Painkiller Already - Painkiller Already #358

Episode Date: November 3, 2017

This week on PKA, Richard Ryan is back baby! Richard shares a lot about his coffee business, the guys watch some clowns get what they deserve coming to them as well as a deer exploding via the assist...ance of a motor vehicle. Where else are you gonna get this kind of show?!

Transcript
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Starting point is 00:00:00 All right, PKA episode 358 with our guest, Richard Ryan. Kyle? Yeah, a couple sponsors tonight. Squarespace, Movement Watches, SmartMouth, and we'll talk about that Walking Dead mobile game a little bit later on. But yeah, let's get right into it. Somehow I thought you weren't going to be ready with the ad.
Starting point is 00:00:15 I was like, oh, we forgot to get ready for the ad. But you were there. Clickety-click. Nicely done. I've been here for half an hour. Yeah. Richard, what's new with you? Oh, man.
Starting point is 00:00:26 Well, you know, I kind of took your advice there for a hot minute. Terrible. I know the last last conversation we had, like, I mean, my plate's always full. I've been juggling a lot of ways, it's hard to maintain the balance in life that you need to, I don't know, to live. And so I ended up actually last week, I stepped away from Rated Red and verizon hearst media partners complex networks uh as executive producer and uh i've been juggling time between salt lake city and nashville i'd do two weeks there two weeks here and uh it just kind of took a toll on me and i told the guys i was like hey look you know you've kind of grown to a point where you don't necessarily need my input in social media, digital media, and everything is constantly evolving.
Starting point is 00:01:31 I feel like you guys are in a good place to move without me. And so there's no hard feelings or anything along those lines. And, um, you know, I, I just know that, you know, with Black Rifle Coffee, um, there's a lot of things that I really want to do, um, as the brand matures and becomes something bigger than all of us who are part of it. Um, specifically like Veterans Day, I have a big, a big marketing initiative that I've been working on the last, last few weeks where you, you, you humanize the people in the company. It's not just about, hey, we're loud, we're awesome, we're cool. But, you know, there's really good stories to be told within the coffee company.
Starting point is 00:02:13 Example, one of the guys I'm focusing on was Afghan Commando. And he fought in Afghanistan with some of our owners there. And the Taliban, really interesting story. The Taliban had put hits out on him and his family. There have been situations where he had his kids in the car taking fire and things along those lines. He ended up coming over to the States. I guess he ended up getting a fast-track visa. And we ended up coming over to the States and I guess he got, ended up getting a fast track visa and, and we ended up hiring. Uh, he got ahold of, um, us at the coffee shop and everything. We brought
Starting point is 00:02:52 him on and you know, there's, there's all kinds of really good stories that need to be told within the company. And I'm, you know, I want to, yeah, I really want to focus on that stuff and, you know, I want to put some substance behind the stuff that it is that I create and not just feel like I'm I'm creating volume or whatever it is just trying to keep pace with all the other media out there so yeah that's really cool it's cool you can choose your own direction right like I feel like everyone I've ever met their job is a have to, right? Like they don't sit here and say, you know what? I'm not really inspired by today's work.
Starting point is 00:03:31 I'm going to move on to something that enriches my soul. It's like, yeah, bitch, how are you going to pay the mortgage? Get back there and answer these customer support calls. I stepped away from the accounting firm. Yeah, yeah. People need to be told to reboot when they call you to pick up the phone. Yeah, I tried taking your advice too on what's your number and things along those lines. And really, my number is probably lower than what I think it is.
Starting point is 00:04:00 And what type of life do I want to live? Where do I want to be 5, 10 years from now, 20 years from now, as far as relationships with friends and family and things along those lines? And, you know, I could I could I could I love to work. Like if there's if there's anything I can honestly say, it's it's I love to work. I really I don't think there's really been a job that i've i've loathed i mean everything from the hardest days construction to landscaping and things along those lines in la and mojave when it's like 110 degrees i loved it man like there's the smell of fresh cut grass getting out there working with my hands um the the labor part of it was extremely gratifying and seeing these like
Starting point is 00:04:42 digital media brands grow and become something way bigger than I could have ever even imagined. It's fun, man. I absolutely love it. I mean, you know, there's this one guy, Baker from Kill Cliff. He gives me a hard time because he's like, he's like, dude, like, you're just like always working all these jobs and everything. And it's just like, no, you can't tell anybody exactly what it is that you do because you do too many things and uh i was like well honestly the reason why i do is because i'm terrified man i i genuinely enjoy i'm i'm so grateful for all the opportunities and the work that i have that i'm i'm terrified that somebody's going to figure out that what i
Starting point is 00:05:22 do is fun and then everyone's going to want to do it. And then I'm going to get fired from that one or this one and that one. And it's like, I'm constantly waiting for the carpet to be pulled out from underneath me because it really is fun. I mean, you don't get me wrong. You put in a lot of hours. I mean, I think, I think everyone at the table here has put in a lot of hours, but, uh, and you totally understand where I'm coming from, but you know, it's, coming from but it's fun man it's a lot of fun if the three legs of life's stool are
Starting point is 00:05:49 fitness, finance and then friends and family that friends and family one must have been sacrificed who's making this stool I just made it you just make that stool up I made it up a little while ago
Starting point is 00:06:04 I wasn't on the spot that's pretty funny that you made that stool up. I made it up a little while ago. I wasn't on the spot. That's pretty funny, jumping in that you made that stool up because I was thinking like, oh man, that does make a lot of sense. Four things on the stool. No, there's three stools. There's three-legged stools. Oh, no. Finance, fitness, friends, family. Okay. To me, the relationship
Starting point is 00:06:20 tier was one, but it works that way too. Yeah, it's got to be three-legged because you've always got to work to keep it up right yeah three-legged uneven surfaces um yeah no i think it's funny we look at the the previous podcast that we've done and i think the those who have listened to those podcasts have seen that evolution of me and how it's affected my i mean clearly i think it was what, two or three podcasts ago that we were talking about, um, my ex-girlfriend and I splitting up after like seven or eight years of being together. And that, that is definitely, um, a consequence of my choices.
Starting point is 00:06:56 Um, and, and that's definitely something that, you know, I have to own up to and things along those lines. And that's why when we were having that conversation, I was like, in no way, shape or form could I put, you know, any of conversation, I was like, in no way, shape, or form could I put any of it. It's not one of those relationship fallouts where you set gas to it so you can walk away. It's like, no, this is me being a mature adult. I can't give you exactly what it is that we need to maintain a healthy relationship. But this is what I've been working for my entire life.
Starting point is 00:07:22 And this is what I'm going towards. So is one of your objectives to fire up the whole friends and family part with your but this is what I've been working for my entire life. And this is what I'm going towards. So is one of your objectives to fire up the whole friends and family part with your new time? Yeah, man. I mean, well, I don't have that much time like right now either. I filled that gap with more work at the coffee company. But, you know, it's like... I've grinded the beans now. I know, right?
Starting point is 00:07:49 Yeah. No, I'm definitely a workaholic but i think the environment um helps facilitate something like that if i were to choose to go that route because it's funny i saw the comment the other day and this was probably two or three days before uh chis reached out to me and you know, if you look in your creator analytics or creator studio, it'll give you, like, top comments and shit like that. And everyone's like, oh, please tell me you're not going the way of FPS Russia. Like, you haven't uploaded a video in, like, six months it's like well you know when you're juggling two really you know uh really well-paying or really important uh executive jobs it's like you kind of have to put that stuff on the back burner and kyle probably knows better than anyone else out there just the the amount of mental fatigue that goes into maintaining all the obligations within the ATF and stay
Starting point is 00:08:48 and local and permits and stuff like that. It's like, geez, man, I can get nickeled and dimed on time and money to the point it's like, like I do, I legit do YouTube videos and I have for the last 10 years for fun. Like it's me been being creatively having a good time. Hopefully I make a little bit of money on, on the, in the way, but it's, it's more of a by-product of these opportunities that I have either as an executive or a consultant or whatever it is that I do. Do you do Facebook advertising much in these things? Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Do you listen to Gary V? Is that his name? Gary Vanderchuk? Something like that? Yeah, yeah, yeah, I do. I do. I mean, there's there's a few like, that's, that's the thing is
Starting point is 00:09:31 like, anytime I commit to something, I have to, I have to make sure that I don't put myself in a position where I become arrogant in any way, shape or form, I have to like, I have to check the ego at the door and say, Hey, there's there's definitely people who are specialists. Let me see if I can figure out what, what it is that, you know, I get. So social media, marketing podcast to different blogs to, uh, listen to different people speak and things along those lines. It's super important, super important. Now, everything you hear people say kind of need to take with a grain of salt because everything's constantly changing, be it algorithms or, you know, even I remember when I first started advertising on Facebook, it was, man, you could get a conversion for like one penny. saturated to the point where it drove up the cost. And now you see different things like with chat bots and things along those lines where people are jumping into messenger advertising and things along those lines to emulate the path of, say, email marketing and things along those lines. So
Starting point is 00:10:38 it's really interesting to see the evolution. And for me, that's what I enjoy. It's the challenge of trying to predict a wave that's coming in, kind of ride it, and then wait for the next set. I'm curious where you're at, because I know the Black Rifle Coffee, obviously, you're putting more time and thought into that. Like, kind of where in that company's evolution are you? Like, you guys are all e-commerce. Like, have you thought about trying to get it in stores? Or what's kind of the direction? Or if you do have a kind of final goal. Yeah. The company itself, I don't know exactly what all I can speak to.
Starting point is 00:11:18 But the growth has been beyond exponential. I'd have to pull up the stats so I'm not misspeaking. But it's been around seven. Exponential can be pretty good. It is, absolutely. And it's beyond exponential. I know, but there's a lot of exponents out there. It seems like. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:11:34 Well, so exponential growth means usually in commerce, one of two things. Either you don't make any money or you take on VC money. And for us, you know, the guys in the company, like, I can't, I can't even put into words how amazing it is to see these guys bust their ass so hard for two years on chicken scratch. Like, nobody's paying themselves exorbitant salaries or anything along those lines. Us as owners, none of us have taken any dividends.
Starting point is 00:12:11 Every single penny that's came back into the company or that's came in and went back into the company to buying product, to helping cut out middlemen in the process so that it becomes a well-oiled machine.
Starting point is 00:12:21 So we're not at the mercy of any one vendor. And so as far as the plans growing in the future we're definitely looking at brick and mortar um but i i really can't speak to all that stuff you know my job is the the cmo is focusing primarily on the the marketing and content strategy for that stuff so okay that's really cool yes i wanted to get richard's opinion on our question from last week that we we had these two incredibly shitty individuals one of them was a lady who was babysitting a nine-year-old girl she the the nine-year-old girl was a little rambunctious i suppose so the lady sat on the child to quieten the child down you know unfortunately she's 320
Starting point is 00:13:06 325 pounds the child died in nine minutes now a slow well who's key who was watching a stop standard they just take the weight the age of the child they looked at the child imprint on her of the child there's an algorithm for all of this they looked at the child imprint on her fat ass and oh that's nine minutes worth that is nine minutes so there's that lady there's that lady what if she was in
Starting point is 00:13:34 and then there was this white guy I mention that because I feel like race is important in this issue in Conway, South Carolina who literally enslaved a black mentally retarded man in his restaurant and beat him and cursed at him on a daily basis with a belt buckle for 10 years forcing for years i think forcing him paying him the equivalent of like three thousand dollars per year but that was in an account that the black guy couldn't touch um he would he would
Starting point is 00:14:04 dip tongs into hot grease and get him on the back of the neck with it, I guess, when he was not working up to whatever this guy thought he should be. Calling him the N-word, screaming it at him, telling him he was going to stomp his throat in, beating him with a belt buckle. Literal enslavement. So I argued that the slave master from Conway, South Carolina was a more evil individual than the lady who sat on her niece and crushed her to death.
Starting point is 00:14:33 Man, that's a tough one. That's a super tough one. I would say prolonged torture is definitely one of those things that's like... I have a question from last week as well. Who is Potter? Christina Hendricks?
Starting point is 00:14:47 Did I get her name right? Or Jennifer Lawrence? J-Law. Yeah, that's what I'm talking about. We're actually in the minority. So we had two things. Kyle and Taylor thought that like the Locke and Schwarzenegger
Starting point is 00:15:01 were better looking or more attractive to females than like Ryan Gosling and Brad Pitt from Troy. You got to include the head down thing though. Okay, from the head down. It's about body type. The Schwarzenegger-Rock body type is better than like the Brad Pitt from Troy body type. And based on the internet, they're on the wrong team on that one.
Starting point is 00:15:22 And based on the internet, we're on the wrong team on the Jennifer Lawrence thing. Really? Yeah, like 75% preferred Christina Hendricks. But that won't stop any of us from being confident that we're correct on both counts. Absolutely, because these are a thing. Because I am positive that Christina Hendricks is hotter than Jennifer Lawrence.
Starting point is 00:15:40 And I'm also... Kyle, you presented those two evil actions in a very biased way, to be fair. But, yeah, they are closer to the same level of evil, I think, than I thought last week. At the end of the day,
Starting point is 00:15:58 it still, to me, comes down to one of them, a child is crushed to death. You know? One of them was a worse action but i think the slave owner might have had a worse spirit had he not been enslaved i'm sure i'm sure because that's typically what happened this is the burn on the back of my neck from the tongs that my former boss gave me when i wouldn't make the fries fast enough i stayed in the shack out behind the restaurant for seven years. I got no money. I invented a popular t-shirt after I left. So I would say the thing is with
Starting point is 00:16:33 someone who is slow or mentally challenged, whatever you want to call it, their brain would be the thing that is of inefficiency, deficiency, or whatever, but their neural system is still properly functioning. I mean, his pain receptors are still... Like, you pinch him, he's still going to be like, hey, what? Ah! It's not like when you torture an animal. Like, he could feel it. Well, I don't know everyone who's mentally deficient.
Starting point is 00:17:02 Like, if it were Colin, because sometimes I put him in these positions, it would hurt his feelings way more than, like, Taylor, Kyle, or, like, anyone here. Like, he would just be betrayed, and it would be very sad. Just a different kind of processing for it. You're right. It would be a more intense betrayal of like because you know they anticipate that someone's going to look out for him right i think because they've had that experience in the past and so when someone just you know obviously takes advantage of them they
Starting point is 00:17:34 don't even know how to respond who had custody like how did how did this come about he was an adult he was an adult but yeah oh yeah he was like 30, 40 years old. Yeah. Jesus. Yeah. That was a rough movie. Well, to defend the Jennifer Lawrence thing, that's extremely subjective, though, too. It's like, for me, it's all about brunettes. Like, I love chicks with dark hair, brunettes. And she's like that kind of girl next door.
Starting point is 00:18:01 Like, Hunger Games, Jennifer Lawrence. Like, yeah. That's definitely. All right. What about, What's her name? Alexandria Daddario? You familiar with the chick? Oh, yes! I don't know who that is. She has blue eyes, too. Blue eyes, dark hair.
Starting point is 00:18:14 So she is from True Detectives. The chick who gets naked with Woody Harrelson, who is a very shapely lady. She was in Baywatch. Her tits are so fucking big that there's that clip on the internet where she's shirtless but facing the opposite direction. And you can see her tits from behind. They're like out to the sides.
Starting point is 00:18:31 They're so fucking big. Oh, yeah. She is beautiful. I don't know her name, but I think that Kyle will. Like Emily Ratajkowski or something. Ah, Ratajkowski. Super mega hot. Like perfect human sculpted
Starting point is 00:18:46 like 10 out of 10 no room for improvement that is like a perfect female form and she's been doing nude modeling since she was 18 so you can go back to those prime Emily Rajowski pictures that's a thing that I have discovered
Starting point is 00:19:02 for me anyway I'll speak for me changes as you age right like 18 year old You're like ah she's good, but she's still ripening. You know It's not until she gets a little like I think current her might be peak her in my head So um she's like post nudes on her Instagram and stuff think she was in a Robin Thicke video. That's how she came to fame She's like dancing Naked in that video. That's all she does like she doesn she's like dancing naked in that video that's all she does like she doesn't have any other talent just dances like she gets naked and she takes
Starting point is 00:19:30 pictures of herself and and that's enough talent for me have you seen a youtuber that twerks twerking's a little out of fashion now i will look for her never out of fashion ah this woman like on a scale of one to 10, she's hot. Like, 9 1⁄2 or something. But to watch her dance, it takes you to an 11 or something. Like, it's outrageous. That's too much. I feel like when I...
Starting point is 00:19:58 It's just too much. Sit still. Sit still. Let me look at you. It's too much. Stop moving around so much. You want to much her body gyrate around and sit still just lay there around too much yeah and take you have to do some more research into this Rijowski girl yeah but yeah you're right to. Daddario, she's really good. She is sexier than
Starting point is 00:20:26 Christina Hendricks. I would have put her ahead of that. But of equal age, I might go with Christina Hendricks. It's just that Christina Hendricks, I'm guessing, is 42, 43 years old. And Daddario is like 28 years old, I'm guessing.
Starting point is 00:20:42 Again, she was just in Baywatch and everything. She's kind of in her prime acting career. But I prefer red hair. Oh, I love red hair. You're correct. That's my favorite type of woman, I guess, is red hair and really light skin and big everything. Yeah, that porcelain skin that you know is going to age really well.
Starting point is 00:21:07 Yeah. Petite, small, everything, brunette, freckles, pale skin, whatever, blue eyes. Yeah. As a man, you can be converted to any of these things. Anything.
Starting point is 00:21:21 If I'm talking all day, I love Christina Hendricks and that curvy you know beautiful body like and i'm like oh i only like girls like that like if a cute little petite girl with small ass and small boobs you know is like as soon as you see her naked you're gonna be like all right this is this pretty good too this is great yeah like personality you can take a chick from a five to a 12 or down to a one immediately. That's the determining factor for me. Let's put some softies in. Personality is definitely below
Starting point is 00:21:50 looks for me. Looks is above personality. I think a lot of guys, if they're honest, agree. Because you could have your best friend's mind in the body of some cow and you're not going to be like, oh man, I just love how they're morbid just love oh it's a sliding
Starting point is 00:22:05 scale for sure but there's a critical mass where they could be you could have the hottest chick yeah have the hottest chick and she's just like dumb as a brick or she's not on your same page it's like okay well i can't really i can't yeah i can't i can't be around you outside of the bedroom i'd be okay with dumb as a brick as long as she was a friendly, kind, dumb as a brick. You know? Like, I don't need her doing calculus. Like, I can't even do that.
Starting point is 00:22:35 And as long as she doesn't think that she's really smart or something and she has these profound thoughts, but she's always regurgitating just nonsense and making an ass of herself or something. But, you know, we should stick to just being superficial here and not talk about their personalities. As if, you know, that doesn't matter.
Starting point is 00:22:51 That's less cruel. Yeah, yeah. I'd rather focus on, like, I just want to continue talking about red-headed girls with enormous asses. And we could be back four hours. I'm trying so hard to find this twerk video that I think would change your mind about how amazing twerking can be, and I'm trying so hard to find this twerk video that I think would change your mind about how amazing
Starting point is 00:23:07 twerking can be, and I'm just struggling. I don't know. I've been to some strip clubs. I'm familiar. Look, I watch a lot of YouTube, and this girl stands out. Man. Have you ever been to the Spearmint Rhino, though? No, I haven't.
Starting point is 00:23:27 Chiz said, unless her cunt looks like exploded lunch meat. First of all, Chiz, rude. And second of all, I definitely disagree with you and Kyle's vendetta against, as Jim Norton would put it, a meaty pussy. I think it's fine. It's got to be bananas down there for me to be like, all right, this is a problem. You know the only subreddit that I – there's the NotSafeForWork subreddits, right? And when I'm flicking through my Reddit browser in the morning, I click on all the NotSafeForWork stuff. Almost virtually every single one of them.
Starting point is 00:23:59 And I do it so quickly that every now and then there's a cock mixed in. It's like, ah, that's Gay Bros Gone Wild. Shit. You're just so on the NotS for work train yeah just hitting as fast as i can oh i did it again and again there's two that i won't go to though with the with women and one of them is labia gone wild because again not under that big meaty pussy disgusting and the other is gruel g-r-o-o-l which is like a grueling pussy which is like not a wet pussy it's like a drooling pussy that's like sticky and usually they've got like got it on their fingers and they're showing you just how grueling it is and what it looks like often because they'll pull their panties to the side to demonstrate it looks like you blew your
Starting point is 00:24:43 nose in their panties a little bit. And, like, both of those things are turn-offs for me. I hope so. Yeah. I mean, you were describing it. I don't think that sounds like a turn-off. It sounds like an infection. It does.
Starting point is 00:24:57 If it's just the underwear, then, yeah, that's kind of gross. Because that's the same as, like... Yeah. Well, it's literally discharge. Yeah, not internet. I was trying to find the labia subreddit you just said because like it's not that you have to be into the the crazy labia or whatever you can just be someone who who just doesn't really care either way like if i see she's got some labia action going on i'm like all right you know the more the merrier down here i suppose i. I'm taking the demographic of the podcast as pretty heavily male.
Starting point is 00:25:28 If there are any women watching this, take this place. And self-confident women. To any women listening, if you've got a big, meaty pussy, go get the labiaplasty. Go get the surgery and fix it. I say this every time, and there's nothing sexist or wrong about me saying that because if if i had either one of those crazy uh like ant eater penises things going on that's like really gross and like the foreskin wouldn't even come back or if my testicles were like eight inches long and i had to like tie them in a knot to keep them
Starting point is 00:26:02 from hanging out the bottom of my basketball shorts or something like that, I would get a surgery to fix those things as well. All right? I want about three inches taken out of this nutsack. We're going to tighten this up. I found a video. I don't know if it's the best example of her, but you will see. This girl, look, she's hot.
Starting point is 00:26:20 And by the way, you have to get like 16 seconds into the video. So just, you know, have a little patience. Just deal with it to get like 16 seconds into the video so just you know have a little patience just deal with it yeah 16 seconds in she starts twerking and then let's twerk out yeah it's it's bananas are you guys ready queued up at zero yeah yep all right three two one play i'm already sold. Yeah, see, already she's good. So the camera guy knew not to just go from the neck down.
Starting point is 00:26:58 Good lord, right? Yeah, I'm a fan. Because it's clearly an ass that she's worked for. You know, it's not just her being overweight. So you can tell there's some muscular weight being thrown around there. That's pretty impressive, yeah. And the pants really accentuated as well. Yeah, this is not her first time.
Starting point is 00:27:16 No. I just wish those pants would explode. I wish that was part of it. They would just explode off of her from the violence working yeah those pants are putting in overtime right now but you can see a performance like this at the strip club though this is a absolutely yeah bless her heart it's such a kind thing. Doing the Lord's work. I paused it.
Starting point is 00:27:47 I've been to one strip club in my entire life, and it was totally forgettable. Like, it was fine. But it wasn't anything to write about. I think Kyle's got a lot better experiences. Yeah, man. I don't like the strip club. I don't like it. I don't like the experience at all.
Starting point is 00:28:04 I don't like women pretending they like you which is it's like the biggest turnoff ever and that's all you get at the strip club I went to a strip club one time with like a porn star as my date and I was trying to pick up another Strip club to like take back with us and the porn star like she was in the know She's like these bitches got herpes and I was ah all right. Maybe you know better than me. A little bit of projection. Yeah, well, maybe. And plus the stripper wanted like $300, $400, I think, to come back with
Starting point is 00:28:34 or something like that. I'm pretty sure that's prostitution, so better not do that. But in any case, it literally is. Of course it is. She's like, close call. The ATM's right over there. Alright then. So I don't like going to literally is of course it is close call the atm's right over there all right then yeah um so so i i don't like going to the strip club but when i do go i i'm often the guest of someone who like knows
Starting point is 00:28:54 their strip clubs or for whatever reason we're getting some special uh attention or or whatever and i don't know we went to this one i think where were we maybe in ohio somewhere and it was two levels like a two-story strip club and the interesting thing was that there would be chicks dancing upstairs and they would come down through a hole in the ceiling and just now they're on your level like because the pole goes up through your level through the ceiling and up into another strip club upstairs so like we'd be watching our strippers and then all of a sudden a sky stripper would come down from above twirling around and i just i can still see this bitch's shoe flying off and hitting our table drinks explode everywhere and like nobody was mad it was just like fuck yeah that's a goddamn
Starting point is 00:29:42 show right there fuck yeah i don't care that you spilled my $11 beer. Oh, they paid for our drinks? You know, they came over and refilled everybody's drinks, and I think they bought us a second round, and like, you know. But you see, if you go to a good strip club where you're gonna spend, you know, hundreds
Starting point is 00:29:59 of dollars, and you're at the main stage, like, there are some hot fucking strippers, man. Who can dance just like this chick? That's impressive what she's doing, don't get me wrong. You probably wouldn't see that in the wild just randomly too often, I wouldn't think. But at a strip club, those are some pretty common moves,
Starting point is 00:30:20 especially the part where she's down on her knees and shaking her ass. That is a signature strip club move. One strip club move that has to hurt is where they drop from above and just slam their pussies on
Starting point is 00:30:36 the floor. There was a chick in Louisville, and that was her signature move. She had like a big fucking ass, and she'd go up the pole and then drop. The clam dropped. The clam slammed. It was so loud when she hit the floor.
Starting point is 00:30:51 She was slamming the fucking stage with her pussy. She would try to get money to stick to her ass when she dropped. That was the goal. I found a baby in there. The reason this video is hotter than seeing a stripper do it is because you know this girl is not a stripper do you know you expect i don't know that well we don't okay we don't know these things but let's assume she's not a stripper
Starting point is 00:31:17 she's probably not like she gets 21 million views of video so yeah definitely not but like if you wanted this girl to do this for you you'd have to earn it you have to like show your worth and stuff but like a stripper wouldn't and so it's like to your point kyle it's not as attractive it would be like getting a prostitute where like even if you were having sex the whole time you'd be like uh this person doesn't want to be here right now like why like it would make you not want to be there i feel like because you want if your partner's not having fun then you're kind of not having fun either yeah most of the time uh Trey took me to a strip club one time and uh all the girls knew him when we walked in so I knew it was going to be an interesting experience but like get in the back and I'm getting some like private dance and uh Trey goes uh this is my Russian friend he likes
Starting point is 00:32:03 to see the pussy she's like you like to see the pussy? And shows me her pussy, and I was like, wow, this guy has an in at the strip club. He must be here all the fucking time. Because these girls have standards. They don't show their pussy to anybody who walks in their door. It's illegal.
Starting point is 00:32:19 They can't show you their pussy. Oh, okay. In our situation, it was illegal. And yeah, it's pulling it out. That's how you know you're going to have a good time. I have a strip club story. So I generally don't go. Jackie and I have an agreement and whatever.
