Painkiller Already - Painkiller Already #396
Episode Date: July 27, 2018On this week's PKA, guest this week is everyone's favorite cookie eating YouTuber... Kwebbelkop! And he spits knowledge on the guys with what's happening with the YouTube Celebrity Boxing match comin...g up between KSI & DEJI versus Logan Paul & Jake Paul, then they discuss the recent drama involving Fouseytube and Keemstar and last but certainly not least, Taylor educates the guys on some disgusting, terrible, "Nullification" body modifications actual humans are doing to themselves, so enjoy that.
Transcript
Discussion (0)
All right, we're live. PKA episode 396 with our guest Queb. Kyle?
Couple sponsors tonight. 4Hems, Stitch Fix, Movement Watches, and Smart Mouth.
We'll get to those guys later on, of course. But yeah, we got our old friend, Quebble Cop, with us.
What's up?
I understand that you have a little bit of inside information, or perhaps you could give us some details on this upcoming
youtube boxing match now i wasn't interested in it at all until six minutes ago i'm going to say
when when i was yeah when taylor and i found out just how much money some of these um fighters are
getting uh for not for winning not for uh like winning a belt or a championship or however
they're doing things not for uh like a flat fee but like how much they're making per slot on their
fighting shorts have you or sponsors can you share what you've heard no oh but it is it would
be life-changing money can you type it on the side i'm yeah i could do that um but it would
be life-changing money for for all of us I don't know how many sponsors
go on a pair of shorts but
it would be ridiculous
so what do you know about this thing?
what?
that's a lot of money by the way
yeah
that's a whole lot of money
yeah right
and this is for the main
this is for one of the? No, no, no.
This is for one of the tiniest fighters you can imagine who's on this thing.
A very, very small YouTuber.
Taylor has more of a following for sure, and he doesn't have a YouTube channel.
Okay, I got to hit up Ryan.
Oh, I could have got in on this.
If it was like, hey, we're going to pay you this amount of money for the stuff on your shorts,
and you have eight months until the fight, today, not even tomorrow, today, I cut everything bad out of my life.
Not even casual social drinking.
No girls.
Nothing at all.
I'll quit using this thing even.
Keep women out of the way.
Just quiet.
I got things to do.
I'm going to start running.
You know how much?
This is an idea, listeners, to how much money to do. I'm going to start running. You know how much, this is an idea, listeners,
to how much money this is.
I'm willing to start running daily.
Taylor, you're not getting extra money.
Dude, I have a feeling that
the sponsor money is life-changing.
It's huge.
But the win bonus is a cup of coffee.
Like, I don't know that you need to win this thing.
No.
Oh, well, I mean, but, like, I guarantee this isn't going that you need to win this thing. No.
I guarantee this isn't going to be a one-time thing if it's a roaring success.
If I go out there and make a fool of myself
and they're like, alright, this idiot
was gassed after the first round.
He didn't bring enough value. Next time
we do this, let's not put him on the list.
Whereas, even though I'm a fucking nobody,
if I go out there and I
actually perform and they're like okay nobody
knows who this guy is but at least he put the effort in and he came out with an owl mask on
yeah i would come out like a luchador like whatever like i could do a luchador mask nobody
cares what i look like anyway i'm not famous just throw that on there give me a little personality
i would work my ass off and i i'd be willing to fight kyle Guys, I got one for you. Okay.
So my agent, OP Talent, they are some of the main guys organizing this whole event.
Okay.
And I just hit him up and I said, hey, listen, some people are saying they're making this much money per sponsor.
Right. And this guy's he's organizing
everything right i'm going to the fight like he he has like front row for for everybody who's
signed with him um and he says he says it's not true oh he said that number is not true
oh it's more exciting for me to believe it though so yeah like i don't know what i'm just hey i'm just checking to make sure
you know he said it was like but he says oh uh one second i'm i'm like fact checking it with him
right now um but he says he said yeah yeah sorry guys sorry sorry but i i saw that number i was not
expecting it and that's all so you expect us it. And that's a lot of money.
So you expect us to believe the word of the organizer of this event over Dr. Chiz?
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
I mean, he's a doctor, for Christ's sakes.
Let's forget about it.
So, yeah, like a million dollars.
Oh, no.
I'm joking.
I'm joking.
I mean, how would he know, though?
Like, I understand he's organizing the event,
but if the fighters are selling their own advertising,
then he really wouldn't have that information, would he?
Well, pretty much, he said,
okay, literally the entire event,
all the things around it, right?
Doesn't even get close to that number.
Hmm.
So I think...
You wouldn't let the individuals sell their own spots.
You'd want to aggregate that so you have more consistency.
Right, right.
Oh, no.
You want it like the old UFC days.
Yeah, when one guy's like,
yeah, give me a...
What's an outrageous number?
$600.
And the advertiser's like, well, I don't know. I can do 450. And they're
like, oh, yeah, I got something. Whereas, like, I would have done 12 grand. It was pretty legit
money. So for those who don't know, in the UFC, now they have a deal with Reebok. So all of the
fighters have to wear Reebok. And depending on how big of a name that fighter is, they get paid
a different sort of flat amount from Reebok annually.
And I know in Joe's case,
I certainly wouldn't mention any specifics,
but it sort of evened out.
He made less from the Reebok deal,
but then again,
now he doesn't have to pay someone to run down and hunt for ads.
And in Joe's case,
and this number is public,
it's not a secret.
Okay.
The Reebok side of the deal,
I think was 40 grand.
And that's all the sponsors combined. So he did a little better than that on his own but his manager would take like 25 cut it was
something like that for the shorts money um so it works out yeah virtually the same for him so he's
just like I think I I don't think Joe would mind me saying this I think he said that it it was a
mild pickup but it was a he and Jen he liked it overall because it was a lot less work.
And Reebok always pays on time, and they always pay what they say they're going to pay.
Whereas if you work with some jackass that no one's heard of, you get paid late, you don't get paid, you have to chase them, etc.
So regarding the – back to the youtube sponsor can i can i
get this out real quick knowing that the ufc numbers are like you know 40 grand for every
slot combined the number that jizz is telling us is outrageous this is going to be bigger than a
ufc fight this is going to be bigger than a ufc pay-per- Okay, but as a YouTuber, I can say that gets a lot of randals. I can say that a lot of people get underpaid, right? But then again, some
people also get overpaid, right? So there's a possibility that this guy, he
ran into like, I don't know, maybe like a casino and then he's bragging about this
is gonna get a hundred million views and he somehow managed to talk them into it, right?
And he hasn't told the organization
and he's just going to run on stage with those shorts on.
I don't know.
It is possible.
I've heard crazier stories.
But then again, if we're looking at the facts right now,
it sounds like BS.
Chiz, this is not private.
Chiz says the projections are it will be the biggest boxing event of all time?
Bigger than Conor McGregor?
Not as much money is on the line because they're not buying that many pay-per-views.
And also the quality of audience.
It's a much younger audience, less disposable income.
Advertisers aren't going to be willing to pay as premium a dollar as they would for like an over 55 viewer.
I got some more juicy info.
It's not a free stream.
Oh, okay.
Which I think –
Just regard what I said.
This is public, by the way.
I'm not breaking this.
But it – which is, in my opinion, stupid.
uh but it which is in my opinion is stupid uh yes you can make what i believe it's ten dollars for per viewer but you would get so much more money in the long term long run if you make this event
public so everybody can see it right uh but hey feel free to correct me once the event happens
maybe they'll get a hundred thousand people watching watching it concurrent who are paying for it.
And that's a good amount of money.
I think this event will be bigger than Dr. Disrespect returning, for example.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, no, for sure.
I think you're really underestimating how big this is.
Is it public?
Who's involved in it yet?
Can you list some of the names, like the big guys?
Who's involved in what?
The boxing.
The fighters. Oh, yeah. list some of the names like the big guys who's who's involved in what the boxing of the actual
the fighters fighters oh yeah so so all the fighters are like you you can just google it
and figure it out but the main two fights are at ksi versus logan paul and then you have digi
versus jake paul right so you got brothers uh versus brothers much. I saw KSI training with Michael Bisping just a little bit.
Oh, KSI is a beast.
He went from being pretty big and not necessarily fat, but he had muscle.
He had a bit of fat, right?
Nothing really out of shape, but he was okay, right?
He was a fit gamer.
Right? Yeah, he was a fit gamer to now he's ripped.
I don't know, like, I've seen him in person and he is terrifying now, right?
Have you ever seen Logan in person?
Yes, twice.
Logan's so big.
I got a fun story.
Is Logan big?
Is Logan Paul the one with short hair or the long hair?
There's a part in that silly movie I did with him where I'm choking him.
My hands barely go around the man's neck.
It's so goddamn thick.
He is just ripped.
His arms are enormous.
Really?
I'm looking at KSI here, and he's definitely very big.
I don't know.
KSI is ripped.
very big. I don't know.
KSI is ripped.
You can also, if you look at this,
you can see where their navels are lining up, that KSI
is quite a bit shorter. Oh, that's just bad
probably bad. You don't think that
they're just... They're not literally standing
in front of each other. It's much shorter.
What are you seeing, Taylor, that makes you say that?
On this placard.
But they're just photoshopped together, you know.
Of course, they weren't standing in the same room. But I feel like Taylor is saying that. The aspect ratio could be off, but they're just photoshopped together. Of course they weren't standing in the same room.
But I feel like Taylor is saying that.
The aspect ratio could be off, but they're going to
make it so both their heads are the same size
and they're looking at each other.
Sometimes you can tell.
When they put Jon Jones and Daniel Cormier
together, people don't know. I think
Jon Jones could rest his chin on the guy's head.
So Daniel Cormier looks huge! looks super wide he's wide but it
he almost you can just tell that they scaled one guy to make them the same height i think that's
what taylor is saying about this yeah yeah you explain that better are you if you were to fight
queb yeah who who would you want to fight in the YouTube community? Who would you feel comfortable enough
that it'd be a good fight for the viewers,
but also you're like, I could take this home.
Jenna Marbles.
I've actually, yeah, yeah, yeah.
You destroyer!
I've thought about it, right?
Because obviously I'm one phone call away of getting a fight.
Yeah, you should do it, dude.
I'll tune in for you.
Then again, I don't have any beef with anybody, right?
I would fight KSI, sure, but as a friendly thing. like, I don't have any beef with anybody, right?
You know, I would fight KSI sure, but as a friendly thing.
I don't want to go on the press conference and talk
smack about him. You know what I mean?
This one's shit?
I'm just starting beef.
Just trying to get in on the fight.
This is the road, bro. Oh, perfect!
Yeah, yeah, Queb, fuck you!
You'll never take me in the ring.
You guys just want to make the money.
But, so, you know, I don't have any beef with anybody.
I don't want to, you know, create beef, start beef.
That's not really my thing.
Second of all, I have way too much shit going on in my life,
which we'll get to in a bit.
You can't make time for this. I hope that I in a bit. You can't make time for this.
I hope that I'm so successful someday I can't make time for this.
Yeah, no, like, and pretty much I sat down and I did the math based on the numbers I had.
And it's like it's not worth it for me, right?
Like I'm in a good place right now.
I don't need the uh the
boost for my numbers for for a little bit right you know i don't need the short-term as sponsors
i'm i'm thinking more long-term and i don't really uh need need to fight but if i if i was gonna fight
somebody definitely woody all right yeah you know what you you would do way better than you're giving yourself credit, I think,
because the limiting factor for a lot of these guys is going to be cardio.
They're going to get two rounds in, and they're going to be gassed,
whereas you, avid runner, you're going to be running circles around them,
you know, just to learn some punches.
If I don't beat Quib in the first five minutes, I won't beat Quib.
That might be how it goes down.
That's my tactic. Oh, a takedown from Mr. that's my tactic i don't know if that's allowed jim oh vicious elbows i think he was concussed in that last
round he doesn't know where he is he's got 30 pounds and 30 years on his opponent
another thing is i'm i'm a bigger uh a brazilian jiu-jitsu fan right like i'm not really a fan of
boxing uh so i mean i would we would have to take this to that what'd you call octagon
yeah right the terms yeah for this kind of money fuck it i'll lose if you want like whatever
like in that one video, you know?
Yeah,
right,
right. All right,
look Woody,
it'll come down to the wire.
Of course,
I'll be victorious.
I'll give you $1,000 of the money to lose to me,
and I'll take the other four.
Deal?
400.
Were those the actual terms?
I have three and two in my head.
I'm not sure.
I'm pretty sure what I said was it.
Okay,
I'm not sure.
I get the money, and the win. in my head. I'm pretty sure what I said was it. I want to say five grand and he just wanted four
and to give... I get the money
and the win.
But you get a little money and you know,
people are expecting me to win.
That was the... Ah, wings.
You know, I'm trying to think
of popular YouTubers that Queb
would be good against. He's not as
popular as Queb. I haven't checked it forever.
I don't think so. Tmart seems to be about..., or I haven't checked it forever. I don't think so. T-Mart
seems to be about... T-Mart is so big.
T-Mart's huge. Yeah, wait, I don't think...
I'll tell you. I'm 6'1".
Oh, that's taller than I thought.
T-Mart's like 6'4", or 5'.
T-Mart's like
6'3", I want to guess. Maybe 6'4".
And he's strong.
He was like 15 when he was 6'3".
He could come. He may have grown since the last time I've seen him,
but I feel like Queb needs someone who's more slight, right?
Like maybe a shroud.
Queb, are you still lifting all the time?
Yeah, yeah.
Queb might be stronger than we're giving him credit for.
Actually, currently I got lower back issues,
but I think not the lower back issues, you know?
The ones the athletes always claim that they have lower back issues when they don't really
Did you hear that from me?
Or did you?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Okay, yeah.
So it's like lower back.
How'd you heard it?
I'm sorry to take us off boxing, but I really want to know.
Did you hear it lifting?
I think so, yeah.
So actually, I'll say it in kilos, and you guys just put a percentage over it.
But I used to weigh 63 kilos.
And then at my most, I think like a month ago, I weighed 80.
And I gained it in like a year and a half.
So I gained. so we went from
138 to 176 in freedom units yeah so a lot of gain that's it that was a lot of gain so so i um i was
i was ripped right uh when two years ago when i met my girlfriend that was in like the best shape
ever i was i ran half a marathon i I had a six pack. I was looking
all good. And then I started dating my girlfriend and then my dad passed away. And then pretty much
everything went down, uh, lost a lot of weight, uh, stopped training. And, um, I was so, so skinny
that I was like, okay, you know what? I I should really really really get this fixed as soon as possible
As I mean my girlfriend both started hitting the gym and then I went from 63 to 80 in a year and a half
Then I got my lower back issues and I think it was like like dead lifting wrong
You know some doing that too long on top of that
Straight up like my like I would gain so much upper body weight it's a lot of
pressure i'm sitting behind my desk all the time um so how long have you been hurt uh i think for
like two and a half three months now have you been to a doctor yet uh no no haven't um come on bro
yeah so i swear if if your mouth sucked you drop a grand on it without thinking but you can't
get yourself to the doctor and it's your lower back okay okay so so i i i got it i got an
explanation here um pretty much i how it started was at night i would get it would feel as if my
legs were like doing this all night and i was like what the hell is this right so at first I thought it was my legs
um and then you know went to the doctor for that and he said well you know it's a restless leg
syndrome you can't really do anything about it you need to stretch some more blah blah blah blah
so I started doing stretches and this and that and then um I think like two weeks ago maybe three weeks ago it was like well
maybe it's my maybe it's my back right because that can cause a lot of issues
for your legs sure and so pretty much we have it on the list go to the doctor but
only only recently like discovered it but then I thought about it and I was
like oh I've had it for like two three months now you know what i mean i do but i still feel like you're not prioritizing you
i should i should prioritize myself you need to treat yourself i'm too yeah i know i need to treat
myself more uh but yeah like i'm but i'm i'm still in great shape uh went to the gym yesterday
i'm going to the gym after the podcast.
It's going to be fun.
I haven't ran half a marathon.
Where are you in the world?
Currently in Toronto.
Canada.
It's going to be a late night trip.
Not as late as I thought it was going to be.
It'll be 11pm, which will be fine.
I'm in good shape. If I be fighting i would uh i have to drop
everything and i would dedicate yeah the like every every day to training i would get a nutritionist
the cook like personal trainer who comes and picks me up every day to go to the gym and stuff
uh like i i i would do that but i think i think honestly like if it were that
money that that we were talking about before um i think i would i would go up to massachusetts with
uh with joe lozon and go to his gym every day and i think because i would really like to work
with someone i know and and someone who i know isn't trying to like just collect their check
and be like yeah yeah go over there and hit the bag.
Like he would totally get it.
I'd be like,
Joe,
I have a chance here to make X amount of money.
I have no idea what I'm doing,
but this is the guy I got to fight in eight months.
Let's do this.
You know,
I'll put whatever it costs.
Let's,
let's just make it happen.
But,
but like make me a fighter.
It'd be a good choice.
One problem with Joe's gym for me,
there's so many good athletes there. choice. One problem with Joe's gym for me,
there's so many good athletes there.
If you go to Joe's gym,
I went to Joe's gym a few years ago, right?
And we were all laying against the wall.
We were sitting down with our butts on the floor back against the wall.
And I looked left and I looked right
and there were like 18 people there.
And I was the second worst athlete.
Oh, that's got it.
You were so thankful for that worst guy's presence.
Weren't you?
He was better than me.
Yeah,
no,
he was better than me.
I don't know if I might've been like the fourth worst guy on the wall.
Like,
you know,
cause I was meeting people who are better athletes than me barely.
But,
um,
but yeah,
you just look up and down at like the physiques and what you have to work
with,
how old people are and you know,
just like your starting point or what it would have been.
And I'm just like, man, out of these 18 people,
16 of them are better?
And then me and then that guy.
Who's better?
See, I don't want to walk into that kind of gym.
I'm not trying to walk into a salty spittoon kind of gym.
I want more like the Weenie Hut Juniors,
where nobody else watches Spongebob. This isn't working for me people out there people out there fucking get it like where you walk in i
want to be the big fish in the small pond for a bit work up feel better feel better and then you
go get your ass kicked but you've got the confidence to know it's possible yeah i don't
want to walk into joe lozon's gym first thing and be like oh man kyle this is going to be a blast
and then joe's like all right come over. I'm going to punch you in the nose.
Again.
The first thing you need to learn is this.
Bam.
That hurts real bad, doesn't it? I see you crying.
You cannot cry in the ring.
That's a no-no.
Don't blow your nose.
Swallow.
So I got some more stuff about the K-Side Logan Paul fight.
So I was there when they they had their uh america
press conference right so they they pretty much the idea is you know they have one in america
one in the uk and you know logan paul's from america case eyes from the uk right uh so i was
there and it was just like a bunch of kids um you know who dragged their parents like come we're
gonna go to the free press conference okay and all and and and you know the press conference
was funny whatever you can look at the highlight videos um and the kids were chanting like walmart
like you know what's that mean like as in like his clothes are from walmart which is like a
you know like a roast because they're cheap.
Yeah, because he can't rock Hollister.
So actually, anyways, so pretty much today the press conference was in the UK, and I
literally just finished watching it before jumping on the call with you guys.
So they were roasting KSI, I guess, in America?
Well, you know, the audience was roasting ksi right because it was in
america right yeah okay so now they went to the uk and uh logan or jake paul walks on stage
and he's just getting booed by like 800 people right everybody is booing him throwing shit at
him right is he shriveling or like working it like was he loving
the attention and thriving or was he like i wish i wasn't here it gets better he's he's there and
he's like oh yeah fuck fuck me fuck me right there yeah guys come on tell me fuck me and um meanwhile
yeah we should watch the clip but meanwhile he's being roasted by Deji, his opponent.
And he got some pretty good lines in there.
And then I believe he pretty much almost walked off stage. He was being booed into oblivion.
It was horrible.
It's only 30 seconds.
There's better videos.
It's actually the um the the main stream
is being uploaded right now as far as i know uh so that i mean we can wait for that maybe
or or we just watch one of these we could watch phone videos so this just happened
super there this is from july just happened this happened today this happened today and then logan
paul got booed offstage, like straight up.
Like he just walked off.
He was, I believe he was in tears.
He was almost crying.
When you see the two next to each other, whose physique do you think wins the fight?
Oh, KSI.
KSI, it's that clear.
I think KSI.
I saw both of them next to each other in Los Angeles.
Logan Paul, he looks terrified.
He walks in, 800 people booing him.
He's fighting in Manchester, which is in the UK.
KSI's home turf.
He's comfortable, right?
KSI's comfortable.
He's done this before.
He has the fans, right?
KSI's done this before?
KSI's fought Joe Weller before, which was a previous YouTuber. he's done this before neither he has the fans right case i've done this before case i's
fought joe weller before which was a previous youtuber he almost fucking knocked out so he
yeah so i think logan paul he's he might be in good shape but the moment he walks on there he's
gonna be shaking yeah i'm gonna be standing there next to the ring i'm gonna be booing him right oh he's
sharing ksi along on and and like this guy is gonna have a thousand people more than a thousand
people booing at him well i'm going to be at home not watching thinking good thoughts about logan
paul so oh no let's go america i think it doesn't matter how good of a fighter he is under that pressure.
He's he's most likely going to lose.
He's going to slip up.
He's going to make mistakes.
He's going to forget his training.
Right.
He is.
He's coming from L.A.
flying nine hours.
Right.
Eight hour time difference to go to the UK to then fight somebody in a country he hasn't
been in much with fans that aren't supporting him for the first time.
He knows what's at stake.
If he loses, it's over for him.
No, this is for these guys.
You think their embarrassment will hurt their careers?
You think they're rolling the dice on their careers?
Not at all.
Oh, what's at stake then?
But it's a mental game.
It's a mind game here.
Why are they...
No, these people don't like each other.
That's the genesis of this, right?
Yeah.
Why don't they like each other?
I think that the Paul brothers are very hated among a lot of people.
Sure.
They've made mistakes.
You know, Logan Paul has filmed a dead guy.
I mean, who among us hasn't filmed one dead guy
the response is going to be way funnier
if the Pauls win because I don't know
who these other guys are but I don't imagine
that if they win there's going to be a ton of people
outraged by it but I know
just from having a Twitter
that people will be pissed
and react in a funny way
if these guys win
Logan and Jake let's watch this clip.
I want to see him get food off stage.
Yeah, the quality's not all that important.
It's fine. I like
the description here of who's KSI
and then
Cheers just goes, KSI has been on
PKA. Black guy who used
to do FIFA gaming videos.
Yeah. I already figured out he's
black.
Look, in a few seconds,
KSI was on a special PKA.
I think it might have been like episode 100 or something.
So we tried to do like an eight hour one,
but it got DDoSed into oblivion.
And KSI was actually pretty cool about it.
Like he stuck around for a long time
on a show that was failing really, you know, because it was just getting DDoSed like crazy.
So I actually had really positive thoughts about him because it's a nice guy who puts up with all the shit that we were taking.
And then he was really mean to me on Twitter.
Like, I don't know, three months later, because he hated Wings, I didn't do anything.
But I guess he figured that I endorsed Wings' disses towards him. And that and uh that's i guess where we stand now he probably doesn't think about me very much
good old you know the real loser in all this is wings of redemption of course if we can come
full circle because he gave up just absolutely life-changing money for himself like even if
that number that we're coming up with is false if it it's a third of that number, if it's a tenth of that number,
it's still more money than he could shake a stick at.
He would, you want your Raptor?
Oh, you know how to Raptor on each leg, baby.
Like, you're good to go.
Good to go.
Anyways, before we watch this clip,
I still want to finish what I was saying.
This is not career ending at all, right?
For nobody.
But it's the mind games.
Because if they lose this fight, they're going to be confronted with this, right?
You're going to have a clip of yourself on repeat getting knocked out in the ring.
You know, your face slamming the ground.
You laying there unconscious.
And you're going to be reminded of this moment for the rest of your life.
Who cares?
Right?
Who cares?
As long as you don't embarrass yourself.
Now, if you go out there and you – first of all, your physique is lacking, right?
If you look chunky.
If you got like love handles and the other guy is Logan Paul, that's embarrassing.
If you go out there and your footwork is terrible, like you're tripping over yourself, you're tripping over him, you're clearly not moving, your head's just in one spot and you look afraid, that's embarrassing.
However, if you put up a decent fight, you hit him a couple times and he just bests you, I wouldn't mind that a bit.
He's better than me.
He's a better boxer than me.
He'd whip my ass.
I'm with you, Kyle, but I'm pretty sure they're going to look like bad
fighters like i feel like i could spend the next 12 months learning like striking or something like
you're trying to enhance there but people who've only seen ufc and and pro boxing level striking
will look at anything i achieve and say this guy is ridiculously slow you know but your frame of
reference is mayweather or rogers jones Of course I'm slow. I'm an old
white guy. None of these are going to
be even the lowest of
low-level UFC fights, but I think
that's kind of the appeal to a lot of people.
