Painkiller Already - Painkiller Already #351
Episode Date: September 15, 2017This week on PKA, Harley Morenstein from Epic Meal Time is back again! All of the guys talk Hurricane Harvey aftermath, review a ridiculous BLM list of demands for white people and then they all talk ...about the Game of Thrones finale!
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And we're live.
Painkiller Ready, episode 351 with our guest Harley.
Kyle?
A few sponsors tonight.
Bombfell, Meet Undies, Lyft, and DraftKings.
You can check them out in the links down below if you just can't wait.
But don't worry.
We'll get to them later on.
Yeah, I got Harley with us tonight.
Lots of cool topics.
We're going to get to some that you guys have been requesting that we get to.
So don't worry.
Hold on to your pants.
There's going to be Game of Thrones talk.
Na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na.
But first, where are we going to?
That was a bit of an oversight to not talk about Game of Thrones talk. Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah. But first, where were we going? That was, you know, that was a bit of an oversight
to not talk about Game of Thrones.
We must have done it in like PKN or something.
That's what I was thinking.
We must have done it in PKN.
And we often wildly overestimate.
I know we didn't, but it sometimes feels like we do.
And then it's easy to overestimate
when you talk about stuff like Game of Thrones
or Rick and Morty or whatever, because it's just one show and you kind of tend about stuff like game of thrones or rick and morty
or whatever because it's just one show and you kind of tend to be like well i don't know let's
kind of move off that but you know i'm excited to talk about game of thrones but in another cultural
uh exciting event burning man this year there's a super super interesting too bad we don't have
dick masterson here he's a big burning man guy he goes every year uh maybe he saw this apparently they have big fires at burning man where they burn wicker men and this gentleman
i would assume he's on mdma there's a picture of him running uh in in the article there and he just
ran right into the fire and he burned to death. That gives totally new meaning to the spirit molecule, right?
Like, he just burnt
up and went away. Like, that's, honestly,
that's a great way to go if you're
that kind of person. Burning alive is
one of my least favorite ways to go.
He didn't feel a thing. I mean,
I want to be sensitive
a little bit because, you know, a person
actually died here. But
at the same time, I mean,
he didn't just go to Burning man he became burning man and like he went all in like and he was probably telling people on the way up like yo i'm not just going to burning man
this year i am burning man this year he may have done and they're going to be a lot of tasteless
graphic tees sold at burning man next year picturing that silhouette of the guy running in or maybe on fire.
Do they sell things there?
I was under the impression that it's like all an intense barter system there.
I've never been.
I have no idea.
I was under the impression that money is no good there, but people bring their goods and people have very specific skills and they'll do those skills in
exchange for drugs
or food. I like this. How many whippets
does it cost to get a blowjob? That's what I
want to know.
You need to make sure she's still conscious
at the end of it. It's the other way around
actually. It's actually like, whose dick
do I gotta suck for a whippet?
Well, actually, that's the same.
That's two sides of the same coin.
I'm the guy with the tank of Whippets.
Yeah, it's the flip side.
I'm the dick you've gotta suck.
If you go with 1,700, you know, Whippets,
being like, I hope I get 1,700 blowjobs,
like, no, you'll probably get 1,700 blowjobs.
Like, a blowjob per Whippet.
Like, you're good there.
You're a god.
I don't know anything about burning.
You have to be a god to get 1,700 blowjobs.
I don't mean to expose my age, but a couple blowjobs in and I'm really satiated.
We're good here.
Yeah, when I get to like number nine, I'm just going to –
like thanks for trying.
Like we're done here for the day.
I'm getting chased.
Like my dick looks like – No, no. I'm getting chased. My dick looks like...
I'm just like,
you know what?
Just breathe on it while it's soft then.
Just breathe on it.
It's all wrong. You're thinking that you're going to
go to completion with each one
of these many women, but there's not time for that.
A whippet lasts like 10 seconds.
A blowjob lasts like 10 seconds.
So you're getting like 10 seconds of a blowjob from each girl.
You're maximizing your numbers here.
You're guaranteed an STD.
I was about to say, that's good, because I was worried I wouldn't have an STD at the end of this.
Kyle really locked that in.
Kyle, that's like, can you imagine the festering wet dick you would have 11 girls into this Burning Man fiasco.
Like, these girls, I assume, didn't brush their teeth that morning or anything like that.
And I was thinking about the bartering system.
I bet if cash is good for anything there, it's just good for drugs.
Like, it's all, like, bartering.
Like, hey, man, like, you give me, like, a Sprite and I'll give you half of this ham sandwich.
And they're like, yeah, I mean like we all just work at our core competencies.
You know, this is how things should work.
You have any pot?
Yeah, that's going to be a 70 for an eighth.
Yeah, I'm sorry.
It's really expensive here because I'm a drug dealer.
I feel like the drug, it's got to be a crazier drug.
Like pot is just like, yeah, man, pass it around, but like it's the other stuff
It's the old man drug words. You know how much this shit cost me
Like drop the fucking Burning Man gig for a second here
You know how much this shit costs bro, and you just dropped it on the floor. You owe me a hundred bucks
So what drug do you think this guy was on to run into?
I've just seen images of this stuff like like you i know very little about
burning man it always seemed very odd to me i i what but the images i see are always like festival
chicks who are like naked or body painted and that's always attractive or it's those gigantic
wicker men that they've built and by gigantic i mean it is 75 feet tall to me burning man has
looked like uh from pictures and stuff it's looked like Mad Max a triple X porn
parody yes and that's
what it looks like for me just looking at
pictures and then the things that I hear
I mean the last time I was on we were talking
about like the cougar tent right there's a tent where you go
fuck a cougar something like that
yeah so I mean like I don't know
I only hear these legends and stuff like
that and
so at that SIV course that param course, that paragliding thing I took where they teach you to do acrobatics,
the people there never miss a Burning Man.
They were talking about it.
It was like coming up or happening or something.
And the guys were like, yeah, Burning Man is so easy to get laid.
Like everybody's getting laid at this thing.
And I was like, I just don't buy it.
There's no world in which women
freely have sex with anybody.
And they're like, Burning Man is that world.
I feel like
at the same time,
though, Woody, I feel like at the same time
It's called Tinder.
I was like,
you know, it's just not that easy to get
that many hot girls
To fuck you
You've been out of the game a little while
They're still going
They don't have to be hot
Stay in your weight class
And you'll get some action
Stay in your weight class
You know
Where you are
If you're 7, stop aiming at 10s
You're going to miss
I thought you meant I should look for other 200 pound girls You know where you are. If you're seven, stop 80-minute tens. You're going to miss.
Oh, I thought you meant I should look for other 200-pound girls.
How much do you weigh?
Fucking perfect.
I've thought of a great thing to do.
I've never gone to Burning Man, and it doesn't seem like my jam really.
But if I did ever go, I would do the whip it thing where you buy a tank.
But I would buy a tank of helium and put a GoPro on my chest to people for free and
See how many people I could doop into pretending to be high or people who just love or addicted to whip it So they're like oh, thanks a lot man
What did you even give me here?
Idiot and that's an element that we're running out of.
So this joke is expensive.
There's a cap on that.
Yeah, absolutely.
Same thing with silver.
I'm pretty sure that we've mined all the silver there is.
How can we know that?
I don't know.
That is a good point.
That's a thing we don't get to know.
We haven't even drilled through our own earth.
We got valuable shit maybe that we don't get to know. We haven't even drilled through our own Earth, you know? Yeah. We got shit that we don't – we got valuable shit maybe that we don't even know about that we're, like, sitting right on top of.
Or stuff that we just don't know how to use yet.
Like, every time I hear, like, oh, we're out of silver or we're out of oil or we found all the gold that's not on asteroids, it's like, yeah, but, like, who's deciding this?
Like, some dude who owns a fuckton of gold and he's like, alright, alright, that's enough.
I think we've found all the gold.
If there's anything I've learned from reality TV, there's still more gold out there.
Yes.
Little tiny flakes to be hunted by toothless men
in Oregon.
Alaska, yeah, but I'm very into it.
Who have to subsidize their gold business
by bringing a TV crew in.
That is also true.
But there are other people who aren't subsidizing their business,
they say.
Yeah, those guys are going out of business, though, right?
I guarantee the guys who don't have a TV crew
to watch them sit there and dig for gold,
they're like, fuck,
there's no way to make it in the actual gold business.
You've got to have an audience for this shit.
This is performance art.
This is not real mining.
I'm a seventh-generation gold miner,
and my family probably
should have stopped this about four generations ago yeah got into plumbing or something yeah
that would have been much better than hunting for gold into can you imagine like going to a bar
in a local area there and you're all dirty and you got shiny tipped fingers or whatever and you
have to explain to a girl like oh no no, I hunt for gold for a living.
How long are those conversations going to go?
Are you good at it?
Well, I just ordered a Bud Select
because they're $2, so no.
Why does he have shiny tipped fingers in this scenario?
Because he's been poking around gold dust all day.
So you're saying his fingers are covered with gold.
Yeah, yeah.
He's not good at this?
Gold fingertip.
Back in olden days, they used to leave slits in the floor
of those places so that
when the people who mined went in,
they'd obviously have gold little tiny flecks stuck on them.
They'd sit down to drink and
the little flecks would fall through the floor
into pans or dishes and then
the owners or the proprietors
because it's olden days, of the bars
would go under there and get it. So that's a real thing. other thing that they would do is like you would pay for one thing like
a shave or you would pay for a whore and free like along with that would be like a shower like they
would give like wash your hair whatever and they're like oh well i get a whore for a dollar and and i
get a bath for free i'm sold but they were really like baiting these guys to collect the gold dust from their hair so they're you know collecting that out of there but you're
right the the slits in the floorboard thing was totally true too because they would pay with
pinches of gold dust and you know there's no way to like not spill a little every time you buy
something with a pinch of fucking gold dust can you imagine if like that was our mode of currency
today you know what's funny is like imagine Imagine you use gold and that's it.
You just have a ton of gold and it's a big deal to you.
And you manage to find a ton of it.
And eventually someone explains to you that they're going to take it and hold it.
And in exchange you get paper.
But trust us that this paper is equal to your gold we promise
that your gold is equal to this paper and this paper you could use it everywhere
trust us like and everyone's part of this everyone agrees it's good so just put your
gold in here we'll hold that and you take this paper here it And then eventually. Can I just keep the gold, Mr. Banker? And then eventually. It's actually.
You know what?
The gold thing's gone.
It's just paper-based now.
I would say that it's actually similar to someone coming up to you right now and being like, yo, you know, like, your bank account?
Forget that.
What you want is intensely long algorithms.
Algorithms.
And that's your money, bro.
algorithms. And that's your money, bro. Like you don't want to have like real money that the government has their fingers in. What you want to do is you want to have these computer codes
and that's going to be money from now on. And we're all cool with that. Trust me, everyone.
Trust me, it's worth four thousand dollars for a Bitcoin. You're good trade. Give me four thousand
dollars and I'm going to give you a chain of characters.
No, no, it's
cool. Keep it on your USB drive.
Put it on the internet.
Leave it on the internet.
When you put it that way,
it sounds insane.
Just as insane
as the paper one that he brought up
the first time. I'm trying to process why
it's different and i'm not coming up with anything it's not really different it's really not except
there's slightly more benefits with in this bitcoin scenario than with the paper thing
because in this bitcoin scenario it's like let's take the middleman out the thing about the bitcoin it's untraceable
um like online exchanges and that's a tricky thing now it might be traceable in some tricky
like cia way i don't know trade you trade bitcoin hand over fist though also like at
woodycraft we used to accept bitcoin as payment i didn't invest in bitcoin i would just convert it to dollars every night but oh my god look i make a lot of bad decisions if i was a smarter man i wouldn't
have a broken leg right now so let's just put that aside but um uh the one of the reasons we
liked bitcoin so much is we had a ton of fraud right people would like
buy stuff and then the next day claim that we ripped them off or something it was just like that
that cyber criminals made up a decent part of my customer base and uh with bitcoin that was never a
fear there is like there's no concept of like buyer protection or charge back or whatever
it's somehow even less than like
dollars like it's untraceable meant to be anonymous we could double check before you
send that i guess like if they were like hey i bought this and didn't work out and it was at
this time it was ever we could confirm there was a purchase and it was them and but uh in terms of
like robbing us they couldn't do it do you know as like an aggregate if you had saved
all the bitcoins or the fractions of bitcoins or whatever that you'd gotten would it have been
significant like a significant that's not fun to calculate don't do that i mean we're talking about
four digits like not life-changing or anything oh okay yeah just what in dollars a profit yeah like
like if he like if he kept the bits instead of uh transferring
the dollars he'd have you know eight thousand dollars more to his name or something like that
that's not nearly as intense as i was imagining like percentage wise it's been it's considerable
in the last five years it's gone from like like 150 bucks to four thousand dollars
so like do we need like if if you had it like five years ago
and you had like $250
of a Bitcoin, like that
$250 is worth
$4,000 now.
I still just don't
get it. I don't understand
what it is and how
you get it.
We're not going down that road again.
No, we're not again because I'm not going to get it.
It's tripled.
It's not even worth it.
You don't even want to know.
You don't even want to know.
I already know.
It's tripled since 2014.
Some guy bought a pizza online I heard with like a bunch of Bitcoin and that equal like $20 million today or something.
That's crazy.
Oh, man.
But yes.
I bet he regrets that pizza.
Not many people had Bitcoin.
So most of our sales were in PayPal.
And of course, there's that guy in the UK who threw away a hard drive with many bits on it.
And he looked for it for a long time.
But every year that passes, it's like, maybe we should go look some more, right?
Yeah.
Maybe we should hire some people to help us look.
Those gold digging –
Fuck gold mining.
Those toothless gold diggers should be looking for that
Yeah, it's like the people who find sunken treasure ships and shit like like you know
It's a waste of time to find a ship when gold's at like a hundred
But when gold hits two thousand dollars an ounce or whatever it is
Fucking yeah, you know ships ahoy i don't know what people say not too long ago some guys people say you got
some guys found like some spanish doubloons or something off the coast of florida and like way
steep water or something like that and i don't remember the the figures but it was like 20
million dollars worth of gold or some shit and they immediately go to the government and they're
like oh we found this here u.s government you take your cut spanish government and for some reason gets their cut
even though they stole it from the mayans or the inca or some shit like right they they just
raped the whole civilization to steal that there's no mayan government left right they'd want their
cut too but fuck them no mexico you get nothing um so they gotta like but in the end they they're
keeping like 30 of their money i was like why the end, they're keeping like 30% of their money.
I was like, why the fuck?
Who cares if it's a doubloon or whatever?
Melt that shit down and go to one of those
cash for gold places, right?
Just cut all of those people out.
Well, definitely don't go to cash for gold.
Not literally cash for gold, but there are
markets where you can go and sell
little bars of gold and shit.
Oh, that's true. Yeah.
I mean, it's baffling to me that they would
find doubloons and then
go to the government on their own
and say, hey, we want to give you your cut.
It's like, no, they didn't know
those doubloons were there. They weren't searching for it.
They didn't fund your expedition.
Taxes on the income.
The Spanish got a cut.
I don't remember what percentage the US government got
or how it was justified, but
it was a lot of money.
It didn't seem like it was just straight up taxes.
It's been a while.
If it's straight up taxes, then I'm kind of on board.
Living a life
of tax evasion
and hoping
you don't get...
You don't want that.
The US government will destroy you. But if you invasion and like hoping you don't get like there's a lot of you don't want that the u.s
government will destroy you the u.s but if you find 20 on the ground you got to report that
like you found it you didn't earn it if you find 20 million on the ground the dude kicked the
government they're eight or something and then what for what and what oh what you get in exchange
for that are restful sleepy nights for the rest of your life.
You never go to prison.
No, no, no.
See, Woody's right as far as like the – like I'd rather have $3 million or $4 million and know that I'm safe and secure and that nobody's going to be kicking my door down than have $20 million and be waking up every night sweaty like, oh, shit, are my doubloons safe?
Like I wouldn't want to do that.
You fell for doubloons safe like i wouldn't i wouldn't want to do that but the point is the point is to kyle's point which i think what you're saying is
the fact that you have to pay taxes on buried treasure that you find is an abomination that
like that it takes that that's a big middle finger to every single person is childhood
in the world like that you have if you find never did Captain Planet find treasure and go, ha ha, let's talk to the government.
You know, no, you just keep it.
In, I'm pretty sure like where I live, Quebec, Canada, if gambling isn't your means of income, like if you're not like a professional poker player, then your winnings, and whatnot are uh not taxable so in the reverse
in canada if you find i'm pretty sure it probably is under the similar thing that like
uh you know you wouldn't get taxed on coming across treasure and uh um yeah in the u.s you
do get taxed there's also a primary income but if you win sorry i think if you win
even in vegas and you're from montreal uh i think you can get your taxes back like your or quebec
would get a certain amount of it back for you even if you got taxed you know uh gambling abroad
see i don't like or wait you mean que mean Quebec would fund it and take care of it,
or they would, like, bother the U.S. to make them give the money back?
On the airport terminal on my way home, it was just like, did you win in Vegas?
You know, contact a Quebec lawyer.
You don't have to pay taxes on your winnings.
Oh, nice.
I wonder if americans go to
you know quebec and gamble do we have to pay taxes there no you always i learned something
you're american you pay you all no matter where you go no matter what you identify as no matter
what country you end up in you pay so this isn't fair i can't easily google the
harley's thing on canada but in the u.s if you win 1200 they report you to the irs and you'll
pay on that so there it is so anything under 1200 is good okay this is an area i happen to
know a bit about taxes um if you win a dollar you're supposed to report that but at 1200
they make it so the irs can check on you
and uh you have to report it otherwise you'll get caught man that's like and that seems like a
really small amount doesn't it i mean i've never gambled i don't really gamble so i don't care
either way but it's gonna be 1200 600 is like the 1099 limit like if you earn money through
you know independent 600 so that's what i expected it to be but i just googled it 600 is like the 1099 limit, like if you earn money through independent cash. 600.
That's what I expected it to be, but I just Googled it.
It's 400 in Missouri.
Really?
Yeah.
Yeah, they really need that money, I guess.
Well, $400 goes a long way in Missouri.
In certain parts it does.
Well, now that we're on tax code i'm really glad we had it i took it
this direction let's talk about taxes we've got three and a half hours you know i know you want
a game of thrones talk but i haven't even talked about the iris class life of farm animals yet
i uh what is your guys prediction for this Irma hurricane?
Is it going to be just as devastating as Harvey, or is it going to be worse?
I don't know.
Or is it going to peel off, kind of like what was that one that did a couple years ago that everybody thought was going to crush Florida, and it just kind of like,
just like barely.
You're not thinking of Sandy that ended up hitting New York and New Jersey, are you?
I might be, yeah.
I might be thinking of Sandy because I don't think that hit Florida so what do you guys think Irma's currently the most powerful storm
ever measured in the Caribbean I don't know if it's going to be the most powerful at the time
it impacts but I I've been watching so I have some free time I've been watching these like
hurricane models like all they start off like spider webs headed everywhere some are in the
gulf some say it's going to hit
maine you know like it goes all over the place and then as time comes they constrict and like
all the models start agreeing with each other and almost everything seems to say right now
that it's slamming into miami skirting up the coast and then hitting like georgia south carolina
area like that's yep there's a concentration in there. So last one that hit Miami hard was
Matthew, I think killed a bunch of people. And it was the most devastating storm for like,
until Katrina came along. Like it was a really big deal. I don't think a lot of people are going
to die in Florida because, uh, this, the whole thing in Houston, everybody gets it. It seems
like that you've always seen those people in Florida who are like, I'm not going anywhere.
Nothing ever happens. They always blow these things out of proportion and and rush limbaugh
he informed me about this it's all fake news anyway i'm sitting here holding tight i mean
maybe they got maybe maybe they're on to something you never know but i i don't think that a lot of
people are going to die in florida but i think there's going to be some significant property
damage down there especially on the keys it's's going to hit them at 175 mile an hour winds.
It looks like it's going to
slam into either Augusta.
From Augusta to Myrtle
Beach are just getting fucking slammed.
They're not Augusta, Savannah.
They're evacuating Savannah,
Georgia, Savannah, Georgia.
It looks like it's
going to dump a shitload of rain
on us. I keep using Ventusky and I switch over to precipitation to see what I'm going to get,
and there's these massive bands of dark red predicted to sweep over the state.
It's going to be eventful, but I'm hoping, you know, you always do, that not that many
people die.
I saw there was already half a dozen or so deaths in those islands, and we don't even
know what happened in Haiti.
Do they even count them down there?
It's going to be rough.
It's usually so devastating in Haiti, they don't
even know the count, because it just
trucks right over it.
You know how they retire the hurricane's
name if people die?
I didn't know that.
There'll never be another Hurricane Irma,
now that it's killed someone. There'll never be another Hurricane
Harvey. They'll just find some other
Harry or something. Whenever that
happens, when someone dies, I'm like,
did we lose a good name?
Irma? Nah.
Fuck Irma. That's a stupid name.
I'm glad it's retired.
Then you'll get Hurricane
Edwin and everybody's
fine. You're like, God damn it.
Hurricane Xerxes comes through next time.
I wonder who has the longest streak.
Which name has the longest, like the most returns?
Hurricane Steve is back.
Never does any damage.
I bet it's him.
Bitch made Steve's coming back around.
He don't do shit.
Hurricane Steve. He don't do shit probably
They go to 0.8 a category 0.8
They're named alphabetically and it goes boy girl boy girl
And then the next year it switches it and goes girl boy girl boy who who came up with this tradition like such Australian
Scientists right and at first that nobody wanted to adopt it So he started naming the Hurricanes after the politicians who opposed him until ever and until everybody got on i didn't know that part no that's the truth see really because you
don't there you go you learn something new every day well i think you're going to google it whether
i say yes or no so i just want to know this kind of tricks me on this it was actually uh it was
actually an eisenhower jobs program they just pick someone to start naming hurricanes so there you go
i uh wait you said uh myrtle beach is getting yeah redemption you don't have to worry about
truth just so everybody knows i read that just now it wasn't maybe it wasn't australian but the
other part was true how he would name them after like the politicians who opposed his system of
categorizing hurricanes and naming them oh really i just i just read in 1953 the united
states began using female names maybe you're right i only you know how google gives like a
little snippet from the first article i was like oh it's american therefore i assumed you made it
up out of whole cloth google always gives you like enough information in that little box to be like, I don't really care.
And then just leave.
Be like, oh, all right, so it happened in 1964.
Oh, my God, this is my life.
Nobody Googled this 40 years ago.
They were probably reading. Or the other thing that happens is they'll give me that snippet, and I'm like, oh, that doesn't answer my question.
So I click on the first link, and I'm like, that was the snippet.
God damn it. Why did I go on the first link and I'm like that was the snippet
Gotta go to the second lake damn it, and then you just say fuck it I wonder if there's any new animals fighting on YouTube
Did you say that a Myrtle Beach was evacuated now so wings left to get out I'm not evacuated they're evacuating Savannah, Georgia
I didn't hear evacuations from Myrtle Beach, but it is
going to hit Myrtle Beach. That's the projected
path right now. That seems very likely.
There's lots of models, but they all hit
Myrtle Beach. They're fucked one way or another.
Are they within five days from Myrtle Beach?
Because I keep hearing five days.
It's like a magic number. These models are
all pretty accurate for five days.
But when you get out to like 8 and 11,
they're not that good. I think it's like on the
10th when it'll hit Myrtle Beach.
And then on 9-11, it starts really
dumping it on us.
It's like the 10th or 11th when it happens.
So yeah, it's happening.
Don't worry about wings. He floats. It's all good.
Oh, that was mean!
I'm sorry.
I mean, it was a little mean. I tried not to throw stones at Wings.
I'm just teasing.
Jesus Christ.
It wasn't like I threw a harpoon into the man's soul or something.
I try to back you up, and I also try not to just...
It's a harpoon.
Just a pile on.
Yeah, I also try not to...
It'll certainly bring him out.
I don't know.
Wings isn't on top of the world someone who can handle uh you know a
spear thrown at him or something global warming happens and the in the caps melt he'll be on top
of the world he'll float to the top again just just it's funny jesus christ not trying to strike
at the man's soul it's just a funny little fat
joke because he's overweight and all.
No, you don't have to explain it. I got it.
I'm just making sure.
This is a Category 5 one.
This Irma.
And Katrina,
I believe it was Katrina, was only
like a 2. A 4.
Or something.
That's a good point of reference.
Was it?
No, it wasn't a five.
Chiz.
It was not.
There was one that I thought it was the one that destroyed New Orleans,
and it wasn't even a terrible, terrible hurricane.
It was just flooding, and flooding tore everything down.
It was a three when it hit land.
Thank you, Chiz.
It was a three when it hit land. I saw, Chase. It was a three when it hit land.
I saw that, too.
I'm trying to see if it ever hit four.
Because also, this one won't be a five when it hits land,
based on what I saw.
Who knows what's in the future?
I don't know how many years I could live in one of those.
Oh, Katrina was a five.
And a three when it hit land.
OK.
We could get wiped away so quickly.
Like, everything we've done. Everything. free when it hit land. We could get wiped away so quickly. Like everything
we've done. Everything.
All of it could just get wiped away so quickly.
So I was talking to my mother the other night
and she's
telling me like, oh this would be an interesting PKA topic.
Yellowstone might
explode. That there have been some
like a ton of earthquakes there.
And it's a volcano.
I don't really know active, inactive.
But there's some sort of volcanic activity in Yellowstone.
And if it blows, it's a big deal.
Like, 22 states are gone.
And the whole globe is inactive.
The globe goes into darkness.
Yeah.
Yeah.
The way that I first heard it, it wasn't like a dinosaur being wiped out.