Starting point is 00:32:35 And we're... Whatever. We just don't go. But I was in the Dominican Republic. And we weren't going out to a strip club. We were just out in the town doing whatever and I'm with like five guy friends and the
Starting point is 00:32:49 five of them agree to go to a strip club so what am I going to do like sit by the front door and tap my watch while they all have a good time? You can't do that. I enter the building and so there's all these strippers like doing their thing and there's a glass ceiling above the dance stage where there's girls having strippers doing their thing, and there's a glass ceiling above the dance stage
Starting point is 00:33:05 where there's girls having pretty much lesbian sex, but you can't see it that well because it's not clean anymore, the glass. The floor is disgusting. A little grueling. It might have been grueling. It looks like they just finished the regional snail race competition. I think a lot of it was just skin grease, like your glasses might get if you touched them.
Starting point is 00:33:24 I think a lot of it was just like skin grease, you know, like your glasses might get if you touched them. But then, inexplicably, one of the strippers comes around and she's trying to sell or give away puppies or something. And it just like completely just, they were adorable. In the Dominican Republic? Yeah, like five week old puppies that she's trying to like hand out or give away or sell or something to all the patrons there. Patrons? Patrons. Unless you pledge $5 a month to these puppy wielding hookers.
Starting point is 00:33:57 But yeah, and then forever, that was the big takeaway from that night. The whole puppies thing. The puppies were great. What was the quality of the stripper like? was there a pole that you're watching them swing around or was it all just like a glass bottom boat thing uh oh no it was it was top notch uh some of the girls were outstanding and some of them weren't uh but the facility like there was a stage where they danced and then there was like another stage surrounded by a bar and then there was an upstairs thing where they did pretty much sex and uh but you couldn't see it that well so
Starting point is 00:34:30 i presume they were doing sex for all i know they could be one inch away the whole time and it was just too dirty to see through the glass i don't go to the strip club a whole lot uh i say a whole lot. I've probably been like three times and pretty much every time is Vegas right for Chacho or a birthday or something along those lines. And I was going for a birthday celebration with some other, I guess, social media personalities and stuff like that. and we ended up going to Vegas, and I'd never really been, never really paid attention to anything there, and I know you get the free ride, so they send a limo out to pick you up and everything, and you get there, and you see this line wrapped around the building. You're like, geez, what's going on here? Why are all these chicks trying to get in the strip club and everything? I didn't realize that they were like, those chicks, they go into work. And so if they're not, if they're not pulling dances and stuff like that, they, they kick them out or they
Starting point is 00:35:30 let the regulars come in or whatever. But all these chicks are like kind of auditioning to work that night because it's CES or it's shot show or whatever. So you got all these hot chicks trying to get in. So, well, my friend called ahead in advance and the promoter really good friend of his um he's like dude i'm gonna hook you up you know and it was it was borderline racist and a lot of no but not borderline he was like i want to know every everything that turns you on from ethnicity to height uh breast size ass i want I want you to be specific. I want you to be extremely specific about what you guys want. And I'm going to start bringing chicks up or whatever. And so we get up there and I'm like, okay, it's his birthday. So like me and a couple of buddies,
Starting point is 00:36:18 we end up buying dances for everyone. Like, okay, well, we'll have everyone go to the VIP area. end up buying dances for everyone like okay well we'll we'll have everyone go to the vip area so this chick comes over and she's like like they pretty much hold you hostage it's hard to like be like hey no like i'm sorry i'm just not into you i'm sorry i'm sorry you're not you're not my speed i'm not attracted to you or whatever but this girl comes over just won't take no for an answer right but i'm like i'm trying to make like the birthday thing kind of fun for him so i was like all right let's do the vip thing or whatever we'll get like a few girls and everybody go over there into that area and so we go over there and we sit down and i kid you not i see like the the girls start doing like the lap dances and everything for all the other dudes and uh the girl who came in there with me,
Starting point is 00:37:06 she goes to start her lap dance. And I guess the promoter told them who everyone was and what everyone did immediately, immediately. Like, like soon as the fucking song started, she started asking me for advice on like social media and like and like she's trying to get a gofundme going to like get legal fees for her like no for her kid like a custody battle
Starting point is 00:37:35 with her baby daddy and so she gets off to the side to the side of me and like like puts her arm around so she can see me and start talking to me and i look over at the other guys and everything i'm like this is the worst fucking i'm paying i am paying a premium to give this chick advice sitting next to me it's like you're not even holding up your end of the deal what the fuck was she dancing around while while you were giving her advice not even close it It was so frustrating. So she took advantage of you, which I guess is what happens in most strip clubs. Sucker.
Starting point is 00:38:15 The worst strip club I've ever been to was in my hometown. It was called the Cafe Risque. And they slid in and they applied for their licensing as a family burger restaurant and i guess nobody checked the fine print and they were like yeah okay sounds good then they get the strippers in there now they serve burgers they were okay but they had strippers too and uh they were open like 24 hours a day of of course, as a strip club, and we would go literally just
Starting point is 00:38:46 to play pool, because they had two pool tables, and we would go in there and shoot pool, like late at night, like three in the morning and shit like that, and they would, we'd be in there so much, they'd complain, like, hey, you gotta, you gotta go up there and tip the girls, or you can't be in here just shooting pool all night for 50 cents a game or whatever, so we'd go over and like, you know, spend a few dollars on the girls. And I just remember going over and being like, ah, didn't I go to high school with you?
Starting point is 00:39:10 And she's just like, yeah. And she's like fucking snaggle teeth, just really fucking nasty, like moles all over her. And just really gross chicks. And because especially late at night, none of them were hot. Did you go during prime time isn't
Starting point is 00:39:26 that when the best girls are there tuesday at noon yeah this is like tuesday for real free burgers during the week at like two in the morning something like that and i remember kind of like joking with uh with scott and i was like you know it'd be funny if we threw a quarter now i never would because that's really offensive to throw change at them. We gave dollar bills and stuff like that. And he was like, uh-uh. You get in trouble up here, they throw your ass out through that door, and they hit your head on it on the way out.
Starting point is 00:39:57 And I'm like, how do you know that? He said, well, we're in here one night. See, this scar and this scar and this scar. And Jeremy, the girl is like shaking her ass in front of Jeremy, We're in here one night. See this scar and this scar and this scar. Slow learn. Jeremy, the girl is like shaking her ass in front of Jeremy. And Jeremy goes, boop, and pokes her in the asshole after he licks his finger. So he fingered her ass? A little. I don't know if it went in.
Starting point is 00:40:20 Was there a penetration? I wasn't there. He claimed there was a little penetration, just the tip. But he licks his finger and poof, pokes her in the asshole. And she straight up, Leon! And, like, Leon comes over and grabs Jeremy and hits his head on the door on the way out and slings him out through the yard. And they were asked to leave.
Starting point is 00:40:42 Why did he do that if he already knew that he was going to get it? That's how he learned. Oh, that's how he learned. Just give it to the old sloppy Cosby. Can I get my burger to go, please? Can I wash my hands first? No. Purell?
Starting point is 00:40:59 Richard Ryan's camera frozen for everybody else. It literally just froze for me. But he's been good up until now. Given the option, I wouldn't want to put my finger in a stripper's behind. I think that it seems dirty. Well, okay. You're under the assumption that everyone else's behind is cleaner? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:41:22 I mean, fair. But there's just something different about it. Yeah, there's just something different about it yeah there's just something different about a stripper because you know you're not you're not fucking columbus in that regard that there are trade routes that have been established there whereas with like a normal girl it's like oh okay like you know i'm probably one of the you know so first to pave this road all right it's almost uh it's like, oh, okay. I'm probably one of the first to pave this road. It's almost Halloween here. Thanks for dressing up, guys.
Starting point is 00:41:50 Yeah, I see that you came dressed as... Taylor came dressed as a Ferguson, Missouri resident. I like it a lot. Very regional. I like that a lot. Didn't get enough. Maybe on PKN, I'll find some kind of a costume or something like that. I was looking at Donald Trump masks, but the really good ones are very expensive,
Starting point is 00:42:10 like thousands of dollars, not even exaggerating. Where are you going to wear that? You're just going to get assaulted somewhere. Good point. But one of my favorite things in the world is people getting beaten up that deserve it. And one of the scariest things in the world to me that actually exists out there is these creepy motherfuckers who dress up as clowns and like
Starting point is 00:42:31 walk into neighborhoods to frighten children and just creep people out. Clowns are not people too. Clown lives do not matter. Tell your friend I said so. He's really nice. We've been through this. He's not. He's disturbed. Have we shown my clown friend to everyone?
Starting point is 00:42:50 Yes. So we've shown the picture. All of the pictures and you don't have a single picture of him that supports your point that he is a nice guy or a normal guy. It's him with his rape ambulance. It's him with his rape crew. It's him just looking rapey
Starting point is 00:43:07 he's a scary fucking clown dude and he's an adult he's not like a 19 year old like on the edge kind of being edgy kind of guy like oh i'm in a rock band too no this is his friend his adult friend look at this are you sure we've shown him to everyone? Oh, yeah. So it's out there. I think we've gotten some feedback on that because he's a scary looking clown. He's a really nice guy. He's one of the nicest guys you'll meet. I bet he's a nice guy. Nicest guy you'll meet in scary clown makeup.
Starting point is 00:43:40 If I had a passion for clowning, clowning around, clownage, whatever it is, and I wanted to bring joy to the lives of children in whatever misguided way turns you into a clown, I would dress up like a Ronald McDonald style clown. I would be the kind of clown that would be like, all right, kids still like this. You try and be happy and fun and do his lips in the way that it kind of looks blackface-y, but it's not because he's a clown. But with this one, this clown is like,
Starting point is 00:44:00 he went out thinking like, what is the scariest way I can look like a clown? What gets me about his clown costume is how it's not that reversible right like those brass knuckles tattooed on the back of his hand that's an all the time thing that that 18 inch tall mohawk i mean like it's not always sticking straight up, but that's his hair. Watch, kids! I'm going to pull human innards out of my sleeve! Super nice guy, by the way. I like how he maintains the facial hair
Starting point is 00:44:32 with that or whatever. Yeah, that's a thing, too. I don't even know what to call that. A reverse goatee? That's his facial hair. That's what he rocks. There's a lot of commitment going on in that clown costume.
Starting point is 00:44:48 I wish he would get committed. I picture him as being like 6'10 or something ridiculous. He's taller than me. He's tall-ish. But if you were broken down on the side of the road, he's the guy you'd want. Oh my god, I'd shoot
Starting point is 00:45:04 him right away. Oh my god, he's the guy you'd want. Oh, my God. I'd shoot him right away. Oh, my God. He's coming. You'd be making a mistake in your judgment because he would totally help you. No, I've got AAA. They're on the way. And the police. Yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:45:17 Good, kind-hearted soul. So I've got this video here. It's the top ten best killer clown beatdowns. Got to love that title. Chiz, if you could find me the one where they step on the clown's chest and then shoot him, that one's not in this top 10, but I really wanted to
Starting point is 00:45:33 show that one off. I don't know how else to describe it. This one does have the home intruder clown, though. Let's watch this. I love this video, and I'm hoping that this halloween's spurs on uh a sequel to this video because as of right now i've exhausted all of youtube's killer clown beatdowns this is a tangent i didn't know existed i'm like i'm so excited i'm queued up and ready
Starting point is 00:45:58 i am all good to go wait where oh if you want to watch at home, top 10 best Killer Clown beatdowns. Six million views. Yeah, damn. That'd be good. Alright, are we ready? Yep. Yeah. Three, two, one, play. I honestly don't know what the fuck to do. Don't really or something. The clown has a weapon.
Starting point is 00:46:24 The clown is attacking this car with a piece of wood. Oh shit! Oh shit. He's freaking dead a little. Woah! Did he hit himself with this piece of wood? I think he did. Holy fuck!
Starting point is 00:46:37 He did and then he caught some like anti-freeze or whatever. Oh shit. Dude he's coming back! Go! Oh god! Fuck! Go! GO! GO! GO! GO! GO! GO! GO! GO! GO! GO! GO! GO! GO! GO! GO! GO! GO! GO! GO! GO! GO! GO! GO! GO! GO! GO! GO! GO! GO! GO! GO! GO! GO! GO! GO! GO! GO! GO! GO! GO! GO! GO! GO! GO! GO! GO! GO! GO! GO! GO! GO! GO! GO! GO! GO! GO! GO! GO! GO! GO! GO! GO! GO! GO! GO! GO! GO! GO! GO! GO! GO! GO! GO! GO! GO! GO! GO! GO! GO! GO! GO! GO! GO! GO! GO! GO! GO! GO! GO! GO! GO! GO! GO! GO! GO! GO! GO! GO! GO! GO! GO! GO! GO! GO! GO! GO! GO! GO! GO! GO! GO! GO! GO! GO! GO! GO! GO! GO! GO! GO! GO! GO! GO! GO! GO! GO! GO! GO! GO! GO! GO! GO! GO! GO! GO! GO! GO! GO! GO! GO! GO! GO! GO! GO! GO! GO! GO! GO! GO! GO! GO! GO! GO! GO! GO! GO! GO! GO! GO! GO! GO! GO! GO! GO! GO! GO! GO! GO! GO! GO! GO! GO! GO! GO! GO! GO! GO! GO! GO! GO! GO! GO! GO! GO! GO! GO! GO! GO! GO! GO! GO! GO! GO! GO! GO! GO! GO! GO! GO! GO! GO! GO! GO! GO! GO! GO! GO! GO! GO! GO! GO! GO! GO! well there they just pointed a gun at someone walking innocently in a clown costume that was more of a felony brandishing right brandishing road oh this is terrible
Starting point is 00:47:21 ok what happened here audio thing yet The clown walked up to him, they both were like about to shake hands, and he punched him in the face. What the fuck? I'm still waiting for one where the clown is in the wrong. Okay. Here we go. What the fuck? But wait! When was the clown supposed to get hit first?
Starting point is 00:47:38 Why did they pull over and... This clown... Get your ass out of there, motherfucker! This is the same guy just pointing a gun at the car I'm really pro clown in most of these beatdowns come here take off your mask take off your mask look at that poor kid did you see he looked like he was 16! Yeah he needed a good clown slapping. Yeah that's a life lesson. I'm anti-clown.
Starting point is 00:48:12 Now this clown has a gate where it looks like he's trying to scare someone. He's got a club. Oh yeah. Alright that guy deserved it. I don't know if you can see that guy didn't know the video people assaulting people around the clown you get what the boy get the horn dress the clown
Starting point is 00:48:38 get your ass beat by some black people black clowns that's true it does seem true they point guns at them this video has me sold on that theory I was a air saw it's the Springfield XD I'll drop a clown at 100 yards. Yo, anybody here? I'm telling you, I got 16 in this motherfucking chamber. Nigga, I'm not playing. 16 in the chamber? That's a lot in the chamber. That won't work at all.
Starting point is 00:49:23 Nigga, I'm not playing. Nobody in the cupboard I feel like Richard knows how to clear a house and he's just not happy with this guy Jesus Christ hold your ass alright so there was maybe one in there where the clown was walking with that gate where he had
Starting point is 00:49:50 that club behind him like he's going to do something creepy and then he got tackled. I don't have a problem with that one as much. The other 90% of the video was just people assaulting clowns. I'm with you on the 90% but I thought the shooting was good. That guy he was in that person%, but I thought the shooting was good. That guy,
Starting point is 00:50:06 he was in that person's home, I presume, and he was headed toward him. Open fire. Yeah, that one's fine. I was waiting for the clown to be like, this is my house! You're the drunk one. What are you doing to me?
Starting point is 00:50:22 I was painting. It's all over my face. So Kyle, you think all of these guys deserve it just by virtue of the clowning. You can't think that. Look, unless it's Halloween, if you're out dressed as a clown, then you've singled yourself out
Starting point is 00:50:40 as a creepy motherfucker. First of all, anyone wearing a mask is going to draw some attention. But when you're dressed as a creepy motherfucker you first of all anyone wearing a mask is gonna draw some attention but when you dress as a clown something that like 80 of adults are afraid of clowns we're all afraid of i'm afraid of clowns all right they creep me out that the expressionless mask the the it's a weird individual who does that and you're always hearing about these guys who are going around scaring kids and like like chasing people in the park and trying to be jackasses and these aren't people with a million subscribers who are putting on a show like that I'm okay
Starting point is 00:51:11 with these are people doing it for no fucking reason if you kind of mean spirited like it's terrifying people so if you're out there terrorizing terrifying people if the tables get turned on you I I love it. Especially if I get to watch. Dude, there's going to be so many fucking clowns this Halloween because of it coming out. It's just going to be a clown parade. You don't go to the wrong neighborhood because
Starting point is 00:51:35 two things you know about black people. They think magic is real and they hate clowns. They fucking hate them. Most of the clips you find on YouTube, like find another video. We won't watch the video sitting here, but if you're listening to this,
Starting point is 00:51:50 search all the clown beatdown videos. 80% of the time, it's black guys. And that's not to be racist. It's just that these black guys are clearly very afraid. If there's anything we know about black people, it's that it's okay to generalize them. No. I'm not generalizing.
Starting point is 00:52:04 I'm doing a little quick math after watching a few of these videos. 80% of the time. It's okay. generalize them. No! I'm not generalizing. I'm doing a little quick math after watching a few of these videos. It's okay. Put them in a box. Put them in a box, Kyle. They're violent people. They're just beating down clowns or something, apparently. Someone needs to stand up for the rest of us, alright?
Starting point is 00:52:19 You know what? If I saw someone... They're sheepdogs. This is honestly like, you know that experiment they've done where they show a couple in public and they'll have the male actor shove the woman and always a bunch of people run in to make sure it's okay. And then other times they'll have the woman slap the guy or push him or something and everybody just laughs and ignores it. That's how I feel about if I saw a clown getting assaulted.
Starting point is 00:52:43 If I'm walking down the street and there's someone being assaulted, I'd like to believe I'd try and help as long as the guy doesn't have a gun. I'm not going to die for it. But if it's a clown getting beaten up, my first instinct is like, what the fuck did you do to deserve this? Look at how you're dressed. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
Starting point is 00:52:58 You're dressed like a clown asking for it at least a little. You're dressed as a clown. I have no – I'm not helping you i'm not assisting you like like until they start like crucifying you or something crazy like i'm not first they came for the clowns and i didn't come yeah because i'm not yeah the clowns and it was okay because they didn't want anyone else i mean there is a little bit of a sliding curve there though too it's like okay you dress as a clown okay you might get punched you might get beat up or something but i mean getting the firearm pulled on you it's like you're not holding up a bank or anything now there was that thing where the
Starting point is 00:53:36 clowns were like going around in the woods doing crazy stuff or like is that ever true crime or something i don't i don't know i don't. I'm just making it up. The idea that there were real life zombies was popular for a while after the bath salts, dude. I read that article last week where that sheriff's department so basically like a kid beat up a clown with his selfie stick and the clown fled and the
Starting point is 00:53:58 sheriff's department's reaction was, listen if you're out there dressed as a clown we will not be there to help you. And if your victims defend themselves, we will, you know, that's just what happens when you go around terrorizing people dressed as a clown. Jim Bob's party service was shit and a brick. That was the sheriff's department's reaction.
Starting point is 00:54:18 Like, it's fucked up. But sheriff's departments get fooled. And I have experience with it. So back when the internet was young and it was like fun to get an email, my mother-in-law who worked at a sheriff's department forwarded a warning to Jackie
Starting point is 00:54:34 and I. And it was that when you drive, gangs are choosing who their next victim is by driving around with their high beams. And if you high beam them back as like a signal like, hey bro, your high beams are on, they choose you to die.
Starting point is 00:54:50 So just don't high beam people. Just not in your area. I don't think it's true. I don't think that's... That seems like a foreword from grandma kind of thing. Like where I would get a text and my grandma would be like, you know, those bath salts are real dangerous. You need to be careful in college.
Starting point is 00:55:05 It doesn't make any sense that that's how they choose their victim. It's a gang initiation thing. That's not true. Because they want someone who will kill an innocent. That's what it is. But they can choose innocents in so much better ways than someone driving in a car. No, because then we get to drive around on this crazy testosterone-fueled joyride murdering innocents. Yeah, that's a whole thing. If you believe that for real, you are a silly head.
Starting point is 00:55:29 Come on, cheers. No, no, no. It's a real thing. It's a real thing. I don't know about the headlight thing, but it is something for gang initiation where they'll say, like, all right, if you want to be, if it's like a real deal fucking gang, they'll, like, pick someone at random, and you have to kill them to show that, like, you're in deep with them now, and now you're part of their gang. their gang i just watched this obviously i'm not basing this on the movie but
Starting point is 00:55:47 there's a movie on netflix i literally watched last night called death sentence got kevin bacon and john goodman in it and it's about precisely that where you know the whole town couldn't dance uh yeah i watched it i thought it was good chiz but i think you guys would like it too the so look i do understand that gang initiations are a real thing. I couldn't tell you if they all do it or what the scoop is. But I do know that it's a real thing. I just think the whole don't tell someone their high beams is on is completely made up. Yeah, that doesn't make any sense.
Starting point is 00:56:17 The only time I flash my high beams at people is if I'm driving and there's a cop. And I notice the cop and there's someone coming towards me. and I flash the high beams to show there's a cop there. You rat bastard. Oh, no. One rat. Wait, wait. He's the opposite of a rat, right? I'm letting them know there's a cop there.
Starting point is 00:56:34 Rats are the people who tell the cop. See, no. See, see. You're on the side of the law, Richard, and we're not okay with you punks. We're on the side of the criminals and we warn people that cops are coming. That car thing, the high beam, I've not discovered. I knew about it before,
Starting point is 00:56:51 but I've been binge watching a YouTuber named Doug DeMauro, something very close to that, and he does car reviews, really fun car reviews. Most car reviews are really aimed at helping you make purchasing decisions. His are aimed at telling you about interesting cars. so the cars you don't see every day cars that aren't in america cars that are really high end because they cost like six digits or even more and uh it got me looking for a car because it's like all these interesting cars it's like i kind of want one too and then
Starting point is 00:57:23 they've raised interesting questions. Anyway, I started looking at Ford Explorers now. The high beams turn on and off automatically. So if you're driving in the dark, it just rocks high beams all the time. When another car comes, it lowers them. And it sounds like a small thing. It seems like you should be choosing a car based on the longevity of its transmission or something like that. But that's a killer feature.
Starting point is 00:57:45 There are a lot of killer features. Cars that hold their lane and then have cruise control based on the one in front of you drive in traffic by themselves. Like, for real. They drive in traffic. My car is from 2003. These things are all amazing to me. I feel like modern tech in a car is...
Starting point is 00:58:03 I didn't realize how much I wanted that. But these are normal. Cars come – now, ventilated seats or air-conditioned seats seems like an amazing thing. And I live in North Carolina, so it's something we'd really like here. They have massage seats in cars? Oh, that can't be safe. That's going to put people to sleep while they're driving. Who met?
Starting point is 00:58:23 In all seriousness. It holds you in lane and stops when cars stop in front of you. You're cool. It's practically self-driving. Oh, man. I've been casually picking out my next car from 2013. That's nearly five years now. People get new cars in five years.
Starting point is 00:58:44 That's my shopping period. I don't know. Well, you've taken enough time off from not buying a new car that you should be able to rationalize any and all features in whatever model you want. Like, it's not like every five years you were buying new shit. Like, you've waited since – you got that in 2003, right? Yes. Like, you got it when I was, like, fucking 13. Like, you deserve a new car.
Starting point is 00:59:07 Right? You can pick whatever you want. A car or a truck? Probably truck. Probably truck. So the F-150 has literally every single one of those features you just said, from the air-conditioned heated seats, lane assist, adaptive cruise control, dual moon roofs. seats lane assist adaptive cruise control dual moon roofs they even have sync in their sync 3 system with the ford uh ford app you can remote start remote unlock via your cell phone anywhere
Starting point is 00:59:35 in the world that has cell phone or wi-fi service so if you know someone needs to get your vehicle or you just want to start it while you're out of town, things along those lines, it's really handy. We're living in the future. It's pretty cool. Meanwhile, my car is about 15 years old, and it has a tire that goes flat every week, so I have to keep putting more air in it. Oh, come on, Woody. That's good, man.
Starting point is 00:59:57 That's good. That's what you want. You're a fan of me. One of the biggest problems is that my wife's car, it's not older, but it has all the miles. I have like 160,000 miles because I don't drive that much anymore. And she's just coming on a quarter million. She'll be there probably this year.
Starting point is 01:00:15 And so clearly she's next in line for the car, which like Kyle said, if I want a new car, I really have to get a pair. Get yourself two cars. I use the 360 camera all the time. All the time. I parked the truck in 2015. Really?
Starting point is 01:00:32 No, has it given you trouble? The 2015 was, people don't know. I'm an idiot. I always get the freaking. The F-150 came out with the aluminum sides, and it was a major upgrade. They do big upgrades maybe five years or so but the 2015 in particular was all new has it given you problems because sometimes they say first year it's just the exactly what you were going to say the first year i i'm an
Starting point is 01:00:57 idiot i bought like a 2000 uh i think it was was it the 2004 5.4 liter Triton V8, and arguably one of the worst engines ever. And that's the one I shot in all those videos because the cost of replacing the engine or fixing it was going to be like $8,000 to $12,000. It's like the truck's only worth like $5,000. I paid $13,500. Five grand.
Starting point is 01:01:21 Oh, look at Mr. Hotshot over there. What? Mind-blowing. I'm sure. Oh, what it was worth? five five grand oh look at mr hot shot over there what mine's oh yeah literally worth fifteen hundred dollars maybe if i get the tire fixed it is your pressure washer is worth more than your car that's at the peak so well i actually got more instead of just parting it out i just made the videos uh just destroying it and everything i was like okay it's a relatively new looking truck and everything and
Starting point is 01:01:51 i can have some fun that was i say i worked really hard to save up money for that one but uh so that was one of the hardest series of videos i ever did but the 2015 uh it doesn't mean nearly as much to me as like the truck that I busted my ass for. But the creature comfort features, it's hilarious. Matt Best just got one. Evan, our CEO, got one. And they're all identical to mine. So for the 2017s, they're like black and they're like exactly the same.
Starting point is 01:02:26 But they have sync 3 and I have sync 2. I can't do that the app related features whenever I ended up doing a series with the veterinarian dude right no that's my character okay I know Matt best was a Raymer Raymer Ranger and army GRS contractor for the CIA. He's our brand manager at the coffee company, one of the founders. Okay, I thought I knew him. Of Article 15 clothing. Yeah, so you'd recognize him. Okay.
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Starting point is 01:04:23 free shipping today yes check them out smartmouth.com as you guys know i use it every day my breath is always fantastic and i bet i bet it would have taken care of that rotted tooth smell that kyle had been sporting for a while until last week it would have unstoppable force there that's what it would have been but it would have been. But it would have. Like, Kyle, you wouldn't have got that wonderful dentist experience if you'd been using SmartMouth
Starting point is 01:04:50 because you wouldn't have minded that people weren't smelling your dentist. What does it do? Do you know? Yeah, so it's two liquids in the same bottle and they combine. Like Tannerite. Yeah, like epoxy or Tannerite.
