Painkiller Already - Painkiller Already #423

Episode Date: February 1, 2019

On this week's PKA, this week we have Rob aka Comics Explained come on the show to finally shoot the shit with everyone about all things superhero and Marvel, in addition to that Taylor recounts every...one with his epic adventure using Bluechew for the first time and then the guys look into a crazy woman who done axed some people up in a 7-11. Classic PKA.

Transcript
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Starting point is 00:00:00 Pinkular Ready, episode 423. Our guest Rob from Comics Explained will be joining us about halfway through. Kyle? Few sponsors tonight. Casper, Audible, GetQuip, BlueChew, which I'm very excited about, MeUndies, and RoosterTeeth. In 50 years in the future, a daring team is recruited to pilot a new form of weaponized neuroscience that powers devastating mecha.
Starting point is 00:00:23 But they must be willing to sacrifice everything to save the world jen lock is a new animated series starring michael b jordan maizey williams and david tennant stream it free now exclusively on rooster teeth that's pretty impressive they've got some serious uh star power there with michael b jordan and maizey and you know that's aria from game of Thrones? I know that, Taylor. I could have used the reminder. I'm probably not alone. There's probably someone out there who also benefited from that. It's my understanding Michael B. Jordan
Starting point is 00:00:53 was not just a basketball player. He's the Black Panther. He's both. He's both. We've all seen Space Jam. Who was that? That was loud as fuck. That wasn't my notification. Looks like my Postmates is on the way. Mute your fucking notifications.
Starting point is 00:01:12 Don't know how to do that. That's the last one, though, so don't worry. No, because you always order two or three different things. I got one coffee, Taylor. Just one. Why did they do that? That's so fucking funny that you postmates a coffee. I'm almost here with my cinnamon
Starting point is 00:01:28 dolce latte. Did you wake up recently? Or are you hankering for some cinnamon latte? I felt a little drained. I woke up quite early this morning with not a ton of sleep, and I felt a little low energy coming into the show, especially with all of the vodka that I was consuming.
Starting point is 00:01:43 And I thought, I need a bit of caffeine to, to ride high into this thing. So we're at like energy level four out of 10 right now, but Hannah is about to knock on the door any second now. And we're going to hook this on up to a 10. I think if I zoom in, she's almost in the driveway. Oh, she's here. Yeah, she's here. I'll keep her in anticipation. Yeah, we've got a little, I've been low energy too lately Because of all the vodka right? Yes that's it
Starting point is 00:02:13 No I so I got a cold and I think I sound good now But I don't feel great You sound back to normal That's my interpretation of me too I might have some Sudafed and stuff that helps But I'm just feeling a little Jesus normal. That's my interpretation of me, too. I might have some Sudafed and stuff. That helps. But, uh, I'm just feeling a little white.
Starting point is 00:02:28 Jesus fucking Christ, Kyle. I only ordered one thing. I bet we're gonna get two more of those fuckers. Yeah, there's one. There's one left. Here comes the third. One left, yeah. Huh? Yeah, there were
Starting point is 00:02:43 three more, asshole. Of course. You ordered what? huh yeah yeah there were three more assholes of course you heard what i didn't hear your words yeah starbucks how much was that starbucks i don't know nine dollars all together like after delivery delivery and everything you know if i'd spent six more dollars the delivery would have been free but that's's excessive. That would be $15 for two cups of coffee. And I already have a 96-ounce traveler bucket that I ordered from yesterday morning in the fridge. But I wanted a hot coffee, and I wanted it now. Do you tip?
Starting point is 00:03:15 Does the $9 include the tip? I don't know how tipping works with Postmates. I didn't really dress. I tip after the fact. And I'll say, I just saw Hannah at the door. I tip after the fact. I'll say I just saw Hannah at the door. She was wearing camouflage sweatpants and a really ugly top.
Starting point is 00:03:30 Her hair wasn't done very well. She just said, thank you. I was clearly dressed up nicely. I've got a button-up on. Was she ugly or old? She was young. I wouldn't say she was a beauty or anything. Was she a large gal? Well, Buffalo Bill would have been licking his chops if he'd seen her in a parking
Starting point is 00:03:47 lot i'll put it that way he could have it vomits her lunch in the bucket or else it gets the hose again trying to make a girl lose weight in the pit that was his real thing he's a size 12 something like that you know she'd she'd make a good skin suit but i'm fucking bad at knowing women's sizes and things but 12 sounds big 12 is not small 12 is not small um you're looking for a six is just fine a four is a little better a two you're pretty goddamn skinny and a zero is just you know that's an eating kind of sickly almost always yeah yeah what is six like zeros can be hot i would argue that like the victoria's secret models often are zeros but they're also like six foot four gangly as fuck and they only look good with like that like fluffed
Starting point is 00:04:33 garbage bag on their head and like the big shoulder pads as they're parading down that ridiculous thing who goes to those things like what kind of smarmy goes to a fashion show where you can't even wear the clothes they're seeing where it's like, oh, actually, she's covered in semen. Not because I'm definitely not masturbating in my pants right now. It's just a take on women's objectification and pornography. It's a literal like high-end strip club, like strip show. They're like walking down the runway and just like titties are out. Like I don't mean like a lot of cleavage.
Starting point is 00:05:04 I mean their titties are out. Just completely topical. I a lot of cleavage. I mean their titties are out. Just completely top. I don't know this for a fact. I don't know this for a fact, but I imagine this is their best day, right? Like UFC fighters, they do weight cuts for the weigh-ins. I imagine they do that for the Victoria's Secret thing,
Starting point is 00:05:19 that they don't live continually at that level of hotness, that they spike their hotness for a big show like that. I think anorexia is a way of life. Yeah. Like, a lot of those women are clearly anorexic. I prefer bulimics, okay? Really? I'm an anorexic guy. Tell me why. It could hurt me. Well, vomit's sexy. We all know I'm into that.
Starting point is 00:05:43 And I like that rotted tooth look that you get after a while of bulimia where i'm not sure if you're the hottest method on the planet or you're just victoria secret uh fashion there was a reddit chick who posted her like this is me 18 months ago as a meth addict and this is me now and i've never been happier in my life and i'm like yeah i don't know i think you were hotter 18 months ago though i saw that it looked did you comment that that'd be pretty no i'm not a horrible person i just only am on the show all the count taylor use a burner account yeah kyle did you also agree she was a little hotter i i could tell that she was
Starting point is 00:06:23 using a lot of makeup before that that wasn't required after because it was she probably had like really bad dark circles and like fatigue like those scratch marks they get those meth heads yeah that's excessive but like everybody thinks oh you do meth once you become you become a monster you can do meth three days a week and be fine no you know what meth is one corner that I will stand with Nancy Reagan. We really do need to crack down. Meth and opioid abuse. But I mean,
Starting point is 00:06:52 but I mean, cocaine. Every movie I've seen people using cocaine, all those people were super, super cool. Oh God. What did Steve-O do? Steve-O did a recent interview and he's discussing his drug addictions in the past. And he was like, yeah, I was really into cocaine and I had this dealer and he just had everything and i
Starting point is 00:07:10 call him he didn't answer his phone so i just went over and he was passed out and i'm shaking him and shaking he's alive you know he won't wake up so i go to the living room and there's been so much cocaine done on the table dude that there's just a residue of cocaine now what you got to keep in mind is he was hiv positive and he injected cocaine and something about injecting cocaine you spray blood everywhere once you do it so the whole room is covered in hiv positive blood and as i'm scraping up his leftover coke i noticed that it too is covered in hiv positive blood so i you know i snorted it all oh my god as you do hey this is this is steve-o and this is rolling the dice wait could you get hiv from snorting blood yeah yeah absolutely you could well i would imagine
Starting point is 00:08:11 that the hiv dies like i think i'm just guessing but i think if you have dried blood at some point it stops being hiv positive absolutely does when it when it meets open air however woody if i paid you five hundred thousand,000, forget the cocaine part, would you snort HIV-tainted powdered sugar? Yeah, yeah. The answer is no. I don't know if I would. No, I wouldn't do it.
Starting point is 00:08:35 Jackie's over there like. Yeah, she would say no. She's not the risk taker that I am. My risk tolerance is a little higher than average. She's taking the risk too she's getting the 500 grand if it doesn't work out you know if you're an intravenous drug user and you have hiv seems like a good excuse to not have to share right but then now because clearly the addiction is stronger than the fear of hiv
Starting point is 00:09:02 so i don't know i feel like if you could tell other people you're HIV positive, all the lightweight meth heads, all the rookies stop asking for your stuff. The weekend abusers. Oh no, I'm a weekend user of meth. There's got to be a dude out there who's like,
Starting point is 00:09:20 lots of people like to smoke pot, lots of people like to drink. I see no problem with my meth use as long as I keep it to Friday and Saturday night. Me and my friends like to go paint scary things on walls and yell at gas station attendants behind bulletproof glass in the city. Who are you to judge? I'm a meth head, but I'm still performing at work. So, you know, really, what's the issue? Maybe even better than you would normally.
Starting point is 00:09:40 Maybe. Well, it depends on the job. I always mix up meth in the other one. What's the one that makes you happy and see the beauty in every raindrop well all of them are the reason they do them is because it makes them happy so heroin is is is essentially going to tranquilize you and you're going to be in a in a euphoric state of of i mean it's it's in the same family as um as um what's the opioid what's the super painkiller morphine it's the same family as what's the super painkiller? Morphine.
Starting point is 00:10:07 It's the same family as all of that stuff. You're essentially shooting morphine. So you're happy, but you're also tranquilized. Meth is the one that is in the same family as Adderall. So it's gearing you up. It's what the Nazis were using during the Blitzkrieg. They were using amphetamines to keep that war machine rolling with little sleep and little food. How different are they?
Starting point is 00:10:32 Actually, the way you laid that out for me was actually super helpful because I feel like I understand morphine and Adderall more than the others. How different is meth from Adderall? Are they pretty similar? There's just more. I've spoken to people who have done both and they say they're very similar that they would. And I've talked to people that they would compare cocaine and Adderall and
Starting point is 00:10:54 say like, I've heard that. Yeah. And I've heard people say Adderall is better than cocaine, that it does the same thing and it does it more. Yeah. I've heard those things. I haven't done any of those illegal drugs, then cocaine that it like does the same thing and it does it more yeah i've heard those things um i
Starting point is 00:11:05 haven't done any of those illegal drugs um but i've obviously done adderall um plenty because i've had a prescription prescription for it many times in the past i could get another if i if i wished to have one uh it's great i love adderall big fan of it it's a performance enhancing drug for your daily life my understanding is adderall like it's not one of those drugs like um taylor always knows the names of them like a prozac right like a prozac if you take it today you don't notice anything you have to be on it for like six eight weeks oh before it kicks in adderall's immediately i had one adderall ever in my life someone in my my universe gave me an Adderall. And I didn't even notice it. Do you know what kind of it was? No.
Starting point is 00:11:51 Instant release Adderall. And you needed more Adderall, clearly. That's all that happened there. Well, my dose was too low. Yeah, I didn't. It was the same as any other day. The dose was too low. Yeah, I didn't. It was the same as any other day. Yeah. Well, I have always noticed a massive difference when I take Adderall in like tons of facets. But yeah, Steve-O was snorting HIV positive cocaine. And then he described drinking things like aluminum cleaner and having terrible experiences on that.
Starting point is 00:12:24 Does that get you high? Or is he just experimenting with anything? that does that get you high it gets you just experimenting with anything yeah apparently gets you high um no i'm serious like you know the there's like a maybe it's a documentary or just like a youtube documentary i don't know but it's when steve-o was like totally crashing and burning and struggling with his addiction badly and it was like johnny knoxville who really worked hard to get him out of it and it was someone maybe like Johnny walking around Steve-O's apartment at the time or one of the places he was staying and it was like you know
Starting point is 00:12:52 whippets like those cans that you inhale the nitrous oxide or whatever yeah and his apartment's just littered just like can't walk around on the floor hardly there's so many of those there's like a bunch of glass pipes and everything it's just like can't walk around on the floor harley there's so many of those there's like a bunch of glass pipes and everything it's just like like a grab bag of every drug and he's like not even with it and so it's kind of nice that like would you if you go back 10 years or when did he get sober
Starting point is 00:13:19 10 years ago like i don't know let's say 15 years ago jackass 2 i think he was still getting fucked up with jackass 2 would anybody have guessed oh yeah uh 13 years from now steve-o is going to be sober living a healthy life still in shape and ryan dunn's gonna be dead yeah that like like if you could have guessed anything you could have been like in 15 years steve-o will be dead yeah i'm saying if they had a poll everyone would have picked Steve-o number one everyone to be dead. Yeah as the dead guy as the dead guy Yeah, or Johnny because Johnny always pushed pushed the envelope in a scary kind of way Yeah, Johnny more likely to die from One of his tricks. Yeah, like a stunt or something that the the nitrous oxide was one of his favorite drugs
Starting point is 00:14:01 He was the guy was like, what are your favorite drugs? I expected him to name two. He's like, I really love cocaine. Not a big meth guy, but I never turn it down. I'm just like, wait, you've never turned it down? Your Stevo's getting good.
Starting point is 00:14:20 If I ever wanted to fit in with drug users in high school, I would tell them I had done nitrous oxide, the Whippets, because you get it at the dentist, and I knew exactly what was up. I could describe it. I could talk about how long it lasts,
Starting point is 00:14:35 how quickly it wore off, what the high was like. An hour after I tried it, I woke up. The tooth was gone, and everything was fine. The downside of Whippets is you wake up with a filling yeah did you ever do like a funny drug seeking behavior and like young people it's like purposefully having shitty oral health so they can go get nitrous oxide that's funny yeah kyle i did actually do it one time at a steve miller There was a guy with like an, it looked like an oxyacetylene tank, like chin high, whatever that would be, a really big one.
Starting point is 00:15:11 And he sold it by the balloon that you could like, you know the balloons you punch with a rubber band? A buck a balloon, yeah. And what did you call it? Like a buck a balloon, like a dollar a balloon, something like that. I think it might have been a little more than that. But yeah, so me and my friends all split a a pretty large balloon and um if people have never done whippets it's a really good time for a really short time it lasts like i don't know 15 seconds
Starting point is 00:15:40 like it's not a long high i don't like it i walked in on two of my friends in high school we were throwing a party at my parents house and we were all it was kind of understood like you know if you're getting fucked up just sleep somewhere in the basement like don't drive uh and it was like it was all over like two in the morning like i wake up from that like drank a bunch of like my mouth is so dry and like i stand up and walk to the kitchen and like i see i can't even rehydrate by closing i walk like i walk towards the kitchen and like i see two of my my friends they were they were more uh well not like kind of tangential friends not like direct more a friend of a friend and And they were standing like right near
Starting point is 00:16:25 the fridge to where like they're both angled in and I can only see the light coming like from behind them as I'm coming behind. And I hear like a tsss tsss tsss. And I'm like, what's going on? What are you guys doing? It's like two in the morning. And like they turned around and like put something
Starting point is 00:16:42 back in the fridge real quick. And like I walked over there just to look and like tried the turned around and, like, put something back in the fridge real quick. And, like, I walked over there just to look and, like, tried the whipped cream. And it was just. It was a full thing of whipped cream now with no air in it because these guys had decided to get high off of it. And it seemed like the biggest waste of a high ever. It's like you're going to waste a whole can of whipped cream to feel weird for 13 seconds. Dude, it's not their whipped cream. It's not even your whipped cream, asshole.
Starting point is 00:17:06 Whipped cream is the only aerosol that hasn't been tainted yet by manufacturers preventing you from getting high off of it. I think people used to use those cans of compressed air you use to clean your keyboards and stuff. Yeah. I would never do something as insane as that. I would imagine there's terrible, terrible chemicals in there. Forget a cigarette having some tar in it. There's got to be some awful shit in there but i like to use them to clean my keyboard and stuff and to be honest they're fun if you turn them upside turn the can upside down and use like a freeze ray against things i've been in bed and
Starting point is 00:17:39 like i don't know i was watching tv and i noticed my laptop had gotten to about 200 fucking degrees on the corner of it because it wasn't able to ventilate. And it was literally slowing down the GPU in my laptop to the point where like videos wouldn't play. And I was like, I'm going to supercharge this bitch. So I take the can of compressed air, turn it upside down, and I freeze the whole innards of the laptop, the exterior, and get it down to the point where it's chilled now. YouTube video starts streaming just fine what i didn't realize is that particulates had rained over everything in my vicinity including all my beverage my hands and then i ate and it's in my mouth and it's like if
Starting point is 00:18:17 you've ever gotten deodorant on your tongue and it's just that awful bitter taste that stays with you yeah get it out i'm brushing my tongue with a toothbrush like like rinsing with with with mouthwash it won't go away it was awful in my i've done that before too and like my dad's study when i was little where i figured out like i don't know anything about harmful chemicals i just know whoa do you know if you turn this upside down you could be like mr freeze and i like remember he wasn't home because he would have never let me play with it like went into his office area and like shook it it up and held it upside down and went like, pretending.
Starting point is 00:18:49 I sprayed so much. And I remember after five seconds of that, I was just like, just coughing a lung up because it's just a cloud of frozen cancer, effectively. You know the group of potheads in high school? You see it. They're all friends together. Yeah yeah the cool kids maybe but in my high school like there are kids you didn't think would go in anywhere that that group some of them had like rotten teeth they worked at the grocery store just so they had like a non-stop supply of the ready whip or whatever it is that they just do
Starting point is 00:19:22 whippets and they do like a case hiding in the back room and then put them out there all with no aerosol if you abuse whippets do you get any sort of like do you lose brain cells you do yeah i think that's that's exactly the downside of them yeah i knew kids we'd be in like shop class and metal and metals actually which is welding class and machine welding machine shop and we had a gasoline generator in the tool room you know there's tons of stuff in the tool room gloves and hammers and picks and welding supplies and materials and safety gear but there's also a small electric uh small gasoline generator and i walk in there to get some welding gloves and a slag hammer i'm going to do some welding work and i look and there thomas is huffing the gasoline straight from the generator.
Starting point is 00:20:05 What is he, an aboriginal? Yeah, right? And a couple other guys are watching him, and he comes up from it, and his eyes look dead. And he's just like, ah, yeah. And then another guy, he's like, move out of the way, man. Let me hit this. And I'm just like, well, I'm going to be on my way.
Starting point is 00:20:21 Huffing gasoline? Huffing gasoline. Can you still do that in America? Do they make it not nice to huff or anything? I guess you could, but we have so many fun drugs. Gasoline has never been nice to huff, I don't think. I don't know where I'm getting this. I thought we said on the show one time that they put an additive to gasoline that make it worse to huff. They do that to isopropyl alcohol, like rubbing alcohol.
Starting point is 00:20:47 I believe they add something to that. I know they certainly did during Prohibition, and a lot of people died from drinking it. But I don't know about gasoline. I know gasoline is different than it used to be. It doesn't have benzene in it anymore, which is one of the extreme carcinogens that used to be in gasoline. It's one of the reasons why making napalm with modern gasoline is a bit difficult unless you order a little benzene off the internet. But I can't
Starting point is 00:21:10 imagine that it's good to huff. Or ever was. Most of the drug's not good. Except marijuana, which is pretty much health food, I'm told. Marijuana, kale, eggplant. You know, of all the 19-year-olds I know that smoke pot,
Starting point is 00:21:27 none of them have glaucoma. Clearly it's working as some sort of glaucoma prophylactic. What was that Simpsons episode from like, God, what, 25 years ago now? Where they start doing like a bear patrol or something. He's like, see Lisa, the bear patrol keeps the bears away. She's like, Dad, by that that logic this rock keeps tigers away because as long as this rock has been here There's never been a tiger. He's like hmm. What do you want for your tiger repellent? Logic it's a
Starting point is 00:22:03 Really the thing that makes the the best case for weed isn't even like the weed proponents. It's all the other worst drugs where they should. They can just be like, hey, but look at that guy. And it's like a fair point. My favorite case for weed, like legalization of weed. you're talking about specifically is like the damage that weed does to life compared to the damage that prosecuting weed does to life and society is totally out of whack if we just legalized weed a whole bunch of people would not be criminals anymore and yeah like i don't see what we're getting out of incarcerating so many people and and like you come out of jail and
Starting point is 00:22:43 you're financially ruined that's a big problem right because a lot of your money gets exhausted while you're away and then it's difficult to get a regular job again and that um like what we're doing to people for stupid stuff is uh it's not good for society yeah and like just um the thing i that i jumped to like that's a good point too and the reason they'd lock them up is because the fucking private prison lobby is so powered. I mean, I'm sure in the grand scheme of things, they're not in the most powerful circle of lobbies, but they're powerful enough to keep shit
Starting point is 00:23:12 illegal just because they want to keep a constant stream of people fed into their system. And it's like, this is beyond immoral. To be like, no, you need to lock that guy up. He was smoking a leaf that is pretty much fine, and he was doing it on his own, or he was selling a small amount on a street corner or something like, I don't know. During the Obama administration, I'm sorry, he was making moves towards getting rid of private prisons.
Starting point is 00:23:35 And then they backed off that position. And then Trump comes along and they're like, you know, this private prison thing really isn't good. This should be a public service, not a for-profit enterprise because their motives aren't aligned with good for society. And then he backed off. I'm like, what the fuck is happening behind the scenes for the last 10 years in a row? They must be way more powerful than we even know to be shutting that down. They have the P-tapes. And Obama's P-tapes too to make this real. They have Obama's and Trump's and trump's and bush's
Starting point is 00:24:06 and clinton's and hw bush it's all common law in the case of the democrats it would be some sort of comet pizza tape but i'm gonna start myself you know i want to document some of this debauchery that goes on behind the scenes of what i'd be peeing on people. I mean, I don't care what president it is. We'd start calling you R. Kyle. R. Kyle, that's good. I think the biggest benefit to legalizing weed is suddenly this opioid problem that nobody seems to take that seriously outside of communities where it's devastating. Devastating communities.
Starting point is 00:24:42 Like, it would help those people tremendously. Like, it still would help their pain. It would help those people tremendously. It still would help their pain. It would help manage that. Sure, it's not as powerful as a lot of those pills, but they're not going to get addicted to it. I don't remember the facts, so I'll make them up, but it's like a quarter of people who get prescribed.
Starting point is 00:25:00 No, I'm making it up. Three quarters of people who get prescribed those get addicted. Oh, get addicted. I've never been prescribed one. Yeah. But a ton of people get addicted. I have. I think I have. I guess like, oh, fuck me.
