Painkiller Already - Painkiller Already #349
Episode Date: August 31, 2017This week on PKA, the guys get hyped for the Mayweather vs McGregor fight that's about to go down, Jon Jones AGAIN gets popped for steroids after coming off his victory against Daniel Cormier and the...n Taylor shares some stories from recently getting into Tinder.Â
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All right, Pinkula Ready, episode 349, live.
Kyle?
A couple sponsors tonight.
We got Lyft, CISO, and a brand new one, Bombfell.
Links down below.
I really like Bombfell.
We're going to talk more about them later.
Tonight, if you're watching this on Saturday and you're not a Patreon, you fool,
is the fight of my lifetime, perhaps.
It's the biggest fight of my lifetime. It's the biggest my lifetime it's really about kyle
isn't it always i'm the self-center it's look i watched mike tyson fight lennox lewis i watched
it live we sat there we ate prime rib and it was it was decent this is so much bigger than that
this is huge this is massive it's it's going to be a billion-dollar fight.
I know that the gate tickets didn't sell that well,
but that's because they were like 250% the cost of the tickets for Mayweather Pacquiao.
They're like $7,500 tickets and shit.
This thing is going to do a billion pay-per-view and gate all combined,
and I've changed my mind.
I've bought in.
Changed your mind.
I've bought in.
Conor McGregor has sold me.
He has sold me on himself.
He's the greatest salesman in the world
and he has one product
and it is himself.
He has convinced me
that not only that he believes he can do it,
but that he can do it.
I think that he can knock this man out.
I think, especially with the 8-ounce gloves,
and I know Floyd Mayweather
fought 46 of his 49 professional fights in 8-ounce
gloves. I know this.
But Conor McGregor hit so fucking hard,
he's going to make this a dogfight, and I think
he can knock this man out.
In the first 5-6 rounds,
it could easily be a
Jose Aldo kind of shock the whole
fucking world kind of moment, and I think
it will be. That's my prediction.
I say Conor McGregor wins by KO. what are the odds you have to say it you have to say i'm like i'll give
you two to one odds right now i'll take mayweather i don't want them to win but i think it's an easy
bet but two to one odds might not be fair to you like in vegas you might get four to one like i
don't know what the odds are the odds have been shifting and of course like like i don't know a
ton about sports betting but but from what i understand the reason the odds have been shifting, and of course, I don't know a ton about sports betting, but from what I understand, the reason the odds have been shifting is because so much money has been going in on the McGregor side.
So many people are betting on McGregor.
They're having to shift the odds so that further bets are going to save their asses.
They've got to move the line.
I've also heard that very little money has been put on Mayweather.
Now, one thing to consider with that is the kind of man who bets a million dollars on Floyd Money Mayweather
doesn't let that money sit in a non-interest-bearing account for a whole month, right?
They're going to wait until the last minute and put their money down, or they're going to bet on credit.
So we've got to wait until after the fight, I think, to know what this thing has done, how much money it's made, and that's what it's all about in the end.
But, man, I am ready for this spectacle. I'm going to move my television into the living room. My dad's coming over.
Kitty's going to watch between her
fingers.
Isn't it $100?
Yeah, $100.
I'll bet you one to one odds
$50 American dollars
that Floyd Mayweather wins.
I'm not betting on anything.
I've already lost $100.
Kyle, we know that we're not actually gonna end up paying the bet either way,
it's just so I can be invested. I'll buy you a Steam game or something, fuck it.
Can we start actually paying, Kyle? I think I collected on a bet, or you did, or...
Yeah, you collected. Tell your father that the Lannisters are not the only ones who pay their debts.
They might as well do it, I well. I like collecting on the debt.
I've set up bets where I say,
we're going to bet this and we're going to actually pay.
Just so you know, this is not a...
I know we're friends,
but what's the point of betting $5
if nobody pays?
I like to pay on the bet. It's my
preference.
You're thinking a billion
dollars for this thing kyle like all
rolled up yes like how much bigger would that how much bigger would that be than the most than
what is currently the biggest 40 bigger or something like that i think pac uh pacquiao did
4.6 million pay-per-view um but you got to count the gate sales as well that's going to be
outrageous because it's going to be back i think this be outrageous. I don't know that Pacquiao was at $100.
I don't know.
I honestly don't.
I think it was 4.6 million buys, though.
That's what you've got to keep in mind.
4.6 million purchased that fight.
At $100, that comes to half a billion dollars
rounded up a bit.
This is going to be double that.
Think about the hype and think about what this means.
Where's Pacquiao? From the Philippines orines or something yeah they ain't got no cable down
there at least my my racist assumption is that they don't but in ireland yeah that's bananas
dude ireland has like stones down there man they're still in stone age i i got you are you
real quick kyle you are you're so you're so wrong that it's baffling
There's like four million people in Ireland. How many people do you think live in the Philippines?
Look the 7 million
twice
Philippines has a hundred million people and that and and
Duarte their leader or whatever he's going to I mean, I'm sure he tried to decree that everybody had to buy it.
I'm just guessing that Pacquiao's from the
Philippines, by the way. I have no fucking clue.
I don't care.
And that's the point. Who the fuck
is Pacquiao? I'm not a boxing fan, so I
don't know and don't care. Conor McGregor
transcends all of that. This is
the United States versus Ireland.
This is the United States versus Europe.
This is white against black, even though
nobody wants to say that, but it is. I'm sure there's
plenty of racists who are out there like, yeah, this
white boy's going to get his ass whipped, or
this, like, uppity
guy's going to get beat down by the great white
hope. There's plenty of that. I think a lot of people see it
more as, like, American
versus non-American, or at least
that's what I think if I'm watching UFC fights.
I feel that if you're watching UFC fights. I disagree. Can I jump in on that?
I feel that if you're from Ireland...
If I see Filipio Mikjevic or something
from Czechoslovakia fighting
a Mexican or a black guy who's from the US,
you want the American to win.
That's not how it works.
It's not how it works. You're wrong.
If you're from the Philippines, you want the guy
from the Philippines to win. If you're from Mexico,
you want the Mexican to win. If you're from Brazil, you want the Mexican to win. If you're from Brazil, you want the
Brazilian to win. For some reason, if you're
American, you just pick your favorite.
They're all on the menu for you.
When Anderson Silva was against
Chael Sonnen, it wasn't Brazil against America.
Tons of Americans were against
Chael Sonnen. That happens everywhere.
Sure. The reason why
is because we're not hurting for
sports heroes around. right you pick you
don't in the in the philippines if pacquiao's from there because he is he is i looked it up
um in the philippines like like who's their other great sports legend right like like like like i
don't know who's their championship basketball good jockeys from their soccer player football
player who the fuck knows right yeah a few jockeys maybe. But in the U.S., it's like, oh, my God.
Pick your favorite sport and then pick the best guy at it.
He's probably American.
Like, who's the best snowboarder in the world?
Sean White.
Who's the best basketball player of all time?
Michael Jordan.
Who's the best baseball player of all time?
Even if you want to argue between Babe Ruth, Barry Bonds, or someone from the modern era,
they're all American.
If you're from Ireland, I just don't think
there are that many great Irish
sports legends that are at
the top of the game, and Conor
McGregor is that.
In Ireland, the sports that they do have
that are different, where there could be an all-star,
I had someone on Twitter link me
to a sport called hurling
that's the national sport
of Ireland. It's kind of like lacrosse, but it's not a pouch. It's just link me to a sport called hurling that's like that i guess the national sport of ireland and
it's kind of like look it's like lacrosse but it's not a pouch it's just like a almost like a golf
club a wooden you know almost like field hockey that kind of thing but a bigger end and you scoop
it up and you smack it to people and it's like i was watching the clip i'm like this is pretty cool
this is a pretty aggressive physical sport but the best hurler of all time there is not a prayer
that more than six or seven people in the entire U.S. could name him.
And they're probably here on vacation from Ireland.
Like there's no – it's just it doesn't reach the same –
And, hey, forget about the population of Ireland because this isn't like – we talked last week about Jewish people and how there's like six million Jewish people in Israel.
And then the rest of the U.S. I bet there's more Irish descendants in the U.S.
Look at cities like Boston and up in the Northeast that are just, every, or in Chicago,
where they turn the rivers green every year on St. Patrick's Day. There are millions and millions
of Irish. But I looked into this like 10 years ago. to this day tons of irish people immigrate or emigrate
i forget into america and uh yeah they they joked that their chief export was irishman you know like
that's their thing so yeah even now lots or recently lots of irish people were still coming
to america i'm so fucking pumped i i i've watched every hype video i've watched all the sparring
videos the three-piece suit for the baby.
Oh, my God.
Can you pull a picture of that shit up?
It'll take a second.
Conor McGregor.
I'll lay it out there.
Conor McGregor bought a custom three-piece suit for his toddler for the fight.
And he's sitting there with some Gucci aviators on and this purple six suit.
It's so cute. He's got the chubby cheeks look at that
look at that and connor's there like yeah you know what i thought as soon as i saw that
is the faceless nameless band of mexican women who had to sit in a dark basement at the last
second as mcgregor said oh yeah i want a three-piece suit for my baby and i want it now
and they said and so they you know they grabbed the only people that can work at 2 a.m. when he's drunk tweeting or whatever.
And these poor women have to sit there all night working finger to the bone, trying to make it.
Oh, why do you have to stay at work so long tonight, sweetheart?
We are going to celebrate our daughter's quinceanera.
Oh, McGregor wants something.
We must obey.
Like that kind of shit. Like I didn't like it. That shit's wants something. We must obey. Like, that kind of shit.
Like, I didn't like it. That shit's Italian made. You could tell.
Like, he'd skip on it. No, that's Mexican made. He'd get some Mexican soup. Bullshit.
That's probably a thousand dollar suit that little baby's wearing.
Dude, if you pay a thousand dollars for a suit that's gonna
fit a baby for the next nine hours, you can
go fuck yourself. I hope he loses this fight badly.
Oh, what parent doesn't?
What parent doesn't pay a thousand
dollars for a suit? No, what parent does? Name one other doesn't pay a thousand dollars for a suit
no what parent does name one other one who does and not like uh uh angelina jolie or brad pitt
who like buy a thousand dollar tutu for their daughter apple or whatever like maybe not a
thousand dollars in one shot but you know i see plenty of babies wearing like nice shoes and
lacoste shirts and shit and in my head i'm like fuck that's gonna fit him for like
three months something i mean i think we bought our baby a tux or something for some wedding
you know a family member wedding they're surprisingly cheap it's your pride and joy
it's the most precious wonderful thing you have that you want to show off like like you'd put a
spoiler on your sports car you'd pay you pay two grand for some custom wheels why wouldn't you
trick out your baby it just makes sense to me me. It does. Why does this kid have
some wheels?
Instead of spinners,
his wheels could blow bubbles.
He'd love them.
He's one step away from piercing the top
part of that baby's ear.
Have you seen that? Babies
with pierced ears?
That is up there in the trashy.
I might be reading too much into this
but i'm just looking at this pic like carefully for the first time he seems to really be a proud
dad like i'm connecting with mcgregor like if you just look at his face and the joy he has like
that's my boy that's his boy right there there's a video that i haven't yet watched uh because i
was gonna link it to you and maybe watch it with you but it's it's it's titled a message from Conor McGregor to his son
for the future and it's this YouTube video I guess we're just the cameras on
McGregor and he's giving a message to his son kind of curious as to what that
is I don't know if anybody if you're interested in watching it yeah but Yeah, let's watch this. If it's shit, we'll stop.
How long is it?
Three minutes.
Oh, okay. Yeah, we can do that. I was afraid it was like 17.
Alright, I'm queued up at zero. Are you guys also queued up at zero?
Yep.
Yes, he's with Ariel.
Ready, set, play.
And it's been all me. And the fight on August 26th will be all me also.
So, the little man.
Oh, there's your son.
I didn't even realize that he was watching.
Yeah, he's watching Daddy at work.
I want to bring him around and just kind of show him.
He seems to come alive when, I don't know, when people are around or something.
We were walking through the wind and we were doing some shopping.
It was his birthday and we went shopping.
And the crowds start forming like they always do.
And when he saw the crowds, he just kind of, I don't know, he enjoys it.
So I want to bring him around so we can all look back on these moments.
These are historic moments and I can't wait to share them with my son as he gets older.
You have that new father glow when you talk about being in awe of him it's something that every father experiences the first time that they bring their son or
daughter into the world but i recall not that long ago you talking about jose aldo and saying
he has kids yeah those are distractions i don't have what has it been like preparing for the
biggest fight of your life as a father yeah that's an interesting one because you know i i didn't
understand what way it would actually make me,
but it certainly made me more focused.
I am laser focused.
Everything is more structured.
I go and I train and I work as hard as I possibly can
at that moment, and then I go home and I rest
and I spend time with my family and there's, you know,
even my co-
Is there gonna be a message to his kid in this at all?
I, apparently not.
Apparently, like I said, I had not seen this.
Oh, clickbait.
Can you believe people do clickbait titles?
Sons of bitches.
It's worked out perfectly.
We've had a great camp this time.
I've got to spend so much time with my son.
Jake Paul, Jake Paul.
Just so I can get it in the title.
I have a worry in my head.
Maybe I will need to just go away for a couple of weeks and just be alone.
But it's been seamless.
And everyone involved is to thank for that.
My whole team has been so accommodating and so helpful.
Who has pants?
I need new pants.
Man, those are bad pants.
He wants some really nice pants.
I don't know what to bump him.
You can now tell your son that he was a part of this.
Yes. Have you thought about that? Of course course his entry into the world of course i look forward
to the day when i can show him show him this you know what i mean show him what show him my career
the crazy things that i've done in my life the crazy journey i've been on and then mostly show
him what hard work can achieve and show him that if you achieve great
things you know because he's come into a life of financial freedom right I mean
his financial freedom is secure so I don't want him to come in in a
privilege to be you know privilege mindset so I want to implement what it
what it took to get this life and really instill hard work and focus and dedication into his mindset.
So he goes and achieves his own greatness.
My son's going to come up in a life of financial freedom.
And I'm teaching him from day one that you can spend $1,000 on a three-piece suit for a toddler or stay rich these are the lessons i'm teaching my son i'm such a dick you know what i was thinking
as i watched that wouldn't it be nice if obviously jesus talks shit about conor mcgregor's son
what the fuck that'd be great he's a little too high brow i don't think
conor would offer to fight him i also thought. I also thought about it. It would be the biggest PAX in history. It would just be the same mismatch. I'm comparing myself to Connor. But yeah, I would destroy, obviously, Jesus. It doesn't matter if it's me or Connor. He would lose anyway. This is probably the only UFC fight that I've gotten excited. Not super excited
about, but I'm actually going to end up
watching this one. It's not even a UFC, but anyway.
Yeah.
That's the other thing. It's mixed martial arts
versus boxing.
It's a boxing ring.
It's a sanctioned boxing match.
What I meant by that is that every fight on the card is boxing
when I said it's all boxing.
I didn't know there was a card.
Can I just buy the regular
fight?
Can I just buy the last fight?
I don't want to watch a bunch of boxers.
I hadn't looked into it because
you're telling me there are other fights on this card.
There's other boxers that are going to box?
I got that from
the Rogan podcast. Let me double check it.
This revelation made me less excited.
Here's what it should be.
It should be one MMA bout
and it should be one boxing bout.
And then let these two go at it.
With the boxing rules,
obviously it's not exactly that fair.
But, huh.
I didn't know there was an undercard.
How many...
I was going to say how many huge-name boxers are there,
but I bet there are some.
There are four fighters on this card.
Floyd Mayweather is set to face off against Conor McGregor
on August 26th in the most highly...
You didn't hear it, but there's an autoplay
that I just bothered everybody with.
But anyway, yeah, there's four fights on that card,
the fourth one being the McGregor-Mayweather fight.
Wow.
Well, I'm not going to watch those. the fourth one being the McGregor-Mayweather fight. Wow.
Well, I'm not going to watch those.
Boxing matches go quite a bit longer than UFC generally, right?
It could depend, but I think it's sort of more likely that they go the distance in a UFC fight.
I don't have the statistics to back that up,
but common sense would tell you that, right?
That the guys in the big padded gloves just using their hands
and who get, like, a standing eight-counter or whatever
probably don't – those probably go the distance more often
than the game where they have the little bitty gloves
and they're choking each other unconscious.
And there's so many different ways to win slash lose.
So –
I'm with you.
I don't have the stats, but I think boxing goes longer.
Like, all it would take –
All it would take –
Oh, sorry. Go ahead.
Chiz is writing in here that it's 25 minutes versus 36 minutes,
but he's not counting for the break between every round.
And when you do all those three-minute rounds,
they spend like a quarter of their time sitting in a chair.
I don't know how you could want to get into boxing at this point in time.
I feel like if there is one sport or trade
where you should not meet your idols, it is boxing.
Because you're going to end up meeting your idol and you're going to be like, oh my god, George Foreman or whoever, Evander Holyfield.
I've been a huge fan since you were – what did you use to motivate yourself to train?
It's like, man, I don't even know where I am.
He just go, champ, champ.
Yeah, you're the champ.
You're the champ.
I got my belt.
That's an Amazon box that you unfolded, buddy.
Mike Tyson is this.
Evander's pretty with it.
I saw Evander's opinion on this.
I think he said Connor.
I don't think he said Connor would win,
but he definitely was citing that Connor could win win it was definitely give him a chance he was
more pro connor than most uh mike tyson of course is like he didn't have a fucking chance yeah i saw
i like mike tyson though i saw his one man show so i would have thought he he might be inclined
to give the mma guy you know a little more credit. Yeah, I don't know. It's just, man, this guy is 49-0,
but I'm saying McGregor because McGregor believes it.
He wants it so bad, and he does hit really, really hard.
I mean, we all know the reasons why it could go one way or another.
You could talk about age, and you could talk about southpaws.
You can talk about brittle hands, but the real thing,
the real component, the biggest one for me is that conor mcgregor believes this shit he just he does and he and and even more than
believing it he believes that if he believes he can make things materialize and and that's that's
a powerful thing i don't believe in like the secret that book that came out where you just
believe it into being well that that's what we're talking about with McGregor here.
That's kind of The Secret.
The power of visualization, the power of positive thinking.
I don't believe it's real, but I believe that he believes it's real,
and therefore it's real enough, if that makes sense.
Especially in a fight.
I believe that is crazy.
This isn't him believing that he's going to be a software architect,
or, ooh, I believe I'm going to lead the world in real estate. No, that's not it. He's, he believes that he can beat another man
unconscious and he's perfectly capable of doing that. I think, so I think that that is a plus in
his favor. I, I, what is, uh, what is Mayweather's chin? Like, like, is he known for being able,
is he just so good at dodging punches that he's never just been smacked around or can he also
take a beating? I haven't, I've
never watched a Mayweather fight. I've watched a bunch on YouTube. I don't think that counts,
but what everyone says, what the professionals say that I listened to, they say that this man
has only been hit hard and caught hard maybe seven times in his whole career. Like out of those 49
fights, like, like maybe seven or eight times, someone really socked him one. For people that
don't know, uh, your chin wears out, right right like you might enter with a really great chin and then it gets hit a couple times and
now your chin is suspect and then it gets and once you get knocked out a few times it's easier to
knock you out the subsequent times well mayweather of course has never been knocked out because he's
never lost a fight but in 49 fights he's barely been hit hard right there there are people who
are saying connor's going to make a go of this one because they're the regular reasons. Mayweather doesn't do particularly
well against left-handers, South Pauls. And Conor does things a little differently. He's unorthodox
and weird. And Mayweather's defenses that are so well-tuned might not do as well against a guy who
fights weird.
That's like the McGregor argument.
And he hits hard, so puncher's chance.
But I think Mayweather, it's going to be like a black belt
and a white belt. That's just how it's going to be.
And he'll walk
into that and soon realize
he doesn't have anything to offer
the best boxer who's ever lived.
I think he's going to get in the ever lived. I think he's going to get in the clinch.
I think he's going to be dirty.
Not breaking the rules dirty, not getting disqualified or points taken away dirty,
but it's going to be a dogfight.
I think they're going to be in the clinch a lot.
I think as they break from the clinch, he's going to be trying to get punches at weird angles.
I think Floyd's going to try to cover up like normal,
and Conor's going to come in from weird angles.
He's going to be aggressive, angles he's gonna be aggressive and he's gonna move funny i'm gonna predict that when when when they like you know
i don't know how in the ufc they're like get it on and they like point at each other and they
they go whenever that happens whenever the bell rings or whatever and they they go at each other
connor is gonna come out and do like a roll or like a like connor serpentine serpentine
he's not gonna be traditional in any sense.
He's going to be, I saw him like doing like a,
like faking a switch kick,
going from like switching stances from south pole to right.
And he kind of throws his leg up like he's going to kick.
And then he starts boxing.
He's going to be very unorthodox.
I think that they're not dummies over there in his camp.
You know, every fight that he's fought,
he picks them apart. It's not like he
always goes out in boxes. If you look
at each fight and how he wins each one
of them, he figures
the other guy out and then he starts countering it.
That's what Mayweather does too.
I'm sorry, McGregor, he's got the power
to knock him out. He can do that.
From Mayweather's side, do you
guys think there's a good chance
that Mayweather will knock out McGregor?
That's a bet I'll take.
If Mayweather does win, it's going to be just a he outlived him.
Mayweather's going to knock him out.
You think?
Oh, no, I'll take that bet.
Ten bucks.
Yeah, I get odds?
I get odds on this?
No, one to one.
I'm the arbiter.
Okay, one to one odds.
$10.
Yeah, I got ten that McGregor does not get knocked out.
So McGregor either wins or lasts to the end, Rocky style.
Yes.
He just has to give the odds. That was the host thing.
What was he? The Bayonne Bleeder, right?
What was that guy's name? You should know this.
He's a Jersey guy.
They called him the Bayonne Bleeder.
He was the real inspiration for Rocky Balboa.
He almost went the distance with Ali,
knocked him down in maybe the ninth round,
something like that.
I didn't know his name.
I've seen him on Reddit a couple times.
He's an ugly motherfucker.
He took some beatings.
He's a big white guy, right?
Yeah, he's a big white guy.
A lot of these boxers aren't too good looking,
but you can't tell if it was before
or if it's just calcified bits of broken bones.
Oscar De La Hoya came out okay.
And Mayweather looks good.
Yeah, I think the way it's going to go down,
I'm so confident that Mayweather is going to pwn him, wreck him,
whatever the kids are saying now.
I think he's going to soon realize that McGregor doesn't have any tools
that threaten him.
That everything McGregor has is obvious and simple and white belt shit and mayweather will uh be able to
just hit him without fear and that's why i'm very glad you guys have different perspectives on this
yes i'm i think mayweather is going to, but it's going to be really boring.
And you guys are going to have to relay that to me, because if I don't watch it, it's just going to be a series of GIFs that I watch the following day.
I mean, I haven't been this confident since Clinton Trump.
Yes.
God, I wish I'd bet on that one, right?
Forget Bitcoin.
Trump over Hillary.
That's where you make your money
you just know that there was some guy out there who woke up at like 10 45 that night after after
putting like eight grand on trump back like eight months ago just like fuck it he woke up and was
like what what oh what i just made a hundred000? It's like that kind of shit. Oh, that would be the best thing ever.
even if you bet a ton on McGregor,
at this point, you don't even make
a shit ton of money off it, right?
It used to be that way.
I'm going to get this wrong, but I think it started out at like
12 to 1 odds, right? So you put $100 on McGregor
and you get $1,200 back.
Has it slid to 4 to 1?
Fighting odds are
complicated.
Chiz says plus $325
for Conor to win and minus $450 for Floyd.
I honestly don't understand.
Does that mean for every dollar on Conor, you would win
$3.25?
No. If you put $100
on
Conor, you get $325
back plus your $100. If you put $450 on Floyd, you get $325 back plus your $100. If you put
$450 on Floyd, you
get, I think, your $450
back plus $100.
I think that's how it works. We'll see if Chiz has it right.
I saw some brothers
and another guy in Vegas
bet $880,000 on Mayweather.
They know Mayweather. They're like
neighbors. He's like, I see him.
They're like, why'd you do it?
I go over to his house and I watch him
work out and it's like,
why wouldn't I?
I don't think McGregor's
working out at all.
I see him train.
This guy do his thing
over the years.
He's just sold that Mayweather's the man
and can't be touched. I've watched all the McGregor training
stuff. I've really enjoyed it.
I really enjoy it, man.
I like that guy a lot. I like him too.
I definitely want him to win.
I know you guys don't, but if you're an audience member, don't get
it twisted that I'm not some McGregor fan.
I really want him to win. I want greatness
in our era. I want a Gretzky. I want an
Ali. It'll be happening right now.
I wouldn't argue against that. Yeah. Let me just say this. Let me lay out a Gretzky. I want an Ali. It'll be happening right now. Bigger than that. Bigger. I wouldn't argue against that.
Yeah. Let me just say this.
Let me lay out a little scenario for you.
Conor McGregor goes in there, and 13
seconds into this thing, he
floors Floyd Mayweather.
And Floyd gets up, of course, because it's
boxing, but he's just not the same now.
He just got hit harder than he's ever been hit in his fucking
life. And he's dizzy,
and his hand-eye coordination's off, and he's still fuzzy.
And the ref's like, all right, ding, ding, let's go again.
And he's like, oh, shit.
And that left just keeps fucking tapping him in the fucking head.
And that's what I want.
He knocks him out in round two.
The whole world shook up.
The flashbulbs are going H-shit.
And you get one of those, like, Ali over Liston moments where he's, like, camera down, pant looking up, and McGregor's just like, ah!
And Floyd's just all dizzy with his eyes open like Chuck Liddell, and you're wondering if he's still alive.
For like one second, like Floyd's like, my dyslexia, it's gone.
I can read.
That's great.
Kyle, did you see this Cowboy Cerrone versus Nick Diaz fight?
Yeah.
All right.
Kyle, did you see this Cowboy Cerrone versus Nick Diaz fight?
Yeah.
All right.
So for people listening, fast forward, Nick Diaz is – I meant to say Nate Diaz.
Nate Diaz is like – he's from Stockton.
He's from the streets.
He's got a homeboy, kind of tough, you know, FU, et cetera.
And he often intimidates his opponents going into the fight because they're just not used to this level of, like, disrespect and confidence in a guy. He thinks nothing of his opponents.
But not Cowboy.
Cowboy went in there and he was his equal.
Nate Diaz says, F you.
He says, F you.
F you.
And they went into this fight.
I was very excited for it.
Two rounds into it, Nate Diaz is having his way with Cowboy.
