Painkiller Already - Painkiller Already #329
Episode Date: April 14, 2017This week on PKA, fan of the show, and world's most interesting man, Ahmed comes on the show to tell stories about his life, like being a translator during the Iraq War, and a car bomb attack that we...nt off near him. Also the guys all discuss Magic The Gathering and the Syria attack that happens during the recording of the show.
Transcript
Discussion (0)
You did it, Kyle. That was just about right.
BKA episode 329 with our guest Ahmed. Kyle?
We have many, many sponsors tonight.
No, not really. We have NatureBox, Dollar Shave Club,
Seeso, Bowling Branch. That's a new one, I think, for us.
And Tracker. We'll talk about each of those later on in the show.
Of course, there are links down in the description if you just can't wait.
You've got to learn more about Bowling Branch right this second.
But if you can wait, we've got a really cool guest tonight, I think.
Chiz has informed us that you are a big fan of the show. You watch, at least keep up to
date with it. You know who we all are. And he said that you follow politics and global
happenings and such. But what's really interesting, I think, is that you're from Iran. Is that
right? And then you immigrated to Iraq for a while?
Actually, the other way around.
Okay.
Interesting. you immigrated to Iraq for a while? Actually, the other way around. Okay. My mother and father are
Iraqis, but
they migrated to Iran in the
90s, running away from
Saddam's regime. That was after my
family.
My parents went there, went to
Iran, and then I was born.
In 2003, when the regime
went away and America liberated
Iraq.
A little freedom.
You're welcome by the way.
You're welcome.
Free Americans, thank you. They liberated Iraq. We went back against the will of my
father because my father at the time was in Australia trying to secure a little gathering for us there. So that also
ruined his plans to cope there because he was planning on us coming from Iran.
So we went back to Iraq and lived there from 2003 to 2010 and then we migrated
to Europe finally. How old are you? Yeah I to say, this is a lot of history for someone who's 13 years old.
I look a lot. I'm 27, actually. I'm almost 27. Okay. Yeah, I was born in, well, I mean, 26.
I was born in almost 27. I was born in 1991 in Iran. But yeah, I do look young. My brother always gets the thing. People tell him that he looks older than me and I look younger than him. So I do get that a lot. I do look young. So I guess that's a good thing.
Because I am so removed from it and I have no idea of any of the happenings.
What are just, you said you were a translator for a while there.
How old were you when you were doing that?
And what was that like?
Was that for U.S. forces or just?
Yeah, so that's also another crazy, crazy story. I, in 2004, like maybe beginning of 2005, the dates are kind of blurry for me at the moment.
But in beginning of 2005 2005 let's say I used
to live with my aunt with my family which we were all living in there and that was behind
a very big shrine mosque Al Sahla it's called in Najaf Al Kufa you guys all know it of course
and yeah so the militia Al Mahdi militia that were insurgents following Muqtada al-Sadr,
which were militia in the south controlling the region.
At the time, the coalition decided that the Spanish and Italian forces and some Polish forces
would control that region because it was the most stable.
And Baghdad and Tikrit and all those unstable regions would go to US troops, UK and other
forces.
Anyway, so those militias had a lot of control on the region.
And I used to go there a lot with my parents and they heard me once speaking Farsi, which
is Iran's language, which I was of course born and raised there.
I speak Farsi as fluently Iran's language, which I was of course born and raised there. I speak Farsi
as fluently as I speak Arabic. And they just asked me, I was like 14 or 15 years old, and
they were like, hey, would you mind translating for us? So I went ahead and translated for
a few people.
Well, hang on, wait a minute.
No real labor laws.
Hang on a second.
Yeah, go ahead.
So you're 14 years old, and what nationality were these?
50, maybe.
Okay, what nationality were these guys?
Oh, oh.
Were these Iraqi soldiers who asked you to do this?
No, no, no soldiers, but insurgents and militia that were used to secure shrines.
Ah, okay.
And places that are public that could be eventually targeted for car bombing or terrorist attack and stuff.
Okay.
So they would search people that would
try to enter the shrine and basically patting them down and uh and all that so basically i used
to stand there well at the start i translated for a few people and the need for a translated
kept coming up so they just when they saw me again they were like hey you should come on like
sort of a part-time thing how much does a job like this pay when you're 14 years old?
It didn't pay anything at the beginning.
Fuck!
Wow.
I want to picture this.
Are you giving goods or services?
So you and this military guy are standing outside of, like, a site that you're trying to protect from someone potentially walking in with a bomb.
You're the translator.
So you're standing right next to the guy who's, like, the point man to stop the bomb right you're you're in just as much danger as he is right or do you
guys or do you guys get to go get behind some sandbags until they need you no no as fun as
that might sound like i've been in a lot of shitty situations with attacks and stuff which we'll get
to later hopefully but that job at the time was pretty much like a very safe job.
The worst thing they stopped, we stopped, was an Iranian, one of the reasons actually,
it will be an interruption myself, one of the reasons they needed a Persian translator
was because a lot of Iranians started coming in as pilgrims. My English is failing me right now.
Anyway, it's a bit out of practice but I'm trying.
So these pilgrims came after 2003 because they had a ban by Saddam so they
weren't allowed. But after Saddam away, of course the borders were open and they started coming in
So the need for translator
arose
That's the first thing. So after I started working there
The worst thing I had we had I think was a couple of Iranians trying to smoke a little bit of hash in their pockets
Drugs like that's kind of stuff. What's the punishment for that?
hash in their pockets drugs like that's kind of stuff what's the punishment for that like when they found out that they had hash on them was it like a hey you give us that hash and you move
along or was it like oh you're you've done fucked up they were pulled apart by four cattle yeah well
funny funny story about that uh the first time we found a bit of hash on someone uh they were
searching them patting them down and then i was just standing there talking to the guys anyway.
So they searched this guy, they opened his wallet,
and they have a little thing this big.
And it looks brown.
I mean, we don't know what hash is, what weed is,
all those kind of drugs.
We've heard about them, but we don't know how they look,
how they smell, how they taste.
So the security guy is like, what the hell is this?
And he's like, it's medicine.
So our boss comes around from the... he's like, oh wait, wait, wait, I've heard about this.
This is hash actually. In Najaf, which is about 50 kilometers away.
They have heard about it.
People have been bringing this in and this is kind of a sort of a drug that is banned.
So he's like, wait, wait, wait a second. Give it to to me and he's inspecting his friend to find out what it is so he's like i don't know
and he's he looks at me and he's like you give it a taste and i'm like oh my god i'm not sure i
should do this anyway so i am like the dumbass i am i open it up and then split it in half like
this big i split it in half and put the whole thing in my mouth.
Really stupid decision.
It doesn't fit anything.
Yep, yep. And I start
feeling all kinds of weird things
in my mouth. What does that do? Can you eat pot?
I don't know what it was.
They call it hash
in our country. I don't know what it is.
Hash is when
they take the uh the pollen from like the the marijuana bud like you've got lots of buds of
marijuana and the way i've seen it made is like they use their bare hands to like stroke the
plants and you're getting all that pollen that sticky pollen stuck to your hands and they do
this until they've got like a film of it on them and they take like a butter knife and they scrape
it off and you've got sort of this sort of waxy dark yeah yeah exactly and then they press in the bars uh yeah yeah yeah
and i start chewing and well i mean i've started feeling like a burn i mean it was like 15 years
ago but i bought new shoes and new pants before like a week ago when I started this job.
So I start chewing, chewing, chewing, and everyone's laughing at me, of course, at the security guard.
And I'm like, at once, I just spit it out.
I wait five seconds, and I just vomit on my shoes and my new pants.
It was a shitty, shitty day at the job.
Anyway, so they take this guy, and they put him in a little holding cell which
was just a room people used to study in in the year 1800 or something like that uh really old
shrines with old rooms and old doors which basically push the door and the lock breaks so
it wasn't any any uh cell or anything but i mean they put him in there they waited for the police
iraqi police came over and they just stick him with him i don't know what happens to them possibly so when you were working
as a translator yeah did you have like neighbors or like distant neighbors who were like angry at
you for cooperating with the americans or the italians or whatever cooperation cooperation
with the americans came at a later date in 2000, maybe you've heard of this, the Battle
of Najaf. It's one of the major battles that took place against the insurgents of the south,
the Chechel Mehdi. And I could actually, might be able to find some coordinates for you where
this all exactly happened, if you want that.
No, it's good.
Anyway, so this is 2005,, if you want that. No, it's good. Anyway, so how old were you?
This is 2005, so I was basically 15.
And I just started working for them, like about two months or something.
And the activity of these insurgents, Jashal Mehdi,
which I worked for as a translator, was like very high.
They started enforcing some new laws and other stuff,
which a lot of people
weren't happy with. The thing that angered the coalition forces was the fact that they
started fighting Americans, trying to take secure areas. Anyway, so a command came from
America or something and basically it said all Polish, Spanish and Italian forces may evacuate and US military will take over that
city which was my city.
So at that shrine one of the hardest battles that took place was in my backyard.
So that's another very very like, it's kind of hard to talk about.
I mean there was a lot of a lot of scary moments in our lives I mean
I battle was at that same age for you right around 2005 there so anyway so the
Americans command a lot of resistance because the leader of Jason Maddie told
all of his insurgents Jason media he was mocked at a sudden maybe you've heard of
him the asshole with the thing pretty, he was on CNN like every other week at the time, even lately.
Anyway, so battle goes down and we're holed up in the corner of our house and tanks coming through the house, through our backyard, which was actually our front yard because the engineers that structured those houses are pretty much dumbasses they built one room and then a room next
to it and then another room next to it and then the backyard would be basically
in front of it and the door would be at the side not the front so it's a pretty
weird design yeah so we were at the end of the house like at the farthest room
and at the back like the wall that like at the farthest room, and at the back, like the
wall that we faced was pretty much our neighbor.
It also had the exact same structure of the house, except the other way around.
Anyway, so tanks were coming in and like the ground is shaking, bullets flying everywhere,
two days and then everything settles down.
Americans come door to door telling
us to come out and be searched and we got searched and all all that and then uh basically we spent
more time on the door than the actual war here like it so there's bullets flying there's tanks
moving in yeah like tell what was that part all about like it well I mean, there isn't much to it.
We basically just cowered like all the other families.
I mean, I was young and my mother was in there.
You just stayed inside and you could hear bullets like zipping by?
Yeah, bullets, explosions.
It was intense.
We didn't just hear them.
It was like we were just right there.
And the wall that was like the wall of our backyard was actually broken down by a tank because it hit it.
And yeah, it was pretty intense.
How long did it last?
Or how long, I guess, were you holed up in your house there for the whole two days?
Yeah, we were holed up two days.
Well, thankfully, we had food and all that stuff.
My cousin, actually, which was my aunt's house had an ak and he was like holding
it by himself he was like what the fuck are you doing my i didn't say anything obviously but my
aunt was like you dumbass if the americans come in the first one they shoot it's you why
at your side it's not gonna help you it's like maybe some insurgents will try to hide in our
house i'm not gonna let. American will kill us.
Anyway, so yeah, so that happened.
And that went on.
The next thing that I remember happening was like just life going on.
And a couple of weeks later, I... Real quick, like as the battle was raging and everything,
do you remember like obviously fear is the number one thing.
But as far as like anger at the the sides of the battle
were you just like what was that mentality like like ah these fucking americans or like oh both
of these fucking people or like what were you thinking as far as just the direction i know you
were young at 15 yeah i was going to say i mean i was 15 at the moment i did not really have a
specifically uh oriented my political opinion or anything but at the moment
i feel differently of course but at that time i was just scared and with my family just uh
waiting to be to to see what happens that was it yeah but uh so after that a few weeks ago i
we kept uh like life went on and then uh uh with my family we went to visit the shrine to just go pray and stuff.
And when we went in, a lot of the people obviously changed, but some of the people that worked for
militia after surrendering, the American agreed to keep. So the commander that used to be kind of my
boss, like, I mean, when I say commander, it sounds like a military commander, but he was
just a dumbass that had control of the search point that was situated right at the shrine.
So he was still there and he was like, you should come back because we still have a lot
of Iranians coming in after the battle, maybe in the coming weeks hopefully.
Still no pay though, right?
Yeah, at that point,
after the second time I came back with them,
they did start to pay me.
How much? I need to know, like,
exactly how much, because
that's too dangerous of a job to not get paid
a decent amount. Yeah, yeah, like,
you should be getting paid like those fucking crab
fishermen on, like, Deadliest Catch, right?
There should be, like, a voiceover as voiceover as you translate and check papers like,
Ahmed is making more money this week than most Americans will make in a year.
But instead, what are you actually making?
I did make bank.
So let's see.
As far as numbers go, I made the first two months, I made 15,000 den which is about 14 oh 14. i'm gonna make it rain
i'm always bamboozled by foreign currencies yeah right yeah i'm such a fool i don't know why i
thought i'm like 15 grand this had me going oh nope nope 14 bucks yeah a couple of foot long
sounds i mean you gotta think i was young and i didn't have any little hash and yeah i mean yeah that too but 40 000 denarii i could have bought like uh
shoes a few books for my school and a new clothes so it was helpful i mean i didn't do much i just
went there two hours a day it wasn't like a nine to five yeah i mean the danger of course but yeah
after the americans came uh we were hoping there would be no more danger.
So yeah, that's that.
You're welcome again.
How did that pan out?
Thank you very much.
The American dollar felt good.
Yeah, so after that, Americans came, of course, I think at 10 o'clock in the morning and at 4 o'clock in the midday.
And they just came to check around.
They go into the shrine,
even though a lot of people were angry about that
because they were, quote-unquote, not Muslims.
What happened when they came,
like when you guys were in your house
and they came to your house?
Was it after the battle that you left
and then the Americans found you
or did they actually break into your house?
No, no, they didn't break into the house.
They just knocked on the door really, really hard
and shouted, if your family's come out,
hands on your head, no weapons, no movement.
So we all came out like the family that we are
and we stood there and they started coming in.
We went in the house, take a really quick look
and they just saw a woman and stuff.
They didn't even search us, so they just left.
They didn't find your cousin's AK either, eh?
Even if they have found it, everyone had an AK there.
Oh, I assumed so.
Kyle's got a couple in frame.
Yeah, he had a couple of AKs under the cap,
but they didn't search very well.
They weren't searching for AKs,
they were searching more for people that were hiding,
or from the insurgencies that were hiding,
and big weapons, possibly RPGs and stuff
those things that were they were looking for because RPGs played a big role in
that battle lots of casualties the insurgent side Wow so two years of
battle battle of Najaf and I believe 40 American soldiers died and 4,000 or
something or 3,000 insurgents died.
So that shows the effectiveness of your military.
Of tanks.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I mean, the insurgents also had a lot of hardware.
They had a lot of good Hummers and big trucks.
Shielded trucks, I remember.
But, I mean, of course, it didn't come close to that.
Yeah, there was um
i don't want to get too specific but there's a member of my family who was in the first iraq war
and uh he had a lot of like mixed feelings and stress afterwards about how lopsided it was
like there was some there was some guilt because you know he just it was he was a tank commander, and they just rolled the fuck through the Iraqi tanks and stuff.
After the fact, it was something he had to cope with.
That's an interesting perspective.
I hadn't thought about that, of being like, yeah, we were in the war and we did what we had to do,
but I was in a tank that they gave me and said, hey, drive this as your job as a tank commander.
I was in a tank that they gave me and said, hey, drive this as your job as a tank commander.
In this war, it just happens to be an invincible magic ship that you can just drive around.
Oh, yeah.
I mean, these battles that happened, the only problem Americans faced were the numbers. I mean, people, these insurgents would scatter into neighborhoods and in every house there would be five or four of them.
And it doesn't matter what you have. it the drone is it the tank i mean you with him you
will get ambushed and it's a lot of time it takes a lot of time to clean out those uh neighborhoods
so that was uh challenge number one just the numbers and how they were scattered and obviously
urban warfare i mean it was uh months before uh before the main battle of the Najaf ended.
The battle that we experienced in Kufa, which is like a little, it's a small, really small town right next to Najaf.
Pretty important as far as position, it's right on the Euphrates.
And that took two days, but the battle of Najaf, the main battle of Najaf, took two months or something.
For the insurgents that were there, you're talking about them,
was it common for them to have to break into someone's house and be like,
you're going to hide us here?
Or did they usually have enough people who were on their side that they could go find somewhere?
Or was it kind of a fear that they would show up and harass you?
I couldn't answer that, man. I'm sorry.
But I have no idea. Maybe.
But I've never heard of that or never seen it, so I don't know.
But it is possible, obviously.
They used a lot of shitty tactics,
even though it's against all their mottos and they're Islamic,
and you know how it goes.
These insurgents, when it comes to it,
if it's life or death they will do anything doesn't matter if it's against their
Ideologies or instruction of their leader or whatever anyway
Yeah, but I wouldn't put it past him
And that is intense
Yeah, and so I didn't tell you about when I met with a few of the soldiers that they came to you
didn't tell you about when I met with a few of the soldiers that they came to you. The American soldiers or the insurgents? The Americans. After the whole
battle we went to the mosque one day and I started talking to my old boss
and Americans came in and they started talking to people and stuff just kind of
seeing how the searching and the padding down goes on. There wasn't much to do.
So they talked to me.
And at the time, I was watching a lot of English movies and stuff.
And I still have my DVD collection.
I used to buy 10 DVDs a day, which were basically like, I don't know, 1,000 denarii, like 90 cents, is like basically next to nothing for movies i just
i spent all my money just buying dvds of shows like i remember lost and 24 were big at the time
so those were my favorite yeah yeah exactly that's really weird but i really love that show
anyway at the time so i have a lot of dvds and I've picked up a lot of language from that. So
it was my third language. So it was pretty impressive for these guys. So they were like,
so you speak Arabic fluently and a bit of English that could be better, but also Persian
that we very much need because of all the pilgrims that are coming in. So the American
soldier is like, if you come tomorrow, we will take you to the checkpoint at the next
to your neighborhood
we need a few translators there so you gotta stand there for five or six hours and we'll pay
of course a hundred dollars i'm like oh my god a hundred dollars are you serious so that was my
biggest payday as a translator so the next day i came over and they picked me up and i went there
and they gave me a vest and I stand there and basically didn't translate
anything, absolutely nothing, just talked to the soldiers in the first day.
A few weeks later after the combat like that, the dust settled down, a lot of pilgrims started
coming in, a lot of people started getting arrested.
I mean Iranians really hate Americans, even the pilgrims.
So anyway, a lot of translating was needed.
So I was on my toes. My English was very weak at the time so I was
barely speaking. And yeah, so that was also a big challenge for me. So I did
that for a couple of months and I think... What was the attitude of the soldiers
like when you were kind of getting to know them and talk
to them?
Oh, the best.
The best.
One of the funnest things I've done in this whole shitty situation was translating for
the soldiers.
They were telling me all about the American life and how I should go to America since
I'm learning and I'm smart enough and this and that.
They were motivating me to do all kinds of things.
So I just tell them I would really love to go to study in America
or maybe in Europe or wherever, and they would motivate me.
And they were like, you know, you work here six months on this salary,
you'll be able to save up a bit of money.
You should save up on this and that.
So they were really cool guys, really cool guys.
I didn't really have a bad experience with the American soldiers.
That's good.
You said it was annoying dealing with how much the Iranians hated the Americans, even the pilgrims.
What do you mean by that?
Yeah, I mean, they wouldn't be one-attached.
That's number one, which patting down becomes really challenging.
So that's why they called a few guys from the mosque, from the old insurgencies that they used to, like the checkpoint at the mosque.
So they used to pat down the, so the American basically did respect that.
Because a lot of Iranians started getting angry and started shouting and this and that.
And weapons were pointed at some point, I remember.
What was such a big deal about being touched?
Yeah, I mean, they didn't just, I don't know, Iranians.
I mean, Iraqis, most of Iraqis, if they would be wanted to search by a soldier,
they would just, okay, go ahead, man.
No big deal.
But I remember a lot of the pilgrims from Iran made a big deal about it.
And I used to intervene and come in, speak Farsi, their language,
so they would feel a little bit better about it.
I'm like, don't worry about it. It's just for security, no big deal and this and that.
But it didn't help. I was like, no, this American dirty peasant will not touch me
in this and that. Yeah, I remember a lot of hatred from Iranians. When you translated, did you
like tell them straight like stuff like dirtyasant, or did you like smooth it over? Oh, absolutely not.
I definitely did smooth it over.
Say that again?
You did smooth it over or you didn't?
Yeah, I mean, I was young.
I mean, I was afraid.
I remember like every time someone would say something
that I would feel would offend the other party,
I was like, oh my God, how am I going to say that?
You're a terrible translator.
I need to know.
If I'm sitting there paying you 80,000 denarii or whatever...
So if they just took a transcript of your translations, they'd be like, this is the friendliest checkpoint that we've ever seen.
Everybody seems to be getting along. A lot of anger was also conveyed by their facial expressions.
And how they start screaming, so I didn't have to translate everything.
Anyway, but when there was a few words thrown out, I wouldn't translate them.
Unless I was asked, I don't actually remember if I've ever done that.
Do you remember one line or one thing you were told to translate that sticks out in your mind?
As something that was like, you're like oh shit because omak comes to mind which means you motherfucker
but much worse because in the western culture motherfuckers use like a buzzword and in arabic
that's like serious shit so when you say that like you're offended like i fuck your mother
or something so that's the thing that i would never translate or ever even dare to translate so oh man that was that
must be stressful with cursed words like oh sorry go ahead kyle i want it straight like i would i
would i'd be like look if they're saying some crazy shit i need to fucking know it because
because things can escalate here we're not talking about hurting feelings we're talking about people
dying you let me know what they're saying over there like you can smooth me
over a little bit if i step out of line but don't you smooth them i need to know i needed like warts
and all but it must have been annoying to have to be like all right i'm translating this what i'm
about to say is from him it's from him keep in mind not from me i think you're great i'm on your
side all right like you're gonna be everybody's buddy
you also have to consider that the fact that it was a checkpoint it wasn't something official or
anything exact translations weren't needed so basically i had to just tell them what they
what they were saying in any context would have been what it would have been okay doesn't matter
i don't i don't always have to be literally literally translate every single word so as long as the message gets through how did uh like your day
to day life just routine kind of change up after the Americans showed up yeah so after the Americans
showed up there was still a lot of a lot of uh uh what do you call it like a lot it's still a lot of movement from the insurgents. They were still there obviously, but they
got a ceasefire order from their leader.
Was it something like you were being stopped and checked more often or you'd go outside
and be like, oh look, Humvee and a bunch of soldiers again, surprise.
No, I mean we were kind of in our bubble. We didn't go far very much. I used to go to
school, go to the thing, I used to go to friends and go home. That was my life for years at
that point. But after months later, a lot of people like my family, my cousins that
are older than me, they were like, you need to stop working for the americans it's not safe anymore
so uh i think i worked three months in total uh and then i stopped so i just quit i told them i
had to move and concentrate on my schools and my funnels were coming up which were actually coming
up at the time so i just quit for that reason i was you kind of afraid? Were you, was it, you think it was the right move at the time to be like, yeah, this is getting a little too hot?
Or is it something that looking back, you're like, oh, I probably could have kept doing that a little longer.
No, no, I mean, no, it never got hot.
To be honest, if I'm honest, it never got hot.
Not working for that checkpoint.
It never got hot.
I mean, heated discussions between a tourist and another salesman or
a soldier that was trying to pad down, that was the most extreme thing I witnessed at
the time. So it wasn't hot or anything. But I kept hearing from friends and family, they
were like, you got to stop working for the Americans. You never know what happens and
this and that. You know how people are. Just here in general. So it was a messy situation
at the time. So you don't want to get it uh tangled
up in something yeah come that new uh that new jack bauer is a real pussy eh
yeah they got a black jack bauer now and i'm like oh my god if you're gonna if you're gonna
bring in the new jack bauer you you gotta you gotta fucking escalate right you gotta set this
up i don't think anyone i don't think anyone can feel uh keifer sutherland no keifer sutherland
will take you in a fucking room and pull your fingernails out and put a power drill in your
kneecap he'll show you a video live feed of your family and he'll be like tell me where the bob is
and you're like no no and they're like kill the wife and they fucking kill the wife and he's like
tell me where the bob is kill the boy and then and somewhere in another country they're killing the
boy like keith or sutherland play no shit and they bring this new guy on he's like I'm on my own now, and this is like yeah, that's the whole point
So so Jack Bauer is now a black guy
Or they just read it and now it's a new agent because if his name is Jack Bauer
And he's now just a black guy if I were a fan of the show I'd be like
Yeah, it's just called 20 Gimli be an elf all of a sudden. Why does he need to be black?
What is that about is Is that something like a...
I don't care that he's black.
I'm okay with it.
I'd be okay with a transsexual Jack Bauer, quite frankly.
But you've got to be hardcore, all right?
Yeah, that's what I mean.
That it's not very good, you know?
Yeah, I don't care if you've got a Latino Jack Bauer.
Whatever you want to do to mix things up and get another demographic involved with Fox.
I'm fine with that.
But he's got to escalate.
He's got to take it to the next level.
He's got to be cutting eyelids off episode one.
I don't know the extreme level,
but anytime I see the reboot of a show
and instead of the crux of the pitch being like,
and it's new and better because this plot or this edition,
and instead it's like, it's different because their skin is different or maybe their genitals are different. Fuck you, it's different. When it's one of those, it's like it's different because their skin is different or maybe their
genitals are different fuck you it's different
like when it's one of those it's like okay
you probably threw a shitty thing together trying to
know or knowing that some people would watch it
just because of the you know kind of pandering
you're doing whereas with a real reboot
there you can tell you're like
okay this is a ground swell up
like it's gonna be a new thing like what you
thought the Hobbit might be.
Even though it's not really a reboot, but whatever.
We won't get into Hobbit.
Just look it up.
This is the new Jack Bauer, the guy from The Walking Dead,
like from the last season.
Do you guys know him?
I don't think they're the same actor, are they?
Because the guy from The Walking Dead,
you're talking about the one who got his leg eaten or whatever,
and he was like, you ate my leg!
Tainted meat!
Tainted meat!
It is him, I think.
Is that the same guy?
I didn't think it was.
Yeah, it's the same guy. That's such a shitty uh casting i don't like certainly not a jack bauer level of
no it doesn't even look like him he looks like a fucking 20 he doesn't look hardcore enough
no i i i really enjoyed dude 24 is good like like go back and watch like 24 happened like
right in the it was broadcast
like right in the heart of 9-11 and all that shit and like it and the whole point is that you've got
this one fucking government agent who like he's like oh shit there's a national security thing
going on my like inner work my like group has been compromised so i can't trust those above me
and i can't trust those below me it's up to me to fix this, and it's so important that nothing else matters.
So if I've got to kill people, torture people, kidnap the president, whatever, it has to go down this way.
Because otherwise, a nuke goes off in LA or something of a similar circumstance.
For you, since you've already seen 24, obviously you watching because i know keeper sutherland's
in a new show that's about like uh last survivor i love designated survivor is that any good the
concept seems really interesting oh yeah great show great show i definitely turn on cnn man
they've got a guy who isn't qualified running the country every fucking night i don't need to go
there and see keith or southern sutherland pretend to be unqualified. You can turn on CNN
and watch that shit live.
There's no way it's going to be as exciting as
Jack Bauer. Not Jack Bauer, Kiefer Sutherland.
What else does he in?
Wasn't he known for being like a rabble rouser
like bad boy?
Yeah, he used to do a lot of cocaine. He was in The Lost Boys back in the day.
You know, his dad's Donald Sutherland.
I remember The Lost Boys.
I didn't like that movie
that much. Ah, come on, man. It's a good movie.
I don't know. I thought it was shitty as well.
There we go.
I don't know. I didn't like it.
When I started watching 24, I was kind of a fan of
Kiefer, so I started watching everything that he was in.
Like movies, shows, anything.
Have you ever seen the one
called Phone Booth or something like that?
Oh, yeah. I've seen that. He had a small role in that.
I mean, not a small role, but he wasn't much on screen.
He's not on screen.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
He was a sniper.
He just got his voice.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But, you know, I liked him in that.
He was cool in that.
Yeah, Colin Farrell.
Colin Farrell.
Yeah, Colin Farrell's in this phone booth, which don't fucking exist anymore.
