Painkiller Already - Painkiller Already #390
Episode Date: June 15, 2018On this week's PKA, no guest this week but that's okay because the guys have the freedom to go ANYWHERE they want with the conversation... like discussing Wing's recent "MRSA" outbreak on his body, o...r the man who was enslaving his next-door neighbors and lastly, Taylor gets a little hot under the collar about some preteens in drag.
Transcript
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Painkiller Already, episode 390. Kyle?
Couple sponsors tonight. Stitch Fix, Smart Mouth, Man Crates, and a new one.
One that I'm very excited about, Postmates. I'm a huge fan of Postmates.
We'll talk about those guys later on in the show. Links are in the description if you just cannot wait.
But yeah, welcome to Painkiller Already. Should have some fun tonight.
Sometimes I like the no guest versions. You know, it gives us a chance to just be the boys or...
To be ourselves.
To really branch out.
To talk about things like, you know, animal fights.
I've got a lot of things I'd like to discuss.
Paramotoring, mowing the yard.
And as we all know, the NHL playoffs are in full swing.
So we've got a full show for you guys tonight.
Did you guys know I used to be a lifeguard?
Easy Kyle.
I'll just do the poop bandit again at hour three.
Paint that wall behind me red if you fuckers keep this up.
We're going to talk about some fun things.
We should do an actual clip show someday where we...
It's not a clip show.
It's us intentionally retelling stories
over and over.
Imagine how frustrated people would be.
Is that really hard?
Just roll out the favorites.
Yeah, I want to talk about fun things.
I want to talk about MRSA.
I want to talk about...
The first actual topic
on the show is MRSA.
I want to talk about slavery
Bloody t-shirts, right?
Yeah
Let's kick off with MRSA
Because I'm down with that
Do you know exactly what MRSA and staph infections are?
Because in my head
They're just really big pimples
But I have a friend whose daughter had MRSA
And apparently
This was like 10, 15 years ago
So I don't know if medicine's improved
But for her it was a really big deal And they were like happy she didn't lose the leg.
MRSA and staph can be a huge deal. So from my understanding, I'm not Googling or anything,
but just off the top of my head, what I believe I know is that MRSA and staph bacteria live on
your skin all of the time. It's always present. All of us have it. But we all wash, right?
We all wash daily
and we don't get wounds
and then let them get sweaty
and then go to bed and wake up the next
day and game for eight hours
and then go back to bed
and then drip a bit of
grease or gravy
perhaps into the wound
and think back to that time and oh remember
the outlaw josie whale josie whales when granny spit that mustard poultice on the bullet wound
this will be just like that bit of gravy in there that'll heal it up and then we just go another day
without bathing like we're ice beside or something no no that's not what we do. But it's what some people do.
And there's also athletes, of course.
You're rolling around getting a braised.
And then maybe you don't take a shower right after you do jiu-jitsu
or do wrestling or even gymnastics, whatever.
And you get it from the pads, especially,
because those pads, if they're not washed properly.
Bleached, actually.
You have to put bleach on them.
I was going to like, people who
aren't into those activities and have never seen it done, after they roll on the mats, like,
several guys go out there with big squirt bottles of bleach or some other powerful disinfectant,
hose everything down, and scrub the fuck out of the mats to prevent this sort of thing from
happening. You have to. Everybody who wrestled in high school knows the kid who was too shy
to shower after wrestling
and they end up getting an infection.
This isn't a joke.
You're going to get something.
Andy does for Joe Lozon. He's been on the show before.
He cleans the mats.
That's part of his role.
I did my googling.
MRSA is staph.
It's a kind of staph that's particularly
resistant to many antibiotics.
It's just super staph.
Yeah, I didn't have to. I'm definitely not on
mayoclinic.org. I just know this.
It's called methicillin-resistant
staphylococcus aureus.
That was funny, though.
It says that as far as
causes go, about a third of
the population has it in their nose or mouth,
but it only becomes a problem when it gets into an abscess.
It causes abscesses unless it gets into a cut or something.
But even then, it says if you're a healthy person, it's most likely to just be a little skin thing
and then go away on its own if your immune system is banging on all cylinders.
Less than 2% of the population chronically carries the type of staph bacteria known as MRSA.
So you have to kind of pick that up.
Most people don't have that
kind naturally.
Okay, thank you.
Okay, okay. I think
everyone has staph
bacteria, but only the
very filthy, the filthiest
few, you might say,
have MRSA lingering
and crawling about their body.
The elite among us, and be nice.
The elite among us.
And MRSA is the kind you also can get
from wrestling mats.
Same kind of thing.
UFC fighters get it a lot, which is part of how
I'm exposed to it.
My universe is exposed to it.
I don't mean to act like I'm a UFC fighter, but yeah,
I see it a lot.
Fighters,
you know,
with either miss it or they'll fight with Marissa and that itself becomes a
bit of a controversy.
Yeah.
What an asshole.
I hate the pictures they use on WebMD or Mayo Clinic because they never show
the progression of a disease.
So on this page I'm looking at,
it shows staff infection with two images next to each other.
And one of them is just a small
Red spot that you might get from bumping one's elbow
Against the corner of a table or something and the other one is a full bored out abscess
And it's like you're just trying to promote paranoia. Yeah, yeah
Now I'm gonna see a little dot on myself and be like oh
I'm two days away from a crater with like maggots crawling around in
it but i wouldn't actually because i'd go to the doctor i wouldn't let it you know i think i got
bit by a recluse spider last year i am really yeah that would have been awful it would have it did
you did you get necrosis did it was that didn't stop without medical attention because that's
what happens so it wasn't uh gigantic like i see on the internet, you know, like the holes that are the size of your face or anything like that.
It was on my shin.
And at first it looked like a pimple kind of, you know, but it kind of became like a crater.
And I did go to the doctor.
Of course, I went to the doctor for a physical,
and I showed it to him at the time.
And they thought maybe it was a tick-borne infection of some sort.
And it just took a long time, like three months to fully go away.
And we have recluse spiders in this area.
And I think maybe I just had a, like, you know,
not your classic giant problems, but that's what I think it was.
How did you know it was one?
He's saying
because there was a crater
where the thing was and the slow healing.
I didn't know that was the only spider that did that.
So the brown recluse causes
necrosis.
It's sort of flesh eating
with its bite. And it's not one of those things
where it's like, ah, now I have a tiny crater.
Let me just clean that up.
It continues until it is treated professionally.
And so there's the well-known story, especially down here in the south where we have these spiders, of the guy who got bitten on the dick.
He sat on the toilet.
Spider bit him on his crotch.
And he was embarrassed, as some want to be, about going to the doctor about a bite on his dick.
And he lost the penis.
What?
He lost the penis, yes.
Wow.
I'm, uh...
This isn't fun.
I'm looking up brown recluse spider bites, and I just found one from STL Today.
Extreme case of brown recluse spiders drive owners from home.
Jesus.
Yeah, I guess it's the Midwest and parts of the South that have a ton of these fuckers.
And it said here, this is a UCR spider research.
Let me link this for you.
It's going to have a lot of helpful tips for you.
Oh, what a fun group of guys.
If you look up recluse spite.
With the spider research.
The most mild.
Here, I'll link you guys.
Not that you need help Googling.
The most mild versions are kind of like what I had.
Like there's.
Early stage though.
You know, that's the.
Like it doesn't.
From what I understand.
It doesn't stop. It doesn't get better. Oh my God. i don't want to oh my god there's one of those look at that guy's
finger the thumb i yeah no no the forefinger like like like this it's his right hand is that the
one you're looking at oh my god it looks it literally looks like the exit wound of a small
caliber bullet it looks like someone shot him with like a.38 or something. His skin is just
torn. You're definitely not looking at the thumb one.
Those fake pussy procedures they do where they
invert your dick and scrotum.
Those are beautiful. Those are beautiful,
you bigot. Are they?
I haven't looked them up. A week after
Pride Day. Good God.
A week after Pride Day. You're right.
Oh, this is so not appropriate.
I should have waited till july
i don't know what was on my shin that took three months to heal but the most mild of i wonder what
does a recluse bite that that's not crazy look like i mean it must be this one the one you linked
like that makes sense right yeah the rest of these are bananas right i just have to believe they don't go bananas every time
that from what i understand they go bananas every time unless you go to the doctor everyone
describes it as like oh yeah it was a little thing and then the next day it was all it was bad and
then well i i just forgot about it and then my leg was off the next week it's like like it gets
into crazy town eventually if not treated at least that's been my what i've been
told always is because they always stress if you get bitten and it starts looking this way you've
got to get to the er you've got to get treatment for this because it won't stop until you are dead
man these are some of the worst most gruesomeome images. Like, some of them are so...
It's like someone took an ice cream scooper to some of these people's forearms
and just carved out an entire scoop.
Oh, my God.
There's one of the guy's thumb, probably what Woody was pointing at.
I almost feel like I can see, maybe not bone,
but, like, the operating tendon that, like, is on the back of the thumb.
I can see some interworkings there.
If that guy moved his thumb, you could see it.
I can see the bone on this guy's ring finger.
There's one of this guy's ring finger, and I can
see the bone clear as day.
Now, Woody, this should make you feel better.
Here's some tips for it. Be aware that
it is almost impossible to eliminate
recluse spiders from a building once they get established.
The best you can hope for is
a significant reduction in the number of spiders.
They're like illegal immigrants.
You're not going to get rid of all of them,
but you can try to significantly reduce it.
Use sticky traps.
Use sticky traps for these.
Remove bed skirts from your beds.
Move your bed away from the wall.
Remove everything from under the bed
so that the only way for the spiders to get up is to crawl up one of the four legs oh terrifying right like like like but i have that
kind of paranoia to the point where like i i got rid of bed skirts in adulthood i was like
won't the little things be able to use that as a little ladder to get to me oh they do apparently
they do and of course i've told the story before before but when I was like, I don't know how old I was.
Let's maybe 12 to 14, somewhere in there.
The centipede got into my bed and bit me on the stomach in my sleep.
And it hurt.
Oh, it was horrible.
And I am now terrified of them.
I got up out of bed, and there was a hammer handy in my room.
I had been putting up a picture frame.
And I went like Planet of the Apes on that thing until it was mush in the carpet.
It was traumatic.
It was traumatic.
My parents come storming into my room because they hear the wham, wham, wham, wham, and like screams.
Because I'm in there pounding a centipede into mush with a goddamn ball-peen hammer.
Yeah, that was awful.
Those centipedes are unnerving.
Ah, they have so many legs.
Too many legs too many legs i'm on e-medicine health and it looks like the majority of brown recluse bites recluse i might be saying it wrong
cause little permanent skin damage although in some cases moderate to severe tissue destruction
is possible that was my theory that the ones you see on the internet are the one percent of bananas and that's a filthy few that's how all of these spider bites
snake bites diseases like of course google images is going to come up with all the nasty of the
nastiest or the nastiest of the nasty it says here that most households of brown recluses never
experience a bite and 90 of all brown recluse bites heal without severe scarring and many of
them just cause a little red mark that heals without a vent.
And I guess that correlates with if
you're younger and healthier.
Not too young, because I just saw a picture of a
baby's arm, pretty much nothing.
Because some negligent
parent didn't get him taken care of. They just carried him away.
My shin had a...
I don't know, like a little
crater in it, right where the bone is
that was, I don't know, was half the diameter of a dime.
Where they lay their eggs in you.
Have you seen...
The bot flies?
The bot flies are nasty, but I was going to say,
have you seen the movie The Mist?
Yeah, where it's coming under the door.
It's the one
where it's
a father and his son.
There's a storm one night.
Tree falls over, breaks the window.
And the father and son go into town, go into the grocery store to get some basic supplies to patch up the window.
And a mist comes in.
This thick fog.
Thick as shit.
Like you can't see anything through it.
And then basically monsters start coming out of the
fog out of the mist and at first no one believes of course you know oh you saw some monsters did
you oh i'm going to my car and then all of a sudden a giant like scorpion crab comes up and
like pinches that guy in half or whatever and throws his torso at the window for all to see
and so now they're hiding out well there's a myriad of
monsters that come out of the mist by the way like spoiler alert the mist is basically comes along
with this interdimensional portal created by the military there uh they accidentally opened a portal
to another dimension and so these interdimensional monsters from a whole nother version of this
planet or some other planet perhaps even are are coming into our world, and they are all
fucked.
We're going to watch the scene.
We're going to watch the scene because it gives me
the shivers. It is
awful.
I don't remember that scene from the movie. I think I saw it
when it first came out. It's the spiders.
It's the spiders.
It's the spiders.
Now, I remember this movie not being good i i disagree
i i really like this movie it's got one of the best endings uh of of any movie i like movies
that are fucking i want to use the word real but i i guess it's hard to say you know yeah that
seems like a poor descriptor in the circumstance
as you link us to the giant spider clip.
This is not a...
This is from another dimension.
I've got to sign in to confirm my age.
Oh, this is probably really spooky.
It's a good clip.
That's how you know.
So this is from Movie Clips, the YouTube channel.
The Mist, five of nine.
Movie Clips, spiders.
Are we starting at zero?
Yes, please.
It's captivating.
3, 2, 1, play.
Why is it so quiet?
They're cutting the black guy out of the web because he's already been taken.
Prior to the show,
I watched YouTube videos and they were plenty loud.
This is ruined for our listeners.
I don't
know what it is.
The black guy has begun gyroing.
He's just going, oh, oh.
He's pulling back his shirt to reveal that his skin is
now his skin is erupting
and spiders are crawling out. And it is... Now his skin is erupting, and spiders are crawling out.
And it is...
Now at this point, Kyle, do you
continue to watch your friend burst into spiders, or
do you run away?
Look at the big one!
Look at the big one!
Look at the big one! Close your mouth, you fool!
That's how they get in!
Oh.
Well, I'm sure this guy with the revolver will solve all the problems.
I think that's what it was. He's got enough bullets to kill four more.
Look, here's the best part of a... If he doesn't miss.
Here's the best part. These- the webs of the interdimensional spiders are not just webs.
They're ranged weapons?
They are ranged weapons. I wish they would show, would show what happens when the web gets on someone.
Oh, they're so scary.
They're big as fuck.
They're crawling everywhere.
They're the size of a small dog.
There we go. Look at this.
Ooh, wow.
It just burns his leg.
It just peels the flesh off the skin, like down to the bone.
Well, that's troublesome.
Don't get the web on you! Don't get the web on you!
Have they considered leaving?
See, alright, so they're in this pharmacy to get medication for someone who's gone into anaphylactic shock, the way I remember it.
That or the guy who has, like, caught... No, no, no.
It's for someone who got
burned terribly and they need
pain medication and antibiotics or the person
is going to die.
Well, they've lost two people trying to
save her. This is like a Saving Private Ryan
mission. Absolutely. They're all going to die
because of the sunk cost fallacy.
Oh, not the face!
Not the face! I like your joke, Taylor.
I think Woody would.
Now the guy getting his face burned off with web. They don't stop and let two more die for him.
Oh, he's a lost cause.
Oh, here's the big one.
Oh, Grandma's got it going on.
That's how you handle spiders.
In my experience, though, you have to keep the flame lit.
I guess it's working better for her.
The grandma just used a can of bug spray with a lighter to burn one of them.
Thank God she didn't use that effective tactic earlier.
Oh, my.
This is my worst nightmare.
This is as bad as it gets.
Oh, it's the daddy.
It's the daddy spider, and it's the size of an ATV.
Oh, and this guy didn't count his bullets.
Oh.
You know what, Kyle?
I don't want to see this movie at all.
And it's not because it's scary.
It's because it looks super silly.
The two baddest motherfuckers in this party are over 60.
Well, I don't know what to tell you but i love that except my future's looking
bright i'll tell you what i think you would get into the father and son bonding uh-huh you got
to the and it's got a couple so i'm probably wrong about this but the maker of this um might have been
the guy who started off doing walking dead like the first season and uh and you've got several
walking dead characters you've got um the Dead characters. You've got the chick
who always had her mouth open.
She's Andrea.
Oh, that's not a selling point.
She's good in this, though. She keeps that mouth shut
because there's spiders.
And then there's the old guy there who
stabbed the spider there at the end. Obviously,
he was the guy who was always fixing the RV
up and stuff like that back in
The Walking Dead. And when you get to the end and and this thing is all over yeah you don't forget this movie i've
seen it three or four times i'm a big fan the mist you are in the situation where all the spiders are
coming at you and you have that gun do you continue to try and fight them off in vain, or do you just end it instead of dying at the hands of the spiders?
I run first and abandon all of those other schmucks.
You're cornered.
There's nothing you can do.
The spiders are surrounding you.
Oh, I eat the bullet.
You eat the bullet?
Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
No question.
No question.
I'd be like, glad I saved the hollow point for me.
I've been shooting wad cutters at these spiders all day, but
oh, trusty Corban
here. I try to, like, kill myself
in a direction that it might hit one of them
afterward. Sure,
sure. That's high-level suicide
right there. You're the John Wick
of shooting yourself.
He had four kills after dying.
Pretty cool. Collateral!
Yeah, no. I don't think that'll
work, but still, yeah.
I absolutely kill myself with the gun.
Absolutely. A hundred times out of a hundred I do.
Yeah.
I don't want those spiders getting me, because those
were not... Those were interdimensional spiders.
They're disgusting.
Terrifying. What dimension are they from?
I don't know.
Spider dimension? The don't know. The wider dimension?
The Stephen King dimension.
The man who dreams up nightmares.
Yeah, fair enough.
That guy's gotta have...
I bet he sleeps like a baby at night.
Like, he'll start to get spooked by something
and be like, that's not even good enough for a book.
Fuck that.
Pass right out.
Yeah, Stephen King's a weird guy.
I bet if you got to know him, you wouldn't like him at all.
I bet he's just odd.
I bet he is strange and off-putting in person.
Because you kind of have to be odd and eccentric to write those kinds of books day after day after day after day after day for 30 years.
They're all fucked.
They're all so fucked okay
so i went on this uh two-week trip with my friend you guys remember i did a show or two
on the road and uh he says you know i feel like i'm close enough to tell you this now
sometimes you could be off-putting like Like, I keep people at a distance,
and I was like, that's what Harley said.
This is not the first time I've heard this.
I've been told that when I meet people,
I can be a little distant and cold,
which is not my self-impression at all.
There are times when I don't like you, and that's how I handle it.
And you have to make it clear.
Well, just, I don't know.
Kyle, I'm sure you've been in this situation, too, where, like, I don't, I'm trying to describe myself without being an asshole.
There are times when I'm a micro celebrity, right? I'm at a gaming convention back in the day,
or I'm at a fly-in. And in that little environment, people have watched me for
dozens of hours, you know, a hundred. I don't know how much I've made in video.
They know me and they want to talk to me for a long time. But I am pre-flighting and would like to not be disturbed at all.
Or, you know, I'm on a mission right now.
Like, yeah, we're about to go do this.
There's three people over there waiting for me.
And this is the time they want to talk.
And I guess that's sometimes when I use my off-putting.
I'm like, yeah, more listening than talking.
I don't know.
Kyle, you've been there.
What do you do if you're at a a what do they call a shoot-in um i i don't feel like i can honest and uh answer honestly without
without making you seem like the worst person i am always extremely gracious no matter what
no matter what the situation is because i know know that one person out there on the internet saying,
Oh, I met him. He was like this and like that. He acted like he was too good to talk to me.
I know that that just sprouts a dozen others who will lie and say this.
So I am always extremely gracious.
When I'm taking pictures with someone, I'll be like, hang on. No, no, no. Come here.
Let's look at the picture and make sure this is what you want.
You know, like, no, no, this is no good.
This is no good.
No, no, let's see here.
I'll get their cameras sideways.
I'll get.
Hey, you want white boy in this picture with you?
You want you want you want Chiz in this picture with you?
Yeah, let's get them.
Let's get.
Oh, I know where they are.
We'll find them.
We'll find.
I've said and done the same thing.
Right. And'll find them. We'll find them. I've said and done the same thing, right?
And exactly like that, like, you know, if I'm not good right now,
like this is this guy's only exposure to me.
It will override all the videos he's seen.
Like this will be his more permanent opinion of me.
And he might, like you said, tell six other guys until, you know,
that's like, oh, yeah, behind the scenes, Ben Affleck's a real jerk or something.
When really he was just a jerk one day. But on the other hand, like, oh, yeah, behind the scenes, Ben Affleck's a real jerk or something. When really he was just a jerk one day.
But on the other hand, I don't know.
I'm not working this event.
I'm not here on this.
I'm here to fly with my friends.
Did this, the guy who told you the off-putting comment, did he give any examples or constructive criticism?
Or was it just like a one-off thing?
No, but i suspect i know
and i don't want to get too specific you know for fear of like damaging a in real life relationship
but but i know a guy that yeah you know i think we're just not uh we're not a match you know if
we were dating we would just have one date and some people aren't fit you know that's that and uh but it it tied into the harley
who said that too now with harley i like harley yeah that was the harley and dick episode oh yeah
okay i guess kyle wasn't there then i've watched it though okay harley dick said the same harley
and dick i was very surprised because uh when i met harley there were there were two things in
my head one like he was epic me in my head. One, he was
epic mealtime, the coolest guy around. He was crushing YouTube. It was really neat. And two,
I felt like his time was extra valuable, right? We were at an event where he was going to film a
video. He had to buy all the food for it and make something something and they had to organize it there's some
brainstorming and creativity that goes into what they make and i just didn't want to be like
tugging on his shirt sleeve all day long screaming pay attention to me please please please and uh
i was real shocked to learn that like i came off as distant and aloof that because that's not how it was in my head at all anyway i don't
know somehow that came up recently and he said i was distant and aloof and i was like yeah i don't
know it was funny because i remember during that episode uh what happened is harley goes man dude
like he said something to the effect of what you said he said and then dick who was there as well
goes yeah dude i thought you
hated me the first time i came on and i remember you being like what no why would you say that and
dick was like i was convinced like god this woody guy fucking hates me like why he does not care for
me one bit which couldn't be further from the truth you're like i really like dick and uh i
really like dick huh let's make that a highlight. We all love Dick.
I'm getting off topic.
That show was demonetized instantly and right out of the gate within seconds.
And I think it's because we had Dick in the title.
We'll have to avoid him as a future guest.
For the monetization.
Richard Masterson will be on next time.
Yeah, that made me laugh when he said that.
Yeah, and the fact that Dick thought it too. I don't know.
I guess that's how I come off sometimes.
I don't mean to.
She goes.
Yeah.
We never finished, I don't think, the Wings-Mursa topic.
Yeah, yeah, the filthy few, including Wings of Redemption.
Wings got M mercer on his
titty uh and um he went to the doctor and he posted a little image here um of the aftermath
with the caption that said staff infections are not fun and the image is of course some sort of
medical nope that's not a medical towel that's his t- Yeah, it's a t-shirt with two splotchy,
what appears to be like blood stains on it.
Mm-hmm.
Blood, pussy blood.
Pussy blood.
And he tweeted it.
He tweeted it right out there for all of us to see
because the man has no filter or antibacterial soap.
I have a theory.
I think that he tweeted it out there
so that everyone will know
his reason for missing the surgery date
is legitimate.
I don't think he's planning on
letting this make him miss the surgery.
I don't know.
I saw on Reddit,
it's actually the PKA forum,
that the guy's like, I know for a fact that if you have staff,
you won't be able to get the surgery for the next 20 to 30 days.
Now it's a Reddit comment, so it's not mayoclinic.com.
But it seemed believable to me, and he's going to be on antibiotics,
and he does have MRSA. And his surgery is...
Is it seven days from now?
According to...
It was on the 12th.
Yeah.
Right?
Or 13th.
13th is in my head.
Yeah.
So that's seven days from this recording.
Yep.
That's why I think he tweeted it out.
That's my theory.
But I could be crazy.
We'll see it all the
see this little conspiracy hinges on the subsequent conspiracy of if he actually put the money down
and he's tweeting this i still think he's doing what he can to get rid of this mursa and then go
to the surgery if he didn't put the money down then this may be what you're ascribing it may be
an excuse. Not everyone
some people will put that money down
and it's like a sunk cost that they've
like alright I'm out seven grand. That much is
known. It's a whole
separate decision to go through with it.
Oh that is not true.
But I feel like that's gonna
that's the way to get your foot through the door. If I was scared
for a surgery and they're like alright give us seven grand
up front and I do that. It's like the decision has been made. That's all there to get your foot through the door. If I was scared for a surgery and they're like, all right, give us seven grand up front and I do that,
it's like the decision has been made.