And Nate Diaz flips him like the double bird.
And Cowboy Cerrone goes yeah
like yeah I know right this isn't what I thought was gonna happen but here I am I'll come out to
round three and get my beating and he did tons of respect for Cowboy I love it but I see that
happening in this fight I see Mayweather youather going into round three or something being like, motherfucker, you thought you could fight
with me? Not in boxing?
And Connor being like,
yeah,
it's obvious now.
How was I to know? I beat lots of others.
And that's how I think
it is going to go. Could happen.
That might even be the smart money, but I don't think
it's what's going to happen. I just don't. I think
he's going to come out and be weird. I think he's going to be
rolling around, doing some capoeira shit,
moving around like a panther or
something. I guarantee he comes into the ring
funny. Like, you know, like boxers
know how to get into a boxing ring. If you've
never stepped into one, you probably
trip over yourself. It's weird.
You've never touched that rope and never
ducked down. And If you're not athletic,
they're all funny. He squirms
in like an anaconda or something.
He's been training in a
boxing ring for a decade
now. I guarantee you he's not training in
an octagon for this fight.
He's been in a ring. Have you been watching the training?
Did you see the
Paulie Malignale?
I can say the goddamn name when the camera's on.
Welcome to my world.
I still don't know what you're trying to say.
Did you see him boxing Paulie, the retired boxer?
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I did see that, actually.
They showed clips of it.
So let me lay this out for the...
Do you want to do it, or I can do it?
I'd love to.
So Paulie is a retired boxer.
He's an announcer.
He's been retired for like eight months or something.
So he was on camera saying, very high level, he was on camera saying stuff like, you know,
put lead weights on my feet, tie one hand behind my back.
Conor McGregor cannot box with me.
Hell, I'll put the camera guy in there in the ring with him.
It's still be game over.
Conor hears this and doesn't like it.
And so Conor asked Pauly if he would be his sparring partner.
So they get him into camp.
Now, normally, if you're going to spar, you do like a couple rounds with one guy
and get a fresh guy in, a couple rounds with him, and you keep rotating.
He did 12 rounds.
I think they call it a smoker or something like that.
They had a legit 12-round fight with headgear with a referee and everything against Paulie.
And there are multiple clips of him getting knocked down.
And Paulie says it was a push, but if you look at it, it's more of a pull.
And he's getting hit.
I saw him sweat out of the guy's head.
So Connor hit the guy, Paulie, and Paulie kind of, it shook him.
And he bent over, and then Connor punched downwards on him, legal.
And that's when he fell.
So the guy's like, oh, he pushed me down.
But he pushed him down with the front of his fist.
That's a knockdown and uh so anyway that i think paulie talked trash like you said that started it and then connor put a picture out showing him showing the knockdown
and paulie's like that was not a knockdown don't be fooled that was a push so then they released
a little bit of video showing that it was a knockdown.
I've seen it.
Kyle's seen it.
I think it was a knockdown.
And most people do.
And now he's like, no, well, okay, release all 20 minutes of the video.
And Conor's camp is like,
motherfucker, you think we're going to release 20 minutes of our training camp video
before the fight for Mayweather's camp so they can analyze it and counter it?
Like, no, no.
We showed you getting knocked down.
You shouldn't have ran your mouth.
Have a good day.
So, Pauly quits the camp, packs his bags, and leaves.
This guy, Pauly Malignaghi, is a professional boxer?
A high-level professional boxer.
He was very good.
So, he's no slouch at all.
Right.
Okay.
Well, then that's not nearly as bad as i hope at the same time if this guy malik
nagi or whatever if he fought mayweather mayweather would would trounce him i'm sure right and
everybody in the boxing world would agree to that sure yeah but but it's not what malignology said
it was going to be wait this this isn't a situation where you put lead weights tie one hand behind
your back and go there with conor mcgreg. And one of the pictures McGregor uploads,
his hands are behind his back while he's fighting Pauly, right?
You know, he's clowning him.
He went 12 rounds with this guy.
The guy didn't have 12-round cardio because he's not in the game right now.
And Conor fucked him up.
Conor's cardio isn't going to be an issue.
I don't believe that.
I don't believe that for a second.
They've been saying his cardio is going to be an issue for months.
I don't know. i honestly don't know because connor's i know for a fact connor's been in sleeping in an oxygen tent
every night connor's been doing like pool training connor's been doing anything and everything that
money can buy he's at that ufc institute out there like if there's a way to make a man better at what
he is then they've done it to him within reason and we're not talking john bones jones style okay all right but we should talk real quick again on on connor
in 10 seconds and we'll wrap it uh i think he proved his cardio against nate diaz in his i think
that was that his most recent fight no his most recent was alvarez but yes but boxing fans don't
understand that you know it's a different game and that it's more it's more demanding and and it is a different kind of cardio right like like there's a difference
between a marathon runner and an ultra marathon runner there's a difference in a triathlete
they're just different games and you're tuning your engine to a different uh rpm level right
like like the the cardio of say a cyclist and a a runner are just kind of different because they do those things at different
uh tempos for different amounts of time but i think connor has this i i really do i hear what
you're saying into this i bet mcgregor is way more nervous than mayweather no that's not the
problem with him historically if i'm if i if i'm connor mcgregor i've already won like like you can't beat me
i just the checks in the bank we're just waiting on it to cash as long as i don't knee you in the
head bro like like my grandchildren are secure financial perspective i'm just talking about
pride of pride and legacy like i bet that he's won't be pretty for it won't be you don't think that like all of his
or i guess in fighting they usually do all of this bloviating and shit before the fight with
the press conferences and everything and then even if the guy does lose people aren't their
whole life like aha remember when you were a cocky cunt right before the fight and they laid
you on your ass but i don't know he'll be humble in defeat after nate uh choked him out in their first fight he was very humble in defeat uh he handled it expertly
and he didn't lose a single fan if anything he gained many fans i've been hearing a lot of oh
i've been hearing a lot of comparisons right like oh this is like a swimmer against a basketball
player you know like he kid has no that's a stupid comparison right you know connor throws hands he's
been throwing hands for a decade and a half now he knows what he's doing i like this comparison
i like to say connor is a formula one driver and he's entered a nascar race you know it's not like
he doesn't know what he's doing it's not a specialty he's up against a guy who does one
thing turns left and that's probably the reverse of that so yeah tony stewart yeah yeah
because one is much harder yes yeah that's why i chose that connor i'm not saying that's the
tricky one connor does the one that has every angle that has right turns and left turns that
deals with tricky now he's going to a simplified version where a guy specializes in just hands or
just left turns and and you know so we got it sorry go ahead kyle
well like a triathlete right they uh they run do the bike and they swim am i correct in this
yes okay so to me it's a bit like the best swimmer in the world going against the best
triathlete in the world at swimming okay i, I like that. One guy is specialized at this one thing,
and the other, he's specialized at three things.
So I think that's a very good comparison,
rather than, like some people say,
an ice skater versus a hockey player.
I hate that one.
That pussy in the leotard is not going to fuck
with that six-foot-three Canadian fucker
who's got no teeth in his head.
He's a more physical guy.
I'm not trying to start anything, you know,
but I'm not going to back down if it comes up is that from a movie
that seems like a quote to me i'm sure that's overly polite hockey player who's about to knock
some skaters teeth out i i go back and watch those videos like at least a couple times a year all the
mic'd up nhl things where you hear the way they fight. Because you'll hear in the NBA, in baseball, in football,
like when there are scrums and a ref gets too close with their mic,
you'll hear like, go fuck yourself! Fuck you! I'll kill you!
And like just really aggressive shit.
And then in hockey, you'll see people line up and be like,
hey, that wasn't cool what you did back there. Let's throw.
You're too big for me, man. I'm fighting him or no one.
It's like that kind of shit.
This is fun. It takes a
real level of confidence to fight
in such a polite
way.
I'm probably going to catch a few.
I don't hear them say no very much.
No, you don't turn down fights.
Unless it's obvious.
If some idiot
tried to fight the best player,
if some jackass tried to fight Tarasenko on the Blues, for example,
and Tarasenko got in that fight,
then the guy who pulled him into the fight wins that encounter,
even if he loses the fight entirely.
Which he won't.
Because he took their best player out of the game.
Right, right.
And he probably will.
He might.
I mean, Tarasenko's a fucking monster.
Okay.
But I really, yeah, you can't say no for the most part.
Unless you're a goalie.
But even then, goalies sometimes tend to be crazy, and they won't say no.
Let's circle around to Jon Bones Jones, since that's so similar to this.
Oh, yes.
Do you want to talk about the Chinese?
Because this is a really great, what I meant was, like, let's get a different topic in
there, and then go back to combat sports in a bit.
Okay.
You seem into this Chinese story. I'd like you bit. Okay. You seem into this Chinese story.
I'd like you to...
Yeah.
I really like this Chinese story.
I'm going to link you up right here.
There's a...
We're on the Evening Standard.
There's a lovely article.
Make sure you guys have it
before we start going into it.
Basically,
I think this was Chinese state media
came out and they said,
young Chinese are too fat
and masturbate too much
to pass the Army fitness test.
You know,
a guy could take that personally. how much are they jacking off that they can't do push-ups anymore it's not that
it's their enlarged testicular veins and i'll get to that the report claimed eight percent of male
candidates suffered from enlarged testicular veins quote this is related to sitting too long on
computer games excessive masturbation and too little physical activity, it said.
Some 46% were rejected for failing the vision test
because, supposedly, of the excessive use of electronic gadgets
such as smartphones and tablets.
And also, I think there was something about junk food making it bad.
Yeah, yeah.
The newspaper report added that the number of additives in junk food and fizzy drinks,
as well as the high mineral content in the water, was damaging candidates' livers and gallbladders.
Is this true?
56.9% of potential recruits were rejected for failing fitness tests.
One in five was simply deemed too fat.
tests one in five was simply deemed too fat i mean is the reason that they're failing so much because there's something in china that says like oh you know you have to join the military at this
age like i don't think they do that strictly but they're clearly trying to get a lot of people in
their military you know whereas here if someone has you know big testicle veins and is a fat ass, they're probably not trying to join the military anyway.
I also think here there's a certain aspect of the culture that says, hey, we will take you and we will mold you.
Take current me and just young him up.
A little heavier than he wishes he was.
They would be like, that's a starting point we can deal with.
And they would turn me into a soldier.
Maybe in China that's not the case.
Maybe not.
You think their standards are higher.
What is the problem here with...
I'm trying to figure this out.
Leading to abnormally large testicular veins.
If you have big testicle veins what's the problem like
what is it making it so you can't run you should be looking at the bright side think of their
incredible prostrates yes they lay down very well no wait do i have the prostrate gland wrong? Is it prostate? Ah, fuck me. Think of their prostates.
They could probably hit the wall.
Yeah.
It's well exercised.
It's really easy on a doctor's fingers.
Just one knuckle in and you're, oh, you're good.
Or you're not good, actually.
That's when they figure out.
But, yeah, this is interesting.
This picture they're using of the Chinese army, these guys look pretty motivated and thin.
They do.
Like, if you take this picture of their army and put it up next to the U.S. army, I mean, we definitely have fatter people.
You think that's something?
I'm not saying that our soldiers are all fat or anything like that.
Look at those tiny balls as hard as marbles in there.
Those guys haven't tugged one out once.
Never.
They're not eating General Tso's chicken.
It's fucking rice, fucking boiled fish.
That's it.
Those are hard men right there.
Not literally, though, because no masturbation for them.
Can you imagine the bathroom in a Chinese army camp?
It's just a hole in the ground.
It's just a hole.
No, I'm almost positive China isn't one of those countries, right?
I think on the lower end of things that all civilizations are like that, right?
Like, I mean, we had holes in the ground
not that long ago.
They were called outhouses.
We did, but not anymore.
Like, both my grandparents grew up
without running water and without houses.
But that was long, long ago.
Now, if I met someone who didn't have
a toilet or running water,
like,
like I'd probably offer to let them live with me.
That's really not, not homeless.
And they have to be hot and attractive and female.
Obviously.
As a matter of fact,
obviously forget the no running water requirement.
Yes.
Yes.
It's a no,
no men,
but yeah,
like,
I feel like you could talk to the poorest person in Appalachia.
And if you said,
you know,
Oh,
can I,
you know, you, you probably don't have a bathroom.
Where's your outhouse?
He'd be like, what are you supposed to mean by that?
You don't think we have bathrooms here?
Like, it'd be the most insulting thing ever.
Then he'd have to be like, well, you were right,
but I don't appreciate this subject.
This ain't rocket science.
It's PVC, motherfucker.
Yeah, I think most Americans have running water at this point and lights and shit.
I would really hope so. I feel sorry for the ones who don't.
Did you guys see anything about population growth?
Like India is set to pass China shortly.
And Nigeria is set to pass America in not very long.
And it was shocking to me, the un projections for population growth us is dwindling and i'm like can we still be like the number one economy as
these other people bulk up and add to their right oh yeah absolutely you think i was
what was that kyle i was gonna i was gonna go in a different direction i was talking to a
girl the other day like she has no plans to have children.
And she's a very smart person.
And I'm like, you're not carrying those jeans on, though.
Those genius jeans you've got, they're just ending right there.
How old was she, though?
25.
Okay.
Although I'm painting with a broad brush, and I recognize that.
A lot of girls get more enthusiastic about kids in their late 20s.
Perhaps.
Yeah.
Not just perhaps.
If I had to put a little bit on it, I would say that's going to change.
But I obviously don't know this genius of a lady.
Yeah.
China is in first.
I don't know why I said in first.
Like it's good to have 1.4.
Yeah.
China has 1.409 billion.
India has 1.339 billion.
And then way down in third is the U.S. with 324 million.
And then Indonesia, Brazil, Pakistan, Nigeria.
And then, man, Bangladesh in the top 10.
Good for you, Bangladesh.
I have no idea.
Where's Nigeria?
Is it seventh?
Is Nigeria seventh?
Nigeria is seventh, yes.
Dude, shocking, isn't it?
They have more than half as many people as the U.S.
I wonder if we have more room to grow, though, geographically speaking,
because so much of the Midwest, and think of Alaska and and places like that is just really sparsely populated like our
population density has to be on another level compared to say in india or china oh you're
totally right we could put 20 new york cities in wyoming and only like nine people live in wyoming
right now i've driven through it and it it's just a hilly Kansas, a prettier Kansas.
There's nothing there.
And I went, I remember seeing a sign that I'd never seen as I was driving across Wyoming
that said, last gas stop for 300 miles.
Yes.
It's scary.
And I had like three quarters of a tank, and I'm like, I got to top off.
Jesus.
This is risky business.
I was driving through Idaho, and it was the same fucking thing.
There's plenty of signs to warn you, of course, but let's say you were really tired, and it was nighttime, and you're just zoned out trying to go cross country.
You could end up stranded out there 100 miles from anything. And it's just crops.
It's just flat fields of soybean
or wheat or corn or whatever the hell potatoes probably in idaho but i just remember that it
was just so flat so desolate and yeah those signs would be like last gas for 280 miles and shit like
that it's insane like i i drove for two plus hours on the same highway in the same direction
didn't see a single person not behind me not a cop not someone going
the other way it was like after like an hour it was like oh my god i'm gonna pull into the next
town and it's just it's gonna be zombies like there's no like this kind of shit doesn't happen
like how is there no one else in the world that needs to go one of these ways in wyoming right now
it seems like there would be but. I'd rather live somewhere like that
than in an LA
or New York City environment, I think.
Wouldn't you? Somewhere more...
LA's a lot better. LA's really spread out.
I don't like LA. I'm just using it as
examples of very densely populated
areas. Yeah, sure. I get you.
I feel like densely populated areas
can be okay to live in if you're
rich. You really need to have a lot of money.
Otherwise, you have a tiny, tiny place.
You might not be able to afford to have a car.
You can't just go anywhere anytime.
But if you're rich, New York can be a nice place to live.
I hate Manhattan.
You hate Manhattan?
It's so cramped, dude.
I just remember being in there and you know you
hear it called the concrete jungle and that never clicked to me until i was standing on the the
sidewalk in manhattan and i was like holy shit you can't see the horizon like like as far as you can
see it's just more buildings blocking your view you have to look really high up to see sky like
like i'm it's like being in a jungle like there is it's gotta be depressing like to
walk around a momentary second of like claustrophobia and when i had that realization i was like wow we
are yeah okay it impresses me like in most cities you only get that feeling that kyle talks about
in a couple of blocks like if you go to raleigh, I imagine St. Louis, I don't think I've been there.
Dallas, LA,
like there's a concrete jungle,
but you can like walk your way out of it.
In New York, it just goes on and on and on.
New York has tall,
like 44 stories in New York is not a remarkable building.
That is, it's not noteworthy.
They're all, that's like a minimum there.
I made that up,
but it feels like a minimum.
And it, I am impressed with like,
I went to the top of the Freedom Tower
and I saw it, right?
Like from up above and I'm like, oh my God,
like this is an amazing achievement of mankind.
Now, not everyone's going to like it,
but it's incredible.
It blows me away.
I like New York. Yeah. I mean, I don't know. mankind now not everyone's gonna like it but it definitely it's incredible it blows me away i like
new york yeah i mean i don't know there's just something about that many buildings
like clustered around you seems like an easy way to get stressed out like you'd you'd like just
like i this this is probably totally wrong new yorkers i know there's people those of you living
in new york comment how i'm wrong. Do you just not get much sun?
Or do you only get the sun when it's reflecting off the panes of glass or the metal sides?
It just seems like it'd be almost dismal.
You'd look up and see a Pac-Man-style maze of little patches of sky.
In my head, they go to the sun places.
Like, oh yeah, that's what Central Park is for.
I go there and I get my dose of sun i go to the the harbor or this or that and uh i'll admit that like
really you have to go to the sun place the sun place is outside in my world you know you don't
have to go to central park to enjoy a little elbow room but uh that i bet is the answer yeah i don't know it just seems like maybe comparing it to
wyoming was a bad like those two the furthest ends of the pole you know new york city or
you know fucking outside cheyenne wyoming but like i don't know i i think the smaller to mid-sized
town is more my my cup of tea at least when i get older like i feel
like it's just safer you can buy more shit if you want to like build something the way you have where
you're just like i want to put i want to erect a building here on my property i want to do this i
want to do that i want to fly like you won't have to go through as much red tape i don't feel like
i feel like in those rural areas you'd be able to be like yeah throw that barn up throw that
building up you know oh yeah go ahead build the uh, build an ice rink for winter or whatever you want to do,
which that's something I've thought about before.
When I get a house eventually, I want to get one of those freeze over the winter ice rinks.
Have you ever, or I guess that probably wouldn't work where you're at, would it?
Where I am, certainly not.
In Jersey, it was even inconsistent.
It wasn't like you could just
put it out there and assume it would stay frozen all winter okay yeah i guess in recent winters
it hasn't been that consistent here either but usually it was yeah and it's definitely not worth
moving to minnesota just for the ice rink during the year you know if that's the life you want
you know like yeah that's true nothing against minnesota state hockey wonderful i true. Nothing against Minnesota. State of hockey. Wonderful.
I mean, I don't like the state of hockey thing.
Just like I don't like how Detroit calls itself Hockey Town.
Because anytime, or the fucking 12th man or the Seattle Seahawks.
Oh, fuck yourself.
Don't give yourself or your town a nickname.
That's pathetic.
Like, it's just stupid.
Like, no, you have to agree with me on that.
When people give themselves nicknames.
Like, if I just started calling myself, like, Taylor the Great. Or something like that. And I demanded other people me on that. When people give themselves nicknames, like if I just started calling myself like Taylor
the Great or something
like that and I demanded other people call me that,
that'd be inappropriate and I would be
deserving of mockery.
No, I don't agree actually. I think it's
cool and I think that
when you're there, there's a certain
like, there's numbers around you. We are
the cheeseheads. Really, that is a ridiculous
thing to call yourself. I don't know.
We all think it's pretty good.
How about it, guys?
And there they are, rooting on the Packers.
There's a tradition and a camaraderie and a feeling of same team that happens even amongst the crowd.
And it sounds like it adds to the atmosphere and enjoyment.
So there's no one hurt.
See, if you wear a cheese head,
that happened organically, I bet.
Because a bunch of people started wearing cheese heads
and they were like, hey, you guys are a bunch
of cheese heads, aren't you? Curd noggins
or whatever the fuck they say.
And then they were like, yeah, I guess we are, you know.
They're from
Wisconsin. I like to think they took an insult
and owned it.
Maybe other teams called him a cheesehead,
and they're like, well, here I am.
May as well wear cheese then.
I don't like the Seattle 12th man thing.
That's just the easiest example
because it's like you didn't do anything.
You're not all dressed like Raiders fans
where you all spent the last six hours putting on makeup
so you can go impress your guy friends.
They're like juggalos.
Which is what they do.
You put on spiky shoulder pads and you go,
I'm tough, you know, mostly.
I'm an accountant. Starting
Monday I have to get some
sales in or some shit.
12th Man, Seattle shit, it's like
that's just a way for them to sit in the crowd and be
like, I'm helping. I'm
part of the loudest crowd in America.
It's like, well, first of all, no, you're not.
The owners of your stadium built it to resonate and sound louder than it is.
If you want a really organically loud stadium built,
you want Kansas City, I've heard.
I think that's the shitty thing, though.
Those taxpayers are paying for the stadiums.
Kyle's right.
Yeah, sometimes it's shitty, and then other times I get it
because it is a way to bring in revenue.
But then you also,
you don't want the government
making business investments
because they have no,
it's just not a good idea.
They're not motivated.
Whether it makes revenue or not
is fucking irrelevant in my personal opinion
because the guys who own these teams
and build these stadiums
are not hurting for money
because they own a fucking sports team.
They build a billion dollar stadium.
You're a billionaire. You could have handled this with a check you asshole but the taxpayers some for some
reason have to foot the bill you should get free tickets if you're from that city if if they're
going to use taxpayer money like if you're an atlanta resident and you want to go to that new
brave stadium sunco park or whatever it is like you should knock 30 off my shit dude i paid into this i like the way
you think disney world does that oh that's cool yeah they have discounts for florida residents
you know what you can do at disney world there's this whole service so like if you're handicapped
you and like there's a there's a number of people that you're allowed to bring with you and a
handicapped person gets straight to the front of every line so there are services where you can go online hire yourself a handicapped person and go enjoy the day
how expensive are they I don't know yeah you've ran to you know depends how
crippled they are you can you can get a guy with a leg you get a guy with a bum
leg for about $25 an hour but if you get somebody uh-huh thinking about you
specifically get like a quadriplegic mute, oh my god, they carry you to the front of the line.
You just have to avoid dwarves.
You can't ride anyway, sir.
I didn't think of that.
He's not tall enough to...
Like 99% of the population,
like, at one point,
we're all limited by that.
Like, oh, must be this small
to get on the ride.
And those poor little people,
like, you know,
that's got to really irk them.
Say, that's got to be me
on that ride.
Ted, you're 41.
No, it's not.
Poor Peter Dinklage
is a fucking millionaire,
world-renowned actor.
He can't get on the Ferris wheel, folks.
What if they had huge platform shoes, right?
Wouldn't you be too polite to call them on that?
Nah, it's a safety issue.
Too many people die at those parks, man.
We see it all the time, and it's so gruesome for someone to die in that way.
If you see somebody die in a speedboating accident, you're like,
God, he's doing what he loved.
His adrenaline had to be at 10.
It's not that awful of a way to go out.
But you see some little girl dies on a damn roller coaster.
You're like, fuck.
She was just horrified.
She was there to have a good time.
All it took was one employee being like,
hey, you're not allowed.
You're too short.
And that would have saved someone's life, but instead some asshole has to
wear four pairs of flip-flops or some
shit, and then get on there, and then their parents
at the end are like, we know she was
three foot eight, but he let her
on anyway, and that's unacceptable.
We want lots of money.
Whatever those folks do. That's what I imagine
what those people sound like.
A topic I'm excited about.
Can I throw one more little tidbit
i don't know if i've ever told this before but i was at six flags over georgia which is now five
flags because they took the confederate flag away um and uh and there was it was five flags no fun
i think it was superman the ride it was one of the rides where you like get on like a bicycle
seat type thing and then you you pull the big thing down over yourself right
and i'm a slender guy no problem i get in there my my girl had big boobies she's right in there
no problem this beast of a woman and her like significant other try it's four people wide right
like like the each cart is if you will but the carts are suspended it's it's a it's a fun ride
she's so big that she's sitting on the thing,
and I'm looking, being very polite.
I'm not a cunt in real life.
I'm just like, oh, man, I hope she can enjoy this ride with us
because we all just sat.
She just sat in line for three hours or something.
I got the speed pass for $100, and I've been here 10 minutes.
But shit, she's sweaty as hell because she's been out in that sun,
and the guy comes over and tries to help.
And by help, I mean cram her in like you're trying to pack before an eight-day vacation he's just and like like i can see his hands like shaking with the effort he's like are you okay
are you okay she's like push harder it's not gonna go ma'am they had her boyfriend had to get the whole thing had to like it's not
like you can just undo one thing everybody's things have to go up and unlock so that her
boyfriend can get out of his so it like shut down the whole show and then there's the walk of shame
it was i didn't crack a smile if i were that boyfriend i will meet you at the bottom like it no dude you can't do that
oh come on she won't be there unless there's a snow call machine oh there's no way she has
no other options i'll catch up to her she'll never find another guy who fits on that right
yeah yeah i don't want that she's she's a water park kind of gal you know
oh wave wave pulls out of order.
Not when Betsy's on the loose, it's not.
Oh, Jesus Christ.
Now I have two topics.
Have you guys been following Boogie2899?
Yeah, he got his surgery.
He's down, I don't want to get the number wrong,
but I think it's like seven.
Is that wrong?
2988?
It's 2988, yeah.
I can't do any names. It doesn't matter.
You fight Boogie, you get the man.
Yeah, you get Boogie.
Anyway, I think he's down like 70 pounds.
And prior to Boogie, I would have told you that once a guy gets over 300, I don't notice the difference.
Like if a guy dropped from like 500 to 560 or something, that's actually going up.
But for 460, I'd be like uh good for you but you
know no he looks visibly thinner you can see a difference in him he's he's already lighter than
than wings and that's not a slight against uh wings in any way 450 pounds now no that's what
wings weighs i think right yeah that's the same ballpark oh he started at 530. He's lost 30 before the surgery.
And he's currently around 450 pounds.
Boogie is.
Bravo.
I'm glad to see you.
You're out there, man.
We are so proud of you and so happy for you.
Well done, man.
I can't wait to see you at like 275 or something.
You're going to be a holy human being.