It's like, oh, we're taking people kind of out of the...
Well, I guess this KSI guy isn't out of his element
if he's done this before, but at least taking the other three
out of their element and forcing them into this.
Or do they all have fighting experience?
Nope. Nope.
They're going to look very bad.
Because you're used to looking at people who
are very good.
I really want to see it. We've been teasing
it for minutes. And then after that, maybe we watch
a little bit of the Joe Weller KSI fight.
Because I'm watching it right
now. I just turned it on.
They don't look pathetic or anything. It's a fight.
I might be corrected. Let's watch this.
3, 2, 1,
play.
Got a blonde wig on.
Wow.
They are
booing the shit out of him.
He just walked out
He dropped the mic
He talked some trash
Yeah dropped the mic
And KSI is playing it brilliantly
He's acting like he just won something
Yeah
I couldn't make out anybody's words
Other than where are you going bro
Can you link that other fight
Oh you already got it.
Yeah, so this is the first KSI fight.
Is Joe Weller a fighter or just a YouTube guy?
He's a gym.
He's an athlete, but he's not a fighter.
None of them work.
None of them work.
I think Chiz's video is the one to go with.
The second video there from 730.
Well, it's the second video.
It starts at 26 seconds.
Yeah, it starts at 26 seconds i believe yeah huh that's gonna be the i'm just watching now and i agree actually i thought just in the few seconds i saw they both move like fighters yeah and they
didn't move like are we watching now um we're gonna watch it together starting in 26 seconds. It's my bad. I need to start over then.
All right. Ready?
So quick background information.
Both Joe Ehler and KSI, great YouTubers.
They used to be good friends.
And then Joe Ehler was just being an asshole to KSI.
And pretty much they said, you know what?
Why don't we fight, right?
And I believe it
started off as a joke and then it became a boxing match with press conferences before that. And then
here's the fight. None of them had any experience in boxing. Uh, they all started at the same time
training and stuff. And it was, it was a very fair fight. Obviously, Jesus, we could have done this.
We could have started it all. You totally could have done that and, like, you'd have made a lot of money.
Yeah, back in the day.
Yeah, I was a draw.
All right, are we ready?
Yeah.
Ready, set, play.
Oh, music.
If there's music, it's a mute.
Yeah.
Yeah, I'm certainly not.
It's clearly not a pro match right now.
No.
A lot of tit for tat.
It's not, but those are not light punches that they're throwing, right?
Oh, and they're wearing headgear.
I just made that connection.
It's also not like the pros' fights are so tactical and pointed.
These are a lot of haymakers.
Yeah, it's more of a fight than anything.
They're really going at it.
I see him
you know he's got his hands up he's he's defending himself the whole time weller that is um they
don't look like completely untrained street fighters you know what i mean like one guy just
threw a guy down in the box as you said that did happen yeah this is the kind of fight that even
if you lose like you wouldn't walk away like a pussy. You're trading back and forth.
Yeah, yeah.
I'm watching this, and I think, first of all, I know that KSI wins.
And I feel like he's getting the best of this.
But I don't think any less of Joe Weller.
He's standing there with a bloody nose, and he's like, yeah, let's go again.
Come on.
He's like, you good?
He's like, oh, yeah, come on.
He put up a good fight.
He put up a good fight.
He lost, but still, you know, he still has his respect.
He's taking some
ref stops it.
A ref stoppage. I didn't like that.
They're going to have ref stoppages
be pretty liberal because it's like, hey, at the end of the day
remember these guys walk around with GoPros.
The lower the level of fighting,
the quicker the refs tend to jump in.
You might not have known that.
I didn't know that. I don't care for that.
Okay.
Unless you get all the way down to felon fights,
then it's like horseshoe theory.
Please!
Is there even a ref here?
Get him off of me!
So yeah,
what you don't see...
By the way,
a friend of mine owns this uh owns this youtube channel
um anyways or might might i don't know whatever or get the fuck um so so pretty much what you
don't see after the fight is uh this was right around the whole controversy between the paul
brothers case i says i chat like I'm challenging Jake Paul
Logan Paul I don't care whoever any of the polls come and fight me right and
then there was this whole drama right after where the dad was like well I'm a
pole let's fight you know and everybody's like get out of here like
the dad is kissed like some some girls on video is like that's creepy yeah dirty creepy
old guy um and and and then pretty much like it took ages and eventually um they they managed to
sort out the fight and then k-size brother came in there too so that's it that's that that's
the history of the fights now Now you guys are experts.
Is it too late for Wings to jump into the mix
and take up Team Star on that initial offer?
Way too late.
No, it's not.
No, he'd be like, not like main event,
but like a lower level fight.
Oh, of course, he would be main event.
He might be the fourth biggest fight on a card
like what we're about to watch, though,
just because of who he is and how much weed hype it up
and how much, like, look.
He'd be fighting Team Star himself. I mean, that's himself you mean you exactly star is a huge pull on his own
wings is a bigger pull than you think here's the thing about wings like wings youtube channel might
get 10 000 views his streams might have 300 people in them but everybody knows wings of redemption
everybody knows who he is they don't they may not know his whole history and past and
the intricacies but if you're like remember wings of redemption the overweight cods cod player who
like was just hateful and obnoxious all the time and said crazy shit and he's kind of a southern
guy everybody knows that guy everybody knows that mediker video is like has surged past all his other recent videos. It's half a million
views on that now.
Because Wings is a pull. He's a draw.
So, Queb, really, there's no way
to get in as the fifth fight.
No, no, no. There's going to be another one.
There's going to be another one. This is money being made over here.
Wings of Redemption. You, me, grappling match.
You can start with a rear naked choke. Let's go.
Would you box Wings box wings of redemption would
woodrow me if you were asked let's just i'm just gonna make up a silly number let's say you were
paid twenty five thousand dollars and all of your expenses are paid and i feel like that's that's a
really low number just run run circles around and you'll get tired. I'm not saying this because I want to inflict pain on wings or anything.
Of course not.
But the answer is yes, I do it.
And I have enough confidence that I think it's unfair.
Yes.
Ditto.
Ditto.
I would do it.
And I don't think it would be a fair fight to fight wings.
I'm just being silly because you mentioned that grappling thing.
That's always funny.
But I'd fight Taylor or anybody. I wouldn't care who it's like like i'll take an
ass beating you know right i might uh is she's gonna come back i'll administer one he got bored
he just left yeah i'm sure his internet got out or something i have to fix the screen maybe
yeah i i would love to see wings get in on this like especially if, as Kyle said, even if it's a tenth of the money that we were suspecting,
that's still a lot.
That is quite a bit.
And Wings is already halfway through the battle there.
Now he's already losing the weight.
Now he's just going to add in a fitness regimen.
I want to say Wings was 418 pounds
as of seven or perhaps 10 days ago.
So he could very easily be right at 400 right now.
He's really dropping the weight.
It's a good for him.
Yeah, it's very good for him.
Happy for him.
Yeah.
How's Boogie doing?
We haven't had him on in a long time.
Is he still losing weight,
drafting really, really fast?
I think he plateaued for a little while,
but he really has no choice.
He's continuing to lose weight.
It seems to me.
He's had little hurdles along the way, but
it seems like he's continuing to lose weight. Yeah, I saw on his
Twitter that he hurt himself. I don't remember what it was.
Maybe his leg? He broke his arm.
His arm. Yeah, he broke his arm. Apparently
the liquid
diet that he's on, or the
low-cal diet he's on, weakens his
bones. That combined with the fact that even at his lower weight, he's still or the low-cal diet he's on weakens his bones. That combined with the fact
that even at his lower weight, he's still
a big guy.
That couldn't
take it. He fell, broke an arm.
I don't know anything about bones, but perhaps
being as big as he was over the years
made little micro
fractures or something. Maybe his bones had been
through a hard time.
I also know very little about bones,
but I would have guessed they go the other way.
I would have guessed he had like a...
I would have guessed he had
like a dino skeleton under there, right?
To support the
old structure. It's like a normal
femur, just pressed.
So it's like earthier.
Just like, you know, some moose
skeleton in there. I guess i need to fix this layout if wink
this is um she's gonna stay away so yeah i'm fascinated by this youtube fight thing uh i
wasn't before because i thought it was just sort of a spectacle for people who just wanted a little
promotion but knowing i'd like to know more about the money involved and exactly how much money
could be made because again if it's a tenth of what that fighter told us um that he claimed he was getting then it's uh it's it's it's it's a go
right like like if you'd ask me how much i think they've made i would say a couple of hundred
thousand the main fighters right and and lower look like not close to a million. I would say
They might make two hundred to three hundred K each and it's just a complete guess right?
like I don't have any any numbers I'm basing that off but
Thinking like what what is worth their time? First of all, right?
These guys keep in mind like like, KSI does music.
He's in movies.
He does this, he does that.
So does Logan Paul, right?
They have very successful YouTube channels.
For them to drop everything like that,
they would need a lot of money next to that.
And I would say $200,000 to $300,000.
Yeah, it's crazy.
Honestly, my guess would be higher uh but but again we're just
guessing we're just guessing i'd love to know more uh information about it but yeah for a few
hundred thousand dollars i would definitely drop everything and go i i think i would literally go
up to massachusetts and and like get a get a uh like a like a house rental there like as close
to that gym as i could get and I'd get an Airbnb with you for
seven months or however long it was
and we would train every
day as hard as possible. I like that you guys are training together
to fight each other.
It'd be all choreographed.
We'd get in there and it'd look like
the greatest fight of all time.
It'd be all WWE.
And we'd get in fights
about it like, you already got to do a cool dodge though
He has a week to practice. We have eight months to choreograph this it looked like a matrix Jackie
I was I was actually talking to my buddy. So I record with two of my really close friends
And I was saying well, you know
We were we were there with that with our agent who organized the whole
thing right or part of it
and I said well why
don't we go up as an undercard
and we do like a three way boxing
match but it turns into
like some WWE shit
where somebody throws in a chair you know
I mean it could be pretty fun
I'd love to get the chair involved
yeah yeah yeah uh hey maybe maybe the next boxing match who knows maybe they get some of those
fluorescent light bulb tubes yes smash those over my back yeah oh yes staples oh i love it
oh yeah yeah have you seen throw out the big thing of tax oh you ever seen this taylor and
like hardcore like backyard wrestling and stuff and they do it on like like like a writer dude they take a bucket of tax and they
just dump them on the on the on the like fighting surface and then oftentimes these same matches are
like a a ladder match where you have to climb like an eight foot ladder and then dangling from the
roof is the belt right so repeatedly these guys are climbing up the ladder,
almost getting it,
and then the other guy takes the ladder out from under them
and then picks the ladder up and smashes them with it,
of course, you know, right?
So they just got tacks all in them.
It's great.
Great.
I mean, not like a fun way to do it,
but a fun way to watch.
Yeah.
Oh, no.
Are we watching a video?
What do we have here the wwe ecw tna
thumbtack moments oh my god oh that's mankind and that guy really paid the price with his body
is mankind the name of the wrestler yeah yeah um i can't recall his real name but like
he was like his persona seemed to be
like an office worker who had snapped.
I'm watching as you're talking.
He had this leather face mask and had crazy hair,
but it seemed like he was always wearing a button-up shirt.
Oh.
So the thing he's hitting him with
looks pretty light. You guys are probably behind me.
Just do this. I'll pause it.
Go to 55.
Alright, I am at 55.
Alright, before we hit play,
just quickly observe that by his feet
are all the thumbtacks he pulled out.
Poured out. Ready, set, play.
So mankind...
Oh, there are the thumbtacks.
Oh no, he can't get his...
Oh, no.
...with nails in it out of the side.
What the fuck is that?
He's got an enormous 4x4 post.
That would puncture a lung.
With nails.
Wait, why is there a board with barbed wire in there?
Oh, I don't know that there...
Oh!
Here it comes.
Oh!
He really tacked him.
He's bleeding!
That's not what I thought!
Oh, it's real!
She's just like, oh it's real! I didn't know it was real!
Yeah, you can't fake this!
Attack for all...
I thought the attacks would be real. I knew that they did some pretty insane stuff.
Yeah, that's real.
That guy's in really good shape.
Ah! Oh, that looks so terrible! insane stuff yeah that guy's really good shit very real ah that's great he's muscular backed
yeah i think that that hurts him though right like he's got yes this hurts the wrestler there
and muscular like i feel like one of our backs you'd be like
i got a little cushioning back there it It's all right. I stopped playing.
This gentleman snuck in and stole the bat.
Oh, you missed it.
I have another question that maybe you have some insight for, Queb.
Is there drug testing?
Will they be testing for performance-enhancing drugs?
I believe so, yes.
Because I have a suspicion that a couple of these gentlemen
who make a good deal of money off their bodies online doing,
you know, these guys are making tens of thousands of dollars for instagram posts and shit they're probably
doing something well i i got some insider info here i i'm pretty convinced that they um they do
the drug testing and i've seen some of the fighters fighters before it was announced that they were going to go fight.
And then like four weeks ago, and they went from this big to this big.
You know what I mean?
Like they shrunk.
So what I think is that there were a few guys who, you know, who were juicing it up.
And then they figured, oh, now I have to fight.
I kind of should stop it because if I get caught, you know, I get disqualified.
I don't need Joe Lozon.
I need Jon Jones.
If people don't get that, Jon Jones takes performance enhancing drugs.
He's been busted twice for performance enhancing drugs.
And people still buy it.
But he's escaped like 30 times.
Fair point.
Those are great fucking odds.
It would be funny if in a YouTube fight
afterward they're like
disqualifying someone for pot.
I wouldn't think they would do that.
I'd be disqualified.
All the competitors would be disqualified.
All the cookies, man.
Don't stop eating the cookies, guys.
All those goddamn cookies.
I said, is there a pot in this cookie?
I'll try it.
I've had some PKA fans come up to me and ask me, like, so do you have any of the cookies with you?
And I'm like, oh, get out.
So I was preparing for the fight, and he said, do you want an HGH cookie?
I said, I'll have two dozen, please.
And then I started eating them.
Getting huge.
That's going to be an awesome fight.
It's fucking legit.
We were watching Kitchen Nightmares or something like that, some sort of Gordon Ramsay show.
I love those, by the way.
I like that too now.
There's a black girl on there, though, and she would flex her arms occasionally.
She's wearing a wife beater type type thing and her arms are enormous like way bigger than a woman's arm should ever be unless
you're like literally a top tier professional athlete there are ufc fighting women whose arms
are not that big and at one point one of the other girls was like go you know they're having like a
fight right an argument she's like go do some more hdh and i was like oh oh she wouldn't just make
that shit up she knows something like
like i that girl yeah that's not a that's not a go-to female insult no no it's not this is more
hgh like someone found a vial or a pill prescription bottle in in a purse and
however you administer it i have no idea i believe it's injections i i heard stallone got caught with
it he was going to australia and i think they found it uh in his bags or something i believe he had vials of hgh
i couldn't afford to do hgh it's not that expensive no not the money i mean like joe
rogan went from a normal sized head individual when in news radio to the man he is like his
large his noticeably larger head today
which you know it's hypothesized that that may have been a contributing thing who knows i'm not
making any levying any accusations against a larger podcaster who could beat the shit out of me i
wouldn't do that oh is that urchins is that but if i took it like i would have oh if they allowed
headbutting god i'll go to the top oh you're like a Macy's Day parade float. You come in there,
it's GG.
You know that when they show that
Homer's skull,
they're like, you've actually got a slightly
thicker skull in that old Simpsons episode. I think I've got
whatever that is. That's the
boxing episode. That's when Homer ends up fighting
Mike Tyson at the end, and Mo
paramotors into
the arena.
And he grabs Homer and saves him. had been like his promoter like pushing him to fight like like mike tight and he like
grabs homer and saves him with a paramotor because that's a playoff the fan man thing you've heard
that before yeah yeah yeah i've seen the fan man crash and all that stuff very funny very funny
is that is that like well known in the para community he yeah he's not well regarded um people don't like people who do things that so quickly paramotoring
is not regulated and people really like it that way so when people do the kinds of things that
would bring regulations everyone shits on them and uh flying into a stadium and interrupting a
boxing match like no no don't pay any attention to us. We like it the way it is.
There's a photo there, by the way, of the girl with the HGH arms that I was referring to.
Just looks ripped.
Just looks ripped.
She was so...
I think she's attractive, too.
But she was such a cunt with a capital C.
All caps.
Cunt.
That, like, you couldn't stand her.
She was just obnoxious. I believe her name stand her. She was just a noxious...
I believe her name was Elise.
She was a fucking garbage human being.
She looks okay in the picture.
I'm saying she's
attractive. I'm attracted to her, but she's
a cunt. She's a
garbage human being. So what you need
is a ball gag.
You think you can handle this chick?
She'd pull that thing the fuck out knock
you unconscious and you'd wake up with something stuck in you well she was willing in my fantasy
here like oh no no she's not willing she'd get racist with it too she'd call you a cracker
and she'd beat you down i just i mean i beat you down i thought she'd like the ball gag
oh no we'd both like it guess. She's definitely the dominant one
in any relationship that she has,
I would say.
She's just the worst personality.
We don't talk about it anymore.
All of those personalities in cooking shows
are unpleasant because nobody wants
to watch good-natured folks.
Now it's Steve
of Steve's Kitchen versus Allie
of Allie's Bakery ally of you know ally's
bakery and like steve going man that's well done on that well done congratulations this is great
you know i don't even mind losing because you're respectable nobody wants that you want maniacs
screaming at each other that's why kitchen nightmares is such a good cooking show yeah
there's a new kitchen nightmares great there's a new kitchen nightmare show where it's like um
that old home renovation show where
that guy got busted with a DUI and they don't do it anymore.
But like Gordon Ramsay
comes in. That good looking ex-model dude?
I don't know about his past
but the guy who used to do the home
renovation show where they'd come in and they'd
do the big... He was really excitable and he was also kind of a
carpenter himself. Yeah.
At the end of the show they'd always have like a bus
there parked in front of the new home and the family behind the bus then they move the bus to reveal which is
was the extreme extreme home makeover yeah yeah yeah yeah you got he got busted with
i believe he got busted with a dui and i think that show got canceled i could be wrong about
some of those details but what i was going to say is there's a gordon ramsay show that somewhat
mimics that called 24 hours uh to hell and Back where they – he comes to the restaurant.
He's like, all right, your food is shit.
We're going to spend the next 24 hours completely renovating your restaurant, new stoves, new ovens.
We're throwing all the fucking microwaves away.
And you guys, the cooking crew, are coming out to my customized bus here. That's a kitchen inside of a bus.
Like the sides of the bus come off to reveal a whole kitchen.
And my personal chef friends are going to like teach you how to cook six dishes.
And those are your new menu.
And you open again tomorrow with the same customers who are here right now and are disgusted with what you've done.
Because I've shown them like rats in your toasteraster and maggots in your meat and shit like that.
And I'm watching this and I'm like, wait a goddamn
minute, 24 hours? You can't even get
the roaches out in 24 hours.
You can't even clean
the place properly in 24 hours.
I don't know, I like that show too. I like all
Gordon Ramsay's shit.
Yeah, I like him.
Should we place bets on who's going to win?
KSI or Logan Paul? I would bet on KSI because he's won before and I will say this, yeah i like him okay should we should we place bets on who's gonna win ksi logan paul i would
bet on ksi because he's won before and uh i will say this like like it if anyone's making a bet
based solely on physique i i gotta say logan's bigger and stronger looking uh to me like i just
watched the ksi fight there and i was thinking the whole time like logan's arms were always that big
and ksi is like in the middle of an athletic
competition so they're pumped up. Logan
was so big. I hung out with him for a week
and it's so big. I'm going to go with KSI
because he looks so athletic
in that fight.
See?
I'm going to have to go with KSI too.
Yeah. Yeah, KSI.
Yeah, KSI. Alright, well we can't all
agree. I mean's sometimes when you're
but do we really want to bet against the us of a yeah here yeah i mean that's the thing about
american man like like if you're from brazil brazilian fans are on your side if you're from
america american fans will evaluate the two and figure out which one they like more, unbiasedly.
That's because resilient people only have one sport they're fucking good at, and we're good at every fucking thing.
They're good at soccer and MMA.
That's lots of sports.
Based on the nothing I know about KSI, because I wasn't on the show when that happened,
and the little bit of stuff I know from trending on Twitter about Logan or Jake,
whichever one it was in the suicide forest,
I think I'd get along better talking to KSI.
But at the end of the day, he's a Brit.
And I'm not going to root for those colonialists.
I've met a lot of those people who are sort of universally disliked or hated or whatever.
And every single time I've walked away with it going, he's a nice guy in person.
I liked Logan Paul.
He was very friendly.
He was very high energy and just like, yeah, man, we're going to do this and that.
It's going to be great.
You should do this.
You should do that.
Just a nice, personable, friendly guy.
He wasn't like a stuck-up
asshole or anything like that he wasn't like full of himself necessarily when he had lots of reason
to be and uh and he was just very friendly like like i i guess i understand why he gets a lot of
hate yeah that japanese suicide forest thing uh was a miss a miss that was it was a hard swing
though he swung so god damn hard
what if they'd done that what if they'd used that that dead japanese man as a pinata
what do you think i mean that would have been even more tasteless imagine you know he wouldn't
have gotten in nearly as much trouble if he would have taken that fucking hat off before getting all
somber as he was filming himself like oh i thought it was you know gonna be like an
interesting video and then i walked into the suicide forest after all the japanese people
were like oh don't they go there they're the people you know so i went there and i found the
dead people and so i thought i'll vlog it with my toy story hat and it's like do you realize how
tone deaf this seems yeah it's it's really about how he handled the situation right
and because if we were in the video or after the video
both yeah yeah right both right so if we're if if we're let's say you know we're out camping pk
camping you know and there we see a guy hanging first thing everybody does is turn the fucking
cameras off right i mean that that's what i would do okay or at least not film it and
then you just ask a question so maybe we'll respond do we turn the cameras off because
i follow your lead on this one kyle i think we all know what happens we do not turn the cameras off
but we do not act like we just, we're
not like, hey, this is gonna be
great. Maybe we could work out some sort of a CPM
deal with like a coffin
company or like, or something
like that. Some sort of suicide prevention.
No, Kyle, no, no, no. This is Weekend
at Bernie's written all over it.
Come to Jared's
Rope Emporium.
So let's say, you know, i would say fuck this shit we're calling
the cops right now we're not filming the rest right let's say you do end up filming wait what
what you do we immediately like make sure to see if he's dead see if you can save him try to revive
him of course get it on film right there's bugs in him okay okay sure you do that sure you do that right
afterwards afterwards you'll have the decency to blur everything out i shoot yeah oh really i'm
pro blur on this as a matter of fact i'd be so shitty at it there'd just be a black box covering
way too much so we we still have one person who's on the logan paul train right so
let's say you do all of that you don't blur anything you don't do anything right here's
another one for you you don't edit your own videos okay you send it to your editor you think your
editor is gonna go like yeah let this dad guy that guy that's great you know your producer
looks at it goes oh yeah dead guy on YouTube is great
Meanwhile, you're pulling 300 million views a month on YouTube
You're making if I'd have to estimate a million dollars of revenue
Solely of your merch shop, okay
You're pulling in two three four million dollars a month of other business ventures you're rolling in the cash
would it be a smart business decision to say okay i'm gonna put a dead man who just killed himself
in japan after disrespecting this country for the last two vlogs up on my youtube channel and risk
all of all no of course not never would do However, you asked about a PKA camping trip where we find a man dangling in the Georgia woods.
And in that scenario.
Oh, Georgia.
Oh, then it's fine.
I was talking about Japan.
No, no, no, no.
Is he dangling near a river?
Could we use him as part of the rope swing?
Oh, man.
We might do like a World War II weaponry video if we've got a real dead Jap.
You know?
Jesus.
Woody's got a Japanese World War II rifle.
I do.
He's got an Arisaka.
We'd get that thing out, put it in his hands, give him one of those pointy hats.
Oh, we'd have a great time.
Weekend at Konichiwa.
It'd be awesome.
It'd be so fun.
Oh, man.
No, we wouldn't do that, but we would definitely film the guy and talk about it and upload it for sure.
The dead man.
And we'd blur it.
Yeah, we'd blur it.
Except when we uploaded to live, that would be unblurred.
It would obviously be with a lot more respect.
And I don't think you would start off the vlog saying,
Yo, this has never been done before.
This is the first time
it has been done on YouTube.
You know what I mean?
You wouldn't hype it up.
Obviously, it's the second time.
You have to be factual about it.
Very tasteless.
That would be great.
