Painkiller Already - Painkiller Already #362
Episode Date: December 1, 2017This week on PKA, Harley is back! The guys go into a deep dive discussing Bitcoin and cryptocurrencies, then discuss EA's greedy behavior and review the footage of the North Korean solider who defecte...d.
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All right.
Painkiller already.
262 with our guest Harley.
Kyle?
Yeah, a couple of ads tonight.
Smart Mouth, Simple Contacts, Movement Watches, and Bespoke.
We'll talk about them later on in the show, but there's links down in the description if you just can't wait.
Yeah, let's get right into it.
So my topic.
All right.
So we have been guessing what the next sexual assault-like predator would be.
Kyle got half credit with something.
Was it Eddie Murphy or John Travolta or something?
John Travolta, yeah.
All right, I did not see this one coming.
Coco the gorilla.
Oh, come on.
What?
You can't accuse a gorilla of assaulting,
of sexually assaulting.
So it turns out
another former employee of the Gorilla Foundation, so there's more than one, sexually assaulting. So, it turns out another
former employee of the Gorilla Foundation,
so there's more than one, has filed
a lawsuit saying she was repeatedly
forced to partially disrobe
in front of Coco the Talking Ape.
So, if people don't know Coco at all,
he apparently has a vocabulary of more than
a thousand words, and this
ape can talk in some way.
And, um,
let's see, I'm trying to find the best the best quotes from this isn't coco a girl yeah coco was a girl so to reveres reveres the plaintiff in
this thing she was hired as an executive assistant but wasn't introduced to coco until june to her
shock and surprise patterson informed quote inform riv Rivera that Coco was communicating by sign language
that she wants to see your nipples.
Rivera expressed her
incredularity, not this new word
to me, she was incredulous
about the apparent request.
Incredulosity.
Man, anyway.
This is weird. And they said,
everyone does it around here for Coco.
Just calm down and give her time.
And she reluctantly raised her T-shirt to briefly reveal her bra.
But Riviera was admonished that Coco wants to see her nipples.
And she complied.
And then she goes, okay, look, Coco.
She has big nipples.
Oh, my God.
Yeah.
Is this a real article?
So I looked. She looked right into that, though. Like, that was clearly some Is this a real article? So I looked.
She looked right into that, though.
Like, that was clearly some dude that was just like, oh yeah, you know what?
This gorilla loves it when you just, you know, squat and show it your pussy.
Like, he just loves that.
Like, it's just part of nature.
You know, God's wonder.
No, there's no dude here.
No, there is a dude, Patterson, the guy who was saying, oh, Coco loves to see your nipples.
Show him your nipples.
But his name's Francine then.
So my client was getting requests.
Yeah, I was wondering.
But yeah, it's a Francine.
I'm assuming it's a girl.
Well, then I guess nobody's getting in trouble because this is just – in that case, this is just a silly woman who believed that a monkey cared enough to see her nipples.
The monkey can speak.
What is this website?
It sounds like someone's fantasy.
nipples the monkey can speak the monkey side it sounds like someone's fantasy the monkey said let down your hair lie down on the floor and show your breasts again and close your eyes the monkey said
that that's that can't because it's true i my first thought is that there's a dude they're like
oh you know what the monkey wants right now he's saying he wants us to... Coco's fascinated with how humans reproduce.
She would love a quick little seminar on that.
So I looked at SFGate, I assume that's San Francisco Gate,
and I was like, this is going to be a joke.
This is like an onion that I've never heard of.
No! No, like all these articles are like legit.
This is the only crazy thing on their site
It's lady complained about this. This is bullshit
Like like like look you get it just like the monkeys in the cage the ape wanted to see your nipples it
Signed that they wanted to see the nipples
It's not like the guy someone made this up and like like what what's her complaint?
She was embarrassed to show her nipples to the ape like yes that was her complaint what kind of lesson you want to teach the ape
anyways you know he's the apes got to know that you can't just ask for boobs and get to see them
so i don't know why the president francine sanctioned the showing of the boobs she should
have been like this is an excellent opportunity to teach coco that you don't just ask for titties like that.
I bet that
Patterson was pretending that this happened
all the time, and I really doubt
that it ever happened a time but this one.
You know, Taylor,
this is so irresponsible of you for not
just believe the accuser
or accused of anything.
I believe this part happened, but the way
that that person was leading into it, like,
oh, everybody's showing their nipples around here.
Well, that's the big thing.
That's the big thing.
It's kind of all focused around
Francine just wanted to tell this new
employee in some sort of power move that she has
big nipples. That's what
came down. It was like, oh, look, Coco, she
has big nipples. That's weird to
even say that. At that point, she went like that she went like so much further and it was like
about yeah it was about hey i want to see a picture of this chick who had to show her
tatas to the the the ape because like i feel like that's relevant it is to it is to me
uh oh yeah for science like i i really can't form an opinion on the case until i see the
nipples i mean it and better yet like it like remember so michael jackson was accused of it
and they like well we need to see the penis the kid said had abandoned it or mark on it or
something we need to see the penis to see if the kid you know if his story holds up well i need to
i can't know if this was true or not unless I determine whether she has big nipples. Michael Jackson.
Yeah, they said, oh, he's got a mark on his dick.
You're probably very young, but Michael Jackson was accused of raping kids.
Many times he's been accused of that.
I know he's been accused of raping the kids.
Yeah, child molesting and stuff.
And one of the kids was telling his story and he described i forget
what the details were but something specific and noticeable about michael jackson's coloration or
something okay so the prosecutors in defense or i guess the prosecutors were like we want to see his
you know if this matches the the profile that we've been given then we know this kid has seen
the drawing we have a composite drawing of Michael Jackson's cock.
Yeah, yeah. I remember
Bill Clinton's cock, if I recall correctly,
bent to the left. And that was one
of the things that
they're like, well, we need to see the
presidential cock. If it bends to the left,
then, you know,
these women saw it too. That's a very safe
one to grab, though. Really?
It goes slightly to the left or slightly to the right or slightly up. But if they're like too that's a very safe one to grab though it goes slightly to the left or slightly
to the right or slightly up if they're like slightly to the left there's a you know a bow
shaped birthmark right you know on the side of the dick yeah a bend isn't enough a bend is like
yeah it's bent to the left and they're like oh look it's bent to the right and it's like, no, I meant your left. Yes. I'm right. So that's what I meant.
I meant that.
Your left.
So most people's cocks wouldn't really line up perfectly
with a straight edge or anything.
What am I looking for?
Like a right angle or something?
A speed square?
But apparently his had a real curve on it,
like greater than 45.
Ah, so like a real...
That's a 90,
but I hear where you're coming from. Yeah, yeah.
Like it made a real left. And dude,
I remember this. I've read so much about
Bill Clinton's cock that
they were talking about different medical conditions
like scarring or things that could
cause it to bend left.
And that sometimes when a guy has a real sharp bend like that,
it doesn't stay forever and it'll work out over time.
And you polish that out like a dent in a car.
That's what I've been working on for decades now.
Just polish that thing.
No progress yet.
I remember the Michael Jackson thing because he's on TV.
I remember I was like four or five years old,
but I remember this very well.
Michael Jackson on TV. And he's like, or five years old, but I remember this very well Michael Jackson on TV
And he's like they took pictures of my penis, and I had to do this and that he's like had this like like public outcry
You know explaining what they did to me. They took pictures of his dick super humiliating and everything
I bet for him cuz like I bet he had to get aroused to they had to bring one of the kids in
him because like i bet he had to get aroused too they had to bring one of the kids in i don't believe this isn't working out for me can you bring one of the boys in
i've come full circle on that i don't think michael jackson was a pedophile you know what
cory feldman made me think that same cory feldman said that he's not a pedophile yeah so
so cory feldman spent a lot of time with michael jackson when cory feldman was a child star
and just recently he came out and
he's like this guy abused me this guy you know like six i have enough people abused me they
abused cory stain or whatever that guy's name was aim cory aim that's what they called him afterwards
and uh and they think that's one of the reasons he's dead now and you know but he's like but i'll
tell you who never was bad to me michael jackson Yeah, Macaulay Culkin said the same.
And these are some hot kids.
It's almost like he acted so much like –
I wasn't going to say.
Thank you.
You went first.
Some hot kids.
Macaulay Culkin.
Oh, primo ass.
He's like a goat that goes sour after one week, and you're like, what happened?
You promised November 31st.
It's November 3rd.
What happened to you?
How did he pull Mia kunis or whatever her
name is kulness the hot one what is it kunis that might have been when i said the first time
yeah so mia kunis and macaulay caulkin were dating for a while that he was way over his
according to russell brand right or that comedian comedian. I don't know if there was
a public relationship, but I know
the story you're thinking of, and that makes
no sense, because Mila Kunis is
very attractive.
He's rolling around in Home Alone money
and shit.
That ties into half
of these. It might have been before that.
But all these
sexual assault...
Look, I don't want to blame the women.
But here I go.
So, if
these women didn't whore themselves...
If it wasn't...
I feel like in some of these sexual
assault cases, what we have here is
buyer's remorse. The currency
that they were...
The currency that they were your seller's remorse the currency that they were
using was their sexuality their fucking harvey weinstein and then they're like you know what
that guy made me fuck him for this job how wrong is that i answer wrong but you know i'm not holding
you completely innocent you took that job from someone who didn't fuck him
nah but that's not what happened because like the chicks who got the jobs aren't complaining
all the chicks yes they are didn't get jobs no i think now i need to name her yeah no i thought
it was because he was like uh like cornering women and jerking off into a bush and stuff in
front of them he did dude he's taking his dick out in front of them. He did. Dude, he's got so many accusations. Taking his dick out in front of them.
He raped one woman.
He stuck his dick in a woman forcibly.
He went down on women forcibly.
He's grabbing them.
I wouldn't say it's buyer's remorse,
because he was like,
yeah, come up to the hotel room for a drink,
and then they got in there,
and he was like,
I'm going to jerk off in front of you.
Maybe he's not the best.
Maybe we'll do Louis C.K. then, right?
So these women are coming up into his room,
and- He didn't even do anything wrong, though, because he asked everybody.
Louis C.K. is in the clear.
I wouldn't say he did nothing wrong.
I would say he's one of the least bad.
It's empathetic, gross behavior.
And he pulled it out.
But he also asked.
That's like saying that a boss doesn't do anything wrong when he fucks his secretary.
Louis C.K.
It's kind of like you know uh like putting your
hand in someone's purse and grabbing like a ten dollar bill and be like i'm gonna take this okay
it's like you asked for it no it's not like that
they give you the ten dollars and then they go tell the cops you took their ten dollars
what the louis ck thing is this. He had people who were lesser
known comedians come up to his room
and then he wants to jerk off in front of him.
But they're like, man, if I get
a relationship with Louis C.K., I might
open for him someday.
I might have an in. If I out
Louis C.K. because I didn't want this,
then I could be shunned in this
tight-knit community of comics.
There are accounts here where they've told it,
they've reported or they've provided some documentation
that they've reported it back then,
but it was just like, shh, don't say anything.
You're going to fuck your career up.
It's a weird thing to use your power to get sex,
which is what Louis C.K. did in a way.
It wasn't literal sex.
It was jerking off in front of girls.
But he's using his power to get something that he wouldn't have gotten if he was a CPA.
Well, that's a bad example. CPAs are badass. If he was only an attorney or something, right?
Oh, okay.
So Louis C.K., though, is a famous comedian. He's jerking off in front of multiple women who probably wouldn't do that for an attorney i mean yeah but if they were someone who worked at a law firm who you saw an opportunity
there they might yeah like and also they were women attorneys there were women who said no
to louis too and he didn't jerk off in front of them like my understanding of it i don't think
i'm missing anything about the louis one but i just think lumping him in with the rest of a lot of these fuckers is not fair, because it's like,
oh, I just went up and asked if I could jack off, and they said yes, and so I did, and I didn't do it in front of people who said no.
What if it's this? That's true, there's lots of people that are like, everyone's getting thrown in this one huge bucket,
and that's what's really crazy, that like no matter what like anyone if
if if like two people say anything like you're thrown into the harvey weinstein bucket which
is fucked up because that's a fucked up bucket and maybe people deserve to be in there but i feel like
these days it's like it's rampant but what is like it's a new person every time and like you know i just saw jeremy piven they just released uh
uh those uh lie detector results and you know the apparently the person who said it had lied
before about something like having cancer or something like that so like i mean it's at a
place where you know you could say something about someone and then no matter what there's 10 articles
made about it and whether or
not it's true the way the headlines are written it's like it's set in stone so it's a little crazy
these days some of them are like this though like what if i'm an ugly publisher and she's a hot
author and i'm like hey you know i can't pick up hot chicks like her on my own but because i'm a
publisher fucking hot authors are willing to let me jerk off on them
and here we are because reverse that for a second and say that you're the writer and the publisher's
a woman and that she wants to have sex with you do you think that you have the agency to make that
decision knowing that it will be beneficial towards your book getting published so like when
you fuck her it's not like you're like oh my god i've fallen right into her vagina over and over it's like you kind of recognize an opportunity and you took and you
seized it so there's the level of what's right and what's wrong that i'm trying to draw out because
i think that at least in some of these cases some of the harvey weinstein cases some of the louis ck
cases there are people who have like a kind of buyer's remorse who were like, yeah, I let Louis C.K. jerk off in front of me.
And now I wish I hadn't done that.
Why did you let him do that?
You know, if you weren't sexually attracted to him, why did you let him do that?
It's because Louis C.K. is rich and powerful.
Right.
That's why.
You know, this guy is not just we think of him as comedian, but he's making shows.
He's a writer.
He's a producer.
He's he's a big shit in Hollywood.
And these women
are letting him jerk off on him near him whatever because they're nobody's a big difference yeah
it is a difference to me it's pretty similar but oh really is there any situation where someone
i don't want to dive down that rabbit hole what i want to cover is this is a huge difference
it's it's like these in this case it's a huge difference. It's like these, in this case,
it's mostly women, but it could go either way. They're opting into sex tax and then
not happy about it afterwards. And the question I have is, if you're Louis C.K., if you're Weinstein,
take away the rape stuff from Weinstein, right? Make it just that he likes to jerk off while he's
in the shower and she's on the bench nearby
watching, right? If you're in a
position of power and these
women are
not really interested in you but hoping
that they can gain something through this
non-love relationship,
like,
how wrong are we here? Where are we on this
scale?
I don't like the comparison because in the Weinstein thing, he has a job.
He can get you a job right there.
His job is to give people jobs.
His job as a producer in many cases is to sort of get people jobs in movies.
He can make you in this industry that you're in.
Whereas Louis C.K. is just a really well-known comedian and everything.
He's big in that
industry but it's like jesus can he not get laid like can he never fuck a comedian now for fear
that she's gonna have this buyer's remorse as you put it you know afterwards you know
a little bit and i'm not saying that he can't i'm saying that like it's you know if you grow up in
a bad neighborhood you know what routes to take or what not to take you know when
you're asking for trouble so i think people in positions of power it's just their due diligence
whether unfortunately or fortunately however you look at it it's your due diligence to be like
this person is applying for a job with me let's say and they're wasted right now and they did come here and i don't know if i'm
going to give them the job or not is is fucking them in this drunken state all right good i want
to get this thing because kyle's way off on this and i'm just saying this is like per basis to each
person you just got to do your due diligence like when i was a teacher if i made a kid stay after
class i made his friend stay after class too so that i wouldn't
be alone that's just you just have to think like that you have to know that if you're you know with
great power comes great responsibility and you got to be responsible with the situations you put
yourself in so louis ck is not just a well-known comedian louis ck was a writer on 47 different
things he was a producer on 35 different things, an actor on 38, and a director
on 24.
At this point in history, he's done
those things, but at the time of these
sexual allegations in 2002,
he was none of these things. He was barely
even a comedian.
I mean, if you take all the
accolades that he's gotten to this
date, I mean, if he did this shit last week,
that would make sense. Alright, so Harley, all the accolades that he's gotten to this date i mean if he did this shit last week it would that
that would make sense but like all right so harley let me let me throw this one at you you know like
as by 2002 he was a producer or not 13 different things no i don't want to get the facts right like
we can't just say that louis ck is a comedian we all like and that's all he was no he was a
comedian a writer producer a director an editor. He's a powerful man in Hollywood
and he has been for a long time.
He directed Pootie Tang.
Did he?
I always thought that was random.
It's important that we get that right. That's all.
I feel like this happens on the news
a lot. Someone will be spouting
something that's not true.
What were you going to say? I just think the point
is that he wasn't a mover and shaker
in 2002 when this stuff happened.
I don't think so.
And in any case, maybe he's a guy
who can help you, but look at it this way.
As someone who's kind of an influencer
ourselves, like if Harley starts
dating an Instagram model,
could you draw
the same conclusions afterwards?
She's like, ah, well, Harley should have known
that she was just there to get Instagram followers
and she must have felt pressured
because she knew that if she didn't go out with Harley,
she wouldn't get those Instagram followers
and maybe he'd post on his Instagram
that she was a cold fish and she wasn't cool
and people would unfollow her.
Where does it stop?
That's the question.
She did it because i'm i'm funny
lover and it was yeah and it only makes sense that tall people have big dicks it just it's
gotta be right tall people have big fingers they have big feet they have long forearms
right their shoulder to elbow is bigger why would their dicks not fall in into the same
trend as everything everything i feel like
it's like noses you could have like a little head and a big nose or you could have like a big head
and a little nose you know what i mean there has to be a correlation i'll tell you one thing i
played i played football so i've been in a locker room i'm right there with you people of all colors
and like none of the stereotypes are are stereotypes there just isn't any.
You know what I mean?
There's like...
No, you're right.
I've seen dicks, man.
I've seen a lot of dicks.
Yeah, I know.
Tell me about it.
We're going into dick talk.
Well, we don't want to get
too far into dick talk
this early in the show.
You know, keep talking about
sexual harassment and rape.
But, yeah. I don't know. I feel kind of bad for louis of all these people because harley's right he's
getting thrown in this same bucket with you know kevin spacey who allegedly you know molested a kid
and louis just asked hey can i jerk off in front of you i'm a pathetic ginger mexican you know
whatever he did yeah i i mean like
there i think he's what he did was fucked up too though but like everyone's going in like as long
as you know even jeremy jeremy pivot it's like you know uh this this girl said apparently he
groped her boobs like that's completely unacceptable you know but if he did group
grope her boobs even does that put put him in the same pedophile bucket?
Like, no.
You know what I mean?
Yeah.
Yeah.
There needs to be some differentiation and some definition.
We're not ranking them.
We're just like, you know, anyone's fucked if something comes up, basically.
We actually are going to rank them later in the show.
Chase made a spreadsheet.
Yeah.
We really are.
But anyway, yeah, so I mean as far as I'm concerned the real bad guy here is Coco. Yeah, Coco is the real nefarious, you know, no Coco's
dead. This article is from 2005. I didn't notice that. So really, the cocoa is what kicked all this off.
Yeah.
I was thinking that a lot of old articles,
because a lot of these people had articles written about them in the past,
old articles resurfaced could do damage to people today.
You know, like an incident that was, you know,
an incident that was like a big deal back in
the day even like you know uh rob low is something that now it's because it was already handled then
it's almost like double jeopardy you can't get charged for the same crime twice it's like we
can't you can't bring it back up you know but like right now if something comes up now during this hunt,
just way more impactful.
For people that don't know, Rob Lowe, like 20 years ago,
slept with a 16-year-old girl.
And it was a sex tape about it.
It's on tape.
It's not up for debate.
That's not a good idea.
Yeah.
I don't remember the occasion.
Ah, it's child porn to go with your statutory rape.
How old can you get with a hot 16-year-old unless you're Jerry Seinfeld?
And his career ended for, I don't know, a couple of years and I guess came back.
And, yeah, he was just...
That's Rob Lowe from Parks and Rec.
Yeah.
He fucked a 16-year-old and then he became the super peppy guy who fucked a 16 year old filmed it on parks
and rec isn't that weird how he was able to have a career after that i think chris brown's weird
i i think the fact that chris brown is like bounced back is like i i saw a clip of uh like
wendy williams not that like she's the best example and she was like her whole audience
was applauding chris brown they're like
congratulations on his album release i hope it's very successful he just beat up a woman though
like like like that's that's not as bad to me uh i feel like it it's it's not nearly as bad to beat
a woman up as it is to sexually assault a woman that's just my opinion like like i i just i i
think remember do you remember what she looked like, those pictures?
She looked like she could take a punch.
I don't know if you saw the after pictures of her in the hospital.
They were fucked up.
I didn't think she looked that bad.
You know, Cal brings up a good point.
She looked like she'd taken about two good licks,
maybe a little slap here and there.
She didn't look like...
Remember the porn star that...
Who was the MMA fighter?
Well, yeah. Christy Mack. Oh, man. We're God. Fuck out of her. there she didn't look like uh remember the porn star that um who was the mma fighter well yeah
christy mack yeah we're god out of her now that is an ass whooping okay like like that that is a
serious man on woman ass whooping uh you know rihanna didn't look like that dude if you go on
twitter anytime there's anything about chris brown the comments of i would let him beat me up any day outnumber the is that true i believe he still has uh career comments like five to one like and the
responses to the people who are like a reminder chris brown beat a woman and like put a picture
of rihanna and they're like yeah but he just released a 42 song album or like like that kind
of shit so it's like oh i guess if you can sing and dance,
you can get away with beating the shit out of Rihanna.
No, R. Kelly is the real shocker.
Because R. Kelly legit fucked an underage girl
and peed on her and then videoed it.
And he's got a good career, all right?
And I'm almost positive.
Just fact check me here.
Didn't he have some kind of a sex cult?
R. Kelly had a sex cult?
Yeah, he's got like a
like a house that he like packs with like like 18 year old girls and it seems like we call it
a lot more fun with um with in the music industry like you're allowed to have some shit on your
record right you're allowed to beat a girl here if you're an ex-drug dealer fuck sing about that
would you you know as long as your career is good like you know like if you can still if you can
if you're good talented and you see did you see the kathy griffin video that popped up yesterday
no what she did oh she's like i'm i'm blacklisted i it's like she put it up on her YouTube, the six-minute video of her just tripping out,
looking insane.
That's true.
You say one bad thing about Trump,
Hollywood will blacklist you.
She put a picture up holding his head,
which is like...
Decapitated head, yeah.
Yeah, it's just a messed up thing to do.
It turns out that's the bad thing, right?
Because this tale is sort of insinuating.
You can say a lot of bad shit about Trump, right?
It's not a big deal.
But if you hold his decapitated head, that is a line too far.
Well, that's the line.
People are like, yo, that's still the president.
What are you doing?
I can see that it's a justifiable response,
but I can also see how she didn't know.
She's like, i want to go
right i want to be the most extreme guy and she didn't predict that that was the thing that
everyone agrees is terrible you can call him a rapist you can call him a sexual abuser you can
call him all sorts of dumb and stupid you can call him a motherfucker like there's a lot you can do
well you hold a decapitated head. She literally went like ISIS on him.
You know?
Yeah.
Like you did the one thing that that's like,
you literally had all of ISIS being like,
that's it.
That's the picture.
You know?
To be fair, she didn't have much of a career going anyway.
She had that one thing with CNN where she hosts the New Year's Day.
The New Year's. And then she had her Squatty Potty endorsement.
And then what else was there
you know like i bet if i look up her imdb she's probably on my tv all the time
i don't know what channels you're i remember hating her when she was at start on seinfeld
oh yeah she was jerry's assistant and horrible and she messed up the uh the sauce she got
i'm not gonna to do that sauce.
This one's much better.
She's all fucking loud and horrible.
I had the picture of the guy on it.
It was really funny.
I never liked her vibe.
Something about her just...
I think she's really hot, or she was.
There was a time when...
I just like red-headed girls anyway.
But she's always taken really good care of herself.
And, you know, she spends like three or four hours in the morning
like getting made up.
So, like, she's super high maintenance.
She looked good up until like, I don't know, 10 years ago
or something like that.
I always thought she was –
No, she's no Rachel Maddow.
Yeah, she's held up pretty well.
And actually, I don't know. I felt it seemed to me
that I was always seeing her opinion or she was on my like she found a way to get in the news and
insert herself. But if I look at her actress credits, she really wasn't that busy. Yeah,
she had she had a reality show for a while. She really hasn't done much of anything for
decades, though. Just really, you probably her a lot if you were on CNN,
because whenever they're promoting the whole New Year's thing,
they do it for weeks, and she's in all kinds of adverts,
or she was with Anderson Cooper.
I watched last year's show.
She gets drunk and really inappropriate with Anderson Cooper,
like giving him a blowjob and stuff.
It's pretty funny.
That won't happen this year.
Don't talk about sexual harassment. Watch what
she did to Anderson Cooper last year.
She's all over him. Yeah, I don't know where I saw it.
