Painkiller Already - Painkiller Already #415

Episode Date: December 7, 2018

On this week's PKA, we're flying guestless as the guys discuss the phenomena of "Sentinel Island" off the coast of India, then the boys break down the hottest women to every be in every Star Trek seri...es and then the fellas bring up President Trump hiring dyson.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Pangular already, episode 415, almost mispronounced already. Kyle? Jesus, that's a lot of episodes. Few sponsors tonight. Movement Watches, Dollar Shave Club, Squarespace, Smart Mouth, and YouTube Music. We'll talk about those people, places, and things later on in the show. But yeah, we were just discussing what we want to lead off with. What's topical right now? Kyle came in hot with women getting hit by cars kyle came in hot with women getting hit by cars i came in hot with women getting hit by cars you know i've spent all day
Starting point is 00:00:28 just watching women get hit by cars i love it it's my favorite new thing um i was about to say what he said before this show and i'm just not i was just gonna own it myself but i i just won't yeah you're right you't say that. That's a risky statement a minute in. Exactly. Exactly. If we're three hours and 50 minutes in, lay that out there for the world to digest. But we're 30 seconds in. So, yeah, I got a couple videos of young ladies being struck by veal.
Starting point is 00:01:03 Red car thumbnail or the other one? I like the red car one because there's a little buildup. And when I watched it for the first time, I was like, all right, it looks like we're about to throw down here. All right, okay. Whoa! And I just started cracking up.
Starting point is 00:01:17 Worldstar Hip Hop, it's going to be... Does Worldstar Hip Hop have anything to do with music? That's a good question. I always saw Worldstar Hip Hop and it's like i've never seen a clip there of someone rapping well it's like live leak live leaks known for their torture videos and like russian tanks it's not called live leak r&b you know what you expect like i was expecting some cool relaxing music here it's a lot of people getting beheaded in afghanistan well a lot of times you'll have somebody kind of break out with a freestyle and do a little dance
Starting point is 00:01:48 and then they'll get hit by a car I think that's the tie-in okay I hope okay if she doesn't freestyle now beforehand I'm gonna be a little disappointed I'm ready oh man okay I'm ready. Are we ready? Yeah ready set play Bitch has a taser a stun gun. Oh, yeah, she's getting brave with the strut son. Oh I did not Thought that red truck was gonna do exactly I thought the red car for sure was just a Cavalier from behind oh Yeah Wow that car is damaged Well, I mean it was like five people Dollars lost. Oh now the hood of the Pontiac Sunfire
Starting point is 00:02:37 Now it's a 92 Sunfire hood It will be I like how everybody's like cops cops are on the way. Clear the fuck out. It's like that part in Fast and the Furious when they know the jig is up and everybody just feeds away before the cops got there. I got warrants. Let's clear the fuck out. It didn't seem to hurt any of them, really.
Starting point is 00:02:57 They kind of rolled onto the hood and then realizing the... The final nail got hit in where it was like, oh, we are in the middle of a road. Like, and they realized they had to get out of there. This was likely to repeat. I don't think that was a like uninvolved bystander hitting
Starting point is 00:03:14 them. That's what I thought Taylor just implied that, you know, they were standing in the road and got hit. This guy wanted to hit them. He was trying or this guy. I couldn't tell who was in there. Oh, it was a woman driver. 90 90 of the time when a car hits a pedestrian when there's like some some argument going on it's a woman doing the driving now obviously well then maybe it is an accident oh it was a black woman though
Starting point is 00:03:37 not an asian woman that's how you know there was violent intent dude do you guys do this and i swear to god my guesses go all over the range, but when you see someone driving in a way that you don't approve of, they might be too slow, they might be tailgating you, they might be changing lanes without a signal. Do you get, do you profile them like an unqualified CIA agent?
Starting point is 00:03:58 And that's where I know that my confirmation bias comes in more than anywhere else in the world, is when I'm on the road and there's road rage. Like i pull up and it's like an old ass white or black guy i'm like ah shitty driver if it's any race of woman or asian i'm like fucking figures of course that's what the problem i play the game right like i'll be in my head like i bet it's a young redhead they suck at driving just grab that because no one gets in trouble for saying that and then uh i'll get them and be like well yeah could have been one of them too you know that was like that was my second guess
Starting point is 00:04:33 all along and uh yeah i i don't think it's confirmation bias i think it's a fucking fact i think that that men on average are just better drivers despite the fact we get into more car crashes. Have you ever seen that stat where like women will link and they'll be like, actually men get in 28% more accidents and it's like but did you read the next paragraph that says men drive 80% more? That's right. It's like well I didn't read that far thank you. In my head it's like-
Starting point is 00:05:03 That would be like a woman being like, you know, women are much better soldiers. Look at the deaths in World War II on the front lines. It's all men. It's all men. None of the women were killed. None of those Russian propaganda snipers that people today just believe. Like Stalin was like, we will tell them to try and scare them. Same way British say that eating carrot make vision good. So Germans not invest in that.
Starting point is 00:05:28 We will say, you know, women sniper killed 300. Nikisha, she killed 300. And now today people are like, this strong woman, this strong Soviet killed 300 fascists. It's like this is all made up. I never even considered that might be true you cannot believe anything from the Russians like any statistic like I watched this whole thing
Starting point is 00:05:52 and it's old news by now on the car thing I just want to say I always did this in my head like men get into more accidents sure but if you drove as fast as us you get into even more accidents so take that that's what always happened in my head like yeah so did you happen to see the did you ever see the joe rogan
Starting point is 00:06:11 that had uh the brian fogel guy on there who did the icarus documentary for netflix essentially he breaks down and exposes the russian doping program okay so the russians when they had the olympics in sochi i think whenever they had the Olympics in Sochi, I think, whenever they had their Olympics, the Winter Olympics, like two or four years ago, whatever the fuck it was. I don't watch the Winter Olympics. It was a state-sponsored, organized doping thing. First of all, the Russians swept those games, right?
Starting point is 00:06:38 They got more golds than anybody. They got more medals than anybody, I think. And the way they did it was diabolical. All right. They stopped even fucking trying to go like high science with this shit. They were just like, let's put a hole in the wall of the laboratory and we'll just pass the clean urine in and take the dirty urine out and swap them out when nobody's looking. Yeah, just coming at 2 a.m. Nobody's in there. It's our lab. Dimitri's got the fucking keys. Hey, it almost worked.
Starting point is 00:07:07 We don't need the keys. Sergey's the one doing the test. Cool. They just swapped all of their, they ran every single athlete hot as fuck. They juiced them to the gills all the way through. They're juicing at the games probably. They're in their fucking room
Starting point is 00:07:23 putting fucking Diana ball up their ass or something. But they're in their fucking like room putting fucking diana ball up their ass or something but they're they're passing the he went through the whole program at first the guy who like invented the test that that was able to recognize like the metabolites um created um when someone had been on um steroids it allowed them to test people who had been off steroids for six months, which was a big step up instead of like weeks. It went from four to six weeks to like six months that you could catch them pissing hot. And it sort of takes a lot of the pep and the advantage out of roids. He invents this test. Well, he goes ahead and makes an antidote for it at the same time. So the Russians all pass the test, you you know and now they're like cracking open this old urine and they're finding that that it all has
Starting point is 00:08:08 like a higher um weight uh what is a gravity is what is how they refer to it because they've added salt to it they've added salt to it to make it like right or something like that to make it to make it the right weight because it's uh A similar thing the Russians would do is like... I don't know my performance enhancing drugs that well, but let's call it, you know, Diana 2. They would use Diana 2 for years and then they would invent the test to direct Diana 2 and move on to Diana 3, right?
Starting point is 00:08:39 Invented drug, I know. Well, then they would tell the doping agencies how to detect Diana 2. So all the other countries that are a step behind are now guilty, but we're on 3, so we're fine. Very smart and devious. The urine that they use is, they only
Starting point is 00:08:56 use the urine containers. I believe the containers are made in Switzerland or something like that, and they're very special. You're probably thinking, it's a little plastic cup, what's the big deal? it's got a little locking lid is it child proof it's human proof it looks absurd on the top like the part that screws down has like a whole mechanism built in and it's all clear so you can see like the inner workings of it it takes a special device to open the bottle once the bottle has been closed and only the swiss have the device or
Starting point is 00:09:25 whatever you know like people who are going to test it the russians because they never do that great in the olympics like there's no incentive for the swiss to cheat a lot exactly people live in switzerland eight dozens it's gunner and his family and his gang and they invented the bottle so you don't have to worry about it the The Russians invented a machine to crack the bottles. They're like, oh yeah, we'll just make a new machine, the crack bottle, no, no. So they're going to all these bee samples that are years old and they're all like, holy shit, they all have the same scratch right here where the Russians applied their fucking invented machine to crack them open and replaced the fucking piss.
Starting point is 00:10:02 It's absurd. It's hilarious. And it's on Netflix, this whole documentary. But I watched the Rogan experience where this Brian Fogle guy, I think his name is, was the guest. And he explained that the guy in charge of the Russian doping program ended up getting exposed. Not really exposed, but he came forward and admitted it all. And he's got death threats against him. And now he's in hiding.
Starting point is 00:10:24 He had to escape the fucking country. It's a whole ridiculous thing. I don't like that. The Russians and their poison? It's such an effective assassination technique. And people who don't die still get messed up. There's one guy, I can't even describe his skin, but imagine someone who had the worst acne pock marks
Starting point is 00:10:46 you've ever seen that times five and now that's what he has to deal with what did you say yeah in the marvel universe some powers would have come along with what they did to him yeah he's absurd deadpool looking they did this thing they did this thing they did this thing this guy one time like a show a picture they had they had like a a kgb agent go up to this guy one time they were going to get rid of and he had this special umbrella and he poked the guy in the leg with the umbrella and what happened was it injected a a tiny ball that was hollowed out that was full of polonium i think which is radioactive element and the guy died like within a week or something from
Starting point is 00:11:26 horrific radiation poisoning because the guy didn't he was just like ow you hit me with your umbrella and he's like sorry comrade and they just like went their own fucking separate ways and a week later he's dead dude there there is a little piece of me that lies to himself thinking that maybe just maybe i'm so badass that i could take on an armed assassin right i've got my little observatory on the top of the house and wide open grass from every direction i will sit there and minigun them like it's the last scene in left for dead that's my plan but like you can't like not bump into somebody in public ever. You can't have your food tested at every restaurant. Like you can't even really check your food supply.
Starting point is 00:12:12 Like, I don't know this. If they want to get you, they'll get you. Yes. If they want to get you, they'll get you. And that's true of just about anybody except for like the president,
Starting point is 00:12:22 right? With the system around him to protect his food and all that fun stuff. But any regular person can't be, he can't avoid this. Yeah, absolutely. Just like the Kim Jong-un's brother-in-law that they got with the VX in that airport. He's fucking walking through an international airport and some bitch comes up behind him and puts like a fucking wet wipe on his face, and he's dead like an hour later. That's ridiculous.
Starting point is 00:12:48 I didn't know poisons were – all the poisons in my world are not that poisonous. Like we have – They're all from movies. Well, no, like laundry detergent, right? Like, yeah, if you eat that, you'll die. But you can rub it on your hands and you're okay. Yeah, but the difference is... I want you to accost him in International Airport
Starting point is 00:13:07 and then force him to drink whole thing of Cro-Rocks. Yeah. My whole family in Gulag. You must finish Cro-Rocks. They watching now. In my head, because I have no experience with poison, I think that bleach is poison. That's the worst poison there is.
Starting point is 00:13:24 Yeah, like I'm going to put bleach on. Not only does it get stains out, but it's the most lethal thing known to man. Intellectually, I know that's not the case. Yeah, the first time I saw like the bleach thing, like I thought the same thing, Woody. But when I saw like, you know, some story of like teen girl bullied, drinks bleach to kill herself, but survives. I was like, really? I didn't know that was an option with bleach i didn't know that you could be like halfway through like a glass of it and be like i'm not so
Starting point is 00:13:51 sold on this anymore and then just let nature take its course it's been too long for me to remember the details but we covered this in health class they're like if you take this kind of poison you need to throw up if you take this kind of poison, do not throw up. No, no, no. It will do more damage on the way back. You need to drink milk and dilute it. And that would be handy to know maybe, but I've forgotten the details. Yeah, yeah. The trick is not to drink poison.
Starting point is 00:14:16 There's nothing worse than getting poisoned and immediately having to like go Google search and be like, oh, what do I do? I don't trust this answer. He's not very liked on Yahoo Answers. I wish I had gotten it in my eyes. What do you think the response time is on one of those poison control hotlines? Do you think you're like,
Starting point is 00:14:35 your call is very important to it. Many of your fellow Americans have been poisoned. If you drank bleach, just muscle it down, pussy. We're here for real poisons. Yeah, there are some legitimate poisons. What's the one that they make from,
Starting point is 00:14:57 I was about to say how you make the fucking deadly poison, ricin? Yeah, the Breaking Bad one. You do a little Googling, you'll know exactly how to make ricin, but don't do it. Are the ingredients really hard to find? yeah the breaking bad one you know you do a little googling you'll know exactly how to make ricin but don't do it um i saw the ingredients really hard to find that's it made it no there's one ingredient and you get at the grocery store oh jesus really yeah i mean don't believe it kyle you wouldn't be giving anything away remember in breaking bad when he goes and gets beans and like explains how to oh there we go that's how you make it breaking bad he's like doing the explanation to jesse and jesse's like
Starting point is 00:15:28 bitch you're telling me beans can kill people he's like yes jesse this is exhausting and only nine episodes yeah i saw where this i want to say he was a white supremacist because i had this idea in my head that he was an evil guy but like this this white supremacist was it Upon like a ton of charges like like it was like it was a bunch of shit But I want to say that maybe he even had a plot to use ricin against like some government employees well they get to court and as long as like um your honor My client did indeed have a large quantity of ricin in his trailer. I guarantee it was a trailer. But the problem is not listed on the
Starting point is 00:16:10 unlawful substances. There's no law against having ricin. And they're like, wait a god, what? Like shut up. Perfect. He just air butted us. That's what should be called the air butt defense. It should be the air butt defense.
Starting point is 00:16:29 He's like, well, you're free to go, sir. And he's like, I'll be taking my ricin with me. He didn't do that. But I just imagined that happening. They couldn't stop him. How could they stop him from taking his ricin back? Your Honor, I would like that ricin back. Well, I have some stuff to do this afternoon and i'm gonna be needing it i can't not give you your ricin so would you carefully
Starting point is 00:16:52 hand the defendant his right what is what's like the plausible deniability for ricin is there is no it's for pesticides or it kills rats how does ricin kill you do you need to eat it i you can inhale it eat it it was in a cigarette in breaking bad i'm basing all of this on breaking it was hidden in a cigarette though like i i thought that was just a storage spot i i believe that is the case would yeah i i think that ingesting it would be would be like the way to go someone smoked a cigarette and that that killed them right that would kill them if you smoked it too like it's yeah what could you do this one wouldn't kill you like if you put a little on your skin would it like absorb in and kill you i think so honestly and i'm no ricin expert but i've seen them do this comparison you are right now on this podcast they know but i've seen where
Starting point is 00:17:37 they shoot cyanide they're like this much cyanide is deadly and this much ricin is deadly and it's like oh shit that's like a thousand that's not even that's that's like a hundred thousand times stronger than cyanide or something let me let me those fentanyl uh pictures they'll show where it's like this is how much of an opiate or how many of these pills uh these xyz pills you need to take to die versus the amount of fentanyl and it's like such a small picture like you can see grains like lying top of each other. Ricin is deadly if you inhale three milligrams of it. Unfortunately, I'm not sure how much a milligram of gas is. You just have to weigh it.
Starting point is 00:18:13 It would be dust. You would just put it on the scale and you would weigh it. Like a fine powder. I don't even know how much three milligrams of a fine powder is. That could be a mound the size of my thumb. Here's five things to know about ricin from thedailybeef.com. There's no antidote. The symptoms are slow to appear.
Starting point is 00:18:32 It can be quite deadly. It says an adult would have to eat about eight castor beans after first removing the indigestible skin to die. Holy shit! You could just cook up eight be- castor beans and throw them in a pot of pintos or in a burrito and that would do the trick? I can't buy that. Wait, you can- wait, eight beans
Starting point is 00:18:52 kill- what are these goddamn beans for? What website is this? How reputable is this? It's the Daily Beast, but only two millionth. The Daily Beast? Yeah, but two millionth. I don't trust them on their castor bean knowledge. Let me get this out two millionths of an ounce of pure ricin or about the same size as one grain of salt can be fatal in fact ricin is
Starting point is 00:19:17 six thousand times more poisonous than cyanide jesus i bet castor beans are hard to get why are we you know you know how people are always like we need to save this like poison dart frog we need to save these whales we need equally and as you know steadfast environmentalists going out there and saying we don't need castor beans my friend and they just cut out all the bad plants kyle i disagree with you on the castor beans on amazon uh 648 amazon prime my search history now includes I disagree with you on the castor beans. They're on Amazon. Oh, 648 Amazon Prime. My search history now includes how deadly is ricin and castor beans back to back. I'm not sure if I'm on any list,
Starting point is 00:19:52 but here we are. Wait, it takes eight of those things to kill you and you can order them on Amazon? For $6.48? There is no way that you can throw eight of those in some pinto beans in a burrito and kill someone. There's just no way they'd sell it on fucking Amazon. Free delivery by Sunday. I could throw
Starting point is 00:20:07 something over. Someone could throw something over the counter at Chipotle and dump some beans in and then run away. There's no fucking way. I'm saying there's no way they're selling poison of this potency for $6 on Amazon. And it looks like beans.
Starting point is 00:20:24 I don't understand the castor bean thing isn't that a regular ingredient in food no it's not why are they sold at grocery stores i i look dude i can't imagine why they're sold i don't think they are sold at grocery stores i don't know what they're for other than they were i know no i i don't know where you get castor beans what i was saying i i mean i was i was hoping you couldn't get them from amazon but i wasn't gonna go down that rabbit I don't know where you get castor beans. Amazon? I mean, I was hoping you couldn't get them from Amazon, but I wasn't going to go down that rabbit hole. I'd already downloaded cyanide
Starting point is 00:20:52 versus ricin. I'm weighing my options over here. I'm right there with you. I'm trying to find castor bean recipes, anything that would show that it's not just used for poison. Here's a good Google search. What are castor beans for? Castor bean recipes, like anything that would show that it's not just used for poison. Here's a good Google search.
Starting point is 00:21:07 What are castor beans for? The plant that produces seeds. Castor oil is produced by pressing ripe seeds, and the hull contains a deadly poison called ricin. Castor oil is used as a laxative for constipation, to start labor and pregnancy, and to start the flow of breast milk. So the oil, which comes from the seeds, which I suppose are
Starting point is 00:21:31 different from the beans? Yeah, definitely they'd be different. The beans are the seeds, Taylor. We're coming back around to the chicken thing again. Beans are seeds! Well, I mean, don't you harvest them at like different points i don't know i don't know yeah we're outside our depth on the poison thing here i just know
Starting point is 00:21:55 russians are scary russians are scary now would you like to watch another black woman get hit by a car you know i do i'd love to watch another car collision let's go to that the eight second one the one that's just right to the point yeah don't blink on this video boys let me uh let me spend a second trying to format it yeah it happens immediately i i i queued this up and i accidentally played the first second. I'm ready, by the way. And ready, set, play. Pow! Right in the kisser! Where's all that screaming coming from?
Starting point is 00:22:36 There's two people in frame. There's like 30 witnesses. Like, I don't know. I always hear those stories like, yeah, X and Y happened in this bad neighborhood. No witnesses. I got to imagine that everybody's just like, yeah, X and Y happened in this bad neighborhood. No witnesses. I got to imagine that everybody's just like, I didn't see nothing. Because every time I see some crazy shit go down on Worldstar, there's a dozen people there to watch this shit. It's practically a spectator sport.
Starting point is 00:22:58 This is outrageous. I want to know what led up to it. Right? So who is it? Oh, Bill Burr has that routine. I've talked about it before where he's like, there's no reason to hit a woman. And then he's like, actually, you should never hit a woman. But there are lots and lots of reasons they give you.
Starting point is 00:23:15 And he even brings up, help me with names. Is it Beyonce who got hit? Rihanna got hit by Chris Brown? Chris Brown, yeah. Okay, yeah. And Bill Burr questions what led up to that. He's like, do you think that she had an apron on? She just came from the stove.
Starting point is 00:23:31 Honey, the chocolate chip cookies are ready. And he just started beating down on her. He's like, I bet she pulled out the most hurtful stuff she could come up with in an effort to hurt his feelings, and it worked. That's his theory on it. And it didn't sound outrageous. What happened leading up to this car accident? Accident. She's the only one who made an accident
Starting point is 00:23:55 because she fucking did something wrong. I like how he ran her over into a driveway. He doesn't even want to escape. He just wants to get home. His defense should be like, I just had to shit. And she was right in my way. Your Honor, let the court see
Starting point is 00:24:12 that this is the front of my driveway. And she damaged my bumper with her face and clavicles. Well, she's throwing shit at him, and I gotta imagine that wasn't the first thing she threw at him, maybe. Wasn't the first thing she said at him maybe it wasn't the first thing she said right maybe it was a woman driving the car and she felt like without using a car
Starting point is 00:24:31 she had no other options maybe maybe it was an accident and it was an asian woman driving the car oh jesus oh i choose to believe that i like that better i choose to believe i. I like that better. I choose to believe. Somehow this ties into guns to me, right? Because my daughter is not pro-gun. So I say, oh, you want to live in a world where guys can do anything they want to girls, just knowing that they're helpless, right? Guns are banned. Therefore, my biceps are bigger. I can do anything I want.
Starting point is 00:25:01 Guns are a feminist position because they level the playing field. You know, even if just one in fifty has a gun in their purse, then you really want to roll those dice? It should be a feminist position, but it seems like most of those folks dislike it. Well, I'm here to change that.
Starting point is 00:25:19 Good. Yeah. Everyone should own guns. Multiple. Hanging off of you at all times be like the old west that's that's like when the gun people go too far you know when you see those arguments and it's like you didn't have to go as far as you did but like the hardcore ones who are like actually not only is it important that we should be able to own firearms i should be able to have a tactical nuke why is kim jong-un better than me And if I were to walk around with dual-wielded 1887 lever-action shotgun before the patch, imagine how much damage I could do in self-defense. Dude, so my Facebook feed, oh my god, I could go on and on about this.
Starting point is 00:25:58 It is a bubble conservative position that all these tech firms are like lined up against the conservatives meanwhile my facebook feed is just overrun with like conservative positions and memes and things like that and and very very little of the blue side this guy is posting hey look did you notice a good guy with a gun took out a bad guy with a gun and i being an asshole who doesn't need any friends fact check these people. It's like yeah, this was just recently. One, that Atlanta mall shooting, the good guy with the gun you're talking about was literally a policeman, right? Not the concealed
Starting point is 00:26:33 carry that you're implying it is. Two, he shot an innocent bystander, not the shooter. The shooter got away. There are so many actual stories they could have gone to. It happens happens when a cop shoots someone when a cop does something wrong we don't count him as a gun owner okay that's not fair that's like counting that's like counting suicides amongst the gun violence i don't count him as a gun owner when he does something right they're separate from concealed absolutely cops don't
Starting point is 00:26:59 count cops don't count yeah that'd be like like counting military mishaps and shit. Like, look, another gun owner. Right. Yeah. He was a Marine. He was in Afghanistan. They're not real people. I wonder if they ever make gun mistakes and what the culture is there, right? Because I would just think, I'll make it me.
Starting point is 00:27:22 If I carried a loaded AR-15 all the time all the time i might muzzle sweep somebody like do they just get over the muzzle sweep thing and and relax on that sure on that have you ever watched those uh like open carry events like even those people are muzzle sweeping each other like walking around like in their parades and what about like accidental misfires or negligent discharge depending on you know your favorite term uh does that ever happen do they ever just shoot one into a bank well see they don't have like a robust stat keeping system in afghanistan for these kinds of issues it's just like you know i'm fucked up i'm sure accidents happen but like hanging around with those guys like they got really good trigger discipline.
Starting point is 00:28:06 That's the most important thing. It doesn't seem to me that they mind the muzzle sweeping at all in a combat type situation. If you watch those videos, we're not so much worried about Dave somehow shooting Bill in the face.
Starting point is 00:28:22 We're really worried about Hockmed over there. We've got to stay low. And if that means that my muzzle gets pointed at Dave a little bit, Dave don't mind too much because I'm watching his back. I didn't think, I thought what he was talking about amongst the terrorists themselves, like that gun safety where it's like, Hachmed, you should not have your finger on the trigger.
Starting point is 00:28:38 There are no infidels around. Those guys. So I'm just a regular average gun owner. Like I'm not special in terms of marksmanship Or anything But I look at the bad guys You know from our perspective They're terrible They're not looking where they're shooting
Starting point is 00:28:53 They're like blind firing That's illegal in paintball Yet here they are Illegal because it's effective Maybe like The stock ends here And they're like holding it out there Pushing forward every time they shoot like the sopranos or something have you ever heard that story it was somewhere in africa where like uh some this is like a
Starting point is 00:29:16 fucking while ago i don't think that the tribe that who whatever either the you know belgians wherever we're fighting even had guns and so the belgians whoever it was lost a battle and they lost a bunch of uh weapons there they're just too outnumbered and so they went back and the africans who had fought them were using the guns and the you know belgians or whatever fucking european country it was you know ran them over wiped them out in that battle and then when they found all of the weapons like i don't know what the term is but the iron sight that's adjustable on the back where you can move it up and down in order to gauge distance. They found all of them all the way up at the very top. And they were like, why on earth?
Starting point is 00:29:52 They weren't even shooting us from that far away. Why would they have them all gauged up to the top? And they asked someone, one of the captives, and he was like, because we wanted the guns to shoot harder. I thought that was going to be it. The higher it was, the more I thought that was going to be it. The higher it was, the more power the gun was going to have. And it was like, well, no wonder we didn't lose anyone. Way over our heads.