Starting point is 00:25:13 What's that cough syrup that's outrageous that little Wayne likes to get fucked up on? Oh, SysRip. Codeine. Codeine. Yeah, I've been prescribed codeine. I think that's in there too. Yeah. A friend of mine uh this
Starting point is 00:25:25 was this was like early college he like some song that was talking about scissor for codeine or something uh like i think scissor is when you like mix codeine with like sprite or like that watermelon arizona tea and like candies like you can do it with that yeah and so he just hadite and codeine and like we were all like just having a normal night, you know, over the summer or whatever, like drinking, hanging out. And we were like, hey, you want a beer or something? He's like, no, I got some lean for tonight. I was like, all right, well, you know, the rest of us are just drinking beer and stuff, right? Like you'll be the only one. He's like, I'm going to use it, dude. Like I got it from my fucking brothers uh he didn't want it anymore or something
Starting point is 00:26:09 and so like probably three hours in you know we're all pretty drunk we're like i guess this is like summer after my first year of college so i'm maybe like 20 and and we're all hanging out drinking maybe three hours into it you know he starts drinking his lean about an hour later after that you know for about an hour he was still with it he was like doing fine he drank it way too quick and almost immediately like we're all still having a great time and he has to like sit down clutching his head like i'm gonna he's like guys i i think i'm dying oh no guys i i genuinely i need to go to the hospital i'm dying guys and i head like i'm gonna he's like guys i i think i'm dying oh no guys i i genuinely i need to go to the hospital i'm dying guys and i'm like i told you we were all getting drunk none of
Starting point is 00:26:50 us are driving you get a taxi to the hospital if you want to go you're so sweet and we're not gonna drive drunk and get in trouble for right i told him not to drink the codeine prison drink the way the story goes it doesn't it's not you're not dripping with compassion in this. I told you, you idiot. Yeah, but he also was so into the I'm going to be a cool rap guy that he even put it in two styrofoam cups stacked on top of each other.
Starting point is 00:27:16 That's the way you drink lean if you're a cool rapist. You pour the lean in there. Yeah, rapist. One who raps. And he drank that. And he drank that. And he got... He got so fucked up that he literally called his way older
Starting point is 00:27:33 sister, who wanted nothing to do with this, and at like two in the morning made her drive and then take him to the hospital just for them to be like, you know, we could get you in trouble for having this much of this in your system right now. He's like, just make sure I don't die. And then take him to the hospital just for them to be like, you know, we could get you in trouble for having this much of this in your system right now. He's like, just make sure I don't die. And then he didn't die and he never leaned again or whatever the word is for doing lean.
Starting point is 00:27:53 So there's a lesson for you kids. Stick to meth. Yeah. At least be cool about it. Or no, Coke. Coke is for like, look at Wolf of Wall Street. They were successful. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:28:07 You make millions in the stock market if you do Coke. Coke is for like, look at Wolf of Wall Street. They were successful. Yeah, you make millions in the stock market if you do Coke. I think Coke makes you lose weight too. Sure. Any of those like Adderall, cocaine, meth, crack, it's all going to destroy your appetite. We downloaded this program in Rust that allows you to do artwork without having to actually do it. And here's what one side of the base looks like so you've got me as Napoleon
Starting point is 00:28:30 Bonaparte with an AK on the left you've got me a Scarface and the cocaine has been replaced with sulfur which is a desirable item in the game and then I don't have them all which I did there's a whole collage of Wings of Redemption on the other side of the base
Starting point is 00:28:46 where it's like all of his famous poses, like the one where he's got four fingers in his mouth licking them clean. That's on there. Him in the sombrero. There's a gangster grandma on one of the doors. And then if you try to, like, invade the base, the first thing you would see if you blew our gates off the hinges is Blue Boy Woody going,
Starting point is 00:29:08 No one likes you. You think people watch you because they like you? You're like a NASCAR driver who hits the wall every week and thinks that people are watching him for his driving skills. The entire industry has cropped up on hating you. You're giving a lot of credit to the people you're playing with to infer all of that. I still have this paint.
Starting point is 00:29:27 If you guys want to come play with us, we're on the Cobra Kai server. I think there's only room for 150 players and there's already probably 70 to 100 in there. If you want to come play with us, come play with us. What is the team size on the Cobra Kai server? You're not going to get to play with us.
Starting point is 00:29:42 You can play on the same server as us. We can be friends. You can have 30 people on a team. So I could fill the team up. But it's one of those things where I don't know who I'm adding to the team who might just de-spark. Oh, sure. Sure, yeah. I talked about the...
Starting point is 00:29:58 I probably haven't mentioned WoodyCraft yet. But yeah, you get people infiltrating, pretending to be your friend for a long time, robbing you blind. And look, I don't look down upon that, but I'm not stupid enough to open myself up to it. So I kind of have a tight-knit group of friends that I've been playing with for three, four years or something like that. And those are the people who I play with. But if you want to play alongside us in the same server and be enemies, that's fine. Or associates, that's fine.
Starting point is 00:30:22 Or if you just want to bring me things, that's okay too. How big is your team? 10 maybe 10 guys i look forward to seeing how this one plays out because i'm inventing a lot of this in my head but i feel like if you're on a server that allows 30 man teams you're swimming with sharks you know they can only roam four at a time they can so if they try to hurt us we can defend our base with 10 men 20 men 30 men but they can only attack it with four so that gives defensive defenders a huge advantage it's much more hard it's much more difficult to attack than it is to defend and if you're out roaming around in the wilderness looking for fights then it's always a 4v4 um and if if they have five men
Starting point is 00:31:03 um i know the admin and i can quickly like hit him up on discord and be like get over here real quick look at this there's five of them and he'll literally fly like jesus christ over and be like you do not belong you know they get a warning and then they get a ban we we ran into some cheaters the other night and and uh and i was like look i want to keep playing here this was all on stream too i was like he was, I want to keep playing here. This was all on stream, too. I was like, he was in our Discord, like, and all this happened live on stream. I was like, we want to play on your server. We like you. We've purchased your items.
Starting point is 00:31:31 But we're not going to play with that guy. So either he goes or we go. He's cheating. He's like, I don't think he's cheating. Well, even if you don't think he's cheating, he's toxic. So it's him or us. And there's 10 of us. There's one of him.
Starting point is 00:31:40 And it's like, XYZ has been banned. And I was like, all right. Good game. And then and then like i guess someone told him who i was and he was kind of a quasi fan or i knew who i was and he's like you guys want to go on a chinook ride and he like lands a massive helicopter that is not a player item at our base like tour and then he lands a car also not a player item and gives me a car to drive around he was he's a fun guy so it's it'sobra Kai, just like the Karate Kid bad guys. That's the name of the server.
Starting point is 00:32:10 Feel free to join and play with us. It's fun to be admin. So you're doing a whole new base now because this one with all your murals is destroyed, right? Yeah. My people are at work right now. They've been working all day on the new base. My people?
Starting point is 00:32:25 My people, my friends, my associates, my colleagues. Yes. Your comrades. My comrades. When I was admin, people used to pick on Colin. He'd jump on the server and want to make friends, but he was wearing good gear. So if it was possible to kill him,
Starting point is 00:32:39 they'd often kill him and then strip his stuff. And, you know, you do that for a while, but then it gets to be like, man, they're targeting him in a way they wouldn't target other people. His head was valuable. They'd want to put it on their walls and such. That's funny. Yeah. So sometimes
Starting point is 00:32:55 when he was... When it was hurting his feelings, it's like I got you, bro. And I would give him superhuman powers such that he would do okay in like a 50 V1. And he would just slaughter people like Sauron. Do I have the name right, Taylor? Hell yeah, you do.
Starting point is 00:33:13 Yeah. And that was always fun to do. They'd all be whacking on him. His health regenerated so quick. He didn't need armor. It was a blast. I was... Oh, this isn't video game related but i was at
Starting point is 00:33:27 night my hair cut today and i looked at my my back in the the mirror after my shower this morning you know just seeing how bad my neck hair was because my hair my neck hair is so bad that it'll grow into into my beard like just because it's just nothing but hair. You've got to do something with that. The back of your head connects to the back of my head. It's on ear island is what it creates. It'll just come straight around here. Not as thick as my facial hair
Starting point is 00:33:58 but it comes all around. Chin strap you can work out. You've got to do that DNA test. The ballistic helmets that go front and back. You're part Neanderthal and i don't know i definitely am zero zero one percent i mean you're like three percent neanderthal how fucking funny would that be if it was like wow local missouri man found with 13 percent neanderthal dna the highest ever found you know legally changed my name like a gluck legally human the homer simpson skull alone
Starting point is 00:34:26 seems like a clue right like anyway please carry on with your your back hair story no oh yeah the back hair story like uh and i i was looking at it in the mirror and like over the months in the years like i've like it's been slow enough that i haven't noticed the creeping on the back and the creeping into the shoulders. And I realized today, as the woman cutting my hair was doing that thing where they pull the back of your shirt down a bit to touch you up. And she was pulling my shirt way down and still not getting enough. And I was like, God, in my head, I'm like, I've left my golden ratio, golden zone of hair. I'll never go back to that.
Starting point is 00:35:04 There's no way I'll grow more up here. This is what I've got. It's not receding anything, so I'm okay with that. Before, my chest was nice and full, but not a bunch of stuff up here, not anything on the shoulders. Now I feel like every other day I take a look at my right
Starting point is 00:35:20 and I'm like, how did this get two inches long already? I'm like, I this get two inches long already and so i'm i'm like i'm not looking forward to having to like really either maintain my body hair as i get older or being that guy who's at like public pools or a vacation thing and they're like wow he must be greek is there a permanent solution for it like a trial electrolysis is that there is but i'm not gonna do that for my shoulders and the back. Why not? It's not that expensive.
Starting point is 00:35:47 They take tweezers that are connected to an electrical supply. They grab the hair. They electrify the root. They pluck it out. It's gone forever. I mean, if I do that, I'm going to wait until the situation gets a little more dire. What's forever, though? Right? It destroys the follicle,
Starting point is 00:36:03 so it will no longer allow the creation of hair. But I, so anyone who's lived with a woman knows that they just freaking shed, right? Like the hair comes out from the root and it's my impression. And I just invented this on my own that like, I don't know, hair follicles transfers.
Starting point is 00:36:19 You get new ones, you lose old ones. Cause how else could women shed for decades and not, not go bald. It's absolutely forever. Hairs will fall out, but the follicle's still good. It's like cutting the top of the corn plant off and the root's still under there
Starting point is 00:36:33 growing new corn, but if you were to grab that corn plant and electrify it, now the root's gone. The whole plant's dead. It's never coming back again. Like my belly hair. You know in Lord of the Rings where it shows how Isengard is creeping into Fangorn Forest? It's never coming back again. Like my belly hair at this, you know, in Lord of the Rings where it shows how Isengard is creeping into, into Fangorn forest. It's the inverse of that.
Starting point is 00:36:50 Fangorn forest is creeping into otherwise hairless lands and it's just slowly expanding, you know, across the torso. And so at some point I'll have to, you know, get this done. And your old hair,
Starting point is 00:37:02 many of these hairs were my friend. I knew them. Follicle. My hair situation, I might argue, is improving. Which is, I mean, I wish my body fat situation was improving. If I could have a choice, I would go that direction. But as a teenager,
Starting point is 00:37:22 my hair pretty much just grew around the nipple. Like sunflowers, perhaps. That is I think my least favorite hair pattern. As an adult, it's not thick, but at least it's chest hair.
Starting point is 00:37:37 What was once two lone islands is now sparsely populated chest hair, which I think is better. This area here, I'm also starting to shave this area because is now sparsely populated chest hair, which I think is better. Yeah. This area here, I'm also starting to shave this area because I'm getting that...
Starting point is 00:37:50 The throat? Yeah, because my chest hair grows up. And so I don't want to look like an Italian porn star. And so I started trimming that a little bit. Can I put in a request for you to look like an Italian porn star at least one show? Can I do one? Just one or two shows, if you could do that.
Starting point is 00:38:09 I'd like to get some snaps. I'll snap you on our private chat. Thanks, thanks. I promise not to masturbate to it a lot. I'm envious of both of your hair situations in that way. I feel like Woody's in a happy medium
Starting point is 00:38:30 between us and i feel like kyle you're never going to have to worry about a too much hair situation no no i have a strip of hair down the center of my chest that doesn't even connect with like my belly button hair necessarily my nipples a little hairy but i shave those i have no hair on my uh my back i've got uh you know and and like even my thighs aren't that hairy. I'm pretty hairless all the way around. If I get my thighs wet and stand up out of a pool, it looks like I'm wearing shorts. I use a beard trimmer on my chest hair sometimes. Sometimes I look at it and I'm like,
Starting point is 00:38:56 you know what? I don't like shaving it because the post shave, the stubble, I find is the least attractive face. You can either stay on top of it constantly or if you just hit it with the beard trimmer i feel like that just ratchets it back you know to a spot that i like more and there's never a phase that i consider to be the worst one to to go through there's one there's one i use now called like it's called the phillips one blade i think it's like green you can find it on amazon it works fucking fantastic i like that
Starting point is 00:39:26 for not like clean shaving stuff i still use regular razors for that but like just trimming up but uh one bright light bright light in the hair situation is my ass still totally hairless oh and so that's keeping me going until like, like the way I see it is like there, you know, the, the axis powers are slowly marching down my back and they have to conquer all of my back,
Starting point is 00:39:53 which is the demilitarized zone of the war is lost. Yeah. Well, I mean, in the last year, it really has become a blitz Creek just an assault. So hopefully that is somewhere I would never want a bunch of hair. Ass hair is not attractive.
Starting point is 00:40:11 It's rough. I'm not above getting waxed or electrolyzed or whatever. I'm all about it. I'll do whatever it takes. I just want to jump straight to electrolysis. It doesn't jump at me. I've been lucky with the gray hair, right? I'll be 46 in a couple of weeks, and there's gray hair in there, but there's not a ton.
Starting point is 00:40:32 And there's a stage you can do. I haven't done it yet, but some guys, well, I guess most guys my age, will buy a shampoo that just kind of takes the edge off the gray. It's not a hair dye, but it's like shampoo you use that adds a little touch of gray or something like the shampoo version of that yeah yeah whatever that is but i don't even i don't even do that i just use head and shoulders i think i'm gonna beat you to gray because i'm noticing a lot more gray like i don't i don't care about gray hair at all as long as i have hair but that's really ramped up especially in the last like three years the
Starting point is 00:41:04 amount of gray hairs i have especially on the the side. My girlfriend likes it. She says it makes me look distinguished, but I think she's trying to make me feel better. Now, my beard is gray as fuck. I can go from where I am today to homeless in about five days. So there. Your beard is awesome, and it's a crime that Jackie won't let you grow it out. The gray is what makes it look good. Have you seen Mel Gibson's beard? Mel Gibson has the best beard on the planet, bar none. And there's a lot of gray in it. And it makes him look distinguished.
Starting point is 00:41:33 He looks like a 17th century explorer. Yeah, Mel's also cool as fuck. He's like jacked now. He's like Milo Gipsano, the famous explorer. Milo Gipsano. famous explorer milo gipsano i am he has a lot of gray hair i would he's also pretty wrinkly i i think my gray hair ages me a ton that that it tacks on five or six years it is it's the right concern i felt like i had a really good grade
Starting point is 00:42:02 counterbalance it with the air apostles you know t-shirts and stuff is that what i wear you dress like a 19 year old people see the beard and then the shirt and they're like murder a child and i did it it's not wearing it's like can't be true he's wearing oshkosh bigosh shoes i did a paramotor video like a year ago and i had a hoodie on in shorts and they're like what do you i dress like that in seventh grade and i was like yeah this i i don't know something about it sunk in i'm like this is totally a seventh grader's outfit a hoodie yeah you got the i mean your your shoes do light up and blink you're wearing jack you just look out while you're doing stuff in your yard at night it's like where's
Starting point is 00:42:45 what there he is there's this nike she hears you come in from like and here's your you take the shoes off by your like rip rip your velcro those are cool as fuck in third grade everybody had to have those la lights or you were a bitch. Your parents didn't love you. You probably eat Pop-Tarts at home, don't you? Ah! It was the same thing with Heelys when those came out. Heelys, maybe there's too much age difference. Too much age? I've got Heelys.
Starting point is 00:43:15 They're size 11. They're downstairs. Yeah. Never mind. Too much age. No, no, no, no, no. You can't stay young forever, but you can always be immature. Those are the rules.
Starting point is 00:43:28 So I rock Heelys. And it was just a way to play with my kids. Yeah, everybody thought they were cool. They are cool. I saw an adult man on the cell phone Heelying through an airport, like on a trip, like I guess last year, the year before at some point. And my thought, like if I was like 19 or something, I would have been like, man, loser.
Starting point is 00:43:48 Dude, I don't know how dumb he looks. But like more as an adult, I'm like, God, kudos. Like you're making this into a fun thing. I would love to do that on the walk accelerator thing, see how quick you can get going on your Heelys. Casey Neistat brings a skateboard. Do you guys know what a penny board is? No.
Starting point is 00:44:08 It's a small skateboard. I'm sure he has a good one, but it's a little thing. And he just skates around the airport. And you look at it and you're like, oh my God, that is so much better. That is incredible. Casey Neistat looks like a boardwalk caricature of an already ugly man.
Starting point is 00:44:26 I hate to make fun of him. I really respect that guy. If you put him on a World War II propaganda poster, would it jump out at you? That's what they look like? Let's get those Germans. They're barely human. No, see, you can't put this on here.
Starting point is 00:44:42 It has to be believable, yeah? They are still human, but they do not look like this. That guy. Did you see that picture? Like, wait, we looked at that picture where somebody photoshopped like a penis and balls onto his face. He's got his fucking head. You know that really legitimate argument that women are wrong for being biased against men for their height because you can't do anything about it. But men are perfectly in the right for being biased against women about their weight because that is the thing that is controllable. That's how I feel when we make fun of the way Casey Neistat works. If you're worth $10 or $20 million, how about getting that honker fixed, big boy?
Starting point is 00:45:19 There you go. But that's also – that's like his calling card. People know his look. It's like he's big enough that for his audience it's iconic i bet they would not respond well to him changing himself right and he probably doesn't want to he's successful as fuck you can do whatever the fuck he wants it's not gonna stop him making five as successful as he is looking i wouldn't make fun of his look i bet roast sessions like this still stink. Oh, he's not going to see this. He's going to go cry into a pile of money and then fly a drone.
Starting point is 00:45:48 It doesn't fix it. I bet it stings. And not this one necessarily, but what if there's, like for all I know, each one of his videos has this comment 150 times about the way he looks. Every time he goes on Reddit, it's just a roast session in the comments. They're all ripping him. And not for anything he can control, just his look. Oh, he can control it. We've been through this.
Starting point is 00:46:08 Do you know those masks the Antifa people wear? There you go. There you go. They look cool. Have you ever seen a movie where someone had... What was that old time leprosy? When someone had leprosy and they would wear one of those masks
Starting point is 00:46:23 to cover the hideousness of their face. Get a leprosy mask they would wear one of those masks to cover the hideousness of their face. Get a leprosy mask. No big deal. Or a plague doctor mask. Those are cool. Those are great. Those are really cool. It'll make his nose a little slimmer. You know, since he added that plague doctor beak mask, he's looking pretty handsome. He's got that plague doctor beak mask. He's looking pretty handsome. Can you imagine how much it would suck to live in a time where they're like, all right, we don't know what's going on with you.
Starting point is 00:46:55 We've called the doctor, and some guy comes in in a robe and just a chest of dirty knives and a big mask on. He's like, all right, let's cut you open and see. And, oh, that would suck. Get that bad blood out of you boy you you're all chock full of it i can tell all right jesus christ pretty much any time medically before like what 1940 would have sucked dick shit dude anytime before yesterday sucks every day is better that's what i always say when people oh crime so bad look at the fucking crime statistics you dumbass it's about the news
Starting point is 00:47:29 media reporting crime at a different rate nowadays oh oh it's such a violent world no no it's not it was a violent world in the 50s and the 40s when when tens of millions of men were going across the sea and getting blown the fuck apart no it's much less violent than it is oh there's so much sickness and disease. No, we're the healthiest we've ever been as a species. The flu, we used to wipe out tens of millions of people.
Starting point is 00:47:54 Get out of here with that. It's the best day to live ever. You look at immigration stats across the southern border, they look like gun crime stats almost. You think it's terrible, but it's actually been dropping for 20 years. Yeah, Trump is doing a great job. Thank you for pointing that out with it yes he's he's curved it yeah it's hard to measure real quick on that it's actually going up slightly under him but that doesn't mean he's doing a bad job it might just mean that he's it's how many people they
Starting point is 00:48:17 catch so maybe he's catching a bigger percentage and it's still dropping i don't know but uh but yeah go trump he's glorious so there's a hitler salute for go yeah all right my bad my rotator cuff is in advance i'm just like fix yep that fixed it all right another thing the nazis stole because that's the roman salute that's what the Romans did And now just like the Nazis stole the Hindu sign And the Hindus don't get to be like Hey we made that about the Stastica
Starting point is 00:48:52 What is it with the Germans and their lack of originality They're just stealing From the god damn Romans And the Hindus What else did they steal I don't know but that's really what I think of Is their principal crimes Hugo Boss made their uniforms right was he german or is he like he's german okay so they didn't
Starting point is 00:49:12 steal that that must have been like an uncomfortable board meeting at hugo boss in like 1946 where they're like all right bad bet back to drunk horse oh my god right but you know what they looked good doing it they did have great costumes or uniforms they're so fucking good
Starting point is 00:49:39 they're so fucking good every day I think every time this comes up I regret not buying every day i regret not that ss officer's cap that i saw at that that that machine gun shoot that time it was 550 650 bucks which is an exorbitant sum for a fucking hat but goddamn it's a piece of history right although oh it was a real one like you want someone to like discover it in my home i would only want to present it to someone with a backstory up front like all right so a few years ago i was a gun
Starting point is 00:50:10 store gun show and i saw a hat and i bought it but just so you know like i just bought it because it's a piece of history right i mean i've got a german luger too you know yes sir but why are you wearing it at the airport my shirt, it has my shirt and my boots. And come on. You've got nothing to worry about. It's not as if people come through your home and search it every so often. Yeah. I don't think of how much worse that would have been if you put in a new story.
Starting point is 00:50:39 You know, as you... Oh, man. You know what? Like, if you want to be a world war ii memorabilia collector like and you see something like that where you're like oh this would look so good in my world war ii room oh i need it you'd have to also be like okay i allot 500 for the nazi hat but i also have to buy an italian hat and an english hat and an american hat so i have plausible deniability about all the hats i have.
Starting point is 00:51:05 Yeah. And so you'd have to invest in all that. And then it would look normal. Like if I walked into somebody's history room and it has a bunch of Nazi stuff, a bunch of Italian stuff, a bunch of British stuff, a bunch of American stuff, Japanese, whatever, it's like, oh, wow, this guy's a history buff. If you walk in and it's all Nazi stuff,
Starting point is 00:51:21 you're not like, man, this guy knows his history. You're like, I think he knows his history you're like yeah i i think i think this guy hates you what makes you you know what historical items would you like the most like it would be way older than like world war ii like some kind of cool sword from like rome yeah somewhere from rome or ancient greece would be the coolest uh the short sword that the roman soldiers would care carry the gladius. Those are fucking cool. Like those English long swords, like the legit really old ones. Japanese katanas
Starting point is 00:51:50 from like, I don't know, the 15th century or whatever. What makes you value them? Huh? What makes you value them? Like why are you... Craftsmanship. In the case of the katana, the craftsmanship, like the 5,000 steel folds or whatever, the crazy shit. With the Romans, it's like at the point of the
Starting point is 00:52:06 sword a quarter of the globe was conquered you know this was the mainstay of one of the most powerful organized uh armies in antiquity you know when they felt the dark ages came like that that's pretty cool uh maybe something from like the the greeks maybe like a spartan helmet or like an actual spartan helmet or spartan helmet. Or an actual Spartan helmet or Spartan shield. One of those bronze spearheads or something like that. But an English longsword from the Dark Ages. Those are fucking cool. One of those big crazy long ones.