And I don't know shit about shit.
But every time I hear about something like this, heavy people have all these aching awful injuries and it turns out that
like the real trick for it was dropping that that burden that you were carrying around you see
people's knees all of a sudden can heal because there's not so much fluid in there all the time
people's back injuries straighten up he's gonna be a an inch taller and walking around i'm so happy
not to make it about remember i got the sleep apnea machine yes uh it still helps but i don't store like i used to i'm
down 23 pounds i think it's hard to weigh myself with the cast now i'm 202 with clothes and shorts
and stuff and the cast on yes and i was 197 before so i think i'm in the same ballpark but uh um
anyway yeah i store less like there's weight loss helped boogie must have a dozen of
those with 70 pounds he says he's less comfortable dude he was i was watching his video and he's like
i don't my bed is uncomfortable my bed doesn't fit like it's supposed to it's this and that
i want to be like casper.com coupon kobe but uh anyway he finds his furniture doesn't fit right his clothes
i can see and and again i i feel like i have like a kind of retardation with regards to seeing a
difference in big people i can see his clothes are too big like i'm like that looks like a tent on
him you know like he is two sizes smaller than when he bought that shirt. And it's encouraging.
It's exciting to see.
Yeah, it's really.
Because, unfortunately, most of the time with people who struggle with weight to that extent,
it's a lot of, you know, oh, it's going to get better, it's going to get better.
And then the person usually doesn't get better, or at least oftentimes doesn't.
And so it's really fun to see boogie taking charge of it
and i had no idea he'd lost 50 fucking pounds since the surgery i thought that was only like
a month ago so that's or like three weeks ago he's three weeks ago that's yeah insane so boogie if
you're out there stick with it it's gonna be and don't buy new clothes it'll be funny don't buy new
clothes just show up every single time and and play it off like you don't know.
Well, you can buy new clothes, but don't wear them on camera.
Just stay in your giant clothes until you get all the way down and you're 220 pounds
in 500-person clothing.
That would be great.
I want to see Boogie not just lose the weight.
I want to see him get so into the health and fitness part of it
that three years from now, four years from now,
we get a really cool YouTube montage of the fattest
to an in-shape weightlifting Boogie.
That would be really, really cool.
It's transitively exciting because of how much his life is going to improve from this like you can see in real time i i don't really watch his videos very often but i
just went over to one on his channel and you're right i can totally tell he's lost weight just
this quickly like just you know go look at the thumbnails in his videos and go down like four
rows and you'll see but yeah good for him it's pretty exciting so that's one topic boogie's
killing it out there in the fitness front um hey i I want to say he's joining the PKA.
You know, we're all killing it on the fitness front.
Yeah.
I feel like I...
We should catch up on our fitness talk, by the way.
All right, I'll do mine and fast forward.
I'd done kettlebells on one leg.
Sticking to the diet, I modified it slightly.
I added some milk in there because bro science says it's good for healing bones.
I've added lots of leafy greens in there but uh generally eating clean and um how many
fetuses are you consuming a week now i understood that you were getting lamb fetuses because they
were more rich in stem cells than any other fetus except for human of course which are
uh there's a black market but let's just stick with the lamb fetuses for now i'd like to see
you get that stem cell stuff.
I appreciate you calling them fetuses
because if they knew I was actually consuming
live infants, they would think less of me.
Well, you club them over the head first
to go down easier.
And then they're dead infants.
You put the infant in a bag, you bash the bag
eight or ten times, it softens everything up.
Just suck out the amniotic fluid, whatever.
I'm eating clean. The broken leg is going to be a setback on the health thing it is but i i'm
minimizing it and trying to you know heal as fast as i can and get back at it somebody else
yeah i'm down to 160 pounds i'm i'm i'm heading back up now 160 pounds i mean i got abs going on up at the top
i told i told taylor i was like i got like a four and a half pack all right like a four and a half
pack um and uh and so i'm pretty happy that i did it this way i just sort of starved myself
dropped all like my love handles are just like like i if i looked at my silhouette like i would
step outside shirtless and the the porch lights would be behind me.
And I could see a little love handle in the shadow.
Not a big one, but I could see it.
But a noticeable one.
Now it goes in.
Now it goes in.
Now my shoulders are much wider than my hips.
And I've got kind of, not an hourglass-like feminine kind of thing, but more of a strong thing.
Yeah, and what little muscle i have it's it shows like
like like especially my shirt off it looks good i definitely uh want to add a lot more i i'm not
doing the kettlebells i've got them in my room but the other day i tried to pick up a lawnmower
like a fucking dumbass and i pulled a muscle in my back and i've done this three times in my life
this is the third time the first time i was 20 and I spent a week on the couch crying.
And then the last time was a couple years ago and it healed a lot faster.
This is almost better now, but if I move the wrong way, it feels like the left side of the center of my back where that big long muscle is.
It feels like it's just twisted.
Like it's got a torsion in it.
To help Kyle paint the picture, he was picking up a zero turn mower.
Not a little like push mower that you're supposed to use.
Yeah, not a 1950s, like...
No, I was a complete dumbass.
I was cutting the grass, and there was a blanket on the concrete,
and it just sucked it into the blades, and I was like,
oh, God, I've got to unwind this thing off there.
So I parked it on the asphalt and couldn't really get under there.
So I was like, ah, I'll just deadlift a fucking Dixie Chopper, slide this block under it for me. It didn't hurt when I parked it on the asphalt and couldn't really get under there And so I was like I'll just deadlift a fucking Dixie chopper slide this block under it for me
And it didn't hurt when I did it it didn't hurt at all it hurt the next day when I woke up
It was sore, but I was like oh, this is a little soreness
This is probably from that kettlebell routine. I did yesterday because I added a 45 pounder to like the big swings
I'm not doing single arm stuff with it like mr.lor over here who should be recast as gingery um i'm just swinging the thing around and then i got in the
shower i uh then i went and sat down at the computer and i kind of twisted a weird way
and it felt like a dagger in my back i i screamed a little it was like
and then i was like try to straighten it again it It's, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah.
So I've got one of those rollers that Joe Lozon turned us on to like six years ago up in Vermont.
It's a really hard cylinder of foam about 11 inches in diameter.
And you lay this thing on the floor and you roll yourself across it, applying your body weight to it.
It's amazing for like leg day when your thighs and your quads and even your calves and stuff are just excruciating.
You put all of your – I balance myself on like one hand or two hands
and then just the roller contacting my thigh and roll back and forth.
And it's literally wringing out the lactic acid.
It's excruciating, but afterwards you're much better.
And so I've been doing that thing six times a day to like because i feel like the muscles i don't know anything about
i don't know what a muscle pull is i i really don't but i i know what it feels like it feels
like i tore the muscle slightly and now it's really tight and it's not as uh it needs to be
stretched out it's what it feels like. I haven't been doing
push-ups because that doesn't hurt.
I've been doing a lot of
goblin squats where you hold
the kettlebell.
It's a goblin
squat if you're squatting and you go like
yee!
Something like that.
It's like how you do it.
Something like that. It's a goblet squat. Is that how you do it? Something like that.
But it's a goblet squat, is that what you're saying?
Thank you, thank you.
If you've ever read it, I always just hear those instructional videos.
So Taylor, you posted your sleeveless shirt somewhere.
Was it Twitter?
Twitter, yep.
And the crowd went wild with it.
They did.
They seemed to like that.
My fitness has been going really well.
Last weekend, though, I ate an entire large pepperoni pizza to myself on one night because I was like, I deserve this.
And so I ate way too much.
And the next morning I woke up and I was just so mad at myself.
Like, what the fuck?
The fuck?
Like, I weighed like five pounds
more because obviously you just put on a bunch of water weight you don't feel good but i'm uh
i'm at like 200 right now so i'm like right at the 200 point as far as weight i can really tell
a lot of a lot of gains in the muscle department um i look much much better in person and in on
twitter pictures i suppose than I do on PKA.
I don't do myself a lot of favors here with the lighting.
But, yeah, doing the kettlebell shit.
I've been so sore the past week or so.
It's, like, annoying to get out of bed to where, like, I'll wake up and, like, just reaching over to, like, turn the alarm off.
It's like, ah, ah's like ah ever since i switched uh so now i used to
do the one arm exercises kyle was referring to with a 35 pound and i switched that to 50 and it's
it's obviously quite a bit more yeah i do 50 pounds in each arm doing those pushes or presses
or whatever um yeah it's it's heavy. And I don't know.
I'm still really, really liking it.
I don't see myself stopping anytime soon.
I'm glad you guys aren't stopping on the quest either
because it's more fun with company.
I'm going to give me some of them
John Jones fucking Mexican supplements
is what I'm going to do.
I was reading about it.
I'll go in and try and get TRT.
Oh, I see the bruise, yeah.
And this hand too.
It's a workout to get around on crutches can you see oh i see the bruise yeah and this hand too like it's a it's a it's a workout to get around you're not supposed to walk on your hands yeah like a little stigmata thing
going on there have i saw a youtube video of like gymnasts uh talking about their hands and you know
there's gymnast women are just you think of them as the top tier of physicality you're like oh my
god what what could she do remember when jerry seinfeld top tier of physicality. You're like, oh my God, what could she do?
Remember when Jerry Seinfeld dated the gymnast?
You're like, oh my God, I bet she could do that thing,
like a scorpion bend backwards,
and I could just do crazy things, right?
Then you see their hands, and you're like,
if that bitch touched my cock, it would bleed.
There's sandpaper with these big, bloody calluses on them,
and these chicks are like,
they're like, I usually don't like to show guys my hands.
And the guys are all like,
women always hate my hands,
especially my pinky.
And his pinky was all fucked.
My fingers are fucked,
but I can make them look normal if I want.
I can present them well.
This guy has no choice but to be all fucking mangled.
He's like this all the time.
Right?
Look at that shit.
Yeah. I at that shit.
You should run into public places every so often and just be like,
I stuck my hand in the
checkout machine.
Take that thing, turn it palm up.
That middle finger's a
French tickler right there. We got it.
We got a damn red box.
I've had so many girls
talk about this.
They're like, always embarrassed about it.
They're like, and your fingers.
They do things that normal fingers don't.
And I'm like, oh yeah, I know.
They can get in there.
They're all fucked.
You keep talking about it when I say that I really like it,
but then you just move it in upsetting and disturbing ways.
Please stop. My grandpa lost a it in upsetting and disturbing ways. Please stop.
My grandpa lost a finger in a
thresher. That's called a swan
neck deformity. That's why my hands do that.
It's the tendon that should be keeping the
finger straight is way too long and loose,
so it just allows it to go into
the negative realm as it is there.
And they... just all the way around.
Does it impact things other
than your hands? Like, does your knee bend backwards yeah yeah uh my knees bend backwards and i can pop my knees like um
i can uh pull my knee here and like bend this joint like it's a knuckle like my knee like like
you know you pop your knuckle you bend it down i can pop my knees they let me see if i can make it
do it for the camera for like audio I'm a little
nervous
yeah that yeah it's my knee like a quiet fart but I believe that's my knee like
everything and then I can walk on my toes on concrete and shit it's it's dude
I hate that I remember the time you did that we were at that uh paintball event like seven years six years ago now and you were like i can walk on
my toes i just remember being like don't feel obligated to and then you just like hopped up
like it was like that and it was just looking at it was like the fuck like you're gonna break all
of your toes off and the thing is
like like i don't transition to it like a bitch either like i pop up on onto it yeah on a concrete
and stuff it freaks people out that's why i remembered it you doing it is because you did
like a michael jackson's like thriller thing backward so that you you you balanced out right
but um yeah i can stand on my toes like fists and run around on concrete shit i don't think any cool double-jointed shit.
I don't think.
There's no such thing as double-jointed.
It's just flexibility.
Because if you're double-jointed, you'd be like a fucking mantis or alien or something with back-bending knees or something crazy.
There's not an extra joint.
It's just the tendons are just too long.
It's a swan neck deformity.
I only learned that last year Googling, trying to figure out what was wrong with me.
I mean, truly, in the world of deformities,'s like a plus yeah that's not that bad yeah it's like uh you can be born with a an eye that's three inches lower than the other one or you can bend your fingers pretty weird
so i'm gonna re-up on the finger thing thank you yeah after that you start going to the positive
like yeah my deformity is lots of testosterone and long yeah i've got the long dick deformity is lots of testosterone and long hair. I've got the long dick deformity.
Gigantism.
Although gigantism makes you look like a real freak of nature.
Yeah, gigantism is a real deformity.
I don't think anybody would want that.
Not unless you're going to be a fighter.
You get these gross head bone
protrusions and your hands get
nasty and it hurts to bend your
knuckles. No fun there.
And you don't even become a real giant. So it's to like bend your knuckles no fun there and you don't even become like a real
giant so it's not like you're like oh man like i'm on the clock now i'm gonna be you know terrorizing
villages in a few short years no no it's like you're still if you're five nine and you get
gigantism as an adult guess what you are a dwarf of a giant my friend you But you have a big fucking pen. He got a horse's head off with one blow.
He took a woman, and then he took them again.
And the children, he covered them in pitch and set them afire.
And Ned Stark's up there like, dear God.
All right, let me do it.
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Johnny, give yourself a raise.
You were saying?
John Jones has really let us all down, right?
Like, I think you're a John Jones guy.
I'm out now.
Like, I was a little bit of a John Jones guy.
I definitely was pulling for DC.
I was definitely pulling for DC as well.
But it almost seemed inevitable that a new champion had showed up.
And I feel like had he not gotten popped for this, he'd have kept going and just cleared out the division.
And he'd have gotten his Lesnar fight next year too.
Now, if he wants to fight Lesnar, it's going to be in the WWE.
That's the only way that shit happens.
And I wouldn't put that past him because he's going to get at least two years,
maybe four for this. Can I start from the beginning?
So, for those people who don't know, Jon Jones
of the UFC, he's a 205 pound
champion. Recently took the belt
from DC. They took it away from him.
And he had been busted for
I've been calling it steroids.
What he was actually busted for
there were two things in his system. I remember
one of them was it helped your body make more testosterone and it was often used for there were two things in his system i remember one of them was it helped
your body make more testosterone and it was often used for people coming off of cycles because you
know if you take testosterone then your body stops producing it by itself and this was the thing to
sort of get your body to produce testosterone again it's illegal it's banned it's a performance
enhancing drug and people were like giving me a really hard time cursing me out like like gamers
would you know what are you fucking retard you don't know what the fuck you're talking about
you said he was on steroids he was actually on something that helps steroids people reproduce
testosterone again whatever the guy's on roids we know he is he was just busted uh coming off a
cycle so now he was busted on something it's it's a metabolite that your body produces when you're on steroids.
Do you remember what it's called? Like Turnable or something?
It's like Tribinol or something. It is a steroid manufactured in Germany.
It's not an anabolic steroid or something.
They said – I'm not an expert in steroids or anything. I know a little bit about them.
But what they said is that this one – some of the features of this drug would be that there weren't going to be any
gyneoplasty type side effects.
You're not going to get bitch tits.
You're not going to have the issues that traditionally can come along to Rhinobal.
And they said that it was good for adding lean muscle mass and maintaining it.
It's a steroid.
This isn't like Clomid. This isn't like Clomid.
This isn't an estrogen blocker.
This isn't like a diuretic,
which they ban because
diuretics are used to get the bad stuff out of your
system so you don't get caught,
so it's illegal as well.
This is an actual steroid that he's been popped for.
And it's his pre-fight
piss test, I believe, or blood test,
however they do it.
I know he's got to give the belt back, which I hope makes DC the champ,
and they don't do some interim bullshit to him.
I heard that.
What I want to know, because I believe DC got a million dollars flat to fight that fight,
and I think Jon Jones got half a million or $600,000 or something like that.
I'm curious as to how much of Jon Jones' money
is going to go to Daniel Cormier
because I want good things for Daniel Cormier
and an extra half a million dollars would be real nice.
Yeah, I don't...
Chiz put a list in here of things.
Let me read it off.
Having his victory against Cormier overturned,
forfeiture of his purse. That's huge.
Forfeiture of his title.
Also huge.
Four years of ineligibility imposed by USADA,
a $500,000 UFC fine,
a CSAC imposed suspension.
I'm not sure what the California sports athletic commission,
I think,
um,
a fine of up to 40% of his purse imposed by CSAC,
a potential civil lawsuit by Cormier by Cormier for alleging battery.
That's interesting.
Yeah.
Because he's cheating.
There's something to be said for that.
Like, he might not have landed that head kick against Cormier's skull if he wasn't on steroids.
Like, you shouldn't be able to.
Absolutely.
This is a combat sport.
I really, really dislike it.
Yeah. What do you hope happens what you're you're you're the uh you're usada or whoever makes this decision what do you
what do you lay down on john jones uh all these things what we just mentioned i think that all
you have to pick and choose because one of them is like he loses 40 of his purse and another is
he forfeits his purse um i don't think so forfeiture of his purse so
that's all of it a fine of up to 40 of his purse imposed by c-sec so it looks like um these are
different organizations that are both fining him but i do see that we're going into the negative i
i see where you're headed on that it could be either or but the way i read this like a 500 000 fine
40 for friends of his first by the california state athletic commission forfeiture of his purse
by usada like like all these people are penalizing him i don't know i do see where you're coming from
they look like they're redundant uh i hope he loses what i really want is for his purse to go to Cormier. That's what should happen. That's what happens if you miss weight.
20%.
20%.
Actually, it depends on the state, and it depends on if it's your first time.
But 20% is a good estimate.
And, yeah, I would like to see his purse go to Cormier.
I would like to see Cormier get that money.
Everyone loves Cormier.
1.5.
Yeah.
I want Cormier to get all of his loves Cormier. 1.5. Yeah. I want Cormier to get
all of his money because he doesn't deserve a dime
after that.
I don't think Daniel Cormier
will sue him, but I would certainly understand
if he did because that guy came in
there. It's the equivalent of
I think they used to do
stuff to boxing gloves to make them more
hard hitting, like maybe put lead inside
of them.
Maybe it's Million Dollar Baby where the box is talking about the guy who had a thumbtack
in the thumb, and he was punching holes in his cheek the whole time.
I think maybe Morgan Freeman's telling that story, but he was black, so nobody would look
out for him in the ring.
I think it's the equivalent of that.
This guy's coming in there juiced to the gills.
He's on steroids.
He's enhancing his physicality.
And it's not like this was a, you know, he choked him out.
This wasn't a decision.
He kicked that man in the skull so hard that he went unconscious and then pounded him into the ground.
He's got a case there.
I want to lay out a little bit more.
So John Jones, like we said, he's been caught for drugs associated with steroids and for coming off a cycle.
for drugs associated with steroids and with coming off a cycle.
The first time he fought Corbier,
he had testosterone levels
like of an 11-year-old girl.
You know, it's supposed to be a one-to-one ratio.
That's what people would have.
This guy is a 27 or 28-year-old
professional athlete at the time.
And it was like 0.23 or 0.28 to one.
Like not something...
Corbier's was a little low too. It was like 0.7 to one or something like 1. Like, not something... Corvina's was a little low, too.
It was like 0.7 to 1 or something like that.
But one, he was older. He was like
37, I forget. Banner.
And they go
down, apparently, when you train intensively.
But they don't go down to what John
Jones... You would not have an 11-year-old girl's
testosterone level if you're
an elite athlete at John Jones' age.
Is it... Are you referring to i
don't know is it the ratio of testosterone to estrogen that we're talking about this one-to-one
okay thank you yeah yeah that i don't know if i said that the te ratio and um so he had a highly
suspicious test but they kind of let it slide because they didn't find any actual steroids in
his system yeah um and then they found the steroid thing he used to recover from the cycle. And now they found actual steroids in his system.
And I was listening to jail son and talk about it.
And he's like,
in terms of steroids,
the thing Jones was taking is like seventh best,
you know,
it's not the top one.
He's like,
but Jones is tied into it.
He's like,
I saw that guy do it.
The way in Jones would take before camp pictures of himself and he's fat
and he's soft and he doesn't look good and then he would take finish of his camp and be like look at
my transformation look at the hard work I put in the jail is like you're fooling those people but
not a smart mark like me a wrestling term for people who get it and uh he's like I could look
at you and tell you which steroids you're taking. You have just outed yourself.
That's not what training camp transformations look like.
You went from a non-athlete to a professional athlete in 12 weeks.
No, you didn't.
You're on steroids.
You outed yourself.
And he says, I saw you use steroids.
Yeah, Chael considers himself an expert in this.
He's like, I know.
I'm a smart mark.
I'm the guy.
He's like, I can tell you.
When I fought John Jones, I was juiced to the gills. He's like, I had more I'm a smart mark. I'm the guy. He's like, I can tell you, when I fought Jon Jones, I was juiced to the
gills. He's like, I had more juice in me
than Tropicana, was his line.
And he's like, and that guy still pushed
me around. He was on the juice too.
Chael Sundin was saying that he out of himself,
he could see it, he knew it, but he was talking to Gilbert
Melendez, and he's like, I guess he found a way, because he's
tied in, right? And at the MMA
level, sometimes guys maybe don't have access to the same experts that like a
baseball player would or a football player would.
But John Jones has two brothers in the NFL where the big money is,
where people like,
you know,
pull their resources and get the best of the best stuff.
And he's like,
so John's used the kills.
I can see it.
I can see it just by the eye test,
but I guess he found a way,
you know, he's not that stupid, is he?
Ah, apparently he is.
And one of his key points was like, if this guy was on Turnable, my money is he's on five other things too.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, you can't put it past him.
That's just how it works.
You know, you kind of have.
He didn't take one drug.
He had a cocktail in there.
Yeah, from my research, it's a cocktail.
It's a cocktail because you're really messing with your body's hormone levels,
and you have to correct those levels.
But from the brief reading I did about that specific steroid,
it seemed like he said seventh best.
It seemed to me that it was indeed not one of the more strong steroids,
but one of the ones that's in and out of your system quicker.
And I think I saw chael say something like he would have had to have like shot up like that week
you know like what was i did some reading on this and uh apparently this drug i think it came out of
germany and the guy that provided the drug to people also provided the test on how to catch
people with it like the metabolites that your body makes that go with it.
So what happened was he found a better drug
and then his people stopped using it
and he released how to catch it to the people like USADA
so that all their competitors would get busted for that drug.
Does that make sense?
It does.
His people moved on past it
and then he's like, here's how to catch all our competitors.
And now they can find this stuff in your system like a month out, I think it was.
So very difficult to beat that test now because they have an enhanced USADA test.
So disappointed in that.
Why don't they test them before the fight because they want to make the money for the fight regardless?
They did, but they didn't get the results back.
Oh, yeah. until like now or i don't know if the who knows when the results
when like someone knew but so basically are they basically like it seemed like i don't know
anything about mma or ufc or how it works but it seems like this is the way that you would release
information on doping and steroids if you kind of wanted to keep it from sullying the reputation of the sport.
Like, they're trying to be like,
oh, and they're being tested for it,
so this fight's going to be legit.
Oh, the fight happened.
All right, two weeks later,
nobody's talking about it anymore.
Four weeks after that,
nobody's certainly talking about it.
Everybody's on to the next fight.
Oh, by the way,
that one guy from, like, forever ago,
he cheated again.
Well, if you saw it,
it's a separate independent it's a separate independent
agency um so so i don't know i i'm glad there is a usada keeping those guys in check but but
clearly not keeping john jones in check and it didn't protect daniel cormier did it
yeah like what if he killed cormier he wrote that's why you have mark hunt suing the ufc and
dana white on top of lesnar for racketeering, fraud, battery, and civil conspiracy.
So Mark Hunt fought like, I don't want to exaggerate, it was four or five steroid abusers in a row.
He fought Bigfoot, he fought Lesnar, he fought Overeem, and maybe, I don't remember them all.
But he's like, my gosh, every time I fight a guy, that other guy's on steroids.
It's ridiculous. them all but he's like my gosh like every time i fight a guy that other guy's on steroids it's
ridiculous and then he's saying that like and like brock lesnar in particular they bent the rules so
that he wasn't tested before he fought mark hunt like normally they make you like enter the pool
six months before a fight but for lesnar they're like ah come on and you can fight mark hunt and
then he busts positive for steroids mark hunt is Hunt is like, what the heck? Did Mark Hunt
lose all these fights?
Most of them, I think, against the
steroid users. It's pretty tough to beat
a guy on roids. And Brock Lesnar
is a good example. Anyway, now he's
suing. He still fights in the UFC. He's like,
look, I need money. But
he wanted all of Lesnar's money. And I thought,
sounds fair.
Yeah. Lesnar's got so much fucking thought, sounds fair. Yeah. You know?
Yeah, Lesnar's got so much fucking WWE money,
he doesn't even notice the account with the UFC stuff in it.
I don't know that he shouldn't get more than the purse.
He wants the purse, and that seems fair, right? Lesnar's purse was big.
He's a huge draw.
But I'm like, dude, if someone on steroids goes in there
and batters you in the cage, is it insane to sue him personally?
This isn't a ball sport, right?
This is a punching on the head sport.
Absolutely.
Just curious, would you extend that to the NFL?
So let's say there's some linebacker out there.
Hold on.
Let's say there's a linebacker out there who's on roids to the gills,
jacked beyond belief,
and he tackles some guy so hard
that he cripples him.
And it's only because he's so powerful and strong
that he was able to hit him from the back like that
or something like that.
Would you put that into the same category?
The only time I would
is if it were the kind of hit
that would be a foul. Like if it's a uh the kind of hit that would be a foul like if it's
a head-on head collision that was that was unnecessary or something if it appeared that
the hit was dirty and then you found out that not only was it a dirty hit but it's a dirty player
and the other guy is like fucked then that's a different situation but everybody in the nfl is
on steroids or something they're all bloodping. They're all on steroids.
They're all on all kinds of shit, and that's how I like it.
I think the NBA too.
The NBA is a better example of where I'm like,
you don't sue a guy personally for NBAs. Dunking on you.
Yeah, for dunking on me.
It's a different thing.
Yeah, but nobody gets super hurt in the NBA.
Taylor makes a good argument.
Does it extend to the NFL?
How about the NHL?
I can see where
you're going with that. What do you do when you pick up that dead
guy and he's just as juiced as the
killer? Then it's
a wash. Yeah, then it's a push. Oh, is it?
See, that's when it's not fair. That's when the house keeps the money.
Yeah.
I just strongly believe that
everybody at that level is cheating.
You know, because you just have
to be and you can't blame them.
It's almost not cheating because it's an even playing field.
When I read it, it was so unfair to DC to me.
Like, if Jones wasn't on steroids, I think DC wins that fight.
Who knows, but that's what I think.
