Painkiller Already - Painkiller Already #363
Episode Date: December 8, 2017This week on PKA, the infamous Ice Poseidon is on and he shares many gay and interesting stories like where he shoves soap, how he's got a dick hand shake with close friends and he of course licks dic...k for fun.
Transcript
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Painkiller Ready, episode 363 with our guest Ice Poseidon.
Kyle?
Yeah, a couple sponsors tonight.
Movement Watches, Lyft, Omaha Steaks, and MeUndies coming back.
So we'll get to them later on in the show.
There's links down in the description if you just can't wait to get those deals on underwear.
But yeah, we got Ice Poseidon on the show.
How's it going, man?
Hey, what's up, guys?
How you doing?
Good.
Pretty good.
Ice.
First of all, I'm psyched to have you on the show.
I've watched your streams here and there.
Mostly, not because... Look, I'm not your demo.
I bet you don't have a lot of 44-year-old dads watching you, right?
And I think that leads...
So I watch it.
Mostly, I just want to know, like,
what the flip is the phenomenon going on here, right?
You've got tons of people watching you.
You can't sit down at a restaurant without, like,
the fire department showing up. Like, i want to know one like what's the magic and two
how the magic has like impacted who you are like it has it well the uh the i mean live streaming
in general is is pretty like i don't know it's pretty interesting because it's all live and
viewers can be a part of it you know i mean calling the fire department don't know, it's pretty interesting because it's all live and viewers can be a part of it.
You know, I mean, calling the fire department
is like a bad, it's like a bad thing
that sometimes they do,
but it's like just one of the examples
that people can be involved in like a,
you know, negative or positive way,
depending on what it is.
And I mean, I don't know,
I don't really think there's too much magic behind it.
I just think people like to be involved.
Why'd they pick you?
Like, like... Well, I mean, there's not much magic behind it i just think people like to be involved and why they pick you like like well i mean there's other many okay there's uh not that many irl streamers out there um so i mean i don't know and i've been doing it for so long people are just there you
know what i mean people just have been with me for a long period of time i feel like part of
this show forgive me i'm not i'm not i'm that... I'm not up to speed with everything that you do.
So the way your viewers often get involved is,
you know, like some streamers,
like they'll pay a dollar for you.
They'll like order the police or fire department
to wherever you are.
And that's just good natured participation.
I mean, I'd hope some people wouldn't.
But yeah, sometimes it does
happen, unfortunately, but
for the most part, people prefer to
do other things
to be positive.
What I like is that you've sort of embraced
that part of the community.
You've recognized that this is
kind of part of the demographic that's watching.
They like to get rowdy.
I'm going to get swatted occasionally.
The cops are going to show up at Best Buy.
Just embrace this because it's like fighting the current.
You're never going to win, but if you just ride with it, you can go on a nice, fun trip.
Yeah, I mean, you definitely – when you go live, there's not really much you can do to prevent something like that.
You can only do so much, so you just kind of have to deal with it until it just
gets handled
another way.
But for the most part, it's not that much of a problem.
And the thing that's a main problem
are people just calling everywhere I go, but
that's impossible to stop.
I don't care what people say.
Kyle says you roll with it. Is that true,
or is it like a real
point of stress in your actual life when these people like fuck with you all the time?
The calling I just roll with because there's literally nothing you can do about that.
It's never going to stop.
But with the swatting and stuff, like I – that creates like tons of unnecessary stress in my life.
So I did what I had to do to take care of that.
And I haven't been swatted in like two months now.
It's been great.
I think we took care of the situation.
I was one of the old school swatters.
I got swatted.
The police started calling in advance.
They'd be like, what are you, you really killing your wife?
I'm like, no, no.
They had my cell phone and stuff.
They almost killed me.
Like I didn't know it.
Well, do you say what happened?
Yeah. So this is before swatting was as popular as it is now call it like 2012 or 13 something like that and i i have it in
my head that a lot of swat teams now know about the practice but back in the day if they heard
that you know some guy had just killed his wife and his son and here's his daughter on the phone
hiding under the bed they They just believed that shit.
I believed it when I heard it about Woody.
Yeah, well.
To be fair.
Note to self, no character witnesses from the show.
So our regular listeners know this,
but basically what happened is I had just finished a stream or something,
and my wife was like, there's people hiding in the yard.
We don't know what the scoop is. I just finished a stream or something, and my wife was like, there's people hiding in the yard.
We don't know what the scoop is.
I look outside, and just for like an instant,
a flashlight turns on and off.
We had this big oak tree in our front yard,
and they were hiding behind it.
It turns out what had happened is the SWAT team
was hiding in bushes and behind trees and things like that
for 90 minutes,
right?
Hour and a half.
They're out there casing my house, just scoping it to see what's going on.
If you had been murdering your wife and children, they'd be in little bits in the bathtub.
Yeah.
What the fuck were they doing?
You've already eaten Kyle's liver.
It's over.
So I heard two versions of this.
When I spoke to them personally, they said, you know what?
We were watching your house and everything was like kind of like someone went up went up went to the bathroom went back to bed and they're like that's
not normal hostage behavior so we pretty much knew it wasn't real but i heard them interviewed by
like npr or something like that and there was like the apex SWAT team on this radio interview
and the guys like we were going to kill someone that night and it's really weird like driving
into work knowing that you'll most likely kill someone you know it was stressful on me on you bitch so yeah
so anyway um some they they knock on the door or bang on the door or something like that they don't
identify themselves so i i don't know what's up and i grab grab a gun. I think it was a shotgun. And I head down the front steps.
And they're like, open up.
And I'm like, who the fuck are you?
And then they said they were the police or the SWAT team or something.
So I put the gun down and I opened it.
It turns out what happened was next door, there were two glass windows.
It's a normal front door, right?
And they could see up my stairs.
And they saw my wife, who was supposed to be dead.
And that diffused the situation.
They knew the whole thing was a hoax
when they saw my wife alive.
And from my standpoint, I could see them.
But how funny would that have been
if like from up there, Jackie just yelled like, help!
Someone would have died.
The kids are up here!
Somebody help!
From my perspective, I could see him wearing
those black like riot gear helmets
and it said like apex police
or something on the forehead so that's
how I knew that they were I thought they were banditos
hiding in my bushes and
behind my trees and stuff as you might guess
the cartel finally tracked me down
yeah so
so anyway if that glass wasn't there so that we could like
identify each other there might have been a shootout um because of the SWAT team white
yeah that would have been horrible if you opened the door and there was and you pulled a gun on
them they like you might have just actually died yeah right for real like like like it's it's kind
of funny and I tell it as a story but in real life, someone could have died because of that SWAT guy,
because of the guy that pretended to get the SWAT team at my house.
So anyway, yeah.
And to hear the – when they talked to me about it,
they were chill and they acted like they knew the whole time.
When I heard them interviewed on the radio, that was not the story.
It changed 180 degrees.
They – yeah.
They're not going to tell you, like, I'm going to kill you.
Holy shit, you almost just died there, buddy. They're not gonna tell you like I'm gonna kill you holy shit you almost just died there buddy yeah they didn't cover that what was the
worst I guess swatting or police or a firefighter story that's ever happened
to you guys I mean that was pretty bad what what he said I think the worst was
I was in a car and like 30 cops just pull up out of nowhere and
there's like a crowd of like 100 people on the sidewalk here and on the left and right side
and they just like 30 cops just pull come out of their cars they pull shotguns and there's like
helicopters flying over and i'm just like it i'd like shotguns pointed at me and in the car and
they you know tell me to get out have my hands up and I walk backwards. Are you wearing a GoPro on your
head at this point? I was holding
a really big
contraption. I had my video encoder
taped and wrapped to a
selfie stick and it just looked like a giant bomb.
It was just
wires everywhere. It just looked really bad.
So thank God the call was
that I had a knife instead of a bomb because I might
have actually been shot.
I was more embarrassed that the hundreds of people like staring off the sidewalk than me getting a gun pointed at me because you know they were interviewed by the news these
people were like oh you know this guy looks like a criminal or you know some shit i'm like dude
what the fuck are you talking about come on i see you i saw when you got taken off the plane
whenever you got taken off the plane. Whenever you got taken off the plane
and they're interviewing the people who were on the plane,
they're like, yeah, he was very suspicious looking.
He had some sort of a camera.
And if I'm watching it, I'm like, come on.
I'm not suspicious looking.
Like, come on, I'm the right skin tone and everything.
It's clearly just a camera.
Come on, ISIS got a little bit of Al-Qaeda in him, right?
Like he's maybe one quarter ISIS.
Five percent Middle East. He's on the other side. Opposite side.
So, I mean,
if I was, actually, if I was a live streamer
and I was just, like, full, like, I'm just
straight from, like, Dubai or something, it might, I might
be dead right now. Oh, yeah.
But if you were
a live streamer from Dubai, you may have actually had a bomb.
Yeah, right.
That would be a good case
for, I don't know,
what's it, like protests or something? I don't know.
Yeah, if instead of Ice Poseidon,
you were Ice Ahmed,
you wouldn't have lasted this fucking long, my friend.
Like, that Jewish heritage is
keeping you alive every day.
Yeah, there's just that
joke in my community when
this was rampant a few months ago.
It's like, thank God he's white, or otherwise he'd be dead.
I mean, this is kind of funny.
I kind of agree on that, too.
If I was like, really, people can just be, I don't know, the police can just be biased.
Yeah, yeah.
If you were one shade darker, you're a dead man.
Forget being black or Middle Eastern.
Just one shade darker.
I mean, I saw you in Florida the other day. I'd stay out of the sun if i were you yeah i know i don't want to get tapped i like being white um i the real reason that i like
my first exposure to you was from reddit like you're every it seems like every two or three
days something from your subreddit will hit the front page.
And that was where I was like, I have to see this ice thing that's going on.
How?
What did you see on the front page?
Because usually it's not anything that good.
Usually they're just complaining.
They're not the sort that just loves anything and everything you do on that subreddit.
No, definitely not. Has it bother you at all like does it ever like like hurt your feelings when they just like you
know they're like oh my god i've heard i don't even know what rate they're like isa 120p or 380p
and i'm like why are they like does it bother you at all i mean it it's most of the posts don't really bother me
although the only posts
that really bother me
sometimes are like false accusation
posts or like a
post telling me like
that you cheat on your girlfriend
or you fake something
because it's just not true at all
I don't want to remove it because it's like freedom of speech
but when it gets like 5,000 upvotes and it's on the front page of all and it's like i don't want to remove it because it's like freedom of speech but it's just when it gets like 5 000 upvotes it's on the front page of
all it's like now all these people who don't know what's going on think i'm some sort of like
horrible piece of shit i'm like all right well fuck you know what i mean uh not not that this
about me i was always the opposite the ones that bothered me the most were the true ones
like like you know od your color correction sucks.
And I'd be like, yeah, it really did.
I mean, I don't know.
Do you think you would get like hurt, like personally hurt if people were posting like really like things about you like that all the time?
They did.
Yeah.
Back in, this is a while ago, like 2012 or 13.
I was like the villain of COD for no reason that i could like get on board with
and uh yeah channels would just make hate videos about me all the time and that's what i remember
i used to watch you and you're like the guy who did like uh the mailman you're just really clean
putt dude you're like everyone else is like yeah fucking cod fucking blah blah blah and you're like
and here i'm with my family and I'm playing cult.
But there is always that element of like, I know the true Woody,
this master of propaganda pulling all the strings behind the scene.
And then people would buy that.
Some would anyway, just be like, oh, yeah.
Someone says, I've got the inside scoop.
In the background, this guy's doing all these terrible things.
And they would just eat it up.
And there was an element of that that just ran with it.
You get what I mean.
I don't know.
In the end, it was a pretty good ride.
I like you too.
I mean, you did donate all those dance contest winnings to Boko Haram.
I mean, yeah.
Actually, the dance contest winnings I kept, the King of the Wed stuff
I all gave to...
Al-Qaeda, that's right.
To write love on her arms is who it was.
They still hit me up for more money.
The Albanian terror cell, write love on her arms.
Anti-suicide group.
Yeah, anyway.
Write love on her arms.
That's the name of an anti-suicide group?
It might be her arms.
I imagine a girl carving it in then like yeah in nice cursive underneath it says like
you know go down the road not across the street you know and that's their saying i think that it
has some reference to track marks like they're pulling people out of like you know who just
yeah i don't know oh like drug addicts yeah maybe yeah but back on ice all this when you uh
oh go ahead when you saw when you saw the uh let's say like these weird reddit posts on the
front page what were you just thinking about it because like that's what i always want from like
want to know if like an outsider's perspective yeah let me let me jump in here because like i
so before i watched your streams i was always catching this shit on red your subreddit so i said and it was always negative shit it was uh first of all i see
some of the meanest shit like like these guys are fucking creative like like i'm sure a bunch
of the what do they call themselves the purple army or something like that these guys are some
of the most creative mean motherfuckers in existence because i because like they attack
your girlfriend ruthlessly oh whoa this is just a pic of you holding a Hitachi magic wand on some chick. That's great
Yeah, we're gonna get to that later
Sorry, sorry
But yeah, so I was seeing all this stuff
And it's just like all this this hate directed toward you and I was like ah this must be like h3s
Subreddit or whatever it but no no it's yours
fucking subreddit is where it's coming from and i would ask like these guys and i'd ask other
friends and people i know hey what what's what's this ice beside dude that everybody hates so much
is he like uh is he like a communist or is he like like what's his deal does he kick a baby
once like like what what does he do because all i i saw him the other day like on some porn star with a hitachi and that was bad fucking ass like that was pretty fucking cool and
and everything else i've seen has been fucking hilarious i don't get it what's with the hate
so like honestly it's all the communists and little did you know i was just late to stream that day
honestly it got me curious about you like like i wanted to know why people were hating so much,
and that got me watching your streams,
and I realized that I think it's just kind of part of the show.
They don't hate you.
They love to hate you, if that makes sense.
It's a love-hate relationship.
I dig it.
It's definitely a weird relationship between the community
and the content creator, for sure.
Although sometimes it could be negative, because people actually hang around with in real life uh they're
like they don't like it they they don't like it and hated or roasted on reddit they don't like
and new people i hang out with they get immediately just doxxed and found and
hated and i mean it's kind of funny in like weird way, but not really. It's still negative, so it's like people don't really want to hang around me.
Yeah.
I guess that is a big negative.
People don't want to be around me.
I was worried about that aspect of it earlier.
Because there's some real negativity in your audience that spreads to the people you know.
This has to have – I feel like what they've done, if they've given you money and they stripped away all the good things in life, like now you can't go anywhere. You can't
have friends. Your girlfriend's going to get blasted. They're just going to
like pour on negativity and cash. And I wonder like how, like how are you reacting to that?
And how are other people reacting to that? i mean i've been doing it for like
two years now it's just always been the same so i'm like kind of used to like just reading
you know shit posts and stuff i'm just like oh okay this is whatever what you know what but
most other people like new people or that i hang out with or somebody i go and meet for the first
time they're not used to it so the old thing like they'll be like scared to like talk to me ever
again and i'm like you know it's not that big of a deal like scared to like talk to me ever again, and I'm like, you know
It's not that big of a deal until I convinced them to hang out with me
All right, so I want to know the backstory how with the porn star on chatterbait like I saw I saw your massive earnings
Check come in the other day
That that was a 280 to big big money
Wait, what? Oh, did he get that from chatterbait? Is that yeah? Yeah. Yeah. It? Did he get that from Chatterbait?
Yeah.
What's the genesis of that?
How did that happen?
How did the Chatterbait stream happen?
Is this now the Hitachi thing we're talking about?
Yeah, the Hitachi thing.
I promised everybody
at 100,000 subscribers
Chatterbait stream.
Didn't do it because of whatever reason. I was busy with shit.
I'm sure they were forgiving.
No. Every day, dude. Chatterbait
stream on red. Every day, dude.
So I'm like, 300,000 Chatterbait stream.
We got that.
You tripled it.
100,000, you're getting this.
Fuck you guys.
I don't know. It was just like a month later
and then we were just like,
all right, let's make it more like 300K or something.
So we got that.
And then I had to get a girl, so I sent out a message to all these little cam girls that would be interested.
I picked one that had a really interesting background
with a lot of weird drama and stuff.
And I'm like, that's the one that I want to go with
because she's fucking crazy and it's kind of funny um and glow to behold
she was fucking crazy yeah for many reasons uh like but i won't get into that right now
no now's a good time well she said that she's uh sucked me off which is complete bullshit like and
she's like tweeting my girlfriend that she sucked me off and I'm like the fuck are you doing like I
for one did not let you suck me off and for two you're a fucking moron but thank
you for coming on the chatterbait stream like I was I was like thank you for
coming on that's cool we all we you know we both got something out of it but
don't tweet my girlfriend saying that you sucked me off and liking tweets
saying we should break up with my girlfriend and go date you.
Because I'm not going to date a fucking damn girl.
So, yeah, the Chowder Bay stream went well.
I really wasn't trying to fuck on the stream, but she was really trying to fuck.
And I told her beforehand, I'm like, I'm not trying to fuck you on this stream.
And it's just going to be an educational stream about me fingering your pussy or something.
And she's like, all right, you know, educational, that's fine.
And I dress up as a doctor
and then on the stream, she
completely ignores that and tries to fuck me anyways.
I love how you don't have any shoes on and your doctor's
smart. That's fucking hilarious.
Yeah,
I'm definitely not the most professional.
That's why I brought
my friend Andy with me, because
I'm actually, Andy's supposed to help take a, because I kind kind of knew she was gonna try and fuck and it would have put me in
An awkward position because I don't want to fuck on a live stream or camera
I don't want my dick being shown to the public well, and did she know that you have a girlfriend
Yeah, yeah, she's not a top concern
She knew but I mean my girlfriend knows like what I do on stream, and she's okay with like she's not okay with me like
It hurts her, but I'm like alright. She's got something. You just got to get over
It's part of what I do
I mean I think of it like I don't know in like movies and shit
You have like Tom Cruise making out with a girl, and he's married like it's like the same thing right just with her pussy
I don't know but
so
About having sex on a live stream and I don't really want to do that
That's why I brought Andy because if anything Andy said he would have sex on a live stream
But that didn't work out cuz she's Andy this this gentleman
Don't you don't want to wake up as Mexican Andy and he's is that who that is yeah that's good Andy is the good friend of mine yeah he's uh he's the
girl did not want to fuck him though and I don't know it was a really weird
situation but it made for a funny stream I don't know how many people do you have
watching that was it like 30 40 K or something they are my blowing it out of
proportion we we peaked at 40K.
Yeah, I thought so.
It's an important event.
Did that open your eyes a little bit to maybe a future career?
Because you pull good numbers on YouTube IRL and stuff, but 40K is pretty fucking outstanding.
Right, but I mean, if I were to become a Chatterbait star, I can only go so far without showing my penis.
Maybe you could throw a strap-on
on, and you could have an enormous
penis, and you could just wear it over jeans.
That's actually a good idea.
I'd suck a banana or something
through my pants.
But if that becomes your career,
why would you care about your dick being out there?
Who cares?
Or I guess your girlfriend probably.
Shit.
If my dick's ever on the internet, I will never get sponsored by anybody, Who cares? Or I guess your girlfriend probably. Shit.
If my dick's ever on the internet, I will never get sponsored by anybody.
Which is like, could be a good portion of my income sometimes.
So I'd rather not have my dick on the internet.
And also, 20 years down the line, I don't want my kids, if I have kids, fucking looking at this shit.
Like, oh, why do you have your dick fucking with this porn star?
I'm like, I don't know oh it was funny at the time yeah see now you're just looking at the wrong sponsors you get some adult
sponsors wet platinum lubricant right you get uh maybe maybe those dragon uh dragon dildo sex toys
get some of those involved instead of yeah bad dragons because instead of like a human uh penis
maybe you've got a dragon cock. Maybe you've got some.
Oh, yeah.
Plan B pill.
That'd be an awesome, awesome sponsor.
Because those people bend you over a barrel because they go, you walk in and it's like
fucking $50.
You need it, don't you?
It's like sponsored by Rhino 50K.
You know, you know, that could be your dick pill of choice.
After the Chatter Bay stream, I had all these weird porn like companies message me.
And this one was like a it was like a knockoff Viagra.
And they were going to pay like $5,000 an hour for me to take the pill and masturbate or something.
And I'm like, for $5,000 an hour is a lot of money.
I will consider that.
But masturbating on camera, dude, that's just so fucking weird.
Dude, shoot me their contact info.
Yeah, yeah.
I'm sure you know uh you know wings of redemption i i know you know of him um we had it set up one time we were having our whole discussion on the show and we were like we
asked him you know how much money would we do this sort of what would you what would you do for x
amount of money thing all the time and we're like how much money would it take for you to act as a
porn star and do like a legitimate porno and he was like ah it'd be like five thousand dollars man you'd have to have some
big money and we were like we were like well shit give me five minutes and like the band gets
together and we find like a porn producer who's like yeah i got a girl i got five grand cash for
big man let's make it happen and then he could totally like, oh,
no, I'm not doing it. I'm not doing it. I'm not doing it. Yeah, that would have
a sub reached out to me who knew a porn producer. That's how that went down.
And he's like, you guys serious? And I'm like, well, for my part, I'm serious. And
I'm more than willing to pass your offer on to wings to have him do a porn. And and then he knew
a guy and he showed me the whole conversation. You know guy was like oh i don't know like so many guys want to be in in porn like
is he hot does he have a giant dick and he's like no quite the opposite but he's very popular on
youtube and you know he brings this he brings this audience with him and he's like all right we're in
yeah yeah i mean i i would never want my dick on the internet,
but I'd probably do a porno for like
probably like $100K, I'd do a porno.
Oh yeah, for sure.
I mean,
it'd be worth it. I'd just put all that in Bitcoin
or something, it'd be worth it.
I wouldn't need to care about my future at that point.
So you've never uploaded like an anonymous
You think if you have $100K
you don't need to care about your future?
I mean...
You had 100k worth of Bitcoin two weeks ago.
What was I going to say?
Fuck.
Bitcoin, porn, 100k.
I was going to ask Taylor
and maybe Ice.
Have you ever anonymously uploaded
a pornographic video of yourself
to the interwebs? I pornographic video of yourself to the
to the interwebs no i have a video of me online yeah with my penis out but i'm not doing anything
i'm just naked yeah i uploaded it to the pornhub like i don't know like years ago just for shits
and gigs and it's just like random letters i I just like on the keyboard. Oh my God. Someone's going to find it.
Is it just you?
It's just you standing around?
Like no.
Yeah, no.
I mean, I'm not just standing around.
I'm like, I don't know, man.
I was like working out.
I was like doing pushups and shit.
I saw this one video online that was like really funny.
So I was like, oh, I wonder if we can get any views from doing this.
I'm like, so I did it.
It was just the stupidest fucking thing.
I'm like hairy as fuck.
I didn't shave. I used, I'm like literally you can barelyest fucking thing. I'm like hairy as fuck. I didn't shave.
I'm like literally, you can barely see my dick
because I'm like tiny as fuck. So I'm working out.
And it was, yeah, I look like
a fucking like sweet.
I'm sure that won't be posted to either of our subreddits
by Sunday.
I'm going to have to try
and, now that I said it, delete that.
You don't want to get on that
before, well, before midnight tonight. You don't want to get on that before midnight
tonight.
I've uploaded some
anonymous pornographic material onto
the interweb. Maybe I'm with
a lady and we keep faces out of it.
Throw it up on Pornhub.
See what the general audience is thinking.
I wonder if I've ever jerked off to Kyle
not knowing.
You definitely have.
I've got about 80,000 anonymous subscribers over there.
They don't know whose dick they're watching, but...
Oh, I was doing it to the YouTube videos.
My mistake.
Was the girl okay with that, or did you just...
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
She was definitely...
Yeah, I wouldn't do that without...
When you're in Kyle's room, you're always being filmed.
You thought I could sit for him when you walk in.
Continuously recorded while on the premises, etc.
Non-disclosure.
It's pretty boilerplate, really.
It's on an iPad.
Just sign with your finger.
Open up my consent app.
I used to want to do
hitting camera
porno stuff because I just thought it was
really funny, so I would, like, record, like,
me, a sexual encounter with a girl, and I just
wouldn't tell her, and I just upload it.
That, uh, I think that's
a felony. It depends on the stage.
I mean, I'll get it, I mean, you know, whatever, dude.
But if your face isn't in the video...
I'll blur my face.
I don't know, I mean, I don't know.
If you just blurred your own face that would be the biggest
piece of shit move in the history of porn
where you're like oh shit I almost uploaded this stock
I gotta get in there and edit
alright just me
I like the pornos where they blur the guy's face
if I'm being honest
I sort of gravitate towards those
because I never ever want to see the expression
on the dude's face
they're usually sweaty and they got some weird face going.
I don't need to see that.
Like I really hate Japanese porn when they blur the genitals,
but I love the fake casting couch porn.
And my new one that I found is like this guy's like a shopkeeper of some kind,
like a Best Buy employee, and he like catches some hot chick stealing,
and he like takes her in the back, and he's like, well, what are we going to do with you?
We caught you stealing cameras.
Maybe we'll work it out back here.
And then he bangs her in the back room.
And sometimes her mom's there watching, and the mom's like, this is what happens when you steal.