Starting point is 00:52:38 Honestly, I just think the older it is, the cooler it would be to me. like the older it is, the cooler it would be to me. Like a 4,000 year old like clay pot with like some, you know, shit or glyphs on it would be cooler to me than like anything from World War II. Just because it'd be cool
Starting point is 00:52:54 to like look at something physical and be like, this is still here and think of everything that transpired between when someone was sitting there making this and when I became a person. Like it's just crazy.
Starting point is 00:53:05 Because I like both your answers, the craftsmanship and the age. When someone was sitting there making this and when I became a person. Let me jump in on this topic. Because I like both your answers, the craftsmanship and the age. For me, it's about the emotions that happened on that object, right? Like I wanted to be old enough, say pre-Vietnam, pre-Vietnam War. But like if it's a World War II gun and I feel pretty confident that the guy was like scared laying in the mud using a trench as cover then that thing is really cool to me in the same way true if it was a gladius but not more valuable i just if i knew for sure that this thing was used by like a terrified or brave or just some heightened emotion dude yeah and this was the centerpiece of the emotion, then that would mean a lot to me.
Starting point is 00:53:47 That's what does it for me. Yeah, like buying one of the retired electric chairs from a prison. But like the hat, for example, is not that big to me. Because I don't think that, I'm picturing it the flat, almost like a policeman hat.
Starting point is 00:54:02 Oh, yeah. Yeah. That isn't worn in times of crisis this is fun in times of glory that's behind i picture a couple guys looking over a mat making decisions polish countryside clean up the field yeah just the older it is the cooler it it would be, I think. Yeah. I'm trying to think what else. I had a German Luger, which is an officer's pistol, I believe.
Starting point is 00:54:32 Or I think they were also on the Luftwaffe aircraft. But I just saw rust. To me, it looked like rust on it. But he was convinced that, like, that's blood right there. That's what that was. Blood got on it, and it rusted. I think he executed somebody with his pistol blood got on it he didn't clean it and it and those are blood speckles that rusted and i was like that's pretty dark man can't we just imagine that a little salt got on it or a sweat or something no he definitely killed a g i imagine
Starting point is 00:54:58 he was eating dinner sloppily and nobody has that fantasy you know like like like anything salty could have rusted the the top of this luger you got here it has blood now tell me this if you had an original hitler like charlie kelly had and it's always sunny yeah yeah you'd you'd have to put it up in your home right but an original hitler like a like the man painting i'm like no not like i'm like what are you doing here and he's like i don't know one moment i'm in a bunker shooting my head the other i'm on your couch watching this strange device keep pressing on it i'm like i don't know what i do if hitler was suddenly like one of my dependents we need to work this out now very quickly i know i I know I'm in your home. You do have a large nose.
Starting point is 00:55:45 I have one question. Hitler, get out! That's funny. But yeah, an original Hitler painting. I wonder if you could even sell that. Yes. Or if people would be like, no, you can't auction this off. Hitler painted it.
Starting point is 00:56:03 You could totally sell it. I bet it's worth an enormous amount of money if you had an actual original Hitler. And if it weren't, it'd be one hell of a talking piece. Wouldn't you just like the coffee table from his bunker as your coffee table? I don't know. Those guys who raided
Starting point is 00:56:18 the Eagle's Nest, his home away from home in the Bavarian Alps or whatever the fuck up in the mountains, I bet they came away with... That shit's still sitting in some kid's attic somewhere. Like, yeah, Grandpa had a bunch of stuff he brought back from the war. I don't know. It's upstairs. I guarantee there's like
Starting point is 00:56:32 some gold bar with a Nazi eagle on it or something. I remember when we raided Saddam Hussein's palace. Hussein's palaces. That was happening left and right. They were in there just like, let's take some of Saddam's shit. Nobody's looking. They were just stealing shit and sending it home.
Starting point is 00:56:50 Original Hitlers are worth less than I thought. Oh, they exist? I didn't even know there were. Yeah. Let's see. 15 of Hitler's paintings for a total of 143,000. That was 2009.
Starting point is 00:57:07 All right, guys, get that Patreon level. A single one sold for 32,000 euros, which I'm going to say is like less than 50 grand. Yeah. That's a lot of money, but you're right. This is surprising. I thought it'd be worth a ton. I thought it would be numbers that normal people could never touch.
Starting point is 00:57:26 But like 32,000 euros is expensive for a painting but cars are that much. Yeah. Good point. Yeah and it's a Hitler. It's weird to say it's a Hitler. It's a Hitler! I love
Starting point is 00:57:42 them. They make a great gag in a comedy movie. Hitler! What do you think of this painting? Well, I can really tell how much the artist was struggling. Something in his life wasn't right, and he was going to do everything in his power to fix it. He's like, well, this is an original Hitler.
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Starting point is 00:59:25 Blue Chew is the better, cheaper, faster choice, and we thank them for sponsoring the podcast. Look, I've talked in the past about how I take Cialis and just how expensive it is. I've talked about several hundred dollars for a bottle of like 12 pills. This is quite a bit cheaper. And if you, I don't know, not everyone's insured. I'm not. And you get around the doctor uh visit pay you don't have to pay to go into the doctor office which is 50 to 100
Starting point is 00:59:51 for most people you don't have to go to that pharmacy you know how i feel about this glorified uh pill counters that they've got in there oh i know how you feel them right out like a stain in a blanket all right This stuff is absolutely legit. The fact that it's chewable is much better. You have two different generic versions. There's sildenafil and the other one always escapes me.
Starting point is 01:00:16 You don't want the sildenafil in my personal opinion. It's not what I recommend. It starts with a T and it still ends with phil. I'm just making shit up at this point. I'm going to get the exact thing. Tadalafil. So my recommendation is to get the Tadalafil.
Starting point is 01:00:37 I personally have never cared for sildenafil. It gives me a light sensitivity that i don't care for and sometimes it can give me a headache um but the tadalafil which is the cialis uh generic is definitely what i recommend both because of improved performance and a complete lack of side effects in my case uh but some people swear the exact opposite so i would say you know do what feels right what feels right for you but kyle you definitely have the most experience with these these uh blue chew uh pills and i yeah go ahead i had never taken a dick pill in my life and last night i was coming home and me and my girlfriend
Starting point is 01:01:21 were i knew she was coming over to make dinner and we were going to hang out and i was like you know what i'm taking a dick pill and i'm going to hang out. And I was like, you know what? I'm taking a dick pill and I'm going to see how this goes because I've never had a problem getting a boner because I'm a young guy. And so I'm like, man, this is going to push me. This is going to make me like, like Thanos was when he got all the special gems or whatever,
Starting point is 01:01:38 you know, snap my fingers and that pussy's destroyed is what you can do with that. Right. Your upgrade. Yeah. Taylor, the white. And so I took one and like, snap my fingers and that pussy's destroyed is what you can do with that right you're up yeah and i'm yeah taylor the white and so i took one and like maybe an hour hour or two later we we start fooling around and it it was it blew my mind how quickly after initiating any sort of like fucking not even just fucking just any kind of foreplay you're you're hard it's not your dick does not you know how usually when your dick gets hard you can like watch it and like it's growing out and everything it's like a ema patient trying to make a make a
Starting point is 01:02:15 blow up a balloon exactly it's it's going out and it grows and then it flops up and then it you know you know then it sticks up and whatever, it's like fast forward times 10. It's just you are erect instantly and you have the hardest fucking boner you've ever had in your life. I was like sitting there like, Kyle, you've known about this for how long and you didn't tell me to get on dick pills?
Starting point is 01:02:41 You should have been, no, you know what? You told me a couple of times you should have been much more emphatic. more much more much harder and and you should have pounded that message in kyle i i well we fucked it was fantastic and i finish and usually you know you start to go down a little bit after after you come now with blue chew you don't with blue chew if you know, you start to go down a little bit after you come. Not with Blue Chew, you don't. With Blue Chew, if you want to, you don't even have to, like, do the refractory period of, like, go down and come back up. You can just, I just stayed hard.
Starting point is 01:03:22 It wasn't like, all right, I went from 110% with my Blue Chew down to, like, a normal boner after the first come. No. Standing loud and proud, brother. He was as hard as he'd ever been. I couldn't be happier with Blue Chew down to like a normal boner after the first comment. No. Standing loud and proud, brother. He was as hard as he'd ever been. I couldn't be happier with Blue Chew. Chiz, if you let these guys get away, I swear to God. I need some more of those promo packs. All right?
Starting point is 01:03:39 I need some more promo packs. You got to do more of those promo packs. It was super good. My dick was so... You know, I've heard, and this is just a rumor mill, this is what Bill Clinton used so he was able to fuck that horrible woman. That's right. That's right.
Starting point is 01:03:55 That's absolutely... His wife, you're referring to, Hillary Clinton. Yes, definitely not the innocent interns. Yes, they should have... They had Bob Dole back in the day advertising, but they should have gotten... Now, you know what? Before I had Blue Chew, I was putting rubber bands around the base of my dick, hoping to
Starting point is 01:04:09 get it hard enough to shove it in that stanky hole that she has, and my goodness. I'll take one Blue Chew, and I tell you what, I'm going all night. I still have to put a hairpin, clothespin on my nose, but it helps a lot. And so I couldn't recommend it higher. Seriously. Like, I had no idea that our deal was going to be that it's free. You just pay $5 shipping. You're getting a huge deal here.
Starting point is 01:04:34 Like, this isn't me. Oh, yeah. Salesman Kyle. This is me being like, this is what I'm going to go and tell my friends now. Like, everyone I know, like, when I get off tonight and I'm playing some video games, I'm going to be like, guys, use this code real quick. It's free. Do it. Absolutely do it absolutely do it go there sign up pay the five dollars shipping and try it and if you don't like it i mean i'm not gonna give anything back i'm not giving you five dollars or anything that's lost to the world but but but you're not gonna say that you're not gonna say
Starting point is 01:04:57 that because it's incredible i've been taking it blown away and you know what to prove it to yourself take a before picture of your dick hard, take a blue chew, take an after picture of your dick hard, and then post it on the subreddit. Don't do that. That would get rid of the subreddit. Yeah, so blue chew, just
Starting point is 01:05:19 mail those directly to at what he's gamertag. You can find his address on the internet. It's everywhere. Just mail them directly to him, before and after Polaro. You can find his address on the internet. It's everywhere. Just mail them directly to him before and after Polaroids and we'll all take a gander. Tweet it to Taylor. And like even after fucking twice, even after fucking and finishing twice, we're watching Game of
Starting point is 01:05:35 Thrones just sitting there like horniness is the last thing on my mind. I've just completed twice in a day and like she just puts her hand down my pants. Immediately, it's back into action again, where it's like this...
Starting point is 01:05:51 I feel like a superhuman. Super dick man. And if you guys want to feel like a super dick man too, you get yourself some blue chew, and then you tweet photos of your dick at Woody. Or mail them. I Woody. Or mail them. I prefer if you mail them.
Starting point is 01:06:07 Wait, wait, wait. Physical copies. What the hell was Heather's old email address that everyone sent dick pics to? Was it? Oh, that's fucking funny. So yeah, Bluetooth, check them out. Great, great stuff.
Starting point is 01:06:20 Yeah, I can't say how happy I am with this sponsor. We've had a lot of sponsors that it's like, oh, that's right up my alley. That's my thing not none more than this so so definitely checking that i i can't i can't praise them enough huge fan and and if you decide to to stick with them i'm gonna see if i get some more free ones frankly to be 100 honest but if i can't i'm signing up for their biggest package which is like however many however many pills they'll send me a month i'm signing up for that, whatever it costs, because it is literally cheaper than my prescription.
Starting point is 01:06:48 My prescription is like $300 for a bottle of six pills. They're a slightly higher dosage, but still, when you do the math, it's cheaper to go through Blue Chew, which is a faster activating pill. If you're like me, this is the highest dosage you will need.
Starting point is 01:07:04 You took one pill, by the way. I took one pill. You listened to me before, Taylor. Remember? Remember when you didn't listen to me before and now you're regretting it? That's true. You were right about salt. I know you said 110%, but it goes to 120.
Starting point is 01:07:17 It goes to 120. 100%. Look, I'm not going to recommend anything unhealthy. Look online and see what the dose is. Take it as recommended, obviously. Take it as recommended. I don't do that. I take it as not recommended. I avoid all warnings, and I take a lot.
Starting point is 01:07:34 And I am always shocked at the results. It's pretty great. Bloodletting is required at the end of the night. I'll just say that. I have a tank full of leeches in the other room that I have to apply just to be able to get to bed. Oh, I could have. And the leeches wouldn't even help because as soon as they suck some blood out, there's reinforcements coming in. Plus, I'm turned on by leech play.
Starting point is 01:07:58 So it's a real mixed bag. Yeah. So there you go. Blue Chew. Well, that was a ringing endorsement. It was. No, I'm saying Casper mattresses because you're going to want some nice, cushy bedding while you're laying that murder game down on that pussy.
Starting point is 01:08:15 I fucked her on a Casper mattress. That works great. Brought to you by Casper mattresses. Casper is a sleep brand that makes expertly designed products to help you get your best rest one night at a time. Casper products are cleverly designed to mimic human curves, providing supportive comfort for all kinds of bodies. Their breathable design helps you sleep cool and regulates your body temperature throughout the night. Casper offers two other mattresses, the Wave and the Essential.
Starting point is 01:08:38 The Wave features a patent-pending premium support system to mirror the natural shape of your body, and the Essential has a streamlined design at a price that won't keep you up at night. Casper also offers a wide array of other products like pillows and sheets to ensure an overall better sleep experience. All designed, developed, and assembled in the United States of America. And you can be sure of your purchase with Casper's 100-night risk-free
Starting point is 01:08:57 sleep-on-it trial slash fuck-on-it trial. So, start sleeping better today and get 50 bucks towards select mattresses by visiting casper.com slash PKA and using code PKA at checkout terms and conditions of course apply. That's casper.com slash PKA promo code PKA at checkout for 50 bucks towards select mattresses. 100% of the women I fucked while on blue chew have been on Casper mattresses. The experience has been fantastic. I have, I don't have the wavy one. I have the streamlined one, and I sleep on the exact same spot every single night, have the entire time I've had it.
Starting point is 01:09:30 I dare you to look at my mattress and tell me where I sleep because it's perfectly fine. It's the part with all the hair on it. Well, okay. It's the part with the hair. Okay, if I vacuumed it briefly, there would be no way for you to know. And we'll be all set. Yeahor mattresses are wonderful perfect place to to sleep and fuck um so i have a couple of interesting uh uh news stories here here's a man who gave himself semen injections to treat me more about that one i i have semen and i have things I'd like to improve upon. Will this work?
Starting point is 01:10:05 This was at a doctor's behest, right? Talk about talk. I somehow doubt it. An Irish man wound up with a serious skin infection after injecting himself with his own semen, according to a recent report of his unusual case.
Starting point is 01:10:21 The 33-year-old told doctors that he'd been giving himself monthly semen. You're going to jones in there with his fucking uh performance and drugs and i can't even inject my own semen into my back to help injecting semen monthly to cure his long-standing back pain the report says needless to say semen does not cure back pain. In this case, the man had initially sought medical care after he'd injured himself backlifting a heavy object three days later. It wasn't until doctors gave the man a physical exam and noticed that his right forearm
Starting point is 01:10:54 was red and swollen that the man admitted to regularly injecting himself with semen. In the forearm? In the forearm. The man had mostly had most to get rid of back pain yeah he most recently given himself three doses of semen intravenously and intramuscularly he doesn't know anything about semen injections this guy had no desire to get rid of his back pain this was some weird ass fetish he wanted to do and because even if you're insane enough to think that semen is going to help your
Starting point is 01:11:22 back why would you inject it into your forearm muscle? Do you know nothing about stem cells, Taylor? You just inject it and it goes to the thing and makes you better. That's how stem cells work. I don't, but if you bring something up, I'll pretend to. Yeah, this is ridiculous. Chael Sonnen had it done. There was even nothing wrong with him.
Starting point is 01:11:38 They just gave him like a bunch of stem cells as a general body improvement. And he says that he's smarter and more active and just better i've been injecting semen for 13 years ever since i deciphered that the zinc inside of it is more potent than the zinc you get from supplements let me let me show you a load of mine here people look how viscous and thick this you can even taste the the astringency of the zinc when you put a little bit under your tongue there makes me energized makes me thick you know and so i can't you know what but you don't want to use your own semen that's risky so you can buy my semen at infowars.com slash alex jones come and uh and inject it in your arm that's all i have for this bit i guess it's
Starting point is 01:12:20 clearly good for you i I better get it twice. Come into ladies for decades and they have never once complained of back pain. Ironically, the one time I got in trouble, it was a fucking cigar. You believe that? I didn't even come that day. I came too hard on the other intern. I told that bitch to get the hell out of here.
Starting point is 01:12:41 It was a fucking cigar, but the verb, the adjective. No one smoked them after he... I think that's literally part of it, isn't it? I think that's on the record. That's awful. That he smoked a pussy-soaked cigar? Dude, I remember the day that shit came out.
Starting point is 01:12:57 They were going to put it on the internet, and the internet was young, back in 1996 or something. No, but... So everyone had whatever was before mozilla like i don't know all fuck i forget what was before mozilla and um alta vista i was gonna say that but i don't think that's what it was that was the search engine right oh yeah but anyway and you just sat there hammering reload hammering reload on a text file. But the website was so busy, the government website, that everyone was just –
Starting point is 01:13:27 and then once it loaded, you kept it because it was like a treasure. You wouldn't know if it could load again. And CNN, they got it to load in their scroll and reading the salacious parts to all their viewers. Shucks. As engaging as the news is right now i can't think of a news story that got as much attention as bill clinton fucking an intern i can remember sitting there eating breakfast at like a hangout with with a bunch of adult men and then we're reading the newspaper it was 1997 i want to say is that correct it's not right-ish. Yeah. Yeah. It was ridiculous.
Starting point is 01:14:05 Yeah. The whole thing. What a nutty time in our history. How can you blame me for just wanting to get a little bit estranged when, do you know that that dumb bitch had her own agent follow me when I was jogging and make sure I wouldn't go to Mickey D's and get more than the 10-piece, that sneaky bitch? One of the times, I tell you what, I went, I got a 20-piece nugget, you know, and she didn't know.
Starting point is 01:14:25 I ate 10 of them on the way back, and then I brought it, set it on my desk. I didn't realize on the front it said 20-piece. She came in, saw it right away, gave me hell. You know, the reason that my eyes are so sunken in and swollen is she has powers. She's stolen bits of my soul. She opens her legs up at you, and she sucks out all of your life force and your being. She opened her legs up at me. I tell you what, if it was a minute, it was 100 years.
Starting point is 01:14:50 That's the way I am today. I've got no life force left. I can't even get my dick hard with that blue chew. It's just tough. So yeah, kids, don't object yourself with semen. It doesn't help with back pain, apparently. Don't inject yourself with semen. It doesn't help with back pain, apparently.
Starting point is 01:15:10 If you look at 1992 Hillary Clinton, she's not as bad as you might remember. Yeah, that's her best photograph ever in her entire life, Woody. This is a professional photograph. First of all, when I click it, I guess maybe I need to click the whole link. Did she attack people with an axe in Sydney? I'm confused. She's pretty rough looking in 92. Like, get out of here.
Starting point is 01:15:29 And you can tell she smells. There's a lot of flies swarming behind her. I didn't even notice that at first. Wow. Yeah. I can admit that, like, she's not, her peak is not as peaky as Trump's current wife, Ivana. She was literally a model. But I think people look at the grandma version of her today and see her as this stanky, disgusting whatever.
Starting point is 01:16:01 And I don't know. She was a person. It's just more fun to pretend that for jokes. She's not deformed or anything. She's a ghoul. This next article, I find more attractive than Hillary Clinton and she's not even a woman. So what's the story here?
Starting point is 01:16:18 Give me the back. Apparently in Sydney, there was an axe attack. A woman has been jailed for wounding 7-Eleven customers. At first, Ied for wounding 7-Eleven customers. At first, I thought it was seven 7-Eleven customers, but that doesn't make sense. Evie Amati, 26, seriously wounded the man and woman at a 7-Eleven in Sydney in January. She swung her axe at a third customer, but did not injure him. And when I say axe, believe me, I do not mean hatchet. I mean, she went Paul Bunyan up in 7-11.
Starting point is 01:16:50 She's pleading not guilty on mental health grounds at a trial, but the court rejected her argument. On Friday, the judge sentenced her to nine years in prison. The risk of death was high in each case, and the fact that death did not occur was entirely a matter of good fortune, according to the judge. The court heard that Ahmadi had been out of her mind after consuming drugs, alcohol, and prescription medication blah blah blah cry cry cry blah blah her first victim as uh she apparently she hit her first victim ben rimmer his name's rammer as he waited to buy a meat pie you can't make that up ben rammer was buying a meat pie when a transsexual high on methamphetamine hit him with an axe. After a brief conversation, she struck Mr. Rimmer in the face.
Starting point is 01:17:31 He was knocked to the ground. Four-inch facial wound and fractured. She then attacked her second victim, Sharon Hacker. Is this a real article? I'm bummed that this six-foot-some transgender woman with an axe is in prison because I was looking for someone to carry me in Vermintide, and it looks like she's got the skills.
Starting point is 01:17:52 See, she wants her own axe wound so bad that she's just doling them out at the local 7-Eleven. I see what you did there. There you go. Well, there you go, kids. Do not attack 7-Eleven customers with an axe. Nine years? Nine years doesn't seem long enough for attacking people with an axe in public
Starting point is 01:18:10 and almost killing them, right? Axe attack. Doesn't that seem like a short sentence? Nine years for trying to kill people? I don't think so. I'm leaning towards shorter sentences now. Maybe I'm becoming softy. For some leaning towards shorter sentences now. I'm on... For some things, yeah, but for
Starting point is 01:18:27 axe attacks... Okay, she was on drugs, right? So you clean that up and you fix the underlying cause. And she did... Did she kill anyone? No, she just injured them. Yeah, just a couple injuries.
Starting point is 01:18:42 Previously. Skull fractures and huge gashes. Skull fractures, you said? That's a pretty good injury. All right, yeah, yeah. If you look at the second photograph, I'm sorry to interrupt you. If you look at the second photograph, you can see she's got it cocked back like a baseball bat. One of this guy looks over at her with a meat pie in his hand like, huh?