But it was bad
we could lose two thirds of the planet's population
or something like it'd be a big deal
but probably not extinction
complete dystopian future
our trajectory gets fucking
plateaued and goes down
the whole earth would go semi dark
it'd get hazy and then there wouldn't be enough food
and then there'd be starvation and then fuel wars
and then you got Mad Max all of a sudden that's totally what happens that's not
even being like bombastic about it that's what happens like it's i've seen a few documentaries
about that about the super volcano or whatever they call it there it erupts like every 100,000
years or something like that like it's a massive time period so like i looked into it and i was
like all right this does sound like an interesting topic and it's like let's go look and i find that there's a one in 730 000 chance that it will happen during our
lifetime and you know by this point i'm off the you know hi google whatever and i'm like oh mom
is this like a hoping for end times thing again is this yet another is that what we're doing here did you get this from the church
like one in 730 000 is it could just be the old person thing like of like watching or like reading
stories that are clearly catastrophizing things like my i said it before my grandma when i was
in college told like after that guy ate someone else's face in their street you know the homeless guy she was like now taylor i've heard about this thing
kids are doing in school and it's called bath salts now you promised me you're not gonna do
any bath salts i was like grandma like no just because you saw it on fox news if i if i went
all around my university campus like bath salts looking for bath salts here like like people would
be like what no
i don't have that and you know what the the worst part about that incident is that guy was not on
bath salts that guy was sober as a fucking hammer like he was on he wasn't even drunk that guy just
went nuts and ate a man's face when i he was a veteran when i saw that video i literally like
i remember like being on the phone and i was like yo you
seen this it's going down right now like zombie apocalypse like it's going down like i was saying
it and believing it like i remember that moment i was like this is it this is what it looks like
that next person is the next one like get ready here's what i remember we're in canada we're in canada but i know this shit it's
at our doorstep in 12 hours there's some guy going from miami to toronto right now on a plane
it's it's happening what struck me about it is so that happened and it was really zombie like right
you know a guy mauling eating a face that's not normal human behavior and then the media was like scratching and clawing to find
other zombie-like incidents in every police blotter in the world like oh look at this guy
you know he twitched after death or something i don't know yeah i was thinking about the uh i was
thinking about the hurricane and i and of course north korea is a big thing too and i was like oh
my god the target isn't Guam the target isn't
South Korea the target is in Japan if he shot a nuclear weapon into that hurricane
It would it would throw fallout all over the entire eastern seaboard United States
And then it would just keep going across the Atlantic right like imagine that works. Yes. That's how that works. Yeah, and then
He that works yes that's how that works yeah and then they standing he can then they go on and then he can't just kill the hurricane no that that's just worth right now that is not how that works I saw a Vsauce video about that and that's
horseshit I'm on Facebook too much now it's very embarrassing there are groups
and people pose they're all shooting their guns at Irma I don't know what
they're hoping to accomplish.
Oh, my God.
Oh, and there's graphics made up, Photoshop brilliance of guys and their shotguns and, you know, 50 cows.
Like, they're going to really get Irma with a bullet.
Some poor fool 20 miles down the road who's also shooting at the hurricane.
Because it's Florida.
Hurricane Irma has a record amount of lead spinning around in it we're not quite sure how that happened the best interview would be right
now like like go down there to the keys right this second because that thing's like barreling down on
and interview the people who are there like like find the guys who are just out there in lawn chairs
and interviewed that motherfucker because he's got something to say
He's got a stance on life that is a little bit twisted It's not quite like the rest of us those people have an interesting perspective
The ones that are still there because it's not even a question now as to if it's gonna hit or not
It's like no no there. It is there. It is right there. You see it. Yeah, it's coming like they know
It's coming with they're still there. I don't stay there? If you lived in Miami, is there any chance at all that you would stay
or would you have gotten out days ago?
It really depends on the situation, right?
Like if you're in a mobile home down there, yeah, you got to fucking flee.
But if you're on high ground in a brick house, you're the smart little piggy,
no straw, no wood, maybe you consider it.
I'm sure people down there have had their homes built to hurricane standards you know if you're a wealthy guy and you live there on palm beach or west palm beach more likely you're like yeah
this house can withstand a category four and it'll be four by the time it gets here i'm all good like
i'm sure there are people like that but that's not the guy i'm talking about i'm talking about otis
out there with his natty ice fucking watching the thing come with a shotgun across his knee that guy is the one you want to interview
Yeah, I would love to hear what Otis has to do. I mean, I don't think the weather channel is gonna put anybody
Would I say yeah? No
No, even if I had a brick house on a hill if I were in Miami where it's just gonna get smashed like no
I'm getting the fuck out of there
like trusting like even if it's like okay this house was built to withstand a category three or
even four hurricane it's like okay well those gas station condoms are also meant to prevent
pregnancy but i wouldn't use one of those and trust it like i think i'm gonna leave our house
i think an element of it is like i guess guess that there would be a, you know, it's your community to an extent maybe.
And like, if like, maybe that manpower is needed at, you know, like for the, the end of it.
But, you know, there's also an element of, uh, uh, I don't know, I guess.
Yeah.
Like the, the only thing is like, you know, to help, but like, you gotta know, I mean, if you're standing right there in the eye of the storm like i feel like under circumstances no matter how awesome your house is everything
can be fucked up like everyone should get out of there so like someone should go in there you go
there and you see otis like you don't just interview him you also like disarm him and
drag his ass the fuck out of there we used to live i mean i'm not messing with those and and
when we so it was new jersey which doesn't really get hit by storms that hard but um we would occasionally get
evacuated and hurricane gloria came and it like it swept over the island ocean city is an island
and the waves would come right over all the way to the bay and it was a big deal we evacuated and
the reason we did was like there were a couple one there's not much you can do like if the wind
is 150 miles an hour it's not like you can do. If the wind is 150 miles an hour,
it's not like you're holding the shutters on,
keeping everything intact.
It's not a thing you can do.
You're just inside, kind of bundled up.
The other thing is the power goes out.
So it's like, you know what?
This is a good time to get out of town.
Let's go get a hotel a couple miles away or whatever.
We'll make a little family vacation of it.
We'll do something.
That's disaster area with the power out and stuff. It's not even good to be there. whatever we'll make a little family vacation of it we'll do something uh you don't like that's
disaster area with the power out and stuff it's not even good to be there so you get to you know
roast some s'mores or whatever you get a campfire going no it's horse shit you want to fucking get
out of there yeah go up to georgia like you don't have to drive you drive six hours and you're in a
happy place where it's just gonna get rained on and you get you get you know bent bent over when you rent a hotel room but so be it right better to be alive like and i don't
i don't understand the hurricane proofing of a house like how could you proof against like a
giant log flying at your house at a hundred miles an hour or something like it just seems like
there's no way or a car hitting we're. We're talking about Mother Nature. It's a false sense of
security. A hole can open
up under your house.
Hurricane proofing, though.
Yeah, good. Okay, you wouldn't want
in a hurricane a porch
with a roof on it and stuff
because the wind goes under there and lifts it up.
Your shutters and stuff have to be
locked down, maybe put plywood in front of the
windows. That's what hurricane proofing is typically about just like design standards that make it wind tolerant
But even that's like rolling the dice that a big piece of debris isn't gonna
Crash into the side of the house and bring it all down
I think a lot especially if you're on the beach right like literally oh just get knocked down and then like
Boardwalks come floating by and hit your house like what are you gonna do?
and then like boardwalks come floating by and hit your house like what are you gonna do brace yourself we're approved for this
it's like remember the world trade center was built to withstand a plane crash
turns out planes were smaller when they're not that plane yes yes thank you yeah yeah
much smaller plane yeah and the hurricanes were much smaller back where maybe.
I'm not sure that's true.
Well, this is the most powerful one in the Atlantic ever.
Our house in Ocean City was 130 years old.
I think that's true.
At least the original part of it.
Who knows?
But it was really, really old.
So we were like, oh, like this house must be built to last.
Like it has.
Don't tell me this is the only storm in the last 130 years to do this.
And it was also in a really hot part of the island.
So it was always fine.
But you still don't want to be there.
No air conditioning, no TV.
I honestly don't understand living in those areas that frequently receive disasters.
There's areas in the Midwest that get flooded, like, every five years.
Like, legitimately flooded.
There's, you know, areas where there's earthquakes.
But, you know, that's a different story, right?
It seems like earthquake proofing is pretty much a thing now.
We haven't had a big one in a while.
When was the one when all the freeways collapsed on the people?
That was in San Francisco.
Was that in San Francisco?
That one changed everything.
I thought that was the one that changed the way that houses were built.
Yeah, I would guess so because that shit hasn't happened again.
I remember seeing like the thing that really fucked with my head about that is when the, you know, it's a multi-level freeway.
So there's cars pancaked between two levels of freeway and those people are in there smushed.
And there are people who had like limbs pinned and they had to go in and just amputate the limbs and and take them out because there's no way to get
them out otherwise like that was fucked to me that's the kind of stuff that makes you want to
just leave the west coast i would imagine but if you're down in florida it's like shit you this
happens every year like i remember like virtually you know every other year every three years well okay i was reading an article
today that said that uh florida floridians have perhaps gotten it had a little short memory
because they haven't had a big one in over a decade now i remember the get hit but big one
when i was in the first grade which was like i remember i remember there was a family that was
displaced there was a big one in florida and there was like a family displaced and they
ended up like moving to where we were and they were they were like telling the
sob story how right that sounds really familiar so probably yeah yeah that was
the last big one in first grade that was a while ago yeah well then move
somewhere where there's no well less natural disasters like the one that
gets me is the people every year and this is every year it's not leaving like hurricanes it's the
people every year who are just shocked that fires are moving quickly towards their home in a dry
land and it's like this happened last year. It happened the year before.
It happened the year before that.
And the year before that it happened.
And then before that, it's like move somewhere a little more moist
and save yourself the trouble.
That's it.
Well, to the flip, we've had a ton of disasters this year.
Apparently fires are going to be off the charts this year.
So everybody knows the West Coast had all this drought, yada, yada.
This year they didn't have drought.
This year the West Coast has been pretty well rained on.
A lot of the like long-term droughts have been solved and such.
And what that means is there's tons and tons of fuel plants that grew this year, more than normal.
And like I did my SIV course, the people were talking out there and they're like, look at this.
Like, you know, there's thigh-high dry grass everywhere the eye can see.
It's like, this isn't normal.
These plants don't normally grow to thigh-high, but this year they did.
So that's what I'm going on.
In Canada in 1998, remember that?
Remember El Nino?
Yeah.
Like, it had come through, and where I live, Montreal Island, it's super, super moist.
And, like, so the summer gets really, really, really humid, and the winter is just like it's like pierces to your bone and uh El Nino came in like
it was like the coldest weather we've had in like god knows how long and it was like the warmest
wind coming through so we had tons of snow and everything and there was tons of rain well tons of snow that kept
happening it snows like crazy here and it gets really really cold and then this hot wind came
by and melted everything and it instantly froze and kept snowing so it built ice on top of ice
on top of ice and uh trees fell into people's houses and like power lines went down and my entire
like town was completely powerless for about six weeks like the whole city had power for like six
weeks all the power runs on like water and i guess with all the ice it was fucking it all up and
everything like that and the power oversight in canada shit we we got a generator today it just came in well that was it
my buddy had like it was this was a time that the 64 just came out with wcw versus nwo that
awesome wrestling game like first wrestling game on 64 and that came out and so this was all during
school and the uh like he had a generator. So we were just like chilling.
There was just like lots of snow, lots of ice,
but we were good there.
He had like four families staying in his house.
He had like a big house and we just played so much
fucking N64 the whole time.
A question for Canadians.
So here's the deal.
I've always been impressed by how OP automotive HVAC systems are,
right?
I could wear winter clothes in the summertime and the car's air conditioning
is so cool.
You'll pull it off,
right?
It'll eventually get cold.
And then in the winter I could wear shorts and a t-shirt.
Now,
if you're from Canada and it gets to be like,
I don't know,
negative 20 Celsius or something,
whatever it is,
crazy system you people use.
Can the heat – does it get warm?
Do you get your car hot when it's that cold out?
When you start your day, like when I started my day growing up, I'd wake up and I'd put on a bathrobe and I'd put put on my boots, and I'd run out to my car,
and honestly, sometimes literally the door is frozen or your handle is frozen.
I'd get in, and I'd turn the car on, turn on the defrosters, all of them, and blast the heat,
and then I'd go inside and shower and change and pack my bag,
and when I come back out, the ice at least visually is melted and the windows are clear.
And I might have some brushing to do.
And, yeah, it's, like, hot in there that you wear a T-shirt.
Yeah.
Like, you wear a T-shirt, like, crack a window or something.
Pretty small space.
Yeah.
And they have a lot of, like, they have to overcome, right?
They're not just maintaining.
So that's why. Remote start is the way to go man like now yeah but i just remember when i was younger that just wasn't an option yeah yeah it's just that that's so nice to like because i've done
that so many times what you're describing like like run out there in the in your underwear often
you just start the car and then sprint back it It's the worst. Damn it, was that even worth it?
Have you guys tried air-conditioned seats yet?
Yeah, yeah.
Yes.
I have those in my truck.
I don't care for it.
I'm a big fan.
So if people don't know,
probably most people do that don't drive 15-year-old cars,
but they have seats now,
like leather seats that are like air hockey tables,
and they just blow sometimes car air in there
and sometimes air-conditioned air at your shorts.
And I only had it in a rental, and it was glorious.
Yeah, they've had those since 2005, I remember.
It makes your butt feel wet.
Yeah, we don't have any cars that do.
It makes it feel wet and cold, which is why I don't like it.
It makes my butt feel wet.
Really?
Yeah, I like any.
The seat has these per perforations blast cold air
just give me a moist feeling it doesn't make what he's right in the description of uh
powdered like it's not no i like i know you're talking about the the air hockey thing like the
slight like little perforations cold air the perforations i i know what harley's saying i
think it feels more wet like i sat on a wet towel and then stood up
and then sat back down again before my jeans dried or something.
It's like, oh, well, dang it.
Honestly, that's just because you got wet ass from being out in the hot
and the air has cooled the wet ass down and you're feeling it.
That's all that's going on there.
Yeah, it could be.
The AC is just like it's cooling down your sweat.
Yeah, you got swamp ass.
Does the AC dry your ass?
That's what I want.
I want a cool air hair dryer on my rear end as I drive around.
Nah, like an air bidet.
Yes!
You just want a bidet in your front seat in your car.
It's just one big jet of air just to right up your ass.
Just a hair dryer down.
I love getting in the car and you're really sweaty,
and you funnel the AC up a sleeve or up your pants leg or something.
Especially up your shorts leg.
It just hits your balls and junk and everything.
It's the greatest feeling ever.
I wish that there were pants, like a whole track suit, that you could plug a thing into in your car.
They make that for your bed. right yes i would i saw it advertised on cnn
it's one of those products they like pitch toward like old retired couples for sure like along with
the recline the beds that are six thousand dollars and all that shit and it's like you have this air
conditioner that hooks up to your bed or heater and it like inflates the the blanket and like
keeps like cold air blowing in there and you can get like a single
temperature one or you can like dual climate control that bitch like a car.
Sounds dangerous.
You wanna stay warm up here but your lower half's dying.
No, no, no, for your wife!
So your wife can get like super cold.
Silly, Merkur puts it on sideways.
My feet are fucking freezing!
I would wanna know that thing is working for ten years without starting a fire while sideways. My feet are freezing.
I would want to know that thing is working for 10 years without starting a fire
while people are sleeping before I come to it.
Right? Yeah.
I don't want to be the person that burns
in my bed using that thing and they're like,
oh yeah, they took it off the shelves.
Yeah, you don't want to be the one who
had to die for that. You don't want to be the patient
zero. It's a unit that sits on the floor with ducting that connects to your bed.
So it would burn.
I guess it would start the fire under the bed for maximum efficiency.
I take it all back.
I've jerry-rigged that system up myself.
Like, there's an air vent right next to my bed.
And if I just, like, throw the blanket over there just right, it's so nice.
When that cold air like like the
full blast of the vent and it's you know it's super inefficient because i just kind of tossed
a blanket over it but just just that alone on a hot summer's night is just real real nice like
air conditioning is the greatest fucking thing i remember like it might have been sean hannity or
somebody who was they were they were making this statement about capitalism or meritocracy or
something like that and they brought up like the guy who invented the air conditioner.
And when he first invented it, everybody was like, cooling the air? Who would buy such a stupid thing?
He'd raise the money himself and get investors and stuff because no company like go with the idea. It was this whole thing. It's like, can you imagine how fucking sweaty and stinky all the people were making fun
of his invention as they just smelled like shit?
Like no one's ever going to need that.
We just carry one handkerchief and wipe ourselves.
You know, it's disgusting.
Oh, it's Captain Woody.
Yeah.
With the, with those old school, like metal fans, just spinning so slow.
You can count the blades.
Fuck that.
Fuck that. That wasn't that long ago. That's what our grandparents
were dealing with. Imagine what our
grandchildren will deal with.
My grandparents have complained to me about how
hot it was shitting in the
southern Missouri summer in
a wooden outhouse.
And so they just
sat in their wooden outhouse and would take
a shit as a kid at night and she my
grandma's i was like and i was always so scared to go out there at night because because my dad
said snakes live in that hole that you're pooping in and i always believed him it turns out he was
joking mostly it was like my only one who shopped that oral sex was even a thing in an era before
air conditioning can you imagine you imagine how gross oral sex
was before the advent of air conditioning?
It had to have been
just post-bathe.
You know?
Oh, yeah.
That bowl of water
over there on the countertop.
Let me freshen up over here in the bowl
of water.
Well, you know, i'd say that the downside
of it is uh my for me is a little bit more specific in that like uh you know sweaty blowjobs
should be appreciated as their own category and back then all blowjobs were sweaty blowjobs so
there was no way to differentiate you know like there was no way to be like oh you're going in
on it now you're bad but like back like back then it was just, you're going in on it now. You're bad
Like back then it was just like you're licking my ass. Oh my god. You are hardcore
Appreciate you, but I don't want to kiss you. Yeah, can you imagine a rim job before fuck?
1940
Horrible to imagine a whole silver dollar, goddammit.
Like, you had to pay up.
That was the one thing those...
No algorithms, no paper money.
She was gonna bite that coin when you gave it to her
if she's gonna give you a rim job in 1909.
Dude, I bet that was expensive as shit to get
with those prostitutes in Vietnam.
Because you're just sweaty and hor...
Or actually, they lived in Vietnam,
so they didn't have AC.
So they just, like... Half of your time sweating curry out. Vietnamese children always work cheap. sweaty, and horrible. Actually, they lived in Vietnam, so they didn't have AC. I feel like
if you were trying to get
an escort or a prostitute
to eat your butt
80 years ago,
any proposition to her, I feel like right away
she's going to be like, I'm calling the police.
I'm calling the police. I'm calling the
constable.
Artie's laying close to like, they'd burn you.
That's asked me to lick his
fanny.
I was
listening to him the other day, and he was
talking about, like, someone bought him
three prostitutes when he was in Vegas,
and he's like, yeah, and he's describing, he said
one of the chicks was heavy or something, and he's like not giving her any attention. So while he's fucking one of in vegas and he's like yeah and he's describing he said one of the chicks was was heavy or something he's like and he's like not giving her any attention
so while he's fucking one of the hot ones he's like and she just dove right in there tongue
right up my ass and and i was just thinking like dear god that's already laying's ass and and he
didn't mention going to like shower up before this happened that's already laying doing eight balls fucking a prostitute ass that that she's just diving right swampy heroin ass to chis's i don't understand
why you would get three prostitutes at the same time like why not spread it out because if you
spread it out like if like kyle you love steak i bet you love crab and i bet you love crab, and I bet you love salmon
or fucking lamb chop
or something like that.
But if I gave you a giant plate of all three of those at once,
you'd be like, this is almost kind of douchey.
Have you ever been to a Brazilian steakhouse?
Yeah, come on. Keep it coming.
Wait, have you ever
done drugs?
No, those are illegal.
Right. Me neither, there there's a certain
uh there's certain ones that like you you i understand you like uh steak and lamb and and
and and beef and whatever and you like you know you could eat them separately
but there's certain drugs i guess guess, I would imagine, under certain circumstances that you could do, that you would be like, I want to fucking – I want three steaks on top of each other right now.
Would this be a drug that gives you allergies?
And I'm not even fucking hungry.
Like, I'm not even hungry.
I just want it here around me, near me.
I just want it.
I want to see it and know that I could have steak at any moment right now.
Not only could I have steak, I could have too much
steak.
I'm not even going to eat it because I'm hungry.
For those of us that don't really know our drugs,
is this the kind of drug that would be legal in
Colorado?
No, of course not.
It's a different kind of drug.
The old man drug.
The Viagra drug. Oh. Oh, that's what I was thinking.
Does that keep you hungry? Like you just had the option. Yeah, it would. We're not going
to get there with euphemisms. No, no we're not. No. Just drop it. It's not going to happen.
We're going to put this around for five minutes or something.
The kind of nose clams that make you want to party the night away.
on for five minutes or something the kind of nose clams that make you want to party the night away fresh delicious nose
oh good shit oh you could see that no they can't but sometimes shit happens and what happens in
the chat gets on the screen and then it's always fucking like my like if the call ends
and i lose everyone's video then the chat goes in the middle and then like i'm the biggest dick in
the world because the chat showed and uh anyways he's got 50 that's hilarious right so yeah i was
for people watching what when someone writes something in the chat that's supposed to stay
private i write bump like 50 times and then if it's shown that's the only
word you see it's kind of funny that bump is what you use to yeah to hide cocaine
oh now all is lost yeah like but i totally see what you mean like you just want the stakes there
because you like knowing the option is there like you just want to know you mean like you just want the stakes there because you like knowing the option is there
like you just want to know you could if you want it not necessarily you're going to gorge yourself
you know you will and you're like you know what like i also want a fat steak over there on the
side to lick my ass at one point too it's essentially like it it's like uh you would
you would find yourself in this scenario where you just got to overdo it for the sake of overdoing it for no other reason
other than like you can in that moment.
And then you wake up the next day and you're like,
why? Why the fuck
did I have all this?
X-Jaws came on the show and said cocaine was not
as good as Adderall.
What?
Yeah, he said Adderall is the same thing
but stronger.
Who said that? X- stronger who said that extra said that oh
but i would at the time he did adderall on a professional level he said a lot of things
though right like that's true i don't know why you're you're taking his like drug advice and
like putting it up here when he also had all that up look, Sam, I love you, Sam. I hope you're doing real well.
But you said some crazy shit that night.
We all know it.
So I'm going to put his opinions
about cocaine versus Adderall
or whatever on the same regard as the brain
science and the 100 millionaire
stuff and all that.
You know, okay.
Yeah, I don't know why
I took everything he said that it was
silly and like, oh, well, the cocaine Adderall thing, that's fact. File that away. um the uh yeah i don't know why i took like everything he said that it was silly
and like oh well the cocaine adderall thing that's fact file that away
craziest thing like i can tell you one thing like vivans is like these these drugs like adderall
abridgelin vivans in your country like i i've seen how it works like being there it's funny
because i'm canadian but i'm still like in your country but like in your country like like I've seen how it works, like being there. It's funny cause I'm Canadian, but I'm still like in your country,
but like in your country, like I see how it is.
And like to get Vyvanse is a thing that, you know,
I've seen, you know, friends of mine do by going and be like, yeah,
I have a hard time concentrating. Oh yeah. Yeah. Can I just get Vyvanse?
Sure. Let me hook you up with 45 milligram pill yeah and
is for a person that like i mean they could be 16 years old you know and their parents are telling
them to do it or whatever but you get it and you know the whole kickback system of that doctor gets
paid off of the vivance that he just prescribed you is like it really in a way like a lot of your
country's structure is built off of this like
pills and like stuff like that and in canada if you want riddlin the hoops you have to jump through
to get it involve like you know paying like for a 300 psychological exam to prove that you need it
because you know kickback for prescribing it to you all they do is
just maybe it's a potential problem if it's they shouldn't be prescribing it to
you and like something like Vyvanse is I don't know if it's called like a class a
or a class one but when I was in LA my girlfriend at the time had it and I
remember taking one and when she was out of the house and I was there and I'm not this type
of person at all I clean the house yeah yeah I was like I got clean as well and I told I told
my friend about it and I never touched it again and I told my friend about it and he was like
that's like if you google like what smoking meth will make you do a lot of people the first time
they smoke meth they'll clean their house it's
like it makes you super over productive in a way and the the dosage that they give out in the states
and i've seen kids have or you know like that girl i was dating had like 60 milligram pills which are
like you know first of all you could sell them for a ton on the street they're like crazy expensive
they're super super super, super powerful.
So like when you compare it to cocaine, it's like, yeah, to an extent you're dealing with like 60 milligrams of Vyvanse versus, I don't know, whatever a person would get in for a night of
cocaine. I doubt it's in milligrams. You know what I mean? So you, it takes more to get that,
but it's a different balance actually what the real
comparison comes down to is comparing adderall and riddlin with mushrooms and lsd because the
psilocybin in those are similar in in in what the effects could be for from adderall or riddlin
like remember back in the day you would hear rumors like, oh, acid used to be like the government tested acid
to make super soldiers.
Really what they were doing was
they were looking at psilocybin
as a means of basically what Adderall ended up being,
what Vyvanse ended up being.
It was going to be one of those types of drugs.
So they weren't really going to be super soldiers.
They were just going to be awake and focused
and peppy, kind of like how you are when you take Adderall
or Vyvan. It's funny you mentioned it. In the Air Force crash kits, like if you crash your Air
Force plane, there are amphetamine pills in that kit. So I watch these YouTube channels that unbox
old MREs. And one of the things sometimes they unbox is those crash kits. And he's like, look at this.
The amphetamine pills are still in here.
Usually people break into these and take them.
And that's like crazy.
Because that was just focus factor.
And that's why like the thing is though
is with psilocybin is like people microdose these days.
It's like a trendy thing that's going on amongst
like young entrepreneurs want to broaden their blah, blah, whatever. They microdose mushrooms or LSD and it acts like a,
like a Vyvanse or an Adderall. And if you find out what your threshold is and you never pass it,
you find yourself in this position where, you know, you're more engaging with people,
you communicate better with those around you, you're more active more active in communication you're just always a little high well yeah and even they uh they this one guy was
on uh joe rogan saying that he does it when he kickboxes he micro doses which i would always
be like taking lsd before kickboxing matches a good way to get your ass beat up um and what he
was saying sorry i'm always fighting man i beat those other three blue men up but the the
white guy kicked my ass he's like 60 feet tall they uh yeah the uh he he had said that he does
it well uh for fights and he can see moves before they happen and now that sounds like okay that's
bullshit right but when joe rogan brought it up with this like specialist it seems like at least
a specialist in drugs what he was saying is that like the things we care about and it's kind of
true like the things we care about are all here in the foreground like you know like i'm looking
at my computer and i'm looking at like the faces on there, whatever, you know.
But when you do these psychedelic drugs, the background of life comes forward to the forefront.
So that's how you find yourself being like, whoa, like trees are crazy, man.
And they're everywhere.
Like it's because you take things for granted because it's every day.