Starting point is 01:05:03 Oh, bite. And there's active zinc in there. And so then the zinc, yeah, you can see hisannerite. And there's active zinc in there. And so then the zinc, yeah, you can see his nasty tooth. So the zinc, when you pour it, attaches to bacterial protein receptors to keep the bacteria from consuming protein and giving off sulfur gas. So, you know, if you just kill all the germs, the germs repopulate real quick and your bad breath will be back in like an hour. But if you keep them from eating protein, then you're effectively not allowing them to eat and so you're not producing any more sulfur gas in your mouth not getting that horrible smell all right here we go again a great product here we go again you guys you guys got another fucking another sponsor and i kid you not it's it's perfect
Starting point is 01:05:37 right because so i i waited for a really long time because anytime I hear someone really talk about something like CrossFit or whatever, people get so passionate about certain things that it kind of turns me off of them. And the ketogenic diet was one of them. And here in the last three weeks, I've been extremely strict. That's actually what I've been freaking chewing on cheese this whole time, right? So I've been on keto for like three or four weeks now. It's awful.
Starting point is 01:06:10 Awful. And that's what those breast strips are for, right? How much cheese did you eat, Charlie? A whole block? A whole block of cheese? But the ketone breast strips and things like that because the byproduct of that is bad breath and things along those lines.
Starting point is 01:06:29 Now, I can't say enough good stuff about the diet, but you want like 60%, 70% fat and then like ballpark 30% protein and maybe 5%-ish carbs. And my brain has been on fire like no joke there's nothing in my life that i've ever done far as physical activity or diet or anything that's had this much of a drastic effect on me can i ask how strict have you been like how perfect are you at this thing like so i did a keto inspired diet but i sometimes have like chicken and mixed vegetables. And I know carrots are like deadly off limits, but they're in the mixed vegetable package we buy. Uh, I used to eat tomatoes. I know they're off limits. Like, are you better than that? Yeah. Chicken and vegetables doesn't even, it sounds, that sounds more whole 30 than the keto. Cause, um, you want
Starting point is 01:07:20 60, but it was, so the thing is, is you don't want too much protein. That's the big mistake a lot of people make is they'll do like 60 protein, 30 fat, and you want to be like 60% fat. You want heavy fat intake, and it's hard. It's like extremely hard to get that much fat in your diet. If you've got that keto dragon breath that's horrible, give me your address after the show, and I'll get some of that stuff sent to you. Please. Is that stuff like not even bullshitting sponsor like i tell you this after the show like it's excellent and like i used to use like the ad said some sort of like minty stuff that like burns and you're like oh yeah this is fresh but you know half an hour later you're kind of normal
Starting point is 01:08:00 again i can eat onions and like a cassero or something, and then I've got that horrible taste in my mouth, but I hit it with that smart mouth, and it really does kind of neutralize it in a chemical kind of way, where it's just fresh breath. It's excellent. I got a dentist appointment on Tuesday. Tell me more about your diet.
Starting point is 01:08:19 I do, too. So does Chiz. We all have a dentist appointment on Tuesday? Tuesday. Chiz is getting a dentist appointment on Tuesday? Tuesday. Chiz is getting a root canal on Tuesday. This is like the most minor coincidence ever, but isn't that kind of weird? Me, Richard, and Chiz all have a dentist
Starting point is 01:08:35 appointment on Halloween. They send text updates. I just got it. Just like seconds ago? I put my phone on silent before the podcast, but it was like an I just got it. Just seconds ago? Well, I put my phone on silent before the podcast, but it was like an hour and ten minutes ago.
Starting point is 01:08:55 Guys, the season is here for spooky things and coincidences. Getting your chompers ready for Halloween candy. So what are you eating? Okay. So I'm able to cheat, which is great, because I know a lot of people can't do this, but one of the guys in our IT department, his wife is a nutritionist. where I'd make out the broccoli sprouts, avocado, and try to plan out as much of the meals as I could for the week. But his wife makes meals for all of us at the office and everything too who want to be on the keto diet. And so it's all over the place. She's getting really creative with it too.
Starting point is 01:09:43 She made a keto bagel base with a fried egg, cheese, and sausage and everything along those lines. But there was bagel in it? No, no, no. I think it's almond flour or something along those lines. I'm completely ignorant to a lot of that stuff. I just know that I cut sugar out and that's something that's extremely hard for me because I'm all about chocolate, milk chocolate and things along those lines. Cut that out. I cut sodas out a long time ago. The only time I drink sodas is whenever
Starting point is 01:10:16 I would have like Jack and Coke. That was like my go-to. I've got a chocolate soda here that's what i'm drinking yeah and so the thing is is so i went to tripwire operations group and we did some stuff with some military working dogs out there and i had the decoy bite sleeve on and everything and and i'm i'm working with the dogs and we're doing like the slow-mo footage and i'm looking i'm like oh fuck man I've got love handles like crazy like like I've just been because I there's this place in Nashville um called the jam arguably one of my favorite coffee shops I love just going to the coffee shops and just trying what it is that they they're proud of right and they I swear that if they told me they put cocaine or something in there it wouldn't surprise me.
Starting point is 01:11:05 It was – they call it the white gold. It was like a Godiva white chocolate, tons and tons of sugar. So I'm getting two shots of espresso. And before I ended up leaving Nashville, I was drinking like two or three of those a day. So I was probably getting that kind of Starbucks, you know, 1,500- intake of, of liquid beverages. And so I was like, I got to cut this out. I'm going straight keto. I know that a fourth quarter is going to be crazy. Uh, I wanted to try this for a long time. And, and I, you know, I didn't really get the keto flu. I did have like migraines or whatever for a few days, but man, the cognitive function is just insane. It's so
Starting point is 01:11:46 crazy. Cheese, avocados, MCT oil, all of that stuff goes a long way for making sure that you get a lot of fat in your diet. But I think the pitfall that I've read on a lot of forums is that people put too much protein in their diet and not enough fat. They're focusing more on like a whole 30 with low carbs and not necessarily high fat. What's like the physical progress you're at right now? Like how many pounds are you down in the amount of time? 25 pounds. That's great.
Starting point is 01:12:15 Are you still trying to lose now? Or are you kind of at where you want to be? It was about, well, three weeks. Wow. 25 pounds in three weeks? I lost that in six, well, 22 pounds in six months.
Starting point is 01:12:28 That's my – that's kind of like my MO. I can get up to 225, 230 pretty easy with sugar and water. I can carb up and bloat pretty easy. I mean, 6'3". But right now, that 203, 202, it's hard for me to dip under 200. So I'm kind of
Starting point is 01:12:51 at that leveling point and everything. But I really caution people, hey, make sure you go into forums and you talk with a bunch of people and make sure you do it right. The last thing you want to do I, I screwed up one point. I had some tortilla chips because we, we had a heavy shoot schedule and I was like, oh,
Starting point is 01:13:14 that's crap. There's nothing here to eat or whatever. All right. I'll, I ate 14 tortilla chips. The next day I was ravenously starving. Like my, my stomach was like, you need to eat. You need to eat, dude. And I was like, what is going on? I am like a crackhead running around right now wanting to get food. And it's like, all right, suck it up. Yeah. I can't do that.
Starting point is 01:13:36 So many of my favorite things are just shitty for you and part of an anti that diet. All of the best things are carbs. I got the solution, though. I got the solution, though. So your brain starts going on these different things. So, have you had Parmesan cheese crisps? Yeah, not a big fan. I like them.
Starting point is 01:13:53 Well, so I love them. And so, again, cheese breath is a big problem on that. Parmesan cheese crisps, if anybody's listening to this and they know how to do this or whatever, if you can buy them somewhere, let me know. Because being able to make taco shells out of Parmesan cheese crisps and putting the taco meat and then cheese and lettuce and everything on there would be so good. So good. And then that's keto because you're getting all the fat and you're getting a little bit of protein in there and really no carbs. But what if I want to dip Doritos in salsa?
Starting point is 01:14:30 Because that's what I want to do. That's what I do. I like to get the spicy nacho Doritos. I ate an entire family-sized bag of those the other night. And the whole can of queso. I ate the whole can of queso. I microwaved the can to get every last bit out of it can you can you settle this like people hear about your diet
Starting point is 01:14:52 and say like okay that must have been the only thing he ate that week you know a whole thing of this or a whole thing of that that he's doing this thing where he eats one big meal but if you followed him around you discover that was the one thing he ate in three days, and that's why it makes sense that you're not fat. I'll keep a journal this week, and I'll add it all up. That's a good idea. Yesterday, I got the Chips Ahoy Chunky cookies.
Starting point is 01:15:17 They're so fucking good. I ate half a bag of those yesterday, two full cups of milk, three cups of coffee, and I only put like a teaspoon of sugar in my coffee because i don't like coffee sweet at all but i do you know put a dollop of milk in there uh i ate that bag of doritos the whole bag i had half a box of um what are those cheese uh it's those uh it's one of those things i showed you taylor the the ritz bits yeah the Ritz bit so they're little they're they're two miniature Ritz's with like fake cheese in the middle
Starting point is 01:15:49 I ate I finished off that bag of those yesterday I drink two or three of these a day now these Starbucks vitamin and anything you've listed I don't eat by the time eating that for you. I really think you do have a fast metabolism. I'm not done. I'm not done. I went to Hardee's. I went to Hardee's on the way back, and I got their quarter-pound thick burger with a large fry and a large cherry Coke. So that was yesterday.
Starting point is 01:16:17 Oh, no, no, no, no. For breakfast, I've added breakfast into my routine now. I never used to eat breakfast, but Kitty introduced me to this British jam called From Wilkins and Sons, and it's like the highest quality strawberry preserves. There's like chunks of strawberry in there, but no seeds somehow. And I eat four pieces of toast and a cup of coffee for breakfast, and I take two big spoonfuls of the strawberry jam and about a tablespoon of butter, and I microwave it until it's all the same consistency and I smear that all over the toast. So I had that for breakfast.
Starting point is 01:16:49 That was yesterday. Okay, so Inexplicable. That's kind of like you were grazing all day it sounds like. But today I haven't eaten. Today I haven't eaten a single thing and I worked six hours today with a pressure washer.
Starting point is 01:17:08 That's not high-calorie burning exercise. No, but it's active. It's my arms moving all day, and my forearms are a little sore from just doing this. So I haven't eaten today other than literally this drink and my cup of coffee. Oh, wait. Did I eat? I had four pieces of toast with a jam this morning, actually. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:17:24 The way to start your day, four pieces of toast and butter jam this morning, actually. Yeah. Yeah. The way to start your day, four pieces of toast and butter jam. Oh, that butter jam. Oh, I got some peach jam from some Amish peach preserves. That's tomorrow morning. I'm going with the peach preserves tomorrow. Do you ever complain to Kitty of your toes feeling numb or anything like that? I don't complain. You just give it an old.
Starting point is 01:17:45 I'm having a hard time losing weight while being so sedentary. I guess if it's Whole30, I don't know my diets that well, but I just eat clean. I try to eat clean. Richard might not know. I broke my leg in three places two months ago. So I don't do as much as I used to.
Starting point is 01:18:03 Paramotoring? But he's back to recovered basically at this point paragliding i was learning to paraglide out west and uh in fast forward the wind was coming up the hill it's like a venturi effect so it's like a big bowl that collects wind and then it goes real fast at the point you launch and it pulled me up about 20 feet and my body position was crazy because imagine you're on a swing set and someone yanked you up right now you're kind of weightless and like trying to sort it out and my toe landed and then twisted backwards like toward my butt
Starting point is 01:18:35 and it broke in three places and i've been going to physical therapy and healing and stuff but screws in his leg yeah i've got screws in my leg and a plate and stuff that's coming out monday some of it so keep them like that's the biggest thing doctor to put you on some like hgh trt we're doing prp but they weren't really down with the steroids and i even like pushed it there i was like you know about steroids how about this how can we do and he's like no no no you don't want any of that you know it's not what you're looking for. And I was like, no one's testing me. It's all good. And then I had the idea, well, maybe I'll just go on my own and self-medicate, right? Like just look at the list of shit UFC fighters get busted for and take that because it must be okay.
Starting point is 01:19:17 Yeah, well, see, I'm not really sold. No, you see, the thing, like I would say a lot offc fighters i can't really speak to every case but uh i guess specifically here lately the thing has been that uh the guys will take stuff that's old that's like old school stuff that they're not really testing for anymore and then they'll use that whereas like the stuff that's actually kind of cutting edge yeah cutting edge or program specific they're testing for it they're testing for it it's it's in there so it's like i don't know i don't know you you could probably talk to a few whatever anderson silva got busted for after he broke his leg must be a good choice right penis pills
Starting point is 01:19:56 everyone says dick pills yeah i feel like you're not saying the right things to your doctors like are you okay with them about this like are you grabbing his arm saying hey look you know what i think i'm not i think what happens is i ask he says no and then i almost joke like hey bro no no that's a mistake so like like it's not what you say it's how you say it so when you ask for this stuff you gotta be like no but seriously i've been doing a lot of research about this. I really want to go on this testosterone replacement therapy. I think it would help me. And then, you know, give him some reasons. Convince him.
Starting point is 01:20:31 I think I would have a better relationship with my wife. I think I would have more energy for work. I think this healing process would be faster. I think that this one small thing would exponentially increase the quality of my life. I'm willing to go through the liver testing and the blood testing or whatever's required.
Starting point is 01:20:52 Come on, let's do it. TRTs. And then you sort of throw this out there that maybe you'll find in your doctor. You say, I want to do this with you. And then just leave it laying out there standpoint just leave it laying out there i want to do this with you and then let it let it sit that's actually a pretty good idea and then wink at him just what are you saying sir wink at him and touch his leg just i can't i find myself crying every few minutes. I think I've looked up estrogen, and I think I've got a really high level of stock.
Starting point is 01:21:29 You got to help. Just do something really emotional, maybe. If you start openly weeping, he'll be like, oh, this guy's testosterone is out of whack. Yeah, because he'll be like, do you want to see me try and get an erection? It's pathetic. Look at this.
Starting point is 01:21:44 Look at this. I want to love my wife, but it's just pushing rope every night. He's going to give you a Tialis. Two sides of the same coin. Dick kills apparently do the trick. Yeah, we are doing PRP, which is like, I don't know if it's literally stem cells or what. What they do, if I understand it right, they take your blood from some other part of your body,
Starting point is 01:22:09 remove all the things that don't have to do with healing ligaments, tendon, and bone, and then put that concentrated solution in the spot that needs it, which in my case is my ankle, lower leg. It's supposed to make that area heal much faster. Joe Lozon told me to do it. He's like, you got to ask yourself. Oh, so is that where they heat it up in the centrifuge or whatever? There is a centrifuge involved.
Starting point is 01:22:31 We've exhausted my expertise, but Joe was like, you got to do this. People are having great luck with it. Joe Lozon, the UFC fighter, of course, not only does he get injured like all fighters do, but he lives in a world filled with people who get injured. He's an expert in injury recovery, like they all are. And as soon as he found out I got hurt, he reached out to me and kind of like set my head straight on like how to go about healing, which I'm so grateful for. It had a big impact on me. But PRP has just been legalized, I guess you'd say, by the UFC. Like it's just been made okay for those fighters and people are having good luck with it. uh he thinks that I should do that so I mentioned it to my doctor actually the doctor's
Starting point is 01:23:09 physician assistant and I'm like you know dude how do we feel about TRT and he's not a family how do we feel about PRP he's like I love it I did my thesis on that and he's uh so that we're gonna do it on Monday oh nice yeah I'd be interested to hear how it goes. And I love that Joe Lozon who deals out all of these fight of the night bonuses just on breaking people down. He's like, hey, bro, sorry I knocked you out, but
Starting point is 01:23:35 check this PRP thing out. It'll definitely help you out in the process. Man, the next UFC card is fucking excellent. November 4th. Yeah. November 4th. It's not this coming Saturday, but the one after that.
Starting point is 01:23:51 It's Cody Garbrandt is fighting TJ Dillashaw. That's going to be a big fight. Cody says win, lose, or draw. He's going to drop down to 125 and take on DJ after this. Excited for both of those fights. You've got Rose Namagumas or whatever the fuck fighting Jaycheck. That's a huge fight. That stare down was pretty cool.
Starting point is 01:24:14 Jaycheck is like, I'm going to fuck you up. And Rose is just like a zombie just like looking through her. Dude, so Joanna Jacek. Joanna. Joanna. Gosh, I'm sorry. Anyway. Joanna Jacek. Yeah, Joanna. Joanna. Gosh, I'm sorry. Anyway. Joanna Jacek.
Starting point is 01:24:31 She's talking to Rose Namajunas. And names are not my thing. And she goes, look, you're weak. You have mental problems. And I will break you. And they interview Rose afterwards. And she's like, yeah, I've always had mental problems. Like, my dad did. Like, she's just like, yeah,
Starting point is 01:24:51 it was really inconsiderate of her to say that because, you know, mental health has been something I struggled with, like, for a really long time. And it's like, holy shit, this got cold. It got real. Like, yeah, so, and she's really nice. I've liked Rose Namahumas since before she got in the ufc she has a youtube channel called hyper die and she's dating a guy named pat barry i don't know
Starting point is 01:25:11 if they're engaged or married or what but they're they're a couple pat barry was a ufc starish and i really like him and them as a couple they just want good things for them and uh so yeah i'm totally excited she's getting her shot at the belt and she's real as fuck like yeah i think i think she's gonna lose like like we can like like i'm looking at the card right now uh so wonder boy big rig um that's wonder boy i don't think big well those are different fights right wonder boy's fighting uh masvidal uh big rigig's fighting that Bora Chinha guy or whatever. But I don't know if Hendrix can even make fucking weight. I'll be surprised if he makes weight.
Starting point is 01:25:49 He does not look like it. 185, right? Yeah. Yeah. He still misses that. It's weird. He looks chunky. Bisping, I think, knocks GSP out.
Starting point is 01:26:00 I'm going to call that now. Woody and I have a $5 bet on this. Yeah. I think garbrandt takes out wins wins against dillashaw it's just a win there's no knockout involved right i just picked him yeah there's no that's not specified but but okay but my personal opinion is it is a knockout i think he knocks him out um i think that uh jay check beaked rose i would prefer for rose to win because i i followed her youtube a bit, too. I like her videos.
Starting point is 01:26:27 Are you guys looking at the UFC schedule page? I'm looking at the card right now, yeah. I'm looking at it, and I'm thinking maybe they could have waited for GSP's erection to settle down before they took the picture of him. Look at that fat cock head he's got there. Jesus Christ, bro. Blur that out. Tuck it down or something. This is the guy who pops it up instead of folding it down. you've got there. Jesus Christ, bro. Blur that out. You can see his penis. This is the guy who pops it up instead of folding it down.
Starting point is 01:26:50 This is not a good look. Wear some black trunks. At least Bisping was kind enough to put the belt in front of his dong. Who flips their penis up when they're walking around? What kind of jackass does that? Especially like, oh, wait a second. cameras coming let's go you know it's
Starting point is 01:27:09 grace we all perform I will say though GSP's body does not like anything like GSP's body used to now he's eat for people don't know that's a real pick he's gonna pick he's going up a weight class so he's going from 171 85 15 pounds he's not gonna look the same but that chest i mean you hate that it happens but even a fit older guy's chest doesn't look like a fit younger guy's chest and he has to me like an old man chest and he's gonna get fucked up i think he wins he's gonna get fucked up um but but i think that uh jay check beats uh rose i would prefer for rose to win but i i just think that's the reality of the thing jay check's too fucking good um
Starting point is 01:27:51 thompson's gonna win his fight i think thompson's style with that fucking sport karate stance and maintaining the distance is just just it's hard to beat that style Masvidal has he's a striker. He's the guy that I think he's the guy I'm thinking of. He was in like a backyard fight that was on Kimbo's YouTube channel or something. But he's a really
Starting point is 01:28:18 good striker. He's technical. He made Cowboy Cerrone look like he was sloppy. In my head, that lifted you know what i think of him so uh i i think mass fidel beats thompson i don't know how but i don't i don't think you can beat thompson i don't unless you're tyron and you dance with him for five rounds that oh that oh that fight i i saw the on. I saw on the USC subreddit, they showed, they were like,
Starting point is 01:28:48 Tyron Woodley, like, I wish I could remember how they phrased it. It was like, Tyron Woodley and Wonderboy, like, go at it. And the clip was them just maintaining five feet of distance between each other and dancing around for 30 seconds. Such a terrible fight.
Starting point is 01:29:07 Oh, my God. Somebody please beat Woodley. Like, he does that every fight. Tyron sucks. He looks like an action figure. He fights like a pussy. He just, just, just get in there and brawl. Like, win some fans.
Starting point is 01:29:20 And I love that Dana White just doesn't give a shit enough to go out there and be like who wants to see tyron woodley fight after this that's that's literally what he said after the championship fight like yeah good on you he said it again recently and it like he's a promoter and i i don't know what to make of that right if i'm tyron woodley i'm like dude your job is to promote me i'm i'm you know doing it but. But if you're Dana, you're like, well, I'll fucking promote you when you're worth it. Your job is to put on entertaining fights. I like that. Your job, I'll do mine.
Starting point is 01:29:51 Once he's won, it's Dana's job to get hyped for that fight, right? Like, it would be like if, you know, the commissioner of the NFL, they're like, oh, it's going to be another Patriots, you know, Super Bowl. And then they get knocked out and they're like, oh, why even watch this one? Like, this is going to be stupid. That's just what it's going to be another Patriots Super Bowl, and then they get knocked out, and they're like, oh, why even watch this one? This is going to be stupid. That's just what it's like. Yeah, or some team doesn't pass enough, and he's like, oh, it's so boring to watch the Rams play. I respect the honesty, though.
Starting point is 01:30:15 Dana lies a lot, but he usually lies about business shit. Is it really lying, or is it promoting? He lies. Promoting. He lies a lot about like what fights have been put together what he says to a person behind the scenes or he lies about how much people are getting paid or if they've been paid on time he lies about anything and everything to make himself and the company oftentimes he'll tell lies about a fighter to like make that fighter
Starting point is 01:30:41 look bad you know for example like like don't know, if fighter A is scheduled to fight fighter B, and fighter B pulls out and they put C in, so they're like, fighter A didn't want to fight C. And then fighter A comes out and like,
Starting point is 01:30:54 dude, they cut my pay by two thirds. That's why I didn't want to fight C. I wasn't scared of him. They were just fucking me over on the contract. But they say it like, oh, he didn't want a fight seat.
Starting point is 01:31:05 Yeah, because I'm a pro. I fight for money. But you're making it look like I was scared. Yeah, pay me my rate. And that's the kind of thing Dana lies about anyway. So I know we're looking – this is looking past the next UFC event. But I think – I love Cody Garbrandt. I like his fighting style.
Starting point is 01:31:23 I don't know too much about him personally. I think you've said that maybe he's a jerk personally. I don't know anything about that. I know he comes out with that cancer kid, and to me that's a real shield against any accusations of him being a jerk because he's always got that poor little kid with the leukemia head, and he's just putting the belt on him and shit. Garbrandt and Dillashaw did an Ultimate Fighter together,
Starting point is 01:31:44 and Garbrandt came off like a real bullying douchebag. And every time Dillashaw, like he's almost, Dillashaw is a meathead too, but he looks intellectual compared to Garbrandt. And Garbrandt's just always wanting to fight like over nothing.
Starting point is 01:32:00 Over nothing. And like Reality show. Well, Dillashaw'saw just like i don't even understand you want to fight in the bleak like we have a scheduled fight what do you want to just fight every day up until the scheduled like this doesn't make any sense i can't comprehend why you want to fight right now ratings okay i think if you watched it you would not see any chess going on in garbrandt's head you would see a fucking animal mad dog yeah mad dog who attacks chickens for no reason no it's not he's an idiot okay i saw him and dominic cruz fight that's a character dominic cruz and garbrandt
Starting point is 01:32:43 fight they do all these interviews on dominic cru, in my head anyway, is a really sharp guy. He's a great speaker, and he makes these arguments that are difficult to counter. And then Garbrandt, on the other hand, was just like, me punch you so hard, I can't wait. I like it. So, yeah. Who do you think is going to win the fight then? You think Dillashaw?
Starting point is 01:33:03 I'm with Garbrandt 100%. I think he's too fucking fast, too fucking technical. He's a beast. I love watching him fight. I'll split that into two questions. I want Dillashaw to win because I like him a little more, but I predict Garbrandt wins because he's just an animal right now. Okay, so then step two, Garbrandt is going to fight Mighty Mouse.
Starting point is 01:33:22 He's going to fight Demetrius Johnson after this, going down to 125 pounds, which I don't know if he's ever Mighty Mouse. He's going to fight Demetrius Johnson after this, going down to 125 pounds, which I don't know if he's ever done that. He seems confident that he can. Who wins that fight? DJ by a mile. I'm sticking with Cody. DJ beats...
Starting point is 01:33:37 I hope that fight happens. How much does Cody weigh normally? 135 is where he fights. And he has to get to 125? Yeah. That doesn't seem... Or I guess 10 pounds is a lot if you only weigh 135. That's a very small person. He's probably walking around 148 or something. I thought I read
Starting point is 01:33:54 that he fought at 125 another time in his career. I don't know, but either way, regardless, I'm excited about all of that. And it's a great card. DJ might finally get his pay-per-view money. If people don't know,
Starting point is 01:34:11 Demetrius Johnson, the guy we're calling DJ. That's Mighty Mouse, right? Jackie needs me for something. I'll just put it there. Yeah, take it, Kyle. I'll be right back. Yeah, the last fight, I think DJ got pay-per-view points. I don't know if they paid him.
Starting point is 01:34:27 UFC's kind of shitty in that regard sometimes. Yeah. Well, I tell you that TJ Dillashaw-Borow fight is arguably one of my favorite fights to watch of all time. He was just so perfect in that. I mean, everything about his performance that night was just insanely on. Like, his movement, his striking, everything
Starting point is 01:34:50 about it was just really well executed. I heard that um, what's the fucking Russian shithead's name? Tiramisu. Nurmagomedov. Oh, yeah. Habib Nurmagomedov is supposed to fight in December. I don't know if he's got enough money yet. Habib Nurmagomedov. Habib Nurmagomedov. Habib Nurmagomedov is supposed to fight in December. I don't know if he's got enough money yet.