And DC is never crying in the octagon.
He's never embarrassed, right?
He's not interviewed while crying by Joe Rogan
after having been
knocked out saying things that weren't right he does you know like he embarrassed himself a little
bit because he got mad that the he thought the ref stopped the fight too early yeah he was wrong he
was very wrong but he didn't have a clear recollection of what just happened right he got
knocked out and uh and that was like everyone kind of people give dc a hard time even though
he's a good guy.
Man, none of that should have happened.
He was up against a guy who was cheating.
And he's eating fried chicken and cupcakes.
Like that's his secret fuel.
His fucking KFC.
And this guy is up there on Terreno Ball.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So anyway, I don't know where else there is to go.
That's the Babe Ruth argument.
He's terrible.
I remember hearing people say like babe ruth did this shit on chili
dogs cigars and beer like barry bonds is out there with the clear and the cream and and like
european scientists like tinkering on him like he's ivan drag drago or whatever yeah it is weird
how that's changed and like wayne gretzky used to eat two hot dogs with relish and mustard and
drink a diet coke and drink a Gatorade and drink a water between
every period. So he's eaten multiple
hot dogs every day. Wait, how many hot dogs is that?
That's four hot dogs. After the first period
and after the second period. Oh, that's no big deal.
I mean, that's, you're doing a lot of moving,
especially fucking Gretzky, because it was always
like, hey, should Gretzky come off? Are you high?
No. Like, leave him out there.
It's fucking Wayne Gretzky. Give him another chili dog.
Yeah, give him another chili dog.
But, like, if that happened nowadays in an NBA or NHL or NFL locker room,
they're like, this is just what I do.
I just enjoy two hot dogs and a Diet Coke after every period.
They're like, oh, do you?
Not unless you want to be out on the streets and with no job, you fuck.
You're going to have a Clif Bar and a giant jug of Gatorade is what you're going to have.
Like, that just, it wouldn't fly.
Like, there are pictures you can find of, I think, baseball dugouts
or, you know, any sport from, like, the 50s.
And it's like, between action, these guys are smoking.
Yeah.
They're smoking.
Like, can you?
Performance in the answer.
I mean, not at all.
Absolutely.
Nicotinibs, yeah.
Sure, for baseball, yeah.
Look it up.
Oh, okay, baseball, that actually makes some sense.
Oh, that's why now that actually makes some sense.
Oh, that's why now they can't do chewing tobacco anymore, right?
And it's just pretty fucking gross, if you ask me.
It's a bad influence. I think a lot of people idolize them, and you don't want them to start chewing.
Is everyone here familiar with John Daly, the golfer?
Yes.
Yeah, I watched that clip from the other day,
where he was just going through how unhealthy and awful his life...
You can describe it. You go ahead.
So John Daly smokes, drinks, and eats candy.
His weight has fluctuated over his career,
but this is a guy who won the British Open.
This is no slouch.
This is a top-tier golfer of all time, really.
He fits in there with all the greats.
This guy would smoke two packs of cigarettes a day.
I heard a story that he told about 50 cigarettes a day, Chiz.
I heard a story that he was telling Stern,
and I'm probably getting some of the details wrong,
but I want to say that he was at this.
They're like, didn't you go to this course in New Jersey,
drink an entire case of beer, and break the course record.
He's like, yeah, I did that.
Like, how many packs of M&M's would you say you eat a day?
Oh, hell, four or five.
I love them peanut M&M's.
Well, how many muffins?
Well, what kind of muffin?
He's like eating muffins and drinking beer and smoking cigarettes on the course.
And, of course, the PGA wants to put someone like Tiger Woods out there.
Remember Woods in his prime wearing those athletic shirts?
And he'd be mid-stroke and they'd have the freeze frame.
And he's just ripped.
He's just ripped in a way you didn't even know golfers needed to be.
And then John Daly's out there with that belly.
John Daly can hit that ball so fucking hard.
He can drive that thing like 520 yards or some shit.
I don't know what the exact number is.
But the interviewer asked him, they're like,
what's your longest drive?
Oh, New York to L.A.
That's a good answer.
When he hits it, it fucking disappears.
It's really cool to see someone.
He's like the, who's that UFC fighter with the big belly?
Big Country Nelson. really cool to see someone he's like the um who's who's that ufc fighter with the big belly i'm i'm big country nelson yeah he's a big country nelson of golf i love seeing that i like to see the guy
who like has so much talent or whatever it is that makes him be able to do that and just not
give a fuck about anything else like yeah i stumble out of bed hung over and and and did this
now john jones would
would say that he's like last time i beat you i was i was i'd been up all night doing cocaine
and strippers and i still whipped your ass and what he doesn't add on is and diana ball and
clomid and and a little blood doping and like like he doesn't throw that out there too here's
the version of that guy in the NHL.
His name's Phil Kessel, and he looks like a high school janitor,
but he is one of the best hockey players in the world, and he is quick.
It doesn't make any sense because his body screams, I pick up banana peels for minimum wage thrown by rowdy kids.
But the way he plays says i make nine million
dollars a year or whatever it is so it's pretty pretty cool you're right i do like that especially
i like that john daly pic that chiz just linked with him uh him just not a good body type not a
good body type at all but i typed it in so it takes like five minutes to smoke a cigarette right okay is that a safe assumption
yeah so he smokes 50 cigarettes a day five minutes per cigarette and this is not even
counting the fact that he's not standing outside all at once smoking all these cigarettes he's
walking places back and forth to go smoke i assume he gets on the car that's when he plays
he has to walk that's four hours and ten minutes spent smoking cigarettes every
day.
That's half as much time as he
spends sleeping, if that part of his life
is healthy.
Can you imagine that?
How do you have the time to smoke 50 cigarettes a day?
What are you doing?
I love his alternative. Oh, golfing, I guess.
It depends what state you're...
He's in the south somewhere, so probably $5 to $6 a pack.
I meant how many cigarettes are in a pack.
20.
Oh, okay.
Yeah, because he smokes two and a half packs a day, so 50.
He's got this very big, nice house, and it's on a golf course that he owns.
It's his private golf course.
But he sleeps outside in his camper.
It's a shitty golf course.
He's got a motorhome with a California king bed
and it turned sideways, so he's like
his head isn't facing the front
or rear of the vehicle. It's the other way.
Big TV at the foot of it.
Big thing of liquor over there
and glasses. He's like, why would I sleep
indoors? I've got everything I want out here.
He travels
the country in that motorhome it's he's
i dig it i like john daly uh his stern interview was excellent i have yeah seems like a likable guy
yeah what's your topic have you been following the h3h3 lawsuit no i have no i i know i know
who that is i will lay this out so it's ethan and it's Ethan, and I'm going to mess up her name.
Hila?
Hila?
It's not an everyday name.
And they're a married couple, and they have a great YouTube channel.
I've seen dozens of their videos.
And what they did a couple years ago, they got a video by a guy named Matt Haas, and they kind of mocked it.
Matt Haas and they kind of mocked it. He, if I remember the video right, Matt Haas like comes upon this girl and she's like, you know, you can date me if you can catch me. And he chases her
around and he combines like parkour with pickup and it's really silly and they mock it and whatever.
I don't love mocking videos typically, but I will say H3H3 sticks to people who are kind of strong.
You know,
like it's one thing to mock like the president or a 35 year old wealthy guy
or something like it's another thing to mock like an 11 year old trying to
learn to sing,
you know?
So,
so that's H3H3,
you know,
they don't really pick on the vulnerable and they tease Matt Haas there.
They take clips of this, like pick up a girl using mediocre parkour skills and uh it dispersed that
with their own like reaction to it that sounds pretty funny they do a really good job they're
funny people and um so matt haas fire filed a copyright claim against them. And they did like a counter thing and they lost like on the YouTube front.
So then it goes to court and he sues them for three things.
I hope I get this right.
One of them is for copyright infringement because pieces of Matt Hoss's video were in the H3H3 video.
They were.
in the H3H3 video. They were. Another one is for libel because he said like nothing can happen for months when in reality in that period of time Matt Hoss had sent an email.
And another one was for... Oh, I forget. Some sort of technicality having to do with saying
they didn't actually copyright it. Like that was a double. They won on all three cases and I wasn't sure
they were going to win. A lot of people claim fair use and they over claim fair use. Like a
good example is like, I thought they might lose because I know in music how it works. If you take
one note from a song, you can play it again yourself. If I try to play a note the same way
Taylor did, then I'm in the clear. But if I take one note from Taylor's
song, then that's copyright infringement and we have to work out some part of my profits go to
him, right? That's how that works. So in the video world, I thought maybe the same thing happened.
You know, if I take, that video might've been half Hoss's video, making that up, but it's not
a terrible estimate. Half of it was h3h3 original content and
half of it was you know the content that they were mocking and i'm like man i don't know if
they're gonna win this and i don't know if they should because i don't think it's always great
for like one guy just like i can't just take your video put it on my channel add some seasoning to
it and you know say that it's an original piece.
The lawsuit did a really good job of, like,
differentiating between what H3H3 does, which is, like,
take not your entire video but, like, a piece of it and then add to it.
And they said that, like, if I did it to Kyle's video, for example,
what they made was not a substitute for Kyle's video.
It was a different thing and an original piece of work using his.
Whereas there are other kinds of reaction videos that are kind of group viewing sessions, you know, where I take Kyle's video and then just laugh every now and then.
Or, you know, kids react.
Yeah, kids react.
Or I guess that's just that's not even the people who own the channel.
That's just people that they conscripted and, you know, gave a shiny nickel to to sit there and do that for a while.
So that was a good example of free use?
Yeah.
Fair use. Kidzriak, I don't know. I don't know where that would fit in because they, don't they take your entire video in Kidzriak? No, theyH3 OK. But you might not be familiar with it.
There are YouTube channels that actually really thrive
by taking outstanding content,
putting their face in the top left corner,
and watching this outstanding content.
And once you see it, like I've watched,
there's a particularly good white basketball player
who dresses up really nerdy and challenges people to play.
Oh, I've seen that.
Won't be once.
No, but I love the professor too.
Now, this guy, you wouldn't know him.
He's not famous.
I don't watch a lot of freestyle groups videos.
This guy's not famous, but he's like a 6'5 white guy.
He dresses up like a silly golfer.
And he's like, hey, guys hey guys can i play and he looks all
weird and then you see him playing and within seconds even a non-player like me can be like oh
i see what he's doing here i love that this is like um woody harrelson and white men can't jump
yeah oh what a great movie yeah he kind of does that anyway their reaction videos and people just
like it's a substitute
for the original video.
Now that I've seen this guy go,
oh yeah, well that's what he does, I can see it,
that's what this guy does,
I don't need to see the original.
It's just a group viewing session,
and the court did a great job of differentiating
between taking your content and adding to it
and turning it into something different.
Maybe something that would even turn me on
to seeing the original video as
opposed to a group viewing session,
which they're like,
that is not fair use.
Like,
or maybe they said they had no opinion on it,
but they definitely didn't clear that too.
And,
uh,
it was a huge win for H3H3 and it's not,
um,
Oh,
so it's over.
It just ended like today,
I think.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And,
uh,
today or yesterday.
And,
um, it's, it's a big win for like today, I think. Yeah. Yeah. And today or yesterday. And it's a big win for, like, fair use on YouTube in general.
And it's a way that, not that my opinion matters, I like.
Like, it's one thing to take content and turn it into something different,
and it's another thing to do, like, a group viewing session,
which is not as cool because that that's dealing from the content you know
what i really like i i don't mean to change the subject necessarily but but but i like undercover
experts in anything i like it when someone is like like i've seen uh a black belt a world-class
black belt jujitsu go in and put he puts his white belt on he ties it wrong and everything yeah yeah
he's smart about it although he showed too much skill right away just just fucking tapping purple belts like it's nothing and just
like rolling them and flipping them into positions where they're just like what did you just do to me
like like everybody was getting wise to it i've been watching a ton of gordon ramsay lately uh
and like yeah yeah yeah and uh and gordon ramsay Ramsay, who's the famous Michelin star chef, he will put on a
full prosthetic suit, like a fake face that you have to peel off, like a wig, big belly, the whole
nine. And then he'll take a cooking course from one of his former students or something. And
everybody's learning to make pasta. And making pasta by hand is very difficult there's a there's a bit of like stretching it and there's there's all these techniques to it
and then actually forming the pasta if you're doing rotini or something is is a whole thing
he's over there just like all the students are like it it's like it looks like a play-doh factory
they're just making messes and he's over there flipping this shit and fucking slicing and dicing
and like there's a part where they're separating a chicken and he he adds a little voiceover he's like only a world-class michelin star chef could
separate a chicken like that let's see if she notices and the teacher's like oh you did a
perfect job see everyone look like she takes it as a compliment to herself like see he gets truly
am a good teacher yeah yeah that's the takeaway takeaway. Gordon's over there talking to the other students.
He's like, did you know she trained under Gordon Ramsey?
He's a dick.
They're like, yeah, I don't really care for his attitude.
But it's him the whole time.
Undercover boss, to a lesser extent, is cool like that.
But I especially like it when these guys have talent,
when these guys are professionals at a sport.
I've seen the undercover hockey guy. goes in um to like a beer league but now it's an nhl player goes into like beer
league hockey or something like forrestberg oh philip forrestberg he goes into like beer
and he's just fucking fucking carving them apart and everybody's like what is he doing he's doing
like trick stuff and like skating around them and dishing it through their legs and
stuff and clowning on them i i really like that because hey one yes did you see the connor
mcgregor one fake not be a bodybuilder connor mcgregor yes i gotta find him chis would you
i i wouldn't ask but i gotta like lean forward and do all kinds of stuff and this laptop's being
shitty will you find the fake connor mcgregor video for us and I'll kind of lay out what's going on. This guy
is a bodybuilder. Ah, there you go.
Chiz is the man. This guy's clearly
much, much bigger than Conor McGregor.
Alright,
there's a bit of music on it.
It looks like he time-stamped it around 58
seconds like a beast, so I'm there.
Oh man, that guy's got an
incredible back. Look at that V.
Yeah, are you watching it? No back. Look at that V. Yeah.
Wait, are you watching it?
That takes a lot of work.
No, I'm not watching it. I've got it paused, but you can just see this man's massive. I'll start wherever you want.
I'm at 58.
I'm at 59.
Okay.
Ready, set, play.
He's got the Connor cadence of the walk down perfectly. Like the hard footfalls straight down.
I need to show it to the audience.
Sorry, audience.
So they put a fake beard and nose and glasses
and they do the
tattoos as well.
Look at these jack guys on what I'm guessing
is like Venice Beach or something.
Or Muscle Beach, whatever they call it.
They're so impressed with his physique.
They're like, damn, Conor's been working out.
Look at this.
This guy's much more physical than Conor.
And he probably weighs 220 or something.
Oh, my God.
Yeah.
I've seen Conor do these on rings, but not like this.
Look at this.
Sorry, world.
I'm doing a poor job.
Oh, my God.
Dude, if Mayweather saw this video, he might back out.
He can't read the title!
I really am fucked.
Holy shit, he looks like a heavyweight.
That guy's three inches taller than the last time I saw him.
That's 154? He's gonna make 154?
Yeah.
He's gonna cut off one of his feet or something. There's 154 pounds He's going to make 154? Yeah. He's going to cut off one of his feet or something.
There's 154 pounds of muscle on that man.
Yeah, that guy is a monster.
And everybody thinks it's Conor.
Everybody.
For the listeners, he's doing those crazy workouts,
like gymnastic-style workouts.
He's got one hand on one hand on each bar
and he's leveling out his entire
body, suspending his body and doing
unsupported push-ups with just hands.
He's moving
his own body weight around like it's nothing.
And he's got a posse, of course.
He's got like, you know, if you're
going to be a UFC fighter, you need at least
four other
pretty strong looking guys around you so
you kind of have the like the okay i bet like they're all on the same team they school together
or whatever like i if i saw this guy i might have believed it was mcgregor until until my eagle ears
caught that his accent you know eagle ears eagles don't have good ears you had me going i just assumed yeah if you skip to like six minutes
and 40 seconds you'll see like him taking the makeup and shit off or you close it whatever
yeah it's not that important yeah it's pretty cool pretty guy's so jacked but he pulled off
a convincing conor mcgregor uh especially with the fake tattoos and everything he's got the
and the camera man that the hair he's got he's done everything he's got the beard and the hair cut
cameraman that the hair he's got he's done it he's pulled the look off but he's just way too
jacked he's huge that's like those are the craziest workouts like those gymnastic ones
you were saying where you you get yourself up and you pull your whole body up and push it and
contort it and you're holding like that that takes such an insane amount of strength i don't even
know where you begin with joe lozon crank them out they're called muscle ups that's when you
pull yourself up and then transition it's almost like a reverse power clean kind of move that's
super impressive too i was meaning like the two bar thing he was doing oh yeah like up and then
flips his whole body and is holding it up like just a weird arm i don't know
yeah i can go up and come down and then go up and come down and then after a few of holding it up like just a weird arm i don't know yeah i can go up and come down
and then go up and come down and then after a few of those it's like oh man like this probably to
anyone watching looks lame as fuck and this is tough hard those are called dips yes yes i know
i have a topic i saw this and thought, this is a Taylor topic.
Did you catch Amy Schumer asking for more money from Netflix?
I did not.
I need to see this article.
Was the fact that they changed the rating system
for that unfunny chick not enough?
No, no, no.
At first, she was asking to be paid as much as Chris Rock and Dave Chappelle,
but she decided she could make a lot more money if she were paid per pound so they're doing that now they're doing that now
they pay for her like netflix is broke uh netflix owes her 850 billion dollars now let me lay out
the truth so she was paid 11 million dollars for her special called the leather special that's the
one where she wore that tight leather outfit and did her comedy routine she found out that chris rock and dave chappelle were paid 20 million dollars for their
routines and she's thought aha this is not based on merit chris rock and dave chappelle no funnier
than amy schumer clearly this is a gender wage gap issue so she came at netflix and said that
she wants to be paid as much as the boys are because she's just as funny
as...
So I have a question. I didn't watch Schumer's
Netflix special. I've seen excerpts
of it on YouTube. Was it one
hour or was it two?
Because the decision...
I think it's only an hour.
Well then fuck her. She's getting paid
more than Dave Chappelle and Chris Rock
because they gave two hours and they got, and she got 11 for one.
It's not about how much time they're doing it.
It's about the fact that everybody in the country knows and likes Chris.
Fuck, this show's four hours.
We don't get 20 million.
Yeah, no.
But the difference is every single person, if you ask anyone in the country,
like, hey, how do you feel about Dave Chappelle and Chris Rock?
99.9% of them are going to go, oh, yeah, I know who that is and I like them.
I think they're funny.
They're enjoyable.
Like Amy Schumer, you ask everyone in the country,
a lot of people aren't going to know who she is, first of all.
And a lot of people, probably just as many as do like her,
are going to say, oh, no.
No, she's awful.
Her comedy isn't my style at all.
It's a lot of vagina jokes and
pretend self-loathing, but it's
not really self-loathing because it's wrapped in a
facade of, like, I'm also attractive and I
fuck all the time. So it's like that
annoying... Who is this?
What did you just link? That's a good picture. Oh, there's Amy Schumer
wearing nothing but, like, I mean
barely underwear, like a
see-through thong and
yeah, she's got nice legs there.
That's a good picture.
I'm not sure that there hasn't been some Photoshop applied,
but that's a good picture of her.
I mean, but I don't really give a fuck about that.
Yeah, I don't care about that either.
It's just...
Yeah, what does Rot look like naked?
Does anyone know?
All these...
And you know what?
Nobody cares.
Not a bit.
Like this...
I read through this to see... I read through this to see the comparisons they were making. Not a bit. In comedy, being fat is not bad.
I read through this to see the comparisons they were making.
And this just shameless... You have to be stupid to read an article like this and be like,
well, it is a good thing that she renegotiated.
She deserved more money.
No, the examples they're using are Chris Hemsworth was getting paid more than Charlize Theron.
And then Charlize Theron renegotiated and got paid more.
And then Emily Rossum, whoever that is,
negotiated to get paid more because William H. Macy
was being paid more than her.
Because, of course, when you say William H. Macy and Emily Rossum,
those are equal levels of draw and skill in the acting arena.
This is so stupid.
Jennifer Lawrence wanting to get more money.
That's fine.
I don't think there's any problem with people getting paid in Hollywood.
They make a fuck ton of money to dress up and play pretend.
And that's great.
Good for them.
They hit the lottery.
They did.
And a lot of them are genuinely good at it.
Marky Mark is top.
It all has to do with what you're drawing. I would think it would be The Rock. How is it not The Rock?
I would think it would be Sammy J.
Like, Chiz just told me it was Marky Mark,
but I think it's, he beat The Rock by
$3 million. Alright, god damn.
Dude, how is Sammy J not
number one? That's baffling.
He takes every movie that's on him.
He's probably
I'm sure he wins in a couple categories.
Samuel L. Jackson. But he doesn't get
paid as much per. I think that's the deal.
If you want to get Samuel L. Jackson in your movie
I don't know, it's like $11 an hour or something.
We could get him on the show.
He's like, well, we're doing shit,
so here I am.
You could probably get him to quote some Pulp Fiction shit
for a few thousand dollars.
He'd do it. He'll do your ringtone.
Jackie Chan is still doing it.
How much would you pay?
Would it be worth any?
I never know with you, Woody, because some things you're like,
that's completely worthless to me. And sometimes you're like,
I could see getting into that.
Would you pay any money to get Samuel L. Jackson to make you
a personalized voicemail?
No.
I can't use a personalized voicemail. My voicemail is like...
I can't use a personalized voicemail
because if someone gets my phone number,
I don't want them to have any clue that it was the right one.
Yeah, I do the automated one.
If somebody gave me the option
to pay $10 to be
insured the rest of my life that I never
had a Samuel L. Jackson
voice recording, I'd take that. Because the last thing you want is sure the rest of my life that I never had a Samuel L. Jackson voice
recording, I'd take that.
Because the last thing you want is
if someone's calling you for a professional thing,
they get, you've reached
the phone of Taylor!
He ain't here!
Whatever the fuck.
They're going to be like, oh, I guess this is the wrong number.
I seem to have reached a crack dealer.
That's not what you would want. If I had to pick a celebrity to do it, I're going to be like, oh, I guess this is the wrong number. I seem to have reached a crack dealer. Like, no, that's not what you would want.
If I had to pick a celebrity to do it, I'm trying to, like, honestly, a Morgan Freeman,
if he did it very tactfully, because everyone would recognize the voice and be like, and
their reaction wouldn't be, this is Morgan Freeman's phone.
They'd go, this dude knows fucking Morgan Freeman.
I think I have an answer.
Just throw this out there.
What if you got the George Costanza, like, believe it or not, Taylor's not right here. I saw someone do that. I was watching
the Graham Norton show, and Jason Alexander was on, and they brought that song up. And I don't
remember who it was, but they hand him the cell phone, and they're like, would you do it for me?
Would you give me that voicemail? And he did. He did. He goes, believe it or not, he sings the song
and everything and gives him that voicemail. I thought, wow,
that's pretty cool. The problem with this is
nobody uses voicemail. I remember back in the day
when answering machines were a thing. I'm sure
Woody does. It was a big deal.
I remember when they were new.
So for our 12-year-old
audience, they're going to replace secretaries.
There used to be this black
box next to your phone that
had a cassette tape in it that you had to make a personalized recording into.
And it was like, hey, you've reached Kyle.
Not home right now.
Leave a message at the beat.
And then it would be recorded onto a cassette that you had.
There was no digital shit back then.
It was a big deal.
Everybody had an answering machine.
Everybody had an answering machine message.
Now, I used to leave Woody voicemails like this has been a couple years ago
and uh and one time i was like hey did you check my voicemail he's like i have like 800
unlisted voicemails i have no idea what you would have left me i was like it was important shit
it was important i get upset i'm such an asshole leave me voicemails i hate it at one point at cisco i
decided on my own that i was too important for voicemails it wasn't my preferred method of
communication and like most people would get back the little red light on their phone would be lit
up and shit i was like no no that is not how you contact the wood man and uh you know like i don't
know i would have dozens of messages on there.
And it's like if you really want me, then you'll have to use one of the communications messages I prefer because voicemail I don't like.
And I stopped using it.
I will check my voicemail only when the notifications get too out of hand and it's annoying me.
And even then just to like hit like777, deleted, deleted, deleted.
And I will check every once in a while.
And it'll just, you know how voicemails start off.
You're like, when the hell was this?
And it'll be like one week ago.
And it'll be like, Taylor, this is Grandma.
I was calling to let you know we are going to have a crab boil for Thanksgiving this year.
And it's like, this is from a year ago.
And I'm sorry, Grandma-licious.
Yeah, she should have just texted me.
Text me or just call again and I'll answer and we can talk.
A tear goes as you're like, I'll remember your grandmother.
I don't get any voicemails ever.
So, like, when I do, it's like, oh, shit.
Let me check this.
Oh, God, what could it be?
Who needed to send a message to me so bad that they would leave a voice recording of it like i think like somebody's
dead like like like i don't know like it's game over bro so i i don't even i don't even know how
to check my voicemail if i'm being honest like i don't remember the last one i checked like who
knows like like nobody because you gotta call the person like like like i was talking to a
girl the other day i was talking to a girl recently and she was like uh she was like call me i want to
hear your voice i was like uh nah nah i don't do that i would so much rather talk on the phone
than have to do text talk like it's easier yeah you can be funnier over voice you can put reflections
on things you can be entertaining it's way better than shooting a text and hoping like,
oh, I hope they don't misread that and I don't seem like a total weirdo.
No, I much, much, much fucking talk to text.
They'll break out the keyboard.
That's the way to roll.
I'm like, no, I really don't like.
I was like, I just don't like talking on the phone.
She's like, well, I want to hear your voice.
I was like, well, I'll call you for like 10 minutes,
but we're not going to talk about shit.
I'm just going to say the alphabet a few times.
You should have been like, do you mind if I'm speaking a Russian accent
because there's a YouTube channel with plenty of it.
I actually do a four-hour-a-week podcast.
Check that out.
Yeah, I could watch a video, motherfucker.
I don't feel like I've got bad service here.
I don't feel like walking outside and talking to you on some crispy you on some crispy phone line like no no i i hate speaking on the phone i i i don't even like holding against
my ear my the inside of my ear gets all sweaty from the phone and stuff like there was a time
when i remember when i was 18 i ran up a 1400 phone bill talking to a girl but back before
you had like anytime minutes and shit like this was a time where like you go over your minutes and they start fucking you in the ass every 60 seconds and i ran up this 1450 verizon
phone bill and i was like oh my fucking god that's all the money i have at 18 like i had it but it
was like shit you're gonna bankrupt me over my fucking you pay it like no no i did not pay it
did your family pay it?