Starting point is 00:30:19 They killed the general two miles behind us somehow, but missed all of us. They actually won this one. Give them credit. That's hilarious. They should mislabel it just for the future in case it happens again it goes like a foot up yeah it's it's it always interests me like like whenever you go to a gun store a lot of times they've got like a whole rack of like really old rifles and i and i i almost never know what the fuck they are if they're like that made between that period of like 1897 and like 1950 or something like that.
Starting point is 00:30:46 Like all of those weird German and Russian and Chinese and Japanese weapons. I don't know what any of this shit is. They're all just rusty and wooden. But they've all got those crazy long-range sights that'll flip up in the back. It's like, Jesus, 1,600 meters. What the? You can't even see anyone That far really but they were really Optimistic about what their soldiers would be doing
Starting point is 00:31:08 Out there I'm surprised Kyle always seems to know Everything I ever ask him about guns And I inherited some they weren't worth anything But like Kyle do you know what this thing is That's a I don't even know 1863 whatever Yeah in that case I do
Starting point is 00:31:24 I mean like i know a lot more than most but i'm i don't i wouldn't consider myself a gun expert or anything like that but the um yeah i recognized that one that one wasn't too hard it had a really unique um look to it like i don't even remember what it was but in any case like when you go to gun stores though there'll be like this big pile of old cheap shit that's all like $250 a rifle or something like that. You know how the media calls every gun an AK-47? Exactly.
Starting point is 00:31:52 I refer to all of those as Mosin-Nagants. There you go. They're just a whole Mosin-Nagant. Look at that. You're totally correct. Look at that stack of Mosin-Nagants. Yeah, that's what they are. Maybe you guys want to you guys ever drive around
Starting point is 00:32:08 when you're not thinking and you'll just have weird scenarios pop in your head that you laugh at? Go on. Where you'll think about something that could be... I was giggling to myself driving around the other day
Starting point is 00:32:18 thinking about how... You know how Elon Musk, very successful. He's gotten billions from the government and turned it into what I think are mostly positive projects. And so he gets a lot of praise. Elon Musk, very successful. He's gotten billions from the government and turned it into what I think are pretty mostly positive projects. And so he gets a lot of praise.
Starting point is 00:32:30 And I was thinking, Trump being so ran by his ego, he didn't pick Elon. Elon was already getting money back when Obama was in there. And so I was thinking how funny it would be is if Trump was like, oh Bob, I got his choice of a billionaire and i'm gonna give 200 billion dollars
Starting point is 00:32:49 to another great genius to make incredible things for our country here the man the one and only behind dyson vacuum cleaners and then that guy comes out and he keeps making big promises like i'm putting mr dyson here in charge of anti-air defense against those Korean fucks. And so then Dyson pumps it up for a while and he's like you won't believe I'm going to make Musk look like a little bitch. He has no idea the sucking power that we have here at Dyson
Starting point is 00:33:15 Corporate. And then like every time It's the end of SpaceX every time they launch it it pulls him down. But no matter how much money they give him every time when he comes to reveal it he's like and now mr dyson revealing our new anti-air david sling style defense system he'd come out and he'd be like i want all of you to close your eyes and imagine yourself vacuuming whilst sitting down now open your eyes it is no longer a dream. You can vacuum in this thermal-controlled, driving vacuum cleaner.
Starting point is 00:33:47 Everybody's like, AH FUCK! Again, like, and then he gives them more money, and he only brings vacuum cleaners! It's just more and more best vacuum cleaners! I wanted some kind of a- But he's just so egotistical, he can't give them- he's like, no, I- you know, these vacuum cleaners actually are the best, you know? I don't know, I- I wanted some sort of a shop vac. Like a giant shop vac that sucked missiles out of the air. Something like that.
Starting point is 00:34:12 Have you ever seen the air bazookas? The air zookas? Yeah, yeah. Those things are interesting. They're cool. No, it's a handheld thing. It's kind of like a slingshot. Yeah, you pull it back.
Starting point is 00:34:24 What I haven't done. I need a friend that vapes or something and I can shoot it across the room. It's a handheld thing. It's kind of like a slingshot. Yeah, you pull it back. What I haven't done, I need a friend that vapes or something, and I can shoot it across the room. I've seen it on video. You've never seen that? I have. That's the only way I've seen it. It's where there's like a smoke ring.
Starting point is 00:34:36 Yeah, yeah. I think cigarette smokers will fill it with smoke, and then it shoots the puff of smoke across the room. It seems cool. Yeah. Well, there's that fella who wasn't strapped into his hang glider. I found him interesting. I don't know if we ever discussed, and maybe I'm wrong,
Starting point is 00:34:52 I've talked about it in my private life, but like the guy who, the missionary who went to the island of uncontacted peoples and got arrowed. I was just thinking of him. Interesting story as well. There's the woman who farted very loudly in like the dollar general can we do the mercenary dude have we discussed the missionary yeah yeah yeah big difference that
Starting point is 00:35:11 is different yeah if he was a mercenary he would have fared better he would have fared much better so i want to say it's some it's a very remote island off the coast of india i think because now way off the coast though like did you see it on a map? I'm going to try and find it. I think it's called North Sentinel Island. And these people on this island are like an uncontacted tribe for the most part. And they've been genetically isolated for like 30,000 years or something like that. Some absurd amount of time. They're their own people. people and this dumbass missionary goes over there and tries to press his religious beliefs on these people and go figure they shoot him full of arrows apparently got him in the eye
Starting point is 00:35:54 an accurate bunch over there they arrowed him the fuck up killed his ass and now like i believe that the u.s is asking india to go in and recover the body and the indians are like no no we don't we call that death island um no last time we sent some people over there we sent a little bit of curry and uh they never came back they were eating they were you know we should like airdrop them just modern snacks because they would love that like they'd probably be really happy or if they just like if they saw an indian guy just like slingshotting them pringles or something you joke someone did that they pull up on a boat to the shallows and they start throwing coconuts at these motherfuckers on the beach and they're collecting those coconuts like it's fucking can't they're like oh fucking free coconuts and they're just like but you know they keep like dropping them you know
Starting point is 00:36:49 when like a kid they're so happy with their coconuts and the tom and jerry cartoons the mouse would like keep trying to get all of the cheese and he'd have it like eight times taller than him but he keeps dropping it all and he wants more cheese but he just every time he gets a new piece of cheese he drops two more and that's how they are with these coconuts. That's their culture. 50 years from now, grandkids are going to be like, Grandpa, Grandpa, tell me a bit about when the coconut man came.
Starting point is 00:37:14 Oh, you won't believe it, son. This man came with if it was a dozen, it was a thousand, I tell you. Even coconut. But I mean real snacks. They can't get Reese's Fast Bre tell you. It's like even coconut. But I mean like real snacks. Like stuff, they can't get Reese's Fast Breaks there. They didn't even, they had like wooden tools for ages, right?
Starting point is 00:37:33 That was the best they could do. And then a boat accidentally ran aground on shore, right? And I think they, oh, a helicopter came and rescued the people off the boat. They didn't even go on the island because they were like attacking them from the island. And there's a reason for that that I'll circle back to. But now they have metal tools. They've been taking slices of metal off of this sunken ship for like 30, 50 years now. And just now they have like metal arrowheads and stuff like that. It turns out that a long time ago, like in the the 1800s this guy came to their island and treated
Starting point is 00:38:07 them like animals right they're like measuring their dick and they're like measuring their dick to see how long it is and like looking at their breeded writing down notes and treating them like like probing them and shit and ever since then as soon as a white guy comes to the island they're like fuck that and they just start immediately shooting arrows at him. And this missionary was like, ah, it could be a little dicey, but I'm going to try and bring them the word of God. And they're like, no way! We are not interested in your fake God.
Starting point is 00:38:33 And they killed him. God did not protect him. The great coconut in the sky protect us. Here's a... Let me link it to you. But you probably want to, like like screen this on a different screen woody because even though it's like nat geo style nudity like you can still see some dicks on there i'm not sure how strict they would be but uh so this is just from a twitter thread of
Starting point is 00:38:59 this guy who is like apparently obsessed with this whole thing you were just discussing of that guy going over there in the 1800s so the first part it's just a picture of this dude who's like a fucking foot taller than all these other adults because he got nutrition and wasn't like waiting for the coconut man to show up but this guy's beginning of explanation is there's a lot of talk about how the missionary killed by the natives of north sentinel island they're probably so aggressive because of this weirdo maurice vidal portman So here's a big thread about this creeps and some of facts from my decade-long obsession with the island. The Senatiles are often described as uncontacted. That's not true.
Starting point is 00:39:32 They had a very significant contact in 1880 with Commander Portman. Portman, the black sheep's son of some minor noble, was assigned by the English Royal Navy to administer and pacify the Andaman Islands, a job he pursued from 1880 to 1900 with the full measure of his own pervasity. Pervasity. So he's a pervert. He's a big pervert. Process the word. Yeah. Portman was erotically obsessed with the Andamanese, and he indulged his passion for photography by kidnapping members of various tribes and posing them in mock Greek homoerotic compositions. Nice. During his 20 years in a sexualized heart of darkness, Portman measured and cataloged
Starting point is 00:40:06 every inch of his prisoners' bodies with an obsessive love on genitals. This is something from the guy's diary. Lending support to Mary Louise Pratt's notion of bodyscape and theocolonial gaze, male genitalia appear to have been a particular point of fascination oh this is not from this this is analysis of it sorry appear to be a particular point of fascination for portman and molesworth one man is described as having quote atrophied testicles both being hard but the size of hedge sparrows eggs the same individual is also marked by the observation penis small with moderate size prepus uh another one penis larger than usual summarizes a man named churco uh t'li is described as the chief of Interview Island and a man of considerable authority and intelligence, but also equipped with a bad temper and genitals
Starting point is 00:40:51 that are, quote, fully developed but small. That's right. See, he was trolling in 1880. Just imagine being a Neolithic person spending a few weeks in this guy's rotating menagerie. Portman spent most of his time in the greater Andaman Islands, but in 1880, he landed on North Sentinel. imagine being a Neolithic person spending a few weeks in this guy's rotating menagerie. Portman spent most of his time in the greater Andaman Islands, but in 1880 he landed on North Sentinel. The natives fled and his party ventured inland to find a settlement which
Starting point is 00:41:12 had been abandoned in haste. But they located an elderly couple and a few children they were able to abduct. The couple died quickly, likely from ailments to which they had no immunity. The children spent a few weeks with Portman doing God knows what, after which he returned them to the island. Portman returned on a couple occasions, but the Senatiles hid each time. A story related by the children was certainly passed down among the hundred or so inhabitants of the island, and even today. Portman's fatal kidnapping is just beyond a human lifetime. So when the Indian government attempted contact an anthropologist in the 1960s and 70s, the Senatiles were understandably hostile outsiders.
Starting point is 00:41:47 In 1981, a cargo ship named the Primrose ran aground on the coral reef surrounding North Sentinel. The crew radioed for assistance and settled in for a long wait. But in the morning, they saw 50 men with bows on the beach building makeshift boats. The crew called for an emergency airlift
Starting point is 00:41:58 and were evacuated. And not a moment too soon, rough waves had thwarted the Senatiles in their attempts to board, but the weather was clearing. The ship and its cargo were left at the island, awaiting discovery by Neolithic eyes. Today you can see the
Starting point is 00:42:11 gutted remains of the Primrose on Google Earth. Imagine climbing on board that ship, a completely alien vessel filled with alien things. Imagine seeing simple machines for the first time, a hinge, a latch, a wheel, things that would instantly make sense in a satisfying way. Others would be so incomprehensible to avoid notice. I have never been able to find out what the cargo was on the Primrose in all my years of reading.
Starting point is 00:42:30 There are about 100 tons of some sort of consumer product on board, and I'm curious what it was. But even absent the cargo, think about all the things that must have been on that ship. In the 90s, anthropologists returned to the island to make new attempts at contact. They were met with a different attitude. Not friendly, but they were willing to accept gifts. Here's a video of the encounter. You can notice that these pre-Iron Age people now had metal weapons, like the knife carried by this man.
Starting point is 00:42:52 They had scavenged metal from the prinrose and cold forged it into tools. This just goes on for a while, so I'm gonna stop there. Am I the only one who doesn't think that these uncontacted tribes need to be preserved like some sort of fucking Neolithic world in a bottle or something, like a snow
Starting point is 00:43:10 globe of ancient times. You think that we should catalog their penis sizes? Look, we should go in there and just... A confident man, but a small dick. Weird, he got leadership position at five inches. Much larger than right.
Starting point is 00:43:26 But both quite firm. And I also don't believe that they walk in there and they see a latch the first time and they're like, oh! You don't think so? If I walk on an alien ship and there's something that I've never even conceived of on there, I don't see it and and go of course this is how you do this like like i feel like you need some sort of like teaching method to get you you know that's right what yeah i don't know taylor like i it's weird because i feel like the kinds of things that i would learn from are no longer simple we figured out the simplest of simple things like this the screw and the wedge and the wheel and such uh but these guys
Starting point is 00:44:05 they didn't have all that worked out now i wonder i wonder what the you can totally see something that you you hadn't personally worked out but you could you could immediately recognize utilitarian nature of it and how and you'd be like ah so that's how that works like if you found a wheel barrow but with no wheels but when you grab the handles, it just started levitating. You'd be like, oh shit. Look at this. It's a levitating wheelbarrow.
Starting point is 00:44:32 And to them, they see a wheelbarrow and they're like, oh shit. We've just been dragging things around on flattened out logs since time immemorial. We were told for thousands of years, you will not improve on the laid down log like this one guy there who crops up every few generations he's like god fucking abuda over there thinking he's gonna change the world with his latches and his knobs and get this get this he
Starting point is 00:45:00 chopped a tree into segments right get that keep listening hilarious i know puts a hole in the middle a stick through that rolls it around calls it a wheel what's wrong with pulling a log abun too too good for log pull that's probably what they go through there he is too weak to pull luck i was thinking about it okay ever think like go at what period of time would you be a genius right probably never i'm no astronomer but my basic understanding of stars and earth rotations and the planets would be pretty pretty elite at some period yeah but you couldn't prove it right i feel like it depends if you really put some thought into it i feel feel like you could go back to the early 1900s and you could really get some shit done. You would hire the experts to put your ideas into practice.
Starting point is 00:45:52 I don't know how to make penicillin, but I know how to make penicillin. It's bread mold. So if I got myself a couple of 1897 scientists together and was like, look, I don't know when penicillin was invented, by the way, clearly. I think it was early 1900s. 1930s, I think. In any case, it'd be like, look, there's this thing called penicillin. It's literally
Starting point is 00:46:13 bread mold. I don't know if it's a special bread. I don't know if we gotta get some rye or some pumpernickel. I don't know if it needs to be moist first or somebody needs to poop on it, but this bread mold cures everything, absolutely everything that we've had a problem. Syphilis, say no more.
Starting point is 00:46:32 Three days, you're good to go. Dude, I have the same problem of not exactly knowing enough to be useful. Like, guys, guys, I know that with a lemon or a potato or something I can make a battery. That's as much as I know. So we're going to be poking around with wires and shit for some.
Starting point is 00:46:48 But anyone have a small light bulb? We can see if it's working. By the way, has anyone invented wires yet? Shit. All right. I'm so fucking dumb. Like, I would be trying to, like, come up with a thing like an event. The math needed to prove that, like, a star placement there was different.
Starting point is 00:47:04 But really, I just have to go to one of the smart people at the age and be like, hey, that star I'm pointing at right now, tonight, remember where that is. And the next morning, I'd be like, it's over there now. I don't know what it means, but you do. We're moving.
Starting point is 00:47:20 I'm pretty sure I know how to cure the bubonic plague, or at least the bubonic plague. I read two different things things one sounds very painful but it involves lancing the boils and and carter cauterizing them apparently that's a big part of curing it and you get those boils in like your armpits or in your lymph nodes and stuff and the other involved taking the scabs from other people who had the plague off of said boils, drying them out, and then the person snorts them.
Starting point is 00:47:50 I feel like we're pretty close to surviving that scale disease in Game of Thrones with Kyle's techniques. I swear to God I'm not making this up. I want to say I read that the Arabics had figured out that if they took the dried scabs of a plague victim and ground them up and then snorted them, that was like a vaccine for bubonic plague because you're getting a weakened version of the plague. I'm way too much of a snowflake because in my head all I can think of is, is Arabics racist?
Starting point is 00:48:24 No, I didn't just say Arabics. Yeah, I did. because in my head all i can think of is arabics racist yeah yeah yeah i did yeah no i don't think i think it's just improper grammar more than anything i don't know yeah i can't say anything without wondering i think i referred to mexicans as mexicans a little while ago and i had to process it no that one's okay yeah it's weird how there's been sort of a derogatory like thing put on mexican but it's because so many people are like yeah there's damn mexicans yeah that sounds bad actually that's an appropriate way to refer to mexicans okay i'm clear yeah i just anyway it's tricky now i wonder what the next one to go is like when is person of color gonna revert back to what colored person was where they're like actually we don't like this either like and then
Starting point is 00:49:10 they decide to move that to something new i just hope savage american becomes a thing oh i wanted i think that's an uphill fight you guys are tough i've got my savage american uh jersey on here oh yes you do i really like that jersey actually here. Oh, yes, you do. I really like that jersey. Actually, while you wear that jersey, you're allowed to say it. That's right. I am one of the tribe, technically. One of the tribe?
Starting point is 00:49:36 Yeah, you're at least as Native American as Elizabeth Warren. I knew that was coming. Probably more. You've got high cheekbones. Not very dark hair, though. No, I don't. My mother was blonde, but dad's got black hair. Nice little mixture there.
Starting point is 00:49:53 I like that. What would your gift be if you were showing up at one of those islands? It's got to just be something that you can carry. How about that? Man, I think a fucking sword. I was going gonna bring a shield like captain america's shields for them they flip it over and put rice in it or something to start cooking it i i feel like they might like that like a legit sword like a nice real chopping sword or maybe just a good
Starting point is 00:50:21 axe like a good splitting maw or something like that. Like something that's both impressive to look at, clearly alien to them because of its workmanship, and utilitarian. Like if you just give them like a fucking iPad, like where are they going to charge that bitch up at, right? That is God for like 12 hours. Well, you need a potato and some wires, and the rest I don't understand. I think
Starting point is 00:50:45 they're going to have a hard time charging it with a low current tater. They're going to eat the tater. Like, halfway through, like, charging that thing, they're like, can we just eat the potato? Because you just, like, give them seeds. Oh, you're talking about introducing them to agriculture?
Starting point is 00:51:02 That's a long talk when we're drawing and saying. What if you show up with some barbed wire and teach them about the fence? I don't want to bring them anything that they're going to immediately use to kill me in hopes that I have... You want to teach them domestication? I think that might be even harder. You're right. After I said it, I'm going to be like, okay, you put the seed in the
Starting point is 00:51:18 ground. No, you don't dig it up right away. It takes a... So then we put the sea water on... No! No, you don't do that. They're pissing on it or something. so then we put the sea water on no no you don't do that they're pissing on it or something they're this is some jack in the magic beanstalk shit it's about as believable to them as like that story is to us i i think you give them a fucking sword man because i'm just imagining like like they've probably got
Starting point is 00:51:41 something similar to a sword now like a like like like they make those wooden swords in the amazon and apparently there's hardwood there that's legitimately hard enough you can make like a a cutting implement out of it and kill a man with it but if you showed him a fucking stainless steel saber like one or maybe one of those cold steel like uh like like swords that they make for like zombie defense or whatever the fuck and you handed it to chief numbo, and of course, he'd immediately go decapitate one of his enemies with it, and he'd love you. You would start a
Starting point is 00:52:11 civil war if you brought one sword. And you'd be on the winning side. No, bow and arrow is not a bad thing. Oh, a legit bow and arrow. That's how they kill the missionary. A compound bow. Am I saying it right, missionary? Yeah, I am. What did I call him before uh mercenary yeah all right now i'm all caught up if you not even maybe a compound bow because those like eventually go bad and but but but
Starting point is 00:52:35 like recurve bows like like that's another step up in the technology right like you know that they've got those silly bows they've got and then i guess you'd have the long bow and then the recurve bow where the ends go back the other way and it adds a tremendous amount of extra power, 20 or 30% or something like that, and then just a shit fucking ton of wooden arrows like good ones, they'd be blown away
Starting point is 00:52:56 by that, I'd love that I think what would endear them the most to you would be like a big cooking set, like a bunch of pots and pans and shit that'd be so much easier for them and then like normal knives to cut things up like a knife set and like a pot and pan set pair of jeans would blow them the fuck away oh bring jeans for but you know what oh oh this would be hilarious you bring jeans but you bring like
Starting point is 00:53:25 jeans that are way out of style like i'd bring like jeans from the 90s and i'd hand them out huge leg jean cojean so then when people go when the coconut man shows up they've got these enormous big big legged pants i got a better one what if what if like unbeknownst unbeknownst to them because they don't know shit you dress them up as the village people. You just got a bunch of Indian police officer firemen, like the whole bit, and they're all standing there proud of their new fucking clothes, and you're just like,
Starting point is 00:53:58 I don't know, they're the village people. That would be hilarious. Like you go there and you're the king and you teach them English and you make them act out American shows. You know, this version of House of Cards isn't half bad. Very small constituency. Not a lot to gain or lose, doesn't seem, but whatever. I don't know how Frank's going to get away with this one.
Starting point is 00:54:21 He's molesting the kids of the island. Well, he is. Got to make it clear in the show that acting on yet dude all right i thought i i wasn't sure if we covered this yet i watched season six i think it is the new season the final season of house of cards we're talking about house of cards with uh robin wright i guess it's just robin wright because she's not with sean penn anymore robin wright leading the leading the show right she's not with Sean Penn anymore. Robin Wright leading the show, right? She's the president. I'm going to spoil the shit out of this thing.
Starting point is 00:54:49 No need to turn away because you're never going to want to watch it. You want all these spoilers, folks. It is garbage. They ruined it. And it's not just because Kevin Spacey's not there because Robin Wright tries her best. It is convoluted, poorly written, ridiculous. There's nothing at stake. Her issues are small compared to Frank's. There's this ridiculous side story where Greg Kinnear is plotting against her. It's unbelievable that he has enough power to go
Starting point is 00:55:20 against the president of the United States anyway. And they kill Frank off screen. Like you never see Frank again. They won't even let you hear his voice. Like there's this, one of the big like MacGuffins in the show is this voice recorded diary of Frank's where he like, you know,
Starting point is 00:55:36 whenever you look at the camera and he talked to us, that's his diary. And all of that's recorded. Like the stuff about, there's two kinds of pain. Pain you learn from and grow from and useless pain like all that shit's recorded right and and and like the his fucking bald henchman buddy he has all that shit and he keeps like playing it but he'll and he's
Starting point is 00:56:00 listening to it and and and and memorizing it because they don't want to play fucking Kevin Spacey's voice. They're probably not allowed to because they paid him like $40 or $50 million to just kick it, get out of there. So they're just – they probably can't play his fucking voice anymore. And at one point, like every time they play it, they put earbuds in. And the reporter is like – That's so lame. And he's like – he's telling the reporter what it says, and she's writing it down.
Starting point is 00:56:26 And it's taking forever, right? Because he's like, Having to rewind. Yeah, yeah. And she's like, Could you just play it for me? And he's like, No.
Starting point is 00:56:35 No, no, I couldn't do that. I couldn't do that. And then he sends it to Robin Wright, you know, Claire. And Claire plays it. But he sent the earbuds with the ipod so she's putting the earbuds in and she like listens to a little bit and then she pulls the eye pulls them out real quick before she can like listen to every step of the way i got three episodes in and i
Starting point is 00:56:55 couldn't bring myself to care about any of the plot points one it's just six years of essentially the same thing like this guy from outside the president is trying to dethrone the president if i'm following right and i don't know like that has that not been the plot this whole way along trying to dethrone the president and that and like you know covering up his evil doings and and you know taking you know rubbing out the people who might try to expose him dude you want to know how the season ends yeah fucking the bald guy i can't think of his name right now i don't really know who he is he's yeah yeah he's the main henchman gets things done keep secrets yeah yeah gets he he's having this conversation with claire in the oval office just the two of them and he's already like turned over the frank's diary and um to the last thing like
Starting point is 00:57:47 the frank through the law turned over frank's diary he's giving it to her he he's like i don't want him i don't want this getting out anyway because it's going to make frank look bad his biggest thing is not disgracing frank he's like do what you want but don't you throw frank under the bus while you do it like he's not going to be a stepping stone for you to get your power that's not how we're going to treat his legacy frank had left him and his and everything in his will it was all left to him claire's pregnant with his baby you find that out like halfway through the season frank's baby yeah she's got frank's baby in her and she's fucking like eight months pregnant in the final episode and does she ever like take headphones and put put it on her belly no so now little baby you may be confused about the way things work the fact is i'm a rapist and was removed from the program there's a pretty
Starting point is 00:58:37 tense scene where see the last thing that frank left bald guy is a letter opener and it says you know where to put this and it means fucking stab claire you know we like like i as a viewer like pick that up immediately i was like where to put it oh and claire's fucking heart that's where he wants it fucking put and so it's just the two of them the oval office she's crazy pregnant he's like a broken man like like he today was the first day he'd shaved in like eight months or something like that like yesterday he looked like a hobo and he's like fucking gets a good shave and he's showing up in the oval and she pours them both a scotch she's eight months pregnant he's an alcoholic who can't touch the shit and she she's like eh you know when it calls
Starting point is 00:59:23 for it yeah you do what you gotta do. She's fucking drinking the scotch down. He looks at it and fucking sits it down. And he's walking toward her with a letter opener. And then he starts crying and like hugs her. And she fucking turns it on him, shoves it in his goddamn liver. He hits the ground and she fucking covers his mouth until he dies. And then she calls the Secret Service. And that's the whole fucking series
Starting point is 00:59:46 wrapped and you're just like wait see episode 11 is next right that's the end that's absolutely all of it that sounds terrible it was garbage that's not where I thought he was going so I'll give him credit for that right yeah
Starting point is 01:00:01 it was a shocker when Claire turned the fucking letter opener on him and fucking killed him right there because right yeah it was a shocker when claire turned the fucking letter opener on him and and fucking killed him right there because i thought he i was ready for him to kill a pregnant woman and i like that she covered his mouth too because it makes it more murderous right like the letter to open her part was kind of self-defense but to straddle him and smother him yeah it's nicely murder yeah totally totally she was what she's like it'll be over soon you know or whatever like like she made sure that he was dead before she called for help man it's a real goddamn shame that kevin spacey climbed on top of a 16 year old at a an adult
Starting point is 01:00:38 party all those years ago when he was drunk and apparently pinched some guy's asses occasionally yeah i guess so dude i'm hoping i can find it there's a like two or three minute highlight of dana white talking about oscar de la jolla are you familiar with this fucking coke head yeah it basically dana white just goes off on him says he's a he's an idiot a. Calls him a cokehead like five times. Crackhead, junkie. Let me lay it out there. So Dana White, as most people know, is the face behind the UFC. He owns 5% of the company, but he kind of runs it.
