Painkiller Already - Painkiller Already #359

Episode Date: November 10, 2017

This week on PKA, RockOn1m1 is back after many a years away, Woody shares the situation with his neighbors dog and the violence he may have to administrate to that dog, Mueller has some indictments sl...amming on people related to the Trump campaign and RockOn eats a VERY hot pepper on the show.

Transcript
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Starting point is 00:00:00 Painkiller already, episode 359 with our guest Rock On 1M1. Kyle? Yeah, a couple sponsors tonight. We've got Dollar Shave Club, MeUndies, Pocket Gyms, and a special word here from Redbox, it seems. Video games are super fun and super expensive, and once you bust open that plastic, you're stuck with them. That's why Redbox lets you try out the hottest new games risk-free. Right now, you can rent Call of Duty World War II, Middle Earth, Shadow of Earth, WWE 2018, and more. Text PKA to 727272 for a free one-night game rental. Redbox, a smarter way to watch and play. Offer expires December 31, 2017.
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Starting point is 00:01:15 So, Rock On. I was not on the show as a host when you were on last time, I believe. So, give me the Rock On crash course a bit. I mean, I'm nobody of any particular relevance in the social media space, but I used to have a very small YouTube channel
Starting point is 00:01:35 where I did Call of Duty videos, as everybody back then, and scary games. I helped edit two PK episodes, which the audio got messed up. One of them was the famous drunk episode, which by the way I have to thank you for because it's actually quite hard to audio sync, but there's
Starting point is 00:01:53 certain words that make it easier and one of them is cunt. So the fact that you said it that many times was actually quite helpful. Is it because like words that end in a harsh consonant? It's just one plosive, right? Exactly.
Starting point is 00:02:09 It is that and the flip knife that made it that much easier. But anyways, I eventually disappeared from YouTube. I couldn't really balance work and social life. Since then, I've bought a flat, gotten married, bought a dog, quit my job with a bit of FU money, and I have a beautiful baby girl that was born on the 1st of September. She was born a month and a half premature, so that was freaking terrifying. And now I'm kind of back on Twitch.
Starting point is 00:02:34 How premature did you just say? One and a half months. Okay, okay. So premature, but well within modern science. Exactly. Everything above 33 weeks is considered safe-ish. But the way it happened was so sudden that it is absolutely terrifying. Normally when you have a baby that's premature, you're supposed to inject the mother with steroids so that the lungs get like a quick start.
Starting point is 00:02:57 There wasn't time for that. So all the time I was there and I was picturing my daughter being born with, you know, just dead. So it is kind of. But you cared. I mean, you didn't even know her yet or anything. Yeah, exactly. I'm like your friend. I had an experience just like that.
Starting point is 00:03:16 Where like my DiGiorno pizza, I had already taken it out and started cutting it up. But the crust was still soft. But it was still good it was still fine right but it definitely wasn't fully cooked yeah yeah it's a trap like okay so that's how it would look okay for next time i know okay you guys firing with both barrels i was gonna go soft on the premature baby talk and both of you just came in way ahead of me and all right it's gonna be that kind of night i'm ready it's actually quite funny because uh i mean i mean we see er uh graze anatomy and all the all of the like fucking movie series so you're ready for medical terms
Starting point is 00:03:57 and uh when when the nurse came over she where it's she had my wife had this machine to detect um contractions so we came into the hospital because she was feeling ill and I kept seeing the machine go up to 20 30 it was a 30 minute it's like analysis so the nurse wasn't in in the room for all the time and she didn't really explain what the numbers meant so it went up to 20 and I'm like what does that mean clearly there's contractions but you can't even get a nuke in Modern Warfare 2 with that, so it's fine. We're not at nuke level yet.
Starting point is 00:04:28 Then it went up to 50 and 60, and the higher it went, the more pain my wife felt. So I went out and asked the nurse, can you come in? Because, you know, all of this is happening. And she was an Italian nurse, which they're notorious with the Italian woman when they don't want to tell you something and kind of look at you sideways. So she came in. She was looking at the readings and the machines and and my wife had a contraction right as she came in and she was explaining how she was feeling and I was like is is it okay we're not having the baby today and she yeah everything's all right and and she says okay we're gonna stop this and i'm gonna look inside uh the vagina to see how everything looks like so she puts on her uh that's how we got in this mess
Starting point is 00:05:10 exactly she put on her gloves and i kid you not she looks inside and immediately goes she prepared the room i could see the baby's head and i'm like wait what and that's that's literally how it happened uh 30 minutes later my baby was born wow like that so did no drugs no drugs no nothing she had the laughing gas but my wife was so nervous she didn't even um i kept saying do you want the gas you want the gas because i really want it uh she She was like tunnel vision. Sometimes if it goes really fast like that, it's like too late for the drugs. I'm out of my depth, but that happens. So I don't know. I was actually quite annoyed because the one thing I told my wife I want to try is the gas.
Starting point is 00:06:04 It's for the wife, but I was like, hey, no, normally don't take drugs, but I'll take some of that. I've never had the laughing gas. All my dentistry's always been a local. It's nitrous oxide, right? That's the actual chemical? Yeah, it's the dentist stuff. It's outstanding, but very short-lived. That sounds even better,
Starting point is 00:06:20 honestly. Yeah, exactly. They call it laughing gas, but is that a misnomer is that do you really get giggly and like no i'd rather have a drug not last soup i'd rather have a drug that doesn't last long enough than one that lasts too long too long like because there are times you know where you're just drunk and you just like woody knows this feeling when you're lying on your floor after our last drinking episode and you're probably woody knows this feeling when you're lying on your floor
Starting point is 00:06:45 after our last drinking episode and you're probably thinking like god there this is there there are hours to come there are hours to come of this where i'm not going to feel good for a long long time whereas like even salvia those videos of people smoking and they just become retarded for like three minutes and like stumble around their garden or whatever they're doing or try to start a car. Even then, it's like, alright, that looks horrifying and terrible but three minutes from now, they're going to be still pissing their life away
Starting point is 00:07:14 but not high. What did you say? Salvia? Salvia. Remember the YouTube videos of that were big like literally ten years ago where it was just like they never made salvia illegal because i guess the government looked at it and was like well that's no fun like we don't need to do that like we may as well make it illegal to stub your toe intentionally they seem to overlook
Starting point is 00:07:35 salvia or something like like it it these people look pretty high but it's oh yeah it's like two minutes does that sound right yeah yeah nitrous oxide, you're euphoric, so you're very happy. Just everything's fine. And not able to process. Like you're taking everything in on a delayed basis. You could sneak up on me in a clown suit with jingle bells on your toes, and I just wouldn't be attentive enough. You've gotten that guy down.
Starting point is 00:08:06 That's how doctors rape their patients so our dentists rape their girl the other women there oh i think i saw that remember the movie the dentist it seems like he like he like got the chick all fucked up and was like like getting real grabby with her going all harvey weinstein mode when i was young you got to choose it was like hey do you want the gas or do you want novocaine the needle and it was like why does anybody pick the needle? Why? Why would anyone pick the needle? The gas is outstanding and no needle, which just seemed like win-win.
Starting point is 00:08:36 Maybe some people like allergic to it. Oh, yeah, and allergies, that too, yeah. That could be. I don't know if that's a common thing. Are you able to drive after you get the laughing gas when i was a kid i i would think so because it seems to be completely gone in you know whatever minutes like it just you it ends you know they have to keep giving it to you they have to find the right like potency you know they mix it with oxygen yeah i've seen in the movies
Starting point is 00:09:03 and such you know they've got yeah and if they, I've seen in the movies and such you know they get yeah And if they pull it off your face in like two minutes you kind of back to normal So the one in the hospital lasted for 15 minutes, so you have to kept taking it after 15 minutes You did results a system. Did you get to try any guess well? That's a thing No, I mean the only time I had the access to the gas was while my daughter was being born So I would have looked like a complete dick. Your wife would have been livid probably. Did they separate you guys when the baby came?
Starting point is 00:09:33 I would have another chance. Did they separate you for the baby or did the both of you go to the delivery room? No, I was with my baby all the time except my wife. My wife stayed in the room so that they let the placenta go out and everything, whatever they did. Oh, you didn't stay to watch the finale? Wait, that's not what I came for.
Starting point is 00:09:55 I came for that. Oh, it looks like a boy or a girl. Looks like an orangutan. A jellyfish. Oh, you gave birth to a jellyfish. What the hell? My friend, they did birth to a jellyfish. What the hell? My friend, they did a tub birth at home
Starting point is 00:10:07 and I came to his place the next day. Maybe two days after the tub birth had happened and we're all like out by his truck and you know, if you're hanging around a pickup truck, everybody kind of leans up against the bed and talks over the bed. And there's a trash bag in the back
Starting point is 00:10:24 and I'm, what's that? He's like, oh, that's the afterbirth and the placenta and everything. I'm going to use it for bear bait. I mean, leave nothing to waste. Some people eat it. In some cultures they eat it as a form of good luck
Starting point is 00:10:39 and nutrition for the mother or whatever. Websites with placenta recipes. That's in shit cultures where they're so starved for calories that they convince themselves like, you know, it would be a real shame if we did not eat this. Like, no.
Starting point is 00:10:54 It's normal. We have had meat in weeks. Oh my god. Four ways to eat placenta? Alright, thank you Chiz. I'm going to take a look at this. As we look at that... Alright, so here's the scenario. You have to eat your significant other's placenta.
Starting point is 00:11:11 How would you prepare it? How would you want it prepared? And you're eating the whole fucking thing, by the way. All of it. How do you mean? Method of cooking? Yeah, I want mine deep fried. Battered, deep fried.
Starting point is 00:11:24 And I want to dip it in that that spicy sauce that you get at uh outback steakhouse that you dip the blooming onion in you've i mean are you i mean if you're gonna have a placenta you're describing a pretty tasty placenta aren't you a little interested now in kyle's famous placenta i i had to disable my fucking ad block for this women's health. So let's see. The first suggestion is the placenta smoothie.
Starting point is 00:11:51 Why would you do that to yourself? How many fucking smoothies do you have to eat to get down a placenta? That's so many. Add placenta pieces along with half of the orange juice into your... What is with this bullshit site? I'm sorry, but I do not believe that picture is the actual placenta smoothie.
Starting point is 00:12:09 I imagine it's something much more gory. That is probably just a strawberry smoothie. Yeah, I mean, they probably searched for... They're tricking you. ...through Getty Images and Shutterstock for placenta smoothies, and they're like, oh, apparently these companies don't employ complete sociopaths like they do at Women's Health. Placenta chili? That's just lose-lose.
Starting point is 00:12:28 What kind of bullshit is that? That one you don't even add an ingredient. You just mash it up and throw it in a... Oh my god, I don't like chili as it is. Placenta chili can't be any better. Wait, wait, what is this? Placenta lasagna? Placenta truffles? Placenta truffles have caught my eye. A little coconut oil, some cocoa butter.
Starting point is 00:12:44 Kyle, you could do this. Kyle's best effort. I don't like truffles have caught my eye. A little coconut oil, some cocoa butter. Kyle, you could do this. Kyle's best effort. I don't like truffles. Well, see, Kyle, it's really simple. Step one is you grind your placenta in a coffee grinder until it's very fine. You may need to do it in several batches because it's not meant to be ground. It's meant to support a little baby's life. Place a fine mesh strainer over a large bowl and strain your placenta powder into the bowl.
Starting point is 00:13:04 How many steps into this do you get before you're just like, this is out of control? Before you vomit? Yeah, before you just yank. I just feel like all these things would be better without the placenta involved. Yeah. Yeah. They would. Here's a thing.
Starting point is 00:13:16 How about a smoothie with no placenta at all? Just find better recipes. Does Martha Stewart have one? I doubt it. Emeril Lagasse has one. Bam! How old is your baby girl now? Thick it up a notch.
Starting point is 00:13:35 She's two months. What are you streaming on Twitch? PUBG and other games. I streamed on Halloween Evil Within 2. But mostly PUBG. Are you good at it? I'd like to think so, yeah. I other games. I streamed on Halloween Evil Within 2. But mostly PUBG. Are you good at it? I'd like to think so, yeah. I win games.
Starting point is 00:13:50 I'm not Shroud. Who's Shroud? He's a professional Counter-Strike player that now plays PUBG. It looks like he's got hacks, but he doesn't. It's crazy. It's like you're watching Nate Schott or something. I play Counter-Strike, but in PUBG, that analogy.
Starting point is 00:14:10 We've talked about the menstrual blood cooking. See, that makes... That's wrong. The placental thing maybe makes sense if you're in a culture where you need a bunch of calories right after birth. But the period thing thing it's like now you're just being a dick like people in developing countries aren't even doing that right they just actually so we went to some uh birth classes or something like that in the uk where essentially parents go to learn how to be parents and the the midwife that was teaching the session actually
Starting point is 00:14:43 mentioned that her daughter kept the placenta in her fridge, and every day she would go home and say, what are you going to do with that? He's like, I'm going to eat it, I'm going to eat it. And eventually you have to throw it away because it starts to smell. So some people actually do it in developed countries. They should have arrested that woman immediately. They should have. What the fuck?
Starting point is 00:15:00 They should have said, you're not a fit parent. So we had to find a new birthing class because that lady was insane. And that's when we stopped. So I don't know how to be a parent. Oh, my God. That's just disgusting. I don't understand that at all. I can't even wrap my head around the idea of that.
Starting point is 00:15:16 Is it supposedly packed with vitamins and nutrients that the mother needs at that moment that can't be gotten through a regular supplementary process? Like, I don't think so. Yeah, go walk through the produce section at Walmart for one minute, and you can pick up more nutrients than are in this. By the time it's come out, hasn't it been pretty much sucked of nutrients? Because the babies
Starting point is 00:15:39 grow... This is science, right? You forgot it's a premature baby. There was a good month and a half of food in there. That's a genuine point. Let me run this by you. There were six weeks of... What if you had access to placenta after birth
Starting point is 00:15:56 and you discovered that these were all placentas from premature babies and therefore they had stem cells in them. Lots of stem cells. And, lots of stem cells, and that if you ate them, you would get a huge boost to your gains when you worked out.
Starting point is 00:16:11 Like, this would be better than steroids with no side effects whatsoever. Like, you'd get... You'd immediately be lifting 20, 30 pounds more in a week if you ate a placenta. Do you think you could get on board then? Oh, I... You were halfway through the description, and I'm like, yeah, I'd have a placenta. Do you think you could get on board then? Oh, you were halfway through the description.
Starting point is 00:16:25 I'm like, yeah, I'd have a placenta, man. And I would find one good recipe. I'd probably make it the same way I make turkey bacon, where I just cut it into slices and then just cook the shit out of it until it's not even recognizable as a placenta and then hide it in a bunch of other food and then eat that, like in a fried rice bowl all mushed up and not mushed up like crisped up because the thought of eating that i don't even know if i want to click on cooking up placenta that chis linked
Starting point is 00:16:54 horrible but yeah if if it made you like jacked and virile and like you start growing again be like yeah sure fuck it i'll eat some placenta and i'll be happy for it wouldn't you yeah yeah i'd eat it yeah we'd all we'd all eat the placenta if that were the case if there were actual like benefits that you couldn't get somewhere else you'd do just about anything if you know but there aren't you're just eating a disgusting piece of another human being i mean it's i've talked about cannibalism and how i'm down especially in an emergency scenario but like i don't think i don't eat a good part of a person not like innards like i don't even chicken liver waste i'd rather eat like a human thigh than oh my god i'm watching that video just on me in the background of this conversation yeah it's
Starting point is 00:17:43 called cooking up placenta if you want to watch at home and this this asshole is walking around with his camera in his kitchen it's got a bunch of diced up like uh onions and stuff and he's picking up his choice of olive oil like as though as though this is normal what you're doing here oh this is my garlic press is it how many people are in your basement right now you're a man that's a good line you're gonna eat my placenta he has the cord oh god wow it'd be more appetizing to eat the baby and like i said you barely know him so yeah that's true i't get on board with eating a baby like like i i would eat baby like it's like the ethically slaughtered baby okay like like we're talking about that's not actually moron at all free range baby oh okay babies of cages they're out in the pasture crawling around
Starting point is 00:18:38 like like they're supposed to be if they spent six weeks with like alphabet blocks and you know getting ready for the slaughter. Well, let's not get crazy. That's like the Whole Foods baby. The other ones are the ones where they're like, it's free range, but really it's in a cage that sometimes the wind blows nearby. That's free range, I guess.
Starting point is 00:19:00 Yeah, I would definitely rather eat the baby. Because at least the baby has flesh that's all put together you know this looks like it's already been i bet baby cooked like have you if you've ever had veal i i love veal like it's a little fucked up to think about what it is but uh if you go to like a nice italian restaurant and get veal oh it's so fucking good it's so tender just just cut a little ah it's better than filet mignon it, it's so fucking good. It's so tender. Just cut a little. Oh, it's better than filet mignon.
Starting point is 00:19:27 It's wonderful. Just imagine baby. Yeah, well, it depends how good human is. Because I bet if we started off with baby, we'd never be able to switch to adult human. No. Because it'd be like, yeah, you know, you get it. Well, I'm not going to make a habit out of this. It's just, you know, once a year kind of a celebratory meal kind of thing. You eat a baby.
Starting point is 00:19:47 I wonder if I type how do babies taste if eaten if I'm gonna appear on some type of blacklist. Is it wrong that I wouldn't want to eat a black baby? Yes. That's so racist. I don't even like dark meat chicken. That's so racist. Dark meat chicken's the better meat. Well, I mean, it depends who you're using it for. Oh, yeah, you're racist too. You're both racist. Dark meat chicken is the better meat. Well, I mean, it depends who you're using it for. Oh, yeah, you're racist too.
Starting point is 00:20:07 You're both racist. See, yeah. I'm like alt-right racist and I'm like CNN racist. I watched Silicon Valley and they're like, do you watch interracial porn? And he's like, yes, trying to prove he's not racist. Black girl or white girl? He's like, I don't know. Which one's less racist?
Starting point is 00:20:27 I'm like, I don't know either. Whatever comes up. Stop bothering me. Dude, let's segue into the 4chan thing. I think we've got 30, 40 more minutes of fetus, placenta. I'm kind of hoping we don't. You started to mention the 4chan thing in the pre-show and i said stop stop stop because i don't know what you're referring to and you guys seem to think it was very funny so one of you want to lay it out uh sure either one of us kyle me i think you
Starting point is 00:20:59 may know more about it than me i know that they posted those signs everywhere and there was an uproar that's that'sar. That's about the core of it. Somewhere along the way, 4chan decided to poke at Social Justice Warriors and I really like the way that they did it. It's okay to be white. That's the sign.
Starting point is 00:21:18 They're putting papers up where that's just printed, magnets, stickers, etc. They put a lot of rules around it. Only put it on public things. They don't want to be vandalizing people's private property. And it just says, okay to be white. And it's popping up on college campuses and stuff like that.
Starting point is 00:21:34 And people are reacting just like the bait would have them. Here's a tweet. I'm seeing this all over. This is disturbing that it's okay to be right. I'm going to be that bitch that writes not in between it's okay. If I see this, so they write it's not okay to be white.
Starting point is 00:21:54 It's okay. If you're on the fence, not sure how to feel about this, it's okay to be all racist, right? Yeah. That's the point. But they're putting this. People are like, fuck out of of here i definitely tore this down they're they're responding it's pretty funny i i love it what a bunch of assholes like but if it's so predictable of course they would get offended it's okay and i like that message because it's so benign, so inoffensive, and so boring that it only could be offensive to someone who has so few actual problems in their life that they have to compartmentalize and be like, oh, this is actually an issue.
Starting point is 00:22:34 I'm a first world college student traipsing about a campus, and I see this sign that I don't like. Who cares that I saw a sign two seconds ago about some LGBT public dildo party or whatever they're going to do. Nobody cares about that. But it's okay to be white? Of course they get offended. That's pretty funny. And you know what? I bet most of the people who got offended were white.
Starting point is 00:22:57 I bet. I don't know. I bet. I'm putting my money on people of all races being white. I think their common denominator – I will say this. They were probably mostly Democrat. I'll go out on a limb for that one. I'm always the guy representing the blue team around here, but we are not without our flaws.
Starting point is 00:23:18 And anyone who's upset over this message isn't getting – you're not processing this right you know it you're getting trolled first of all yeah yeah first of all like step one you're a fucking idiot you you just are gobbling up some clear troll and two you're kind of revealing to everyone that you're a piece of shit person who who sees race before everything else yeah Yeah. You're making it. If you write, it's not okay to be white. That that's just as bad. If I saw it's okay to be black,
Starting point is 00:23:50 I wouldn't flip out over it. And that, that's really the litmus test I put myself in. Like if you can flip it and say black or Brown or whatever, and it's okay or not. Okay. That's what I apply to white. I don't like,
Starting point is 00:24:01 um, does he have a sea fighter? Uh, Kane, what's King Velasquez who has Brown pride tattooed on his chest. I don't really like that. I don't like, um, you have a sea fighter, uh, Kane, what's, Kane Velasquez, who has brown pride tattooed on his chest. I don't really like that. In English. Yeah, in English.
Starting point is 00:24:12 It's not in Spanish or anything, yeah, but it says brown pride, and I, so I flip that, like, if it said black pride or white pride, would that be okay? Whatever your answer is, I feel like the rules should be the same for all the colors. And to me, I'm thinking it's not okay.
Starting point is 00:24:29 But if it was okay for all colors, then I would be on board with that too. Anyway, it's okay to be white, no different than it's okay to be brown or black or yellow. I think you should be able to get black pride, brown pride, white pride across your chest, whatever you want. But all it really is showing is you're kind of a loser again it's like it's like if i got a tattoo that was
Starting point is 00:24:51 like beard pride or brown hair pride it's like you didn't pick that asshole you should be accomplishments you know there's there's no fucking printout that hidden in that placenta that the baby you know check marks and figures out what they want to do like no you just you don't get to pick it and so when you glob on to something that you are by it's like when you see uh like the the actual neo-nazi marchers and you're like jesus christ this is like the bottom percent of white people yeah like these are not good looking white people and it's like oh of course well like they must be like well i don't feel very good about myself and so i'll just take pride in, like, the accomplishments of everybody else in my race. Yeah, yeah, white pride.
Starting point is 00:25:27 Like, it's the same thing. Something about 4chan. I'll go a step further and say, even if it was offensive, like, I just miss the 90s where it seemed that people didn't get as offended with everything. It just, even if it was something stupid or an insult, like, I wouldn't give a shit. It was harder to bait back in the day but man lefties you're too easy to troll you're not you're not putting your thinking cap on before you decide whether or not you should be outraged or not that's that to me is the core of it oh and i was
Starting point is 00:25:59 gonna say this 4chan is not huge right you know but god they can be effective sometimes and that's what blows me away you know they're like hey let's uh rig some vote on what a street should be named and there's like 12 very motivated people yeah and then bode mcboke face is born, you know? Yeah. Or like, Shayla Buffs thing. Yeah, exactly. Oh, that was hilarious. That was good. This white, it's okay to be white or whatever,
Starting point is 00:26:32 that ranks lower to me on the 4chan prank list than the Hitler did nothing wrong Mountain Dew flavor. That was, that made me laugh so much. And it was just funny because there was like a year period like
Starting point is 00:26:46 five years ago or whatever where so many companies were doing online polls trying to like up their their traffic and their brand awareness and everything and then people just mean-spiritedly ruined it and that's funny to me you know like hey these people are looking for suggestions like cherry blast let's tell them hitler did nothing wrong oh that's good shit yeah yeah you're right they need to pick their battles better because like nobody is won over by things like this like nobody sees that who's not already died in the wool on that side and is like wow that's a good point you know it isn't okay to be white like all you do is drive a wedge between a further wedge between them and the rest of us and it's mostly the young people like i just saw elizabeth warren you know it isn't okay to be white like all you do is drive a wedge between a further wedge between
Starting point is 00:27:25 them and the rest of us and it's mostly the young people like i just saw elizabeth warren say like you know how the the left is sometimes prone to shut down say milo or ben shapiro when they want to speak at a college campus elizabeth warren came out and she's like stop it stop it you make yourself look terrible you make it she's doing like what i do which is like look i get that i'm playing for the blue team lately but god we've got some idiots on this team don't we you know and she's like stop shutting down you're you're just proving them right don't be that guy obama said that too he's like that when you shut them down all that like so in those people's heads who are shutting down speakers like ben shapiro calling ben shapiro a jewish guy like a nazi that's great like in their head it makes a lot of sense but even to like elizabeth warren apparently she looks at that and it's like oh jesus christ like don't they doesn't don't they
Starting point is 00:28:15 know that everybody who looks at this goes oh that's the side that doesn't have an argument in this situation because they have to shout you down like usually if you have to shout someone down you don't like you're in the wrong. It's not good. But this prank is excellent. Ben Shapiro's compilation videos are fucking awesome. Which ones are? The compilation videos where he's destroying
Starting point is 00:28:34 social justice warriors. Yeah, he's great. He's very informative. He's quite witted as fuck. Yeah, undoubtedly a smart guy. What is that, Kyle? That's Papa John john's i think is pulling their uh their nfl sponsorship deals because of the protests hurting sales i uh i saw that and
Starting point is 00:28:54 i also saw how disingenuously it was reported so they pulled their pizza advertisements obviously papa john's pizza and uh And immediately everybody's like, they're pulling it because they hate black people and the protesting. And it's like, well, how about we take like one step back for a second before we all spaz the fuck out and realize that this is a giant business.
Starting point is 00:29:16 And if they were still getting returns for how much they were paying for their NHL or NFL advertising, they would continue. Like no company out there is like, man, I would totally advertise on Fox News, but I hate Fox News. It's like, no, they're fucking advertising there
Starting point is 00:29:31 because they want to make money. They're advertising on Fox and NBC, on all these places, if they have a product that appeals to them. I mean, pizza appeals to everyone. Walkers or, I don't know, depends. Walkers, depends. Arthritis creams. Look, I really find it interesting when you go to, or I don't know depends arthritis creams
Starting point is 00:29:45 I really find it interesting when you go to I watch CNN and Fox News and you see the difference in advertisers on them on CNN I will say there are a lot of antidepressant ads on Fox News there's a lot of ads for walkers
Starting point is 00:30:01 and for life insurance and for vinyl siding and for Sunsetter outdoor awnings it's all stuff that old white people need I was gonna say Sunsetter outdoor awnings you say this thing extends you've got shade person another one it goes back I mean we got a window by the kitchen the Sun just pours in it'd be perfect That's what the guy in the commercial says Like like Paxil back-to-back to Prozac where it's like everything upset you We've got a solution. How would you like to feel numb all the time?