I don't watch CNN. I don't have CNN.
He looks very uncomfortable.
Actually, I watch it now.
YouTube live streaming
is wild, wild west.
I feel scary every so often
on my... I'll take off on
my paramotor and i'll play han solo being like you did it you're all clear kid or something like that
and i worry i'm gonna get copyright claim for that like six seconds of audio youtube live streaming
they just sit there and play cnn and fox and msnbc for hours and hours at a time you can get it and
and you're like a DDR, just skip all the
commercials. And they always have sports games too.
You can find whatever NFL, NHL,
NBA game you want on YouTube live
streams. It's great and it's way higher quality
than those other bootleg streams you find out there.
I wonder if they do UFC events.
Oh, I'm sure they do. I've never even
checked that. I'm going to check for UFC 219.
Maybe we should talk about that. I don't know. We talked
about it on PKN, didn't we?
I want your pick. Do you think Cyborg
can beat... I mean, do you think Holm can beat
Cyborg? Because my money's on Holm.
I know everybody's going to say it's a long shot.
She's lost two or three
of her last five or something like that.
You know, she's
obviously the smaller
and Cyborg is just considered
just a monster. And she,
I mean,
she looks like a man.
She looks like a scare.
She,
she's not,
she wouldn't even be a good looking man.
She's just disgusting and gigantic and incredibly powerful.
But,
but,
but I like home.
I like home in this fight.
I,
I actually agree with everything you said.
Uh,
home is just a world-class boxer and cyborg has been crushing cans.
So I'm hoping and, Holma's just a world-class boxer, and Cyborg's been crushing cans.
So I'm hoping and even predicting that she somehow shows her that there are levels to this game.
I want to see it so bad because I don't like Cyborg.
I think Cyborg's a cheater.
Maybe you think that because she's been caught taking steroids.
Maybe that's infected your brain.
It has, the same way that the steroids have infected every ounce of her body and turned her into a man.
And a gigantic man.
She is so gross.
I bet her clit is bigger than my dick.
She is atrocious looking.
Like that fucking monster that they let go in there and fight women.
It's almost as awful as that transsexual that they let fight women in Bellator
or wherever she is.
So in the MMA culture, it's not okay to turn down fights fans will give you tons of shit you know but fighters
will be like you know what that's just not the right matchup for me i swear i'm the best in this
game because i can beat 95 of the people in my weight class but that guy he's really good at
what i'm bad at right so sometimes they'll dodge fights and fans hate that. But I almost give people a pass for dodging Cyborg.
She's obviously a dude.
She has more testosterone than I do.
I'm sure of it.
Sure of it.
And her body reflects it.
She's got way bigger muscles.
She's ripped.
She's huge.
Her voice is – she sounds like Chyna.
Remember how Chyna, the wrestler?
If she was in this call, I think she might beat all of us in an arm wrestling contest.
Me for sure.
But I'm looking at Taylor and Harley and thinking.
I don't think.
No, she would destroy us.
I think Taylor could take her.
No, no.
Yeah?
I think Taylor and Harley could take her.
I really do think so.
I think maybe you and I.
I'm just looking at pictures now.
Yeah, she would fuck us all up.
I don't know, man.
It's a woman.
In an arm wrestling contest, I feel good about an arm wrestling contest.
But I don't know any jiu-jitsu.
Oh, yeah.
No, dude, you and I have a huge advantage in arm wrestling.
Because we're much bigger.
Just having a bigger arm like a longer arm
You have more leverage. Oh, she would beat us at everything
She she can run faster than us swim faster than us climb faster than us she could beat the shit out of us
I bet you I could read faster than her.
I bet she has a higher TE ratio than any of you.
I could beat her in Xbox.
I bet you she has no idea how to hook up a surround sound system.
How much do you guys bench press?
Taylor, do you know what you bench press?
I haven't done it in so long.
I genuinely don't know.
Can you do 200 pounds?
Oh, easily, yeah.
I don't know what my one rep maximum is,
but I'll do, like, when I work out, I do two plates.
But I've never tried to stack it up that's just...
That's 225.
Like, 225.
Yeah, that's pretty standard.
You're both stronger than Cyborg.
She weighs 170 pounds.
Like, her upper body...
Like, I bet she could deadlift more than either of you
because she trains at deadlifts
and I know she can do 400 fucking pounds.
Unless you're in the gym training deadlifts,
you just can't do that kind of shit.
I believe I would struggle to roll 400 pounds.
Dude!
It'd be a struggle to stop rolling it
once it gets going.
I would bet $1,000 that Taylor beats Cyborg in an arm wrestling contest,
in a bench press contest.
But not deadlift.
Not deadlift.
Because Taylor doesn't train deadlift.
If you gave Taylor six months to train deadlift with a professional,
then Taylor beats her, I think.
No, she gets six months also.
She's already peaking out.
She's not continuing to ratchet up.
Six months from now, she's not going to
wheel in 600 pounds.
If she knows in six months
she has to beat you at something, there's a good chance
she'll be able to train to do it.
We're going to drug test her, though.
Oh, yeah.
No, I like it better. Don't. And Taylor's allowed to do drugs, too.
Oh, I like this better, too.
Oh, yeah.
I totally win because I'm already a man.
I wonder right now if she would have, like, if we would just take testosterone out of our blood and measure, would she win that right now in this call?
No.
I don't think that she has.
You don't think that she has more tea in her than we do?
I don't think that what she's taking is, at this point, is testosterone-based.
Like, I don't know what the cutting edge of drugs is.
Yeah, me neither.
But, like, I imagine that it's some sort of, it's hormones or maybe some sort of gene manipulation.
God knows what cutting edge athletes that make millions.
She's not even one of them.
I don't know what she's on.
But at some point she was on human growth hormone because her head
is misshapen.
That is an unnatural...
Well, she also gets punched in the head too,
right? Not much. I mean,
she's the one doing the punching. Let me try
to see if I can find a Chris Cyborg when she's young.
Otherwise, everyone else in
the UFC would have like a lumpy
mashed potato head.
I feel like I see a lot of potato heads in that sport.
You see the fucked up ears, which is gross.
I don't know.
Yeah, potato ear.
Yeah, cauliflower ear.
Yeah.
Those are the worst.
Here's a good picture of her.
Really?
I don't think I've ever seen a good picture of her.
Yeah, man.
It looks like they put some Bondo on her.
A little sanding. A little fiberglass work. I've ever seen a good picture of her. Yeah, man. It looks like they put some Bondo on her.
A little sanding.
A little fiberglass work.
Some buffing.
Some airbrushing.
That's the best I've ever seen her look.
Look at that chin, though.
Oh, I bet that turns you on. She has got a jaw on her.
What a monster.
Oh, what a goddamn ape.
She's related to Coco.
She was the one telling that other bitch to take her tits out.
There's more Neanderthal in this woman than all of us combined.
She is not complete.
She looks like a different species.
If there were still multiple species of subhumans,
or if the Neanderthals were still around,
those pygmy men from Indonesia,
if they were still the hobbit men that existed,
and then I told you that,
oh yeah, she's one of the Neanderthal women,
you'd be like, oh yeah, she looks it.
Sounds like you guys could see that.
Me? No.
I'm passionate about how disgusting she is.
I'm more passionate about MMA and wanting there to be...
And I like Holly Holm.
And I don't root against the ugly chicks.
I don't like that.
What's the super hot strawweight chick?
You could be thinking of Paige Van Zandt.
Paige Van Zandt.
I feel like
she's overrated just because she's hot.
I know she's got a Reebok deal just because
she's hot. Everybody's got a
Reebok deal, but she's got
a Conor McGregor style on top
of the regular Reebok deal.
Where she's in commercials and she has her own
line of shit. And that's because
she's just hot.
I'd rather the uglier girls win the fights in
the mma sphere because that's all they've got like they sacrificed any semblance of femininity
and threw that away for the chance to be a good fighter and the pretty girls like if it all goes
to shit they can still quit and go back to being
pretty which is but it's a counter argument what if the pretty girls are giving up their beauty
right page van zandt i i don't know what permanent scarring she has but her face was covered with
blood in her fight against rose namahumas and she just stuck in there all five rounds just getting
beat the fuck out of again and again and again
and it's like ah it just almost seems like they're losing more they're putting more at risk right
we're in a demolition derby you're in a ferrari i'm in a fucking civic and it's like yeah yeah
you sure you want to play this game with me yeah god this girl is way too pretty to be fighting for a job you don't need to do this
find yourself a nice man
she is pretty and it's funny because there's like pretty and then there's pretty for a fighter
right like like and i think that she would be pretty in any room.
Like how there's regular pretty and then there's work pretty.
You know?
Yeah.
Standards change depending on the environment you're in.
Like if you're at, I don't know, if you're at like a bar or like honestly the mall.
Every time I go to like Perimeter Mall in Atlanta, it's like, oh my fucking God.
Like, this is outrageous.
Like, some of the chicks walking around.
No, no, goddammit.
No, there are some smoking hot ridiculous kind of...
Are you allowed in this mall?
Not anymore.
He's, like, 50 yards away from Babies R Us.
I was there one time, and this black chick was walking around, and her entire outfit...
She was wearing a fishnet dress with black bra and
panties underneath and she's literally walking around in her in her bra and panties like like
it was all fishnet like the entire dress and she had a bodacious body just outrageous just
bodacious that is the fucking word she had a rap video body and it's just like um and she had like
you know some dudes with i've seen i've seen uh uh usher
in that mall i've seen nelly in that mall like like like atlanta mall it's a it is absolutely
an atlanta mall fucking it just just you know it depends where you are is what i'm getting at you
know and and work pretty is definitely its own thing on on the we used to have when we went
hiking we called it trail magic right because like i't know, a girl that would be a five.
Well, no, you're just, you're walking your way and you either pass them or they're walking the opposite direction.
And you see a girl.
This girl is not the prettiest thing, maybe would benefit from losing a few pounds.
And all the guys agree, holy shit, she was hot.
Did you believe that?
That's trail magic.
She's in an environment where there are no other hotties.
I have a friend in the Army, and when they go on deployment,
he was in Korea or South Korea,
and he's like, women that are threes are all of a sudden sevens.
Sevens are tens.
They have the pick of the litter.
They can get anyone they want on this base because there
is seven and they're in the army.
But when they get home again, they're
going to be sevens again, so live it up now.
That was his take on the situation.
Yeah.
Trail magic. Supply and demand.
I don't know about trail magic, but
definitely there's a supply and demand.
I don't know how that got rapey to you. It was just
ugly girls getting pretty. I prefer it to be rapey. You're on a trail. Everybody's all alone. I don't know how that got rapey to you. It was just ugly girls getting pretty.
I prefer it to be rapey.
You're on a trail.
Everybody's all alone.
You knock him over the head, take him in the bushes, pull a Harvey Weinstein.
Yeah, but Woody's not even offering him gigs.
No, no.
I'm just judging them as I walk by.
The chance to live.
By fucking in the woods?
No, that's their only chance to survive the encounter.
Oh, because of the implication. Oh, because of the implication.
Yes. Because of the implication.
Exactly.
Yeah.
Well, anyway, this woman has an enormous jaw, and something's not right.
She's clearly on something.
Different species.
Yeah, I would love it if Holly Holm beat her up. That would make for an interesting sort of pedigree for Holly
if she had taken down Ronda Rousey
and also
Chris Cyborg, who were both in their own rights
considered invincible at one time or another.
That would be interesting, yeah.
Then where would that put her?
Beating the best and losing
to the average.
It'd put her right there
next to Amanda Nunez, I think.
Pretty close to it.
I want to see Amanda fight again.
I want to see her destroy someone.
She got hurt.
She was about to fight and she got hurt just before.
So it's been a while.
Well, I'm looking forward to the event,
but I'm not going to pay for it.
Hopefully I can find a YouTube stream or something like that.
I don't think it's a good enough event to plunk down $60
for as much as I want to see Habib
Nurmagomedov fight because it's been
over a fucking year. I think I'll wait.
What do you got here, Taylor? Something about
televangelist Jim Baker?
Did he rape someone?
No, not that bad, but he threatened
viewers' grandchildren with eternal damnation
unless they buy his
pancake mix.
So they need to buy disgraced televangelist Jim Baker stoked fears of presidential
assassination while claiming that their grandchildren of his audience could face
eternal damnation until unless they call a 1-888 phone number and send for a
bucket of pancake mix I'm getting that $60 bucket of grandchildren damnation pancake mix.
I can actually use that.
Where's the link here?
It doesn't work on Jews.
Because they won't let you into heaven anyway.
Nothing can save you.
We don't go anywhere.
We stay here.
You're not in the club. The Jesus club.
It's all Jews
are actually the same Jew.
They just never leave. They just
restart. We're all here.
Or as Woody calls them,
Christ killers.
It's a one and a half minute video. Should we watch it?
I haven't watched the video
so I don't know. I'm already on
jimbaker.com. I'm literally trying to buy this pancake right now.
I'm gonna look at JimBaker.com too.
Yeah, man. I'm down to watch this video. I don't know what it's about. I'm queued at zero.
Let's see where it goes. 3, 2, 1, play.
They kill our president or they destroy him or whatever if we elect the other side I
I mean they've come out against God they just said we don't want God even in
their platform so this is it John listen I think maybe Trump is here to give us
time to get ready because all hell is going to break loose.
And we're not going to have the Antichrist show up to get the sign of the mark of the beast on our forehead.
Shit.
It won't happen without hunger.
Hunger is going to be the main thing.
You don't get it.
Most people don't want to get it.
But that's why I'm so obsessed with you all being
prepared one day jim was teaching many years ago now her on revelation and he said the reason you'll
take the mark of the beast is because you're hungry your children are hungry your grandchildren
are hungry i hear them crying this this is like the dinner table with my parents.
He's got that baby.
He's got a baby in his hands.
He's just wanting to remind you the severity of this.
These babies are starving.
He's crying.
That is the face of a man who has two Mercedes Benz.
I didn't get the hunger thing.
It may know.
Was he?
Oh, you didn't get it?
Is literal hunger we're talking about?
These people are hungry?
Yeah.
Is he saying you should pay $60 for pancake mix to solve hunger?
$60 must be half off because what Harley just linked is $125 bucket
that has 44,000 calories in it.
Exactly. $125 bucket that has 44,000 calories in it. It's not like one box
of pancake mix that you could make.
It's not like a box of biscuits.
It comes in a drywall bun, five-gallon pancake.
This is enough pancake mix
to keep your family fed for weeks.
I just want to say this. This is really
fucking weird.
This is the shopping page on the clearance site.
I went to the Jim Baker baker show website peace brother i went to the jim baker show website and i clicked just
clearance because i'm a fucking kike and i get there and it's uh this is what's here is there's
this survivor kit extreme canteen kit then there's a men's belt like a man's belt watches okay a blender uh a water bottle fine
a bible of course case of duct tape that bucket of food for weeks a flashlight and then like a
letter press with uh letter press blocks with set of 15 inspirational words. So this is like a fucking Insta, like start your own weird ass rapey bomb shelter kit right here.
Get a bucket.
Get the belt for discipline.
Where are my zip ties?
Stay hydrated.
Have your Bible.
Duct tape that person.
And inspirational words to keep you going.
And a flashlight if the power goes out.
It's really fucked up.
I can't believe I'm going to have to buy this bucket, by the way.
After you finish your deeds,
then you're going to want to read them some encouraging words
like forgiveness
and honor
of not ever telling anyone
about what happened in the bucket room.
This is $10,000.
Do you want seven years of italiano marinara because it doesn't spoil that way the buckets are all hermetically sealed up and everything
and it's a huge amount of of pasta yeah this is seven years of pasta that is linked it's ten
thousand dollars this is let me tell you something you know constipated you'd be on the Jim Baker diet?
Dude, imagine you eat two meals and you're like, this pasta is not very good.
I've got three used civics worth of pasta.
I think that's a lot of pasta.
Like, I don't think you're saving there. I feel like $10,000 in pasta. I feel like that's a lot of pasta. I don't think you're saving there.
I feel like $10,000 in pasta,
I feel like that's a lot of pasta money, no?
It is.
Yeah, because it's a dollar for one package,
and one package feeds a family of four, basically.
Ramen noodles are 33 cents, aren't they?
It's a terrible deal on 10 years of pasta.
You don't like ramen noodles?
If Costco got in the 10 years of pasta game don't like ramen noodles if I
Ten years of I do they would there is special trauma noodles are an ultimate white trash
College student food they cost 10 cents for serving. They're absolutely disgusting Woody ramen noodles are
outstanding I don't
Soup water I worship salty soup water. Yeah. Oh, my God. Is sodium in one package of that?
Do I know how much what?
You cannot ask Stones about sodium, Mr. Order multiple.
You just like the people in the drive-thru think you're giving them your phone number because of how much you're ordering.
No, I had ramen noodles after my surgery, the one where the screws came out because I wasn't on full.
They start you slow back on food.
And it was like, yeah, this is a special treat.
This is an excuse.
I bet I had
George Foreman chicken and mixed vegetables
tonight for dinner. I would have preferred ramen noodles.
They'd be tastier.
You eat like
a person who
makes a dollar a day.
You know those commercials
where they're like, for just 69 cents a day
you can keep Habib alive.
You could live on that.
Oh, yeah, I bet.
With this George Foreman chicken and the ramen noodles.
Who is ready to commit to any one of these meals for, like, eight months?
Oh, gosh.
I'm going to do it.
Well, it's emergency food.
No, I know.
Guys, you guys know a guy.
This is like work for me.
This is a tax write-off. I'm getting this. I just linked You guys know a guy. This is work for me. This is a tax write-off.
I'm getting this.
I just linked you guys Pizza Bucket.
Six-gallon Pizza Bucket from the Morningside Church.
Okay, I'll have this God pizza.
And look at this.
One bad review.
One star.
And it says,
Description shows the Pizza Bucket makes 24 thin crust pizzas.
That'd be $20 for each pizza.
I hope it's 24 pizzas for each pouch.
I want to order this but need to know if it makes 24 pizzas or 72.
You think Jim Baker is giving him a good deal?
To me, this is obviously overpriced food.
Yeah, but these people are totally sold that this is all like God wants them to purchase things from here.
He's selling a $3,500 fuel-less generator.
When I watched that old man and that old lady talk about the Mark of the Beast and how the end times were coming, how Trump was a savior and buying us time and such.
I swear they could have been my parents.
That's what your parents that into it.
Like for real,
like they're,
they're kind of,
yeah,
my brother just went to visit to them and visit them.
And,
uh,
they kept pounding this idea of like,
you have to get yourself to Israel.
You're not even Jewish.
Uh,
the Israel has holy sites for all three major religions though. get yourself to Israel. You're not even Jewish.
Israel has holy sites for all three major religions, though.
Yeah, they've been to Israel a bunch of times.
And some of the stuff is, I place a little credence in what they learn.
They're like, look, this is Israel, and I see this other place, like, I don't know what's next to Israel, Palestine or whatever.
And they're like, Israel's green and developed and successful and that place is not and it's the same land right
there's not a huge geography geographical like advantage to israel you just have a population
of people that are doing more with their with what they have it's actually the the climate
and all that it lends very poorly to the agriculture that they pull off they actually
like make some like serious oranges and stuff there and they do it like in the worst climate
to be doing such a thing that that lends credence to my parents were saying so it was like ah you
know what like if i'm divvying up the land and i'm like well these guys have half and these guys
have half and the people with this half are so much better with it i look it it's not that it's
convinced me to give it to the other group or whatever it just makes me think like well
there is a little piece of me that's like if you're just not going to do shit with it anyway
but like fire rockets into israel then yeah let them make grow some more oranges i suppose over there instead right like they may as
well yeah we grow rpgs yeah it's like all you guys are good at is like fucking with people
give it to the uh the orange growers but i don't actually believe yeah that well that's it it's
like uh i mean it's It's extremes, right?
Both sides have intense extremes, and there's extreme Jews and extreme Israelis,
and they're super-duper religious that would look at a Jew like me in disgust,
like I'm nothing.
Those exist.
And then you have literally people on the other side as well.
When I went to Israel, there's a wall there that you go and pray to. those exist and then you have literally people on the other side as well that like like like when i
went to israel there's a wall there that you you go and pray to like you like write a little wish
in a paper and you fold it up and you stick it in the wall and it's like a really intense place
you know i'm not a religious guy at all but i go there and it was like it was kind of heavy
yeah supposedly on the religious day like fr Friday is the religious day for Jewish people, there's like molotov cocktails that get thrown over the wall onto that side.
And it's just like, you know, there's like documentation of schools, you know, in Palestine where they're like wiping their feet on an American flag and an Israeli flag like welcome mat as they walk into their kindergarten classroom.
So there's like a lot of like hate being bred there yeah and uh yeah there's like this crazy uh ross kemp uh do you
remember ross kemp he used to like he's that bald guy he put on a bulletproof vest and he would like
do these like stories on gangs and he would like go to jamaica this like this stocky white dude and
he would like it was just like ross kemp on gangs and he would do stuff to Jamaica this like this stocky white dude and he would like it was just
like Ross Kemp on gangs and he would do stuff with gangs he did one like in Israel and then in
Palestine and like he just goes there and talks to like badass dudes like you know while wearing
a bulletproof vest and does like a little like report on it and uh yeah that was just like a
really it was a crazy one is it American oh go ahead is an american flag welcome mat really the most disgraceful thing
i can think of like i'm i think he meant like on the actual flag not like a welcome mat thing
no i'm saying it's it's it's like they're literally being five years old being five
years old and doing it i feel like you know a grown man doesn't he's like this is what i think
your country i'm wiping my feet it's's like, okay, asshole, fuck you.
But a kid getting taught at school,
wipe your feet on it from an early age
is just like from the very beginning
they're walking on it.
You're right.
It's indoctrination.
But it's just like a related topic.
I see American flag underwear,
American flag bikinis,
American flag clothing,
American flag welcome mat.
I feel like you could pull off as like,
I just really love America so much so that
I want it in front of my door all the time.
Can you even pull off with underwear?
You know, we do have a
Union Jack,
what do you call it, welcome mat here.
Yeah, Kitty has a welcome
mat with her nation's flag on it.
And you had a good point
there, Woody. It's making some sense.
But I think that culture is weird about their feet, though, right?
Yeah, they're coming in and they're wiping their bare feet,
like the mud off on the American flag and spitting on it.
They have much dirtier feet.
I follow.
They're doing it in a bad way.
I was just thinking about, as a product, I was like,
American flag, welcome, Matt.
No, that's terrible.
Oh, but wait, is it? It it's really they're just using it terribly if i had had american flag welter
i don't like it's not just anything i i don't know what that's about i don't give a shit about
the american flag being on anything who cares put it on a condom i'll use it doesn't matter
that's different now that's okay i i don't care uh I'll fuck the patriotism right into you.
We'll get you excited about this election.
But the thing with the Palestine and the Jewish thing that Harley was talking about is like,
same with like the sexual assault thing we were talking about,
where there are too many like equivalencies from people on different sides. And like, yeah, there are some like Zionists over there that are a little out there,
like way too crazy.
over there that are a little out there, like way too crazy. But if one of those Zionists goes into the Gaza Strip and murders a Palestinian, and they come back and they find out they're going to go to
prison, they're going to go to jail, they'll be tried. There are Muslim members of parliament,
is it parliament, Congress, whatever it's called in Israel. There are Muslims live there,
coexisting peacefully with Jews. There are
stories of Palestinians sneaking over, killing children, Jewish children, and then parading
their bodies through the street, celebrating. And so it's like, no, these are not equivalent
things at all. And you look at those parties of dead children, and there's a bunch of kids
around there. It's not just stepping on flags. It like propaganda of like the jews they are not people
like they're not like us like they are your enemy they they are to be wiped out wiped out the face
of the earth there can be no compromise we can't work around them like they're have you ever seen
munich no i haven't oh man munich's excellent so um uh this uh this this group of terrorists
called black sept, I think,
attacked the Munich Olympics,
and they took a bunch of Israeli athletes hostage,
and they tried to board a plane,
and they ended up killing a whole lot of them.
And so the Israeli Mossad,
under the orders of the prime minister there,
set out to kill anyone who was involved with this thing. And they had a list, this big list of names.
And the movie, Eric Bana sort of leads the group in the movie, the actor.
And it's the true story of them going and assassinating these guys
by any means necessary.
Poison, bombs, guns, whatever it takes.
It was called Operation Wrath of God.
Yep.
That's pretty cool.
And actually, it was like what they did at the same
time was like supposedly the moment that they got like the israeli government got revenge on each
person involved in this like complex tree of terrorists they also sent flowers to their next
of kin with a note with a note and so they would get the flowers basically
from a random person saying i'm sorry for your loss and they'd be like what loss what are you
talking about two hours later they'd hear like you know their husband or whoever was killed
and and that was actually apparently one of the first uses of psychological warfare or something
in like modern times times because it's not
getting into the enemy's
brain like that isn't something that had been
used in modern times.
