Painkiller Already - Painkiller Already #411

Episode Date: November 9, 2018

On this week's PKA, the 38-year-old phenom known as OpTic H3CZ joins the guy after nearly 5 years! And what a great time it was, lots of time spent catching up on all the impressive things Hector has ...been up to, as well as strolling down memory lane about the OG days of YouTube. The fellas further discuss the potential punishments around our "No Rest November... and the first week of December" fitness competition as it is starting next week and then we review some footage of a good ole fashioned toddler fight club.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Painkiller already, episode 411 with our guest, Optic Hex. Kyle? New sponsors tonight, Monster Energy Espresso, PUBG, Lending Club, Squarespace, Movement Watches, Fallout 76. Support for today's show comes from Fallout 76, Bethesda Game Studios, the award-winning creators of Skyrim and Fallout 4. Welcome you to Fallout 76, the online prequel where every surviving human is a real person. Work together or not to survive. Fallout 76 will be available worldwide on Wednesday, November 14th, coming up. Pre-order now at participating
Starting point is 00:00:33 retailers and play the beta. Games play best on Xbox One. Also, what could be more evil than Nazis? Producer J.J. Abrams dares to imagine an answer. An overllord. A thrilling, pulse-pounding action-adventure with an unexpected twist.
Starting point is 00:00:49 Set in Nazi-occupied France a mere hours before D-Day, Overlord follows a team of American paratroopers who come face-to-face with enemies unlike any the world has ever seen. You'll have to see it to believe it. Don't miss Paramount Pictures' Overlord in theaters November 9th, ratedated R for strong, bloody violence, disturbing images, language,
Starting point is 00:01:08 and brief sexual content. Hopefully not too brief. Violence and sexual content are some of my favorites. Yeah. You know what's going to be good if it says gratuitous violence. You have to be on the lookout for that word when it comes to movies. Gratuitous violence
Starting point is 00:01:23 means people are getting limbs, fingers, things chopped off. I like a little torture. I like an appropriate amount of torture. Add some rape, if I'm being honest. Add something garish. Rape has to be done in the right context, Kyle. Back me up on this. Tasteful rape.
Starting point is 00:01:38 Whoa, okay. No comment on that. You want a tasteful rape in your movies. You know what's convinced me more strongly than anything? waterboarding is not torture is that it's really boring to watch in movies yeah like that's the form of torture that you're like really like you're you're wet like it's not as i know exactly i know it really sucks but you know why it's boring i want like permanent fingernails pulled out yeah It's the unrecoverable aspect to torture. The whole time, I'm like, wow,
Starting point is 00:02:07 that finger won't grow back. I feel like I need to protect myself. That's just... We started... Like, whoa. Favorite kinds of torture, Hex. Right out of the gate. What do you do when they want to leave the team?
Starting point is 00:02:23 I'm sure you've done a lot since we had barbecue together seven years ago in northern chicago uh what have you been up to since then i saw that uh i don't i of the three of us i follow professional gaming the least but chis linked me to something that like the owner of a baseball team is now involved in what you're doing it's gone i had no idea it was such a real deal like like there's an esports arena going up in arlington i had no idea it was this huge yeah that's uh that's that's uh my business partner neil liebman and uh ray davis they're the you know they're the owners of the texas rangers uh they're they were interested in esports they see the movement i mean there's been so much that's happened in esports in the last i don't
Starting point is 00:03:04 know three to four years that it's just been like super, super beneficial for not only the space, but, you know, individuals within the space. of just processes and you know sort of the blueprint that they created and how we as internet people can sort of you know take what it is and reinvent it somehow that fits you know our culture our way of consuming content did you have to make like a big pitch to these kind of like real deal like sports owners or i'm sure they're businessmen too, so they see the potential here and they want to get in as close to the ground level as they could. Yeah, and they did. They were very well researched. We met with a lot of people, and finally we ended up with this group
Starting point is 00:03:55 because I felt a sort of connection with Neil. So that's why I chose. All right, Hector. That's so cool. I've heard your story, and I think maybe in my head I blew it up. So you're literally from Mexico, right? You were born there? No, I was born in El Paso, Texas.
Starting point is 00:04:15 Okay. So to give an example, El Paso is right here where Biggie Smalls is, and then I live where Bruce Lee is. That's on the border. Rio Grande, it separated a bridge. I could get from my house where I lived to the United States in 10 minutes by car if there was no traffic.
Starting point is 00:04:34 So that's how close. I was born in El Paso, Texas, but my family lived in... My mom happened to work in the United States. So you just happened to be born in America. Correct. So you could be president. Now.
Starting point is 00:04:47 Of course. That explains why I was confused. We'll see. Dude. I'm in Texas now. How broke were you? I think I've taken your story and blown it up into my head into like comic proportions. Did you have running water?
Starting point is 00:05:00 We had running water. We, for a couple of years in my childhood we didn't have a a toilet so at night instead of having to go walk somewhere we would use a bucket essentially i don't think my dad or mom i don't want to talk about that but i don't think they used that i think it was just for for me and my sister uh so yeah all right they had a toilet they wouldn't let you use no yeah i just i don't think that they would want to get up to go walk to you know around the sort of place where we live to go use the public bathroom essentially from what i remember and did you always have food yeah yeah we had food it was really thin
Starting point is 00:05:38 food but it was thin you know it was still food yeah no food was always air conditioning no air conditioning in one of the houses i remember like towards when i was like maybe seven eight or nine we had ac yeah all right and then did you did you go to school in mexico america i did yeah i went to school from kindergarten all the way to seventh grade and then in eighth grade is when we moved to chicago how was your english i'm in texas now i had to learn my english well it was bad i didn't know any of it i mean i understood it because of the cartoons that i would watch and obviously i had cousins that lived in there so they all uh you know spoke english but uh i had to force myself to learn english because i was not
Starting point is 00:06:17 going to be one of the one of the guys that people made fun of for not speaking english that was always well i've always had this like sort of complex where I'm not, I don't know, I never want to be embarrassed of myself. And in this case, kids in junior high, if you have broken English, even some of your own people will make fun of you because you have an accent. So within the first six months, I believe believe is what my parents said that my english was just like you know good and i remember it being being good but not good enough to where i would be i would i would have like this issue with it but then uh within the next six months
Starting point is 00:06:55 it was all focusing of like on on getting rid of the accent and making sure that it's not there the only person to this day that says that i have an accent is my my wife judith she's she every so often if i'm done speaking spanish to somebody for like a 15 minute minute period time and i come back to english like some words will will be like a little bit accentish in a way so but i was gonna what'd you do career wise before youtube um at the age of 18 i decided that i was not going to go to college i went to college for like about a semester and a half uh-huh and i i remember i remember saying to myself i'm like i am not i am not a student so i'm like all right i want to make money i'm not i'm not gonna i'm not gonna be poor essentially i want to work with money because i want to make money you know i
Starting point is 00:07:42 want to live a certain lifestyle uh and i said all right i'm gonna work with money i I want to make money. I want to live a certain lifestyle. And I said, all right, I'm going to work with money. I'm going to work at a bank. So I worked at a bank as a teller. And then from there, I was like an assistant personal banker. From there, I went to work at a call center for Harris. Remember Harris Bank? I think it's BMO now. Yeah, I remember.
Starting point is 00:08:00 So Harris. And then from there, I went into the mortgage industry from 2003 to 2000 to whenever it blew up, the mortgage industry, because of subprime lending. Yeah, it was super hot at that time. I was burning. I was bringing in like 140 to 150 when it was hot. And then it blew up. And then I had to get a real job. I mean, not that that wasn't a real job, but a more level paying job. And I dropped from, if I remember correctly, I dropped from making $130 to $150, depending on bonuses and how good I was, to $45 a year.
Starting point is 00:08:39 And I had to give back, I couldn't afford my, at the time I had a navigator and my girl, whose wife now had to give back i had to i couldn't afford my uh at the time i had a navigator and my and my girl whose wife now had to give back her mercedes um so we can must have been made yeah a little bit yeah i was used to the finer things and then you but was it laid down dude let's explore that for a second so you say used to the finer things that's only part of it like were the finer things you own like a part of your sense of self-worth that you had to give back not yeah i mean yeah of course you know for me it's always been about making sure that my parents sacrifice was worth it you know for for my dad to leave his mom back and you know only see her like you know once every other year or whatever and you know and for for my mom to also leave her
Starting point is 00:09:27 family behind, although we have family here and, you know, my mom had, my dad didn't have any family here. Um, I had to, I always had like this, this chip on my shoulder where I'm like, I'm not going to let that sacrifice be something because I would never leave my mom behind ever, ever, ever, ever. Um, and you know, when, when I made it, when I truly, truly made it just recently, I just, you know, I bought my mom when i truly truly made it just recently i just you know i bought my mom a house and she doesn't have to worry about a mortgage ever again uh but yeah it was uh it was it was a self-worth does it have a toilet yeah that would have been fucking hilarious i bought you i bought you a seven bedroom, zero bath home. Jesus Christ.
Starting point is 00:10:05 Back at you, mom. In a spackle bucket. Yeah. So when were you doing the, like when did you meet Hutch in this? Was that during your 150 time, your 45 time after that? Oh, it was way after that. It was after my 45 time. Wait.
Starting point is 00:10:23 Because I remember that when I left AIG, which was my final job, and I was the account analyst in the private client group. So, you know, rich people. And one of my accounts was Facundo Bacardi, the great, great, great grandson of the Bacardi empire. So that was one of my clients. And we had a bunch of clients, but that was one of my focuses. I had to make sure that all of his art was covered. i had to make sure that all of his art was covered i had to make sure that all of his houses were covered you know there's the the amount of and you know i don't want to get too much into it because i don't know if they'll come after me this late in the game but it's been it's been at least
Starting point is 00:10:58 it's been at least 15 years he's one of our patrons yeah that would be like a good one to have uh so so yeah now the the reason that we moved here is is one of the one of the again one of the reasons why i i had to be successful and i'll get back to was it me losing a little bit of self-worth and yeah it was because you know accomplishing a certain level of lifestyle for me meant my parents not having to sacrifice what they did for what they did. And now the reason that we moved here is a little bit more fucked up. I was like 12. I was 12 or – yeah, 12 about to be 13 or 13 already about to be 14. I don't remember exactly.
Starting point is 00:11:43 But my dad used to – in Mexico, you can just apply to be a cop and you can be a cop. And my dad did that for a little bit. And he would do traffic and then he would do cop work, I think, if I remember correctly. I don't really talk to him about it because I don't have the balls to ask him. But at one point, he uh security for the lotto and when i say this is because it's it was like uh it's like i don't know if the mexican lotto is and it has to be it's obviously way different but you would go to a bookie you would put down your numbers and if they would run it they would hit it it would be televised and that so my dad would be would do
Starting point is 00:12:21 security for for this you know company i don't even know if it's a company who the fuck knows but on one of the pickups where he was you know walking around picking up the money uh he got carjacked you know gone gone to the temple the whole the whole nine and i if i remember correctly from eavesdropping on the conversations and i will ask him i'm fucking 38 now what's he gonna do you know what's he gonna do uh but if i remember correctly they took him to like a very secluded area i don't know if it was a cemetery or like a construction site or whatever but you know my dad thought that that was it for him you know and and i remember i was playing soccer in front of my grandma's house and he was walking up the, and you got to understand Juarez is a city. It's got some dirt roads, but they're like way off.
Starting point is 00:13:10 You know, the city is a city. It's got, you know, cement and shit. So when he was, he was coming up the hill, he was walking because we didn't have a car. He had blood coming down the side of his head and I'm like, oh shit. So I ran to him and I'm like, what's up, man? And I'm like, man, what's up? What happened? And he's like, oh, I bumped my head on the side of his head and i'm like oh shit so i ran to him and i'm like what's up man and i'm not man what's up that will happen he's like oh i bumped my head on the side of a air conditioning unit and two weeks later we're moving to the united states so that's that's that's what made my mom say we're not raising our kids here we got a lot of i bet a lot of that rough stuff
Starting point is 00:13:37 has spurred you on to have a real strong work ethic huh like seeing the sacrifices and and even the dangers it sounds like that yeah that your parents had to go through. How many hours do you work in a day? Oh, my God. What do you consider work? When your attention is focused on something else, and you certainly wouldn't call it your leisure time. You're not watching Netflix or just relaxing, watching TV, none of that. Your focus is is is on the game right you know making money running running your empire planning a new a new segment
Starting point is 00:14:12 of optic you know just talking with you know your partners that sort of thing uh so so lately i've been waking up at like 5 36 and 5 36 6 a.m and i spend that time from 6 to like 8 8 30 is like my catch up on emails and and all that um from 8 30 to 9 30 since we homeschool live i spend time with with judah and and live and then from there i just i come to the office of this office now which is my my studio and i have. And it's pretty much all go the whole time because I'm vlogging. Sometimes I play video games. I haven't been able to play video games in the last two weeks. But sometimes I stream.
Starting point is 00:14:54 But the majority of my true work is still a little bit of optic. Not a lot. But mostly just what my next project is going to be. Actually, for the first time, when was it? Not a lot, but mostly just like what my next project is going to be. And, you know, actually for the first time, when was it? This week, I just closed on my first investment since, you know, since the whole deal happened. I haven't announced yet what it is, but what I do is I think it's a pretty cool investment. So, you know.
Starting point is 00:15:24 I'm excited about hearing. I want to go chronologically. So you're... What happened here? You're down to 45. Did we get past that? Oh, you work your way back. You work at insurance. And somehow...
Starting point is 00:15:37 45 is the insurance. Oh, okay. Yeah. Real quick, though. Are you drinking a Capri Sun? Yeah. That's dope. I love it.
Starting point is 00:15:44 This is my vape. Oh, is this is my this is my vape oh that's great so how did you get like into youtube and and growing that because at some point youtube became not just a hobby but an ambition yeah so when did call of duty 2 come out that that game right there 2005 okay so in 2005 ish so for four years before well i started making videos in like 2008 ish so i was already on my way out from the from the aig world i was already like my brain was just the whole time I was like a space cadet and I was thinking and I came from a job where I was a top performer,
Starting point is 00:16:30 you know, company newsletter, front page, you know, like, you know, awards left and right. And then when I came into this thing, into IG, I had already been playing video games and sort of making YouTube videos, but it wasn't until...
Starting point is 00:16:46 So for two years... When did the whole monetization started? When we made... 2010, right? 2010? You started that. Yeah. I almost forgot. I helped. I didn't start it, but I helped.
Starting point is 00:17:01 I led the revolution for MCNs to partner individual channels for individual channels to be able to monetize their own shit. Yes. People don't know how many lives you changed. No, they don't. You got to be OG to know. I'll tell them. There was a time when to make money on YouTube, you gave your money to Machinima and then they would maybe grant your wish
Starting point is 00:17:27 of uploading that video for most people. So maybe some people auto uploads, junkyard, but yeah. And then Hex worked with them and I think essentially your position was, hey, I'm gonna go unless we can work it out so that my channel is also monetized. I'll make X dollars, a thousand views
Starting point is 00:17:44 and I wanna make money by uploading to my channel. And to keep him, they offered him that. And then because he got it, it extended to a bunch of other people, including me. Yeah, and it was sort of a deal where we were either going to leave as Optic, we're going to go to another network or they were not only going to give OpticJ a job as part of the deal you're going to hire
Starting point is 00:18:15 Jay to work in Machinima and on top of that you're going to give us the ability to upload videos to create a sort of mini MCN to where my players will give us you know videos for us to upload for us to monetize and then we would give them that we would keep 10% and we would fund the team that way we
Starting point is 00:18:33 would fund the travel we would fund at the time that it wasn't really a salary thing because we were allowing them to upload to to our to our channel it's all the nature like early Nate shot shot days merc and and all that um but yeah it was uh yeah i i i i talk about it but i don't remember like how often it is that i should i should bring that up more you know like people owe me money okay and i want to reparate Well, funny thing about that. So it was right there in 2009 is when I left AIG. But by that time, I had already for like six months straight, you think of Grizz and Grizz has 50,000 subscribers on youtube and i remember sitting there if i can pay money to have my my that you remember those flippy calendars that just yeah tiny little things that you flip i wrote down a whole bunch of ideas there and one of them was i'm like i need to i need to i don't
Starting point is 00:19:36 know why i've never heard of management i never heard of uh of of of an agent uh i don't think entourage was going on at the time if it wasn't maybe that's where i got it from but i'm like i gotta be zerg riz's agent and first order of business is get them on game informer they're gonna fucking be ecstatic at the fact that they're gonna have somebody who has 50 000 people watching them i don't even think that they have 50 000 people subscribe to it in my head and then i'm like all right that's for business second order business it would be really cool if we could have something called the zero hour where people can watch him play live and go for clips and and then i'm like all right cool so you know little by little i was thinking these fucking thoughts and little did i notice that i invented twitch you know in on that roland
Starting point is 00:20:21 but i think about that i think about about it a lot. At the time, Twitch wasn't a thing. Justin.TV, I don't think, was a thing at the time. But, you know, very early on, I'm like, I got to get a one-hour a day where he plays live and people can spectate him like a TV show. So, you know, little by little, my productivity started going
Starting point is 00:20:39 down. Judith's working with me at the time. We both, for the most part, for the better part of our careers, we worked together in the same company. We worked in the mortgage industry in the same company and we worked at AIG. I got lost. You and who worked together? Judith, my wife.
Starting point is 00:20:53 My wife, sorry. Jude. At the time, Jude's pregnant with Olivia. We have a good job to where we can make ends meet and all that. Then I leave because of disagreements with my manager. we have you know we have a a good job to where we can make ends meet and all that and then i leave because of uh of disagreements with my manager right she thinks that i wasn't performing right i wasn't so i pretended that i was and we had this discussion and we're like all right cool
Starting point is 00:21:15 well you know it's time to part ways so you were depressed maybe i wasn't depressed at all no no no well you were underperforming at work. You went from star to breakout star. I think I was in my space cadet mode where I was just daydreaming of different things. And just I don't, you know, I was like, I don't know. You kind of mentally checked out a little bit. Like you were focused on other stuff. Yeah. And, you know, I would pay close attention to my analytics.
Starting point is 00:21:45 You know, I got 2,000 views on this sniper clip or in that sniper video. How do we make that 4,000? How do we make that same person click the same video twice? A whole bunch of different things going through my head. And little by little, worlds collided. They crashed. I'm out. Judith's seven months pregnant.
Starting point is 00:22:02 So now I have like two months severance. And then for the rest of 2010, there's nothing coming in. Just the little savings that we had plus her work that she had. And then Machinima comes along somewhere in that 2010 era. And I told Jude, I'm like, baby, we're finally going to be able to make money off of what I'm doing, off of making videos for almost two years with no money, no way to make money. And that's what a lot of people – I used to get mad when people would call you, Woody, like a money whore, that you only did shit for videos. I've heard that. These kids or these same people don't understand that we all uploaded videos for free for fucking years with nothing but a thank you from the fans at the time. So it only makes sense that when you have the ability to monetize something and you really want to give it your all, you're going to have to make that your job.
Starting point is 00:22:58 And in order to make that your job, you have to be able to cover your cover you know your expenses you know your dad you know in your case you're you're you know you live with somebody or whatever the case may be you're gonna do that if somebody offers anybody that's watching this right now money to go do what they like whether it's playing soccer or whether it's whatever they're gonna fucking take it okay so anyway so we did that and and you know for a, she's like, show me the money. And I'm like, yeah, yeah, no, look at this top five kill cams. She did 1.5 million times 2.5 CPM. Boom, you were my first one, Kyle. You're welcome.
Starting point is 00:23:33 Yeah, thank you. You started it off. You won the number one spot, FPS Kyle. I remember that. And it got 1.5 at the time, 1.5 views. And I'm like, man, if you multiply it by $2.50, that's like oh my oh my god this one video life changing yeah i'm like holy shit this guy she's like show me no matter what so sure enough the cutoff of uh from the time we started to the quarter because it was 90 90 days that they paid was like 16 cents i believe and i was like
Starting point is 00:24:01 fuck you know i've been telling her for a whole year that you know it's it's gonna it's gonna happen and then all of a sudden 16 cents granted the second one was for like 26 grand and then little by little yeah it was hard to get motivated right like like yeah because when you're when you're like you're like the work I'm putting in today I'll get paid for 90 day you but you're not getting it 90 days from today 90 days from today they'll think about paying you and then maybe two or three weeks from then like you'll actually get the the paypal uh like like transfer and it was just like god damn it i it's hard to stay motivated and grind when i'm not getting that instant satisfaction satisfaction not instant but like
Starting point is 00:24:41 any job you know you get paid every two weeks or whatever, right? And you're like, ah, this work I'm doing today, getting paid for it in two weeks. X changed the world with individual channels getting paid. I changed the world with that. Like I was the guy, I sat down with the owners and I was like, man, here's some things we need to do this as a job. One, we can't have this kind of delay anymore. And that's when it became, you get paid for four weeks and then two weeks later, you get paid for that. And I was like, also, we need predictability in income. The way that you do it, we look at these things. We don't know which views are mobile, which views aren't. I want to be able to look at my analytics and predict my paycheck. If I can't do that, then I can't invest all my motivation into this. And they took that to heart and made a change for everybody yeah and
Starting point is 00:25:26 remember at the time they would be like uh you always have to assume that half of these views are uk and you guys don't get paid for uk views uh and i'm like okay so you know it's not 1.25 million views it's you know half of that uh do you guys remember that oh yeah yeah mobile european views like none of those counted. I remember when people would make videos and be like, hey, I'd also appreciate it, guys, if you'd not watch on your phone. I never said that. I couldn't say little things like that.
Starting point is 00:25:53 I remember people saying that. I couldn't get away with it. People were so on top of me for making money on YouTube. It was something unique to me. They had extra rules, I always thought, for me. I can't use the FAMAS. I can't make any money. I can't do this. I can't do that.
Starting point is 00:26:05 They were always eyeing me so carefully. It was the polar opposite of my channel, where I'd upload the same footage over and over with just different commentary, and they were fine with it. I used to envy guys like you. Whiteboy used to say, like, hey, you know, if you could, would you make my
Starting point is 00:26:21 YouTube channel your browser's homepage? And I was like, I would get roasted for that. Oh, yeah. I did that too. That was my idea. White Boy and I would brainstorm on these ideas. We'd be on my back porch at 3 in the morning like, maybe you could make a whole channel.
Starting point is 00:26:36 Like, it'd just be bugs. And he was like, yeah, people watch that too. I was like, yeah, they'll watch it, man. Let's just look at that bug over there. see that bug that's your first video he's like yeah upload that shit welcome to bug seventh street my eighth youtube channel 25 000 subscribers the next day quarter million views do you remember when he would do that with different channels like every other week he'd be like hey this is cat seventh street And I remember watching his Cat 7th Street growth and being like, God, I'm getting blown the fuck out by a cat.
Starting point is 00:27:09 There was a deeper strategy to that too. Because one of the things he'd do is he'd take all those channels and he'd run a targeted video as the default play on all those channels. So that would make that targeted video hit certain view thresholds to get on the youtube home page and then it would explode even bigger so he with all that you know i may make it up he had seven channels all pimping the same autoplay it would help him break the threshold to break oh yeah yeah he he is literally the man bro i the amount of like creativity that went into like how
Starting point is 00:27:42 to get people like to to click was fucking inspirational if anything else i remember this one time i was watching one of his videos and at the end of the annotations i clicked on it and it went back to the same video and in my head i'm like uh he probably fucked up let me send him a message but as i'm writing the message i'm like he didn't fuck up he did not that's another one of my ideas. Yeah. I put an annotation over the entire video screen, a borderless, clear annotation. Because you know what everybody does?
Starting point is 00:28:12 They click the middle of their video thing to pause it. They don't go down to the bottom left and click the pause button. Yeah. They click it and, oh, the video just started over. Whoops. Dude, those are all great ideas. White Boy, though, got away with stuff that made... Making your channel the homepage, I thought of that, but I can't say it. There were so many extra handcuffs on me.
Starting point is 00:28:36 Partly because I think I accepted it. In hindsight, when we ran the money's there, we don't care on the original PKA ads, it was like, look, we have ads on this show. Quit your pitching. Yeah, I never had to deal with any of that. I always told people, hey, man, I'm here to make money. As much money as I can make. I love money.
Starting point is 00:28:55 Don't you love money? We all love money, right? Big fan of money. If you just want to send me money, here's my PayPal. I'm not going to give you a thank you. I'm not going to send you a postcard, no ringtones. Just send me money here's my paypal i'm not gonna give you a thank you i'm not gonna send you a postcard no ringtones just send me money because i like the money did you ever get money from that yeah yeah people just send me money yeah absolutely i i'd sell my old gear like whenever i
Starting point is 00:29:17 was like like early days like when i was just doing gaming stuff i'd be like hey i'm i'm switching at from these old astros to the new Astros. I got these old Astros. Anybody want them? I mean, if you want, I'll fucking sign them. It seems weird to me. Fucking sell them for $300 or $400, shit like that. Like all my old gear, every old Xbox, PlayStation. Like, all right, enjoy it.
Starting point is 00:29:36 I never did anything like that. No reason not to. Yeah. You can't ever be like, oh, God, never apologize. You never apologize for being a businessman or making money or just trying to support yourself doing what you love. You can never apologize because then they got you. I didn't actually do that.
Starting point is 00:29:53 I never apologized. You are sorry, aren't you? I just denied it. Like, Woody, would you still make a video every day if you weren't getting paid? And I'd be like, you know, I think I would just make it on my own schedule. I'd make them as my mood struck instead of a job on a daily basis. I made two videos a day for years.
Starting point is 00:30:14 I remember that. You went hard in the paint for literally years. I'd sell you a friend request spot. I'm shameless. I remember that. Before I was friends with you In like 2009 or something
Starting point is 00:30:28 Like I saw one of your videos And it was like and you can pay me $25 for a friend spot And even then I was like This guy's not famous enough to charge For friend spots And yet There you go I'd make $1000 selling friend request spots
Starting point is 00:30:43 People who did that had unhappy customers a lot, though. I never wanted an unhappy customer. Because they'd be a friend spot, and they'd be like, do you play with all 100 of us all the time? No, I'm not going to play with any of you. You just made new accounts, and then would play with his real friends. We were talking about that in a
Starting point is 00:31:00 podcast, and what it was, it was more of a look who I'm friends with. So they weren't necessarily buying the opportunity to play with you, in my opinion. Weren't buying an opportunity to play with you. Yes, that would be the ultimate goal, sure. But it was more about people going there and being like, damn, who's he friends with? Holy shit, how the fuck did you
Starting point is 00:31:16 get FPS Russia on your fucking Twitter? You know, on that. Now that I think, I paid to play with Hutch once and I played with you that night. You probably don't remember that. I was no one. You're welcome. I had like 200 subscribers.