Starting point is 01:19:01 Yeah, and people who get hit in the face with a fucking axe dude like it's not like all right i'm healed now it's like no your life is forever altered and kind of ruined like you're probably gonna have a fuck ton of nerve damage you have to take a bunch of medication and like like you're that woman with a fractured skull like she's not going to be the same again it's like you think these aren't just injuries oh yeah skull fractures there's a spectrum that guy remember that guy who swung is that goalie who got we talked about this on like pkn or something there's like beer league goalie you swung his goalie stick and hit a guy right in the face with the blade of it and the
Starting point is 01:19:34 guy only got a couple years and the guy who got hit was saying like i'm furious he only got like two or three years in prison like my life is hell now i have horrible headaches all the time my face is numb like i don't talk the same like i i don't want to go out in public anymore because of my i'm not emoting the same way facially like it's it's like that guy's if that swinger is going to be out then i'm then i'm with you i i i'm in college we were in the dorms and uh the door to a dorm even though it was an interior door it was super thick steel heavy door this is the door to a dorm, even though it was an interior door, it was super thick steel heavy door. This is the entry to your room. And one guy,
Starting point is 01:20:10 he was opening the door in like a weird way. Like he opened it two inches and he was doing a funny voice where he's like, hello. And the guy entering it kicked the door with his foot to like make it open like it was a grand entrance.
Starting point is 01:20:23 And they just weren't coordinated. He didn't mean to effectively like curb stomp his head with a heavy door but that was the impact anyway it fractured his skull what am i hearing a video from you kyle sorry yeah it's kind of funny in the story context But anyway yeah So he kicked the door into his head His skull was fractured We all saw the x-rays it was like a real thing Like right here his skull was broken
Starting point is 01:20:53 But all he had to do Was like well don't hit it there again For a couple weeks and you'll be alright I tried to fix the problem that just occurred Tell me if you can hear it now No Great yeah it was just a button on my mixer. Sorry about that. That's okay.
Starting point is 01:21:07 Was that a video, uh, was that an axe video, or is that something, is there not a video of this axe thing? No, apparently not. This is, this is a completely different video. Um, this is a man doing some real daredevil hijink shit. I hope he didn't get in too much trouble, because I think what he did here is cool as fuck. Alright?
Starting point is 01:21:23 Uh, we can just queue up on this. Man survives jumping off cruise ship deck. The 11th floor balcony. So hold on. Let me... I have daydreamed of this so many times. Are we guys ready? This seems foolish.
Starting point is 01:21:39 Alright, queue up at zero. Ready, set, play. You're about to watch shocking video. Are you a little drunk? First of all, fuck that cameraman. He misses like the best part. Yeah, the impact. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:22:03 It's the same camera slowing it down. I love this graphic recreation. Did you hear how many feet it was? His neck. We're getting kicked off the boat.
Starting point is 01:22:58 Pussies. We'll sell Disney. It's better. I'm trying to find the part where they said the feet Isn't that one of those I thought it was like 85 or something It's 11 stories That's 110 feet plus whatever the distance From the water to the first
Starting point is 01:23:20 Floor would have been Can we be quiet for just a second, I'm trying to play They say more than 100 feet below. They say more than 100 feet. That is a big jump. That is a big jump. I was going to say, I told this story before, but I used to jump off bridges all the time. We did 40 feet routinely
Starting point is 01:23:36 like it was nothing. We did 70 feet once. So I was going to be like, dude, I did sit like this all day. I would love it. But I think the difference between 70 and 100 is pretty important. You know, like you keep gathering speed. So I've never done it. It's like a 45% increase from 70 to 100.
Starting point is 01:23:56 Does anyone know the physics of it? Do you speed up linearly? Yeah. There's an equation for the acceleration. It's number of feet per second. Yeah, it is a linear thing. Yeah, it's like meters cubed. 10 meters per second squared, right? Yeah, or cubed. Yeah, yeah. an equation for the acceleration. It's number of feet per second. Yeah, it is a linear thing. Yeah, it's like meters cubed. 10 meters per second squared, right?
Starting point is 01:24:07 Yeah, or cubed. Yeah, yeah. I don't know. In any case, he's accelerating all the way down. So every foot he falls, he's just gaining speed until he reaches terminal velocity. Who cares? This is one of those things, right,
Starting point is 01:24:18 where you know how you'll hear about people where it's like, remarkably, the man survived thanks to the fact that he was drunk like where people fall drunk and like their body doesn't respond rigidly maybe that's why he survived like a sober person probably would have been so rigid they'd break their back there's better ways to like penetrate the water and get hurt less and i can't tell how he did it you know like i know his body position was silly in midair but you can still do it right i read in another thing that he and his friends jumped off bridges and shit all the time like it's just fun for them so i'm like
Starting point is 01:24:48 this is not this is not his first jump this guy knows what he's doing but uh his form wasn't great you don't know you have to see his entry yeah that's true i'd love to see the entry i'm looking at him now what looks like right before it drops off. And it seems like he could have still pulled it together. Yeah, the only person who should be banned from that cruise line is the cameraman. There you go. For ruining a potentially great video. Royal Cruise Lines has banned cameraman Steve Michelson for his poor camera work during the badass jump. For, quote, making something cool stupid as shit
Starting point is 01:25:27 have you guys been on a cruise i don't know no i've never been on a cruise i find this to be super tempting like i i just look over there and i'm like how would this play out even like at sea moving like well i need to make sure someone saw me jump. Like, I just sit there and like play it through. You'd be like, Jackie, what? Hey, tell somebody if I have any problems. She's just like, yeah, yeah, sure, sure. She's like, he walks away. Dude, I, and it's not that there's a word for it.
Starting point is 01:25:59 There's a word for it where like you're driving and you just like resist the temptation to hit a telephone pole or something like, like I think that happens to people, but this isn't that this isn't like, you know, Ooh, I could die here.
Starting point is 01:26:11 Yeah, probably shouldn't. It's more like, this would be flipping awesome. I would really enjoy this jump, but I've never done it. Obviously. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:26:19 I wouldn't, I would recommend you did jump. No, don't do it. And it's like, if you're at port, you know know like i could even swim back to land i'd be yeah pay a couple grand for for a cruise and like sir get to your room we're taking off whatever the fuck you're like just leap immediately
Starting point is 01:26:38 you can't catch me i parked close to shore shore. Yeah. Yeah. What a retard. Oh, he's so cool. He's so cool. Nick Nadev, I salute you. You did it. Oh, a show I've been watching a ton of recently is Nathan For You. Have you guys watched Nathan For You before? No. It's fucking hilarious.
Starting point is 01:27:00 It's this dude, Nathan Fielder, who will go into failing businesses and present ridiculous ideas to get their business going he came up with dumb starbucks which was huge years ago where he oh yeah like yeah the secret is he's so deadpan with all of his like if they think it's starbucks they'll come in but we're gonna put dumb in front of it and by this parody law we're allowed to you know and he did that by classifying the whole thing as an art exhibit until they shut him down. I was watching one of his things. It was called The Claw of Shame. And he was like, for a magician thing, he was like, I'm going to stand up here in my
Starting point is 01:27:39 straitjacket. And right here attached to my waist is a claw with a hook on my pants sitting in the audience are many unattended minors if i do not escape this straight jacket within one minute i will be exposed in front of these kids and we have a police officer standing by it's the funniest fucking setup in the world. Like that is so goddamn creative. Does he escape? Yeah, he escapes. Oh, I thought for sure like a minute was going to go by.
Starting point is 01:28:12 Well, this is awkward. I should have practiced at home. This is actually my first try. It's tongue in cheek and fucking around. But if you guys, anyone out there is not watching Nathan for you, I think it was Comedy Central. It's on, I think, Hulu. It's fucking hysterical.
Starting point is 01:28:26 Great show. You showed that to me like years ago now. Yeah, it's really funny. Yeah, I'd forgotten about it. Yeah, that show just ran across my radar for some reason. I forget. There was like a news article on it. I've been watching.
Starting point is 01:28:38 It's either Community or The Community, the one where they go to community college. Do you know of it? Danny Glover's in it. Sounds familiar. I've never seen it. Chevy Chase is in it. Oh, I think that's just community.
Starting point is 01:28:48 I think you might be right. Yeah. So I'm only halfway through the first season. But it's fun brain candy. I'm enjoying it. There's some good laughs. I watched Fortitude. Fortitude is based in Iceland or one of those Nordic countries.
Starting point is 01:29:04 And the premise is that some children come upon a mammoth that is frozen in the ice and the corpses sort has been exposed so it's like rotting there and they're their parent one of the kids dad sees a money-making opportunity now of course this is in in that country like if you find something like this it it sort of belongs to the scientific community. You can't just sell it. It's not like that. Well, I like that rule.
Starting point is 01:29:30 I want to get rid of it. It belongs in a museum. It belongs in a museum. Yes, but after they pay me handsomely for it. Well, that's his thought process, too. So he gathers the carcass up such that it is and keeps it in sort of an ice locker. The problem is prehistoric parasitic wasps' eggs reside within this carcass, and when it warms, they hatch, fly out, and begin to...
Starting point is 01:29:52 So there are actual parasitic wasps in the wild that turn spiders and cockroaches into literal zombies that do their bidding, and then their eggs feed upon these things and it's not just that it's dumbing them down so that they'll just sit there and be eaten by it by uh by their larvae they'll the the the cockroach will follow the wasp back to its lair so that it can enclose it in like in like a cocoon or whatever so they can be eaten the spider will will like make a little web cocoon for the wasp to like house the eggs in it and it will protect the wasp's eggs due to the uh the zombification that the wasp has done to it and there's also this fungus that does a very similar
Starting point is 01:30:39 thing to ants so this is like a this is a science fiction. That's really cool It's a science fiction show based on some real-life stuff these wasps do it to humans so these human beings go completely homicidal And in an effort to spread the wasp larva to another human being there are two seasons of this show in the second season They add like an a-list actor Did he do whose name is escaping me at the moment. I'll find it real quick. It's a real good show. I watched both seasons a while back.
Starting point is 01:31:11 Let's see. And what's the name again? Fortitude. Fortitude. Yeah. That sounds interesting. That does sound kind of interesting. And it's in the Arctic, so it's all frozen and stuff.
Starting point is 01:31:21 It's a really small, tiny community. I don't know what else to say about it. It's a very good show. Have you watched Occupied yet? No. That's a documentary, isn't it? No. The premise is it's one of the Nordic countries.
Starting point is 01:31:37 It might be Norway. I don't know. And they're going to go energy independent, but the people that they were buying energy from namely russia don't like it i hope i have this right so uh russia occupies them and they can't beat them militarily and we're watching the like government leaders of norway maybe try to resist them and regain their control and negotiate with them and, and, you know,
Starting point is 01:32:05 like kowtow to them while not completely. And you just, you're like, man, they're in a no win situation and it's fun to watch it all play out. And it's, it's really well written and well acted. There's some subtitles involved,
Starting point is 01:32:18 but, um, I just, I just know Kyle would like it. What service is that on? Netflix. Netflix. Netflix. Yeah, I don't know.
Starting point is 01:32:26 I need a new TV show to watch. I'm still, I need to, we're only on season three. My girlfriend and I, I'm trying to catch, because she's never watched Game of Thrones, and so we started, like, months and months and months ago, then got off it for a while, and then she wanted to get back into it and finish it and get caught up before it comes out in, like, March or April,
Starting point is 01:32:44 whatever it is. And so we've been watching a ton of that. Lots of stuff that like, that you don't think about. And then like you watch it with someone new, like crasters keep, you know, like just the way I asked,
Starting point is 01:32:59 like, why can't fucking, actually, this is a good question for our guests later. Why didn't fucking, uh, Thanos make the universe twice as big you know the kind of questions you ask when you don't know shit about the universe
Starting point is 01:33:07 why do they let this Craster guy just hang out here and I'm like well because they need someone to maintain the outpost to make sure that you know they have a place to stay she's like okay why don't why don't just one of them do it and kill this guy and I'm like well well
Starting point is 01:33:23 well they'd have to make war upon him well i don't know i don't know i remember this whole plot part who's craster and what is the keep and crasters keep uh you know when they go north of the wall and that guy who fucks all his daughters to make other daughters and takes all the sons and leaves them out there and they get turned into white walkers that's craster oh okay okay yeah and i mean they would just have to murder him this is just a guy who lives in the woods he doesn't owe any allegiance to anyone you know no but they're like he's a piece of shit who rapes his own daughters and like just has like a harem of daughters and like dead sons and he's sitting there like drinking a bunch of honeyed mead or whatever the fuck and eating his bacon
Starting point is 01:33:59 and pork fat and like they're all sitting there angry at him like fuck that dude i would i would totally depose him and let his daughters free free to go where right you're gonna take him in send him south in the wall to be whores sure yeah you know how right now you get fucked and you don't make anything well how about this yeah you're like because they don't know any better life you know they'll be like they'll really cheer up the other prostitutes because the other prostitutes will be like god why did i go to i didn't i went to school for this i got so much student loan debt and then they'll be like well you know before this i actually lived in a in an icy hut with my father who raped my daughters and or my my my sisters and me and then gave our sons to be eaten by mystical creatures
Starting point is 01:34:45 and they'd be like you know what i'm not sad to be sucking stinky middle-aged dick anymore i can't remember what that i guess yeah there weren't too many lookers amongst the bunch if you recall back though it was it was a rough crew well they were all craster's kids and he was ugly as shit well he was an older fellow you know he lived in a he lived a hard life look i don't think we should be judging craster too harshly all. He did what he had to do to survive. And he kept his family all safe. And they were all fed. And they lived in a terrible area where not many could say the same.
Starting point is 01:35:12 They had a better survival rate, except for the boys, than the Starks did. And y'all see throwing stones at them. There you go. That's true. Oh, why did Ned go south and leave his family all alone up there? He's such a piece of shit no but you look down on craster because he's a little incestuous a little you know what i mean i mean everybody in the in this show is incestuous our our hero is fucking his aunt last
Starting point is 01:35:38 time we saw him yeah but that was more just uh they don't, you know... You think he's going to stop when he finds out? He's going to find out, like, episode one. And he's going to be like, eh. So you knew the whole time I was fucking your nephew's penis or whatever the fuck you would say. That's fucking gross. But also, you know they're not related in real life.
Starting point is 01:36:00 I'd fuck my aunt if she looked like that. And if she had dragons. She was willing to fuck me back. Or not. Whatever. The dragons thing definitely makes the difference. Yeah, you're trying to win a war. Oh, we got Rob coming in. Hello! Hey, what's going on,
Starting point is 01:36:20 Rob? Okay, dude. We're live right now, by the way. We're recording right now. We're mid-show, so anything will be held against you in the court of PKA. Oh, dude. All right. We're live right now, by the way, like we're recording right now. We're mid show. so yeah, it will be held against you in the court of PK. Oh my God. All right. I'm fanboying out so bad.
Starting point is 01:36:32 All right. This is okay. I've been watching PKA since you guys had call of duty footage over the audio. Yeah, man. Jesus. OG. OG.
Starting point is 01:36:41 OG. Yeah. Yeah. So this is pretty exciting, but thanks for having me on here. Um, I assume everything sounds good. Yeah, yeah. So this is pretty exciting. But thanks for having me on here. I assume the microphone and everything sounds good. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:36:48 You sound great. You clearly do watch P.K. because you showed up with perfect audio right off the bat. Yeah, I've been watching your content for quite some time. I'm really into comics. I'm a big, big fan. Like the Marvel thing, I think, has injected a huge number of the populace with that.
Starting point is 01:37:02 But, you know, I grew up watching X-Men, Spider-Man, and all the Batman animated series, which is probably the best animated TV show ever. Maybe the X-Men. I don't know. They're really good too. But I grew up with that shit. And as a child, I was always like,
Starting point is 01:37:14 man, I wish there were big time movies with budgets about these characters that I like so much. I want to see Gambit on screen. And so now I get to live that as an adult. And so recently i started getting into your videos and i watched maybe 10 20 hours of them or something like that just the really long and depth ones but also like the 10 minute ones it's like how do you kill wolverine how do you kill and you know this is an omega level mutant this is an omega level this that and uh
Starting point is 01:37:41 and i've really dug your channel it seems like you are incredibly knowledgeable and my first question has got to be how did you get all of this knowledge how long have you been into comics and like like how did you absorb all of this damn uh well yeah dude thanks for being a fan man like that's that's that's badass man like it's just weird talking to you guys i just i just want to say that um no okay so it's like it's like 25 years roughly um and it's kind of funny you mentioned x-men and batman because that's how i got into it my dad was a huge dc fan and we started watching x-men the animated series and then um because i focused almost exclusively on the x-men except for one episode that shows
Starting point is 01:38:21 black panther then my question was like, what else is there? And so my dad tried to get me into DC by buying me a Batman comic. And I was like, nope. And so I started reading everything else from Marvel Captain America and then it just kind of branched out. But the X-Men have always been like my go-to.
Starting point is 01:38:36 And that's what I'm the most knowledgeable about. But it's literally just like 24, 25 years of just reading comics is all it is. Yeah, the X-Men are just an allegory for modern societal issues, right? You Yeah. The X-Men are just an allegory for modern societal issues, right? You know, the X-Men are representative of people with different racial backgrounds,
Starting point is 01:38:52 different cultural backgrounds, different sexual preferences, all of that stuff. And how they are sort of pushed to the fringes of society. And they're always having to fight for equal rights in that world. It's, it's a perfect allegory for that. And,
Starting point is 01:39:04 and, and you've also got the two sides of the coin for that resistance just like you've got sort of a malcolm x and a side of of civil rights and you've got a martin luther king side of civil rights you've got a magneto and a professor x you know it's it's it's it's perfect in that way and so i grew up and that was escaping me of course i didn, I just thought it was cool. This guy shoots fucking energy out of his eyeballs. And this guy,
Starting point is 01:39:27 I love the episodes where like Wolverine would be up North, like getting away from it all. And suddenly there's saber tooth. He's just here. Spell it. Like, like I love that. I remember putting his claws to some guy's head and be like,
Starting point is 01:39:41 sometimes these claws slip, you know, all of that shit. I loved that as a kid. And the theme song is the greatest theme song ever. There's an entire 30-minute YouTube video featuring the guy who wrote the theme song to X-Men that...
Starting point is 01:39:54 He gives the whole backstory of how he wrote it, composed it, and put it all together. Seriously? Yeah. I haven't asked any of that question. Was that really the Hulk that that lost to thanos in the fight at the start okay dude woody all right here's the thing man here's the thing like this this is what this is what drives me nuts so so the mcu like nerf the characters in the extreme and and from what we can tell the only real theory i've seen is that Loki's still alive. And the idea is that from the time that Loki spawned the dagger in his hand until he died,
Starting point is 01:40:29 like it was all an illusion. Because at the time, Thanos didn't have the Mind Stone. So he wouldn't be able to see whether or not it was an illusion. And so with that being the case, or even the Reality Stone. So with that being the case, like as far as I'm aware, Loki might still be floating out there somewhere. But that was the Incredible Hulk. And like that never should have happened.
Starting point is 01:40:45 Because there's a story called Thanos vs. Hulk that was written by Jim Starlin five years ago or something like that. And the idea was that in the story, Thanos had made this kind of offhanded comment of, I've always avoided fighting the Incredible Hulk because of how strong he is. And depending on what comic you're reading, his strength waxes and wanes.
Starting point is 01:41:03 So if you go read the really, really old Bill Mantlo stories, then it's like, okay, the Incredible Hulk can do some things. But then you read Peter David, and then you get Devil Hulk and all these things. And then you get Maestro Hulk, who's like the Incredible Hulk in the future, where the world was basically destroyed through nuclear warfare. He goes crazy because of all the nuclear energy he absorbs, and then creates dystopia which is like this one city that he rules over with an iron fist and then they take hulk from the present day sim into the future to stop maestro and maestro just like crushes him
Starting point is 01:41:32 and like like two minutes flat it's like breaks his neck and that's the end of that but then you have like world breaker hulk where he like stomps on the east coast or stomps on on the ground in new york and like shakes the whole east coast of the United States. So it fluctuates. But under normal circumstances like that, that never should have happened. But yeah, I guess... Yeah, his thing is kind of that he can't be beaten in a fist fight. He just keeps getting angrier, keeps getting stronger, and you got to beat him some other way, magic or something. Yeah, that's exactly it.
Starting point is 01:41:59 It really is one of those things where it's like the longer the fight goes on, the stronger he gets. That's why when people make the argument of like, can Superman beat Hulk? Like he could if Superman's more powerful than like baseline Hulk at the outset because then the fight would be over like that. But if it goes on long enough, then Hulk will just crap
Starting point is 01:42:16 all over him and just destroy him. Does that raccoon have any powers other than being able to talk? No, man, but he's badass. Dude, rocket raccoon, man. Rocket raccoon. I like him. He's really well voice acted. That's his superpower. That's? No, man, but he's badass. Dude, Rocket Raccoon, man. Rocket Raccoon. I like him. He's really well voice acted. That's his superpower. Bradley Cooper.
Starting point is 01:42:28 That's his power, man. That is Bradley Cooper. Yeah. Oh, I didn't notice that. He's like a raccoon with a limitless pill, is what it is. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:42:38 I really like that brief moment where you get to see Rocket Raccoon's back and the scars that were part of his genetic and physical modifications. And you get sort of an inclination into the physical and mental torment that he is sort of covering over with this facade of comedy and quick-wittedness, that he's a really damaged individual. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:43:03 That's one of the things the MCU is really good at, is developing the characters and giving you a reason to care about them. So, that definitely works. Yeah, I should watch more of these movies. I'm glad I watched Infinity War before you came on, so at least I have some point of reference for like, yeah, that's a character. It's all good, man. I was watching on YouTube videos, it could have been
Starting point is 01:43:20 yours, I'm not sure, but they were saying that the DC world was much better in the comics and the Marvel world is much better in the movies. Do you agree with that? You think that's true? I don't know, man. It depends on your poison. I mean, the problem with like DC is really, really grounded in the sense that it's like there's this really smart guy named Batman who can fight well.
Starting point is 01:43:41 And you get like Wonder Woman and stuff like that. But for the most part, it's like the same, I don't know, core members of the Justice League and maybe another 20 people that DC usually focuses on. With Marvel, the world's a lot bigger and there's a lot more that goes on there. I personally think Marvel's more interesting, but I'm also a little biased because I've been reading
Starting point is 01:43:58 it for so long. I think Marvel's a lot more enjoyable because it's like Kyle said, Marvel focuses more on comparing characters to the real world, whereas DC, I think, still maintains that fantasy element of
Starting point is 01:44:13 Superman and Wonder Woman and Green Lantern and all that kind of stuff. Still making it tangible and realistic in some ways, but definitely more like flights of fantasy. I was watching it, trying to piece it together as I was going is the time jam or time stone. Like I was wondering if you have that one,
Starting point is 01:44:34 could you pause time and then go steal everybody else's stones or would they have like defenses against that where like it, it kept it away. Cause Dr. Dr. Strange based on being able to like stop time and just like zap throughout the defenses against that, where it kept it away. Because Doctor Strange, based on being able to stop time and just zap throughout the entire universe seemingly, it seemed like nobody else
Starting point is 01:44:52 could touch him for power. Yeah, why don't you stop time and take the glove off? Oh, yeah. That's what I'm saying, man. Stuff like that is potholes, man. Why didn't the Eagles just take the ring to the mountain of fire?