That's all there is to it.
I'm not going to walk out and just leave that guy with seven grand for free
just so I can work up the balls to get this surgery later
and pay another $7,000.
It's like when you're nervous about asking a girl out,
so you go ahead and pull your dick out.
We've all been there many times.
It's my go-to move. going back now always works no matter what she says they pull on it like a big trucker horn
sometimes it just happens yeah if he put that money down he's gonna get the surgery i hope he
does yeah i wanted to of course We want wings to be little wings.
Do you know what happens on the other
side of this surgery? Like as
wing shrinks and shrinks and shrinks.
I watched a boogie video and I am blown
away by how much better he looks.
His face is
like a different person. He looks
so much better. And in the video
he's telling us how
he's actually a little stressed because his weight's
plateaued it's i don't know how much he's lost so far but i think he has 70 more pounds he aspires
to lose and his weight is plateaued and for him this is like he's internalized like a failure
around it but to me i'm like man is it a psychological thing because he looks thinner
every video to my eyes maybe Maybe I'm just slow in
recognizing his gains.
And that's what the scoop is. I don't watch
many of his videos, but every time
I do pop in, or I see a picture
of him, he posts it on his Twitter.
He's lost. I used to say he lost
an entire person. He's now lost
a fat person. Like an
entire fat person.
It may sound silly, but i guarantee he understands
what i mean when i say this like he's no longer a guy where if you're at a walmart and you're
walking around if you see him you'll register as like ah a fat person he's no longer like you're
not like walking yeah he's no longer he's lost his job at the freak show. Unemployed Boogie.
There was a time when he could have rolled his ass out there with the lobster woman.
We mean this in the nicest way, Boogie.
I don't.
Roll him right out there with a lobster girl and the wolf boy.
But not now.
And then sometimes it's not even a freak.
In the early 1900s, late 1800s, they'd be like, here's a freak show.
And it would just be a pygmy from Africa.
It'd be like, ah, Sir Collingsworth caught a wild pygmy and he's brought it here for a
cigar.
And then there's just some pygmy person.
Look at him.
He's trying to get out of the cave.
Yeah.
Just a little four-foot-tall pygmy human standing there, and they're all just gawking at him. That's got to be the scariest thing in the cave. A little four foot tall pygmy human standing there and they're all just gawking
at him. That's got to be the scariest thing
in the world. Let me go back to my village.
He's
trying to use words.
It's the most person-like
in a way.
If I got a hundred years
from now, people won't look back on this with disgust.
I miss the freak show. I miss the Freak Show.
I miss it so much. If there's one
thing that's fallen out of vogue
and you could bring back,
like we're bringing it back, like
Porch Monkeys, I would bring back
the Freak Show.
Because, first of all,
these people have
no way to get gainful employment,
right? If you're a lobster girl, what are you doing?
What are you doing?
Unless you're like...
Just giving claw jobs on the street.
Jesus Christ.
Maybe we can put some oven mittens on you and your one job at the bakery is taking stuff out.
I don't know.
But if you're a lobster girl, you got no means for gainful employment.
Put you in the freak show and I'll lay a dime down every time.
I want to see that shit.
I want to see you do some.
I want to see you dressed up like a lobster.
I'm going to paint you a little pink, and I want you eating lobster.
They'll call you the cannibal lobster girl or something like that.
Maybe put you in a tank submerged with actual lobsters.
Some weird shit.
I want to see it.
I want the little kids with the cone heads.
I want them to do stuff.
If I was Jeff Bezos, I'd fund this.
Oh.
What are they going to do?
Like, if you were as rich as him and you came out tomorrow and was like, in addition to Amazon, I'm going to start a freak show.
There's going to be one in every major metropolis in the country.
And if you're a freak with some form of disability or eccentric behavior or trait,
go to your local whatever the hell.
You know, freak show Amazon
kiosk, and we'll sign you up.
People would reject it. They would riot
and not like it, but they'd have to
obey. It'd be on Twitch. Everyone would go
see it. It'd be on Twitch. He owns Twitch
too now. Really?
Yeah, yeah.
So you could have your freak show on Twitch.
Now, I'd watch that.
If there were a freak show on Twitch,
I'd be donating.
I'd subscribe. I'd give them my Prime subscription.
The whole nine yards. I would love that.
And if you turn in another freak,
they'll send freak show Amazon
agents to their home, retrieve them,
and put them safely with the others.
I like to think they pick them up put them safely with the others i like
to think they pick them up by drone yes this is all the tiny ones of course maybe it takes a couple
uh just your little propeller blades of a drone rap rap rapping on your door
is that little steven the wolf boy we talked about jeff bezos elon, right? Dude, six months ago or maybe a year ago, Elon Musk is the
planet's darling, right? And no one can get enough of him. He's launching spaceships into space,
appropriate place for them, and everyone can't get enough of it. Somehow he peaked with putting
his car in space and now they're all nailing him to the cross.
Apparently, his company is burning through cash.
They're not making enough Tesla 3s.
Is that what the cheap ones are?
It's the most shorted stock on Wall Street.
There's a movement to get him ousted as CEO of Tesla.
Did you see the thing on Twitter that sparked up a lot of this?
No. tesla did you see the the thing on twitter that sparked up a lot of this no he was in a conversation with this this journalist who uh this woman who was being really just needlessly abrasive with him
and uh and he was started complaining about how the media works and he said oh we all know how
who controls the media and he left it at that And then a slew of all the little flurrying blue check marks on Twitter
come in and like, who controls the media, Elon?
Want to extrapolate, expand on that?
Who controls the media?
The implication being Jewish people?
Yes, that's what I think they were implying.
And they got mad at him for that.
And then that initial woman, who if you read the exchange,
like she was being pretty rude to
elon and he was responding back the way someone who's performing pr would never anything like
rude uh all he even said was like i don't object to xyz that you're saying i object to journalism
that isn't accurate or honest like what you're doing right now that woman tweeted out and said
female journalists uh tweet me your worst and most reprehensible
stories including elon musk i'm writing a story about it and then and then like a little bit later
after everybody had screenshotted that she deleted it and still ended up writing a story about it
wrote a huge expose of course you know basically amounting to nothing because elon musk at the end
of the day like him or hate him or think he's a whatever.
Like he doesn't seem like he's a bad guy.
He's in South Africa.
Yeah.
He seems like a fine,
a fine guy,
probably racist.
And,
and they,
they really raked him over the coals for that.
And so he's been in a bit of a bit of hot water recently.
Well,
the stuff I've seen is more based on his cashflow statement.
He's just burning a lot of cash.
They're using that?
You think the reason it's the most shorted stock on the planet right now is some sort of liberal witch hunt?
Liberal and conservative.
He went after all media.
Because that's the only thing they could really find as a negative about him.
Because this guy doesn't grab pussies or you know talk about the
jews he doesn't go full mel gibson i don't know anything about he's barely even profitable not
even profitable as of right now that's like i don't know this guy's got like three or four
huge projects cooking it seems like it maybe he's not profitable right now maybe it never will be
but i i don't think i don't think his main goal is to build and amass a fortune because he already did that, right?
He's already got all the money.
He had a huge amount of cash.
He's got other ideas.
That's what I love about Elon Musk is his goal isn't to make his bottom line as big as possible.
It's to advance mankind with some of his crazy inventions.
The whole Boring Company is cool.
The Teslas are amazing.
And if he gets the space travel thing
and the space mining and all that stuff
down to a reasonable level,
that'll be incredible.
That'll be a whole new economy.
Yeah, I wonder,
space mining,
how does that change the world?
Are things that are currently rare not rare anymore?
It depends how cheap it is, right?
At first, it depends on how expensive it is to get that mining bot to an asteroid and then get it back.
And how many pounds of material it can bring back, right?
There'd be a math formula.
At first, the first one's probably a huge loser,
just to prove the concept.
But if he's mining, I don't know, emeralds,
or some rare earth element.
Yeah, what if he's mining...
What if they land on one, and it's like,
oh, fuck, this is all platinum.
And they get platinum, a ton of it,
back to the US or whatever, China, fuck, this is all platinum. And they get platinum, a ton of it, back to the U.S. or whatever,
you know, China, whatever country does this first.
Suddenly, if they have their own supply of platinum,
nobody gives two shits about South Africa anymore.
They don't care,
because that's where all the platinum is currently,
for the most part.
Like, that's why that's been so contested
over so many years,
people wanting to insert their influence.
Like, that could change global politics.
Or they find a whole gold,
and they just ruin the gold value? There's just no way that asteroids
are going to provide lots of good stuff.
I don't see it.
I could be crazy.
Well, you haven't thought about the space tether.
Once they've locked into the asteroid,
they fire a mithril tendril
all the way back to Earth,
and then it wraps around the Earth like a yo-yo,
and wherever it lands, that country
gets that resource. Well, you're right. I hadn't
thought about that. I stayed corrected.
Well, it landed
in the ocean once again and every nation
on Earth is preparing for another record-breaking tsunami.
That's going to be a massive thing eventually.
I mean, the asteroid mining.
Because there's lots of things that are rare here that won't be rare there for one reason or another.
It's frustrating how stupid you feel when you think about stuff that advanced.
Where you're like, they're going to land on an asteroid.
They're going to mine, get the resources out, and then ship it back.
And you're sitting here like, God damn Roku.
I know, I know.
Like, oh, are they going to do that?
And then someday I'll get YouTube videos
to play loudly on the podcast.
Episode four, not season four,
God damn it.
Oh, this new Hulu interface,
I can't get it.
It's so topsy-turvy.
I just feel like such an idiot.
Is that the premise of the Expanse
to some extent?
Are they doing asteroid mining in that show?
They are. There are three factions.
One of them are the asteroid
miners and there's a term for them.
And then there's the Martians and the Earthlings.
Yeah, that show got
canceled by SyFy and then picked up
by Amazon, right? Yeah.
Oh, so Amazon,
I love it when they pick up shows. It looks like no one's
picking up Roseanne, which is interesting.
I thought that...
That's not a bad guess.
But the way Roseanne talked about it,
she seemed to think that it wasn't going to happen.
I don't know.
Yeah, it's GG.
But Amazon's getting into home insurance,
which is not exciting, but interesting.
I think they spotted a fat cat and think they can do it better and cheaper.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Because, like, I don't know, home insurance, renter's insurance?
20 years from now, it's going to be Amazon and Walmart duking it out, having bought everything.
I've been paying for homeowners and rental insurance for 25 years now, and I don't think I've ever made a claim.
Really? Yeah. Oh. Have you made a claim. Really? Yeah.
Have you made a claim, Kyle?
Yeah.
My dad
has made many a claim.
He's had, like,
his experience with insurance
in general has been
a gold mine.
Hundreds of thousands of dollars and and claims
like like like money coming back like like he had a he had a huge building burned down one time it
was like a quarter million dollar payday he had i say pay lightning hit the place it was investigated
it was all good um like he was always having like like even in the 80s, he always liked the biggest TV possible.
And so he always had these multi-thousand dollar TVs.
I don't know, $10,000 TVs all the time.
And every time, it seemed like every time one was just about obsolete,
lightning would fucking hit it.
And he'd be like, aha!
$1,000 deductible.
But they can't replace
that TV because it's obsolete now
so they have to provide
the current model
that is like
the same thing
and so we'd end up with another
$8,000, $9,000, $10,000 TV
Kyle's father
once lost 20 expensive cigars
in a series of small fires
yeah it was great he keeps wrecking his car Kyle's father once lost 20 expensive cigars in a series of small fires.
Yeah, it was great.
He keeps wrecking his car right when they change the body style.
That's the perfect example of exactly what would happen.
And it was always lightning.
It was always lightning.
It was as if God was like, here's a little extra.
He was just taking care of us from above.
And then he's had a couple of surgeries and each of them was like you know how how like a like like certain extreme medical procedures can get at least 80 90 000 procedures when you add uh you know medical
care and like like like staying in the hospital for a few days and you know the q-tips are 35
dollars and shit like that and uh he said like two or three of those. Always, you know, that crazy
insurance. I had a big one.
When I was 17, I got into
a car accident and I broke my arm. People know this.
There was damage to the
nerve. There was a tumor growing inside
the nerve and we had to have that taken care of.
We went to a super doctor at the
University of Pennsylvania, an Ivy League
hospital thing.
The surgery was real long. It was like seven hours and I was there for like a week during the recovery and I think
from beginning to end the whole arm like fixing because it's still kind of fucked ordeal costs
like 750,000 so we had a million dollar insurance policy And I now just sort of rest at night knowing that lifetime, I think on auto insurance anyway, I'll win.
So, yeah.
Yeah, that's good.
I'm one of those guys, I guess.
I am in the hole on auto insurance.
100% so far.
Good for you.
That's probably the better spot to be.
for you that's probably the better spot to be i uh i linked this little little story earlier about a man uh it's on tricityherald.com man forced neighbors to be his chore slaves and
wouldn't let them leave washington cops say so the story is basically i'm gonna have to read some of
this verbatim because it's hilarious to me uh a 12-year-old in Centralia, Washington, he disappeared on Wednesday morning,
and he went out to start his mom's car to, I guess, warm it up or get it going
while his mom was inside getting him ready for school.
And the mom came out with her two other children, 13 and 15,
so there's a 12-, 13-, and 15-year-old, and they find the 12-year-old missing.
And so they look over into the yard adjacent and they see their kid doing yard work and they're like what the hell
is my my son doing doing yard work for the neighbor after i told them to to just start the
car and come back inside what is this and so this kid's doing yard work. They go over there and they tell Wagner, their neighbor, hey, what's going on here?
Why are you doing this?
Why are you making our kid do yard work?
And the guy goes, I came over here.
He wasn't making any sense to anybody.
So I told him to start doing something.
This guy's 29.
And they go, OK, well, he has to leave now.
And this guy goes, no, not only do i need the help of your
son i need your whole family's help right now i need you the mom i need the 15 year old and the
13 year old and the 12 year old i need all of you get in my yard in good shape like we got to go to
school and this guy is six foot nine 250 pounds and he goes no and so they continue to do yard work for him and uh they they start
complaining they go my 12 year old he's gonna miss his test he's gonna miss his test and the
six foot nine guy goes he's got a test well let's all do the pledge of allegiance and so they all
did the pledge of allegiance together and then they're standing in the yard still wanting to go
to school telling the pledge of allegiance when asked by the police the mom said we just
wanted to do anything he said he was terrifying mm-hmm almost seven foot tall
man you know in his 20s 250 pounds telling you to do yard work eventually
they were able to quote flee when he was distracted by by something else and so uh
then they came and and arrested him he had a history with burglary burglary charges in 2014
and his case says that it took five adult male cops to restrain him. He was accused of sexually assaulting a woman after going to
her hotel room uninvited.
This guy,
psychopath? Sociopath? I don't really
know the difference that well, but... Or just someone who likes
a clean yard? Well, it's
all up in the air. When you view the rest
of the population as yours
for the
exploiting, you know, whether it be
sexually or yard work.
He's totally a sociopath.
He's a,
why would anyone do drugs
when they could just mow the lawn?
Every time I hear that quote from Hank Hill,
I always also semi-apply it to Woody.
Where I imagine Woody waking up on an off day,
even when you were working,
and being like,
ah, what am I going to do?
Am I going to have a few beers by the public pool with some friends or
something am i gonna go golfing ah there's a lawnmower out there calling my name and a weed
whacker afterward like oh but i'll have to grease all the bearings i did all of these things in the
last two days of course yeah You just wake up excited.
Oh, I'm going to have to grease the bearings first, Bobby.
But dad, I want to do...
And then he just does his shit.
I need to work on...
It's not PKA content, but I'm mowing
and I hear this high-pitched jingling
and I'm like, fuck, you know?
Are my bearings rubbing?
I don't know what's going on.
I grease every bearing on a batwing mower
and there's like 18 of them or something. I don't know, there's a lot. And't know what's going on. I grease every bearing on a batwing mower. And there's like 18 of them or something.
There's a lot.
And then it's still going on.
It turns out I was dragging a chain and I just fucked up.
Do you grease them until the grease comes out, right?
Yeah, I have an electric grease gun by Milwaukee to make it easy.
Yeah, we often use the pneumatic one.
The same concept, though.
I found it fun.
I enjoyed greasing
the bearings on like a like a full like tractor and its attachment there'd be like like you said
30 including the tractor something crazy and like every time you thought you were done you're like
oh look under here oh yeah another one and you grease and until the grease like shoots out the
sides you're like yeah got you full you whore it's good and slippy when the
grease comes out the sides the dirt collects on the grease there and a dirty grease area that's
how you know a guy maintains his equipment well if it's all clean and wiped down that's not actually
what you're looking for i want you nasty i've got a video here uh This is called Loudmouth Bully Gets Owned.
Owned by a member of Navy SEAL Team 6.
You know, sometimes...
How do you claim that?
You just get unlucky, right?
You know, you just...
When keeping it real goes wrong.
I don't know why the audio is so quiet on this show.
I know it was quiet last show, so I, like, tested it, listened to it,
everything was fine, and then I started OBS, and suddenly it's quiet again.
I don't know.
But we'll do our best.
Maybe we can commentate it a bit, help out with it.
Yeah, it's just a fight video.
I'm not sure what they're happening will have anything to do with it,
or what they're saying, rather.
All right.
Ready, set, play.
So there's a guy with his shirt off.
He's kind of stumbling.
He might be drunk or something.
They're on the subway.
He's already tried to attack one guy.
The other guy's using a bike to hold him off.
He's just walking from one end of the subway car to the other.
Looking for trouble.
Looking for trouble.
He's...
They're holding the bike at him. looking for trouble he's seems to think so there's a guy who's sort of standing
up to him not intimidated but he doesn't look like a member of SEAL Team six
looks like a guy who's just you know not inclined to get pushed around that guy
does out of nowhere a bearded man has put him
in a chokehold, and he is
choking this guy the fuck out.
Yeah. And our asshole
is unconscious.
He's not done.
He's not done? No.
I guess
the video's only halfway through. He looks
finished. Nah. He's standing halfway through. He looks finished.
Nah, you stay right there.
He's put his foot on the guy's chest and he's just holding him there.
And this guy is huge.
He's a big boy.
But athletic.
He looks like
he can run and jump and fight.
He can clearly fight.
Oh.
So over what I think is the loud
speaker I heard, the sheriffs are on their way.
He's just, he's got like a
hero pose.
The guy on the ground, I don't think
he's that trapped. That's not a very good
detainment, like a single foot on a guy's chest.
But he's got his hand on the pole, and I think he's leveraging his core and his leg.
And plus, he's twice this guy's size.
I don't think he's being held down physically.
He's still breathing under that foot.
I think he's being intimidated down, if that makes any sense.
The fact is, he knows that if he gets up, there's nothing good that's going to happen.
No.
All he knows is I was talking shit, and I woke up with the foot of a giant corn-fed boy
with arms the size of my quads on top of me, and so I'm going to lay still.
Yeah.
I like that.
You know the choke where you just put your hand on someone's throat and hold them against a wall?
That is a very easy choke to break.
You can knock it off.
You can turn your head.
It doesn't pin the guy at all.
I feel like that foot-on-chest maneuver,
there's a reason you never see that in a fight ever.
You could just roll over in bed and break that hole.
That's true.
But he probably didn't want to risk the fact that if he starts to try and roll over
that guy may just lift that other leg up and break his ribs oh the guy's probably got a dozen good
ideas you know none of them being good for the guy on the ground yeah yeah he's probably like
i wonder what he's gonna try man i hope he does this no but i'll probably do that oh i haven't
had much this much fun since lucha i wonder what he's saying to him. He's like, you got a weapon? Because now's the time
to go for it. Go for it. Go for it.
You got a knife? He's like taking his own knife out.
Don't pick up this knife.
Here, I'll open it for you. Don't pick up that knife.
I haven't had a knife fight in years.
Weeks, even.
What is this, Wednesday? I guess I'm lying.
I like that.
That joke was so tight.
There was no wiggle room for that guy.
He was unconscious in like 10 seconds, for sure.
Have you seen the video of the man that pushes the kid?
I like that.
Oh, yeah.
I didn't feel like he hurt the kid bad enough.
Yeah, I'm with you.
So there's a kid.
I don't know how old he is, but I'm going to call him a kind of husky 13-year-old.
And he's abusing what I think is a store manager.
Kyle, tell me if you know more about the context.
I don't know what the guy's position in the world was, but he's a short fellow, heavy set with a beard.
He's
only maybe
four or five inches taller than the child,
but he's a grown-ass man
and he's thick and he's wide
and he's heavy set and he
is just absorbing a ton
of abuse from this kid. This kid is
all in his face, punching
him, pushing him,
trying to bully him like he's also a child.
And then it gets to a point
where he's just not going to take any more shit.
That's hilarious.
I have a video, but it's a shitty one.
Someone took
a screenshot of their phone and put it on.
Oh, that's awful. Let me see if I can do...
Oh, I hate when people do that.
Why even bother uploading it
Wait for someone else to do it competently
You're just gonna wow that's yeah, yeah, yeah, I I found the same one when my first search result
Um
Haven't found a better one yet.
Oh, I found one that's worse.
How is that possible?
Did someone re-download that and then re-upload it?
This would be good on my channel.
I mean, this initial one, I just watched the first one second because I clicked for the timestamp. It doesn't look that terrible.
I don't know. At least it i don't know is the one you like the worst one you found kyle yeah why would you like the worst one let's just watch mine i got it time stamped all right i'm
ready at woody's 127 yep all right three two one play so what you've got here is a kid pushing a guy and he just seems
like he's just trying to walk past the guy's got his hands in his pockets right and the kid is
punching him now he took a shot of his head and the guy still let him get away with it he pushed
him in the chest the guy one-handed grabs him by the throat and pushes him down.
Nothing wrong with that.
Listen to the squealing.
Oh, God.
The kid turned from bully to pussy in an instant.
I'm going to let you know right now.
If it's just me and the kid, and I know there aren't any cameras,
I throw him a beating, and I know there aren't any cameras, I throw him a beating.
And I steal his shoes.
Take his shirt.
That kid should be embarrassed of that body.
Let everyone see it.
That kid gets an actual beating if I'm there and no one else is there. The timestamp almost did a disservice because there was like a minute and a
half of that of a kid pushing a guy punching at a guy just it you know what i feel like he was going
for the pussy pass right you know we've all seen women either in real life or online who try to
like beat up a guy in hopes that they're in a category where a guy won't push back.
And then, shock of all shocks,
after a minute and a half, he's had enough.
What I prefer are the girls
who have always gotten
away with swinging on guys
and they think the guy's just going to
take it. Or they think that
they could actually beat this guy up.
And then the guy
destroys them. I like And then the guy destroys them.
I like it when the guy goes
too hard. I like it
when you're like, oh, did he kill her?
Oh, shit. I mean, she hit her head hard
on that concrete.
We've all seen the video in...
For that video we just watched, I know we'll return to it.
Totally in favor of what the guy did.
That kid was being a cunt. I skipped around.
We all know the video of the mcdonald's incident where there was there were two women working
behind the counter at mcdonald's and this guy comes in and they start giving him guff and being
shitty to him and they like go over the counter and like are swinging at him and the two women
aren't working they're customers yes those the two women are swinging at him. The two women aren't working. They're customers. Yes.
The two women are working.
This guy is a customer.
You haven't seen this, Woody? I'm so sorry.
Woody might not have seen this.
The two women are jumping over
behind the counter. The guy is working
at the counter. I totally botched that.
He has it backwards. Now he's got it right.
Yeah, and then they jump over
the counter with that arrogance that you
only see from, you know,
women, where they're like,
I'm gonna step over this counter!
Nobody's gonna touch me! And this guy comes back
around from the corner with, like,
some McDonald's cooking implement?
I don't know, like a long wire.
It's like a steel rebar.
It's like a steel rebar.
It looks like back in the old days. And he starts beating the shit out of them. And he like a steel rebar. Not quite rebar. It's flimsy, but it's like steel. It looks like back in the old days.
And he starts beating the shit out of them.
And he doesn't hit them twice.
He doesn't hit them thrice.
He doesn't even stop at 15.
This guy hits them like 30 times as they're on the ground.
And, of course, you hear the classic that you hear in every, like the Wilhelm scream of fights on the internet.
You hear the woman in the background, stop it!
Stop it! Stop it!
Shut up bitch, you want some too?
Turns out he was, he just
got out of prison for manslaughter.
And those two bitches thought they were tough.
And they ended up getting the shit beat out of them by some
old, you know, fry oil
you know, fries
out of the bottom of it implemented.