No. I just ate it.
It was a big mistake, I guess, at the time,
but I was about to move. What does ate it mean? What did you do if you didn't pay it?
I just said, fuck it. Waited seven years for it to come off my credit report.
Oh, really? Because that used to happen to me
and I would call. I'd call
Sprint. Oh, I called. They were not
up for negotiations. Oh, they were for me.
I was just like, hey, this phone bill is a thousand dollars you know like is there a way we can
pretend i had a better plan you know like i had a thousand minute planning a two thousand minute
plan how about i pay what i would have had if i had the right plan and that's what they would do
my thousand dollar bill would go down to like thirty dollars i i remember speaking to i remember
i was shitting at the time while I had the conversation
with the Verizon lady.
She was like, we're just going to send this to collections.
I was like, I'll give you $500.
She was like,
we want $1450.
I was like, what's collections giving you?
They're probably giving you $350 or something.
Come on.
I was like, fuck you.
I'm never paying this.
I'll be straight.
I'm not borrowing any money in the next seven years anyway and of course it
was a silly thing to do but if i could go back i'd have just paid the damn thing but but i was
at a point in my life where i was just about to move to atlanta to like chase that girl and i
mean that's what i've been talking to that's why i had a 1500 phone bills because i was so obsessed
with this person and it was like i i need this500 for like my first and last month's rent and like gasoline
and stuff.
Like,
this is my money.
Like,
like I've saved this and it was like,
I can't do it.
I did that thing I was talking about repeatedly.
Like,
um,
we talked about how long distance they would fuck you.
Cell phones used to fuck you.
Like you,
you get 500 minutes,
but if you go to like 600 minutes,
all of a sudden you'd have a 900 cell phone bill
then i'd call them up and be like ah like i can't believe this happened it's my wife
and it was they used to yeah they used to do the cell phone like payment plan
like one of those uh world population charts where it's pretty reasonable for a while and
then it just straight line up you shoot one too many texts off and suddenly it's like oh
it sucks to suck idiot because that was a 26 text but you didn't know that oh another 13
dollars because she sent it back to you oh better hope this isn't a long conversation
oh you can call her and tell her to stop texting you so you don't get charged the inbound ones
that'll cost you 20 bucks to call oh that was so so stupid stupid. I remember in the office, Dwight sending his resume line by line through SMS,
and she's like, these are costing me 15 cents a piece.
I'm roaming, you jackass.
Now it's not that.
Like, we go over our data limit sometimes in my family,
and they're like, yeah, we're charging you an extra, like, $5 for another gig.
Yeah.
And I'm like, I guess that seems about right.
Yeah.
I think it's actually cheaper than paying for the next plan up every month you know it is to just
break it every fourth month or something yeah our internet went out uh i don't know it's been like
six months ago and it stayed off for days and so i just tethered i was like look i'm not gonna sit
here and not have netflix not have hbo like like i want to watch Game of Thrones. Tether this shit up.
It's going to be gig...
And it was like, I don't know,
30 gigs over or something like that.
It wasn't that awful.
It was like $100 that I spent, you know.
But then my internet company
refunded me all that money back.
They were at least that cool.
You know, they're incompetent,
but they're not assholes, I guess.
A new topic. Sure. I have a facebook friend right so i'm on facebook now and to me facebook is a paramotor website like that's
how i use it for whatever reason like they don't have a motoring social group it it is there's a
you know facebook has groups i'd even know facebook had groups until like the last year
and uh, that's
instead of having a form, which I would prefer it's on Facebook and people friend me on there.
Um, like I I'm chatty. So like people know me on the Facebook group and, uh, I accepted a friend
request from a person that turned out to be a subscriber and he's like, I don't know if you've
ever had subs. They're just happy to talk to you. Right.
They're very excited about having a direct connection to you.
And, uh, and this guy's a paramotors, but like every time I put up a video, he's asking,
like, he's manufacturing things to talk about.
He writes me and says, Hey, how are you doing this morning?
And, and I like, I'm, I'm grateful for my subscribers, but he really wants a lot of
personal attention.
Yeah, man. that's too personal
you know he catches me posting so he knows i'm online and that's when he hits me with like you
know hey woody how's it going this morning and he snipes you i can see i'm on steam like that
like i don't know i've got the maximum number of steam friends i guess and like if they message me
i tried really hard like i don't know I had a conversation with a guy
the other day like I went back and forth for a while
talking about stuff like I mean
if I'm not busy and stuff or something I'm sure
there's somebody who's like I've been messaging you for weeks
you never reply but like I do my best
to get back to the people especially on Steam
because I play with a bunch of people
I accepted his friend request
I feel responsible for like
I told him
that we were friends kind of it's facebook yeah and the guy um he's he's not young so he's he's
older than me so he's not gonna know like it's like the south park episode yeah is it i don't
know there's a kid with zero friends and then uh i don't remember who's stan or kyle but he's like
i'm gonna friend this fucking loser and so like the guy's like oh my god
mom and dad i made a friend and they're like really tell us about him well his name is kyle
and he and he lives across town his interests are snowboarding and and uh and game of thrones
or whatever you know like just reading straight from verbatim from the facebook profile and his
parents think it's a real friend uh it's yeah it's that's it's pretty sad. I don't know how to tell him. To me, when I wake up and he says,
Hey, Woody, how you doing? Good morning.
It's like, how dare you?
I'm in bed elevating my foot.
You've invaded my personal space.
But I accepted his friend request, so I'm a little crazy in this.
It's boundaries.
It's not about friends or not.
It's about boundaries.
Be respectful.
Come to me with something.
He's coming to you for entertainment. He's saying, what how are you tell me about you entertain me with the
interesting facts about you and you're like it's kind of relaxing if he came to you he's like hey
woody i found this really cool paramotoring article what do you think about these argentinians
and they're like nitro fuel paramotors what do you think think? Is this safe? And he showed you a cool clip.
You'd probably carry on a whole conversation with this dude
because he's talking to you about something that interests you,
and he's even got material.
But if he just comes and says,
Hey, Woody, tell me about your day.
How is it?
Even if he asked for advice, right?
Even if he asked for advice like,
Hey, Woody, you're doing a thing that I wish I could do.
Can we talk about it?
I'd be more inclined to chip in, but you're right my gosh you articulated it well all he says is hey how are
you doing tell me about what you're up to now and it's like man like you don't get that like that's
i see i get your your kind of hesitance to to cut them off or something because there is that
feeling even online of like ah ah, I feel like a real
dick if I do that.
You feel guilty. Maybe
Kyle doesn't and would
just axe that shit.
No, I don't do that. The only time I
cut somebody, I've done it to people on
Steam, but it's usually if
they do something that I find to be a gaming
faux pas. If they're like,
if they're just overstepping
no no no no no being rude
like being rude or like being
rude to like like I've had when we play
Battlegrounds I've had guys that come in
and like start trying to order my friends
around and stuff or like you know
like getting actually
angry about dying in a video game
and like god damn it I'm 30 years old
like I'm not getting angry anymore I'm having fun like like we're not we're not competing here we're chilling
and i can't deal with your your your level of intensity bro like what i'm here for yeah that
stinks it's awkward but it is i don't know how to articulate it well like you should just kind of
be maybe just say like i'm sorry i'm busy or yeah
i got some other stuff to do and then reward the good behavior because when he reaches out with
something that's interesting you'll actually get in the conversation he hasn't tried that yet
oh okay yeah no first time for everything it's almost always taking you know like hey woody how
are you hey woody good morning these are not rude things but in this context they feel rude to me
like oh now i have to write this guy a story like that's what he's looking for he's looking for a
story he wants to he asked me how the foot was i think a lot of people have and uh it's like oh
like i made a post about that you know damn well how the foot is there's been no update in the last
six hours you know you're just opening a conversation because you want to talk and
i don't know well the reason it makes you feel just opening a conversation because you want to talk. And I don't know.
The reason it makes you feel sad, I think, is because that's usually behavior of someone who's
pretty lonely and everybody empathizes with loneliness because everybody's felt lonely.
And so when you get that, you don't want to feel like the person because you do,
or at least all people I would think who aren't sociopaths empathize. Your first thought is like,
oh, man, I remember times where I felt all alone and I tried to reach out to someone and they just weren't feeling it for any reason
not like it was their responsibility they just didn't feel like it and that kind of really sucked
I bet I don't want to be the guy that puts them in that funk but then you think more and you're
like well but they're really kind of putting me in an awkward position and that's really not fair
if we're getting you know right down to it it's not like you're dating or that you you know hang out all the time and that it's like your good good buddy
that you support through thick and thin or something it's just i don't know i do empathize
with what you're going through because it's way harder than what you think to just cut people out
right and back and be like you know i've got a lot of friends and not just on facebook but on a lot
of different platforms and i try to get to as many as possible. So I'm going to limit you to one question per week.
You don't get to ask it today, though,
because I want a full 24 hours of contemplation on your part.
Come to me tomorrow and ask something good.
By the way, two strikes and you're out.
Two strikes?
Yeah.
You're on strike one already, FYI.
Something happened to me today on Facebook that I thought, I really liked it.
So I have a friend that I moved when I was 12 from Morristown to Ocean City.
And this guy was my best friend in the world in Morristown, right?
The two of us were tight.
And he was watching that movie Stand By Me.
And Richard Dreyfuss at the very end says something along the lines of, you know, I don't think I ever made friends as close as I was back when I was 12.
And he's like, you know what?
I should hit up Woody and see what he's doing.
So he finds me on Facebook and we reconnect.
And like he tells me all about it.
And I remember he was funny, but he had a little sister.
They were Jewish.
And she had like a jew fro and uh
i was like how's mindy doing like i always wondered he's like oh she's good she's married
she's got two kids she's an attorney for samsung now still rocking the jew fro and i was like that
was so perfect she's like in her mid-40s now and uh i don't know it really warmed me to like yeah
i'm laying in bed elevating my broken leg.
And I talked about that, and he's like, yeah, you always did tap into the adrenaline gene.
I remember, and then he brought up, I've told the story where we were hid under the boardwalk and the police tried to find us and stuff.
That was my partner in crime. He reached out to me today.
That's really cool.
Yeah, it was really cool like i'm really glad he
turns out he's up he's like eight startups he lives in san francisco now he's married he's got
some kids and he just he's lived a really good life and um it was neat to hear from him so i
don't know if that topic goes anywhere but it was cool no i didn't i i obviously not even 10 years
out of high school yet i guess that's a year and a half or so away,
but they're a little longer.
And even now, I'll think I'll do this thing with my friends that I do hang out with,
the ones that I went to high school with,
and be like, try and think of someone
that you haven't thought of since graduation night.
And always, there's like six or seven names that come up,
and it's like, oh my God,
that's a person I saw every day for like seven or eight years through grade school or middle school or high school a while in high school and i didn't
even yeah i had to hit every grade twice i did it like a workout so i did nine ten eleven twelve
nine ten eleven twelve kill it the second time but like you'll just think about it and be like
oh man that is crazy like that person's out there living their life and they probably haven't
thought about me either in that time.
That's really not that weird,
but it seemed like it was when I started
talking a minute ago.
I read it on Reddit,
but it was named something that said
and he's like,
eventually you die, and then
eventually someone will think of you for the
last time, and
that's when you end for good.
And I thought about that.
Isn't that like something from a movie?
Oh, it could be.
I didn't recognize it as from a movie.
And I thought about it.
Like, yeah, yeah, yeah.
So some people, like Socrates, live on for millennia.
You know, presidents and people of note.
Even YouTube stars might exist a little past uh you know someone who's not uh but
all of us at one point will be thought of for that last time and then
completely gone who do you think won't be who do you think 2 000 years from now that we know of
not necessarily from our times but but 2 000 years now, assuming we don't blow ourselves up, which we will, that people
are still talking about.
There's like five of them. Jesus,
Muhammad, Julius Caesar,
George Washington.
Real actual things that existed.
No fictional people. You can't say Santa Claus,
motherfucker. Garfield, Iron Man.
Genghis Khan, Attila the Hun,
Genghis Khan, Attila the Hun, Julius Caesar,
George Washington, Donald Trump. uh gang is con attila the hun julius caesar um george washington
donald trump oh no we won't be talking about george washington in 50 years he was a slave owner
man uh okay maybe you're right uh chiz good one einstein he'll be remembered
and you know what like i'd never thought about it before, but famous people of the past, they go in waves, you know?
So there were people who lived in the 1700s
that were probably well-known in the 1930s
that nobody knows about now.
And in 20 years, a resurgence might happen,
and they'll become, quote, famous again, in a way, you know?
And so it's, like, it's not super consistent
when you get outside of those names
of like julius caesar or atilla the hun gangas khan muhammad jesus george washington yeah you
gotta be a real revolutionary you gotta do some shit and good is just good things are just as
as bad things hitler nobody's getting hitler how did i fucking miss hitler you're a fool man
yeah hitler and stalin there's two more on the list. Ah, yeah.
Don't forget Stalin long before Hitler.
They've really narrowed down on that Nazi thing.
It's not a whole thing.
How do I always end up defending Nazis?
How do we end up here every time?
No.
But, yeah, Hitler will be remembered for a very long time.
Hitler gets more credit than he deserves, right?
Mao?
That's a good one.
Yeah, he does.
Yeah, Hitler gets a lot more credit than he deserves because Stalin killed many? That's a good one. Yeah, he does. Hitler gets a lot more credit than he deserves
because Stalin killed many, many more.
So did Mao.
That's where I was going, too.
I think Mao, as far as the actual death total,
because of starvation, is the highest.
Is that right?
And then Stalin was still insanely high.
But a lot of his was gulag and starvation.
And World War II. He had like 10 or 20
million Russians die in there. It's like, I
heard someone put 100 million on the
Soviet, or not the Soviet, but the communist
death toll the other day or something like that.
So. That's a lot.
Chiz just said, Mal,
45 million people
in four years.
Think about that.
Hitler was the best at dehumanizing.
That's a good quote.
Hitler was like that.
I don't know.
I think the Japanese were worse.
I think that the Japanese were much worse than the Germans during World War II.
If you look at the experimentation they did on human beings and stuff,
I'm aware. I've studied the Holocaust
a lot. I had a book about it growing up.
I think the book
was called
And God Cried or something like that.
It's just full of horrors.
But if you look at what those
Japanese military units were doing,
vivisecting people, which is
cutting them open, dissecting people while they're alive,
all the horrible human experimentation, what they did in China.
Look at the rape of Nanking.
Oh, yeah.
Just atrocity after atrocity.
And whereas, I'm not going to defend Nazis this week.
I'm just saying that the Japanese, in my opinion, were just worse.
And that's really saying something.
Along the lines of defending Nazis, I was looking up – I was like, all right, so World War II, it's pretty clear to me anyway that Japan, Germany, and Italy were the bad guys, right?
A couple more mixed in, but those were the bad guys.
That was the triage, yeah.
Triage, yeah.
And if you look at it objectively and you ignore the whole history,
history is written by the winners, they were still the bad guys.
They just were.
They did some bad things. But in World War I, I was like, where is the evidence that Germany
and that side were the bad guys in World War I?
And I looked into what it was all about, not just the event.
What did they kill?
Ferdinand, something like that.
Art Duke Ferdinand. Art Duke Franz Ferdand yeah friends like i shot him outside the sandwich shop and that was what kicked
off the entire story but the whole war wasn't about just like oh one guy got killed we need
revenge and no it was about like land disputes and austria hungary and it basically triggered
so many alliances to where it was like oh this guy got killed all right well all
of hungary's uh allies come out of the woodwork oh and you're coming out and you hate england
well england's allies are fucking in the mix too in france they're jumping in well we like france
we're into like it escalated so quickly and i really don't know i'd never thought too much
about how the germans were the evil ones in War I, except that they did try to conquer Europe again.
Yeah, I was listening to German soldiers,
and this video appeared just by looking at the film quality to be 70s,
but there was these old Nazi soldiers defending what they did in the war.
And they were talking about...
So this is World War II.
Yes.
Yeah, okay.
Yeah, and they're saying, you know, we were a professional army.
We didn't rape and pillage and there and there's a lady there she's like they took all the men from my
village they took all of them and killed them 660 and he's like well what happened why why would
they do this you're saying that like i don't know the the this division did that no no no i can't
believe this he's like well a uh a car was ambushed and he's
like oh well that's why then was it soldiers that ambushed the car or partisans partisans would be
like uh civilian freedom fighters and they're like well probably just locals and they're like well
there you go you broke the rules of war and they were just defending the stuff they had
they did and like this right in this woman's face, looking at each other, she thinks she knows what war is.
And it was weird to see it from their point of view.
I think I've seen this in the same footage.
And like Kyle said, they just...
They were completely convinced.
Like a self-confidence kind of thing.
Somehow in my head it ties to McGregor.
They believed what they said was true.
They didn't really commit any war crimes. They didn't have any atrocities. They like they believed what they said was true yeah like they didn't really commit
any war crimes they didn't have any atrocities they only gave out what they got like they were
in the right she asked him about rape and he's like we would never rape it would be a big punishment
if you raped you'd either get hung or sent to the punishment battalion or something like that
he's like it was the russians who came and did the raping and like fuck i don't know man i i don't know you know what i'm gonna not take the nazis word for it call me fucking crazy but yeah that's uh i'd really
like to watch that that's interesting that sounds cool like to see their perspective and how warped
it is like because you have to think about it like some of those guys are probably so brainwashed, even in the 70s, 30 years later,
that to even consider
that what people said was true
about the side they fought for,
you'd go crazy and be like,
holy shit, not only was I the bad guy in this conflict,
I was the worst group of bad guys ever
among bad guys.
Like if Attila the Hun's friends came around
at the time we were doing our shit, they would been like easy easy it's down but you want a few you
know Jewish problems let's go they think it sucks I had bad guys on my team right
yeah in the same way we talked I forget it was PK and but I've been getting
chuckles out of the fact that the right now has people on their team that they wish weren't.
You know, the white supremacists, the KKK, the guys at Charlottesville.
And there's a lot of like good hearted Republicans like, oh, my God, why are you on my side?
Right. Why are you pro Trump like I am?
I wish it was just good people.
And that's how I feel with some of the people on the left.
Or even the what I've done this before.
Or even the what I call cry bullies.
You know, imagine in your head right now a slightly overweight woman at 19 years old with purple hair and a nose ring.
Big rimmed glasses.
Which party does she vote for?
Right?
Or Kathy Griffin, that kind of shit.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And it's just like, oh, there's people on the blue team that I wish weren't.
You know, I'm like oh my god really you making a big deal about halloween costumes just find your
own team so anyway that's i imagine what the nazis do too they're like oh my god i was professional
soldier i fought on behalf of my country i did this i did that um the fact that there were these
monsters on my team you know
i imagine that's how they rationalize it that's probably the only way they're able to live with
themselves about it look the the soldiers weren't the guys gassing people right like that was a
different group of i'm not saying that the people gassing people weren't soldiers but i'm saying
they're definitely separate groups right like there's some guys up here gassing and rounding up Jews,
but then there were certainly, like, you know, Rommel, all right?
Name a general, you know.
There was violence on many sides, many sides.
Dude, I don't buy it.
You know how you always hear that shit where they're like,
and the German people didn't even know.
They didn't even know that Dachau,
which is on the top of a hill in their town
and you could probably smell it the burning flesh from there they had no idea they thought it was
around the clock barbecue for fucking years it's like no no you knew like i don't if i were in that
situation like based on what the jordan peterson stuff of like you know these i like to scare my
students tell them they could be a nazi like that kind kind of shit. Like, I'm sure that it's...
Everybody likes to believe they wouldn't be the person who did something evil,
but everybody does have the capacity to do horrible, malevolent, evil things.
But still, it's like, I don't fucking buy it
that there were whole cities near concentration camps
and that these people had no idea.
Like, it doesn't make any sense.
On the counterpoint...
We do that with air bases, right?
Like, nobody knows what's going on.
There's all kinds of shit around my house that I carry.
You're not shipping millions of people on trains and in public transport to all these different places.
And they don't just go, hey, remember that train that came through yesterday?
And the day before, and the day before, and the day before, and the day before, and the day before.
I've never seen a train leave with anybody on it.
Isn't that curious?
Isn't that weird?
Did they know they were in the trains though?
I'm just playing devil's advocate.
If you asked me right now to find my local post office,
I'd need to ask Siri for help.
There are people like that.
Yeah, but if they were murdering
thousands of people at your local post office,
you'd know where it was.
Maybe not.
It'd make the paper.
It's not a post office
though it's it's a concentration camp military base out in the middle of nowhere like kind of
separated from everything else with like tons and tons of barriers like have you seen i have heard
the stories of when they took the townspeople and they said you come in here and clean up these
bodies you and they took them in there and those people appeared that they did not know what was going on
let me find Dachau on the hill did you see the
Trump rally in Phoenix
I watched it from stem to stern
did you see I watched
reports on it and they showed
Trump quote himself and then they showed Trump's
actual quote and he left out the
on many sides thing and when at first I was like
well you get to stop
a quote you know where you want to and then
I saw the cadence of
him do it originally he's like
there was a lot of violence on many sides
on many sides there was a lot of violence
and then he's like
and I told them there was a lot of violence
and he cut it
I don't have any problem with
there was violence on both sides because there
was violence on both sides what i didn't like him saying was there are a lot of good people
in that white supremacist march a lot of very good people it's like no those are a couple hundred
pieces of shit who know what they're there for they know what they're cheering for in favor of
like they they stood around the robert e lee statue uh on purpose you know because they're trying to incite shit
like I don't know it's just it's really fucking annoying
that you can't point out violence on one side
without and Kyle demonstrated perfectly
the way we're trying to be trained right now
with the media Kyle is saying completely reasonable
things and going I don't want to be the one defended Nazis
it's like no you're not
you're not saying anything
you know what people actually defend Nazis?
The Nazis and the white supremacists and the neo-Nazis.
If you ask 100 Democrats and 100 Republicans, if it was only 100, there's a good chance 100% of both of them are like, yeah, I hate white nationalists and neo-Nazis.
I hate them.
But if you asked 1,000, you'd get a couple Republicans in there.
You might find a couple.
Just like if you asked a thousand, there'd be quite a few
on the left who'd say, yeah, I think the violence
that Antifa's displaying
in these cities is justified.
You might.
It's just fucking annoying.
Trump
has ruined
his credibility on a level that I haven't seen a presidency do before.
I know, politics talk.
But it started off – Jimmy Kimmel put it so well on this three-minute video.
I almost want to play it.
But it started off with dumb stuff.
Like you go in there, you drain in the swamp, you're excited.
He's going to handle immigration, you're excited.
He's got a bunch of things that you're psyched about and then day one he starts lying
but it's not important right he's lying about uh the crowd size and he says that it stopped
raining when he started talking when anyone can see that it was still raining right like
but whatever you know like who cares about that but the lies keep coming and they keep coming and
they keep coming and now this like defending of white nationalists come and misquoting and it seems like every day i open
youtube and i was the defending of white nationalists when he said that there were a lot
of good people in there that that's what i was referring to oh okay well then yeah i definitely
yeah i i can see that i can i i understand at. At first, I didn't care about that so much
until Taylor kind of opened my eyes
and was like, dude, if I was there protesting
high taxes and then I started hearing
the Jews will not replace us,
I'd make myself scarce.
That's when you skedaddle.
It's like, oh, this is not my crowd.
I don't want to be associated with these people.
I think I talked about this,
and I was a little more on Trump's side.
It was either a PKA or a PKN because i wasn't i hadn't seen as much content as i have
now now i've seen so many tapes of them chanting you know the lots of nazi things things i hadn't
even heard before like jews not replacing lots of anti-jewish blood and soil yeah like i didn't
seen that uh but i have now and i'm like oh my gosh yeah this was unmistakably like a white supremacist nazi thing
and for trump to defend that uh i don't know i have a hard time like how long it took him that
though it took him way too long to come out and say anything as well so here's the thing about
the time the timeline i think the timeline is extremely important if you're if you're gonna
judge the very first speech he made
which was the day that all this stuff happened he had not yet seen the jews will not will will
not replace us chant because that's vice news uh he had not seen uh the girl had not died yet
that hadn't occurred yet and he wasn't aware of it when he's making the speech i actually didn't
know this okay yeah because i was like watching it minute by minute like i was super engaged i was on vacation and and so he um he didn't know that
either and so when he came out all he had seen was mobs of people clashing with one another each of
them armed with pepper spray clubs helmets masks and some of the signs say nazi stuff some of the signs say uh communist stuff you know
there's hammers and sickles out there on the other side like one side has wastecas the other side has
hammers and sickles now i don't group that entire uh anti-protester group which is what they they're
being referred to i don't know i know they're not anti-fa they're not all that they're not all anarchist but some of them are and i think that you can say that there's uh violence on both sides
without drawing a moral equivalency between the two i'm not saying that one is better than the
other i'm not saying that like i'm not defending nazis or or anyone for that matter i'm saying that
like both sides agree with that it's true that both sides had violence right but if i look at
world war ii uh one where i think there is a clear-cut good guy and bad guy i don't say you know what the allies
were violent as well you know there was violence on both sides you know the war was declared that's
uh yeah that's a that's i don't know that's not a very you don't like that one that's not a tenable
analogy it's war and it's different the reason that i would say that i think it's reasonable in this circumstance where it was the couple hundred white nationalists and then a way
bigger group of antifa and regular protesters like because their their group was so much bigger
of course there were a lot of well-meaning people there like i'm sure the girl who was
tragically killed who just wanted to be like fuck this i don't like these white nationalists being here we're going to protest and so in that math equation i totally agree that the you know uh
leftist protest has way more good people than the smaller actual fucking neo-nazi protest because i
don't think that organized white supremacist thing i don't think that that's indicative and also as a
side note uh if you look at the the posters that
they used to try and draw people's attention to this unite the right event it's it's clearly like
nazi-esque and creepy like like almost like like nazi or soviet propaganda looking posters is what
it looks like yeah um but when you talk about this whole thing across the entire country, I mean, there has been more violence from Antifa than there
has from white nationalist groups.
Hopefully that doesn't escalate any further, but who knows?
Maybe these white nationalists are now emboldened and they're going to go out and start shit,
because it's pretty clear, especially from that Vice interview, that a lot of these guys
just wanted to start shit.
They just want to get fights.
I think it's been going the other way.