Starting point is 01:45:07 See, that's like, then we don't get a fucking cool-ass movie, Taylor. But sometimes, like, I brought up last time, sometimes there are actual, real reasons for it. You know, where it'd be like, oh, the eagles couldn't do it because of this, that, and the other thing. I've heard examples of that. I'm a huge Lord of the Rings fan. I don't really buy any of them.
Starting point is 01:45:23 None of them are that good good where it's like, well, the Eagles weren't a taxi service to be ridden around. It's like, then the Eagles are cunts because they should have saved them a lot of trouble. They were a taxi service later in the movie. Why not earlier in the movie?
Starting point is 01:45:33 Why not earlier on? Yeah, that's true. Biding their time. Like, like, like they were riding that line. Like,
Starting point is 01:45:38 well, let's see who pulls, pulls out of this thing. And we'll side with them right at the last moment. They were the Ireland of Ireland of the Tolkien universe. So World War II Ireland stays out. It absolutely is.
Starting point is 01:45:52 Scumbags. Green beer drinking scumbags. Yeah, man. Did you ever see that episode of Family Guy back in the day when it was one of those little blips they had and it was like Ireland was like this super advanced society. And they were like it was one of those little blips they had and it was like like ireland was like this super advanced society oh yeah and they were like we've discovered alcohol they're
Starting point is 01:46:09 like just totally destroyed they were like the atlantis of the medieval world and then they discovered alcohol that's exactly what other places are like struggle with alcohol you know like ireland's so stereotypical with it but i feel like they've been boozing for so long they've got genes to like metabolize it like who i know native americans i'm gonna say every indian reservation in our country yeah but that's because they didn't have booze and so like now their bodies don't metabolize it as well like who else asians maybe like when they'm from Kentucky man Larry from in Kentucky Lexington I used to go all the time yeah yeah okay so you want to you weren't
Starting point is 01:46:54 going too far away then but like everywhere outside of like Lexington and Louisville is like an alcohol or a meth problem it's insane oh yeah oh yeah I've been I've been on the streets of Lexington late at night wait now sort of strip club with like six hundred dollars and ones in my pocket with my cousin. And he's like, I wish I'd borrowed – $600 in ones in your pocket? That was going to be my question, man. I was wearing Steve Irwin cargo pants.
Starting point is 01:47:16 I'd already given 400 of them to a whore. I was down a lot. That's why he had 600. Duh. Fool I am. My cousin's like, I wish I brought a bigger knife. We're just sitting there on the street corner, and some black guy comes riding by on the opposite end of the corner, runs right into us on a bicycle, crashes right there on the ground.
Starting point is 01:47:35 He gets up all crack-headed out, and I noticed at that point the bicycle doesn't have a seat. There's no seat on it. He's having to stand and pedal, and he's like, hey, guys, hey, you got any money? I just need enough to get a bed down at the shelter. And I guess like $3 to get a bed at the shelter. And I'm like, I really don't want to pull out this huge wad of money. So I'm trying to peel off three ones inside my pocket and I give it to him and he's jazzed about this $3. So he starts telling us his life story. He's like, yeah, I was just down the road and they loaned me $5 to do this and that. But as collateral, they took my social security
Starting point is 01:48:10 card and my bike seat. So I got to get back to them tomorrow to get that shit back because it sucks not having a seat, man. He's like, you know, I'm going to be in the X Games. I was like, wait, what? Yeah, yeah, I'm going to be in the X Games. I got talent. I was like, what can you do? He's like, you want i got talent i was like what can you do he's like you want to see a flip and i'm like fuck yeah i want to see if we're waiting on our third buddy to get out of the strip club he's trying to literally prostatize a stripper in there and and he runs at the brick wall we're next to runs up it and does a back flip and lands and goes and i go here's five more dollars, man. That was better than anything I saw inside that strip club over there. That was fucking impressive.
Starting point is 01:48:52 So yeah, they definitely have a drug and alcohol problem on the streets of that city. Oh, yes, they do. Yeah, it's nuts. You go to like a UK game and like, dude, shit pops off. You get to like, they have this place called Tali Ho, which has like amazing food out there. The problem is that's where you go to get shot. So like when it gets to like 2.30, 3 o'clock in the morning, they have sheriffs that stand outside that place. My buddies were scared.
Starting point is 01:49:10 Yeah, screw that, man. It was me and two of my gang and they're not scared of anything. They're hoping some shit will pop off. Then we brought two Canadians with us from some good old northern boys and they'd never seen any shit like this. They were in their rental car behind us,
Starting point is 01:49:26 and their car's loaded with guns and stuff. But we're driving through these scary fucking neighborhoods. Like, we're not scared, but we're concerned. Like, it's rough, and we finally get parked, and they're like, where have you brought us, eh? This is pretty rough around here, eh? I'm like, no, this is the nice part of town. That's why we're here.
Starting point is 01:49:44 We're going to be staying right there, and I point at a burnt-out factory. They're so fucking scared. They're in their car with AR-15s, like, ready to fucking defend themselves against the Mujahideen or whatever. They're fucking terrified. It's a rough town.
Starting point is 01:50:00 Yeah, Kentucky. I don't know. We would just see these chicks on pills walking and be like, ah, keep some thin. It looked like that music video we watched before the show. What was the name of that video? Oh, fuck. I'll just scroll up.
Starting point is 01:50:18 Oh, yeah, here it is. It's Skinbone. It's the artist. And the song is called 100 Miles it's a it's a thousand miles remix skin bone i didn't get that earlier that's funny yeah yeah it's a it's this uh rapper who has literally killed a man apparently and he's just sort of like it's that song that it's the thousand miles song if you've never heard it's like and i miss you and And I need you. But he's rapping about riding down the block with a Glock. Your ass fitting to get shot.
Starting point is 01:50:49 Da-da-da-da-da-da-da. And he's dancing in the streets with a car. I need to hear this song. I wish we could play it. It would totally get automated. Except it doesn't do the da-da-da-da-da-da thing. He does a fake with a Mac-10. Like, bleh-gah-gah-gah-gah. That's what they do.
Starting point is 01:51:11 That's a silencer. I'll pull it up later on... I feel racist just watching it. It's clearly tongue-in-cheek. That's hilarious. And he's dancing in the street while that soft-ass music plays. And he's got a bottle of booze in one hand and fake guns in the gift shot and he's like dancing in the street like while that soft ass music plays and he's got a bottle of booze in one hand and like fake guns of the other like like waving him around talking about shooting people in the neck and then and the noise it makes the click click and he's literally a murderer this isn't like this he's like i'll shoot you in the
Starting point is 01:51:39 neck just to hear the noise and i miss you and uh and then you're like, dude, he might. He might. He's literally a murderer, talking about how fun it is to kill people. That seems really in with rappers right now, to have killed someone, right? Like a lot of those SoundCloud rappers, didn't they do? Yeah, I guess that's not a new thing. Chris Brown,
Starting point is 01:52:00 didn't he beat up another woman? Like, he didn't get enough leeway. Hard to to say i want to say like there were no charges pressed and now he's suing her for defamation so everybody's gonna leave him i don't know i don't really follow chris brown but i have a i have a hard time believing the legitimacy of these claims and rap videos if they're essentially like confessing to murder because there's no statute of limitations for murder. I killed a man and buried him here.
Starting point is 01:52:30 This is the gun. I'm on the street in the park. Check it out. I'm the beat the bitch. Yo, that's buried. Deep as fuck. You better go check that out. Would you get a shovel and the search dogs?
Starting point is 01:52:46 By the big oak tree. You can't miss it. Here's a treasure map to all of my bitches' clocks. Happened July 6, 61. We're joking about this. This is literally a thing in Mexican rap videos. There's a whole category of Mexican music where it's like cartel gangster music.
Starting point is 01:53:11 And there was this guy who got in a ton of trouble and got caught because he's singing these songs about murders they'd done. And he's not fictionalizing it nearly enough. He's like,ro martinez we killed you last fall like talking about where he buried pedro and how he did the murder and like here's a picture of your body your balls and and it's just like what the fuck did he just confess and show the evidence on camera and then there's this other rapper he who looks like a kid. Somebody was showing me a few months ago
Starting point is 01:53:46 and he looks dumb as fuck. His name might be Lil Felon. And he's in the video with machine guns, like real ones. Like the video we're joking about, he's got airsoft guns. But this little kid has legit illegal firearms. And he's talking about doing murder
Starting point is 01:54:02 while he's on the run for murder in the video. He's making this music video while he is wanted for murder and on the run. That's legit. I hope he changed locations afterwards. Or didn't. I don't know. If I were him, I would change locations.
Starting point is 01:54:18 I'd upload and drive away. Yeah, that's the thing about rap in its early days. You had people like Dr. Dre and Snoop Dogg who were fake gangsters, 100% fake gangster. Are you sure Snoop Dogg's a fake gangster? He's absolutely a fake gangster. He is the NHL all-star gang. Yeah. Okay.
Starting point is 01:54:37 Okay. He does. He does. But I've actually heard Snoop was legit from back in the day. Yeah, I think Snoop is one of the legit ones. I'm not sure. This isn't my area of expertise. I promise you he's not. Snoop Dogg paid his way to back in the day. I think Snoop is one of the legit ones. I'm not sure. This is my air of it. I promise you he's not.
Starting point is 01:54:45 Snoop Dogg paid his way to be in a gang. I mean, I don't think Dr. Dre is. Like, I don't think anybody, like, in what universe would anybody believe that Dr. Dre was actually a gangbanger back in the day? Like, nobody would believe that. Nobody. Eazy-E, though. Yeah, Eazy-E was.
Starting point is 01:55:00 Eazy-E's a little bit of a different story. See, and that's the rivalry that they had. You had Eazy-E rapping about, like, real, the song is real motherfucking gangsters, and that whole song is about how Dr. Dre and Snoop Dogg are fake gangsters, pranksters, wannabe gangsters. You're not thinking of Ice Cube when you say Snoop Dogg. You mean Snoop Dogg.
Starting point is 01:55:19 I mean Snoop Doggy Dogg. Yeah, the guy that follows me on Twitter. I've always thought of him as a real gangster. Not at all. The guy that follows me on twitter i've always thought of him as a real gangster not at all on twitter and so i know yeah he would have told me dude snoop rolls into my dms all the time i've dm'd snoop dog before the um who's who's the guy um um suge knight suge knight was talking about this uh back in like 2002 um suge knight is a real motherfucking gangster who i want to say is doing 40 years right now for murder and and he was given like the inside scoop on a lot of these guys like this about he's like snoop's a nice kid like don't get me wrong but he's not a gangster he paid his way in to be in that gang and to represent them and they were cool with it he's
Starting point is 01:56:05 like in dr dre we had a meeting where tupac we just lay everything on the table and tupac was like i gotta be real i don't like trucking with no faggots and they were like what are you what are you talking about they're like you know what i'm talking about dre you like fucking dude's asses and dre was like dude dre goes motherfucker if i wanted to fuck ass i'd fuck a woman's ass i like getting my cheeks blown out and so he's basically saying that dre was gay and admitted to being gay and in private and if you go back to dre's early work he is wearing makeup and dressed very effeminately on his covers what is getting your cheeks blown out getting fucked in the ass real hard yeah i was gonna somehow i went straight to pegging that's what it's called right when i picked up while you
Starting point is 01:56:50 were laying down yeah yeah no yeah i just i would fuck a woman i like getting my cheeks blown i was like oh clearly he wants a woman to fuck him in the ass but i nah he was saying if he wanted to like like tupac was saying that dre fucks men in the butt and he was like nah if I wanted to fuck an ass I'd fuck a woman's ass I like getting my ass fucked I have the answer on Snoop about his gang thing it seems like it's somewhere in the middle
Starting point is 01:57:14 if this is true. As a teenager he frequently ran into trouble with the law he was a member of the Rollin 20 Crips gang in the east side area of Long Beach although he stated in 1993 that he never actually joined the gang. Shortly after graduating from high school, he was arrested for possession of cocaine
Starting point is 01:57:30 and for the next three years was frequently in and out of jail or prison. His cousins were some other bullshit, homemade tapes, gang called 213. But there it is. It looks like he got arrested for cocaine. He was in and out of prison for three years and then... So was Tim Allen. He's not a gangster. Tim Allen was more of a gangster because he...
Starting point is 01:57:52 Do you know how much coke that dude had? Yeah, he had a ton of coke. It's not like he got busted. And also look at his mugshot because he's got a dope mustache in it. Perfect for catching all the spare granules that slipped. Didn't quite make it into the mucus membrane. You don't want to waste.
Starting point is 01:58:07 It's funny to think, what was it, like 12 years after that, he was doing his like, thing. Which, by the way, underrated show. I liked Tool Time a lot as a kid. Maybe it's not that good because I haven't watched it in Home Improvement because it's been
Starting point is 01:58:23 like 16 years. I liked it. I mean, it's not that good because I haven't watched it in Home Improvement because it's been like 16 years. I mean, it's a show that was made at one point in time but like, I don't know if it was ever a great show, like an underrated show. It was a good show. I'm never going to go back. Like the mom in Home Improvement, she was pretty hot though.
Starting point is 01:58:40 She got resting bitch face. Snoop was also charged with murder and he beat it charged yeah really anyone can be charged with murder he was acquitted on february 20th 1996 yeah so that suge knight was convicted of murder he's also beaten some men to death with his bare hands uh suge knight's a scary motherfucking guy that's that's yeah it was nuts man like like the i mean i don't know if it's true. I mean, take it for what it's worth.
Starting point is 01:59:06 Rumors around the general populace. But supposedly, even when he was in prison, he was still running stuff from prison. Oh, yeah, for sure. Yeah, Suge Knight. That's pretty insane. That's like Al Capone, man. Yeah, absolutely. He's a big fucking imposing dude, too.
Starting point is 01:59:24 Suge Knight is? night is yeah yeah he was he was describing a lot of stuff that went down he had a great howard stern interview um it it was pretty it was pretty funny you know how rick ross is a rapper and he stole the name from freeway rick ross who's in prison right i was unaware is that right let me make sure that oh no okay so rick ross i, I remember this. Rick Ross, when he popped up on the scene, everybody thought he was super hardcore. Then it turned out he was like
Starting point is 01:59:51 a prison guard or something like that. And it totally destroyed his credibility. At least as far as I remember anyway. I don't know. It may have been different, but I'm pretty sure that was the case. No, your haphazard memory is more than enough for me to stop googling i believe go for it so taylor keeps asking question about the infinity wars movie why didn't he snap his
Starting point is 02:00:17 fingers and double the size of the universe okay see that's that's as soon as that happened i was like okay so that's dumb because in in okay in the comics, Thanos was obsessed with Mistress Death, right? Like originally when, let's see, you had Iron Man number whatever when Thanos first shows up. And then you had the first appearance of Mistress Death, which is the second time that Thanos shows up. And then you go into Thanos War where he invades Earth and all that kind of stuff. He was obsessed with Mistress Death. And so you go, you jump forward 40 years almost
Starting point is 02:00:50 and you read Ed Brubaker's Thanos Rising and you end up finding out when he was a kid, Mistress Death visited him and then basically manipulated him over the years into being obsessed with Death and then eventually he fell in love with her. And so the whole point in the comics is Thanos believes he can get the affection of Mistress Death by wiping out half the life in the universe.
Starting point is 02:01:07 And like, that's it. The plot to the movie didn't make any sense to me because it's like, okay, so like Thanos, you've done nothing. That whole perfectly balanced thing wasn't in the comics? That's a movie concept? No, that's a movie concept. It's totally in the movies. The comic concept makes a lot more sense now that you've said it.
Starting point is 02:01:23 Yeah, it's a lot more reasonable because it adds more depth to his character. The problem is all Thanos has done is created a stopgap measure because it's like, okay, cool, Thanos, awesome. So what happens if half this population never comes back and then every sentient being in the universe understands the value of life and now they all have two kids instead of one? So not only have you done nothing to solve the problem, you've actually made it worse. So that doesn't make any sense to me in terms of, and I mean, obviously they're going to fix all that by like time travel, wiping the event from the minds of everybody. It'll be like it never happened or something.
Starting point is 02:01:54 Right, yeah, but the way you put it, like it seems like he'll have to keep wiping out half the population every seven to 10 years or so, right? That's what it seems, yeah. That's what it seems. That's the only answer to keeping half the population eliminated entirely. Either that or wipe out half the population and then take away
Starting point is 02:02:09 everybody's ability to procreate. I kind of like the movie plotline even though we're busting holes in it because it made Thanos a complicated character. If he was just doing it to pick up chicks, he'd be pure evil and there wouldn't be two sides of him. But in the movie version of him, he's a pretty
Starting point is 02:02:25 intelligent guy who yes benevolent explains that yeah that he's coming from a place of good you know my home world was ruined because it got overpopulated i don't want this horrible thing to happen to the rest of the universe and while i don't agree with him it's like ah but it you know in his head he's the good guy in this story. Was everyone on Thanos' planet a giant hulking monster of a being like he was? No. Okay. So, all right. Bear with me here.
Starting point is 02:02:54 Oh, I've seen your video on this. I already know the answer, but please continue. Yeah, yeah. Okay. So, universe is made. Earth is formed. You have basically like primate man, like man as apes. They were called the Wonders is actually what they were called at the time. And then you had
Starting point is 02:03:09 Celestials who showed up on Earth and they said, we're going to experiment on humanity. And so you'd have three Celestials who experiment with three groups. You have the Eternals who are basically like angels. You have the Deviants who look like trolls. And then you have baseline humans whose genes were modified so that in some 10 to 20,000 years, powers would start to emerge, which explains like where mutants come from and why Bruce Banner became the Incredible Hulk instead of just turning into tumors and all that kind of stuff. But the idea is that at some point along the line, some of the Eternals left Earth and they went to Saturn's moon Titan and they took up residence there. And so for the most part, if you were to walk by an Eternal, they would look human. They would look like beautiful, perfect humans, but they would look like humans. What Thanos has is he's basically like a mutant among his own people.
Starting point is 02:03:51 So he's an eternal, but he has a deviant gene. And that's why when he was born, he was born with all the powers of an eternal and all the physical attributes of a deviant. So he's technically what a deviant would look like, but he's also got insane levels of strength and speed and durability and stamina and energy projection and stuff like that. But no, I mean, most everybody on this home planet looks like a normal human. Gotcha. So is he bullied a lot and left out?
Starting point is 02:04:15 Is that part of his story? Where they're like, ha ha, look at that fat purple head. No, actually, he's not fat, he's like Brock Lesnar wide. Well, I'm sure when he was little, he bulked up quick and it takes some time to grow into that deviant baby fat. Yeah, no. The story of Thanos is actually really, really sadistic.
Starting point is 02:04:36 He was kind of picked on to a degree, but the problem was that he didn't understand why he looks different. And that's when Mistress Death showed up. And she was like, well, you should experiment on people and find out. So he started experimenting on like animals and things like that. And then he started experimenting on people. And then eventually, like there's one point. God, it's like he has this insane, this part where he seems to lose his mind.
Starting point is 02:04:58 Because what he ends up doing is he leaves Titan and he ends up traveling around the universe. And which is, this is like 3000 years before the modern day or something like that. So you're like, he's traveling around the universe. He ends this is like 3,000 years before the modern day or something like that so you're like he's traveling around the universe he ends up creating like a band of pirates more or less and then like every every woman he meets he procreates with her and then kills her and then like drags her into his room and then starts talking to her because he sees mistress death but everybody else sees just like a corpse and so they think he's losing his mind,
Starting point is 02:05:25 just like talking to a corpse and trying to understand why the corpse won't love him, which is weird, but kind of funny at the same time. Like, why won't you love me? You know, that scene should have been in the movie.
Starting point is 02:05:35 That's cool. It would have been hilarious to be honest. It's just like a montage. Like the Rocky sounds, he's fucking dozens of women to death. I would die laughing. No, it's, it's, it's, like the Rocky sounds, he's fucking dozens of women to death. Dude, I would die laughing. No, it's crazy because
Starting point is 02:05:49 the Black Order in Infinity War was originally part of Jonathan Hickman's run of Avengers and New Avengers, which took place in Infinity. And the problem, they wasted those characters so bad because Corvus Glaive, dude, that guy was awesome. So the way this happens is Thanos is looking for his firstborn son. Basically
Starting point is 02:06:06 looking for all the offsprings so he can kill them all off so he doesn't have to worry about anybody challenging him. And so Corvus Glaive always precedes Thanos. And he shows up on the planet and he's like, I'm here on behalf of my master. All he asked for is a pittance. Like a token, a tribute. And so what he basically says,
Starting point is 02:06:22 what Corvus Glaive says is, either you can give us the heads of all the males between the ages ages of like 13 and 22 that's a small thing yeah the small thing or we will like raise your planet we'll we'll annihilate everybody on your planet in its entirety and basically like everybody gives in until they get to earth but let no do the do the the dude yeah like the coal obsidian was super cool in the comics like that's a problem that marvel has in the movies is like they waste villains and i don't really understand why i haven't what is marvel gonna do when they have to switch actors like the marvel universe in the movies i think is amazing but how long can tony stark be iron man you know how long are they
Starting point is 02:07:03 gonna have captain america in that job he seems to want to retire every movie i don't know what the scoop with that is yeah i don't know is there's no plan for that you think they'll be able to replace iron man make iron man not the center of the show anymore i mean they'll switch him out the problem is will people accept it because like robert downey jr is the face of the mcu like he's dude he's amazing and so so that's the question like will people go see an iron man movie or more than one iron man movie that does not feature tony stark because if they come out with like iron man 4 and like it's james rhodes becoming the new iron man people will go see it just to see what it's like the question is will they go see iron man 5 and iron man 6 and like the movies that come after or any of the avengers movie if steve rogers rhodes james rhodes is uh don cheetle he's a black guy oh don't you yeah yeah yeah so if
Starting point is 02:07:51 if they do what they did in the comics when they killed captain america and they make bucky barns the new captain america will people go see that movie like that's that's the question honestly there's there's no other alternative like either they're gonna have to write the characters out entirely or like kill them off um or do a massive reboot and and go to a different uh author's storyline yeah exactly like something along those lines i mean they have the x-men of the fantastic four so they can make movies for the next like 100 years because people don't understand like people don't understand how how big it is i mean chris claremont wrote the x-men for 17 years like that's 17 years worth of stories and so that's just the x-men that's just uncanny x-men for 17 years like that's 17 years worth of stories and so that's just the x-men
Starting point is 02:08:26 that's just uncanny x-men then you have x-factor then you have x-force and then you have like like cable and you have like what is it x-sanction when cable crushed the avengers and the x-men like by himself at the same time like you have like all those things that go you mentioned the fantastic four lightweights like me think the fantastic four is stupid because all the movies have been stupid oh they're not oh dude woody okay wait what the movies are good you say no no no no the movies are garbage like the right comics the comics are amazing all i know is like i don't know the comics i've just been told that the fantastic four is really good that it's amazing but the whole world people like me think the fantastic four is really good that it's amazing but the whole world people like me
Starting point is 02:09:05 think the fantastic four is lame because they've only seen the movies yeah and and that's that's fair i mean if if your only exposure to the fantastic four are the movies and yeah of course you're gonna because you're gonna be like okay so like these movies were boring and they were stupid and like the most recent one fan four stick was was a travesty but like you know the character of galactuses no okay so galactus is like this universal constant right like this is a guy that can do almost anything he wants to like he can he can he can resurrect people from the dead he can wipe out you know the caveat to him is that in order to keep his life sustained he has to consume planets that can support life
Starting point is 02:09:39 and so there's there's one point in jonathan hickman's fantastic four run when the son of reed Reed Richards, like Franklin Richards, from the future comes back into the past and Galactus is dead. He literally resurrects him from the dead and makes him his herald. And so the son of Reed Richards resurrects a god from the dead and then turns him into a servant. It's one of the craziest things that I've ever seen. And you kind of have to read it in context to really grasp it. It's one of the craziest things that I've ever seen. You kind of have to read it in context to really grasp it. Galactus has always been a weird character to me because he's so physically large
Starting point is 02:10:10 that it's hard to get him on the page even and make it make sense. How tall is Galactus? Like 10,000 miles? No, he's bigger than that. He's bigger than 10,000 miles tall. Wait, is he just kind of like floating out in space, eaten? No, no, no.