Starting point is 00:31:30 Hutch wanted money, I think, for an HD. Oh, new monitor. He needed a lot to record in HD. You needed a better monitor. You needed a better recorder. You needed a bunch of stuff. So I sent him money that seemed significant at the time. It might have been 20
Starting point is 00:31:45 or 50 like but he was only asking for like one or two so i way overpaid and i and i sent him a message i'm like hey i sent this what i really really want is just to play with you one night and that was it i feel like now my thirsting for hutch attention is embarrassing but that's how my whole youtube career started i watched his videos to learn how to play better and as I did, I was like, man, if he and I were on the same team, we'd never lose. Because I thought the videos, the games that he uploaded were his average games. I was like, yo, we
Starting point is 00:32:13 just win all night long. All night long. Hutchins, yo, don't miss Sniper and me. And that was what I wanted out of YouTube when I first started. Just to win games. Yeah. It's easy to forget how exciting it was to have that big YouTuber on your friends list. I remember when I played that one game with Woody, Kyle, myself, and Wings,
Starting point is 00:32:33 and I had Wings on my friends list because he had just added me in the pregame lobby, and I was like, hell yeah, somebody's moving on up. And then I ruined the spawn trap in that game, and he removed me, and that was the end of that I was on his friends list for about 11 minutes the first time I ever met Taylor it was a money thing
Starting point is 00:32:51 it was for March of Dimes but it wasn't called that it was like Walk of Dimes or something but it was with the March of Dimes I was raising money for children with birth defects and I think it might have been $50 if you did that much, I'd do a dual-com with you.
Starting point is 00:33:06 And that was how I first met Taylor. He donated to a charity. Yeah, cranial enlargement syndrome. I remember that. Well, cranial shrinking. Those poor little bobblehead babies. All right. So, Hex, back on you.
Starting point is 00:33:19 Yeah. So, you didn't found Optic. Did Jay found it? I don't know my history. I think it was like three people. Okay. Jay, crew, and some fucking
Starting point is 00:33:32 person, some other person. How did you lead it? How did it... Everybody left, and it was just me. So at that time, I'm like, all right, I'm going to recruit my brother. I'm going to recruit that. And then my brother's like, we should make videos on YouTube the way that Grizz is making. And I'm like,'m like yeah we should we're good with the sniper yeah so we're like we the whole sniper team became a thing just by happenstance that we just
Starting point is 00:33:53 all like the sniper rifle and you know little by little we started you know picking up people and we played so many 1v1s it was almost impossible to beat us in 1v1s because that's all we did and our advantage was the fact that we practiced with uh no steady aim and um and note that silence uh so when people would come in to play be like yo take off fucking steady aim and take off uh that silence and then they were just at a disadvantage because you know steady aim helped a lot back then so um so yeah for for years for years there was there was you know it was just me my brother and corrosive and like some other people um but yeah no i didn't but i made it what it is today i remember you made a video in modern warfare 2 and you're like um we're gonna stop doing the sniping competitive team because nobody can beat us yeah like no there's just no one out there on the planet who can put a team of snipers because nobody can beat us yeah like no there there's just no one out there
Starting point is 00:34:46 on the planet who can put a team of snipers together who can beat us and it's just getting old this isn't going anywhere we're gonna we're gonna we're gonna have to just find a new mountain to climb quit at the top yeah yeah and i was like god damn that's ridiculous like like no one can beat you and that was the case that was great that was great well it was it was uh again it was just a we we on we practice and then we made people play with the unfair advantage but even when they when they when they came on after competing they would still get demolished and then d treats came along and it was all over that you guys did that to me and i didn't realize what was happening right like yeah like we're playing on shipment. I'm doing snipers. I'm playing against Hutch and Hex and some other guy.
Starting point is 00:35:27 Like, I got my money's worth. And, but they're like, yeah, yeah, you know, these are the shipment 1v1 sniper rules. And I'm like not putting up a fuss because I didn't even know the rules. You know, I'm such a noob. Now I realize that, like, you were stacking the deck. I didn't know.
Starting point is 00:35:42 No, I mean, we let people come in, you know, weeks after they've been practicing rules of the cross. I didn't know. We let people come in weeks after they've been practicing rules of the cross. After a kill, you would have to get out of the middle part of the shipment so you don't spawn trap. All these rules that I made up just because it made competitive sense.
Starting point is 00:35:58 And then little by little, people started getting better and better. But even then, when you had Detritus on your team, it's just almost cheating because he was so good so goddamn good still to this day but he never played at the pro level right did he well he did he did for the cpl team yeah he played no not on the first he played in the cpls at the time do you know what his background was like when he started gaming like like because i i'm very interested in like the people who are at the tippy top of uh performance in video games like like because i i'm very interested in like the people who are at
Starting point is 00:36:25 the tippy top of uh performance in video games like like how young they started because i was i know shroud for example his dad was really into pc gaming like like in the early 2000s when shrab was like five years old or something they had a LAN center set up in his basement with like five or six pcs in a row with like whatever the best components were in 2004 2005 he's been he's been making doing flick shots since he was a toddler right so like like like when you see him now just fucking go off with 60 000 people watching live you're like yeah this guy was raised from infancy like a spartan warrior fucking do this shit yeah yeah no he's nasty man and then
Starting point is 00:37:05 when you start thinking about you know counter-strike players that are better than him in counter-strike then you think you start thinking like i am literally nothing in this world nothing but uh wings of redemption came to that conclusion fairly publicly yeah, there was a time where he thought he was, like he literally thought he was one of the best players on the planet. And he had a really small world, right? You know, he would just play pubs and beat games on the
Starting point is 00:37:36 hardest difficulty. Hector, you might you probably have never done that, but Wings can. No, never. Last campaign I played was crossing the rhine call of duty 2 but yeah and then when he got youtube famous and exposed to what great players really are um it was eye-opening for him it was hard to accept yeah no i mean i remember the video we played uh uh tom you know where the fuck you stream that shit or something and look at that that i will remember that for the rest of my life i will never i will never
Starting point is 00:38:11 forget that and i remember uh i met wings of redemption in person by the way when was it a couple of years ago and i got him a vip pass walked him in and all the whole night so i think we we squashed whatever we had, whatever little animosity we had towards each other at the time because I was really at one point, I didn't hate him, but I was like man, fuck that dude. Because him and
Starting point is 00:38:36 this dude, Blame Truth. You guys remember Blame Truth? You didn't like Blame Truth. I didn't know that. No, of course not. I'm going to tell you why. Yeah, I'm out of loop. From what I know, I might be wrong because it's years ago. Wings had him
Starting point is 00:38:51 because he had the gamer tag glitch where you can change your gamer tag. So they made a video of Wings beating me in a 1v1 but it wasn't me. It was Blamed Truth. And I was like, I've never fucking played you. Let's go right fucking now. I had no doubt in my mind that i was gonna fucking destroy wings i mean he's you know he's he's a camper right that's the deal i knew wings well we talked every
Starting point is 00:39:14 day i have never heard that that wasn't actually you oh yeah yeah no wings tradition never beat fucking optic hex no fucking way wings had this inferiority complex because he'd make these videos of him sitting in the back of the map with a thermal scope on popping fucking smoke with scavenger and fucking sniping people at long range through it and maybe getting like a 30 and 3 game and like dom not playing the fucking objective meanwhile hex and fucking hutch and all the optic guys and anybody else who like wanted to have their version of what was cool in the game are fucking running fucking like bouncing off you know doing super jumps 360s and like exciting gameplay where and and and they had this little war going on back of words going back and forth and i have recording does i have recordings i have recording wings cooked up
Starting point is 00:40:03 some propaganda like i have i have a recording of meings cooked up some propaganda, like he does. I have a recording of me talking to Wings. He's like, all right, man, let's fucking bury the hatchet here. And it was one of the first times that I ever spoke to a Southern draw, in a sense. I was just like, all right, slow it up for me. All right, well, let's talk. And I'm recording this. I'm like, dude, why did you pretend to beat me? You could have just played me and maybe beat me for real i don't know fucking good you are he's like well no yeah the only way i would play is if it's on uh what's that big map where
Starting point is 00:40:33 bog wasteland yeah wasteland that's where you got the it's like grass on the ground this kind of yeah yeah exactly there let's play on that we'll play snipers only and i'm like that's a big fucking map no and he's like yeah we'll use uh what was that the baby monitor thing that you oh my god heart heartbeat yeah yeah heartbeat he wanted to play with that i'm like i'm not fucking playing that shit come on that's boring man let's fucking let's play let's fucking do this shit and uh and yeah he ended up uh apologizing for faking it and that was that so he yeah i mean look it was so long ago i'll never forget to hear this old stuff i'll never i'll never forget it but dude this could be like a buddy
Starting point is 00:41:12 holly elvis like beef session and i'd still be interested in what happened back in the day wings wings had beef with so many people oh yeah yeah i knew they had that shit all the time no idea that was fake um you ain't gonna fucking beat me come on night my prime you see that that's a river city's finest championship three versus three hardcore tournament win right that's my only one two time blockbuster champion exactly um wow i didn't know that like asking like something else about the business like did it kind of suck when you hand it over optic to uh to that other guy like for majority control like did you kind of feel like oh my baby's kind of leaving no you're just more psyched
Starting point is 00:42:00 no it was my choice i could i could have had my way any day. The deal wouldn't have gone down unless I had my way. But no, I get to ask that a lot. I look at where I'm at in life and I look at what I've done for my family because I didn't just take care of my mom and my dad, also Judith's parents and our siblings and all that. and my dad you know also judith's parents and you know our siblings and all that uh and then i think about like what's like yeah it sucks uh some you know how it's gone in the last year but i i worked at it very very hard i put everybody's you know well-being before mine i there was there was a lot a lot of times where i was not about to make ends meet i needed 10 grand and i considered asking like like you know nade to let me borrow and he would have obviously given me the money to let it borrow but i'm like i gotta do this shit on my own you know to be a leader you cannot ask for help from your you know you have to lead you have to lead so i did whatever it could to you know to make it to make it work and eventually i did um so can we pause there there was a time when you were running optic when the players were doing better than you?
Starting point is 00:43:06 Oh yeah, the whole time. Yeah, of course. Yeah. So there was a time where... I always wondered if that was true. I had heard that as a truth, but I thought like, oh yeah, but... No, it was bad.
Starting point is 00:43:18 These owners are downplaying how much they make. That's what I thought happened. You know, I... I mean, shit. You know, I I mean, shit. Those countless years where Jude and I were just fucking stressed out where I was. Yeah, you're running at a loss because you believe in what you're doing.
Starting point is 00:43:33 And still, you know, I would pay myself like the very least that I could to do that and all the sponsorship money would go into salaries and expansion. Salaries and expansion. And for, I mean. Since 2010 to 2017, my first employee came in 2017 and that was Jay to come back to help me with some of the managerial work and stuff.
Starting point is 00:44:01 But I had to stop paying myself and start daily vlogging so I can supplement the cash that I was getting to live from Optic to pay him that salary. So even to the last day, to the last year, I was overworking. Not only was I running a business but creating content, daily content, mind you, both as an you know to to inspire the players to to you know that if i can do it you can do a sort of shit but you know mostly because i needed to pay myself and and that's that's how it ended up working out uh but yeah for like seven years it was just me myself and i and you know it it worked out so i can't complain right but i don't know it was a lot of times where it was looking grim.
Starting point is 00:44:46 And it would have sucked because the pressure wasn't just on me and what was going to happen in my house. It was going to happen, whatever happened to Optic was going to reverberate across the entirety of the esports realm, right? Because if Optic,
Starting point is 00:44:59 with the amount of sponsors that they have, are operating at a certain certain level if at any point something went wrong it'd be it'd be like red alert like all over the place because it's like all right well if it's happening it's one of the biggest esports organization in the world you know with with views that can actually convert into into ad sales you know what's the little guy gonna do right so it's it was was tough. Do you see any parallels with you taking the investment money and partnering up and what the UFC did with WME maybe? And maybe just bringing it up bigger things. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:45:37 Yeah. So again, I don't regret it at all because the new projects that I'm working on, I don't wake up. Every single day that I wake up, I'm working towards something, working towards something, working towards something. And that's a misconception that some people have where they think that once you get money and you're comfortable, it's kickback time. And I don't know who else I had a conversation with just recently where I said, you know, this past summer specifically, I forced myself. I forced myself to hop in my pool and enjoy the 110 degree weather with the Texas sun. I forced myself because I could. It would have been easy for me to come to the studio and worked on something.
Starting point is 00:46:15 But I'm like, I got to enjoy myself. I have to enjoy the fruits of my labor in a sense. But yeah, it was – no, I don't regret it, but yes, it was rough. That's what I, I've been anxious to talk about that. So I found myself in a similar position. I was kind of heads down for a long time. You know, like I had millions
Starting point is 00:46:35 and I still lived in that house I bought in 1999. And then after a while, I was like, like this isn't bringing me happiness. I think the thing I want to buy is my time, right? So that was like my big purchase. Like, I'm just going to stop working so gosh darn hard. Yeah. I guess my question for you is like, how much is enough?
Starting point is 00:46:59 When are you going to buy that? Someday you will. It's 70, you will, right? I think. Yeah. What drives you to do another business like or whatever this investment can you give us a hint is it is it like real estate or is it entertainment somewhere is it it's uh it's a it's it's it's entertainment okay it has a little real estate component to it um i don't know it'll it'll be
Starting point is 00:47:20 announced very soon i'll tell you off off offline okay um but but there's something that inspires you to roll the dice again because it sounds like there's a risk component. Maybe you're investing into it, right? No. You're not putting your own money up? I am, but it's not something that would risk anything. There's nothing but upside. you know, it's once I, now that I've done this, it's like, all right, how do, how do me and my guys, you know, continue to do this? Because, you know, I don't, you know, it's not, it's not an alone thing for me. I, you know, I have a team, Seth's right here and, you know, I, I, I bring
Starting point is 00:47:54 him investment opportunities all the time for him just to, you know, maybe say yes or maybe say no, you know, and, and it's, and it's everything, you know, we just, uh, it's, we just met with a, with a, with a vodka company. I won't say the name, but we just met with a with a with a vodka company i won't say the name but we just met with a vodka company that's you know there's an opportunity there and and for me it's like it's like how can i apply everything that i've learned in the last seven years and then build another business off of off of that you know from an advertising perspective like uh i i've i've ran a very very clean camp my entire year to where i didn't i've never been like fucking buy that and it's a fucking shitty product right i always i it was just not my thing ever ever ever uh you
Starting point is 00:48:32 know when we when we sponsored with people we sponsored and it made sense because it fit the program and fit you know our lifestyles um so yeah so it's it's one of those one of those things where i don't know it's really easy working things where, I don't know. So why do you want to keep working? That was like the core of the question. You want more money? You need to be worth. Yeah, it'd be nice. It needs to be worth three commas.
Starting point is 00:48:53 Nine digits? Like that's what you're looking for? Three commas is a billionaire, right? Yeah. That's a lot of commas. Yeah. I don't know what it is all i know is that all i know is that up until i started doing this and all the endless hours from the time i was you know 11 years old and i would
Starting point is 00:49:14 help my uncle carry groceries from el paso to juarez walking like you know 20 miles or whatever uh and and then you know helping him mow the mow the lawn or going to work with him at the factory that him and my dad used to work at or helping my grandfather cut up cardboard boxes and then you know sell the cardboard and then take and go shovel or sweep garbage into the garbage dumps i've i that none of that work has ever compared to to what i'm doing now because i don't consider this work because i know what work is this is like so this is more like a project that pays well you know and so let me ask you this is is uh is part of your motivating factor to a legacy or is or is or is part of it a fear of
Starting point is 00:50:00 going back to maybe sweeping garbage again someday uh i mean yeah i mean to its very core i'm pretty you know going back to that or having a worse having my kid do that is just not something that that that and and and i will say this though like i never had to work as a kid i always i just wanted to you know a you know i had you know if i wanted to buy something else or you know as a kid i don't know if you guys can see it anyway so you remember the tops that you spin it and then you yeah so shit like that right some you know for my parents never made me work it was it was my choice to do that very early on um so yeah it's legacy man it's it's it's the ability to to be able to take care of my kid and my kids's kids and their kid's kids without bringing you know uh sort of bringing up assholes right because it's it's really easy to become an asshole when everything's handed to
Starting point is 00:50:51 you and you know luckily my wife and i are on the same boat when it comes to that that you know she started working when she was 14 you know she worked at mcdonald's and you know she's she's always been a super super hard worker like me so we want to sort sort of, you know, put that sort of, those sort of values on, on not only my daughter, but you know, my brother's the same way with his kids and my sisters and all that. And then on her side of the family is the same thing. Her dad worked two jobs and, you know, for all their lives. So yeah, it's, it's a, yes, never, I never want any of my family members to, to grow up the way that I grew up. but on the same side i i sort of feel sorry that they'll never ever be able to experience what i've experienced because of what it's made me do in my
Starting point is 00:51:30 lifetime it almost seems like it's scorekeeping like i have a bunch of questions let's sit down like and one of them is how much is enough that's how i phrased it to and it all sounds like nothing's enough you're just running up a high score at this point it's because money stops having that like if you i'm gonna make a let's say you're worth $500 million, and then we increase that to $550 million. That hasn't done a lot for you. I disagree with you on that one, by the way.
Starting point is 00:51:53 At some point, money is just... You can go into Target and get anything you want. Yeah, but if your standards are that low, then $2 or $3 or $4 million is... I mean, I can go to Target to target and get anything you want yeah if but if your standards are that low right then then then two or three or four million dollars is why would i mean i can go to target and get whatever i want even the tvs and stuff but going from but going from 500 million to 750 million you
Starting point is 00:52:17 absolutely step up to a whole new class of living right like it depends on the things that that you want in your life like do you do you want a jet do you want a silly yacht do you want a home in spain do you want a sports team or are you you know it would would just have i want it all a nice house you know in your the state you live in just one house and one pool and like one car that that's that that's nice if that's all you aspire to if that's if that fills you with complete contentness then of course you're good there but a lot of people are like dude i i want three wives i want to i want my own island i want i want i don't want one super yacht i want
Starting point is 00:52:55 a fleet i want a super yacht making company you know like all i wanted you'll be a terrible money right fuck you money to me was defined as like not being beholden to anyone getting to do what you want to do like it's a fuck you money meant that I didn't I don't meet with my boss every week and try to impress him right and there is a time at Cisco where like I guess I still do I think I was smarter than my boss. And every week I would go in there with like my list of accomplishments, hoping that I walked away with him like feeling proud of me.
Starting point is 00:53:31 And it's like, who the fuck is this guy? You know, like... He doesn't even own the company, right? Yeah, like he... I felt like I did his job better than him, my job better than him. Like he was just there before me. And no offense at tool but uh but um yeah and and i don't i don't want that again i don't want to yeah i don't want
Starting point is 00:53:54 to call it groveling because it wasn't that it was just walking in there prepared with my list of accomplishments so that he knew that i kicked ass last week and when you get away from that that's the most valuable thing you can buy according to me freedom what do you think like let's say you keep skyrocketing hex like you're you know on the cover of forbes or something in two years what's the biggest thing you can see yourself purchasing like if you go like uh bananas you know more money than you can dream of are you the kind of person that would be like hell yeah yeah, I want a dope yacht, or yeah, I'll get a G6 plane.
Starting point is 00:54:28 I probably wouldn't do a yacht, or I would maybe do a jet, but I don't know. You'd be too small. An island? Come on, you want your own sports team? You want the Houston Astros, or the Dallas Cowboys?
Starting point is 00:54:44 Ten years from now you can buy your partner's team right welcome to the optic he bought it to yours flip it on him you know if someone's welcome to the optic dome home of the dallas cowboys fucking jerry jones over there crying his eyes out like that's legacy yeah you know yeah yeah what's funny is that the i'm in texas i don't know if you guys if you guys caught on to that. But I'm in Frisco, Texas. And Jerry Jones has the Cowboys corporate headquarters like five minutes from where I'm at right now. I'm part of the private club there. So there's like an 1,100-person waiting list and all that because of my – I just got pushed up a little bit at the beginning of last year.
Starting point is 00:55:27 And you sort of – What club is this? I don't know uh cowboy club that's what it's called oh that doesn't mean anything to me is it it's like the soho house it's a perfect like it's more it's more for it's a rich people club yeah pretty much but it's more for for like you know networking and business opportunities it's a rich people club what do you do in the Cowboy Club? Do you attend games? Today? Yeah, you can. You can watch it. It's a practice field. You can watch them practice. Today they were practicing live. You can sometimes see Jerry Jones
Starting point is 00:55:54 land his helicopters. It was more of a business networking thing for me than anything else. But the food there is fucking incredible. Lamb meatball, shishito peppers, ahi tuna as starters, and then you go into the 44 Farms Medium Well.
Starting point is 00:56:09 Do you pay annually to be a member of the Cowboy Club? Yeah. Can you share that? How much that is? I can't. But there's some membership initiation and all that, but I'm trying to get them to open it up or lower something a little bit so
Starting point is 00:56:26 young younger people can go in there um because you know at times in the night time it's not as cool i've been to dinner there with my wife a couple of times it's just like not could be could be better in my opinion um but i don't know what i would i don't know what i would buy that'll make me do that i i'm a i like being in this space just because I get to do stuff like this. I can stream if I want to. If I want to have a business meeting, I can have that. Traveling the world and all that doesn't – so me saying that I want an island almost doesn't even make sense
Starting point is 00:56:58 because how often would I go to the island? What the fuck am I going to do on that island? Because I'm not going to be – does it have internet? It's a question of what makes this up to me. You have homeless people fight to the death on your island? Does it have internet? You have homeless people fight to the death on your island, of course. Absolutely. That would be crazy.
Starting point is 00:57:13 YouTube would monetize it. When I pull a lever, the plexiglass floor slides out and the shark's under there. That would be my rule of my island nation. There is no extradition to any nation on earth, so you're welcome here if you committed a heinous crime, but you have to fight for your right to live versus another person who committed a heinous crime. Well, because I'm a multi-billionaire. I want to watch bloody battles in my island dome.
Starting point is 00:57:35 How will your population ever increase if every time someone comes, someone dies? No, this is my island. Population one. It's on a sign when you walk in. It's just me. So when he wins, you just snipe him. It's very lonely. Just a lonely billionaire
Starting point is 00:57:51 alcoholic watching rapists murder each other. That's the life. Yeah. Who's the guy that wrote Minecraft? Oh. The least creative billionaire on the planet That's sad sack
Starting point is 00:58:08 I know him as Notch That's what he could be doing now Notch made some post online Like three years ago And we're still upset about it Not depressed about it Just like get out of here you bitch I just don't know how to be happy.
Starting point is 00:58:26 You know, I got all this money, but I don't have happiness. That's when we did that bit where we were like, dude, Notch, reach out to us. Either of us will be your minister of fun. And you will never have a boring day with us around. You'll have rapists murdering each other. You'll have just that's only one. Whores. Many good ideas.
Starting point is 00:58:44 Lots and lots of whores. Lots of whores lots of whores the whores will fight they say money can't buy happiness dude we can hook you up with tons of pretend pretend friends i don't i don't know i don't know i i you know i i guess there is a that's that's you you can't buy happiness i i'm glad that i've always been like a really you know fun person i think that i've i've been very lucky to not suffer with any of that so when you said like were you depressed i was like no i don't i don't even know what that would it wouldn't what that even means um so yeah no i i don't know man i what one thing i do want to do uh you know it's as early as next quarter is i want to figure out a way to go back
Starting point is 00:59:26 to the school that i went to as a kid and just like not only remodel it but like hook it all up and i'm not fucking paying this for my own lebron no no no he's pulling a scott's tots yeah yeah yeah yeah now i know i told you that you that you don't go to college five years ago before Optic 100. Laptop batteries for everybody. Everybody. Dude, you know what I used to want to do when I was, I guess, at my most, when I was at my peak? I wanted to be a commencement speaker. I was like, I wonder who they have like at Ocean City High School and whether that guy is a better speaker or a bigger deal than I am.
Starting point is 01:00:08 How awesome would it be to return to my alma mater, high school alma mater, and be the commencement speaker? But that desire is past. First speaker, we have Lance Corporal David Stevenson with his silver star for saving five of his comrades in Afghanistan. Second speaker, we have Woody's gamer tag. My high school had like... He's a 10th prestige, the unexceptional gamer.
Starting point is 01:00:35 He was a 10th prestige in Call of Duty 4, a 9th prestige, yes it was a glitch lobby in Modern Warfare 2. That's true. Yes, it was a glitched lobby and modern warfare, too. That's true. No, no. Well, my high school would be like, you know, this guy is in charge of all the parking meters in Ocean City. The whole town, you know, bought his house in quarters because he's a thief, speaking at our high school commencement. Like, we didn't have big athletes or real celebrities.
Starting point is 01:01:04 You know, you see, like, Bill Gates or Steve Jobs doing the commencements at like ucla that's not what my high school was like you know there were people you'd never heard of before and you're like here's the yeah whatever assistant notable guy we ever got to speak not in a commencement just generally was that dude with like only a little bit of his lower jaw who scares you out of smoking yeah i love that guy he's like i used to be like you i thought it would never catch up to me don't end up like me and it's like you can't even anymore man that scared the shit out of me if anyone would like to fuck my throat hole it's 14 i'll see you in the parking lot they don't actually pay me to be here. I'm very depressed. I live in my car.