I'm playing it now as taylor describes
it which is a perfect combination and what i never noticed it so he's beating the shit two
hands on what is like a car antenna but two or three times thicker and his his co-worker like
meekly tries to stop him with one hand while covering his laughing with the other hand.
Hey, could you quit that shit?
The thing he's
using looks like back in the old days when
hoods didn't stay up on their own, and you
had that little rod that you used to
hold the hood up. It's about like that.
And about that size. It's like he had that
on him. He's like, I keep this
in the back just
for situations like this i bet yeah so someone i was reading on reddit about prison fights and how
these uh uh the inmates are just absolute ass kickers and someone replied what i thought was
like it was an intelligent question i thought like what makes them such ass kickers exactly
like they're not trained uh are they extra fit like what makes
them so bad to be in a fight with and the guy's like the thing is they don't follow the normal
social norms there isn't a normal escalation into violence you know we all kind of do the dance
first you talk then you get up in their face maybe a a chest push or two, and you work your way.
You follow the rules.
Yeah.
There's a gradual escalation.
Well, no.
They go from perceived disrespect to car hood beating.
They skip all the steps in the middle.
I'm watching it again.
And he's talking to them.
He's like, oh, yeah?
You want some more?
She's like, I'm going to kick your ass.
Oh, you are?
Quack, quack, quack, quack, quack.
It looks like he's chopping brush down behind his house.
And do you know, I think the court ruled in favor of him.
Did they?
He was self-defense.
Yeah.
McDonald's fired him, but, I mean, you got a Burger King.
Oh, no.
He is smacking the shit out of these two.
I love it.
I would have loved to have seen the aftermath.
He still got his gloves on.
I want to see their bodies afterwards.
I bet they are striped up like fucking zebras because he's just wailing on them with that thing.
I love that.
That really gets me pumped.
If you get a chance, go to about 32 seconds and just enjoy the strut she puts on as she's about to get into this engagement.
As she comes over to this guy, she hops the counter and she's headed toward him like she's the baddest motherfucker in this restaurant.
Right there.
I can even see her doing the artificial throwing the shoulders in front of each other.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I'm the biggest Billy badass
in this whole McDonald's.
She comes around the corner
and just gets a face full of
whatever the hell the implement holds her
car hood up.
Literally a face full, because he's not aiming for the legs.
He's hitting them in the face, the neck,
the head, whatever he can get a hold of.
He's going for high-value targets. This guy's like seal team six
He's he's trying to take the head off the snake. It's great
Wasn't like they weathered a storm where this badass woman was like, oh
It was she comes around sees her friend who already took one right across the bow,
and she's coming down, and then she looks over, takes one swipe from, you know, the
Louisville slugger at McDonald's, and goes down, and then the guy just gives a cup of
solid wax, and it pulls away before he really unleashes on them.
Dude.
Now, the part that I don't fully agree with is when they're so beaten that they're under
the counter
You can see one of them's head pops up up on the right and she says something to him and he's like oh yeah
Yeah, all right, and he goes back to work again like he found these nuggets in my meal
to work again. There were only five nuggets in my meal.
He gave her
a 12-piece asshole, but that was great.
Do you know another great one?
I don't know
the backstory with confidence,
but in my head, there are
five women. It might happen in China
or Japan or something because everyone is
Asian. You know the one that's coming.
There's five girls beating up one girl.
And then when I saw it, it's to the theme of I Need a Hero.
And the guy comes flying in with a dropkick, if I remember correctly.
Instantly ones down.
And he starts beating the fuck out of these girls like they were men.
But there's five of them.
So you're like, can one guy beat five women?
Yes.
You've got to take an eight.
Yeah.
I don't know what that number.
You know how we often question, like, how many 10-year-olds can you beat up?
It's there with, like, I don't know, what are the K-pop girls, too, right?
How many K-pop girls can you beat up?
More than five, it would seem.
Oh, shit.
All right, I've got one that's not as funny,
but it's just a man beating up a lot of women.
So I'm not even sure if I should watch this one
because I got the giggles from the one that's justified
and then i'm watching this one and i still got the giggles a little but it's fucked up
i want to say before we watch this
let's cue it zero uh i'm ready this is funny because it's a a video of, I think, a projection.
It's not great.
Ready, set, play.
Bam!
All right, so there's no audio.
Oh, no.
He immediately punches the dude, and the dude is out.
Oh. And then the girlfriend talked a little shit, so he's going at her like a Mike Tyson video game.
Is that what happened?
Yes, that's exactly what happened.
He knocked her boyfriend out.
She talked some shit.
Now he's KO'd her a second time.
Now he kicks her with his Timberland boots.
That's why you wear those.
Oh, please.
Now this girl has come out like, come on, guys, stop it.
He's like, oh, yeah.
And he knocks her out as she's walking away.
Oh, my God.
Stay down.
He hit her so hard her head bounced off the wall.
And now he's kicking the shit out of the dude some more.
The big girl he punched might be dead.
Yeah, the big girl.
There's blood on the ground.
Or maybe, I can't tell.
He just cleared the hallway.
I need to see the genesis of this again.
Alright, alright.
See, it's not impressive to clear a hallway when you sucker punch
a guy in the jaw,
and then you beat the shit out of his little girlfriend,
and then a big fat woman
lumbers down the hallway to go,
hey, stop fighting!
And then you go, oh,
you better get out of my face, and she goes,
stop fighting! And then she turns to walk away
and you go, yeah, yeah, yeah!
And then you swing and play the
knockout game and you knock her out right onto the floor that guy should be in prison you know
what i hope he runs into a brock lesnar motherfucker with a giant swastika on his chest
next time he's in the in the clink and he gets his own comeuppance or one of those ms13 fuckers
yeah this this the guy's girlfriend, the pretty one,
needs to stay down.
Because she gets knocked out like three times.
Yeah.
Alright, so I'm watching it again.
The big girl does come in with some
attitude at first.
But she gets hit with... She didn't deserve that
kind of whooping. And the little girl...
I've lost count. She might be on her
third knockdown now
and i yeah that's a that's an instant dq
the ref should have stopped this a while ago yeah three knockdown rule come on
i i blame mazagati she keeps getting up and talking shit there's the one uppercut when she's
down and he like grabs her ponytail and like this guy is swinging for the
for the for the fences he's swinging as hard as he can i'd love to know what happened because he's
so upset it's the way that you fight when you know the other person has no chance like you told me
like like if i was fighting an 11 year old girl and they're like if you don't kill this person
and in a minute your entire family in the other room,
they're all going to be executed.
It's the way you would go like that.
There's no thought of defense.
It's just haymakers and trying to break their skull on your knee
or whatever you would have to do.
That's what this guy's doing.
He's a maniac.
He should be in prison.
Yeah.
It doesn't matter what the hell you say to someone. Yeah, it doesn't matter what you say. It doesn't matter if someone't matter what the hell it's on video to someone yeah it
doesn't matter what you say it doesn't matter if someone said the most offensive thing imaginable
if they constructed the perfect sentence of offense it doesn't matter you don't just get
to beat the shit out of people i disagree i disagree okay well let's go live in your society
woody it's gonna be fucking mad mad oh no people will want you know what my society has a lot less lip tailor
you know what i would love to see you in your your society you got like three wins under your
belt and then you say something that's a little offensive to some george saint pierre guy at a
bar oh no no no you misunderstand my society no no it's this it because what you said was
it doesn't matter what you say you You can do the most offensive thing possible.
And there should never be any physical repercussions.
Meaning what?
Like I get away with anything so long as it's verbal?
No, I disagree.
I think that if you go hard enough in there, right?
If you're relentless enough with the lip, escalation is justified.
The Sean Connery way because like if it's just
you at a bar and there's someone being shitty you can always leave you don't have to escalate into
a fight if you're in prison and you have to establish that you don't want to take you know
dick in the ass for the next you know 7 to 12 or whatever then yeah maybe you have to do it but if
you're out in public like there really isn't an excuse to do it. So let's say I'm at the bar, and for no reason, I'm super shitty to you.
Just over the top, right?
Making things up, going in on you, insulting you, ruining your good time.
And your required retaliation is just to get up and leave?
And people say Woody's off-putting.
required retaliation is just to get up and leave and and people say what he's off putting i mean i think that i would wait until someone escalated to physicality with me
now i would try to i i just like the idea that you can say and do anything and make part of them
i'm pretty good at verbal battles the idea that you can say and do anything and it never has to
escalate like you always what i feel like is get away to it.
Get away with it. You know, just nonstop.
I think that's bullshit.
I think that there is a level.
I think you should be able to say whatever you want.
Yeah.
I don't think you should resort to fists because you don't like what someone said.
But that will never happen in the world.
I just don't.
Ideally, it shouldn't happen.
Let's see what the great Sean Connery thinks about all this.
This is one of my favorite sean connery thinks about all this this is this is one of
my favorite sean connery clips we're doing so many videos and the video audio sucks
let's not do too many more yeah i can't even hear it really yeah which means they can't hear it
right well basically kyle just do the whole thing barbara walters is like you know i i
saw this i saw an old story where you said that it was okay to sometimes hit a woman yes yes i did
say that well how do you feel about that now oh my opinions haven't changed sometimes a woman is
just being so provocative so engaging engaging, and you give her
her say, and that's just not enough,
and then she comes again.
In that case, I think a slap
in the face is warranted.
That usually shuts them up.
And there's this moment where he's almost like
saying to Barbara Walters
that perhaps
you're getting close to that line.
Maybe we should move on to another subject.
Perhaps we stop this interview.
Let's talk about James Bond some more.
Like a little slap across the face, Barbara.
Now, in this context, it appears to be hitting your wife,
so I can't really get on board with that.
Any woman. No, any woman.
I don't know why I put it on wives but maybe that's
telling but but yeah i just feel like you know you can't come up to someone and start jawing at them
thinking that you're bulletproof what you shouldn't think you're well this is why i think
most people don't just show up and start jawing at people because you know they don't first of all
you don't want to do that it makes you kind of an asshole and unlikable but also people know there's a threat of physical repercussion
which i guess is good it makes people more polite but what what are the what's a phrase or maybe a
sentence or a topic i guess woody that if you were in the bar you're having your your your cream and
kalua sitting there throwing it back like a cowboy cowboy. And then some asshole comes up to me and says, I don't think your color correction is very good.
Well, I've had enough of that gentleman, and I would take him down.
Now, what actual things would they have to say before you were like,
How stupid would I have to fucking be to put my most sensitive topics on this podcast?
What do you think the subreddit will look like?
Oh, you're right. I didn't think about that.
That is a trap, Taylor.
Yeah, true.
That's true. Don't tell people
the sentences you most hate.
Yeah, right?
That's a starter lawnmower.
I'm going to go with the Kyle thing.
You know what? That picture?
The one where I look fantastic?
Oh, I hate that one.
That's the worst.
Well, Kyle's quite a hit in the LGBT community now.
Yeah, that's funny.
I'm going to turn my AC down.
I'm melting.
Be right back.
I absolutely do hate that picture.
And can't make him understand that for some reason.
Follow me on Twitter if you want to see that picture.
Fuck you! You shut up!
You shut up for your Twitter!
You fucker!
You fuck!
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Huh.
I could use a little style help, maybe.
I always hear I dress like a pretty well-dressed middle schooler.
But my wife likes it, so, yeah.
Well, maybe.
You're the coolest kid in carpool with that shirt.
Shit.
This is bad timing.
But, yeah, I could use some styling help.
Maybe.
Hollis is still in?
Not according to the viewers of this show.
I know.
That was a joke.
Ah.
Now you've found my most sensitive topic.
That's when I start fighting.
Hey, that Hollister polo is old-fashioned.
Okay.
All right, buddy boy.
I'm going to step outside.
Let me take my Hollister shirt off.
Don't want to ruin this bad boy.
I have a whole array of them now.
She just bought like four t-shirts
with the little logo on it.
And I think they fit nice,
but I'm sure I'll get feedback.
Do you...
I feel like we all have a pretty consistent
style on the show.
Is that reflected in your real life?
Like you wear the same stuff on the show as real life?
Yeah, I wear a lot of button-ups.
Probably like 40% button-up, 40% polo, and like 20% graphic tees with an accessory of some kind.
Like some kind of a jacket or something to go with it.
I don't ever wear hats.
You wear a lot of jackets.
Or maybe the same couple jackets.
Yeah, I've got a lot of jackets.
I guess I've got eight or nine
jackets that are all kind of...
I really like
the Dean guy from Supernatural.
His kind of style.
I like all the jackets that he wears. They're often kind of like a faux military kind of style um i like all the jackets that he wears
they're often kind of like a faux military kind of thing where they got like the little uh
grabby things on the shoulders and stuff like those are i uh i like how that looks members
only a lot of those no um not that um not a 55 year old pedophile pedophile. And I picked out a jacket one time at Neiman Marcus or somewhere like that.
And it was like a $900 jacket.
And I had already bought the thing.
And we got back to the hotel, and it was like me and White Boy and Kelly.
And Kitty was there and somebody else.
And I pulled that bad boy out.
And they were all like, you look like a
pedophile. You look
like a pedophile. It was like this
camel hair trench
coat that I had gotten. Like not a
trench coat. It was like a long coat. You bought a
camel hair trench coat? Get off.
Just simmer down.
And I was like... They didn't't have panda and we had to return them the next day
because it did uh it did not it did not suit me it did not suit me does it look anything like this
because if it did i have a hard time believing it didn't suit you
the most stylish pedophile in the entire city well first, first of all, that's a woman's coat. They only have women's.
Mine was for men.
It was a little tight, and the buttons were on the left,
but I figured that's just the European style.
No, I didn't pull a Michael Scott.
It was a man's coat.
It didn't look like that.
Was it that color?
Did the material resemble that at all?
It was, yes.
That color and that kind of material.
And I looked a little bit like Inspector Gadget.
I really feel like my wife's capes are no longer the silliest thing on the show.
Oh, please.
Those capes are the silliest thing on the show.
She rocks a cape, man.
You got to have some confidence, but I like it.
You know what so i i read i might
have said this already but i read that um when you're in love with somebody that you find that
person more attractive than the rest of the world does and my wife is like so we could be completely
hideous and have no idea i guess so but uh but yeah i like her in the capes fuck it so that is
definitely a thing where you don't find a particular
trait or article of clothing attractive
on people and then you meet a girl who you really care
about that wears that or does that
and you're like, I guess it's not so bad.
But it's exactly what you said. It's just you
rationalizing your own love or care
for that person with their terrible
decisions with fashion.
I'm totally not on board with that.
I like the capes.
Hence, what Taylor just said.
Go back to step one.
No, no, Taylor's like, it's terrible, but you rationalize it.
I'm like, no, it's awesome. You guys just don't know.
Do you ever in public see couples
that are so ugly that it makes you feel kind of warm and fuzzy inside where you're like, oh, they found each other.
Even the worst among us can find a partner.
Because here's the thing about those couples.
Both of them know that the other person is hideous and they know by that very basis that they are hideous.
They're like, I had to settle for this and he had to settle for
me and they both know what's up there's no way they're both like oh yeah he's so good looking
unless they're like retarded or something and we're we're not counting those people we're not
counting the absolute morons who are just like like yeah he's cute i like i like those cigarette
burns on his shirt that's so hot he falls asleep smoking i like how he's severely
overweight taylor does your style on the show represent your style in real life the question
you were asking oh yeah you're right good good roundabout there uh no not as much i dress nicer
in real life for the most part than i do here. Like I'll come home wearing nicer clothes and be like, oh, PKA time. Let's go grab some pajama pants and whatever t-shirt I pull out of the closet and do
that. Maybe I should dress nicer. I'm the opposite. In real life? So often my day-to-day life involves
being yucky. Like I think we mowed yesterday. So that was a thing. The day before I fixed my paramotor, I had to do a top end,
rebuild it,
uh,
rebuild on it.
I,
I lift weights in our little home gym there.
And it just seems like every day I get dressed,
I have like a rack full of fairly new clothes.
And I go to the shelf with the rotten old shirts because I don't know,
you know,
that it's a rotten shirt day.
I'm going to be doing something sweaty or dirty or greasy or whatever. And then, uh, for the show, oftentimes like, all right, you know, that it's a rotten shirt day. I'm going to be doing something sweaty or dirty or greasy or whatever.
And then for the show, oftentimes like, all right, you know,
I'm showering at like whatever,
5 p.m. and throwing on a polo to look nicer for the show than I do all day.
Yeah.
Yeah, I look a little worse than I do all day on the show generally.
Why wouldn't you just stay in your nicer thing?
Less comfy?
I don't know what it is. When I get home
and I know I'm not leaving for the rest of the evening,
I immediately just
strip naked
of everything I was wearing, throw it all in the dirty clothes,
and then I pick out my comfy clothes for the
evening, and then I come out here, hook up the mic,
and start talking.
As you see um not only is
rick leaving the walking dead but maggie is as well yeah she's the leader of the hilltop she
was married to glenn the guy who was murdered short-haired white chick um she's pretty
so they're working out a 20 million dollar deal with norman reedus, I read that, and I... I used to like Daryl, the character.
Yes. But in the last
season or two, he's been
awful. Just, like,
I can hardly tolerate him. Every
scene he's in is stupid.
All his... Everything he says
is dumb. You know,
there was one scene that made... infuriated
me in particular, where the old
leader of Hilltop, his name might be Gregory,
was consistently
saying, I don't think we should do this. I think
we should reason with Neiman.
What the hell's the guy's name?
The big bad guy. Neiman? I don't
think so. What is his real name?
Negan. Negan, thank you.
That's not good behavior,
Kyle. Almost got him. I would have been great if I got you to call him Neiman.
No, we set each other up for success.
We don't try to embarrass one another.
We keep going Neiman for months.
So I'm a much better friend to you than Reverse.
Walking dead.
Neiman.
So anyway, he's consistently not liking Negan.
And Daryl's line is, you're talking out of both sides of your mouth, man.
And I'm like, you stupid fuck.
You stupid, stupid, stupid fuck.
He's not.
He's not talking out of both sides.
He's being very consistent in his messaging.
You might not like his message, but you're an idiot.
The thing is, he's not responsible for his lines, right?
He's just saying what the script is.
Maybe he can be good again like he was years
ago. They'll just start writing better
for him. No, I'm done with the show.
I'm glad Rick's leaving. This will be the last season that I
ever watch. I like Norman
Reedus. I fucking love Boondock
Saints. I've watched Boondock Saints
a dozen times or something like that.
I've liked
him ever since I saw that movie.
But I'm not going to continue watching the show.
I'm glad that he's financially set for the rest of his life and all that stuff.
I've been to his restaurant.
I've been down there to Sonoa, Georgia, where all of that Walking Dead shit is.
And down to Griffin, where all the Walking Dead shit is shot.
And seen the zombies walking down the street and stuff.
He's got a place there. I think a lot of them have
invested in real estate there, so that's cool.
I'm done with that show.
I'm glad.
I really want to see it fail badly.
I hope that the ratings drop to
abysmal levels. I'd love to see it
get cancelled.
That'd be wonderful.
They've got the fear the walking dead i don't
care about that even a little bit especially don't give a shit that the black guy is like
switching over to that show the blonde the um morgan and i don't care that he's leaving uh
that shows what what a failure fear the walking dead is i've never seen an episode. It sucks. It's better. I don't watch it.
Oh, okay.
But I don't watch it.
I've seen bits and pieces of it, and I'm not into it.
Yeah, I've never...
Yeah.
I've never seen the spinoff.
I don't know.
Oftentimes, I say, you know, it's not that the show got worse.
It's just that we've seen it too many times.
How I Met Your Mother is my perfect
example of that. I think How I Met Your
Mother was pretty consistent in its
quality through most of the years,
but that the world says it dropped in quality
and really, they just had
seen it too many, nine years of the same
thing and they had had enough.
I watched like three
episodes of that show and the fact that
Ted, that, no, I probably watched like 10, 12 episodes of that show and the fact that Ted that no I probably watched like 10
12 episodes of that show I hate Ted
every time he was on screen I wanted him
to have an aneurysm you know
when he went to the doctor for like jokey scenes
I was hoping he'd be diagnosed with something horrific
I hated how he grew into
Bob Saget and he just
so he just talks as Bob Saget
and it's like you're already an adult man
this is like I heard someone make a joke about this point maybe the comedian
a few years ago they was like oh why did that guy how did he grow into bob saget it's like no that's
true that's not just a silly joke it's like doesn't that pull you out of it knowing that like
he's a 40 year old guy talking and then the 56 year old version of him is like now back then that
was me i was someone
totally different like just talk it just a wholly wholly different voice like that oh it didn't get
under your skin a little bit oh i didn't think of that at all yeah i didn't even follow what you
were saying that was bob saget doing the voiceover i have no idea he grew into bob saget over the
course of the last 12 years of his life he grew into into Bob Saget, and I don't care for that.
That makes a lot of sense.
Avengers.
A lot of people think the current Avengers movie is not as good as Civil War or the first Avengers.
I think it's about the same as those.
It's just that the third time around, they have to keep stepping up their game just to stay level.
I thought Civil War was bad.
I didn't like it very much.
Oh, I did.
The first one was great. The first Avengers movie was bad. I didn't like it very much. The first one was great.
The first Avengers movie was amazing.
I liked Age of Ultron.
I liked that James Spader is Ultron.
That's hilarious. There's this re-edit
we can't watch it, I guess,
where they take some
of James Spader's lines
from The Office
and then they have Ultron saying them. They just lip sync
it together with Ultron interacting with
the Avengers, and he's like,
you don't even know my real name.
I'm the fucking lizard man.
And it's hilarious. It's hilarious to see
the office lines come through
Ultron's body.
And, you know, because the voice matches. It's
fucking James Spader.
You didn't know James Spader. Oh, it is.
You didn't know James Spader was Ultron?
I've never seen it.
There you go.
That'll do it.
But with The Walking Dead,
I don't think that it's a case of the show staying level
and I'm tiring of it.
I think it's actually getting significantly worse.
Totally.
Yeah, they're just bringing the suck.
Which is a shame, because
the season where they met Negan
at the end of it was as good as anything
on TV. Well, almost
as good.
That was a great
episode.
I loved that episode.
That's one of the best episodes ever.
I really like the episode where Carl almost gets raped. That's one of the best episodes ever. I really like the episode where Carl almost gets raped.
That's one of my favorite episodes.
It was similar in a lot of ways with the intensity.
Was it right before it?
When was that?
It's like season five.
Okay.
Late season five, maybe.
I forgot about that, I guess.
Yeah, we've talked about this before, and then we watched the video.
Carl almost gets raped. The guy's gonna
fuck Carl, make Rick watch.
Rick's being held at gunpoint and they're like
get out of it and Rick goes into
crazy mode and
they're like, he's mine.
And he goes and gets the rapist with a knife
and it disembowels
him. It's good stuff. I should rewatch
it. My wife rewatch it.
My wife painted a painting.
Do you guys want to see it?
Sure. Is she ready for the internet to see it?
She probably doesn't check the forums.
She doesn't.
You be the judge.
I think it's really good.
Taylor might hate it because it's Marvel-related.
No, I identify as a high-ranking art critic
for the next five minutes, I identify as.
It'll be one minute.
I hope it's one of those vagina pictures that kind of looks like a vagina.
And he couldn't tell that it was a vagina.
I hope that it's really abstract, but when you look at it cross-eyed,
there's a man on a lawnmower drowning or something like that.
Or like a paramotor on fire or something.
There's something mysterious
on fire up here. I don't know what that could be.
It's got a fan on it, though.
Oh, shit.
Fanning the flames? Some sort of symbolism?
Yes.
Alright, let's see this sucker.
Oh, wow!
Wait, what? Wait a minute. Is this a paint by numbers? It is. She what wait a minute is this a paint by numbers it is
she thinks it's nothing because it's paint by numbers but i think i don't know i think it's
kind of cool oh you should have lied to us right there and i would have bought it for sure i
wouldn't have bought i would have been like well she's an incredibly talented artist, Woody. What the hell? You get off the show.
Get her on it.
It's paid by numbers, so she's like,
oh, it's nothing.
We were like, oh, I wonder if it's going to be
one of those vagina pictures
that is supposed to be like a tulip,
but it looks like a pussy, or some abstract shit
or something. No, this is way better
than what I was expecting.
Yeah, I thought it was pretty cool.
Could you get it a little closer to the camera?
I can see it fine.
I'm just wondering if I can see maybe some detail
or brush strokes or something like that.