Starting point is 02:10:24 He's not really like... I mean, he's not, I don't think he's that tall. I mean, the tallest thing in the Marvel universe is the Godkiller armor, is Iron Man's Godkiller armor. And that was 25,000 feet tall. Wait, how does, like his suit gets to be 25,000 feet tall? No, no, no. There was, in the early days of the universe, before they broke out, between gods, between the Celestials and a group called the Aspirants,
Starting point is 02:10:49 and the Aspirants built this god-killer armor that was 25,000 feet tall in order to destroy the Celestials, but the Aspirants lost. And so this armor sat derelict for billions and billions of years. And so eventually, Tony Stark takes control of it.
Starting point is 02:11:02 And this thing is bigger than cities. It's insane how big, how huge this thing is. But Tony Stark takes control of it. And this, this thing is bigger than like cities. Like it's, it's insane how big, how, how huge this thing is. But Tony Stark like takes control of it and like flies it back to earth. It's the most insane thing ever. But yeah, no, I mean, Galactus is probably like a couple thousand feet tall, but I mean, but you're right. I mean, he's, he's massive in size. Like it's, it's insane. I mean, like he would dwarf the average, I mean, the average person, you know, to have him show up on Earth in a Marvel movie would be nuts.
Starting point is 02:11:29 It would be this huge, epic, dramatic thing when this 2,000 to 3,000 foot tall guy with a giant purple helmet lands on Earth. Everyone's going to die now. It's kind of crazy. That's always what I want to know. The the the power ranking so with that guy like galactus he's he's probably
Starting point is 02:11:50 at the top oh dude man now you see now oh my god because i know there are so many different stories that like cross and stuff that like it's probably not well defined it's like now you're getting the clickbait stuff like this these see these make good videos, like clickbait videos. Marvel's most powerful character. Okay, so if you're talking about gods, then it's the one above all, which is literally like this immutable, indestructible being. And depending on what you're reading, sometimes it's Jack Kirby, who was the artist in the 1960s that made most of the characters that you know. So Thor, Iron Man, a lot of those were basically created by him alongside stan lee sometimes it's
Starting point is 02:12:29 actually stanley but uh basically like the one above all represents like the editors writers artists after that is the living tribunal which is the judge of the multiverse to basically make sure there's no imbalance of like magical energy whatever the hell that means and then after that you start getting into just different characters based on circumstance. So you have the Beyonders who are powerful enough to destroy the Living Tribunal and wipe out the multiverse. You've got the Molecule Man, Owen Reese. You've got
Starting point is 02:12:54 Protege who can copy the powers of everybody who meets, regardless of how powerful they are. So it really kind of waxes and wanes. You've got Thanos with the heart of the universe. It just kind of shifts and changes around. Yeah, it's situational. Whoever needs to be the most powerful to make the story cool sometimes it seems like apparently i bored what he just left no i'm probably peeing i'm growing up a large prostate who's the shittiest who has the shittiest power in your opinion of people on those
Starting point is 02:13:21 people who are living under the city um Was it the Morlocks or whatever? No, the... Oh my god, Kyle, what are they called? It's where... The Mo-Man... The Moloids, that's what they are. Yeah, they had the shittiest powers. They were basically just deformed.
Starting point is 02:13:39 Oh, yeah, you're talking about the Morlocks. Yeah, yeah, okay. My power is I have spina bifida that's it there's it okay that'll count that if they're just handicapped though there are the mutants though it's like there's a there's an episode of the x-men cartoon where like like a thug gang of just mean humans is chasing this frog boy, like through an alley. And he's like, I don't even have any powers. I just look like a frog. Yeah, no, you're talking about leech. No, leech was cool. Leech had the power to shut down other
Starting point is 02:14:16 people's powers. Yeah, within like, within like a 10 foot radius. But yeah, no, no, that's basically what it is. Like there are people who have powers, most of which suck. And like, they're they're so deformed like they can't live on the surface because they would just be like hunted down but no yeah yeah like it like life sucks when you're a morlock like you're literally living in the sewers of new york just like slum in a day by day it's it's the worst the worst circumstance to be in they've got it pretty bad who's then of like of the main cast and crew people that someone like me might know who's like the x-men or whoever when they show up to the battle everybody's like oh okay well i guess so and so's here now you know i thought jubilee's powers were always pretty lame jubilee oh yeah well it depends okay so
Starting point is 02:14:59 so there's a character named emma frost who is a telepath that's more powerful than charles xavier and there was a comic and i can't remember is a telepath that's more powerful than Charles Xavier. And there was a comic, and I can't remember which one it was, but she took control of Iceman and realized that Iceman was, like, super powerful. That if he wanted to, he could just, like, stop the Earth and basically, like, wipe out all life on the Earth. And then she realized that what Jubilee had the ability to do was detonate matter on the atomic scale. So she could literally just, like, create atomic detonations all over the place if she wanted wanted, like if her powers ever got to that level. The problem is that they're not. She just creates sparkly lights. So she's only really like useful on the 4th of July and like no other time of the year. So, but yeah, like, oh, okay. So, so if that's the question, like which X-Men shows up and people are just like, well, I mean, okay.
Starting point is 02:15:43 Not necessarily X-men i just say x-men like i just mean the whole the whole gaggle yeah captain america captain america sucks like like vindicated yeah i know people people are just like captain america like captain like okay so like he can run fast and punch hard like who gives a shit like whatever man like he's got a stupid little shield that's like the one thing he has no Captain America blows I told I couldn't agree more. He sucks. I'd rather have Brock Lesnar on my team do me too, man Just do it like f5s to everybody Wrong I have the expert on my side.
Starting point is 02:16:26 You like Captain America. You said I was retarded for saying that I'd rather have Brock Lesnar on my team. Captain America's value is in his leadership skills and his organization of the team. Oh, my God. Kyle, you're so full of shit. That's like people saying, like, I wouldn't date her, but, like, she has a nice personality. Like, that's what it comes down to. I just think she has a nice personality. What? I just think he's a great leader, and oftentimes
Starting point is 02:16:47 the personalities of all these individuals... He doesn't even know how to use Microsoft Excel in this day and age. How is he organizing shit? They're flipping through pamphlets? He sucks dick. Fuck him. He schedules the meeting. No one's there. He's like, I guess they didn't get my letters. I don't know. I don't know. I mailed them out
Starting point is 02:17:03 ten days ago. I put the right postage on them. Where is Tony at? Yeah, Captain America's... I mean, I wouldn't go as far as saying he's the worst, but he's certainly boring. There's really nothing good about him, aside from the fact that people respect him
Starting point is 02:17:20 and he can marshal forces. But it's like, whatever, man. I'm personally more interested in like the super powerful characters and like godly characters and space events. And so when you have stuff like that, like you have a character like Protege who has no limit to the powers he can copy.
Starting point is 02:17:34 You've got characters like Annihilus who literally led an army of, there's a story in Marvel Comics called Annihilation. It came out in 2006, written by Dan Abnett. This guy in the negative zone, Annihilus, and if you don't know what the negative zone is, it doesn't matter, but it's just a different dimension. He literally leads an army of like trillions of bugs
Starting point is 02:17:51 into the main Marvel universe and just like almost wipes everything out, like almost destroys the whole universe. Like you have like Star-Lord and you have like all these guys who were just like fleeing for their lives and just trying to survive, just trying to take it day by day.
Starting point is 02:18:06 And like, that's it. But you've got characters like that. You've got like, you have all these crazy uber characters. And then here comes Captain America with his ability to run pretty fast and punch kind of hard, you know, with his analog watch to make sure we're all synced. Yeah, exactly. And his scout badges and he can make s'mores with the best of them you know and it's like it's like okay like whatever he teaches them
Starting point is 02:18:32 like not tying and shit like that when i was a kid i always thought i would want to be morph like like like morph could copy the could like become any of the x-men like a slightly lesser version of them it seemed like But he could become whoever he wanted to be and use their powers. But he was always a very troubled individual and Wolverine was always like, Morph, no! Come back! He's like, I gotta go away again. This one's for you, Morph!
Starting point is 02:18:57 Well, it's funny that you mentioned that because Morph in the cartoon show was created for the cartoon show. He never actually existed in the comic. Well, he did much later on during what was that? They had a mini-series called World Tour where they jumped from Dimension to
Starting point is 02:19:11 Exiles. There was a version of him created for Exiles. But a character in Marvel Comics that actually can copy the powers of other people is Copycat, Vanessa Carlisle, the girlfriend of Deadpool. You have Mystique who can only look like other people but copycat can actually copy all their abilities and everything so she's pretty
Starting point is 02:19:29 legit but uh yeah no more would have been cool man like I'm like just turning into people and just like going places like that'd be that'd be awesome how did you uh how did you like Logan oh I loved it I think it's the best of the of the fox x-men movies i agree i agree yeah i uh i really love that movie i thought it was excellent that's the one i was telling you to watch last week taylor the i'll watch that one next yeah yeah that's the the dark r-rated adult wolverine movie yeah and the the blu-ray the 4k blu-ray actually comes with black and white version which is it's not hugely different but it actually kind of changes a bit but it's the wolverine movie that we always needed like like the dark and gritty wolverine the problem is it's not hugely different but it actually kind of changes a bit but it's the wolverine movie that we always needed like like the dark and gritty wolverine the problem
Starting point is 02:20:08 is it's called logan and originally it was billed as being based on old man logan but it's totally different from the old man yeah it is it's more like unforgiven so i don't know if you ever saw it is um it's my favorite western yeah oh dude yes okay so it's like unforgiven meets wolverine and it's and it's just amazing it's it's so good yeah absolutely i i i kind of wish it'd been more like old man logan so because because i like revenge movies and if you start out or that's the one where like the hulk family kills uh logan's family right what's that story like yeah i want that storyline for like the the hulk family they're all green but different they literally murder and smush Wolverine's entire family, like his children, his wife. And he comes home and he's like, what the fuck happened?
Starting point is 02:20:52 Yeah, dude. Who smushed my family? Yeah. Smushed my family. Okay, Taylor. So the old man Logan's story was based on this idea that the Red School sat down and said, okay, so we as villains have always been defeated because we've always faced our heroes the same way.
Starting point is 02:21:11 So like, we're going to change everything. And so like Jubilee is at the X-Men mansion, Wolverine's there with her. And then like Jubilee starts getting like these emergency broadcasts from like the Fantastic Four and like the Avengers and like the inhumans which doesn't really matter because the inhumans suck but like all the superhero teams like alpha flight is kind of they're all just like like we need help sos like we need help whatever and then around that time um all the x-men villains come smashing in to like the xavier institute and so you have wolverine who's panicking and he's like get all the kids get
Starting point is 02:21:41 him out of here and he's calling for the x-men he's like killing all the villains all that kind of stuff and then at the end of it all when all the villains are dead mysterio shows up and he says like thank you wolverine we never could have done it without you and they end up realizing it was all an illusion created by mysterio and wolverine killed all the x-men and so like after that he's like oh yeah he's like i'm never gonna pop my claws again so the story progresses he ends up leaving his family to travel with hawkeye and you know a few things happen but when he comes back the hulk family had basically like killed his killed his family and so like after 50 years refusing to pop his claws who carl's like the
Starting point is 02:22:13 coolest thing ever 50 years refusing to pop his claws you get this full page spread it just says snicked and it's just like damn and then he goes on like a massacre he kills them all it's it's insane yeah wolverine's got to be one of my favorite characters. I don't know. He's just such a well-written character. His powers are fucking cool. The claws are cool. The whole thing. The sideburns are fucking cool. The mutton chops.
Starting point is 02:22:36 The whole fucking thing. The hair. The costume. Awesome. The hair. His shoulders. In the cartoon, his shoulders are showing. And've got like blue hair like you could tell you know the cartoon representation of Taylor essentially he's just furry
Starting point is 02:22:52 but he's shorter he's fucking 5'3 because you're made of a game or whatever the fuck it is adamantium I don't know something hard and scary sounding let me do a couple of advertisements here. Could listening make you a better parent, a better leader, even a better person?
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Starting point is 02:24:34 Yep, check them out. If you guys get one of those fitness ones and it turns out to be really good, tweet it at me because I'm looking for something like that to start just to listen to maybe in the car and just for a little extra motivation. Even if it's like talking about health related shit like diet that I'll never end up doing like it's still motivating to hear other people doing way more than I am to get fit and I don't know I could probably use that too I listened to um three
Starting point is 02:24:59 body problem do you guys remember when Harley came on and sold us on three body problem yeah well I took a couple weeks ago I went to florida and so i listened to that in there and back dude that book sucked me in so hard i was like there'd be i'd be doing other shit shit i enjoyed wishing i was listening to that book right now you're like i want to hear what's next and yeah there's two i books I haven't heard yet. I was like that with Game of Thrones, where I was like purposefully going slow on the road, on the way places. Yeah. My hotel was literally like a four-minute drive from the airport.
Starting point is 02:25:34 And I'd be like, should I listen to it in a four-minute chunk? Like, I'd really like that, but it ruins it to break it up into four-minute chunks. Yeah. Yeah. The three-body problem I really liked. It's kind of, I it's a you need some patience you know it's good for a long trip if you're listening to it on your 15 minute drive to work it might not be the right one but if you got a big block of time it's good well that's
Starting point is 02:25:56 audible.com slash pk or text pk to 500 500 don't miss out on this offer and yet i'm 100 gonna get anthony cumia's book permanently suspended theently Suspended, The Rise and Fall, and Rise Again of Radio's Most Notorious Shock Jock. That's so fucking funny that he read it. I like that, too. I want to hear it. Yeah, I'm definitely going to. He's got a voice for radio. When it comes to your health,
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Starting point is 02:27:22 invention of the year. That's kind of cool. Yes, indeed. Most things did not get that. They're true. It checks out. Yeah, I'm curious about what's going to happen after the next Infinity War movie. Where the universe goes from there. It feels like this is a crescendo. It feels like it's all over. How do you top what's coming next? Oh, dude, they can do a lot.
Starting point is 02:27:49 Like, okay, so Spider-Man Far From Home takes place in Europe. So that's your entryway into Excalibur. Like the Captain Britain core. I mean, you've got, they could do Alpha Flight. Because now they have Carol Danvers. Okay, so in Marvel Comics, you've got S.H.I.E.L.D., which is basically, like, they monitor Earth. And then the counterpart to shield is swords the sentient world observation and response department they monitor space so literally what you do is you say like carol
Starting point is 02:28:13 danvers is back on earth from wherever she was before fighting in the kree scroll war who knows but like she's back on earth and because of everything that happened with thanos then humanity's like okay so like there's stuff out there in space that we don't know about, we need to be aware of. So they create swords. So they basically launched this giant satellite into space. Carol Danvers is the one who leads the charge. And then you've got like Alpha Flight, which was a really crappy Canadian superhero team that nobody ever cared about. And then they turned around and then they attached it to sword and they became a lot more interesting. But basically like that's their Black Ops team that goes out and does what they need to do in space. So there's
Starting point is 02:28:46 that right there. You bring in Richard Rider as Nova. You can bring in Quasar with the Quantum Band. So now you've got space-faring characters who just fly around the universe and do whatever it is that they do. Depending on what they do in the movies, you have cosmic entities that you can bring in. They can start doing
Starting point is 02:29:01 things like advanced idea mechanics when they create a cosmic cube. There's a ton of stuff they can do. That's advanced idea mechanics when they create a cosmic cube. You can do all kinds. There's a ton of stuff they can do. And that's just based off the top of my head. I mean, from there, you start branching out into the X-Men. You start branching out into focusing on the Kree and the Skrulls. You start focusing on the Shi'ar Empire.
Starting point is 02:29:18 I mean, that's the thing. With everything that Marvel has under their belt, so they already have the rights to. And then you combine that with everything they got back when Disney bought Fox, they can make movies for like two or three hundred years easily. Like it's insane how long this could go on for. So yeah, it's bonkers. I'm just more curious about what they're going
Starting point is 02:29:36 to do with the core group, with the Avengers themselves. You know, because that's kind of been the mainstay for the last decade. That's the answer to aging Avengers, you know, to start shifting into different actors. Yeah. I mean, I think that's what they'll do because, I mean, Robert Downey Jr., like, he has not worn the Iron Man suit since the first movie. And when you look at something like Spider-Man Homecoming, he just kind of chimes in.
Starting point is 02:29:57 And I see that being the future of his career. What do you mean he hasn't worn the suit? He hasn't actually put on the Iron Man suit. Like, if you go back and you look. You mean it's CGI? Yeah, it's all CGI. It's either him inside the helmet, or it's just him kind of imposed on him.
Starting point is 02:30:11 But you don't actually... I mean, maybe with the exception of one or two times, but you don't actually see him donning the suit anymore. That's one of the things you don't see. Like, you don't get those cool action sequences when he's standing there and the suit's bonding to him and then he flies off into the sky. Wait, that hasn't happened
Starting point is 02:30:25 that hasn't happened since iron man one maybe iron man two you haven't seen the beginning it happened do what you haven't seen the suit form on him i feel like that happens every show and it gets cooler each time no i mean not not that i know of you're probably right i mean well who am i i mean there's there's there's there might be like a couple instances where that happens but it's not nearly as prominent as it used to be is what i mean and so with with like with robert downey jr like he'll basically just start what you'll see from him i think is more what you saw in spider-man homecoming where like he occasionally pops up and then like there's whatever else is going on um and and and from there like it kind of depends because they could
Starting point is 02:31:01 do like avengers disassembled basically, where some circumstances happen and Stark Industries' value plummets and Tony Stark can't afford to fund the Avengers anymore, so they end up disbanding. But you could do any number of things with those. But I see Captain America being the same way. Honestly, I see Avengers 4 using some kind of measure of time travel. Captain America ends up back in the 1940s. And instead of going to fight the Red Skull, or however it is that it transpires,
Starting point is 02:31:27 he survives crashing into the Arctic, and he goes back to Peggy Carter and lives out his life. He becomes president. Yeah, because he became president of the comics at one point. In the Ultimate Universe, he was president. Yeah, there was some story where the Avengers, I don't remember the exact circumstances, but the core group gets sucked into a portal or portal or something into another dimension and they're gone and but captain but uh tony stark has like this
Starting point is 02:31:50 but avengers 2.0 initiative like where beacons go off and like call it's like spider-man and wolverine and uh a handful of other characters and they have to come and be like the backup avengers to get the original avengers like out of that portal that they've been sucked into back to earth hmm I need to look that story up that sounds I think it was um I saw it in like the animated Avengers series that was on Netflix I don't know if you've ever seen that I never watched that well I think I saw one episode and like that was it but I didn't really see any others I liked it uh it wasn't it wasn't nearly as good as like the Animated Series or the X-Men cartoons.
Starting point is 02:32:28 But it was pretty good. You get to see a lot of characters that if you don't read comics, you're just completely unfamiliar with. I was. I liked it. Batman was my favorite. The reason I crack my knuckles to this day is that Batman would crack his fucking knuckles before he went to
Starting point is 02:32:44 Buffy. It is consistently ranked as like the best comic book adaptation for a show ever like like the best animated show ever and it is dude like mark hamill's joker i still say he's the best version of the joker it is it is yeah yeah the laugh is great i i love it it's so good it's so good the killing joke uh animated i watch all the movies too like like all of that like like i don't i don't distinguish between the shitty ones and the good ones i just i'll just watch them all we'll we'll we'll let them fall where they may uh i really like the killing joke uh that that was fucking dark as shit even the animated version i also read the the book um but but like all of those d the dc moot the dc animated movies are so much better than any of the dc live action shit
Starting point is 02:33:31 no i don't understand why they don't invest in the animated side like i don't get that dude the dark knight returns parts one and two was amazing that might be my that's those are my favorite two those are my favorite two um he when he when he uses brazilian jiu-jitsu on the head of the mutant gang that's overwhelming Gotham or whatever, and he's like, you don't understand. This is an operating table, and I'm the surgeon. And he arm bars and breaks his fucking arm, knee bars and breaks his fucking arm.
Starting point is 02:34:00 By the time it's over, I don't think he's got a limb that works anymore. And then he stands up and looks at the rest of the gang and they're like and they're just Batman just literally broke the biggest and baddest of us into four pieces there. And then they joined Batman. Great story. Great story. Yeah, I mean like the Joker breaks his
Starting point is 02:34:18 own neck in that story. Like it's crazy. But yeah, no, I mean the animated movies are so much better. How are you going to beat me, Batman, if you can't cause me pain and I'm paralyzed? You also can't kill me. Riddle me that. Or is that a different character? I don't know.
Starting point is 02:34:33 As soon as you start to riddle me. Oh, yeah, the Riddler. That is a different character. It's all good man it's better that way and I preferred the animated version of Batman versus Superman like that whole story like the idea that like
Starting point is 02:34:52 I want to say Nixon was like pulling the strings of Superman or something like was it Nixon or Reagan in that story like having Superman fight the fucking Soviets on an island somewhere well if you could just go over there and take care of him i'd be appreciative are you talking about red sun yeah it's the one where it at the end of it like it's batman batman fight uh versus uh superman and you know he they the the full you know the the um is it green arrow or whoever shoots the kryptonite arrow
Starting point is 02:35:23 and he like catches it it goes poofof and hits him with the Kryptonite dust and then Batman stands over him and has the heart attack. Oh, you've had us watch that clip. Yeah. I think that's from Dark Knight Returns. You're right. Yeah, I like those animated movies too. Yeah, they're fucking great.
Starting point is 02:35:40 There's this ridiculous scene where like, I want to say Superman has a bald eagle on his arm or something like that yeah that is that is a um that's a tribute to not kurt swan um back in the in the late 30s no i'm sorry late 40s after siegel and schuster had basically left there were a handful of artists that came on. And that's like an iconic image of Superman where it's got Superman standing there with his arm like this. You've got the eagle on it.