Starting point is 01:01:46 The batteries on my throat box are running. He's selling throat hole fucks for batteries. Jesus Christ. PKA reaches a new low. Didn't think it could happen. I'm glad it was with me here
Starting point is 01:02:05 Moral of the story kids Do not smoke Get yourself an eBay vape Or a Capri Sun A Capri Sun I've never seen someone make a Capri Sun Last that long that's the most impressive thing
Starting point is 01:02:22 He's just Sucking sugar gas Out of it at this point The smell of Capri Sun last that long. That's the most impressive thing. He's just sucking sugar gas out of it at this point. The smell of Capri Sun. Dude, congratulations on all the stuff you got cooking. That's pretty cool. Can you type in the chat what your next investment
Starting point is 01:02:38 is? I thought you said you were going to. I don't know. Under lock and key, Woody. Under lock and key. I misunderstood. He's dealing with MLB team owners. You got to be careful with this kind of shit.
Starting point is 01:02:52 Okay, listen. I will say this. I don't want to be kicked off the private jet. All right? I see where you're coming from. Yeah, you don't want to do anything. That must be cool to be on a private jet. I've never even flown first class.
Starting point is 01:03:02 I don't want to because I don't want the experience that Kyle always describes and then having to go back to coach. Dude, first class is wonderful. And it's not like – I believe you. It's not – oh, Skype just said, are we losing you now? What the fuck was that? That's literally something I typed to Hector because he said he had to leave at 8.15.
Starting point is 01:03:19 It popped up and it was blue. Yeah. No, he's central time. No, no, I'm good. I'm good, I'm good. Let me tell everyone about Monster Energy Espresso. This episode of PGA is brought to you by Monster Energy Espresso's delicious new espresso drink. When you need an extra burst of energy but don't have the time to wait in line, grab Espresso Monster. Espresso Monster is a premium blend of smooth espresso and cream packaged in an 8.4 ounce can.
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Starting point is 01:04:26 caffeine, and I don't get the shakes like I do with Redline or some other shitty energy drink. These things are delicious. I love them. Big fan. Today's show also brought to you by PUBG Mobile. Experience PUBG Mobile, the mobile game IGN calls a remarkable
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Starting point is 01:05:46 provided in the episode's description. Play now. Nice. Check those things out. Awesome. I'm going to go download it right now. Can we talk about the fitness challenge thing? Yes!
Starting point is 01:05:59 Before that, what's the deal with the beard, for real? Oh, well, last week we made that our Halloween episode, and I came as Jesus Christ. And I bought this whole Jesus Christ robe. It was lovely, and it came with a beard and a wig. And I used that beard and wig for the episode, but I didn't know if it was going to be high quality enough and it was going to work out.
Starting point is 01:06:20 So when I bought that, I also bought this glue-on beard as well as a uh a professional wig and i i i just i just had those extra and you know we were an hour before the for show time tonight and i saw my beard lying there this is real hair and uh and and i was like i'm gonna glue some homeless person's beard to my face so why didn't you glue the beard for the halloween episode uh because this is homeless jesus like for the Halloween episode? Because this is homeless Jesus. This is not a Jesus beard.
Starting point is 01:06:49 You look more like an Amish Jesus. It's ridiculous. This is not what Jesus' beard looked like. They told me to boil it and that would make it curly. I boiled it. It just got all weird. You boiled a costume beard? It's not a costume beard. This is real fucking hair.
Starting point is 01:07:05 So some Indian woman had to lose hair, get it chopped off for this bit? No. No. Yeah. Definitely not Indian. It smells like grilled water. It doesn't smell bad? That's what you're doing?
Starting point is 01:07:18 No. It doesn't have that immigrant stink to it. It doesn't smell like curry. So, yeah, the show was coming up, and I was like, fuck, I'm going to glue a beard to my face because I want to. And I was trying to get... It looks good. It does look good. Yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 01:07:34 It's going to be hell getting this off. I use a lot of spirit gum. I've had prosthetics put on before and used spirit gum, and it does not want to come off. How long do you think it would stay on there if you just allowed it three or four days of like showering for sure do you think you could make it to pkn on tuesday you wearing that still could i and would i are two very different questions taylor fair enough it would be disgusting can you imagine getting out of the shower and it's just soaking wet and cold on your face well it's starting to curl after three days. I'm at the grocery store and it's all matted together and shit.
Starting point is 01:08:09 And people are just giving me weird. No, I'm not doing that. But, you know, I had a beard, so I thought I'd put my beard on. That's all right. Yeah, it's really good. A little long. When I came on, I'm like, there's no way, is it? I'm like, when was the last time I seen this guy?
Starting point is 01:08:26 Not seven years. It that for a while tell me about this a fitness challenge so you guys invited a man I'm gonna have to decline but go on Kyle would you lay it out this way lay it out in ten seconds we talked about this on PKN and at the very end of PKA so I want at least one time for us to say it when people hear it yes so do it very briefly because i've got a uh hex related question i know we're limited on time for him so joe rogan and uh on his podcast did this whole fitness thing that we're using the mz3 my fitness uh uh belt which goes right below on your chest, right below your titties, and it measures your heart rate. They have a proprietary scoring system for measuring effort. These are called
Starting point is 01:09:11 my zone effort points, or MEPs for short. And every minute that you spend with your heart rate in a certain level of its maximum gives you a different amount of MEPs for that minute. Obviously, higher gets more MEPs, lower gets less MEPs, and resting gives you no MEPs. So we're competing for most MEPs in a month. Has anyone died from this? No, not yet. We haven't started yet. Taylor's belt is defective in some manner,
Starting point is 01:09:39 and if you want to tweet at my zone, there will be a link in the description of their Twitter. Tweet at them and be like fucking at Taylor or whatever your... What's your Twitter handle? Merka Durka. Follow me for the updates. Yes. At Merka Durka wants his belt. And then at us all
Starting point is 01:09:56 and be like, we're doing a competition. We want this thing to work. They haven't gotten back to Taylor in a timely manner. And they are holding us up. We have had the delay. I was ready to start last night at midnight. We were all to get going i'm all chock full of stuff i started anyway it won't count but i did yeah and i got rowing machines i've got under desk peddling devices like like i'm ready to fucking go over here i bought the watch that goes with the thing this is the the my zone watch it was 60 fucking dollars and. And I overnighted it so I'd have it on time.
Starting point is 01:10:25 And it doesn't even matter. It's like $30 of shipping that's wasted to those people. So yeah, at them, be like, come on, get back to us. Because Taylor's Belt is giving him information from someone who worked out in 2015. Now, they worked out hard. I was texting everybody like, so are you guys not getting your results right? Because it says I had a great month in September of 2013. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:10:47 And I bought this yesterday, so it can't be right. Did you buy it new? Yeah. Yeah, I bought it directly from him. And so there's something up with the information relay. He got a fucking refurbished. Taylor paid full price. All the people sweat, bro.
Starting point is 01:10:58 And he's got some refurbished model that you people sent him, and we don't care for it. All right? We're trying to do a competition here. There are hundreds of thousands of people who care about this. We are invested. I want to die. I'm amped up. I'm ready to go. There are prizes that matter for first through
Starting point is 01:11:14 fourth. It's the three constant hosts on the show and Chiz is in it too. There's four of us competing. The prize that I care most about is the belt. There's a belt like a world champion boxer would have right like a big gaudy thing with i don't know medallions on it or something i would really like to have that that is my my number one thing um and then in the third and
Starting point is 01:11:39 fourth places it's not just like prizes you don't get it's punishments so that is supposed to be a motivator too people have talked what are the punishments that we've talked about so far beard shaving which is not punishing to me um eating one of those one chips like that's spicy yeah okay eating something really spicy uh i like all my ideas for punishments are more content driven instead of humiliation driven. And I think that's going to win out in the end with listeners where I think if you lose, you have to like make produce and put out there like a five episode YouTube
Starting point is 01:12:16 series. It can be a solo podcast yourself. It can be going back to gaming for like five episodes or something, but you have to put content back up on your channel. It could be five episodes, 10. I don't't know but i think the loser should have to make content what if you used your um second channel or you could even use your any channel kyle just use my channel i don't give a fuck look i'll you make forth any fucking thing you wanted to be because i'm gonna be first in this thing i'm gonna destroy you bitches woody with his old man heart is gonna
Starting point is 01:12:43 crumble and die away early on he's gonna blow himself out tear something chiz is probably just going to die okay and and taylor just doesn't have the time it's it's not even a competition it's it's it's a competition for for second right now so so i i make fourth punishment whatever you want make make it getting railed in the ass live on the show. Make it shaving your head. Make it getting your nose pierced. Make it getting a face tattoo of whatever someone wants.
Starting point is 01:13:10 I'll do anything. I don't fucking care because I'm not getting fourth. I'm not getting third. I'm not getting second. I'm winning this thing. Please include this in the montage if he doesn't win, fans.
Starting point is 01:13:18 Yeah, include it. Someone's trying to provide some entertainment here, goddammit. So you... Talking shit is what you're doing I like it I like the shit talking I hope it motivates you to get a few meps Dude
Starting point is 01:13:35 So here's what's happened thus far Taylor's worked with Ineffective customer support That's his progress Chiz and Kyle have spent a bunch of money on exercise equipment they haven't used. That's their strategy, it would seem. I think that's like 90% of the population,
Starting point is 01:13:53 though. They buy it and they never use it. And I'm out there testing shit. I'm doing activities. I'm hitting the exercise bike. I'm out there kiting. Just seeing what kind of activities provide what kind of meps. Bro. so what i was gonna say is that can't you just get on your on your paramotor
Starting point is 01:14:11 and like shut it off mid-flight no no it's heart rate oh well i think that's what he's getting at but yeah yeah like i i guess being terrified would work if you could simulate that somehow but um but yeah what i'm actually doing is just finding out what kind of things I do translate into what kind of meps I earn. I would argue that it hasn't even started yet. Buying exercise equipment that you haven't touched,
Starting point is 01:14:36 I'm unimpressed with what you've got going on so far. I'm not trying to impress you. I'm letting you know I'm unimpressed. I'm not looking for your admiration Mr. Woody Well you don't have it that's a good thing I wouldn't want it
Starting point is 01:14:49 He was bragging about how much his exercise bike cost I absolutely was not You were too You're a liar I was not I pointed out I was talking about how much Chiz's under desk Exercising machine cost
Starting point is 01:15:04 You got the $40 one I got the $60 one And Chiz's under-desk exercising machine costs. You got the $40 one, I got the $60 one, and Chiz may have gotten this $300 under-desk peddler. Oh, I saw that when I was looking at that. Can you really get something going under-desk? The thing is, Hex, it doesn't take that much. So I'm going to share with the people what it does to earn stuff. You only have to get to 50% of your max heart rate in order to start earning points.
Starting point is 01:15:27 And so you don't have to be like blowing yourself out 24-7. You can do like semi, a little bit strenuous stuff and still get yourself to that threshold. Yeah, that's the kind of thing I was experimenting with. I don't want to share the results.
Starting point is 01:15:39 But I was just looking like, you know, if I do this, what do I get? If I do that, what do I get? So you're cheating. You're getting some advice. It's research. This is research. Anyone can do it except for me.
Starting point is 01:15:49 Cheating by dragging my ass into a field and doing stuff. Yeah. Oh, your favorite activity in the world. It must have been hard. I didn't actually. Can we take a minute or two to make fun of Chiz for spending $350 on an underdesk peddler? That is insane to me. He's suffered enough.
Starting point is 01:16:08 I bought one too for like $70. And you can stand on it and do it if you want. Like, that's $350. His has an iPhone app that you can use with it. Mine doesn't plug in. It just gives you notifications every five minutes. You're a fool for having spent money on a $350. The person posted this on Amazon like, you know, it's only worth $25.
Starting point is 01:16:32 Someone, some retard is going to buy it. That thing looks pretty cool. I can see why it was attractive to him. I can see why it's better than mine. But all I wanted to do is just if you can keep yourself in the MEP zone a lot, I think that's a big part of it. And part of what I learned was personal to me. Again, I don't want to share too much. But how hard should I dread versus should I like?
Starting point is 01:16:55 What kind of points I get on return for that? I'm out there experimenting. I've already got plenty of good ideas. I've picked out a dangerous alley nearby to run in to keep me constantly afraid. I might go to East STL and turn text to speech on and create a Twitch account. That'll keep me running.
Starting point is 01:17:13 I've seen the kinds of things people type in to say over there. Did you see that? You saw that clip, right? The guy who was sitting in the DMV. Is that what you're talking about? No, this guy that went trick-or-treating and he walked he walks off he's like give me all your candy you cunt or something
Starting point is 01:17:32 the girl's like the girl's like and then he said you know other shit and the girl's just like oh my god and then closes the door but yeah i don't know but i don't know about those i don't have anything about against people i don't think i could ever ever see myself inconveniencing somebody especially a stranger for a prank you know what i'm saying i just i can never like even those the street pranks where i just can never see this i don't watch those because it like it hurts me inside i'm like oh it makes you uncomfortable it gives you a little stomach ache doesn't it where you're like i would totally wear that band and watch that and beat all of you that's how much my heart races the best the best example of that there's a show called impractical jokers yes four buddies that will make you cringe
Starting point is 01:18:14 so hard basically like the other three guys are in the other guy's ear and he has to do an embarrassing thing in public and they are the most embarrassing things you can imagine in public they are just rough like going I don't like that expense of someone else. They're making a fool of themselves. Yes Well is it is that is that how it goes because I thought I saw somewhere where they at they make the dude ask the girl if she's pregnant and She was just a little heavy set and I right there. I was like, I'm gonna see that's fucked up Yeah, cuz you know you if I'm my name all fucking business, I don't need you coming in and calling me fat.
Starting point is 01:18:47 You know what I'm saying? It's fucked up. So I know what it is because it was on Netflix. And I was running. I'm like, I can never – would never be able to bring myself to do something. You lost the challenge, Murr. You got to go fucking pickpocket that bodybuilder. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:19:04 Oh, you know what? It's shit like that people have talked about um i think going on a pka adventure type of trip some sort of group vacation and uh and that like the it's funded by the bottom half of the group and the top half doesn't have to pay for it we've talked about that i would like first place to choose it i think that would that would mean a lot that'd be something i'd really want too because i i would choose a place to choose it. I think that would mean a lot. That'd be something I'd really want too. Because I would choose a place where we do something, right? It would be some sort of zip lining
Starting point is 01:19:31 through the South American rainforest or we could go skiing up north. Kyle, you cannot lose this competition. Yeah, if Kyle wins, it's going to involve Uber Eats and Magic the Gathering or something. It's going to involve something you'll hate i can't imagine what that'd be i can't what is something oh i'd love that give a good one oh
Starting point is 01:19:54 oh there'd be there'd be casinos there'd be bright lights there'd be crowds it'd be great oh there'd definitely be it it would be very fun yes i'd be down with that one as well that would be very interesting winner first place is where we go vacation yeah i like that idea damn it i know i'm not gonna win you're the favorite taylor everyone is picking you to win they don't realize the time difference that like available time that i have compared to you and kyle like it's just i some people have said. I think that if I look at the crowd reaction, I have. Pretending this is like college football rankings,
Starting point is 01:20:29 Taylor's in first place with like 60 first place votes. Kyle's in second with also a bunch of first place votes, like 30. And then it's me and then Chiz. And there's some variations on that. But by and large... They don't give us all full credit, huh, Woody? No, no.
Starting point is 01:20:43 They don't think that I can... They don't know. I don't think that i can they don't know i don't know either it's gonna be it's gonna be so it's gonna be me chis woody taylor that's what's happening you think taylor will get last i i think so i i don't think he has the time i think that's that's a i i was surprised when he even agreed to this thing he he has met at max like maybe two hours a day that's just not going to cut it but i'm gonna i'm gonna do something as a counter argument let's pretend we had been wearing these things for some time now taylor would have won october september august july all the way back
Starting point is 01:21:18 for the last year right yeah like if there's suddenly gonna get fourth will we play maybe yeah absolutely well yeah well i mean that that's inconsequential that that's not i just don't want So you're suddenly going to get fourth when we play? Maybe. Yeah, absolutely you will. That's inconsequential. I just don't want to come in fourth. You're going to have to work hard. That's my only goal. I don't want to make ten podcasts by myself. Oh my god.
Starting point is 01:21:38 Is that a thing? No, we haven't figured it out. We haven't decided it. I think that's a good one because it is entertaining and it forces content. It doesn't have to be a podcast that was just one idea like it could be a solo podcast it could be pka plays with just you playing and maybe another one of us will jump in to make it a little more fun like that seems like the winning thing here so yeah i don't think i could do a paramotor vlog that wouldn't be fair but in my head i'm like well fuck i might fire up cod again do some old yeah woody's gamer tag
Starting point is 01:22:05 videos a lot of people have asked for what's the last time you played cod i haven't played games until just a few days ago when i started playing left 4 dead um but people have asked for a truck vlog and a motorcycle vlog for a while so that might work those in there if i were to lose yeah i've been playing a ton of cod i love the COD. I think it's the best Call of Duty in four or five years. It's excellent. Seven, bro. When was Modern Warfare 2 out? 2009?
Starting point is 01:22:33 Yeah, it is. I don't know. I try to play, but not as much as I used to. Which one of you guys? Are you guys still all creating content or no content no no no this is just playing for fun just love it just fucking love i make one paramotor video a week and then the show yeah speaking of content you just started a podcast recently right yeah the eavesdrop podcast what is it a like gaming specific more business talk
Starting point is 01:23:03 like general discussion what's kind of the genre you're going for so what i was thinking is is gaming was sort of a bridge that brought together a whole bunch of people from all corners of the industry whether it's a pro player uh to ceos of companies so i was thinking you know for example with whiz being the head of of gaming at youtube and google that was like a first one i had easy access because he's a friend of mine obviously nate shot scumpy um vonderhaar was a was a was a good one i didn't really get to spend that much time with him because it's like the launch week of it so uh you know hopefully i could get a follow-up with him and really dive deep into like you know more meaningful questions about him because he he as a person like it's super intriguing to me um not that it keeps you up at
Starting point is 01:23:49 night or i'm like oh shit i wonder what he's doing but you know anytime he's in the conversation i'm always like ah you know so so many questions and then hasbro that i have uh sundance sepso ready to go i have like you know people all from all over the industry, content creators, the whole nine. But yeah, mostly life in general, just lifestyle. That's cool. Have you ever had beef with Hastro? And I just ask because that can be natural when you guys were competitors for quite
Starting point is 01:24:15 some time. I mean, we still are. Uh-huh. What does Hastro do? He's the CEO of Team EnVyUs and the Dallas Overwatch team, Dallas Fuel. I actually just had him on the podcast. A fan asked us, how competitive are you two with each other? We're friends, and this is the answer that we gave.
Starting point is 01:24:36 We're friends, but competition is competition, and we don't let each other off easy. There is a high level of competition between he and I, of course. There was a time when there was almost cooperation. I used to think of EnVyUs and Opticus as sister teams in the COD world. Do you have players go back and forth? Say it again.
Starting point is 01:24:57 You remember Eon Interactive? Oh, that's right. Yeah, yeah. So it wasn't necessarily sisters. People called it that. And that was one of the things I didn't like about it. But yeah, that ended up not working out. But we both made, well, he's down the street now, like half an hour from me. He's in downtown Dallas.
Starting point is 01:25:18 His whole setup is downtown Dallas. So it's really weird that we both ended up fighting for the same state almost. So it's pretty weird that we both ended up fighting for the same state almost. So it's pretty cool. Yeah. Is your podcast in person, kind of like Joe Rogan, or is it remote, more like this? It's never remote. It's always in person. It's almost a traveling podcast.
Starting point is 01:25:40 That's cool. We put everything in a Pelican case, and me and my camera guy just go well look we're in episode the next episode is going to be episode number eight and it's going to be the third actually I was going to say it's the third one out of my office but it's not this next one's at the person's like studio from where he creates content out of
Starting point is 01:25:57 so the next guest is Castro the FIFA streamer are you guys familiar I'm not familiar no he's got he's a player. He's definitely a big player in the FIFA world. Him and then LunkersTV. Rob from UMG. The website, UMG. You guys remember that?
Starting point is 01:26:16 No. I do. I remember UMG. So UMG, one of the early investors is this guy named Rob. He invested a couple of tens of thousands into it and then walked away when he got paid out. And he started making YouTube videos at the beginning of 2016, fishing videos. And he just passed a million subscribers. Fishing content?
Starting point is 01:26:42 All fishing. Fishing and hunting now. But it started with fishing bass fishing specifically um but yeah he and i became really good friends during the during the umg days and i would make him i would make him but i would ask him to throw a tournament in orlando so we can go fish lake okachobee and you know with scott martin who's a professional you know fisherman and little by little we started like developing this friendship and then you know he said so yo i want to i want to do you know i want to make fishing videos like you because at the time i was making you know fishing videos but not as consistently as i was anything else and
Starting point is 01:27:12 then he started and fucking blew up sells out of rods sells out of baits sells out of at at at uh at bass pro shops um when he started taking off i'm like dude you guys are on the verge of disrupting the fishing industry the way that influencers disrupted competitive video games in a sense where everybody was sponsoring the players because they competed
Starting point is 01:27:35 and then we sort of come along with this new model where guess what our pro players are the influencers check them out and you know same sort of thing uh but yeah it's been it's been a really cool so he's going to be like this the the guests two guests from now thank you so much because you just gave me my idea for what we're going to do when i win this competition what's it going to be we're going fishing oh that'd be for sure for sharks oh i've done that before.
Starting point is 01:28:08 I'm totally down to fish for sharks. Is that like your big leisure activity, Hector, fishing? Yeah, but one of the main reasons why I moved to Texas, but I haven't fished at all this year, unfortunately. That sucks. It's like it's November. You really have to fish.
Starting point is 01:28:24 Well, it's about to start getting hot, man. This is when it begins. Does it? Hector mentioned MLG Orlando. I went to MLG Raleigh with Hector, and he hooked me up. He gave me VIP passes. I got good seats for every time people played, and it made me feel special. But the thing that made Hector so cool in my eyes that day is he saw Pistola.
Starting point is 01:28:48 And he walks up to Pistola, and the two of them do a secret handshake. And I'm like, oh, he's so cool. We still do that handshake every time we see each other. Yeah, that's good. What is he doing now? He's still competing. Yeah? Does he still play halo
Starting point is 01:29:05 yeah halo halo's still uh an e-sport that you know that that's uh that's good it needs it needs some work uh but yeah it's good uh optic just won a halo championship about two years ago the world championships it was pretty cool uh they gave me a championship ring um which was fucking phenomenal you know. And it came from 343 themselves because the players asked, and I was like, man, that's good. I need my fucking Call of Duty one. Where's my
Starting point is 01:29:33 Call of Duty one? I'll buy it. God damn it. Just fucking give it to me. We finally get a championship, and it's good. Nice. But Texas like such an esport forward thinking town that there was no other way that i could pick anything else especially
Starting point is 01:29:53 here in frisco man the mayor uh like everybody's all about esports the building that i'm fucking in i'm on the second floor floor three four and five are are all gearbox so the makers of borderlands one and two and every time i'm in the elevator i'm like borderlands three and they're like not that i played i've never played it but they're like we don't know we don't know what we're doing we don't know we don't know what we're doing uh and then below there's a there's a coffee place called nerdvana which is all it's like gaming like board games you know like shoots and ladders magic this gathering and like really you know games that i personally don't play but it's really cool and then next door is a bar which is nirvana food and spirits which is like a restaurant bar and it's all video
Starting point is 01:30:37 games there's a console at every booth uh you you go to the bar and all twitch streams it's pretty dope that's awesome where do awesome. I wanted to ask you about this. What do you think the future for Battle Royale games is in the competitive scene? How do they make that work? Because I watched the Dorito Bowls tournament or Dorito Bowl tournament and what they do is
Starting point is 01:30:58 you drop into a pub lobby and you go for as many kills as you can with your team of four pros. And that's not a fair playing field it's it's it's so it's so hit or miss like like maybe you get into a lobby of it's i think it's 88 players and squads maybe so maybe there's 84 dumbasses in there or maybe you drop into a lobby with 84 badasses like it's it's really not fair now i i do think that the best team won that yeah but but that it could have been much closer like like if I don't remember what the gap between second and third was But I doubt it was as wide as the gap between first and second no it wasn't that it wasn't that that wide because
Starting point is 01:31:37 So yeah, look I've I've I've had this in my mind like forever, and I always bring it up I I've had this in my mind forever, and I always bring it up. I think Battle Royale, there is going to be a way to make it competitive once they figure out point systems. But you always are going to have this sort of luck involved. If you have two scumpies, for example. And I say that because he's streaming right over there. If we have two scumpies and they each drop right same level same like a literal clone the everything about them is exactly the
Starting point is 01:32:12 same if if they fall into the same house one lands roof one lands you know bottom floor one might run into a gun let's let's let's switch it even even more more common sense let's say i drop top floor and get a gun he drops bottom floor and has no gun i'm gonna kill him because i have a gun right i'm i'm gonna have that over him so the rng in the game is always going to be the toss-up of is it really competitive when luck is involved um yeah sure sometimes there's a there's a hail mary that's thrown sure there's a three-pointer that that's tossed up in the air and sometimes it's luck but you know there's elements that make it not be luck as unfortunately it isn't battle royale why is it a bad idea to just
Starting point is 01:32:57 have them play against each other right you know even then though then, the same scenario I just said, you know, group. Run it back. Instead of single elimination, right? You know, play four times. First place is one point. Second place is two points. Lowest points at the end of the day wins. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:33:14 Average, right? But even then, what if four times that weekend you land and there's no loop? Then you're the kind of guy who makes excuses, right? No, come on. Really? I think so. If you land... You know where the loot-rich areas are?