And Kiefer Sullivan is talking to him, and he's like,
I'm in a building looking at you right fucking now with a sniper rifle is talking to him and he's like i'm in a building
looking at you right fucking now the sniper rifle he's test me and he's like what and he's fucking
shoots a guy right you know he he proves it right away and he creates this whole scary scenario on
the street because he's a sniper in a building where it appears that that colin farrell is the
one shooting this man on the street and everybody's like ah that guy in the phone booth just killed
the man and keith is like don't leave the phone booth or i'll kill you and he's stuck in this weird standoff it's it's it's
more you always want to believe in movies like that when you watch them you're like oh i would
be colin farrell and i would be outwitting this guy on the phone like i'd be figuring this out
you know how you put yourself in there but in reality like i always like have a like a super
thought on top of that that when when I see the guy be like,
oh, you don't believe I can kill you?
Bang!
And just shoot some random asshole walking by.
It's like, no, Taylor, don't lie to yourself.
You'd be that guy.
You'd be that guy.
You just got his brains blown out.
And then you are a setup
for the first major hump of the story arc.
You are not fooling anyone.
You're not Colin Farrell.
In the phone booth.
Yeah, you're not Colin Farrell.
You're dead pip number one. And in Helm's Deep, you're not calling barrel own booth yeah you're dead pip number one and
and in helms deep you're the guy who gets hit by that fucking crazy crossbow bolt you're not
saving anyone like hits him and carries him onward like 30 feet and then impales him against the wall
that was actually meanest here but that was a good one too yeah that was awesome
when i watch uh when i watch nba games i do that a lot i was like. Well, it happened both. I do that when I watch NBA games.
I do that a lot.
I was like, oh, my God, that's such a sweet move.
LeBron going in for the great dunks.
I watch a lot of NBA.
I'm a huge basketball fan.
I used to play basketball in Iraq as well.
So I do that, which he just described in basketball.
At the end, I'm like, oh, my God.
More like the fat guy sitting in the courtside watching the game. That's me, not LeBron.
Even if you fantasize, man, what if I were in the NHL? It's like, alright, baseline fantasy,
we gotta make you 6'8 and 300 pounds, because you don't even meet the base level of athleticism,
so they'd have to bring you in as like, hey, he's big and he's good, kinda. So already,
it's like, goddammit, now there's no chance. There's no way, even in
my fantasies, I couldn't do it. I'm still getting the
puck stolen from me.
If I'm going to have a fantasy like this,
and in a similar way, I have to do
this to enjoy fantasy movies, or most
movies, I have to suspend my disbelief.
I have to make it
a real kind of scenario in which I could
this could happen. I can't just be like
if I'm fantasizing jerking off, I can't just be like like if you're if i'm fantasizing jerking off i can't just picture like oh yeah and i'm fucking natalie
dormant dormer that that happened i gotta be like all right so i'm here and i just happen to run
into her like there has to be a way for it to happen for it to even be real in my mind so so
with the nhl thing i'm like how does that happen like right, so I win the lottery. I win the lottery. I invest well.
And then I buy the fucking St. Louis Blues.
I fucking buy the goddamn team.
And I get to pick who the GM is.
And then, then I get on the ice, whether they like it or not.
Like, that's the only way you can make it happen.
Then you can do it. Like, if you were, like, that Scrooge McDuck tycoon who's, like, owner, player, coach.
Like, don't stop at just getting on the ice uh yaramir yager is setting himself up for that if he currently plays for
the florida panthers he's 45 just turned 45 i believe uh just had the most successful season
of any hockey player in the nhl in history for someone over 44 so he's got a long way this year it's like him and chelios and a couple other people but
the highest of that low bar and he bought a team in sweden or switzerland or somewhere
czechoslovakia he bought a team over there in one of their leagues so that if the nhl ever says
honestly you're just too old he'll be like all right i'm gonna go uh be the owner and maybe
and the head center there doesn't matter if i'm not the best because i own the team and i'll be like, all right, I'm going to go be the owner and maybe end the head center there.
It doesn't matter if I'm not the best because I own the team.
And I'll be coach.
Fuck it.
Fuck you.
I'll build a team around me.
It'll be great.
Imagine the vanity that that unleashes in you.
If you're like Sidney Crosby must really think his shit doesn't stink, right?
You see it in the way he plays, the way he abuses the other players out there.
He's not afraid of anything.
He knew they weren't going to fucking suspend him or do anything relevant because of who he is.
So he can fucking nut shot, chop fingers off, all that.
Someone got suspended for a nut shot just last night.
Yeah, not Sidney Crosby.
Kyle's mid-story, but Taylor, why doesn't Crosby get his ass kicked more?
I mean, it's not hard to do, right?
Oh, like just him versus him?
Is there a big sorely on his line? no there's not it's just because he declines fights all the time it's just that he declines
and if something happens whereas someone like uh i don't know i'm trying to like uh who's the
captain like jeru so if jeru got in some shit for the Flyers, he would back it up with a fight
if need be. But he's not going to jump into a fight headlong because he's so good that it's
like, no, don't do that, you idiot. Like, let somebody else take the punch. That's the exact
same thing with Crosby. But Crosby never jumps in a fight because there's literally no reason for
him to ever be in a fight because he's the best player in the world. Like when he gets in a fight,
it's never like, man, you really motivated everyone. He would lose
the fight for sure. I would think. He's got
a really powerful lower body.
He's one of the strongest
guys in the league as far as that goes.
It's evident in his skating and his edge work,
how fast he can change directions
so easily. In a fight,
I think he'd get tossed.
He's probably bottom 5%
in NHL fighting. I just wish he got in more fights. Yeah, he's probably bottom 5% in NHL fighting,
and I just wish he got in more fights.
And I don't think the Penguins have anybody.
Maybe I just don't know the roster well enough,
but I don't think they have anybody that could really throw some haymakers.
Who knows?
I see the NHL is not letting their players go to the Olympics in 2018.
Yeah, I saw that.
Did you hear that?
Yeah, I did.
They've been talking about that for a while.
They asked Wayne Gretzky about that.
He owns a team, that's why, right?
He owns the Coyotes, I think.
Yeah, yeah.
They asked him his thoughts about that.
And it was something like,
you know, we like to compete at the highest level
and all that, but we kind of got our own thing
going on here.
It was one of those...
What he did say was, like, the biggest a for a hockey player is the stanley cup a gold medal is amazing
it's incredible it's it's great but we want the stanley cup and that was the bottom line like
globally everybody knows that the stanley cup's the biggest trophy like in hockey it just is but
all they're doing with this is it just it's not a good way to grow the
sport which i don't like and it makes it so that the only winter olympic event i ever watched anyway
was hockey i don't give a shit about luge or skiing like that can be neat and highlight clips
but i'm not going to watch the whole thing and if there aren't nhl players there i'm not going to
watch a bunch of minor leaguers and washed up guys who aren't in the league anymore hash it out. As Ovechkin already said, I don't care.
I'm going anyway.
And so Ovechkin's going.
All the good Russians are going to end up going, I guarantee.
So Tarasenko's going to go.
So that kind of sucks for us.
We're going to lose him next year.
And now Sobotka, I guess that's two.
But all that means is if the NHL doesn't go to the Olympics in hockey,
Russia is going to buttfuck everybody.
I've always thought that the Olympics is going to buttfuck everybody.
I've always thought that the Olympics kind of just buttfuck the good teams.
You know, like if your team has some elite players on it,
then your team's best players don't get rest.
If you have a mediocre team,
like you really want to be just not good enough to make the Olympics,
you know, alternate style.
And then those guys get full rest while all the stars come back broken
and beat up i think there should be a different kind of olympics for those all right so like
winter olympics if you're if you're sending a team from like a tropical region you shouldn't
have to face off against like the fucking canada's russia's and like i don't know fucking
netherlands of the world or wherever the fuck skiing skiing is incredibly uh popular you know
like yeah sure the usa just because they have so much goddamn money.
And it's just absurd.
Like, we'll be good.
If there's something to be good at,
we'll be good at it if we really want to.
We just will.
And we might just be the best at it
because we'll just spend money until we are.
But, like, if you're, you know,
the best example, I think,
is the Jamaican bobsled team, right?
Like, they shouldn't have to compete
with some Canadian douchebags who have been bobsledding since birth they shouldn't have to compete with some canadian douchebags who've
been bobsledding since birth they should have to face off against like three guys like us from the
usa who are well funded i feel like they shouldn't be allowed to compete not shouldn't have to like
they like because so i was a swimmer right i really think i could have made like senegal's
olympic team you could have right for most people the world. Senegal is a tiny little country.
I think on the Eastern or Western seaboard of Africa.
You haven't heard of it.
I'm sure their swim team sucks.
I think I could have made it.
I might still be able to make it.
I don't know.
They've all got food poisoning and shit.
Yeah.
Like half the year.
Like you're fine.
They might not have a pool in that country.
Right.
They swim in sewage.
Yeah.
They have an ocean.
They swim in sewage.
The sharks get them all. Off the of africa so yeah and i've
always like sometimes you see these guys and they can hardly the 50 meter pool is big like it's you
have to be able to swim to get across it and these fuckers can't even like finish a 200 right
interesting think about the facilities required just to meet the bare minimum that that's always
what what it is with sport right what is the bare minimum. That's always what it is with sport, right?
What is the bare minimum it takes to make this happen in any region, right?
Baseball, it's super fucking low.
You need a field, a ball, and a bat.
You don't need the gloves.
You don't have to have them.
Soccer is super low.
Just the ball, really.
You can put sticks on the ground for a net.
But when you get into swimming and you have to have that Olympic-sized swimming pool.
You do. That's fucking expensive because it's a very specific distance you're measuring right like
i bet like a lot of people who are good at swimming know exactly how many strokes it takes
to get to one side or the other you might be fucking counting them in your head like i don't
know what what do you do as you're stroking and like in some sort of zone i guess some sort of
water treading
zone like what is your is there any counting in your head is there are you looking at landmarks
on the side of the pool or at the end i don't know if the elite guys are different but there's a t
that is a certain distance from the wall and that distance is very consistent and as you're coming
up to it like you know where you are mid-stroke compared to where that t is and you start like
preparing for your turn like Do you need to start
short-stroking it? Do you need to do a little
glide toward the end so that you can
do your turn at the exact
right place? Because I know in hurdles, for example,
there's a specific amount of steps
you're supposed to be taking. It's like, I think
it's three. I think three is optimal.
It might be four that's optimal, but it's like five
is like, you're fucked!
There's a very specific way to do it. I guess the course of a 50 meter swimming pool like that doesn't come
into play as much yeah one mississippi two mississippi three actually what is point of like
the whole they shouldn't have to play against those countries i think arguably that that they
should definitely have to play against them because that's more fun like if there is yeah
it's like the whole purpose of an an Olympic, which is like a global
thing, and every country
that has qualified has to...
You're missing the point, though.
Not to mention, if Cambodia ever makes
a hockey team, I want to see how they
do against Russia, just to see
how it pans out. Who knows?
Miracle on Ice 2.0, Cambodia
seasons some national pride.
They're all 5'3".
But the Russians don't train that hard, Kyle.
That's true. Only in the winter.
I think they might.
That would be a funny Russian joke.
He's like, we only train in wintertime.
Wintertime is all year.
We only train
when snow is on the ground.
Taylor, to your point at the beginning of the discussion,
why did the NHL, is it the NHL?
Yeah, the NHL.
NHL, why don't they allow their players to...
Basically, the reason they wouldn't want to,
is my understanding, is that they could,
number one, get injured there,
and... Oh, both of them. Oh, no, what did he just change? I was going to say, oh, man, that's a record. understanding is that they could remember one get injured there and both
the Arnaud what he's just change send them both away but they don't want their
players to get injured so when they come back for the playoffs I guess if that's
what it is or it's either that or if it's not during the regular season it's
because they won't be fully rested that's pretty funny what he that's the feeling you get like when
you're laying on your back using your phone
and you're going like this
and you drop your phone on your face and it hits you.
That's that same feeling.
I feel like such a fucking idiot.
This has to be worse.
When I'm in bed, I do that with my tablet,
which I also have a thick case on.
Like my iPad.
Look how thick this thing is.
This is an iPad Air. I've dropped it on my glasses so many times.
Yeah, you're dropping a solar panel on your face.
Exactly.
Anyway, about the NHL,
because the NBA is also facing
kind of a similar problem right now,
because they play 82 games a season,
and it has been a lot of injuries.
There have been a lot of injuries,
and a lot of players are just
really tired.
So I guess I get the point.
NHL and NBA have a pretty much
identical season.
Yeah, they play 82 games in the NHL.
Yeah, NHL and NBA both
play 82 games, pretty much the same span,
which is why I don't know
anybody who's a basketball and a hockey
fan. It's always one or
the other.
Bill Burr talks about it sometimes on his podcast. I haven't listened to that in a while, actually. anybody who's a basketball and a hockey fan. It's always one or the other. Because it would be...
Bill Burr talks about it sometimes on his podcast.
I haven't listened to that in a while, actually.
Talking about hockey and basketball.
I'm just like, where are you
finding the time
to watch all... These are two
sports concurrently, and you're
talking about football, which kind of overlaps
a bit. It's nothing but sports.
I don't take any time to follow hockey.
I look at the standings.
I read the articles.
And then there's some constants, like Sidney Crosby will always be a pussy.
People were getting a little upset at you about that.
Oh, no.
Anything but that.
No, I thought that was really funny, though, because of all the things.
It's like, you know, he really is a good player, though.
I don't think Woody sees it.
And it's like, no, do you think Woody
is an idiot? Like, of course
he sees it. He knows he's a good player. He's
talking with you. He's a Flyers fan.
I noticed behind you, Ahmed,
what I have behind me
right there. Oh, yeah, I see it.
The Anthology set.
Are you...
Yes, yes. And Kyle will be so happy to come back and not have us
talking about Hockey Olympics.
But are you a big Magic guy?
I'm not a big Magic guy.
I'm just a Magic guy.
Just a regular Magic guy.
Yeah, I just delve into it
once or twice a year
when a new expansion comes out, which I've
missed on the last expansion
that came out a month ago,
unfortunately.
Just no money for it.
It's really expensive.
Especially when you make $14 a day.
Yeah, $14 a month.
A month?
It'll take a while to buy some magic cards.
$15 a month?
Yeah, I said
$15,000 they gave me for the first month
and then something like 20.
Maybe they did 20 the second month.
That is highway robbery.
Yeah.
I worked basically for free.
A little more than free.
Yeah, a little more than free.
And I guess as a kid
with a job like that, it might...
And you said it was only a couple hours a day.
It might have almost been fun, kind of feeling like.
It was, it was.
That was one of the aspects because it was a lot of fun to go out there and speak to a lot of people in different languages.
But, yeah, at the end of the day, I just came out with a lot of stories and I would tell my mother and she would slap me every time.
She's like, stop it.
You're not going tomorrow.
She did that a few times with me.
That was funny.
And then you'd always show up back up the next day and be like, oh, I went.
Oh, yeah. Because I used to go
after school.
We had half days at the time of the war.
So basically every day at school was
half day. So from 8 to
12 or to 11 sometimes.
So after school, I immediately go to
the shrine or to the checkpoint to translate.
That Coke looks amazing.
In a glass bottle?
Damn.
That is some Coke.
It even looks taller than a normal Coke.
It is taller than a normal Coke.
Is that a Mexican Coke?
Oh, yes.
Can you confirm it's a glass bottle?
Oh.
That was awesome.
I thought he was just going to tell me but that was better
speaking of Coke
did you guys hear about the whole Pepsi debacle
with Kendall Jenner
right
I don't understand
what people are upset about
they're upset because of mock protests
or something
why are people upset on the internet every upset because of mock protests or something. It was hilarious. Why are people upset on the
internet every day because
of every ridiculous reason there is.
But I mean the ad itself was
pretty dumb and pretty pointless
as well. It didn't convey any
like specific message.
Let's watch this ad.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Great idea. I'm going to pull
this up.
Hey Kyle, how about I find the ad, you do an ad read and then I'm going to pull this up. I'm going to spot on there.
Hey, Kyle, how about I find the ad, you do an ad read, and then I'll be ready when you're done.
Oh, man.
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Check out Naturebox.
They're flipping awesome.
So here in Europe, we don't actually have Naturebox.
I've looked it up.
But we do have a similar service.
I don't want to get up top.
Which we can't name.
No, we would not talk about.
Don't want to hear hear about your shit Europe service
Nature box wannabe calm
Nature box is exploding with high quality products
Succinct punctual service and they're gonna be expanding into Europe soon. I
Bet your bottom dollar because i'm happy with the supplier and i imagine like nature box is a lot better because
i've looked at their website and they have a lot of cool shit uh they do but uh i couldn't because
that says only us and canada so unfortunately i couldn't sign up are we q zero with this commercial? Yeah.
I'm good to go with the Pepsi commercial.
Anytime.
Alright, Kyle.
Ready, set, play.
Oh.
It's so uncomfortable.
Some of these people had it coming. We all know that.
Like I know many of these situations.
No I mean that'd be...
Am I an idiot? I don't get it.
Is that because they tried to walk the line between both sides and try not to really take a fucking side?
Hold on, hold on. So which...
Oh nevermind.
It might be because they actually used like real life footage.
That was weird. I didn't know that happened.
We'd have dropped the Kardashians from their home into the streets and burnt them for the witches they are.
They'd have been done instantly.
It was edgier than I expected.
I'm watching and I'm like, damn, that's a misbehaving policeman.
No donut.
There was some edgy footage in there.
I don't know if I got the...
I guess they're saying that Pepsi will help people talk out their problems.
Maybe Pepsi, whether you beat people or you're getting beaten.
Wait, wait, wait.
This one we just watched has like –
This one we just watched has history.
Hold on.
This one we watched just has violent like protest shit in the middle of it.
I didn't see this one.
Is that –
Did I fuck it up?
Is bad montage guy not the real commercial
no it is not it is not the actual commercial because that would be wild i love that i thought
it was that's funnier than the commercial okay so what do you what do you thought that the pepsi
commercial was caitlyn was whichever fucking jenner this is walking around with her pepsi
and then it just she's about to take a sip
And it's a quick cut to a black woman and a police officer screaming at each other
Deccan are on the side of the head and then
Just a white cut you know as you do in Pepsi
To her walking you know panning up from her leg and her long luxurious leg or whatever like this
This is definitely not commercial. I have the real one here.
What the fuck are we doing? What did we just watch?
I think we watched some
montage of bullshit.
You guys remember the video that I made
where I
changed the weather
thing to make it look like the day
after tomorrow? That's what just happened to it.
That's what just happened.
That's totally what just happened.
You said you found it. There you go. Here's what just happened to him. That's what just happened. That's totally what just happened. There you go.
Here's the real one.
We just watched. That's pretty funny.
That's really funny.
That couldn't have gone better, actually.
I agree entirely. That was great.
Alright, are we queued up at zero?
Yeah.
Three, two, one, play.
This has no audio. Do you have audio? No. Oh. Yeah. Three, two, one, play.
This has no audio. Do you have audio?
No.
No.
Oh.
Oh, yeah, that's kicked on.
Oh, it takes a while.
I didn't launch this two minute one.
Yeah, I thought the two and a half minute commercial
was augmented with all this commentary, which I was like, 30 seconds, that this two minute one. Yeah, I thought the two and a half minute commercial was augmented with all this commentary
Which I was like 30 seconds. That's the real one. Yeah, the one I saw on Twitter was just a I guess a 30 second
Are they gonna say anything
I hate this so much. It's so dumb.
Are they gonna say anything?
Nope.
Not with words, Woody.
Not with words.
As it's going on, notice how painfully enforced the diversity is.
Yes, indeed.
How ham-hammed it is.
Look at the peace signs and the Muslim girl.
She doesn't look peaceful.
She doesn't look peaceful at all.
She just got angry.
She just started wrecking.
She's like, fuck photography.
I'm gonna enact some change!
I'm feeling thirsty too though.
Oh I see. She didn't like the pictures in front of her.
So she's gonna go take some real pictures.
That's what this girl does.
She goes and takes pictures of her diverse friends dancing in the street with cops.
It's the middle of the day!
Where are these people jobs
none of these people have jobs nobody has time for a midday parade i don't find this commercial
offensive at all like if anything it's kind of offensively non-offensive like with the diversity
and the smiles and the the well-dressed people and it it's to be honest i don't know why why
are people mad about this it's a very dumb commercial but i don't see any controversy It's
Takes that wig off Muslims are mad about someone forcing her to wear Kyle I'm not getting what you're saying The pond wig, let me back.
Kyle, I'm not getting what you're saying.
Yeah, you're breaking up.
Oh, now here she is, giving the Pepsi to the cop.
And the Muslim girl's all too happy to take a picture.
He just drinks from this open can handed to him by a protester.
Actually, pretty terrible policing.
I wouldn't do that.
This is like... I think it's funny, this commercial,
like the response.
Like, it's uncomfortable to watch
because it's so ham-handed and how much it's pandering.
You know?
But it's funny to watch because
the people at Pepsi,
they had a whole marketing meeting and everything
set up and they were like we need to make this so that not a single person
can be offended we need to bring up the diversity matrix all right what do we
need to do we need black guy we need Muslim girl we need Asian guy we need
white guy no no no no white guy there
No white guy there. Get the fuck out. We got all the cops we need. No more white guys.
How do we cast the cops?
Get seven mean looking white guys.
Alright, there you go. Perfect. And then we get a
put this dancing hippie white guy in there
and then another black guy, black guy, Muslim
girl, this. And it was so
intentionally and ham-handedly
enforced in there that
the person making that had to think that
everybody watching it is just a complete
dunce. He's gonna be be like, well, I guess everybody
likes Pepsi. I guess we may disagree
on a lot of things, but at the end of the day,
have a Pepsi, am I right?
When we watched the first one with the police beatings
and such, I was like, this is edgier
than I expected, actually.
I thought it was going to be much ado about nothing.
I was going to say, that was ridiculous.
I was really shocked and surprised.
People were being lightened up and pepper sprayed in the face.
And I'm like, oh my god.
At the end of the commercial, it's just a guy pouring Pepsi into his pepper sprayed eyes.
And then holding a cold can of Pepsi against his beanbag bruised face.
Imagine the millions that they spent on this commercial
and now it's being pulled.
At minute 45, you've got the
transsexual group.
Oh yeah, I didn't notice that.
People are acting like this commercial
is some sort of big failure.
They spend less time on the two transsexuals
than on any other group.
But think about how much attention
this commercial is getting. Are they not getting a billion in free press?
Nobody likes Pepsi.
Dude,
Pepsi.
I mean,
I'm drinking a diet Pepsi right now,
but I don't know.
Yeah.
50% of the soda market,
like Coca-Cola dominates.
Pepsi.
You know why new Coke got invented?
Cause Coke kept getting beat in the taste tests.
People actually like Pepsi more more i don't know
yeah as far as the name goes and the brand recognition it's a lot bigger for cola even
like in the middle east where i live and in europe here as well in america as well so
i mean cola is is the king no no doubt. Yeah, I think it is globally. Definitely everybody does more coke drink globally than water. I'm like, I'm pretty sure that's true
So the follow-up to this story is that seems like it wouldn't be
What a requirement examination
You don't know these things, okay, then more beverages drank by the coca-cola product
I don't know cuz things. Okay, then more beverages drank by the Coca-Cola product. No, goddammit, because they make water.
Keep going with it.
Keep going.
Be like, yeah, even if you include the Animal Kingdom, Coke still wins.
No, I'm doubling down.
Go Trump.
This ridiculous commercial, it's funny because it's a commercial that tried so hard to pander,
to eat every one of these little groups that they perceive as little special interest groups.
These aren't individuals that just like soda.
These are all people who are defined
by the color of their skin and their genitals,
and so we'll market to them as such.
That's what everybody likes.
And those same people are all the same,
like the SJW crowd
that they were trying to appease so hard
as the same one that hated on it.
Yeah, the...
Not SJW. That's too extreme. The people they were trying to pander got that hated on it. Yeah, the IAW.
Not SJW, that's too extreme.
The people they were trying to pander to ended up hating it.
Well, the people that they're trying to pander to like to be offended.
So, shockingly, they got offended.
That's true as well.
But, I mean, I don't...
It's just, even I don't care about it,
but I think it's a bad commercial.
You know, it's just a stupid commercial.
I can't believe they aired that.
Like, why would you think, like, oh, yeah,
we're going to co-opt this thing about protests,
which is really edgy right now,
and people have stances on it,
and we're going to make it about our sugary soft drink.
Most commercials are bad,
and this one doesn't stand out to me at all.
This is a commercial I ignore, like most of the others.
It stands out to me as uncomfortable,
because I don't like any commercial
where a regular
commodity makes people start dancing
around because I feel like it's
insulting to me. Like when people dance around with a
Swiffer wet jet, I want to vomit.
I like a good musical in my commercials
though. I'm on the other team on this one.
You're getting fingernails
and dog hair out from under your
goddamn fridge. Stop dancing around.
It's so easy on your back. Not not me are you selling some like you know sponges for your oven
top get the cast of glee in here i need a sponge like a musical bug spray commercial because i
enjoy that you know if i get a bunch of stuff with the bug spray, that's that's always fun. When there's like you find the problem, right?
Whatever it is, maybe it's a whole nest of spiders that just have hatched out and there's
like a web that's like a little baby spider right out of my hair.
You'll see like a big wasp nest or whatever it is.
And you're like, aha, I have a can with your fucking picture on it.
I'll be right back.
If you've got that can with his
picture on it it's the end of the fucking remarkably effective oh so i like it when you
just wound them like like maybe i miss them i hit the window and then they touch the window that i
sprayed now all of a sudden they're like oh my god i'm half the bug i used to be fucked up yeah
i think you can also use like just soap and water mixed together and spray their nest.
And somehow it creates, like, a soapy coat on them.
Oh, bees.
The wasp.
You can't fuck with the wasp.
You're not supposed to kill bees, are you?
No.
Well, you're not supposed to.
They make the honey and they pollinate the crops and such.
But, you know, the wasps, those are the problem.
And there's plenty of other cooler things to use against them.
They probably make something else that's really good they probably make something shitty it seems like wasps would make like black peppers or something
till i find out yeah i mean i'm no farmer but i bet wasps make pepper
i mean i know ahmed probably you've probably killed some of those camel spiders that everybody
on the internet seems to think are giant.
And I had my whole world shattered when my friend who was a soldier told me, like, oh, not at all.
That's forced perspective.
It's not that big.
And I'm like, don't you lie to me.
I have not killed a spider, but I have killed a snake.
I was hoping you were going to say a camel.
I have not killed a camel spider, but I killed a camel.
I have rode a camel. I have rode a camel and an elephant. Kyle, have you rid killed a camel spider, but they killed a camel! I have rode a camel.
I have rode a camel and an elephant.
Kyle, have you ridden a camel?
I've ridden a camel and an elephant.
When did you kill a snake? Was it just attacking you?
It was around the time where the earlier stories took place, so in 2005 or something.
A snake was just lurking around in our garden.
And my mother saw it once.
And she was like really afraid.
Ran inside and she told us about it.
No one saw it.
So two days later, same snake sneaks up in our kitchen.
Which our house was a house.
Let's just put it that way.
And so it was pretty open.
And like these kind of things would easily could sneak in
from underneath the doors so uh that was uh that was a problem from small little insects and stuff
but when a snake snuck in that was a real big deal in our house so everyone's panicking and stuff
and i'm like oh my god i'm really scared shitless right now because we have no idea what kind of
snake it is we don't know anything about snakes so uh i just uh pick up my
shoe that i was wearing and start throwing it at it and it was it would move like one feet one
meter away and then it would just come back and start doing her thing in the corner so eventually
i pick up a knife from the kitchen and my mother starts giving not that knife not that knife
that's my favorite knife so anyway i just throw the same knife at the snake, and I hit it right in the middle of its body.
So yeah, it was a really well throw. I was really surprised by my throw.
Anyway, so I injure it, and it starts doing her thing and moving really fast in there, and eventually it just dies.
Panicking, yeah. And it start like doing her thing and moving really fast in there and eventually it just dies.
Panicking, yeah.
For a split second when you threw that knife and it instantly like killed the fucking snake.
Did you consider maybe I – am I a goddamn superhero?
Should I be walking the streets of Iraq every night with like a bandolier of blades attached?
Am I Steven Seagal?
That was what I was wondering.
But yeah, at the moment I was like, oh my god, that was badass.
And the snake started moving still.
It still was moving.
So I was like, oh my god, that was fail.
And I threw another shoe at it.
It was still moving.
But after a few minutes, it just died.
We had a snake in my backyard.
And it was pretty.
Sorry?
What kind of snake did it end up being?
Would it have messed you up if it bit you?
