Painkiller Already - Painkiller Already #385

Episode Date: May 11, 2018

This week on PKA, our resident expert on everything, Filthy Robot is back on the show and he gets REAL DARK with the cast and crew this week, we learn that Woody had other hopes and dreams under the m...oniker of "Superboy" and then we watch a Dutch man get bitten by a shark.

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 All right, PKA episode 385 with our guest Filthy Robot. Kyle? Yeah, a couple sponsors tonight, Squarespace and Dollar Shave Club. We'll get to them later on, though. Yeah, we got Filthy back with us tonight. Should be a fun show. Is Filthy drinking water right there? He's prepping for the late show moments. I wasn't made aware this was going to be another drinking stream. What do you think is in this? Oh, God.
Starting point is 00:00:29 I hope it's coffee. You've got to be a real alcoholic to sip booze out of one of those. No one knows. See? It's great. Or just like a soccer mom. Some of them do that. Boxed wine and Vicodin.
Starting point is 00:00:43 Hiding it in your own house would be painful, right? Like, is that to keep it away from Jackie or? Jackie made the coffee. It's just his coffee. So Kyle, you had a couple shitty things you wanted to talk about. Yeah, very shitty. Uh, so let me link you guys to this. This is Wings Twitter today.
Starting point is 00:01:00 Um, I did not know where this was going. Okay. Yeah. The guys are totally caught off guard by this I told them I had some shit topics to go today I literally thought it was going to involve Gas stations on the highway We'll get there
Starting point is 00:01:14 This is Jordy Jordan At WarGodICP He says This is taking it too far Really Pretending to be a young girl With a letter full of actual shit. This is against the law and a biohazard.
Starting point is 00:01:32 So, Wings was sent a letter today. The top right image, you'll see, there's an envelope with a heart drawn on it. Let's stress how the heart looks. It looks like a normal person did it left handed or this is a child is what it looks like and then there is letter two now it looks suspiciously like like woody's gamer tags handwriting i'm just gonna throw that right out there you can imitate my handwriting with just by using your feet see i don't i don't know if
Starting point is 00:02:02 this looks more like a melted chocolate than shit. Don't ruin my dream, and I'll get to that. Wings has a response to anyone who might think this is chocolate. His grandma's holding the letter, and I can see her finger touching one of the little tidbits of brown. Like, she wouldn't. Look, trust me. Wings of Redemption knows what chocolate looks and smells like. And he himself has let us know that this is not
Starting point is 00:02:25 chocolate. And his grandmother is holding the note. And if anyone knows shit, it's his grandmother. What's the consistency of this shit? Look at how thick it is and creamy even. Please end this line. We have both subject matter experts on shit and chocolate
Starting point is 00:02:41 in the house there. Forgive me for being skeptical. The letter reads if you scroll down a little bit on the instagram there's a little bit of zoomed in one of the corner of the dollar bill with whatever that substance is it does not look like shit donation one dollar from kayla can i get a shout out on stream thanks buddy also you should hire sean to make highlights uh for your youtube out what does that say it says audi 5000 piece rsk no no it's audi 5000 i thought that was an rsk, peace pimp. And then the other side of the letter has a picture of Wing's face drawn. I think it's important to look behind the dollar bill and notice that.
Starting point is 00:03:31 That's totally a picture of Wing's face crudely scrawled on the back. And the dollar bill is attached via shit. Someone has smeared a brown thick substance across it and at first like you i was like that's not chocolate is it and someone said definitely looks more like chocolate but you're the only one that knows i guess and wings replies the smell says different all right well you know he's the one there in person but that is have you ever taken a shit with that kind of look at the bottom left one on the dollar bill in that second photo and look at that perfectly creamy lump like have anyone ever taken a shit here with that consistency i feel
Starting point is 00:04:17 like i've covered all the consistency by now yeah i mean we've run the whole gamut from practically chocolate milk to Butterfinger. But I mean, like, honestly, this person, their shit, it didn't, it's not runny at all. What? Right? Like, you'd think it would spread a bit more. Like, it's very, like, like a paste. Why are you trying to debunk the shit letter right now? What, what, this is, this is what Woody normally does, actually. That looks much more like chocolate. There's no way this is the funny thing you're trying to debunk the shit letter right now? This is what Woody normally does, actually.
Starting point is 00:04:45 That looks much more like chocolate. There's no way this is the funny thing you're trying to say. How am I in trouble for things I'd hypothetically do? It's still funny. It's funny. No, you're right. It's shit. Verified.
Starting point is 00:04:58 Yeah, there you go. Thank you. This is your shit. Come on. Someone send him a shit dollar. This is hilarious. But he definitely doesn't think so i i gotta wonder about the mail carrier's responsibility here though look look at the letter before he opened it it's all it's like there's seepage there's seepage there is there's a bunch of dots all over the envelope a couple of them
Starting point is 00:05:25 like not like oh this letter got a little dirty in the in the mail a little bit of rain must have got on it no it's like all the way through soaked and assuming we believe that he actually you know is bothered by this like i mean this is this doesn't seem real i mean it doesn't matter if it is real or isn't real right like i mean you look at this it't look very real. He thinks it's real and is bothered by it. It's done its intended, even if it isn't actually shit. I see where you're coming from. It's a perception of reality thing. But it seems like posting this online is going to give lots of people who would have never considered sending prank letters, make them send prank letters.
Starting point is 00:06:04 Bunny, you mentioned that, Taylor. I was spurred on by this myself this afternoon. Oh, were you? I sent a UPS package. Were you brewing up some dollar glue? Oh, oh, I sent him four pounds of shit. It's en route right now, next day. Next day air.
Starting point is 00:06:22 I was going to say, I thought maybe you'd follow us up with talking about the legality of what you could and couldn't send like item by item like your checklist I I hope the spurs on a rash of people sitting again feces all kinds of shit hope not you I hope they send it to you now I hope you get shit well if somebody sends Woody shit on my behalf I hope I will finally pass it on
Starting point is 00:06:53 that'll be the one letter that you actually send alright this one's going straight over you know what I've turned a new leaf I want to make sure it doesn't get a chance to dry so if you'd like to send shit to Taylor, you want to send it via Woody. I will split it and send it to the two of you.
Starting point is 00:07:14 I don't mind. I enjoy a nice letter. That's what you'd say to end the letters, but you wouldn't like it. Kyle's first message he receives in the mail can't possibly be augmented anymore. Everything else is a little less. Oh, shit! Thank God!
Starting point is 00:07:30 It's just shit! It did smell a little spooky and I was getting panicked. He's just like, going through, these are all misdemeanors, I think we're okay. It's just shit. Man. Clearly this is gonna inspire other poop bandits of sorts,
Starting point is 00:07:50 copycat criminals, right? You would think. It's possible that Thomas Tramaglini was the one who sent Wings the letter, and this was his last hurrah as the police were closing in on him because he turned out to be the new jersey superintendent who had been defecating on high school football fields daily daily police say this man had 147 000 a year salary as the superintendent there must be a nice fucking high school right he had been shitting on the field daily for weeks now he's been charged he's 42 years old this is not a child this is not a teenager he's been charged
Starting point is 00:08:33 with lewdness defecating in public and littering you know what he shouldn't get smacked with littering i feel like he should cop to just littering he just like you know what? He shouldn't get smacked with littering. I feel like he should cop to just littering. You know what? You cop to the littering. The rest of them sleep. It's like when you toss a banana peel out of your window or something into a field. It's like, that's compost. Come on.
Starting point is 00:08:58 You take a tomato off your burger, toss it in the parking lot. I actually do subscribe to that theory. You don't see me throwing cups or bags or anything out the window window but an apple core no big deal and that's totally true like i think that's even the law you can throw bits of food out like like on the side of the road like a little deer is gonna love it if you guys never like hiked to the top of some like super like cool like you know trail with like an overlook or something and everyone's had that same thought and there's like a pile of orange peels here a banana peel there an apple core there it sounds to me like you should have thrown them off the edge i mean i wouldn't mind that that much actually i wouldn't
Starting point is 00:09:36 like to see dorito bags there's if it's like a banana peel it's like some animal's gonna eat that there's a thing like they taught us when we hiked in Yosemite that over a certain elevation, it turns over really slowly. Like that's why there's no firewood there, because those shitty little tiny trees that you could go like this to take 15 years to grow. Whereas here they take two. And yeah. So anyway, you throw your orange peels in the wrong place, like at the top of a mountain, like Filthy said, it might stick around. Am I supposed to carry around my banana peels and apple cores like an asshole all day?
Starting point is 00:10:11 Yes. Yes, you are. Oh, well, okay. Zero trace stuff. You're supposed to hike in what you hike out. Take only pictures, leave only footprints. Yeah, fair enough. I guess I've never hiked to a high enough peak that there are banana
Starting point is 00:10:27 peels sitting there like uh like those everest climbers you ever seen those creepy photos where it's like this guy died in 1971 and like his boots are pristine it looks like he just fell asleep but you know if you like pulled back that like parka whatever the fuck they'd have to hike him out i don't know about that i think they break the rules here's what here's what happens to me they'll be like this guy died in 1985 this guy died in 1991 and i'm like oh yeah yeah i think i had that coat in middle school and then i remember my neon phase in 1991 like i had that coat in high school yeah you think you know what the worst is is that like that guy from 1976 and 1985 they were there when 1992 guy was shivering he's like fuck i'm looking
Starting point is 00:11:14 right into the future nobody's coming they didn't even come get these bodies like that's gonna be the worst feeling and you've got how much regret do you have as you die on Everest watching, like Woody said, a guy with parachute pants on and then a guy with a frozen mullet? And you're there in your Geneco jeans over whatever the hell you're wearing. Oh, don't hike mountains. You think the Nepalese government hits their widows up with a littering fine? I mean, they're poor as fuck, so they're probably trying to do whatever they can. I think Nepal is like... I think you get a pass if you're native.
Starting point is 00:11:50 I don't think the natives fiddle fuck around up there that high, right? Yeah, yeah, they absolutely do. Those are the guys who are carrying your shit up the mountain. They're the best at fucking around that high. Are you not aware of Sherpas? I knew they were good. I didn't know that like independently they would just go to the peak, though. I think they're like porn stars and fighters. They only do it for the money.
Starting point is 00:12:10 Well, if they can do it, more power to them. Sounds like an awful job. Leading a bunch of fat Americans who are like, oh, I'm on a survival mission. That's exactly it. These Americans are like, I'm the first to go up the south side. Meanwhile, some asshole carried all your shit for you. You know, they actually have separate like world records. Like I'm the first white man to do this because the natives, they just do it like it's no big deal. No black men so far, but someday. Are we done with this guy's photo?
Starting point is 00:12:40 Like, did they catch him mid-moment with this fucking photo? Like, was this actually as he was shitting on the field? i mean look at that face man i can't get over that mugshot that is the look of a man who just got caught shitting on a football field and has lost his 150 000 salary yeah i wonder did he do we have anything like a like did he justify this at all did he say anything fertilizing fertilizer he said he was how do you think i keep the green so nice in certain patches at least you think this is like passive aggressive like i mean he's he was a management position though right like he wasn't like super intended yeah so that's that's man so he doesn't even interact with these kids like on a one-to-one basis very often right so
Starting point is 00:13:18 it's not like he's just like pissed at some group of people or something this is what like stress shitting like what is this his own like lawn staff like he didn't get caught mid shit it says he got caught with uh cameras that were installed there which is also confusing because it's like you would think that he would be the inside man where they're like we're having a big you know uh district-wide meeting of course superintendent you need to come uh we're gonna plan out where we're gonna put the shit cameras like you think he'd be taking notes so he would know exactly where to poop but i don't know i have i have no pity for this man i think there has to be a bathroom close you're out of school i mean i feel bad for the poor guy he's getting a paid leave of absence they're raking
Starting point is 00:13:58 him through the mud yeah they can't fire him until he's been convicted yeah poor guy he's probably union but i kind of feel bad for him because it sounds like he was just shitting in the field, which maybe that's his fetish, right? Yeah, they're fetish shaming. I feel like they are a little. You don't know. You don't know. That's what I'm saying.
Starting point is 00:14:20 I want to hear his justification. I don't even care what it is. I just want to hear him tell us why he was doing this. I was looking at the article for that. I didn't see anything that justified it. My theory is he doesn't like the football team. No, come on. Really?
Starting point is 00:14:36 That's what I was just saying. He doesn't interact with them, right? He probably doesn't know them from anyone else. I think he's like the football team is full of assholes. They think they run the school. The superintendent runs this school. Why is he's like the football team's full of assholes. They think they run this school. The superintendent runs this school. Why is he shitting on the track? It says on a football field.
Starting point is 00:14:52 And then I think Chiz put it in the track as well. I think he diversified his shitting a bit. Let's see. If I were him, I feel like his defense needs to be that he has some sort of irritable bowel or something like that.
Starting point is 00:15:09 And like every morning he walks the grounds and he just kept – it was just an emergency. He couldn't – and just as he's explaining that to the judge, like mid-sentence, he shits himself right there in court. It's coming on right now it's six i got the hot snakes who among us hasn't had their coffee and had to go right i think that's your i like it says that he was shitting on the track and the field the football field i like to imagine that he wasn't even like squatting that he was shitting the way wild animals do, where just mid-run, just a spray of shit out on there. Like, well, it can't be human. What animal's doing this?
Starting point is 00:15:52 Whoever it is, they're also eating the cafeteria food. Dude, I'm getting flashbacks to this guy. I don't know if you guys have like moved away from where you grew up and stuff this guy is like half the people i went to high school with and his name thomas trauma galini that that's who i went to high school with not not literally that name but so many like tarazini's tamagalini's abezettos etc like they're and in his face like i could tell you this guy's mannerisms and how he talks with his hands and how
Starting point is 00:16:27 aggressive he is during conversation and stuff. I've got a total mental picture of this guy in motion. It sounds like you're very prejudiced against Italians. I like most of the Italians. I think you're like, yeah, I bet he's
Starting point is 00:16:44 real misogynistic and he's probably got an uncle who could hook you yeah, I bet he's real misogynistic, and he's probably got an uncle who could hook you guys. I bet he's got hairy knuckles. This guy is a New Jersey Italian, and this is my bread and butter. This is where I grew up. I have an Italian pass, a hood pass, what you might say. Yeah, just something about that fucking stare and like the purse on his face. Like I know this guy.
Starting point is 00:17:09 I don't know him, but I know a hundred people like him. Just because of his race. It's a little bigoted, Woody. That's not what this show is about. This is a Christian program. Italians aren't even people. I got you there. Not racist. I don't even consider them summary clip right that'll probably make it into the recap thing that you're you're starting to maybe do there
Starting point is 00:17:34 buddy uh yeah who knows just that out of all no context just that i uh i think you're setting me up but uh uh yeah so i uploaded a highlight clip in hopes that maybe people don't want to see all four hours would be interested in highlights or something. Because that's how I watch Joe Rogan's. And I'm not actually making them. The YouTube channel Endless is making them. And I guess the deal is he uploads first, gives it to me, I link his channel, and it should be a win for everybody. So we'll see how it works out. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:18:03 How do you guys feel about him getting paid leave for getting caught on camera shitting on the track? Well, it has more to do with the policy of that school district than anything. He has to be convicted of a crime before you can fire him or have him not be on paid leave or something like that. As an employee, you would want that sort of innocent until proven guilty kind of mindset. You would would but i feel like usually that would be applied where a kid would be like hey he aggressively you know squeezed my arm or something and pulled me out of the class
Starting point is 00:18:34 or some shit like that and they're like well we need to prove if this happened or not i pull the other students and whoever was there for this it's like is that you and your uh superintendent trammel guinea uh high school jacket and is that your asshole spewing a lot a lot of the wednesday special all over the track and have you been sending packages to jordy jordan conway south. Guilty on all counts. Man. How could you not just... He couldn't... Maybe... I'm coming around to Woody's point of view.
Starting point is 00:19:16 Maybe something about this maybe almost got him off or made him feel like... Maybe not even sexually, like he was getting away with something. I feel like it was a punishment to the people that it would bother. I like it i don't know taylor if you wake up one day and someone shit on your driver's seat you're gonna think like you might think who's mad at me why
Starting point is 00:19:36 do they do this to me this really sucks it could be a random thing this guy's shit on the football field and on the track field i think he has a problem with the athletics program. He's not shitting on chess club. Yeah. I don't know. This is going to take a lot of introspection and thought. But anyway, go ahead. I have an entirely different topic.
Starting point is 00:19:59 I don't know if you guys are changing pace. Before we jump to another one, I wanted to catch up with Filthy a bit, see what's new in your life. You know, still, I see the bike behind you. You're still active. That's great. Just actually just got nice. That'll probably be out tomorrow.
Starting point is 00:20:12 I think I'm going to have to actually bike around the area. Much the same. Still streaming. Still uploading to YouTube. Still doing that for a living. My wife's just about to finish her PhD here. She'll be done at the end of this spring. Is she doing a dissertation?
Starting point is 00:20:35 Did she write it? Did she defend it? Where is she on that? She has written it. She has posed and she's waiting to get feedback and then there will be a defense. Can you explain how? I don't think I understand posting. Does that just mean she turned it in? She's proposed, I said. Oh, okay. So you propose a dissertation and that's basically you get approval to do it. You have to have a bunch of stuff pre-written for that, large parts of it pre-written basically for that. And you go and you collect the data and you basically write the analysis and the discussion of that. And then you're going to go defend that. We're basically a group, a panel of five or six PhDs sit down and you do a presentation with them and whatnot. and she's in between the stage where she's finished collecting finished writing
Starting point is 00:21:07 and is waiting to defend basically are you able to go into what it's about like what her thesis is about or no I don't think it really has she's you know she looks at human sexuality so she did a particular set of experimental manipulation of that so with a kind of
Starting point is 00:21:23 both have advanced degrees in human sexuality? Yeah. Yeah. Can I put a request that you guys go on Chatterbait just so I can like pick up a thing or two? What? I mean, come on. It'd probably be better to just read his dissertation.
Starting point is 00:21:40 No, I'm a visual learner. A visual learner. I'll let my wife know that Woody's requested she go on Chatterbait. With you? I'm a visual learner. I'll let my wife know that Woody's requested she go on ChatterBase. With you? I'm no sicko. This is going in your highlight reel again. I love Kyle's eyes.
Starting point is 00:21:56 Yeah, he does that. The curled up lips. It is interesting though to have human sexuality experts. Do you guys talk about sex often in your theories and like pet theories and whatnot or is it almost like you both have spent so much time with it that it's like let's keep work at work like let's you know let's really mix it up with some vanilla missionary you know oh my god for the express purpose of procreation? And she'd have a little bonnet on? Well, I mean, she's still doing this for her profession, and I'm not. So we worked on a lot of projects together when we were both in graduate school,
Starting point is 00:22:35 and I'm not doing much of that anymore. So no, not as much. I mean, I certainly hear about her work, but it's not quite the same. I'm no longer a portion of it. Do you think you'll ever bounce back and maybe after streaming get a career her work but I don't it's not quite the same I'm no longer a portion of it you think you'll ever bounce back and like maybe after streaming like get a career using that or you kind of moving past it I don't know yet to quite honestly like sometimes it's really interesting this parts of graduate school really miss and
Starting point is 00:22:56 that field that I really like and sometimes I'm really glad I'm not a graduate student anymore so back into a field using that that's Taylor's roundabout way of asking you to go on Chatterbait. I don't appreciate putting those words in my mouth. I was thinking more leading seminars. Or maybe be one of those ladies who sells dildos. I know. My wife's CV is some ridiculously long document with all the presentations she's done in all these different locations.
Starting point is 00:23:22 And I'm not sure that they ask her to list Chatterbait on that i mean i don't know she's not defending it to me i feel like hey sweet potato you know this looks good and everything but we've got more work to do and silence dead silence anyway that's exciting so she's gonna she's i guess ab. Anyway, that's exciting. So she's going to, she's, I guess, ABD doctor now. That's the term they use. And soon she'll be an actual doctor. Yep. She has her job lined up. She has a position starting in September.
Starting point is 00:23:52 So we have a next phase going on for that. So it'll be good. Real good. Can you share anything about that? Or are you keeping it private? Sure. It's a visiting assistant professorship for the first year. We'll do a year of that, which is basically, and then she will go look for a tenure track position somewhere that she wants to spend serious time at
Starting point is 00:24:09 so i'll be a year yeah we'll be a year up in wisconsin for a year which isn't that sweet but and you got are you renting now yeah oh so it's just that'd be fine just pick up and go yeah i don't know how we're gonna end up i mean it's kind of interesting because as a streamer i don't really care where i'm living you know long as decent internet doesn't really make that much of a difference but i am i am now aware of the fact that i might find out shortly you know as she gets back on the job market because that basically starts immediately for looking for the year after next uh where where the hell i'm gonna end up for the next chunk of my life so it's kind of both interesting and a little bit disturbing i don't have more control over that in some sense
Starting point is 00:24:48 i was watching one of your civ games the other day and i guess it was from a couple years ago but you were doing you were utilizing your fan base to do some sort of a sexual questionnaire of some kind really i don't think i'm not sure that's true sure like like you had they were filling out some sort of uh they were answering questions uh from i did a channel survey once or twice so i'm for my channel but it wasn't sexual based it was like you know why are you watching my stream style really supposed to yeah it wasn't like it wasn't like how often do you use chatterbait and do you demand people show up on it or not? I may have gotten confused because you also, in the same breath, were explaining the emphasis in human sexuality, nature of your PhD or something like that. And I was hoping that that had been a thing and I wanted to know what the sexual makeup of Filthy Robot's
Starting point is 00:25:45 Twitch audience was. Yeah, I would be fascinated with that. That might be an interesting stream, though. Like the Dr. Kensington of Twitch. Like, figure out what these people are into. I've been telling my wife she needs to spend some time researching Twitch for me.
Starting point is 00:26:03 That would be very, very helpful. Give me the answers to how that works would be great well i i'll tell you i watched a fascinating live stream uh last night um over on ice poseidon's youtube channel uh he he did another thing where he locks people in his closet and the last person left in that closet gets the money that's been donated that's accrued over the time period that they've been in there and i believe the number was around eight thousand dollars that had uh that had piled up and to be honest i'm sort of in and out of the stream so i didn't really notice how people got kicked out i think they were voted out by the viewing audience itself which doesn't seem fair if you ask ask me. It seems like people should either
Starting point is 00:26:47 quit or stay, but I think it was supposed to be 24 hours in the closet. Not fair, but it might be a better show, right? Well, it was an excellent show because there was a black guy in there, and he did not seem to understand the sort of hijinks that would be pulled in a closet with five or six other human beings uh these are all like weird guys you know i mean they've they volunteered to be in a closet and one girl who was quite attractive and at some point uh a gentleman known as scuffed jim carrey i, sprayed shaving cream all over this black man.
Starting point is 00:27:26 Or maybe it was ice cream. It was something like that. It looked like that. The black man beat him down. Starts throwing... Wait, like actually throwing punches? Like legit punches? Throwing hard punches.
Starting point is 00:27:39 Hit him two or three times really hard in the face. And so he was voted out of the of the closet who's he i don't even know who's voted out at this point the black man i don't know he's the more entertaining guy i would have voted out the loser of the fight you can't have a violent man in the closet i actually would prefer all four of them to be violent is there like a camera in the closet that he checks it on from time not only is there a camera there's a there's a camera up high there's good lighting now because he's done this shit before.
Starting point is 00:28:07 And there is a robot in the closet which looks like a blender on wheels that just sort of wheels around. But it quickly became the upskirt cam, if I'm going to be honest. Because the girl's wearing a skirt and the audience controls the camera. So the camera,
Starting point is 00:28:24 not only does the robot move around with the audience's control, it uses text to speech. So it's saying disgusting things. Show us your pussy. Show us your pussy. And continually ramming into her thighs as she tries to. Not very hard. We saw so much ass. And then today I found like tons of nude
Starting point is 00:28:47 videos of her so did you see her underwear yeah yeah i also saw her bloody tampons piled up in the corner because we're not allowed bathroom breaks it must have stunk to high heaven and like pennies smelled like pennies and farts just Just a real sulfur dioxide. But you actually see a pile of tampons in the corner? Oh, yeah. Well, that's okay. Well, yeah. I don't put anything past ice on his streams. He seems to go balls to the wall.
Starting point is 00:29:18 I watched that whole episode with you guys having ice on because I found it just absolutely fascinating and couldn't look away. So I understand that sentiment like i'm thinking of this right now i'm like wow how did he think this up like how did this come to him what moment was he like brainstorming his next session he's like you know it'd be great a bunch of people shitting in my uh shitting in my closet with a camera and a robot that you know sexually harasses someone well he knows he knows he's gonna get kicked out of any
Starting point is 00:29:45 given apartment within a month or two. So who cares if they shit in his closet? Who cares if they die in there? I don't know. This is timestamped to the Black Man Attack, which is what I'm dubbing it. Are we watching this? I hope so. I'm very interested. It should go to you like
Starting point is 00:30:01 5 minutes and 38 seconds. There is good lighting. I need a moment to yeah He's got like what do I really want you to be on the audio quality about this clip like figure out if he's wired wired The closet up for good audio quality as well because I mean lighting that's one thing but the audio quality is really where you tell Are we ready? I'm ready ready set play It's very quiet. I can't hear shit, can you? It seems like he's saying gaslighting repeatedly.
Starting point is 00:30:32 It is. Oh, boy. Wait. Oh, he's hitting Scuff Jim Carrey. I see how he got his name. Yep. Scuff Jim Carrey is not hitting back. Oh.
Starting point is 00:30:53 He's wiping stuff on him. Yeah, he's wiping his hands, which probably have ice cream on them, on the obviously alpha black guy. And I'm guessing he's trying to make himself feel better because he just got slapped. But he pushed it too far. So Alpha. Oh, they're filling their Tecate everywhere.