This is just what happens.
And she's just sucking a dick or whatever.
Those are some of my favorites.
Do you like the story ones, like where there's a whole to well it sounds like you do with like the best
by fiasco well you know they're like oh i can't possibly afford this vizio sound bar
come on back you know like that like i i like amateur like i like to be able to know that it's
like more spontaneous and going like it's like the casting couch thing i don't even like that because the like the dude walks over with the camera way too steady and then her being
like just coy enough that it's obvious that she knows it's like this isn't this is yeah yeah yeah
i discovered those were fake when um i was watching it and the chick's fingernails changed
like like in what in the early in the shot she had like her her nails were not done and then
later in the shot you looked and her nails had been done and i was like oh shit this is filmed
over a couple of days they do it and then sometimes they do like uh they over hype the
you know i'm really shy oh yeah i bet you're shy and then it'll be like a star wipe to just her
asshole just getting fucked on that couch you know the clock went from 605 to 611
you're real shy aren't you yeah yeah the amateur is definitely better because uh i mean i don't
like when girls play up when they're like sucking a dick or something they just play it up too much
and it's not really entertaining to watch just fake it's like you honestly believing that the
waitress is flirting with you.
It's like, no, she's at work. She's trying
to do shit. That lady's really
hamming it up in bed. Anyway, Kyle, sorry.
That's why I despise strippers, is that
fakery, that bullshit.
Well, then explain how that differs from prostitution
because you've said you don't have a problem with that.
Don't you see that as the same kind of fakery?
Well, prostitution, you don't have to do anything.
You just give them the money and you fuck them. You don't have to like do anything you just give them the
money and you fuck them you don't have to talk to them the stripper is pretending she's going to
fuck you and leeching your money the prostitute is like i'll fuck you it's 200 and i'm like i
can get on board with this is certain honesty in that this is pragmatism it's that you dislike
it's not the her pretending to do something so like you don. Well, that's what it is. It's her pretending
that there's a chance she might fuck you.
That's the whole thing. There's this flirtatious
thing where she's
trying to get into the mind of the customer and be like,
oh, I've never seen a
normal man before in here
in the strip club. I'm interested.
Oh, you've got a whole pocket full of ones?
How impressive.
This is shit she's seen before.
I'm not showing her anything she hasn't seen before.
She's leading you on with her horse shit.
I really despise that.
We're talking about dicks.
Chiz, our producer, linked me with some information.
I had to ask, is it true
that if I come to your place,
I have to show you my dick?
Is that a thing?
I've heard this. Do you have some sort of rule that when people enter your house they need you need to see their penis oh you're talking to me um yeah well none of us
have that rule i have a rule well i have a rule it's just like if you want to be like close friends
with me i have an initiation process well first of all, how did you find out about this?
Cause that's,
well,
we have our sources,
you know,
we had a research team look into you before you came on.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I have this initiation where when you come in,
we'll sit on the couch,
we'll talk and then we'll be like,
all right,
let's see how much we can trust each other.
Let me stand up and we all get our pants off.
And we pull boy dicks out
Everybody's hands to themselves I hope and well, you know
For was it kind of like a really gay kind of chicken where it's like, oh, you know
Are you secure enough in your masculinity to touch the head of my cock? Oh, I am
Last one to come on it has to eat the pizza. Is that the deal?
If it's like somebody new well, you know, just if you on it has to eat the pizza is that the deal if it's if it's like
somebody new well you know just if you want to pull your dick out all right you can we're not
by the way we're not i'm not like forcing people to pull their dicks out we ask them like hey do
you want to pull your dick out because it's funny and they're like oh yeah sure um so and then if
we do it we'll do it and then it's just like okay now we can trust each other we did and we do the
fucking dick handshake where i grab their dick, they grab mine, we shake.
And that's it.
The fucking pact is complete. We can trust each other
with anything now and it's all good.
How many
of these dick pals do you have?
Is it an exclusive group or is it
a couple dozen people?
It's pretty much an exclusive group and a couple
of other streamers that I've uh hung out with but or anyone i mean not a lot of people named andy too yeah um
so you and andy have done the old sausage shake multiple times so yeah i mean new people that
come in it's just they show the dicks me and my friends like kyle or my roommate we'll like
touch our dicks and we'll like uh fuck a pizza
or something like have sex with something in front of each other and sure sure and we'll see if we
how fast we can get hard it's like a race like who can get hard first i mean we've never come
in the same room no that would be gay
but i've offered i was like hey i'll give you 100 bucks if you can come in front of us and
no one can ever do it because i'm not actually gay, but we get hard at least.
Okay.
I love this.
Man, that went so much in a winding path I didn't know it was going to go.
I feel like you would want to have a rule where you didn't want your male friends to take their dicks out.
Maybe take your tits out when you show up.
Yeah, does this mean you can't trust women?
Well, that's a no. I mean, that might cause for sexual harassment or something. Take your tits out when you show up. Does this mean you can't trust women? No.
That might cause for sexual harassment or something.
A man can't call for sexual harassment,
so it's okay.
That's actually pretty smart.
I don't have a whole women theory.
If a woman walks in and I'm like,
you gotta pull your tits out or something,
that's just like,
she's gonna report that to somebody.
I'm gonna get fucked.
You're gonna be live streaming from county in about an hour and a half.
And another gentleman will be asking to see your dick.
And I feel like tits isn't the same level of commitment, though, right?
Like, I really feel like she's got to show some badge to trust me.
No, no, no.
See, that's the equivalent.
I've been through this many times.
See, you've been out of the internet.
You've never been in the internet dating scene.
You're not a Tinder cat.
See, men don't really have an equivalent to tits.
We just don't.
So if I'm talking to...
Nobody wants to see that.
Nobody wants to see that.
Nobody wants sack.
It'd be better if there was no sack.
I think it'd be more aesthetically pleasing.
They should be on the inside.
They should be on the inside.
I'm planning on getting that done.
I was just thinking the same.
I don't want many more kids.
Put them on the inside.
Exactly.
Think of it as birth control.
Yeah, so chicks have shown me their tits, and they're like, oh, what are you going to send me?
And I'm like, I don't know.
What's the fucking equivalent here?
I only got one thing that I could think of to show you i mean
and and so then i show them my hairy feet and and they get really turned off they're never into that
yeah i've actually been on the other side of that and that happened to me too right though
i don't like the the request for a dick pic after they've sent tits because it's like no that's not
that's you're right kyle it's not equivalent like it's almost like you're trying to bamboozle me
into that and if you make me send you a dick pic,
you're going to lose interest
because you probably got 10 other dick pics today.
Ah, keep the mystery going.
Do you guys actually know how to send dick pics
without it being fucking weird?
Yeah, you just don't put your face in the picture.
You never have yourself like,
hey!
I'm totally out of the dick pic game,
but I would assume you try to get the maximum
amount of chub
that doesn't look hard, right?
Just add a little bulk. No?
No, you want to get fully
erect. You want to look like
if she were there right now, she'd be like,
God damn!
Thank you so much! I was going to blow it!
I had no idea! You're such a flaccid dick
so you why would i send a girl a picture of my soft dick and be like hey if you were here this
wouldn't be quite so boring i didn't know i didn't know i i yeah the phone back when i was in the
game not only were there no fucking cell phones but they sure as hell didn't have cameras and GPS
There were so
There is a dude under the tape
If we make carved it in a stone tablet. Actually, you have trouble taking dick pics?
Well, I just don't know how to.
I don't know.
When I was in high school, I'd send dick pics or whatever to my lady friends.
And they'd send me their shit.
And I'm like, all right.
They were like, send me something.
And I'm like, I'm sitting there for an hour trying to get a good picture because I don't know how I'm supposed to do it.
I like my dick's fully hard, by the way.
I wasn't going to send a flaccid penis.
That's interesting.
So I'm like fully hard.
I just shaved like right before the picture as well because I didn't want to be all hairy.
And I'm just like with my face just like straight face fucking dick pic.
And I don't know.
Girls usually don't find it attractive at all. They're just like,
oh, nice.
And your face was in it? Yeah.
Oh, no. That's really fun.
Never put your face in the dick pic.
I try to pose and flex my abs and shit. I don't know.
I feel really just stupid
when I send dick pics. But then once you get one
good dick pic, save it.
I mean, that's a good...
I just didn't know if you were supposed to
send only the dick or your whole fucking shit.
If you look good,
but if the rest of your fucking shit
is gross, then maybe just send the dick.
But is there an angle that works best?
Do you want it to be point of view as if
you're a dude? Do you want it to be like a mirror
shot? I usually go
from the bottom up.
That's a sack pick.
No, no, he's right.
That's the right angle because you can do it faster too
because you can see your phone and you just point it at you
and then you also get whatever muscles you have in there
and then you just have it cut off right at your neck.
Yeah, and they get a view of everything your body balls dick face you know wow so much focused on the
sack because that's nobody wants that like we've already established but you
know and definitely make sure that you're not like all soaked up in lube or
anything or that it's not clear that you've just been jacking off? Portrait or landscape?
I mean, landscape, right?
You've got to get it high quality.
It's going to depend on what you're doing and what angles you're going with, right?
There's many dick pics, but the commonality is dick is always hard.
And if you're going for an artistic flair,
maybe you could go outdoors during the nighttime
and you could get the head of your dick to cover the moon or something like that.
So you get sort of a nice halo around the head of your cock.
That's my favorite shot.
You could do something like that.
This is harder than I thought.
Like the Christ on the cross?
Like the Christ in Catholic churches where his head's there and you can see the sun.
Exactly.
That's just asking to get arrested for public indecency.
I live in the middle of nowhere.
Nobody's looking at my dick out in the yard.
It's just naked time all the time.
Naked Thursdays.
How about the aesthetic of the scrotum in all this?
Do you just let it be how it is?
Do you want it to be all tighter up like when it's cold or looser?
Yes.
Yes.
You want it to be a tight little coin pouch that looks like it's just loaded like
a deadly weapon.
Woody is showing us. That is my fully
clothed dick pic.
I don't care for that.
Your crotch is all
in my face now.
Ice is get to know you game.
Oh yeah.
It would be good.
Would you guys feel comfortable pulling your dick out in front of your friends?
Or is it just, like, people think that's weird, but I don't think it's that weird.
It's only weird if it's, like, contrived.
Like, I feel like if I came over to your house and you were like, hey, take your dick out, man.
I'd be like, probably not.
No, because, but, like, I've played hockey for so many years.
I've gone to so many gyms.
Like, I've showered with hundreds of guys and seen them all naked.
So it's like it doesn't matter.
But it's just if we were showering together after we got all sweaty, then of course.
That's just because you're getting something done.
You have to be naked to shower.
But shaking dicks, who knows?
You seem like a fun guy.
Maybe we'll do it.
It's not like a rape thing.
But it's like if the person doesn't want to do it, we'll do it yeah i mean it's not it's not like a rape thing but it's like
if the person doesn't want to do it we'll just pull our dicks out and if they do it then you
know they do it if they don't they don't i mean most people no one's ever been like offended by
it so it's just funny i don't know are you worried that there's a power imbalance you being a big
streamer pulling your dick i mean this is pretty much the Louis C.K. situation. What happened with him? I love that you don't know that.
Louis C.K.
lost his acting roles, his producing
roles. He's really in a hot spot
right now. You've probably seen lots of people
with sexual assault accusations and problems
in the news.
But he would ask permission first.
He would say, hey, is it okay if I pull my
dick out and jerk off?
Because I like it that you're here.
Do you do that with females or males? Exclusively females. He would say hey, you know is it okay if I pull my dick out and jerk off you know because I like it that you're here and
Females or male yeah, I exclusively females and that's the difference
Yeah, you can get away with it if it's with guys
If you if you went to the if I went to the police and said this streamer ice Poseidon
Coerced me into taking my penis out of his house, and then we shared a mute and then we shared a mutual shake they'd be like get the fuck out of this precinct like no we don't care like
like don't you understand he's bigger on youtube than me and yeah there's a power imbalance i don't
even know i don't even stream on twitch i have no power so you're permaban from twitch oh i didn't
know that sorry for the sore subject right, like, does that bother you?
Is YouTube, you know, happy to have you?
Like, what's the scoop?
I mean, YouTube doesn't really give a shit, from what I can tell.
I mean, they, I have, like, contacts in the YouTube, like, live section, and they give
me, like, some beta access to some, like, stuff to, you know, try out or whatever, but
it's not really that big of a deal
um i don't really care that i'm banned on twitch because i can stream on youtube and it's working
just fine just the only thing that really bothers me is when i try to get sponsors
or when i talk to some like company or something they'll be they'll always bring it up they'll be
like so you're banned on twitch i don't know if that's going to be good for our brand or something they'll be they'll always bring it up they'll be like so you're banned on twitch i don't know if that's going to be good for our brand or something or some shit like that
i'm like it shouldn't matter because that's irrelevant now i have another streaming on
another website it's working out why the fuck does it matter if i'm banned on a site for
what like how does that affect your brand working with me has it impacted you like
is your revenue down or up since the switch? How are we doing?
My revenue is up.
Granted, on Twitch, I didn't have that many subscribers, paid subscribers.
I didn't really make that much money, relatively speaking, to other streamers my size.
Because I did IRL.
You don't really get that much donations and stuff during that.
My revenue is up at the moment, mainly because of better ad revenue and i don't get banned for having text and speech on if something like bullshit gets said i just ignore it
so um but yeah the main thing is when i pitch myself to companies or i go talk to people they
always fucking bring it up and it's like some sort of like negative thing for them and i'm like dude
it shouldn't fucking matter so how did you get banned from twitch i don't think i know the background like um i uh
was dreaming at the airport and uh me being as you know stupid as i am i was just like oh my flight's
gonna take off in like 30 minutes guys so i'll end the stream then. I'm going to, you know, Texas.
And, you know, I'm walking around.
Oh, my gate number is that.
Oh, okay.
Like, I just was very not.
I was like just very careless with like my, where I was.
And, you know, I got swatted.
And then Twitch was like, all right, he's, you know, this is like dangerous for us.
You got swatted at the airport? They showed up at your
gate? On the plane.
That's even worse. The plane landed
in Arizona.
We sat on the plane for an hour, and they
told everybody to shut the windows on the plane.
I didn't fucking listen. I left
my shit open. I saw police pull up,
and I was like, oh, fuck.
He's the only one with the open window.
He's behind us still. I knew they were going police pull up and i was like oh fuck he's the one the only one with the open window he's
i knew they were going there for me because i mean i've been swatted before and i just fucking knew
so i pull my camera out to record it and they come up they pull me out super embarrassing
everyone on the plane's looking at me they probably think i'm some fucking terrorist
and then i sit in the back of a police car for like three hours talk to the fbi and they let me go and they gave me a free hotel and everything and free flight to
texas but and then did they divert the flight because of you um no my layover was in arizona
no okay um but they i definitely everyone missed their flight it was just a horrible experience
was that the first time you did anything wrong? Or was that just the coup de grace?
Did Twitch have a long list of troublesome activities?
I was banned four times prior to that.
It was for stupid reasons.
Three times were because of text-to-speech donations.
I go AFK for my computer and it says the N-word or something,
and I get banned for 24 hours or whatever.
And then I got banned for leaking a girl's phone number on accident.
And then they banned me for the swatting.
And, you know, a few weeks before that,
I had my camera get smashed by, like, this guy at a restaurant.
And there was just a bunch of things that added up, dude,
that, like, kept making it in the news that Twitch, I
guess, didn't really want to deal with.
There's a two and a half minute video.
Can we watch it together?
Yeah.
This is on your channel, yeah.
So if you're listening and you want to watch
along, this is on Ice Poseidon's channel.
It's called Swatted on Plane.
So what
we do is we queue up at zero and then we'll say like three
two one play and we'll all watch it together is everyone queued up oh yeah yep three two one play
yeah so i mean they're coming out through the back of the plane right now, and they're
just, I mean, I just knew, they were staring right at me when they walked in.
Of course.
And they thought it was, like, of course.
And they looked through my bags, they went through everyone's bags, they thought it,
like, hid the bomb somewhere in the fucking plane.
I'm like, dude, I live stream and people do fucked up shit.
They're just like, totally not understanding what the fuck I was talking about.
This would be livid if this happened in a flight.
Oh, right.
What do you mean?
Oh, like if I had to sit there and wait because of this?
Oh, yeah.
Because there's some random-ass dude?
I'd be like, oh, god damn.
Dude, I felt so bad for everyone not playing.
Yeah, the interviews with some of the other people were... Honestly, it kind of pissed me off.
I was glad they were inconvenienced, because they were being shitty to you they were like yeah he was he was suspicious
looking and he had some sort of a uh a go camera and uh i don't know what he was no dude kyle think
about it like four hours into waiting you're and they come up and talk to you you're gonna be like
yeah there probably was something wrong with them it's kind of shitty because the girl I was talking with on the plane was actually interviewed as well and I was
talking to her the whole flight she was like normal we're having a good
conversation and then she literally turns around on the news yeah it's
fucking weird and you saw all the other interviews and then you saw her face
you're like oh okay one redeeming one and then she he's kind of a fucking creep you know yeah we just stopped talking about bombs and homemade
explosives he asked me if i wanted to shake his dick it was very hot i admire that you still have
the camera rolling like that's something that i like the few times that i stream or vlog or
whatever could improve on it's the interactions with the people that's the coolest part of the stream. Are they
trying to figure out how to turn your gear off right now? Yeah, they had no idea
how to turn it off. I love that. But I wanted to make sure I got it on tape
because I mean, I was just like, you know, if this is gonna happen, I at least want to document it.
Yeah, for sure. Yeah, whenever something goes wrong, it's bad. I just could give you the rest of the money anyway.
It might be worth the inconvenience when it's up by the time it's all said and done.
I mean, didn't make any money off that video, but it was...
Why not?
It was just...
300,000 views.
I think it got demonetized.
I'm not surprised.
Silly YouTube.
Actually, the demonetization stuff isn't really that bad on YouTube when you live stream.
My live streams don't get demonetized until after the fact so i get like 150k views from a live stream that's just monetized and then they'll demonetize when it's a vod
which is nice
yeah kyle went that we we got kicked all i got a strike on a PKA live once.
Kyle was telling a story and didn't go right.
What story was it?
It had to do with a Medal of Honor recipient and beating up a tranny hooker.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
That's a true story.
That's a true story.
Yeah, yeah.
That's a true story.
So right during the show which is doom shows
turned off live streams over the way I remember the story going great I won't
be as graphic as perhaps I once was I think what happened was they were like
they were on leave and like Japan or Thailand or something, and they hooked up with a tranny hooker,
and they didn't know it was a tranny until it was too late,
and then they just beat the shit out of her.
And I think that's what went down, like a real beating.
And honestly, it's been so long ago, I don't remember the details that much,
but yeah, I guess I got a little graphic with the details and just insta-struck
I didn't know you could be striked just for
talking about something. It's a while ago
who knows how they do it now. I'm pretty colorful
They definitely
don't do that anymore
Yeah I've said all
kinds of horrible things like I was always
surprised when I was like I don't know
five years ago when I was going through that whole
diatribe about like the matrix sex with like multiple versions of my sister and like lube
like like like lubes raining from the eye and dildos and I like the matrix like dildos lots
of dildos and they all slide out like that one just flew right past nobody minded a bit nobody
cared some of the things we talk about like I'll be brushing my teeth getting ready for bed after
our pKA recordings
and just be like, what kind of person are you?
You're even nice. Sometimes people
quote me on Twitter the next
day and it's like, oh my god, the PKA
version of me is just ridiculous.
Yeah, well none of us have political
aspirations. You know, I kind of do.
Like, I don't see myself
no not anymore you don't
I was looking up the salaries of like
state senators state house of rep
where you get started
and they're pitiful we talked about it
yeah
oh did you guys see on the subreddit the female
versions of ourselves there's this app
where you can take a picture of yourself and then like
throw it in the app and the app turns you into a girl like the girl version of yourself i'm fucking i
would buy you're fucking you're you're a three as a woman you're a three i am fucking kate mara
with a slight shadowy mustache i thought you know what i liked me a lot kyle is definitely the hottest of all of them i get you know that's
the consensus i guess they even my cup of tea i have like no i'd have fucked me i i saw kyle's
and i was like god damn she's hot does that make me gay i don't want to fuck female kyle and i saw
me and i was like i'd fuck female me like i i i you're actually really good looking holy shit you uh taylor as a female
like i would totally well thank you i'm glad someone would because apparently i'm the least
popular here jesus are you hunting down there is me maybe kyle's is the hottest as i'm looking
kyle's is absolutely the hottest and then I don't know. People are saying
I'm way worse than you, Woody, but I feel like
my female version is just as attractive as your
female version. I feel like we're just as
unattractive.
I feel like I'm a good judge of this
sort of thing. If my version didn't
have a little bit of a mustache going on
there, that's pretty fucking great.
Looks like Kate Mara, the
chick from um house of
cards that died early on yes fucking smoking hot i'd fuck female version of me right in the ass
um female version of woody is second hottest um that chin is just is just throwing me off a little
bit because that's your chin and jawline my friend it is it is strong i like it i like it now
something now in real life, my teeth
are not misaligned like that. I don't know
how that's happening. That tooth is
straight up under her nose.
I don't look like that.
I looked.
I don't know what to say. It's weird.
It did change all your teeth.
It gave you Tom Cruise teeth.
Even on the guy one, it shifted.
I swear, I'm not straight up misaligned like that.
Female version of Taylor looks like she has an extra chromosome.
And female version of Wings of Redemption looks like a combination of Down syndrome,
fetal alcohol syndrome, Bell's palsy, and Ben and Jerry's.
So you don't like it?
I saw female wings and just thought
she didn't look
that awful to me.
And you said Bell's Palsy?
Totally not Bell's Palsy. She's symmetrical.
You know, your obscure
medical diagnosis is way off.
Yeah, the more I look at this, the more
you're right, Kyle. I'm definitely the
ugliest of us three.
I think that app turns anybody to look
really good. I mean, I think I would
smash every single one of you if you were females,
to be honest.
Yeah, probably.
I don't know if that's gay to say, but I don't know.
No, you hold your friend's dicks for fun.
This is way, way better.
Kyle's is the hottest.
In my memory, I thought mine was,
I thought it was a tight race, but it's not.
Kyle's is the hottest.
It's smoking fucking hot.
I want to fuck me so God.
I want to fuck regular version of me,
if I'm being 100% honest.
I'd do that.
Like if I could make a, you know,
in those movies when they're all,
when you like go in the machine and two of you come out,
I never wonder why they're not, hey, you want to just go suck each other off in the back i mean it's us right like i mean we've been jerking this thing off for
years and we might as well just put our mouths on it right like i'd suck me off right i mean
i'm not flexible enough to suck my own penis no i'm just not like have you ever had another guy's penis no no no it's not like
a gay thing but right it's not you've never you've never tasted a penis no no i imagine it
tastes like skin yeah i imagine it tastes like a wrist it's like beef jerky you just kind of stick
it in it's like beef jerky i don't know i've licked it i've not put it in my mouth penetration
but i've licked a penis yeah how many penises have you licked uh just my friend's penis just one
i've licked it and it just tastes like beef jerky i just you have that's something you have to
fucking try at least once in your life for sure i mean yeah i'll write on the bucket list
right next to kilimanjaro
it's kind of like the same thing have you ever ever, like, rimmed a girl's asshole?
Like, it's the same thing.
It's fucking nasty, but I mean, it's not.
So it just tastes a little rusty, yeah.
Yeah, it's rusty.
I'm just being gross.
People say the dumbest thing about it.
Oh, it tastes like a 9-volt battery.
No, it doesn't.
No, no, it tastes good.
First of all, she should have just fallen out of the shower.
It should still be – you should have to towel her off before you get started.
There's an implied – there's an implication there that if you're letting someone lick your asshole, that your asshole is in a condition to be licked.
Yeah.
That's not like an after-a-hike kind of sex move.
You're not like, hey, just finish that.
Let's do some 69 and now you need to shower.
I want to get back to the dick lick. And how did this occur?
It was a bet between my roommate.
And I was like, I bet you can't get hard right now.
And he's like, watch me.
And then I'm like, if you get hard, I'll lick your dick.
And he got fucking hard after just jacking off a little bit.
No, actually, he was already hard when he pulled his fucking pants down.
And I'm just like, all right. And then I fucking just went, I licked his dick and
I don't know. It was, it was, it seems gay, but it's really not. I don't know. It's not
at all fine. All right. I'm glad that you said that. Let, let, let me, let me, you were
falling asleep that night. Did you like kind of open your eyes right before you went to
bed and just think like, who am I? No, I was like, I didn't even think about it.
I was like, all right, whatever.
I just did that.
I mean, it's just normal.
Oh, by the way, Kyle, if you can't reach your dick
when you're trying to be flexible,
lick your hand and then rub your dick
and then lick your hand again
and you get the taste on your hand.
Okay.
Pro tip.
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Their watches are just really nice, clean,
nice, and stylish.
I like the black on black. I've got one of those.
So go to mvmt.com
slash pka. Join the movement.
Yeah, so
I have it on a...
from a
source that perhaps that you
received some oral sex
from a transsexual individual.
Is that accurate?
Yes, I did.
It was back when I was young and desperate.