I think that the white nationalist people had more stuff planned and they changed I was reading about it recently
They change it to be online protests. I think because they're having negative ramifications again on camera losing their jobs
Okay, that was that was the Trump rallies
But what happened what happened there was a university in Texas Chisholm, Texas a.m. And it was Texas
That was where the next unite the right uh rally was to be held there and the university canceled
it because of safety concerns um that's fair i just i have a time yeah i have a like basically
though you know we've talked about flag burning before and i i changed my mind live on this show
at first i was like nope lock
them up you burn our flag yeah you're not one of us but then i was like no no that's not how
fucking freedom of speech works it's you have freedom of speech freedom of speech is our is
our first amendment because it's it's not there to defend easy uh opinions it's there to defend
the fringe right Because opinions that everyone
shared don't need defending. You don't have to
have your founding document begin
with defending something that everyone believes
or everyone thinks. It's there to defend the
fringe, the shit that we don't like,
but that's what freedom of speech
is about. So if you're going to burn my flag,
I'm just going to have to look away because it disgusts me.
But I won't hurt you. I won't
hit you because that's wrong. I can't do it i can't do it and then and then uh and then share the same
amount of freedom when i want to say something that might be a little edgy or across the or
across the line the dangerous thing that that you see now is people doing the hate speech isn't free
speech and it's like uh no it is that's literally what we need free speech to
protect is the hateful bad shit like as long as you're not inciting violence then you should be
able to say anything you don't need a right to protect your uh your ability to say i don't like
rick and morty this season or game of thrones is going too quick like no like those the the speech
that needs to be able to be said is
oftentimes grotesque and vile and that's why it needs to be protected because so many people
realize it for what it is stupid trash that they don't want to hear it but you still need the right
to say it the people taylor are talking about are an example of the cry bullies i wish were not on
my team hate speeches and free speech oh my gosh stop. Stop censoring people. I have a John Oliver
topic, and it's slightly free
speech, so I'm sure you've
seen it, Woody. You want to tell us about something
real quick before we get on to the John Oliver topic?
Yeah, yeah, sure.
Sucker.
Can we watch the
video I linked? It's one minute long after I
do this. Of course we can.
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laughing my ass off. Taylor, you might be muted.
A month of laughing my ass off right now,
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All right, so this clip is super relevant
for the conversation we just had about Charlottesville.
This is from 1980.
Okay, I'm queued up. Is everybody?
Yep.
Three, two, one, play.
Oh. Hey, what's going on? Ah, those bums won their court case, so they're marching today.
What bums?
The fucking Nazi party.
Illinois Nazis.
I hate Illinois Nazis.
The tables have turned!
Oh, no.
Oh, they didn't hit anybody.
This is a bit more lighthearted.
Yes, sir!
Yes, sir! Yes, sir! Yes, sir! Yes, sir! Yes, sir! Yes, sir! Yes, sir! Yes, sir! Yes, sir! Yes, sir! Yes, sir! Yes, sir! Yes, sir! Yes, sir! Yes, sir! Yes, sir! Yes, sir! Yes, sir! Yes, sir! Yes, sir! Yes, sir! Yes, sir! Yes, sir! Yes, sir! Yes, sir! Yes, sir! Yes, sir! Yes, sir! Yes, sir! Yes, sir! Yes, sir! Yes, sir! Yes, sir! Yes, sir! Yes, sir! Yes, sir! Yes, sir! Yes, sir! Yes, sir! Yes, sir! Yes, sir! Yes, sir! Yes, sir! Yes, sir! Yes, sir! Yes, sir! Yes, sir! Yes, sir! Yes, sir! Yes, sir! Yes, sir! This is a bit more lighthearted. You're gonna kill that son of a bitch.
You've never seen Blues Brothers?
You're missing the fuck out.
Blues Brothers is a classic.
See, and the exact same thing happens
when a bunch of Nazis get embarrassed in public
is all the people around like it.
Everybody hates Illinois Nazis. So John Oliver did a takedown
piece against a coal company a few weeks back, I want to say, maybe six shows
ago or something like that. He's being sued by that coal company.
And it's kind of a big deal because this won't be in federal court, it'll be in state court.
And if you remember what happened to Gawker, that trial
was in Florida.
You have a judge deciding that you owe Hulk
Hogan $177
million. They crippled Gawker.
They took it down. Most of that legal stuff
was financed by a billionaire who had also been
taken down by Gawker in the past.
I think the outing is gay.
And he financed the Hulksters
leg drop.
There's 22-inch pythons.
It took Gawker down.
Can you give a little backdrop to the
John Oliver thing? What did he say that he's getting sued for?
John Oliver, well, you know John.
He went on a whole tirade of
petty insults and that sort of thing,
mocking the way the man who runs the coal company
looks and talks.
He called him something comically evil, something like that.
Do you remind him what year it was?
The most important part of the case seems to be that there was a mine collapse that killed 10 miners a while back,
and the company says this was due to an earthquake.
John Oliver claims there were no fucking earthquakes that day.
Those people died on your watch because of your negligence. So they are suing John Oliver claims there were no fucking earthquakes that day. Those people died on your watch
because of your negligence. So they are
suing John Oliver for saying this.
And this lawsuit is going to happen,
go down in Virginia,
in coal country, in this
guy's backyard, the billionaire's
backyard, West Virginia. Okay,
same fucking thing.
Is this like John Oliver personally, or is this
Comedy Central? John Oliver and HBO.
HBO?
Oh, HBO.
But wait, both of you said?
Do you know for sure?
I think they're both named in there.
HBO is going to be the one who's going to be shelling out the cash, though, right?
The thing about this is they could do to HBO what happened to Gawker.
They could come up with some astronomical amount of damages in this thing.
They could ask for a billion dollars or something like that.
This could mean no Game of Thrones next year.
I don't think it'll be that quick.
I thought of that, but they're producing that Game of Thrones very soon.
Yeah, that thing goes into filming in three months.
Well, the Confederacy is due.
When you said that, we might not get Game of Thrones next season.
That's when this sunk in for me.'m like oh oh no oh this this isn't just about hbo being ruined forever or
john oliver not getting a job being smarmy again it's gonna have real ramifications like
he in the thing the so the guy suing john oliver if i recall correctly is infamous for suing right
he sues people all the time and he's going through the thing and he's like i bet he sues me for this like mocking him almost daring him and careful
what you wish for i guess yeah yeah careful what you say um and and what would be interesting is
if they prove in court that oh actually sir you were responsible for those 10 miners death uh
i'm not really allowed to say this but uh if i were one of those 10 uh dead
miners families i'd start getting that uh class action suit together i'm sure if it's held in my
courtroom things will go well for them you know like it could backfire but who knows like do you
think that hbo or i'm sorry not hbo whoever this uh coal company is would they really go through
the trouble of suing HBO and John Oliver if they
didn't know that they were right? Like if they didn't walk in and go, yeah, he doesn't care.
He's a billionaire, so he's got the money to throw around. What he doesn't have is the,
is the, is the like reputation to allow people to constantly slander him if you believe that what john oliver says is
true i suppose it would be some form slander he wasn't written that'd be liable so liable not
liable they're different words so we'll see what happens um i i'm not usually a big john oliver
fan but i've kind of come around recently you know i i don't i i like i like what he does
regardless of if it's a perfect formula for comedy.
I enjoy it. I always watch the show.
And I hope this goes well for him,
because it sounds like that guy's negligence killed ten miners, to me.
He says there's no earthquakes that day,
and they say the mineclaps because of an earthquake.
It seems like you could prove there weren't any earthquakes that day.
They got seismographs and shit.
The important thing in all this is that HBO doesn't get crippled.
Because that would suck.
As if HBO took the Gawker route and got ruined.
That would be horrible.
I mean, there aren't any other shows I'm watching on HBO right now
other than Game of Thrones.
But they'll come out with a good one later.
Chiz, what is the anti-slap law?
What Chiz wrote is there's no anti-slap law in West Virginia like Florida.
That's the big problem.
I don't know what an anti-slap law would do.
You don't know that S-L-A-P-P?
Would it limit the amount that the judge could award?
But if there was one in Florida, then Gawker would have been okay, right?
No, no, no.
He says there's no law in West Virginia just as there is no law in Florida, then Gawker would have been okay, right? No, no, no. He says there's no law in West Virginia, just
as there is no law in Florida. It's what he
meant to say. It was just a bit confusing.
Ah, I do.
I see it now. There's no way to slap
law in West Virginia like Florida.
So I
added in my head. I read the same as you the first
time. You should have replaced like
Chiz with similar to.
It would have made it much more clear.
Dramatalk.
Yes.
Let's talk about our favorite.
What do you guys think about semicolon use?
I was just going to bring up semicolons.
I'm not sure I use them.
I don't use them because I'm not sure I use them correctly.
Well, I find there's no better way to separate two independent clauses.
What a wasted space on the keyboard
I remember learning to type
and the first thing you learn is your home row keys
or whatever and it was like
when do I use the semicolon
and it would be presented to you when to do it
and I'd slap my little right pinky down
and press that thing but it was like
I have a finger on the semicolon
100% of the time on the keyboard that's bullshit
I almost want to order one of those custom keyboards
and put something I actually use over there.
Did you have to put that orange cover over it?
I remember we didn't have an actual training thing
when I was in grade school and they were teaching us to type.
It was the principal's wife or some shit.
I don't know.
They were old at the time, so they are probably dead.
But when we were doing the class, we were oh maybe eight or nine ten and all it was was sitting there with those covers and she would go in her minnesota accent she'd go a a a space
c c c space e f g space and it was like i'm not learning to type like this is C, C, C, space, E, F, G, space.
And it was like, I'm not learning to type.
Like, this is helpful.
No, what trained, what got me good at it is AIM Instant Messenger.
When in middle school, when all my friends got AIM and we all started talking, that's how I learned to type quickly.
So I remember this very well i was in middle i'd
like to know how old you were and what kind of machine you learned on but but let me go first
i was in middle school in the eighth grade um and uh and i saw there was a keyboarding class
and i was like this this is important to know you know because like we had a computer at home and
we're all like punching it with one finger i was like man i'd love to type like those fake hackers in the movies dude like
like really fast it just seemed like this is like a musical instrument that plays the music of life
at this point so i should learn this shit so um i go in there and we had electric typewriters
all right it's a big motherfucking thing and when when you press a key
it took it put a clack clack clack it was like it was clapping clacking ink to paper with a with a
lever like a it's a typewriter but it's electric so you don't have to muscle the the uh the keys
down there they're they they're electronic and it's got that orange fucking thing on there and uh
i thought it was the easiest
fucking class of all time it was like once you got your your work done you know you had like
copied whatever page you had to copy and turned it in then you go play video games and they had
like cd-rom not cd-rom um floppy disk video games over there that you could play so like space
invaders and shit and so i love that class and then when i got to high school in the ninth grade
they had uh another keyboarding class and i was like shit i already know how to type 55
words a minute or something like that that's an easy a that's an easy a right there and so i took
it again so like i i'm really glad i did because i can't imagine like going through life henpecking
or whatever you call it when you use two fingers i get i get a little upset when i see people in my
age bracket i guess me and kyle's age bracket who don't type correctly who who's just like three
fingers or they do like weird reaching it's like just fucking learn to type correctly when you're
sitting down and you're in no i haven't but if he has to stare at the keyboard all the time and he uses one finger no not even two yeah that's it's not true so wait you're lying oh my god
jim is the fastest of us all he types about 80 words a minute i can do it i'm not far from what
taylor hates i uh yeah i use all my fingers i I use all, yeah, I probably use nine fingers or 10. And, uh, but I
don't always hit the right key with the right finger. You know, sometimes like maybe I overuse
my index fingers cause I'm good with them. And, uh, my typing, I used to think I was fast. Like
maybe I was fast cause I typed all the time all day for a living, but I was really fast at
particular commands. Like I know Unix pretty well.
And, you know, I would just, like, I don't know.
And, like, people would watch and be impressed.
People would gather.
You know, they'd be like, watch him go.
My manager, to show off to his boss, would bring him over and watch me, like, you know, compile stuff.
This is something I do, like, a thousand times a day.
He's like, watch this. And you can hardly even see the stuff on the screen i'm not typing all of it some of its output and uh so i was really good at particular things but if you ask me to do aim
probably choose is better yeah i purposely left out you in my judgment because i do have a cutoff
of around 35 i think where if you're that age or younger you had enough access to computers
growing up when you were young in a formative age that you should have this shit figured out
like my dad doesn't fully type right um i work with people who are older and they don't fully
type right like i'll watch them type and it's like god damn like my dad do you not know how
much easier this would be if you could look at the screen while communicating with people.
I figured you could.
I really learned to type quickly, I think, my ninth grade year on this one game where all it was was you were like a spaceman.
And there were meteors that would come down at you.
And the meteors would say, is and at today there holy shit
and then the longer it went it'd be like superfluous uh tremendous exceptional yes i
played math blaster because obviously it gets longer and longer yeah it was uh yeah math blaster
that was fun uh not genius the kind of genius where it was fun in school like playing with those gummy people
like they made learning into a video game they made learning into like a blasting video game
that i remember that i had forgotten that completely yeah that was so i i play this
shit now blast back to like fifth grade and yeah fifth grade you're like 11 years old it was
this teacher's first year teaching so in back when i was you know in
fifth grade it was like an adult as an adult as an adult is how you think about it but looking back
this was like a 22 year old chick who didn't know what she was doing because she was teaching
children and she gave us way too much leeway to fuck around and so basically if you performed
well and paid attention in class you get little prizes like candies and these little eraser men, these little eraser men. And everybody started picking the eraser men
when they did well and building these armies on their desk. And then people started getting note
cards together and taping them in forms into castles on the corners of their desks and putting
these men in it.
And then we would take rubber bands and paper clips and during class shoot it at other people's
castles who they'd built on their desk and try and knock the little gummy men, the eraser
men off.
And eventually, for a while, the city and the civilization we'd constructed in this
fifth grade class was okay because we all had to perform well
in order to get the eraser men to use as soldiers but then joseph one day brought in a huge bag
of these things and was like guys forget having to earn these things everybody an extra 10 and i
still remember like the moment when when when she lost it in our class because it was
maybe 25 of us
in the class, 12 boys,
13 girls or so and all 12 boys
and some of the girls had these, what started as
one index card high with a roof
had become taking up
a quarter of the desk.
We had built these things out
like Realtor Brothers style
or whatever the fuck.
We were trying to flip our desks for profit.
And we were all shooting.
God, this poor lady.
We were all shooting these the paper clips and rubber bands trying to knock each other's men off and poke holes.
And someone missed because they were shooting from the back to the front hit her right in the and it didn't hurt, but she fucking freaked out on us.
Like, do you think this is a military school?
Do you think you're training for battle here?
This is ridiculous.
And she started going around.
What a terrible argument to use.
And tearing off everybody's castles in the top four.
And as she's doing it, it's like stealing a puppy from a child.
Where she's going up to Phillip's desk
and he's like, no, no,
no, Miss Smith and I worked so hard on this.
No, no, stop, stop, stop!
And she's tearing up, leaving me awake of upset and crying
kids, and I'm just sitting there like, goddammit,
she's going to get my castle too, but I can't cry.
That would have been the perfect moment
for the principal to walk in to do her evaluation.
He's just raging, tearing shit up
on kids' desks while they cry.
This is what you get! This is what your bullshit has wrought upon you!
Like, just throwing shit everywhere.
Just to remember, from now on, Eraser people will be used to erase!
Alright, well then we're not interested in them anymore.
I can't believe I had forgotten that typing blaster game.
You know what I want to talk about?
If we're not on to a new thing.
Or do we have anything?
No, no, shoot. I've got stuff in here.
I don't need to do it all.
I want to talk about Tinder and how I am...
I was hoping you would!
Yes, I am the biggest Tinder hypocrite
of all time.
Because I just downloaded it yesterday and for the longest
time up to it i had in my head like my friends are like oh you gotta get tinder you gotta get
tinder you gotta get tinder it's great and i was always like oh that's just a way for chicks to get
free validation without putting out it doesn't mean shit i'm not it's it's ridiculous i'm not
doing that and then just yesterday i'm like oh i'm gonna fucking do it so i downloaded it and
just started just started swiping and i didn't realize there was a limit to how many because I was just like
Like I read like three or four bios and I was like it's gonna take all goddamn day and all I'm learning is that every girl
Is self-described as sassy and adventurous and likes dogs and so I'm really not getting anywhere here
And so I just swiped as many as I could until it said you ran out and then you just wait
You just wait.
You just wait.
And you see who crops up and in.
And most of the time, it's a fat girl who you wouldn't be interested in.
Or you open it up and it's like, I'm a mother of three wonderful little boys.
And if you don't like that, you can swipe left or whatever they say.
Make me so strong. What I'm saying is I swiped them because it takes too much time to read everybody's thing and be like, no, yes.
It's faster to just pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop.
I saw a shitty robot on Reddit that took a piece of chicken and it just spun.
Like an uncooked chicken, like a chicken cutlet.
Put it on a power drill.
Yeah, and it swiped.
Get you to walk going.
It doesn't matter if you – because any time you throw out a fishing net,
you're going to get some whales.
That's part of fishing.
Yep.
I've never had a whale, but anyway.
I don't think that's part of fishing, actually, but carry on.
I'm having so much fun just shooting the shit and talking
and just being kind of an asshole in the chat function
because the way it works is then if the girls see the picture of you
and they're like, yeah, I'm interested in that guy,
they respond and then it shows
up to you and then you...
I'm sure they can reach out to you too.
Can I ask you a question?
Is that Twitter picture of you
in the mirror part of your
Tinder profile?
That's what brought this up. That's how this all
started. I was like,
dude, if you put that picture on Tinder, you will get laid by Thursday night.
I was like, throw that on there and swipe on everything that you're interested in, every one you're interested in.
Forgive me, ladies.
And then just wait.
And you're golden.
You're going to be golden.
Just remember, though, that there are, you always
hear there's plenty of fish in the sea, but if you go to work, go to school, go home, take a
shower, maybe stop by the gym, you're only going to see like 30 women a day. No, no. There are
millions of them. They are literally like fish in the sea. And forgive me for saying so, because
this is exactly what women do to us on Tinder. Look, you just be confident, aggressive, and straight to the point.
And there's no stopping you.
You're like a fucking freight train.
Oh, it's great.
It's a passing action.
You've got a list of women who have already admitted they want to fuck you.
That's why they swipe.
I've got a good number of...
I've since gone back and made my profile better
and have more detail and be more funny
and whatnot, but off the start,
I just made my profile
I like my women how I like my coffee
fat-free and quiet.
And it did pretty well.
That's how it works.
All the responses were like,
oh, I love that. That's so funny.
I was going to put a
I like my women how I like my coffee wet and with my dick
in it.
I thought that was
too much.
I've only had one girl
unmatch me when we started talking
and it's because I pushed the envelope
too far. She said that she
works with special needs kids,
and she had a very nice, nice behind.
And I said,
I said, that job's perfect for you
because that ass is retarded.
And within like five minutes,
I went and saw the list of the girls
that were interested
because she was at the top
because I'd sent a message, and it was like, she girls that were interested because she was at the top because I sent a message.
And it was like she wasn't there.
And it was like, all right.
But here's the thing.
All that happened was like 200 girls shifted up one notch.
And a new one took her place down at the bottom.
That's all that happens.
You'll never see her again.
And she couldn't take a joke.
You didn't just offend.
She's probably like, he was so offensive.
You dodged a bullet. She couldn't take a joke you didn't just offend she's probably like he was so offensive you dodged a bullet she couldn't take a fucking joke oh yeah and i'm also we have to talk about just a few weeks ago of uh talking about like online day i don't know if it was online specific
but we talked about like oh how young would you be willing to go and kyle honestly and immediately
says 18 yeah honestly and immediately i said, I don't know.
21, I'd like to be able to take him out for a drink.
A little younger might be weird.
I mean, that is a mentality that disappears quickly when there are 18 and 19-year-olds hitting you up for exactly what you know they want to do.
And it's in, like, my thought process.
Like, I was talking to a younger, or I guess 19 today and just being like,
and in the middle of the conversation,
like I didn't even,
I kept it like not even remotely dirty at all.
Like just like getting to know you kind of shit.
Cause every time I'm like,
God,
this is like,
I'm like eight years older than this girl.
Like this is weird,
right?
This is weird.
And so I'm still overcoming that mental hoop.
So I'm thinking about just setting the age to 21 just so that's no i just have it to whatever the default is which i think
is like 18 to 50 18 to 40 i don't know whatever the default is is what i'm getting but it seems
to georgia you can dial it all the way down oh but anyway this tinder shit if you gentlemen out
there don't have it yet, give it a go.
I need to go out.
I'm considering this weekend going out and just pretending to do activities, like stand on a hill that looks like it's in the wilderness and look out.
And then get a tennis racket or something.
Take a picture of food that's clearly pre-made and claimed to have made it.
Things like that.
I didn't realize until I put my Twitter picture that I i took of myself up i was like well i need to
add more pictures i was like oh fuck i don't i don't take like any pictures of myself ever
yeah i don't like having my pictures i don't feel like i'm very photogenic but uh that twitter
picture it's doing great yeah great so i told you i told you it would it's i had a conversation on
the subreddit about that picture.
I thought it was gonna be like, only like two or three girls would be interested.
Like no, it's a fucking school of them. Foolish.
No, you fill up every fucking time.
You always have, I always have, it's the maximum number. Whatever the maximum is, it's all of them.
All of them are interested. And the ones who aren't didn't swipe, so you don't even know.
You don't even know. There were some bitches like, his teeth are ugly, or I hate his big nose.
You don't have to even bear that
punishment. You never know that she didn't
like your big nose. A lot of these girls put
not looking for a hookup, you don't know
what you're looking for.
No, don't believe that.
I don't believe that. That's a
to see who is
persuasive
and fun and that kind of
shit. Yes yes they're lying
they're lying they're all eight minutes yesterday and she uh god what did i say
i i think all i told her is like wow like you look like you know your way around a squat rack
or something like that and uh and she loved it and like wanted me to take her out to dinner
and it was like and i i'm not going to, I don't think.
No.
Or maybe.
Who knows?
But I just –
This is fun.
I can help with this.
First of all, no.
You don't go out.
They come in.
That's what you want to happen because of the implication.
First of all, here's the things that happen if she comes to your place.
She immediately sees your place is clean and orderly and smells nice, right?
She sees that you have many hobbies.
She sees maybe pictures of family.
All of these things are little clues to her about what kind of guy you are.
And it sets her off at ease right away that you're not a maniac, right?
Because you never know online.
You could literally be one of those people who's gonna tie her down and inject her eyeballs with bleach or something fucking ape shit but but but
if she comes to your house and like you cook her tacos or something whatever whatever she wants you
know like that that's the move you cook her dinner and she gets to like mill around your house while
you cook and have a conversation or whatever and she gets to see all of your interests and then
and then you know what she's interested in you can bounce it back and she's at your and your bed's right over there
yeah see that's that's the the part that's most tempting about the just invite him over here
situation i'm still like in addition to overcoming you know that 1819 barrier i'm also overcoming the
um this is a stranger i don't know if I want some
like the kind of girl who
after half an hour of talking is
like yeah we should fuck it's like
I don't know
like I almost
wish there was a little more effort required you know
like this is like when you do a pseudo coup
but there's only four squares
well that's a
one and a two, right?
All right.
And we got it a little more than that.
But,
um,
yeah,
this is just a blast.
It's like being able to just be so upfront and just aggressive sounds wrong,
but that's literally what it is. Just being aggressive and not like being a,
cause these girls get talked to all the time. And I guarantee most of the guys talking to them are beating around the bush being like
did you have a fun day today what did you major in it's like nobody gives a shit no like nobody
cares you think these girls are so dumb they don't realize why you're on tinder like just a
conversation i had immediately a couple hours ago like the girl was like oh yeah you're uh well
you're a guy so i know you're always thinking with your dick.
And I was like, yeah, if you listen to him,
you'd see he has some great points of view.
And then she's clearly interested.
Like, this is, yeah, Chiz, I'll check out Farmers Only next.
You don't have to be lonely at FarmersOnly.com.
So far, the prospect of getting laid on this app is equally fun to just the shit talking.
Yeah.
The chase is as fun as the catch.
Because it's really fun to just be super open and not hold back a bit.
Because if you meet someone in public and start talking about their ass right away, you're a piece of shit.
And I don't mean that they'll think of you as a piece of shit, I mean, like, you kinda are a piece of shit.
If the first thing you can come up to say about someone isn't something that they necessarily value about themselves,
at least not as much as that... you know what I mean?
I feel like in person, things have to start much, much slower.
And you have to play it by ear, too, because if i saw a picture and it was just you know three pictures of the girl playing
with her dog and then at the piano i wouldn't be like looks like this you know we were on a squat
rack or your ass is retarded i like you wouldn't say that because that didn't open it up to it but
those you know what it is where they're sticking their ass out and they're wearing heels it's like
that chick worked for that ass.
And the fact that you're recognizing it is her being like, all right, noticed.
It's like an acknowledgment of hard work unless they just naturally have a great ass.
But a lot of people just – the reason they're so good is because they work for it.
I've talked about this experience, the parallel for old people when I was like 17. Like I remember I had this concept of disposable women
because I was picking up girls in the summer
and I never picked up girls like this before.
I actually got game.
You know, I was pretty good at it
because most people don't have an opportunity
to talk to like six girls a day,
but I'm working on the beach and there they are
like coming up, renting chairs, whatever.
And I was young and I didn't get laid,
but I got kissed a
lot that was people remember i saw pretty woman like 25 times or something that summer each time
pretending like i had never seen it before and uh yeah and and it was cool it was confidence
boosting and in the same i think part of what taylor likes about this so much what i call
disposable women,
there were just no consequences for fucking up.
Absolutely not.
If you're trying to pick up a girl in your high school
and she says no,
well, now you've been rejected by someone.
Now everyone knows you liked her.
Now everyone knows you wish that she said yes.
If you try to pick up a girl on Tinder and she says no,
you know, it's a numbers game.
You don't even know.
That's the thing.
Well, even if she says no after talking to her, like the retarded ass girl.
But Taylor's not losing any sleep over this.
There's another one bumping up the list.
He's fine.
And it's a fun way to interact.
I can see why you're digging it.
Oh, yeah.
It's definitely the way to go, especially if you're traveling.
You're stopping in some other city.