I don't know.
I love it.
For those of you who are listening,
you fucked up because I'm not even going to tell you what it is.
It's the superhero gang.
You got Iron Man.
You got Captain America
you have Scarlett Johansson
you have
Lightning Rod
you've got
you've got all the hits
all the classics they're all here
you've got Archer
Archer yeah
there's a new season of that, right?
It's on TV now, I think
That is the one that sponsored us
Archer Danger Island
That is
Is it currently ongoing?
Yes, from what I understand
They are on an island
It's another dream sequence
season, which we all
love
I love it so much that I'm waiting until the very end of the series to watch it.
I think I'll do that too, but I actually like Archer still.
I'm just being a cunt for the most part.
I like even the shitty seasons of Archer.
I'll still sit there and watch them.
They're funny.
I like them.
That last season of Archer.
The cocaine one was the one that sucked. I love that. They're funny. I like them. The cocaine one was the one that
sucked. I love that. I enjoyed it.
I like Pam being hot. I was
hoping she'd stay hot. I liked that.
I liked it. I like when Pam got hot
and super strong and coked up.
She was hot and she was slutty too, right?
Of course. She's always been slutty.
The cocaine just made her more slutty.
Hot, slutty women are amongst
my favorite.
Two thumbs up.
Fair enough.
If they have access to coke, more power to them.
The last season was just awful.
I feel like if I'm IMDB scoring all the seasons of Archer,
they're all like sevens and eights in my personal opinion.
I think the writing's excellent.
I think it's very funny.
And then came the Archer private investigator season
where he's in a coma dream sequence
and all of the characters are in different
positions. None of them are
who they are. His mother isn't his mother.
She's like a crime boss or something.
Lana isn't Lana. They're all just different people
being played by their characters or whatever. whatever you you know it's weird because it's a
cartoon um i despise that that's a two or three to me it wasn't funny at all i i hated it i hated
it so much and um this new season also a dream sequence so sequence but you haven't seen it yet
I watched
some of it on
FXX
it was a huge hit and we'd be happy to have him back
as a sponsor for any episode
yeah
that
I'm glad it's on
I hate dream sequences
look I know it's a cartoon but it's the cartoon with continuity, right?
It's the concert is the cartoon where he's, but he still has that Seamus tattoo on his,
on his back from like, to is to night is right.
You know, like, like, so when you do an episode, an entire season of a show where there are
no consequences, literally none none because it's all in
his head he's just dreaming it i i i've just checked the fuck out i i don't give a shit and
and and to to make it even worse it wasn't funny it was poorly written wasn't funny at all and when
you take the characters out of their locked in positions of funny and try to like make them a
new thing you lose what you've built over the last
five or six years.
It really makes me angry
and upset that they would do that
to one of my favorite shows.
It's in my top ten favorite
shows that are ongoing that I watch
for sure. I love Archer. I loved
Archer. I loved it.
I still like it.
I still think it's a good show. I think it's
fell off a bit, but it's
still good. This spring didn't seem to have
good enough television for me.
Like, you know,
it's Sweeps Week, right? In April
and May, something like that?
Usually you get, like, your Better Call Saul
and your top tier shows.
I don't recall anything.
Yeah. The Terror? The Terror came out. I don't recall anything. Yeah.
The Terror?
The Terror came out.
I liked The Terror.
Did you ever finish it?
I did.
I did.
Yeah.
And it's fun.
I liked that ending.
Yeah.
I kept wondering, like, who lives, who dies, et cetera, et cetera.
And you're like, they tell you at the beginning they all die.
And I was like, but I don't trust that.
I don't trust that.
There's 10 hours of content to watch
and uh good ending good ending more death than i thought actually a whole lot of death i i like
that you finally got to see the monster like really up close and personal and see what it was
i loved like the the doctor or the first mate whatever whatever he was, the cool guy, his tactic for taking the monster out.
He takes a rope and he's like, I need 40 forks and about 30 feet of rope.
And they're like, what are you going to do?
And he's bending the forks around the rope and then wrapping it all around his body so that he's like a porcupine.
So when the thing eats him, he's make he's gonna make it sick when it comes to get him he's like hey you are you big son of a bitch man this guy was
really was the best character in the whole show he went out he went out like
a gangster it was that was very. I liked that a lot.
Yeah.
Is that show you guys like, The Terror?
Is that done with its first season now?
There's only going to be one season.
Oh, is it done with the run? The answer is yes, but you can binge watch it.
Okay, then I need to jump into it now.
I find the middle of it
bogged down a touch, in my opinion.
Yeah, it gets slow at times.
Don't spoil any end stuff, because I am going to watch this.
For sure.
The only thing is, like what he said,
there are episodes where 60% of the episode is just sort of a lull,
and then the end sort of spikes with like,
oh shit, oh shit, and then the episode's over.
There are some episodes that are
uh slow and uh just about the drudgery of of being in the miserable situation they really hammer home
how miserable and bleak their outlook is and you know the higher ups of course know more than the
underlings and they sort of try to uh protect them from the from the the truth of how bleak
their situation is every time they find something that's gone wrong um or they start counting up the
the amount of food or supplies or the distances they may or may not have to cover to get to safety
they're like oh let's let's keep this between us just in this room we don't need to tell anyone
and there's always someone someone listening at the door,
freaking out because they've heard the secret or whatever.
It's good stuff.
Good characters.
Miserable existence.
I'm excited to give it a go because you guys have been pretty into it.
And most of your feedback has been positive.
Yeah, I liked it.
Yeah, it is what we said.
There's a little slow in the middle, but it's a new story.
And I don't know any other show quite like it.
Yeah, and it's a true story.
So as far as the fact that some boats went up there and they found the boats,
but all of the men who were on the boats were never found.
And what must have happened is they got stuck in the ice
and then they tried to escape on foot and they never found any of those men.
That's a that happened, apparently.
Well, fuck.
Yeah.
That's no good.
No, you don't be a sailor.
Did you guys see Israel respond to Iran over Twitter?
I did.
Who's in charge of Israel's Twitter account?
Because they are hilarious.
They're fantastic, though.
Yeah.
So I'm trying to get the exact tweet pulled up here.
My thing is loading slow.
They used a Mean Girls meme.
It's the blonde girl.
She's saying... why are you so obsessed
with me i think why are you so obsessed with me yeah i have it on my screen now yeah basically uh
so uh let's i'm trying to read who this is from kamini kamini our stance against israel is the
same as it's always taken israel is a malignant, cancerous tumor
in the West Asian region that has to be
removed and eradicated. It is
possible and it will happen.
And then Israel comes back and says,
why are you so obsessed with me?
In a Mean Girls tweet.
Yeah, I
like it. I feel like there should be more
Twitter diplomacy because I enjoy
it. I'm a big fan. I feel like there should be more Twitter diplomacy because I enjoy it.
I'm a big fan.
I mean, Donald Trump solved the Korean War with Twitter
diplomacy.
Can't argue with that.
That's what we need. More memes and gifs
sent between sovereign nations.
Wherever they can all send to Iran.
You know, Yemen
can send Saudi Arabia a big frowny
face for the years of bombing and massacring and murdering women and children they'll send
two thumbs down two thumbs down emojis or maybe like uh or maybe like a sassy black woman going
like that kind of thing those are huge on twitter. I want to see Donald Trump start using some Star Wars memes,
like the Emperor going, unlimited power!
And he's got the lightning coming out of his hands.
Nothing made me laugh as hard at Trump's Twitter
than when someone photoshopped that wrestling gif
he did with Vince McMahon, and he put CNN on it.
And the gif was funny
but what made it funnier was that it's a man in his 70s tweeting a gif what made it funnier than
that is that it's Donald Trump what made it funnier than that is that he's president and
what made it funnier still is the number of people who were like taking this like really seriously like does this mean trump plans
an all-out attack on the cnn corporation and it's like no it's a gif yeah a gif of of just
10 layers of ridiculousness just laugh you're right and i tried i i have i do my best to avoid
getting upset with trump over stupid shit right right? If you have a problem with his
tax plan or that giant spending
or the removal of regulations
so that financial advisors no longer
have to represent the best interests of their clients,
shit like that, then that's real. That's fine. Do
what you want. Don't get upset
over CNN, Twitter bullshit.
You know, the images and gifs. However,
he has me upset about this, and it's
semi-stupid the whole
philadelphia eagles thing have you guys followed this at all yes all right so um if you're not
american you may not know that when a team wins the stanley cup super bowl world series etc they
get invited to go to the white house well a lot of eagles weren't going to make it i think because
they don't like trump and that's unusual. Usually almost the whole team comes regardless of whether or not you support that president.
But this year, a bunch of eagles weren't going to come.
And I think the truth is Trump didn't want to host whatever a third or a half of the team and have like a small quorum and look unsupported.
I think that's the actual truth behind it.
Sure. the actual truth behind it. So the lie is Trump cancels
it and says, I don't want to meet with
these people because they
kneel during the national anthem.
That's horseshit. There wasn't a
single eagle during the
whole regular season or postseason
that kneeled during the national anthem.
But Fox News backs up
the Trump story. And it turns out there's a bunch
of Christians on the Eagles and they would kneel
in the end zone before the
game and pray together not during the
national anthem but they would take a quiet moment
Fox had to redact that story
they're like we're so sorry this is a
they did it like in a tweet when no one
saw or maybe they put it in on their website
or something they didn't really run it during
Hannity's thing as an apology or anything
like that.
They just kind of quietly tucked in their little like, oopsie daisy.
Like all these news liars tend to do.
Yeah, we accidentally posted a picture of the Christians praying
and acted like they were kneeling during the national anthem.
Could have happened to anyone.
We're really not biased.
So then the news gets out that that's fake.
Fox does their thing and this and that so trump
tweets again and says you know what i find that staying in the locker room during the national
anthem is just as disrespectful as kneeling during it which might make you think that happened but it
didn't not one person during any game during the regular or postseason stayed in the locker room but trump is waging this
divisive disinformation campaign you just have to call them lies about people staying in the
locker room or kneeling during the national anthem as the reason that he's disinviting them
when people did stay in the locker room didn't they but they weren't on the eagles that was like
a totally different team that someone did that i i think yes people in the nfl sometimes stayed in the
locker room as a protest but he disinvited the eagles and you have to see the the thing like
he really said you know like it's not staying in there it's just as just not coming out as just as
disrespectful as kneeling the eagles are not welcome here they don't like their fans he somehow
twisted that and it's like it's only football it's only a this is like the most non-political least
important thing that a president does you know meeting the latest nba champion or whatever
but the fact that he's like waging this the fact that it's a bunch of lies and it's divisive lies
you know there are people who are going to get mad at the nfl or whatever and i
don't know if the only the only guy who sees it is like a black thing but i think it's shitty that
he would turn the whole team away like apparently a huge number of the team weren't planning on going
anyway in their own form of protest and that's fine that's their right but like when you say
the whole team can't come like maybe it's my silly not professional athlete brain but like uh
tim thomas in 2012 he was the goalie for the boston bruins when they won the stanley cup
he refused to go uh he was protesting obama of course the media entirely said he's a racist and
all that predictably but that's his right but if obama had said all right none of the bruins are
welcome fuck you boston assholes like and he did that. That wouldn't be fair.
What if somebody else on the team, they were really
looking forward to that? That's a real memory.
You get a picture standing next to the president. Even if it's a president
that you hate, and you really
think you disagree with everything, it's still the
president. And I'm sure there's Republicans
on the Eagles. About half the nation's Republicans.
Yeah, I bet. That's what I'm saying. There are a couple
Republicans on there, or maybe not even
Republicans, just people who thought it would be neat to go to the White House who are now like, really?
OK, well, I was, you know, kind of on your side, Trump, before, but now screw you.
Like, I agree.
He just didn't want to look stood up.
And and so, you know, it would make him look better.
It would like this is this kind of stupid shit that Trump does that I dislike.
It's like, you know what would make him look better is if he did show up there and there were five eagles.
And they were all excited to be there.
They were happy to be there.
He's happy to be there with them.
And then the story goes from Trump shoots down an entire eagles team to, oh, Trump still made time out of his day for the four eagles who decided it was worth their time to come.
You know, they'd still probably be negative about it because it's Trump,
but like,
it's a needless reason for him to trip himself up.
Just stand there for the 20 minutes and talk to the professional sports
team.
It's an unforced error.
You know,
it would be better.
I think if he,
so he met with,
I think they were victims of a shooting.
I forget.
They might've been the kids or something.
And he just listened,
you know,
he told him, I hear you or whatever.
If he had done that with the football players, I think that would have been a real win for him.
You know, if they said, look, we're not protesting the troops.
Because they're not.
They twist it to be this, they hate the military thing.
But everyone who watches knows that's not the case.
It's not about that.
They feel like the police are being unfair.
Yeah, I don't think it's about the military at all.
Okay, but
if he had just listened, then
he would have come across as
a great statesman.
That would have been the move, I think.
Have you seen
this image of Trump in Saudi Arabia
and the world leaders with their hands
over the globe?
This is a fantastic
memeable picture and right here we've got Saruman in there like I've sent that
to everyone I know and I'm like they're like oh it's kind of kind of weird it
was a little ominous I'm like yeah did you do you notice anything else about
the picture they're like I don't know.
He's with that guy from Saudi Arabia,
I guess. And who's that other gentleman
there?
Saruman the White!
Saruman the White! And he's
gracefully lent
the sheik of Saudi Arabia and Donald
Trump the palantir
of Orthanc.
Will you not know?
They are not all accounted for.
Shrouds it.
Would you not know who else might be watching?
That silly fuck Pippin uncovers it in the extended edition.
It's so easy to step on bad pictures when you do this stuff.
I remember you slipped in something saying, like,
of course the media is terrible because it's Trump.
Do you remember when Obama
bowed or something?
Who did he bow to? Was it a Chinese
guy? Was it a Muslim guy?
I think it was a Muslim guy.
Yeah, the Muslim leaders in the Middle East.
A couple of them.
He gave that Chinese guy
a hand job.
It's just bad optics,
but you don't understand other cultures,
Kyle.
So get us through.
So, yeah.
I see silly stuff like this and think whatevs.
It happens. I don't know.
Oh, yeah. I just think
it's hilarious. The Sarumon is there,
and you don't notice it first because...
I don't know. Everybody looks a little...
Because he's also in white robes.
Wait a minute.
That looks like Christopher Lee.
Is that his name?
Yeah.
It was his name.
God rest him.
Did Dumbledore die too?
The original one did.
The original Dumbledore did.
And then Christopher Lee played him maybe?
No.
Christopher Lee was only Saruman.
He wasn't.
I didn't really get into the Harry Potter thing. I don't think he was in Harry Potter at all.
Correctamundo. Who replaced
Dumbledore, do we know?
I don't know.
Well, let's see.
Come on, Taylor, you like all that fantasy stuff.
I don't know
the actor's name.
I don't know shit about Harry Potter.
The first people also asked ask question, Woody,
a little bit of a tally in your column,
is Dumbledore the same actor as Gandalf?
Gandalf is in Cybermon, but people clearly got mistaken
between Lord of the Rings and Harry Potter,
so you're not the only one.
The answer is no.
Definitely no.
It's not Ian McKellen either
man I really hope that that Lord of the Rings
series ends up being good
if it's about
if it's about Aragorn's life
I'm going to be so upset
yeah I wouldn't want to
watch Aragorn's life either
I don't want something that's singularly focused
I'd rather there be an event that you're tracking
and then you kind of have those tendrils coming out of different storylines,
kind of like Lord of the Rings, you know,
where you get a little dose of hobbit culture,
a little dose of elvish culture,
a little bit of dwarf, a little bit of, you know,
the Dunedain men like Aragorn.
Like, that's kind of what I would like.
It's a prequel, right?
Yeah, it's going to be a prequel.
Kyle, I think, knows better.
When is it exactly taking place?
I don't think they've exactly said.
I don't know why they do prequels so much.
I feel like sequels should be the default.
That should be the answer to me.
For things in general, 90% of the time.
When you do a prequel, we already know kind of how it ends.
Like what's on the other side of this.
Spoiler, Aragorn doesn't die.
Aragorn is going to be put in all kinds of precarious positions in this prequel am i saying his name wrong aragorn aragorn thanks
he's going to put in all kinds of precarious positions during the sequel and i know that
he'll be fine because see i think that might be part of the reason they do it it's like we can do
a sequel or we can do a prequel where we're basically just meandering our way to the end
which is already decided.
There isn't a whole lot after the trilogy.
The trilogy is kind of like the culmination of Tolkien,
but there's this enormous amount of stuff behind the trilogy
that has nothing to do necessarily with the Ring of Power or anything.
Sauron was the big bad villain of the trilogy,
but he's not the big bad villain of the universe. He's like a demon.
There's a Satan, you know, like there's a Satan.
Morgoth.
That could be a part of the story.
You could go back to the whole, like, Genesis of Shelob,
the gigantic spider who is really like a female goddess
who's like in the body of that spider
like there's this whole backstory of um of like different gods and goddesses that's a bit like
mount olympus you know there's good ones and evil ones and and uh that you know some of the gods
created uh different different races here on on the or not here but you know in middle earth and
some of those you could see the corruption of the elves like there's a lot of stuff you could see you could see the
whole journey of the elves over to uh middle earth from the undying lands and and how and how there
was treachery and the boats were burned like there's there's enormous epic tales there but
like what we saw in the trilogy is like the last 10 minutes of um of like tolkien
storytelling but there's an enormous amount before it has nothing to do with it but if eric
gone did you say what was his name eric gorn thank you if eric gorn is in it then it tells
me something about the ending of it and that's yeah if eric gorn's in it i then it tells me something about the ending of it. And that's a bit of a spoil to me. Yeah, if Erebor's in it, I don't like it either. Oh, I thought we knew that he was.
When I watch Game of Thrones,
part of the fun of it for me
is that at any episode, major people could die.
There was a red wedding. There was a purple
wedding. If you told me that
Daenerys, Daenerys, I think,
died in the last season,
I'd be like,
I buy it.
It could happen.
I don't know that the major of the most major characters
like Tyrion, Daenerys, Jon Snow,
I don't know that they're all going to make it.
So that's fun.
But if it's in the prequel,
then you sort of do know who makes it.
We'll see what's up.
I hope it's great.
Yeah, I really hope that it's not that
I hope that it's not Aragorn's life
because he's like 90 years old
or something like that
in the trilogy
they're saying it's going to be
five seasons, that I know
it's going to be five seasons
of TV
it's hard to say though how many episodes per season five episodes
per season or 10 episodes or 12 episodes you know it that's a big swing when lord of the rings ends
do they wrap up that whole universe because kyle just said that like it's the last 10 minutes of a
giant story but i'm like how how is anything the last right until that planet because
there's no more there's no more magic left in the in the in the world like like every all the main
magical characters kind of all the elves leave middle earth and go to the undying lands which
is like not really their heaven it's just another continent where there's still magic it's meant to be the symbolism of heaven yeah it's it's like an embodiment of an afterlife uh here on earth
because they're immortal but they all kind of go over there and it's it's sort of like and they
lived happily ever after kimley made you know what i want i want like more of this. I have such a preference for sequels to prequels
that I'm like, you can undo all that?
And then the dragon hit the ground
and the elves said, you know what?
You guys look like you need a hand.
I'm on my way.
And the giant escalator formed
and they came down from heaven
and went for round two.
I'm down.
I don't like your version.
It's not the one I'm comfortable with.
It was 90 minutes of them standing still.
Like, should we walk down the escalator or just stand here?
That's the other thing.
There's this whole period of time with dragons.
There's this whole period of time where there are many dragons.
I think there are ice dragons, too, that that happens you know in way in the past like it's i i'm excited
about a prequel because it's just it's a sequel because none of the the only characters who are
still alive are like gandalf and um um uh claire um what's her name the the the um the super hot chick the old Liv Tyler chick?
No, Galadriel.
Yeah, Galadriel. Like Galadriel would be alive.
Shelob would be alive. Gandalf would be alive.
Fucking
Liv Tyler's dad
whose name's escaping right now. He'd probably be alive.
Lord Elroth.
You know, she didn't know that stephen tyler
was her father until like um in the middle of her life and then she abandoned the guy she thought
was her father and went you know started an acting career i hope that that's not like an
accurate telling i hope that like her real father still feels loved and part of her life but now she has restraining order she she made him she
made him change his name um i i'm kidding she didn't want to be anywhere nearly associated
yeah i saw steven tyler on uh the joe rogan experience recently he's a fucking kook you
know like they're they're guys but you what i mean did you know that he was a an absolute kook you know like they're they're guys but you what i mean did you know that he was a
an absolute kook like he's on there and he's like i think that humans have been around for like
way longer than we think like millions of years and joe's like well there were early hominids you
know like but modern man has existed from somewhere from between 250 and 350,000 years.
You know, people like us that look like us, think like us, et cetera, et cetera.
Same brain size.
No, no.
I mean, I think we went underground there, you know, like into the Grand Canyon.
Like, where'd that come from?
Like, there are these tunnels that go like three miles underground.
I think we hid there.
But what were we hiding from?
Yeah?
Yeah?
And Rowan's just trying to look.
He's like, uh-huh.
There's tunnels.
There are caves.
Those do exist.
The Grand Canyon is a thing.
Uh-huh.
Yeah?
He's trying to not, if he were a normal person he'd be like dude are you fucking
retarded are you are you high right now what's wrong with you but it's steven tyler so he's just
like letting it flow it was embarrassing a little bit that's the way it goes is that steven tyler is
someone who for the last what 50 years has never had someone go steven. No, that's retarded. What you're saying right now
is stone cold, do not pass
go, do not collect $200, retarded.
If you go to a foreign country and say that,
they're going to execute you and try and clean out the gene pool.
Like, you're a retarded person. No one said that
to him for 50 years, and so now he walks around.
That would have been great.
Logan should have been like, Stephen,
what?
Just be indignant about it, and then he'll have to try and explain something that he's never been put in the position to explain before.
I'm going to get this a little mixed up, but Rogan said something about how people from different areas kind of evolved differently.
And Steven Tyler's like, is that because of Pangea?
And he's like, no.
No. Because this bitch don't know about Pangea? And he's like, no. No.
Because this bitch don't know about Pangea.
Because Pangea happened like 180 million years ago or something like that.
I'm probably a little bit off.
150 to 180 million years ago.
And again, like I said in the beginning, modern man is like 250 to 350,000 years old.
No, that was about the same time the pilgrims landed on Plymouth Rock.
There you go.
That's how they made it in those boats, because it was closer back then.
They didn't even take boats, fun fact.
They just walked right over.
They weren't the first people here, as Joseph Smith tells us.
Jesus and the Israelites were here long before the pilgrims.
That's when they buried the golden tablets.
That's true.
I saw the Book of Mormon.
They were here in St. Louis, and I went
and saw that musical. Have either of you
seen it? I haven't. I'd love to.
You guys
know how much I dislike music
and stuff and people singing and all
that. That's an established track record.
Of course, I ham it up a bit, but I really don't
like that. I don't care for it.
It was hilarious. Start to finish, I was laughing.
I loved it.
It was great.
If you're not a musical person and you think,
eh, I'm not going to risk it on this, I would say risk it on this.
Fucking Mormons came to my house the other day.
I do not like them.
I do not like being, what's the word, proselytized?
I hate it.
You should not talk to my father.
I'd be happy to. And they're so goddamn polite about it they're so polite about it that it's that you can't i can't be outright rude about
they show up and they're smiling try off-putting i had regular christians show up uh at easter
like regular old-fashioned christians show. Wife, husband, little kid.
The wife is smoking hot.
The husband's a good-looking guy.
They're all dressed in their Sunday best.
And they're like, hey, how's it going?
And I'm just like, I just woke up.
Like, it's like, I don't know, it's like 9, 8 a.m.
It was very early.
And I like stumbled to the door.
I'm just like, yeah, what is it?
Like, we just wanted to invite you to tomorrow's
easter service you know we're gonna be doing this and that she's got a little pamphlet and i'm just
i like looking at the pamphlet and i was like no thank you no thank you and that that's that's as
rude as i could be because i the little kid was smiling he looked he. He was bright-eyed and bushy-tailed, hoping he'd convert me and get me to come learn about the blood.
The blood of the Lord that you should eternally feel bad for.
Have you been washed in the blood?
Have you been washed in the blood of the Savior?
Say amen if you've been washed in the blood of Christ.
I couldn't do it.
I couldn't do it. Have you seen Blues Brothers, right, Taylor? Yeah. Oh, it's been watching the blood of Christ? I couldn't do it. I couldn't do it.