Starting point is 01:35:06 Habib Nurmagomedov. You're pretty good with these. I've got Woody to counterbalance me, so somebody's got to be able to get the names 80 or 90% right. But Habib Nurmagomedov, he's unbeaten. He's 24-0 I think. A lot of his wins are hollow wins or like, you know, bullshit wins. But he's beaten several quality opponents and everybody's been talking like he's Conor McGregor's kryptonite forever,
Starting point is 01:35:34 but he's not getting that shot at Conor. Conor's got two or three people to beat up before he gets to Nurmagomedov. But I want to see Khabib fight. It's been like a year and a half or something since he beat up michael johnson so goddamn embarrassingly he punished michael johnson just just put him against the fence and just dropping those elbows and he's like you know i deserve this you know i deserve shot and it's like like michael's like i guess just beating him down so yeah i hope he fights uh fights in december i i keep hearing that he will and i hope connor fights someone i don't care who i i would be fine if connor if gsp beats bisping
Starting point is 01:36:14 i would love to see connor fight gsp and and give the double fingers to the whole division both of them anyone but nate ds that's my take on it. Let him fight Nate. I don't care. I think he can beat Nate. I think that his time all this boxing he's done, he's going to come back with better hands. I think it would be dope to see Nate and Nick on the same card. Nick isn't even
Starting point is 01:36:38 a fighter anymore. Who could Nick fight though that would be a good undercard fight for that? I don't know what weight he fights, to be honest. It's been so long since he's fought. Does he fight at 205 or something? Is he a big guy? I don't remember.
Starting point is 01:36:51 Historically, Nick fought at 170. That's where he fought GSP. But he's been fighting at 185 a little bit lately. That's where he fought Silva. But lately, he hasn't fought at all. Let him fight Silva again. There's your fight. The thing is, people are saying, who follow him on Instagram, that he's lost a bunch of his muscle he stopped doing triathlons
Starting point is 01:37:09 he doesn't train anymore that that he's an ex-fighter he's found people will pay him to go to their clubs and he's just found a way to make money without getting beat up and that's what he does winner yes but i like him on my tv you know it's really about nate's corner that'll be fine with me let him be a corner man over there that i'd be good with that maybe the guy's face is looking shitty right like he doesn't need any more beatings neither one of them do really uh i guess i don't know i i i like watching them fight i just wish there was more but you know i wish there was some sort of a like uh a tag team type thing like like i'd like to see like uh nick and nate yeah nick and nate do like attack they alternate rounds or something like that and they fight against like connor and i don't know give Khabib, like Conor and Khabib versus Nick and Nate.
Starting point is 01:38:07 That's the fucking fight I want to see and let them alternate rounds and you never know who's going to come out. That'd be fun. Will they ever do tag teams? Oh no, it's Roy Nelson with the bench. Dave Kontrig. They should do more fun exhibition stuff like that in the UFC.
Starting point is 01:38:25 Like tag team matches, like luchadors. Halloween, they could have all the fighters dress up as whatever their moniker is. Like Mighty Mouse dresses up like whatever a mouse would be. Mighty Mouse is a thing. Why wouldn't he just be him? That's fair. He could just be Mighty Mouse. And then I was going to keep giving examples
Starting point is 01:38:46 and I'm realizing that I don't know any other nicknames of people's fighting aliases. Except for Big Country. This is perfect. Michael Bisping is the count. Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah. How many punches will it take? One! Ah, ah, ah, ah, two!
Starting point is 01:39:03 I'm trying to think. How many years at the end of your life will be less pleasurable because of this profession you've chosen? One! Two! He is Rush, though. I don't know what Rush even is. I like that if you go back and listen to clips of GSP talking about the alien abductions and him seeing UFOs and and stuff it's really bizarre and funny uh there's an there's a whole animated series of him losing time it's it's and i couldn't figure like i feel
Starting point is 01:39:32 like what he's a lot of people hear what he's going through and they say that he's crazy he's punch drunk he's got traumatic brain injuries and stuff like that i heard it and thought he's normal as if i have these things too he's like I drive for a long time and then I'm missing periods of time isn't that normal? if you drive 11 hours on the road that's what the animated thing mocks because he's talking about losing time
Starting point is 01:39:56 when we all lose time like in the animated thing he's having sex and he gets done having sex and the woman's like that was incredibly pleasurable that was that was amazing GSP and he's like oh no a lot of time has passed and I do not remember it and she's like well yeah we're having such a great time having all the sex you know time flies when you're having fun he's like oh no it was the aliens I love taken me again I love that your Montreal accent is
Starting point is 01:40:28 straight from Mexico yeah you can't do that one me? yeah you either do that or you go full on French like I seem to have lost track of time that's pretty good
Starting point is 01:40:43 not do that one and it was when he's driving I seem to have lost track of time that's pretty good yeah and it was you know when he's driving he looks at the clock and time has passed like yeah that's highway hypnosis we all get that I attempt to put myself into that on drives I'm like yeah if I like I'll like I'll try to
Starting point is 01:41:00 instigate this sort of daydream highway hypnosis so that you know 45 minutes literally will sort of disappear from my drive. It's wonderful when that happens. Yeah. Yeah. Well, anyway, amazing card, UFC 217. I look forward to that.
Starting point is 01:41:17 We didn't even cover all of them. I like that Mickey Gall's fighting. I don't know who Brown is. Yeah. Ovin St. Peru? Yeah, he's on the prelims. I'm looking forward to him beating the shit out of whoever he fights i feel like you gotta like if you want to follow
Starting point is 01:41:29 ufc as a sport like the way you guys do i feel like you have to almost like you have to be really close with it because it's not like like the four main professional sports where it's like oh i haven't watched hockey in a few years let me jump back in oh there's still the blues and the hawks and the pens and you know the teams whereas way more like every three episodes i feel like you guys are like oh and you heard about you know uh dark luther this fucking british guy who's coming over you know he's crazy like and i'm like god like is he now the guy to beat like it was a different guy just a week ago the cool thing about ufc versus team sports in a lot of ways is that you are following one athlete. And that's from growing up in, you know, North Georgia and everything, like a little further away than Kyle.
Starting point is 01:42:13 You know, the Falcons were like the big pro team and the Braves. And that's a two hour drive for me. So it was more about college football. And so you follow the college athletes into pro. What's Volunteers doing this year? Yeah. Ugh. So I would watch.
Starting point is 01:42:31 Oh, wait. I think we lost to you guys, so I can't talk shit. I would love to watch Peyton play or watch Eric Berry or any of these guys go off and do what it is that they're doing individually, but it's hard for me to follow a team. So the UFC takes it to an extremely intimate level in that, one, you're fighting and people are picking up new skill sets. It's not like, oh, he shaved a hundredth off of his 40. Now, don't get me wrong. I'm not bashing football. It's just the MMA is just so much more complex and so many different levels far as the skill sets required to be successful. And then you're also following individual
Starting point is 01:43:10 personalities not being traded to teams and stuff like that. So I can't go around saying, hey, I'm a Falcons fan. And then it's like, oh, they just there's nobody on the team that was on there four years ago. So it's like, oh, I like I like the Dirty Birds, but there's really nobody here that I have that kind of relationship with as a fan. And so MMA, for me, in a lot of ways, outside of the fighting, it is kind of like my male soap opera, where it's like I get to keep up what's going on in the teams, who's fighting in what camps, who's training with who, what drama's going on here and everything like that.
Starting point is 01:43:44 But then they actually put it on the mat you know and it's like it just it's extremely gratifying as a viewer to be able to see this whole thing unfold in so many different ways there's so much at risk you know not just your like i mean your face for one thing but also your legacy your wallet like there's a lot on the line every fight. Your brain later in life. Yeah. That applies to football more than anything, probably. Kyle's talked about how he doesn't like the in-person experience for UFC fights,
Starting point is 01:44:12 and he's right. Shitty. But there's a thing, though. On TV, after a guy loses, he's, like, gone, right? You don't even see it. In real life, you're like, oh, that must suck so hard. That's the guy who just lost in front of everybody. And it has huge financial implications, huge career implications. It's embarrassing. I know it happens, right? Like we're like, yeah, we understand. But
Starting point is 01:44:37 to them, they're like, man, I just got my ass kicked in front of everybody. And like, if there's something I like about being in person it's seeing the losers richard talked about that intimacy like just having them walk back to the locker room sometimes getting help back to the locker room it's uh half of the people that fight lose and so it's just not the same you lose a hockey game you know i've had losses in hockey games where it was like well it sucked to lose and everything. I did pretty well. That's a thing that can happen. But fighting, it's not like that.
Starting point is 01:45:12 And half of them walk away. Maybe your cut man is saying that. He's like, oh, I got the shit kicked out of me. But you see the way I stuck him back together. Yeah, right? Well, there's definitely something there, too, in what you're saying. Yeah, right? Well, there's definitely something there, too, in what you're saying.
Starting point is 01:45:30 Like, you know, unless you're Cowboy Cerrone, you're not fighting six times, ten times in a year. You're fighting maybe twice a year. So your camps are a significant amount of time leading up to this one performance. And if you get, like, flash knockout, like, that's a hard pill to swallow. like that's that's that that's a hard pill to swallow right jose aldo fight yeah with all that build up your whole entire nation behind you and connor comes out fucking puts you to fucking sleep and it's don't get me wrong team sports you played little league or whatever it is in school getting up to that point but you are in a lot of ways playing week for week you're training each week for and you have some type of gratification that could come potentially the next week.
Starting point is 01:46:07 It's like, man, there is so much at stake for fighters. And it's just the level of complexity in the game and all the different elements. And it's just, I don't know, as a viewer, it's extremely gratifying to watch, for sure. Let me do an ad read here, tell everyone about Squarespace. This episode of PK is sponsored by our friends
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Starting point is 01:47:32 do that? He's like, who are the website people? I'm like, squarespace.com slash pka. He went. He created the website. He's already gotten one thing off of it. I was texting with him a minute ago. He's a nice guy.
Starting point is 01:47:48 He mowed some stuff for me. He's like, don't even worry about that. You hooked me up with that Squarespace thing. I already got some business from it. I have a topic. I have one more ad read. I'm going to slide in here, tell everyone about the Walking Dead mobile game game for those of you not already playing we'd like to introduce you
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Starting point is 01:48:34 moments from earlier seasons of the TV show, as well as the new hardcore survival mode for experienced players called The Distance. Watch out for new content from the upcoming Season 8 premiere at the end of October, coming up very soon now. Can you survive and
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Starting point is 01:49:08 Get Negan for free. There's a link down in the description. Yeah, make that happen. That's probably the one character. That's the character I want for free. Because he's my favorite character in the whole thing. It's annoying when people are like, you tell someone your favorite character from a show or whatever,
Starting point is 01:49:24 and they're like, oh, your favorite character, one of them's Ramsay Bolton, you evil sadist. And it's like, no, he's one of my favorites because every time that dude comes on screen, if you're watching in a group, everybody shuts up and you're glued. You're glued to the screen to see what that guy's going to do. Same thing with Joffrey in the early seasons. You are glued. When Negan comes on screen in Walking Dead, like, I'm glued to it. Like, Michonne or whatever, like, if she comes on or, you on or one of the gang or whatever, I might not be 100% engaged. But when Negan, you've got to pay attention.
Starting point is 01:49:56 He's charismatic as fuck. I think Jeffrey Dean Morgan is the actor's name. He comes in, I did fucking die. What do we have here? Looks like Rick's done got me a bunch of shit. Oh, boy. He's just like all animated and looking around. And I can just imagine being in that crowd and being terrified that he's going to look over at you and be like, what are you doing here?
Starting point is 01:50:21 Fat boy looking mighty big for the zombie apocalypse. How'd you like pokey in the belly with the bat how'd you get so big you know he's like the opposite of santa where he comes around in a jolly mood to see what you've got to give him you know man and uh like like he's like he's my favorite my favorite character in that show by a good bit like early in the series like because I mentioned Michonne, like when I saw her doing her sword stuff, I'm like, oh, that's going to be stupid. And then the longer and more I watched her,
Starting point is 01:50:52 the more I really, really like her as a character now. Like she doesn't, you don't, like I like how she doesn't really. She's not one of my favorite characters. I love Rick, right? I guess that's cliche to like the main guy, but I like Rick because Rick is the only guy who's always thinking fucking clearly, you know? I don't like the characters who will run off at the handle and go ape shit because their lover got murdered or something like that. Rick's the guy who will keep a straight head through just about anything because he knows he'll get them eventually.
Starting point is 01:51:28 But today is not his day. He was pretty out of it for a bit when his wife got killed. Yes, that was a season that I wouldn't rank up in the... If you've got to rank all the seasons from best to worst, that's not one of my favorite seasons. I like the last three or four seasons of Rick. I like from Terminus forward. Those are my favorite Walking Dead seasons. I like...
Starting point is 01:51:51 And it's because Rick is getting more hardened and more hard fucking core. You know, I like... Yeah, yeah. Which one of the communities that they went to? Which one of the communities? I know it wasn't the Negan one. Which one? Was it the governors where they showed up and it was actually pretty much a functional society yes like and it was working pretty well like that's the thing i don't like about the show
Starting point is 01:52:13 most uh well i mean you have to do it because it's interesting but like they show up basically a terrorist cell at at some functional society and then they'll talk to one guy or one chick there, and they'll be like, what's it like working for the governor? And he's like, fucker doesn't share all the carrots. And they're like, God, this is horrible. These people are tyranny. It's carrot-free. And they don't mention, like, well, yeah, but we have running water, and there's no zombies here.
Starting point is 01:52:39 And so then they take it upon themselves to fix it. And by the end, it's just all those nameless, faceless people are like, all right, well, the governor's dead and our infrastructure is gone and those terrorists left. So I guess we're on our own. I want to jump in. That's part of what I like about it because obviously Rick and the gang are heroes, right? But there's some moral ambiguity if you look at it a little more closely. You're like, wait, are they always – because it used to be like, we never kill people. We only kill walkers.
Starting point is 01:53:06 And then they're like, well, you know, those people needed killing. We didn't have any choice. And then it's like, well, I mean, we had some choices, I guess. But we try to make the right ones. At least in my heart, I'm the good guy in this story. And I like that because you're like, yeah, yeah, I'll admit, you know, the governor seemed bad. But you didn't make it better. You, but you didn't make it better. You know, you didn't make it better at all.
Starting point is 01:53:31 Yeah, they made it worse. He did get a little rapey, you know. In the books, he, like, rapes Michonne and torches her and stuff. I think it was Michonne. And, you know, he was a real scumbag. He had those heads in the jars and everything. And he was really opposed to them living in the prison over there he saw them as like a scary group that needed to be dealt with and that's really what brought on the the conflict between the two groups so it's but it's like we've got
Starting point is 01:53:57 a guy here who's a little rapey right that's bad and he has maybe 15 20 people that are kind of his associates and maybe know that he's bad so we're gonna murder all of them to prevent the rapes and it's well that's that's how history's always worked a lot of murder you know it's a lot of murder and they don't and like of course the the rapey boss guy is evil but they're they just see it as like ah rapey boss and henchmen we got to kill all them but they're not thinking about all the people in that community that those rapey uh that rapey boss and his and his cronies are protecting you know they're going around with like a 2017 vision of what like society should
Starting point is 01:54:37 work like and it it's like no you fucking idiot like it's it's it's the past now like it's code of hammurabi type shit like oh you stole an unopened bottle of aquafina sorry you're we're taking a couple fingers here like oh you you know you did this or that you weren't covering your post sorry we got to kill you you built a house and it fell on the person who was dwelling in it sorry put to death like that's how i like to work back then i think negan society pretty fucking good. I would like to be part of his crew. We all ride around. We all get to ride motorcycles and it's a future
Starting point is 01:55:10 in which motorcycle riding is finally safe because there's no more assholes out on the road. There are zombies on the road. Cars are safer. Yeah, but they're slow moving. You see them coming, right? And they're all soft and squishy. It's a much safer time to be a biker
Starting point is 01:55:25 now i can be a biker always wanted to do that safely i've never been a safer time you've seen herds of hundreds of zombies right now i know you could see them and turn around but like it just seems like there might be situations where cars are even more superior to motorcycles than they are in our world. Sure, sure. But, like, you know, I get to be a biker, you know? And I got a cool biker gang. Like, I would totally be a Negan's posse. Like, they're not making you brand yourself or do anything awful. Like, remember that? Face branding thing.
Starting point is 01:56:00 Yeah, that's a punishment for fucking the guy's wife. You're lucky you didn't cut your dick off, right? She used to be my wife, so... But she made a decision, and we fucking got married, alright? Decisions made. You can't go... There's no going back. There's a lot of duress involved in that decision.
Starting point is 01:56:18 But he's the worst. You're showing back because she was his wife, right? Man of his word, alright? Let's say that you've got some apocalyptic bitches. You've got your two or three ladies. You've got an estate there. You've got all that equipment. Some extra bedrooms.
Starting point is 01:56:34 You've got fuel. You've got plenty of bedrooms. You're going to add a few bitches to that. You need at least one wife for every lawnmower. Carry on. There you go. Those lawnmowers will now become zombie fending off machines they'll be automated blades spinning around at just the right level exactly exactly on kyle's all of a sudden your neighbor slides on in there and he's like hey uh woody i know that like my wife is your wife now
Starting point is 01:56:59 and you guys got married and she lives in your house and everything and she's eating out of your cupboard and she's under the protection of your flail motor and everything but i slid on in there the other day and fucked her right before you got home sorry if you went down on your wife because i just had fucked her you're gonna melt that bitch's face you are gonna melt his face with whatever you've got in the woody garage i think you left out part of the story it's like someone was diabetic they needed insulin i have all the insulin two two of his he's got now it's easy to do because this man this negan has a lot of bitches he is a very successful man in the post-apocalyptic world but that's a different what so what happened there the man that's the blonde character
Starting point is 01:57:45 Who's like kind of a main character can't think of his name? He and he took his wife back from Negan and the wife's sister who needed the the Insulin and they fled they fled with a cooler full of insulin and a motorcycle And they both neglected their duties and fled and then they run into daryl and they get all mixed up and they end up going back to him knowing that if he went back he'd get the face melted and negan didn't kill him this man stole negan's wife a boatload of medical supplies and a second bitch and and went on the. Negan didn't kill him. Just melted his face a little. Dude, you would be Negan's PR guy.
Starting point is 01:58:28 That's where he'd have you in his lineup. Where, like, he wouldn't waste you going out on scavenging missions. He'd be like, you know what, Kyle? I'm going to have to burn Ted's face today. I'm going to need you to get out in front of this a bit. Go out there, talk to him. You know, explain the rules. Re-evaluate.
Starting point is 01:58:42 First of all, stress all of the benefits. Let's role play this. Who do you want me to be? You're Negan. I'm Negan? Yeah, you're Negan. All right. All right, so Kyle.
Starting point is 01:58:54 Yeah. I need you to go out there and talk to these guys. Basically, you know how it is. All the women are mine. And he took something that was mine and he stole it. And he stole all the insulin. You know all the diabetics we have around here and you need to go out there and list for them all the things that i do for them and then follow up with a brief rule about the face burning and then explain what
Starting point is 01:59:16 was happening and then why it's occurring then you're going to let them in slowly you're not going to make it a panic thing make sure that it appears to be normal you know just walk right into there you view it and so go relay this to them all right if i go relay this to them it'll make me look weak because it'll look like i have to re-establish myself to the authority yeah you don't you're you're the boss you don't you don't tell them what the rules are they should just know how many times have we been through this you're telling me he took how much he took all the fucking insulin i don't know how they measure it, but all of it. He took the whole cooler? We've just got the one UGA cooler full of insulin.
Starting point is 01:59:50 That's it. Yeah, we've got one Yeti. And he stole the whole thing. It's a great cooler as well. Were my sandwiches in there too? No, I'd already eaten those. You mean my sandwiches. Well, I had a ham, egg, and cheese sandwich.
Starting point is 02:00:04 You mean my sandwiches. That's not how a ham, egg, and cheese sandwich. You mean my sandwiches. Had is the operative word here. That's not how it works. I scavenged that ham. Now, this is like what happened. You tried to horn in on my wife the other day. Kyle, you know that I've already got mine. You know I've got the iron heating up already, right?
Starting point is 02:00:19 Of course. I put the iron. All right, I'm going to go talk to them about this. We'll get this straight. But I want that ham, egg, and cheese sandwich back. Can we make that deal? I get my sandwich. I relay your message.
Starting point is 02:00:31 Then we burn Ted's face. We'll see how receptive they are to your message. And then I'll save the sandwich for you when you get back. Amen. Kyle is the post-apocalyptic Sean Spicer. Yes. You were told, and you were told, and you were told. Now you will be shown.
Starting point is 02:00:52 I think we would, man, Kyle, we would have ran that place. Absolutely. Especially if you're dressed like that. You look very intimidating. Looking good. He's like a very underwhelming Terry Tate. Well, he doesn't have a pump going yet you know you give him a let him crank out a few push ups get good and red
Starting point is 02:01:11 Kyle don't don't bring them in until I've gotten 15 minutes to get a good pump on just for fun why don't you take a picture of you in your orange jumpsuit and put it on your tinder or your instagram and see how if you can still score. Oh, that is fucking hilarious, and I'm going to do it.
Starting point is 02:01:30 Looking for someone quick. I don't have a lot of time. Yeah. Just got out. Yeah, yeah, no. I'm on vegan. I'm down, Nick. I'm afraid to go back
Starting point is 02:01:45 hashtag vegan life i i am absolutely on negan's team on this whole thing uh i don't think he did anything wrong and if you look at what rick did to negan you know going in there and slaughtering one of his entire outposts and you look at what negan did back to rick killed one person what that's not why he killed that person though he killed uh he killed um glenn he killed him because he like stepped up and and like me and uh he killed glenn because daryl got hit him as daryl punched him did he yeah okay yeah daryl jumps up and punches him, so then he has to... And he said disparaging words as well. Yeah, and he just had come out and warned them, but he's like, I just have went through this.
Starting point is 02:02:35 All right. And then he killed the Asian guy, Glenn. Glenn was my favorite character, too. Really? Glenn was a real nice guy. Are you current on the show, Taylor? Or semi-current to last season? If this most current season has started,
Starting point is 02:02:52 then I'm not current. Okay, so you're just one episode back. Glenn is a real badass, but he doesn't come off like one, and that's the combination that makes me like him so much from the very beginning. When they had that crazy adventure to get the zombie out of the well. Glenn's the guy they put on a rope to get down there.
Starting point is 02:03:12 Glenn's been doing the dangerous scavenging for years. Glenn's a badass who was dealing with Terminus. You think Daryl and Rick are the biggest badasses on the thing. But if you actually measure them by all the tasks they've had to accomplish, Glenn's at the top. And he acts pretty casual. He does a lot of selfless stuff, which is respectable. I like Glenn a lot. Yeah, I liked him a lot.
Starting point is 02:03:38 I have a topic, but I know everyone has topics if you want to. All right, so this is one I thought was fun. What screams, I make terrible financial decisions neck tattoos frontal neck tattoos did we do this last week i feel like we said this no that's just always my like any time a question has to do with bad decision making neck tattoos is my goat uh knuckle tattoos anything on your hand uh that just shows that like all right well you're clearly not back to my client again I so the one that I typically break out and she's a love this is people who buy custom rims for their cars that I just you don't see wealthy people doing that you don't see wealthy people being like you know what
Starting point is 02:04:21 this thing needs aftermarket rims and i mean the tires are way too thick uh i need some low profile tires on this and and that way my car will both handle worse and perform worse you know uh that's that's a weird thing to me but the other one and and there are people in my universe who do this i hope that they never see the show well whenever someone opens a gofundme account you're like yeah oh i just got hurt like fire up the gofundme you know i just broke my paramotor uh how about a go hey can we all chip in because i you know suck at landing um yeah yeah that's something where it's like oh i got hurt i got the bends scuba diving and i need a gofundme account to to go to get whatever you know i need to get fixed and get back at it and get my equipment replaced.
Starting point is 02:05:06 And it's like, no, dude, you need to pick a fucking hobby like crocheting or poker. No, not poker, actually. You clearly wouldn't be fit for that. But just a cheaper hobby. You don't need that. Yeah, I empathize with some of the GoFundMe stupid stuff where they're like, oh, you know, this guy's dad was killed in a drunk driving accident
Starting point is 02:05:27 and now he's homeless or whatever. And so I get that. But that's not a bad decision making. That's just shit luck. The medical stuff is usually like, oh, I don't plan for bad... I don't plan for problems. Please do a GoFundMe.
Starting point is 02:05:40 Yeah, basically. The RIM one, the RIM job. Those are so expensive. Nobody wants to do that. That's just poor financial planning. You have to pay someone to eat your ass? It's like $3.50 for normal at Kyle's Trip Club, but $5.50 for a rim job. And it's free for some creep to lick his finger and put it in your ass.
Starting point is 02:06:04 Yeah, Kyle, uh, yeah. Kyle, we're talking about, uh, bad what you see. What screams bad financial decisions. Yeah, to you, bad financial decisions. We've had neck tattoos, frontal neck tattoos, uh, aftermarket rims. Mm-hmm. Um, having to do pill fund me's. Which she's hated. She said,
Starting point is 02:06:19 get the fuck out. Yeah, the rims were gonna be mine. Whenever you see you see more specifically when you see a shitty car that's got very like like the rims will be like 2500 3500 dollars worth of rims on a on like a civic or like uh an impala like a like a like a 2004 impala or something and you just know that the rims are worth more than the car it's that's that that's that's definitely one of those things that points that out um i'm trying to think there are so many things that i judge people for what am i honestly right now
Starting point is 02:06:58 ah here's one like like down in the south this one's more prevalent when you see someone driving anything an f-250 or an f-350 and they don't have a goddamn horse farm right like when they're not hooking up 15 000 pounds to their truck on a routine basis but they have the capability to do so i want to hear toy haulers i will say this about the south People love their toy haulers. It's not necessarily a farm thing. If you want to pull a fifth wheel or something like that and you go camping and you want to take your side-by-sides and stuff out, generally side-by-sides if you've got a couple of them, four-wheelers or whatever, it's going to take a bigger trailer.
Starting point is 02:07:41 I've got a fifth wheel in my Chevy 1500 though. Just welded it in there. Yeah, but you're that asshole who's going to go down Mont Eagle Mountain, and you're going to smoke your brakes and frickin' wreck or something. But Richard, just throwing it out there, the tow, like on a recent anyway half-ton truck, like an F-150, people don't know their trucks, they tow over 10,000 pounds. 10,500 to 12,000 pounds. 13,000 on the new F-150s.
Starting point is 02:08:06 Everybody fucking does this. Everyone does this. They're like, oh, it's capable of towing 10,000 pounds. No. Well, yeah, but you're not supposed to push it. No, you're right. You're right. I'm with you.