Starting point is 01:01:16 The other 95% are investors. Isn't it $4 billion that they invested in it? I don't know what it's valued at. $4.5 billion. I don't know what 5% of 4.5 billion is, but it's a lot of money. It's probably $205 million. For people that don't know, what happened was
Starting point is 01:01:31 he owned 5% of the UFC. It was sold for $4.5 billion, so they paid him that. We could do the math, but it's hundreds of millions. And then they gave him 5% again. So they bought him out and gave him 5%. That's where Dana is right now.
Starting point is 01:01:48 And he's still running the show. Anyway, some people feel like he's not paying the fighters enough. And it's difficult for me on the outside to know what the scoop is. It's kind of true that the UFC stars don't make super money, right? Like the Nick Diaz level guys, the Luke Rockhold level guys. They make a lot, but they don't make Mike Tyson money. Boxing, though, has a different model. They'll take Tyson at the top of the card,
Starting point is 01:02:16 and then everyone else makes like a grand a show and a grand a win, right? Whereas on a UFC card, the second biggest guy is making 200200,000 to show and $200,000 to win. And the third biggest guy is making $80,000 to show and $80,000 to win. You know, stuff like that. So this recent one that had Chuck Liddell versus Tito Ortiz, those guys both made a lot of money. Hard to say how much. I think they were guaranteed like $200,000 and $250,000, right? Yeah, and then with the pay-per-view like with the pay-per-view unheard of percentage you know where like oscar and the two fighters basically split the pay-per-view money
Starting point is 01:02:50 yeah the pay-per-view profits right so so i really don't know what kind of profits are left over like that that's not something the kind of thing i know yeah so but everyone else on the card like there were like five amateur fighters on the card, so they got no money. Like a grand to show, a grand to win. Some of the pros were making a grand to show and a grand to win. The amateurs literally were unpaid. The lowest pros made a grand to show and a grand to win.
Starting point is 01:03:16 There's no one in the UFC that makes that little. I think the lowest of the low is 10 and 10. So Dana White had a fair counter argument that he pays his guys better than Golden Boy does. But Golden Boy coming from the boxing world is like, we pay our guys better than you do because we share more of the top line profits there. Yeah, so Dana just went ballistic calling him a cokehead, a junkie, a crackhead. And then he alluded to the cross-dressing thing. I don't know if you caught that.
Starting point is 01:03:44 So Oscar is infamously – there's an image of him wearing a bra and panties. You might want to pull that up. I think it's safe for work. It's just Oscar De La Hoya and bra and panties. He's like, hey, he's into a lot of things. Just Google the guy. You know, he did one of those on him, which is a classy move after you've called someone a cokehead. one of those on him, which is a classy move after you've called someone a cokehead.
Starting point is 01:04:09 I thought it was pretty good, and it was deserved, because I feel the same way about Oscar De La Hoya. It seems like he's... Look, Dana White loves mixed martial arts. Say what you want to say about him. I think he lies a lot, mostly for the good, he thinks, of either the company or himself. Sometimes those two are the the same thing or sometimes it's for promotional purposes or sometimes it's to save face like recently when he said that like they're cutting seth nor um is it seth north cut sage north cut sage north cut he said oh yeah we're cutting him we want him to go to some other promotion and maybe win a few fights and come back sage won his last two and he's like he's won three out of five or something like that um what happened was he got outbid you know everybody else won or somebody offered him x and so he goes back to the ufc and he's
Starting point is 01:04:58 hey can you match x and they're like no no we're not gonna match x go go go have fun but to hear dana white say it ah you know he needs to mature a little bit and some other promotion blah blah blah yeah there's a you're right he won his last two you don't typically get cut for that on the other hand you don't typically make i think he was making 80 and 80 right 80 to show 80 to win when they have to like carefully find opponents that you can still beat yeah that's kind of where he was and he's gonna fight michelle watterson next that guy is so ripped like like taylor i don't know if you're familiar with this guy let me pull up a picture of sage oh oh yeah yeah he's like
Starting point is 01:05:36 he looks like uh yeah he's like a beautiful human being and he's uh and he's like soup he's like a beautiful human being. And he's like super... He's like got the ideal body, I think, that a lot of people would want. Like just... Yeah, he's insanely fit. I've seen a picture of him before. Like probably 7% body fat or something stupid like that. Especially when he's going into the cage. Like he looks great.
Starting point is 01:06:01 Yeah. And he's got like that sort of like weird athleticism where he can do lots of interesting things like i don't know i've seen him like take an apple and just rip it apart like it's nothing and i think we could all do that to an apple but not as easily as he can i've done it on a live stream have you guys ever tried to rip an apple yeah yeah i've done it before it's not as hard as you would think once you like know the place to put your hands he went like this with an apple yeah he pulled it apart like it was two pieces already like he was like aha two apples now i had to dig my thumbs in it and really kind of work it and get it started and get a crack and then once you get a crack it pops open but uh it's this guy is so he's i saw
Starting point is 01:06:42 him take a a round hay bale. And I don't know... They're big. If you're from the country, you've got a lot of experience with round hay bales. If you're not, you've got none. So there's this weird disparity there. But for those who don't know,
Starting point is 01:06:55 they weigh about 600 or 700 pounds. They're about five feet tall. And they're not easy to move around. Now, they're shaped in such a way where two sides of it are completely flat and the rest of it is round. And, of course, if you roll it. Yeah, and there's one way, obviously, that you could roll it. And it'd be not impossible, not incredibly difficult, but not easy at the same time.
Starting point is 01:07:17 I can roll it. I can roll one that way. He rolled it the hard way. He rolled it the hard way like it was nothing. He was just like and like fucking rolled this 600 700 pound hay bale this end over end flat side over flat side impressively strong could he be a model like is there money in male model like so i've heard luke rockhold be like you know i've had modeling gigs that pay me as well as my ufc gigs okay but
Starting point is 01:07:43 if luke rockhold wasn't a fighter, would he be famous enough to be a model? You know, like Conor McGregor could be a model. Shucks, all those NBA guys are models. They're good looking and have good bodies, but they're models because they're NBA stars. Right? You know, Luke Rockhold could... Is there money to be
Starting point is 01:08:00 made in modeling? I don't know. Oh, yeah, for sure. Guy models. Oh, like, they make money, but for sure guy models oh like they make the modern like women obviously make way more i i think the modern um modern day blueprint for like that sort of person for a model or an is is the position of an influencer the it's it's the instagram model cut all that other middle ground and red and uh middleman shit out of the loop if you're like especially a guy with his physique he could just run an instagram doing cool shit like tearing coconuts apart and like fucking pumpkins to death and shit like that and
Starting point is 01:08:37 then be like what you wanted some sage cut yeah this is the best stuff you want to be cut like sage you want some sage cut this is the stuff where can You want to be cut like sage? You want some sage cut. This is the stuff. Where can I get sage cut? I'm already sold. It's 100% bone broth and milk thistle. Oh, this isn't a real product? I was ready to go. I look at like, sometimes I see these guys promote stuff,
Starting point is 01:08:58 and they are like the hottest of the hot. And I'm like, God damn. All right. If I could get one third of that, that would be amazing. That would be amazing. You know, like, look, we all want a six pack. If my four pack came back, that'd be a wonderful day.
Starting point is 01:09:15 Yes. Any definition at all. That just would be good. I think the way to get that definition is just dieting. I think it's being miserable. Yeah, just cutting. Okay, okay. I've heard your being miserable and not eating very much. I've heard your offer.
Starting point is 01:09:29 Do you have anything else? No. No. I love whenever I'm online, if I ever read where someone's like, what exercise do you do to get a six-pack? And it's, you stop using a spoon. Like, now you'll only eat with a single chopstick. Do that for six months, and you will have a six-pack i guarantee it unless you're eating like fucking donuts before this show i've been trying this for a while i'm making donut kebabs it's not working at all i'm on the bagel
Starting point is 01:09:56 and donut diet i don't need any fat any protein i'm all carb so listen before the show started my wife irons a shirt for me right it? It's not the shirt I wore all day. And that's the thing. So she puts it on and I put it on and it is tight. It's like a sausage almost. And I'm like, baby, does this,
Starting point is 01:10:13 does this look wrong? You know, like I, I feel like it's not a good look for me. I'm about to go on camera and she sees me and she's like, ah, yeah, maybe it's like a,
Starting point is 01:10:23 a fitted shirt or something. She's being very nice to me but it is clearly and and like i i uh you look at the collar it says loose fit so i fit xl and i put it on and just like if you were if i were like a dry fit rash guard type thing right and it shows every curve it's not always flattering right it was always flattering 25 years ago, but today – The love handle area. Oof. Yeesh. So we're like investigating it, and she's looking at the tag, you know,
Starting point is 01:10:51 and I was like, I haven't stepped on the scale for a while. I don't even know what it says. I had almonds last night before I went to bed. Oh, that did it. That's what's going on between my ears. I'm like, oh, you know, you pay the piper now. Who would have known I was eight almonds from going from a large to an extra large. It was Colin's shirt.
Starting point is 01:11:09 Just like it takes eight. That's hilarious. That's what it was. The button's on the wrong side. Oh, thank God. This is one of Hope's blouses. I thought something had gone horribly wrong. I thought we were just going pirate for this show.
Starting point is 01:11:25 That explains the frills. I like the frills, though. That's what happened. I put on Colin's shirt. It wasn't good. That must have been a nice realization. I've done that before. With jeans before.
Starting point is 01:11:41 I've pulled jeans out of the dryer and straight out of the dryer and go to put them on and be like, oh my god, how fat am I? And I'm like, ah, girlfriend's jeans. Girlfriend's jeans. I'm not a size six. Yeah, I'll do an ad. I'll tell everyone about
Starting point is 01:11:59 Movement Watches. You guys have heard us talk about Movement. You know, those two college dropouts that started their own watch company. This company has grown like crazy and now with almost 2 million watches sold in over 160 countries, they continue to revolutionize fashion on the belief that style should not break the bank. I don't know if you've
Starting point is 01:12:15 checked out their site lately, but they've doubled the number of watch styles and they're still expanding. Movement watches are all about looking good and keeping it simple. Movement watches don't tell you how many steps you've taken or blow your wrist up with text messages. They tell time and they're still expanding. Movement watches are all about looking good and keeping it simple. Movement watches don't tell you how many steps you've taken or blow your wrist up with text messages. They tell time, and they look good doing it. Movement watches start at just $95 at a department store.
Starting point is 01:12:33 You're looking at $400 to $500. Movement figured out that by selling online, they were able to cut out that middleman and all the retail markup, providing the best possible price. Classic design, quality construction, and styled minimalism. Get 15% off today with free shipping and free returns by going to MVMT. That's movement.com slash PKA.
Starting point is 01:12:52 See why movement keeps growing and check out their expanding collection. Go to movement.com slash PKA and join the movement. I got a couple of movement watches here they sent me. I showed them off on the last show, but just in case you don't watch every one, here's some kind of piece of shit. Here's a couple of them right here.
Starting point is 01:13:09 Very nice watches. Reasonably priced. Check them out. I like the one on all four of your fingers. Oh, really? The other one is more appealing to me. Pick your own. There's something for everyone over there. I don't know where I put
Starting point is 01:13:23 the cock ring. Oh, yeah. Is that a bracelet? I don't know. We never figured out. The label said BRAC, so I think it was a bracelet, but not for me. Yeah, it's manly wrists around here. Didn't quite make it, but if you're a young lady, it would probably fit the bill.
Starting point is 01:13:44 There it is. Yeah, check that out. I like their glasses. But if you're a young lady, it would probably fit the bill. There it is. Yeah. Check that out. I like their glasses. I honestly really do like their glasses a lot. Someone was looking for glasses recently, and they were asking the whole lot of us, hey, what kind of glasses do you wear? And I was like, what's your price range?
Starting point is 01:14:00 And they didn't want to spend over $100. And I was like, honestly, I like my Movement sunglasses. I think they're like 60 bucks or something like that, maybe less. And they look nice. Um, they they're polarized, which is very important to me personally. I don't know if you've if you've had non-polarized and you go polarized, like it really is a legit difference. It's huge. It's big deal. And, uh, and I like them a lot. You know. I've worn this pair of, well, many, many pairs of some $240 sunglasses for years and years, and I like those a lot, but I got sent the movement ones for free, and I started wearing them, and I prefer them now. Those are the ones I grab, and those are the ones I wear.
Starting point is 01:14:39 They sent me some recently, and they have clear lenses, and I'm not sure how i feel about that um i just told me they're for looking at screens but i i'm gonna i like to imagine that she's just made an error and and forgot to tell them what color uh lenses i wanted and so they sent me clear because it was an unchecked box um i don't know what to do with clear lenses i i look like a real asshole wearing some wearing just regular glasses i'll go get them it's just a terrible look yeah i love their watches and i'm not even a big watch person but if i've got like a meeting or something and i want to look extra fancy i'll pop up a watch on yeah that's for me it's like a
Starting point is 01:15:24 wedding or something. I'll turn around and look at a clock before I look at the watch, though, because I'm so not used to having them on. Once you wear a watch, I don't know. Time is just something that's nice to know easily. You think your phone has a clock, and therefore you don't need one. And then it's much more convenient to have a watch on. Any kind of formal professional situation,
Starting point is 01:15:46 you don't want to be pulling your phone out anyway. It looks like you're much more distracted than if you just You can sneak a peek during a meeting and no one knows you're trying to get out. I do like those, Kyle. These are the sunglasses. I like them a lot. I think they look a little weird because I've got headphones on and they're not sitting.
Starting point is 01:16:00 I like them a lot. Big fan. But these are the regular glasses and i'm not a fan of uh of how i look in these you look smarter yeah they work for you yeah say something smart deoxyribonucleic acid to building blocks of every life form on the planet. The British accent also adds to the smart. Yes, perhaps I'll continue
Starting point is 01:16:31 this broken British accent in this slow... For the next two hours and fifty minutes I will continue speaking with a whistling accent. Do you guys want to do an AMA question? I was going to do our second ad. That one really dragged on there for a while, but yeah, movement. Check them out.
Starting point is 01:16:48 They make good stuff. Also, Dollar Shave Club. By now, everyone knows the Dollar Shave Club ships amazing razors for just a few bucks. We've been members for a while now, and we love the service. But what you might not know is the Dollar Shave Club also has products for pretty much everything else you do in the bathroom.
Starting point is 01:17:04 Body wash, shampoo, hair gel, lip balm, everything you could possibly need to get your day started. Now at the store, there are just too many options and you can't tell the difference between any of them. Then if you have any questions, the clerk usually doesn't know the difference and he can't really help you since they aren't experts on their own products. Dollar Shave Club makes it easy and convenient for you to upgrade your shave and your bathroom routine. Now you don't have to step foot in a store to get high-quality shaving and grooming products. They'll deliver them right to your door. Just like their razors, everything is super high-quality and will leave you looking and feeling amazing.
Starting point is 01:17:40 From premium ingredients to sophisticated scents, Dollar Shave Club is changing the game. If you're like me and you're sick of all that nonsense at the store, now's the time to try Dollar Shave Club. For a limited time, Dollar Shave Club is basically giving away their starter set for new members for only $5. This starter set features their executive razor and three trial-sized versions of their most popular products that help you stay fresh and clean. In your first box, you're going to receive the shave butter, the body wash, the one wipe Charlie butt wipes, and you will also receive their executive razor, which includes their premium weighty handle and a full cassette of cartridges. After the first month, replacement cartridges are sent for only a few more bucks a month.
Starting point is 01:18:17 This offer is exclusively available at dollarshaveclub.com. That's dollarshaveclub.com. Dollarshaveclub's high-quality products. Dollar Shave Club's high quality products will have you covered from face cheeks to butt cheeks. There is no better time to try the club. Yes, check them out. Makes your mornings, your evenings,
Starting point is 01:18:36 your afternoons much more convenient. For sure. High quality products. And the one wipe Charlie. Can't undersell the one wipe Charlie. Can't oversell it, rather. Yeah, yeah. Sorry. Said quality products. And the one wipe Charlie. Can't undersell the one wipe Charlie. Can't oversell it, rather. Yeah, yeah. Sorry.
Starting point is 01:18:48 Said that wrong. I've said it many times. I'm glad that America has finally regained the crown of butthole cleanliness supremacy, right? And for some time, they had the bidet over in Europe. And we were somewhere in between India with their disgusting latrines and Europe. Woody is a white supremacist. But now
Starting point is 01:19:12 But now that we have one-wipe Charlies we're on the top. It's as good as it gets. Not only is it clean like a bidet would be, but it's even a pleasant fragrance. Wipe power! Wipe power indeed. That's not a good ad campaign.
Starting point is 01:19:36 See, I was wiping! That's what the hand was doing. You're the racist! It's wipe power! Wipe power! I can't even understand what you're saying. I can't wait for all the photoshops of this idea, this is hilarious. It is time for an asshole inspection! Dieter!
Starting point is 01:20:00 Oh Gunter, it smells a little kraut-y back here. Not using your 1.5 charlies? Look at Dieter's hole. Look at Gunther's hole. There are bits and pieces around. I swear, sometimes I wonder why I didn't just apply to a second art school. Tinkle bodies? That's not German.
Starting point is 01:20:23 All right. Patreon question. that's not german uh all right uh patreon question there's a patreon level we get to ask us questions i don't know what it is it might be ten dollars anyway which war would you rather fight in all terrible choices vietnam jungle western front trenches of world war one or world war two bastone man um i don't know. They're all terrible. Tell me about Bastogne. Is that the really cold one?
Starting point is 01:20:49 It was the Band of Brothers. It's super cold. They were in snowy foxholes, and artillery would just come out of nowhere and kill some of you. You were freezing to death the whole time, getting frostbite, no supplies getting through the lines. These are terrible options because the Bastogne one, if that's the thing I'm thinking about in the Arden Forest or wherever it was, maybe, I think, like you said,
Starting point is 01:21:12 the moors were coming in, the artillery was coming in, and the trees were splintering and blowing people up. People were getting frostbitten, toes and shit. And I don't know if it's a good thing or a bad thing, but it seemed like within a day's walk or half a day's walk behind you was a decent sized town with soup and women and but you were out there
Starting point is 01:21:32 in that hole i think i take bastone and i fucking desert because there's somewhere to desert too i can fucking hurt myself a little and then i'm over there with the women and the soup. However, if I'm in Nam, oh my God, forget about the snakes and the spiders and the foot-long centipedes crawling about and the ants. The ants, they always talk about the ants. Forget about you're sweaty every day, all day, and you haven't had a shower in God knows how long. Charlie's out there, all right? Charlie's out there alright you never know when you're going to step in a hole that's full of punji sticks covered in human shit
Starting point is 01:22:08 and you're going to lose your feet you never know when you're going to get gut shot out there and they're not going to realize that you're not dead they're just going to leave you behind and you're going to wake up and your intestines are just intestinal cavity is full of bullet ants or some shit Charlie's out there
Starting point is 01:22:24 and he's coming for you I'm not doing nothing now the World War I thing that trench warfare cavity is full of bullet ants or some shit charlie's out there and he's coming for you i'm not doing nom now the world war one thing that trench warfare everybody imagines the trench perhaps as a dry sort of trench the problem was there's a thing called trench foot which i don't think was even a thing before world war one they were like they invented trench foot they invented a new horrible thing to happen to people in world War I, I think, called Trench Foot. Let's see some pictures of Trench Foot. Oh, please no.
Starting point is 01:22:51 It's where your feet just stay wet for long periods of times, and they basically just rot off your goddamn body. Now, if that's not bad enough, you've got gas. Oh! Right? You've got mustard gas coming in, chlorine gas coming in, blinding you, scarring your esophagus and your lungs. Shell shock
Starting point is 01:23:11 is both synonymous with PTSD and an actual thing that happened because there was so much goddamn shelling during that war. You're stuck in this fighting position, looking at the enemy 300 yards away for years sometimes at a time people getting stuck in the barbed wire the depending on what side you're on like like like
Starting point is 01:23:30 if you're not facing the chemical attacks if you're a german then you never know when the brits are gonna tunnel up under your position and just blow you the fuck up i'm not doing that so i'm gonna take bastone and uh i'm definitely to get shot in the thigh meat on day one. Just as soon as they show me my foxhole, I'm going to wait until I can see the medic, and my sidearm is going to go off mistakenly. It's going to get your love handle. Oh, shucks. Ah, fucking Jerry's got me.
Starting point is 01:24:05 It's just a flesh wound, Kyle. Yeah, but I need my flesh. I'll see you in town. What's the soup of the day? What's the soup of the day? I'm going to go with Bastogne 2. Man, I just feel like it would be possible to stay warm. I've slept in very cold before,
Starting point is 01:24:24 and if I just get enough of the stuff, you know, collect some coats off the dead guys, you can make yourself a little heat cabin there. Vietnam, it just seems so inescapable. Also, maybe it's just because I'm American and we kind of romanticize World War II,
Starting point is 01:24:41 I believe in the cause. You know, you're there, Battle of Bastogne, trying to free a people from being wiped off the face of the earth vietnam what was the cause exactly prevent the spread of proxy war with the soviet union yeah built on lies you know and nah i'm not getting into it and world war one um what archduke of ferdinandand or something? Franz Ferdinand. Franz Ferdinand. Why is he my top priority again? There were a lot of treaties, and that triggered this country to start a war,
Starting point is 01:25:15 and then that triggered this country to come in and defend them, and that triggered another country to come in and attack them, and it just became a gigantic mess. Yeah, yeah. It's almost like a schoolyard fight where no one wants to participate they're all just need to somehow no it's like a hockey fight or a baseball fight where it's like all right clear the benches fucking omar beamed another guy let's go what i like about those baseball fights is like you can see like the guys who are really excited about it we're like let's go boys like hopping up ready to go and then you can see other guys on the team who are like yeah let me
Starting point is 01:25:47 grab my hat and a quick sip of water let me take my watch off the bat and uh all right let's oh it's already it's already scrums almost over i'll go over there and i'll grab the shirt of two of my teammates and go ah those basic fights are interesting i want to see one go ham And like fists be thrown But that seems to be more rare in baseball I imagine because the punishments are probably It's rare in hockey Well but I mean like you just get five for fighting
Starting point is 01:26:16 In hockey For two people But there's hardly ever Yeah I guess once a year. They don't do bench-clearing brawls anymore, but they do pair up into the point where they hardly have enough players for a game.
Starting point is 01:26:32 Yeah. Yeah, that's kind of fun. By the time the ninth fight is happening, you're 18 players down. They're like, well, I guess it's you and I. And the guy's like, yeah, I was hoping it wouldn't get this far too. Rock them, sock them for a bit.
Starting point is 01:26:45 Let's leave. Dude, if the Blues just for the rest of the season replaced their whole lineup with a bunch of 34-year-old guys who never made the show from the AHL who love throwing bombs, fucking do it. We can't lose any worse. That would be great. Or do a promotion where it's fan night. Mm-hmm.
Starting point is 01:27:06 Bring your gear. I just put that together. Fans playing at this point. Yeah, yeah. And whoever's seating in section A, seat number 37, you are the starting forward. I used to have that daydream. Today we know little Cassie Smith with her brain cancer has been traveling with the team on their road
Starting point is 01:27:30 trip and tonight Cassie will be playing center against the Boston Bruins. She's out there. Fucking Bergeron Dexter all the time. Did you ever see Pedro Martinez throw Don Zimmer to the fucking ground?
Starting point is 01:27:47 Oh, the old guy. Yes. So it's Yankees-Red Sox. One of the biggest rivalries in all of sports, certainly. And it seems like some of these guys legitimately hate each other. And I don't remember the exact lead-up to it, but players have been getting hit back and forth.
Starting point is 01:28:07 And I think I'm... Let's see here. I got it. How old is this event? Oh, shit. 15 years, maybe? Oh, so... Could be.
Starting point is 01:28:19 Let me see. I've got the moment when Don Zimmer decides to go after... Let's call Don Zimmer 65 to be kind, because he's probably 70. To interrupt a moment, somewhere around 50, there are two paths that men take. There's an athletic path where they sort of stay in shape, and they're going to be okay. And then there's the other path where they just get fatter and ruined. That's the one Don Zimmer chose. He looks like an old Porky the Pig.
Starting point is 01:28:49 He is not an athlete anymore. Meanwhile, Pedro Martinez was a badass motherfucker. Just an incredible pitcher and maybe not in his athletic prime, but certainly a lot closer to his prime than i'm gonna guess pedro was 30 32 here something like that i'm cute at 123 oh i've shown it to him four times no worries no grabs him by the two ears and throws him to the ground and he he's it i don't think his pull he wouldn't get any meps for this effort he let the guy fall on his own he mostly just guided his fall don zimmer got a few meps there
Starting point is 01:29:31 he fucking i bet his heart is what if now what do you think the fallout would have been if don zimmer has a heart attack right there or stroke and he fucking dies what do they lay on fucking pedro martinez for taking for taking don zimmer out of the game permanently that would be bad yeah i've talked a million times about how uh mick sorely was only partly responsible right he initiated a set of events that made the guy's head hit the ice and get really hurt um this guy would also be responsible like mick sorely was you know all he did is grab him by the ears and guide him to the ground. But if he took a header and had a heart attack or something went really wrong, then he caused that to happen, kind of.