Or did you just throw it away?
I have no idea.
Let me tell my snake story.
It was black.
A bit gray to black.
I put a few garbage bags on my hand.
Like gloves.
And picked it up and threw it in the streets.
In the middle of the mud and water.
That was dominating our streets.
Man, it seems like snake-proofing your doors
is like, that would be high on my list.
Yeah, not in the
Rax engineers list.
They didn't think about these kind of things.
They don't mind snakes.
We're in my backyard building like a
swing set for my kids. And I've got like a
friend or two over, you know, constructing it.
And the snake in the
backyard is black and it's like
i don't know four or five feet long like it was a good size snake and someone points it out and i
don't know snakes like i don't know anything about them but i'm like you know what do we do here like
should i kill it should i not kill it like is it is it keeping the mice away and he's like well
if my kids were playing in this backyard i'd kill kill the snake. So I'm like, all right.
And I had a shovel nearby, and I kind of used it as a spear.
Instantly, I cut off its head.
It just went right through it.
It was no trouble.
It wiggled around a bit, but clearly it had been decapitated.
And the same guy, he gets up and takes a closer look at the snake and goes,
oh, yeah, no, that one was fine.
Now I'm a murderer so my uh my grandpa he was walking
with my my younger brother in the woods this is when we were both much much younger like he was
probably seven or something and they're walking through the woods at my grandparents farm and
there was coiled up rattlesnake there and And my grandpa saw it and was like, hey, look at that snake right there.
Look at that snake.
And as my brother was looking at it, just kind of, it's not like getting closer, being stupid or something.
Just kind of like doing that child inquisitive, like what is this new creature?
Like I've never seen this before.
Like filling in paradigms and archetypes.
And then right as he was doing that that my grandpa had quietly like lifted his
shotgun up and he just boom just blew the entire center of where the snake was coiled oh into
oblivion yeah like and my brother just started crying and crying my grandpa was like well shit
it would have bit you as soon as you walk over there like this like yeah it would have like
that's a good thing he did uh he that's not even the last time he killed an animal in front of us.
He skinned a raccoon in front of us once.
He tied, there was a tree in the backyard, and he caught a raccoon.
And I don't know why he skinned it, but he tied it by its tail up to, like, the branch.
You know, I'm sure Kyle's seen this done.
And then basically you take your knife and you cut around the skin of the,
the tail.
And then you reach in with your fingers and like,
you're pulling the plastic off of a new piece of electronics.
You just all the way down.
And I can say it's still,
the image is still in my head sitting on the porch looking at that totally
skinned raccoon with its entire body of skin
just hanging like a coat that it almost took off just from its arms and being like man this is this
is real shit right here see the raccoon i'm kind of on board with but the snake that's just not
good grandparenting right oh it definitely is what a good grandparent no okay a good thing to say
would be oh there's a rattlesnake.
Stand behind me, right?
And then you kill the rattlesnake
and the kids are like,
I remember that time grandpa saved me.
Not, hey, Taylor's brother,
go check out that snake
and like off guard, kill it.
Go make friends and then like sniped it out from under him.
To the side and behind him, so it was safe.
It was just, or to the side at least.
But it was, I don't know, it was funny.
That raccoon though, man, I can still picture that.
I thought we were going to eat it, and that creeped me out.
And then I was like, oh, thank God raccoon isn't the meat that you eat.
It's probably lean meat.
No, no, no, people eat it.
They definitely fucking eat it.
Richard Christie tells the story about his, he's a stern writer. He tells the story about his he's a stern writer
he tells the story about his dad back in kansas and like he like he eats roadkill for one thing
if it's fresh but but one of the things that he used to always do is i guess the black people in
that area ate raccoon and so he would go and get raccoon and then and sell the raccoon meat to them
and they were like so he skins the raccoons and he just shows up with like a cooler for raccoon
meat and they buy it he's's like, well, no.
You leave the skin on.
That way they know it's a real raccoon
and not a cat.
I said, fuck.
So that's a problem in their lives?
Counterfeit raccoon meat?
I just imagined
like a black eye or
god damn it, Maisie,
you got tricked again.
That's a cat.
I ain't no coon.
I'm not eating cat meat tacos again.
I won't pretend it's the same.
I've lowered myself to raccoon meat.
I'll go not a step lower.
What if it actually is really good?
No, it's not.
He said it tasted okay.
He said it tasted like uh barbecue he he told another
story where like his mom prepared like this barbecued raccoon and then this other ladies
over there like oh this rack this this barbecue is so good she's like munching this big sandwich
of it up and she's like what is it you know she thinks it's pork or is it beef or what is this
it's chicken it's like it's raccoon and everybody's just oh oh because chicken? It's raccoon. And everybody's just... Because nobody
wants to eat raccoon.
I wouldn't want to. Ahmed, would you
eat a raccoon? I would not.
I would not. I have no idea.
All the animals are the same to me.
I'm really concerned about eating.
I don't eat anything. I'm not... Sorry?
Are you familiar with a raccoon? I don't know if they exist.
Yeah, I know what a raccoon
is, but I've never seen one
outside of a zoo.
My friend Kitty, she didn't know what a skunk was.
Oh my god.
No.
And she certainly didn't know
what a skunk did.
She didn't associate the smell of skunk with skunks.
So when her dog gets sprayed
with a skunk, she's like,
Oh no, what's happened to puppy? She's foaming at the mouth.
I'm like, hang on, I'll be right there.
And she opens my bedroom door without me, like,
and the dog just runs into my room and jumps in bed with me,
foaming at the mouth and covered in skunk spray.
And she's like, fuck.
Well, the next couple...
Oh, they're all gone
that stink coats the goddamn walls
you've got to take like soapy towels
and scrub your goddamn walls
after that happens
I've never smelled that
but I've always heard about it
but I don't know that sounds brutal
you can smell them on the road just driving by
like if there was a skunk that
sprayed anywhere near a road,
and it's not just like a two-second like, oh.
It's like for a while you're like, did somebody fart?
And then it becomes like not did someone fart.
It's like this is way too intense for a fart.
Like, oh, goddamn fucking skunk.
Two miles is not an exaggeration.
Like if there's a roadkill skunk.
It's ridiculous.
Yeah.
Holy shit.
I never knew.
If you get sprayed by a skunk it's not like i guess
we're taking another shower this morning it's like hey yeah you know those meetings scheduled
next friday no i'm not gonna make it i smell like shit no just trust me and there's stuff to do i
don't like you're supposed to bathe in um tomato tomato juice i was gonna say v8 i knew it was
wrong but yeah you're supposed to bathe in tomato juice. I guess that somehow neutralizes it.
But I met a dog that had been bathed in tomato juice.
Not totally neutralized.
No, you don't totally neutralize it.
I've had it a bunch of times where our dogs would get sprayed.
One time when I was like maybe 15 or so, my dad's dog is fighting with a skunk in some bushes.
Like they're just – i don't know what
they're doing but you can hear them like the dog's going ape shit and this weasel is is making noises
and then and and you can smell it so like i go into the the bushes with a stick it's a steel
steel rod actually and i get there and they're like facing off against each other and the dog's
got like slobber and drool all over its face because i think the spray makes them foam with the mouth and he's been shaking the thing and the skunk's a little shaky
you can tell he's been shaking a few times they're about the same size and i was like that skunk's
not even not even looking at at me and just fucking ended his ass like immediately before
he could like spray me at all but he had sprayed the dog, I don't know how many consecutive times, like for five minutes
or something. I don't even know how that works.
He was shooting blinds.
Like multiple sprays.
Is there like a refractory period
after the second spray?
No, they're like women.
They're just squirting all that
constantly. But at a certain point,
there is that refractory period of it
has to remake its skunk gland juice, you know?
Yeah.
And so maybe like after five minutes of continuous spray, it's going to be like, all right, this is unbelievable.
But you're going to smell like shit forever.
But man.
It'll stink a long time.
Did you see that news story about the fake Miami Dolphins player?
No.
No.
Well, allow me to share you. Is that hockey, Miami Dolphins player? No. Well, allow me to share you.
Is that hockey?
Miami Dolphins?
Miami Dolphins is football.
American football.
Oh, football.
So this guy,
and I'll share it with the stream.
Oh, that is fucking hilarious.
I don't know how I felt about this so look miami dolphins
player scams women into sleeping with him for three years dude comma gets caught
look at this i made history by running a 30 in the 20-yard shovel fastest nfl
combine ever whatever there's pictures it's like just deliberately like
masks and blurs and things like that.
Oh, he never shows his number, right?
He's just like, hey, this is me playing for the Dolphins this weekend.
It looks like there's three numbers on the back of that guy who's running,
if you look.
There's three numbers.
Are you looking at?
Oh, yeah.
For a combine, though.
Yeah, yeah.
Oh, for a combine.
Yeah, go down a bit.
Look at picture number four
it says maserati oh he's got a special filter on there to make it like the contract the angle like
there's no number on it i think they typically no maybe not i was gonna say they had numbers in
the deltoid but yeah he's like group photos you don't know which one is him this guy's just been
brilliantly faking playing for miami for like three years and he got all these women
to fuck him for it and this late yeah but and at first i was like oh what an asshole but then i was
like wait a minute his only victims were gold digging whores and they look at this they look
at the women yeah yeah i see it oh my this one brilliant. It's just a picture that's probably from like Getty Images or something.
Which number is it?
Their number.
It's the one of the Dolphins huddle.
If there's a number, just look right above it.
Number six, probably.
Six.
Yeah, number six.
It's just a big Getty Images photo of a bunch of Dolphins players.
This could be a huddle from years ago.
Years, years, years ago. And he just says
in the huddle with, you know, go
Finns in the most ridiculous thing.
And it's like, this is a perfect
picture of the post because it's like, which one is he?
Most of their names aren't showing
and they got like
visors on so you can't see their face.
I'm sure he's there.
Like, that guy
ran the best fucking scam.
And the fact that it wasn't like constantly getting called out
meant that he was doing it well.
He was doing it well.
And you know what he's going to do now,
now that the Chive or whoever's called him out,
whatever's happened to him,
he's going into free agency.
He's moving to a city near you folks.
Buffalo might pick him up
perhaps they just had a down year hey maybe the falcons could use some help in their secondary
this man can help so excited to be a member of one of the first new squads for the hashtag la rams
starting off on the practice squad but i know i can work my way up. Hashtag hard work.
Look at picture number three.
He's posing that as him signing his contract with the dolphins.
It's just like, there's a strong black guy.
It could be me filter the hell out of it.
You don't know.
And he's like,
Hey,
put the filter on that makes the black guy in the photo look like he's just a
couple stripes of red ink and the rest is just background.
Yeah, make me look like background radiation.
It makes it as difficult as possible
to see everyone in the picture.
I want to appear like dark energy
appears on radio telescopes.
This is me signing my contract
in UV.
Got an infrared one later. So is he a bad guy for pulling this scam
or is he kind of like the predator where his only victims are bad people
uh he he's a he's a bad person he's a bad person and the people he's scamming are probably not
great people but they should know better than to they like if you're if you think you're going out
with a professional athlete like you think you'd ask a couple qualifying questions, right?
Like, man, what's it like being on the Washington Capitals
or the Miami Dolphins?
Oh, it's great, you know, not a lot of free time.
Yeah, I noticed that.
It's in the middle of the week, and there's a game on Sunday,
and you're having dinner with me on Friday.
You're not a Dolphins player, are you?
I am not.
Okay, just wanted to I am not. Okay.
No, I don't think chicks don't ask questions like that. I feel like
it would just be established. It would be a
thing.
They just believe it. They want to believe
it, of course.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You'd need something
really... They're unfamiliar
with the ins and outs of the NFL and what an NFL
player would do and should do and all that stuff like we could spot this forgery i think
because we've all watched a couple of nfl games at least and we know a little bit about the nfl and
like and about social media and we can all look at this guy and he doesn't look like an nfl player
from being 100 honest like he looks a little chunky and he certainly isn't running a 3-0 in the 40 right
is that what he said nfl players can look like that i just feel like i get his name
and then google it and it wouldn't take long before he was like oh my name is you know johnny
williams even the smallest triple a ball players like you you know like when you get followed by
somebody on twitter like it like notifies you and like some guy like pete jimmy john will follow me
and i'll be like who the fuck is that and I'll google it real quick
and be like ah okay he plays like triple A ball
for like the Yankees or something
like that like it's easy to google
these people down
I mean I don't know three years is a long time
he did it for three years that's pretty amazing
oh he's still gonna do it
it's not over it's not like he got called out on CNN
he got called out on the fucking Chai
well I found it on Reddit.
But I just feel like
the stroke of brilliance here was targeting
the bimbo market. You can fool them
for years and years and years,
and they'll never catch on.
They're playing the same game, too. You'd think they'd catch on.
Mmm.
He plays it better.
Man, that is pretty funny,
though.
Why would you not just Google him or at least look it up on ESPN.com?
That's the thing.
All you need is his name.
Girls are not going to do that.
They don't care about how many blocks he got last year.
They care about how much he paid.
Who cares about that?
That's probably Google-able as well.
That's what I do.
Let's just say, if a female athlete were going to potentially fucking date me,
I'd be like, how much does this bitch make?
Oh, shit, yes.
All right, we've done it.
Okay, well, if it's a female athlete, you're going to be like, wow, how much does it pay to be in the WNBA?
You owe them money.
That's unreal.
You have to pay for your own jerseys.
That's ridiculous. I'm to pay for your own jerseys.
That's ridiculous.
I'm so sorry.
And the electrical?
Which female sports do you actually like watching?
Oh, watching?
Well, MMA.
MMA, tennis.
Is that the whole list?
I don't like watching tennis.
I was going to say, though, if you're going to pick a chick from a sport to hook up with or marry or whatever.
Or even where are female sports maybe on the same tier as the men we're close none of them at all I mean in competition but I don't like watching men play tennis chess chess they have
separate women's divisions too which is I'm not trying to say they're even in talent that women could hang out
with the yeah what i'm saying is where is there a sport where the interest in the women's sport
is in the same general vicinity as the man mma oh among us or among among the planet you know
if it's the planet mildly interested in in women's uh beach volleyball whenever that comes on that's
a good one.
Yep, yep.
No, no, no, but let's be real.
You like that?
If they were wearing full suits and a top hat out there, you wouldn't watch it.
You're not watching being like, man, look at that play.
You're watching going, look at that ass.
Yeah, yeah.
On a strong point, Kyle, I'll also add women's pole vault to the list.
All of the sports where they don't have to wear much.
Well, I mean, I don't know.
Women's running. I like women swimming oh women's running is great when they stretch out before and their
fucking hamstrings look like no no we're missing the point
i want to massage those hamstrings so bad like it's a coconut oil and just
i want to be your grease boy that's what i want like i want to be i want to be your grease boy. That's what I want. I want to be an Olympic runner's grease boy.
I want her to be like, grease boy, I'm getting dry.
And I want to fucking be running with that bucket of lard or whatever I put in it and just fucking run.
Coconut oil.
I can't eat it, so rub it on me.
Listening in the sun.
Yeah. I think of all the sports that women play, as far as the interest level being highest,
it has to be MMA, at least if we're talking just about a US-centric thing.
I mean, I don't know.
You, being of the world, Ahmed, you follow soccer more, I'm sure.
Do people watch women's soccer?
People do watch women's soccer people yeah people do watch women's soccer is pretty
popular but uh i am not a very big soccer fan i'm more of an nba guy i like i like basketball and
i watch tennis sometimes but soccer is like low on my list because i'm thinking about it like the
really popular sport there right now because basketball is growing like crazy in china too in china yeah but in iraq it never like uh got more
popular than it ever was but it's always been there you know it's always one of the activities
at school so i was in a team and we won a championship uh on the city level that's awesome
that was fun goes without saying i assume but not a lot of hockey
in in the middle east no yeah no i've i've never even heard about hockey before i moved to to
europe so good i didn't even know what hockey was i think all women's sports are popular because
the women are hot like i'm thinking about this people don't watch women's tennis because
the tennis itself is good the man the 100th ranked
man would beat the top ranked woman right i think an interesting 100th ranked one did but uh i think
you got to look at if you look at gymnastics for example then you find a sport where a great
where women have are talented in different areas and they're shaped in different ways and their
strength is and lies in different places and so they compete in a very different way than men. The men's gymnasts
are sometimes showing off incredible strength, especially core strength. They throw in the rings
and stuff like that. But some of those female gymnasts are doing incredible things that I don't
know if the men can do. And if they can do it, it won't look as good. And oftentimes that's part of
the competition is how it looks. So in women in women's gymnastics and i love women's gymnastics because they wear those
fucking onesies and their asses fucking hanging out and and the photographer when they do the
floor thing where they start on one corner of the floor and they like take like four big steps and
they start tumbling to the other corner those photographers every time the crotch axis rotates toward them, they're like,
fire this fucking camera off,
fucking AK-47.
Got it.
There's just camel toe.
And just,
these are the most. Does it bother you that they're 14?
I would say it doesn't.
Just based on the way this is going.
They're not all 14.
There are some young ones, I'm sure.
They're not going to stay 14.
Many, many, many.
The Chinese send in these 8-year-old little kids
and claim they're fucking adults and shit.
But as far as the United States and most of the other countries go,
they're just fucking hot.
And they're like 18 to 24.
That seems like a real good range that they're in.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That really is the best example you could come up with.
I want to say gymnastics.
If it comes to how good they are at the sport,
I like women's MMA too.
I won't say they're as good as the guys,
but they're so much better than regular people.
It's entertaining.
I would say this.
A lot of people watching MMA
can't tell the talent
difference between the women and the men right yeah that's true because you don't know what
you're looking for really unless you know what you're looking for like if you're not familiar
with the sport you're like okay this is two women beating the shit out of each other and after this
i'm gonna watch two guys beat the shit out of each yeah and the women match the men in heart
typically yeah yeah women's mixed martial art arch just works in a way that I think women's boxing doesn't even work because of the nature of boxing.
There's a lot of padding there.
And it's just like the caliber of woman it takes to use, I think they use 8-ounce gloves, to hit another woman with 8-ounce gloves and actually fucking knock her unconscious.
That just doesn't really exist.
At least it doesn't exist in high enough numbers that you can build a sport around it but in mma there's several girls who with those
four ounce gloves i presume in mma yeah what the women also wear four ounce gloves because you know
in women's nba three fan falls smaller and such i hear you all right yeah but but in any case in mma
they knock each other the fuck out they They break arms. They cut each other.
They beat buddy.
Yeah, the competition is at the same level, whether the talent is or not.
And in the WNBA, you're just not seeing the same level of athleticism
because it's against not only other players of the same caliber,
but they've got a fucking rim.
They need to lower the rim or something, make it more look like the guys game.
Get them in there dunking or something.
Give them a trampoline.
Whatever it takes.
Trampoline.
A trampoline idea is brilliant.
Remember that sport?
I do.
Do you remember that sport?
It might have been on Spike TV.
Was it called slam ball?
Slam ball.
Yeah.
That was the most ridiculous sport.
It was a basketball court, folks, that was littered with trampolines built into the floor
with padding around them.
And occasionally,
yes,
players would fall between the trampoline and the padding and either get
injured or stuck.
Don't forget the boards.
There were a hockey like boards around the side and checking is legal.
They are fucking getting elevated.
All right.
Like these guys are all like college and there's something like they're not
NBA talent,
but these guys can play ball and they are just flying through the air. It was it was fun to watch
I'm gonna get a slam ball video. All right, I got one
aren't women better than men in figure skating and ice skating and that kind of stuff I
Don't know. No, no
Ice skating, definitely not.
No.
Women aren't the best.
Who's the best ballet dancer of all time?
Think, right?
It's going to be one.
You can only think of one name.
Who's the only ballet dancer whose name you can even think of, right?
Is it Baryshnikov?
Is that the guy's name?
Apparently not even one.
Yeah.
I have no idea.
Vershinikov?
Yeah, Baryshnikov.
Alevnebev?
Just throw a bunch of Vs and Oves?
Baryshnikov.
I've got slam ball on for the people.
I just watched a huge check.
Yeah, I'm watching some slam ball right now that I just linked to you guys.
This is a sport that should have taken off.
This should be what the NBA is.
Oh, my God. god no it shouldn't it takes regular people and it makes them superheroes it's amazing imagine how dangerous this would be if it was a real
professional sport where they were getting the best of the best people because a couple of these
guys just look like they're just here for fun Like they they wouldn't make the cut if they started getting paid for this nonsense
Not a lot of dribbling I've noticed
When you described it, I thought like it was some kind of a joke or a game show
But this looks like this looks like a real sport. This is amazing
Dude, I want to watch more slam ball
Yeah, I like how you can lay it up to yourself.
20 feet dunk them.
How high is the ramp?
I think it's the same height.
Oh, it must be.
Yeah, because they're getting the ball up to the top of the backboard.
It's a pretty silly sport.
They're putting the ball down into the
hoop.
That was a good check.
I was going to say there wouldn't be
any defense played in this game.
Right at that point, someone blocks
a shot. That was pretty nice.
I like all these sports like this.
Whenever they try to come up with a new thing.
Do you remember BattleBots?
I liked fucking BattleBots. Going there withc uh robots and fight to the death oh i was
always so annoyed by that because there was a trend where the battle bots basically there was
another show where they did it too on like the science channel or something where they put in
all these robots that people like usually dads and their sons or something in some team makes
and they have a weapon and all the ones that i'd want to win would have like cool ass pincers on the front to like grab you and then
some saw would come out like right at it or the cool one would like explode to like flip you over
a bunch and always always the ones that won was some boring piece of shit just circular you know
clock-shaped thing that had a couple of nubs and spun obscenely fast
That's always what one because it's like oh what it would
What's the big pins are gonna do when he comes in and gets the the top of Imhotep and he goes to squeeze
It's like oh, what do you think what do you know all the little frail appendages fell right?
Almost like it was made in the garage and soldered by a 12 year old like oh my god this is crazy it's like yeah of course you
fucking won like it was annoying i didn't did you agree kyle you know what i mean i liked it i liked
it um but you you did get into like there were some stylistic matchups that just didn't work
um i always felt like the uh the obstacle the the hazards on the course they had these hazards built
in like there were some hammers that would
come down and just continuously... Flaming
stuff. There were flames.
There were lots of stuff.
Saw blades that would just come up.
Saw blades would just come up from the floor.
I felt like those were not dangerous enough.
It didn't seem that putting your opponent
into one of those was really anything other than
the crowd. It's never a knockout blow.
If I made a
robot and someone
on the field that started getting sprayed by fire,
you'd just be like, I made this out of metal.
You told me I had to make this out of metal
to enter the contest. I'm not worried about
your fire. But the pit one,
I remember being annoying sometimes
because they would open the pit when it was behind
one of them instead of just having it open.
And then it's like, oh, well, you've opened a real Sarlacc pit
for the pincer machine now and for this top to knock him in.
That was a fun show.
I don't know exactly what they do,
but I feel like we need the minds behind Slam Ball
to hold a golf tournament and just see what happens.
Did you hear the best golfer in the world fell down the stairs today
and might be out for the Masters?
Oh, no.
I don't know who the best golfer in the world is.
I don't know.
I don't know shit about golf.
I just saw it on Twitter earlier today,
and a bunch of people were freaking out because they, like,
bet money on him, I guess.
Oh, no.
He's the number one golfer in the world,
and it's so close to the Masters being started,
and he fell downstairs at his own house apparently and might have injured
himself and it's like
it's funny because I couldn't care any less
if it was the best
if it was a women's
if it was the 16th best
women's curler I would
care more
she cannot sweep tonight
something about golf is phenomenally uninteresting to me.
I just want to cruise around golf courses on my paramotor and fuck with people.
That's what I want.
They're going to hit balls at you.
They'd have to get some real elevation to make that work.
It seems like I'm at a real disadvantage since all I want to do is...
Give me a nine-inch.
It would seem like things could go terribly for me, but
in my dreams, it goes great.
If you had to golf right now,
would you be able to go out there and be like,
all right, I can... Let's say
Elon Musk calls you up
and he's like, the way you've been steering
your paramotor videos, the way you're
controlling that centripetal motion,
it's giving me some good ideas for my tunnels
or whatever the fuck you would say.
Let's talk about it on a round of golf.
My tunnels.
My tunnels are what everyone does.
He's going to have moving tunnels.
Go on.
He'd take you on a golf run,
and you're going to talk about it the whole time
like presidents do.
It's a nice golf course.
You're going to go out there and do it.
Would you be like, all right, I can bullshit through this? Or would you you about to take the first swing be like oh my god i i'm sorry mr
musk i'm actually too busy today i gotta go like dude i so i've been to the drive i've never played
golf i've been to the driving range and i've played mini golf so i have like like i know how bad i am
um when i watch people drive i feel like I could do the motion.
If I swing a baseball bat, people who play baseball will recognize me as someone who sucks at swinging.
But people who don't will say, yeah, he swings a bat like everybody else.
It's kind of a thing.
Somehow in golfing, I didn't do that.
My follow through wasn't coming back up over my shoulder.
It was kind of low.
I was somehow like a baseball that hit the ground and didn't finish right.
And it would hook or loop or whatever the fuck it did.
Keeping your left arm straight.
We got into, we started driving balls.
And then we got someone to help us drive the balls.
And by the end, I got pretty good at hitting them straight.
And pretty fucking far, like a couple hundred yards or something but the thing was that that helped me was not
trying to hit it hard at all like trying to hit it like 60 70 just really focusing on on keeping
the club face uh closed and not not opening up and not slicing it
and just hitting it straight and square.
And the club and the ball are so fucking advanced that they kind of do the rest.
That's the thing about golf that I don't –
apparently good golfers make good decisions,
and they often do things at 60%.
They lay up and then make it in two shots rather than try to make it in one
and turn it into four or something like that.
But in every other sport, it's like,
well, shit, if you don't push yourself,
you'll never get to that level.
But apparently in golf,
you just make conserved decisions all the time, I'm told.
In golf, I would think it's more like,
all right, this is a 500-yard hole
and I can hit it 400 yards because they're pros.
I guess that's probably a super, super long drive.
I have no idea.
I can hit it 400 yards and maybe hit that sand trap that's right there,
or I think I'm going to hit it 370 yards, land it right there on the fairway,
and then knock it up.
I think that's what Kyle was describing more, right?
Yeah.
What I had, I think the low 300s is pretty fucking far, right? That's what the prosyle was describing more right yeah what i had i think like three the low
300s is pretty fucking far right like that's that's what the pros do isn't it i don't know
i can golf like enough that i won't be embarrassed when i go out but i'm not good but i do the same
thing you do kyle like just go at like 50 60 and try and get it to go straight instead of just trying to smash it and then having it hook
most of the way off the airway
280 okay. Yeah. Yeah. Well, maybe I'm thinking of like what I was smashing and like Mario Golf
Yeah, I think I could make it through we golf
There was a point where the Wii was like really interesting right like everyone
was excited about the wii was the biggest selling console all that stuff and i went over to a
friend's house and he had a wii and we were doing wii bowling right so i'm not a great bowler or
anything but i'm trying to be and i'm going and i'm switched you know i'm turning the wrist i'm
doing the hook and and it looks like i can bowl and my friend would just take it, take the controller,
bop it in his palm,
and take what he got.
And like, I don't know,
he finished like second out of four or something.
Like he didn't give a fuck.
He was just like,
Bap, your turn.
That bothers me in games like Wii stuff
when people are like too cool for school
and they're like,
I'm not going to stand up and pretend I'm bowling
for this bowling simulator game. I'm going to sit here smugly and wrap it against my wrist to show i'm
above your games people like i don't like that like when you're playing we tennis and somebody's
sitting down i haven't played in so long but that bothered me back when i did play at some when we
first got a we high school like just doing the i don't know i saw kyle your face turned a little
bit too you that bothers you too right yeah don't participate yeah i haven't done a lot of that when wings was
here we got him that uh that fit we maybe as a we fitness or something like that that's one of the
things that we uh spent spent that money on and uh i liked that thing uh and we all got up and did
the thing you know it was i think there was a dancing thing. I don't know.
I don't even remember all the different games.
But now that I've got the Vive,
it's like that seems so old school.
That seems so rudimentary
when you can actually go into the world
and do all that stuff.
I've got a game that you listen to songs.
You pick the song, and the song starts playing.