The best part to me is what the note
said. The note said,
we don't forgive and we don't
forget.
It's an excellent movie.
It sounds really good. I'll have to try that.
Yeah.
The way I remember it, it's maybe a two hour and twenty excellent movie. It sounds really good. I'll have to try that. Yeah, yeah.
The way I remember it,
it's maybe a two hour and twenty minute movie.
The revenge goes on for a while.
That's kind of why you watch it.
They just set it up and it's like,
oh, that was rude. Let's go get revenge. And that's the whole movie.
Wow.
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You're about to talk over Thanksgiving,
I'm sure, with at least a few relatives who have bad breath. And that's uncomfortable,
especially if it's like the once a year uncle that you don't really know much about. You just
see him then. It's not comfortable to bring up. So just bring some SmartMouth and just
kind of suggest it. That's the way you do it.
I forgot to use mine last night, and I woke up this morning,
and the first thing I noticed was that my mouth tasted worse than it always does
because I always use this at night,
and it makes it so I don't wake up with that, like, morning taste in my mouth.
So it's very, very good.
It's an essential if you're in the dating world as well.
I tried to get some today at the at my local uh
pharmacy type place and they they didn't they didn't have it so i'm gonna have to go somewhere else and look for it tomorrow i really wanted them all out all out yeah now you gotta get some
what are you doing for thanksgiving i'm uh i'm having my mom and my dad over to my house
and uh and you're doing all the cooking yeah pretty much kitty kitty and i are doing the
cooking i cook the turkey and uh kitty does the sides and i'll get my mom to bring like deviled
eggs and macaroni or something and that'll be it so like kitty will cook like four or five things
and i'll cook the turkey and uh and kitty will do the ham as well because i don't i don't eat ham
and uh you don't eat ham ah i it just i don't really like it that much like like it depends
on the kind there's lots of
different ways you mean like any pork or like no i eat tons of pork um like like a like a like a
ham from the oven like the pineapple shit on it and everything like i'm a big fan of that
but like ham cold cuts i fucking love uh but but i'm not i don't really care about the ham she's
into the ham but i'm gonna i deep fry a turkey every year so like i really love that that's what i usually do every thanksgiving is i only eat like 95 of what i eat
is just the meat where turkey ham if there's usually ribs or fried gravy that like giblet
gravy i love that shit yeah there's there's some good gravies and that's just usually just
what like bacon fat and whatever
the fuck else in there no it's never made gravy i don't know so it's the uh the innards from the
it's got eggs and onions and the innards from the the the turkey uh like all chopped up in there and
i don't know exactly how you make it i've never made it before but i know that's what's in it
and it's sort of a translucent yellowy broth type thing with chunks of shit in it and i just soak all the dressing in that and i like making turkey sandwiches the day for days
and days afterwards i really enjoy thanksgiving i don't i don't care about it as a holiday or
even a family gathering i'd rather do it by myself my favorite thanksgiving ever was at a
fucking shoney's restaurant we were on the road and we were like where we're gonna eat to eat? And we stopped at Shoney's, and it's a buffet, of course.
So they had a Thanksgiving buffet, and it was delicious.
It was amazing.
That's my favorite Thanksgiving ever was Shoney's Thanksgiving,
just me and my friends.
I like the no-pressure aspect of Thanksgiving, too,
compared to Christmas, where you don't have to worry about
any kind of picking out or purchasing of gifts.
I don't buy gifts. You just show up. You don't buy gifts? No, I don't have to worry about any kind of picking out or purchasing of gifts. I don't buy gifts.
You just show up.
You don't buy gifts?
No, I don't buy gifts for people.
No, I don't believe in it.
So only girlfriends.
That's the only person you buy a gift for.
Yeah.
That's a hard sell to any woman.
Oh, I don't believe in gifts.
Oh, okay.
I don't believe in blowjobs, asshole.
No, I tell women that.
So when I'm dating someone,
it's been a long time since I've bought a girl a birthday present because I'm always buying them shit.
I'm like, I'm not going to get you a birthday present.
I'm not going to get you a card either.
You'll be lucky if you get a happy birthday from me.
But I'm going to routinely buy you things on a regular basis.
Just let me know if you want something and we'll get it.
But I don't believe in these days these special holidays when you're supposed to get a thing and i'm supposed to be out shopping and surprising you with like that pair of leggings
that you wanted and as a jimmy shoe fucking boots or something that cost a thousand dollars like no
bullshit i i don't i don't like buying gifts for people like that like when you're like there's a designated day to do it i don't believe in it okay i can tell i don't get into this i'm not into
to gift exchanging like that i have like one buddy because it's cool like you know we have like a
thing but like other than that i'm not i've never i don't want it don't get me anything yeah i i
don't want to give so either You're just going to disappoint me.
If you want to get me a good gift, get me some nice socks.
Yes.
Yeah, that is the gift that in the last probably eight years I've come around on the most.
Because when you're 18, 19 or whatever, getting socks is like, this sucks.
But now it's like, oh, you saved me an errand.
You saved me time that I now don't have to go out and get new socks at some nice merino wool
Socks you know like give me some $30 a $30 pair of socks or something
You know some dress socks and warm winter socks or some underwear and undershirts and all the shit
That's like boring to buy you know I like getting
Yeah, but I don't what are you gonna fucking buy me at this point like i got
i got everything i want like i've got all the electronics i could unless you're gonna buy me
a 75 inch fucking 4k tv exactly same thing like everything i want like i would have got for myself
and if i didn't get it for myself i would feel terribly guilty if i had someone get it for me
yeah the only thing on my wish list right now is literally a gigantic 4k tv because
i've got a gigantic tv but it's a 1080p tv and i've been waiting for the point i i look at them
regularly on amazon i'm like shit the tv i want five fucking thousand dollars i i'm not gonna do
that that's stupid to spend that much money on a tv like when did you buy your most recent one
five years ago and it was five years ago yeah and it and it was three. Well, I buy TVs often, but not big TVs.
Like there was an Amazon sale a year ago, and I bought two 4K TVs that were like $500 each,
and I gave one to my dad and one for myself.
But it's like a 40-inch TV.
Like I've got this 72-inch TV that I paid like $3,200 for or something like that like five years ago
because it was the most expensive TV
you could get at the time. And not the most expensive, but you know, within what I was
looking at, like within the categories I was in, like it was the nicest one I could get.
And now like I want a comparable TV in 4k. I'm not going to go smaller. I'm not going to go to
65 inch. You can get a 65 inch 4k TV for like 1200 to depending on what which one like 1200 to 2000
or something like that but i want a 72 plus inch tv and then every now and then i see the 85 inch
fucking 4k tvs and i just have oh yeah that's so much there's a there's a an 85 inch like sony oled
that is just so dirty right now 10 10 grand or something like that. Yeah.
TVs,
TVs get me.
I,
I bought like a, I spent like 45,
two years ago on this,
like that,
like sexy curved Samsung one that they probably had set up at your best buy in
the back on the wall.
Yes.
Yeah.
I just had to get that.
And honestly,
like it was,
it was,
I love it and I don't regret it.
But at the same
time i got to accept the fact that i bought that tv two years ago i'm like now i'm using the tv
like now i'm playing xbox and playstation and it's 4k the last two years like you buy into it
too early and like it does nothing it like you know i would watch like a few things on Netflix maybe in 4K.
Other than that, no use.
And I feel like there's a good time to get it.
And if I went in now and spent the same amount of money,
I would probably still have a top-of-the-line TV now rather than then.
Look at this TV that Chiz just linked.
For those of you listening in
because Woody had to step away, I'm sure he's got some
mother-in-law stuff going on. This is the one I was talking about.
Dude, it's $5,000 now.
That's not nearly as much as I thought it would be.
85-inch TV. It's marked down from $7,000.
If you're listening, it's a Sony 85-inch
LED.
Maybe that's the thing.
It's the XBR
85X. What's wrong with the's the I'm not an expert but
I know the OLED is better apparently the OLED is they can like each pixel can
turn off individually so like every black is literally like an off pixel
nice like it yeah the real key thing at the end of the day in my experience
is playing on ps4 pro and watching movies whatever hdr is more important than 4k unless you're going
to go with a huge size tv like you know what i mean 70 and up then like 4k is going to make like
a like a way bigger difference.
But other than that, HDR makes the video games look so much better than the 4K resolution.
Yeah, I got a, whenever I got my gaming setup built last year, I got the Acer, which is what monitor I get.
I got the most expensive computer monitor that's made.
The Predator.
Yeah, the $1,400. I got the Acer. I think I The Predator? Yeah, the $1,400.
I got the Acer.
I think I did.
Yeah, it's like $1,400.
It's curved like 32 or 36 inches.
I don't know which.
I don't regret that a fucking bit.
Yeah, I have that right now, I think.
Is it like really long, 21 by 9?
Yeah, yeah, it's the ultra-wide.
I have that.
I think it's like Predator X34 or something.
Yeah, and you can like overclock it to 100 frames which is so funny because it's like it's such to me that's just such
a gamer mentality thing like one thing about pc gaming when i look at like parts for it it brings
me back it's like pc gaming marketing hasn't changed in like and not that it's a bad thing but like since
2001 every graphics card is like harness the power and it's like a cheetah running or some like
generic knight like image and like it's just so pc to sell a monitor and be like overclock it to 100
like i do it's like factory settings to overclock it it's like why not just release it
at 100 why would you be like 70 like it's just markets better to pc gamers i guess to be like
75 frames per second but overclock it to 100 it's just like okay just sell it at 100 it gets a little
unstable sometimes i've had mine flicker when I'm running 100 hertz and playing PUBG.
But recently I've been playing Total War Warhammer 2 lately,
which is an RTS with magic and orcs and shit.
And I can't play that much higher than 60 frames anyway.
It's pretty...
And I've totally...
I've totally... I've, like, honestly, like...
I've been doing the one thing that, like,
basically a lot of gamers have been begging people to not do,
and that's I've been playing the shit out of Star Wars.
I just saw, like, ancillary stuff about that.
What are people upset about?
Like, they can't play as Darth Vader or something?
Yeah, you buy the game for 60 bucks.
And, like, I literally... I bought bought the game i sat down to play it and i played for like five hours and
like i was with my buddy and i was like it was like the first day like the first day you could
play it and i went online and i went to go choose vader and i'm like oh vader's locked and it was
like go to the collection screen to unlock vader and I'm like okay so I played it you know a couple games online and I'm like I'll go unlock
Vader and the gang you know I had already beat the single player at this point and I go to Vader
and it costs like let's say 40,000 points to open it to unlock him and also 40,000 points to unlock
Luke uh like a total of 80,000 points after beating the game and playing for like five
hours i had like about 20 000 points and i was like what the fuck i was like how much do i have
to play to play as vader or luke and then i went online like heroes versus villains and this is
where it got ugly was i was the fourth person to join on a team of four and so ray yoda and uh And so Ray, Yoda, and Han Solo were all taken.
So I had to be Lando.
So I had to be Lando.
So I got the game and I'm like, I have to be Lando.
Why does Lando suck?
And he's pretty good at the game.
But I was just annoyed that I had to be him instead of choosing Luke or who are some other, Leia, Chewbacca.
Like I couldn't even choose them.
And I was like, this is ugly.
Like I'm limited.
And it's not just that.
Like I beat this game.
Like I should have people unlocked right away.
And not just that.
I'm going to have to put in all this time.
And I was with Amir and I was like, yo, how dumb is this?
He was like, that looks dumb.
I was like, yep.
Didn't think anything of it.
Woke up the next day. I saw the post on Reddit where this this guy's like look how dumb this is and i'm like yeah that's
dumb right i look and i see the top comment and i'm like oh my god amir look this has a thousand
down votes ea wrote back to the guy and this guy was like this is garbage and ea was like well we
want there to be a sense of uh pride and accomplishment sense of pride and accomplishment everyone's like you can buy you could buy your way there yeah what are you talking
about like 2100 hours or something like that yeah it ended up being 2100 hours or if you wanted to
unlock everything it would be like no it was 2100 hours no no it was 2100 estimated in spending to unlock everything or it would be like 4 000 hours to unlock everything
yeah it's like i i mean it's it's built into the progression system so they like pulled back on it
but the progression system is still there and it's just like not a fun progression system necessarily
but the fact that they added you can buy cards and not even just buy the thing it's you can buy
the chance to maybe get the card that you want for the person you play as so it's like gambling
on top of it it's literally three fuck-ups all in one mixed with the fact that they responded
on reddit which ended up being the ultimate worst downvoted comment history by like a hundred times over so they just really got destroyed here
and then and and need for speed is out and apparently need for speed is literally like a
slot machine progression system exactly like battlefronts and and and it's ultimately the
last one is it's play to win yeah so like that's where you lost that's where like gamers rabidly jump on because we've been
duped before i mean listen i bought horse armor in oblivion i bought that i spent 10 bucks we've
been there down that path before and and we could do it aesthetically but for this in in in this
case okay uh he's saying that need for speed is not the case i just saw on the front page of reddit
gaming it was like a slot machine of progression cards but like i don't know for competing online
when it's like when you when you pay to win that's where you know that's something that's
been accepted on mobile but but not on console gaming that that hasn't been accepted yet you know
it's all it's aesthetic stuff and i think that's what really made people go crazy on it. So is Vader like – so are all the characters kind of even?
Or is it like when you purchase Vader, he'll fuck up Leia or whatever?
If we both go in the game right now, you and I, and I'm like, one second, just give me a minute, and I spend $400 and buy cards and stuff and progress, then we play and we're equally matched i will beat you because i
spent money and that's just that's the pay to win that's the problem so like i watched some of the
i watched a good bit of the footage and like like the heroes in this game when you like access the
hero when you like power up enough or like it's your kill streak or whatever and you get to use
utilize one of the heroes it's like the hero would be in in the
movies you know it's like oh shit when you're darth maul you're fucking laying in shit to use
the heroes you can fuck people up yeah i mean you still need to be skillful but like the fact that
someone can select darth vader and other people can't or the fact that if you bought the like you
know the 110 version of the game you automatically get three legendary cards for Kylo Ren, which means that your Kylo Ren is way stronger than anyone else's Kylo Ren because you bought the epic version of the game.
It's the pay to win, and it's ugly because the game is fucking incredible.
I know you don't care much for Star Wars, but it does.
It's a beautiful game, and it's fun.
You get to play.
You get to experience that shit. It's a beautiful game. And it's fun. You get to play. You get to experience that shit.
It looks fucking incredible.
I've watched some pre...
I guess it was beta footage or something.
Whatever I was watching.
It looked so much fun to play.
It looked like you were playing the movies.
Yeah, exactly.
And the footage I was watching,
the guy was like the robot from the most recent movie or whatever.
That giant...
Whatever the thing is. From, is it New Hope?
No, not New Hope.
Rogue One, the big robot from Rogue One.
He was using, he had that thing activated.
Even that thing was crazy OP.
Like, I don't know, man.
It looked like a ton of fun, especially in 4K.
I was watching Jack Fraggs play a bit.
Yeah, oh, I love watching him play games.
He's so
he's so dirty i don't ever want to be i don't ever want to be against him you watch him he's
just like banging out headshots constantly i would like i went through a phase where i was
like watching his battlefield one headshot videos and i would just like fall asleep to that like
him just like using a world war one rifle blasting guys in the head from way
too far away was just so satisfying to me yeah lately i've been just obsessed with this rts game
like we um like we had him as a sponsor a while back the um the total war warhammer 2 people
and uh and so i just went out and bought the game because taylor liked the first one and now i'm
obsessed with like the youtubers who make the videos for it and and like it's a small group of players that play online so like I keep
running into the people whose videos I like and then they beat the fucking shit out of me oh is
that I know that happened once has that happened again yeah I ran into another guy that like this
is Warhammer 2 yeah yeah yeah total war Warhammer 2 yeah yeah I got beaten today by a guy named
Professor Pone who's oh it just came out a couple months ago.
Yeah, yeah. Graphics are excellent.
Very detailed.
I love, like, I've never been good at these
type of games, but, like, I just
really love dabbling in them.
I'm gonna probably pick this up.
Oh, it looks kind of like a mix of
Civ and a mix of
like, Warcraft, kind of.
So, like like the battle part
is just the war.
So like versus is like you just
get funds and then you spend
that on whatever units
you want anticipating what you
think they'll have. So if I see oh Kyle's playing
the dwarves I should probably
include a lot of anti-armor because dwarves
have a lot of anti-armor. Oh you guys play online a lot?
Yeah yeah versus. And then the Sith like right yeah yeah the campaign is the more civ aspect of
it like it's just you trying to conquer the world and there's like 30 different factions and all of
their campaigns are a little different and so i like playing those those help me those help me
understand like i remember i only played starcraft the first time when Starcraft two came
out and like,
I had to play the campaign to know what the fuck was going on.
Cause it like baby steps you through it.
So I always liked,
I always liked Blizzard games.
Blizzard is like,
I swear to God,
if they made a game revolving around math,
Blizzard can make like,
they can teach math to kids that have problems with math through their
video games i'm like every game that i've ever seen a type of game being like ah that's a game
i wouldn't really play i don't really know what the fuck they're doing and then i try like you
know the blizzard version of it i'm like i understand this genre entirely like basically
like you know heroes of the storm teaching me how to play League of Legends and Hearthstone teaching me how to play Magic.
The games that are really – they have some –
and the Star Wars MMO teaching me how to play World of Warcraft.
Games I would have never played.
There's just something addictive that they know.
They got it figured out.
I've gotten more and more into RTS.
I like the micro skills that are involved,
but also the sort of rockpaper-scissors aspect of it
that comes into play.
Certain factions just don't match up well
against other factions,
so you have to have a lot of game knowledge.
There's a bunch of different factions.
There's Dark Elves and High Elves and Lizardmen.
Do you guys like XCOM?
XCOM I've never played.
I've seen videos of it.
I've never played it.
Our friend Filthy plays that shit.
He's one of the better players at it, but I've never played it.
Is that an RTS?
Yeah.
Yeah, it's like those like you like.
It's like you like it's turn-based.
You have four guys.
You move each guy a certain amount of moving spots,
and then you have a percentage to hit the enemy that you're attacking.
Yeah, it's all on a grid uh but i've been playing
my switch lately just because i've been traveling a lot so i've been putting games on it and i got
uh i thought that rayman rabbids and mario kingdom game was like mario party i assumed because
rabbids is a party game and mario i just assumed if ubisoft and nintendo collaborated on a game it
would have been a party game since they both do it.
But it wasn't.
It's like a turn-based like XCOM style game.
So it's like kind of fucked up because like it's turn-based and like,
you know, Mario has like a bullet bill like blaster on his arm
or like a piranha blaster on his arm.
And like Luigi has like a sniper rifle.
And like it's just a fucked up kind of game and i
was i don't know i saw this i was like good for ubisoft good for nintendo like coming together
and making this like collabo game i i were making a movie again another assassin's creed another
mario brothers movie oh good do you remember how the first one ended yeah yeah she came back up she's got the gun
the huge gun and she's like come gotta go back man that i watched that was one of those movies
that like as a kid like you've only got so many vhs's in your collection and that was in the
collection so i re-watched it over and over and i was a huge mario fan like i had all the games growing up so like i fucking love that shit it's uh john leguizamo uh i can't remember who's
playing uh mario he's dead now um but but anyway it's fucking great dennis hopper is playing yeah
bob hoskins mario and dennis hop hopper as uh as koopa yeah i can't believe I've never seen this. Yeah, they did King Koopa for the movie.
Dude, it's so bad.
It's a really bad movie, but in a good way.
Yeah, I loved it.
When you were younger, though, it was perfect.
Yeah.
Basically, the idea is that when the asteroid hit that killed the dinosaurs,
it opened up this other dimension,
and you access it by going under the ground just outside of New York.
So the dinosaurs have been evolving all this time for 65 million years,
so now they look like humans.
But King Koopa has a de-evolution gun,
and he can de-evolve people back to their more dinosaur-like states.
It's outrageous.
Man, that's dumb.
Yeah, it's outrageous.
Sounds kind of funny, though.
You look at it as a comedy, and it's pretty good.
But I heard that they're making a new live-action movie,
and I hope it's more serious and less ridiculous.
Bob Hoskins said that was one of his biggest regrets ever.
He was doing that movie.
That's so funny. Well was doing that movie. Yeah.
Yeah.
Well, you know, rest in peace.
Died a few years ago, it looks like.
Yeah.
Couldn't handle the shame anymore.
That's what it was.
I feel like video games is going through a real transition time right now.
Like the pay-to-play thing uh yeah i feel like every single game that
comes out is ultimately like they don't feel like games anymore they feel like a product like i've
been like i've been getting handed this same product like over and over again and i love games
and i keep and i've actually been playing a lot of games lately like i'm
playing the shit out of shadow of war and assassin's creed origins is great and i kind
of just you know mario odyssey everything's cool but like there's something weird like
like when you played like metal gear back when metal gear came out it was like, yo, this is here because these people fucking care.
And this game is awesome because the guy making it puts his name all over it and he fucking cares.
Yeah.
And now, like, I get a game and I'm like, this game was made by 115 people that all desire to start their own indie studio and have their own super meat boy and are just doing this to make a paycheck and they're being influenced by a corporate overlord yeah who they're like all
right well we need to maximize profits over here maximize profits over there because like our our
parent company needs to earn this much money so they're just slamming games out and like i keep
like i don't know like i like i a part of me like i'm like i'm playing games i'm like i'm playing
games i like playing games but a part of me deep down is like i feel like it's different it's like
different these days it's not like and maybe it is like maybe it is a single player game i put it
on and there's like you know multiplayer or purchasable influences that are there where i'm
like you know leave me alone i'm playing the that are there where I'm like, you know, leave
me alone. I'm playing the single player at this moment. I don't know if that's what it is.
And it's definitely different from console and PC gaming. There's a huge difference there.
But I don't know, man. You know what? Like, I remember playing games on the same console.
Like, I got friends. I got controllers. where are those games you know yeah i got friends
over like i would you know hook up four controllers and play something but those games absolutely
exist the loss of split screen really sucked for like actual social gaming where you have a couple
friends over and you play mario party where you play you know halo split screen or whatever it is
like that was that was a blast when you played, like, four-player Halo
or you get two Xboxes hooked up and you play eight-player.
Like, that was great.
They really stopped that, like, what, eight years ago now?
Ever since the...
Yeah, it's...
There's a lot of things that have went backwards in gaming, it feels like.
Like, I mean, I love Total War, but I had to...
I don't know, I must have spent $100 on that game,
at least maybe $120 now to get everything unlocked,
and I'm still missing a couple of things.
So you buy the game for $60.
It comes with four factions.
The first game has dozens of factions,
and I was like, ah, well, when do the new factions come?
They're like, ah, don't worry.
Free DLC is coming out, like,mber 1st or whatever 6th and
i was like all right cool november 6th rolls around i try to download it and i still don't
have access to the factions like oh well you have to own the first game to get those factions well
shit you're telling me i have to purchase another 60 game i think it was marked down to 40 or maybe
30 yeah so i buy a 30 game to unlock all the factions. And then I look closer, and it's like, oh, but you have to buy the DLC for the first game
so that those unlock over here too.
So I'm buying all these $9, $8, and $12 DLC packs.
I think I've spent about $130 on that game now, something like that.
And I still don't have everything unlocked.
That sucks.
Yeah.
But I'm enjoying it.
In Battlefield, I always bought, like when Battlefield would come out,
and I would always buy the, because I'm a sicko,
I would like buy the full version on PC,
but I would get it on Xbox also to play with a couple of my buddies.
And I would always buy the, I think they're called the jumpstart kits or
something it was just like you pay a bunch of microsoft points and it unlocks all the guns
for the assault class i didn't want to go and like and like i i they're like it's tough because
that's pay to win i guess but at the same time like i value that i can pay a couple bucks and
get access to a gun that you know i normally have to progress
to and that's because you know my gaming time is short and i don't want to sit out there using like
a bunk ass you know ak when i want to get you know an m16 or whatever like i don't want to
be using the gun i don't want to use yeah uh yeah and that's where pub g's getting it right
like like there is that aspect where you can spend
money but it's for a mini skirt right it's for it's for a fucking coat you know the guns are
it's all aesthetic yeah i i like that that that a lot and i see your point with the uh
with the grinding it out thing especially when you own it on multiple consoles like we always
talk about how in modern warfare 2 they had these glitch lobbies where you could pay some
dude $20
who's got a modded console
and you hop in his lobby and it gives you literally
like 10 million XP
and it unlocks all the weapons, all the
camos, and you're just a 10th prestige
maxed out to the gills
and you just have everything. And you know, as a
video maker especially,
you don't want to grind it out.
I did that.
Yeah, we all did.