Starting point is 01:33:31 No, no, no, no. Go on. Maybe I don't know what I'm talking about. I mean, especially in COD, there don't seem to be necessarily loot-rich areas. Like in PUBG, it's like, oh, yeah, if we go to this area, it's more likely there's level 3 gear, whereas these little farmhouses are more likely to be like pistols and shit but in cod there could
Starting point is 01:33:49 be a it's very random you never know where the good shit's gonna be it could be anywhere it could be one house could have an entire kit you know rifle with all the attachments and an optic and level three like armor and a couple stuns or something, which are super OP in COD. Stun grenades, nine bangs, all that shit. That's how I lose. When I play solos, I'll drop, get four or five kills, go to the next circle, the next circle, get one more, two more, get a snipe, think I'm going to
Starting point is 01:34:16 win, and then engage in a gunfight. The guy takes cover, insta-heals, stuns me, and just kills me. It's GG. That was probably his first kill. But he's got an advantage over me because maybe he hid in a house for the first two circles and nobody shot at his armor whereas I've been getting gunfight after gunfight my armor's
Starting point is 01:34:32 gone I can't get new armor so would you say that as you engage you get weaker yeah yeah it's a game that like those of us who have played it a lot realize that the more engagements that you seek the more aggressive you are you're actually putting yourself at a disadvantage because that armor gets blown off of you and unlike pub g where the armor has the armor has a lot of durability but and but but sort of
Starting point is 01:34:53 consistent damage um um reduction based on which tier of armor it is whereas in cod it's got very low durability comparatively so almost every single gunfight unless you snipe the guy in the head with a sniper rifle and insta kill him his armor is destroyed like like in your gunfight like every gunfight like like that's the main call out that we're always it's we're given three or four call outs it's like armor's broken guys down guys finished it's one of those three that we're constantly communicating back and forth and armor armor gets broken every time and you hear it when when you break a guy's armor it's you know when you've broken the guy's armor and it happens every fucking time so if you're if you're if you've been in a lot of gunfights you've got no armor but if you're like
Starting point is 01:35:33 that mechanic i think that's i don't either yeah so traditionally before uh battle royale games there were like hunger games in minecraft and uh you know if I kill four guys, then I have like the accumulation of all the best stuff I got on all four of them. And it makes me stronger. If every time I engage, like if it rewards me hiding, then that's bad gameplay.
Starting point is 01:35:56 Yeah. Yeah. I mean, it lends itself to be fast paced and really call it. Like it's the only thing I've played since the game has dropped.
Starting point is 01:36:02 I haven't played multiplayer. I haven't played a single game battles match. And it's the only thing I've played since the game has dropped. I haven't played multiplayer. I haven't played a single game, Battlesmatch. And it's the only one that the game that's like... I needed that refresher in the game. And that's all I've been playing because it's the same mechanics and it's just
Starting point is 01:36:16 better, in my opinion. But yeah, up until that I played Fortnite for a little bit, but once the building got to the level that it got, I just knew that I was not going to be able to be competitive. And instead of... I didn't have the investment hours to put in to be decent enough to feel as though I had a fighting chance
Starting point is 01:36:35 to where I'm just like, yeah, forget it. But it was one of my favorite games. I called it the best multiplayer in the last five years. It was that good. Did you guys play Fortnite at all? I was pub g that like making the switch from sort of i won't call it a military shooter but i guess it kind of is in a lot of ways to go from that slow paced methodical kind of thing with lots of communication to like let's just fucking rapid fire build and jumping around and flying it was it was too much of a pace gap for me and honestly like and people don't like to hear this i didn't care for the look of the game like like that sort of cartoony kids kind of game like
Starting point is 01:37:10 just the palette it just didn't didn't look nice to me whereas i really like pub g i run pub g on sort of medium high settings i want my frames but i also wanted to look good and i just prefer pub g over fortnite but now that cod's out i i haven't gone back to pub g i guess i will maybe when the new map drops but still like cod is it cod is so good yeah i'm only gonna play pub g on on the mobile device because of of pka yeah make sure you use your code yeah no i'm definitely gonna use the code but aside from that i i it's just too clunky for me i and then when you play and i played it i played h1 uh but it was always just like man it was like are we going backwards here like what's why why what is it so when when call of duty finally
Starting point is 01:37:51 announced that i was i was just on cloud nine man i'm like oh my god this is gonna be incredible and sure enough man yeah like little things here and there i know the shit out of me but it's it's it's everything that i ever wanted in a br for Call of Duty. You know what will fix the armor thing? Oh, go ahead. To fix the armor thing, every time someone dies, they need to drop an armor shard, okay? And, like, you apply that armor shard to your armor, and it repairs it by a certain percentage.
Starting point is 01:38:18 Oh, same way, yeah, yeah, yeah. Four shards will, like, get your level one back up to full strength, or, like, whatever, something like that. Some way to repair armor. Or maybe if you've got five shards, you can just one back up to full strength or whatever. Something like that. Some way to repair armor. Or maybe if you've got five shards, you can just fabricate a suit of armor. Something like that. Some way to rebuild your armor. You know, anytime I have an idea
Starting point is 01:38:34 like that, I'm like, David Von Der Haar already thought about it. That's the reason why he hasn't put it in. Yeah, maybe. Maybe they can't implement it. Maybe it was unbalanced. Maybe people would, you know, maybe there's not a way to keep people from just having like six armor shards in their pocket and technically having an extra suit of armor on them all the time i don't know you know but kill confirmed where they drop the dog tags and you pick it up again and there's a section rescue
Starting point is 01:38:55 variant that has it too i made a video saying they should do that and in fairness i think i got the idea from reddit but uh when they added it to the game tons of people were like they stole that from woody they need to properly credit woody i wonder like if they got it from me because i think some of the specific like dropping dog tags was literally something i said it's been a while but yeah i wonder if they heard that idea it would it yeah they probably did man they they watch and listen to everything and everything is implemented and it's if it's in the public domain it's you know obviously oh i'm not looking for a no no i know royalty or anything i just wanted to look i invented twitch man you are the same thing oh when you were talking about that like your um influence and on the world
Starting point is 01:39:40 there were a lot i did this thing called commentary march madness and it basically just gave a lot of small people a platform to get known yeah i wonder if that altered the trajectory of um what's his name like xx fuzzy games or something like that the he's a big guy at twitch fuzzy otter balls fuzzy otter balls he got justin wong yeah yeah he first got kind of elevated into a person that people know by doing really well in my competition i think he got second um there were a bunch of guys captain sparkles might be one of them like jizz um there were a ton of people who got much more known through commentary march madness than they would have otherwise and i wonder how many life trajectories it improved it altered yeah yeah yeah i remember a fuzzy i mean he's i still you know we're we're friendly
Starting point is 01:40:32 we said he was i saw him at twitch con like last year we talked and we you know we follow each other and shit but that dude has always been super super funny so like i i you know that sort of exposure helps people when they when the talent is actually there and if they apply themselves with the most recent exposure that they just got. Exactly. It's not that I made him successful.
Starting point is 01:40:53 That's not true at all. But I was one of the rungs on the ladders that he used to get to the top. I just feel good about that. Yeah. Just another question about the whole thing. Chiz wrote, without Commentary March Madness, he wouldn't be married to his current wife.
Starting point is 01:41:09 Can you lay that out, Chiz? I'm dead serious. That has me interested. Sorry, I cut Taylor off. I'm sure it was pretty awesome. But this is too. Oh, the fame of Commentary March Madness got him to meet his wife. I knew I altered his trajectory. I hope for the positive.
Starting point is 01:41:25 They got married the other week. Oh, well, congratulations. Anyway, Taylor, I'm sorry. Oh, yeah. It was just like a... I don't know much about the whole professional gaming scene. But now, like Chiz was telling me, there's a new trend where like...
Starting point is 01:41:37 Before it was like Optic versus Envy us. And it was like people from all around the world. Like there wasn't any geographical you know uh oneness with it but now like optic owns uh yeah no regions you know and so now optic owns you know the houston outlaws and envy uh apparently owns dallas fuel like it how does that all work and this is clearly the future of it like it's going to follow the same archetype as normal sports i would think right it's a keemstar idea right well he i think it right? It's a Keemstar idea, right? I don't know. I think it's always been discussed, but
Starting point is 01:42:07 Keemstar was definitely the first to do it in Call of Duty. He had the New York... What was it? It was good, though. It was the New York something and then he gave them worker suits or something like a construction worker.
Starting point is 01:42:24 Anyway, it was very good he's talking about though like no i do i know yeah i do so he called it the new york something so so he made his team belong to the city that he was from uh what what we're talking about now is is regionality or assigning regions to esports teams for example haster as he just mentioned, owns the Dallas Fuel, which means that Dallas belongs to Dallas Fuel the way that Fuel belongs to Dallas. Houston Outlaws is my team, and it's the best branding in all of the Overwatch League. Nobody can compete.
Starting point is 01:43:00 When you think of Texas, what do you think of? Give me the main thing. Outlaws. Okay, yeah, but... Steers. Cowboys. Cowboys, right? Have you guys seen the logo?
Starting point is 01:43:10 Can somebody bring it up? It's incredible, man. It's... Oh, that's with the two guns? That's an awesome-looking logo. Two revolvers with the long horns, and it's genius, okay? That's a legit professional sports logo. That's better than most professional sports teams.
Starting point is 01:43:23 Is there a link that I'm missing here? You need a mascot. I just Googled Houston Outlaws. So it's nasty, man. It's such a good logo. We sort of had a misstep in the way that I wanted to brand it because I wanted it to have a capital O and a capital T in Outlaws. In fact, the reason we picked Outlaws was because – or the reason I picked Outlaws is because it had an O and a T in it.
Starting point is 01:43:52 And I'm like, okay, we're going to pay homage to Optic with a capital T. Some of the names that were on the table, two people, one of them wanted to call it Hype. And the other guy wanted to call it nova and i'm like what the we're not fucking calling them that oh those have been terrible names i agree well look man some people are creative some people got it some people don't okay period so anyway so so we have the houston austin and San Antonio region. So although we're called Houston Outlaws, we have
Starting point is 01:44:30 those three major cities. A bigger team, obviously a bigger fan base. But it's that sort of model. There's the London Spitfire, which is Cloud9's team. They're in London, obviously. The New York york excels here i mean you name it they're they're they're assigned
Starting point is 01:44:51 regions so and and originally i'm like uh i was on the fence about it i could have fought both sides of the argument i'm like yes of course it's going to work you you know your hometown pride and all of that obviously it's going to work but at the same time i'm like you know this day and age of the internet and and that why would we segregate ourselves to one city and and sort of alienate and you know the surrounding areas uh so you know for example why would we as optic not want to have dallas not like us oh you know i'm saying because we're not from dallasTic, you have the most to lose, right? Because when I think of COD teams, there's OpTic, there's Envy, FaZe is up there, and then, I don't know, 19 other ones, like something like that.
Starting point is 01:45:35 So when you become – 100 Thieves. Snakeshot now has its own team. Yeah. But let me continue the thought. But if you suddenly become like OpTic Raleigh, it's like, holy smokes, what am I doing in that market? I used to own the planet
Starting point is 01:45:48 and now I'm, you know, one third of North Carolina. Yeah, I don't know. Again, I can fight both sides of it. But, you know, it showed itself to be, you know, a smart idea because when we would throw viewing parties, we had like 800 people show up
Starting point is 01:46:04 to like this warehouse to just all sit there and watch them compete, you know, 10, 10,000 miles away or not that many miles, but you know, in, in,
Starting point is 01:46:12 in LA. And then, you know, eventually it's going to get to the point where there's going to be a traveling team where, you know, just like traditional sports, essentially again,
Starting point is 01:46:21 uh, the, the, the secret. And I, and I, and I have a solution in my head the secret is going to be how we reinvent that model that traditional sports have already had with the traveling uh but yeah but this i feel like we didn't get a chance to explain keemstar's idea
Starting point is 01:46:37 it was this it wasn't that he just had a team and called it the new york team he wanted to make a league that competed with mlG at the time. And instead of teams just because the problem he was looking to solve was that people look at this thing and they don't have anyone to root for by default. They don't know where to get started. And he's like, if teams start having regions, then a new person can walk in there and start having an allegiance and getting involved.
Starting point is 01:47:01 It breaks that barrier on how to start getting into esports. It was a pretty good idea. It was hard to be his partner. Are there separate teams? Are the Outlaws made up of members of OpTic or is it a totally different team? It's a completely different team.
Starting point is 01:47:20 It's a team full of professionals in that category, in Overwatch. You know, as good as somebody is in Call of Duty, like Seth, for example, I mean, I guess if they applied themselves, they could get there,
Starting point is 01:47:35 because if you look at Karma, I got that, you know, it's a three-time world champion in Call of Duty, has a 17, well, had a 17 KD on Battle Royale Blackout during the beta. For him, it translates being able to go from controller to keyboard and mouse
Starting point is 01:47:50 and still dominate the way that he did. Seth has the same sort of... I think it's just a video game hand-eye coordination thing. Every player that I've seen go from controller to mouse that's a professional does really, really good.
Starting point is 01:48:06 On the other side though, players that use keyboard and mouse haven't had as much success playing in console because it's just completely foreign to them. But we haven't really seen somebody that's gone that far. Yeah, watching Shroud try to play
Starting point is 01:48:21 on PlayStation when the Blackout beta was out was a little frustrating. You're watching him have a real hard time, and it's like, oh, man, when this comes out on mouse and keyboard, he's just going to dominate this. But he was struggling a little bit with the PlayStation controller. Yeah. He's so nasty, man. I watch him, and I get mad. I'm like, God, give me 10% of that.
Starting point is 01:48:44 He's not just good he's creative i and that's what makes him so big in that space as a streamer is like he won't just kill you he'll he'll fucking style on you yeah he'll fucking do something that you've never seen before like like if he's in a fight with three guys like he'll find a really creative way to make that happen his movement is good like every aspect of the game, he excels in right away. It's not just about how quick can he flick to a guy and put bullets on target. It's his movement vertically,
Starting point is 01:49:12 up and down and left and right, the way he scales a building. He'll zip line up on top of a house, jump, do a 180, come down, kill one guy while he's midair, kill the second. And he knows just when to get into cover before he dies. It's very fun to watch. I love watching these streams. It's an artwork. Kill the second. And he knows just when to get into cover before he dies. And it's very fun to watch.
Starting point is 01:49:27 I love watching his streams. It's an artwork. I mean, if you look at Ninja, the reason that he has the success that he did is because he had the same sort of mentality. It was all about style. And in a game where everybody's playing it, it was a recipe for success for him. Yep. Yep. Ninja's got a real – I saw his new streaming setup the other day.
Starting point is 01:49:47 He posted a picture. He's got a really badass room to stream from. It's incredible. Behind him, there's screens behind him with his logo, plasma screens. What's dope is that they're not just all lined up, like six of them. They're like this.
Starting point is 01:50:02 It's all uneven. Sick, man. Really, really cool. I wonder uh red bull helped them with that um i don't know it didn't seem to be that branded you know it was like his brand does red bull give real money now i want to say correct me if i'm wrong on this nadeshot had a red bull sponsorship but it was almost at first a pride of being red bull and not really big payday yeah um it's a little bit of both back then i mean now i'm i'm sure that they that they're that they're doing right by it but you know it is a pride thing with with the red bull athletes man like they treat all their athletes like good for life it isn't just like a like a thing they create a
Starting point is 01:50:42 really good culture behind behind the meaning of being a Red Bull athlete So if you came from the halo era Specifically and you saw people like while she you know a flame sword That became like the ultimate I made it so it translated to Call of Duty and when nature became that that was like wow Bro, like we made it we made it and then when they put flamesword in one million of these cans for destiny um that was also super super super cool so i'll always have like deep deep respect and admiration for their esports program how does like uh trading players work is that the same as traditional sports where it's like all right now optic is trading optic someone to phase
Starting point is 01:51:23 for this and then it's like all right you got to change your gamer tag and you know you're you're out of here first contracts well yeah you transfer contracts you buy out contracts uh you know some some people have you know three years their salary as their buyouts there's been you know massive massive like some multi-million dollar like buyouts for for single players and does that ever get nasty? Yeah, of course. I bet it's like regular sports where it gets totally nasty. Is there a spending cap where there's a salary cap
Starting point is 01:51:51 to prevent a Yankees situation where it's like, oh yeah, that guy's good. I'm taking him. Sort of. I think it's only in an esport. I don't know if I'm allowed to say it, but yeah, there is. There are some rules. It depends. I don't know if I'm allowed to say it, but yeah, there is. There are some rules. It depends.
Starting point is 01:52:08 I think it benefits... I don't know. There's incentives if you don't spend as much as others. That sort of scenario. But not necessarily a cap, but definitely some regulation there and use that term very, very loosely. Okay.
Starting point is 01:52:23 Back in the day, Hex, you used to intentionally stay away from player trades. That was like players figure out who should be on the team, not me. Yeah. Still. Because there's money involved now, more than there used to be, right?
Starting point is 01:52:40 Yeah, but it's... I will never... I mean, I'll help with the transition. I'll try to mediate if there's a problem. I'll try to keep the team together as much as I can. This team specifically right here, the Call of Duty Dynasty, the best team that's ever played together,
Starting point is 01:52:56 the scumpy, the crimson, the karma, and the formal, I didn't want that thing to be separated, but they got to the point to where the players just weren't getting along, and after months months and months of trying it just you know It just it just had to happen and you know we traded we sold we bought it was it's it's you know It's a real business. You know video games are serious if it's the business of video games But yeah, I mean if you look at if you look at contract
Starting point is 01:53:24 If you look at contract, if you look at contract negotiations, if you look at player options, buyouts, free agency, like it's as professional as it gets, man. Yeah, I thought maybe you'd have to be involved now because, you know, they might want some, you know, $2 million a year COD player and you have to say, yeah you sure we can't win the team we have now no yeah in situations like that like obviously we we all come to an agreement and it can't be it sometimes it's gotten to that place where well no we can't we're not going to spend 800,000 to buy out this player to pay him 800,000 a year that's a 1.6 million dollar investment fuck that you know let's let's try to figure a different alternative but uh you know for the most part players have always been really really good at in call of duty specifically they've been really good at understanding uh the benefits that comes with
Starting point is 01:54:15 you know sticking together and building a brand together it's scary so after the raleigh event uh you guys didn't win and uh if people don't know optic is looking to win every event right they don't take home third and be like well that was still pretty good right that that's not how optic rolls so uh they were like we all went to dinner afterwards and i'm just a fly on the wall at this dinner but there was a a vibe of who's getting cut who we we bring it in. There was another player from a different team that went to dinner with us. They were kind of courting. You have to be
Starting point is 01:54:52 wondering, well, shit, I haven't been talking to those three about who we're getting rid of, so it's probably me. It was a really neat thing to attend. That was interesting. I don't know if you remember it like I do, but that happened. Yeah, I mean, that happens.
Starting point is 01:55:07 That used to happen a lot. And that's the way that things were done back then when it was still a little bit of a Wild Wild West scenario. But now that it's gotten to the level that it's at, there's so many rules that are both fair to the player and the organization, almost equally. and the organization almost equally. And I say almost because obviously players end up winning the majority of the thing because they're the ones that will not play or bench themselves or pretty much be a pain in the ass to the organization. And luckily I've never had to deal with any of my players being that, largely because not only do I take care of them,
Starting point is 01:55:39 but I speak to them like humans and I tell them, in my old day, this is how we used to do things yeah it's like a handshake means a lot and this that and the other so i've been very very lucky man yeah but it and you know when you're a pro gamer being on optic or even like having your team want you isn't just a financial thing although it is it's also your sense of self-worth. You know, when your teammates all get together and decide you need to get demoted, that's a rough time,
Starting point is 01:56:12 you know, and it kicks your confidence, which kicks your game, which it hurts a lot. And, but it's the reality of it. You can't just keep a guy on. So you never heard his feelings and lose.
Starting point is 01:56:22 Yeah. Yeah. You know, more often, like nowadays, more than ever more than ever, it's become a little bit more professional to where players are looking more for a better pace, better salary so they can do that. And they have to because that's what the market's demanding. Where in the past, you'd be like, all right, we're going to give you this, but you are an optic, so if you stream, you're going to get X amount of money. If you make YouTube videos, you're going to get.
Starting point is 01:56:46 So at one point, I felt as though I'm like, why would I pay a player $1,500 a month to come make $5,000 a month? And in total, it's $6,500 a month. So we would work out some – and it changed, obviously, as the years went on. But those are my thoughts at the beginning of it. I'm like, why? I'm like, I don't understand. I'm giving you a life-changing opportunity where if you use this platform correctly, you won't need any team to pay you anything.
Starting point is 01:57:15 You can just go off on your own and do whatever you want. Back in the day, Parasite joined your team for like a month. Does that sound right? No, it was like three days. Okay, three days. three days and i'm gonna make up numbers but his twitter following went from like 40 grand to 120 grand on those three days and uh he didn't mesh with the team so he didn't stick around but it was like dude he just elevated his position amongst the fans like in terms of visibility by a ton yeah yeah i mean i
Starting point is 01:57:43 don't know if those were accurate numbers probably but it was but they were significant significant enough for that to happen like maybe two more times during that time period that's when seth uh seth left to envy for a couple for a couple of us they called it the optic juice at the time you know it's it's so i mean we said it's still it's still a thing you know with it with the call of duty specifically that that you know that you know you're you get the viewership that you don't often get anywhere else because of the hard work and our deliberate plan to be different than everybody else out there, to build an audience before a championship team, to sacrifice countless hours of both practice and content creation to build an audience. So a lot of credit goes to the originals that came before the current state that we're in right now because they did. We built a really cool model, man, and it sucks that not a lot of organizations put it into effect because we'd have – in Call of Duty specifically,
Starting point is 01:58:46 you know, my dream was always to, to, to help make Call of Duty become like one of the top three e-sports in the world. And, and if, if other organizations were as committed to building the way that we build,
Starting point is 01:58:57 I mean, and face, look at face, man, they fucking blew up, man. And it elevated us. And,
Starting point is 01:59:02 and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and,
Starting point is 01:59:03 and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and,
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Starting point is 01:59:04 and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and,
Starting point is 01:59:04 and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, elevated us and and and you know if other people if we could have like three
Starting point is 01:59:05 more uh teams do what phase did we could have had like major major major control uh of audiences across all of esports and and people would you know that you know it was the game too like i don't know people would say cod wasn't competitive and uh it took me a long time to understand what that meant you know and to me this is what it means like let's say i'm playing you and you're much better than me at cod right if i 1v1 you it might go 15 to 5 right because you know sometimes it just goes down that way whereas if i were to play a different game where you're much better than me like mortal combat it would be 15 to 0 right you like you're the better player would just win all the time yeah skill ceiling say that again the skill ceiling
Starting point is 01:59:56 is different you know when you there are some games that when you're great at them no one can touch you you know the the skill gap is is much more well defined i understand skill ceiling but there's also an element of randomness in there right like i don't know the worst player can win sometimes in cod and uh you know a lot of times with a competitive rule set though that it takes a lot of that bullshit away yeah and and the fact and the fact that like uh you know the ponder hearts of the world are always looking at every single number with diligence to make sure that it is competitive, that has helped a lot through the years. Call of Duty has never been as competitive as right now because there are so many superstars in every single team that can beat the shit out of you at any given point. Any given Sunday is the term, And it's never been truer
Starting point is 02:00:45 in Call of Duty than it is right now. So it's good, man. We're entering into the golden age of Call of Duty for the next couple of years, for sure. Yeah, I think on the back of the current game, I think that it's going to bring
Starting point is 02:01:02 a lot of people back to Call of Duty. I think it has. And I think a lot of people are going to discover COD for the first time as a really great first-person shooter. It's so good right now. I don't know how they were able to make such a good Battle Royale so fast, because you see what's going on with
Starting point is 02:01:18 Battlefield. They're not going to put out their Battle Royale until March or something. That's how far behind they are. They did a really good job to get that thing out in a timely fashion on release day and have it quite well polished. They came out with an update the other day that addressed a lot of the issues
Starting point is 02:01:33 that a few of us had. I'm sure it's going to continue to improve. Treyarch is so good. If I list my top five CODs, it's like a bunch of Treyarch games in COD 4. Yeah, same. Well, COD 4 and COD 2. Oh, COD 2, it's like a bunch of Treyarch games in COD 4. Yeah, same. Well, COD 4 and COD 2, but that's obviously... Oh, COD 2, I'm sorry.
Starting point is 02:01:49 Yeah, COD 2. That's just more I don't know, me reminiscent, but Call of Duty 4 is still one of my favorite games of all time. All the prestigious are right here. I have a whole bunch of cool shit back there. But yeah, for me, it's a game changing,
Starting point is 02:02:05 life changing sort of game that I was so passionate about it that it helped me, you know, sort of think of things differently that allowed me to do what I did. You know, from a content creation standpoint, from a, I don't know, from a,
Starting point is 02:02:18 from a, from a cultural cool standpoint, like what, what sort of storylines do we want to build around ourselves that, you know, makes people more interested than, than just because we're we're players and that's you know that's that's what us commentators helped build essentially right when we started sharing our our livelihoods over a video game that's when we started developing those those sort of
Starting point is 02:02:40 friendships with friends we've never met and we'll probably never meet, you know, which is your audience that are vested in your success because they know who you are. They know that you have, you know, a wife. They know that you have a kid. They know the name of your dog. They, like, know all this stuff that almost makes them, you know, vested in your success. I mean, that was the nature effect, right? The first of its kind, in my opinion, where, you know, he was in front of the camera so much and and opened up so much that
Starting point is 02:03:05 people were like man not only do i know a a kid like him you know the sort of you know goofy funny but you know really you know really good at the game but i can relate to the fact that you know he worked at mcdonald's as a kid or i can relate to the fact that you know he's learning how to shave for the first time and this is the first time he's shaving i've gone through sick and all of this sort of exposure and and and sharing of of him of him being that you know himself made people be like you know what i want this kid to succeed because i i know so much about him i know more about him than i do someone better than him you know so i think that helped a lot and that all came from early 2009, 2010 YouTubers like us. You're welcome, everybody.