That would be great.
Great to stumble upon the body.
We should mock this up. That would be great. Great to stumble on the body during the game. Hell, we should mock this up next PKA Adventure, right?
We'll get the hat, get the dead body replica.
Okay, I got a very inappropriate joke.
It's going to be like, hey, guys, if you're struggling with any mental issues,
you know, hit us up.
We can beat you in the next game.
No, no. Okay, but for real, if you do struggle. He's just like, I just don't know what to do. I hope one of your 11-year-old super fans
is seeing the whole other side of Quibble Cup right now.
My inappropriate jokes,
they don't make it on YouTube,
but here on my YouTube,
but here on PK, I'm all good.
There's lots of things
with us to possibly kill himself there's blades and rope
i just bought this brought this revolver just in case we run into a bear by the way it's loaded
i'm just gonna put it right over here. You know, like right there. Don't get your supplies. Just bring a gallon of gasoline and dress in newspaper.
Oh, Jesus Christ.
No, it's a fun bit.
See you when you get here.
Dress.
Yeah, it was definitely a retarded move.
I'm surprised someone in his camp didn't.
Oh, there were so many people it went through.
They were there with four or five people, right? Obviously
you're in shock, but I assume
one person would say, hey, listen, don't
fucking do this. But I would
assume they're his yes men.
Like the whole gang there. They're like, yeah,
yeah, yeah. On everything, you know what I mean?
Then meanwhile, his editor, he might
have said like, hey, you shouldn't do this.
But then he's afraid he's
going to lose his job.
Then you have somebody uploading the video.
I don't know exactly how his production works.
And then the video goes live.
You might have friends who are going to say, like, if one of my buddies uploads it, five minutes later, I'm fucking calling him.
Be like, remove that instantly.
Right.
But he might not have that circle,
and so many things went wrong,
and this guy is pulling 300 million views
or something ridiculous like that.
He needs someone to check him.
The outside looking in, you always think like,
oh, well, you know, I would have someone
who wasn't a yes man to tell me that,
but when you're Mr. Moneybags,
and he's paying all of them handsomely,
it's the same kind of thing on like a somewhat smaller scale than what happened to mcgregor with throwing stuff around that bus
where it's like you have to think like there's 20 fighters with them how many managers for those
fighters who knows they all know about this and nobody said no like it's almost like a cockiness
so the way they they they hopped in a private jet flew from Ireland to New York. What is that, a five-hour flight, six-hour flight?
It's so gangster.
It's so goddamn gangster.
I hear you.
I hear you, and you're not wrong.
But all six hours, all of them on the plane, like, yeah, yeah, yeah, we're going to get this guy.
We're going to get this guy.
Oh, my God.
We're going to fuck him up.
Yeah, they're drinking.
They're all encouraging.
They're all building.
Not one guy on the plane was like, dude, we could throw away everything on this move yeah yeah but most of the guys on that plane don't have a tenth as much to
throw away as mcgregor and so they probably think as long as i attach my myself to this sure thing
you know hitch myself to his wagon it's better than risking pissing him off and being on my own
we're not for sure that that was a bad move on his part yet. If there were two
hypothetical universes that we could observe simultaneously, one in which that never happened,
let's just say he stayed at home that night, and the one that we currently reside in,
I don't think he's going to get in very much legal trouble. I think he's going to fight Habib
by the end of the year, if not first quarter of next year or something like that.
end of the year if not like you know first quarter of next year or something like that i bet he's better off in the long run five years down the road in our current universe where he
did throw that dolly at the bus like like i i just think it built it's built so much hype
they're going to be playing those clips of him throwing that thing there's going to be like like
usually i don't even watch the when the ufc teasers when it's like because usually I don't even watch the UFC teasers. Because usually they don't really dislike each other.
Daniel Cormier and Jon Jones, of course, hate each other.
So I watch those because they're talking legit shit to one another and they mean it.
They really dislike one another and there's a lot of bad blood there.
But most fighters, it's like if Wonderboy's fighting somebody, he's like,
all shook.
Come on down to South Carolina.
We'll go fishing after this.
They're all friendly guys.
But this is going to be amazing promos this is going to make for such good fight porn leading up to it
they should do a fucking world tour where they travel around like the mayweather thing and talk
shit and arena after arena i'd i'd watch that i'd pay to watch that because abib can't trash talk
abib barely speaks english ah maybe maybe barely pushing it, but he's certainly not a fluent English speaker.
He's like a 5 out of 10 or something.
Yeah.
His trash talk is more charming to me because his English is bad.
Yeah, and his accent is kind of fun.
And he's very matter-of-fact about certain things.
Yeah, yeah.
He's a kind of...
The bus is a great example, right?
Connor busted up the bus
he was in. He's like, it's not my bus. I don't care.
It's a weird take.
Okay.
Go on. Anything else?
I don't have to pay for the bus. I ask.
Not on you. I'm happy.
Bus expensive.
You sound just like that YouTuber with the gun. Not on you. I'm happy. But it's expensive. That's it.
You sound just like that YouTuber with the gun.
Actually, you did a really good impression.
Oh, thank you.
Yeah, yeah.
So, speaking of YouTubers who are losing it,
I think you guys have to do an ad break or not.
But I have a great transition into a possible next subject if anybody's interested.
Yeah.
Yeah, I think Logan Paul, you know, lost it, slipped up.
He was going up, up, up, up, up.
He was trying to top himself every time, right?
And then something has to happen.
Like that happens to so many YouTubers.
Yeah, alternate universe.
I don't think he just keeps going up and beats PewDiePie.
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bad he won't invite you career ruined click on that link hook us up all right so what were we uh
what were we looking at here we have um this is some juicy some more juicy drama i feel like i
came on the right show the right day like there's so much stuff going on
right now finally have somebody to talk to so pretty much all right do you guys know foosytube
i watched a philip defranco video on him so i'm mildly up to speed so i don't know who that is
can i get like a quick backstory yeah quick backstory foosytube youtuber with 10 million
subscribers a few years ago he was one of the biggest guys on the platform
everybody knew foosytube he would do pranks you know fake pranks some real pranks who knows
they were fun they were entertaining to watch and um he has almost 2 billion views on his
youtube channel i think combined he has 2 billion views total um and all of a sudden he fell off how would you
describe him he's kind of an outsized personality always i i feel like he's very uh you know he
speaks like motivational he he's one of those youtubers which really manipulates his audience
i would say right and and sure hey if that's his thing go ahead and do that right um so, if that's his thing, go ahead and do that, right?
So that's the type of YouTuber he is.
And he does vlogs or whatever he does now.
But pretty much he fell off.
And I feel like he just tried to reboot his career or something like that.
While having a manic episode or however you call that.
He's pretty much gone full crazy. Like crazy this guy has lost it um and this is youtube with 10 million subscribers
what are we gonna do with this 18 minute video like i don't know oh oh um i mean i can i can
link some shorter ones where or just whatever but uh i would say just watch a little bit of it and can you give
a an example or two of like how the like the stuff he's done has escalated so he is at he's he's uh
pretty much he hosted this event july 15th july 15th and he said drake's gonna be there drake's
gonna be there and he it you know didn't have any proof that drake was gonna be there. Drake's going to be there. And he, you know, didn't have any proof that Drake was going to be there.
So he hyped up this entire event that Drake was going to be there.
And then like the day before the event, he's trying to like get into a club where Drake supposedly is, you know.
And then he claims on many podcasts that he spoke to Drake and Drake is going to show up.
And then afterwards, Drake said, like, I've never met this dude, you know?
So he's pretty much trying to scam everybody into this.
He's saying that he wants to make $100 million in his life
and he has these ideas which are the best ideas in the world.
And to me, I look at this guy and I'm like,
this guy needs some serious help.
Like, whatever he's saying, sure, okay, cool.
But you need somebody to talk to.
Apparently he's bipolar too.
But he looks like he's having an episode.
And he's yelling at people.
Under a minute, the livestream fail one.
Do you guys want to queue it up?
Yeah, I think that's a good little taste of FouseyTube.
He's really going off on Keem there.
If it's the one I saw,
Keem looked
like the winner. We'll see. This could be something different.
Is everyone queued up at zero?
Give me a second.
Okay.
Yeah.
Ready, set, play.
Even when I hated you, I never spoke against you
because I said I want to speak to him in real life and have a face-to-face conversation.
What I'm saying isn't hate.
I'm just telling you as a man at 28 years old what I feel.
You made me want to commit suicide last year.
I wanted to kill myself because of all the attention you gave me.
I rewatched videos going viral after the attention you're giving me now
of you saying,
Boosie is the biggest piece of shit, egotistical asshole on this earth.
I have bipolar and depression.
That, what you put into my head, made me want to kill myself!
Wow. This is not what I saw. Shut up! I WANNA KILL MYSELF!
Wow.
This is not what I saw. Shut up!
Fucking start!
Hey!
Yo, no hate, no hate!
It's all about love, not hate!
Well.
I would say that paints Keemstar In a negative light
He's obviously crazy
But I feel like
As I watch it I thought well you know
Keemstar could pick on someone who's emotionally fragile
The one thing I'm thinking of now
Is Basher he kept calling Basher a pedophile
And going off on that
I happen to know Basher
Because he was in the Minecraft community
And he would present Keemstar He just wanted to get all the facts straight.
You know, he wanted to be like, this is the age I was.
This is the age she was.
This is where we are.
This is what the they made him see a psychologist.
And I guess if I remember right, they were like four years and change older.
So it wasn't right.
And they went to a psychologist and they said that they were emotional peers
and it wasn't like a pedophile motivation.
But even when McKeemstar was presented with that evidence,
he just kept his story going,
that they were like,
this guy's 28 and she was 13.
Yeah, but not at the same time.
He just kept getting the facts wrong intentionally and uh
what he's 45 and his wife was seven she wasn't oh my god really well like not at the same time
or anything but yes everything i said is factually accurate he calls himself the cervix pounder
but in that case though it seemed like basher was in on the jokes i'm not
sure or maybe he got in on it later because there were some off the record recordings that eventually
got released where it seemed like they were building a story as a pair i don't know yeah
there was some fake news there but uh anyway this palsy guy looks fragile emotionally emotionally fragile yeah and and by the way where i mean he uh he hosted his
event and like people showed up obviously and then somebody called in a bomb threat so they
had to shut it down so here he is in a parking lot on on a car uh with all his fans like around him
and he's like speaking to them i heard him talking about it he said like that was supposed to happen something bad could have happened in there they called a bomb threat we all got out
safely you know like that was god i don't know if he says god's plan but that was the plan
apparently this guy read the secret right and and is i saw him uh the thing i saw he was in like an
interview room like a almost like an in-person podcast would be.
And he was yelling at Keemstar.
And he just told Keemstar that he needed to read The Secret.
So he's motivated by this book.
This book has infected Fousey.
And now he just thinks positive thinking makes all your dreams come true. And that's another thing.
I saw this podcast he was on.
And he was talking to Sam pepper who's like uh he streams
on youtube right now is the same right that's i saw that and he's he's talking about you know
positive energy and this and that and then sam pepper goes like hey listen you know you somebody
called in a bomb threat and then one of your guys told the police that i i had a bomb with me right when in reality he really didn't
And and he's like well, you know you one of your guys is to take responsibility for that and then foo
See tube says well if one of my guys said it then it probably was the energy and you deserved it, right?
And and I'm like I'm sitting there like And he's like, it's all about positive energy. And then meanwhile, he walks off and starts calling Sam Pepper a bitch.
You're a bitch.
You're a bitch.
This bitch.
This bitch.
And he goes, but it's all about positive energy.
And then walks off.
It's like the weirdest thing I've ever seen.
No respect.
No respect at all.
He's flipping out.
Yeah.
I just looked up and confirmed it.
no respect at all he's flipping out yeah i just looked up and confirmed it's called uh bipolar rapid cycling where instead of having like an extended period of mania you know and then a lot
of depression like up and down for long periods of time you'll go wildly back and forth yeah to
where you're like one day like whoa i am on top of the world positive energy everything's great and then like seemingly
immediately after you're all down in the dumps like who knows i don't want to speculate on his
mental health he did say he's bipolar apparently i think i speak for all of us when i say
foosie if you're out there please keep filming all this ridiculous shit yeah come on the show
yes yes come on the show tell me where i'm wrong and whether or not i'm a bitch or a stud i don't
know hey you can give us all some positive thinking tips so give us the secret i think
we could all do with a little more positive thinking i need some foosie in my life i think
it'd be i mean it'd be x draws times five times five. Is there anything new with Ice?
I guess he done anything outrageous in the last week or so?
Kyle, you're my number one source on Ice-related shenanigans.
I know nothing.
I haven't been watching.
I followed up on him a little bit a few days ago,
and he seems to just rocket up and go down.
He has a magical ability to win back his
fans but his fans also are quick to get very angry at him for breaches of trust typically or being
boring anyway uh i guess right now he went on the rv trip no no he did the thing he did the the house
with blade in it and then after that he went on a vacation and now he went on a vacation that he's not filming and his fans are upset that he's
taking a vacation from his vacation from his vacation he's not filming like he just they're
like oh my god like your whole life is time off and you need time off from your time off
so that's a that's that's one of the reasons I don't stream anymore.
I'm kind of done with streaming.
OK, because because to a lot of people, it might seem, you know, when he's when he's
filming and, you know, he's having a good time, it's his time off.
Right.
But at the end of the day, it's still work.
You know, he still has to entertain.
He has to keep in mind this whole time.
OK, somebody's
watching a lot of people are watching right um and as as a youtuber you can take a day off like i i
take my weekends off sometimes um and i work before and then get it uploaded in the weekend
but i i don't do any work as a streamer if you take a day off or take a week off or take two
weeks off like you're done there goes all your all the
subscribers all the donations your business just stops for that entire period they are you're gone
and and obviously that's uh you know that's very hard and now he's like i guess i want to take a
holiday yeah you lose momentum you lose revenue There's no long tail on streaming.
It's like you said.
And your job is to make it look like you're having a blast.
So everyone thinks you're having a blast.
But I don't know.
Sometimes it's work to go.
You know what the hardest part is?
And I'm sure it's different for everyone.
But for me, just putting myself out there for judgment for a few hours.
I used to stream a lot when i
had a minecraft server and uh it was like man like just a lot of them are giving me feedback on maybe
you know something that wasn't fun that happened to them on my server and i'm like what's supposed
to do support while i'm streaming like the everyone but you doesn't want to see that and uh
and you know it's just what i said like you're putting yourself in a position where
people have an opinion on you for five hours and that in itself is a bit draining yeah
i've got a a pretty fucked up topic we can go to if anybody wants this is not a show for that
are we gonna close off on on the k sign and foosy tube i just linked two videos oh i didn't even see
those yeah we can check that out first.
If you guys want to check it out.
We are not on a time crunch, sir.
Guys, guys, come on. We only have two and a half hours left.
Hurry up. Hurry up.
KSI.
The press conference one?
Well, the KSI press conference,
if you guys want to watch it,
that's one. And then the other one is like FouseyTube calling Sam Pepper a bitch while talking about positive energy.
I want to see both of those.
Let's start with the KSI one before we close that out.
I see this is linked.
And that's the one.
It's six minutes.
Do we watch the whole thing?
That's a lot of video.
I mean, i'm down
hey it's your podcast not mine we can watch the whole thing and then
see like we can dip out if it starts stalling yeah let's see how it goes we'll start at zero
and stop it but the end is the best part i assume because that's where he walks out
maybe we'll skip ahead all right ready set play
i hope this music isn't a problem Maybe we'll skip ahead. All right. Ready, set, play.
I hope this music isn't a problem.
Really?
He's in UK.
Who's this enormous man behind Logan? The black guy? The guy in the 45. He's in UK. The reigning, defending... Who's this enormous man behind Logan?
The black guy?
The guy in the 45 tank top?
Yeah.
Tank top?
The guy in the middle with the 45 on it.
No, the black guy on the black.
Oh.
Oh, is KSI doing his Khabib hat?
Is that what I'm getting?
I didn't put that together at first.
Or is that a Logan Paul hat?
Yeah. I'm not sure what he's going for with that.
Well, he claims Logan Paul
wearing a wig pretty much.
Because he's balding.
I believe that's it.
That Walmart shit won't work here, boy!
The Walmart reference. Thanks, Quip.
the Walmart reference thanks quip
hasn't England already suffered a little it's uncomfortable we lost to Croatia in the semi-finals we had Trump come over last week now we got you this week
Oh man.
You got a new girlfriend now.
Oh man.
Oh.
What did he say about the girlfriend?
You got a new girlfriend now.
That's all.
What's up, babes?
Logan's about four insults away from having somebody vlog next to his hanging body.
The audience is chanting, she's a hoe.
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
So.
He is dressed nicer.
Why don't you introduce me to her?
Huh?
Apparently you only have 85% of your testicle.
Let me give her the extra 15.
Well, the math checks out.
Let me show her a real man.
Oh, he's going clubber laying.
But wait, is KSI claiming he has 15% of a testicle? Shut the fuck up. This is coming from me. That insult wasn't very on point. Oh, he's going clubber laying but wait is his case I cleaning here
He said to Rocky about
Have I come back to meet my apartment. That's a real man
Get the part
and still not end up in the final movie.
Is that what happened to Logan?
My song ended up in the final movie.
He got cut out of the whole movie.
Where were you?
Oh, yeah.
Deleted scenes.
True. It deleted them. That's true. You know what? scenes What it fuck the pole
Besides a ludicrous mom and your disgusting delusional dad Some Polish guys out there. Everyone has my back. And no one has yours.
Besides your ludicrous mom and your disgusting delusional dad.
You're disgusting, man.
You said you beat me in a fight.
You said you beat me in a fight with one hand, right?
You wouldn't do shit.
You're an old man.
He would really hurt my feelings if we were at this. You wouldn't mind lasting one round of all the little girls you like kissing.
It's a reference to him kissing some girls on video.
He's disgusting.
You sick, deadbeat, bald-headed prick.
Is that Logan Paul's dad?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Why is his dad challenging him to a fight?
Are you going to make not one, but two dumbass children?
What the fuck is wrong with your spouse?
It's a whole family trying to live off hype, it seems like.
Yeah.
Hey, if you want to ask about the two dumb children, ask your mom.
Ask your mom about the two dumb children.
What does that mean? If you want to know about two dumb children, ask your mom. Ask your mom about the two dumb children. What does that mean?
If you want to know about two dumb children, ask your mom.
I get it.
You ready for some questions?
Like a fuck your mom.
Oh, I interpret it as your mom created two dumb children.
Yeah, it was.
Oh, okay.
Hey, I'm going to be honest.
Fuck you, Logan.
Fuck you, Logan.
Like he still hasn't said anything. Fuck you, Logan. I think he's! Like, he still hasn't said anything, Logan.
I think he's not supposed to.
I think they take turns.
Fuck you, Logan!
No, no, they're supposed to take turns, right?
I mean, I don't know.
I'm just going by other things I've seen, like the McGregor tour.
Is that lip quivering?
They didn't get to talk at the same time.
Hey, I would love to sit here and answer your questions.
I feel like KSI addressed everything.
I'm out. I'll see you August
25th.
Oh.
I barely caught the mic.
How's it going, bro?
Yeah.
So, the first time we
watched this, we couldn't hear the audio very well.
And in my head, he said something much more clever than that
yeah he didn't
no that wasn't a very good sign off
from him at all no I thought he gave him like a
a diss that was hard to come back
from and walked away
yeah that
I mean if it's free
I'll watch it
I mean it'll be free
I will be watching the five gifs of the fight afterward on I mean it'll be free I will be watching not allowed gifts of the fight. It'll be illegally stream somewhere
Yeah, sure keystone with us at all, oh no, you know what this is my channel
Nobody fucking oh you're gonna get your channel struck do it Oh, no, you know what? Just use my channel. Nobody will fucking...
Oh, you're going to get your channel struck. Do it.
Do it. Throw 10 on there.
It's not even monetized.
Taylor, was this Florida Man?
That wasn't the one I was going to, but we can jump to that if you'd like.
Should we finish up with the foosie tube? Yes, should we finish up with the foosie tube?
Yes, yes, let's finish up with the foosie tube.
Then we got it nice, cleaned up, you know,
packed us up, we put it on the side,
and we proceed
with the next story.
I'm glad that you got some structure for us here.
Right? Hey, that's what I'm here for, you know?
Yeah, so that in three minutes we're not like,
but also, that previous thing.
This Florida man made
$2 million of doing this.
I'm joking.
I'm joking.
I'm ready for the Philly D show. By the way, I love
Philly D's channel. I've taken to watching it again
and he does an amazing job.
Yeah, I have to agree.
I'm just a big fan. He actually covers a lot of politics
and he does it
with less bias than anyone
who, I don't know, he's better than the pros. Are you guys ready? I skipped the politics.
I don't understand it. Fair enough. Ready, set, play. Weird and aggressive. The moment
I start walking off, country comes running down. You're not going anywhere. You're not
going anywhere. And the police have said we're free to leave if we want to.
They have video of country pushing me,
grabbing my arm, not letting me leave.
And I'm like, why are you detaining me?
Like, what if I, like you,
you don't have the right to do that first of all.
Then he starts shouting officer, officer, officer.
These two officers run over to me, instantly handcuffed me,
searched me and put me in the back of a police car
for three hours.
Whilst I'm sitting in the back of the police car,
they left me alone.
You crack me up, dude, you're in good spirit.
I mean, like, do you not think that's like
the most ridiculous thing you've ever heard?
Can I answer now?
Yeah, sure.
I gave you the floor, so can I get the floor now?
No, absolutely.
All right, first of all, I'm happy to be talking to you.
I believe in energies.
Energy.
And I believe literally through energy,
like we attracted you attracted
shame, me, Kim, now you guys so I have no doubt that the energy that you walk around
with attracted itself to the venue. I'm not saying it was your fault. I'm not saying it
was you. I'm not saying it was your audience. But the issue here isn't country. It isn't
John Fitzpatrick. It's how you live your life as a person saying because of my energy, it justifies the fact that one of your staff
shall be let lie to the police.
You manifested it to your life.
I manifested that one of your staff members should lie to the police
and commit a criminal offence by providing...
Because you live your life that way every day, God.
How could you justify that?
I told you what happened. This is real reply to that.
Bro,
if someone from my team
lied and said
that you had a bomb,
bro,
that's your fault
because you vibed that.
That's what you said to me.
I swear.
I'm not taking that
out of context.
That's what you said.
I stand by every word
that I said this whole time.
And I still love you as well.
No one's going to take you
seriously like, bro.
Watch.
You're a meme.
Watch. I got Bella Hadid in my DMs. What's the last take you seriously, like, bro. Watch. You're a meme. Watch.
I got Bella Hadid in my DMs.
What's the last girl you've had in your DMs?
And then it escalates from there.
Because I don't agree with anything you've said.
What did I do before?
I DMed you.
I don't agree with anything you do, anything you stand by, how you live your life.
We are not the same.
Some finger wagging.
I'm a fucking champion.
Your beta is fuck.
I'm an alpha.
I'm a lion.
Oh, that's a yikes from me on that one i hope in every single stream for the rest of your life your audience reminds you how much of a bitch you look like tonight i'm sure they will thank you you
little bitch count how many times i called him a bitch flipped him off told him he's a little sucker
in real life and he's a bitch who acts on the internet and I'll give you guys like put up a thing
I'll throw a party in LA and throw a pizza party for you guys. I'll order that many pizzas Someone's spreading positivity. Say it again, please. Hashtag hate dies, love arrives, apparently.
It's all good things.
One, no real man.
We got to stop it there.
All right, pause.
Yeah, I saw this, and I was like, whoa, this dude, like, something's wrong, you know?
I'm just spreading positivity, bitch.
I don't care whatever you guys confront me with on this podcast.
I would never react in that way, bitch.
guys confront me with on this podcast i would never react in that way bitch bitch five times i'll throw a minecraft party you know pizzas on me my bitch dude the the most
effective thing he said in that like it seemed like he was trying to hurt his feelings right
but what's gonna actually happen is when he streams there will be thousands of people
calling him a bitch reminding him that he's a bitch. I open every stream forever.
They remind you how many times I called you a bitch.
That's going to work.
This doesn't even rank in the top five of most embarrassing things
that have happened to Sam Pepper.
I don't think he cares at all.
It's among the most viral.
It's like, it'd be like a meme.
So what if somebody calls you a bitch?
Like, I have like 500,000 bad words blocked on my channel, right?
I, you know, like, nobody cares.
Nobody gives a fuck.
Yeah, I mean, I watch Sam get...
I'm going to go leave nasty comments on your videos and try and figure it out.
I now have allowed, like, all words, so nothing gets hit by the spam filter anymore.
But, like, 500,000 got caught, and then I was like, oh, that's too much.