I think everybody did.
I think I paid for it maybe.
He wanted Microsoft points.
That's the level of fucking person I was dealing with.
Yeah, just give me the Microsoft points, man.
Give me Microsoft points.
I'm going to parlay that into something more, into Bitcoin.
God knows what he was doing with them.
We spoke about Bitcoin last
time I was on, right? Yeah, yeah.
We might have, yeah. Did you guys buy any?
No, no.
I'm not into any cryptocurrency.
Chiz definitely is.
Chiz is very into that.
I was reading some news today, and Chiz linked me
to an article where a couple of guys have
gotten hacked recently, and they've had like, one guy had like 50 Bitcoin stolen from today, and Chiz linked me to an article where a couple of guys have gotten hacked recently.
And they've had, like, one guy had, like, 50 bitcoins stolen from him, and another had, like, 70-something bitcoins stolen from him.
So that's scary stuff.
That's, like, half a million dollars.
Yeah, yeah, because bitcoins are, what, almost, like, $7,000 right now.
Yeah, one guy lost $900,000.
That's why you guys have one of these.
What is it? It's a hard wallet that way you put your bitcoin on this and it's not going to get
hacked and you just keep this uh on your chain like a wrapper no you could put it in a safety
deposit box or whatever but the last time i uh spoke to you guys i I feel like I was like, oh, Bitcoin this, Bitcoin that.
And we were like, oh, it's really high.
I think it was like, I look at Canadian money, so I don't know the amount American.
But it's pretty much almost doubled, I feel like, since the last time I was here.
Yep.
Yeah, it's at like $8,000, right?
Yeah, and I had said, I was like, yeah, just put in like $500.
You don't need to buy a whole coin if you don't want to buy a whole coin.
But like I'll tell you right now –
It's so frustrating.
I'll tell you right now, it's doubled, okay?
But it's $10,000 now, and it's going to keep going up.
Like it's going to double again.
So if you don't want to be like, damn, I could have had one Bitcoin or two Bitcoin.
Instead, you could be like, you know what?
I didn't put in the 500 then, but I'll put in 500 now.
It's still going to double.
Yeah, it's so frustrating because I was talking to my dad when it was at like 4,800, maybe 5,000.
And I was like, yeah, there's a thing called Bitcoin.
It keeps going up.
It's crazy.
He's like, well, I don't understand that.
And I'm like, well, I'm not very good at explaining it.
And I don't understand it very well either.
I'm explaining the algorithms to him and all this stuff and he's like well buy
us a couple and i was like ah i don't know i don't even know how to go about it and now it's
fucking like right at 10 000 or something crazy like that like it keeps or 7 000 us like it keeps
going up it's it's frustrating where do you go to buy one? QuadrigaCX.com.
The Bit Store.
You go to QuadrigaCX.com.
And I mean, if anyone's listening, this is what I would say. I'd say go to QuadrigaCX.com.
You get verified on the site, you know, so that you can then fund money to the site to buy Bitcoin.
Buy as much as you want or go to Coinbase, yeah.
Buy however much you want or go to coinbase yeah uh buy however much you want and uh then take it out
and put it on a on a hard wallet wherever mine is now like something like this and uh put that
in a safety deposit box and don't sell it yes don't sell it even if you're like oh my god i bought five hundred dollars of bitcoin and
now it's worth fifty thousand dollars i would still say not to sell it like i'm a firm believer
that one bitcoin today will be able to buy a house in the future you know and this is the one thing
this is the only thing is bitcoin might be aol bitcoin might be myspace there's a good
chance it's not facebook or it's not google but just buy into it understand it right now and then
you know you'll you'll be more prepared to jump to the next currency whatever it is you'll already
have you know some exposure to it i'm gonna do it i'm gonna just put just put a couple bucks in I think I'm going to
I'm not going to buy a whole bitcoin
I might, maybe I'll buy one bitcoin
let me put it to you this way
I kind of want to get some of the
like Quebelkop kept talking about Ethereum
like it should probably do that too
let me put it to you this way
bitcoin if
if every single person
in Canada decided tomorrow they wanted to buy one Bitcoin, there isn't enough Bitcoin.
Yeah.
So gold is valuable because we just value gold.
We're just like gold is beautiful and we use that.
And so, you know, gold is important.
And it's scarce.
Yeah.
And it's scarce.
Exactly.
Bitcoin also has a finite amount and
how scarce is it if every person in canada wanted one bitcoin that would not be able to do it canada
is not a very big country population wise so if you get your hand on one bitcoin now and bitcoin
becomes what it is destined to become then one bitcoin is extremely valuable if you're forward thinking about it what percentage
of a bitcoin can you buy let's go to tidbit you could buy a dollar i like it's called it's called
a uh a shatoshi or shatoshi i think oh they're fucking up not calling it a tidbit yeah they did
he did fuck up i need a marketing guy over there it It's a Satoshi, and I think it's.060s and a 1, I believe.
All right.
I'm not buying a Satoshi then.
You want to go in halves?
He's on a bit with me.
$3,500.
That's really not that bad.
Yeah, I might do that.
Go halves.
He's on a bit and we
both have our own tidbit oh 4200 bucks a piece that's my tv no no no yeah this is a tv we can
have and i'll enjoy that right away instead of doing what harley's because see i still don't
fully understand what it is and i'm just gonna be walking around with what what looks to be a
usb drive being like aha my future right here on this disc.
You put it in the same deposit box like you said.
That's very smart, forward thinking.
I'm going to do that.
I'll buy one and I'm going to do that.
I'm going to feel so fucking stupid if I don't because every day I keep feeling more stupid.
You're just – if you go and you put like $1,000 in it, you got some exposure to it.
You don't need to have that weird anxiety when people start talking about it like you're missing some boat.
And you're like, yeah, I put in on that.
I put in.
I remember when we had Boogie on the show.
This has been like maybe three, four years ago, and it just had – like took a dive down to like $230 or some shit like that.
And I remember thinking even then I was like maybe I should buy $5,000 worth of this shit
Did you know in the shade right now?
Yeah, I know I know people be two hundred eighty thousand three hundred thousand dollars now
I know of people who had Bitcoin because they like to buy on the Silk Road. They like to buy weed
That's why they had their Bitcoin
So when the Silk Road closed down like to buy weed. That's why they had their Bitcoin. So when the Silk Road closed down,
like, I know people that were like,
damn, I gotta get rid of this 4,000 Bitcoin
because what else am I gonna use this
shit on if the Silk Road is
closing? So they'd spend, like,
they'd buy a shit ton of weed, 4,000
Bitcoin, and then they'd smoke that weed
and then find out that they literally burnt
and inhaled, like, $120 million.
Yeah. Like Like what's the process of cashing it out into real money?
You've got to sell it.
You'd have to sell it.
People will always want to sell it.
But here's the thing, like don't.
You don't sell it.
Anyone who's sold it so far absolutely regrets it.
You don't sell it.
What do you – because like everyone i talked to
is mostly like into it and is like really really you know on the pro bitcoin side if there are any
detractors out there about it who are saying oh it's going to collapse it's going to it's going
to fall apart like what what's their argument for that i i don't know i I noticed that a lot of people that don't support it are people that like, you know, maybe work in a space where Bitcoin kind of neuters their job or something like that, you know, and they're like, oh, Bitcoin.
Yeah, we talk about it in my work. It's jack shit. Doesn't mean anything. The government doesn't care. It's can't pay your taxes. It's garbage, you know, but I don't know anything about it.
it's can't pay your taxes it's garbage you know but i don't know anything about it i i think at the end of the day like the the things about bitcoin that are things to be worried about
are things that i think of and like i don't need to be some asshole on the internet like i could
just be like you know if if you were at war with another country burning their money is extremely
useful like you could fuck up an economy by burning their money.
Well, what if burning the entire world's money
is literally in the computer world?
So I think once you put something in the computer world,
no matter how decrypted, blah, blah, blah,
at the end of the day, with the right enough power hacking-wise,
the complete destruction of it is a click away
the best website in the world anything if like you know we have the resources computer wise to
destroy anything else computer wise that's why like you know 500 million dollars of ethereum
went missing because some guy accidentally clicked the wrong thing and literally deleted
500 million dollars worth of Ethereum.
So, like, I'm saying where is the freakish aspect of it?
Like, I don't know, an EMP blaster or some sort of thing that, like, you know, takes off electricity.
Are we all really going to carry around our Bitcoin wallet, like, written out on, like, a 36 digit like string code like yeah it's just
i know so at that point we're in anarchy already it's all fucked up but i'm just saying like it's
if it's software it can be deleted and you know like if it's tangible it could be burnt but it
takes a lot more time and resources to burn all the money in the usa versus like
deleting all the cryptocurrency in the usa or some shit like that you know oh i can go to uh so i can
go to coinbase and can i use paypal to just purchase some bitcoin i believe not until 2019
paypal is not bitcoin so you'll have to use your Interac or your credit card for now.
Okay, so I want to use my bank account then, I guess, to do that.
Are you actually going to buy a full one?
So if you buy a Bitcoin, go download the blockchain app on your phone.
Download it.
I think then you'll be able to, if I understand correctly,
take a picture of the barcode or whatever your Bitcoin amount amount is i'll get chiz to walk me through it because
he's he's in the know yeah i i've got twenty thousand dollars because just kind of sitting
somewhere right now and it's just like honestly and if it's not gonna fuck up any investments like
no it's just sitting there if you have it like to play with, well, not to play with. No one has it to play with.
But put it flat and get two coins.
I recommend it.
And I know 8,000 seems high right now.
You could sit here and wait for another dip,
or you could find yourself looking at it when it's 12,000,
being like, I should have.
I'm going to buy a significant amount,
because I'm just tired of this.
Go buy 100k
oh i know that we don't have 100k to play with um but but i think i might buy 20 000 worth because
like i and just just let it sit there because here's the thing i feel like it's not i feel
it's not going to go significantly down and if i need that 20 000 i000, I'll sell it. You know, like it has to go down eventually. Right.
No, no, because it just dipped half of it. Like I literally told friends of mine that like,
at like, uh, I'm going to use Canadian numbers here. Sorry. I had like friends of mine at like 7,500. It's at 10,006. Now I'd like 7,500. I was like, yo, you got to buy, you got to buy.
It was like, you know, around the time when we were talking and you know people some did some didn't and then it dropped from like 7,500 to like four
like almost half and all my buddies were like what the fuck and i was like dude look i gotta
sell and i was like listen you just take it you buy it and you hold it it's a game and the game
is get as many Bitcoin as you can.
And the points are Bitcoin.
And just that's all you got to do is just hold it.
That's all you do.
And then it literally like I had buddies be like, no, it's done.
It's burning.
It's fucked up, blah, blah.
It's all.
And I was like, all right, whatever.
But literally, if you went and bought, I posted on my Facebook when it was at
like when I was at, you know, 5000, I went on my Facebook when it was at 4,000, like when it was at, you know, 5,000.
I went on my Facebook and I was like, yo, Bitcoin is on sale.
Almost 50% off.
Buy right now.
And like some people are like, nah, it's a burning house.
I'm getting out.
And anyways, now it doubled.
Like it's literally almost doubled since.
Like if you put 1,000 bucks in, you'd have like almost 2,000.
There's no other stock that really jumps like that.
It's not a stock, but nothing else really behaves like that.
And these other currencies, if you weren't willing to study it and look at it, there's other currencies there that are not worth a lot, but they're going up 100 times overnight.
There's lots of abilities.
Is that like Ethereum?
That's the newer one, right right there's a bunch of them you know like like i if you're gonna do this though because another
one because you you've sold me you've sold me because like like it's the regret like if if i
lost that money it really wouldn't be like a life change you could be like ah that that fucking sucks but like if i if that shit doubles then
i'm gonna be really really upset if if like now i could have taken if that if it could
have been forty thousand dollars by june of next year you know it's they they say it'll be a hundred
thousand 2021 that's pretty crazy maybe i should buy a bitcoin that that just means if you put in 10 000
now in 2021 it's 100 000 and that's a fucking sexy ass investment it's also basically like
you know to an extent gambling here and anyone listening i forget i'm on a podcast guys i'm the
bacon internet guy do not listen to me financially or anything. If this fucks your life up, that's on you.
Why would you listen to us about this?
They clearly said they didn't know what it was, and I'm trying to tell them.
But who the fuck am I?
Nobody.
So definitely don't put any important money on this.
But in my opinion, if you were going to plan a trip this year, I would personally, if I were in your shoes, cancel that trip and put it onto bitcoin instead yeah i'm gonna get my dad onto it too but i'm gonna i'm gonna tell i'm gonna show him like
the the little map of what this thing's been doing i bet he'll buy a bit to bitcoin yeah it just
seems it seems stupid at this point not to not to do it and even if you lose it like she has to say
good good because he knows the more you buy the more the price goes up and the more we talk not to do it. And even if you lose it, like she has to say good, good,
because he knows the more you buy,
the more the price goes up.
And the more we talk about this and pump it up,
the more the price goes up.
Like,
like that's,
that's literally how this shit works.
He's,
I,
I,
I gotta do it at this point.
All right,
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and join the movement see what Chiz said here.
I don't know.
Yeah.
That's, man,
Harley sold me on the Bitcoin thing.
I don't know why Chiz hasn't been selling me harder.
I blame Chiz for costing me. Chiz wants all the Bitcoins for himself.
We know it.
Chiz has cost me thousands of dollars at this point.
And not because he hasn't been nagging me enough.
Because he's been a bad friend about bad friend he's been a bad friend like if if i knew that you know they just discovered oils off the
and and on you know like mainland florida let's do a thing called oil can i put whales right on
business yeah like bp just found a new way to refine oil that's 100 sustainable or something they've got
artificial petroleum on lock and it's no uh no emissions like i fucking nudge you guys but by bp
jim's over there getting all the the cryptocurrency hoarding the cryptocurrency
not uh not educating us well enough and a good thing the internet bacon man came around and set
us straight.
Yeah, the Internet Bacon Man
who everybody should listen to his financial advice.
I'm not even kidding.
I'm definitely going to put it on
whatever device Chiz suggested.
Yours looks cool.
Can I see that again?
What is it?
It's a USB.
This is a Trezor.
I got this one on Amazon.
Yeah.
It's on Amazon Prime, so they'll ship it right away.
So you can just turn that on
and it'll say, you have this many Bitcoin.
You literally take it, you transfer your Bitcoin
onto it, and then you just put it in a safety deposit
box or a safe or whatever.
And actually,
I download the app blockchain yeah and that will
basically uh hold your bitcoin
you know i like this a lot and i'm i'm i'm pretty sure that there's like debit cards that you can
get and and like spend your bitcoin at will at a lot of different places.
But I don't think –
At real places?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
There's a lot of real places.
There, and that holds your Bitcoin.
I have two Bitcoin in this wallet right now.
Nice.
One day, at one point, those two Bitcoin were literally equivalent to the US dollar.
So literally like this was $2.
Now it's two Bitcoin, which is $4,000.
Do you keep all your Bitcoins, like, spread out just in case?
Well, what a lot of people do is, like, they'll have one wallet
because you can make as many as you want.
And people will have a wallet that they use to send.
If you want to send to someone, you know like for transactions let's say so like let's say
i have like two bitcoin that's my wallet and then i'll make another wallet and i'll send like you
know you know 0.5 bitcoin to that wallet and then in that wallet that's the one i'll use to share
with you to send and receive in case you know just to be safe from getting hacked you know or
even better than keeping it on two wallets is have a hard wallet also.
I wish there was a way I could take cash and get Bitcoins.
They have those at a lot of,
I'm sure you have it in the States.
They literally have like bank machines.
You go up to it and you pay cash and get Bitcoin.
Are you fucking kidding me?
No, that's what a lot of escorts do to to buy bitcoin
because like uh like back page you can't post an ad unless you're buying it in bitcoin apparently
so like like you know so so you're telling me that there have a lot of bitcoin so there'd be
no banks involved there would just be a machine. Thank you, Chiz.
You answered my question there.
Okay. I'm going to be buying some
Bitcoin.
Alright.
I'm going to be buying some Bitcoin.
Alright. Good deal.
I asked you this question months ago, Chiz.
Remember that hypothetical
question?
We had one of those And it's like, you know, like really like... Remember that hypothetical question? Well, maybe I'll find my local...
We had one of those conversations.
It's like, let's say hypothetically,
this has happened and I need to know how to fix it.
How would I hypothetically fix it?
And he's like, well, hypothetically,
you do this and this and that.
We had one of those conversations and I didn't get this answer.
I didn't know you could just stick money in a machine,
and then bitcoins would fall out of it into an electronic device,
and I could walk away with that in my pocket.
Well, I'm glad something's finally going the way of the prostitute, you know,
that they've got something going on.
Free the pussy.
Something for them.
Yeah, so Taylor and I had this idea.
We want to go on a vacation to Vegas and get prostitutes.
And then live stream with our prostitutes.
Like not fucking them or anything.
Maybe vlog with the prostitutes.
Maybe. We'll see where it goes.
Yeah, yeah.
It depends on how things go.
But like I want to...
You know that thing where you eat sushi off a naked Japanese chick?
I want to get a big fat chick and eat fried chicken off of her the more donations we get on, like, Chatterbait or something.
But you have to finish the wings or whatever.
Just imagine, like, a really big fat black chick smothered in hot wings.
Yes, and it has to be, like, really hot wings.
Like, to the point that the person is visibly uncomfortable.
Like, a little sweaty.
Like, they're not enjoying it.
We're like, we each have to see how many hot wings we can eat off of our respective naked chick.
I got five on it.
And no hands allowed.
Right?
Oh, no hands.
I'll donate five.
Yeah, I'll donate five.
There you go.
Just donate half a Bitcoin to us.
Yeah.
Yeah, Woody, by the way, it's been decided.
You just got to buy into Bitcoin a little bit. The guys will catch you up, though. But trust us, way, it's been decided you just got to buy it to Bitcoin a little bit
The guys will catch you up though, but trust us just make it happen right now
Yeah, and follow a lot of it, but it seems like a good idea. I put five grand in last week
Yeah, that was um. Did you do it during when it was five grand? I mean I wish yeah
No, it was like eight at the time. I think it was still eight. What is now okay eight still yeah yeah so um i don't know
really i i wanted by i was gonna diversify bitcoin and then like maybe three of the alt coins
and i've been doing my research figuring out what the pros and cons of the different ones were so i
could make an educated decision and uh then i was like all right let's start buying and the i had
to open a new account because i lost the email to my old Bitcoin account.
The most you could put in was five grand, so that's where I am.
Board me over your diversification plan because I'm going to put a little bit of money in there.
Oh, I'm sure it's boring and complex.
That's not it.
Okay, there's two parts of it.
One, I barely know what the fuck i'm
talking about chis knows what he's talking about i would hate to influence somebody with my level of
like you know whatever crypto coin idiot why yeah guys don't listen like honestly he runs a
minecraft service not even right yeah i tell don't listen to us i tell dick jokes on the internet He runs a Minecraft service. Not even, right? I'm the bacon guy.
Don't listen to us.
I tell dick jokes on the internet.
But really listen to us.
I tell dick jokes on the internet.
Do not take your financial advice, especially around crypto coin.
But anyway, so my thought was I'd put half into crypto coin.
And then maybe like, I don't know, take the other half, divide it into thirds across.
Like, I have to look at them now.
One was like ETH.
I probably mispronounced that to give you my level of expertise.
Ethereum.
Ethereum, yeah, yeah.
Ethereum.
There was the Chinese Ethereum, which I was looking at.
There was Smeagol.
I didn't look at Gollum.
And then there was, like Ethereum does contracts.
And then there was another one that did something.
You know what? I don't know what the hell I'm talking about.
No worries.
I don't expect you to know
what they do or anything, but it sounds like you did
a bit of research. Like 10 hours.
Yeah, so I want
to steal that 10 hours of research you did
and just tell me where you put
the money and how you diversified it percentage-wise.
I want you to do that copy chis copy chis not me all right i don't know what i'm doing
i'm gonna tell you later how much money i'm going to go out on a limb and say that that
chis is just going to tell you to buy only bitcoin is that what you're going to say chis
he won't uh i bet he'll tell you to say about half Bitcoin. Absolutely not.
I want Chiz to
give me... You're not getting 5%
either, you fucking...
You're the real Jew.
Jesus, Chiz.
I'll take 5%.
Oh, yeah.
Harley's a Jew, but you're a half.
You probably got to keep on right now.
He wrote Neo in there.
Neo was one of the ones I was looking at hard,
but he wrote Boo on it.
I don't know.
Look, yeah, please don't copy me.
I'm not.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Maybe future me.
Scratch that.
Yeah.
Cheers.
I'm going to tell you later how much I'm going to put in.
Yeah, yeah.
Give me a little portfolio advice.
And then send it to me too.
Harley, have you invested in Bitcoin already?
You get 1% if I make a million.
What?
Have you already put some money into the cryptocurrency?
Yeah.
Oh, good.
I hope it was a while ago.
It's showing my hard wallet that came in the mail like two days ago.
Mine's in the mail.
The ledger thing?
Yeah, I got this one.
I got this one.
It's called a Trezor.
Okay.
And yeah, I'm just going to transfer it on.
Did you get the one that Chiz likes?
Yes.
It's called Ledger.
It looks like it's in the same class as yours.
Apparently, the deal is, and this you can take advice from me on because it comes straight from Chiz.
If you leave your money on the internet, like in these crypto exchanges and such,
then you run the risk of someone cracking
your account and taking all your money and it's not like we're also the company going under and
stuff like that thank you yeah yeah so yeah the smart people put it on these devices so i literally
bought a device much like the one harley just showed and a fireproof safe and i'm going to
take that and i'm going to put it in another location.
And, uh, and then, cause like I, I aspire.
So in the loft, in the barn.
Yeah.
So I'm going to have that thing in like a sealed fireproof safe and then the sealed fireproof safe in another place.
And I'm going to label it with how to access it.
Like in case I die or something.
And Jackie, Jackie should find it like in a Zi die or something and jackie near the bat jackie should
find it like in a ziploc bag inside the case being like oh shit you know there's x in here
i know i know it's not like a real benefit of it but it is kind of interesting about bitcoin that
like you can die and take it with you like if you have you know uh a million bitcoin and you die and you don't pass it on like
that bitcoin is gone like that bitcoin is gone like like never to be recovered that's another
reason why the price used to go up kings used to want to be buried with their their treasures they
wanted to have it and you know in in this scenario like i mean they technically can
be buried with their bitcoin and no one else would get it like you move there and then that
take the king's treasure and write them a check more valuable and bury them with the check that
would be more it's it's funny that nobody does that anymore can you imagine like like trump
being like and i would be buried with all $4.1 billion that I have.
It's like you can't even.
Because you can't even liquidate it.
You can't even.
I take all his assets.
He doesn't have to sell all his hotels.
Take all his assets, write him a check for $4.1 billion,
bury him with that, and then he's set.
Yeah, if he ever wants to cash it,
then we'll handle that when we get there.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it exactly that's the move but uh but yeah so i'm i'm easing my way into bitcoin
apparently i can't buy another five grand until 30 days or something but go to a different exchange
that's it well go on quadriga i opened a support case asking for access to my other account.
And you get more privileges with an older account that has exchanges in it.
So I have another account that has dozens of, I don't know, 100 purchases or something.
And it'd be several years old.
So if I get credit to that account, then all of a sudden the sky's the limit.
What were you buying with it?
I was receiving Bitcoin payments at WoodyCraft.
And the email address to that one is one that I don't have anymore.
So I'm like, oh, fuck.
Even though I have the login, because I haven't used it in a while,
they want me to confirm it from the email they send me, which I can't do.
So this must be boring. But they say hey open another account use
the same like bank use the same phone number use the same stuff so that we
know you're the same guy and then open a support case which I did and they
haven't seemed to address the case yet
probably really happy that you were taking Bitcoin at WoodyCraft because at the time, they probably were way less valuable.
No, I'm really not.
I converted them into cash because I didn't trust Bitcoin.
But it's not as like, look, I don't look back at my WoodyCraft money and think not enough.
Yeah, I mean, it could have been better i'm sure there were
deals and games like that look it wasn't like uh if i had a 20-sided die i rolled an 18 i don't
look at that and say ah fucked up no it was fine i did okay yeah i was good chis just pointed out
that you know there's there's that hope that there may be a nugget of uh there's a there's a there's
a tidbit as I call them in there
that has matured
I don't remember the specifics but
we found a bank account of mine a couple years ago
when we were going through a bunch of stuff
and it was like holy shit
there's like $2800 in there
$2800
cool alright
put it over here in the other bank account
this is embarrassing
this happened to me this week it's like that cool all right put it over here in the other bank account this is embarrassing i'm sorry
this happened to me this week 20 in your pocket it's like that but a hundred times better i've
got this so this week this is literally like last night or the night before um i have this notion
that the stock market's not going to keep going up that we're near the peak and uh on top of that
if you're going to need that
money soon, then you're not supposed to have it in something volatile like stocks. So I'm like,
Hope is literally in college. We'll be paying her next semester in like, what, six weeks or
something. And I have her college account in stocks. This is stupid. So me thinking I can
time the market like an asshole and like a good person knowing that I'll be selling
it soon. I was like, I should just dump this while it's high. And here's the deal. Like many years
ago, I wanted to put it in the S&P 500. It outperforms 85% of mutual funds. That's the deal.