Starting point is 01:30:13 Yeah, I don't know. I feel like he was coming right at me. Dude, so as an Eagles fan, Buddy Ryan was our coach for a while. And he had a body like Don zimmer which is to say not good and didn't realize he wasn't a tough guy he picked fights with more athletic coaches he wouldn't back down from players and it was just a constant embarrassment and they'd interview him afterwards he'd be like i think i was gonna win no you weren't. No, no. You were going to get ruined because you're old and fat and you just haven't kept up. Have some more chicken wings.
Starting point is 01:30:51 Yeah. You're 30 years older. You're not winning that. Yeah, well, Zimmer died in 2014 at the age of 83. Ah, that did it. That's what did it. Right there, Pedro. It goes all the way back to then.
Starting point is 01:31:04 It took 16 years to sink him, but it's his fault. Another Patreon question that I've been, I don't know, it's stuck in my head. If you had to start your YouTube slash media career today, do you think you would have reached the same heights? Fuck no. I didn't even ever reach a height, and there's no way I would. It depends, because in my case i feel like like what i did kind of i was kind of one of the first to do i'm aware that hickok was doing stuff before me but like his stuff isn't like what i did so like i feel like if this alternate universe i don't
Starting point is 01:31:38 think gun channels are as big in this alternate universe i i feel like you know i never did what i did and so i never spawned the dozen other guys who who also tried to do what i did and then eventually like went on to it to do it better and better and better like i feel like a lot of the gun channels that exist exist because of me um and i think that as i rose i i sort of the what do they say the tides all ships rising tide rises all boats. Something like that. Yeah, something like that.
Starting point is 01:32:07 I feel like I, so maybe, I feel like, you know, I feel like certainly nobody does goofy, ridiculous, over-the-top stuff with, you know, sometimes $100,000 budget. Like nobody's going to do that if I don't do it. I'm torn. So I want to do Kyle first. I felt like Kyle made videos and he was a step ahead of the gun world in terms of production value right so there were other people
Starting point is 01:32:35 doing guns and Kyle's first ones were not that high in production value right I remember one in particular where he's like everyone says my bullets are fake he shoots into a lake it goes pop pop pop it makes all these splashes which to me was neat and uh and that was really the core of the video like there wasn't a lot more than that i think that one's kind of different because like like there was a time when like freddy w was a was was uh already had like maybe a million subs at this point. And so everybody, gun stuff like what I was doing was equated to like Freddie W. And so I kept getting so many people saying that the guns weren't fucking real
Starting point is 01:33:14 or that there was a green screen because of like something about that camera that I was using at that time, something in the depth of field and also the fact that it was fall. It was like right about, it was like late October when I began filming a lot of those and the leaves were beautiful in Georgia. And so, and there's different kinds of trees and there's oranges and yellows. And then there's like, it looked pretty in my background. So pretty that you might think
Starting point is 01:33:40 it's just a downloaded green screen background from the internet. And I'd have to make occasionally these really low effort, ridiculous videos that are just like, all right, so this is an actual bullet. You look closely and it's going in an actual gun and bang! See, that was real. But I will, yeah, for sure. Like the average video in general was much lower effort because, you know, I wasn't making any money. You were one of the first guys, yeah,
Starting point is 01:34:08 to step it up in terms of production quality. So if FPS Russia came back today, I think he'd match the high production quality guys that are out there now. Kyle's still really good with ideas. You know, if I told Kyle I wanted to break out Woody's Lab, he would have a bunch of non-gun winner ideas. Oh, for sure. Let's make a loop-de-loop propane cannon
Starting point is 01:34:33 that shoots three-liter bottles that are soaked in kerosene. It's going to be great. You're literally going to shoot a three-liter bottle about 40 yards really fast in slow motion. You're going to see the propane do this loop-de-loop burn thing, and the kicker will be that the three liters on fire in the air, and it's going to light a target that is basically a shed filled with vaporized gasoline. The whole shed is going to explode.
Starting point is 01:34:56 That kind of thing. Kyle's got a million of those, right? So I think Kyle would still succeed. Me doing gaming stuff, man. I also was a step ahead of the game in gaming. Doing good production quality wasn't as hard back then, but I was one of the first people to figure out what mic for good and what gain was and stuff like that.
Starting point is 01:35:18 People didn't even have an audio interface. They just buy a snowball, plug it in, and not know about anything. I was HD early on, and it sounds lame like it's nothing, but yeah. It helped me that half my competition was using a dazzle or something, or that Hapog thing that was only halfway there. That advantage is gone. I couldn't do better in terms of production quality than the people that do it now.
Starting point is 01:35:43 And I don't know that I'm a better storyteller. I think I'd just be, at best, one of the crowd. I don't know what my trajectory would be like. Maybe it'd be the same, but what I did... Work ethic is important. And one of the things that you always leveraged and your biggest stride ever was that you leveraged that early
Starting point is 01:36:06 release thing and i feel like if you started now you'd be you'd be doing that all over again you'd be doing your best and and maybe like being more adult than most let's just say that would allow you to get in with like developers and such and be like hey look i'm an adult i'm not gonna break any street dates here i'm not gonna do x y and I'm not going to bad mouth you behind your back on social media. Let me get an early copy. And I've hit the ground running with all this content. What is it that you want to promote? Is it your new zombie mode? Is it your new blackout mode? What is it that we want to push out there? Is it the cod points? How about give me a code. It'll give them X, Y, and Z cod points. I'll have that out there on day one you could probably work a deal like that and then
Starting point is 01:36:48 you get the game early because i remember when black ops one came out and you had like five or six i don't know how many you actually had like loaded up but there were five or six there that like came out every 12 hours or something on release date each one of them was like holy shit that's a brand new thing nobody knows about and it's already like ready packaged bow on top hd quality well thought out commentary to the point no like fat on it and and ready to roll out and you were i remember one i was so if you play before the game's released everyone out there is really good right the kind of people who get a game before street date are really into Call of Duty. So I was struggling to get really good gameplays.
Starting point is 01:37:30 There was one gameplay I should thank. Wings, if you see this, thank you. I think I got a care package. Wings of Redemption had a thing that let him re-roll it. It turned into a chopper gunner. I went like 36 and 3 and it got a million views the day the game came out. And that was really like a nice thing. It was on Nuketown.
Starting point is 01:37:51 Yeah, it was on Nuketown. And people don't know, if you've forgotten, a chopper gunner on Nuketown is just fish in a barrel. Guaranteed 20 kills. There's somebody out there right now playing a chopper gunner on Nuketown. It's still in the game. Yeah, and I just went hog wild on it. still in the game you know yeah and i just it i went hog wild on it i got a good gameplay i think i put it up and you know either day came out of the day after and people just weren't seeing that everywhere so it was kind of cool um yeah a couple
Starting point is 01:38:15 cool things i would do but yeah like i said i worked hard i don't know i i look at like video game donkey i think his name is it's not and and he does a really good job sometimes i see people do videos and think like this is as good as anything i ever made but maybe i'd be part of a gang one thing that's definitely true now is like like i i would say that any of the guys who are like super talented they can start any point of the game they want and they would be very successful because i'm i'm finding people now who are like before this new cod came out they were completely unknown like maybe they had 50 000 modern time unknown 50 000 subs they earned over the course of five years or something like that but they're incredible at this new game and they're just leaps and bounds you know 10 000 subs a day and stuff like that you
Starting point is 01:39:03 know hitting a million subs like since the game has been released, essentially, because they're just so good. And like their names aren't occurring to me right now. That Korean guy that I've mentioned a couple times, man, I have a hard time listening to him. He's like, like, every time he gets a kill, he acts like he's just completely shocked. Oh, how am I doing this right now? I don't know what's happening. Oh, how is it? How am I still alive? still alive like like that's his commentary like throughout and like like i'm not shitting on that guy like he's doing really well and i'm glad he's doing really well but it's just not my cup of tea at all um but i'm seeing him do incredibly well i and i watched the gameplay i just turned the sound off it seems like gameplay
Starting point is 01:39:39 is more important now than it was whatever 10 years ago like there was a spot for an unexceptional gamer 10 years ago i don't know if they named the other guy who goes whatever 30 and 5 and people watch that i don't know i think those people play play blackout now i think that that's the way to go because if you can get 10 kills and win then you've achieved a good video right like like that's the that's the key. That's the thing that's nice about Blackout and that's what's fun about Battle Royale is you don't have to have this intense 10-minute session.
Starting point is 01:40:15 You can have a 30-minute session with like multiple one-minute intense parts in it. And it's almost like heavy weight lifting versus long distance running or something like that it's it's it's a different way to get the job done and and i feel like even if you're not quite as talented as a shroud or or or a summit like you can go in there and you can you can you'll have a good blackout game we i haven't played in a couple weeks but like we have a good blackout game. We, I haven't played in a couple of weeks, but like we have a good blackout game every night. You can win every so often.
Starting point is 01:40:46 Yeah. Especially if you're a personality, you might get aid, you know, guys who either don't want to kill you or just, you know, killing the other 40 while you're on the side or something. You know,
Starting point is 01:40:57 the guys who, if they just, if, if a pro or a cheater doesn't kill you, that's really helpful. Uh, you can't recognize people in the game you know it's there's no way to know who's who unless they're stream sniping you and those people are just
Starting point is 01:41:09 assholes trying to get you anyway uh it's hard i didn't want to call out dr disrespect has some fans cheaters even who just get 27 kills in a game but don't kill dr disrespect so that becomes uh have you seen that in Call of Duty? No, this was PUBG. Ah, yeah. See, it's very different than PUBG. That happened a lot. But COD is either, for whatever reason, maybe it's the
Starting point is 01:41:36 matchmaking or whatever, but it's more difficult to stream Snipe. It seems like it's harder to get into the game. And I could be wrong about this, but one of the unique things about PUBG, I think, is at the bottom of the screen there's like a a server id number that's unique to each game you're in and so you you can join that pre and the pregame lobby is this long spooling up type process three minutes four minutes sometimes and you can just join 315CB. Nope. Leave. Join 3184.
Starting point is 01:42:08 Nope. And you can get in the guy's game. And then you got your streaming monitor over here. Stream watch sniping monitor. Then you got your gaming monitor here. And you're just like, all right, he's jumping and going to the castle. And I'm going to castle too. And you can really fucking ruin somebody's gameplay and and it's it's a real shitty thing to do but but it's definitely people who it sucks it ruins the stream right like
Starting point is 01:42:32 if i can't interact with the people then that kind of blows which is the solution in quotes so i don't know it'd be interesting to see how well i could do nowadays what's cool is the top of the top always hit new heights, right? When the current, I don't know who's king of the world right now. I'll say KSI or something. When his star fades and the next kid comes along and takes his spot, they're going to be bigger than TV. They're going to be movie stars.
Starting point is 01:43:00 They already are bigger than TV in a lot of ways. People imagine cable TV being way bigger than tv in a lot of ways like people imagine like cable tv being way bigger than it is like when you see like uh the top rated news shows on cable and it's like hannity with three million rachel maddow with 2.8 million like you like take a step back and you think and it's like oh so people like pewdiepie don't just win these battles they wipe the floor with them like youtubers are getting views these people like they would kill for a reasonably big youtuber view uh total like their their viewership is either stagnating or tanking yeah it oh i didn't see that video sorry but yeah we can we can watch can watch this. I don't know if we should watch it or anything.
Starting point is 01:43:46 It's six minutes and 39 seconds long. I saw the title. I'm obviously not going to watch it during the show. Oh, you haven't seen this already, so you can't summarize it? No. You can read the title there if you want. And again, I don't know if we need to go into it too much, but
Starting point is 01:44:01 it was a related video for whatever reason to that Don Zimmer clip that we were watching i don't i i won't we have to mention the title at this point like we've alluded to it so uh a video made its way to kyle's attention and he put it in the skype chat and it's called white boy seven street betrays wings of redemption aka jordy jordan then admits to watching troll channels the thing like without watching the six minutes of it and i this is part of my personality i kind of like find a way where it's not that bad you know like like well it's a channel called leech of redemption painting it as this real scandalous thing so like you know maybe if you watch the the of it, it's not going to be that extreme.
Starting point is 01:44:45 Should we look? You know, it's six and a half minutes long. I don't know. It could be a real loser. What does it mean? Want to give it 45 seconds and see where it goes? We've got nothing but time. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:44:57 Are you guys ready? Sure. Ready, set, play. We got a bottle of wine. Boom. Man, I was whipping the Tesla in the blizzardizzard and holy moly i was proud of her why tesla cars are a bad idea you should never buy one elon musk has proved again and again he's got more money than brains granted i'm not trying to say he's a dumb person but he makes bad business choices and he's just got more money than he needs to do with so i i miss talking
Starting point is 01:45:26 to white boy i miss talking to all the podcast show guys like white boy is one of the nicest people you ever meet man i was whipping the tesla in the blizzard what does that mean the tesla in the blizzard he's driving a tesla literally in snow okay it tastes A taste of ass. All right. We're going to get into some randoms. Does it bother you that people bring up the classic days? No. Not at all. I kind of live in the past. So why would it bother me?
Starting point is 01:45:54 All right. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. All right. Wings and the Discord. Wings is Discord. Look here and everyone.
Starting point is 01:46:06 I want everyone to look here. I know what you're doing. And I have one thing to say about Wings of Redemption. I actually want to make a video on Wings of Redemption. I got one word. Tax exemption. Me and my boy. Wings of Redemption.
Starting point is 01:46:23 He's a big guy. Alright, I'm going to mute it during the audio. He has all these people dancing on his strings. He's trolling and controlling. This does not sound like betrayal to me. He has this community of people waiting for his every move. And I also wanted to make a channel called... I want to buy Wings of Redemption's channel and then steal people's clips who steal wings his
Starting point is 01:46:49 clips and then upload the stolen clips to wings channel that would mean my ideal business I had that safe business idea it's like what are they gonna accuse wings of stealing the content of I watched those fucking videos, dude. Of his own content? His videos are fucking... He did upload one of the troll videos once and they flagged it. And he got a copyright strike. Copy, copy, you're the retard SA because I called it out and no one called out where we're not landing.
Starting point is 01:47:18 So fuck you, man. Fuck you. Piché, puto. I don't know if this is going anywhere. Yes, Trump. Whatever you say, Trump. Probably not. The worst part about this is he's playing on console. Alright, should I team kill him? Team kill Wings? I need $30 PSN.
Starting point is 01:47:36 Oh, he's literally gonna team kill Wings. They're shooting me! Oh wait, that doesn't make sense. He's not playing with Wings. How do you know he's not playing with wings? He's on console. Oh, oh, unless wings is playing with wings. Listen, he's complimenting wings. So you guys are hip to like what's going on with PKA and what's going on with Kyle? I went to the subreddit and I see like, is the trial soon or some shit?
Starting point is 01:47:59 No, that was talking about you! Pick up Lord of the Rings, Liquid Richard. My teammates are gonna do absolutely anything that entire match. All right, what do you want? I'm not joining your fucking Discord, peasants. Fucking Liquid Richard fucking Discord. And Sean Ranklin. And Lord of the Rings. One thing, one thing.
Starting point is 01:48:24 He hasn't... He hasn't done what I call betraying him yet. This is the last... Oh, he's playing Liquid Richard! Shout out Sean Ranklin. Like, I'd be perfectly happy playing with another man's dick. I'm being serious. Oh, Jesus Christ!
Starting point is 01:48:44 I'm worried about the music now this is liquid richard this ain't copywritten i are you sure your album today the beat could be copywritten oh he makes we got copyright struck last pka on what uh we watched an nhl video of old lady shooting like in the middle of a closely covered wow that's ridiculous yeah all right that's probably enough of this i don't know where this is at yeah so it they're really ferocious nowadays more than you'd think yeah i don't know what that was but um but i i don't know if you've listened to Liquid Richard He's got The album just dropped
Starting point is 01:49:27 He made a whole album He made an album How many songs in this album in his LP Off the top of my head at least a dozen Foundry of Misery says That he is the new musical Liquid Richard Leader he's taken his role As the top guy
Starting point is 01:49:42 Foundry of Misery did that other song Mr. Big Guy Yeah I want to see Are these as high quality as Mr. Big Guy? No They like mix The Last Hoorah is the name of the album
Starting point is 01:49:58 It's 32 minutes This is the last Hoorah I feel for W wings so months ago i didn't feel for wings i felt like he made his bed and he was the villain in every story and he was just getting what came to him now it feels like he's the relentless victim of online bullying that he can't do anything right he hasn't done anything wrong in months and it's not slowing down. And he also can't leave the internet, right?
Starting point is 01:50:31 Like most people can just close the laptop, but this is where the money comes in. So he just gets attacked kind of personally for a living and you get paid, but it eats your soul out. I... Well, He's still doing well. He's been in a much better mood recently, right? Weight loss, the medication and everything. I don't watch his stream, so I have no idea.
Starting point is 01:50:53 You never know. Some days are good, some days are bad, it seems like. It looks like he's lost an insane amount of weight. I don't think it does. I think he's lost 75 pounds, maybe. I don't know. Those pictures on his Twitter make me think it looks like way more than 75.
Starting point is 01:51:11 I think he said his goal was to lose 100 by the end of the year, and he said he's nowhere near that. I don't think he's – I'm not good at estimating weight when it's guys outside the range you see every day. Yeah, like when you're at the cattle barn. You're like, is that an 800-pound heifer or a 700 pounder i don't know could be either one but with wings uh i well i don't i couldn't guess how many pounds he lost i can see the difference for sure oh yeah something happened so he had the surgery wasn't fake i was uh oh go ahead that's, go ahead. That's it. Go ahead. What were you going to say? Oh, I was, uh, I was thinking, I know we've done silly superpowers before, but I was trying
Starting point is 01:51:50 to think of superpowers that are actively not useful and how, like, you could still technically get into, like, Professor X's Academy on a technicality, but you'd be, like, the lower rung kid getting bullied by the fire and ice hand people. And a couple I was thinking of, uh, you guys jumped in with anything is that uh sticky hand fast growing facial hair just very fat well i thought it was uh you have invisibility but only when crossing the road professor sticky hands his hands are incredibly sticky and he could totally climb a wall with them the problem is they're always sticky so they're just disgusting all the time there's all kinds of refuse no women will have it like those things you would get for three tickets at
Starting point is 01:52:38 chucky cheese's again those hands that you sling and after one sling you're like oh we don't even have a cat like why would I want to hold this shit another one is you have the ability to fly but you still have to go through TSA before you can take off magnet man you're like magneto but you have no control over your powers
Starting point is 01:53:01 and so metal objects are constantly just you're like a walking you're always like dirty and dusty with like iron on you yeah constantly having things stuck to you kids are picking on you and in middle school by just sticking sticking fucking shit to your back all the time and you can't reach it because you're also overweight because of the depression because you can't get snacks off your hands? And so you have to eat them off? What about Deanna Troi's superpower, right? Where I can't really read your mind, but I can tell if you're stressed out.
Starting point is 01:53:32 Exactly. She's the worst fucking character. Who is that character you're talking about? Deanna Troi is from Star Trek. And Picard would be negotiating with the Romulans or something. And she's like, Picard, I can sense that he's nervous. Yeah, that's helpful. She's a telepath.
Starting point is 01:53:51 She's an empath. But whenever her powers could actually save the day, that's the day when he's blocking me somehow. It's like one of those mentalists when you've turned the tables on them and they're like, pick a number between one and five and you're like, one and a half. And they're like, ooh. Something's blocking my
Starting point is 01:54:14 powers. That number doesn't work with the bullshit game that I play with numbers. Cold reading that I'm doing. I'm hearing a ma. She was hearing a ma she was she's played by an actress called miriana certis i think and the only good thing about her is one there's a movie beforehand where she's topless you get to see them titties and two in the first season she's counselor cleavage okay just she bodysuit. And she's not great looking, but she's pretty.
Starting point is 01:54:47 And it's just Camel Toe Cleavage. Camel Toe Cleavage. I love watching HD Star Trek. I end up jerking off halfway through one of them. What's her name? Miriana Sirtis, I think. It's like M-I-R-I-A-N-A-S-I-R-T-I-S, maybe. Okay. Counselor Troy would get it if I'm wrong-I-R-T-I-S, maybe. Okay.
Starting point is 01:55:05 Counselor Troy would get it if I'm wrong about her actual name. I think that's it, though. Was I right about her name? Yes. Yeah. And I'm looking for the topless. Here you go. I'm finding her current pictures.
Starting point is 01:55:19 Oh, here she is. Yep. Got the long curly hair. Got some titties out. Now, if you want the best episode of her on Star Trek, it's the one where she and Dr. Beverly Crusher are doing yoga in these tight-fitting yoga onesies in some sort of holodeck program because you can't just...
Starting point is 01:55:39 You have to do yoga in a hologram, of course. No, we can't just go to our quarters and do it. It's the future. Is there a space explanation for it? Or is it just two hot women in spandex who need to go to the holodeck and test it? We're going to go to a Zen Buddhist garden
Starting point is 01:55:53 in Stratford. No, there's no explanation. Star Trek is amazing at exploiting their hot female actresses because they know their audience. It's a bunch of nerdy dudes. You go to Star Trek Enterprise, which is one of the newer ones as far as we're concerned, as far as release dates. That's the one with the card? No, that's Star Trek The Next Generation.
Starting point is 01:56:12 Enterprise was a prequel to all of the previous Star Treks. It's like the first ship that they're sending out, and they shouldn't even be sending it out. It's so junky and under-equipped, the galaxy that they're being exposed to. We're way behind technologically. We're really relying on the Vulcans to, like, give us engines and weaponry and that sort of thing. And the Vulcans look down on us like red-headed stepchildren, and they're always fucking talking bad about us behind our back. Anyway, they have the sonic shower all right now the sonic shower is how you get clean in the future apparently cool can't be can't be wasting water
Starting point is 01:56:51 so you just stand in this room naked and i guess sound waves clean you and sound waves fucking clean you and they always find a reason for jolene blaylock to get real dirty and jolene blaylock is one of the hottest fucking actresses they ever put in star trek she's got she's delicious all right she's got a big old ass she's got some nice titties she's got perfect fucking lips and i like that short haircut that they they put on her that she's she plays a vulcan in the show which is basically just a human being with some pointy ears and no fucking sense of humor. And she's always in the sonic shower,
Starting point is 01:57:30 usually with another dude. And the other dude will be like, oh, yeah, let me get your back in the sonic shower, which makes no sense at all. What do you do? Just be like, let me get your back. Oh! Just scream with her back. You got something behind your ear. Ah with their back you got something behind your ear ah okay i keep on it
Starting point is 01:57:48 this show was on the cw network and show that they would show about as much cleavage as you can possibly get away with and this is my favorite they'd show a little bit of ass cleavage all right as you're saying this it's playing like i found it on YouTube. And my favorite, they show some ass cleavage. He pulls down the back of her bikini bottom underwear and starts cleaning it somehow. Yeah, I'm going to get the top of that ass crack. I just want to run my finger in there. Well, you know, like the water would make the boobs nice and shiny and wet.
Starting point is 01:58:19 Is there like a sonic effect of like vibration? They're sweaty. It's like they're oiled up or something. Now she's doing the dude's legs and his back. It's got to be almost over. No, this is what Star Trek was about. That's what Star Trek's always been about. Like, it's not a new thing, like from the 2000s.
Starting point is 01:58:38 It wasn't new in the 90s. It was new in 1969 when fucking Kirk was riding around with bitches who were wearing nothing but aluminum foil and shit he's on this planet with this chick at one point a lot of times these chicks are so ditzy they border on mental retardation and that's i'm not saying that to be funny it's literally like wait a minute this is some sort of race of people who are like so simple minded that like this is just a slave girl with a 70 iq like he should i don't think he can legally fuck her but he's running around with her and just big they've all got like double d titties wrapped in aluminum foil with like cleavage everywhere and like lieutenant ohura who's a sexy black lady and was running the fucking communications on the ship,
Starting point is 01:59:25 she wore a miniskirt that is literally illegal. All right? Like, she had to wear bloomers underneath it because they were always within sight. You could always see her panties. It was a glorified belt. You always saw her panties because cheerleaders have longer skirts. Okay? What's her name?
Starting point is 01:59:44 Lieutenant Uhura.ura dude cheerleading is really fucked up like i i it's weird to be a father who's had a daughter in a cheerleader outfit i don't think she was ever really chilly but whatever she from time to time every girl growing up has one on and it's just like she's in a Are we all just going to sit here and pretend that This isn't a thing You can see their underwear And they jump around a lot If it was gymnastics you wouldn't have a problem
Starting point is 02:00:13 You ever see a wrestling singlet Jesus Christ It's cock and ball city all day long I think it's I wish wrestling switched to board shorts. They could be shirtless and it'd be less gay. Two dudes wrestling in board shorts is less gay than singlets.
Starting point is 02:00:32 They should go backwards. If I pinned Kyle down and slowly kissed his neck, it'd be almost as gay as professional wrestling. What would you have them wear? Oh, I'm just teasing. I know, like, there's, like, I've talked to wrestling friends, like, people who did in high school with, like, that proposition of, like, why don't you just wear board shorts and, like,
Starting point is 02:00:50 a tank top or no shirt at all or something? And they're, like, well, you know, there's, like, the pulling and the grasping and being able to get a handful of it, and it was, like, apparently it's much harder to regulate than I would think as a non-wrestler. You know, when I did wrestle, like, in middle school, I didn't wear a onesie.