Starting point is 02:03:48 I talked about the little lives that my channel has touched. When I first knew of Nadeshot, I did two things that kind of pumped him up a little bit. Because no one knew him at all. He was still working at McDonald's at this time. And one was we were going to do this thing with the billionaire challenge where we like the pro teams together we had a million dollar fake budget and i paid 900 000 for nade shot more than any other player in the whole thing and he got known and then it got shut down uh because like he was gonna it was like a suicide prank where he was gonna like fund the live streaming of a guy who had terminally ill,
Starting point is 02:04:26 but it was never true. He woke up from the dead and sang the Monster Mash, but people got really sensitive about it, and it got canceled. So what I did, they were going to do this free-for-all tournament, and I talked to I forget the guy's name. Do you guys remember
Starting point is 02:04:42 the Billionaires Bash guy's name? I'm trying to think Kelby oh Alki David yeah yeah so I talked to Alki David and I was like you've got to get late Nate shot in this thing like you it was not you win $5,000 if you if you win it and he said no and I'm like no no you've got to do it you don't understand Nate shots the man I felt an obligation to sort of support the guys that I had put on my team because they lost the opportunity to win money partly because i pulled out so i was trying to take care of the people that yeah they'll hurt by pulling out i guess so i got nade shot in
Starting point is 02:05:15 it and he won the five thousand dollars and i'm pretty sure that five thousand dollars is when he lost mcdonald's and uh nade shot obviously earned his own success but yeah that was a little part of it at the start yeah he quit he quit mcdonald's fully when he won the first ever million dollar tournament uh at call of duty xp which is this one call of duty xp uh but yeah no i did abroad it did it did help him get on the map because it was exposure to to your audience exposure to other youtubers audience that were involved in this um but yeah alky david was uh was the person that did oh man we went through some dirty patches early on holy shit i just remember like oh my god we did didn't we i mean we literally got down and dirty with our hands and built a platform you know one of the things that that all like
Starting point is 02:06:06 just recently i i posted a a clip from my for my uh podcast where i say you know hard work determination 24 7 like ethic is what gets in some kids like well it's easy for you to say you know it's really easy for you to i'm like it's never been easier i I guess it levels out. But when we started, think about where the gaming community was on YouTube. Think about what having 50,000 subscribers meant back then. And YouTube actively, I don't want to say attacked, but unsupported gaming channels. They would bury it. There was no gaming category on the homepage. You couldn't get there unless you miscategorized which fans would have hated me
Starting point is 02:06:45 doing um they youtube wasn't on your side the first year i made videos there was no local monetization like it was just for passion uh it was yeah and people say it's harder now and it's harder in different ways but yeah that's that's that's where that's the point that i was getting at i replied to him i'm like i'm like dude i made videos for free for two years and had to help build this community in youtube you know how do we bring eyeballs to a place that's being invented think about generate generating an audience on any platform that doesn't have that like imagine like you couldn't even migrate people from twitch or from YouTube to another one right now. We were literally building something that will benefit everybody for the rest of their lives.
Starting point is 02:07:32 What we did very, very early on as pioneers and as builders, we literally built a platform for people to be able to do this and i'm not saying that all credit goes to us because obviously machinima had a big part of that and and a million other creators did well more like a hundred other creators did but it uh i i am i am gonna go some time in the future and on my deathbed i'm to be like, the whole gaming thing that is so popular, I had a big part in that. And that is going to be... You changed my life, right? What you did by moving it from the cinema being the center of the universe where you just hoped that they uploaded your videos to everyone being able to upload on their own channel, it changed my life in a big way. Yeah. But it wasn't even like... At the time it was just like you know let's band together everybody let's band together and we're gonna we're gonna win and we did man it's it would have been really easy for
Starting point is 02:08:34 you to be like no i'm good man i don't want to fuck up with the shit that i have going on right now everybody did their part you know what i'm saying so it's uh it was good you're not giving yourself credit you led that so hard i found out about that afterwards like you know it and once you got it it was like oh this is a thing that can be had you know yeah we did people just didn't recognize their own strength yeah it was it was a good times way back in the day man i i i reminisce about it every so often uh but i but i do appreciate like where where it's at. I'm proud of the work we built here. Not only here in Optic,
Starting point is 02:09:09 but our part in esports, our part in entertainment on YouTube, gaming, and all that, man. It's been a really, really cool ride for me, personally. I don't know, man. I'm in my own fucking studio. It's like fucking 3,500 square feet of just me.
Starting point is 02:09:26 You know? Let me see if I can show you. Matt, I'm going to lift because I built this place to everything's modular, so if I don't want to stream having this in the background, lift this really quickly. I'm going to pivot the cord.
Starting point is 02:09:41 Just make sure it doesn't hit the... So I can... Watch the power cords over there. Am I good? Yeah. Look at that. Yeah, so it goes... That's like an Ikea. That's a huge amount of space. I don't know.
Starting point is 02:09:57 You guys can't see... I'm sorry. My room is so big, you can't see what I'm pointing at. Yeah, so Scumpy's over there. And I built this place because I wanted the content creators in Optic to have a place to come and just stream and do whatever the fuck they wanted. Competitors, like I have a LAN center over here where you can move the tables to wherever you want to face anything, man. I was watching Scumpy stream. It was either last night or the night before.
Starting point is 02:10:24 He was doing a – it seemed like some sort of pro level game battles he was competing and i was like where the freak is he like what why is he in a a strip mall right now now i understand now i see where he was behind scumpy when he streams is just a vast sea of empty space. Yeah. And I want to say, does he have a good chair? Did he have a crappy chair? No, no crappy chair. No, all right, I'm wrong about that then. But yeah, I was watching. Yeah, it's...
Starting point is 02:10:54 Hold on. I have to perfect this whole moving the things. But, you know, it's pretty cool. What is that for? Is just the vip lounge or oh that's just a lot you know a hangout lounge uh it i feel like i'm 70 done with the with the with the place so these are all our trophies that were that i just got out of storage i have to put in a an entertainment center right under the tv and then i'm gonna put them all on top of that but but yeah man like i i'm having a really good time looking for a magic the gathering division in an entertainment center right under the TV and then I'm going to put them all on top of that. But yeah, man, I'm having a really good time.
Starting point is 02:11:27 If you're looking for a Magic the Gathering division, hit me and Kyle up. We won't do well, but we will spend a lot of time in that warehouse. Win-win for me. But yeah, that's what I've been up to. I guess I'll just leave it here now. Yeah, it's awesome, man. It's really cool.
Starting point is 02:11:43 It's so cool. Seeing all this now, it really comes full circle when we were asking you about working and you're like you know I don't even feel like I'm working it just feels like a big project it's like it well now I see why like this looks like a fucking blast yeah so this all these tables these are these are Ikea dining room tables uh these are like 350 bucks and then i put eight dollar wheels on them to be able to just move and this is part of my uh my conference room which is in this very place this is the setup that nature is going to be streaming out of all next week but i'm going to move this more to here it's like a big project, man. I love being in here. I've been able to just come up with
Starting point is 02:12:28 dope shit nonstop that is just my sanctuary almost, a place to go. God damn it. Yeah, that's sick. If you guys are ever in Texas, we'll do an eavesdrop podcast. Not live, but here in the studio. Yeah, that'd be cool.
Starting point is 02:12:44 That'd be sick. Yeah, definitely. I know you've got to probably dip out in the next couple minutes, but thanks in the studio. Yeah, that'd be cool. That would be sick. Yeah, definitely. I know you've got to probably dip out in the next couple minutes, but thanks for coming on, man. I appreciate the invite, man. Last time I was on, it was probably like two years. I can't believe. How many episodes is that?
Starting point is 02:12:58 411. How many times a week? Well, okay, so this PKA is 411. We do a private podcast for patrons, and that's at like 210 or something like that just explain that the private uh well so it's how long is it it's an hour and for free it's audio only and for video it's a patreon level it's either five or ten dollars a month i think it's 10 is it 10. So it's about $2 for that show. You get this one early, too. So you could call it about a dollar a show.
Starting point is 02:13:29 And yeah, so if you combine those, we're at $620. $5, man. The consistency, like, yeah, there's $5. Don't give it to them for free now. A dollar? You better charge it up. They're getting a steal, bro. I mean, think about the consistency
Starting point is 02:13:46 that's one of the things that you have like it's monetizing this it wasn't really monetized for the first couple hundred episodes and we would miss episodes you know because it wasn't it you know i don't know we don't have much responsibility to it we're not getting paid we haven't missed an episode in years well Well, Wings has missed a few episodes here lately, like a couple hundred, something like that. I don't know. He doesn't show up. Fair counterpoint.
Starting point is 02:14:09 I wish he was gone. He said to come in for one episode, and almost five years later, I'm still coming back every week. We don't want Taylor here. He just keeps showing up. It's about consistency. I don't even get paid.
Starting point is 02:14:22 I haven't heard of Wings in like a year, year and a half. You haven't? Oh, my God. Wings is famous. Wings has done so many things since you've been gone. All right? So for the last year, he's been getting trolled so hard that he spawned like a dozen troll channels. An industry.
Starting point is 02:14:43 that he spawned like a dozen troll channels. An industry. There are YouTube channels with like tens and tens of thousands of subscribers that sometimes get half a million views on videos that are just taking his Twitch streams and making troll content out of them. There are music videos that are well produced singing about wings.
Starting point is 02:14:59 We should watch Mr. Big Guy right now. It's so fucking good. It's music though. I feel like it's going to get copyright claimed. I mean... I'll watch it after. right now it's so fucking good it's music though i feel like it's gonna get copyright claim i i mean i'll watch it after what's it called i'll link you mr big guy it's so good but i i know he did he got a he got a one of those weight he went to mexico and got weight loss surgery that his stomach now like his stomach stomach on the inside is four ounces he's lost we don't know how much he's lost but i would say 100 pounds maybe maybe maybe 75 to 100 pounds a lot um he looks different he looks different um you know he's but but he's never been more unhappy yeah he's just so it kind of laid it out there
Starting point is 02:15:39 there's an industry trolling wings right now and it's interesting because wings will stream and get a couple hundred people but he is way more famous than his personal numbers reflect they're yeah the people who upload content about wings and nothing else by the way it's not like these are troll channels doing a little bit of wings and a little bit of pewdiepie or no these are wings channels that's all they do they go to his stream, find highlights every time he dies in a game or something. They put it all together. Some of them are hard. Wings has a Twitch where I guess he sniffs his hand or he rubs his nose like that. There'll be like a four-minute, eight-minute compilation of him rubbing his nose.
Starting point is 02:16:21 The one where he creaked his chair. His chair, it underwent a lot of stress and now when he moves it makes more noise than other chairs do. There's like an 11 minute chair creaking compilation. And it blows my mind.
Starting point is 02:16:38 So Wings is in some ways just exploding. And oh you might not know this. He put out there that he wanted to get the weight loss surgery and people started donating to him to assist him in that weight loss surgery i think his goal was 30 000 which he way surpassed and then he because i think because he was a little scared of getting the surgery done he's not a guy who's left hometown very much yeah and he was going to go to Mexico and get a surgery.
Starting point is 02:17:05 So that's way outside a lot of comfort zones, but outrageous for Wings himself. And he told some lies, to be fair, about the progress on it. You know, like, he'd be like, I don't have a date yet, but I got my plane tickets, so that's moving along well. No, you don't. Oh, yeah, you could just change the date on plane tickets. It's no big deal.
Starting point is 02:17:24 Yes, it is. So the trolls just spawned and grew, and Wings is now, I want to say, as famous as he's ever been. When I go into COD lobbies in Blackout, my friends will frequently do this. They'll just type into the all chat so that all 100 players can see it. They'll be like, any Wings of Redemption fans? And they'll just spit back quotes and stuff
Starting point is 02:17:48 in the chat. Every single lobby, they know Wings of Redemption. They know who he is. They'll be like, look here, look, listen. They'll say stuff like that, which is one of his famous quotes. He's freaked out. He's like, look here, look, listen. He grabs the mic and screams at it.
Starting point is 02:18:04 Appearing offline doesn't stop it. We know the quote. Stop talking about things you know nothing about. Yeah. Oh, man. Ban anyone who talks about things they don't think about. I'm looking at one. WeStreetDemons gets stream sniped and loses it. $886,000.
Starting point is 02:18:24 What? MrBigGuy video I linked is 886,000 views. What? Mr. Big Guy video I linked is 150,000, and it's the best content that's been produced ever. Let's roll the dice. Let's play it. No, I'll watch it over here. Have you seen how Mr. Medeker is? Yeah, I was about to link Mr. Medeker
Starting point is 02:18:42 and show him that too. Not to watch, but just to see the views on it. Yeah, he made like a full-length documentary. Do you know Mr. Medeker? No. He does exposés on people. Oh my god, I'm going to stop this because it's fucking funny. Were you watching Mr. Big Guy for a second?
Starting point is 02:18:58 Yeah, it got to the point to where some dude's like... Hex, look at the views on the one that's got the call of duty like icon on it that video that i just linked look look at the views on that in their internet oh my god momentum in 756 000 views from just a few months ago it hit half a million in like a like a couple weeks oh so when he comes back and gets back into the swing of things... I don't know. He wants $3,000 to come on the show.
Starting point is 02:19:31 How much? $10,000 per episode. He said if we paid him $10,000, he would come on PK again. Dude, I know you guys aren't going to like it, but I think it'd be worth it, man. The cartoons, the animation, they were all...
Starting point is 02:19:49 Anyway. Listen, thank you for having me on. I'm going to go home and spend some time with the fam before they go to bed. It was good catching up, man. If you guys are ever again in Texas, hit me up. We'll do the Eves drop. Or...
Starting point is 02:20:03 I don't know, maybe. Maybe we'll do it like this in this format, which would be easier for everyone. But anyway, I do appreciate it. Pimp your stuff. Tell us where you can find us. Tell us about your social media, your podcast, everything optic that you'd like our listeners to know about. Lay it out. So, yeah, so if you guys like podcasts like this one, not as good or as consistent, it's just as brand new.
Starting point is 02:20:24 It's the eavesdrop podcast is syndicated to every single audio platform uh it's fun on on youtube and uh we haven't done any live live events yet but but it's something so so far uh you know honorable mentions we have whiz from the head of gaming at google nate shaskumpy uh courage uh you know hastro and david von der hart so far and a couple of cool guests in the upcoming show so yeah please please check it out yeah on youtube uh hex is uh you can just find me as hex h3cc or hecc i appreciate it i thank you so much thanks for coming on thank you boys i'll uh when does this go live when can i watch it saturday you're what i miss
Starting point is 02:21:05 noon something like that okay but okay so i have to be a patreon to see it or no that's when it goes live for everybody okay perfect all right yes yeah patreons will get it tonight yeah yeah awesome thank you boys be good okay yep later man take care bye-bye all right let me do a couple of advertisements here if you're carrying revolving debt that means you're not paying off your card every month. And you could be paying thousands in interest every year, but you don't have to. With LendingClub, you can consolidate your debt or pay off credit cards with one fixed monthly payment. Since 2007, LendingClub has helped millions of people regain control of their finances with affordable, fixed-rate personal loans. No trips to the bank, no high-interest credit cards.
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Starting point is 02:22:15 That's very smart consolidating all of your bills into one nice little monthly payment. Getting that interest off your back. Also, Squarespace. This episode of PKA is sponsored by our friends over at Squarespace. Whether you need a domain, website, or online store, make back. Also, Squarespace. This episode of PK is sponsored by our friends over at Squarespace. Whether you need a domain, website, or online store, make your next move with Squarespace. With easy-to-use tools, you can create a beautiful website with Squarespace all in one platform. This is nothing to install,
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Starting point is 02:23:05 slash pka begin the next move in your career today with squarespace check that out good stuff yeah smart moves build your website with squarespace and make sure that you're taking care of yourself financially don't wait until uh until you're in your late 20s or something to do that. You won't like it. I was meaning like aggregating all those payments and taking more responsibility. It's a better thing to do right now. I enjoyed Hex. I'm glad we had him on. Yeah, stroll down memory lane.
Starting point is 02:23:39 And if you guys are only doing the audio version, you really should watch the video version of this so you could see Hex's badass setup there and all that stuff that he was talking about behind him. It was very cool. Yeah, it was really cool. So fitness. Dude.
Starting point is 02:23:52 Now, I am still stuck because I can't get my device to work. Tell me about your customer support experience. Are you talking to humans? Are they getting back to you? Are they, like... What's happening on their side? I sent them the support kind of email
Starting point is 02:24:08 and then got back the boilerplate. It's been added to the list of things that they're working to handle. And Chiz was like, just use your Twitter. That'll get them way, way faster. And so I used my Twitter and complained about what was going on
Starting point is 02:24:23 and they got to me pretty quick in DMs. But they were like, oh, okay, someone's definitely going to be helping you tomorrow. And then tomorrow, which was yesterday, came and went. The person that got to you on Twitter maybe works in marketing and not support or something. Yeah, yeah. They even told me, oh, send it to this email. And I'm like, yeah, I did send it to that email. It's not going to work fast enough.
Starting point is 02:24:43 I explained the podcast situation and even told them, so this is. And I'm like, yeah, I did send it to that email. It's not going to work fast enough. Like I explained the podcast situation and even told them like, so this is the issue I'm having. It's recording my heart rate and it's sending it to my phone. But then when I try and go to the part, which is quote my stats, which is the area where you'd see me, Woody, Kyle, and Chiz is kind of in that for, uh, just showing all of our activity. It doesn't go to that. It says that I haven't done the activity, even when it's, it says processed in another part of the app and so i don't know what it is i think they're gonna have to handle it from their end but i don't know i i wish it would have been a little faster because i was like ready i was amped up ready to go like excited to get this going so i was disappointing yeah have you tried making a new account well it's already registered with the
Starting point is 02:25:22 account that i used to make it there like when i when i bought it i pre-registered i didn't receive it and then register yeah see that was something i didn't understand about so you pre-registered as did woody chis and i did not pre-register it um and so woody what were you given a facility code when you pre-ordered it did you ever have to involve a facility code with your setup? No. So when you buy it, you can either create an account, which involves a facility code, or you can just log in. So when I bought mine, I logged in and it came pre-programmed with that facility code. If you look at it on my account, it says my zone. Okay.
Starting point is 02:25:57 So we've gotten to a bit of the issue then because Chiz and I, we did not pre-register. We just like closed that box. And so when it came, we had to register it. And that involved me contacting them and getting the facility code. I believe if you're an independent person not working through a MyZone gym, the code is generic. It's region-based, or more specifically, it's nation-based. They gave me the code for the United States of America, which I won't give it out.
Starting point is 02:26:23 It's just like MZUS001. You know, it's very generic. Taylor didn't have that same experience, it seems. It seems that his did not come to him pre-registered or coded because he did need that facility code. And I shared with him my facility code. So I think therein lies a bit of the issue that occurred. Like, I feel like they should be able to hop in on their end and get this straightened out pretty quick like they must be dealing with a lot of issues with these devices so i pre-registered and mine came pre-programmed it sounds like you pre-registered and yours came poorly programmed or something like that like it
Starting point is 02:26:59 just it didn't didn't sync up like it was supposed to yeah i just don't get why because it's not like the whole thing is busted or something. It records my data correctly. It just doesn't send it to where it's supposed to. So we'll get it figured out, because I'm really looking forward to this. As far as punishments go, where are you guys leaning? So I love the idea that winner chooses the vacation. Hmm. I like that one. the vacation. Hmm.
Starting point is 02:27:27 I like that one. That's the winner one, though. That could be fun. But that's also a punishment for the losers because they've got to finance it. I agree. Yeah. Oh, you know what? Maybe we should put a budget on that because I don't want, like...
Starting point is 02:27:38 Honestly, I'm already not psyched that I'm probably going to be out half a grand when I lose on this. I don't want to be bankrolling someone's vacation, so I'm not going to do that. It's funny to me out half a grand when I lose on this. I don't want to be bankrolling someone's vacation, so I'm not going to bet. It's funny to me, too, because you're probably going to win. Even if I win, I'm paying my way through our trip. I don't want it to be a money thing. Okay, okay. I'm with
Starting point is 02:27:58 you on that, and I think I agree. Maybe we just go do something like that anyway at some point, and we all just cover our own ends or something like that. So maybe that's not a good idea to punish whoever's already coming out with $500 to pay for belts and championship belts and stuff like that. Maybe we don't lay another $1,500, $2,000 or whatever. It could get crazy.
Starting point is 02:28:17 So I like ideas that involve us on this show doing something painful, humiliating, or silly. Things that create content for the show. So it kind of comes full circle, and there's a bit of a feedback loop of good content. I have an idea about that, where the loser, the fourth place person, has to write an official, real, not ad-libbed, a real speech. Not sarcastic in any way. It must be a speech lauding, praising,
Starting point is 02:28:48 heaping, heaping adulation onto the winner in a way where you're constantly having to say to yourself, and I myself as a weaker man was not capable of doing, but it has to be, and you can't sneak jokes in. You can't sneak jokes in to try and dig at him. You have to write an adulating
Starting point is 02:29:04 speech and be very humble giving it. So who does this to who? Fourth, does it to first? sneak jokes in. You can't sneak jokes in to try and dig at them. You have to write an adulating speech and be very humble giving it. So who does this to who? Fourth does it to first? The fourth place player has to really blow the first place person. Can I jump in and say let's make that the third place person has to do that for first place.
Starting point is 02:29:19 Because I think fourth place should be because I think fourth place should be a little worse. I like the idea of something like that one chip challenge where you have to either gross or painful and something you eat. So one idea would be eating bugs, right? You can buy those packages of like crickets and grasshoppers and shit like that, eating a whole package of those.
Starting point is 02:29:40 What is one chip? One chip is this, it's like a single package. I believe it's like a chip that's like super spicy it's it's covered in some kind of crazy extra large painfully spicy dorito yeah okay that's all right well i i don't like that at all and so it's probably a good idea right i would hate that like like i was i was sitting here last night i made myself like a burrito bowl type thing. I put a bunch of sriracha on it. I was crying just from sriracha.
Starting point is 02:30:12 That chip... This is a scary looking package. Packy tortilla chips. It looks like a casket. This is good. I like this idea for fourth place. I like it too. What I don't want to do is bring shame to my family.
Starting point is 02:30:30 I don't want fourth place to have to slide over three feet and see how fast they could jerk off and show the semen as proof. Look. No one wants you to do that. Well, we all did that before the show. We kept telling Woody you didn't have to. Well, we all did that before the show. We kept telling Woody
Starting point is 02:30:46 you didn't have to. Woody, the competition hasn't started yet. So I was just, you know, I don't want to bring shame to my family. But I'll eat a spicy chip. Yeah, I'm with you there. We'll do it towards the end of the show
Starting point is 02:31:01 with maybe like 20 minutes remaining so it doesn't actually fuck with the talking part. But that'd be funny to do it towards the end of the show with maybe like 20 minutes remaining so it doesn't actually fuck with the talking part. But that would be funny to do it towards the end. Yeah. Vote on these ones we're coming up with right now in the comments or on the subreddit. I really think that the speech idea has potential to be funny. I think the speech idea is great. I like the SAT, ACT idea.
Starting point is 02:31:21 I think that's fun. We couldn't film it though. That's like the big thing that was at that. I think you film up to it, and then immediately afterwards, your feelings, your level of confidence. I don't know. There's something no bullshit about that that's a little revealing. I'm not sure I match high school Woody's SATs.
Starting point is 02:31:44 No way. I haven't done algebra in school Woody's SATs. No way. I haven't done algebra in a long time. Yeah. No. See, that one wouldn't work because none of us would take it seriously. I guarantee five seconds in, I'd be like, this is silly and dumb. I'm not going to actually take it that seriously. So you're going to post your 300 and be like, here it is.
Starting point is 02:32:03 I didn't try. It's just not that funny, I don't think. I like the content idea. It's the number one thing the fans want. Or the thing of having to start your own web content for a while. Like five episodes of a solo podcast, or five episodes of you playing COD, or Magic, or whatever the case might be.
Starting point is 02:32:22 I think that one is going to be good. People want more content. Yeah, I think that one is going to be good. People want more content. Yeah, I think that'd be good too. I think they'd be pretty excited about it. And like I said, I think you can upload it anywhere. Because I know Kyle might not want to put a driving vlog on FPS Russia.
Starting point is 02:32:38 That might damage the brand. But he could put it on KLM4Numbers, I forgot. Yeah, I've got that channel that's just FPS. I could put it on KLM4Numbers, I forgot. Yeah, I've got that channel that's just FPS. I could put it there if I could figure out what the password is to it. You can put it on my channel. Once I remember the password to that.
Starting point is 02:32:53 Exactly, right? We could do something like that. Honestly, I don't feel like that's a punishment, though. That's my issue with that. I get that the fans might enjoy that, and maybe that's just something we should do. I'd be down to do some gaming content. Maybe we just start a brand new channel
Starting point is 02:33:10 and just put the content there or something like that. I'd love that. How about the loser has to get all the balls rolling on a PKA Play's legit channel? I mean, what balls are there to roll? That's like an email. All right, fair enough. That's really easy. Yeah, I would just be like, all right, I lost. I have to what balls are there to roll? That's like an email. Alright, fair enough. That's really easy. Yeah, I would just be like,
Starting point is 02:33:28 alright, I lost. I have to get the ball rolling. Chiz, so we're going to want the branding to be nice. Get going on this. You know, I'm going to delegate. Chiz loses no matter what. Yeah, exactly. Oh, wait, wait, wait. But about Chiz. Like, at one point, what episode is Chiz coming on the show? Because that
Starting point is 02:33:44 has to be a part of his competition. He has to come on and be able to talk. I feel like Chiz can fix his audio. It is true. I talked to Chiz just before the show, and I was thinking to myself, is his audio really that bad? Yeah, it was pretty shitty. But you can fix that!
Starting point is 02:34:00 Chiz is an audio technician. I don't know if you guys know this. He literally would do audio tech, I think at MLG you guys know this. He literally would do like audio tech. I think at MLG or something. Like it's a thing that he's good at. So he can solve this problem. Well, of course he could. Like if he could – rat.
Starting point is 02:34:14 Did he say that? I mean worst case scenario, what? He goes and gets an Airbnb in the area for $200 and he goes and stays somewhere and invites a nice lady over for the evening and he films from there. He could make something happen. He says he's going to come on when the results are revealed, which would be in a month or so.
Starting point is 02:34:35 At the end of the competition, if you get fourth, you have to take a shirtless picture and put it on Twitter or Reddit or something like that. That's awful embarrassing. No, I don't want to take a shirtless picture. Meanwhile, Taylor is like, Oh, that's such bullshit. I just processed that.
Starting point is 02:34:51 Taylor's like, you know, we should take shirtless pictures. Dude, there's a bunch of trash around here. It's not going to look good. Get a pump before you do it. Get a spray on tan. Everybody's like, well, Taylor lost, and I want to You're going to look good. You're going to stand up and flex and get a pump before you do it. Get a spray on tan and get the lighting just right.