It's been the stat. It's true. It was true 30 years ago and it's still true today. So at the time, I didn't have a big enough account balance to invest in their S&P 500 fund.
So I put it in the science and technology fund that they also offered and ignored it.
Anyway, I check its performance yesterday.
And over Hope's lifetime, it has done twice as well as the S&P 500.
It was that one in six that actually outperforms the S&P 500. It was that, like, one in, what is that, one in six,
that actually outperforms the S&P 500.
And I was like, ah, nice!
Look at this fat fucking college account
I haven't been paying attention to.
I'll just turn this into cash.
And it's like a year and a half of college at UNC.
So, yeah, and she's got a couple of college accounts, but that one was
just like, holy shit, got fat.
That's nice.
Yeah.
I found a lot of money
just recently. I didn't know a group.
I'm literally going to do what Harley suggested.
I'm going to buy a couple
bits, bitcoins,
and I'm going to put it on that device
and I'm going to stick it in a safe deposit box and I'm
just going to leave it there. And if I ever get to
need that... That's your kid's house.
If I ever get to need that $20,000
I'll fucking liquidate
it. I don't
think Bitcoin's going down, but again
I'm stupid. I don't know anything.
I've tried to explain to two
different people. Here's the thing. When you put
it in there and it starts to go down,
even if it goes down to 10 cents, you keep it in there.
Yeah.
It stays in there.
I'm just going to leave it there.
It's not for you.
You may as well keep it.
It's not for you.
The future.
Harley said it last time he was on the show.
It burned into my brain.
He was like this.
Imagine back in the day you had gold and the money was in gold.
And then they said, no, no, no.
What you really want is this paper.
And it's a proxy for the gold.
It's backed by gold.
And then they say, no, no, no.
It's actually backed by silver now.
But you still want this paper.
This paper is the thing you want, nothing liquid.
Now it's not backed by a goddamn thing.
But this paper is the way that you want your money.
You don't want gold. You want this paper. the way that you want your money you don't want
gold and material you want this paper and now they say no no no what you want are really complex
algorithms those are the things that you know what actually it was yeah it's true because like you
know like like what i was saying before like gold doesn't have a value other than we the people
love gold we love gold. Is that true?
We love gold.
We value gold.
There's not a lot of it, so it's rare, so there's a value to it.
It has industrial, scientific uses, medical uses.
Yeah, yeah.
So ultimately, it has values attached to multiple things,
but it was consensus-based, we love gold.
So we went from that to a a government controlled currency like it's money
it's not a consensus based it's not like you know this is how much we value it we're just like it is
what it is but bitcoin is back to what it used to be it's consensus based people are like this is
important this is valuable i'm not really sure you know the the use of blockchain to a deeper extent but
apparently like blockchain is how they're going to archive all of our news in the future and
and and and you know there's like secrets to the internet within this within blockchain and like
you know mastercard and and credit card companies are like patenting their own blockchain technologies
and you know there's just like a big thing there
it's kind of like when you say shit about the internet back in the day and you used to talk
about it it probably sounded outlandish to people where it's like you can watch any show whenever
you want from anywhere in the world while also having a video phone call you'll be able to see
people in video and like that shit was like outlandish.
So I was a tech guy when the internet was first happening, right? So me, I was like,
oh my God, the internet's the greatest thing. It's the new publish, uh, printing press. It's
going to change the world, et cetera. But there were a lot of people betting that it was the next
CB radio. Like, oh, people go into these chat rooms, they talk to each other. They will soon
realize the typing to each other is not as nice as talking.
So it's a CB radio.
It's going to follow the same course.
People don't know CB radio got really popular in the 70s.
Like even moms and stuff were on CB playing trucker.
And then that wore out.
And people were saying that's AOL's future, right?
That's the internet's future.
It's just chat rooms and then it's going to die. And now Facebook is like a major part of lots of people's lives. Reddit,
YouTube, people follow YouTube. It's just like, hey, you know, I like Woody. I wonder what he's
up to now. And yeah, so. And people also are always like, oh, I don't know. It's a bad thing.
Like, you know, I heard China banned it. And it and it's like yeah china tends to do that with really awesome things like google google and amazon you
know like they spent years saying you can't have more than one kid until they're like oh not not a
good idea like and then they changed it and and so like at the end of the day it's like almost a sign
for the potential aspect of and then it's like you can't pay taxes with it. And it's like, so you convert it to real money
to pay your taxes whenever you need to.
But, you know, like, listen, it's a value.
It's got a value.
It's consensus-based.
And even though it's not the best technology,
like, you just know there's people out there
buying shady shit like guns and stuff like that.
And that's not a good thing,
but that's going to happen anyways. And if and if like the shady markets are going to adopt this and use it it's going to it's going to
leave its value high it's going to stay there and you know the fact that the government doesn't like
it is the beauty in itself of it people will be printing guns like are people already already
printing guns right that leads like i saw something in the news about it. Did you see the thing where NPR
took a little slice of my video
and did a thing on homemade guns?
No, I didn't see that.
What kind of gun did you make?
Two years ago, I was doing daily vlogs, and in an effort
to make something interesting, I made a gun.
And there's not much to it.
I bought two black pipes at Home Depot
with an end cap, and then I grinded
one so that it could slide over,
right? Oh, I remember that. Yeah. Oh, maybe you saw it. And in the black pipe, you put like a nail
or a screw. I think I had a bolt and I sharpened it and it would hit the primer on the shotgun
and shoot on a shotgun shell and shoot it out. Super easy to make a little bit of welding and
drill a hole and you've got yourself a homemade one single shot shotgun and npr did
this story which to me was a little bit biased they were debating on whether it was like had
an agenda at all but it starts off with saying like at least two guns in the last mass murder
had homemade weapons involved and because he wasn't able to buy guns and these are now to
woody's channel yeah and they called him like uh i forget dark cloud guns kyle do you know what they called them did you did you run across it ghost ghost
guns thank you yeah they called them ghost guns and apparently i made a ghost gun because it's
not tracked or not no it's legal it's legal as long as it's long enough and mine was like 30
inches like it was not a close call it was totally legal, um, Kyle, you made a look 30 inches is clear,
right?
Needs to be 16.
Oh,
okay.
It was a penis joke.
Yeah.
I was like 30 inches is legal.
So,
but anyway,
I was,
I was surprised the first time that it shot and worked.
So they,
like,
they just played my audio and they hear it go pop.
And I'm like,
Oh,
it worked.
It totally worked.
And that's like what they grabbed from me out of NPR.
But this whole 3D printed gun thing, I feel like is overplayed because it's been weapons are fairly easy to make.
And the fact that there's a new way to make something that was already easy to make to me is not that revolutionary.
And the fact that there's a new way to make something that was already easy to make, to me, is not that revolutionary.
I think it's the kind of thing that people who don't know much about guns in the first place are more likely to be afraid of the 3D printed guns.
Because they're imagining that you're just quickly printing an AR-15 or whatever they saw on the news with the under barrel chainsaw.
If you guys saw that ridiculous news story.
But they don't realize, these are little plastic
not, most of them are single shot,
I think, at this point. You could 3D print an AR-15.
A real AR-15?
I haven't seen anything like that. I'm sure you could. You just
print all the components and make it.
Maybe.
So the registered parts, the lower.
All the other parts are just
parts.
If you want to buy a parts you know it's like buying
if you want to buy a parts kit it's like buying an oil filter or something it's in no way
regulated so you just need to 3d print the part that's a gun which is the lower with an ar-15
and then you can you know if you want to buy an ar-15 barrel nobody's tracking that or regulating
that you just buy it let Let me ask you, though.
Like, the lower, it can't be shit, right?
Like, just today I was playing with a 3D-printed fidget spinner,
and it was the worst fidget spinner I've ever seen.
It didn't even have ball bearings.
Was it one piece?
So, you know, it's the typical, like, three or four,
you know, three on the ends and one in the middle.
And then each of the little things that should have been ball bearings were just loose pieces of plastic.
And Colin's spinning it.
He's like, this one's slow because it was shit.
It was the world.
It didn't have ball bearings.
It was just like circles in the fidget spinner thing.
And he thought it was neat, but it was slow.
bearings it was just like circles in the fidget spinner thing and he thought it was neat but it was slow so if i made a 3d printed ar-15 lower is there any like doesn't it need to work well
like is the lower that um so so it there's a lot of different kind of 3d printing technologies
and the the kind of material that that you're extruding varies greatly in the strength and
quality and there's there's there's a lot of different kinds.
But there are ones that are more substantial and will actually hold up and work.
So, you know, some of the plastic is really,
it's different materials for different uses, right?
Just like everything else.
You know, there's how many different kinds of plastic are there,
depending on if you want to make a milk jug or,
I don't know if you've ever seen those plastic daggers
that are actually really effective.
Like, you know, there's various different kinds of of plastic and now they have the 3d printers that are
uh you know using a metal uh wire in there too to like reinforce it like there's uh there's metal
in there um i don't know a lot about the 3d printed weapons but i i remember one of the
early ones suffered from issues where it was like okay the life of this weapon is like 15 shots or something like that.
But I'm sure that that's going to just rise exponentially
as 3D printing technology advances.
Maybe I'm not giving enough credit.
I bought a 3D printed GoPro mount that didn't last one flight
because it was shit.
And I just think of 3D printing as homemade
manufacturing.
Made in China
is to me a better
stamp of quality than 3D printed
at home.
It's not there yet. It's like VR games now.
I was going to say, I've got that
3D printed magazine for my
paintball gun and I've dropped it on concrete and stuff and and it's big and bulky and heavy, but it works.
I saw a video the other day where a guy took aluminum cans and melted them down
and made himself an aluminum lower.
I mean, if you want to talk about making guns, you can buy an 80% finished AR-15 lower,
which is 80% of the way done.
Then all you need is a milling machine.
I don't regulate milling machines.
I fucking got one. You want it? It's for sale.
Just mill it out.
There's plenty of specs online. How much are you selling it for?
I don't know. I don't know what it's worth.
It's a grizzly.
How much is a good milling machine?
It's a milling lathe, actually.
It does both. I've is a good milling machine? It's a milling lathe actually. It does both.
And I've got a big milling
drill press and I've got a milling lathe
and then I've got a big
48 inch industrial
lathe. I'm not that serious about it
but if you had pictures I'd want to see them.
I'll take some pictures. I'm going to go over there
in a couple days. You'll have to anyway.
My dad wants the bandsaw. I've got a badass
bandsaw over there.
It's legit.
Well, then your dad's right.
I have a lot of good tools
and I have a medium bandsaw
and it's the one where it was like,
I should have gone all the way on that one.
The bandsaw.
Yeah.
Bandsaws, you know what?
It used to be in my garage
when I lived in Apex
and we would open every Christmas present
with that fucking bandsaw.
You know those blister packs that like every year you hear about how many people went
to the ER trying to open blister packs I just like slicing the tops with the bandsaw is the
best way to open those goddamn terrible things it's I loved. But now it's in the stable. It's a walk.
Have you ever cut yourself on one of those blister packs? On the actual edge of the plastic?
Nothing ruins a present opening process as much as
gashing your thumb open on trying to open the
batteries for something else. You need to outbid Kyle's father
on a gigantic bandsaw, apparently. You'll be fine.
I do. Or scissors.
Scissors are a little cheaper.
He's going to give it to him.
Easy to outbid his dad.
Easy to outbid. Self-lubricating.
I mean, it's massive.
So it cuts metal.
Yeah, it cuts metal.
You lift one end up and the jaws are enormous
Like I've cut a settling tanks in half with it
Like when I made my bowling ball mortar like that's what I used to cut the acetylene tank in half
But I've also cut solid maybe 10 14 steel like a solid chunk of it to make the the
Blasting base cap of that mortar and it took a while, but it'll do it.
The blade's that wide.
I don't know, that fucking long.
I got it out of the basement of this building
in Atlanta. The building was so old
it had dirt floors in the basement.
It had one of those old freight elevators you see in the movies
where on the way up, we were like,
are we going to die?
Are we going to die in this thing?
It's like a Tower of Terror vibe.
I like places.
Yeah.
How did we get on to this topic?
Oh, single shot guns.
Reprinting guns.
Yeah, so ghost guns and stuff.
Yeah, I don't know.
They pictured me on ghost guns.
I featured me.
Seems like I'm stretching it.
That's the way I told my family, though.
I got featured on NPR.
Again.
You did a whole piece on me.
And how I'm a threat to my surrounding.
Yeah, my daughter.
Because I make pipe rifles.
She, like a lot of girls her age, is a little liberal at the moment,
more so than me.
And she was just, it was like, yeah, I'm featured on NPR.
And she's like, really?
That's so exciting.
Tell me more.
Yeah, it was the thing about ghost guns and this thing i made in the backyard it was just like
i don't know like i can imagine telling a conservative like i gave step-by-step instructions
for aborting children and and like oh god this is not not what she was hoping for you need to scare
a little conservative conservativism in or here's what you do you show up in the parking garage of her school ski mask
angry voice and you mug her you take you take her purse you steal you steal all the good plan thus
far and then she's gonna come come back all like teary-eyed and like traumatized a little of course
and you're like you know if you had a weapon you not only would you have solved this problem but
you you'd have felt secure.
Don't you worry. We're going to get a law and order
president in here to take care of this stuff.
Exactly.
Can you do an
angry black man voice? Because that's important.
Because you want to instill a little racism in her
at the same time.
That's one accent I don't know how to do.
Hey, you jive turkey!
No? No, keep going.
I'm from Shanghai!
I've been hanging out in Shanghai!
Shanghai!
I was going from...
Mine was from Airplane.
Hey, you jive turkey!
You ain't got no sense here, dark alleys!
I'm gonna mug you!
Yeah, I don't know.
Dad?
Nah! I'm gonna bug you yeah yeah can't you tell I'm supposed to be black but honestly what are you not even close Ain't got no sense anyhow.
Ain't got no sense anyhow.
You're just saying like southern things.
Ain't got no sense anyhow. These are literally lines from the movie Airplane.
The woman, she only spoke jive.
So they had to come.
Another lady could speak to them and they translated.
Anyway.
That's right before they have like the calm down
you know and everybody's in line you know with their weapons and their maces and that is such
an underrated fucking hilarious movie i wonder how it'd stand up but i saw it as a kid and loved it
does adult woody like it as much i wonder i liked it both of them are good airplane one and two are
good hmm i like the we my friends and i would do the drinking problem joke again and again I liked it. Both of them are good. Airplane 1 and 2 are good.
I like the... My friends and I would do the drinking problem joke again and again.
Because when your little repeated jokes just get better.
The drinking problem.
Throw it all over the place.
Did you happen to catch the...
There was a Norm MacDonald joke on the front page of Reddit today.
It was him telling the Dirty Johnny joke.
No, I haven't heard the Dirty Johnny joke.
I think I've told it before, but it's like the teacher's having a project where each student tells a story, and there has to be a moral behind the story.
And so the first girl says, you know, my dad works at the hatchery, you know, and he was coming back home with eggs one day and he had to put all the eggs in one basket and the cart was bumping up and down and all the eggs broke.
And she said, well, what's the moral to that one?
She said, well, don't put all your eggs in one basket.
Wow, that's a very good moral.
I like that a lot.
Good, good job.
Next kid stands up.
My dad works at the hatchery, too, as many of our fathers do.
Thank God for the hatchery.
We'd all be lost.
One day, my dad knows that chickens come from eggs.
He was counting up how many chickens he had to sell.
He counted the eggs along with the chickens and bouncing along.
His eggs broke and he didn't have enough chickens to sell.
What's the moral of that one?
Don't count your chickens before they hatch.
That's a great moral. That's very good.
And then Dirty Johnny raises his hand.
The teacher's like, oh, God, I don't even want to call on this guy,
but I took an oath to teach these children.
All right, Dirty Johnny, what's your story?
Well, my story's about my Uncle Terry.
He didn't work in no hatchery.
Matter of fact, he didn't like people who work at the hatchery.
My Uncle Terry was in Vietnam.
He gets disability now.
He wasn't well-liked over in Vietnam. As a matter of fact, one day he woke up, and his whole platoon had abandoned him.
He was just there in the weeds, laying there.
He woke up, and they'd left him with nothing but three bottles of Jack Daniels
and a pile of weapons and munitions.
But the first thing he did was he downed one of those bottles.
He figured, if I'm going to go out, I'm going to go out drunk.
He picked up his machine gun, he picked up his handgun, a few grenades,
and he started walking, drinking that second bottle of Jack
Daniels, and he came upon a village.
And as drunk as he was, he didn't know if this was the VC, the enemy, or if this was
one of the villages he was supposed to protect.
All he knew is that he had hate, hate in his heart.
So he took his machine gun, and like a farmer cutting hay, he started in an arcing fire
just firing into the village, killing every man that stood before him.
The men fell before him like hay in front of that farmer with the scythe.
The women fell as well.
He killed all the women, and I'm ashamed to say it, but he killed all the children too.
And when he looked at what he'd done, he noticed that his pants were wet.
He touched his pants and realized he'd pissed himself, and he felt shame, felt very ashamed. And he touched it again and realized it wasn't urine at all.
It was ejaculate.
And he felt proud.
Felt proud of what he'd done there.
And he's just, dear God, Johnny,
what could the moral to that story possibly be?
He's, well, you don't fuck with Uncle Terry
when he's been drinking.
He does so many misdirection jokes i love it he is like his twitter when he's not live tweeting
golf matches is absolutely hilarious because like most of his tweets it'll be like great putt
it's like i don't know what the fuck he's talking about or like he's commentating something clearly
but uh have you heard like the moth joke that he does
on conan where he like it's it's so long and uncomfortable that you can tell conan as a late
night host is sitting there like oh my god like we're three minutes into this monologue of a joke
and norm's just over there taking he knows it too like he knows where it's gonna go but he he's
actually he's one of my favorites. He's so good.
He is.
That joke took him five minutes to tell.
I saw him do stand-up in Ottawa, and he went on stage.
It was the first thing.
And it's just his delivery.
I won't do it as well as him, definitely not.
But he came out on stage, and everyone was clapping and screaming,
yeah, Norm.
And just as the audience applause were just dying down,
someone yelled out, make Dirty Work 2.
You know that movie Dirty Work?
Yeah, yeah.
It's a great movie that he made.
It's like his only movie, but it's incredible.
And someone yelled up in the audience,
like, make Dirty Work 2.
And his first words, he looked at the audience, he goes, what?
Like, now?
It's so good. first words just to be honest he was what like now good like it just literally like brought down
the house right away i suggest you watch dirty work by the way i'm kind of jealous oh yeah i'll
have to check it out is it already laying in the movie yeah yeah yeah i've seen that he's he's like
uh he's just one of those people where everything he says has the cadence of being
funny you know no matter what he says i was on a skype with him once for like a tom green oh that's
awesome podcast thing yeah and uh i actually like doing with you guys better than them though um but
i was on this like podcast thing at one point, and it was Norm and Tom Green.
And I was with my buddy, and they could see us.
And it was just like a fan call-in question.
It's not like a setup like this.
And so my buddy knows Tom and worked on the show.
So we got to call in, and it was with him and Norm MacDonald.
And he had mentioned, I forget what the question was, but I was just there.
And he said something. He was like, well but i was just there and he said something he
was like well this and that and he said a funny joke so we all laughed and he was like this and
this and it was a funny joke we all laughed and he was like and this no because chris farley's dead
and looked like right at the camera and it was delivered in like the exact cadence of everything
and like and it was actually very funny he was like and definitely not that because
chris farley's dead and like stone cold stare at the camera we both just started laughing
and he was like just straight face dead serious like it's his friend and we're laughing now but
it's also norm so it's still funny it was just like semi-embarrassing like but
he's the best he's one of the best i i think arty was always tells the the story about how like he
got terrible press after when dirty work came out i think his like hometown newspaper said that he
had all the charisma of a of a date rapist and he was like really down about this. And I think it was Norm that said to him,
well, that's not so bad.
A date rapist has to have a lot of charisma.
He's got to get him out on the date first.
That is the most charismatic type of rapist I can think of.
Right?
Right?
And there goes my political career.
I mean, you've gotta
differentiate the different kinds of rapists
in the categories
do you wanna look at this
do you wanna look at this North Korean thing
or are you more interested in
this man who's a flat
earther who's built his own rocket
here and I'm
hoping and fucking praying that he's
going to get
inside of this rocket let me let me chis linked it earlier but I'll relink it
once I get this out of the way if you look at the rocket it looks like
something from Looney Tunes it looks like the fucking Roadrunner and and
coyote would be this was like an Ac Acme rocket that the coyote would use to attack the roadrunner.
Look at this thing.
This guy's a goofball.
It's got a cockpit.
He's a limo driver.
I think this thing cost him like 20 grand.
He's not bad at painting.
Oh, come on.
I feel like he has an eye for it.
You know where the highlights go and, yeah.
Seeking to prove that a conspiracy of astronauts fabricated the shape of
the earth a california man intends to launch himself 1800 feet high on saturday shit in a
rocket he built from scrap metal did it say 1800 feet 1800 feet all right i know he could paramotor
and get there and survive right but what i was going to say is I've been to 6,000 feet several times in a, you know, lawn chair.
The earth looks flat from 6,000 feet, I can tell you.
Wow.
And I looked.
Assuming the 500.
I was curious.
I was like, not that I think the earth is flat, but I was like, you know what?
I want to see the curvature of the earth.
I want to see it. Like, I want to know. So I start looking carefully, you know what? I want to see the curvature of the earth. I want to see it.
Like, I want to know.
So I start looking carefully, you know?
Like, not through a camera, just with my own naked eyes.
And you cannot see the curvature of the earth at 6,000 feet.
It's not there.
It says that assuming that the 500 mile per hour, mile long flight through the Mojave Desert does not kill him, Mike Hughes told the
Associated Press that his journey into the Atmos Flat, as he calls
it, will mark the first phase of his ambitious Flat Earth
space program. Hughes' ultimate goal is a subsequent launch that
puts him miles above the Earth where the 61-year-old limousine driver hopes to
photograph proof of the disk we all live on he says quote it'll shut the door on this ball earth
how many miles because you can go two miles in a paramotor like it's not even a big deal i could
do it tomorrow i might do it tomorrow we're all missing the the the fact that you can go seven miles in a
fucking airliner like like just go to like go to the airport plunk down a couple hundred dollars
suck right like that's my issue with the airliner i feel like they're they're like curvy windows and
they're double layered and there's usually like moisture in between them i don't get the view i'm looking for in an airliner better than from this acme rocket because his view is going
to be he's gonna die this is gonna when this uh when you're listening to this on saturday if
you're not a patron you fools then this guy is probably already dead this guy's probably already
fucking when's he doing i really hope he dies he says saturday i hope he dies i hope he explodes and we get video of it forgive me if you said it already where is he
launching from mojave uh so that's um okay and uh uh the um nevada i i hope he gets it on video
oh someone will yeah he's a major fuck up if he didn't it's almost like what's the point if
it's not gonna be a video yeah but i i i can't get past like the stupidity of it for 1800 feet
right like you could get drone test flight like there are a lot of things you could get that high
easily right i mentioned paramotor but that's just one thing. I bet there are drones that you can get that high.
Model airplanes
and other things.
Is he allowed to do this? He's going to get killed.
Is he allowed to do that?
I guess so. Amateur rocketry isn't that well.
But if he's going to be in it, it has to weigh
less than 255 pounds.
I don't know anything
about all that, but it's got a
cockpit. He says he's doing it.
Good luck to him.
But this is his test flight.
This is, you know, to make sure he'll survive, I guess.
But his next flight, he plans to go miles, he says.
So I'm guessing he's wanting to go to like, there's so many.
I'm not even going to start talking about the oxygen needs when you're going above like 25,000 feet or whatever.
Like this is retarded what he's
doing i really hope he dies because the people who believe this genuinely believe it enough to
like build a rocket they should die like let's thin the herd a little bit they should die
he shouldn't be reproducing is it made of scrap metal yes does it say that in the article i want to highlight it does in the first paragraph
or so yeah it's it's outrageous in a rocket he built from scrap metal i i wish he hadn't painted
it i wish there was literally like curve stop signs and shit like yield signs you know like
they take the triangle and make a flat panel. You know how you alternate equilateral triangles? Yeah.