I was 18 years old on Plenty of Fish.
It was like 2 in the morning.
I really wanted to get a fucking nut off
because I was...
But I didn't want to masturbate.
I was fucking tired of masturbating.
And I did not have a girlfriend for a while so i saw this this person on plenty of fish
which is a dating site i'm like okay i mean it's an ugly ass girl but i mean if she sucks my dick
it's whatever and uh i go and i we go to like a bar we have like a date and it's like it's like
a bunch of people at this bar they're like i'm wondering like i'm like rubbing her fucking leg and shit and she's like sitting there with like just shorts on like the
belly button shit's going up to her you know her shirt's like going up past her belly button i'm
like rubbing her and like we're like kissing and shit i'm just like all right you know this is
great we go back to her fucking place we sneak past her fucking six roommates that are sleeping
on the couch and on the floor and shit. Cause she lives in some ratchet fucking apartment.
And,
uh,
we lay there and I'm like trying to fuck her.
I'm like trying to grab ahold of her vagina.
And she's like,
no,
no,
it's the first date.
I don't want to,
you know,
I don't want to fuck on the first day.
I don't even want to get naked,
but I'll suck your dick.
And I thought that was kind of weird.
And I'm like,
well,
whatever. I'm not going to complain about that.
And,
uh,
you know,
we start, you know, she starts me off, and I just look down.
I just notice after a while that something was off about her.
I saw that there was hair coming from under her chin, dude.
I'm just like...
A bunch of basketball trophies over on the shelf.
Yeah, I know. I was like, what the hell is this?
I just get flaccid while she's sucking my dick and she and she's like what's going on i'm just like i'm just like i don't know i have to go
and she's like uh he's like you know just why and shit i'm just like because you're a dude and i
just get up and i just go and And it's, like, really awkward.
And I thought her roommates were going to fucking kill me.
And I don't know.
It was a really bad situation.
And then she texts me, like, the next day.
And I'm like, no, I just ignore it.
I was, like, I was pissed off, dude.
You ghosted her?
That's not polite.
Bring it up.
No, it's not polite to not tell someone that you're a transsexual person.
Now, I mean, have you seen the picture of this transsexual?
No. Oh my god, you have a picture?
Yeah, would you like to see?
Thank you so much for this.
That night
when I came home, I posted it on a
bodybuilding.com forum.
Here's the post
and the pictures and everything.
Fuck yes.
This is why you're huge.
This is hilarious.
Let me find the picture as well here.
You tell me if you would fall for this.
Being horny as fuck
and just
I don't know.
It was like 2 in the morning and I was horny as fuck.
You'd let that suck your dick, right?
I thought that was a woman.
Some Asian woman.
Oh, shit.
Wait, are you serious?
No, you can see in the neck.
You can see what?
Oh, no.
That was a dude?
I don't know.
She has one of those chin dimples.
Yeah, man. She's got the chin dimples.
I thought it was just an ugly-ass girl. I, man. She's got the chin dimples.
I thought she was just an ugly-ass girl.
I thought, like, I'll let her suck my dick. Ice, you're better looking than her.
When I was 18 and haven't had a girlfriend for a while, I was desperate.
Oh, wow.
I was like, I don't want to get my nun off.
Fuck, dude.
I mean, did you notice, like, as you were doing the feeling up and the making out, that, like, hmm, there don't seem to be any breasts here?
No, she stuffed, she, like, stuffed it or something.
Yeah, she had falsies in.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I was rubbing her fucking vagina, like, or so I thought.
I don't know.
I rubbed the vagina.
I didn't feel anything fucking weird.
She must have, like, taped her fucking ball sack and shit backwards.
You know what they do?
All right, so here's what they do, because I bet most people don't know.
They push their balls into their body, okay?
If you push up on your ball, it'll go up inside of you,
and then you pull the penis back into your ass crack,
and there's special underwear, and you can tape it all up under there
so that there's almost no bulge whatsoever.
That's what's going on there.
How could you possibly
be comfortable walking around like that?
You can put your ball sack into
you? Yeah, you can push your testicles
back into your body. You just gotta like
work them around there and they'll
pop up in there. And they'll fall back out
but unless you secure them
with like a proper undergarment
and maybe a little tape. And I
would guess that that's what happened.
How does that not hurt?
When I cross my legs, my fucking balls start to hurt.
I mean, they're just committed to being the lady.
I always thought they were just behind.
Like the whole Mangina thing, Silence of the Lambs.
They just tuck.
No?
What happened in Silence of the Lambs?
There's a scene where the guy gets naked.
You know the thing where you can put your whole life...
Oh, he tucked it behind his legs.
Yeah, yeah.
Would you fuck me? I'd fuck me.
Boom! Boom, boom!
He's doing a little dance. Yeah, that's great.
I love that scene.
Have you never gotten in a situation like that?
No, no. I've never been.
I'll tell you what has, just quickly, like I've had fat chicks.
Like I'll show up and the chick was much fatter than I thought she was going to be.
Like just like 200 pounds fat.
And I let that chick suck my dick.
And, you know, Taylor might have a story about that that hasn't been told.
I've told my story before. Basically, you know, found the chick on Reddit about that that hasn't been told. I've told my story before.
Basically, you know, found the chick on Reddit or on Twitter or Facebook or something like that.
Gave her my hotel.
She showed up and just really fat.
And then another chick showed up to pick me up in her car.
And I promised her to, like, take her to Morton's Steakhouse, like a $100 steak or whatever.
And then, like, I sit down in the car and look at her.
I'm like, fuck, she's bigger than me.
And I'm like texting my buddies to like call my phone.
And I'm like, bullshit.
I'm like, I got to go.
Big emergency at work.
Take me back to the hotel.
And I just abandoned ship on that one.
How much of a lie did she tell with her photos that you went from promising a steak at Morton's,
which I know is like your favorite restaurant, to having to make up an emergency to leave?
Huge, huge lie.
Like it was this photo that showed like the top of her cleavage and then her face
at a really perfect angle.
Like, she's trying to bend her neck backwards, exorcist style or something.
That or the pictures were, like, four years old or something.
They pulled that number, too.
Like, she's 24 and chunky now.
Then she sends the picture of when she was 20 and just like right
out of high school and she's still got her like cheerleading body or whatever and since then like
duncan hines has taken a real fucking effect on her it's it just just fucked she was so big and
fat i think uh you should never meet up with a girl who has fucking weird angles on their pictures
online they're always fat.
You live and you learn, but you're not the one to give that advice.
I mean, hey, yeah, I mean, fuck it, dude.
Blowjob's a blowjob.
Yeah, you can tell if that...
I mean, does it matter if it's a dude or a guy at that point?
I mean, a tongue is a mouth.
It's all the same shit.
I'm surprised that you weren't okay with him or her blowing you because you licked your friend's dick
I mean like not it wasn't sexual though. It was just like a meme
Yeah, mm-hmm. Okay
You you wouldn't want to make dick sexually well
No, because well she would expect me to make her come and my friend was not expecting me to make him come he just wanted to
you know to get the the dick licked uh if there if there's an expectation of of coming then that's
a whole nother story i agree okay i agree yeah yeah i i i would i would you know we all right
so we've done the thing where we looked at like um who's the super hot transsexual bailey jay
just did we we compared the bailey jayxual? Bailey J. We compared the Bailey J picture with like, I don't know,
the Buck Nasty picture or whatever that person's name is.
It's like the woman who went through a man, whatever.
It's the woman who turned into a man with the shaved head,
the pecs and the hairy chest and everything.
And clearly Bailey J is the more.
Oh yeah, and has a vagina.
Yeah, I'd much rather have sex with Bailey J who has a penis
than have sex with whatever that
buck nasty fellow is
that has like shaved head and pecs
and like a hairy chest and everything. I'm looking at her
photo. She's a dude.
Yeah, yeah, she is a dude. But she vibes.
If you scroll down on that picture, you'll see.
Would you guys...
Alright, if a guy is really
convincing as a woman, you would not
let a blowjob happen?
Yes, we would.
That's what I'm saying.
I would.
I would fuck Bailey J.
Yeah, absolutely.
I know a girl who knows her and talks to her on Twitter.
And it's tempting to go and try to hook something up.
Bailey J is very hot.
Yeah, yeah.
But if the lights are off and you're making that choice between Buck Nasty uh still is his name buck nasty that doesn't sound right i like buck nasty better
but it's buck angel like if you're listening along google buck angel take a look at that
and then of course if you don't know bailey jay is google that and and you know you tell me what
you pick definitely the one with the penis what if the lights are off in your bedroom and buck angel is in doggy style and so then it's really just
no fucking angel has a broad-shouldered lady buck angel has bigger delts and more chest hair than i
do okay bailey jay has a woman's body with really nice fake tits like usually when they put fake
tics on a fake tits on a man it it does some weird shit where they're looking different ways like a cross-eyed homeless man or something.
They're like Forrest Whitaker's eyes.
They show up on Last King of Scotland on you and you're like, whoa, what the fuck?
But Bailey J's, they look like natural really nice titties and uh and and
she's you know she's jewish which which i'm into and and and just really hot yeah
so wait buck angel's a fucking woman see yes with a vagina what the fuck yes it's it's a so which
one would you fuck transsexual bailey with buck angel 100% the dude with Bailey J
Yeah, yeah, like that. He's got a hairy chest a bald head like what the fuck honestly these
pictures really do change in the entire game because
That buck angel looks exactly like a real man like I would never suspect that would you like you like Donny Bonaduce?
right remember remember
uh break uh remember breaking bonaduce or whatever that that reality show he had looks like fucking
danny bonaduce but but with uh but with no hair oh that's yeah i think you guys might be right on
this one yeah that's changing my whole uh perspective of like men and women here it's uh
yeah the game i mean it fucking did it's all the same shit, to be honest.
That's all that you would know.
I mean, would you give
Bailey J anal?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
What other options are there?
She has a penis, so I mean, it's a blowjob.
Oh, wait, wait. When I'm giving her
anal, I'm not sure.
I might have got a little mixed up.
Am I giving the anal or like... Whatever it takes, Woody.
Whatever it takes.
That's up to Bailey.
The rest of us are thinking about fucking, you know, her ass
and Woody's imagining himself like presenting to her on the bed.
He's like, well, I guess so.
So, Ice, what did you do before you were a the bandit. He's like, well, I guess so. Wait, you just looped?
Yeah.
So Ice, what'd you do before
you were a live streamer?
Were you like,
is this your first job?
Um, no.
I used to
work three jobs.
I worked at
Sorry, I just had to
spit that out
so I can talk.
I worked at Dunkin' Donuts.
I worked at Chowder Heads.
I worked at an Italian restaurant.
And all those jobs are complete fucking shit.
Don't ever eat at Dunkin' Donuts.
They drop food on the floor and they serve it to you.
Or at least you did.
Well, I mean, me and everyone else.
The manager made me lick his dick
so it was like
no so live streaming is not my first job
but it's definitely
it's a stressful job
in like a weird way
it's not hard but it's stressful
which can make it hard sometimes
yeah because it seems like you get a lot of surprise
in your life with just not knowing
like, oh, is today going to be another day where I'm surrounded by the cops in public?
Or is today going to be where another scene is made at my expense?
Like I can see how that's stressful.
The cops and everything like that, the calls, the scenes, that's stressful, but it's like
not only necessarily that.
It's like when I went to go work at a restaurant as a cook,
I knew at the end of the day that when my time to clock out is done and over with,
my manager is not going to be calling me 24 hours a day telling me that I did a shitty job.
Where sometimes, you know, people can do that on like, you know, Reddit or whatever.
And it's kind of like disheartening sometimes when it's like you finish a stream you look at reddit and it's just like non-stop just
shit what are the complaints that you get i'm not familiar is it like hey your fucking
video sucks or is it like technical complaints or more like fuck you you suck at interviewing
or whatever you're doing like aaron andy shit. Sometimes they'll say I do errands
or I'll get some
criticism on just really
weird shit. There was one time
there was a post that had 2,000 upvotes
and it criticized me because I
was looking at my phone while I was talking
to somebody and it was rude.
I'm looking at that and I'm just like, this is the stupidest
fucking thing ever.
Who gives a shit?
Every little thing you do is critiqued. I'm looking at that. I'm just like, this is the stupidest fucking thing ever. And I, like, who gives a shit? But it's just like,
you know,
every little thing you do is like, is like critiqued.
Yeah.
You've had some home run shows.
So I'll tell you like some of my favorite things I watched.
I watched you do the thing with the,
like the,
the ghost pet,
the Carolina Reaper peppers and the pepper spray with those guys out in the street.
And like,
you know,
sticking their heads in the bucket for the golf balls.
That was fucking awesome.
I liked that.
I really liked it. And those are my favorite,. That was fucking awesome. I like that. I really liked it.
Those are my favorite things that you do.
I like that backyard boxing thing.
That was fucking hilarious.
The dude's crying and shit.
I have some suggestions.
I think I might do
something like what you're doing maybe sometime
next year. I'm interested in this.
It looks fun. I have some ideas. There's this idea I've had for a long time to do this thing, this sport that I invented
called bum racing, which is where you attach a homeless man to a rickshaw and then you compete
against each other, each of you with a homeless man attached to your respective rickshaw and you
race them. So I want to do that. I'm going to make that happen. And I also think it would be hilarious to go and stream IRL at like a Mexican donkey show.
Yeah, I mean, that would be dope, actually.
That would be funny.
Those ideas would definitely work 100% and not be slavery.
So that would be good.
Yeah, you pay them.
Well, the winner gets paid.
The loser gets shamed.
Oh, yeah.
I mean, I guess that's similar to what I did.
I only paid the person who won.
Everyone else just got shot with paintballs for no reason.
Dude, those welts on their back.
All right, so I'm sorry to interrupt, but I saw him plunging his head in that shit water
to get to golf balls with a blue crab or whatever, and I looked on his back, and I played a lot of paintball.
But I saw those welts on his back, and I thought that he had some kind of a disease.
I thought that there were parasites in his body, like something from Star Trek.
Those are the worst paintball welts I've ever fucking seen.
That was brutal.
Yeah, we did not know it was going to be that bad.
But, you know, whatever.
People do what they – You do what you gotta do
for some money, right? I mean,
it's entertaining either way
and they entertained everyone with
taking that shit. So,
it's good for
everyone involved. Another idea
I have, and this one's
I'm stealing this from a buddy of mine, Aiden,
if you're out there.
Keep doing your thing, buddy.
You're the man.
Aiden is a rather wealthy fellow, and he and his friends were outside a bar,
and there were some hookers on the corner.
And they started – they were drunk, and they came up with a bet.
Normally they race like Lamborghinis.
Like they do those rich guy races where you take your personal Lambo
and put it on a track, and they race each other for cash.
Well, they came up with the idea to piggyback on the backs of hookers and race them
through the street and and aiden found a particularly skinny like an actual hot hooker
and his buddy like kept looking for like a sturdy hooker and finally found like a big portly hooker
and and of course like they hop on their backs and Aiden's hooker just collapses on her
knees right there on the asphalt.
He's like a 180 pound man and this
fat chick is just chugging along, carrying
his buddy down the sidewalk.
The hooker actually did that?
They carried them? They'll fuck you for money.
They'll do a...
These girls take ass
to mouth for $300. They'll put you
on their back for about $50.
Yeah, that's funny.
I did something with the hooker.
I had her beat me.
I love that.
You had a beat?
How severely did she beat you?
Well, you know, just like she would smack my feet.
I had her put a beard on.
She'd smack my feet. And then she would call me her little bitch.
And you know,
it was,
it was,
I tried to see how far she would go and she was like legit ready to punch me
and like beat my ass.
And I was like,
I had to stop her.
I'm like,
okay,
don't actually hit me that hard.
Like she was,
uh,
I mean,
she was a big black hooker and she was like 300 pounds and you know,
she's probably lucky.
She's not having my dick in her mouth.
And, like, she'd probably prefer to beat me instead.
Oh, yeah.
Did she, like, did you make sure that this was a biological female first, or were you just taking some licks like, God, her hands are huge?
I mean, I'm sure.
I guess it was a female.
It was in the female section, and she had big-ass fucking triple, double fucking Fs or something.
So I was like, all right.
What was her response to you initially saying, or I guess how did you bring it up?
You just said, hey, I don't want to have sex.
I want you to rough me up a bit.
Yeah, I was like, my wife is watching on that video camera right there, so don't mind it.
And I want you to beat my ass for my wife or something. And was like okay and i was like make it sexual and she's like okay and
she like would beat me and be like yeah what's going on um you know you're the you're my fucking
slave and all this shit i'm like yeah baby what's up so start watching your streams this is really
my favorite part of that is when you had her, like, rub the lotion on you,
and you were like, no, no, no, over the shirt, over the shirt.
And she's, like, rubbing the lotion into your shirt.
Yeah, I didn't want to get, like, get naked in front of her,
because she might, I was, like, afraid that she might actually want to fuck
if I took my clothes off.
And I was, like, not trying to actually get this girl in my bed and fuck me.
And I was, like, handcuffed and shit.
So I would have been completely
powerless
in that situation.
I didn't want to get raped by her, although my friends were in the other room
hiding in the closet.
The plan
was for them to burst in
out of the closet
while she was doing this, but they never did.
They just thought it was funny to watch.
I'm like, okay.
So were you like yelling out your trigger word
to try and get them to run in?
No, I was just taking it.
I was like, fuck it, dude.
Tangerine, tangerine.
I sure would love a strawberry.
You know, like right now.
Yeah.
That's a really good idea.
I would have watched that.
Chiz, find a clip of that, or like a highlight clip of that
so I can see this giant bitch
wailing on ice.
Yeah, I love the idea of using hookers
for livestream purposes.
Well, they'll do anything.
Exactly.
Because it's already established they'll do anything.
Yes, when you start at sucking dick,
the sky's the limit.
You know?
We keep talking about going to Vegas and doing like a hooker trip.
Just like going and live streaming, like picking the hookers out at a brothel and stuff.
And maybe I pick his hooker and he picks my hooker for laughs or something like that.
And our friend Chiz was like, no, no, no.
I'm going to pick a man hooker.
And I'm'm gonna make him
play magic the gathering with um you gotta be careful hookers like are they have like pimps
and shit they're in like really bad situations and the their fucking people will come and like
try to beat your ass uh i had this this one pimp he came to my fucking door when somebody called
a hooker over it was like a fucking tranvestite hooker and i was like no fuck off it's like a fake phone call or whatever when their fucking pimp comes and
like knocks on my door he's like hey you're gonna fuck my girl or what and i'm like
no and she's like what i'm like first of all it's a dude second of all no and he's like well
we came all the way out here from you know whatever south central or some shit i'm like
all right well i mean i don't give a fuck dude and he was just trying to like you know have me fuck
this man hooker I'm like no how much do you charge for a quick dick lick they
probably have something like STD I'd be afraid man do you have any other run-ins
with the transsexual prostitutesins with transsexual prostitutes?
That's a very interesting topic.
Not transsexual prostitutes.
I've had plenty of run-ins with transsexuals.
I'll go out and I'll just be like, I just think it's a woman.
It's not. I'll fucking get all
bonded. It's happened a few times. I don't know.
There's very believable transsexuals.
Yeah, absolutely. Especially with hormones.
Yeah, especially with hormones and the
falsies.
It can be hard to tell the
difference.
It's that hard to tell the difference.
Yes, she is.
That's honestly the first...
You look so uncomfortable.
I was afraid she was
going to jump on me and get naked
and just fuck me or something
That was my first exposure to you now that I think back was was watching this stream
That was great. Are you allowed to?
like stream stuff and tell people that it's just like a
Regular camera and that they're not streaming or do you have to say? All right, this is streaming you guys
It's not against youtube's
tos to say that you're not recording so i tell them i'm not recording granted they can still
sue me uh but i'm willing to take that risk for content so i mean as long as i don't get banned
off youtube uh we're totally fine that's good well it seems like you're really pushing the
envelope with a lot of this shit. It's very funny.
I mean, I don't think this is really that bad.
It's kind of like those old school hooker pranks that people would call a hooker and fuck with them, except it's in person, right?
It's like, I don't know.
It's not that bad.
I mean, there's definitely people on YouTube who livestream that do push the limit of doing illegal shit.
I never do actually anything illegal so that's good
we're doing have you ever almost done anything illegal uh stream and then had to stop yourself
and be like oh probably not no i mean it's easy not to do illegal shit so but there's this one
guy i was i've streamed with a little bit his name is brandon he would like go to stores and
i'd call like just one time we went together to stream and he like stole something from cbs or I've streamed with a little bit. His name is Brandon. He would go to stores.
Just one time we went together to stream and he stole something from CBS, I think, or something.
And I was just like,
this is a really...
I'm just thinking in my head,
this is really bad
because we're committing crimes on fucking livestream
and it looks really bad for everybody who's watching
and it looks really bad on my behalf as well.
I don't want to be, like, known as a guy who, like,
breaks fucking laws and shit on stream,
so I had to get away from, you know, him and stuff.
So that wasn't the only reason.
No more dick shakes with Brad.
He's out of the dick circle.
Yeah.
It was funny.
We're going to do that, Taylor.
We're totally going to get these folks.
You're going to shake dicks?
We can do that too if you want.
Taylor and I have been shaking dicks since day one.
You're not invited to our dick shaking.
We suspect you might not be cut
and we're just not into it.
He was born in olden days. Exactly so, yeah, we don't need any of that.
What's the gayest thing you guys have actually ever done?
Is it gay to, like, see, like, a bodybuilder or something and be like,
God damn, like, well, I guess that's more jealousy.
No, I mean, gay as in, like, goddamn! I guess that's more jealousy. No, I mean, gay
is like physical
stuff.
I don't know.
I've never done anything with a guy.
No, it's not gay to want a woman
to do something to you.
The gay-esque thing.
Have you ever had a finger up your ass
or something?
Yeah, maybe a finger.
Come on, Taylor, Not even a finger?
No.
Step up the game, Taylor.
Alright, I'll get back to you.
You've never put anything up your butt?
Only if I'm hiding it.
I don't know, man.
I put some shit up my ass.
It's a man's pocketbook.
It's just for fun. I don't know, man. I put some shit up my ass. It's a man's pocketbook. It's just for fun.
I don't know.
What kind of stuff?
Like a toy car?
No, I don't know.
I'll be sitting in the bathroom taking a piss.
A long-ass piss.
I'm just bored as fuck.
I'll grab a toothbrush or some shit off my fucking counter
to see how far I can get it up.
Which end?
While you're pissing? The end what while you're the end
that's like got not the fucking bristles yeah that's just an example I put like
my finger like it's just like experimental I don't know yeah yeah so
you'll just be taking a pee and ten seconds into your long pee you're like I
could use a little anal simulation I'll like look and I'll see my fucking shit here on the table
and I'm like, I wonder what it feels like to put
something up your ass. So I was like, alright,
I'll just do it now and test it out while I'm here.
Just a little bit, not like shoving the whole
fucking thing. I like to think that you're peeing like a
kindergartner with your pants totally around your
ankles.
Well, he has to. He's pleasuring himself
in the ass. Right?
That's how that's like, oh, the door's already open. Might as well walk in.
Yeah.
When I take a shower, I use soap
and I clean the inside of my asshole.
I'll put the bar of soap in my
asshole sometimes.
Not the entire bar, but I'll just
shove as much as I can into it.
That's actually a pretty
revolutionary cleaning technique.
That's the tip. My cleaning technique. Just a tip!
My asshole smells like shit sometimes, so I have to clean it.
You're not alone there.
That's okay, you don't need to feel bad.
What's the best thing that you prefer most that you've stuck up your ass?
Definitely the soap. At least it smells good afterward everything
i mean not really it's not like you're jacking off with it there's no i don't it feels fine to
me to be honest but do you like have to retire that bar of soap after that no i use it i read
that there's a reason people lose things up their ass right like like a vagina is a tube the whole
way right but with an ass once you get past the sphincter,
it can go sideways, and there's a cavity there to hold stuff.
It opens up like a chapel.
There's a couple chambers is what's going on.
There's like six or seven inches of normal butthole once you go in,
and then there's a second butthole in there,
and things can go up into that second butthole, and then they just get lost like lemony wings. How do you get things into your second butthole in there and things can go up into that second butthole
and then they just get lost like lemony wings.
How do you get things into your second butthole?
I didn't even know we had to.
Well, you got to get real deep up in there,
way up there.
Way up there.
I did not know there was a pocket.
Okay, that's interesting.
Yeah, that's an issue.
You got to keep it.
You need a handle on the things
that you're anally stimulating yourself with
because you could put like a bar of soap up there and
then you could turn sideways
and you've got issues.
Lanyard. You want to lay soap on a rope.
That's why they do it.
I don't think it is.
It just kind of rips my ass.
Chiz just looks like
a diagram of an anus.
Thank you, Chiz.
I'm scared to put things on my ass now.
If she gets lost up there, I don't know how I'd get it out.
It'll come out eventually.
Honestly, the soap on a rope idea was a joke, but that makes a lot of sense.
Yeah, that's what it's all about.
If you are one for shoving dove bars up your anus for extra cleanliness.
Oh, not dove.
I don't know.
What's the brand of choice?
Irish Spring.
Those are square blocks, right?
You stick it up there and it molds.
You mold it?
You get it hot?
In the shape of a dick?