It's like, yeah, the fucking trees. But you do a drug do a drug you're like bro i don't think you get it like
they pop up and they'll be here when we're gone and like that's the background coming to the
foreground and you add in if you don't do too much if you if you if you pass your threshold
you add the psychedelic aspect but if you never get there you don't get the the you know funky trippy
purple elephant aspect you just get the background to the foreground thing and if you look at people
communicating with people people have micro expressions and micro expressions also happen
in micro body language and if you're in a fight and you're normally going through, you know, strategy, fighting strategy, whatever, if maybe that just becomes your instinct and instead the background like twitches on a shoulder muscle or a twitch on a tricep is now something that you could see better or you're paying attention to better, then you could telegraph.
You could predict where someone's going to punch because we do telegraph.
We telegraph before you could predict where someone's going to punch because we do telegraph we we telegraph before we we we make a move even you ever see like two cats and they look at each
other and no one's moving and like it could be 10 seconds and then like in an instant they both
move at the exact same time and we barely see it but there's there's movement there you know what
i mean anyways i don't know don't do drugs i'm just saying i've got a i've got a prescription
for it for adderall and right on the right on the bottle of adderall because it's like the generic kind it
says amphetamine salts you know they're not even trying to hide it behind some kind of a brand
i guess when you when you go generic and as far as getting it it was just like uh hey doctor um
i would like some adderall and he's like oh how many milligrams would you like time released or
or or you know the regular
stuff i was like oh no time release uh and yeah 10 milligrams because i you know i can break them
in half if i if i don't have much to do it just no no no sweat at all i can't imagine wanting to
do those for fun it's only ever stressed me out it helps you study and that's the only time i've
tried adderall and it really really does. Fucking excellent at it.
But it always lasts.
Maybe it's because my tolerance was non-existent.
But it lasted so much longer than I needed to study.
I don't know if it's called crown molding, if it's on the floor,
or if it's just the crown molding that's on the ceiling.
But I had never deep cleaned the crown molding anywhere
until I had finished studying and I was on Adderall.
And you're just sitting there fucking tapping and just being like well my my stove spotless all my dishes
are brand new looking you know there's not a speck of dust anywhere oh my god you know a hair
like and you have to just go i don't know it and once again it sounds horrible and in my area it's
hard to get adderall like it i have filled out questionnaires sent to like friends and family
and stuff like that.
The psychological evaluations like Harley was talking about.
You can't just ask for it amongst the doctors in my world.
It depends on the doctor.
Have you ever told – but you tell them why you need it.
Look, I've always had ADD.
I could never concentrate, but I've taken Adderall before, and that helps me.
Tax season's coming up.
Could you prescribe me some?
I could tell totally about your prescription.
If you went and you were like, I want it.
Really?
If you went and you were like, I want it, trust me, I need it,
and you weren't like, oh, for my kid, and I'm not sure, do I need it, am I?
If you're genuinely going down that path, yeah.
But if you want, and you went in there
and you went to, I'm sure, most doctors, you were like,
listen to me. Hook it up,
all right? No clowning around. Let's go.
You got it.
Maybe you're right.
That's the approach you want to take with doctors.
I had a physical and it wasn't
a terrible physical or anything, but I need to lose weight. This is before I lost the 23 pounds I had a physical and it wasn't like a terrible physical or anything but I needed to lose
weight this is before I lost the 23
pounds I had lost and
in that context
I was like yeah you know like I can't
concentrate too like I could really use some
Adderall and I think she saw
right through me like aha
you're using Adderall as a weight loss drug
well it is effective fuck off
I think that's how it went down the bad thing I've seen using Adderall as a weight loss drug well it is effective fuck off and that's I think
that's the bad thing I've seen with Adderall and obviously this isn't you know a study or anything
but I've noticed with friends who were on Ritalin and then moved to Adderall and then moved to you
know Concerta or Vyvanse or whatever I don't know the difference between them all but it's almost
like it psychs people out because I'm at an age i'm 26 where people i went to school with were like seven years old when they were getting
like given these pills for the first time and so by the time yeah by the time we're all 18 i never
took it obviously like by the time we're 18 you know or in college or whatever so fucking many
of these people cannot study unless they have drugs and it's either totally you know
it's either true or it's psychological or a combination of both but there were so many
times i'd be at the library with people and i'm just studying they're like oh i can't even do
anything until i get my next prescription filled but i can't do it because i ran out early and
it's like no you can do it you can do it you're just so used to being on steroids that now having to play the game fair and actually read shit that is boring and forcing yourself to internalize it.
You're totally ill prepared.
You're not ready for it.
Are you going to take this before every day at work for the rest of your life as you're sitting there looking at Excel trying to do something and you go, this is boring.
This isn't grabbing me.
No shit.
You should have been preparing for this.
Like you should know how to get boring tasks done.
Yeah, but that's what they'll do.
Yeah, they will do that every day before work.
I wish I knew the answer to this.
Can I keep going, Kyle?
I guess.
I'll allow it.
I find this, I think you want to do an ad or something,
but this, like, ability to concentrate,
where you say, hey, you know what?
Just override this cloudy, say hey you know what just override this cloudy
distracting you know see something shiny impulse you have with discipline and you'll be fine it
in my head it somehow there's a correlation to like just tell a depressed person be happy you
know hey you know what you you can't get off the couch nothing motivates you or excites you or interest you go outside and start doing fun things and you'll find a reason to live again hey you can't get off
the couch sleep schedule's fucked and you know nothing happy have no friends go find a purpose
in life you're right you'll feel better you're right you But like, I mean, in the small understanding that I would have of depression, my experience with people that I know who suffer from it are never and willpower is it's like, I'm not going to start until I get my drug. And that
right there is a fail off the bat. Because like, I've noticed that like, you know, I saw this whole
thing. It was like this military dude. And he was like, we think we spoke about he was a guy,
make your bed, make your bed, wake up, make your bed. And do the first thing you do when you wake
up is make your bed because you'll have accomplished something and it's easy and the ball will start rolling
you'll accomplish more things and so like i feel like if right off the bat you're like ah
not until i get my drug it's like even when you get your drug then it'll be like i gotta touch
i gotta change my my my instagram display actually. And now you're doing that.
And you're like, I should FaceTune this.
And you're like doing that.
And then you're like, I should also, you know what?
Like I should clear up my desktop.
And it's like, bro, you have schoolwork to do.
And now you got your drug and you're just concentrating on nonsense.
Yeah.
And to Woody's point of like the, or I guess she has put that too, that not everything is willpower.
That's true. But I, I see a huge difference in antidepressants and ADD medicine, just from personal experience,
seeing people who take them. Uh, what he's right. A lot of people who take antidepressants hate it
because they hate the way it makes them feel. They feel empty. They're like, it's not that
my emotions are worse now. It's that they feel non-existent in a way. Like I just feel numb.
But I bet I've met less than a dozen people in my entire life who genuinely needed ADD medication.
And those people who I did know, I could tell when they were in class and not on their medication and they ran out because they genuinely could not focus. They were so scatterbrained.
Like in the middle of answers, they would forget they were talking about and or be on to something else
like so stream of consciousness but the overwhelming majority i think were parents who were like hey my
nine-year-old son is behaving like a nine-year-old boy and they're like well this isn't a job for
parenting this is a job for drugs uh we'll calm them down for you and so it's like first of all you're creating a
dependency yeah yeah of course i'm sorry uh yeah i don't say i don't know like chis wrote not
everything is discipline of course he's right you know all of these things are brain chemistry and
and even discipline is brain chemistry i i find it very confusing you know i i've started to become
a little more like mental health is health you know it's okay to it's important you can prioritize it you don't just
say you're a douche for having a mental health issue because of course not yeah it's it's it's
real health yeah and and even i think like add is mental health it's not the kind you usually
think of mental health as being depression but you know there's all kinds of mental health as being depression, but there's all kinds of mental health. It's just so overprescribed.
I agree, actually.
I agree.
And I like the way you call that steroids.
Steroids for schoolwork.
I love that.
I just, I don't know.
I have a hard time drawing the boundaries of when it's good,
when it's not good, what's okay.
Steroids for a lot of things.
All those pro gamers are on it.
If Cormier and John Jones had a Sudoku off, and it turned out good, what's okay. Steroids for a lot of things. All those pro gamers are on it. If Cormier and Jon Jones
had a Sudoku off and it turned out
Jon Jones was on Adderall,
that would be just as unfair
as steroids in the fight.
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The jeans are that stretchy material that's like 100 cotton and they feel really nice and the i like the
button up it looks pretty smart so i'm happy with them i used to get all the pka uh swag swag yeah
it would just like to roll in but i swear i don't know what it is but it was like like back in the
day they'd be like all right we got a new sponsor. They make snap bracelets.
We sent them to Woody.
Now Kyle gets all the swag, and it's like clothes that you want.
It's like cool shit all the time.
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When's it going to be Taylor's turn to get jeans in the mail?
By the time Taylor gets it, chevy's gonna be our sponsor all i got was clothes i love my new ford focus
woody got enough uh 100 food to survive a hurricane okay all right let's not discount
that and all of that wine he got and we know how much woody loves wine
Okay, so I don't want to hear it all right
You when you're right you're right
Okay, I should have fucking paved one of my driveways with that natural food bullshit
Oh shit, there's a hole in the asphalt
Let me get a little bit of that
Oh yeah the flax seeds just
Yeah they're hardening right up. Yeah, yeah.
They never work with us even once. I underestimated how many birds this would attract.
You could put it around your enemy's cars.
Yeah, you could.
Oh, what a.
Oh, feed it to that dog that keeps running in your yard.
That'll be the end of him.
Oh, yeah, it'll clog him up.
It would have been great.
I'm so sorry, ma'am.
Your dog appears to be hardening from the inside.
What?
Like calcifying?
I'm afraid so.
I saw a pig in the ground with three pounds of spackle.
Yeah.
I have a topic.
Do you get a break into a Home Depot?
I don't know if you guys want to do it.
So here's the topic.
I'll just pitch it.
One of my frustrations with the left-wing groups is that they never have any organization or, like, even goals, really.
So you look at, like, Black Lives Matter, Antifa, Occupy Wall Street.
I never see some, like, violent 19-year-old boy wearing a mask and a helmet and carrying a club saying,
we really need to raise capital gains taxes to equal that of ordinary income
and dividends and double taxation.
Like, that never happens.
It never happens.
I've never seen that either.
Yeah, they're just like, fuck the man.
I hate you.
I'm going to hit your storefront with a bat.
But Black Lives Matter came out and gave their list of ten demands.
Do you want to see them?
They have a list of demands?
They do!
It's called White People, Here are Ten Re-
Here are Ten-
Right off the bat!
Right off the bat.
Okay.
What's that?
This is a very short article.
Yeah, read this-
And I just scrolled down, the first comment is-
Is this satire?
Yes!
Taylor, read one off! Or I could read, I'm actually- Yeah, I'll scrolled down. The first comment is, is this satire? Taylor, read one off.
Or I could read.
I'm actually quite literate.
I'll read a few.
All right.
Number one, white people, if you don't have any descendants, will your property back to a black or brown family, preferably one that lives in generational poverty?
Why?
So then all your wealth can become gone?
Like, that doesn't make sense.
So then all your wealth can become gone.
Like, well, that doesn't make sense.
Number two, white people, if you're inheriting property you intend to sell upon acceptance,
give it to a black or brown family. I like how they're including brown in here, too.
Very, you know, intersectional.
You're bound to make that money in some other white privileged way.
Did you hear that?
You're bound to make that money in some other white privileged way.
Ah, nice.
So you don't need your inheritance.
No, you're going to go use a job.
Number three, if you are a developer or realty owner of multifamily housing,
build a sustainable complex in a black or brown blighted neighborhood
and let black and brown people live in it for free.
Sounds sustainable? Sounds like a good investment?
That's how you get people on your side.
What's a sustainable complex that you let people live in for free okay it doesn't mean anything it it means
give me it means i i needed to come up with 10 things and i got the seven i'm like this doesn't
make any sense uh number four white people if you can afford to downsize give up the home you own to
a black or brown family preferably a family from generational poverty. So far, this is like the definition
of the bigotry of low expectations
where it's like, hey,
I understand how non-white
people work and you have to give them a bunch
of stuff. Otherwise, you know, they're just going to
be in generational poverty. It's like, don't you realize
you're being pretty fucking racist here?
By acting like that's the only... I think this person is
black and therefore exempt from being racist.
Look at the English.
Are you seeing some of these...
You want to start on five, Kyle?
White people, if any of you people...
If any of the people you intend to leave your property to are racist assholes,
change the will and will your property to a black or brown family.
That's a commonality in all of these.
It's all about giving what...
Give your shit to a black or brown family. That's a commonality in all of these. It's all about giving what, give your shit to a black or brown family,
but not a yellow one,
even though,
because they're no longer an impoverished minority.
Not a Jewish person either,
because they're doing fine.
They don't count.
Only black or brown.
Preferably a family with generational property.
I like the,
this one,
I'm trying to find the language
that was ridiculous in one of them.
Yeah, here we go.
Back...
This is...
I won't skip.
Go ahead.
White people, rebudget your monthly so that you can donate funds for land purchasing.
Rebudget your monthly.
So, this...
Like, what are you, a church?
They went tithing and just donate your funds?
Give 8% of your income to black or brown...
You know what?
If I could talk to this girl,
I'd love to just be like,
you know, I was planning on giving my house
to a black or brown person,
but honestly, could you tell me
who deserves it more, black or brown people?
And put her on that spot
and make her be like,
well, it depends on poverty.
It's like, well, but you know,
intersectionality is something
that's very important to me.
And so I want to ensure that I'm giving it
to the most to victimize. So,
who wins that fight?
White people. Especially those white
women, because this is y'all's specialty,
nosy Jenny and meddling
Kathy. Get a racist fired.
Y'all know what the fuck
they be saying. They are complicit when
you ignore them. Get your boss fired
because they racist too.
Now, Woody, I want to jump in there.
It sounded like Woody said, y'all know what the fuck they be saying because that's what you would imagine him to say.
It's y'all, as in like Y-A-W, like when Randy Marsh is describing how to measure a penis, like the y'all, the y'all of the shaft.
Like that is the word.
This is satire.
This has to be satire.
Like, that is the word.
Why?
This is satire.
This has to be satire.
Well, I was going to say that actually, like, it.
These are strong ideas.
It's not even that.
Like, it actually, like, it's so funny. The last time I was on, I got, like, a couple tweets.
Someone said that I was very SJW or surprisingly SJW, which I was like, how the fuck did that happen?
But, like, I wouldn't say that i am i i think that i could look at things from every perspective and if i uh like
spoke freely bluntly if i thought of myself as you know i don't know any of you and i'm only
looking at this what it is is three guys
that I understand were
Trump supporters
all white
okay but you're all white guys
and someone put up an article
how much of this is satire
it has to be some aspect of joking
it's all satire
what happens I notice these days is much of this is satire it has to be some aspect of joking satire yeah it's gotta be all satire
what happens what happens i notice these days is i've seen a lot of this
and i think what it comes down to is the fundamental belief right off the bat is
you guys i will assume believe that you could be racist to white people.
And I will assume that she believes you cannot be racist to white people.
Correct, yeah.
Yeah, they wouldn't probably be racist against anybody.
Article written, you guys are both going completely opposite directions.
It like proves, if you were on that side where where they go with it it proves as a litmus test
to who is racist deep down because if you look at this and you're like what the fuck you give up
your thing and i'm not saying that means you're racist i'm just saying to those people that comes
off racist because if an article, a silly one, goes out
and you defend yourself at all, it's
like in a racist if you do, racist if you don't type
scenario right now.
Yeah, there's no way.
It's not satire.
Well, I just mean there's some aspect of humor in it.
It's not a satire.
I looked it up on Snopes.
I forgot while I was doing it that everyone
was looking at my screen.
But I'm looking at this, and I'm like, is it sad?
Oh my god, did I fuck up? You know like did i fall for fake news no no it's
other articles it says in that in that southern black grandma voice so it's got like there's like
an editorial decision here like a creative liberty that there's humor used there's a level of i i
think i mean i wouldn't be surprised these days who knows i'm not going to assume anything
all i'm saying is that you know it's it that it's written there. It is what it is.
It's like what I would say is it's touchy.
Listen, I'm Jewish, but I have to recognize the fact that I benefit.
I recognize that I benefit from white privilege
privilege i really want to address the satire thing though because at first i was like all
right in my head i'm like this black lives matter doesn't have a singular leader like there's no
elected official president of blm kyle will go right to you but um apparently this person like
she wrote this i and then like it came she put it on her Facebook, if I'm skimming this correctly.
And she was organizing a rally in Boston that turned out to be thousands of people strong.
So to say that she's not one of the many leaders in Black Lives Matter would be wrong.
Like if she organized a thousand person strong, multiple thousands,
thousands of people,
in ten seconds,
and she
really did write this, and she really did want this,
and it is what it is. Yeah, this is
Chanel Helm, the co-founder and
co-organizer of Black Lives Matter Louisville.
She listed her PayPal here
if you want to get right to
the reparations, and a couple hashtags here.
Hashtag run us our land.
Hashtag reparations.
Hashtag you gonna learn today.
Hashtag run us our money.
Dude, this is like, I think it's called Poe's Law, like in one of those internet laws where it's like things get so ridiculous that satire and genuine content is indistinguishable
you know what i mean like because there are times where you'll go to a site and you'll be like this
has to be a joke and then you read more and you're like oh my god like this person really thinks the
world is flat this is a real website devoted to people who think the world is flat like this isn't
a joke like i don't know that's what this feels like because i'm sure you've been i think we went to that website on the show actually looked at it
but that's kind of what i'm getting from here it's like it's so ridiculous that the brain is
like misfiring trying to explain it away as satire but maybe i don't know maybe parts of it aren't
but it's some of this it's just yeah it's just written in a way that's clearly seems like it'd
be satire well from from my perspective it looks like
like everything i i i see these days i mean i'm pretty i'm i'm i have a broad circle of friends
and the people on my facebook are definitely like a wide variety from the amount of time i lived in
la and i lived in canada and the people that i grew up with and all that and uh you know people
from around the world it's like not like my facebook is an echo chamber and i never left town there's lots of voices there and like what i see lately
is this like okay if we have a section on dennis rodman's second trip i thought that was me it was
an autoplay let's say we have our spectrum we have our we have our nazis over here and our nazis are all the way on one end well the people
that are on this end that you know fancy themselves opposite from nazis let's just say uh or you know
people that are super duper not racist uh it's like there's a conflict because it's like all
humans are the same we're all equal we should all be equal and at the same time it's
like don't forget what white people have done and we are still benefiting or white people are
benefiting from a white society like men and women you know uh could can can do the same thing but
let's also remember that you know men there is still a pay gap you know like can do the same thing. But let's also remember that, you know, men, there is still a pay gap.
You know, like, it's like, like, everyone is equal.
There's not a pay gap.
Yeah, there's such thing.
Right, right.
No, but it's a discussion.
I know there's the time factor related to it,
but I'm just saying the fact that it's a discussion,
it's like, there's like, basically what I'm saying,
it's like, everyone is equal.
Everyone is on a level.
But also the conflict is people that could agree fundamentally have this debate where it's like, no, not everyone is equal.
White people have it better.
And like that white people have it better thing is so volatile.
It starts like a racism thing.
Like it makes not racist people start to say racist
things even unintentionally because like it's when you when you sector people and you put us all in
boroughs it's you can't like it's hard to move past but then what saying white privilege is
that's kind of putting people in boroughs yeah we can't we can't be though unfortunately
we can't be four white dudes in 2017 being like let's move past it it's like technically it's not
our call i'm saying our call i'm jewish but like i get to wear a white man costume every day it's
literally not our call to be like let's move past it now dude but yeah you just said that everyone's
equal and then said that some opinions should be taken more seriously than others contingent on race or gender i don't think
that's that i don't think that's still like that doesn't fully mesh up well that's that's the
debate that's where there there is a debate that lies or a conflict that lies but what what i mean
like what i would say is can you be racist to white people? Yes, 100%. But the one thing you have to remember
definitely is you cannot oppress the oppressor. And like to this day, white people still benefit.
No, no, wait, but that kind of language is just when you said oppressed and oppressor,
that is putting people in burrows and segmenting people by race and gender.
Like that's why the whole thing of white privilege isn't that compelling to a lot of people is
because they go,
hey, I know really fucking dirt poor white people out there
who are not benefiting from the fact
that their dad was a plumber
and now they work at the DMV.
That's not what it is.
White privilege isn't saying that, like,
you automatically get the privilege.
It's saying that your dad,
you had a hard time
because your dad was, you know,
not a busy plumber.
Imagine he was black.
It would be way worse.
That doesn't actually get us anywhere.
You could have the shit.
The thing that young people say oftentimes is that you don't recognize you have a privilege if you have that privilege, right?
And when I first heard it, I was like, well, that's horseshit.
You know if there's a privilege or not, a smile and a wink.
If some guy tells me the price is lower because i'm the same race then i
knew that's a privilege never happened by the way but then i thought of another privilege that i'm
envious of and it's young women particularly young pretty women i feel like opportunities
are thrown at them all the time or help is tossed at them no you're not you know just imagine you're
trying to learn a pogo stick right and there's three dudes there and a girl
those three dudes will circle the girl and try and help her in a way that they
wouldn't do for anyone else on this call and that also sounds terrible no if
you're asking for help to make it not a pogo stick make it you know like hey I'm
a girl and i'm
interested in engineering oh my gosh you special snowflake you you you wonderful flower you are a
prize that everyone is going to be helping you know everyone wants to be in your study group
everyone is throwing opportunities at you there are scholarships for you that don't exist for a
guy but you've never you've never you've never found yourself in a situation where you've been like, I want to do this.
And someone's like, oh, man, you do.
That's so amazing.
I want to help you.
I want to help you.
And you're like, this is so great.
I get everything.
Suck this dick.
What?
I don't want to.
Like, get the fuck out of here.
Like, I'm not helping you if you don't want to help me.
That's a little bit hyperbolic and silly.
I like to say, like, oh, suck this dick bit hyperbolic and silly. Let's be real here.
If there's two people struggling with their groceries
in the parking lot, I'm not looking
for a blowjob, but I know I'm going to go help
that lady every time.
I'm never helping Taylor. Taylor can have
both arms with bags lined up.
That's different.
I think it would be foolish of us to say like uh
you know like oh it's so easy like if we just if we micro this scenario to something we could all
probably better get a get a better grasp on look at how easy it is to be like man i wish i was a
girl with uh big sexy titties i would kill it on twitch more than i do now yeah you might get more
viewers but you're going to get so many
more terrible messages. You're going to get every person questioning your integrity. Even if you did
work all the way to the top on your own on hard work, you'll still have idiots like me on a
podcast being like, well, she probably sucked today. But then what you'll get on the exact
opposite side is people would go, oh, you only succeeded because you're a white guy.
So like this whole thing of we're all equal and we're all the same in which we all do need to be treated the same under the law.
That's valid.
Those points I brought up at the beginning were not my point.
I was speaking for what I've noticed is two conversations on one end of a spectrum where one is saying exactly what I had said that you know it's it's putting people in
burrows and then also trying to put a level playing field i'm not trying to put any words
in your mouth i'm just trying to respond to it because i'm probably not fully the audience not
for you yeah yeah i'm sure they'll understand fully internalizing but like the thing is with
like the white privilege thing is you can't start the conversation saying all right we're all equal
we all need to be treated the same we're all all equal under the law. And then say, but white people, you are born with an original sin,
a sin that no matter if you come from the poorest of poor Appalachian whites or the richest of rich
Beverly Hills whites, you bear that sin. And so in a way, everybody's a blank slate,
everybody's got that carte blanche, but no, or tabula rasa, if that's what it was.
But in America- That's what it was like but that's
not in america it's like it's it's putting a right identity on an entire group and attempting to
garner things based on nothing more than skin color and if you believe that you can't really
then go say everybody needs to be treated on an individual basis equally you know and harley well
if we go you have to understand treat everyone on a level playing like treat everyone as like this is me this is my opinion we're all equal we are a hundred percent but i've come into a world
where the playing field is not equal so i'm not saying i believe you can be racist to a white
person but at the same time like if you know, like I understand how someone's going to say like, and I understand this now, a white person wearing dreads is benefiting from white supremacy or from a white society.
I'm not saying I agree fully with that angle.
I see where that angle comes from.
I don't at all.
Well, it's for me.
No.
Well, it's for me.
I had read this article where this dude wore dreads, this white dude, and this black girl slapped him around a bunch and got really mad telling him he was racist.
I saw that video.
And I saw that and I was like, that is fucking dumb.
Not only is it dumb, she's racist.
She's telling someone she can't do anything because of their color.
What I learned growing up is that's the definition of racism.
So I wanted to understand why would this happen?
You know, I'll be honest.
When I, about 20, 15 years ago on Halloween, I dressed up as Shaquille O'Neal.
And I went full brown makeup head to toe.
And I had never heard the term blackface.
And I guess a lot of people at the Halloween party didn't hear the term because I won best costume and it was celebrated and I must have been good and tasteful yeah and years
later when I look back on it I was like that's a terrible thing and I know that
now I got kind of educated because at one point there was this college party
and the people they did blackface. It wasn't terrible.
There's nothing wrong with it because your intent was, it's about your intent.
If you went in and you were accentuating racist themes, if your costume was a poor black person, if it was exaggerating African features in some way to make light and fun of them, that's racist.
But you went as one of the most successful, famous, celebrated black men of all time, and you chose to be him on your fantasy night.
You're celebrating the greatness of a black man.
I agree with what you're saying, except the thing is I agree with what you're saying because never in any billion lifetimes that I would have would I ever be affected by someone doing that.
But ultimately, fundamentally, of course not.
I'm not black.
If there were a black person.
I'm just saying we could sit here and debate if it's racist, if it's not racist.
And I see what you're saying.
I agree with you.
I mean someone can come to a party dressed like a rabbi
and I won't be bothered.
It's different if they come in dressed as a rabbi
with pennies and they're like,
give me money. Then I'm like,
that's a little too much there, buddy.
But if you come as the bear Jew from Inglourious Bastards,
there's nothing fucking wrong with that.
If this Halloween
I wear a Harley costume,
I think you're going to be like, that's pretty fucking funny.
He spent 12 weeks growing in that beard and what he did with the blue hair.
Harley doesn't have a history of slavery.
So what you're saying is black people are too weak to be dressed up as a Halloween costume.
They can't take it like you can. That is what I'm saying. It's like, it's kind of almost a paternalistic
attitude to have of like, you know, if they came dressed up as a Jew, I can handle it. It's not
going to affect me, but who knows how those black people might feel if I, once again, to Kyle's
point, if you went dressed as like a minstrel show from the 19, you know, 07 or something, and it was like genuinely racist, like you put the lips on and you tried to be offensive.
That's that's racist.
That's fucked up.
But you went there as Shaquille O'Neal because you're like, man, who do I really admire?