Starting point is 02:08:18 If it's capable of towing, in the case of the F-150, 13,000 pounds. And you have to pull 13,000. You shouldn't. But that does tell me it can pull seven. It can pull seven and be okay. If you're going around town, it's not that big of a deal unless you live in San Francisco or something like that maybe. But if you're in BF Georgia or something like that, I completely agree. If you're going a few miles pulling a trailer, even then that probably gives you more of
Starting point is 02:08:43 a case to get a half ton than the 250 or the 350 if you're not pulling like crazy weights or things along those lines but my cousin my cousin has the the 250 big boy fucking thing and it's very nice truck he doesn't need that motherfucker i told him when he was getting it it's i tell you what it is he's getting it because all the other rednecks at Walmart have one. Like these kids who have millionaire parents who were driving these things in high school who are rolling black coal because they've got like a dual six-inch exhaust coming out of the top of the bed like smokestacks. And they're rolling coal through town with a with
Starting point is 02:09:25 double rebel flags that are each like 10 feet by 10 feet long it's just unnecessary and cliche and i get that it's just uh the one thing about the f-250 everyone's right terrible financial decisions why i don't have one but i want one i want one it has a higher stance it like i occasionally drive at my yard and it's got some inclines and stuff near the stable and uh i would like to not worry about that incline just hit it at whatever speed i choose to i would like to i don't really have a good i can't rationalize it i just want it the fx4 right you know the one that's got the uh the like the the guard on the transmission and undercarriage. It's got the brush guards.
Starting point is 02:10:07 Well, the Raptor. For too long, the top 1% has monopolized towing capacity in this country. Yeah. It's funny. The truck itself doesn't bother me as much as sometimes the accessories, right? Where it's like if you – I hated on brush guards for a long time because people like you say they would have these massive brush guards and say oh you've never taken your truck off road but like when we went to texas see seeing how many deer get exploded from just
Starting point is 02:10:39 like just driving normal conditions it's like you don't have a brush guard. You're going to drill something. It's going to screw your truck up bad. Yeah, man. In Texas, the brush guard is required. There are so many deer out there. They need to put the same laws on the whitetail deer out there that they do the feral hogs because at this point, they need
Starting point is 02:11:00 exterminating. What's great is Chase is getting upset in the chat through this whole conversation. About rims? Get the fuck out. It's such a minor upgrade. We should all get air compressors and winches installed, which is a dig at me. He's like,
Starting point is 02:11:15 a shit paint job is thousands of dollars. I don't know where that came from. We're talking about the F-250. Need? Who are you to say what someone needs? Which I kind of like. It's a gun argument I use. And I don't know where he got the light bar thing. 50 billion LED light bar. Oh, that's a...
Starting point is 02:11:30 Unless you're in Texas. Like, I don't like unnecessary accessories. Like, if you have something, you should be putting it to work. Like, I hate the scumbags I see in atlanta and out here who have those big bright light bars shining on me or they've upgraded their uh their headlights to the super high intensity shit and it's just blinding on low beams like picking up putting it to work chis rip it on my air compressor my fucking tire is flat once a week you think i don't need that air compressor you know what i got i used it all
Starting point is 02:12:05 i used it this morning before i went to pt my dad has a uh it it's a power drill it looks like a power drill like it takes the 18 or 24 volt maybe and it's an air compressor it has a hose that comes out instead of uh any sort of a clutch or anything and it's and i was like ah but this is a piece of shit and I it well it's a rechargeable battery pack so you pop it off and charge it it pumps a tire up like a truck tire uh the truck had a flat tire and it went from 10 ps it's got a gauge on it as well it went from 10 to 40 in five minutes you know longer than it would have taken for something else but it was like this thing fits in a glove box or in a toolbox or anything, and it's just
Starting point is 02:12:45 so compact, so powerful. Let's watch this video. It's like 13 seconds long, and it's very rewarding. Felt deer wrong. I need a second. Yeah. Top hits deer at 100 miles an hour. They were very close.
Starting point is 02:13:04 Don't let me down close don't let me down you're gonna like this is everyone queued up at zero? yes sir 3, 2, 1, play one ear I'm looking for it there it is
Starting point is 02:13:18 oh man it exploded it just vaporizes it turn on those wipers Oh, man. It exploded. It just vaporizes it. Turn on those wipers. Oh, man. I'm playing it on repeat for our people. The deer should have known better.
Starting point is 02:13:41 Do you guys have the one up next that deer gets hit by Porsche on racetrack? No, but I'd like to see mine's f350 and bmw hit deer at high speed that's not your next one oh that's my next one this one's mine why don't i get different maybe recommendations man all right this one's 30 seconds wait where does where does it happen? It's three, four minutes? Unless he's hitting a lot of deer. I don't know. I don't know. That's them getting out. It looks like it happens at 30, 34 seconds. All right, I guess we'll watch it through.
Starting point is 02:14:17 Three, two, one, play. I wonder what track that is. That guy's hauling ass. He's track day. That guy's hauling ass. He's track day. That guy's flying. This looks like so much fun, but it also seems so stressful. Those high-powered go-karts that we drove on
Starting point is 02:14:36 were almost plenty. Oh, you got the Porsche school in Atlanta, too. I'm looking for this deer. I don't know if we're gonna to hit it or that car in front of us is going to hit it. If this guy's just going to get a rainy mist. Oh!
Starting point is 02:14:53 Time for the wipers, buddy. Oh, that was disintegration. It's just viscera and bile and everything that composes a deer all over the track. That was gross. We blew up a whole pig one time and it rained like bacon fat like this stringy bits of fat rained from the sky. Stringy bits of fat? Yeah, because it was a butchered hog, so it was hollow,
Starting point is 02:15:26 so we stuffed the insides with explosives and shot it. And all that we found was the snout. They stuck the snout in the grill of my truck. I was not happy about that. I mean, just a nice little token like a serial killer would do. Yeah, yeah. To be hardcore and freak out, I bit it yes i'm lucky i've never hit a deer oh jesus in my car knock on wood but me too i had one i had one hit my fucking accurate one time and it
Starting point is 02:15:55 it was a real pisser it fucked up it the deer hit me in the side and it fucked up my door and my mirror and uh and the hood and the fender like like it hitting that in a sweet spot that was uh that was super that's a real issue people get killed by that hitting deer yeah yeah yeah deer like they'll go through the windshield or um you know going through the windshield that's why you need a that's why you need an F-250. Now we discover the need. That's it. Full circle. I've seen some of those brush guards are scary.
Starting point is 02:16:32 They have spikes on them and stuff. Like they're made for deer crushing. Wow. Kyle, I wanted more of your input and more of Richard's on the trashy, what shows bad decision making. Because Woody was right on the money with the rims. And I know that was going to be yours too.
Starting point is 02:16:50 I was going to say ear gauging, but that's not so much finances. It's more just like when I see someone who has an ear gauge in, I just want to go up to them and grab them and be like, you don't have to do this. You can choose another way. You're still in the beginning phases of gauging it. You think anyone's going to find that attractive in not two years, but in one hour
Starting point is 02:17:10 when they see your gauge? It's not a good look, even in the beginning. When someone sticks really, really loud exhaust on their Honda, when it's like as loud as a crotch rocket or something, that's sort of a douchebaggy thing i don't think that's very expensive you know it's probably a couple hundred bucks or something but i think less of a car prejudice because when people modify their cars in the way i like when
Starting point is 02:17:34 their jeep sits a little taller and wider i think oh that thing's really cool like i like that you did that but when they modify their civic to sit lower it's like oh that's so stupid yeah their civic to sit lower it's like oh that's so stupid yeah well a good poor one uh like if you get in someone's car and like someone who's always bitching about money and you get in their car and it's just packed to the rafters with fast food and it's just like uh like i know at the moment it seems like a great deal to be feasting for nine dollars but that was one meal of the day that's not actually filling you up like you're spending so much at mcdonald's and burger king and what like you are paying for convenience is that even if it seems cheap oh if you try and eat a whole month three meals a day from fast food you will spend multiple times more than you would if you had just gone to walmart or even just like
Starting point is 02:18:21 a reasonably nice grocery store and buy all the food you need. I always thought living on like tomatoes and high quality meats and stuff was actually more expensive than fast food. It's going to be comparable and it's going to depend on what you get from the grocery store and what quality of stuff you're getting and what fast food you eat. Because like if you go to McDonald's and you get like three regular hamburgers those things are like 60 cents a piece right like if you get if you get a water and three three small hamburgers like you got out of there for for two dollars right like none of these nobody does that none of these people are doing that poor people do that like they use the dollar menu like like i've you know like it's the whole menu yeah like i'll be behind people sometimes and they'll be like you can tell they know their way around the mcdonald's menu
Starting point is 02:19:11 they're like oh yeah give me four ice waters and give me eight double cheeseburgers and they're like 219 and i'm like what the fuck you just feed that whole family for three dollars or something like that but when i go i mean you know i i like there's no dollar menu anymore i like the signature combos those those signature combos are so fucking good my mouth's watering already just thinking about how delicious that sriracha buttermilk chicken sandwich is oh it's so goddamn good dude you can get a-pound bag of frozen chicken breast or chicken tenderloin or whatever and throw it in your freezer and have meat for weeks. Get a whole chicken, throw it in the slow cooker with some vegetables and stuff. Yeah, you know, a way better option, I think, than going to fast food if you have time is go to any grocery store and get a rotisserie chicken. It's like $4 and 75 cents like i bought
Starting point is 02:20:05 one the other day for a cheap like kind of lunch and i was like surprised i didn't check the prices i was picking it up it's like a fucking chicken it can't be that much i scanned it it's like 498 or whatever it's like i just got a whole fucking herb roasted chicken for four dollars that's a lost leader so what they do they they they lose money on those rotisserie chickens because the smell of the rotisserie chicken in the store gets you to buy more stuff. They lose money on those. I don't know what it is about them, though. They're always like you buy them, you eat it within 20 minutes. It's awesome.
Starting point is 02:20:41 It's so good. If you put that thing in the fridge and you try to reheat it, it tastes like absolute ass. You can't do that. It's so good. If you put that thing in the fridge and you try to reheat it, it tastes like absolute ass. You can't do that. It's so bad. It's so bad. I don't know why. You have to commit to your rotisserie chicken. It helps to have a show on, like, watching Robert Baratheon eat and watching him eat, and I'm like, yeah, me too, buddy. Ha-ha!
Starting point is 02:21:02 Rip it apart. You're having your feast. I'm having my $4 gas station chicken. That's the only good thing about the Renaissance Fair. The turkey legs. Oh, that Six Flags turkey legs. I loved those. I wait for Kyle to tell me that there's something
Starting point is 02:21:18 wrong with those chickens, because I feel like you have the in on all things chicken in the world. I think they've all got antibiotics in them, and they're raised in horrible conditions and stuff like that. But who cares? They're delicious. I have no empathy for chicken.
Starting point is 02:21:33 I got antibiotics in me. That's what I just took a second ago, a little moxicillin. Keep myself going along real good. You should eat chicken just to clean things up every once in a while. I've got one. I don't know if it's an indicator of bad decisions as much as your period bad decision but when people buy cars and they just want to know the payment amount that's oh yes oh kyle probably knows all yeah like that's a sales technique it's like you know you that that's what you want to negotiate you're like well what do you want
Starting point is 02:22:00 your payment to be you want to get them off the bottom line and on to the payment because then you know you can make it right with just add a few more months on to that thing you'd be paying for 98 months no big deal it'll balloon halfway through but it's okay yeah that's the thing is like you guys start talking about that the the payment stuff that's that's probably one of the things like you know i don't want to knock people for their downtime or their fun and and hobbies and things along those lines but you know the last 10 15 years jesus um yeah inflation is going to happen uh but i i think you start looking at the cost of motorcycles and specifically side by sides i'm like jesus dude some of these side-by-sides are over thirty thousand dollars it's like is the side by side like the indiana jones kind of thing
Starting point is 02:22:51 it's like you know the the like a golf cart with good suspension and four-wheel drive oh okay yeah yeah i was talking to my dad about this the other day like like he's got um he had a kawasaki mule and now he's got a kubota like a diesel powered kubota like a really nice one and i think it was eight no it was like nine to eleven thousand dollars something like that and and i was i was telling him i was like dad why don't you just get like a used toyota pickup truck and he's like well i like to be able to hop in and out of it i'm like tear the fucking doors off just tear the fucking doors off and and then you've got it like you can get those for like three thousand dollars and then you've got a truck he's like well i like the dump bed i'm like you
Starting point is 02:23:35 can add a dump bed for a couple thousand dollars like his thing is cool and it's nice and it's meant to do that and other people know that he has this nice thing what you're describing it's kind of a piece of shit right like an aftermarket dump truck with the doors ripped off on a toyota i'd love that yeah absolutely like his kubota those those xtvs usually have governors on them so you can only go like 20, 25 miles an hour. Like you, you top out and it's like, but, but,
Starting point is 02:24:06 but, but, but, but it slows down. If you had a five speed fucking Toyota, you could zip to the gas station. If you want to, you could,
Starting point is 02:24:13 you know, here in Utah, they do. You're like the, I mean the Polaris, uh, razors and the can AMS, those things will go 70 miles per hour.
Starting point is 02:24:22 Oh my God. That can AM that Brent had that, that, that, uh, that those, uh, over, that Brent had, those over at Ox Ranch, those fucking side-by-sides that he has were out fucking outrageous. That was fun. They're like $30,000.
Starting point is 02:24:34 Is that right? Well, they vary. I mean, like the Razors, like the twin turbo models and stuff like that are knocking on that $30,000 mark. We have a golf cart and i it's an easy go and i love it i love it like like i've never for a second have i not wanted that thing it's been so great i we use it every day it's the coolest thing having said that sometimes i'll like go to a store and get like envy like like i don't know bobcat will make something with the pto shaft and doors
Starting point is 02:25:06 that close and air conditioning but it's a golf cart with like air conditioning and i'm just like man maybe i want that but like your dad says being able to just sort of put your butt down and foot on the pedal and have it start going you wouldn't think it but having no key and stuff it's really nice like it's it's what nice. It's what I like. Well, you could get that with the new F-150 pretty much because it has the auto start-stop feature. You put your key in your pocket, you get in, and just...
Starting point is 02:25:35 I really want that. I think I want a new F-150. I have to get my wife a car first. Lease the motherfucker. I would never. So silly. Go get it! That wife a car first. Lease the motherfucker. I would never. So silly. Go get it. That's a bad decision.
Starting point is 02:25:49 I'll tell you that. That's the definition right there. Well, he's not going to work it hard. Because you don't travel a lot. Yeah, you don't travel a lot. I've told this before. When I was buying my truck in 2003, I looked at S10s. And my father was like, you should get an S10.
Starting point is 02:26:04 It was the last year they were making them, so they were going really cheap. Everyone knew it was a model. They replaced it with a Canyon or something. And I looked at it, and I just couldn't talk myself into it. I didn't want it. And if you don't even want it, it's not a bargain. And I got the Tacoma.
Starting point is 02:26:20 And now I'm kind of glad that for the last 15 years, I had a truck I like instead of one I didn't. S10 would not have lasted. It wouldn't have lasted. And even the period that it did last, I wouldn't have wanted it. That's true, too. It doesn't appeal to me. Smaller.
Starting point is 02:26:34 Yeah. The Avalanche replaced it. My cousin had a sporty version of the Avalanche with a manual transmission. And he got the rubber floor mats, which normally I think are really trashy. But it was cool in this truck because it was yellow on the outside. It sat kind of low. And it had black seats with yellow stripes on them. And it was nice.
Starting point is 02:26:56 He got it brand new. And he totaled that motherfucker after like every... He totaled eight cars in like a four-year period like just total after total after total like it i could where i was going with that i was 30 when i got that it was a long time ago i wasn't on youtube or anything jesus yeah right so now i'm like dude i'm glad that from the time i'm 30 to let's pretend I'm 45, you know, coming up, uh, I didn't have an S10 and,
Starting point is 02:27:27 but it's like, but okay, Woody, now you're kind of feeling that way about your Tacoma. Are you going to go from 45 to 60 in a car you don't like? You don't have to. No, this is a time in your life where you should be able to drive whatever the
Starting point is 02:27:39 fuck you want. It's not a midlife crisis as much as it is. You're now an age where you have money to do the things you want to do. Everybody would do midlife crisis level shit at 26, for example, if I had the money to do midlife crisis shit.
Starting point is 02:27:56 I should tell you I love a flying machine. I love a flying machine, but I don't have the pocketbook for it. You know what? I do not want to fly around fucking st louis i don't think that's a midlife crisis though i think that's you just enjoying who it is i think it's whenever you start you start compensating for the age that you're getting to that you want to reclaim that youth by purchasing it and i think that's you just being you.
Starting point is 02:28:26 Usually, the only people I think who are genuinely midlife crisising it are the ones who are super defensive about it. Where it's like, I'm not getting a red convertible because of a midlife crisis. I'm not suddenly realizing my own mortality and I only have 37 years left. No, that can't possibly be true.
Starting point is 02:28:41 When you see an older person who's 50 or whatever, a little old for a midlife crisis, i guess but they like have a porsche or a bentley it's like yeah i like it unless they live i like that yeah unless they live to 100 i was thinking about that with my own dad the other day he's like 53 and i was like yeah he's about middle age and i'm like that oh no oh no he's not jesus like oh he's on he's on uh he's he's already hit the apex of that roller coaster ride and now he's about a third of the way down on the other side.
Starting point is 02:29:09 That's the part where you start screaming real loud. Well, I guess it depends on how well you take care of yourself though too. Right? How well do you take care of yourself if you live to 106? I mean, you look at certain How old do you take care of yourself if you live to 106? I mean, you look at it like... No, go ahead. You look at certain actresses or actors,
Starting point is 02:29:30 and you're like, oh, shit, dude's in his 50s? She's in her 50s? What? Really? Man, she took care of herself. But I know people that were in their 20s, it's like, okay, they apexed. Girls, especially. They crescendoed. So many girls that partied their way from 21 to 30
Starting point is 02:29:48 like their skin has turned to some something kind of suntan like king ranch leather seats suntan or female smoker it's brown it's got the it's got the the wear marks all over it like like crow's feet and stuff like that bitch didn't moisturize it's dude i saw there's a mustang the mustang now maybe it's the roush mustang it went past me the other day it's got the king ranch dark brown like leather seats in it dude if you woody if you saw that thing and and by the way it sounds sexy it's when that thing went past i was like wo, buy that motherfucker if he got in and went for a little test drive. I guarantee you go through second.
Starting point is 02:30:32 I could sell this to Woody. You fucking go through third gear in that thing and then take a tight corner and feel that there's no body roll because it's some sort of electronic fucking suspension. That Dick DeMauro guy who just likes cars. Do you want to go? No, no go ahead so he reviewed a couple jaguars jaguars jaguar it's it's not jaguar it's jaguar or something anyway um so he those things what's interesting about a jaguar is that they do not keep their value. They suck. They're trading. Like you buy an $85,000 car, keep it two years and it's a $35,000 car.
Starting point is 02:31:14 No lie. And I'm like, really? So I'm going on my local Craigslist, right? This isn't even eBay drive to Utah to get a deal or something. This is just here in Raleigh. They're for sale. I like no way and the seats massage you and have like all the stuff it like they're serious auto
Starting point is 02:31:33 blow high performance luxury cars for 35 grand i'm like 35 grand that's it's ridiculous like and you know why though the maintenance is outrageous i had pretty expensive too i had a jaguar xj12 when i was like 17 okay yeah it was an older one it was like i don't remember how old it was it was late 80s early 90s or something i. But it was a long car with a 12-cylinder engine in it. I had it for about four months. It was time to change the spark plugs, and we started looking at this thing. It's like three cars worth of spark plugs. Three cars.
Starting point is 02:32:15 And here's the thing. Maybe we're just dumb rednecks around here, but it seemed to us and to the guy we bought it from that you have to drop the transmission to get to the spark plugs correctly is that true Richard? I've heard of some crazy things like
Starting point is 02:32:32 that like where some of the engines that they the way that they put the spark plugs into them was not engineered in a way that was for maintenance it was like hey we can make it run oh shit you got to maintain it whoops it was like honda had a big issue with them uh back in the or no it was
Starting point is 02:32:55 ford it was actually for i think it was my the 5.4 line four four liter triton i had like they they would break off inside of it because you had to have a special socket to get down into it everything um i've never been paid by ford i'm not like i've never had a ford sponsorship but uh i've been like a big fan a lot of my life because like the first car i ever got was when i was like 13 i got got a 67 Mustang that didn't run. And my mom, my grandma were like, Hey, uh, you should go buy a Hanes manual and figure out how to get this thing running. If you want a car to drive when you're 16. So whenever I'd work in the summers and stuff like that, I'd buy parts here and there and I'd try to figure things out. Um,
Starting point is 02:33:38 so I had a few Mustangs thereafter. Well, because of, you know, I'm, I'm fairly vocal about the things that I like and the things that I dislike about Ford, I've had some pretty unique opportunities and I didn't even fucking think to talk about this earlier. But so you talk about stuff that I've got to do. So I've actually had like a direct relationship with Ford's marketing and PR department who was like, hey, you know, with this stuff, we love the stuff that you've been doing with Rated Red and all this other stuff. If you'd like an opportunity to come to the Utah Motorsports campus, you can drive the GT before we release it.
Starting point is 02:34:20 And I was like, shut the fuck up. Okay, cool. I'm going to go there. I'm going to do a ride along. lease it and i was like shut the fuck up okay cool i'm gonna go there i'm gonna do a ride along no joke two days of me going to their like performance school and stuff like that and they're like they're they're having me push this car as hard as i can and i i fucking shit you not like i like i don't know a whole lot about like formula and and everything but so like they're having to like you know teach me and like so the
Starting point is 02:34:45 different signs on the straightaway are where you'd break so like so like five four three two one and he's like i'm going 163 miles per hour coming into this corner and he's like wait for one wait for one wait and i'm like i'm just like breaking hard on three and i'm like dude i like i believe that this car is fully capable of breaking on one but i just i just don't have it i don't have the faith in the equipment right now like if i were racing for a while or something but just screaming through the freaking turns and stuff that car like half a million dollar supercar and i'm like i i honestly i i told myself i told everyone there i was like look i really i cannot thank you enough for this opportunity but i feel like a piece of shit because i'm like who am i to be here doing this because there's so many more
Starting point is 02:35:39 worthy people that that that like are are extremely knowledgeable about like about the carbon fiber body and everything about it was just like a work of art. I got to meet Henry Ford. I think he's the third. That's pretty cool. You invented charcoal. Yeah, yeah. I mean, it was just it was so much fun it was such a cool experience the cars they have like eight of them price like
Starting point is 02:36:10 you just buy it like a normal person yeah yeah msr yeah msrp um i got the park one wait you paid the sticker price like don't even regular people do better than sticker price no no no no so it's like msrp and then i would get incentives and stuff like that because i ordered it um i wanted the um i wanted the super crew so the four door full size but i wanted a six and a half foot bed in the 36 gallon tank and because i was having to i was wanting to order it um they're like sorry bro we ain't gonna cut you a break you can get we'll give you a deal on the one on the lot you know you get a 50 gallon tank for that thing they have 50 gallons for f-150s now for i i was getting uh i was getting a bed cover for uh for for a truck and i was just flipping
Starting point is 02:36:56 through the the manual at that place like an aftermarket place and they had 50 gallon tanks for any truck and i was like oh i was thinking like it would be fucking hilarious because we're about to go on this long haul road trip we were going to drive like from georgia to seattle and then down to oregon uh and then back and i was like it'd be so because we used to split up our drives but like all right i'll drive a tank of gas then you drive a tank of gas it'd be so funny to throw that 50 gallon tank in there like all right scott you drive a tank then i'll drive a tank it's hilarious that you say that because that was that was the big thing for me at the time because i had the 5.4 and it would never it would never like it would take me fucking 20 different stops to be able to make it to Tennessee. And then as soon as I got the V6 and the 36 gallon
Starting point is 02:37:47 take, it took me six fuel tanks to get all the way to Tennessee. And I was like, oh man, I can drive so much longer now. It's like, I don't, like, I don't miss it. I don't miss the V8 at all. Really? I wasn't sure what to get. That GT, I'm sorry to interrupt. I just want to say that GT story is awesome I really would feel privileged for that too because when I sold cars I got to park one one time a GT500?
Starting point is 02:38:14 yes, we had a, I think it was blue with white stripes or maybe it was white with blue stripes, I don't remember which but they took it they parked it and then I got to drive it to detail I sat there with it at detail watched watched them clean it up, because the boss was like, don't let them fuck this car up. Impress upon them that this car is expensive.
Starting point is 02:38:32 I think it was $150,000, but we were charging like over sticker, like $35,000, $40,000 over sticker. He's like, and then bring it back. And I did a circle around the lot, and then I parked it back. But I never got out of like second gear or something like i never i i hossed it a little with the clutch in you know just just to hear it but i didn't do anything out of sorts with it it's so fucking cool to be able to drive on a track so they they they actually had an application process an interview process to be able to buy one because they made so few of them they're like we don't want guys parking these and just putting them in a garage and everything
Starting point is 02:39:10 we want guys going out there to track days and and things along those lines really driving these things and and putting put the name out there and and i tell you like the the thing driving it is is is extremely like man i can't even put it into words man it was just so like um i i felt honored that i got to do it because i'm not i'm never going to spend that amount of money on a car i don't have any friends that have any cars like that or anything and to be able to push it on the track having a um a a gt driver you, who raced in Le Mans, you know, as a professional race car driver, as my coach and everything is just so gratifying. But the knowledge that I got from the engineering process was insane. Like the level of secrecy that goes into developing these project cars or these performance series vehicles, it's remarkable.
Starting point is 02:40:08 Like they, you know, most people hear about like the closed door places where they have key card access and then, oh, what project are you working on? Oh, well, I can't tell. Well, they legit had a, to keep this whole project secret, they had this place in the basement area where they had traditional lock and key locks on it, not key card access stuff. All the windows blacked out and everything. And to keep other people from being involved on it, they had to pretty much like – not 3D print, but pretty much like what would be 3D printing with the clay and stuff like that. So it's like using fewer and fewer people. And just the level of secrecy and the pride that everyone involved on the project took,
Starting point is 02:40:52 it was just, I don't know, there's something more to it than just driving in the car. It was a lot of fun. And now they have the Raptor Assault School here in Utah too. And I'm like, I kind of want, I kinda wanna, I kinda, cause when you buy a Raptor, they, um, so if you buy a Raptor, a GT or an RS, any of the performance, uh, vehicles, you get to come out here to the Utah motorsports campus or out to the mountains and, uh, do their professional driving school for a few days. Uh, so they don't, they don't pay for your airfare and everything, but they pay for the school and all that good stuff.
Starting point is 02:41:28 You don't drive your vehicle, you drive the school ones and you get professional driver instruction and everything. Man, it's so much fun. So much fun. Raptors are badass. Have you ever seen the YouTube video of the guy jumping his and destroying it? He overdid it a little bit.
Starting point is 02:41:45 What was he thinking? I don't know. That's a 90-foot jump. On the other hand... He made it. I don't know how hard to hit a ramp. I don't know exactly... It's not a Baja truck.