Four bars of something together?
Carve a head out.
That would be a lot easier to put up
than just a big rectangle bar.
You're putting up a rectangle bar?
Well, yeah, like soaps.
If you put it in a shape of a long
stick, that would actually be easier.
But then it'll definitely
break off in your butt.
Oh, penis soap.
Shaped like cocks.
Look at that.
I didn't know they had that.
Okay, I mean, that's gay as fuck,
but if no one knows that I'm doing this in the shower...
Oh, that's gay as fuck.
Okay, now we've established what's gay.
I mean, if I'm purposely shoving a soap dildo in my asshole,
I mean, if nobody knows I'm doing this in the shower,
I guess it's not that gay, but...
I don't know.
You know people listen to this show, right?
I mean, but they won't see me do it,
so it's fine.
Oh, that's funny.
I like that rationale. Okay. Alright.
Yeah.
Makes sense.
You do you, man.
It's good that you're
exploring and doing what you want.
Yeah, I appreciate the
free and open atmosphere that we've got going on I like having you here normally I'm like
the gayest guy on the show but not tonight I mean you care about what
people think about you you just that's you're just doing it all wrong you just
gotta say whatever comes to mind there it is that's how I think at least so
where are you right now you have an apartment a house what do you got going i'm at uh
my townhouse you're okay how long have you lived away from home uh about eight months i've lived
away from my parents and uh i'm not doing good with uh living alone because my laundry never
gets done i barely take a shower i'm just lazy dude i'm a fucking lazy shit and my laundry piles
up until my girlfriend
fucking does everything for me, and then the week
starts over and it's a cycle.
Do you live alone?
I live with my roommate.
Yeah, and we're both lazy as shit.
We just...
We don't do anything. We're just lazy.
Fuck doing laundry and shit. I'll just get my girlfriend
to come over and she'll fucking do it.
I mean, if she will.
Laundry is
the easiest
chore of them all.
You get to pretend like you're doing shit all day,
but most of the time it's just going on its own.
It's pretty automated.
Don't you feel like that with laundry?
You get to feel like, oh, look at me.
You're really getting stuff done.
Then you go watch TV for an hour and just fold it.
That is truly another level of laziness if that's the case
to the fucking machine and then put it in and put the soap in like i don't know i don't even
take the trash out dude like i just let the trash fucking pile up and then when it's trash day i'll
just fucking one big swoop to the front dude i'm gonna die worth the trash out of the time
yeah i'm a lazy fuck We have like eight trash cans.
Yeah, I'm pretty lazy in that regard too.
I use a gigantic trash can.
I use 50-gallon trash bags.
So when I take it out, I'm like Santa Claus walking out with the trash.
I hate those bullshit 13-gallon trash bags that you can throw a shoebox in and then it's full.
That's bullshit.
Yeah, I have one of those normal kitchen-sized garbage cans though because i don't want a 50 gallon drum sitting in the corner of my kitchen
come on who do you think yeah i can fill that get a big fucking trash can like a man you can take
that thing out the yard fill it up with leaves if you need to that's how i roll do you like living
la is la where you're gonna be be forever? Is that your spot?
No. Fuck no, dude.
LA is a cool city, but I like the small town feel a hell of a lot better.
I like going in my car and driving to the gas station and not have to wait in 30 minutes of fucking traffic to go a block.
And also, the people in small towns are a lot more, you know, they're a lot better.
People in L.A. are kind of weird, and they, you know, they're, I don't know, how do I put this?
Everyone's just trying to fucking get something out of you.
Like, people that I talk to, at least.
Like, I don't know, everyone's just a fucking asshole in L.A.
Everybody's got a scheme, too.
Everybody's, like fucking asshole in LA. Everybody's got a scheme too. Everybody's on the rise.
They're like, oh yeah, I'm doing this right now,
but my goal is to be a ghost writer
for TV shows.
Everybody's always scheming to go up
that ladder out there.
It's such a, I don't know,
entertainment-based town.
I didn't catch it. Where are you from originally?
Florida, Palm Beach.
That could also be your position, Ice.
That was something that was new to it that i had to adjust to right when i was big on youtube it was like everyone was like hey love your stuff this is what i want from you that
was the pattern i'd see it again and again and again there must be tons of people who do that
to you yeah i mean there are um with irl streaming it's a lot more prevalent because people can forcibly put
themselves into your shit by just like stream sniping you or something uh and you know a lot
of people just aren't genuine they'll like come and be like hey man i want to be your friend like
your best friend and all this shit and like i know in the back of my head you're such a fucking
bullshitter uh but i you know i can't really
say that because i'll look like an asshole if i say that to somebody who comes up and is like
being nice and wants to be my friend but i especially see it off stream like like when i
turn the stream off some people just get very different and i can and it just annoys the fuck
out of me i'm just like all right dude like are we actually friends
or are you just a fucking bullshitter that sucks yeah i've been living in georgia forever but uh
but i think i'm gonna move i want to go to colorado we vacation in colorado a lot and it's
fucking beautiful there and it's completely different from here here it's like super humid
and hot in the in the summertime and it's just it's terrible. You don't want to go outside.
There they actually have a fucking winter
with snow and shit. Twice in my 30
years of life have I seen snow
that was more than 4 inches
or something like that. I remember both
times it happened because I got to make a snowman.
When we go to Colorado,
there's feet of snow.
I like snow like a little kid or something.
I'm going to move out there. Move out to colorado with me we'll do it we'll do some dual
irl streaming and we'll get up to absolutely no good i'll buy the hookers hey that sounds like a
great idea and uh and and you'll have to to oh i like the idea of getting three hookers and one of
them is a transsexual and you with a blindfold have to discover which one is not.
What about we get hookers
and then we blow them up with RPGs?
Oh, that's another good one.
Actually, you know, let me pick out the hookers
and then at the end, the bit is that they're all transsexuals.
Surprise!
As you're taking their pants off to check
like a kid on Christmas morning,
like, no, they can't all have dicks!
Taylor, if you had to,
A, lick a man's dick the way I described it,
you know, he just pulls it out,
you lick the side of it,
you're licking the side, the shaft,
okay, and it's a clean dick.
Or you have to kiss a man for three solid seconds with tongue which one would you take and nobody's
gonna know nobody's gonna know but me because i'm watching you and the people watching and the dude
oh man dude that like when you said kiss for three seconds i was gonna i was about to
for sure two missus but when you said with tongue that makes it so much more intimate
you have to suck his tongue at one part you would feel a man's like rough face you have to suck his
tongue at least once and at the end he's gonna bite your lower lip into that thing where he
sort of pulls on it a
little bit and you have to slowly pull away till it like snaps back into place does he have does
he have a beard does he have what's this gentleman look like it's ice oh kissing yeah
i mean you could just close your eyes and pretend it's a woman i mean you can't really
pretend a woman has a penis so the kissing seems easier so the reason i brought this up is i understand it that you often kiss men on your
streams and i'm just wondering what's what's that about he's supposed to be pretty good at it too
then uh yeah i mean i do it for the meme because people say like some people will be like stop
doing the gay shit it's not funny so i'll do the gay shit on purpose because i think it's funny uh it's just
like a meme it's like it disgusts the fuck out of me when i kiss a dude and he like i've had dudes
like fucking hold me in place like fucking legit get in there and i'm just like oh god but it it's
it's for the memes that's kind of funny so we're uh making out with these guys just like people
you see on the street or like random guys on the
street uh i this guy named chad he's an australian fuck uh he came over and he was staying over with
me for like a week we legit kissed every day on stream and we used tongue and we fucking
tongued for like 10 seconds and it was disgusting as fuck but it was a meme so fuck it so like
what's the what's the general response from most
of your audience because you said some of them are like hey quit it with the gay shit and you
upset them but do even more get glee from the fact that that contingent is upset now that you
piss like no i don't know it's but it's funny and they get pissed off but that's why it's funny
because they people get pissed off by it i'm like like, oh, that's, you know, like nobody wants to see the gay shit,
but I like to be the guy that's just like,
hey, I'll fucking annoy everyone with the gay shit.
It's just funny.
I don't know.
I love this.
Yeah, it's hilarious.
I mean, sometimes people may say you don't want to piss off your audience,
but in certain situations like that,
I think it's okay to piss off your audience because it's fucking funny.
Oh, I agree. If I saw it, I think it's okay to piss off your audience because it's fucking funny. Oh, I agree.
If I saw it, I would have laughed.
Maybe been pretty uncomfortable.
But then when you go up and you see all the people who are upset by it, it makes it funny again.
So, yeah.
On man?
Kyle, you have to answer it.
Oh, would I lick the dick or make out with the guy?
Yeah.
Is it ice that I'm making out with?
I mean, that was my thing. So, I think that's fair for it to be him as well for you. would I lick the dick or make out with the guy? Is it ice that I'm making out with?
I mean, that was my thing,
so I think that's fair for it to be him as well for you.
I think I'd rather make out with ice than you because your beard is just...
Your beard, dude!
And you've got a big mouth, too.
I feel like your mouth is probably bigger than his.
Like, I don't know.
Ah, shit.
What's the dick look like?
You just said it's clean and it's the side of it. Ah, I think shit what's the dick look like it you just said it was it's clean and it's the
side of it i think i'll lick the dick because i just have to i just i'll lick the dick yeah
yeah i think i'd lick the dick it's not bad it's not bad not bad what about you i'll lick the dick
for sure the trouble with both of you is the facial hair. If you were very clean shaven, I'd have a tougher choice.
I'd have a decision to make.
But there is nothing female about your faces.
Yeah, there's no way that you could close your eyes and start kissing me and be like,
oh, I'll just pretend it's a lady.
How about this, Woody?
You have to lick Wings of Redemption's dick if you can find find it or you have to make out with me
are you willing to shave i will shave very well with my dollar shave club razor right before
after shave i'll put on your wife's perfume and uh we'll dim the lights a little bit
and uh you're winning me over i think we're brush i will use smart mouth like an
hour before and i'll use like scope right before to like really like just fully peppermint my mouth
up for you with that event horizon of ice's gayness has sucked us all in like
i mean what uh you got to do it sometimes.
No, it's hilarious.
I love how much detail there was in that, Kyle.
You really painted a picture, so you're totally smooth.
Yeah, yeah.
I mean, it'd almost be rude not to make out with Kyle after all that effort he put into it.
You know Wings is not going to put all that effort down there.
No, no, I might get Mercer.
I'm sorry, Wings.
I don't really know Wings or Devs.
Let me know what it looks like. I haven't seen it in a while.
He seems like the type of guy that would just be
okay with just a lot of shit.
I don't know.
He was always
kind of, not far from you
in the whole, you know what?
It's skin. It's no big deal.
He rolled that level of stuff.
But he did have MRSA once, and that's in my head a little bit.
What's MRSA?
It's a skin infection, like a staph infection.
It's very serious, actually.
Oh, it's fine.
I mean, I've had gonorrhea like one time.
Well, I remember with the surgical team, didn't they have to open the doors and aerate the room?
Yes.
remember what the the surgical team didn't they have to open the doors and aerate the room yes when they drained this pus filled wound on his flap it smelled so bad they had yes flap taylor i
saw you react they had to they had to open a door to the room to aerate it and and like it was such
a country hospital that when you opened the door it's just the woods it's just the woods they're
like oh that smells rank like god damn it's like like you left a can of half open tuna in a hot car
for a week oh and it was it was gross it was not cool yeah and i yeah he mentioned in a live stream
that he hadn't bathed in a couple of days and And it's just, it's not the first dick I lick.
Yeah.
Yeah, I don't, as long as there's no, I mean, so are you licking Wing's dick or are you making out with Kyle?
He's making out.
Making out with Kyle, for sure.
Okay.
That's definitely the right move in that circumstance.
Yeah, yeah.
If Kyle's going to be all smooth.
I bet when you're all smooth, you probably have a very feminine feeling face.
Because you turn into a wonderful woman, clearly. I moisturize every day. I've got my Jack Black
facial moisturizer with SPF 20. I'm just smooth as can be. Like everywhere there's not a little
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what's going on? His mic picks up ambient noise
from upstairs. No he's being murdered
mine? Would you tap your mic? I just wonder if you're using the right mic His mic picks up ambient noise from upstairs. He's being murdered. Whoa.
Mine?
Would you tap your mic?
I just wonder if you're using the right mic.
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holy smokes
it'd be a hit, a hit Woody
a hit, yeah
that like, that's an attention
grabbing deal
I've eaten all of that
now I got my gift box a while ago
and I saved the pork chops for last
but they were delicious
wow
really convincing with your ads
I really want to buy all of that shit
yeah me too
I wish I got the gift box
yeah get it
Kyle's got that swag
Omaha Steaks send it my way
we'll talk about it
alright
fuck
I don't know
so four hours it's hard
to talk about shit for
four hours isn't it I think we're just a little
flabbergasted by the first two
it's been a real rollercoaster ride so far
I'm enjoying it I wanted to ask you about this
something about a Jews are not a race thing It's been a real rollercoaster ride so far. I'm enjoying it. I wanted to ask you about this.
Something about a Jews are not a race thing
that Andy Milonakis...
Oh, no, excuse me.
Yeah, the Jews are not
a race thing.
Something that Chiz pointed out to me that I should ask
you about. I'm not even sure what that means.
Well, I'm 27%
European
Jew based on my DNAna test but i'm not actually a jew
so i guess like i'm 27 like polish or some shit uh but like i don't know so i guess jews aren't
a race i mean i thought they were just a fucking religion but apparently they're a whole people like just white people in general no so
no yeah they are a race of people and not all white people consider them white i i'm one of
the good ones uh i consider are the good ones who consider jewish people white or who don't i don't
who don't oh okay no i consider uh jewish people to be white people. I have plenty of Jewish friends.
But they are a race of people that not all white people believe in. Can't a black guy be Jewish?
He can be an Orthodox Jew.
He can practice the Jewish religion.
He celebrates Hanukkah.
He had a bar mitzvah.
All of that, right?
Are you sure that's what Orthodox Jew means?
Orthodox is just the level of how much you stick like the Torah and the laws of the Old Testament.
Like you can be reformed.
You can practice the Jewish religion, I should say.
But you can also be, as you are, genetically speaking, 27% Jew.
And, you know, be agnostic or a Christian or an atheist or anything.
You know, it's both a religious belief and system
and a race of people actually when you said jews are white like if it's a white person who's a jew
that's true but there's a ton of arabic jews as well like arab jews now we're just muddying the
waters now nobody's gonna follow that with us but i see where you're coming from there of course
could be white jews but that but that's not. But I see where you're coming from. There, of course, could be white Jews,
but that's not what we're talking about.
We're talking about, genetically speaking,
we're talking about the race of people who are Jews.
The ones the Nazis wanted to get.
Oh, yeah, so like all of them.
Yeah.
Like anyone who was Jewish by religion or by birth, right?
Because the only thing you need to be Jewish
is for your mother to be Jewish.
I think.
Right? That does seem like a rip-off.
Like, if you have a Jewish dad
and you practice Judaism, then you're not Jewish.
I mean,
I don't really like that philosophy.
Who's going to call you on it?
Wear a little hat around and...
Bye-bye!
So, did you have, like,
a bar mitzvah or anything or no so
you're actually like you're religiously a Jew what no I'm not a Jew no Kyle no
none of us are Jewish that's why these these knowledge strains are ending so
quickly after they start actually no we didn't consider that part.
So are you Jewish enough that you had a bar mitzvah?
Like, did your parents raise you like that at all?
No, no, I'm not Jewish at all.
I'm a Christian.
I think I look Jewish a little bit.
I think I have a Jewish note.
No, you don't see it?
No, no. David Schwimmer have a Jewish nose. No, you don't see it? No.
David Schwimmer has a Jew nose.
Ice here has a Jew nose.
Look at that. It's big as fuck, yeah.
Oh, wow.
He knows his angle.
Woody, you do not have a Jew nose.
No, I promise. You look like a white dude.
People used to ask me if I was Jewish in school as a kid Woody, you do not have a Jew nose. No, I probably, you don't, you look like a white dude. You look, you know, you're, you're.
People used to ask me if I was Jewish in school, like as a kid sometimes.
Really, my nose got bigger when it got broken a couple of times.
Was that because you were trying to barter down the cost of lunch?
Wait, so are you saying I don't look like that much of a white dude?
You could pass for a Jew.
I think that's what he's saying.
Yeah. you could pass for a Jew I think that's what he's saying yeah like if I saw you in like
a Shamag
you know I would
you know you could pass for an Arab or a Jew
yeah yeah definitely so you know I could see
you run around
blasting Palestinian children by that
wall over there like
or Israeli children
or Israeli children
I do I do want to go to the Middle East
to do a live stream one day, so
I guess I'll just fit in. I won't die.
I'll be okay.
Okay.
If I put the whole get up on
with the little selfie stick, I think if I go
in the middle of Syria or something, I'll be good.
As long as they have 4G connection, I think
we will be okay.
You also are 27% Jewish, you said, and you just said you're going to go middle of Syria or something, I'll be good. As long as they have 4G connection, I think we will be okay. I don't see what could go wrong.
You also are 27% Jewish,
you said, and you just said you're going to go traipse around Syria with a camera
on, and so it's going to go badly.
Well, I'm 5% Middle Eastern,
apparently, so...
Explain that to them.
It won't be a problem.
Stop! Oy vey!
It's fine, dude. It's a live stream. Fucking ISIS, dude. Why not,y. It's fine, dude.
It's a live stream. Fucking ISIS, dude. Why not?
It's just a prank.
It's a social experiment.
Actually, could you imagine
live streaming
going into an ISIS camp
and trying to see what's going on?
Be like, yo, what's up, dude?
Just talking to them and shit.
They would think you're their company
photographer. If you were super brazen about it they'd all be posing
with their weapons and stuff and talking about the infidel and be like hey give me a death to
america everybody one two three everybody death to america everyone you won't believe the images
they're using you look like pussies on the media. Come on, give us the missiles. Exactly the shit they pretend to be.
The U.S. government
probably would get all...
If I ever got out of there, they'd probably get all over
my ass, wouldn't they?
They'd want that footage. You'd probably identify
some key targets.
Maybe they throw you
into one of those... In the movies, they're always
like, you're on the inside now,
Ice. Now you work for the CIA, whether you like one of those. In the movies, they're always like, you're on the inside now, Ice. Now you work for the
CIA, whether you like it or not.
So then you're an undercover operative for the CIA.
This could be great for livestreaming.
Before you know it, you're shaking dick hands with
Ahmed and Khalil.
He's the world's worst spy.
He livestreams his spy activity
on YouTube.
That would actually
be good if I did the dick initiation with ISIS
because then they would never kill me
because we have that trust, that pact.
See, that's a big dice roll
because either they'd never kill you
or they would kill you instantly.
As soon as you said,
you want to take your dick out
and then you'd have to really quickly be like,
I'm just kidding.
I'm definitely not jewish
yeah i mean uh maybe that'd be cool i mean they would be i don't know interesting but
and that would be cool i mean would you rather go there or do woody's africa uh escapade actually i
want to go to africa i feel like living in a tiki hut for like a week would be fucking sick. Like where in Africa?
Like Nigeria or some shit.
Like I'll go to
Nigeria or like fucking
I don't know like
maybe like Morocco.
How about Zimbabwe?
Yeah, like a really out there
third world country.
You could be my support crew.
Yeah, I'm down dude. Like We can go into the fucking water,
fucking drink that shit, get fucking sick as fuck,
and come back to America. It'd be good.
That's one plan.
No, but actually, I would like to go there
and just talk to all the little kids
that are walking around
with a leaf covering their crotch
and just, I don't know, just livestream shit.
It'd be cool.
I don't think they have 4G out there. Well, I don't know, just live stream shit. It'd be cool. I don't think they have 4G out there.
Well, I mean, if they somehow get some sort of internet,
it would be cool as fuck.
So what is the tech like on your live stream?
How do you do it?
How do you get your GoPro on YouTube?
What is the tech like?
I have a video encoder with an HDMI cable
that I can plug into any camera, and you log into your YouTube account on the video encoder, and boom an hdmi cable i can plug into any camera and it just you
log into your youtube account on the video encoder and boom it's just right there you're live okay
is the phone involved you mentioned 4g a couple times well the video encoder uses 4g connection
from a router and two modems that i'm using uh which is and it works really nicely i mean
everything's cheap as fuck i mean relatively speaking it's like 900 for the whole get up okay for like really hd live stream so it's
pretty good gear um i had a live stream idea that i think no one would watch i just want to do it
once or twice for fun but 900 is a lot for a live stream with 18 people saying it's boring i don't
know what was your idea i wanted to live stream me flying around in my paramotor.
From launch to fucking acro
and do a couple near
deaths and then land it and
call it good. I had this idea
with lifting myself up with balloons
on a chair, so that's similar. I think
it would be good. That's harder than you
think and helium is expensive.
How much would it be? I was thinking like 20
fucking big ass balloons and you lift up and I'm wearing a a darth vader outfit i go fly across oh no you
have to need way more than that i watched uh on a tv show they did it to a dwarf and they needed like
uh but did they use 40 balloons 50 big balloons not like party balloons like big ones full of
helium and even then it was kind of like a meh. This is something I was just looking into the other day.
The helium's expensive, too. You're better off just
renting a hot air balloon.
But you could just fill it with hydrogen.
Oh, yeah.
Healthy, safe hydrogen.
Safe.
You can go up there having yourself a smoke.
You know?
Oh, that's actually a good idea.
I want to do that idea.
I want to lift myself up with balloons
and have my friend walk me around
with a rope on the ground
and I'm like 20 feet in the air
and he just walks me around the city while I'm floating.
You know the people that put on this paramotor race
through Africa?
They also put on a balloon race.
And I have a link about it.
And this is what the setup would look like.
Holy shit. It happened earlier this year
this is outrageous look at this balloon man yeah
so what what do you what do you do nargil i'm a balloon man yeah they here it is they
the latest race project balloons tied to a chair, race across Africa.
Oh, my fucking God.
Where's your spirit of adventure?
When you land, they're going to think you're some sort of war god
and either sacrifice you and drink your blood to cure the AIDS
or start worshipping you.
I guess that's a possibility,
but then you have to fuck the women and you get AIDS either way.
Being worshipped is the only possible good way that's going to go if you come floating down with your magic gas on your lawn chair.
They're going to chop off your goddamn arm and sell it on a meat cart to someone who's looking to fix their AIDS.
If I just floated down, what would they say to me?
They would murder you.
They would think you're like
dying, you fucking god.
How do you come to my tribe?
What are you doing here?
We're just doing a bit of a balloon race
flowing through the old Africa here.
I am not interested anymore.
I have a terrible case of AIDS.
I must eat one of your arms
post-haste.
I need both of my arms, mate.
You can't have them.
But maybe back at the AIDS station, they could get you some immune pills.
That'd be good for you.
Some immune pills?
Yeah, for your immune system.
You're a very squeaky Australian dude, aren't you?
Well, I bet that's all the helium, mate.
What would you guys do if you were just like fucking...
One day you just woke up and you just got tested for AIDS and you had fucking AIDS?
What would be the first reaction?
I'd be upset.
Well, you have to figure out who gave you the AIDS, right?
You figure out who gave you the AIDS and then you go get them, right?
You go get them.
No, no, you wouldn't kill them.
You do something.
Because they haven't exactly killed you.
They've made the rest of your life really awful.
So you do something to make the rest of their life really awful.
You break their kneecap or something.
You put on a mask, of course.
You don't want to have AIDS and be in jail.
Give their parents AIDS.
If you have AIDS in jail, are you less likely to be raped?
No, you're more likely to be raped.
What?
How is that possible?
That doesn't make any sense.
Rapists can
smell it. They're like, how?
Just explain that you're HIV
positive and it seems like
a lot of people would leave you alone.
I bet actual rapists, though,
because I bet that you're not the first person to be thinking
of this. I'm sure people in the midst of being
tackled from the bushes are like, I'm HIV positive, I'm HIV positive. And they're just like, yeah, I bet that you're not the first person to be thinking of this. Like, I'm sure people in the midst of being, you know, tackled from the bushes are like,
I'm HIV positive, I'm HIV positive.
And there's like, yeah, I bet you are.
Like, and then they just call the block.
But you'd, like, go to the infirmary for treatment and stuff.
Me too.
Well, suddenly I don't feel too bad about this.
If you had AIDS, you would have a lot of fucking power with, I don't know, you'd just have a lot of power.
Like, you could just, like, people just wouldn't want to fuck with you. Or just, I don't know. You just have a lot of power. You could just... People just wouldn't
want to fuck with you or just...
I don't know. If you were like...
Think about if you were a rapist with AIDS,
you would be like the walking fucking
Satan.
You're like a walking biological weapon.
Yeah, you're absolutely right. Charlie Sheen wasn't
a rapist, but he
had sex with a lot of people
knowing he had AIDS. A lot of men, too.
Charlie was fucking some dudes. Yeah, that's how you aids you know you don't get aids from fucking bitches you
get aids from from from from fucking men like charlie sheen does when he smokes those three
grand rocks i know i've heard that like you'll you only get it from having sex with guys how
true is that that's like 95 true there's some poor guy out there who's like no i really i
fucked a chick she gave me aids like there's the one guy out there who's like, no, I fucked a chick.
She gave me AIDS.