Who do I want to be?
Man, Shaq.
I fucking love Shaq.
I'm going to be like Shaq.
No, I get that.
I get that. But the problem with we're doing it and I don't want to get caught in this part because we have to be honest and accept the fact that we're an echo chamber. We're four white guys being like, it's not racist to put brown makeup on.
That's a little racist right there, saying that we're an echo chamber because we're four white guys.
Do we all agree because of the color of our skin? Clearly not, because we're having a good discussion.
But we can't. We can't.
We can't.
The last thing I would want to do and what I see a lot of things that happen is I wouldn't want to go and speak for the extent of what makes a blackface a blackface. All I'm saying is my point was just straight up that I did blackface, whether it was a racist version of it or whether it was just a little bit of brown
body paint it was something i would never do again and i wouldn't do it again because even
though we're not offended and i'm not offended and no one here is offended if one person out
there is offended then all i'm gonna say is you know what i don't need to dress up as Shaq that badly. I will decide if I really want to do something and it's worth it to me, then I'll choose to do it or not.
But if I know it bothers someone, then I'm not going to do it.
And now I would say that it's very similar to if someone stubs their toe and we've all stubbed our toes.
Someone stubs their toe and they're like, ah, fuck.
Oh, my God, it sucks. I'm like, let me see. Let let me see and i look at the toe and i'm like oh there's nothing stop
being a bitch like deep down there's a pain there i don't see it so i can't relate so i'm like you're
being a bitch shut up but what is that pain or it seems like we go back to slavery over and over
but look if just if if the african slave trade is what gives black people carte blanche to be offended and to set these rules and stuff, what about the Barbary slave trade where there were millions of white Christians enslaved in northern Africa?
Do I not get any carte blanche from that?
I brought up the shackling.
Those are my ancestors.
I brought up the carte blanche.
Lucky for you, I have a hood pass. I brought up the shackling to get to the white dread thing because it goes right in line with what you're saying where it's like, well, if we can't wear dreads because black people say we can't, then black people can't wear t-shirts because white man invented a t-shirt.
And let's start trading off things and taking things back.
Listen, personally, I love cultures mixing.
I love when people take things from other cultures and make it better.
And at the end, we'll have a single perfect culture.
But what's happening here is if you have dreads and you're white, you're a cool hippie.
No, you're dirty and probably smell bad.
That's what I think.
If you have dreads and you're black, you're a drug dealer.
No, you're dirty and you probably smell bad is what I think if you have dreads in your black you're a drug dealer now you're dirty and you probably smell bad is what I think but to dirty smell bad the both but dirty smell bad
hippie and dirty smell bad drug dealer are different things like the fact that these yeah
but this is like that I don't think people see that I don't think like when I see a guy
when I see a black guy and a white guy with dreadlocks and they both have it
honestly my only reaction to dreadlocks is how can you think that is good?
That's gross.
Exactly, right.
So I would say, you know what?
It's the same thing.
Like I'm not going to sit here and be like white people should have dreadlocks because white people with dreadlocks look stupid.
So I'm not going if someone out there is like, that bothers me, and we are not that people, we can't put ourselves and speak from those shoes.
So I agree with everything you say.
All I'm saying is it's a stubbed toe.
They stub their toe.
I can't see it.
I'm just going to say it bothers them.
I don't need dreads that badly, and I don't need to do – I don't need to dress up like Shatner.
Let me – I've got a question.
Kyle, jump in.
Kyle, jump in.
Who is the ambassador for all black people then who gets to decide what all black people are or are not offended by?
Is it individually based?
I know it's not.
If I want to dress up as Pancho Villa for Halloween, then who is the Mexican who gets to decide whether that's offensive or not?
Is there one elected Mexican official? Is it Vincente Fox? He's the most famous one I know.
Who do we go to? Do we take a poll? No. You find the first one who'll talk to CNN and get angry,
and he gets to decide, apparently. It's just all this reverse racism, which is a racist term to begin with. It's just regular.
Like, I don't like the thing of like, I don't like the idea of the claim that something is harming you is sufficient to shut down the thing you were doing.
So if you or someone Jewish, for instance, said, hey, I'm offended by that rabbi costume.
We need something going around the whole campus that says no more rabbi costumes.
And this is something that happens on college
campuses now. One or two people will get
offended. I would be Jews for
rabbi costumes.
See, that's good, and it shows that
you're in that group, but you're different.
You can come to a party that I'm at,
like, you know, even like,
like, you know, if you want to
come in with a jar of pennies, that's
just hack. Like, you're not funny.
But if you come in and, like, you have a Holocaust costume on, I'm not going to get offended.
I mean, that's pretty tasteless.
That's tasteless.
Forget racism.
Like, there's a taste issue there at that point.
I know, but I'm just saying I'm not an example.
I don't care.
Personally, I'm good with all of it.
But when you said who's the ambassador, I was thinking about putting together a list.
Now, it's not because I think that, like, this is what I believe in.
It's more stub-toe theory that, like, if this bothers people, I'd rather know.
Because a huge portion of my life is in show business and the entertainment industry and I saw Chris
Chris Pratt he did a Instagram video and he was alright guys turn up your headphones to listen to this and
He got shit from the deaf community
Cuz your headphones so they he got shit for that, but how did they know?
And if you're deaf switch your captions to all caps
it's about to go off the next the next day like because he's chris pratt i mean if it were me i'd
be like oh my god are you fucking serious really really if i wanted to win him back he's like asl
but because he's chris pratt the next day he had released this whole
this this press release this like this updated version of the video and he did it all in sign
language but that's because it's it's he turned it into a positive because he's in that line of work
now maybe deep down he's like oh my god but of course he was like that deep down because
everybody sees it's ridiculous right so he turned it into a positive.
And so I'm just saying here are a list of some things that I would put, and I have called this the list, an ongoing list of all things that may offend someone potentially in the 21st century.
Oh.
Okay.
Now, this is important.
This list is for ignorant people that want to be enlightened. Because if
you are already enlightened, then the simplicity of this list will offend you. But it's really like,
it's a list for people that are not enlightened. So we can-
Harley, we're all very woke.
Let's say all of us, I say I am not enlightened just so that I can be ignorant. You know what?
It's not bad to be ignorant.
And if I bother someone, I'm sorry.
I'm ignorant.
It's not the worst thing.
I can admit to it.
I would just rather not be racist, whatever.
But blackface, we spoke about it.
Just don't do it.
Unless you're Robert Downey Jr.
He fucking killed it and got nominated for an Oscar.
That shit was the best thing ever.
There was nothing racist about that.
Let's go through the list more quickly. I'm curious it black blackface uh that's number one are these in any
order by the way no sombrero cinco de mayo you're white just don't put a sombrero on listen i don't
i'm not saying this you are you are trolling you made, bitch. You can't disassociate yourself from the rules you made.
I never saw a white person put on a sombrero and it needed to happen.
It never needed to happen.
I have.
I'm just saying if it bothers Mexican people or whatever, just don't wear a sombrero.
I want to hear more of it.
A sombrero is the best sun hat out there.
Those people live in a sunny place.
But then why do you only wear it on Cinco sunny place. My dad gets on his tractor and
mows the big field. He's got a hat
so big.
I'm just saying these are
complaints that
I've seen and some of them
obviously are extreme. I'm just
saying the list. I'm not
enforcing the list. It's a list of
things that may offend someone. Be aware. It's not a'm not enforcing the list it's a list of things that may offend someone
be aware it's not a rule book just be aware okay a rabbi costume once again i'm jewish i don't care
you could do it i even said you could be a prisoner zero eight five seven six whatever
you could do what you want but i'm just saying just know that there are people that would get offended by a rabbi costume. Okay.
Indian.
Nope.
Native.
Oh, you racist scum.
I think you meant to say First Nations people and or Aboriginal North Americans.
American headdress.
Just so you know, I had it in quotations to enunciate the whole point of it at all.
But yeah.
I mean, I'm 3% Native American, so I'm a little offended.
A Native American headdress or at a festival.
Okay.
All right.
Well, you know that bothers people?
Did you know that?
I'm part Cherokee. I feel like it's like 128th or something.
Cherokee.
Can I rock the headdress?
I would debate yes.
I would say like, as far as I'm concerned,
you could be just a straight up white dude.
And you could be like, this is actually passed down from my family.
And my grandfather was insane.
And he wore it every year on this day.
So I honor the tradition.
There could be a million reasons.
I don't know your life story.
Just know that maybe-
The only reason you need, though, if I'm going to fucking Subway and I want to wear my headdress,
I'm able to do it.
And I should be able to go stand in line and get my BMT and be good to go in my big headdress.
You killed so many of those people.
There aren't enough of them around anymore to be offended.
The problem is people being offended for others because that's their game.
That brings me to my next one on the list.
That's the worst thing about white people.
The next one on my list is geishas.
The next one on my list is geishas.
Now, at the Super Bowl, Katy Perry did a geisha performance,
and she got destroyed for appropriating Japanese culture, blah, blah, blah.
Some YouTuber went to Japan and showed all these Japanese people her performance,
and they were like, oh, my God, we love it.
She loves Japan.
She loves our culture.
And he was like, actually, she got in trouble for it. And everyone was like, why?
And they're like, guess. And I guess, like,. And everyone was like, why? And they're like, guess.
And I guess like, you know, smart culture, smart people.
They were like, maybe if people think that she's not doing it appropriately, that it would offend Japanese people.
But I'm Japanese and I'm happy that she's doing it.
So there is an outrage culture.
This list is a mystery to an extent of outrage culture where everything can be offensive.
But at the same time, if I'm going to go and put blackface in here with the rabbi costume and stuff, just know that some of the things on the list debatably to some extent can get to an absolutely very racist place.
Just as a quick.
So like when I'm like, yeah, it depends how you do it.
It's like I'm saying, like, you know, a lot of it is in jest. It depends how you do it. offended on behalf of Japanese people because of some sort of like, you know, guilt that's
attached. It's getting pretty extreme and farfetched there. You know, it's a little,
it's a little much, especially when we have Japanese people being like, I love it,
you know? So it is pretty goofy there. A white person with dreads, white person with cornrows.
We went, we went over that. I was just saying that, you know,
Uriah Faber's a racist. He's on a podcast with Snoop Dogg. Does Snoop Dog just saying that Uriah Faber's a racist fuck
he's on a podcast with Snoop Dogg
does Snoop Dogg know that Uriah used to rock those cornrows
when he fought
Clay Guida too
cornrows and dreads do not look good on anyone
those are my two least favorite
hairstyles
it's that like
specious
if you kept your hair natural if you came came into work, any of us, with our hair natural, your boss wouldn't say anything.
But like if a black person went into work with their hair natural, they have to do something.
That's not true.
No, that's not true.
My hair would be a greasy mat.
No, that's not true.
My hair would be a greasy mat.
Dude, if a black person goes into a place of work with an afro or something with their natural hair,
and a boss says, hey, get that taken care of, that's HR, that's suing.
Dude, that happens right now.
But wait, I could go the other way.
Here's the direction that I would take on that. I would say this.
All a white person is required to have for their hair, really, is for it to be cut to a business-style length.
Mostly, right?
Okay, but –
You don't have to comb it.
You don't have to do much to it.
If it's the length that mine is, which is pretty short right now, and I don't do anything, your boss doesn't say a word.
Black people, same thing.
If they just hit that with the clippers and that's what they're rocking, then nothing happens.
But if you let your hair grow –
And I can practically sit on it because it's just natural where I don't do anything for years.
I can't rock that.
That's not business appropriate.
I could like –
Show us your hair.
Yeah.
My hair is long.
I'll tie it up.
I tie it up.
Okay.
That's fine.
I'll tie it up. I tie it up. Okay, that's fine. You know, if my hair were like, like, of the same texture of an African American person, like this ponytail is very different. It's different. The hair behaves differently. and it was their way of not conforming to a white society and white people like kylie jenner would have to actively seek out dreading her hair is that whereas what happened naturally to a black
person a white person would have to put the effort in and then it's cool because you get the hood
street style of your hair and the best part is you don't have to deal with the rest of it like
actually being black and dealing with the rest of the stuff that comes with it so i'm not saying if you have dreads you're
racist i'm just saying i could understand how people would say being white and having dreads
is someone benefiting from a white man's society could we at least agree that this world we live
in a white man's world no i think that's really ethnocentric to pretend that the whole world is just here in the U.S.
and Canada. The thing is, here's where the angle is. I want to take
that on from. Harley, I know that you've hired people.
Did you care if they were black
or white or even man or woman?
I've hired people and it was not one of
my criteria at all. And if you told me
that women were 30% cheaper, like
some wage gap proponents say,
I would have hired only women.
Yes, every company would.
They'd be like, wait, you mean women are 30%?
Oh, oh my God, we can spend more on advertising.
We can do this, we can do that.
Stock price would go through the roof.
If you could add 30% practically to your margins
of consuming your own labor.
But you guys don't think that America
is a white man's country?
I mean, what do you mean by that?
Look, I'll admit that white people seem to be doing the best.
I mean, is it an Asian country?
Is it very much?
Hold on real quick.
Does the U.S. unfairly give advantages to Koreans, Japanese, Asian individuals?
Because they actually are performing better than white people at pretty much every echelon of society.
They make more money.
They graduate college at higher rates.
They're actually penalized at Ivy League schools
because their scores are higher.
And that same thing happens to Jewish people, I believe.
Like, how do you, like our Korean founders
didn't put that into law.
Like, it just seems like really kind of simplistic.
Like, yeah, yeah, exactly.
I was making, I was joking.
But like, it's just saying that it's a white man's world
seems like, or a white man's country or whatever.
It really seems to undercut
the contributions of everybody
who's not a white guy and almost in its own way
is like
that low expectation.
It's the opposite of any white people who has achieved.
It's extra. No, it's not
undercutting what people have done who are not white.
It's actually extra points
to them. In its own way, it's not undercutting what people have done who are not white. It's actually extra points to them.
Yeah.
And then in its own way,
it's kind of like,
it's paternalistic and saying you can't succeed without my extra help.
You need the white man to come in and bail you out.
Like in that way,
it is kind of racist.
Like if you,
if you say to someone,
Oh,
you actually need a few extra points on your SAT and Sung Lee over there,
we're going to take him down or her down a little bit to even it out like here's like that I think is
racist that you guys might not whenever I see a black person described as
articulate I think like I suspect that the person who said that thinks most
people most black people are not articulate you know like oh yeah you
know like Barack Obama he's a black guy and he speaks well huh how's that you know for like joe biden said he's clean he's articulate this is what joe biden
said about obama that's true when yeah yeah yeah racist biden but like and you know of course it
can come from people who aren't racist i think but when someone calls a black person articulate i
think that you know
maybe they have low expectations of black people i can see where you're coming from there but like
and like the whole you know it's a white man's country that in its own way is kind of you know
in it's a little racist towards white people because it's like oh that guy working at jiffy
lube that's the same he's in that same white
man group as a congressman as a senator like you you roll the dice or you reach into a fucking
bingo machine and you pull a ball out of white men in the country right but chances are that
guy has no influence whatsoever out more than a normal guy does it's i've never gone into a meeting
or met a person that i don't know and instantly been like this person probably
thinks i'm poor or this person probably thinks i'm not as well educated like you don't have to
say that a white man is articulate like to what woody is saying like there's truth in humor and
in south park's like difficulty thing that we were laughing at before about the harder it is, the blacker you are, it comes from a true place.
Now, I'm not saying everything I say is like, this is how I believe moving forward or whatnot.
I could just recognize that white people have it easier.
I really do believe that.
Some white people will have it harder than any black person you've ever met.
easier. I really do believe that. Some white people will have it harder than any black person you've ever met. But on average, I mean, men have it easier than women, I believe. We control
everything. I mean, that's also not true. You're taking these things and making it so black and
white. We control everything. We control media. What do I control? We control the country.
What does Kyle control? What do you control? You're part of Team White Men.
No, I'm not.
You're a white guy.
No, when you break things down into teams like this,
you're doing what you said you didn't want to do a few minutes ago,
which is putting people in the program.
No, I was never saying it's not what I wanted to do.
I was saying on the opposite end of Nazis, you have two parties,
and the big conflict comes from people that are evil,
even playing field, and the other people that are like evil even playing field and the other people
that are like but remember that it's not a level playing field game white people have it easier
so that's the conflict i could i could say that i i can agree on both sides i could see on both sides
but i'm just saying if fundamentally we're gonna sit here and be like it's not a white man's country it's like well come on
most voters
are white women there are more females
in the country than males why are they
not the ones who are controlling the country
it wasn't very long ago
what was it like six months ago when the
president and the attorney general were black
men
I mean how many
Condoleezza Rice colin powell these these are
massive positions of power filled by america is there racism in the usa against white people
against black people against all races there's does it hold but like does it hold people back
racism on joe rogan's podcast a while ago. I thought it was pretty interesting.
He says it's inherent in all people, all people.
And he's like, you go way back to when we were evolving, I'll make up a number, 50,000 years ago.
And you have a group of, one group of one tribe and you have another tribe and these tribes hardly interact.
And then they see each other for the first time.
It's like because of pathogens, right?
Like if I give my pathogens to you
and you give your pathogens to me,
in short order, there'll be neither of us.
That's what happens.
So instinctively, people just want to stay in their own tribe.
That was his explanation.
Only 13% of the United States population is African American.
It's black.
So why would you think that
you would see more black
people in positions of power than white people
when we're 70% of the population?
Shouldn't it be proportional?
Don't get me wrong.
I don't think we should aim for
a proportional mix.
I'm just going off. Chiz says it's
70, and he knows all.
Chiz isn't a white man either.
He's Spanish.
So,
so he knows.
Yeah.
And I am,
I'm a first nation person.
That's,
that's the group that I'm deciding.
I just,
I just read an article like two days ago.
It was,
they put on,
they were looking for someone to be a part of the,
the Senate or something in some town.
And they put on the listing as like white as one of the requirements and i'd sent it out and like it was an accident there he said it was
like local he was i don't know experienced and he was white like on his facebook like as recently
yeah and uh and you know what and you know what the response to that was everybody said yeah he
she's white that's why i'll vote oh no everybody was outraged it was a huge story because people don't like racist shit like
that like when you see someone doing things like that you go oh a racist i don't care for that like
i just don't like the the pretending that like oh this story is is actually indicative of a of a
huge swell problem it's like no, no, it's not.
It's everybody's outraged by it.
It's an enormous story.
And you're not seeing anybody on any side aside from genuine racists saying,
oh, that's good.
Yeah.
Before we get away from it,
before we get away from it,
I did just want to say like,
my whole point on bringing up the fact
that I dressed like Shaq when I was younger
and reading about it
later and then seeing how people would get offended from it all I was saying was oh I understand now
that that blackface Shaq scenario can happen again with other things just like with the white people
with dreads I look at it and I say I disagree but. But then again, I'm a white guy.
So I'm just going to say, as a white guy, I can't imagine what it's like to be you with your stubbed toe. But if you tell me that it's a stubbed toe and it hurts, then I'm just going to hope you're actually telling the truth about it.
And I'm going to consider that moving forward.
I totally understand your point.
I get it.
moving forward i i totally understand your point like i i get it and my only point through it is by by labeling all white people as having intrinsic benefits by nature of their skin color
and also saying that due to their skin color their opinions are not valid on certain topics not by
nature of how good the argument is but by nature of the fact that they're white that's that is in
that is racist
giving people more credence to their arguments not based on merit but based on color like that's my
only point and if if a black man wants to come dressed as a pilgrim to my halloween party you're
more than welcome you know you want to put on that silly belt buckle on your hat and on your shoes
and everything and you know come in beat up the guy dressed as an indian like do your thing
like it's cool it i'm sure it won't be a white guy dressed as an indian because he would be
terrified to do so if he poisons the indian's food with like chlamydia or whatever it is
no because that's historically his dick all over it oh yeah also box only i mean also never
never touch uh there was like only two more things on the list there.
Oh, let's hear him.
I wrote St. Patrick's Day.
No, they're white.
Nobody cares.
It's true.
But I did fuck them.
I saw.
I saw.
Yeah.
No, seriously.
It's the only people I hate.
No kidding.
I saw.
I saw like a post that it was just like, you know, like the whole leprechaun thing come St. Patrick's Day and the kiss me, I'm Irish thing, blah, blah, blah.
Just saying.
There's people out there.
Don't touch a black person's hair.
I don't touch anybody's hair that I don't know in public.
You're right.
Don't even talk about it.
On the black person's hair thing, that's the first one I lined up with.
Yeah, don't touch people. Yeah, no, but don't talk about it on the black people's hair thing and that's the first one I lined up with yeah yeah don't touch people yeah no but don't don't talk about it either well they can't ask about it like because I because I feel like a lot of
white people gonna say I like your hair just don't secondly actually don't don't
come and remember I did say in this list that it's for the ignorant. So if you are enlightened, the list itself could offend you in its bluntness.
Yeah.
Like, I feel like if I saw you wearing a yarmulke, I feel like I'm perfectly within my rights to say, hey, that little hat – if I don't know, hey, that little hat you got, tell me more.
Tell me more because I noticed – because in my religion, we take our hats off, and in yours, you put them on to show respect.
Tell me more.
Like it's not coming from – and in the same way, I feel like if you didn't know, you could ask a black person, hey, so I understand that you don't wash your hair regularly.
What's that about?
I agree with you because as a person who values information, you need to know a person that you are friendly with.
But to go up to a person you
don't know and be like, how'd you get your hair all crazy like that? Is it naturally like that
when you wake up? It's different. Or going up to a black guy at the gym and being like, damn,
you got really good genetics. You're naturally really built. Who are these people?
Let me do the black hair thing, because here's the thing. Black women don't like their natural
hair often, right? I'm painting with a broad brush, but whatever. So the hair they wear, in my mind, hold on.
I'm painting with a broad brush, I know.
It's almost a costume, right?
Like, they want you to think that your hair is actually what grows out of an Indian woman's head.
That's where most of the hair comes from.
So if you say to, I don't know, a 50-year-old white woman,
Hey, your makeup, how do you hide the bags under your eyes?
I know they're there.
Tell me more about how you do that disguise that you have on.
Then they might be like, you know what?
I don't really want to talk about the bags under my eyes.
Pretty ageist.
Yeah, right?
So when a black woman changes her hair
so that it looks like a 19-year-old young Indian woman's hair, then you just say,
that looks nice on you.
Is that cultural
appropriation when black women
wear Indian women's hair?
It also seems like they're taking advantage of
a group that's impoverished as well at the same time
because those women don't want to cut their hair off.
I don't care about this.
It's actually
black people conforming
to white people's beauty standards
that have been set. No, don't you steal
agency away from black people. If you think about it,
don't steal agency from black people.
It's literally, it is
a white person's hair.
No, it's an Indian person's hair, isn't it?
But it is like,
essentially, you can find white people
with that hair. What it isn't is you can find white people with that hair.
What it isn't is it's not – You can find Japanese people with that hair.
It's not – but it's not black people hair.
And you have to understand your country has a specific relationship with black people specifically versus every other type of people out there.
Like white and black is a very big deal in the USA beyond white and Asian or white and Jewish or white and any like black.
Why is it? Because we kept the Japanese in internment camps.
We turned away boatloads of Jews and sent them back to be exterminated.
It's built off of black people.
We well, and I'm telling you the equal atrocities that we did to these other groups.
We turned away boats full of Jews and sent them to the concentration camps.
Nothing is the same as
hundreds of years of
slavery and building the entire country
and then literally, you know,
like, up until...
How much of the country do you think was here before 1865?
60 years ago. But up to
60 years ago... Well, listen,
I'm not going to go and question
America in general. I love the country I I really love USA like I love it just as
much if not more than Canada I've lived there for two years I visit all the time
I actually love USA but like essentially it's a country that was built off of
slaves and like up to even 60 years ago it was like they had to go to different
bathrooms and different water fountains
So like it's still pretty fresh like some of those people are alive that lived during that time like it's it's a fresher
There are people who are alive who were interned in Japanese internment camps during World War two American citizens whose family members were off
Fighting for our freedoms and we locked them up in a basic a concentration camp
You got a spotlight on you as you went to go take a piss at night.
Like George Takai.
But you don't see Japanese Americans coming up with any of this shit.
You see them rising to the fucking top.
You're even saying a country identity already with what you're saying in itself.
Like Japan, they have Japan. Like a Japanese American, they have a Japan.
They have America. they have something like
being you know uh black like born and raised in the states it's like it's different than
uh comparing it to a japanese american just because i believe like i said the history of
usa and black people specifically what about what about all of the the as Asians who were used as slave labor to build the railroads?
Oh, the Chinese?
Of course.
Listen.
It's multicultural.
In this day and age, what I could just – Primarily Chinese.
It seems like USA has always been the most racist to black people in the sense that the internment camp didn't last, like, what, 200 years?
The most racist to black people on like the world stage?
No, everyone is racist to everyone.
I was just trying to understand what you meant.
In fact, I actually, I would believe that Jews,
I would debate that Jews are more hated worldwide than black people
in the terms of racist world.
Certainly by capita.
I think white people are also one
of the most hated people in the world in terms of racism yeah but I think white
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Look at Woody, Mr. Taxes.
We can get back on taxes if you want.
We should not, probably.
No taxes.
But you know what we do need to talk about
is Game of Thrones.
Na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na.
Man, that finale.
Dick Masterson knows nothing.
Yeah, he knows nothing.
The penultimate episode,
the one right before the finale,
was one of the best ever,
if not the best ever.
I think Woody thinks it's the best ever. I think Chiz might think it's the best ever, if not the best ever.
I think Woody thinks it's the best ever.
I think Chiz might think it's the best ever.
I think you said that.
And I think it's in my top three of best ever.
There's a couple of episodes that I think are a little bit better,
but the finale was excellent
because a lot of shit happened, right?
The biggest thing for me
wasn't the wall coming down,
although that's crazy,
and finally, boom, the story's moved forward.
It's almost as big of a deal as Daenerys finally getting on the mainland.
The biggest thing for me was that the Starks finally got their shit together.
It's clear that Sansa and Arya's little spat was real to me, and it seems to me – and what happened was they went and talked to Bran.
Sansa went and talked to Brand. Sansa went and talked to Brand. They deleted that scene, but that was filmed and written into the show
that Sansa goes and talks to Brand, and he fills her the fuck in.
They cut that out for whatever reason.
But that was a real spat they were having, because if you think about it,
it's a little ridiculous for them to be having all of these.
Theory or confirmed, what you just said?
Confirmed.
Okay.
So it would have been kind of ridiculous for them to be having these conversations where they're going at each other and just assuming that Littlefinger is listening in.
And he wasn't listening in.