Starting point is 00:31:13 Alpha dude looks a little concerned. Oh, my gosh. So, yeah. Beta, I can't tell what he dumped on him. It looked like popcorn or something. Look at his head. It's like ice cream. It's like he's got it all over his head.
Starting point is 00:31:31 Oh, okay. It must have been the empty carton. Yeah. It's all melted. I will choke you out, buddy. He's talking a good game. White guy is threatening him. Yes. I believe those are empty
Starting point is 00:31:47 threats well he doesn't want to get kicked out he needs this money for for cocaine and so did he lose the closet challenge because he had to leave to because the guy punched him black guy lost the challenge uh scuff jim carrey was one of the last two remaining along with the girl who you may not have noticed but she's lying on the floor between them during this whole altercation i noticed that she's got a lot of self-control and also probably was a little bit of fear in there like i'm locked in here with a couple of i assume she wins she wins she wins and uh and she found she seems pretty interesting um like uh today check controlling this you probably could have just assumed that ahead of time right yeah one female like chat's
Starting point is 00:32:32 chat's not gonna be able to come back from that they're not gonna be able to master themselves okay i agree and she's she's she's kind of cute and she's got a real big fat ass that we got just lots of looks up today i did my my research okay and i found that there is a video of scuff jim carrey lying on a couch with a girl this is a completely different stream on battle cam i believe i may have seen this the girl is passed out unconscious completely pulls her titty out big titty gropes the unconscious girl size of a baby's head a baby's head that might have something wrong with it grabs her ass and then looks at the camera and gives him the thumbs up after his sexual assault they'll be convicted with a video like that absolutely he could and then i
Starting point is 00:33:26 also saw a video of the the girl in this call on some sort of i don't know she's like like getting her ass out for the camera and like rubbing herself with oil and like i don't know doing squats in her kitchen and stuff i don't know if you saw that yeah just saw i knew i was like did you i was about to be like did you see the ass video chis he's like grabbing her ass smacking it did you see the tweet about it so he tweets her no he texts her i mean to say and the tweet is screenshots of the text are you familiar with this you have to speed and he's like if i have the story right someone correct me if you know better he texts
Starting point is 00:34:07 this girl and says everyone's treating me like i'm a rapist you know be like can can you tell him that this was all okay and consensual and she's like for what and he's like for you know grabbing your titty and your butt or whatever she's like i don't even remember that and he's like yeah yeah jokes or something and uh in the end like just the way that the conversation was cut you couldn't tell exactly how she replied to it but he posted it as proof that it was consensual yeah she doesn't care she doesn't care about any of this you can tell like like like she's she doesn't care about anything this is a real damaged drug addict type individual absolutely like like all of them are oh
Starting point is 00:34:46 really oh yeah they're all just just real scummy people not ice i like ice all right the people hanging around ice aren't as reputable as i would have believed just a moment ago so then he got a homeless man to come in this isn't me being silly then he got an actual homeless man to come in and he's have he's talking to this guy and he's he's like uh if i give you money what are you gonna do with it and the homeless man literally he goes buy meth he goes you're gonna buy meth yeah well i can't give you money if you're gonna buy meth why not then they put the homeless man in a straitjacket this is the ice show that was for everyone's safety that was for everyone's safety that would be a stipulation on my popular stream all right you can come in and i'll give you money for meth but you gotta put this on
Starting point is 00:35:42 is he off twitch because he's not allowed to stream on Twitch? Correct, Amon. How long before YouTube? I mean, what you're describing is content. He might be the most popular streamer on YouTube. Is there a more popular YouTube streamer? I have no idea. I don't know how many views he gets.
Starting point is 00:35:59 The closet video had 800,000 views. Last time I checked. Well, that's a fuck ton. This is from last night right from last night yeah right he's killing it right now although his expenses are quite high normally how is that what is that what expense no expenses on this one maybe not well it sounded like a lot of what he was doing was going to the winner well okay here's some expenses uh i think his last apartment which was lasting him like a month would cost eight thousand dollars in like damages and security deposit and things like
Starting point is 00:36:28 that um he has a cast of high uh you know uh the the geek squad i'll call him you know who follows him around and uh i think they all you know get money funneled to them a little bit here and there like in one way or another half of it went to i guess a lot of it went to the winner of the closet challenge, right? So that girl got some money. Obviously, he's buying meth for homeless people. It's not that he's not making money. I think he is. But compared to a guy who maybe livestreams video games and literally has like, you know,
Starting point is 00:36:59 a capture card a year, it costs a lot more. I think we should correct one thing you said. He's not buying meth for homeless people. No, no, thing you said he's not buying meth for homeless people no no certainly not buying meth for anyone my mistake he's giving money to people who buy meth not if they say they're gonna buy i mean nobody's attacking you know every job technically gives people money to to do whatever they want to with it it's the american way exactly there's not a lot of point in correcting Woody post fact because this is going in the highlight video one line at a time.
Starting point is 00:37:30 That's true. Highlight videos aren't concerned with context. They're certainly not concerned with corrections. That might be published in text form below it or something where no one will ever fucking see it. In a comment. I feel like this highlight video thing is really going to bite me.
Starting point is 00:37:45 I'm quite excited. I don't think Ice is making a lot of money right now, but I don't think this is the phase of his career, if you will, that he needs to be focused on the bottom line necessarily as much as he needs to be focused on building a reputation. Exactly. exactly building a reputation building an audience and building his group of whack packers or you know is very important for the kind of show that he puts on you can't just go on and be you every every week and be like yeah it's me ice again we're gonna go to the grocery store and see what kind of crazy hijinks i get up to no you gotta be like all right we're back double coupons bitches we got scuff steve jobs we got scuffed Jim Carrey, here's Mexican Andy, here's Robot Andy,
Starting point is 00:38:29 and we got a homeless man. What does scuffed mean? A little messed up. Oh, okay. Like, fucked up, okay. Yeah, yeah, that's how I see it. They were calling the girl scuffed Amelia Clark because she kind of looks like Amelia Clark
Starting point is 00:38:48 except with fucked up teeth and no soul anymore. No dragons. No dragons. Laying on the ground in the middle of a fight. She's chasing that white dragon. That's what she's doing right now with her all $8,000. Someone posted there
Starting point is 00:39:02 a current picture of scuffed Amelia Clark and it's like snorting cocaine with a straw. It's like absolutely. Oh, and then the other video I saw of scuffed Jim Carrey, I would feel bad about calling out, you know, another individual on the internet, but it seems like he's just fine with it
Starting point is 00:39:19 because it seemed like he is live streaming, okay, in his car, he's driving, you're looking out the windshield via his cell phone, and he buys cocaine from a street corner drug dealer. On stream. The guy says, whoa, bro, I can't be on live stream. He's like, it's all good. I was never here.
Starting point is 00:39:43 But there's evidence i just said i i said to my wife i don't know apparently i have no fucking idea what i'm doing with the streaming business because this is not not the way i've been approaching it and this is clearly a much better business model someone else has got going on here how many people you got invited a single homeless person into your home i've never straight jacketed a home that a homeless man but you don't even have a straight drinking episodes and i've seen you make a lot of money on them maybe you do yeah stop doing that a couple years ago because it's not allowed with the twitch gos what about youtube yeah you can do it on youtube right well i can still drink on stream it's just you can't you can't have people buying you alcohol on stream like and
Starting point is 00:40:21 it's not like going somewhere just even the donating for a drink style stuff you know how in the nba they have like the wilt chamberlain rule and they make it illegal to do whatever i don't know palm the basketball and they have this like the jordan rule we're traveling i feel like that's the only use me blade rule like twitch changed their their streaming terms uh because of blades drinking streams streams. That's my theory. I don't get why. Why would they care? Either way.
Starting point is 00:40:48 I have no fucking idea. It's bad PR. Twitch seems to be way, way more strict than YouTube. Possibly. It's bad PR. Yeah, absolutely. It's bad PR, though. Like, we can all imagine someone who's in dire financial straits, and they're like,
Starting point is 00:41:03 oh, shit, i really do need another hundred dollars i guess i will drink this and you know giving themselves alcohol poisoning and dying it's not like they got a lot of friends and family around they're they're straining in their basement in the middle they sound like an amateur is what they sound like yeah they sound like someone who dude if somebody is like i need another hundred dollars for rent i'm gonna start a twitch stream and get you get alcohol poisoning. He would have went and turned tricks. How long has it been since someone's died on Twitch?
Starting point is 00:41:31 Do we know? That one guy killed himself on it back when it was JustinTV, right? More recently, though. There was a guy who did a 24-hour livestream. A guy did a 24-hour livestream. I'm not paused about this part, so I might be wrong, but there is an implication that he was taking something to help him stay up i don't know adderall or something like something
Starting point is 00:41:51 more than caffeine and uh and he died towards the end of his dream i'm kind of shocked that it doesn't happen more often quite honestly i mean it is a public venue that has no filter you know no like no anything you can do anything you want i could do whatever the fuck i wanted right now and it goes out live with no one checking that and yeah it might get shut down after that happened but nothing prevents it from happening in the first place yeah like when those like when those people tortured that retarded guy on uh on facebook live i don't know about that you didn't see that i don't know it was really fucked up i don't think i want to see it.
Starting point is 00:42:25 Yeah, you don't. Yeah, you don't. It was like three or four black teens grabbed this white retarded guy, and they're beating him and doing horrible things to him. Yeah, it's really fucked up. They were politically motivated to some extent. Did they not say, like, fuck Trump or something like that? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:42:42 It's like you think this retarded guy is the enemy? They cut his head open. I think they, like, burned him or something like that. It's like you think this retarded guy is like the enemy? They cut his head open. I think they burned him or something. It's not like while they've got his head in the toilet bowl, he comes up MAGA FOR LIFE! That wasn't the situation. I'm afraid and I don't remember my home address.
Starting point is 00:42:59 What time is it? I need to be home! Shut up, white boy! We know you're the reason Trump got elected. Have a cigarette. I left school after eighth grade! I studied in the trailer in the back.
Starting point is 00:43:17 Like, please. Oh, poor fucking guy. It was hard to watch. It was terrible. Good job. somehow you made Torturing a retarded guy funny I love that Two thumbs down
Starting point is 00:43:34 Torturing retarded people That's one of our hard stances here on the show We don't care how much hate it gets us Don't torture retarded people Apparently unless it's Wings Who has an iq of 62 62 or is it 65 what did he say 62 i i never okay all right she's confirmed it keep that keep that to yourself no you put it on stream i think not if you have an iq of 62
Starting point is 00:44:00 that makes a lot of sense 62 that's like there's no first of all that wings was just wrong he does not have an iq of 62 he's actually higher than that yeah way higher than that yeah in which case is he more stupid that he thinks he has an iq of 62 and and doesn't realize that that's retarded or if he actually had an iq of 62 i don't know like train wrecks we've just been talking about a different type of train wreck being entertaining and fun to watch and brings in the views and brings in the money this is again this is a train wreck someone saying that and then acting stupid and then doing stupid shit that's that's viewable he could need to try and find what the behavior of someone who has a 62 iq would be like
Starting point is 00:44:46 like how okay well on this it classifies it as just extremely low i i i miss prelexa pro wings he was on fire he was making money he was raging i would I'll even take God of War wings. That was pretty good. He was putting on some quality. Oh, that was recently, though. That was like last week. It might have been like Lex Pro not kick in yet, though. It was like two weeks ago, maybe. Sound right?
Starting point is 00:45:17 I thought it was last week. Yeah, I don't know. Look, I think that a lot of him not raging is placebo effect. I think you're going to get the rage when he's properly motivated to rage, right? I do. Recently, things have been going just kind of okay, I guess. I mean, he did get sent that shit today. Now, maybe that'll help a little.
Starting point is 00:45:39 He got sent shit. His revenue has dropped. He should have tons of anxiety regarding the surgery. I think the Lexapro is genuinely working And helping That surgery is coming He got checked out He's 100% healthy
Starting point is 00:45:52 He got Trump's doctor to write him a clean bill of health Just no money whatsoever You just write those yourself Yeah He just dictated Using non-medical language he's positive for everything he said uh he said he's 100 healthy and uh good to go for the surgery uh which that's good you know that's not he's not using that as a bill of health that's like you know nothing
Starting point is 00:46:20 prevents the surgery from happening as opposed to all is well well he doesn't have the diabetes and we all thought that he had the diabetes i figured that like i figure a man like him like has a hard time peeing without dribbling all over himself and so i imagine the inside of his underwear like lemon pops lemon pop rock candy everywhere Just little jewels of sugary, hardened urine just everywhere. And if you scraped it up and concentrated it, children everywhere would love to lick that little dipper and stick it in there. Why is it that you think Wings doesn't pee a normal stream? I'm sure he pees a normal stream, but I don't think he's able to shake it off properly. And I feel like the girth might disallow.
Starting point is 00:47:13 The thick six. No, the thick 82. His stomach, I feel like, at this point, I feel like At this point I feel like His stomach is on his dick He's gonna be like I'm a 78 Why are you exaggerating this horse shit Yeah I'm always off So this is one of these
Starting point is 00:47:36 They're gonna do something to his stomach So he's eating as much as Weight removed and then it's for post fact Afterwards to help him with dealing with that No weight removed He straight up just can't eat As much as like weight removed and then it's for like post fact afterwards to help him with like dealing with that right no way you know that no he straight up uh just can't eat as much as he used to it's okay medically induced discipline okay yeah so um i know a girl in real life who's done that it's worked really really well for her uh and she's been great with it but i was talking to her about actually a couple weeks ago and she was saying you know one of the things that people who do this do to get around it is it's it's this it's literally a physical size limitation
Starting point is 00:48:09 so you can do one of two things you can eat basically constantly and still get past the amount because it's just basically you're eating small amounts all the time and you can do very high liquid diets that will also allow you to take a ton of calories while still having this stomach thing so there might i'd be curious now because it's only it's only discipline up to a point right like all it does is limit your physical food because the physical solid food consumption so if someone's real motivated that i guess actually doesn't do much of anything they're real motivated you can beat it yeah yeah this is in the chat cracking me up he's like cake shakes cake shakes get that in a copy of my book chris christie's beaten it plenty
Starting point is 00:48:52 of times yeah so i didn't i didn't realize that was news to me that you could uh the people would self-sabotage to the point of beating their surgical intervention for for something they presumably want gone yeah most people well Well, there's different ones, but some of them, I guess they tie it. It seems like more than half of people beat it, beat the salary. Yeah, those people do
Starting point is 00:49:14 because all they got to do is overeat and they swell their little stomach up to a big one again. Yeah, the stomach is like an asshole. It can be, it's supple and it can stretch. It's supple. And it can stretch. Stretchy.
Starting point is 00:49:28 Yeah, it'll fit whatever needs. It must. Coated with wet platinum. Can they then go in and get that done again for their new stomach? So they'd have a series of tied-off stomachs? You can get a... I don't actually know how... Like a bunch of balloon animals. You can get it done multiple times.
Starting point is 00:49:42 It just gets thinner and thinner. It's amazing. Oh, man. I'm learning today. What's the name of... He's not getting lap band. He's getting gastric bypass, right? Correctamundo, yes.
Starting point is 00:49:54 Yes. Okay. Because lap band is the one that has a much lower rate of success. And a much lower rate of fatality. There's what needs to be sent. Not shit in the mail. Someone needs to send a formula for the most delicious cake drink ever. Oh, my God.
Starting point is 00:50:08 That would be the subtlest, most brilliant form of torture right there. What a cool sabotage, Filthy. Or you could just sign him up for the cookie of the month club. Woody signed us up for the cookie of the month club one time. I was furious. I was furious i was furious i i i was like this is horseshit there's literally you literally ordered me 244 fucking he loved those cookies those cookies were outstanding and here's a thing unbeknownst to me they were really for kitty kitty was helping me with my minecraft server and i was trying to show
Starting point is 00:50:42 some appreciation and uh but it turns out like i'm gonna make up a number half three quarters of them had some sort of nut that she'd be allergic to so kyle's disposal services were put into action we plumped them up that's i definitely awful self-regulate in part by not putting shit around that i'm gonna want when i'm late at night drinking or something i don't buy cookies exactly exactly kyle that's what i'm saying so i can see that that's such a that's a dick move woody that's a real dick that's like sending an alcoholic like a make your own beer kit right when taylor was starting on his lifting like getting real involved in it you like sent him like signed him up for like a beer of the month like cookie of the day and like cake recipe cookie of the day i would have had no success they're showing up every morning at eight and i gotta eat them quick because they're gonna get
Starting point is 00:51:30 stale attractive baker who comes into your house each morning prepares you the cake of the morning or something like this you're fucked they're like gourmet cookies they're good stuff they were delicious fucking cookies they they were all good there wasn't a bad cookie in the bunch and i'm like i love them i love them and i would get them and look i don't eat one cookie everything with me is in excess like like the reason i don't buy a bag of oreos is because i can sit and eat an entire bag of oreos and a half of a gallon of milk while i watch a movie like i'll just keep pouring i'll just keep topping off that glass of milk and keep dunking. I got my Oreo fork right here.
Starting point is 00:52:09 I'm going to eat them all. Have you ever just gone ham on Oreos, and then, like, you see yourself in the mirror afterwards, and you have just the shameful remnants of your Oreo feast? That's like the equivalent of, like, a heroin user's track marks. Like, you have to quickly try and scrub it off and forget it but the taste doesn't leave which just makes you want more oreos and i know you guys aren't big drinkers but like for me like i i like my alcohol and i like my
Starting point is 00:52:34 alcohol fairly fairly frequently and stuff like self-discipline and willpower shit that disappears real quick when you're drinking like i really don't want that shit around because then it's like oh i have a couple beers or i have or I have a couple glasses of whiskey or something. And at the end of the night, I'm like, man, I got a bit of a sweet tooth right now. And then I'm fucked. Because then there's like no self-regulation there at all. So it's like, yeah, I could see that being.
Starting point is 00:52:54 That's the worst part of even the calories and the alcohol is at the end of the night, the decisions you make where it's like, I could eat an entire pizza. Fuck it. And then the next morning you wake up and come out and you're like, you see the empty box and you're like, oh, no. And I didn't have company over at that point. Like, it was just me.
Starting point is 00:53:12 I like to have a couple drinks if I know I'm going to have a good meal. Like, I got some Indian food yesterday and I got like this gigantic sampler. It came with like sausages and like lamb sausage and wings and little chicken bites and like two kinds of curry and this huge thing of rice and they make the indians make this uh this rice pudding that's just delicious and i can't eat it all if i haven't had a couple of drinks in me so you know i have a couple of belts of grand Gala, and I'm good and wasted, and then I just lay waste to the whole Indian dinner. Kyle doesn't do two fingers of Grand Gala.
Starting point is 00:53:51 When he says a belt, he means like a UFC championship of Grand Gala. I drink like five fingers of Grand Gala, something like that. Five fingers of Grand Gala. Like one of those in a rocks glass and and i'm good to fucking go and i and i and and when i'm when i'm that drunk everything tastes amazing and it's like my stomach isn't there anymore i can just keep eating and eating it's like there's so much alcohol in my stomach that it's dissolving the food even faster and just getting me through it i wish wings drank oh can you imagine he'd really take to it he'd really take to it well he he doesn't seem to like it at all so he probably wouldn't right like he really just likes alcohol and no one starts
Starting point is 00:54:39 liking alcohol though right like if wings yeah if he acquired a taste for it then he would become a champion yeah he's he claims he has an addictive personality and his father i believe i don't even want to say this necessarily but his dad had a drinking problem and i believe still does and i think his dad's dying right now of cirrhosis of the liver so so i think that's how i'll go yeah me too right yeah exactly i i mean it taylor do you have any alcohol lying around i mean it's it's not too late to i don't know i'm i was tired of my plateauing and like and shit with weight loss because like filthy said it's not even like the booze calories as much as it is. Like if you're drinking Fridays and Saturdays, it's really easy to be like, oh, it's 1145,
Starting point is 00:55:29 but there's a Mexican place open. I'm going to go get fajitas and chips and a quesadilla. Or then the next night you're like, ah, I'll just eat a whole pizza. And then like by the end of that weekend, you're like, fuck, I set myself back. And so I'm not doing any late night snacking this month and I'm not doing any liquid calories this month because I want to hurry. I think I'm going on vacation after the second week of June. And it's going to be in Florida. And so I want to make sure I look pretty good walking around out there.
Starting point is 00:55:57 Don't want to look shitty. Don't want to have that paunchy, horrible belly that I need to give it up. The best version of you. Yeah, exactly. I want to go out and feel confident. And then when I'm on a vacation, I'll be like, you know what? Yeah, I can to get rid of. The best version of you. Yeah, exactly. I want to go out and feel confident. And then, when I'm on a vacation, I'll be like, you know what? Yeah, I can drink and enjoy myself. I've been doing very good recently.
Starting point is 00:56:11 And then, you know... Yeah, so I'm not interested for now. What beach are you going to? I don't know which one specifically. What hotel are you staying in? It's going to... Let me pull up the address real quick. Yeah, no.
Starting point is 00:56:27 Sometimes you just have to do shit like that to try and kick it into high gear with weight loss and cutting, getting tone. I'd much prefer to drink with you guys. It's fun. But you make bad eating decisions when you drink. How cheap a motel could you find? I'm not staying in a motel because i'm going on vacation
Starting point is 00:56:47 are you telling me this place has two floors it it'll have that is multiple floors we just heard he's upbringing there well it's not the number of floors floors don't matter. Many motels are two-floor motels. It is whether or not there is anything between your room and the outside world. That is the difference between a motel and a hotel. You should walk through some sliding glass doors into a large open room, and there should be a marble desk over there with an attractive lady behind it who says, Yes, sir, would you like help with your luggage as she signs you up? Is she the one by the ice machine?
Starting point is 00:57:30 No, that's the one by the ice dealer. You get it? No, I won't even be staying in the hotel. My dad has a place there, so I'm going to stay there. Okay. Yeah. Not like I own it. Well, if your dad has a place there there you know what beach you're going to
Starting point is 00:57:47 no i don't because he's not on the beach ah yep so we'll see well what is his address then i don't even know so it's like tampa orlando uh it's it's not in Tampa, but it's around Tampa, yeah. I like it there. Yeah, I like Tampa. It's a nice city. My parents are in St. Pete. I really like that area. Yeah, I've been there like nine or ten times before.
Starting point is 00:58:16 I know a lot of people down there. Wrap it up. I don't know. Is that a wrap it up, they're dirty down there or wrap it up i was there first both i don't know what's good enough both really get that point home i don't want to leave you know the tampa area with hep k or whatever straight pile introduced to the area oh my god he's got okay we've been in an area in tampa there was an issue with it in denver a couple years back but it seems to have tied down there's no cure so i have a topic are Are you drinking tonight, Kyle? I toward the kitchen, toward my alcohol. But I feel like I would need filthy to join me or I'd feel like a real alcoholic over here to be if I'm the only.
Starting point is 00:59:13 Yeah, yeah. I certainly can twist my arm hard enough. I suppose I could. Are you getting bigger? I don't have any beer in the house right now. I've got a wine and wine and liquor. So I've got the house right now. So I would suggest the wine.
Starting point is 00:59:23 I'm gonna get a beer. All right. I haven't a glass of wine on my own volition in like four years really i like wine i can't get into it i think it tastes shitty i'd rather have beer i had wine two drinking episodes ago but if i recall correctly there were no glasses it was just straight from the bottle it was warm white wine and so you're getting the worst possible it was it i don't even know like probably like overly sweet too just like some horrible yeah it was we had a sponsor was it a pink color woody no it was regular white yeah like a chardonnay okay and uh And they would send us alcohol or something. It was a pretty interesting sponsor.
Starting point is 01:00:05 Like they were your sommelier? What is that word? Sommelier. Sommelier. Sommelier, yeah. And so they'd ask you questions like, hey, do you like steak sauce on your cake? How do you take your coffee?
Starting point is 01:00:18 And they would use these to infer which wines you might like. And they sent me a couple. And at the drinking episode, I guess I finished Kyle's best effort. And I needed more alcohol, so I just went downstairs and found it. Last time I had wine. Is that the one I was on? I think you may have been on that one. I seem to remember that.
Starting point is 01:00:40 When you said Kyle's best effort, I remember that. I was glad I didn't have that. Yeah, I don't think it would have been your cup of tea. What kind of beer do you have, Kyle? A special, fancy craft? No, no. No. Yes.
Starting point is 01:00:55 The finest cerveza de Mexico. And you don't even have a lime in it. You're not even being festive. I absolutely have a lime in there. Oh, okay. There you go. It's funny to tell you that you keep beer in the house. Because beer is like, if you're looking for an alcohol for calorie ratio, beer is like one of the worst that you can get for that. But it's so good.
Starting point is 01:01:13 I'll give it to you. Yeah, Kyle doesn't care. Kyle just will gain eight pounds and then be like, all right, first two weeks of June, I'm not eating. All right. Well, I mean, on some level, that's as simple as weight loss is it's calories in and calories out it's not like it's not we keep we keep saying that but people act like we're uh is this this is filthy over there this is filthy cheers people act like we're like uh like fat racists or something for saying that calories in calories out or is all it's about.
Starting point is 01:01:47 My thyroid. No, no. Get out of here with that. No. Unless your thyroid is that thing that Tony Stark has in his chest that creates matter and energy from nothing. It's not doing it for you. You have to put something in there to get something out. Like you're not a magician.
Starting point is 01:02:06 Let me lock you in a closet, Ice Poseidon style, and control your food intake, and you will lose weight and you will lose weight guaranteed there was an expert on joe rogan show real recently like i was gonna say this month but it's the third so probably last month and uh he was claiming that it was your hormones that determined what your body did with the calories and that when he looks at these people who are wildly obese they don't eat that much more than everybody else. And it was just yet another diet and fitness exercise on Rogan's show that doesn't line up with what I think I know about diet and fitness. That doesn't strike me as reality at all. A lot of these diet and fitness people, or at least a significant portion of them, they know they're in a business that needs to capitalize on people who want to
Starting point is 01:02:48 get the best results for the least amount of effort. And so they've probably heard all the actual advice of, you got to stop eating, you got to stop eating, you got to cut back on the eating, and they don't want to do that because they want to keep eating. And so they see someone going, hey, turns out you don't even eat much more than the average person. It's really just your body chemistry and your fetal levels or whatever the fuck they're saying. And then they go, oh, okay, this guy gets it. Maybe I'll buy his program.