I'm like, now you can call me
whatever the fuck you want to call me.
Yeah, I saw EBZ slap Sam in the face.
What does EBZ stand for?
I don't know.
I thought you might.
I don't know either.
He's the black guy, right?
Yeah.
EBZ, I don't know.
It's just his name, Chiz. His name is not EBZ. Might be his fucking's the black guy, right? Yeah. E-B-Z. I don't know. It's just his name, Chiz.
His name is not E-B-Z.
Might be his fucking initials, though, right?
Ebenezer Bartholomew...
Zygmunt.
Zwiggler.
Yeah, he looks like an Ebenezer.
Oh, yeah.
And yours was better.
Yeah, he looks like a nice Jewish guy, doesn't he?
Eric? Eric. And yours was better. Yeah, he looks like a nice Jewish guy, doesn't he? Eric?
Eric.
I can see Eric.
Man.
So, he's clearly unwell, this guy.
Yeah, 100%.
Like, he's not in his right mind.
There's something wrong there.
Something's loose.
Hopefully he gets it together,
because that seems like a very unhealthy way to live life.
I don't know anything about that Sam Pepper guy
other than when I will go to Ice's subreddit
and peek around at what they're talking about.
They do not seem to care for him.
It's a mixed bag.
I feel like it's easy to be like,
oh, the Ice fans think this,
or the Ice fans hate that
but the thing is there's so many that'll be active on that subreddit at any given time now
they're obviously trends you know there will obviously be a post is like oh this has got
1800 upvotes and it's all about like caroline the alien or something like that and and that's a
couple things one it's kind of funny but two there's a lot of people who dislike caroline
for one reason or another but if you read through the comments of any hate post like if it's someone if
it's someone declaring him the content king and it's got say 200 comments you know a third of
them are like no he's a he's a shekel hoarding jew or and then there's 70 they're like oh yeah
we love him and it just goes back and forth it's It's such a big community that it's a mixed bag.
There are definitely
trends, but it's a real mixed bag
all the way around. And that goes for all the characters.
If Sam Pepper was
truly universally hated,
he wouldn't be doing this for a living.
It wouldn't be his job.
There's enough people out there, thousands of them
that like him. Counterpoint, Wings of Redemption.
He hates it.
No, no, no, you made my point.
There's enough people out there who like Wings of Redemption, despite all the things that are there to steer you in the other direction.
I misunderstood. I thought that you said he wouldn't do it if he hated it.
You were saying he wouldn't do it if people hated him.
No, he wouldn't do it if it weren't profitable. He wouldn't do it if there weren't enough people who love him,
who don't just like him.
They love him.
They wear his merchandise.
They're checking his tweets all the time to see what he's up to
because they're just, oh, yeah, honey, let's see what Sam's doing today.
They love him.
Someone needs to partner with Wings.
It's been tried.
It's been attempted.
You're right. You're right. it's been tried you're right you're right it's been attempted
several times right and i'm sure there's someone out there tapping into him being like wings we
need to make some look look here listen merchandise and he's just like fuck you man
but i want it i want to look here listen i want a shirt that says streaming offline or going
offline doesn't stop it.
I mean, this guy has told more lies about you than Keemstar ever did.
I don't, I can't.
Oh, it's a toughie.
There's a battle of the Titans on that one.
Keem has a total lie about you in a couple of years now.
There was now, there was a time where he really got them all in.
Dude, I used to envy all the other videos he made.
He would make like, I don't know, Optic somebody broke up with his girlfriend and they'd read the tweets
and I'm like, oh my god, he's like
sticking to things that are true.
And with me, it'd just be like three lies
and a truth. But what I'm getting at is
you'd never buy a Keemstar piece of merchandise.
I know you personally certainly wouldn't.
But you're like, oh yeah, I'd love a wing shirt
that said, look here, look at this.
It's his superpower! It's his superpower!
You know he can do this to people!
He just fucking twists the knife,
and then he stops twisting for a little bit,
and you're like, you know what?
I think I like him again.
Yeah, you try to get in bed with Jackie
wearing your look here, look, listen,
oversized shirt for your sleeping tea or whatever,
and it ain't going down.
It ain't going down.
You're right. In your relationship with your your relationship he casts a spell on me it's a completely shift gears i suppose
is that ever a thing where there's a big argument between you and jackie and maybe one person
sleeps on a couch or in a different room uh if i sleep in another room it's no never because of an
argument i would okay stand my ground but there are times
because of a sleep scheduler yeah yeah there is no like like you sleep on the couch like
no no i mean you're free to if you want but this is my part of the bed and that's not negotiable
you don't just kick me out of the bed but um uh sometimes i will sleep in the guest room usually because I want to be up late after the show, almost every day after the show.
Because I'm up for a while.
The show doesn't end that late at like 11.
And I've done all my other duties like uploading and rendering and stuff by midnight.
But I'm not sleeping until 2, 2.30.
I take coffee right before the show.
I hate that about doing the show,
like the afterward time,
because you're trying to be conversational
and somewhat clever for four hours,
and then you'll turn some just dead space,
something in the background, TV on,
and you'll hear something,
and just instinctual,
like you'll think of a joke about it,
where you're like,
no, stop trying to think of stuff like that.
Just fucking go to bed,
but your mind's just in a different mode you gotta slow down exactly yeah and turn
everything off for me i got some chamomile sleepy time tea that helps me i don't really i don't
drink coffee during the show or before the show for the most part is a performance enhancing drug
for podcasters and i down it right as the show starts. Cocaine is too, guys.
Oh, let's go.
And you know how bad caffeine is for you. So try cocaine.
Yeah, exactly.
Do we want to watch, or not watch rather,
talk about that fucked up thing?
Yeah, whatever you had.
Yeah, sure.
All right.
So I was looking up more fucked up things on like DeviantArt and whatnot just to branch out.
And then I found a whole new treasure trove of fucked up shit on – it's called BME, like Body Modification Extreme, I think it stands for,.com.
And this was one I've never heard of before in my life.
It's called – because you've all seen the guy with horns.
We've seen the guys with arm implants of ball bearings and nonsense,
just wanting to be unemployed for the rest of their lives.
And this guy has something I've never heard of before.
It's called nullification.
And so what it is, is you have your genitals removed,
so you look like a Ken doll.
What?
You on your own go, you know what?
Life hasn't been as...
Yes, there is.
That link I just sent to you?
Yeah.
Go and click the...
Underneath the image of the guy's torso, there's click for not safe for work image.
And if you click that continue reading, it'll show the whole thing.
And it's just the dude standing there naked
with just nothing down there.
It's just a horizontal scar
and then a patch where a cock and balls used to be.
I don't even know if technically
this is not safe for work.
There's no genitals.
Tell me where to click, please.
On the bottom of the paragraph, it says click for not safe for image and then it says continue reading yeah
the continue reading i can't show this image i can show the dude no this dude oh my in the groin
area it looks like a ken doll yeah and he's standing there with the confidence of a man who
didn't optionally decide to cut his cock off. Yes, he's so proud.
It's your reflex.
They probably threaded a bit of it through
so now he pisses all over himself
like women do.
I'd say just stick it out the butt.
Stick it out the butt?
I don't know if that's...
You're already spitting in God's face.
Why not make it whole hog?
Just pee out your ass.
You got a hole
there already you know what i don't know why we're not wired like that in the first place
i can't believe nobody along the way or hopefully people on the way were like dude no no no this is
fucked this is fucked up you go to a go to a psychologist go to a psychiatrist or something
don't go get your genitals removed there's a like i've never seen anything like this guy and and it's like i like it's a taint with no pussy but no dick
there's nothing there it's like a doll it it's weird like like i don't know i i can't i want
to say like ever look at under a hood and there's no engine there at all and it seems like something's out of place?
It's like a guy put his dick in between his legs.
Worse than that.
But I do know what you mean.
But then it's seamless.
There's no cracks or anything.
Because he's standing with his legs apart.
So you can see between his legs.
And there's something there that kind of looks like a pussy, to be honest.
If it had the gash in the middle, then it'd be a pussy, like come on you guys you can see it right yeah yeah yeah it's it's
this is just i didn't know guys look like that because there's usually a cock and balls covering
that yeah damn it i i i'm at the i'm at bme.com, which I guess is body modification something or another.
Extreme, I think.
Yeah, and I want to see these galleries of photos because there's something called nipple nullification where they remove the nipples.
And there's also something called tooth nullification where clearly they remove all the teeth.
Hair nullification.
Amputation.
And here's what I zeroed in on.
Navel removal all right we're
literally talking about cutting belly buttons out okay i i do have to say your nipples and
navel like as a guy you don't use them but then again who would want to remove them
yeah i want to keep them and nobody uses the belly button and yet without it you ever see
kyle xy that old show
he didn't have a belly button it's fucking bizarre okay do we have pictures i i can't do we get
pictures i'll hunt some down elsewhere let's see nipple no no no no belly button i want to see the
belly button now oh okay removed belly but i was thinking of doing this guys what do you think should i should i get my
dick and balls removed you know what i think that for me to tell you what to do with your life
anything other than blind acceptance of your decisions would be bigoted of me and so i say
go for it engage in this long-term damaging, likely going to result in you killing yourself or something else in a few years.
Definitely do that.
So I just linked you there.
This is a Metro article.
Teenage artist removes his nipples and belly buttons so that he can sell them on the internet as art.
What a douche.
You know what?
Whoever did it did an incredible job.
Scroll down a bit.
Oh, there they are. There they are. They're pierced. You could have pierced did it, did an incredible job. Scroll down a bit. Oh, there they are.
There they are. They're pierced.
Oh, you could have pierced them afterwards, right?
You didn't even have to go to the bathroom.
Oh, gosh.
Oh, it looks like...
When you said, there they are, they're pierced,
I'm like, no, there's nothing there at all.
I see.
You scroll down a bit, and there they are removed, pierced.
They look like little pork rinds.
What?
Dude, it looks good. Honestly? If you you fried that up i'd give it a go the picture of him shirtless here it's not a bad look
now i can kind of get on board with the no belly button thing but i feel like nipples are
decorative additions it's an aesthetic and the belly button adds a little bit of length to your
torso gives like a stopping point.
Right?
You need that too.
You know what?
When you're looking at it, at the torso, now you don't know.
Like usually you look at the nipples, you go, okay, I'm looking at the top, right?
And then the belly button, you're like, okay, don't go past the belly button because that's
where the dick is.
You know what I mean?
So you're like, okay, belly button, but this guy doesn't.
Then you know, it just messes up. okay belly button but this guy doesn't then you know
it just so your eyes just go down to the fly how much of a self-absorbed arrogant cunt do you have
to be to think that chopping your own nipples off and belly button removal and selling them
is art if anything the only one performing art during this was the doctor making these ridiculous
incisions and removals you know probably the whole time like went to school for fucking eight years here i am cutting this you
know rich kids nipples off you know anyone what a douche i hope he has phantom nipples and that
they it feels like someone's twisting them all the time all the time he's always got chafed nipples
you ever get i want to talk about chafed nipples
now you ever get chafed nipples like like from a certain kind of fabric or shirt especially if
you're running or doing something i sincerely didn't know that that was a thing people got
until i saw that andy episode on the office when they was running and he's like got the bloody
nipple areas and i'm like oh that's a funny joke i went through bloody nipples every year through
most of my young adulthood somebody could somebody tell me? I've never
heard of this. Yeah, it's basically you're running and your
shirt or whatever fabric you're wearing, to
some people, that'll irritate their nipples
and rub back and forth and cause them to
bleed. Oh, shit.
Bleeding is rare.
Irritation.
Well, not rare for you. You've bled a lot,
shockingly, but
I feel like bleeding is normally rare but i
will get them like they'll get chafed by like a certain kind of shirt especially if it's rough
and if i'm sweating and if i'm running or something like like the repeated motion of it just rubbing
and it's very uncomfortable like when i get back home i'm like oh let's get a little neosporin
when it's when it's cold and i'm wearing just a shirt, like a dress shirt.
Yeah.
Then it hurts my nipples.
I was always wondering, like, what the fuck is this?
But apparently, thanks, guys.
For me, it was this.
I was a surfer growing up, and I surfed all year round.
But as you got into, like, no shirt weather, you know, the wetsuit comes off and you start.
You're bored.
If you don't know, it's not just fiberglass and slippery.
You have to put wax on it.
So that wax is really sticky.
It's not like a candle.
It's designed to give your feet traction.
So as you paddle on it, it just kind of like your nipples are like coming off and on.
It's like putting tape on and off your nipples a hundred, a thousand times a day.
And yeah, so every spring
they'd get all scabbed up
and painfully hurt.
Scabbed up?
And then they'd get tougher.
This is worse than testicular torsion.
No, wait.
We have our next topic.
Your nipples are getting tougher.
Yeah, your nipples get tougher.
And then by summertime,
you have the durable nipples
you need to go surfing every day.
Durable nipples?
Yep.
You could have been right in the BDSM scene.
They'd have been just...
Yeah, let me twerk them.
Yeah.
Eh?
Go for it.
Bring it.
The tip of it cracked off.
Hey, you know what I want?
I don't want my nipples removed.
What if I wanted to add a couple extra ones?
Oh, I'd love that.
What's that?
Where would you put them?
Where would you add them?
Yeah.
Oh, man.
Shit, I didn't think this far ahead.
Like on your butt cheeks?
Maybe just do it like...
What if you accent the bottom of your rib cage?
I got it.
Do it like a cat.
I got it.
So I have like three or four rows.
I want it in the roof of my mouth
so that I can constantly lick it.
You'd just be sitting in meetings or whatever
and be like, what's up with Kyle?
He's got that hypolectomy. He's always twitching around
and shivering in his chair. He's always humming
really aggressively.
Why does he only respond in
mmms and mm-mms?
No more spicy food, but
you can pleasure yourself at any point
during the day. Kyle all i'm going to
zaxby's can i get you something
oh that'd be great yeah yeah nipple in your in the roof of your mouth you just lick that thing
all day that's where the clitoris should be right like like if i'm a woman and i and i
have an extra clitoris that's where it's going in the roof of her mouth yeah if i'm a guy and i could have a clitoris that's where we go
yeah yeah now i want that sir so by that measure kyle wants the head of his dick in his mouth
absolutely all the time constantly why don't you like did you want a dick in your mouth
i want my dick in my mouth uh you gotta be all choosy about it. I mean, you can put yours in there as long as I get to feel it.
How about –
I don't know how you get to feel my dick for sure.
You know what, Kyle?
It's worth a try.
Let's go.
You're only thinking about external clitori.
Throw them like in your stomach so then food eating becomes more pleasant oh that's what i need
beverage and you're oh you know it feels a little nice oh my god i'd be woody of redemption now
every shit is fantastic you're looking forward to it you know these are ideas folks i didn't say
good one but i said ideas you're could get a clit like...
Ah, you know,
there really aren't very many good places.
Or, I got one.
One right next to your heart, so when you...
Every time your heart beats, you get like,
oh yeah, you know?
But then when you start exercising,
it goes faster, you know?
Hey, look at that!
Guys, we solved obesity today.
Okay.
That's one of the benefits of being a girl. A lot of
girls will come when they're riding a bike
or especially if they're riding like an exercise
bike or something. I've known women
that can come just
in classroom by like
scooching forward and applying pressure
with their jeans. Sure.
That's not something guys can pull off.
If I try to come in class,
I get sent to the principal's office.
At least the second time they did that.
Masturbated history once.
Masturbated history twice.
Ain't gonna beat off in here again.
Well, I'm glad that you had that whole penis removal topic,
because this one just fits right into it like a goddamn Lego piece.
Florida man, love anything that begins that way,
bites his brother's penis off
after he walks in on his brother having sex
with his cousin
on his favorite
Dragon Ball Z
blanket. That's, every
word of that is
necessary for that
to really convey its full meaning.
And yet every word is incredibly
hilarious. There's no fad on that.
It was both of their cousins he was fucking on that it wasn't it was both of
their cousins he was fucking right of course it was both their cousins he's not necessarily mad
because this his brother's fucking his cousin he's mad because they're fucking on his dragon
ball z blanket now if any of us have ever had a prized possession fucked upon not the you can
imagine man the the outrage that that would go through the rage the you'd be incensed you would
be driven perhaps even to bite your brother's cock off.
Have you noticed that his mugshot has blood all over his face?
I bet that's
erection blood. And then I also
like how in his mugshot, he's still got those
two little ant antenna
hair things going on.
Like, clearly, he
wasn't biting hard enough
to, like, it was just thrashing his head around, because that's
still pretty erect. He's got all that blood on his face, like, it was just thrashing his head around, because that's still pretty erect.
He's got all that blood on his face, though, and I love this.
He was arrested yesterday and said that he regrets nothing.
This way, it will never, ever happen again.
Holy shit.
Well, hopefully this guy goes away for the rest of his life.
Guys, I have a burning question.
This is insane.
I have a burning question here, guys.
I have a burning question.
This is insane.
I have a burning question here, guys.
Do you think he ran in, saw what happened, and went straight for the dick, still all hard and stuff?
Or do you think he waited, had an argument for five minutes, and then went to the sloppy dick and made it up? in and was so enraged by the fact that Goku or whoever the fuck character from that show
now had vaginal excretions all over it come that he just went straight for it.
I like to imagine that like he was, you know, they were in her riding, her riding him and
he comes up from behind and bites the area of cock between the balls and where her pussy is.
You know, the way you'd bite into like a corn cob.
So there you go.
That's what I'm imagining.
I very much doubt that he throated his brother and then did the biting.
According to this, the penis was completely destroyed.
Yeah, I love this.
It doesn't even say that.
It puts it worse.
I was waiting for that.
His brother was hospitalized with several injuries and might never use his dick again
because it was completely destroyed.
Who wrote this?
Like some high school kid?
Yeah.
Yeah, the doctor's doing everything they can
to reconstruct it.
Yeah.
Dick got pumped.
Thank you.
What if he ate it?
What if he ate it?
What if he was like, go?
It's completely destroyed. He might have.
All credits to at CNN Miami.
Did they write this originally?
Guys, I don't think it's a real
article. No. Stop.
I don't like to do this, Quev.
You just go with it. Just go with it.
Okay, guys, I just realized
it is a CNN
Twitter. Yeah, CNN Miami. It's true, guys, I just realized it is a CNN Twitter.
Yeah, CNN Miami.
It's true, guys.
This is real news.
Sorry, guys, I'm ruining the fun here.
Chiz, I want you to reach out to these people.
I want the cousin, the brother, the cockfighter, any of them that you can get.
We need to speak to these people.
Now, this is the kind of guest you pay.
All right?
This is the kind of guest that you shell out 400 bucks or something for.
Oh, you don't have a camera?
We're going to have to get you a camera.
I don't want this guy or his brother, though.
You're only going to get spin.
I want the cousin that was there so she can tell us the truth.
We're going to do a deep dive on the important issues, folks. And that's how this guy got his cock bitten off on top of a Goku blanket.
Yes.
Yes.
And how did she allow that to happen?
Look, there were two of them and one of him.
You would think that, like, your cousin, especially, would help defend you if someone's trying to bite your cock off.
Look, there's no way you could bite my cock off, Taylor.
There's no way you could do it.
I wouldn't allow it.
I'm not going to try.
I know you're not, but I'm just saying.
Dude, with my masseter muscles, that's going to be clipped like a baby carrot.
Oh, hock.
No, I would not.
But I know what you're saying.
The dimensions of having to get down there and attack the cock,
you feel like that guy could just kick him right in the forehead.
He would have to not be unconscious.
Because if I've got your head right here, I can do some serious damage.
It's like the perfect place for your head to be if I'm going to beat on you.
And look, if I sense that you're going for the cock,
like if you're like, you got that reflex, you know?
Like if you're chomping away like
like taking snaps at it now the gloves are off now i'm gouging eyes now i'm like getting nostrils
like a three stooges i'll reach into your mouth with fingers if it's going to protect little jimmy
all right like like we gotta take you'll you'll go into a uh a defensive cock attack position. Yes. You'll be like, I didn't want to do this.
Ah!
I tuck my cock between my legs like that scene from Silence of the Lambs,
and we do battle until only one man is left standing at that point.
There's no way I'm letting someone bite my cock off.
If a girl scrapes it with her fucking teeth, it's like, ah!
God damn!
If you're fucking and it comes out a little
and then like hits her and like the like like out of the pubic bone the not pussy area yeah it's
like oh oh she's like oh sorry sorry it's like yeah it's all right just get let's take let's
take let's take five let's take five doesn't that take you out of it so quick some it depends how
hard you get a decently hard one it depends on how hard your erection is how hard you... Well, a decently hard one. It depends on how hard your erection is,
how hard you're fucking,
and how squarely you hit the pubic bone.
But if all of these levels are up to five,
which is the maximum levels for each of those things,
then it is fucking excruciating.
You have to check on your dick.
That's how you know it's bad.
If you have to be like,
all right, it looks fine.
I can't even relate to this. Am I fucking wrong? i can relate it's possible i can't completely yeah it's possible
i haven't figured this out yet guys i have like this much and you know for it to come out you
have to like i have to really reach back you know what i mean to be honest normally it's like this
always i never get close 60, my girl's hollow.
The problem we do have sometimes is the whole cervix hitting thing.
Like, that takes her out of it, and it's apologies and shit.
Like, I joke, but I don't think my penis is all that large.
I've seen many, many dicks in many, many locker rooms.
But, yeah, I do have the other issue where it doesn't come out.
It's where I hit the bottom.
Yeah, some girls like it when you hit their cervix. Some girls absolutely hate it.
But, yeah, I definitely like...
Got to find one that likes it.
Well, I'm sort of locked in and not a fan.
Preferably, or you're going to be really terrible during...
Sort of locked in here.
Yeah, yeah.
I've cast those die.
Fingers crossed.
Oh, yeah, that horrific accident.
Hypothetical single Woody's going to be a baller.
We're going to hook you up on Tinder.
Bumble.
See, I get plenty of fish, motherfucker.
Can you see him on plenty of fish
with that badass helmet in his paramotor?
Oh!
I don't know.
Sliding into your DMs like,
jeez.
Did you see Fousey bragging, or Fousey,y I mean to say bragging about the girls in his dms
he's like
that was lame as shit
like never do that
never do that no one like I don't care who
it is that's quote unquote in your fucking
dms never do that
it's probably
BS probably BS
and even if it wasn't right even if it wasn't like
like if it's like i don't know name a person that that's hot i don't know if jessica alba is
literally in his dms or something like that whatever you would never say that that's so low
class like there's no way you can say that and for anyone except for a teenage boy to be like oh he's
so cool no you just you just you just made yourself look like such a low-class piece of shit.
What if you just named someone in your DMs
who everyone would expect to be in your
DMs? Like, my wife
is in my DMs, bitch. My wife's
in my DMs. She checks
on me to see if I'm going to be home in time for
dinner. What you know about
pot roast, motherfucker?
Nobody from PKA
except for Chiz is in my DMs.
No, that's not true.
I hit you up every time.
I'm like, Queb, can you translate this?
And you're like, that's not even my language, Woody.
He's a fucking idiot.
He sent me over this paramotor whatever video.
I didn't watch it.
And it's like some German.
He's like, hey, do you know what language this is you know what he
says at the end and i'm like i'm like googling everything for you and then googling his name
google because it's last name or whatever and then i figured out that that was like a
an austrian or whatever whatever we discovered and i was like oh here you go if it was in text
i'd have translated the uh people
don't know it's a video and at the very end the guy says something excited this is my favorite
paramotor video in the world and i've seen it like 600 times when i had a broken leg i just sat there
and played it on repeat sometimes 40 or 50 times in a row and uh yeah it's i like this video and uh
at the very end he says something in a foreign language. I don't know what it is.
As a matter of fact...
I thought it was, like, German, like, south of Germany.
Would it be okay to enlist the...
Like, crowdsource our people and...
Yeah, get it translated.
Yeah.
Is it really Danish?
I don't know.
There's an app you can put on your phone, and you can just play the video. Right? It'll instantly translate for you. Google Translate has Danish? I don't know. There's an app you can put on your phone and you can just play the video
Right?
Google Translate has that now.
It does real live voices?
Yeah.
So you can be anywhere
someone speaking French or whatever and you can
be your universal translator
to use a Star Trek.
I've had it queued up so I'm going to ask these people.
Hold on. Translator it he's a Star Trek. Well, I might have queued up so I'm gonna ask these people hold on
No, he's not frozen no, no, no, I was I was playing it for them. Can I play one more time?
It's like four seconds long.
Ah, okay.
All right. Here we go.
All right. Thank you. Thank you for your patience, everyone.
I'll stop.
So what does it mean?
Yeah, please help me. We want to know.
Yeah, I don't know.
Probably something about the master race or the Jews.