They never showed us Littlefinger hearing Arya talk to Sansa about becoming the Lady of Winterfell by cutting her face off or that scary conversation they had on the ramparts where she's holding the scroll up and reading it.
Littlefinger didn't know about any of that.
He set those events in motion,
but he didn't know exactly what was happening.
So, Sansa goes to Bran,
he fills her in on everything, and
then that moment happens where they
lead Arya in.
I was like, oh my fucking god.
Littlefinger might win the Game of Thrones.
I was in that
mode. You were that far?
I thought we're one
decision away from little finger winning the game of thrones because all it's going to take is
sansa kills aria little finger slides right on in there now he's ruining the veil and winterfail
he's the warden of the north he's the man now do you think that at the point of this trial
aria doesn't know i i think i'm going to say that i think they cut the scene i think they cut that
scene because like for little way little finger or uh varus to be listening you don't need the
show to show you that they're listening because of at any point if anything is ever done on that show
at any point you can assume that varus and little finger know and so when the show was happening i
was with you dude right up until right before i'm like what the fuck is gonna go on then she said
little finger i was like oh sick i'm like so like bran is the evidence like Sansa is the sentencing and, and Arya is the executioner.
And it's like really like the one guy that really got Ned Stark and they all
got to take a part of it.
But what's cool is I,
I,
I naturally understood why they had that Bran scene,
but if they did cut it,
you could just make it that Arya and Sansa were one step ahead of Littlefinger.
And it wouldn't
be that bad because remember when little finger was spying on aria when he gave her that letter
when i saw that that bothered me i was like no little finger can't be that sick she's better
than him yeah now i can watch that scene and be like she was playing him because they took that
brand scene out like the brand scene kind of neuters Arya and
Sansa a bit. I agree. Where if you
take it out, it makes them kind of cooler.
Like, they were conspirators,
you know? And you don't get the
tension of the, like, the showdown
scene there where Littlefinger gets the most
unfair trial in Westerosi history,
right? Yeah. Like, that was a kangaroo
court. There wasn't even a sentence!
There wasn't even a sentence! Sansa just nods and Arya... If you have Bran as evidence, Right yeah, like like that was a kangaroo
If you have brand as evidence you don't need anything else like Bran was there so it's our little brother with the severe head trauma
That's good enough for me
Like I get what Harley's saying with, like,
wanting to believe Arya was tricking him there,
but I went the other direction with it where I was like, okay, Littlefinger,
this is all he's got, really.
Like, his house isn't, like, super storied.
He, like, kind of co-opted another house to get power.
Like, his entire competency is being sneaky and clever like that's it and so i was like oh
okay it does make sense that he would be out sneaking aria because aria is more concerned
with yeah kind of a broad yeah i want to be a warrior i want to be an assassin i want to be
this that little fingers just all his points go into sneak yeah i believe that like i wasn't
completely blown away i was just bummed out more i I was like, oh, I wish Arya was sneakier than him.
But in the end, I guess she was.
I was glad Littlefinger died just from the really superficial aspect of he's a very major character.
He's right there amongst the most major characters.
He grabbed Ned Stark.
He grabbed Ned Stark and said, I told you not to
trust me. He said this whole thing in motion.
I wanted him dead since that moment.
Littlefinger
is behind most of what
Game of Thrones is.
Virtually all of it. He had Jon Arryn killed,
which brings Ned Stark down south.
Then he kills Ned Stark.
The whole thing is him.
Most major characters in the whole show, right?
Of course you have Dany and Jon Snow.
Who's third?
Littlefinger's on the short list, right?
You might argue Tyrion.
But if I said Littlefinger was more significant than Tyrion, I'd have a strong argument.
Well, here's what I would say about Littlefinger.
Littlefinger and Varys.
When they are on the screen, that's when it's like,
shh, and you lean forward.
Because those two guys, and when you get a
conversation with Littlefinger and Varys, it's like,
shut the fuck up, we're moving forward like
ten seasons right now. Do you remember
in the first season when Littlefinger and Varys
are having a conversation in the throne room
and they're like, ah, the last time
I saw you, or the last time you
saw me? And he's like, well, the last time I saw you, you were doing this and that.
And Littlefinger's like, oh, well, the last time I saw you, you were speaking to that gentleman from across the sea.
And Varys is like, he saw me conspiring with the guy where I'm setting up.
He was conspiring with this guy from SOS or something yeah With uh with uh to get the Khaleesi over
You know he varies has been working to get the Khaleesi over here since season one
And he was like oh shit little finger knows and of course little finger knew but it's but chaos is a ladder
It was brilliant to finally get that that sweet revenge for Ned Stark that you've been waiting on there are more people who are responsible
I guess Cersei of course is
in some way I think responsible for Ned Stark's death.
Less than Littlefinger
is. But I recently
found out the guy.
We already got him.
He already got his comeuppance. The guy who swung the sword
though whose name's escaping me.
Ill and Pain. Ill and Pain.
The actor died. Oh really? Yeah.
Yeah. I didn't know that that's why
we haven't seen him since i guess you know you know the um a couple a couple really crazy things
happened this season of game of thrones that never happened before in the episode uh not the
like the third to last east watch it was the one where at the end they walked out of the wall
and it was like so badass it was like all the dudes and they were going out to the north
and they they were set on you know getting a white walker and i was like that is so awesome
that is so so awesome so cool and i walked away and i sat and thought about i was like that's so awesome
you know what's really weird is that i like the writing better than what i would come up with
and i come up with shit all the time and if you asked me what to do i would have said
well let's go and get who are my top 10 here? We got Jon Snow,
we got The Mountain, I mean The Hound, we got Tormund, we got, you know what, let's even bring
back Hammerboy Baratheon, I love that boy, let's bring him back, let's get, oh, you know what,
Ser Jorah, I fucking love that dude, let's get him if if this was up to me
i would have put that team together and the problem with that is the show has never done
what i wanted and and now they went out there and and it was like fan fiction my fan fiction and
that gave me a weird feeling because that's not what's supposed to happen normally and then the the next episode when they went there and they they they fought the army of
the dead someone got killed by the bear and i was like who was it and i go back i'm like oh
random guy i didn't know was on the crew yeah and then i saw someone else i was who's that oh
just oh there was another random guy and then then the Hound and Tormund had a conversation,
which was granted the funniest conversation
in Game of Thrones history.
And when that conversation was done,
Tormund was like getting pulled by the dead.
And it just seemed really weird
that the Hound pulled him out
rather than calling him a cunt and letting him die.
But I get it because now the show's what I want. weird that the hound pulled him out rather than calling him a cunt and letting him die but i get
it because now the show's what i want and game of thrones isn't supposed to be what i want like
i'm supposed to be like fuck i can't believe they fucking killed torment like that guy's the best i
hate this show i love it so much and like that's what connects me but going out with disposable
good guys in game of thrones is like unheard of to give like eight
super strong characters and the only one you kill off is the one who has a history of resurrecting
is really it doesn't cut it and then to have like when they're like you run back you're the fastest
and he ran back and then they're like go tell danny and she got to fly there and it was like
damn bitch why don't you just start with the fucking dragons fly over there see what's going on fly back instead we took our eight best generals
and stranded them there and two guys and you know what like i love i love the spear chuck on the
dragon down but like why didn't you aim at the bigger one that's parked with on it and if you hit that one
night king you end it all and then on top of it when they left
yeah do you think he had two spears like he did he did like three yeah he had one for each dragon
so so one thing to keep in mind and it's it's i think it's it's definitely the reason he left them on that island.
Because the Night King could have been chucking spears at Jon Snow, right?
He could have been throwing rocks at Jon Snow.
He's got a hell of an arm.
It was a trap.
It was a trap.
Because he needs that dragon to knock the wall down, and he knows it.
That's the only thing.
Was anyone else underwhelmed by the wall coming down?
So the wall had been built up as this thing for seven years, right?
To protect from the White Walkers.
Yeah, to protect from the White Walkers.
That's what the knights did, and the wildlings, I guess, to some extent.
But that wall had stood for ages.
I don't know how old that wall is supposed to be.
They probably tell you, but like thousands of years old or something insane.
How many years did you say?
I think it's like 8,000. That's the number in my head it's a real long time so that wall is like
a permanent fixture in the map you know in this play it's not it's not destructible if we were
in battlefield here and then suddenly he gets a dragon knocks the wall down in like 15 25 seconds
and the wall's done stood for 8 years, and now he gets a dragon,
and that's all there is to it.
And I was just like, really?
Like, I thought the wall would be tougher to beat
than, like, a 15-second season.
It's because the wall is magic,
and they said that the wall has to be brought down by magic.
And, like, I was kind of disappointed.
Like, Chiz just wrote this, too,
that I was kind of hoping that the Night King
would go up with, like, a staff or something and do something and do some wizard ancient magic and shatter it or something.
But still, technically, that dragon that he resurrected, that's magic.
And so he used magic to break the magic wall.
I like what they did, though, because you don't need to make the Night King any stronger, really, because there's still so much mystery to it.
But what it does is it shows you
how powerful the dragons are
and how crucial they are and it
feels like a really like Empire
Strikes Back ending because it's like we just
lost a big we took a big
fucking L like
idiots we brought three dragons
to fucking fly around in circles
while we take 20 minutes
to get on the fucking dragon.
That's the biggest hindsight is 2020
in this whole series.
Jon Snow's like, no, no, no, I'm close to leveling
up. Just a few more here.
I'm 200 XP
from being 55. Come on.
Remember how they don't go through, they don't
go on the water, right? You know how they don't go
on the water to the White Walkers? They go underwater,
right? No, because remember they
didn't cross the water when Jon Snow went on that
boat and he just stared at him and they had
that stare down? When Jon Snow was underwater,
didn't he have a lot of trouble from other White
Walkers that were underwater?
Am I crazy? Well, they're holding on to
him, but they're all sinking. They can't swim.
They can still squeeze and stuff and grab.
I might not remember
it right, but I thought that when he went right, but I thought when he went down there,
I thought when he went down there, there were tons of sunk Whitewaters giving him a hard time.
That was part of his issue.
There are, but they're sunk.
All I'm saying is, who put those chains on that dragon?
Well, there's tons of Whitewalkers down there.
You just guide the chains.
Where did those chains come from?
Did you see the size of these chains?
They're dragon chains.
I know, I know.
I assume if he brought the spears, he brought some chains.
And then he lowers them down, and there's like 75 White Walkers already at the bottom of the lake.
And they're like, sure, boss, tie it onto the wings.
Yeah, that'll work.
We're talking about an ice pool versus a huge chain.
Like, this chain is like it's the size of a truck.
And, like, it was pulling the dragon out.
Now, listen, I'm not the type of guy truck and like it was pulling the dragon now listen i'm
not the type of guy to sit here and be like well i don't like the inconsistency at the beginning of
the person that's not what i'm saying here we are we have a show what i'm saying is we have a show
that has consistently give us given us nine on tens that That if we are not vigilant
before our eyes,
we won't even realize it,
we're getting seven and a halfs and eights.
Now that's still a phenomenal show.
And that's still like high up
in Breaking Bad episodes
as Breaking Bad went on
one of the best TV series.
But I'm just saying,
we get nines and tens
and I think we got slipped
like two sneaky eights recently.
And we got blinded by everything that we do these
days hype
we're like oh look at my favorite characters
working together but that's not Game of Thrones
like Jamie Lannister
should have fucking died when he was
in his suit and he got into the water
you fucking sink and I love Jamie
Lannister I'm glad he didn't die and that's a problem
because I'm glad he didn't die can i tell you how that should have been rewritten
that holds like there's a rewrite for that that makes a thousand times more sense so like they
bron bron jumps on jamie they fall in the water tyrian saw that shit happen the dragon saw that
shit happen and the calise saw that shit happen they're right fucking there you can hit them with
a rock they're so close. You have
the entire Dothraki horde at your
beck and call. You can just yell loud enough and
they'll hear you. They should have hauled them both
out of the water, taken the prisoner. Then
Tyrion comes over and says, look,
we gotta make a truce. There are
dead things coming. And Jaime
says, no, I don't believe this. It doesn't matter if you
fucking believe it or not. You're gonna go back
and you're gonna tell Cersei about this.
Tell her that we've got to have a truce.
Now you go, but we're keeping Bronn.
Here's the best part of this scenario.
You get Jamie to go do his thing.
But now Bronn gets to go up north of the wall and fucking get rid of Gendry because nobody cares about him.
He hasn't been lifting.
All right.
He hasn't been lifting.
My boy Taylor could whoop
his ass let's get real all right he just would get him an arm wrestling match he's gonna take
that baratheon right out dude's five foot eight tops so wouldn't you rather have braun up north
of the wall than ginger 100 up there and braun dies that's so honestly i would have taken braun
dying by the dragon or jamie jamie had gold arm, a gold hand, and full armor,
and he somehow swims underwater like 500 meters away from the dragon.
I'm just saying I'm not like a picky guy.
It's just not like Game of Thrones to do this.
So I'm not getting mad at it.
I'm just like it looks like we've gone into the realm of the TV writers.
And it feels like TV writing has taken over from what the real writing was.
Like, it feels like, I really feel like it got passed off in these last three.
Like, you know what was weird?
When they're like, hey, Sansa, I saw you the night you were raped.
And she's like, oh, okay.
And that's it. And then there was another scene where Sans she's like, oh, okay. And that's it.
And then there was another scene where Sansa's like,
oh, what's that, Arya? And she's like, oh, just my bag of
faces. And they're like, okay.
Those would have been full episodes
three years ago. I've got a counter for that.
Okay, we've gone to the realm of TV
writers. I hear what you're saying.
Me, and I've said this before, we've gone to
the realm of the playoffs, right?
After watching the fucking Chicago Blackhawks murder the Phoenix Coyotes all season long,
finally, the shitty episodes have been eliminated.
Those things in season three where at the end of it, I say, you know what?
Like, I feel like nothing even happened in this show.
Like, I could tell you all the plot advancement in 30 seconds, and that's a problem.
Now we're in playoff episodes.
Now shit does happen.
The dragons come out.
Danny fucks Jon Snow.
The good shit does happen because it's the playoffs.
You know, the fucking, I don't know, Seattle Seahawks actually play the New England Patriots.
It goes down because we're in the last seven or eight episodes of the entire series.
We're supposed to get good shit right now.
These are the finals.
I'm okay with big things happening.
I totally see what you're saying about that.
Like, it's speeding up.
But also, like, I do dislike
how it's become more formulaic.
Like, I don't feel...
In season one, two, three, four, I guess,
when any character, even main character like Jon Snow goes into a conflict I have none of the confidence that I
have when I'm watching a show on tv or a movie where I'm like it's gonna be fine like I'm
watching it like shit they might this might be the end for this person little finger died
little finger died but we've but he's not even a good... We wanted that. It's the deaths we don't want.
I'm happy that Jaime didn't die,
which is kind of anti-Game of Thrones,
but because his story arc is not
completed yet. Before the end
of this series, he is going to kill Cersei.
He'll do it somehow. He's going to stab
her in the back, and that's going to be way more
satisfying to see Cersei
die, so I'm not too mad about it.
I have to admit, your chain point,
I didn't even
consider that, and now it makes it so much...
How did they get those chains?
Let me explain the chains.
Alright, so the Night
King has the same powers Bran
has. He has the greensight, or whatever
they call it. He can see the future to some extent.
He's not completely omnipotent, just as
Bran isn't. He didn't know right off the
bat about the annulment.
But he did know that, hey,
if they're going to be on the island,
Dragon Lady's going to come and try to save them.
I need that dragon to knock down the wall.
He brought the chains with him.
Now, the origin of the chains?
I couldn't say. I could make some
assumptions. Did you compare Bran to the
Night King on purpose there? Yeah. Did you compare Bran to the Night King on purpose there?
Yeah.
Do you think he is the Night King?
There's a strong possibility.
Yeah, I know all the fan theories.
Some people think that Bran travels back in time,
but he travels way too far back for his own good.
He wargs into the guy who gets turned into the Night King,
inhabits his body for like 8 000 years and
he's been driven insane up north of the wall and now he's trying to come up north to set things
right there's also the depictions of bran and the ice and fire book brand the builder constructing
the wall and he's sitting on like a thing being carried he's i just like i like the idea of brand
because he's so stoic and weird now that like i like the idea of him because he's so stoic and weird now. Yeah. I like the idea of him.
The one aspect that I do like is he's right.
It's a shit theory.
That it's, I like that he, like the Watchmen mentality,
that he creates an evil only for the purpose of uniting the kingdoms together.
Like that aspect of it I like, that he controls the White Walkers
only with the intent,
like in The Watchmen,
where you have this powerful evil
and it's the only thing
that'll make everyone work together.
That would just be a bad theory, though,
because it'd be like
the smartest man in the world is like,
I need to put this entire realm
through unimaginable death and destruction
so that afterward
we'll have a small
amount of peace and then they can get back to killing each other well like the bible he has
too much foresight for that more people died more people have died by human hands than by the white
walkers like so far you know what i would say this also i think that like i keep playing it in my head
like this and i know it won't be like that but like I just imagine did you guys watch lost yeah no I haven't it it's it was about the people on
the island blah blah blah but then season three starts and it's on the island but it's all
different people and they have like a society and it's really fucking weird and then the plane flies
by and they're like you're like oh, we're with the other people from there.
And you see that they're people.
We actually, like, there is a society to White Walkers because you have the whites that are these mindless zombies.
But I'm just saying that, like, what if next season starts and it's like a little White Walker boy running like, daddy, daddy, don't go.
And he's like, no, I'm off to fight the humans.
You know, they always with their damn warm blood and they're taking our land and all that.
I'm like, no, okay, Daddy, love you.
And you're like, oh, shit, they're humans too.
They're just ice humans.
And it's like, what if – I'm not saying it would be like that.
It's the cheesy 80s movie version.
If they waste one of our remaining six episodes
on some horse shit like that, I'll quit.
Well, think about it.
It just shows the Night King getting bullied in middle
school.
I'm showing why he can be so bad now.
It's a joke version of it.
If you think about
the best
villains, or the best
most timeless villains, granted granted the joker is
the only exception to the rule you have these villains where you're like oh you're not just
like a complete piece of shit and in fact now that you point it this way why are the humans so good
i mean daenerys is a fucking mad woman yeah she might flee that free
the slaves or she might burn you alive and like you know like everyone's except for john snow
encourages lying backstabbing betraying they kill each other they're like those humans we're team
humans so we're like yeah but like do you really deserve Westeros more than the White Walkers?
Are they really just mindless evil?
They have a communication in the books.
They speak like scratching ice.
And I'm not saying it will happen, but if they humanize the White Walkers at the beginning of the next season,
the whole dynamic of how we look at everything changes to an extent.
But there's a million times more humans than white
walkers like 13 white walkers total and there's like there's literally like i don't know 13 or
15 million that that guy was giving away his age and they would take the babies and put the knife
on them and they made white walkers like they did with the dragon with that ice blade that's true
but we've only seen a totally in that scene where he does the thumb thing in the back, there are a total of 13
adult White Walkers. I don't know
how did they raise those babies?
Are they drinking ice water milk or something?
Those are just the main ones.
Carly's point, Craster, that guy
from the first season who had that outpost
up there north of the wall, how many wives
did he have? Like 30?
He was putting a new baby out there
every three weeks. They were doing that for how many wives did he have like 30 like he was putting a new baby out there every you know three
weeks and so they were doing that for how many years like come on like he definitely was filling
their numbers up and who knows credit they're shitty at the jobs these are tv writers like
you said and i think what's going to happen is uh when the rest of the books finally come out
we're gonna and there's going to be some disparities there. I wonder what's going to happen
when Stannis finally gets to
Winterfell in the books. I think Stannis
might win. What are they going to do then?
Well, I think
what's going to happen is the TV show
is going to end. I think the last two books
are going to be like, they're going to say
George R. R. Martin on them, but I think they're going to be
adaptations of the TV show to an
extent. I don't think you're getting George's
books.
He's almost done with the next
book. He's released many chapters.
I believe it.
The timeline fits as well. He gets a book
every five to eight years. It's been like
seven or eight or something. We're going to get another book
next year, and we may never get
the final book. He's
hinted in the past that there needing to be an eighth
fucking book. You know that, right?
Christ.
Just write a longer seventh one.
Forget all that.
Do it like a TV show where, like,
hey, these are the playoff books.
Every page has something interesting.
But
let's talk about the final piece
to this finale episode,
and that is the meeting down south.
No, the both sexes, man.
What was the final piece?
Well, the final piece, I don't mean chronologically.
I mean, if I view this thing in three main things.
That first 20 minutes was the best of the season.
When they all met, when you finally got, like,
Daenerys, Jon Snow, and Cersei, I was like, oh my god.
And I loved the Hound walking right up to the mountain.
And the mountain like the first time acknowledges another human being as not just an order and steps up to him.
And he's like, you're fucking uglier than me.
I was like, it's so good.
And like, I don't know if I want them back to back smashing white walkers
together or if i want them to kill each other in a fire or like i mean i you know what's really
funny is a buddy of mine on this on facebook said this he was like wait after that episode
beyond the wall he's like wait they lost a dragon because why and my buddy commented he goes oh well
obviously because they wanted to go
and steal a zombie to bring it to the queen
who has a zombie bodyguard
to prove her that zombies are real.
And I was like, oh shit, it's true.
She has a zombie bodyguard
and they had to go steal a zombie
to be like, look, the undead lives.
I half expected her during that scene
when they brought that box out.
We know how cunty Cersei is.
I half expected her to be like,
mine's better.
Her zombie up and the mountain just cleaves it in two.
Like, that's part what I expected, but I'm glad that didn't happen.
You know what?
And then kills Jon Snow and Daenerys, too.
That's Game of Thrones.
Just one clean sweep.
You know, because it's this show, how crazy would it have been as they're waiting on Cersei to get there
if troops just start filing in and surrounding them all,
and they kill off three-quarters of our good guys?
I was waiting for it.
You never know.
Did you notice that Bronn takes Podrick off?
He's like, hey, let's go get a drink.
Do you know why Bronn takes Podrick off and goes to get a drink?
It's because him and the actress who plays Cersei used to date,
and now there's a clause in her contract that they can never be in the same scene together.
Wait, who? Bronn?
Bronn and Cersei. They used to date in RL.
Wow.
And so Cersei will not be on screen with him.
The last time that happened was when Tyrion is the Hand of the King
and Cersei has went in to talk to him,
and there's two gold cloaks outside the door.
Podrick goes to get Bronn.
It's a matter of life and death.
You've got to come now.
Get him out of the whorehouse when he's just about to eat some pussy.
And Bronn is telling those guys, like, you better let me in.
And he's, like, reaching for his back dagger to, like kill uh you know uh that one of the gold cloaks and then the door opens and cersei files
past i don't even think that's really cersei filing past i think they got a double because
they don't show her face she's just and like past him they're never on screen how much like how
that's crazy i had no idea about that that is pretty unprofessional it seems like
you're you're you're pretending to
be a queen and if you're very good at pretending to be the queen you won't even remember this
other surly fellow there there's an element of professionalism that can be said towards
stating your weakness and if you are like listen i actually like this was in my opinion an abusive
relationship and it's going to affect my ability to do my job, then that
is kind of a way of professionalism.
We're
just taking the surface of it and
dramatizing it and being like,
how unprofessional, what a bitch move.
But we don't know if
he hit her and
they never made a big deal of it.
She doesn't want to make
a stink of it and she wants to be separate. Even more she doesn't want to make a stink of it and just she wants to
be separate even more professional would be not to have a weakness you know it's like i don't know
everyone but like everyone has a weakness if you go on for a job and you're like say one of your
weaknesses and you say i have no weakness you failed that question of the job my weaknesses are actually my strengths i work too hard
too much
yeah well you know we're dealing with like he said like just said
being professional is not letting your personal life affect your job it's true yeah yeah to an
extent though and like when you're dealing with something like acting is you're
literally dealing with emotions so your ability to do your job let's say in i'm only going to use
like a crude analogy here if your job is to organize something and it just so happens the
stereo in the room that blasts the radio really loudly, prevents you from doing your job, you're not unprofessional if you're like,
this is causing a huge distraction.
Does it need to be here?
And if they're like, this needs to be here,
then get a new job. But if they're
like, you know what, this character's not even fucking
alive in the books, we promise you
he'll never be near you. If Cersei
was like, if her complaint was like, I
am tired of this extra walking around
with symbols banging them near me during scenes,
it'd be like, okay, well then we'll tell the symbol guy to settle down.
But what's the worst thing that can happen with Bronn?
Is it like, Cersei, honestly, we don't want you to come off as too cunty and unlikable as the character you play,
so we don't want that around.
We don't want you to come off as unpleasant.
If anything, it would play into her character.
But it is what it is, and we don't know to be she's supposed to be strong and cold and hardened and there's a person with
a direct emotional attachment she's like you're you're just making an obstacle for her for what
game for what because it's it's a tertiary character he doesn't even need to be in there
with her here's my question now that we know john snow's true lineage
yes who is actually the rightful owner of john snow john snow has a better claim he has the best
claim can you explain it to me because it was her father right and he only had her no only hers left left so she would be the only kid no her the mad king is john snow's father the mad king's son is
daenerys's father am i right about that
no john snow son of rhaegar Targaryen. Since she's the aunt,
she would be closer.
Maybe someone knows this better than me.
I think that when the Mad King dies,
then Rhaegar becomes the king.
So it was King Rhaegar who was
fighting at the Battle of the Trident, technically
speaking, and then when he dies, it goes
to his son, Jon Snow.
Or
Aegon Targaryen, as we know him now.
I think that's the deal.
Chiz says I'm right. I found a
really interesting thing about the incestuous nature of
their relationship, and it goes beyond nephew
and aunt because of all of the inbreeding
in the Targaryen lineage, which is documented
thanks to G.R.R. Martin.
And he
breaks it down going back 18 generations.
It's tracked in the books.
So you can do the math and there's an equation
where you add up just how incestuous it is.
And without boring you with that,
and I don't know it off the top of my head certainly,
the deal was that 50% incest would be brother and sister,
like Jamie and Cersei, or father and daughter.
That would be like 50% incest.
And because of all of the inbreeding in Jon and the Khaleesi's ancestry,
they're at like 46.5%.
So it's almost as bad as brother and sister.
They're so inbred at this point.
Yeah, I just try not to think about it.
It's all I'm talking about. That's what hooked me up. First episode, I was like, what? Brother fucking a sister? so inbred at this point yeah i just try not to think about it and it's really fucking hot that's
what hooked me up first episode i was like what brother fucking a sister i'm in for eight years
lots before that scene he they were like all right um kit your ass is going to be quite prominent
because uh well you know she doesn't want to show hers.