Starting point is 02:35:10 Everybody's like, well, Taylor lost, and I want to fuck him. Taylor's punishment will show up on his Tinder profile. That's horseshit. Damn it, I thought I would sneak that one past the goalie. Chiz, would you write down who you think will come in first through fourth and i'll circle back to it i want to know where chis's confidence level yeah i like the idea of eating that chip that chip is awful i i think that anyone who who is like oh i don't care about that you should go watch one of the videos of someone eating one of those chips and see just how horrific it is it's it's very rough i mean like you like, you immediately, if it's, like, ghost peppers or anything like that,
Starting point is 02:35:47 like, your whole sinuses become inflamed. Like, it hurts to breathe. You're, like, suffocating because you've got mucus pouring out of your nose and, like, so much spit in your mouth. A little better than that, pepper spray yourself on the show. I've got a can of Saber Red in the other room over there i'd happily douse myself with it real good and uh and it is one of the worst experiences i've ever gone through in my life although 15 minutes later you can continue your podcast there's just 50 there's
Starting point is 02:36:18 20 minutes of suffering while you wash your you wash your eyes i prefer the chip idea oh and by the way i would do chis says it's gonna to go Chiz, Kyle, Woody, Taylor. If there's one thing we know for sure, I'm in third. I feel like that's consistent with it. No matter who you ask, I'm nailing third. I'm really going to go for third because I would a million times rather write a really over-the-top, adulating speech about Kyle or Chiz than I would rather eat that chip, because this chip
Starting point is 02:36:47 looks terrible. Absolutely. Well, I like these ideas. And I do a tattoo as well. I wouldn't do a tattoo. I will not do a tattoo. I'm a parent. I get this, yeah. For all I know, me too.
Starting point is 02:37:05 So am I. Big deal. You think my kids care? They don't even know, me too. So am I. Big deal. You think my kids care? They don't even know where I am. This isn't for the show. This is a disguise. Yeah, no, I try not to break the rules. No, you're looking for a Kyle Myers with no beard.
Starting point is 02:37:19 Oh, here's the thing I wanted to share with people. These are the belt logos. Yeah, man. So just in case you're not in the know, part of the winner's purse, if you will, is a championship belt. Another idea that I stole. And it will feature some PKA relevant emblems
Starting point is 02:37:40 all around it, you know? So Chiz's buddy made these for us. The taco is mine. It's meant to represent my two favorite things in the world, pussy and food, all in one package. Excellent job with that. It's a little meatier than I prefer, just saying.
Starting point is 02:37:56 All right? But I think he did an excellent job there, and that would look really nice engraved in gold around my waist. so i i i need to i need to fix the images people can't see anyone but me but kyle is the taco taylor is this amazing owl with like hammers forming an x behind it with a little nod to saint louis uh chiz is a coffee cup dr coffee md and i am this paragliding wing with clouds and a propeller and a compass thing. I saw this, and I immediately wanted to know who did it.
Starting point is 02:38:33 I was so impressed with it. Yours is excellent. I feel like you probably want that as an actual family crest. Right? I want to do something with this. I'm like, should I change my channel? How about a tattoo of it? That's just a great idea.
Starting point is 02:38:48 With hammers behind it. Well, when I was in my 20s, I was on a podcast and a loft. What was it called, Grandpa? Don't worry about it. Ever since the great YouTube scrub of 42. Grandpa Taylor did a podcast
Starting point is 02:39:09 in the early 2000s where he said a lot of things that would get him put in prison now in our luxury gay space communism. Oh, shit. Oh, man. You know, I saw something really interesting today that like i'd never seen before i was getting gas at a gas station where i'd get most of my gas and i was filling up i had to process that sorry so you get your gas at what kind of store i don't know why i included the detail
Starting point is 02:39:41 it's getting gas there was uh this woman with down syndrome in front of me with putting gas in a car. And I was like, huh, that's really nice of whoever's driving to let her feel part of the gang, getting this going. I bet she's in there buying a soda or whatever, or he or whoever this person's guardian is. And so I was like, all right. And I walk in to get myself my Diet Pepsi. And I'm like, oh, nobody in here. That's weird. And so I got my Pepsi, and I walked back out,
Starting point is 02:40:12 and I pull my gas thing out. And I see her. She'd already taken hers out. She's a couple steps ahead of me. And I was like, what is she doing? And then she got in the front of the car and drove away. And I was like, is this allowed yeah retarded people allowed to drive i was like this this can't possibly be cool like what i i mean she didn't get
Starting point is 02:40:36 an accident from what i could tell but immediately it is like let me look inside and what really? It's like interesting. I had no idea they were allowed to drive. They totally are. They have to pass the same driver's test written and driven like anyone else. And if they pass it, they get a license. And the other thing about down syndrome that isn't widely known is you can't look at them and see how severe their down syndrome is.
Starting point is 02:41:04 There's a medium and I think it's called mosaic down syndrome, where some people look like they have down syndrome, but they barely have it. And then the opposite is true, too, where some people look pretty much like everybody else. They don't have that characteristic down syndrome vibe about them, but they actually have down syndrome. Yeah, who's that comedian who did the bit where he's like uh there's nothing worse than going up to ask what looks like a normal dude direction and then you're like hey do you know how to get to i hop from here he turns around he's
Starting point is 02:41:34 like oh do you want to do it and then you're like ah what are you doing walking around looking normal get out of here like that's so mean i don't like that oh it's a bad case remember who that comedian i go but yeah i had no idea that people with down syndrome could drive i knew it was i'd never heard that term mosaic but i knew that there were like there was a spectrum of it but i didn't know that any spectrum part was like so not impaired that you could that you're allowed to drive just a touch of the downs just a little bit yeah yeah i'm trying to think like i've seen um there was a guy who did a TV show. He was an actor and it centered around
Starting point is 02:42:08 him. I think he was the star of his own TV show. He had Down Syndrome. I thought Kyle would know the actor's name immediately because sometimes he does. That guy must have been memorizing lines and running a show and doing stuff that's a lot tougher than driving. Running a show is maybe
Starting point is 02:42:24 not the thing. The show was called Downtown. Was it? Was it really? No, it wasn't. All right, I'm too gullible. I've got my own disabilities. 23's Company.
Starting point is 02:42:39 You guys are bad. Well, I looked up Down Syndrome TV show and the first thing it says is it's about keeping up with the Kardashians. That's funny. It's called Life Goes On, I think. And the guy's name was Corky, and the actor's name was Chris Burke. But, yeah, that guy, like, I don't know. He was the star of the show.
Starting point is 02:42:59 He had a lot of lines. So, mosaic. Yeah, there was a movie that specifically had like oh the ringer when johnny knoxville basically pretends like he's retarded to win the special olympics and he ends up befriending all of his all of these people who are on the retarded and like they're played by actors who are clearly retarded but but they're fine and i feel like they're what you described what do they just got a touch of the downs and they're you know they're played by actors who are clearly retarded, but they're fine. I feel like they're what you described, Woody. They just got a touch of the downs.
Starting point is 02:43:26 And they know their lines. They're funny. Their timing is good. It's, yeah. I think it's one of the guys in that movie has actual down syndrome, and he has the look that he looks like he'd be severely impaired,
Starting point is 02:43:39 but it was what he described that he clearly doesn't. Because he's in some old, that same dude is in some old Jackass and Wild Boys clips, where they, in the like jackass 2.5 or whatever where like they do stuff with him there and he's clearly like impaired but he's like cracking jokes like with it with them yeah you might not want to be a crane operator but he can he can he can come up with a good joke and he can act you Plenty of people fall within that. Wings was a crane operator.
Starting point is 02:44:09 Wings has been... Yeah, right? Confirmed. Confirmed. Please, come on. I'm just telling you what Wings says. Okay, well, I didn't know. There should be a whole channel called Wings Says. And now there is.
Starting point is 02:44:22 Like recently, I've owned three motorcycles in my life flipped them all just just drop that out there laid that little thing out there what did i used to do for a living i was a crane operator slash metallurgist just dropped it dropped that out well maybe by crane he's not talking about the thing that we're thinking of where you sit inside like a vehicle almost yeah operate a tower. Maybe the crane is more like, what do you call it when there's like the chains that lift things on rails? Is it a gurney system? I know what you're talking about.
Starting point is 02:44:58 I don't know what it's called, but it's like inside of plants and factories, they're used to like move heavy things around and they're sort of on a track. I'm sure he's talking about that, but I just don't know if they allowed him to operate it but like like when he describes his job what i've heard the most is when he's like knocking slag off of the melting pots or whatever which involves taking like a big metal shovel and hitting a thing with it and that sounds to me more like a wings job he was uh he used to brag about how he ratted on his co-workers a lot like if they didn't work hard enough he'd go to management and tell him that that guy wasn't carrying his load and i i don't know that always sat a little wrong with me it's something that young people do actually they don't keep to themselves a little bit and try to like tell on each other yeah when you hit
Starting point is 02:45:41 30 at work like i don't know dude when i was 19 like working in that car dealership like there was a bond between us like like like there was a hierarchy of people that like will share i'll share everything with my friends i'll share almost everything with my co-workers i'll share most stuff with my like managers and we don't say shit to like the managers managers who work at corporate like like when they come down we all try to make the people above us look good by doing what we're supposed to be doing you know like like nobody's throwing anybody under the bus or anything like that like i think i can almost explain that right like you worked in sales which is a batch of people with a high eq right iq is intelligence
Starting point is 02:46:18 eq is this emotional quote being able to relate to people car salesmen are that they get weeded out if they're not good at that. I worked with computer programmers. These are the opposite end of the spectrum, right? People who might be in the autism range or a lot of them from a foreign land of some sort. And they just had different cultural norms. Yeah, that's a double fucking fist right there when you're both, perhaps on the spectrum, your mind is built to be good at that programming job. That's a double fucking fist right there when you're both perhaps on the spectrum.
Starting point is 02:46:48 Your mind is built to be good at that programming job. And just because you have that aptitude, that's probably isolated you a bit from people already. And you don't have the aptitude to counteract it either. And then on top of all of that, you're Indian in America, which is just the worst, which is just the worst. We've talked about that before. If we got to pick a race, I'd pick Jewish. Like that's definitely – I think that's the best group of people to belong to is to be Jewish. They have their own thing. They're –
Starting point is 02:47:20 We don't need a wall. We just need to hang a giant net between here and India, right? Chiz doesn't want to talk about our favorite and least favorite races, which is where we were heading. I mean, I was interested to get the new... You know, Kyle's rankings are like the AP Top 25. Like, they're always morphing, changing. He's taking things into account.
Starting point is 02:47:39 He's got a very sophisticated algorithm. And so I'm always fascinated to learn who's moved up, who's had a good week, what are the power rankings. Like if Ireland has a great week. Right. They go up. Suddenly Conor McGregor wins. I don't think Switch is.
Starting point is 02:47:53 But America's always won, isn't it? Or sometimes does America get knocked down? Well, are we talking about our favorite countries and where we win? And America's not a race. America's a melting pot. Oh, okay. Well, then fuck whatever I was saying.
Starting point is 02:48:04 Do you? Do you? My Skype doesn't auto- was saying. Do you, do you. My Skype doesn't auto-scroll. Do you know the solution for that? Maybe you have to, like, I don't know. Mine doesn't either. Especially because you're doing, like, your OBS thing and recording and stuff.
Starting point is 02:48:15 Mine does auto-scroll. Like, right now I am full screen in, like, I don't know if it's called windowed mode or whatever it is. The new Skype is annoying. I've got a giant box of Woody. Huge. Taylor and I are on these two little boxes off to the side. Then I've got the chat on the left side of my screen.
Starting point is 02:48:31 If you click on me, will it right-size me? No, I've been trying to so hard. Hey, words hurt, man. It just makes it worse. I just keep supersizing every time. I double-tap to you, and you just got massive. Is it okay if I rub my nipples? Is that funny?
Starting point is 02:48:52 Oh, God, no. I'm on screen. That's the punishment. For hours three to four, you must be touching your nipples at all times on the show. Don't explain it to guests. And it has to be under the shirt. That's an interesting thing to do.
Starting point is 02:49:08 Maybe there's a component where we don't we have a guest on Punishment Week and we don't tell them about an embarrassing thing that we're doing the whole time. Like maybe Taylor has to stutter. The loser has to stutter. And really drag things out with a guest
Starting point is 02:49:24 who has no idea. So Paul Paul and really drag things out with a guest who has no idea. You're like, so Paul? Paul? This is making me uncomfortable already. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. What? Wondering. The stutterer slaps himself.
Starting point is 02:49:41 Or you could just do Tourette's. Tourette's might be great. Like, you know that the the the guy's talking telling his story you just like bullshit fucking bullshit but every you have to a lot of hard r's have to be dropped you need to sell it you gotta do that that's rough like in college you're stuttering, you're like, and you fucking idiot. Fucking get it out. Like that kind of thing.
Starting point is 02:50:11 That would make me more uncomfortable than pretty much anything else you said. Do you guys have little things where weird random stuff will pull on your heartstrings more than other stuff? Like where I'll be like, oh, yeah, clearly it's sad when someone dies a terrible, terrible untimely death but then you'll see like a puppy it happened to and it's like man i know on a logical level it's much sadder for a human but like the puppy gets to you more because it's innocent that's how i am with people who have like speech impediments or stutter is i don't know what it is like i feel so bad for them like it must suck to like be that self-conscious all the time because you know those people are going out there like uh you know someone's going to be that self-conscious all the time, because you know those people are going out there like,
Starting point is 02:50:45 someone's going to be thinking about this and doing this and that, and it's not their fault. Most of these people try their damnedest to get rid of these. I don't know. That really makes me feel for people is when they have a speech impediment or stutter. The thing that makes me really sad, I saw this
Starting point is 02:51:01 earlier. There's a family in a doctor's office, and the two-year-old girl is hearing for the first time she got an implant or something like that and the mother's holding her and the little girl starts reacting in this really adorable she's like oh she's hearing and the mom's holding her and the mom's face just gets so red and she's just sobbing with like you know happiness for the daughter and i i i like i was scrolling through reddit looking for like topics and stuff uh like like an hour ago and i saw that and i i i like i was scrolling through reddit looking for like topics and stuff uh like like an hour ago and i saw that and i i was it really hurt my feelings like i don't know if that's not the right thing it it pulled at my heartstrings i was i was about to cry with her
Starting point is 02:51:33 yeah i saw a similar one or kyle mentioned but um it was a dude it was a grown-up and he had lost his hearing as an adult and it was was a really tough time for him. I think he had some other maladies that went with it. And as he got his hearing back, he was gay. He either proposed or was proposed to by his husband as the first words. That's really cool. Yeah, it was really powerfully done, the video. It was pretty cool.
Starting point is 02:52:00 There's a lot of those sad montages on on youtube that like every once in a while like i don't even know how i get there but it'll be like dogs like running at soldiers when they get back home and shit or like a really young girl or boy like seeing their like dad show up at career day forum and like i've watched those before and it's like a 20 minute video montage and i'm like at 12 minutes in like crying and i'm like why am i doing this like i'm so sad like i've done that we've both gone down the um arm wrestler uh what do they call the hole the bunny hole anyway i forgot but yeah we've both gone down the arm wrestling route of watching video after video of guys with like strength deformities in their left arm. They just win like world championships.
Starting point is 02:52:46 It's pretty cool. Yeah. The one guy with the hand. Yeah. With the, with the arm, the size of a normal person's quad. Yeah. That guy's insane.
Starting point is 02:52:54 Dude. And the people he's competing against are also practically superhuman. And when, like when you dwarf me, well, you're amongst the 1% of the population that can do that. When you dwarf people who dwarf me, now you're outrageous. His arm is so big that you would think he was cosplaying as Hellboy from 15 feet away.
Starting point is 02:53:19 That's how big it is. His hand is bigger than Hellboy's mitt. I arm wrestled the shit out of Hellboy. His hand's easily bigger than your head. If he were to hold your face, it would be way bigger. Other big men with big hands, he'll grab around their whole hand, and it'll end down here, in the middle of their forearm. It's insane.
Starting point is 02:53:40 It's crazy. Those people have to be like, this is ridiculous. That particular guy, he was a world champion with his right arm. Then he got injured, so he just started being a world champion lefty. Oh, that would be so insulting. You only won because of your fucked up, goofy hand. He's like, actually, you know, I'm pretty good with the other one. It's like, yeah, well, I bet.
Starting point is 02:54:01 Both his arms are huge like that. Yeah, it's crazy. I don't know. I was thinking of that other guy who's only got one big arm have you seen that he's like a pretty normal looking dude but then he's got one enormous arm and hand that like hangs down like an extra hand length that's how homer simpson became an arm wrestling champion remember that no homer simpson went to like um i want to say the episode entailed him going to mBain's, who was like the Arnold Schwarzenegger rip-off guy character.
Starting point is 02:54:27 He was going bankrupt, and Homer goes to his yard sale, and there's only one dumbbell for sale. And Homer's like, yeah, I'll take it. And Homer's so dumb, he never switches arms. And he just keeps curling with like one arm
Starting point is 02:54:40 while he's drinking beer, while he's watching TV, and weeks go by, and he's just enormous. And Mo comes up with this gag where they can trick people. He'll challenge people to an arm wrestling match, and Mo will be like, hey, you want to make it interesting? Let's make it $500.
Starting point is 02:54:56 And the guy's like, sure, because they're looking at Homer's weak side. And then Homer turns around and produces this enormous fucking jacked left arm. And they're just like, ah, come on. There's so many good classic Simpsons episodes. I want to get back in. Oh, speaking of those shows that we'd spoken about recently we haven't seen in a while, King of the Hill apparently just got added to Hulu. Hulu.
Starting point is 02:55:19 I just saw that. People have been tweeting it at me. So that's great news. Can you explain Hulu pricing? Is it like so much a month and then so much a month plus more to not have advertising? Yeah, it's $11.99 a month I think if you don't want ads. That's what I have. Yeah.
Starting point is 02:55:34 I think it's like $3 less if you have ads. I think it's the same price as Netflix. What is Netflix now? They just went up. Maybe $12. I really don't pay attention. And it depends on what level and if you're doing 4k and how many screens etc but uh yeah whatever it is it's worth it i was talking some old men about this the other day like like i was uh i was with my dad and like and he two of
Starting point is 02:55:55 his friends had showed up they wanted to buy some stuff for from me and they're all in their 60s and uh and they were like you know what we got? We got the Netflix over at our house. It's got everything. These guys are literally just discovering Netflix. And I'm like, well, have you seen this show? And they're like, no, I've checked. And I'm like, tell them about Vikings. I'm like, tell them about House of Cards.
Starting point is 02:56:17 And he takes out an actual pen and pad and he goes, all right, well, I'm going to tune that in tonight. That's good. You know, ain't got no damn ads on it either i last thing i want to hear about is some mesothelioma or a class action lawsuit that's all you hear about when you turn on regular tv and i'm like yeah that's bullshit those are fox news ads not normal that's daytime tv ads that's what okay i don't know that's that's local news ads. Old people shit. Where it's all like, oh, is your back hurt?
Starting point is 02:56:48 Yeah, old time. It might be someone else's fault. That's really fun. It's almost like the same kind of experience that I would get showing matches to a tribesman who had never seen them before. I get like when I got my grandma to start work, uh,
Starting point is 02:57:09 to figure out, uh, HBO and get her house, not her house of cards, her game of Thrones thing going because she's this old woman who grew up without running water with an outhouse, like never like lives in a rural ass area, like not very good internet at all.
Starting point is 02:57:23 And like when she finally got it to click because for the longest time she's like well taylor there's just not enough internet out here it's not gonna it won't come through and it's like i'll figure it out for you all you know what i ended up just doing for is i bought her every single season of the show because she wasn't able to like scroll through it fast enough and like every time i would go back she'd be like oh taylor i just got to that part it called a red wedding and my god i did not know that was coming my god i love this show i can't believe how much this is a good show and it's just like yeah grandma i'm so happy to show you this my grandpa i'll be like grandpa do you ever do you want to watch game of thrones like now it's like he's gonna sit here and watch professional bull riding chewing tobacco which those are his two of his very favorite things
Starting point is 02:58:07 man you know i'm gonna do that for my dad right now because like i i yeah i'm gonna i'm gonna buy him the fucking game of thrones thing right now he needs to see it i i he's seen like one like he came over to my house one time and uh like i was i was trying to sell him on the show so i showed him battle of the bastards and of course to me is the best episode they've ever made and he was just like you weren't kidding this is incredible that was like a movie and i was like yeah i was like and you don't even know like all the backstories you don't know why this was so fucking cool and how evil that guy is and how wonderful this guy is and how annoying that redheaded bitch
Starting point is 02:58:46 is like sansa sansa sansa she uh she dressed up as morticia adams for halloween it was very hot very hot i don't laugh yeah i don't i game of thrones has gone on so long and i don't mean like it's gonna be be nine seasons total, but 13 years or something? I'm probably exaggerating. I'm frustrated. I'm legitimately a lot older than I was when they first started. I feel a good bit older from
Starting point is 02:59:17 season six. It's been four years or something. It's too long. It's coming soon. It's coming soon. Well, it's coming soon. It's coming soon. I've been watching seven years. Season one was April 17th, 2011.
Starting point is 02:59:33 I didn't expect that. But how many seasons have there been? I think seven, right? Seven years? That doesn't sound right. Anyway, I think I'm stuck on it. I've been watching Daredevil season three, which just came out on netflix very good very good i i hated season two season two annoyed the fuck out of me i didn't like and not to just beat a dead horse here but like i don't like weak female superheroes like like like and i don't mean weak physically i mean like
Starting point is 03:00:01 poorly like made i don't know. Elektra was just so annoying. I didn't buy it. I got no problem with Captain Marvel is going to be in the next Avengers. I love that. I'm familiar with that character. Incredibly powerful. Probably the most powerful member of the Avengers. No problem that she's a woman because that's explained very well how she gets her powers.
Starting point is 03:00:22 And it makes a lot of sense. But Elektra was just annoying, and then Stick. Can you use the word weak? In what way was she weak? Was she scared too much? No, no, no. Weak as in the character is, they don't explain why she's such a badass. She just studied karate real hard, harder than any professional athlete, I guess,
Starting point is 03:00:43 because she's beating up multiple men at once and her name's electra so electra she doesn't have any electricity powers no no it's an act her actual real world name is electra you know that's that's an actual like lady's name well we're getting we're getting off topic she's i just i just hated her in the show and I also hated Stick who was Daredevil's mentor who comes back as at least a 70 year old man who's blind who's beating up fit young men with guns
Starting point is 03:01:14 I just don't buy it I have stretched my disbelief enough to believe that Matt Murdock a blind man can do all the things that he does and I love that in the show. Season one is incredible. Season two was a huge letdown. Season three I fucking love because Vincent D'Onofrio, who plays Fisk, the kingpin, fucking kills it.
Starting point is 03:01:35 He's so evil and devious and not evil in the mustache twiddling kind of like, I just love being evil kind of way. He's got a goal in mind, and he's got clearly defined mental issues that make him a psychopathic, broken personality kind of person who will stop at no end to get what he wants. And he's also a fucking criminal genius, mastermind type character. And on top of all that that he's super fucking strong so every now and then he like like at one point he's in a car with a guy who's his who works for him this isn't a spoiler because it and he and he's mad at that guy not necessarily for something that guy did just for some information that they got relayed to him and he goes take off your coat
Starting point is 03:02:22 and the guy's like sir take off your coat give it to me the guy takes off his sports jacket kingpin wraps it around the guy's head and starts punching him in the face and beats him to death just right there and and the driver's like like looking up in the mirror and he's like find somewhere to get rid of the body you're just like oh fuck he's he's so hardcore they introduced a new villain this season very good season um matt murdoch is uh has played very well daredevil that that character um i i like i get annoyed with the side characters foggy his very chubby unattractive partner who who seemingly has like a gorgeous girlfriend now inexplicably and and that
Starting point is 03:03:07 redheaded chick who used to be in uh true blood you know like the young vampire whose virginity kept growing back and she annoys the fuck out of me she's just she needs to go away i think i have this daredevil lore right he got his superpowers because a toxic spill happened and it got him? He was nine years old and this truck of toxic chemicals tipped over, splashed in his eyes. And I'm pretty sure that the lore has to do with... It's the same stuff as the Ninja Turtles, yes. Right. And the guy that trains him is Stick. And the guy that trains the Ninja Turtles is Splinter because he's little.
Starting point is 03:03:44 That's all correct yes i think that's yeah yeah and uh so so you know he's not only he's blind but all of his other senses are super duper high and then one would imagine that had the ooze not going in his eyes it had gone in his mouth then he just wouldn't have been able to taste anything but he'd have been able to see like a hawk and hear everything right right? Like, I don't know. It would have worked out better for him. Oh, why didn't it go in my butthole? Shit. Hi.
Starting point is 03:04:13 So, yeah, season three of Daredevil has entertained me thoroughly. I just finished it last night. Very good season. Liked it a lot. The new villain, who is, they don't name him. That's one thing they do well is like it's kind of cheesy if you're immediately like call me daredevil i've picked that name so they really don't do that so much that the the the the public kind of names him daredevil he doesn't really go by that and
Starting point is 03:04:36 the same thing with kingpin in the comics you know he's like i'm the kingpin but in this it's like we don't use his name here we use his his code name. What's his code name? We call him the Kingpin. He doesn't call himself Kingpin. That's his code name and his evil organization. And likewise, there's a character who, I believe it's Bullseye in the comics. He was played by Colin Farrell in the shitty Daredevil movie. But in this, he's played by an absolute Norman Bates psychopathic motherfucker who hears voices in his head
Starting point is 03:05:06 and murdered birds and small animals as a child and is just a scary fucker who can just throw things, which sounds lame, but he'll get in a fight and he'll just start throwing office supplies at you super accurately, right? Scissors and staplers,
Starting point is 03:05:23 and everybody's just like, oh my god, it's an onslaught of fucking staples. Does he have a gun with him ever? Yes, yes. He often begins with the gun, but if that, if he loses the gun, then he goes to throw it. Then he's got a stapler.
Starting point is 03:05:38 He's like, quick, we gotta chase him into Office Max! No, that's just what he wants! He's in the pen section! He does that. He does that. He's throwing stuff with perfect accuracy. He'll ricochet bullets off something and hit people with them. It's this talent that he has.
Starting point is 03:06:00 I remember watching that original Daredevil movie. Maybe there's one from a long time ago I'm not familiar with. But the one with Ben Affleck and then the guy Bullseye with his, he like at one point like takes out a paper clip and like, like throws it and they're like, this guy's dying. And like, I remember watching that scene for the first time. I may have been in theaters. And I was like, wow, that's dumb.