Starting point is 02:01:06 We just wore athletic gear. So I've done a lot of grappling in board shorts. And I guess it's kind of a thing. You can stop them from advancing on you, but you can't grab a leg and control a leg by shorts. They can bend their knee anyway. I just think it'd be better. Put them in a rash guard and board shorts,
Starting point is 02:01:25 and it won't look so terrible. That's what I'd have them wear. I think it'd be better. Put them in a rash guard and board shorts, and it won't look so terrible. That's what I'd have them wear. I think it literally hurts wrestling. I think guys don't wrestle because of the singlet. I think people don't watch wrestling because of the singlet. I think that singlet is a big problem for the sport. I don't think people don't watch it. In all seriousness, I don't actually think wrestling is gay because they wear the singlet thing.
Starting point is 02:01:43 It makes sense from the sport perspective like you don't want to have like you want to be as like just your body as much as possible wrestling is clinging for life uh wrestling it got removed from the olympics and then there was this big uproar and they added it back to the olympics like but it's on a by hanging by a thread maybe for a time or two and uh they they need to make some changes to make wrestling more friendly. I think board shorts and a rash guard is one of them. We went from hot chicks in Star Trek to what kind of gear
Starting point is 02:02:11 wrestlers should wear, and I'm not going to allow it. We're going back. How do you like to see your opponent's genitals framed before you go in for a double leg? This is a list from Ranker.com of the hottest women on Star Trek. We don't have to go into the nerdy bits, but let's just scroll through them, right?
Starting point is 02:02:27 Let's not let this get nerdy. Alright, so what are you looking at right now? Are you looking at Ishara Yar yet? I went too far. I didn't realize we started at number six. This is very confusing to me. I think this is page two. If you go to the top, you can
Starting point is 02:02:43 go back. It says back to page one. Let me see. It's terribly formatted. Oh! I agree with their number one pick. Seven of nine, you put it number one. Seven of nine is the hottest. Seven of nine is super hot, I will give you that.
Starting point is 02:02:58 Did my video freeze for you? It did, yeah. But my issue with seven of nine is I can't tell how much of it is just the suit i think she has essentially a push-up bra going on there i i think she's i don't think that's all her um i've seen her like in in other gear and and that's it's almost all her it is so tight in the middle that she fainted from time to time on the corset yeah i like that and a padded top she's wearing it, though, and that makes her one of the hottest chicks. She's also
Starting point is 02:03:28 beautiful, well-spoken, intelligent, all that stuff. And I don't just mean her character. I mean the person. Also, and I'm going to have to reset my computer, fix my camera in a minute, but I just want to finish this. She was going to sex clubs with her politician husband and stuff. Now, if you scroll down, Carol Marcus doesn't count. She's in the 2009
Starting point is 02:03:44 Star Trek movie. Now, this is just ridiculous that they had her stripped down, Carol Marcus doesn't count. She's in the 2009 Star Trek movie. Now, this is just ridiculous that they had her stripped down before she went on a mission. Kyle, I think you're picking and choosing when it's okay to be in your panties and bra. I am. I think it is always okay to be. Yeah. So for people that don't know, what did she play? What was her role?
Starting point is 02:04:01 She was like a love interest of checkers. She was the daughter of the daughter of like of like the the admiral or something like that she like got on board as a science officer to like help them on the mission she it was it was it was a stretch it was a bit of a stretch and for whatever reason they had to change outfits and they did that on camera and it was gratuitous and it just was having said that i'm okay with gratuitous braun. Yeah, real hot. Now, scrolling down, my pick that I said a few minutes ago, Jolene Blaylock, who played T'Pol
Starting point is 02:04:29 in Star Trek Enterprise. Now, going to number four, I have a hard time getting on board. Ooh, I like her. I like her too, but like, you know, I don't think she's the fourth hottest lady in Star trek ever um i mean
Starting point is 02:04:47 you can scroll down and like i think tanya barrows is hotter and i don't even know who the fuck that is see that now there's there's my thing she i think might be the fourth hottest person with the significant role or even third hottest because the one didn't have a significant role the bra and panties chick but if you look at everyone who's ever cameoed on the show which is what some of these are gonna be then yeah they're gonna be hotter um scrolling down you've got uh a shower uh yeah now she's up there in my opinion because even though this is a bit of a grainy photo you can still see the camel toe that's how much camel toe there was even in this grainy fucking cell phone picture of a of a tube
Starting point is 02:05:32 tv you can still see the fucking camel toe on this lady it was just pussy lips all day long right in commander data space if wharf had been there he'd have fucking he started growling or something and he'd have had to grab that big juicy camel toe he'd have been flaring his nostrils i smell your estrus like he'd have been getting into it that's a long camel that's like the like looking at a goose bill from the side i want how long that is now number seven droxine this is classic start original star trek the series just titty bitch. There were a dozen ladies who wore pretty much the same
Starting point is 02:06:10 outfit. It was just a bikini. A space bikini with just some big old titties just everywhere. And this is actually one of the classier ones. Who's Canola? Do you remember her? She was a guest star on the next game. She's a what's that fucking species of people? she was a guest star on the next generation yeah she she's a um what's that fucking species of people she was a um a trill i want to say dax i'm a little mixed up like
Starting point is 02:06:34 dax dax dax was the lady's name um well it was the name of the worm that lived inside of her okay she was jedzia dax but there had been several other dax symbiotes uh it doesn't matter this is incredibly i'm starting to run through these people yeah yeah yeah and then uhura after her and then they put robin lefleur on there and they yeah they spell it leffler like she's not it's just ashley judd on star trek diana troy a lot of people thought she was hot she was salivate not me rough looking rough looking without that makeup i bet she looks like a bull junkyard dog she just it was all about that that that she was the hottest chick on the show because she was like the only like of age young lady on the show and she's on the bridge wearing that titty shirt.
Starting point is 02:07:25 That's the thing. A lot of guys like the curvy women, and I added finium, that there are lots of ways to be hot now, and I think that that's cool. But the way that she's hot, the, you know, I'd be even hotter if I weighed 15 pounds less is not my cup of tea. I'm scrolling through the rest of them, and there's really nothing else. Terry Hatcher was a guest star at one point. She's gorgeous there. That's, like, prime else. Terry Hatcher was a guest star at one point. She's gorgeous there.
Starting point is 02:07:45 That's like prime time, Terry Hatcher. I agree with that. Kira from Deep Space Nine, I always thought was very hot. Hotter than Jed Zia. I don't know. I'm scrolling through looking for anything. I'm not finding where you are. Yeah, this list keeps going.
Starting point is 02:08:02 I'm at number 27 at this point. It's absurd. I'm this list keeps going. I'm at number 27 at this point. Like, it's absurd. I'm really looking for... Are they just going to rank all the women that have ever been on the show? Dude, some of these women. Beverly Crusher. Number 68, Space Lunchwoman.
Starting point is 02:08:16 Not good. See, some of these are getting overranked because they had significant roles, I think. Ah! Scroll down to number 53. There's genuinely 53. No, no, no. I swear to God. 53 is the
Starting point is 02:08:32 lady I was describing a minute ago who had the baked potato titties. Potato tits? The aluminum foil wrapped titties. It's like Jiffy Pop? Yeah, it's literally like an aluminum foil bikini she's wearing. Now, this calls into mind.
Starting point is 02:08:50 I just got to Tasha Yar, Denise Crosby. She was way hotter than Beverly Crusher. I like the redheads, man. I would prefer Beverly. If I had to actually choose, I think I'd pick season two Beverly Crusher. Well, then this woman you're talking about, 53, Angelique Pettyjohn, totally hotter than Beverly Crusher. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 02:09:15 But she's like 30 places lower because she didn't have a big role. So that's the thing. Kyle, we need you to fix your video. Everybody's all. I'm going to have to reset, and hopefully it comes back right away all right so uh i had something to jump to not a not a big topic just uh i uh i mean this is something that everybody goes through like when you become an adult and you do something that you did as a kid but you'd never done as an adult and you either realize like well this sucks this isn't as much fun like or you're like this is awesome and i went to dave and busters for the first time
Starting point is 02:09:49 as an adult the other day and you remember going as a kid to dave and busters where it was like you know you get your power card and it was like all right taylor you got fucking 50 points or however many points it is i'd like walk around to be looking at it like 6.8 points am i am i gonna burn almost 12 percent of what i have on this game no no taylor be smart go play something better and i you know still found myself doing that like uh that habit of going around and like swiping it and then like when i ran out of points like i had like an epiphany where it's like i've got a beer in my hand i'm a grown-up i can get as many points as i want and so i like went over there and like swiped on another like
Starting point is 02:10:30 50 of points and me and my girl were having a ton of fun it was like one of those things that you don't think about as as a child but as an adult it was so cool to go around dave and busters and just load up with as many power points as i want spend as much time playing on the games that i wanted. It was I don't know. It was a silly little thing but it was neat because I'd never experienced Dave and Buster's that way. I'd only ever experienced it rationing my points because my parents gave me a finite amount.
Starting point is 02:10:54 You must have been to a better Dave and Buster's because I go to Dave and Buster's even semi-recently, 10 years ago or something. And it's like, huh! Video games have advanced a lot since Dave and and busters were a thing this is a modern day duck hunt that sucks like that's not even a good game and you want a lot of them are you want four dollars for this for for like duck hunt get out of here they had
Starting point is 02:11:19 one cool like vr kind of thing where it was of course jurassic park where they like sit you in like a four like if kyle or you or someone who had had real vr stuff tried it on you'd be like this is so lame but i've never done it so it was really neat to me i've never you just sit in this chair like in a row of four and you put the headset on and uh yeah i think it was a vibe actually yeah it froze again but give it no but it's a good look so let's write it out for you you look fine i think it was a vibe and I put it on, and immediately you're immersed in the dinosaur world, and you have the gun thing, and the game must have
Starting point is 02:11:49 stressed ten different times where it was like, now when the dinosaurs run past you, use your scanners to scan the dinosaurs. You are not killing any dinosaurs, you're scanning them into the database. And it was, that kind of ruined it, because I wasn't having fun scanning the dinosaurs. I scanning them into the database and it was like that kind of
Starting point is 02:12:05 ruined it because i don't i wasn't having fun scanning the dinosaur i wanted to kill the dinosaurs or at least give me a tranq gun so i could pretend but uh overall vr very neat if i once it once that gets down to consumer price is more my level i'll give it a go ah yeah i've been playing with colin lately Colin has a gaming PC. You guys should see... I don't know if I can get his keyboard over here. Alright, I will try for the audience anyway to show off Colin's legit gaming keyboard. Blue cherries.
Starting point is 02:12:37 It's good. But yeah, so we've been playing Left 4 Dead lately. It's funny. The first moment Colin played Left 4 Dead, I was very excited and impressed with how good he was. Alright, Kyle. It's funny. The first moment Colin played Left 4 Dead, I was very excited and impressed with how good he was. All right, Kyle. Game's back.
Starting point is 02:12:54 So Colin played Minecraft a lot. So instantly, he's like running backwards, jumping, crouching. He's WASD proficient. And there were a few other things to pick up too. Oh, thanks, baby. So there were a few other things to pick up too oh thanks baby so there were a few other things to pick up too like you know reloading and opening doors and that was all no trouble to him so i thought i just spilled oh no i wish i had his camera right now for some reason i don't what did he do tell me he spilled his coffee on his desk. Oh, no.
Starting point is 02:13:26 That really sucks. All right. Can you guys carry the show for a bit? I'm going to clean up my coffee. And if Kyle freezes, it's all me. Oh. The Taylor Show. The Taylor Show. Yeah.
Starting point is 02:13:38 I was talking to Woody about, well, the Dave and Buster's thing is done. I don't have anywhere else to go with that. Yeah, it's a garbage place. Oh, i thought it was fun no that's okay were you drinking yeah there you go yeah like the only thing that makes david busters fun is getting fucking wasted and then going to shoot some basketball or some some ski ball with your friends and laughing about how bad you are at it. And like, I remember this. We were kids and we'd do this shit. Now we're adults and we're wasted.
Starting point is 02:14:09 Look at all these tickets I have. Look at all these tickets. I don't even care. You know they don't even do tickets anymore? Like, I was expecting to get tickets. You load the tickets onto the card. Yeah, it's more environmentally friendly. It was really not as much fun for me, frankly. I have a Dave & Buster's card somewhere loaded up with like thousands of points because I- I- my uh
Starting point is 02:14:30 We used to go. We used to go and I would always get some faggy drink. It would be like red, white, and blue like literally like like of like- crazy- It's like shit. No, no the ice in the drink would be like red- crazy it's like shit no no the ice in the drink would be like red like like american flag ice and then they just soak it all in rum i guess i don't know i don't know what it even was but one of those and you're having a lot of fun at the you know walking dead game it was like a tall boy too it was it was like as big as one of those really tall beers it's like 16 or 18 ounces or something like that but it was like a powerful mixed drink and it was all that silly ice and stuff. It was all sugary and, you know,
Starting point is 02:15:07 I'd get plastered on about two of those bad boys and go fucking play the old Terminator 2 video game. Dun-dun-dun-dun-dun. You've got the big gun to actually hold. I never really went for the ticket games as much. I like the shooting games and the
Starting point is 02:15:24 fun aim games, you know? Even in Chuck E. Cheese, I was like i like the shooting games and like the fun aim games you know yeah even at chucky cheese i was like that like i'd i'd try and like go you remember as a kid going into chucky cheese with like some resolve at a friend's birthday party where it's like you know what taylor you're eight now and it's about time you started earning your keep so you're gonna get that inflatable shark and you're gonna need a thousand twelve hundred or a thousand five hundred tickets to do it and so then like you'd spend the first half hour doing those shitty hit the light when it gets there to win 200 tickets and then when you're like almost out of coins you're like fuck this like i can i can guilt you know my parents into buying me that remember they'd have that um like
Starting point is 02:15:57 a playstation 2 up there on the wall and when you got there you would aspire to get 20 000 fucking tickets somehow and get that PlayStation 2. You're like, how badass would it be if I won a PlayStation 2? And you'd play like $40 worth of quarters, like multiple rolls of quarters. And you'd be like, I got 800 tickets. What does that buy me? And they're like, nothing, nothing. Come back next time.
Starting point is 02:16:21 It's like an eraser, one of those erasers you stick on the back of a pencil or like a drink koozie or something garbage like that. It's like an eraser. One of those erasers you just stick on the back of a pencil. Or like a drink koozie or something garbage like that. It was such a scam. Yeah. Cloth rings. Rubber poppers. Chinese finger traps.
Starting point is 02:16:36 Sticky hands. Those frogs that you push down on and they flip up. All the shit. All the trash. The erasers that look like little people. You know the game where you just dunk quarters into it as many as you want, as fast as you want, and it continually has that arm that pushes the huge pile of quarters toward the edge?
Starting point is 02:16:55 And it never quite makes it. It never quite makes it, but you have to do everything in your power not to fucking shake the shit out of that machine and get that pile of like $100 worth of quarters to just rain down because you know it'd be satisfying as fuck. And it's money. It's not tickets. It's not
Starting point is 02:17:11 gummy bears. It's fucking money in there. You know what happens if you shake those? An alarm goes off. You know how I learned? Because I must have been like 10 and I was in the same thought process. And just shake it. A lot of them tumble down. A little alarm goes off.
Starting point is 02:17:29 And nobody working there gives a fuck. And so you're fine. The alarm went off on me on the basketball game. We've all cheated at the basketball game and skee-ball. It just didn't feel wrong to cheat at the basketball game. So I'm just climbing into the machine, essentially. If I tumble in, god knows what happens i end
Starting point is 02:17:45 up like appear foolish like cramped up in some sort of ball holding facility down below or something but i'm just like it was like i it was like that part in mission impossible one where tom cruise is like dangling inches below the pressure sensitive floor it was a ridiculous alarm to safeguard 30 paper tickets it just it seemed like over it's to safeguard the you know 75 of coins in there ah i know it was like a laser that you broke when you went too far into the machine and i was just shooting baskets you know oh just meaning they're not protecting the tickets they had to be they were trying to keep me from getting that high score they did not want you to get that ps2 that's what it was like when you didn't have the like math knowledge to put it all together and you'd spend like 10 minutes like you said
Starting point is 02:18:39 getting as many tickets as possible like the difference between like i got 200 and i need 40 000 like as a kid you're like this i don't even know i could play this forever i'll never get that high or you're like you know if i did this for every day that my parents will bring me here and pay 70 dollars what was the thing that like maybe you'd go out with your parents somewhere and you'd be driving home and you would beg them to like oh before we before we come home, we're right next to the fireworks store. Can we stop and get some fireworks? Can I have fireworks? Was there anything like that for you?
Starting point is 02:19:13 Because for me, it literally was fireworks. Like we would drive into South Carolina for dinner because that was like the closest like big city that had like, you know, Outback Steakhouse like like a mall and movies and stuff so we'd go out as a family and like have dinner and go to the movies and maybe stop by the mall and on the way back i'm just like can we please please go to the firework store and it'd be like what happened last time i i said i set a fire and what and who had to put it out you did that's right whenever you learn to put out fires we'll go to the firework store or it'd be like what'd you do last time i put m80s in beer bottles and and threw them and what happened glass got in the yard and what happened you drove over the glass and you popped the tire on your truck. And who had to get a new tire?
Starting point is 02:20:08 Well, you did because I'm an eight-year-old child and I don't have a job. If they paid me to put M80s in glass bottles, I would have contributed. Like that was the big one for me. And occasionally, like maybe one out of ten trips. Yeah. All right. You know. Yeah, let's go to the fireworks store. Sure. You know and i'd be like how much do i get to spend and it
Starting point is 02:20:30 get 25 for the stuff and i'd be like can i get 30 worth of stuff because then i can get this this this and this now all of a sudden those that my lack of math skills at the ticket booth at Dave & Buster's, now I'm fucking a perfect mind, and I'm drawing on glass backwards to figure out the right amount of fireworks I can get for $28.17 or something. I've already factored in South Carolina sales tax. I know what's going on. And I would come— You came to getting fireworks in Texas.
Starting point is 02:21:03 I'm literally researching. going on and i would come came to getting fireworks and i'm literally researching like like like well it seems to me that there's a maximum load that south carolinians can even put into a single firecracker so why would i buy this thing that's like 20 fireworks that are when i could get this one that's 80 this is four times for the same amount of money so i'd get these tiny little firecrackers that look like the one you so i'd get these tiny little firecrackers that look like the you know you buy the big bundle of firecrackers that they're all like tied together well they sell those individually like each of the each of the ones that go in the bundles except they've got like that green cannon fuse that burns slowly now as kids what we do what
Starting point is 02:21:40 we do is we disassemble one of the big bundles of firecrackers and they have these little paper fuses that are literally just like Chinese paper with black powder in them. So when you light them, the fuse is .5 seconds. It's like, boom! So you have to light it and throw it. Light it and throw it. And occasionally it'd go off
Starting point is 02:22:00 in your hand and it'd blacken your fingers and it'd sting like a motherfucker. Well, they sell these other ones that have the green cannon fuse i love those you got like 50 of them in a package for like eight fucking dollars and those are the ones i'd put in the beer bottles or under the ice in the winter or i'd like time to our i time i'd like tape them to a rock light them and throw them in the pond and so much fun to like do ridiculous or we tape them to a rock, light them, and throw them in the pond. So much fun to do ridiculous... Or we'd tape them onto arrows and light them, shoot them at bee nests and stuff like that.
Starting point is 02:22:31 We'd get creative, because it's not enough to just throw a firecracker. We'd have Roman candle wars, bottle rocket wars, everything, and then plus the word war, throwing the things at each other, and just generally starting fires. Those were just not good ideas. Paint each other, and just generally starting fires. Paintball mask, and you're good to go. You don't want to get hit in the face with one.
Starting point is 02:22:51 I was always careful with my eyeballs. Didn't want to lose my peepers. So what was it for you? Was there anything like that where you were like, please stop at Toys R Us? Toys R Us, for sure. I always wanted toys. But if I could tell it wasn't going to be a toy day, like I did like reading, and I knew
Starting point is 02:23:07 that if I requested like, oh, can we stop at Borders? I want to get a book, or a book or two or something. When I went in there, I knew I could pick out whatever book I wanted. So I'd go get a book of military history with all the cool pictures, and she had
Starting point is 02:23:23 explaining all the weapons from everywhere and all the arrows. I like the Guinness World Record books. I could get the Guinness World Record books and be like, how on earth are that guy's fingernails like that? I swear to God, that's amazing. The fingernail guy. Always one of the cool ones. Dude, the thing on Jackass that makes me gag
Starting point is 02:23:40 I think more than anything on Jackass is when they're like, we went to India and we didn't really know how to do Krishna or whatever and so it's just him standing there with a bunch of Indian models behind him and he just goes it's a Miller time
Starting point is 02:23:54 Miller light on his fingernails and you watch as this frothy mixture of light Miller beer goes down his fingernails and Steve-O's just drinking it off the bottom and it makes me gag. Like, oh, that's the nastiest thing I've ever done.
Starting point is 02:24:11 And he vomits in front of all of the, he vomits in front of all those ladies. The paper cuts, I always say, we've talked about this before, but the paper cuts are the worst. That's not gross, though. That's just cringey, you know. Paper cuts? Yeah, but they're not gross. It's just like, ooh, that smart cuts yeah but they're not gross it's just like a oh that's smarts like whereas the other one it's painful but i'm saying i'd rather get rather than drink
Starting point is 02:24:30 the beer off of that guy's fingernails i would drink the beer before the paper cuts i would get in i might even get into that shitty porta potty i think i would get into the shitty porta potty before before the paper cut no dude when you approached in that wave, that perimeter of smell, that stank air hit you, like... Do you remember the paper cut scene? They use a manila envelope. One of the big ones. Like you're sending fucking your taxes
Starting point is 02:24:56 on yourself. He opens his mouth and he goes, I think we've talked about this before. We did. We did. It's awful, though. That's the worst thing I've ever seen on Jackass. Even when the guy stuck his dick through the wall and the snake bit it, I might do that. That was more silly. It was a little snake.
Starting point is 02:25:12 It's a little snake. It's a little dick. My mom watches this show, and after I spilled my coffee, my first thought was like, if my mom was here, she'd kick my ass. I wonder if her first thought was like if my mom was here she'd kick my ass i wonder if her first thought after watching the coffee spill was like someone better beat that guy he'll just do it
Starting point is 02:25:32 again man that's sad that your first thought in your own palatial home is oh she'd beat my ass oops yeah that's what you should. Did you get anything ruined or pretty fine still? No, it's cleaner than before. We got some Clorox wipes in here, some paper towels. Got a sippy cup this time around. We're going to be all right. I'm going to name a couple things, and you guys are going to tell me the best and the worst of those things.
Starting point is 02:26:02 If you have your own ideas for best or worst things, let me know. Go on. So best or worst. Meats. Steak. Filet mignon. Although you guys said, what, lamb is better than steak? Lamb's underrated.
Starting point is 02:26:16 Lamb is better than beef. But a good steak is better than lamb chops. Okay. is better than lamb chops. I've got a Kobe Wagyu New York Strip in my freezer right now that I paid $75 for. Very excited to
Starting point is 02:26:32 eat that steak. It's small. It's tiny. But it's going to be delicious. It's going to melt in my mouth. It's going to be great. We used to have filet mignon. It was expensive to me because it was like $35. And our supplier dried up. Well, no wonder they're selling it for...
Starting point is 02:26:47 What's the worst meat? Shrimp. Shrimp, really? I'm not with you on shrimp. Worst meat. I just love all meats. This is hard for me. Goat is good. Raccoon.
Starting point is 02:27:04 People say venison is bad. I've never had that. Oh, I like venison. Oh, probably like tilapia. Like some bland fish that only has the flavor that you cook into it. You know what I was going to, lobster is overrated. Now, I like lobster. It's really halfway just a butter shovel, if I'm honest.
Starting point is 02:27:21 But lobster itself doesn't bring a lot to the party. I like its consistency. its texture is pretty good but um yeah lobster is really a it's not a king of meat yeah it's not that great yeah i'm not a fan of uh shrimp that's uh obviously beef worst those fish that suck what's uh the best and worst sex positions? To give you a second to think, my worst would be standing in the shower. That is a good one. And best would be doggy.
Starting point is 02:27:56 I want some sort of on the side, like lying on our side in bed doggy. Oh, lazy fucking. That's a good one too i like that where you're on your side and you just have to work like half your body yes it's it's it's it's very easy but you're getting all of the benefits of doggy and you can really get some leverage in and you can grab stuff from that position and you can choke or pull hair or whatever you want to do
Starting point is 02:28:21 fish hook you get the fish hook can you imagine that if you were like now be forewarned i'm a rough lover and then you get in there oh there's an elbow to the back is it safe is it safe yeah what i'll call a big spoon i I think Kyle is describing, is really good. A variation on that where you're kind of like an X is also really good. But I was going to pick on Bottom. I know it's a bit of classic, just cowgirl.
Starting point is 02:28:54 But, you know, the view is one to be appreciated. I like watching the bouncy boobs in the Bottom show as well. It's all good to me. It's pretty lazy. I think I like that, perhaps. Totally. Yeah. And I guess one of the things that I find really erotic is her enthusiasm.
Starting point is 02:29:17 So when she's on top, that's kind of assured. Whereas in a lot of other positions, if she's just the receiver, that doesn't ooze enthusiasm to me and what would the worst one be standing in the shower is hard to beat standing in the pool is the same damn thing there's a three second period between starting standing shower sex and when you think
Starting point is 02:29:39 how much longer do I have to do this before we can go somewhere comfortable like immediately it's not fun for more than a minute at most how much longer do I have to do this before we can go somewhere comfortable? Like immediately, you know, it's not fun for more than a minute at most. Yeah. I don't want to get a slip.
Starting point is 02:29:50 You're stressed out. This is the lovely woman who just brought me my second coffee and didn't beat me once that I'm going to talk. A lot of it has to do with lube on entry. You know, like if, if, if she's three quarters of the way there in bed, you can just kind of, I don't know, smear it around or so and make it good. Three quarters of the way there in bed, you can just kind of, I don't know, smear it around or so and make it good.