Starting point is 00:30:43 Yeah, I thought that was weird. But like you said, when companies stop advertising, it's because they're not getting or generally it's because they're not getting a return anymore. Yeah, I think that with the NFL in particular, we've had this big decline in ratings for whatever reason. I personally think people aren't
Starting point is 00:30:59 as commercial tolerant anymore. They just don't want breaks. It's multifaceted. It's a lot of things coming together, making the NFL ratings ratings dropped i agree with your point like like people are not as commercial tolerant and if you look at the amount of commercials uh the ratio of commercials to actual football that you get in an nfl game it's outrageous i heard a heard someone on the radio talk about the other day and i was like oh my god you're getting like seven i'm just off the top of my head but you're getting like seven minutes of football and then like eight or nine minutes of commercials and then seven minutes of football and then 12 minutes of commercials like whoa this sounds awful
Starting point is 00:31:31 I I would much rather watch online for free like I already do Just fast forward through all that bullshit. Yeah, yeah, and of course the concussion thing There's plenty of people who are not happy about that you had the Will Smith movie that came out a couple years ago, and then all of the research that's coming out now. You've got parents saying they're not going to put their children in there, which I think is going to really take effect in eight years from now, ten years from now. Because the high schoolers that never went into football are never going to make it to college, and then are never going to make it to college and then are never going to make it to the nfl i think in 10 years you're going to see a decline and like maybe you don't see records broken uh the way that they're being broken right now in 10 years because there's fewer players going into those sports and maybe maybe some of these guys become swimmers and you see that six foot five
Starting point is 00:32:18 black guy who's just killing michael phelps records even if it's not them diverting into other sports i feel like people who played high school football could be football fans for life that will just never get into it. Yeah, yeah, that's that's a very good point. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. So you think it's going to be a transition to like the safer sports like basketball and baseball? Yeah, basketball, baseball, tennis, swimming, like like soccer is growing in this country slowly but steadily, you know? I mean, Atlanta's got a decent soccer team, I've heard. I'm told.
Starting point is 00:32:53 I'm told there's a soccer team about here. They're out there running around, kicking a ball in a stadium somewhere out in Atlanta. I don't know much about it, but that's what I hear. I heard Raleigh might get one. They're going to put a stadium in some area now that's currently, like, blight. And I feel much like, you know, I'm not involved at all. So I'm like, yeah, you should totally do that.
Starting point is 00:33:14 As long as I don't fuck with my traffic and I can still fly over that area, I'm good. Yeah, it just seemed cool. I was like, yeah, it sounds like... I saw the aerial plan for it. It goes from this... What now is probably, like, like I saw the aerial plan for it. And it goes from this, what now is probably like a scrap yard for cars in the city and some gangs. And they're like,
Starting point is 00:33:31 this is what the after will look like. And it's beautiful landscaping and an arena. And like, we're a little worried the rock like songs and the get up enthusiasm will go beyond the stadium. And I thought, well, that seems fine to me because it's just surrounded by other like commercial places and they look like a great improvement to the
Starting point is 00:33:49 city i hope they do it i hope it doesn't cost me a penny which is what the paper said yeah yeah do you think soccer would ever get big in america not nearly as big as the sports we already have it's yeah it's uh it's it's a little our sports are pretty aggressive I feel like in soccer isn't you know there's a lot of and you see this in there's a lot of that yeah I like something I fucking hate that people people faking injuries what do you call it diving yeah diving flopping flopping that's it yeah flopping is the term that we use often. And when you see that, when you see this montages of it on YouTube of soccer players flopping. People getting shot and yeah. Yeah, it looks like they just took a 12 gauge or something.
Starting point is 00:34:34 Like the guy, I saw one where the guy flicks the other guy's ear. And the guy's like, ahhhh! I've seen that. See, they need more public shaming. That's another lesson they can take from the NHL. Where sometimes, if you get high-sticked, you know, that's a penalty from the guy high-sticking you. But if you get hit in the face and you start bleeding and you go down like you got shot, even if you're still bleeding, the ref will come over and be like, yeah, two for high-stick and then two for embellishing, yeah?
Starting point is 00:35:00 It's not that bad. And they throw you in, too. And they fine you for it, and then they publish it, and they shame you. Like, oh, look at this hoser. I think it's not that bad and they throw you in too and they fine you for it and then they publish it and they shame you like oh look at this hoser it gets popular on youtube what sports you think this is a lot of irish it only happens from the opposite team the team you only complain about it when it happens in your opposite team when it happens to you it's like let's not speak about it let's not speak about that i think they should have cameras i like the idea of having having cameras and just stopping the game like no look i didn't hit him just stop one second i like the instant replay and every single sport that it's
Starting point is 00:35:33 and i like more of it over less of it like one of the things that's always irked me about baseball even though i grew up that when i was most into baseball we we had pitchers like uh like greg maddox and Tom Glavin, and those were guys who really picked at the corner of the strike zone. They were experts at that. That's how they got into the Hall of Fame. But they threw a lot of balls that got called a strike. So I was like, that's all right, do what you got to do.
Starting point is 00:35:58 But now I would be like, I kind of wish that there was a fucking, I don't know, the technology that would be required. Maybe there's a sensor in the goddamn ball and there's some sort of a sensor around the plate. Like the strike zone is a defined thing. That doesn't exist already, though? It exists in tennis. It should exist in baseball. The strike zone is 100% the umpire behind the plate and there's no getting around that at all. But I feel like the television,
Starting point is 00:36:26 I don't know when I watch YouTube videos and stuff and I don't watch much baseball. They tell you whether the ump got it right or wrong. You know, they'll draw the box and they'll show you exactly where the ball went. Sometimes they will, but that's not any kind of real evidence and it's not accurate enough for, for the games because the strike zone is a three dimensional thing that
Starting point is 00:36:42 changes from pit, from batter to batter. You know, it's your knee to the bottom of your letters and it's as deep as the plate is long and then that shifts because the plate isn't a perfect square. It's sort of a square with a triangle on the front.
Starting point is 00:36:56 So they would need some sort of technological advance that I'm sure we could do. Couple cameras triangulated or something. What they do in tennis is when there's ever a doubt, the player can say, hey, I think that was in, and they'll show a recreation of the ball with cameras all
Starting point is 00:37:11 around the field, and it actually shows it by a millimeter whether it's in or out. I feel like in a game where millions of dollars are on the line, and you've got huge fan bases back and forth, it'd be nice to get the fucking calls right, and if it slows the game down a little bit more like i mean what's what's the big deal i was going to talk about slow the game afford to slow baseball down here's the thing like and taylor
Starting point is 00:37:34 you watch hockey so maybe like in hockey if their goal is contested in some way they do an instant replay i find that period of slow to be suspenseful and interesting like it if the instant replay is coming back on whether or not some guy's foot was in bounds or whether or not the ball the puck crossed the line i'm usually on the edge of my seat for those instant replay results i'm not like tapping my watch wishing they were faster so it may slow the game down technically but see i get that with the sport like hockey where there's not a lot of goals scored. And so, you know, if a game finishes 3-2, like, at most, at absolute most,
Starting point is 00:38:14 that would have been five reviews that they had to do because they weren't sure, or maybe a couple were iffy and then a couple challenges. But in baseball, like, if every fifth pitch is getting reviewed, it seems like that would take forever. See, the way it would work is, every time the pitch went over the plate, if the catcher catches it, a light would go red or blue. Just eliminate
Starting point is 00:38:33 the umpire going, or whatever he fucking says. Just eliminate that bullshit. I hate the umpires in baseball. I feel like they're fucking Nazis. They abuse their power. Absolutely.
Starting point is 00:38:48 Those guys are cunts. I hate the way that players can't have to be tiptoeing around these jerk-offs. I've got it. We replaced the umpire with just a cameraman standing behind the catcher. No, no, no. You keep the umpire, but you don't show him the results. So if he calls it wrong, he gets shit on by everybody. Oh, I'd like that. Oh, so he has no purpose to get shit on.
Starting point is 00:39:11 It's just a test all the time. Maybe the umpire gets three wrong and he's out. You're out of here! Yeah, the super ump who sits in the back. And you know what? The regular ump, you should have to have his home address printed on the back of his jersey.
Starting point is 00:39:28 Just in case. I'll see you after the game, Mr. 821 South 5th Street. Oh, fuck. I take the result. That's too late. It could get better and better. At first, when he gets wrong, it reveals his phone number. And everyone can text him. The second one gets wrong wrong, it reveals his phone number. And everyone can text him.
Starting point is 00:39:46 The second one gets wrong, something else, his address. It's me, buddy. Never mind. This past World Series apparently was one of the, like Game 6, or Game 5, I think, in particular, was said to be one of the greatest World Series games of all time. I didn't watch
Starting point is 00:40:03 it, but I saw the highlights and the box score, and I think Chiz watched it, and he hates baseball. He was like, that was a great fucking game. I think it ended 13-12 in the 13th inning or something like that. Was this the Astros' first one, their first win? Astros and Dodgers, it was Game 5, I believe. No, no, I mean, was this this the Astros first World Series win? It was their first World Series win, yeah.
Starting point is 00:40:27 Well good for them, I'm glad LA lost. For a Spanish guy, is baseball still growing? I have no idea. I don't follow it. I can't be. Like when my friends start talking about baseball, it's so fucking boring. I don't know any of the players' names. I know Yadier Molina for the Cardinals and that's it how long is a normal game two hours would be a very quick game four hours would be a very long game so three hours is about about in the middle really I have that sounds short I'm
Starting point is 00:41:00 gonna look up stats are you right or I guessing? I'm just going off, you know, nothing. How long is this NFL game? Like four hours, NFL? Three hours? Kyle was, oh wait, that was out of date. Let's see how long were they say. In 2000, Kyle was really right. Two hours, 58 minutes. I don't know if it got longer or shorter though. Maybe it's just because baseball is not that exciting they're about to get shorter on average because i i think i read that they're eliminating uh you know normally
Starting point is 00:41:30 when you want to intentionally walk a bat a batter because of the situation or the batter's prowess or whatever you have to actually throw the four pitches out of the strike zone but i think they're eliminating that and you're just going to be able to like you know take a base and send them on which i don't like because one of my favorite highlight reels is when you try to intentionally walk the guy, but professional pitchers aren't always that great at throwing way outside the strike zone on a big looping throw. So, like, the batter reaches out there and clubs a single into left field or something like that.
Starting point is 00:41:59 I really enjoy those highlights. Kyle was right. It's about three hours. Looked it up. Well, I mean kyle is our resident baseball expert he is actually yeah i mean you hate being the baseball expert in this crowd who else would it be i uh i'm on baseball fans i'd be a real novice when i was like i guess it was like 14 a kid at my middle school or high school whatever it was at that age uh at like nobody talked about autism at the time at that it just wasn't a thing it was at that age uh at like nobody talked about autism
Starting point is 00:42:25 at the time at that it just wasn't a thing it was like all add and adhd putting kids on and so like there was this kid who fucking loved baseball like you could ask him like i would do this routinely i'd be like hey ben what was the name of the pittsburgh pirates second string right fielder in 1974 and he'd be like that would be Eric Winston and did he play only for the Pirates? He'd be like no he left in 76 to play
Starting point is 00:42:56 for the Padres and at the time I'm like man that's pretty neat and then looking back just now I'm thinking about it like oh that guy was fucking autistic as can be how could you possibly know that? And's your address oh i don't know the guy who drives the shorter bus takes care of it yeah what's your address yeah dude so ufc 217 is the saturday it's the same day that this goes up. Is it 217? Do I have the number right? Yes, you do. Okay. And it's a big one.
Starting point is 00:43:28 There are three championship fights. The middle one is Cody Garbrandt versus TJ Dillashaw. And Cody Garbrandt is such a fucking meathead. I remember we talked about it before, and Kyle was like unaware of how this guy's IQ might be 85.
Starting point is 00:43:44 Like, he's so stupid. I'm standing by my opinion. What I said there. I'm saying it's all a character. In the background, he's putting on some fucking bifocals and flipping through fucking ropes or something. And so TJ Gillishaw used to train with this guy.
Starting point is 00:44:00 Another gym offered TJ money to train there as a sort of a draw. So he left and he brought the coach. And anyway, it's a reason that people from that gym hate TJ Dillashaw. And Conor McGregor called him a snake and it's this whole thing.
Starting point is 00:44:16 Anyway, so Cody Garbrandt is arguing with TJ Dillashaw at the press conference. And it's cracking me up because Cody Garbrandt is a fucking moron. And he's saying stuff like, dude, you're on steroids. And TJ Dillashaw is like, right, I get tested all the time. I'm not on steroids. I've never been tested positive.
Starting point is 00:44:35 He's like, what are you talking about? You're the guy that taught everyone at our gym how to take steroids. You're fucking right. Wow. Yeah. I like that. He's discriminating himself. You showed me how to take them. Yeah. He like that. You showed me how to take them.
Starting point is 00:44:48 He said that. He said that. And then they start arguing. Cody's like, how often did I beat you in training? And Dillashaw's like, never. Yeah, exactly. What? You were terrible at this.
Starting point is 00:45:03 You mean it. Cody Garver gets stupider every time i see him talk and uh he's a very badass fighter i might i think i he's he's favorited in the fight is he favorited i i i he's he's been my pick for weeks he is one of my top favorite ufc fighters i like him uh i like the really flashy guys like like not necessarily my I like Yair Rodriguez I think I really enjoy his his style with all the crazy spin kicks and shit And I like guys that are like movie action movie quick and Cody Garbrandt is Action movie quick like he's like a Bruce Lee type fighter. He is he's accurate. He's very very accurate
Starting point is 00:45:44 He's very very fast. It's accurate. He's very, very accurate. He's very, very fast. It's fun to watch this guy fucking go. That fight alone would be worth my pay-per-view money. If it was that fight and then some women who I didn't really know, like maybe the Karate Hottie was fighting some unknown and OSP
Starting point is 00:45:59 was fighting on the undercard, which I think he is. Maybe on the pre-prelims. I'd still buy this card. But that's just the beginning of this fucking epic card dude so back on tj versus garbrandt normally i favor the guy who has more paths to victory right like like you know if all you're good at is you have you know a bag of rocks in your left hand and that's the only thing you're good at. Meanwhile, this other guy also has good hands and good wrestling and good jits and good this and that. It's like, oh, well, all he has to do is avoid your one weapon and employ any of his 10. And Dillashaw would be that guy with all the weapons in this. He's got great footwork. He
Starting point is 00:46:40 has good hands. He knocks people out. Not like Garbrandt does, but he knocks people out um not like garbrandt does but he knocks people out too and uh like there's just a lot more pass to victory for tj but when you look at garbrandt he's got these great hands he doesn't take anyone to the ground i i just can't help but think like all paverati could do was sing you know that's the only thing he was good at and and pounding pussy i bet paarotti could get after it. Can you imagine when he came? So that's a super interesting fight. We'll see. Dillajal is one of the best takedown guys.
Starting point is 00:47:16 I think Reddy was third best in that weight class. And then Garbrandt is like the best at takedown defense. And when Bruce Buffett says his name, there are some names that really roll off Bruce Buffett's tongue well, and TJ Dillashaw is one of them.
Starting point is 00:47:32 I like to hear that man call that. Dan Hardy is one of the guys. So some people before the fight, when all the announcing is happening, if you look at Rose Namahamis, she'll just, like, if you look at Rose Namahumis, Namahamas, she'll just look dead, like soulless, forward, not moving, bored, waiting for the fight
Starting point is 00:47:51 to begin, and that's one thing, and I can appreciate it, Dan Hardy, back when he fought, he would, like, hype it up, he and Bruce Buffer were almost co-announcing him, you know, and they'd fist bump, or he'd point to him like, yeah, I don't know. I just, there's a part of me that's like, I think I just lay in the octagon and look at the lights and soak in the moment. I know I'm about to get to work, but, but for right now, like this is a really cool thing that's happening. This is going to be one of the like 15 greatest moments of his life. It's an octagon announcement, main. And, yeah, it's cool. When they get me hyped for the fight, it's going to be a very big weekend for UFC.
Starting point is 00:48:29 I hope I'm home in time. And, of course, you've got George St. Pierre coming back after four years of retirement, coming back to fight Michael Bisping, the Count versus Rush. You've got Great Britain-England versus Canada. That got Great Britain, England versus Canada. That's a big fucking fight. I don't know who's favored in that, but I'm definitely picking Bisping. I think that Bisping, the most likely outcome is Bisping wins by decision, but I'm picking Bisping to knock that guy the fuck out.
Starting point is 00:48:58 I do not like GSP. I've hated GSP since Greasegate. Why don't you like him? I remember when he was very popular in the earlier UFC days. Because he fought BJ Penn like five years ago, and he was covered in Vaseline,
Starting point is 00:49:13 and BJ couldn't get his submissions because this guy was like a slippery fish squeezing out of every hold and stuff like that. And I felt like BJ was better on the ground. And George's thing is wrestling. George was just taking everybody down and humping them to a victory.
Starting point is 00:49:30 And among other things, like he's a very talented fighter. He cleared out the division multiple times. GSP, in his time, best there was. GSP always seemed to be better at what the other guy was bad at, right? So if you're an outstanding wrestler, I'm going to outbox at. If you're an outstanding wrestler, I'm going to outbox you. If you're an outstanding
Starting point is 00:49:47 boxer, I'm going to outwrestle you. He was always able to decide what kind of fight it was. He was better. His weakness was not as weak as the other guy's weakness. That just seems like the smart move. If you have those tools, why would that not do it? Cody Garbrandt can't do that.
Starting point is 00:50:03 All Pavarotti can do is sing. Cody Garbrandt's going to go in there and try and punch the other guy in the face but GSP has a well rounded enough game that he's going to try to do what Bisping's bad at which is wrestling and we'll see how it works GSP's best tool is probably his brain because he's a thoughtful intelligent guy
Starting point is 00:50:21 and not the meathead that you've described Garbrandt as being I don't think GSP gets rattled he doesn't go in there angry at his opponent he doesn't go in there pumped up and ready to go he goes in there very professionally uh with a game plan that he sticks to um i guarantee he has a game plan for this fight and he will stick to it win lose or draw he was like he says he's gonna take down bisping that's his game plan and they're like yeah but no one ever holds down Bisping. And he's like, Oz, you don't see.
Starting point is 00:50:48 He gets up in like three, four ways. We have counters for that. He's Austrian. Yes. This is how he speaks, does he? But yeah, he's basically like me. He has three or four ways that he gets up, techniques that he uses, and I'm ready for them.
Starting point is 00:51:10 So we'll see. No one else is ready for him. How much older is George St. Pierre than his opponent? I don't know. Is he old? I feel like I looked him up, and he was in his late 30s, which seems like it's very old to be fighting. They're both old. Yeah, neither one is a young, fresh chicken or anything. Which seems like it's very old to be fighting. They're both old. Yeah. Neither one is a young, fresh chicken or anything.
Starting point is 00:51:28 GSP had a Bud Light. God knows what he got paid by Bud Light. But a Bud Light ad that he recently did where it's like showing. We could actually watch it. I think it's funny to watch. It's kind of a joke. It's a gag. It's all like sort of.
Starting point is 00:51:43 GSP is 36 and Bisping is 38. So he's actually younger. Oh, that's close. Yeah. Did you say GSP is 36 and Bisping is 38. So he's actually younger. Oh, that's close. Yeah. Did you say GSP is 30? I mean, who's 38? Bisping is 36 and GSP is two years younger. Ah, okay, okay.
Starting point is 00:51:57 No, I think Bisping is 38. Unless he's making a ton of money from this. Like, I feel like... Did I say it wrong the second time? Bisping 38, GSP 36. That's the answer once you have enough money though like and you have a legacy don't you think that part of you would want to be like I don't know if I want to ruin what I have here that so that's a thing so GSP dominated 170 if he comes back and wins it like another belt at 185 becomes a dual belt champion
Starting point is 00:52:21 like that then that cements a pretty solid legacy. There aren't many people who've done that. What does he have to lose if he loses the fight, though? Does that damage his legacy? I don't think so. Kyle says yes. You think so? To me, it's like Jordan's wizard years.
Starting point is 00:52:35 Did Jordan suddenly not become a great player because he played some old years? I think everyone just sort of, like, oh, yeah, that was Jordan 3.0. That guy didn't. He's like the Matrix after the first two. They didn't even happen. There wasn't a third one.
Starting point is 00:52:52 Let's watch this 45-second video. I think it's... If you're a fight fan, it's rather entertaining. He takes a few jabs at Bisping, both literal and metaphorical. It's good. Oh, I think I've seen this. All right.
Starting point is 00:53:05 To me, GSP's I think I've seen this. Alright. To me, GSP's belly is a mess in this. You guys can decide for yourself. I'm ready. I'm queued up too. Ready, set, play. Bud Light paid GSP some money for this. His belly is just big. Yeah, but he's got those abs. Is that like HGH belly?
Starting point is 00:53:30 I don't know. It's what I've heard you describe as HGH belly, you know? You hate to say that about this guy. Let's go, English muffin. I mean, it could just be great shape belly. Oh No the crane kick Superman He said the looks Like that I really like the little catchphrase there at the end. Canada's in your corner. I don't know, man. It's going to be a good fucking fight. I think all three of the main fights are going to be good.
Starting point is 00:54:11 I am afraid for Rose. Yeah, I was going to say. You said all three will be good. So Rose Namahomis is fighting Joanne Jurjacek. Very difficult names. And Joanne, like, I don't see how rose wins this yeah joanne is a beast you know i was watching her grappling with a man today and uh and and man she's just fast and agile and strong and talented and like i don't know just pick an adjective she's very fucking good and uh rose is good too
Starting point is 00:54:46 but i just don't i'm gonna go out on a limb here i'm gonna say joanna jacek dominates one or two more fighters gets pregnant and wraps up her career that's what i'm calling wow i'm not looking that far into the future that that that's not that far it's carnage stuff i mean how old is she is she 30 yet i'll have to look she's in her 30s then yeah she's gonna she's gonna stop i'm her i freeze my eggs and i stick them in like ronda rousey somebody whose body doesn't matter anymore so is she just totally she's 30 even a part of the scene anymore ronda rousey no no she's not and she won't is it exactly what i predicted like over a year ago where i was like she's just like you know slugger mcgee in baseball from 1906 where they're like nobody's
Starting point is 00:55:39 ever gonna beat mickey the slugger and it's like oh it turns out mickey the slugger kind of sucked dick at this game you know we didn't know enough to be good like he uses both hands on the bat at the same time i think ronda was at the round ronda was at the wrong camp how fast the ball is coming ronda was at this boxing camp she had this coach who's like notoriously terrible he's not even a good boxing coach but he went in there told her that she was great that she was you know ready to fight like muay thai people then she was just she was murking people with told her that she was great, that she was ready to fight Muay Thai people, that she was murking people with her hands, but she was up against Beche, who was an accountant a few years earlier. And as soon as she went up against someone who had good hands, she got exposed.
Starting point is 00:56:15 Head movement. So if she was at the right camp and did what Damian Maia does and a few other people where they just play their best game, you don't see Cody Garbrandt thinking he's a Jits guy, even though I'm sure he practices it. But Ronda Rousey, for some reason, thought she had hands and she actually got exposed. She doesn't. She tried to clinch and you saw that Amanda was, God knows how many not hours but days they had practiced with someone coming in with that clinch and her shaking it off getting a little distance and then coming right back in with a right because that's as soon as as soon as ronda went for it she just throws it off takes a
Starting point is 00:56:58 step back and then she's right back in with a punch and ronda's just getting beaten up and it's you know in slow motion she's just making her ugly face because she's getting her ass beaten and it's it was ugly it was ugly and that's and you know you'd already seen Holly Hunt expose her and and damage her psyche damage her body blood of your mouth and then to see Amanda come in there and just wipe the floor with her in like I don't know 45 seconds a minute and a half it was. It was a little hard to watch. It was pretty rough. I hope she stays gone. She got married to Travis Brown,
Starting point is 00:57:31 whatever his name is. She should go off and have babies like she said forever ago. I wonder how she's doing. I feel like sometimes when someone gets the highest of highs, right? She was an inspiration to like every woman in America at some point. She was, you know, don't be a do nothing bitch. Go out, create, do something.
Starting point is 00:57:53 A lot of people loved her. My daughter loved Ronda Rousey. Now Ronda is, it's kind of embarrassed. You know, the way that she left wasn't good. And she also was not civil. She was a bad sport about the whole thing. You can lose a fight and be like, you know what? I'm hanging my hat.
Starting point is 00:58:15 Good on you. Could have had more grace with it and left with more dignity. It's like, well, she realized it was her time. Because she had no grace. Because she was such a bitch, everyone turned it on her the second she started losing. It's like, well... Because she had no grace. Because she was such a bitch, everyone turned it on her the second she started losing. It was like, fuck you, you know?
Starting point is 00:58:29 You were such a dick the whole way through. She wanted the ultimate fighter and was an absolute horrible person to Misha Tate. Rana was completely unlikable. And as soon as she started losing, people stopped liking her because everything else was gone. I wonder how she is. Almost like, was it a good thing, her UFC run? Or gone i wonder how she is like almost like was it a good
Starting point is 00:58:46 thing her ufc run or how wrecked is she mentally is she happy right now i i don't know well she probably didn't take enough of a beating to have any like consequences from it later in life you know like her career wasn't super super long yeah i'm not even getting it like that yeah the concussion thing i agree with you i think she's okay but the other part of it like i don't know like a youtuber that gets mega rich at 15 and is broke at 17 that person might have been better off having a normal high school experience yeah and then getting rich at 20 or something that or that'd be better than that's young but right um you know sometimes i'm watching this thing a while back we're about lottery winners and they're like Or that'd be better for them. Even then, that's young. Right. You know, sometimes, I was watching this thing a while back about lottery winners,
Starting point is 00:59:29 and they're like, I used to think that sometimes winning the lottery was good and sometimes it was bad. Now I think it's always bad. People who win the lottery, that's bad luck. It's not going to make them better off
Starting point is 00:59:39 in the long run. I guess that has to be small lotteries. I think the lottery thing, it just accentuates who you already are. I would bet dollars to donuts that every single person in this call, if we won the lottery, we would never go broke. If we won $20 million after tax or whatever, there would never be a day. Even at like 91, we're like, it's all run out. The reason you see so many lottery winners go down is because of the class of people who play the lottery.
Starting point is 01:00:07 That's 100% why you get that out of that. Because they refer to the lottery as the stupid tax to begin with, right? You probably not a lot of stockbrokers and investment fund managers playing quick pick six. Okay? No. They're just not. They're like, oh, I got to go get my ticket. I got to go get my ticket. No, no they're just not really I gotta go get my ticket I go get my ticket. No no they're not me six luck of the Irish I can
Starting point is 01:00:30 $150 Jesus Christ, that's that's the issue there late like I think we would all like immediately stick it in some and something long Yeah, you diversify it there be some long-term stuff. There'd be some tax deferred stuff You'd find a way to protect you You'd hire a professional, right? You'd go ahead and spend $100,000 of it on a professional. One to watch your money. One to watch the guy watching your money. Two chicks at the same time.
Starting point is 01:00:56 That's what I do. Oh, that's it? But even pretend for a moment, Kyle, that it was like a rule where it's like you can't reinvest this. You can't use it to start a business. This is only for living expenses and like buying a house or something. You can't do anything else with it. Like it's only the $20 million. Even at low yield interest, you know, you're making –
Starting point is 01:01:14 I'm saying even if magically you weren't allowed to gain any interest, even low yield, like you still would not run out of that. No. No. If you just put it in a big pile and and like sat it somewhere i mean if you felt like you were impulsive like you would probably like make some sort of a you know get someone to set up a trust so that you couldn't get to all of it you know you know like like like divvy this out to me slowly you know let's make sure that i don't get a coke habit and and whittle my way through eight million dollars next year or something crazy like
Starting point is 01:01:45 that you know like you'd protect that money like that like i remember watching this was years ago i don't know if it was like tlc or something it was about like lottery winners who ended up going broke and like just kind of a loose documentation of what happened and one of the dudes won like after tax it was like 130 million dollars or something bananas and he was a poor dirt poor kind of you know white trash guy. And he built like a millions and millions of dollar like monster truck thing in his backyard with like the mounds and a monster truck
Starting point is 01:02:16 and all this stuff. And it's like, this is why, this is the kind of person who plays the lottery. Like, of course, they sucked with money before they had money, which is why they didn't have any money and they were playing the lottery. But it's also that they end up giving it away. I saw another, not documentary,
Starting point is 01:02:34 but somebody trying to look into it. A lot of people, when they win money, especially in a poor social setting, the cousin, the brother, everybody goes in and tries to siphon the money away. And they actually give it away. I'll tell you what, if I did win, I'm going to do an ad read right after I say this, unless somebody has something pertinent to throw in or whatever.