Starting point is 01:03:11 Maybe I'll try his shit out. I had some friends who did some keto stuff. That was pretty good. That was pretty effective for them. And it's funny because I don't think keto is straight up, what is it, Keiko? Calories in, calories out? They're like, oh, you can eat all the bacon you want.
Starting point is 01:03:28 You can eat all this. Just stay away from your carbs. Stay away from your sugars. Well, it's an efficiency thing, right? So that's the whole trick of that is you're using a less efficient system to get your energy. So it's burning something. So you need more of that shit. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:03:41 So for people who don't know, like if you get your calories from sugar, for example, almost all of that gets converted into energy that you have to burn somehow. If you get your calories from like a protein thing, like a steak or a chicken, then your body like to get 100 calories has to spend like 30 to get 100, you know, to process that 100. That's. Yeah. I mean, I saw it on YouTube. Wants to spend carbs and then fats and then proteins for energy right something like that yeah but keto is all about getting it so that your body just gets in a cycle of only burning fat well yeah because you don't know
Starting point is 01:04:14 i looked into that for a while because i was like you know for you know when i was doing my streaming shit i'm like fuck this is getting ridiculous like i need to you know do more about this and looked into that that was one of the ways i almost went but the problem is beer is a carb and like like alcohol basically is not particularly compatible with that diet and i'm like you know it's not worth it to me i'll just go fucking work out more but pretty much every kind of alcohol is just converted to carbs in your stomach right because it's just the yeah i feel like i feel like there was a little bit more leeway with other stuff but beer was particularly bad for that. I'm not entirely sure now. It's been a couple of years since I've done anything about writing part of it.
Starting point is 01:04:48 I was just reminded again this year when a couple of my friends did it for the kind of New Year stuff and had a lot of really good results with it. I'm like, it's an interesting diet to see that. I liked the efficiency besides it. But I read some shit too that was like they don't really know yet about the long-term studies about the damage to your liver and kidneys. And I'm like, yeah, that doesn't sound exactly like i want to be like i want to damage my liver when i know i'm damaging my liver willingly that's right yeah i think it's more like maybe i'm wrong i don't think keto most of them most people do it as a lifestyle i think a lot of like most people are doing it just to like lose the weight initially right like as a diet for
Starting point is 01:05:24 a couple months i don't know a little bit of both i'm sure there's there's people who've converted to that full-time and the thing about keto and i don't know shit about it but it seems it takes a while before it like takes effect like you can't just be like oh yeah i've been on the keto diet this week it's really it's really kicking in like like yeah i think you have to be on it for like a month or two before you you uh kick into ketosis or whatever. And your body starts doing what it's supposed to do. But like jokes aside, like I mean this is like anything else that you want to do.
Starting point is 01:05:52 It's all fucking habit and repeatedly doing the stuff that you have to do for it. I mean it's like anything else. You want to make money? Do that. You want to fucking get ripped? You got to do the work for that. You want to lose weight? You got to do the work for it.
Starting point is 01:06:03 And yeah, there's exceptions for that with the people who for whatever reason can't make that happen but for the most of us that's what it is there's more than one way to skin a cat no i learn more and more i feel like i know less and less you know yeah every expert has their own opinion they come at it from different ways they all sound very educated on it they're using plenty of words i hardly know and uh yeah it's hard as a layman to discern who's making shit up and who's not yeah especially when you're getting like doing it on youtube like i'll watch one where uh like the guy's like all right when you're doing chest flies you know with dumbbells or whatever where which is like you're like like way the far way
Starting point is 01:06:41 far out holding it and like bringing it up he's like you want to just lay on the ground and do it because that you know it's you're not gonna you know strain your shoulder your elbow or like if you're on a bench you might like accidentally like go back too far and hurt yourself like just stay on the ground and like for a couple weeks when i was doing them i'm like oh okay that makes a lot of sense i'm gonna do that all right probably even like a month or more and then i watched another youtube video where the guy's like don't even think about doing it on the ground because you're not getting full extension if you don't do it on a bench where you're getting way lower you may not even bother I'm like fuck what was the last five weeks for nothing because this guy's jacked too it was a blind
Starting point is 01:07:24 profile it's just like a shadow of them, and you're like, that guy's more ripped. I'm taking his advice. Dude. Exactly. When you watch a fitness YouTuber, it's hard not to get into the idea that their body is their resume, right? And whoever's better abs is the one that knows more about this. Yeah, you're exactly right. Like if I watched – nobody – there's not a single fat person online
Starting point is 01:07:45 who's like and this is the way you want to do your bench press like no unless it's like an old wrestling coach or something you know and he has like a resume to point back to like i had to really i'm glad you mentioned the wrestling i watched rick flair's 30 for 30 the espn thing it's fucking great it doesn't matter if you if you don't like wrestling at all i don't like it i mean i i watched it when i was like five six years old with my grandpa but like that's the only connection i have with wrestling i i i i'm not into it rick flair that was fucking hilarious and uh i heard um bill burr describing it that's what made me watch it he was he was like he was, every fucking thing he'd say was like a closer.
Starting point is 01:08:28 Every five minutes, it was another closer. It was hilarious. He wakes up. He wakes up in bed with two women, and he's like, and if you don't know Ric Flair, he's got that thing. He's like, I'm a Cadillac driving, limousine riding, private jet flying, Rolex wearing, son of a gun whoa and i'm having a hard time keeping these gators down he's wearing gator boots and so he's always wearing his rolex it's a
Starting point is 01:08:56 fifteen thousand dollar rolex and he's got a bunch of them and and so he wakes up in bed with these two women he's like blacked out he doesn't know either of them he's like when he realizes his rolex is gone he's like is this real or for the show real real it's it's he's like that's the thing that little speech i gave it was all real and that's what he explains in the 30 for 30 he's like a lot of these wrestlers had like alter egos they're you know they're like the Slaughterer or like Captain Evil. He's like, I was the nature boy. I am. I was the nature boy. He's like, I am the nature boy.
Starting point is 01:09:31 That's me. He's like, if I said I was going to do a thing or if I bragged about doing a thing, I had done it the night before. So he wakes up blacked out, drunk, these two girls in bed with him. He doesn't know. He's like, where is my Rolex?
Starting point is 01:09:43 Off his keto. Off his keto. That's the thing he explained like all the alcohol you drink and he's like can you imagine what shape i'd have been in if i didn't drink he wakes up these two women blackout drunk doesn't know either he's like where is my rolex where did it go they're like you don't remember he's like no i don't remember where is my fucking watch they're like well we you threw it in the spaghetti dinner last night and said keep it i got 15 of these motherfuckers it was just one thing after another they they they follow his whole life and he's there being interviewed i want to say it's like an hour and 15 hour and 20 minutes or something like that but it was hilarious it was it was fucking great it made
Starting point is 01:10:20 me like that guy so much more real scumbagag, it seems, when it came to women. And he never paid his taxes or anything. I like that segue. It made me like him really more. That scumbag. Did you say this was on Netflix? No, no, no. So I had to sign up for the ESPN app.
Starting point is 01:10:43 Get a seven-day free trial so I could watch this and then quickly go on Amazon and cancel it after I'd watched it. But it was worth that little bit of hassle. I also watched the Andre the Giant 30 for 30, which was very, very good as well. I liked the Ric Flair one better. The Ric Flair is fucking hilarious. And his story was probably less sad because Ric Flair is still alive and Andre died at like, I don't know, 35 or something alone in a hotel room. It's a pretty sad story for Andre the Giant. But he didn't die alone in a hotel room because people were like, fuck Andre.
Starting point is 01:11:16 Like he died alone because like, you know, he was a giant and they just like die unexpectedly, you know? Yeah, yeah. Andre had two weird things, interesting things about him. He's such a gargantuan man. They literally say that he may have been one of the most prolific drinkers ever to live. Like of any human being who's ever lived, he may be the most prolific drinker. They explain the amounts of alcohol that he would imbibe. Cases of wine would be brought into the movie set. Casks, like he was a king of old. He would drink these gargantuan amounts of alcohol. And if you see his hand holding a regular 12-ounce beer, you're like, well, that makes sense because it looks like a three-ounce beer in his hand. They put his hand next to a gorilla's hand.
Starting point is 01:12:06 They're the same size. And for once, you're not fucking annoyed by a random celebrity demand, right? You know, this isn't like your M&Ms are sorted by color or something. This is a man who is enormous and wants his alcohol, and he needs it in quantity that they're not normally going to provide there. That to me is like, what a reasonable demand. Yes, of course, get him that fucking keg. We'll open a brewery right here for him you know so and yeah look at that oh my god wow that's a good photo yeah we'll get witty to show the audience that picture when he gets back they explain his standard 12 ounce yes yeah that's a molson
Starting point is 01:12:38 canadian 12 ounce can that's that guy's his poor girlfriends. They kind of alluded to his penis size at one point. They were like, hey, and the ladies loved him. Ladies loved him. You ever see that guy's hands? You know what I'm saying. And so he was apparently also one of the most prolific farters of all time. Wonderful. They explained that he could let out these 15-second gigantic farts where he would lift his leg and just ruin the whole room
Starting point is 01:13:13 with this long, rumbling fart. He would buy that beer, no doubt. He would save them up, I guess. He'd let them loose in elevators or on the movie set, like one of the most awkward, inopportune times he could possibly come up with. Well, it's because no one ever told him no. Like people on the plane would like hear it and be like,
Starting point is 01:13:32 Oh, who, who? Oh, I mean, that was one of the sad things on the plane. Well, you know,
Starting point is 01:13:40 he, he, he would fly back and forth Japan frequently because of the wrestling shows there. Long flight, I think 16 hours or something crazy like that. He can't go in the bathroom. He can't go in the bathroom. He would have to go up near the bathroom, piss in a coffee can, and the stewards would have to dump it into the toilet.
Starting point is 01:13:58 Can you imagine the power of a stream of 100 cans of beer going into a coffee can? Oh, my God. Just everyone on the plane knows. You only brought two cans. All right, passengers. Andre's coming to the back door of the bathroom, which means we're going to take up about 100 more feet of elevation. Make sure we balance this out.
Starting point is 01:14:21 Andre, leave those pee cans at the back to help balance out the weight of the cargo. I mean, this is like, you got to think of that stream again if you're talking to like he's peeing in something there's got to be a probably a moment where he's got to transfer the stream from one to the other and I doubt a man of his like I doubt a man of his like wealth and stature is going to stop that's just going to be on you as the stewardess whose job it is today you got to get that fucking thing swapped real quick or you're cleaning it up right so new girl's first day she's on full just like where's that oh you'll see yeah i guess he fathered like an illegitimate daughter and i don't know why but i i was like maybe she's pretty maybe she's a maybe she's a giantess are you looking at the same photo i'm looking at look i i just i just said I don't know why.
Starting point is 01:15:05 But in my head, I was like, maybe she's pretty. Maybe she's like an Amazon lady. Maybe she looks like Diana. Maybe she looks like fucking Wonder Woman over here. She looks like him. She looks just like him. Same habits, too, the farting in the beers oh exactly the same left his entire estate to her she's been drinking it away for the last 25 years she was a real
Starting point is 01:15:34 unattractive young lady and and i don't you know it's not her fault you know it's not like she did anything to to exacerbate the situation you could tell she was just born with, there she is. There she is. Oh, man. That's rough. Because you have to look at your dad and be like, no matter how hard I work, I'm still going to be 6'8".
Starting point is 01:15:57 However tall she is. And be gigantic. I wonder how big her hands are. They look pretty giant, too. I bet her clit's bigger than your cock look at her look at her she didn't even like joke around trying to like be feminine at all she's too sweet that's a fucking riot i would love i can imagine hearing that in person somewhere too like that that is not out of the like out of the realm of possibility for having that shouted at someone and like imagine it was what would be like what would be the response like well i mean i i'm sure there's some ladies who would be on board to to get fucked with an enormous clit
Starting point is 01:16:35 you know um i've i've i've seen my share of pornography and i've seen some big ones like i've definitely seen some clitorises that are like a pinky size, like some terrifyingly large clitorises. Hopefully God was fair and at least made her a lesbian. You would hope that. Or maybe you find a guy who's just super into it. Like, some guys are into weird stuff, right? Like, you know, I'm sure there's guys who are like, oh, I just want to suck that clit. I just want to suck that little baby clit you got, that baby you got coming at your pussy baby finger yeah you think she'd like that description
Starting point is 01:17:10 in the middle of it baby dick yeah i one time uh told a girl that her clit was like a commander in a bunker and she really did not like that really how did that come up yeah come over here officer oh yeah i can imagine a baby's pinky as a description for a woman's clit her really not enjoying that yeah no i don't think it and it looks awesome i'm just looking at this picture trying to pick out more things look at the size of her hands. She's holding that pen incorrectly for one. Look at those mitts. That doesn't help anything. Those are some big, fat mitts.
Starting point is 01:17:51 And then her teeth, you know. Well, she's got braces, right? I can't see in this one. Yeah, I think that or her teeth are sort of bluish green. Either one is a possibility. Oh, they may be braces. Well, I mean, we're looking at that anyways. Would he have this up as a photo for the viewers, or we need to describe it a little bit more?
Starting point is 01:18:05 How does that work? Yeah, he will have it up for them. He looks like Andre the Giant. Well, I mean, she's clearly gone out of her way to be a little bit alternative, right? She has both like chest tattoos and full sleeves on both sides. So it might be deliberate, the coloring. And she's got the extended ear, whatever they are, the gauges. What am I trying to say?
Starting point is 01:18:23 I don't know what those are called. Yeah. But, yeah. So, I mean, clearly she? I don't know what those are called. Yeah. But, yeah. So, I mean, clearly she's gone out of her way to be alternative. Yeah. And that might be your defense. If you are so, like, not attractive and, like, the kind of classical, like, standard definition of what a female is, an attractive female looks like,
Starting point is 01:18:41 that might be one of the ways you fucking get around that is you don't identify that way whatsoever to kind of be like because that's this is gonna be shitty you're gonna be comparing yourself to people you will never look like and that makes sense like she can never conform there's no way she can conform to standard gender norms i mean look look what she's wearing there it's like i'm gonna describe it to the audience like like all right first of all audience picture the butchest lesbian you can okay all right now open your eyes i'm guessing she was wearing a red flannel t-shirt a red flannel button up with a denim jacket over it shaved head possibly dyed pink right that's definitely dyed pink yeah that's exactly what
Starting point is 01:19:21 she's wearing it's exactly what she's wearing the same shirt that John Goodman always wears in Roseanne. She looks like him. It looks like she's cosplaying as John Goodman. She just came home from work, hoping Roseanne cooked him up some good dinner. You know, that show's back on the air, right? Roseanne has made a comeback. Apparently it is. I haven't watched it because I didn't even watch the old show.
Starting point is 01:19:43 I was thinking about checking it out because I like John Goodman so much, but I don't think it's going to be the John Goodman I like a lot. Maybe I'm wrong. But apparently it is like the most popular show on TV right now. Yeah. People are watching the hell out of it. Woody, would you mind showing the audience these last couple of images that we've shown of Andre the Giant's daughter?
Starting point is 01:20:00 Yep. Minus the financial element of being like born into a family where your your parent was like amazingly successful or something i would hate every moment of that it'd be like the worst fucking thing ever to be fighting your way out from a shadow of someone who you're probably nothing want to be nothing like but yeah gonna be relentlessly compared to like i i you know i'm glad for this woman she looks at you know she's grinning in both these photos she's totally gone her own way in that. Congratulations to her.
Starting point is 01:20:26 But fuck, that would suck. Like, especially if you're like the opposite. I mean, he's a he is like a Viking. Like, he's this huge, like massive, like bigger than life man with all the things that go along with that. And she's a woman. And that's that's got to be even like fucking twice as hard for that. And that kind of comparison of what they're going to compare her to. I mean, look at this.
Starting point is 01:20:44 No one has mentioned her mother. And maybe, as as you said like this is this is a legitimate child so in that sense maybe we don't know the mother but yeah if we do no one said a fucking word about that right because i i get that it sucks to have her body type right and the whole world is gonna not cut you any slack why does it suck to be the offspring of a celebrity because you're always fighting you're to be yourself you're always being compared to that of what your parent or your father or whatever that figure was that you're always going to be compared to them as opposed to whatever or whoever you are and that seems to me like a really fucking shitty thing to have to have over like on your shoulders from the
Starting point is 01:21:21 get-go yeah nobody ever thinks like oh that's jessica she does this with her life she does that it's always oh that's jessica uh andre's daughter the giant's daughter yeah and then every conversation is probably starting with what was he like what was that like could he really drink a thousand beers in a weekend or whatever just like him double-edged yeah that one's not good're going to catch a big hit to the face. It'll be hers. Can I try to slam you like Hogan? Come on. I don't want to throw your back at you. You couldn't slam her.
Starting point is 01:21:52 So I'm thinking about what Filthy said and if it's good or bad, right? So if I'm Michael Jordan's son and I'm anything but the best basketball player to have ever lived, Filthy's 100 right if i'm who plays thor chris hemsworth you probably it's not even probably basketball it's probably any you're now probably compared as athletic or not you know he's not as athletic as his dad his dad could do that his dad could you know play baseball his dad could you know play play basketball his dad was amazing in this sport in this sport in that sport like you never get under it i feel like you know if you're tom cruise's son all you are is just child of royalty you're rich you're famous for nothing well i mean you're probably you're probably chased your entire
Starting point is 01:22:39 life there's probably you know uh paparazzi from the get-go you're probably not able to socialize normally you're probably you know putting socialize normally. You're probably reserved from interacting with these people. You've got to deal with the fact your dad's a fucking nutjob. So you're dealing with all of that kind of stuff. I don't want any part of that. Some problems are saved. Just to think about it,
Starting point is 01:22:58 if you could be Tom Cruise's son, that means that you're financially set for life and your kids are financially set for life. your kids are financially set for life, right? Not having to worry about money is a major thing not to worry about. But it's not on your terms. It's not like you are financially set.
Starting point is 01:23:14 It's you are dependent on your father and your father is going to dictate exactly how that is and you're going to have that fucking over your head. I'm sure that never comes up, right? You know, you've done nothing with your life. You're not going to get this money or, you know, however that's going to go across the course of that. Have you been audited this week?
Starting point is 01:23:30 I saw a documentary and Trump's kids were in it, but there were a lot of like super wealthy kids in it. And they were just sort of telling the truth about what it was like to be born into that kind of wealth. And one of them described himself as a kept man meaning like all his decisions every everything was determined by that lure of cash like you yeah i need you to go to college or there's you get cut off you know this is the car this is the behavior you know oh did you go out drinking at 19 you're risking getting cut off it's it. It's the stick they use for all his behavior.
Starting point is 01:24:07 It's like if you were born into that amount of money, it's not like you were poor and then came into money where you appreciate it more. You can see that even with normal people who were born poor and they become multimillionaires and they'll still be carefully looking at prices, buying great value stuff at Walmart because they understand the value of that dollar
Starting point is 01:24:24 and they don't want to fritter it away. But this, it's not like they ever thought there was a threat of not having money. I think you would just build resentment because you'd be like, oh, I'm going to go out and do this with friends. Oh, well, no, you can't do that. We have to pass that through our PR firm, our family PR firm first to make sure that everything's hunky dory with that party. Do we know all the research of the people who are going to be there? You know, do we think TMZ is going to pop up? Like, I feel like after time, that money thing doesn't even enter your head and you're just more resentful of not being able to be a regular kid everybody earns it in one way or another like i uh i own
Starting point is 01:24:54 facebook and uh there's a woman on my facebook friend she's really liberal and she found like a i don't know eight second video of trump not being a gentleman to Melania. Maybe he didn't hold the door or didn't hold her hand or something like that. Anyway, her comment was, oh, sweetheart, when you marry for money, you earn every penny of it, right? And forget that it's a political thing. I was just like, wow, I bet that's true. I bet that's true. I bet when you marry into money, there's a power imbalance in that relationship that's always there. Or when you're born into money,
Starting point is 01:25:30 there's a power imbalance in that relationship that, like we said before, you're a kept man. You have to do what your father wants you to do or you're fucked. I don't know about you, but I get along really well with my parents now but when i was when i was 18 and ready to move out of my house i was not getting on well with my parents at all and i was so glad and i remain glad of the fact that part of my growing up was
Starting point is 01:25:55 to be able to be like fuck you i don't care like if you're gonna keep dictating if you want this on your terms i will just ignore your terms and make it and do my own thing with that and it you know thankfully nothing ever came of that again i'm very well with my parents, etc. But if you have that kind of literally those millions of dollars hanging over your head, where you can't say that, because you think they're, because they're going to cut you off or cut you out of the will, whatever it happens to be, Jesus, does that change the relationship? Because I mean, what other what other power do you have as a child to a parent than just literally denial of presence? Because what else can you do?
Starting point is 01:26:26 You have no other thing over them. Yeah. So I don't know. As that rich kid, you couldn't even rebel as much as a normal kid. Yeah. Because I guarantee that PR thing I said isn't just a joke. When they want to go out and hang out with friends or do whatever, it's like a research process depending on how famous they are like you think will smith's kids can just go hang out at a local like teen party like i if they do i feel like there's going to be like a handler or someone someone close by
Starting point is 01:26:53 like they'll have to know exactly the details of the party like you would feel so tethered down i feel like if but then again i don't know any celebrity kids and i'm not one so it feels like a lot of this is it gets that's because there's pr that keeps you from them yeah or rather they're around around your own type of people like i could see this being you know like as you're raised you're raised with other people who are dealing with the same type of bullshit that you are so those are the type of people that are safe to be friends with in terms of you know your parents are going to let you hang out dismiss probably let you hang out with you know name whatever ever actor that's doing well or actress
Starting point is 01:27:26 that's doing well style thing. It's very interesting. It is. I've never really given that much thought to it. Chiz, would you find that shark attack video that's making the rounds right now while I do this ad read? Was this like a new thing added to Ice Poseidon's
Starting point is 01:27:41 closet? No. I wish. I would love that if it were like... Oh, no, I like that. They all get into a... No, no, no. They all start in the shark tank, and the last one out wins. It's just like that. It's the shark you're saying.
Starting point is 01:27:57 Well, the shark's gonna win for sure. This episode of PKA is sponsored by our friends over at Squarespace. Whether you need a domain, website, or online store, make your next move to Squarespace. With easy-to-use tools, you can create a beautiful website with Squarespace's all-in-one platform. There's nothing to install, patch, or upgrade ever. You can create a beautiful website or online store with an award-winning template. Squarespace's award-winning templates are the most beautiful way to present your ideas online.
Starting point is 01:28:20 Squarespace also offers a unique domain experience that's fully transparent and simple to set up. They're trusted by millions of people and some of the most respected brands in the world. Squarespace is used by a wide range of creatives and people, including musicians, designers, artists, restaurants, and more. Everybody needs their own corner of the internet today. So get started and start your free trial today at squarespace.com slash pka to get 10% off your first purchase. That's squarespace.com slash pka. Begin the next move in your career today with Squarespace. Check them out yeah what are you talking about shark what now yeah yeah let's see did you find that
Starting point is 01:28:54 shark attack video that you want to do a topic in between or this can't take forever right shark attack what happened to just get on it now he says Get on it now. This is your job. He says he'll get it. Yeah, what? I've got it. I've got it. Look at this. I beat Chiz to this. But can you copy paste it?
Starting point is 01:29:12 Well, I... I don't see it yet. Come on, Chiz. Don't give up. I'm timestamping it. Or I was going to. But now I'm just... Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 01:29:23 He's got it in there. Nice. I love that Chiz won. I like going to. But now I'm just... Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. He's got it in there. Nice. I love that you just won. I like that. Damn. It's just me. Maybe I'm a dick. And he did time stamp it.
Starting point is 01:29:32 What time are we starting? Yeah, it says... He says, but not this time. Okay, this one. Ooh. Is this the time stamp we want to start on? The second video is the one we want to start on. Oh, thank you for that.
Starting point is 01:29:42 31 seconds? Yeah. All right. So we're watching this together as a plan? Yeah. Yes. I saw the other timestamp and... This is gonna be worth it. Are we starting?
Starting point is 01:29:54 Is everyone ready? 3, 2, 1, play. There's a man swimming with sharks, speaking in what might be Latin. Latin. This seems pool hardy. There's a shark highlighted to his right. It's coming in hot. Woo!
Starting point is 01:30:35 It took a chunk. Oh! It took a chunk! This is concerning. Oh, you can see his skin. There's a giant flap of skin. If I read the Latin below correctly, he said, shit, he bit me. Holy smokes! Oh, God, his bicep is just really, really deep.
Starting point is 01:30:54 A giant flap of skin, and it's not just skin. There's some flashing muscle there, too. Oh, yeah. Although you can see the scar better now. Holy shit. What did you think was gonna happen? They just swim. Why was he fucking doing that? Exactly. He was trying to make peace with Sharkkind.
Starting point is 01:31:16 He is our ambassador to the shark. Philby's a little sharkist if he thinks they're all like that. And Taylor too. I was taking a black widow bath, and I was shocked when I had to go to the hospital with the crosis. Like, no, you're prejudging sharks way harder than I prejudged Italians.
Starting point is 01:31:34 Yes, he should be treated. I think he should be thrown into the sea. What? Not actually. But I mean, you are when you jump into a Not actually. But I mean, you are... When you jump into a... A POP! Now they're like, alright, it's really go time.
Starting point is 01:31:52 Let's film it as we drive very quickly in our powerboat. What the fuck were they doing? They were swimming with sharks! Why? To get footage! He's a TV presenter. What? Sharks fighting people.