Starting point is 02:41:59 You don't hit a ramp at all. Yeah, you're right. You can hit a little. You can get four feet up. I've jumped geo- can get four feet up i've jumped like geo trackers four feet you get you talk you talk about the you talk about the overkill i don't know why i'm just now thinking of this shit you talk about like the f-250 or the f-350s overkill uh so i went to dearborn this was actually on my birthday last year uh i went to deerborn and was doing some stuff uh with them on the rs like their
Starting point is 02:42:25 drift or their um uh i guess it's their drift pad uh so they wet down the area and you take an rs out there and you do like their drifting course and stuff but they have the um f series tonka truck or whatever uh see if i can find it. It's not a production truck. I think I've seen this concept truck. Does it look like a big yellow Tonka truck? Yeah, let's see here. Yeah, that's it. That dude was...
Starting point is 02:42:58 That was a beast for sure. Yeah, that's it. I know so little about trucks and engines in cars it's a difficult conversation to jump into cars because like it's so easy to ask a stone-cold retarded question you know yeah so that's funny yeah we'll draw we just we just completely ripped on Civics
Starting point is 02:43:25 and stuff. This thing is ridiculous in a different direction. I'm a fan. That's cool. But this has a purpose. This thing does work. It's got a rear lift gate and everything. It's an F750.
Starting point is 02:43:42 Yeah, baby. I've seen rednecks with the like the 550s and up who are just using them as street trucks johnny hendrix does i was gonna say johnny hendrix that's so funny that's stupid that is i think it was a gift it was at least what those area in the back like at least what those areas done with the um done with the, what is that fucking military truck I'm spacing out? Humvee, Hummer, Deuce. Nah, the Deuce and a Half or whatever it is he's got. Ah, the old Deuce and a Half, as they say.
Starting point is 02:44:19 At least that's cheap. And those engines will run on anything. They'll run on lighter fluid, vegetable oil, fucking like whatever you pour in there. It'll just believe it or not. I usually have easier access to gasoline quantities of any of those things. Oh, I own a chain of Mexican restaurants. Let me go empty out the fryer. See, if someone was like hey you could you could fill
Starting point is 02:44:48 this fucking thing up with grape jello and drive as far as you want it's like that's fine give me the gasoline joke about it yeah joke about it but we actually we were talking about that earlier today where uh we we were going to pick up couches or whatever off of craigslist and we're like oh shit gas two dollars and 39 cents a gallon oh man that's crazy that's a good price it's like yeah i remember when i was in la and uh it was close to that five 550 mark in beverly hills and and those areas um and that's when the the biodiesel stuff really started taking off out there those those guys and so so all those Mexican restaurants, like, that people would go there and be like, hey, man, can we get all your cooking oil and stuff like that?
Starting point is 02:45:31 And they're like, yeah, all right, cool, whatever. You know what the best part about that is? My dad's got a friend who, like, I don't know if he still does it regularly, but for a while he was running that shit in his truck. It smells like French fries. The exhaust smells like french fries like he would he would he would like rev it up and i'm getting hungry over there i gotta go to mcdonald's i gotta i gotta get some of those french fries is this from mcdonald's
Starting point is 02:45:56 he's like yep sure is that's mcdonald's grease right there i'm like oh i can tell i can tell it's so good. That's funny. It is really neat, though. That's one conspiracy. I mean, we were supposed to get the JFK documents today, and those didn't come out. They didn't? No, I don't think they did,
Starting point is 02:46:16 unless it was like they came out later this evening. Ted Cruz blocked it. Yeah, but the iPhone does, so who really wins? He blocked it. The iPhone came out today? That's like a... Well, the pre-orders start tonight, so who really wins? JFK, iPhone X?
Starting point is 02:46:29 Probably JFK. Probably. I sincerely believe, as a conspiracy theory, that they have come up with shit better than gasoline that they could use for cars, and they have kept it a secret.
Starting point is 02:46:44 They have. They absolutely have. Kyle, do you remember that video gasoline that they could use for cars and they have kept it a secret that they have they absolutely have kyle do you remember that video that we watched a while ago where uh well chiz i'm talking about before electricity was using cars like like years years and years ago like it's not first of all with the electric vehicles let's talk about the environmental impact of making the batteries all right until you get that to all make sense that like i don't even want to hear it like those batteries they're using are causing a lot more environmental issues than yeah yeah just the manufacturer old school ones were terrible right like back when there were lead acid batteries or like the lithium ion
Starting point is 02:47:20 yeah well lithium's a super like it's it's turning into a precious resource or commodity right it's like the the mines are like yeah i didn't know we saw the current batteries were so bad yeah there's a video there's a video out there and it's from like uh like the early 80s and it's this guy who invented a go-kart a goart, like, obviously has the potential to be scaled up to a car, and it runs on water. And it's an entire, and the video happens, like, it's a real news story. This was a real
Starting point is 02:47:54 buggy that ran on water, and the guy was poisoned to death. He literally died by poison. He was in a restaurant. He stood up, said, I've been poisoned. And then he dropped dead. And this was just a couple months after the interview.
Starting point is 02:48:13 And so the interview basically went, they're like, and it was local news. And he's like, yeah, we can't watch it. It's too long. So I'll just explain it. And he's like, so Mr. Smith, what have you been working on? And what did you break through with here? He's like, well, it's a water-powered buggy. Oh, right here, 90 seconds. You found you found the shorter version yeah let's watch this because it's wonderful when he's explaining the
Starting point is 02:48:29 different kinds of water yeah you don't got fresh water you salt water you said skip the first 10 so let's start at a 10 thank you for finding that chis well done okay um are we ready yeah ready set play off our news here at six o'clock an age-old dream becoming a reality a local inventor has discovered a way hear this to use water to run your car it's a major breakthrough that will no doubt make motorists happy and as ralph robinson explains the pentagon is also showing lots of interest in this project i bet they are a precious commodity but stan maher's invention may make it even more valuable he has developed what's called a water fuel cell it has taken the place of his old gas tank the water fuel cell breaks down water molecules into oxygen and hydrogen. The hydrogen is used to run his dune buggy.
Starting point is 02:49:26 I don't care if you use rainwater, well water, city water, ocean water. If you don't have any fresh water, go ahead and use snow. If you don't have any snow available to you, then use salt water because there's no adverse effect to the fuel cell. Myers started working on this project four years ago. He's not a scientist. He isn't even a chemist. In fact, he never graduated from college myers was determined he says to design something to protect this country from oil embargoes and we have calculated that if we take the dune buggy from los angeles to new york we would
Starting point is 02:49:56 roughly use 22 gallons of water the pentagon flew a lieutenant colonel in last week to look at myers invention and his talk of possibly using it in the Star Wars defense program and to run army tanks. Myers is currently perfecting a water fuel cell for cars. It will cost about $1,500. He says it won't need any maintenance, and you won't have to replace it. It'll be at least two years before the fuel system goes into
Starting point is 02:50:17 mass production. The day it happens will be one the fuel industry hates, but it'll put a smile on the face of those who've had to say at one time or another, fill her up. You believe that? And he was poisoned. I believe he was poisoned. Yeah, I believe he was poisoned.
Starting point is 02:50:34 Who knows about the actual car, but I just get such a... Who fucking knows? Probably not. It's like on It's Always Sunny when I don't know enough to dispute what he says about when you burn things, it goes up in the atmosphere and turns into stars. Like, I don't know enough about stars or smoke to dispute that, but I know it's wrong. So I've seen this debunked, like, half a dozen times.
Starting point is 02:50:58 I bet you have. Like big oil. Right? oil right i'm outside my depth but apparently it takes more energy to break apart the oxygen from the hydrogen than you get by that breakup or by burning the hydrogen that just it's just too difficult to pull it apart now you can pull it apart and run stuff but usually there's some other energy source like yeah charge a battery and then the battery does that and it runs on the thing they make torches that run on water they make water torches and but sure enough you have to plug them in you know and then they separate it and they burn the hydrogen i think that's one of these i think that you know the
Starting point is 02:51:35 guy's gonna be like yeah it's not for sale yet i got one more kink to work out we don't have outlets long enough yeah yeah i i think i suspect that's going to be the deal. I bet if we look up water-powered car debunked. The Pentagon sent people there to say hi to him. Oh, yeah, here we go. Check it out. Water-powered car debunked, sponsored by BP. Yep, yep, yep.
Starting point is 02:51:58 Yeah, that's something you can believe if you think that ExxonMobil and Royal Petroleum are looking out for your best interest as a consumer. Yeah, and you tell me if you believe that. Now, there are... Don't you have a car that runs on bone broth? That I feel like you're not... It's a Formula One racer, actually. If you would not want to put bone broth in a regular automobile, it would destroy the roads.
Starting point is 02:52:17 Too powerful, eh? Too powerful, absolutely. Some things I think are just so honestly true that you can't get past it. Like, for example, AT&T works with our politicians to prevent the rollout of high-speed internet, right? Like, that's a thing that's fucking us by big companies. And they pay, like, nothing to do it. Oh, it's so cheap. Which is the most enraging part.
Starting point is 02:52:33 Dude, I could buy a politician. Some of them are, like, 12 grand. Like, I could do that. Yeah. I don't know what I'd get, but, like, yeah. You get 25% of the United States uranium. What a scoop. 20%.
Starting point is 02:52:47 Oh, Kyle, don't overstate it. Yeah, they'll give away a fifth of our uranium. But who knows? There's probably plenty of that buried under there. We'll just keep pilfering around. We'll find some. We'll find some African nation. But the water-powered car, I don't believe you can hold back science so much.
Starting point is 02:53:02 I think you can just hold back projects and things. I don't know. And yet I'm sitting here with 15 meg internet. That's not science. That's a construction project. Those are easy to regulate. Yeah. But to Chiz's point, like right there, why are there no 100 mile per gallon cars?
Starting point is 02:53:20 That's true. It doesn't have to be that it's running on bark's root beer or water or something. Like, just making it so that gas was infinitely more effective. Oh, yeah. This is an insult to injury to old Kyle there. Get out of here with that. Get out of here with that. So I thought we were starting an hour later, and I was actually going to hook it up beforehand.
Starting point is 02:53:42 So you don't have it yet? I do. I have Sinway fiber. I was actually going to hook it up beforehand. So you don't have it yet? I do. I have Sinwave Fiber. So I've had a bunch of different fiber services from the different cities that I've lived in. AT&T was the fastest. It was true. $9.99. Yes.
Starting point is 02:53:58 Jesus. Up and down. And then I have Sinwave. And it's supposed to be gig internet, but's only 350 up and down and i'm doing it tethered and it's like oh but hey man you're paying for it right it's like 70 bucks a month i pay 250 i have two i have two 15 meg lines that are a couple hundred dollars each. I downloaded the new patch for Total Warhammer 2 today. I started it at 11 a.m. It finished up so that I had enough time to get a couple games in before the show tonight at 7 p.m. You know what's funny is I try to tell people why is gig internet so important,
Starting point is 02:54:44 especially whenever you travel uh if you're doing anything with video or uh editing transferring files and things along those lines i don't know if you guys ever use splashtop or anything remote desktop clients it's awesome man if you're out at the range and you want to pull you want to access your computer at home you can uh via your phone or if you're in a crappy hotel that doesn't have good Wi-Fi, you just get on your phone or on their crappy Wi-Fi and access your high speed at home and transfer files there. It's really, really convenient. Yeah, I got, so before I had gigabit internet, I had 300 up and – no, 30 up and 300 down.
Starting point is 02:55:26 So then I got gig internet, and it's the AT&T one. It really is that it hasn't changed my life at all. I wanted gig internet all the time. It was a big deal, and I was so happy to get it. I ran the fiber. It took months. And now, like, yeah, it's the same Netflix. It's the same YouTube.
Starting point is 02:55:43 Yeah, you say that. You say that. Now, go back to 15 up's the same Netflix. It's the same YouTube. Yeah, you say that. You say that. Now, go back to 15 up and down and see what you say. No, 300 down, 30 up. And even the 30 up, I feel like YouTube only takes about 30 up. My uploads are not much faster. 300 definitely. That's hard.
Starting point is 02:56:01 That's a hard one. But when you have a bunch of i mean you have a family i don't so if i i would say you might feel it at 300 to 300 but not i don't know the four of us use 300 megabits like that's a lot 50 i'd love 50 i'd love 50 down five up i going to mail you 50. I'm going to give you 50 of mine. I don't care. Put it in an envelope. You got any more internet? I would pay an exorbitant
Starting point is 02:56:36 amount. I remember when we first moved here, they've got, I want to say there's fiber at a school that's nearby. I was like, what if we put the fiber line in? And they're like, no, we don't install fiber. I'm like, no, no, no. I have a certified professional who can do it.
Starting point is 02:56:53 I'll trench the line. I'll buy the cable. He will lay it. And he was a professional. He had whatever licensing was required. He worked in the Navy. And he could do it. And they were like, no, no, I don't think so this is government money we don't need your deal
Starting point is 02:57:10 you can get via satellite yeah we're gonna get paid so you can go fuck yourself yeah i i don't think it could could compete with like like right now i think i have 20 down and like 1.9 up or something like that um i i don't think I could beat that with a satellite. The other thing about satellite is the latency. And I game. Everyone here understands latency. Used to be latency was a thing people didn't know. But yeah, just by virtue of how far it has to travel,
Starting point is 02:57:41 even if your bandwidth were hypothetically good, for a gamer gamer satellite's not good i got um i got one of those wireless uh things like a mofi device or something like that uh and i it was like shit was that shit 700 a month or something like that maybe it was something crazy like that and uh and and it couldn't even it couldn't beat what I have. I ended up wasting like $750 on that just on the hope that it would work. It was just a wireless card. No. No.
Starting point is 02:58:12 It's an expensive dice roll. It was. Chiz suggested it. I never asked him to reimburse me for his shit idea. Maybe I should. No! The device was $200. The service. Chiz says it was $200, you dummy.
Starting point is 02:58:29 False. Fake news. Fake news. News I don't like. Chiz, you're our fact checker. We need you to be on point. How are people going to trust our editorial point of view? I want to hear more of these Sean Spicer post-apocalyptic debrues. point. How are people going to trust our editorial point of view?
Starting point is 02:58:45 I want to hear more of these Sean Spicer post-apocalyptic debrues. You guys had a bunch of topics. You want to whip one out or you want me to? I had that cop killer that rubbed the shit all over his face, but I mean, that's kind of it,
Starting point is 02:59:03 right? The guy got into court and he he asked to go to the bathroom and when he returned he had shat all into his hands and he rubbed his face and smeared his own shit all over his own face I guess he's going for like a an insanity plea
Starting point is 02:59:20 but I think they're just gonna figure he's stinky you know and give him the hose. I kind of want to do mine just so you see him in the preview. Check out this dude. Oh, the farts? Man arrested after selling farts in a jar. Perfect.
Starting point is 02:59:34 I love it. I'll pay you to get that jar away from me. Look at this guy's neck. I can't see it. Where's his neck? It's like Jabba the Hutt. Dude, what's great is he had 150 jar all right man arrested for selling farts in jars without a vending license that's where he went wrong he was selling his fart jars and then he'll admit every jar was 30 fart 70 air but he can clarify
Starting point is 03:00:02 that to his buyers the man didn't have permission to sell those farts, so we seized them. The police took all his fart jars away. He used to sell about 90 jars per day. Many people are mad because now they can't have their sweet, delicious farts. This is bullshit. What was he selling?
Starting point is 03:00:19 Was he like a mountain man, and he's selling jars of mountain air or something? What's he doing? Oh my god. Ideas fun? The reason I say bullshit is because they said he sold 90 jars of farts. And it's hard to sell 90 jars of jam that you're making yourself. Alright?
Starting point is 03:00:39 If he had moonshine, I could believe it. Alright, maybe you sell 90 jars of moonshine. You couldn't sell one jar of farts. You couldn't sell one jar of farts. Dude, we should have PK bring farts and see how many go. He's on a high-protein diet. Richard, honestly, the one question that doesn't need to be asked is how this man is providing 90 jars worth of farts a day.
Starting point is 03:01:02 Richard, you're on keto, for Christ's sake. He's not on keto. I mean, a little whey protein. This guy's on the 90 carb, 5 fat, 5 protein breakdown. I read a story about there was some guys in a Mexican jail, and apparently the only food there was cabbage and beans. And they said that the guy who was on the top bunk asphyxiated in his sleep from the farts of the man on the bottom. I remember hearing G. Gordon Liddy talk about that on his radio show like 15 years ago.
Starting point is 03:01:34 He was death by farts. No, that didn't happen. That can't be true. Is there no ventilation, no AC in this place, no heat? It's Mexican jail, you know. It's just beans and cabbage. You can imagine how... Enrique, this is going to be the death of me.
Starting point is 03:01:52 That was the last thing he said. He was Canadian? Was that George St. Pierre? I'm tall back, I like it. A good Ontario boy wouldn't do something like that. He'd hold it in until the following morning out on the yard. Well, you guys are all single.
Starting point is 03:02:16 Maybe we should check out the next topic. Maybe I ended that one. I didn't mean to. What is this? The most sexually diseased. Yeah, this yeah this it ranked and it caught my attention because uh george is kind of representing here oh yeah man i didn't expect that i didn't expect the bible belt to really lead the league in stds but there you are i i what can i say even protection we don't believe in those uh in those devil rubbers down here.
Starting point is 03:02:48 We like to get after it, raw dog it, make it happen. No need for any protection. We also lead probably in teen pregnancy. I remember it would bounce around which county near me was leading the state in teen pregnancy. And just not wrapping it up, man. You got to do something about that. That's frightening, though.
Starting point is 03:03:14 Maybe I'll warm up. Number four. Yeah, Alaska's the worst. Yeah, per capita. I have to imagine Alaska's the worst. It's because of the scumbags moving to Alaska to escape the contiguous, right? It's from the oil deck people who are going and having prostitute sex.
Starting point is 03:03:30 Oh, yeah. Yeah, that's definitely it. Maybe it's high in the Dakotas, too. Let's check. It's a big military population in Alaska as well. Yeah, they're all fucking that one diseased lady who's on base. Utah's doing good.
Starting point is 03:03:44 Utah's doing good. Utah's doing good. It's Mormons. 46? Who beat Utah? West Virginia beat Utah. Well, we said all that by keeping it all in the family. Vermont is the cleanest. And New Hampshire is the second, of course.
Starting point is 03:03:58 Nobody getting laid. Free or die. North Carolina's sixth most. We're representing. Again, the Bible Belt just crushing it in the STD world. I wonder what STDs they're accounting for, you know, like specifically. I think the answer's in here. I saw it.
Starting point is 03:04:14 The top ten worst states all experienced a rise of gonorrhea per 100,000 residents. Who cares about gonorrhea? I mean, I'm pretty sure there's amoxicillin here to straighten that out. Just eating your chickens chlamydia the clap that's the one that you can just knock out with some amoxicillin a little penicillin gonorrhea too i'm almost positive i i know my stds we were talking about hpv the other day because um the chart at the bottom elucidates all this you know uh taylor lost his voice he had a bit of a sore throat and i was joking that hey you know from from going down on a girl you can get hpv and get cancer of the throat you can get throat cancer from eating pussy and he was like no way and then he's like googling and he's like
Starting point is 03:04:57 holy shit you can't get throat cancer from eating pussy that was true like kyle said that during the show and i was like, whatever. And then just by happenstance, the next day, I saw an article that was like HPV on the rise in young people. So I looked at it, and it was like, especially in young men who can get it from performing
Starting point is 03:05:18 cunnilingus on young ladies. And I was just like, oh my god. I always thought the only risk to going down on the girl is that it might be gross and i've like it's never been that bad but like you're this is a real fear now you're not gonna get throat cancer from sucking my dick to all our listeners out there that the human papillomavirus is serious business it causes cancer it'll make your dick shoot cancer basically so go get vaccinated for hpv it's two
Starting point is 03:05:47 shots and you're done and you're protected from getting it or giving it and all that good stuff make it happen you'll get no genital warts you'll get no cancer you'll be good you just muff dive all day to your heart's content absolutely Absolutely. You know, if you get it on your dick, you can get penis cancer. Do you want penis cancer? I'd rather have stomach cancer. That's the painful one. I would rather not.
Starting point is 03:06:15 Rectum cancer, what is that? Sure, if you're doing that, you know, if you're receiving anal sex from someone who has HPV, butthole cancer. That's how that works? How do sex from someone who has HPV, butthole cancer. That's how that works? How do you know if somebody has HPV? I didn't want to look up side effects.
Starting point is 03:06:31 First of all, there's not a test for men. There is one for women. So just go get vaccinated. Go get vaccinated. It's not a big deal. I mean, but if I already have it by some random chance. Well, you'll start and I got it and I got a oh, I thought it was the same thing that everybody had. It is absolute.
Starting point is 03:06:51 It's very common. There's there are dozens of kinds of it. First of all, there's lots of different kinds. The kind that causes genital warts is also the kind that causes cancer. So get vaccinated. That's the end all be all is like don't worry about which kind you have or if you've got it or not just get the two shots like and i'm not gonna go do it that sounds like a good idea i don't i've never even had a regular wart i can't imagine the surprise of noticing one on your genitals yeah you gotta cut them off we had a hope vaccinated when she was like 12 for that it's like a thing that I think responsible parents do. Good parents. Yeah. Most parents are not fucking heads up and smart like that.
Starting point is 03:07:31 Like, oh, it's a child. He's never going to have sex. You dummy. He'll be having sex in like three years. The point is to do it before they have sex. That's the thing. You know, my parents didn't even consider getting me an HPV vaccination when I was 12. They probably didn't know because they didn't have old Kyle here to tell them about. Dr. Kyle. Dr. Kyle here. It only lasts six years, Chiz says. So, Kyle, if you need to update that.
Starting point is 03:07:55 I get one every month. I've got my syringes right over here. If you come down, I'll hook you up. You know, just pop you. You're like doing the Princess Bride level immunization. Like the, you know, don't get in the battle of wits with the Sicilian!
Starting point is 03:08:11 You know, that kind of shit. Where you can drink an eight ounce juice glass of concentrated HPV and be good to go. But don't try to take any of his stash or he'll burn your face.
Starting point is 03:08:29 I've been building up a resistance to idacate powder over the last eight years. I love The Princess Bride. That's one of my favorite movies of all time. Fucking Rob Reiner directing that thing. You got Billy Crystal as Magic Mike or whatever his name is.
Starting point is 03:08:45 That's the stripper, right? Magic Mike was the stripper movie, but not in that show. Was his name also legit Magic Mike? I'm not positive. It's Billy Crystal's character, the old magician man who makes the chocolate pill that brings Carrie Ewells back to life. that brings Carrie Ewells back to life. We were saying the other day that Artie Lang looks just like, because Artie Lang is aging so poorly
Starting point is 03:09:10 and his hair's gone all gray, he looks just like the albino from fucking Princess Bride now. That reference is probably lost on most people, but he does. Whenever Kumya comes on, I'm going to point that out to him because he'll get that reference.
Starting point is 03:09:23 He knows the movie. Miracle Max. That's someone to ask you, Kyle. Miracle Max. Thank you woody yeah you listened to or i guess woody as well and i don't know richard if you listened to stern i wasn't a big howard stern give us both images yeah put uh put the other one up but i wasn't a big howard stern guy but i always knew artie was kind of known for being funny and he is apparently he's on the anthony kumia show now the aa show and he apparently like was just sitting doing a show one day and his nose just started gushing blood and he like just would step out for like 30 minutes at a time and then come back and be totally clearly out of it like
Starting point is 03:09:59 have you been watching that at all kyle? Like following Artie's kind of sad trajectory down? His hands have been bleeding. He's got lots of issues. Let me squeeze in his hands have been bleeding. I'm not sure what kind of complication it is, but he does so much heroin. Let me tell everyone about Movement Watches. Let me segue out of heroin. We'll circle back around to heroin. But Movement Watches was founded on the belief that style shouldn't break the bank.
Starting point is 03:10:25 The watchmaker's goal is to change the way consumers think about fashion by offering high-quality, minimalistic products at revolutionary prices. Movement Watches can complete your look whether you're dressing up or down. The company started by two broke college kids that wanted to wear stylish watches but couldn't afford them. So they started their own watch company. With over 1 million watches sold to customers in over 160 countries around the world, Movement Watches has solidified itself as the world's fastest growing watch company. Movement Watches started at just $95. At a department store, you're looking at $400 to $500.
Starting point is 03:11:01 Movement figured out that by selling online, they were able to cut out that middleman and all that retail markup providing the best possible price. Classic design, quality construction, and styled minimalism. Over 1 billion watches sold in over 160 countries. You can get 15% off today with
Starting point is 03:11:18 free shipping and free returns by going to mvmt.com slash pka. These watches are really nice. I've got, I think I got three of them now. I really like the black one. I think that's my favorite one. I just like the way it looks better than the others. That's what I'm into. So go to MVMT.com slash PKA. Join the movement. My wife saw their sunglasses on my desk they sell sunglasses too and uh she sequestered them and keeps them in her car and now they're hers
Starting point is 03:11:50 yeah i got a pair of those as well i like i like those too i uh i was wearing those today actually when i was pressure washing and pressure washing and stuff nice i like that power washing subreddit uh it's like power washing porn or something like that yeah it's like so they'll like take a filthy moldy deck and like turn it from filthy mold
Starting point is 03:12:15 to like beautiful glowing wood with a pressure washer and it's very satisfying to watch a gif of that happen or often times they clean half so the before and after is still there yeah I clean my garage doors today for like Or oftentimes they clean half, so the before and after is still there. It's pretty neat. I cleaned my garage doors today for the first time ever, and I did half of it first.
Starting point is 03:12:37 And I was almost going to take a picture because it was such a shocking difference. I've been pressure washing for, I don't know, two or three days now. I really enjoy it. Do you know your stats? It's a 3200 PSI DeWalt, I don't know, two or three days now. I really enjoy it. Do you know your stats? It's a 3200 PSI DeWalt, I think. I don't think it's anything fancy, but it never bogs down. I've got the full set of tips.