Starting point is 01:02:52 But if I did win, I don't know about my, there's some states where you have to come forward publicly with your name and everything. There are some states where you just have to show up. And I've seen people put on costumes and such to hide their identity. I'd be that guy. Oh, yeah. I don't want – like I tell my immediate family, like my mom and my dad and my cousin, and I'd be like, look, I'm going to hook you all up. You've all got trust funds.
Starting point is 01:03:19 Maybe that's immediate family in Georgia. Yeah, right? You've all got trust funds funds this amount of money is going in there don't come for me don't come to be asking for more don't come to me asking to invest in your and you're like tupperware business or whatever the fuck none of that shit like like you're not getting into me we're not eating this away you all get you know a hundred thousand dollars a year for the rest of your lives and that's it it. It's in there. You're square. We're square.
Starting point is 01:03:46 Don't tell anybody the fuck else about this. I don't need people coming out of the woodwork. You need to make it buried base. You have to like do some type of treasure hunt. Like, okay, look, I've taken 10 million, buried it somewhere. And these are all the clues. Like, and so I'm going to go on national television. And that's what I do to the relatives and like friends and ex lovers or whatever that i
Starting point is 01:04:05 don't like but there'd be nothing there's nothing there's nothing i would hire someone and pay him like 10 grand set up the most elaborate treasure hunt scavenger hunt of all time but there's nothing in the box you get there and it's just like fuck you it literally says fuck you and a big majestic treasure box. The treasure box would be worth more than the whole thing, but it's empty. You crack it open. And it's very, very heavy. Very heavy, like fake gold coins.
Starting point is 01:04:33 They open it up, and at first they think they've struck the mother load. Oh, my God, are those doubloons? And then it's like those chocolate coins. And a note that says, fuck you. It's a big melted chest of tinfoil and chocolate i would have so much fun with like frivolous amounts of of uh millions of dollars that would be interesting all right you've heard me talk a lot about the amazing shave that i get from my dollar shave club razor especially when i use it with the dr carver's shave butter well
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Starting point is 01:05:59 Get yours for just $5 exclusively at dollarshaveclub.com slash pka, link down below. That's dollarshaveclub.com slash pka. Link down below. That's dollarshaveclub.com slash pka. I really like the One Wipe Charlies. I recently got a kit from them with, well, everything that I just mentioned, actually. All the products in it. And I've been using them all. And those One Wipe Charlies really live up to the name.
Starting point is 01:06:20 They get the job done no matter how much seafood you've eaten the night before. They've given you,'ve eaten the night before. They've given you... I got the same kit. There's travel-sized one-way Charlies, which I'm bringing on my weekend. That's gotta be perfect for any kind of camping. That is a YouTube video that I'll fucking clickety-clickety-click. You sick shit. No, you can't be shitting. That's like Assad-level chemical warfare. You can pee in the air. Biological warfare.
Starting point is 01:06:49 Wait, you're allowed to legally pee in the air? I think you're allowed to drop things. That's how it's phrased. If it's not going to land on anybody. You could drop water balloons and stuff, provided that you knew what was at the bottom. So I would assume you could shit in the air, too. But paragliders do it.
Starting point is 01:07:04 They have long flights. With a paragliderider you can't just go up and down anytime you want thank because they're looking for rising columns of air so uh if they're having a good run and they're like five hours in they just kind of hang off their leg straps pee get most of it not on them and then climb back in bullshit it's all over them so you're about to go on a trip right i'm telling you like like what state are're about to go on a trip, right? I'm telling you, like, what state are you going to go over? Like, besides North Carolina? Just North Carolina.
Starting point is 01:07:31 So here's where it is. We're starting at Raleigh. I'm starting at my house. My friends are all starting at a nearby airport. They didn't want to start here. And it's about 175 miles to the beach. We're going where Wilbur and Orville Wright first took off. There's, like, a monument and stuff there. Yeah, Kitty Hawk. It's called First Flight Airport. airport they put an airport there it's a little thing and uh we're gonna have three fuel stops on the way i've never actually fueled up
Starting point is 01:07:55 like mid-flight like i've never had to and uh so we're like bringing oil to mix it we're gonna like carry the paramotors to a gas station and fill it up. We're landing at some airports too where they bring a truck out to your backpack and stuff. But what's kind of cool is we're going to have live tracking. So I'll put a link in the description. And if anyone wants to follow the dots as we work our way across the state, you can see me and my three friends going from airport to airport. And I'll show you where we're going. If it's Friday when you see this,
Starting point is 01:08:28 then we're going out there. If it's Saturday when you see this, we should be coming back if everything goes according to plan. I don't know. If it's on Sunday or Monday or next week. Then we've already done it. Something went wrong. If you see Woody's Beacon out into the
Starting point is 01:08:43 Atlantic about 100 miles off the coast, you know shit has gone awry. Contact the United States Coast Guard. Yeah. It will be a two-host PKA next week if that's the case. I'm really excited about it. Like, it's an adventure that's a big deal to me. I'm super excited.
Starting point is 01:08:59 I got another thing. That's really cool. It's about eight hours each way. Now, that includes stops. Yeah. So it's probably about six hours of eight hours each way now that includes stops yeah so it's probably about six hours of flying are you comfortable when you're flying like do you have a proper seat or so yeah you're pretty comfortable flying it is it is a bit of a burner if you have your arms up the whole time so you can put them down but if the air is turbulent then you really need to be on top of everything and you know just even doing this for 40 minutes
Starting point is 01:09:23 would wear out your shoulders so it that happens what do you do for fun up there like do you listen to music or a podcast or something like because i feel like you get up like if i were flying like uh-huh like an eight-hour trip like the first 20 minutes i'd be like oh this is exhilarating and then i'd be like oh my god i this is gonna take forever it might not be your cup of tea so for starters I find it fun anyway there's usually like some problem to solve like oh it's too bumpy constantly the wing is pitching or something if you're in the middle of the day
Starting point is 01:09:53 I do have music, I wear double hearing protection I've got these Bose like noise cancelling things I wear inside so there's music, I also have three friends with me and we all talk to each other over like ham radios and it should be pretty cool and then there's navigation you know we have to make sure we're going in the right way and stuff can you see each other during it like can you like look ahead and be like oh there's there's jerry sure we fly close enough that we bump wingtips you know oh
Starting point is 01:10:18 touching tips touching tips yeah call it okay if it's an accident yeah i can't claim it was an accident the fact that you can piss or shit anywhere if you all would be the unlucky fucker in the woods that just North Carolina is the India of the U.S. apparently. That you can just shit from the air. There's just Woody flying around peeing and pooing on people. It's like a Hansel and Gretel trail all the way to the beach. Little nuggets. I only mention it because I thought the live tracking thing would be neat. I bet people on the subreddit are seeing how we're doing and stuff like that. So that should be really cool.
Starting point is 01:11:03 It wouldn't surprise me if there's people that take pictures that you at some point that'd be pretty cool that would be pretty cool if we pass over somebody through the crosshair of us air sub guns or paintball guns oh man that could happen nerdy huh that would be i'll tell you what you're not gonna do it and i don't blame you but if you made a if you like ever flew to a different state like let's say you flew over south carolina just a video called a different state, like let's say you flew over South Carolina, just a video called fertilizing South Carolina. It's just you, you know,
Starting point is 01:11:29 blur out as much as you need to, but you like getting into some sort of legs up on the stirrups position and like, like, like, like, you know, like riding a bull.
Starting point is 01:11:38 I imagine like sort of a bull riding position, but your legs are straight up and just taking a shit on South Carolina. Do it with like righteous indignation though. Be like, this is organic crop dusting what I'm doing here. This is for the environment. I feel you guys should coordinate and pick a
Starting point is 01:11:56 building and try to all three shit on the same building, see if you can make it. That's such a horrible thing to do. What horrible company is headquartered where you're flying over? Or maybe not a horrible company, just one you don't like. Where's EA headquarters? Oh, jeez.
Starting point is 01:12:10 EA. I mean, that might be quite a flight, unless that's in North Carolina. Yeah, I don't know. Like, I don't want a bird shits on my windshield. I'm like, oh! Just imagine. That's a good drive on your windshield. Woody, just got off narcotics. I ain to get a shot on your dick and chill.
Starting point is 01:12:27 Woody, just got off narcotics, huh? You got a lot to work through. What do these seagulls eat? You're like a bear right after hibernation where he's trying to shit out the first pine cone that he used to stuff that up. Oh, every goddamn spring with this. Is there some type of protocol where you make a sign,
Starting point is 01:12:49 you're going to take a shit, and the other people go in front of you? No, of course not. People don't shit from their paramotors all the time. Let alone have systems work. But I mean, what if you're in front, and you're like, okay, well, I'm just going to shit, and your friend is right behind you. I've got like two hours of fuel. If you can't plan ahead, what the fuck is wrong with you?
Starting point is 01:13:07 I have to take a shit. Like, look, I'm going to take a shit. Why don't you guys go ahead? Like, just, you know, 10-meter lead. I'll take a shit. How high do you fly? I will probably be at about 2,000 feet a lot on this trip. The highest guy I've known.
Starting point is 01:13:23 The shit would be pretty strong. It would be a terminal velocity. The terminal velocity, for sure. It would be like when they drop shit out of airplanes and it gets so much speed. Like, what was that? Joe Dirt. Remember that movie where he carries around the meteor, but it's just frozen shit.
Starting point is 01:13:39 He thought it was a nuclear weapon, right? Or something like that. He thought it was his asteroid or something. Oh my god, that's an underrated movie. He thought it was like his asteroid or something. Oh, my God. Yeah, that's an underrated movie. That's David Spade's best work. Yeah, I mean, what other good David Spade things are there? Tommy Boy, right?
Starting point is 01:13:54 Okay, I would put that way above Joe Dirt, actually. Tommy Boy. I don't know. Tommy Boy's my favorite. He's got Chris Farley backing him up, you know? It's hard to fail. Yeah? I fucking love that movie. I haven't seen it in so long.
Starting point is 01:14:08 It's a shame that he died. And it's also a shame that I saw... Even a few weeks ago, I opened up a Reddit link and didn't fully know. And it was just him dead there with the vomit on his face. All bloated. I want to remember him ripping a coat. Not like this. That guy in a little coat i remember um david spade was telling chris farley stories on the howard stern show and he said they were up in canada in uva scotia or somewhere like that
Starting point is 01:14:36 working on a movie yeah and uh they went to the strip club and and chris farley would apparently had this thing that he would do as a joke he would would hire the ugliest, fattest, nastiest stripper in the place to give someone private dances all night as a gag. And so David's like, and she comes over, and there she is on me, and you can't get her off because she's been paid. Like, what a good gag. He puts over the mole-infested shoulder.
Starting point is 01:15:04 That's FU money right there. And, what, $85? Is that it? $85? It's $20 for a dance. Well, I mean, he died in the early 90s, right? Or mid-90s. So, inflation. Even then, not really fuck-you money.
Starting point is 01:15:21 You don't have to go in there with that wheelbarrow. It's not like the rap videos. You can have a lot of fun at the strip club with a couple hundred bucks. Even if you get private dances. Private dances are like 20 bucks a dance or two songs for 30 or something like that. Allegedly. Never had a private dance.
Starting point is 01:15:37 No? No. I've been to one strip club ever and it was alright. Maybe I'll go back someday. There's no sex in the champagne room. We know that back someday there's no sex in the champagne room we know that much Chris Rock lied to me well Chris Rock lied to a lot of people
Starting point is 01:15:51 including his wife about what? about bitches that's right that was consensual his wife was like actually there was sex in the champagne room and now I'm worth 300 million dollars hope it was worth it you know His wife is like, actually, there was sex in the champagne room, and now I'm worth $300 million. Hope it was worth it.
Starting point is 01:16:12 You know, you got a couple more Netflix specials coming. Yeah, and you know, she's still getting a piece of those Netflix specials. The new ones? I don't think. You think? Nah, probably not the new ones. You would really hope not. Chris probably would have to have one shitty divorce eternity if she's getting chunks of that netflix money but yeah the private dances are uh are often worth it i've had some that weren't worth it but sometimes like you know you you get kind of lucky back there and maybe you
Starting point is 01:16:34 hook something up back there that can carry on elsewhere you know you have some fun in the not i've ever been to the champagne room i'm not exactly sure what that would be. But more of a champagne booth. I've been to the champagne kiosk. But never the room. You can get hooked up back there. How do you determine if a dance is good or bad? Yeah. How hard do you get?
Starting point is 01:16:59 No, no. She'll do some stuff to you. And she'll get more undressed than she's supposed to get. And let you do some stuff to you, and she'll get more in dress than she's supposed to get and let you do some stuff to her. What kind of stuff? You can finger bang her a little bit. You can grab her boobies. You can play with her butt. Normally not allowed to touch, right?
Starting point is 01:17:17 That's a rule that's often imposed. I've been warned many times. Not really. warned many times not really i've never i've never like uh i've seen people overstep their bounds and get zealous overzealous and start getting grabby and stuff but like i've never been the one to like get warned about that um but but i've been warned by the girl like hey don't don't do that out here you know but back there you know things are a little bit different but and one chick was like like as we're going back there she kind of says out loud like hey mike i'm going back into number seven so kind of let me know
Starting point is 01:17:51 that like there's somebody with an earshot if shit gets out of hand which i don't really care for i don't really care for it's like hey i'm gonna get all rapey back here because kyle just like every other guy that she takes back to the champagne room, she thought you were a creep. Or a potential creep. Because, to be fair, you were a potential creep. I love it. I mean, how creepy is she, though?
Starting point is 01:18:16 She just took $40 to grind her pussy all over me, right? Like, I mean, who's the real creep? That's Industrious. I don't know, actually. Who's creepier? The one who gave the $40 or the one who accepted it? I mean, I had $40 extra. What's her excuse? Now she has $40 extra.
Starting point is 01:18:31 Dude, if somebody paid me $40. Those $40 are going to her fentanyl prescription and her baby food. So that's not extra. In that order, yeah. Yeah, in that order always. Fentanyl is, I believe it's the artificial heroin, right? Dude, I have a fentanyl is uh i believe it's the uh the artificial uh heroin right dude i have a fentanyl thing i think yeah that's like yeah is it don't they give you that before surgery fentanyl that's propofol right propofol that's what i'm thinking anyway so i'm
Starting point is 01:18:55 i had my surgery monday i had my screws removed from my leg uh no big deal really but it got delayed by an hour so they're like like, all right, what do you know? The doctors are running a little bit behind. You're going to have to wait around for an hour. And I was like, that's outstanding. That's good news, actually. Get the anesthesiologist back here. Let's have a party.
Starting point is 01:19:13 And they're all laughing at me and everything. I'm like, no, no, no. I'm really anxious. Like, you know, let's go. But I ruined it. I ruined it. Kyle would have actually got drugs. Not me.
Starting point is 01:19:23 I kicked it off with the joke. And they all are like, no, you no, LOL, you're so funny. They often give you something to take the edge off. When I had my knee operated on, I was on that shit for like 15, 20 minutes. I'm having the time of my life saying kind things about Jackie or just how this is great. I was running my mouth back in the OR and it's a blast this time. They're like, yeah,
Starting point is 01:19:53 this'll take the edge off. And then it was like 10 seconds. And then I was under, there was nothing fun about it. And then all of a sudden I'm in recovery and they, we had an hour to kill. They could have had me. That could have been the time of my life. I didn't play it right.
Starting point is 01:20:07 You should have just started walking naked. Go get me some gummy bears and a fucking Netflix. I want to watch Stranger Things on this shit. Gummy bears and fucking Netflix. They're like, sir, this is a hospital. We don't have time for this. Even afterwards,
Starting point is 01:20:24 it hurt. Like I didn't expect it to hurt. I knew we're pulling two screws out of this small surgery and they're, they're like, how are you doing? And I was like, yeah, I'm good.
Starting point is 01:20:33 Like I'm not nauseous. I'm not, you know, whatever. But I was like right at the site of the surgery. Like it hurts. I got, this is more than I thought I would like more pain than I thought I would
Starting point is 01:20:41 have to deal with. And it stopped the next day or so. And I was like, can we do something for the pain? Because it's attention grabbing. And they're like, where is it? And I called it an eight, which I'm usually honest. That's about where I thought it was.
Starting point is 01:20:52 And he gave me one pill, which could have been sugar for all I knew. And that was that. Like there was no real pain hookup. And I kind of just had to tolerate it for a while. What's up with that that is pretty lame yeah yeah and the doctor was looking at me cross-eyed like i was some sort of addict you know trying to get a fix but i really just had a lot of pain right there but now he comes across a lot of those people and so they're probably super suspicious about anyone who asks
Starting point is 01:21:20 for it because yeah they probably have like a list of things where it's like, oh, yep, I noticed this. That means he's just trying to get drugs. Or this is drug-seeking behavior. I'd love to know if he's a PK viewer and actually saw you last episode speak about this. I love his game. I love the show.
Starting point is 01:21:39 I went to physical therapy today and I graduated. I had my last PT session. It felt like some big win. Like i won a contest or graduated a school or something but they uh you know they measured me all up and everything and i'm i'm done physical therapy there's more i can do at home but uh as far as like having to go into the office and do that stuff it's over i'm like how much so you you're you're back to full form or kind of like yeah you might call it like 85 percent yeah and and it can be a long time he's like you know if you start running or
Starting point is 01:22:10 something even nine months from now you might discover that like it's more sore than your good leg but um I'm trending towards 100 mostly yeah I can jump on one foot they they had me um like they do a box on the ground like a plus sign on the ground. And then with my bad foot jumping from quadrant to quadrant around, like I can do stuff like that. So what is Kyle laughing at? You know, I'm looking for content. Oh, okay, gotcha.
Starting point is 01:22:36 Interesting things. I'm on the Florida Man website. And then I stumbled across this funny gif. You know, it's a couple guys locked out of the club, as might happen to the average fellow and they start break dancing outside and then they're joined by a bunch of ladies. And the ladies start dancing with them
Starting point is 01:22:52 outside. They all have a great time. It kind of warmed my heart a little bit. We'll have to check it out. I'm pulling it up. This isn't working. But to put a wrap on that, I'm done PT. i feel really happy about that that's awesome nice right all right there is this is a this is a fun uplifting gift kyle yeah and you
Starting point is 01:23:13 know what that shows confidence is key yeah uh-huh it's just part of each other bills though yeah these guys are walking over to like steal that backpack on the ground these guys are just just like really breaking it down in that doorway. And then all of a sudden, five hot chicks come by and they're like, yeah, alright. Four hot chicks. Four hot chicks and one of their associates.
Starting point is 01:23:38 Not high. Is it the one holding the camera? The one in the black? Actually, I think there might be six girls. Am I wrong? Seems like she's nominated to be the bigger girl. That chunky lady on the left. Miss Green Pants is pretty fucking hot.
Starting point is 01:23:51 I like those green pants. I'm not big on the high-waisted thing. And you're right, there were five. It's funny, the girl on the left knows immediately her role. I like it. It's not to participate, but to film. She extends behind and says just okay yeah this is where i take on my mobile she knows i like the high waist thing on like a certain body build
Starting point is 01:24:11 of girl if you're wearing them to cover up love handles and a belly like i'm not a fool right like i can see in three dimensions bitch i have both eyes okay so i i know what's going on there this is you're the worst magician ever with that. Okay, I get it But if they're wearing them to accentuate what's already just like a really tight tummy and slim waist and sort of Hourglass shape that they've got going on. I'm definitely into that You know the old-school mom jeans not so much into but but jeans have evolved so much now There's these four hundred fifty dollar jeans from Japan that are like a thong. The whole ass is just exposed
Starting point is 01:24:47 in the jeans. There are these jeans where the zipper comes down from the front. Wait, so you have to sit on your bare ass in public? You don't sit. You keep on walking. You keep on walking. Yeah, there you go.
Starting point is 01:25:04 These are the thong jeans but there's also some jeans that where the zipper begins in the front goes down to the crotch and goes all the way to the butt you know you just completely unzip the jeans in half um all kinds of uh you know future jeans does this even qualify as jeans yeah they're denim pants smarmy prick in the fashion industry like god this fashion stuff like i don't get it pictures in this article scroll No, this is some smarmy prick in the fashion industry. Like, God, this fashion stuff, like, I don't get it. I don't see any pictures in this article. You gotta scroll down. I did.
Starting point is 01:25:31 All I have is an Instagram picture. Yeah, there's an Instagram photo of, like, it looks like somebody took normal jeans and cut away 90% of them, and now they're charging just an egregious amount. 400% more. What you really need is a fucking woman get a modeling job i mean she's got a great she's got a good body i the ugly one she's ugly it's i i all right so from this distance secretary look i'll agree like i can't her face doesn't look great, but I wish it was zoomed in a little bit more. I wish I could see her face a little better.
Starting point is 01:26:11 Bangs are fine, but her chin and face... There's a lot about her face that from this distance doesn't look great. And her legs. I just expect a fitter, tighter body out of a model. Look at her ass.
Starting point is 01:26:25 That's exactly what I'm looking at. I'm all about that. There's nothing wrong with any of that. It's not top, top tier. That's what I'm getting at. She is modeling the thong gene. Yeah, that wasn't like the really famous models were like, yeah, no, I'm opting out of the thong gene. It's a missed opportunity.
Starting point is 01:26:42 So you have a gene thong, and then you cover it with something else. I don't see the point. And the thong gene. It's a missed opportunity. So you have a gene thong and then you cover it with something else. I don't see the point. And the shoes are horrible. Yeah, I didn't notice the shoes. I was more looking at her ass. She might have brought her own shoes as far as I can tell.
Starting point is 01:26:54 Jesus, Chiz, where did you get this? Was this fashion show at your house? Those are Chiz's shoes. Go easy on the shoes. See, that's the thing with women's clothes. If you put a hot chick in a burlap sack, it's the thing with like women's clothes is like so if you put a hot chick
Starting point is 01:27:06 in a burlap sack it's gonna be like nice fucking hot that's that's great but if you put you know a horrible ugly woman in the most beautiful potential outfit it doesn't help like it maybe it'll help a bit with like the body shape but like at the end of the day like there are things you can't hide like if you're morbidly obese like sorry these thong jeans are just gonna send you further in the direction you don't want to be in yeah not a not a product choose his shoes i can't help i can't move past it choose his shoes they're curiously large i think he's sized is it 15 16 15 or 16 15 15 yeah 15 size 15 shoes Oh, okay, 15. Yeah. 15. It's size 15 shoes.
Starting point is 01:27:48 Like, you don't even see that in stores oftentimes. Well, not in clown stores. A buddy of mine does that, and he has to, like, order them off the internet sometimes. And sometimes they just look shitty, which is kind of funny. It's like a very clown vibe. Oh, even I wear an 11. He's like 6'3"-ish. I wear an 11, and sometimes I'll see something on the shelf in size 8 or something. It is a good looking shoe.
Starting point is 01:28:09 Then it rolls out in an 11 and it looks ginormous. I can only imagine what 15 happens. Yeah. I wear 13s. I think that's still pretty normal. That's the top of normal, I think. That's the biggest size you'll get in stores. They look good, I think that's the biggest size you'll get in stores they look they look
Starting point is 01:28:25 good I think if you get like the long shoes though and you wear like tapered leg jeans to look better then it gives a real like flipper you know but I don't pay too much attention to women's shoes I pretend to I didn't do it but those weren't just outrageous for a fashion show. I mean, they were clearly used. Yeah, that's what they were going for. Maybe those jeans were supposed to be worn out too. Maybe like,
Starting point is 01:28:53 oh, if you avid sitters, this is what our jeans could look like. I wish I could find the picture from Reddit of the girl with the assless jeans because she was three times hotter than this model. She was a nine. Absolutely. Absolutely. assless jeans because she was three times hotter than this model. She was a nine. Yeah, absolutely. See what he did there?
Starting point is 01:29:10 A little math joke. Yes, I heard the math joke. She is definitely not a three. No, she's not. She's not. It's a joke. Yeah, I know. I called my House of Representatives today or something.
Starting point is 01:29:23 I went to, um, apparently today their FCC is expected to announce a vote that will end net neutrality. I don't know why it seems to be a Republican thing. They keep trying to end net neutrality and the Democrats always try to keep it. Net neutrality is generally considered a good thing, almost part of free speech. It's entrepreneur-friendly because new startups have the same platform to work on the Internet that giant companies like Amazon and YouTube do. And I don't usually call, but there was a phone number right on there with a little two-sentence script. And I was like, yeah, call. It took 30 seconds.
Starting point is 01:30:01 Nice. I don't know enough about net neutrality but every time i hear about it it's like ah this like it seems like this is a good thing right like it seems like that's something you'd want but like i really i don't know shit the only people on the other side are the people who want to sell you like tiered internet plans you know like oh yeah if you want youtube to be fast pay an extra five if you want amazon to be fast pay an extra five if you want amazon to be fast pay an extra 10 and it sounds shitty yeah the only people ford are those guys but they're buying congressmen and they're cheap like eight grand and there you go start a patreon level
Starting point is 01:30:37 where we buy a congressman that's a great idea that's fantastic idea. I think that's going to work out well. So you just left a message to Mr. Congressman? It was weird to me because I called, and then apparently what I called was actually, I'm looking for the name of it here, battleforthenet.com, and I entered my zip code, and then they forwarded me to
Starting point is 01:31:06 the appropriate person that i should be talking to so i called and i got like a secretary or something do people even say that anymore admin assistant receptionist i got some human and uh i didn't expect that i thought i was going to be leaving a message so she she calls and she's like you know hey like laurelen's office or something like that. And I'm like, I'm just calling to say that I support Title II net neutrality rules and I urge you to oppose the FCC's plan to appeal them. And I'd like you to contract the FCC chairman and demand that he abandon his current plan with all the gravitas I had right there. Do your parents know that you're calling i had right here and she was super cool she was like okay i'll pass that message on to laurel hardy whatever the fuck his name was
Starting point is 01:31:54 and uh i was delighted to get off the phone and how many times do you think she heard that that day i like read in that way of dozens i urge you to do this just sit there and be like jesus christ i'm normally a pretty good public speaker but i was just i i hadn't even considered the possibility it wouldn't be a recording oh so many people do that right like and you see that that cliche in movies a lot where you're calling thinking you're gonna get the voicemail and you're prepared for that and then the girl's like hello and you're like oh fuck yeah so i left i don't know if it'll make any difference but apparently sometimes this stuff does of course not one call but when they're inundated with calls uh they you know
Starting point is 01:32:38 they have to do that they just like oh shit this happened they got a local aviator changed the course of history today with a simple phone call showing once again that being part... Oh, that's great. Creating a government. Everyone matters. We're sort of in the doldrums of television entertainment right now, unless you're a huge Stranger Things fan. I haven't started
Starting point is 01:32:59 Stranger Things 2. I haven't either. Walking Dead's real big right now. I've watched that, but I discovered something brand new last night and I think it's a real five star fucking gem. This show is called Ten Star. T-I-N.
