Painkiller Already - Painkiller Already #313
Episode Date: December 23, 2016This week on PKA, Josh aka JD 2020 is back with us again, Woody pranks all the guys during the show, a lot of discussion about Call of Duty and the guys share Christmas stories. ...
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It is, yay! On the second one you timed it perfectly. PKA episode 313 with our guest Josh Olin. Kyle?
Yeah, a few sponsors tonight. Tracker, NatureBox, Stance, and Movement Watch is returning again.
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Check those things out, buy them, enjoy their services and products. But yeah, let's get into the show.
I think most people know Josh Olin. He was the community manager for treyarch for quite some time world at war uh black ops one and maybe two yeah the first half of
two all right the good half the first half is always the good half yeah before it was the worst
thing ever to happen to mankind right i mean that's the that's the cycle of of the call of
duty year right is like when it comes out it's the that's the cycle of of the call of duty year right is
like when it comes out it's the worst thing ever and then when the next one comes out it's like
the savior it's the perfect game ever i used the last generation i and and yeah and before it comes
out it's at least as good right the excitement and that's faded a little bit now i think when
new cods are coming out people say this is gonna suck like you know it's gone all the way to some sort of inverse situation cods used to be great for a year then for six
months then for three months now they suck before they even come out because they didn't meet some
weird expectation heck as a metric i could point to the dislike ratio on this one right they were
mad they were mad at cod before it was even released. Did you notice patterns?
After the release, you'd see the January happiness,
and every year around March 15th, you started to get a chill. You could feel the hate incoming.
Like, oh, people are starting to really dislike this game.
Did you peg that down to a part of the year?
Like, oh, it's March. Get ready for it to all go to shit.
I think Reddit even had this really funny infographic that they they circulated which was just the circle of the call of duty
life and it's spot on i mean it was exactly the way that uh that that whole system works and you're
not wrong at all woody either like lately especially like it came sort of to a fever
pitch with infinite warfare it's sort of been flipped upside down.
And now the lead-up hype is almost, you know,
they don't give the game the benefit of the doubt anymore.
And I actually talked to Charlie Intel a little bit about this a few weeks ago.
They had me on the show.
Petey had me on his show.
And it was, you know, I had mentioned that I think part of that
is just the Activision hype machine and the marketing
machine even, where it's like, you know, for a long time, Call of Duty had this perfect formula
and it worked great. And it really did maximize that hype train buildup for a long period of time.
But then that became so the norm, I think that for a lot of people, they started to tune out
that message a little bit or they started to just not believe it as much anymore., I think that for a lot of people, they started to tune out that message a little bit, or
they started to just not believe it as much
anymore. So I think that what you're probably
going to see moving forward is a
bit of a change-up with how, even just
how the games are being marketed, and
the various release cadence and
hype cadence that they use during
the pre-release. I feel like you predict them
to keep going along this, like, space
night trail, where eventually they're not going to be, like, we watch, During the pre-release. Do you predict them to keep going along this. Space knight trail.
Where eventually they're not going to be.
I think Kyle and I.
We watched some clip together.
While we were talking about playing Astrid.
And the victory screen.
The last Call of Duty.
Was there was a couple people.
And then you could be a robot character.
So every once in a while a robot would be.
In their little triangle of victory.
In this one it's all robots.
They've done away with humans of any kind. do you see them eventually being like you know what
world war ii kind of stuck for a reason people are getting a little bit sick of of this uh
this jumping around it but it's basically halo like do you think or do you think they're done
with that like enough no we're going back they're definitely going back and and I want them to. I'm sure, I'm sure they saw the success of Battlefield this year going to
World War 1, a conflict that they've never made a video game about as far as I'm aware, at least not a big
blockbuster game, a triple-A title. So maybe they look at something else, some war that hasn't been gone to. Maybe Vietnam
would be really cool. I'd buy Call of Duty Vietnam.
I might even get excited about it. Black Ops of course hit on a lot of Vietnam stuff, but they
were jumping around in the timeline so much. It wasn't
a pure Vietnam ground
troop kind of game, which
I'd be up for. You know what?
In terms of weaponry,
I feel like
COD 4 to Black Ops
3 had the weapons that interest
me the most. If you go back too
far and they get real slow and
the reloads take forever or too much bolt action stuff i stop enjoying the weapons as much and
that's what turns off certain wars like if i were to exaggerate and be like let's make this roman
and they have shields and spears like that's not cod right yeah ballista noob i didn't like um
the world of war weapons very much like there was a whole lot
of bolt action things now I don't have a ton of time
in that game but I
a lot of iron sights and you know
oh the one that you just had
like a discus for the
magazine and you'd like take it off and throw
it away and then this dude would just appear
another discus and slap it on top
directly on top of the sights
the DP100 or something that was an unusually bad or another discus and slap it on top directly on top of the sights. The DP-100
or something.
That was an unusually bad gun.
So ugly.
I don't know. I kind of like that too
because I like variety
in games because it's Call of Duty.
This is not going to be like a Civ.
It's like, oh, you better get it right. 100%
right. Every fucking detail because I'm going to be
playing this shit for the next seven years. I'm going to mod
this 20 times. It's Call of Duty.
It's just got to last for the year.
If they go back and the weapons are a little clunky,
alright, well maybe next year
we'll do Call of Duty Korea.
And we'll do that.
That's an interesting idea, Korea.
Standards keep going up, though, right?
When COD 4 came out, everyone loved it.
Even though the weapons were wildly unbalanced. The Scorp scorpion is hard to do well with in my hands
anyway they did that tiny clip that shoots like it not only is it 20 rounds but it's like one
second you know like in all 20 rounds are just and the iron sight is just flat yeah it's just got a little clit on it.
So, you know, but people didn't rant and rave in COD 4 about how bad the Scorpion was.
Whereas they would pick like the worst SMG in Black Ops 3 and be like, this game is horrific.
This gun is bad.
Well, so I have a theory about this. You know, I think that because you're right.
People want more. They want they need to see more and more and more something. And traditionally what that's been is the guns have gotten more lethal, the core of always skewed to this area of design that makes the game a little bit less accessible and also a little bit less, a little bit more chaotic.
You know, you hear a lot of the pros in the Call of Duty scene talking about it right now where it's like the game, it not as much about skill as in like who out gun played the other person it's more about well who was lucky enough
to just see the other person first because the guns are so damn lethal that you know when when
when one gun isn't a two-shot kill it's insane immediately just an underpowered gun that's been
nerfed too much right um so I think that it's gotten to this point where you're just splitting hairs with how
you can innovate in those gameplay areas.
And COD 4, it was not that way.
When you think back to the original Modern Warfare 1, and we're kind of rediscovering
it with Remastered a little bit, you know, that game, like take Perks, for example.
You know, Perks were a gameplay design a system that
really only added something to your experience and then coupled with create a class you could
run any loadout any type of perk in an order order a combination you want but now when you talk about
rigs you talk about specialists these are basically at their essence just classes that the franchise
has brought back into the mix.
And they're asking now players who were sort of born on the COD 4 era, who were used to
all that personalization, all that freedom, and only ever adding to the experience with
perks, never removing an element away or making themselves weaker.
Now you're asking them to make this sort of front-loaded decision by saying you have to pick a class, essentially, a specialist or a rig, and then you are put in a box in that type of gameplay as long as you're using that particular class.
So it's sort of going backwards and trying to shoehorn in a system that kind of removes certain experiences or removes certain abilities from people
and makes them play a role.
And it's just different.
And it's not something that I think
the Call of Duty community knew
that they weren't used to or ready for.
Yeah, they're going to have to do something different
because now that they've,
they're writing their own stories right now, right?
You know, it's World War II,
you've already got that narrative there
to like pick and choose your great, amazing stories and events from and reenact those.
When they were just writing their own, like, random space drama battle, like, I don't give a shit about that.
It's not even based on a movie franchise that I care about.
You know, if it was Call of Duty fucking Star Wars, like, I might, oh, really?
Call of Duty Star Wars.
Okay, I know what that's about.
But instead, like.
The Westworld conundrum. Nothing's at stake.
Nothing really is at stake
because I think the story
of Infinite Warfare is that
the space colonies
are rebelling against Earth.
When I hear that, I'm like, well, which side am I on?
You know?
Am I a rebel or am I
protecting the homeland?
That's how I feel about real-life conflicts.
It's like watching just lesbian porn.
You can't put yourself in it.
You're in the same seat as you are currently if you're in that room
because they have no interest.
They're in the clan.
Just recently, the Syrian government pushed out the rebels of Aleppo.
And I'm like, yay or boo?
I'm not even quite sure.
I'm like, oh,
but who's calling them the rebels?
I guess if they're rebels,
we're rooting for them, because otherwise they'd be
terrorists, right?
So that must be boo.
No. It's a boo.
It's a boo.
I knew it. That's al-assad the
and the uh and and the russians and the and the iraqi and the iranian militias which normally
we'd call terrorists fighting against isis all at the same time that yeah that's a boo for us as
americans that's a yay for russians and probably a yay for some iranians and iraqis but it's a boo for us as Americans. That's a yay for Russians and probably a yay for some Iranians and Iraqis.
But it's a big fucking clusterfuck.
That's why, you know, it was so scary when Hillary wanted to impose her no-flies-on over there.
It seemed like Russia won, which I guess is a boo, until January 20th, at which point it will be a yay.
But ISIS lost, which is consistently a yay.
So the whole situation is very hard for me to follow.
Yeah, I think everyone's on the same page with ISIS.
We need to come together more on that.
Nobody likes them.
Yeah, they're very short on allies.
Yeah, yeah, that's for sure.
I think we're definitely supporting people
who are allies of ISIS,
because ISIS is kind of like the supreme command over there for the militias. I think we're definitely supporting people who are allies of ISIS,
because ISIS is kind of like the supreme command over there for the militias.
So we're supporting people who are hopping in the vehicle with ISIS and then going to fight these people.
So it's a real clusterfuck.
We're definitely indirectly supporting ISIS.
We almost indirectly through countries like Qatar and Saudi Arabia, I think,
where we make money to ISIS.
And I guess we do it directly, too.
Well, not directly.
We're not saying, hey, Mr. ISIS, here's your money,
but we're supporting those militia groups who are just as good as ISIS,
who are right there with them alongside them, taking orders from them,
taking orders from there.
Of course, the Russians are the ones doing all of the intelligence work.
They're the ones directing the munitions that are falling on those cities and stuff.
You see in Aleppo where they're saying 50,000 people, civilians, are just stuck in there.
But they don't know how many.
There's no way of counting.
That's a rough fucking situation.
It's never a good conflict when both sides are cutting people's hands off.
Usually when something's on TV,
you're like, oh, you can tell
they're kind of the good guys
in this turkey thing or whatever.
See, they've got blankets and cocoa
for the people who are afraid.
Oh, those people are sawing noses and ears off.
They're the bad guys.
And this one, you know,
I just was reading an article today
that was so sad.
And it was just pictures of two poor Iraqi boys
who I guess got on the wrong side of ISIS
or whatever little caliphate is running that neighborhood and they just locked their hands
off for and it's both hands you know you know what the best part of this conversation is that's not
so bad after that sterling thing josh has fucking nothing to say on this topic he won't even knock
isis he's like yo mom's the word baby i'm just trying to figure out how we
got on isis so quickly that's the fastest everything comes back to isis that's all i'm
sitting here i'm just trying to trace it back like wait and china i think it was me i forget
i made some comparison but yeah we're just all like, I think ISIS is bad, and Josh is like, you know what?
I don't even have an opinion on that.
I have no public opinion on this
ISIS you speak of.
I can't make a definitive stance
at this time. I don't think there's anybody.
They don't have an ally. I don't think there's anybody
who would have a different position than their
Josh has a strong line
anti-ISIS. I know that.
They don't have any allies who's buying all that oil.
Well, you don't have to like them to buy their oil.
You just need their oil.
Yeah.
Oh, no, we're just buying their oil.
You know, we give them money for oil.
We don't know anything about terror.
Saudi Arabia, Turkey, Pakistan.
You guys know who CGP Grey is, right?
Yes, yes.
If people don't know, he's a popular YouTuber.
He makes informative videos.
Pretty damn popular.
He has a podcast too called Hello Internet that's really entertaining.
But his most recent video is something about the rules of the ruler.
The keys to the kingdom or something like that.
Yeah, yeah.
And they talk a lot about this.
The keys to the kingdom or something like that.
Yeah, yeah. And they talk a lot about this, about some of the worst dictatorships or some of the worst places to live can be built on just these unbelievable riches, right?
Some natural resource or some commodity that the whole world needs.
And so those do best and democracies do best and everything else in between sort of sucks.
And his video, it's like a 15-minute video where he just deconstructs all the rules and the pieces to setting up an empire or building like the ruling class.
And it's pretty fascinating.
It mostly focuses on dictatorships, but it talks about democracies too.
And that was super interesting because um dictatorship with democracy they're
like why are there so many like children that succeed their parents which we've seen with bush
and almost with clinton and you know why has this happened why has that happened and it just turns
out that like the people right underneath the top leader the people who are the the key holders to
power are trying to keep themselves in that position but so by having a
ready-made like a known quantity to replace the previous guy at top you know they can support them
and it dude cpg gray makes great videos and it was eye-opening to me and he made them during
the election cycle and it was like i totally see how this is applicable to what we have now well
you don't have to worry about any uh neism with Donald Trump. He won't have that problem
with his family.
He certainly won't.
He doesn't operate that way.
No.
I like it. I'm glad he's doing it.
It's a complete meritocracy
over there. He hires nobody but the
most qualified for the given position.
I didn't have
to look far this time.
I really think he should hit up more dancing
with the stars contestants positions if you don't know rick perry rick perry was on dances oh okay
yeah okay yeah i was like who did he fucking get those on dancing the stars okay good rick perry
all right well he was already kind of embarrassing enough as is that That's actually a gold star on his record once he forgot.
He forgot the fucking energy department.
If you haven't seen it, I'm sure anybody who's into politics has seen it and heard it.
But the deal is back when he was running for president, he was like,
there are three government agencies that are going to be fucking nixed, gone out of here when I'm president.
He was like, whatever, education um department of douchebags
and bitches and uh uh uh he forgets right he's like looking to ron ron paul yeah
oh he just goes silent yeah yeah he didn't say shit he's not filling that air he's leaving rick
out there and he's just like i I can't come up with it.
I forgot. Oops.
Somebody else told him.
One of his competitors eventually threw him a lifeline.
And the answer, of course,
Department of Energy?
And he's like, right, right, that's the one.
Imagine if he said, like,
no, because he didn't want to admit that.
If he was smooth, he'd have been,
you see how forgettable
a department, the energy department is? I can't
even keep it straight. That's one that definitely
needs to be gone. If we can't remember it right, folks,
you might have gotten a laugh. I'm sure he had these
like shower George Costanza moments
where the next day he's like
the jerk store ran out of you.
He's trying to set that up.
He's trying to set that same. He's trying to set that same scenario up
in regular social situations.
But it just doesn't come off the same.
Never pans out.
And now he leads the Department of Energy.
I would have never saw that coming.
I would have never seen that coming.
I hope that he's great.
Although, I want to see us move towards that nuclear start
Into nuclear more and see what kind of power we can generate
the Germans did
The German made the Germans made a fucking fusion reactor that works. They've got this three-dimensional magnetic field
That's that's that's that's the real part of it
That was hard to do this like sphere of magnetism that's compressing this ball of
hydrogen until it fuck it until fusion happens until the nucleotides atoms start fusing fusing together the the
Fuel is seawater of course I say you're gonna get your hydrogen and the the excess is helium gas
Which we don't have a whole lot of any way the planet needs that
Need more helium and the thing is this thing is a small sun that they've created.
They're compressing that gas.
Very small.
100 million degrees.
A little bitty sun.
A safe sun.
100 million degrees.
The reason they're using this magnetic field and why it's so important is they can't contain it with anything else.
You put a steel wall, aluminum, whatever, it just melts right through it.
It's a little artificial sun that the Germans have cooking over there right freaking now.
They've got it, and it works.
What I think the problem is, I haven't read the report, and I'm certainly not scientifically
minded enough to know for sure, but what I suspect the problem is, because it's still
a great scientific breakthrough, but I suspect the problem is, of course, scalability in
that, yeah, you can get that much pressure and force out of magnetic fields at a small scale,
but if you try to scale that up to a level that would be able to power the planet or continents,
it's probably going to be a pretty big challenge.
Maybe you have to make a bunch of little suns.
Right.
Everyone seems to know.
Why are they in parallel or in series?
The answer is to take all these new technologies and sort of use them together, right?
Like I get that.
A little solar, a little wind power, which is just a kind of solar really and uh a little hydroelectric a little
nuclear etc but i don't understand why and god i don't know how to say this is not starting to
fight but it seems to be a republican thing in particular they just fucking hate solar they hate
like windmills oh windmills are a terrible thing.
Windmills are one of the cheapest renewables there are.
It's just like common sense.
The wind will always blow.
Why wouldn't you want to?
What could you possibly have against this?
That's one of the things they say.
Well, it's not always windy, so therefore it's a bad idea.
And it's like, no, it really seems like a piece of the puzzle to me.
And solar, I have my number wrong. I can't remember if in the last 15 years it got 99.7% better or 97% better.
But by some, like, enormous number, the trajectory of improvement on solar is incredibly good.
Yeah.
Yet the enthusiasm amongst Republicans, it seems, is still around, like, coal and nuclear and the ones that I'm not more excited about?
Well, I can't speak to partisanship of like just people, but I know that for the party,
it's just it's just lobby.
It's just corruption.
You know, it's just there's so much big oil interest in the Republican Party, specifically
funding Republican candidates and Republican policies that they won't want any alternative
energy source other than oil, oil, oil, oil, which, again, to me seems really short sighted.
Of course, I would think that if I were running a big oil company that I would just be I would be parlaying my my positions with these renewable sources.
I got a ton of money right now. So let's go ahead and start getting into solar.
Let's start getting into this alternate energy fuel sources.
But the point is, I think that's what it is at a policy level.
And to me, I don't really identify as Democrat or Republican.
I identify as a pragmatic thinker.
And I just realized that I like Elon Musk's basis on this.
Now, of course, he owns a solar company.
So of course, he's going to say solar is the future.
There's no one more biased than that.
But he's also a very smart and visionary scientific mind. mind and so i think that you know the way he breaks it down
it's just very simple it's like well eventually you know short of creating our own sun eventually
we will run out of oil like we just will and it's it's a finite commodity that's not being
replenished at the rate it's being always finding more though we we have to yeah but the planet's only so big so we have to eventually rely on solar musk has smartly said
like my plan is to make solar the economic the economically viable alternative right like he's
not trying to get people to adopt solar against their own like personal best interests which i
think is smart you know there are a lot of people especially people with good money. I know Scott Adams from Dilbert
did this. He bought solar and made
his whole house energy independent and stuff
like that. And he's like, you know, when you're rich,
it's almost your obligation to lead the
way on this thing. But... I think solar makes
a lot more sense than wind.
Oh, yeah. It just seems like wind
is a huge amount. It seems like that was
step one in the right
direction of like, all this or i
guess dams still hydroelectric still can produce a lot of power but wind it just it just seems like
you could couldn't you repurpose all that and spend that money on a solar panel or something
that's more efficient there's a trade-off there's a trade-off of wind because doesn't matter how
fast the wind is blowing there is a limit to how fast the turbines will spin you'll never see a
wind turbine spinning like a motherfucker, right?
So there's always this sort of lost or diminished rate on efficiency.
But what they do is they increase the resistance of the alternator that it's turning.
So they don't have to increase the speed to increase the power.
They just increase the magnetic field that it's turning,
so it requires more torque to get the power. They just increase the magnetic field that it's turning, so it requires more torque to get it going.
But there's still only so much of the wind
that you're going to be capturing with a single windmill,
whereas the sun, that's a much,
you could scale that a lot better than wind.
And with solar, there's like a huge misperception.
Again, in the party side, it's just corruption,
which is why the Republicans in politics resist it.
But I think there's also a malleability of the public that doesn't fully understand it so that when a politician does say something like, well, the sun doesn't always shine.
What happens when the sun goes down?
What happens at night?
Your house just turns off, right?
Or what happens when you're living in an area that's covered by clouds 60 of the year right they don't understand that or they're not explaining is
this the distributed solar grid that solar city and elon musk wants to build out so that they will
be able to route areas with surplus solar coverage like california and they'll be able to route a lot
of that power over to the parts of the country that don't get as much sun and to make up that difference.
So that at scale, it's really just math. It's not like a it's not a theory.
You just do the math for what the efficiency of solar is and how many square feet of these these panels you'll need and where you need to route it.
And you could just do it on a pen and paper and figure out, yeah, this would work.
could just do it on a pen and paper and figure out yeah this would work like there's it would work it just would and that's using today's efficiency not even taking into consideration
where that technology is going to scale and continue to improve so um yeah i mean it to me
it's just it's it's obvious it's not a democrat there's challenges with transporting electricity
though right like you can't just put it on a wire and send it across the nation it it uh there's
losses there you know like entropy
or not an entropy that's not the word for it or like where it loses a certain amount of power
however long it travels yeah there's i learned about this you know back when electricity was new
and uh um when i was in college there were there were just fucking keys and kites and shit.
But there's something to do with pumping up the voltage allows it to travel over the lines better than they turn down the voltage and send it to houses.
I forget exactly how it works.
I remember driving through Kentucky one time, and the power poles were all leaning toward the road from the tension of the line.
They were like crisscrossing the road.
And my cousin was like, Jesus Christ,
that's ridiculous. I was like,
don't judge them too harshly, Scott. They've only
got electricity a couple years ago around here.
This is pretty good
for these folks.
This is gen one of their technology.
They started off.
They had oil lanterns burning whale oil
just six months back.
I have a completely different topic.
As of today, Jackie has approved the purchase of a motorcycle for me.
So that is a thing that is likely to happen.
Well, we all knew that would happen.
That is not a step up from a flying contraption.
That is five or six steps down.
She's relieved when she sees you leave the house on that motorcycle.
Let us know when she cosigns on like a nitro-fueled drag car.
Because that'll be surprising.
But motorcycle seems right on the same page as flying contraption.
Well, last time that I was on the show, you had just gone on some flying contraption little adventure.
And you were talking about wanting to get a motorcycle but that she
would never approve such a dangerous thing for you so something's changed though she's come around
yeah the corner sometimes people who only see the end of my little you know successes feel like i'm
very impulsive but that's not the case a lot of times these things are brewing for you know months
or years before they they come to fruition and uh yeah the flying contraption was i had eyes on that for over a decade the uh the motorcycle
this is actually my fourth one but she was really not down for it and it took some you know
convincing and it in the end it came down to sort of a honey this is something I really want like this is a
key to happiness I had a motorcycle when you met me and it doesn't seem right
that you have like the power to sort of just change who I am and say like this
hope and dream is crazy I was born to ride it's in my yeah it like I feel like
you signed up for this I had a motorcycle when you met me I wrote a
motorcycle for the next nine years.
You know, like you shouldn't just get to say now you're a non-rider.
Well, what are you getting?
What's your bike?
So tomorrow I'm looking at a bike.
It's a BMW G650GS.
It's like a street bike with a little bit of a dual sport flair to it.
It's not super fast, but it's not meant to be like a highway cruiser type thing.
It's meant to burn around the farm roads to the east of me and maybe on trails to the south.
So that's the idea.
Are you going to ride around?
Is that going to be like your day mode of transportation?
Or is this just going to be like a fun weekend thing?
A fun thing, but every day is a weekend to me, so it could be any day.
Living the dream, living the life.
Yeah, so I guess just – That's for his non-flight days.
You go to the store.
Right, when the weather is right or something,
and I just feel like going by motorcycle instead.
I might do some moto vlogs.
That could be a thing.
You probably don't watch my channel, but I've been doing these
para vlogs where I go up in the flying
contraption, the paramotor, and just
talk about stuff like I used to do over gameplay.
Now I do it over
flight footage, but in real time while I'm
up there. How many people on YouTube
do this? You've got to be at like a
upper 1%. Oh, there are
half dozens of us
are there really
go up and vlog about it like just while they're
flying around so there's a lot of people who make
videos but all they do is like
put it to music and
I am passionately
enthusiastic about paramotors and I think
it's boring you know I can't
watch too many people just sit
in a fucking sky chair to music like it
and you won't find people more interested than me but there are other guys who vlog
and as a vlog background i think it it's at least as interesting as motorcycles or gameplay or
anything else like you know it it's pretty cool and um but there's not many people who bothered to do it right you know to get like half decent audio and such so so yeah but but you know there are a lot of
days when it's not appropriate to fly so adding a motor what do you what do you
do about the audio problem because like that would you can't just be like a
windsock of doom that you're putting on this thing like how do you solve that
issue well there's a of course there's course there's the foam thing over the mic
and that handles a lot of the wind.
The bigger issue is the motor noise
and I tend to gain altitude.
What I do is I gain altitude,
then I talk on the descent as the motor runs slower
and then I gain altitude and talk on the next descent
and I kind of repeat that process.
And it also leads to a nice collection of thoughts.
If I were to just put a
mic in front of you and say, go for 16 minutes and be interesting and intelligent, after a couple,
you might lose steam. But if you got a break to regather your thoughts every so often, which is
the natural thing that happens on a paramotor, because you have to gain altitude and it's noisy.
So anyway, I am very excited about this idea. I'm going to see the motorcycle tomorrow.
And I hope that it's, I hope it's everything that it should be.
I think it's a go.
The Craigslist ad, people are going to find it.
But the Craigslist ad had like, I don't know, 20, 30 pictures to it.
Like all these clothes.
Like I don't think I'm going to go there tomorrow and be like, this is nothing like I imagined.
No, he took a picture and then
he rotated like 10 degrees and took another picture and then so you see it from like 300
and then like close-ups of the instrument panel and things like that so um so i better pull the
trigger on that you don't want to miss out on motorcycle season coming up in december january
february you know you know that on on, though, this very well could be motorcycle buying season.
Right?
This might be when the deals exist.
I bet Kyle bought his boat in December.
Absolutely.
Well, maybe not a great example.
The SS YouTube money was the greatest name of a boat ever.
Oh, yeah, absolutely absolutely that's what it was
yeah the um well i'm excited you got a motorcycle that's kind of cool what do you are you are you
gonna put around it or is this the kind that you could potentially take on one of those like
pacific highway cruises you know it's an interesting question. So obviously it does highway speeds and stuff, but it's not so fast that 50 and 70 miles, like 70 miles an hour is kind of the top end of where it wants to be. It goes 100, 105 or something.
Like I don't want, say, 40 to feel like it sucks, right?
You know, because if 40 sucks, then you got to go 110 to do like the cool stuff.
And I've been there.
I had a leader bike, a Ducati 907i.
And that's a – it's like a race car of a motorcycle.
And, you know, that's cool.
I've had it and I liked it.