Starting point is 03:12:56 I don't know if that's... I don't know anything about pressure washers, but I've got multiple tips for it. And when I put the really fine one on there, I mean, it reaches up to the eaves of my house and blasts gunk and stuff off and like oil off of concrete and like uh if you're too hard on it they'll blow mortar off of brick uh it's it's all the power that i want like there was some grass grown up on one corner of my house and i cut the fucking grass down with it so it was powerful enough for that i couldn't use any more power i don't think
Starting point is 03:13:25 yours is what's the subreddit called power washing porn i think yeah there's two stats to look at one is the psi and the other is the flow the psi kind of determines what you can clean like can you remove paint can you break off mortar or whatever and the flow determines how quickly you can clean and uh that's about everything i know about power how many psi is yours i think it might also be 3200 um but like it mine isn't the the greatest and biggest or anything but it's like commercial quality supposedly like the pump is high end it's a honda motor um you know stuff like that i think mine's a dewall it's yellow yeah i know the wall makes one so i tell you what i like about it is with one hand i can i can drag it behind me and i
Starting point is 03:14:12 can lug it up some steps and stuff like that and i can pick it up with two hands and put it in the back of a truck um i would like a better one honestly because i've enjoyed it so fucking much that like i want to i want to continue to do it like i was thinking about you know always tell you that story about my brother-in-law when he got my half sister pregnant at 19 and like he was working three jobs and one of them he he saved up the money to buy a pressure washer and created a third job of pressure washing houses and i'm like you got it lucky this is fun i would have been really because like i bet a vinyl house that's like moldy like you described it like blasts right off like i'm i'm i'm blasting off brick that's never been cleaned before on like one side of my house and it's a little laborious
Starting point is 03:14:56 but when you're done i'm like shit i didn't know these bricks were this bright and red and beautiful it's i'm enjoying it it sounds it sounds silly oh and then it seems like satisfying work because you can watch in real time i got my dad to lift me up in a tractor bucket and i blasted out my gutters they got cleaned recently but like i was like i bet they didn't do a good job and like i put the full power of the pressure washer in the gutter and so much shit blasted out of there it's very satisfying very satisfying yeah yeah yeah i've been digging the pressure washer a lot cool yeah i i can't believe you guys like i would should never expect anything less from reddit but there's a subreddit for everything oh yeah for everything
Starting point is 03:15:41 i just like was grueling pussies i just looked at I just pulled it up and I was like I got to click off of this otherwise I'm gonna check out on the podcast I'm like I'm gonna be staring at this dude and everyone ripping him apart hey bro fucking pressure wash the edge of that fucking go all
Starting point is 03:16:01 the way to the edge otherwise the rest of the internet is gonna come over there and choke you I always wonder like who these because you were saying how there's a reddit for everything and there really is when i find like an obscure one i always wonder like who who started this and why like it'll be like just like a sexual or not even a sexual thing they'll be like cats high-fiving and that's it yeah it's just a bunch of cats high-fiving or like a lettuce that looks really reddit r slash r slash good looking lettuce and there's just like heads of lettuce that look good and it's like but why but why do any of these
Starting point is 03:16:40 things sometimes i see them get started in the comments like yeah someone will post something another guy will link it you know you just have to write like slash r slash whatever and it links it in reddit and it doesn't exist and it's like oh clearly there's a need for good looking lettuce subreddits and it just it gets born right there you know and someone makes it and then people have a the first one already. It's fun to see you catch on. That's capitalism. You recognize a need and you create it. It's like capitalism but without the money.
Starting point is 03:17:12 Which makes it not capitalism. Supply and demand. There's a huge demand for free. It's arguably the biggest demand. For free. I wouldn't argue against that. That's for sure. I'm about to cancel my Sling TV. Are you? Because it's just not good.
Starting point is 03:17:30 I was going through, I had some friends the other night, and we were looking for some college football game, I don't recall. I went through all of my college football stuff on Sling, and it was just a bunch of nonsense games that didn't mean anything. It's just not good. Do you have it, Richard? Or do you have real man tv because i think i'm going to go back to
Starting point is 03:17:48 real person tv just for sports funny funny that you bring that up um so when i was in nashville i had at&t uh giga uh with u-verse so it had that that cable package and i actually liked it because i could log in just about anywhere anywhere watching all the different channels and stuff but when I came full-time Utah I haven't um I haven't set up any cable so that's why I was excited to get Google Fiber a couple hours ago because I was like hey uh I want to check out YouTube TV I want to I want to see what this is all about because I like just trying the different services just so I can be an educated consumer and tell my friends
Starting point is 03:18:28 or whoever and everything. So as of right now, I don't. I just signed up for so AT&T has a thing where for $10 a month you get on your cell phone plan you get like TV services. It's crazy.
Starting point is 03:18:44 Like how? Like all the good stuff? I wouldn't say all the good stuff, but you get access to a lot of the major channels and stuff. So it's kind of nice. Just 10 extra dollars on your cell phone. It's not the $10. Well, it's partially the $10 because that could be cheap that way on recurring costs.
Starting point is 03:18:59 You get HBO for $10. That's pretty good. Yeah. That's pretty crazy. $10 isn't too bad for just getting bad. This sounds like a really good deal. But in general, it's way harder to get $10 a month out of me than like $1,000 once.
Starting point is 03:19:12 I don't like these bloodsuckers getting in there and that becoming our new minimum cost of living. But I have YouTube Red and I like that. I watch a lot of YouTube. How much is that? It's $10 a month. It might come with more, but there's two essential services one is the music you know so you have essentially every song it's not the best ui but youtube music and videos and
Starting point is 03:19:35 stuff and the other is i have no ads and um because we do this show and we watch videos and stuff i feel like it's unprofessional to have ads playing. That's part of my motivation for YouTube Red. Definitely. Yeah. Like, I could see getting, like, I'll do the same thing, I'm sure, and research a bunch of the other options for just, like, being an educated consumer. But, like, if you're a football fan, it's not that hard to get an NFL package.
Starting point is 03:20:01 If you're a basketball fan, not that hard to get an NBA package. If you like the NHL like I do, the only sport I care about, it is, the NHL's business is so fucking out of whack. Like, you can't find games no matter what sometimes. Like, you have to go on the internet and stream it because they don't have a deal with ESPN
Starting point is 03:20:19 and so they're on a bunch of bullshit nonsense networks. Like, it's annoying. It's like, I bought NHL Game Center like two years ago, and it was like, oh, you get every game you want to watch unless it's blacked out in your area. And I was like, whatever. I live in Idaho. I lived in Idaho at the time.
Starting point is 03:20:36 And I was like, there's no way they will be blacking out a St. Louis team in Boise, Idaho. Because the only, like, what a blackout means is that they won't play it if a local station is playing it as well nope nope just didn't fucking matter it was just a fucking dice roll every single game oh this is blacked out this is blacked out it's horrible what but i don't get it because blackout means your local game didn't fill out all the seats or something right that's what it meant in football why is it
Starting point is 03:21:05 in a it they meant like broadcasting blackouts so like if i lived in st louis and i wanted to watch a st louis blues game and it was playing on fox sports midwest then it wouldn't show up on nhl game center but if i live in fucking miami then it should show up on nhl game center because i'm in an area where it's not being shown locally. And it just didn't matter. It was just every third game, every other game was blacked out. It was like, I'm paying for this service. And it would be like paying for Netflix,
Starting point is 03:21:37 but every other time you went on there to watch a movie, it would go, oh, sorry. Sorry, this movie's blacked out in your area, cunt. Good luck. Netflix is losing us a little. So I go a couple years back. Stranger Things. Yeah, Stranger Things 2, yeah. I go a couple years back, and Netflix was a ridiculously good deal.
Starting point is 03:21:54 Like, I couldn't believe it. And while it didn't have every movie you wanted, it had the genre. If you said, I want to watch a sci-fi movie tonight, maybe not the one you picked, but there'll be one for you. It was cool. There was always something to see. Now, it seems like the shows that my family want so much, the Bob Burgers, the Futurama, are leaving. And my wife is
Starting point is 03:22:16 like, you know, I think we should either get rid of or cut back on Netflix and get something that has these shows we want. And Netflix, their direction seems to be go towards original content. Sometimes that's a hit, but there's just not... One, that's apparently what my
Starting point is 03:22:31 family wants to watch. Two, I don't re-watch Stranger Things again and again and again. I don't re-watch Daredevil. Hulu's good. Hulu's got a lot of shit on that. What's the ad situation? I want zero ads. It's whatever you want. I pay $11 for Hulu and it. Hulu's got a lot of shit on that. What's the ad situation? I want zero ads. It's whatever you want. I pay $11 for Hulu
Starting point is 03:22:48 and it's no ads. I've got Hulu and Netflix and Sling TV and Amazon, of course. On my Sling, I've got Stars and Encore and Showtime and HBO. I don't know.
Starting point is 03:23:03 So much shit that I like, I never... I'm never thirsting for more content. I have access to everything there is. And that means that I get to watch... Sling helps me save money on stuff because I no longer purchase every season of Rick and Morty or every season of South Park because it comes with a DVR feature,
Starting point is 03:23:22 so you just, like, eh, record them. And it shows reruns of them, so you can get it to record every episode of Rick and Morty. So now I have all of Rick and Morty recorded because they're always showing the reruns. And it'll hunt it down for you? Yeah. Whenever it plays, it records it for me. So I've got just all of that shit recorded now. And it was a huge amount of gigs and
Starting point is 03:23:46 gigs of space for like the base model sling tv is what you need man it's it's the it's the way to go and it's got you guys talking about ads though on um youtube red though i honestly the ads aren't as big of a deal for me as much as i travel so like i'll like i'll download you guys or Rogan or something like that, the podcast, and watch it offline while I'm on the plane. I guess I did know. Yeah, you download and watch offline with Red. Also, on mobile, you can play a video and then do something else. So if you don't have YouTube Red,
Starting point is 03:24:24 you wouldn't have YouTube Red, you wouldn't be able to listen to PKA while looking at your GPS. But with YouTube Red, you don't have to be in the YouTube app. And that's a killer feature for some people. Yeah, that is a great feature because I will listen to stuff that's on, like I'll listen to old ONA sometimes
Starting point is 03:24:40 and I'm driving around in lieu of a podcast, like I'll just find an old funny clip. But you have to leave your phone on the whole time and have the video playing and everything and it's like this this is kind of gauche this kind of old-fashioned and low class like I should probably just shell out and do it but I don't know it to have the GPS for me is a killer feature like that is a particular what I'd want to be seeing while there's a podcast oh yeah like mine it doesn't bother me as much because like i have a samsung and so as youtube is playing i can scroll the top bar down and it'll give me the directions without turning it off yeah i think the iphone has something similar but i'm in the
Starting point is 03:25:17 same boat as you with directions uh where i only know one way to get everywhere for the most part and so every time i move i have to relearn how to get everywhere and i hate it i like there's nothing that gives me a visceral to get lost on purpose yeah you come to st louis and get lost on purpose chiz yeah yeah yeah no i'm getting fucking lost here on purpose i don't know what it, when I drive, there's just a level of me that doesn't like, it's not interested in learning my way around it. Like I don't think of myself as an ADD person,
Starting point is 03:25:56 but with regards to learning my area, that might describe me, you know, like, yeah, I just don't, you know, if you had to drive to Walmart right now, do you know how?
Starting point is 03:26:08 Well, yeah. No. Not you. The guy who can't get to Walmart. Actually, if I had to drive to Walmart right now, I wouldn't be able to tell you where Walmart is. What about the local pharmacy? Could you drive there without any help? Yeah, I'd get to the pharmacy. Yes, that one's easy for me.
Starting point is 03:26:23 A Target is easy but um the pharmacy but the post office no i don't know whether i went there once i would say here's what i did like at one point i realized that i was like 22 years old and i didn't know my way around at all and uh a friend of mine was like you just drive you go out and you just drive in concentric circles and learn all the roads and make a point of trying to remember road names, like especially like major highways and intersections and stuff. And once you've got like the skeleton of the local tri-county area down, like, oh, yeah, this is Highway 77 and Interstate 85,
Starting point is 03:27:04 and this is Roy 77 and intersects interstate 85 and this is this is uh royston road or whatever once you learn your roads like like i can get anywhere from here like i can drive four counties in any direction and know where i am i had that when i in the place i learned to drive but uh not so much in raleigh yeah or in a pen Do you know how the interstate system works? Yeah. Do you understand the workings
Starting point is 03:27:32 of the interstate? Have we talked about this? I'm not sure what's baked into that. I stay on the right, typically. I know there's a shoulder. The numbering system. I'm sorry. It's getting late. I've sorry. I'm sorry. I'm like, you know, it's getting late. I've had a few blocks of cheese.
Starting point is 03:27:48 Usually if everyone's in the same direction as me, I feel like I'm on the right part of it. So even and odd, you have east and west or north and south. So even numbers go east and west. Odd numbers go east and west um odd numbers go north and south um and then three digits are generally bypasses and so if it is an even or an odd would dictate whether it connects back into the main so uh 110 number the 110 in la is a bypass of the 10 and it connects back into it. Um, and so the, I,
Starting point is 03:28:29 I forget how all of them work and I'm like, I'm on the internet talking about something I don't all completely understand. The routes are the opposite. Often even also even in odds, but they're, the rules are backwards. And,
Starting point is 03:28:43 uh, the thing here, the interstates, they're circles. They just do laps. There's a circle, 440 around Raleigh, and then there's a bigger circle, 540, that goes around 440.
Starting point is 03:28:55 Those are bypasses. They're bypassing, what, the 40? Yeah, I guess so. The interstate is 85 towards the 95. It's very difficult to tell if you're going north south east or west when you're in a circle because in a few minutes it's something else the answer is yes yeah yeah and uh yeah now now i know my way around but i'll never forget time when i didn't we did our first like big paintball meetup and there was this weird dude who had driven all the
Starting point is 03:29:21 way from like texas from texas not like texas he driven from texas to chicago to like hang out with us and play fucking paintball and so that was a little bit of a okay what's probably a super fan probably still watching and then he was like hey won't you come out of my truck let me show you my guns and i was like we're in chic Chicago. What guns did you bring? He's like, oh, I brought them all. I was like, maybe later, man. Maybe later we'll check out your guns. Before we knew just how weird he was, Kitty had invited him to dinner with all of us that night.
Starting point is 03:30:01 When it came time to give him directions to the restaurant, one of the paintball refs, like, when it came time to give him directions to the restaurant, like, one of the paintball refs was like, yeah, you just, there's this road in Chicago that makes one of those circles. He's like, yeah, you just get on the 444 and stay on it until you see this. And you can't miss it. It'll be on the right. The next, we never saw him. He never made it to Wings and Things. But the next day, he was like, man, to wings and things but the next day he was like
Starting point is 03:30:25 man i was on that road for three hours looking for y'all i i never did see that intersection i was like oh shit they could make us to giving you some poor directions he's like yeah yeah i never did find the right story is just it just made me sad for him yes i feel sad for him too he brought guns to chicago and he was nutty. He was a very nutty guy. Yeah, but it was Joliet, not real Chicago. He can't have them there either, I don't think. He brought a lot of guns. I don't know the kinds of guns he had in his car.
Starting point is 03:30:53 He had a lot of guns. In Illinois, they are sticklers about that. Yeah, I was going to say, I don't think I can carry in Illinois. Yeah, when I was doing my concealed carry permit or whatever, because it's easy to get lost in St. Louis and find yourself in Illinois if you don't know where you're going because it's just right across the Mississippi. You're in Illinois, and East St. Louis is in Illinois. And he's like, yeah, if you ever find yourself one of these guns, you're driving across the bridge. Not supposed to say this, but you might as well just throw it off into the water because you do not want to get caught with that in East St. Louis, Illinois.
Starting point is 03:31:29 And I was like, all right, noted. I'm not going to do that because that seems even more illegal than just turning around. But, yeah, it is not a good place for guns. They told us that, like, an ex-sheriff or something taught my concealed carry course. And he was a real country guy and I liked him a lot but he was talking trash about Wake County Wake County is like I don't know I say more liberal you know part of North Carolina and he's just like yeah you know you shoot a guy in Johnson County you're probably all right you shoot a guy in Durban you're probably all right you
Starting point is 03:32:02 shoot a guy in Wake County oh now you're in trouble don't say anything you hire an attorney this and that they're gonna look into it that was the thing he said you drag him to durham county first he didn't say that he was like if you go to these other places, the cops might just be like, yeah, well, this one seems justified to me. I'd have shot him, too. But in Wake County, guaranteed there's got to be a trial. You know, if you hit a worker on the side of the road in Illinois, it's 10 years in prison and like a $100,000 fine or whatever. If you hit
Starting point is 03:32:48 one in Missouri, it's a $100,000 fine. So if you hit one of these guys, you drag that fucker to Missouri or Illinois so you don't go to prison for 10 years. Like me. Wow. I don't think there's... I think in North Carolina, you're allowed to hit them.
Starting point is 03:33:04 As far as I know. Oh, wait. I think in North Carolina, you're allowed to hit them. As far as I know. Can you clear the roads? Fines doubled. I did see the sign. That's an issue. They might call it $500. Did you learn your lesson, Mr. Woodworth? Oh, I did. I did. I bet he did, too.
Starting point is 03:33:23 All right, enough said. Get out of here. That's funny. So, Richard, tell me about the coffee business. Is it about the coffee, the marketing? What makes a successful coffee business? Oh, man.
Starting point is 03:33:43 It really is the perfect storm in a lot of ways. Um, you know, there's so many different trends in the world of commerce, YouTube and all those different things. Um, and I think one, there's a lot of, a lot of creators out there that develop a connection with their viewers, but I think the key for a lot of us is how do we provide value to them and be able to monetize off of it and you know you got guys like evan who's our ceo and everyone within the company are just way too fucking humble to tell everyone how awesome they are how big of a badass they they are and were um and so it truly is an honor like to be business partners with some of these guys who have like like i wish i could talk about some of the pictures and things along those lines that these guys have shown me and how
Starting point is 03:34:38 like you know important you know their their times in service were so. So you have guys who are just the utmost outstanding character, but then you see how they apply themselves and their work ethic that is similar to ours, right? Where it's like, I know you guys bust ass, where it's like, you didn't get to where you're at without putting in the work. And it's frustrating to be in other industries or other businesses and see people who don't pull their weight and so there's so many different levels that's extremely refreshing to be around these dudes and it's that everyone they come to work and it's okay so you have you have good guys and you have people who have good work ethic and then you have somebody like Evan who is in Edwin, who is in our roasting, who's also an SF guy.
Starting point is 03:35:29 Just subject matter experts, people who know the industry inside and out, like what makes a good coffee? What's a good bean? Like what should our roast profiles be like? And so you build this customer experience. I feel like I'm saying a sales pitch and I've never actually talked to anybody about this before, which is kind of funny. Um, but you have, you have an extremely high quality product, right? Because we're, we're small batch, we're roast to order. And what that means is, you know, we don't roast a ton of product and just let it sit, you know, wait for people to buy. Whereas like if you were to buy Brand X, who's one of the bigger companies out there, they may roast that stuff and it goes sit in a warehouse
Starting point is 03:36:10 and then it gets shipped out to Staples or someone like that. I have a question. Is it all bags of coffee beans? Whatever you need. Whatever you want. Got K-Cups. And you can get that on Amazon Prime. I did Whatever you want. Got K-Cups. And you can get that on Amazon Prime.
Starting point is 03:36:25 I did not know you guys had K-Cups. So we can't compete with Amazon, right? So we ship them pallets of our K-Cups. And so you can get it next day or same day in some locations. And K-Cups isn't always the best representation of a coffee, right? So if you're a guy who wants whole bean and you're wanting to grind to grind it or if you want pre ground made a sale yeah I mean the the whole nine yards right so it's like and and what I've been working on the last few weeks is showing people all the different ways it's how to make coffee
Starting point is 03:36:55 we're gonna have all these different tutorials the brain on the site black black rifle coffee black right coffee yeah and I tell you it's just it's one of those things where customer service, you know, the outreach that the guys do, it's just the whole, the whole package, the whole system, the people, the product, everything about it. It's just, it's, man, I can't. Yeah. Well, hopefully you're going to dig.
Starting point is 03:37:20 I'm going to, I'm going to send you guys, I'm not going to spam you or anything, but I'm definitely going to send you the videos I've been working on because i'm super proud of them like like like it's really compelling stuff and the guys are just like again everyone in the company's too humble to talk about themselves so i want to be the guy who comes in and does it for them can you help me pick a coffee you made a sale okay so here's the thing here's the thing. I thought that I liked dark coffee, robust flavor. I took
Starting point is 03:37:51 all of our roast profiles and I put a sticker underneath the cups and I did a blind taste test. I wrote my notes and everything else. Come to find out, I wasn't full of shit. I was very specific about what I liked and I was consistent with how I graded the coffee. I like a lighter roast to darkest least.
Starting point is 03:38:11 So that's my profile. So Silencer Smooth, Gunship, Sniper's Hide are my three go-tos. And then you get an AK-47 Es uh just black beyond black and then murdered out is like our darkest roast i like i like like a french roast like like i won't say the i i guess it doesn't matter i use i drink eight o'clock uh coffee and i get like the french roast and i i like it i like it dark i like to be able to really i put a little bit of sugar in there and it's subjective everybody likes their own i want to taste it want to taste it. I feel like the medium roast is often kind of acidic. And it sort of, I don't know, it feels thin on my tongue or on my palate.
Starting point is 03:38:56 So I really like a dark. It tastes consistency. That's all we strive for is a quality product that's consistent. So that whenever you make that cup of coffee, it's exactly what you're expecting. Yeah. How much coffee do you drink? So because I'm doing keto, I'm doing bulletproof coffee. Yeah.
Starting point is 03:39:13 And a lot of people think, well, oh, you drink all these other people's coffees. Like, yeah, I want to know what everybody else is doing. It's like in no way, shape, or form am I like the sommelier of coffee. I'm not that in no way shape or form am i like the sommelier of coffee i'm i'm not that in no way shape or form but i i genuinely i genuinely yeah well we'll chat about that some other time but they're like i really i really appreciate you know it it is an art form like there's like no well no beating around the bush it's's an art form. Like how you roast coffee is a very, very specific product. You've done an excellent job with the packaging itself. This is like – it's a perfect, simple, minimalist kind of look.
Starting point is 03:39:56 Like there's not too much to say about it because it is coffee. People kind of get it. And it's exactly the consumer you're looking for. Like the gun's prominent. It's sharp. It's very good-looking's very good looking packaging. I like that. Thank you.
Starting point is 03:40:07 Are you on the way to having retailer meetings or anything like that? Or is that kind of down the road? So we actually have retailers. We have, I forget how many, we got a lot. I can get you a specific number, but we have retailers all across the country. I think we have like seven in nashville so it's like we have a good um you know a good amount um we're looking
Starting point is 03:40:32 for brick and mortar where we have actual yeah so like if you could get into fucking you know walmart for example yeah so we have over 500 retailers right now i know that um but uh we're looking to have our own franchises. So, uh, you know, we got, we got a lot of stuff in the work, but I want to keep tabs on this. This is really cool. Yeah, man. And I appreciate y'all's y'all's interest in it. Cause I, I drink a lot of, uh, coffee here lately going more to, um, you know, drip than, um, espresso. Cause I was getting a little too caffeinated there for a hot minute i was last time i was in la like uh that everybody was pat like there was espresso everywhere like they kept coming out would you like an espresso would you like an espresso and i got a nespresso machine which is like the mini k-cups that just make a espresso i fucking
Starting point is 03:41:22 love that and i i use my my keurig all the time. I've got, we have so much coffee paraphernalia here because like she does the French press thing. And, but there's also a drip machine. I think there's four coffee machines in the kitchen in there. So Mr. Coffee's are 16 bucks, right? So you have all these different elements in the coffee making process that affects the flavor profile. So again, I don't want to feel like I'm on a sales pitch, but I geek out on this where it's like the big difference between us being a small batch roast to order is that whenever you place your order online and you want ground coffee or whole bean, we're roasting that. And it's shipping out to you as soon as it comes out. It's being bagged.
Starting point is 03:42:14 And it's going to arrive at its peak flavor profile. Because if you get coffee right out of the roaster, it still has to off-gas, right? So it still has to take a little bit of time. So by the time it ships out, it gets to you, it's in its peak flavor profile. And there's all different kinds of ways to make coffee. You can use a Chemex, a Page Brews and things along those lines. If you go the cheap route, you will affect the flavor a little bit. The bleach filters and things along those lines affect the quality. But like I say, man, it's about that. It's about that routine. It's about that consistency in morning. It's like, it's one of those few things where I, it's just, I never thought that I would
Starting point is 03:42:56 be a coffee person. And then, uh, once I get the formal education from somebody who's way more passionate than I ever could be about it, it's just, it's something that you just, you can't get enough of. That sounds great. Well, I'm going to order some myself. See how it is. I'm excited. I love coffee. I drink, I didn't used to drink that much.
Starting point is 03:43:18 I used to have one cup a day, but lately I, you know, I mixed in two or three. So I'm a big fan. Yeah, well, I tell you what, I'll find out. I'll send you guys out some kits. Oh, nice. Because we have different ways of making it, and there's a very specific process if you're wanting the accurate representation of what the coffees are.
Starting point is 03:43:42 But I would say first let me know kind of what it is that you guys like far as um your your your flavor profiles or if you like bold or light and things along those lines i only drink like three or four cups of coffee a week maybe like maybe three but i just i don't add anything in it i just like it black just regular like so what kind should i get for that a lighter roast here's the thing is i've i've heard a lot of people say that they they're like you know i like i just like i like black coffee you know like i like i like a good dark coffee it's like okay well like most most of the time people will go to uh wherever they'll get their gas station coffee and won't be any wiser to what it is that the type of coffee that it is that they're drinking. So, you know, I say do some samples, man.
Starting point is 03:44:38 Like get a few bags and maybe we give you like the light, the medium and the dark and then, you know, trick yourself. Like just take the light, the medium, and the dark. And then trick yourself. Just take and say, all right, this is what I think. Just do what I did, right? Make all three cups and then just let it cool to whatever temperature it is that you like to drink it.
Starting point is 03:44:59 Switch it around and do a little taste test thing. Oh, I like this. Oh, this is acidic or whatever it is. I like the tasting notes on this. See, I'm intrigued by wanting to like coffee more because it's something you can drink. It's not bad for you. It doesn't have any calories if you just drink it
Starting point is 03:45:15 black without adding anything because I just don't like taking the time to add stuff. It just seems like it would be fun to know more about it and be like, oh, this is a fucking Turkish... See, I can't know, it just seems like it would be fun to know more about it. And be like, ah, this is a fucking Turkish... See, I can't even make something up. You can put stuff in there, girls can't taste it, it's great. Turkish is, that's a little bit of a...
Starting point is 03:45:37 I mean, you're talking about doing some work to make some Turkish. That's where those guys put that cup on a bunch of sand, and then somehow something happens and then they pour it in. You might want to start with a Chemex. Well, I ordered a sand pit off Amazon. A heat pit or whatever it is.
Starting point is 03:45:55 It's funny because I feel like the beverages in general, especially low-calorie ones or no-calorie ones like tea and stuff like that, I'm really starting to find an interest in that stuff. And just because I'm trying to consume less calories. And so it's kind of changing my palate a little bit too. We have a tea shop here that sells high end tea and it's really, it doesn't need sugar. And this is me from six months ago. I was a guy who really liked sugar in his tea.
Starting point is 03:46:27 But the thing is, it's expensive. We'll spend $200 on tea. That's a lot for tea, right? To me. But it doesn't need sugar. It's so good. Anyway. I love tea.
Starting point is 03:46:40 Let's watch this clown video since we're nearing the end of the show. The killer clown get beat up compilation. That's a good call. We would be remiss to not we're nearing the end of the show. The Killer Clown gets beat up compilation. That's a good call. We would be remiss to not fit this in before the end. There's a couple of repeats, but I mean, you know, you wanted to see him again anyway, I'm sure. All right, are we starting at the beginning? Killer Clown gets beat up compilation 2017. It was uploaded in 2016, so they're doing that thing where they just change the year every year.