Starting point is 01:33:16 I'm not going to give anything relevant away, but it's about a British police officer who relocates to Canada with his family of four and then shit really really goes awry. It's, it's got some, it's, it's a bit like Breaking Bad in some ways, where this character, every episode really escalates his, uh, his intensity, and, uh, the main character is Tim Roth, who, uh, you know, if you've seen Reservoir Dogs the cop who's uh who's been shot uh who's uh
Starting point is 01:33:45 you know undercover um and christina christina hendrix is in it the redhead with the gargantuan tits jane from uh four out of mad men uh eight eight and a half out of ten even at her uh her current age uh ten out of ten if if i was actually looking at her, even through binoculars, as I do. And it's very fucking good. I started watching it like two days ago, I think, and I got like three episodes in, and then last night I watched like four episodes, and then today I squeezed an episode in.
Starting point is 01:34:20 So I'm almost on the tenth episode. There are ten episodes. Each episode is 45 minutes long. I turned Chiz on to this thing. He stayed up all fucking night long and watched 10 episodes of this shit. That's how much he enjoyed the show. It's very, very good.
Starting point is 01:34:36 And violent. Yeah, it starts off quick. I don't want to say anything either. Oh, that was it. I wanted to say this. If you've got Amazon Prime, it's all free. I'm glad you said that, Taylor, because this isn't like Ozark. I don't want to shit on Ozark or anything, but I watched like the first 20 minutes, and
Starting point is 01:34:55 I just couldn't get hooked. I couldn't get into it. I couldn't get the wheels moving. You watch five minutes, the first five minutes of episode one of ten star and you're like whoa all right let's see where this is going and then when you get to the end of episode one you're like oh shit normally it would take all it would take the entire first season of a show to like get to the bottom of what happened in the first five minutes and i got to the bottom of it in the first fucking episode of this thing. Chiz compares it to the first episode
Starting point is 01:35:26 and first season of Fargo where it's like miniature movies and every episode begins with a show-stopping holy shit moment and virtually every episode ends with a crazy fucking cliffhanger where you're like, I gotta watch one more.
Starting point is 01:35:41 I gotta watch one more. Man, I can't praise this show enough. I might be streaming that on my flight tomorrow. Dude, you'll really like it. I promise you, it's very, very fucking good. Yeah, so check out Tim's card. I feel like that pacing is important for today's TV shows, right?
Starting point is 01:35:57 Because like, let's say I'm making LA Law. This is a TV show in the 80s. Every week, this is gonna come on. It's gonna follow some other show that brings me millions of viewers. And I get this chance to sort of grab you every single episode. Nowadays, 10 episodes come out on demand and you have to pull me in in episode one. If it gets good four episodes later, it's not like old school broadcast TV. You don't have four episodes of
Starting point is 01:36:25 following Seinfeld. There's too many options. People will quit you in Kyle's case, 20 minutes into episode one. They'll just say, no, you're not going where I need you to go. Sometimes if it takes more than three seconds to load a page of something I was interested
Starting point is 01:36:42 in reading, like Wikipedia, and you're like, oh, that was neat. I wonder, I'm going to look up something else about the Ottoman Empire and you find some old site and you click and it doesn't quite, it doesn't immediately load every image. You're like, ah, it's in the past of the past. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:36:57 What I don't like is when elements of the page keep loading like a minute later. The worst, ah, it moves me oh my gosh i'm trying to read then all of a sudden that pair like it just swapped paragraphs like unbeknownst to me and now the sentence didn't make sense and it all shifted or if i need to click and you gotta you gotta stay still it happens on reddit when i'm on my mobile does it yeah because the ad loads a second later it's funny it seems
Starting point is 01:37:26 seems to vary it always when i click a fucking link it bumps it down and i click a wrong one always and i'm patient wait as well if i haven't sold you yet there are titties uh there's this there's some okay titties they're not spectacular titties but there are titties there's a game of thrones then the sales pitch tapered off it really did there's titties now there's nothing to write home about I started picturing the titties in order of appearance and it's like oh yeah
Starting point is 01:37:54 there's that crackhead squaw and then there was the 45 year old housewife that was an okay tittie that was just tit that wasn't titties that was just tit. That wasn't titties. That was just tit. You just got one tit? Just one tit, yeah.
Starting point is 01:38:08 I need both. I need some bounce. Yeah, well, you get what you pay. And it's free. Yeah, it's bundled into Prime. You'll get one tit and you'll like it. By the way, you guys should really watch Stranger Things 2. It's amazing. Yeah, I've seen it. I've binge-watched it.
Starting point is 01:38:26 Do you need to see one first? It's kind of what you're describing. Every single episode is straight to the point, pretty much. Do you need to see one first? Uh, yeah. You haven't seen one? It's worth it. I saw it, but I multitasked,
Starting point is 01:38:40 so there's definitely elements of it I didn't see. There's a recap at the beginning of 2. Yeah, true. Well, Kyle, give a quick quiz about Season 1 and we'll see anything that Woody might have missed. I don't recall the characters' names well enough to do it properly. Just describe what they look like. The mousy red-headed chick.
Starting point is 01:39:01 The hot one who's a main character. No. No, the ugly one who's a main character no no the the ugly one who's got glasses okay now her name's the one she's the one that gets lost in the pool and doesn't come back right um no she was she was sitting on the diving board at the pool but it's her friend who actually gets lost and the the redhead yeah i thought that girl was hot and she's the one who dates like the almost two boys or something and goes for the wrong one.
Starting point is 01:39:26 But he ends up doing okay in the end. Well, that's the brunette. The redhead is her mousy friend who's always like, let's get out of here. There's alcohol. Okay. Kind of that move.
Starting point is 01:39:38 Actually, that was the question I was going to ask. If you were going to confuse her with the hot one and you did. So fail. Failed. So, fail. Failed. What about a chance at redemption? What is the little girl
Starting point is 01:39:52 with the shaved head's name? Eleven. There you go. It's a winner. As bad as I am at names, I managed to get that one. Yeah, I mean, if you can't remember that, you know, I think that I love Stranger Things Season 1 so, so much. It's one of my that one yeah yeah i mean if you can't remember that you know i i think that's i love stranger
Starting point is 01:40:06 things season one so so much uh it's it's one of my favorite things i've ever watched um i love the 80s feel of it and i thought the casting was some of the best casting that i've seen in a really long time as good as game of thrones casting coming from someone who's listened to the books and heard the characters described i feel like their casting is very very good for uh virtually all the characters but the feel the way they captured the 80 movies feel from things like et and uh third close encounters of a third kind and goonies like those characters look like people looked in the 80s they're dressed appropriately it was almost like we were a different breed of people. Before you had to be a nine and a half to get a job as an actor.
Starting point is 01:40:51 They're ugly. They're all fucking rough looking kids. These look like dweebs. I thought they grabbed them at the peak of their awkward stage. That dude probably has teeth now. I don't know. That chubby face little fuck with the...
Starting point is 01:41:06 It's actually a genetic disorder, by the way. Oh, so those teeth aren't coming? That's just permanent. Yeah, he actually has them. I don't know if they're real or not. I looked it up. Gumsfeld disease. But yeah, anyway... Oh, that's mean well hopefully he has teeth now he's a fucking famous actor he's getting paid
Starting point is 01:41:32 he's getting that netflix money he's gonna be getting like 13 year old pussy any moment now he's gonna have fucking big old tom cruise teeth in about six months are they also gonna be shifted to the left or something yeah yeah that's that's that's bizarre once once once seen it cannot be unseen the tom cruise teeth are off center uh they are not symmetrical right down the middle like the uh i always mess this word up what do you call that thing below your nose oh i always want to call it a frenulum but that's the that's the penis thing. Yeah. Is it a phentrum or something? A philtrum? Well, anyway, his teeth don't line up perfectly. Is the perineum the thing between your asshole and your nutsack?
Starting point is 01:42:14 Yes. Something like that. Okay. So it's not that. Yeah, I think it's the philtrum. She just wrote it in there, so I got it. Woody pays attention to that because you are always on the lookout for fetal alcohol. Fetal alcohol syndrome. Yeah, a little Bell's palsy. I've got a couple that I'm on the eye.
Starting point is 01:42:32 Is that guy a stroke victim or Bell's palsy? Let's keep going. Let's investigate. Excuse me, sir. I'm an amateur doctor house, you know, like, like being an amateur doctor is not a good thing, but that's what I do as a hobby. So that's what we're up to.
Starting point is 01:42:52 That's what Woody is in his hospital show where they always, just like when house was like, it's lupus. Woody's like, it's fetal alcohol syndrome. Again, like Christ, it's not Dr.
Starting point is 01:43:01 Woody. It's not fetal alcohol syndrome. We know for a fact. It'll come back around. I'm going to go take a bunch of Valium and pass out. Come up with the answer. Put a B-Fentanyl. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:43:14 Vicodin, whatever the fuck. How it's stuck. Yeah. That was a good show for a while. Like, I remember because I'd watch it with my family every week when the new one came out as it was coming around. And even I at a younger age got tired. I mean, I wasn't young when that came out. But even not being a full adult, I got tired of the formulaic, almost cartoonish kind of thing.
Starting point is 01:43:38 It was like, ah, we're in the first six minutes and it's an addiction season. So he's going to go say something snide to cuddy and then she is gonna say something about oh you you go take your pills you old savage and he's like i'm gonna come up with an answer for this and then fucking 15 minutes if they can't figure it out they think before the first commercial break that they figured it out what they thought it was after the first commercial break they realize it wasn't that then they come up with a quick second uh theory and immediately that one's debunked by like a smart black doctor or smart australian doctor and they nip that in the bud and then eventually the last second house
Starting point is 01:44:10 comes up with and like oh my god it's been staring us in the face that's about right yeah yeah and i did watch some house highlights on youtube lately and i was like oh this show is better than i remembered it like there was some stuff in there you'd wonder like how is he going to handle this i liked it when a lady came in and she cheated on her boyfriend but he told the boyfriend it was an immaculate conception but he did it in strange doctor talk having to do with splitting zygotes or something and he preserved their marriage on a really bad start uh because she wasn't supposed to be pregnant she must have fucked somebody until the baby comes out and it's like half Vietnamese or something. And they... Who knew that God was Asian?
Starting point is 01:44:51 There was another woman, the sexsomnia episode, where she had issues of being pregnant, but she was confident that she had never had sex. It turned out she was sleepwalking down to her ex-boyfriend. One of the symptoms that she had was her ex-boyfriend said she was giving him mixed signals. And she's like, I don't know why he's a creep. I wish he'd leave.
Starting point is 01:45:10 But apparently she was fucking him in her sleep. Wow. Good old house. How can that be a thing? That can't be. Does she like finish fucking and then she just back to bed, you know, back to my place? Yeah, that does seem like a lot of period in the morning yeah god damn it i'm tired of doing my lawn my sheets every single every single day where are my sheets yeah exactly stuck to my ass yeah smells like bleach in here
Starting point is 01:45:40 i had that happened with a friend of mine in college where uh we like he was with his girlfriend in his dorm and he his roommate and i we were all good friends and so we you know they were gonna fuck and so me and my other buddy went to my place hang out for a while until they were all finished up we went back to hang out and play more video games and we were sitting there you know freshman year in our dorm in their dorm and they just finished up the girl was gone and i was just sitting there and i smell and i was like god it smells like cum in here like it smells like cum in your dorm what is what is with that why he's like well i threw it away there's a simple explanation for this actually yes yeah well and he's like well it wouldn't smell like cum like i flushed it down the toilet and i I'm like, no, you didn't. No, you didn't.
Starting point is 01:46:25 It reeks of cum in here. It smells like bleachy cum. And then he walked over to the corner, like, wastebasket and was like, oh, you're right. I didn't flush it. I just threw it in here. My bad. And then he took it out and it didn't smell like cum anymore. But that was an annoying thing to call someone on.
Starting point is 01:46:38 It's like you don't have the decency to get the cum smell out of your room before you have people over. Wow. Anyway. Anywho. Yeah. That was kind of a showstopper right there. Sorry. Anybody else ever told someone their home or something smells like cum?
Starting point is 01:47:00 No. Never came up. No? Sorry, I didn't give you guys a lot of jumping off points with that. Very little to go off. Oh, me too? No? Not even close.
Starting point is 01:47:14 Alright. Kyle, you just got back. Do you have anything you wanted to tell us? Well, MeUndies makes feel-good undies your butt will be proud to wear. They will be the most comfortable underwear that you will ever own. And to check it out yourself go to MeUndies.com.pka with tons of styles and patterns to choose from for both men and the ladies. MeUndies will have the perfect fit for any personality. MeUndies, uh, the MeUndies feeling is unmatched because they use a naturally soft fabric that is three times softer than cotton called Modal. For a limited time only, check out Mia Undies' first ever glow-in-the-dark
Starting point is 01:47:49 prints. Lights out. That's right, your underwear's going to glow. Why not update your underwear drawer and glow at the same time? And if underwear isn't your thing, Mia Undies also makes the softest socks in the world. You can get 20% off the best and softest pair of underwear and socks you will ever own with free shipping and a 100% satisfaction guarantee. Just go to MeUndies.com slash PKA. That's MeUndies.com slash PKA. I didn't know they made socks. I'm excited to get my glow-in-the-dark pair.
Starting point is 01:48:18 That's going to be a showstopper at the end of a successful date. I want to see a Tinder picture in the dark where nothing is visible but the MeUndies. It's just... They'll be on the floor. It's just beautiful MeUndies. Package on display. Yeah, definitely check them out. I wear their underwear all the time.
Starting point is 01:48:35 I do as well. I have a whole drawer full of them. I've done away with any and all other kinds of underwear. I just have MeUndies now. So every time I open up the underwear drawer and slide a new pair on, it's just heaven. It it's just wonderful i know it's gonna be a good underwear day it's it's good shit so big fan you had two halloween parties in a row this weekend taylor were either of them uh successful by any measure i don't know how to where to where to jump into
Starting point is 01:48:59 this uh no not uh nothing nothing more than i made out of a bar with some girl who i we we talked for like three minutes she was like you want a cigarette and i was like are you sure and then just went out there and and that was and then that was it and then we walked back in and i'm like i'm gonna go find my friends and then and then i never saw her again i kind of forgot about her now i know that woody finds the cigarette breath an abhorrent thing. Abhorrent? It's been since high school, but that was like a showstopper for me. As a matter of fact, after the first time, never again.
Starting point is 01:49:34 I would turn down heavy kissing because it was just a showstopper. Not interested. Did it bother you at all, Taylor? It's not the most pleasant thing, but it didn't bother me at all. I had horrible beer breath, I'm sure. Or no, I didn't, because I use smart mouth. So I probably smelled fantastic. But it didn't bother me.
Starting point is 01:49:51 I actually, this is like different than the whole, you know, smoking kiss breath. Or, yeah, smoky kissing breath. But I don't mind the smell of cigarettes. Because my grandparents, when I was growing up, used to smoke in the house. And so I'd associate the smell of cigarettes like oh grandma and grandpa here Like I never met Yeah, no Memo fuck what the fuck the camels I think they smoked camels
Starting point is 01:50:17 But then uh one day they just stopped cold turkey my grandma got hypnotized And then she stopped after going to like a hypnotist and my grandpa who's like uh grew up without running water like dirt floors outhouse or i guess they both grew up like that in missouri yeah and uh he was one day he was just like i'm done like i'm not smoking anymore and he immediately switched to chewing tobacco and uh they make it clear all the time to us that like yep i hit 80 80. I'm going right back And it's so yeah, they're gonna start smoking again at 80 cuz yeah, just seeing where it goes So they've got what six more years five six more years so they can know what to get a birthday Fucking carton of cigarettes. Yeah, I used to hide
Starting point is 01:50:59 I don't know if I said this on PK But I used to when I was little I used to hide the cigarettes cuz I didn't mind the smell but I knew it was Like bad cuz my mom always like I just wish that they would not smoke around the kids and not Smokes I remember all the time. We've been driving down like a country road, and they'd have their window Just like just a just a tiny little bit and they'd be smoking in the car And you just fucking get used to it, but I would hide their cigarette packs, and it always start out like Taylor Where's my cigarettes now? You know grandpa's gonna be upset when he gets back you know that right and i'm like ha ha ha ha ha just like running around the house with like eight packs of
Starting point is 01:51:32 cigarettes hidden until like eventually it would go from like uh uh stop like show us where the cigarettes are to like now taylor do you want to go to toys r us later because we are not going if you don't show us where these cigarettes are? And it's like yeah sure So I'd always give him the cigarettes back I like that they went with the carrot over the stick because I thought it was gonna be like Tyler How would you like to get a lecture cute? You'll go out you want me to get the hot stick like I thought was gonna get scary a little violent Oh, no, no, my grandparents are wonderful wonderful people. They would never choose the stick over the carrot
Starting point is 01:52:04 They did yell at me. I feel like you just insulted my mom. Oh, my parents are wonderful. They would never hit me. They never, ever took ice scrapers and beat me into submission, or took a high-heeled shoe and gave me what was coming. And my mom wants everyone to know I was a very bad person it's all warranted I want you to know I I'd only had 14 beers tell the officer I'd only had 14 it they say saying I had a case, but that's bullshit.
Starting point is 01:52:46 I'll have you know I'm a weekend crack user. Only once everything's done. Monday through Friday, I'm on a straight and narrow, motherfucker. Well, I mean, I do a little meth to pick me up in the morning. You're telling me you don't have a couple rocks on the weekend to loosen up?
Starting point is 01:53:01 All right. Each their own, Mr. Ivory Tower. on the weekend the loosen up all right each their own mr ivory tower yeah that is uh i i've never really asked friends or acquaintances of mine if they've ever tried something like meth or crack but i i don't think that any of them have you know like i i know that i have friends who have tried like like cocaine before, but heroin, crack, meth, I feel like you would know, at least with crack and meth, because you pick at your face and your teeth turn brown. Or maybe that's only the worst of it.
Starting point is 01:53:34 That's a thing down a lot of it. So I was thinking about my drug schooling. As it stands now, I hardly know the order of which ones are worse. I don't know if heroin's worse than meth. Because I think heroin's a little more subtle so it can pull you in more easily. Whereas meth is a shit show on day one where maybe it pushes you away. I'm not sure. They acted like cocaine was going to...
Starting point is 01:54:00 Oh yeah, you take it and then you just keep taking it because it's so wonderful. And before long your nostrils are connected and you've got this bloody pulp of a face and weird nose jobs and shit. And so here it is. Sometimes not knowing the truth can be good for you. And I saw, I think it was Jordan Peterson who said this. And he was like, you know, you've got, you got a porcupine over there, right? And porcupines can throw their quills, right? Well, they can't actually. Porcupines can't throw their quills. But if you think they can, then maybe you stay seven feet from them instead of one foot from them because porcupines can throw their quills.
Starting point is 01:54:38 Well, that's where maybe I am with cocaine. Like if you think cocaine is a first-time hooked you, ruined you type thing then maybe that lie they told me was good for me or maybe or maybe you try cocaine once and you're like hey but they lied to me maybe they were maybe not only were they lying about the addictive nature of this drug
Starting point is 01:55:00 maybe they were also lying about its negative effects those bastards so you can go down that road as well that's true like the whole uh ecstasy ecstasy thing where for the longest time they're like you know that that like just bores a hole in your brain right did you guys hear that i never heard that but but you know it was thrown in there as one of the scarier like don't do that oh don't do that the ecstasy thing like the way they taught it to me i don't know what's true but they're like yeah most people are fine on it like one in a hundred
Starting point is 01:55:31 insta death you know do you feel like rolling the dice and you know it might be fine for you today and then not fine for you tomorrow because these are all like street pills and see you know how you know that's total bullshit is every rave in the country would have a death toll if that were true yeah like it'd be like another another you know pretty lights or skrillex show happened only 12 dead this time pretty good ratio like like no because and i think the the real issue with ecstasy is that sometimes you get something that's not ecstasy and it's bad for you but i think in a lot of raves now and a lot of places I've heard that they'll test it for you.
Starting point is 01:56:08 You can go up to a dude and he'll test your ecstasy and, oh yeah, turn blue. Have a good time. They have a drug testing guy now? What does ecstasy... Does anyone know what the effect of it seems to make girls horny? I've heard that. Is that true?
Starting point is 01:56:23 It's to make you euphoric and have energy and want to dance a lot, I guess. When I hear people talk about drugs sometimes, I'm like, you know, caffeine practically does that. How much better than caffeine is it? No, it doesn't. Oh, my God. Nobody's ever had half of a Coke and been like, God, I feel great. I feel fantastic. I feel fantastic! Sometimes I'm dragging my ass into Painkiller already.
Starting point is 01:56:50 I have a coffee, and now I'm excited. But you're not over there on that rug going, I can feel the music! Your pupils aren't the size of saucers. You just keep tapping your desk and standing up for no reason and like moving around. So, oh, it was actually like a couple weeks ago. There was a guy who said I was on a drug on the subreddit. Like he nailed, like, I'm just afraid it'll take me like three minutes to find.
Starting point is 01:57:19 What drug did he say you were on? It might have been cocaine. God, I'm going to look for it. Well, I mean, he just said it looked like you were on cocaine. Yeah, but he had a lot of confidence that I was on something. Did you almost say he nailed it? That's what I understood. I did say something like that, but because... He did say that. Confirmed. All right, PKA 367. Alright. I'm going to just look for the post with my name in them.
Starting point is 01:57:51 I don't think I've... I've bumped into people and I can remember being with some dudes that I didn't really know very well and smoking cigarettes and one of them saying something about meth. And I was like, ah, meth, not even once. You know what I mean?
Starting point is 01:58:06 He's like, well, I've done it a couple times. And the other guy was like, yeah, yeah, me too. And I was like, oh, shit. All right. I'm going to run. I'll catch you guys later. I didn't know I was dealing with a couple of meth. The real rule is meth no more than twice.
Starting point is 01:58:23 That was their fucking rule, apparently. No more than ten times a week. Shucks, I'm not finding it. But yeah, the guy was completely convinced I was on drugs, and all I had was a cup of coffee. And I've known a couple girls who used to do heroin and had big issues with it. It was a major thing in their lives.
Starting point is 01:58:43 I've never known any dudes that did heroin or talked about it or anything. I know a guy who went to prison for heroin dealing. He played on my hockey team years ago. I knew a guy that died from overdose. He was the brother of one of my exes.
Starting point is 01:58:59 At the time? Or you found out after? It is long gone I think it was a year year and a half after we broke up Yes, sorry. He's used to call me dragging. He's like a big brother Wanted to be overly cool and he was always drugged up and you just looking he's like what's some dragon what you saw? My and for me it is awkward right is the big right um i like that your nickname was dragon now did anyone else ever call you dragon no no he was the one he was the one i lost it now so now nobody
Starting point is 01:59:36 calls me dragon i can just see like getting a new job like hey i'm uh i'm rock on they uh they call me dragon. The Dragon. Drag for short, whatever. And one of my good friends when I was very small, he overdosed when he was like 16 or so. On heroin? I don't know on what, but on either heroin, cocaine, or one of these drugs. I have no idea. Did he die or did he just overdose?
Starting point is 02:00:06 Well, we kind of think it was a suicide because he left some notes, but I don't know if he wrote the note and used the press and it just happened or if he actually caused it to happen. But there was a note apparently. I don't know what the note said. Are you sure it wasn't fetal alcohol? It was tested at a concert.
Starting point is 02:00:23 Bell's palsy? That can take a while to come into effect. You could be 35, Bell's palsy kicks in, you're dead. That's how it works. Dr. Woody, if we perform a diagnostic for Bell's palsy and fetal alcohol syndrome on every patient that comes through those doors, we're gonna lose a lot of people. I don't care about that!
Starting point is 02:00:40 We do the checklist. Did you guys see Wendy Williams passing out live on her show on the We do the checklist. Did you guys see Wendy Williams passing out live on her show on the Halloween edition? Yeah, I saw a GIF of it. I didn't hear if she was talking at the time or anything. Her eyes just get giant and she topples right over. It's hilarious.
Starting point is 02:00:59 Let me try to find one with audio. It's pretty scary when you see people faint. It looked like she had a fucking stroke. It's not like a like because i think we've all seen the gif of that news lady fainting where she like stumbles back but her eyes are already like closed like she's out this is like her eyes are open the whole time this is oh yeah right here all right so like let me just throw this out that she's fine okay you know's fine. She came back after the commercial break and said she was overheated because of her costume. So it's fine to completely mock
Starting point is 02:01:29 and have fun with this. It's just fucking hilarious. I was laughing at it when I thought she'd had a stroke, if I'm being honest. It looked like she had a fucking stroke. That costume doesn't look that hot. Yeah, I was thinking that. There's a lot of tit heat able to escape.
Starting point is 02:01:43 There's a bit of drafts going on down here. Yeah, there's some cleavage. I'm queued up. Is everyone ready? I was thinking that. There's a lot of tit heat able to escape. There's a bit of drafts going on down here. Yeah, there's some cleavage. I'm queued up. Is everyone ready? I'm all ready. Ready, set, play. How you doing? Halloween costume contest.
Starting point is 02:01:54 We do it every year. It's always a lot of fun. Let's get started. She's already suffering. Our first caress. He's down! Holy shit. God damn!
Starting point is 02:02:12 Yeah. Well, she's back. That was not a stunt. I'm overheated in my costume, and I did pass out. But you know what? I'm a champ, and I'm back. Jesus Christ. That's rough.
Starting point is 02:02:28 Cocaine is a hell of a drug. That has to be something. That's not the way you faint. Yeah. I've had moments where I stood up really quickly, and I'll be willing to bet a million bucks I don't look like that. Exactly. I've passed out plenty of times. That ain't how it goes down.
Starting point is 02:02:45 Wendy Williams, she's lost a lot of weight recently. She's on something to help with the weight. Probably, you know, some sort of amphetamine or cocaine or something. She was fucked up there. One of her eyes got bigger than the other. I'm not a medical expert by any means.
Starting point is 02:03:02 That shouldn't stop us. Oh, Bell's palsy! Did you say it's symmetrical? When I saw her left eye get bigger, like, it seemed like the left side of her face was doing something different than the right. I was like, oh shit, did she just fucking stroke out? Like, I, you know, I, I, that's what I, I didn't know that she had come, came right back. The original video I'd seen was like a cell phone recording a DVR recording, and I was like, is she dead? Like, like, like, is she deadR recording and I was like is she dead? Is she dead now?
Starting point is 02:03:28 What happened? She looked like a fighter that gets knocked out and tries to immediately stand up and can't walk. The brain's not working right. Yeah, that brain turned off. That was insane. She was trying to hold on for a second. It's hilarious because because the costume too right
Starting point is 02:03:45 like i'm not buying that right she's wearing like a dress hilarious oh i see she's dressed as lady liberty like i don't think the costume overheated her i think it's funny but and it chis just wrote it she looks like she saw a demon yeah i agree like she has a black lady she looked like she'd seen a clown in a police uniform i'm wearing a really flowy costume with an open front and a loose skirt i overheated really the fuck you did jeans are hotter than that yeah she's under the lights and everything i was just thinking that too those lights you can they're easy to underestimate they get very very very fucking hot it's it's like an easy bake oven sometimes but uh and she's i don't know if that's a wig or not probably that's a wig yeah yeah and uh then they colored her hair just for
Starting point is 02:04:30 this in some way but whatever hilarious to watch a celebrity go down especially in a goofy ass costume who's wendy williams like i never heard of her until just now is she a view person i i don't know much about in my world rock on one on one is a bigger star than wendy williams yeah i know him she's got a talk show and and that's all i really know about wendy williams i think she may have been on the view at one point but they cycle in annoying women so often frequently that it's it's hard to keep track i I'm going to have that as my channel logo. Like her with the big... Woody's Gamer Tags, number one fan or something like that.