Oh, yeah. Because it tells you how far away. They are like there were some where it said like less than a mile away
Yes, like that's almost a little too close. Yeah, like I want to know you know
I've been other cities, and it's like oh oh shit are you in the same hotel as me like i'm in 7b where are you like yeah like you're in la or or something like that where it's super
dense like you're gonna max that thing out with just the bitches who are within five feet of you
you know like there's ladies everywhere it's the only thing I don't like about it is that
in person,
if you say a funny,
borderline offensive
joke around pickup line kind of thing,
if you say it with the right cadence
and you're not ugly
and you're decently good looking,
women will respond to it and they'll like that
and they think it's funny. It shows confidence.
If you do the same thing on Tinder,
the same message,
it's impossible to know
how someone will read text.
And so you can come off as creepy
when you're trying to be funny,
which is obviously the point.
Like you'd hope most people could see through.
But yeah, at the end of the day,
at the end of the day,
who fucking cares?
It doesn't matter.
You think these girls are looking at your profile
for a long time are you shitting me
they're sifting through a slew
of dick pics
and other dudes out there
for every like you get they get a thousand
like
it's just the way it is
I'll be back with more tinder updates
as long as they're funny
this is my favorite topic of the night by far by the way when you told me that you weren't on I was shocked I'll be back with more Tinder updates as long as they're funny. Oh my god, I can't wait for this.
This is my favorite topic of the night by far, by the way.
When you told me that you weren't on,
I was shocked.
I couldn't believe it.
I was like, oh, no, no, no.
And you didn't understand quite how it worked first because you'd never been on there.
He'd been in a relationship through most of Tinder.
Yeah, through pretty much all of it.
Yeah.
I've always used social media like that, you know?
Like, you know, Facebook, Twitter, whatever, you know?
I've met a lot of people on there.
That always shocked me.
It's way easier to be charming in person than over text.
I think for you, actually.
Like, you have a cadence and a delivery.
I think I'm more charming in text.
Maybe.
I prefer text
I prefer text because you can
I mean the way Tinder works or the way
you know anything works is you can have like
six or seven conversations going on simultaneously
and it's almost
fun mental gymnastics to keep them all straight
it's kind of like a little brain teaser
and it's easy to fuck up
like I have messed up like while
texting like three or four women at a time.
You know, they're always, like, jumbling up as you go and go.
And, like, one of them, I'm at, like, step seven out of ten.
And with one of them, I'm only on step two out of ten of the Kyle system.
And I realized that I just dropped a level seven line to a level two.
And it's like, let's see how she reacts.
Either we're about to skip
skip steps three through seven or she's about to like like delete my ass like we're gonna find out
right oh and she deleted me yep she's gone she did not like the thing about her asshole she did
not want to hear that right now because i don't know her name yet yeah yeah i meant to say this
for the fans out there who are good at Photoshop.
Put on the PKA Reddit or tweet at me, Photoshop me into adventurous situations.
I will put it on my Tinder profile as long as it looks borderline real.
That would be so fucking funny.
And look, there need to be some, like, don't go crazy at first, okay?
Don't pull a, like, remember when we did the prank phone call and Wings was like, do you have any body bags?
Or whatever. There wasn't wings, but yeah.
Forgive me, Wings. I didn't mean
to do that to you, but don't go straight to body bags,
okay? Like, have him, like,
fly fishing in one, and then maybe doing
a little amateur rock climbing in one.
And then maybe he's on Mount Everest
at the end, right end right like he's up
there on mount just put taylor's face inside one of those guys parkas with like the goggles and
everything and there's like ice in their mustache like i'm sure there's a there's a put him put him
on the top of mount everest put him like at nasa space center and like the zero g like centrifuge
machine like keep upping it and get him in that new elon musk space shoot spacesuit right
spaceship put me in uh make it so i look like put me on a horse like uh photoshop the black guy from
the old spice commercial no photoshop my head on the puddings please that will be great do that um
oh man what other fun You guys are creative.
Game of Thrones character.
Like, just put him...
Take a picture of Eddard Stark on his horse
and everything, but Taylor's face instead.
Like, yeah, this is when I was doing
a little filming for a show. You may have heard of it.
Game of Thrones.
I got cut out for that.
What if it was a character that people don't know?
Like, he could be a... I don't know, like in the background.
There's Arya with the swordsman from Braavos,
and then Taylor walking in the background.
But in costume, you just do the face.
Make me Gendry.
Yeah, because you can't make him Gendry or Jon Snow, in my opinion.
Like if you put his face on Jon Snow.
Don't make me Gendry, actually. It's like he was their stunt double, though. Don't make him Gendry or Jon Snow, in my opinion, right? Like, if you put his face on Jon Snow, it's like he was their stunt double, though.
Don't make me Gendry.
I don't want any of those girls thinking I got little bitch non-rowing arms from four years of...
I've been saying this to Taylor, like, in private for a week, but, like, Taylor is much more jacked than Gendry after all his rowing.
Like, I don't know if he had his cardio, though, because he ran, like, 25 miles back to East Washington and and two feet of snow I mean that was impressive and we're
like we did a lot of Game of Thrones talk on PKN and I was speaking that
let's do some AMA questions do you all do you all have those handy are you
guys hyped for Call of Duty World War two where do you plan to play if so so i
watched some uh some twitch streamers play today i watched hutch play a bit um i didn't love what
i saw i ask a question yes did the so i think it was shiz who told me or maybe it was you
who said that the graphics and it looked really dated, that it's a really dated engine
that's been masked by neat skins on the guns and other...
That was you?
Does it still look dated?
It does to me.
I was watching that, and it looked like...
If you told me that was World at War remastered,
I'd believe you.
If you told me that was Call of Duty 5 remastered,
I'd be like, yeah, that's what it looks like.
It looks like a more polished Call of duty 5 granted i watched two games of
domination okay i you know someone who's played it more than me you know yeah somebody maybe it
feels better maybe it's maybe it's great but look i i'm not interested in it at all uh player
unknowns battlegrounds has like seven and a half million users right now it's going to be cross
platform they're adding a new map,
and the game still isn't released.
I'm a PC gamer.
I'm not going to be on the console playing video games
unless it's a console exclusive that I really fucking love,
and I don't know what that is.
Mouse and keyboard for the win, man.
I love PlayerUnknown's Battlegrounds, and that's where I am.
I won't be playing Call of Duty World at whatever it's called.
World War II?
I'm not going to buy it.
I didn't buy the last one.
What was the most recent one?
I don't know.
It's not the one with Nazi zombies.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I bought the one before Infinite Warfare.
I didn't buy the current one.
And I feel almost bad. I'm supposed to be. Like, I'm supposed to be buying it.
Like, I'm supposed to be playing it. Like, I should be able to jump in and stream it anytime.
But I don't know. I thought that maybe with the broken leg, I'd get back into video games.
That, like, yeah, like, I can totally see myself, like, in my head. I was like, I think Kyle will
play with me. I'll just jump into Kyle's games and we'll have a good time it'll be a blast like i thought that'd be really cool turns out that sitting for long
periods like it swells and it hurts and i don't know i picture a um what is this like a concave
shape with a bend in it right at that bend there are all kinds of folds i think those folds are
pressing against my incision and
it actually is kind of painful so uh hopefully that gets worked out tomorrow but anyway that's
like that's why i'm not sitting at this desk playing video games because it hurts it hurts
right now i play in bed i uh i drug my whole gaming system upstairs and i've got like a glass
topped uh like entertainment centers type shelf thing that i drug as close it I didn't just drag it close to
the mattress I drug it like into the mattress till it's like pressing into the side of the Casper
and I've got that curved big monitor and it's so close to my right thigh as I sit up in bed
that I can just kind of rotate it around and it's like over my leg so I sit up in bed with a keyboard
in my lap and a mouse on a mouse pad on
the side of the mattress and i play battlegrounds just fine um it's that's how i've been doing it
for since i've been playing i used to go downstairs and sit at a desk but it's like nah i i'd rather
just be able to like hop in play three games be like i died every time let me watch a little cnn
and then go back to it as i want or whatever. That game is going to be huge
by the time it's all said and done.
It's going to take over.
People are maining it.
Like, I know LevelCap,
who is a Battlefield player,
he mains Battle...
What is it called? PUBG?
PUBG. That's the acronym.
Yeah, I forget the full name for it.
But yeah, it seems like a lot of...
It seems like that's the game to main.
You know, like way back, way back, way back in the day.
Call of Duty.
If you didn't main Call of Duty, then what were you doing?
No one watches people who main Sonic the Hedgehog.
Now PUBG seems to be the game to main as far as I can see.
It's so good.
And one of the great things about it,
7.5 million users last time I checked,
and the game still hasn't come out in full release,
they're trickling the stuff out to us and it's
not like they just got it sitting on deck like Call of Duty does you know you
get that disc and it's got all the shit already on it they're just gonna trickle
it to you over time no they're they're in development still like they're
currently making a brand new map because these maps are gigantic many kilometers
square and so like the new maps coming soon and new weapons are always getting trickled out and they're adding like big game features like this isn't even close to being
done like you can't vault and and climb yet so there's a there's it there's a lot of skill to
being able to crouch jump perfectly through a window and stuff like that i can't do it the best
players do this like crouch jump maneuver and they can jump out of windows that i am incapable of moving through uh they they do stuff i just can't do but they're going to add
that and they're adding vaulting and like grabbing what grabbing uh like a ceiling and pulling
yourself up and and uh mantling that's what i'm looking for uh all that's coming to the game it's
it's the game is growing constantly it's it's it's really great hmm it's taking over there's i think it's gonna be so much
bigger uh than i i think how many how many copies is battlefield sale because i just i just see this
being bigger than battlefield like break records or something because of how successful it was this
past year that new battlefield i think i know a lot of people love the new battlefield you know
it's world war one and i've watched a lot of clips of it, but I don't know what the sales numbers are like.
I know it's a cool game to watch.
15 million copies of Battlefield 1.
Yeah, we're halfway there.
That's quite a bit.
But is that breaking Battlefield records?
Or breaking, like, what did COD sell?
That was probably, I remember, like,
Holly Fool sold, like, 20 million copies
by the time it was all said and done
or something crazy like that.
So it was probably a Battlefield record.
Well, I'm definitely going gonna buy this new game just because
It's about time
They weren't flying around with jet packs and being robots anymore like that that got stale
So much faster than World War two it did because at least with World War two games
You can kind of immerse yourself a little bit of like oh obviously this is fantasy and nonsense
But this is like a real war this kind of stuff happened you know in quotes for those listening like but
with the spaceman stuff it's like there's never this i'm playing as a robot at this point like
i'm not even a person no part of my character is person i'm a robot who has gatling gun arms and
that's it like and all i do is like all the effort they put into the game is my guy going like
destroyed at the end if you get first place or whatever i don't know i i really did not like That's it. All the effort they put into the game is my guy going like, destroyed!
At the end if you get first place or whatever.
I don't know. I really did not like
any of the most recent CODs. I don't know why I didn't get
into the remastered stuff though because that's actually the
game that I want.
If you have a headset, you can really sound
horror at a level that you can't in the newer games.
I don't know. I don't know why I didn't play it.
You didn't really get into that one.
Me, Kyle, and Chiz went through a phase where we played that a lot yeah we did uh yeah we we played
that a shit ton i'll tell you what like like and this is one of the ama questions actually it's
about pub g it's it's you know woody why won't you play pub g with kyle i bet you really like it
um you would really like it i think maybe i don't think you're in a video game mood or like phase
but maybe there was a certain pride in like i mean mean, kind of in an in real life phase.
And I used to get frustrated by assholes who were like, you know, oh, I stopped playing.
I lost this weight.
I did this.
I did that.
But that kind of happened to me.
Like, you know, I lost some weight.
Maybe the timing is off on that because I was heavy at the time.
But, you know, like my sleep schedule got back intact.
My mental health was better. That's for sure. I was i was happy i was paramotoring i was getting more sunlight and
like those are things that i was really valuing and that's why i didn't get into cod but right
now i've got a broken leg and i'm like man i should play pub g i just wish it didn't hurt
to sit up right let me if i were you this is what i would do i'd get i don't know what it is but i'd
get one of those things that puts your leg in traction and like lifts it up or whatever and i do i'd get a setup going like what kind of what i described
where you're just kind of playing from bed it might sound really awkward but honestly like
i put my keyboard in my lap and i put a mouse pad on the on the mattress and i got i got used to it
like i'm slick with it and i think i'm pretty good at the game my Katie's above one and we went off then when I play with my team I want to play with me
Mitty Smitty and and Rohan and all those guys those guys are fucking good good
game I can come not a liability and not too long you know like like I'm not a
mouse and keyboard like brilliant player but I didn't run a minecraft server and
did it like every day all day for years and uh it's
not the same it's not like picking a pixel off but i can i'm capable ish and it's fun man it's
fun it's it's got because like it's not it's it's different every game like you you drop in and
sometimes it's like oh and i'm dead and sometimes you drop in and it's 30 minutes of like grinding
and and you and your team go on this journey like a mad max style journey where at first you don't have a car and maybe
like Chiz doesn't have a gun yet.
And you're like,
all right,
we'll look after you Chiz.
You know,
we don't want to lose you.
And like,
like stay behind us when we go in this room and like,
Oh,
Chiz,
Chiz,
AK over here.
You want an AK?
Well,
here,
take my M4.
I'll take the AK.
And like,
you find like different items have different rarities and like an eight
times scope is very rare. So, so my group, whenever someone has an eight times, they announce it like,arities, and an eight-time scope is very rare.
So my group, whenever someone has an eight-time,
they announce it like, hey, I have an eight-time scope,
so if anyone else finds a sniper rifle, let me know.
It's yours.
So we play as a team.
Is that how it works?
That's how we play.
If the scope is rare, if anyone finds a sniper rifle,
give it to me.
I don't know.
I just didn't know who got what.
I'll kill you with that rifle if you don't give me the scope.
You can't do anything with the scope by itself got what I'll kill you with that rifle if you don't give me the scope you can't do anything
with the scope by itself other than maybe put it on your
assault rifle and that's not so great but if someone has a
Kar98 which is capable of one shot
killing a person if you get them in the head and they have the correct
helmet on then you want to
hook that guy up with the 8x because he can be much
more lethal with it and that's what you
want you want a lethal group as lethal as you
can be so you swap things like oh
this would mean much more to you than it would to me.
There's a lot of that. And there's constant fluid conversation about that.
Like, my group is constantly talking about who has what.
If you have a level 2 helmet on and you come upon a level 3, you announce, hey, level 2 up for grabs.
I'm taking it off and you know nine times
out of ten someone needs that thing there's tons of that you know what's the opposite of that nazi
zombies and nazi zombies the real incentive is to be the biggest dick shit that anyone's ever
played with right yeah fuck they're like oh are you working that window i killed that zombie on
you now i have points now i can do this you know hey you know what there's a door that needs to be
opened here would be great if someone came along and paid for it
because I'd rather not.
I've always
disliked that about Nazi zombies.
But I really
value what you're talking about.
I don't mind.
I don't want to say out loud,
Taylor plays like that.
But you know what?
If I have the most points, i fucking always buy the doors because
that's the only thing that bothers me is if someone's like i've got 10 000 points but i need
someone else to open it because i want to buy everything and it's like well you were a kid who
got everything they wanted at christmas you don't get that you get to open the next couple doors
you would have made it through willie wong's chocolate factory you'd have fell right into
that big ocean of chocolate right away oh yeah and you would have you're probably chucky aren't you boy i love that
game mechanic that that's like you know hey it's to my advantage to make you the best player you
can be we're stronger as a team a stronger period i think i would like that game so maybe there's
been times when like all right so like an extended magazine for your for your assault rifle it's nice
to go from 30 rounds to 40 but it also works on
the shotgun that's the sega shotgun it's like oh it it'd be nicer for him if he went from having
you know i think it's five rounds to like eight rounds like that's like that's a bigger leg up
than me just getting 10 more rounds of my gun so there's a lot of swapping stuff around and there's
a lot of stuff that's like it doesn't it starts to not feel like a video game it starts to feel
more like role playing or real life when the vehicles and stuff come into play.
So we'll be landing, and someone will be like,
oh, I spotted a vehicle.
I'm going to go get it.
It's a car.
You guys try to find me some loot.
And one guy will parachute off over here
and immediately get the car and come pick us all up.
You live and die as a team.
You lose a guy, you're 25% less effective.
You lose another, you're just about fucked um there's a lot of teamwork and team shooting because health is high
and accuracy is important and there's bullet drop and lead and i love that game man it's excellent
i haven't played this week much but chiz has been playing more than me lately and uh i might get on
the night i like it when people can save each other i don't know maybe you dive too quickly
in that but like in in there were woody craft game modes where like hey taylor and i are in a team we're gonna take out kyle i am not
good enough to beat kyle but you know maybe my health gets down to 10 i get his down to 30 you
finish him and and like i really like that like all right i'm ready get in there that's a big
component of it yeah it's uh it's a lot like um um gears of war with the way the knockdown system
works uh i don't know if gears of war had this component though in pub g uh every time you get Yeah, it's a lot like Gears of War with the way the knockdown system works.
I don't know if Gears of War had this component, though.
In PUBG, every time you get knocked down, the following time you get knocked down,
let's say you get knocked down, someone can revive you in 10 seconds.
They basically touch your shoulder for 10 seconds, and you stand back up with low health,
and you bandage yourself up back to 100%.
Well, the next time you get knocked down, you're bleeding out much faster.
The amount of time they have knocked down you're bleeding out much faster like the
amount of time they have to save you is much lower and every subsequent time that that happens it
increases so it can be a little annoying if you're having a like a a fight with someone who's 600
yards away and you knock the guy out they just keep picking him up but just know that like you're
really whittling down his fighting ability. The fights take place
in all kinds of different
ranges. There's up-close
personal shotgun battles, and there's long,
long-range shit where
the bullet travel time will be like three
fucking seconds before it hits the guy in the head,
which is really satisfying.
And of course, you can change your mic
from open to closed.
So I hit my hotkey, and I'm like, hey, anybody in there?
And you'll hear, yeah, motherfucker, you want some?
It's like, no, actually, I don't.
We're going to keep moving.
You know, there's plenty of that.
Like, I'll spare people sometimes.
I'll come upon a guy who's got nothing, and he'll, like, crouch a couple times,
and I'll be like, very well.
Leave the boots. Leave the boots.
Leave the boots.
Because they've added crates and clothing items.
And last time I checked, if you want a miniskirt in the game, a digital miniskirt, it's about $400 real to hook that up.
And there's dudes out there, grown-ass men, who would never buy a skirt for a woman that costs $400,
but they'll buy themselves a digital one.
And the coats, if you want that coat,
I don't remember how much the coat is,
but it may be more than $400.
The skirt was the hot item last time I checked, though.
That's great.
You want to tell us about something, Kyle?
Yeah.
I'm going to tell you about Bombfell.
Bombfell sent me some nice stuff.
I'll tell you about it in just a second here.
Bombfell is an easier way for men to get better clothes.
When you sign up, you pay $0 because there are no fees when you work with them.
You only pay for the clothes that you keep.
Bombfell is the only service that can make that claim.
They're fully personalized.
Every piece has been handpicked for you by your own stylist.
Your stylist will email you their collection,
after which you'll have 48 hours to make any changes or even cancel altogether.
You're in total control.
It's the most simple, straightforward service around.
They're on your side, and they don't make any money
unless you find something that you want to keep.
Bombfell is completely flexible.
You can receive clothes once a month, two months, or three months, and you can pause or cancel at any time.
The service is actually that straightforward and easy.
You sign up, providing them with your measurements, style preferences, and budget limitations.
Then you set up your order.
Get a preview email from your stylist, and then start receiving your clothing.
It's that simple.
We negotiated with BombFail to get a $25 offer for our
listeners here. So for $25 off your first purchase, visit bombfell.com
slash p-k-a. That's bombfell.com slash p-k-a
b-o-m-b-f-e-l-l dot com. Bombfell.
Open and close. I like that pun. I like it too.
Open and close. Alright so um signed up for
bomb fell uh i uh i i went through a rigorous selection process told him exactly what i liked
and stuff and uh i got a pair of jeans this pair of jeans that i'm wearing right now
i got a very slick button up top and uh i got the softest t-shirt I'd ever gotten in my life.
These jeans are of the same quality as the Children of Humanity.
I always butcher the name.
Citizens.
Citizens of Humanity.
I've got a few pairs of Citizens of Humanity jeans, and those jeans are very pricey.
They can be $300 or close to it.
These are of the same quality, and they're quite a bit cheaper.
They're that kind of...
They're stretchy.
It's probably not
showing on camera at all.
Very comfortable. It's a
stretchy material. It's not like you're wearing spandex
or yoga pants or something, but it's
a denim that stretches. I think it's
100% cotton, maybe. Don't
quote me on that.
The top, I think it's a hundred percent cotton. Maybe I don't, don't, don't, don't quote me on that. But,
um,
the top,
I also like,
I wore the button up top a couple of weeks ago.
It was,
uh,
on PK.
It was like a,
it's like a gray button up.
Uh,
I was going to wear it tonight,
but it's dirty.
Cause I've been wearing it a lot.
I like,
I like it.
I like these clothes that I've gotten from them.
Uh,
no fair.
Chiz,
I want,
I want some cool jeans and a soft shirt.
You can get the next shot at things.
Like,
like I,
Woody got all the free shit for a while.
I feel like I've been on the bandwagon for a while.
Kyle, I think, has surpassed anything I've ever had.
When I got free shit, I don't know if it was as cool as this stuff.
How much of that food did you get?
Exactly.
We're talking about that 100%?
I can wear these jeans once a week.
But you got enough food to feed your whole family for three months.
What was that stuff called?
100% food.
100% food.
Oh, my God.
I got...
Dude, like, it took up room in my garage.
Like, it was really a lot.
You throw it away?
Dude, I heard how Chiz tried to do that for a while, didn't he?
Where, like, Chiz was in on it and bought some. Confirmed for that. You've got crates in your garage. I knew it, Chiz tried to do that for a while, didn't he? Where like Chiz was in on it and bought some.
Confirmed for that.
You've got crates in your garage.
I knew it, Chiz.
How, like, there's no way to have more than one sip
of that 100% food and not immediately be like,
oh no, I ordered enough to like fill a pothole
in the middle of the road.
That's what I will do.
I'll turn this mistake into a civil service.
They never work with us again.
I thought we were funny.
They asked for us to be...
They told me to say whatever I wanted.
Yeah.
They put your review on their website.
It was, you know, it's better than cement
or something like that, you know.
It's better than starving or whatever you wrote.
Quick creep, but it doesn't taste as good.
No, it's not as good.
More vitamins, though.
You know, every time I see a British pronunciation,
it's like, what the?
And I look at the letters and I'm like,
oh, I can see how they got that.
Like aluminium, that makes sense.
Vitamins.
No, aluminium, you're trying way too hard.
You think?
I bet that they, you know, this is my theory.
I think that folks in old England were saying aluminum,
and then they heard us over here saying aluminum,
and they go, that's pretty low class.
Aluminium, eh?
No, you're not going to use aluminium in golf clubs?
Whatever the fuck, that's what I bet they do.
I think there's a conspiracy of British people
changing the way they say words
to influence Americans.
I would say them
the way they say them if I were talking to them.
That's how far I go with copying
someone else's speech patterns and styles.
Every time I do it,
I'll say vitamins.
Why not?
I want to see you roll your eyes
Like you know it rolls off because we have standards Kyle fit and then vitamins I have a topic mineral video I
Hope you haven't seen it before
I'm a word that you might have but that up at zero yep. Oh have you both seen it? Yes?
I was gonna ask you to pause
it at a certain let's play it anyway it's fun I'm down it's funny
ready set play so what's going on here these these calorically proficient young
men are trying to unclog a drain hole it's like a bunch of giant plants in it and they'll get it in a second now
watch this this is the scariest thing coming
they're jumping on the whoa kid gone another kid gone
Can't quite.
Holy.
Yeah.
Then he pops out the other side.
That guy's not as happy.
No.
That guy's like, oh my God, life could have just ended.
And it's only going to be on YouTube.
Yeah, the kid gives no fucks. He's a kid.
The adult's like, I almost died just there in a goddamn drain pipe.
Yeah.
I almost died in a drain pipe today.
They all should have known.
Like, if you're unclogging a drain pipe
and you're in the side with all the water
and the other end is in the side,
it's just the pressure.
You believe that water's going to start going through.
Like, they should have known better
than to have some kid fussing around.
What's the way that you're doing it?
Like, it's one thing, it's dumb to, like,
stand on the side and slowly pick things out.
It's mega dumb to jump on it with your feet in the pipe.
Yeah, there's only one way this ends.
Yeah, with you potentially drowning.
Hopefully there's not a thick stick in that tube
and then you spend the last 45 seconds of your life.
Oh, yeah, or a grate.
What if there's a grate on the exit to stop people from going?
I don't even say that.
What a nightmare scenario.
Can you imagine?
That would be a reason to sue
someone.
To sue the guys?
Kicking the bushes?
Well, no. It'd be for your family to do
because you'd be dead.
And real bloated, too,
because it'll be a while before they get you out of that grave.
Oh, it's not going to be a good funeral.
It's not going to be classy.
They might as well just bury you inside that tube.
Yeah, leave you in the tube.
Yeah, just put some plants back in the front where they were before
and you're all set.
It seems just yesterday Jim Bob was jumping on refuse
trying to knock it through that pipe.
It's because it was yesterday.
So this AMA question,
by the way,
patreon.com slash pka,
I think for $10 a month,
you get pka early
and the ability to ask AMA questions.
And access to pkan video,
which is incredibly important.
So it says,
to Kyle,
but open to all the hosts,
how do you respond to a girl
that won't turn her off? I'm sorry, it's not written perfectly. How do you respond to a girl that won't turn her off?
I'm sorry. It's not written
perfectly. How do you respond to a girl that won't turn her
off when she starts talking dirty to you
via text or sends nudes?
I feel that any photos I could send back
would be attractive, but I'm not that
great at talking dirty. So she's
talking dirty and sending nudes and he doesn't
know where to go from there. I'm trying to understand
that I'm reading to understand this.
I'm reading it right now.
Talk to her and say, you like that, you fucking retard?
The Reddit thing.
Yeah.
Wait, so is that what you're saying?
It's on a case-by-case basis, first of all.
It depends what your version of dirty talk is or what kind of picture she's sending along.
But first of all, what do you mean you can't come up with a picture of yourself that you could reply back with like
like um that's not how i read it yeah any photos i could send back would be attractive yeah i
understood what he said but but what i mean is like where are you coming from with that bro like
like do you mean that you find yourself to be unappealing and or like are you no you're not
reading it right he said I think any pictures I send
would be attractive,
but I'm not that good
at dirty talking.
So I think what he's saying
is that he feels confident
sending an image of himself
that is good looking,
but that he's not confident
in the dirty talk,
in like whatever's happening.