And to the beat of the song
and at the speed of the song,
these orange or blue orbs are flying at you faster and faster. And you and to the beat of the song and at the speed of the song these orange or
blue orbs are flying at you faster and faster and you have to punch them and you have an orange hand
and a blue hand you have to hit them you have to hit the right one with the right hand and so
you're throwing like combinations and stuff it's i after a three or four minute song you're just
right yeah it's good though right you're getting your heart rate up it's like when I got a DDR pad dance dance revolution for anybody doesn't know when
I was like I don't know 15 and I started doing that every day just having fun
with it like I started losing weight like just because I was having so much
fun dancing on that goddamn machine and it was always one of those hobbies where
it was like you're doing it to like some ridiculous song and it's like keep it up
Step on or whatever like a nonsense
It would say as you're dancing and it was in this like we had it in a room in our basement
We're like you couldn't hear people coming and every time like a friend or like someone was coming over
Unexpectedly and they didn't know about the DDR room and they open the door
You have to do the same thing as like when you're masturbating you're like oh oh who left this on who could have been dancing in here what a what a what an idiot i'm
not sweaty you're sweating like you're sweaty i did this that was so much fun though team building
event for woody craft where we like race go karts or whatever i've talked about it before but one of
the things that we did i took them to it wasn't a Dave & Buster's. I don't think there's a
Dave & Buster's in Raleigh. It was like a
cheesy version of it. And they had a
DDR machine. And we're all going out
there and we all suck and it's whatever.
Somebody on my
staff, I forget who, it might have been
Chiz, but I'm not positive, was actually
good at it. And he was just shredding
everybody else at DDR.
It's like, ah, you've got talent you're
doing the freaking double jumps when you go the endurance approach and you go chiz i challenge
you to ddr seven songs from now that's what you did maybe yeah but it was just like wait like it
was almost like he cheated like no no this is the not good at people league.
What are you doing?
You're not good at the game league.
I had a friend who was so into DDR that he built his own pad.
Built his own what?
His own pad, like his own dance pad.
Like he saw that we had one and ours wasn't even like nice.
It was like not that much to get one at the time.
And he was like, I don't want to to do that and now he's a computer programmer and so he went to home depot in a like circuit
city and got ordered like printed out some like paper pads for the aero directionals and he made
his own pad with like sensors to do we're like 15 at the time so it was really impressive that he
did this and he got so into it he went from being 40 pounds overweight to maybe five pounds overweight over the course of a summer as like a 15 year old from doing that.
Because he had that bar on the back.
You know what I'm talking about?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I never got to the bar level.
Like I never danced so fucking hard that my body was a bus.
We're restricting you.
You have to become a marionette to dance as fast as is required.
If you don't know anything about DDR,
some of the songs are so impossibly fast
that gravity isn't fast enough for when you lift your foot up
to have to put it back down again.
You have to be able to force your feet down to hit it,
and so you have to hold onto a bar behind you
and then just go,
with your feet moving around like a like a wizard like an irish dancer
exactly like a like your irish dancing and he would do that and it would always draw a crowd
at every arcade we would go to and i would never went to any arcades but i'd go to movies with them
and their movie theater always hadn't like an arcade and so we'd always like bamboozle me into
getting to movies like 40 minutes early so I could sit there and basically watch him as a huge crowd of people.
And it was funny to watch people be like, oh my god.
And some people, like the younger people, like RH, would be like, man, that's really cool.
Like, oh, I've played this.
But anyone who's a little bit older, an adult, would be like, oh, what's happening?
What's happening to the world?
This isn't music. And that's not dancing guitar hero does that too like if you see someone who's good at guitar hero and like the things come so fast it's all going like you can hardly comprehend it and i
got but let's say there's a level above good right so you can be great at guitar hero i got good at
it you know i could beat this,
I think every song on hard,
but only some of them on expert.
And, but people who could really rock it
and finish like the hardest Fire and Flames,
that like, I remember,
I think I saw it on Reddit or Dig or something.
It's like parents are finally impressed
by our video game skills
because that game looks impossible
to the uninitiated it really does like it gets
so stressful so quick because you get like one like and you're just like ah well all is lost
like yeah oh or like you're crushing it and then somehow you lost your momentum and like six or
twelve things fall apart until you get back in the groove and now you're just battling whatever.
The crowd booing you off the stage.
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There's trees down.
The internet went out for like a whole fucking day at one point.
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but the lightning was so close.
And then I heard that telltale sound of hail falling.
Tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick.
I was like, oh, fuck my car.
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Yeah, we got hail a couple days ago as well.
Not dime-sized, though.
It's rough.
Hail sucks.
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Probably my favorite
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When I'm inside and I'm home.
But when I'm not inside and
home, it's just stressful.
Even though it's probably less dangerous than
snow. Stones coming out of the
sky.
If you have seen hail in Iraq,
it's pretty rough. Sometimes we get it in the winter. Pretty rough. You get hail in Iraq, they are pretty rough.
Sometimes we get in the winter, pretty rough.
You get hail in the winter?
I didn't even know that.
Oh yeah.
I think those are mortar strikes.
They are rough.
They might be, but we get a lot of hail.
Because you're made of metal and very hot.
You know the funny thing is, in winter we get a lot of hail and rain and in the summer we get a
shit ton of sandstorms which are ridiculous like really hard to live through how long do they last
uh the longest sandstorm i've experienced was about two weeks two weeks so what does that
entail it entails that basically there is no life outside of your house.
There's no one outside.
Not for two weeks, but maybe for three or four days when it's heaviest.
So there's basically nothing outside.
No life, no shops, nothing open.
Because if you go outside, your skin will be pierced by sand.
I mean, it's that hardcore.
You just get sandblasted oh yeah
you can look it up and negev sandstorms are ridiculous like where i lived because it's
basically adjacent to the desert in saudi arabia because that's the south of iraq so if you type
negev sandstorms they are ridiculous and so yeah i've been through a few of those man that sucks that's
a natural event i didn't even consider sandstorms yeah sandstorms are ridiculous there because of
the desert and there's a lot of uh a lot of wind at the time of the year so basically it translates
to a lot of sandstorms do they come in just unexpectedly like oh i guess it's a sandstorm time yeah
really i don't know where you mentioned that you learned a lot of english off the start from
watching tv shows and movies and stuff was there anything that was lost in translation
that you figured out later where you're like oh i shouldn't be saying things like that or oh
that doesn't mean at all what i thought it did because it seems like like i imagine if i had to learn french
from french movies i would say things off the start at least in very odd ways that french
people be like what when god's this is just quoting peppy lepew all the time yeah
i've had i've had that a lot especially with with English, because as you said, I learned it from movies and TV shows and stuff.
But later on, I started picking up books that were translated or maybe had a side of English or something.
And I started after accessing the internet in 2007 for the first time.
Well, that was a whole nother world to explore.
So I started reading a lot there and posting on forums and stuff in English and Arabic.
So that helped a lot as well i like to think you use stuff like yippee-ki-yay motherfucker in
everyday language just like you know you guys you guys want to go to chipotle yippee-ki-yay
motherfucker yeah from my teenage days uh like 2003 2004 2004, I had a PlayStation 2.
And I used to play Grand Theft Auto and Mortal Kombat and that kind of games.
I also used to play a siphon filter game.
Maybe you've heard of it.
PlayStation 2 game.
Fantastic game.
Anyway, so I was at a level where there was something going on in a closed room and there was a whole thing going on.
I basically couldn't progress in the level because I couldn't understand much of what they would say or what the mission was.
So I just go around, go around.
Apparently, I found a few Easter eggs about two people having sex in a room and I had no idea what was going on.
So 10 years later, I don't know how in the hell I came across it.
But I was on the Internet looking up Syphon Filter,
and I see some video on YouTube about that exact scene,
and it hits me immediately.
I'm like, oh my god, this is it.
So I click on it, and it's apparently two people having sex
and saying some ridiculous things,
basically some S&M shit going on.
And yeah, that's ridiculous, because I was like 13,
and I had no idea what was going on.
My mother was sitting next to me.
That is a lot of patience to be like, oh man, I want to play this game,
but I can't read all of the instructions they're giving me.
I guess I'll just figure it out.
If so much of games are in English and they're like,
oh, you need to go find the Ruby of Mystery if you're looking to find
this side quest chest of treasure.
And I'm like, no, I'm not.
I don't have to do that.
Off the top of my head, I remember Siphon Filter.
I remember, what was it?
Well, Grand Theft Auto, I mean, you just could go on a rampage.
But if you gave, oh, Hitman.
I wouldn't say Hitman 1 and 2.
I remember specifically getting stuck on the first level because I had no idea what I had to do.
I had to assassinate someone in a particular way and basically couldn't read English, so that was that.
So basically every time I boot up the game, wait half an hour for the game to boot up on the PlayStation 1 or 2
and then just do the same thing, kill a few guys in the same level and then turn off the game.
That's why Crash Bandicoot was my favorite game,
because it was so easy.
You didn't need to do anything.
You just run, crash stuff, and finish the level.
That was fun.
That was a great game.
Yeah.
So when you first started watching American movies
and TV shows and such,
had you been watching American media
for a long time at that point,
or was that more when you first started, and before that you'd watch just more regional entertainment
and such? I'm just trying to get a peg of like you really, that's right where you started
learning English and you didn't have any exposure to American media before you started buying
those DVDs because you didn't have internet I guess.
Yeah because DVDs was always my gateway and i remember like uh uh i used to buy a lost and
prison break and uh all every season that comes out they would immediately download it to a torrent
and burn it on thousand cds or dvds and then they start selling them really cheap so i would always
uh i actually have like a thousand dvd behind me in a closet i brought them with me to the
netherlands so i have them here it's ridiculous like if i show you my collection you'll be actually have like a thousand DVDs behind me in a closet. I brought them with me to the Netherlands.
So I have them here. It's ridiculous. Like if I show you my collection, you'll be impressed. Like it's a shit ton of DVDs anyway. So yeah, that's the beginning of my learning English. That was
my gateway. Like, is it something was watching the American shows? Is that something that was
totally fine at the time where everybody's like, Oh yeah, I like 24 too. Or is it something where
some people would be like,
oh, what are you doing watching an American show, asshole?
Or was there any of that?
Or more just, yeah, watch what you like.
Yeah, you're mistaking Iran.
Because in Iran, you would get that look.
In Iraq, they would be sold in shops just normally.
No one, even like the militia, the insurgents,
they didn't care about it.
I've heard The Simpsons.
The Simpsons is how a lot of people around the world apparently learn English. I think that's recently been overtaken by Friends as the sitcom or the program people use to learn.
I also watch Friends, yes. That was also one of the things that they taught me.
What if you pick Seinfeld instead and you just become a total narcissistic newsbag?
I also picked up Seinfeld.
I've watched pretty much everything.
At that time I always watched...
I still have Seinfeld and Friends.
Of course, those are classics.
I wish everybody was learning English with Seinfeld instead of Friends.
It doesn't impact me at all, but I wish I knew that was the fact out there.
You know, because it's just so much funnier.
I have AMA questions, and
I like this one, because it's
kind of, it works for everybody, I guess. It says,
what are you currently fixated on?
What is the current thing you are fixated
on? That's the question.
Right now,
besides the
ancient civilization stuff
with that Graham Hancockcock guy because i'm still
reading uh magicians of the gods i'm most of the way through it now i'm super fucking fascinated
by that i buy into that completely but the you know the civilization just has rebooted i just
believe it now because there's so much goddamn evidence and i think that if anyone listening
like looks into graham hancock and his and his books and his theories and his speeches on rogan
you'll probably agree it's it just seems seems like it happened so i'm
really fixated about it yeah uh how advanced was the civilization that got rebooted right like we're
not claiming they also landed on the moon like how far they get no nobody's claiming that what
they what they always do is um they say these they were definitely capable of those megalithic
structures, because that's all that's left behind.
That's all that we know that they were
capable of. If they made anything out of aluminum,
for example, it would have just returned to the Earth by
this amount of time. If they made anything
out of steel, it would have been gone too.
But there'd be evidence, right?
If New York City
was just, let's say, you give it
6,000 years to just deteriorate and turn down to earth and get overgrown with forest or whatever, I think there'd still be a lot of easily found.
There would still be a ton of stuff.
I think the point of the guy that Kyle's talking about is more like we get up to a point of like still very low tech, like stoneworking and shit, and then it's wiped off.
We've never made it to
combining metal types
and making...
There doesn't seem to be any evidence
for that in any
of that stuff, that it went that far.
I certainly don't believe that, but what is interesting
and it's something that I don't know very much about,
it's with their
astronomy. They can definitely it's with their astronomy.
They can definitely tell how advanced their astronomy got based on the way they built things and things that they took into account when making their calendars.
And there's this thing that happens.
Shit, what's the name?
What's it called?
It's something about every.
No, no.
It's something that happens over the course of thousands It's something that happens over the course of thousands
of years that changes the tilt of the Earth
and they knew about it. And the only way
they could know about it is if they had a very
high understanding of astronomy. It's clear that
they knew about it. And I
just can't recite to you why it
was clear. But they definitely know
that they got to a very high level of mathematics,
astronomy, and these
gigantic structures.
And also the stone cutting.
Some of the stones that they show, the way they're cut, they're just cut fucking straight.
It looks like a saw blade cut them and then went too far.
There's one stone where it looks like they made a little bit of a mistake,
and the blade went in too far or something like that.
And the archaeologists, where I really start buying in,
is when they say,
now let me tell you what the established people say did this.
And you tell me, which sounds more ridiculous, that some guys did that with bronze chisels and stone hammers,
which is their only tools, and what they say that the Egyptians and all those ancient cultures used
was a bronze chisel and a stone hammer. They're like, do it, do it, make one of those fucking used was a bronze chisel and a stone hammer.
They're like, do it.
Do it.
Make one of those fucking blocks with a bronze chisel and a stone hammer and have it be that perfect and that big.
And then start working on moving it.
I don't know.
I bought into that completely.
So I invite anyone else to look into it.
I'm going to sound like a raving lunatic or anything.
I'm not going to start talking to you about ayahuasca or anything like that.
But it really is fascinating.
But the other thing that I got into recently is Daniel Day-Lewis.
I guess today I went down a whole rabbit hole of Daniel Day-Lewis stuff and started watching.
I watched Lincoln two nights ago, and that was incredible.
I had never seen it before.
I've been saving it like a fine wine until I really wanted to watch something amazing.
And it lived up to what I thought.
And then I started to watch The Boxer boxer which is when he plays a boxer and i watched it because i heard joe rogan talk about it and how
like watch when daniel day lewis plays a boxer because he's not rocky balboa the shots aren't
one guy tees off on the other and then the other guy tees off back no it's boxing he's like watch
how he covers up watch how he moves and then i started watching it and then i like watched him
jump rope there's a scene of daniel day lewis watching it and then i like watched him jump rope there's
a scene of daniel day lewis jumping rope and he looks like ali or something it's going
like you can hear a jump rope there's just a different noise it makes when somebody knows
what they're fucking doing is doing and it's making that noise uh really impressed by daniel
day lewis so those two things are kind of taking up all my time right now is like being really
fascinated by all that the blackie teppie stuff and ancient civilization stuff and also like watching daniel day lewis movies
i am mine won't come as a surprise to many people but one thing i've been watching sopranos that's
my entertainment of choice right now and uh i'm almost excited to talk to kyle about sopranos i
have some some issues and some questions and such that People don't know, Kyle has seen Sopranos many times.
He's like a leading authority on it.
I've heard him come up with fan fiction off the top of his head
about how the movie should kick off after what seems like a closing scene
in the series finale that has no next step.
Yeah, like what do you do next from there?
Oh no, Tony's money's over there in Russia, and we got
that guy from the Pine Barrens episode
just floating around, that Russian commando.
Ah, there's all kinds of things.
Do you see what I'm talking about?
Anyway, so I've been watching The Sopranos
again, that's a thing. And then in
paramotoring, of course, paramotor
talk, but I did this Icarus
race in Florida, and
it kind of opened the door to a few
new things in paramoting first it was just getting up in the sky and existing in the sky and that was
like amazing to me and then I started doing some acro stuff which is like a branch of it and now
I'm going down to where I'm one learning acrobatics and two getting into cross country i have a friend who lives it's as the crow flies
it's like 30 miles now i'd have to fly a little longer to get around an airport and such but
the thing is the drive to his place sucks and it's like an hour you know because there's either
traffic on one side of this big lake or indirect roads on the other and And I'm like, dude, I should fly to his house, fly with him, and then fly home.
That would be like an adventure for me.
And I'm aspiring to do it Sunday.
We'll see how it goes down.
That'd be cool.
Yeah, so my paramotoring is kind of, you know,
going on two parallel branches to the next level.
And Sopranos is my entertainment.
That's so interesting because I was was introduced to paramotor i had
no idea what it was through you and your channel i think your vlogs about some of your vlogs uh
that i've watched really fascinating about the whole paramotoring but i was i thought you were
joking at the beginning when you started talking about it on pka like for weeks i thought so did
we yeah i was like this guy is ridiculous he's gonna strap a
fan on his back and he's gonna fly oh my god and then to see you actually do it and that goes
through the training like every other week i catch a vlog uh from you and uh it's been fascinating
so how was the race last week i didn't talk about it yeah we talked about it on pkn and uh yeah it was it was a little mixed
uh there were part the parts of it we had the drive that i hoped we'd fly but overall like the
big thing is it stretched me you know i flew in weather that was probably worse than i've ever
flown before i flew in midday and um you know at the end of it and you fly across the finish line
it was it was like yeah this is it was a really cool thing for me and now i'm like well shit you know i didn't know that i could do that and then
things i would pass up because there's no rush there's no mission now are like in my wheelhouse
like oh i can do this so uh you know good example of sunday i think we're going to fly a little farther and launch a little sooner than I otherwise would.
The
US has launched a missile strike
on a Syrian military airfield
where the gas attack is believed to have
originated. I guess they
fired Tomahawk cruise missiles from a couple of boats.
And
yeah.
Well, that's fucking great.
I'm sure this will lead... I'm sure this won't escalate out of control. And, yeah. Well, that's fucking great. Good.
I'm sure this won't escalate out of control.
Kyle, name five other times it has.
Vietnam.
Vietnam.
Go back three years.
We fucking... Well, Vietnam was a proxy war with the Russians.
And this could be a proxy war with the Russians.
They're all proxy wars with the Russians.
Because of the Russian involvement with Syria,
it's going to be a complex situation.
What's going to happen if there was a Russian advisor
at that fucking plant and we just fucking blew him up?
Let me lay this out there,
and someone tell me if I'm doing it incompletely or incorrectly.
So one of the fears with Syria is...
ISIS is in Syria, and both Russia and America dislike ISIS.
The thing is, America would rather have some, you know, currently smaller unknown player.
I don't know who emerges the victor in this thing.
And Russia would rather have, I think his name is Assad, emerge as the leader.
And he's currently the government leader in Syria.
But the government doesn't control everything
because they're battling with ISIS.
So if the U.S. goes in there
and tries to install some like democratic government
that's new,
then that is against what Russia would like to happen,
which is to take Assad and make his power unquestioned.
And that's how you get a proxy war.
Yeah, and then you've also got,
it's not just ISIS that Russia and us
and the Iranians who are also there
and have in large numbers are fighting.
There's also like a lot of militia groups
who may or may not owe their allegiance
to either ISIS or the United States
or Iran or fucking Pakistan
or who knows where,
who are also fighting for an independent state away from Assad they it's not that they are
Terrorists or their Isis or the this or that they just don't like fucking Bashir al-assad and they want him out
Iran and Russia are the biggest supporter of Assad at the moment. Yeah, I know are the ones that are funding him
Yeah, but yes the biggest supporter of Assad at the moment. Iran are the ones that are funding him.
Do you guys think that Trump could actually deal with such a complex situation?
No.
I mean, it's going to be a shit show.
I believe Trump has a hard time with Thanksgiving.
I don't think Trump understands the situation at all.
What Trump heard was that there were children who got gassed,
and he was like, that's bad.
I don't like that.
If we could bring George Washington
back, or your favorite
president to handle this, they wouldn't be
able to solve it. Like, they
would hopefully look at it and be like,
we're not going to be able to do that.
Well, they would have so
many hurdles to overcome first,
from indoor plumbing to cell phones to touch screens.
What's that Negro doing in the room?
Mr. President, I know wooden teeth were popular then.
Ah, shut up, you whore!
Get this woman out of the office!
It would go terribly!
That's still how Trump does it.
That would go very poorly,
as they misunderstood how many people were watching their speeches.
Where they're like, wow, DC really has grown since I've been here last.
It's like, no, this is just people here right now.
There's more people than you knew existed in this country.
That would make a great movie.
Like a previous president coming into the future and becoming a president right now at the moment.
That would be hilarious.
I worry about Trump in a couple ways.
Such an easy way to do it and make it cool.
You have your current president in some unfathomable, difficult situation, some real tight spot.
However, they're like, sir, we have an interdimensional portal.
And he's like, well, I think we could get Kennedy in here to weigh in on this.
And then they start doing that.
Maybe he starts bringing all the presidents in there.
And then Nixon, he's like, haroo!
Well, I mean, South Park did that a bit last season.
Did you guys watch South Park last season?
Yeah. Yeah, that was great. They did that a bit with last season did you did you guys uh watch south park last season yeah yeah that was
great they did that a bit with uh the whole trump thing and yeah that was funny i'm excited for the
new season oh yeah trump my issue with trump on on matters like this is he doesn't seem to be
like intellectually curious or whatever enough to get schooled on a situation right most presidents whether it be w or clinton or obama or
whatever would come up to speed trump just seems to be like ah you handle that report back to me
so the real question is like hey do you like the way mathis would handle this you know mad dog do
you like the way that you know whoever would handle this and uh because i think trump is likely to just sort of listen to him except
either any conclusion he comes to and go with it and if we look at what he did um maybe we could
figure out where he got the idea to do it he didn't see warplanes right that puts us in danger
al-assad has has anti-air he's got some pretty sophisticated systems that he got from his
russian friends we can't really be just flying planes over and dropping bombs, even our stealth shit
necessary. Two billion dollar airplane.
So they shot these Tomahawk cruise
missiles, which are extremely long range.
If you remember, you know, every other war
we remember fucking fault where we just launched
those bitches off. You know
how Roman candles go?
That's how we shoot those three million dollar Tomahawks.
Thirty million.
He definitely didn't want to risk a U.S. pilot being shot down,
an international incident,
so they went with those long-range missiles.
So that is a good sign.
But the next thing we'll be hearing is advisors on the ground,
and then it'll be money and materiel,
and then some advisors will get hurt
or a school will blow up or somebody some person from some group that we care about more than the
average syrian apparently like a child will be gassed as if it matters if you're gassed or blown
the fuck up or burnt alive which is how they normally get shit done over there speaking of
that gas thing is that was assad or we still don't know who did it? So the U.S.
military is saying that a
Syrian warplane
did that. That's what our military
is saying, our military intelligence. It's Assad.
Assad claims
that there was an Al-Qaeda chemical
weapons plant that was hit by
an American munition, and
it blew up and caused all that damage.
That's a very convenient excuse.
He got greedy with that excuse.
You're right.
He got Al-Qaeda and America with that one.
That was too much.
You know, he should have been like when he was like planning it out, his lie and being like, oh, I'll say that it was an American shell.
Someone he has too many yes men guaranteed because anyone who wasn't a yes man would have been like, you are you high no no nobody's gonna believe that it's that perfect for you like just say that
like one of your soldiers did something crazy like i give a little so that this lie is believable
no i don't know maybe like maybe maybe it was this because what do we have just last week we had a
scenario where apparently a lot of civilians were herded into a building,
and then there was a U.S. strike, and all the people died.
It seemed that someone was trying to frame the United States for some mass murder,
some collateral damage incident.
And here, this week now, we've got a gas attack.
And oh, oh, well, this is kind of like what happened last time.
It was the U.S. They dropped the bomb and hit an al-Qaeda chemical weapons.
My point is, like, we don't know what fucking happened.
We just don't.
We could be being lied to and manipulated,
and it could be a big...
We could all be getting trumped right now.
Maybe there were no chemical...
Maybe we dropped some gas.
Maybe we're getting Gulf of Tonkin'd.
Yeah, maybe we're getting Gulf of Tonkin'd here.
What's the Gulf of Tonkin'd, for people that don't know?
That's the manufactured incident that sparked off the escalation in Vietnam
that happened off the Gulf of Tonkin,
where supposedly that warship was attacked.
But they just weren't.
We just manufactured an incident.
That blows my mind.
It blows my mind that they literally just pretended a U.S. warship was attacked
and started a war over it.
I don't know why, because it's not that much
different than w who like said there were widespread mass weapons of mass destruction
when there was no proof and i know there's no proof because there were no weapons so that you
know that's how that how that goes and uh like there's a lot of big wars where u.s leaders just
totally fake their reasoning it makes you wonder like, that's the one we found out about, you know?
There's so much shit from way back in the day that, like, time has just passed, you know?
Like, it's never going to get uncovered.
Do you remember the princess bride?
It's never going to be revealed.
Like, there's so much stuff like that.
I do, but I don't know.
Yeah, I don't know the connection.
The reason the princess gets kidnapped at the beginning is because Finnick is going to frame another country for her
kidnapping and murder. He is doing a
false flag for Prince Humperdinck.
Here's another example.
We've got
the Gulf War,
Vietnam, and
Princess Pride.
We need two more.
You've got so many movies on your
once a month regimen.
I watch tons of fucking movies.
Marriage!
I don't know.
It makes me nervous.
I'm nervous to have Trump in charge on this.
It could get very complicated,
and it requires a sophisticated person to understand all the players.
He doesn't seem to have any understanding of the Syria situation at all it's a three-dimensional situation he is going to play one-dimensional warfare against it
he'll play checkers bet it you just have to hope that he listens to the more knowledgeable people
around him and not in his gut they say that his attention span is low that he has a hard time
absorbing the the documents that when they brief him before a call,
if you're about to talk to whoever the fuck
from Australia or Japan or whatever,
they say, Mr. President, we've got these documents
here for you. Then there's a guy that's going to
brief you.
If any of us were about to...
Before we started with Ahmed here,
we had a little conversation about Ahmed.
I was like, this is what he's done.
This is where he's been. This is what we'll talk to him about. These are key things that we should hit on.
I wish that he would-
Someone does the Trump for each of these world leaders, but he's just like, eh,
they hit the high points.
I wish that whenever he was doing his press conferences, he would stand like 10 feet back
from the podium like he was a Pokemon trainer and he'd have his entire staff there with him.
And they'd be like, Mr.. President the current economic situation it's
incredibly complex what are you gonna do to get our jobs back up it's gonna be
like I made economics not by my strong suit Rick Perry I choose you
and then Rick Perry has to go out there and defend whoever he would be like military situations
You have no experience with this. What are you gonna do in Syria Rick Perry returned?
General Bathurst I choose you
About their general bath is used baboon get him off my ass
You know and he tells them what to do like that's what he should do. He shouldn't be given any...
He needs to tamp it down
on how he responds to things.
This motherfucker is talking to...
At least Syria at all.
He doesn't...
He's hanging out with the president of China
right now down in Mar-a-Lago.
Is it right now?
Is that happening?
Yeah, right now.
Chinese guy...
Yeah, thank you.
X-I.
I don't know how to pronounce that.
Xi.
Xi.
He landed a couple hours ago. I watched you know step off his plane's big g's got a big fucking plane it says air china on the side
it certainly doesn't say fucking g-pin or anything it doesn't say like president
it's not it's not pimped out like ours are like the president shows up in his fucking plane right
like but especially ours ours might just show up in his fucking yeah right you know
that's that's how it works and it is interesting if you think about it he's brought the president
of china over not to washington not to the white house which is a more prestigious thing right it's
it's it's a level up if you get to go to the white house and you get to fucking go in there and shake
hands do all the ceremonial shit no he took him to mar-a-lago he's like this is where i hang out
it's my place golf to the chinese is is a little it's seen a little differently than it is to us uh western
uh uh uh non-communists shall i say they see it as a billionaire sport they see it as something
that they don't want to be attached to xipin and never played any fucking golf he never has never
will i guarantee it if he got if chinese media had a photo of his ass
chubbly crawling up a hill somewhere like that'd be the end of him he's not getting another five
year term like that would be a funny picture have you seen those pictures of trump chubbly
yeah it's because he uh he gains weight in a hippie way. So coming off all that, do you guys think
Trump will be impeached?
Do you think that's a possibility?
No.
I think it will happen.
So impeachment is just when they start
the proceedings. That's like saying, do you think Trump will be
sued? The real question is, do you think he'll
be sued and found wanting
and be thrown from his office?