There's the one guy, and if I ever get AIDS,
I'll be like, I fucked a chick.
He gave me AIDS.
But the reverse is not true.
So women can get sex by having sex with an AIDS guy because they're the receivers.
But guys generally don't get AIDS from having sex with women.
Yeah, and women generally would never get AIDS
from having sex with another woman Yeah, and women generally would never get AIDS from having sex with another
woman.
How does that happen? You've got to be really
rubbing those things together hard
to...
I guess that makes sense because most people with HIV
are male because
gay guys aren't fucking straight women
and giving them AIDS.
They're fucking other men.
I didn't know that. Why are gay guys the ones with AIDS?
Because they
put it in each other's butts
and the inside of your
butt is very thin, absorbent
tissue. So if anything goes in there,
you absorb it and you get it.
It's also Christ's way of punishing
sin. And the blacks.
And what I read was that
there's more likely to be a little tearing
and stuff in anal sex than vaginal sex.
And that can lead to the fluid transfer too.
Yeah.
AIDS came from like a monkey.
A guy fucked a monkey a long time ago.
Close. A guy ate monkey
brains.
Infected monkey brains.
How do we know that?
He ate monkey brains
and then he was gay
and then he fucked other gay dudes and it just started from there?
Yeah.
A gay monkey brain connoisseur.
Did the monkey have to be gay?
You said it was a gay monkey brain,
so maybe that implies
it's a gay monkey.
Some monkeys are gay.
Taylor, monkey expert?
I'm sure some of them are.
Where's Filthy when we need him?
I could not imagine fucking
a monkey. That would be
hard. Really? I thought you'd be down.
You're going to have to have sex with one
animal. Which animal are you going to have sex with?
Probably
a dog or a snake or something. A snake? animal what which animal you're gonna have sex with probably i don't know it'd probably be like
a dog or like a fucking like a like a snake or something a snake yeah that's an interesting
choice i'd never that wouldn't have been on my list a snake you can you know fucking stretch it
like a big ass like flashlight and you just you know stick your dick inside of it which i guess
it looks the least like an animal you stick your dick in the snake's mouth.
Yeah, I mean, it might bite you,
but don't get a venomous snake.
You stretch it out so it can fit your dick in there,
and then it just goes large.
But if it couldn't be a reptile,
it'd probably be just like a... No, not a dog.
It'd probably be like a pig or something.
Because pigs are really intelligent animals,
so they would know what's going on,
and if they like it,
they can just
have you ever seen that video of the pig fucking the chick no no i don't yeah yeah yeah it's a
video of a pig fucking a chick it's it's all it's it's been over the internet for decades uploaded
it yeah it's over on my youtube channel it's's private and everything. I recognize that room. Yeah, no, they're in a barn,
and the chick's on her hands and knees naked,
and the pig's mounting her, fucking her.
And I learned in ag class, agricultural class,
that pigs' penises are actually shaped like a corkscrew.
They're all spirally and crazy.
And he's giving her a good rogering in this video.
And it's not a lot of fun to watch.
It's pretty bizarre.
So, would you pick
pig? Is that what you're saying, Kyle?
Absolutely not.
Of course, it depends.
Am I getting fucked by the animal, or am I
fucking the animal? Of course not.
You're fucking the animal.
Well, if I'm fucking an animal,
I think you want to go look the tried and true
goat the Arab world has spoken
the goat is
your way to go apparently
they're readily available they have roughly
human sized vaginas
you know I mean if you fuck
a horse or a cow like
they're always shitting on their own pussies
and it's all gross back there
the goat could like fucking use it's all gross back there. The goat could, like, fucking use its horn.
Like, hit your ball sack or something.
You put its head when it's locked gates.
You know, the head goes through.
Like they put pilgrims in.
Pilgrims, huh?
You know.
Oh, that's a stock.
Yeah, yeah.
Stockade, yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
That was my class project in, like, fifth grade.
I made a stockade.
You still have that next to your sex swing? No, yeah. That was my class project in fifth grade. I made a stockade. You still have that next to your sex swing?
No, no. I kept it for a long time. It was really cool. It was so fucking bullshit.
Let me tell you what happened. I don't know if this is a good story or not, but me and my dad made my stockade, right?
We used two-by-sixes and four-by-four posts, and we painted it, and it was okay.
It had door hinges to make the thing go, and we we painted it and it it was okay okay it had like door hinges to make
the thing go and you know we sized it for for me because you know i was doing the project and i was
in the stockade talking about stockades it was it was a great thing heather stone who was in a
wheelchair in a wheelchair her daddy made her one that looked like he hired a team of fucking carpenters to make
it was you could have put someone in this thing for real it looked like a legitimate stockade it
was this thick black wood that looked old-timey it was big enough to put a grown man in and they
show up in fucking class with this thing and totally upstage me i was livid did you feel like
a bitch such Such the bitch!
But it was like, that chick can't
even get herself to the bathroom. You're telling me
she constructed that fucking 200
pound stockade? Horseshit,
Dr. Stone. And nobody can call her on it because
you can't call out a cooking girl. I called
her on it. And I also called
her on the fact that she had those rotten teeth
even though her daddy was a dentist. What was up with
that, Dr. Stone? You couldn't fix those rotten shit even though her daddy was a dentist. What was up with that, Dr. Stone?
You couldn't fix those rotten shit-mouthed teeth your daughter had?
What was her disability? Why was she in a wheelchair?
Arthritis.
Maybe that impacted her ability to brush.
She sounds like a real terror.
The last thing you'd want to give a girl with horrible teeth
with a dentist for a dad and crippled, useless legs
is the joy
of winning a menial competition
she doesn't need it
how you could go you know prance around meadows and stuff you have legs that work
we learned our lesson from that day when it was solar oven time the whole family chipped in we
made us so i showed up to school with a solar oven that was capable of cooking a whole
goddamn pizza.
Everybody else
is sitting around
and theirs wouldn't work.
Mine had this big
locking glass lid on it.
I'm over the,
you know,
aluminum foil
and insulation
on the inside.
You could cook,
you could boil water
in my fucking solar oven.
It was outrageous.
I'm about to go
to the sun and eat
some crippled
rotten piece of bitch.
Hey,
so I want to ask, I want you, you fucking bitch. Hey, so I want to ask Kyle
a question. Dude,
why did you
stop making videos of you shooting shit?
A lot of reasons,
right? I'm curious. I loved
watching you blow shit up. I thought it was fucking
cool. Overhead's crazy,
for one thing. Like the overhead for
making one of the videos and now
youtube monetization uh demonetization that makes it real hard um i've always had uh like rules and
regulations imposed on me that no other like gun youtube channel had imposed on them with the
licensing that i had to have so like if arnold schwarzenegger is making another terminator movie
they don't say hey arnold you need a federal explosives license.
He's like, oh, we've got the guy.
He comes and he's got the license.
And I just, I shoot the fake gun.
He doesn't need a fucking license.
But they tell me that I do.
And so there's just years of licensing
that I've been going through
to try to like get enough license
to be able to do the kind of videos that I want to make.
Because I don't want to make shitty videos.
I like blowing up cars that are 40 yards away from me
and having traffic flying around.
And you can't do that without an explosive license.
And so, yeah, a bunch of reasons.
What if you just uploaded the video without getting the license?
You'd get in serious legal trouble.
Like they could come after me.
Would they actually, though? They have better shit to do no they don't yeah yeah they absolutely see that's the that's that's what i'm talking about with them like
zeroing in on me when they don't other youtubers like like i've been warned by like federal
agencies and and like district attorneys and stuff that like don't do this or we'll come and get you
you know like so they're they're very serious about it so just can't but um i have some plans And district attorneys and stuff that like, don't do this or we'll come and get you.
So they're very serious about it.
So just can't.
But I have some plans for next year that are going to be pretty interesting.
Where do you even buy a fucking RPG or a big ass tank or some shit?
Where do you get that?
It depends on what you're talking about.
I've never done an RPG.
I've got a law rocket launcher that shoots training rounds. They're 37mm Law Rockets with a little
bit of explosive in them.
I got that from a collector. The rockets
are hard to find, but I know one of the few guys in the
country that has a supply of them.
They're $250 a
shot. I've shot
four of them before, I think. It's pretty
fucking expensive. With a
tank, though, the laws around tanks
are interesting. If the
tank doesn't have a live-firing cannon
in it, then it's just a vehicle.
It's just a big car
or a big truck.
There's collectors, these
millionaire dudes who are
aficionados, collectors of
World War II stuff.
Like I said, they're millionaires, so they just
collect tanks. Most of them
don't have live-firing tanks, but I know a guy
who has live-firing tanks, and
to do that, first you have to have enough money
to buy a $300,000
Sherman tank or whatever from the EC-8,
and then you have to get yourself
that license that I'm talking about,
and then you have to get another license,
a Type 10 Manufacturer of
Destructive Devices license, which
is very difficult to get. I've
had one. And so
then you have to make that tank
a live breach. You have to
rebuild, because you can't just go buy
a new cannon for the tank. You have to have
an engineer come in
who's an expert at this sort of thing and
fabricate a cannon for you.
And then you have to produce your
own explosive shells which requires both the type 10 and the federal explosive license in conjunction
working together so a lot of hoops to jump that sounds like yeah that sounds like way too complicated
a lot easier to just go out on the street and be like all right we got some hobos here we're gonna
pay them to to eat hot peppers so I mean I'm trying to think
like I've shot guns on my stream illegally before like we'll just shoot
guns like in a park somewhere and nobody gives a shit like I've never gotten like
shit for that so yeah maybe don't roll those dice again I've like shot
fireworks like off like roofs and shit like in the middle of the
street and shit like i don't know nobody seems to care but i guess it's different like i'm not
using a tank blowing a car up but yeah tanks are fun tanks are fun because it's like i i was i
like the history channel growing up as a kid like before it became rednecks and aliens or whatever
the fuck it is now yeah yeah so like i i'm really interested in
like world war ii history and and like to be able to like get down into one of those world war ii
tanks and like it's all the same way it was for like those poor fucking guys that went off and
fought the nazis and it's just shit this is all like the same way it was back then like i got in
a russian armored personnel carrier and the gauges glow in the dark. And today
they use an element called
tritium to make things
light up like that or they just use
electronics or something like that
or they use fiber optics and stuff
to light up the gauges.
Back then they used radium
which is a radioactive
element that's active.
So when I'm looking at the gauges of this armor personnel carrier
glowing in the dark while I'm in it all shut up with the hatch closed,
it's glowing like Homer Simpson's style with radiation.
So, like, I don't know.
That's some of my favorite shit that I've done.
It's, like, gotten down into pieces of history like that.
Yeah, that's cool, man.
Yeah, but to answer your question,
we're going to do some cool things on that channel next year year I've got a lot of good ideas I'm gonna do
some stuff I said we're to have you been following the phase drama that's top I
read it today oh with him and his fucking girlfriend or some shit him and
his girlfriend went to like a bar nightclub type thing.
I'm going to lay it out. I think I've got all my facts right.
He and his girlfriend went to this nightclub, I'll call it.
It was towards the end of the night.
They were closing down. His girlfriend went to
the restroom and Ice waited outside
in a place where he wasn't supposed to be.
Apparently that's where they count the money and stuff.
It's by the office. Wait, Ice
did this? Did I say Ice?
I think it's FaZe Banks.
Does that sound right?
Definitely a FaZe dude.
I have no idea.
I think it's FaZe Banks.
Yeah.
So it's one of the professional Counter-Strike players.
I think he was more of a COD guy.
Most of the FaZe guys, like the old school ones, have moved into vlogging.
So anyway, he's in the spot and
the security goes down there and says hey like would you move you're not supposed to stand in
this spot um because this is a woman in the office counting money getting nervous about male voices
where they don't belong and uh they have security cam footage and you can see that
the guard is like hey you know can you move away? And he's dancing and not responding like you're supposed to
when someone says this is a restricted area.
And somewhere he starts walking away,
and then he puts the security guard in a headlock,
and then a bunch of security guards come around
and semi-forcefully take him up the stairs.
He put him in a playful playful headlock but he was
drunk and you're a security guy so of course you don't take it playfully you take it like get the
fuck off me it was really bad footage like you could see like they would the security cameras
at the top of stairs so you're looking down through like handrails and stuff you can't make
out playful or not um there's some sort of either way it fucking kind of seems like a stupid thing
to do yeah so there's a scuffle there and then the security guard gets either way it fucking kind of seems like a stupid thing to do yeah so
there's a scuffle there and then the security guard gets back up and they kind of all push
him up but it's not like they're beating him like a woman in a baseball stadium they they're just
kind of all pushing him so that he has no choice but to walk out towards the doors so his girlfriend
and his girlfriend's mom is there the mom like apologizes for their behavior and they send him outside.
While they're outside, they get in like two more fights.
Faze Banks throws a glass.
It doesn't hit anything, but it looked like he attempted to throw like a shot glass or something,
maybe bigger whiskey glass at someone.
There was some sort of scuffle and Faze Banks reaches over and punches a guy in the back of the head.
But then he retold the story in his vlogs.
Like he's the victim and the hero.
You know, like these guys were terrible to me and then I valiantly defended my girlfriend.
Valiantly defended myself by punching a guy in the back of the head.
I mean, I guess when you're, I mean, it's just good drama for YouTube and stuff.
That's kind of what they go for.
I mean, I feel like the situation was so – like a small situation.
Everyone just blew it up just for views or whatever.
I mean –
So his fan base, he made some vlogs talking about how terrible this place was, how the security roughed him up and treated him poorly.
talking about how terrible this place was,
how the security like roughed them up and treated them poorly.
And they're like destroying him on Yelp
and Google reviews
and they're sending text messages to them.
And they're just really online bullying these people.
But it's their business, right?
So when you online bully a business,
you're impacting the way someone makes a living.
It's not quite the same as like mean Facebook posts.
Some mean Yelp posts might mean they don't get customers
and uh so the guy made a video defending himself with security footage proving his points all along
and it got like at the top of reddit today and it got a lot of attention i was i don't know
it seemed like he's in the same neighborhood i mean good on that guy i mean uh yeah well i mean
i've been in some bad situations.
I've almost been sued by a few businesses because of some shit.
I mean, when it's live, people don't really know it's live sometimes.
And I walk into a business, one of the employees will be rude,
and then people will one-star them on Yelp or something,
and then I'll get the flack for it,
and I'll have to deal with the business emailing me,
telling them they're going to sue me,
and I have to try and make it right.
Sometimes it sucks.
I tell them, sorry, nothing I can do.
Other times I go in there and try to make it right.
I ended up working for one of these businesses.
I went and live streamed a charity event working there for an hour.
Really?
Yeah, to try to make it better.
This other time this i was threatened
by a mobster or some shit and he's he worked there and then he ended up going back talking
to the owner and he said the that guy got fired and you know i just apologized and he apologized
and i've heard of that story i never knew the ending of it so the owner came back and
got the owner came back and yeah they they fired the guy who's
just you know i guess a manager and he's just like talking out of his ass i mean i don't blame
the bit like him or the businesses in any of these situations because i know when they get a bunch of
phone calls it's like hey the guy with the camera is gonna fucking rob your store you know people
are just trolling them so i don't i don't blame them like i feel bad for any business that ever
gets any negative impacts because i know it's like they just don't understand.
You know what I mean?
Yeah, I do.
So mine's smaller than you, but people used to have pizzas and shit delivered to my house a lot.
And they'd order expensive orders.
You know, they'd have eight pizzas delivered.
Or they'd configure one pizza in a way that it costs like $65 for a pizza.
Like you order the works, but you get every topping individually,
and they just really maximize the price,
thinking that I was going to be like on the hook for this pizza,
when what really happened is I'd just answer and be like,
I don't know anything about this.
Please don't take orders for this address
unless they pay in advance.
And then people do that.
They buy prepaid pizzas and have them sent to my house.
And that sounds
awesome right yeah you know sometimes you're not in the mood for pizza they don't like oftentimes
i stream after dinner and pizzas are just showing up when i'm full and i mean you can sometimes i
mean i would just take the pizza and just throw it some like just put it on the counter or just
you do something with it like i don't know i'd have a slice or two just you know to make them feel involved it's kind of a gift i feel like i'd be rude not to have a slice
or two you fuck the pizza yeah i mean i've had a sausage i've had food come by that i don't really
want either that people will pay for and we'll just i'll just throw it off like the balcony
uh my apartment or i'll just like like I'll just throw it into the street.
We had this game where we tried to throw shit
and hit the other building.
I don't know.
We make a game out of it. It's fun.
How do you get along with your neighbors?
They hate me, dude.
I've been evicted four times this year.
Everyone hates me.
You've been evicted four times this year?
Well, evicted. They just tell me to leave.
I don't actually get evicted on my record
but they're like alright you gotta go you gotta get out of here
and then you just
a week later you're still there
a week later I'm gone so I don't want an eviction on my record
but this place I just moved into
my neighbors seem to be okay because they can't hear me
because this place is really well built
but the main issue is I'm usually loud as fuck
my second apartment got evicted for
throwing fire off the balcony into the street and landed on a tree which is fucking stupid but it
was an accident we're supposed to light we're supposed to light of a t-shirt and put it on
the balcony and like roast marshmallows on the balcony but the person who lit the t-shirt just
threw it off the balcony and it landed on a tree and we had to go put it out so they evicted us
for that uh first place i got evicted because i think they knew we're throwing shit off the balcony and it landed on a tree and we had to go put it out. So they evicted us for that.
First place I got evicted because I think they knew we were throwing shit off the balcony
and into the street.
It was just a pile of
burned clothes.
All under your...
Yeah, I mean, I don't know.
Pretty much. And then the third place
I got evicted for playing
music too loud and walking
too loud on the fucking floor
because I guess it was built really poorly
and they could just hear us fucking bang and walk.
You do walk loudly.
We could hardly do an ad read when you were walking.
It wasn't that bad, was it?
I want to talk about the CX party.
I saw you talking about renting that $10,000 a night house
and selling tickets. And the stream was being shitty as fuck because they were like, ah, you'll never renting that $10,000 a night house and selling tickets.
And the stream was being shitty as fuck because they were like,
ah, you'll never sell that many tickets.
We've done paintball events.
I did one by myself on my channel years ago.
And I got like 180 people to come and spend like $100 each.
And we've done them as a podcast here.
And we get like, I don't know, 75, 80 people to to come and spend $100, $150 each just to play paintball.
These are kids who don't necessarily have a ton of disposable income.
They're getting their parents to make this happen.
I don't see any reason why you couldn't sell $50 tickets when there's booze and food included and a big-ass fucking mansion and the experience of you know the the live streamed
party yeah i i i am not worried about selling at least 200 tickets to make my money back i mean
it's 50 is like a normal price for like a good club and i i think that's you know for free booze
it's just a fucking steal and it's just good content for me and it's fun for everyone and
it's yeah i don't know it's i think it's going to be some crazy shit like it's just good content for me and it's fun for everyone and it's yeah i don't
know it's i think it's going to be some crazy shit like it's going to be really good that house is
badass it's like a castle yeah i mean 10 grand fucking day but hey if it works out dude this
event is definitely gonna be the biggest event that i've done yet so you're gonna land in a
helicopter is that the plan i'm going to try and get a helicopter.
I was looking up some prices, and it's like two grand and shit.
It's pricey, but I think it'd be worth it just to be able to put in the title of my YouTube highlight, fucking helicopter.
I don't know.
Yeah, yeah.
I think it would just make it more memorable.
Yeah.
Do you ever do any like branded integrations like like you know you go to the helicopter company and you and you like pitch
them the whole thing like hey your your logo is going to be on there you're going to be delivered
by like prestige helicopters like well i have my uh my manager trying to like get a company that
will just give us a helicopter for free but i don't think think my fan base markets people who would want to
buy a helicopter.
I don't know. Maybe.
It depends what they're doing with the helicopter.
If it's helicopter tours of LA, I know that's a thing.
That's the kind of company that I would approach.
The people who do the helicopter tours.
I've done videos with helicopters
and the bit was
there's helicopter hog hunting
in Texas where you get in a chopper and he flies
you over pigs and you machine gun them.
Those guys would give us
helicopters for free and
X amount of flight hours. It's like
$600 an hour or something like that.
We'd get two helicopters
at times. They'd
always throw that shit in if you can
make it seem like it's worth their while.
That's actually good.
I did not think about hitting up a tour company or something.
I'll definitely have to look into that.
I'm probably going to do it in Florida or something anyways.
I think most companies in Florida are just going to be small as fuck, and they're going to just do anything.
They'll be like, oh, yeah, sure, why not?
Because Florida just has really small companies everywhere.
Yeah, yeah.
No, that sounds like a badass idea. I like using Airbnb and VRBO
and shit like that when we go places.
And I'm always looking at the places
that are like a grand a night.
And for a grand a night,
you get a literal mansion.
So for 10 grand a night,
that's one of the biggest houses I've ever seen.
That's like some Tom Cruise shit.
Well, I wanted to get an Airbnb,
but they don't let you throw a party
and I'd get sued.
And I want to do it for New Year's.
We have plenty of time, but I don't know.
Hopefully we just sell enough tickets.
200 doesn't seem like
really out there fucking number.
I agree. Especially if you've already
started promoting it now and talking about it.
If it was spur of the moment,
it might be hard, but that'd be fucking cool.
I look forward to seeing that. All of my events have been spur of the moment, it might be hard, but that'd be fucking cool. I look forward to seeing that.
All of my events have been spur of the moment.
Literally four or five days in advance
for promotion, that's it.
When did the fear factor
had about 50, 60 people show up
four days in advance when I promoted it?
I think it'll be good.
Yeah, I'm excited to see
that. That'd be fucking cool.
It's neat to me that he's running a business over there.
Am I selling tickets?
I'm watching the business, like the entrepreneur in you,
but you're also...
People doubt this shit, dude.
You're a pretty wacky guy, right?
So the entrepreneur combined with who Ice is, is like, you know, I think I'll just rent a $10,000 house and throw a giant party and get people to pepper spray themselves and paintball.
The stuff you do isn't normal business stuff, but it's working for you.
I like it.
I'm going to get to see a lot of cock that night.
Oh, so much cock.
Yeah.
It's good shit.
It's funny.
I mean, I don't know i i when i was younger i
wanted to be a like a business person like going the business or anything i have my business degree
um but uh yeah i mean i don't know it's not really it's just fun to be honest but if i can
make my money back and have fun for free hey that's the fucking ideal situation you may as
well yeah that's awesome taylor have you been on the subreddit
this week other than the female versions
of ourselves?
No, not really.
What is on there?
Somebody posted, I guess,
the Sarah XXX girl. They were talking
to her and she was like, have you talked to
Kyle or whatever? She said something like,
whenever he gets the balls to message me.
I didn't like that very much
so like
it sounds like this is pretty tongue in cheek
right well you know
in the moment she's like a fucking
madman with this shit yeah yeah her
exact words were
she said
maybe when he grows the balls to
actually message me rather than sending his subscribers
my way and I was like ah i don't i don't like that so i wrote a rather nasty reply on the on the
subreddit and i called her a bad name and 30 minutes later she's replied and she took the
high ground and i immediately knew i i had fucked up She was like, ah, surprised you would call me that.
That kind of took me by surprise.
Blah, blah, blah, this and that.
And I was like, ah, shit, she's right.
There's a Wings dig in here.
Yeah.
Is there?
I'm just saying, Wings first rule,
don't put the putty on the pedestal.
That's what I said.
Rule number two, resist the urge to eat any of your girlfriend's many children.
That doesn't
apply here.
That was my reply here.
Read the whole thing, because I don't have it in front of me.
You see, boys, this is what happens when you break Wing's first
rule. Don't put the pussy on the pedestal.
Rule number two is, resist the urge
to eat any of your girlfriend's children, but that doesn't
apply here. Honestly, if that's her attitude,
I'm not interested. No worries,
but we'll find a new cam whore to fixate on.
Do you want me to read her reply?
Yes, you may read it.
I just finished reading hers. Hers is better.
Yes, it is!
Well, I guess this will be our first interaction,
and I hoped it would be a little better than this, but I'd
like to add some context to the joke I made
privately. Basically, what I was trying to convey
is that I'd be interested in Kyle, the who,
not the what. So far,
it's just been FPS Russia, who has a lot
of fans that have been relaying messages, which is
fun, sure, but I don't think anyone could
reasonably expect me to do anything with that.
My point being, the same way you don't
know enough about who I am as a person
to have me on the show, which, as I
said before, is totally fair, I don't
know anything about you to tell your fans,
show you a good time.
I'd have been more happy to talk about,
to talk to you and find out that private message wasn't intended and demeaning
in any way,
quite the opposite being called a cam whore right away.
Wasn't something I was expecting.
I still think you're cute and funny and know how to keep a podcast podcast
entertaining with those wild ideas, but I must say
the 180 flip took me by surprise.
Side note. Having followed PKA
for a little bit now, it seems you guys just have quite
the community. However, reading comments
like, just let us know, Kyle, and we'll take her
out, got me a little worried. Yeah,
the murder threats. I can see why she doesn't like
the murder threats. Oh, so
there was a cam girl that went on your
podcast and she got threats?
No, well, there's a girl
her username is
xxx on Reddit and
she does nude pictures and gifs
and videos and stuff like that.