Starting point is 01:32:04 Okay, but this is the intended outcome then? Because... footage he's a TV what shark fighting people yes I mean actually the the possibility of this was the intended outcome this was just one of the possible outcomes I like the native guy didn't look surprised at all I remember This is what happened. These white folks... Oh, you're the idiot who went to the boat to go swim with the sharks. I remember you. Oh, this guy speaks English. He must understand Latin. Oh, God. Oh, that's terrible.
Starting point is 01:32:36 Okay, that's terrible. I love his bedside manner. How bad is it? Oh, yeah, that's not good. You have to go back to Miami. I have to go back to Miami. Yeah I have to go back to my ammo. You can see the little serrations above the main bite
Starting point is 01:32:50 where the teeth just tore into them. Oh my god, the doctor said oh my god, that's terrible. We need to call a helicopter. Do you guys have insurance? Oh no! America is not a good place to get bit with no insurance. Wowzers!
Starting point is 01:33:12 Goddamn! They just showed the wound a little more. It looks like a roast beef sandwich. It's busted open. Fuck! Are we done with that? Yeah, we're done. I heard rogue shark somewhere in there. Fuck. Are we done with that? Yeah, we're done.
Starting point is 01:33:30 I heard rogue shark somewhere in there, if I understand my Latin correctly. That, to me, is a shark who's right on course. I was going to say, what do you mean, rogue shark? What are sharks known for normally? Just, like, posing and having a conversation? Like, this was the one bad one that bit you? It would be a rogue dolphin, maybe. Nobody talks about the nine sharks that didn't attack there were like 10 circling him nine of them were friendly uh yeah i don't know you ever had that
Starting point is 01:33:53 like i had a i had a i was a broad uh probably like 10 years ago now and i got a staph infection while i was over there just like started a little tiny red bump on my toe yeah didn't think anything of it i got worse and worse like harder to walk up back into the states and like finally got it looked at you know and they had me and it was you know i was on crutches from this it started as like it looked like a little tiny dot on my toe little red dot and uh part of what the treatment was for is you know the foot the foot swelled and the leg started swelling and uh i had to irrigate the pus out of the out of the toe how does one do that? This is weird as fuck because they basically give you like a little – almost like a squirt gun, but it's not quite that.
Starting point is 01:34:30 And you squirt water into it fairly aggressively and blow chunks of it out. And it's like – it's not like pus as you think like popping a zit pus or something. This is like – it's like a thick paste almost. And it's like a thick paste almost and it's like connected to itself and you're looking at your foot and you've just blown this like thing like the size of your pinky out of your foot and you're looking at the hole that's in your foot where that was and you're like what the fuck and that's what i'm getting when i look at that when we're just watching that that is because you know you're talking like your arm open and like as we're saying that your total arm open you can see the layers of
Starting point is 01:35:05 flesh and the layers of your and that's what it was like looking at my foot when i was doing that and i just remember being like you know you normally think of things like if you have some sort of injury you're like my body will cover that i just need time and rest and whatever it's like one of those ones you're like nope time and rest ain't gonna cover this one i'm gonna need something else for that what do you have any lasting effects from that? No. No. That is, I mean, I got a scar on my toe. Caught it early enough. That's good. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:35:28 Yeah. But, like, it was disturbing in that moment to see, like, holes in your flesh. Yeah. Like, that would have been the part that if I were that guy. I mean, he was taking it pretty calmly. Who knows? Shock. Maybe the guy who jumps in with sharks maybe has thought about what would happen if he got bit.
Starting point is 01:35:43 maybe the guy who jumps in with sharks maybe has thought about what would happen if he got bit but like that would be the part if i were him like looking at my arm and seeing the layers of like the inside of my arm and chunks of that missing that would be disturbing to me oh you can't look you can't look i wouldn't look i i i made you a shark to be like yeah i don't know i don't really want to look at it i always look you know what's funny is like like if i was watching like what's making me judge this more is that he was clearly a guy like jumping in to be like i'm gonna teach about sharks and shit like if that was your main thing then you should be wearing some armor or something but if it had been like steve-o being like welcome to jackass this is the shark jacuzzi and he like jumped in there whatever and
Starting point is 01:36:22 then he got attacked i'd be like oh man what a hoot like he knew what was he was getting into like he went in there knowing he was going to get bit this guy like how i don't trust him teaching me any facts about sharks he didn't even know enough to know that they eat meat earlier like your trainers you can see his profile his profile's got an arm with a chunk out of it you're like not a shark teacher yeah right that's his resume ruined exactly i'm your shark guide no you're not let me find a scarless person can we all admit though that was a badass scar i was i bet he would go back in time and change it i like the ones above it more like the scraping scraping things. They're going to be good.
Starting point is 01:37:07 Oh, we did see it. Yeah, I'm crazy. Yeah, that was a badass scar. This is a pro-insurance video is what this is. This has nothing to do with sharks. He's not teaching shit. This is at the end of it. Always pay your insurance bills. Kaiser Permanente. Before you go shark swimming, have a good HMO. I mean,
Starting point is 01:37:24 Chiz, can you find more animals attacking nature experts? Like, the more gruesome, the better. And the more foolhardy they are, the better. I like the ones where they do stuff like they'll, like a jackass, like slap the top of a cobra's head and then get tagged. And it's like, you were asking for that so much. So much. Speaking of animal experts who were asking for it,
Starting point is 01:37:51 have you seen Steve Irwin's daughter? No. She is thick as fuck. She's looking, Bindi's looking nice. Bindi? Looking great, yeah? Yeah. I want to tell you that for Roy for roy thinking in a bowl of oatmeal yeah
Starting point is 01:38:09 i'm not quick enough for this there's got to be a fucking stingray tail joke in there somewhere right this has got to be like i'd tag it with a tail you know like there's got to be some something in there i wish i was just a little bit faster on that yeah how long ago did he die like 12 years ago or something as long long as that? I remember that. It was a long time ago because that was the first celebrity death, I think, that when it happened, it wasn't just like whatever. 12 years, I got it pretty close. I was like, oh, that sucks.
Starting point is 01:38:37 How old is she? She's old enough. Like 16 old enough or 18 old enough? Like a conversation you have a lot? You're just like, I'll get right to the heart of the issue. Don't worry, Woody. You're fine. Bindi Irwin is 19.
Starting point is 01:38:55 Kyle is right. Old enough. I'm going to turn 20 next month, so happy early birthday to Bindi Irwin. Did you see what looks like a man sitting in a chair with a giant fucking fan on you coming your way? Just run. Oh, man. I went to her Twitter. It looks like she
Starting point is 01:39:19 followed her father into the animal life. Good for them. Seems like a happy family based on this Twitter profile picture. She's learning the weaknesses of stingrays now at this point.
Starting point is 01:39:36 This is vindictive in nature. That's what motivated her animal interest. It could. Now she's like an animal like a Dexter. She only kills the bad ones. She watched that same video. interest it could now she's like a an animal like a dexter she only kills the bad ones yeah she watched that same video that shark has been tagged and that shark is mounted in her fucking house somewhere that'd be pretty cool that would be chiz definitely look up people getting attacked by animals let me go to my favorites well what kind of animal what kind
Starting point is 01:40:04 of animal attack are you are you thinking here because i prefer it if it's land-based because the water terrifies me um and i like it if the person is more foolhardy than just going about like some sort of activity that i could see myself doing yeah i like it when they're they get it out of negligence or out of foolishness like i don't want to see some kid enjoying their day at the beach and getting attacked that's not fun no i want a guy who's surprised by the attack who thought he knew all there was to know about hippopotamuses and then watch the guy who did the uh like the world's like like most painful sting stuff and he did a number of watches him so every so often i'm forced to it's yeah. I have a hard time distinguishing the pain levels.
Starting point is 01:40:47 You know, he gets stung by a bee and he's like, oh my God, that's the worst thing ever. And then he gets stung by some like Mexican red bee or whatever the fuck he gets stung by. And now that's the worst pain ever. And then he gets bit by a termite. The Mexican red bee. I like that made up. That's great. It sounds real.
Starting point is 01:41:06 Just every one is more painful than the last, it seems. I feel like he just has a bad pain memory. I've watched every one of those sting videos multiple times. Really? Yeah, I've watched all of them. Do you agree with my analysis? I feel like he differentiates well. He's got a pain scale.
Starting point is 01:41:27 And maybe a way to deal with pain. If you're doing this for a living and you're getting on YouTube and you're having a fucking bullet ant, whatever it is. I don't know if it's a bite or a sting, whatever it is. You probably get real good on figuring out what physically you do to deal with pain. Because that might be like a whole roll on the ground and pap it five times if i'm getting bit by bullet ants for a living i'm there like oh motherfucker i wish i was good at video games yeah but he's getting 20 million views for that sting yeah but that ninja dude who was the guy on cnbc oh uh that's ninja yeah okay. He's the main one. 20 million views.
Starting point is 01:42:06 What is that? 40 grand? That's a slow day for that poor guy. I made that up. Yeah. But you have to remember that like with video series like that, you get so much like one view is really like six views because you're going to go, fuck, I want to see the porcupine fuck him up.
Starting point is 01:42:22 I want to see him get bit by a turtle and i don't think that stuff ages like this isn't like you know but the algorithm does like even though even though i'm with you the video will be just as good eight years from now the algorithm won't know i think but i just think there's a huge tail on popular videos i think it like the good ones are gonna give you that income for ages to come. That's true. I mean, it's certainly better than video games. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:42:50 Yeah. And now video games are just streaming. I'm out of the game. I don't know. But it seems like YouTube isn't where they butter their bread anymore. They have to go on Twitch. And the downside of Twitch is you don't stream today. You barely make a dime today.
Starting point is 01:43:05 Yeah. I don't know. It's both. I like watching a lot of YouTube content of streamers, right? Like you can sit there and watch the stream all day, but I don't really do that very much. I watch a lot of Shrouds. I don't watch Shrouds stream.
Starting point is 01:43:23 I watch Shrouds YouTube videos. I don't watch Aculite stream. I watch Shroud's YouTube videos. I don't watch Aculite's stream. I watch Aculite's YouTube videos. Because it's his best 30 minutes of maybe three days. And Shroud's best 30 minutes over three days is incredible. It's a great, great YouTube video. Taylor, were you trying to say something? Oh, I was saying that one that Kyle linked is good but it's like
Starting point is 01:43:46 12 minutes so I was watching it to try and figure out like a good place to jump in I misunderstood so Taylor wrote in the chat I'm trying to find a good spot to jump in and I interpreted that as I can't get a word in edge wise
Starting point is 01:44:01 sorry I articulated that poorly I was meaning your video's pretty long and I know we can't do that so I was trying to find a good spot. A lot of these people, Kyle, aren't like asking for it. Oh, this guy is.
Starting point is 01:44:14 We found a time stamp. That moment. I want to find a good, let me make sure this culminates. You know who's really asking for it? Matadors. When I see a Matador. Oh, everybody for it matadors when i see a matador
Starting point is 01:44:25 everybody roots against them when i see a they really torture those bulls to death down there so when i see a matador get like gored terribly to death preferably i good good for the bull he got one is that still done anywhere yeah yeah absolutely i think it's big in spain yeah when i went to Spain, they were ending it. Did they bring it back? Oh, I have no idea. I figured Spain would keep that going. Yeah, I mean, they're pretty
Starting point is 01:44:55 barbaric over there. You know what they do to those poor Moroccan people, right? Who just want their rights? Yeah, they make them fight bulls. That's century into Spain. anyone the bulls don't get there allowed in man they stuff five moroccans into a bull skin they put him out that's what it is that bull speaks spanish she has uh she's a sp Spanish. Do they still do that thing where they throw animals off of the towers
Starting point is 01:45:28 and just watch them splat onto the cobblestone below? Like goats and... You don't know about this? That's a way more humane way to kill an animal than to just kind of stab it for points or whatever they're doing in the matador ring. Perhaps that true but yeah yeah you know you people you you people i mean that in the most racist way possible you throw like goats and chickens and pigs and stuff off of those towers and just they just splat for the crowd to watch right you know i'll find some
Starting point is 01:46:00 video of it you try to deny it tell me that's when you try to deny it. Tell me the search terms you use, because I'm really curious. You people, towers, animals. Spain. Splat. Go throwing. That's what I'm typing in. Okay. I found one of a giant camel stomping around on a bunch of people in a crowded marketplace
Starting point is 01:46:21 and fucking, I don't know. That was the precursor to van and truck killing. Here's what I got. Here's what I got. That was the camel. They ride a camel quickly into a crowd. These goddamn camel terrorists. What do we do about rental camels?
Starting point is 01:46:37 Oh, you thought my description was crutches? It's literally throwing animals off of towers. The name of the article is Goat Throwing Festival in Spain. And this is on gofortravelblog.com, so I trust it entirely. They've tried to find a photogenic goat. Very photogenic. Wrench the heart spring. Are you guys watching a video?
Starting point is 01:47:00 No. I clicked on the article that Kyle linked. And then hopefully for us american viewers they've linked us to the to to where spain is in the world so we can find that on google maps it's very very thoughtful i bullfighting is legal in spain it's just a little part of it that it's not legal it seems yeah yeah yeah bullfighting is real fucked up you found found this on the Go4Travel blog, Kyle. Yeah. What else do they have on there? The five things you must see in the world.
Starting point is 01:47:34 Goats being hurled from towers. I've seen them do it, Chiz. Look, maybe this is a different ceremony. Maybe you guys have lots of ceremonies there where you throw animals in various ways sometimes you catch them sometimes you don't but i've seen one where they're literally thrown off of like church bell towers by the dozens like all sorts of farm animals are they like miked up and is there like a goat like a drone with a go-cam fucking following them or whatever the hell it is like you know like how do they do this do they really get into it is there production value in this or they're like no production value it's it's
Starting point is 01:48:07 very medieval it's very medieval it's like charlotte's web but a smut film it just every animal you can imagine being being tossed off of a high tower and just splattering on the cobblestone below it's it's fucked sorry i was looking up another animal video that i just linked but uh did you say what the purpose of the goat throwing is? Just kind of kill time? Fertility. For the goat? Does that work?
Starting point is 01:48:31 That's foolish of me. Does it work? None of the goats we are throwing up. Or I went to Middle Eastern. We would never waste a good breeding goat. Never waste a good breeding goat. Never waste a good breeding goat. And you know what that guy means by that. Yes, it means I will have sex with him.
Starting point is 01:48:51 He started out in the Middle East, making his way towards Kenya. What are those condoms called? Sheepskin condoms. Right? Cut out the middleman, leave it right in the sheep, use it there. There's no excuse for sheepskin condoms anymore. We're in the sheep. Use it there. There's no excuse for sheepskin condoms anymore. We're in current year. You know?
Starting point is 01:49:09 It's gross. This will make this video age a little better. When you see those at, like, CVS, don't you always wonder, like, who's buying these? People with latex sensitivities. I thought there were other options other than goat intestine. There absolutely are. Yeah, I use a I use skin SKY in those are non latex. They will melt if you use certain kinds of lubricant
Starting point is 01:49:38 Get up to like 120 rpm And if you do it melts, that's how you know how hardcore they are about their products you know how they use pig intestine for like the casing of sausages yeah yeah could you use that goat skin condom and just fill it with meat and then tie it off on the end and make a sausage oh my god someone tell ice Poseidon to do that. No, that's all the food that's allowed in this 24-hour closet challenge. It's just like three
Starting point is 01:50:12 sausages aging in the closet which they probably wouldn't even blink at twice because it's Ice's fucking closet. But no, that's a sheepskin condom that all that meat's been put in. Pay no attention to the reservoir tip. If the sausage tastes like spermicide ignore that yeah that's a good one and that's also a great question kyle obviously we're not savages you would cut off the rubber bit or whatever on the end you know the grippy part not rubber it's
Starting point is 01:50:40 sheepskin the the oh i don't i've never used of those. I assume they still had something at the bottom. Is it just sheepskin? What do you mean you've never used one? No one uses those. Those aren't a thing anymore. That was a thing. That's not a thing. They still make them.
Starting point is 01:50:56 You can buy them at the drugstore. No way. Seriously? Yes. You can go to the family planning section at Walgreens or CPS. You can see them. So my wife came up for I guys know what an IUD is? So my wife came up for IUD recently.
Starting point is 01:51:07 She's changing. It's been like however many years it's been for that. And we went through a period of time where it's back to condoms. And I got to say, it's been a while and fuck, do I fucking hate condoms. So the idea that I could have been there
Starting point is 01:51:17 and I could have been browsing my condom options and you're telling me that my Walgreens just isn't really like, isn't really with it. There just wasn't a Sheepsend condom section of my Walgreens. Are they not with it or extra with it? I'm not sure. Like if they're missing condoms from the 1600s, does that
Starting point is 01:51:32 really make them not with it? Oh my god. Yeah, that's gross. Chiz is right. He's like they sell out. They have one guy who snipes them. I bet that is what it is. There's one dude out there, you know, who's got a chick that won't get an IUD or anything, and she's latex sensitive. So he has to just fuck her with goat
Starting point is 01:51:50 intestine. Even regular condoms suck. That's probably even a level lower. I don't think sheets are bred for intestinal sensitivity. Extra thin sheets. And it's like, she is just living in constant pain
Starting point is 01:52:07 I have IBS this is a crap year of the condom sheep of course this is a crap year of the condom world someone's in there like this is artisimal sheep gut and like this is like you go in and you choose your sheep ahead of time you raise it from a small baby sheep until you can slaughter it and finally use its intestinesom use this use its intestines what is this like kobo steak i know the sheep it could
Starting point is 01:52:30 i'd feel more comfortable raising you want to know it's raised it had a good life you pay it extra like you instead of like sponsoring a child in africa you sponsor your sheep for your like you know your sheep intestine condom that's coming out of this. You died for subpar sex with a condom. I couldn't feel anything. You'd probably have to name it, too. What would you name a sheep raised to be a condom? Oh, Jimmy. Jimmy's good.
Starting point is 01:52:56 I like it. Richard? Yeah, that's a good one. Kyle, no sheep names. You killed it with Jimmy. That was the one Jimmy is the winner Yeah
Starting point is 01:53:08 Oh let's watch The Crocodile Death Roll I'm sure you guys have seen it because this is a classic in the animal fight world This is like Animal Fights 101 On YouTube It's fantastic It's pretty short I think I have seen this is this crocodile death roll that's
Starting point is 01:53:26 what i'm looking quick enough yes yes it's brutal so and they have it on animal planet's youtube channel uncut are you guys ready why this is here like do we have do i have context for this was like uh it appears to be in like thailand crocodile bites down on a man's arm and performs a death roll during a routine stunt in this clip from Animal Planet's Untamed and Uncut. There's a possibility to be bit by a crocodile. It's not routine. Anyway, okay, let's go.
Starting point is 01:53:53 Ready, set, play. Alright. Alright, the guy's in his cute little jumpsuit, and he's about, he's poking the animal. I can't stand this fucking commentator. He's putting his hand into the mouth of the alligator. Oh! about his point of me didn't I can't stand this fucking commentator putting his hand into the mouth of the alligator the asking for trouble maneuver this crocodiles mouth is I'm gonna guess well this is a small Thai man so maybe his
Starting point is 01:54:18 proportions are a bit difficult to get Andre no- It's mouth is like as long as your- I don't know. Two feet? It looks huge. It looks huge. Now it looks smaller. Now his mouth is just slapping the top of it. And I think that probably-
Starting point is 01:54:34 I'd say the crocodile doesn't care for that. It says this crocodile is not strictly trained. Look at him. He's jabbing it in the mouth with a stick. Wait, a killing machine that has existed in basically the same form for millions of years is not particularly well trained? You don't say. Oh no. Look, he shook the water off.
Starting point is 01:54:51 That's a smart maneuver. He splashed it several times. Is it the croc will give a fuck? Well, if the croc feels the water dripping there, then it will bite him. That's why he shook the water off. He splashed it like from the little river nearby. It was earlier. I really hope we don't get close up to this guy's hand after this.
Starting point is 01:55:11 Oh, it's not just his hand, my friend. Oh! Oh, no! Oh, no! Did you see that arm? I watched the crocodile twist at a different rotation than that guy twisted. Which means something didn't work. He immediately starts spinning.
Starting point is 01:55:26 His arm is shattered. His arm's gone. It's just totally, totally shattered. Oh, it was awful, folks. I gotta say, the shark bit down on his arm. Alright, so first of all, earlier he was fucking with the shark, and the shark closed its mouth. Crocodile. But it was just fucking with him.
Starting point is 01:55:45 The crocodile. But it was just fucking with him. There's a crocodile. But it was just fucking with him because in the test bite, it just went chomp. Like this soft little slow bite. When he actually stuck his arm in there, it shut like a vice at the speed of light. And then it like fucking jumped.
Starting point is 01:56:00 I didn't even know. I know they did death rolls, but I assumed that was like in the water or something. I didn't realize that this athleticallyically they could just do a full fucking 360 flip off the ground but you don't think of a crocodile like that you know it's just like dude i can't roll over in bed that well and he had a guy's arm in his mouth yeah but the part that blows okay from that oh funny part is the guy rotates at a different speed than the crocodile that's how you know you're fucked that's how you're like mentally like watching that you're like yeah i wasn't sure how bad it was until i
Starting point is 01:56:28 watched the replay and saw that i was rotating at a pace of one revolution per x seconds the crocodile was going three revolutions at the same fucking time period with the arm clamped and you see at the end like like right before it cuts you can see pretty much the whole area like right above the elbow is shattered and pointing in a totally different direction. It's like if you took a rigid thing of saltines and then you just went
Starting point is 01:56:54 and then like you could twist it and move it around. It's just silly putty and paste in there. You have a new elbow. And now you live in Thailand with one arm, and no one is going to hire you to do your crocodile shit anymore because you're going to scare the shit out of everyone. Oh, please, I'd pay extra.
Starting point is 01:57:12 This is a new advertisement for prosthetics. Now he is fucking immune to whatever that crocodile could do. He's like, look at my head go in. Look at my head come out. It doesn't fucking matter. He's not worried at that point. That's great. You've got to make a good point there. What if you
Starting point is 01:57:25 recreated this every show, but with a prosthetic arm? Like, it looks real, but it's just like, okay, let's try this one more time. Oh, no! It just rips his arm off every fucking show. His arm's coated with A1 steak sauce every show.
Starting point is 01:57:41 How long would that work? They'd be like, I'm going to go see the show today of the guy who gets his arm re-taught. 100% of the time, he did. He put the hand in the mouth and nothing even happened. I don't know. I bet his career
Starting point is 01:57:58 has gone downhill. That was hard to watch. I didn't expect it to bite down so hard. I'm surprised. That's the part that bothered you, was how hard he got bit? You can almost see his arm crush in real time. The girth of his arm immediately halved
Starting point is 01:58:15 as it went there. That bone fucking shattered. And I don't know what the surgeons are like in Thailand, especially the ones that are able to be – that are accessible to this gentleman. What kind of healthcare plan do you think they have for the crocodile teasers? Is one of your sponsors an insurance company this week? No. Are you sure?
Starting point is 01:58:37 Because I'm sensing a theme, a recurring theme across the videos we're watching right now. It's just that if you're going to mauled by an animal you better have insurance Yeah, and I don't think they did no all you get the cool blue jumpsuit we give you You can walk your ass to the hospital on your own either rickshaw we cover that Man that's fucking awesome poor guy i feel bad for him because you know he's somewhere with one fucking arm right fucking now it's probably a sign up when i was in thailand for my uh honeymoon and we uh and there were signs up on the beach uh beware the port Portuguese man of war or whatever the hell it was. And it's like, yeah, beware.
Starting point is 01:59:28 That sign's helpful. It's not like anyone wasn't in the water. It wasn't like people weren't swimming in the water. You're just supposed to be aware of it. So maybe that's kind of how they do the liability element of this. Yeah. He's in this thing. There's a sign in front of it that says, beware the crocodile's bite.
Starting point is 01:59:45 Not beware the crocodile. It's like, he's in this thing. There's like a sign in front of us. It says, beware the crocodile's bite. You know, not beware the crocodile. It's specific. It tells you really what you have to be, you know, thinking about and focused on in that situation. Yeah. Yeah. That's solid advice. I'm not worried about crocodile kicks. I'm not either.
Starting point is 01:59:57 Well, after that fucking jump roll off of dry land, I'm a bit more worried about that. I never thought I'd have to be worried about being jump-kicked by a crocodile, but maybe? You would never be in a situation where you'd be like, oh my god, that's a wild crocodile. I'm gonna go beat its nose around a little bit and stick my hand in its mouth. Look at this fucking pussy-ass croc. What are you gonna do,
Starting point is 02:00:20 bitch? I'm gonna tickle your fucking uvula little bitch no you would you would do it all three of us would do is walk to a safe distance my mother called 9-1-1 because people were playing with the crocodile she's in florida and i hope i have this story right and they're like you know what's the nature of your emergency and she's like there's tourists here posing for photos with the crocodiles or alligators or whatever they are and they're
Starting point is 02:00:54 like ah that's not good so they came and warned them of the danger yeah they're alligators down there yeah that's fucked yeah that's uh florida's a scary place i wouldn't take pictures with one Yeah, that's fucked. Florida's a scary place. I wouldn't take pictures with one. They're posing. I don't know. You gotta be there to gauge the situation for yourself.
Starting point is 02:01:13 Maybe it looks like a friendly alligator. It was on a highway on-ramp. In the grassy section. He's a gator about town. He's like a city chipmunk. He's the Izod gator. Do you guys have tons of Canadian geese where you are? Yeah, seasonally.
Starting point is 02:01:35 The ones that hang out and are not afraid of people at all, those are the meanest fucking birds. I had one fly at me this year where I was walking to my car, and one was between me and where i needed to get in the parking lot and i'm not gonna take a big half circle around a goose like i'm like it'll it'll move i'm much bigger than this goose like i get like maybe 10 feet away and it looks at me and he goes they they fucking they hiss at you oh yeah they absolutely do have you not encountered canadian geese before? I'd never had one. I'd had them, like, hiss from, like, I'd heard them hiss before, but I'd never had one hiss at me. Like, he was hissing at me.