Most likely.
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slash pka i'm curious about the sexual wellness part of this because i was talking to chis the
other day and i was regaling him with the story of me taking some of those rhino 60k
and uh those gas station dick pills and i took two of them and i had the worst fucking headache
it was so bad like like i took them at like 2 p.m the girl left at like i don't know 7 p.m or
something like that i slept all through i went to bed immediately because my head's just pounding
pulsating with with pain the next day i was like hung over and it still ached a little
it was so goddamn bad like it's already chinese bootleg herbs and chemicals that shit is viagra
that shit is viagra in there like like i'm i'm fucking certain of it because like i get all the
same symptoms that i've gotten when i've taken viagra in the past like you have extreme light
sensitivity white light appears to have a bit of a blue look to it
and it has
I don't know how to describe it, but like
an aura around it. When you look at just a
regular light bulb in your house.
Every single bulb
you look at has a halo around it.
It's so bright because your pupils are
dilated.
This Viagra engorges your blood vessels.
It's like when you leave
the eye doctor when they put those yellow drops in your eyes i've never had that it's probably
not that bad but it is so bad that you turn all the lights off in the house and you don't want
to watch television and i love watching television it's it's it's fucking awful so i'm kind of uh
i'm considering contacting these people about about their dick. I don't know if that... What did they call it? Their sexual wellness
alternatives.
Excuse me.
Chiz, see if you can have them
send us some sexual wellness
pills. Yes.
And we'll test those out.
Yeah. Definitely not dick
pills. That's very crass.
They don't deal in dick pills. They deal in sexual
wellness supplements. They're classy. They're classy, yeah. They are very crass. They don't deal in dick pills. They deal in sexual wellness supplements. They're classy.
They're classy, yeah.
They are not white trash.
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It's funny.
How does it go?
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But just because a sense of style seems elusive for some doesn't mean it's impossible to attain.
Like, man, a little on the nose there, Kyle.
I didn't write this about but jizz did dude be cool
so yeah maybe i need to contact my boys over here i'm a fan i i felt like they sent me some
here's the thing like sometimes like if you've got a
girl shopping with you or if you're at like a Macy's or um a really nice department store and
there's someone who works in that part of the the area like a stylist or uh you know I I guess
you're getting commissioned they'll often like pick things out for you that you're like you would
never wear like like some weird color or something or some some some pants
that you just never wear that style but then when you try them on when you put the whole outfit on
together it's like oh shit this actually does look really nice i would have never picked this
out for myself so yeah stitchfix.com pka uh i really like everything they sent me they sent
me a bunch of uh button-up shirts and uh some pants and uh i was i was a big fan of everything I got.
Yep.
High quality stuff, reasonable price.
Well, let's watch this little clip here.
Now, what I believe this is,
I never played Metal Gear Solid,
but I am aware of the whole theme song and how it worked when he'd be sneaking around
and how the music would change when he got discovered,
and all that stuff.
So that's part of this.
This is basically a botched convenience store robbery
with that Metal Gear Solid music.
And in this one, I think you've got two perpetrators.
You've got a guy and a girl.
And I think that's all we need.
I watched this earlier and laughed my ass off.
I'm queued up at
0-1. Cool.
I'm ready. Ready, set, play.
This shirtless white male is just running
around. He's already clearly in panic.
Yeah.
The cops have arrived.
Oh, he's grabbing some peanuts.
Is he going to throw some sunflower seeds at him?
He has decided against the sunflower toss.
And he's getting down to, like, a push-up position,
like, face on the ground.
The cop has a taser pointed at him.
The cop tries to, like, grab his wrist.
I think he wanted to cuff him.
Yeah, yeah. And the guy, like, reacts really aggressively, and his girlfriend's kind of hovering around
in the background.
Now the guy's up, tries to punch the cop, and immediately gets tased at point-blank
range and dropped like a goddamn mummy.
Girlfriend's still hovering.
What is her plan there?
Is the front door busy?
Yeah, the people are there.
Girlfriend's getting the ground to dig down.
Someone's standing in.
Oh, he got away from the cop are there. Someone's standing in.
Oh, he got away from the cop!
And the cop's taser is already fired.
The cop gets him.
He can still use it as a stun gun, but it won't be as easy.
Uh oh, girl's in the back room.
She's sneaking around the Gatorade entrance.
Alright, Raider hotness scale.
I'll hide right by the camera.
I would say she's pretty fit.
Oh, I love this.
She's in the vents now.
She's in the vents.
She's crawling with the ventilation ducts.
And they're editing in the Metal Gear Solid
like duck crawling footage.
So it's really funny.
You can see like ammo.
Oh no!
She fell through the ceiling and smashed her ass
on the condoms and motor oil.
She lost a shoe and now she's giving up.
Who's that?
Oh, wah, wah, wah.
Snake, answer me.
Snake.
Snake.
That's hilarious.
It didn't seem like they had a plan.
All right.
I'm going to run in to run into the back immediately.
They won't suspect me because I won't have a shirt on.
And then I'm going to sprint around the soft drinks
for a bit. You dilly dally.
And then I'll run out when the cops arrive.
I've got sunflower seeds and I'm not afraid to use them.
Like a cartoon
where he throws them all in his mouth.
He just...
It's all rapid fire.
Oh, man.
It's got to be a lot lower stress
being a Canadian cop
going to a response.
You know?
Yeah.
I want to be like,
that's just a stereotype.
But no, I bet that's generally true.
There's far fewer firearms there.
Oh, I thought you were going to say something else.
Oh. Far fewer firearms there. I thought you were going to say something else. No, I wasn't even thinking that.
But now you made me think it, you jerk.
That's hilarious.
I was just suggesting there's more criminals there.
Yeah.
Fewer criminals.
Fewer criminals.
I think I know one Canadian
and it's Wolf.
You only know one
Canadian? In person?
Oh, sour.
And the list is short.
And Harley.
Yep, that's true.
Harley is Canadian.
Okay, maybe I just... We're already past this a bit but I had to link
this other Instagram I found
of this dude who also
had the genital removal
surgery and his entire
body is tattooed
black
for the most part
he's not black? no's a just an insane person
apparently uh who is tattooed all black and he like said oh i i guess he survived cancer
and to celebrate surviving cancer he just was gonna just chop his genitals off and he said
that the aesthetics of his genitals were ruining
the way his body looked like the art he was going for and so he went to no nobody in the u.s or
canada i surmise would do it because they're like no we don't just hack off body parts willy-nilly
that's kind of terrible and then they so he went to mexico maybe to the same guy Wings used to get his nice...
He became a eunuch.
Can you imagine how painful the tattooing alone was?
People talk about, oh, this part of your body
is sensitive. This part of your body really hurts.
Oh, elbows? Yeah, that's really painful.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. This guy got every
fucking square inch of his body
tattooed. Not just a little.
That's everything you see
right he might have like his his back might just be open because his eyeballs yeah i saw them yeah
i think that's contacts you can't really like surgically do anything to your eyes i wouldn't
i don't think you can tattoo your eyes just you might go blind but hey well he's going for an
aesthetic here see this guy like like it's easy to write him off as just, oh, it's, you know, just craziness, but
when people do shit like this, you just gotta feel
bad, in a way. And I would say the
tattooing was probably cheap. What I was
thinking... The tattooing was probably very cheap.
Like, I...
The tattooing makes him seem crazy to me,
but when you said he removed
a generalist because they're ruining his aesthetic,
I thought, yeah,
they kind of do, though.
Guys, he's not fully tattooed.
But look at the aesthetic he has
to ruin. He's just tattooed himself
entirely black. Yeah, but come on.
Junk is
junk, right? They call it bumping uglies.
They kind of ruin our aesthetic as well.
Come on, right? A little?
I got a pretty cock.
Get out of here. Just a cock, but like there are very few pretty scrotums.
Goddamn magnificent.
Fair point.
That is true.
They're smooth like eggs.
I just think that my cock and balls might be ruining my aesthetic as well.
Well, I'm remembering them.
I'm recalling them.
They were so smooth.
You had a point. And none of those little veins just
yeah that's glorious that's pretty sad there's no better word than glorious glorious
yeah well anyway yeah i went on a little uh internet you know this guy is great i guess internet stroll to a fucked up neighborhood.
Oh, he has some
inverse tattoos on his
shoulders.
I can barely show them to
people. Are they
lewd? No, it's
that Instagram centers
the photo. Oh, I can maybe shrink
the whole browser and show it better.
Sometimes that works. There we go. You can see he's a white dude by the his traps because they're
small let me see i don't i don't know instagram that well does this link work for you yeah
god he looks like a fucking abomination you know know, that's just racist. You don't like black people.
I don't like...
No, I don't like fake black people.
I hate them.
I hate fake black people.
We should be lynching them.
That's who we need to be going after.
Oh, sure.
When it's Robert Downey Jr., you're all fine with it.
Chiz just...
Oh, Robert Downey Jr. killed people.
This looks like just like...
I'm sorry, everybody.
I got him going again.
Chiz just beat me to the punch here.
I was about to ask Chiz,
Chiz, if Sam and Dean from Supernatural
came across this guy at their local pizza hut,
would they even take a moment before they shot him?
They'd be looking for silver bullets
and fucking angel oil or some shit
to make sure he stayed down.
You can tell he's a demon because as you know demons
don't have genitals or do they i don't know i'm making stuff sam and dean would be like let's say
let's kill him and dean would go i don't know i like his aesthetic it's a very nice aesthetic
he's really achieved what he's going for there i don't i don't know if they'd be on board no demons
uh in the supernatural universe do have genitals
because they are corrupted human beings
and they're all in the
vessel of a human being.
They're like black smoke that
goes inside of a human person who, of course,
would have genitals.
Unless they embodied
this gentleman over here, in which case
they would have... I don't think the demons
would inhabit this guy. They'd go, not too obvious.
Yeah, right? I'm trying to blend in.
I'm going to pick a priest.
I'm going to pick somebody a little more
under the radar. No, they're going to pick you.
Because you invited them in.
Well, I've already been chosen, Kyle,
by our
satanly father, or whatever the hell
you would call it. Now I'm just waiting
until the day that he shows up. He gives me the dark lord came to you and he said taylor
i heard your prayers um i'm the guy who actually responds to prayers by the way i don't know if
you've noticed you didn't get the 14 inch penis when you were 16 never happened big man upstairs
never came through to you you've never once the lottery, and how many times have you prayed for that?
I'm here, all right?
And he wants to work out some kind of a deal
where for some compensation of some kind,
he takes over your body for eight hours a day.
What does he give me?
Whatever you want, my son.
I have to give him eight hours a day?
Eight hours a day.
Do I get to watch it like a TV show from my eyes,
or do I just black out and that's it?
You're basically inside your skull in a recliner, like that Dark Mirror episode, just watching.
Dark Mirror.
So only eight hours when you're awake.
So you only get half the time you're awake, conscious.
Can he do the work hours?
Four sleeping hours, four waking hours.
He is going to handle your work hours.
You'll be quitting your job, but don't worry.
The devil makes a good living, okay?
And he has no interest in material goods.
You get to keep all that.
That's now your bank account.
Hell yeah.
Well, you know, the biggest problem is if Satan shows up,
I'm going to be like, oh no, this is all real,
and I'm about to join the side that loses.
I've read the book.
I know the ending.
I'm not going to join your team.
I've heard this song, maybe, and you just lose the fiddle of gold.
It's not that big a deal.
Yeah, I would not.
I wouldn't accept it because I'd become a Christian.
The devil lost the fiddle.
I'd try and fool him.
I'd be like, yeah, Satan.
And we hate God, the Jewish one.
No, he's made up.
The Jesus.
You hate Jesus.
Oh, yeah.
What I was saying.
Jesus.
Okay.
Write that down.
I'm going to church tomorrow.
That's what you have to do.
Get some clarification on who you need to pray to for forgiveness for all this nonsense.
The Mormons. Really? Okay.
Joseph Smith!
Fuck me?
Alright. I'm a fool.
I'm gonna get myself a couple extra wives and move
to Utah.
Give me some of that strong drink.
Hey.
You wouldn't want that. You wouldn't want to make a pact
with Satan unless you were like
totally clear that he'd already killed God or something.
Yeah, I think.
He seems like the kind of person that would lie about that.
He is known as the deceiver of man.
So I'm not sure if you can believe him and take him at his word.
But I think I'd hop on board.
You know, I know a winner when I see one.
God is always talking about how he always wins and how powerful he is.
That sounds like someone who's bloviating to me, someone with a little bit of insecurity.
Okay?
You know?
Oh, pray to me, sing to me, worship me.
I'm a jealous God.
I'm a vengeful God.
I'm a wrathful God.
This is someone with an insecurity complex, okay?
This is someone who's not as powerful as he
claims to be. I think
you want to hop on the Satan side of this thing, because
he may very well win. He seems much more
creative. I mean, I'm definitely
going to hell anyway, so I may as well have a
first-class seat, right? You think he
put you in a nicer part of hell if you were on his
team? Like, oh, it's not even hot here. Yeah, it's
kind of balmy, but... If he put me in, like, the part of hell if you were on his team like oh it's not even hot here yes it's kind of balmy but if he put me in like the corner of hell that like wasn't like burning and
fire it was like like omaha yeah like or something like that where it's just there's not a lot to do
like i would i would be okay with that did you like that no boys no i just i just tried to pick
like a random place that not a lot goes on.
It's hell, but it's not endless torture.
It's just a shitty place to be.
All the sodas are flat.
The internet's slow.
Game of Thrones doesn't come out for another thousand years.
Food is always over under seasoned like little things every
movie you could ever want to watch but it's the edited for tv version where they've cut major
scenes and and and like they change words like shit to shoot and motherfucker to to what do
they change mother trucker mother trucker yeah see you have not felt pain and anguish until you've heard Sam Jackson say,
Say Mother Trucker again!
Say Mother Trucker again one more time!
Just takes you right out of it.
Just takes you right out of it.
Oh, your hell, Kyle?
You'd have to be on a leafy greens diet
where you'd have to eat a lot of vegetables every day.
In Kyle's hell, there's nothing to drink but water.
But it's not even cold water.
It's not still water.
It's like sparkling water,
but it's been sitting out for four hours,
so it's not the pleasant kind.
Do I get my Olive Garden salad dressing?
Oh, just enough to want more.
Shit!
I ordered the Olive Garden salad dressing because I love it so much it's my favorite i love salads now i i'm eating i i love them olive garden salad dressing
is so good it's only like i don't know 40 calories per tablespoon i put like two tablespoons i i i
love my salad when i have salad i'm hungry again Maybe in hell, the Stanley Cup will always be won by the Blues
to torture the other team's fan base people who are in hell.
So this could turn up.
I like to think in hell the Blues win every President's Cup,
but get knocked out in the first round of the playoffs.
They'll have to trade around the hate, you know.
Well, which team has the smallest fan base?
Maybe they win every year.
Hurricanes, bitches.
Carolina with their 3200th consecutive Stanley Cup.
Guys, Ryanair.
Has anybody ever heard of Ryanair?
I've heard of them.
As a European, you can travel throughout Europe pretty much for less than 50 bucks per flight sometimes
But it's it's not with like a good airliner it's with these these horrible airliners such as Ryanair
But you get to travel for really cheap, right?
but then
this thing happened where I have one of the one of the
pilots
decided to drop the plane a little bit too fast because they just put like they
Really underpay these pilots like if you're if you're a pilot for a good airline
You can make it good amount of money, but with Ryanair, you're getting trash, right?
So you have an unexperienced pilot who flies like a basic plane,
and he makes a little mistake,
and apparently people started bleeding from their ears.
I don't think he made a mistake.
What happened there?
He was at 30,000 feet.
The cabin got depressurized, so he had to quickly drop to 10,000 feet.
So it was like just their shitty plane.
Yeah.
So then it was their shitty plane.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Fair enough.
Fair enough.
Okay.
So there you go.
The Ryanair messed up.
I don't know.
You guys have never flown with Ryanair, but it's the worst.
You get no leg room.
You might have a three, four hour long flight, but you have to pay for food, which is overpriced.
Are you spoiled by good flights?
Hey, you know, yeah, totally.
I actually have this great story about my first Ryanair flight.
Yeah.
For this brand deal, for Black Ops 2, it was, I believe, or Black Ops 3, Black Ops 3 maybe.
Whatever. Whatever we're on um i got hit up by this agent and he says hey jordy listen i got this black ops brand deal for
you uh it's not paid but you get to fly in a private jet with afrojack like a big dj at the
time to switzerland right so I was like sure you
know who else is gonna come up so me and a bunch of buddies a youtuber buddies we
fly in this private jet for two hours it was a crazy experience pretty much a
plane you see right here but then a private jet version right and we fly to
Switzerland or whatever he performs all good you know I fly to Switzerland or whatever. He performs all good.
You know, I fly to Milan for another thing I was invited to.
And then I didn't check.
Kanye.
And then I check and, like, I didn't think of it,
but I completely forgot the flight back to Amsterdam.
It wasn't going to be on a private jet it was with ryanair
so i just went from the best flight of my life i've only flown private once and that was the
time the best flight of my life right to the shittiest flight you can ever have and it was
like two hours delayed i was hung over you're sitting there like this in between
200 guys you have no leg room you're hungry and then they're like well sorry you know we only
take cash and you know it's it's just horrible it's just horrible uh but yeah that's right there
for you so you wouldn't do it again i wouldn't do it again i i'd like i'd rather pay double for you know the same
same time travel time but with a good airliner but sometimes you need to go to some place in
some country and ryanair is the only one that flies there i flew recently and i always fly
delta because i have miles um i don't got like 350 000 miles or something now don't they expire
every year am i crazy not not delta no you're something now. Don't they expire every year? Am I crazy? Not with Delta.
No, your rank resets every year.
You become like a platinum member.
And then it goes gold.
Yeah, I don't really care about that part because it's mostly –
for the most part, I think you get like the Sky Lounge
and you get to board a little sooner.
And I'm always the guy who's like just sitting there in the terminal
like reading
on my phone or laptop and there's they're like i might be zone one but i'll just get on at zone
four like the plane's not gonna leave any faster if i've been sitting in that little seat a little
longer like i'll just chill out here there's a room for your luggage if you're late i don't i
don't bring a carry-on i just check everything yeah i just check everything it's so like when
i stopped bringing um carry-, it was so liberating.
Not to have that roller bag with you, not to have to worry about the space,
and then getting it out when it's time and not hitting anyone in the head.
To just be able to get up from your seat and start going.
If you only have a carry-on, that's nice too, because you don't even have to go to bag.
Totally.
That's what I like to try and do.
Just keep it in the two little carry-ons.
But I'm sitting there
and i've got my noise canceling headphones on and they really do a good job but i could hear a voice
two rows back this guy talking to a girl and i recognize his voice because he was super annoying
like in the little ramp onto the plane like he was just chatting about random shit about
about where he was from and he was like uh i heard this word that made me cue into him and I had to take the headphones off.
I heard the word skinwalker.
Now, does anyone here know what a skinwalker is?
Is it a nudist?
I'm going to Google it.
No, it's one of those things that people believe
that a spirit from the forest or whatever
is going to inhabit someone's body
and then walk around as them
and fool you into something, right quite not quite it is basically a shapeshifter it is a
person who can take on the form of another person and or animal and or some sort of a beast okay
they and and i know this because of supernatural they're in supernatural there's like maybe 15
different kinds of monsters that exist, right?
There's angels and demons and werewolves and vampires,
and there are skinwalkers.
They're one of the group, ghouls and such.
I hear the word skinwalker, and I'm like,
what?
What's going on here?
I take off my headphones, and I start listening to this guy tell his story
to this stranger behind me.
He's like, yeah, yeah, I came home.
I was locked out of my parents' house.
So I went around the back and let myself in.
And I heard this screech, this scream.
Like a...
Pretty good.
Exactly. I am the skinwalker.
It sounded like a baby in distress, but also angry. And I looked,
I turned around and I saw the red glowing eyes by the fence in the backyard. And it was a naked man.
And he was rapidly transforming into a wolf. And when he became a wolf, in a matter of 20 seconds,
he leapt over the fence and fled and i never saw him again
but yeah it was a skinwalker they're real and the girl was trolling him so fucking hard that i was
i had to get the attention of like my seat mate and be like tune in there's a show behind us
forget about the sky mall like forget about the like the flight recommendations no this is the
show right here she's like oh wow wow that's really interesting have you ever seen anything
else unusual like that and this is when i turn around and make eye contact with her
and she looks at me like
you know what was predictable about it is Those kind of people you never go,
did you ever experience anything else like that?
They never go, nah, just the one thing.
Just the one time.
Well, this one time my fridge just opened.
There was a rat in there
and it shape-shifted and it turned into a rat.
He was like, well,
another time I was at my
parents' house and I'm like, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Your parents' house is ground zero
for some serious paranormal activity.
Area 51 right there. Right?
I put the bread in the toaster, pushed it down,
and then on its own,
it's just pretty toast.
I was just out back.
I was out back looking at the sky at night,
and these lights came down.
It was a UFO.
But it wasn't a plane. It was aliens. Because lights came down. It was a UFO. But it wasn't a plane.
It was aliens.
Because they came down at like the speed of light.
They were in space.
And then they were in my backyard virtually just hovering over the house, spinning real slow with three red lights on the bottom.
It was the most afraid I've ever been.
She's like, wow, that's crazy.
Do you believe in any conspiracy theories i like this
girl and that's when the girl next to me starts laughing we're all listening to this jackass now
tell this ridiculous story and he starts going on about kennedy and and reptiles and and the whole
flight he was back there talking horse shit the The whole flight. Like over two hours.
Like every time I checked back in, there was
a new like monster
to deal with or a new government
conspiracy or galactic overlords
or something. Like this guy was
a maniac
back there telling these ridiculous stories.
Should have been like, hey,
I overheard what you were saying. Wanted to introduce myself.
I'm the skinwalker you ran into at your parents house remember that wolf yep that's me
ah what a what a retarded man yeah i think he was just bullshitting people like to like you
you could have really freaked him out because he wouldn't have thought you heard him and then at
one point like he's walking out and you just walk over to him and
just whisper in his ear and go you're not allowed to tell anybody about the skinwalkers ever again
don't question this and they just walk off right like my my overlords told me to tell you this
you know too much you know it just walks up and he's his life at that point is gonna do a 180 and he's gonna change everything based on that.
My heart has stood in the shadows for a millennia.
And here you are on Delta Airline Flight 562 telling Stephanie all of our dark secrets.
Would you like to be fed to the great abomination?
You should have done it.
You will devour your soul.
would you like to be fed to the great abomination you should have done it
you will devour your soul
it's like sometimes
sometimes I'm like
I overhear a conversation and I'm like
I feel like just whispering
something in their ear and then they're like
whoa like how did you know that or something
like that right and they just freak them
out yeah should do it
next time
if you actually try that you're gonna wake up to like the sawing
feeling of an airplane plastic fork like up against your the side of your neck as this guy
tries to kill you and be the hero on the plane he might follow me to the bathroom and stab me with
with silver it's it's a it's a risky take it's a risky take no you do it when everybody's leaving
the plane and then you know you gotta, you got to go through security.
What is he going to do?
You know, that's my least favorite part about plane rides, honestly, is that you land and it's like ding, ding.
And everybody stands up.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I'll be off.
They're like, oh, we got to get our stuff.
We got to get our stuff.
And then you're there for another 10 minutes standing there.
Another 20 minutes.
You know what I don't like?
It takes way too long.
If I have the aisle seat and there's nowhere to go,
you can't go anywhere, right?
Keep in mind, I'm not punishing the window seater.
I can't go anywhere either.
And then they're standing like this.
Yes, they're standing like that.
And I'm under your head in this scenario, right?
Like, they can't stand straight up.
They have to put their head towards the aisle.
And it's like bro just hurry up
i got cake in my bag yeah like you know look man i can't stand this way very long
that was completely your choice nobody's going anywhere it's stupid it's it's people who haven't
flown enough to realize that like look for some reason they're gonna they're gonna empty out a
certain way and and you can see when the line's
getting to us. Like, look, you can't even
see the next person who's actually
getting off the plane. Everyone's just standing in a fucking
line. It doesn't make any sense.
So, what pisses
me off is, like, I always gauge
my standing by the people behind me
because you always have the sneaky fuckers
who will, like, be four rows behind you and, like,
move in forward.
And it's like, no, no, no.
This isn't happening, fucker.
Learn how lines work.
And then I'll stand up and block the way so nobody from behind my row can get in.
If I'm on the aisle.
If not, I'm not going to be like, let me come and crawl over you to block the aisle.
But what I also hate is when people let the line get all the way to them.
And then they stand up and start gathering their shit.
And then there's just an empty corridor.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You saw the line so slowly approaching us.
Seize the gap!