Starting point is 03:06:22 Like that's really, that took me out of this. You already have me watching a blind guy, like, clap his way around the city, trying to figure out where he's going, tripping on things, writing his congressman for more ramps or whatever he would do. And now you've got a guy throwing staples at people? Come on. Yeah, at least you would buy, like, shurikens or something, right? Yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 03:06:44 Like a ninja star. You'd have something cool made for throwing. Or no, his thing wasn't that it was just throwing. He was accurate with like anything, right? Everything. And the same in the Netflix adaptation. Like it's anything. He shoots accurately.
Starting point is 03:06:59 Like you see a flashback where he used a baseball to kill someone. Like anything that he uses or utilizes, he's incredibly accurate with. So, like, he'd worked as a sniper. He was in the military. He was an FBI sniper. Like, he's got this whole background. What's his name again? The character's name is Poindexter.
Starting point is 03:07:16 But the villain's name in comics is known as Bullseye. Oh, wait. Oh, never mind. Thinking of Deadeye dead i mixed them up yeah yeah yeah a lot of people do that the character that will smith played in uh in that um suicide squad movie that movie sucked that was awful i have tried to watch it twice and i still haven't seen the end that movie is so bad i watched it all the way through and don't remember the end so we're on the same i mean it, it's possible I have two.
Starting point is 03:07:46 There you go. I wanted that chick to die the whole time. Margot Robbie. What do you want, Mr. J? And it's like, ah. Margot Robbie's hot enough to carry me through anything. I really liked her in Wolf of Wall Street where she goes, full frontal nudity.
Starting point is 03:08:03 Brightened, enhanced, brightened, enhanced. Brightened, enhanced. Brightened, enhanced. Brightened, enhanced. Dude, different topic. Mexico has legalized pot now? Really? When did that happen? Super recently. Hang on. I'm sorry. This is a good point. Everybody's going to be like, oh, tell us more about the legal weed. Let me get two
Starting point is 03:08:22 ads in before they can look away. You guys have heard me talk about movement. You know, those two college dropouts that started their own company. This company has grown like crazy. And now with almost 2 million watches sold in over 160 countries, they continue to revolutionize
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Starting point is 03:09:30 me a pair of those sunglasses and they're legitimately the sunglasses that I've been wearing since they sent them. And I've gotten compliments on them like out in the wild, like I don't know, at the gas station or just wherever I am. People go, oh, I like those. And they think they're much more expensive than they actually are.
Starting point is 03:09:46 They were very affordable. I like them a lot. Whenever someone is in the market for sunglasses, I link them to the ones that I use. And they're the movement brand sunglasses. I like them a lot. Very cool. Support for today's show also comes from Fallout 76. Bethesda Game Studios, the award-winning creators of Skyrim and Fallout 4,
Starting point is 03:10:06 welcome you to Fallout 76, the online prequel where every surviving human is a real person. Work together, or not, to survive. Under the threat of nuclear annihilation, you'll experience the largest, most dynamic world ever created in the legendary Fallout universe. Reclamation Day, 2102.
Starting point is 03:10:22 25 years after the bombs fall, you and your fellow Vault Dwellers chosen from the nation's best and brightest emerge into post-nuclear America play solo or join together as you explore, quest, build, and triumph against the wasteland's greatest threats Fallout 76 will be available worldwide
Starting point is 03:10:38 on Wednesday, November 14th pre-order now at participating retailers and play the beta games play best on Xbox One. I've been watching some of that content. Looks very cool. Shroud's been streaming it a bunch. If you're looking for someone who's streaming, head on over there.
Starting point is 03:10:54 Check him out. He seems to like Fallout a lot. And, of course, his incredible skills don't really translate to that world. Everybody's about at the same skill level when you're in the Fallout universe, but it's fun to watch him play. So you're telling me that Mexico has now legalized marijuana? Is that a thing? Yes.
Starting point is 03:11:13 Kind of like when we got gay marriage. It didn't happen through the legislature, it happened through the courts. They ruled four to one. The Supreme Court, I guess, has five people on it. And the one that ruled against Pot didn't even have a problem with pot he just felt like he had a problem with pot smoke and he's like yeah i don't want one guy to infringe on the rights of someone else for like clean air and that's it now mexico
Starting point is 03:11:35 has legal pot and canada has legal pot above and below us we're trapped between these these pot heads no that's awesome because now it's just another step in the right direction for the U.S. Yeah, I feel like they normalize it, right? That's what it is. When you look around, you're like, you know what? A lot of other countries do it. We wouldn't be weird. Yeah.
Starting point is 03:11:58 I don't know anyone who passionately is anti-weed at this point. The most resistance I'll hear from people is like, you know what? I personally don't do it and I don't think it is good for people. I think it makes them lazy but I think it should be legal. Maybe there are people out there that I'm not watching
Starting point is 03:12:16 but that seems to be the response. That culture has changed. I'm talking about day-to-day people. I hear you. I think what you described is not far from me. i i don't have a high level of confidence on the lazy thing and i can certainly point to examples where that's not true but just in my own like personal universe there's examples where it is true and uh so that's a thing um but here's where here's what changed my mind didn't happen that long ago,
Starting point is 03:12:45 like five or six years ago. I sort of thought like, what's the greater evil for America, right? For America, would the, as a society, we'd be better off if we threw people in jail for this,
Starting point is 03:12:58 like minor personal decision, or would we better off if we didn't throw them in jail for this? And it's like, man, you you know like if it's meth maybe we do need a strong deterrent if it's pot so what are we against again cheetos cheeto consumption like it's just it's not worth it to put them in jail for this it's a bad societal decision and that's how I changed my mind. Yeah, totally agree with you. There's no excuse for it anymore. And I don't know what the actual stat is, but it's not just a majority. It's the overwhelming majority of Americans now of all ages and stripes that are in favor of legalizing it.
Starting point is 03:13:37 I wonder if you – old people vote better than young people. They just do. I wonder if you just looked at voters how much that gets swayed towards because i also feel like old people are less pot friendly than young you know my parents don't want it my parents look at amsterdam and netherlands or whatever and and they're just like yeah it's not good you don't want that it really is a negative thing uh you know it's dirty it's stinky it's this this. It's that. They're looking to undo it, they tell me. I don't know if that's true.
Starting point is 03:14:07 They're saying they're trying to go back and make it illegal again. That might be a more common thought of people. What's a 70 rule? A sejititarian? Septuagenarian, I think. That's what I'm looking for. Yeah, septuagenarians.
Starting point is 03:14:24 Septuagenarians never miss a voting what i'm looking for yeah septuagenarians and septuagenarians never miss a voting day oh they're always there bright and early this place doesn't open early enough uh so yeah that might be why it's been slow to change chis you do you have the link um for the preschool fight club uh Right here. Thank you. So, apparently, a preschool has been running, well, a fight club, where, as you might imagine, teachers look on and cheer
Starting point is 03:14:54 while toddlers fight it out wearing Hulk smash gloves. And you might think, what kind of damage could they do? This little monster has this other kid in fucking side control just to move away from a crucifix and he's grounded pounding this motherfucker with some hulk gloves while the teacher literally dances yeah let's watch this i'm working on it yeah skype is a weird thing where sometimes you click on the link and it
Starting point is 03:15:20 pretends you clicked on a different one on the link in it. Pretend you clicked on a different one. Fucking pop-ups. I'm almost there, boys. No worries. Yeah, you're good. Alright, I'm ready. Ready, set, play. Here at Adventure Learning Center on Gravois
Starting point is 03:15:37 organized a one-day fight club in 2016 when the heater broke and they were trying to entertain the kids. Regulators did not shut down the place, but they increased inspections and found other types of violations. THE TEACHER WAS IN THE ROOM WITH HIS I-PAD. THE TEACHER WAS IN THE ROOM WITH HIS I-PAD. THE TEACHER WAS IN THE ROOM WITH HIS I-PAD. THE TEACHER WAS IN THE ROOM WITH HIS I-PAD. THE TEACHER WAS IN THE ROOM
Starting point is 03:15:49 WITH HIS I-PAD. THE TEACHER WAS IN THE ROOM WITH HIS I-PAD. THE TEACHER WAS IN THE ROOM WITH HIS I-PAD. THE TEACHER WAS IN THE ROOM WITH HIS I-PAD. THE TEACHER WAS IN THE ROOM
Starting point is 03:15:57 WITH HIS I-PAD. THE TEACHER WAS IN THE ROOM WITH HIS I-PAD. THE TEACHER WAS IN THE ROOM WITH HIS I-PAD. THE TEACHER WAS IN THE ROOM WITH HIS I-PAD. THE TEACHER WAS IN THE ROOM WITH HIS I-PAD. THE TEACHER WAS IN THE ROOM WITH HIS I-PAD. THE TEACHER WAS IN THE ROOM One teacher is excited jumping up and down while the other teacher puts her fists on preschoolers mother Nicole
Starting point is 03:16:06 Murseil cannot watch without He doesn't understand why his so Him why he got beat up by his best friends and it was on his fourth birthday Fight begins the kids fall a teacher kicks in the air and excitement The only person who tries breaking it up is another preschooler. But he cannot stop one child from pounding the other's head into the floor. They're fighting. Mersil believes it only stopped because her older son tested her video. She called the director to stop it. He said that the daycare workers were making them fight, not helping them. Daycare cameras recorded at least 30 minutes, fight after fight. Video Murciel says can be monitored by staff. Though what happened nearly two years ago, Murciel does not think enough was done.
Starting point is 03:16:56 I want them to be held accountable, and I don't want this to happen to any other child. The police report says the director immediately fired both teachers and called the child a news hotline. The St. Louis Secret Attorney's Office declined to prosecute. I reached out to both teachers, who made no comment. Though state regulators substantially complained, the Venture Learning Center continued operating normally, but with increased inspections, eight visits since documented 26 wide-ranging violations, though none exactly like the Pike Club incident. March 2018. Four-year-old child said a teacher cussed at him, flicked him, grabbed him, and pushed him to the ground.
Starting point is 03:17:34 Also this year, a quote agency staff member observed a caregiver grab a child approximately by the arm and dragged him to the ground. The director was standing in his classroom and did not respond. Oh yeah! You're playing with my box? I'm gonna send you back to the cubby. Oh yeah! When you come into this four-cornered Lincoln Log ring, you know
Starting point is 03:18:03 what you're getting. I'm bringing the pain. And the winner of the juice box invitational. Dude, look, I watched it and I reacted like I was horrified. Did you think that maybe it wasn't
Starting point is 03:18:21 quite as bad as they made it out to be? That was a big Hulk glove. No, it's pretty terrible to make children fight that aggressively in daycare when they're clearly confused and their only perspective towards an authority figure at the time is that figure jumping up and down, clapping and cheering them on. The kids crying too. Taylor, have you considered? Yeah.
Starting point is 03:18:42 Okay, okay, okay. Half of the kids didn't enjoy it. But the winners really had a good time. You know what? I hadn't considered that. Think about the self-esteem boost that guy who was crucifix pounding the other one got. That kid, future CEO. All this anti-St. Louis media stuff.
Starting point is 03:19:02 They don't talk about all the many daycares here where they're not fight clubs. They never look at the winners and think about what a great time they had. And you know who else had a great time? Teachers. Man, those teachers, they, you know, I don't think they were very good at their job.
Starting point is 03:19:20 This is better than a no-fat. How could you say something both so bold and courageous? I know, I'm a brave brave guy a lot of hot takes but yeah that's that's really oh it is reprehensible dude i would feel so terrible if my kid was involved in that oh yeah you'd be livid at that teacher like yeah you'd want to go after more than just her job you'd be like no you can't this is like illegal like cliff hutchinson would tell you this is not only against the rules, but the law as well. You can't force children to fight, even if you put a Hulk glove on there. It is funny, though.
Starting point is 03:19:52 It's pretty funny. It's crazy. I mean, I would have done well. Those are our best topics. Illegal and funny. Dude. Get both of those combined. All right.
Starting point is 03:20:04 Pick a topic boys scientists processed 109 hours of oral sex to develop an ai that sucks dick or uh the department of i'm sorry the drug enforcement administration is warning people of laced halloween candy i want to hear that and if it's like actually legit because you always hear about this every year but every year like it seems like there's more Halloween candy. I want to hear that and if it's actually legit because you always hear about this every year but every year it seems like there's more stories saying, hey, don't fall for the hype. People aren't putting razor blades
Starting point is 03:20:33 in candy and not dosing your children with LSD. Yeah, it's bullshit. I was listening to the Stern show and Robin was talking about this and Stern was like, is anyone actually doing this? Isn't weed expensive and it's like yeah of course no one is and robin's like don't you remember when we were kids and you didn't have to worry about this and it's like this is exactly what a dumb ignorant and uninformed
Starting point is 03:20:57 person says about crime statistics and child molestation and violence any violence gun violence drunk driving, anything, because all those numbers are record lows, especially when they were kids. There just wasn't this enormous news media propagating this idea, fear-mongering people into getting ratings, and that's all we're talking about now. And it's especially worse because Robin is the fucking news lady. When I was a kid, it wasn't drugs. Or maybe it was a tiny bit.
Starting point is 03:21:30 But it was mostly like razor blade and broken glass and things like that. Razor blade. That's what I always heard. And it was popularized enough that my parents checked all my candy. They'd go to the kitchen table and they'd just look for broken packaging and stuff like that. I don't know, honey. There's nothing in here. We even sent them to the bad part of town.
Starting point is 03:21:48 Dude, we were, yeah. On Halloween, there were no rules on me at a really young age. We were just gone until 10 p.m. All the other trick-or-treaters were gone. All the houses wanted to stop giving out candy. We'd be like, trick-or-treat. And they'd be like, still? It's 10 p. p.m and we're like do you have any some had no candy left but we would we didn't use halloween things we needed to use um uh like king-sized pillowcases to carry do you remember
Starting point is 03:22:18 what you dressed up as as a kid like like when you like your earliest costume do you remember it earliest shucks i don't remember. My brother was... Woody's going as Captain Darkness this year. He's wearing all black. My brother was a vampire a lot, and he did wear all black. But no, I had a bunch of costumes. A lot of times I would choose my costume, and in hindsight, they sucked. Like those completely plastic Spider-Man things with the face masks the elastic band in the back
Starting point is 03:22:46 they break like i couldn't walk very far before i had a big embarrassing like slice in the plastic pants so yeah and then she made some too my mom was actually pretty good for halloween i always wanted to be a vampire as a kid like every year i was a fucking vampire and and uh you know my mom would make me a cool costume. I had this red velvet sash thing. And I had a cape. And I had face paint. And my hair was black and slick black. I had the fangs and everything.
Starting point is 03:23:12 I always wanted to be a vampire. Still do. I like biting sexy ladies. What can I say? It's just... I want that to be a thing. You're selling it. Not a big fan of blood.
Starting point is 03:23:20 Also, you get superpowers. I was a pirate a lot as a kid. A pirate and an Indian. I did those both a lot as a kid. A pirate and an Indian. I did those both a couple times. Ooh, that's cultural appropriation. Can't do that now. Cultural appropriation. Believe it or not, five-year-olds don't care.
Starting point is 03:23:33 They're just like, hey, I want to look like the Indian from the Davy Jones movie I watch five times a day. And it's like, fine, if you'll stop talking for two seconds, Taylor, Christ. I saw another woman lose her job over blackface. And this one I have a harder time supporting. So here's the scoop. She dressed as Beyonce. And again, like as a high level, like a lot of times people on Halloween are dressing up as someone they consider a hero or like whatever.
Starting point is 03:23:58 And if your hero is Beyonce, then that's cool. But the thing is, her husband was Jay-Z. And I recognize that Jay-Z does have big lips, but her husband looked... What's it called? A minstrel show? He painted lips on? I don't know if he painted them on. Dude, there was something enhanced about lips going on there.
Starting point is 03:24:18 And Jay-Z, that... Dude, so I've kind of said, I understand where Megyn Kelly's coming from. If you want to be Diana Ross, and that, your little hero, then knock yourself out. That doesn't seem, like, insulting to me. It should be a thing that we have grown past. But this woman, even though she was okay, her husband, there was some guilt by association there. I've told the story before, but I'll never forget that Halloween party I went to with my girlfriend maybe five years ago i'm gonna say and everybody i was i mean i was dressed as a catholic priest
Starting point is 03:24:49 and i was trying to get my girlfriend to go as an altar boy like like i'm okay with edgy costumes it's funny it's a costume party we're all drinking and stuff and then one of her friends showed up as kim kardashian and her boyfriend came as kanye west with blackface really awful blackface and like as much as we joke about it when you see it in real life it's it's honestly offensive like really like it's honestly i bet it is like like we were not okay with it we were in a you know parties break up in little groups and like whatever like we i was on the back porch with maybe five other individuals, like girls and guys, and we're all drunk and shit. We're partying.
Starting point is 03:25:29 And I'm like, that's kind of fucked up. Do you see? I don't know that guy, but Christy's boyfriend? You see? They're like, yes. The guy with the lips painted on? Yes, we all noticed, and we're all thinking about it. So I'm showing this to the audience now.
Starting point is 03:25:44 This is the one that I did. Can you look at the picture too yeah yeah i'll pull it up tell me if you can see it through the same lenses oh my god that's so racist the woman take a pause take it take a break let's put a study on this could you say that the woman is just dressing up as her hero no no not the girl not the girl either. You know what she looks like? No. She looks like from It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia when Dee dresses up as that Latina woman.
Starting point is 03:26:12 Can I talk to yous? Yeah, when she's out there doing that. You white boys! Yeah. I don't know. Maybe I just can't see it. I see her. She looks pretty, I guess.
Starting point is 03:26:24 I think what the difference is, is that next to him with painted on lips, a guy dressed as Hitler, they'd be like, you know, I don't like it, but look at the guy next to him. Like, that guy's stealing the attention because that's, there's no
Starting point is 03:26:40 I don't like the chain either. Does Jay-Z wear that chain? That's genuine blackface. He's got lips painted on. I don't think there's any room for Jay-Z wear that chain? That's genuine blackface. He's got lips painted on. I don't think there's any room for squabbling. Could that be his face by contrast? Is he a white dude? He's even putting his lips in a purse like that
Starting point is 03:26:54 to try and make kind of a mocking look, you know? Yeah, he I cannot get on the same team with. There's something going on. Her, if she was by herself i'd be like dude she's just trying to be beyonce yeah are you allowed to do other faces like like we know black faces off limits uh-huh can you do red face you can obviously do white face because nobody's gonna get mad on behalf of you know impersonating a white person yeah but like you've got my permission to be me asian face uh indian face like indian face people get upset about
Starting point is 03:27:26 what you mean like uh well people get upset about the cultural dress yeah yeah people don't like i mean but i don't i don't think that like actual like american indians or native americans like care like i think it's kind of the same thing as like the the redskins team where like when you actually ask those people they're like like, I don't really care. Savage Americans. You know what? Jesus Christ. I forgot that we changed our nomenclature a little,
Starting point is 03:27:52 a few episodes ago. I'll change it. I'll make an adjustment to it. I'll make a tradition of it. I honestly thought Kyle was about to tell Taylor to be more sensitive. I thought that's where that was going. Kyle was going to tell me to be more sensitive.
Starting point is 03:28:03 I mean, in hindsight, it seems so dumb, but that's where I thought that's where that was going. Kyle was going to tell me to be more sensitive. I mean, in hindsight, it seems so dumb, but that's where I thought that was headed. I watched Left My Heart and Wounded Knee and laughed and laughed. I don't care. They were cannibals. They were literally cannibalistic, torturing, warring tribes.
Starting point is 03:28:17 Yes, cannibals. It's okay to be a cannibal if you use every part of the human. I think they just ate the heart. That is really wasteful. Oh yeah, I wonder if cannibal tribes have like,
Starting point is 03:28:32 oh no, we do not eat the left foot very much. Or if they're eating every little bit. I would think every little bit. The reason they would have cannibalism in the first place is because they're pretty low on food, right? Unless it was like a spiritual thing, or's like oh we eat the the cap the people we capture in battles i need you to do more than just eat all of me taylor i want you to use
Starting point is 03:28:52 my bones as tools uh yeah you know like do stuff if you're not drinking out of my skull then i'm a little offended that you're being so wasteful what What if they made you into a shitty end table in one of the bad parts of town? That would be the worst. A leather skin around my rib cage. I still look like me. I want my forearm whittled down to be the spoon of a king or something.
Starting point is 03:29:18 You don't want to be some bullshit post-dead bone thing. I really don't care what you do with my bones after I'm gone. Just throw me in the trash! It doesn't matter. But yeah, she's blackface, and I couldn't get on board with this one. Especially because she's next to him. Yeah, this one is definitely racist.
Starting point is 03:29:35 My thing about the whole blackface thing is, like, a lot of people find it to be offensive and racist, so just don't fucking do it. Like, there are a lot of things that's like, whoa, whoa, don't step on my right to express myself in a b a way b way c way this is not one of the ways that i ever want to express myself okay like like so so i am perfectly fine with this just being outlawed it's funny because i am like look i don't desire to do blackface or anything i'm not feeling i'm losing anything but my pro blackface position
Starting point is 03:30:05 is almost to advance equal rights like like can we stop i don't know like treating people walking on eggshells i feel like we're we're doing something to eliminate racism by not pointing racist at everything yeah and as, you will all be allowed to paint yourselves as any race you want, but mainly black. Hey, Taylor, don't you dare have LeBron James as your personal hero. You can't be him. That seems wronger to me than the word wronger. Yeah, I wish that it was less sensitive.
Starting point is 03:30:46 I will agree with that because I wish that, for example, one of our punishments could be that someone has to come in blackface and it not being a whole debacle, right? I feel like if one of us actually did that, then Taylor would lose his job. Or there'd be an uprising of people who
Starting point is 03:31:02 hated us because they thought that we were genuinely being hateful in some way. Nobody would be on our side. Nobody would be on our side. When in reality, I just think it'd be a silly thing to do. And just comical. It wouldn't be racist for us to do it. We would actually make the news.
Starting point is 03:31:20 Maybe. Maybe. Like, it'd be hilarious. Next YouTuber, Woody's Gamertag. Where's my face gamer tag yeah that but yeah that's the thing i i feel like they say black heroes are off limits i guess that's the the thing i hadn't expressed before and that i don't like that i don't really think you have to do the face thing though to like even dress up as i'm like if i dress up as lebron james and i wear lebron or james or whatever on the back they're like oh like, oh, that's
Starting point is 03:31:46 clearly who it is. Whereas, like, if some little black kid wants to dress up as Spider-Man or Peter Parker or whatever, he doesn't paint his face white. He wears a Spider-Man outfit, and you go, ah, I've put the pieces together. Like, I don't really think you need to do the face-painting thing. Yeah, you don't get to
Starting point is 03:32:01 dress as Spider-Man if you're black, though. Well, it is cultural appropriation, but I'll allow a huge spider-man he's one of ours you go be green lantern i thought he was yeah i don't know there's different iterations green lantern is the holder of the green lantern ring uh there's been lots of guys thank you woody thank you okay i didn't answer but there's been black guys and white guys oh no oh we did this one already did we do the gea halloween lace candy is that if we did yeah yeah we talked about that basically it's not a thing because because nobody wants to give away their expensive drugs there's a link here for a kid that tested positive for, uh, for meth. Yeah. That kid has lying parents. That's what that is.
Starting point is 03:32:47 Yeah. Tommy got it from, uh, from, uh, someone's house. We're not sure which one. Uh,
Starting point is 03:32:52 I read the article, the DEA one, and it's not what I thought it was before I like looked into it. What I thought it was going to be was people taking your three musketeers and like, I don't know, injecting pot butter into it and then not letting you, it's like fooling you. These are like knockoff brand pot candy, like Keef Cat, Twixt, Rastateers, Rasta Reese's. So I'm guessing this is something that you can buy at a dispensary, and I don't know who would give it out.
Starting point is 03:33:30 Like, do you guys, have you ever heard, like, how much it costs for, like, a pot Keef cat? I don't know what those are. We saw prices of stuff when we were in Colorado. Yeah, they're not cheap. They're not cheap. Like, for one thing, yeah, I'm going to break it down a little bit. We saw prices of stuff when we were in Colorado. They're not cheap. They're not cheap. For one thing, I'm going to break it down a little bit.
Starting point is 03:33:51 Usually, you're buying a whole container of chocolates. There'll be eight chocolates in there, and it'll be $18 or something like that. Each one is 10 milligrams. I think that's the general average dosage or the required dosage, the maximum, unless you're a medical patient when those guys get that scary shit but uh again like it's just you wouldn't do that because you're gonna get caught and it's in like they're often very easily identifiable like the 10 milligrams and like a pot leaf or something is often like uh is it embossed like like imprinted into it on this one there's a pretty big sticker that says 10X, which I'm assuming means that. Yeah.
Starting point is 03:34:27 This one says 3X. Okay. Sometimes they do this thing where they literally paint the item with some sort of edible writing and it's written on it in white if it's chocolate or green if it's whatever it is. If it's some sort of gummy
Starting point is 03:34:43 candy or something like that. I just don't believe anyone's actually doing that. You'd be in so much trouble for one thing if you're dosing kids we like we talked about it before the show it seems like the downsides are way bigger than the upsides first of all you're drugging children i yeah i don't know what i'm sure there's laws against that right like i'm positive there are yeah yeah i don't know what it is exactly but it seems like drugging children is something there'd be a law against uh you're giving something expensive to someone who doesn't want it and presumably you do that's just a bad thing that people don't do right like like yeah it i can't think of what it is you know if i had
Starting point is 03:35:22 something i really valued and you didn't we'll make it my paramotor, and I gave it to you, why would I do that? I was handing out Gatorade bottles, the green kind, but what I actually did was hand out bottles of really nice absinthe I had to import from Denmark. And it's like, how much did you spend to do this prank? And it's like, thousands, man. It's like, what's the payoff?