Starting point is 02:36:09 Then it's got like the logo behind him or whatever it is. Yeah. Yeah, that's what that's a tribute to. Yeah, there's one scene in that where Superman literally, there's like some sort of United States versus Soviet like standoff
Starting point is 02:36:22 on some disputed island somewhere. And finally it goes hot. And there's a huge formation of Soviet tanks rolling across the landscape. And Superman flies down. And he lasers the turret off one tank, grabs the turret by the barrel, smashes another tank, and just takes out 50 tanks single-handedly like it's nothing. And you're like, yeah, it's kind of nice to have a Superman on your team. That kind of solves this whole World War III scenario. Watchmen had that too.
Starting point is 02:36:52 I think it was the United States and U.S. I'm sorry, the United States and Russia, same thing. And the president is like, you know, we've got Dr. Manhattan. We're fine. Yeah, the walking nuclear deterrent. Yeah. With his penis dangling out for the world to see. Oh, so big.
Starting point is 02:37:09 I like the movie so much better. Yeah, Watchmen's fucking cool. I love the... I saw people dogging that movie, saying it wasn't good. A lot of people don't like it. All right, here's the thing. Zack Snyder made a dark fucking movie is what's wrong with it. I thought it was entertaining.
Starting point is 02:37:25 The Watchmen comic book fans hate the Watchmen movie. Like they despise the Watchmen movie. And I never fully understood why because one of the things that I had to learn to do, because I remember as a comic book reader, reading comics forever and ever and ever, when they released X-Men, I was like, oh, yes, we get to see X-Men. So basically it's going to be like the first arc by Stanley and Jack Kirby. And it's like anything but that. And I'm like, okay, this is not what I was expecting.
Starting point is 02:37:51 But I had to learn to kind of like detach myself from the movies insofar as I'm going to see a direct comic book adaptation. the Watchmen, because it's such a philosophical story, because there's been like, like thesis and like essays and all kinds of literary works that have been done, like analyzing this movie over and or analyzing the comic over and over and over again, the political themes and all the allegories and metaphors and so on, that people have dumped a lot more time and effort into that story than they would with like Spider-Man or like Superman or Batman. And so when you, when you take people who have kind of made that story part and parcel of their identity and then you drop that movie out there and the movie is in a lot of ways starkly different from the story then it pisses people off because the story itself focused on essentially like utilitarianism right like the needs of the many outweigh the needs of
Starting point is 02:38:38 the few so like we're going to obliterate i'm not you know at least in the comic it was releasing a giant alien slug you know thing but in the in the movie it's like we're basically going to like annihilate uh like a whole bunch of yeah like a whole bunch of huge cities new york and a handful of others and like you know millions of people are going to die but like the world will have peace forever so like countless billions now and in the future will never know war they only know peace so like small price to pay like it was a lot of things like that that went into the actual story itself. Yeah, weird.
Starting point is 02:39:08 I was going to say, I didn't work with Hiroshima and Nagasaki. Well, it's a different scenario, right? Yeah, it led to the Japanese economic miracle. And Die Hard. It would have worked if... What was the other city, Hiroshima and... Nagasaki.
Starting point is 02:39:24 Hiroshima and Nagasaki. It would have worked if... What What was the other city, Hiroshima and Nagasaki? It would have worked if... The plaza in Die Hard. Nakatomi Plaza. Nakatomi. It would have worked if what had happened was that a third party had simultaneously New York, D.C., Moscow,
Starting point is 02:39:41 and Tokyo in the middle of World War II because that's the scenario that we got in Watchmen, so that the Soviets and the Americans are like, whoa, I know we got our problems with one another, but somebody just destroyed us both. We got to get together on this one and time out all that communism, democracy.
Starting point is 02:39:58 Let's just worry about aliens blowing up our key cities for a while and band together on this one. It's what I've always said in the real world. We need green people to hate, and suddenly it wouldn't matter about black, white, yellow, and brown. If there's some green motherfucker that comes messing
Starting point is 02:40:16 with us, then we're all we all have a commonality that we're human beings, but there's some reptilian pieces of shit coming down from Saturn that we need to be focused on.'s some reptilian pieces of shit coming down from Saturn that we need to be focused on. So fuck our politics, our,
Starting point is 02:40:28 our, our gender identities, um, all of that. They are the issue. Did you know that conversation happened in the eighties? Yeah. I,
Starting point is 02:40:37 really? Between Gorbachev and Reagan. Gorbachev. Yeah. Reagan actually asked Gorbachev in real life with seriousness. Like if we were attacked by aliens, would you come to America's defense? And Gorbachev was like, yeah, yeah, we'd band together in a situation like that. Yeah.
Starting point is 02:40:54 Save the Earth. Of course. Yeah. No, I mean, that's the problem you have with that, though, is you're basically dealing with like loose affiliations because i mean you know maybe it might be a little cynical to say this but you could imagine like some alien race like whether by visiting for benign reasons or by being like belligerent but whatever the case is they visit earth humanity freaks out destroys them so like we band together for a short period of time then what it turns into is a great gold rush to like reverse engineer their weapons and technology and so then you have like countries you know going back to the way they were before.
Starting point is 02:41:25 But I don't know. You would hope something like that, some external factor, would lead to a commonality among nations and countries. It certainly would. What it would do is it would open things up. That was the basis behind the 1950s.
Starting point is 02:41:43 What was that? They remade it with Keanu Reeves. Oh, the last... It was the 1950s. What was that? They remade it with Keanu Reeves. Oh, the last... It was the Alien movie. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The Matrix. The Day the World Stood Still. The Day the World Stood Still, yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 02:41:55 Yeah, you take that one. And in the original version and in the new version, what it did is it established that Earth was just one planet and this huge affiliated network of sentient races or sentient beings that exist out there and like it opened everything up but it's like you're not ready for this kind of technology because you guys are just primitive and violent so we're going to cut you off until we feel like you're ready um but like it's good was it good uh well the original was good the one with keanu reeves was okay i mean it wasn it wasn't terrible, but it wasn't great.
Starting point is 02:42:25 I mean, it's worth a watch. There aren't enough good sci-fi movies. There really aren't. I've been in a sci-fi kick recently, and I've been trying to find stuff. Have you both seen Pandora? I've seen Pandora. Or Pandorum. Oh, Pandorum is good.
Starting point is 02:42:40 Whenever someone says what you just said, when they're like, ah, there's not enough good sci-fi, I'm like, have you seen Pandorum with Ben Foster? They're like, no. Oh my God, the twist ending. Pandorum is the one where they're, it's a space horror movie. They maybe wake up and find themselves in deep water.
Starting point is 02:42:56 Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Pandorum is like the psychosis. Dude, that story they told, it's still haunting. When they're like, there was this ship that went out and the captain freaked out and jettisoned everybody's pods out in a deep space. And they just died in their pods after how many years.
Starting point is 02:43:10 Yeah. Yeah. Horizon of course is, is another one of my favorites. That's just space horror. That movie scared the shit out of me when I was a kid. So what was the movie? What I tried to watch like just the other night is I was watching a project
Starting point is 02:43:23 Atlas. Is that it? Project. Is that the Tom Hanks movie? Something Atlas. Oh, cloud Atlas watching Project Atlas. Is that it? Project? Is that the Tom Hanks movie? Something Atlas. Oh. Cloud Atlas. Cloud Atlas.
Starting point is 02:43:30 I was watching Cloud Atlas. Dude, that was so long. It's just a series of vignettes that are loosely connected in different time periods with Tom Hanks. And I got 30 minutes in, and I was just like... Or I got an amount of time in. I'm like, this isn't very good so far. I'll give it a little more. And I got amount of time in I'm like this this isn't very good so far I'll give it a little more
Starting point is 02:43:47 and I just I got to a point like this is fucking stupid I don't care because like when he's playing the old timey version of him his like talking is like wife come no eat bad fish you make sick no no no yum no yum
Starting point is 02:44:04 like literally shit like that in the No yum. It's literally like that. It's literally like that. He's just taking out all the important words and being like, Stripe cat tiger. No. Just stupid shit. I'm like, this is fucking dumb. So I hit back on Netflix just to see
Starting point is 02:44:21 how far I was into it. That movie is three hours long. And I am not going back to watch it. That movie fucking sucked and the reviews were wrong. It was boring as shit and it's not cause I didn't get it. I get it. It's just shitty. So no. Do you guys see the passenger?
Starting point is 02:44:40 It had Chris Pratt and Jennifer Lawrence passengers. I thought about it, but dude, so I saw the reviews for it and I just, it kind of turned me off Jennifer Lawrence. Passengers. No, I thought about it, but I saw the reviews for it, and it kind of turned me off to it. Passengers, in my opinion, is a good movie, right? You know, it's not great. It's not the kind of thing you talk about a couple years later, but it was a good movie. I enjoyed my time in it. And then it might be Nerdwriter on YouTube, but someone on YouTube suggested a rewrite of it, which made it amazing. And
Starting point is 02:45:07 basically what happens in Passengers is you follow Chris Pratt's character as he wakes up, and then he's all alone. He maybe starts going a little crazy because he's so alone. Then he wakes up Jennifer Lawrence's character, falls in love, but he's lying to her about the circumstances that woke her up. And they're going to travel for so long, it's basically murder to wake someone up because like you're just going to spend the rest of your time with no human interaction except him. He decided to do that to her where she would have otherwise woken up with the rest of the thousands of people on the ship and enjoyed the community and the life that she had intended.
Starting point is 02:45:40 If they had started the movie with her being woken up and not knowing like the circumstances and him lying to her and her slowly figuring out what happened, it would have been amazing. I wish everyone could see this. I never watched the movie, but literally from the trailer, I figured out everything you just said. And so I just refused to watch it.
Starting point is 02:46:00 Like, like just from the trailer, I knew the plot of the movie and that he was going to wake her up. I've watch many worse movies than than passengers and i also don't like that they they cast those two like like just right at the peak of their stardom like i don't know something about that turned me off i wasn't into it i hear you i think that's part of why i watched it so like it worked on me but it was maybe a waste of their star power it was good uh district nine is one of my favorite
Starting point is 02:46:25 sci-fi oh my god dude yes that's another one that's another one's a bit of an allegory that's peter jackson that's uh that's neil blomkamp isn't it yeah well which one was peter jack uh whatever it doesn't fucking matter he was supposedly he was like a protege of peter jackson i think or something like that yeah that's what i meant to say then that's the one that's the one he may have been um so who was it they originally were going to have make the halo movie it may have been peter jackson making the halo was originally peter jackson i think that's the connection that you're that you're maybe making there because most of the sci-fi props used in district 9 are halo movie props that got repurposed for that when the Halo movie fell apart. I saw District 9
Starting point is 02:47:08 and thought that the videography and effects and stuff were amazing. And then later I learned that it was done on a real shoestring budget and the effects were not that amazing. And I thought back and I'm like, huh. Yeah, they really tricked me into thinking they were great.
Starting point is 02:47:26 I thought they were. I thought they were the movie was it was a great film like it's but they were able to do it kind of cheap and like but I somehow the fact that they didn't have an infinity war budget just escaped me and I thought it was wonderful yeah it was something about the color palettes that they used were particularly generous to CGI I remember I remember watching a video explaining that that they they There was a purposeful thing to make things have us have its own little look to it Children of men it like like only there's a lot of kinds of sci-fi But like children of men is another sort of dystopian future where the middle word of men children of men It's a it's a climb. Oh my god. Have you never seen children of men?'s a it's a clive oh my god have you never seen children of men what are you
Starting point is 02:48:06 you should it's a good it's really entertaining it's real good it's in the future uh mankind has stopped being able to procreate and no one knows why and uh it's it's very dystopian because there's a guy out there who's literally the youngest person in the world and he's a super celebrity because of it you know he. He's the last baby born. And it's pretty dark. It feels a little bit like V for Vendetta in some ways, like sort of the society that they live in, I guess, and how it's kind of downtrodden.
Starting point is 02:48:37 But it's not that in any sort of way. V for Vendetta is another one. Is this the one where a baby is born, and they try to protect it and take it somewhere? V for Vendetta took me out of it when he did his uh very vivacious like monologues i love it it was like i don't know i thought that was a little silly but overall it was a good movie one that i watched uh recently that i probably my favorite sci-fi movie if you can put it as sci-fi all the time, is The Thing.
Starting point is 02:49:06 And The Thing is so fucking good. Kyle, you pointed something out to me that I never noticed when I watched it. I watched it again a couple months ago with that in mind. And this movie came out in like the fucking 70s, so this isn't a spoiler. I was going to say, please tell me it's the original. Yeah, yeah, the original one. And like at the very end
Starting point is 02:49:22 when they're sitting there in kind of the burnt out husk of some vehicle, and he's's sitting down and then the other guy sits down and he reaches and he takes that bottle that was full of gasoline and he takes a big refreshing swig and then it goes to the other guy's face and like then the movie ends kurt russell's like oh that's so fucking good like like you enjoying that you enjoying your beer yeah that beer that's full of gasoline okay i know you're not a fucking human being all right take care of this in just a minute here and it's like and then it ends with that amazing like tech like like techno music like like like oh it's so good i love that whole movie it's fantastic i love practical
Starting point is 02:50:01 effects oh it's great like great. It's genuinely scary. The sci-fi is good. It doesn't feel hokey at any time. There's some hokey stuff. When the guy's torso opens up and it takes the guy's arms and bites him off and he's just like,
Starting point is 02:50:17 and everybody's freaked out because the guy no longer has arms, but they also got to focus on the fact that a human body just opened up like a Venus flytrap and ate a man's arms, and now wiggly things are sprouting from it and going everywhere. Yeah, it's the environment that
Starting point is 02:50:31 made that movie so good, because you didn't know who was the thing, and who was human. So you felt like Kurt Russell. Did you guys ever see Arrival? Of course. I did see Arrival. Oh, the one with the speech, the linguist or something, right? Yeah, yeah. See, that to me, I did not know what to expect.
Starting point is 02:50:49 I didn't even see it in theaters. I didn't see it until a few months after. And I feel like that's a movie that I should have gone to see in theaters because the soundtrack and everything was amazing for that film. I like that actress a lot too. There's like three redheaded, attractive actresses that I can't tell apart from one another from movie to movie. I just have to Google them every time, but that's one of the ones
Starting point is 02:51:08 I like. I liked Minority Report, but I liked the spin-off one where it's about a second-generation Asian immigrant child trying to not disappoint his parents with his book of books. If I get anything less than an A+, I'm going to be in my room
Starting point is 02:51:28 all summer. And that's what it is. That's the whole movie. Just him cramming for his midterm. Tom Cruise is an incredible actor. That's an overlooked movie because of Tom Cruise. Crazy.
Starting point is 02:51:43 It's a crazy premise for a movie like there's that part where he thinks that so tom cruise's character is a part of like a police agency that that employs these three uh sort of um um what's the word i'm looking for psychic yeah clairvoyant beings human beings who can uh pre-predict crimes they see the crime happening before it happens and their thoughts are sort of printed out onto a computer screen to be like holy shit fourth and main billy davidson's about to kill his secretary because she's been embezzling money and they rush in right before he can do it and arrest him for murder because he was gonna do it and so tom cruise's character his son was kidnapped
Starting point is 02:52:26 and he never he never saw me he's like it's like john walsh right like when he was when his his like eight-year-old son when uh was kidnapped like a decade before and he never found him ever and so that's part of his character's psyche and uh they sort of manipulate him into thinking that this is the guy who did it and the guy's admitting to it and he's like yeah i i was gentle with him i was gentle with him he didn't feel anything i did this and that and then i put him in a barrel and i sealed the barrel and i floated it out into the water and it sank he didn't feel anything and the crazy that comes over tom cruise's eyes as he's as he's about to murder this man. It's top-notch acting. It's good shit.
Starting point is 02:53:07 That's a good movie. Good sci-fi. Yeah. And I saw it a long time ago. I don't remember the details. Yeah, like, from what I remember, yeah, it was amazing. You know what movie surprised me? A Quiet Place.
Starting point is 02:53:19 I liked it. I like John Krasinski a lot, so I was rooting for him. I wanted John Krasinski to do well, and I felt like he did. Taylor and I agree on this one plot point, though. The movie loses almost a solid... It goes from an A-plus to an A-minus when they show the creature so quickly, so soon into the film. You think so?
Starting point is 02:53:43 The little boy gets eaten right there on that bridge. If they had just cut out the part where you see this crazy arachnid type thing swoop in and get him, if it had just been Krasinski's face filled with horror and terror and pain and just sound,
Starting point is 02:53:59 just the sound of the thing, would have been enough. And him not being able to cry out. Him just being like, that would have been enough and him not being able to cry out you know him just being like oh yeah that would have been that would and so then you'd be like what the fuck got little timmy they're not even gonna show us what got little timmy that's that's the thing like i feel like it it ran by the bridge so fast you didn't really get a good look at it and so like yeah it was it was enough to show you that it was that it was super fast having said that the speed at which krasinski was running and like because because what was super fast. Having said that, the speed at which Krasinski was running, and like, because what I loved was,
Starting point is 02:54:28 dude, I love the way that plays out, because he's sprinting his ass off down the bridge, and he gets there right as the creature grabs his son, like he has to stop, you know, and like, so he doesn't get caught. And I was like, like, if they, yeah, if they had a way to show that, but never actually show the creature,
Starting point is 02:54:42 then I could go with you on that. Like, I could say, okay. If they had done that, and all, or like, that, or they could have had Krasinski reach out, and all he gets is the shirt off the kid's back or something, and he's just left clutching the coat because the kid's ripped away so quickly. A little something like that. That, and I wish that in the scene at the end where to save his children, he yells and the thing comes after him.
Starting point is 02:55:04 I wish he'd put up a bit of a fight. Like, I get that these are supposed to be, like, way more powerful than a human being, but he's protecting his kids. Give him a fucking axe or something, and let him put up a bit of a fight, you know? Right? Maybe if you really want to pay an homage to aliens,
Starting point is 02:55:22 have him have constructed some sort of a mech suit get away from them you son of a bitch he comes out he's just got like piston arms or something like that but i could believe more of a home alone scenario where he has like booby traps set up and things swinging down everywhere legos and paint cans well does he know i've heated up the doorknob i'm all alone and i'm scared better get me before i call the cops and then it it just shows the slipped alien and then a tarantula crawling on his face. Ah!
Starting point is 02:56:08 He gets him. Oh, those movies are so fucking good. Or the first one is so fucking good. And Lost in New York. I love the second one. The third one was... The second one's not great. The premise is insanely retarded if you start breaking it down.
Starting point is 02:56:24 There's that part where the homeless lady takes him inside the symphony orchestra. How the fuck are they getting in there? You're telling me there's an open roof access to the symphony orchestra that hobos can just sneak on into and watch the show? How does Rain and Snow not get in there? I don't believe it. It's freezing outside. They're looking for someplace warm. I guarantee you they've got to wait in every building in that town.
Starting point is 02:56:42 I'll tell you what's funny, though. Gotta wait every building in that. I'll tell you what's funny though There's a scene where where joe pesci and marv who's like, I don't know the character actor's name Are down on the street in new york and like hey little kid Just throw down the polaroid and we'll be on our way And he looks back at marv. He's like He's like you promise You cross my heart and hope to die.
Starting point is 02:57:08 He's like, he's gonna believe this shit. And meanwhile, over his head you see fucking Kevin McCasper cocking a big solid brick back. And Joe Pesci turns around and he's like, ah! And it hits Marvel right in the fucking head and leaves like a V where it hit him
Starting point is 02:57:24 with a corner. And he's on the ground like, Hey! Don't you throw another brick! You missed me anyway! And he's like cocking another and he throws it. Hits Marv again. That's funny.
Starting point is 02:57:39 He's like, you all out of bricks? He's like, I'm all out of bricks. He's like, alright, he's out of bricks, Marv. Get up! Come on. And like, from Marv's point of view all blurry over joe pesci's shoulder you see him cocking another another brick back but marv can't form words he's like what get up get up and he turns around just in time to see another one dodges it and marv eats a third fucking brick it's that's That's funny as shit. The part of that movie that genuinely fucking
Starting point is 02:58:09 spooked me as a kid is when Kevin McAllister rigs that dishwasher or that sink or whatever. That's so that when Marv goes to fuck with it, he starts getting shocked. And then the part of that that scared, I would turn away as a kid because this scared me so much.
Starting point is 02:58:26 He would be like... And then he turns into a skeleton. And he turns back. That scared the fucking shit out of me as a little kid. And sociopathic Kevin McAllister. It's an arc welder. It's an arc welder connected to the sink. This little sociopath is cranking the amperage up as he watches Marv fry.
Starting point is 02:58:46 That kid was violent. He attached a nail gun. Oh, he did attach a nail gun to something. Yeah, he goes to open it and just gets like pelted with nails. And I'm like, any one of the things that this kid's done could get a person killed. Oh yeah. This is insane. Those paint cans might
Starting point is 02:59:01 kill you. There was a lot of attempted murder from kevin mccallister there really was i don't know if stay on your ground counts in new york uh he could have gotten a lot of trouble chicago he's probably okay speaking of home alone i saw some gif on on the yeah on reddit reddit or twitter today where it was like a guy cleaning out a meth house like an old meth house and he was using a stick at first to like hit the stairs, like the upward stairs, just like hitting them.
Starting point is 02:59:29 And then out of nowhere, a giant pendulum with a knife, like a big ass knife with it just goes. And it's like, and he like walks up there to show like where it would be. And it's like right at neck height, like walking up these stairs. If you got it,
Starting point is 02:59:44 it would just puncture straight through your fucking throat or your chest it was like a spike or something that kind of yeah it's some kind of spike or yeah it i was like god these fucking meth heads are crafty did you figure out how it was triggered i saw you that was it the handrail i couldn't tell he was just smacking the stairs and i don't i have no idea how he triggered it but that was that would have been a more macabre home alone. If my home was booby-trapped, one of my family members would get hurt. I don't need spikes dropping down the stairs.
Starting point is 03:00:14 Saying people don't booby-trap their homes. My base in Rust is booby-trapped. We've never gotten a bad guy. It's only us. It's only us. That reminds me have you guys there's i'm trying to find the details of it there was a guy there was a guy who like distrusted his family or something like that and it ended up being like he died or something on those lines like they were going through his house whatever it was but there were these shotgun booby traps everywhere and it
Starting point is 03:00:42 was like they would they would go to like move a book or something like that like a shotgun would go off and it was i can't god i can't what it is but it's like the most insane thing um yeah like man booby traps shotgun it was it was it was bonkers because like he hated his family that it was insane yeah uh belgian prisoner killed by his own booby trap. Googling booby traps seems to show that you're right. It's not a good idea to put them in your own home. It goes wrong more than it goes right. Booby trapped wheelchair kills an FBI agent. What?