Yeah, if it just said like...
I just like...
I don't like...
I mean, if he wanted to go up to see for himself how the Earth is, fine.
But going up there doesn't prove the Earth is flat.
The way it says it's about to launch himself in this homemade rocket to prove the Earth is flat.
I hope he doesn't think that.
Like that that would prove anything.
Because he would be like, I saw it with my own eyes we'd be like fuck you you're crazy he actually think he's
gonna launch anything in that he does himself yeah so he's doing his cockpit no no i mean like
does he think that's actually gonna launch him enough to prove his ridiculous hypothesis
if you're dumb enough to think that the earth is flat you're not smart enough to be into rocketry like yeah those should be mutually exclusive interests like like no if someone
tells you man i don't know about all this four on the water and like all that shit like you're not
you're assuming immediately like okay this person's not bright like they're they're probably
selling protein powder and alpha brain on the internet or whatever you know all those
nootropics the
science isn't in yet he's really rare he's really rare because when you're this into rockets you're
normally like i'm this capable you normally get like a real job other than just like flying
yourself into the air with rockets to be like you know i just want to prove that the earth is round
just want to see it with my own eyes he's a flat earth rocket scientist. That's a rare breed. I'm a little driver slash rocket scientist.
I like him.
I like him.
He's got a dream. He's doing it.
Every minute he's working on that rocket is a minute
he's not shooting up a public place.
So, you know,
glass half full. That's good.
Have there been more
mass murder? Okay, here's what I'm saying.
To make a short story long,
there was this time, like five years ago,
there was like one or two shark bites,
and it was like the year of the shark,
and it was the cover of People Magazine
and Time Magazine and what have you.
But really, it was just a slightly below average
shark attack year.
But the press covered it like crazy.
Where are we on mass murders?
Like, are we killing
a lot more people this year we breaking any records here more people are dying this year but
the the the numbers of shootings are about normal for us they're just getting better at it i think
violent crime they're just getting better at it like it's hard to look at mass shootings because
they're already so rare that you can't really get a real measure for it.
Unless they do that bullshit thing where they're like, oh, someone shot someone else and then shot themselves.
That's a mass shooting.
That's a thing.
It's so manipulated, it's impossible to really analyze it honestly.
The official stats on mass shootings, I'm almost positive, is two people.
That becomes a mass shooting, which I think is not...
I think it's three.
Then they're just including
gang violence and saying,
oh, there's so many mass shootings. It's like, well,
no, if you're categorizing it this way, then what you're
really saying is there's an enormous gang violence
problem, and then there were also some maniacs
who did mass shootings. I want at least ten, and I'll
accept wounded. Right? You don't have to get a
kill, but... Oh, definitely.
Yeah, but if ten people got shot, that is a mass shooting to me. You know what you don't have to get a kill but oh definitely yeah yeah but if 10 people got
shot that is a mass shooting to me you know what i don't like i don't like when they count when
people get trampled a little or skin their knees is wounded like they got to get hit with a bullet
right same team on that one well it's how they report it right because like the whole purpose
of that guy shooting the the bump stock and everything was to make enough noise that he could start a stampede because he knew that the way you're going to get more kills
of anything if that's your goal is to cause a fucking stampede.
I spent an hour and a half looking up facts on human crushing phenomenon a couple months
ago and it's no joke.
Thousands of people can die.
There was a really wide
opening area where they could run what's the problem is is when they report it and i saw
like mainstream fucking like cnn uh nbc abc kind of commentators being like 500 you know wounded
in mass shooting and it's like well that's really really misleading this guy did not shoot 500
people like he i i think you're making you're
inferring a bit when you say like telling us what his plan was right because i don't think we know
his plan or his motive or anything like that that's fair i was just i'm assuming his plan
is to harm as many people as possible and getting a stampede going would be way it would be a good
idea i just don't know that it was his idea. That's fair. He had so many rounds.
It seemed to me like he might have intended to
hurt people with them.
Cut out the whole middleman on the stampede
thing. If he's just using bump stocks
and virtually
automatic fire, and he has enough
rounds to just keep doing it for minutes.
Walking Dead wished they could fire that much.
What the fuck?
Whenever you say human crushing,
I think about porn.
I don't want to watch Brazilian BBW Raquel
crushing anything.
Unless maybe it's a healthy workout
in the morning.
Or an avocado.
Yeah, she's...
There's a lot of fat in avocado.
That's why it's so good for keto.
Maybe a grapefruit.
Yeah, grapefruit.
Grapefruit are the worst fruit.
She's crushing this guy's face.
You can't really tell it, but that's not a hairy vagina.
That's the top of his head protruding.
That was the top of his head.
He's passed away.
I obviously can't share this with the stream,
but I wonder how well they can see it in the reflection on my golden play button.
Like here it is moving for you, right?
That's where you're looking.
Oh, I can see.
A little, right?
It's pretty censored, I would say.
Yeah, the human crushing is...
Wow.
You probably can't see it,
but the way this thing starts off is you have a very big woman.
And I can only know that's a woman she's sitting on her face
because it's in the title.
Human crushing, or as Wings calls it, sex.
That skinny girl on the bottom can't be breathing and that's man that's man i
believe i don't know i haven't watched the video look at the title again it says like crushing
skinny girl i didn't oh i want to watch okay let me i'm going to skip to like 15 minutes in and
see because this is a weird view i feel like how do you breathe it's a long video how is she breathing see that
why is her jeans on that's that's part of the fun you see she's she's it's it
she's keeping her from breathing for extended periods of time that's part of
the control aspect of this particular fetish oh oh it's about breathing 24 15
20 that is a pretty girl she said well she's a hot girl I haven't
seen her face but I can see it now she's almost dead yeah 24 15 you can
definitely see this girl legitimate rage please do not link this video in the
when you do the the timeline for me this is not... Man, I know you don't pick your fetishes usually,
like what you're into sexually,
but that would suck to pull this straw.
You know what I like?
I like being sat on by morbidly obese people,
and I get really turned on when I have trouble breathing.
But wait, no, that's a good straw to pull
because I feel like it's not hard
to get a morbidly obese person to have sex with you, right?
If there is one group that anyone can score with,
it has to be the morbidly obese.
They're not turning down a lot.
It is.
A real benefit is if you like it and you're cool with it,
then great.
And what would really suck if you're like,
I can only get off if I'm having sex
with like really, really, really hot
girls. Yeah, right. I'm really
into supermodels.
Yeah, that would
It's all pink on the inside.
It's all pink on the
inside.
Shit, I need some t-shirts. Yeah, but it doesn't all
smell like fried chicken.
I mean, this guy probably enjoys that
that's a girl
no the guy being sat on
that's a girl
oh that's a girl
she's just being paid
for sure
at one point she hops off her and she's pretty fit
like she's sort of busty petite thing going on
it's hard to tell she's laying on her back
on the scale of weird fetishes and such i've never actually watched a furry thing but my
understanding of it is that it it's just someone in a mascot costume with like the penis and vagina
area removed and then like fucking the the lions and the bears will just start fucking.
That seems like a really
inconvenient fetish because who has
mascot costumes? And where do you find
lots of friends to have them?
First of all,
I don't know what that is. Woody has
one of these costumes.
No, they make the costumes.
There are entire groups for the costumes.
There are dating sites for people who are furries and stuff. Like it's easy to find other furries.
I was watching my favorite reddit
porn star s
What's her name fucking Sarah?
Triple X. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, and she's gotten one of my other favorite fetishes the bad dragon dildos out
Like she's got some of those going.
Does she have sex?
Like, does she make?
No, no.
It's all solo stuff.
Call me out there, Kyle.
But I really prefer for the penis dildo that the girl is using.
I like it to look like a human penis.
10% gay.
10% gay.
You're right.
I'm fucking so, I'm a speciesist is what I am.
I want a human penis.
If you need a male penis in your porn,
you're a little gay.
A male penis?
As opposed to a dragon.
If you were totally hetero, you wouldn't care if it was a dragon penis.
You're there for the girl.
But no, you like a pretty penis in your porn.
If you're hetero, you would want the male penis,
the human male penis, because you need to be able to place penis in your porn. No, if you're hetero, you would want the male penis, the human male penis,
because you need to be able to place yourself in the situation.
That's just what a 10% gayer would say.
If you're going to go down that path,
then you've got to watch a lesbian porn,
and it's got to be produced and directed by a woman,
because if a guy made it, then a guy made you cum,
and that's pretty gay.
So only watch videos that are directed and produced by females because if porn made by dudes it's just dudes
making you come i'd never consider that that's a that's a point what about the 4chan argument of a
girl fucking a shemale right that is 100% girl it's the preferred nomenclature it's it i i hope it
is i didn't mean to be offensive 25 less gay of a porn right because you've got a girl fucking a
girl who just happens to have a penis so one is half girl half guy the other is all girl 75 yeah
i wrote in the chat there what is that just look up japanese
futanari images is this gonna be like tentacle stuff no it'll be worse it's gonna be like uh
like uh furry futanari is like big furry creatures with big penises and
like hentai is that sarah triple x that you linked yeah Yeah, yeah, it is. See, I think she'd be hotter 10 pounds lighter.
What do you think?
I'm a big fan.
I think she's just right.
What the fuck is this?
Yeah, she's absolutely perfect.
And you want to go over to Sarah-XXX's subreddit.
She has her own subreddit.
Let her know that we're big fans here, especially myself.
Pretty sure she is single.
Ask her if she'd like to go on a vacation with us sometime.
Maybe we could get her on a stream or something
and pimp her subreddit from something like that.
It'd be real fun.
I ruined my imaginary chances with her.
You've got to be responsible and explain what your intentions are
right off the bat so that you
don't find yourself in a scenario.
I think she knows what my intentions are. She said
I was good looking before, so she
knows what's up.
Chiz is saying the right thing. Get her to sign the paperwork.
Yeah, I'm sure she'll
sign some consent paperwork.
She's an adult. From this gif
it certainly appears so.
We can't move past this thing that Harley was talking about without discussing it.
Because this is...
Like, some of these are actually, like, upsetting.
They're so...
Are you looking at the furry Funtanaris?
Come on, yeah, the Funtanaris are great.
No, no, no. I'm not saying it's like, oh my god, this is so...
Well, it is totally degenerate.
Yeah.
So what this is, is it's a bunch of cartoon-drawn
animals, like cats and dogs
and there appears to be a dragon
or a wingling thing there.
And then they all
seem to have penises for the most part.
And tits. And vaginas often.
Yeah, they have penis and vagina.
They have penis and vaginas.
And they're in some very raunchy sex positions. and okay i haven't yeah they have penis and vagina he's right penis and vaginas and like
they're like in some very raunchy sex positions this one is just uh that's just bugs bunny made
into a man woman let go of your homosexual hang-ups would sex be better if everyone had
penises and vaginas no it just got me thinking no yeah i think like i think ultimately sex would be the best if
you did not give a fuck at all and you were just as happy fucking like a jar of mayonnaise as you
were having sex with a beautiful woman because then you know like you'd everyone would be getting
off a lot more no one would have all this crazy sexual aggression and all this shit and you know what I mean like you could but like if I can get off fucking
a jar mayonnaise and be just as happy and fulfilled then you know I would take
it that's probably that's probably the paradise at the end of the day so what
if if Kyle had a pussy would you fuck him no Kyle vibes guy so I'm not really
dent like you got a vibe girl I don't know i throw a wig on me a little makeup
and i shave yeah let's slap some really be a better looking girl than me
uh i yeah all jokes aside i really do prefer women so but but
i'll take i'll take the lady yeah yeah but I'm just like
if we didn't have
like all the hang ups and preconceptions
we had now and just guys and
girls both had both
I do have
a happy trail Woody is that changing things
it is and it's getting better
I don't have a happy trail
I have a joyous highway
you know the people have their types you know like some
people like you know like there's a perfect girl and they're like she's so into me she's
but she just is like you know too skinny or too thick whatever it is
sometimes that can give you that you know i'll be
honest with you i lean more to the sideness of thick than the skinny side but like i mean you
could like you could be like i'm not going to be with this person who's perfect because you have
your sexual hang-ups but if you didn't care then you know you would be with this like awesome girl
who would be perfect for you you. But you also want to be
attracted to your partner.
That's a big deal. That's how some
people end up with terrible bitches
or fucking deadbeats
because they were sexually
attracted to them and it went on too long
and went too far.
Harley spelled the wisdom.
Imagine you didn't care.
Let her know
We go on a trip to Colorado every year
Just get her on out there
Have a good old time
Is she a Colorado gal?
I have no fucking clue
She can be for a week
It doesn't really matter where she is
We're all coming
I'll be right here
I got airline miles it's it's no sweat actually i
don't sometimes i i play in my head like would i enjoy this colorado trip and i just don't know
how much time is devoted to shit i wouldn't like because i'd certainly like the tubing
like that'd be a blast and the snowmobile rides like there's aspects of it i'd like that
what's that you don't do any of that i saw a video you did oh snow tubing yeah yeah well that was yeah on that on that one but you know that was just
because we had um uh what's his name there with his car and you know we had that place out in the
the wilderness yeah that that was that was i guess the stuff you get video of often looks better to
me than like the 90 of the time you're not taking video
yeah yeah we we just stay inside watch tv and eat a lot that is uh that is our favorite thing to do
especially chiz and i are on the same fucking wavelength with that like i'll travel all the
way across the country rent a house rent car, get room service and enjoy myself.
I really enjoyed myself there.
Good times.
Yeah, it was a good time.
On a whole different topic.
I wasn't there for the tube time, though.
So I'm 10% less man than I once was, a little more than that.
And I lost weight.
Is tucking your shirt in not – it makes everything look better on me.
Things are more fitted.
All my shirts kind of –
Yeah, that could be like –
That's true.
Is it bad?
I want to tuck my shirt in.
It depends on the kind of shirt.
You got the wrong kind of shirt.
You have to buy a shirt that is a dress shirt that is meant to be worn untucked and it has a fit to it.
Yeah, exactly.
If you don't, they're puffy and weird
and they stick so far out in the front and the back.
They're just boxy and they make you look shapeless.
My t-shirts do that.
My t-shirts are boxy and make me look shapeless.
And there was a time when shapeless
was an improvement over my actual shape.
But that's becoming less true.
And I tucked in my shirt today.
Cheap, I'm sure.
I don't know.
Whatever's on sale is the brand I tend to buy.
You know what?
If you buy the brand on sale, you're going to look like it's going to fit you like it's on sale.
You're going to look like you're on sale.
What I'm discovering is tucked in, it looks 100% better.
Like all of a sudden, I've got a better V in there.
All the awesome Korean
boy band guys are tucking their shirts in.
T-shirts.
You're goofing on me.
The vibe is tucking is still
not in fashion.
That's true, but I'm not a Korean boy band.
I couldn't be any further from Korean boy band.
The answer to your question is you want
slim fit or fitted shirts uh you
know uh all of my stuff is when i wear something excuse me when i wear something that's not
i get the same look because i have really broad shoulders i have a really narrow waist
and so everything just float hangs down like it's a blouse like like i'm patricia arquette and
fucking um um boardwalk empire trying to look not fat.
I've been rewatching that.
She's so fucking fat.
They're trying to hide it so hard with angles and her like flowing blouses.
So fat.
But you'd look really good if you had – like you should feel the shirt on your ribs.
Like it should come in and be fitted.
How tall are you, Woody?
With sneakers on, six foot.
So I like to say six foot.
But I'm probably 5'11".
Well, technically.
It's not like he's saying he's 6'3".
Oh, no.
I know that reference.
And it was 6'4", I think.
Oh, you said he was 6'4"?
Yeah, yeah.
But yeah, I'm really 5'11", something.
Every so often, the doctor will measure me at
like 6'0". And I'm like, ah,
I like the way you run your operation around here.
Nice job.
But yeah, so I'm
almost 6'0". That's how tall I really
am. And yeah,
I don't know. i took my shirt i felt
really good about this looking better if i don't tuck it in that just takes the widest part of me
and makes that behold me and that's not well yeah that's you got to get the shirts like they have
like you know they usually have like uh they're not 100 cotton button-up shirts and there's like
a little elasticity to them and they're fitted a bit and they're meant to be worn
you know untucked i actually sent you a link right there and that's where i get my shit from
and it fits well i like that stuff like i know you're ordering from the uk but look some of
this stuff is like literally 15 dollars you know 15 that's four times more than i pay for a shirt
like what shirt yeah just like to buy your normal clothes when you're not ordering off $15 that's four times more than I pay for sure
Yeah, it's like to buy your normal clothes, you're not ordering off the internet, where do you go?
Like I mean I go to I go to H&M and I go to top man I do that fast fashion thing. I know a lot of people don't like it
But it's like you go in and you pay like, you know
$10 for like a cool fitted shirt that literally will be destroyed in like
three months from now. What is fast fashion? I've never heard that. Fast fashion is like Zara and
H&M. It's like, you know, they basically like crank them out like Nike shoe styles where they're
like done in, you know, not really the best conditions, but the clothes come out and like,
they're extremely cheap. like that's it like
i don't like spending a lot of money on clothes i like i do buy expensive shoes but like clothing
like t-shirts like this shirt i'm wearing like this t-shirt it's like one of those long shirts
so it fits really long but you know it cost me eight bucks and you know i have another one that
i just threw out because like it ripped over here after two months,
which a real t-shirt would never do.
But a real t-shirt, you might spend $40 for this fit because I like a fitted shirt.
And really, at the end of the day, when you're spending the money, you're buying the fit.
Because if you just want to put it on, it's going to fit you like blah.
It's because they literally made it like blah.
It's like standard issue, whatever.
But if you browse this site, there's plenty that are on sale.
And it's a little risky.
You'll get to know your size, but they have all the measurements there.
And you're probably a large.
It's tough to buy.
Yeah, because it's not those bullshit French sizing.
Do you know your suit measurements?
Not anymore.
When you get my age, I'm 44.
I never hide it.
And these are all like 23-year-old models with neck tattoos.
It's easy to think you're not supposed to buy this.
Like this is not for you.
I sent you the shirts page, like this flannel here.
It's flannel button-up shirts.
They're like a bomber jacket or like this flannel here it's flannel button-up shirts they're like you know a bomber
jacket or like this flannel jacket like mock collars that believe you could do all that shit
you could do all that shit you know i mean there's crazy ones down here like i see this guy with the
neck tattoo wearing this floral one yeah me and you wear that like we deserve to get our asses
kicked but i'm saying there's like 80 of the stuff here you could do for sure you know i agree with that yeah you need to look at it you need to
look at it with the lady you need to browse through with a lady you know you need to have
that like you think i could pull that off last time i bought something nice the i went to the
mall and i went to a nice it was expensive was expensive for like one outfit. I think I spent $2.50 on like a coat, pants, and shirt.
But the guy like, I told him exactly what was up.
And I've told this story before.
I went to this thing in New York City
and there were like a bunch of sort of up and coming boy bands and me.
And I was wearing Woody's Gamer shorts,
like plaid cargo shorts and a blah t-shirt and I looked like I
was gonna mow the yard and all these other people were like dressed to the hilt and I felt bad about
myself like like in your boxy unfitted not flattering shirt and your cargo pants plaid
cargo pants yeah yeah and I might have had sneakers on or something and it and it was just it was a
not a good look and i was like you know what like i go to events and shit like this i should have
an outfit that i can look good in and uh and the guy really sort of nailed it you know it was an
age appropriate but current it was just what i was looking for i need another because i i feel like my everyday outfit
is as bad as it gets it's like carver shorts and a blotty shirt just do dark jeans and then
and various button-up collared shirts but just pay a bit more for the fitted ones you know
you gotta get some of these fucking jeans these are the look these are pajama jeans
these are fucking they look like real jeans.
There's no fly.
There's nothing there.
It's a fake fly.
These are pajama pants.
I've been rocking these things every day.
They're awesome.
They got real pockets.
I've been thinking you've had jeans on this whole time, you liar.
Yes.
I wear these everywhere.
I thought you were gening out with the rest of us and you can chill it in sweatpants
So fucking nice, they're so fucking nice. They're so comfortable there like I've got
Cuz I've never had sweatpants jeans, but I've had like the stretchier denim before they always
Stretch out and get sloppy looking faster than normal jeans where like just
from sitting and use and stretching and all that are you noticing like bagginess and i've washed
them three times uh and if anything maybe they've gotten a little bit tighter um i and like the
sizing chart works i got a medium because i'm like a less than a 30 waist now like like so it's i
don't know bananas less than the 30 waist dude i've been bananas. Less than a 30 waist?
I've been eating
a quart of ice cream
a night for about two weeks now.
Man, that sounds awful.
It's so good.
I've been getting this banana split ice cream.
It's just got pineapples and cherries
and strawberries and shit, and I can't stop eating it.
So that's how you get your vegetables and your fruits?
Yeah.
It's just your fruits?
Well, I figured, like, you know, you guys keep pointing out how I'm not getting any green vegetables,
so I got this B12 with folate to, like, make up for the fact that I don't eat any green vegetables.
So now I'm just taking vitamins because I'm just – I realize I literally – the only vegetables I eat are potatoes,
and I'm not sure if that's even a real vegetable.
Oh, man.
That's a tuber. So you don't get it. Yeah. Right? if that's even a real vegetable man and that that's uh that's that's a
tuber so yeah yeah if that's the only one and uh and i don't think potatoes are chock full of
nutrients it's kind of just starch or sweet potatoes are good for you do you like sweet
potatoes yeah but i cover them in brown sugar and butter and i mean i i mean like every bite
has to be sweet and buttery or like when you get to the part that doesn't have any, I just throw it away.
And, like, salad, like, I put blue cheese dressing and, like, handfuls of feta cheese and big, like, crazy, like, buttery croutons.
And, like, I cook up, like, four sticks of bacon and dice it up and, like, make this ridiculously awful-for-you salad.
And how often are you breaking this ridiculously awful for you salad so like like and how often
how often are you breaking out the lettuce and for the salad like is that a bi-monthly thing
uh probably once a week probably once a week i have i really like salad like but again i'm
putting blue cheese dressing all the fuck over it like i like like like it's it's just as much
dressing as it is salad but i make a big salad like seinfeld style like it's i pretty much use the whole bag of lettuce when i make a salad i just use vinaigrette
yeah okay that's the better one for you yeah and and it's not as good as ranch obviously
because ranch is just what fat american sauce as the rest of the world calls it. I use blue cheese.
Really? They call it American sauce? Yeah.
Oh. Didn't know that.
Yeah.
I kind of wish we got, like, they called ketchup
American sauce. I'd rather have that labeled
than, you know, that's much more
important. That's higher up on the list, I think, than
ranch. I go through a bottle of ketchup
a month, like a
I think it's 64 ounces right like
the big fucking bottle might be 32 ounces i get two of them at a time because i just i go to
wendy's a lot now and i've been getting their uh their their chicken strips i get two number 11s
large uh you know they'll give you ketchup if you ask right do you have any packets you have
to squeeze out to get the amount of ketchup i want i
i've just got a bottle of ketchup beside my bed and i just do you throw it away do you actually
use all that ketchup i use all that ketchup yeah okay yeah yeah even though like ketchup liquid
shit at the bottom you shake it see you're a noob you shake the bottle to get it incorporated
taylor be embarrassed that's ketchup pre-cum. That's what that is.
You're not eating 64 ounces of
ketchup every other week, you idiot.
Get good, Taylor. Get good.
I've seen so many people get a hot dog
and then they'll upend
this whole bottle of ketchup on their hot dog and
squirt an ounce of ketchup pre-cum
on it. I'm like, yeah, you dummy. You
noob. You didn't shake the bottle.
You gotta shake the bottle. Mustard, too.
Anybody who puts ketchup in the refrigerator is a communist,
by the way. You should be getting
ketchup that stores upside down.
Or Canadian.
You keep your ketchup in the fridge?
I always thought you were supposed to.
I'm with Harley on that one.
Listen, man, at the end of the day...
The only place you can eat cold ketchup is in your home, and that makes no fucking sense. I'm with Harley on that one listen man at the end of the day
the only place you can eat cold ketchup is in your home
and that makes no fucking sense
it says refrigerate after opening
it says it right on the bottle
I don't care
it says best if refrigerated
the Jew inside me
needs to prolong the existence of that bottle
of ketchup and then you can
you put in the fridge you can have that ketchup for three years if you want.
Kyle's like, it's now that side cake.
You can go out and get yourself another $8 shirt
sewed by a nine-year-old Cambodian.
That's it.
I exchange that.
That's what I pay for that back in ketchup.
That's my punishment.
The wings of redemption inside me ensures
that I go through the entire
bottle long before it could go bad
on me. I eat that
bottle of ketchup fast.
Why do you keep bringing up wings?
Because it's fun. He's an easy target
because he's so large.
Okay.
I feel bad.
You shouldn't feel bad.