Starting point is 03:47:04 Ready? Oh, is everybody ready? I'm all good zero I think yeah ready set go I'm hoping there's a little more actual justice in this one I actually get to see something this time what a piece of shit that guy is. Walking around with a knife in the backyard. Seems a little scripty. Get him! I think my dogs would make friends with the clown. I like how he's holding the fucking camera the whole time. Don't hurt me please! He's got Michael Myers teeth in him. I like how he's holding the fucking camera the whole time. Don't hurt me please!
Starting point is 03:47:46 He has fake news. I'm just trying to tell people that the led fuel drain over St. Ambrose shows are reigniting on Friday. Gah! He's got a fucking back ride. That's like fake news. Is he walking towards us? What the fuck is he doing?
Starting point is 03:47:57 Jeremy get him. Jeremy get him. Get him. Get him. Get him. Get him. Get him. Get him. Get him. Get him.- Jeremy, get him. Jeremy, get him.
Starting point is 03:48:06 Get him. I see, he's posing as a violent clown. He's just got a hockey mask on. He's like Jason. Not a very scary clown when you can just say, hey, hey, put that down. He goes, alright, alright. That's just mean.
Starting point is 03:48:29 That guy was a nice clown. It's assault. He wasn't a nice clown. He was standing there trying to scare people. It was Halloween to me or something. Nobody else, there are no other clowns. Hey, get the nunchucks for this nigga, bro. Nunchucks?
Starting point is 03:48:46 Are nunchucks an effective weapon? Do we know? Black people hate clowns. Black people hate clowns. You know what? This is... We need to get some funding for that research. We need to get some funding for that research. Um, here it is. Taxpayer free. I put it down.
Starting point is 03:49:02 This nigga's coming close, bro. Kick it, kick it. What's this? Hey, nigga's coming close, bro. Kick it, kick it. What's this? A is coming up. Let's fuck this nigga up! Alright, that guy deserved it. It's for you to like somebody's clothes and you want them to get beat down. No, but that guy was walking towards him with something in his hand.
Starting point is 03:49:27 He had like a bat. Maybe you're right. He's kicking him so hard. I don't know, I think I'm falling prey to your clown racism. The first 13 kicks I'm okay with. Yeah. Yeah. I'mma jump in.
Starting point is 03:49:43 Bro, how do I get ahold of this whole jump in but I don't get hold of both don't suppose clown underscore sightings on Twitter I gotta follow that yeah oh I follow them look they're going for a handshake this is the one oh fuck you were saying you can't even say you're not meeting the general every now and then a UFC fighter tries that the fake glove touch.
Starting point is 03:50:06 Yeah, that's so shitty. It's just a shoe and they're clowns. No, it's not shitty to do to a clown at all. Fuck clowns. That's not cool. Yeah, that's not cool. The gun thing's not cool. But everything else I'm okay with.
Starting point is 03:50:24 Hey, shut your shit down! Stop! Stop! Stop! Stop! Stop! Stop! Something's not cool, but everything else I'm okay with. I'm sorry you're getting those stunts! Stunts! You should not stunts! Stunts! Stunts! What? What? What?
Starting point is 03:50:31 What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What?
Starting point is 03:50:35 What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What?
Starting point is 03:50:39 What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What?
Starting point is 03:50:43 What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? Also turns out black people are much faster than the average clown. Big old shoes. TJ, TJ stop. TJ leave him alone. Wait, did that clown strike back? TJ, I'm about to run. The clown tried to get rid of him. ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Why is this? His mom was raped by a clown. What the fuck is wrong with you? Hey faggot, what are you doing? Dude, we took the fuck off.
Starting point is 03:51:28 Who's there? Stop! Okay, what the fuck? No, this is not fucking happening. What the fuck? This is not fucking real! This one's in the middle of the road. Ask him for it.
Starting point is 03:51:44 He has a broom? Yeah, but there could be razor blades in there. oh It's fun how scared they are except for this guy Oh my god! He is my fashion bone! Oh man. That was insanity. This is a new form of bigotry. I didn't know that I had. Anti-clown. That it's okay to have. No!
Starting point is 03:52:15 Finally. I always talk about what this world really needs to bring global peace. Is aliens or reptilians to come up, slea stacks or something. Something that all the races, creeds, ethnicities, nationalities can get behind and hate. The clown. My friend's a clown. But hopefully he'd
Starting point is 03:52:36 be one of the good ones and take the mask off and everything. There are no good ones. If he goes back on his clown ways and repents. Ronald McDonald and that's it. Because he's got that cancer charity like Ronald's house or whatever. Ronald McDonald is the only good clown. And McDonald's doesn't even bring him out anymore.
Starting point is 03:52:54 They shuffled Ronald to the back. To be honest, I think the Burger King is creepier than clowns. Well, they dropped him too. They got rid of the Burger King. The Burger King was pretty creepy in the end when he had the Guy Fawkes-looking chin mask and all that. They didn't care for it. It didn't make me think I'm hungry.
Starting point is 03:53:12 No. No, I did not want to get one of those crisp sandwiches or anything like that. It was just a little disturbing. Dude, I never get the fly. Kyle, I know you always get the special at these places where you're like, oh, they got the new Sriracha burger. Or, I'm sorry, Sriracha burger. Oh, I know you always get the special at these places where you're like, oh, they got the new sriracha burger. Or, I'm sorry, sriracha burger. Oh, good, man.
Starting point is 03:53:29 They got the new sriracha. I never try those fly-by-night nonsense entrees until they've been there for at least a couple months. So, I know. Wendy's had a spicy cheese one, I forget. We even advertised it on the show. Yeah, they sponsored us. Yeah, Fat Woody liked that thing.
Starting point is 03:53:46 Yeah, man, that was good. Wendy's has the Asiago Bacon Ranch Chicken Sandwich now that you can get in the spicy variety. And another descriptor. Here's the newsflash on Wendy's, folks. Wendy's has good bacon now. Wendy's got some good bacon. It's not that thin, bendy, rubbery
Starting point is 03:54:05 stuff. It's crispy, thick, wide strips of bacon. So like on their Junior Bacon Cheese Burgers, on the Asiago Ranch Bacon Chicken Sandwich that I get spicy. It's amazing. Very good bacon. Baconator. Baconator.
Starting point is 03:54:22 But I like to add condiments. The Baconator doesn't come with any condiments. It's just bacon, meat, and cheese I like to add condiments. The Baconator doesn't come with any condiments. It's just bacon, meat, and cheese. I add the condiments. Hmm. My mouth's watering. Kitty's cooking lamb and mashed potatoes out there. That's what I'm getting at.
Starting point is 03:54:35 It's 11.30 p.m. She's cooking right now. It's lamb time, baby. I'm going to eat some lamb. I'm going to play some Total War Warhammer. It's going to be a good evening. Evening's fucking over, man. I'm hungry to play some Total War Warhammer. It's going to be a good evening. Evening's fucking over, man. I'm hungry right now.
Starting point is 03:54:48 And when you're hungry, sleep is your friend, right? I will do the PKA post-production, and then I will go to bed, and that will give me a few hours of bliss of avoiding my hunger. I'm about to get started. I'm going to fill up on one of these zero-calorie seltzer waters. I was going to say, sometimes I'll pour a whole glass of water I don't even want,
Starting point is 03:55:10 and I'll chug it like a kegger or something, and it never makes me not hungry, but I do it. It helps a bit. It really does. I've got garlic rosemary lamb chops, like four servings because she doesn't eat shit. There's like five chops in there. She'll eat one. I'm eating the other four.
Starting point is 03:55:30 And she's making mashed potatoes, which will be mostly butter, like 50% butter, 10% sour cream, 10% cheese. And then there's some potato in there, too, I heard. Chop up some bacon in there. I'm going all that mouth's watering sit down play some warhammer with my uh i've got i got two bags of those doritos i ate the spicy nacho last night tonight i'm going back to the sweet chili lime doritos gonna dip those in my salsa because a lot of my case so and i'm definitely having some more i'm i'm hungry i hungry. Usually people that plan snacks for after upcoming meals are really fat. It's baffling.
Starting point is 03:56:10 You're like, I'm going to have this delicious rosemary potatoes and roasted lamb chops and I'm going to follow that up with a 2017 bag of limerita chips. Yeah, man. I put two Coca-Colas in the freezer. God, I want to eat something i've got i've got some
Starting point is 03:56:26 fucking almonds i've got some smokehouse almonds and that's all i have in there or i can make myself a turkey sandwich because i'm intentionally not putting things that i want to eat in here i put two regular coca-colas in the freezer uh when i went away from a few minutes ago so they'd be ice cold by the time it was time to eat so i could eat so i could just you know drink them both i want to be super chilled uh it's gonna be a cold by the time it was time to eat, so I could drink them both. I want them to be super chilled. It's going to be a good night. Make it a double. Just bring me out two Cokes.
Starting point is 03:56:52 I'd go through one with the meal. The other's for sipping on with my Doritos. It's going to be so good. The Total Warhammer 2 DLC came out today, so I've got access to all the races. Going to get in some play tonight.
Starting point is 03:57:08 Taylor, you need to get on at some point, whenever you can. We'll play some of that this weekend, hopefully. Yeah, I guess right after this, I'm going to have to start that download. Yeah, it'll take all night. What's your bandwidth? I don't know. I pay for like 50 down, 5 up. Oh, okay. uh i don't know i pay for like 50 uh down five up okay so it's not you know i'm blown the fuck out by both of your guys thing but i'm i'm doing all right compared to kyle but i bet the real life experience isn't too much different i mean obviously maybe better than kyle's but my
Starting point is 03:57:38 experience is when you do these downloads the website on the other side or somewhere is being limited yeah it i mean nothing i stream is ever fuzzy and everything comes up quick and you know it's good as i can hope for it's not a giant file but what's not limited is the pka upload of the mp3 version of this podcast so i kick that off and sometimes because the progress bar is so fast i'm not sure i did it it's yeah you'll be like i better do it again yeah yeah it had like if i'm not really paying attention and stuff it's just it it's less than two seconds i think but i used to do that with the uh youtube videos whenever i'd upload them on gig and you know how you try to set your tags and everything and it's like oh
Starting point is 03:58:25 shit it's done it's processing already oh yeah does it take your upload that fast it must not be that quick from at&t i don't think it no that's that's what i'm saying it's like it was it like like my file sizes would be around a gig or something like that and so it'd be like boom like 30 seconds it's up and so i'm like trying to get the description and everything and everything done before it finishes processing yeah mine's slower than that i don't get up to upload to youtube all that fast god kyle i am so hungry now i know oh my god kyle i can smell the lamb chops in here because she's been like searing them in there in the garlic and rosemary and salt and pepper. I got the highest quality lamb chops.
Starting point is 03:59:11 It was like, they were like $22 or something like that for five. But they were like so dark red and delicious and like just perfect little cuts of them. I don't know if you ever had lamb. It's so much more flavorful than beef. It's so good. And I'm not going to mess around with the potatoes. She'll get like a couple spoonfuls of mashed potatoes. I'm getting the whole bowl, the whole pot of mashed potatoes.
Starting point is 03:59:35 Just salt, pepper. I'll add some more butter on top so there's a melty pool of it in there. Garlic bread. I got some garlic bread in there I'm going to eat with it. This is not very keto just just tear the edges off the garlic bread and eat the center of it first and then dip the the crust in the and the lamb juices ah it's gonna be so good so good let me tell you what i two days ago so i had the uh my tooth taken out so i figured i needed to to live on an ice cream diet for a day, so I ate three large Frosties that night,
Starting point is 04:00:08 and then the next day, which was yesterday, I think. Was that yesterday? Holy shit. Maybe it wasn't yesterday. It was either last night or the night before. I ate two pints of Haagen-Dazs. All blends together when you're eating feasts at midnight. I ate two pints of Haagen-Dazs back to back.
Starting point is 04:00:24 I ate a pint of strawberry and then a pint of pineapple coconut Haagen-Dazs ice cream, which sounds terrible, but it was some of the best ice cream I've ever had. There was chunks of pineapple in there. I couldn't stop. I couldn't stop. I didn't even like the strawberry.
Starting point is 04:00:39 You must have felt ill after three large Frosties. No. That amount ofairy and sugar. I feel like you would just... I want to lose nine pounds by January. It seems like nothing. Richard Ryan lost 25 pounds in a month.
Starting point is 04:00:55 Would it take you to lose 25? Yeah. Whenever I cut out sugar and I get strict about my diet, I mean, 225, 230 pounds, it's pretty easy to drop that 10% in water weight. That's where I started. I started at 220. At my best, I was 197.
Starting point is 04:01:17 I think I'm currently 199 because I broke my leg. I live a really sedentary lifestyle now. I'm not supposed to spend much time on my feet. I guess it's just all diet. I don't know. I'll get it.entary lifestyle now. I'm not supposed to spend much time on my feet. So I guess it's just all diet. I don't know. I'll get it. Yeah, it's all diet. And diet is the hardest part.
Starting point is 04:01:31 Like working out isn't bad. I enjoy that. But not being able to work out and then be like, all right, I bought myself a whole bag of Cheez-Its and four beers. It's like, oh, no, you bought yourself a handful of almonds in effort, I guess. Just starve yourself for a couple days and you drop weight so fast. I don't want to lose muscle. Just keep working out.
Starting point is 04:01:52 Take amino acids. Take amino acids, yeah. That's what Tim Ferriss did, right? For whenever he would do his fast. You lose weight so fast. If you go three days and in that three days eat like two peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and that's it like yeah you'll you'll drop a ton away you know actually so that where was i where was i looking at this was that
Starting point is 04:02:17 was that tim i don't know but they were they they were doing uh holocaust studies right and so they took two different yeah oh yeah so they did the the different test subjects they they had people working out and then some of them they starved them and some of them they put on a low calorie intake and the ones who were starved actually made out better than the ones who were being fed low calorie because your body goes into a ketogenic state and starts burning its fat reserves. Whereas if you're getting a little bit of food here, as far as carbohydrates, you maintain that. Is it glycogen diet based or whatever? And so it just starts eating itself. And then the fastest way to get that is breaking down muscle. How long does it take to get into a ketogenic state?
Starting point is 04:03:10 So it varies from person to person. And so – such an idiot. But like listening to like Rogan and all these other guys talk about it, I was like, okay, before I do it, I want to go back. I don't want to listen to all these guys talk about it and see what pitfalls everybody else made. I got the little blood strips and things along those lines. I'm going to be strict. I'm not going to cheat. I'm going to fast.
Starting point is 04:03:34 I'm going to do light exercise and things along those lines. Doing the strips, it took about four or five days for my body to really start shifting to like 0.5. And now it's easy for me to take like the, uh, Kijinix, you know, like the, um, their, their keto drinks and stuff like that. And it'll put you in a state really quick. Um, but they say like four to six weeks of being strict about it and your body will adapt pretty fast and go in and out. If you want to do a carb day.
Starting point is 04:04:04 Four to six weeks is slow. No, no, four to six weeks, a lot. A lot of bacon. So like bacon, sausage, eggs, avocado. That is somehow like a trust fall to me. Like, all right, Woody. It is. You're eating lean meats and vegetables.
Starting point is 04:04:20 We're going to change that out. We're going to give you tons of fatty shit like bacon, and trust me, you'll be better. It's like, I don't know. No, so that's like Atkins and things along those lines where guys would get way too much protein. It's like you're not eating solely bacon. In no way, shape, or form am I going to cut out my cruciferous vegetables and stuff like that because you need those nutrients.
Starting point is 04:04:41 Those are the green ones? Those are the ones that kyle does not touch yeah so you gotta be careful like carrots like like baby vegetables and things along those lines like baby carrots and stuff will have a lot of uh carbs and sugars oh don't worry i don't need any of those either uh the only thing baby vegetables old vegetables young veg none of them but so us especially us us growing up in like the south or guys guys you know it's like protein i gotta get you know i just lifted bro i gotta get all this protein and stuff like that so it's a weird way to shift because it's easy to get the protein because you're you got chicken everywhere you got you got beef everywhere and things along
Starting point is 04:05:23 those lines it's the fat like the good fats, like avocado. You're not going to get 200 grams of protein a day keeping that same ratio of like 60-30-10 or whatever. All that I keep track of is protein and then making sure not too many calories. And then all the rest is lean meats and vegetables. But I also like bread and brown rice. Here's what I'll say, though. like bread and like brown rice. Here's what I'll say though.
Starting point is 04:05:49 Your health is definitely one thing, long-term health to take into consideration. So that's why I'm not super religious about any one diet or lifestyle. It's like go in and out of different phases. Let your body change and adapt as needed to keep it on its toes. But the thing that I've just been blown away with is the mental, like the cognitive function and like how everything's like increased for me.
Starting point is 04:06:12 It's like it's blown me away. I've never taken Adderall or anything along those lines. I've never, outside of caffeine, I've never really taken any stimulants. So I'm like, I can only imagine this is what it's like. really taken any stimulants. So I'm like, I can only imagine this is what it's like whenever you're, you're, you're taking in, uh, MCT oil, avocados, um, you know, coconut oil and stuff like that. Your brain is just firing on so many different cylinders. It's just, man, I, I just, I'm turning into that hashtag CrossFit hashtag water. The bestupada. Dude, but the best workout, the best diet are the ones that you do.
Starting point is 04:06:49 I know. It's really the truth. It's really the truth. People, friends and stuff like that, if we have a conversation, I try to tell them, man, I've had a pretty intense last few weeks as far as all the
Starting point is 04:07:03 different things going on that I'm trying to execute as far as marketing strategy, creative and production and things along those lines. And I know, you know, whenever I was in Nashville, I loved that coffee shop. I love getting those sugar drinks and it would always cause me to crash. I crash at noon, I crash at three, I crash at six. And then for some reason i get a shot of energy and i'd make it till 11 and it just my day was a roller coaster and now it's like from boom like 4 30 5 o'clock in the morning i'm just like firing on all cylinders and then till like 10 or 11 o'clock at night my energy level is consistent all day long and it like when you sit down to work sometimes you have like a fog if you're like are you sure you're not just enthusiastic about your new
Starting point is 04:07:51 job and life no because i did it i did it i did it while i was still doing other stuff too um and and so uh you know technically i'm not yeah this, this, this change was coming and, and things along those lines, but, um, there's a, like, I haven't had that, that crash in energy throughout the day. And yeah, there is something to be said for enthusiasm and placebo effect and things along those lines too, but that's the downside of Adderall, by the way, like at the end of the day when the adderall stops working there's a real crash and not just uh it's not just about the the energy crashing off and and petering out it's like your cognitive function goes it feels like your mind is walking in muck like like you're like whoa okay well i'm done for the day now i don't think i could do basic division in my head right now
Starting point is 04:08:46 like you're just really yeah so well that's the thing is i'm not and again i'm not as i'm not a scientist and i probably shouldn't speak to stuff in front of big audiences that i'm not fully understanding but like your brain your your brain, your brain operates better on, uh, on fats than carbs, right? So when you're taking an MCT and things along those lines, it passes through the blood brain barrier way, way more efficiently than breaking down sugars and complex carbohydrates. So your body's not having, your brain's not having to use all that energy just to get energy. And, man, it's just, I don't know. I guess I would assume everyone is different, but for me it's really worked out in a very positive way, at least for the short term.
Starting point is 04:09:39 And I promise you, I fucking love donuts. I love milk chocolate and stuff like that. So there's no way. I hear people say, this is me. I'm going to be like this. No, not me. You ever go to Krispy Kreme when the light's on? I went to Tim Horton.
Starting point is 04:09:57 So when we were filming the Lumberjack games here a couple of weeks ago, I was like, how am I going to be able to stay on this diet traveling? It's pretty easy. You get salads with a whole avocado, get some ranch or whatever on it and things along those lines. And I went into Tim Hortons. Tim Hortons is a bakery. It's like, geez, dude, any other day, I would probably be, I get a baker's dozen easy easy and i was like you know i'm good i'm good i know i've got a lot to do today and there's no way i'm going to be able to do it if i crash especially being a host or on camera and things along those lines like i gotta be even keel i
Starting point is 04:10:37 gotta be on my toes for sure those burgers where you use a donut as the bun. Ah, so fucking good. That's a step too far. Just eat it on a regular basis. You've never had it. Don't knock it till you try it. It's so fucking good. You grill that shit together. It's just like, ah, it's sweet and salty. Ah, it's so fucking good. And with good bacon and, ah, man.
Starting point is 04:10:59 Alright, enough food talk. I'm gonna have to have like a handful of almonds and imagine you mowing down on a bunch of lamb chops. Dude, those Krispy Kreme donuts are when they're hot. Get some coffee, dog. I'm not tempted by sweets in the east. I want the fucking lamb chop, though.
Starting point is 04:11:15 I have a bowl of almonds and pistachios mixed together that I use when I want to help me make it to the next meal. And I saw this Joe Rogan episode where the lady came in, she seemed like some sort of expert, and she talked about how a lot of it has to do with your eating window. You know, if you can shrink that to like eight to 10 hours, then you're better off. And she seemed to think the science of it implied it was the eating window. You know, how much time your body
Starting point is 04:11:42 is spending processing, you know, like is the shop open to be doing me dealing with food or dealing with fat and if you even it was the same amount of calories if you grazed all day long on it she thinks your body wouldn't burn its fat it would exist on the calories so now things like having a you know a half a handful of almonds at midnight before I go to bed is like well fuck now that seems off- almonds at midnight before I go to bed. It's like, well, fuck now that seems off limits. Now you can just go to bed hungry, burn fat all night,
Starting point is 04:12:10 go eat your almonds. Intermittent fasting, what you're talking about is a way to get into the ketogenic state. So that's, that's, I mean, that, that helps a lot.
Starting point is 04:12:21 I mean, that's what my window is generally from about 11 o'clock in the morning to like six and in the afternoon, more realistically speaking, it's about noon. That's a short window. Noon to 6 PM. You have a six hour window and then the other 18 hours you don't eat.
Starting point is 04:12:37 Yeah. And, and, and I'm not hungry. I'm not hungry. You know what I'm going to do? I'm going to weigh one 90 in January. That's what I'm going to in the morning. You know what I'm going to do? I'm going to weigh 190 in January. That's what I'm going to do.
Starting point is 04:12:47 Yes. Drink two glasses of water with your almonds and pistachios. That'll help wash the fat through you. That's how science works. I tell you, the water was the big issue for me. I didn't realize how much water you have to drink because carbohydrates, you know, are essential for like that water retention or absorption or whatever you want to call it. But, you know, I'm having to drink a gallon and a half, maybe two gallons of water a day
Starting point is 04:13:16 to be able to stay hydrated. It's pretty crazy. I try to drink a gallon a day. Yeah, a gallon, I think, is a lot yeah a gallon i think is a lot uh it's a good sleep schedule is this is a big deal i think a dozen of these a day and i don't know how many what's that is that cores diet pepsi it's uh it's mostly water in there it keeps me healthy there's a lot of not water in there there. Caramel that's the crux of it. I want you guys to check out the bag of coffee whenever
Starting point is 04:13:53 I send it to you too. You'll get a kick out of the ingredients. I'm looking forward to that. I would really like that. Just so you know I took a little second to get on the website. And I was like, no, I'm not going to be the fucking dude to plug stuff and not provide some type of value to you guys and the viewers and everything. So I actually put in a coupon code on the website for 15% off as a coupon code if you put in PKA.
Starting point is 04:14:24 Awesome. Yeah. PKA. And that's BlackRifleCoffee.com. Yeah, in PKA. Awesome. PKA. And that's BlackRifleCoffee.com. Yeah, that's it. So I was like, fuck it. You guys need a discount. That's awesome. We appreciate that. I look forward to trying the coffee out. I ordered some
Starting point is 04:14:37 myself already, but I'll take whatever I can get. We like coffee around here. Yeah, and I want to get you guys instructions too on the different methods and see if you notice any difference in taste or what. Yeah, I'm going to do a little blind taste test. I usually like a French roast, something pretty dark, and I like a lot of flavor in there. I really hate light roasts and medium roasts usually.
Starting point is 04:14:59 Like I said, it feels kind of liquid, like water on my palate, and it's too thin, But looking forward to trying it. I occasionally have coffee, but I'm thinking of stepping up my game. I could be a better version of me. Well, here's the thing. We also have a decaf now, too, called Inert. That's not what I'm looking for. Okay.
Starting point is 04:15:18 I thought you were saying you were like cautious about like the coffee intake because of the caffeine or something along those lines that'll up his heart rate he'll burn more calories it's good for him it's like almost as good as smoking cigarettes if you want to hit 190 you smoke a pack of Marlboro's a day
Starting point is 04:15:38 problem solved I bet it would be yeah absolutely I did right just smoke them for a month then quit solved. I bet it would be. Yeah, absolutely. Heart rate. Look, just smoke them for a month, then quit. No big deal. Crystal meth? Doesn't that look good? I mean, Adderall is not.
Starting point is 04:15:56 We'll start with the coffee strategy, and then we did the PKA fitness thing, and so maybe we'll start a regimen where it's like we all smoke six cigarettes a day. And we'll see how it goes. Leave some feedback in the comments. Appetite goes down, heart rate goes up. I don't see a problem. We got caffeinated as fuck, too, as a roast.
Starting point is 04:16:14 Or calf. Send me that one. I'll try that. Sugar-free Red Bull over here. Or Monsters over here. So, like, that most white trash drink of all time. Well, I decided to dress the part. I only have Monsters when I have long drives
Starting point is 04:16:35 and I feel like they're a safety drink almost. Yeah, man. But I could do coffee instead. You guys want to call it a show? Yeah, we could do that. do that are there any parting words there are none other than to check out all of our sponsors down below smart math square space movement watches the walking dead mobile game of course and uh check out richard ryan and all the things he does you want to plug anything else richard anything you want to help me check i just
Starting point is 04:17:01 i fucking appreciate you guys having me on. I love it. Chiz hit me up, and I'm like, yes! I want to catch up. I want to see what's going on and everything. Because it's like very seldom do I get an opportunity to just sit down. I'm technically not disconnecting, but I am because I get to have a conversation for four hours. So I really appreciate these uh these moments that we get so you want to see my broken ankle yes hold on let me see
Starting point is 04:17:30 it's like oh look at that scar though wow the scar from like another two feet away i couldn't even tell like faster stronger yes I had this idea for a paramotor return video that starts off with the bionic man thing I've been taking little clips of me doing physical therapy for the last two months putting together a montage thank you the six million dollar
Starting point is 04:17:55 they made a billion they're doing a movie but anyway who's going to be the six billion dollar man aren't they doing a Princess Bride 2? Oh, don't remake Princess Bride. That's dangerous. Yeah, that's a classic. I feel like it holds up.
Starting point is 04:18:13 Except for the unusually large rodents. I feel like that section was weak. The R-O-U-S is please. That's the line from the show. Rodents of unusual size. Okay, PKA episode 358 I enjoyed it that was it

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