Yeah, seize the gap!
Like, that's what you need to do.
Here's a no-win situation.
Just let them pass, and then you're shit.
Maybe you guys know the answer to this.
Fat cow!
While loading, the spot above me, not available for the carry-on.
So it had to go behind me a little bit.
Now, like, that line is stuck.
I can't just easily retrieve it.
What, do I need to back up the whole plane by six feet?
Yeah.
There should be two exits.
Like, I'm frustrated by the fact that there's only one exit.
I mean, you went through this whole briefing where you showed me all those slides that can pop out potentially and all those ways to go out the top of the plane.
It should just be Mr. Gadget Hat out, and then we should all exit whatever one we want.
Let me roll the window down or something.
If you're over the age of 65, you should have to remain seating until all of the young virile producers are out of the plane and then
you can slowly get your old asses up and you know meander about oh is this my purse i think that's
gretchen's i'll meet her in the in the terminal you know that kind of shit if they would all wait
just it'd be a you know i got one i got one for you guys okay so one of my buddies, he's a big guy, right?
And he was on the plane, and the plane landed.
Everybody was about to leave the plane.
And he gets his bag.
He's ready.
He's waiting.
And this lady, she's struggling to try and get her bag, right?
So he has, like, the big guy he is and
super nice super sweet guy he grabs the he grabs her bag right and puts it on the floor and then
the lady starts giving him shit for grabbing the bag he should have taken her bag and just like
don't you think i could have done that on my own?
You know, you're a sexist.
This blah, blah, blah, feminism, blah, blah, blah.
What do you guys think?
Was he right?
Who is right here in this situation?
He's fine.
If you're moving stuff to get it out of the way, you're fine.
You're trying to expedite the situation for everyone.
She's a bitch for starting an argument in public like that.
Well, people just want to get off the plane. Nobody to hear your shit nobody cares get off the plane because there's
a guy like i'm sure if somebody wants to help me yeah you do the do the lifting if you can reach
it better if i'm struggling i only want people to help me right yeah it's like uh what is when
newman is in jurassic park what's he say to that other guy when they're handing off the Barbasol can?
He's like, hey, this guy, this guy works for the FBI.
This guy works for the FBI.
See, nobody cares.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
They're all sitting around.
That's what it is.
Like, those people just need to be told, like, listen, just because you got a lot of likes on your last Facebook post from your retard friends doesn't mean the rest of us who have shit to do in real life give a fuck.
Just pick up your bag and leave.
What is this, Twitch?
It's got music.
So it's unfortunately not the greatest topic.
But goddamn, this is good.
This is a Korean streamer.
And for his new English-speaking viewers,
he sings John Denver, Take Me Home Country Road.
I guess he's got a karaoke set up. He's
incredible! He's incredible!
He clearly isn't an English speaker.
So when he gets to a lyric like
Shenandoah River, he's never
seen the word Shenandoah. To him
that must look like some crazy long
Korean name or something would to
us. He's like, whoa! He's like,
Shenandoah River?
But otherwise, he's got like a like a deep uh smooth voice like my lab and it's it's incredibly entertaining like it's it's not it's a shitty topic i apologize because we can't you know
there's music or whatever but anyone played it in three second bursts. I hope that's okay. They got a vibe for it for sure.
Like you said.
Google Charming Joe
welcomes English viewers after host.
You'll get it.
I found it very entertaining.
I like that a lot.
That's cool.
See, this is the good part of Twitch.
Where were his boobs?
No titties.
This guy's a whore. This guy's not a whore.
This guy's a performer.
Wrong site.
Goddamned artist over here.
Making bones off areolas.
I was going to say, if he was an artist, he'd be cutting off his nipples.
Yes, true art.
What a douche.
I can't get over that.
Yes, true art.
What a douche.
I can't get over that.
Where it's like, I want to be an artist,
but learning to play the piano or to paint seems hard and time-consuming.
Can I just cut my nipples off
and then get BuzzFeed to write an article on it?
Yeah, I'm going to take the path of least resistance.
Oh, we already talked about the naked farmers.
Did you guys talk about Jeff Bezos
being worth $150 billion?
That is crazy.
That's pretty cool.
I mean, that fluctuates so much.
Can I put it into perspective?
Okay.
So a lot of people, they're striving to become a millionaire, right?
And a millionaire is a lot of money for a lot of people, right?
is a lot of money for a lot of people, right?
And a lot of people, they'll never get to the point where their net worth is higher than a million dollars, right?
Yeah.
To become a billionaire,
you need to become a millionaire a thousand times.
Okay.
150,000 times, to be precise.
If you want to be where Jeff Bezos is at, you need to do it 150,000 times to be precise. If you want to be where Jeff Bezos is at,
you need to do it 150,000 times.
Saving a dollar 150,000 times is kind of hard.
Saving a billion dollars.
Well, you've made $1 before, right?
Now just try doing that 200,000 times.
And you've got a couple hundred grand.
It's simple. To save a billion dollars 150,000 times and you've got a couple hundred grand. It's simple.
To save a million dollars 150,000 times is outrageous.
What I dislike about it, like I think it's awesome.
Good for him.
Amazon is a fantastic, awesome.
I'm a happy customer.
It provides an excellent product and reasonable time.
I love Amazon.
It's great.
I'm happy for him.
What I hate are every time this kind of news comes out about him or gates or buffett or him most recently because he's exploding like you get the the peanut gallery of illiterate morons
chiming in with like yeah but like this guy's worth so much money like he should just be giving
it away like you can't give away 50 billion of those dollars. It's like baffling that people actually think.
It's stupid.
You think he's sitting on $150 billion liquid?
Are you retarded?
Oh, yeah.
He'll give away $50 billion.
Oh, what?
All those Amazon jobs are gone?
Well, yeah.
He had to liquidate all those warehouses and all these manufacturers who sell to America and e-commerce.
They're going under, too.
So those companies are all money.
He would sell his stock to
someone else and lose control of his company.
Yeah, exactly. And then Amazon goes
to shit and then... But what will happen
someday... They're saying,
liquidate this stuff, get rid of that,
and then just give it to...
Another problem you're facing here
is if you look at Bill Gates,
he's been struggling.
He's been giving away money for 20 years now, right?
He's still worth more.
He's been struggling
giving away more money than he
makes every year.
He's making $8 billion.
He's giving away $6 billion.
Yeah, I hate it, guys.
Oh my god.
But I do think that Bezos should
give away a lot. As crazy as this sounds,
there will be a time when he's done at the earning phase.
I'll just go on the Bill Gates model.
Even the Warren Buffett model, he's going to give it away.
Right now, he's accumulating and he's breaking records.
Knock yourself out.
But right now, he wants to work.
There will be a time when he's 65 maybe
and the passion isn't there.
The 5,000th Our Warehouses Aren't Well Air Conditioned article
will come out and he'll be tired of that shit and someone else will take the reins and he'll
slowly divest his amazon as he should because it's all tied up in one place right now but but
about charity like i i love the the idea behind charity obviously right um but if you have this
much money 150 billion dollars one guy has it.
He can do whatever he wants with it, right?
Yep, yep.
Isn't it better to say, okay, I'm going to grab $10 billion.
I'm not going to donate it to charity, but I'm going to create a business which would help people out in the long run, right?
Let's say a business, an educational business, right?
I like this.
So you don't talk about clean water
you give people jobs to dig their own fucking water for example right so he makes the money
right he makes the money sure he's making more money he's starting new businesses but in the
meantime he's helping out a lot of people by doing it yeah like i mean the charity that's
that's how i think that's what he
he wants to do whereas with charity it's like okay you want money here's a million dollars
you want money here's but i'm guessing when they give people clean water they do give people jobs
to clean water right like they're not the local clean water guys out of a job i swear no the local
clean water guy gets hired right that's how they give someone clean no they don't want him they're like what he's just been like blowing holy bubbles in it
i just feel like they hired excavator from three towns over and dig a hole that they would never
be able to hire on their own i don't know how you get clean water exactly so a better example is
what elon musk is doing with spacex right like they're trying to get to one rocket launch every every day
Which would decrease the the the cost of like space travel make it more mainstream
So then what they want to do is they want to use that platform
Which they build up and they made so much money from it spacex is is crazy right now is it profitable
Yeah, I believe so. Very profitable.
Okay.
But obviously they'll invest in more rockets and stuff and research and development.
Anyways, they are now going to use that platform they built to launch satellites in orbit to create like a satellite internet for the entire world.
Right?
That's their plan.
satellite internet for the entire world right that's their plan uh which then means that everybody in the world can tap into that either free or cheap uh internet um and that is kind of
the charity aspect of this very still very profitable business the educational aspect
so i don't think we'll like it because the latency on satellite is oh no yeah we don't care but it's
like the development countries well you're saying developing countries and you're right that's i
think that's a big part of it but i think of mine the lockdown countries right you know north korea
china you know cisco i i know a little bit about their they used to cisco built the great firewall
of china and uh you know this is they all that filtering they do where you can't look up
tiananmen square why can't i pronounce that today yeah you got it um you know you can't look it up
in china like that was cisco's handiwork and uh but you put in satellite and suddenly the internet
is free and open yep yep i uh i think it's really cool what he's doing i i i he feels like a modern
day da vinci or something like that
he's he's a real game changer i i hope spacex really takes off i hope things like asteroid
mining and and uh civilian um space travel you know to get they they quoted like some speed that
you could go from like whatever new york to tokyo or something like that 30 minutes 30 minutes or
something you know that be life-changing.
Although if they ever come up with those... What are those?
It's not a jet.
There's a jet that goes like Mach 8 or something.
Like a single stage to orbit?
SSTO?
No.
Where it's like a jet that can go to space?
It's like a hypersonic jet.
It just goes like 8 times faster.
Yeah, but there's
a problem with that because you're going so fast and still you're still in the in the atmosphere
or like like the resistance so you like you're shaking and almost going deaf so this what what
the bfr does or what elon musk has planned is it's a rocket. It's sending like wherever an airport is. It goes into space.
And now that you're in space, you have no problems.
You can go as fast as you want to go.
And then you just go around the earth and then land.
And then you pretty much spend 30 minutes flying from from Hong Kong to to New York or something.
from uh from hong kong to to new york or something did uh speaking of elon musk did you see he called uh a cave rescuer the uh pedo tweet yes did you see he doubled down on it like trump style
oh did he what no like phillipson i didn't see there yeah i'm gonna try and get it accurate but
it was something like like so he built a submarine to rescue that uh you know
the only soccer team that can't dive right so um so and there is a guy there apparently this guy
is legit he was kind of in charge of of rescuing these kids and he put down elon musk's efforts
in a really big way saying that submarine was ridiculous it couldn't have gotten through all the nooks and crannies. It was rigid. It was always a waste of time, publicity stunt bullshit.
Elon Musk is like, not true. As a matter of fact, we're going to bring it there and we're going to
take it to where they were. And you could practically walk there. I was in that cave
and I didn't see you. I guess they didn't run into each other because it seems they were both
really there. And we're going to go do a mock rescue of where the kids were pedo and uh everyone's
like what like did you just call him a pedo and they're piling on elon musk really weird because
his popularity seems to be either sky high or in the gutter i don't know why and uh entertaining i
like it they said why would you call him a pedo?
And if I remember right, he's like, you know, all these things.
I didn't see this guy.
I did this, whatever.
I bet you $100 it's true.
That was his double down.
Here's what he said.
Oh, go ahead.
How close did I get?
Here are his tweets.
Water level is actually very low and still not flowing.
You could literally have swum to cave five with no gear, which is obvious how the kids got in.
If not true,
then I challenged this dude to show final rescue video,
huge credit to pump and generator team unsung heroes here.
Next tweet.
You know what?
Don't bother showing the video.
We will make one of the mini sub slash pod going all the way to cave five.
No problemo.
Sorry,
pedo guy.
You really did ask for it.
Keep going.
Get the one where he doubles down.
Can you find it? I'm not good at twitter like you are uh that's the last one in the chain that i see
oh because when somebody replies if i call in a way that they like they objected to him calling
him a pedo and then he like says some more and bets that it's true, I think. Chiz is saying that he did apologize.
Yeah, he apologized. He backed
off it, which, you know, that would be
a hard thing to
double down on,
I think, where it's like, no, that Thai rescuer
is a pedophile! That's why he
wanted to get those kids out of there!
He wanted to get into their cave!
I want him to...
I can't think of a word that starts with pedo that he could have gone with,
but I want him to go full Trump and be like,
I forgot the N apostrophe T on that word.
He was at torpedo.
Torpedo.
Oh, my God.
Torpedo.
I said pedo.
I meant torpedo.
Yeah.
Slip of the tongue.
Like he's swimming.
I was on ambient my mistake
hashtag facepalm am i right
oh well played he really is he's he's up and down and up and down he was like the golden boy of the
world for a while when he put that car in space right and he played rocket man maybe like the
audio with it it was incredible he was at the apex everybody was like oh elon like fuck yeah
this guy's the best and then he tweeted that thing about like the media of like oh you know we all
know who's controlling the media and immediately all the media people are like whoa hey you know
you're gonna have to fly a few more cars up there if you want to come back from this one friend
and then and then he like came back from that and they liked him again probably with some space
shit or tesla news i don't know and then down with the pedo thing and now he's probably he's
trending back up again i'm sure yeah so with with elon musk he's he's not just a ceo he's like a
superstar at this point ask any dad over 40 and you Musk is their hero, right?
But what you also
get for that is that if
a Tesla crashes and kills
somebody,
it's in the news everywhere.
Tesla killed, some person died in a
Tesla. But meanwhile, people get
killed in a Volkswagen, a BMW,
a Mercedes.
Nobody cares. But because it's Elon Musk, because he is that superstar, get killed in a volkswagen a bmw stories about honda accord hit somebody nobody cares no but
because it's elon musk because he is that superstar it's like he gets interviewed by
the hollywood fix tmz shit like that right how often do you see tmz interview some other ceo
i want to see him put that semi-trailer thing in space. That would be cool.
Why?
Because it's harder.
I don't know if you know, he's making an electric tractor trailer.
I don't know what else to call it.
You know what I'm talking about.
He's already sold many of them.
Pre-orders, though.
I don't know that any are built.
I could be wrong.
I'm not on top of this stuff.
But I think that they're not built yet.
A tractor trailer combo, not like a big rig yes this is like a like a mac truck oh okay yeah but electric and uh i guess there's a couple things that make it better there's a lot
of safety stuff built in to sort of like monitor the driver make sure he's not too tired things
like that you know of course the auto driving stuff it'll stop and avoid hitting things that's really useful but it's it's so much it's so safe it's it's safe they're out
they're out you say yeah on wednesday musk posted a photo showing a couple of the trucks embarking
on their first ever delivery run the ride which involves transporting battery packs between two
oh well he has trucks but it seems like these trucks, this is back in May,
were being used, March, were being used for his own purposes.
They were transporting Tesla components from one place to another.
Yeah.
You know, catching the bugs before the customers do, perhaps.
But yeah, anyway, they seem really great.
Now, you think the batteries are going to wear on it.
It sucks.
So they're not really for going coast to coast.
But if you're like a Pepsi guy delivering from a distributor to somewhere else that's really
nice and if you go to the same docks all the time you can charge it while you empty it something you
wouldn't do with a regular truck and regular trucks apparently take like 40 minutes to fill
up anyway it takes a while yeah it takes a takes a hot second i didn't realize that so i was like
oh yeah you know bumping it in for 15 minutes every stop doesn't seem too outrageous when you realize that otherwise they have to make a special trip to the gas station.
I wonder what the depreciation is like on an electric truck like that.
Because I guarantee it's much, much cheaper to make the gasoline kind.
And even if you're not saving an enormous ton enormous ton of time you're still going to be
saving some time over that charge like it just seems like it might not be realistic for some
companies to have employ like an entire fleet of these things unless they're like one of the titans
and what's the maintenance like too i wonder like like because you know batteries stop working well
but um yeah and what kind of specialty mechanics are you having to get for this as opposed to the
mechanic you can pull into on the side of any road you know to truck stop mechanic place and have
them there's a network of diesel mechanics that exist already yeah and they solve those batteries
those batteries they wear out you know they don't stay forever but diesel trucks get a million miles
either way this is really cool that's a neat little peek into what could be the future
yeah cool stuff for sure.
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Check them out.
Definitely.
Update your look, baby.
Yeah, you want to be looking fly.
You want to have a nice watch on,
have some nice clothes on,
have some breath that smells great.
We're trying to help you guys, people.
Get your dick hard as a fucking diamond.
Yes. Was that an ad,
by the way, earlier?
Or hims, yeah. All of these are.
You're pipping sponsor after sponsor.
They all work one way or another to get you laid.
Knocking them down like dominoes.
I've got to give those a shot on
Valentine's Day for sure. It's weird.
We often twist every advertiser
as a way to get laid.
That's what life is about.
We know our audience.
And they like sex as much as we do.
Yeah.
We like the idea of it, you know.
I got it.
I got it.
Because you're virgins.
They like to watch it on the internet.
There's that.
I got something pretty cool to talk about.
I'm starting a new company.
What does this company do?
I might have mentioned it last time I was here.
But I'm going to start making video games.
Did I mention this?
A little bit.
Yeah, yeah.
Right?
So now I'm actually doing it. i'm actually doing it i'm actually doing
it right so it started off as an idea just as fun like oh you know i want to make video games
sorry you even did some coding and gave away a game right yes yes and i made the game and then
i released it and it was a great success and then i was like okay well i should i should continue
this right um so now we have one guy hired, team leader.
Like, he's setting everything up.
We have an office in Amsterdam.
And we're doing tons and tons of interviews.
And August 1st is when we're, like, officially starting to make games.
But it's pretty exciting.
It costs a shit ton of money.
But besides that, video games games that's awesome dude what are you moving towards now yeah what do you know we're
doing simple stuff trying to learn like what kind of game are you so into so i'm really looking to
make games that are uh that tie in perfectly with my youtube channel right uh because i'm i'm playing
so many video games it's a shame that I don't
get paid by many of these video games that I'm
promoting. It would be nice if I got
to promote what I'm playing, right?
Or get a piece of what I'm
promoting.
But it'll mainly be games that are fun to play
and fun to watch
for any age. If you're
a kid, if you're an adult,
if you're drunk, if you're high, whatever, at a party, you can grab it.
Really like party games.
But no sober squares on the Rubble Cop stream.
No, no.
You've got to be on something.
You've got to be on something, exactly.
But yeah, just like fun games that are fun to play, fun to watch.
And we've done a ton of research looking at successful games on YouTube and successful games in
general, and the reasons
they've fallen off, and if you look
at Fortnite, like, Fortnite's doing everything
right right now, but
that's pretty much how
we're going to do it. Are you going to do something
on that level of complexity, or something more
like Peggle? No, no, no.
Peggle's a great game, don't diss.
I did do a diss, didn't actually it was the kind
of party game that high people might like this was popping into my head so it's it's we're mainly
trying to make games that are very quick to develop uh so a game such as fortnite is it's
very complicated yeah um whereas building a physics-based uh type of game can be done very easy.
And the way we're going to do it is we're going to, it's called a game jam, where you jam out a game in two or three days.
So the idea is to do like that for like the first two weeks.
And then based on the five games we get from that, we pick one and say, okay, this one's great.
And then scale it from there.
So all the games will be made so you can easily scale it.
Whereas if you look at, let's say, Skyrim, to make Skyrim a good game, you need to develop the whole world and you need to create the setting.
But if you look at, let's say angry birds i mean you guys know angry birds i
hope for sure uh you you make one level and they go oh this is fun and then you do that you just
make a hundred more levels you know so scaling that game is much easier than scaling a game such
as skyrim so that's pretty much the idea um is there gonna be are they gonna be uh free to play
games are they gonna be like uh you pay for it initially or is it gonna be are they gonna be uh free to play games are they gonna be like uh you pay
for it initially or is it gonna be like in-game content that that drives revenue so the first
the first games were uh we're looking at they would be five to ten bucks uh fairly cheap um
but obviously there's there's always a possibility of going free to play which is much more
complicated because you need to be very
in tune with how does your uh how does your audience or how do the how do your players
uh look at the shop you know when do they purchase things and uh if you if you look at it these
mobile games they have it nailed down it's like a science right so they know well if you've played for five minutes and then
you die you're 50 more likely to purchase something so we'll introduce a pop-up right there
and then they know if you die three times in a row you're more likely to close the app and leave
so that's when we'll show you this reward, which you can redeem.
And it's like those type of things.
And that's, for me, right now, way too complicated.
So we're just looking at simple games, fun to play, fun to watch, $10.
That's it.
Nice.
And you've got enough of an audience.
You can drive this solo.
That's great.
I hope it goes really well.
When is your kind of soft timeline to start releasing so it would be end of october start of november
possibly the first game so you get your first guy hired and you're interviewing for more
yes we've how involved are you in the management are you like do you talk to this guy every day
do you talk to him a couple times a day so whenever every every day he works he hits me up
with some like a paragraph of things that have been done and weekly chats uh but the idea is that
you know i i really get him on par with my vision um and then he can run it all without needing me
uh because i i have a busy life already i have a full-time job and I travel the world.
So I want it so that the company can run without me.
Obviously also because at one point I might sell.
How old is your guy so far?
How old is he?
Yeah.
He's 34.
Okay. And then we're looking at a very experienced guy who's 35.
I'm 23. And then we're looking at a very experienced guy who's 35.
I'm 23.
And then we've had a few young ones apply, but so far they're not experienced enough.
But we might go with one young one.
So we'll have two 30-year-olds and then one like 20-something.
And the three people is what we're going to start off with yeah in the minecraft world the older guys had more tech experience and ability but the younger
ones understood the community in the game and hardly anyone had both yeah that's it that's a
tough one right because well obviously, obviously I was looking at it
and I don't want to have like an old-fashioned,
you know, somebody who's like,
well, before we start off,
we need three months of preparation
before we can make a game.
Then one year of testing.
You know, like I don't want that.
I want to say like, well, time's money.
So we need to pump out these games quick we need feedback quick if you
need play testers i'll tweet it out we'll get 100 people sign up in a day um like it's a whole new
world and that's that's really what i'm trying to tell these guys uh but so far the the team leader
he's very uh he had no clue what youtube was what the influencers did you know youtubers did
uh but he's he's he's learning it quick he completely understands it now he's been
researching it a lot too um or so it seems um and i've never met him i've been i've been away
this whole time while setting up this business i want to talk to you after you've run the business
for whatever some period of time six months a year no like okay here's the
thing uh for somehow into minecraft people were were saying the whole like women earn 70 cents
on the dollar and i was like oh my god if that were true i'd hire all women i'm hiring people
you know like like i right now i live this every day uh i I don't even know what most of my staff look like.
I don't care if they're boys, girls, black, white, or Pocahontas.
It doesn't matter.
As long as they do the job, right?
Yeah, yeah.
This idea that people are turned down for things other than performance seemed crazy to me as a person who hired people.
Yeah, I have the same. things other than performance seemed crazy to me as a person who hired people yeah i know i have
the same well i have a i have a team of eight people who um who work on my youtube videos right
like we have three editors we have like a thumbnail guy idea guy this and that and um
sometimes i realize everybody's white everybody's male you know what i mean um but it's not like i've ever
declined anybody who uh who was of color or whatever i just have never had anybody apply
uh who was yeah it's never had a single female apply never think about where you're working
you're working in a video game sphere yeah in a very white area of europe it's like
no shit of course you're going to get a bunch of white european guys that's who for the most part
wants to do it only one of my employee two of my employees including plus me three are uh are uh
dutch the rest is i got three guys in australia i got one guy in the uk i got one guy in canada you know
what i mean so they work remote remotely but it's just that the people who watch me uh the people
who i promoted the job to are very similar to me um but then again if if if somebody else would
have applied i wouldn't have said hey you know you know, you're a girl, so you got the job. I still would have said, like, you can't do, like, you're not doing a good job, so I'm sorry,
but you're... Do you ever pay volunteers? It's people who help you and be like, man,
I appreciate this so much. Here's a thing. I don't have any volunteers, but if somebody does
work for me, I'm always 100% pay. Yeah's just my rule. If somebody does work,
it doesn't matter how little it is, you're getting
paid.
No.
You can avoid paying
someone, especially with these international
lines. You know what I mean?
What are they going to call? Interpol? Please.
Please.
Wings of Redemption is never getting all that money that we owe him.
You owe me $60
for a thumbnail.
I'm calling Interpol.
Millions at this point.
Oh, you can't even tease that, Kyle.
It'll be used as evidence.
And here he is admitting it.
Smart slash S.
I'll be back in a few months all burned out and all out of cash.