Starting point is 02:02:10 And then I was, like, I was taking a few more steps, and then he, like, flew towards me at, like, an angle where it, like, barely went over my head, where I, like, ducked down and, like, went like that. And it was, like, God, I hope nobody saw me be, like, ducked down from this goose in this grocery store parking lot. But the worst part is they're protected, right? You're not allowed to do something without them. What? We hunt them. You hunt them? Am I just wrong about this?
Starting point is 02:02:32 Anyone watching this show, I give you full permission to fuck with geese. Yeah, there's goose season here. I have some Canadian friends who live in this area, and there's a fuck ton of Canadian geese here. And they're like, why are people stopping for them in the roads? Why are people giving them anything? Because they're like a pest animal from where they're from. They're like, you know, you
Starting point is 02:02:49 drive at them, they're going to move. You don't stop and wait for them in your car. But my wife has been chased by one. She's been chased by a Canadian goose. I wish I had been there for that. I heard about it. I wish I'd been there. You'd have done a hate crime on that Canadian goose. No, I'm not saying I wish to be so tough about it. I would laughed my ass off i would be lying on the ground laughing
Starting point is 02:03:08 as she's running from a fucking goose i would be tough about it i i want to be like like the the second day that a goose attacked me on my way from the office to the car i'm packing a i'm packing a katana i'm That long neck That long neck Looks very vulnerable to a sword attack I feel like There'd be a bunch of decapitated geese out in the park That was making a lot of sense to me The only way I could imagine
Starting point is 02:03:36 The katana wouldn't be helpful I feel like It's an ideal melee weapon Katana, machete Fair enough, it couldn't possibly hurt i'm not trained with these things if you grab a goose by the neck like as it's flying you know if you're like mr quick and it's ah i feel like what you'd have to do is like go into you know how you you kill bowser in mario 64 where you have to like swing around to keep his inertia
Starting point is 02:04:03 away by the tail the when you throw him you have to do swing around to keep his inertia away by the tail. The wahoo! And you throw him. You have to do that with the fucking goose swinging over your head like a maniac. Yeah. Oh, I hate geese. These are the worst animals. It seems like you could break its neck like it was a serving of spaghetti. I think they're itchy. Is it just all like
Starting point is 02:04:19 birds that you're like convinced you'd win fights with? Oh, there are other animals. You're like telling me about crocodiles or alligators you seem oh no no yes that's right yeah don't i don't i mean i don't i need to see how big a caiman is you know they might be they might be 16 pounds but in general if an animal weighs less than 35 40 pounds then uh you know i don't automatically concede to it you're not worried about like natural claws natural weapons poisons things like this the things that these animals have to protect themselves not not a concern no and and it said to say not a concern is a stretch but
Starting point is 02:04:57 the do you like sharpen your own teeth or something but the uh But they have claws. I'm not saying that I would escape a battle with, like, the largest bird unscathed, right? It might puncture my hand. You're just saying that you would be in the picture. You would require medical attention. Yeah. You'd kill it. You'd take your wounds and you'd kill it. Yeah.
Starting point is 02:05:19 I think it would be very one-sided against most birds. If there are any falconers in the audience. I haven't seen to the end of this one, but this is man versus Canadian goose. So let's see. Yeah, I want to watch that. Just half a second. But I just want to put out there,
Starting point is 02:05:37 if we're talking about videos that have a good tail on their revenue, I think Woody fighting various birds of prey would be, would be up there. Ah, just I'd tune in. Yeah. I like this idea. I wish it was legal. All right.
Starting point is 02:05:53 You guys ready? Yeah. Yeah. I hope before this begins, I hope he fights it. If he does cowers and then this is uses evidence that geese are like elite fighting machines. Looking at this guy walking out, he looks like he's had a fucking
Starting point is 02:06:06 rough day. We'll set the stage. This might have been the straw for him. Fucking geese, I just want to walk. It's a sunny day. He's carrying a briefcase or something. He's got a coat on. His head is looking down towards the ground so it clearly wasn't that great of a day.
Starting point is 02:06:22 It may be stressful. Maybe his ex-wife is on his ass about some alimony payment or something. his team just told him they're behind schedule this is like fucking like chest bumping to begin with like they have like gone and like squared off and it's continuing oh i haven't started yet i'm at zero oh yeah oh yeah let's go back to zero oh you're good ready set play all, the gentleman's just walking down. Walking down the path. Looks preoccupied, like shitty day. Yeah.
Starting point is 02:06:51 Papers in his hand. Oh, here they come! Tries to give the goose some respect. Goose has none of it. Goose comes over right to him. Oh yeah! He's counterattacking! He could walk by the goose, but instead he chooses to walk to the goose.
Starting point is 02:07:08 But look! A second goose from behind! Look at him! Oh, he's beating the goose! The goose is scared! The goose was all full of cr- Oh, wait. The goose wants more. Well now the goose is full of vim and vigor. Yes! Oh, this guy is awesome! Pecking at him. Oh, hit him with the bag. Yes!
Starting point is 02:07:32 Oh, I love this guy! That goose has no offensive weapons. He's all just intimidation tactics. You tell me a katana would not solve this issue? Kyle, I'm on your team with this. That girl is much more attractive than he is. Look at the goose once more! Yes! Yes!
Starting point is 02:07:47 Oh, yes! Oh, he's so good! That wasn't his girlfriend or anything. I don't know if he saw it, Filthy. He was walking by, and when he walked to the right before the goose attacked, he was going to pick up that bag that was laying there on the path. Because apparently, prior to all this,
Starting point is 02:08:04 this poor woman was attacked by the goose. And got run off by it. You said taking her back. They're terrible animals. They need to be more afraid. We should be allowed to kick geese. We need more heroes like that man. That's what you're thinking, yeah.
Starting point is 02:08:22 You're acting like there's a goose Gestapo out there who's gonna be oh you kick the goose eh mr tough guy i love that the kick him german geese yeah because it sounds like yeah uh anyway then you're sorry go ahead filthy no no it's honestly they're there's huge fucking pest animal they shit everywhere have you ever been somewhere where canadian geese live they shit everywhere they eat grass and they shit grass and like grass is like no nutritional value so they eat a ton of it and it's just goose shit everywhere it's the most disgusting thing ever
Starting point is 02:08:58 they're horrible creatures it coats every parking lot that time we're on the same page with this and you know that people people i've heard this too i've heard this one told me a couple times when i complained about canadian geese i have a shirt by the way that has a picture of a handgun with a goose on it uh because from from from my experiences with geese where my where i went to graduate school um but apparently you can keep swans which i didn't even know was a thing you can keep swans because swans will chase off canadian geese i had no idea so like if i want to see that i want to see a canadian geese versus swan fight if chiz is just like sitting around not
Starting point is 02:09:29 having anything to do that one i'd be interested in like why is the canadian geese terrified of swan i just put in swan attack just curious first thing is a 20 minute video of how aggressive swan attacks are yeah this is this is the swan attacks are. This is the swan fucking strategy. This is like you've seen the Bin Laden stuff where they follow the team as they launch. This is a 20 minute one of the swans gotta be like that, right?
Starting point is 02:09:55 Look at this video that Chiz has linked. This is great. This is called Fight! Swan versus Canada Goose Leader. Alright, I started watching it thinking it was the 20 minute one that I would just... Anyway, let's watch it. I'm cute at zero. This is like a real life Pokemon battle.
Starting point is 02:10:11 This may be my fucking campus. 3, 2, 1, play. The swan is like in the water heading toward the land in attack position. The goose is coming to the swan! Initially. I see he's backing off now.
Starting point is 02:10:28 He doesn't want none of that! The goose is about twice as big as the swan. Or, the swan is about twice as big as the goose. It is. He's puffed up like he is. Yeah, he is in, like, attack formation. Look at him! He's got his wings up, neck, like, crooked down.
Starting point is 02:10:41 By the way, there's like 17 geese and one swan Yeah I know, they're not having any of it Oh he's stonking on them He's stonking He's stonking There's like 50 geese and one swan You guys don't have this shit around you can you? Geese are just like this They're fucking terrible, they're everywhere
Starting point is 02:11:00 But are swans attacking people too or are they more chill? Look at the swans feet Look at those stompers. Those big, flat, rubbery feet. Yeah, man. Now the swan is clearly the one starting shit here. That's okay. This particular video had... oh, okay, never mind.
Starting point is 02:11:18 The subscribers are 33. I'm like, it had 33 views? I'm like, I don't know if this is the one we want to do. 33 subs and 47,000 views. That's a good ratio. I like to don't know this is what we want 33 subscribers 47 000 views yeah that's a good ratio i like to imagine the swan is racist and in swan it's just doing white power white power that was that was not an interesting video no that was that was all here's goose attacks swan let's watch the autoplay you guys getting that too but james richie's i got it let it roll on okay well then i'll help you with your... I think I got it.
Starting point is 02:11:45 GooseAttacks wants 32,000 views. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm cute if it's zero. Alright. Ready, set, play. Aw, little ducklings there. Or... Gooslings. Gooslings.
Starting point is 02:11:57 Yes. This could be at my... Right now they seem to be living in peace. This could be at my fucking campus. This is what we have a Retention pond and they the geese they do they raise their offspring there, so Now do you have swans too? See that's what you need some like bodyguards. Oh look someone's tossing them bread's a duck in there! There's a couple ducks!
Starting point is 02:12:26 This is... It's a real scene. The ducks don't want any part of it. I think we need to give it an extra moment so you can screen these. I think we need to give it an extra moment so you can screen these. Yeah, I'm a little worried this one won't live up to the... Yeah, it'll only have 30 seconds. Is this a fight or is this like someone feeds them bread for 10 minutes?
Starting point is 02:12:42 Is this a fight or is this like someone feeds them bread for 10 minutes? The trick is there's no good animal attack video with less than 200,000 views. The trick? There's no good animal attack with less than two hundred thousand. I just skipped ahead It's it's so it's feeding the bread for two minutes. All right. No I'm just gonna not watch this anymore. Oh wait At like I'm guessing 205 this is this is where I'll skip ahead to 205. That was lame as... A goose just chased a goose. That was terrible. Alright.
Starting point is 02:13:09 Yeah. Go. Who linked that one? Let's look... Oh, that was my idea. That was the autoplay. Fucking jizz. Jizz is what I call myself sometimes.
Starting point is 02:13:34 Oh, the title was good everything else sucked yeah that's the risk of of animal fight videos on youtube is they have to be heavily curated because a lot of people upload shit yeah oh my god it's worse in the gta community i i't even know how to start. Have you guys seen the Total Biscuit news? He's going to die soon, right? He asked us not to speculate on that. He didn't ask me. No, he didn't. It's on Reddit. He didn't ask me. I like it. I don't pretend to be like I'm super close with him. But we used to talk sometimes.
Starting point is 02:14:06 We'd commiserate because obviously Jesus attacked the two of us. And, you know, we'd just poke. He'd be like, ah, it's you today. And I'd be like, ah, now he's focused his attention back on you. Who's Jesus in this scenario? Obviously, Jesus is a sort of trolling YouTuber from like 2012 or something 10 i thought this might be more interesting than that i thought you were gonna go not to real jesus no no but it was it was something we had in common we had the same troll so we would talk on skype every now and then and
Starting point is 02:14:35 he was on the show once and uh i don't know i haven't talked to him for years but i still feel an attachment to him and uh for people that don't know, he got cancer a couple of years ago, maybe five. How old is he? I'm not sure. I think he's in his early 30s. Yeah. Real young for cancer then.
Starting point is 02:14:56 Yes. And it was very serious. I think they initially diagnosed it as a terminal cancer. You know, this is what he'll die from. But then over the course of the years, there were real moments of hope. You know, like he responded to treatment much better than they expected. And it was like, oh my gosh, like this guy's going to beat an unbeatable cancer. Well, I'll read some of it. When I went to the hospital a week ago, I was accompanied by the news that conventional chemotherapy effectiveness had been exhausted. My body's become resistant to all forms of it, according to my oncologist.
Starting point is 02:15:36 46 chemo treatments, 138 days plugged into the pump. I'm sorry. Let nobody ever say I wasn't stubborn. Unfortunately, this was followed up a couple days later by some more bad news my liver is failing and its effectiveness is lowered to the point where clinical trials that i had been offered won't take him anymore and he goes on for a while but essentially it looks like he's changed from medical treatment to pain management and uh this is uh that sucks yeah if people don't know that code we went through a similar thing with my mother-in-law recently at some point you stop hoping to get better and you start hoping that you can live comfortably
Starting point is 02:16:22 and uh that seems to be where he is now he apparently it's not good for his mental state he writes in here in so many words he'd like people not to start estimating you know and over and under on how long he has left but uh kyle making fun of me i don't know i saw this and it was impactful to me and i was like, this might be a topic we cover on PKA. He is a good guy and he's having a bad time. I'd only heard of him because of his health stuff.
Starting point is 02:16:56 When it got big and popular, I've never watched any of his content. He does bigger game reviews. It really blows. I think I've listened to some of his game reviews at some point in my life. He didn't pull any punches on his game reviews. He was blows. I think I've listened to some of his game reviews at some point in my life. Yeah. He didn't pull any punches on his game reviews and he was called the cynical
Starting point is 02:17:09 Brit and he was kind of known for you know honest give it to him reviews. And he would if a popular game was bad he would call him
Starting point is 02:17:16 out on it. Like the PC version of COD he was always on top of them for not giving it fair treatment. Do you know how
Starting point is 02:17:22 old he is? Not exactly. He might be in his early 30s. Oh, that's horrible. Yeah. Well, 33, Chiz says. Okay. Yeah, it's fucked up.
Starting point is 02:17:35 That is way too early to have stage four terminal cancer. What would you say the ideal age is for that? Like 92. Yeah, it's fucked up. Did you see there was this dude in, I don't recall the country, but he was 104 years old, and he was raising money on Kickstarter or something. He was a scientist.
Starting point is 02:17:59 It's not relevant what he was, but he wanted to end his life, and they wouldn't do it in his country, so they were flying him to Switzerland so he could be euthanized oh that's a 104 year old thing right it's like it's pretty current let me try and find it yeah yes i read something about that recently actually in canada um not about flying from place to place but they passed something that now you can if you pass certain psychological evaluations you can do that and it was like a couple who were both in their 90s who did that together simultaneously and had like planned that i read an article but that's also kind of sweet you know they wanted to go out in life because they cared about you so much you know if you if you're married for like 60 years or some shit 70 years
Starting point is 02:18:40 and you're 90 because like people got married early 70 years ago, you're going to die anyway within a year when your spouse leaves. Life will be miserable. But do you really want to go out all quiet and boring like that? Let's crash a bucket. Let's go rent a Lambo and hit a brick wall at 100 miles an hour. It's like I always say, I don't know exactly what will kill me,
Starting point is 02:19:00 but it will be shortly after impact. No, I don't want the insurance. Do we, Ethel? I bet your wife loves that joke oh man she hasn't heard it she stopped listening 10 years ago in the relationship as long as they're like mentally sound and old enough like i think that's fine to euthanize yourself i guess here's an interesting question what's your age cut off for how old you have to be to to medically kill yourself like that there is what i would allow no just just you're like you're not the dictator
Starting point is 02:19:37 just kind of you're you're feeling about it you know i i don't think we should stop anyone right like like if if you want to What if they're 9? You're done I tried to put that to the test If you're able to choose your gender At the age of 9 You should be able to choose whether you want to continue or not Well I can't remember that
Starting point is 02:19:57 I guess I would go a little More severe than that Because I think there's stuff about your psychological development Like when you're like if we're looking at you would feel me god like i'm taking the position that seven-year-olds are not fully developed at seven years old i had a conversation with my mom and said matthew is too boring a name and she's like what name would you choose and i said super boy in that case i would, I would make an exception for you, Woody. You could have been euthanized at seven.
Starting point is 02:20:30 If that's what you were going for, I agree. But I think for the rest of people. Here lies Superboy. Seven years from now. superboy Mom put down the shoe. Kyle, what are you on tonight, man? The little beard. That was yucky. I really liked that one.
Starting point is 02:21:17 Super boy. That was just terrible. He followed that with a firm stiletto beating. The best part of that joke, quite honestly, was Kyle's reaction. I was amused slightly at the initial, but Kyle cracking up this hard is cracking me up right now. I'm so fucking good. I pictured the tombstone and his mom standing there by it
Starting point is 02:21:47 not too bothered like looking at her watch like how much so Mrs. Woodworth you want to buy the plots 2, 3, and 4 next to him oh no no no no this is where the mental patients are buried.
Starting point is 02:22:07 Yeah, super point. Can't wait for people to have a good day with that. That's hilarious. I'm sure there will be no memes. The child casket was $39.99. You'll see it's inlaid with bronze. Is that a dog casket over there?
Starting point is 02:22:23 Yes, those are dog caskets. That's the pet section. That'll do. He's far too long to fit in that. That's the shepherd spaniel special. Fold him up. Cut him in half.
Starting point is 02:22:35 Cut him in half. Bury him in a fucking Build-A-Bear box. Cram him in there. I don't fucking care. Put little parts of stuffing in him. my parents travel so much sometimes i think to myself like are they gonna see this one they're not traveling right now they're gonna see this one so now you know oh that'll be a walk down memory lane for them i imagine your mom looking at your dad and be like, yeah, pretty much. At the time, it was a coin flip. We really just didn't want to go down to the city hall.
Starting point is 02:23:21 Well, that went somewhere. Yeah. It's funny to see where the topics lead to. That started with Cynical somewhere. Yeah. I wanted to get back. It's funny to see where the topics lead to. That started with Cynical Brit. Yeah. That took an upturn, didn't it? Yeah. Less said.
Starting point is 02:23:34 I knew we'd find a way to make cancer fun. I think my euthanasia cutoff would be like 60, unless they're terminal. Like, if they're healthy, like, they've got to be at least like 60 before they can go kill themselves or maybe 50 i don't know like that's how dare you so young yeah i feel like you're questioning my judgment i'm a grown-ass man that's true but like what have you done what have you done who are you to step in and say um sorry mr woodworth it seems you are 48 years old you you haven't matured to the stage that we think you're capable of slightly shittier than that because nothing stops you at any age from taking your own life whatsoever all that happens out of this is what are the what are the
Starting point is 02:24:17 ramifications of doing that legally so everything else is like almost vindictive if you're fucking So everything else is like almost vindictive. If you're fucking 17 to kill yourself and it's not legal, all that really came out to be is this is now classified as some crime while simultaneously dealing with whatever the repercussions of that are. You guys have already convinced me. Yeah, that does make more sense. If Woody goes in and wants to end it and he's 32 or whatever it is wants to die they're like so mr woodworth i'm sorry may i call you super boy um so you do want to kill yourself like that that shouldn't be wrong but you know what i mean like it has a visceral feeling of wrong really like uh i don't know but you're totally right you could just go and shoot yourself or eat a bunch of
Starting point is 02:25:05 all you're doing is closing off like a peaceful probably pleasurable way to die right i imagine if you go in they like drug you up so you're happy what is the drug i like so much pro football or something why don't we even give them the happy like i i got a fucking colonoscopy a couple years ago and that that was a 10 count that i got to three on i mean it was like 10 9 8 i'm out they didn't give you something to ease the tension in advance they didn't give you something to ease the oh who are you talking to but i want to hear i want to hear teller's joke after whenever i go in for a procedure usually they're like oh you look nervous let me give you this and it's glorious yeah i was just thinking of how funny it would be if like you went in to be euthanized and they
Starting point is 02:25:50 did give you a colonoscopy all right we're just gonna snake your pipe real quick i'm depressed and gassy your last 30 minutes of life are laid on your side with your legs hugged to your chest with your ass. The final element of that you've got to tie in is what they're actually doing is the next generation of sheepskin condoms. Yeah. These are Woodworth condoms.
Starting point is 02:26:15 Superboy. Superboy brand. That's what we'd call them. Don't make the mistake his parents did. Ooh, ouch. Yeah. Don't make the mistake his parents did. Ooh, Al.
Starting point is 02:26:24 Yeah. Oh, that's fucking cruel. Damn. Al going hard. Oh, come on. That's mean. Nothing else going on. That was the one.
Starting point is 02:26:41 That was Taylor's breaking point. No, that's great. Yeah. Jeez, Kyle. Words hurt. Superboy. Yeah, it's Superboy. I'm finished here. I've seen you wearing a Superman shirt before,
Starting point is 02:27:03 so I just keep getting that image in my head. Oh, that cracks me up so much. Since we started talking about Superboy. My cheeks hurt right now. Yep. Oh, man. It's a solid name.
Starting point is 02:27:20 Oh, man. No, it's not. Could have gone with anything dope, like Like I want to be Ajax Something neat Sounds intense I'm getting light headed Solid name What else do I have for topics here
Starting point is 02:27:42 I think we went through our shit topics already We can always circle back to How much we hate birds What else do I have for topics here? We went through our shit topics already. We can always circle back to how much we hate birds or watching animals. So, in April, George R.R. Martin came out and said that the book won't be done this year. So, it's 2019 or later. I hadn't heard that. That's funny. april 26th it was news there will be no more books it it's over i've already resigned myself yeah i don't care anymore he's 70 years old next year he's morbidly obese like he's not they're not gonna get finished who lives long no that's too mean um yeah i don't think the wait
Starting point is 02:28:25 wait that was too mean he was yeah woody's family stuff that's all fine what was what was this what was the topic that was off limits just don't just give it to me like kind of like uh like i was gonna say we're gonna say like there are a lot of old people and a lot of fat people but there aren't many old fat people oh Oh, you were going with him. That's not the direction I thought it was going to go. Yeah, that is me. Your direction is me. I didn't say it.
Starting point is 02:28:53 I know you didn't say it. You wrote it. You made me think it. It didn't take much to get you there, did it? Super boy. I have a dark side. Bizarro boy. bizarro boy said he didn't want to be euthanized so let's head to the clinic have uh have you guys watched uh westworld yeah this season yeah oh did a new one come out
Starting point is 02:29:21 yeah i heard it got renewed yep yeah. You haven't seen it yet? I like Westworld. I think it's probably my second favorite show after Game of Thrones for HBO's content. Yeah, I'm digging it, man. I'm liking it a lot. You're getting a lot of... So in the first season, you had a couple of timelines going on. This season, there's like three timelines happening simultaneously.
Starting point is 02:29:42 And it's much easier to keep track of because you you know it's you know the deal and it's they aren't it's not that it's hidden because the first season they were it was hidden you were like you didn't even know he was him and yeah yeah so uh second season there's uh there's a a timeline that happens before any of the first season so you're getting back background information about how the park came to be and what the park's true nature is and you're also getting the rebellion in its infancy and the rebellion at its end sort of at the same time we gotta we gotta be clear what we're doing for spoilers right now both for your viewers but also it sounds like woody and taylor haven't yeah i'm not gonna spoil anything okay yeah yeah probably shouldn't. Since they haven't watched it, they probably will.
Starting point is 02:30:26 I like it, though. I haven't seen as much nudity as I would like. It's all been dead body nudity, which I personally am not a fan of. But you know they're not actually dead. Right? I've got to say, I'm a little annoyed with the kind of tone they're taking about like the like okay so westworld as a as a as a park the theme that the point of it thank you the point of it is essentially here's where people can go and do things to inanimate objects who don't have
Starting point is 02:30:58 don't have sentience who look like humans and that's what they're doing there you can fuck them you can kill them you can do whatever the fuck you want with these people right that's what you're paying for at westworld yep the second the second season has taken a bit of a tone about this about the morality of doing that yeah what is the fucking morality problem with shooting your toaster all right well i think i think the the difference is these these toasters have become sentient right these sure but that isn't the intention behind it and the toasters are very the sentient toasters are now very angry about this but the people who are doing this to them don't know they're sentient have no reason to suspect they're sentient and in fact have been
Starting point is 02:31:39 told the exact opposite of that it's very so where where is this vindictive because there's a very vindictive vibe coming out of what's her face well there's in season two is there any question whether they're sentient because in season one there was um i don't know that they've addressed that directly they are implying that all over the place that yeah they're definitely sentient they're definitely sentient all right yeah yeah yeah we're like this is the first one it seemed like they were and then some of them seem sentient then you look at the programming and it's like oh my gosh like even her rebellion right yeah exactly i don't think like that's been addressed at all i feel like our i mean i feel like our own biological uh programming could be called it like well you're gonna do this if i do that well yeah i guess i am that's just sort of my natural reaction like
Starting point is 02:32:24 what's the difference between your natural reaction to something and being programmed to do this if i do that well yeah i guess i am that's just sort of my natural reaction like what's the difference when your natural reaction to something and being programmed to do something they're very similar and when you when you boil it down though right like you're still behaving out of free will i mean like these things have free will at this point like like it's their ability to me that to be to me that it seems to me that what's being suggested is that the thing that has given them their sentience or their ability to be more than just these inanimate objects is their ability to remember. Because previously they thought that, oh, yeah, we'll just erase your hard drive and you're a fresh you. But in fact, it seems like the erasing isn't taking hold completely. So they have all of these past memories that amount to sentience it seems like they remember so much that's happened to them
Starting point is 02:33:11 before they but even that doesn't make total sense because like i know you know let's imagine you're like you know let's imagine you clean your rug by beating it right you beat the dirt out of the rug the rug now has memory of the previous beatings who gives a fuck it's still a rug that's being beaten you know what i'm saying like what is the relevance of now it has a memory of that it doesn't mean anything unless there's also that interpretation of that as pain that as not okay for them that as some like against their wishes style thing like i don't i feel like they're very i think they're doing it for the interest of the show and it is interesting but i feel like they're blurring what consent means and what intent has for as an impact in this show and i'm kind of i'm interested in the show and i like the show and i
Starting point is 02:33:55 like the idea of playing with ai like this but i am hesitant to follow the conclusions that i'm being led to with what they're what they're putting out for us. Do I feel like I should have righteous indignation on the behalf of a computer sex slave that doesn't have sentience? No, I really don't feel any concern on their behalf whatsoever. They're not a thinking creature. I think you're supposed to be more attached to them.