Somebody's got to be on top, and we're shooting it this way to conceal as much of her as we can.
Your ass is getting a lot of light.
Will you sit on my face, lady?
So, yeah, I was like, damn, that ass is... Oh, it's John's ass. Oh ass is oh it's john's ass oh okay well
that's a nice ass john i thought that's impressive he's been doing his squats
he's been working out he's probably on lunges yeah i don't know that john's on i don't think
john looks ped ripped i don't i really don't um short people sometimes have an easier time
getting that like wrestler's physique perhaps yeah i i you know
i wouldn't know anything about that i i'm all i'm i'm i uh what was what was gabe's uh workout
method it was elongate lengthen
uh gabe is the really tall guy from the office who comes in with saber he's like the saber
overwatch guy it's a joke if you with Saber. He's like the Saber Overwatch guy. It's
a joke if you've watched The Office 15 times
like I have. Never mind.
And then I guess the last thing
to mention is
Theon gets his
balls back a little bit. Figuratively
speaking. He
takes an awful beating.
Somehow
comes out of it on top.
They kind of show how he wins the fight, right?
Like, he gets that lucky headbutt in after surprising the guy by taking the crotch shots.
And then if you watch, his blood, because he's so beaten to a pulp,
goes right into the guy's eyes immediately.
And the guy's like, ah, I'm blind with blood.
And then he takes advantage of the guy's blindness and, you know, ground and pound.
He beats him with his three-fingered hand.
I think he's got more fingers in the show than he does in the books.
You can't tell because of the gloves that he wears.
But you can see some of the fingers in his gloves are, like, sticking straight out in a way that almost looks like you, like, blew up the corner of a doctor glove without all your fingers in there.
I noticed that.
I watched so many videos and
explanation stuff and they literally explain
how many fingers he's got in the show versus
how many in the books.
He's got a lot fewer fingers in the books
and a lot fewer toes as well.
It's rough time.
But I liked that.
If you look closely, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 20 good men that he's got to go get Yara.
I'm excited about that.
I wonder if he's going to the Iron Islands.
Perhaps that's where he is.
Or, which would be, this is even juicier, is he heading off to follow the whole, is Yara with Euron, with the whole fleet that's heading to go get the golden company of mercenaries
And if so this Theon end up in the mix of that over in Essos in the mix with the golden company
Representatives and Iron Bank representatives whoever that is and however that's mixed up
Do we get to see the elephants or elephants if that's what they call them in this as they do in the Lord of the Rings are the elephants enormous because we haven't
seen them in the show are they bigger than our elephants you know what I mean
like like I'm excited to see that they march out with some mumma kill those
giant fucking elephants like from Lord of the Rings where they got the big
house on the back oh oh I don't care about any inconsistencies I'd be fine
with it I also, the recent movie,
with the guy from...
I have not.
Sons of Anarchy.
Sons of Anarchy, yeah, yeah.
Anyway, there's elephants in the opening scene of that
that are perhaps the best elephants ever.
Are they real or are they CGI elephants?
They have to be CGI because they're 1,000 feet tall or something.
No, I'm exaggerating, but they're super...
They're a lot like the Lord of the Rings elephants, but better.
How awesome is Jorah Mormont?
Once he met back up with Daenerys, I was like, I think I clapped when he saw her again.
And he was like, I'm here to serve you again.
And I was like, yeah, my dude, I thought this guy was never going to make it this far.
And now he's
back, cured
from an incurable disease.
He just looks
so...
It's one character that I already
know.
He mutilated me in a dark room
in a cell.
It's me, Jorah Mormont.
Head of Friend Zone Island.
But isn't that like every nice guy meme on the internet?
He's doing all these wonderful things for her.
He's bending over backwards.
But in the end, he's not just being nice.
He's trying to get fucked.
Of course he is.
He's totally trying to get fucked.
He's very creepy in the books.
He hits on her.
He's proposing to her all the time.
And he's much uglier in the books. They him as very fair like much like his sigil completely bald
the guy that plays jorah i'm like shit give him a fucking oh he's supposed to be he's supposed to
be ugly yeah in the books he's quite unattractive he's he's big burly very hairy completely bald
on top and in the illustrations his face is unattractive as well.
But the guy that got play in him, it's like,
come on, give this guy a fucking chance.
He got all that shit scraped off.
I mean, it's not like a... He's going to be so upset when he finds out
John is plugging Daenerys.
He's like, oh, you mean to tell me
you've known her for three days now?
It's like, you're already fucking...
I haven't heard plugging very much, maybe ever like i can't figure out if that's like worse or better than
fucking like like where on the scale is it i don't know like a gross way to put it you know
yeah i read the uh the comics like they had like comics for the first book and like they're really
well drawn and stuff it was before the show existed and like the starks are just like really dark like hairy and like
intense supposed to be ugly horses yeah yeah exactly like a little boy and then the lannisters
are like really like beautiful like they look like almost like the elves and lord of the rings and
it's like it's just kind of cool when you look at the pictures. Everyone looks good because it's a comic.
They got that right with the Lannisters.
Brienne is fucking hideous.
She looks a little bit like the Joker.
She's got oversized eyes and a really big mouth and a couple scars on her face.
Brienne is – in the show, I'm like, come on, Jaime.
Hit that.
Come on.
If you Google Brienne of Tarth naked, you'll find her full frontal nude with you know completely shaved and everything you're you're already doing it
listeners out there and hey that's not too bad that's not too bad come on jamie especially
after spending like a year in that cage in your own shit right like masturbate because he doesn't
have a hand yeah oh he can go lefty you don't think you learn i've broken my arm before same
here i've burnt the shit out of his hand. You go lefty, bro.
And you get good at it after like a week.
You're like, ah, I might not go back.
Like, I got it.
This may just be the new me.
Double time if I need to.
You know, I'm getting a little tired over here.
Yeah.
I mean, but every show, every single show you watch,
they're uglier in the books and everything.
They kind of make everybody attractive.
Even Tyrion is a good-looking dwarf.
He's got no nose in the books, man.
It's a gaping hole there like a ghoul.
Yeah, the battle axe wound.
It's almost handsome,
like ruggedly handsome in the show,
and it's supposed to be brutal you know what I like? I like that part where
he's having that fireside chat with the Khaleesi
and she's like but you're not a hero
or some shit like that and he's like
I have been heroic
I led the forces through the mud gate
and she just cuts him off
and it's like let him fucking finish
he's got a tale to tell here
he led the forces through the mud gate
and won the Battle of
Blackwater Bay. He was
incredibly heroic. How many men
did he chop down? I've seen Tyrion kill at least
three or four men with his bare hands.
Tyrion might be more heroic than Dany.
He is absolutely heroic.
Individually, yeah. By definition,
bravery requires fear,
right? That's why Superman's not brave.
The bravest character in all of Game of Thrones has got to be Tyrion Lannister.
He stood up to the mountain and said, kill me.
It was the best.
I loved it.
He looked up to him and he goes, kill me now.
I thought that was so cool to have the tiniest guy.
The tiniest guy and the biggest guy.
There was no amount of fear that even Cersei had to respect it.
You know, if you read into about the whole Azor Ahai thing.
You know, that like they talk was promised.
Yeah, exactly.
So yeah, they say the prince or the princess who was promised.
Can you do a fast forward version for the listeners?
What's that, Azor Ahai?
I have it right here in front of me. azor ahai is a legendary figure uh the lord of light thousands of years ago he forged light bringer which which is a sword he used to defeat
the darkness of the great others um and so this is a a hero that they say the also the prince or prince that was promised he wields a sword of
fire called light bringer and he's a legendary hero and what's interesting about it is like
the first thought is that you're like oh that would be john snow like you know because he's
just that like he just is that main character or at least i see him like that and then it's like the prince
that was promised but then they say the prince or princess that was promised yeah and then it's like
okay that's that's interesting because it's like well then maybe it's daenerys and it's not quite
about you know the the prince that was promised and it could be like that she is the one, and apparently
a part of... It could be Cersei.
I think we're taking it too literally, to be honest.
Like, a song of ice and fire
is Jon. Jon
is the song of ice and fire,
because his father, you know, the musician who, like,
traveled around singing through the cities with a
beautiful voice, sang a song
between ice, his wife,
and fire himself, and made
Jon.
He is literally the song of Ice and Fire.
The Azoros high thing is really interesting, but even more interesting to me is what I
consider to be a fact at this point.
I believe that Tyrion Lannister is Tyrion Targaryen.
I believe that the Mad King is his father.
The Mad King visited Castley Rock.
He got a little physical with Tywin Lannister's wife.
It's well documented.
And I believe that Tyrion is...
All three of them are Targaryens.
Tyrion is the only person other than Jon and Daenerys that has touched a dragon and not died.
And that was when that dragon was right in front of his face.
He touched it and it didn't die.
I think those three dragons, one was for each of them.
And I wonder if we're going to get some sort of mega, brave, awesome scenario
with a Tyrion and this Viserion, this ice dragon, where it's his
and maybe there's an element of no fear.
And I don't know, can you turn someone back to an extent? this like ice dragon where it's like it's his and maybe there's like an element of no fear and
i don't know like can you turn someone back to an extent you know if anyone can convince anything
this guy is like it's like all of his points go into charm and charisma yeah maybe brand can turn
him back or wargim or something like that um i believe samuel tardy wrote the books like the
what we're seeing i i think that towards the end of Game of Thrones.
Like he's R2-D2.
I don't understand the reference, I guess.
R2-D2 is the only person that was there from the beginning of Star Wars until the end.
And he always documents everything that happens.
So they say that we're getting R2's perspective on the story.
So it's like we're getting Samuel's
documentation of this series I can't lay it out like one of those Game of Thrones analysis channels
can but apparently like like as you as you mentioned you know Samuel Tarly's kind of got
the knowledge he's got the whole thing and he's in the library and he's like not liking a book
title and they're like well what would you name it I don't know something more poetic like the
Song of Fire and Ice that Kyle just laid out.
I think that maybe
towards the very end, you know, the second
or very last episode, we'll see
Samuel Tarly put pen to paper
and, like, log Game of Thrones.
I hate that idea,
but the only thing that makes me, like,
like, like, like, think that maybe you're
onto something is the fact that Samuel
Tarly looks a lot,
a lot like a young Martin.
Right?
Like this big, fat, dark-haired, like, pussy.
Like, that's the only thing that makes me think
you're onto something.
The first girl who even pays attention to him,
he's like, of course I'll rescue you
and take you to Old Town and raise your son as my own.
And it's like, what?
What?
Like, you've met one girl in your whole life?
My goodness.
He hasn't had sex with her, has he?
Yeah.
Absolutely.
He has.
Yeah.
She hopped on.
She rode him and he went, oh my.
Oh my, Kitty.
This really erases the memory of those shit pots from earlier.
That's that privilege.
Don't touch my fingers.
There were a few
brothers of the Night Watch about to throw
a good old fashioned Westerosi raping
and Samuel
comes in and like, you know,
puts up his dukes and they just whip
the dog shit at him to the point where you wonder
if they're going to beat him to death.
And then Ghost comes in, runs them away,
and then she takes him in the back,
dabs his wounds with that wet cloth like they do
in the movies for some reason, and then hops on that dick.
Let's get that nice and wet and festering.
Yeah.
Get this cloth I wipe my ass with.
Yeah, use it for everything.
She's a mother, she probably licks it.
Bring me that old bowl of water that I shave in.
Yeah.
Well, I enjoyed Game of Thrones talk.
Did we do it justice?
Yeah, I think we did it justice.
I think they were requesting a little bit of Conor McGregor talk.
Didn't we do that?
I thought we did.
Maybe it was PKN, though.
You guys don't talk Star Wars?
No, we don't like Star Wars.
That is not true. I like Star Wars. What do you like, Star Wars? I don't talk Star Wars? No, we don't like Star Wars. That is not true.
I like Star Wars.
What do you like, Star Wars?
I don't like Star Wars.
I don't think it's a very good...
I don't think any of them are good at all.
I haven't seen any of the new movies.
I think they're all very good,
but they have the reputation as being
cinematic excellence, unparalleled.
And if you watch them enough,
it's like, these are just really good movies.
You know, good. First three are so boring, I can't even sit through them. paralleled and if you watch them enough it's like uh these are just really good movies you know
good first three are so boring that you can't i can't even sit through them and uh i mean i love
epic long-ass movies when i see a four-hour movie i'm like oh you ever see lonesome dub the mini
series that bitch is seven hours and 45 minutes or something i look forward to the like next year
when it's time to watch it again. I love it.
Long as possible.
They're so bad. They're such poor movies.
They're poorly acted.
They're way ahead of their time.
The effects are incredible.
It's great for the 70s.
But they're just shit now.
The fan
service in this last one was crap.
It was a prequel about some stuff that didn't even matter.
I don't like fan service.
Cash grab bullshit.
Can you believe it?
Like, amazing things happened in this show.
Everybody loved it.
It sucked.
Tell me a story that I'm going to be interested in, sucked into.
Don't just drag Darth Vader onto the screen.
Because I want to see it.
Don't just CGI up Carrie Fisher.
Because I want to see it.
The only fan service I want to see.
Is the Blues winning the god damn Stanley Cup.
For once.
To be fair about Rogue One.
You know what that is.
When you went into that movie.
Like that movie is extra. Like when I yeah like that movie's extra like when i was like
star wars you like star wars and if you're like i think star wars is shit i really like
wouldn't even break down rogue one with you because like rogue one is like you go in it and
you know exactly how that ends rogue one's the best star was made road spoiler on rogue one jump
ahead if you don't want it everybody dies everybody
dies and i thought they like dude that's why we love game of thrones nobody survives in rogue one
they just don't make it every character dies who uh who dies that's like big like i know han solo
right and then no no no no no han solo died in the movie before that Rogue One and Force Awakens,
they're two different things.
And in Rogue One, it's not about, like,
the characters were great, but they were single-serving.
They're not like any other Star Wars characters where they'll be around, so it's okay.
They're not going to be the biggest deal.
We're all about the moment of it.
It was the moment, the Death Star plans,
it was monumental, and it's almost like it was a prototype for these future movies that they would make.
But like, I get it.
That movie is fan service.
But I will tell you that there is an element of fan service that needs to be catered to when approaching things like Star Wars or Marvel or things that have a history.
Because if you don't fan service then you will get
fucked for that they were more concerned with with selling toys and action
figures and video games than they were with telling a good story that the whole
story of Rogue one goes I'm gonna I don't remember which Star Wars movie but
it but but it's it's it's a 30 it's a three second comment in one of the Star
Wars movies that they built an entire movie on where they're like
they they pass off the plans of the death star and they like plug them in so you see the hologram of
like the the the death star and everything they're like a lot of good men died to get this boom
actually in in return of the jedi is the second death star yeah and that's the one where they do
the handoff and they're like a lot of bothans died for these. That's the second Death Star.
That's not the one we got.
But regardless, we know that the Death Star plans make it.
So when you're watching the last 20 minutes of that movie, you're like waiting for point A to point B that you know will happen.
But this is where the fan service takes over.
happen but this is where the fan service takes over the section of darth vader the brutal brutally killing those people that's the new thing you get that's the extra thing you get that's the payoff
that's the like for us we knew where it went but for showing it to your son or daughter you can now
decide which ones lead before which ones like do you show rogue one and
go right into the old one or like what do you do like like it's just that there is so much fan
service in rogue one you can't compare it to like empire strikes back which you still don't like
gritty it compared to that brad Pitt tank movie, whatever that was called.
Fury.
Fury. And like Fury, all the main characters died.
And I didn't know all the main characters were going to die.
They get you wrapped. People become heroes.
And typically the heroes in movies don't die.
But they did in Rogue One.
We saw like two specks of blood. Do you know why rogue one isn't important to you kyle because
you don't care about star wars to begin with i want to i'll tell you if you loved the old ones
and even if you loved star wars so much that you forgave the prequels because they introduced you
to a world that was like the double like the double-sided lightsabers or like the universe
expanding with the council.
And even though they fucked up the movies, there was elements that George Lucas brought that were really excellent.
And if you cared about that, then you're like me and you're jerking off when Darth Vader is choking people and stabbing them.
And you're just happy that you're getting that.
So I understand.
I give it five more points on the scale
that you would never give it
because you don't give a fuck.
You're like, impress me more.
I'm not just buying into it.
I want to love Star Wars.
I love everything science fiction.
I've seen every episode of The X-Files,
every episode of every kind of Star Trek.
I mean, I can quote fucking episodes.
I know it all. I know all the characters
and the actors who play them.
I'm this close to going to
the events, you know what I mean?
I have the collector shit. I have
the entire Star Trek TNG Pez
dispenser collection, alright?
I eat out of Mr. Worf's face.
I've seen every Star Trek
movie. The Wrath of the Khan is the best
one that's ever been made. I'm into sci-fi nerdy-ass shit, and I've seen every Star Trek movie. The Wrath of the Khan is the best one that's ever been made.
I'm into sci-fi nerdy-ass shit.
And I've seen all the Star Wars movies multiple times.
I have suffered through them to try to make myself like it.
But I just can't.
There's so many holes in the plot.
There's so many missteps.
It's like they're trying to weave together this patchwork quilt and make it all make sense it reminds me of how lost
just went off the fucking rails because of the writer's strike yeah they retcon they definitely
retcon a bunch of things where they go back and things that were just uh some someone forgot
something that day on set has now spun off into a comic series that
perfectly explains why that was not there that way even though it was just like something that
was an accident but it's just it's like i watch star wars and i love the universe of it you know
like i love like if you're not into you're not into it like i love next generation next generation
i'm not like this or that is the best. What I love about Next Generation is sometimes it says something or poses a problem,
and I'm there not even paying attention for the rest of the episodes as I'm thinking in my head like that.
Star Trek episodes are always an allegory for our modern-day problems,
and they're based on the problems that are relevant during the period in which the shows are made.
You can go back to the original series, and there's so much race relations stuff.
There's an episode where there are these two opposing races on this planet,
and the only difference is they're split down the center, like vertically,
black on the left side, white on the right side, and the other race is the opposite.
They're black on the left side and white on the right side,
and they're diametrically opposed. They hate one another.
They're ready to destroy one another.
And Kirk shows them that their
differences are ridiculous and makes peace
between them. And of course, it's all race relations.
Look at the crew of the Enterprise.
How does he show them? I'm just
curious because I haven't seen it.
He sets the ship to self-destruct
and he's going to kill everybody on the ship.
Are you serious, Chiz?
He goes, you're not all the same. No, Chiz doesn't watch the show. He sets the ship to self-destruct and he's going to kill everybody on the ship. With a mirror? Are you serious, Chiz? He goes, you're not all the same.
No, Chiz doesn't watch the show.
He sets the ship to self-destruct and he's like,
make peace or we all die.
Make peace or we all die. And they make peace.
So a long-term solution.
Look at the crew. So this show's made in
the late 60s, 67, 68, 69.
We're in the height of the Cold War.
We're in the height of Jim Crow.
Martin Luther King, all that stuff, race relations
you've got Uhura as the communications officer
a black woman, Martin Luther King
told her your part is so important to black people
don't quit that show
I know you're not happy with the amount of air time you're getting
he told her this, you've got a Russian
driving the ship around, I think he's the tactical officer
in Chekhov
we're in the middle of the fucking Cold War, and they got a Russian shooting
the guns. You've got Mr. Sulu,
a Japanese-American.
We had them in internment camps. Literally,
Mr. Sulu was one of the guys,
George Takai was in an internment camp
as a child when he was seven years old.
Oh my. Big fan
of Takai. And
it just runs the gambit. And of course,
Mr. Sulu was also gay uh but but
you know it i love star trek and all the things all the allegories well mr not not openly gay but
mr sulu was gay in rl of course and he is you know george takai oh my that's a large cop i just like
that that would have been way more progressive than i ever imagined. If there was a gay captain or missile shooter,
whatever the hell he does.
The very first interracial kiss on television is Captain Kirk kissing Uhura.
Huh?
I actually knew that.
Yeah,
most people do.
But,
but what I'm getting at is like that show is,
it means so much to,
to in so many different ways.
It's,
it's,
it's,
I don't,
I don't get that from fucking
Star Wars and I want to and I'm not sold on the characters to me when I think of
if you were to ask me which show is like a bigger part of American culture I
would say Star Wars you know like when I think of the things that go down in
cinematic history and kind of live forever. Star Wars is a bigger deal.
Luke, I Am Your Father is more known and ingrained
than anything that's ever been quoted.
Con!
Yeah, I take Luke, I Am Your Father.
There's more hours of Star Trek, so it wins default.
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I have a PKA
AMA question.
People don't know, PKA has
a Patreon.
There'll be a link in the description.
And in that Patreon, there are levels where you can ask questions to us and influence the show.
And it's pretty cool.
Anyway, what are the coolest things, physical, edible, or sentimental, that you've been sent by a fan and why?
So, and I was like, I bet Harley's got some cool stuff, too, that's been sent to him along the way.
Mine, so I've been sent some cool stuff
uh someone sent me a knife that they a couple knives that they thought i'd like and i'm kind
of into knives as people who are more than me but i i get it was i liked it a lot but the one that's
burned into my head is a guy took a piece of steel it's like a quarter inch thick and he must have
used a laser cutter or a plasma cutter or something and he he carved out the Woody's Gamertag logo. It's like, it's square.
So it's like a foot, you know, from corner to corner.
And I bet it weighs like eight pounds.
And it's just kind of a hefty, neat thing.
I've got it hanging in the stable.
And I feel like I'll have it until I die, you know.
I wonder if it's the same guy.
I didn't get one quite as big,
but I do have a laser cut steel thing with Epic Mealtime logo.
And it says Epic Mealtime across, but it's a small, thin plaque.
I wonder if it's the same guy.
That'd be really interesting, which wouldn't be far off because if you got it around the time that we were all collab-o-ing,
like, you know, there's a possibility that there was some sharing there.
So who knows?
I mean, I get, I get like,
now I get like edibles sent to me and like,
like,
like bongs and stuff.
I did,
uh,
one of my,
one of my vlogs,
I like referenced marijuana,
a whole bunch in it and stuff.
And then I started getting like bongs and like,
uh,
like edibles and stuff like to, to office which i'm just like i can get
in shit for the oh yes well of course yeah i can get in shit for this stuff and uh i have uh also
um i told you this before i think it was not through mail but it was in person
a girl had like broken off all her fingernails and like she was like i have something to give
you and i put my hand out and she like this was like in a public place and she like just
put it in my hand and i like opened up my hand it was her nails i was like what the fuck
and her hand was right there she just like closed it back up
that's crazy i would have been i would have been down to fuck her, so I was all like, okay, I'll keep these nails.
Carly likes them crazy, too.
Carly, do you get severed heads and stuff?
Someone sent a cat head one time.
It's been maybe six years ago now.
Someone sent a fucking cat head, and I always tell the joke.
It's like, did this guy say, I'm going to send Kyle a cat head
and go murder a fucking cat?
Or did this guy stumble upon
a dead cat and say oh I know
what I could do with that Kyle would like
this
this
bizarre
I wanna do tinder talk I gotta piss
I wanna do tinder talk when we come back I wanna talk
I wanna see what Harley has to say about tinder
because recently Harley I
and Chiz introduced Taylor to Tinder.
He was not on,
he was not on Tinder.
He was not using it.
He saw it as,
as just a thing for women to get like,
uh,
um,
how do you put it?
Validation.
Validation from men.
He thought it was like this big,
silly game where women were just like picking and choosing and sitting on a
throne.
Now I think he realizes that it's the,
the pussy,
it's the pussy,
like, uh pussy slot machine
is what it is
and I want to know
what dating apps you use and what your experiences
are but I'm about to piss on myself
Harley are you
presently dating anyone?
yeah but I've had
time on the app
and I know my way around it
ah okay I stopped dating about 20 years before Tinder happened I've had time on the app, and I know my way around it. Ah, okay.
Yeah, no, I stopped dating about 20 years before Tinder.
I read the funny ones on Reddit.
That's my background on Tinder.
What are your big tips for if you have any?
Well, do you have your phone in front of you right now?
No, it's charging in the other room.
Oh, it's really far. That's unfortunate that we can't...
It's really, really far. It's really unfortunate
that we can't take out your pictures and I can give you a live
criticism right now and tell you what you...
Well, there's no way I'm showing my
fucking profile on here. There's no...
Oh, man. I... Why?
I wish... It must be more private
than I think. This is...
This is the first thing to understand.
Going on Tinder, I've realized, has this aspect where it's like,
oh, motherfucker's got to be desperate if he's trying to fuck a girl inside the telephone.
And it's like, listen, people are busy.
Like I said this, I say this to other YouTubers that I know,
and some of them are like, you know and they're female, and they're like, I will not get caught dead on Tinder.
And I'm like, relax, bitch.
You're acting like you can't be seen on Tinder.
God forbid someone screenshots you.
What are you doing?
You're just cutting out the bar.
If you go out, we're not embarrassed to get all dressed up and put gel in our hair and be like oh look at you you think you're gonna put gel in
your hair and go fuck some girl tonight you think you're a hot shot or something relax buddy like
like we we have no qualms getting dressed up and going out to do that but we do put tinder in this
box where it's like you you got to be fucking desperate.
Even when I see girls being like, oh, look at this DM that I got on Tinder.
And some dude's like, oh, damn, baby, why you got to go on Tinder?
You must have an easy time meeting guys.
And it's like, I don't have fucking time.
I just want to get on.
And you know what?
Do you like my face?
You don't.
Perfect.
I'm glad I didn't have to buy a drink to figure that out.
And like, you just go on, you figure it out and you connect.
And I was very fast.
If you match someone, the longer you wait to meet, the worse that meeting will be.
The more of an endeavor and pressure it will be. I used to meet, I used to match.
I would be like, do you want to go grab a taco right now and see if you hate me?
Because then we don't need to waste time.
And like the biggest thing you could do that waste time is match someone and not meet them.
So when you match someone, set aside 45 minutes.
Because truth be told, you're probably not going to fuck someone the first time anyways.
So get that one out.
Make it fast and be like, hey, I have X, Y, or Z in two and a half hours from now, meaning I have an hour now.
Do you want to get coffee and see if we hate each other and never have to waste time again?
Or maybe we could talk.
Then you could meet.
If it goes exceptionally well, you have a kiss at the end to let her know that you enjoyed it.
If she turns you away, handle the rejection like a pro, like a man.
See her again.
the rejection like a pro, like a man. See her again. That second time, you've raised the level up so much higher that you are in the realm of being allowed to make a move or get fresh because
it's not quite the first date. Getting fresh. Oh, that's a good name for a podcast. Getting fresh
with Harley. I would also say that if you look at your picture, since you don't want to bust them
out right now, what I would appreciate is if you read to us what your bio says.