You know, with a company
Went bankrupt Harley on and then he came back with a Walmart deal. Maybe y'all strike it big. Yep
I don't know. I'll see I got a lot of support from like big CEOs in the gaming in some gaming companies
Which is nice. They're just like really like, hey, they tuned in the other day
and he just, he asked like,
hey, does Jordy need any help with anything?
Like three, $400 million gaming company.
It was pretty cool.
Nice.
But hey, I'm not there yet.
Maybe hopefully one day
I'll make the new COD or whatever.
Those companies aren't dumb.
Then everyone will hate you. Yes done they know exactly how much value
these YouTubers are bringing to the table
like six years ago
they didn't
what a bummer that was for me
abundantly clear
you were like
a 1970s baseball player
yeah and like 1952
we were like a little more of this i'm gonna have to
quit my job at the steel yard and now it's like just signed 130 million dollar a year contract
where's this coming from who goes to baseball games that's my that's my biggest fear where
i'm like hmm you know what i like i'm i'm settled i settled. I got a new company running. I think it's time to
retire, right? At an early
age. And then
I retire and then a year later, it's like
this new platform is released where people
can make 50 times
what they can make on YouTube. And then you're
sitting there with your hands like...
I'm telling you, Vimeo is the future.
I don't know why
Vimeo is never late. I watch't know why Vimeo is never late.
I watch my porn on Vimeo.
That's about it.
I believe you got to pay to upload or something.
I didn't know Vimeo had porn.
Oh, Vimeo has porn.
Does it really?
I can't tell if you're joking.
I've never seen it.
That's why I'm so good at it.
People who've quit their jobs on the spot.
What was the moment when you finally snapped anybody
um i've never quit on the spot i'm trying to think of like friends or family examples
i've had i've had business deals where i'm starting a new company and then just halfway
through a skype call with somebody i just told him, like, listen, I'm done.
So pretty much I was working on this company,
YouTube Management Agency,
and I got into this with a few guys,
and it never really clicked in my eyes.
And we were up and running for a few months we were
making some money with the company no no big numbers but we were making money um and uh and
pretty much they would go out get brand deals and make money for youtubers right and i was running
it i was hooking them up with connections i was hooking them up with connections. I was hooking them up with YouTubers.
They just went out. They were the salesmen. Right. And then in this like I was talking to my lawyers about it. Everything like we had contracts up, we had trade name, blah, blah, blah.
No official company yet, though, because first we wanted to test it.
And I talked to my lawyers and my lawyers say, well, you know, you want to start this company now.
Have you talked
about equity with these dudes and i said well not really and my lawyer said well you are the business
you're hooking these guys up with a lot of money and and power and a job you should be a hundred
percent stakeholder right so then i jump in the call with these guys and i'm talking and this guy he i go okay so you know
obviously like maybe i can give you guys a salary you take commission of some deals and they go no
i want one third of the equity of the company and then the other guy wants another one third
and then i have one third so i i laid it out for them i said like listen guys that's not how it works i'm a very
valuable person right i feel like i'm adding a lot to this business if not everything you guys
are replaceable right and then when i said that one of the guys started fucking yelling replaceable
you think i'm replaceable this and that and that's when i said
like guys i'm done like i'm completely done here i'm not doing this at like if if you want it if
you want anything from me talk to my lawyers whatever i'm done and then that was the end of
that um so at least you got out before you were in too deep. Yeah, exactly. So that was the hard chat I had to have with them, the talk where, you know, I pretty just pretty much telling them, like, listen, guys, you're not what you think you are.
But I feel like I should have had that chat before.
But then again, the business wasn't going to make much money anyways.
No, it seems like a business that could be a thing.
An agency.
It could be a thing.
So so obviously it can make a lot of money but to me it's not that big of an impact impact right so
if i don't have a job at all and i'm not a youtuber and i don't have my real estate on the
side it can be a very profitable job right uh and you can make a good amount of money but for me to
run this entire business and not it wouldn't have a big like even if i would sell it after five
years it wouldn't have a big effect on my net worth right and i would have to put a lot of
time and a lot of effort into it plus i would
probably miss out on other better business uh adventures so i just decided like to me it's
not worth it and i told these guys like if you want to do it go ahead uh but without me oh kyle
i've uh i've got one for a friend i've never quit a job on the spot,
but a friend of mine told me a story where he did.
So he worked at a company for a couple of years.
This was a few years back now.
And he'd climbed the ladder, so to speak, a bit.
Like, not high, but it was a good, you know...
Like, manager.
Yeah, it was a good point in his career.
He had some promising opportunities. And he used to enjoy some reefer during work. And he always thought that nobody would find him. level or below in like a storeroom or some shit and so eventually he got called into his main
boss's office and they showed him a tape like first they they asked him they were like have
you ever used any you know ever smoked or done any illicit substances while while at work and
he was like no never it would never cross my mind i would never do that and then they pop in a
videotape and play it and it's him in like the storeroom with like another employee or two all getting high
with on a joint and he immediately said told me the way he told it he was like and so i realized
either they're gonna write this up and have a reason for termination and there's a chance that
i'll get out to future employers or i can quit right now and then there
is no reason for termination i'm just out and so he said like his whole life changed in like a five
minute span from like thinking he was like secure in this to having to like blitzkrieg quit like
like like almost like he said he like stood up and was like i quit i quit i'm out i quit i'm out of
here i quit just like talk to me about like via email for what I need to do
for any like, uh, post-employment interviews or whatever you want me to do. I'm sure you don't
want me to do that, but I'm, I'm done. And he said, that was it. He just quit and never had
to think about it again. I mean, he said it sucked looking for, you know, a job for a while,
but I think he found one pretty quick. Not that exciting, but it's real.
know a job for a while but i think he found one pretty quick not that exciting but it's real yeah mine kyle left the screens are all messed up it's tricky because it takes like a minute or
minute and a half to fix it and it he could come back any second now like when she's left
and uh like as i'm fixing it it gets do you have a do you use obs or x splits
obs so why don't you just have presets it's trickier than you think there's like a million
presets yeah it's like i need a preset for every different person that left i'd need a preset for
like when she's here for when she's in here it would be like eight presets nine presets i don't
know how many combinations there are it's almost worse than the problem yeah and and then heaven forbid i changed the size of skype
by like a half inch yeah all the presets were anyway um maybe i should fix these and i come
back i had a i had a story i don't know it was very good i was 13 when i started working at this
place i used to rent out bicycles and clean them and stuff.
And then it started early.
The job started at like 5 a.m., which for me was just super early.
It was really hard for me to get myself up and get there on time, but I did.
And this guy was a total ball buster.
He really wanted you 10, 15 minutes early, unpaid, but I didn't quite recognize that.
So I would just get there, usually right on time.
And since I lived two weeks away and went by bicycle, it was not that hard to get there on time.
I got there one day.
It was 5.02 in the morning.
And I knew that hell was coming.
And it's 5.02, and I check in.
And he's like, what are you?
Yelling at me. He doesn't come near me.
He's yelling at me from across this restaurant.
And I'm like,
yeah. He's like, what does that say?
And I think I
read there's
a punch card machine.
So instead of telling him what time it was,
I told him
it says time at Clock-O-Matic. I read the label on the machine. I told him, like, it says, like, time clock-o-matic.
Like, I read the label on the machine.
He's like, no, no, what time does it say on the punch card?
So I told him 5.02, and he's asking me to, like, explain that,
but I don't know what to say because it was 5.02 when I pressed it.
And he just starts laying in me, and it was too much.
Like, I had had enough of it.
And I was like, I quit.
And he's like, what did you say?
Like he wanted me to repeat it.
Like I was going to change my mind.
And I was like, I quit.
That's it.
Like you're just too mean.
I'm done.
And I rode my bike home.
At 13, that's pretty reasonable.
I was 14.
I put up with it for a year.
And yeah, I didn't quit like the first time he was mean to me.
And he would just lay out, like, what a great situation I had.
And like, man, you come here, you work, you peel some potatoes, you rent out some bikes.
Like, this is a sweet gig.
And I'd be like, yeah, I guess you're right.
You know?
This is really awesome.
Baking down here in the sun,
dipping the freaking steel wool into the bike juice
and cleaning them.
But I quit that job on the spot
when he yelled at me one time too many.
That sounds shitty.
And look at you now.
Haven't cleaned a bike since.
They're all filthy.
You should find out where he lives
now and go back and see if
he's still scrubbing bikes.
I wonder what he's doing now.
He might be dead.
Yeah. If not, he's probably
pretty old. I bet he was 30 years older than me.
Oh, man.
75. I mean, he's right on the edge.
So you were right up his alley.
The average male life expectancy in the U.S. is 76.
Yep.
It'll be 77 by the time I get there.
I've got nothing to worry about at 76.
If you get there.
Yeah, the paramotor hobby doesn't lend itself to natural causes.
No.
How'd he die?
He plummeted from the air.
If someone said to me, did you hear?
Would he die?
My first question is, what did he hit?
The ground, quickly.
Not the leading cause of death.
My first question would be, did anybody film it?
Yeah, right?
Check the GoPro on his head.
I'd try and find it.
Get him his final viral video, guys.
Come on.
It's me shouting passwords to bank accounts to my wife.
In nine years.
Honey, click on finance.
That's the question. This is the
question for Taylor and I.
Woody dies tomorrow. Terrible
paramoting accident. I'll be the new
host. I'll be the new host of PK.
DM me.
But Jackie
sends us the footage and she says
Woody always said that anything
ever did happen, that you guys should
have this and do whatever you want with it.
Because, you know, ride together, die together, bad boys for life.
That was his motto.
He's never said that.
Woody was always looking at it with real intent and saying, ride together, die together, bad boys for life.
That was like his motto, right?
And so he sends us his footage.
Do you like how we're going to change the way you are posthumously yes you just became martin lawrence to our to my will
smith i think and so and so you and i have this footage right and it's pretty gory right he he
hits a goose midair he you can tell that from his audio that he's confused uh and and he goes into
like a death spiral hits the the ground, screaming the whole
way, and the camera comes off. Still
living when he's on the ground,
moving, crawling for help.
There's a part where he crawls.
His legs are cut off.
It's on concrete. It looks like if you dropped
a stuffed pepper. Yeah.
Just mush.
He looks like a toothpaste tube
that's been rolled backwards and it just exploded
out the back. It's awful
where his legs are.
But we have all this footage, right?
Do we use that footage the next week on the show?
I mean,
as long as it's not before Tuesday, then we'd use it on
PKN as well.
It's what I'd want.
That's what we'd do. Flip that. effects we're gonna need this for legal purposes we'd keep playing it over and over with different little sound effects
we'll get a gta5 meme made out of it where he lands and he goes like
busted or wasted wasted yeah hypothetical single jackie
would be between the life insurance and everything else would be sitting on quite a little nest egg
she's gonna go crazy do you guys ever have that discussion like if i die early i would want you
to do this this and that if and she comes back you know well well if i ever died early i would
want you to do this and that have you had that conversation i don't think so not that out right no oh maybe you should right uh i mean would you want i wonder
what most people do right i think most people cover that yeah i think so i think like married
couples with kids and stuff you would you would want to write it down right like if you die who
gets this who gets that blah blah, blah, blah.
Yeah, Will, but I think he's talking about
dating again. Yes.
And maybe you're curious
about, like, where would your life go?
If we weren't here as this
nuclear family in North Carolina,
if I passed away and
you suddenly had, you know, a
lot of money and
you don't have to support my hobby anymore,
what would you do?
And what if her answer was like,
you know, I've always wanted to live in Cuba.
You know, I've always wanted to fuck a black guy.
Oh!
Yeah, so I like where you're going with that.
We'll circle around to the...
Well, I don't know.
She doesn't like having her cervix hit.
We covered that earlier in the show.
It's a very awkward conversation to have though because it's like, oh, you know, well, I would travel the world and, you know, I would retire and just get high all day and buy an island or
something right and it's like well why don't we do that now why don't we go
travel the world now you know why don't we go today I mean so I feel like the
best answer would be the best answer would be well, I would take care of the kids. I would take care of your parents
and I wouldn't date
anybody
ever again
after this.
No, Kyle, he said
he'll take care of them.
If Woody were to pass away early,
Jackie will definitely
take care of his parents.
There'll be nothing holding her back now.
She'll use that insurance money to hire a professional
to go take care of some business or something.
I, on the other hand,
will take care of all of her parents' needs as well.
Oh.
Wait.
Now, I'm literally talking about her having her parents killed.
Her parents are already dead.
Ah!
That's a joke.
You got in early.
All right.
All right.
That one's going to come back in.
Sorry, family.
Why don't we travel the world now?
Why don't we go on vacation now?
You could respond with,
Now, the first time I traveled the world,
I wanted to be with someone special yeah i think i would want to know like like
are you going to remarry um you know how soon do you think that would happen like like what
kind of guy would you even look for would you still live here would you sell the house and
move somewhere like smaller or more near your family?
What would you do?
I think I would have some reservations.
What would you do if you were me?
There's this YouTube podcast.
If I'm you and she passes away?
It's Keenstar or something.
Well, if I'm you and she passes away, I don't know.
See, I think you really enjoy a lot of the things about where and what
you live now, right? You like your house, obviously. You like the bit of property that
you have there and your ability to fly in and out of there. But I don't know. Maybe there's
somewhere. What's the heart of paramotoring country, right? Like maybe Florida, like where
those guys are. Maybe you move to Florida. I really like where we are actually it's very good we have a nice community here um the one like i i think where i am is almost perfect in that scenario
except that it's a lot of house like i don't need that much house for who i think my house is 6 700
square feet for colin and i insane that is ridiculous right like it Put a ball pit in. Just to convert the Game of Thrones room into a big foam pit.
You can make it so he can parkour everywhere.
The only way to get to the kitchen is parkour.
A little bouldering for your glasses.
I like to think the first thing you would do, Woody,
is go and either throw away or ceremoniously burn the George Foreman grill.
You'd be like, we're getting full-flavored
chicken back in this house, kids.
It'll have the fat.
It'll have the flavor.
Candy's back on the menu.
I eat that all the time.
I had it for lunch.
Oh, God.
Does she season it? Does she put anything on it?
Well, you'd have to. That would be vile.
I wouldn't even know what it is. There's the brown one and the yellow one coming out with like these brown marks only when she's
not home yeah is it really dry i got i got i got an interesting uh last night um so so obviously
you see all these uh lately i've been very like thinking about wealth and stuff uh what it really means and you know
who really is rich and when you're classified rich and what you're you know if there if there
is like a a checklist of like you hit a million dollars you need to have this you're being
competitively wealthy quib i can see this you're like all right i'm one percent huh am i one tenth
of one percent am i one tenth of one percenter right right so I'm 1%. Huh, am I 1 tenth of 1%? Am I a 1 tenth of 1%-er?
Right, right.
So I'm just curious sometimes when I'm bored, right?
So you have all these, let's start off fairly low on the richness scale, right?
You have all these YouTubers and they get a car.
They get Louis Vuitton, this Gucci Gucci, you know, all the designer clothes.
In reality, they're broke, right?
Yes, you might be driving the expensive car, but it depreciates in value You could have invested that money to make more money for you. You're paying insurance. You're paying parking. You're paying this you're paying that
These guys they don't have any money. If you have if you drive an expensive car, it doesn't mean much
It just means that you bought an expensive car
money. If you drive an expensive car, it doesn't mean much. It just means that you bought an expensive car. Same thing with all these designer clothes and stuff like that, right? If you're
buying art, it can keep its value. If you're buying real estate, it can keep its value
or make you more money. So after that, you get into the range, like let's say you're a million
to 10 million dollars. You got your investments going they're making you money
um but then pretty much what you see right after that it's like oh you have a nice car you have a
nice house the next step is you have a private jet and you have a yacht right that's a quantum leap
but what is in between right what is in between and um i like there's no guidebook for it which says well if
you're making this much money you should probably uh get a chef or something like that right what
purchase are you bouncing around that's making you think a personal trainer that drives you to
the gym it seems pretty good that's not because because right now i'm thinking let's say you have
so much money you should start taking care of yourself too, right?
And not the usual way of, okay, I can go to the movies twice a week now and get the large popcorn,
or I can go out for dinner a bit more often.
You're on the nose, that one, Quip.
No, no. Hey, that's what I think too when I'm going to the movies. I'm like, you know what?
I can afford the hot dogs now you know i'll get a
nice hot dog i'll get a little bit of candy a little bit too much food i know i'm not gonna
finish it but i just like to snoop around yeah sure you're treating yourself and you can but
the the real things you should be thinking about is okay i can afford a personal trainer
which can really make my life much better i can live longer because
of it i can feel better because of it but at what point do you do that right same thing with a chef
same thing with a maid or whatever you know a butler who knows a driver um and the same thing
of like where do you draw the line of flying commercial economy to business class, to first class, to private, to charter private, to having your own private jet, right?
Like where are these lines and when should you have a bodyguard looking after you, right?
Yeah.
These are problems I don't have.
No, but it's it's
it's interesting to think about it is interesting to think about i'm not there but you could be
and it's like huh you know like maybe a cook would be great probably cheaper than a wife
oh yeah definitely but like at the age you're at queb i feel like you wouldn't even want
a live-in chef or a chef that's not even live-in that would come by.
That's another thing, right?
I'm at the age where maybe I can put some of that money,
a small percentage, into private
cooking classes or something.
This is just a new thing I'll develop.
But the personal trainer thing
makes a lot of sense.
I actually do have a personal trainer in the Netherlands
and it's not that expensive
if you think about it.
He charges about 500 it's like 500 to a thousand euros a month um i'm thinking to myself to allow me to interrupt but are you a level of ginormous wealth does it take to drag your twisted priority
ass to the doctor to get your lower back looked at is that 1 million 3 million 9 million
i have it it's on my list oh never mind today i had the conversation with a girlfriend i actually
went to i actually need to go to the doctor tomorrow i do go to the doctors okay because i
i had some rib pains and they're like maybe it's your gallbladder you gotta go for an x-ray
um but i haven't it didn't cross my mind to then also ask
like hey by the way my lower back hurts maybe you should get that checked out too um yeah so don't
don't worry dad the thing is i it'll be fine i went through a phase i don't want to call it that
like there was a time in my life where i also didn't like make the right medical decisions i
didn't like know that i should do that that that should be a priority and i thought about it and
like we would take our kids to the doctor at appropriate times but i wouldn't take myself
and uh eventually it's like you know what that is a mistake why am i only half good at this
i have another one which i was thinking about uh today um how often how often do you get your car looked at
uh i don't know i changed my oil on time but i'd like to do it myself for some reason
how how often do you look at your car go make sure everything looks good and drives good and uh just name something okay every 60 000 miles okay uh and then compared it to your
body like how often do you go to the doctor and be like check everything in my body annually
because i'm not a dentist yeah you do more than that actually twice a year you get everything
checked we're talking not just blood work.
We're checking, like, they sit you down.
They ask you these questions.
Like, full rundown.
Everything.
Well, you're making me think it's less complete than you're going for.
But, no, they do the full blood work, and they talk about mental health.
We talk about our exercise routine.
I mean, it's supposed to be a comprehensive physical.
Well, first of all,
when did you start doing that? At what age? Oh, probably five years ago. So 40. Right, right.
And second of all, there's a lot of questions based on trust, right? If you say, well, you know,
I go to the gym three times a week. In reality, do you actually go?
Do you work out properly while at the gym?
Right.
So I think there's a great market for it, for really like monitoring everything, somebody's behavior and then looping back for feedback and based on somebody's health or something.
I mean, I'm talking XJaws stuff here now.
Ah, I see.
Anyways, I actually ran into him a month ago. Did you?
Where was he?
In LA, he has a
mouse mat company.
How's it doing?
I don't know. Okay.
A mouse mat company. That's interesting.
I don't even have a mouse mat.
Maybe I need it.
Anyways, I'm going to get my
yearly checkups too now.
I guess.
This is the most interesting thing
I've heard in a little bit.
Just on a hard wooden surface there?
Yes. Is this odd
to people?
It's like going in dry.
You don't.
You need something to make it smooth.
Yeah.
It moves smoothly.
Time for a poll.
I use the arm of my couch.
The arm of your couch?
I play like that with my laptop. Do you you literally do that gamer yeah i don't care
i don't have a gaming setup or anything i just sit there and play rts there's some micro involved
you need a good control yeah it's good enough like i like sitting there reclining mouse pad
taylor good god man they're like three dollars, it's not a prohibitive cost barrier.
It's, I'm not, like, why would I put a mouse pad on top of the arm of my couch while I'm playing when I can just use the arm of the couch?
It's already pretty smooth.
Probably shouldn't be utilizing the arm of the couch under any circumstances.
It's because I'm sitting there, laptop in front of me, arm over here, arm with the mouse over here, and I just lean back and play.
Is the mouse pad for, like for a good frictionless movement, or is it for good optical pickup recognition?
You don't want frictionless movement, in my personal opinion. It's somewhere in between.
I like the mouse pad because it adds the correct amount of friction. It feels more precise
because it's always the exact same amount of friction
and it always moves at the same speed all the time.
I've talked about it before.
I don't have a mouse pad.
My entire desk is a mouse pad.
But I couldn't just use a wooden surface or something.
That feels so weird.
It feels so slick.
Yeah, you want it to be the same
all over the place right yeah you wouldn't eight foot desk it's the same the whole way
is it picking up the mouse like properly is it making noise because i i don't well if it's
rubbing you know i i really i I always thought it was fine.
It's got these little like Teflon pads on the bottom.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's a little like right here and right there.
Yeah, I don't know.
I like my mouse, man.
I love it.
I'm so happy with this desk purchase.
Every now and then you make a purchase and you're just like, oh, I nailed it.
I nailed it. This is exactly
what I need. This fits my needs so well.
Do you wish it was wider?
No. It's so wide.
My arms don't reach the sides of it.
It's plenty wide.
I've got shit all over it.
I've got the cameras there and sound mixers
and fucking empty soda cans
over there and car keys and money and liquor over here and and glasses and and power strips and just
all you know everything fits i've got extra room like i i just wouldn't have anywhere to put i
don't have anything to put there at this point it's good to go i love this desk yeah i'm happy
so i made my desk it's not much to it but it's super long, so Colin sits on the end.
And I've always thought, especially when I worked a lot,
like when I did Woody Craft, I actually put in a lot, a lot of hours.
And it was nice to have Colin over here,
so I didn't feel like I left the family so much.
It was cool.
We'd live stream.
He'd be part of the stream over there.
He got so excited and so upset when things
went well and things went poorly and uh i thought he was entertaining on the stream and if things
really suck like i don't know we just couldn't get anything going or maybe we'd work on something
for an hour and it wouldn't like come to fruition like we hoped it would he'd like go to the back
and make these giant
domino towers waist high
and then knock them over. And it was pretty neat.
Yeah.
I like him.
Alright.
Own up to it.
What are you absolutely awful at?
Oof.
That's a tough one telling you what I'm bad at
awful at that's what I'm bad at
can you confirm
there are a few things
pretty bad at basketball
I'm pretty terrible at
swimming I can keep myself alive but
something more personal we want to know something more
I keep coming to pronunciation
which that's kind of widely known
I know
what I'm horrible at
but I
started to learn that over the
last year or two years
I want to do too many things
I
well at the time and I still do but i'm like i remind
myself of that i'm bad at this if you if somebody would come up like if two years ago you came up
to me with the worst business idea ever i would say yeah let's do it you know uh just for the
sake of doing things up until a point where i had like eight projects going and they were all like just Skype groups and that was it and nobody actually did anything um so at one point I
realized I'm trying to do way too many things I need to cut it all off stop doing any of it
and then only do the ones that I'm I'm good at and actually making money with
um so that that was one of the things I'm
really bad at. And then the other one, being comfortable, I would say, in like the situation
I'm in. And I feel like it really ties in with the previous one. I'm always trying to do new stuff.
And when I feel comfortable, I'm always like, well, I got to change it up now. You know what I mean?
But now knowing that I'm more acceptable, like, let's say, let's say I'm, you know, this is a real situation. I'm doing my YouTube channel and I'm making game, like playing video games, making videos.
I'm getting a lot of subscribers and I feel like I'm like I'm comfortable.
Right. I'm comfortable where i am
and then for some reason i'm like okay well now i have this crazy video idea which is totally
outside of what i usually do and then i make it and it flops and it's horrible and i ask myself
why did i do that why didn't i just say, I'm comfortable here. Let's just cruise the ship and stay here for a little bit.
And when I have some solid evidence that I have something which is good, then I can expand.
But no less, how do you say that, impulsive decisions.
Yeah, there you go.
It sucks when you work like triple hard on a video and people don't like it.
Yeah, that's not why I subscribe to you.
I like this about you.
And you're like, man, I just tried to do something amazing, but it didn't go well.
Yeah, yeah.
So definitely for me.