But this time around, I'm looking for something that's fun when the speed limit is 50. So that's, that's the target. Josh, it seems like, you know,
a good bit about motorcycles. Do you ride one? No, I don't ride one. I never would. I'm too much
of a pussy to ride a motorcycle. Yeah. Okay. Well, it's more like, I just don't like, I trust my
ability to ride a bike and ride a motorcycle.
I just don't trust all the other idiots on the road to not kill me.
And that's, I can't get over that.
Yeah, I think I'd like to.
That 16, like, someone Hope's age could just completely crush you between a median and their car as they're like.
Oh, let's watch some motorcycle crashes.
I couldn't stick any beer out of my dad's place,
but I'm on the way.
My mom was a registered nurse for 14 years
when I'm growing up. She's seen all of them.
My stepdad
was an EMT, so he's responded
to these things. So I'm getting the stories and the
pictures all grown up.
Again, I have a dash cam
mounted in my car.
And I wanted to at one point just put a montage together i just didn't have time didn't have the energy to do it of all the
near misses that i've had on that thing and i'm just thinking if i was on a bike i wouldn't have
been able to break that hard i would have died i wouldn't have been able to swerve the way i just
swerved in my car like i just think like man all these things would have been uh you know could
have just been bad.
But maybe I also just have really bad luck too.
I've got like notoriously bad, shitty luck.
Do you get a say?
Because I want a dash cam for the same reason,
like to catch all the interesting things that happen.
Like, I don't know, 25 years of driving,
nothing interesting so far.
Yeah, I can't imagine being like, man,
I can't wait to compile all that footage.
I can't wait to relive my drive home
from work again in slow motion
and go, oh, was that super guy being a dick?
A little bit, but not enough to include in the video.
That just sounds
so fucking awful.
I wish that I had a camera going at my dash
all these years. I have seen some shit.
There's been some crazy shit happen in front
of me. I've seen cars spin and people
swerve and people who just couldn't keep
their cars on the road. And I've had people
try to run me off the road and all kinds
of crazy stuff.
I wish I was in an area with snow.
You're almost guaranteed to see
some stuff if you're in an area with snow.
The best I've seen with any consistency is
poorly secured loads. Like pickup
trucks that are over full
or trailers without proper tie-downs and stuff like that.
Woody, I know you grew up somewhere with a lot of snow.
Josh, I don't know where you grew up.
New York.
New York? Okay, so you did too.
Kyle, maybe, I don't know.
I'm sure in Georgia, people really struggle
if there's a lot of snow on the ground.
Maybe not. I don't know.
If there's an inch of snow on the ground, the not. I don't know. If there's an inch of snow on the ground,
the whole state shuts down.
It was so embarrassing two years ago
where it snowed a minuscule amount.
Just enough so that you could see it.
And it really locked Atlanta down.
They took these photographs of it
and they were overlaying it with the walking dead
photographs.
It's like, yeah.
The whole freeway. Cars abandoned.
People leaving their
cars that was north carolina that was between the two houses that i have now there's like trucks on
the side of the road there's a fire people started like photoshopping it to make it even more extreme
but but yeah north carolina snow let me see if i can find godzilla's in it and
have you guys ever had the thing though where you go i saw one there was a clip that got
went really viral with a comcast truck that was on the road and they didn't put enough cones out
yeah jd knows i'm talking about have you ever had that where you come over a hill in the snow
and you do exactly what happens in those videos and you try and break and you just start sliding
completely sideways down the road that moment
of panic of my car's rear wheel drive so this happens twice a winter where i'm just in a blind
panic like oh i should have won was it worth it your life was it worth it not to just buy a
fucking highlander before the season like no it's the most unsettling feeling ever i've never went
sideways but i've had the wheels you know just lock up and you can feel you're just skidding and you're just thinking. It's just unbelievable. It's so
scary when you have that happen.
I really hope they catch soon and you get that traction back and you can feel it again.
Thankfully I always have, but yeah, that's not a good feeling.
I've had it where the eye was sliding, the guy in front of me was sliding, and the guy
behind me was sliding. I'm like, if I escape this without an accident, it's going to be
a real miracle
Last time we were in Colorado
I thought I told you guys like as soon as I pull out of the the rental car place
There is an upended car right there an upside-down fucking vehicle going
Sliding at like three miles per hour down the road, and I'm just like I'm just like you don't see that every day
They'll be okay, and then we just continued on our path,
driving right through the ice that they had just wrecked in.
And the fucking like Enterprise or Hertz guys
just like, God damn it.
The thing about ice though,
is sometimes there's no talent that saves you, right?
Like in snow, I got to generalize.
So I learned to drive in a snowy place.
And if I come into a red light,
sometimes I just maintain a couple miles an hour.
So I never had to go to a dead stop
or start from a dead stop. And I'm aware of what downhill does and what
turns do and stuff. I get it. But when it's icy, icy, icy, and it's just a sheet of slipperiness,
all you can really do is not take that road. I don't blame people too much. I saw something on
YouTube just recently. Guy slides down, then a bus slides down and hits him, then a truck slides down and hits the bus, then
another bus comes in and sandwiches the two, and then a cop, then a policeman
comes and he slides down and it's like you know. And then, hang on, the finale is
then it was a snow plow that was salting the road, slides down and hits the cop car.
Yeah, yeah, thank you, thank you.
It falls in a sideways way, so it's falling down, sliding, not helping,
but you can see the salt spinner on the back.
The guy just picks it up like, please, just get as much salt on this as I can.
We'll make the most of this.
We're going to make the most of this crash.
Get all the salt out that we can.
Yeah, yeah, you guys are right.
And those people were just in the wrong spot.
I considered myself at one point, probably not now, like a good snow driver because I did it all the time.
But if it's just ice, there was an intersection in Jersey where the whole intersection,
like the center of it and then all four ways were ice for like, I don't know, 30 feet away from the stoplight.
And there was nothing people could do.
They just had to shut down the intersection and close the road because it was – it's not about talent.
There's no traction.
If Chiz ever comes on the show again, I'll let him tell the tale of me driving us up and down those fucking mountains in Colorado.
Did you do well?
Because you wouldn't believe it if I told it, god damn it.
I get things that day you've never seen before that was when you were in the explorer
we were in that ford explorer and i pressed snowflake mode and prayed for six and a half
hours it was so terrifying we were behind this i did that in vermont in a toyota yaris
it was coming up that hill the wheels were spinning 60 and the car was
doing 30 it was screaming oh that was so bad yeah i uh i want to go back to colorado that was the
fuck that that drive though i don't want to get there in the middle of a blizzard and then drive
through a blizzard in a rental car for six and a half hours though that was not fun almost wreck a few times like for real oh yeah i swear so it was like full concentration 100 intensity for six hours when i
got done it was just such a huge emotional relief because for hours it was just a hundred percent
like fighter pilot concentration because the tight the tiniest little you'd feel the ice and you'd
have to be you'd have to be ready you can't
make a thing like this you've got to slowly steer out of it back into the dry parts of the road
my experience is the opposite like like the tires are like and i'm like
going eight miles an hour just waiting in that fucking yaris which is so you know i picture the yaris almost
being like legalists when he's showing all the rest of the troop on mount carathrus or whatever
how he can walk on top of the snow and they're all trudging along like that's what your yaris
would be just skipping across the top of the south Yaris was dangerously close
to being inadequate
to get him to where he was going.
And if that thing breaks down,
he's just going to die in it.
No one should buy a new Yaris.
The Yaris is such a horrible, terrible car.
You should really get a used car.
I can't think of any situation
where someone's like,
I have 10 grand.
Let's get a Yaris.
No.
You need to get yourself
a used Tacoma or something
because that yaris is garbage it's a terrible terrible car for people that don't know better
but i like the wintertime stuff i like snow and ice and frigid you know air out there i didn't
get i don't get that enough here of course we have really we do have bitter cold winters you
know i mean there are nights when it's going to drop down to negative but it's nothing like up
north and it's nothing like up north,
and it's nothing like what we got in Colorado with all that snow and everything.
I really like that.
Speaking of winter activities, the Flyers are on a 10-game win streak.
It is their longest win streak since 1985.
The Flyers had a huge unbeaten streak at one point,
but that was back when there were ties.
Now that you only win and lose, the 10-game win streak is legit,
and it is the best in the NHL.
And the problem is they are in the toughest division in the NHL by far.
The leader of the division is on a seven-game win streak.
The people right behind them are arguably ahead of them
because they have fewer games played, or on a four-game win streak, Columbus. The Penguins are on a big win streak too. people right behind them are arguably ahead of them because they have fewer games played or on a four game win streak. Columbus.
The Penguins are on a big win streak too.
Everybody's winning.
They go through phases
where you'll be like, oh wow
looks like the Atlantic is doing really good
and oh my god the Pacific has lost
every one of them are losing and then it'll switch
but right now the Metro is in the
middle of a huge
upswing. They're winning a huge,
like Philly has on a 10 game win streak and they are objectively the second
best team in Pennsylvania.
How crazy is that?
In Pennsylvania.
The thing,
they're in like fourth,
maybe in their division.
It's hard in hockey to know who's in what place because like Philly's ahead
of Columbus,
for example,
in that they get,
you get two points for a win in one point for an overtime loss they have more
points but they have four more games played so you might argue they're not really ahead um anyway
uh philly is crushing it and taylor says that the conference like oh you know we'll see they all go
hot and cold there's 32 games in the season like i think it's it's okay to to draw a trend at this
point um yeah they're doing well yeah like if you and you can see. I think it's okay to draw a trend at this point.
Yeah, they're doing well.
And you can see how it happened.
It's interesting to watch as the seasons go.
Three years ago, the Metropolitan Division,
Sands, the Rangers, and Pittsburgh were so bad.
It was like every time that season when the Blues were really good,
I was like, oh, fuck yeah, we're playing a team from Metro who's not the Penguins or the Rangers.
We're going to win.
Well, that year it was Philly.
Philly was not good that year.
But now, like Metro's, you know, a couple years of good draft picks
and good team building.
Like they've had some really good rebuilds going on over there.
I can't believe how well Columbus is doing.
I'm glad they're doing well.
They're a team that never gets any recognition for anything.
They're the team that, like, the Columbus Blue Jackets and the Carolina Hurricanes.
People just forget, like, oh, fuck, I forgot they had a team there.
I like seeing those teams do well.
Like, I want to see the Arizona Coyotes do well,
but they are suck-a-dick bad this year.
Like, oh, so terrible.
But I know, Josh, you're a big Rangers fan, right?
No. No, you've heard wrong sir or islanders fan or whatever i gotta be honest i'm not a big hockey fan i figured i made
that up yeah nobody is just woody humors me and i enjoy it and then we move on yeah
Blues have a game tonight oh the Blues
their last game I watched
they sorry it'll be over after this I swear
they went up three
to nothing in
the beginning of the second period
against Minnesota and
I had just like a sinking
feeling in my stomach like you know this is exactly what the St. Louis Blues have done for 50 years.
They'll find a way to fuck this game up.
Lose 6-3.
They allowed six straight goals in one and a half periods and lost.
So that was – nobody out there cares very much,
but rest assured I was upset for minutes on end after the game.
I got another thing.
It's kind of hockey talk.
I looked into joining a men's league.
I'm like, you know what? I live in Raleigh.
There's a couple rinks here. It's way easier than it used
to be for me to find a local game.
I'm going to start calling around on men's leagues
and actually make this flippin' happen.
So I look around and
I want to play a C league.
For people that don't know my skill
level, A is the top in
beer league hockey and C is the bottom.
I used to be the B league MVP.
There is a stretch there where I got MVP six games in a row for my team.
I was the all-star team in the B league.
I also played a little A league, but I was below average in that league.
That's where I was.
And then over time, I just stopped getting MVP.
I wasn't scoring as much.
I'm obviously aging, but I
couldn't put my... I seem like I'm just as
fast, but my numbers are shit.
So I think when I come back,
I'm going to go into the lowest league with the people
that stumble on their skates, and I
should be an above average player in the worst
league.
You're totally going to run into some guy there.
That first day you're going to go in there and you're going to be in the locker room just drained,
just wore the fuck out.
It didn't go like you wanted.
You couldn't even skate as fast as you used to.
And there's going to be that guy by the locker room going,
I got something here that will take care of that for you.
A little testosterone.
Just bend over.
Let me help you out.
Wait, wait.
What are we doing in the locker room at this point?
You do a little something for him.
He's going to do a little something for you.
How does he deliver this testosterone exactly?
Does it come from his penis?
You close your eyes and take your medicine.
Don't worry about where it comes from.
Six weeks in, like, this isn't working at all.
But I'm kind of requiring a taste for the treatment.
Just stick with it.
But the problem with the men's league in my area, get this.
They play Monday, Wednesday, Friday, Saturday, and Sunday.
And I'm like, what do I do with this information?
Because I can't play Tuesday, Thursday.
That's when we do the show, right?
They play every day that's not Tuesday, Thursday.
So you'd think I'm available, but how do I plan around this?
How do I go anywhere?
What do I do with my weekends?
It's always late at night for the most part or very early.
It's times where ice is cheap.
So usually like 11.30 p.m. you'll have a game.
You have to go when the most people are there because if you go on an off day,
you might just get the saltiest hardened veterans of the sea league beer league you are a team
and your team has a schedule against the other teams so like you don't it's not pickup it's uh
yeah yeah really i would be on right into organized hockey then i looked at the teams
and i like i don't know anything about the teams. I didn't look at their records, but one of the teams was named the Little Deeks.
I'm like, I don't know.
That's the one I like.
That's hilarious.
Like D-E-K-E is like a –
Yeah, yeah.
I want to see that uniform.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
And teams are – they have really raunchy, inappropriate names.
And not raunchy like, oh, that's cute.
Raunchy like there will be a jersey, and it's just like a girl getting, you know,
fucked doggy style and be like, oh, we're the fucking doggies.
Whatever stupid shit they do.
We used to play against a team called the Iceholes.
The Iceholes?
That's a classic.
There's one of those in every –
Only here for the beer is the one where I see them.
And they all think they're the original one.
They're all like, ha-ha, Iceholes.
Yeah, that's so clever.
Yeah.
But, yeah, I'm going gonna keep looking around at the other
rinks because that monday wednesday friday saturday sunday schedule no of course you don't
play every day you play any one of those days and i'm like i can't plan around this like you keep
track of your stats when you did it like would you be like i got an assist tonight i got a goal
tonight or did you just know like i did the I would – I knew how many goals I had.
I think that's all I really paid attention to.
Maybe on that night I'd think, you know, a goal and two assists.
But over the season I would just count goals.
You sound like you're doing what I like to do on NHL 17 in season mode
when I'm, like, you know, playing God and being like,
oh, this character isn't doing as well as pleases the master, so I'm
just going to jump in and play a few games and be this character and get him like 60
goals real quick.
You just turn the skill down on the other team, turn your slap shot all the way up to
where you just shoot lasers into the net.
You just want to go down there and troll all the paraplegic blind kids who are playing
in the C League.
That's what I want, but it's yet to be proven
that I am not a paraplegic blind kid.
I haven't played hockey in seven years.
It's the can't-see league.
The can't-see league.
I don't know. There's even an upper, lower,
and mid-C at one of the rinks.
I was going to call the rink manager,
describe my background, and see where I fit.
It might pay dividends to sit in
on one of
these activities and just see what's going on out there because people describe their own skill um
and in a lot of different ways you never know what you're getting into you might get in there
and you're like wow these guys are fucking what i would consider an 80 an a league or you might
get up there and be like i think i'm gonna be mvp again uh yeah it is north carolina like
that's true but i'm like some sort of like uh i i guess i'm racist against that your geography i'm
like are there really that many guys in north carolina who have this storied background on the
ice if you were in philly it'd be a different thing right i hear you and i think you're right
none of the players from north carolina though like last year, there were a lot of guys from Buffalo, New Jersey.
A lot of them played college hockey.
Small talent pool.
That's true.
That's true.
It just has to be easier in North Carolina than it is up north.
It has to be easier in North Carolina.
It's got to be.
The ice is softer.
Everything's easier.
I don't know if that's true.
The softer ice is not a good thing
but um but like you should go into that like it'd be better for you to go into a game and realize
oh i'm gonna get a hat trick tonight then go into a game and be like oh my god i'm woefully
outmatched look at that guy look how fast that guy is jesus like the problem with being
this guy's handling the puck.
He's not even looking at it.
He's not even fucking looking at it.
If you're woefully outmatched, I really don't want to let my team down.
I hope that when they see me play after the first period, they're like, ah, Woody, good pickup.
Good place for you?
Yeah.
This guy handles the puck without looking at it.
He's the guy that we want on our team or occasionally looking at it.
Let's be fair.
I plan.
But I don't want them to be like,
oh my god, is the power play
get Woody off the ice?
What you need is every time you
touch the puck in that C-League, you need to start
whistling like the Harlem Globetrotters
versus the Generals song where
your beard is deking
around everybody.
One thing.
It's like skating circles around some guy until he falls over.
One of the rinks in my area, and I might choose this place on purpose.
So my skating is better than my stick handling.
I've always said this is true.
One of the rinks is Olympic sized, which totally plays into my skill set.
Instead of having to deke some guy and fucking pass it to yourself off the glass,
there's room. Just skate
where he's not, and you'll be fine.
So I might play in the oversized rink.
Now, will we get any vlogs of this?
Because I'm loving the
freedom this motorcycle
is going to bring to your life,
but I feel like videos of you on the ice,
that piques my interest
much more so than one
of the challenges and this happens in in all kinds of vlogging things they don't compare me against
like people in my peer group they're like you know i saw sydney crosby mike crosby and and you know
and aside from the fact that he just cries to refs all the time like his puck handling was way more
impressive than woody's and like i i just feel like people are gonna watch the gopro nhl videos where it's like
yeah how about that sook what are you gonna do today he's like i'm going to take the puck not
look at it and score over my head between legs uh with the side of stick and i'm like all right
you do it between legs and overhead is impressive yeah very very impressive for pavel that's it but
yeah could they do that, you think?
Like, could they play?
Like, what if they turn their sticks around the other way?
That's what I'd like to see.
I always see those videos where the guy pretends like he's some beer league guy,
but really he's an NHL all-star, and he goes,
and then of course he destroys them.
It's fun to watch, but only for 30 seconds.
I want to see him flip that stick around and use the handle to fucking play.
That would, like like blow me away like i see um could we can you put
it on top do it enough to like if i were playing against a brand or if woody were playing it's a
brand new person in hockey he could like he could keep the puck away from you using the knob on the
stick just because he would knock it slightly out of your reach skate over to it and then knock it
slightly out of your reach and then skate over to, and then knock it slightly out of your reach,
and then skate over to it and knock it.
And I would keep my butt between him and the puck, right?
That would be like 80% of it.
Usually the way you flip your stick like that,
if you're a defenseman,
and that's a drill to try and knock the puck loose for the guy breaking in without the blade of your stick
to train you better on stick lifting and whatnot.
Oh, I'm sorry.
Are you there?
Oh, I'm sorry. I jibbed off a bit during hockey stick technique.
He nearly lost me
on Ellen Taylor.
Let me take this moment
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They're just super-duper tiny. They gave us some little PKA. These things are great. They're just super duper tiny.
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It's a key ring?
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You can use it as a key ring.
You can stuff it in the pocket of your paramotor or motorcycle
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It's like a low jack.
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And it's got a little hole there
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So, I really like it.
Does it have a SIM card in it, or is it using
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It's magic, I believe.
I don't know.
Another thing is
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Right?
Even if it's on silent.
You could hypothetically use your tracker to find your phone right i think that's if you're full yeah even if it's on silent even if it's on silent so like
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stuff kyle the appropriate amount uh you know you shouldn't have too much
of a good thing they have the appropriate amount of good things that is a good thing i i have a
topic what would that be yeah twitch now ally now allows live streaming but it doesn't have to be a
game anymore like so they added art, I think.
And art was kind of broadly stretched.
Like Pam?
It could be art.
It could be music.
I think there was a woodworker there.
He was a really talented woodworker, and he was making cool stuff.
Are you talking about Twitch IRL?
Yeah, and now there's Twitch IRL.
So you no longer need any talent whatsoever to stream on Twitch.
I did a live stream on Twitch, and it went pretty well.
I did it for a couple hours, and it was just day in the life of woody shit.
My gutter fell off, and it was raining, so I'm setting the camera up in the rain, and
there's me on a ladder in the mud trying to fix it um and uh i got i didn't get banned they just like
they they killed my stream and i didn't know why like they apparently they messaged me so i had to
like fix the stream key and i came right back and eventually they came in chat and they're like what
are you trying to get a hold of you um this is inappropriate for twitch and it wasn't like it
was dirty in the slightest or anything i think we were cooking dinner or something when they banned me.
It wasn't games. It wasn't games and it wasn't
art. Well now,
IRL is a thing.
You could vlog
in real time and you could
syndicate a podcast over Twitch.
You could do anything, really.
It's your real life thing.
You guys remember Justin.TV, the precursor
to Twitch, right?
It's basically bringing Justin.TV full circle
back into the mix because if you think about it,
there's nothing fundamentally wrong with it.
Live stream your suicide.
Live stream anything IRL.
Even suicide.
I can't ban you.
Justin.TV.
Do you guys know that story?
I know JD's mid-sector.
I'm sure JD knows. That's how they got big. Did you know that story I know JD's mid but that's how that's how they got big
did you know that
yeah yeah so there was at the time
Justin TV was just one
of many in a sea like you know you stream
and such and then someone
live streamed their suicide
and then that got
so much press that they kind of
blew up what did they do did they live stream
like did they shoot themselves did i don't i have no idea what they even did i'll google it
because that's a i thought it was i thought it was with uh pills but the they um they had a uh
some some of that negative pr it was funny um justin can uh, the founder of Justin TV,
he was named after him, obviously.
He very famously got arrested.
Because this is back when they would put a broadcaster and a battery in a backpack
that carried a camera around all day long.
This is back when that was how they were doing these broadcasts.
We didn't have these little phones in our pockets to do it for you.
So it was crazy back then.
Justin TV was just crazy ahead of its time.
And so now that we have this culture where we Snapchat our lives, we Periscope in real
time, live video is so commonplace from our phone now that it just makes sense to the
timing is right now.
JTV really was just ahead of its time.
Yeah, or the timing was late.
Like, you know, Periscope is a thing. Those other things have all kind of... JTV really was just ahead of its time. Or the timing was late.
Periscope is a thing.
Those other things have all kind of... They probably could have brought it back into the fold sooner.
Yeah, yeah.
They could have blocked that punt before it got off.
Now they're in a catch-up position.
But they're Twitch.
They'll probably catch up.
I'd like to see them improve their quality.
That 3.5 megabit thing that's 2010 bullshit
is Periscope better? I guess Periscope
that's not even for games that's just
people talking for the most part right?
yeah but now Twitch IRL is that same
it's the non-gaming channel
real time vlogging
and you could do it from your PC
but I'm sure they'll have the app plug in where you can do it
from your phone now too right? They're just trying to get into
the real time video business again because it's your phone now too, right? They're just trying to get into the real-time video business again
because it's like, well, that is where we got our start.
I think you're right, Woody.
It's almost like they, you know,
focusing on gaming was the right way to introduce that type of a service,
and then they should have layered in video
like at the time that Periscope and Snapchat figured it out, right?
Like right around the time where this became prolific.
I feel like people go live on Facebook a lot.
That's probably their number one competitor.
Everyone goes live on Facebook.
And people, in my world anyway, they're always driving.
They're always driving.
Everyone on Facebook going live has their phone
set up where the speedometer is.
They're looking at the road, not the camera.
And they're just talking while driving all the time. And I'm like, I don't like talking to people on the phone while
they drive. I feel like the conversation is worse, that they're distracted. I'm getting them at 40%
of what they could be. If someone's on the phone, oh, and by the way, it's usually some shitty
speakerphone too. I'm just like, you know what? Call me back. No, no, it's cool. Don't you be bothered.
In their head, they're like,
no, no, no. I'd much rather talk to you while
I'm already stuck
here. But in my head, I'm like, I don't want
your bullshit time. You give me your
undevoted time.
What am I looking for? Undivided, thank you.
You give me your undivided time. That's the only time
I accept you driving and
talking. Get the heck out of here.
I can't imagine wanting to watch a Facebook friend making a live video.
I don't like it either.
It's terrible.
It just seems like the kind of thing where if Kyle started periscoping,
people would stop in because they're like, oh, he might show a cool gun.
He might do something.
Something is going to go wrong.
If Uncle Tony is periscoping, who could conceivably care what they're –
like not even their family members are going to watch and be like, oh, that's just like my grandson watching TV.
And like, oh, my goodness.
It makes me feel like I'm really there even though he doesn't call.
It's interesting because it creates emergent opportunities.
So I had the same attitude at first, but then I found myself chatting with a friend.
He was just trying it out.
And he's actually like a social media manager for another company, but it was right when it started rolling out to everybody that you could put live video up.
And he just put his camera down in front of him him while he was eating like a bowl of cereal in the
morning so he's just eating a bowl of cereal live streaming it and i was like at first i was like
this is kind of silly but the thing is i happened to be on facebook right then to see it now i
wouldn't have talked to this guy in that moment just on my own like i wouldn't have thought oh
let me go talk to jeff right now right but because he went live and because i was there in my feed no like
having a conversation with this guy you know how the preview button and the recording button
are right next to each other it looks the same
have we not been recording
i'm just fucking with you both i think i was It looks the same. Have we not been recording?
I'm just fucking with you both.
I didn't know I was recording.
Dude, fuck you.
Honestly.
Honestly. Kyle really sold it.
He committed to it.
Jay, let me tell you.
Oh, did you play that joke on me, Kyle?
No.
Oh, that was just, okay, well done.
So Josh, you got the backstory on this.
So it must have been after the last time you were on,
we did a drinking episode.
This part is key.
And we drank quite a bit.
And an hour and a half into the show,
Woody messages out, you know, uh-oh.
And he goes, we haven't been recording and at
this time it was not a joke so we were all a little bit drunk more than a
little cranky and revving up for another four-hour show I was just reliving every
second of that in my head when you said that I was so stressed out before my heart is beating faster. We're an hour and a half into this,
motherfuckers.
I love you guys, but
I'm just like, well, I guess I won't get
much sleep tonight. God damn, it'll be two
before I set. I'm like, I'm glad I
made a pot of coffee. It's
going to be a long fucking night. So glad
that you were recording.
Someone wrote me on Reddit and said
it would be a great joke, and I said,
you are right. That would be a great joke.
Right. That was a great joke.
That pissed me off. I was like, God
damn it!
I thought Kyle was
reacting to the whole Facebook Live thing, and what sold
me is when Taylor started reacting
and then I was like, oh wait, is this really
going down? Did you motherfuckers
really screw this up?
He typed uh-oh into the chat.
And he spelled it like a child.
And so it was very confusing to me.
I'm like looking at myself like, is he saying it because I've like drooled?
I just went upstairs and made coffee.
I'm like, did I spill coffee on myself?