Starting point is 02:05:15 In Woody's world, I'm bigger than Wendy Williams. Yeah, exactly. I love when celebrities fall and stuff like that. I watched Kelsey Grammer take a dive off the stage the other day. I think it was an old clip. It's pretty funny. Yikes. It was a state... I don't even know who Kelsey Grammer take a dive off the stage the other day. I think it was an old clip. It's pretty funny. I don't even know who Kelsey Grammer is. Frazier?
Starting point is 02:05:30 I've never seen that sort of Frazier. Sideshow Bob? Oh, yeah. I just looked him up. I know who that is now. Yeah. It's a really funny clip of the stage wasn't just flat on the edge. Let's watch it. It's like 30 seconds. The stage isn't flat. It's sort of how land erodes by the ocean flat. It's sort of how land
Starting point is 02:05:46 erodes by the ocean, how it's sort of in and out, in and out, like in a weird pattern. The stage is like that, and he just walks right off it. He's talking about how small of a world it is. Yeah, it is. You just ended it. The sacrifices I make for PKA. I just got a text from this fucking Tinder girl.
Starting point is 02:06:04 Hey! With like four E's on it. And nothing's gonna happen because we've got two more hours of this. I make for PKA. I just got a text from this fucking tinder girl a With like four E's on it and nothing's gonna happen. We've got two more hours No, reply let us know how this goes Reply back and see if she want like hey, I'm actually doing my my podcast It's going out to a couple hundred thousand people right now. You want to be on the show? They'd like to see What tenders all about I've never. There's a 0% chance of that. Get a crazy bitch in your house. Can we just share the conversation? You don't even have to do it in secret.
Starting point is 02:06:33 You can say, hey, I'm doing a show right now. There's a couple hundred thousand people watching or listening. What do you think? I don't know. I'm really new at Tinder. I just started this a few seconds ago. But say, I want to do this conversation on air it'd be so fun right like if she doesn't work out there's another one right tell her you have a town a modeling talent scout the dragon dragon. He's on the show right now.
Starting point is 02:07:07 This is turning into rape by deception. Not here. I own a production company. Yeah, I'm from Spain, exactly. He's from Spain. It's a Spanish company. I'm more famous than that Wendy Williams chick. You can be completely honest up front.
Starting point is 02:07:22 Do whatever. Just, like, I don't know. What's this girl look like? Do this. Describe her. Yeah. You said she had four ears? I don't know what they look like, so I have to, like, look at their name and then go back to the pictures in Tinder.
Starting point is 02:07:36 Oh, what a struggle. Burnette hair, thin thin can't tell about I mean it looks like a great body just talk to I want this conversation my exposure to tinder are like the best of tinders on the subreddit
Starting point is 02:07:58 like the uh there's a tinder subreddit where they like funny things happen say something do a Taylor line I will maybe I'll tell her hey want to come over at subreddit where funny things happen. Say something. Do a Taylor line. I will. Maybe I'll tell her, hey, want to come over at 10.30? That's a Taylor line? That's probably what
Starting point is 02:08:13 I'll do, is text her at 10.30. And I'll have to shower. Well, then do it on the show. No, I'm not going to shower on the show. That's not appropriate. That's a strong point. Yeah, I see where you're coming from. You want to talk about getting demonetized. But, oh, don't just let this sit
Starting point is 02:08:29 into... We have an opportunity here. No, I'm not inviting a Tinder girl on the show. That's so fucking weird. It's perfect. It's applying... Why don't we just meet now and see if we hate each other? Why don't we meet now and see if everybody hates you?
Starting point is 02:08:44 It's not going to work if Taylor isn't gung-ho for it, is my thing. So if Taylor's iffy about it, it's just not going to work. He has to be like 100% like, yeah, we're going to fucking get her. Can I make a proposition? This would be great. Can I make a proposition? So why don't we create a fake Tinder profile and then do that? See if somebody responds within the next...
Starting point is 02:09:02 You know what would be... All right, so here is... My own competition? No, thanks. To do the fake... My own competition? No thanks. Here's what the fake Tinder profile needs to be. It needs to be... You do one of those that morph website and amalgamation of all three of our faces
Starting point is 02:09:13 named Brad and that's the guy who's got to be like saying the slick stuff to ladies. Now that would be interesting. Like we'd let Taylor do the input because... Okay Christopher Robin then Chiz. We'll name him Chiz because that's a cool name. How about that? Twyler?
Starting point is 02:09:29 We can put a paperboy hat on him. We can say my hobbies include turn-of-the-century knitting. Hear me out on this. Taking nine days to get mail. I think Taylor would be the one to handle the Tinder account because he's in the best area for picking up ladies.
Starting point is 02:09:47 But you would do an amalgamation of all three of our faces and an amalgamation of all three of our interests. And then on the show live, whenever we got a few hits, if we had someone we could speak to live, we could coordinate together to bounce pickup lines off of potential ladies. I think that would be very funny. I eat fast food for every meal. I'm also a huge hockey fan and can spot fetal alcohol syndrome at 100 yards. I really like that. I used that Morse website the other day, and I combined all three of our faces. Now, I combined me and Woody, and that's a good-looking cat.
Starting point is 02:10:20 All right? That's a good-looking cat. It's got the bottom of Woody's face, the top of my it's it's slick alright it was a good for this it does it yeah yeah it's I don't know it's like face more for calm or some shit but then the only capture I had of Taylor to add I got him off Google Images so it wasn't a high quality image and it gave us like we look like a Warhammer general like because your eyebrows like came up to the hairline and then down like in big eminent like like like the McDonald's
Starting point is 02:10:51 Arch and then like your beard got all curfuddled and it just turned into a real abomination of a human being I think when you do those morphs if you pick someone without a beard and someone with the beard it just takes the average so it turns it into a patchy shitty beard And neck beard. Yeah, basically a neck beard So well come on. Let's why don't we actually try it? I'm willing to offer something in exchange Well, we would have to we would have to like get this We don't get a response
Starting point is 02:11:23 Well, this is a next week show. The worst thing that could happen is you take 30 minutes of this show to set it up and it's a dead bit. That's exactly what happens. That's exactly. Because you're like, all right, now let's see who swipes. Do this properly. We each need to take selfies. Send them to Taylor.
Starting point is 02:11:40 He needs to make the morph thing on his computer. Then he needs to put it on his phone. And then he needs to make an account. And then computer then he needs to like put it on his phone and then he needs to like make an account and then it's a there's a lot of setup for this for this bit but i think it'd be kind of funny you know if everybody's into it i would also be it's like i'm really interested in playing with tinder conversations but that's not kosher like with the relationship i have with jackie like you know yeah Oh my God, the stereotype of the guy who's like, you know, I'm just going to put some things out there
Starting point is 02:12:07 and see, you know, just as a joke. Like, yeah, that guy's a dick, right? So that's why I was going to put one out there as a cat or a dog or something and try to pick up men because that seemed like as far as I could get from actually being unfaithful as possible. But unless all the jokes are true,
Starting point is 02:12:25 which I just processed. But yeah, this is a better idea. We'll just have Taylor handle it all or something. I don't know how to switch Tinder profiles. I don't know if you can have one and then switch to another one. Because I already have one on my phone, obviously.
Starting point is 02:12:41 I mean, we pay to get you an Amazon Fire device or something. They're like $40 or something, you know, and just put a profile on it. And I'll make the bit happen, whatever it takes. I want it to happen. I'm just saying, you guys can do the try-hard one where you do the combination of faces and everything, and then you do it for next show. Or we can half-ass one and just, you know, if nothing goes, we're not going to spend 30 minutes for an hour.
Starting point is 02:13:03 I don't know. It would take 10 minutes just to morph the face. You'll be tuning in next week. That's called a teaser. I'm willing to eat one of these. Oh, outstanding. I accept your terms. Eat it.
Starting point is 02:13:15 Well, that's going to happen soon anyway. That's happening regardless of we're kidding you right now. I'm going to be so sad if I just start getting a ton of food. It's one of the world's hottest chilies. I'm not gonna boot Hulukia. It's about one million still balls. It's the natives say. Or as the natives call it.
Starting point is 02:13:32 Can you show it to us? Google it. It's called the ghost chili pepper. It's freaking insane. I've already had it once. Hold it to the camera so I know how big it is. Here's a Red Bull. Is there one chili in there?
Starting point is 02:13:48 Yeah, there's several. There's like 15. Is there some reason you can't... Crack open the package, baby! You've got enough peppers in there to kill us. If I touch this with my fingers and then touch my eyeball, I'm off the show. I've eaten one of these before and when they say you shit lava it's not
Starting point is 02:14:07 a joke it actually properly hurts i bet it does i i wouldn't do it oh now it's bigger than i thought that's what she said now spin it is it flat or is it it's a dried pepper yeah man now when you eat this will it be one bite or two bites? Do you chew it or just down it? Last time I did it, I chewed it, and then I downed it. I mean, but if you do this right now, for the next... No, it needs to be to the end. No, no, no.
Starting point is 02:14:36 I'm out. So there's a few things that happened. One of the things is I felt weak at the knees. I couldn't stand up. I lost my taste buds for three days. Everything tasted metallic. And then the third thing that happens is you can't speak more than two seconds without going. It would have to happen at the end of the show.
Starting point is 02:15:00 It can't be the very end. It sounds like there's at least 30 minutes of show content here. At the three-hour mark, we should do it. Yeah, at the three-hour mark. Because I definitely don't want to be like, I'll exaggerate to make a point, at 3.55, and then he's just experiencing it, and we end. Pump that viewer retention.
Starting point is 02:15:24 We'll wait until the very end to ruin his life. No, no. I suspect there's more to learn. Taylor's on the money with this. Yeah, I want to see what it's like 30 minutes later. He says he's done. This started as a trade. I want to see it at five.
Starting point is 02:15:39 No, I don't recall any trades. I accepted your turn. I'm not making a fake Tinder account. By the way, if I start getting more attention on the made up amalgamated face tender than I do on my real one I'm gonna kill myself right cuz they're gonna get a little bit of Kyle's face in there and like this guy's wave this guy's good-looking the combination of me and Woody was better looking than either me or Woody I was like god damn God damn, that's a good looking guy right there.
Starting point is 02:16:05 We should have babies, Kyle. And you look at it and you're like, I see me. It's like me and Woody had a child together. That's what it looks like. It's very attractive. Very eerie. You don't still have it, do you? If Woody, I actually, I tried to, I control F'd
Starting point is 02:16:22 and went back and tried to find it and it said the page you're looking for is not, uh, doesn't exist anymore. Um. He'd get into the champagne room for free. Guaranteed. Yeah. Mmm. Bad guy. Yep. So, three hours it is. You've got
Starting point is 02:16:37 I, I, no, honestly, I'd recommend I'd recommend three hours and a half because I, it's like, in those 30 minutes it's all you're going to get. After that it's just going to be annoying. You're just going to hear Anyways. Your recommendation has been heard
Starting point is 02:16:55 but we're going with Taylor's. There's only 23 minutes left. I interrupted with the Tinder talk, but we were watching Kelsey Grammer fall off stage, the Frasier man. That's right. I almost forgot.
Starting point is 02:17:12 Just switching the screens. Did you have a backstory thing to say about this guy? Oh, no. We're just watching celebrities fall. That's all we're doing. Episode 269. Before we get into it, how long should I keep the episode 269?
Starting point is 02:17:26 Do you guys know what I'm talking about? You guys might not even know. So here, I'm going to take a screenshot. I'm struggling to do this. Just so you know, when I share videos and stuff, this is what it looks like. And it's been that way for like 100 episodes almost. So like two years. Yes. It's been two years since we've updated this one.
Starting point is 02:17:53 I used to do it every – I don't know if I ever did it every show, but I used to try to keep up with it. You know, it's been a couple years. I think it's time to update it. There's a very good suggestion on the Reddit. You just don't put a number. Yeah, it's time to update it should we there's a very good suggestion on the reddit you just don't put a number yeah yeah that's actually good that would work i guess um i don't know i tried to like get rid of it and overwrite it with the like shade next to it it looked really amateur it looked like a kid finger painted it or something.
Starting point is 02:18:26 I just feel like we should do something big at some point, like episode 300 extravaganza, and then leave it there until 500. I don't know. Until 500. So this is a very long con. But, yeah.
Starting point is 02:18:42 Anyway, you guys ready to watch this video? I am all squared away on Kelsey Grammer falling off the stage. My nipples are ready. 3, 2, 1, yeah. Anyway, you guys ready to watch this video? I am all squared away on Kelsey Grammer falling off the stage. My nipples are ready. Three, two, one, play. ...trip through. It's a small world pretending I was a UN interpreter. So pretentious. I think I'm...
Starting point is 02:19:03 Wow. That was really, really bad. I'm so sorry for my life. He's lucky he didn't bounce his head off the edge of that little like stage i'm torn like on one hand he seemed like he took it like a pussy you know it there was a real kind of like oh my god serious engine number 97 the like rain man or something like making him he just dropped straight down and landed on his feet. You know, like, I feel like a better man would have been like, can you believe that? I'm fine.
Starting point is 02:19:50 I'm so lucky. But he didn't do that. You know, and even afterwards, after he did like his self-diagnosis, he said, I need another minute. But then again, you know, I haven't been battled yet. So maybe I'll change my mind. For a second, I thought he was going to go for that Peter Griffin though. Because he did for two times. But I mean, he did say, I think I'm okay.
Starting point is 02:20:11 Did he fall on his face or did he fall on his feet? No, he fell onto his feet. Yeah, and he didn't fall. He just found himself on his feet. A few feet lower. Yeah, I feel like the embarrassment would be way worse than anything.
Starting point is 02:20:25 Yeah, I think he bumped his leg on the side of the stage on the way down, but that is not a satisfactory injury. That's the kind of shit you brush off. Well, we should get him on the line and tell him to shape up. Indeed, yeah. We should. I looked up pictures of Bell's palsy on google images and now i'm just sad it only lasts a couple of weeks typically oh now i'm not sad two months and you get it back
Starting point is 02:20:53 it's it's just an unfortunate episode in your life that you kind of i remember that time i had bell's palsy no chilies again for me ever yeah it's better than cerebral palsy you don't get a couple weeks of that that's yeah that's for life yeah is it it's better than cerebral palsy. You don't get a couple weeks of that. That's for life. Yeah, is it always born with? Does cerebral palsy start at birth? Before birth? I don't know. Let's see.
Starting point is 02:21:16 Kyle, what's your favorite kind of palsy? Palsy dog? Types of palsy. Oh, no. It can jump in any time. It's just rare for it to happen after 40, I guess.
Starting point is 02:21:30 You guys are fucked! And then, of course, you look up, cerebral palsy and the picture they show is a little cartoon girl sitting with a teddy bear next to her in her chair giving a smile that it's just a little fucky oh that's sad said it's like the same I think it's not like evolution or evolution is think that like when you see deformed people or people with diseases like that you're supposed to get like a visceral like oh wow kind of reaction
Starting point is 02:22:08 is like ooh not clean not for procreating like that kind of thing. Like they're a spider. Like not well okay. That's one way. Kyle this link doesn't work. I know. Yeah. I tried.
Starting point is 02:22:25 Oh she's got it. Yeah, it was kind of a fuck up. Ah, you guys combined into a Tom Hardy vibe. Yeah, right? I totally agree. This is much better looking than both of you.
Starting point is 02:22:40 Yeah. It's a little fucked up. The first time I did it it went better even eyes it's like there's a weird filter going on do i have a beard in my picture yes so we're both bringing both bringing the beard yeah yeah yeah it seemed like a good idea i think i brought all the neck beard yeah you didn't contribute to the neck part at all. That's all Woody. So then when you add me, you just get fucked up eyebrows. The head gets larger.
Starting point is 02:23:11 The eyes got weird when I added Taylor to this. It was a real mess. That guy could get laid. That guy we're looking at, he could pull some tail. Oh, yeah, absolutely. Adding Taylor to the mix was like adding an extra chromosome to a child it probably made him very loving you know oh my god poor muscle development oh yeah that's funny we should definitely look into doing the combined face tinder thing if we
Starting point is 02:23:43 can get one that looks enough like a real person. This is clearly not a real person. Yeah, absolutely not. This is just to kind of give you a vibe of the combined facial features. The issue is that the pictures I'm having to work with are pulled off the internet really quickly, like the first ones I come to. So we would need
Starting point is 02:24:00 to start with better pictures. What is happening at the shoulders there? That's confusing me too. Does my head start in the middle of my neck or something i i i don't know this is not this is not genetic manipulate manipulation technology this is maybe i do this too much this is a free website yeah yeah this is facemorfer.com so things didn't end they ended about as expected honestly so we'll do a better job maybe what are we going to name our
Starting point is 02:24:32 the amalgamation of the three of us I'll start with Twiler you know it's a combo there's a TW Kyle thing I kind of like Twiler no no girl's fucking a Twiler no well you know you can't just be against something Kyle thing. I kind of like Twyler. No, no girl's fucking a Twyler. No? Well, you know, you can't just be
Starting point is 02:24:47 against something. You have to be for something better. It's like choosing a restaurant. Is this a Grindr account or a Tinder account? I don't see any reason why it has to be just one. Okay. Dude, I feel like Grindr is probably infinitely dirtier than Tinder. And easier to score.
Starting point is 02:25:04 Just because it's all men like there's probably no beating around the bush and having to like pretend that you care about their cat or their dog or and read their shit and be like i i just swiped if i swiped right it's probably because of your dog i like adventures uh don't uh i like eating ice cream late at night i'm not down for netflix and chill i'm more about amazon and commitment and it's like oh i haven't seen that on fucking 60 girls profiles woohoo amazon and commitment is that code for i like it when you buy me or hulu and commitment or something instead of like netflix and chill because netflix and chill is just code for like uh you want to come over and i'll put
Starting point is 02:25:41 something on tv and then briefly netflix and chill in my life meant watching Netflix and relaxing. Were you like, Hope, Colin, Netflix and chill! I swear there was like a three or four week period. Pajamas optional! I swear there was a period where it didn't mean sex for a little while. Like, oh, Netflix and chill, yeah, I totally... Like, I was just vibing it. And then... I think it always meant
Starting point is 02:26:07 sex. Because it's just an easier way than saying, like, hey, you want me to go put something on in the background and then we can fuck? Well, there was a time where the people in my immediate circle didn't know that. So we were like, Netflix and chillin' as a family. Yeah, those goddamn kids. Netflix and chillin' as a family.
Starting point is 02:26:23 If you posted that as a Facebook update, I would lose it. That's fucking fair. I saw that Reddit post where, like, the girl was, I don't know, Italian or something, and she didn't understand, she didn't know what gangbang meant, so they told her that gangbang meant when you're hanging out with your friends. So it's, like, her and five guys, and she posts, like, just about to do my first gangbang with some friends. That's great.
Starting point is 02:26:48 Yeah, Netflix and chill with your family. That's a good status post. I'm trying to think. Kyle, you know. You use Tinder. There you go. Is there anything more than adventure? Because every girl likes adventure.
Starting point is 02:27:02 Every girl likes travel. Travel, adventure, fashion, shopping. Oh, they all love animals. It's just like, where are the girls who stomp on animals out there? Those don't fucking exist anymore. Like, where are the puppy stomping bitches? That's what I'm looking for. Like, you know, everybody loves animals.
Starting point is 02:27:22 You just want to be like, who doesn't? You unoriginal cunt you know like everybody likes puppies like like hitler had a dog he loved him he loved that fucking dog yeah like all that adventure means i think you said this kyle was like it just means i don't want to come over and hook up without having to say i don't want to come over and hook up it's like oh let's go do something you know that whole thing is is about you know convincing you have to get they just need to convince themselves that that what they're doing isn't going to make them feel bad that that that that that's that's the whole thing about them not wanting to hook up early is like they don't want to feel bad about themselves, and they don't want you to think less of them.
Starting point is 02:28:07 So if you can dissect the situation enough to eliminate those two objections, you can get right to the heart of the matter. That's really what it is. It's about eliminating objections. Sales and overcoming objections. Yeah. Yeah, because it's really almost like a plausible deniability thing. Like, well, I said in my profile I don't want to hook up and then it ended up happening so it must have been so great on a scale from one to ten one being you're ready to block me right now and ten being
Starting point is 02:28:33 you want my address where would you say you are right now role play uh maybe like a three all right good at least i'm not at least the conversation isn't about to be over. Let me ask you, what would it take to get you to a ten right now? Two. Oh, wow. What a cunt. I would block you.
Starting point is 02:28:59 I'm a real bitch. I'd just block you at that point. I'm wasting my time here. She's smarmy, isn't she? What an unpleasant girl. I don't want to fuck her anyway. Are you sure? You sure? I'd reply with a one.
Starting point is 02:29:15 Should I read you the skill again? Yes. You realize ten's the highest, right? You did realize that? Okay. Okay. It's overcoming objections slash eliminating objections however you want to look at it it's uh it's that sort of thing and and you know because they like sex as much as we like sex they they want to fuck as much as we want to fuck they just that doesn't seem true that's not true that's yeah go walk up to 20 women in public and ask if they want to have, they've literally done studies about this where, you know.
Starting point is 02:29:50 I've seen YouTube social experiments. That's a different thing. Are you sure you're not? That's a whole different thing. No, no, no. You're comparing apples and oranges. What I said was they like sex as much as we want to like sex. They want to have sex as much as we want to have sex.
Starting point is 02:30:02 I didn't say that if you walk up to a woman and ask her if she wants to have sex, she's going to tell you the truth. Of course she's not. She's going to be insulted, put off, a little afraid, and it's not going to go well. What I'm saying is that inside, she wants to do this thing, but there are roadblocks between you and her making that happen. And it's about getting around or through or over those roadblocks. Someone's going to put this over music. Like they do. Like,
Starting point is 02:30:31 of course, if you're talking about just from the pleasure aspect of it, then yes, I agree with you. Women enjoy the pleasure of sex as much as men enjoy. Especially when they're with me. If you're talking about the desire for sex, like the,
Starting point is 02:30:42 I need to fuck. Like I'm horny. I want that. It doesn't come no woman in history on tinder hold on no woman in history has ever been as horny as i am right now doing this podcast is it the hollister it's the hollister isn't it it's not even close like just the desire itself and that desire needs to be different because men are the ones who have to go out and seek it you know you need a really strong desire because sometimes it can be a pain in the ass to
Starting point is 02:31:07 try and get laid but you have to push through like it's just if you're talking about pleasure it that was poor phrasing that was i love those those eyes kyle that's funny what's that but uh yeah if you're talking about pleasure i agree agree with you. On the same page. But willingness to fuck and the actual desire to seek it out, not even close. What I was getting at is that she wants to do the same thing that you want to do. But there are roadblocks there and emotional roadblocks and mental roadblocks. You just got to get around by being honest and putting her at ease about you and the situation and a number of other things. You know how to put a girl at ease? Fucking invite her onto a podcast.
Starting point is 02:31:46 After one text. If she's an aspiring Instagram hoe, then she'll be right over here. She'll be like, oh, I've only got 1,500 followers. How many do you have? Well, combined, we've got about 150,000. Granted,
Starting point is 02:32:01 95,000 of them are Kyle's. You have an Instagram, Kyle? Yeah, I got about 90,000. I haven't set up an Instagram. I don't understand the case for it. Now, I understand you have a social media net and the Instagram might promote something that does monetize. But it almost is...
Starting point is 02:32:21 I don't know. There's no money in Instagram for most people, right? Yeah. You've got to be very responsive to making money on Instagram. There's a very famous... Just as an example, there's a channel that just dresses
Starting point is 02:32:39 their own dog with menswear. And it's become so famous that people send them clothes and pay them so that the dog wears i don't know the collared shirt the tie the pants and they're actually making a decent amount of money they both be pets that i have my dog has 25 000 followers on instagram and that was part of my strategy when i cancelled um when i when i stopped doing it just because it was a pain in the ass but you you actually get paid even at $25,000, which isn't a lot.
Starting point is 02:33:07 It's very little. Who pays you? Interesting. Random people. Just brands. I only got one offer because $25,000 is very small. But we got sent sponges to clean your dog and whatnot. But when I was actually looking into it, there's quite a lot of people that just live off their dogs.
Starting point is 02:33:26 Even people that don't do, like there's people that are rich and just show their cars and then they get sent Hublutz watches and all this shit. Yeah, Bilzerian does very well offensively. See, now Bilzerian, but he's like special, right? He's got millions, right?
Starting point is 02:33:40 Here's a guy I've got in my head. There's a guy named Tucker Gott. He's the most popular paramotor guy. But ignore that he does paramotors. He has about 12,000 people that follow on an Instagram. And his pictures are pretty neat. They're often like from the sky or like upside down or like he's doing something wild. And he promotes his Instagram in his YouTube videos where he's really popular.
Starting point is 02:34:02 He has like half a million subscribers just watching Paramotor stuff. And I wonder, what's the business case for the Instagram for him? He's 50 times bigger on YouTube. Is it that we hope Instagram gets to be a million and then it grows into something? I just wonder, where is the case for that? Other than just expanding your social net
Starting point is 02:34:23 and having them all feed each other. If that makes any sense i guess there's things that you can do on instagram it's such a you know it's a different format you can you can it's it's it's a burst of information hitting you real quick in the gif or an image whereas youtube you know you're hitting a different kind of uh group in a different kind of way with long format videos. It would depend. He's so niche, you know. We've talked about this before. If he were a, you know, I'm sure he's doing fine.
Starting point is 02:34:52 You know, I don't mean to denigrate what he does in any way. But, like, if he were a half million subscriber skateboarding channel, oh, my fucking God, he'd be a millionaire. Maybe he is a millionaire. But he'd be three times over a millionaire more than he is now or whatever you know it would be huge because then you can be like ah this week I got a board from ruffians and I'm using
Starting point is 02:35:14 my skedaddle wheels on this thing and check out this new under board lighting kit that I picked up from Roush you know it'd be like so many products you can stick on there and companies would be sending him boards like mad because I've seen people decorate their walls with boards.
Starting point is 02:35:29 And he'd be like, oh yeah, it's got this board from Jimmy John's. This is the new Jimmy John's board. Get those sandwiches to you fast and just have a big sandwich, a big hoagie on it. I don't know if it's still there. People used to dress like a skater. There's a fashion that goes with it. Vans were for skaters.
Starting point is 02:35:45 Oh, yeah. There'd be a whole thing. There is no one in high school. Like there are no paramotor posers. I want people to think that I – The bad boy. So, yeah, I agree with you. If he had his equivalent popularity in something where there were a lot of like –
Starting point is 02:36:03 he's a trendsetter, but he just – Name a thing. Yeah. There's not a ton of people following that trend. But if you want to sell ropes for a paramotor or any other accessory, he's your guy. If he were a rock climber even. Paramoting is just so niche.