Sometimes I watch those videos well after that time has passed and all settled down,
and I realize that they were right but while you're making it you you feel your work is a lot better than it actually is
um but yeah for me definitely putting more thought into decisions which uh which are
you know actually important because because you look at something and I'm like, ah, you know, what is this?
It's just another side project.
When in reality, we're talking about a lot of money,
people who are changing their lives for this.
You know what I mean?
But to me, I'm like, I'm just like,
ah, another project and sure, I'll do it.
Not really thinking of the real life consequences.
So that's what I started doing.
And that's why I,
you know,
with the gaming company,
it's,
it's,
I've learned a lot from my previous projects,
whereas now I'm actually doing it the right way.
Taylor,
what are you absolutely awful at?
Also sucking my own dick.
Uh,
I,
I am terrible with directions.
Giving them or receiving them or just like having to deal with it like i don't know what it is like when i go somewhere for the first time
i'll memorize that place from the place i went but then if i like if i go on across town somewhere
and then went somewhere else and then had to go back to that place I started initially, I'd have to like GPS it because it's like, fuck, even though I know these
points now, I don't have the, I guess, spatial aptitude maybe to like twist and turn that
in my head and get back without it.
Like my brother, fantastic at it.
Like there are places we went when we were like, you know, children and like 20 years
later we'll go and he remembers everything.
Like I am terrible at that and i do not handle being lost well people in my car i'm pretty even
keeled most of the time like i don't like in real life i don't get all you know up and honors about
shit i'm pretty pretty laid back but like if i get lost my fuse is like shorter than all of the
fuses people lit and blew their fingers off this year and fourth of july like it's so short that like i take like two wrong turns and i'll be fuck like like pretty
aggressive about it to the point that like people i've been driving with will be like oh okay okay
all right you know it's all right we'll just turn around here and i'm like fucking always it always
happens i can't go fucking anywhere without getting lost. Like, it's just something like that.
And, oh, I hate that.
You know, if I miss an X on a highway, I don't consider that being lost.
Like, and so it's just like, all right, just double back.
It's more like if I take a wrong turn or two, and then I'm somewhere I know I wasn't supposed to be.
Oh, it frustrates me so much.
I hate getting lost.
And I'm terrible with directions, so not a good combo.
Quib, were you saying something? Oh, no, no, no. Yeah, I'm also terrible with directions so not a good combo. Quib, were you saying something?
Oh, no, no, no.
Yeah, I'm also terrible with directions.
Better yet, I'm awesome at getting lost but
I don't have the same
I don't get too upset about it.
I used to get lost when I flew all the time.
I didn't know exactly how to get back.
I just had this general idea that
seemed like that way was where I came from.
I'll start recognizing things.
And it's easy.
You'd think that this is a place you've driven a thousand times.
Flying over it, you could just recognize it.
But not the case.
It's a whole new place to learn.
And things weren't laid out like I thought they were based on driving.
But yeah, get lost.
I have another interesting
question.
What's, what would
your ideal, not realistic,
but ideal retirement
plan be?
Like what to do?
What would you do?
Where would you be? What would you
be doing your everyday? Would you
want people to take care of
you you know i don't know i i don't i don't think i would want like a chef or a maid or stuff like
that in a you know retired life i'm assuming not like 80 years old retired i'm assuming a little
bit no like younger you can still move yeah like i feel like if you let all of the reins be taken away from you
in life you're gonna get that thing where like you know when old men retire suddenly they just
like age like off a cliff where it's like your main reason for being here producing is now not
you're not here like you're ready to be turned over so that more you know more effective males
can come and take your spot and so i feel like if you didn't keep up with hobbies like
working out or cooking or whatever like you would lose it and you would start to like if everybody
was waiting on you hand and foot you just become a pile of shit and you'd resent it because like
dependence breeds resentment would you want to even if you're hiring them yeah would you want
to be where you are right now or would you say say, well, you know, I'd want to move to, like, a warm country, like an island?
Maybe a place with no hammer murders out front?
Yeah, if I'm Mr. Moneybags,
I'm going to retire in not St. Louis.
So probably, I don't know, Texas would be fun.
Buy a bunch of land and have, like, a compound or something
where you can shoot guns and, like, ATV.
Wouldn't you get lonely?
Oh, well, I mean, I'd bring my family there with me you're stepping up a notch in mr money bags i guess he did ask ideal yeah he said it out there
yeah yeah he's like money retiring as a single like 50 year old man has got to be like the most
depressing feeling ever like once all the fun
of the money wears off like you don't have children you don't have a legacy you just kind
of have to come to terms with the fact that you spent your entire life seeking nothing more than
pleasure for yourself that it seems like that would be a depressing feeling where it'd be like
oh man like i i am the reason that billions and billions of years of
every one of my ancestors successfully mating for the most part like i'm the reason that stopped
and i don't know it just like it makes you kind of realize like uh kind of the reason a lot of
these older people without kids go crazy is because they're they didn't ever have kids
they didn't ever kind of do what we're meant to do here.
I know Kyle disagrees.
I strongly disagree.
Fucking kids.
Like kids are disappointments to,
most of the time children disappoint their parents.
They end up loathing their own children and their children end up loathing them.
This isn't a personal experience of mine.
It's just what I've gathered.
Most of the time, you know, nine times out of 10,
children and parents hate each other and loathe.
I wouldn't say nine times out of ten, but maybe six out of ten.
I think maybe you're demonizing it a little heavily
because you don't want to let the thought enter your mind
that it might be that important, as what I said earlier.
Like keeping you together, establishing a legacy,
having people there when you're taking your dying breaths.
Yeah, I wouldn't care about any of that.
I wouldn't want anyone there if I were dying.
You're just going to...
You're dead. What does it matter?
I don't need them there. Trust me, there'll be a lot
of people around when I die.
Let me pitch this.
Oh, Jesus, I had to process that.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Oh, I won't be alone.
First I find a crowded mall
What are you going to do?
Ban my Twitch account?
Ha ha
I only need four more minutes
Score
Now Cal
Here's the thing that I think
I think that your relationships
And having people love you and people that you love Is a core part of your, not your, but anybody's sense of happiness and well-being and just joy in life.
You can have all the finances and fitness in the world, but if you don't have those relationships with friends and family, then you're missing a happiness pillar.
Yeah, but I feel like you're cheating by gaining those people
by genetically propagating.
You're creating people that have to love you.
It's literally called unconditional love.
They can't stop loving you.
You should go out there and earn that shit.
I've got people that love me
that I earned that love.
They can't stop. They want to.
Do they have to love you, or do six out of ten
of them loathe each other?
They have to
love me. They really don't have any
choice, not at this point.
No, I think... The basement's locked.
I think I've got, you know,
I don't have a ton of friends, but I think, I feel
like the people that I am close with, I have really
strong friendships with, and
you know, there's plenty of people that love me, and
I feel like having children isn't the way to accomplish like that seems like it seems so
selfish like like like oh yeah i've got three kids some they're they're gonna love me good
forever i i'll i'll never run out of having children is such an act of selfishness isn't it
absolutely yeah not being single that's a giving complimentary act having children is like the the
epitome of
selfishness right like i'm gonna create some like facsimiles of me and you because we're so special
right it's not like that at all i and i think you've got like the cart before the horse i don't
think it's you're creating someone who has to love you like some you know amorous golem who is like
just has to you know hug you and do that kind of shit like i think it's almost the opposite of like
you want to create someone that you care about deeply and want to help you and do that kind of shit. I think it's almost the opposite of like,
you want to create someone that you care about deeply and want to help them and help them develop
into hopefully a better person than you were.
Well, that's an interesting way to look at it.
That's the way everyone looks at it but you.
It's so funny, Woody.
I said kind of like the spoiler play,
like this is why people have kids,
and Kyle's like, hmm.
That's an interesting way to look at it. You mean it's not self-serving?
It honestly still doesn't
appeal to me. They're not just amorous golems?
I feel like that's why a lot of people
lie. They're like oh yeah I just wanted to create someone and make them better than me.
You're like nah. I bet if we got the truth like you
know a bunch of them just want that government assistance money that's why they're having
do we need some of them just don't like condoms that's why they're having
do we need do we need a reason to have kids because at the end of the day
you know it's built in to want to have sex to want to get that kid you know what i mean
like you want to pass over your genes it's built in to want to have sex, to want to get that kid. You know what I mean? Like, you want to pass over your genes.
It's built in to want to have the sex
because it accomplishes those other things.
But it's not built in to want to carry your genes over
or to want children, necessarily.
Not for men, anyway.
Oh, dude, it totally is.
It totally is evolutionary that you want to pass your genes on.
Yeah, that's what I said
you want to have sex
which is an essence of that
but then take care of the
offspring
I don't think that's a male drive
necessarily
to want to
take care of the children necessarily
I think a lot of
I think that it's a male drive
maybe not to take care in the way
you're saying of you know the more the female role of like nurturing and everything but i think it is
a male drive to want to provide for them and you know make sure they're safe and i think that's
vanity as they need oh i don't think so i think if you have a child and it's half you half the
person you really care about i think i think that a lot of intrinsic drive like i've i've seen so
many friends have kids and previous milk toast whatever i'm in a lot of intrinsic drive like i've i've seen so many friends have kids
and previous milk toast whatever i'm in a career i'm making enough money i'm a single guy with a
girlfriend or my wife and i make decent money they have a kid and it is i swear to god it is
like something like a switch turns in the male brain where they're like i got a fucking kid now
i gotta stop dilly-dallying and start loading up on resources start working my
ass off like i've seen this so many times before i was thinking of your people i want to like name
it it's people my brother-in-law thank you yeah yeah yeah he had a kid and then suddenly he
became super guy you know but but all right so so what the way i look at that is there's a couple ways to look at it you could say
oh he went into overdrive and worked three jobs and the weekends and for his father um and saved
every penny and and wore shoes with holes in them can you lay it out in fast forward yeah sure yeah
um my half sister it's my my father's daughter from a previous marriage. She's, I'm not really sure,
maybe six, seven, eight years older than me. I really don't know. But she at 18, I want to say,
got pregnant. She had a boyfriend and she gets pregnant with twins, no less, at 18. and that's that that's a a starting point where a lot of men and a lot of couples uh go in
a really shitty direction uh sometimes the man literally flees the fucking state right um sometimes
he's just like ah you know good luck getting child support out of me i i don't work you know
like like there's lots of dumpster shit ways to go from that position.
He immediately married her.
He worked for his father.
His father owned a company.
I won't say exactly what it is, but there was no favoritism there.
He had a real bottom-tier job there that was very hard manual labor
when he could have been put in a position
of wealth and power. But he certainly wasn't. And to this day, I believe he still works
pretty hard at some position at that company. But in any case, he's working there full time,
like 40, 50 hours a week or something. And then he gets a second job coming in, working at a similar company.
It's not a real competitive environment. And then he goes and buys a pressure washer with the little
money that he has. And he pressure washes houses in all of his spare time, every weekend, every
evening, sometimes early in the morning. He's going around pressure washing houses for whatever
you get paid to do that. And he saved up enough money to get them in their first house.
And then they worked together and,
uh,
they,
they ended up with a whole chain of,
um,
daycares.
Uh,
I don't know how many they have now.
Like it,
seven,
maybe it's,
it's an incredibly profitable thing.
They're millionaires.
Great.
Good for them.
That's awesome.
Yeah.
I don't want any of that shit.
You fucked up.
He should have ran.
He was an example of,
of,
uh, cause Taylor said, you know, sometimes you use people to snap to it and become the super version of themselves. Yeah. I don't want any of that shit. He fucked up. He should have ran. He was an example of...
Because Taylor said, you know, sometimes you use people to snap to it
and become the super version of themselves.
That's what he did.
Yeah, I don't care for that guy at all.
He's kind of an asshole.
Oh, he sounds awful.
Yeah, sounds like a hard-working prick.
Yeah, I mean, there are hard-working pricks.
I don't care for him personally.
I admire what he did in that scenario.
That's a very honorable thing to do. But I't care for him personally. I admire what he did in that scenario. That's a very honorable thing to do.
But I don't like him personally.
Do you not like him because
he doesn't like you?
That's the reason I don't like
all people.
I usually don't form an opinion about somebody
where I'm like, ah, he's a scumbag. I don't like him.
But usually they gotta do something to me first.
He was always shitty to me. I didn't care for him. Yeah, we a scumbag. I don't like him. But usually they gotta do something to me first. Yeah, he was always a shitty to me.
I didn't care for him.
Yeah, we don't like him.
I don't.
I'm on your team.
Yeah, I know.
Oh, I understand. I appreciate it.
Fuck that guy.
Yeah.
Fuck him.
You and your shitty kids.
What, bald at 22?
Yeah, I bet your daycares are dirty inside.
Need to be vacuumed. Subpar, I bet your daycares are dirty inside. Need to be vacuumed.
Subpar, I bet.
Covered with that white stuff from Oreos.
I'd give it a two star on Yelp with a scathing review instead of one so people believed it.
Oh, playing the long con.
There you go.
My child was filthy when I picked her up.
It looked like she'd been rolling in dirt.
There's just lots of those.
She was covered in cat hair.
Two stars.
She won the cat wrestling competition.
She's covered in scratches, and the doctor says she has toxoplasmosis.
Where'd that come from?
I like it.
That's what you get from cats.
That's like the crazy cat lady
thing like uh if you have a bunch of cats around you you can get i think it's called toxoplasmosis
where it like fucks with your yeah she's just saying yes where it fucks with your brain and
like hence the crazy cat lady meme yeah oh my god that's actually a thing it's a real thing
that's making crazy where you're like oh my, this is a little girl inside of the cat.
She's trapped.
So you can only have one cat, Kyle, you say?
Two cats?
You should have no cats.
I'm with you.
I have a cat.
Something about cats seems to lend themselves to having more than one cat.
Not a lot of people have three dogs like my dumbass does.
But a lot of people have three dogs, like my dumb ass does, but a lot of people have three cats.
Misery loves company.
I think it's their...
Chiz just beat me to it again.
They're low-maintenance, you know?
You don't have to...
They can stay in the house 24-7.
You just put a litter box there,
and, you know, nowadays,
litter boxes just do their own thing.
It, like, scoops up the litter and...
It does?
Yeah.
Yeah, I've seen those.
I need to buy one of these.
You need to get to America.
I'm putting it on my list.
That's the six and a half million dollar
level. Your litter box cleans itself.
I have money and I'm still cleaning my own
litter box, guys.
What is this?
Even my cleaner says,
oh no, that's too dirty for me.
I don't clean that.
Wow. They have Mexicans in the Netherlands? No, no. says oh oh no that did dirty for me I don't clean that you know they have
Mexicans in the Netherlands no no she just talks really weird she's dead
you're in Canada did you import a Dutch cleaner into Canada she's that she's
Spanish ah yeah from she actually really sweet except she doesn't do litter boxes
and she does everything except for the litter box
if i'm rich you know what's never happening in my house no you'll do the laundry she'll fold it up
she'll hang it up she'll whatever but not the condoms what's her policy there if there's a
used condom on oh she'll clean it up really like she has actually done it and not complained
things of equal value i should say i. I follow. I have suffered greatly
finding a housekeeper who would
not make a big huff
about cleaning up a few old condoms.
They're all dried up.
What could be of equal value?
Like a cream-covered vibrator
on the bed?
I can't disclose that information.
Let you ponder over it.
I could use that, mate.
This is so gross but
i have like like on between my bed and the wall in my bedroom like the small area like you know
when you're done fucking and you know take the condom off you don't want to immediately go and
like throw it away and dispose of it you just want to like tie it off and toss it and so there
is like and i and every time I see the little
alcove, the graveyard of condoms,
I'm just like, I'll clean that up
soon. I'll clean that up soon.
I'll clean that up soon.
You can't see it from anywhere in the room
because it's between the back corner
of my bed and, because when we're done,
I just throw it over there.
Okay, guys, it's not for me.
It's not that bad.
The semen separates into levels right
the heavy parts come to the top inside you tie the condom off in a knot leave it there
but the bottom part is clear and then there's this weird like like fatty cream layer on top
that separates and then if you really leave it long enough it starts like decomposing in there
and creating gases and then the condom starts
inflating from the whatever...
Yeah.
Most of these have been in there for
fucking months and months
and months now.
Yeah.
You've got to keep them out of the sunlight.
Make sure you don't...
The UV rays will just...
They've been in darkness since I tossed them there.
I did that. I left it inside my wife.
Babies grew.
I thought you meant a condom for a second.
I've heard those stories before.
The condom got
sucked in her pussy.
How does that possibly happen?
If your dick isn't
fucking hard, like if you've got a
small penis that's not hard,
it would just come right off, right?
It hasn't happened to me, but I've had scenarios.
Mostly we were young because we don't do this anymore,
but afterwards we'd stay for a while
just because we loved being there.
Whatever, not hard.
You came, you done.
You just cuddled that way for a bit.
It came off with my dick,
but I could see it not.
Do you just lay in there soaking for a bit?
Maybe no one else has ever
done that. I don't know.
It's just a very visual
description that you gave.
I've been there, done that, but
now I've got these mental images and I'm
wrestling with them.
Oh, you paint a picture.
Nah, dude, I just like to get in,
fuck, get out.
Get my nut.
Get my nut.
That's fuck, Chloe's only.
Why would I bother
with her?
Why give your partner pleasure
when you can just sit there and get at
she's lucky I didn't give her the heave.
It was interesting to see him at that podcast
with Fousey and whatever.
I don't know.
It just, it lended like a kind of credibility to him.
It was the North Korea summit, right?
Like Ice Poseidon, our Ice Poseidon was there
with like in the room while all this shit went down.
Yeah, I want him to take an AIDS test.
That would be a great episode of his show, right?
Wouldn't you watch that from beginning to end if he was like,
today we're getting tested for fucking AIDS because I fucked that nasty whore in Florida.
He should totally do that.
I think it comes in an envelope.
I'm probably wrong.
Pardon?
Back in the day,
you would get it tested
and they would mail you your results.
Well, you just get your blood done
and then...
I think I'm 20 years out of date.
I haven't worried about AIDS for some time.
Oh, okay.
Is it instant, like a pregnancy test?
Yeah.
It's super.
Oh, okay.
Yeah, I think it is.
After I started talking, I realized I was probably 25 years sedate.
I just know that they exist, that you can order an HIV test,
and it'll come to your house, and you can take it.
But now that you mention it, I never considered that it might be a thing
that you have to mail off.
Like a genetic test.
And the whole thing with it coming to your house was a convenience and getting around the embarrassment perhaps of going in and getting getting that but it's like
just getting your blood done yeah or blood work like they just take some blood and then
the doctor calls you in and says oh by the way you're good or yeah you're fucked yeah yeah it's either hey you're good or you know, you're fucked. It's either, hey, you're good,
or you should come in, I can't talk
about your results.
You tell me right now, or I'm not coming.
I'm going to pretend
like this conversation didn't happen.
I'm going out tonight, goddammit.
If you didn't tell me,
I could still do it legally.
I don't imagine Ice Poseidon
as someone who reliably takes his daily HIV meds.
He dies of HIV if he gets HIV.
I can picture him with those lesions, though.
Oh, he looks.
Those lesions would work.
He's probably already got some.
No, I've seen him basically shirtless and shorts and stuff.
He doesn't have any.
His back does have some.
I wish he'd clean that up.
It bothers.
Every time I'm taking a shower.
Is that what you didn't say?
Yeah.
It's unnecessary.
All he's got to do is bathe at least once a day.
Yeah, he's not frenetically disposed to incurable acne.
I literally told him how to.
I was like, oh, you just get this loofah off of Amazon.
It's got like a handle on either end.
You do that.
You know, you do a towel on your back like a sawing motion.
They make a little square rectangular pad with like little got a handle on either end. You do a towel on your back, like a sawing motion. They make a little
square rectangular pad with
little grippy handles on either end.
You scrub your back with that
and a little bit of acne
medication. You never get acne
on your back or your ass or
any of that stuff. It's just unsightly.
Every time I see it, I'm like,
I don't understand girls who are into guys
who have that going on.
If I was a girl, that'd be a major turn off obviously something they're overlooking look if you were if you saw a girl at the beach and the front was like a seven and then she turned
around and she had back knee that bumps her down to like a five for sure oh yeah yeah that's that's
very unfortunate especially for women like especially
guys can get away with talking about little like girly pimples like like like you're like shit i
could pop that one right now oh no i i i have um not bacne but it's like i sometimes occasionally
because i'm dairy intolerant i get like these spots if i uh if i drink milk and don't take my uh lactate pills
um and then sometimes i get it on my back and because because i've had it a few times they're
like these big fucking like pimples but you can't pop them but then or for some reason like they're
not you cannot form enough impossible right uh? But they still sometimes they open up, but nothing
comes out, and it's just a scar.
So I have
six spots on my back, exactly
where you can follow
the trail.
I can't tell you anything about it.
Kyle has a solution.
I wouldn't think I would have to have this conversation
with you.
These are the conversations I have with you.
With all my medical issues. You guys I wouldn't think I would have to have this conversation with you. These are the conversations I have with people on the site.
With all my medical issues.
You guys are hooking me up.
Dermatologist.
Two words.
Dermatologist.
Okay.
It's two.
Check.
I dare you.
When I...
I don't have any pimples right now.
Just prove it. But if I drink a liter of milk today, tomorrow, the day after, I'm going to have to shit every day.
You're drinking a liter of milk.
Right?
And then my face breaks out.
And my back.
Stop drinking milk.
It's not even that good.
If you're eating ice cream, I understand.
I don't know.
But, you know, obviously, like, ice cream or just food in general.
Go to a dermatologist.
There might be an easy fix for that.
I wouldn't care for that.
Personally, when I get any back acne, I'm like, ah, fuck.
Because sometimes it's in this weird spot that I can't even reach to pop.
That's the worst.
It's when you know if you could get to it.
You could immediately pop it and rub it down with some rubbing alcohol and it'd be all healed up.
But it's right in the middle of your spine, up high enough that you can't...
You're like... like reaching back there yeah that's the only reason to have children right there is
to help you pop your center of the back temples that's what they're good guys guys i have a list
of uh notes i took uh from today's doctor visit at pka um gotta get my lower back checked so before
before i get on the show again in the future you guys still want me um i'll get my lower back checked so before before i get on the show again in the future you guys
still want me um i'll get my lower back check i gotta go see a dermatologist yep is that one word
or two it's two it is literally one that's what i thought yeah anyways and i need to go for yearly
checkups uh you know start doing that now not when i'm 30 not when i'm 40 gotta Start doing that now. Not when I'm 30. Not when I'm 40.
Gotta start doing that now. Thank you so much, guys.
I have another thing. It's very small.
When you go to the doctor for your lower
back, I see a high probability of him
giving you exercises. These exercises
will seem stupid and gay.
They're gonna be like, touch your toes,
twist, bullshit like that.
And you're going to say, this is lame compared to the
exercises that I've done in the past.
You'd be surprised.
They are neither stupid, gay, nor lame.
They actually help do the bullshit exercises.
And you'll see results
quickly.
Yoga will help with that a lot too.
You do yoga for a week, your back will stop hurting.
Thank you so much, guys.
Next time,
I'll tell you guys everything about it.
Bullshit exercises your doctor give you are actually targeted and perfect for what you need.
P.K.A.
It cured my lower back issues.
Oh, my God.
Guys, click the link in the description.
Lowerbackissues.com forward slash P.K.
We use the dotiz domain around here.
Kyle, any outro words?
Yeah, I don't think so.
I should go ahead and double check, but I don't think so.
Social media things you want to pimp?
No, we're good.
Web, what's your new business?
Is there a domain?
Webble, it's called. At Webble. Webble. It's called at Webble.
W-E-B-B-L-E.
Webble Games.
Everybody go follow Webble Games.
How do you spell Quebble Cop?
K and then Webble.
And then.
It's W-E-B-B-E-L.
Yes.
With Webble, I switch it around.
Roger that.
But it's actually the name is pretty funny.
I went for a Quibble Cup, but I removed the K.
Then you have Webble Cup, and then I removed the cup, and then you have Webble.
I was like, oh, that sounds like a pretty dope name.
And then I just switched the L-E-E-L.
I think that's a good idea because if someone said Webble to me,
then I would spell it the way that you did.
Yeah, right?
Yeah.
Yeah, and that's the reason why.
Else it's like web-el, web-eel, web-ly, whatever.
Right.
Or like, okay, it's webble, but you need to understand it's not spelled like you think webble's spelled.
Yeah, right?
It's W-E-B-B-E-L.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So that's a mistake I made while making my YouTube channel.
And now it's like, okay, you know what?
Not going to do it again.
Not going to do it with this $100 million business.
You know, positive energy.
Yeah.
Bitch.
Read the secret.
All right.
BKA 396.
Manifest greatness.