She's just asking for it.
She got
the death threat because of
that comment
that I wrote to her.
You want to read my final reply to her. So then I,
you want to read my final reply to her?
If you scroll down.
So she replies to that too.
Okay.
I apologize for the cam horror comment.
I suppose digital muse is much more polite.
I didn't care for the ball growing thing,
though.
Kind of a turnoff.
Oh,
and disregard that we'll take her out comment.
He's just being silly.
She wrote,
Hey,
thanks.
I appreciate that smiley face as for my comment
yeah i probably should have phrased that differently i didn't mean it the way it was
perceived but i realize it's not exactly a good excuse my apologies she took the high road the
high road she took the high road uh yeah did a good job digging yourself back out of that hole
but it was only possible because she was so cool in handling it that way. Agreed. Yes, I agree all the way around.
But, you know, she added me on Snapchat, and we've cleared it all up.
I've been talking to her a little bit.
Very nice young lady.
I apologize profusely for using that dirty word.
So I'm glad we got that all sorted out.
Yeah.
That's a slur.
Just like Pocahontas and the N-word.
Yeah, yeah.
All slurs.
Cam whore.
Yeah, I should have said that.
She's not a cam whore. Just say cam girl.
That's the preferred thing, right?
I was trying to be nasty, you know?
I know you were trying to be nasty.
I'm making you say it.
I was taking the lowest road I could and being an asshole.
Yeah, it was a low blow.
That's what I was going for.
It's okay to be an asshole
to a cam girl, like in most
situations.
Well, we like her.
Yeah, I think Sarah's on the
nice list, not the naughty list.
I'm a big fan.
I like her. Have you actually given her some of the who and not not the naughty list. I'm a big fan. I like her.
Have you actually given her some of the
who and not just the what yet?
Inside this
seemingly thin
body is just a ruined mess
of Taco Bell and fast food
and a lot of feelings
and heart.
We talked about some normal stuff.
I showed her my steak prowess.
My
cooking skills.
What did she show you?
Nothing he hasn't seen before.
Right?
Where do you go from
where we already are?
Unless
she shows me her spleen.
To be fair, I'm more interested in to see
like if she's got a beautiful personality to match you know the best of her which is obviously
beautiful and so far so good so yeah i'm glad we got that all worked out um and uh and sort of
and when you first mentioned the the steak thing i was like ah dull but it's like actually wait a
minute that's that's a talent that people
appreciate. She might be thinking
I could eat that someday.
Yeah, well, she mentioned that she liked
steak, and I was like, ah,
you were in luck.
And she's a big Lord of the Rings fan,
Taylor. Keep your hands off, though.
Really? Yeah.
Oh, add me on Snapchat.
I'll add her on Snapchat.
Oh, she's a big Lord of the Rings fan.
You know what?
That's the best thing you've said yet about her.
I'm going to ruin it.
She's a Hobbit fan.
Oh, never mind.
That's how you know that it's a no-go if she's a Hobbit fan.
If she likes Lord of the Rings, she probably doesn't like Hobbit that much.
Yeah.
So that's safe.
I'm looking at a bunch of her naked pictures right now.
These are pretty great.
I'm just a real big fan.
Yeah.
Yep.
I shouldn't be staring at all these right now.
That's not good for the show.
I mean, it's good for you, and then if you fuck it, I mean, right? Four hours flies by. It's good it's good you know for you and then if you fuck it I mean right four hours flies
but it's good for me but
the people out there probably want us to get back
to talking about
dicks and yeah
I have a topic I don't know if it works well
with with ice but have you followed
the Conor McGregor
McGregor drama
what's the drama
oh my god so I have a video.
We can watch the first
two and a half minutes of it
and they lay it out there really well.
Is this Brennan Schwab on
Rogan's show talking about...
That's exactly it. Oh, I'm glad you got this.
I was going to suggest this, but I forgot.
Yeah, this is good stuff right here. I hope this is all true.
I hope this is all true. This is a movie.
This is a movie. So queue up at zero and let me know when you're there and there is there
any background you got to give for this uh no they do it well netflix has a movie coming out
with martin scorsese's making called the irishman i don't care about that i want a completely
different movie called the irishman that's just just about what they're about to lay out there.
So all you need to know before this thing starts,
the rumors are Conor McGregor got into a bar fight,
and then they lay out much more than I knew.
Ready, set, play.
What did Conor do?
Did he just get in a brawl in a bar?
Is that real?
Oh, so, you know, in Dana White's scrim, he goes,
listen, if it was that big big there'd be more video of it
Dan goes doesn't seem like that big of a deal to fight a bar like a normal thing
I know in Dublin and that are blowing me up or saying dude
It's real Connor's a bit of trouble because he has a friend from one area of Ireland
That's in this mafia and that got beat up by these guys Connor finds out the guys who beat up his friend are in this bar so connor comes in there beats the hell out of that guy well that guy's associated
with this you know pretty intense mafia family over there so now there's a hit out on connor
is what they're saying what yes for 900 grand what now how much is that is true how much of it
is speculating yeah holy and because on my podcast i i, you know, why is it that big of a deal though?
Like that's just normal like especially in Ireland really fucking fight
Promotion that they just monster doesn't seem to care. So listen, they're talking about how dangerous this game is he's dealing with gnarly dudes whoa but then uh again i guess in dublin especially conor
being who he is you can have these associations with this underground world stuff like that
we're trying to say about dublin bro it's awesome i've ever been okay never mind yeah he might
actually die then yeah yeah i don't know what to believe i don't know the ins and outs of it i don't you know and dana again said this thing is scrum it's always fascinating
when dan does those scrums because it's all hearsay stuff like that but then they go you
know what's next for connor you gotta fight for me he goes listen man guy's 100 million dollars
in the bank fighting sucks yeah i don't know if he's ever gonna get all right we'll pause it here
so so while we were talking he said that these guys, like,
murdered people in the crowds.
Like, they'd hold a boxing promotion and kill a guy, like,
in front of everyone.
That they're just bad dudes not afraid of anything.
And I don't know.
My impression of mafia guys, regardless of whether it's Irish or Italian
or Russian, is not that they're, like, incredible fighters.
It's just that they're willing to be silly violent.
They go straight to shooting.
They go straight to baseball bats.
When normal people are still doing the chest pushing thing,
stage of a build-up.
I don't know.
I'm assuming he didn't know it was a mobster
when he got into a fight with him, huh?
I don't know what he knew.
I don't know what's true.
I've heard this story retold
where connor needs to pay 900 grand for forgiveness right so so the 900 grand number
was consistent but in one case it was a hit on him in the other it was like uh what would you
call that a ransom type thing so a payoff to get back i mean good graces honestly i'd probably just
move out of the fucking country
and just say, fuck you guys.
Just go do my own thing.
And if there's people out to get him,
if I was him, there's people out to get me,
I'd probably feel flattered by that.
Like, okay, people are actively trying to
murder me. I'm going to run
away from you.
It makes life more interesting.
I've never thought about it like that being hated enough or cared about enough to be murderable it's a little touchy
i think later in this thing they explained connor's reaction was he has a brand new baby it's
i don't know eight nine months old or something uh he wanted to get his his wife fiance i don't
know d and his baby
out of the country. That was what he was trying to do.
But then he just showed up at like traffic
court today or something. He had to, right?
But that's
risky business if there's a $900,000
hit on you. So I don't know what the
scoop is. Don't you want to see this movie
where he's just like
rapping. They kill his wife and kid, of
course. Sorry, that's what happens. Of course, that's in the first couple minutes. And then he's just rapping those kill his wife and kid of course sorry that's what happens
and then he's just wrapping those hands
up you know
and he's just beating mobsters to death
come on this would be great
this would be the best movie ever
the Irishman
it could be pretty good
it'd be called The Notorious right
no there's already
a movie called notorious and
that's got that's about biggie if uh if there was a hit on you guys would you just uh would you like
pay the ransom or would you just say fuck you feel flattered by it and go do and like get away from
it i'd spend a lot of time scared in my house with my guns is what i would do right what if i built a
tower on the house so i could see from all directions like uh like those koreans like an observatory
la riots yeah yeah and i just sat up there with binoculars that guy had the sickest mustache it
would uh it would be a good talking point you could tell people that you have a hit on you
and uh i think it'd make conversations more interesting if somebody was gonna take a hit
out on you guys,
what would it be for?
If you heard, dude, this guy's got a half a million dollar hit on you,
what does your mind go to of like, oh, it's probably for this?
I probably fucked his girlfriend.
That's a lot of money for one girl.
I don't know what else I could do.
I'm not going to fight people.
I guess I could call him an asshole or something,
and he might get offended by that.
So, I mean, the worst I could probably do
is have sexual intercourse with his girlfriend,
knowing that she had a boyfriend,
but I just don't really give a fuck.
And hopefully she's not a tranny, by the way.
Hopefully not, but, you know,
sometimes it's a roll of the dice.
I had a guy, I forget if he threatened to kill me or rape me but he he did that and he uploaded it to youtube while he was driving
like that was he made like a little quick quick hit vlog while he's driving around
saying that he was gonna kill or rape me and uh to teach me a lesson and um
he was a he was real red and he was real redneck, I'm trying to say.
And he seemed very upset.
It was during the...
I did this thing, sort of like a men's rights thing,
saying that when men are beaten,
it's a similar kind of PTSD to a woman being raped.
And I think I even said that it's worse if the rape is consensual because...
Not consensual, like a date rape
situation because there she's usually
not physically damaged because of course
vaginas are built for penises
and whereas a guy is physically damaged
and they both have the same kind of after effect
where they're distrustful of people, they don't want to go
in the dark alley
and people took that
I took like I was pro-rape and
this guy uploaded a video saying that i forget
if he was gonna rate me or kill me i'm not i'm not positive but he was so against rape that he
was willing to give it one go just to convince you that you're wrong yeah i'm not usually a
rapist but you sir like you're going around i've had a lot of death threats that one even though
it wasn't that credible was the most credible of them and uh yeah he said he was going to do that but i didn't
take it that seriously fuck him you you just ignored it like oh he might kill me whatever
uh it was kind of a like you know where i live i'll see you then you know like that was my thought
process uh i mean yeah i mean that's about right if you have guns as well at your house that's
totally fine about right um i've had people threaten to kill me as well but they're all
fake bullshit it's not real no one's ever made a video about it i think the worst thing was people
make like craigslist ads and i had this guy walk in my house uh so he somebody made a craigslist
ad saying uh come fuck my Like hey I'm a girl
My name is Caroline come fuck me
That's how girls talk
And uh
My girlfriend is Caroline
And I was with her in the kitchen
And this dude like who's already in the house
And we just came back we left the door unlocked
We came back from the grocery store
We're in the kitchen dude comes downstairs
He's already in the house upstairs walking around and shit.
Comes downstairs.
We just stare each other in the eyes.
He's like fat Mexican dude with fucking face tats.
And he's just, we're just staring at each other in the eye.
And he's like, the Craigslist ad?
And he's like staring at my girlfriend.
I'm like, no.
It's fake.
It's bullshit.
You're not here.
Are you here to fuck her?
And he's like, yeah.
And I'm like, well, it's fucking bullshit, dude. You got here like are you here to fuck her and he's like yeah i'm like
well it's fucking bullshit dude you got to go and it was a scary situation because tattoos
yeah i thought he was gonna pull out a knife and kill me i thought that was it dude i thought
like i literally if he pulled out a knife i'd have i'd probably just run my girlfriend would
have to fend off for herself she'd be the sacrifice that guy i mean you're faster than her
i mean yeah 100 she'd be the sacrifice i mean i like you're faster than her i mean yeah 100 she'd
be the sacrifice i mean i like her but i'm not gonna die for her fuck that shit dude i i'm
starting to like her not not i mean i think it's cool that you found a girl willing to tolerate
all the nonsense that comes with being ice's girl oh i so every time i go out with a girl i have a little like a little
speech with them i sit them down and i'm just like this is what's gonna happen this is how it's gonna
be you have to just get the fuck over it or it's not gonna work out and they either agree or they
don't agree you're so charming if they don't agree we just have sex and then i just never
talk to them again if they agree then i will date them
not because i don't say like that makes it sound like i'm some sort of asshole but
no sometimes that first option is is the is the best to go i mean if she's gonna i mean
fuck sex i mean i'm not gonna deny the sex right but um most like if a girl's gonna come in my
life she needs to understand what goes on and I can't change everything around just for her.
I mean, I could, but that wouldn't be a good thing to do.
You found a chick who's down with that.
How does she feel about the frequent making out with men and dick grabbing and the like?
Is she just like, oh, it's all boys will be boys?
She's just playing.
That probably pissed her off.
She said he did.
We do the dick initiation in front of her sometimes.
Like, it's just, you know, she's just, she has come to terms with it.
She, like, is like, all right, whatever.
Honestly, having a girl there would make me more comfortable with it.
Yeah, I mean.
The dick handshake.
If you have to do it, you want some women around, right?
Can you clear up the cam whore thing?
Did you finger that girl or not?
No, I used a dildo on her pussy.
Okay, the Hitachi Magic Wand, right?
Yeah, and that actually was the first time
my girlfriend was not very happy with me,
but I was like, listen, I told you this.
Like, I got to do shit.
I got to do what I got to do,
and you got to just get over it. Baby, I got 300,000 subs. What else. I got to do shit. I got to do what I got to do, and you got to just get over it.
Baby, I got 300,000 subs.
What else am I going to do?
I'm surprised that she didn't know what a Hitachi wand was.
I thought that everyone knew what that was.
She didn't even know what it was until then.
Well, yeah.
I mean, she doesn't have a dildo to masturbate with.
I guess she just fingers herself.
I'm not really sure what she wants to masturbate with.
I didn't know what it was
either when she pulled that thing out.
I thought you shove it in the pussy.
I was trying to shove it in
and she was like...
You can do that.
It'll go.
It'll go.
It'll go.
It vibrates its way in.
It'll go.
I've got two of them. It vibrates its way in. It'll go. It'll go.
I've got two of them.
I've got two of those things.
I've got one that's got a speed adjuster on it, like a dial as an accessory.
I've got two of the big ones.
I've got the mini one that charges with a USB.
Yeah, those things are excellent.
Mine only has the two options where it's insanely powerful vibrating or even more bananas vibrating.
Where like you'll have it on and like just the noise of listening to it just...
And you're like, man, the first time I used it, I was like, I wonder what goes like this.
Why do you guys have these?
Because we're courteous lovers.
Yeah. And so like you hear that thing ringing
the first time or buzzing and you're like ah she's probably not gonna want to start this high up on
this escalation ladder let's find another setting and all it is is just like a fucking blender of
yes of pussy juice making plastic and rubber so because we have one in the house and uh but the thing is when i broke my leg i was using
it to like vibrate the ankle like to get the swelling out or whatever it's it's a muscle
massager as well well colin doesn't know what's what you know so it would just be like in the
living room then hope comes from from college and she's like why is there a vibrator by the couch it's like
why do you know that and that's pretty much how it's the only vibrator like if
there was a dong like a see-through translucent purple dick there like you
couldn't be like oh no I use this to beat the soreness out of my shoulders
shoulders.
You couldn't do that.
With the Hitachi Magic Wand,
it is so... It's a drain cleaner.
I've used it on my shoulders
before when I'm sore. You turn that thing
on, and it's a genuine muscle relaxer.
It really is. It is so powerful.
It's so powerful.
I don't have a clip, but I can't imagine
how intense that is to have
that thing on.
It makes me want to buy one now for other reasons.
They're kind of expensive.
They're like $80.
Just having a cord sucks.
No, I disagree.
I'm all about corded stuff and all sorts of tools.
And one, it has more power.
It doesn't wear out.
And in my experience, cordless stuff, not just vibrators or whatever,
but if it's rechargeable, it's going to last two or three years
regardless of how much you use it, and then the battery will suck.
So the little one I have is rechargeable.
I haven't had any issues from it.
Sometimes you forget to keep it charged, though.
You pull it out, and you're like, eh, eh, eh.
Like it only vibrated for like three seconds.
Nobody liked that.
Trust me, this is great.
The last girl thought it was cool.
Yeah, exactly, right? I wore it out on melissa or whatever ah dang old thing it's brand
new i promise but the uh the corded one you're right you're absolutely right i prefer corded
with like serious power tools like if i'm like like i've got a big drill like i don't know what
it is like a quarter horsepower some shit like a big fucking like man drill that's got the side shape of an f yeah yeah
and I it I want the plug-in thing when I'm really doing some drilling and in the same regard I I
want a heavy duty sex toy you could beat a woman to death with a Hitachi wand you I mean it is
legit uh I broke one both literally and out. Both literally and figuratively.
Absolutely, yeah.
Do you guys actively use, like,
sex toys with, like, your girlfriends?
Yeah.
Because I feel like that would be so fucking weird.
Oh, that would be weird.
That's where your line is.
I don't know.
If I have a dick and I'm hard and I'm naked
Maybe if I like high five my buddy and just hold it under his nutsack
And like you know just some light petting
That's just like all good fun that's just for the memes
But
What makes you think that it's weird to like use a magic wand with your girl
It's not weird I just feel like I would like edge myself
Like I'd be super blue ball
I just want to like fucking penetrate. I'm sitting there vibrating her instead of my dick and do the same thing
Well your dick cannot vibrate like that your dick does the same thing you should talk doctor
I mean I could like stick it in and like fucking blow on her clay like with some gum in my mouth like or some shit
So like I can do some crazy shit, I suppose.
What's weird to me in this situation I don't face
is how you use the same sex toys
from girl to girl to girl.
You whip it out and just be like,
oh, here's my arsenal of tools
that everybody seems to like.
If you do have an arsenal of tools,
you certainly wouldn't want to come out like a torturer
and start opening your folds and all your things.
Well, when I open the closet, it's all hung on the doors.
I imagine that I only have the one thing, the Hitachi thing.
Kyle, do you have just an array?
He's a sex man.
I have an array of sex toys.
I have maybe $1,000 worth.
I don't know.
I have a lot of them.
Sadly, that's like nine toys.
I'm goofing.
You're not far off.
It's like 15 or 20. I have an absolute
array of them. I got a special chest
they all go in. I've got all of the kinds.
You can't mention a kind I don't have.
I have them all.
And it's all for one girl?
No.
He can't spend a1,000 a girl.
When you were a kid and you made a Lego set.
Like each girl that comes over has her own.
All right, here's the Jane box and here's the Sarah box.
Like, no, you wash them.
You know, you use special disinfectant on that.
Some of them are dishwasher safe, right?
I just have a big thing.
Think about this.
Barbicide. How many times have you eaten a
barbicide? That's hilarious.
I think Dom floated that blue liquid.
He just skinned it out.
Shake it and stick it.
Some of them are dishwasher safe.
It's cold.
I always put condoms
on the sex toys.
Even the Hitachi. Even the Hitachi.
With the Hitachi wand, a condom always goes over the thing.
No.
Really?
No way.
You put a condom on the fucking dildo and then you fuck the different girls with it.
Because these girls know that they didn't buy it.
I mean, that's so weird, dude.
If I had a dildo and just knowing that I have shoved this
in like four different girls
it just would be so weird
you know how in World War 2
like every time they killed a Jap
they put another etch on their pistol
I do that with my dildos
each one's got etches on it
you know
he's got a scorecard
you should see his dick. It looks like a wall
from Auschwitz. Oh, it hurts
so much when you carve in there.
Oh, God. Andrew, you're like your giant
pink double dong
dildo or whatever. Purple.
Oh, your nice purple double
dong dildo. Do you have lines
for kids' growth charts? Like Sarah's
personal best.
Erica's personal best.
Yeah, I do have one of those gigantic,
like, it's like a gummy worm.
I think it's like 27 inches, you know,
it's like, you know, it's all bendy and stuff
and purple, it's this giant double-dick
thing.
You could do lots of things.
You could replicate that scene from
what's the fucking movie?
Help me, Chiz. You know the movie i i i bet
i've given you enough information already to for you to for you to know requiem of a dream uh where
you know they go ass to ass for the heroin yeah that's a body double by the way i did my research
um if anyone's out there they don't know what i'm talking about google on porn hub uh requiem uh for on Pornhub. Requiem for a Dream or Requiem of a Dream, whichever. Ass to ass.
Good scene. Good scene.
You could do that.
Get a couple of girls. I have done that before.
I've gotten a couple of girls to do the ass to ass
thing with the giant double dildo.
But what you really want to do is you can
put one end in her vagina and then
bend the other end around like a
U and put the other end up her ass.
Do girls like that?
I need to try that dude like I feel like if I just was about to have sex with my girlfriend
I pulled out a fucking giant dildo like I just feel like she would laugh at me or something
I feel like she won't laugh for long
Show but anymore she's laughing just that oh you think it's funny
Yeah, I'm going to attach this.
I have one that attaches to a sawzall.
What's a sawzall?
A reciprocating saw.
You hold it like a gun and pull the trigger
and it goes da-da-da-da.
Yeah, like what carpenters use.
I have a dildo that'll attach onto one of those.
And it's got, where your thumb goes,
there's a speed control that goes from
1 to 10. 1 is like wah-wah-wah-wah-wah. those and it's got on where your thumb goes there's a speed control that goes from one to ten
one is like wah wah wah wah wah ten goes so fast that it'll it'll shake the dildo off the dildo
does does a thing like this when you put it on ten where it's just flipping in the air and it's a blur
of cock it's uh here i'll find it oh this is this is where you're losing the sex toy thing I can even understand
Obviously the the vibrator thing and maybe the double dong that's a little silly
But this this is just taking you out of the picture completely you have to have two hands to operate your penis gun
Then your dick isn't even doing the work
I don't I don't see the point of this one this one 100% calls like an aneurysm
It's gonna destroy her fucking
pussy did oh this thing is like a fucking sack saw you got damn right
power tool this you would fuck her like that would be hardcore I don't know if I
would want to have sex with her afterwards you just be fucking destroyed
like a big thing here you go yeah this is first all, it takes any size dildo you might have because it's all vacuum lock.
I only use
vacuum lock toys, boys and girls.
Vacuum lock for when you
really want to get the job done. Vacuum lock.
I'm on my roommate's computer right now
not in incognito mode. He's going to come back
and be like, what the fuck were you looking at?
Yeah.
But yeah, I enjoy using sex toys.
You don't introduce this on
night number one or week
number one, but you know, when you've
been seeing a girl for months or known her
for a year or two or whatever, you're like, hey,
you broach the subject,
however you do. I'm
pretty out there and open about things.
Hey, would you like me to use sex toys in this
thing? Would you like me to go fill the
builder on your pussy right now? Because I can.
Do you guys introduce
the
lube? I mean, I've
pulled out flavored lube
before. It's probably the only sex toy
type shit I've pulled out. I don't understand.
I've never used flavored
lube, I don't think.
When the girl sucks your dick
I'll pull it out like the first second
time I meet her I'm just like here try this shit
it makes it better
and she'll like suck my dick like actually like
enjoy sucking my dick
I feel like that's pretty like
normal but if I pull out like a fucking
hacksaw dildo she would just
be afraid like I'm gonna rape her with that
there's a chasm of difference
between flavored lube for getting
head and this
sex toy from a...
What is that? The official lubricant
of Painkiller already, wet.
I couldn't read it
because the words are weird. Isn't this the one that we're all on the same
page with? Yes.
This is...
Absolutely, yes. this was on the
nightstand this stays there all the time it's fifty dollars a bottle it's no joke for uh for
what is this uh this is actually the nine ounce bottle i think this is like 20 something dollars
or something but i i often get the bottle that comes with the pump because if you buy in bulk
it's it's a little bit cheaper but it's a $50 bottle of lube, and I go through that thing in like three months or something like that.
Wet Platinum sent us like a case of this shit.
At one point, I remember we had a show like two years ago, maybe more, where I poured it on my hardwood floor and danced around in the lube, sliding.
It is the finest lubricant known to mankind.
NASA needs to look into this shit.
It's almost too good, right?
It's almost too good.
So here's the deal. If you use
like a
Astro Lube or a... What's the
super popular? KY, right?
KY is trash.
It stops being lube after
a couple of minutes.
It goes on. It's wonderful for whatever.
I don't know. Do you remember Gak
that you'd see on Nickelodeon?
Where you'd throw it and it gets all...
That's what KY becomes.
KY is horrible.
It stops being really a lubricant
after a little while. You could steal an envelope with KY.
Now the thing
with wet platinum is almost
too good on the other side.
You have sex sex it doesn't
matter how long it's still lubey and then when you're done having sex you're kind of lubey for
the rest of the day you can take a shower with soap and make an effort i i need to figure out
what the solvent is for wet platinum they're gonna be in there with like mineral spirits or paint
thinner is it dawn it probably it going to go hardcore have
you have you you've gotten it where you
know you have sex you have all the lube
on the button platinum on your dick you
wash off you go take a shower and then
like you enjoy the rest of your evening
and then the next morning when you get
in the shower again you'll go to start
washing your dick and you're like what
yes so much more than just snuck into
the shower I guess like has it on it
like yes shower it almost slipped on the skin, I guess. The shower floor has it on it. After I shower it off, it's on the shower floor.
And I have a tile shower thing going on.
I have busted my ass so many times in the fucking shower.
And when you bust your ass on tile, it's like concrete.