You're not... He doesn't watch. I feel bad. Oh, you don't. You shouldn't feel bad.
You're not.
He doesn't watch.
I bet every, I mean, you're on YouTube, you know, everything gets to you, right? Like there's somebody out there who's going to say this guy, you know, hey, timestamp,
whatever, three minutes to three hours, two seconds.
And they're going to, he'll hear it.
I bet he hears everything. I bet there's someone out there who tells him and i yeah i don't know like because
i'm thinking like he said much worse shit about me than you just said about him yeah why do i do
this all the time i don't know i don't know remember when he said the two of us were pro
fucking people over yeah when was that on the show it was in one of
his videos he he he made it he got a gameplay and then he commentated it said kyle and woody
like fucking people over and then he rendered it and then he uploaded it and then he kept it there
it's still there and i'm here defending him i have a i need to see a psychiatrist you know but
here I am
he's a bad guy
sounds like you guys are some honorary Jews
join the club
the fact that he's pitiful and pathetic
doesn't excuse him from being an asshole
like you know
like you can cry your eyes out on the internet
but it doesn't change the fact that you're a bad person
I haven't fucked anybody else
ever. I haven't fucked anyone
over ever.
I try to be excessively
honest in my business dealings
and you do the exact same thing.
You overpay people all the time.
You have just to ensure
that there can be no way
that they go forward and say,
but then Woody kind of screwed me over there
at the end so it's just all the people i've ever done business with you'll never hear one come out
and say woody was not honest in his business affairs with me yeah same way yeah you know like
like it's the opposite you know i'm the one who often gets fucked over or screwed over one way or the other or lie to and you don't see me
out there fucking being a big cry baby about it like we talked about like how he was crying last
week and i told you guys like you know my problems that i've had i'm like yeah i cry i don't go on
the fucking internet and cry i get me i get a box of kleenex and and I go in here, and I cry to my family or to my friends or whatever.
And I go about my job on the internet like a man.
I don't fucking cry and break it down on the internet.
Come on.
He's a bad guy.
He's the bad guy.
Yeah, but his superpower is to overlook that.
And pie eating.
I mean, there are a lot of people who are done overlooking it.
Like, if you look at the PKA subreddit, it used to be like, oh, my God, you know, I want Kyle and Woody to help this man.
I want other people.
Someone out there should be his hero and solve his problems for him, you know?
Yeah, I wish someone would take a month out of their schedule,
invite him to their house, and then live with him
and motivate him daily while making vlogs and do it all for free.
Oh, wait, that's what I fucking did.
I hear you.
But where I was going with that is like three years ago,
that was the consensus.
Now, if anything, at best best it's 50 50 it might be less than 50 percent
of the people who are on wings like still on team wings and and two-thirds are saying like man
you know i've given up trying like that yeah i mean there's a vocal there's a vocal minority
that you know he's a pitiable individual i get it you know i feel sorry for him minority that, you know, he's a pitiable individual. I get it.
I feel sorry for him.
But it's, you know, he's a bad guy.
He's not a nice person.
You know, when he's winning, when he's like killing it, making tons of money, and he's at the top of YouTube, he's spending his whole time like stepping on people and kicking the people who are below him. If he took off right now and was extremely successful, you wouldn't see a nice person.
You wouldn't see a generous, amiable person who was trying to help people.
No, he'd start picking on people himself.
He's a cry bully.
He's a cry bully.
Yeah, the only thing that hasn't really been tested, right? And I have this theory about young people.
Is that if someone's bad at 33, right?
And then they're 39, they're probably the same guy.
Like I don't give you a lot of second chances as an adult.
If someone's bad at 16 and now they're 22, that's a very different person, right?
And in Wing's case, he was on top at, I'm making up a number, 24.
Now he's 31.
We don't know what 31-year-old Wing's would be like.
What do you got, Kyle?
You look like you want to talk about Snapchat.
Nothing that I can share.
You can talk about it, maybe.
Someone is not that clothed and just sent you a picture.
A video.
I'd say that 24 to 31
is a big gap.
A lot can happen for a man there.
Right.
Yeah.
I just feel like
it's untested. 31-year-old Wings
gets on top and
maybe he'll be nicer this time around.
He'll smash and
controllers and losing his con showing no self-control and and you know there's not a lot
of evidence that he's different i'll grant you that he's a manipulative guy people are like oh
yeah he's just breaking down he chose the moment when he's live streaming to to to the maximum
amount of people to break down and cry. He knows the game. You think?
I don't.
Yeah.
In my head, he's not that calculated.
Exactly.
That's the idea.
That's why it works.
You know, look, if you like wings, you like wings.
Go forth and, you know, keep liking him.
I like his content.
I find his life to be fascinating.
But I've known the guy forever.
He's a bad person, you know.
And I'm not i'm not
mother theresa over here but but he's kind of a cruel mean person who's just got no self-control
and is in a pity and just pity he just pity party for himself i don't feel sorry for myself and i
got plenty to feel you know i got i got troubles i don't cry about it i don't pity myself and i
don't want you to pity me worst thing that's disgusting
to me when you want someone to pity
you and you're out there
like doing this woe is me act
because the last thing I would ever want no matter what's
going on in my life is to be pitied
it's a terrible feeling to be pitied
I would much rather be hated than
pitied and
I can't get on
board with someone who doesn't feel the same way can you imagine being pitied and uh and i i can't i can't get on board with someone who doesn't feel the same way
you know what can you imagine being pitied by someone how awful that would feel wouldn't you
rather be hated than pitied no i understood sometimes makes a lot of sense like i don't
know i'm thinking i'm trying to i've told so i think the world knows my mother-in-law staying
with us and she's not doing that well. How much show did I miss tonight?
40 minutes?
I don't do that.
You think I was pooping for 40 minutes?
I wasn't fucking pooping.
Yeah.
So Jackie came home.
I was talking to her.
That's what I was doing.
I don't want pity, but maybe understanding, right?
Just a break.
Look, I wasn't being lazy no of course not yeah
we know that everybody knows that during that 40 minutes was providing misleading things about where
you what you went on i'm sure no we didn't uh yeah what he's doing some dark web shit right
now for bitcoin yeah you said mother theresa like you said i'm the mother theresa kyle but uh mother theresa
was a scumbag fucking catholic cunt i didn't know anything about her that much until like i watched
like some christopher hitchens debate and this must have been like eight years ago or something
because he's been dead for a while uh and he was talking about how and i i figured like she had
hospitals up and running and everything like no she just had hosp hospitals up and running and everything. No, she just had hospices up and running
and lied about exactly where different money was going in the organization.
And she thought suffering was a gift from God.
And so she said, accept, embrace your suffering.
And then when she had some medical problem late in life,
she was like, well, I'm going to a hospital.
You know, no suffering for me.
And so it was like, oh, man, that kind of ruins.
Like she's already so famous for being like a good person that it will never fully reverse.
She's a saint.
I learned something about this lately.
You might guess why.
You might guess why.
But apparently, like for example, giving fluids to someone at the very end,
when you're dying, dying, you get into like a euphoric,
I can't pronounce the word, euphoric state.
Did I get it?
And the body has like a sort of a natural procedure to painlessly end life. Like that's, that's how it goes. And if you were to hypothetically,
like, you know,
inject them with food and liquids and things to sort of like prolong what's
going on, then it kicks them out of that euphoric, nice,
ease into death state and puts them into something that's quite painful.
You know, like, like,
like a healthy person would be if they were very hurt and uh somehow like hearing mother theresa like is it possible she's being painted
but she was really doing it right like you know what if it's a hospice and she's easing people
into death then is she doing it the right way and they're just acting like that's evil or yeah i don't
think all the people that were in her hospices like were irreparably sick yeah yeah there's a
lot of there's there was a lot of uh money being um what's the word i'm looking for uh when you uh
not laundering yeah uh there was millions and millions of dollars that she was... Embezzled.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Mother Teresa was not a nice person.
You know who are some nice people
though? I can't wait to hear.
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What's that?
Can you say the URL again?
Because you hiccuped, and I'm sure they didn't hear it right.
Yeah, bespokepost.com.
It wasn't your fault.
It was the tech.
Ah, bespokepost.com. Link below. Each subscription box goes for only 45 bucks with more than $70
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Themed boxes for guys that give a damn.
They sent me a bunch of cool stuff.
They sent me these cool little glasses.
That's fancy.
Are they durable?
Durable.
Stood up to that like a champ.
If I knew the URL was in that read
like 12 times, I might not have made a big deal out of it.
Yeah.
This whiskey bottle, there's a big man bag.
And they sent me this thing just full of style products.
Dude, that thing is the bomb.
You'll get a lot of use out of those.
The bomb, I think I'm in the 90s.
But that bag is like, you have to touch it and hold it.
Dude, that's dope.
It's quality, yes.
Tubular.
Oh my god, it's the bee's knees.
Those are the cat's pajamas.
Far out.
You want to be hunky-dory.
Try these groovy new products.
The style part with this fancy soap here, some hair gel, construction paste.
Yeah.
Shampoo and conditioner, some sort of beard and face wash.
I haven't really even.
I was excited.
I didn't have a manly toiletry bag.
My father did.
And I wanted one because my father had like a good one and he had
it for like his whole life and i was like i should invest in one and uh i never did i had this crappy
embarrassing bag i've used for way too long but not anymore why not is my name sewn on it because
my mom did that when i went to summer camp get out really it just says it says harley on it
mine has a picture of my family from disney Disney World because it was originally a bag that something came in,
so it had like, I don't know,
some sort of ad copy in there.
So she took that out and she put in the family,
and now it's like wet,
and the kids are all looking like the end of Indiana Jones.
But it's still my family, so whatever.
All right.
Bespokepost.com.
Cool stuff.
Did you eat something, Kyle?
I ate some of the soap.
You ate the soap, huh?
I tried to eat the soap.
Kitty makes soap.
And sometimes her soap actually tastes really good.
Like I was down there looking at her soaps earlier.
Don't eat soap.
You were really short bussing it right now.
Her soaps, no, were really short-busting it. Her soaps...
No, because her soaps smell
like food, a lot of them do.
There's like an apple pie one
and like... Smell like food.
Yeah, this is dog behavior.
Somebody bop him on the nose with a newspaper.
I'm going to rub your face
into all those little soaps.
No! Not for eating!
He'll be so happy.
I licked one of her...
Her soap tastes okay, like better than that soap, if I'm being completely honest.
I don't think they'll mind me saying so.
And I licked one of her bath bombs yesterday.
And it's because it smelled like orange, like Dream Sickle or whatever, that orangey vanilla cream.
And I licked it.
No!
It tastes... So there's salt in there um so it tasted like a salty dream sickle i was like you got to make
these with sugar you got to make these with sugar and and then it'll actually be like a big chunk of
candy like a cream sickle you're gonna be all sticky i guess i can't judge on the on the soap
thing i told you guys on the show a while back about when I was like nine
and I got in trouble for like saying bad words or something.
And so my parents made me sit with a bar of soap in my mouth like a Christmas story style.
And out of spite, while I was sitting in the bathroom supposed to be learning my lesson,
I ate the entire bar of soap so that they would come in and see that like,
ah, this clearly hasn't phased him.
And it works. They never made me put something you see this is why it's good to be a little brother right
because your older brother has raised your parents to some extent and you get
away with more shit they just you you're breaking them like a wild horse mm-hmm I
didn't feel good afterward but the feeling of victory overcame the nausea
and in the stomach aches anyway Harley so thank you so much for coming on.
Where can everybody find all of your shit?
Thank you so much for having me.
I guess I've been on a bunch of times.
I'd probably tell everyone to go check out Epic Mealtime.
We actually just started Season 2 of Epic Mealtime four weeks ago.
Nice.
So, yeah, that means Season 1 about uh almost eight years long and like
750 episodes i think i might actually do a previously on epic mealtime and just show all
of the episodes back to back over the past seven years uh but the the tone of the show is definitely
uh we've we've upped our game in some aspects and i i i kind of like uh
have a new passion for it so uh i would tell people to go check out epic mealtime if you
haven't seen it in a while it's a little different now and there's some surprises there also harley
plays on instagram and twitter and all that jazz twitch if you watch that thanks so much for having
me guys thank you always a pleasure man i'll check out season two which should be wrapping in 2024 Twitter, and all that jazz. Twitch, if you watch that. Thanks so much for having me, guys. Thank you, Charlie.
Always a pleasure, man. I'll check out season two,
which should be wrapping in 2024,
apparently. Exactly.
Big Futanari shout-out.
Tom, I'm a bitch out there.
Alright, guys. Peace. See you.
Later, buddy.
By the way, if you want some of Kitty's stuff, it's
One Tree Lane on Etsy.
One Tree Lane.
Yeah.
I like that.
That sounds like something you'd find in, like, a hotel bathroom in, like, nice little wrapping paper, you know?
Yeah.
Like a little soap.
Does she do that?
Yeah, she does.
She's got really fancy soaps.
Like, she hand-makes the soaps from scratch, and, like, they're legit.
And she's got a lot of cool shit.
My wife has started making soap.
Oh, wait, Kyle, you need to tell us about someone else as well.
Yeah, our vision-impaired friend over here, Taylor,
recently tried an app called Simple Contacts,
and I know it saved him so much time and money on ordering contact lenses,
so we have to share this with our listeners here.
If you wear Contacts, you probably dread the annual eye appointment to renew your prescription.
Well, Simple Contacts brings the doctor to you.
You can take a vision test at home in under five minutes.
Then a real doctor reviews your test and writes you a new prescription.
Simple Contacts offers every brand of lenses, and their prices are unbeatable.
But our listeners also get $30 off their first Simple Contacts order
when they use our code.
And you can use your HSA dollars as well.
So make sure to take advantage of that before the end of the year.
So to save $30 on your lenses,
just go to simplecontacts.com slash PKA and enter code PKA at checkout.
Again, that's simplecontacts.com slash PKA and just enter code PKA at checkout.
Also, this isn't a replacement for your periodic full eye health exam.
Yes, we were mandated to say this, so don't be dummies.
This is just an easy way of getting your contacts at a great price.
You still need to take care of your eyes.
Yes.
Check them out for sure if you have eyes like mine, or even not quite as bad as mine,
because if your eyes are like 10% as bad as mine, you need glasses.
So, you know, do that, but the best part about ordering it and having it show up...
You're breaking up.
Taylor? I'm here there you are not the best part about you were saying oh oh yeah the best part
about it is ordering it and having it brought to you where every so often or not every so often
every time i go to usually where i get my eye my contacts done is i'll go and uh and they'll i'll
be like i want another year give Give me another year of contacts.
I just want to knock it out.
And
they're like, oh, no, no.
You can do it.
Then you can only order six months at a time.
Whereas this,
a lot of goofy faces, Kyle.
That's because you are making goofy faces
on the lag.
You talk, and then, of course, when you freeze someone mid-word,
usually it's, you know, I'm out.
I can't tell if Taylor's frozen or just being frozen.
It was a little of both.
It was.
But anyway, if you are like me and everybody else with contacts
and you're tired of going to your
doctor for them to say oh no you got to pay for this exam and it's like i know my eyes haven't
gotten worse i just want the same prescription i don't want to pay for this exam when i can just
get my my contacts back everything's going fine and this is the way to do it so definitely check
them out you want to watch this uh i don't know if this is interesting or not i haven't watched
the video yet of this north Korean soldier escaping to freedom.
Escaping to freedom?
I mean, is it uplifting or does he get shot or something?
He gets shot,
but he makes it.
They found a parasite in...
I'm not up on my metric system.
Is that what it was?
They found this parasite in his stomach.
27 centimeters long, I want to say.
I hope I'm not messing... I think it was 27 centimeters long i want to say i i hope i'm not messing i think it's
27 centimeters which has got to be like i don't know 18 inches or something right can we watch a
little i want to see this it's been uh popping up on my radar all day but i haven't actually watched
it yeah so i'm at 17 seconds are we were we supposed to like, I'm at 17 seconds as well. It says 27 centimeters is 10.6 inches.
Shit.
From 17 seconds,
ready, set, play.
We could probably just let this play
and something comes to me.
Yes, I expected something.
I expected words.
I just have it muted.
So is the escaping gentleman in the truck?
I guess. Driving is the escaping gentleman in the truck? I guess.
Driving down the road.
I know that he gets shot multiple times.
Then how did you say he escaped?
He did escape.
He got shot, and then they got him,
and then he's recovering now.
He's awake now.
Oh, in South Korea or wherever?
They didn't shoot him with a death ray, just an AK.
Oh, but wait.
No, I saw on CNN that the AK is a death ray.
Well, it may as well be with that
under-barrel
chainsaw.
Is this
him in the Jeep?
I think so.
I think
that's him in the Jeep. Look at how
shitty that guard tower is.
Is he in North Korea?
I don't recognize shitty buildings. really don't it seems like a
regular guard tower to me the roof it looks like it's got corrugated tin at the top a little rusty
yeah it might be maybe he was supposed to stop at that guard tower i'm wondering at what point
they realize they have a defector they have so few cars on the road that this guy
is just totally fine driving right down the middle like it doesn't even occur to him to stay in a
lane because it's like i'm not going to see another car if he's going to kill me now this
guy's in the military right he's a soldier who's defecting yeah he must be it looks like what's
weird is that i feel like if you're in the military you're probably well fed and like
taken care of to some extent. You're actually not.
No, their
military people are treated horribly because they just don't
have enough food.
You can get treated better than the general population,
but that's not a very high bar in North Korea.
Their army
as a whole physically is very,
very small because they don't
grow. Are you talking about
the individuals are small or the
population like the same way like you go to fucking the congo or wherever and you'll see pockets of
people who are just very small people because it's like they don't they're malnourished yeah
they they um they're a couple of inches shorter than their south koreans and korean counterparts
and south koreans aren't that tall i don't think no which according to woody means their
penises are small oh now they're running they're running for them it's just asians they have small
penises i've watched enough i've watched enough porn that guy is running like he knows that if
he doesn't catch this guy then he's next on the on the block he's not running that well he's got
like one hand on his gun it's flopping around i think these are south koreans um going to i i don't fucking know is he stuck in the mud in his jeep yeah he's stuck
oh no oh they were you know what are you these are north koreans chasing this guy look at him
blasting at him oh yeah i can't believe they didn't kill him. There's four people
firing at that guy.
Not concerned about the crossfire because all these buildings
are abandoned, I assume.
I wish the video was
bigger. Why is the video...
What the hell? Who edited this?
North Korean camera.
We really got to make sure the date stamp
is in there properly. Remember that horrible Hulk
movie with
the guy from Fight Club?
Or Eric Bana, yeah,
not the Fight Club guy, that guy, where they would always
just jump around to the shitty little squares
on the corner of showing
five things at a time. That's what this video is like.
It reminds me of that horrible Hulk movie.
Ang Lee made that.
Are we looking at North Korea now
or South Korea?
I can't read Korean, so I don't know what that says.
I think it's North Korea,
and these guys are mobilizing to stop the guy who's escaping.
Okay.
In my mind's eye,
these guys are not between the defector and freedom.
Yeah, I agree with that.
I think they're behind him trying to figure out what to do.
I wonder if any of them are thinking, well, maybe we should try.
No, because they kill your family two generations up or something crazy like that if you defect.
Oh, did you mean maybe we should try to defect or maybe we should try to get him?
No, maybe we should try to defect. maybe we should try to get him? No, maybe we should try to defect.
Maybe we should get out of here too.
But yeah, that's a good point about, well, mom and dad and grandma and grandpa and little kids die.
Look, I get that North Korea is not the greatest place, but the fall leaf colors are pretty.
Right?
Yeah.
Those are beautiful trees.
It looks like a weeping willow a little bit, but they're sort of autumn orange.
Right.
What is this random car?
This is Rush Hour.
Troop's crawling towards...
There he is.
That's him. He shot.
He shot.
Is he still in North Korea?
Now he's in North Korean leaves
laying next to that wall.
You can see him right there on the...
In the infrared.
Yeah, infrared.
I want to see this.
I think these are South Koreans crawling
toward him to recover him.
I would not be on that team.
Oh, now he's in South Korea, says Chiz.
Okay.
So he made it to South Korea and he's just laying there
waiting to be saved.
Yeah, I think he's unconscious from the bullets.
He got shot
like four times.
That is troublesome.
It's pretty crazy he didn't die.
Yeah.
Because they really...
It was just five...
You're breaking up.
I always thought like in real life
you had five people
damn it
sorry
so the lead surgeon
says that he's fine
um
the description
if you click more
it shows you a lot
I don't want to
people are watching
the video
so I can only
like go away
from it so much
but
check it out
uh yeah he's fine um go away from it so much. Check it out.
Yeah, he's fine.
Confirmed. Shot four times.
Wow. See how when they drag him, it leaves a trail?
Do you think that's just
disturbed leaves being a different temperature?
Maybe the ones he was laying on.
It could be blood
or
him just lying on the ground
would change the temperature enough.
It depends on what the
sensitivity is set to on the FLIR.
They can see
footsteps in grass if it's
set to detect them.
If someone's walked there it changes the
temperature enough that it can be detected hmm it's pretty cool technology
that's pretty cool well I'm glad he made it yeah shame about the family cry and
shame about you know the other ten who are now in a work camp dead so that parasite thing was out was
what parasite thing were you talking about he had like a giant tapeworm basically in his stomach
like this big white fleshy worm with appeared to have teeth like a lamprey like it looked like
something out of a science fiction movie he should claim some sort of like Wrath of Khan excuse for defecting.
It's not my fault. I had a parasite.
It controlled my brain. It made me run.
His name's
Jerry and Jerry likes sweet.
That was the most fucked up
thing I'd ever seen in a Star Trek movie.
When they put the Marillion
brain beetles in their ears or whatever the fuck.
Khan puts them in the helmet and puts the helmet on them.
And this big fucking pincer beetle crawls in their ear and controls their brain.
Yeah.
That was fucked.
I saw it when I was young.
What did the beetle have to gain from it?
Nothing.
It's a parasite.
Well, that's where the beetle lives.
You know, he lives in people's brains, I guess.
And, like, when the beetle goes in there, they're super suggestive to suggestion, I guess.
So Khan was able to control Chekhov
and whatever that black guy's name was.
It doesn't matter.
He got vaporized later on by a phaser,
so it doesn't matter.
But Chekhov survived somehow.
The interesting thing is Chekhov wasn't in the episode
Botany Bay of the original series,
so he wouldn't have known Khan.
He wouldn't have recognized him
now checkoff is dead from the movies yes i wonder if they'll yeah he got crushed by his own jeep
yeah like freak accident apparently that jeep was susceptible to that kind of accident like it
popped out of gear and okay so um i hope they get i really liked that actor I hope they get a suitable replacement
They're not going to replace him
I don't think
There's going to be no Chekhov going forward
Anton something or another
I hope they don't make any more of those fucking movies
What? The new Star Treks are great
Yeah I think they're garbage
Especially the most recent one
I love them
And the most recent one
Is that the one where they defeat the alien horde
by playing Beastie Boys?
Yes.
That is the one where they defeat the alien horde
with Beastie Boys.
Oh, that sounds so stupid.
The alien horde was overwhelmingly using mining ships.
Sometimes I go on YouTube just to watch that scene again.
I have no shame in my entertainment game.
I don't remember.
I saw that one Star Trek where they did use like a mining ship.
And my understanding of it was like they went.
Some guy from the future was fucking with them in his more powerful ship.
And so they went even further into the future.
So far into the future to where mining ships were
able to compete with that other
future's ship, I was not
paying a lot of attention.
It was the opposite. They were old
ships abandoned on a fucking planet.
They were derelict mining ships
that were abandoned.
How did they win?
The third one. He's on the first one
with the time travel. It's because he's confused. I definitely're talking about the third one. He's on the first one with the time travel.
Well, it's because he's confused.
I definitely haven't seen the third one.
Yeah.
On the first one, it's also a mining ship.
And apparently, is it Kirk's dad fucks with the guy?
So he manages to go way in the future, grabs a mining ship, comes back,
and now a mining ship is more powerful than a current starship or something?
No.
Are you sure?
I didn't like in the beginning.
The premise of the first
Star Trek movie is that
Spock was trying to
save the Romulan homeworld
because their star was going to go supernova.
This is happening in
the future.
Spock doesn't make it
in time. The star goes
supernova. Romulus is destroyed.
And this guy
wants to go
back in time and get
Spock and get his revenge
on Spock because his wife died on
the home planet. He's in like a cargo cargo ship and he goes back but but he messes up the time
travel he goes but he goes back way fucking too far and when he emerges from
his time warp there's Kirk's dad he's in the ship he's not the captain of the
ship but he ends up taking over and he fights off the mining ship long enough for all the pods to escape.
And in one of those pods is Kirk's pregnant mother,
and she gives birth to him on the escape pod as they escape.
And this sets out the new alternate timeline for Star Trek.