Starting point is 03:35:44 Not much, frankly. I gave away a lot of expensive booze, and they're going to man it's like what's the payoff you know not much frankly yeah like i gave away a lot of expensive booze they walk away and i imagine what happens i'm sick in the head what could i say i do think it's probably more likely that this kid ate something that his parents had around than that one because like if this were the case it would be a score of ohio boys that went to this area or region all got dosed you know we're trying to narrow down the house that did it like it just seems like it'd be weird for a person to just give one one candy and they said it was methamphetamine a pot and methamphetamine marijuana laced and methamphetamine laced that's that kid was how
Starting point is 03:36:22 old was the kid five five i was gonna say he's buying it at school and like because like yeah adderall adderall is a methamphet he actually wins it after his fight he's got some trt kit kats as well i don't know that's bizarre i just don't i don't think I certainly don't think it's widespread I'm sure somewhere someone's doing it Just like somewhere someone is having ear sex But it's not widespread And something we need to be worried about It's just a distraction
Starting point is 03:36:55 Yeah, it's not something I've ever been into Dude, you know what's a distraction? These things This is lurking over me as a competition That's going to be sprung on me On an unknown day It could be tomorrow, it could be next week But at some point I'm going to have to Devote myself to raising my pulse
Starting point is 03:37:12 Which is a ridiculous thing to do I'm excited for finally getting it ready Yeah, as soon as I get it fixed And I'll tell you guys At the top of that evening So that we all have the same opportunity The next day to start it. I'm not going to get it fixed at 9 a.m.
Starting point is 03:37:30 and then at 4 go, all right, let's kick it off. I'll tell you as soon as we do so we can get it rolling. Yeah, for sure. Because we'll have a rolling start here, right? I have genuine jitters over this. Really?
Starting point is 03:37:43 Yeah. I think it's going to be fun. It's like a... I don't want to eat that chip,? I think it's going to be fun. It's like a stressful event that's coming up. I have to kill myself for a month. It's not going to be that bad. It's going to be fun. It will be if you do it right.
Starting point is 03:37:59 No matter what, it's going to lose some weight. It's going to get in shape. It's going to feel better. I got 250 meps today Meps is that word The agreed upon pronunciation And I think I need
Starting point is 03:38:10 300 to 400 meps a day To remain competitive Based on what Rogan's crew How long did it take you to get that? Two hours Two and a half hours But it wasn't What I found was that
Starting point is 03:38:22 Most of the meps were earned Actually doing shit. I thought there'd be a bunch of free MEPs involved. Like, yeah, I'm going to work out or whatever, do my activity. I was kiting my paraglider. And then for the next 40 minutes, I need to do just minimal stuff and I'll keep earning. Didn't go like that so much. Really, the MEPs are earned by working hard.
Starting point is 03:38:41 Yeah. Yeah, I'm looking forward to, I bought a, uh, I actually have it here down. I just haven't put it together yet. I bought an exercise bike, like a cheap,
Starting point is 03:38:51 uh, you did a foldable one that like, it was only like 140 bucks or something pretty cheap on Amazon. And then I bought one of those under a desk or under a table, like, uh, elliptical things that you can stand on or you can sit down and do it. Everyone's investing to make this thing.
Starting point is 03:39:07 Well, I mean, I'm trying to like think of anything I can that I can max out on the little time that I have. And so like if I can bang out, you know, a couple meps a day on that under the desk thing, it's worth it. And I only spent like 70 bucks on that, not 350. I spent less than you. I hope mine's good enough. Yeah, I got a $60 one.
Starting point is 03:39:26 Can you stand on yours? No. Mine pedals. It showed up today. I haven't taken it out of the box. But it's like a central heavy station with two pedals that stick out of it. I think I can do it at my desk. I had the aspiration
Starting point is 03:39:44 of, I thought it would be entertaining if I tried to pedal for an entire PKA. You know, I thought that, what if I could keep myself in, like, the bottom range of effort for an entire PKA? I thought that would be kind of interesting. We've got to have a rule that we can't be doing this during PKA or it's going to make for bad shows. Oh, if it starts, like, taking away from, like, the show. If I'm like, all right, I've got to go take a 10-minute break. If it starts taking away from the show, if I'm like, I've got to go take a 10-minute break.
Starting point is 03:40:07 If I see you pedaling, we're literally in a race. I can't be like, I'm not going to pedal. We're all going to be pedaling our stupid machines. It'll be the stupid show. Taylor might be right. I don't know. I think people would like it. We should be able to do it on the show.
Starting point is 03:40:21 All right. Or we could do it. I have an idea. What if I lift a weight? Let's circle back. show all right all right or we could do it what if i left away what if i left away wait let's circle back what if we find a way to display our pulse during the show because i think that would change it all right i don't know exactly how i could do it if i could share my phone or something but i i just feel like if during the show we peddled and showed our pulse the whole time that would be interesting to a viewer perhaps i don't know we'll think about it she just thinks it's a terrible idea
Starting point is 03:40:50 i've got my watch um but i don't know how you get a camera on it yeah wait so you only have to wear the watch now or do you still have to wear that thing on your chest i have to wear the thing on my chest but but my readout will be here, so I can keep track of it more readily than opening my phone up and dealing with the phone. Yeah. Well, I'm hoping that bike comes in handy and it isn't a piece of shit.
Starting point is 03:41:15 You could have gotten Wing's bike. Wing said that all that's wrong with it is the chain's off, the one that's been sitting behind him for years. Well, that could take a few years to repair, Kyle. Give him some slack. I didn't get a real bike i got an exercise bike to like set up yeah like he doesn't have a real bike either he's got like one of those like recumbent bikes or whatever you call them i don't know one of those resistance yeah i yeah i have a bunch of i don't actually i want to talk about it but i want to share all my strategies so maybe a
Starting point is 03:41:43 few weeks in i'll tell you what i was i might learn i was thinking about that for a bit and then i was like i'm not keeping anything secret that all three of them haven't thought of like yeah i would think i think i think like the idea of like like cheese points is just silly because because it's just not going to add up to to any and i think it might be bad for you as well like if you tried to to drink so much caffeine, for example, that your heart rate was just elevated all day, that's scary. I wouldn't do that to my body. That's short term.
Starting point is 03:42:12 I literally wouldn't do that to my body. I think the only way to do this thing is to put effort in, to genuinely try and whether it's cardio. Even if you're doing jumping jacks, we're all getting kind of silly with it with the machines and stuff i realize that it's for me it's not that i think that buying the rowing machine is the only way to win this thing i got the rowing machine because
Starting point is 03:42:32 the investment is what motivates me just like i used to talk about with supplements i don't really believe that i think creatine is just such a tiny advantage with when you're trying to like build muscle i think protein powder same thing thing. Pre-workout, same thing. But if I spend $150 on those things, then that's a motivation for me. It's like, hey, come on, don't quit. You mentally said you're going to do six sets of this. You're at three and you're tired, but you need to get to six. You got $40 for the shit like courting through your veins right now. You're literally invested in this. Yes, I'm literally investing in this. It's a motivator for me to spend the money on these things.
Starting point is 03:43:10 And also, you know, talking shit to you guys. That's a motivator too. I'm not as confident as I say I am. This is scary. This is ridiculous. No, no, you're... Well, you know, not... Everything you say on a comedy show is taken...
Starting point is 03:43:21 You can't back out now. Literally. No, I... Kyle seems to really hate the Indians. He keeps talking about a new genocide. Come on. No, I've just been honest. That's what I do on the show most of the time.
Starting point is 03:43:34 I... I am not confident, but I'm trying hard. And that's the way I've entered athletics my entire life. And I want some stuff like it just because i'm sitting here like you know man i'm when i'm nervous about this doesn't mean that my 100 might not carry me through this like i i think we're all gonna
Starting point is 03:43:57 do better than we're we're thinking i want to yeah i just don't think i'm gonna be able to do well enough to get any better than third the The Rogan show is out there to compare ourselves to. They're going to come in at like 11,000 through 9,000. If our rankings come in like 3,000 through 1,500, I'm going to be like, oh, we suck. I don't want that to happen. Oh, that won't happen. You know Joe Rogan's body was literally breaking down at the end, and he was pissing like brown. Are you serious?
Starting point is 03:44:24 He said it looked like iced tea. What does that mean? Like he's so dehydrated? He said his muscles were breaking down. Yeah. They weren't getting any chance to repair themselves. He was going so hard, like exhausting himself every day for so long that his muscle tissue was breaking down, and he's pissing it out.
Starting point is 03:44:41 Which has an interesting effect on you. Jesus. Oh, do we know the scores? The final scores? Are they done? Are they posted? Because it was closer second through third than you'd guess. Yeah.
Starting point is 03:44:53 And I don't know that Joe was out of striking distance of a guy that can run 15 miles in a day. I think he was. I think that Joe would just murder them. If Joe's peeing sweet tea and he has to lay down, meanwhile, this guy can bust out a marathon? Joe's final score is here, Chiz says.
Starting point is 03:45:14 11,253 meps. That is a number. Holy shit. I can't argue with that. 11,253, you that. 11,253 you said? 11,253. That's 375 MEPs a day.
Starting point is 03:45:32 I got 247 MEPs today. Tom Segura got 9,533. Burt Kreischer, 9,038. Somehow I may have skipped over second place I got 246 maps today Yeah I don't see Ari's score So if I did what I did I just need to go a little harder than today Daily
Starting point is 03:45:56 Even 250 a day like what you got today As a rolling average would be really good At least in my mind I don't think it wins Oh Ari got 10,000 and 16. Just hypothetically, what is 246 times 30?
Starting point is 03:46:12 That would get me 7380, so that won't do it. Yeah, we're not competing against Joe Rogan. Yeah, well, I don't know. See, that's why I worked out today. I want to learn what 246 MEPS feels like. Were you doing a lot of weights or all
Starting point is 03:46:29 cardio? What was kind of the mix? You know what's hard to say, Taylor? I don't know. This morning was so long ago. Actually, a lot of it was running up and down a hill. I said I was kiting my paraglider, but what I really was doing was flying down a hill that's like i said i was kiting my paraglider but what i really was doing was flying down a hill so i just carry that shit up the hill fly down
Starting point is 03:46:51 and repeat um there's also some waiting involved because i'd wait for a gust so that's did you get more from paramotoring than you thought you would it wasn't i guess of course because you were kind of doing it in up and down yeah so paramotoring i haven't tested yet that would be just running from the ground and sitting in a chair for an hour this was kiting so it it's when you stand on the ground and operate the controls and it's more work just put on a just just get up in the air put on a blindfold yeah i don't know if i'm at 10,000 feet or 10 feet. I hear traffic, though. Yeah. Yeah, no, I don't think paramotoring might keep me in the minimum range,
Starting point is 03:47:33 you know, but it's not going to be a score or anything. It's not an easy way to get. There's no easy way to get meps. I thought maybe there was. I tested, like, doing dishes and shit. Not getting any meps out of that. I'll tell you what. I had tested doing dishes and shit. Not getting any meps out of that. I'll tell you what. I was so angry.
Starting point is 03:47:49 I was so angry trying to set my machine up today. I was earning a mep a minute. My heart rate was like 102 when I was trying to make the thing work. I was furious. We're talking about what machine? The MZ3. I plugged this thing in and charged it for like, curious trying to get i'll tell you we're talking about what machine the the the mz3 like i i plug this thing in and charged it for like first of all don't believe that battery bullshit all right so this is i'm glad i thought of this because the battery will last whatever they say months if you
Starting point is 03:48:16 disconnect it after every use from the belt if you've got it plugged into the belt it seems like it's drawing current because i charged mine overnight when i first got it then i put it in the belt and i made sure that the belt was going to work then i sat the belt on my desk well today i went to put it on to to sync up my my mz60 watch and and it's not working and i'm getting pissed the fuck off trying i'm typing back and forth the chis like taylor of course is having his own issues he's typing in these people are this is bullshit these things suck and i'm just and i'm about to be like yeah fuck them let's find a competitor but like then i was like maybe it died on me somehow so i came in here and plugged it up and charged it for two hours and it worked it fucking worked after that everything linked up
Starting point is 03:49:01 so so like charge the thing every night i guess just to be careful because you don't want to lose a workout um i think during your workout it might tell you the battery percentage yeah i saw that too yeah it does but i don't believe that i don't know okay i don't like bluetooth devices that where where both ends don't have digital displays like like i i i don't like that at all it can be so frustrating um the old gopro cameras were infuriating so infuriating like you know you're about to like my case i'm about to like blow something up that costs twelve hundred dollars and of course it's gonna get blown up when it's over and either i go back to atlanta and buy eight more mannequins
Starting point is 03:49:43 and a bunch more costumes or this fucking camera is on. And it's just like, I can't trust it. I can't trust it. I'm just going to go buy a $1,500 fucking like handy cam and use it for this because I cannot trust a goddamn GoPro because I never know if they're running. In my world, we use these intercoms to talk to each other. And oh my gosh, you're trying to sync up two Bluetooth devices. There's no phone. Using like blinking lights,
Starting point is 03:50:08 like a red one, a blue one, and then they blink together and they turn purple. And I'm supposed to interpret like blinking purple error messages and shit. It's, ah, Bluetooth can be so infuriating. Or with these things, like sometimes you've got to count audible beeps. And it's like,
Starting point is 03:50:24 it's like three beeps means it's off. Four means danger mode yeah and it's like they go it's like three beeps means it's off four means danger mode it's like and i'm like it's the dirty lucky punk means it's overheating be sure to put it in a in a dry area outside away from burnable opt what was that three four five like jesus christ is it about to explode on me or is it not working or is it broken or is it sink now and i'm ready to exercise no clue dude that's really funny i noticed that too with the beeping thing like i didn't get how it worked so like when i put it on the first time i was just like all right it says it'll beep and i started walking around and it didn't do it i had to like lick my
Starting point is 03:51:09 thumb and like put yeah spit on the back of it and then like three minutes after that it turned on i had the same experience and you know when i go downstairs in the morning my dog is crazy excited i know i've goofed about this but i like, I bet his pulse is like 130 right now. But it doesn't work on me without licking it or sweating. So there's no way it's going to work on a furry dog. Yeah, I had the same thought as well. And of course, my... Oh, if fur impedes it, I'm at another disadvantage.
Starting point is 03:51:40 Oh, that'd be so funny if you had to shave like part of it. Just to get a ring. I have to make a square here of just no hair. That's hilarious. Oh, please post it on Instagram if you have to do that. I'll make it, like, way too big. Like, right up to the nip area. Be right next to your egg breakfast.
Starting point is 03:52:00 When I was, like, 16 or 17 or something, I was like, man, this chest is getting a little too hairy for my liking. And, like, all the nipple hair, I was like, man, this chest is getting a little too hairy for my liking. And like all the nipple hair, I was like, I'm going to shave around the nipple hair. And then like I did that and like looked at myself. I was like, all right, well, you've made an error. Now you've got two nipples that live on Hair Island. And it was just like two bright white nips. Just like right in a and oh that was thank god it wasn't like swimsuit season here's my tip if you're not happy with your chest hair maybe you're younger and you're still figuring this out you don't shave your chest
Starting point is 03:52:37 because then you get a stubble thing that i feel like is like you're really advertising that you shaved a few days ago but you can take a beard trimmer to it, just shorten all those hairs, and it backs it off a notch. That'll work. Yeah. I don't have enough that that would even be an issue. It's just right down the middle,
Starting point is 03:52:56 and I get hair on my nipples, which I don't care for because I don't have the full chest thing Taylor has. I shave my nipples. Okay. And can I play this out there? If you're a lady, and you have hairy nipples, Okay. Can I play this out there? If you're a lady and you have hairy nipples, I want to embarrass you.
Starting point is 03:53:11 Shave those. Pluck them, maybe. How hairy is a woman's nipple? Hairy enough that, you know... Is it like a mole where there's three long ones coming out of nowhere? No, around the nipple. Not growing straight out of the nipple nipple, but, you know, the areola.
Starting point is 03:53:27 It's got hair around it. So I don't know any women with hairy nipples, but I heard about it in high school, so I know it's a thing. Because high school kids wouldn't lie about girls' parts. Definitely not. So, yeah. And they were like, yeah, I ever have that hair around? I'm like, no, I don't really know about this. I've never been with anyone who did that.
Starting point is 03:53:41 They were like, yeah, ever have that hair around? I'm like, no, I don't really know about this. I've never been with anyone who did that. So it's almost, I guess it makes sense to be like a guy entering puberty kind of thing, like early puberty, little circle of more than peach fuzz. Yeah, shave that. Yeah, you want to shave. What's the hairiest nipple on a lady you ever encountered? I've only seen, I only know of one.
Starting point is 03:54:02 I've only seen it once. Can I ask a question? Did she have a really high sex drive? Because she's got a lot of testosterone in her was she was she awesome in bed i i mean yes i'm hearing yes this makes perfect sense i knew it all along you dated her don't you judge me it always comes back to this for you. What's wrong with you? Science-minded. I'm science-minded, Kyle. I'm telling you, if a woman has a lot of testosterone in her system, she's got to be DTF.
Starting point is 03:54:33 And she's got that big clit that we all love. Jimmy Kimmel said the same thing. I'm not alone in this line of thinking. Great minds. You and Jimmy Kimmel on that island but what uh what happened kyle like how hairy was it like what was the the what happened when you removed the bra and you kind of oh well like what was your response i had no of course no i ignored it you know i i i acted like there wasn't an issue at all did you bite him one with your
Starting point is 03:55:02 teeth like a teasing way well i didn't bite the hair but but you know i was sucking on the nipple and licking it stuff and i was like oh there's there's some hair here i don't care for this um you know it's not gonna impede me it's not gonna it's not gonna gonna stop me but um i wish it weren't there have you ever had a showstopper with a girl like i know you don't care for really big labias but i don't think you would be like you know what now that i've seen it i'm headed to the door yeah no i've never had a showstopper um no no definitely no my cousin has scott uh said that he was on the couch with a girl and um i think he got his hands down her pants or maybe her pants were off and her and her pussy smelled terrible and and and uh and and he just got up and started getting
Starting point is 03:55:51 dressed and she's like what's the problem and he just he was like you know what the problem is you know what the problem is like i don't want to catch whatever you have taylor have you ever heard it like not heard of it have you ever heard of it? Not heard of it. Have you ever experienced that? Sneaky. Something like that, where you just end it right there? Well, just a girl who has some sort of thing going on, some sort of hygiene problem. Nothing like Kyle saying, to clear out a room or something. No, I've never had...
Starting point is 03:56:20 I guess I've been lucky with that. It's so overplayed. Most women do a good job taking care of their vaginas so it doesn't smell. Most women have good hygiene in general. Most women have pretty good hygiene for the most part. I've never had a showstopper. I should have made something up. Damn it.
Starting point is 03:56:38 Maybe the next week I'll fuck someone gross and come back. Who knows? The sky's the limit. That's funny. Man, this fitness thing. We'll see. We'll see.
Starting point is 03:56:55 I know what 247 feels like. I'm half tempted tomorrow to bust out like a 350. Is that what I need to maintain? It's 350 times 30. No, 300 would get you to 9,000 over over the month 350 would get me to 10 5 yeah but if joe rogan's peeing out muscle mass getting to 11 2 i think us getting to 10 5 might not be i think achievable rogan did these super intense shorter workouts and i don't know that that's the strategy was he doing like he does like uh running a lot too what is he used a rowing machine he did elliptical he did uh bike he ran uh he ran
Starting point is 03:57:35 hills um he did everything he would kick the back he described what his workouts and it was something like there was definitely kicking the bag for 45 minutes i remember that um and uh and like rowing for an hour or two or maybe the maybe the elliptical for an hour or two like stuff like that like really like mixing it up he said he gets like you know stir crazier like it becomes monotonous this is in all caps break yourself do it waste your bones and muscles away. All caps bold. This is war. I know the strategy. He did everything. I'm excited for day four. When Chiz was earlier saying,
Starting point is 03:58:12 he's like the rowing machine works nine muscle groups, nothing better. And I'm like, do you know how fucking sore all nine of those muscles? Taylor? I've thought about this. I'm considering that you might be wrong. Maybe.
Starting point is 03:58:26 Let me exaggerate the other side of the argument to make it clear. If you tried to win this entire competition with just your quads, you'd kill them, right? And it's a pulse measuring thing. It's a whole body exercise. On the other hand, you could casually work every muscle in the body and get a little further maybe maybe yeah i just like chis is saying like oh i won't care i'll just push through it it's like well like that's the difference between running like running you can more easily take a break and go back to it or biking or uh elliptical whereas with like that like you will hit muscle
Starting point is 03:59:02 exhaustion yeah i think chis i don't i don't know chis's athletic career but i'm assuming it's not elite and he's like i know the strategy he did everything you act like i give a fuck there's literally nothing better for working out your entire body than rowing for cardio and strength and i'm like man like this mind over matter thing doesn't last a month. You don't just push yourself through a month worth of rowing. You can't do that. It lasts for a minute and a half. That's how long you do that. As long as everybody gets fitter.
Starting point is 03:59:42 That's what's going to happen. Junior varsity in high school. As long as everybody gets fitter. That's what's going to happen. Junior varsity in high school. Well, Case closed! Thank you.
Starting point is 03:59:52 I was searching for the words. I'll back down then. I played a lot of sports. In that case, I was unaware of your sports acumen. Frankly, I want out. I was misled. I had no idea that you were a junior varsity athlete.
Starting point is 04:00:13 At the high school level. You, sir. This is the equivalent of Taylor telling me that now he's got an African runner living in his home inexplicably. Oh, and by the way, I got 800 meps today. It's coming off a little fishy to me that you didn't
Starting point is 04:00:28 reveal this sports acumen that you had prior to right at this moment. This is not fair. We have no idea. Yeah. We can't compete. I didn't play JV soccer in high school.
Starting point is 04:00:44 This is never at my peak was I junior varsity. I've't play JV soccer in high school. This is never at my peak was I junior varsity. I've never been JV at all. I mean, that was only a decade ago. That muscle memory is fresh. Muscle memory is fresh. And I bet you're living the same style of life
Starting point is 04:00:59 that you did back then. Yeah. I feel misled. I feel lied to. Yeah. I feel misled. I feel lied to. Yeah. You know, I feel deceived. You should have to pay twice as much money if you win Chiz. I think that we have to handicap ourselves
Starting point is 04:01:17 to keep up with Chiz at this point. I think that every... I think today should count. Every 100 maps we earn, we get like five freebies or something like that just to me just to i need a five percent advantage just to be able to keep up it that will be so so sad laughing my ass off you should really you should feel really awful if any of you lose to me kyle has adderall careful he's gonna cheat um that's absurd first of all i don't have adderall
Starting point is 04:01:43 i'm all out my prescriptions out i don't have any no adderall don't have any absurd first of all i don't have adderall i'm all out my prescriptions out i don't have any no adderall don't have any and second of all the very idea of like using meth or amphetamines to artificially raise my heart rate for a month dude you would feel so terrible you do one row and you'd be beaten out of your chest i could literally like die from doing that. Oh, hell yeah. Look, if there were $100,000 on the line or a million
Starting point is 04:02:12 dollars on the line on this competition or something like that, then maybe in that case you're like, yeah, I have to find a way to keep my heart rate at 100 beats per minute while I sleep just so I can keep up. But no. We're going to have to eat a spicy chip or something like that. It's not that big of a deal.
Starting point is 04:02:28 Yeah, that chip's going to suck. Dude. I don't know. I'm kind of looking for... I'm anxious. I have a lot of anxiety about this upcoming competition. Which, if nothing else, says that I'm in it.
Starting point is 04:02:44 If nothing else, I'm going to lose some weight and look better naked than I did at the beginning of the month. So I'm pretty fine with that. What you're not going to see from me is these boys all getting like 10,000 meps at the end of the month. And I fucked off and got 900. Yeah. All of us are going to try. I guarantee that. Yeah, man.
Starting point is 04:03:00 It's going to be great. I'm hoping some of you don't. I was really hoping at least one of you was like, you know what? Ten days in, I changed my mind mind i don't care about this competition i'm gonna do i'm gonna tweet tons of pictures of myself eating pizza and like candy or cake shakes and i'm gonna tweet them at you all month chiz now they'll all be like photos that are set up i'm not actually eating this you can eat it ohgan oh yeah i can eat it yeah rogan i'm not gonna gain weight i feel that's the that would be the biggest losing thing imaginable in my mind is gaining weight on this like that's even worse than having to eat a hot chip uh yeah that is worse than eating a hot chip i would eat a hot
Starting point is 04:03:41 chip if you told me it caught it burned three pounds if a hot chip burned three pounds i'd eat one daily for the next like five days and be so happy well and then you would go you then you just be a food fiend and be like i do whatever i want i got plenty of hot chips you know what would be great he died yeah like as much as we we fuck around about him if wings were part of this competition, it'd be wonderful, right? That'd be hilarious. He'd be our Bert. He'd be the one trying to find some way to stay at one
Starting point is 04:04:13 mep a minute for an extended period of time some way and cheese it out. He said he walked 6,000 steps a day and that was his cardio. There's no way. You don't think so? 6,000 steps a day and that was his cardio. There's no way. You don't think so? 6,000 isn't really that much.
Starting point is 04:04:30 That's a couple miles. There's no way he's doing that. I walked 8,000 steps a day and I napped all afternoon. Yeah, you had a very active day. Until like 1 p.m. Dude, I napped in the afternoon. For like basic bitch 59-year-old moms, they're like, here's your Fitbit. The goal is 10,000 a day. That's just the default set one.
Starting point is 04:04:50 He's got a Fitbit. I challenge him. Call him out on it. Fucking post your Fitbit every day for a week. Show me 6,000 steps a day, and I'll fucking do something. Eat an even hotter chip. Oh, you eat a hotter chip. do something.
Starting point is 04:05:03 Eat an even hotter chip. Everything that's at stake for PKF now has to be chip related. It's all spicy chips. There's no way. I don't believe it. There's no way. My step count is kind of embarrassing. Oh, but it's a little... I average 7,189
Starting point is 04:05:21 a day. You probably can't read that. But that sucks. Yeah, a lot of steps. You guys want to call it a wrap? I should be better. Yeah, we reached the stop. Yeah, we reached it a while ago. I was just enjoying the show. Yeah, man, we had fun here tonight.
Starting point is 04:05:36 I really enjoyed Hector as a guest. Had a good time. I'm excited about this competition. It's going to be very fun competing with you all. It'll be a lively, wonderful competition. And no matter who loses, even the loser is going to be fitter, better cardio, better looking. It's good. It's great.
Starting point is 04:05:53 Excited about it. Unless the loser's a quitter. If someone's a quitter, that needs to be remembered. And it better not be me. Well, when you need energy on the go and you don't have time to wait in line, grab Espresso Monster. Espresso Monster is a premium blend of espresso and cream
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Starting point is 04:06:47 Games play best on Xbox One. Is that both? That's it. Painkiller R80 4.11. The pre-My Zone episode.

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