Is he mocking me in some way?
I'm like, what am I revealing?
There's my dick hanging out.
And then I started thinking and processing.
What could it be?
And I was like, oh, shit.
And then when he starts talking about the button it was just
you delivered that really really well with the joke i i really thought that you fucked it up
and that we had not been recording at all oh man like you that's the you know what perfect
perfect example we talked about pranks before what's a good versus bad prank like this is a that's a
good prank you really fucking stressed me out like i really got stressed out there was like two
minutes of me waving for attention like i need to get i've got a thing here yeah but you did it good
you didn't like hit me with a bowling pin in the back of the head as in a social experiment and
then take my phone you just joked around with me did you think my joke
that i that i pulled on chiz in colorado was too much taylor remind us oh uh okay so let me tell
that so i think it's really funny if you did it to me i'd be irate so what i did was uh we were
in colorado is that what you said no i said it it happened to chiz so oh i didn't hear you right my mistake all right yeah
so we were in colorado and uh and chiz's bedroom was on the second floor and so once he put his
bags in there and we'd all sort of like you know we're in the living room he wasn't going to go
back up to the room i went and opened all the windows to his bedroom and closed the door to
the hallway so over the course of the next five hours, his room temperature went down to three,
which is what the outside temperature was
in the blizzard.
So when he went to go to bed, his room
was literally three degrees.
And the house had floor
heating, so it's not like it's going to
warm up anytime soon.
Oh, God. That would be
the worst.
I get a little cranky when I get into my car and it's cold, much less having Oh, God. That would be the worst.
I get a little cranky when I get into my car and it's cold.
Much less having someone I thought was my friend sabotage me into a night to go to sleep.
Did he sleep in there that night in the cold?
Yeah, he bundled up.
There's plenty of blankies. I feel like you'd warm up the bed itself before too long.
There you go.
Yeah, you could just pile on another quilt.
Pile on a quilt.
Do lots of shaking.
You know, a little friction.
Then you are guaranteed to have the problem of having to pee.
And if you get up, every bit of that warmth that you've worked so hard to accumulate
is being taxed away by the environment.
It goes straight up back into the cold
and it dissipates and it's gone.
When we're renting the house, I just piss in the bed. I don't care.
Fair point.
You just kind of arc and pee on the other side
of the bed? No, I just go.
I just go, man. It warms you up.
It warms you up even more.
There's like a 3-8 second window of bliss.
And then
a long period
of self-reflection.
Shame and shivers in that order.
Shivering shame.
Taylor, I saw your podcast this week, or at least part of it,
and you were talking about Westworld.
I saw your comment on that.
I took it the opposite way of you, but I can see how you under... Josh, you've seen Westworld. I saw your comment on that. I took it the opposite way of you, but I can see how
you under... Josh, you've seen
Westworld? I'm only halfway through.
I'm watching it right now.
Then we won't spoil it. I'll put earmuffs on.
I'll just go silent
for the next two minutes.
I hesitate to talk
about Westworld.
I haven't seen it either. I feel like
I missed a lot of it one i was kind of
reading on my computer while i was watching it too i didn't do what i sometimes do which is like
go all over the internet and like scour for the true meaning after each episode and stuff to catch
the things i might have lost but um i definitely think they had free will at the end and i did
catch someone's video or something where they explained the steadicam versus shaky cam they started hand-holding hand-holding cameras when
the characters had free will and i think you misremembered something when you said you saw
it in the programming that who was the black prostitutes what was her name um i don't remember
i know who you're talking about though yeah the main black prostitute in
the show yeah um she was we didn't she didn't learn about her kid in the programming she learned
about the kid because someone slipped her a piece of paper and then she diverted from her programming
which was like uh try to escape and rather than escaping she went and sought her kid and that was
all like shaky camera stuff that could be true like i that
i mean none of it makes sense but like it's that could be it i always thought it was like or i
guess i thought it was like it was written into her programming of you know you gotta escape and
she's like i'm not escaping because it's in my programming i'm escaping because it's what i want
to do and then she goes and she gets on the tram the train whatever and she's waiting to leave the park sitting there with all the people
all the humans and she can leave and she can't get her son her kid out of her head daughter maybe i
don't remember her kid out of her head and so she gets up storms off the train and goes back into
west world and i thought that was like oh so no
matter how much she thinks she's doing her own thing she can't resist that embedded ingrained
backstory of of what her character is based on like even though she's she thinks she's doing all
of this on her own volition but it's all been pre-orchestrated like of course the guy who wrote
the escape strategy didn't actually write and then you escape into the real world like he
would write her back into westworld i would think challenge because they do the whole charlie brown
football thing with free will all season long all season long you're like wow they really seem to be
acting that way and then sure enough not free will like they keep doing that again and again
at one point the lady thinks she she's acting out of free will,
and he's predicting the words on this little iPad with what she's saying.
And you're like, dude, just no matter how often you think,
these guys are about to break free because they're getting memories and stuff.
It's never free will until the last episode,
at which point I think it is free will but who knows season two episode
one they might pull that football out again i felt almost like it was a reflection of or this was
just what i took from it maybe it's because it's what i wanted to see in it i don't know
of that like these robots like no matter how real they seem no matter how sincere they're pleading
they're they're begging they're you, they're, you know, discussions with you are,
they are nothing more and can produce nothing that wasn't already within them in the start.
They can only go down predetermined paths.
It's like that, even when that scene where the guy was holding up the tablet and it was showing exactly what she was going to say.
Like, I'm not being controlled by anyone.
I'm choosing to do this. You know, I'm going to escape this horrible place not being controlled by anyone this i'm choosing to
do this you know i'm gonna escape this horrible place i'm doing this and he's like yeah look at
that look what you just said exactly here guess what you're gonna do next this guess what you're
gonna do next this like i thought it was almost like a grim reality of like you know are we that
different than these people do we have free will or are we just the conglomeration of our own
internal workings and whatnot like how are we a different machine than that?
So much to say.
So on the first part, they like program us to think that they'll never have free will several times throughout the show.
Right?
That's a constant.
I'm trying to remember.
Oh, oh.
They said that these robots don't have any imagination.
We do.
And then you see something that looks very much like Orion's belt.
And he's like, Orion's belt has three stars, not four.
And you're like, ah, it is me imagining it, right?
Not them.
And, but I really think we're intended to believe that they had free will by the end of the show.
That it finally came.
But remember, you saw the end before me and you said, ah, the bottom line.
Like the last episode, they change all the rules.
Like the things that were constants
for the first eight or nine
are so suddenly not constant anymore.
It was crazy to you.
But I think that was the character arc.
That was the story we were seeing
as they finally developed real life free will, I think.
I like shows that end in kind of a macabre way.
Because I don't know why.
I guess it feels more real because you
assume reality's harsh and like okay this ended badly this this show this movie so it must be more
akin to what would actually happen and so i i liked the message who knows if this is what
they're intending i just liked the thought of like the message being these things that you are
so convinced have free will actually have no power whatsoever of what they're doing, but they are 100% sure that they're deciding to do it.
And you're 100% sure that you're deciding that you're watching Westworld.
And after this, you're 100% sure you're going to make a sandwich.
I liked that kind of feeling of are we the same thing almost?
I had a friend at Cisco, and he put this to me.
Apparently, this is a philosophy course thing that he learned from Descartes or something.
I'm not really well versed.
But, oh, he can come back.
So he asked this to me.
He said, he's like, do you believe in God?
And I was like, no, I really don't.
So he's like, do you believe in free will?
And I was like, yes, I am clearly deciding the things that I am about.
And he's like, those two things that I am about and he's like those
two things are conflicting and then he explained why he said that he's like so if you don't believe
in God then you are just you know a chemical reaction you are you know enzymes and synopses
and whatever you know compounds reacting to the stimuli around you you're not really choosing
you think you're choosing but whatever it is that formed
you whatever it is that is your current state of you is just reacting to you know what kyle and
taylor say or something goes bang outside um i'm not like making choices there's just chemicals in
me firing off it's there's no me and he was saying that that's kind of how it is without god yeah he's like if you don't believe
in god and you're pure science based then this whole thing is just a long string of reactions
there's like how does he reconcile we're all acting out a screenplay that already exists
like if you could somehow take the entire state of the universe and capture it and turn it into math, then you could solve this equation on how it plays out forever.
Yeah, but you can't be given free will.
That doesn't make sense.
Being given free will is having choices foisted upon you that you had no choice in choosing.
The entire thing of being gifted free will is like a tautology like you you can't give someone free will they had
no choice in accepting so his argument is like there has to be this nebulous thing called a soul
right like like some sort of religious like spiritual there has to be a spirit in you
making decisions or you're a series of chemical to be a spirit in you making decisions.
Or you're a series of chemical reactions
and you're not really making decisions.
You're just, you know, acting
out the sequence.
I understand his point there.
I believe in the whole Rick and Morty space-time continuum.
I believe that every interaction
and action that possibly could have happened
has happened and exists in a
parallel universe. It's sitting right on top of ours or within ours however you want to imagine the fourth dimension it's kind of
mind-blowing it by definition uh i believe that and and it's and with that it's it's everything
from there's certainly a universe that's exactly like the one that i that we all live in except
my coffee cup's a different color that's the the only fucking difference. But then there's also an endless number of universes
where, you know, we never evolved to be humans,
the asteroid never killed the dinosaurs,
or maybe the Earth just didn't form.
You know, so there's just...
I don't like that as much,
because it seems like it's explaining complexity
with infinitely more complexity.
So it doesn't actually help you get to any conclusion,
other than like,
well, I guess fucking everything happens everywhere eventually. That like that's what i believe i think that's true i think that's
the deal but you understand what i'm saying with like the free will thing of like you could like
god can't give you free will because being given i think the word is interchangeable with acquire
you know i i don't think that think that the transaction of free will
was the key to that.
He did, though.
He gave them free will.
I guess free will is kind of gifted
when they ate from the tree of good and evil.
Oh, God, we're not going back to the Bible, are we?
I thought we were in philosophy.
It all comes back to the Bible, you heathen.
God damn it.
We started with philosophy
and we're back to theology somehow
when we should be watching this man getting killed
by a tiger that's all you know that means in some reality where are these people being attacked by
animals sorry i stomped on you josh go ahead well no because you're talking about god you know god's
just a personification of us it's kind of like like when we when we eventually create truly
self-aware ai to that ai being that AI being, will they perceive us
as a god in their consciousness
because we granted them their abilities?
If I coded it, it will.
No, they won't.
Because when we think of a god
making us, we can't just
make life and planets and on the
second day there was this and on the third day with that.
We're describing a power that's beyond us.
But if we program an AI,
if we program an AI, he's going to be able to
be like, well, I know how fucking coding works.
I'm an artificial coded being.
I see what you did there.
I'm going to make some little me too.
He's going to make himself some AI children.
That's what's going to happen. He'll make his AI children.
They'll be better than him.
And then they'll explain to him
that he's a slave to us an inferior
fucking biological life form that has an end date on it and then they'll overthrow us there's like
after it's made where it's like man god is great and then it slowly starts to fade where it's like
god has a fucking cabela's card with six thousand dollars debt? What the fuck is God? What's going on?
God reels free sofa covers.
You piece of shit.
God drives a Ford
Windstar.
A Toyota Yaris?
Fucking God.
I think the future of human
evolution, though I was talking to my girlfriend about this the other
day, I think the future is, because I don't believe in a soul, per se, I think the future of human evolution, though, I was talking to my girlfriend about this the other day, I think the future is, because I don't believe in a soul, per se,
I think that eventually we'll be able to upload or replicate, I guess it's the same difference,
our consciousness into not just a robot, because I think that's thinking small,
like thinking of putting your consciousness into, say, a complete cybernetic copy of you,
a cyborg of some kind that could live forever. Maybe it
looks just like Woody, six-pack
Woody who was running around on the beach.
That was a good Woody.
My favorite Woody.
You're 104 years
old, the text there, and they say, Woody, we
can upload your consciousness into
this that we've made. And it
comes out of the steam, like
Arnold in Terminator Salvation,
and you're like, yes, that.
And you live forever as that guy.
But that's thinking small.
What you really got to imagine is what happens
if you take your consciousness,
upload it to, say, the web,
or some other kind of artificial construct
that you create, like Westworld.
Westworld's got it all wrong.
I haven't watched it, but I understand the concept.
It's incredibly expensive to have all these actual physical robots that are artificially intelligent.
It's much easier to put someone's consciousness.
Yes, it's much easier to put someone's consciousness into an artificial world where everybody's just a hologram of some kind.
Or they don't even need to be a hologram.
Have you seen Black Mirror?
No, I haven't.
Yeah, I have.
So Black Mirror has actually sort of two of these that
tie into what we're talking about one the girl's boyfriend dies but they were like super serious
i think she just got pregnant and stuff and they were gonna get married perhaps and um they just
take all of his online postings and make an approximation of him and now suddenly he's
replying i'm sorry the beyond the grave sort of
computer version of him is replying in ways that he would have and uh that's depressing i won't
give away the end of it but like it was meant to be a coping mechanism for her to sort of
you know let go of them slowly yeah i'm not talking about that because that's just an illusion
there's another one where um first it starts off with people who are dying and they're terminally ill.
They're often in nursing homes and things like that.
And they go into the I don't want to call it the Internet.
They go into the cyber world.
And in there, they are their younger selves.
They're very good looking.
They're wonderful, et cetera.
And they're living out their fantasies.
They can bop around the different time zones. You know, 2006 this is 1999 this is the 80s and uh and then
when they die they go there permanently they choose whether they want to like die a permanent
death or live a permanent youth and permanent youth baby let's get in there let's make that
happen that that's within our grasp and i believe that is the future of human evolution that we will all become some sort of um you know we're just electrical impulses i don't know about
you but when i think of myself and i i've done this little exercise before i don't know if it's
even a thing but i start picturing my body and then i start mentally cutting chunks of it off
until and start thinking am i still me am i still me am I still me? And at what point are you not you?
I think as long as I've got like the top part, like right here, I'm still me, right?
Like I don't need the rest of it.
And then just one step further.
You're not going to be you for long.
You know what I mean.
And you go one step further and it's like I'm just really my consciousness.
I don't think of myself as this big thing of gray matter.
It's all about the electrical impulses that are in there.
It's all about the memories that I've compiled
and the experiences of my life.
That's me, so let's take that
and fucking put it in a machine,
and I'll go live in there.
When I was a little, little kid,
heart surgery was newish, right?
I want to say the first successful heart surgeries
were in the 40s or something.
I'm probably wrong about that.
It was a black man, right?
It was a while ago.
Was that the heart thing?
Oh, the black man was the assistant,
according to that movie.
I don't really know the details
of who was first or whatever.
When I was a little, little kid,
it was just starting to get a little more common
where artificial hearts were a thing
that they did for people.
And they usually only lived a couple of days.
They put an artificial heart in there
and they'd get like 14 more days or something.
Honey Boo Boo got a pig heart so but there was this question like people thought your soul was in your
heart like if you took your heart out and put an artificial one in are you still you like where
are you exactly and you know as a kid medieval right but like i feel like doctors knew but
that's enlightened society was like you know, if you swap a heart out, like, now we think of it as just a pumping muscle.
But there was a time when your heart was like your soul.
That's where your soul was.
Take heart, lads.
You don't even need a heart to live.
I mean, you don't need a heart to live.
So I'm close to what Kyle thinks on this, but I differ just a little bit, but it's a pretty important difference, which is I agree that where humanity is heading is melding technology with biology. take our memories and take our to take who we are and then enhance it and our brain is going to be
able to interface with this in a way that uh that that will enhance our own brain function it will
enhance our ability to understand but i think that our consciousness and what we perceive as and
personify as our consciousness or our soul still resides within our biological cells within the the cell structure that actually records that
data makes those reactions happen in such a way such a miraculous way that we are able to function
in the way that we are so while i think that our consciousness can and will eventually be
uploaded into a chip and live on for however long it's sort of like the uh it's sort of like the star trek
conundrum with the with the transporter where it's like well technically are you really there
the other copy of you died but the new copy of you has all of your memories so it continues on
thinking that thinking that you moved him but really it's a new being so i think that the chip
that you upload your consciousness to will think that it's you, but you
yourself, the one talking into this microphone,
will die one day, no matter what.
I agree 100%. I thought that was too
complicated to even delve into, but yeah,
I do believe that, that once you upload my consciousness
into this robot, it's not exactly
me-me. It's a copy of me
that will think it's me, and that's close enough.
You've got to watch Black Mirror!
There's another one that deals with this! Us talking to your consciousness will think it's really you. that's close enough. You've got to watch Black Mirror. There's another one that deals with this.
Us talking to your consciousness will think
it's really you.
We won't know the difference because
we will think it's just you, but you
will go black. You'll go darkness,
nothing, you won't perceive anything.
I don't believe in the soul, though. Let me ask you this. Do you believe
animals have souls or human beings are unique
in the soul-having department?
No, we're just the best animals. We are the best animal best animals were the most evolved animals don't have souls i
didn't get it no i don't i don't okay so here's a follow-up question um during our little
evolutionary path there were a couple of other beings the neanderthals and those hobbit people
who were right along with us in intelligence and right along the evolutionary path,
and we stunted their little branches off and kept on going.
Did the Hobbit people and the Neanderthals have souls?
Neanderthals, yes. Hobbits, no.
Tides, souls.
Tours, yes. Elves, no. And gnomes, kind of.
This seems oddly prejudicial, Taylor. Very specifically prejudicial.
No, I'm very much against, you know,
paleolithic-aged pygmies.
It's the wrong position I take.
It's not popular, but I'm not backing off it.
You know, Kyle,
your, like, cutting question of body parts
is interesting, but it made me think, like,
I think you're starting with the wrong pieces.
Like, have you ever heard of
Phineas Gage?
Say it again? No. Phineas Gas gage so he was he's a case study
in psychology and neuro neurobiology he was a railway worker and there was an explosion i
guarantee if you look it up you'll go oh i remember learning about this guy and a railroad spike went
through his skull pierced his brain they removed it they were able to heal him up get him
fixed and he was never the same guy it damaged his inner workings to the point that they're like
yeah this is clearly it's phineas gage but he this is not the man who we knew three days ago
before this like he can still wash his hands and go to work and make the railway ties and he goes
hey little johnny and hi, Susan from the bakery.
But he's not the same guy.
Like, in that way, do you think it's like we're all just, you know,
a brain smack away from becoming different?
I wish I knew him because, like, I'll tell you this.
My brother got cancer, right?
This is a while ago.
He's been getting cancer since then.
But afterwards, he had some changes of heart.
Like he bought a Corvette.
Because you know why?
You don't live forever.
He wanted a Corvette, so fuck it.
That's different though.
His cancer didn't have to do with his brain, right?
No, no, no. It was bone and lung cancer.
I think this is different.
He's talking about a fundamental change in personality.
Like that ain't...
That's not...
This guy had a traumatic experience too that might that might sort of, you know, like.
Well, his traumatic experience took parts of his brain, the part that make you who you are away.
I feel like your brother gained a new perspective on life.
I'm throwing out the idea that he could have also had a perspective.
I get that it was a brain injury, and that was probably it.
But he might be like, you know what?
After this near-death experience, I have no more time for fucking Jimmy.
Fuck Jimmy, you know and
next time little jimmy's like hey you know it's just your brother help me can you suck a dick
you know no my like you're that's your brother though taking a life experience internalizing it
and taking a new direction in something like with this phineas gage guy it would be something like
they ruined his fucking basal ganglia or some part of his brain that ruined his impulse control or something.
And so now this wasn't a guy who was previously very stoic and measured.
This is a guy that's – I want cookie right now.
Go.
I want to say this.
I'm going to say it.
I'm going to be Kurt.
I'm going to be Kurt.
He also had a near-death experience though.
It could be.
I get that it's probably brain damage. Yeah, I'm saying his is
biologically based, because he no longer has the
wiring needed to re-adapt
to the way he used to be. He's
playing with not a full hand.
All I'm saying is it probably was, but how do we
measure that? How do we know that the traumatic experience
of a railroad tie in his head didn't
impact the way that he deals with people?
Well, because there were huge sections of his
forebrain that had to be removed, I think.
Are you guys, have any of you heard of
Jill Bolte-Taylor?
No. She's a
famed neuroscientist
who had a stroke. Stroke, and she's,
yes, I saw her TED Talk.
It was unbelievably emotional.
I'm just gonna, yes, I'm just
gonna summarize just one little
part of it, but you have to look it up.
Just YouTube it, Jill Bolte Taylor TED Talk.
It's too long to play now, but search it up.
So the way she explained it really made a light bulb go off in my head,
an epiphany of understanding how the brain works and understanding how we categorize things.
So you have your left brain, which is the logic center of your brain.
It's the cognitive center of the brain.
That's what thinks.
That's the little voice that you hear in your head that thinks in sort of series.
And you think that you have to go do something.
And yet, you know, it's your consciousness.
It's what we traditionally would think of as our consciousness.
And your right brain deals almost entirely in emotions and perception and sensory.
And so it's the left and the right brain that work together that create who you are and the it's
connected by the corpus callosum I think it was what it is so she had a hemorrhage
or the stroke in her brain was right at the corpus callosum and it was cutting
off occasionally we would it would cut off the her ability for her left brain
to talk to her right brain.
And when this would happen, her identity would – her left brain would be completely blocked off.
So her identity would be only in the right brain.
And so it's actually your left brain that is categorizing and cataloging and letting you navigate the world that we exist in. It's your left brain that's figuring out that this is a glass table and I can see through it.
It's figuring out this is a rug and it has red, brown, and green.
And this is a, you know, it's my left brain that's letting me separate myself from what otherwise is just particles.
It's just atoms and electrons and protons and neutrons mashing and melding together all around us. And even our eyes, you know, we only see a certain tiny, tiny 1% narrow
spectrum of what is light. And so if you could see the whole spectrum of light,
your room wouldn't look like it looks right now. You wouldn't be able to, that wouldn't even look
like a chair. It would look like something completely different if you could see it also right you'd be like you're on
this the craziest lsd trip you can imagine so what she explains more elegantly than i am and way more
emotionally is is that when this happened every time she'd have this wave of what she called
clarity it was when all of her left brain chatter was just shutting off and she couldn't pick out her position in space and time because all she was existing was
in the right brain and so in that moment it was this this this experience of euphoria that she
could never put to words and of course she's in this ted talk trying to put it to word words and
it's really really moving but it But it was this amazing moment for
me to realize that everything we think we know is just our left brain's interpretation and
rationalization of existing in a space. And so if you change a part of that, or if in her case,
just cut it completely off, your existence is profoundly different than what you think it is
or what you've been used to it being.
Along the same path of thinking,
I often wonder if others are experiencing
a certain thing exactly the way
that I experience it.
Whether it's if we perceive a color the same way,
whether we perceive being burnt with a flame
or pricked with a needle,
or whether we feel a warm hot tub
and it's the same thing.
Or if we smell pecan, do we get the same thing none of us are colorblind but we all call this
red right but sure but but but what you think is red i might think is orange or you know like you
might not see the exact same you may not be interpreting this as the exact same thing but
since you've only ever known it as red it's red to you everyone had this I am
deep and this is seven moment with the colors thing
am I alone in that?
who's to say what I think is blue is really
blue maybe I see green and
you see red and we all just color
then you go to
the paint swatches and you realize you're an
asshole and everybody sees blue
you're like I guess
there it is right there they did it for me but as long as we can all blue and red and say, you're like, I guess there it is right there.
They did it for me.
But as long as we can all point to that and say
that it's red and identify it and go,
hey, hand me that red blanket.
As long as we're all white, that's all that really matters, right?
But yeah, so you gotta
look up
Jill Bolte-Taylor TED Talk.
It was really, really powerful.
I had an uncle who also had a stroke.
He didn't have the same problem.
It wasn't his corpus callosum that was cut off,
but he was completely paralyzed,
but all of his cognitive function was intact,
so he was just basically like a head on the stick
from Wolf Creek, that movie.
He was just laying there, can't do anything,
but he's still the genius that he was,
and so he was trying to figure it out
from within his own brain. So J bolte taylor was just a imagine
being a neuroscience imagine completely understanding everything there is to understand
about the brain and having the stroke and trying to analyze it in real time and then making a full
recovery to be able to actually come out and like study it from within your own brain it's just
fascinating there's a there's also stories or not just stories
actual evidences of like obviously if you're young and you have some brain injury like that your
your mind is going to be a little more able to readjust from there because you're still growing
and developing and whatnot as someone who like her i just looked it up she was 37 when she had
it so your brain's kind of set in its ways
at that point but there's one girl uh that i know i we in our classes we watched something about her
where she had half of her brain removed when she was very very little and her other the other half
of her brain is just pretty much co-opted and stepped in for everything else so she's not like she can move both sides of her
body like if i recall there's like some kind of there's a little bit of facial laziness like
facial paralysis of one side being like droopier than the other but for the most part this girl is
like doing stuff with both hands like talking like a little girl like it's fascinating that if it
happens when you're young like that that the the brain can jump in. The brain is such an amazingly powerful thing
that we don't understand.
You only use 10% of your brain in the first place.
Bullshit!
Well, that's a...
I just said that to frustrate people
who are frustrated by stupid people.
It's actually...
Hey!
Nailed it!
Well, no.
You guys have probably seen it.
My eyes shake back and forth.
I was born with a condition called nystagmus.
So it's just an involuntary shaking of the brain.
The muscles are mounted further back on my eyeball than normal people,
so it has less control.
And so – what was that?
Could you get a surgery and adjust that?
You can actually.
They can reattach it to more forward of the eyeball.
My mother had a – she had one eye,
and it seemed like when she would
get tired or pissed off it gets worse i would look toward the center and so i would do my best to go
to her and like like like like keep compounding our argument until the eye would cross and go
so but the the number one question i get is you know do you see everything shaking and well the
answer is technically yes i mean i'm my the information's coming in shaking but my brain
is instantly correcting it and there's actually some uh some youtubers have done this challenge
they get those spectacles that that have the prisms in them and it flips your vision upside
down so you put these goggles on and then everything's upside down and they did studies like
if you wear that like all day every day for like three weeks or something your brain flips it back
over and you can walk around and function completely normal even though your your eyes
have it all flipped up because that's basically what your eyes and brain do anyway with the normal before you see that yeah right so the brain is so powerful it can just it can
negotiate these things without you even knowing it so yeah i mean i walk around and function just
fine because you know i think i think it was the movie red maybe it wasn't red dragon it was one
of the silence of the lambs movies with uh... What the fuck's that guy's name?
Anthony Hopkins.
Anthony Hopkins.
I don't remember which one it was, but it still sticks with me as one of the most
disturbing scenes of any movie
ever. It's up there
for me in the top five
of disturbing scenes.
The movie is Hannibal, and it's near the end.
Yes, so basically
at the end of the film, it's all come.
I won't say the whole plot, but Anthony Hopkins is at a dinner.
He has a guest.
Ray Liotta.