Have you seen Blues Brothers, right, Taylor?
Yeah.
Oh, it's been so long, though.
I was just thinking of the scene where Dan Aykroyd starts dancing in the church.
If someone's never seen that, that's a must-watch.
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Oh, by the way, unrelated. Someone told me
that there was a girl on the subreddit
or a discord or something trying to get in touch with me.
They mentioned
that she was DTF. Going something trying to get in touch with me um so they mentioned that she was
dtf um gonna want to get her to let's see what's the best way for her to contact yeah send me a
reddit message uh it's send it through me though i'll i got kyle's ear that's not the way to do it
see if you want to get a package to taylor you send it through woody that's a terrible idea but if you want to get a package from kyle you also send it to me yeah absolutely absolutely do that so our
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my knife i i've been finding excuses to chop things i like just potatoes and carrots and
onions oh my been you've been trimming the fat
off of steaks. I normally
don't even do that because it's tasty.
I love just watching it
cut through anything like
a knife through anything.
I am hard to
buy for. Usually if I want or need
something, I just get it.
I check out the man crate stuff and there's
a lot of neat things on there
that i wouldn't get for myself yeah check it out chiz got this uh this brewing kit uh this beer
brewing kit i believe and uh and i'm i'm sure he's he's been brewing up some beer over at his place
i bet it smells terrible yeah i got the outdoor survival kit. I am
very excited to bust that
out in the woods when I'm undoubtedly needing
to survive. And I was
tempted to get the
zombie survival kit,
which, once again, perfectly what Woody said,
it's super cool. I'd love to have
it, but it's not something that a man is likely
to buy himself. And so that's why these
are perfect gifts for your father, brother, son, uncle, grandfather.
Yeah, those gifts are ladies too.
There's the dildo making kit.
You know, you carve out your own sex.
You didn't see that?
Yeah, the cock block.
I saw it.
Yeah, it's incredible.
There's the clone-a-willy.
The clone-a-willy, of course, you take a cast of your lover's penis,
and you mail it off to them, and they mail you back a toy
that's exactly like your loved one's appendage,
and that way they're never too far away from the toy.
I'm supposed to mail it?
Yes.
I thought I just kept it on the mantel for bragging rights.
That is not what it's for.
Ah, well, I appear quite the fool.
What is this?
This is outstanding.
Can we watch it together?
Not until you tell me what it is.
The guy went to the doctor with a stuffy nose.
Let's start at zero.
What's in his nose, Woody?
It's a gif, so let's just...
What's in his nose?
Pause it.
Pause it.
Pause it, Kyle.
All right, I've got it opened in another it opened How do I open another tab?
If you click it, it'll automatically open another tab
I'm at zero
Fuck this
3, 2, 1, play
Alright, so there is a doctor
Seems Asian, he's got one of those mirror things
On his eye
Look at the cartoon character
He's reaching deep into this man's nostril
And pulling out what appears
to be a snow crab.
Look at that. A leech?
It looks like it's from another planet. It has arms.
Or no, maybe it is just a leech.
He had a leech up his
nose the size
of a...
It's like a small snake. It's writhing
about. Like a little finger. How let me get it up there. I
Assume it crawled up there
Are you a season my king?
This was a hospital so they don't think I'm weird when tentacle porn goes wrong
It was nothing like the cartoon.
That's disgusting.
I thought it was going to be a spider
and I was going to hate you for the rest of the week.
I don't like spiders.
I don't like them at all.
And I've seen people with spiders in their ears.
He's like, ugh, no idea.
Yeah.
I've done that before.
To your point about spiders.
I've felt an itch on my ear before.
And you know how you don't daintily scratch your own ear.
When you feel an ear, you just kind of grab it and that kind of shit.
And just scratch it.
I went up there
did that and like felt something in my hand like between my fingers and i opened it and there was
a spider the size of like the pad of my thumb just mashed there so there was a daintily crawling
yeah right up my ear and i just had i known it was there, I would have went, I'll say this.
I would never touch a spider in real life.
Although when I was a kid, I didn't mind.
There was a writing spider outside my door that I would crawl on my hands,
and I had a name, and I'd feed it and stuff.
But as an adult, I'm terrified of them.
But I've been in bed before, like shirtless, sitting up in bed watching TV,
and looked down, and there was a wolf spider on my chest.
And if you live in the south, like maybe you're familiar with these things, they don't make webs.
All over.
They run around.
Like they run around and like jump on stuff and kill it.
They're quite large, like bigger than a quarter.
I want to say like, like half dollars like they if you spread it
out like you know the legs are tiny and but they're and thin but they're very long so like i
don't know it's it as big as a silver dollar sometimes very big spiders it's on my chest
and like some sort of monkey brain thing took over and i just went
and just just smushed it just smushed it into my chest until it was
spider pulp and i was
it was like that scene at the beginning of 2001 where he's just smashing the bone like i just
some some other part of my my brain some reptilian remnant in the base of my cerebellum took over,
and I just smushed that motherfucker with reckless abandon.
That's why when people are like, oh, I'm not afraid of spiders at all.
I'll just walk right up to it, kiss it on the cheek.
It's like, then there's something on a base level wrong with you.
We've evolved to be afraid of snakes and spiders.
I'm not afraid of wolf spiders.
I like wolf spiders. And if I see them,
I don't kill them.
You ever have one on you?
Surprisingly? Yeah.
As a matter of fact, in my woodworking shop,
what would happen is I'd drop something
behind a bench, and underneath
it would be completely filled with
shavings or sawdust or something like that.
So you've got your hand in the darkness.
Like that scene from Flash Gordon where at the test of manhood where they stick their arm in.
And you're just like looking for like a socket or a wrench or whatever it is that's lost under there.
And that would happen all the time.
And sometimes it would come out with like a wolf spider.
Because when you pull it out, the shavings come with it.
And you might pull out a spider.
But there's only two poisonous spiders in my
area. There's the black widow and the brown
recluse. So
I know that every other one is fine.
The wolf spider is easy to identify.
I've never seen
Flash Gordon before, the test
of manhood. I had to look
it up just now, because I thought maybe
you were confusing it
with dune um when he went when uh when when when he puts his hand in the box and the box like
tortures your hand terribly and she's like if you take your hand out you'll die but it's like
scorching the flesh off his hand and he just has to keep it in there it's been so long i've never
seen dune you look i don't know what to say
about Dune. I guess don't watch it.
Is it shitty?
They tried hard.
I want to say it's Paul Thomas Anderson
made it. Let me double check that.
They spent a ton
of money.
It says David Lynch.
David Lynch.
From 1984.
David Lynch refuses to speak about it when he's asked in interviews.
There was a lot of problems.
There were budget issues.
The story is just too big.
Sting was in it, so that's a big win.
Sting comes out at one point wearing nothing but a future codpiece.
There aren't even straps.
It's just a thing over his dick and balls with
wings that go across the front
of his lower stomach.
And he's just like, yeah,
I'm staying. And just completely shirtless,
all greased up. And his
father's very creepily
into it at times.
It's really weird. His dad
floats around,
literally floats on
this it's it's super it's like year 3500 and uh that there's um they've sort of mastered uh faster
than light travel like they fold space and instantly travel to anywhere in the universe
they want to go but the uh the material that they use to make that happen, the fuel that makes it work, is only located on one planet
called Arrakis. And
it's a bit like Game of Thrones in that
there are these families who are
in control of planets
and systems and stuff, and they're very powerful
and there's a hierarchy of them.
And so it's decided
that this one family, the Atreides,
will be the rulers
of Dune, the Arrakis, which is where the spice melange comes from that powers the hyperdrive systems.
But then this other family conspires against them because they want the planet because it's money and it's power and everything.
And so there's this huge moment where they overthrow them and only the sun survives
and he has he goes out into the out of the desert and like becomes a man amongst the desert people
and he learns that he had he's like the chosen one with all these powers and he slowly gets more and
more powerful until he comes back and he overthrows the uh the evil people it's very much like um
game of thrones in that way um But along the way, there are some
slow parts. There are some
weird, weird parts.
And the special effects can be
lacking at times. But I like
it because it's like
really fucking long.
It's like this big epic space tale.
But I
wouldn't necessarily recommend it to someone.
Yeah, it doesn't sound like you recommend it
yeah I don't
there's going to be a remake right
I don't know
I've heard that
because it's a whole
series of books and they're very popular
and they're amazing books
but they just haven't translated
to the screen very well
the same as like a lot
of people said that game of thrones never would because it's such a massive story it really needs
to be a tv series like a big budget you know 100 million dollar tv series to make it work in my
opinion it looks like uh this is just from this is recent from may 30th it's going to be two movies
but they're not shooting yet or
anything so they're just consulting and figuring it out so who knows i'll fucking watch it it's
got a patrick stewart in it one of the interesting things um like their technology is kind of weird
and and you don't really see you know we've all seen force fields and laser guns and like various
movies and stuff like that's kind of a trope of science fiction but they've got this thing that's kind of unique like they've mastered a body shield that you just kind of wear on your
belt so if someone tries to shoot at you like the bullets just get bounced off so in response to
this combat has become knife fights where you slowly move your knife through the shield so that
you can get through the shield and and stab or cut someone so it's it's sort of the technology has made the combat kind of go in reverse because now laser
guns projectile weaponry all that shit doesn't work because anything moving faster than a slow
blade just gets deflected off and he's there's this whole training sequence where he's with
patrick stewart uh you know the captain picardard. Captain Picard is like his combat trainer.
He's like, the slow blade kills.
He's explaining him how to fight.
They've got all these little
training montages together.
I like it. Most people hate it.
Sounds terrible.
I'm not going to invest any time in it.
I saw it in middle school and barely remember it.
Also read the book
and don't remember that
that's how most books in school go don't remember much because you were forced to do it
you've got some ama questions if you guys would like to tap into some of those i know
uh chis is usually barking in our ear to do more of those but he's not in in attendance tonight uh have any of you
guys ever been fired from a job and is there a story in regard to that i have um
huh i don't so i was a i guess my title was like manager of accounts payable and receivable for
this railroad construction company and it was early in my career and I was bad at the job.
I've told this before.
Really, the bulk of the workload was making sure that it was okay to pay the bills.
And then, so what would happen is the materials would be delivered on site.
The guy who received it would job cost it because we assigned all the materials
to different projects.
Well, you could tell if that project
was profitable or not.
So they were slow in getting
that like packing slip or receiver,
whatever you want to call it,
back to me and job cost it,
which made it very difficult for me
to pay the bills on time.
You know, I wouldn't pay a bill
unless there was proof of delivery.
Otherwise, you could just send invoices to companies
and get money for nothing.
So I was young and my response to them being slow
and getting me the things I needed
was to like cover for them.
Like, oh, no, no, no, James isn't fucking up.
Yeah, I'm sure we'll get this all worked out.
And that just led to me getting fucked harder and harder.
And I worked a lot like
100 120 hours a week while at the same time going to school at night and commuting i got straight
f's one semester in school trying to like compensate for not getting these receivers on
time and it's long-winded but the like when i would have to pay a bill a week late it became
even more difficult as these paperwork like stacked up.
And sometimes they tell me on the phone and then send the receivers later.
And now I've got like shit to deal with that's not current.
And in the end, after, I don't know, six months or so, I got fired.
It was the worst firing ever.
The guy took like six hours to do it.
He kept getting interrupted.
getting interrupted and uh so he talked to me and i had hope through the whole time that this was just like a it's time to pick it up woody kind of speech and not a your time is done woody kind of
speech and it took him six hours to get it done it might have been four but like a lot regardless
like the way you fire someone is immediate instant you say the purpose of it right away yeah and would you
rather be fired by phone call so you don't even have to go in i can see they're already at work
usually they wait till the end of the day it was in the morning and obviously because it took all
day uh but yeah so i came in we started talking and then like i'm really sorry i got to take this
call and i would go back to work and just start working. We'd talk again for like 15, 20 minutes.
And then he got interrupted, got a little fire to put out.
And my firing just kept getting broken up.
You know what it actually was?
He wasn't getting interrupted.
He was nervous to fire someone.
And he had to keep making you go back so he could remuster and rehearse his stuff.
Was he a younger manager or had he been doing it for like decades?
No, I think you're off target.
He was 45 or 50 50 and he was okay so he's just an unprofessional it'd be going on for a long
time and he was worth millions and millions so i don't think he had a problem firing someone i
think he was literally would just sort of hands-on in his style and uh anyway yeah so he fired me
really poorly he even offered to give me a letter of recommendation you know he was just like yeah you're like you're working super hard we can see the effort that
you're putting in that's why it took so long to like come around to this decision but you're not
what he said was when i write a check for when i sign all the checks i don't have confidence
that i should actually be paying all these like he doesn't have confidence that I should actually be paying all these. Like he doesn't have confidence that my little department is being run well. And, um, yeah, so that sucked. I really six months, you said?
Uh, yeah, I think six months is a good estimate, something like that.
And, um, I felt terrible if you've never been fired. Like it really seems like a,
like someone's just valued you not worthy.
It hit my sense of self-worth.
Not that I was young, right?
I was like 21, maybe.
But being professionally successful was a part of my sense of self-worth.
And when that didn't work out,
I had to move back home.
My father was fucking relentless
about treating me like I was in high school.
I had my own apartment. i lived hours away from home and suddenly i'm like a kid again he even called me kid you
know like like i think i wanted i think i he came into the room and changed the tv channel and uh
i was like dad i was watching that he's like listen kid you were back here under my roof
with my rules and i was just like, oh, my God.
I couldn't be lower right now.
Thanks, Dad.
Wow.
And then he beat me.
No, my father.
Honey, get the stilettos.
I don't think my father ever hit me.
He held me down while my mother came in with the stilettos.
She had one of his hands.
She had a tattoo. These stiletto she had a lot of nunchucks
they were connected it was so demoralizing yeah and maybe it was good parenting i don't know
because i worked to find a job like it was a job uh finding a job was different back then it
involved like classified ads and the papers and sending out resumes and i would send out
tons of resumes and i opened up everywhere of the
personality you would have done that anyway like he was needlessly like even if he hadn't been
berating you you would have been getting shit done and trying to find another job because that's the
kind of person you are that is true i wasn't yeah yeah you weren't gonna be like hot dog back home
for life you know i tried the working thing fuck that like no no i wasn't gonna do that and because some
people are like that like everybody has that friend or two who after high school went to
college and then either finished college by the skin of their teeth got a job failed at it and
now live with their parents and are kind of like which you know nothing wrong with that if you if
you failed at something just get back on the horse and try again but they'll just consign themselves
to like well i guess it's not for me. You know, whatever. That's okay.
And everybody knows that person. Don't be that person.
Like, that's a person who's going to be
depressed as fuck in their 40s because they're going to look
back on their 20s and realize they pissed life away.
Yeah.
Have you been fired, Taylor?
No, I've never been fired. I wasn't sure
if either of you had, so that's why I asked that one.
Kyle, have you ever been fired?
No.
There's another one here. would you rather watch incest porn or cuckold porn incest i think
incest points because they're not even real people they're not even no no no no we're talking about
actual incest porn and it exists and i'll send you some links if you'd like. No. Respect who you're talking to here, Taylor.
Don't.
Look, look, look.
I have seen confirmed incest porn.
Oh, wait.
We might be going to the same place.
Well, the only way to know for sure is if they're twins.
Yes!
That is how you know.
Yeah, that's how.
If they're twins.
If they're like two girls that are obviously identical twins.
Or guys.
Okay.
Oh.
And then you know it's incest homophobe yeah jesus taylor
it's 2018 get you guys are sometimes people are gay if i'm not okay with watching two brothers
fuck let me ask you this is an interesting scenario? You jerk your own dick off, right?
That's true.
So if you had an identical twin,
what's the difference between touching his dick
and touching your dick?
There's a world of difference, my friend.
Because it's no longer your...
See, here are the two worlds in life.
Why am I itchy now?
Of the Venn diagram.
There's your penis,
and then there's every other penis.
And there's a very small overlap.
And that's your penis.
All penises and your penis.
Get out of here.
I don't think I'm getting the Venn diagram.
This is genetic. You have the same DNA.
You have the same DNA.
I'm pretty sure you have the same fingerprints, even.
This is your identical twin.
You were in the womb together.
You've touched that dick before.
I guarantee it.
Like you bumped it a time or two when you were in there floating around in your mom's pussy.
Because that's where babies come from.
And I don't see the point.
You know, and babies floating around in your mom's pussy.
Look at me making fun.
Mr. Kent does not explain a Venn diagram.
I thought you were going to go to the chickens don't have sex thing.
No, that's a couple layers of retardation below where we're at right now.
We're going to have to delve.
I want to hear from the fans because I think you'll be in the minority.
Would you trade handjobs with your twin, with your identical twin?
Yeah, he can nod your heads all you want.
Let me know out there yeah and by the way the the incest porn i've seen there's a one guy and then twin sisters
no i i don't want a guy in there i just want the sisters going at it would be much easier because
you just watch it and pretend like these are just two people they're not actually brother and sister
even if it says real brother and sister hold up birth certificates and then exchange oral or
whatever they're gonna do even that'd be like ah it's probably a forgery you probably have the same
guy as obama like if i've seen cuck porn you know and i i will neither confirm nor deny
i do the worst thing which is i put myself in the cucks position and like like
like maybe a home invasion scenario and i'm like that would that's really feel bad to me
yeah the home invasion cuckold porn i don't understand what you mean oh i like the home
invasion yeah i'm never the bull in this scenario i'm always the guy whose life is irreparably changed.
I'm stuck on the word.
No, just use your brain power and just change.
You think of yourself as the guy having his life ruined.
You think of the guy who's just getting free pussy.
Why would you not think about that guy?
That guy's the winner in all this.
Just be that guy.
I'm ruined.
I don't like cuck porn at all.
It is not my thing.
That's why this is a...
You hit the nail on the head with the home intruder scenario, though.
That works for the incest porn and the cuckold porn.
Because what you want is when the intruder comes in
and he makes the family members
fuck each other, right?
Yes, that's what we all want, Kyle.
You're not weird at all.
I don't want to watch any of these,
but I would say incest is the easier one to suspect or no because even the cuck thing you just do the opposite of what
woody does and you just enjoy being the dude who gets to go around fucking other guys wives all
the time who doesn't want to be that guy oh sorry you want me to stay for dinner i got an 8 30 with mrs stevenson across
town bad for the other guy for me like like who gives a fuck about that guy he's enough of a loser
to invite you into his home and let you fuck his wife uh it just seems mean he's into it yeah i
know kyle yeah this is kink i don't get it yeah cutthroat's not for me that's cheating and that's immoral
I'll knock it till you've tried it
let's watch the most
let's watch why I miss movies from the 80s
it's a minute and 37 seconds long
we can go right back to the AMA
does it need audio?
in fact you might want to mute it
because there's a bit of music
is it this YouTube one?
it's the Robocop toxic waste scene
yeah I love this I love this so much
I'm looking for the link
oh did you put it in the chat
it's not in the AMA
yeah it's in the AMA I mean it's in the chat
okay
movies in the 80s were hard fucking core
alright
this is no joke
this was the 80s, right?
Yeah, it was the 86.
I'm not 100% sure.
Okay.
Yeah.
Ready, set, play.
Alright, so we got
Robocop here.
Muted music.
Bread truck comes
rolling in.
Obvious bad guy.
And drives into
the toxic waste
with the bread truck.
Ooh. Sludge pouring out the back of it.
Look at this.
Look at this guy.
First of all, these special effects are amazing.
Look, look, look.
Bad guy's rolling around in it.
He appears to be transforming.
Look at the skin.
The skin is sloughing off of his hands.
Look at it.
Oh. I it. Oh!
I mean...
He would have never fallen out of that truck
had he been wearing a seatbelt.
That's true.
Is he becoming a supervillain, or is he just dying?
No, this is realistic.
He's just melting.
It's dissolving his flesh away.
So now you've got Red Foreman.
Yes, this is realistic.
So now you've got Red Foreman. Yes, this is realistic. So now you've got Red Foreman
coming in, being chased
by Murphy.
That is Red Foreman. Of course that's Red Foreman.
One of the greatest villains
of all time. Like, literally top ten
villains of all time. He is so
evil in this movie.
And the
melted guy comes upon his buddy and he's like,
help me, with his eyeball melted out. He's like, help me. With his eyeball melted out.
He's like, don't touch me, dude.
So he's going to stumble out into the path here.
He should shoot the melting guy.
He's got a giant gun.
As a courtesy.
Yeah, that was sort of a crux of the story,
was they needed those giant guns to defeat RoboCop.
Didn't work out for him, because, you know.
Because RoboCop wins in the end.
Well.
Splat! work out for him because you know his robocop wins in the end wow oh wait so gruesome oh that's that's all i wanted to see all right thank you for obliging me i just wanted to see that man splatter on that windshield he literally it's like he hit a water balloon
it's like he hit a water balloon with that car the guy just splats his head goes rolling
very interesting i've never seen Robocop.
It doesn't look good.
It is good.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
No.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
First of all...
Did we come to an answer for Mr. AMA on
incest and cuck?
I would prefer if it was both the same
time. I think I would
if it's real incest
porn, I definitely want the incest
porn. But some good cuckold porn
could be fun too. I think
I'd like the real incest
porn though. I want maybe
huh
maybe
I like the twins.
I feel like it's like most porn and that it's like it's all in your mind like who are you in that situation is the decision you make right
yeah in incest porn you use the just you just refuse you just in your head commit yourself
they're not actually siblings and it's not as fucked up. In the cuck porn...
I want that reinforced, though, Taylor. You're missing the whole...
You're right. I'm the fucked up one.
But in the cuck one, you watch, and you just get to be the dude fucking other people's wives.
You don't have to be the guy who just has let his life get so out of control that he lets his wife...
Or maybe he... You know, I'm being too...
You don't have to be either of he likes doing that well but see my point was like
in lesbian porn i don't really watch that very much because even if i were there i guess i'd
just be off to the side watching because there's no place there for me oh there's there's like
three or four places well there's six places well you, you have a brother, right?
Yeah.
A couple of them.
Yeah.
I mean, you'd have to have sex with him.
Ah!
Oh.
Ah!
Being all judgy.
Being all judgy.
How about you fuck your brother?
Again.
I don't know.
Again?
I hate that.
I don't know if you're watching.
We've been across that bridge.
Don't call.
No, do call me, Pat.
I like it when you call.
How effective would Wings be as a goalie?
AMA question.
Not effective at all.
I don't even know shit about hockey.
We may have done this before.
Kyle, give your explanation.
Not effective at all.
Because, first of all, he's not that big.
He can't move around, and he doesn't play hockey,
so it's not like he's going to be able to anticipate shots and ever move.
So you're really just counting on his surface area blocking a significant amount of the goal.
However, hockey players, believe it or not, are good at shooting goals.
So they can knock that puck through an area the size of a bread basket
no problem. And there's going to be
huge areas all around
wings that are open to score on
at will. So no,
he'd be a terrible goalie.
Kyle hit every point. He's 100% right.
Fat people would be terrible goalies
unless you're playing against children
who can't lift the puck. I have a caveat.
That's what I was going to say. If you play against bad players,
everyone knows the story. When I first
learned to play hockey, I took this
how to play hockey class. I didn't realize it would be
filled with people under 10 and me.
After this, let's go back to this story.
Anyway, to practice, they took a bench and laid it in front of the goal 99 of the players were all stymied by this bench just covering the
bottom one foot yeah there's nothing they could do so it's a bench over one the foot high
if wings just laid sideways he would stop a lot of bad players.
Woody can confirm this.
If you've never played hockey or tried to shoot a puck on ice,
and you go out there and you try and shoot,
you're going to be like, what the fuck?
Is there glue keeping this thing on the ice?
How do I make it go up?
How do I get it to go up like the players do in the NHL?
It will take you a while to figure that shit out
or to learn how to shoot it hard enough with enough leverage to get it in the air.
Pucks are way heavier than people think, and it's sticking to the ice,
and so it's way once to stay on the ice.
I would want a stick that was more like a high-lie slinger on the bottom
where it had a little shelf that I could scoop the puck up with,
and it was curved like like the highlight thing,
and you could get maximum velocity when you whip
that thing. I suppose that wouldn't
be fair, though, eh?
They have rules now about how
curved it can be. Don't know why.
Because they used to allow you to put
that little hook on the end.
Not quite a hook, but slightly less.
Still useful for grabbing the puck,
but then it got to the point where they're like, this is ridiculous.