Starting point is 02:34:18 You've called them a toaster, a sex bot maybe. I forget what you said. But I think that as a viewer, they're intending you to be a little more confused about how human they are. But that's just like simple, I'm missing the word right now. It's not personification, but it's something very, very
Starting point is 02:34:35 similar to that, right? Like it's basically humanizing and inanimate. Yeah, they're homomorphizing. They're humanizing something that looks human, and that I thought, was the whole point of this park, is they look human, but they aren't human. Therefore, there aren't the same sins and problems
Starting point is 02:34:52 and issues associated with doing these things here that they would be doing these things in the real world. One of them's sentient for sure, right? The blonde? Well, we don't know that. Okay. I thought we were supposed to. I'm going to agree. I kind of – you're winning me over.
Starting point is 02:35:10 I think you would definitely be like the black hat cowboy if you were in Westworld. I think that's pretty clear right now. Which, by the way, without spoiling, is my favorite new storyline by far. Yes. Yeah, definitely so. I'm liking season two. Yes. Yeah, definitely so. I'm liking season two.
Starting point is 02:35:27 I wish there was more... I don't love the three timelines that are going on. There's a lot of flashback that I don't care particularly very much about. I really just want to see what's happening in the now. Can we spoil just that one plotline? Which one? The one with the black hat? Yeah, I guess. I don't think that's a big deal.
Starting point is 02:35:48 Okay, I don't think it's a huge deal either, but I wanted to clarify that because I really thought that was a... So what they've done is... So to spoil this a little bit, you basically realize now that two characters you thought were different characters are actually the same character,
Starting point is 02:36:01 just different in time. And the only reason that works is because the characters who are around them don't age because they're these machines. I thought that was a really, really clever trick that only works in film, right? I thought that was really, really well done with that in terms of a device and the purpose of their plot
Starting point is 02:36:23 because you couldn't do that otherwise. There'd be too many other things that would have changed along with that. The fact that this is essentially the same plot over and over and over again that this is a perpetual rerun allows that to be done. I thought that was really, really well done. I really liked that. It was such a mind-blower. It's more of a season one spoiler.
Starting point is 02:36:41 So it's just not a big deal at all. If you haven't watched season one by yet, go fuck yourself. But yeah, when that realization came to be it was like oh my god it's the same guy that's him oh man that that was a real mind blower i really liked that and the journey that that that character made in the first season the the mcpoyle guy from it's always sunny uh, was he went from white hat to black hat, literally. It was excellent. I liked it a lot. I'm hoping season two continues on this arc.
Starting point is 02:37:12 There's definitely, we've learned that there's more secrets to the park. I want to see the other parks. I get that the show is Westworld, but I want to see Roman world and I want to see samurai world and all that stuff too. I just want to see it stay away from the fucking Battlestar Galactica writing where they write themselves into a fucking corner that they can't get out of and it becomes crap and bullshit all the way through. I want them to be – I really hope that they have their story arc planned out ahead of time and that they know where these are going.
Starting point is 02:37:45 Because these revelations, because we're in one of these scenarios where anybody can be anybody. They can be machine or not, and we never know because we don't get enough actual knowledge to make that decision. So they can reveal anybody at any time
Starting point is 02:37:56 as a machine or a human when they aren't otherwise at any point. And that's a really, that's a good power, but it's also a power that's very easily fucked up in terms of storytelling. Yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 02:38:09 I definitely did not like the final season of Battlestar. I didn't like that at all, how they chose to end that whole thing. That really pissed me off. But the first couple of seasons are fucking excellent. Big fan of that show.
Starting point is 02:38:29 Yeah, me too. But that's part of why it was so saddening to see that end of it that blonde actress in that show so fucking hot oh you liked her oh you're talking uh what's her face uh the pilot the uh that's um oh what's her i know her name i wanted to say katie sackhoff but that's not her name. The chick that played Starbuck. It is Katie Sackhoff. You're not talking Starbuck. You're talking the Cylon? Yeah, yeah, the six. The six is super fucking hot. Trisha Helfer.
Starting point is 02:38:58 Yes, she's over there with the... Very nice. It was a very attractive female cast in The Outer Galactic, I thought. Yeah, I thought that everybody was pretty attractive in that show, right? Yeah, like everybody in that show. I even liked the Asian chick who turned out. Well, I don't want to spoil anything. It's a good show.
Starting point is 02:39:18 Everyone should watch it, including Taylor, who refuses for some reason because he doesn't like science fiction. I've seen season one. You've seen season one of Battlestar? No, I'm sorry. I thought you were representing us. No, he's like, fuck you. I haven't seen that one. We've been on Battlestar for like 10 minutes now. That's hypothetical
Starting point is 02:39:36 subjective Woody time. I guess it is. I don't know. What world would you guys... If you have your pick of infinite worlds that you can go and be in like the west world style you know like the old west what would you pick do i have any powers in this thing you know do i get to be the wizard i i mean it's the same thing as west world so like you're like the uber mensch in this world where like you you can't get
Starting point is 02:40:03 hurt you can't do anything like nothing they can't fuck with you you're like a king okay but if i live in like lord of the rings am i i don't know sauron or somebody cool i mean you can pick your character you wouldn't want to be you get to be well he might be he might that might be what he wants so you want to win for evil that's your yeah man that would actually be pretty fun. Yeah. Interesting that you didn't become Superboy in your fantasy. When he was seven, he wanted to be Superboy. When he went through puberty, he wanted something else. To be Superman. I didn't know that a fantasy type thing would even be an option.
Starting point is 02:40:41 I was thinking of historical time periods, sort of in the vein of the show, where they have various historical periods of earth and i think the wild west lends itself well to that setting oh yeah such a fucking shitty i'm so glad i was not alive in that time or any part of that what a shitty time to be alive i always say like like right now is the best time ever to be alive forward and where you want to go yeah yeah yeah if you're going anywhere you want to go forward the past sucked for so many reasons visit the past you might be really like dude i could invent the assembly line right like it yeah but you still have no deodorant or health care like Like, you got a staph infection?
Starting point is 02:41:26 Sorry, Henry Ford, you're done for. Like, we got no penicillin. That's a good point. And I think it's much easier to invent things in retrospect. Oh, yeah, that's what I'm getting at. I couldn't invent half this shit. Like, if I go back, I can have all the knowledge of my time that I have right now, what I have. And if I went back in time, I'm fucked.
Starting point is 02:41:44 I don't know how any of this shit works. You know what I mean? Yeah, they're going to be like, I want to invent the cotton gin. They're like, what's that? It's like, you know, that machine that like kind of scoops it and sorts it. It's a lot of levers.
Starting point is 02:41:56 Get on it. Start figuring this out. Like, I wouldn't know what to do. Like, I'm not smart enough to figure that shit out. No joke. But I could give them a really nice workout routine. With some resources, I think I could what to do. I'm not smart enough to figure that shit out. No joke. But I could give him a really nice workout routine. With some resources, I think I could invent an airplane. What would be a fun one, I think, if we're doing just history,
Starting point is 02:42:12 would be to go back and fight in the 300 battle, Battle of Thermopylae, and be on the Spartan side. And you're going to be tearing them up just the way Gerard Butler, whoever it is, did in that movie. Because you can't get killed. You're going to be doing dope them up just the way Gerard Butler, whoever it is, did in that movie. Because you can't get killed. You're going to be doing dope moves and slicing up the Persians. That would be a fun one to live out, right? It sounds exhausting.
Starting point is 02:42:33 You want to go to the Battle of Thermopylae? Yeah. Jesus Christ. Wait, no, no. But you can't die. Why do I want to go there? Because then you can fight in it. What you just told me is I basically just typed in my invulnerable cheat code, and now I'm playing a real-life video game except I've got to do a bunch of shit.
Starting point is 02:42:51 And the outcome I already knew ahead of time. And why do I care? Because it would be fun to kill all the Persians and be doing that. Well, it wouldn't be exactly like history. It would be more like 300 where they like uh fucking rhinos and shit and elephants and and uh the guys with the masks and the bombs the immortals the immortals uh with their little claws see it'd be a blast and you know the difference win that battle and so maybe i'm the difference you know i'm the one invincible soldier that would only have, like, stop to sleep.
Starting point is 02:43:27 And then, I don't know. I thought it was fun. It seems like I could just put myself in a porn or something and it'd be a way better time than that Thermopylae bullshit. Leave the sex for real life. Go fight Persians in ancient times. I think I'd like to be a knight on a crusade, right? That seems fun to me.
Starting point is 02:43:46 Like burning people alive? Stuff like that? The crusades, you say. People. Well, you'd be fighting the sarsens, right? Yeah, I agree 100%, Kyle. 100% with you on that. About the Arabs.
Starting point is 02:43:59 Now who's getting flipped out? Notice me not saying anything. Yeah, exactly. Make it work for that. Oh, yeah, go ahead. Let me do a little advertisement here. 30 seconds. I'm enjoying this, Dos Equis.
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Starting point is 02:45:29 I think it would... You know, like, there's lots of interesting historical moments, I suppose, that you could reenact. But if I was going to an entire world that was virtual, I think the Crusades are pretty fun.
Starting point is 02:45:43 Like, maybe some sort of crusade to get the Holy Grail or defend Jerusalem or something like that, where you begin in France or something in your homeland, and the call goes out, and you leave your family. Would you want to be on the side where they went down for the Crusades, or would you want to be in the couple centuries prior to that, where you're being attacked and you're defending the saracen hordes or whatever they call them yeah i'm always i'm always more like appealed by like the defensive one like where you're having to like hold a castle or like like then the attacking fantasy although they both would be fun i'm just curious which one you might i think i would want to begin i wouldn't would want
Starting point is 02:46:24 to be attacking i would want to be attacking. I would want to leave my home in France as the son of a nobleman with my fancy armor and all my training and my horse and everything. And go to the Holy Land to, you know, take some names. It might be neat to fly a mustang defending bombers in world war ii like battle of britain style huh yeah like i wouldn't want to i don't think i'd want to go back to a war that modern really but yeah i think i'd want to go further back to where it was like if you can't be hurt i feel like you want to embrace that whole hog and be like, I don't want to just get hit by a bullet and have it not do anything. You could have blades going through you and nothing's happening.
Starting point is 02:47:13 And you're up close and personal killing these robots or whatever the hell they are. You don't play a lot of video games, do you? Not anymore, no. It's very boring when there's no challenge. I just punch out. Or when there's no challenge. I just punch out. Or maybe there's like a counter where it's like if you get hit X amount of times, you lose or something. But you can't die. I wonder what Filthy Sid also applies to the sex bots.
Starting point is 02:47:39 Are they as much fun when it's just full on whatever you dream of? Yes, yes, yes. I want him to put up a little bit of a fight. Okay. You want to have a program in there, like mild resistance, and you can turn up the dial as you see fit? They can resist as much as they want. Just maximize their strength, and we got our bases covered.
Starting point is 02:48:01 All right. Whoa, whoa. Oh, right. I'm the crazy one. I don't want the robot twisting my jumping with you no you set a max on their strength you don't oh oh i see and now we're back on the same page yeah definitely the rape page the sex spot thing they're toasters kyle You don't stick your dick in a toaster. I learned that the hard way.
Starting point is 02:48:28 Actually, it's probably good advice. That was the end of that topic. That's what the final take on that was. Don't stick your dick in toasters. I have a topic. I was going to ask what household item you could stick your dick in. Well, definitely tomatoes. That's not a high...
Starting point is 02:48:47 I was thinking more like vacuum cleaners. You could stick it... This is aimed for the single male viewer. He's not going to have tomatoes sitting around his house. You can stick it in the dishwasher. And she even likes it most of the time. I see. Most of the time, huh?
Starting point is 02:49:06 A little glimpse into Taylor's private life. So, you had something about sex bots, didn't you? I was looking that up. I was trying to find this thing. A sex bot fan reveals he no longer has problems with women, which I think, I'm about to read it.
Starting point is 02:49:28 And I think what it's going to say is I don't even need women anymore. Cause I can't imagine that this has made him better at dealing with women. Yeah. You know, where's the bathroom down the hall, second door on the right. And they accidentally opened up the first one and there's just a macabre ghoulish, you know, homunculus. That's Monica. Don't mind her. why does she have clothes on
Starting point is 02:49:48 we circled back to andre's that's the uncanny valley right the uncanny valley yes no that's that's what it's called right where you get the the things that are humanoid but they're not humanoid enough that you pass as humanoid but they're too humanoid for comfort and it's that that set where it's like it's more disturbing than things that look less human so it's that uncanny valley of disturbance of shit yeah and sex dolls are definitely that way fucking creepy it's very a very interesting movie if anyone's uh cares to watch it is called lars and the real girl it's uh it's about this like precocious guy who lives in his brother's guest house out back.
Starting point is 02:50:27 And one day he orders a sex doll. One of those real dolls. Like those $7,000, looks like a lady, weighs like 120 pounds. Sex dolls. And he doesn't necessarily use it for that. He gives it a name, dresses it up, and brings it around for social functions. He introduces it to the family. It's ridiculous.
Starting point is 02:50:53 Ryan Gosling, as Chiz just pointed out, plays the guy. He's very odd looking in this movie. He's very weird. And it's funny, sad, and interesting all at the same time it's bizarre really it's it's wait ryan gosling is the guy who can't find a woman he's he he doesn't look he doesn't look like himself in this movie that's like two clicks more ridiculous than the avengers i'm telling you he doesn't look like he's got like a like a he's got like a rape rapey mustache he's he's really precocious he's he's i think he's a little autistic or something like like he's he's a little odd
Starting point is 02:51:30 and he's he's living in his guest house out back and he just stays to himself and one day a big box shows up yeah look at this picture of him here all right i mean that is not primo ryan g, right? Still is only one not making a goofy face away from being Ryan Gosling, though. I mean, oh, I just went to images for it and it's him sitting there. It's so awkward. Dude, it's so awkward when he brings that thing to dinner for the first time and introduces it. And everybody just plays it straight they're just afraid to like set him off and like hurt his feelings so they're like oh i see your girlfriend okay would she like some dinner too of course not are you crazy
Starting point is 02:52:21 in this photo, he's cutting up food for her. She's sitting there. If someone comes over in your family and they bring a real doll to the table near where you're eating, everybody knows he's fucking that thing. That's gross.
Starting point is 02:52:39 Do you call the police immediately? Her mouth is like this the whole time. Yeah. Sitting there at dinner. She tries to shovel food in. You just served sausage that night. So to speak. This is vile.
Starting point is 02:52:57 I'm not sure how it's any more gross, Taylor, than bringing your girlfriend to the dinner table. You brought that thing that you fuck? Yeah, her name is April. Yeah, but like, you know... April's pussy doesn't come out and go in the dishwasher, okay? Like, if anything, your real girlfriend is much filthier
Starting point is 02:53:15 than Lars' fake girlfriend. Yeah, you're winning me over sentence by sentence. I was making a lot of strong points. I defy anyone to... Is your girlfriend's dishwasher safe? I think not. lot of strong points. I defy anyone to... Is your girlfriend's dishwasher safe? I think not. She is the dishwasher.
Starting point is 02:53:30 Oh, man. It's only a matter of time until these things become widespread enough that when you rent an apartment or a condo or something, someone will have washed their cummy latex doll. Oh, that's so much better. I thought you were going with that.
Starting point is 02:53:45 I thought you were going to say there'd be one that came with the apartment. Yeah, like I'm staying in a place right now. There's a Wii in the drawer. I opened the drawer up today just seeing what was in there. It'd be like, it's your Wii Wii. There's a fucking Wii in there and a bunch of Blu-rays. I was like, oh shit.
Starting point is 02:54:01 I'm not going to use this, but it's good to know it's there. What if you open the drawer and there was a There was a sex doll in there Kyle, what This is a different backdrop than we've seen before Are you in a different place than we've seen before? Or just a different room? Yes, I'm on an adventure
Starting point is 02:54:16 Are you? Or I can't tell if you're goofing I know, that's the brilliance of it Hmm I choose to believe he's on an adventure. Indeed. An exciting one. Where they have Wheeze and Blu-rays. You know, like milk and honey.
Starting point is 02:54:35 You know what? If you find a bunch of Blu-rays in a place that you rent, there's a good likelihood someone was like, Hey, you want to pack up the Blu-rays? It's like, no. No, I can just fucking look up these anywhere i don't know i don't like physical media hardly i you know i'm kind of up in the air on that like i think the next tv i get will be a very nice 4k tv and i think i'm gonna get a very nice
Starting point is 02:54:59 blu-ray player for it because that's how you get maximum resolution is you gotta have a blu-ray player for it because that's how you get maximum resolution is you got to have a blu-ray player and you got to have a blu-ray if you if you want maximum resolution i would think that your internet's good enough like you could stream it on max resolution right no oh why because it's not offered on four right yeah yeah the so netflix only wants to spend so much on bandwidth. So when they are selling you 4K, I mean, it's just a lousy bitrate. It's still excellent. It still looks amazing.
Starting point is 02:55:37 Like 4K Netflix on a 4K TV is better than anything you've ever seen unless you've seen 4K Blu-ray on a nice 4K screen. Yeah, big fan of that big fan of that uh i want to see uh i want to really want to see 2001 a space odyssey uh on uh is there a point to doing that like was it recorded like when it was originally created is it like a good enough quality that you can come back now and like see the difference yeah we've uh we've covered this topic a bunch but basically film has a resolution much higher than 4k interesting okay yeah uh have you guys seen uh oh it was i don't recall was someone wanting to jump into something no oh okay uh i saw I saw a couple people tweeting about this incel terrorist, the guy who ran that truck or van or whatever in Toronto recently. And an incel is someone, it stands for involuntarily celibate, which means like they want to get laid, but they can't. That's so euphemistic all right
Starting point is 02:56:46 that's what they're calling it and uh and that's what this community calls themselves and so i saw a bunch of people talking today on twitter like oh this is like a new threat of thing we need to to be on the lookout for this like incel terrorism it's like first of all probably no probably not i actually think i would agree with that 100 not from a terrorist point of view but just like Terrorism it's like first of all probably no probably not Not from a terrorist point of view just like these are literally like men who like want to get fucking laid and can't and Are super obsessed like you haven't encountered people like this in life. Oh, no, there are people like that Sure I was just like taking the stretch of like most of those guys are just sad and lonely like they're not gonna I don't hurt anybody like there's gonna be sad and lonely but They're not going to hurt anybody. They're just going to be sad and lonely.
Starting point is 02:57:26 Clearly, some of them get upset enough. My wife is a super... She says many have in the past. I don't doubt many have, but many, many times more lonely guys just are sad. I might be wrong, but I thought that these were the most harmless people on Earth. Really? Oh, God. I take it all.
Starting point is 02:57:43 No, they're scary individuals. Yeah. You're wh're winning me over no these are these are like um those self-professed i don't know allies a ton of resentment towards women like so yeah exactly yes they do and my wife is a super sweet girl just really nice girl super sociable like really conscientious girl tries very hard to make people feel welcome and at ease and whatnot and we had a an associate of ours like someone we knew in life who was like who was this who was an incel basically and like her and he she would like respond to his texts and stuff and they were we were friends and he would do shit like drop her like 60 text messages in the course of an hour style shit and like i had to i had to step in with this guy and just be like look you need to back the fuck
Starting point is 02:58:29 off and leave her alone because she was to the point where she was like hiding her phone so she wouldn't have to see this shit and like deal with those kind of messages because for him he wants to get fucking laid any female attention is super positive in his mind he doesn't understand boundaries about this doesn't get what's acceptable and what isn't and what's normal and not because he's just so focused on this type of behavior and that that was very interesting to me in the sense of like very eye-opening to be like he means well he's a reasonably nice guy but he is so fucking desperate in this scenario. And for him, it came out in anger. Like he would have like angry episodes and bursts about this, about like, you know, how women treated him, his inability to.
Starting point is 02:59:14 He was obsessed with getting laid. His inability to do that was such a huge problem for him, such a big thing in his life. And it was everything for him. They're often angry at women because of their choice of what they view as inferior men you know like ah she chooses this kind of guy who doesn't who's just going to use her when if she was with me she would be my princess my queen i would do this this and that for her these guys need to get themselves prostitutes that is the quick and easy answer to like actually 100 agree with that.
Starting point is 02:59:46 He's just gotten fucking late a couple times. He could have. Kyle needs to run for office. He's got my vote. The guy solves problems. I think I could do that as a pimp. You say tomato, I say tomato. I think Kyle is totally right.
Starting point is 03:00:02 You say tomato, I say tomato. I think Kyle is totally right. Who's to say that if that guy was able to get a prostitute or something, that he wouldn't have been such a fucking insane maniac and been still harboring all that resentment? What did he leave them, sex or affection? Most of these guys, and another bad thing about it, is there are online communities of these people who, you know how communities go, especially if they're based on something negative or self-defeating.
Starting point is 03:00:29 They spiral where it's like I'm so worthless I can't compete because I'm so worthless I can't compete. And everybody just – it's like crabs in a bucket. Everybody's dragging themselves down. And so they take normal interactions with women on – or the really damaging part i think about these communities is like everybody's like sad about it and like maybe a guy who's like 19 or something who's still too young to even like be in a boat like that he just hasn't gotten laid yet he's like all my friends are getting laid and i'm not he goes to this online community and then instead of being on a path to fix himself and improve he like gets sucked into that bucket you know and then he's
Starting point is 03:01:03 that guy who's just oh i now i hate women too yeah it's not that i just maybe i've had bad luck or i'm not you know doing whatever i need to do to improve myself or i'm aiming solely way out of my league it's that there's a cabal of women who are using sex like tokens and and chad gets all the tokens i don't get any tokens and it's like and you just get dragged down and down and down. And over the time, that probably cannot be a healthy place for young men. I love that whole Chad thing. Oh, yeah. That's one of my favorite memes.
Starting point is 03:01:33 The virgin whatever versus the Chad. Yeah, I love that. That's a good one. We've had a lot of conversations about sex over the course of the years that I've been on the show with you guys. And I think all of us agree it's a huge motivator for people. It's a huge force of interest and time and commitment and everything else for people right it's just it blows my mind that people wouldn't be thinking like let me phrase that the people who are obsessed with this and aren't getting it it's a huge vacuum there's a
Starting point is 03:01:59 huge vacuum in their life that is sucking in fucking energy for them to commit to this and then this gets displayed in these really bizarre and kind of off-putting and sometimes aggressive or dangerous situations from that like that doesn't surprise me at all so you're right like and some 19 year old guy shows up or 20 year old guy whatever and instead of getting oh have you tried working out have you tried maybe you know go for a less attractive girl you seem to really only be going for the 10 out of 10s do you have 200 instead of that he see he gets like oh a message from someone's like i'm 41 and let me tell you buddy it doesn't get any
Starting point is 03:02:36 better ever it's always terrible and women are the worst and they're just you know whores who only go for chad and it's like, that can't be. It's not healthy. A prostitute costs less than a PlayStation. Yeah, but some of it, it's not just the sex. It's not everywhere. Sometimes it's the relationship. That's there too.
Starting point is 03:02:56 This guy was like that. That's called the girlfriend experience, and that will cost you extra. Extra? I thought it was just a choice. Porn star, girlfriend, six and a half dozen in the other no it's absolutely extra fuck yeah i've got a whole life it seems kind of maybe silly to be treating this as like a new group of potential terror i don't know if i go as far as terrorists, but I absolutely see these as,
Starting point is 03:03:25 I see these people as people who have issues and these issues come out fucking fairly aggressively. Yeah, they're scary people. I feel like they'd be extra scary to a lady. Maybe not to us, because what are they going to do to us? Maybe if they saw us as chads and they went on a shooting rampage,
Starting point is 03:03:43 that would be a little scary. But it's not like they're going to rape us or on a shooting rampage that would be a little scary but like hey it's not like they're gonna get a gonna rape us or anything which i feel like would be the fear yeah like my wife came back one time and she dropped off by a mutual acquaintance from a bar it wasn't far from where we lived and uh she told me that the guy had said to her in the car you know aren't you worried nothing could stop me right now from raping you jesus christ holy fuck are you kidding me fuck like you hear something like that you're like who says that people men like like and i don't want to put it like it's not like a gendered well it's a little gendered
Starting point is 03:04:16 in that fact but it's like again i don't i've never had an experience like that i've never felt physically sexually threatened in that way no right and no one has ever said anything like that to me so it's just mind-boggling to me to hear that jesus christ what a what was and what was her crime she's a nice girl who tries to make people feel like comfortable in a social circumstance that's her fucking crime like fucked up jesus christ that's terrifying yeah yeah i mean like you know certainly she never goes near that fucking guy again right but at the same time like there was that moment he's right in some sense right he's bigger than her could have overpowered her that's a fear that she gets to live with
Starting point is 03:04:56 forever yeah that's that's scary anyways let me do buzzkill that, but... Now who's the Debbie Downer? Anyone know any children with polio we could talk about? No? No. I just typed it on Google, incel comments, to try and find some. Most of them are coming up as anti anti in cell like people making fun of it i haven't read this all the way through but the name of the post was suicide fuel for asian cells apparently uh the most populous uh continent on the planet you know asian cells a lot of them
Starting point is 03:05:42 i guess in the u.s this guy guy said it was on, I think, an Elliot Rodger post. He was the guy who drove around and shot people in California, I believe, because he was also angry at women like a few years ago. This guy said, I am used to this. They hate their genes, talking about Asians, and they will produce Elliot Rodgers. Asian females are the most despicable of all females. No other female throws their men under the bus like Asianian females if i ever get to the point of getting a child and it is a female it is going straight into the garbage not providing asian females for the white man or i will condition her to hate the white man nice i love that now that's someone you want reproducing yeah finally someone telling the truth about how it really is, you know? That's refreshing right there.