Starting point is 02:30:08 Three quarters of the way there. Yeah. You've never done that with the head? If that is the case in the pool, it doesn't get better from there. Yeah. I've never had hot tub sex. Oh, I nearly died having hot tub sex, but I imagine that would be a way to get terrible diseases. I literally almost died having hot tub sex one time.
Starting point is 02:30:30 I started talking to this girl online. She lived in Nashville, and so Gatlinburg, Tennessee was like two and a half hours from me and maybe two, two and a half hours from her, something like that. It was kind of in the middle. And Gatlinburg, Tennessee, in case you don't know, is kind of a vacation spot. It's really pretty. It's in the Smoky Mountains of Tennessee. And I was like, yeah, let's just meet up this weekend,
Starting point is 02:30:50 go to Gatlinburg or whatever. And we did. And I rented this cabin, and we'd been having a whole bunch of sex. You know, we just, like, met each other, and we're there to hook up, and we're spending the weekend together. And that night, I got the perfect trifecta to make me almost die she i want to say that she was on top whatever i was doing was strenuous i think we we changed we tried a couple positions but we ended up doing some sort of like doggy thing but up to our like
Starting point is 02:31:19 chest in the hot tub water so we're being boiled at 103 degrees and i've taken viagra and and i've had a few drinks i what a bad combination i'm going at it hard all right i'm really getting after it and i realize that i'm getting like lightheaded and out of breath and not out of breath and like like you know your own cardio even if you don't have good cardio. It's sort of like a tachometer on a car. You can feel yourself getting to the red line. And you know where that is. And you can back off.
Starting point is 02:31:54 You can go back down to 4000 RPM or whatever. I seem to have gone from 2000 RPM. To like 9000 RPM. On a Yamaha R1. Really quickly. I went from. Vroom vroom vroom. And I'm just like like literally i can't speak i'm like oh something's wrong something's wrong something's
Starting point is 02:32:13 wrong i gotta get out and she's a nurse and she and so like i i stagger out of the hot tub and it's like cold as fuck outside we're like it's an outdoors hot tub and it's like cold as fuck outside where we're like it's an outdoors hot tub and i'm like something's wrong something i can i can't talk i'm so out of breath literally i feel like i would have had a stroke or a heart attack if i had like tried to push through it i would have definitely gone unconscious like like something about like i think it was a blood pressure issue but something probably with the viagrara. It was the Viagra, the alcohol, and the very hot hot tub combined with that much physical activity. Did you fall over once you got out? I was staggering.
Starting point is 02:32:54 I was staggering. Like, I didn't hit the floor, but I was, like, staggering trying to find... I didn't leave... You know, when you get out of a hot tub, you immediately, like, dry completely off and, like, put your sandals on or whatever. No. I, like, stagger into the house naked, fl like getting toward like an ottoman so i can sit and dry the cold air wasn't like an instant cure that's how i imagine it no i was i felt like ill like i can't even explain the level of exhaustion it wasn't close i i had a similar thing with
Starting point is 02:33:22 jackie uh i was a lifeguard. So I'm really fit, right? This is the lifeguard picture version of me. And Jackie came and she used to bring me lunch at the lifeguard stand all the time. It was a nice supportive thing. And we go back. This hotel would let the lifeguards use like the shower and facilities and we could get water and whatever. So they had a sauna and one of us had the brilliant idea that we should just you know duck aside a little bit
Starting point is 02:33:50 before the crowds build and have sex in the sauna whoa that's hot that is super hot there's like a whole genre of porn like a sauna in here do they know it's that hot and it's it's like super dry like you touch the wood and it just like sucks the water out of you it's super duper crazy dry and i want to say like a couple minutes into it three minutes into it i think we're both thinking nah but neither of us is like we should just stop and not finish like that's that just didn't seem to be an option on the menu so uh powered through and yeah i guess felt good about it in the end yeah that was nearly died doing that i i remember it well i guess i didn't think about it i really really liked fucking off at work especially like early in my career literally fucking at work is hard to
Starting point is 02:34:44 beat um there were times when I would surf. The waves were so big and dangerous that they would put a guard out there in the surfing crowd just in case shit went down. And I'm like, this is the closest to a professional surfer I will ever be. I'm earning like $7,000, possibly $8,500
Starting point is 02:35:00 an hour doing this. And I just got a big charge out of it. Before you continue, I just want to remind everyone that this episode of PK is sponsored by our friends over at Squarespace. Whether you need a domain website or online store, make your next move with Squarespace.
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Starting point is 02:37:34 that all the time. None of us ever have bad breath. And I'll speak for Kyle and Woody. If you ever see any of us in public, come over, put your nose directly in our mouths, and you won't smell a thing. And their toothpaste, fantastic as well. I like it was a whiskey bottle. Get it in there.
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Starting point is 02:38:12 thinking i want to get away from this person and you don't want to be that person like you don't want to be the person standing there trying to hit on a girl thinking you're doing all right but really she's just thinking oh my god this guy smells like trash i cannot wait to get away and then make fun of him to my friends you'll never succeed at hitting on a girl with bad breath. Yep, exactly. And Smart Mouth has got you covered. It's a showstopper. Check it out on Amazon.
Starting point is 02:38:32 All right. I had something else I wanted to jump to, but I want to wait a while to get back. Top and bottom rated things? Did we do a little? I think I cleaned for a while. I don't know where that went. We did meats and sex positions. I was going to do candies and holes on a while. I don't know where that went. We did meats and sex positions. I was going to do
Starting point is 02:38:45 candies and holes on a woman. I thought I'd go two very disparate angles on that one. We'll start with candy then. Reese's is the number one candy. That's not an opinion. It's a fact. The worst candies are good in plenty.
Starting point is 02:39:03 The best candy is a Snickers. There's a reason it's been fact and the worst candies are good and plenty okay the best candy is a snickers there's a reason it's been around so long and the worst candy wow good and plenty is good yeah they're so terrible like that's the only thing that was stocked in stores in 1930 it's like are these mike and ike's oh no they're not the mike and ike's oh they're they're mike and ike's? Oh, no. They're not the Mike and Ike's. They're Mike and Ike and Boster's. These are the worst candies. They're like Frank and Ike's. Worst candy might be worse than good and plenty's.
Starting point is 02:39:33 What is the name of it? Hold on. I'm going to come up with it. Bottle caps? It is Bamboozled Jelly Beans. Are you familiar with these? Okay, so Bamboozled jelly beans. Are you familiar with these? No, I haven't looked at those. Okay.
Starting point is 02:39:47 So bamboozled jelly beans, it's kind of a game. You spin it and you choose a color. And let's say it's white. It's either going to be vanilla or sour milk. It could be green, right? This might be lime. It might be lawn clippings. Could be anyone's guess.
Starting point is 02:40:03 Clippings. There's barf there's there are some awful awful bamboozled flavors and if you come over my son will really want to play it with you it's like uh i never ate them but i remember when these were big those harry potter jelly beans where like they tasted like weird shit like grass or stuff and i never understood my friends eating them like i was never in the harry potter's that might be why but they'd be like oh i got the look at like the fucking you know reference sheet like i got the one that tastes like uh my dad's ass it's like oh this is this is terrible and i'm like why are you guys eating that you know they sell like jelly
Starting point is 02:40:38 belly makes good jelly beans well jelly beans on their own are really not that's what i like most dislike most about reagan if he was gonna have have candy on his desk, you're the president. Don't be a bitch. Don't get jelly beans. Put some Snickers in there. Put some little mini Milky Ways. Some little Twix. A little Reese's peanut butter cookie.
Starting point is 02:40:56 Oh, you know what I just like about it? I can run through flavors. I think it's interesting. Barf, buttered popcorn, chocolate pudding, juicy pear, moldy cheese stinky socks toothpaste berry blue canned dog food coconut lawn clippings peach spoiled milk tutti frutti's boogers caramel corn dead fish lime rotten egg strawberry banana smoothie so you look at it and you're like i don't know what it's gonna be either caramel corn or dead fish. You know something about candy that makes me irrationally frustrated, like upset, is when, like, if people call it Reese's instead of Reese's,
Starting point is 02:41:32 that's fine. You can call it Reese's and be an idiot. But when people go, I love Reese's Pieces, it's like, even if it's called Reese's, it doesn't change the word pieces. It doesn't become Reese's Pieces. It would be Reese's Pieces. But it makes more sense to just be Reese's Pieces. Right?
Starting point is 02:41:52 That's why they had it said that way. I think I said Reese's Pieces as a child, though. Yeah, I know. But I remember there was this guy. If Taylor was my dad, he would have beaten me. I remember I was like seven in first grade. We'd all gotten our Halloween candy. And this girl was like,
Starting point is 02:42:05 oh, who wants to trade their Reese's Pieces to me? And that must have been the first time in my life I formulated the word, what a retard, in my head. I was like, it's clearly Reese's. Are you doing best and worst of candy? Yes, best and worst of candy, and then we're doing a slightly different one. Yeah, my favorite candy, like I said last week is the reese's miniatures uh that's my favorite candy definitely and uh the worst candy is probably um probably candy corn i really don't like that's a good one
Starting point is 02:42:37 um i really really and there's like a whole bunch of things that are made of the same shit as candy corn that waxy gummy stuff like oh circus peanuts those are terrible that's worse than candy corn circus penises are oh the circus penises oh and and it was one thing that's definitely i'd rather suck a carnie's dick than eat it and uh he just put a ferris wheel together and he's been in the sweltering sun all day i'll suck it down before i eat that circus peanut but um one of the the most overrated candy edible underwear i don't know if you've ever partaken of the edible underwear they're essentially fruit by the foot but stale because they've been in a in a plastic package in a sex store for the last
Starting point is 02:43:25 16 years. And they don't come in a variety of flavors. There's just strawberry. And it's just a surefire way for her to get a yeast infection, for you to get sick to your stomach about a quarter of the way through the next sex act. And everything gets sticky and and they're not tasty i don't get it i don't understand the people who use flavored lubricants yeah or tried that for edible underwear i can understand flavored condoms honestly if you're going to be first of
Starting point is 02:43:57 all if you're sucking somebody's dick but you still think a condom is required, you better be a prostitute. But second of all, if you are a prostitute, why not have a little strawberry into the mix, right? I can understand that. I get that. You ever had a blowjob with a... I'm going to interject here now that I mentioned it. Have you ever had a blowjob
Starting point is 02:44:20 with a condom? I have not. Oh, it's the worst! Yeah, condoms are terrible she was like she was like is it gonna get harder than this and i'm like let me close my eyes and concentrate real hard and i think it will yes well if i could feel anything at all like i felt so insulted like i didn't feel embarrassed because i feel like if i'd be getting a normal blowjob and she'd said that i would have been embarrassed but because there's a condom on i'm just like yeah give me a minute here there's a fucking condom on and you're i can't feel a goddamn thing you're giving
Starting point is 02:44:54 me lip i literally i literally had to like close my eyes and concentrate on something that was sexier than the naked prostitute sucking my dick is it okay to suck on like spermicide like i guess it's okay because it goes in there other words on the inside of the condom oh well there's some sort of lube on the outside well that's lube i didn't really realize that that seems clever i don't know i never really thought it through i guess yeah and not all condoms are lubricated as well yes but I've never seen one unlubricated. That's true. I've seen them, but I wouldn't purchase them.
Starting point is 02:45:31 I always use the same kind of condom. Well, that's... Mary Jane is a terrible candy. I'd have to get that out there. Mary Jane... What the fuck is that? They're like hard, not caramel things. You might... Black licorice is garbage. I don't know why they make black licorice i like black licorice that was the first candy that made me vomit is i
Starting point is 02:45:52 remember i went to a cousin's house and i was like maybe five or six and i went upstairs and uh i was just i was fiending for something hanging out with my cousin my parents and people were downstairs and uh i was like man i want some candy or something and she was like i've got candy i was like what your parents let you just keep candy in your room what can i live you get candy like as a kid it was just so dope then she brought out this dish of all black licorice like uh you know the twizzlers peels it was like those except they were cut into segments and they were very hard clearly an old can but like the not liking it that much aspect of it was paled in comparison to a child seeing candy that no one could tell him not to eat and so i proceeded to eat almost this entire bowl of black licorice not even liking it the whole way
Starting point is 02:46:43 and then like maybe 45 minutes later when I'm going to go to leave, my parents are leaving, I was, like, standing up from playing whatever fucking board game, whatever we were playing with my cousin, and I just projectile vomited just black, just jet black chunks and liquid just all over her light-colored carpet. I haven't had any licorice since. I like licorice. I like licorice
Starting point is 02:47:08 as sort of a middle ground between sweet and savory. And it's not too sweet. I don't know how many calories are in that shit, but I feel like very few. I feel like it's like eating almost... It feels like a healthy candy.
Starting point is 02:47:24 It does. Let me look up how much candy specifically are you talking about licorice oh so just any kind of licorice do you think licorice is a healthy kid how many calories are in licorice even if it was low calorie that doesn't mean licorice is healthy i don't mean it's like fucking eating spinach. I'm not going to... Have me some licorice. There's nothing healthy about licorice. I'm convinced of it. It's probably rubber and sugar, like gum. It seems to have a lot of calories.
Starting point is 02:47:56 Oh, so you weren't even right there. No, it doesn't taste like it's got a lot of sugar in it, but apparently it does. I like that Kyle made it this far in life thinking licorice was, you know, pretty good for you. I mean, it's better than eating a Snickers. You know, it just feels like a Snickers is like nothing but sugar, right?
Starting point is 02:48:14 Oh, it's so good, though. I'd rather eat the Snickers, be in the hole for twice as many calories, and enjoy the snack. Licorice is straight up a sugar rope in my head, whereas Snickers has nutritious nougat in there well it has nutritious nougat peanuts are notoriously low calorie yeah nougat was going to be part of the food chain like the pyramid nougat's like whipped cream and sugar or something like that or like egg whites and sugar or something i don't know what makes me feel
Starting point is 02:48:43 what makes me feel retarded is when I've read that fact where they're like, do you know that Twix, the inside of a Twix is made up from crushed other Twix? And I've always thought like, but how? But how? There's a reciprocal thing here. You can't call it...
Starting point is 02:49:00 So a nougat is a candy made from sugar, honey, nuts, and egg white. Honey, nuts, and egg white. Honey, nuts, and egg white are all health foods. The Egyptians used to eat honey as a way to sweeten their tea. We do that too. I know. I'm just saying some things never change.
Starting point is 02:49:20 You can also treat wounds with honey. Did you know that? Not effectively, but you can. No, no, no. Very effectively. It you know that? Not effectively, but you can. No, no, no. Very effectively. It's antibacterial. Actually, yeah. It's on...
Starting point is 02:49:29 I forget what the subreddit is called, but there are people who talk about fixing pimples, and honey is one of the things they do to their faces. Yep. It's antibacterial. It's fill your wound up with honey. Did you guys... Did you see this Neil deGrasse Tyson thing tyson thing yes no i'm not up to speed
Starting point is 02:49:48 i don't believe it i don't believe it first of all the way they report this like we've said before when they like lump everybody into the same group like i went into reading this article thinking it was going to be much more damning and it is not like rape or anything like that like i guess you can make a case that it's sexual assault but like here's what uh sexual assault even seems like i don't know but i'll read what it says uh in a series of stunning allegations three women have accused scientists and celebrity neil degrasse tyson of sexual assault freelance journalist david mcafee spoke to the women who made the accusations uh she said at a ball or at a party for the american astronomical society in 2009 tyson was there and he was dancing and drinking and all of that at the party so a
Starting point is 02:50:30 friend and i decided to get pictures with him uh they had taken two pictures the where the in the third paragraph told mcafee that tyson felt her up at a party for the american astronomical society oh sorry i was trying to skimp it and i missed a very important part tyson was there drinking dancing blah blah they had taken two pictures together where the scientist decided to get personal with her she alleged after we had taken a picture he noticed my tattoo and kind of grabbed me to look at it and he was really obsessed about whether i had pluto on this tattoo or not jesus christ i'm starting to believe it though and then he looked for pluto and followed the tattoo into my dress so basically like if you
Starting point is 02:51:05 can see me on the camera now like if i was a woman my dress cut off here so it's sleeveless there's a tattoo on the back of my shoulder like tricep area and i guess he was like hunting under here in the dress under the dress area trying to find if pluto is there is what she is what she's claiming like it's on her deltoid, and I guess you could claim he's looking at her back or bicep. There's a picture of it on the article. She told McAfee that she felt the incident did not rise to the level of assault as it was done in public, and she said AAS
Starting point is 02:51:34 did not have a way to report that behavior at the time. She said if the incident occurred today, she would have reported it. Allers did tell Michael... The fucking pussies of America? The fuck? You're like, you're in a ball gown dancing with black science man showing him your tattoos. And he like touches you. And now you think you've been assaulted.
Starting point is 02:51:54 If he doesn't. This is so upsetting. He's just above her elbow, like her bicep insertion. Jesus Christ. Don't go fucking near him. If you're afraid to be touched by a man, why are you even fucking dancing with him? Why are you dancing with him? I mean, yeah, that is pretty a stretch. Or even in the pictures they're taking, they both look to be in a happy mood, but I guess it happened after that. I don't know. But here's another incident, because I think we got the gist of that one. I feel like these people have never had human contact before. Like, have you ever danced with a girl at a club or something?
Starting point is 02:52:29 Yeah, you request each hand placing, and it's not at all uncomfortable or antisocial. Like, I've never seen a woman who's got a dress with hand marks on it like we're playing Twister. And she's like, hey, you take your hands off of blue and green, then it's assault. Like, no. Like, you're touching each other. You're close to each other. Dancing is a prelude to sex. That's what dancing is about
Starting point is 02:52:51 for the most part. It's about feeling the other person out physically and seeing if they've got a little rhythm and et cetera, et cetera. It's foreplay to some extent. Don't dance with Black Science Man if you're not expecting him to touch your shoulder a little. He's literally just like a pimp in the picture.
Starting point is 02:53:11 I stand with black science man on that example because that does not get to the level of assault. Like it seems like maybe a silly joke gone wrong. Here's another one of the accusers named Watson. the uh accusers uh named watson uh watson says she'd been working directly under tyson who called out trump in 2016 by saying he would grab him by the crotch when they met and that they got along well that all changed however when he invited his under underling to his apartment at around 10 30 p.m to share a bottle of wine and unwind for a couple of hours watson who said she felt pressured to impress her superstar boss told me she agreed to come in for a glass of wine instead upon entering his apartment tyson allegedly took off his shoes and shirt remaining in a tank top underneath
Starting point is 02:53:48 unfortunately the night only got more awkward as tyson who was married reportedly put on romantic music and played the most graphic parts uh she says tyson soon brought out a cutting board and a knife to cut blocks of cheese that he decided they would share but before slicing the snack he allegedly gestured towards the towards her with the knife and made a comment about stabbing. Watson says she took the comment as a bad joke, but it's important to note that this type of joke is exactly what people in power need to keep in mind when they're dealing with subordinates, and it set the stage for a night filled with subtle intimidation and sexual advances. Watson says Tyson started talking about how every human being needs certain releases in life, including physical releases. He reportedly mentioned how difficult it had been for him
Starting point is 02:54:26 to be away from his wife and home for several months. Watson says Tyson asked her if she needed any releases. He responded with a story about sexual harassment she endured in the past. It was a smart way to defuse a tense situation, but she says he was unfazed. She was getting up to leave when
Starting point is 02:54:41 Neil allegedly stopped her, saying he wanted to show her a Native American handshake He knew That involved holding hands tightly Making eye contact and feeling for each other's pulse Watson told me When she broke off the awkward and incredibly intimate handshake Which he allegedly said represented a spirit connection
Starting point is 02:54:56 She attempted to just get up and leave Tyson then allegedly put his hands on her shoulders And said he wanted to hug her But if he did, he'd just want more Watson says she left Tyson's apartment quickly After the inappropriate comments And that the next day she confronted him That's pretty bad. Oh, come on. The only thing bad about that. This is what the person is claiming.
Starting point is 02:55:23 This isn't an investigation or anything. I don't want to portray it as that. It's so vanilla. Come on, Woody. That's so vanilla. Look, I get that. I can totally see him making uncomfortable, awkward jokes that he meant to be a joke. If you come to my house, if you come to my apartment or whatever for some wine and cheese,
Starting point is 02:55:47 to my apartment or whatever for some wine and cheese and and i play some romantic music and you haven't excused yourself like yet i feel like the onus is on you a little bit but he didn't grab her titty he didn't he didn't like try to kiss her he didn't he didn't touch her in any kind of a way everything he did he asked if she wanted to do the only problem that like so you're making a pretty convincing point i like where your head's at the challenge i have though is that he was in a position of power over her and when there's that kind of relationship when a coach has an athlete over when a professor has a subordinate over when a boss has his secretary over he really needs to be double sure that he's not like i don't know using his position of power in a way to get sex because that becomes not okay i think i think it is okay i think the idea that a superior can never have a relationship with a
Starting point is 02:56:38 subordinate is absurd i think it happens a ton didn't that. I said you need to be double safe, right? When he says like, hey, humans need releases. Have you ever needed a release? And then she tells a sexual harassment or assault story. Dude, stop pushing. When she wants to leave and he's like, let me show you my Native American handshake, right? Intimately check your pulse or something. I get that he didn't grab her by the pussy, right?
Starting point is 02:57:04 He's not going all Trump on her. but he's going too far because is he because she's a subordinate there's a special set i feel like i feel like i feel like you and me could do the indian handshake and even if you felt uncomfortable with exactly right which like like even if it's a little weird and uncomfortable there's a sexual there like I don't feel like I've overstepped any bounds. I feel like I could do an Indian handshake with another man's wife, and unless he's very uptight, I don't see why he'd get upset.
Starting point is 02:57:35 I wouldn't care if you Indian handshaked my girlfriend. I might be jealous about that. See, the story itself, I was... You're a pretty jealous guy, though. I feel like the average guy. Taylor, where are you on the spectrum? If Kyle Indian handshook your girlfriend? I think I would allow it because it seems really uncomfortable and awkward.
Starting point is 02:57:58 And it doesn't seem like any sort of connection is coming out of that other than... I don't know that I'm... I'm not going indian handshake his girlfriend and turn her or anything she's not gonna karate chop the situation and get it to break up i'm just gonna be like i prefer taylor never indian handshakes me all he does is buy undersized workout equipment and all he does is get is get scammed on amazon on ellipticals oh why am i dating this fucking idiot meanwhile you know my pulse he said it represented a spirit connection he was making a move right that was the move i don't know
Starting point is 02:58:39 i was gonna say it was the best move but he was making a move on her and i felt like he was making a move on her after she put up a wall and had that we don't know his side of any of this that's unnecessary and we believe the woman taylor it's 2018 for christ sakes pound me too the uh uh but assuming that what she's saying is true i just feel like you need to go at this thing even more softly if you have a position of power over that woman. After I realized this wasn't that intense rape kind of thing or anything, I lost interest in it, and I feel bad for Tyson. I don't follow him, but I feel bad if this is slandering his character and it ends up that it's not true. What it made me think of was like, I was imagining a Carl Sagan-style astronomer having to defend themselves from real
Starting point is 02:59:31 rape allegations where there'd be like both my dick and her pussy are made of star stuff. I am the universe raping itself. You know? And you have to keep coming up with excuses. The atoms in her
Starting point is 02:59:48 vagina and the atoms in my dick were both forged in a crucible of the ancient stars in the cosmos. And he would have to, like, say that in front of people, like, but you did have sex with this woman against her will. Did you not?
Starting point is 03:00:03 We are all the cosmos and i did not rape anyone if not myself it would you put your penis into your wife's vagina you are raping me we are what and like just has to do that bullshit what is free will anyway i mean we are all just a sequence of chemical reactions. That caused me to be a rapist. You know, molecules followed a certain way. I was, it was inevitable. I had to do it. My friend said this to me and he's like, do you think you have free will?
Starting point is 03:00:37 And I said, yeah, of course, you know, I do. He's like, but you don't believe in God, right? You just believe everything is a bunch of, you know, chemical reactions. And like, you could somehow break the universe down into math you could predict the way that it flows out and i'm like yeah i guess if you could somehow capture all that state and where it's headed he's like so if you're just a bunch of you know chemical reactions and electrical pulses how do you have free will could you just predetermine everything that's going to happen if there's no god then then where's your choice that was such a confusing for
Starting point is 03:01:05 me thing for me like with religious teachings when i was younger where like there were different branches of christians or like some were like deterministic and others were like more free will where they're like you know some christians like actually i don't know the actual you know subsect of them that believe it but some of them believe like no matter what some people cannot be saved like citing things like well the pharaoh in Exodus, you know, he couldn't be saved. You know, even when he was trying to come back, he had his heart hardened. And other Christians will be like, well, no, everything is free will. And that confused the shit out of me as a kid.
Starting point is 03:01:37 Because, like, when you think about it, like, I didn't realize this until later. Like, I don't remember who said it, or it kind of, you know, tripped me up. Where they were like, you can't be given free will because you didn't realize this until later. I don't remember who said it, or it kind of tripped me up, where they were like, you can't be given free will because you didn't have a choice. If you don't have free will, it's just something that's imposed on you, and then you have free will. I don't know. I don't believe in free will.