Starting point is 02:36:18 Like any of the sports that you would see played in a school environment. He might be better off as a fencer you know he's like single-handedly growing the sport now i know you guys aren't exposed to it like i am but like they're every school in america has a waiting list right now that wasn't true they used to run half full classes last year since tucker exploded and they all call and say i saw tucker's video i want to learn to fly like he's with their schools that teaches yeah that's how you start awesome like oh and there is shooting
Starting point is 02:36:48 100% would have done that that's amazing yeah that sounds excessively dangerous for a school though no no no no no no shooting school like what is it soccer yeah no no boys and girls gather around now we're gonna hook a 90 pound fan and motor to your back good luck yeah two choices you climb the rope or you power motor but like yeah new students and stuff almost all of them are inspired by tucker and yeah that's cool yeah have you tried getting free stuff me i have a borrowed wing that's as far as i've gotten wings are expensive they're like four grand and uh yeah so so i've had i mean i'm free to have mine for as long as i want it and maybe come january i'll trade it in for a different one so i don't own it it's not like they just give me wings but i have like a long-term
Starting point is 02:37:42 rental free rental type situation yeah because like it's not like you're gonna turn around and sell the wing anyway so it's it's it's in a way it's better than them just giving you a wing and saying go with this if you can kind of go back to and be like hey my skills have advanced maybe now i can do this acrobatic wing yeah it actually so that's probably what'll go down but to be honest with you I like my wing so much You wouldn't choose an acrobatic wing To do a 300 mile weekend Because it's dangerous
Starting point is 02:38:10 They're twitchy So I like my wing All sponsorship aside I want to keep this wing Or maybe the lightweight version of it Maybe work something Hey Jimmy John's wings They want to hook me up
Starting point is 02:38:27 i'm thinking that i'm not going to be able to be able to fly the the sure kite anymore uh maybe maybe if you just let me hang on to this one and got me that acrobatic wing because they just only want to give me one wing and i i don't know aviator pG is who I'm working with, actually. Everybody knows them around here. And I have a certain loyalty to him now. Yep. He definitely hooked you up with a much better rig than you had began with. Well, I bought that.
Starting point is 02:38:57 I know you. I didn't mean to say that he hooked you up with it, but you got it from him or whatever. I did. I feel like that first thing you is sorry you were having like uh maintenance issues i know we don't dropping me out of the sky stop doing that i'm a brand new pilot but you know you kept falling out of the sky yeah and i know like when the motor goes out honda well it's great but sometimes it catches fire and stops moving
Starting point is 02:39:23 when when your paramotor stops running you just have a paraglider but i'm a new pilot for Honda. Well, it's great, but sometimes it catches fire and stops moving. When your paramotor stops running, you just have a paraglider. But I'm a new pilot and I'm not good at hitting my spot. I was always very nervous to start with. I didn't like it. So eventually it just became
Starting point is 02:39:39 unforgivable. What it was was also... I bet Jackie didn't like it either. She was like, you keep falling out of the sky and it was ruining my weekend so at the time i only flew when i had like mentors uh available well we'll wrap this up quick and uh so i'd be like looking forward to it like five days from now i'd get one flight in the morning and then it wouldn't start because the pulse was broken and uh it was like fuck another weekend like it could be three weeks before. It just happens to be good weather and Saturday. So it was ruining my paramotoring.
Starting point is 02:40:09 I had to get rid of it. There are two of them, Mr. Chiz. So support for today's show comes from War Dragons, a mobile real-time strategy game where players directly control dragons to attack enemy bases. With over 150 different dragons to collect, each one possessing different attack styles, abilities, and classes, players can work together to create
Starting point is 02:40:30 a powerful army and dominate the battlefield. Plus, you can join or create guilds to launch co-op attacks and co-op defense. Best of all, there's a new endgame feature called Atlas that just launched. Atlas is a new fully 3D
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Starting point is 02:41:01 Just go to wardragons.com slash painkiller, link below, via your phone or tablet device to download the game. That's wardragons.com slash painkiller, link below, via your phone or tablet device to download the game. That's wardragons.com slash painkiller on your phone or tablet. It must be from your phone or tablet, not on your desktop computer. So check out
Starting point is 02:41:17 War Dragons today. War Dragons. This dragon approves the message. Check them out. We have a dragon right here on the show. I heard RTS, which means I'm going to look into that. I love RTSs. And I like dragons.
Starting point is 02:41:33 Yeah, very cool. I like it. So it's a win-win. Definitely check that out. I texted her back. And so we'll see if this goes anywhere. She said, hey. So I said, hey.
Starting point is 02:41:48 What's going on? And that's it. Wait, when you say going anywhere, are you on board with her coming on? Well, no. See, I don't want her on the show. I feel like that's a lot to ask unless that's something that somehow... Not interested. I would be surprised if she wanted that.
Starting point is 02:42:04 But just what we have is what i was hoping for i want to see the master in action i want like i want to i want to see where this goes yeah i mean where where it's gonna go hopefully is i will have a hard out at 10 20 shower real quick and hopefully she'll be able to come over late but it is a thursday night yeah and i'm already i'm already getting presumptuous that that's even what she's looking for i mean lots of girls text a to guys that they meet on tinder the day before just wanting to chat clearly i'm joking no they don't no wait wait a means like oh just throw odds on there what are the chances that this woman knows what your cum smells like at some point this week?
Starting point is 02:42:47 Oh, my God. It's PKA. I mean, it really depends on the response to this text. Okay, okay. We should have a meter that goes throughout the conversation. If this were not a PKA night, i would already have been pursuing this because i would have texted back probably 15 minutes after she sent it so as not to look thirsty because i don't want to send it one minute afterward yeah just like like and so i waited like half an hour
Starting point is 02:43:14 here so would you say your odds are 50 50 now uh i mean they're clearly good because i she gave me her number and i texted her yesterday just hey tay Taylor from Tinder, and then that was it. And then she reached out tonight. Oh, so this is not your first contact. I didn't know that. Well, first contact, you want to get them, as Kyle knows, get them from Tinder to phone as quickly as possible because it seems less weird,
Starting point is 02:43:38 and it also makes sure that they're not on an app where, as a woman, you're getting matches every 15 seconds. And so you don't want them having that app open while they're talking to you. Yep. Because they're not on an app where as a woman you're getting matches every 15 seconds and so you don't want them having that app open while they're talking to you yep because they're they're shopping they could be upgrading you don't want them to upgrade you want them to settle this guy yeah you want them to they go this is the best you're fucking getting lady you ever been to the cereal aisle and you got captain crunch and the fruit loops and the wheat a bits and you're oh i don't know but no no you want to. You want to get them over into the fucking spaghetti sauce aisle.
Starting point is 02:44:07 Have them put the Captain Crunch in the cart and leave the aisle. Read in the back. Look at that pleasant little parrot there. All the rainbows and such. I do love Fruit Loops. So you've already moved her from Tinder to text. This is new information for me. I don't know if you said it already.
Starting point is 02:44:24 Yeah, that's definitely what you want to do. I don't know if you said it already. Maybe. Yeah. That's definitely what you want to do. Well, I know that you wanted to do it and I didn't realize that was accomplished. Yeah. See, and it usually takes no time at all. You just do whatever kind of opening line you want. Like you can do the Harley stock line of,
Starting point is 02:44:38 hey, want to get a drink and see if we hate each other? But you can also just look at their profile and if there's information there, just play off of something they're saying. And then, I mean, it's just having a conversation and leading it quickly to you know you make them laugh or something or if they go you ask them if you want to get a drink sometime and they go haha maybe and then just be like hey what's your cell so here let
Starting point is 02:44:58 me let me ask this can you share and i know you can the the tinder part of the conversation that got her to text uh i talked to a number of girls on tinder so i don't remember if this is an appropriate one don't don't say that on the show i don't talk to anyone i'm not gonna read it no that's it that would be no no no i i mean you can you could you could read what you said to her on the show but just like ah you maybe don't say that oh i talked to thousands of girls at a time you know if they don't under women aren't stupid they know that yeah as a man you get rejected a lot and so most of the people you talk to nothing pans out and you just end up getting rejected or just ghosted or whatever and it's that's just the way it goes just hit the nail on the head over there on the text.
Starting point is 02:45:46 That's a mistake I've made before. Chiz, you're correct. You're absolutely correct. You just shoot yourself in the foot. In the dick, rather. No one knows what you're saying. Good! That's the point! Well, then I won't say it, but I'm tempted to. Viewers, I'm on your side.
Starting point is 02:46:03 I wanted them to say what you said. Clearly, they don't want you to know. Clearly. I wish I could tell you. Clearly. Yeah, it's fun. But just like anything, doing well on an app like this
Starting point is 02:46:19 just means that you get rejected a fuck ton. That's really just the modern version of the old game. yeah yeah that's how it's always been i think i mean just like that scene that i love from oh brother where art thou where uh pappy o daniel you know the political candidates walking into the red the the radio station and uh george clooney and his band of ruffians are walking out and uh he's the the the politician's son is like ain't you gonna press the flesh pappy which is pressed in the flesh is when you go over and you know shake hands with these prospective voters and try to convince them to vote for he's like you ain't a son bitch we ain't one at a time in it here we mass communicating that's what tinder is we're not
Starting point is 02:47:01 one at a time in it here we're mass mass communicating. Exactly. Kyle's exactly right. Like, you can't get... Oh, I love the clip. Oh, what is this? Oh, he found it. Oh, this is that we just described. It's 30 seconds. Do you want to watch it? Yeah, I do.
Starting point is 02:47:16 Yes. One moment. Alright. 3, 2, 1, play. In that building? It's the radio station. Ah, well, that makes more sense. Yeah, yeah. I get it now.
Starting point is 02:48:02 I'm like, there can't be many people in there. That thing's a shed. Do you have a single brother for art now? There can't be many people in there. That thing's a shed. Do you ever see No Brother Where Art Thou? You haven't seen that? It's a Coen Brothers movie. It's excellent. John Goodman is in it. He plays the Cyclops.
Starting point is 02:48:19 It's based on Homer's The Odyssey. It's a retelling set in post-reconstruction Mississippi, I think. George Clooney breaks out of jail to get back to his wife, who's got a suitor,
Starting point is 02:48:37 just like Odysseus returns from his long voyage of fighting the Battle of Troy to get back to his wife, and these many trials and tribulations and it's a very, very good movie. Yep, definitely check it out. So, rock on. We are
Starting point is 02:48:53 10 minutes away from... 11 minutes away from the three hour mark. You're not going to let the electorate down, are you? What we could do is just... We're going to be huffing and, are you? What we could do is just take the mean and just do 315. So you get a solid 45 minutes of
Starting point is 02:49:11 suffering. It's not a full hour, so that's not too bad. He'll have the same amount of suffering regardless of when he eats it on the show, though, right? No, but he'll be able to It's less time that he'll be sitting here, more time he could be getting up up guzzling water milk or whatever you do. Hmm But I'm gonna need milk. This is this is not a joke
Starting point is 02:49:34 What's the consistency of the pepper I've never liked I just want like you cut it open Is it so dry that there's no like moisture? It's super dry. It's super dry And it smells like something humanity has evolved to fear like it just it's it smells like something you should get away from because i'm thinking of ways to like weaponize it like if you were to take that whole bag throw them in like um like like a spray like an aerosol spray yeah like if you blended them down until they were a powder and then you poof that powder in someone's face you know like pepper spray yeah like why don't you eat one when you go on your trip that's a terrible idea and you can shit that volcano shit ah yes projectile yeah there'll be some woody brand napalm
Starting point is 02:50:18 now there's another youtube video right there you fucking eat the pepper while in the air but the water is down below. But you don't know where. It's unavailable. You wouldn't be able to see. It's crash land. These are terrible ideas. I will never eat one of those fucking... I don't handle... I love spicy food, but my level of spicy
Starting point is 02:50:40 I think is pretty medium. If you go to a hot wing place, the ones that are one step above medium or one step below hot, just plain hot, that's about as hot as I like to get. I'll never forget when we were in Chicago. Remember Buffalo Wild Wings?
Starting point is 02:50:55 It ruined my fucking night. It ruined the fucking night. There was a big group of us at the table, maybe 13, 15 of us, and we did this thing where we were like, yeah, just bring us 150 hot wings and you know boneless and boned and just just one of everything and and so we started this sort of wagon train of trays of wings that was going around the the table uh counter or clockwise and i wasn't paying attention at all i was just with a fork i was
Starting point is 02:51:22 like two of each two of each two of each and the first one i bit into was like one of the hottest fucking things they had and i was i was just ruined but like i was so hungry when i sat down at the table but it was so hot that it like took my appetite away that ruined it i remember that dinner like seeing you eat the really hot one the i think it was like mango habanero or maybe wild or maybe blazing i don't know one of the top three and like at first i was like ah that's funny he'll be fine in a minute and able to converse and enjoy dinner with the rest of us and then like like three minutes after you ate it like i look over and i just see a stressed out kyle with a bunch of wings on his plate and i'm like oh, one less person participating tonight, I guess. It just ruined you.
Starting point is 02:52:06 Ruined me. It felt bad. Like my stomach felt bad. It was like my stomach was going into some emergency preventative mode where it was trying to contain the evil or something, and it shrunk up. When I sat down, I had a huge appetite. I was talking about eating like 25 wings wings or 50 which one do I get and then everybody's like now with kids I know everyone's going to order a bunch
Starting point is 02:52:33 you will just pass them around and I was kind of bummed out by that because what I wanted to do is have like a contest where we all competed against each other and like well not everyone wants to spend that he thought dollars on wings Kyle it's like make me feel like a cunt it's like well not everyone wants to spend 35 on wings kyle and it's like make me feel like a cunt it's like i want to have a goddamn wing eating contest shit on me why don't you and and so and then because of her like silly idea which was the best idea there could be to feed 15 people hot wings you know i ended up eating a poison wing or two and the way i remember it like i was so hungry that i was like like i munched like two of them down, like chewed them up and like swallowed them.
Starting point is 02:53:08 And only after they were down did I realize the shit I had. The mistake you made. Yeah, the mistake. I remember being in the toilet, maybe like 20 minutes after finishing the video. And my wife walking in is like, are you okay? And I just looked at her sweating. It's like I've done a horrible mistake it actually hurts like it's it's it's not a joke uh when when you're passing it through it's uh you can say shitting here okay fine now we're
Starting point is 02:53:38 demonetized we talked about eating babies three minutes in and this man doesn't want to say shit come on he asked me what the likelihood was of a girl knowing what my cum smelled like. That was one of the better PK lines. It's a high bar of inappropriate shit on PK. When you said that, I'm like, this is fucking up there. I'm sorry, Rockon. I stand by that. I like my phrasing. Sorry, it's a physical pain as you're
Starting point is 02:54:07 passing it. It fucking singes the whole area. Does it smell like burnt hair in the bathroom? Just like chicken. Does your wife have any understanding? Does your wife have an understanding for you with that? Where is she like, you did this.
Starting point is 02:54:26 Like, you shouldn't have eaten the pepper. Of course, she's like, you shouldn't do this. It's all about size, right? Like, if I was a big YouTuber making money and size, like, fine, I guess we'll get a baby crib with that video, right? It's like, in my case, it's like, you're just a fucking idiot. Yes. Was that worth 75 cents? There's nothing to gain.
Starting point is 02:54:50 Risk return is just completely lopsided. So I sent you a link here. It's from Reddit. It's how to not have burning poops after you eat spicy food. I think there's a couple of ideas in here that might assist you.
Starting point is 02:55:05 I think when they're talking about spicy, they're not talking about eating one of the hot peppers. I mean, if you came prepared with fricillium husk, fricillium husk fiber, just down some of that with it. Let me just take it out of my pouch. It says capsaicin is broken down by high-fat foods and dairy. It says capsaicin is broken down by high-fat foods and dairy. So before I'd eat a pepper, I kid you not, I would have a few spoonfuls of sour cream and two or three glasses of 2% milk as soon as the pepper reaches your stomach. I want it dunked in something that will immediately start breaking down as much of the capsaicin as possible before it reaches the exit. Be careful, though.
Starting point is 02:55:45 Some people say a lot of dairy will make your stomach problems worse. I don't know if that's true. This guy has a workaround where he says you should take the sour cream anally. That's a YouTube video. How do I get it in with a teaspoon? We actually went shopping today and I wanted to buy omeprazole, which is a medicine which essentially covers your stomach in some protective layer.
Starting point is 02:56:09 So it doesn't hurt as much. And I was like, no, we have that at home, right? And we get it home and sure enough, I didn't have that. So I think what I'm going to do is just rely on good old milk. Maybe bite in butter. Bit of butter. Butter? You're just going to eat butter? I'll eat
Starting point is 02:56:26 anything to get that pain out yeah I'll eat butter I've not a huge amount just enough you know to get a good tasteful amount of butter an appropriate amount of butter to eat along I didn't understand this headline until I read a bit
Starting point is 02:56:42 but Chiz, I didn't understand this headline until I read a bit, but... The suspect told police, quote, Give me a lawyer, dog. The court says he was not asking for a lawyer. I think the court's point is that they're saying he was asking for a dog that practices law, and that doesn't count as asking for a lawyer kyle but is there a rule that says that a dog can't be your attorney not in louisiana apparently known as the air bud clause
Starting point is 02:57:14 even as a kid watching movies they made like like made after the first one took off and was a big success they just kept finding more sports for that fucking golden retriever to play it was absurd they had him ice skating and shit playing baseball how you gotta swing the bat I'm looking right now at all of these Air Bud movies
Starting point is 02:57:39 Air Bud Spikes Back I only remember the first one. Air Bud, Golden Retriever. Air Buddies. Wouldn't he be a better running back? Space Buddies. They go to space.
Starting point is 02:57:56 Super Buddies. They're superheroes. Oh, wow. Spooky Buddies. I'm a little nervous. I swear I have butterflies about him eating this pepper. Yeah, I would never eat that shit. Like, that's absurd.
Starting point is 02:58:08 Like, I remember Wings, well, I think Wings ate one. Yeah, he ate a ghost pepper, right? It seemed like he did, but, you know, there was that time where it seemed like he was drinking a lot of alcohol. That's a good point. There's a real chance. Maybe it was a prune with, like, a stem on the end. Yeah, you never know. A prune would like beef jerky or yeah yeah you never know
Starting point is 02:58:26 a prune would kind of look like a dried pepper i guess if you if you dehydrated it or something who knows i i think he ate it because he is notorious for eating spicy things i've seen yeah yeah um because i remember um he likes hot wings i think he likes the zaxby's hot wings so do i i'd like hot wings they just make me fat it's been so annoying not being able to go back to zaxby's like i don't i'm not officially banned but i think after that whole incident like i i shouldn't go you know all right but but i miss it like i haven't had i haven't hot wings or fried or fried chicken and not from there anyway since since the incident i so the trump campaign's little hot water you guys been following that at all no i was following the the hillary campaign
Starting point is 02:59:16 hot water as you might imagine that i saw hockey and all these hollywood pervs because it seems like they just pop up you know a new one so much in the news so many Jeremy Piven getting called out I saw that um he said I read his statement he said uh these are totally lies not true at all it takes you know bravery to come forward but this is jeopardizing the word of actual victims and so it was interesting for because up until now they've pretty much all been like oh yeah sorry sorry you're right i did i did spank you in 1977 even uh even fucking hw bush was like that's my sense of humor what what's the line he says he said you know i want to know who my favorite comedian is david coppa feel or my favorite magician sorry not comedian david
Starting point is 03:00:04 coppa and then he grabs the woman's ass something that like because he's so old and he's in a chair like he can't lift his arms enough to like get to people's waists and so when he takes pictures they are uncomfortable because he has to like kind of put it near the ass yeah whatnot like and when you're that old it's like dude like like you're senile like you're going senile at the very least like you don't fully know what's going on your body's like not like if i could totally see an old man like making a joke like that not thinking it's inappropriate just trying to make it seem like all right this will make people more comfortable with the fact that i'm clearly old and knocking on death's door
Starting point is 03:00:39 you know how many iraqis i killedk, honk. Yeah. More than two. Yeah. Thousands. Thousands. Yeah. But anyway, that's already old news because of how many others have come out. Yeah. So Brett Ratner, he's in hot water.
Starting point is 03:00:58 I never know any of these people. I don't know who Brett Ratner is either. Yeah, and then whoever Kevin Spacey wanted to lay on, I don't know yeah and then whoever kevin spacey wanted to lay on like i didn't know that guy i didn't know brett ratner and i don't know who the guy is brett ratner supposedly did something to like they're not big enough names yeah it was i think it was it was women that brett ratner was after it doesn't matter um brett ratner's a pretty big name um the uh the thing about jeremy piven though like the description of the encounter was like, the woman's like in his trailer,
Starting point is 03:01:28 his movie trailer, and honestly it sounded like a man hitting on a woman who had already put signs out there that she was interested. That's what it sounded like to me. And you know, in a situation, you don't want to accuse victims of, you know, like...
Starting point is 03:01:42 I'd like to see that defense used. Like, yes, she was in my trailer that's what he said i thought it was gonna work out i made my move and i guess i misread the sign because you know it became clear it wasn't going to be my day we split up and that was that yeah that's allowed to happen was he i think she said that like he stood beside her facing a mirror and like grabbed her ass and said what a beautiful couple we make and uh i think that was one of the complaints but i won't say he's got a lot of game but that still sounds like he's hitting on her yeah to me it does i i mean i i could do the same thing i think if she's come into my fucking movie
Starting point is 03:02:26 trailer right i mean like like i i think there's some implications there's all i'm saying what you came into my bedroom we make is like a i think we'd be good together you know like it that is not pre-rape yeah yeah it's it's uh i i also saw and now this is a guy who's small time like i had never i think it's dolly parton's publicist or something like that like like he's a big name in country music publicists um i guess uh a country music singer came out and said this guy's been like sexually harassing him going after him his name's kurt webster but i've never heard that fucking name before my life life, and I actually listen to some country music occasionally.
Starting point is 03:03:09 But that was interesting. Outed him as not only some sort of sexual harasser, but also as gay, I suppose, at the same time, which probably isn't that big in that scene. But yeah, everybody's getting lots of allegations flying around,
Starting point is 03:03:23 people getting called out. I think we made some predictions on this week's live PKN that we did very successfully, I think. I thought it went very well. If you're just thirsting for more of us after this show, you can go check out this week's PKN. It's out there for everyone with the live show broadcast on YouTube. Or if you want to always get PKN, you can become a patron. Link down below. It's PKN. It's out there for everyone with the live show broadcast on YouTube. Or if you want to always get PKN, you can become a patron. Link down below. It's rather affordable,
Starting point is 03:03:50 you'll find. But we were discussing which celeb we think will be next to turn out to be a sexual harasser slash assaulter slash rapist. There are varying levels of severity, but it seems like that's the this is the
Starting point is 03:04:06 year of the of the of sexual harassment uh and and women and men both coming forward with allegations uh which mostly seem to be founded allegations because so many of the men who are accused are like coming up with their horseshit excuses like ah you know i'm from a different time where hey you just you just grab the pussy or whatever their excuse is. Another thing that makes it difficult to... Go ahead. I was just saying, John Travolta,
Starting point is 03:04:34 weren't there also allegations a long time ago? See, now that was my... He's in my fantasy sexual harassment squad. He was my number one pick. Eddie Murphy was my number two pick. I think I get double points if they harass each other.
Starting point is 03:04:51 That's how that works. No, that's not how it works. It actually negates. You'd think it was that way, but that's not the way it works. Murphy's working in the movies this year. They're producing Triplets, which is the sequel to Twins. The Arnold Schwarzenegger, Danny DeVito sequel. Is that going to happen?
Starting point is 03:05:05 It's back on board. It is happening. It was rumored. Schwarzenegger, in his Stern interview, threw it out there. Then the kibosh was put down on it. And now I just read last week, it's back on again. Eddie Murphy. So it's DeVito and Schwarzenegger were twins.
Starting point is 03:05:23 One of them got all the positive qualities. One of them got all the negative through some genetic manipulation. But in the sequel, they discover at their father's funeral that, oh wait, there was a third. It was triplets, and Eddie Murphy is the third brother. He got the black gene, I guess, or something like that. I don't know how they're going to explain this away with pseudoscience, but it sounds fucking hilarious. I have a story to tell.
Starting point is 03:05:49 It does sound funny. I'll check that out. I almost didn't bring it up, but I want to. All right. So this is a little sensitive because it's real life. It's current, and it involves my neighbors. But my neighbors have a German shepherd, and it's aggressive. That much just true.
Starting point is 03:06:09 Some of the issues that it causes for is like when we take our trash out down to the curb, German Shepherd comes running down the street up right at like two feet from you and aggressively barks. And I try to like alpha it, you know, like bad sit down, whatever. It's not working.
Starting point is 03:06:20 I've tried just looking the other way, but I feel very much like he's going to jump me. I've tried just looking the other way, but I feel very much like he's going to jump me. And it would be easy to underestimate just how aggressive he appears. I know he hasn't bit me yet, but the hair's up on his back. He's really at you. It's a full-fledged lunging. Yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 03:06:40 And if I walk away, he's coming at me. That's actually a good idea. But there's more. So he's done this to me multiple times as I get the trash. And it's not like he's coming at me. That's actually a good idea. But there's more. He's done this to me multiple times as I get the trash. It's not like he's out there. It's like you get the trash and he comes out. Not out of nowhere. He comes from a thousand feet down the street
Starting point is 03:06:54 just at me. Last time I got the trash I literally ran away on the golf cart. He starts chasing me on the golf cart. You got a pepper spray on that dog. I like that, but let me keep going. So anyway, there's been other episodes where like we just open our kitchen door, right? And you have to understand we're like 1500 feet from them, right?
Starting point is 03:07:14 This dog has come all the way across our property into our backyard at our kitchen door to where my wife feels like she can't leave our house. And that's when she lets the Great Danes out and whatever. Is he scared of them? Well, at first he ran and then they started making friends. Shit! Damn it!
Starting point is 03:07:37 Which isn't the worst result if it resulted in him being friendly with us, but that hasn't happened. There's been another time where she felt trapped in her car because the dog was like waiting for her as the she pulled in and now she's like stuck in her car until this dog leaves after i ran from him on the golf cart he stayed there like guarding our yard i mean it's not his territory it's mine but he just stayed there and wouldn't let us go so i I talked to the neighbors and, uh, you know, I just knocked
Starting point is 03:08:05 on the front door and I was like, I got to talk to you about your dog. And, uh, I tried to be super cool about it. And I explained like, look, I've had an aggressive dog before. Like I get this, you know, I, I understand like sometimes dogs just, they're not easily chilled, you know, but I was like, we kept our dog on a leash and we gave our dog a muzzle because we knew it was dangerous. You let your dog come at us. This is impacting us and our kitchen door. And she just kept saying, it's okay. No, okay, okay.
Starting point is 03:08:35 I get it. And I was like, I get it more than she said, oh, we're going to have the dog trained. I was like, we tried that too. I'm still nervous. Like you walk your dog and you don't keep your dog on a leash. So he zips across our front yard. And you have to understand, it's like 200 yards into the front yard. It's not like he's on the corner or something.