I've never seen Highline.
I still don't know why.
Yeah, I have.
But if you could pick up the puck and do like lacrosse shit with it,
the game would just get better.
And it's not going to get two bananas because people hit you.
And you've got to be able to send it to someone else before you get laid out.
I think they should the
players would be more interesting if they had whatever curve they wanted i would love it
they sling that ball so fucking hard and highlight i think it's like 150 miles per hour or something
isn't it made of like ceramic or something yes not probably not ceramic because that would shed or maybe it wouldn't i
don't know what's up is highlight interesting at all like no it failed i want to say i don't
remember the exact history of it but i think highlight had something to do with like a huge
cocaine uh smuggler or something he was using it to let me let me let me let me get this information
it's a hard rubber ball okay Okay, that makes more sense.
But it's probably hard rubber in the same way
that a hockey puck is hard
vulcanized rubber. It's rubber, but
it's super hard. These high-end balls go
so fast. They keep the pucks cold,
frozen even, so that
they don't bounce much. If the puck
bounces across the ice, you can't
play with it very well.
The worst part of practice as a goalie,
is because I didn't play in the NHL,
and so they didn't keep the big bucket of pucks in a freezer for some teams.
Some teams, they'd be devoted and they would.
But when they throw all those out on the ice and they let people shoot them,
for the first probably 15 minutes,
when all the pucks are freezing on the ice,
they just bounce all over the goddamn place at you as they shoot.
Not fun.
Anyway, Kyle, go ahead. Sorry.
Jumped on you. Ah, shit. I don't know what I was
going to say. Something about...
Highline and drugs maybe use.
Oh, yes.
Whitey Bolger had something to do with Highline.
He was hiding his money
using the Highline League or something
like that. I don't remember. It doesn't matter.
There was something else, though.
It doesn't fucking matter. I don't understand the rules of
HiLi. I don't care. But I also don't
understand the rules of Cricket. Have you ever tried to watch
Cricket on YouTube? Yeah, we've talked about that before.
It's complicated.
Yeah, I don't get it.
Ice has been getting a lot of
negative feedback this week.
Things have gone poorly for Ice.
Really? I haven't been watching
intently enough to really give you coverage,
but I think if you just look
at his subreddit,
you'll get a good
dose of how the folk
are feeling over there.
I thought Ice was killing it right now because of the
his RV trip was super popular, right?
Popular and liked
are two different things.
They're not liking ice's attitude and some of the things he's said
been saying uh there was a bit of drama where it turned out he's still somewhat still
seeing caroline uh the ex-girlfriend who everyone calls the space alien and hates
absolutely despises can i elaborate on the drama?
Yeah.
So it turns, he said he broke up with her months ago.
And it turns out they've still been dating.
Somehow they recorded her side of the conversation.
So you don't have both sides, but I heard her side.
They've been dating for a while, but Ice pretended that they weren't.
And then Ice cheated on her with her best friend.
And I guess she rented a boat for some occasion and she was going to take Ice out on it.
And Ice took the girl that he's cheating with, her friend, on the boat and left his girlfriend who paid for it at home.
And a lot of people feel like Ice didn't treat her properly.
I think I have this right.
Do you know something other, Kyleyle you're making a face that doesn't sound like what happened but
but i but i don't know enough to dispute it going off the it was a the thread about it off
ice's subreddit is where i'm coming from so um uh yeah so anyway i guess she ran in a boat and
he took the girl on the boat and dumped his girlfriend and people are like Ice is not very nice.
And I'm like, he's not
supposed to be nice. That's not who Ice
Poseidon is. Ice Poseidon does not
say, look at me,
humanitarian. And you
catch him in being hypocritical
about that. No, no, no, no. Ice's
whole thing is
fear factor to the vulnerable.
You know, that's how he's so he can be so
mean like they were going they were they they he didn't have shoes like they didn't have any
sandals and they were like all in swimsuits or something and walking on asphalt and stuff and
the uh the girl was like they got sandals in there but they're 80 and he's he's like we're
not all dead streamers like you it's like shit but then he goes in there and he's like, we're not all dead streamers like you. It's just like, shit. But then he goes in there, and he's like, oh, shit, they're $70?
Fuck that.
And he's too cheap to buy them.
They had some kind of dispute last night where he wouldn't pay for some hamburgers or something like that.
I think most of the people have abandoned him on the RV trip and gone their separate ways.
That's what it seemed like, just reading the cliff uh i saw bjorn get knocked out earlier he uh they were doing
some sort of bjorn i love bjorn bjorn's my favorite i've never been so scared in my life
he's the guy who's like i'm getting my passport as he's got his hands in his bag around cops it's
like settle down idiot take your hands out of the bag.
Yeah, he's from Denmark.
He's the guy who doesn't
like black people. He's from Denmark.
And
he's definitely the fan favorite. He's my
favorite. But yeah, he did some kind of backyard
boxing thing.
I don't know who this is.
He's boxing, but he takes
a pretty good little whack here if you want to watch that.
Yeah, I guess I'll check that out.
It's eight seconds.
Oh, my goodness.
The whack happens two seconds in.
I didn't even pause it in time.
Let me resize it for everybody.
Ready, set, play.
Ooh.
Oh. Oh. play. Anonymous
donated $3.
What does it say? Knocked out?
It wasn't worth it.
Vex knocked out. He didn't actually get
knocked out though. No, he just got
knocked a little loopy. Stunned?
Yeah, stunned is a good word
yeah that hurts that doesn't feel good at all uh yeah i really like bjorn he's uh he's very fun
very funny uh and i like marie everybody likes looking at marie she was in a swimsuit uh yesterday
and it was like it was like a flesh tone bikini like string bikini thing and it was very tight. Very, very nice look for her.
I just want Bjorn
and Marie.
I don't need ice
necessarily. Bjorn and Marie show. That's all
I want.
Who's Marie?
She is a Playboy.
Yeah, she's a former Playboy model
who's on there. She's the one with the
really nice ass that I sent you the nudes of.
I'm looking for her in a bikini for some reason, even though I've seen her nudes.
Yeah, I know who you're talking about now.
Yes, she's very sexy.
Yeah, I see.
Everyone is just over the top upset.
Those are nudes.
Is this Marie having sex
on camera?
You have a link for me?
That doesn't sound like the behavior of a whore.
Where?
Link.
I sent you...
I can't share this with you guys. I apologize.
We should probably even change topics because you're not seeing what I'm
seeing. If you google
SSJ fucking Marie,
you'll probably find
the ice reddit thing.
That's a Photoshop.
I'm sorry. I don't know these people.
Yeah, that's Photoshop.
Oh, Scuf Steve Jobs.
Yeah. That's Photoshopped. Oh, Scuff Steve Jobs. Yeah.
That's just actual photos of them being Photoshopped together, I'm fairly sure.
But, I mean, look at how Steve Jobs' torso, like, becomes a different torso.
Like, his neck comes out of his chest.
You're right.
No, I don't blame you.
It's easy to get distracted by the enormous ass, which is actually hers.
And, like, people are having sex on these things.
That one woman blew two guys, right?
And then kissed one of the Andes.
And so it seemed in character.
Maybe not for Marie, but, yeah.
I don't know.
Right?
Yeah, this is what I sent you as actual, like nudes of marie she's she's quite hot yeah in these she is these look professionally
done though so oh they are yeah well that that means the shop is involved when i see a super
hot girl in like a magazine spread that's it's almost it ruins it for me
i know i need to see her like i don't know candids and let me let me see what she actually looks like
as a girl oh man like like honestly like i've i've seen marie like on camera and then i've seen her
like in these photos and i don't there's not any tomfoolery going on. That's pretty much
how she looks and everything.
They had this black girl
on for a while.
I think she's a streamer on Instagram
or some shit. They would show
pictures of her from her
Instagram versus pictures of her
from the stream, screenshots.
It was like
an eight.
Totally night and day. She's like an eight on her instagram and she's like a three in real life she's just like so what
what did imus say back in the day nappy headed hoes some nappy headed hoes
that's what she looked like it was rough her hair's so fucked and she's just she's looking
bad she's just like like in the instagram her boobs are like up here and like together with
like very nice cleavage and she's got like hip cleavage and and like she's she's very well
proportioned and in real life she's got like saggy like like flat titties that are like going
away from each other and like have no cleavage whatsoever and her hair's all fucked up and her
face is all fucked up she's she's the one that they were calling chocolate rain andy
i saw her picture no no no tits no tits are cleavage producing naturally when they're naked
some tits are they got to be quite big they would naked. Some tits are. They gotta be quite big.
They would...
You know what I'm talking about. Like, when you see a woman
in public, and they're pushed up, and there's
the line of cleavage, there's not
a woman on Earth touching.
Where you take that off, and they stay up there?
That would look weird!
They're naked, and they're up there like that.
Unless they're fake. I mean, you could put a couple
bolted-on tits and do that, but
that's just not how boobs look.
I'll
see if I can prove you wrong.
You may be able to, but
I don't think you will.
You're gonna pull up some
bolted on tit, huge tit gal.
Yeah?
What's your point? I'm talking about natural boobs. Of course, if they're bolted on, you can make gal. Yeah? What's your point?
I'm talking about natural boobs. Of course, if they're bolted on,
you can make them do that, but I'm saying if they're natural boobs, then that's not
how they behave.
Another one of my favorite
subreddits, bolted on tits.
I've stumbled across that one before.
I've seen a couple
that...
It's pretty good. I've seen a couple that halfway And it's pretty good. I've seen a couple that
halfway proved Taylor wrong, but
the pose is this.
That's not a fair pose.
Look, I'm not trying to fool
anyone.
Now look, I pride myself
as honest.
And it turns out, leaning
forward, you can create that too
Yeah but that's gravity
Pulling them together
That's just doing this
But even further down
I can have cleavage if I go like this
Arms back leaning down
You can get some cleavage
Arms back
Leaning down
Yeah here's a woman.
Well, let me see.
I'm not sure how this link will work.
Oh, that didn't even make a link.
This is probably some really good audio content right now.
There you go.
That's the shirt, guys.
These are big tits.
Oh, no.
It made me download that.
What have you done?
It made me download it.
Oh, no.
Now there's a naked girl on Kyle's computer.
God knows what's on there.
That brings the count to 1.5 million.
Yeah, I don't like how it made me download that either.
I did not want to download a file from the DDF network.
Is that what it was?
That means drug and disease free.
And if they're drug and disease free, then they're clearly virus free.
Oh, right.
Oh, that would be DD.
I thought DTF.
There you go.
Yeah, DDF, drug and disease free.
But I don't know if that file was.
I don't know what that was.
And I did it twice, too.
It was like, click.
No, it didn't open.
Click.
Oh, no, downloading.
And the internet's fast, so it was just boom, instantly I got it.
Son of a bitch. Well, the Russians have me have me now we've got drug and disease free malware
uh that i'm scrolling through a few more of these amas so we can i'm still looking
on on taylor's cleavage challenge i'll stop oh. Oh, no, you can try it. See, the one you linked, though,
that's cleavage, but she's also
bent over. Right. Like, the gravity
assist is... Like, the whole point is
I'm saying, like, women, like, standing up,
like, chatting with you when they have their push-up bra
on, their, you know,
shit on, you can get some cleavage there.
But real life, naked,
standing up, that doesn't exist
unless it's bolted on and even then it
won't really exist the way it doesn't like a push-up bra here's one for me i'm thinking about
buying either a widescreen 1440p monitor uh curved monitor uh you have that i have um plus a 500
4k tv or the upgraded version of my monitor, which has slightly better specs.
I think it's got a higher frame rate.
Do you stand by your purchase,
or do you think I'd be better off
with a regular 4K monitor plus a TV?
I watch movies with my roommate,
and it'd be weird to watch things on my monitor.
I really like mine.
I'm not using it right now.
I'm using a standard one because I plan to stream eventually,
and I wanted to get used to that.
But I fucking love my curved monitor so much.
It's really nice.
And the thing is, I don't know what kind of PC you've got,
but my PC is like $4,000, almost $5,000,
and it has a hard time pushing a 1440p uh this curved monitor past the the the
frame rates that it's capable of you know it has a hard time getting more than 100 frames
whereas with the standard 1440p monitor that i'm using right now the benq i get on pubg i get like
100 and 145 like most of the time.
I think it's 145.
I might be talking out of my ass.
100 and whatever its max is, I stay there.
And I like that a lot.
The thing about the cheaper 4K TVs, I'm not sure how I feel about that.
I bought Amazon had some kind of special deal on 4Ks like a year ago or something like that and I bought
a couple of them. I got
like a 40, I want to say
like a 42 inch for myself and I bought
my dad like a 55 inch 4K TV
for his bedroom and
he likes it a lot
but I'm just
kind of so-so on mine.
I don't know. I don't know how. It's up
to you. I feel like if you're gonna
have a 4k tv maybe save up and like get a really nice one and a 4k blu-ray player because that's
like the ultimate viewing experience but as far as the monitor goes depends what games you're
playing if you're playing like fallout oh my god it's so great um the thing about an ultra wide
monitor though is you're gonna want to go to a YouTube channel called...
It used to be called Wide As Fuck, but I think they corrected him on that, so now it's like an acronym for that.
It's that, like, broken down.
Yeah, it's something like that.
It's Wide As F-C-U-K or something weird like that.
But if you type Wide As Fuck monitor or something like that on YouTube,
you'll find his channel.
And he does specialized videos for all of the new and interesting games.
And he gives you tips and tricks to make those games work in ultra wide.
Like in Fallout, I had to go in and edit some INI files
and change a lot of stuff around to make the game perfect
for um ultra wide um aspect ratio it took a while i can do it like really quickly now but like the
first time i did it it probably took me 25 minutes or something like that to get all the files edited
and uh and uh get all the mods to work correctly because like i mean little things like the ui
doesn't fit the screen right like your you things like the UI doesn't fit the screen.
Your HP bar doesn't
fit the screen right.
Are new games better like that?
Fallout could be an old game.
Fallout 4 is fairly new.
Is it?
Yeah.
What year would that be?
Two years ago.
Oh, okay.
We haven't talked about it fallout 76 vault 76 was recently um advertised can i jump in i want to get your take on it from this angle
online everyone's hating on fallout 76 and my little exposure is they haven't told us anything
beyond the name very much like why are people hating on it
and what do you think uh the guy from kotaku uh seemed to have a lot of inside information on it
and he's all he's the same guy who leaked a ton of information about fallout 4 when like a year
before it came out and like like talking about what the game was going to be and where it was
going to be based and everything and he was totally ridiculed back then as well like you don't know shit you're a liar these are fake and then of course the day of redemption came when
like they they show what fallout 4 is and what it's all about and they're like you were right
the whole time so fuck you for spoiling it someday and so he's like they're giving him shit again
because um i believe and and i haven't read online in like three or four days, so maybe something has changed.
But last time I read, they're saying that there's going to be a single player experience, much like all the previous games.
But it's also going to have some sort of a multiplayer MMORPG kind of experience with base building and stuff like that.
And I think people don't like that idea.
I personally love that idea because I definitely want a single player experience.
That's the most important thing in a Fallout game is role playing as whoever your character is,
whether he's the courier or the vault survivor or whoever you're playing as
whatever fallout you're playing new vegas is the best all those are shit and and like pretending
like you're that guy trying to like solve his problems and especially if you're role-playing
to the extent where you're like oh well my guy's skill sets are these because that's the guy i'm
building he's he's a good snipe he's a sneaky sniper or he's a he's a big dumb galoof that's the guy I'm building. He's a sneaky sniper, or he's a big, dumb galoof
that slugs people with a hammer.
I love that shit.
So as long as that's in the game,
anything else is just candy on top.
So I don't know why people are quite so upset about that,
other than it's different, right?
It kind of flies in the face of what they've done in the past.
But I like the idea of multiplayer Fallout.
I was saying last year that
man, a Fallout Battle Royale
would be cool. With Fallout
weapons scattered across the world
and Fallout enemies
maybe as AI
sprinkled in amongst the multiplayer
players. Sorry, I was out and missed it.
What's the theme or the time frame?
Most of the Fallout games are several hundred years
after the bombs fell and the whole world went to shit
in this alternate version of Earth
where the microcomputer never became a thing,
so everything is vacuum tubes and nuclear fusion powered.
This game is much sooner.
This is Vault 76.
It was one of the control vaults,
and it's going to be just like five or 25 years.
I'm not sure.
I forget.
After the bombs fell.
So they're going out into a real shithole to try to, I guess, reclaim it.
The reclamation day or something like that was a big part of the teaser.
know the reclamation day or something like that was a big part of the the teaser and uh and so so it's gonna be a very different game than than the the past entries entries in that regard
i was thinking sounds neat so you know pub g is suing fortnite for copying their game type
woody craft had a game called survival or Games. Survivor Games. You played it with me.
And in that, you sort of start,
and everyone at the beginning sort of rushes and gets their loot,
and then you kill each other.
And then when you kill someone, you get the loot off that guy.
And at the end of the game,
they put you in a smaller environment where you fight to the death,
and there's one winner at the end.
Winner, winner, chicken dinner.
Yeah.
Woody Craft should sue PUBG.
We had it before they did.
But you just copied the movie.
No one likes your horse shit, Kyle.
You just copied a movie that copied a movie.
But we called it survival games, not Hunger Games.
Unrelated, Kyle.
Well, they called it Fortnite, not PUBG.
That's how that works out. And fucking Korea Court. I don't know. I just thought of that. games totally unrelated kyle well they called it fortnight not pub g and fucking korea court
uh yeah no i just thought about i was like you know i think it i guess fortnight's more of a copy
than pub g is of what we had but i was like you know i don't know if you squint just the right way
i could spend lots of money in court and go nowhere well yeah i'm spacing out on what the
hunger games yeah yeah the hunger games which is just a real ripoff of battle royale if anyone out
there has never seen battle royale that's another really good movie it's japanese there are subtitles
so if that's a big turn off for you just you know don't don't don't pass go here. It's on Netflix.
They kidnap a class of Japanese school children and they inform them that they're going to fight to the death.
Oh, I've seen that.
They throw them out on an island.
It's on Netflix.
They call their names individually.
That's two different people kyle suzuki toyota
runs up there and he he gets they each get a bag and and the guy and the and the bad guy is like
some of you will get good weapons some of you will get not so good weapons. And he is not fucking kidding. Because one kid gets an Uzi machine gun.
Another kid gets a pot lid.
Here's a sponge.
A girl gets one of those fans.
You know, the little Japanese fans?
Do they have razors?
Can I interrupt?
No.
Does the fan become secretly useful in an unexpected way?
I thought for sure it did.
I thought for sure that she would be like,
and spikes would come out of it,
like that Mortal Kombat character.
No, no.
What point of reason is that the rifle not the fan?
One kid has grenades.
Another kid has a bulletproof vest.
One kid's got a crossbow, right?
Then another kid just...
What did he have?
Oh, just like a hatchet.
It really ran the gambit of the best of the best weaponry and the worst of the...
One kid's got a tracking device that shows him where all the other players are.
That's a good one.
Pretty helpful.
That's better than any weapon.
Well...
Except for the Uzi.
I'd rather have Uzi.
And it's a real rich get richer scenario because the Uzi kid is just laying waste.
Takes out the hatchet kid.
Now he's Uzi hatchet guy.
Exactly.
He's like, oh, you got grenades?
All right.
Put these in my bag.
Oh, you had a handgun.
Well, save that for later.
You had a bulletproof vest.
Thank you.
That happens in survival games on WoodyCraft as well.
It happened first!
Battle
Royale!
I think there might be a second one.
I don't know about that,
but it's incredibly violent.
I mean, just...
And look, if you've seen the
Hunger Games, and you were like,
where's the child murder?
That's the common reaction, yeah.
It's in Battle Royale.
I watched the Hunger Games.
Yeah, there is a second one.
I was like, what is this shit?
First of all, there's no sex.
There's no rape.
There'd be a lot of sex and rape on that island.
No rules?
Fuck her to death.
Let's go.
I mean, you're probably going to die anyway.
Only one of us is getting out of here.
She might even be DTF i mean she's probably dtf one of the guys in hunger games tries to pull
that move he's like you know we're probably gonna die here either aren't you a virgin you don't want
to do it with me at least once in hunger games no in battle royale oh there's a spider on the
microphone show get on camera!
Let me see.
I don't see it anymore.
Oh, that's perfect. I like that just as much.
No, no, it's fine.
Yeah, just ignore it, Kyle.
What was that little red violin-shaped thing on it, though?
Did you see that too, Woody?
A little red pattern on its back.
I know what you're doing.
What are you talking about? We're trying to help you identify it.
What kind of spider has a little red pattern on its back?
Yeah.
It's like...
I don't know. Two triangles pointing at each other?
Let me look.
It says Black Widow, but that can't be true.
No.
It's definitely not the one crawling on your pants.
You looked.
I googled Black Widow, and it's just really hot chicks I would love if I saw her crawling on my mic it's it's not on
your mic you'll be fine. Hey, Taylor, can I do an AMA with you?
Yeah, let's do it.
How old was everyone when they realized
that playing a sport wasn't going to be their career?
We did that one.
Because you probably hoped.
Oh, Kyle says we did that one.
Do you remember doing that one?
Where the fuck did this spider go?
I swear to God, it was right here.
For those of you listening in the car, Kyle's been
standing up, moving all of his equipment around because he
thinks there's a spider.
Do you think there's a spider or do you know
there's a spider? I swear to God,
I saw the spider.
You know, it's on my microphone so it's right
in my face. So just sit down
and then when it pops up again, you can kill it.
Fuck you!
It was pretty big and it was in my face. So just sit down and then when it pops up again, you can kill it. Fuck you!
It was pretty big.
It was not a kind I'm familiar with.
It was black.
It was not a black widow because it didn't have that glassy, reflective
bulbous ass.
Don't worry, Kyle. I'm not worried.
You shouldn't be worried.
I think it's on me.
It's under one of your layers. a spider can't hide when you're naked
it's inside me it's inside me you're gonna be like that uh that black guy from that clip we
watched earlier where he explodes into all the little spiders show us your anus and we'll let
you know if it's there. Ah, forego that.
It'd be a highlight, I bet.
If I actually did it.
If I called your bluff right there.
Kyle!
Bleach it, Kyle! Bleach it!
And this episode of PKA
is going to be on Vimeo.
Because Kyle's asshole makes a cameo
at three hours and seven minutes
or whatever the hell we're at.
You're pretty close.
I think we have less than an hour until four hours.
You can sit there and risk it with this spider.
You're going to be fine.
You're going to be kosher.
You're going to be two thumbs up.
If anything, it'll bite you
and you'll build a little resistance.
I can't believe he's actually freaking out about this.
Yeah, I I buy it.
I thought he was hamming up the spider fear.
Now... Make sure you don't have any ear critters.
But I think...
God damn it.
Did we get all of the advertisements done?
Or you got one more, I believe.
See, now I just have to pretend like that didn't happen.
Now we just gotta...
Just gotta...
Gotta move on.
It was on the microphone!
See, I got to have the microphone here!
I don't have a choice.
You'll be fine.
No.
It got spooked and ran away.
It's more afraid of you than you are... That's probably not true. It should be. I'll be fine. It got spooked and ran away. It's more afraid of you than you are. That's probably not true.
It should be. I'll squish that.
I don't know. You're pretty scared.
I don't
like them. Don't like them.
Don't like them at all.
So Postmates, I'll talk
about my personal experience with Postmates after I
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I'm going to be using this.
Like tomorrow, I will definitely be using this to get myself some free orders.
I used Postmates a ton when we were in Colorado.
And now that I'm in Atlanta, I use it a ton as well.
Chiz turned me on to it.
I think it's his favorite delivery option because they deliver from so many different places
whether you want
McDonald's or
a really fancy steak and baked potatoes
I've seen them
deliver from places like Morton's
like $100
they'll bring you $100 worth of steak and seafood
or you can order from someone like
Zaxby's or Wendy's or McDonald's or something like that and get a value meal.
You can have them go to Walgreens Pharmacy and get whatever you want.
They'll get you condoms and bubble gum if you send them to do so.
It's excellent, excellent service, big fan.
So go to that website, use code PKA, get your $100 of free deliveries, and, yeah, make that happen. I'm a big fan. Go to that website. Use code PKA. Get your $100 of free deliveries.
Make that happen. I'm a big fan.
I love
not having to go out to get things like that.
I've used it before and it's fantastic.
It's an excellent, excellent service.
We would get Starbucks in the morning
using Postmates.
The drivers are always
courteous.