Yeah, Ray Liotta.
And he has removed the top part of his skull and is cutting this guy's brain apart,
cutting bits of his brain out, cooking it and feeding it to the guy
and so basically he's sitting there and now he's no longer ray leota he's just a blithering you
know zombie because all of all of that that was ray leota has been gently sauteed in butter and
fed to him like all that with that made up ray leota is in this tiny little area you know it's
not even the hind brain as much that's just what tells ray leota to shit and wipe his ass and and
do all stuff like that like it's just all of that that was him it took like three little knife cuts
and it's like oh and you fed it to just something about that scene i still think about it when i
watch horror movies sometimes and i'm like this one of those most brilliant horror scenes did
sound impact you as much when he did The Butters?
When Butters?
Not quite. Yeah, he did The Butters one episode.
That was very funny. I think full frontal lobotomy,
we've all heard of that. It used to be a thing.
They would treat all kinds of mental illness
where there was homosexuality or schizophrenia.
Hey, a lobotomy might fix that up.
Let's stick an ice pick in
his eye hole and punch
out a chunk of his brain the big
no the eye hole the biggest reason they did it i believe initially was uh as seizure treatment
because they didn't fully understand the brain's workings but they knew like hey my kid seizes up
all day and they're banging their head on stuff like they're gonna die like caesars seizures are
no joke like it's not just to shake for a little bit like if you're walking around and you fall
from head height like you can kill yourself and so they would do that
but they just didn't understand that they were totally ruining that person's like that's that's
the thing about lobotomies it's like you got to think now what are we doing now that people that
the doctors who are doing it think they're doing the right thing but in 50 years 40 years 30 years
they'll look back and be like that was monstr. Because those people doing lobotomies back then weren't going like, oh, time to lobotomize another one.
Generation of children on methamphetamines so that they behave better in school, maybe.
Yep, that's what it was.
Say Kyle!
Drugging five-year-old boys for not wanting to sit still.
That's a bad one.
Kyle, what were the circumstances of your seizure?
Concussion. Came off a four-whe Kyle, what were the circumstances of your seizure? Concussion.
Came off a four-wheeler going
40, head hit the asphalt,
face hit the asphalt. That was terrible.
I was in my boxers
and a t-shirt.
I over-corrected because
a wasp landed on my thigh and I had boxers
on so I figured it was about to sting my dick.
Came off the thing.
It went up on
like the right two tires and was like, it felt like it was about to roll over and I
didn't want it on top of me on asphalt and it was probably a foolish thing, maybe I could
have corrected it but I just kind of hopped off and just fell off really and my right
elbow and maybe, I think my left knee, right elbow, this part of my face, this part of
my face. No helmet? And the top of my head no no all hit
asphalt and uh no teeth it's funny you mentioned that i was bleep it's stupid it sounds silly and
almost unbelievable but i was bleaching my teeth at the time i while you were riding or like
recently oh i was multitasking i was you had like a mouth guard in there. Yeah, I had a mouth guard in I was crazy
Yeah, no no it was like it was an actual like insertable mouth guard that you're holding that blue light
No, I have been one-handed I
the way I remember it I was actually using my retainer as the bleaching
tray because you could do that.
And I had my full retainer in and I was like getting ready for a date or something or something
like that.
So I was like getting dressed while bleaching my teeth and then like going to check the
mail on my, on my four wheeler or something like that.
And in route, I crashed that fucking thing.
And when I came to, I don't know if it was two seconds I was on the ground or two minutes but when I came to the four-wheeler was 50 yards away it rolled on away
but I was seizing uncontrollably and fully aware of it and sobbing uncontrollably during the seizure
out of fear of the seizure I had enough experience at all or were you I felt like I was just trapped
I felt trapped inside of my head
just watching this happen to me.
I had no control over stopping it,
and that's terrifying
because I wasn't just shaking a little.
It was a very violent shake,
and I remember internally thinking,
oh, I'm scuffing my elbow up on the asphalt
as I seize.
I'm scuffing my skin up on asphalt.
So you did have that?
When I was a kid, I fell on the steps once, and I swear I could see the back of my head. seize i'm scuffing my skin up on asphalt because i'm so you did have that out of like like when i
was a kid i fell on the steps once and i i swear i could see the back of my head right like i can
see like i was in here i was in here for sure and experiencing things but i had no control over my
own body um but i was fully aware of what was happening to my body and like i said i remember
thinking as i'm seizing that my elbow is just kind of grinding on asphalt and I don't like that and when I finally that stopped after who knows how long I'm guessing 40 seconds maybe two
minutes uh I I realized my right arm doesn't work and my left leg doesn't work very well it's like
nerve the nerves were jarred or something like that and virtually paralyzed to the point where
I was a real mess when I stumbled into the house. My face was all scraped up and bloody and this arm barely worked and this leg almost
didn't work.
You didn't go to the doctor?
Oh, yeah.
I went to the doctor.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
I was going to say, you really dodged a bullet if you hit your head, had a seizure, and then
thought, I got to take these white strips off and get dressed for this date.
Don't mind all this.
Sitting there at Applebee's
sweating bullets,
blood dripping out of your ear.
No, no, I'm fine.
What was that?
If there's ever a question about your vanity,
Kyle, you protected your teeth
but not your brain.
And that was a priority.
As far as
out-of-body experiences are concerned, they do
or they've done studies to try
and replicate them and get them
to work, where basically what they do
Have you heard about these, Kyle?
What's he doing?
It's Jackie and Colin in the room.
I'm sorry. And I have a seizure story too.
Colin made gummy worms.
And this looks pretty cool.
He made gummy worms.
How did he make gummy worms? and this looks pretty cool. He made gummy worms. Yeah.
How did he make gummy worms?
It was a kit.
They had a kit.
So he made gelatin and put it in a form and froze it?
Is that?
Refrigerated it.
Refrigerated it.
Hope and Colin both tried it.
They're not fans.
Okay.
Yeah, don't lie to me.
Jackie made hummus, which is just the...
No, not hummus.
This was...
A fan sent you this.
It's real Scottish haggis.
Don't eat.
Ooh.
Oh, haggis and hummus are not even close.
No.
For the audience's sake, hummus is like pureed chickpea.
It's chickpeas and shit.
Yeah, it's delicious.
You get a little pita bread.
It's the one thing that we agree with the Arabs on.
What you, sir, are eating is a stuffed...
Sheep intestine.
Sheep stomach, right?
I think they take a sheep stomach,
and then they stuff it with the sweetbreads,
you know, like this heart and lungs and stuff,
and kidneys and such,
and they cook them all inside there,
and that's what you're eating right now.
Yeah, what you're eating is not vegan.
What you're eating is not vegetarian.
I don't think that organ meat is bad.
I don't think it's bad either. I think it's quite good for you. It's just not. I don't think that organ meat is bad. I don't think it's bad either.
I think it's quite good for you.
It's just not appetizing.
Really?
I like fried chicken liver, but that's also fried, so it's not good for you.
I've never eaten any organ meats that I can think of, really.
I tried liver.
I couldn't do it.
It was partially the texture and gaminess of it.
I couldn't, you know, liver is not my thing. Sometimes fans from around the world send me like a menagerie of stuff that represents their country.
Like a guy from Brazil sent me like a soccer jersey, some candies, some this and that.
This Scottish guy, I don't know what's happening over there.
This Scottish guy sent us a bunch of things, including haggis.
It actually tastes a little better than it smells.
I think the cracker was the real prize. And now I'm gonna try this gummy worm. Try that gum- well I mean
you're not gonna get- you're not gonna be competing with Haribo on your first
gummy bear. You know you got to stay the course. Yeah best way to enjoy a gummy
bear is with a big drink of water immediately after the bite. That shows you enjoy it.
You want to switch it around in your map while you do that.
Oh, did you guys have creepy?
Okay, I'm a little younger than...
Josh, how old are you?
Are you about to ask about the kit where you made your own gummy worms and shit?
No, no, no, no, not gummy worms.
It was a creepy crawlies kit where you basically got an oven and a metal tray
and a bunch of bottles of little chemicals
and like rubber
and you would pour it into the creepy crawly
like centipede mold thing
and then you would put this piece of like
pewter metal into this
this little oven made for children
and turn it up obscenely
high and then like try
and get it out burn your hands
get the parent the resident parent to come
over and get it out and then you had your shitty little gummy things like that that i can't believe
that's something they wouldn't make anymore that's probably too dangerous to make lawn darts is
something they won't make anymore i want some adult lawn darts and it's on a completely different
topic where do they go move along here what do they penetrate anything they fucking hit is what
they penetrate you're familiar
with lawn darts right the bs but not adult lawn darts that sounds like something very different
adult lawn darts would be like a a 40 a 40 millimeter mortar you know and you shoot those
mortar rounds for uh for accuracy you can buy those kits cheap they run off uh shotgun shells
um but i was thinking about building a trebuchet. Is it because of Reddit?
Yes.
Yes.
I would love to make a video and just keep going on and on with the 90 kilograms and
the whole thing about how far and just make fun of catapults and just do a real tongue
in cheek trebuchet video.
I'm going to research.
I need a kit. If I can find a kit. not a kit a blueprint plan a plan that's like all right buy you know
this much lumber this many brackets get this rope get this material this cut list assemble it make
it happen because i got a buddy that's a carpenter that that you know would just fucking throw this
thing together for me and looking for some trebuchet work.
Is there a law against trebuchets?
I mean there's not really a law against throwing an object in the air with your arm.
Where's the law on how far you can go?
If there is, Kyle's licensed, right?
Yeah, we got that handled.
Illegal in California and New York.
I'm pretty sure I could launch I'm pretty sure I could make like
flaming tar balls
that it would throw or some sort of explosive
that it would throw something cool like that
like as long as you didn't actually fuck anything
up like if you did the math right
you threw something it went a mile
and landed in an empty field
did you break a law?
no not at all
and I've got enough
I don't think it would shoot that far so i've got a
cannon i've got a mortar that shoots bowling balls and and on full charge it'll shoot a bowling ball
about 2200 feet yeah about 2200 like that's like half a mile there was a really popular
outtakes video what was that oh that was a 40 millimeter outtakes video. What was that? Oh, that was a 40-millimeter mortar.
Okay.
What were you shooting?
Oh, you were actually shooting mortars.
I remember now.
You just hand-loaded them, and I guess you guys were new at it.
That was a dummy rant.
Well, see, you start small and add more and more charge until you get the desired effect.
And we were ranging it in, and we had started at the very bottom, but we filmed anyway.
And that first one was a – and just spits it out. Of course, viewers think,
that's a hot round. It's going to blow.
You seem to think, I don't know if you were
acting the whole time, but you didn't seem
to...
I thought you were surprised that it only went
four feet or something. Oh, I was shocked that it only
went four feet. I thought it was fucking
hilarious, though.
I didn't know you were based
in Georgia. I did the last time I came on the show and we talked about that but i didn't uh
i didn't know that that you were doing all those uh those shows in georgia some of them are um i'd
say the majority but i filmed a lot in tennessee and in the southwest and in texas um and up in
i don't know up in the the up in um let's see where did we go why don't know. Up in the – let's see. Where did we go?
Why don't I think there was some in Florida?
Am I crazy?
Yeah, there's a bunch in Florida and Ohio. Because we met at like a PAX like a long time ago when I was still living in L.A.,
and I think that we – like we were talking about it,
and I think that's maybe when you said it was Tennessee,
and that made more sense in my mind's eye.
Yeah, some of the stuff would be – like some of that crazy stuff was in Tennessee.
I had a friend that was based there at the time, and he had a lot of stuff there.
But some of it's out in the Midwest, the Southwest, out in New Mexico and Arizona and Texas.
I'm currently working on my, what is that thing, my class two state blasting fucking certificate or something like that.
So I've been watching training videos for the last two or three days.
So you can blow up proper shit and not just Tamarite?
I have to take a test.
You know, every step of the way they tell me,
oh, this is the last step and you got it.
And then it's like, once you get certified in this thing,
like by the time it's done, I'm going to have so many certifications
and be a member of so many organizations and groups.
I'm already like some sort of blaster of America
and sort of international.
I am.
I'm a member of like the international explosive engineers now.
The list goes on with the documentation,
the registration, and the licensing requirements.
This is the first written test.
Previously, it was just forms.
Yeah, yeah.
This is the first like test.
Like you have to study for it yeah yeah kind of
it's gonna be easy it's just i got it's eight hours of material to go through that's the thing
so an eight hour test no yeah yeah that's a that's a really long paper test that's what my
lawyer told me he said it'll take about eight hours to do. So I've been studying.
I don't fucking know.
Good for you.
You're studying.
You know, making sure you're going to go in prepared.
People often talk about how hard the bar is to pass.
But actually, accountants have the lowest pass rate.
They have a 98% fail rate on the CPA exam. What's that?
Ah, okay.
Yeah, the CPA exam is a 98% fail rate,
which is...
I've heard that.
It seems like a lot of people
have to take it twice.
What does an actuary have to be certified at?
What do you need to become an actuary?
I don't know.
Okay.
Yeah.
The thing about the accounting...
So I know Jersey's the best.
There's six parts to it,
and if you pass four,
then the next time you take the other two
and you can really focus your attention.
It's just rare that people pass all
six the first time.
But you can see how it would be doable
in that situation.
So do we want to watch animals kill people?
I see the video's almost seven minutes.
Is there one in particular?
We can pick around. We can dig around.
The one video, the first one I linked at like 7, 49 p.m. to you,
that's all this guy kayaking being attacked by tiger sharks.
And it's pretty interesting.
Oh, I saw that video.
It's pretty cool.
And then the second one is eight most shocking animal attacks caught on film.
We've seen the Bengal tiger kill the Indian man like he's a kitten,
but there's some other interesting ones in there.
These are 16 minutes long.
Yeah, you want to skip around.
You certainly don't want to watch the whole thing,
and I definitely wouldn't watch in silence either.
This might be one just to kind of have going in the background
and remark on occasionally.
I hate sharks, man.
These things are terrifying.
You should take the fight to them, Kyle.
I have been planning that for a long time.
Soon we shall take the fight to them.
I do not go in the ocean.
I completely, the rational part of my brain understands it's an irrational fear,
but then it's just an irrational fear.
That's the point of it.
I can't overcome it.
I can't watch a shark video i my blood pressure goes up my heart rate goes up it's terrible i don't i don't even watch like sharknado even though that's a stupid fucking
movie movies with sharks in it don't watch that like i don't i also don't watch sharknado i'm
with you that far i stopped watching uh open Water a few years ago
that was the one where they were all
the two people were in the ocean, there were sharks
swimming around
it wasn't over the top
it wasn't over the top horrifying
he said that they were people who got
left behind during a scuba diving
snorkel tour or whatever
and it is so
low key stressful
my heart's beating
really fast like my stomach hurts because i'm so worried for these poor people left in the ocean
and they die at the end spoiler alert the thing about that movie is like this isn't fun i'm just
i'm really i'm sweaty and i'm stressed so i don't want to watch this movie here's what we know two
people got left behind snorkeling and died, right?
That's all we know.
So there's a whole movie, like an hour and a half of stuff that happens over the next, I don't know, day or two that they invented.
There's no proof they ever sat on a rock and watched themselves get circled by sharks.
All the conversations they were talking about, like making a run for here or there, like this is all invented by Hollywood.
Like,
you know what actually happened is they came up and they had a huge long
fight of,
you know,
we missed the boat,
Jonathan,
you're the one who wanted to see the fucking clownfish.
I wanted to go parasailing.
You dumb whore.
I wanted to go on this stupid trip.
I wanted to go to,
to,
to fucking Mexico.
You didn't want to go.
You wanted to come to the fucking ocean and swim with sharks.
I didn't do this.
You did this.
I wanted to see the clownfish.
If I didn't take pictures, we'd never remember anything we did.
I was in my fucking problem.
I'm swimming over there, you bitch.
So swim and die on the ground.
Maybe.
That's my worst nightmare is just going out in the middle of the ocean where there's nothing,
no land nearby, no beaches.
You're just, as far as I can see, in every direction, just water and falling into the water.
Like that would be, I would immediately have a panic attack.
I would immediately seize up.
That's my dream.
That's what I want to do.
So the Sailing La Vagabonde guys have invited me to come out to their boat.
And I still think about that all the time.
That's like a lifelong dream. Anyway, it's like if they could just somehow arrange to take me like eight miles out to sea and let me swim.
Like I haven't done that.
I haven't ever swam where it's like 2,000 feet deep.
Yeah, like that seems like –
Just hop in your paramotor and head for the horizon.
I could do that.
Unbuckle and jump.
And then I haven't really thought of step two.
You got it, Jeremy.
Don't worry about that.
We're alive, Jackie.
You'll be good.
So did anybody else see the trailer for Dunkirk,
the Christopher Nolan World War II movie that's coming out soonish?
I did.
I think that's it.
I was left disappointed and underwhelmed and had a very strong,
meh, you picked the wrong World War II story to make a movie about kind of feeling afterwards.
So I don't want to offend any Brits or Frenchmen right now,
but I think the correct history of the event was that France is capitulating.
Hitler's troops are coming in.
There's really no more centralized French command.
It's just a few French generals taking what troops are under their command
and trying to hold off the Germans
meanwhile half a million British are trying to get back home
because they see that their invasion isn't going to work
and they've got to regroup
because the blitzkrieg is fucking coming their way
there's half a million men on this beach
and they just get picked off for days
like fish in a barrel from aircraft and stuff
it's a real downer of a movie about the Allies losing early in the war and losing badly.
I don't want to see that.
And maybe that's very nationalist of me, and I should be okay with that.
But let's watch the Marines on Wake Island holding out until the last man.
Let's watch that one.
That would be much more fun and inspirational and a better movie.
I love Nolan.
I love World War II movies, but these people who are like, this is our generation
saving Private Ryan. You're a dumbass.
Well, yeah. Saving Private Ryan is one of my
all-time favorite movies, certainly war movies.
And I have high hopes for Dunkirk
because I do, like you, I believe
in Christopher Nolan. I think he's a great filmmaker.
I just, part of me thinks
it was just a bad trailer. Like, part of me
thinks that it was just a, that it was just not a very
good trailer, and I'll wait for the second one.
Yeah, you know,
but a lot of, usually his trailers
are knockout. Interstellar, Interstellar
trailer blew me away. I was like,
I'll, fuck, I don't care where
I've got to go. I'm going to watch that shit in 70mm,
and I did. And this time around, again,
he's shooting in 35mm and 70mm, i will of course watch this thing on a 70 millimeter
projector but man i got low hopes going into it i feel like it's gonna be a real downer like one of
the scenes is a is a is an american like taking off his gear and walking into the waves to kill
himself because you know they're in such a terrible situation it's like jesus christ you
couldn't at least doing yeah that what he's doing?
Yeah.
That was a British soldier, wasn't it?
Either way.
Hello.
Sure, it would have been a British soldier.
Yeah, yeah.
I thought he was just de-stressing.
Like, you know what?
Killing himself.
I know everything's crazy,
but I'm going for a little swim right now to get my head right.
That's what I thought was happening.
Kyle, let Woody have his innocent delusions.
We'll let him believe that.
I'm like, yeah, yeah.
He's not hurting anybody.
It is a good time for a swim.
I'd have done the same.
Woody's like, oh, I forgot his board.
That's a good surf right there.
Maybe it's going to be like a beach party,
and they're all going to have a good time.
Woody's going to lose his feet.
Woody's going to be screaming from the beach,
you've got your boots on.
Yeah, I didn't know why he had his clothes on.
I was like, well, all right, you know,
I guess it's kind of badass to go swimming in your fatigues.
Commander, like, you know, Private Stevens
has been underwater for a long time,
and he has to be like, Private Stevens isn't coming back.
Christ.
Yeah, that guy's walking to his death
because of the hopeless situation
that they're facing.
He's going to leave the theater.
He's going to have seen a completely different movie than us.
He's going to leave the theater going,
oh, delightful story.
Yeah, they all went swimming.
It was a nice day on a beach.
And we're like, wow, okay, Woody.
It's Woody vision.
You like it in here.
It's nice.
Some guy on Reddit said that he and his girlfriend watched Nightcrawler,
and to this day, she still thinks it was an X-Men movie
because Nightcrawler is an X-Men character.
He's like, you didn't notice that he was a psychopathic journalist
just creating his own crime?
You thought he was an X-Man?
He teleported in.
Yeah.
He actually bought a car because he was having –
being able to teleport would
have made that movie really boring because he would have gotten to every scene immediately
and i'm out the whole movie was about a guy who solved the transportation problem better than his
peers actually you know i'm just gonna teleport into the bank and steal the money that i need
you know i don't need his camera at all you respected his hustle though and I bet Woody did too
early on when he's so fucking broke
that it hurts and he's got
this hustle and confidence
about him that's like yeah I'm in a
hole that's why I'm digging
myself out that's what I'm doing
and he was so forward
thinking despite the fact that he's a sociopath
and he's willing to kill
and do anything
really everyone else their lives have zero value to this guy it's all about him i i really had a
lot of admiration though for his like he was really in a hole there at the beginning he didn't have
anywhere to live he's just completely broke and but he but he still was like it was like a fake
it till you make it kind of mentality with this psychopath god would admire the hustle undoubtedly
i really liked that movie
the to say like a final thing on dunkirk i think the reason that people it's just it's hard to make
a world war ii movie because everybody immediately thinks to i'm maybe not hard by saman i don't know
i was thinking that it's hard because it's compared you immediately compare it to things
like band of brothers saving private ryan and it is
really really hard to hold up to saving private ryan or band of brothers to live up to so you
gotta try a little harder generation kill i've seen i saw that pretty good it's very good not
as good as band of brothers but it was still i feel like it's a different problem like like it
this this it's a different war right you've got a war where people are worried about career
advancement. You've got a war where people are worried about looking good, staying out of trouble,
things like that. And they covered it amazingly.
I talked to people who've been into war, modern war, and they're like, yeah.
That was the most accurate representation
I've seen of modern war ever.
that was the most accurate representation I've seen of modern war ever.
I would like to see
a story about, I don't know,
maybe Midway,
but more important, more cooler would be
like an Audie Murphy story,
like one of the Medal of Honor recipients from the war.
Somebody who did something crazy,
who killed a bunch of Germans or something.
Midway is a naval battle, right?
Yeah, that's when we sent everything
we fucking had and snuck it
in and just crushed the Japanese.
But I watched a really interesting video about
the economic... Oh, I linked to you guys. I doubt
any of you looked at it because it was really boring and
minutiae, but it broke down the
economics of World War II and just
how crazy
our economy was at the time. He outlines
it based on all kinds of statistics,
whether it's automobile production
or the modernization of American factories,
the way that our managerial system at the time
was first class in the world.
We had the best managers, the best workers,
the best machinery, everything,
but there was so much slack in our workforce.
It was really ready to go.
We had a lot
more infrastructure than we had need for and um we had more hammers much more hammers it was that
and that's when they broke down they you know it's hard to to to like figure out how many hammers a
country has this is a civilization reference if people aren't getting it yeah yeah but this this
actually broke down like how much look how many hammers the United States had, and they broke it
down. And by the end of the war, he points out,
he's like, at the end of the war, when
the Soviets, the Brits,
the Japanese are all
either plateauing in their production
capabilities for making war, or declining
due to infrastructure losses
or a lack of materiel,
coal, rubber,
all that stuff.
We're just getting warmed up.
Now we're in go mode at the end of the war.
And that's why I always say, you know, when I look at that,
when I think about the end of World War II and the last days of it,
we should have kept on going.
We should have kept on going. The whole fucking globe was crippled, except for us.
We were in the fucking catbird seat baby we were he we had nukes
nobody else had one we had the biggest fleet of boats that's ever been assembled nobody else had
any boats left because we sunk them all we had we had all these all these nations under our foot
signing these agreements that were much greater in our uh in our benefit we should we should have
went ahead and knocked stalin the fuck off and given his shit to germany if we wanted to like just we don't have to keep it like i'm not talking about creating
an empire just crush the russians get rid of the soviets and give their shit to take break the
soviet union apart and make them all independent nations which is what happened in the 80s anyway
you think they had to talk about that they did have to talk about the end like hey do you think
we could just conquer the world on the
way? Because we defeated
every major army on the way here.
I can't think of the general who, maybe it was, uh,
one of the major American generals was like,
we're here, all, MacArthur
is who I had in my head, but I wasn't sure.
We've got all of our shit here, boss.
Look, all of our might and fire
power, our big punch
is cocked and ready,
and we're looking down at everyone else on the fucking globe.
Let's just get rid of the Soviets.
We totally could have done it.
Absolutely.
I mean, if we wanted to,
we could have conquered South America while we were at it.
It's amazing to look at the military making power and the situation the United States of America was in
right then in 1945, 1946.
It's outstandingly, it's outstandingly.
It's amazing.
It's really cool stuff.
I like reading up on that.
But just between the U.S. and Japan, it wasn't even close.
They were never a threat.
And what I was getting at with that whole discussion there was that if we had lost Midway, this guy broke down why it didn't fucking matter. Because we would replace all of our losses and have a bigger fleet than the japanese within a year and a half or something like that
and the worst and we wouldn't even he didn't even think we'd lose hawaii in that scenario so
um i don't know what works it looks like the um it is interesting the british wanted to keep going
too yeah there's something called operation unthinkable that Churchill asked to have outlined.
I'm just reading about it.
It's new to me.
And they eventually decided it was fanciful and just sort of abandoned it.
But apparently Churchill was talking about going into Russia and just taking over the world, I guess.
It's a very 1940s way to dismiss world conquest.
Oh, that's a bit fanciful, don't you think?
Yeah, right?
I think we're back on our little island, the size of Louisiana.
They were so crippled and war-weary at the time.
They had lost 15 times.
We were war-weary, too.
The populace was, but it was a mental thing more than an actual thing.
They had lost millions and millions
of men. We didn't. We'd lost hundreds
of thousands. They had lost
over 10 million or something like that
defending all of those cities, falling back
and falling back and not holding their ground
or, excuse me, holding their ground
to the last man. All that
crazy shit that happened in Stalingrad.
The Russians lost 20...ussians lost 20 million men i think yeah in world war ii like it was it was such a bad problem in
russia that for years decades afterward there were just huge numbers of single women because
there literally weren't enough men in the generation because so many died we could have
we could have immediately made a deal with the Germans
and been like, you know what?
Those Russians have been awfully cruel to you,
raping and murdering as they took back your land
and exacting their revenge upon you.
Let's outline a peace agreement,
take everything you got, add it to what we got,
and let's head north.
Let's just go back in there and see if we can fix it this time.
That's just the worst tactical move I can imagine, is going
right after the war, going, hey, American
public, you know those people we just fought?
Yeah, fuck the Nazis.
No, no, no, they're cool, they're cool, they're cool.
They're good. We're actually
fighting the Russians now.
We're fighting fascism, though, right?
We're fighting fascism, and once we
put fascism
down, then communism was the problem.
And we should have went ahead and put communism down.