Yeah, I'm really good at this.
Tell her what you want to do.
And don't just be like,
I don't want to fuck you.
Like, okay,
you've really bored the fucking shit out of me bro late like start at the beginning like I I don't know your sense your skin
So soft I I just like touching you being close to you. I want to kiss your neck I want to kiss your ears and I just want to touch all of you and squeeze and grab and I want to make out
Cuz your lips
I want to make out because your lips are so sexy.
You guys want to call the show?
I want to smell your hair.
No, keep going. Step by step with exactly what you want to do.
I don't know.
I really just want you to sit on my face.
I just want you to grind that perfect pussy in my mouth
because it just turns me on so much just to be near you,
and I want to be as close to you as I can.
You turn me on so much all the time.
You're all I think about.
Be honest.
Just tell her what you...
Yeah, do all those things.
Yeah, it's all those things. Yeah. Tell her exactly what you want to do. That's all I think about. Be honest. Just tell her what you... Yeah, do all those things.
Tell her exactly what you want to do.
If she's talking dirty, then you talk dirty back.
Tell her exactly what you want to do.
And if you're not creative, then...
I was just saying, don't say
you're all I think about, because that comes off
a little thirsty. Yeah, yeah, and maybe not that one.
Maybe not that one.
It depends which step of the Kyle
system you're in I gotta finish up a and B but you must see bitch you know if you really did
write down a Kyle system it would go pretty viral people would refer to it all the time
I hope it's KYLE like it involves the letters yeah yeah it would have to be and then we should all make our own
i know what i'm doing with the d
honesty like don't lie to her at all tell her the hundred percent truth like if she asks you
a question be completely fucking straight with don't ever lie and uh and be really straightforward
with what you want and why you want it but you can't
ever let them think and it's not true for me it's this that you're only interested in like sex like
like no no no it's it's like i just wanted to come like i'm probably better at making that happen
than you are but what i what i want is like everything that that i the whole package and
then start listing what the package is tell her all the things about her that you appreciate
and that stand out about her and make her unique
and different. And every girl is different in their own
way.
Like, every girl I've ever
known has something about them that's
oh man, I wish I could combine all of you
into one perfect person, but
I can't, so I just appreciate
you know, whatever it is
about them that makes them special and unique
and like I said, everybody's got one of those
Oh, I'm gay! Fuck you, Chiz!
Fuck you, Chiz!
I don't think Chiz gets gay, because this is the most
hetero shit I've ever heard
Dude, you gotta do
some gay things if you want to fuck women
Women like gay things
Yeah, they do
This explains the candle making.
I mean, one or two, that's all it takes.
If the candle making
never leads to anything, I'm going to continue it
because I'm having fun with this.
But the thing about this, if
a girl comes over from Tinder mayhaps,
well, absolutely,
it's going to happen, but when
she comes over, dinner's being
made, doing all that.
Candle making.
That's like, like women love crafts.
Women love crafting things.
And then being able to take it and be like, oh, this is something I made.
It's eucalyptus.
Do you know that?
And it's like, that's interesting.
I guarantee nobody's ever taken her candle making before.
And note is that I'm not wasting any of my expensive Amazon soy wax on these floozies because it's too hot a temperature it's very special b uh s&m wax is completely different
than candle wax okay you want to send someone to the hospital you break out that fucking soy wax
you got in there you absolutely i'm i i don't unless a girl really wanted to to be fair there
are a lot of fetish things that if the girl really wanted to, you'd be like,
whatever, I'll dress up as the mailman. I don't give a shit.
It doesn't...
If they told me I really...
I got an oversized package.
I'm not sure if it's going to fit in the slot.
I have a fantasy where I'm Julius
Caesar's lover, and I'm blowing him
as he's bleeding out from all the stab rooms
after...
I was telling you
guys last night, there's that girl that wanted me...
There's the girl that wanted me to cut her
and drink her blood.
And it's just like...
Okay. No, not really.
No, I was like, no,
I can't cut... I've had two different girls that wanted
me to cut them, though. Two different girls
that wanted me to cut them, but one
wanted us to like
drink the blood and like i don't know like the blood to be in my mouth and then us to make out
with the blood and like she she's like yeah this is like from from fetishistic to like
sadistic and serial killer is wanting to drink her own blood i wasn't down with that i actually
think elitist said i was down with that because I think before that I was like,
I don't care. I'm up for anything.
And she was like, yeah, why don't you cut me
and we drink my blood together.
And I was like, shit, she called my bluff,
but she lives pretty far away
and we're not starting off with blood drinking first thing.
So yeah, I'll drink your blood.
A special knife, because I do.
This is my blooding knife like i cut all the bitches with
it don't worry i clean it first like i'll go ramsay on you dude but it's crazy like just how
much like you at least me and it sounds like kyle as well it's like i'd be willing to roll with
like if they like you i want you to dress up like abe lincoln and just be abe all day and i'm
gonna put makeup on the back of your head for like an exit wound or something like that like it
wouldn't matter it wouldn't matter at all dressing up who cares if it was like i want you uh we're
gonna do it in public as long as there's no chance of getting on a sex offender registry it can be
public like a reasonable a reasonable kind of public not like on a park bench where it's like oh okay well we're
we're we're worth going to jail after this right because there are children like no i that wouldn't
be worth it but like yeah you and i spoke about this just last night about the public sex thing
like that like i had sex in like the uh this like i had sex in the back room of a winery one time
but the one that really stands out to me is like, we were at this,
what is that?
It's a hotel,
but they also serve dinner there.
It's called Chateau Elan.
Anyone works at Chateau Elan in Georgia?
I fucked in the back room,
one of those ballrooms in there
on top of one of them big fancy tables.
But the whole time,
I'm like,
can we just wrap this up at home?
Like, we're one nosy bus boy
away from really fucking up here like i don't want to get like there's gonna be a walk of shame out
of chateau elan in just a minute like when they catch me in here like like i i didn't enjoy that
and i think she did but i the whole time both times i was just like i don't like this like like
i would be okay if we were like outside in my
yard and like the at night or even in the daytime or whatever like somewhere private i'm not fucking
in a yard at night and just gonna get eaten alive by mosquitoes like that i can't imagine a worse
place to fuck than in the grass in the law my friends are there with their georgia so you know
that that kind of keeps the bugs away. Everybody's out there.
Their torches chanting.
Their citronella candles and their uplifting chants.
Uplifting for them, you know, like one person's uplifting moment is another's dirty, dirty Nazi.
I saw a really funny post on Reddit.
They're like, now the KKK remembers why they always wore masks.
Yeah.
Yeah, because it turns out nobody likes them.
They lose their jobs.
They'll tell on you and shit.
And you don't maybe want everybody to know that you're the scum of the earth or whatever.
I'm trying to think of more fun little hobby kind of things, kind of like candle making that I could pick up.
Cooking.
Cooking.
Look, do cooking.
I'm so into cooking right now. I watched, uh, maybe 30 hours of Gordon Ramsey in the last
couple of weeks. My, my fridge is full of gourmet ingredients right now. Last night I cooked filet
mignon and twice baked potatoes and made a nice blue cheese salad. Uh, I was going to cook tonight,
but I haven't eaten today. So I'm going to eat some hot dogs in a minute, but like tomorrow night,
it's going to be lamb chops. The next night it's chicken Parmesan. i'm just taking every and then fish and chips i'm taking every one of gordon
ramsay's recipes and doing my best to duplicate it i'm sure he would scream at me cursing if he
if he it's fucking raw or whatever it says um but i'm really cooking i'll give that a go cooking is
like it's it's so essential to know how to do it's almost not even a hobby and i in in like
critique of myself i do need to get better at it but i was thinking more just like other little
things like i'm i'm trying to think because i i'm in the same boat as woody that i've really really
lost interest in video games over the last few months like i just it's probably been three months
since i've turned on a video game at this point. Almost. Since the last time I played Total War
Warhammer, I don't think I've turned on either one
of my consoles or anything.
I'm just trying to think. What are little fun
things that you do that aren't like crocheting?
Because that seems like a good way to...
That seems boring and stupid.
I like Kyle's idea
of cooking. I think not only would it be
an awesome life skill, it could be a health thing.
Girls would love it. It's a really
cool talent to have. Playing a musical instrument
is a neat one.
My dad came over last night and I cooked dinner
for my dad and Kitty.
I cooked some
three inch thick filet mignons
and those delicious potatoes. My dad was like,
I'm really impressed.
This is really good.
I was like, yeah, no sweat. I can do lots of things.
I've been learning things this whole time. I can do all kinds of shit, motherfucker.
I'm a pretty good cook.
Wait, what did you say?
I can do all kinds of shit.
Yeah, I can do all kinds of shit.
Oh, I uh, when I was
When I was trying to think of stupid little things, like hobbies,
and magic came to mind.
Not Magic the Gathering,
magic, like, I remember in high school, I was trying to think of stupid little things like hobbies, and magic came to mind. Not Magic the Gathering, magic.
Oh, I like that.
I remember in high school, we were drunk at a friend's house or something.
There was a lot of guys and gals there hanging out,
and it got to be late at night, and everybody was like,
I guess I was pretty drunk.
And I walked in, and it was some guy doing magic tricks with cards
for a couple girls, and I'd in and it was some guy like doing like magic tricks with cards for a
couple girls and i'd never done it before i don't know why but i just was like let me see all those
and i grabbed them all and i like just moved them around a bit and i just went right right to the
guy's face sitting there he wasn't that drunk and i just bent the cards and forced out of my went
i'm an illusionist and i just sprayed them all right into his face all the girls thought it was funny and so it panned out but it was such a rude thing
to do why did I do that oh so shitty Taylor yes yes oh so shitty I used to be able to do
I had like uh I had one magic trick I could do this that and the other uh just just youtube
search this that and the other if anyone's curious.
I practiced that. I made my own cards because you need your own cards to do it.
I practiced it endlessly because the first time I saw it,
I was blown the fuck away. This guy wasn't a magician. He was just a guy
showing a cool trick. I was like, if he can do it, then I can do it
even better. I got these crazy fingers like I I can I I can I can do this and I got so good at it that I would take it
to the poker game with me and I'd pull out my this that and the other card it's you need three cards
that you make yourself I'd spray painted regular playing cards and wrote magic marker on them just
I think as the guy on the internet had and I'd do that trick and then people wouldn't want me to
deal I'd have to show them how then people wouldn't want me to deal.
I'd have to show them how the trick worked so they knew that I wasn't like some master,
like card lifter or something.
It's not that I'm a card mechanic.
It's not that you're a card mechanic. It's some basic stuff.
It's nothing crazy, but if you do it correctly,
and there's a bit of showmanship to it as well.
You tell a story as you reveal cards and you're like oh a friend
came to me the other day and he you tell this whole story the guy the guy is british in the
video i can still think of his accent but when you finish this thing up and they get the finale of it
it's the kind of trick that like is ramping up as you go and every time you you're doing like
many tricks in a row and it's like oh that was cool how did you do that oh that's even cooler how are you doing that oh my god the whole time the whole time you
were doing that at the end you're blowing the fuck away it's it's really
easy to do though if you want to learn how to do it this that and the other I
know that I'm a question for me that I want to answer someone wrote woody I
missed the vlogs about the progress of the wood shop what happened there when
are we going to see some project videos?
So I did take a break, but I got back into it before my trip, actually.
Some of my machines require a dust collection system.
So if you watch my paramotor videos, you know Tim with the big bushy beard?
He likes woodworking.
So we decided that we were going to get the shop up and then build doors.
Like my stable has five doors that are kind of shitty
one's even missing and it's like let's do that and make it first class you know do like good
game of thrones style heavy doors and uh so we started to have the dust collection mounted it
on the wall and bought all the tubing and stuff and then i went on my vacation and i broke my leg
so that's where the woodworking stands right now i can't really get around i i like i'll eat dishes i'll eat like food and be like honey can you carry my dish back to the kitchen because that's where the woodworking stands right now. I can't really get around.
I'll eat dishes.
I'll eat food.
I'll be like, honey, can you carry my dish back to the kitchen?
Because that's really hard on crutches.
It drips and stuff.
And I can't imagine carrying lumber right now.
But anyway, I was getting into it. And we started cleaning up machines and getting them going.
And it stopped.
Someone asked what we thought about the newest season of Rick and Morty.
I think it's the worst season thus far.
Mixed, I like it.
There's several episodes that really feel hyper-weak.
The most recent one where Jerry and Rick go on their own adventure.
Best episode of the year, I thought.
It was to me.
I really, really dug it.
I liked it a lot and i'll tell you what it brought back that i i like the most about rick and morty it's the
darkness it's the darkness that's real it's the kind of shit that like you can you can like oh
yeah that that's just how fucking life is yeah like the the episode with unity back in season
one or two whatever where rick almost kills himself with that machine.
And then he just puts a day bitches out at the end or whatever and just sits there and cries on his table.
That was dark. But this episode, you got Jerry in this situation with his family where it starts off and his life is so dark and pathetic.
And like he's like looking up at the stain on the ceiling and in that stain he's seeing like a happy family and stuff.
And then he comes back out of it and it's just dark, empty sadness.
And then of course, you know, Rick comes in.
Ah, good! Jerry and Rick adventure!
And he's like dragging him out with no pants.
He's like, I'll make you a new pair of pants.
They'll be better than your pants you've ever bought, Jerry.
Like, come on.
And then the whole thing, you know, they get to that place and that child murders that other fucking child, you know, out of nowhere.
And there's many, many dark moments.
The way that Rick sort of, for the first time, turned the mirror back on Jerry and said, you're just a predator who uses your own weakness for it.
That was some, like, heavy shit.
Like, you can imagine, like, if that were you or, you know, if someone lays that much heavy shit on you, and you're like, oh my god, like, you're right.
Holy shit.
Like, I just realized what a piece of shit I am.
Like, it had that kind of realness to it.
I liked that episode a lot.
And then I get silly.
That's why I, and I'm glad you said that, too.
That's why I like Pickle Rick.
Pickle Rick!
Right? Like, you juxtapose him turning himself into a pickle
with the much more serious issue
of him dodging family therapy.
Right? Like, he'll do anything.
And the family not wanting to admit
that he lies to them routinely.
You know? Like, hey, does anyone
think they know what is in the syringe?
And they all sort of, like, have a hard time
admitting that they all know damn well it's an
anti-pickle serum in the syringe. But're they're not ready to admit that rick rise to the lies to them routinely
that juxtaposed with rick as a pickle with rat arms just like ripping things apart like hey rat
do you know why i don't have a special name for you like scar or ironborn or it's because you're
nothing to me you're not even special you should should have impressed those. I like that bit.
I mean, there were some funny parts, but it really
felt like they had six minutes
of an episode and 14 minutes
of rat fighting, which got stale
very quickly. Not for me.
I really liked the episode.
I didn't really like it. I didn't
hate it as much as Taylor. I'm somewhere in between,
you guys. I think I would have liked it a lot more
had that been the very first time I saw all the
rat-killing animation, because I had seen
months and months ago this sort of black
and white... Sketch line drawings.
Sketch. It wasn't just the
rats, to be fair. It was like the assassin
part at the end. That wasn't funny either.
Yeah, that seems sort of weird and contrived,
but that's because it's a parody of...
He's like, hey, I have endless daughters.
There was one time where I switched it for whatever
and the guy's like, do I have endless daughters?
Do I have endless daughters?
Yeah, because his whole life is devoted to just hoping
that he could be reconnected with his daughter.
The guy's been in prison for years and this and that.
And Rick is such an asshole.
He's like, nah, just me.
Nah, just me.
And he doesn't reconnect him with a daughter
and it's just like, ah.
You know there's a universe out there
in which the dad is dead and the daughter is lonely and they could reunite them.
Totally.
But Rick doesn't care because he fucking cares.
He's such a dick.
Because Rick knows there's another universe where nothing bad ever happened to the dad and daughter and they're living happily ever after.
And it doesn't make a fucking difference about any of them.
Because he's a nihilist.
Because he doesn't care.
And I can wear on you for a while.
But look, I'm still on board Rick and Morty.
I'm going to watch it until they stop making it.
They'd have to do something really silly like, I don't know,
delve into some sort of real-life politics
and get weird about gender or something like that.
They'd have to offend me before I'd stop watching.
I dig the show.
I like the voice actors.
There's only a handful of them. I like the show. I like the voice actors. There's only a handful of them.
I like the show.
It's a good show.
And the narrative is changing.
This ain't The Simpsons, right?
Homer never moved out for four or five episodes.
Shit's happening.
It's a real drama.
I just realized I haven't watched any of The Archer.
I know you guys didn't like it, but I might.
Skip it.
Fucking skip that shit and you'll be better off.
Don't waste your brain cells
on that shit.
Let me just spoil it for you.
No!
I just lay around
with an elevated leg
and nothing to do
all the time, Kyle.
That's fair.
No spoilers.
I really need some content.
Garbage.
It's garbage.
Watch Ozark.
Both of you watch Ozark.
I didn't like it.
I finished it. What? Yeah. You watched the whole thing and you didn't like it? Everybody I didn't like it. I finished it.
What?
Yeah.
You watched the whole thing and you didn't like it?
Everybody seems to really like it.
I know.
It's all over my Facebook feed now.
Paramotor people are telling me, like, oh, Broken Leg, you should check out Ozark.
And I don't have the heart to tell them that it wasn't my cup of tea.
I don't know.
You know it's not like an anthology.
There's a season two.
There's no season two? No, no. There is a season two. It's not like an anthology. There's a season two. There's no season two?
No, no. There is a season two.
It's not an anthology show.
Have you ever seen American Horror Story, Woody?
Here's what I would suggest.
That show is so hit or miss.
It's very hit or miss.
Here's the show for you, Woody.
The Shield.
Oh, that old cop thing.
Yeah, that guy.
Michael Chiklis.
I think Family Guy made a joke that no matter how buff he gets, he still looks fat.
He'll always just look fat.
So just to lay out the scenario, he's got special needs children,
and he becomes a dirty cop in a way to provide for them.
This extra income that he's getting is for them.
And he's not dirty like he's taking bribes
from the mob or anything and like and shit like that he's got his own shit going on like like
he'll confiscate stuff and then sell it he he'll torture people there's a bad guy at one point
whose thing is every time he rapes a woman he forcibly puts a dove tattoo on their face. And there's a little...
What kind of Hitler monster is this guy?
This is a level of evil that's not even seen in real life.
He's representing the cartel in L.A., the way I remember it.
He slides into town, and he's the big bad for that season.
And he's just a real scary, really intelligent guy.
He's a smart villain. He's not a dumb-dumb.
And he's kind of a mastermind.
His apartment's, like, empty except for, like,
a little furniture and books and shit. So
there's been this little girl
who's, like, gonna rat this guy out
until, like, 80% through the
episode she comes stumbling up all crying
with a fucking dove tattoo to
her face. She's, like, seven or something like or something like that chickless goes to this guy's house fucking gets him in like
that arm lock like the cops do like behind your back the chicken puts his face puts his face on
the eye of the fucking stove he's like you're gonna leave town now and the guy's like no he's
like you're gonna leave now and like it's i think it's fx
maybe they show this shit it's the goriest shit you've ever seen on tv is this guy's face melts
like the fucking hound he doesn't fucking care he's just got these crazy scars and he keeps being
the big bad guy he won't leave town he melts the guy's face halfway off until his partners have to
be like get off him you're gonna melt him to death!
And that guy just keeps being the bad guy.
Jesus, even
Schillinger and Oz didn't
tattoo them after... No, no.
Never mind.
Yeah, tattooed him beforehand.
Okay, alright.
They end up in
trouble with... So he's as bad as the Nazi
from Oz. Okay. Yeah, they end up
in trouble with the Armenian mob he's as bad as the Nazi from Oz. Okay. Yeah, they end up in trouble with like the Armenian mob.
And the Armenian mob's thing is they like chop your feet off with a fucking axe or something like that.
So that's happening all the time.
I highly recommend The Shield.
Okay.
And like he's always like stressed out with his wife and his children.
And he loves the children so much.
Is it streaming
anywhere like Netflix or HBO? I purchased it back in the day about two years ago like I just bought
all the seasons I think like I started off like I'll buy one episode for like I think they're
like two dollars and then I bought three and then it was like I did the quick math and it's like
if I buy the season right now then I won't lose any money but if I buy one more episode on its
own and then buy the season then I'll pay more than just buying the season so now, then I won't lose any money. But if I buy one more episode on its own and then buy the season,
then I'll pay more than just buying the season.
So I'm like, alright, season bought. And then it was like,
ah, season two, season three, and I think they
get cheaper as you go, maybe. So, like,
it's very good. And the ending
of the whole series is
better than what the fucking Sopranos did.
They know how to close a show out.
Well, that
sounds good. I'll have to check that out.
Oh, I don't know if it's show news, but I see my ortho doctor tomorrow, and I am very jazzed.
People might not know.
This is what I know about my leg.
There's four bones that hold your foot on.
I broke three.
I may have said this.
And the doc beforehand was like, I have to fix one.
That's clear.
I might have to fix two, and then the rest will be held in place. Well, I ended up fixing two,, I have to fix one. That's clear. I might have to fix two.
And then the rest will be held in place.
Well, he ends up fixing two.
But I don't know how.
Like, I know, I think there's a plate on one side.
The other side may just have screws.
I haven't seen x-rays.
When he told me how to care for it, there wasn't a lot of back and forth because I was post-op, right?
And I was like anesthesia and drugged out and such.
So all I really took away from the post-op was he fixed two bones the third one's gonna be okay on its own and baby it
don't put weight on it don't bump it just take really good care of it and that's the darkness
i've been in for like the last 10 days just like i don't know how it's gonna heal i don't know what
to expect in terms of like walking recovery, PT.
I don't, I don't know, like, should I upgrade crutches to some sort of scooter? Should I,
like, I don't know anything. And tomorrow all my questions get answered and I'm really excited
about that. And, um, uh, as a guy who breaks himself from time to time, like I've got a
relationship with my orthopedic surgeon and um i really like him so
we're gonna go sync up tomorrow and it's tomorrow morning 9 20 and i'm gonna be there and i'm gonna
that's good hopefully good news uh if you're not busy next month i'm gonna go to six flags and i
could uh yeah yeah oh nice it'd be so it'd suck for you because like the rides are
bumpy and you'd be getting hurt if you even got on so you'd have to be literally yeah i'd be loving
it i did it and i get a wheelchair right like because crutches i like i'm like who needs
kettlebells when i walk around on my hands everywhere like this is exhausting i've shown
my bruises the muscles in here like whatever these are, I remember when I was on crutches for six weeks,
I'd flex and I was like,
oh, maybe I'll stay on these a little longer.
It's an interesting little workout you get.
I saw your palms.
I never got that.
I'm wearing out the crutches.
I don't know if that probably doesn't seem to show very well,
but the padding on the top here is not padding anymore.
It's like a millimeter thick.
It's practically a hole.
And yeah.
Going upstairs was so scary.
I can remember like in the gym in high school,
it was a very vertical stair.
So like it's covering,
you're going up about 12 feet,
but you're doing that in very few horizontal feet.
And I just remember going up them
like i've been on the things for a couple weeks so i was getting pretty confident and it's just
like chicka chicka chicka chicka chicka chicka and one of one time i kind of i like i did that
whoa like going backwards almost kind of thing and it was like i caught myself but it was like
holy fuck if i went backwards off these motherfuckers i might not ever be the same
again i'd be taking the elevator up.
Were they concrete stairs?
Yes.
I remember they're painted green.
That was our colors.
And it was like bright, slippery green.
It wasn't even like skateboard. Like where it always looks wet?
I don't have that.
Both the stairways in my house have a 90-degree turn in them.
So like one side is happy and wide,
and the other side is like big enough for the toe of my crutch.
And it's like, ah, this is a little fucking dicey here, you know?
If that one moves a centimeter, it slides off the step, and I'm screwed.
I've never had to use crutches, ever.
Really?
I don't even know how many times I've used crutches.
I mean, it's not a ton, like four or five.
Pretty sure it was just once for me when I broke my foot or ankle or whatever.
Yeah, everyone accuses me, like, oh, there's a midlife crisis no bitches like this is not my first
rodeo this is how i do things so you know how i'll have you know i'm i'm injuring myself frequently
this isn't a fad for me i've been hurting myself before you were born.
It's funny you say that,
but I think you're literally on target there.
Yeah, you are.
I am.
Yeah, but yeah, for me personally,
I'm super jazzed about seeing the surgeon tomorrow and just knowing what to expect.
It could be six weeks,
it could be six months.
I don't know.
Well, just so our Patreons know,
you are owed a couple of hangouts,
and that's coming quite soon,
so be on the lookout for those emails.
We'll be seeing you all very soon,
and if you would like to become a Patreon
so that you can do these several hours,
we promise an hour,
but inevitably,
I don't think we've done one
that was less than two hours before,
and we did one that was like
three hours and 45 minutes one time where it's just me and woody sitting there
chatting with a group of fans and it's not a huge group or anything it's it's been as many as like
12 i think or 14 or something but it's been as few like maybe if like an email didn't get read
or whatever like he was like three or four and something and and one of those guys ends up
inevitably doesn't talk too much he's just just there for the experience, I suppose.
And so I know the guys pretty well that we have those hangouts.
The guy with the beard I like a lot.
And the guns.
Yeah, whose parents are quite wealthy, it seems.
I like him a lot.
The guy whose girlfriend thought he was cheating because he wanted to watch VR porn
and kicked him out of the bedroom.
That was pretty cool.
I like that guy a lot.
That was great.
It's fun hanging out with you guys in there.
If you're interested in that, check out our Patreon down below.
Like what he was saying earlier,
the $10 one is definitely the sweet spot
unless you really value coming and hanging out
with us. Make it happen.
Check out our Patreon.
The $50 one that involves the hangout,
they all have a story on how they're able to afford that. And I think that makes, that's something that's neat. Like, oh yeah,
I do this or my parents do that. They're all, there's nobody in there who was like, ah, I saved
up and got my pennies together. They're all like, you know, I, I, I, I've had four startup companies.
I'm 17, you know, like that, you know, it's, it that. It's really interesting, bright, entrepreneurial
spirited, impressive human
beings. I feel like when we go in there, I'm
just as interested in hearing their
story as perhaps they are in speaking
to me about whatever. It's good shit.
I like those. That's exactly it.
Is that a show?
That's a show. Check out our sponsors down below.
Bomb, Fell, CISO
and Lyft.
Is there a post read I have in my head?
Am I wrong? Tell me I'm wrong.
That's it? We're good?
You're wrong.
Roger that. Alright, PKA 349.