No.
Let me jump in on this topic.
When I was buying a house, I said this.
I was like, hey, I don't even think we put a bid in on it yet.
But I'm like, we found a place.
It's not that far from me.
It's got some acreage.
I'm really excited about it.
But I'm like, we found a place.
It's not that far from me.
It's got some acreage.
I'm really excited about it.
That was what it took for people to, like, post the Zillow entry on the PKA subreddit and be like, I figured out where Woody's going to go.
And I had no idea that Taylor had any prayer of keeping his Tinder profile private.
Well, here, think about this.
Tinder is private.
The only way you can come across someone's Tinder profile is if you are within the range of them.
And they are actively swiping.
We learned that last week.
I can say I'm in California. You can go and swipe.
But, like, here.
Here you go, Taylor.
This is a perfect example. If you are too bashful or too shy to tell me what your bio says, then you don't stand behind your bio enough to confidently present it to a girl.
That's a really clever attempt to get me to read it, but it's not a fact that I'm not confident in the bio.
It's that I'm not reading it on the podcast.
That's not what it's for.
Also, it's your bio.
It doesn't say what are your sexual preferences.
It's your bio.
You don't know that.
By all accounts and purposes, all four of us are capable of creating a bio for you right now, and we don't need to know anything about you in your brain.
But if it was sexual preferences, I understand that's private.
But your bio is hardly private.
Like, hi, I'm Taylor.
I really like st louis blues
like is that really so outlandish to say right now in this scenario i only want to help you
it sounds we can only step your game like harley should be reading as his tinder profile
i'll tell you and harley perfectly pegs me as a very shy bashful person you know here's obvious here's exactly what my tinder profile used to say
i'm tall and i have a job that's exactly what it said those were two things that i noticed while
swiping were things that came up if you ain't got a car if you ain't got a job all that now i don't
agree with the tall thing and i think it's fucked up because if i was like
if you got a flat booty swipe left that would be fucked up but like the whole short tall thing
girls are apparently allowed to do it but it's okay you can't be sexist to men um but the whole
tall thing like i noticed that so i just said i'm tall and i have a job and what that was okay
is being concise.
The second you say, and I don't know if you do it, but let's just pretend,
hey, I like St. Louis Blues.
Wow, hockey freak.
You like hockey so much you have to mention it in your fucking Tinder profile.
I dated a hockey player once.
I want none of him.
The less you say, the better.
none of him the less you save the better so what you if i were you okay if i were you i would say uh i i i'm on a i'm on a successful podcast and that's literally it it's bragging a bit and it's
kind of mysterious maybe it opens them up but they'll be like oh he's charming he's a talker
he knows how to have a good conversation you could even say like i'm on a podcast i know how to have
a good conversation that's it you like talking that I'm on a podcast. I know how to have a good conversation.
That's it. You like talking. That's all there is. And if you say successful podcast, they won't question that you're living in your mom's basement, talking into an iPhone, calling it a podcast.
Make sure one of them is outside because otherwise it looks like you're a homebody
and you never want to go out. one of your pictures absolutely 100 smile with teeth
if you don't have a single smiling picture that's a problem if you do have a smiling picture but
none of them with teeth then you have no teeth that's what they will think that's literally how
it goes you have to show your teeth or you have no teeth that outside and teeth one that's excellent
no i disagree smiling is a sign of submission in
primates i never smile he has his whole other batch of rules taylor's a clever guy right i
believe taylor could come up with a tinder profile that would be memorable more memorable than the
ones you're coming up with right he could say something that would make a girl be like, I adore him. You think that's a bad strategy? I think that you will hurt yourself
more than you will help yourself. I believe in this introductory process, the girls will write
a lot. As a guy, if you write too much, it will bother them. Girls write with emojis a lot. If
you emoji with them back a lot they don't
like that they're not looking for a girlfriend they don't want to be like they they value mystery
why do you think tuxedo mask got all the sailors fucking wet because they didn't know who was
behind the mask and in the tuxedo sailor moon reference yeah i don't get it yeah i didn't get
that one so girls value resources and strength, right?
Guys value fertility and pretty,
and girls want resources and strength,
which is why it's so nice to be a guy,
because we die old and we get stronger,
and we gather more resources.
So we're born poor and we get rich,
whereas women are born rich and get poor.
Their fertility and their prettiness, it just fades.
Anyway, why not have a Tinder profile
that somehow accentuates your resources and your strength?
I guess that's what you did.
I'm processing this.
I'm tall and I have a job.
You basically said,
I have resources and strength in your Tinder profile.
It's concise.
It's got to be so concise.
The second – imagine if I said this.
I have a popular cooking show.
Well, now that means I have an ego.
I'm famous, and there's going to be other girls that are trying to fuck me too.
So like I've given three problems.
Now, girls aren't us we look we look at a girl and and and
she can she can have something and we're guys we'll be like damn that ass though like she could
be like i have uh i have uh uh seizures every 20 minutes and i violently swear out loud and uh
sometimes i'll randomly punch the person i'm with in the face. We would look at it and be like, damn, those tits are nice.
And I bet her punch isn't that hard.
I'm going to take a shot at it.
For every girl on Tinder, every time they swipe right, it's a match.
They match when they say heart.
They will match.
So because of that, the whole thing is entirely skewed to the point that you can say too much and damage yourself.
You're better off just being like if they like your face, they like your face.
Nothing you say will change their mind.
But if they like your face, they like your face.
Say one sentence and hopefully you didn't fuck it up.
That's interesting.
I like the uber concise thing.
To be fair, the fact that you're like 6'5 or something makes the tall thing easy. I'm 6 foot, and so I'm taller than most men.
Okay, so put 6'1.
But I already get irritated by all the 5'10, 5'11 liars who say they're 6 foot. I don't want to be that guy.
Who, these girls? Are these girls are these right there
i'm not one of those 5 10 5 11 liars six foot i've said that in a message to a girl right and
she laughed that's yeah that's the bio be like i'm six one and a real six one not like these
five eleven liars you need someone next to you with a tape measurement or like coming out of a convenience store, you know, with the thing or whatever.
Or hold a banana or put a banana next to you.
Here's a banana for size reference or like just like, you know, like something next to you like that.
But I like that angle personally.
That's interesting.
I like that.
Here's something fun.
Go grab your phone.
You won't say anything.
You won't show us anything.
But let's go speak.
Let's go respond to one of your messages
together right now.
You don't need to say anything.
Just need to say what was the last thing they said
and I'm going to set you up real nice with a solid fucking line you're going to end up marrying this chick and she's going to
discover this podcast and she'll love it she's going to play at the wedding that's it she's
going to use this evidence in the divorce proceedings
if you look you know what not not this time taylor what you do go go check out and this is great
because i get to plug my thing real quick youtube.com slash harley moore if you go look up my
tinder videos i have some with my friend amir and i fully respond on his account and change up some
things like for him he showed me what he wrote it said it like he matched this girl and he wrote peekaboo that was the opening
line i saw him like dog you need so much fucking help right now i'm like peekaboo that's what you
led with you're you look like you're trying to fucking kidnap her kids
like what's she supposed to say i see you like where's it going there's no response to that
what does she say sounds like if i took up a tinder match and they said peekaboo i would be like
they're here all right so master of none it's a netflix special that guy from parks and rec
azir is he's i'm sorry thank you um he's in it and they use t Tinder in the show His opening line, he uses it all season long
Is, hey I'm going to Whole Foods
You need anything?
You like?
It's good, but it's really specific
To a location
Okay
I don't want to offer to buy someone anything
No, but that's really specific
To Los Angeles
He lives in Los Angeles Isn't he in Los Angeles there? He is, but that's really specific to Los Angeles. He lives in Los Angeles.
Isn't he in Los Angeles there?
He is, but Whole Foods is nationwide.
No, but Whole Foods in LA has a really intense culture to it.
You go there, you can grab a fucking drink and an Amazon Echo and your groceries and people are chilling.
And it's like hot girls go there
it's like actually i i shop at whole foods more often now because after the first time i went
there i was like oh my god like this is a different group of women than i'm seeing at walmart dude
you have to swipe in whole foods you go, how interesting. You go there to swipe.
No, no, the high school.
Oh, here's another tip.
Here's one that, an actual Tinder tip that a fan sent me that panned out great.
So, you know how you can set the distance to it?
Okay.
If you, like, just want to skip through the bullshit and just find the people who have already matched you,
if you
set your range to one mile and then go back and keep that as your setting and then go to to the
tindering and it'll like say searching for people around you it'll show people that are way more
than a mile away but it'll only show people who have already swiped on you so if you're like oh
fuck like there's four more girls bang bang bang bang like they all matched with you already
and so there's a There's a pro tip.
That is interesting.
How low do you set the age on yours?
Bottom to top.
Same here. So 18 years old
and up. Bottom to top because
even some people have a glitch on their
Facebook and the age is messed up.
I'll tell you one thing. You want to hear an advanced
move? I'd love to hear it.
Now we're getting really advanced though. If you really want to get advanced, if you You want to hear an advanced move? Yeah. I'd love to hear it. Even I do. Okay, now we're getting really advanced, though.
If you really want to get advanced, if you really want to care about this stuff, you want to make moves, do you go to a gym?
I work out.
I don't go to a gym.
You what?
He works out at home.
I work out at home.
I don't go to a gym.
Oh, at home.
at home i don't know at home um do you go to uh do you go to a restaurant with cute waitresses or do you frequent a place often where you come across cute girls yeah the park like the park
okay go to instagram and search up places and then look at the pictures tagged in those places, especially like if you go to a gym,
girls that work at the gym tend to take selfies at the gym and tag the gym.
Girls that, or if you go to like a shoe store or something and you notice like there's a couple of cute employees,
you can look up that place on places on Instagram and find the employees.
They take pictures of
themselves and they geo tag the location now it could be considered stalking
except this is public and they geo tagged it to the extent that they want
it to be seen so it's not quite like harassing someone but if they put
themselves in a place and they tag the location, I think it's free game to then slide in the DM and be like, I noticed you go to my gym.
Or, hey, I saw you the other day.
I was getting shoes.
What's interesting is if you start to look up places and you look at their Instagram profiles, if you have friends in common, the cookies from that will pass on to your Facebook.
And they might pop up in your suggested friends in the Facebook realm at which point you could add them on Facebook and
be like oh I've been in your shoe store before Facebook recommended we be
friends how weird I guess this advanced Facebook algorithm says we're perfect
for each other that's very very you know you won me over I was thinking it was
really creepy but then you said they're geo targeting it
They're doing it so you're just using the information available to you, so that's not crazy
Yeah, okay. I'm sold on that. I'm gonna do that. I'll make an Instagram
Facebook to now though shit
Okay, I'll make another Facebook if you take a girl any girl you go to see on inst on tinder
if you set up the date through tinder within the app you pay i mean i you mean like i pay for the
whole thing yeah wherever you go whatever you do you i mean i always do that okay like i feel more
comfortable paying i'm not but i'm not one of those guys who like if she says no no i'll pay for my half i'm not gonna be like oh i insist it's gonna be
like all right like i'm not gonna let you call my bluff and then expect me to go no no no i do it
again it's like no this isn't a i insist no no no me like no if you say you're gonna pay for half of
it you got the one shot and i'm gonna respect your decision you're paying for your life. Yo, first, you got that. Okay. I'll be like, let me get this.
And then she goes, no, I insist.
I will say, no, absolutely not.
And then if she insists again, two insist.
First insist is a test.
The second insist is the real one.
I don't want to be fucked with.
You're trying to be fucked with.
You downloaded this app with the sole intent of literally being fucked with, fucked on, fucked all up and down.
You will commit to the fuckery, okay?
You will be fucked with, and if all goes according to plan, you will get fucked.
That's true. You did sign up to get fucked with and to fuck.
All right, I'll add an additional no to my repertoire.
I'll now take two no's and then the third you do it.
Okay.
Exactly.
Solid tip.
Solid tip.
Exactly.
These are great lessons.
I'm just saying this.
The girl that takes it, maybe that's not the one who you want to be or have a partnering with or whatever down the line.
But the girl that
pays for her own coffee
isn't going to suck your dick.
Maybe.
No.
I mean, that's just kind of a giant sweeping thing.
It is, and let's just
pray for the best
and expect the worst.
We're going to lean on the side that she's not going to suck your dick if she had to buy you the coffee.
Oh, well, she's not buying me the coffee.
If we operate on that, it's just a safe way to roll.
Just to say.
And I'm not saying everyone would be like that.
But I'm just saying, like, if she bought her own coffee, it might be harder for me to get, like, a handjob or whatever you want.
I mean, that's definitely
fair. And I would
do the same thing with coffee.
I'd say, I'll take care of this. And then if they say,
no, I got my coffee. I say,
okay. But
now I know I'm supposed to take another
no, like a fucking car
salesman.
She insists again. Be like, fine,
you can pay for your coffee but you're still gonna lick
my butt right this is so so escalate quickly right should i do that while i'm still in line
i'm kidding about that part oh also i've done this this is very stalkery
i see someone on tinder and it doesn't go well no No match. So sometimes they have their Instagram tagged.
Send them a DM on Instagram being like,
so weird, I swiped you right on Tinder
and we didn't match.
I think it's a malfunction in the algorithm or something.
Some sort of glitch.
Actually, I think there's a malfunction in your algorithm.
You are stalking the fuck out of me right now.
I am reporting you to Tinder.
Like, no.
Okay, Kyle.
Hey, once again, she put her Instagram there because she's using it to see – to get people to go look at her Instagram.
If you slide in there and like – it's true.
Maybe you do have more followers than her.
Maybe she cherishes that.
You slide in and you say something like, like oh i swiped you right but we
didn't match which is weird because i mean i don't think you would swipe left on a handsome guy like
me blah blah blah i'm so funny she'll be like oh this guy is kind of cute now that i'm looking at
50 pictures of him instead of the three ugly ones he chose this is a chance it's just a second chance
if we framed getting instagram followers as a way to help tay Taylor get laid I'm pretty sure he'd be like
25,000 after one episode
oh my god this is a good idea
I need to start okay I'm gonna make
an Instagram next week I'll come back
and give it out guys people listening if you follow
him and you get him into the
10k plus his
efforts at getting a girl on Tinder
goes up way more and it
will lead to much more interesting podcasts in the future.
And he'll be happy to share his bio with us and stuff.
So go look at his Instagram that he's going to make.
Taylor's going to upload his first video in like a year.
Follow me on Instagram.
That's all that it'll be.
I haven't made a video in so long.
Yeah, that's the move that Dan Bilzerian does.
His Instagram is fucking off the chain of course
he's got well over a million probably well over two or three million now and he he's sitting next
to me on the couch like show me his instagram it's it's otherworldly it's it's it's not next
level it's it's an incomprehensible level of just pussy and tits being piped into him constantly and he's just like not too big too small too big like
talk about picking and choosing it's just like ah that one's an eight get out of here asian no way
not today asians are on wednesdays business opportunity like these girls get famous just
by being next to him i have a pair of friendase who's a photographer and a decent part of his business
is just helping girls look extremely hot for their Instagram. And, and, you know,
often there's lots of nudes or semi nudes or something like that. And, and he just, you know,
he frames it and edits it and puts it up for him. And it's a piece of how he makes his living
because the, and it must, it tells me like, damn, well, there must be a living on the and like it must it tells me like damn well there must be a living on
the other side of it too you know the girls who are getting their pictures taken something is
happening for them because of their instagram they're not hiring them for nothing i'm gonna
really internalize all of your your tips harley except for the the last one sending dms on
instagram that does feel a little creepy
like if if they're not into you you know that that one that one's a little creepy yeah but
like so what happens is then they just don't respond to you for an answer yeah they just
won't say anything this ties into his it takes more than one no philosophy though right like
you get a no on tinder it's like you know what at least get a no on instagram don't just stop there if one loss turns you into a loser then that's what you are
ah there's enough yeses on tinder already you don't need to go fucking sleuthing about
i'm just fucking i don't know anything well do you have bumble no i don't is that should i get it
yeah bumble is the same thing except if you match the girl has to message you first
hey we've talked about bumble bumble's more relationship based often no no they're all Bumble's the same thing, except if you match, the girl has to message you first.
We've talked about Bumble.
Bumble's more relationship-based often.
No, no, they're all the same.
They're all maybe you fuck, maybe you get a relationship.
They're all like it's all up in the air.
That's the dice roll. I went and I met girls, and I was like, oh, let's go meet.
And then we'd go and we'd meet, and after like 15 minutes, I'd be like, this isn't really a thing.
And they're like, no.
But I hung out with those girls after and we were friends after and there was like no sexual
connotation to it or anything it was just like that and that was on tinder tinder wasn't like
an automatic fuck thing just like bumble isn't an automatic plenty of fish listen if you want
a guaranteed fuck then you download grinder That's the gay one.
And it is guaranteed.
Well, it's the gay one, technically.
Or you could say that you're only looking for trans women,
and then maybe debatably it's not gay.
Okay.
Do you use plenty of fish?
Would they be on Grindr?
Tell me more about their jawline.
Strong as fuck!
Looks like a college wrestler from Ohio.
That kind of jawline.
Built like a brick shithouse.
No, do you use plenty of fish?
My dad is 62 or 63.
I think 63 maybe now.
Maybe in April.
And he and my mom got a divorce
maybe a year or two ago or something like that.
And he – I was – my cousin has always been on POF for like forever.
And I guess that it spilled over to my dad.
And I'm sitting there with him one day and he's like –
Who's your cousin?
Scott.
You met Scotty.
Gator.
Yeah, that's right.
Gator.
Gator.
Gator.
Gator.
He never been a foul player. No's right like i met gator so to say gator adds so much more context to this yeah yeah gator's bitches
better be wearing jimmies so my dad's sitting there he's like this right here's the greatest
invention mankind's ever come up with you'd be surprised how many women are looking for an old
man he's he's i and like like he came over the other night, and I cooked dinner,
and I see him over there on his phone,
and I'm like, are you fishing?
He's like, oh, yeah.
He's got five or six middle-aged women on there
at any given time.
He's traveling 100 miles in any given direction
to go meet up with these women or vice versa.
They're traveling sometimes 100 miles to come see him because he's you know rural yeah like they'll come down from
north carolina they'll come out from atlanta and stuff and vice versa it's it's like i find that
hardly any of it on tinder at least is like the actual tinder app almost all of it gets done
in the texting once you got their number from the little chat. As soon as you match.
As quickly as possible.
I forgot to tell you, as soon as you match, you got to be like, oh, wow.
Like, I don't use this app a lot at all.
I'm going to delete it.
We should swap numbers.
Here's my number.
Send me a message.
Because then it's like I'm not living on Tinder and I don't stay on Tinder all the time.
I hate this app.
And then you can get off and it encourages her to get off the app as well and then she won't be spying on you as much
as i guess if you're you know still popping around there or whatnot but getting getting off the app
it's important uh i could tell you another really crazy move go i'm loving it keep keep them coming. Okay. Where do you live? St. Louis.
St. Louis.
What you do is you find, you change your Tinder to swipe in Canada.
Okay.
You could swipe Montreal, for example.
Swipe in Canada, and first of all, you'll see how beautiful Montreal girls are.
We have very beautiful girls here. You'll see that firsthand.
I don't know if I gave you guys the history lesson of it.
You did, actually.
So you swipe there and
match a girl
and
bring her down for the weekend.
It's getting
expensive, buddy.
Like pay for a plane ticket for some random bitch
who's paying Canada.
I don't want to be telling tales.
There are too many women.
There are millions of women in St. Louis that I can fuck.
I'm saying,
I hope you have an aeroplane set up
and you've been collecting points.
Fly that pussy in on points
and lock it down.
Well, that bitch is flying southwest.
It's fun when she's around the corner.
It's fun when she's around the corner.
But, like, if you're looking at, like, eights or eight and a halves,
if you're putting, like, this trip into it,
it's almost like a little long weekend vacation.
I mean, you might be able to hit a nine and a half, ten,
because she's getting a trip out of it, too.
Oh, I got the trick. Forget
I believe you about the women in Montreal. Don't get me wrong.
Right now,
you need to strike while the motherfucking iron is hot.
Put that shit on Miami.
I knew you were going to say that.
Put that shit on Miami.
Be like, get away from the storm
and come see a storm lord.
And like sing dressed as Robert Baratheon
Who's the storm lord and fucking kill it fucking kill it all day? Those flights are capped off at $99 from JetBlue
That's probably like 30 points. Oh, this is actually a good idea
Okay, all right, I'm gonna set my location at a refugee center just outside of Miami, right? And then I'm going to swipe there.
I'll let him shower first.
I have a girlfriend.
I have to say, my door's open and she's been hearing me yell about Tinder this entire time and all these strategies.
I need to say, I'm not on it.
I'm not on Tinder.
This was once upon a time.
This is something that has happened before.
This is Andy.
This is my girlfriend no we
we swipe right and left together actually there's a picture yeah yeah it's just swipe right you get
both of us exactly i've seen those accounts and it's annoying when it's like uh the chick on there
and then you get like five pictures in and then it's her and some dude and you scroll down to the bio that you didn't read
because you saw on the top level that she likes ice cream
and is an adventurer just like fucking
every other chick in there and
you scroll to the bottom and it's like looking for someone else
with my you know to have fun with my
boyfriend with he's bi
and it's like ah
are you really duping people with this
like are people showing up and then there's just
fucking Ian in the corner?
And he's like, well, I'm already drove out here.
Like, no.
How is that going to work?
Like, just make it up front.
Ah.
Yeah, I don't like that.
And I do, like, did you notice that you smirked when I said the adventurous thing, Harley?
Yeah.
Have you noticed every single thing, Harley? Yeah.
Have you noticed every single girl is adventurous on those apps? I think it's because they want an adventurous guy,
and so they think that the prospect of adventure is as endearing to us as it is to them.
Adventurous?
No, adventurous is a way of saying,
I don't want to suck your dick on your couch.
Adventurous means I'm not going to a movie.
You're not coming to watch a movie here.
I'm not going to watch one there.
Adventurous means get the fuck up and get the fuck out.
It means like no Netflix and chill.
If a girl says like, I like staying in and watching a movie,
every guy's like, I got a lot of movies for you at my house, baby.
Netflix, ever heard of it?
Non-stop movies.
I got Lord of the Rings Extended Edition.
Yeah, you're in for 12 hours of fun.
She keeps trying to put her hand in your lap.
She's trying to put her hand in your lap.
You're like, you're going to miss it.
These are the Leaves of Lothlorien.
This is important.
This is extended shit
right here. Come on. Stop.
You're probably going to see the scene where Saruman
falls off of the Tower of Orthanc.
Shut up. Get your head out of my pants. Get out.
You know what? I don't need you for this.
You know, I'm just like...
You're the one
that wants the man of Rohan.
It's all this to say, those are
some very interesting tips and some very good ones.
I'll reevaluate.
Think about that. But it's
as a whole, like, I have
Tinder in my mind now. Like I
said, I was the biggest hypocrite. I'm like, ah, this is a way for
fucking women to get validation. And then immediately
when I got it, I'm sitting there like getting
validation and I'm like, yeah, right.
As if.
But you know what? I didn't know how it worked that well and so i just like swiped right until it said you're out of swipes i'm like
all right let's see what reels in and then like as more of them come in you're like no no no yes
yes no or whatever and then uh someone told me on the pka reddit that it rewards you for
for declining more often to show that
you're not like, or that you're like
I don't know. It's because spam bots
spam bots auto
accept everyone. Then yeah
that's probably it. If you're, if you
decline someone who has a high rate of getting
declined, then you're likely a human
with the ability to differentiate and so
they benefit you for that because
they don't think you're a
bot. I mean, you could also try and get onto
Raya. Are you aware?
It's
the number
one rule is you don't talk
about it. And it's
Tinder
for the
rich, famous, for the uh for the rich famous beautiful and exclusively selected and i say this because i
have no idea i have no idea what gets you on or not but like like you apply to it and all of the girls are uh are curated manually by people that have selected
like the best of the best or famous people um i'm not allowed to actually say who i see on it
but uh i did see literally famous girls from movies of like the past year and
you could swipe and if you screenshot on the app it says right away it says like
one more screenshot and you're kicked off the app and get one freebie yeah you
get one accident and that is one that you should r-a-y-a and uh try and download it and uh and i mean if that
one works it's like dude she's she's flying you on points i mean that would be like she's sending
you on a trip wow yeah but what is what does a woman look like a gold digger here who is who is
sending me on a trip it It's going to be some like
maybe a 72 year old in Montreal
who owns a few booties.
She's not on Raya.
No, but she would be because Carly just said
that it's for super rich famous people
and so if she was...
It would be like you're talking about someone from
the Golden Girls and at that point get on the
plane and lick that pussy.
If Betty White asked,
I wouldn't do it.
That's a story for the rest
of your life.
Hooking up with Betty White?
I'd fuck Betty White.
Yeah, I would too. Or the rest of hers, which is like
six months.
Nah, she'll keep going.
Yeah, surely.
Man, that's really interesting. interesting raya it's almost like uh
almost seems conspiratorial the way you described it like oh does it really exist
no one knows like yeah that's interesting and you've had uh you've had good luck with that one
um it's the the people that i matched have like very prestigious jobs i am obviously not on it anymore but what you can
do is you could change it also in this app to collabos like i mean not to collabos to like
willing to work together rather than like have the heart it's like a check mark so it's like a
business type thing too and what's really useful is everyone on rea in st louis when you look at the map of it on rea
it has a burn map of where are the most people that have rea tonight which location and it has
either blue if it's bumping and pink if it's really bumping so when you go on in like if you
were like on in la for example or new y, like, in L.A., for example,
or New York, you would literally see where are the clubs
that the richest, most famous people are at frequenting
because the app tells you from the geotag where they are.
So you can kind of usefully see, like,
what are the new up-and-coming spots before they become mainstream.
You know what I mean? Because you see the upper echelon of like what is basically it's all douchey the whole thing is
very like it's got a douchey vibe to it i'm sure it's not intentional but you know like
to sit here and be like the exclusive app it has a douchiness to it you know but but like i'm just
saying i sound like a douche saying mainstream. People, if you're just listening, I'm doing finger quotes and shit while I talk.
This is something that you could see the spots, the new spots.
You know what I mean?
But people that I saw on it were people from TV shows and people from movies.
Yeah, but this sounds like something that I have no chance of being accepted to.
I'm not famous.
I'm not a millionaire.
It's all it takes is, like, for example, I got onto it.
On the internet, you can be both of those things.
Oh, I can lie.
You're right.
As far as fucking you know, yes.