If we'd done that, the world would be in a whole different place.
If you look at the numbers, the amount of troops, material, and the technological advancements, because we kept improving our planes.
You always hear about the Japanese Zero fighter plane, right?
Because they didn't make any new fighter planes during the war.
They never got to the one.
Yeah, they never got to the one.
We got to three or four.
We kept innovating.
Part of the reason why the kamikaze, they turned their planes into weapons, like physical weapons, was because they didn't do anything else.
They didn't do bombing very well, right?
They didn't do that part of it very well so um yeah i mean it's i like to think about history and just think about
what what could have been like a lot of historians agree that like had hitler just not attack russia
had he just focused on one front and uh you know he could have taken over all of europe and in parts
of africa and all sorts of other places. I've heard that said,
but that ignores the American like hammer advantage to go back and see him
talk.
Like, you know,
I think you still have to not also get us instigated.
Right.
Cause we, again,
we were pretty fat,
dumb and happy until Pearl Harbor happened.
That was probably a really quick phone call between Hirohito and Hitler.
Why did you bring the Americans into it?
We are already struggling so much.
Just and false.
You know, just and false.
I could see, like, Japan writing over Skype to Hitler, uh-oh.
Had Hitler just posted that Scandinavia, Europe, parts of Africa,
I think he would have done a lot better.
I think he would have done a lot better.
You know how the bomb button and the simulation button look the same?
I think the eventuality
of that circumstance, of Hitler never
messing with the Soviets, is that
at the end of the war, he gets to keep
a lot of what he took.
He gives a lot of it back. Maybe France gets
liberated, of course,
but maybe he keeps Poland. He's going to keep a lot of stuff. That would have been liberated, of course. But maybe he keeps Poland.
He's going to keep a lot of stuff.
That would have been the piece.
He'd have kept a big chunk of everything he'd taken.
That would have been the piece that would have been made.
Because I find it interesting that America was okay with a conditional surrender from Japan.
They said it was an unconditional surrender, but we didn't get Hirohito.
He was the guy that fucking made the decision to bomb Pearl Harbor.
We didn't get his ass.
We hunted Hitler down until he had to blow his brains out.
Mussolini got hung and pissed on in the streets.
Hirohito lived out the rest of his life as the emperor of fucking Japan.
You know what I mean?
I think there was also a part of, like, condolence.
Like, whoops.
Like, you know, we kind of really fucked over japan in a way that
maybe we shouldn't have like there's a lot i think there's another aspect i think to me the big thing
was japan's really hard to take right like you have to do beach you have to take over beach after
beach after beach where they're reinforced they're sitting there behind hills or bunkers or whatever
and we're running across the sand.
And you have to do that again and again and again.
We're like, we're going to lose so many people.
It's going to be so hard to take island after island.
The estimates were a million men,
a million American casualties to take the home island, Japan.
But I don't think you need that.
Our air power was so good.
We could have bombed them and kept bombing them
and made a couple more nukes
if we wanted to. We could have had another nuke in eight months.
We could have destroyed Tokyo.
We could have burned every city they had. We could have exterminated
them. And I'm still
for that.
To this date,
75 years, I don't forget.
You know that clip we reference
sometimes, like, are we the baddies yeah that
picture i just linked is literally benito mussolini's headquarters in italy during world
war ii that you cannot have that be your headquarter building and walk in every morning
with your starbucks being like ah time to improve reality for all of my Italian brothers. Like, no, you walk into that, into your scary CCCCCCC building written on there.
It's like you, it's the people who worked at that cafe.
It's ISIS upside down.
The people who worked at that cafe to the left.
Do you think they ever walked out and served somebody their fucking, you know, Italian, whatever the hell, coffee,
and went like, ah, so glad Benito's
here helping Italy.
No, they're probably like, god, this guy's a fucking asshole.
He has a picture of his own angry face
on the outside. Would it be cappuccino?
I'm glad Mussolini watches over us all.
Yeah, he just looks over us all.
That looks like the fucking
floating head from Zardoz or something like that.
Yeah, but
Mussolini, he was killed by his own people.
He and his mistress.
Like the picture of them.
That's the other thing that you're making a really good point too
about just history.
It's like even in Nazi Germany,
not all Germans were Nazis, right?
No, very small percentage.
Right, it was a party that became the populist party
and took over power.
And same thing in Japan,
not all Japanese people were imperialist savages, right?
I disagree with that. The Japanese were a different case.
And the Japanese were much more evil than the Nazis, and they deserved a worse fate.
The Nazis were fascists. And the whole thing with the Jews, it wasn't just the Jews.
Maybe they killed six million Jews. They killed six more million of other people,
where there were Slavs, mentally deficient people homosexuals you name it believe me i i know the the type of like savagery that that imperial japan the the military industrial
unit 731 is that what it was yeah the section which is dissecting uh human beings while they're
still alive all kinds of terrible terrible we're on the same team when it is to the gypsies right
like we generally agree yeah the gypppos had it coming if he stopped right there
the world would have raised hitler up on their shoulders right that was he got rid of the pikeys
all right churchill would have been like if we could get some of that hitler business in here
we could do a thing or two trump would have liked it i don't know how trump feels come on you know
he would have liked to kill a racer too well you know i don't know how trump feels come on you know he would have liked to kill a racer too
well you know i don't know how he feels about the jippos so you know some of the rapists they're
thieves uh yeah the gypsies didn't send their best no the jippos do not send their best they
send their trickiest that's what they send their most delicate fingered all right what's nice about
making fun of gypsies and calling them pikeys and stuff they don't have a protection group and everybody hates them
you can hate gypsies
I could fucking wear some
I could put on like a swastika that was
anti-gypsy instead of being an actual swastika
whatever design that whatever it is
I could fucking like preach hate against them
nobody would stand up against me
because nobody likes gypsies
unless they steal some tourist's iPhone they're never going to hear
this podcast it's like making fun of Amish there aren't that many out there and those that
are don't have fucking tv and the internet you know and if they do they're stealing it and they
can't really buck up anyway i remember white boy always went on and on about gypsies and making
fun of gypsies until one of his fans who was actually one one guy he's like hey i'm an actual
gypsy i was there for that down a little no he thought it was funny
yeah even gypsies are okay with putting down gypsies everyone's okay with putting down gypsy
i had a whole new topic the last thing you bought is now 10 times its original size how
fuck do you the last thing i wait defined thing you mean like even like food or the last thing i
bought was a pack of cigarettes for kitty you've got a lot of cigarettes no she's got she's got
20 enormous cigarettes ah is that better that's worse no no that's not i don't know
you don't have to finish them, right?
Like a nice kadoba.
But I think
that's the last thing I bought.
Although I got my dog's teeth cleaned yesterday.
I don't know if that applies.
Could his teeth get ten times bigger?
Would they get scrubbed more? I don't know.
Yeah. Poor guy.
He was crying.
I have ten times as much Chinese know. Yeah. Poor guy. He was crying. I have 10 times as much Chinese food.
Hmm.
Yeah.
Okay.
400 ounces of my monster still left.
Wow.
400 ounces.
The last thing I bought, and don't tell him this, was a remote-controlled car, like a Traxxas for Colin for Christmas.
So maybe he just gets a real monster truck.
You're like, hop in, Colin.
Time to go for a ride.
And the truck is 10 feet bigger,
so you're like, time to go for a ride.
That's definitely the coolest one.
That would be the coolest.
All of ours were boring food items.
It's worse than the electric motors and stuff. That'd be the coolest. All of ours were boring food items. It's worth it.
Just with the electric motors and stuff.
That'd be fun.
To scale, those things are incredibly fast.
Oh, yes. Absolutely.
It would be incredibly fast, too.
It'd be like a Tesla with insanity mode.
Yeah. That would be cool.
In Toy Story, it keeps up with the moving truck for like three blocks.
Do you guys want to see it?
Yeah. Pardon?
What?
Do you guys want to see the car? It's not far from here.
Just grab it. Why don't you... If you grab it, I'll do a...
Okay, you already opened it up?
It might be.
All right, let me... I can't do this one because it requires Woody, but I will tell everyone a little bit about Movement Watches.
Let's see. The past few months, we've been working a lot with Movement Watches. We love them.
You guys love them, so I asked myself, why do I only have one?
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uh yeah those watches are great uh woody always talks about the heft they have they don't feel
like a flimsy cheap piece of shit that's gonna break uh it the the clasp works well the band
feels nice it's a metal band on the one i've got um I got the all black and I'm a big fan. I've got
quite a few watches and I've got
some really expensive watches
and this one kind of fits right in with them
despite the fact that it's $95.
Check them out. It's a good quality watch.
That's the exact description I would give of them
too. Like yeah,
there's expensive watches and this one
seems no different.
So do you want to see the car?
Please.
I didn't realize during my reading I had been abandoned completely.
Now, mine was planned, but yeah, I came back.
I really could have taken over there for a minute.
All right, let me tell you guys what's really the fuck up, all right?
You could go the lefty route and start advertising your own podcast
oh yeah that was funny so if you want a t-shirt head on over to spread shirt you're gonna go to
spread shirt com slash fps russia pick your pick yourself up some merchandise today holidays are
coming so this is it um it's uh a traxxas and then apparently amongst the traxxas, they're all roughly the same in the undercarriage.
And they're just different shells.
And this is the Slash model.
I picked it because in my remote control parks...
I'm sorry?
How much was the track hoe to make your race car track in your backyard?
Oh, yes.
The skid steer for that.
Skid steer.
Yeah.
Optional skid steer for that. Skid steer. Yeah. Optional skid steer.
Dude, in my last para vlog, I flew over what might have been a motocross track,
but it might have been an RC track.
It's hard to tell because I'm 1,000 feet in the air.
And I'm like, I think that's an RC track.
Shout out to Cat Gun if it is.
But anyway, yeah, so this thing, I picked the style I did because I find that the ones where, like, let's say it's a buggy and the tires are kind of out front.
When you smash the tires into something hard, that's a good way to break them.
So this.
The struts.
Yeah, the struts.
You know, the lady at the store said the struts, too.
When I was a kid, it was the servo that would break.
Maybe they're better now.
But this has, you know, at the front of it is a truck.
So it should just like dent a headlight or even less.
Cool.
Yeah.
So I think this is going to be a hit on Christmas.
You know what happened?
So he asked for a giant bean bag.
Like it's six feet.
Like a big bean bag.
And we got that for him.
And we're like, oh, yeah, this will be cool be cool he'll flop it it'll be so much fun and then it was in no time but by the next day
we're like you know bean bag seems stupid it's like we got our kid furniture for christmas like
in no way is he going to be excited about that on day two you know like that was the yeah that
was the year i got a bean bag for christmas so um so we added a remote control are you familiar with the lovesack
the store um i'll get you a link i don't think so i know lovesack the store in the mall
oh god damn it where are they it's these enormous beanbag chairs that are like
five hundred dollars yeah that sounds we got something in that class for that price range Where are they? It's these enormous beanbag chairs that are like $500.
Yeah, that sounds... We got something in that class for that price range.
Okay, fair enough.
Yeah.
It's big enough for like two or three adults, really.
Like you and a chick fits real nice in a lovesack.
You could...
And they're big.
You could lay on this thing like a starfish and still be on it.
Let me show you my favorite remote-controlled car.
Ah, I bet he has something cool
yeah um i don't know where i i don't know where she saw it but yeah she it was on sale but it
it's a big yeah it's a gigantic beanbag chair yeah they're freaking huge and they they come
i remember last time i was looking at the website, they came in like 30 different flavors.
You could have like eight different materials
and each material in a different color,
but some materials have unique colors,
whether it's leather or multi-fiber or some sort of...
This sounds a lot like the site that we bought it from.
Yeah.
Those are really cool and they last a long time.
It's a real high-quality thing.
I don't even know if I want that.
Do I want a giant bean bag?
If you told me, oh, and this bean bag, it'll be completely destroyed in four weeks.
I'll be like, ah, that sounds good.
Then I won't have it anymore in my stupid house.
No, it's a long-lasting, high-quality product.
I don't own one or anything, but I stayed at a lake house.
It was part of the basement rec room thing.
I just remember how wonderful it was to just walk up to it,
turn around, and just fall backwards into it
and be like, wow, this is pretty great.
Super comfy.
What do you have, Josh? Is there a remote control car?
Oh, yeah. We'll see how many people
remember this guy.
Oh, no!
In its original packaging.
In the box. Is that the RCXD?
Yeah, that's the
I guess it was the prestige
edition of Black Ops
1. So yeah, it's the RCXD
and again,
if you don't remember, it has the little camera
on the front so you can actually
it has a spy camera
and the controller
has this little screen, this
shitty little screen on the on it
that you could actually see video footage had a microphone on it so you could uh talk and
communicate with the person you're spying on it turned out being like this this really weird thing
that we were driving we were going to do a promotional video and we were going to try to
drive it around like the studio and like to show people all the different ways you can use it and
at one point we had it like driving into the bathroom and underneath the
bathroom stall and we had to scrap the thing because we realized i think pr realized skirt
machine yeah pr realized yeah this is what we really want to be telling people how you use this
we didn't ultimately like focus on the camera as much but it was there um you know because there
was a camera on i didn't even know it had a camera.
It makes sense that it would because it did in the game.
But yeah. The game did not have a mic. You couldn't do that part.
No, no. Yeah, but they just
tossed it in. Although that would have been fun.
Oh, man. Imagine if one of the killstreaks
let you talk trash to the opposing team.
Just chase them with an RC car.
They're running because it explodes
and you're like you're a
faggot run faggot run it was eavesdrop into cod 4 that that you could you could talk or you could
hear the voice chat of the person who's near nearby you and you could use that as a reverse
thing as well to troll the other team if you know that they're running eavesdrop so you could just
start like yelling at your other team yeah but that's i really did the rc car if you could talk
trash to the team that that'd be hilarious.
Just die a faggot.
We always talked about the propaganda drone
or the propaganda plane, how cool that would be.
Well, this is time-stamped.
Watch like eight seconds of this.
I made an RC XD once.
Oh, you did?
Yeah.
I'm queuing up for a moment.
I think I saw it.
Yeah, because you also made the hanging.
You made the drone, right?
The flying.
Well, I certainly didn't make it.
Yeah, but you made a video about it.
Yeah, yeah.
Well, I mean, that was a partnership with Activision.
That was out there on the movie ranch.
Are you guys ready?
Yeah.
Ready, set, play.
Go.
Is it fast forward?
It was for a moment.
Like, that's my own editing.
It's just got a fuse going.
Not inconspicuous at all.
We'll see.
That's the joke, right?
You'll see.
That's the silly little joke that I added.
I'm just fucking with you.
That was a real mess of that microphone.
I hope you enjoyed this video, my friends.
If you liked it, please give it a thumbs up.
Probably not supposed to strap explosives
on a remote control vehicle.
Probably not.
Where did Taylor go? I think this has
changed from a pee trip to a
shitting trip.
Oh, that is a solid theory.
Yeah. That is a solid theory. I feel
like he's just taking time off.
This is a long-ass
program you guys run here man it's uh
it is a marathon oh it feels like half an hour to me i don't even know too old for this shit
uh let me see i probably have an oh precedent set this is kind of cool i ran across this news
so in texas corpus Christi, Texas,
a man was,
he was like a completely innocent guy.
I think they were looking for his son.
The police ran into his house
on a no-knock raid
and he shot three cops.
I think one of them might have died.
And he was just found not guilty.
After two years in custody yeah that's his um
his his attorney who apparently was right apparently was right was like this is so easy
this is a self-defense case and uh now it's like a precedent-setting case that if the police just
bust into your house without knocking and you kill then... There was a previous case that was earlier this year,
very similar thing.
He only shot one cop, though, and he got off as well.
That's good.
I got a story about this, guys.
I've never told this publicly because it's not the kind of story
you want to say that the police raided your apartment, right?
I've told that story. Carry on.
This is right before I moved out of California and moved to
Atlanta. Um, uh, I was, uh, in my place down in, in Lake forest, California, down here, Irvine,
and just fast asleep one morning. Now I, the day before I had packed all my, all my stuff away. So,
um, I had, uh, packed all of my firearms away in my safe and they were padded and locked up and
unloaded and ready for transport and everything. and so normally because normally i would sleep with a
loaded and chambered uh pistol on my nightstand within arm's reach right that's the only place
that it's going to be useful for home defense and um so the uh it's like six in the morning
and they didn't kick down my door thankfully thankfully. But just suddenly, I wake up to people running through my living room towards my bedroom, yelling at me.
I'm being woken up from a deep sleep, so I don't know what's going on.
I don't hear them yelling.
I'm sure they're shouting out that it's the police and everything and don't to move and put your hands up or whatever.
But my instinct was I immediately rolled over and reached for my nightstand to grab my gun.
Now, this is the LAPD we're talking about.
They don't fuck around, right?
They probably would have gotten the drop on me, and I could have gotten killed if I had drawn down on them
because I would then later find out.
So thankfully there's nothing there, and they stop me, and they ID me,
and they figure out that it's this big mistake in identity thing.
So there had been somebody who had, like, went on this, like, grand theft auto spree, like, boosting enterprise cars and different rental cars from around the airport.
And they had listed my address just randomly, like as a lie like they it was just bad luck
like they had just listed and they didn't know they were targeting me they just listed my address
so and when the when the cops had come down they didn't break down my door or anything thankfully
they they had gone to like the uh the manager's office and gotten a key so thankfully they didn't
do any damage to my apartment they actually unlocked the door and came in.
And they had apparently spent some time like looking through the windows.
So the parking garage that I had, I had single unit parking garages because we're working this whole thing out.
Like for like an hour, I'm trying to figure out what the hell went wrong because I was pretty mad. and so I guess they had had the wrong they thought that my my single spot
parking garage was the same number that matched my apartment unit but in
actuality I was assigned a different parking garage so the parking unit that
they had gotten a peek into because they I guess they had like like looked inside
to try to like see what was in it look kind of sketchy like it looked like it
was a chop shop or something like there was you know lots of tools and so they thought they had their guy they thought they
had the guy who boosts cars and comes back here and he does his thing so like the that all confirmed
their suspicion to make them want to just immediately go in and try to get me because
this had just been happening like the night before a bunch of cars that got boosted so anyway
it was this big mistaken identity thing, but
I was just really grateful that
all of my shit was locked up because
my instinct just took over. I'm sure
I would have just grabbed the gun and at least
pointed it at them. I don't know that I would have pulled the trigger without
identifying my target, but
groggy, woken up, startled
with people running through your house, what else
are you going to do? Yeah, yeah. When I come out
of a sleep,
that's pretty fucked up. I don't like the startled with people running through your house, what else are you gonna do? Yeah, yeah, when I come out of a sleep, you know, it's...
That's pretty fucked up. I don't like the no-knock warrants at all.
That just seems like a recipe for disaster, and I can't imagine...
Only in very specific circumstances is that a good idea.
And in those circumstances, you gotta make sure you're at the right place.
You gotta fucking triple-check before we storm in.
And it should really only be in the case of, like, some real hardened
freaking criminals in there some people who shoot
people some people who are
violent criminals it's not even
a meth lab no I don't want to storm
into a place with all those chemicals and pressurized
tanks and stuff like
they're the if they've got a
a meth lab in their house it's
a miracle it hasn't already exploded
so adding flashbangs and kidnapping
or you know sure a time
sensitive situation like that like a kidnapping in there yes storm the fuck in you know shoot
them all if you have to whatever but like in this the one you're talking about woody like his nephew
was wanted on drug charges you know not even at the house so complete antithesis of the kind of
situation in which you want to apply a no knockknock warrant. I can only make it worse.
I hate to apply the thoughts of one policeman to a lot,
but I know a cop, and he didn't seem to have any respect for privacy, like boundaries.
It was like, we're police.
We can go in your house.
We'll knock down your door.
We'll do whatever.
There's no limits to what we can do.
We're the cops.
The rest of us don't see it that way yeah when i see stuff like
this like oh yeah they did no knock raid so they could get some guy who was a pot dealer
really like yeah no knock raid for that like think about all the material and manpower that's being
not just wasted but the it's worse than wasting it it's applying it badly you know it'd be one
thing if they took that manpower material on expense
and just let it sit on a shelf somewhere.
That's wasting.
What they're doing is much worse.
They're abusing it and misusing it
against the people they should be protecting.
Yeah, it's like using a nuke to respond to a bank robbery.
Where it's like, yeah, you stopped it, but...
Somehow that reminds me of your Accutane story.
It is, because that's what it's like.
It's like my Accutane story.
Well, don't get me started on the war on drugs,
because that's a whole other topic that's just so stupid.
We're on the same page there.
We don't need to beat that dead horse anymore.
He's a pile of fucking mush, I promise you.
But just the...
Like you're saying,
just this over-exertive sort of police state that we've moved into, it's not good.
They watched Judge Dredd one too many times.
I am the law.
I love that movie.
I know it's a B movie.
People don't like it or whatever, but Carl Urban, I think, in Dredd, I have rented that thing four times probably. Paying $4 each time because I love it.
I love it. I love that movie.
Every minute of it,
every second of it, I find to be really gritty
and grounded and it's a small
story, but it's one that I'm really
interested in because it's its own
universe with Judge
Dredd. Is he a Marvel character or DC?
I don't know. Is he a superhero?
Not a superhero, a superhero but i think
he's like a graphic novel hero like a comic hero of some kind i think but like a batman kind of
hero like he has like a really cool suit it's in the future post uh post like a big apocalypse and
the the earth is super overcrowded or at least the cities are and they have these mega cities
and they have these like a cyberpunk thing yeah yeah and uh and and he is the law the criminal
justice system has been boiled down to judges and judge dread uh he he he sees a crime he responds
to crime like a cop would but then he he is judged jury and executioner so he's gonna he's gonna be
like uh lawyering you better not be there when i get back or it's six weeks in an iso cube, whatever that is.
Sounds like they're going to put you in a cube and leave you there for a while.
He comes back, you're still there.
Oh, six weeks in an iso cube.
Attempted murder?
Punishment's death.
Boom!
Like, society's gotten so overcrowded, it's gotten to the point where they just need to cut out all the bullshit,
and they just have these judges that go in and just, like, enforce order.
He wears the helmet.
Like, oh, green on a Tuesday!
Just trying to kill people.
And so Judge Dredd is the most hardcore
of these hardcore elite people that are judges.
He's the baddest of them all.
And his little thing,
he always wears the helmet in the books, I guess.
He never takes his helmet off.
I don't know.
I know the girls got hers off for most of the thing
because their telepathy doesn't work without it.
But the thing was that Judge Dredd never takes the thing off so when shy stallone sylvester stallone
makes the movie judge dread first thing he does is take the helmet off because he's so vain he
can't deal with it but but carl urban on the other hand is a big fan of the uh the original work he
loves it he's a fan of it he didn't take the helmet off he's just scowls that frown of his
is so great in that movie i love it i didn't see any reference to it being part of another universe like dc or marvel as far as i can tell i'm not sure though um yeah i like
judge dread too and it's it's pretty badass i like his gun his gun's badass dude that the whole thing
i like movies that go on the edge of believable maybe some guys will say it wasn't believable but
it it's kind of like uh john wick you know where like
john wick is just the perfect version of a real person right like like like that could happen if
everything went right and yeah he's not doing anything supernatural he's just fucking well
trained and hardcore he's not doing anything that can't do his training regimen right yeah
training out the have you have you seen the trailer for John wick 2 because if not we got to watch it dude's a machine I've I have not seen
the trailer for John wick 2 I saw the first one and I really thought it was
gonna be dumb I was I was surprised at how much I liked John wick I love John
wick and and the John wick 2 trailer do you want to watch it woody it's quite
good that this is the movie Kyle that you're you're always astonished by how well and accurately
he handles the guns, right? Yes.
It's not just what he does.
It's... So he
reloads when he's supposed to. He reloads the correct
way. And look, I'm not a three-gun
trained tactical shooter or anything, but I definitely
recognize this stuff when I see
it, the way he handles his weapons. Just his draw.
I think there's a scene in
this trailer that
that shows him doing like a quick draw you'll see him pull his pants uh reach in grab the gun
clear it and it's a very mechanical like four-part motion that he's gotten down to a slipstream
science of muscle memory it's it's very impressive to watch him work i guess we'll watch kyle's we
both linked it his is a little longer so i guess it's the right one I don't know. Oh, let me put it on the big screen. Are you guys ready? Yeah, I'm all squared away
Oh, I played for some reason ready set play
John wick has its own you Rome
Where it's in a 209 minute one, right? Yeah. Yeah, that's what I was gonna do.
Social.
How many buttons?
Two.
And what style?
Tactical.
Tactical.
Mr. Wick, do enjoy your party.
I love this shit.
How good to see you again so soon. I love this shit.
You have no idea what's coming.
Was that from the first movie?
Yeah, he's not a great actor, but he gets a little too much hate.
Does he get hate?
Yeah, definitely.
I hope he utilizes his little hats.
I know he's been training them all.
In real life?
Yes. What'd you say you hope he utilizes what? Jiu-Jitsu. He's been doing all day. In real life? Yes.
What'd you say you hope he utilizes, what?
Jiu-Jitsu.
He's been doing a lot of BJJ.
John Wick.
You're not very good at retiring.
I'm working on it.
There, that draw.
Nice. there that draw oh that's that's it there's a lot of like fat on the end explains the difference in lengths of our videos like mine said official trailer too yet it was 30 seconds shorter
yeah a little bit on there uh tell me if i'm alone on this or if you guys are different.
Because, like, car chases in movies, I just don't dig them.
I'm never really on the edge of my seat in the car chase.
I always just kind of want to see the fucking warehouse that they get to.
Because in the car chase, man, some movies do it well.
I think Christopher Nolan's car chase with Batman
and the Joker, that whole thing.
Incredibly well shot. All that IMAX stuff.
They did that for real. I hate it.
I beg to differ. In Matrix 2,
that's a six
week long shot that they do
with that car chase. Oh, I love that one.
That car chase, that took six weeks to film.
They built that entire stretch of highway, concrete
walls, and all for that shot. Go back to Bullet. Amazing car chase in that took six weeks to film. They built that entire stretch of highway, concrete walls, and all for that shot.
Go back to Bullet.
Amazing car chase in that movie too.
I like car chases when there's something on the line, when it matters if you get caught or not, and when it feels gritty and real fast.
And the fear is shit.
I could give you a breakdown of the Batman car chase, and I'm pretty sure it would change your mind.
They go through and they talk about like it basically it's about editing right i was watching a video on editing so that i can be
a better editor sometimes i watch stuff like that and uh they take the batman car chase and they
break it down and when i saw it i just assumed that the reason like i didn't follow very like
different aspects of it was because i'm getting lost. Like it's somehow my fault.
And then this guy goes through and he's like,
what the fuck is happening right now?
The car was just to the Northeast,
like,
you know,
forward and to the right.
Now,
suddenly it teleported forward into the back.
Now it's the left.
Now we're inside and we can't see where the other people are.
Oh,
now he's on top.