They're always pretty punctual.
It's the future of eating.
And one of those things like there's some places where you can
special order stuff, but if
you're there in person, you don't want to hassle
them. So like at Starbucks,
maybe you don't want to waste
time for the people behind you in line,
or maybe you don't want to waste time for the people behind you in line, or maybe you don't
want to look too much like a weirdo ordering some froofy, silly coffee with soy milk and
two shots of this and one shot of vanilla and all that stuff. But if you're sending some other guy
to go get it, who cares? It's really easy. Just click the option. So when I order Chipotle
burritos or stuff like that, like that,
I'm like,
oh yeah,
yeah.
Double this and half that and light on the Mayo.
And you know,
you can,
you can really curtail the,
the order to whatever you want.
I dig it.
They serve my area.
No,
I'm excited.
They,
no one serves my area.
They,
I punched you my address.
Like I,
when I had a broken leg in Reno,
there was no one who served that hotel
except the pizza delivery
place.
Suddenly, I can get all these things.
Pizza gets old
very quickly.
Postmates will have restaurants you've never even
heard of.
You've been in an area for years and you never knew
that there was some little hot wing place or some little gourmet burger place that was in a shopping mall
or around a corner or something like that and holy crap this is delicious i uh i've been getting
some great stuff this is neat well i'm psyched i have a new new option yeah man i'm absolutely
taking advantage of that free money
the fuck they bring things from auto zone yeah yeah and if you think about at first i was like
yeah at first i was like that is silly right why would you need a delivery from auto zone
unless your car's broken down and you need a part to make it work that's a super logical place to
get a delivery from that makes a ton of sense. Oh shit, my car's stuck
until I get XYZ piece. Wouldn't
you know it? This guy will deliver XYZ
piece. If your carburetor just went out,
you can literally go to Amazon
and be like, hey, I need a new carburetor.
And some guy will go up there
and bring you a carburetor and you can get
rolling again. I love that idea.
Postmates, you mean. Postmates, yeah.
Definitely not Amazon amazon that'll take
days you'll be out of a job i'm glad i said amazon and not one of the other things i could
have said yeah postmates i don't think anyone else delivers from amazon i mean autozone postmates
that's why all right now i see yeah instead of autozone i was saying yeah yeah yeah amazon's
that autozone but yeah that's or the other reason you might want to do it is you're dirty.
Sometimes I'm filthy when I work on a car,
and it might be nice to have something brought to me instead of...
Oh, that's like a badge of honor at AutoZone, though, you know?
Well, it's not a badge of honor when your wife says,
my steering wheel is filthy.
Oh, the car I bought?
Do you want any more paint my numbers forms or not?
You mean my steering wheel is dirty?
Get out there and clean it.
You guys will be wonderful husbands.
Kyle and I wouldn't do well in a marriage.
That's advice.
And use the armor all before you degrease.
Hey, what wanted to blowjob
before the jacuzzi.
Before the jacuzzi.
I played all of those clips the other day for a girl.
I was telling her how much I love
Mel Gibson. She was like, yeah, but he had those outbursts.
I'm like, I loved him more because
of the outbursts. It's not, yeah, but
he had those outbursts. It's, yeah,
and he had those outbursts.
I'm like, have you heard
the secret recordings that his wife made of him?
She's like, no.
I'm like, oh, those are much better than calling a cop sugar tits or saying that the Jews control the media.
This man wanted a blowjob before the jacuzzi.
At one point, he's so exasperated with this bitch.
He's, I'm not exagger'm not I'm not exactly ready at
all he's breathing he's he's yelling at he's like you are the devil you walk
around those tight fucking pants you can see your pussy I hope you get raped by a
gang of niggers did he he say that? Yeah!
And after he says the really offensive things,
Kyle's not exaggerating. He's like a feral,
angry dog where he'll just be on the other end going,
If anyone out there, we've said this before.
Did he get divorced?
If he got divorced,
and she took all that fucking
apocalypto money with her and if you've never
listened to the mel gibson tapes they are a hoot opie and anthony have a good uh old you know kind
of commentary critique of it i'm not sure if you've heard that kyle the ona kind of take on it
that was funny at the time i'm so scared scared of this spider right now. Because the microphone is touching my chin. It's here.
It's here somewhere.
It's probably in your drink.
Nothing to worry about.
Maybe drowned.
Drowned?
I think it's drowned.
I don't know.
May have succumbed to the water.
I want to do this AMA question.
Sure.
We are now in an alternate reality where YouTube and Twitch never existed.
Where and what do each of you see yourself doing?
Do you find some other platform to perform on?
Do you get a nine to five and want to crash your car every day headed into work?
How do creative people fare in a world with severely stunted creative outlets?
I think something else would have came along.
I think something else would have came along.
Like, if it weren't YouTube, then, like, I don't know,
MySpace Video would have been a thing,
or E-Bomb's World would have taken the fuck off, you know? I know Black Sheep, one of those, yeah.
There would have been some video-sharing platform,
but I guess if you're just choosing some sort of alternate reality
where nobody comes up with a video sharing platform,
which I don't think exists
because it's just such a natural way for things to progress,
especially when all of a sudden everyone has a camera phone, right?
I don't know.
I like sales.
I still like sales.
It's fun selling things and pitching things.
So something there.
I might have went back to school and done something
in marketing, perhaps.
Or I might have continued on into
doing finance stuff. I don't know.
I was enjoying that at the time
when I was doing it.
I liked selling cars. That was always fun.
I loved it.
I still miss it.
Yeah, sales is fun.
I don't it. Yeah, sales is fun. I don't know.
So for me, it doesn't even have to be if YouTube never existed.
It's like if I never found Hutch's videos.
The reason I started making videos was that I wanted to play with Hutch.
I thought that we would win Call of Duty games all night long,
and the only way to get noticed was to make videos.
That's how it all started for me.
I've talked about that before.
So had that not happened, I'd still be at Cisco.
I'd probably be in management by now,
or some senior, senior level tech job
that is practically the same as management.
That's where I was headed.
And it's almost where I was,
but I don't think I'd like it. Like I, it was, it was the YouTube and my, and what's come after
that has been just such a dream. My bad days are better than good days of a nine to five. You know,
I, that's, uh, I don't know.
I feel really lucky that this worked out,
but it had YouTube and Twitch never come along for me.
I think I'd just be in management living a regular life.
That was a little mundane, not the joy.
Yeah. I mean, I just wouldn't have ended up doing it like i if youtube wasn't around for me to poke into i the
reason i kind of got into it i mean there were people i watched i was like i just want to chat
with them see what they're like for real but it was also like i watched people who were doing it
at the time in like 2010 uh and was like these people are not funny these people
are not entertaining they're not telling good stories they're just they'll tell they'll say a
sentence and then they'll say nothing for a minute and a half and then say another sentence and it's
like jesus christ like what the barrier of entry is so low and the competition is so low i may as
well give it a shot.
Worst case scenario is people go,
hey, idiot, you're just as boring and stupid as the people you were watching.
So figuring I may as well try.
That same thing exists now in the paramotor world.
Like, it reminds me of gaming in its infancy
in that there's just not that much competition there.
So everyone's, this tiny little community
is thirsting for more and more content.
And sometimes you're like, oh my God,
it took two minutes for you to start your launch?
Like this is making me crazy.
Or you're not talking or your audio is so terrible.
It was funny for me to bring that up.
That I can't understand you saying,
why are you at full throttle all the time when you want to say something?
And there's just, yeah, there's sort of a great divide
between the people who try to get it really right
and the dozens that don't.
Yeah.
Yeah, that's true.
Do any of you plan on doing any traveling would you ever consider
traveling abroad for a pka adventure let's say example walking waking up in a different city
in europe every day for a week would be a hell of an experience and a show
i wonder how that would work okay that might be pretty cool would that be the kind of boost that
like ice got on his first rv trip would
people just find it super compelling if every day we woke up and like amsterdam then london then
paris it would all be contingent on what we were doing just being in those cities wouldn't be
enough we'd have to have shit planned like crazy you know like the reason ice took and kyle can
speak to this more than me but from the outside
looking in i don't watch his streams i kind of just get the recap from you guys it seems like
he gets it by surrounding himself with a bunch of miscreants and then sort of as a third party
observing and sometimes participating in the antics that these miscreants get into
right yeah yeah absolutely um and and we don't have. We don't have a rat pack of sorts to prod into illegal situations that we can gain from.
Sorry for speaking too accurately.
You hit the nail cut on the head there, Taylor.
Yeah, I don't think you should look at ICE as any kind of an example for what you would want to do or be like because because
you know he's he he may not realize it but he's he's slowly ruining his life with what he's doing
there like it's gonna be impossible to like first of all he's not earning an enormous amount of
money um and he's losing a lot on like the cost of doing business in his line of business like
rvs and shit right yeah there's not a ton of profit involved.
There's just not nearly as much as a successful YouTuber might make.
But meanwhile, he's accruing a vast criminal record,
a vast internet history that will make it difficult to do really anything in the future.
I bet his credit is terrible.
His credit is absolutely horrible.
That's a
known factor. It has been.
It was terrible before his multiple evictions.
He's,
you know, his family wants
nothing to do with him.
Oh, is that true? Why is that?
That's sad. Because of what he does
and because of who he is and all the horrible things
that I'm sure he did before. I must be...
So I don't have the...
I just see some highlights that get up.
He looks to me like the ringmaster
of a freak show. And I don't look at
Barnum, P.T. Barnum
and say, what a miscreant you are.
Like, no, you're just the ringmaster of a...
No.
He's a severely autistic man
who stumbles his way
through life and
does a lot of
terrible things.
Name two. Is he actually autistic?
Oh, yeah.
I mean, borderline sexually assaulting
every woman who comes into
contact with him.
And sort of, you know,
apparently, I guess the word
around that seems now is he sets up a lot of things.
A lot of things are scripted and fake.
Everyone's very upset with him on his subreddit about it being scripted and fake.
But there's a big part of me that's like, is it or is just the outline scripted and faked?
And then the reactions are kind of real.
I don't know.
There was a huge thread of proof. I didn't
read through the whole thing, but they were
little video clips and stuff like
that.
Yeah, Ice isn't your
roadmap for success if you're going to
be doing that sort of thing.
You wouldn't want his kind of success
or his kind of fan base necessarily
because they hate him.
Now that's the thing I've discovered.
I'm sorry to interrupt.
No, no, go ahead.
PKA has a bit of that too.
Like when you make a show that's kind of heartless, you know,
like we've laughed at that two-headed Siamese twin or whatever.
Don't be surprised when your fan base
uses you as a role model
and turns that magnifying lens on you.
And then, I don't even want to say it,
insults your color correction, right?
That's what happens.
Opie and Anthony, right?
We have Anthony.
Kumi comes on and says,
yeah, our fan base is so mean.
Right.
That's what happens when you make a mean show.
That's to be expected.
If you go out there and just make flowers and rainbows all the time,
then you probably develop an audience that's pretty kind.
But if you're Ice Poseidon, my gosh, they're following the leader.
They're following the leader there.
Yeah.
They seem to really, really hate him um for a
number of reasons um the chat's pretty pretty pretty together on that he's about to start
streaming soon do you know or maybe it's not an open thing why does he not like why is his family
disowned him i don't know exactly i know he's I know he's from Florida and they want nothing to do.
I'm sure they've gotten tons and tons of grief because of who he is, right?
Because, you know, of course they've been all doxxed and everyone knows who they are.
And I'm sure they get, I mean, he gets the cops called on on virtually every stream.
Like, yesterday, seven cop cars show up and everybody's having to get out their IDs and they get kicked out of the resort that they just spent $3,000 on.
Who knows what's happening at his parents' house, right?
I bet it's not just pizzas late at night.
It's probably scary stuff, right?
Well, that sucks.
That paints a little sadder picture of us.
A little, maybe not sadder, because he is making money and this is a career path he's chosen.
But I guess a more realistic view of him.
When he came on the show the first time, Ice was suffering a low, right?
They would call him Errand Andy, maybe? Something like that.
Because his streams had gotten a little less entertaining
they felt like it was the result of dating that girlfriend etc etc and then he hit a higher high
than he had ever hit before amazing right and that's where he was two three weeks ago
now he's at a lower low what follows this you know the ice roller coaster he's still getting views it's not so so you know he was he was down to like
three and five k views at at one point but he's still getting you know 30 to 40k views right now
you know it's it's not that they've stopped watching it's that they're watching for a
different reason and they're starting to dislike him more and more and they're starting to realize
that like the whole like i don't wash and i'm just out for my nut thing isn't just a
character like he literally hasn't used shampoo in so long he doesn't remember you know like
yeah he just rinses his hair you know like that's disgusting i don't know about you guys maybe it's
because i have a little more talion in me but if i go more than a day without shampoo and i like
run my hands through even in the shower it's greasy it's greasy as shit yeah yeah my beard will get greasy like i have to shampoo that oh yeah use
shampoo as long as he can remember it though well they were talking about gross they're talking
about like uh doing when they're in the playboy shoot or something like that how one of the girls
remarked how like dandruffy and greasy his head was and like how gross it was um and you know we saw that
girl touch him the other day and then smell her hand and she had that look that was like she just
she she had that look of disgust like she realized she just touched a filthy person like he just
doesn't wash man like and that's part of that's not a persona that's a that's a a mental defect you know if you if you don't in his back oh man i
remember i remember after we had ice on i went into the pka subreddit and someone it wasn't a
highly upvoted comment or anything but it was it was down there and only like a couple upvotes and
it was haha lol ice got these idiots to believe he actually doesn't shower
or brush his teeth.
And at the time I was like, I mean, I didn't fully buy
into it, but he seemed a little convincing.
It's good to know we were vindicated.
At least a little bit.
I mean, the evidence is right there. If you look at all
that back acne and his teeth,
I've never
noticed his teeth.
Yeah, they're yellow and gross.
I mean, to
each his own. I mean, he seems to be
fucking angry. No one wants
yellow dirty teeth.
It seems like these leachy streamer chicks
are easy as fuck.
Like he's always got
them coming on.
Scrolling through his subreddit,
they are loving Caroline.
There's Caroline sympathy threads, Caroline appreciation threads.
What a 180 they have turned.
I'm going to say that this crowd base is so malleable.
That sounds like they're manipulative.
They're manipulatable.
But they change direction so much.
There will be a positive change again.
Fickle.
Thank you.
That's better.
I don't think this ice downturn is permanent.
We shall see.
I remember just, like I said, I don't keep in touch with this community,
aside from when one of you guys gives me a little update.
And last time I got an update from you, I went over there,
and it was like all the little checkmark posts.
And at the end, it was like, must be content King Ice.
And it was him sitting there like on a throne with a cigar, like looking all, ooh, look at me.
I'm Mr. King, like a flattering photo.
And then now, just now, it's a bunch of people posting pictures of themselves like mowing the lawn, being like, day one of never watching Ice again.
Decided to get a job.
Decided to cook a meal. Decided to cook a meal.
Decided to clean my room.
Here's a guy who has a before and after picture.
And he's like fat and, you know, not looking great.
And he's like a freaking physique model on the other one.
Like, yeah.
Day one of not watching ice.
Got ripped.
Yeah.
It's funny.
of not watching ice got ripped yeah it's funny yeah you know it's it's a it i saw them i saw someone on his subreddit discussing this you know and they're like there's 17 000 of us online right
now we have different opinions about this stuff so yeah there's a there's a whole group of people
that despise him there's a whole group of people who think he is the content king.
There's people who love this girl or that girl.
The only thing that seems to be unanimous is the love for Bjorn.
And if you look right now, the whole subreddit's theme is Bjorn, right? Like he's the sidebar, he's the header, he's everything.
They seem to love Bjorn.
I love Bjorn.
Bjorn's the header. He's everything. They seem to love Bjorn. I love Bjorn. Bjorn's likable.
There are 17,000 people currently on Ice's subreddit.
Yeah, that's what I said.
Bjorn is great, dude.
When they're in the backseat of that car,
he did a really bad stream the other day
where they just drove around for three hours.
It was when that black guy was trying to sell them weed.
Bjorn and they drive over.
It wasn't a scary situation at all. It was literally a was when that black guy was trying to sell them weed and Bjorn and they drive. And it wasn't a scary situation at all.
It was literally a one armed black guy trying to sell them weed.
At one point, he says to me, he's like, let me get in the car.
We all will go find it.
I got one arm.
What the fuck am I going to do?
He's like, I'm going to hurt you.
I got one fucking arm here.
And I was like, that's a good point.
Like, I don't care how big you are.
You got one arm.
Me and you are going to you're going to have a hard time. You're in a're in a tough spot yeah yeah if i can get close and like wrap that arm up like
like you're in trouble here you you got one arm um and but they drive away and like bjorn hadn't
said anything throughout the whole thing and then bjorn is like i have never been so scared in my
life and i was i just died. I've listened to him say that
four or five times now.
I have never been so scared in my entire life.
He was so afraid of that guy.
Where was he when that happened?
They were in the backseat of a truck
doing a drug deal on the side of the road.
Was that when they were in Austin
at the video game thing?
Nah, I don't know exactly where they were. No, they were in Austin at the video game thing? Ah, nah.
I don't know exactly where they were. Oh, no, no. They were in St. Louis, I think. Sounds right,
then. Yeah.
I have never been so scared.
He had multiple guns visible. North Carolina
is still debating on whether or not to make four ounces
of pot legal. There was one guy,
it seems like all these lawmakers
have no idea that four ounces
is quite a bit of pot.
I'm not a pot guy.
Even I know an ounce is about as much as I think a recreational user would usually keep on hand.
You'd have to be a pretty active guy to need more than an ounce as your personal supply, I think.
And four ounces, there's one lawmaker who's just like, this is a ludicrous amount of pot to have in your house.
It's a quarter pound.
That's a QP.
Nobody needs four ounces.
Like, if someone's never seen,
Kyle and I saw that amount of weed,
not all together,
but when we were at the dispensaries there.
And if you're not a marijuana smoker, you hear something like four ounces,
and you think, oh, ounces, four ounces.
I've had a four-ounce steak.
That's like, that wouldn't even fill me up for dinner.
Is that like a human head worth of pot?
It's a lot.
It's more than that.
A merca head?
It's one of my heads of pot.
Because it's just plant matter. It's a lot. heads of the pot. It's just plant matter.
It's a lot.
It's a lot.
It's just plant matter.
Dry it out.
There's a lot in four ounces.
Yeah.
It's a lot.
Hopefully they pass it.
You should be able to have a pound of marijuana on you.
A garbage bag full.
Canada's about to make it legal.
Recreationally.
Nationwide.
Good for Canada.
Right?
And that's going to really pressure our states to either crack down on the Canadian border, which we're not going to do.
We can't even handle the border.
That's a problem.
Or we'll slowly start to legalize, or I guess slowly start to legalize faster, if that makes any sense at all.
Yeah.
Because we're already legalizing it.
They need to do something on a federal level before, you know,
that's the real ticket.
They just legalized it medicinally
here in Missouri.
Missouri. I did not think that was
coming at all. Yeah.
Traditionally, the Republican states
are a little slower to get on board than the
Democratic ones.
But, you know, Missouri's coming
around. North Carolina, people don't know,
is completely controlled by
the Republicans, except for the governor.
Some Republicans, or some conservatives,
or maybe I should say some religious
right conservatives, have the
position that God made
it, therefore it should be
legal. And it's like, oh yeah, well however
you get there.
I don't give a shit how you arrive at this conclusion as long
as you're standing on the same square as me all right totally right like like it's becoming an
issue the same way as gay uh gay marriage was an issue where it was like most people don't give a
shit 65 do not think it's uh 65% believe that it is morally acceptable
to smoke marijuana.
That was the newest poll.
Yeah, like you just wait for that tipping point
and it's going to all tip.
Like with gay marriage,
my grandparents are fiercely Christian,
but when I ask them about it
or it gets brought up,
they're like, oh yeah,
gay marriage got legalized everywhere.
What do you think? don't they don't give
a shit like yeah
I'm just more worried about taxes
or I'm more worried about this or that
or something like it's not something that enters into most
people's mind there's like a small subsection of
fundamentalists who really really give a
fuck we're like it's gonna lead to fucking your dog
and cat it's like hey
okay show me
tell me more about this dog would that mean oh this
guy was fucking his dog roll it back get rid of the gays too keep rolling keep rolling like no
pedophiles and everything they felt like you know once you have sex with men you start having sex
with boys that's one thing that is creepy is i'm noticing more and more articles being like
this six-year-old drag queen is dancing around in a gay pride parade with like
people blowing themselves in public and this is why it's beautiful have you noticed that new trend
with articles where they add the tagline at the end and this is and it's a good thing and it's
a positive thing and this is why that's good pay attention to some of the articles you see and it's
it's like whoa this is pretty orwellian you're you're putting your title in why that's good pay attention to some of the articles you see and it's like whoa this is pretty
Orwellian you're putting your title in there
that's already skewed and then you're telling me before the
title's even over and I can look at the content
and that's a bad thing and that's
a good thing that used to be called
a reading the article
and trying to figure out what was happening
are you linking something right now?
yeah let's watch this
it's a parade,
so there's, like,
dance music in the background,
but you don't need
the music at all.
I'm at zero.
Jesus Christ.
Oh, I'm sorry.
I started playing it.
When you say, like,
oh, there's no way, like,
large swaths of people
think that men and women
should be able to fight
if the man, you know,
believes himself to be a woman
and is trans.
Like, that's not a big group.
Ready, set, play. That is a big group ready that is a big group yeah i so you know here's a kid i i just it's not that
i deny that these people exist it's that i deny that there's a big group of them and i could be
wrong we were in the um the patreon hangout last month and uh spider pig was saying like oh no in
his world these whack jobs are super common they're he lives in a i forget where in california
california yeah yeah like la okay and uh and he says that you know it's really normal for him
for me like i have never seen antifa, ever. Not a single thing.
I see these overweight, feminist, purple-haired, nose-ringed women
who are angry on the internet, but not really in real life.
Everyone I see in real life is just fairly normal.
I mean, look at the crowd.
They're all cheering for this child.
It's wildly
inappropriate to sexualize a child
and put them in a march about
homosexuality
or any kind of sexual preference at all.
It doesn't matter what it is. That's fucked up.
You don't include a child
in a sexual movement
to try and garner more approval.
Oh, he's got makeup on.
That kid hasn't figured out where he stands on this yet.
Do you think that kid independently arrived?
He's figured it out.
You think?
No, no, he hasn't.
No, no, you can play the game of,
oh, you know, I've seen kids and they're four
and they're gay as the day is long.
But like, if we're being real,
no, this kid doesn't fully understand what he's doing.
At some point, this kid will have testosterone
coursing through him, and he will
want to fuck everything.
Oh my god. I think I've
mentioned this before. I remember my high school
had two floors. I would walk up the
stairs, and the other people would walk down, and I would
just look at girls' crotches
thinking, oh, the possibilities.
Every single one of these girls
has a pussy. If just one of these girls has a pussy.
If just one of them would be nice enough to share it with me, that would be so great.
But the desire to just fuck everything that hits you when you're like 17, this kid's not
there yet.
This kid's in a very different spot in his life.
Let's watch the second video. It's higher quality and more of a close up. It's just not yet. This kid's in a very different spot in his life. Let's watch the second video.
It's higher quality and more of a close-up.
It's just not okay.
Oh, goodness.
This is great.
Three, two, one.
Oh, wait, wait.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
That was a fake out.
Three, two, one.
Oh, you faked me out.
Play.
Look, this kid has figured it out.
All right?
This kid is very gay.
This kid is not interested in any ladies.
And testosterone is only going to make him like dudes more.
You're coming off as anti-dancer, and it's hurting me too.
You have no idea.
This kid is 10 years old.
Sex isn't a part of his life yet, which is why...
I was 10.
No 10-year-old or no 8-year-old has has ever been like i want to go to the gay pride parade they
don't have a conception of that they're out playing with sticks and making and making little bows and
arrows or or even playing with dolls if that's what you like like they don't want to this is
like in the sexual movements and the truck like it you don't like the hip thrust? You don't see how this is pretty fucked? Oh, I mean, he's kind of cute.
I like that hairdo.
I like when you take the other side to this extent.
You know, I like his little light-up shoes.
I was just about to compliment that.
In two or three years when he's of age.
Because he'll be 12 or 13.
Yeah, I mean, if you got parents' consent.
If you have the parents' consent.
I learned this recently.
From Roy Moore.
If you have the parents' consent,
then nothing else matters.