And I don't think that is going to
happen impeachment proceedings are much more possible than him actually being thrown from
office but i don't think any of it will happen but yes it is a possibility so what trump has
going in his favor is that republicans would be the person people doing this you know thing yeah
when it seems fair well yeah when clinton got
impeached there were republicans newt gingrich in particular i think was running the show
uh star yeah when yeah he hired genestar and they just pursued him forever that started off
is like a real estate trust thing and it ended up with him getting a blow job like that that did
they just went anywhere they could find shit on Clinton and that's where it landed.
But Republicans aren't going to do that to Trump. You know, like Nunes just recused himself because he was dealing with all these ethics violations where he would take this somewhat private information or whatever and show Trump like privately like, hey, this is where the investigation is going.
You're going gonna say it
came from the white house yeah like that's the weird thing about that right like i'd love for
you to correct me if i'm wrong and i'd like i'd like to learn more about this because it's so
fucking fishy but it seems that the white house taps nunez on the shoulder and says hey come here
let's let me want to show you some stuff and they take him in that skiff, which is apparently a secure room where any kind of surveillance is impossible.
Like, I guess it's just electromagnetically isolated.
And, like, there's no – they can't be spied on.
It's like the – on that show Get Smart, the old black and white show, they used to have, like, the cone of silence or something.
And both people would put their heads in this thing.
And they couldn't hear each other.
Everybody else could hear them. And they couldn't fucking hear each other. They're trying to pass top secret information. But anyway, put their heads in this thing and they couldn't hear each other everybody else could hear and they couldn't hear fucking hear each other they're
trying to pass top secret information but anyway they put him in this skiff they showed him
something right they showed him this information about trump's name being unmasked or some horse
shit and then they send him back with that information and he and he goes oh i have some
information i'm gonna go tell the white house they need to know about this and then he like
fake comes back and tells them about something they just to know about this and then he like fake comes back and
tells them about something they just told him about and now we're trying to decide which other
members of that committee get to see that information and people are being bused in and
out and then the white house says oh yeah he's hearing the same information that nunia has heard
but they're like well how could you possibly know that and they're like uh we just know it's a bunch
it's there's so much smoke there's so much. There's so much smoke. There's so much bullshit. It doesn't make a lot of sense to me.
No, because it's fucked with.
That's not the way I understand it.
It doesn't make sense.
Here's one thing that bugs me, though.
So typically in law, if you ask someone to recuse themselves, they do.
You know, like they've got no stake in this, right?
If Taylor's a judge and I say, hey, look, I think that you know the defendant over there.
You should recuse yourself. Nine times out of ten, he hey, look, I think that you know the defendant over there. You should recuse yourself.
Nine times out of ten, he says, fine, I'm out.
I don't want to give any appearance.
Nunez, they asked him to recuse himself because he was appearing to be on the team of Trump.
It's like he worked for Trump instead of investigating him.
And he just fought for weeks, scratching tooth and nail.
No, I won't stop. I won't stop i won't stop like
like dude what the fuck like everyone thinks you're working for this guy it looks sketchy as
fuck and they're actually they don't always recuse themselves like a lot of the times they don't
they usually don't fight against it if there's anything i mean loretta lynch didn't recuse
herself during the hillary clinton investigation i'm just saying'm just saying that it's common for these people, if
they feel like they had something to
gain by not recusing themselves, they'll try not to.
He's a politician, he's not a judge. That's what you have to keep in mind, too.
He's not a judge, he's a politician. The judge,
of course, would be like, yeah, I'm done.
The politician is like, you don't think I'm capable?
How is this going to look on my record if
next year, when they roll the commercial, he was
taken off the committee to investigate?
Well, no, Loretta Lynch isn't a politician.
She's a judge.
She was the attorney general.
Well, I'm talking about Nunez.
Whatever.
Yeah, maybe that was sketchy too.
I don't know.
But yeah, it was weird to me that Nunez worked so hard not to recuse himself
when there was all this evidence and people were calling for it.
And it wasn't until the lawsuit started rolling in that he was like,
fuck it, I'm out. The whole fucking thing is annoying to me because i feel like half the time they're
just like it's just lip service and lies and misdirection and muddy the waters and oh look
over here here's a thing and and oh well let's investigate all this horse shit that will never
lead us anywhere and it's clear just on face value it won't but it's it's it's real frustrating to
watch the whole thing go down and nobody is making themselves look good right or left no no everybody leader democrats are
leader yeah the democrats filibustering gorsuch i love that move that was why why would you love
that i'll explain because um i feel like the republicans have already proven that they're
willing to do anything to advance their cause or stop your cause from advancing.
Right. I mean, the reason they were able to go nuclear is because of Harry Reid in 2013.
It's the Democrats who did that. Yeah. So back in 2013, if you guys remember the do nothing Congress, et cetera, et cetera.
What was happening is anything Obama like the Republicans disliked,. They could not find any common ground.
And I think it's generally accepted that even things that they should have been able to agree on or find something,
the Republicans were just making it kind of their platform to be anti-Obama.
And so that to me says, all right, these Republicans will do anything.
Scalia died, and I had it wrong before.
He died 11 months. Obama had 11 months left as president, and they just wouldn't even hold a vote,
right? So to me, I'm like, all right, the Republicans have established that they will
use whatever tools they have in their toolbox to advance what they're trying to do. And now
the Democrats... It's not just Republicans, though. It's both sides that will do that
because the Democrats are the ones who put that into place
and allowed them to use this nuclear option.
The Democrats are using the best thing they can right now
in the filibuster.
Both parties are always going to use, to the nth degree,
whatever they can to get what they want.
Let me circle back to that.
Yeah.
Yeah, so in my head,
what all this Democratic filibuster thing does
is force the Republicans to use this tool in the toolbox.
So now it's in play.
Like that to me is what the end game here is that, you know, like, look, we're not going to give you this without using this tool so that if we ever get in charge, then we'll have that tool, too.
You know, we won't be doing the unprecedented thing.
It doesn't make sense why they would do that because they were the ones who implemented that tool.
And so, of course, when you implement a tool, you expect to use it.
And so it seems silly to me that they'd be like, hey, you know this tool we implemented?
Well, we know it's so horrible that we're going to force them to do it by doing this filibuster.
Where it's like, OK, so you actually implemented a tool that you see as super terrible unless it's on your side.
They were using it for lesser things.
Supreme Court nominations is a pretty big deal, right?
Last many, many presidents for, I don't know.
So they're like, hey, they're making the Republicans establish a precedent
where you don't have to have a super majority to get your guy.
You can just barely scrape by.
And in my head, it's a smart move because in either scenario,
if they vote for Gorsuch, if they don't vote for Gorsuch, you're getting Gorsuch. It's not a good move because in either scenario if they vote for gorsuch if they don't vote for gorsuch you're getting gorsuch it's not a good move because now they can't i don't my
understanding is they can't filibuster the next nominee right if need be well basically they
couldn't fill this one either so they kind of spent it on gorsuch i see like a magic card play
where they went aha they played their instant and it and it was an ill-timed instant.
They should have kept that in hand and waited.
Because, I mean, Gorsuch already, what, when he was appointed to the 10th Circuit Court or whatever,
Obama, Hillary, all the Democrats voted to approve him in because he's really not very controversial.
He's just not.
Yeah, the only controversy is the fact that he's not Merrick
Garland so you know that if you're a democrat that's how you see this the only controversy is
this guy's up for grab this guy's up for a vote because the republicans played dirty last time
and they're just saying it's not but that you keep going back to that if the democrats had the run of
it and they had the ability to stop the Republicans from putting in a Supreme Court justice.
That's their responsibility.
They need to use all the tools legally that they have to keep that from happening.
Exactly the opposite way, the Republicans had a responsibility there to be like, all right, we have no obligation to do this, and our constituents would be fucking livid with us if we did.
So no, we're not doing it.
We're representing what our people would want.
So it's not like a, oh, they're just all anti-Bush, or they'reush or they're all anti-trump or all anti-obama and they're just trying to be
obstructive like yeah they are but that's in a way that's kind of their job you know like they
they're not supposed to just bend over backwards and so i guess in that way it makes a little bit
of sense for the filibuster because the democrats need to show at least like hey we're not rolling
over we're at least doing what we can so i understand it from that point of view but it's not like it it's not a malicious like fuck you we're not passing it
it's like uh yeah no that my people would hate me if i did that and i'm protecting my job if that
makes sense see i i feel like there's this oh they're both playing the same game they both do
the same things but it's not like this this do nothing congress became a thing because the
republicans stopped all legislation on a level that didn't happen when Bush was president.
Right. They broke new ground and just opposed. How's it happening now?
I well, I would say that in my head and I try not to look at it, you know, through just Democrat lenses, I flip it around.
through just Democrat lenses.
I flip it around.
But I would say the Democrats are doing everything they could because that's now the precedent.
The Republicans did this, so now the Republicans are doing it.
They're slowing down every cabinet appointment they can.
They're doing exactly what the Republicans did when Obama was in charge.
It never took this long to get Obama's people approved for cabinet positions,
if I remember correctly.
It never took anyone
to get their cabinet choices appealed.
Correct me if I'm wrong.
It doesn't matter. With the nuclear
option thing that they've done, now they can
get all of them through with a simple
majority. Is that correct? I think so.
I think they could anyway. They just had to
decide to use the nuclear option.
I know. I'm just making sure it decide to use the nuclear. I know.
I'm just making sure it applies to all of them.
Now, one thing that I've heard thrown out there is that there's a reason why so many of Trump's selections for these positions haven't been filled.
He doesn't care if they get filled or not, and they haven't put the correct paperwork in on purpose.
Yep.
Yeah, yeah.
Because he's like, they don't need anybody fucking running that agency.
Fuck that agency.
That agency is
nothing but a hole in the ground well you're gonna hire a guy to run the hole in the ground
that costs money nah let's just wait and there's two lenses to view that one is the one that you
put out there which is like that thing is stupid anyway why do i need to appoint i'm making up a
number 1200 people when only 100 of them are doing all the work like just you know fuck it
but other people are saying like, Oh,
this is what happens when you have,
you know,
a,
a non,
I want to say,
you know,
a non Washington person.
Like he just doesn't have the knowledge of how Washington works to fill all
those other jobs.
Like this isn't applying to that.
But as far as all the people I've talked to in government jobs,
every single one of them will tell you that like, I don't know about other
countries, obviously, but they'll tell you 20% of the people in there are doing 100% of the work.
And 80% of the people are futzing around because they know they won't get fired and they can get
away with it. That's almost true in corporate world too though, right? Not necessarily. I'd
say in corporate, it's more like probably almost reverse
like 75 80 and then those 20 who do nothing and add nothing eventually get axed because it's like
hey we were uh we were looking at some numbers and you're a waste of space really saying 75 25
that's already egregious because a company that has 25 of its staff and you know they're working
towards a profit and they're not contributing like that wouldn't be a very long standing company so it'd be very much streamlined in that way but like i
don't know about like on the level of trump i was just talking to friends and they and of course the
friends i talked to i like to believe are the ones doing all the work and they are so fucking pissed
about it where they're just like god i just watch people sit and do nothing all day because they know that they can do it and
they can treat people like shit and get away with it which yeah obviously enrages people who want to
work in the army oh my god like there's lots of good government employees out there i'm sure uh
like so right now he wants to increase army spending and i'm like i didn't realize like
when someone transfers from a place to a place right they're gonna they come home from iraq they like do nothing for two months
you know or when they're about to go somewhere like their responsibilities just wrap up
and nothing happens for two months and when they arrive they spend it i'm just like oh my god like
in the corporate world people do not have like you know if you just hypothetically transferred to
fucking la i don't know like there
wouldn't be a four month no expectations out of taylor period that is because you chose to move
to la for a new opportunity and you've got all your shit lined up instead we're talking about
donald trump saying hey woody get your shit together and go kill some syrians it's go time
you're like fuck can i have two months? He's like, yeah, okay.
In this scenario, I'm saying he's going to headquarters or some other
satellite office or same company.
And yeah.
The military doesn't do that.
They do that all the time.
They constantly move people from base
to base.
Yeah, but without warning and stuff.
All those government agencies
not everyone's at war spend way more than they need to on transportation or goods or whatever
so that they can hit that bottom line to make sure they don't lose any funding the next year
it's like oh guess we better fire off fucking 60 more hellstorm missiles for the fuck of it to make
sure that they know that we need 6,000 of these a week.
I was watching a second ago. I guess they fired around 50, 55 Tomahawks
today. That's what they did.
Seems like a lot.
Like too many, I'd say.
All the same air... I think I said
before, but they hit the airfield apparently
that those chemical attacks originated from.
I just
wonder how many millions of dollars we spent to build
craters right so many probably a depressing amount of it's like 150 million dollar attack
and a lot of it was against dirt i was absolutely at least 150 million dollar attack and and then
you got to keep in mind like we had those boats there for that attack do you even add in the
amount of money that it costs to keep two big fucking boats in the mediterranean with like a thousand sailors on them
ready to push a button to shoot 50 missiles think about it like the missiles the same thing as
bullets almost like what percent of bullets actually hit an enemy like a tenth of a tenth
of a tenth of one percent yeah it's really interesting how that works. It's changed from war to war.
I can't cite any statistics off the top of my head,
but I've looked into it,
and Vietnam was really interesting.
As the war's going on,
and different weaponry is introduced,
the amount of bullets that are required to get a kill,
and they start doing that math,
and they change things like the rate of fire
on rifles and magazine size.
It's really interesting.
It takes a lot. On the bullets thing, yeah, it takes a lot, but a lot of it's rifles and magazine size. It's really interesting. It takes a lot.
On the bullets thing, yeah, it takes a lot.
But a lot of it's just for suppressive fire.
Sure, yeah.
You watch, not that you haven't,
but I've been watching like real-life combat footage and stuff,
and I see, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Like I'm no military strategist, but it's like first we need to get,
they call it something like firing supremacy.
That's not, the supremacy part is right.
The first one's wrong.
And it's kind of like paintball, right?
You're either the guy cowering or the guy shooting, right?
I've done it in paintball.
If you've got eight guys firing ropes,
the other people are pinned behind cardboard barriers
thinking, oh my God, this is a bad situation, right?
And they do that in real war
too like as soon as you as soon as i fire a bullet at some americans 12 of them just start raining
lead on me so that i'm ducking behind rocks and that's why it takes so many bullets you know a
lot of it is just it's not even aimed at a person that's aimed at the area to get you to duck yeah and anyway interesting yeah i've uh
speaking of something that's kind of like an urban legend or a myth i've got i was looking around for
stuff because i was just thinking like i don't know it's one of those stupid little google things
you do where you're like i wonder what a myth is out there that i believe is a myth but it actually
isn't and then like on a different tab be like i wonder what a myth is that there that I believe is a myth but it actually isn't. And then on a different tab be like, I wonder what a myth
is that I don't believe
is actually true.
I'm trying to find something there.
I'm going to say a couple
and I want you to tell me
if this is a real
fact, a true fact
or propaganda.
Alright.
Sex before
competing in sports
makes you worse.
That's a myth. Backwards.
It's a myth. Kyle,
you're pretty confident about that. That's a myth.
That's bullshit. It raises your testosterone
level, I'm told. Is it? That's why
Ronda Rousey fucks before every fight.
You're correct,
Woody. It raises your testosterone and it gets you hyped.
Ovechkin says part of his game performance,
can't tell if he's joking because he's Russian,
hard to read that cadence,
but he says he fucks before and after every game.
His poor teammates.
I was trying to, I wanted to make a joke,
I couldn't form it.
Oh, looks like somebody didn't play too well today I was like that guy's ass must be sore
No that's not working
How about this one
Satan is the ruler of hell
According to Christianity
Is that true or is that
Is that a myth or is that
Okay so I think
It's true but using psychology Don't you google Kyle I was going I think it's true, but using psychology, I think it's going to be false.
I was going to look up something completely different, but I was about to Google it.
It had nothing to do with this, but you triggered something in my head about a different religion that believes that God is the true deceiver.
Graham Hancock turned me on to that.
I want to go to that in a second.
Satanism?
As far as I know, no, Satan works for God. He did, right?
Lucifer was one of God's angels. He was jealous that God was a loving man more than the angels,
and he rebelled against God, and he was overthrown and sent down to hell, etc., etc.
I don't know that he's the ruler of hell because of what I just said. He was thrown into hell, right?
Although everything, like, pop culture-wise and everything I've ever been taught says,
you know, the guy with the viper-gated tail and the pitchfork down there,
he's the one running the show.
So I'm just going to say that the devil runs hell, though by its very nature,
it seems like God runs hell.
I'm going to say that the devil doesn't run hell because I'm just getting that vibe.
Ahmed, does the devil run hell? It's funny because in Islam it's kind of similar to Christianity as far as hell and heaven and the devil and all that shit. The
first part of the Quran, the first part of the Bible are pretty much the same thing. They're all
Abrahamic religions? Yeah, they are similar. There are Abrahamic religions and ideologies, a lot of them are similar. But in Islam, what we have learned is that, no, he doesn't run hell.
And so, yeah, I don't know.
Maybe I guess I'll go with that.
He doesn't.
So you're correct, Ahmed.
And I guess all of you are correct.
He does not run hell.
He was sent to hell.
And it's just always assumed that, I guess, because he was the first guy to show up in hell,
that he kind of established a base, I guess.
And then as more people showed up, he just did like the pretend authority figure where it's like, ah, you believe I'm in charge, so I am.
And then send people around.
But yeah, he's not actually in charge of hell.
Real quick, not to change the subject.
Have you guys seen The Invention of Lying?
It's a movie from Ricky Gervais. Yeah, saw that oh right when it came out a long time ago yeah that
movie is hilarious basically people maybe I shouldn't spoil it but that this
movie it takes place in a place where no one can lies so everyone tells it tells
the truth hundred percent of the time So this guy somehow imagines or starts lying, discovers lying.
So he goes to the bank and he's short on money and he's like, the cashier woman is like,
well, sir, our systems are down.
How much money do you have on your bank account?
And he's like, he wants to say $300, but he needs $800.
So he's like, wait, I can say $800. And he says $800. So he's like, wait, I can say 800.
And he says, $800.
And then she just gives him $800.
So a few scenes later in the movie,
he basically founds every religion on Earth,
and he says, there's a man in the sky,
and he does that, and he says that.
And if you do three wrong things,
you go to a place that is not very nice, a pleasant cold hell. And if you do three wrong things, you go to a place that is not very nice, a pleasant
cold hell. And if you don't do
that, you go to a place where you get a mansion
and everyone gets a mansion.
That movie's hilarious.
I watched it a couple of weeks ago.
It's pretty funny.
That religion I was thinking of...
Oh, go ahead. I'll jump in.
Quickly, though, the religion I was thinking of,
Graham Hancock was talking about this in one of his, whatever you call it when you i was thinking of a graham hancock was it was
talking about this and one of his uh whatever you call it when you stand in front of a bunch of
people with a fucking powerpoint and talk tell him stuff it wasn't a ted talk it was somewhere
else at a university or something but but he was he was talking about this religion um that it
believed that uh the christian god was not a god that he was actually a demon who had come to earth to deceive humanity
into believing that he was a God. That was his game. He likes to go places and make people or
entities believe he's a God and then have them worship him. And so what they explain, they talk
about the Garden of Eden, and in this religion, they see the serpent as the good guy. He's coming into where humanity's imprisoned and saying, you've been fooled.
You don't even know the difference between right and wrong.
You're just here to worship that guy.
That's all he's doing.
He's just sapping your worship juice up, and that's all he cares about, right?
Eat the apple, and you'll have knowledge, and you'll be freed from this evil, deceptive demon.
And so they did, and God throws them out.
And remember what God did after that happened.
He's like, oh, Eve, now not only you will be in pain the rest of your days, all women.
And you'll be confused when you're thrown out of here,
and you'll have to suffer the serpents and the beasts of the land.
He just went to cursing us left and right when we ate this apple of knowledge, so we'd
know the difference between right and wrong.
Then look at what he does, and I'm parroting what Graham says in his lecture.
He burns us when we're bad.
He forces us to worship him, praise him constantly.
Are these the actions of a generous, kind, omnipotent, omniscient being?
No.
They're the actions of a fucking intergalactic demon
who's fucking taking up our worship juice.
Satan's the good guy.
That is...
Strong point.
That is pants on head retarded.
And the Christians burned these people alive
and persecuted them throughout the ages
and they went underground and they are no more.
I feel like both sides of this viewpoint
are pants on head retarded.
I'm saying that being like, oh, dude, Star Trek, that's not real.
The real Star Trek story, they were in a Ford Windstar driving across the country.
They weren't even in the theater.
And it's just like, no, that's not.
You're just taking a fantasy story and making it into a slightly different fantasy story.
Because clearly that guy,
Graham Hancock doesn't buy into any of it.
And so he's just treating it like a fanfic thing where he's like,
this could be real too.
You know,
Graham Hancock believes that our,
um,
our soul or our, um,
our being like the part he,
he doesn't think it's,
it's,
it's our brain.
He thinks that our brain is like a television set that is receiving the signal
that is our soul. That's what
this physical part of us is.
We just passed into a new
field. And when the body is gone,
that your soul or your
intelligence goes on living
afterwards.
And he's a scientist?
Yeah, sure.
I would believe there are lots of scientists
who are religious but very few science i don't know like that's just he's not religious he doesn't
preach that religion i just like was talking about no no i know i was saying there are scientists who
are religious so when they're like oh i'm a christian and i'm a physicist or i'm you know
whatever and i'm a scientist like all right yeah i understand like there's a cultural thing to that
but for a scientist who's really
into science to be like, I don't believe the brain
is responsible for all this.
It's like, yeah, we'll look into
do three minutes of googling
and you'll be like, oh, yeah.
See, they used to think it was the heart and then they very
quickly found out it's the brain as soon as we had the capacity
to analyze the brain.
A scientist that believes that Earth is
3,000 years old.
We turn our brain off, turn it back on, and we're still here.
That's even more ridiculous.
We don't turn our brain off and turn it back on.
What do you mean?
Can you define...
Like a near-death experience, your brain stops,
your flatline, no electrical impulses in your brain,
then they just turn you right back on,
and, oh, I'm here again, and it's me.
It's still me.
I don't know what consciousness is.
I don't think anybody does, and I don't think science has figured it out quite yet either. That's kind of like the biggest question of them all, right, is like, what is consciousness? Like, are we either a product of this, like, fleshy goo between our ears, or are we something a little bit more important than that it's interesting that a guy like him who seems to make fun of religion for taking a naturalistic event and imposing a super complex unknowable being as the
catalyst for it and then saying oh and the brain that's not responsible for all of our thoughts
feelings emotions and actions it's actually this infinitely complex and undefinable ethos in our body that is
responsible for that you know it's like the same thing that same paradigm of your explaining natural
cause a natural system with an unexplainable unknowable entity because it's confusing you
know it's it's kind of the same structure i don't know enough about the brain and how it works i
don't know that we've we've definitely settled on that the
brain is what creates our consciousness i i just don't know that i don't know what i don't think
anybody does or or that or that are i don't know their consciousness it definitely turned off your
consciousness like the fact that when your brain shuts off you see it facilitates it but does it
create it it facilitates it but does it create it that's the question yes it does
create it because there is a uh there is a video i linked to us like in our pka chat a little a
couple days ago uh prosco it's some disorder where you're no longer able to control your body
you don't have without looking at it so basically this guy has sensations on his
body where like if you like slapped his
hand, he'd be like, oh, I felt that.
But if you told him to close his eyes
and then put his hand
to his right like that,
he wouldn't be able to put it in the space that
he wanted because as soon as his eyes are closed, he no longer
he can't feel the
locomotion. Is it proprioception or something?
Proprioception. That's exactly what it is. So he just doesn't feel the locomotion proprioception or something proprioception that's exactly what it
is and it's so he just doesn't feel the locomotion ability and so it's just he has to look at
everything he does to make sure that it's actually going so it's all relayed back to the brain the
brain's the only thing that allows those that information to be perceived so as soon as now
you're talking about motor mechanics and no no but it's not just that as soon as that area of
the brain was damaged he lost the ability to perceive information in that way and to respond to information that he would have been perceiving.
And so it's like –
About his body.
Because of his brain.
Yeah, because the brain controls the body. I'm not talking about command and control. I'm not talking about what's required for one thing to exist. I'm talking about –
for one thing to exist i'm talking about i i'm saying that that i'm saying that they could be both things could be true at the same time i know the brain is what allows us and when i say us i
mean my consciousness to control everything else and if you fuck with my brain then i just can't
do that shit right but what i'm saying is that what makes me me might not be all about the gray stuff between my ears. Things like love and hurt and emotion.
No, that's your brain.
I'm talking about me.
What makes me me.
The me that is me.
That's all your brain.
Yeah, that's the brain.
Have you guys heard about the Italian doctor that is trying to put a head,
decapitate the head from a person and put it on another body?
Have you heard about it?
He's getting a full body transplant.
He already has a full body.
Actually, it's a head transplant because he's going to transfer a head to another body.
Yeah, but he doesn't become the life of the guy whose body he's taken.
He doesn't come out of the surgery like, I'm Jeff now.
No one knows.
No one knows.
We'll see what happens. taken he doesn't like come out of the surgery like i'm well no one knows no one knows well we know that we talked about this on the show a while ago in that there were some people who felt
like like whatever makes me me the thing kyle is talking about existed in the heart which today
sounds crazy right today everyone's looking at your brain but not long before i was born some
people thought your soul was in your heart. It wasn't just a pump.
If someone actually does pull off
a brain transplant,
we'll all look back
on it and say we already knew.
Oh yeah, we already knew it was in the brain.
But it'll be fun to
observe it. It's a head transplant.
Just to be clear, because the audience is
listening and maybe they're not.
This man is living right now and his body is fucked.
They have a new body over there.
So they're going to chop his head off and they're going to put it on that new body.
And he, being the head, is going to control that new body.
The guy who used to own that new body, his head is somewhere else right now.
Okay.
And it's rotting in the ground.
And whatever made him him is either A, also rotting in the ground, and whatever made him him is either A, also
rotting in the ground in his brain, or B,
is being projected onto some other TV
screen somewhere else. Both guys are still alive right now.
Both guys are alive, yes.
You know what I'm saying, though? When they cut
his fucking head off, he won't be,
because he'll be dead.
One guy's head is
getting burned.
The other guy's head is getting burned.
You think they'll give him the old
shit body so they can still feel the cat skin?
Otherwise,
six guys are just going to be like,
he didn't weigh anything in the end there.
There'll be two bolts coming out of the side.
If that works,
it's pretty crazy.
I heard scientists talk about the possibility that
his consciousness could be in some sort of weird limbo inside of his own brain, unable to touch or feel or sense anything, but only to be conscious in a void inside of that body and they talked about how torturously and and that would be to one's mind your
consciousness to just exist without any way to uh to express yourself i don't understand how we are
remotely close to the head transplant and here's why honestly we're not i so right right here in
my arm where people this is a scar my arm there's uh my older nerve was damaged there was a tumor in it they
pulled the tumor out and then i lost some big percentage of the nerve and it's why this hand
doesn't work that well they can't fucking connect the nerve that's here to the nerve that's here
like that's not a broken and it's not just broken it was destroyed by the cancer it wasn't cancer
it was a surgical thing when they cut i think it was a pack of blood or something,
but when they cut the tumor out because it was getting bigger,
they also cut the nerves that it was growing inside of.
So there were just scalpel damage in there.
And over time, some of the nerves found each other,
and it went from, like, totally paralyzed to I'll make up a number, like 30%.
But that's where it is.
This guy has no damage.
But there'll be damage when they cut his head off.
Well, they're not going to just lop it off with an ax.
They're going to very carefully dissect it from his body,
removing all these necessary plug-ins carefully
and making sure that we don't fray any of the wiring.
And they're going to try to plug him back into this new
guy's spinal cord.
I'm outside my expertise, but my idea is they're
like... Wiring harness back there.
Yeah, with a trillion wires
in it and that they can't reconnect
nerves and
that's where I thought we were.
I think this is the first time.
It just depends on how
they were separated or damaged. That they will face, the biggest. I think they can do it. It just depends on how they were separated or damaged.
That they will face the biggest challenge, I think, is going to be,
because I read in an article that the operation will take 36 hours or something.
That's a long time to be dead.
36 hours.
And how the hell are you going to keep a head alive?
Yeah, and how are you going to keep life?
It's going to be on a transfusion machine.