Starting point is 03:01:57 I think everything is predetermined. Really? I believe in a space-time continuum where it's already done. It's already done. I believe the future's already written it's already done i believe the future is already written like like the decisions have already been made you're not gonna you're not gonna you're gonna do anything different than you were going to do i think that it's all just stimuli and reaction and you are always going to react the same way like there's i think choice is an illusion. Yeah. My challenge is I agree with Kyle,
Starting point is 03:02:26 but somehow think there's still free will. Like I tell you there's no free will, and I offer you chocolate and vanilla, and you're like, I was going to pick chocolate, and now I'm going to pick vanilla. And I'm like, yeah, I knew you were going to pick vanilla. Here's the vanilla card. See, I always knew you were going to pick vanilla
Starting point is 03:02:43 because I knew that I was going to tell you you didn't have any free will and that you were going to pick chocolate but because i told you there was no free will you would pick vanilla and so i knew all along that you would pick vanilla you're like ah well actually i'm gonna pick chocolate yeah actually here i knew i knew you were going to pick chocolate all along because i knew that i would tell you are you an omnipotent god in this situation no i'm a i'm someone from the future in this oh okay um and you know and you come back to study things like chocolate choice the important issues and free will yeah and obviously events uh through your life impact the way that you react to other things right like you know spill coffee think that your mother's gonna beat you right that's something that's a reaction to she was always going to beat you you were always
Starting point is 03:03:29 right so but if you could take the whole universe and like break it down into a single frame and then you could calculate it out somehow then my interactions with her were going to happen and then those you know everything that i happened and my interactions with my kids and it just you could somehow figure it out going forward if you could capture all the details you ever been beaten with a rolled newspaper no he's sipping through so many catalogs right now like mental not a rolled newspaper but uh you know a national geographic no yeah i really think i have been beaten by periodicals i don't know like it'd be something like that magazines newspapers stuff like that but it's quarterly catalog so a girthy one more like on the fly though right like give me the sports page you
Starting point is 03:04:18 run away from uh from this attack pissed himself he down. He's going to ring this out and beat him with it. He'll learn. Slow learner. What's up? Go ahead. No, go ahead. You go, please. I was laughing at Trump's Thanksgiving
Starting point is 03:04:39 quote because every so often, he says ridiculous shit all the time, but then every so often there will says ridiculous shit all the time but then every so often there will be the softest of soft softballs thrown his way and he will just just swing and miss and this is the perfect example like when i read this like it reads if this were on like a comedy show you'd be like that's unrealistic but like it that's how bad it is. He was asked...
Starting point is 03:05:06 What are you most thankful for, Mr. President? He's like, for having a great family and for having made a tremendous difference in this country. I've made a tremendous difference in the country. The country is so much stronger now that it was when I took over that you wouldn't believe it. I'm thankful for my great family
Starting point is 03:05:22 and how awesome I am. Me too. I am. Me! I am so thankful. And an ego in check. I like that about me. I like that I know how to keep myself in check. I'm a very calm person. Very tamped down. Very in control. Very humble. People say I'm the most humble person they've ever met.
Starting point is 03:05:39 He's so bad at it! Oh my god, I watched him today. He does that thing whenever he's about to board Marine One, which is like the presidential chopper like he'll stop and talk to the please stop somewhere with better audio carry on i think it's almost on purpose because anytime he doesn't like the question he's like i can't hear you i don't know if he literally says i can't hear you i don't know if you noticed that's a helicopter yeah it's a turbine helicopter i bet you've never been in one have you fucking loser i would love if he went out there and just like just was even more gaudy and and gauche with his shit like you know make it i want his aesthetic to become more like saddam 2001 a lot of gold like very persian-esque looks pretty close already if you like showed the oval
Starting point is 03:06:28 office and he had like new new posters like like an old apprentice poster or something like that he needs to replace that carpet with like the eagle and the with its feet has like the bow and the wreath or something with with his own portrait you know in the carpet and. And it's done in such a way that it doesn't even show Melania or Barrett. It's just zoomed into him. Oh, man. He's in some trouble now. We'll see. I know we don't talk politics
Starting point is 03:06:56 much. It's probably been a couple of months. But I guess what happened is Mueller, I think it's pronounced Mueller, but everyone's saying Mueller on TV. He had been waiting to make a move for Trump to give him his answers. Right. So kind of nothing's happened for a couple of weeks. And then he gets the written answers from Trump.
Starting point is 03:07:16 And then all of a sudden he's making moves on Corsi, on Manafort and on Stone. And he has these guys as lying. Corsi's like, I never lied but they'd ask questions like hey did you ever meet with Julian Assange and he's like well I don't remember like like you know he would just forget so uh yeah that's the thing I don't like I'll we'll see how it pans out but like the Julian Assange thing I don't buy one bit the Ecuadorian embassy there is the most like surveilled by so many different like uh nations special forces and things like it's like on lockdown like and to think that they would miss
Starting point is 03:07:50 three meetings and this cctv doesn't catch it none of those uh none of those fucking organizations catch it it's like i i don't buy that like they they would fucking know if someone's going in the ecuadorian embassy they might three times they've times. They've been saying Trump's in trouble and then shifting the narrative about exactly what he's in trouble about for his entire presidency. I'll believe it when he's indicted or impeached. And even when he's impeached, because I think he may very well be impeached,
Starting point is 03:08:20 but some people have a misunderstanding about what impeachment proceedings actually mean. Bill Clinton was impeached. They have to find... that doesn't mean he's kicked out of office it just means he's sort of brought up on you can be impeached for anything yeah so it's not that big of a deal i mean it's a big deal it's only happened a couple times but i think twice doesn't doesn't mean he's out of office i believe it's twice as well i'll believe it when i see it like because everything is so partisan. One side will say, absolutely not.
Starting point is 03:08:49 There's absolutely no wrongdoing. The other side makes Trump sound like a traitor to the nation. And that he's selling out America to enrich himself. And there are these deep conspiracies involving Julian Assange and WikiLeaks. And a dozen subordinates and Kellyanne Conway and I'll believe it when I see it. I just can't believe Andrew Jackson was impeached. Corsi took a flight to Germany or something and then on that flight,
Starting point is 03:09:13 he says he was hit with divine intervention and God told him that Assange was going to release Podesta's emails through WikiLeaks. He had just sort of figured it out with no clues. And then he told Roger Stone and Roger Stone told the Trump campaign. And then they claimed that they knew this. They put it on
Starting point is 03:09:32 Twitter and such. And now they're claiming that all of those things were just guesses. Even though it went down exactly like they said before it actually happened. So it's unbelievable. There's no way they just... And his story was great it's hey they had this big email dumped and i noticed that there weren't any podesta emails and that's how i
Starting point is 03:09:53 knew there were going to be podesta emails yeah i i'm probably on your side on this one i i do think there was probably some sort of um uh speaking with like wiki leaks about what was going to be released and it's etc but i don't know what wiki said there wasn't but we'll have to see yeah well we'll see i'm hoping we get to the bottom of it but i don't know what crime has been committed in that regard like i don't know like to me it doesn't feel like a terrible thing that has been done that like if if he coordinated with wiki leaks to release information that was true about his opponent i i just don't think that's bad like you know like i mean hillary clinton financed that whole report that dossier with a foreign agent ironically steel he could get him on the cover-up like that can be a thing because he's written under oath that he didn't
Starting point is 03:10:40 know about the meeting in 2016 and trump towers that his son and campaign manager and Steve Bannon there, I forget all the people that were there. He says he had no idea that that happened. Yeah. If they prove that he knew that happened, well, you know, he's done more than Clinton did. I think proving it is difficult. I think proving it beyond a reasonable doubt is difficult. I don't know if reasonable doubt is required in this sort of a situation you know the the the the barrier like what a tricky thing is this right so trump has a blocked phone number
Starting point is 03:11:10 right yeah so immediately after that meeting trump jr called a blocked phone number i presumably to talk about the meeting and i don't know how many blocked phone numbers there are but it seems pretty fishy to anybody with a head on their shoulder. Right. You know, like, yeah. After the meeting, I immediately called a blocked phone number and, uh, you know, that's how it went down.
Starting point is 03:11:29 Yeah. You called your dad, you know, you know, you did. This is absolutely positive. Don't be silly. Um,
Starting point is 03:11:35 it, and then, you know, he worked through Assange and the Russians to do Facebook trolling and all that fun stuff. And Trump has denied it. And that could be... Well, I don't think anybody is saying
Starting point is 03:11:51 that he was directly tied to Facebook campaigns that Russia did and things. They've said that for a while, but there's still no evidence that he did that. Yeah, see, that's my thing. I want to wait to the end because I feel like it's just like, oh, well, this guy talked to this guy and this guy talked to this guy and the russians did this so it's got to be trump pulling the strings well who's pulling the strings is is putin pulling
Starting point is 03:12:13 the strings or is trump pulling the strings they go back and forth and then the narrative for a long time is like ah trump's afraid to do anything to putin and it seems like he's he's being tough on this ukrainian thing you know with it and we could even talk about that that's that to me is pretty interesting i don't know a lot about it maybe you guys do russia seized a ukrainian navy vessel and they're holding 24 sailors is that correct uh could be something like there were several ukrainian nations i'm gonna go they got 24 i'm pretty sure it's 24 sailors that they're holding and they're saying they're going to be held for the next two months
Starting point is 03:12:47 and then tried I don't know what sort of trial exactly right like trespassing or like war crimes God knows with a Russian court that's hopefully nothing happens between
Starting point is 03:13:03 Russia and Ukraine or nothing more happens between russia and ukraine you know we talked about world war one and how that was just like like one small well you know being assassinated isn't a small thing but like how one action triggers all these treaties we're right on the precipice of something like that i feel like again so it was three ukrainian boats i'll call them one thing they're calling a gunboat and I'm sorry, two gunboats and a tug. The tug is the one you saw rammed. If you watch the video, the Russians rammed one. That was a tugboat.
Starting point is 03:13:34 And you're probably right about the 24 sailors. I just don't find that number in this article. Yeah. It's not a big vessel then. You know, if it's got eight, it sounds like eight men on average per vessel if it's three vessels not not huge vessels but that's irrelevant yeah what you nailed was that like i how close are we to a real war that's my question so i watched a ted talk and uh in the ted talk they said we should be concerned by the way it wasn't political it wasn't about russia it might have even been during Obama's term. It was old.
Starting point is 03:14:09 But they were basically just talking about how there are these tensions there. And if you look at the other world wars, they were all started by some third party thing. Right? Like Arch Ferdinand? Duke Ferdinand was his name? Arch Duke Ferdinand. Oh. I got it right. Kind of.
Starting point is 03:14:23 So that sort of third party kicked off the the big role in all these treaties fall in uh if you look at vietnam you know that thing was started under like weird side situations and they're like all you need is like king joan un to do the wrong thing that forces us to reply and then other people the china jumps in and i think they were actually more concerned about china than r Russia in the thing I was watching. But yeah, it's just, I don't know. And then sometimes these nations have America by the balls financially,
Starting point is 03:14:55 but not necessarily militarily yet. And that's a thing too. And my understanding is at the beginning of World War II, if we were to use that as an example, a pre-nuclear example, that America wasn't necessarily the biggest, baddest military on the planet. But we did have a really significant production facility. Our manufacturing was really top notch. And we could just send armaments to Britain before we were in it.
Starting point is 03:15:23 And then when we got involved you know they just mow our tanks up but we had six for every one of theirs and and that that had a lot to do with yeah they stopped making cars you know like like i i'm probably somewhat wrong about this but i don't think there are like 1943 chevrolets i don't think those exist because gm was making fucking tanks and ford was making fucking bombers or whatever. Airplanes, yeah. It makes sense to me. So I wonder, like, all right,
Starting point is 03:15:48 let's say that today our military is better than China's, right? Two reasons. One, a lot of their tech comes from stealing from us, so they're going to be delayed a touch. And two, we spend a lot more money on it than they do, so hopefully that means that we have a better military. But how well does it stay, right? You know, we might have a better military but how well does it stay right you know we might have a 104 fighter jets and they can produce 10 a week what advantage does that give us i don't know
Starting point is 03:16:13 like i like those it's i don't think anyone knows like like like what would happen in an actual world war i hope we never find out because the with the proliferation of nuclear weapons and how different the nuclear weapon I feel like everybody thinks of nuclear weapons with the same way we thought about them in the in the 50s the late 50s and early 60s as Like one big bomb that gets dropped by a plane or maybe one missile that sends one big bomb to one city But like ICBMs are our Mervs multiple but like icbms are uh are mervs uh multiple entry i don't know what it stands for exactly it's a continental ballistic missile maybe well that's what an icbm is but what did you say
Starting point is 03:16:53 a merv m-i-r-v it's multiple independent something vehicle or something basically what it means is each of these ICBMs is like a dozen nuclear missiles that each break off and find their own individual target. And each of those is much more powerful than the bombs that we dropped back in World War II. It's just there are so many, there are thousands and
Starting point is 03:17:18 thousands of these nuclear weapons. Multiple independently targetable re-entry vehicle. Cool. Yeah. There's no T in MIRV but that's what it says The T is silent In the decorative Terrifying weapons You got to pray that never happens
Starting point is 03:17:34 And you would think that it wouldn't But you know You only have to look to fallout To see what would really In fallout there's a resource war and between the united states and china essentially and in the end the u.s gets a technological advantage over china which is the power suit you know those the suit you always see in the fallout of some sort yeah and that and they also have these man launched nuclear weapons these mini nukes and those two
Starting point is 03:18:04 pieces of technology really set us head and shoulders above the Chinese, and we're able to push them out of Alaska and take the fight to them over in China. And we've essentially defeated China in this resource war, in this World War III scenario, and it's about over. And then the Chinese launched all their nukes, right? right they're like we're not going to be defeated you know if we lose everyone loses i feel like that's what happens inevitably in any sort of a world war if one side doesn't can't achieve some sort of uh defeat with honor then everybody dies it's it's a real shitty situation which is why it's almost a good
Starting point is 03:18:42 thing that we have these little proxy wars like vietnam and korea which are terrible things where hundreds of thousands of people die but the world doesn't end there's a term for it that russia has i i can't quickly find it but usually assured destruction i don't think that's the one i'm looking for. But they have a term for it that basically says, if we start losing a war, we make sure that you die too. That's just the way that you can expect a victory over Russia to go. And it really makes them scary badass MFs, doesn't it? It's called the deterrence option. Is that what they call it, the deterrence option? Because Israel has the same thing
Starting point is 03:19:25 called the samson option where if they're ever like on the brink of destruction they're like well i mean israel won't confirm or deny they have nukes but they totally have nukes yeah like and they gave them away that's their thing yeah is like so they have a similar i'm sure most nations of nukes have something similar to that where it's like if we're on the brink of destruction you better believe all the biggest cities in in you know the region or area or the world if we can hit them are going down with us yeah it's it's it's a terrible thing it would be a good thing if we could just get rid of the nuclear weapons and and i feel i feel like yeah we haven't had any world wars since we got them maybe the deterrence thing is working it It's only a matter of time, though. Like, it won't go forever where this works out.
Starting point is 03:20:07 You might be right. I feel like the big fear is that as it spreads to less responsible countries, you know, King Jun-un's a madman. They keep telling us on the news that he's mad and has no brain and is crazy and giggling. If he gets workable nukes, maybe he uses them. Or maybe he uses them or no no he only wants nukes as to give him a bargaining chip oh he's not a forward thinker he's just an insane person just a crazy guy yes oh my god next thing you know he'll be slashing prices yeah it's like, he wants a nuke so that then he has... Come to Crazy Kim's Carpets! Everything's half-priced this weekend!
Starting point is 03:20:51 It's half-priced because I broke up on a half! Yeah, I mentioned this at Infiniium on the show, but they describe everyone who's not our friend as a madman. And they're lying to you. Just be advised that they're lying to you. They always do this. Like, from now on, I assume everyone they call a madman is not until, like, it's proven, you know?
Starting point is 03:21:12 Like, the Assad thing. Like, the gassing his own citizens. Like, that really didn't make any sense to me. And a lot of people seem to agree, where they're like, hey, it's really weird how these things only happen when it's, like, really fucking convenient for the people who, well, they want it to happen. They're like, they killed his own people right
Starting point is 03:21:28 a civil war they went uprising against the government we did that to uh yeah southern people they're not real people by the way the southern are the irish of the americans yeah yeah we had to show them what for but no one was like lincoln is a madman he killed his own people and it's like they did at the time maybe they did maybe they did but we got the right history so let's jump to the next thing kyle can you tell us about one more of our good friends well youtube music is a new app that combines everything you expect from a streaming service with the magic of YouTube to bring everything to life
Starting point is 03:22:06 with YouTube Music Premium excuse me, I started the wrong one we've all found ourselves down a rabbit hole on YouTube have an ad for free yeah, same people saying some good things about YouTube Music we've all found ourselves down a rabbit hole on YouTube there's so much music to discover there
Starting point is 03:22:23 you can spend hours exploring new songs and artists and now there's an app to make it all so much easier. YouTube Music is a brand new music streaming service, combining everything you expect from a streaming service with the magic of YouTube to bring it all to life. YouTube Music makes it easy to find the music you're looking for. Official albums, singles, music videos, live performances, even covers and remixes. Don't know the song's name? You can search by lyrics. It's all that easy. The YouTube Music app gives you recommendations based on your taste, location, and time of day.
Starting point is 03:22:50 You can easily find the music trending around you no matter where you are. And with YouTube Music Premium, it's even better. You can get ad-free music that plays with the screen off or while using other apps, finally. Enjoy your music whenever you want, even when you're offline download the new
Starting point is 03:23:05 music app today and start a free 30-day trial then enjoy music for only 9.99 per month terms and restrictions apply youtube music it's all here check them out yeah i legit use youtube music and youtube premium and stuff all the time you can see it when i share ads premium in the corner uh share ads share videos i don't know i like the ad free life i like the thing and i feel good about it i use youtube so much more than tv it's worth it yeah same here for the most part like i've been uh binging this guy juji mufu videos on uh does he do he's like this yoked out of his fucking mind, flexible as can be guy.
Starting point is 03:23:47 I didn't know he was on America's Got Talent or one of those talent shows years and years ago. And his upper body is enormous. Remember how big Furious Pete was? Bigger than Furious Pete. He does videos next to Fur furious pete and it's like jesus christ like this guy is a monster juju wait jjuji mufu something like that i might know him from buff dudes possibly oh well those guys all like cross promote but he does like really
Starting point is 03:24:20 entertaining shit and he does a lot of grip training stuff well i didn't even know that was a thing where like you hook like a thing that's difficult to hold onto only like a 45 pound plate and you have to like grip it in weird positions and try and lift it up but uh he does all these cool challenges with like uh brian shaw who is like the best power lifter in the world and he's like the perfect example of that uh mma thing where they're like they don't get mad in public as much because like they they know they kind of got to tamp it down this guy's like six foot nine 430 pounds and his forearms are the size of like normal people's calves or quads it's insane and he'll do all these things and like i things. I can't do it justice describing it, but the amount
Starting point is 03:25:06 this guy can lift and weird things like the challenges they do where they'll be like, oh, we're going to set up a grip station here in the middle of a mall and see what people can do. Or, oh, we're going to go do it in a rock climbing gym. Oh, wow, this little tiny kid is doing a ton. Or we're going to make a big hammer. I wouldn't have described it as little tiny kids, but you know what a rock
Starting point is 03:25:22 climber looks like. There's very low body fat on them and they're strong in all kinds of odd ways like this super lean this muscle is well defined for some reason whatever the hell it does and uh yeah they were able to pick up like i don't know balls that you can barely palm much better than this buff dude so yeah i like him i don't know him as well you. I'm watching him right here in a tutu. So I guess he doesn't take himself too seriously. No, not at all. And he's great.
Starting point is 03:25:52 I like that a lot. And I like to... Oh, go ahead. Dom Modestetti or something? The bro science guy? Yeah, I've watched his videos. Not in a long time, but those are funny. Something about him not taking himself too seriously. He said something about steroids
Starting point is 03:26:05 that's burned in my head you guys know i've been daydreaming about roids for at least a year now and uh he's like being on steroids is like being up at the poker table but you can never stop playing and i'm like oh do i want to sign up for that do I want to be up at a poker table knowing I can never leave? Is that even good? What does that mean? I guess it means as soon as you get off the steroids, you're crapped out. I don't think that's true.
Starting point is 03:26:36 Oh, my video did that thing again. I wasn't going to say anything. You look good. Give it another minute. You're okay. I think that if you go on the steroids and you get a bunch of gains, I think that even when you come up, you keep some percentage of it.
Starting point is 03:26:50 And also, you've got that... I don't know if they call it muscle memory, but if when you were 20, you were super jacked, like you were an amateur bodybuilder at 20, and then you don't do it for 10 years, and you come back to it when you're 30, I feel like you are at a huge advantage to someone who's 30 and was never jacked i feel like you have this muscle
Starting point is 03:27:10 memory you are for sure dude like it's way easier to put on muscle if you've lifted before and then you let it all kind of peter out and then start up again yeah and actually i think i think that your bone density changes and i don't think that you lose all of that your tendons and your uh your ligaments and everything those become strengthened and I don't think that you lose all of that. Your tendons and your ligaments and everything, those become strengthened, and I don't think you lose all of that. I should just call one of those doctors, like the anti-aging Raleigh office or something, and see what they say. Yeah. See if they just do it up.
Starting point is 03:27:41 Or just go to Gold's Gym. Oh, just find some guy in the locker room? Do you remember how you fixed your camera, Kyle? Is it repeatable? I restart my computer. No, you fixed it on the fly. I have a solid state drive. Watch out. I'm going to
Starting point is 03:27:58 restart it now. What does that mean? State drive. It means that his hard drive doesn't have moving parts. It's almost like RAM and it boots really fast. Okay. Well, good to know. I'll forget that in the next few minutes.
Starting point is 03:28:13 It's not spinning magnetic disks like you're in the 80s. There wasn't another factoid for me to throw out, so I tossed that out before it got long. I don't want to forget the name of the orc that's at the top of the tower of Orthanc. What is his name? I actually might have forgotten him. I don't want to forget the name of the orc that's at the top of the tower of Orthanc. What is his name, Taylor?
Starting point is 03:28:28 I actually might have forgotten him. I don't remember. I blew it for you. No, no, not Orthanc. Actually, I was thinking of the tower of Barad-dur. That is Grishnak. Who was the other YouTuber you were saying you were watching? His name is Shaw Strength. It's that guy, Brian Shaw. I was checking Social Blade, which is something i never do for like his channel and he's gained
Starting point is 03:28:49 hundreds of thousands of subs in the last like week he's blowing up it's that guy he's like six nine strongest dude in the world like ever and he's like he's so refreshingly humble about things where like they asked him they're like so we're here with world's strongest man brian shaw can we still call you world's strongest man because Brian Shaw. Can we still call you world's strongest man? Because you won before, but you didn't win this year. And he's like, you know, a lot of people, they get caught up in all these titles and whatnot. I kind of see it more like if you've won it before,
Starting point is 03:29:15 you can remain that title. But if I were to have come here today and I had never won and you'd called me the world's strongest man, then we'd have a real problem. And he was so humble and nice about it. They did a game where they try not to get kicked out of Planet Fitness for lunk alarms, which if you accidentally drop weights in Planet Fitness,
Starting point is 03:29:35 an actual alarm goes off that goes like, woo-woo, telling you, because it's like a no intimidation zone or something. And so they play a game where he and juji have to go around and max out every single machine and try and as fast as they can without getting kicked out and they get kicked out like super quick initially because they're doing it and then like like brian is so big he's like guys like i really know i can lift all this weight but i don't fit in a lot of these machines where he's like having what he had to do with like a two-hand
Starting point is 03:30:03 chest press one at max hundreds and hundreds of pounds is for him to do it he had to like grab one arm and just push it out and hold it and then get in and do it and be like okay he's he's so strong it's it's insane it's like it's really motivating to watch people like that so i've been loving his channel and juji mufu those are. Those are good guys. I, on the opposite end of the spectrum, have been watching this YouTube channel called Comics Explained, where he goes into these 20, 30, sometimes
Starting point is 03:30:33 one hour long videos and explains comic books. Oh, that sounds so fucking boring. It's so fun. He's like, well, this is Iron Man 1 Million. Alright, he's a beyond omega level character basically shajam has come over from the dc universe and bestowed iron man with magical powers his iron is made of his armor is made of mithril now and he's invented and i'm just like
Starting point is 03:30:59 cool all right got the mithril iron man all right. All right. Tell me more. Tell me more. He's going to face off against Galactus, the eater of worlds. Now he's a... All right. All right. Okay. I listened to like, I don't know how many of those videos. Like I fell asleep listening to them last night. Had ridiculous dreams. Ridiculous dreams.
Starting point is 03:31:19 I've gone through the same rabbit hole. It's kind of fun. I know it's not for Taylor, but they're like, you know, they describe like what it would take to kill dead polar wolverine and and how they've been dead before but then part of a drop of blood got next to another part of a drop of blood and then it just regenerated into wolverine from there like you have to separate all the drops of blood yeah he'll tell like there are there are these like comic books that'll be like one-offs that are or they'll exist in like an alternate universe than the main marvel universe or the main dc universe or whatever because there's each each comic book series has their own like multiverse with with many different realities and where
Starting point is 03:32:00 like we exist in one of them we're like dc universe dc earth number five where there aren't where comic book heroes exist only in the movies and comics but dc universe prime or zero is like the one that we're most familiar with but then there's where like batman is batman and superman is superman but there's like i don't know 55 other ones or something like that and and he'll go into all these stories like i watched one today like telling the entire backstory of the punisher and it's it's pretty cool he was in vietnam and they're so they're telling like a punisher vietnam story that involves like rape and mercy killings and and human trafficking and all this crazy there's nudity and they're like real adult stories in some is the punisher the one who goes around and just like murders people who have done bad things?
Starting point is 03:32:46 He straight up murders evil people. He's... What the heck is the Keanu Reeves movie? Oh, I think I'm thinking of Judge Dredd. He's kind of John Wick-y. And he doesn't really have a superpower that I know of other than just being really, really good. Like John Wick.
Starting point is 03:33:04 He's a Vietnam veteran, ex-police officer whose family was killed by the mob and now he's very motivated and very well equipped and very talented and he's like an expert tactician. So he'll just shoot fucking Spider-Man in the head sometimes. There's episodes
Starting point is 03:33:20 where he did that. There's a whole alternate part. Did Spider-Man die from that? Yeah, he killed the entire Marvel Universe in one comment. He doesn't even have superpowers. He just has guns. That's hilarious. Oh, no, he's like Batman. He's very clever with guns.