Starting point is 03:06:26 I want to see this. I'm going to watch the summary version of this episode. Even though I was on it, I'm still watching it because I want to see the actual – what it presents as the reality versus the reality of having been here. I'm sure they'll be kind and fair. Yeah, I think we can all see where he's coming from though, right? It seems like Asian females oftentimes are not interested in Asian men. And I feel like Asian man is the bottom tier of the dating pool, right? No.
Starting point is 03:06:56 No, I guarantee it. You mean as far as difficulty? Yes, absolutely. Yes, absolutely. If you're on Tinder and there's like, you know, easy, normal, hard, very hard, and impossible
Starting point is 03:07:12 mode, Asian is very hard, at least. It might be impossible mode. For what? For Asian men getting late? Yeah, that's what he's saying. He's saying that Asian men can't pick up girls. Yeah, absolutely. Stopping my experience with uh here's hanging out with asian men may i read another uh one of these incel comments i i came across i this community
Starting point is 03:07:35 is gone on reddit and so these are just like archives on google images uh the post name was this amazing surgery in the near future could cure all incels. It says just take a dog's brain and put it into a humanoid female's body. There, fixed. No more incels ever. I'm not talking about killing anyone. We wouldn't need to do that. Just clone their bodies at a young age and substitute the inferior female humanoid brain for a loving dog one.
Starting point is 03:08:02 Or females who died of brain-related injuries. Maybe we could revive them with superior brains. Female humanoid bodies are very desirable, but it is their brains that ruin everything. They're stupid brains that only lust for chads. They're total hypocrites. Does it really say that? Yeah. What is this chad meme?
Starting point is 03:08:16 I don't know this chad meme. That make them heartless cunts without remorse. It's not like their brains end up contributing anything to society in a significant amount, because dumb cunts cause endless suffering and can never be satisfied can you feel the vitriol and the venom for like oh it's palpable it's palpable and i just wanted to be clear about what i was saying before i met asian men have a hard time asian women are highly desired by anyone and everyone. It's the Asian man who gets stuck with the bill in the dating scene.
Starting point is 03:08:50 It's the Asian man who has a hard time. I don't know. The way that they see sex and everything is so removed from reality. This is a really short comment, but I really kind of elucidates the way a lot of them are thinking about sex uh males can't be raped sex is a resource controlled by females to be given to males they deem worthy it's a purely positive experience it's like talking about getting free money from someone as money rape or something it's like they really do see it as just i've... I've actually read literature
Starting point is 03:09:25 talking about men being raped, which men apparently can perform fairly well. Men get it up fairly well for situations where they're being raped. Just FYI. You don't have to want a boner to get it. Lots of women orgasm during rape. Yeah, that doesn't make it not rape,
Starting point is 03:09:42 but yeah, that's a good point. Taylor told me that one. I've read that too i've read that too uh i'm trying to find more of these about chad because it is so funny that they're using this i don't know this fucking meme what is this uh chis can you link filthy some uh chad memes even before the meme chad was just the the captain of the high school football team. You know, Chad is the guy that all the girls want, the alpha, the good-looking, everything-goes-his-way type guy.
Starting point is 03:10:14 I see. Yeah, he's an alpha male. The Chad is kind of an alpha male, like, and he's the guy that these incels feel is disproportionately getting all of the pussy these comments they seem to hate chad on the same level they hate women they do oh oh certainly certainly here's here's one of a guy uh taking apparent glee in abuse uh he says 2x is quickly becoming one of my favorite subreddits. I love all the stories of how girls go out
Starting point is 03:10:48 and find a Chad to bring home to fuck, but once they are alone, surprise, surprise, Chad sexually abuses or rapes them. They all mention he was so sweet and charming and handsome. How could someone like him do this? Or the stories of how their Chad boyfriend smashed in their faces, and they try to rationalize it
Starting point is 03:11:03 because he's so handsome and sweet and he would never do it again. honestly applaud all abusive chads fuck those women they that tell us they can sense our misogyny then go home with a wife beater just because he is handsome for any incels having a bad day go to 2x and their stories abuse of abuse will cheer you up i forgot are we going darker or brighter after the last couple of talks? It's just a straight decline? Lights off. I think this is like an interesting insular kind of community.
Starting point is 03:11:34 And it's clear the way they talk. I want this on like a continuum. So we had Total Biscuits cancer. That's pretty nasty. Where is this relative to that and where are we going? Well, remember, we had a roller coaster. biscuits cancer that's pretty nasty where is this relative to that and where are we going remember we had a roller coaster we had we had uh total biscuit sad super boy happy sure and then a little bit of pitter pattering and now we're we're down to chad and stacy and virgin memes and that's just
Starting point is 03:11:58 like emotional but i wanted to kind of see like the comparison i feel like we bottomed out with the total biscuit cancer that made me feel real bad. Yeah, this isn't as bad as Total Biscuit. Total Biscuit may be brought up by shitting on this community a little bit. Yeah, I hope so. Okay, I'm with you. Yeah, and we could always do that. I'm just trying to find more interesting comments from them.
Starting point is 03:12:21 But, yeah very very damaging community for a vulnerable sexually frustrated young man to stumble across guys if you're really i guarantee there's someone listening to this right now who is yeah an incel right look fly to vegas first of all it's a lovely city in the desert right lots of things to do there if you't like gambling, you don't have to do that. If you don't like the shows, you don't have to do that. But there's legalized prostitution outside the city limits. And for a couple hundred dollars, you can get this all taken care of. Once you have sex once, maybe you'll find that all the pressure pressure is relieved both literally and figuratively and
Starting point is 03:13:05 and so in future dealings with ladies you'll you'll be more confident going forward you know that once you know what the deal is and it's not some huge precipice that you're you're on the edge of all of the time and you're not sticking your foot in your mouth like a yeah like an anti-chad let's also be clear that like the life of like okay sex is a weird thing because like when you're having it regularly, you're kind of like, how could I ever do without it? And then when you're without sex for a while, you're kind of like, you kind of, your body, you don't really think of it quite as much. You might be like, yes, I want that again. And certainly that's a goal and aim. But like in that moment, you're not like, oh my God, this moment is like I'm reliving every sexual experience I've ever had and how good it was.
Starting point is 03:13:43 And now this moment is so terrible because of it it's not like that it's like i feel like this this this emphasis on how important that is is fairly kind of overrated like sex is great don't get me wrong i'm usually young of sex but yeah exactly but it feels like to me it's a lack of experience that it's dictating that this is so important this means i've failed in life in every way give it some fucking time man you'll be all right there's other things going on in the world some of these guys are 30 some of these guys are 30 all right some of them are but they're doing the same thing that like they're like the polar opposite of the white knight you know like they both both groups i feel like white knights are fucking doing i feel like white knights in this group are not mutually
Starting point is 03:14:21 exclusive i think those are a lot of overlap there they're they're yeah they're they both might be nice guys i feel like the inc incels aren't nice guys unless they're presenting themselves differently. But it's like the white knight kind of people, the nice guys, they're putting pussy on a pedestal too. But these incel people, they're also putting it up there. They're just taking a different thing where they're not doing like the, oh, you're so smart and funny and let me take you to dinner or whatever. They're like, they're not taking the approach of if I'm nice enough, I'll get enough sex coins to get laid. But they're taking the approach of it's like,
Starting point is 03:14:51 Oh, that pussy on the pedestal. That's unattainable. I may as well consign myself to a life of vitriol and anger and just, you know, fuck 50% of the population. What do they know? Like,
Starting point is 03:15:01 I feel like most of these guys are just one genuine relationship, even not a sexual one with a, with a woman from realizing it's ridiculous. When they kind of realize, oh, this big boogeyman of Chad-crazed whores out there. That's not, you know. Sure, you'll see some stuff like that. Let's be honest here. Let's not completely feed into the cabal. It's a little accurate, right?
Starting point is 03:15:27 Like women do use sex as a form of currency that they dole out to those that they deem to be worthy. I think that's too calculated for that. People are attracted to people. I'm attracted to people. It's not necessarily calculated. It's a bit of like chemical biological stuff going on but the end result is the same
Starting point is 03:15:49 I mean like women do use sex to get things that's known but I think that they're taking that tidbit of knowledge and saying oh that's all they do they're all just basically whores they're all just sluts and they'll only sleep with Chad.
Starting point is 03:16:05 Like, they're taking, like, a nugget of truth that, like, yeah, women use sex to get things. That's a known thing. And then they're pulling from that everything they want to see in it. And the worst thing to pull from it, the better, because then that kind of reassures them that, oh, I don't even have to participate in this fucked up world. I'll just be a man going my own way or whatever that other movement is. Yeah. There's so many. Reddit's an interesting place.
Starting point is 03:16:29 You can find all of these. Everybody finds themselves a little box to hop in, it seems. It's really fascinating. That's the funny. I don't know anything about that. It's like men going their own way or something. Yeah, that's the name of it. But I don't know 100% like their idea.
Starting point is 03:16:44 I've never like. I want to say that their deal is they're like. Actually, I'm going to look it, but I don't know 100% their idea. I've never looked into it. I want to say that their deal is, they're like... Actually, I'm going to look it up. They're like, fuck pussy, but not literally. They're just like, we're just going to do our own thing. We're going to try to succeed in the world without women being
Starting point is 03:17:00 the driving thing that moves us on. And I think maybe they're... They don't have sex. All right, I'm going to one of their top posts. Okay, this seems kind of in line with the incel thing so far. I remember a situation. Yeah, thanks. I remember a situation in college.
Starting point is 03:17:23 We had foreign exchange students in college and there was a group of french foreign exchange students came over and i had a i had a french class and it was fucking hard as shit there was a lot of stupid memorization so i had a french i i went and found a french tutor for this one of those foreign exchanges was tutoring me he was a dude and kind of cool guy and like helped me with this shit and i kind of got through that you know got through that class the grade i wanted because I had this access to this French tutor. But because of that was kind of exposed to his friends. And we hung out a couple of times and did some poker games and stuff like this.
Starting point is 03:17:52 And I hung out with some of the girls that were because they're all over together from that. And those girls were it was like these people, the group we're talking about like this. I think you're calling it Intel's. the group we're talking about like this i think you're calling intels i could see that so clearly with those girls because there was a group of guys who were around those girls who were like helping them facilitate their experience in america and these guys were totally out of their fucking league with these girls relatively attractive girls you know clearly uh fairly extroverted out in engaging in like a whole different culture and wanted to see parts of america while they're over here and excited about it and fun people and there'd be like these guys some of them were total
Starting point is 03:18:28 fucking losers uh like who were trying to use that to get laid and like had done things like oh you know bought her bought her jewelry while she was over here and we're gonna go on her go with her with some of these girls on trips to various parts of the u.s to show them around and i And I felt like that was such a clear, like if you look at the different ways guys try to get laid, guys try to get laid in a million different ways. This was one of the ones I thought was a very like clear application of this. It's basically like, OK, here's a girl. Here's a girl who's not in any way interested in me whatsoever. And I don't really have any in with, but I'm going to use her lack of perfect English and lack of understanding about this country. And I don't really have any in with. But I'm going to use her lack of perfect English and lack of understanding about this country. And I'm going to do it from the kind of white knight kind of perspective of I'm going to take care of her and help her with this shit.
Starting point is 03:19:11 And use that as kind of like try to rack up sexual favor with that. I thought that was just like it was so clearly obvious to anyone who paid any fucking attention in this moment that it just reminds me again of like the differences in that. Like as a guy i don't have that experience yeah and it just blows my mind to some degree to see kind of the difference of what that is yeah maybe there is some element of sexual exchange in there at some point but it's like that is driven both ways and the outcomes of that are pretty fucked up on on both ways in that so i don't know yeah there definitely is an aspect of sexual exchange but like i was saying like that these these guys are taking you know an ant hole
Starting point is 03:19:52 and or an anthill and turning it into a mountain you know so i'm i was i don't know what i was thinking i was thinking this community would be like the the less crass version of the incels. And now I'm going through it. And the top one of all time is, I just linked it in there for you guys. What shocked you most about women? I will start. How merciless they are. They are so shallow and weak.
Starting point is 03:20:16 But that little of mind they have, they use it to be as merciless as possible. What does that mean? It means he didn't get laid. It means he didn't get laid it means he said she said no that's right that's an that's an expert opinion filthy it means he didn't get it oh man yeah yeah chis made a good point here in the in the in the side chat is like you know stop what did you say it's funny you tell that story they're trying to pay for pussy indirectly stop beating around the bush but it's worse than that they're not even trying to pay for pussy they're trying to it's this like it's the idea of um reciprocation here they're trying to give something with deliberately with
Starting point is 03:20:54 strings attached to it so that someone who doesn't know better accepts and then is obligated to them that's that's that's the that's the tilt they're taking on that yeah like i did you a favor now you owe me that's right wait what do i did you a favor, now you owe me! That's right. Wait, what do I owe you? Yeah. No. I bought you these expensive earrings that you said looked nice when we were in this random store on this trip that we took together
Starting point is 03:21:13 that I'm only here on because I'm fucking obnoxiously stalking you. Now you owe me sex. Yeah, I think a lot of these guys, they must be just going for, like you know eight out of tens plus you know because ugly people have sex all the time all the time two ugly people can go have sex like and so part of this has to be they're just aiming too high or something or they're so in their own head about whatever perceived insecurity just be shitty like some level some of these people sound just shitty oh i'm sure lots of them are. But there's also got to be some that are sucked in.
Starting point is 03:21:51 We're talking about the young ones, the one you guys are talking about. Where it's like, I'm 39 and women are all whores. Like, of course, that guy's a piece of shit. But did you find a good one, Kyle? Oh, no, I'm just laughing at your joke. It's funny. I agree. I agree. I agree.
Starting point is 03:22:05 There's definitely some young guys who may get caught up and confused by these 30s and 40-year-old incels and be like, oh, so that's just the way it is. It's like, no, no, like fix yourself. Let's do a brief public service thing then. What's minus the direct transaction of money for sex right so what's what's like what that is your best way to get laid money for sex go do that that's that's easily accepted right that's easily taken care of what is your best relationship advice if you if you're looking to date if you're looking to organically meet up with a girl and hit it off and do some sort of dating that may or may not result in sex what's your best advice tinder you throw out tinder you get on a dating website you
Starting point is 03:22:49 throw as much spaghetti against the the the dating scene wall as you possibly can and and something will stick like like if you are a a four out of ten dude like like like look fix yourself up as much as you can right like? Like, work out. Like, get some acne cream. Like, get a haircut. You know, find someone to help you buy some decent clothes. Get a nice button-up, some nice shoes. Take some nice pictures of yourself where you don't look like a rapist.
Starting point is 03:23:19 And not every guy is able to do that. I see so many fucking scary-ass pictures of dudes on the internet where they're trying to look appealing. Presentable or something? Yeah, and they come off as scary as fuck. Don't pose with your goddamn stuffed animals or your weird-ass hobbies. None of that shit. Guns don't really do dating either like not no not for most chicks not for most chicks i like like look if i'm sending a picture
Starting point is 03:23:51 to a girl it's i've never sent a picture of a girl with me like hi like no you're not 007 you're not yeah fucking 007 like like like maybe if you get to know someone you have and you share some similar interest in like like, anything. It could be My Little Pony, even. Maybe you're a brony and you find a chick who's into that weird-ass shit, too. Like, then you could send her a picture of your stuffed faggot doll. That's, like, day three, though. Right?
Starting point is 03:24:23 Versus, yeah. Look, now, I saw you talking about this on one of your streams. You were like, at what stage of a relationship do you share with the other side, with a a, you mentioned a power, like a dominance exchange sort of relationship thing that you were into, and you were like, maybe date, not immediately. You know, you don't smack
Starting point is 03:24:56 him across the face with AIDS right to the... A lot of this is me parroting Dan Savage I really, really like. I think Dan Savage does an amazing job. He's a relationship columnist, and he does a podcast weekly as well. And he does a really good job of putting this out there. And some of the things he basically says is, you know, because there's people out there HIV positive or dating or have herpes and are dating or who are very big into BSM.
Starting point is 03:25:22 Hey, we're not on the same boat, okay? who are very big into BDSM. We're not the same boat, okay? Let's put the HIV people in that boat over there with their HIV, with their deadly, uncurable disease, and let's put the people with a little bump on their lip over here in their own little cruise liner, all right? Really, that's where you go with that? HIV isn't a death sentence anymore,
Starting point is 03:25:44 and herpes, for me, as someone who doesn't carry carry herpes is still a transmittable sexual disease that i want no part of so at some level i i am of the of the mindset that i want neither of those things here's i'd rather have herpes i always wondered if i could possibly have dormant herpes or something and jackie got tested for it in a physical like maybe late stage syphilis don't have it yeah no herpes in this relationship here's a massive difference though right like like you get for the most part i know taylor has looked this up and argued it with me but for the by and large the only time that herpes is transmittable is during an outbreak like otherwise it's absurdly rare to to transfer aids i don't think is the same situation
Starting point is 03:26:28 necessarily it's pretty hard to contract aids harder than people think but again like but but as a but okay but because you kind of nipped out the butt a little bit for what dan savage basically talks about is that is neither those are deal breakers but what those are are things you don't necessarily want to introduce on day of the first date of the relationship probably something that needs to come up at a relatively reasonable amount of time into that relationship and those aren't deal breakers so first give a person a chance to know who you who you are and then kind of when you do talk about this you know be educated on what that means and what you need to do about it. It has to be before any sexual encounter.
Starting point is 03:27:05 I'm almost going to pile on this, though, because HIV is a deal breaker to me. Yeah, big time. But herpes isn't at all. Herpes definitely isn't for me. I would be like, oh, so you're telling me that twice a year we can't have sex for 10 days? Well, I mean, personally, I'm in the boat of gentlemen who doesn't like to have sex when a girl's on her period.
Starting point is 03:27:28 So there's already four or five days a month that we avoid sex. So adding 10 more or 20 more to the year is not a deal breaker. However, AIDS... It's funny that you have no empathy for that, Kyle. Empathy for what? For HIV. As someone
Starting point is 03:27:47 who is apparently, this is new to me as of right now, but I got from contacts that you have herpes. Oh, I'm a lip. I'm a lip. Not on my genitals. I get a cold sore. I'm not judging one way or the other. It's just interesting that you argue that this sexually transmittable disease that has negative repercussions for those people who catch it from you, this one doesn't count, but the other one does. Certainly the other one has a more severe outcome. I also differentiate between drinking cyanide and drinking Pepsi. Both are bad for you. Both are imbibed as liquids. and drinking Pepsi. Both are bad for you. Both are imbibed as liquids. However, one will kill you instantly, and the other takes most of a lifetime. But I think, again, I'm paraphrasing
Starting point is 03:28:31 Dan Savage here, so this is not my argument, but I think his point was along the lines of the HIV is no longer a death sentence, so that it's no longer cyanide versus Pepsi. It's now like Pepsi versus Everclear, and then there still are things that are cyanide, butpsi it's now like pepsi versus everclear and then there still are things that are cyanide but this is now something that fucks you up and not in a good way necessarily but it's less so than it was before well maybe the first question should be what kind of health insurance do you have because what fucking company is sponsoring you tonight there's no way everything comes back to that it all comes back to health insurance coverage because if you have aids and you don't have insurance things are going to get a little expensive right yeah i don't even know i don't either and i don't want to know
Starting point is 03:29:18 i don't want to know i don't have that that that michael uh that fucking that fucking spacing out Michael Scott Michael no no not Michael's fucking like a dick out of here Johnson money Michael Jetson money Magic Johnson money Michael Johnson who's Michael Johnson Magic Johnson yeah this is not gonna work out I gotta work out yeah yeah AIDS is definitely a no-no i feel like that is gonna send 90 of people running for the hills i know i certainly would be like i i would just be scary as fuck for me i i i i i i i don't i wouldn't just instantly block you but i would be like i'm sorry that's a no-go for me like under no circumstances god it's just funny because what you where you caught me when you're because you're um
Starting point is 03:30:12 you're reciting me back to me from a vod of multiple years ago when i'm playing a game unrelated to this and talking to my chat about it so we're talking about like a level of removal from the topic on that but if i recall correctly the podcast i was listening to i was just about that he was talking about some of the drugs that block transmission of that and i don't remember the name there's some one that that is pretty commonly used in that community that has a very very very very strong record of prevention of transmission of that disease so prep i don't remember what it's called. It may very well be. But my point is that what you're suggesting in terms of the scariness of it is less scary for those in the know than it was ever before. And what that is for you and your personal risk assessment doesn't really matter one way or the other. I mean, you might be a total no
Starting point is 03:30:59 for you and you might get that. But I think the advice he was giving is wait till a couple dates in not wait to post sex wait certainly do as pre-sex but don't let that be the thing you open with because the thing if you open the first thing you say to someone is i'm hiv positive and that's the first thing they know about you past your picture that's over yeah right yeah so if you're like i met this girl this girl is fucking amazing super hot super great love of personality she has risks associated with her sexually and i now can define those risks put a mental number to that of what i need to do to have that be less risky or not that's on you that's your subjective decision of what you decide is worth it or not worth it when you have that information so i think his point was basically along those lines, which are, you know, give that when you need to give that.
Starting point is 03:31:48 Filthy, you're rating a girl on a scale of 1 to 10. How many points does she lose for being HIV positive? I've never had to give it a thought like that. I don't know. Well, now you do. Oh, man. I guess I would want to hear from her what that means. Does that mean sex is a no-go three out of four weeks of a month?
Starting point is 03:32:09 Or is that like a she's on something that she takes the rest of her life that is a pill that prevents transmission of that? I don't know. I don't know. Information. OK, I guess so. And it might be for me, like, you know, if it was like we can't have sex, maybe we can never have unprotected sex in our life, you know, and that that to me starts to be. Well, that's shit. That's a pretty high cost to pay for that. It's not necessarily an unbearable, but yeah, maybe. I don't know. I don't know what it is. I'm into vampire play. I like to drink the blood of my lover.
Starting point is 03:32:43 And that might be a deal breaker for Kyle. I think that's what I would, like if she were HIV positive. I don't think that's you. If she was like, you take this drug and I take this drug and then the transmission rate is down to like 5%, I'd be like, well, what I forgot to mention earlier. What I forgot to mention earlier is I i'm into vampire play uh bloodletting i'm into leech play you know there's a there's a it's a it's a community it's a bdsm community term i've probably used elsewhere but i heard it here when i was doing research with that it's called
Starting point is 03:33:22 fluid bonded and like that that one is an that one means something to me like you know you're fluid bonded with this person you've exchanged fluids you probably have whatever the fuck they have and vice versa and there's some people that i would not want to be you know that isn't safe to be fluid bonded with and that's important information to have so that's right i'm sorry that that knocks like we have to go to a scale larger than 1 to 10 to really even make this make sense. I feel like if we go to a 1 to 25 scale, it knocks. I'm trying to think of a scale. You need finer gradations. That's all that does.
Starting point is 03:33:59 Yeah, I wasn't going to correct him on that. No, no. I feel like we need a scale. You can have decimals. Now it's 100. him on that no no i i feel like we need to tell you what you can have decimals now it's a hundred i'm trying to find a scale where like you can take like like 70 off and there's still a little bit left to even consider the person it does percentage it doesn't matter what your are anyways i know it doesn't but it's easier to say that you date a six than it is a three even if they mean the same thing what is it it is for me the same i'm
Starting point is 03:34:34 rationalizing dating an hiv positive woman right now let me do it however i must it would literally the person would literally have to be like an attractive celebrity i feel like for it to be worth it to that's your subject and that's your subjective go-to yes think about the one to ten scale that needs to make it make sense it has to be almost a logarithmic scale right if you say a five is an average woman and an eight is top 20 percent then you know i don't know there just seems like a nine chucks one of every 10 people you meet is a nine so you you have to make it so that that's a nine right so you have to make it like the nine nine point five is the kind of person you don't see every day you know i see it more like a like a bell curve, where it's like there's a ton of fives and there's not very many tens.
Starting point is 03:35:26 With isotoping tails. Yeah. Yeah. Or some people go even tougher. Some people go different, I mean. Like five is not average, right? Some people do like a, I don't know, a three to seven scale or something. They just throw out six and sevens for regular people.
Starting point is 03:35:40 I don't think my dick knows one to ten. No. Like when we say like, you know say it's a 1 to 10 scale, I feel like that is often just like it's almost an attractive or not. There might be like three grades. Not attractive, attractive, really attractive.
Starting point is 03:35:54 I don't know if I get any further than that. I don't know. There are though because there's so many levels of attract... She could be beautiful and she could have a very nice body or she could be beautiful and she could have like a very nice body or she could be a perfect specimen like like like she could she could have a fucking amazing personality and be a super incredible fucking girl to hang out with but now well now like what are you gonna yeah and now and now we're running into problems with this one to 10 scale where's her personality
Starting point is 03:36:20 is on this that doesn't is that what she sits on? Yeah, that's the flat bit beneath the boobs. Ah, fair enough. If that's tight, then the whole body is good. The personality doesn't come into play with the – this is a looks, an appearance 1 to 10 scale, and it is definitely a bell curve. But HIV positive isn't on your looks and appearance scale because you don't have that. So now you're talking about a more complicated scale. You're now factoring in other things or you aren't.
Starting point is 03:36:56 In which case, for you, by that logic, someone who is HIV positive or not doesn't make any difference to their 1 to 10 scale. They literally lose seven points. But then it's not an attractiveness scale. Because a 10? Or rather, it's now not a physical attraction. It absolutely is. It's how much I'm attracted absolutely is it's subjective sure sure if a 10 makes her a three then it's a showstopper because you're not dating any threes unless they're wealthy yes and i would date a three if she were a billionaire so this all
Starting point is 03:37:18 makes sense now absolutely yeah like like imagine like uh tay Taylor's true. You're right, Kyle. This all makes sense now. Like, Kyle really is applying a lot of things. I thought that was a – Taylor. I would date a billionaire if she was a – I would date a three if she was a billionaire. I thought Taylor was, like, true.