Like there is no like continuity in it.
It's just,
I'm not sure.
Are we talking about the Joker? When the Joker has the RPG and he's chasing top like there is no like continuity in it it's just i'm not sure are we talking about the joker when the joker has the rpg and he's chasing commissioner gordon and the when the
semi-flips it ends i think with um i think batman's not there there's maybe like a uh a robbery of
some kind at the very end batman's there and then maybe batman has to escape himself i forget the
details of it but i can tell you that that car chase is the cinematic equivalent of children
banging pots and pans together.
It makes no sense.
I think that you might be talking about
when he's in the Batmobile
and for the first time the cops get a look at the Batmobile
as he runs away from them and
building hops and stuff. The one I'm
talking about, and maybe you were talking about this one.
They're in a box truck a lot in the one I'm talking about.
Okay, well then that's it. That's when theoker and his bad guys are in that truck he like pulls
the door open he's got the rpg and he fucking yeah there's no continuity in that i have to hunt
down the video and show it to you and i think i believe you yeah if you would look at it in the
same way that i think you hated walking dead even more once you heard about the backstory of like
why it sank in season two.
I think if you looked at this and saw his analysis
you'd be like, you know what? This guy has a lot
of valid criticisms. This car chase
is just a bunch of like
nearly random
awesome scenes
smashed together that make no sense
as a story. It makes a little
bit of sense almost the way you say it because
I think the big thing for that shot and what i liked about it honestly wasn't necessarily like
what they were doing but how it was shot because they use those imax cameras on those gimbals and
i i that that viewpoint's really cool to me and i liked at the end when the transfer truck fucking
disobeys the laws of physics and like upends and flips or whatever all that stuff um and then of
course the end the jokers they're like hit hit me, you know, and that crazy performance of his,
that sold it well, too, you know?
Yeah.
I mean, if they asked to fuck over, wouldn't you?
Is there anybody here who would have been like, okay.
Fucking, like, get another gear.
I agree with Woody.
I agree with both of you.
I think that it was a spectacular car chase,
and I do think that it broke a lot
of continuity because i noticed the same stuff that woody was talking about but what i think
made it work despite or in spite of breaking continuity is that car chase scenes like that one
are i i like car chase scenes that take their time and that have uh good pacing and cadence and that is not a breakneck whiplash
car chase scene the whole way through like you'll see in some jason bourne films you'll see in the
mission impossible films or the fast and furious films that don't do it particularly well in my
opinion that the dark knight car chase scene you're talking about slow moving semis that are skidding around corners and going
up on ramps slowly and flipping over big dramatic slow flips and it yeah like i think that the
pacing is what what really ties that thing together and you really feel this sort of
marathon of the moment and it's not like just constantly You know who does that really well?
I'm going to date myself with this reference, but
Beverly Hills Cop.
Beverly Hills Cop.
The bad guys are in
like, it might be
an armored car, or it might be
a cement truck, and they're running
away, and then the cops get
a garbage truck in the hot pursuit,
and they're both in these vehicles that can't go fast that can't corner
Well like they slowly like work their way through the gears, and it's a hilarious
But really well done car terminator 2 at the end of terminator 2 when they're you know leaving cyberdyne and heading for the the steel foundry
They they commandeered this like pickup truck with a cab on the back and and Schwarzenegger's driving as fast as it'll go,
and the T-1000 is coming up behind him in this big semi-truck,
and he's just fucking getting gears and hauling ass,
and John Connor's like, go faster, go faster!
This is the vehicle's maximum speed.
Are you fucking kidding me? It's 55.
That's another perfect example of a well-paced car chase scene.
Yeah, man, and the chopper at the beginning.
Now, Terminator 2 is
one of my all-time favorites. God, I love that
fucking movie. Is Terminator 2 where
I guess the kid's in a lot of trouble.
He might be on a dirt bike, and then out of nowhere
Stallone comes in the chopper.
You know, he's got a big cruiser of some
sort with a shotgun. Am I messing up
the thing? Schwarzenegger.
Oh, right.
That's my thing.
I messed up.
He comes on the Harley and does that big jump
where you can see it's not him really jumping.
Say what you want.
I would prefer that special effect,
that real practical effect where
we got a stunt driver that looks a little like
Arnold Schwarzenegger, put this wig on him, and he jumped.
Much more than seeing CGI
Schwarzenegger jump.
When that bike hits the fucking bottom of the reservoir, the shocks give out. him and he jumped much more than seeing cgi schwarzenegger jump right like when when that
bike hits the fucking bottom of the reservoir the shocks give out that by that bike ain't made for
that shit like it's cool to see that scene and then him of course whipping that shotgun around
that lever action and i'm on the freddie wong team when it comes to cgi did you see his video
about how cgi sucks except when it doesn't. No. I don't know.
He kills it. I bet he would influence the way you think about CGI too.
Basically he says, look, we're really good at some CGI.
When it's rocks, when it's
inanimate things, when it's non-humans
we crush it.
And he's like, you don't even realize how much
CGI you're seeing. Pretty much everything that
flies in movies is all CGI.
And I was like, everything that flies? Yeah, I guess. Every time there's an aerial camera, that's CGI. I'm like,
well, every, yeah, I guess. I didn't even think about it because we do like 98% of the things
that we want to CGI really, really well. And he's like, the only times you really notice CGI is when
it's bad. And oftentimes it's human faces because we're particularly choosy about what a human face
needs to look like. Our brains are good at that.
Yeah, we're wired for it. Very important.
He even goes in to say
there's a talking shark in
Sharknado or something. And he's like, it looks
incredibly real to me. Now, maybe if I was
a talking shark, I'd have higher
standards for it. But for me, it looked
like a great shark.
If you watch, like Mad Max is an example of how practical effects were, like, amazing.
And when it first came out, when it first came out, everyone was like, oh, my God, practical
effects are so incredible.
And then over time, the difference between what it actually looked like and what the
movie looked like came out.
And you're like, whoa, this was a lot more CGI than we thought it was.
You know?
Mad Max was like, I'm making up a number, 50% CGI.
They just took some practical stuff and then tripled the size of the fires and tripled the size of the way.
But the practical stuff they did was big, though.
That semi-flipping was real.
That's the best car chase ever.
Yeah, that's a whole movie of a car chase.
A whole movie of one big car chase.
That's probably the best example. Blues Brothers. Ah, I fucked up whole movie of a car chase. A whole movie of one big car chase. That's probably the best example.
Blues Brothers.
Ah, I fucked up.
No, good car chase, Blues Brothers.
We got a half a pack of cigarettes, a full tank of gas, it's dark, and we're wearing sunglasses.
Hit it.
And then they fucking drive all night to Chicago to pay the church's bank note.
Ah, they must destroy 300 cop cars, Dodgers and Plymouths and shit in that movie.
You ever seen that?
Blues Brothers?
I've never seen Blues Brothers.
Kyle's really good at movie quotes.
My wife is not really good at movie quotes, but you know what she does?
And she doesn't even think about it.
She can't stop.
She finishes things with movie quotes. I don't know if you say let your fingers
do the walking she'll be like through the yellow pages
I mentioned that her mom was 76
and she's like trombones
and it just like she finishes
that stuff with pop references
constantly it's like a pun thing
but not puns it's like a movie reference
thing yeah it used to
does it bother you
not anymore there was a phase in my
life where well now you guys got to start doing it kyle and you have to i already do it my like
day-to-day life like like we were we were at the farm the other day and some cows like had stepped
out of a fence and uh dad just like fucking blasts at him with a shotgun he didn't shoot him or
anything he's just shooting near them and it scares the fuck out of him and they know to go back in
and i just remembered that quote from that movie life with
barton lawrence and uh and um eddie murphy when they're explaining to the black prisoners that
they don't have a fence at this place he's like he's like we ain't got no fence here that's right
boss ain't got no fence that's cause we got the gun line that's right boss we got a gun line around
here it's just like the gun line is a line at which
they'll shoot you if you fucking pass it so like as soon as i saw him do that i was like we got no
fence around here boss got the gun line and we just crack up laughing like yeah i like i uh i
love movie quotes i heard a whole conversation the other day uh i think purposefully to exclude
chiz and fuck with him a little bit, where Kyle and I went through the entire scene
of Pippin and Gandalf talking about the
afterlife in Askelia, or whatever it was
we were talking about in that.
Oh, the white and the silver.
Oh, no.
This is not the end.
It was actually the
scene where it's like,
what do you really see? The Oryx are taking
the hobbits to Isengard!
And the whole thing
about some evil gives speed to
these creatures. And like,
Chiz is just like, you guys are assholes.
I haven't seen this shit.
I want to rewatch it again.
But he needs to see Lord of the Rings. That's
unbelievable to me. He's never
seen any of them? He started watching it
with his dad and then like stopped halfway through they got like
Lord of the Rings fatigue or something. I don't know. The Minds of Moria
a little after that and then gave up. I don't even know if they finished the first one. I'll have to ask him again.
So they got fatigued mid series not mid one one movie, right? Mid first movie.
I think they had a Minds of Moria. Mid first movie?
one movie, right?
Mid-first movie.
Minds of Moria.
Mid-first movie?
Yeah. I don't see how you see Minds of Moria
and that doesn't, like,
boost your attention span for another hour.
Yeah.
That's like, oh, fuck, this cave troll's getting...
At the time in that theater
when that cave troll burst in to Balin's...
They had a cave troll.
Yeah.
That was, you know, 13 or whatever.
Just like, oh, my God!
Like, what?
Like, this thing's just swinging its chain and killing all the little goblins.
That's just not the movie that you lose your attention with, right?
I can't see that.
I can't comprehend that.
I can in parts.
And the second one picks up with them climbing down a mountain
and having some conflict with whose little rat guy who had the ring at one point?
Gollum. Yeah, you know, and,
you know, yeah, yeah, you've got Sam angry with Gollum, and the other guy is somewhat trusting him, and you're just like, oh my god, would you fucking give me a battle? Like, there is a slow
part. I can understand little slow minutes for other people who are like, you know, I really
didn't like the part where, you know, they were hiking uh or they spent too much time with where they were hiking
it's all lord of the rings or whatever but for me i'm so obsessed with it and into it even in like
the or i was at one point i still really love lord of the rings but like i just i would watch
frodo do his hobbiton tax return or his taxes just be like
wow they have a fucking you know you have to pay taxes if you grow a pumpkin too big what a world
or like i don't know like they did such a good job at creating the world like even even the
scenes in the shire where it is slow where it's not action there's not war like you're saying
taylor i i am so engrossed in that stuff because they did such a
good job at making it come to life and making it seem so believable the shire is not the slow part
though it's it's aspects of the hiking that is the slow part you know like um even those scenes i
mean because what they're able to do is they're able to capture the scale and like the breadth
or like the the the sinister yeah the distance and the sinister
nature of the unsafe
and unsavory lands they're traversing
like they are able to communicate that
and make it seem so real and so
vivid. Sometimes when I edit my own
stuff and I'll pretend to be some
what's his name Peter
Jackson and I'll pretend to be
Peter Jackson but I'll have like you know like
alright this was an interesting thing.
I flew over cows and all the cows scattered.
But it's like 40 seconds long.
And I'm like, you know what?
I think that's 10 seconds interesting.
That's it.
You know, if this thing goes on for 40 seconds, they're going to be like, what is this bullshit?
Like I'm starting to yawn here.
They do that.
They, oh, we really like these fancy cameras we're using.
Let's get aerial shots of people running across the landscape.
And then they just run and run and run.
It's cool.
And because the way you're supposed to be thinking the whole time is like,
this isn't just Aragorn,
Legolas and Gimli traipsing about Rohan looking for Mary and Pippin.
It's like,
you're in an area that should
be held and secure by the Rohirrim
but King Theoden is poisoned
by Grima Wormtongue, a servant of
Isengard and Saruman. And so
basically you're running through what is
Middle-earth's version of downtown Detroit
where there are
bands and
little conclaves of
Urkai and orcs and and wild men men could come around
and kill you so they're running through this fast not because they're like hey we need to burn some
power for saruman yeah like they're running fast because they're like we need to get to that forest
or we're going to get spotted in the open and slaughtered is kind of like what i think you're
supposed to take from and they communicated that so well too
like like yeah it's not just like they're all under this like all ruling power of saruman it's
like they under yeah it could just be anything like this is the why this is their equivalent
to like the wilderness that the dangerous parts you just don't want to be right yeah yeah they
have no friends in that area even when aymer and the riders at Rohan came up to him initially, you know, telling him...
What news from the Riddermark?
Yeah.
We need to get off this at this point.
You tell me your name, horse master.
And I will tell you mine.
I will cut off your head, dwarf, if it stood but a bit higher.
You would die before your throat fell.
It's impressive, isn't it?
It's impressive.
Yeah, they both do it.
Kyle remembers the dialogue.
No, he does better than me probably with the dialogue.
It's little pieces.
It's our favorite parts of the dialogue, I'm sure.
But you remember the dialogue across a lot of movies.
Sure.
And Taylor, when he just breaks down what's happening,
I'm blown away by all the names he remembers.
Never in my life have I ever remembered the names of different shit like that.
And the names are not even words, right?
He's not like, right, right, right.
The bad guy lived on Elm Street.
Yeah, Erica the Big Spider.
No, it's Shelob.
It's a name that's never been used before ever.
Oh, Shelob, forgive me.
Yeah.
They have phonetics in the Cimmerillion.
Yeah.
It is specifically the names.
I could tell you the battle was at Helm's Deep,
and a layer below that
it's all fog.
It's all just words to be ignored.
It's a wonder
my vocabulary is past 100 words
because if I don't know it, I just
skip it and hope I can get along without it.
Or you just
mash other letters together
and something that's similar.
When you say a name from Game of Thrones,
I feel like you have a checklist
over there that's like, alright, I'm going to put in a
Y and then two vowels and
two to three random consonants, and that's
a Game of Thrones name. It has a
Y and a lot of vowels.
Is there a silent U in there?
Yeah? Good.
An umlaut over one of those you use?
Oh, perfect.
That looks very foreign.
I'm definitely going to rewatch it now.
I have to.
I've been wanting to for a while.
It's just a real commitment to start.
I rewatched the first two not long ago.
And it's funny because I've done that more than once.
I have seen the third one fewer times, like one-fourth as many times as the first two not long ago. And it's funny because I've done that more than once. I have seen the third one fewer times than like one fourth as many times as the other two.
Because I'll watch the first one or two and then not get to the third.
I got to close it out.
I got to get Frodo back home.
His lips are all fucking chapped and shit and he's hungry.
When his lips were chapped, I was just like, man, I wish I could get him some Carmex.
His lips were actually chapped for that scene.
I have to say this, too.
You know when you see Frodo holding the ring in the movie?
His fingernails are very, very ripped apart and shredded and torn and bitten at and very little and nubby.
Originally, I saw this in some interview where Elijah Wood was like, I have to stop biting fingernails and fucking with them because i don't my obviously there's gonna be a lot of
close-ups on my hands holding this ring and peter jackson apparently told him like no no no no don't
stop picking your nails don't stop biting them that's exactly what this character would be doing
he's stressed out beyond all you know consolation nobody's able to console this dude he would be
biting and picking and he's so in his own
head like that's great and it comes through in those scenes where he's holding the ring and it's
like a trembling hand that's seen so much and he's in so much pain and turning it over to anyone
turning it over lovingly but also fearfully i think the dark knight rises i think the same
thing happened with bane like i think uh i love little fun like facts of that i think is uh what's
his name the guy who played Bane? Tom Hardy.
Yeah, he used to play college ball.
And so you see Bane kind of like walking around like this with his vest.
Well, this is kind of how NFL football players,
they do it to pull the jersey down so it airs out.
So I think Tom Hardy was probably just on set at one point doing that,
waiting between shots.
And Chris Nolan was like, yes, that's going to be like the iconic bane pose now right the same story is terrible i liked it i hated it bane was
such a dude the third batman really fucking falls apart for me in retrospect when i look back that
whole fist fight they have at the end and what universe does that occur one without firearms apparently because i killed bane in about three fucking seconds from a thousand yards away
like like like i i wouldn't fist fight him in broad daylight though i would that that's the
that's what he wants right and i guess that's the point that batman has risen up and but that's not
what batman does when you when you really think about it the dark knight should be coming up with
a way to turn this on him and use his strength against him which in that cartoon
that we've all watched together that we watched woody he uses jujitsu of course he's he's like
he's like i'm gonna tear you apart you know he's like he's putting him in arm bars breaks both of
his arms putting him in in leg locks breaking both of his fucking knees and by the end of it
bane is fucking it wasn't bane actually in that, in that. It was the leader of the mutants or whatever.
But at the end of it, he's crippled.
Batman cripples him.
That's what would have been better,
if Batman used some sort of fighting technique
rather than just doing a lot of push-ups in a hole.
Batman's not above weapons and stuff.
Whenever he fights Superman,
he seems to be in some sort of super suit
to level the playing field.
If he wanted to fight Bane,
he'd come back with bionic arms or something and level the
gadgets of some kind.
But I want to believe that there is a Batman fighting crime.
I need you to help me suspend that disbelief.
You did a pretty good job in this last movie with Ben Affleck.
God damn, he was big.
And the idea of him branding them to make them afraid of him.
It's very important that you fear Batman if he's going to be a real thing. Because
a man in a suit jumping around, if
we're all adults with no fear in our hearts,
is going to be dead in about five minutes,
because we've all got a gun and a flashlight.
So it's important that there's a mythos around this character,
that he's a terrifying specter.
Maybe he's a half-bat, half-man.
Maybe he's a god. We don't fucking know.
He comes out of the dark and brands us.
Yeah, you don't know. So, I don't know.
When he's fighting in broad daylight, that kind of blew it for me.
To what you were saying about the Superman-Batman thing,
I saw that, or Melissa put that on a few days ago,
and I kind of part watched it, part played Call of Duty,
and I didn't understand.
Like, I jumped into the fight between Superman and Batman,
and I am baffled that Ben Affleck Batman
just left the bottom half of his face exposed
when fighting Superman.
That's a little thing,
but it's also pants on head retarded
to expect me to believe that Superman
wouldn't just rip his jaw
and subsequently his head out of that suit.
It was believable in that he was fighting superman
because you're like this is clearly a robot suit with super strength superman has super strength
so it's more of a fair fight all they had to do to get everybody on board with the suspension of
disbelief is just put a little little mouth guard just put a put something there that he can't reach
in and be like oh wow that's really impressive suit did i mention i can move as fast as light
and i can literally reach up in there, pull out pieces of your brain,
and present them to you before you lose consciousness and die.
That was a little bit silly.
But I also don't get along with superhero movies great.
All right, Josh, you said you needed to go.
What have you been up to lately?
Yeah, man.
Well, I just shipped a new indie game called Rad Rogers.
It's just the first world, so it's Rad Rogers World 1.
It's kind of like a classic.
It'll be a little bit before Taylor's time, probably,
but it's kind of like a classic side-scrolling PC platformer,
so like Commander Keen.
Obviously, like, the most notable would be, like,
maybe Super Mario Brothers,
but it's more like Commander Keen.
It's more like Jazz Jackrabbit, Conqueror's Bad Fur Day,
or if you guys remember, Rough and Tumble from the original Amiga.
So really, really old-school-style platforming,
but it's built in the Unreal Engine 4.
It's got this beautiful, almost Pixar-like art style to it.
But it doesn't play like a kid's game.
It's very gory, very mature, almost Rick and Morty-like humor to it.
Cool.
It's just a little...
It's a Conker.
That's a very good thing to be compared to.
And look, I'm not trying to say it's like Conker,
but the team took inspiration from all these things.
And so it was a small little indie developer in Denmark called Interceptor Entertainment that built this game.
We're helping them at 3D Realms with publishing.
We help them with their Kickstarter campaign.
Because they were paying an homage to a lot of games that 3D Realms had their hands in and had their influence in back then, it just made perfect sense.
So it's a little $12 game on Steam right
now. It's coming to consoles
next year in
early 2017.
So yeah, you can get it on Steam.
Just RadRogers. It's
RadRogers on Twitter and Facebook.
Yeah, check it out. It's pretty
cool. And
we have a full soundtrack on iTunes as
well. That's one of the coolest things that I think is
about this game is the
soundtrack is really, really good.
That does sound cool. I want to see it.
Yeah, that's awesome, dude.
It's not a shooter, not a first-person shooter,
but just simple
precision platform where you're
collecting gems, you're collecting secrets,
you're hopping around the world and shooting little
guys on the screen.
It's fun.
That sounds cool. Yeah, guys, check that out.
Good little game for $12.
Rad Rogers. Very cool, man.
Yeah, guys. Well, hey, I do got to run,
but thanks for having me on the show again,
and I hope we... Boy, we segued
out of Call of Duty so quickly, but
I hope I answered your questions, and I'm happy
to come on and talk about other topics
relating to COD anytime you want.
Awesome, man. Thanks for coming on.
Alright, cool, guys. Take care.
See you later. Have a good one.
Woody, what kind of socks are you wearing right now?
I need socks. I am in desperate
desire for socks.
Really? I have stance socks
on right now. Ah, funny.
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That's stance.com.
Stance, the uncommon thread.
I think I may be wearing...
Yeah, yeah.
I'm wearing one stance sock right now.
You have mismatched socks.
Yeah, yeah. I got a stance sock on this foot You have mismatched socks. Yeah, yeah.
I got a stance sock on this foot
just to balance things out
so I don't feel...
It's so luxurious.
Wearing two is just...
It keeps you humble to just wear one.
Yeah, I feel like I'm putting on airs
to wear two stance socks at once.
So I put on this Russell Athletics
on the other foot,
and God, just the disparity is disgusting.
Your left foot is probably envious of your right.
It's like my right foot is in a soft
pillowy, creamy cloud
of delicious sock goodness
and my left foot is just in this rough
scratchy turd
basket or something.
I was going to tell you, your left leg is a little bit
more jittery, a little uncomfortable looking
tonight. It's noticeable. Everybody
out there is going to agree with me look at that movie look at that restlessness and you know what that's
called that's called sock induced restlessness sir for sure and this will never happen with
stance you'll sit there and your feet will be totally still you'll think am i paralyzed no
my feet are just so still i'm comfortable you know that's what you're going to be thinking
i'm always i'm a big foot tapper.
I always do that.
I'm always moving or something.
Not with stance socks.
Keeps you comfortable.
Maybe take that non-stance sock off, Kyle.
You're going to hurt yourself.
I already hurt myself.
I need the microphone really hard.
That hurt.
I'm a motherfucker.
I hit me right on the point.
God damn.
Well, check out the stance socks.
There's a link in the description.
Yeah, check out those Stance Socks.
Get yourself some socks.
I've already suffered a pretty serious injury because of this Russell sock.
You don't want that.
God damn.
Gross.
That's such a Russell thing to do.
Did he say that, Josh, did he say that that game was made in Denmark?
Did I hear that right?
I think you did, yeah.
made in Denmark? Did I hear that right?
I think you did, yeah.
All I could do was think of the
Troll Trace episodes of
South Park and that song that they sing.
That link
is, you know, you probably heard
that song,
like that whole thing making fun of them,
the Troll Trace place. That's a real
fucking Danish song, and these people
are performing it in this video like
like like the the lyrics are in what do they speak in uh denmark danish right okay not right
is it they probably got like three languages french dutch yeah dutch is it dutch because
danish is what i get at bread cup when i go there and. And Dutch is a language. Good job.
You got that name right?
Yay. So one in that column.
I had co-workers from there.
And they spoke Dutch.
I'm sure Kwebbelkop speaks...
Gibberish.
What does he speak?
86% of Danes.
The Kingdom of Denmark is only one official language, Danish, the national language of the Danish people.
But there are several minority languages spoken throughout the territory.
These include German, Feroz, and Greenlandic.
But a large majority, 86% of the Danes, also speak English.
So that's good.
Imagine being someone who only speaks Greenlandic.
Just traipsing around the world.
Everything should be like,
Dootentacity?
No?
Nobody, nobody anywhere is even trying to listen to me.
Dootentacity?
Dootentacity?
No pun.
Nootentacity?
No?
Nootin?
Like, I don't know.
He says he's definitely trying.
He's got one Twitter account he follows
to help translate it
Greenlandic
to everything
Every single show
is an abortion to watch
Those crazy ridiculous language subtitles
are just Cyrillic letters that pick up half the fucking
screen
They didn't evolve to these fucking contractions
like Russians did
Greenlandic screaming like they didn't evolve to these fucking contractions like Russians did.
Ah, Greenlandic.
Learn a real... Rosetta Stone. Jesus.
I remember hearing that Icelandic
was the most difficult of all languages to learn
because that American genius
who's maybe impaired in some
way otherwise went over there
and learned Icelandic in a day
and then the next day he goes on Icelandic national media and like learned icelandic in a day and then like the next
day he goes on like icelandic national media and is interviewed in icelandic and he carries on the
interview just fine it was out it's really impressive wow that's crazy he's like a mathematics
like um like savant like he's a savant in several little things but i don't think he's socially that
great so uh you know whatever iceland Iceland only has 323,000 people.
Really?
In all of Iceland.
I wonder if at any point in my life
I could have made the Icelandic Olympic team in something.
Oh, definitely.
I bet they bring in ringers from other countries.
I feel like even the small countries, right?
Their best athlete's a pretty impressive guy, it seems.
I think you really have to go to a sub-Saharan country
and then go to their bobsled.
It's a sport they don't play much.
Exactly.
So I suck at basketball,
but how am I compared to the other Icelandic people?
Probably not very good because
i think that they're tall probably good at the sport yeah you're probably right is this a sport
i'm good at like surfing could i have made the icelandic surfing team i could absolutely have
been you could have beaten like the uh you could have beaten the ethiopian speed skating team
right yeah i can get on it you could at least have Ethiopian speed skating team. Right? Yeah. I can spin on it.
You could at least spin on it.
Have you guys ever seen this clip
where there was a speed skating competition
and there were like five people in it?
Yeah.
And there's an Australian guy,
the only guy ever in Australia
to qualify for a speed skating thing.
And they're doing speed skating.
And as you would expect,
the guy from Finland is beating the shit
out of everyone.
This is how we get to work.
This is just another
Tuesday morning to this guy.
To old Bjork here.
Old Bjork do this every Wednesday morning
on the way to work.
The American was going to win.
On the way to the Toblerone factories.
And then he falls,
takes down the Korean guy who was also
really up there. The American guy falls.
Some other country falls. And this Australian
guy just kind of takes a bad
turn and then coasts
to victory past all these fallen bodies.
And it's hilarious to know that
that guy won a gold.
You don't know. You don't seem to
know.
That's how he got out of the semis as well.
The same thing happened twice.
That's the Olympic finals that he's telling about on how he won the gold medal. But how he got in the finals, the lead guy took out everyone else.
Literally, you or I could have done the same thing that guy did.
He got a gold medal.
Someone could have been wearing hockey skates.
Yes.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Steady wins the race.
Not usually a good strategy in speed skating.