You just kind of sit there in pain and hope that you didn't grate any of your ass cheek off in there.
But you didn't because it was covered in wet platinum, the ultimate fucking lube.
Wet platinum is like motor oil.
It's good for 15,000 miles.
And when you try to wipe that shit off,
it's on your dick, it's on your
shower stall floor, it's everywhere.
You guys must be using a lot
of fucking lube. I use a lot of
lube. My girlfriend would be sleeping,
and I'd wake up and have a boner
and be like, oh, we're going to have a little morning sex, a little surprise morning sex.
I'll just apply some of the wet platinum and then just huzzah, and I'm in.
I'm in.
There's no need to be careful because I've got wet platinum on.
And there could be no tearing or getting hung up on a lip or something like that.
You're right in.
You're right in.
Get right in there.
You ever having sex and she has to take a moment to fix a lip? Like, oh, hang're right in. You're right in. Get right in there. You ever having sex
and she has to take a moment
to like fix a lip?
Like, oh, hang on.
It's kind of doing a thing.
Like I got to fix.
No, you don't.
That's not required wet platinum.
Everything's all lubricated up.
All the lips and the labias
and the buttholes
and the cock and ball.
Everything is just
a well-oiled fucking machine.
The way God intended.
What's funny.
The way God intended. Not like this... Yeah, the way God intended,
not like this Latina enjoying
a Sawzall.
Because this is grotesque.
On Pornhub.com,
you want to look for
Latina enjoys
Sawzall fucking.
Sawzall is S-A-W-Z-A-L-L.
One word.
I would stop totally on your side for the lube
and for the Hitachi thing.
But this is weird.
Like, this is...
Is it?
Look, whether you think it's weird or not,
I don't care.
I haven't even opened up about my scarier sex toys.
I've got some shit.
How could it possibly get worse?
The sex swing is not weird at all. That makes total sense.
Yeah, I also have a
sex swing, which looks like a trap.
It's enormous.
Could you link us to a picture of a sex
swing? I'll just find a video of a
sex swing. That's always... Just go into your
phone.
I feel like it'd just be easier
to stick your penis inside of her it
absolutely is well but the sex swing makes it easier to get your penis inside
her at different more fun angles it lets her know she's dealing with an expert or
a deviant oh it's both it's both I am a deviant expert dude where the fuck do
you set this up it's like like a big, huge device.
I have a big house.
It's in the basement.
Really?
Mine's in the dining room.
You bring her to your fucking
sex toy basement.
That's fucking...
When I say basement, it's not like
a scary Hannibal Lecter basement.
It's all finished. There's bedrooms down
there. There's carpet and stuff.
It's not scary at all. This is actually a hot video.
I'll watch this. This seems
like you tie her up,
hang her on this fucking thing.
That's what it is. You get her legs in the stirrups.
You truss her up like a deer
you're gutting, and then you go to work.
This is way too much work. I just like getting my nut off I don't what the hell
is all this shit no this is a great idea I want to get one of these how old are
you ice 23 yeah I got eight years of fucking on you heavy hard dirty I guess
I mean I guess over time it just gets old, so you gotta do
really shit like this to make it interesting.
Yeah, I've done all kinds
of awful things. I've just,
you know, just
all kinds of dirty things.
After a while, you know, you gotta add some
theatrics to the mix.
That's why I got my
pyrotechnics license.
Is it like when you you go and then Kyle,
do you ever circle back around where like,
you'll watch something like ridiculous in porn,
like,
you know,
that 60 people gang bang or whatever,
or something just,
just bananas.
And then you'll get so stale of just trying to find more ridiculous shit.
That's amping it up.
Yeah.
You eventually circle back around to like two young amateurs just having regular sex up, that you eventually circle back around to, like,
two young amateurs just having regular sex.
And you're like, yeah, it's like... Come full circle.
Yeah, and then you start a path to deviancy again.
Yeah, I absolutely have.
I absolutely have.
Chiz wrote in there a quote that a girl texted me a while back
that I was talking to.
She literally said, you can do illegal things to me.
And I was like, what?
Like, watch an illegal immigrant fuck you?
Like, what are you talking about right now?
Like, what kind of illegal sex are we talking about?
Because I don't want any part of that.
Did she want you to play rape you?
Or play rape her?
In Georgia, it's probably sodomy.
Yeah, right?
No, I don't think we have any sodomy laws here.
That sounds like some Alabama shit.
Or maybe some North Carolina shit.
You gotta watch which bathroom you go into up there.
You Jim Crow gun laws and such.
Besides the sex toy stuff,
you guys have done some pretty weird shit.
It fucking sounds like with sex.
You like the play rape shit.
Like, okay, I'll play rape with some girls.
I've never done that before, but if she would want to i'd fucking do it but i don't think i've done
anything actually weird i'm a lazy guy when it comes to fucking i just want to get it done with
oh i definitely disagree with uh just wanting to get it done it's fun to enjoy it but like uh
the play rape thing i agree with you like i would never want to do it, but if a girl wanted to, and that was her fantasy,
then it would feel weird.
When you say things
that I just know are probably factually
inaccurate.
When you say that, you just know.
Your intuition's off on this one, buddy.
Sodomy's illegal in Georgia,
including oral.
I'm like, no.
Oral's illegal in Georgia.
In 13 states.
I think Taylor would enjoy some rape play.
You've got that look about you.
Break out the Halloween costume.
With the fucking jumpsuit, the inmate thing.
You know what? I'm already halfway there with that.
Get the inmate costume on.
Okay.
Maybe some outdoor sex.
Some risky sex in the park or in
a car oh i'm totally fine down i i i picked up a girl at the airport one time and we we
couldn't make it home i'm two hours in the airport so we just park in the park and i'm
fucking her in the back seat uh but i was in that 2002 fucking uh truck and so it's got this
bullshit bitch seat back there and which is just just so awkward that you couldn't even do a full stroke.
And I think somebody reported us because it wasn't a cop, but it was park police with lights flashing.
But the way the park was set up, they had to go this long loop-de-loop road to get to us.
And I'm like, ah, shit, fucking pulling my pants up.
And she didn't even have time to get out of the backseat before I'm speeding away
She's in the back naked that same chick. I fucked with a handgun. She was crazy
I know this chick you put a gun in her pussy. Yeah, you keep you keep you keep mum on that one, mr
Woody, but yeah, I put it but she wanted me to put a gun in her pussy though. It was unloaded in God
No, it was unloaded and everything. Well, thank God.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Like the barrel of the gun.
Whether she liked it or not.
Yeah, like a Glock.
Like a Glock.
It's not even a gun that's conducive to this.
Didn't it hurt?
Yeah, a little bit of skin came off on the sight.
Right.
Why did she?
What a maniac.
Hey, fuck it.
That's actually, that's funny.
I feel like if out of courtesy, you should use used an LCP or something with a rounded sight.
I put the whole thing up there.
How did that begin, Kyle?
Was she just like, yeah, put your gun in there.
And then you were like, well, let's be real for a second.
Honestly, I seriously doubt that it was her idea.
I'm fairly sure.
I don't remember. This has has been six seven years ago or
something but i i seem to remember us driving and you know i got my clock there and i'm just like
ah maybe i'll stick this glock in your pussy and she's like ah all right and i'm just like like
while we're driving and you know i unloaded it and everything of course you know of course you
don't want to be safety first dangerously um you know i had to
put the safety on i thought you said it was a clock i told her i did you know and click
he makes it with his mouth yeah yeah that's man that's's... The fact that it's your idea and you said the whole piece of skin came off.
Yeah, just a little skin was on the back of the site
from pulling it out
because the site hooked some in the vagina.
I wonder if having a vaginal tear
is kind of like biting the inside of your mouth
and the way that it heals.
It probably is.
You just get some UriGel and then... Yes! You nailed it. A little numbing it heals. It probably is. You just get some gel and then just put it in.
You nailed it. A little numbing lubricant.
Yeah, yeah. Now that's something you want to keep
in your tool chest as well. A little bit of numbing
lubricant. Pro tip for kids.
How this conversation went from
sex toys to guns inside
her pussy. Potato
potato. Yeah, I know. It sounds
like a natural evolution to me.
Welcome to painkillery. And then there was the girl that I fucked with the glow sticks. And it's funny. She texted me potato yeah i know it sounds like a natural evolution to me welcome to pig killer that i
fucked with the glow sticks and it's funny like like she texted me the other day and she's like
like some kids party or something and she like sent me a picture like some glow sticks that
they were playing with she's like this brings back memories that seems toxic if the glow stick
broke inside of her she might actually get like radiation poisoning or something these were
nah i think she probably just turned like have a green vagina. I think you should test and see if it's luby.
It's not actually radioactive.
These were like big glow sticks
too. They're literally
the size, I don't know,
like dick size.
But like 18 inches long.
So you snap them and shake them up
and then
silently get down with them.
I had Good times.
I've never seen a glow stick that didn't have hard edges at the tips.
Yeah, this is something you may have not seen before.
I mentioned it before, but at a tactical show that was for SWAT teams,
everybody that was there was a member of a SWAT team.
Many SWAT teams from all over the world had come there to compete against each other at SWAT shit.
And so there was all these booths filled with special forces gear
that they're marketing towards SWAT teams.
So the people from Brazil are there, and they're like,
oh, yeah, we like these sights you have.
And one guy was just all about glow sticks.
He had all these glow sticks that he was selling.
I'm glad you got good use out of your glow sticks.
I bet everyone else who got a glow stick that day
just threw it in the grass
or their kids wore it on Halloween.
Nothing like Kyle.
I fucked a sexy redhead with mine.
Nice, redhead.
Oh, yeah.
Redheads are not meant to be half-sexing with.
Just saying.
Why did you say it in that way?
Not meant to be having sexing with
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They get you a boner?
They get you fucking hard?
Get you harder than normal and harder
easily. More easily than normal
sometimes i have like issues getting hard so not issues getting hard issues staying hard for long
periods of time yeah but i need to seriously like like i i have a prescription for cialis
among other things i've got i got an adderall prescription too and i take them both for the
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if it's go time,
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Adderall and I'm the best version of me.
Serious pussy to slay.
You gotta be taking...
Adderall does not help with
having sex at all.
It definitely makes it hard to get hard. That sex at all. No, no. It definitely gets hard.
Yeah.
That's an issue.
Yeah, that's true.
That's true.
Especially if you're snorting it, I'm told.
Well, I mean...
By the way, anybody who's listening,
that's not the issue why I have a problem staying hard.
I just get fucking bored of sex
after about 20 minutes if I don't cum.
So I think...
The reason why I like to get sex done and over with.
That's why you gotta add some
theatrics to the mix.
Some pyrotechnics
is what he suggested, maybe. Maybe not.
Some electronics, for sure.
But, you know, the deal with electronics,
just to complete the
picture in your mind's eye, is maybe
you're doing some sort of doggy-style maneuver
and you reach under with the vibrator onto her clitoris.
And that's super, super go time, right?
Or maybe her legs are up on here.
That doesn't really make you excited, though.
It just excites the girl.
That makes me excited.
And here's another thing.
If you have a powerful enough vibrator i so
there are plenty of positions i don't have a i don't have my marker board with me that you can
get into so that you can fuck her and you can apply the hatachi wand to her to her clit and
it makes her vagina vibrate so you can feel the vagina vibrating with your cock and and that's you know you you're
verging on branding territory yeah yes i've heard there is a attachment for hitachi magic wand for
guys and according to a redditor and if you can't trust that then you know what kind of world do we
live in he says that it's very powerful and that he's like you know like i've jerked off before
and it's kind of like you're coaxing the orgasm out of you, right?
He says, but with this thing, it is almost forcefully removing the orgasm from you without consent.
And that it is a next level orgasm removal creation tool.
I have a couple of attachments for the Hitachi.
One, a couple of them are for ladies.
They're like insertable hook things.
Hook sounds scary.
It's more of like a G-spot.
More like a claw.
It's more like a G-spot thing.
It's shaped like, you know, like imagine my wrist is the head of the wand.
And the other thing is shaped like my hand is shaped right now.
So it kind of goes into the vagina and like vibrates the G-spot with the power of the Hitachi.
But the thing
you're talking about i've seen that and i may or may not own one it's uh on the end it's kind of
like um you know remember those things you used to get out of a vending machine and you'd like
flick them and they'd stick to something yes it's like that kind of stretchy material but it's it's
like a ring of that that your cock goes into and And you can stroke it back and forth on your cock while going into Hitachi vibration mode on your cock.
And very cool sex toy.
I don't really – I have all the male sex toys, right?
Like I've got – we got sponsored somewhat by this company called Autoblow one time.
Oh, I have one of those, actually.
Yeah, me too.
My bro, yeah.
I lost the charging cable of mine
and threw it away.
Just a powerful orgasm.
I don't like
those type of things, though,
because they break really easy, for one.
And two,
when you're coming, it's not very... It's like a robot, so they don't accurately make themselves go slower or make it feel better.
It's just too much, you know?
I feel like I'm better with what Wings always say.
I get the best hand jobs
in South Carolina. Yeah.
Absolutely. I feel like
if I've got a good
grip on the situation... You get that perfect
sensory feedback loop.
Yeah.
Actually,
in the future
when they have sex robots, I'll probably never
ever get a girlfriend in my life
Just oh you get a boyfriend. I think
Carl my sex
Bots are getting so real-looking
It's eerie adding clothes like they used to look very mannequin II
But now like they still don't look like a real woman
because of the proportions and everything.
You'll see
Newsweek will post an article that'll
just have some dude sitting there with his
sex robot. It's like, how
did this guy possibly afford? Actually,
I know how that guy afforded it. A lifetime
of not spending money on women. There you go.
There's a good movie called Lars
and the Real Girl.
And it's got the guy from Drive.
What's the really good looking blonde guy
from Drive?
Ryan Gosling. Ryan Gosling plays
kind of this autistic, nerdy
guy who lives in
a guest house.
I don't
remember who lives in the big house.
But he lives out back. And a crate shows up one day and they're all like, what's in the big house but uh he lives out back and a crate
shows up one day and they're all like what's in the crate that's kind of weird and the next thing
you know he's dressed up the sex doll and he's calling her by name and saying it's his girlfriend
and taking her everywhere with him like like to restaurants and shit and it's uh it's really
fucking bizarre but and it's kind of a sweet comedy kind of thing. Like, it's not
nasty and raunchy.
It's more like sad
and funny at the same time.
Lars and the Real Girl, I liked it.
Huh.
I didn't know that's what that movie was about.
I want the fucking doll to cry, though. Am I the only one there?
Yeah.
I'm sure you can make a setting for that.
It would make it like a lot
hotter like i feel like the sex i don't know i i'm really fucking weird when i have sex i like to
be fucking intense like to put my mouth over like my hand over her mouth like i like to do that
shit so i would agree on the crime robot yeah yeah i i like the i don't want the robot to want it
I don't want the robot to want it.
I want it.
I want the robot.
Rape is cool and everything,
but especially I want a robot.
I want it to be Japanese, too.
I want it to be,
please send me back to Toyota.
I want a Toyota sex bot, by the way.
That's what you want your robot to sound like?
Oh, give it to me, Kair.
Oh, I love it.
No, the opposite of that. Begging me to stop. Oh, please, Kair! Oh, I love it! Oh! No, the opposite of that. Begging me to stop and send back... Oh, please, Kair!
I should have been at
Camry. You're ruining
my wiring.
Wearing it out with my crazy
saws off. Oh, remember to put
my pussy in the dishwasher after this
or either with the greatest silicone, if not...
Yeah, now that is one of the concerns with wet platinum is if you
use the wrong kind of condoms it will degrade
them so keep that in mind
gentlemen
and ladies you know if a guy
if a guy whips out some wet platinum
Chiz had to go make a phone
call he's like oh shit
oh shit
a little degraded condom
and like with enough use
and I've gotten there before
the condom will come completely
apart
what kind of condom will it just destroy
latex condoms
that's why I've got
are these non-latex?
Destroyed latex condoms?
Oh, shit.
Oh, shit. These are latex.
Alright.
This is a lesson that we all needed to relearn.
If the entire condom's falling apart, then I'd be worried.
I would think he's going back.
Yeah, no clue. I hope so.
Don't know what happened to him.
I'm sure he...
He changes the layout.
I'll just fix it.
Fix it.
It's bad.
But, uh...
We've been going strong here for three and a half hours.
I have never sat down at a computer
and talked on a Skype call for three and a half hours before.
This is intense.
You were married.
It's just very...
It's actually hard.
Yeah, right?
Once you get three and a half hours into talking,
it's like, man, all right.
What else?
I was going to ask,
we know about all the
troubles that have come from your audience calling restaurants and shit like that.
That was super annoying.
I watched one the other day where you're having dinner with Caroline at that place.
You ordered macaroni and cheese, the most autistic thing I'd ever seen.
I don't like being an adult.
I'm still like a kid on the inside.
That's 12 years old over here.
I ordered mac and cheese at a nice restaurant.
Whatever, do your thing. That's what makes you interesting I like it but
they're calling and fucking shit up
for you that was super lame
but have you ever harnessed that
power and used it
for good like had them call a place
to impress upon that place like your
power as an influencer
never to a business because most businesses want to just take real phone calls so they can make money to impress upon that place, like your power as an influencer.
Never to a business, because most businesses want to just take real phone calls so they can make money.
I have used the live stream to help me get women.
Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. When people say on their social media that they want to fuck them,
or Ice wants to fuck you and the asshole or something, that doesn't help me.
But if I meet a girl and she gives her instagram or something out like yeah i've been i've gotten
laid from the stream before and that's really positive and that's awesome i um i i used to
like tweet out uh and facebook out i've got a pretty big facebook it's like i don't know close
to two million people or something and and so Facebook or tweet out the phone number of a business
for various reasons. Sometimes
an employee was rude to me.
Legitimately rude. Can't they sue you
for that? I don't fucking know.
Did you tweet out something and did they
get harassed? I've had to deal
with that shit. I've never cared.
What I would do is
I'd tweet out, like, Sonny's BBQ. The chick
was a cunt to me. She just was.
She was.
So I was like, eh, here's the fucking number to Sonny's.
Call and ask for April.
And just hordes of people calling and asking for April.
And we watched the phone ring off the hook.
And they're ringing so fast that when the phone hangs up, another call comes in.
Like you could answer the phone and there'd be a person on the line.
Hang it up and pull again and there'd be a completely different person already on the line.
They're coming in so fast.
You could do it like that.
But the funniest, we were in Louisville, Kentucky, and my friends were going at the strip club.
I'm staying in the hotel.
I had a girl coming to me.
I'm not a huge fan of strip clubs, but my friend calls me from the strip club.
He's like, Hey, put it out that, uh, that you're at this strip club, like whatever the place was, the donkey show or whatever the fuck this place is called.
And I'm like, all right, tweet out like, Hey, I'm, uh, I met show girls or whatever in Louisville,
you know, come on down.
We'll have some fun if you're in the area.
So the phone at show girl starts blowing the fuck up.
People asking for me just constantly, continuously ringing.
And someone, they're like having an, it's a whole commotion at the strip club.
And my friend's like, oh, phone's ringing?
Are they asking for Russia?
And they're like, yeah, yeah, they are.
He's like, ah, shit.
It must have gotten out that he was
going to be here tonight. We're his friends.
He's kind of a big deal.
They must have gotten out where we're going
to be. This always happens. So they think
that he's like, wow.
Kid Rock was in here once and this didn't even
happen.
So they're giving my friends free drinks
and stuff.
Everything's on the house and stuff.
I'm like, well, shit.
I'm coming back tomorrow night if it's that kind of treatment.
Go back the next night.
Same thing.
Just tweet out, I'm here.
Phone's blowing up.
They know I'm here.
All the strippers are like, you're the guy.
I'm like, I'm the guy.
I'm the guy! It's me!
I've never experienced
a business being positive in that kind
of way before. I'm going to have to try that, like a strip
club or something, because that sounds fucking awesome.
I think maybe
I might have gotten a free drink
from McDonald's, and that's pretty much it.
You know those refills are free for
everybody.
Granted, the people calling you, I guess You know those refills are free for everybody. I mean, granted,
the people calling you, I guess they were
asking for you. I feel like people,
if it's on a live stream, people are going to call
and they're going to say a little bit more fucked up
shit. Yeah.
My fans are usually nice
people.
Oh, they're nice. They just want to
see me get hurt every once in a while. It's fine.
Yeah. Oh, speaking of that, I saw the backyard boxing thing.
That was fucking cool.
I don't know.
It was long as fuck.
I don't know if I watched it all.
Did you ever get in there and box?
I thought you would.
I did box a little bit for like 30 seconds, and I was out of breath, and I stopped.
You're in pretty good shape, too.
I didn't know what you looked like, and you took your shirt off at one stopped. You're in pretty good shape too. I didn't know what you looked like and you took your shirt off
at one point. You're all messed up, eh?
I mean, I used to work out
before I cut my thumb off, so I guess I have a little
bit of muscle base, but I'm just skinny and I don't...
I have no stamina whatsoever.
It's exhausting. A lot of
people think that they can fight, but
you get in there and in one minute you'll
be breathing so hard. You're exhausted.
It's so hard.
Yeah, but... How'd you cut your thumb off? You get in there, and in one minute, you'll be breathing so hard. You're exhausted. It's so hard. Yeah.
How'd you cut your thumb off?
When I used to be a cook, I accidentally sliced.
I was chopping bacon.
My thumb was in the way.
I just chopped it off.
The funny part is I didn't even know my thumb was chopped off.
It was so gushing with blood.
I thought it was just like a little tiny cut, so I put a little Band-Aid over it.
I went back to work. Lost my thumb somewhere in the the bacon but i just didn't want to tell my fucking boss because i don't want to get like trouble so i just kind of
like played it off as nothing happened somebody probably ate my fucking thumb somewhere that is
horrific yeah probably i mean i don't know and then i it was still bleeding for like 30 minutes
out of the fucking bandaid.
And I have like adrenaline going through me to do my job.
So I didn't even really feel it.
And, uh, I eventually have to tell my boss, I'm like, yo, look at this.
It's not stopping.
And we took the bandaid off and my bone was sticking out of my thumb.
And I was like, oh, okay, let's go to the hospital then.
Fuck.
My God.
That is, your bone was sticking out?
Yeah.
Like, I can't tell. Is it like, did it grow back at back at all or oh no You really chopped off the tip of your thumb. Yeah, it's uh, they just pulled the skin up
It's to make it look pretty good. But I'm missing like half my thumb
Give your nail him. Oh, yeah. I mean I cut through my nail like somewhere like over here
So, I mean this part grew backs. I didn't cut down here, but I cut, like,
half of this part off.
So, like, does that actually affect you now,
or is it just, you don't even notice anymore?
No, after, like, two months, I couldn't
really move my thumb, but after about two months,
I started to be able to move it again,
and it was fine. I just, I cut right through the bone
and the nerve and everything. It was pretty bad.
It's a good knife, though.
Yeah, I mean mean a kitchen knife
chef knife really fucking sharp so um i'm surprised i didn't feel it at first was it
your knife or the restaurant's knife it was the restaurant's knife sounds like a great knife that's
all it does sound like a good knife i can't believe someone just cooked up your thumb
i guess you cooked it up you're're the cook. We just don't know
where the thumb went. We were looking for it.
We know where it went.
It went to table seven.
I didn't want to tell anyone that,
but I was just looking for it.
I don't know where my thumb is, boss, because we were looking for it
because he said, I need to take it with me.
I don't know. We just like, fuck it.
I didn't work at Chili's.
I worked at an Italian restaurant.
Yeah, because I think a Chili's got in trouble
for serving a thumb once.
Nobody knew about this thumb, thank God.
I bet you get paid.
If they had found your chunk of thumb,
they could have sued.
I'd love to find a piece of a human
in my food.
I mean, yeah.
I would honestly as well too. They'd probably in my food. I mean, yeah. I would honestly as well, too.
They'd probably sue the restaurant. I wouldn't really give a fuck.
Yeah, you'd be all clear.
You wouldn't make anything suing a small, single-location
Italian restaurant. In that case, you'd
want it to be a chili's.
All the meatballs you can eat.
Yeah.
So Ice, you've been exploding lately, right?
In terms of popularity and stream growth and stuff?
Yeah. So my YouTube channel definitely has gained a lot of popularity um with live stuff
it is definitely um it's like up and down type thing it depends on what you do so i went to
europe like four months ago and you know the channel was just kind of stagnate with like uh live viewers or whatever just
whatever and then you do one big event or something and it's just like booms again that's
the weird thing with youtube because like on twitch it's different on twitch you don't really
stagnate you just do the same fucking shit over and over and you just grow since you're already
like always on the top on twitch with live viewers but with youtube since
they have like a weird algorithm it's like you do something and then you get you you kind of ride
that train what you did and then you have to do something else and you have to ride that train as
well it's a weirder space than twitch it's a lot harder youtube's fucking hard as shit oh so maybe
you do regret the twitch ban. Not that you really...
I make more money.
I don't really regret it.
It is my fault because
I should have been more...
I should have been so careless.
I just didn't think somebody was actually going to
fucking SWAT the airport.
It's ridiculous.
You know what I mean?
Where did you go in Europe?
He froze.
I'm glad Kyle moved.
There he is. He's back.
Where did you go in Europe?