Starting point is 03:37:36 He would. That's what I thought that true was. I mean, like – I would. I'd date a one if she was a billionaire. Taylor, would you – Taylor, you'd date Kathy Bates, right? If she was a billionaire? No. She's alor you date kathy bates right the act she was a
Starting point is 03:37:45 billionaire she no she's a she's a millionaire she's she's not good enough that's a two no that's no you gotta think about it hang on she's gonna be able to help you with your acting career i bet kathy bates is hooked up with everybody right i would like to test this millionaire doesn't yeah I would say a hundred million is enough beyond that. And it's just like charity money. And there are yachts that cost that much, though. Maybe I'm not going to buy any yachts, though. That's not even on my list of desires. When I'm hanging out with the Sultan and he and he's got he's making you feel small.
Starting point is 03:38:21 Yeah. Yeah. I don't want to. I don't want the Sultan. When you're Lambo's gold plated and you both know damn well his is solid gold. He's making you feel small? Yeah. I don't want the Sultan... When your Lambo's gold-plated and you both know damn well his is solid gold, you feel like an idiot.
Starting point is 03:38:33 Such a fool. He's got three of them. There's levels to this shit. There always are. I get it. $100 million will get just about anything you want, but I feel like that's the opinion of either Bill Gates, who's some
Starting point is 03:38:48 sort of horseshit philanthropist who's given all his money away to AIDS victims. Or it's the opinion of a common man, like all of us here, who really don't have never had $100 million or $100 million. And most likely never will. I will never have $100 million.
Starting point is 03:39:04 Yeah, you can win the lottery. You never know. Not without playing. That's right. You can't win if you don't play. That's the lotto motto. We'll go on with that. That's the opinion of the common man. But I think
Starting point is 03:39:20 once you do have a hundred million dollars, you're like, ah, shit. That yacht I want is 87 million dollars.'re like ah shit my that yacht i want is 87 million dollars like there's no way i can blow 87 of my entire worth on one boat is there like there's always things that cost more like like like when you were you were willing to trade relationship satisfaction and sexual satisfaction for that particularly nice yacht is what you're telling me i mean how long is she gonna live it's kathy bates it's funny uh yeah so uh i don't know how old she is my wife does interviews as part of her studies 68 she does uh there was one study one interview she did where
Starting point is 03:39:57 that was one of the things that one of the people had to say about it was uh uh thankfully men live less long than women and he's older than me now i don't want to be in a relationship where that is a tenant of my relationship that i go into a fucking relationship where i'm like god i hope she dies soon like fuck what is your trade-off what was it's funny because you think about endless money and how valuable that is but when filthy turned it item, hey, would you give up that relationship bonding that a man and a wife has and sexual chemistry and a whole nine yards? You give up what you have for a really cool boat. It's like, actually, I don't really place that high a value on boats. I don't think I'd like it.
Starting point is 03:40:44 You could cheat on her uh that's part of this sure it's to be expected is it yeah yes what if there's a prenup well i know a relationship between uh kathy don't know won't hurt her i know a relationship between a man and a wife where they have a very, very formal relationship where there is not. It's not a very, God, I don't know the word, companionate relationship. They are a sexual relationship. They're a husband and wife, but their lives are very, very separate. And their dating is almost formal when they're in person.
Starting point is 03:41:18 More power to them if that's what they want for it. But that doesn't fit my goals for a relationship. I like a more, I want a more intimate, more involved relationship with the girl I'm intimate with. So you could do, you know, you could have any variety of that. You could have, you know, there's some stuff in the Skype chat right now. Yeah, you could marry someone much older than you. They're much likely, sooner likely to die. And then you're like, all right, I'll fuck this guy or fuck that girl
Starting point is 03:41:44 for X number of years. Hopefully they're dead. Hopefully they don't exceed their expected lifetimes. I got my yacht. That was worth it but that's not the trade off that I want to make. Or an island. You can have your own island. Islands are nice. Better than boats. There would be island girls. Go ahead Kyle. Sorry.
Starting point is 03:42:01 We need to get some slave girls on the island. Some natives. That's a couple bucks more no i'm trying to find uh one of those deviant art like fucked up uh fetish story things that are weird so that we can read it in the presence of a true sexpert uh but some of these are so long i don't i can't even begin to read them this one i looked up uh thanks to it once again thanks to a mr medicare video his his series deviant art uh it's called baby furs oh link me this youtuber like what is this you're talking about by the way kyle kyle you recommended last
Starting point is 03:42:36 time i was on the show uh for reddit i asked you how do you find all these ridiculous subreddits on reddit and you linked me like the subreddit that is for people looking for bizarre porn subreddits that has been a plus in my life i think that's fucking hilarious i love hearing what people are asking for for that cheers on that no problem it's worth talking about this one isn't even about normal furries it's about tails from sonic and tails wearing a diaper and it's got ten parts ten parts to the tails back in diapers yeah yeah let me choose well choose Lincoln mr. Medicare's channel mr. Medeker is very interesting. Yeah, he's hilarious.
Starting point is 03:43:27 He makes fun of these deviant art deviants and like the ridiculous shit. Yeah. You go ahead and talk for a bit, guys. I'm going to make sure this is funny enough to warrant reading. He's going to vet the porn for us. I'm reading this and I like just scanning it and it is oh i don't like this oh is it not a 10
Starting point is 03:43:52 it's a 10 but it's hiv so it's what i want to hear right now kyle is how rich would they have to be for you to like this i don't know what where i would fit into this fantasy because they are clearly into this fantasy about tails You could wear a diaper and a tail Yeah Alright, I'm just reading through it and the Cliff Notes version is Tails is a young'un who wets his bed and his parents left and so he's with a babysitter
Starting point is 03:44:26 and the babysitter goes to the bathroom he goes and investigates her bag and finds pampers not like the normal ones he wears but with kid designs on them and so the babysitter goes that's okay it's okay to be curious why don't you put one on and so tails the the cartoon character from a children's program uh puts on the the pull-ups and then says i i have to go i have to go so bad and i know sometimes you invite me up the drinking version is this like the pedophilia version of pka this is just uh this is the deviant art version this place is a gold mine of degeneracy sure it is insane and so basically uh part one oh that then has a to piss in his diaper and just wear it and then uh tails ass at one point wait you mean i have to wear the diaper for the rest of the day because i guess they want to be sitting in their own piss uh
Starting point is 03:45:26 let me read let me read this kindly gives him okay yeah go ahead so the reason you were in the bathroom earlier was to change your diaper wasn't it yeah that was the reason speaking of going to the bathroom i kind of have to uh you know go tails said nervously. Then go. It's no big deal to wet your diaper. Just use it while you can. Actually, no, it's not just that, he began to blush. Oh, well then, just relax and then you'll feel better afterwards. Oh, okay, I'll try then, Tails said, trying to relax. Ebony left the room to start cooking supper.
Starting point is 03:46:02 Come on, clip this, please, and let's post this on some sort of forum so that people can masturbate to Kyle reading that. I want to just hear about that later. You can send the thanks directly to P.K.A. Woody can pass it on to the other members if need be. But I want to hear that that was something that wasn't enjoyed by someone somewhere. Yeah. Ebony left the room to start cooking supper so Tails could have some private time.
Starting point is 03:46:23 It only took seconds before tails heard the slight hissing sound of the pee collecting in the front of his diaper but it took almost 15 minutes before tails actually felt the back of his diaper fill up with the brown and smelly mess whoo i can smell that all the way in here, Tails, Ebony said, waving her hand in front of her face. Sorry about that. Should I get a change now? I think your diaper
Starting point is 03:46:54 will at least hold out until after supper. What are we having anyways? I like that he didn't question that. New topic. What are we having anyways well i hope chili dogs are okay because that's the only thing i could make at the moment that that'll be fine the two sat down ate supper and watched movies for the rest of the night until tails started to
Starting point is 03:47:20 get tired oh my god oh wow then he changed she changes his diaper and there's more talk of the smelly mess and and that that's enough of this that that's that's quite enough that's it's it's literally i'm good to change topics it's it's literally a fantasy about and she calls him if you're really into sonic or you play the game or whatever, you know that Tails' first name is Miles. She calls him Miles at the beginning. It's just upsetting. It's just upsetting, and it's bastardizing. One of my favorite childhood cartoons and video game franchises.
Starting point is 03:48:01 Like, Jesus fucking Christ, I keep waiting for sonic to come in and for a little bit of blood lust like i want him until i do a little bloodletting or something and they could become fluid bonded this is just dark shit this is weird here uh this one's only like a couple sentences long but it shows what did your mom say when you were uh what is she i don't know that she brings up this stuff like she's never mentioned the pause load stuff that we read or the pause load stuff that was yeah that was more fucked up than this a lot of them seem to just want to be chill this one says i am a teenager who's been mistaken for a baby due to my small size and diaper i was sent to a daycare mistaken for a child you are my
Starting point is 03:48:44 father who has been searching for me all day by By the way, this is like a role play they're trying to start. You are my father who has been searching for me all day. You decide to continue the baby treatment I got in daycare to make sure I don't wander off again. You take me shopping for all the stuff. You buy me a playpen, many toys, a crib, a pacifier, baby reins, baby clothes clothes and very thick disposable diapers after we check out you take me home i'm protesting all the way what first and then there's a bunch of comments in here because this is this is the weird bit to me right just just have a second right oh this is weird yeah go ahead philip yeah so um the part so this personally squicks me a bit and whatever that's not i don't really need this not how to say this i can be fine with other people enjoying
Starting point is 03:49:36 this with with it simultaneously squicking me i don't need any part of that what i don't understand it squeaking you squicking it's squicking me out it's personal like i kind of that's like i want i'm repulsed by it put off by it whatever it's skeevy yeah it's a it's a squick response so i am kind of confused if it's like okay i hear it you're kind of reading it for the humor element parts of it but like if you're squicked by it why why continue to like interact with it be like all right that's the part of sexuality that is not my sexuality and i don't want any part of why i'm lost i'm lost as to what the benefit is of because i don't really give a shit if someone gets off to this you should mentally explore diaper and tails play more
Starting point is 03:50:21 and that's i mean oh you mean like what's the point of reading it and making fun of it oh i think it's deviant and it's it's odd it's unique and it's funny like it's it's so out there like i feel like okay imagine human sexuality of like a of a of a continuum from zero to 100 of everything involved in that right i mean i look at that and i look at my percentage of what's sexually interesting for me compared to that that's a pretty small percentage of that zero to 100 right like i might have 20 maybe oh i'm not saying there's anything wrong with wanting to be in a diaper and pretend to be a cartoon i'm not saying you are either but with all the things out there that are totally outside of what i consider sexual and probably outside of what you consider sexual why why the in-depth discussion of this one because it's so out like like it's so beyond like oh i like lesbian porn i like blowjob porn or whatever the fuck like this
Starting point is 03:51:17 is so out there that it's introducing aspects to sexuality that had i not seen this it would have never crossed my mind as even a possibility like any combination of dick so this is like a number of people yeah it's just like a what like this is a corner of of sexuality i didn't know existed like i didn't know that people like sonic and tails got it got it got it okay it's yeah i agree with you it's it's that it's combining like two or three already kind of odd on the on the fringe type types of things and then it's adding some sort of weird role play aspect to it and then when you and and pedophilia like like let's not let's not skip over that in this in this tale that i that I read the excerpt from,
Starting point is 03:52:05 the tale of Tales, Tales is like 10 years old. He's 10 years old. This is literal pedophilia. Cartoon character diaper play. Was there any... I didn't even read through the whole thing. Was there any sex
Starting point is 03:52:22 in that one, or was it just them fantasizing about pooping their pants? It looked like at the end she was gonna finally change a shitty diaper and they went to bed. That was chapter one. To bed together, or to bed to sleep? You know, let's see. Alright then, goodnight, Tails said sleepily
Starting point is 03:52:37 as he waddled back to his room. And as he walked, Ebony couldn't get past the fact of how cute he looked all diapered up. Even the way he walked with the diaper making him waddle made him look cute, and she couldn't keep herself from smiling. Back in his room, Tails thought
Starting point is 03:52:53 as he drifted off to sleep, I can't believe how nice she is. I'm glad that she's my babysitter. And with that, Tails closed his eyes and fell fast asleep. Part 1 of 11. None of this grosses me out. It asleep. Part one of 11. None of this grosses me out. It's not my cup of tea, but it seems like things that Filthy would consider the worst of the worst, I just find disinteresting.
Starting point is 03:53:17 Not disgust. There's not much disgust. Yes, careful with that, Woody. So worst of the worst, definitely not. But that squicks me. That's personally stuff that I find really hard to hear and listen to and deal with.
Starting point is 03:53:29 I don't think that's worst of the worst. Really? Because worst of the worst, you can't think of anything that does that for you? Wait, Kyle. It looks like Kyle's thumb on the pasta. Nice little nugget. It looks like things have... I don't know what happened between chapters 1 and 10, but there appears to have been some violence.
Starting point is 03:53:50 Tails let out a sigh as he walked up to his house. Ebony was safe at home, and Sonic was in the hospital, much to his protests. A broken nose, three fractured ribs, a nearly broken arm, and a broken ankle, and multiple scrapes and bruises that he still didn't want to go. Tails was just happy that it was over, for now anyways. Stepping inside his home, he was immediately greeted by his mother. I don't know what happened to Sonic, but he had a rough time.
Starting point is 03:54:16 I'm going to try to figure out what happened to him. I'm a little worried about Sonic. Sonic got the shit beat out of him by a pendulous, shit-filled diaper. Tails giggled, wetting himself in the process. It doesn't say that, does it? Yes. Yes, it does.
Starting point is 03:54:36 Oh, man. This is fucking weird. It's like I'm scrolling down in some of these, like trying to find better ones to read and these are pages ago some time ago uh when i was on pka um last time before maybe kyle suggested to you that you check out fat life did you ever check out fat life no i never did slowly what life fat life f-a-t yeah uh no i i remember kyle saying it but i never looked into it never looked into it no fat fat life is a different website ah that's like for people who want to like meet up and do fetish
Starting point is 03:55:11 stuff right like in real life it's sticky facebook with all the things that go along with facebook so um but like if like this if this is like you're like this is so strange i've never encountered this this is so weird like this is this is a personal squick for me but it's kind of mild on the scale of how things are yeah yeah well i don't know this is a little out it this is only out there because it's a narrative if it was someone asking to do some sort of role-playing diaper thing that to me is more normal like at least they're wanting to do the thing but this is a fantasy about cartoon characters it's that that's what makes it weirder to me if someone was like yeah it's funny because it feels like to me like cartoon characters are much closer to the west world stuff we were talking
Starting point is 03:55:55 about earlier this is a fantasy or a encapsulation of some type of fantasy rather than a person or a thing so it's like this to me would i would expect it to be more extreme than in person because this is based on something that isn't real there's no actual person there's no actual child involved there's no actual you know person being raped or being shot in the case of westworld or something right like this is this is somebody's fantasy writing about something sure i i just don't look i can i can i can almost see the appeal of like dressing up and like being with someone like like that makes sense i get that like like like i like what he made a confused face but i'm sure you like it if your wife perhaps
Starting point is 03:56:37 puts on something sexy like like maybe sexy to you isn't a blue fox costume but you could you could see how one perhaps leads to the other. You're like, I kind of like a French maid thing better. Well, someone else likes a French blue fox thing a little bit better, you know? So it's not a massive leap. There's not a huge precipice between the two. However, how we get to underage cartoon characters and there's no sex in there either i i scanned hard and long and i it's mostly just weird bottle and pacifier play
Starting point is 03:57:13 and him speaking with like a baby accent with the pacifier yes mama well like they even spell it out to like emphasize how his speech is impeded by the the pacifier that's weirding me out whereas if uh if i see two consenting adults engaging in some sort of role play power exchange baby daddy kind of thing like yeah okay whatever even though that the the people in the in person who are doing that like daddy little play or whatever are fucking two adults and whatnot and that's that's a real thing versus this being a drawn or a or a written fantasy that that that distinction isn't important to you it is important to me i i just think i i they're they're weighed much differently in my mind than perhaps they are in yours to me it makes so much more sense
Starting point is 03:58:06 for the two individuals to actually do this thing in real life. It's like, oh yeah, you're gonna be the, you're gonna be Sonic and I'm gonna be Tails. You're gonna fuck me up the ass with that big blue cock while I wear this shitty diaper. Like, oh, all right.
Starting point is 03:58:23 That sounds kind of interesting okay oh we're gonna shower after right oh yeah oh yeah we shower after yeah no you're gonna wear your i like how ice poseidon is in this at this point uh he's the fox but but but when you're like all right so uh so so what do you do uh i'm a writer and a live streamer. What do you write? I write Sonic the Hedgehog sexual fan fiction. Oh, okay. I'd be a little weirded out.
Starting point is 03:58:56 I'd be a little weirded out. Like, you can't write some... Like, if you told me you wrote rape fan fiction, I'd be like, a little hard, huh? A little hard on the nose with that yeah yeah but they want it so it's you know they they end up liking it at the end yeah all right all right i feel like any yeah if someone if one of your friends came up to you and was like i write fan fiction about tales wearing a shitty diaper all weekend and then getting fucked by sonic or uh who's the bad guy in in sonic mr doctor uh robotnik dr robotnik yes
Starting point is 03:59:35 you want to get spanked by dr robotnik while you're wearing fucking the nipple clamps or whatever i'm gonna it's gonna change the way i think about him a bit you know i'm not gonna be like oh that's ted i always think that's ted he wants to he has a dr robotnik fantasy he puts lots of like rings all in your pockets and he beats you and they keep flying out yeah pick them up as fast as you can yeah get them all get as many as can. That'd be a very creative roleplay of that. You've got a bunch of cock rings in your hand. That's pretty great.
Starting point is 04:00:13 This has been degenerate. Yeah. I'd expect nothing less. I like this as a bit. I like reading this fucked up DB&R stuff. I enjoy it more. We should find one where we can roleplay and go back and forth. Oh my god. That's a fantastic idea That's a patreon goal for you guys right there. I'll do that for free
Starting point is 04:00:32 I mean if you want to do that after the show I want to do this How much do I have to pledge We don't need these people around we can just do it oh these are dark oh featured collections okay and age clings age sleepover Evie's ice cream
Starting point is 04:00:56 binge I just have to ask Kyle personally like again not really my thing so a little squeaky for me and if this is all about the exploration for Taylor sexually of learning new things pick something else he doesn't know about there's plenty out there oh well we talked about Vore
Starting point is 04:01:11 a couple shows ago I love the film he knows all about Vore of course he does how do you not know about Vore? Vore is like the most like quintessentially like put out there as the weirdest fucking fetish and rightfully so in some sense it's very bizarre but how have you ever heard you've never heard of i i i didn't but let's change the topic to vore i've never thought i'd say that let's
Starting point is 04:01:34 change the topic to vore we read a good one a couple weeks ago on vore uh another one that i'm trying to find like a good story to read because i'm i'm totally just ripping off mr medicare's themes on all these videos because he has a ton uh giantess giantess uh theme where it's like these like giant women who like step on you or like eat you or something well eating is vore so i guess just like like mush you or something and so i'm trying to find one of those because even Mr. Medeker said that was the most effed up one. Let's see.
Starting point is 04:02:12 This is a Pokemon Vore. These are outrageous. I really hope that someone is documenting, not necessarily the the visitors to this site because everybody likes a freak show we should be cataloging the writers of this fan fiction though because we need to keep a close eye on them I'm not saying that this is the only uh attribute that should be zeroed in on but if if they're into this website, if they write here and they're into firearms
Starting point is 04:02:50 and and they live within X amount of miles from a school, maybe we need to watch those guys. Right? Like those guys need a close shepherding through the ones
Starting point is 04:03:06 who are into sonic and tales the ones who write this fan fiction like guns and live three miles from a school i feel like those are like three venn diagrams with like there's like eight people yeah maybe it's like eight people watch them but but but be real fucking careful with the characterization of fantasy being reality lots of people do lots of role play that is fantasy based that's nothing to do with reality and all the roles they take you know whatever those fucking roles may be those are not the same as people doing things to other people in reality and there's a big distinction there. Exactly.
Starting point is 04:03:45 Totally true. Just like Woody's animated child pornography. I don't know about that, but that sounds like what I'm talking about. You know all you need to know. Yeah. Kyle, we'll have to look through this one I just linked for maybe another episode of Back and Forth because it's between a nice giantess named April and her boyfriend, John.
Starting point is 04:04:06 It says April O'Neil, who... Isn't that from Turtles? Is April O'Neil Aubrey Plaza in Parks and Rec? What is her last name? April something, right? It says April O'Neil is the stage name of an American pornographic actress. It's also the character from the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, like I said.
Starting point is 04:04:28 Yeah, I think that's the most relevant April O'Neil. Oh, yeah. Okay. Well, so this one's about Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles in addition to this? Okay. I don't think the turtles come into play. It's just in that universe. Just keep that in the back of your mind, right? he felt like his shell might crack under her giant weight this is the this is rule 34
Starting point is 04:04:51 we're talking about right now that's there will be pornography of everything right shredders there yeah oh wait wait wait beep off and rock steady or jerking off in the corner crying suddenly the street sharks came in yeah it's like no you're cross-pollinating wait wait wait dr shiz dr shiz is talking to us in skype uh via texas we're saying this and i mentioned rule 34 which is the the rule that everything you've ever seen has a porn version somewhere on the internet and then he just goes rule 34 is a great website mole there's a website that has that that's hilarious oh there's a whole subreddit yeah oh yeah of course there's a subreddit everything you've ever thought of has a porn variant that's hilarious yeah i'm a big fan type in anything you want
Starting point is 04:05:36 i'm gonna put that to the test i got an idea i almost i want to ask but i don't want to ask i don't know night rider popped into my head you know with kit the car what is is it rule 34 so you're gonna fuck his car possibly uh what is the website chis oh he linked it thank you and smog inspection he said to Kit raspily no please please no he forced him into reverse
Starting point is 04:06:15 Kyle's good at this Kit tried to pull away but the jack stands held him in place please no more please david no you've been drinking again please mr hasselhoff no the cameras aren't even here mine is said david with liquor on his breath chiller's got these like wide deer-caught fucking headlights. Here's a little teaser from this story. John dodges her foot, which makes a huge booming sound.
Starting point is 04:06:54 John starts running away from giant April as she slowly walks towards him. April's thunderous footsteps make the ground shake and make John lose his balance and fall over. Then April accidentally squishes him underfoot hmm did i step on something said april april checked her foot and sees john stuck on her soul like bubble gum oh my goodness john are you okay never better said john oh heals him off her foot and sat him in the palm of her hand and and that's just a little tease little tease of this ridiculous that's the teaser for it that's
Starting point is 04:07:26 what they like get you to come further in i just i just scrolled into a random section and read some i saw peeled off her soul like bubble gum and i read around that because that's because that's fucking ridiculous man it's like okay i i i guess i'm i try really hard not to judge people's kinks. It's just that's bizarre to me. It's just that's bizarre. I agree. No, no, I'm 100% with you. It's very bizarre. Here's where I personally have a hard time.
Starting point is 04:07:54 All of my kinks, fetishes, fantasies revolve around things that exist. Okay? I don't have any fantasy. I want to do all kinds of things but all of the things that i want to do are real things that i don't i don't have any like i'm not like yeah i'm really turned on by 50 foot tall women that like squish me like bubble gum aren't you like some degree like is it like i mean i'm i'm joking about the church of kyle meme here a little bit in some degree you want a woman who's not actually an existing woman
Starting point is 04:08:29 in some degree you want a woman who wants like sex on your terms when you want it when you don't want it who doesn't want these other things doesn't want an attachment with it you essentially want a sex bot in a sense which is essentially some degree of fantasy oh look at mr judgy over here no um not necessarily that that no i i don't i don't think that's the case um there you know that the church of kyle is just a silly meme that we laugh about but but um i don't know i want a lot of different things from a lady that i that seeing or, or whatever, but different things from different ladies, uh, as, as well. Right. Like, like that's, that's sort of the, the, the main premise, uh, uh, to, to my sort of like church of Kyle and in reality is that, you know, different ladies for different things. What do you mean by that? I mean, maybe, maybe one lady for, um, you know,
Starting point is 04:09:23 washing dishes and one for washing my car. No, you don't really think the same lady that does dishes can do the car. It's practically an identical task if she's hand washing them. No, the chick, she'll scratch it all up. She doesn't know how to rinse the towel off properly. Washing a car is a seriously underrated profession and skill. To do it correctly without scratching the finish up, it's not easy.
Starting point is 04:09:49 The trouble is finding one who knows how to wash a car, who's developed that expertise, yet is still under 18. There's the challenge. That's why you're into the animated stuff. I'm scooping. I've had no less than
Starting point is 04:10:05 100 people today tweet me that poop bandit principal story. Yeah, I saw it. I saw it and I immediately thought of you. Taylor had a real life poop bandit in his high school. Yeah, yeah. He's told us before. It's a recurring theme.
Starting point is 04:10:22 Tent pole story. You guys want to call it a wrap? yeah Filthy do you want to pimp anything? no I just want to thank you guys again for having me on the show had a lot of fun with it again check me out if you haven't already
Starting point is 04:10:37 check me out on Twitch or YouTube I am FilthyRobot on both of those platforms thanks for having me guys and if you people have any interest in coming to play Civilization V with me, a good place to start is over on Filthy's channel. And you'll find once you start watching one of those six-hour-long videos or video series that they just fly by. You end up watching two or three of them in a row.
Starting point is 04:10:58 I legit thought you were telling them to start. Like, if you want to play against me, begin with Filthy. And when you've mastered that level come to papa let me know when you've mastered that level you have that as a benchmark no you want to start by watching filthy's videos because they are the best oh thanks go pka 85

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