They probably turned off the comments and ratings
in all these videos
because so many people were in favor of it
and thought and realized it was a good thing.
Well, the name of the channel is Desmond is Amazing.
Oh, shit.
Here's like a more in-depth video.
All right.
Maybe this is what we need to watch.
Dude, this makes me so fucking sad for this kid.
Oh, look.
Let's get a more.
Let's get an idea of what this kid's about.
All right.
We don't have to watch all nine minutes of this.
But let's hear him out.
All right.
Three, two, one, play. minutes of this but like let's see what let's hear him out all right three two one play
oh the audio is so quiet it's ruined
i'm sorry i i mean it was actually i tested it before the show and it was good and it was
fucked up i should have made this like you're he's like you're a drag kid. My name is Desmond is amazing.
I'm an LGBT activist.
A drag kid.
Yeah, that kid is speaking.
My kid is be yourself no matter what.
Heavy gay list.
He's a 10 year old drag kid.
Oh my.
Wow.
He's a 10 year old drag kid and an icon in the LGBTQ community. Oh
My god, this is fucking this is sad for this kid. Oh
Yeah, my wife and I had a discussion about this recently I was just like I
Was saying I came out of the closet when I was only three.
I came out of the closet when I was three,
meaning I put on some of my mom's shoes and
traipsed around or something. Oh my god, you're gay?
You have no conception of how to
wipe your own ass yet, but you know
your sexual preference.
That's a slow three-year-old, but did anyone here
wear their mom's shoes?
No, I never did that.
I did. I wore my dad's shoes.
You were just trying to hide them from her,
Woody.
If I'm wearing them, I'm struck with them.
I've never dove
into my fascination with my mother's shoes
until just now. I can see
there might be something there.
Every pair I'm wearing is a pair I can't be beaten by.
There was even a point where
I think she asked me to wear her shoes
because they needed to be stretched out
and my feet were bigger
and they would stretch out her shoes
and make her fit her feet, I guess.
I remember that happened.
But yeah, did I wear her shoes?
Because they were, like, I don't know.
It would be like grabbing her, I don't know,
someone's baseball bat or a weapon.
That's why you probably did it.
Every pair of shoes you wear
is a pair of shoes that can't be utilized against you.
You're just holding your ground.
I have ownership over these shoes now.
I've stood on them.
It's interesting you hadn't thought about it.
Well, this girl, or this boy,
is like, I knew I was gay when i was three like what first of all that kid was told by
a parent or a guardian oh you've known you were gay since you were three you've known you were
part of this movie since you were three kids don't remember saying things like that when they're
three they kind of reformulate life as their parents inform them in a lot of ways about those
ages like you know all the stories your parents have told you about how young you were and you did something
and it's become so real to you, you feel
like you can believe it. Oh, when you were
two or three years old, you stuck a bean
up your nose and we all laughed about it.
Yeah, I think I can almost remember doing
Yeah, I can remember doing that.
Yeah, you kind of formulate that.
This is fucked up. This is child abuse.
You don't start injecting ideas about
sexuality into children. I can't believe that's the thing that has to be said. You don't start injecting ideas about sexuality into children.
I can't believe that's the thing that has to be said.
You don't do that.
Do you think that 10-year-old Hugh Taylor,
a wee lad of only 5'11",
could have been convinced to be this little fellow?
Because I don't think so.
You'd have been like, no.
I want hockey skates. I don't want platform you'd have been like uh no this is i want to go i want i want
hockey skates i don't want platform shoes with goldfish in them but everyone is different like
if i was groomed since i was three yeah to every everything that's about me i don't think so you're
not you're not just a little boy you're a little boy who likes dresses you're a little boy who
likes drag but why do i like you like this because of this and that and the other thing i i swear to
god like these kids that are this involved in any political movement doesn't matter which side of the aisle from the age of
Like three onward they're like vegan cat. This is like a nerd
They are not making the decisions in the household
This is a nurture nature versus nature thing
But I remember there was this thing where like they raised this boy to be a girl
And like his whole life even like from infancy
But but he's he bucked against it
his whole life trying and then eventually killed himself ended up killing himself yeah this kid
isn't bucking it this kid's loving it he's that guy who ended up killing himself was bucking it
at this age yes yes the whole time no because no no experiment no yeah you're wrong because i know
the experiment and at this age there wasn't a huge amount of pushback yet,
because those sexual hormones had yet to take place.
Like, to put children in this kind of position
before they've even begun puberty
and have a real conception of what sex is, is abuse.
That's not okay.
Well, maybe we need to show them what sex is.
I think that at these gay pride parades,
he's already seen what some people think.
I agree with Taylor 100% now.
There's only one thing to do.
Let him try both items on the menu and see what she likes.
At 10.
Hey, there's not just two items, Woody.
There are lots of genders.
Thousands.
Millions.
Are we not into millions yet?
I don't know.
I feel like it's
Taco Bell, where there's really just two ingredients
and you vary them up and act like there's
more. It is. I want a
chalupa. May as well have a taco, retard.
Same shit.
It's very true. It's the same couple
ingredients and people keep saying
their secret sauce is a little different.
No, it's all ketchup
and mayonnaise you liar just mixed together well i'll admit that that is disturbing to look at
and it seems very uh wrong not because of the the the gayness or whatever but just because he's so
young and and and i'm just not sure that he understands what's going on 100%, although he seems like a really bright kid, that kid's always going to be very gay.
That kid is extra, extra gay.
Remind me in 10 years.
We'll see how it goes.
But my whole point wasn't about being anti-gay it was about injecting any sort of sexual agenda and using a child as a mouthpiece
for that or even as a shield to deflect certain criticisms of what you might be doing as a group
that's inappropriate and that's fucked up so wait i have a i have a question for taylor
taylor hypothetical situation you've got a kid boy or girl girl, I don't care. And it's 15.
And it seems on the fence.
Like it's still figuring things out.
Do you not guide it towards straight a little bit?
Life's a little easier on the straight side.
You don't have to fight against any kind of oppression.
You get grandkids.
Maybe that's something you'd like, a family.
Do you just sort of like, all right, you're you're straddling the the fence here oh i mean if it really is
the kind of thing that's born and not influenced which i think there's a gray area there i i i
think they would eventually come out on the side that they were born as or you know influenced to
the most which would probably be straight because most of society
is straight. That's why we have a society
because it keeps going.
I think I would probably...
Are you suggesting gay people can't procreate,
you bastards?
God, I've stepped into a quagmire now.
I don't know
if I can stomach this amount of bigotry
and
ignorance.
Kyle's going to go start his
child drag
or what was it? Kid queen?
Kid drag? Drag kid?
And they're straddling the fence.
They'll soon be straddling
something else. And Kyle's renamed
himself Mr. Fence.
So Taylor, I think you were about to admit that you slightly
push him towards the straight side.
Oh, like I
I'd really try and understand
them first and like talk to them about how they
were feeling and everything, but like
at the end of the day, I would try
and give an accurate assessment of it.
Of like, you know, here are the challenges
you're going to face being gay.
And here are, you know,
compare that with being straight.
At the end of the day, I'll abandon you.
I do think most of the time.
One challenge is I'll stop loving you.
Well, I'm going to talk to my buddy,
old Mike Pence.
We got hooked up to a couple car batteries in the back.
Your mother's probably going to kill herself.
At least that's what she says.
That's what she says.
You like your grandparents?
Because you're never going to see them again.
Most of me believes that it is
pretty ingrained.
I knew I should have taken you
on those Disney cruises.
God damn it.
I don't think that ingrainment pops up
until you're in puberty.
I didn't know it was pride week
poor taylor
no i like the joke like i i would encourage i would love my child whether they were gay or
straight or whatever i mean would i rather have a straight child of course i would much rather
have grandchildren than no grandchildren. I think every...
You want your bloodline to go on.
You want your lineage to keep
going, right?
They could get a sperm donor or
a surrogate.
Kyle, this is defeating the entire
purpose of human evolution.
You want your genealogy to continue. That's why people
reproduce. It would continue, right?
Let's say you have a handsome...
There's not a lot of you who never want children
because you breed yourself out of existence.
You'll just never be...
Those genes of selfishness
and conceitedness and
I want to live myself for me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me.
That goes away.
And people like Woody prop up
who go, I don't want children.
Then you raise children.
And there's more Woodys than fewer Giles.
Scotty is handling all that for me.
Scott's had several children
that he knows about
that he claims.
And they'll carry on
the lineage of silliness
on our side of the fence.
And I might have one or two I don't know about.
You never know.
Chicks lie.
That leads me into my next question.
Has human evolution stopped?
Yes.
No.
Ooh.
So let me just lay out the thought process here, right?
It used to be survival of the fittest.
It used to be that the better that you succeeded and thrived in society, the more your bloodline
went on.
Now, it seems that it's survival of the sluttiest, the least responsible, survival of those who
didn't, you know, the more rapid generational turnover of those who aren't going to school.
That doesn't mean that evolution has stopped.
It just means that different traits are being selected, right?
So up until for a long time, the evolutionary direction was bigger, faster, stronger, smarter.
And I think now that is not the case.
So while evolution hasn't stopped, the traits that are selected have changed quite a bit.
are selected have changed quite a bit and so you may indeed end up with some sort of an idiocracy type situation where the dummies are the ones who are stupid enough to have four five six children
that they can't support and so they have six dumb children who go out and have six times six is 36
dumb children and and three generations later like the dummies outnumber the
smart people six to one or something crazy which is not to say no one with six kids is smart because
i know a guy well there's mormons there's a lot of mormons who are very intelligent with six kids
he's not a mormon but he is really christian and i think of many kids i just think of mormon that's
what i go oh yeah oh yeah yeah actually i have, I have some paramotor friends that are Christian, and they come from big families,
and they would like to have big families, and I think highly of them.
But it does, yeah, it's tied into faith and poverty, it seems.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I mean, if you've got the extra cash for a flying machine, you might have the extra cash
for four kids, right?
No, that was one kid semester
Jimmy's gonna be a mechanic aren't you boy?
Keep this thing airworthy for me
Show me a wrench
Flight mechanic I don't work on my shit, though.
Shit, no.
He knows how to work on pre-98 sobs.
Ain't got no gas in it.
Hey, Doug.
See that?
Always thanks to the simplest things first.
Yeah, but evolution
will never stop
as long as there's genetic variation between
individuals and there's an environment that's pressuring
us into certain behaviors.
Yeah.
Kyle nailed it. I hadn't thought of it that way.
I thought, yeah.
Different traits are being rewarded.
Traits like
sluttiness.
And stupidity. And irresponsibility.
And spontaneity.
And that's not good, because if you have
someone who has traits of
spontaneity and irresponsibility, and they have
six kids on the government till,
and those kids are
only ever taught that lifestyle,
then they're more apt to go in that
direction.
I don't know.
And it's like you're...
2038 is going to have some awesome IRL streams.
Damn right.
Well, lucky you.
You'll be dead.
20 years from now, I'll be 65.
Still be watching it.
You'll have crashed decades ago.
That's a good point.
Yeah.
I think I've told this joke before.
One of my friends was like,
if you die, can I get your paramotor?
What good will it be?
Yeah, people have died.
What's left of it?
They're going to have to bury me in it.
It'll be all mangled around my skeleton.
Had to do some big repairs this week.
A whole new cylinder, new piston,
rings, some stuff.
Well, it's good that you're keeping up with that sort of thing.
Oh, Kyle, I can see the spider right there
on your mic.
No, it's on the arm.
Like, right on our
side behind that dial.
You can see it in your own
screen. Look. Blow on it.
Are you fucking with me?
No, you can see.
I just saw it. That little disc
in between there. There?
Further back. No, the higher one up.
No, no, no. The one on the arm.
Yeah, that one.
It just crawled in that little gap between them.
Blowing it.
It'll come out.
Fuck you.
That's what he tells Jackie every night.
And then she responds in kind.
Fuck you.
And then she does it.
You don't see it yet?
A little racted motherfucker.
Maybe it left again.
It'll come out eventually.
Yeah, when Woody
wants to get blown,
you just...
I was running a lighter all around.
That's pretty clever, actually.
It's too bad you won't reproduce.
I didn't see any spiders.
Except for the one on your shoulder.
I like the idea of Woody when you want to get
blown. I remember your rule from years and years
ago of if you watch me or you catch me
masturbating you have to finish me.
And I picture you being like
Jackie! Big news!
With your dick in your hand. Woody! What's up? like jackie big news rules are rules your amazon package is here
do you ever do that that would be hilarious it's brilliant
that's one rule i'm gonna steal from you and implement when I get married.
It's because she was creeping around.
She'd purposely catch me.
I don't know.
Sneaking through the hallways, bouncing around, opening the door real slow, watching.
It's like, all right, if you're doing that, we need a rule
in place.
Yeah, you gotta get involved.
Yeah, exactly. This is voyeurism.
I'm not an exhibitionist masturbating in my
bedroom for fun on a Tuesday evening.
Yeah.
Get in the game, woman.
We had the same rule growing up.
Do you catch your father sometimes?
Hey, Kyle!
I got a bane that needs flicked.
Don't play the game if you don't want to lose.
Sometimes you win, sometimes you lose.
What are you going to say?
I like that, George Bush.
Don't play the game if you don't want to.
Sometimes you win, sometimes you lose.
That's what he said.
Don't play the game if you don't want to.
Sometimes you win, sometimes you lose.
That's what he said.
I wonder how... I think about being once,
I think about thinking again.
I wonder how smart that guy was.
Went to Yale.
Right?
But did he earn his way into Yale?
Going to Yale doesn't mean shit
if you're a president's son.
Are you kidding me?
He literally was a president's son.
He graduated.
They don't just... shit if you're a president's son. Are you kidding me? He literally was a president's son. He graduated.
They don't just
wave you in.
He was in the Skull and Bones Society.
That guy was in
before he even got there.
On the other hand,
he couldn't have been a complete dummy.
Okay, he's a president's son son doesn't that imply some level of
genetic intelligence
winner
I don't think he's an actual dumb
person
it's just a joke
he's not brilliant
by any means I don't think he's an
exceptionally intelligent guy
who was our last brilliant president, though?
Obama.
I think Obama and Clinton are both regarded as being pretty smart.
Oh, Clinton's in some hot water.
Clinton's coming out with a new book.
What did Obama do that was smart?
What was his prerequisite?
He won the Nobel Peace Prize, Taylor.
He was a nobody when he got into his Ivy League school,
so that's kind of a thing.
Where do you go?
Which Ivy League did he go to?
I think his wife went to...
He went to Harvard Law, didn't he?
No, no, no.
University of Chicago or one of those.
And then for law school, he went to an Ivy.
It's a good school.
He's a smart guy.
I guess I'm just thinking of brilliant differently.
I'm trying to think of any president we've had
like an actual genius.
He did go to Harvard Law.
You're right.
Like an Einstein level.
But I guess Einstein level people don't get involved in politics.
They're doing something else.
Who do you think our dumbest president was ever?
I think the smartest president
in my actively watching politics
was probably
bill clinton like he was a road scholar he is pretty legit um yeah dumb guy for sure
and obama might be second and then on the republican side it's like reagan bush trump
another bush maybe maybe hw is the smartest recent republican maybe i don't know it's hard to
gauge they're all in so many different situations it's difficult to compare and it's not like they
have a standardized presidential test that'd be hilarious i wish we had access to something like
that yeah yeah and and i think we probably overblow the intelligence of the really old presidents
you know because we kind of read everything we kind of want to read into it it's like ah this
founding father said this because he meant this a brilliant order of his time and it's like who's
to say we don't really know right did you ever see the uh the old snl um like ronald reagan bits that they would do where
uh that the joke was that he was only pretending to be a dummy it was like it was like a cover
oh these that was like a joke after his uh dementia started to set in wasn't it like in the last year or so that is a real thing i i
do believe that he had dementia because what happened was like he had alzheimer's that everyone
agreed on that was it was a real problem like three months after he stopped being president
like all of a sudden he had a fairly severe set of it's like oh right it just started
are you guys ready to watch this probably there for the full oh but wait the audio sucks we keep
putting it in these videos audio is gonna suck well for those of you who want to see it's called
president reagan mastermind snl i'm gonna take so much heat for this video audio being bad for
the second week and i thought i had it fixed before the show i tested it fuck it sucks but yeah uh well clinton's in a lot of trouble it
seems um what do you do um well he gave an interview uh he's putting out a new book and i
believe he was asked something about the me too thing and how it pertained to Monica Lewinsky. As to how he would do in this Me Too era.
Yeah.
Apparently he came off very badly and then
he got a lot of backlash
and then he went on the Colbert
What's Colbert? The Tonight Show?
Late Night with Colbert? Whatever.
Stephen Colbert's
Late Night Show is. I can't remember which one
it is because I don't watch that shit.
But he's like, can you understand why many people thought your response was tone deaf in this Me Too generation?
And just really was holding Clinton to the flames.
And he was like, you know, the things I did 20 years ago, you know, I'm very regretful and I've apologized and I've had to live with what I did.
And he was just trying to explain everything.
And it was like, ah, shit, I'm just trying to sell some fucking books here.
I didn't know you guys are going to nail me to a wall.
Might be working.
The first interview where he got in trouble, I don't know that he said anything so wrong, like he would quote it and read it terribly.
But he came on the counteroffensive.
He's like, you are being biased.
You are asking questions that are – he didn't have – I guess he got – my interpretation of it is he has spent so much time apologizing for the same indiscretion that he's run out of apologies.
Yeah. Look, I understand understand that i get it i don't mean that i relate to it necessarily but i i i can empathize with it it's
like jesus first of all he didn't do anything bad the worst thing he did was lie about it and
cheat on his wife i don't care about that i do i cheat on her too look at that fucking
nasty old i don't think she's into dudes anyway i i don't i think that the buffet was closed
for mr clinton and he had to he had to get some something ordered in one way to open the buffet
is to be a nice loving husband i don't think she's into dudes. I think that he married a lady who doesn't like men.
I think that's the situation there.
And he'd been fucking chicks in proprieties his whole life,
like going back to when he was a governor in Arkansas or whatever.
There was multiple women that kept coming out that said he'd push them up against the bookcase
and grab their titties and kiss them and stuff like that. He didn't do that to Monica Lewinsky. When Linda Tripp
or whoever it was ratted her out, Monica was pissed. She's like, you ratted me out? What
the fuck? I confided in you that I was blowing the leader of the free world. This was between
us. I had to tell somebody. And she's like, you didn't tell him about the dress, did you?
You told him about the dress? Jesus Christ, that was a little quirky anecdote i told you i thought it'd be like an episode of
seinfeld haha the president jizzed on my dress i gotta get this thing the dry cleaners what do
you mean that's destroying evidence in a federal case oh no what have you done to me like it was
the whole thing was bullshit he'd do anything wrong he didn't even fuck her he didn't even
fuck i don't know if i buy that she says he didn't fuck her he says he'd do anything wrong he didn't even fuck her i don't know if i buy that
she says he didn't fuck her he says he didn't fuck her he you know he he pleasured her with
a few of those lovely cubano cigars that he had in his office there she had to say that or she
wouldn't been taking on a nice little helicopter ride you know what i'm saying she you ever see a
intern blow a smoke ring with her pussy it's a beautiful thing you ever see an intern blow a smoke ring with her pussy? It's a beautiful thing.
You ever see an intern soak the tip of the last one of Kennedy's Cubans?
I bet you haven't.
Of course, I was the president.
I can get as many as I want whenever I want.
Yeah, I got no problem with it.
I'm not a big fan of Clinton or anything, but I didn't think he did anything wrong.
I didn't care.
I still don't care.
They should lay off him on that shit.
Now, the women that he supposedly assaulted,
that's what they should be focused on.
People might not let us talk about it
because the most recent person to bring it into the limelight
was Donald Trump.
When he's bringing all the accusers to the debates and shit,
that was gold.
Remember that? That was gold. Remember that?
That was hilarious.
He's like, I'm going to bring all of the women who have accused this man of sexual assault to the debate with his wife.
That's gamesmanship.
That's fucking dirty, low-down gamesmanship.
It's hilarious.
And like anybody who doesn't even care about taxes or the economy or foreign policy,
they're like, holy shit, this is Jerry Springer
on the world's largest stage.
Let's go.
What's going to happen?
It was wonderful.
That was hilarious.
But yeah, I don't care that he cheated on his wife.
I don't like it if he's sexually assaulting ladies or using his position of power to coerce them into something that they don't want to do
yeah yeah i i care about both of those things it's it says something about the moral character
and and the president is the a moral leader in some ways too too. Heck, I'll say this.
With Trump saying there's bad guys on both sides and such,
I feel like he's made racism more okay in a little bit.
There was a national conversation about whether a blowjob was cheating
because Clinton said it wasn't.
If you guys don't remember that.
No, he said it wasn't sex.
Yeah.
If you guys don't remember that.
No, he said it wasn't sex.
Yeah.
I want to say he said we can't have sex because that would be cheating.
But a blowjob, you know, kiss on the cheek, blowjob.
Like you do this with other people.
Yeah, the argument was that a blowjob wasn't sex. But the quote't he would only do a blowjob because elsewise it
would be cheating that's what he told monica lewinsky maybe that was the rules he had with
with hillary i so but i remember on the news and such because i was a young adult at the time i
was like 20 something and then um it was like is a blowjob cheating? And everyone is like, gosh.
I mean, I always thought it was, but I guess we need to reexamine this.
And upon reexamination, yes, putting someone's penis in your mouth is cheating.
Yeah, yeah.
But, you know, and I felt like Clinton did something to lower the country's morality, you know, when he did that.
That Kennedy never did.
Well, he didn't say that.
Kennedy banging starlets and lying to the American public, basically starting the Cuban Missile Crisis and then inflaming it and then lying about how he solved it.
And Ted Kennedy absolutely didn't let a woman die in the trunk of his car and forget about it conveniently for a couple days.
Wait, is the trunk part true?
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Is this the Chippaquick thing?
Am I mixing it up?
I thought she was in the passenger seat.
Yeah.
You're right.
She was in the passenger seat.
Chippaquack?
Right.
It's a tough one.
That sounds pretty good.
Chippaquick drowned a woman in my car.
Yeah. right it's a tough one that sounds pretty good ground a woman in my car yeah if i if i remember
right he was drunk driving he drove off a bridge maybe into a lake for for sure and uh he was able
to get himself free and he sort of just let that situation settle for a bit so So now the alcohol's out of his system.
Now
he's not drunk anymore.
Look, that was two
days ago. Who's to say?
And don't forget about John Kennedy's dad
working with the mob
as well as lobotomizing one of
his children.
At the time, I
don't judge lobotomies as harsh because they thought that it
was helping they had no idea the actual impact of it like they that's like looking forward from 50
years where you're a danger to yourself and everyone around you and you might swallow your
tongue and die and like i believe she was masturbating oh that's just hot no i think it
was more but it's like 50 years from now, they might look back and be like,
he put his children on Adderall.
Do you know all that?
Yeah, at the time, though.
He put their kid on hormone treatment when he was seven?
Yeah, here he is parading around a rally.
He was cheering.
Yeah, I don't know.
I forget how we.
Oh, we were on the Me Too era yeah he just was it was like
he ran out of apologies and started going on the offensive and the whole world saw it and said nope
you need to be apologetic on this until the day you die you need to be sorry you need to you know
don't don't go clapping back at people asking you it's just you'll never get past it yeah she was uh she had special needs uh and she
was i guess kept as a family secret and then lobotomized her which made her uber retarded
basically because then she like had limited motor skills and could barely speak it sucks
now let's look up the lobotomized kennedy Yeah. Howard Stern has a hilarious bit
about Rosemary Kennedy
being lobotomized, if you ever want to hear it.
He does a nice impression of
Daddy Kennedy, and he's like,
she was masturbating at the table
era, and so we drilled
a hole in her head.
It goes on
for 30 minutes of him
doing a Kennedy impression and talking about lobotomizing his daughter for masturbating at the dinner table or something like that.
It's when Stern was a very mean man.
Is it Stern doing the...
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
He does a very good Kennedy impression.
I thought for sure.
I wonder if people were feeding him lines the whole time.
Perhaps.
Perhaps. Perhaps.
But he's flowing with it.
When he does flow with stuff, he can just be really nasty.
And maybe they fill in every third joke or something like that.
So who knows?
It's probably a wrap, though, right?
PKA, episode 390.
Be sure to check out our sponsors and lack of guests in the description.
All good things.
And stay away from Taylor's Twitter.
Yeah.
Nothing but ruffians over there.