It's really cool
yes so they did the soviets did this shit with a fucking german shepherd's head anybody ever seen
the video of the german watched it in a neuroscience class chopped this german shepherd's
head off and they fucking pump oxygenated blood in it in one side of its brain and out the other
like like using a circulatory system that's there and they're just pumping oxygen and the dog's head is just there like fuck fuck wow yeah it's just a head like what's probably going to end up happening with
this because the first time we're trying it is the guy who gets his head cut off will die during
the surgery like i if i had to bet on it i'd put put all my money on the guy dying in surgery and he never wakes up.
And if he does somehow wake up, he won't be able to control anything.
This is one of those forge-ahead surgeries, kind of like when Carson did the separating two Siamese twins at the brain.
It's going to be like a breakthrough surgery where they learn a ton of shit but this
one's not going to pan out with heart surgery no way it went like that too like people like oh they
did a successful heart surgery he lived three days and then some guy broke a record and lived like
14 days and then like there was an artificial heart that lasted for a year and isn't that crazy
and now like they they haven't you, they have it the other way.
It's pretty routine almost.
Yeah.
Yeah, I didn't want to overstep because I don't know.
It sounds like you might.
But now they can put in new hearts and it turns out okay.
It's really just the supply of hearts that's the problem.
Yeah, get a pig heart.
I got a pig heart.
What do you tell them when they ask you about your pig heart?
I tell them it's because I'm sweet as bacon sugar. Heart when I ask you about your pig heart South Park. Yeah. Did you guys see the video I put in the chats? This is a game we finish Taylor's thing
Like he had a whole. Oh, yeah
Urban legend thing. There's a couple here. So
Iron Maiden's do you ones. Iron Maidens.
Do you know what an Iron Maiden is?
Yes, I do.
Saddam Hussein's son had one
and he fucking used it on people.
An Iron Maiden, what it is,
it's a picture of a big sarcophagus
that a mummy would be in
except it opens and it's full of spikes.
You would put someone in it
and it's made of iron. Iron you would put someone in it, and it's made of iron, iron made,
and close it, and it would pierce them, usually in non-vital areas,
and they'd just be forced to stand up, kind of pinned there.
And it was a torture method.
Like a really shitty magician.
Yes, like a very shitty magician.
And they had an eye slit cut so they could see if you were still alive in there.
Because eventually, of course, you'd bleed out if you're just punctured all day.
So that was an ancient torture method.
Or was it?
It was.
It absolutely was.
Because like I just said, Saddam Hussein had one, like a legitimate one.
It's not like he went and made one.
He's like, give me one of those good ones the French used to use.
And he fucking put people in it.
I'm going to agree with Kyle because he
seems to know what he's talking about.
No, I've heard about that
before. So I'm saying, like,
son, you're talking about Hussain, right?
Hussain and Uday.
Yeah, Hussain was one of the
most brutal guys ever in the history of
Iraq. Like, he invented torture
methods. Yeah, I remember in the 80s
there was a story about Iraqi football team losing a very important team yeah and he put the
entire team in jail and he cut off their legs and tortured the entire football
team of Iraq in the 80s he was pretty ridiculous that's not a good way to
practice for the next game they won the four World Cups in a row!
But the next team will know that
if they lose,
they know what they will lose.
Well, you guys are all wrong.
The Iron Maiden was never
an ancient torture device.
It was actually made at first
in the 18th century for circuses
as a sensationalist.
This is what they used to do back in the old days throw you right in
the Iron Maiden close it up how'd you happy
to live here like however they talk
like that's what they did and then it's
in modern days I guess that
the
Hussein boys were so inspired that they made their
own but it was not an actual
torture method from the past
from ancient times
paper town no this is cool. And somehow it seems
similar to an Iron Maiden to me. So back in the day, maps were
harder to make than they are now. And to stop people from just copying
your map and saying, hey, I made a map too. It's just like
Taylor's, but I didn't copy, I swear. They would put fake
towns in place. It was called a paper town. So, you know, i i didn't copy i swear they would put fake towns in place it was called a paper town
so you know taylorsville might not even be a real place but if i copied it onto my map
i know i copied from taylor like they'd get one wrong and uh but what happened is people would
go there enough that like someone might put a store someone might do a thing and paper towns
can become real towns because of that and
In an iron maiden became a real torture device because of a fake thing
Yep, so because of those circus folk a lot of people got tortured in Iraq in the 21st century
They were like a torture day essentially. They were they just made a little more creative
Yeah, this one find a way
more creative yeah um this one find a way uh so everybody knows about touching baby birds and how you're not supposed to touch them or their mom will will not take them disown the baby bird
right is that a is that a real thing or is that is that a urban legend so i'm gonna say that that's
that's not true based on the fact that we had a bird nest under our porch and the baby bird
fell out and i put the baby bird back in and it was raised to maturity and flew away.
I'm going to say it's not true because I think I've heard this one dispelled before.
Chickens are birds, right? In the same category as you're describing, right?
No, they're not birds.
Well, in the same category, right?
They are birds come on but we had chickens and uh we always used to play with
baby chicks but uh their parents wouldn't be angry or anything so i don't think that's true
all right well y'all got that one right uh could any of you explain to me what a vomitorium was
and it's an ancient roman word yeah i, I think. Yeah, it's either like they were going to.
Vomitorium.
God, I know this.
I think the myth is that people would eat,
gorge themselves, vomit, and then eat more.
And I went to a vomitorium when we went to.
Shit, it was a.
I think it was a town that got burnt down
by like a volcano that wasn't Pompeii.
It was like another one.
Maybe?
I forget. Anyway, so
and in this case,
they said it was the home of a wealthy person
based on what it was and it was just a little
corner, like
not plumbing or anything, but like kind of a hole.
The whole floor was stone
and this spot wasn't,
and they would just kind of vomit in that spot
and then get back to eating.
So how close did I come?
I immediately thought that as well.
I knew that it was either one of two things,
because I know the Romans,
that word is not the word for the fetish
for liking to get vomited on,
although I think that another
phrase for that is a Roman
shower or something like that.
That's what they call it when one person pukes on you.
I think the Romans were into that. Vomiting on each
other is a sexualized thing.
But I'm going to go with this one.
Okay.
Well, you are
both wrong about what a vomitorium is.
It actually has nothing to do with vomiting at all.
A vomitorium is an entrance to a coliseum or an amphitheater of sorts
because it looked like it was, quote,
vomiting people back out onto the street after events ended.
And so it was called the vomitorium.
It was just the entranceway or the exitway from the Coliseum.
So it has nothing to do with vomit.
There you go.
The more you know.
Indeed.
Edit that in.
The star.
With a little bill who wants to be a law sitting there.
Donald Trump needs to watch that shit.
Which, oh,
how the bill becomes law.
Yeah, that'd be funny if they, like, come into his office
and he pauses that.
He signed a law. He did a real thing.
Now ISPs can
sell your personal data to advertisers.
Huzzah!
I really thought there was a chance that he wouldn't
sign that.
I've got a good one for everyone
but for one person in particular is going to know
martyrs and 72
virgins
you get 72 virgins
Garen fucking teed in the bank
no
it's not 72 virgins that's a mistranslation
it's 72 raisinsgins. That's a mistranslation. It's 72 raisins.
Raisins?
Yes.
Google it.
I have my own theory.
So the 19 terrorists
take down the Twin Towers
and the Pentagon and whatnot.
And they go up there
and there's Patrick Henry
with a baseball bat ready to kick some ass
and George Washington and they all just start beating on the terrorists and they're like what
the fuck is going on here and they said no it's 72 virginians virginians well i'm sure
ahmed actually knows the answer well i do actually know the answer the answer is that there's a verse
in the quran that was telling a story about people who defended their home. They did jihad, which is the literal definition of the word jihad is doing an action in defense of your belief or your home or your family or your land. That's jihad, not blowing up yourself. Well, that also could in some context and someone would argue that it also
is jihad. But there's a verse in the Quran that says those people that did that got 72 virgins.
So basically, yeah, the idea is true. You do get 72 virgins if you do jihad. But it's always taken
out of context from that story it always uh they think
that it's applied to anyone that does it but in the quran it doesn't say it just says that that
happened and god gave them 72 versions yeah it says on this uh on this very i'm sure reputable
list that it is a matter of debate in islam nowhere in the Quran, but is reported in other texts.
So, you know what?
That wasn't fair of them to put on here
because they just said, I don't know.
This is the last one on the list
and they were getting desperate.
It has been mentioned in the Quran,
but not in the context that people believe it to be.
So, it's kind of always taken out of context.
Makes sense. I'm sorry'm sorry guy what were you
saying i just sent those three links from cnn oh raisins are virgins i remember hearing something
about that and i was like there's no way that a bunch of people just have continued to misread
raisins for this long i've heard it too i don't pretend to know what's true but i will say that 72 raisins isn't really that motivating to me um if it's the
year if it's the year one and i have 72 fucking raisins you're gonna be like what
where did you get them all
i don't think so could i smell your hand the hand you touched the raisins with? You got 72 fucking
raisins back then. And they're like, look,
if you martyr yourself,
your wife is getting all of this.
All of these raisins. That's a mid-afternoon
snack. I just feel like
even year one version of me is
worth more than 72 raisins.
I hope I bring in a dead
raccoon every once in a while.
You know, roadkill. I want to trade it in
for a different meal.
You know, be like, raisins are great.
Can I exchange those?
Do you do exchanges here?
No substitutions.
Have it your way, you know?
Was that the last one, Taylor, or are there more?
I'm eating raisins now.
Nice. Well, this must be heaven. Oh, you have raisins. I do have eating raisins now nice well this must be heaven oh you have raisins i do have 72 raisins
um do you how long do you have to wait to file a missing persons report
ah they said hours i yeah i think there's i always hear like 72 hours in the movies and
stuff but you probably do it right away right i thought it was 24 but i'm gonna guess immediately yes it's immediately yeah see because like a lot of the problems with these questions is that you're
like you know but like if jackie is just gone what he's like jackie didn't fucking just go
anywhere she's been taken like we need to put this report in now like it just wouldn't work
like that makes so much sense because like it's one of those things that you don't think about at all when it's said in like a show or a movie
where it's like oh i'm sorry we can't carry that out we're so busy with paperwork and cop stuff
you gotta wait three days for you to report it but like if someone like imagine yourself in that
situation of telling a cop like my son's been taken when was this i don't know this afternoon call me on thursday
you would be like are you fucking kidding me no absolutely not and so it's like the first time
this question's really asked of you you're like oh duh of course yeah like the cop can't just say
no fuck you come back in a couple days like yeah of course i do believe that police may take it
more seriously like depending on the story right like
hey i came home from school my wife wasn't there like yeah well sometimes that happens right you
know like i think if you say that they're gonna take you very seriously as a suspect you're like
uh my wife hasn't been here since tuesday when you fucking say something sooner well
in the movies they always say send me two hours and I you know I was worse though well that's all of the good ones that I got
all the rest I'm realizing are like
I'll ask it and I can only ask it
in a way that is
that gives away the answer
because I'd have to be like how many wise men
were there
and then you guys would be like well you want me to say
three but that's clearly wrong
so not three i'll be like oh well you're right again you geniuses like all right all right so
so i i don't know why i'm wired this way but i can't let go of old topics
taylor and ahmed did not tell us what they were fixated on oh i actually uh i'm eddie go first
well i'm sorry i was what are you currently fixated on?
Oh, that. Yeah, yeah.
That topic. I actually can show you.
He has visual aids.
Indeed, I do.
This is a book that I've been reading
lately. Time of Content.
Tell me more about this book.
Is it a fiction book?
A non-fiction book?
It's a fantasy book.
It's a fantasy book that It's a fantasy book that
Witcher games are based upon.
The Witcher series.
Fantastic writing. Really great story.
So I read the Game of Thrones
books about five years ago
or something. And since then
I've been crazy about sci-fi and fantasy.
So I've read Dune. I've read
a lot of other sci-fi. Dune is great. Are you excited? You know they're making Dune again, right? I know. I know I've read Dune I've read a lot of other sci-fi Dune is
great are you excited you know they're you know they're making Dune again I
know I know they're making Dune again that's gonna be great so yeah and then
now I'm waiting for the winds of winter so I'm in the middle of reading time of
contempt there are two more books in that series that I will be reading I
bought all the books in the series so that you ask me if Ger Martin will die before Winds of Winter
came out, I
honestly feel like it's 50-50.
Yeah.
Has anybody else watched
Dune? I want to talk about Dune now.
Have you read or watched Dune?
Arrakis, Desert Planet.
We've gotten all the crazy.
It's so good.
I hated it as a kid.
I hated it. It's like the year 25 or 30,000 or something,
and we've mastered this intergalactic travel using this spice melange
that only exists on this one planet called Arrakis.
And the whole intergalactic government has put this one family,
it's very Game of Thrones-esque,
that it's a family in charge of that planet
to make sure that the
spice production continues.
It is the only fuel
that allows them to bend space
and go anywhere they want in the galaxy.
It's hyper important. And then Sting
shows up.
Literally, the musician Sting
plays this character, and he's from
this planet where
their family is all like it's all polluted and shit and like it's really fucking good the movie
suffers from a lot of pitfalls but the story the movie was bad and super young woody wasn't able
to get it all and they made me read the book in like fifth grade or something and it must be on
like a high school reading level or something because i'm like i don't know i'm just fucking baffled by this whole thing
i looked at every word i can't say i really read it and uh that's my dune background so kyle you've
you've read the books it's not only they're crazy long and there's yeah no but there's only one uh
or two officials official ones the rest are kind of like compiled fan fiction.
Have you read the books on it?
I've not read all of them, but only the original two.
So only the original, where is it?
So does the first book, does that...
All I want to know about is Paul Akrates and his story.
Can I get that from that book?
Wait a second, I'm drawing a blank.
He's the main character. He's the guy who fucking survives the
invasion on Arrakis and then he goes out in the desert.
The prince. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's in the first book.
Then I'm going to read it. I would read it. That's a very interesting book. It's really well written
actually as well. I'm excited because I like the old shitty movie
because the story is so fucking good,
that I can abide its shittiness.
And it's not complete shit.
Patrick Stewart's in there.
There's a few interesting things,
like the way they do battle in this future.
It's not really laser guns anymore
because at some point they created an energy shield,
a personal energy shield that we can all wear.
And so basically you're walking around with a belt on that puts a force field around you and if any projectile
tries to enter that force field any faster than like you know you could toss a baseball maybe
it's blocked so so the only way to do combat with someone wearing one of these is a fucking knife
fight where you get them in like a jujitsu hold and then slowly bring the knife in through their shield
and fucking kill them with the knife.
Yeah.
It's cool.
I didn't want to say this,
but I really, really disliked the movie
when I watched it three years ago
after I read the book.
So it's good you've already seen the movie,
you like it a little bit,
and now you're going to read the book.
It's going to be good for you.
You're going to like it.
Yeah, I'm excited about the new movie too and i feel like it's just such a gigantic like huge so much there to work with it's like i feel like i feel like a game of thrones
fan who knew a little bit about that world felt when they heard that hbo was gonna do this
um so yeah i'll have to look into that because I can ignore a lot of shit writing and such,
or I guess like shit scenes in a movie,
if it has a good enough fantasy world
that I can kind of immerse myself in.
I like that a lot.
It's sort of a next level of human evolution
that they're talking about,
that comes about,
and there's a lot going on in this world.
There's everything from like,
I guess that thing is an
alien that giant fucking slug that they roll into the room in that tank or whatever that you know
like there's lots of stuff going on in that movie uh i would suggest it even though it's
the same reason i suggest lincoln i suggest lincoln because it's probably one of the best
movies i've ever fucking made um you know one of the best movies I've fucking made. The New Link, who is killing
it, but I recommend Dune
because it's just a fun ride and it's such a
cool story.
What are you fixated on?
It wasn't even a big...
When we brought up the fixation
topic, I was like, if this misses me,
nothing will be lost because
what I'm fixated on is hockey
because the playoffs are coming up and I always follow intensely everything about hockey
as the playoffs go through and magic the gathering because I'm fucking loving
magic.
I played with a bunch of friends last night and I'm introducing lots of new
like friends that hadn't played it before to it that didn't even know I
played.
And so that's a lot of fun.
I'm,
I'm so fucking loving magic right now.
Magic is great,
man.
I wish I could play with you, man. Magic is so great.
Play online? It's so much fun.
Yeah, possible.
Don't play Jizz. He's got
the Tron deck.
Ahmed, you play...
You obviously play Magic, Ahmed.
Isn't there just something about the physical cards
that buying one online
you would be like,
I don't want to buy a good deck online because I can't hold it.
I've never played the online version because every card costs almost real money,
almost as the real version of the cards.
So I played the new version, Magic Origin, I think.
Oh, on Xbox.
Yeah, I played it on Steam and on my tablet.
is on everything yeah yeah no i played it on steam but uh and on my tablet so that that was okay i guess because you play for you pay for boosters and you get a lot of cards and stuff but to be
honest as you say like having the physical cards and laying them there on the table it's it's such
a great game sharing it with people like i like when people come over and they're interested in
it being able to like show a collection and show just get them more into it, because they'll
have their little shitty starter deck and be like,
oh, just last night I was doing this with friends.
I was looking through it. My rare
binder, I was just
letting them look through and pick some shit
and put it in their deck. It's fun to share.
Let's show off. What's your
most expensive card?
Oh, this is...
People always comment,
oh, Taylor does a good job of making sure
that the audience that's listening
gets a little bit of what's being
watched. Not right now.
Not right now.
Okay, let me find two. I've got Progenitus.
He's one of my favorite
cards. And Emrakul,
the Eon's Torn.
Which one is this? Oh, yes. this is this is a $60 card 65 I probably did just plays that in his Tron deck it
comes out regularly dude I don't put this in worry does he have you remember
this one yeah yeah You remember this one?
Yeah, I remember that one.
Gideon, do you know how many times I pulled this?
How many Gideons do you have?
I have only two now,
but I sold two of them.
I pulled four in a month.
That's crazy.
Everyone started jumping around.
I pulled three from a booster bag
and one from another.
Oh yeah, I love that card.
My prediction is the hollow foil promo kind, so it's like $60.
Yeah.
It's game text says protection from everything.
That's the game text.
And so people are like, aha, I can circumvent that and go around this.
It's like, ah, that falls out of the category of everything.
I mean, that card is really hard to set up. I've seen it
played against me, but it's so hard
to set it up in a perfect situation where
you're not low on life and you're not being
hit around by
artifacts and all that kind of shit.
So it has been played against me
two times and I've won both times.
All you do
to get it out is you play
a cheap artifact like Ornithopter, zero cost, or you get something to create a creature token.
You have a whole deck.
I had a deck like this until it was lost in a fucking flood.
The only creature in the whole deck was Progenitus, and it was just that and a bunch of red and blue instance and the whole strategy was to get a know nothing like uh
artifact creature token on the field and then sacrifice it with polymorph which allowed me to
reveal cards from the top of my draw deck and put into play whatever the first creature i revealed
was and it was always this guy and this guy is protecting from everything and he has 10 attack
so it means uh you have two turns to win the game, otherwise you're going to lose.
People don't know this about me. I played Magic for 19 years, never lost my
virginity card.
That's a good joke.
That wasn't even Magic.
Enough Magic talk.
I love Magic so much.
That joke went better than I thought. I was like, read the room, Woody.
Read the room. It's not going to work.
Kyle's really killing it on Magic the Gathering online, though.
Really?
I'm having a lot of fun.
Lately, I've been playing a mana-ramped deck that's mono-green,
and the whole goal is to get Genesis Wave out for as much as I can.
So I'm playing those auras that make each of my lands worth multiples, and then I'm
playing Arbor Elf to untap
and re-tap them.
Cards are about half
price online, and you can buy singles, which is
what I've done. So I'll
cast a Genesis wave for like
X is 17 or
X is 20 on like turn
5, and then you just
fill the board with cards.
It's really fun.
But Chiz is just a real cocksucker to play against.
That's such a fun strategy to play.
Chiz doesn't like it when you say that.
What's funny is Kyle would be like,
Chiz plays a Tron deck, and he's the scum of the earth about it or something.
And then I don't know anything.
I'm just eating it up. Oh, yeah, I guess that's what scum of the earth about it or something. And then, I don't know anything. I'm just eating it up.
Oh, yeah, I guess that's what scum does.
And then Chiz will reply
with these well-written counter-arguments on Skype.
And I'm like, well, I guess Chiz is right.
He's just playing the game.
Nothing Chiz has done is unfair
or anything like that.
But what he has done is...
He's been a real shithead,
and he's made a deck that you wouldn't make
when you're playing against a friend.
You kind of made a deck that you'd play against an enemy.
It's just a real cunt deck.
It seems like he's doing something that is annoying.
Can you explain this in an unbiased way to a non-magic player?
So basically what it is is Chiz is deck teching way too much,
and that's annoying Kyle because Kyle is making a deck,
from what I understand, that is going to be a good all-around deck.
I could put it into any situation.
My green mana ramp you said you're just playing,
and it'll be competitive.
I don't want it to be so
selective. I've got like a legit tier 2 burn deck
that's... Yeah, you've got, I was just using that one as
an example. But the burn one, you don't make
it to beat a specific deck, you build
it to be competitive. What Chiz, I
assume, is doing, is what it's also annoying to
do in real life, is when you play someone
and they tech their deck, which
means make changes of cards that are
specifically against your deck.
So it's not two people playing competitive decks
that are meant to be played against anything.
It's someone took their competitive deck,
took out all the cards like,
oh, this is what I would usually run in here,
but hey, against his deck,
I'm not going to need to worry about any instance.
I'm going to take that out and put something that's all green hate.
It's going to be land destruction because that's what he needs.
And so it's basically taking a deck and
making it solely for the purpose of
tech. We do that against each other. To be fair.
I'm just saying that bothers me and it's annoying because
you can always tell when it's like,
oh, okay, so you're playing me with this deck you just revised
and you just played three cards that you would never
have in the deck unless you knew I was playing a blue
deck. So it's not really like you're testing
best decks. Kyle, why are you saying that
she's... I forget if you called
him a shithead scum of the earth might have been what i called him i forget no i shithead scum of
the earth what is what is chis doing that like i don't know like i i try to explain what i imagine
what's happening i you're kind of close it's when i purchase cards it's often to achieve
like some mechanic or to make something cool happen because i want to see like it's like
in solitaire when you finally win it goes like i want that moment where like lots of cool shit
happens on the board and it seems like chis buys cards like that goddamn artifact that costs eight
and his life count doesn't change once it's on the board. He puts out these pieces on the board that it's just like,
ugh, that thing's so hard
to deal with.
You just put out a thing out there that I really need
a niche deck to even deal with the
threat that you've created.
And he's got multiples of them
and so two of them come out
and every time I draw a card, I'm like,
okay, if I draw Artifact Destruction, I can kill it
and then I can kill him next turn.
Because that's what it'll be.
I'll have 20 life, and he'll have one.
This happened today.
I had 20 life, he has one, and then he plays a card that makes it so that his life count doesn't change anymore.
And then I'm just drawing turn after turn after turn to try to find some of my Artifact Destruction to get that shit off the board so I can put the coup de grace on him.
get that shit off the board so I can put the coup de grace on him.
And,
and,
but every time,
but,
but he's just further and further putting me into a hole with cards that do things like exile my cards or tap my car.
His counter argument was that he's playing within the same spending limit
that you are.
You guys agreed to some spent cap.
Yeah,
but that's all.
He like showed all his receipts and everything.
And he's like,
look,
if I'm winning under this, under the rules we established, then I'm winning.
Like I said, I've got no
problem with anything he's doing. He hasn't broken
any rules, like I said.
The initial
cost... It's like, I've got the
Maury Povich meme. You say you have
no problem, but the fact that you called him
a shithead has determined that's a lie.
You don't have to break a rule.
You're playing in a way that angers me or I feel is shitty.
You know, like in MMA.
There's plenty of fighters who aren't breaking any rules,
but goddamn, why you got to be such a dick?
It's more just like when you're playing with a friend for fun,
there are certain strategies that when you play them,
people don't want to play with you anymore because it's like, okay, the entire purpose of this deck is you're trying to win by frustrating
me and making me discard my whole hand or milling me out or full control with blue or
whatever it's going to be.
There's ways to play that that's totally fine.
And it is fine.
It's just if you're trying to play with a friend.
If I were to play Kyle one-on-one on my kitchen table,
there would be a 0% chance I would take out my reanimator deck
as he took out his in-person deck,
and I'd be like, oh, yeah, time to see who's better, bitch.
Because it'd be like, no, of course I'm going to win.
And he's going to be very frustrated the whole time,
because it's not that he can't win, it's that he has no way to win.
Like, he can play it as good as he can,
but because I have a deck that's just a different strategy lined up to him, it's that he has no way to win. He can play it as good as he can, but because I have a deck that's just
a different strategy lined up to him,
it's going to be better. The same thing with Chiz.
That Tron deck is annoying
as shit to deal with.
Have you guys played against Stasis deck?
Stasis deck?
No. I haven't been in the meta for a while,
so I don't know. Yes, Woody, of course.
But that is
probably the most ridiculous deck you can play against
It's pretty much you don't get to play every time you want to play you they just skip your turn
So there would be five turns where you're doing nothing and the other guy is just putting his green stuff
It's a green blue mostly you can go green red, but mostly green green blue
It's ridiculous.
Basically, you don't get to play.
So that's even more annoying.
Let me do an ad read here.
It's not unfair.
It's just a matter of maybe Chizn playing very family-friendly decks.
I think that's it.
Chizn is playing a more smash-mouth version of Magic, I suppose.
You can put it that way.
I'll say this.
If we could put it in Civ terms, he's playing fucking Poland every goddamn game.
Or China.
Poland, China.
Poland, China.
Poland, China.
And I'm over there like, Brazil?
I'm just having fun sometimes.
You're just trying new shit.
Trying new approaches.
Anyway.
Let's try Babylon, man.
I love Babylon.
But I prefer Poland. That's Civ V. anyway let me tell you i love babylon um but but yeah i prefer poland um comedy and that's
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Is this available in Europe?
Maybe.
Maybe it is.
Yeah.
Maybe. Go check them out Kyle showed me
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sorry for my lateness but my walk has gotten
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that was really really funny
sorry but you're going to
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Yeah, they do.
Did you hear that Kevin Gastelum was popped
by USADA?
Kevin Gastelum?
There's too many names now.
He looks Mexican to me, but I think
he's not. He used to fight at 170. to me but i think he's not he used to
fight at 170 but he looks thick and short yeah yeah he kept missing 170 and he fought at 185
against hector lombard um but so normally when i hear someone's pop by usada i'm like fuck him
fuck every accomplishment he's ever had yeah who knows how long he was dirty etc
he popped for marijuana metabolites ah i don't care not even a little
bit so but he's it i might be wrong here i thought that that only mattered if you're in competition
which is like in air quotes in competition because that's a very well laid out and defied
thing what that period of time encompasses i thought only then um it looks like we're wrong
and uh um they're they're pulling him and he was scheduled to fight anderson silva
and when they canceled it june 3rd that's okay so that that flies in the face of what i had read
on reddit right i'm right there with you subreddit because
because what they always say like i i even heard like interviews like i follow this pretty closely
and and i've heard that the guy be like yeah there's in competition there's out of competition
and then he might have been bisping who did who explained this but um and bisping went on to talk
about that he thought the guy should be on marijuana anyway he's like maybe it puts you in
a place where you take more pain jujitsu guys are always talking about how much more creative they get when they're on marijuana.
I don't buy any of that horse shit.
But hey, just saying.
I've heard people take less brain damage on it.
You going to add a little more cushion in there?
The science doesn't make sense to me, but it's a thing.
I don't know.
You're going to put some goo in there to lessen the brain damage.
to me, but it's a thing. I don't know. You've got to put some goo in there to lessen
the brain damage. He tested positive
for carboxy tetrahydrocannabinol.
It's
sometimes called carboxy THC,
which is a marijuana
metabolite.
So,
I don't know. I hear
THC, and I think, oh, yeah, I know. That's the
marijuana stuff. Yeah, he ate some edibles, or he smoked some weed of some kind. He imbibed marijuana in some way or another
and it's been metabolized into that and they've tested for that.
I wish they would stop enforcing that one.
Jerry Jones of the NFL, Dallas Cowboys owner, big wig, he recently said,
we need to stop this with the marijuana NFL. Stop. What's the point? What are we doing?
Let them play ball.
I think the NBA may have stopped, although I'm getting that from my ass.
But I have it in my head that they stopped testing for marijuana.
Certainly haven't heard about it.
And they look like the crowd that like that sort of thing.