Then the time-traveling Romulan has to go back in his time warp and emerge at a new time.
He's still trying to get back to where Spock is, a grown man, so he can deal with him.
Kirk lives his life, ends up going into Starfleet and runs into this guy again
and ends up defeating him before the guy can use the red matter to destroy more planets.
But before he can do that, of course, he destroys Vulcan,
Spock's homeworld, killing Spock's mother and much of his family, but not his father.
The second one is a ripoff of Wrath of Khan
where they got Cumberbatch, Benjamin Cumber...
Benedict.
Benedict Cumberbatch playing Khan.
Not a popular first name anymore.
Or I guess he's in the UK.
Maybe he is.
Yeah.
And, you know, he and Kirk team up,
and they go up against the Star Trek Admiral
who had used the events of the first movie to militarize Star Trek
and make a military vessel in secret.
And they team up.
They kill him.
And then, of course, Spock has to go down to the planet
and kill Khan and
you think you're going to get a reversal
of the events of the original
Wrath of Khan where
Kirk dies and Spock lives
but they pull a MacGuffin and they
just bring him back to life, ex machina style
or whatever. And then the third one
is where they use a fucking
it just goes completely off the
goddamn rails and they're on a planet with uh uh idris elba the the black guy playing it doesn't
even make sense it doesn't it's kind of neat no so on the third one oh it also involves mining
ships which sounds you know like they did it already but what's weird is they have these small
mining ships that would like pierce into planets.
And the starships are really only equipped
to fight other big starships.
And these things go at them like a swarm of bees.
So in the same way that Taylor could fight off
like a coyote or something,
he would struggle to fight off a thousand hornets.
You know, he'd get them, he'd clap, he'd do whatever,
but he's just overwhelmed.
And they pierce through the hole and do a kind of damage hornets you know he'd get on me clap he'd do whatever but he's just overwhelmed and they
pierce through the hole and do a kind of damage that uh that they're just not ready to fight
against but it turns out that they communicate with each other over a particular frequency and
then once they figured out what that frequency was they would play beastie boys on it and they
all started blowing up it was great that's not even the most ridiculous part
for some reason idris elba forgot where his spaceship was on the planet that he'd been on
for like 80 years somehow he's got a machine that takes the like life force of of people and like
incorporates it into him to make him stronger but who's he been using it on the whole time since his whole crew is still
fucking there? And he's morphed into some
kind of a lizard man over the
course of time.
Lizard men are real!
He's forgotten that his spaceship is there,
and this random black and
white domino-faced alien
chick has invented a
cloaking device to hide
Idris Elba's ship from him.
He forgot where he parked it, I guess.
Then, at one point,
Scotty says, oh, it'd be hard
to beam more than one person
at a time, couple. And then later on,
he's like, oh, I'll just beam the entire fucking
crew across the planet. No big deal.
And then they slide the ship
off a cliff and fly it away, like
aerodynamics even come into play
with a gigantic fucking starship then kurt decides to save the day motocross style that's the most
ridiculous part they just had a motocross bike there that he could beam it was like an old
fashioned cafe racer not even meant to like it's meant to do i think dirt tracks if i remember it
right like it wasn't if you're picturing a motocross bike like something with big travel suspension
that's not it it's like a cafe racer if i recall and he's jumping it like 80 feet in the air which
somehow what's fun about star trek it's a popcorn movie is like all problems seem to be solved with extreme sports. Like, oh my God, there's an alien ship.
There's an alien ship drilling a hole into the center of this planet
to suck away the planet's energy core.
If only there were a bunch of people who were really good at base jumping.
That part made sense.
That part was fine.
All the things you're describing, this sounds so stupid.
It's the greatest. I love it.
That actually made sense.
They were boring to the center of the planet,
and they were going to inject this red matter stuff,
which was going to blow the planet up,
and the transporters weren't working,
and so they had to do a high-altitude jump
to get on the platform and destroy it. That kind of made
a little bit of sense in the Star Trek universe.
The thing is, it's always
like, huh, if we just had
some good base jumpers or wing
suiters or slack liners
or motocross riders, then we could
solve our problems. And sure enough,
it turns out the crew of the Enterprise, who are
pretty much like star office workers,
are also excellent at extreme sports and it in terms of movies it is like the pink of movies it is it is
like the the music that we joke that i like i listen to a lot of stuff really but you know they
the new kids on the block cover girl of movies is star trek it's fun it's like yeah you know like look at that guy like who knew
that star trek uniforms had wingsuits built into them and off they go and it's a blast and and i
when everyone comes out i like it jj abrams i think is making the next one so i was happy
the first one pretty fucking good movie like jj abrams the second one quite bad and not not a great movie
just like like a like a five out of ten and then they turned it around is a fucking abortion it's
great it's not a popcorn movie it's a jello movie you got to be retarded to enjoy it it is awful it
is it is so full of plot holes that you can't even fill in a realm where there's faster-than-light travel,
matter transportation machines, and replicator technology.
You can't even fill the plot holes with that.
It just doesn't make any sense.
You know what I watched this week?
The third Hobbit movie.
You guys told me it was terrible.
Oh, no.
Don't poison your mind with that drift.
There's no reason for it.
But it just seemed like it was a piece of, like, I don't know,
culture that I should know about.
I want to see Hamilton someday.
I want to see the third Hobbit movie.
I hear you.
It's not that it's great, but like people –
You want to be aware.
I watched the previous 37 hours of film.
I could not finish it.
So it was just as Taylor described.
They fight the dragon kind of quickly.
The dragon, by the way, is intelligent, speaks English, thankfully.
And sure enough, he does fly straight at the only weapon that can kill it.
And the guy shoots him.
And the guy, by the way, wasn't like Legolas.
He was just a human.
He was just a guy and so he was just a
guy who lived there and had an arrow his son actually brought the good arrow to him you know
he was shooting him with regular arrows it was bouncing off the dragon and then he shows up with
this super arrow thankfully and the dragon i don't know cocky or something flies right to him get
shot and that's the first whatever 15 minutes of minutes of the movie. The next two hours of movie
is a CGI battle scene.
And I don't know
what they were thinking
when they made it.
Like, was it,
fuck,
we're in a whole,
let's just handle this later
until everything gets done in post?
Or were they like,
you know what,
we're gonna use CGI
to make this better
than anything has ever been before.
And it was just silly.
And by the way, so I've been a dwarf proponent through most of the Lord of the Rings series, right?
I feel like they really underestimated, undervalued what dwarves are good at, right?
They're very strong.
They never get exhausted.
They're just like donkeys in terms of traveling.
And they're good fighters.
of traveling and uh and they're good fighters you know when um when uh legolas and the dwarf in the first lord of the rings you know series uh have that battle and who can kill more orcs
the dwarf wins that you know at one point the dwarf falls into like a sea of orcs and uh he
was a couple behind and then he comes back and he's like 137. Like, I just killed every motherfucker that gave me a shot.
And it's like, yeah.
83.
Is that what it was?
That's the extended edition when Gimli's sitting on the body,
and then they're tied at 82 or whatever,
and then Legolas stabs the one that Gimli's sitting on,
and he's like, it wiggles.
And Gimli's like, yes, it wiggles because it's got my axe.
They're better than its novices.
But in the book, I think it was different.
In the book, he falls into the sea of orcs.
And they all think that he's dead.
And then he emerges from it, having killed every motherfucker around him.
And dwarves are very badass.
But in The Hobbitbit it seems like they
took it too far right like like the dwarves are down they're like we really need i forget who's
met thorin or something like we really need his people to there's 14 of them that includes the
hobbit if i recall like there's 13 dwarves and a bad fighter and those 13 rush into the battle and turn the tides you know that that
70 people come at one dwarf and he's like i got these you know you go handle that other problem
that it went outrageous on how good the dwarves were at fighting it was not good at all the thing
that i didn't like about uh also with like the back because you can nitpick these things for
fucking days but um like that lake town the town where all the humans lived, they knew about dragons.
It wasn't like they'd never heard.
As a matter of fact, they still had an arrow that they used.
Dale, you're right.
That they still had that black arrow they used to take down dragons, ost ostensibly in the past and it's like nobody thought to make a couple more of these big crossbows make a few more
arrows in the century or two you've had since your last dragon encounter like no
one did like that I don't know that that was just stone-cold retarded
yeah I was reading or not reading but I was watching videos about you know the
Lord of the Rings mythology and stuff.
And it was some of that stuff I linked to you, Taylor, the other day.
And they were talking about, like, I guess Smaug was just the biggest dragon of his age.
But they were talking about some other dragon that's literally, like, 30 times bigger.
Like, so enormous that it's just incomprehensible.
literally like 30 times bigger.
Like so enormous that it's just incomprehensible. It's pretty
cool to watch those videos because
there's two or three different YouTubers who do these
things and one of them does voices
while he reads
like the script and stuff.
I hope he doesn't like me.
No, he's good.
I've got a couple
AMA questions here.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I guess to everyone,
what superhero would you want to be
so you could have better sex?
You don't want to be the Flash.
No.
Yeah, you've either got friction
or premature issues.
Nothing good about that.
Oh, the friction issue.
I didn't consider that.
You'd be like starting fires.
Yes.
I got the answer. It's Batman. It's Batman because... Oh, the friction issue. I didn't consider that. You'd be like, starting fires. Yes. I got the answer.
It's Batman.
It's Batman because... Oh, because he's a billionaire.
Because he's a billionaire.
That's his superpower. And he's in great shape.
Yeah. Yeah.
The answer's fucking Batman. Beat me.
I think you're...
God, I have so little superhero knowledge
to draw on.
For the...
Huh. So little bandwidth. God, I have so little superhero knowledge to draw on.
So little bandwidth.
Are you on wireless by chance?
Well,
no, I'm hardwired in.
Oh, it must be something else.
Well, it's hard to beat the Batman thing.
Tony Stark, same reason.
That's another good answer. Or the Marvel Universe.
I can tie.
Yeah.
I think Tony might be richer than Bruce.
That's hard to measure.
I don't know.
I'm pretty sure Tony's richer than Bruce.
Who cares?
I do.
Now you know.
Batman's stronger and better looking, right? who cares? I do. Now you know.
Batman's stronger and better looking, right?
Or is there not lore about how good looking these guys are? Stronger for sure.
Stronger for sure, but I think Tony is better looking.
I don't know.
I think Batman might be better looking.
What about that guy with the green ring that can summon things?
You could just summon a bunch of bonded shit or kyle
you wouldn't even need your swing anymore you could just summon new ones but his weakness is
the color yellow so asians you could you could dp girls by yourself yeah that was this is yeah
but yeah he's probably not rich at all. Like in, what was the Watchmen?
In the Watchmen lore, the Martian guy, the big, enormous blue guy.
Dr. Manhattan.
Dr. Manhattan would be like fucking his girl,
but he'd be like, he'd just split himself into many versions of him.
He's over here doing rocket science,
and he's over here solving world hunger, and he's got another version of him over here fucking his girl yeah yeah and
she she she like they're fucking and they finish up and then she goes in the other room and there's
another version of him in there like on a computer like doing some work she's like what the fuck
you can't give me your full attention and he's like why are you mad were you not satisfied like i thought i did great yeah come on you only you couldn't handle a hundred percent of me
if so i think he said something to that effect
i think kyle's right about batman i think that probably is the best answer
yeah because yeah i think so because batman doesn't have a girl. And Tony's kind of settled down with Pepper Potts
in a lot of the comics, it seems, right?
I don't know.
I think Batman's the way to go.
Of course, you're right about the Green Lantern.
With the power of his will,
he can sort of just create matter from energy
to whatever he would like it to be
and make some sort of crazy,
like, you know,
like one of those Japanese pornos
with all the tentacles.
He could do that to a chick.
There'd be so many chicks into that.
Let's see.
Flash is bad.
You wouldn't want the Flash.
It'd be like that vampire fucking in True Blood
that just looks really painful.
Women seem to like it.
Yeah, that's because it's a fictional
story written by a...
I thought it was written by a woman.
As soon as they come around and they see the vampire
in real life, and his
cold, clammy
hands
and his
bloodless dick
just kind of sadly hangs there.
You know what I always wondered, Taylor?
Just as an experiment, can you try
restarting Skype?
I don't know.
I always wondered if the vampires
in True Blood ejaculated, because there's
so much vampire sex.
What are they shooting? Because my fear
is it's blood, right?
That would make sense right that
they're ejaculating blood i mean they cry blood right exactly so there's a precedent for other
bodily fluids really turn you off right like like like i i mean it would especially
got a big bloody load all over your face i feel like the swallowing aspect gets a little trickier
when it's their blood, right?
Now, maybe you wouldn't...
We've seen the effects of drinking that vampire
blood and true blood. I might swallow a load or two.
Oh my god, if only I ejaculated
truffles. This is a good question.
Like, would you suck a vampire's
dick
if the
blood he ejaculated was gonna make you sort of a superhuman right is that what
happens yeah yeah i thought that was like a drug that made you high well it's it's it's that but
it makes you feel euphoric and incredibly powerful and it makes you powerful it makes you stronger
and it makes you heal like it makes you a super person for a
temporary amount of time so anderson silver and brock lesnar would totally test positive for
vampire blood yeah yeah absolutely like it would increase your your physical uh prowess like a lot
of those people were taking the vampire blood as like a sex drug because it was giving them
incredible stamina and strength and all that stuff like it's almost as good as rhino 50k is that stuff worth a darn
i don't know not sure okay oh someone sent me one it wasn't one of you guys was it i didn't
send you anything it showed up in the mail there was a it's just one i haven't used it yet and uh
i i saw i was like this is a sex pill and And let me see. He says, I'm sorry.
Choose wrote.
He's like, just one LOL.
Hope it was sealed.
It was.
It was totally sealed.
It's the same that Kyle has.
Like, there's a hologram on the front of it.
And the pill looks gigantic.
But apparently, it's in a pill holder of some sort.
And I will give it a go.
I showed it to Jackie.
And I was like, I was curious about this.
And she's like, hey, let's party.
So I strongly recommend the Cialis.
Like this is kind of like a gag purchase.
And maybe that worked.
Maybe it didn't.
I don't know.
Maybe I was just having a good night.
But Cialis, you're not confused as to whether it did anything.
No, no.
It's, I won't even compare it.
Like I've put 110 octane in my car.
And it's like, I can't tell the difference.
I can't. The car, I'm sure, can.
If I put it on a dyno, there'd be
some minor difference. Maybe it's
getting 8 or 12 more horsepower or something.
But it's imperceivable to the driver.
3% better.
Yeah. This is like
15% better.
It's a
noticeable difference. You're like,
whoa, whoa, whoa, this is different.
We barely got going here, and
we were at 120%.
We were at maximum capacity
as I refer to it.
Cialis is just no fucking
joke.
Jackie's asking for one minute,
but Kyle would be the only guy here.
No, go ahead. I'll read another AMA question, and then I'll answer myself.
Okay.
I'll be right back.
Tell them to sing and dance.
She says sing and dance.
One minute.
I can't dance.
I'm actually going to use this time to tell you, you need to go to Sarah XXX's subreddit
and score me some brownie points over there.
See if she wants to go on.
Get out of here, Taylor.
See if she wants to go on Get out of here, Taylor. See if she wants to go on
a free vacation and have
some fun.
I have a
Canon 7D.
I have a lot of box lighting.
No pun
intended.
I have some
Photoshop skills if you're interested
in that.
Usually get a nice scenic locale. I think that goes a long
way. We could rent a clown
if you're into that.
Who are you trying to sway into?
Sarah XXX, the
girl on Reddit.
The really hot
young lady who posts
all the pictures and gifs and videos of herself
doing solo sexual acts
that I'm just such a fan of.
Every morning I get up and I
flick through Reddit and I stop at those
NSFW posts and it's like, oh, there she
is. There's my favorite.
There she is. Where'd Woody go?
He had to step away to do something
with Jackie, so I
told him that I would continue on on his set.
It's just been me for
just a few seconds, and then you
rudely intruded.
I was hoping to carry
this on for a while, but now that you're here,
I'll look for another AMA question.
That's okay. I'll go.
What would be the perfect PKA adventure
slash vacation, and what would you guys
do, and where would you go?
Colorado, and Sarah XXX would come along. That would be the perfect one. I think that would be real nice. slash vacation and what would you guys do and where would you go for the colorado and and and
sarah triple x would come along that would be the perfect one i think that would be real nice
um no vegas uh nevada in general is kind of what we're looking at right now is like a fun one to
do next year um they have all the things we enjoy um and gambling um and you know the desert's cool
i don't know if for anyone who's never been to the desert,
it's fucking cool.
It's not something that I'd want to live in or around
for more than ever,
but it's cool to visit.
I've never seen the Grand Canyon, so
you can knock that out while we're there.
Well, that'd be fun.
Yeah, I'm sticking to the
prostitution thing.
Yeah, big fan of that.
Will PKA plays ever come back?
I don't know.
I'm lagging back.
No, probably not, because Woody doesn't really game,
and I don't have the internet connection right now to do it as I'd like to.
There's a bunch of places not too far from here with Google Fiber
that I've been looking at, so that's a potential
thing in the future.
They have Google Fiber in Georgia?
Yeah, in Atlanta.
I was looking at apartments that have Google Fiber
available to them, and
they're like $1,100, $1,200 apartments,
so they're a little bit more expensive
than what I would have to pay in Athens,
but Google Fiber certainly would be nice.
It would.
So there was one for me.
It was a good question, so I thought I'd grab it.
Woody, you said that you left your 9 to 5 jobs
because you were jealous of Kyle and his non-traditional job.
That's true.
I think you phrased it a little harshly,
but he's on target there.
Yeah, right?
Because I think jealousy implies that one.
Inspired.
That's way better. Yeah, right? Because I think jealousy implies I'm one of them. Inspired. That's way better.
Yeah, yeah.
It is better.
Now that you've achieved that goal yourself,
is there anyone new that you find yourself jealous of their lifestyle?
Kyle and Taylor, who are you jealous of?
I use this analogy all the time.
Like my life, if I rolled a 20-sided die, I hit like an 18 or something, right?
So it's not that I want to change things.
I'm pretty happy with how they are.
But sometimes I look at aspects of other people and just want to like pick and choose.
There's one guy, Tucker Gott, who's like the big paramotor YouTuber.
You'd think there wouldn't be a thing, but he's at like half a million subs and growing well.
That's cool um anyway he took a trip to iceland this summer which was pretty amazing uh while i
was laying in bed healing my broken leg he won that icarus race i talk about from time to time
you know it's going to be in africa next time it was in america this year and tucker won it
and that was a really neat experience and uh you know like it our lives as a whole
i don't think i want to swap but like he's doing the coolest stuff and sometimes it's like man like
i he's really doing this thing right and i i envy you know or i'm inspired to to kind of do some
things right too uh But yeah, anyway,
he's actually doing the van life thing shortly,
which I know that Taylor and Kyle don't want to mirror.
But he's, I don't know,
like at first he flies in Iceland,
then he flies across like America from north to south.
And now he's like, I'm going to have this van.
And it's not that he's like homeless in a van,
but he's going to be, he's going to have no strings, right? I got no strings. And, and if the weather is good in
fucking Alaska or South Carolina, or if there's a fly-in in Indiana, he'll go to all of them with
this traveling home and just live a life of no strings for a little while. And that's kind of neat.
And maybe I'm envying it extra because for the last year, like, we've been extra tethered to the house.
And, you know, it's, like, super appealing right now.
But, yeah.
Anyway.
I got a morbid suggestion.
Mother-in-law passes away, inevitably.
God rest her soul.
Suggest to Jackie that we spread her ashes somewhere nice ah yes she will not see through that at all from the paramotor yeah now that's a
video yes tucker hasn't done that shit no he hasn't tucker's a great guy by the way i i met him i don't know how many times
get up to 5 000 feet just dump that thing right behind you into the props just just disperse her
everywhere over the grand canyon potentially no fly zone but i like the way you're thinking
uh you know somewhere fancy yeah yeah africa don't put her on that dark continent right i don't know
anything about her but old people are often racist i bet she wouldn't like that at all
it's like something that strikes them you know like but uh um
i'll have to think of a spot maybe Maybe she'd want to be spread across Australia
or who knows.
I should jokingly
pitch this to Jackie.
What if we took your mom's ashes,
put them through the prop,
and spread them out someplace nice?
Maybe Iceland.
Ask her about that and
come back to us.
Yeah, I'll let you know what she says.
She'd be a good sport about it.
But yeah, Tucker's the only guy that comes to mind
because he's doing amazing things right now.
Like grabbing life experiences that most people won't.
And I think that's cool.
Would you be the first person on Mars?
I'm going to answer one more of these.
Would you be the first person on Mars? Absolutely fucking to answer one more of these would you be the first person on Mars
absolutely fucking not no
there's no Mars and in
parenthesis he's got
he says think of all the
Martian pussy you could be slaying that's
exactly why I wouldn't be the first person
on Mars now if you say like first
no no
there's no pussy on Mars
I would have to want to die.
Like, that would be a thing.
That question to me translates directly to, would you like to go out in a blaze of glory?
And my answer is, well, when?
You know, if I'm like 67 and I feel like all my cool days are used up. Yeah, maybe.
Maybe, yeah.
Fucking spoke me on a spaceship.
We'll go to Mars.
I'll live till 67 and a half
and I'll go down in history.
Maybe.
I don't know.
There are a lot...
People get a warped sense of what old is, right?
Like Chiz was saying in text earlier
that he's like,
when I'm 50, I'm done.
I'll just kill myself.
And I'm sure he was not, it's not being serious,
but it was like, yeah, old age sounds terrible.
I'm just gonna do a shotgun at 50, 50.
I'm like, dude, I'm like 45 in a couple of months.
Take it from me, 50 is not time yet, right?
You've gone too early.
And I just said 67.
I don't know how I'll feel when I get there,
but somewhere there will be a time.
At 70, I'm like, you know what?
I just can't do anything cool anymore.
Let's go to Mars.
So there's my answer.
Taylor?
I don't want to say anything in case I'm all body.
Am I good?
So far, you're good.
Oh, okay.
No, fuck that.
Go away.
So you seem ambivalent about it.
No, no.
Very staunchly against it.
I am not in the mood for that.
There isn't any part of you
that wants to do this adventure?
Nope, nope.
Not even a modicum hidden in my toe.
Not zero percent. No.
Really?
Yeah. No desire. Hypothetical
single Woody would be dead by now.
There is a lot of shit that I don't do
because I'm
held back by a sense of responsibility.
There's no way I would live
through my impulses.
One more question before we wrap. What are some of the best
shows to watch on HBO?
In this order,
depending on whether you like
Cops and Robbers or Gangsters,
The Wire and Sopranos are pretty close
to each other.
For me, it's The Sopranos and then The Wire.
For a lot of people, it's the other way around.
I really like Boardwalk Empire.
Woody's not a huge fan of it.
I also like true blood
um a little gay i guess um and uh what am i leaving off here what's the question i don't
see it best hbo shows best shows to watch on hbo okay oh there it is. Second from the bottom.
Those are my favorites.
I was so occupied.
For me, Game of Thrones is probably top.
Wire is probably second.
And it drops a bunch
from there. What else is really good?
Sopranos.
That's really good. And it holds up.
Yeah.
But it's also third Yeah
For me it's
I don't know where I put
The top three are really fucking hard
The Wire is fucking excellent
Some of the best writing that's ever been on television
And they tell both sides of this cop and
Drug dealer story and both are
Filled with wonderful characters
with character development and the politics of Baltimore.
It's really about Baltimore and everything that's going on there and the dirtiness of
it.
And then The Sopranos is all about Tony Soprano, so it's more of a character-driven thing.
It's Tony's show.
And then Game of Thrones, we all know what Game of Thrones is.
I like Boardwalk Empire a lot.
It's as much about...
Steve Buscemi is sort of
the star of the show it's sort of character driven in that regard but it also focuses on atlantic
city a lot and i like true blood if you like vampires like i don't know i i really enjoy
true blood but yeah those are my favorites i like true blood more than boardwalk yeah yeah
first two seasons of Boardwalk are excellent.
It goes downhill from there.
I like James Darmody.
I really like Richard Harrow's character,
the guy with half a face who's fucking just hard fucking core.
To me, it seemed like sometimes he was vulnerable romantic and other times he was curiously effective assassin
and that dichotomy didn't play well with me oh i i i thought that worked well all right you guys
want to call the show yeah yeah yeah sure uh so check out our uh sponsors links down
description below movement watches smart mouth simple contacts and uh bespoke post SmartMouth, Simple Contacts,
and Bespoke Post.
Also check out Harley.
All of his wonderful things.
Pink already.
I just read what Taylor wrote.
I am beyond a cut?
No, no.
I was making fun of Kyle for reading it so slowly. I'm trying to entertain me.
Pink you're already.
362.