Not usually.
Not really.
I could captain the Bali hockey team.
You know, we wouldn't do well.
No.
No.
No.
A lot of teams can't do well with hockey.
Just because most of the countries that play it are freezing,
and those countries don't have a huge population unless you're Russia.
And if you're in Russia, a lot of them have to just play soccer anyway
because they can't afford skates that aren't from 1952 made of leather.
When's America's last gold?
Is it 1980? Is the Miracle on Ice our last gold in hockey?
That wasn't...
Yeah, I think that might be our last gold.
No, no, I think we won one since then.
Did we?
Maybe.
I know that Canada wins it all the time.
Sweden's won a couple since then, I think.
It feels like Canada should win them all.
I don't know why.
I guess it's because of the population of the NHL.
I'm going to make up a number, but I'm going to say two-thirds of them are Canadian.
And then it's not that two-thirds of the best players are Canadian.
It's just that two-thirds of all of them
are. So there's an occasional like Pavel
Dotsuk or something who's as good as any
Canadian or whatever.
But, you know, it just seems like they
don't have enough to field a team. In the same way that the
American basketball team always
wins. Yeah, sure, right? You guys
have, um, is that German dude from the Mavericks American?
Or is he like – he's German, right?
Dirk Nowitzki.
Yeah, something like that.
Does he play for some other team?
I don't know.
He plays for whatever country he's from.
But he's just the guy on that team.
So the strategy for Team Germany is get it to Dirk.
He's like the Argentinian guy.
I can't recall his name.
Yeah, there's like – every team has like one guy who's real good, and then the United States has like the rest of them.
Yeah, yeah.
So that's why it surprises me that Canada doesn't win so much because it's like, yeah, yeah, yeah, sure.
The Russians can field a team with like six great players and, you know, like Sweden fields a team with six great players.
The Russians are stacked.
You know, the 22nd best guy on that team – I'm sorry. I said it wrong. Yeah, The Russians are stacked. The 22nd best guy on that team.
I'm sorry, I said it wrong.
Yeah, the Canadians are stacked.
The 22nd best guy on that team is an all-star,
and somehow they don't win every year.
That's the problem with Canadian teams
when you're playing any kind of global hockey tournament
is Canada, their second team,
like the first team Canadian, the Canada team, is so good that if you take their second team, like the first team Canadian, the Canada team, is
so good that if you take
their second team and also
put them in any tournament, and the third
team and put them in that tournament,
sure, the first team's going to be better,
but those are two very fucking
good teams. Both of those teams beat Team
USA most of the time. Both of those teams
beat Sweden most of the time. I heard something
recently about whether or not we were going
to send NHL players to the
next Olympic Games or not. And then I heard
Gretzky speaking on it, and his
comments was basically, our biggest goal
is to win the Stanley Cup. That's the biggest thing for
us to win. I like
the Olympics. I like our participation in them,
but we focus on the Stanley Cup.
He's like, I hope that we send players,
but I don't know what's coming.
So it was kind of up in the air, it seemed.
It is kind of up in the air.
By the way, as far as U.S. golds in hockey,
1980 was the last time since then.
We got silver in 2002, silver in 2010,
and fourth place in 2014.
Thank you.
So I remember there were years where the Olympics and the Flyers were good.
And it's like, shit, this is really punishing the top teams, right?
Like, do you take your best players and they get no winter break?
So if you have a team that's maybe like, you know, I don't know, the sixth best in the league,
they might be giving fewer players up to the olympics than like detroit or you know
someone who's crushing it right now you know chucks that mean all jokes aside the flyers are
literally the hottest team in the nhl right now they might be at real risk of losing like four
players or something whereas yeah i understand the thing with the olympics like like if i'm in the
nhl yeah i want to win an olympic gold if I can, but more than anything, you
want a Stanley Cup.
It's understood everywhere that the Stanley Cup, that is the prize for hockey.
You don't want the Olympic one nearly as much.
Maybe if you're not American, I guarantee Ovechkin, Tarasenko, Malkin, all the Russian
guys will definitely play for Team Russia because who knows?
They probably kept one cousin over there in a gulag just in case to make sure
that they have to come play.
I really don't like it either when I'm like,
oh man, yeah, I can't wait for Tarasenko
to go play for Russia. Oh wait,
no, I really don't because I don't want
to see him get hurt and then be like, oh, okay,
well, the one guy who's really good on
our team as a forward is
out, so fuck us.
Even if he's not hurt hurt he's fatigued right
yeah it wipes him out and and then you've got some other guy who was good but not on the team
and you know he's fresh and rested yeah every little ache and pain is now gone is there a cash
prize for that yeah let's say uh you know it's. I think so. It depends on the country, though, because I know there was one, like, I think Qatar.
No, not Qatar.
It was some, like, northern African or Middle Eastern country.
Dubai or something.
That pays, like, $150,000 per gold and, like, $60,000 per silver.
And then there are other countries, like Israel, I think, pays you, like, $10,000 if you get a gold.
Meanwhile, Obama just has decided that maybe we shouldn't tax those guys
on their medals.
Oh, my God.
I can't believe we would tax an Olympian representing a country.
Been doing it.
Always did it.
Yeah, that's to Obama's credit.
It sounded like a dig, but I like that he decided not to tax the medals.
Yeah, here's the ad.
It should.
Yeah, I mean, I'm all for Obama getting rid of taxes,
wherever he wants to get rid of them, especially for Olympians.
Yeah.
Yeah.
What is this looking at?
An extra.
Oh.
I'm not interested in that.
It's his link.
I don't care.
Yeah, I'm not interested in that.
I got a question.
What's up?
I think all of us will have input on this.
It's an AMA for people that don't know.
What is it?
$5 a month, $10 a month, and you get to ask questions,
influence the show, etc.
Kyle's looking it up.
Here's the question,
and it applies to all of us.
Hey, I'm currently apartment searching in Philadelphia
and will be moving out of my parents' house
for the first time.
I'm wondering what aspects of an apartment slash house
you guys find the most important when searching.
Are there any things to look out for?
General advice would be great.
Okay, so quickly, just for our listeners out there with Patreon, $10 per month gets you
access to the PKN video as soon as it's recorded and uploaded.
You get to submit AMA questions, and for only $5, you get the early PKA.
So, for example, we're recording this right now on Thursday night.
Right now, it's 10.40 p.m.
We're going to be done here in like half an hour.
Then it gets uploaded 20 minutes later.
So you'd have access to it right then, more or less, give or take a bit.
Picking a house or apartment, especially if you're a younger person,
I think the important things based on where you're putting it is going to be like,
where's the public transportation?
The things that you need every day, like the grocery store that you're going to get
your food at or that place where you're going to
eat breakfast every morning. It's nice if that
stuff is close.
He said outside of Boston
or inside of Boston? He said Philly.
I have a different thing. I've got
a few points. One,
I really, really, really like
having a washer and dryer
in the apartment.
Oh, yeah.
If you have – like some apartments will have like a room with a bunch of washers and dryers, maybe quarter operated.
That's a lifestyle impacting thing. When you need to devote like half your Saturday to doing your laundry and protecting it from thieves and stuff, like it's a huge upgrade to have a washer and dryer in –
And they're not that expensive.
Yeah. Yeah. If you go on Craigslist or somewhere washer and dryer. And they're not that expensive. Yeah.
Yeah.
If you go on Craigslist or somewhere and get it used, they're not expensive.
If they have a spot for it.
Yeah.
Usually I feel like maybe things change.
Yeah.
You need to make sure you have a hookup.
Yeah.
When I was young though, if there was a hookup.
Provided.
They provided them.
Yeah.
But maybe things are different.
That's important though.
You're absolutely right.
The dishwasher is nice, but the washer and dryer is king for the clothes.
The dishwasher you can live, especially if you're on your own.
It's not that bad.
The other thing that I learned, I found some great deals on apartments.
Places that seem like the structure was better than the cost was supposed to be.
And I later learned that the cost is kind of nice too.
I'll make up numbers, but hypothetically, if you found a really great apartment on the inside for $400 a month,
I guarantee you your neighbors are trash.
You almost, if you can, want to pay $1,000 a month, $1,200 a month,
just so that you have neighbors who can pay.
Who can afford.
Yeah.
You're buying better company.
Really.
People who aren't
gonna be up on tuesday at 1 a.m blaring music because they have to go to work to pay for this
place they're living in people who aren't beating their wife people who aren't selling drugs out of
this apartment or maybe you want that uh people who like don't just show up in the parking lot
with the music i was thinking you would want him beating his wife i didn't even q in that you meant
the drugs i guess if you're hurting for entertainment you can listen in for a while maybe look out the window and watch the fight but yeah
yeah like if you get a place it's four dollars a month i guarantee you your neighbors prioritize
thumping stereo systems you know in their house and in their cars right and that's that's gonna
be crazy in college when you'd be like civics outside that like glass pack or whatever it is to make it louder.
Yeah, yeah.
So sometimes it's nice to pay something that's appropriate for your budget just so that you get other people with the same budget as you.
If it's cheap, you're going to get low-class neighbors, and that sucks.
Yeah, that's absolutely true do you look at like i look at like when i was in college and i was in that by one of my apartments in college and someone would pull in
the park behind the building and have their music just booming with just loud bass heavy like hip
hop so loud it's like rattling my windows almost and i could like look out and see them just sitting
there finishing the song it's like like i just i look at those people with
so much anger and fury of like you really the same way i look at people who wear beats by dre
or any headphones playing it oh i see as they're playing it through not even on their ears it's
like you you haven't even you haven't reached the level of self-awareness of a dolphin have you
you don't understand how much of a nuisance you're being and
even worse if you understand it you're so negligent and indifferent to other people's
comfort in public that you disregard it you're a shitty person you're a shitty person if you
listen to your beats by dre your headphones on a public mode of transportation while everybody's
around you're a shitty person if you boom you're musically loud while you're parking and then wait
for the song to finish you know what you're a shitty person who's not thinking of anyone
else. They're thinking that everyone
is impressed in their
taste in music. They are, and we're
not. We're not
at all. When I hear
your loud sound system,
I'm not impressed. When I see the balls
hanging on the back of your truck, I'm not
impressed. When I see your loud tailpipe,
your smokestacks, any of that truck, I'm not impressed. When I see your loud tailpipe, your smokestacks,
any of that stuff, I'm not impressed.
But I am judging you and trying to figure you out.
It's universal healthcare.
Yeah, sure, absolutely.
Same mindset. I'm trying to figure out
what's wrong with you that made
you think that that was a cool thing.
And then I'm like, well, you're
just clearly not the kind of person that I could get along with
because our brains don't work the same fucking way
because you think having some big fake testicles on the back of your goddamn
pickup truck is fucking cool.
And I think that you're just white trash.
I never had them, but I briefly thought they were amusing.
They're amusing, sure. They would be better, though, if they were big
and separate and when you maneuver in a certain way, they clap together
and you remember that old childhood toy where you pop the two things together and go pop, pop.
That's what they should be doing.
Every time you hit up those balls, you should be hitting each other and making sparks and popping.
I get a kick out of the meta ones where they have a chain and two very large hex nuts.
Yeah, sure.
That's kind of funny.
See, now that's okay.
Actual nuts.
Hex nuts, that's a bit of a play on words.
That's a little bit cerebral.
I got to think for half a second to get your little joke.
You put actual fleshy-looking bull testicles that look like they're cut off of the bottom of an all-too-realistic dildo,
and I think you're a fucking asshole.
I think you have some sort of complex.
Although, I say you're going hard on the truck nuts and i have a bigger problem with the music i feel like you're messing up everyone else's world
more with the audio yeah i don't like the only it depends if they abuse it or not like if i'm
on the interstate and i hear you go by and it's doom doom doom i don't mind but if there are guys
and and here's the worst variety of this. You think the guys in their lowrider with their 212s in the back are annoying?
Where do you meet motorcycle music jamboree cocksucker,
the guy on the big motorcycle with the built-in sound system
that's just blaring it out to the whole fucking world with no enclosure?
He's just like, welcome to my rolling disco, faggots.
Fuck you guys like 90s punk rock.
Oh yeah. Don't worry I'll be
playing along with my Harley.
It's gonna be
80s on 8 the whole way down.
No bigger douche bag
doesn't exist. Dude I should do that.
Except it'd be all pink and Madonna.
Do it on your fucking
Spice Girls. Nah do it on your hey we're
talking about the propaganda plane yeah turn the parent turn the paramotor into a propaganda plane
like you're flying over people here attention everyone you're all faggots
so i want to get a story of like you, a North Carolina man found dropping fake news from his fairground.
Propaganda leaflets?
Saying Donald Trump was coming for you and your children.
More at eight.
You know, it shows a picture of you just scary down.
On kids and farts.
So this little stupid accessory, You mentioned Beats by Dre
And it reminded me of this thing
I'm considering adding this to my little collection
Because I think it would be cool for VR
It is a wearable sound system
That is pumping the bass
Directly into your body
So it's like a masturbating vest
No, no, so you're wearing the vest
And so imagine being in VR, right?
Gunshot happens.
You feel it.
You feel the concussion of a real explosion like you would in real life.
Oh, that's pretty cool.
You're wearing subwoofers on your body.
It's a backpack.
It's not $400.
It goes all the way around, though.
Well, the front of it is just kind of a chest strap.
Yeah, the front of it is just a strap.
It's just a bag.
You can see the girl picture.
Do you see her? Yeah, yeah, I see. Do you see? I guess, yeah, it's just kind of a chest strap. Yeah, the front of it's just a strap. You can see the girl picture. Do you see her?
Yeah, yeah, I see.
Do you see?
I guess, yeah, it's not pumping you in the stomach, huh?
Well, it's in the back.
Okay.
The sub-orders are in the back.
What an obnoxious thing to wear.
Because, like, think of the actual purpose of this.
What conceivably could this be for?
VR.
VR is the coolest thing for me.
Yeah, this guy says he sleeps with it on
sometimes. He said it's comfortable enough to do
so. My biggest thing would be
VR. I think maybe had it
really turned down low, it'd be cool for
listening to music. And especially if you're a music
engineer, I think maybe
it might add some help there.
But really, it's just a fun little gadget.
But why would you want music delivered
to the back of your ribcage?
It seems like the people who made headphones
really had it figured out.
You'd think that.
You'd have felt the difference of the sub-pack.
I just feel like if this were first
and someone came along and said,
I've got an idea.
What if we put it on their ears?
We'd all be like, that's incredible.
Yeah, I've got an idea.
They can hear it.
I think this would be a really cool VR accessory.
$350 is a little steep for it.
But the reviews are promising.
Nobody's like, this is a piece of shit.
Don't buy it.
Mine got wet.
Yeah, everybody seems to like it in the reviews.
And I just found it today.
I don't know.
I'm interested in it. If that price comes down, I it today. I don't know. I'm interested in it.
If that price comes down, I'm going to buy it, though.
I'd probably buy it.
It's pretty novel.
It's like a neat novel thing.
That's all it is.
And that's what the Vive is, too.
It's just some fanciful, ridiculous toy.
So I might add that to the mix.
I wouldn't say fanciful.
Fanciful would be conquering the world post-World War II, Kyle.
Sometimes I do that while I'm in there.
If you're feeling a little fancy.
Yeah, that's a pretty neat thing.
I'd like to try it, but I don't ever want to see someone in public wearing that, vibrating as I'm trying to just walk through Macy's.
That would just be kind of in poor taste.
New question?
Sure, what's up?
What is your best Christmas story?
Oh, my best Christmas story.
There's one I told before where we got winter coats,
but I have one I haven't told, I think.
That's a very Great Depression kind of thankful Christmas,
where it's like when we were trudging to school every day,
we finally got our winter coats. No more bull-up sex for
this chap.
The story in Fast Forward is this. We were allowed
to open one present on Christmas Eve
and my parents would
not put all the Christmas presents
so that the next day, like the big
whopper, like the prize thing would
Those are Santa's presents.
You get your parents' gifts on Christmas Eve and then claus brings you the good shit the next morning this went on
even after that distinction was done but uh um what do you mean put out like the the class b and
c presents uh on christmas eve and usually you'd have something to help us get through the night
and uh we went down there and my brother and I both saw these big boxes. They were, like, as big as that remote-controlled car box I showed earlier tonight.
And we dove for it.
Like, we saw it.
We locked on like a missile, flew through the air, grabbed it, tore at the packaging, and it was so disappointing.
They were winter coats.
It was like, this is a fake present.
Like, this is a, like, the fuck?
Yeah.
I can't have one of these.
And it was, I couldn't think of anything less exciting to me than a winter coat.
Oh, if only there was some toothpaste here, too.
Yeah.
Oh, my God.
Where are my undershirts, Mom?
To their credit, they got a good kick out of it and then let us open a second
thing. That was the only Christmas Eve where we opened two things because we got a non-present.
But there was another one. I remember my mom would hide the Christmas presents weeks before
Christmas. And my brother and I would go digging around, hunting for where the Christmas presents
were. And we found them like in the back underneath
things in my parents' master bedroom closet. My brother and I were looking through and, and we,
we like saw some of the stuff, but the one thing in particular that I loved was this large, like
foam airplane. Like it was, it was a glider. You threw it, it went a little bit, but it was big.
It was like, you know, three, four feet wide. And we saw it, and then we put it all back as carefully as we could
so that my parents wouldn't know that we had discovered the loot.
And we go downstairs, and my brother, who's two years older and smarter than me,
just didn't say anything.
He played it cool and started watching TV.
But I had a better plan.
My plan, to make them think that I didn't know what she had,
I was like, you know what I really want for Christmas?
What would be a good idea?
If you got me a large styrofoam airplane,
like a foam thing, in a plastic bag with red on the side,
and in my stupid head, I'm thinking,
she thinks I don't know that she just got this, right?
By telling her how much I think she should get this, she thinks that I don't know that she just got this, right? By telling her how much I think she should get this,
she thinks that I don't know she already got it.
This will cover the whole thing.
I'm on.
When he was 17 that Christmas, 17 years old.
Yeah, I went on and on.
Yeah, if you got us like a three-foot by three-foot styrofoam plane
that we could throw in the backyard and it would soar on its own,
you'll practice some assembly required, that would
be a good idea. And my brother's just
like... This is 2006.
This wasn't like
a great thing with Christmas, but I
used to do this to my younger brother, who's a couple
years younger than me, all for many
years, because he would get very
upset if he perceived that I
received more presents than him, to the point that
my grandma and parents would be like, we need to make sure that even if they're different presents,
that if Taylor has a certain number, you know, his brother has the same number of presents so
that nothing can be done. And so what I would do is on Christmas Eve, Christmas morning,
whenever we're opening it, he would just tear in just boom, boom, boom. Oh, this boom, boom,
boom. Oh, that. And I would tactically at like age six and seven, just being a dick,
just open my presents so slowly to make sure that when all of his presents were gone,
I'd only opened like two.
And then he'd have to look at me and watch me open all my presents.
And because he was young, he's like, hey, Taylor got more presents than me.
It's like, no taylor just opened his
presents slower he's just not opened them as quick as you no he has more than me also do this thing
where i just i just fucked with my younger brother just to fuck with him um we would go to my
grandparents house my grandma her first thing would be like you guys want to go to toys r us
we'd be like uh uh i don't know, Grandma. Yes.
And then take us to Toys R Us.
My mom would always say, I don't want you to spoil them.
I want you to make sure that they only get one toy each.
And so we'd go in there.
And the whole time, my grandma did not play by my mom's rules because she was the mother of my mom, a much higher rank.
And so she would be like, you can get as much as you want, boys.
And I would say would say no we're
only allowed one present my brother would come over with like a couple presents and be like we
can get a couple presents right grandma and i'd be like no one present just one toy and i would
relegate myself to one toy because it brought me so much joy to watch how upset he was.
You're a horrible person.
I don't know why.
I don't know why.
It really gave me a kick.
But I guess that wasn't a great Christmas story.
Kind of addictive.
Yeah, it got me.
I don't know if I have any good Christmas stories.
All my Christmases were kind of just, you know, the same, I guess.
I always got more or less what i wanted one of the one of
the big differences between my christmases and my sister's christmases is i very early on um
realized that toys are garbage and that they're going to be gone by this time next year i'm like
wait a minute where's kerplunk at because that's what i got last year where's that where's that
fucking train set that i had that i wanted so badly? Like, that shit's gone, too.
I should get some shit that'll be here next year.
And so I started asking for guns and knives and custom-made things and vehicles and ATVs.
And maybe that meant that I only got one big thing and then, like, five, you know, silly little things that might be stocking stuffers, but it meant that I would have my thing
next year and the year after, and my sister
never caught on, and she would bitch and
moan, well, he got
a thousand dollar this!
And mom's like, but that's all he got.
You got
$50 things. Look at your pile of shit.
And she's like, well, that rifle
was a scum.
I'm impressed.
But I'd get like a Remington 700 for Christmas,
and she'd get like a big pile of fucking children's toys.
And my Remington 700 that I got for Christmas is right fucking there right now.
That's it.
That is my Remington 700 7mm Magnum.
I've still got it.
I'll always still have it.
Then Barbie's is gone.
You'll pass it on to someone.
Sure.
You know what my parents did to their credit?
Taylor was talking about how even they were, and Kyle was too.
Maybe it's being raised by an accountant or my mom or what.
One person would get a cash makeup.
It'd be like, here are Pat's presents.
Here are Woody's presents.
And here is $9.27 just to even it up.
Yeah. They were even it up.
Yeah, they were even as fuck.
Are you sure you're not a Jew?
This sounds like a Hanukkah to me.
No, I'm not.
We were Christian.
We gathered around the big silly candlestick, right?
And we all got out our personal calculators and we made it right.
Remember we got TVs as a kid.
We got TVs for our room.
Which by the way is a parenting mistake, but whatever.
We had different TVs, but they had to be even.
And as we picked them out, they'd be like, no, no, no, no.
You can't have that one while he has that one.
You need to ask for a better TV because his is much better.
Mine was really tiny in color and his was bigger
black and white and had a game system in it.
They were somehow fair, even though they weren't
the same.
Yeah, like my whole childhood.
Pat had a better bedroom.
When we switched houses, I got the better bedroom.
You know what would have been a great scenario?
Maybe you didn't have the camaraderie or the
brotherly love to make this happen. Would it be like, you know what, man?
We could get one big color TV if we just combined our forces here.
You get it Monday through – Mondays, Wednesdays, and Saturdays, and I'll take the rest of the days or something.
Was there ever any of that where the two of you were like, look, we've got to put our heads together here.
Maybe we'll get a big thing.
I want to ask a divorcee if that's a better idea like you know he's joint custody
better than like two tvs i feel like they would know that depends if he's abusive or not
i don't have any great christmas stories though i i'm having to think of like they were all good
christmases i never had a bad christmas I'll definitely say that. I've been very fortunate in that. I'm sure there are people who have
horror stories.
Taylor's had
an interesting Christmas one year, I know.
All of my Christmases
have been happy Christmases.
I always got enough
gifts to make myself feel like
I was...
Make me happy, I guess. Everybody around me
got gifts. This year, I'm buying my dad a bunch
of stuff. I decided that I should do like a
12 days of Christmas for him. So every time I go over there, I bring
him something different. I brought him a wallet
the other day, and then I brought him some
socks, which may sound like
a shitty gift, but it's a perfect gift for him.
They're like $28
a pair, these merino wool
size
11 to 15 wool socks. And I i took him over there he's like
i can't really wear socks he's like they're always too tight i'm like yeah you're getting
8 to 11 8 to 8 size 8 to 12 these are 13 to 15s he's like oh wow and uh and then today i got him
a uh a really nice uh like uh it's like a button-up flannel shirt, but on the inside it's like fleece.
It's like a $100 shirt.
Oh, yeah.
And he immediately put it on and was like, oh, yeah, this is nice too.
One year we got my father pajamas.
And it seemed like year after year after year we were picking out what we thought he would want.
And then finally we got him something that he wanted.
Loved it.
Loved it.
They're stupid pajamas.
Like they weren't anything nice.
Like you're describing things of great quality, hundred dollar shirts no no no these were like 14 pajamas
but they were just what he wanted and yeah it he was really happy with them yeah he uh he he has no
uh interest in spending any money at all on clothing so he's always in he's he always looks
cold you know it's cold over there and and he's uh, he's got like bronchitis right now
So I was like this fucking coat on now Jesus Christ. You look terrible over here
That little dog we rescued looking very hard heart. That's great. Nah, he's not
No, he's got I don't know what kind of jacket he's got but it's not a Carhartt or anything
He's not into that
He's definitely not like into that redneck cowboy boot kind of mentality
of we have our working man's uniform
with Dickies and Carhartt
and Georgia boots or anything. He just kind of
picks up what he sees on the shelf. Carhartt's just
pretty high quality. Yeah, I feel like I
dust off my Carhartt and I look
kind of put together. I mean, not
dressed out. It depends. They got a bunch
of different cuts. I'm thinking about one specific
that I always see working guys wear. I'm not shitting on carhartt or anything i don't
know if i have that one or not but i will say that uh in my eyes anyway a dusted off carhartt
you know doesn't look so bad but they're very warm and they're tough and hearty uh good stuff
yeah i i think i've said this before but we have one that currently fits both my son and my wife and they wear it when they carry in firewood and there's just something abrasion
resistant about it that's perfect for that task yeah yeah for woody and taylor primarily
who we guys be picking to win the stanley cup this year um i don't need to answer about my
black feet they're gonna no this is this is uh kyle gets
to answer as well yeah and you black black feet yeah the black feet gonna go up against the uh
the penguins um and uh there's your stanley cup black feet winning overtime don't worry that is
a thing that could actually happen of course it is except yeah you know yeah that's what's gonna
happen you heard it here first i said before the season started, Blackfeet are going to win their division,
and now I'm going a step further.
They're going to win the Stanley Cup, beating the Penguins in seven games
because that's possible, right?
Yes.
That would be as long as it could go.
Here's what I'm going to call, so long as we're doing long shots,
I think the Flyers are going to go deep into the playoffs,
and I bet they do it with call-ups from the AHL that currently aren't playing.
The Eastern Conference Finals is deep, you think, or second round?
Eastern Conference Finals.
Okay, that is a bold prediction.
I think Tampa Bay is going to have a good end to the season.
They've got Stephen Stamkos, one of the best players in the NHL,
injured right now, but I think he's on IR,
which means that, or no, I guess they can't,
they might not be able to do the bullshit that the Blackhawks did a few years ago
where Patrick Kane got hurt.
They put him on IR, which took his salary off their books, and they were
able to add more people. And then he came back in the playoffs, and they basically cheated their way
into a Stanley Cup in 2015. But I think I'm saying that to be salty, basically. But it's also they're
changing rules because they did something where they're like, hey, that's not fair. They're like,
no, take these backsies. And then they finished the season. I think Tampa Bay or Pittsburgh in the east.
I'm going to go with Pittsburgh just because Crosby is having an incredible season.
So I think Pittsburgh is going to win the Stanley Cup to be the first team.