Starting point is 03:08:52 And I'm like, that's one thing when it was your other dog. They had a really sweet chocolate lab. But with this one, like, you know, we don't like him running across, like, our property. Yeah. And I was. I have suggestions. I said, next time I take the trash out i'm gonna have to bring a gun like i've never killed anything like except for a squirrel but what am i i didn't
Starting point is 03:09:11 even think of pepper spray but i'm like this is a dog that's giving me every warning you know if you so much as if i see you i'm coming for you that's what this dog does. And I get it. We've had an aggressive dog, but we thought this aggressive dog was like a huge responsibility, something we needed to protect everyone. Like, Kyle, you came over. Did you ever see that dog without a muzzle? No, you took care of me.
Starting point is 03:09:36 You have to, you know? Like Jackie would walk at night and stuff and put his leash and muzzle and like that was the deal. Like you couldn't have that they don't leash their dog they don't they seem to keep them outside you know because whenever he spots me all terribly without your protection that's the situation that i i think i'm gonna be like i really think there's a so first thing i would do um i would call the police and i would you need to start the paperwork
Starting point is 03:10:02 now you know it's just like a domestic abuse scenario. Like the best way to actually get results and to protect yourself in a future potential legal issue is to have like a paper trail. Like, like, so I would start that as soon as possible. I would report this aggressive dog and, uh,
Starting point is 03:10:18 like, like let, and get that on paper and in the system immediately. Not that neighborly though. I kind of liked that. I talked to them. Well, you're about to shoot your dog with pepper spray. Like, that's going to happen this week. So, like,
Starting point is 03:10:30 they're going to be mad about that, because he's going to return home all orange and whipped. Last time somebody pepper sprayed one of my dad's dogs, like, threatened to whip their ass and called the Georgia Power Company and told them never to send that son of a bitch back.
Starting point is 03:10:46 Granted, this guy pepper sprayed a Jack Russell Terrier. Yeah. This is German Shepherd. Yeah. This was a 12-pound dog that was yipping at a grown fucking man and he pepper sprayed it. So, like, we were warranted an hour ass-whooping threat.
Starting point is 03:11:02 I should mention, I think I can take this dog. But it shouldn't. I will get very hurt in this yeah Yeah, yeah kill you. I want to be a model lopsided victory if there's going to be a battle Not want a Pyrrhic victory if you Feels like a perfect opportunity to review bear traps just place them and I like different brands No what what I really want is for them just to leash the dog. That would be the ideal scenario. I don't think they're going to do that.
Starting point is 03:11:29 And it'll be fun to pepper spray the dog, I promise you. Yeah, if it were me, I would get the bear spray because it comes in a big container. It has a big wide spread. It's got a nice spread. And it's in range. You can fog the dog down if you need to because with the squirty ones that like you would deal with a man who's like in your face and get him that way like you
Starting point is 03:11:50 might miss or you might not you might hit a part of the dog that's not sensitive to it uh but but you fucking hit him once with that he'll leave you the fuck alone because it's it's gonna fuck his day i think i'm gonna buy that like right now we can keep it in the cup holder on the golf cart because that's when there's no escape like if you open the back door and you see the thing running from 500 feet away, then there's time. You know, you can deal with it. But when you're like already a thousand feet away, I felt like I had nowhere to go. And when I tried to alpha the dog, he was just more motivated. Like that didn't work out at all.
Starting point is 03:12:22 Have you filmed it? Is that proof? No, but they see it. They've seen it. And they've called their dog back. No, but if they try and say something. No. And this last time, I think they saw it.
Starting point is 03:12:36 I'm falsely accusing them maybe. But it seemed like as soon as the incident ended, she opened the door and let the dog back in. And I'm like, was she just, cause last time I, I, I talked to them from afar. It wasn't like I yelled at them or anything, but I was like,
Starting point is 03:12:52 like, this isn't okay. Like, like your dog is, is aggressive towards us. Like you need to leash it. And then the next time it happened, they weren't there until I left.
Starting point is 03:13:04 And then instantly they opened the door and let the dog in. I'm like, in my head, they witnessed it all go down, but they didn't want to talk to me about it. Yeah. Which is why I was there. You could also tase the dog, which would be pretty fun. That sounds risky. I don't know.
Starting point is 03:13:16 That'd be harder. Nah, it'd be harder to pull off. And you need aim and stuff. You get a couple tases, you start wielding those bitches. And the cool thing about the taser, there's one called the jogger, and it's pink. And you shoot and then just drop the thing and run. But you could shoot and then start whooping the dog's ass with a stick as the dog is, like, immobilized, like, twitching on the ground. You, like, get on him and alpha him, like, start smacking him around while he can't do anything a little bit maybe piss on him that send the message okay all right
Starting point is 03:13:49 so this is taking a turn well i mean hey this is dog this is dog world i'm glad you came up with the bear spray day because i was literally i went straight to shotgun and i all you have to see how this goes down the dog's running at you in a full gallop, right? All the way until he's like 18 inches from me. And then he's just sort of lunging, snapping, everything but biting. And it's like, so when do you shoot, right? Because we already know the dog might just be-
Starting point is 03:14:19 Oh, my dad would have already shot. Yeah, if it's sprinting at you, gnashing its teeth, I think you're justified in blowing its pretty little head up. I think I'd have already shot yeah if it's sprinting at you gnashing its teeth i think you're justified and i'm telling you man like i think i'd have already shot too like i'm not gonna deal with that like not from some strange dog on my property who's like charging at me and like fur up like doing that bark where every bark is like a lunge forward and snap kind of thing like yeah like my dog does that to me but like i can't do anything about it right yeah that motherfucker bit me you know a couple months ago my the bruise is just now like that is going away
Starting point is 03:14:50 it was awful and he that was a pretend bite he could have ripped my calf off if he really desired to do so like german shepherds are you know they're working dogs that that dog's meant to bite people and i want to have a good relationship with this neighbor i don't want to always be the guy that killed their dog. I'm sure to the family, this is a loving dog. To our family, Jack was a loving dog. He was snuggly to us. Colin would smack him away when he didn't want him nearby.
Starting point is 03:15:17 Did he pass away? Yeah, he had a heart attack a couple years ago. But this dog, I'm not part of his family and he's and it maybe i'm being territorial and my reptilian brain is going but i really don't like that he comes a thousand feet at me onto my property like you i'm not on his land i'm not even in open land this is my spot why is your dog running loose in my yard? Yeah, no, you're right. You're exactly right. Are you guaranteed to be safe if you spray him?
Starting point is 03:15:49 Yeah. Oh, yeah. 100%? Oh, yeah. Could he be even more pissed the next day? No. 18 inches? Two inches.
Starting point is 03:15:57 He's going to realize that he fucked with a human being who had something he'd never experienced before. This is a little bit of speculation here but i've been pepper sprayed i can tell you it it takes all the fucking fight out of you blinds you and incapacitates you but for an animal with such a powerful sense of smell you gotta think that it hurts him more a little bit right i didn't think of that i would think so maybe i i don't know it's gonna hurt him at least the same amount it hurts me and that's a whole fucking hell of a lot it's the same for bears because bears are people yeah bears are people too and it works on them and i mean the shit's called bear mace i you know it comes in a you know you've got like a pistol grip and the container comes down it was 30 it wasn't a joke
Starting point is 03:16:41 but it's worth it yeah worth it you've got a fog that lasts for a while aren't i gonna get sprayed like it's gonna be a little wind down wind from it like when it's blowing right back in your face then yeah but you know maybe give it a test squeeze outside and see what happens you know when you when you're encountering the dog maybe give a little like test it and be like all right i just thought of the perfect idea. You go on your paramotor and you just start cropping the fields. Yeah. Go around their garden or something. I like this idea because I was honestly,
Starting point is 03:17:12 my only idea was the gun. And I don't want to hurt any dogs. I like dogs. I love dogs. I've got three dogs. And I like neighbors. And I want this all to be okay. But I'm repeatedly being accosted
Starting point is 03:17:24 on my own property. Yeah. Pepper spray that bitch. It'll be great. i'd love it if you recorded it with your cell phone and let us watch too that sounds like a lot to manage yeah go pro go pro up man put the go pro by the by the with the golf cart with the bear spray put that show put that chest harness on it's like paypal oh mount the gopro to the bear mace that way you're one button press away from a real fucking great video. You got 100,000 views on that? No problem. It's been a lock lately
Starting point is 03:17:51 for how often the dog attacks me. Unless the conversation fixed it. Aggressive dog. Aggressive problem dog. Yeah. Yeah, I don't know. I don't want this problem, but I've got it it so here we are rabbit they we hopefully we got the bear mace by monday i think that's trash night awesome i'm looking forward to this this will be good the dog is always outside
Starting point is 03:18:15 yeah fuck that dog yeah i'd be worried for the children uh yes absolutely jackie said that too she says you know like you know if you're just out there with yourself i don't know if you have to bring a shotgun but if it's you and colin like you've got to and there's a certain logic like airsofter paintball would whip his ass too you know like that he won't like that yeah except that they might attack have to keep it charged i don't have any way to put aaron and airsoft, they won't attack. I'm telling you. They're not ready for that. Shoot ropes at it.
Starting point is 03:18:49 Well, it is 318 and well past time. God, I was getting nervous. Oh, boy. So you have milk at the ready? I do have milk. I also have something which I thought would be quite fun uh to actually show you my heartbeat because it goes up cool very smart that's actually something i do on on the channel i play games with the heartbeat so when you get nervous it happens and last time i
Starting point is 03:19:16 did this challenge it shot up i'm actually at so my heart rate my resting heart rate is 55 i'm at 80 right now because i know what's going to happen. Healthy guy. That has to be a just woke, fully resting heartbeat. Yeah, it's fully resting. Yeah, podcast heartbeat. It's probably like 65, 68 anyway.
Starting point is 03:19:38 Sorry, I need to log into the shit. I would have eaten that sour cream. I would have eaten a jar of that shit. I bit into butter that sour cream. I'd have eaten a jar of that shit before. Oh, there's a risk. I bit into butter and ate chocolate. Oh, there you go. I would have taken the sour cream anally. I mean...
Starting point is 03:19:52 Just lube that corridor in advance. That's not just a corridor, is it? It's a fucking gun. Okay, so how the fuck do I show you this? Okay, let how the fuck do I show you this Okay, let's see I sorry I need to sync it up okay doctors buying time Normally takes 45 minutes or so I'm excited for this. I've never eaten anything this spicy for sure. That hot wing that I
Starting point is 03:20:32 accidentally ate is probably the spiciest thing I've ever eaten. And that's not even in the same ballpark as this. That's a product that they serve to whoever orders it. Yeah. Yeah, this product probably comes with release papers, a waiver.
Starting point is 03:20:49 Yeah, yeah. I mean, I bought some once, like, a couple years ago, just, like, dried ghost peppers just to have them. Like, I was curious. Maybe I'll, like, shave part of one into a meal and see how hot it gets. And then I ended up forgetting about it and then found out and was like, what was I thinking? Why would I intentionally ruin
Starting point is 03:21:05 my evening as I'm about to watch someone do? I sprayed pepper spray on Taco Bell burrito once and ate it. Because, you know, I saw in a video that you could do that and it's like... How was it? Really fucking hot. But like not the end of the world or anything.
Starting point is 03:21:22 I mean, it's not as bad as getting sprayed in the fucking face with it. Tell you that. Was it way worse than that wing? No. Really? Yeah. Worse than being sprayed by pepper spray? No, worse than... I sprayed some pepper spray on a burrito.
Starting point is 03:21:37 Really? I guess it's edible. It is meant for spraying your eyes. I didn't use the Saber Red because I think it's got some additives, but I used my mom's pepper spray, which I think was just like cayenne or something as its active ingredient. So let's see. All right, so what are you at?
Starting point is 03:21:54 76. 76, nice. How do I do this, though? I mean, I've got it on the computer. I can show you my screen. You could just maybe every five minutes. Yeah, just intermittently. I mean, I think we're going to get a good visual of your heart rate changing.
Starting point is 03:22:08 Okay. So let me take off the... Eat it very close to the camera. You're taking the stem off? All right. You're not going to eat the stem? You're stemless? The stem's the good part.
Starting point is 03:22:17 Yeah, that's where all the flavor is. That's where all the flavor is. Yeah. All right. Is that a smaller one? I swear it shrunk a little bit since the last time you showed us the pepper. Such a dick. You picked the baby one out.
Starting point is 03:22:32 Are we okay with this? We're fine with that. Yeah, I think we'll get the same effect. Hold it up closer to the camera real quick. Spin it. It's about the size of a coin. Oh, it's nice and thick. Yeah, it's about quarter sized a coin oh it's nice and thick yeah it's about quarter sized how's it smell he smelled it it smells uh menacing i like that it smells
Starting point is 03:22:55 something not even a fucking dragon will need ready yeah i'm ready give it a couple good a good shoe. Is it still 76? Wow, you're solid there. Okay. Munch it up. 3, 2, 1, go. He did. He put the whole thing in his mouth. He is visibly chewing it. His heart rate is already up to 87. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 03:23:19 He stuck his tongue out and showed it to us. Dump it on your tongue like that. I can't see the heart rate. Can you guys make out that number? There it is, 88. I don't think the heat hasn't set in, I don't think. I think it's just the nerves and anticipation. Oh, yes.
Starting point is 03:23:38 He's chewed it into a slurry. Oh, he swallowed it. This is a cum slut video. All right, now go through the hotel lobby with it all over your face. The pulse has dropped down to 81. He's dying. But it does look like he's suffering back there. Right behind the phone, he is blinking.
Starting point is 03:24:00 Hey, Rockon, what is it like right now? What does it feel like? It feels really painful all over my mouth, but especially at the back of my tongue. Sorry, the back of my throat. I think I fucked up swelling it like that really hard. It's not as bad, I'll admit, as last time, but I do remember it got worse it's just a sense of urgency and panic to his description it it feels it feels like when when you burn your skin really really quickly yeah it tasted horrible
Starting point is 03:24:41 really dry but it's not as bad as I thought. So not even a tasty pepper. I would have dipped it in sour cream or something. Get a little moisture. It's good thinking. If you're going to go, go whole hog. 81? 81 still.
Starting point is 03:24:55 I'm okay, I'm okay. You're maintaining. Yeah, I feel like you're trying to convince us that's true, but it's totally not. You're not okay at all. He's getting better. It's not as bad as I remember. You're through the woods. You're not okay at all. He's getting better. It's not as bad as I remember. You're through the woods. You're building up a tolerance,
Starting point is 03:25:09 like Iocane powder. Like flagecane powder. Iocane powder. Oh, Iocane. Get sea bubble! That's Iocane. I think I... I think I sold more to the left of my...
Starting point is 03:25:20 Oh, it's getting worse, okay. I think I sold it more to the left side of my throat. I'm blind. It starts feeling like somebody pricked the back of my... Look, I'm actually red. Yeah, you are. Now, do you think this might be the time for a second pepper? No.
Starting point is 03:25:43 I mean, it seems like your throat's uneven. The one thing I'd mention is that the beats per minute is the average of the past minute so it averages out so if your heartbeat goes up at the beginning it's not going to be as strong 85 it's going to be creeping up for a while
Starting point is 03:26:03 I actually had an idea I don't know how well I'm going to be creeping up for a while, I think. I actually had an idea. I don't know how well I'm going to be able to explain it. You know how Top Gear has this list? Yes. I think you should make your guests eat something super spicy
Starting point is 03:26:20 and count how long they spend without drinking milk. Super spicy and count how long they spend She's not drinking milk or anything what oh I see and then you have a ranking Yeah, hardly good two seconds One minute so far. Oh, it's been more than a minute I'm actually pretty good. It really hurts.
Starting point is 03:26:49 You look healthy. So, the way these work... It's normally a range, okay? The skull already. You can get really lucky. Or you can get... I'm sorry. You're snorting. Is your nose running?
Starting point is 03:27:05 Yeah, yeah. You can get really lucky, or you can get really unlucky. And the first time I did it, it was... I think I'm going to vomit. I think I'm going to vomit. Jesus. Man, I bet that is horrible coming up. That will be a bad vomit.
Starting point is 03:27:20 So I vomited last time, and it came out my nose. It was... Oh. No wonder you couldn't taste or smell anything yeah seems just ruined speaking of getting I'm hoping to get lucky in about 30 minutes but not with being able to live through a pepper I think I do pretty good okay I'm officially dead mm-hmm 82 82 here you put the phone down for a bit put the phone down for a bit and then in like five minutes you can uh we'll take another peek if it's just aggregating like every minute.
Starting point is 03:27:50 It's much better than what I remember. I think I got lucky with this one. Yeah, you look like a beacon of luck. Ah, there comes the milk. So what I found last time is milk actually makes it worse because it soothes you, and makes you believe it's gone and then it comes back and it also makes it probably easier to vomit because in order to get enough down uh you have to drink a fuck ton of milk we did this with a friend of mine like when when i was like i know we were much younger and uh we sprayed him with bear spray and then made him and then he wanted to get sprayed with
Starting point is 03:28:26 bear spray we didn't like sneak it up on him he was like yeah yeah i want to do it i want to do like the jackass style thing like whatever like we're all a bunch of you know teen guys of course we'll fucking pepper spray you and so we pepper sprayed him with the bear spray pretty good and then had a little uh obstacle course for him to do around a tennis court at one of our friends neighborhoods and so he had to get on a little tricycle and ride around right around the entire uh tennis court and then he had to get up and like return a serve and do something else and then uh and then he had to and then we had like the the cleaning station and keep in mind we're at a tennis court there's no running water anywhere nearby.
Starting point is 03:29:07 That was an oversight. And so we had one bottle of water and a bottle of No More Tears shampoo. Because one of our friends was like, no, dude, I'm positive. I saw online, tear-free shampoo is actually good to put in your eyes after you've been pepper sprayed. It rinses it out. And we were all like, whatever. Sure, it's not me, so I don't care. And so he went, he got off of his, he was just, he could barely even see. Just eyes so fucked. And he gets into the area where we got all that stuff, and he grabs this shampoo, and he flips it open, and he goes, he starts dumping this shampoo and he flips it open and he goes he starts dumping this shampoo into
Starting point is 03:29:47 his eyes and then I remember his feverish look at me with like all of it all over his face and then him just going oh it's worse it's worse you've made it worse and then like somebody looked at it my buddy looked at it and he goes dude tyler did this is extra gentle shampoo not tear-free shampoo it's like extra gentle like it doesn't make you cry like it's not the same thing tyler like well it probably wouldn't have worked anyway he's like just give me water just give me water anybody bring water out here and we're like we have a gallon of milk and he's like nobody brought water no we have to run back to tom's house he has a pool though so so we had to run him back there and then like 20 minutes later the rest of us forgot about it we're all on you know enjoying the rest of the day and he was just sitting there on a hammock under their porch dumping gallons of milk into
Starting point is 03:30:39 his eyes for hours when rock on one-on-1 had no milk at all, I asked Jackie to bring me some so I could drink it in front of him like an asshole. But the timing was off. Damn. It was a good effort. I honestly thought it was going to be a bigger impact
Starting point is 03:31:00 on my heart, so it was going to actually show with proof, medical proof kind of, of that actually hurts sorry about that no no you're good I mean I'm glad you're not much pain you seem to be doing better now you want to know a secret sure
Starting point is 03:31:14 this one is 2.5 times stronger than the one I just ate how many peppers do you just have laying around feel I feel robbed. Do the other. No, it's just like... Do the other one.
Starting point is 03:31:32 We demand it. It's just like... Yeah, we still have 30 minutes as Chiz says. A good stripper is not going to give you everything from the beginning, right? You've got to tease it out. That's what I'm doing with the peppers. I like the way you did that.
Starting point is 03:31:48 First you had that one. Now you have the other. Look, my stomach legit hurts. Your stomach? Is it like that? It feels like something trying to get out, which is burning it entirely. Like, really, really strong. Man, this is a challenge I'm not going to participate in ever.
Starting point is 03:32:13 Yeah, you're going to be shitting out bits of your intestine. Like, just sloughing chunks. It's going to look like the placenta. And we've come full circle. I'm sure there's a recipe for it. There's a recipe for it yeah your stomach lining shits yes it's a delicacy to eat a very hot pepper and then enjoy your stomach lining so has that woman texted you back yet are we just at a nope nothing yet that's discouraging right yeah uh at this point it's already getting so late that it might be
Starting point is 03:32:46 another day not yeah probably uh probably another day or not who knows you know most of the times you get into the text phase nothing pans out so you just you just you just forge ahead you know you just pull the neckbeard and say hey i texted you bitch yeah i texted you bitch you you whore like five minutes ago yeah no i wouldn't do that i'm very courteous very kind texter mostly texter kyle i said text so did you use humor to get her over to text or like how did you get her off of Tinder? Threats. Threats of violence. Threats? No, I just, usually you just have a pickup line, or you just joke around about something on their profile, try and be kind of tongue-in-cheek,
Starting point is 03:33:36 and not, like, over-the-top dirty with anything, because you know that they're getting lots of lewd and lascivious stuff all the time. Where I was talking to a girl the other day on there where uh i i asked if you want to get a drink or something and then she was like uh oh why don't you tell me like some of your secrets i was like what what what are you what are you talking about and she's like well i mean like is anything like fucked up about you like do you have like a sister that you want to bang or something i'm like did you say that is that a quote she said uh like something oh no no she asked for like dark secrets and i was just like oh i routinely fill up the water cup with sprite and or something like that and then she was like no i'm being serious like anything fucked up like you wanted to you wanted
Starting point is 03:34:19 to fuck your sister or something and i just was like uh no do you meet a lot of guys like to fuck their sister here and then uh she started telling me about all the worst things that guys have said she's like yeah like i had a couple guys like start off ask start off by asking for for sloppy blow jobs which just gets you blocked and you can't i can't imagine that actually working and so i don't know if she's telling the truth or if she's trying to put something out there like oh wow i'm so desirable that people just can't resist inquiring about sex right away um and then she said that she did meet a guy who admitted to wanting to fuck his sister and that's where that came from and so i was gonna ask how do you go from sloppy
Starting point is 03:34:57 blowjobs which is perfectly acceptable you've taken what he's interested because he's fascinated with incest no no what i was gonna say No, no. What I'm trying to get out is I hope that sometime in the future when she's talking to some other guy, she's going to be like, there was this one dude he put Sprite in the water fountain when he was wearing the water cup. Who knows?
Starting point is 03:35:18 But that one didn't end up panning out either. Or maybe it will. I haven't really paid attention. Have you gone through any dates? It really paid attention but Yeah, it's it becomes any date. It's not really yeah, I go Usually you know one or two a week Hmm kind of disregarding calls advice from earlier He trapped you yeah, yeah Yeah, I realized it after I was I'm under the influence right now of Chili. Yeah, asshole.
Starting point is 03:35:46 God, all of our female listeners are going to put it out on the fucking female PR newswire. The 1%? Okay, here's a question. If there was a hot female, this is a rhetorical question,
Starting point is 03:36:02 if she was a 7 or 8, would you see it as a. If she was a 7 or 8, would you see it as a positive that she's a viewer? That she's a what? A viewer. Oh, yeah. Definitely. That'd definitely be a viewer.
Starting point is 03:36:12 Why would I not want, you know... In case you've ever gone sour, you're never going to be able to let go. Yeah. She's always going to stalk you. Oh, well... You know, sometimes you just got to deal with a little stalking i know the girl who started the sexy kyle subreddit i mean you know you just you gotta you gotta work with what you
Starting point is 03:36:31 have you know there you go if you have an option there like if some smoking hot pka fan was like hey you know let's i i live in the area let's let's meet up and do what we want to do i like it it's anal probing what would be the negative what would be the downside like maybe maybe if they end up being crazy they're gonna end up being crazy yeah yeah if you just leave the area no like yeah no what about you what about you do you have any um tinder What about you, Kyle? Do you have any Tinder experiences right now? Like recent.
Starting point is 03:37:07 Are you currently looking? Yeah, always. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. You know, the hunt never ends. Gotta catch him up. Gotta catch him up. Let me ask this.
Starting point is 03:37:16 Is there anybody on your side? Never ends. We can get on. I mean, it'd be way easier for Kyle than me. He's much more famous. It would be way easier for Kyle than me. He's much more famous. If there was a good chance that it was going to be some sort of
Starting point is 03:37:30 sexual episode, how far would you drive? It depends on the girl. It depends on the girl and the time of day and what else I could be doing. It's 10 and it's raining. That's a surprisingly reasonable answer. It depends on the girl. I've driven to Florida before.
Starting point is 03:37:48 It's been like five years ago maybe, just talking to a girl. I think I met her through PKA to some extent. Something I was doing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And she was in maybe Orlando, something like that. And I was horny. And it was like 9, 10 o'clock at night. And I'd been talking to her for like maybe three days or something like that.
Starting point is 03:38:17 And I was like, I could just come down right now. And she was like, hee, hee, hee. Yeah, that'd be crazy. And I'm like, no no but cars full of gas and uh and i got nothing to do for the next 10 hours i was like you're in georgia i start driving right now i'll be there by 7 a.m you know and uh and you know i'll take a nap and then you come over to the hotel around like 11 a.m and we're good good to go here. And she's like, okay. So I got in the fucking car and drove.
Starting point is 03:38:50 It was all night long. It was all night long. The sun came up. Jesus Christ. I left my house at like 10.30 p.m., 11 p.m., and the sun was coming up as I was seeing palm trees. Driving into, I think it was Orlando and, uh, you know, got a hotel. And then the next day, um, you know, what I suggest it happened. And then I stayed down there for like two, three days, something like that.
Starting point is 03:39:15 Yeah. And it ended up panning out. So that's a pretty long drive. I drove, uh, maybe seven hours. Cause you're not, it's 10 hours from here such a long time dude it was like nine hours i want to say it was so long it maybe traffic came into play but i'll tell you i left i remember specifically leaving like like making the decision at like 10 p.m to do it and then getting my shit together and out the door by 10 30 p.m and so i know i was on the road by 10 30 p.m now this was at a time because it's like five six years ago like i said like i had like the iphone 3 or something and it was my only source of navigation at the time and it and it it was it was terrible i like like there were there were times during the
Starting point is 03:40:02 trip where i was like god i hope that I get service before the next turn because I won't know that it's coming on a long straightaway. It was definitely past Daytona. I know that because it was farther south than Daytona that I went. But so I don't know. I remember the sun was coming up when I got there. That's definitely something I remember. So it had to be 6am at the, at the latest when I got there. So it was at least a seven hour, eight hour drive, something like that.