My friend has 5 million Instagram followers, which is basically like 10 times more than me.
And she's like a model and stuff.
And she didn't get accepted.
And like I did, I assume at the end of the day, someone might just like the cut of your jib and accept you.
So you just should take the shot.
Because by all intents and purposes, she is like 10 times more famous than me.
But maybe someone just liked the cut of my jib or they were like oh it's that baking guy or something you know like you never
know you never know play up the machu lapid like you may have seen me in inglorious bastards
i was hiding jews under the floorboard in the first scene uh myself and christoph waltz had
a lot of chemistry i'm sure you picked up up on it. Yeah, I'll do that.
I'll lie about who I am and see what happens.
That's funny.
I watched The Glorious Bastards last night because your profile picture
got me thinking about it.
That movie is shit.
Let me rephrase that.
The whole Shoshanna part of that movie
is fucking dog shit it should
the girl every bit of the theater yeah the the whole part of the with the with the jewish french
girl or maybe they were in poland whoever like all of her scenes are worthless it's it's a movie
called inglorious bastards not shoshana's revenge quentin tarantino is so obsessed with film and
filmography and and like the nitty-gritty film stuff that he he devotes two-thirds of this movie called inglorious
bastards to like background information about film stock and how it's flammable and all of this uh
all this stuff about german directors and jewish directors from the from the 40s and all of this
film stuff and then he even makes a like a faux film within the film like like he's
so obsessed with that crap that he can't get beyond it the cool shit is michael fassbender
the british guy coming in doing the german accent the it's it's hugo stiglitz the uh the the the
nazi who's a turncoat um it's uh it's donnie donowitz the fucking baird you how much better
would that movie have been if you got
double as much of them?
Don't kill Michael Fassbender off
in his second scene, which is literally what they
do. And also, use Mike Myers a
little bit more. They had so much talent.
And I watched it last night, and I was like,
no, I'm not going to do this again. I don't have to.
I've got a fast-forward button. And I literally fast-forward
through every one of her scenes after
the first scene with Mishul Dapadit in the farmhouse and everything and i loved it so much
more it cuts it down to like i don't know 80 minutes and uh but it's called inglorious bastards
every time lieutenant aldo rain is on screen talking about and i want my scalps you're like
fuck yeah you do how didn't you want to see them get a few scalps? Wouldn't you have loved to have seen them setting up ambushes and maybe getting in a little trouble?
And then Hugo Stiglitz comes in with that MG-42 and fucking mows down a bunch of Nazis.
That's what the movie was supposed to be.
We only saw the Bear G. The Bear G kills one guy with the bat.
To see the trailer, he was going to be going yad left and right.
No, no.
You get Shoshanna hanging out in a French
restaurant waiting on the creme.
You get her and her lover
plotting her revenge story.
You get that
guy who was like the German hero.
Yeah, you get all of his
scenes, which are lame.
The fact that you're talking about it now is bringing
it back up to me. That whole sniper
and Shoshanna thing is so fucking boring and so useless because there's no actual development
between either of them it's just he goes from wanting to fuck her to wanting to fuck her and
she goes from not being interested to really not being interested and then she shoots him
eventually like that you're right that should have been a movie about a bunch of
ambushes on nazis and there should have been a lot more bat deaths where it wasn't like an
honorable uh wow look how tough and disciplined this nazi is as he sits there stoically on like
like that nazi died with class and that was the only guy you got to see getting beat to death
with a bat like there should have been ones where people like the nazis were screaming and he was
chasing him down like and he throws his pistol
down because he'd rather use the bat.
And he keeps... That's what I wanted to see.
More intensity. That movie was marketed
that way. It was marketed as this
alternate history where
this ragtag team of Jewish
guys go in, guerrilla warfare
style, and get the revenge that we
all wish they could have gotten on the fucking Third
Reich. Hitler kills himself like a coward
and cyanide and all that stuff
and dies somewhat painlessly.
It's not much of an end for this
torturous mass murder.
So many of his movies are revenge porn,
Quentin Tarantino's, where it's like,
oh, this is about revenge on the Nazis,
or oh, this is revenge on slave owners.
The more you think about it, it's like, huh.
That's a big theme for him, I've noticed harley i was gonna say at the uh at the end of that movie i i
very specifically remember he does the swastika on the forehead and then he says now this is my
masterpiece and i always felt that was quentin tarantino specifically saying that to the audience
that he really cherished this movie a lot.
And I feel like it's
for him.
It's not for us in a way. It was kind of like
it's his own shit.
This is my masterpiece. I thought it was
his thing. Yeah, I agree with you
100%. There's just so much...
Quentin Tarantino loves two things in this world.
Women's feet and film.
And the worst parts of the movie
are all about that.
If you
watch enough of his movies, there's plenty of women's
feet close-up. Even in Inglourious Bastards,
there's the scene where Hans
Landa, the Jew hunter, takes
Miss Van Hammersmarck in
private to that office, and he's like,
put your foot in my lap. And she's like,
you're embarrassing me.
And she puts her foot in the lap, and he slowly, with his close in my lap and she's like you're embarrassing me and she puts
her foot in the lap and he slowly like with his close-up unbuckles the shoe and takes it off
and puts the other slipper on to prove that she's the conspirator and it's like yeah you managed to
get a woman's foot close up in every one of your movies if i was a female actor in your movie i'd
be like i know close-toed shoes yeah i i know people that, that like have actually like been with him or know him personally and have
said that like, that's just like a real thing. He loves like the, uh, foot thing. And it's funny
that you said like to any female actress, she's got to be prepared for that. I saw this picture.
It was like a meme and it was like, uh, it was like, uh, a kid like looking, I forget which one
it was, but he was like looking at a book and he was so happy and it was glowing on his face.
And it says, when white people get a Quentin Tarantino script that has their character saying the N-word a lot.
It's like, apparently Leonardo DiCaprio had such a hard time saying it around Sam Jackson. Yeah. That Sam Jackson consistently berated him daily and,
and enticed him to,
to say it,
to like be comfortable saying it.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I've,
I've heard that as well.
And I can understand it.
Like it's just flowing the whole time.
It's a,
it's about as rough as it gets.
I love Tarantino,
but,
but,
but I always thought Inglourious
Bastards was going to be... When I went into the theaters
with my dad and watched that shit, I was like,
this is going to be Saving Private Ryan
meets Pulp Fiction.
This is literally going to be the greatest thing there's ever been.
Because I love those two movies.
Those are two of my favorite movies of all time.
And I thought this was going to be them coming together.
And it just, you know, I fell short of that.
That's a big... That's really ambitious though i didn't even i thought it was going to be great but that's like that movie sounds fucked yeah yep you guys want to call it a show yeah
that's a show though oh i want to do one more ama can we yeah yes all right here's the one i got
picked up what are social issues
or ways of looking at life that you thought
were right about then, but with age
changed your mind? You throw some out there.
Parenthood, religion, marriage, drugs, politics,
etc.
I was thinking about it. I was like, I don't really have one.
But then, when I was in high school,
I thought everyone that smoked pot
was
like their life was over and they hopelessly had no future.
That was my impression.
Yeah.
I had that too.
All through elementary school and halfway through high school, it was like if you smoke weed, you're a loser.
And then like you realize or I realized like, oh, a lot of people smoke weed. What I wasn't prepared for is that as an
adult now, I can't believe how many successful people do cocaine. Like I can't believe how many
successful people I've seen myself around that blatantly do this extremely expensive and powerful
drug. And I've always been like, is like that's hardcore that's the thing
but like I guess like you know living in LA living in Hollywood like I'd be around like I've been
around other YouTube creators and I've seen them like carry like a vial with them or a bag with
them like you know like even like innocent girl channels or not just the party guys I've hung out
with and it's amazing i'm just like
i'd go back and like meet with the other guys on emt and i'm like i can't believe that person's a
coke head like you wouldn't like i never expected that like the weed was one thing but i got past it
but like then i was just like oh my god i can't believe how many people like do cocaine which is
you know the ultimate ultimate, ultimate.
I always thought like you touch that drug, you could die instantly.
You know what I mean?
As a kid, I thought it was only a little behind heroin.
That's the way I remember it being explained to me is like heroin is the the grand poobah of evil.
And then cocaine will get you to is.
Yeah.
Well, I recall it for me.
Like heroin, I think, is still the grand poobah of evil i don't
know but okay no heroin beats it no but here's why i disagree because like when you get anesthetic
um like when you get morphine that's that's heroin like i've had i've had that we've any
like when they uh um you know when i burnt my hand it was like the second and third degree they
had to scrub all the skin off and they gave me morphine so it was the equivalent of like doing a fucking you know how those you know those meth
ads where it's like meth not even not even once right because you do it and then like the not
even once the next picture is like a cracked out person yeah the heroin one would be like heroin
not even once and the other picture is a dead body like heroin's like you play for keeps like heroin is
like russian roulette with a syringe like heroin is it's the only like that's the only drug that
i know of a person directly to me who has died directly from a drug died from a heroin overdose
and that like i've always just since then been like not only did like i find it so crazy of a drug already but like i know someone that died
and like let's be honest you have to use a needle like you're using a needle like you're like on
such a like like it's like you you're at that point where like you're you're at the end this
is the final boss this is you can snort it wanted to be the drug game this is the final boss the
needles you can snort heroin as well i know that's like like i was already laying today If you want it to be the drug game, this is the final boss, the needles.
You can snort heroin as well.
I know that's like I was watching Artie Lang today.
Poor Artie Lang's on there.
He's definitely back on something.
He was on Anthony Cumia's show with Voss, and Voss is like, look at this guy over here.
Because he's constantly wiping his nose.
Like Artie's wiping his nose.
It's running.
And then he'll like zone out a little bit. And he's like laughing. Like he's constantly wiping his nose. Like, already he's wiping his nose. It's running. And then he'll, like, zone out a little bit.
And he's, like, laughing.
Like, he's being weird.
And I think he even admits it.
He's like, yeah, I'm fucking high.
I'm fucking high again.
And it's just like, oh, shit.
This is why you got fired from the Stern Show, man.
You were falling asleep in the studio and showing up late and then making up lies about it and shit.
It's rough. Back to the AMA.
Like, my change on drugs like when i was a kid both uh cocaine and marijuana were like just you know
awful can't touch them whatever and now both of them have kind of dropped the point where marijuana
like i don't even think much of it like if someone does pot it's like telling me they enjoy a beer
after dinner or something like it's not my cup of tea but that's where it ranks to me on that's where i am
i'm on that level of the scale it's like a beer abortion oh i thought you were done oh and then
i was gonna say cocaine was you know like harley did it really great you know the next block is
death and now i'm like oh yeah cocaine's it's not something to be
fucked with but it's somehow they made us think that in no time at all your nostrils would connect
and you're you know get burnt out and like terrible things anyway that so drugs uh and
specifically pot i used to think that it was a terrible awful thing and now i think it's
like alcohol or less to me it's
abortion that one changed uh my opinion on that changed because you know i was raised very
religious not very religious but you know definitely like a baptist sort of church of god
sort of background and it was like oh yeah i can't think of a reason why why anyone would murder a
baby and then and then you know you become an adult and, you know, you need an abortion. And it's like, ah, I can think of a reason to murder a baby now.
I can think of a whole bunch of them.
And it's like, yeah, you know, you change your mind when you become an adult and these things actually matter to you.
It's really easy to stand in your glass house over there and being like, no, I want to disallow you from doing a thing that has nothing to do with me and that I'll never need ever and I have no interest in. Like, it's easy to take that right away from someone when it,
you know, you don't value that right. But it's kind of like speech. Like,
all free speech should be protected, including hate speech, unless you're inciting violence.
Like, hate speech is free speech. And in the same regard, like, regardless of how you feel
about abortion or flag burning or anything that's like that, that's this weird hot button issue that's kind of 50-50 down the middle, it's like, no, that's,
that should be legal, that's the thing, there's plenty of reasons, like, and not just
accidental pregnancies, of course, everything from incest to rape, usually that, those two go hand in
hand, but you get, you know, birth defects, and now they can test and find, oh, this baby's not going to survive past the first few days, and it's going to be in pain the whole time because it's going to be born with this heart on the outside.
Or you're going to die, ma'am, if you carry this baby to term.
You're not – whatever your physiology does will not allow you to have a birth.
And if we give you a C-section because of this other complication, you'll either bleed out or die from the anesthetic or your heart will stop.
All of those things are real-life scenarios in which an abortion is not only practical,
but it's humane.
You can't put off your chemo for eight more months.
And you can't carry it.
Yeah, that's one that happens.
Perfect.
One thing I don't like,
because I've got people in my circles because I'm older,
they're pro-choice until their kids hit like 20.
And then they flip over to pro-life because they're out of it they're out of the red zone they're out of the woods yeah
yeah that that's the drug one's good uh i'm trying to oh religion like i went i flipped on that and
then flipped back to where like i flipped from being raised religious to like fuck this this is awful
like i was lied to because like when you feel like you've been lied to you get very upset about it
you're like god damn it like these people probably kind of knew on some level that this wasn't 100
true and they were still forcing it down my throat and being kind of manipulated with it
and that's why kylo ren freaked out. I don't know about Star Wars.
He was lied that Darth Vader was his grandfather.
Oh.
He found out when everyone found out.
It wasn't public knowledge.
And he was like, damn it, everyone knew.
Even you, Luke.
Even you, Leia.
And then he's like, well, fuck it.
Team Snoke.
I have to take your word for all of this.
My bad.
No, you're good.
And then after hating religion for a while, like I kind of came back around to not being religious
myself, but just kind of being like, oh, you know what? Like I was kind of being a hater. Like this
does make a lot of people live better lives and they enjoy the structure it gives them. And it
makes them better members of society, more likely to give charity, more likely to do X, Y, Z. And I flipped back on that to like,
you know what? The world isn't as simple as just, oh, I'm so enlightened because I fucking watch
Bill Nye and know who Carl Sagan is. It's like, no, of course not. There's a lot more
intricacy to it. There's a lot of reasons that those rules and religions are the way they are
for forming structures and forming civilizations.
It's way more impactful
than I gave it credit when I was
oh-so-smart at 19 or whatever.
You actually did this with
Tinder, too.
That's the big one, really.
You thought you were so smart, thought you'd go get all the
pussy that you ever needed at the local
bar, and then you were like, you know what?
Technology. Let's let science figure this one out a little bit. Yep. Letting science do it. pussy that you ever needed at the local bar and then you were like you know what technology let's
let let's let science figure this one out a little bit yep letting science do it and so that's two
things i flipped on religion and tinder equally important in my world actually one's way more
important harley you got one but um i mean like a lot of these are are are similar to an extent
uh the religion one not so much or the abortion one not so much i didn't think much of it but I mean, like a lot of these are similar to an extent.
The religion one, not so much, or the abortion one, not so much.
I didn't think much of it, but it's not pressed as hard on my society as it is in yours.
But mostly the drug thing.
Also, when I was in the fourth grade, one of my good friends was this black kid, Richard, and this guy, Joel, who was two years older, uh, said to him was like, you know what, Richard,
you're an N word, but he didn't say N word.
He said the word.
And I just knew that word is like the ultimate bad word to say.
And Richard was the nicest guy I ever met.
And I, I ran and told on Joel right away and was like, can't believe it, man.
Like racism here at school.
They taught us about this.
Can't believe it was like that.
And when I got older and I got to high school, I met different people, more people.
And white people that I knew, and I played football. And I was one of three white people on the whole football team.
Not those three guys, but guys that I grew up with in school and stuff, casually using the N-word amongst their friends was so shocking to me.
was so shocking to me because like i could tell that it was like a thing that it's like you know 15 year olds like we're not allowed to say this word this is our word that we're gonna say and
no one's gonna know because it's a secret and i was shocked how casual and and prominent that was
and it was never a habit that i got into or became a part of because half of my time was spent playing football where like I would never in a billion years even like think the word, let alone make it part of my habit or something.
And like I've been around people that have like said that word casually.
casually like i and that was a shock to me that like racism was as casual as it is or people didn't realize that they were doing it as much as they did and i have to share this terribly
cringy story of this particular scenario i went to a friend's house um and he's a buddy of mine
he's one of those guys that like he's not a a bad guy and he has uh black friends but he's he was one
guy and it's very weird because i'm a joking guy that i had to say like don't don't say this word
don't say f word and don't say n word they're super sensitive words um and i was one too
the f agate yeah oh i was mine was four letters anyway thank you yeah
it's like we've been saying that all night.
Yeah, I had no idea.
No, not that one.
So I'm with my buddy,
so white guy that casually drops the N-bomb when he's around.
Like I'm sure you've all played Xbox Live.
You know what it sounds like.
You hear it ringing through your ears.
So I knew people like that,
and it's hard to tell them as your friends,
but it's a thing that they've all grown out of but this white guy that would casually say it
and my friend that i played football with who was black we sat down at my buddy's house and
we played dead or alive do you remember that game the fighting game so we were casually like smoking
chilling watching we're like 14 15 years old and my buddy here he finishes the game
now when you finish the game you could put in three letters for the high score
so he puts in his name which is three letters we're gonna say it's not this but i'm going to say he puts J-I-M, Jim. And then Jim is one of the scorers.
So there's 100 high scorers,
and my buddy has clearly beat this game over 100 times
because we are scrolling through all the top scorers in the game now.
And they start from 100 and go all the way up to one.
And every single score was named N-I-G.
Oh, no.
So every like we literally looked at this.
This guy beat the game 100 times.
And that's what he put.
Not like because he's racist, but because he's like, it's my private space and people say I can't say this word.
I need to do what I want.
I'm going to say this word.
Whatever it was, a hundred times he set the record and put the score as NIG.
And I sat there with my buddy right next to me as like it takes like 30 seconds to get through all the racism.
Third highest score, gym.
One gym.
And it locks there and it's sitting there and like, I feel like shit.
I feel cringy.
It's all terrible.
And then my black buddy just goes, huh.
And it was like, that was the only thing said anything done whatever i spoke to them both individually after the fact and those guys are buddies and stuff but
it was one of the first times they met and it was just like to just be there i was like this is
exactly what you do is you say 98 times, my Uncle Nigel is really good.
I'm glad I finally got on the board.
One for Jim, huh?
Have you ever had a period in your life where maybe you were a little racist?
I dressed up like Shaq.
Dude, that's not racist.
I'm kidding, I'm kidding.
Yeah, of course, I grew up
absolutely saying
and believing racist
things without understanding
that I was being racist because they were so
casual. Things as simple as seeing
a man with a turban and saying
look daddy, a genie.
Now that's me being racist at six years old.
It's just you being a curious kid.
It's you being misinformed.
That's not like...
A lot of the racism that I commit today
or that I see people commit today
are uninformed or ignorant.
It's the same thing.
Let me tell mine.
uninformed it's or ignorant it's the same thing like tell mine i wouldn't use i wouldn't use uh uh racism and and compare it directly to you know the whole the whole the whole gender thing that's
going on and the fascination with gender that we have now but like i mean it's like i i would I would absolutely misgender someone or say the wrong pronoun or whatever,
and it would be because I'm ignorant.
Like, I have some trans friends,
and literally one of the first things I said was,
because we're all fucked up, I'm like,
so y'all got dicks?
And that was a fucked up thing to say.
But I didn't know that because I've never been in the position.
But luckily I had a friend with me
and she's like Harley's cool it's fine and I was able to ask questions that if you ask these
questions even to your Twitter people would think you're a scummy idiot ignorant racist sexist
whatever but if you can find yourself in a position where you could sit down with like imagine I were
actually a black person
with dreads and i did really could explain it from my perspective why it bothers me if white people do
it's just everything comes from like i've never been racist and known what i was being racist
about and been like i don't care though i fucking hate mexicans i know I'm being racist and I don't care. I don't have that in me.
There's nothing in me that like I've ever been racist and meant it and stuck to it.
And because where I come from, it's a mosaic.
America is a melting pot and Canada is a mosaic.
A lot of the cultures retain their cultural identity.
cultures retain their cultural identity. So you have Italians, Jews, black people, Asians,
and none of them at the beginning of the day pledge allegiance to the same flag. They all have their own individual traditions and whatnot. So I've never, it's a different, it's a different
upbringing. Every, all the racism comes from, it starts from the generation before, essentially.
Not according to that Patterson's pathogen thing.
He thinks it's biological.
So the high school version of me and the current version of me were very much against racism.
Thinks it's wrong.
Thinks the world should be even, fair, etc.
Every person should have equal opportunity etc and but there was a year or two when i went to this college or william patterson was the first college i went to back when i was swimming and such and uh the school was like it
didn't have a heavy concentration of black and hispanic people it was like eight and eight percent or something. But the on-campus presence
of these guys was huge. And even this sounds racist, but it is what it is. It was mostly
commuter school, but because of the way financial aid was, it was really easy for Black and Hispanic
people to live on campus. And so like I would, I don't know, go to the arcade.
There was an arcade there.
You know, you stand up and you play the games.
And the black guys would take it over.
Like, I don't know.
Heck, all right, so they'd own the jukebox.
There was, like, a little jukebox.
You'd put things in it and play songs.
And it would play these rap songs or whatever.
And if you put on a song you like that they didn't, it was like a hunt.
Like, who the fuck put this on?
You know, like, how dare you play something other than the songs that they would have preferred, the rap music.
And, you know, like, I'm there playing Street Fighter.
Like, what?
It's not okay?
Like, I like ACDC.
Like, that's not okay.
Like, I put a quarter in just like you did, you know,
but these are all things I'm thinking.
You're like, I like the Spin Doctors.
That's perfect.
That's, like, what I would play.
Yeah, that was it.
That was, like, the music of the time.
Stop shitting on John Denver.
No, no, no.
But it would be like the Spin Doctors.
Like, I put on Two Princes or that Superman song or whatever.
And, like, so suddenly I'm, like, hunted.
And, like, if i'm on the elevator and
like four black guys come up they might not let me get off on my floor you know like like why why
like i'm being bullied by this and uh um if you're if you're walking on the sidewalk it seemed like
you know like it was always the black people who would walk four breast and make you go onto the grass and
this happened so much
that eventually
whatever 19 year old Woody is
it's pattern recognition man
what about the elevator?
that was one yeah
I just said that
you know what?
what you're describing
I need to go more in depth
they wouldn't let me off on my floor.
And they said, like, there's something about white people not being able to use it or something when I was on it.
I don't recall at the moment.
When I was in high school, I noticed that, like, you know, I was Jewish.
And I had a couple of Jewish friends when I first went to high school.
And there was a lot of black people at my school.
And there was quite a few Indians and quite a few, you know, Italians, Greeks.
And I'm not saying that like black people automatically get along with black people. When you are black and you see another black person,
it's clear that you're both black.
Sometimes there's the same fraternity thing going on there.
Right.
And because I'm white, I'm also Jewish,
I look at another white person,
I don't have that fraternal base foundation of like,
brother, nice.
You know? that fraternal base foundation of like brother nice you know like in a way i don't feel the need when i'm there to be like white people we gotta stick together i don't have that but i think
there's an inherent black people we gotta stick together thing but you knew bullies also those
aren't like obviously at the time you said pattern recognition and they happened to be black and you were probably running into the same 10 people that were friends.
No, it was widespread.
And William Patterson is not the greatest of schools, so it didn't attract the greatest of students.
And I guess this is where it gets
racist like i i'd see 150 black people or 250 black people who've all whatever shoulder bumped
you on the fucking sidewalk like assholes and then maybe i see the 300th one and i think i bet
he's a shoulder bumper you know and that's what racism is it's prejudging it's prejudice i i understand
but you know what like it it's funny because like it's racist to say this i'm white it's
technically racist like it revolves around race but we're not using it in a bad way but even to
be like you know this guy is white that guy's black that guy is brown that guy is asian like these are it's a racist statement it's just not negatively charged it's just like
it's just the basis of the statement is race i mean i i see what you're saying and i mean i can't
like it just sucks because you just met a bad batch of people you had a bad encounter with people and like you never know you never know
like what your body language was like or when you get to that 250th person it's like you're getting
like the self-fulfilling prophecy of like bet it's a shoulder bumper might as well just put my
shoulder into him and this guy's like oh this guy's coming i'm like i don't know you know but obviously not
all black people you know obviously not all black people are bullies and some black people like to
spin doctors you just went to a particularly it was a bad couple years when i grew up in high
school the point that i was making is that when i was younger grade seven eight like the hard
forming years a lot of my black friends were tight with all of each other and friendly with all of each other
and comfortable whereas myself and a lot of my like friends other friends we were a little awkward
during these years and quiet and introverted but this group of black people in numbers they were
comfortable and they were they they controlled more and, like, I don't want to say like bullies, but they were more comfortable and it made me uncomfortable growing up to an extent.
But that was just me and my own discomfort in the situation.
I wasn't comfortable in that situation.
You know what I mean?
So the school, William Patterson, was near near patterson the town named after the same guy
and uh it's like jersey's equivalent of ferguson missouri or something like it it's it's a place
that socioeconomically is just not doing well my wife grew up on the edge of patterson and you
could take her like three blocks from her house and she was lost she just wasn't allowed to be
there it was shocking to me but like that direction like just whatever it is like you can't head south that's like it's
forbidden in this house for those girls she's a two sisters uh they weren't allowed to go to that
part of town they'd be completely lost just a mile away from the house and uh so yeah it, I went to school in Lake. Just imagine Ferguson College.
And it was – you get enough bad behavior and –
But you're not racist now, right?
No.
It's easy not to be.
We're all good.
It's easy not to be when you never bump – when you never interact daily in Ferguson or Patterson.
Why do you got to say that?
I got to be like, I'm like, you're not racist.
And you're like, no, as long as I don't have to bump into them every day.
I guess I said it wrong.
It's like a certain forgiveness.
Now I'm trumping.
For the people that are fucking up, right?
Like, because it happened to me temporarily,
I get how it can happen to people who are otherwise good.
I can see why they get their mind all twisted
because a smaller group fucked them up.
Well, you know what?
At the end of the day,
you're benefiting from a white man society,
so don't worry about it.
You have white privilege and all that.
Well, thank goodness for that we should check that box on your next tax return i'm just kidding i just know i could pull another three hours out of taylor right there for sure
oh no i agreed with you we all have white privilege it's it's something we're born with sin
yeah totally agree sjw for life there it is well i'm glad we put that at
four hours 28 minutes and no one gets it i'm sure yeah thanks for coming again harley this is like
two quick uh recurring spots yeah i love it i love it i like being on uh guys check out my stuff
youtube.com harley more and epic meal time every week uh harley plays on instagram and young toy
boy on instagram i actually i've been taking pictures of my dolls it's great content trust me
i have some young boy toy
you know i say tomato
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