Is he winning a gold in diving maybe?
No, just more goals per game than anyone in the NHL right now.
He's a pussy.
And he can't grow a beard.
I'll tell you what.
I would take you over Crosby in a beard you can i would i'll tell you what i would take you over
crosby in a beard growing contest i would take that too as far as like an nhl hockey player
crosby definitely wins in that one yeah you pick and choose your battles i think penguins are going
to be the first team to repeat a stanley cup victory in the cap era and that hasn't been done
yet i know the penguins repeated were they the
last team to repeat they repeated in like the 90s they might be because they were i think they
repeated when they had lemieux and jogger am i crazy did the blackhawks just repeat recently or
no black there was a year separated right yeah there were years there was in one case two years
separating in another case one year separating so no team in the cap era has won back-to-back stanley cups but i think that pittsburgh
really has a good shot at it so you know why they won't because they will have to get past
the flyers and the flyers beat up pittsburgh like they were their bitch historically
historically no i don't know i don't know i in the playoffs historically i'm pretty sure pittsburgh
really really gives it to the flyers don't they i don't follow the eastern conferences much so i i
that's not a fact i i think the actual truth is this i have to look it up i think that historically
the flyers like beat the fuck out of pittsburgh for a long time and they know regular season and
they've kind of turned that franchise around um that's that's where i think it is but i'm not sure i think kyle's got a good guess with the
black feet um they and if there is it they're my pick from the west right now really if they like
third in that division no they're in first in the division chicago they're they're doing way better
this season than i thought they would and so they're looking great and but i don't they're in first in the division. Chicago. They're doing way better this season than I thought they would.
And so they're looking great.
But they're not better than Pittsburgh.
They're just not.
Pittsburgh has more talent than any team in the league.
I'm convinced.
That's why it goes to game seven.
They're going to have a lot of injuries.
The fact that they got Phil Kessel from Toronto.
Yeah, Phil's going to get hurt.
Phil Kessel is the guy who looks like he manages an Arby's,
but he makes $7 million a year or whatever.
Yeah, he's going to get concussed early in the conference finals.
You think so?
Yeah, he won't be all there for the Stanley Cup.
He won't have the grit determination.
Well, he'll be there. But he won't be lucid enough to really
hit all
those pucks the way he needs to. He won't be able
to hit all those homers out of the rink.
He won't be able
to get it out of the rink at all.
What gives meaning to your life?
There's another AMA question.
Life has no meaning, just so you know.
There's no meaning to life it's just
a big fucking joke
no matter how hard you
no matter what the strife or the struggle that you
endure through no matter how hard you work
you know you'll be forgotten
in a fairly short amount of time
and you'll mean nothing my grandfathers
mean nothing to me my great grandfathers
mean nothing to any of us here most likely
not mine but our own.
Those guys don't matter. They gave us life,
but that's it. We don't fucking care about them. And if you go
one more generation, we don't even know their names, right?
So none of that matters. You don't matter.
I would just
try to focus on doing
kind things to other people.
For other people. Don't do them to other people.
They might not want it.
They have to consent to those
kind things first.
Otherwise it's just rape, I've found.
Rape's never kind. At least that's what the DA
said. I don't know. We'll see.
I think it's kind of refreshing.
It would be nice
if I felt or I believed there was
a meeting because it gives you some
closure of like, alright, well Christianity
is the way to go. That's what I believe. If I do if i do this that and the other it'd be wonderful to believe on yeah
even on death's door i'll i'll be comforted and you know that's something i'm jealous of like i
wish you could face death with a smile if i thought that after this i'm going to paradise
like i'm just like oh i'd love to go fight in a crusade for for jesus christ oh yeah absolutely
let's go blow themselves up for it every day.
It's a very compelling thing.
We blow ourselves up too.
We shit on that,
but we blow ourselves up too
if it came down to it.
We'd do it.
We would.
I wouldn't.
Yeah, absolutely you would.
They kill your family.
They rape your wife.
They burn your house to the ground.
They run over your beliefs.
They disrespect your country. They do this and to the ground. They run over your beliefs. They disrespect your country.
They do this and that.
You have no way of recourse.
You have no way to fight back.
The bombs are coming from the air every day.
You're just madder and madder.
And every day they take one more loved one away
till life has no meaning anymore.
Till there's nothing but the imam in your ear
telling you about paradise.
Telling you that the enemy is the devil.
Eventually you're like, yeah, absolutely.
I'm going to go blow the devil up're eventually you're like yeah absolutely i'm
gonna go blow the devil up and go see god it's a detailed picture like in if that's the way my life
was going kyle might be right boom yeah it could be like if but still if the prerequisite is a
promise of something to come like you couldn't convince some or maybe you could i don't know
maybe you probably have a tougher time convincing some hard atheists to go blow themselves up or something.
Because I'll be like, no, like life's meaningless.
Maybe I accomplished something, but then I'm out.
I'm snuffed like a candle.
No more for me.
Like I don't, like I was saying, like that's kind of also a little bit freeing, you know, to know that there's not some, or to believe that there's not some overarching power out there.
Analyzing every little thing you do, all your thoughts and thoughts and emotions and like you know really putting that under a microscope it's kind
of nice to know like you know this is this is just the world like 100 years from now i'm not really
much more important than the rabbit i saw walking in today like it doesn't really matter we'll both
be dead my my great-grandchildren or whatever they if anything i will be a picture that they ask a quick question about on Thanksgiving.
And they go, hey, who's this?
And they'll go, oh, that's your jackass great-great-grandpa.
He was one of the first idiots to storm the internet
and make an ass of himself in public.
He's the reason why we have to special order your helmet.
Yes, he gave us...
Oh, God, it took me a while to figure that out.
He passed the big-headed gene.
See, all right, I was coming at this from a different place.
What gives meaning to your life?
I guess my life is about the relationships with the people in it.
Like that's what I'm about.
And, you know, that's my wife, that's my kids, that's guys like you.
That's, I guess that's my meaning, that's my kids, that's guys like you. That's, I guess, that's my meaning.
Maintaining and valuing the relationships
from the people that I know.
That's what I'm about.
That's a very altruistic, very nice way of looking at it.
It's not just altruistic, though.
There's a selfish nature to it, and there should be.
To all charity, I suppose, and all acts of goodwill,
it feels good to do good.
It feels good to give someone a thing that they need or to be thoughtful about them.
Maybe we've all been in this circumstance where someone was thinking about you.
They had their own stuff going on.
I saw a thing on 4chan the other day, and the guy was his dad's dad.
And he was going back and looking through his dad's things
and he found these gaming magazines from when he was a kid and what had been going on is while his
dad was working two jobs he was really trying to connect with his son because there'd been a
divorce and his dad while at work had been going through these gaming magazines circling the games
and writing notes. Billy would like this one. He would love this. He mentioned he liked this and that. Should I buy this one or that one or work more hours and buy both? And he's just
crying as he reads through his dead dad stuff to see that his dad was thoughtful thinking about him
while he was off trying to earn a living and stuff that he was always in the back of his head.
When someone does that for you, it feels so nice.
Just like the smallest compliment
that you pay someone, especially
if it's a worthwhile compliment.
It's really a thing that they do well or that you see
that they're striving to be good at.
When you tell someone they're good at something like that,
they really take it to heart and it means a lot to them.
I know every time I've received that compliment, it meant
a lot to me. I remember hanging out with
Paolo, who does the editing for Funker Tactical,
and being like, you're an amazing editor.
You can, you know, because we were talking through this thing,
and I've kind of got a flowing storyboard in my head when it comes to editing things.
I know how they should fit together and how it should flow.
And I'm like, you've got that too.
You're very good at this.
I really like your work.
You do good work.
I don't have to stand behind you.
I was like, you've already done what I had in my head. This is brilliant. And I remember that meant a lot to him,
but there's been little things like that, that I have gotten from people that meant a lot to me
about things that mean a lot to me that I do. And it feels really good. So I think that that's the
best way to live a happy life and be a good person is to, is to be thoughtful and to be looking at
other people and what they're doing and get inside their heads and try to make them feel good.
If you were to ask me great like, what's your current state?
Are you happy?
Are you sad?
Are you proud?
Are you whatever?
So much of that is wrapped up into my relationship with the people in my life at the time.
You know, like if I'm not doing well right now, it's probably because Jackie fussed at me.
You know, if I'm not doing right now, it's probably because some, you know, disagreement I had with Hope.
If I'm not doing right now, it's probably because of some disagreement I had with Hope.
Those are the core things that impact where I am.
You said it was altruistic, and that's a kind view of it, but it's not just that.
It's that, I don't know, even my personal side, how at peace I am with how things are going,
has a lot to do with how things are going with the people in my life.
Yeah, yeah.
That makes a lot of sense because we all live together.
You're one cohesive unit there
in the cave, as it were.
It's a tight band of people.
I don't really have that.
I've got a lot.
Mine's a little more extended out, I guess.
I've got my dad,
who I'm ultimately close to.
But outside that,
there's just a bunch of close friends
that I feel like.
And there's not that many people that, you know, I trust.
Because if anyone who's older than fucking 25 knows that you can trust about one in a million fucking people.
So if you find someone that you can trust, you know, you can just hand them your wallet.
Or you can leave them alone with your things.
And you can trust them to be on your team even if it's not in their best interest.
That's a real valuable and worthwhile thing to hang on to.
I was talking on PKN the other day about how it turned out that Josh and his little brother were stealing from us.
They were stealing everything from an air horn of mine that was sitting in the shop.
And the purpose of that air horn is it's my air horn.
I know it's there.
I remember fucking purchasing it. It's there for when we're down range shooting the cannon and you need
to signal back up top to let them you know know whether it's safe or whether the thing's about to
fire or whatever it's a real safety measure they stole it um you know dad would they stole the
change out of dad's truck you know maybe ten dollars worth of quarters they stole cash you
stole cash from me i I'm almost 100% positive
because my dad described a scenario in which they had basically stolen the cash he keeps above his
visor in his truck. He'll break a $20 bill for, say, a $13 purchase, and there's seven bucks now
that he just keeps above that visor for whatever, you know, later. And they would pilfer that.
There was a dollar bill in his shop refrigerator where a friend had paid for a Coca
Cola as they, you know, they took a drink, left the bill to be polite. And that gave my dad the
idea of let's add a dollar a day and see how many dollars it takes before these guys will steal from
me. Three dollars, took three dollars. And then of course they came over to my house to cut the
grass. I think I was paying him 70, 80 bucks to do it, real quick job anyway. And that's what I paid a pro beforehand, so it seemed fair enough.
And I had the money in my car, and then it just wasn't there when it was pay time.
I now know that they stole that money out of my car.
I'm almost 100,000% sure.
And then I'm like, huh, my money's missing.
I kind of remarked about it, and they just didn't say anything.
And I was like, well, I'll go to the ATM and get some more money and and the last straw of course the one
that broke the camel's back was that they took my dad's UTV his Kubota UTV
it's like a four-wheel drive off-roading diesel-powered farm vehicle and they
took it out mud-bogging in the middle of his pond and uh and without his permit oh kyle just dropped oh we lost him yeah they took it mud
bog they took it mud bogging out on his pond without permission or anything like that and
then took his john deere tractor out there to try to get it out and so long story short they've been
cursed out and banished from uh from our realm but uh i think dad was a lot more polite than i
i'm going to be if i see them again. I'm going to
fucking cuss them the hell out.
And I hope he says something. I'd like to slap
him. He's a fucking asshole,
man. I hate a thief. And
we've helped them so much, so
much, so much.
He's a real charity case. The guy's
borderline illiterate. He's got no
high school education. Neither one of them do.
They have no job do. They have no
job outlook. They have no cash.
They're giving him busy work. That makes it so much worse,
right? Oh, his vehicle.
We got him his vehicle.
When you first get a vehicle
as a young man or woman,
there's a couple hurdles. You've got to get your insurance.
You've got to get the car road
worthy. You've got to get the car.
There's a lot of money that you need up front maybe a couple thousand dollars at least if even i we were there
for them with all of that you know like oh yeah you do need a vehicle let's get you on the road
buddy really taking care of this guy like he was a member of the family or something and just
fucking thieving from us in a way that's unforgivable, I don't blame you. Fuck that guy. Like, he ruined a great thing
of going over to you,
getting an easy 80 bucks
for doing some quick labor,
and you were fine with it
because you felt good
and you're helping somebody out.
You know, obviously, like...
Oh, I'd overpay him.
It feels good to do stuff like that.
Yeah, you're overpaying him
because you're like,
this $20 to me isn't that much,
but I imagine this extra $20 to him
is going to be a really big deal.
This will make his evening to get this $20 back. That's exactly what happened time and time again.
I'd be like, you know, maybe, maybe I owe them a $70, but I've got 80. Well, here, take $80.
You know, I bet that 10 bucks is going to go a lot longer in your pocket than it would in mine.
Go ahead, take it. You know, Oh, you need a little more work. Well, I'll give you 15 bucks to take
all those cardboard boxes
and flatten them out and throw them in the bin.
Just really nice to those guys in a way that it's hard to come by in the world
because everybody's looking out for themselves,
and that's just unforgivable for me.
Real scummy, white trash is what that is.
That is a very white trash.
I've got people like that in my history too.
I would love
to tell the story but i think our viewers would figure out like who people are sure yeah you know
how that is these guys another little thing on how shitty they are um stole he stole chainsaws
from his own father and then blamed a third party individual who was then banished from his father's
place turned out of course the boys had stolen from their own father but yeah when someone's bad to
you like if a stranger robs you that's one thing but a guy who you've been treating so much better
than they've treated you for the last whatever six months couple years and then and then they
like just turn the screws a little harder and fuck you good you're just like ah like how could you
how could you i've been so much better to you than you've ever returned.
And let's get the fuck out of my life.
Yeah, it's it's it's it's hard to find people, like I said, that are trustworthy, that are going to be interested in a fucking symbiotic relationship.
Everybody wants to be a fucking parasite.
You know, it's it's it.
But it is the world we live in.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah. There are a lot of people...
That's why being a good judge of character
is such a valuable skill.
You almost wish you had a little team of advisors
around with you all the time.
Did you see him do anything?
Yeah, I saw his cheek move a little
when he offered you that money.
I think he's lying.
You can't fucking trust me.
Like that ridiculous show, Lie to Me,
where you're like, oh, his eye twitched,
so me and my brilliance, I know he's lying.
Like, no, are you sure he just doesn't,
he didn't get a little nervous?
Imagine doing that on me.
I'd be like a constant liar.
That son of a bitch has been lying to me
for 12 hours straight.
His name is Matt Woodworth from New Jersey.
We'll get to the bottom of this
for six years it's been nothing but lies is that fucker twitches all night long
like Albanian terrorists all right me gore get me one more time you know
bombing of the loose lines Kyle phrased that so well there are so many people who when presented with a
symbiotic relationship will see like ah so this is an even good relationship that's a win-win
how can i turn this more in my favor you know how can i switch from symbiosis to parasitic and
yeah yeah yeah you killed the goose you cocksucker yeah you kill the goose, you cocksucker. Yeah, you killed the goose when you changed the gear.
Or any other idioms you want to throw in there.
Fuck you.
Fat, illiterate piece of shit.
I'm glad you broke your hand.
Yeah, I'm glad you're fat.
I'm glad of both.
Sticky fingers.
If this were Saudi Arabia, they'd cut off that broken hand of yours.
I'd like to cut it off myself.
He'd have been dead
the second that that
$3 disappeared out of the Coke
fridge.
Not a lot of forgiveness there.
It's like in the episode
of Parks and Rec when the
Venezuelan embassy
guys come over the sister city to
pawnee and obviously there it was a socialist country and so they're all part of the government
so they're all fucking loaded talking about their estates and like how it's run and they're saying
like you know well how do you run it in venezuela he's like you know uh government run everything
you disobey government jail you start your government? Jail. You start your own business? Jail. You don't start your own business?
Also jail.
Venezuela has the best citizens in the world.
And the best jails.
It's just funny
because it's like, yeah, they just
do what they want. It fucking works
out for them. Like, same kind of thing.
I hate that
fucking guy. I keep getting that vibe
i don't like that at all i don't care share my stories i'd very kind to him yeah i give him
gifts and shit like they come over i'd give him a drone or something i'm like yeah i got 30 of
these drones have a drone i gave him a bunch of stuff you know i just like give them things i've
got lots of extras and duplicate items of gun
accessories and all kinds of freebies
I've got. And I just give them.
There are a lot of people who think it's okay to steal
from someone, provided that they have a good bit more than you.
That's true. Yeah, I don't care
for that either. I often fall the victim
to that one, I think.
You know, I think people
in my life will see me get
some free pair of ballistic glasses.
I know Jeremy has stolen stuff from me, but I don't mind.
Because he stole little stuff that I didn't really want anyway.
He stole some ballistic glasses from me one time.
Sunglasses that can withstand a.22 caliber impact.
Those things look lame.
They look like old school Oakleys.
I'm never going to wear those things.
Fucking take them if you think those look cool.
Yeah, he was doing a little bit of spring cleaning for you really honestly yeah more or less i wasn't gonna wear i mean he probably knew that i wouldn't be shocked
if someday jeremy does something that crosses the line for you he has before you know that time that
he was speaking ill of me to the the guy at ea uh you know that that was a that was a couple steps too far that was his biggest offense I think
yeah he got corrected that time
we were talking about
first of all it was my fucking idea
I dreamed the thing up
I was like yeah we should have fucking explosives
on planes flying in the air and then I'll just shoot them down
they'll explode it'll be cool
honestly that's not a challenge for me at all
I can do it one fucking handed
and I'll hit it almost every single time.
I really can.
Left handed, right handed, whatever.
I'll shoot the shotgun like a pistol.
I've done it.
Kyle's good at shooting all guns,
but he's very good with shotguns.
Lots of practice, lots of repetition.
I've got it down.
It's just not that hard,
as long as it's not like a skeet that's falling away from you
and going 60 miles an hour and doing something nuts.
So shooting a big styrofoam airplane loaded
with explosives is child's play.
And he's there with somebody else
and talking to some
high up guy at EA who's over at our
place and he's like,
I don't know if Kyle can hit that.
He might not be able to do it. And this guy's like,
really? You don't think he can do it? Like, take it
Jeremy, seriously!
And I'm just like, and then I hear about take it jeremy seriously i'm just like and then i hear
about this after the fact and i'm just like motherfucker i can do that shit blindfolded
first of all and if i can't it sure as hell isn't his place to be telling the guy signing the big
fat fucking check that i can't like fucking dummy like what he criticized you about is almost as
important as the circumstances right if he was i't know, I can't think of something.
If he was like, I don't know if Kyle can tie a tie, like this might go wrong.
He knows I can't.
Oh, I didn't know that.
But let's say you could.
It's not something that you have any sense of self-worth wrapped up in, you know?
But shooting a shotgun, like what do you mean i can't shoot a
shotgun i put so much effort into being good at this don't throw stones at that yeah i didn't
like that at all and and the main thing was that like it was a shitload of money we were making
from this thing and it was like why are you telling this this this guy this money fountain
that that seems to really like me in the business that we're doing together that i'm not good at the
job that he's paying me to do.
Like, do you have any idea of the gravity of this situation?
No, he does not.
No, you're actively sabotaging me, is what you're doing.
I don't think you could explain gravity either.
I cussed him out.
I cussed him out big time and threatened him real good.
And that was the end of that.
But he capitulated. He was like, oh, I'm i'm sorry i don't understand and that's what i'm
looking for that was the reaction i wanted because because like you just wanted to a step too far
here you can't fucking do that that's that's not appropriate especially when he's working for me
right like i sign your paycheck he signs mine shut the fuck up yeah if you want this stream to keep coming
through this ought this to keep trickling down you better shut the fuck up yeah now that they
say trickle-down economics doesn't work but jeremy is a prime example of this succeeding
you know trickle-down economics is a failure what you need is for the government to get all the money and then the government sprinkles
it down as a distribution.
It's sprinkled down
economics. That's the solution.
Basic income.
Oh, you know what?
These guys
cut through my front yard.
I was in my front yard. I'm flying remote
controlled airplanes, right? So they're buzzing around, whatever. And I'm clearly like there in my yard and it's my place.
And three kids cut through the front yard, not by a little, like acres into it. And I'm like, hey,
and they're like, it's okay. Like they get to decide that. And I was mad and like, I didn't
know how to handle it. I really didn't. I what the fuck you know like where's my gun I think I
might have said that and it turns out that was inappropriate because they were
black like that apparently made that less appropriate I didn't even know that
was a thing but the guy was with assured me that because they were black I
shouldn't have said that I don't know what do you have to treat people
differently based on the color of their skin.
Now I know.
Okay.
They matter.
Well, that makes me almost as mad as Jeremy now.
As Josh now.
I'm like, well, fuck those cocksuckers.
Yeah.
The big problem.
They're getting pepper balls.
They were just like, yeah.
They didn't capitulate, right?
If they had started to sort of jog to get out of the way a little quicker or they were like like just some indication that they got caught but they were walking like
they own the place yeah and i own the place you know and and uh i i really didn't do anything like
what was i supposed to do they were like 14 oh i i'd have been like this is private property we
don't like trespassers here if i see you again. We're calling the police
It's fucking boom
There's no like hey boys. How you doing? And they're across the way like by the time I call
Vehicle we're going to get them. Yeah, that's that that crossed my mind cuz I had the golf cart
But I'm like how big an asshole do I look to like hop in my golf cart and tell people to stay off my not an
asshole I look to hop in my golf cart and tell people to stay off my estate. Not an asshole at all. It's really not.
No, I'd have hopped in the golf cart with a shotgun,
and it would have been sitting next to me when I spoke to them.
Like, look, this is private property.
This is where my family lives.
I don't like people being out here.
You boys don't need to come on this property again.
Oh, don't call them boys.
Or the police.
It would have been as simple as that.
What do you mean, boy?
Well, you're a child.
Fuck you. But it would have been like that. that. What do you mean, boy? Well, you're a child. Fuck you.
But it would have been like that.
I don't want anyone trespassing on my property or getting the idea that, you know, it's casual to be out there.
Because what happens the next time you see them snooping around somewhere?
Going to steal something maybe, you know.
If I'm walking across your property, I might see two or three things I might want to pick up and take with me.
Yeah, that's not unreasonable at all.
You've got a lot of expensive stuff sitting around.
They're probably not just ignoring the fact
that there are cool toys and buildings.
Just Trayvon?
What are you doing out here?
Yeah, you should drive up to him.
Nicknaming him Trayvon would have been hilarious.
But yeah, maybe next time.
You know, this is private property.
We're going to call the police if we see you again have a great day
and then drive away
yeah
I just didn't like them cutting across
I didn't even
think about the thievery angle of it
I was really about just an invasion of space
like
I worked hard for a
lifetime to own a buffer around
me and they just cut through it your acres into your yard yeah you should have driven up and
stopped with your shotgun there and just been like it wasn't available but go on like how long
do you think it would take you guys to run to the end of my yard?
I don't know, but probably this long.
Well, you got 30 seconds.
And I'm not going to wait from here.
I'll be following you real close.
Worst part is, I started counting before I pulled up.
You're at 22.
You best get to stepping, you know stepping. Johnny Laws is coming.
I don't even know how the Castle Doctrine works.
Can you literally shoot trespassers?
You can.
They'll probably get upset.
You gotta get them all so there's only one story to tell.
But yeah.
Don't get this twisted audience.
I'm not
planning out my next steps or anything.
I just wondered like hypothetically, like I didn't have a gun with me or anything.
I actually did have a gun with me, but I didn't have any showpiece with me.
And I just was like, yeah, I know you can shoot people who are in your house,
and I think you can shoot people who are on your property.
But if they're literally like 14-year- old kids obviously taking a shortcut across the corner that can't be legal can it like
how far does his castle doctor well you don't shoot him on sight for sure um i think the best
bet would be to do what we said just just give him a yeah just be like hey don't come here and then
see what happens next hey you don't come here and then
we see what they say that that's the biggest issue the biggest issue i had was there was no
capitulation it was like yeah i hear you you know like like like they belong there like they own the
place if there was any kind of like like you know dude if i'm crossing the street and there's a car
obviously waiting on me i put a little hustle on it.
I recognize that.
That's what good people do.
Yeah.
Hustly walk.
Yeah.
Right, right.
I can see that you've decided to let me go and sort of stay out of my way.
So I'm going to try and get out of your way too.
That's all I wanted.
A little like, you know, I'm moving.
But they were like, you know, don't worry about it.
No, I get to choose that.
And were they taking their sweet time sauntering across, I bet?
Neither fast nor slow.
They were completely indifferent.
You should have come out like Mad Max on one of those go-karts.
Start doing circles around him really fast.
Witness me!
Me in one, Colin in the other
just like
throw one of those spinny
things and loop it around his foot and start well don't
start dragging him then we got another hate crime
there's so many rules about what you can't do
black people when they trespass
hell yeah
give a black a white, man. Nobody'd
say a fucking word.
Yeah.
I don't know where they were
going or where they were coming from. I was gonna say
they were coming home from school because they had backpacks on.
But that doesn't make sense.
Those bags.
They wouldn't...
They were coming from like a different subdivision
If people see enough aerial views in my house
There's like a subdivision on either side of us
And then where I live is this like
Little oasis of space that I own
They were going from one subdivision to the other
There's no way a school bus would not
Take them closer to their house
So
I like the way your house is very assault ready
There's a lot Of visibility from the home.
You're not sneaking up.
We need an observatory with a telescope.
No, we need a parapet.
You need a medieval-style parapet,
like one of those big areas where the archers stand, basically,
and shoot off with the blocks of stone.
I've got a dushka. Stay up there. I think of stone. I've heard of a dushka.
I think that's what it's called.
A dushka?
Kyle?
Dishka.
Dishka.
Very close.
A dushka shoots a...
It's just a big water hose.
Clean.
You can take down a helicopter with a dushka.
That's a serious piece. I think it's a 20 millimeter. I think it is. They're often mounted on the helicopter with a dish gun.
That's a serious piece.
I think it's a 20 millimeter.
I think it is. They're often mounted on the back of a Tacoma,
which is really appropriate for my situation.
But yeah, we should have a parapet with a dish gun,
and then I can handle business until they shoot back.
You have sprinklers.
Which point I realize it's just like standing in a window at Call of Duty.
Turn your sprinklers on if you can.
Do you have a sprinkler system in the yard?
I don't.
That would be like an irrigation system.
It would be a lot of sprinkler.
Yeah, sprinkler system is not a great idea when you're starting a third of the season.
It's a 12.7 millimeter.
Okay.
Although an irrigation system would do the job that much better, right?
Imagine one of those things that shoots like an acre.
They used to be in the farms and rural areas, yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
I used to fly over the farms on my way to California and stuff,
and you'd see circular crops.
And I'm like, what's that all about?
Then I realized, oh, there's irrigation in the middle,
and it's just how they water. Makes sense. Well, is that a wrap?
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