Starting point is 03:40:34 And then another time, um, I think that that time, I think it was after when I had come up to North Carolina to see you or maybe before, I don't remember which, because I was considering like coming to hang out with you again because I drove all the way up there, um, to like Durham or something like that to meet up with a girl. And she was driving from like Virginia. So like we were splitting it and it poorly. And, um, uh, maybe she wasn't from Virginia, wherever she was from, we were splitting it and it poorly and um uh maybe she wasn't from virginia wherever she was from we were splitting it and i had to drive like jesus it was all day and all night it was like seven seven hours minimum that i could just meet at my friend's guest room and uh you know oh no i wouldn't do that too i i gotta i love getting oh there was a bunk bed in there it's fine
Starting point is 03:41:22 i didn't even want to listen to her bullshit after we got where we were going i certainly got this great location there's like 400 lego minecraft things on the shelves oh man it was uh it was a it was that was a long fucking drive but i like getting airbnbs and i uh you know i got a very nice airbnb and oh shit it's our own my own house to ruin. We're going to fuck in all the rooms and then we're going to crash the goddamn kitchen before we leave. Just every dish
Starting point is 03:41:52 must be dirty kind of thing. They got a cleaning service. It's going to smell like Taylor's friend was in there. Yeah. It smelled like I was in there. So yeah, I've driven seven, keep doing that call back i'm sorry it depends on the time if i jerked off i'd be like fuck that
Starting point is 03:42:13 i was about to make a comment that you had your iphone look and you're constantly looking at your hands like is this worth it yeah yeah this could take care of the problem if i just jerked off you know it'd be like oh fuck that what was i even thinking but i drove and it was you know i it was it was worth it i mean this is i got those memories of that that whole silly experience of both of them you know and both of those experiences were like you know once i got there you stayed for two three days or something like that and hung out and had fun and got to experience whatever weird fucking town you were in or city and uh it was a good time so yeah seven eight hours definitely within reason you know anything that's one day one solid drive of going i'm not gonna go two days i'm gonna get a fucking uh ticket at that point what what i would
Starting point is 03:42:55 rather do is just fly the girl to me at that point right like that makes so much more sense then i'm just gonna drive an hour and a half to the airport and back oh hour and a half to the airport jesus yeah your time frame is so much longer than what i'd be willing to do that seems much more sense. Then I just gotta drive an hour and a half to the airport and back. Oh, an hour and a half to the airport. Jesus. Yeah, your time frame is so much longer than what I'd be willing to do. That seems like I would get four hours into it or something and just be like, what am I doing? You're never gonna be a real Pokemon master with that kind of
Starting point is 03:43:15 attitude. You think Ash only collects the Pokemon in his area? No. He traveled. He was always traveling around to new areas looking for new gyms, new adventures. No. he traveled. He was always traveling around to new areas, looking for new gyms, new adventures. No, you gotta be willing. Yeah, new pussy. You gotta be willing to fucking catch them all
Starting point is 03:43:32 and go multinational. Kyle's selling me on this. You're right. Until the moment when it's like, if someone's like, hey, wanna bang? I live nine short hours away. It's like, oh man, that's 18 hours of driving. And I don't like any kind of road trips or trips anywhere where I spend less time at the event than I do driving to it.
Starting point is 03:43:58 And so if I had a Kyle situation where it was like, hey. This event's only six minutes long. But if I was like Kyle and could be like, hey, this event's only six minutes long. But like, if I was like Kyle and could be like, oh, I'm taking three days. Taking fucking three days and we're just gonna be there for three days. Then yeah, that makes sense. That would be fun because it'd just be a three day fuckfest. But yeah, driving there
Starting point is 03:44:17 fucking and the turning around is out insanity. Never, I would not do that. Yeah, that seems like a pain. Because the whole way back, you'd be like, you should have just checked off, you idiot. Yeah, just figure the cost. I spent $350 on gas, I could have just gotten a hooker. What the fuck? I probably could have gotten two hookers.
Starting point is 03:44:38 One good, one too bad, whatever. Whatever kind of composition I need for the day. Maybe just six bad you got a mother-daughter team had some real fun this is bullshit that one's with me on that one you get that yeah of course you can get that a mother-daughter team you can't get that that can't be we can get that where you get that on the internet where you get all the things but are they real mother-daughter i I need some DNA. They better show up with their Florida IDs or I'm checking out. I need some genetic deformity to know that they're related.
Starting point is 03:45:10 Well, they both have fetal alcohol syndrome. Doors or something. They both have a select palate. You're paying for that. You want some DNA tests. I would ask them both on their own privately, like, hey, what's your blood type? And then, oh, there's no way you could be related. You're not actually mother daughter.
Starting point is 03:45:33 It tells me if a mother daughter team are doing that, they're not going to know a whole bunch about like blood types or like what normal parents would know. Well, it's fair because I don't even know my blood type. You both have hepatitis C. You don't know your blood type? No, I don't. I'll probably have to call my doctor. You know why I remember my blood type? O negative, master race.
Starting point is 03:45:52 Yeah, I'm O positive. We were doing our blood type in school, and I was totally ready to make a joke. It doesn't matter if it's A plus, A minus, B plus, or B minus. They're all grades I can't get, so I've got something to work with here. And then I got O+, and I was like, oh, I got fucking nothing. Outstanding. Yeah. My entire family are O-.
Starting point is 03:46:14 We all are. Really? Yeah. Is that B- is the super rare one? I don't know about rarity, but O- is the universal donor one. Is that how that works? You couldn't give to positives right they go positive universe I don't give my blood to anyone you're probably right sounds like you know you don't mind getting a few STDs or so you don't mind it's either death
Starting point is 03:46:39 or hep C your choice choice there I don't have Hep C. Is O positive? If you're Hep C with a pill, I've read. You've read. I'm up on the STDs. Taylor and I were having a long STD discussion. Because, you know, when you're out in the world and dating, you've got to protect yourself. And, you know, I had a little public service announcement a couple weeks ago about HPV and how you need to go get vaccinated for that shit, whether you're a man or a woman. There is no test if you are a man.
Starting point is 03:47:06 There is a test if you were a man. There is a test if you were a woman. It causes lots of complications, but it is completely avoided by two fucking shots, so go make it happen. Can you get them at the same time? I think there's a... It's one, and then you go back and get the other. Yeah, that's how I did it. What are the side effects? The side effects of HPV?
Starting point is 03:47:21 Cancer. Yeah, you can get throat if you eat in box you eat you eat some pussy of a girl that's not a joke but it's so funny it's funny until you know I just went down on a lot pretend to be a smoker. I give speeches. The middle schooler is pretending to have been a smoker. Gigs and gigs. Yeah, so go get your fucking vaccination. You get cancer wherever.
Starting point is 03:47:58 You get the HPV sprayed. So you can get it in your cervical cancer. You can get butthole cancer. you could get penis cancer. You know, just go get your vaccination. But yeah, hepatitis C, there's a pill for that now. It used to be a bit of a long-term poor health sentence and possibly death because of the liver damage that it does and other implications. I don't know.
Starting point is 03:48:25 We talked about a bunch of STs. There's a new antibiotic-resistant gonorrhea that is sweeping the nation. So get tested. Wrap it up. Be careful. Because the whole point is that it's resistant to antibiotics
Starting point is 03:48:41 and that's a real fucking problem. That's about it syphilis and all that stuff. Do you get to rate people in Tinder once you go out with them? No. I'm a 5 star man. I'd be good. Wow but how would you get good ratings? Like would a 5 star rating just mean she's slutty? To me it would it would account right on the all it's always sunny in Philadelphia episode that that's that's what a five-star rating meant there because D was getting a
Starting point is 03:49:17 five-star ratings and it was because she was just fucking I'm a five star man! That's good shit. I will rate every woman in this restaurant! You shouldn't be rating me, I should be rating you! I should be rating you! That's one of the funniest lines in that episode. I will rate every woman
Starting point is 03:49:40 in this restaurant! Sounds so much like he's threatening to rape people. Obviously the joke have you ever seen the um why does kids you know about um the where the the guy's pitching the commercial for the grape juice yeah i'm gonna grape you in the mouth i'm gonna take you down to the basement and i'm gonna tie you to the radiator and i'm going to grape you for the hours. And they're like, whoa, whoa, whoa. He's like, well, that's what he does. He grapes people.
Starting point is 03:50:10 He's the grapest. Yeah. What? I haven't seen that in so long. Why does Kids You Know have really, I mean, all sketch stuff is hit or miss, but their hits are hilarious. Yeah, I really fucking like that.
Starting point is 03:50:26 And some of them are so bizarre and come out of nowhere. I don't remember the exact premise, but there was one where the guy goes to the doctor and he says he can't close his mouth. And he's like, well, you seem to be speaking just fine. You close it there. He's like, yeah, but every time I finish a sentence, it just... You see? Well, let me take a look. And he sticks his finger in the guy's mouth and the guy immediately bites the doctor's finger
Starting point is 03:50:48 off and he goes stop fucking my wife that is weird how are you doing rock on that was gonna ask I'm actually so I still feel pain in my stomach but i'm doing a lot better it it was at least two times better than last time so sorry you got you guys got the short end of the stick in terms of that's okay i'm i'm glad that you're not wheezing and huffing and puffing into the mic because that would be and i feel that would be unacceptable right it's not a health issue it's just like get the fuck out of here. Mute the mic! Mute the mic! But yeah, I'm sorry about being a pig with this, but anyways.
Starting point is 03:51:32 Oh, you're good. I'm feeling, I know it's going to be, I'm still worried about the, you know, second part. Oh, the subsequent shitting. Yeah, the shitting. You can always do the sour cream method. Lots of chocolate, Get that coated. I might butter it up, you know, just to make sure that whatever goes out just, like, squeezes out. Sure.
Starting point is 03:51:49 You probably don't even need the whole stick. You can probably just put it back. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'm honestly doing way better than what I thought I was going to be doing. I can't believe it's not butter.
Starting point is 03:52:02 I can't believe it's not butter. I want the spray, right? Maybe that would help. Yeah. My grandma always has that. But then she also always has a ton of real butter. Make a decision. Well, you cook with margarine differently sometimes. I know, I'm joking. It's got a higher burn...
Starting point is 03:52:18 I'm just thinking, Woody... You cook with margarine differently, yes. Woody, I could mail you these. And you could cook some muffins for your dog not for your dog for your neighbor's dog oh actually just leave them around the uh at first i was gonna see if i burned a different color yeah mainly i'll burn something else i'm not eating it that would be crazy i wonder if it does i wonder if it burns blue or something no probably not probably just red like everything else well you know there's other gases that burn other
Starting point is 03:52:46 things i'd yeah think it through if you throw lots of plastic into a bonfire burns lots of interesting colors and they say oh this is a good for the environment you shouldn't breathe that it's like ah it's just a little fun it goes up in the air and becomes stars it's nature's dumpster it's nature's dumpster all of nature nature's dumpster. All of nature is our dumpster. We are the grand poobah species on this planet. You think if bears were top of the food chain they'd be like, don't eat that bush, we're saving it. No, they're doing everything they want to do. They already shed outside. They burn shingles, they burn green. Oh wow. Oh really? really yeah i've burned all kinds of noxious
Starting point is 03:53:26 things before they they but yeah lots of colors i used to we have so many boxes we can't throw them all away like our recycle thing's not big enough so every so often i catch up by burning our cardboard boxes and it was always a hot topic in the vlogs the the comments would fill up like i can't believe you burned paper. Yeah. Why do you have so many boxes? Because most of what we receive is through the internet. Like Amazon stuff.
Starting point is 03:53:57 It's often a bigger thing comes in. Even right now. If you go to my garage, there's some boxes queued up. One propeller came in. Two brooms came in them and they shipped them in separate boxes so we have two boxes like this wide and six feet tall that we got regular brooms in um i don't know just big stuff comes in and that's a lot of box i love burning stuff it's really fun i don't know what everybody gets on you for it's look there's just people
Starting point is 03:54:22 it's it doesn't bug me my conscious shitters are doing in their country fucking burning like like come on like stop hating on this one guy in north carolina that burns 30 fucking boxes and start looking at that country of a billion people that that's burning coal for their energy for the most part, you know? Or burning elephant dung in places in Africa where they burn actual animal shit. The whole bar runs on trash. It's totally green that way. The bar smells like trash. There was a guy in the northwest of Spain and also Portugal who was running around and creating
Starting point is 03:55:04 forest fires and just burning acres and acres of uh and they actually caught him what'd they do to him probably jail i mean i i don't know he actually got somebody killed um and just burned tons of property down uh actual houses down i know i know what i'll do do. I'd probably, I don't know, definitely give him one of these. Hang a bowling ball down by his balls or something, and then just swing it. I say just burn him alive.
Starting point is 03:55:36 We've got a whole book and manual on how to torture people. Yeah, you guys were fucking experts at it. Some of the best there ever were. That whole Spanish Inquisition thing was pretty rough. I like to think that a thousand years from now they'll be talking about
Starting point is 03:55:52 Gitmo. Oh, not the same way as the Spanish Inquisition. They got creative over there. If you're the best at something, you need to be proud. Trust me, a program ran by George W. Bush is never going to be as creative
Starting point is 03:56:08 and insightfully evil as one ran by the fucking potpourri. The Spanish Inquisition was as bad as it's ever going to get. Trump said, you know the New York City bombing? The terrorist, not bombing, I'm sorry. It was a truck driver.
Starting point is 03:56:23 Yeah. They asked trump if they wanted to send him to gitmo and he's like maybe maybe i like that idea because he was like ripping on our whole justice system and they're like do you want to send him to gitmo and he's like yeah like he hadn't thought of it then he didn't say like okay new plan going to gitmo but it was like that is on the table i would send that guy to gitmo and by the way i'm being honest i thought obama turned that shut that down yeah this guy's guilty they caught him right like he's on video he got out of the car like there's no real trial needed we didn't have to follow the paper trail to figure out who like yeah oh i read that he he wants an
Starting point is 03:57:00 isis flag in his hospital room and he feels good about how it went. So this guy is— Unrepentantly, admittedly, an ISIS-sponsored—however you want to define it. He's a terrorist, and he salutes the flag of ISIS, and he killed Americans for that purpose. It was interesting hearing his little story. Of course, he wasn't doing well in the world. I guess he'd had a lot of traffic offenses, as a truck driver he uh he'd lost his insurance rates had went really high up and then he couldn't get hired by uh companies to drive trucks anymore and so he's making less and less money and he blames that on the government of course among other
Starting point is 03:57:36 things and he had radical politics for a long time his co-workers said and then yeah take one look at this guy and yeah he fits the the general description uh you know he's he he looks the part um he looks like dragon over here if dragon didn't shave for about eight or nine months um and and lost a lot of hair like like that he he has that sort of look about him and um i didn't mean that to be offensive anyway he looks rough yeah um no no okay so he's not like no not quite. You know, if you got a real good tan and you grew that beard up for about eight months
Starting point is 03:58:10 and you lost some hair, that's what he looks like. I feel a lot of people qualify there. Yes, he's an Uzbeki. We need to find out if they got any oil we can take. Casey Neistat made a really good video about his experience there.
Starting point is 03:58:26 So yeah, I'll summarize it because it's like 12 minutes to watch, but basically it was Halloween and he's really excited. It's his favorite holiday because like the whole city, he's big on New York City. It's the main character in almost every vlog he makes and, and they all get together and dress up and have a parade. And it's the whole city's like focused on the same fun thing at one time. So it's cool. Anyway, he's in his office following up on emails and stuff. And he gets a call from CNN. CNN like bought his old company or something.
Starting point is 03:58:56 And they say, look, there was just a terrorist attack like in front of your house. Why don't you go check that out? So he gets on his skateboard, starts going to his house, and the police have it blocked off. And he phrases it gently, but basically a cop lied to him. He's like, look, my family's in there. This is where I live, and I need to know if they're okay. And the cop said, oh, everybody's fine.
Starting point is 03:59:22 Your family is fine. The only guy injured was the perp, oh, everybody's fine. Your family is fine. The only guy injured was the perp. You know, in this case, the terrorist. So Casey, like, believes the cop. And he mulls it over, like, kind of in his head saying, you know, like, he would have known, right? He was 50 feet from where it happened. Like, I want to give him the benefit of the doubt and say he was misinformed. But, you know, like, I love the police. I want to give him the benefit of the doubt and say he was misinformed, but I love the police.
Starting point is 03:59:48 I had a great relationship with them. They keep the city safe. The unspoken thing is, this guy just fucking lied to me about whether my family might be hurt. Yeah. He goes and then he meets someone who saw it and he videotapes her for a little bit and she describes a dude in a Home Depot truck
Starting point is 04:00:04 running people down. Casey says, but the only guy hurt was the perp she's like no you know that's not what i saw that's not what these people are saying that's not what's what's up and uh and then after that he was able to call confirm his family was okay and that's kind of how it went down for him but it was interesting happened right on his block. Yeah, crazy. I'm glad they've got the guy, and they'll punish him accordingly. I saw that in sort of related news, I guess. We've been hearing for a while that the North Korean nuclear test site, which I guess is a mountain where they blow nukes up underneath,
Starting point is 04:00:43 they were saying that this thing could be unstable. It could collapse. Well, it collapsed this week. Killed 200 North Koreans. Trapped another 100 under there. I suppose they're still under there. But I'm sure that North Korea is rescued too. A bunch of rescuers. It collapsed, and then they went to rescue,
Starting point is 04:00:57 and then it collapsed again on the first responders. Not good. I heard maybe it was Sean Hannity. He suggested he was like, he's like and i'm sure that the north koreans are gonna say that we did this and maybe we did maybe we did actually yeah and i i like that idea i hope we did do it i hope that we did uh have something to do with that uh that mountain collapsing uh i i really do that'd be great. I can't get past the Trump stuff. I feel like
Starting point is 04:01:26 we talk so much politics, but dude, they got busted for colluding with the Russians, right? Like this one guy, George Papadopoulos. He's pled guilty to it already. And apparently his, the way that he pled
Starting point is 04:01:43 guilty proves that Sessions lied when he testified to Al Franken and all that stuff. Perjured himself. Perjured himself. Well, it comes out again that Carter Page said that he told Jeff Sessions, too, that they were meeting with the Russians. So now it's like... Double perjury.
Starting point is 04:01:59 Double perjury. And I guess there was something else. just keeps curious to see how this all pans out yeah and by the bottom of it and i'm happy about that i want to get to the bottom of all of it right if if john podesta who somehow worked for hillary has a brother that hired the company that worked with manafort. I think I have that right. Yeah. Hillary hired a guy who has a brother who seemed to hire Manafort.
Starting point is 04:02:29 If that traces back to Hillary, fucking lock her up. Right? Yeah. They hired Fusion GPS or something, that company, to get the Russian dossier. Yep. I think that's right. But this guy wasn't. He was only connected to the Hillary people, I understand. And then he was brothers with the guy who was connected to the Hillary people. But that's connected. But this guy wasn't... He was only connected to the Hillary people, I understand.
Starting point is 04:02:45 And then he was brothers with the guy who was connected to the Hillary people. But that's connected... I don't know. Get to the bottom of it. And make this so effective that the next time people don't want to do this. Right? Because it seems like in the past, if you're corrupt and you win, then awesome. You won. Congratulations. If you're corrupt and you win then awesome you won congratulations if you're
Starting point is 04:03:06 corrupt and you didn't win well why are we even talking about these people they're not in office let them go and and that's not where i want to be and yeah it sounds like they're getting the bottom of this this mueller guy um is definitely doing a good job uh against the the red team i'm hoping that they get to the bottom of all the Hillary stuff too because there's stuff there as well. Both of them seem to have been doing illegal corrupt shit that's really like a spy novel or something. There's so many pieces to it
Starting point is 04:03:37 and you almost need one of those serial killer charts with the red string everywhere and the thumbtacks to put it all together. You need a moment like Kevin Costner has charts with the red string everywhere and the thumbtacks to put it all together you need like a a moment like kevin costner has in jfk where he's like putting that tying all the pieces together oswald's buying the rifle here and the cubans are here and and this guy's there meanwhile you know like you need that sort of presentation for the general public to even grasp it all like i i've been driving around and i listen to uh either rush limbaugh or uh sean hannity when i drive because it's not that i have
Starting point is 04:04:09 a uh a liberal um radio station to listen to it's conservatives run talk radio yep uh that's that's their medium um so so i get their version of things and so that's kind of about all the news i've gotten from it i haven't watched cnn in months don lemon is just too much of a fucking shill for me to see him so i mostly watch cnn on youtube like yeah uploaded clips and jake tapper uh seems to be their main guy i think he's biased i don't mean to say he's unbiased but um he does a pretty good job, I think. He's way better than Don Lemon. He's certainly more tolerable. And he's, I would say, less biased than any of the Fox guys that I run across, like Tucker Carlson and stuff. They're, to me, on the extreme edge, whereas Jake just doesn't live up to being in the middle.
Starting point is 04:05:03 extreme edge, whereas Jake just doesn't live up to being in the middle. Hannity's the most, because Hannity was waving the Trump flag very early in the Trump situation, and he feels like he picked a winner, and he did pick a winner, and, you know, he's sticking to his guns in that regard. I remember, like, you know, Hannity, he comes on every day here, so, like, if I was, I was driving a lot during the campaign he comes on every day here so so like i if i was i was driving a lot during the the campaign and so every day i was getting like two three hours of hannity as i'd go back and forth to atlanta and you know he'd have donald trump jr on there he'd have eric trump on there donald would come on like once every 10 days and and speak with him for like 10 15 minutes at a time or they'd joke back and forth it was it was great to have that kind of access to Donald.
Starting point is 04:05:47 I mean, not that Donald wasn't going anywhere that would stick a mic in his mouth. And that's one of the things that if it turns out that they colluded with Russia, I think that'll get lost to history is how hard he did work at this thing. He was kind of brave about it too, right? Because like Jeb used to complain about how much
Starting point is 04:06:06 TV coverage Trump got. And I remember, I think it was like Morning Joe or something, but they were like, we'd love to have Jeb on. You know, at the time, Jeb was like one of the top two guys. Maybe he had just gotten knocked off by Trump. And they're like, you know, we want to have Jeb on. Jeb doesn't want
Starting point is 04:06:21 to come on the show. All he wants to do is complain about people who do want to come on the show. Because when you come on the show, they ask you hard questions. They ask you gotchas. They ask you many, many times. Trump was asked some question that he just completely wasn't prepared for. But he would just say that question's a gotcha question. That question's unfair.
Starting point is 04:06:41 And somehow never got stuck with being unqualified and yeah jeb you know you want to be present low energy you need that and donald's interviews would start so fucking early like like like i don't remember exactly what was going on then but it's i was often up early in the morning driving and so like i i would be listening to serious and Sirius and, like, going through, like, the POTUS channel, President of the United States, and all their political shit. I, like, had the speed dialed in on, like, my XM2 or whatever. I got, you know, a ton of pre-programmed shit.
Starting point is 04:07:15 And Donald would be on three, four times a day. He's bouncing around different media outlets. You'd see him on E! Like, he'd be coming out of his building and somebody just stick a mic in his mouth and ask him like a big global reaching question he'd be like well let's talk about yeah let's talk about isis and he's like are you talking about isis strategy on a street corner right now he's like yeah yeah i am we got a plan and uh the generals are going
Starting point is 04:07:42 to execute it and uh i promise you by day uh by promise you, by day 50, they'll be all wrapped up. He usually didn't have a plan. He just had a false promise, like whatever it is. Healthcare? Oh, trust me. Healthcare is going to be great. We're just going to find so many efficiencies that everyone's going to get free healthcare. It's going to be better than it is now.
Starting point is 04:07:59 That was literally what he said on healthcare, but I could go on. Is ISIS playing? I have a plan. I have a plan for ISIS. But I'm going to get all the generals together. I'm going to have them give me their plans. And the general that got it right, like he's trying to guess a number between 1 and 100, I'm going to go with his plan and he'll lead it.
Starting point is 04:08:15 And that was his thing. And he usually just had... To be fair, ISIS has been crippled. You know, city after city they've lost. ISIS has been crippled. City after city they've lost. ISIS, as it was, as an established caliphate,
Starting point is 04:08:29 a political, geographical thing, has been wiped virtually off the map. And now they're just sort of an online movement to some extent. ISIS is pretty much defeated. I hear you. So was Al-Qaeda. Go into New York and grab a car. Well well we don't hear from them too much
Starting point is 04:08:47 that's what I'm saying Obama beat Al Qaeda and ISIS popped up now Trump beats out ISIS or finishes that off and I don't know what's next Obama allowed the rise of ISIS by withdrawing from Iraq that's cause and effect there
Starting point is 04:09:03 it's not as if Obama defeated Al-Qaeda and then up rose another Hydra head. Obama pulled out of Iraq prematurely. Not that we should have ever been there, you know, and that led to the rise of ISIS. And ISIS was and is mostly formed from remainders of the Iraqi military and insurgents who had fled into the country, coalescing around religious leaders, you know, looking for money and power and, you know, sex and all of the things that were promised to them by these religious leaders, you know, religious mercenaries to some extent. ISIS as he just did. Now, not the way Trump explained it in the debates or whatever. He made it sound as if Obama was the leader of ISIS or something and he's sending out the marching orders
Starting point is 04:09:53 the way he phrased it. But that's just how ISIS became. The thing is, when you've got people that are willing to get in a car, just grab acid or a knife, those attacks are impossible to make. To prevent. Yeah, sorry. willing to get in a car just grab acid or a knife those attacks are impossible to make right and it's to prevent yeah sorry to yeah uh to prevent it it almost feels impossible to to defeat it completely yes it's absolutely impossible to defeat your capital and all that but to defeat
Starting point is 04:10:18 what we what we saw in new york is absolute prevent it is absolutely i'm surprised it doesn't happen more often to be honest not that not the propaganda would suggest to us that these people are just fired up and ready to die and they believe that you know the afterlife is there so wholeheartedly but the facts on the ground don't support that they just they just don't you know they they seem to be uh about as wishy-washy about their religion as the rest of religions are. There's plenty of Christians. I remember I like the Bill Maher documentary Religulous, where
Starting point is 04:10:53 he goes and sort of goes after some religious people, and he's asking the guy, he's like, so you believe that when you die you will go to the kingdom of heaven and have anything and everything you've ever wanted, and you'll be with God Almighty, and that'll be so much better than this world. Oh, absolutely I do. He's like, so why don't you kill yourself?
Starting point is 04:11:11 And it's like there's this moment of like, oh, shit, I can't believe he said that. I'm referring – in Europe it's happened super often, France, UK, Spain, all over the place. When you consider the population of Muslims, though, it's rather sporadic. It's like one or two per country. And a lot of those countries have high populations of Muslims influxing in from the North African countries and other Middle Eastern countries that are war-torn like Syria. I think the Muslim density is a big deal, right?
Starting point is 04:11:42 Because you can create an echo chamber and let your ideas get more radical. If you're the only ISIS person in Raleigh, probably in a couple of months, you'll just be a regular guy who doesn't think it anymore. And one common denominator you'll notice almost without fail is that these guys are having trouble
Starting point is 04:12:01 in their personal lives. They don't have a lot to live for, so it's really easy for them to be manipulated and the buy into this thing you know if they say there are no atheists and foxholes like imagine it if you're if you're dying cancer you're dying a terminal cancer you could become very devout very quickly and in the same regard if you're like this guy in New York all the sudden your employment opportunities been taken away I'm your're you're facing living on the street potentially be really easy to get radicalized and and to and to like point that truck at specifically at you know the people
Starting point is 04:12:35 that you blame for ruining your life and i think that's what you're seeing there it's pretty fucked up turns out people died right yeah eight people died and maybe 12 injured i'm not sure about that number yeah well i think it looks like taylor's going to be busy no i will wait for him to come back i guess decide yeah there he is so i think taylor is going to pursue uh this young lady so he's got on the other end so um, she did text back. LOL, not much. Boring night. Oh! Maybe you can add a little excitement to the evening.
Starting point is 04:13:12 Ask her if she's seen Stranger Things 2. Oh, good call. Yeah. You can support for today's show. It comes from War Dragons, a mobile real-time strategy game where players directly control dragons to attack enemy bases. With over 150 different dragons to collect, players can join guilds
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Starting point is 04:14:00 MeUndies, and Dollar Shave Club. Let's all wish Taylor good luck in showing that girl what his cum smells like. Jesus Christ! Smells like pennies! Protein powder! And sliced asparagus.
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