NHL doesn't test for marijuana.
They don't?
The NBA did a test on Kawhi Leonard last week.
No, two weeks ago, I think.
Really?
Also a similar thing, yeah. Kawhi Leonard, which has No, two weeks ago, I think. Also a similar thing, yeah.
Kawhi Leonard, which has been playing
very well for the Spurs.
He just randomly got tested after
he scored a 40.
I just lost everybody.
The NBA said, like, time for a test.
Did he pass?
I saw a fighter talking about
a USADA issue today.
I watched the video.
He had a southern accent and a bit of a mullet.
He looked like a heavyset guy.
But he was basically saying he had tested positive with USADA.
Was he fat?
He didn't look skinny.
He wasn't Ray Nelson, though.
No, definitely not him.
Younger guy.
He was saying that he had tested positive with USADA for a banned substance,
and they looked into it, and it's the same shit that McGuire used back in the day.
It's like androgynol or androgylin or androgynin or something like that.
He used creatine, too, but I guess it wasn't that.
Yeah, but that's all fine.
Creatine's fine.
Yeah, creatine's fine.
He used this other stuff that's not okay.
It's like a steroid and a performance enhancer for sure.
And it's a banned substance.
This guy tests hot for it, and he's like, whoa.
And this is him in an interview.
I'm parroting him.
He's like, that's bullshit.
I don't even take creatine.
I don't take pre-workout supplements.
I don't even take protein.
I take a joint supplement.
I take a multivitamin.
That's it.
So he goes to USADA.
He goes, boom, boom.
This is what I take.
He literally is so funny he's like i'm trying to get some riboflavin in this motherfucker
i'm trying to get up i'm trying to get up on my vitamin a
and then the whole time they've got video of him like you know there's a bag swinging and he's like
ducking the bag and like like doing drills and stuff he's like i'm trying to get my vitamin a
and as he gives them the supplements they test though not only those supplements but they pull batches of
the same batch number off the shelves test that shit and sure enough it's tainted supplement uh
and he's all good but he was he was like now i feel like i got a bad name now the diaz brothers
aren't going to want to smoke weed with me it was pretty funny though i. I like that guy. I want to know him now.
Yeah, I'm going to look it up.
I'll find it.
It's only a matter of time until they'll get real.
I guess really the matter of time is when they legalize pot,
when they finally take it off all those sports.
I guess I was wrong.
The NHL does test for it.
There's just no punishment for marijuana. You know, something about the transformation
that NBA players' bodies go through makes me think that
steroids are routine around there like they just leave college as lanky strong but lanky guys
and they turn into like what LeBron James did and it's they're just massively perfect physiques. What other drugs do you think they do?
Like, do you think they do, like, cocaine?
I was really talking about steroids, but... I know John Wall has done it.
John Wall has had a pretty crazy story.
He's a point guard for the Wizard, Washington.
He got caught with cocaine?
I'm not sure cocaine, but his dad was a criminal,
and he
was uh he was involved in a shooting against police and all that crazy stuff before he i
think his first year in the nba he was pretty crazy crazy story actually so a lot of a lot
of players in the nba actually have have been tested for drugs i don't know some some of them
may have been caught doing the nfl too but
sometimes they like notify the players or people know that that there's a chance they'll be tested
in this window and yeah it's real easy to avoid that avoid going positive and a lot of these
things people i don't know if everybody knows but a lot of these things flush out of your system in
like 24 hours so it's super easy especially coke yeah coke goes out of your
system super fast like that's i'm surprised i like every other sport but the nhl has players
are like oh he tested hot but it's guaranteed like it's known that the nhl has a coke problem
because it's a very good drug i guess to do if you're playing hockey because it gets you really
on point and ready for fast reflexes and you're just have you're out there having a blast i get i guess but i saw some uh it was some clip
of it was actually jeru it was jeru because he was he's known as a party animal the captain of
the flyers a bit and he was it was like a ref cam and he was going up to take a face off and some
other guy on the other team was like hey jeru buddy you're playing like you had a bit of pepsi
earlier today huh having some pepsi and he's like, no, I don't do that, huh?
Or whatever he said.
Because the Pepsi clearly being like you had some Coke before the game.
Like asking him about saying you did Pepsi.
And it's like, yeah, that's definitely a thing.
Because you would know in the game as they're like lining up for a face-off
and you see some like white shit dripping out of this guy's nose or something.
You're like, oh, yeah, that's for real but is it is it adderall real similar to adderall's real similar to or i mean i don't know
about the actual effect of what you're feeling but i know like it also gets you on point i don't know
if maybe it's not as good to do adderall as cocaine i wouldn't imagine that adderall give
you the rush that cocaine would but um i would. You've seen guys in sports use all
kinds of uppers. Back in
the day, it was greenies.
They even referenced greenies in
that It's Always Sunny episode.
I can't remember which baseball player it was,
but he's that guy who threw the
no-hitter while he was on LSD.
He's that guy.
He was... Was it Nolan Ryan?
No. He would talk about doing the... He was a black guy. He was... Was it Nolan Ryan? No.
He was a black guy.
He was talking about doing greenies, these amphetamines,
about how many you take.
He said something like... Doc Ellis.
Yeah, Doc Ellis.
He's like, I'd take a whole handful of them and throw them on the table.
And whatever stood up, I took.
But if not enough stood up, whatever failed, I'd take them instead.
And it was like, this is just your way to take an ungodly amount of effort before you hit the field.
He's like, I just throw them on the table.
Whatever stood up, take it.
Sometimes none stood up.
I just take them all.
But it used to be on Netflix.
And he tells the whole story about the day he went out there.
He's a kite on LSD
and and like he's looking at the picture and like seeing stuff right like like he's seeing like
the universe flowing into the catcher catcher's mitt and he's like sending the ball on some sort
of Milky Way ride every time he throws his arms like stretching all the way to the glove every
time yeah yeah he's just out of his gourd.
It's real fun to hear that. How would you do that to yourself?
It's the same thing that the South Park guys did years ago
at the Golden Globes or Oscars or Emmys.
One of the award shows. I don't know.
Yeah. Well, you gotta keep in mind
they were also both dressed as Jennifer Lopez
who the year prior had wore that super sexy dress
that was a huge deal where our boobs were
almost hanging out. It was taped to them.
It was split down the front.
And so they show up the next year in the same goddamn dress,
high on LSD.
They're funny.
They are really funny.
That seems like the most stressful thing in the world.
Not if you don't give a fuck.
Strong counterpoint.
They even said when they're doing the interview, and for those of you out there who have done LSD, you'll know that the most difficult thing to do is transitioning.
And the most intense thing, I think he said, is transitioning to a new environment.
And so when we pulled up in that limo, we had to basically like open that and be like, like into a whole new world of shit.
Red carpet.
Like, yeah, like, I i can't imagine so that'd
be so stressful i've never done a hallucinogen so i don't know maybe you it really mellows you
out to the point where you're like oh everything's doing great i guess all the the floors blend in
together or whatever you see i don't think mellow is what you get. I'm not sure. Ahmed? I don't know. Sorry?
I was just asking you about LSD.
I didn't think you really knew.
I have no idea.
But I do know a friend that told me about a friend of his that has been doing...
He has failed the university for about six years or something.
He has fucked his life with alcohol and drugs.
And the latest story is that they were in Amsterdam and they were drinking and taking some LSD and other drugs.
And two days later, he wakes up in the other side of the country near Belgium.
Eight miles away.
Well, more like 180 miles away.
But anyway, so he wakes up there.
He has no idea where he is.
He's half naked.
People are looking at him at the train station and
that just seems to me ridiculous that you could lose yourself in drugs so i've never had an
experience with that so he sounds like van wilder he's still in school it's not like he's out
he's just hitting his seventh year right like sure he should be pre-med by now but hey he's
gonna get that associate's degree. Don't worry.
Just stop rushing him.
He flunked out last year after six years, I think he told me.
He got his associate's after six years?
Kyle made that up.
No, no, no, he didn't get anything.
He flunked out after six years. No, he didn't make it that far.
He didn't make it to a...
Yeah, he could have got a bachelor.
When I left college and I had all my friends my age like most of them were
obviously leaving too in four years as a lot of as most people kind of do in four years and as i
was leaving there were so many people i knew who were like i'm taking a victory lap which was what
you call a fifth year where you have to go back and do something else and at the time it was like
oh you lucky son of a bitch like you get to go do that and i have to go out to the real world
and then like visiting back like a year and a half later than that and seeing those same people being like oh you know
got rough that last semester i gotta take a sixth year sucks dude like it became very quickly like
ah this is pathetic like this is not where you should be now because these were not people who
were like i just can't figure out the school it's too hard it's just people who were like oh man i know this is the third time i've
taken accounting too but i think i'm just gonna get high and do nothing again and not college
girls for another year yeah as they stay the same age and i get to the creepily old uh area where
yeah like because at some point it's like dude you're like
24 years old this is obviously years a couple years ago but like you're like 24 and still
like go into bars with like seniors in high school or seniors in college fresh some of them like
juniors and sophomores who just got in there with fake ids it's like it's a little weird
you start to get that thing in high school were there any guys who had graduated already or were like a year two years older who were still coming back and like hanging
out and trying to do stuff yes those were those guys were such losers we made fun of them we even
knew then at the time when they'd come back it's like oh you're coming back because you couldn't
cut it and make new friends and you're too set in your ways here. I wish I could say I'd seen the same, but I saw the exact fucking opposite of it.
I saw a guy who had,
I was like, what year did you graduate?
You know, I was like, you look familiar.
Like, I know you can't be four years older than me,
so you're at least 21, 22, I guess.
You know, I'm like 18, just have graduated,
we're on our senior trip,
and this guy pals along on the senior trip, and it's
like, he gets two bitches,
and he can buy alcohol,
and he's getting laid, and he's doing whatever he wants
and just stumbles, and he's like, hey, I'm
here, you ever want to fuck me?
And they do! It was shocking!
I couldn't believe it! To this day,
to this day, I'm like,
how did that happen?
That will still happen. I should have clarified.
All the guys hated the guys who came back.
Because the guys who came back, all the girls think, oh, he's a college guy.
He's cool.
Oh, he likes me?
All those college girls out there and he wants to be with me?
He wants to fuck me?
You know, I must be as cool as those college girls.
And really, it's just like, oh, I'm not confident enough to talk to them when they're all my age so i come back like some fucking predator and
sneak some junior in high school away in my high school was actually the coolest people who came
back right it was never some nerd going back and like elevating his status it was a guy who peaked
in high school and and you know like yeah he was the captain of the football team two years ago
now he's hanging out with us at some bonfire with beer and because of that like the other
cool kids would hang out with him like yeah you know they were on the football team together or
whatever but it wasn't like i feel like it was still known like oh yeah that guy like he peaked
in high school he's he's a warning sign to the rest of us, not a stud.
I have a new topic.
I watched a YouTube video today of Wings of Redemption.
Oh, I saw a part of it.
What was it about?
So let me lay this out there,
and maybe the listeners want to go check it out themselves.
I found it quite entertaining.
It's a two-parter.
I think at least it should be.
Is it a two-parter, or is it editorializing? There's a two-parter i think at least it should be um is it a two-parter or is that
part of it that he didn't put them sequentially or anything but like the other day he made a
video where he's like i got these people renting the trailer next to me that my grandmother used
to live in and they got to go they're not paying their rent it's been like a month two months
something like that told them to leave they're not gonna leave i have to have them evicted so
the first video is him laying all that out there
and going into the courthouse and doing the paperwork to get them evicted,
though none of that is filmed.
Fast forward to today, and we get the eviction.
They're already moved out,
and so you get to see the aftermath of what these people had done.
If you're very familiar with Wings and how he's set up and everything,
he's got his grandma, gangster grandma, living right next door
in that single wide wide and then he's
in the double wide. They're both living together now.
They're both living together now.
It used to be that he had the grandma's
trailer next door and then he's in the double wide.
Now the grandma's in there with him and
he's been renting out that single wide that the grandma
used to live in for a good
amount of time. Those people ruined
that place! You go
in there and like i know his
grandma smoked but apparently these people smoked so much more that like the cigarette smoke has
stained stuff and where there was like a small leak in like the ceiling imagine you know how
like it's a popcorn ceiling that's been completely stained by cigarette smoke and then some water
leaked through and that brown cigarette smoke
flowed with the water down the wall
and made this gross stain.
And then he showed where he's replacing,
like there's cigarette butts everywhere,
and the sink is ruined,
and there's a window broken out.
They really trashed the place.
And speaking of trash,
he goes on the back porch,
and there's 30 bags of rotten garbage out there.
I enjoyed today's video.
How long were they there in the trailer?
I don't know, but it seemed that they were
a month or two behind on the rent.
So, you know.
So you guys have been in contact with Wings lately?
I watch his videos.
I don't think so.
Well, that sucks for him.
I don't watch his videos, but
I mean, that blows.
I wonder what it looked like beforehand.
At first, I was like, were they bad tenants?
Or is he just blaming
all the wear on them? Well, it looks like
they put out their cigarettes on the carpet.
And that's
where... You don't think that's what
all those burn marks were?
I didn't see any burn marks on the carpet.
It's very dirty. It's very dirty in there. the carpet that he that used to be white he says is
it looks filthy um but i didn't see any burn marks on the carpet i did see like cigarette butts on
the carpet but to me that transitions from mouth to ashtray to floor like no smoker i'm telling you
like like would would throw a cigarette in a household.
Like, nobody's that retarded or
careless or just... No one does
that. That's just not a thing. I literally felt
they were using the carpet as an ashtray.
Oh, nobody would do that.
That would be really stupid. That nobody would
do that, I promise you. Like, smokers have, like,
a thing that they do with them. Like, I can
still feel a cigarette butt in my hand right
now because I flicked them the same way
every fucking time. I would
have it right here and I could
flick that thing so fast that it would, like,
if it hit a holly bush, sometimes it would be impaled
on the holly bush and just, ah!
The butt would just stay there and I always thought that was cool as fuck.
I was like, what are the odds?
And I've done it like three times ever and every time I'm like,
ah! I had to chain smoke
two packs, but I got it! But I got had to chain smoke two packs, but I got it.
I have lung disease, but I
got it.
But yeah, I thought that was pretty fucking entertaining.
I like checking in on Wings every now and then.
Just so you know, Wings, that's not the same sink.
Okay? You replace a plastic sink
with a porcelain one. They're very different materials.
Porcelain won't melt. That's how you know.
Well, I'll watch it later.
I like the context for that one.
I like this political question.
I know people are going to be... whatever.
So this question
is the inverse for Kyle and Taylor
versus me. To Kyle and Mirka,
what political moves by Trump
would make you feel that he's doing a bad job?
What a leading bullshit question.
This is our stupid thing.
And then they ask me... you're part of answer this very leading
question that starts with you on the back foot go wait wait let me finish the question and then he
says to woody what moves would make you feel like he's doing a good job as president i didn't see
that it's so terrible like oh it totally. What would flip your opinion of Trump?
That's all he's asking.
It's not that you have an opinion to flip.
Just like with anything, you don't have one
solid opinion on one thing.
When I think about anything, I'm not like,
that is all good.
That is all bad, except for
Cheez-Its and sour cream.
Sour cream's all bad, Cheez-Its are all good.
Most things aren't that binary. There's stuff that he does aren't that binary. Like, there's stuff that he does
that I do like, and then there's stuff that he does
that I don't. A good example of
not doing is the healthcare thing,
trying to ram through, being
annoying as shit, trying to primary
other Republicans because he doesn't seem to
know how to work well within that, and he's trying to
just bulldoze through different
areas and try and get stuff done in a different way.
I don't like that.
I don't like that.
Well, of course you don't because you want to see that schism come up.
No, you don't assign a motive to me.
I flip it.
I ask myself, if Hillary was president, would I like it if she was hiring Chelsea and her husband for important posts?
Yes, that's fair.
I don't think I like that.
It shouldn't be
a family business yes i totally agree with you there like the ivanka stuff i don't like it seems
like so many people who are trump fans are just like just oh ivanka she's so brilliant and awesome
and i love her and she's great and it's like no not really like i don't see what i don't see this
brilliant person that you're all talking about
and why she should be in these positions
or have access to these things that she does.
She could be a Sarah Palin in sheep's clothing.
We haven't heard her say anything of substance.
I felt like I was alone in that.
I'm like, am I just uneducated?
Is she brilliant and I haven't been watching enough?
I feel like all she's done is look great.
She's well-spoken,
and she handles herself with a lot of poise.
Yes.
And grace.
Did Trump give her a position in the White House?
Did what?
Did he give her a position?
Her and her husband.
Not an official position, just an office.
She has an office,
and she has top security clearances,
and she's part of the team now.
And her husband is...
Who the most important person is seems to change all the time but her husband they're they're joking now
that his responsibilities are so broad that most administrations would consider this a crisis
but in the trump administration it's just considered like a faith in how great he is
all right well let me answer the question. It's not? Go ahead.
Yeah, I think it's a super leading question because I think that some
people have this idea that Taylor and or
I have this love for
Trump that is impenetrable.
And every time we see him do a thing, we're just like,
ah, but that's Trump. It's okay.
Like, no, I'm not a fucking moron
and I'm certainly not so one-sided
that I don't see every step of the way when he's doing this
Shady shit. There's lots of things that don't care for that. I'm seeing out of Trump
It's just the truth and I won't defend them because they're indefensible when you run into something like that. You can't defend it
What am I gonna say about X Y or Z things that he's done that I don't care for I don't like all the Russian smoke
I don't like his
Ineptitude, there's no other word for it. i don't like all the russian smoke i don't like his ineptitude
there's no other word for it i don't like his lack of attention to detail i like i don't like
his lack of passion for his office and the i love his epa stance i like his epa stance yeah yeah
yeah i don't care about the environment anymore i'm done with that well that's not the angle to
take okay i don't i don't think that but seriously
the EPA stuff I just care very much less
about
my water's clean
Coca-Cola purifies the shit for me
alright they make sure that there's no
lead in here
but to Kyle's point of like
there's too many moving pieces to really
like or hate it as a
singularity because it's like i really like
the nomination of gorsuch i think he's a a good choice and so i like that aspect of it the way
that trump responds to questions about syria as an example where it's almost like well it's not
almost like it's clear he doesn't know what he's talking about and it's almost like he doesn't even
seem that interested in becoming more informed of it i don't like that and so and it's almost like he doesn't even seem that interested in becoming more informed
of it i don't like that and so and there's not like a scale somewhere where you can be like all
right the gorsuch nomination counts for three three happy points and this is one one frowny
face and you aggregate those into one and a half stars and like there's no way to know there's too
much shit to go by so it's like yeah there's a lot of stuff he does that I don't like.
And there's a lot of stuff he does that I do like.
That happens when your main source of information is Breitbart and Fox News.
That's the reason. I mean, he's listening to them and he's tweeting about them.
So I think it's ridiculous.
His Twitter, he needs to settle down.
If Trump were making deposits and withdrawals, with my opinion with him,
to settle down if trump was making deposits and withdrawals with my opinion with him he makes very few deposits and it seems like almost everything he does is a withdrawal and i go
through the list it's a lot of times this hasn't changed but you know the the isp thing is new
there's the bribery thing for energy companies that's not this new thing uh with the what do
they allow coal companies to dump ash in the water.
The reason he's so pro-coal, if people
haven't put this together, is that
coal jobs are in swing states.
He's not governing the country
here. He's trying to win
swing states. There's more
people working in Arby's. That's a stat that keeps getting
thrown around than there are working with coal.
One, I totally understand
what you're saying. is a stupid misleading way to present
it though because if you compare the amount of families being supported by those jobs and the
amount of money actually going to those people and the amount of yes so it's like oh these all
these people with part-time you know jobs making two hundred dollars a week, that one job counts
the same as this guy who's a full-time
coal miner who makes
$110,000 a year. Never mind the industries
and services of the coal industry.
It's just a very lazy, misleading way to present it.
And I'm not pro-coal.
Solar does a lot more. There's a lot more jobs in solar.
And the reason he's so
focused on coal jobs is that they're
in swing states and and that's
on a related topic that's one of the reasons i hate the electoral college it seems like
automotive jobs and coal jobs and you can become president because no one else changes their vote
and that's it sucks i don't want i don't know why he likes coal i'm not sure if he had i think that
like attributing it to his uh his want to win swing states is almost giving him too much credit.
No, that's what it is.
I don't know about that.
I wouldn't be surprised to find that he will profit greatly if the coal industry does well,
or someone he knows will profit greatly if the coal industry does well.
Or in some way, if the coal industry does well, then this industry does well,
and they're the ones who write all the leases for coal mines or something. It could be
so convoluted and complicated that it's difficult to
even make out what's going on. But I don't
know if this guy has
an election in four years on his mind right
now when his approval
is like 30%, 37%
or something like that. Forget the
swing states, dude. Just try to win
one for the home team.
To answer the question for me, what do I want trump that would like dramatically improve my opinion of him i would
like to see him set up america for some sort of long-term success right my initial idea on that
is like renewable energy you know we could be the solar country where everyone gets their stuff from
we have all the patents and such and the chinese are paying us to manufacture that would be a thing but i don't know maybe there's other things maybe faster broadband
maybe better highway systems maybe you know something that would make america competitive
in the long term would really improve my opinion of them maybe it's irrigation and water or
something that turns us into some better country i did some research on the solar thing and it is a good idea but it's like we put so
much money into solar research and shit every year and it's not like it's it's not at the point yet
where we can transition a bunch of stuff to solar all in one like it provides like what a single
digit amount of power to this country like two percent of the power and it's like two three
percent like nothing so it's like I want to see nuclear happen
because it seems like that would be so much
fucking power and it would be
it would be clean so everybody can get
behind that and we can do it
so much safer but people are afraid
of like the 3 mile
island kind of shit
where nothing bad happens
but psychologically hearing nuclear it's like it does trigger something where you're like island kind of shit. Which is understandable. But psychologically,
hearing nuclear,
it does trigger something where you're like,
solar, that wouldn't hurt me. Maybe a little bit of a
red tan, but that's fine. Sunburn. But nuclear,
oh god, that'll tear me to smithereens.
But I think that is
the future, is nuclear. Because it's going to be
totally clean. It's going to be so much
fucking power. It's going to be cheap.
I was watching a video about a Dyson sphere. Do you know what a Dyson sphere is?
I don't.
That's the idea of enclosing our star, or a star, in a device that would capture its output.
It's a pretty cool video.
That is cool.
Yeah, and-
It's so crazy what people can do.
What we can do now. We's co-opting
the success of our species, but I'm going to do it anyway.
Yeah, right? I feel like
we should take some credit, right? We're here.
We're a product of their accomplishments.
We're a product of their DNA. We're a product
of everything that they were and or are.
You know, we don't get here without some...
We are the descendants of the most
badass motherfuckers
that that uh you know like a half million or quarter million years of evolution could could
fucking form not to mention all the infighting and the war and the pestilence and the disease
and the beasts of the land like and we're here we're the product of all that that hardcore
motherfucking shit although so were the swedes the swedes were fucking vikings and now they're
getting legislation to have to sit down to pee and stuff.
Well, look at solar power production.
And, like, first of all, it's a little higher than you said.
It looks like it's 1.4%.
It's a little lower, you said.
I said 2% or 3%.
Oh, my mistake.
Yeah.
And I'm trying to get the year on that.
The interesting thing about it is
the trend like it solar was like nothing nothing nothing and now it's like a near vertical hockey
stick like that number is doubling every year and so i think a lot of that is because we're
putting so much more money into solar than nuclear because people don't want to go nuclear
it's about the efficiency right Like, nuclear's gotten to where
it's gotten, and then we're going to have to start
going to some sort of fusion reactor
to go to the next level of nuclear, but it seems
like solar is almost
obeying, what's the law, Woody, for
computing process?
The thinking of Moore's law.
Yeah, solar follows almost a similar
growth pattern
where it gets more and more efficient.
Eventually, solar is just going to be extremely efficient,
and the sun is just a gargantuan nuclear engine
that we've got for free up there.
If we could harness that, sure.
I can just see a future where tons of dads are buying...
They're swapping out their roof with a $12,000 solar roof,
and now they've got all this power production
and they can't wait to put their electric car off their roof
because they're excited about it.
But, Woody, wouldn't you rather have a $22,000 fusion reactor in your garage?
Just vibrating and emitting a nice warm glow,
powering everything for generations to come.
Will it give me a tan as well?
Because solar can do that.
I do prefer nuclear, by the way.
It does seem like the best thing that we could do,
because hydroelectric has lots of drawbacks
from the pollution and
all the energy that goes into the creation of the
thing to messing up habitats
and changing the course of rivers
and all that stuff. That can be bad.
I don't know what the
legitimate downsides of solar are
other than it's quite inefficient, very expensive
and the Chinese seem to have an edge
on us and that's only going to get worse because we've got
President Trump.
You know, on the hydroelectric
thing,
I'm mostly ignorant on this, but
I'll tell you, every time they put it up
it seems like shit gets better.
I fucking love it.
That's what I run on.
All of this is hydroelectric.
This is probably nuclear.
Anyway, there's these beautiful lakes and lakefront homes in the area, and the property values go up.
And it's picturesque.
It's amazing.
And they say, ah, but there's a fish that doesn't like this
and i say fuck that fish this place is great and it gives me free electricity like i'm not so green
that like i i'm willing to i'm on your side with fuck that fish i don't care about that fish unless
it's a tasty fish but i just i found this i was looking up like solar verse uh nuclear and like
the reasons for the debate.
I just linked the article. I've been skipping around it.
It says that one major problem with the cost analysis of solar versus nuclear is that solar costs are examined without the installation cost,
but simply the price for the module itself,
whereas nuclear costs are full installation costs because it's a building.
It's an actual place. Another problem
is that a watt of nuclear power provides
about three times as much energy
over a year as a watt of solar power.
I don't know
what that means. I don't understand that.
My initial thought would be they both provide a watt.
Yeah, it seems like
what weighs more, a pound of feathers or a pound of rocks?
Yeah, that doesn't make any sense.
Is one a steady watt and the other a peak watt?
Any wind or turbine power in America?
Not very much.
It's just not that much.
It depends.
I know in California there's a good amount.
It's very popular.
Yeah.
This country is just so, so big, though, compared to Holland.
Yeah.
Have you seen the wind farms in California?
It's quite viable.
They put them on the ridges of mountains.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I mean, it depended on the geography, obviously, but it's very viable because almost 40% of
Holland's infrastructure runs just on wind and turbines.
A lot of times.
It's so efficient.
Dozens of buildings.
A lot of times when they um
try to erect windmills there's major like political opposition i guess they make some noise
and people don't like the way they look i remember in massachusetts they wanted to put it off i
forget the town name but anyway they wanted to put windmills just offshore and they were going
bonkers over it because it would ruin the horizon and stuff
like that so that you run into that a ton in america i don't know why i don't know
place them in the middle of a field or a middle of a ranch or something and they're not very
intrusive not as much as solar uh solar technology which takes a lot of space. It does.
But I hear story after story I've read where farmers agree to put a windmill,
thinking like, oh, my gosh, it's just a tower, and it's free money for me
because they get a recurring lease.
And then they figure out that it makes a noise, and they find that unlivable.
Yeah.
They kill birds.
You can hear them. They're ugly.
I'm so against the bird argument.
I put that right next to the fish.
They do kill them.
Airplanes kill more birds than
turbines.
Airplanes disrupt migratory patterns.
The airplane is going to be here today.
For one fucking second, the airplane is going to exist right there.
That turbine is now here.
It's not just one. It's the entire landscape is now littered with turbines and so that every flock of eagle
every flock of bird eagles don't fly in flocks every flock of bird has to deal with this now
gigantic barrier and i don't care about the fucking bird if it takes them more than one
if they go through their pass through they're in their big flock and they fly directly through
a turbine and they go oh fuck je fuck, jeez, we just lost
like six of our buddies right there.
What was, oh, it was the spinning
thing in the sky that we flew right through.
Like, you should only need one fly through
for the birds to figure it out. And if they continue
flying through and through and through, then that species
didn't deserve to exist. Evolve, adapt,
be better. I've heard the bird
argument a lot and I wonder
if it's people grasping at straws or like,
how does it compare to a glass building?
That's what I'd like to know.
Cause they,
I don't know.
They fly into the glass.
If you've never worked in a glass building,
birds just fucking hit it all the time.
Like you work,
you type it away and just the birds die.
And they,
they don't,
they think they're flying into the sky cause it's reflective.