Starting point is 03:33:32 He's very clever with the guns, right? You can shoot the guy. You know, if he needs a fancy bullet to get the job done, well, he'll just get himself some fancy bullets that can kill. But Spider-Man has spidey sense. He should have dodged it he was they were like this close he just shot him in the head and uh oh what did he do to spider-man was already i think in that comic spider-man was already fighting with like another uh like a villain like they were in the middle of a fight and uh and he
Starting point is 03:34:01 just takes how do they bring him back they it's one of those one-offs where they don't bring him back. He literally kills the entire Marvel Universe. He kills all the X-Men. He kills all the Avengers. He kills every Marvel character that exists. I get stuck in the who can beat who sub-genre of what we're talking about. Hulk versus
Starting point is 03:34:20 Thing seem to fight a lot. Hulk almost always wins, but not always wins. Thing is the big rock guy from Fantastic Four. Yeah, Superman. Superman, in a team, is not the best guy out there, but apparently he's the 1v1 champ. It's very difficult to beat him.
Starting point is 03:34:37 He's invulnerable to almost everything except magic. So a guy like Doctor Strange, if he were to come over, Superman doesn't really have any defenses against magic. That stuff is psychic attacks. How can magic hurt him if he's invulnerable to everything except for kryptonite, right? And magic.
Starting point is 03:34:54 Oh, okay. Well, that answered that. He could just slice him in two with his hands. And then there's characters who control the molecular structure of things, so they can just be like, ah, now you're water. And then the
Starting point is 03:35:10 highest level characters are hard to even get, right? They're like, this is the creator. And the creator kind of translates into the artist who's making this in real life. And he's the most powerful guy of all. And you're like, oh, that's kind of cheating.
Starting point is 03:35:25 What a lame-ass larpy way for some like fat bald guy to write himself in it's kind of what happens i'm the creator yeah there are a bunch of yeah it gets really convoluted and difficult to understand in some yeah to some regards because like i said they're in the dc universe there's like like I said, I think 55 Earths that exist where each one has a different setup. Like there's 55 different kinds of Superman. There's Ultraman.
Starting point is 03:35:55 There's an Ultraman that's from a world where the Nazis won. So he's like evil Ultraman. There's an Ultraman where the United States is run by a police state. So he's like totalitarian Ultraman. There's a wholeraman where the United States is run by a police state, so he's like totalitarian Ultraman. There's a whole bunch of them. And then outside of that bubble that they call the multiverse, there's all of these beings that exist over that.
Starting point is 03:36:14 And there's like hell and heaven. They both exist outside of that where you've literally got basically the DC Universe's god and angels, but you've also got a Satan and demons. And you also have a similar thing going on in the Marvel universe, right? Because John Constantine from the Keanu Reeves movie is a Marvel character. He exists in there, and there are crossovers where John Constantine
Starting point is 03:36:38 is working with the Fantastic Four and shit like that to fight demons. It's super convoluted, and there's so much source material. Because they were cranking out multiple comics every week since the 40s or something like that with DC, and since
Starting point is 03:36:54 the 70s or something like that, 60s or 70s with Marvel, that there's just a ton of shit. Didn't they have propaganda comics back then, like the World War II time, where they'd be like, Come on, Superman, we gotta fight the Japs. They're coming across the seas.
Starting point is 03:37:09 One of the best Superman stories involves, it happens either during Reagan's administration or Nixon's administration. I can't remember which. I think it might be Nixon. But Superman is utilized to fight Russians. There's some island where there's like a
Starting point is 03:37:25 like a pre-vietnam build-up taking place and like there's russian tanks being placed on there and the u.s is like all right russia you won't fuck around superman go get him and there's this scene where superman just flies in and he's grabbing tanks by the turrets and smashing other tanks and stuff like that he just like ends the fucking war in like an hour or something like that i think that's also the one where it might be a two-parter movie that i watched and uh and superman and batman end up facing off in the end and that's where like batman defeats him with the help of the green arrow it would be hard to stay good if I was Superman. And even if I'm good, what's good exactly? Like America and Russia are at war, right?
Starting point is 03:38:09 Yeah. Are we purely white knights here? Hell no. Have we done nothing wrong? Do you not know Superman's mantra? Truth, justice, and the American way. Okay, I hear you. Is that really his mantra?
Starting point is 03:38:24 Yes. Why would he care about america he's from zyklon or something he's from kansas you bastard that's right he's from fucking kansas that's where he was raised and uh you know he's he's an american he believes in democracy and freedom not fascism not communism that he killed in that war it wasn't fair right like let's say you go and there's a bunch of goat fuckers who turn their interest on some poor innocent girl right who's being a sex slave in uh um isis right what if you just like slowly tear some limbs off like you pull an arm off a
Starting point is 03:38:59 guy and say i'll come back to you and then you pull a nose off another guy and a foot off another guy. Got your nose, literally. Throw that away. You would be evil if that's what you were thinking about doing. As evil as them? Yeah. You were just giving the lecture about with great power comes great responsibility. And now you're going off tearing people's arms off.
Starting point is 03:39:19 That's a Marvel Universe thing. I was saying it would be hard to stay good. Oh, about the rape thing yeah you're right I guess so um so I you know what actually happened dealing is punishment Superman would come down you know take the side of America destroy Russia immediately America's like well there's no reason to not be imperialistic now we're gonna go take russia and within like 30 years america is now like the undisputed bad guy and then he's got to go be like i have really solidified uh a hegemony of the american people here i need to i'm gonna go join the philippines for a bit they seem to be being okay and then duterte you know after when he's not having uh you know
Starting point is 03:39:59 goddamn superman rip off the arms of drug dealers he's having him attack america like and then eventually superman would just have to leave because he'd be like whatever side i take forms a world government that just dominates everyone so i gotta go i think if i'm superman i become um like supreme leader and i pull everyone under my control and you know maybe each you know split every let maybe let the country stay or something like that. Let them have some sort of representative government. But I'm the final say. And I'm also, like, judge, jury, and executioner as far as any sort of international global conflicts go. Like, if we're having a territorial dispute about where an oil pipeline can go in the Balkansans then i'm gonna be at the meeting and i'm
Starting point is 03:40:46 gonna i'm gonna listen to both sides and say all right well this is how it's gonna be and if it doesn't go the way i want it to be there's gonna be some superman consequences yeah you could do that that doesn't sound as fun i mean do you want to be easier to like go ahead you want to watch this short clip i time stamped it this is this is what i was hoping batman versus superman was gonna be this is from the animated movie and batman is voiced by the guy who voiced robocop whose name's escaping me right now it's a good cartoon like like like i'm i'm not that much into most animated stuff but the batman versus superman cartoon films or whatever you want to call them, are
Starting point is 03:41:26 excellent. I'm ready. Alright, we'll check it out. 328. Haven't been copyright struck since last show. Here we go. Ready, set, play. Oh, you're not going to
Starting point is 03:41:40 kill me. No! Oh, we've seen this before. We watched this together, I think. Yeah, this looks familiar. I know. I've never watched this cartoon. I hate this.
Starting point is 03:41:59 It's great. This is so lame. This idea that, like, I don't know, Superman would actually lose to Batman because Batman is willing to win or something. Meanwhile, he doesn't win either. I love it. Don't worry about my heart. Vangina! And then he has a heart attack but you see he he's like i want you to remember that i'm batman and i can beat you i could have gone harder but that's the knock they use against superman superman
Starting point is 03:42:58 can blow him up with his eyes anytime he wants to but doesn't because he's too soft-hearted meanwhile batman actually wins but wait no he didn because he's too soft-hearted. Meanwhile, Batman actually wins. But wait, no he didn't. He's too soft-hearted too. How is that an argument that Batman is stronger or better capable? With my total lack of understanding, it seems like when you wrestle a kid and you're like, oh no! And then at the end
Starting point is 03:43:17 they're like, you really got me. Yeah, I really got you. Really, you could have overpowered them. I never thought about the laser thing. At any point, you could have just went and zapped him, right? Yes. We could have done that in Vietnam, too, but it wasn't prudent. There's just ways that you
Starting point is 03:43:34 go about doing things, and you can't be like, well, you could have done this. We could have just nuked you. Yeah, but that's not how things were done. But that same argument applies to what Batman just did. Exactly. that's why i make things like this i have nothing to say because i don't know anything about the story i'm not gonna get too caught up in and who should have won this fake cartoon battle but
Starting point is 03:43:54 i say it's superman and i and i that's why i love this movie and if you watch the whole like like movie like like superman's kind of a bad guy in this movie like he's being ordered around by the president and there's a great line earlier on where Superman's like, even if you do beat me, they'll just send someone else. And Batman's like, oh yeah? Who do they send after you? And it's like, yeah, right? Who do they send?
Starting point is 03:44:17 There's no one else. Yeah, if you beat Superman in a 1v1. You've proven your point. Yeah. I love that. He's like, oh oh yeah who do they send after you and then he like i don't know electrocutes him or punches him with some sort of cyber arm or something like that it's good i really enjoyed that oh it was superman versus
Starting point is 03:44:34 batman the live action thing he was like you know i kill you anytime i want i could just blow on you i could look at you like it like this is really ridiculous why are we fighting why would you want this it's like yeah that's that's that's so true batman's my my favorite superhero there this is really ridiculous why are we fighting why would you want this it's like yeah that's that's that's so true batman's my my favorite superhero this is a two-part movie um and in the first part i want to say he's old batman in both ones in the first part i think we've watched this clip as well but he used he's like there's like this mutant like running some gang and it's kind of taken over gotham and he ends up fighting like the mutant badass leader in like a mud pit at the end and he utilizes brazilian jiu-jitsu and like for he's like
Starting point is 03:45:13 he's like this isn't a fight this is a this is an operation and this is my table and he like gets the guy in an arm bar and breaks both of his arms, one after the other, and maybe a knee bar and rips his knee out of joint. It's really kind of brutal for a cartoon because he's literally like... We've seen arm bars, but the guy usually taps and it's all over. He doesn't stop. He just leans all the way back
Starting point is 03:45:39 and snaps the guy's arm and rips it apart. And all of his gang members are like, ah! It's like Fray Ronda Rousey. But she's real jealous rips it apart. And all of his gang members are like, ah! It's like fighting Ronda Rousey. But she's real jealous about that stripper and all that blow you've been doing, and she's coming to break some limbs. On YouTube, as we've been watching. Taylor, do you know
Starting point is 03:45:55 PictureFit? No, I don't know what that is. You're missing PictureFit. It's right up your alley. It's a guy. He's a cartoon triangle. It's a up your alley. So it's a guy. He's a cartoon triangle. Yes. I'm sorry, YouTube channel.
Starting point is 03:46:10 He's a cartoon triangle. And what he does is they're fitness videos, but they're science-backed. So this guy's passion is correlating, collecting, I'll say, like data-driven science on which amino acids actually work and which are bullshit. Oh, this looks cool. What kind of exercise techniques make a difference? And things that, like, what impact does pot have on exercise? Where does sex fit in?
Starting point is 03:46:38 And how would that affect your performance the next day or the next hour or what have you? And it's research-based. So he's not guessing. He's not talking about a sample size of himself like so many fitness guys are. He's a scientist more or less. But he's entertaining and his YouTube pacing is perfect. And I know that you would like him.
Starting point is 03:47:00 I'll check it out. Can masturbation affect gains? Working out high. free weights versus body weights one more is really interesting one more comic book thing the uh daredevil was canceled today oh really the netflix series yeah they canceled it were you guys still liking that or no i'm i just watched the the most recent season that just came out a couple weeks ago or something like that. It wasn't great. They really lost the magic from the first season.
Starting point is 03:47:32 And I don't know. I don't know if it has anything to do with the Disney buyout of Marvel. Maybe, maybe not. But man, the whole thing seems to be going down the drain. I don't think it necessarily does because Jessica Jones is still a thing
Starting point is 03:47:46 and the Punisher are still a thing. And it wasn't like they took them all at once. I think it's related to Disney starting its own streaming service. So Daredevil might be a property they want for themselves. Whereas you can have Jessica Jones. That's my theory. Why would they not want
Starting point is 03:48:05 all of their properties, though? Some suck. Jessica Jones sucks. That's what I'm getting at. And they don't have Jessica. You said that one kept going, right? Well, see, they also canceled Iron Fist, which was the worst. And I think maybe Luke Cage, which was like second worst. They canceled them all
Starting point is 03:48:22 except for Punisher and Jessica Jones. I'm retroactively making this all sense in my head well yeah they canceled the bad ones because they're bad and the good ones because they're good yeah see I got it all figured out Kyle you come to me I don't know about that the media ones they keep going on Netflix I don't know I really enjoyed the first season of Daredevil I like like like I felt like it was filmed so well choreographed so well and I felt like they'd done something
Starting point is 03:48:50 believable about one of these lower tier heroes who's just a guy with some power but he's no world beater and what it would be like to face off against half a dozen Russians in a hallway and it was like yeah I think that's
Starting point is 03:49:05 about what it would look like you get the shit kicked out of you because there's fucking six of them and i i really enjoyed that and then season two was just a shit show and then season three was kind of lame too if i'm being honest i i watched it all but it was better than two but not as good as one i i love the punisher though that that may be my favorite maybe my favorite character god damn I like that yeah I forget what I liked on the Punisher was the Punisher season 2 of Daredevil
Starting point is 03:49:32 yeah I liked that I thought I might have liked season 1 of Punisher I'm not sure I saw it season 1 of Punisher by himself I seem to like less than the world did. I did as well. I felt like they, the story was so drug out.
Starting point is 03:49:53 It felt like there was, I'm going to make up, it felt like four or five or maybe six episodes worth of content, but over the course of 10 or 12 episodes or whatever it was, it was like there was a lot of filler and shit I didn't give a shit about. And like b stories and c stories that i don't fucking care about i just want to see
Starting point is 03:50:10 john berthenal or whatever his name is fucking the punisher i want to see the punisher and i want to see the bad guys and i want to see the bad guys hurting people making me feel angry and upset i want i want the bad guys to be evil i I want them to rape, pillage, murder. I want them to kill kids. I want them to be swapping leukemia drugs out with sugar water for profit, shit like that. And then I want the fucking Punisher to fucking show up and be merciless.
Starting point is 03:50:38 John Wick had it all figured out, right? First 10 minutes of the movie, bad guys kill a puppy. And then the next 80 minutes of the movie bad guys kill a puppy and then the next then the next 80 minutes of the movie john wick kills everyone else hell yeah that's what i need i love those movies i like revenge movies like first step do something awful do something almost unspeakable do the worst thing you can imagine and a lot of times that's rape. You know, like in Death Wish 1, that's what it was. Fucking Jeff Goldblum shows up and rapes the dude's wife and daughter. And it was like, holy shit, you just raped Paul Creasy's wife and daughter?
Starting point is 03:51:17 The daughter's traumatized now? The daughter might have even committed suicide. I don't know if that was the first or second one. She kept getting raped. He never gave her a gun. He just took it upon himself to go out and kill a bunch of poor black guys on the subway who were probably just robbing people
Starting point is 03:51:31 because they needed to feed their family. Meanwhile, Jeff Goldblum never gets caught. He just continues his rape fest. You know what was a crazy near-rape scene? Have you seen Cape Fear? Yeah, with De Niro. De Niro gotiro got pumped deniro got so pumped roids i'm sure but amazing amazing body on deniro super super scary intimidating intimidating and i
Starting point is 03:51:55 could put myself in the shoes of the dad who like tried to reason it at first and then like hired some bad guys and that didn't work. And then it keeps escalating. You can almost deny that he's after you at first. He's talking to your daughter on the phone and she's stupid because she's like 14. And the rape scene I'm talking about, they're on a houseboat. It's going downriver on Cape Fear. It's like Whitewater Rapids.
Starting point is 03:52:21 Everything is going to hell in a handbasket. He doesn't care if he dies. He's got like the wife and the daughter and maybe the dad all handcuffed to the railings or something close to this. And he's like, hey, I have an opportunity to traumatize. And he's going to rape the daughter in front of the parents. And the mom starts begging, rape me instead. And I'm like, whoa, what a decision to make. She's sacrificing herself so that the daughter doesn't have to suffer this. And it's just like, this is some of the most traumatic shit that can happen. And they nailed it in a movie.
Starting point is 03:53:01 And the whole time it's storming. And they're tumultuously going down the river and getting stuck on logs and rocks and they'll keep being like, oh, oh, oh, he's gone. He's gone. And then he'll just show up in the hotel and get us on the boat.
Starting point is 03:53:18 Probably a lot of people watching this haven't seen Cape Fear because it's an older movie and it's a younger audience. But it is next level craziness oh yeah it's the best movies man fucking revenge fucking revenge like film i don't know kill bill's fucking like like comes to mind right away right you know that that's fucking four hours of revenge and and and just you know they they fucking shot her in the head
Starting point is 03:53:42 that for the for the first film she thinks they killed her unborn child and she's just cutting a bloody path with a fucking hanzo sword through anyone and everyone who made it made it happen it was deadly 88 scene was cool when i saw it the first time but on my second viewing of the kill bill series, I was like, this is all right. It's entertaining, but this isn't that good. I disagree. I love the Crazy 88 scene. I love that it goes to black and white. It goes to black and white so they can escape an NC-17, by the way. Yeah, the blood.
Starting point is 03:54:15 That's the same reason in Lord of the Rings all the orc blood is black. Yeah. Imagine it with red blood. Oh, wow. Yeah. Because red blood, you get hit with something harder. But if they're like, I don't want to eat as much orcs and uruk-hai,
Starting point is 03:54:29 but as long as the blood's black, it's okay. Imagine Gimli and Legolas covered in red blood and gore. And every time they chop one of the... It becomes almost comical at one point with the lopping off of the orc heads. Imagine if everyone that gets lopped off fucking blood geysered out like it's Tarantino.
Starting point is 03:54:48 Like it's Jango. You know in Jango when he's just like, bop bop bop bop bop like fanning the fucking revolver and blood is shooting out of these people like they're snack packs or something like that. Like strawberry snack pack blood is just, blow, blow, blow. Like that, but Lord of the Rings.
Starting point is 03:55:05 That'd be some hardcore shit. I'd watch that. Who knows? Maybe that's what the new Lord of the Rings series will be like. Real blood colors. I bet someone's done it. It just seems like such a good idea. Let me watch the Patriots in school. Real blood.
Starting point is 03:55:19 We watched a version of the Patriot in school that had all the blood changed black and it was weird. I bet. I watched Dances with Wol with wolves i think i've told this before with my friend's mom she was like a kindergarten teacher or something second grade maybe she called us her sweet dumplings she never heard a bad word she was just like like really used to dealing with little kids and i'm like dances with wolves is great we should watch it together and i i think of dances as wolves as like uh i don't know guy bonds with indians dances with a wolf or two and eventually leads the indians to safety like that's how i remembered it it is blood and guts and sex and she was just like she called me mateo which was my name in spanish class for
Starting point is 03:56:06 say mateo like how how could you recommend this movie it's like i don't remember it like this that was gory like what'd you uh the patriots like yeah level of of nastiness mateo that's funny what was your uh what was your spanish name k Carlos? Yeah, when you had to take Spanish in school, didn't they? I took sign language! That's so lame. Do you know any of it? A, Y, L, E. Oh, that's what you learned.
Starting point is 03:56:38 Your name, you can say your name. No, I know. I'm pretty sure I know the full alphabet. A, B? Yeah, yeah. B, C? i know most stuff like like um i don't recall i honestly don't i know where that like f i think f is like this and then g is like that this is wp i think i i used to know i definitely knew the full alphabet at the time
Starting point is 03:57:08 when i was 17 i definitely learned i'm a little teapot um i remember my spanish name was tito tito oh from taylor i see it yeah yeah at the time i was so dumb i'm like wow this is what my name translates to in spanish but then later i was like, she was just picking names with the same letter. I think Mateo does transfer. Oh, yeah. For Matthew, that is. Yeah. But Tito is not Taylor.
Starting point is 03:57:35 Tito Ortiz. Yeah. Yeah. It was an easy decision when it was French, Spanish, or sign language. My daughter took Chinese home study. Mandarin or Cantonese? Mandarin, I would assume. Yeah.
Starting point is 03:57:50 And, you know, it was weird. She did it all on her own. And she didn't get great grades, but she got okay grades. And it might have just been passing. That's impressive. No, it's not. Because I'm like, oh, say I like soccer. Right?
Starting point is 03:58:08 That's a thing everyone, like me gusta la football or something, like me gusta la football, and she couldn't. I'm like, say this. Say I'm late for the bus. Strike out, strike out, strike out. Say anything.
Starting point is 03:58:22 Ah, too much pressure. Turns out this girl had been taking online chinese with google translate and just like copy pasting her way through high school oh well no wonder she doesn't know it i mean she could have probably bullshitted you too if you're like say i'm going to the store today to get peaches she'd be like yeah i'll do that let me i gotta go to the bathroom first she comes back and like oh that's amazing nice job there's a part of me that's like well she she didn't learn chinese and that was the goal right but there's another part of me
Starting point is 03:59:02 that's like she may have learned an important lesson in time management and finding an easier route. I don't want to act like life is one big cheat your way through session, but it shocks. If you can find a workaround, then it might be... If you think about it,
Starting point is 03:59:20 she's learning Chinese the same way the Chinese would learn Chinese because they got pissed off about not being able to cheat too but are you guys on me with like the meta lesson in this thing like like do you know of course no yes and no oh interesting yeah you should do it like ideally but like when i took italian i should have learned to speak italian but i definitely phoned it in and took the easy way out more often than not when it was like I'm not gonna learn this and when will I ever need to speak Italian if they make the mistake of doing an online language class and
Starting point is 03:59:52 that's on them like like like to be if we're talking about some real-world like experience that were the regarding getting here it's that look in the real world if you were at your job and you had to do some sort of spreadsheet thing or something like that something you didn't know how to do but you could just go online and like get the information that your boss needed to like complete the project that's what you do you wouldn't go like back to school and learn a thing you just get the job done let's say like oh i'm sorry how about this about this by her doing that she was able to spend much more of her time on other studies that actually required her not only did
Starting point is 04:00:32 they require her attention and focus but they were more relevant studies to like her her future in in in college like math or english or or science this happens all the time in real world right like you're an attorney and i know this happens in real life and you have to take so many hours of cpe continuing professional education and you need to prove that you took these hours and submit it to like whatever the board and say yes i did my 40 hours of continuing professional education this year so what people do is they'll do like the online version, right? Taylor has to freaking take the test and share the answers with the rest of the firm. And now we all have our continual professional education criteria done.
Starting point is 04:01:15 That happens constantly. And maybe she learned that in high school. A little buddy saver there. Like you talking about how she didn't know any of it reminds me of like every king of the hill episode where like peggy's name she's like hola class hola classo me llamo es senorita peggy hill like she's so bad at it she thinks she's fluent but she it's just spanglish it's terrible spanglish and she's she's like every time it comes up like if she's fluent but she it's just spanglish it's terrible spanglish and she's she's like every time it comes up like if she's when they actually go to mexico like like for an episode or two she
Starting point is 04:01:52 looks like a goddamn idiot it's hilarious like the whole point is like she wants to testify to be like to show that she's fluent and defend herself she gets arrested first of all because she accidentally kidnapped a mexican child comes back and then she drops off the mexican kid to her parents and all the mexicans are running at her she's like you do not need to thank me thank uh you know el thanko or whatever the hell she says and then they arrest her she thinks she's getting an award and then she goes to the trial and hank she's like i will testify myself up there and show that i am fluent in spanish and hank's like oh it's probably for the best that you do because she goes up there on the stand he knows yeah and hank knows so she goes up there and answers all these not like the judges asking like so what were
Starting point is 04:02:37 you doing on tuesday in the afternoon and she'll say like in spanish like i was looking at hats through a store window at the market. Or not even something that cohesive. No, it'll be like potato feet, El Caro, Pepsi. And the judge is like, okay, do you know where you are right now, Senora Peggy? Yes, I know where. The local water closet. She's terrible.
Starting point is 04:03:10 She doesn't fucking speak Spanish. And she's a Spanish. Sometimes she fills in as a Spanish teacher. It's pretty ridiculous. That's such an underrated show. I love it. Do you remember what Boomhauer's job was? Dang old man, I don't fucking know what I'm up to.
Starting point is 04:03:26 Dang old Texas Ranger, man. Law enforcement. Oh, really? I don't fucking know what i'm eating you know i don't think i'm texas ranger man law enforcement oh really i don't remember that yeah uh bill's a army barber uh dale's obviously an exterminator and hank so it's pro i like when he's dale's always like nancy need help. And she'll come out with John Redcorn. He'll be like, thank God you're here, John Redcorn. I need help. They're always like wearing a towel or something like that. John Redcorn's shirtless inexplicably. Like it's like, come on.
Starting point is 04:03:57 I like that episode where Dale gets knocked out with his own poison gas or some shit. And he comes to in the hospital. He's like, ah ah the harvest has begun he's pulling out all of his wires and sprinting away uh i'm gonna watch some of that show as i have a snack after after this that's going to eat after this i'm gonna have a little little uh bit of meat and cheese maybe or maybe i know actually i got a vegetable tray i'll have some some some carrots what are you gonna do Is there going to be a dip involved? No, I'll just eat carrots.
Starting point is 04:04:27 That's good for you. I have chicken vindaloo. That sounds good. I got chicken vindaloo for lunch, and I just split the portion in half, and I figured I'd eat half of it for lunch and half of it for dinner. And it's going to be spicy as fucking delicious. Chicken vindaloo
Starting point is 04:04:43 is like potatoes, chicken, and like this crazy spicy brownish red sauce with rice. be spicy as fucking delicious. Chicken vidaloo is like potatoes, chicken, and like this crazy spicy brownish red sauce with rice. It's so fucking spicy. It's so good. Very cool. Yeah. Call it a wrap. Are there any post rolls, Kyle?
Starting point is 04:04:55 Nope. All right. Painkiller Ready 415. Be sure to subscribe to this channel because you like it. Miyama S. Peggy Q.

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