I went to
Amsterdam, England,
Exactly what I was about to suggest.
Italy and Spain.
Yeah, Amsterdam is a great place everywhere else sucked balls
but Amsterdam was the best fucking place
everywhere else sucked Spain Italy
sucked
I didn't like Italy or Spain
or anything I mean Spain was beautiful I like Spain
but Italy was just boring it was like
nothing to do you just go and look at fucking old
buildings not really my cup of tea
and then England i just hated because
i mean it's just like a shittier version of the u.s so you went to rome and said it was boring
and there was nothing there well i went to milan and um what's the place that starts with an f
i don't remember but i went to milan it's similar to uh r Rome I suppose it's just looking at old buildings
it's just fucking boring I always wanted to go to Italy I thought it'd be some crazy shit
oh Florence Florence yeah but they were just boring uh like I don't know not really I uh
I really want to go to Amsterdam kind of for the same reason I I want to do some sort of a stream
or something with whores I I I'm really they're really you're really really stuck on this idea like glue i was live
streaming out on the red light district and i had a fucking pimp woman come up to me and slap my
camera off my shit onto the floor saying you cannot record here it's illegal and i was like
you're fucking lying you guys are whores i can do whatever the fuck i want uh because it's not
illegal she was just lying to me and she slapped my shit i was pissed yeah see i don't want to like film them for free i want to hire a bunch of them and get them back
to my place and then do things like like i i've said i've said it on the show before but like you
know they do that thing where you like eat food off of a japanese woman who's naked like do that
sushi thing i want to get a big fat hooker and cover and fry chicken and eat the fried chicken off of
her right like like i i think that's fucking hilarious um i i i want to do things like that
but i want to hire them i want i want them to get paid and be i don't want them to be unhappy with
the situation i want them to understand that you know they need to be a little unhappy with the
situation what if we did this what if we hired one female prostitute and a male prostitute, and we tell the female prostitute that it really turns me on when I act like you hired me to fuck you?
And so don't talk about being a prostitute at all. And so then it would just be a very uncomfortable thing, and we see how that pans out.
I don't speak Dutch, you know?
No, it all has to be in English.
So you would get two prostitutes to, like, fuck each other?
Yeah, but they wouldn't know about it.
They would each think the other is,
like, the John,
and tell them both that they were role-playing
or whatever, and just have them going
back and forth. Basically, like,
this prank phone call thing I did
one time where, on three-way,
I called two 7-Elevens simultaneously
and just shut the fuck up.
And the one guy goes, 7-Eleven.
And the other guy's like, 7-Eleven.
Yeah.
He's like, what do you want?
What do you want? And they keep going back and forth.
He's like, no, this is 7-Eleven.
I know. I know it is 7-Eleven.
What do you...
And you just let them go.
And, you know,
those guys from... Yeah, just that with prostitutes.
That with prostitutes.
That's a fucking great idea.
I don't know if that would actually pan out correctly.
I feel like they would both want their
money or something. It would, one, be like...
Like, I don't... It would just be
a very interesting scenario.
Which would end up with you being punched
in the face by a pimp.
Perhaps. I don't want to deal with any pimps.
That worries me
a little bit. You wouldn't deal with a pimp in Amsterdam, would you?
How are there pimps in Amsterdam?
That's because it's a real establishment, right?
It just has a manager.
The manager is a pimp.
Amsterdam was fucking sketchy when I went there,
man. With the whores and stuff,
I don't know, man.
People there are weird.
They just...
Everything is, like, legal, but they're still, like...
Everyone's an asshole, and they will, like, beat you up if you fuck with them.
Huh.
And so...
But you liked that more than Rome?
Oh, yeah.
I mean, Amsterdam was great because it was a beautiful city for one and for two.
Any time of the day i could
just walk down the street people will just come up to me and give me molly yeah i mean i didn't
take any of the molly because i don't fucking trust their shit but they were just straight up
just walk up and just like here it's fucking oh molly oh hey you want some coke too i'm like no
but it's like here i can give you some coke i'm like like, no. Amsterdam is just a place you go to do fucking drugs.
Man, I didn't think there would be Molly salesmen just
walking about.
They just give you free drugs.
You just walk down the street.
It's like, here.
It's like, oh, okay.
It's like in the grocery store where they hand out cheese samples.
In Rome,
it's just a bunch of people trying to scam you.
A bunch of immigrants
that come from other countries all over the world,
they just fucking scam you.
That's literally what Italy is in the touristy parts.
You mean...
Oh, go ahead, Kyle.
I was just going to say, I want to go to Amsterdam.
I want to go to Japan.
I want to go to Canada.
I want to go to the UK.
Okay.
Yeah, I know some people there.
It'd be cool to go to the UK. Yeah, the UK and Japan would be the two I'd want to go to the UK. Yeah, I know some people there. It'd be cool to go to the UK.
Yeah, the UK and Japan would be the two I'd want to go to.
Because the UK seems really, really different,
but still similar enough that you could make your way around
and figure shit out.
Yeah.
Whereas, like, Japan,
do most people in Japan speak English or no?
I don't fucking know.
No, I don't think so.
Here's the thing about Japan, though.
More people there speak English than people here speak Japanese.
I feel like there's so much, I don't think so. More people there speak English than people here speak Japanese.
I feel like there's so much pussy to be had in Japan.
Because, like, I have this idea, like, I have said this shit before, but I have this idea that, like, a six-foot-two white man would be heavily desired over there.
In this land of short people who all look the same to to be honest you
know they all look the same was there and you know they have that whole thing where like this
whole generation of japanese men stay indoors with like uh you know their waifu or whatever
like like digit like jerking off to uh to animated women and stuff and like you know they they don't
really date and stuff how much of that is really true and how much of it is like...
I think a lot there's like major news articles about that shit it's true see
Chiz is backing me up.
They'd rather jack off the fucking anime shit than real women?
Yeah yeah like there's there's a whole issue with the culture where they're having to re-educate young people about like how to date and how to like deal with the opposite sex because their population rate because their birth rates are dropping so dramatically.
So the government's helping them get laid.
Yeah, kind of.
Well, then we can go help their birth rate.
I could supplement that. I'm happy to
knock up two or three Japanese ladies
and then...
Yeah, that's really interesting.
This is for World War II.
You could be the Johnny Apples seed of japan right just going
from place to place planting your seed japan has a couple loads of his own over there doesn't japan
have like a low like a low amount of women compared to men so it'd be like a fucking challenge
china you're thinking of yeah that's china because they kill the Because they kill the girl babies.
In Japan, they're just choosing
not to fuck actual girls.
Yeah, yeah.
That doesn't even make any sense.
Why would they want to masturbate to fucking
cartoons over actually
having sex? Do we judge your kinks?
Right?
I mean, yeah.
I mean, fuck them.
I masturbated to some weird shit too, i get it so yeah man i i just
feel like i would be in high demand there i feel like on japanese a tweet of some like i'd just be
fucking slaying like like like any of us would like like like i like like dirty old man woody
could go over there and really just part the Red Sea
of yellow pussy.
You think so?
No, I thought that was funny.
That's why I laughed.
Do you think we should switch our trips
to Japan instead of Vegas?
No.
I think there's a thing about Japanese
whorehouses not taking Americans.
Google that. I think there's a thing about Japanese whorehouses not taking Americans. Google that.
Cool, cool, cool.
This isn't just about
the prostitute thing, though.
I would rather go to a real vacation in Japan
than a prostitute
trip to
Nevada.
No one's interested in your real vacations.
If you're going to vlog it, I really want to see you
at the Bunny Ranch.
There's a ton to do
in Nevada.
Someone said I was wrong about the Grand Canyon being there.
I know that it's not located there.
I know that it's in Arizona, but it connects.
The Grand Canyon is fucking massive.
There's that walkway thing
at the Hoover Dam.
I'm getting my information from Vegas Vacation right now.
I think it's not in Vegas, but I think
it's in Nevada.
For, uh,
prostitutes?
Yeah, pretty much. Like, outside of Vegas,
where it's legal, you know, I want to do
some sort of a live stream kind of
event where we hire,
you know, I don't know, three grand worth
of whores and do weird shit to them.
And then eventually fuck them. You know, like,
that won't be on stream, but it'll happen.
Just do some weird shit.
I'm going to eat fried chicken off of a naked woman on stream
and people will donate to take another piece off.
And part of it will be how much chicken I can eat.
Maybe it's a chicken eating contest, right?
You have to devour each hot wing.
Do hot wings so it's burning.
Oh, yeah.
Very hot wing. Do hot wings so it's like burning. Oh, yeah. Very hot wings.
She's getting super uncomfortable
as the wings are burning her.
And you, young lady,
we're going to eat fajitas off of you.
You probably don't have to go to Nevada
to get prostitutes.
I would be a thousand percent legal, though, right?
Especially since we're going to...
If you're going to vlog it.
Yeah, since we're going to live stream this
and upload it and shit.
Probably put it on Chatterbait, honestly.
I mean, if you're not actually having sex with them,
I don't think it's illegal.
Yeah, but the hiring of the whores would be illegal.
Oh, yeah.
But he says if you don't have sex with them,
then you're really just hiring actresses.
I'm going to have sex with them.
Well, in that case. He says if you don't have sex with them, then you're really just hiring actresses. I'm going to have sex with them.
Well, in that case. Yeah, he really didn't leave a lot of wiggle room there.
Not we, you need to go to them.
I'm not traveling 3,000 miles and putting on a whole goddamn show
and not fucking two or three of these hot whores.
I'm going to get all redheads.
They're not for sexing.
They are all...
I've got to be careful what I say here.
We shouldn't even step into these muddy waters.
Woody's daughter is
a ginger.
I never thought about that.
You didn't get what I was saying?
I didn't even think about it.
I genuinely didn't. I just thought you were
putting on your own, like, oh, I'm not into redheads comment.
I'm very much...
Kyle's a huge fan,
but not of mine. Of course not.
No.
No.
Yeah, right?
Don't want to deal with it.
But yeah, the whores.
The whores. I want to. But yeah, the whores. The whores.
I want to do funny things
to the whores, gross things to the whores,
and then eventually have sex with those
same whores.
You need to make up games to make them compete in.
I think it would be
funny if you took Woody with you.
He just seems like the type of dude
who would just...
It would just be funny as fuck.
Cause,
uh,
I mean,
actually you're married,
aren't you?
That's the challenge.
Yeah.
Hypothetical single Woody,
you know,
would have a blast with this,
I guess.
But,
uh,
but the actual me is,
you know,
devoted to my wife.
Yeah.
And,
and she's devoted to him not going on a whore jousting trip.
I mean,
as long as you don't have sex with any of them, then I'm just like...
I won't cut it.
She knows that Kyle and I are a good influence.
We're one step away from Mike Pence
in the way that we manage our relationship,
which you might not get that reference. He doesn't even have
dinner with other women.
Without his wife around,
you know, alone. Of course, these
days, the way guys...
Nobody's making fun of Mike Pence anymore. Nobody's making fun of Mike Fence anymore.
Nobody's making fun of Mike Fence anymore.
Crazy like a fox!
Of all the people who could have scandals,
he's the last one that I'm suspecting.
Because I think that whole
religion, no dinner
without a chaperone thing is true.
If that works for him,
I don't see a problem with it.
You could twist it into this issue
where it's harder to have
even a business relationship with him if you're a woman
than if you're a man because
he'll only be near you with a chaperone.
But, I don't know.
Flip the script, right?
Your wife is some titan of industry.
She runs an
importing-exporting company. They do latex
and other things.
Is this a Seinfeld reference?
Of course it's a Seinfeld reference.
She needs
to go meet
some gentleman
who's some Italian
gentleman, a notoriously sexually
aggressive race of people
over dinner to discuss importing his Italian latex
into the greater New York metropolitan area.
You wouldn't want her going on this dinner date, basically,
with this Italiano gentleman with all of his latex about,
you know, unescorted.
I honestly would feel, like, not happy about that.
I wouldn't like that.
I think there are people, though, who are like,
that is a ridiculous line of thinking.
If you can't trust her, you can't trust her.
She'll find a way.
Kids will have Dago mustaches and greasy hair.
Dago mustache.
Greasy hair.
Fucking Sean Connery.
I would be afraid of some girls saying some sexual harassment accusations against me.
I don't really get that scared when I'm around girls.
When I'm single, I kind of go around and I actively am pretty openly touchy-feely with girls.
But I don't know.
My friend, Chad, he said he was really afraid about
girls giving him false accusations,
so he would make them sign a
consent form before they
fuck, and I thought that was the stupidest thing ever,
but with all the stuff that's been happening recently,
I guess I kind of get it, but I just
feel like that's fucking weird.
It is weird.
I've got a bit of documentation
myself. My manager has been looking out for me in that regard for the better part of a decade.
You make your girls side.
There have been some girls, not every girl, but she's clearly unstable.
And I like them that way.
I like some crazy women.
I want you to be fucked in the head. One of my favorite aspects of Kyle's dating life is that he honestly does like women a little bit crazy.
I want you to be fucking scary.
I want you to have assault charges.
I want you to be dangerous.
I dated one chick and we meet up in Glinburg tennessee like like i drove up she
drove down we met in the middle i rent this cabin and we're having this nice steak dinner she's
really smoking hot filipina chick um she's like five foot two or something and just just
fucking built she just really muscular body but not in a you wouldn't like it woody it's not that
muscular but she's fit she's fit right and she's just like like It's not that muscular. But she's fit. She's fit, right?
She's got small boobs, but
she's just really nice ass.
This chick, I could get on her back, piggyback style.
Did you say she was Latin?
Filipina.
I would be scared.
I'm just thinking, could she grow a happy trail?
Go on.
No, low T.
We're having dinner and like we we've been that
we meet on on friday and you know we've spent the night together friday night saturday night and now
it's sunday night right the last night of our weekend and we're having this really nice steak
dinner and uh and i'm like hey this has been really fun why don't we just stretch it out in
the week i don't have shit going on like like I'll just call and cancel anything that was going on.
Let's stay until Tuesday or whatever.
She's like, ah, I got to be in court in the morning.
And I'm like, oh?
Traffic court?
Because I hadn't had my Camaro all that long at that time,
and I already racked up a couple of serious speeding tickets.
I was like, traffic court?
She's like no my ex-husband and i got in a little bit of a tussle and i shoved him through a plate glass uh shower door and uh he got awfully cut up oh is she sexier to you at this point
oh are you like baby, tell me more.
I was like, how cut up is he?
He's like, well, 30, I don't remember what it was, 30, 40 stitches or something like that.
The door shattered and it fell on him and it sliced him open in a few places.
And I'm like, huh, did he start it?
Well, he wouldn't shut the fuck up.
I'm like, oh, well, aren't you going to be in some trouble?
She's like, look at me me do you want to go in
there in my polka dot dress i'm gonna look at that judge and say no your honor you know he's he's six
feet tall i'm five foot two look at me and i'm sure enough she goes in just right in and out you
know they won't even listen to his side of the thing. She says that he pushed her and she pushed him back right out of there.
Love that chick.
She should probably be in jail.
Are you the type of guy who likes
when the girl controls you
in every situation? Or in the
bed at least? No, not necessarily.
But I could definitely go
back and forth. I'm okay with her
being dominant occasionally
and getting aggressive and stuff.
But for the most part,
I like to be the one calling the shots.
I get out my
tools.
My tools.
It just depends.
I really mix things up a lot.
Keep things interesting.
Anything and everything.
If that's what she's
into i'm more than happy to for me like what what gets me off and what turns me on is like her
really enjoying herself and whatever uh is required to make that happen i'm i'm 100 up for
you know the only thing i don't think i could do would be like crazy i'm talking about of stuff
that she liked the only thing i don't think I'd be able to do
is like ridiculous dress up
like if she was like you I want you
to dress up as Jesus Christ and
come in here and you know tell me
I'm a sinner or whatever or anoint me
yeah give me an anointing slap
all those like forehead
dick slaps but uh or dress up like
a pirate because like would you be able to resist
just like,
and just being over the
top and silly with it? You wouldn't
be able to. I know your personality well enough, Kyle.
You'd be in there, and you're with a pocket
full of doubloons and a puffy shirt,
and you would be like, I can't
not turn this into a joke, because she's like,
oh, Captain Jack Sparrow.
And you're like, yeah,
we can't kiss because I have
working with the Hitachi
there she blows
I'm going to pee for many a week
for some scurvy pussy
you know
coming there with my eye patch on
and fucking fake parrot on my shoulder
look I could definitely get into it
I could play a part
most girls who would want you to dress up as a pirate wouldn't expect
it to be taken seriously? You wouldn't hope
so. I've never had anyone want me to dress up
as a pirate.
Ever. I don't know where that came from.
I've never dressed up before.
I've never been a cowboy.
Well, I think a big part of that is I don't have any
costumes.
I have so many.
I have so many costumes. You could definitely be a convict now oh shit now that's a that's some
kind of crazy fantasy like yeah one of kyle's girlfriends wants the convict outfit oh yeah i'll
leave that that outfit just tactically placed like in my bedroom it's like oh that that's just
uh that's just worried about that What does that make you think?
Oh, yeah, me too.
Gross.
But you can tell that one by ear.
Yeah, I've never had a girl that wanted me to dress up, I don't think.
Hmm.
How many girls have you had?
I don't like saying it.
I'll tell you privately
but you know it's
a shitload
Kyle doesn't kiss and tell
unless it's on our podcast for
lots of people
I'm awfully
open about everything
but you know
that's just kind of a
probably shouldn't say. Probably more than...
Than some.
Than most.
Yeah.
More than most, I would say.
You know, I've had my share.
My share.
You're not going to get my share.
I'm going to get every part.
I mean, I guess it would have...
Is it more or less than 100?
I'll tell you. Yeah? I'll tell you.
That scares me.
I'm thinking of a number now somewhere like the hundreds, dude.
That fucking scares me.
That's Ron Jeremy stuff.
Nobody.
What's his name?
Who the fuck was saying recently they fucked like 10,000
women that wrestler Ric Flair yeah he said he's fucked like 10,000 women or
something and I was just like trying to do the math and I'm like man that's like
that's like a career like that's those are like you would have can't be
canceling friends plans and family events all the time.
There's a basketball player that said he fucked 20,000.
That's Will Chamberlain.
Was it Will or Kareem?
I had both in my head.
It was Will Chamberlain, and I don't think that's even possible given how many days human beings live.
20,000, dude.
There's no way.
2,100 would be like, well, 2,500 would be like seven years, right?
Something like that.
All right, let's just do some math.
I need to calculate it.
Oh, yeah.
And this is assuming every single day.
A new girl.
2,500 is almost seven years.
20,000.
54 a day. That's seven years. 20,000. 54 a day.
That's 54 years.
Yeah, it's just being silly.
Well, I didn't even think of, you know,
what if he's fucking like seven or 12 at a time, right?
Like.
Well, but it's also assuming that he's only fucking each of these girls once ever.
Right?
That's true, too.
There would definitely be some repeat customers because this whole math doesn't add up unless it's like all
right this girl one time and done and one time and done one time and done yeah
it I don't know you got a one thing that might support his argument is the fact
that he's traveling you know with the team right the same way that musicians
could could really get a lot so like if you're
a musician every show you do if you're traveling um you know there's there's there's dozens
hundreds of hot chicks down there right there who are like waiting to fuck you and you know
you've got a handler who goes out and hand picks the the chicks it's like you and you and you and
you and you and brings all these chicks back to your room and you fuck any of them or all of them that you want and so every night you can have five or six or seven or just
one or none every single night every tour day all around the country and the same thing is true with
basketball players right you know you're you're in a different city every night i mean i wonder
how the girls get the basketball players right because like hypothetically if i wanted to get
a selfie or an autograph with a basketball player i don't even know how i'd get the basketball players, right? Because hypothetically, if I wanted to get a selfie or an autograph
with a basketball player, I don't even
know how I'd get close to them.
Close enough to...
They come out of the stadium.
You're a man. You're not going to get close enough.
Well, a couple of... Nowadays,
it's like social media. You hop on their Instagram
and slide into them DMs
or on Twitter.
They leave the stadium a lot of the times
and you know kind of do like oh yeah like sign two or three autographs and like i mean if you're
hot you just be like yo lebron and he'd be like i'm married and he'd walk away because he's a
nice guy but but maybe he wouldn't maybe maybe he'd be like yeah you and your 14 year old sister
get back over here i want to talk to you about smart investing. It was a while ago, but the NBA gave an alert to NBA wives that it was risky sex to have sex with their own husbands or something like that.
Yeah, that they were like, your men are fucking so many people.
You should know.
I want to look that up.
I remember it got a lot of national attention.
That seems like not right.
That's like, how's the NBA going to tell the wives,
like, hey, don't trust your husband?
That seems kind of fucked up, actually.
Yeah, I would not be happy with the NBA.
Right?
You don't see Bud Sealing ratting on people like that.
That's some horse shit.
It was a while ago.
I can't Google it quick enough for this show. Yeah, I don't know. That's some horse shit. It was a while ago. I can't Google it quick enough
for the show.
Yeah, I don't know. I thought it was bad.
It's a painting with a broad
brush there.
I bet they do.
This has been one
of the most raunchy
shows we've done in a while.
You paused. You were searching for a word. I was going to give you raunchy shows we've done in a while. You paused. You were searching for a word.
I was going to give you a raunchy.
Honestly,
you've been fantastic.
Oh, no, no.
This is a good thing. I'm giving you a compliment.
This has been great.
You just throw out there whatever you want.
I'm not as familiar with your stuff as
these two, like your streams, and so I had no idea
the level of exposure you do.
When you just slipped out in the beginning, like,
you guys ever lick your friends' dicks?
I was like, what?
I mean, it's good conversation points.
Dude, it's very unusual that we are the
prudes in any conversation.
It might have happened tonight more than once.
I mean,
this has been definitely...
I've only done like two podcasts before. It's been the hardest one. This has been definitely... I've only done two podcasts
before. It's been the hardest one.
This has been a very long podcast.
This is the hardest one. A lot of people
legit find this to be one of their favorite
podcasts, even if we're not the biggest.
Jordan Peterson said that this was his favorite interview.
Maybe it was his dad.
He's done a ton of them.
What other podcasts were you on?
Why were they easier?
Just the length?
I was on No Jumper.
It's just the length.
An hour long or something like that.
It's just four hours.
It's hard to talk for four hours.
It's hard to stay on.
It's hard to stay on and not zone off
and start picking your nose or something.
It's impossible to fall
asleep like right after this i know you you probably aren't trying to anyway but like i'll
just be like trying to watch tv and decompress and i'm still in like snarky cunty mode yeah so i'll
just be watching seinfeld or some show and just like make a quip to myself like what are you doing
it's wrong just settle down like yeah do you do that too we're like you'll lay in bed and you'll
be thinking about a movie
and you'll think, oh, there's a funny joke you could say.
And it's like, oh, to who?
I just smoke a bunch of weed, son.
I just forget about it and fall asleep.
It's not the quip thing with me.
I'm like, oh, I'm up super late on PKA nights.
The show wraps by midnight or something.
I'll be done with the MP3s and the uploading and all that.
But I'll go to bed until like 3 a. 3am just because I'm not ready for sleep yet
and you know I sit here
and I drink like a couple of these espresso
things and a cup or two of coffee
so you know
it's not hard work I don't like that
I love fucking doing this shit
I feel very lucky
I love fucking doing this shit
I love it but you can love I love fucking doing this shit. I love it.
You can love something and recognize that it has some challenges.
Yeah, I wouldn't even say challenges.
I like how hard this is.
It's not hard like I feel like I'm failing every step and I need to get better.
It's more like I have to be on and focused and I'm always digging.
I'm always digging for more and trying to think of a funny thing to say.
Well, that's – I mean, this has been a long podcast,
but I've liked it a lot because we've talked about a lot of things that,
well, it's just very interesting, very weird and interesting.
So it opens up a lot of questions to be asked afterward by people.
Like, why does this happen? What's going on here?
I wonder if your subs are going to know
something new about you.
The people watching your streams will see a different
side of you?
I mean,
they definitely know everything
that I've already said here because I'm very open to everything.
But this is definitely
a different side. I'm just being
a lot more relaxed. I'm just being a lot more relaxed.
I'm not being so
hype or hyper, dude.
On stream, I'm really hype
with everything. But right now,
I'm just being relaxed.
It's a different side that people, I think,
like seeing because it's
a different change of pace.
Yeah, definitely so. I think this is
going to be good. I hope that
a lot of our viewers go check
your stuff out, and I hope
that some of your viewers that maybe came over here don't think
we're a bunch of cock normies
or something like that and realize that
I think
99% of my viewers
already know who you guys are, so
I really doubt that.
Yeah, I hope
some of them hop on board to our
little shit parade.
Because, you know, we do this shit
twice a week and have a good time at it.
And there's
more to come. So where can they find
your stuff, Ice?
You can find my stuff at
youtube.com slash ice underscore
Poseidon, and
Twitter is realice Poseidon and Twitter
is realicePoseidon.
Nice. And your chatterbait?
You know.
Ice ice baby.
64.
69.
Alright.
Anyone to hear from?
You know, check out all our sponsors.
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I know that she's trying to sell some soaps and aromatherapy stuff for the holidays.
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And, yeah, that's it.
All right.
Painkiller Ready, episode 363.