So they go beak first at, I'll make up a number, 25 miles an hour, and they die every time.
Because their bones are little hollow pixie sticks.
Glass buildings are just mirrors in the sky, and birds fly into them and die.
That's a good counter-argument.
That's just an excuse politicians use to keep their interests,
because they're being paid by the coal industry and by all the other industries.
Are you telling me Donald Trump doesn't really care about the eagles?
He doesn't care about that big titty swallow.
Of course not.
Donald Trump is a birdman.
On the EPA stuff, sometimes I feel like they're grabbing the frog and using that as an excuse to stop development. And I'm not a big fan of that.
No,
but other times they find a burial ground or something.
I'm just like,
bulldoze it.
Exactly.
Yeah.
But when it comes to like human drinking water and breathing air,
that's the stuff that I really liked about the EPA.
Well,
I mean,
which humans,
which Americans,
right?
Kyle,
are you talking about the Iraqis? I mean, which humans? Which humans? Americans, right, Kyle?
Are you talking about the Iraqis?
I said humans.
No, he's talking about the Irish.
You've watched the show.
Oh, yeah, the Irish.
Fucking Irish.
I hate a hole.
I heard Conor's fight.
Speaking of Irish, I just wanted to say, Conor McGregor against Merriweather.
Yes.
I heard he's training for 147.5, right?
I saw some footage of him mixing it up today.
I feel like the first stage of this fight is the rules, right?
And they have grabbed a weight class so low, Conor barely makes it.
That guy looks like a skeleton when he weighs 145, so let's assume 147.5 is the same.
Conor looks skinny to me at 155
like he's not big and bulky or like and he connor's bigger than mayweather so they just freaking
shrink connor down to mayweather's size and then of course it's all boxing it's boxing gloves it's
boxing rules mayweather's gonna hit that fucking weight too and he hasn't fought there in a while he's fought oh he's fought at like 165 before i thought like mayweather tiny
i need to check up on so it's just are they are they using boxing gloves or we don't know
there is nothing in in stone yet the this the story today the new thing is that connor's camp
says they are training like the fight is on at 147.5
with boxing gloves, and that's what
he's working on now.
He's going to get beat bad, isn't he?
Yeah, McGregor's fast, man.
I mean,
McGregor, if it's just a straight-up boxing
match, isn't Mayweather going to beat him
pretty badly? Nobody knows, man.
He's really fast, and the other guy, Mayweather,
is a really old guy. So how old is he?
Is he like 38?
40.
That is a bit different.
Connor is bigger. Connor is probably stronger.
He's, I don't know about faster.
He's definitely younger.
And he's in incredible shape.
Maybe he's got the cardio. But I think what you gotta do is
listen to the experts and what they're saying about this.
And most of them are saying, like, you don't really know like this could happen or
that could happen you don't want to count that guy out that champion who knocks people out with
his fucking left hand like it's nothing but how can we discount the guy who's 49 and oh and is
supposedly the greatest pound for pound box that's ever lived although he is 40 now and yeah nobody
knows what's going to happen that's why it's such a big deal.
The actual stats seem to all be about McGregor,
and maybe this isn't as big a deal as I think it is in fighting,
but if you're used to and you've been training for your entire life
with these four-ounce gloves, and then they're like,
all right, do all that same muscle memory, but you're wearing eight-ounce gloves,
and it's not the same amount of space that's being taken up,
your hands aren't in the same position, I don't know,
ostensibly, and you have to fight like that.
That could be enough, maybe, and maybe
I'm wrong, just to throw him
off and make it so his tempo
is not the same. That's going to be a big
part of it, not because Conor has never
experienced boxing gloves before. It's not
like he's like, oh my god, what are these? I'm sure
he spars with them, he trains with them, he's used them
many times before in his boxing.
Mayweather lives in them though, right?
They're his bread and butter.
Mayweather's been in those gloves forever.
It's what he's made millions,
hundreds and hundreds of millions of dollars wearing and doing.
I have the weight answer.
Mayweather's last fight, he weighed 146.
And then, of course, Conor, he's big at 155 he's the champion
there so 145 yeah he's the double time 140 yeah kind of champion so um yeah connor made 145
whatever that was two years ago people say he can't make it again connor always maintained he
can i guess he's signing up for 147. I don't know.
And also, I keep hearing how much bigger Connor is.
According to Wikipedia, he's 5'9", and Mayweather's 5'8".
So that's not that much bigger.
Of course, those numbers could be off, but that's what they say.
I don't know.
Everyone seems to act like Connor doesn't have a chance.
When I listen to experts, they say it's totally lopsided.
But I used to think Conor was going to lose his fights,
and then I realized you're not right very often when that's your prediction.
So I don't know.
If you had put money on one of those, who would you put money on?
It depends on the rules.
I need to see the odds.
That's where I was getting at.
Just the boxing match. I feel like the weight class...
Give me the rules of the boxing match.
How many rounds? How many minutes?
What do the gloves weigh?
Just the full normal match.
My guess is the weight
and the rules are going to pretty much
match Mayweather's last fight.
Conor's going to be a fish out of water
in every regard and Mayweather's gonna be
at home and it seems like you know if there's a fight before the fight that is agreeing to the
rules the venue the payouts etc it looks like mayweather's winning every round of the fight
before the fight so for connor to go in there having you know having to be super light having
to do boxing rules having to do boxing rules, having to do boxing gloves.
If they put MMA gloves on
and everything else was boxing rules,
I'm interested in that fight.
I like Conor better.
It only takes one.
Exactly.
But you put eight-ounce gloves on him.
He's never been hit like that before.
Has McGregor fought any boxing matches before,
professionally?
No, he never did pro boxing but he was like his
his mma base is boxing like he was a boxer uh that was his training base before he got more
well-rounded um nobody knows what's gonna happen obviously mayweather has the edge you'd assume but
he's got a lot going against him as well that That's why it's such a big deal. That's why everybody wants
to see it. And Mayweather's the king of
fucking boxing. A lot of guys feel like
he fucking cheated Pacquiao out of his
due, and they want to see him punished in the same
way people want to see Durandamy
punished by Chris Cyborg.
We're going to get it, though.
It's going to happen, I think. There's just too much money
there to be had. Hundreds
of millions of dollars for going in there and getting a little little beat up for both of these men they're motivated they're
gonna do it i forgot about duran to me what did she do i fucked around to me no late she was hit
holly home after the bell yeah a couple of minutes stuck her tongue out like yeah yeah i guess i hit
her after the bell no fuck you cunt i wish i wish that male referee had just boom this fucking
punched her in the ear just right there bare-fisted and she woke up the next day and got to see, like, I don't remember who the ref was, but, like, Big John going, ah!
There's a female fighter, Christine Cyborg, with more testosterone than that male referee, and that's who's next, and she's going to murder her. Push her ass into the fucking ground. She's from the same country as Boss Rutten is.
I think we got it wrong last week.
Whether he's from Netherlands or Denmark.
They always do.
Let's just stick with Denmark.
Denmark.
Denmark, yeah.
Sure?
No.
I'm not sure at all.
She's Irish.
I can look it up.
Misleading me.
I'm going to look this up right now.
Oh, misleading you.
Didn't you call him Gorse of Viennage or something for a whole episode to fuck with me?
Oh, maybe.
We tried to convince the Philistines we're a country in the Middle East today.
He's from the Netherlands, Baskerville.
From the Netherlands.
Thank you.
All right.
We won't get that wrong again, then, all you boss-routin' fans.
I'm a big boss-rooting fan.
I really like his cadence and how he talks about things, his sense of humor,
and the lighthearted way that he talks about the brutal, violent things he's done.
He reminds me of Joe in that he can have a calm, collected, intelligent conversation about beating another man unconscious.
It's a trait not many fighters have.
And even if they explain it in a way that's not at all
articulate or interesting, you still have to
be like, whoa, wow!
What a story!
No, I know he is.
It's funny.
A lot of podcasts...
Is it...
I mean, they already did it one time.
I just watched...
It's medium-sized. It's Gustaf. It's medium size.
It's Cormier versus.
Anthony Johnson.
Anthony Johnson.
Anthony Johnson.
Very angular face on that tall black man.
I watched him do some sort of interview with his stream or whatever.
And he seemed like a nice guy.
I think Cormier is going to fucking trounce him again.
Cormier is actually the underdog.
Barely. I just. I actually the underdog. Barely.
I just, I watched the first fight
twice. I watched it recently
get like a, what did happen?
Oh my god.
That was a whoopin'. That was a whoopin'.
Cormier
got caught a couple of times.
There was a head kick that caught him, like a left
head kick, so it hit him
on his right, and then there was definitely a strike that hit him hard, too.
But the rest of the time, it was just a whooping.
There was that one point where he fucking picks him up and hauls him out to the center and fucking dumps his ass.
And then he's on top of him.
And the other guy's ground game seemed not to be able to compete with Cormier's.
Even if it's strong,
it's not Cormier strong, right?
This is the fucking wrestling. Cormier's core is like
among the strongest humans or something.
They're in the same weight class,
but Cormier's like a foot shorter.
He's as thick as a fucking barrel.
He's like a little Brock Lesnar or something.
He's so goddamn strong.
And I don't know, his hands are good.
His feet are good. Although
I bet we've all seen the gif on Reddit
MMA of him doing that little twirly kick
that looked like you or I threw it.
Was he with Luke Rockhold?
Oh, the one with
Frank Mir where afterwards he's like
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, I guess I want to watch that fight.
I'm not going to buy it.
I can't buy that. There's two fights uh wyman versus musashi uh that's okay okay that one has my interest and
then the rest the card really doesn't but sometimes that's what it takes i i watch the undercard
because of the top of the card and i learn and care about him next time i want him to roll amanda
nunez back out there i want him to roll uh Nunez back out there. I want him to roll
Duran to me or Cyborg.
I'd watch any of their fights as far as the women
are concerned. Of course, if you bring Ronda Rousey
back out of death,
I'd watch her fight anybody.
Bisping, GSP?
I'm not that crazy about that fight.
I don't know what's going to happen and that's
the only reason I want to see it because GSP's been out so
long.
The way I feel I think I don't know what's going to happen. And that's the only reason I want to see it. Cause GSP has been out so long. And I, man,
I,
my,
the way I feel about this being on the inside is like,
how does he keep getting to these positions where he's like the guy to beat?
And we all have to be like,
yeah,
this thing's the champ.
He's great.
When like,
it doesn't feel that great.
And I watch everybody says he feels like the most underwhelming
champion of all
time. The records of the people he's
beaten are not that great, but
hey, he took a fight on 12 days
notice and knocked out Luke Rockhold.
I'd love to see GSP
beat him up and then
GSP challenge Conor McGregor, which is
what he's going to do.
It seems like when fighters take that much time off, they're not the fighter they were.
I don't think he's been taking time off.
I think he's been somewhere fucking in Canada getting stronger and faster.
He's a humble guy, too.
I feel like he spent this time learning.
I love GSP.
You ever seen the video where him and Rogan are going over kicks?
And Rogan's showing him that turning side kick?
God, Rogan kicks that fucking bag into another dimension, doesn't he?
How often does he replace bags, I wonder?
It seems like he's going to break it.
Every time one dies, I guess.
Every time the stuffing comes out.
Joe Rogan can fold a heavy bag.
Holy smokes.
If you ever see his ass, say it was they were in the studio doing the podcast and he's wearing these uh special jeans that are for like guys who
work out or something they're called barbell jeans and they're like real stretchy and elastic
and he's doing a kick for brian callen's trying to do a kick oh i've seen this wrong yeah yeah
and when he fucking turns does that kick his ass goes like each ass cheek
is like a ham of just kick he's got two human heads at his lower back yes and like joe rogan
can seriously kick if he if if any man here allowed joe rogan to kick them in the midsection
we might die we might legitimately die and we definitely have broken ribs we might
have a ruptured spleen or liver he's gonna put you in the fucking er with one kid he's on a lot
of steroids yeah sure is he's all the man he can be he's the roganist rogan he's ever been dude
he's the most listen to these guys talk about roids and it makes you want to take them and he's
like people are like oh you're 50 years old isn't that like the wrong time he's like perfect time to take steroids i'm already 50 what do i
got 25 more years you cut that to 20 live to 70 that's cool rather be you know jacked the whole
time and i'm like he's so jacked yeah that guy's right yeah man like it's i love that video where they're outside the comedy club and that that
chick is giving rogan shit she's like look at you you're fat and he goes fat and he lifts his shirt
and he sculpted like a like an action figure just these big well-defined abs like each ab is like
this big chunk of flesh that goes around his belly and it's a big belly
But it's muscle it's got that like human growth hormone and then up on top yes
And that he goes yeah, I know my next too big for my body. I don't fucking care. He said that I love it
Before we wrap I said I look like your phone with two thumbs and you're like yeah
He does Anyway I look like your thumb with two thumbs and you're like yeah he does anyway
yeah we're getting
toward the short hours
of the show as they say
tell us about your car bomb story because we never did get to that
I did want to tell that but
we get wrapped up in all these topics
so after I worked as a translator
for the Americans as I told you earlier I when I stopped working there I was
introduced via some people to an orphanage that needed a data analyst and
an entry specialist that kind of stuff basically behind the computer entering
data from paper to digital so I went there for an interview, and I got the job, and I started working there, basically for an orphanage.
And I used to basically take stacks of papers filled
with information about orphans, their parents,
their possessions, what do they have, how much do they earn,
and then put them in the program that I helped a bit develop
in Visual Basic, really basic data entry program that we made up in-house.
Later on, we went on to use Access, Microsoft Access,
which was a lot better.
Anyway, so one of those days I was done with work.
I was like about six months after I started working there.
I was in Najaf.
We live in Kufa, which I told you about the war story earlier.
That's a bit far off. So about 20 kilometers away from home, it's Najaf, we live in Kufa, which I told you about the war story earlier. That's a bit far off.
So about 20 kilometers away from home, it's Najaf, which is the main city.
And there was a lot of tensions about car bombs in Baghdad and this and that.
So there has been a lot of security, a lot of Iraqi police, American police.
So one of those days I'm done and I go out and i see a lot of women lined up in
front of the organization they just always come up line up there to to get help and to register
whatever mostly rejected because of random reasons so anyways i go out and one of those women
approaches me and she tells me uh please help me i i i've lost my uh my husband a few months ago in the war and this and that and i
got seven kids and i don't have income i don't have anything and my the roof of our house is
about to come down on us basically because of rain and all the rotten things so it's like oh my god i
know i could take your papers and go inside and uh and they'll probably tell me what they always tell me.
That, yeah, there is not enough sufficient papers or this or that.
Basically, she would be rejected.
So I was like, oh my God, I don't know how to tell you.
I'm trying to tell her, but she just keeps insisting.
So I take her papers, go inside, talk to my colleague.
And it's like, yeah, you know what the answer is so i come back outside
and then immediately there's a incredible bang that i feel like a lot of glasses shatter of
course not very near me but about like 500 meters away from me half a kilometer and a lot of glass
shatter an incredible boom sound that just almost deafens me. So we look up and then there's this whole
black smoke in the sky. And the funny thing about this story is that my mother still to
this day doesn't know about this. And if she knew she would have made me stop working at
the organization. So anyway, I never told her. And of course she heard in the news the
next day, but I told her it was far away she didn't know where my organization was so I go out there in the main street where it happened and I look to the south where it happened
and there were a lot of fire a lot of people screaming and the stupid idiot me being like
I don't know if it's brave or anything but a lot of people kept going toward the direction of the
car bomb and so I did the same I just kept walking toward it direction of the car bomb. And so I did the same. I just kept walking toward it, and the closer I got,
oof, that was a very harsh experience.
A lot of legs, a lot of dead bodies, a lot of blood,
and yeah, that was one of the most harsh experiences I've ever experienced.
So yeah, that was pretty much it.
A lot of police came over and started cleaning up the streets.
What did they do with the body parts did are there people walking around grabbing arms and legs and like putting
them in a bin yeah so you know their toyota the toyota trucks that you also have in america yeah
the iraqi police uses one of those and basically they pile up all the bodies in the back trunk
and they just take them away i got a friend who's a volunteer fireman and he was talking about a wreck on the interstate highway which is uh for your purposes
of med they would go 70 miles per hour on those um as their faster highways and uh someone had
died in a car crash and they were just splattered and i'm like what do you do he's like i had to go
out there and shovel this person up and put them in like a bag.
Like there's a certain – like all of them we could get needs to go in that bag.
And they're like, get as much as you can.
And I'm like, well, what's the – and I'm like, what's the consistency?
Like I'm like, I got to know.
He's like, it's like – it's blood.
It's guts.
It's like – It's just viscera. It's stuff you can't identify. You're like, I don blood, it's guts, it's like...
It's just viscera.
It's stuff you can't identify.
You're like, I don't know what that is.
It's just mushed flesh, pink and organs,
and they're just scraping up as much as they can
and then just depositing it into the bag.
Thankfully, I didn't do any shoveling or anything,
but I just stood there like an idiot and watching.
And a lot of people screaming and a lot of women screaming.
A lot of shouts of Allahu Akbar, which is a funny thing.
You guys heard about Allahu Akbar, something that people shout before they blow up themselves.
But in our culture, in the Islamic culture, Allahu Akbar is kind of used in a contextual way,
like in a way that you call for God's help,
you know, just by praising him.
So you say, God is great.
I think it's very similar to when,
if you ever watch like a YouTube video of Americans
and something bad's happening,
we say, oh God, oh God, oh God, oh my God, oh my God.
That's a great example.
A lot of people don't realize this,
but that's exactly how we use Allah. So you hear Allah, but you freak out. But in Iraq, it's kind great example. A lot of people don't realize this, but that's exactly how we use Allahu Akbar.
So you hear Allahu Akbar, you freak out, but in Iraq it's kind of normal.
Although I will say you don't always use it that way.
I've never heard an American go, oh my God, oh my God.
But on the other hand, I've seen plenty of Muslims go, Allah Akbar, Allah Akbar.
And everybody gets pumped up and they start fucking.
We are very.
Like, come on.
We are very smart people.
And we use words in a lot of different ways.
So that's all I'll say.
What is, for when you were walking over there and you saw the bodies and everything, was it, like, what was going through your head?
Like, you were probably, it was almost surreal probably like did it take a little
While for it to like settle in that it actually happened, and it wasn't almost a dream sequence
It took me a day. It took me a day to realize what I've been through
I was in shock at the start so I
Go in there start walking some people talk to me
And it's like help me out take my carriage out some people are trapped under there some
basically some people are trapped they were injured but trapped because of a carriage
that the blast has pushed on them so I helped him drag the carriage I start walking away
again and start watching the police come over and they start moving people they start looking
for survivors this and that and my shoes were all over the blood. So I go to the corner and grab
some plastic bag that I found on the ground and I wipe my shoes and I just walked home,
walked to the bus that took me to home. And at that time, when I went home, you won't believe it.
It was like a normal day. I didn't feel anything like I've never, nothing has happened to me that
day. Nothing has happened. i went home and it's a
normal day i just had dinner talk to my mom yeah just played a video game turned on my laptop with
my last episode i remember very specifically i watched lost that day and then i go to sleep
next day i wake up oh my god the feeling is pretty much indescribable i was like
i don't know depressed shocked and yeah i don't know it was, shocked, and, yeah, I don't know.
It was really harsh.
It's weird when something happens.
But 9-11 was like that.
Like, the nation needed permission to care about sports again,
to laugh again. Like, there was a national sorrow after 9-11.
And then, of course, we didn't see body parts, you know,
in the same way that you did.
But I feel like it's similar.
Yeah, yeah, exactly.
It's weird how, like, you'll see.
I just imagine you seeing that.
I don't know how far it was from your home, but, you know, several miles from your home.
About 30 kilometers.
Okay.
So, you know, just down the road, something horrible, almost indescribable has happened.
And you've been right in the thick of it.
But then you go back home and everything is exactly the same like like that other shit didn't
happen yeah like like this shit back here is completely independent of that it and it doesn't
seem right because what had happened over there seems so terrible immense and important that how
can things over here still even be the same how could there still be sandwiches to be made at home
when there's legs on the ground 15 kilometers away?
Processing it was...
It's a weird thing for us to do.
Yeah, exactly. Couldn't process it at the beginning. And then it took me a day, a whole
day to even realize what I've been through. And it's like I was at the time, I was 18,
I think, 2008 this was. And so the next day I was completely shocked. I didn't play video
games, I didn't read a book, I didn't do anything. And so I just went to next day I was completely shocked. I didn't play video games. I didn't read a book.
I didn't do anything.
And so I just went to school, did my thing.
I remember very distinguished.
A lot of people asked me what's going on and this and that, but I didn't answer.
Just went home and then a week later life just went on and just forgot about it.
But I still have nightmares about that.
Yeah, that's fucked, man.
That's horrible, dude.
What's the nightmare like?
nightmares about that.
Yeah, that's fucked, man.
What's the nightmare like?
Well, basically just me being... I don't know if I should describe this.
I have a lot of weird
nightmares, but one of them
is that I'm completely drowned in blood
and a lot of people
asking me for help, but I'm too arrogant or something.
I don't know. I feel like I don't want to help them.
It feels like I
can help someone. You've got survivor guilt. You feel bad because you couldn't do anything while you were there. That's what that's about.
You were there and you were helpless and there was nothing to do and there's blood everywhere. That's what that dream's about.
I don't know. Yeah, I never thought of it like this. But I always, like when I wake up, I feel like all sweaty and everything.
But it always feels like I could help someone but i don't in the dream i
mean yeah it's because you have that guilt inside you there's a part of you that that inside of you
that believes that when that thing happened that like maybe there's something i could have done
maybe there's yeah but but there wasn't it's yeah that that's that's exactly what it's about you
should you should think about that more and maybe maybe get some professional help i don't fucking
know i don't see a psychiatrist or anything.
But maybe just on your own, just realize that that's out of your control.
That was a horrible thing that happened to you,
not a thing that you were a part of or had any control over.
And you would have helped if you could.
You know that you would have if there had been a man there.
If there had been a man there that said, I'm mad, help me and get me,
you know you'd have went there.
I would find solace in that. I imagine this and if there had been out of them I'd imagine that scenario in which you could
have helped because you couldn't have been in the real life scenario and thought what would I have
done and the knowledge of what you would have done I think will bring you some comfort if you think
about that like I'd have helped I wouldn't have said no I wouldn't have drowned in the blood I'd
have tread through it no but I think one of the reasons as well, because I
saw a lot of people helping out
and a lot of people
doing something.
I feel like I was useless.
I was in shock, I think. I didn't know what to do, so I just
kept walking. At the end, I just cleaned up my
shoes and went home. The buses were
just riding like normal. I heard when I went a few days later that two days there
were no buses.
If I was half an hour late, I probably would have walked home, walked for 25 miles.
How old did you say you were?
18?
I was 18 at the time when I started working there.
That's a really difficult situation to be in.
I think Kyle really hit it on the head.
Yeah, Kyle might be right.
To be honest, even when I dream about it,
when I have a nightmare about it or anything else,
I never think about it.
I just wake up and it's done.
Never think about it.
Never even try to reflect upon it.
But it's interesting the way Kyle said it. So anyway.
Yeah, dreams mean things.
We talk about those dreams where we can't pull the trigger.
What do you think that's fucking about?
That's some sort of performance anxiety.
That's some sort of fear within myself that I won't be able to not literally pull the trigger,
but figuratively pull the trigger in some regard.
Maybe I can't do this or can't do that, that I'm going to fail.
That's all that's about.
It's a fear of failing,
and it's a fear of some sort of weakness inside yourself.
Most dreams that are serious
that come back to us more than once.
Of course, we've all dreamed of something random
like your fucking teacher in blue panties,
but that didn't mean shit
other than maybe you wanted to fuck your teacher.
This means something, though,
something really important to you.
You should think about it.
I keep a dream journal.
I'll tell you what else I've been working on.
Every time I walk through a door, knock on the door and I say, am I dreaming?
Nope.
I've started doing it so much.
I heard Joe Rogan talk about this and, like, inducing lucid dreaming.
And the idea is that if you do this enough, if every time – and I mean every fucking time you walk through a door, you – in your head or whatever, so you don't look like a moron, like a maniac in public.
In public, don't be like, am I dreaming?
And then walk through.
Don't do that.
Yeah, whisper it to yourself in conspicuous light.
That's what I do.
Are you a sleepwalk?
No.
But what's going to happen though is you're going to – eventually you're going to be in a dream, and you you're going to knock on a door and you're going to say, am I dreaming?
And you're going to be like, yeah, I am.
Yeah, I am dreaming.
And then you're going to be able to initiate a lucid dream, take control of that dream potentially.
And it's a skill that you can work on and you can harness and you can have some fun in your dreams.
I've never thought about dreams like that.
But I do sleepwalk sometimes.
That's also another problem I have with that.
I've never went really far outside.
Maybe it's something to do with what you were saying.
But whenever I open the door, like the main door to the house, I wake up.
I've had that like two times in this house, which I've been in this house for four years now.
I used to sleepwalk too.
I would argue with people.
for four years now i used to sleep too i would argue with people found that when the dream blinks out like that it often means i either don't have the necessary information or i'm afraid of the
necessary information but when i was a virgin every time i had sex when i put my dick in a pussy
the dream would end because i don't have the necessary information i don't know what that's like yet now when I take a vagina. I'm like dicks in the vagina
But for the longest time every dream I'm like hazaa
Before I had sex I've had a lot of those dreams and I would the sex would continue. I don't know what you're talking about the sex would continue yeah i promise that yeah my brain didn't know what a pussy felt like
yeah now what's it right there i guess my brain thought that pussy would feel like my hand so
that's why i was thinking about masturbation like in my lifetime it's gone from something that
it seems like most people admit
didn't happen, didn't do. That was
the stance they took. And now,
while it's not something you talk about in public,
what do they call it? Not public company.
Private, proper company.
I wasn't going for mixed, but any
proper company, I'll say.
I'm lacking it.
It's not something you talk about
in public too much.
But it's almost like wiping your butt.
We all know that everybody
does this. Everyone does it. I hope so.
Don't talk about it anymore.
I'm on strike.
You're on strike against you?
No, against Charmin.
Another quick story about wiping.
This reminds me of a funny story.
You know, in Iraq, we don't have actually sitting toilets.
You don't know that, guys, right?
Yeah, you guys are squatters.
Yeah, I've seen a moaning, a meaning of...
And we don't wipe, we wash.
We used to wash anyway.
So you also know that?
So basically, you have a hose that is near the toilet,
and you just make a water stream stream and then you start washing yourself.
That's how we do it.
So anyway, so this friend of mine told me a story about his family.
His father was going to the toilet and he was a big guy, very big guy, large heavy.
And he goes to the toilet and the cement on the toilet was let's just say was getting old so he
sits down oh my god a lot of the old people all the houses used kind of like
a little hole underneath the toilet that was protected pretty much by a small
layer of cement so that's how they did it and everything would go there and
then at the end all the shit gets filled like the
hole would be filled and then they would call someone.
I swear to god this is true.
I know where this leads.
Yes.
No, it's not as extreme as you are thinking now but people would call like a car.
They offered services.
They would come in, put a hose inside the hole and then they suck everything out.
That's how they did in the old houses. The new houses have kind of
a little system that is built
into process all that. So anyway, this
old man, father of a friend of mine
goes to the toilet and the toilet breaks and
pretty much he's half of his
body inside shit.
I always thought
that was hilarious.
Oh, that is horrible. I bet he lost weight after that.
I bet he didn't.
Might have, might have.
He's like, this is not worth the extra snacks after 8 p.m.
No, it's not.
That's really funny.
You never know.
I do have a very weird country with a lot of weird people.
Yeah.
Well, do you guys want to wrap the show up?
Sure.
Well, it's been great, guys.
Thank you very much for inviting me.
I enjoyed having you on very much.
It was fun hearing about your experiences overseas.
It was cool to find some
common ground with movies and magic and all that
stuff as well.
I wish you the best in luck in all things that you do
in the future.
I've been a fan of you guys for a long time.
It's very cool of Chess to invite me and you guys having me.
Thanks a lot for that.
Hopefully we'll see each other soon. Well, I'll see you
next week soon.
For sure, dude. You're a cool guy.
Easy to talk to. You have some awesome stories.
Thanks a lot, guys.
Alright, and to the rest of
the people out there,
there's no post rolls
or anything?
Ahmed, do you do anything with twitter online that you'd like to send
people to well I do have twitter
and everything else like everyone else
but I'm not
I'm not a public figure so I won't
then there you go best option is not to
very good
PKA episode 329