Starting point is 03:01:18 Home alone, let us roam. Let us astray. Yeah. Everybody thought they would be coming to town. It would have been funnier. Think of it like if it's home alone. If it was sort of Marv and them, it's two police yeah everybody thought it would have been funnier think of like if it's home alone if it was sort of marv and them it's two police officers who are like we're just trying to get you home kevin he's like fuck you does the same shit kills all of the nypd or the chicago pd
Starting point is 03:01:37 what have you anyway yeah it was a Belgian guy rob do you, aside from you clearly have an encyclopedic knowledge of a lot of different kinds of movies, not just comic book stuff. What do you like to do when you're not doing comic book content or boning up on films? I mean, photography, really. Like, I got into photography recently. Yeah, like, it's kind of weird to me because... Okay, so YouTube. So you guys know how YouTube works, right? You launch a YouTube channel and then you just slave away. For free. For years. Yeah, for years. It was, what was it? A year and a half, two years, or 17 hour days until it
Starting point is 03:02:17 finally blew up and I could start hiring people to make my life easier. So I was like, okay, cool. So once that was done, then I was like, okay, I i need other hobbies and so i started getting into photography started watching other youtube videos on on how to get into it how to how to do all that good stuff shooting angles but like i live in uh in denver so like i just go around the general area to like a lot of the nature sites and just do like a whole bunch of picture shoots whenever i go to uh comic book conventions i'll you know get a whole bunch of local shots um trying to figure out videography you know all that kind of stuff. Like,
Starting point is 03:02:45 yeah, it's just, it's, it's general things. Like I'll mess around in Photoshop, just small little things here and there. Nothing too major. I get into that same sort of thing.
Starting point is 03:02:53 Uh, like during my peak, my channel is doing great. I'm loving it. It's a dream. It's a lot of people's versions of a dream job, including mine when I started. But once you get it for a while,
Starting point is 03:03:04 you're like, Oh, this is actually real work. You know, like it turns out sitting in a dark room with the shade down trying to get gameplay like all day long is uh it stops being fun that's why all you need is one gameplay my friend so i wanted to be devin super tramp like he had my version of a perfect channel it It was basically to look at the videos, it was just like good-looking people dancing and doing extreme shit all the time. It looked like a dream
Starting point is 03:03:33 gig. And it turns out it's actually a lot of work and they travel. A big part of Devin Supertramp's job was just setting up all the people and equipment and things to get in the right spot at the right time. But yeah, videography gets attractive. It is like, that's, that's one of the things a lot of people don't realize about you is, is people look at YouTube from the outside and they say,
Starting point is 03:03:55 person, and I want to make like YouTube videos for a living, but then you, you sit down and you say, okay, so like what you see is the end product. So like, let me show you all the stuff on the back end. One, you're gonna be slaving away on this channel with no guarantee you're even gonna find any success at all. And if you do find success, like you can't screw around with it because you're gonna have to make the choice between doing it for fun or doing it as a job.
Starting point is 03:04:17 If you want it to grow, you gotta treat it like a job. If you don't care, then just do it for fun. And then whatever happens, happens. But like, if you're supporting a family or if you're like planning your financial future, or you're trying to like solidify yourself. So like you never have to go back and work a full-time job again, you've got to treat it like a job. And then, and that's, that's why like, it's crazy. Cause when I started Comics Explained, I jumped on Twitter and I had a teen enters actually, and never actually expected a response. But I said like, I started a YouTube channel, like how do I grow?
Starting point is 03:04:45 And he said like network and make friends. And so I was like, okay. So then like, that's how I met comic story and was hitting him up. And then the two of us started growing our channels together. But like, as I goes on,
Starting point is 03:04:55 like if you're, if you don't really do what you dig and you're just kind of chasing cash on YouTube, like you're going to get burned out and you're going to quit. Like inevitably you're, you're, you're going to quit. You're going to do it for like two years.
Starting point is 03:05:04 You're going to hate it. And then you're just going to give up on it. One of the things that Wings was always salty about back in the day is Sea Nanners wouldn't collab with them because they were the original they were the only Call of Duty 5 commentators in existence. Everybody else went back to Call of Duty 4 and then after that they
Starting point is 03:05:19 skipped COD 5 and went to Modern Warfare 2. It was just Wings and Sea Nanners. Wings was like, ah, a comrade in arms. And Sea Nanners was like, no. No. He always declined his advances. He always declined his advances, unfortunately. And there was a time when they were of comparable sizes.
Starting point is 03:05:41 Like, it would have been not a totally asymmetric. Maybe when W wings was an infant jesus christ i meant uh their channels were of comparable sizes and uh it wouldn't have been that asymmetric like a relationship yeah you remember when you was about 145 pounds wings first grade pretty small guy yeah we've got a collage of wings of redemptions on our on our base as well like instead of just doing one portrait of him they did like a six portrait collage of him and all his most famous poses the one where he's got four fingers in his mouth licking them all um the one where i don't know how he you, if you pose in a certain way, it allows the photograph to be manipulated by inserting a phallic object in a suggestive way.
Starting point is 03:06:32 So, for example, if there was a video of you eating a hot dog. Okay. I could pause that video and I could change the hot dog with an enormous black penis. Or you could go the other way. You could suck an enormous black penis and make it look like you're eating a hot dog. On video, apparently. So there's a, you know, if you just Google Wings of Redemption blacked. Oh, God.
Starting point is 03:06:54 Hang in there. Oh, Jesus Christ. I am not Googling Wings of Redemption blacked. Let me make sure that that's going to get it for you. I'm going to, let's say, Wings of Redemption blacked. Yeah, you do the footwork on this one. Right on it, buddy. Dude, not only, it auto, I, Wings of Redemption Blacked. Yeah, you do the footwork on this one. Right on it, buddy. Dude, not only it auto... I went Wings of Redemption
Starting point is 03:07:08 BLA and Google's like, Blacked? Oh, god damn it. I'm not... But I'm not getting the image. That might need to be this. That's okay. I've got foot soldiers for this. Give us some fucking mean-spirited murals on here. Hang on, look at this. Let's time this. I'm going to type the question
Starting point is 03:07:23 to my friends. Does anyone have the wings blacked photo need it for pka yeah we need it i do you don't want a little chuckle um so that's on there and Gangster Grandma's on there Gangster Grandma in all her glory is right on the front door like I said earlier we downloaded this program that allows you to use this Microsoft Paint interface that is all that Rust allows you to create photorealistic
Starting point is 03:07:56 images by uploading to that to the tool and letting it paint for you over the course of many hours it's been, Rust has been fun like we always find new ways to enjoy ourselves in there. I'll get that photo to you soon. Oh, it's time for an ad, Taylor reminds me.
Starting point is 03:08:12 Why, thank you, Taylor. Every year, millions of people receive the least liked gift of all time. Underwear. But we still give it to our family and our loved ones who just don't want it. But maybe it's not that underwear is the problem. It's the kind of underwear. But we still give it to our family and our loved ones who just don't want it. But maybe it's not that underwear is the problem. It's the kind of underwear. Let me tell you about MeUndies,
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Starting point is 03:08:55 Free shipping and 100% satisfaction guaranteed. Go to MeUndies.com slash PK. That's MeUndies.com slash PK. I'm wearing some right now. I'm wearing the... It looks like sushi. It's multiple sushi rolls. it looks like nigiri uh and they have little smiley faces on them big fan of that uh i uh i got a whole new shipment of me undies just very very recently uh they're the only
Starting point is 03:09:16 underwear i wear they're they're the only wonder underwear that i've worn since they were a spot first became a sponsor and i became aware of them. I'm a big fan. They're awesome. Support for today's show also comes from Genlock, a new animated series that rewrites sci-fi and action-adventure storytelling in a way that is both fresh and familiar. The year is
Starting point is 03:09:38 2072. An oppressive, authoritarian force threatens to conquer the world. A diverse group of recruits is selected to pilot a new form of weaponized neuroscience that powers devastating mecha. They need to learn to work together, adapt to their arsenal, and be willing to sacrifice everything to succeed in battle and win the war. Do they have what it takes to come together as a team, or will they fall apart before they have a chance to fight? Gin lock is a new animated series from rooster teeth, the studio that brought you Ruby and red versus blue featuring an all-star
Starting point is 03:10:09 cast that includes Michael B. Jordan, Maisie Williams, Dakota Fanning, and David Tennant. Check them out. It's links down below, dude.
Starting point is 03:10:17 That's cool. A lot of star power. Yeah. Like, so I'm not really in with any of the rooster teeth people. Like, I don't know them. They don't,
Starting point is 03:10:24 they don't probably don't know me. But I think it's neat when someone goes from YouTube and makes it big. Oh, God. There's the Rooster Teeth. However long that took, that's how long it took for me asking the question to someone, clickety-clack, uploading the photo for me. All right. Well, you can't put that on screen. You can't put that on screen.
Starting point is 03:10:45 You can't put it on screen, but it looks like... What is he doing in this picture? Are you serious? Well, I mean, I can see what he's doing in this picture. What was he doing in the original picture? Maybe yawning. Okay, yeah. And I think he's actually much thinner now
Starting point is 03:11:01 than he is in that picture. That is not a flattering Wings picture. No, he's lost a lot of weight he is in that picture. That is not a flattering wings picture. No, he's lost a lot of weight. Yeah. Since then. That's a big deal. He's equal to the task.
Starting point is 03:11:15 That's a lot to take in. I will say that. I like to imagine, like we're thinking that wings is being mouth fucked. I like to imagine that instead the black man is the, is the one who's really the victim here. And he's just being consumed dick first. And he's just going,
Starting point is 03:11:31 please no. Wings, I don't mean to tell you how to, how to run your business, but I believe if you stuck your tongue out, you could lick that guy's balls. I'm just saying. I don't want to tell you how to do it but try it I was uh I was
Starting point is 03:11:50 looking around at news stories today for stuff to shoot about and there's this story of a guy in Des Moines who apparently has a huge problem with how cavalier people are with bomb threats where you know like you know when you hear like a bomb threat was called into this building your immediate reaction or at least mine is like yeah i bet i bet there actually is see it's some kid who doesn't want to take a test or some some bullshit like that is what you assume this guy is so sick of that that this des moines man went into like a fucking uh panera bread or some shit with items and then just started constructing a bomb in the middle of the restaurant like a functional bomb until it was ready to explode and then called the police
Starting point is 03:12:32 on himself to be like see look how easy it would have been to kill everyone in this restaurant i built a bomb to prove a point what do you mean you're handcuffing me no i did this to prove a point and he he built a functional bomb. They detonated it and it worked. Of shit that he built in a restaurant. I was thinking this is going to start a series of copycat crimes. Where it's like every guy who gets caught by Chris Hansen now is like, Ah, I was testing you by raping this kid.
Starting point is 03:13:02 For every kid I molest, your knowledge of that prevents 10 more molestations the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the benevolent kitty toucher benevolent kitty toucher and that's what i think we're on the brink of this guy is so stupid this guy's so stupid i saw a cops episode where the lady calls the cops they show up and she's like You see that house right there like yeah, they're on the sidewalk. You see that house right there. Yeah, I Just tried to buy crack cocaine from that man Here it is He only gave me an eighth and I paid him for a quarter and they're like wow Like well that is that is poor business man. What can I have that crack cocaine? Yep, thank you, thank you.
Starting point is 03:13:45 But then the evidence back. Yeah, come with us. Come with us. All right. What are you arresting me for? He's the shady businessman. Corporate America wins again. I called the Better Business Bureau.
Starting point is 03:14:00 They did nothing to help me. I saw another one where the lady's like just so you know i just bought methamphetamine from that house over there here it is here it is and they're like yeah you committed a felony you just bought methamphetamine she's like yeah but i bought it so that you'd know doesn't matter dude i another thing that happens is people be like ah i'm filing a police report someone broke into my house and stole all my cocaine. So please hunt that down and get it back.
Starting point is 03:14:30 Well, that's not a crime. I don't understand how people would be so wrong. It's not a crime. I believe it's called possession. If he doesn't possess it anymore, his cocaine was stolen. Well, it's... He's sort of admitting to possession. They're all gone.
Starting point is 03:14:47 This is just the Woody show. Well, let's play with this and see if my network is bad. It is not me. It's Discord, it would seem. Well, I will hang up and call back. Oh, Kyle says he's frozen. Everybody froze. Leave call.
Starting point is 03:15:23 Video. Oh. And we're back. And we're back. Oh. And we're back. And we're back. Yeah, I just hung up and called back. Pay no mind to that brief intermission. Taylor pressed the wrong button again. How are you going to get your tech work fixed?
Starting point is 03:15:38 I'm disappointed. My tech work? Yeah. I don't know, man. Just haven't got it right. Which tech work? I i mean you're running the ship and and here we go again yeah that's true it's been i've been on the show for for almost five years now and i still haven't got it together can't even count this is the problem this is who
Starting point is 03:15:56 we need someone who knows we are bothered with this fat-headed retard who can't get his shit together. I don't know if we talked about it. Taylor, you've got a lovely new microphone. Look at that. It moves like a real microphone. Yeah, like a goddamned professional. Yeah, yeah. Chiz a few weeks ago was like, Taylor should have a professional microphone.
Starting point is 03:16:19 I was like, I agree. He had one. I agree, too. Yeah, the Shure SM58 is good,58 this looks fancy as fuck should i leave this yeah there's a reason why you don't use that little microphone woody i mean we all we all chose because this one makes my voice sound deeper than it does in real life exactly we all picked a nice studio microphone rather than the little one you know can i put the big windsock or whatever i don't know what the fuck it's called, the thing that goes over this.
Starting point is 03:16:45 The windscreen. The windscreen. Should I put the big one on because it came with this one, and then it came with the one that you guys are using? Look, I used this one. I don't remember why I did it. I may have done some research to determine it was better, or maybe it drowned out any extra noises in the room.
Starting point is 03:16:59 I'll pop the other one on for next week, and I'll see if there's a difference. Yeah, you probably won't notice a goddamn thing. But, yeah, I think you sound better and i'm sure it's more comfortable for you because you can change positions and you're never gonna there's never an instance where you're too far too close you're always just dude but i've been doing it so long sitting like forward like this with like my back straight that like i was sitting before the show being like wow i could sit back like this and and do that and immediately i was like no this feels wrong i don't like it like and so i just moved
Starting point is 03:17:29 back to my my awkward ass leaning forward position i do the same forward thing i feel like the posture keeps me engaged i agree yeah i think it helps me i feel like i get lackadaisic if i lean back i like to i like to lean back this is how I play games. Sometimes I'm all the way back playing games. I like being back here. I feel like if I was up here, I'd be upset. Sometimes when I play games, I slouch deep and I'm down here just playing. But then when it gets intense,
Starting point is 03:17:57 I'm back in it. I hit the PKA position. Yeah, those are solid. Those are actually the industry standard microphones. Woody's microphone is EVRE20, I think. It is? Yeah, and the microphones that Kyle and Taylor have are the Shure SM7Bs.
Starting point is 03:18:14 They are? I had them plugged. Did you know anything about mics before YouTube? No, I've actually gone through about five microphones. This is the MKH416, but I've gone through like five or six different microphones before I finally settled on the one that you use, Woody, is actually the one that I use for my videos.
Starting point is 03:18:32 And then this one I use whenever I'm out, you know, if I'm outside recording something or something like that. You have an excellent voice for narration. Like one of the things that I really do. So one of the things that got me into your videos, and I hope you don't take this the wrong way. Like I would watch the videos in my free time, but I would watch them when I went to sleep at night.
Starting point is 03:18:51 No, I don't take offense to that at all, man. People tell me because I found your voice soothing and in a certain way. And here's the kicker. I dream about what you talk about. And you talk about Galactus coming to eat planets and the fantastic four having to intervene you talk about fucking mutants and and um you know you know uh all kinds of like
Starting point is 03:19:13 fantastical stuff and i get to dream that it influences my my my dreams at night and i remember them the next day and i'm like holy shit did i read richards last night what i like about your voice for the content you make is it is a man's voice. It is a grown-up's voice, and it couldn't be further away from a child's voice on the spectrum of guy voices. So when you talk about cartoons, if you sounded like you were 10 years old, I would never watch those videos because it would make it lame. But because you come across as like this alpha guy laying out stuff about cartoons uh it makes it more palatable for me well i appreciate it yeah yeah it's really good that's why what uh i don't feel like any good movies have come out lately am i missing something like like what's i haven't seen a movie in
Starting point is 03:20:00 theaters in fucking forever what's the big one that's just last recently yeah oh i was gonna talk about i was gonna i going to talk about that earlier. The Shyamalan superhero universe and see what you thought about that. Now, I've seen that Glass has poor reviews. I love Unbreakable. I really like Split. But I've heard that Glass has gotten very poor reviews. It felt rushed.
Starting point is 03:20:19 It felt like either the studio went to him or he decided on himself. He's like, okay, so Split did really well. So, like, we have to do Glass now. And they just kind of rushed it out now i mean granted we didn't really need to wait like a decade and a half like we did between split and unbreakable but um but yeah no like i felt like glass was really really rushed and the plot was really thin and did bruce willis have a big role uh yeah but the emphasis I thought was put more on the guy
Starting point is 03:20:48 from Split, James McAvoy and Samuel L. Jackson. It's like they were the main stars of the film. But like I said, I mean, it was just too much happening in a movie. Too much happening? Another shit movie, The Happening.
Starting point is 03:21:02 The Happening is such a bad movie. I watched that in theaters. I paid, like if you count the snacks, the gasoline, the dinner that was included, the whole date experience that went into The Happening, I must have dropped $100 on The Happening. The girl alone was $80 for that night. Yeah. $80, really scraping.
Starting point is 03:21:23 You get an $80, I promise you an $80 prostitute is really scraping the bottom there you want at least a $200 well I had to make it work Kyle you said $100 $200 for her $100 for the date and I'm telling you I felt cheated first of all Mark Wahlberg
Starting point is 03:21:40 how's your mother? not a good actor he has a time and place. That wasn't it. Mark Wahlberg, like, as a science teacher. Oh, my God. You might as well have Will Ferrell as an astrophysicist. I'm watching this guy, and I'm just like.
Starting point is 03:21:59 That's funny. Like, dude, I don't think you know how basic biology works. Like, I don't think you could. I don't think they would let. You should be with the children learning about plants. Like, like not. What are you doing? I don't believe you, Marky Mark. You're that goofy guy.
Starting point is 03:22:14 You're that. You're that hate crime committer who stomped that Vietnamese man while calling him a gook and stomped him so hard he went deaf. Never forget hearsay. That's one of the girls with hard he went deaf. Never forgets hearsay. Dude, one of the problems with the happening. No, it's can't hearsay. Jesus. One of the problems with.
Starting point is 03:22:35 The happening came out around the same time. It was like a follow-up to signs. And what was his other? Lady in the Water and uh the village i don't think that's what i'm looking for though what was his best movie signs and six cents six cents so those were to me like the uh the level of expectations i walked into the happening with the happening to me on a scale of one to ten was like a four like i thought it was a below average movie but the fact that it gapped from the ten i was hoping for it too okay you know had you seen that
Starting point is 03:23:09 i don't let me let me see the the order that they came out in because because if the the village was such a huge letdown and the uh the lady in the water was so so weird and and not my thing and i love um the that goofy quirky guy who's in it but but neither one of them did it for me i saw oh you're talking about um paul giamatti is in lady yeah i love paul giamatti i saw shamalan talking about his career arc or it was a written article but i didn't realize how low his low was like he had like three i'm making it up four bad movies in a row and no one called him anymore no one wanted him to do movies he was a joke he was a punchline this m night Shyamalan time magazine did a feature at the next
Starting point is 03:23:52 Steven Spielberg question mark so he started funding his own movies like he he mortgaged his house like he the only person on earth who still had faith in him was himself and uh and that's when he made what was his like comeback movie i thought it was split it might have been split yeah and he just he did it all on his own so here's the time you might be right um i want to find six cents here but i don't see it. Yeah, Sixth Sense. 1999, he has The Sixth Sense. 2000, he has Unbreakable, which isn't a huge moneymaker, but it's critically acclaimed and has a huge cult following. I love it.
Starting point is 03:24:34 The Village, or excuse me, Signs is 2002. So in 2002, he's had what, in my opinion, are three excellent films. Then in 2004, he makes The Village. Now The Village was marketed in a way that made it incredibly attractive to me. It was based in this sort of unknown time period, but it looked colonial.
Starting point is 03:24:56 It looked like people who had just made it to America and it looked like it was in the age of the Salem Witch Trials, something like that. And they were seemingly being attacked by some sort of a supernatural creature that was preying upon them. And so, you know, no guns, right? There's no way to overpower this.
Starting point is 03:25:16 You can't call the cops. You can't lock the door because it's a fucking wooden door. There's some sort of what looks like a werewolf stalking you. And then you get the twist and it's nothing like that and it's such a huge huge letdown say and then spoil it and then lady in the water in 2006 it's a better movie it's not my style of movie but it did poorly but i don't think it was poorly more of like an artsy kind of movie a little bit it was a fairy tale it was literally a fairy tale that he made up and told his children when they go to bed at night, and he made it into a movie.
Starting point is 03:25:50 Then, in 2008, he makes The Happening. And not only is it poorly cast. Is that the one where in the trailers it was like, everybody's falling, jumping off of buildings, and nobody knows why. Yeah. The trees are killing people. It's like suicide porn. Yeah, the trees.
Starting point is 03:26:04 And it makes no sense and it's just real garbage. And then came Devil in 2010. I liked Devil for what it was. I really did. I didn't think it was garbage. I watched it. I enjoyed it.
Starting point is 03:26:19 But I didn't think that it lived up to the legacy of Shyamalan and what I would expect from him. Then he did The Visit in 2015, which I honestly haven't seen. So I won't shit on that. I think that's when the kids go to visit the grandparents and they're all fucking weird and shit. Oh, that was actually really, really good. Yeah, I haven't seen it, but I've heard good things.
Starting point is 03:26:38 I didn't hear that this is garbage. I just haven't seen it yet. Everyone compared Bird Box to The Quiet quiet place but i thought it was happening well the bird box was written before the quiet place was made uh at all um so so it literally fucking sucked compared to quiet place yeah i don't like bird box bird box was like not very good yeah i liked it more than you did yeah sandra bullock's hot though like we were talking about this the other day when we're playing rust like like there's this like trio of 50 plus year old jewish new yorker women who are
Starting point is 03:27:10 hot as fuck what like sandra i don't know if sandra bullock's jewish so so i don't know either but can i guess another one go ahead you know it the one from my cousin vinny yes yes marissa tomei then comes julian julia i was gonna do it and then um what's her name from uh weeds oh um the one that looks like julia louise mary louise mary louise parker mary louise parker it's it's that that trio of like 50 plus year old new york jewish women who like have just stayed physically active and fit and just keep ripening with age somehow. Marissa Tomei is my favorite.
Starting point is 03:27:50 Marissa Tomei is still hot. And she still gets topless. It looks like Sandra Bullock is Jewish. Ah, yeah! A quattro of New York Jews. I don't usually think of
Starting point is 03:28:04 Jewish women as aging really well. I think of them like this. George Costanza's mother in Seinfeld. Is she Jewish? George! Yeah. Oh, God. His dad is the funny.
Starting point is 03:28:17 Oh, the doll that looks exactly like his mom. Is she Jewish? Is she still an actress? I have no idea. Probably. They all are. ben stiller jewish because if he's jewish then his dad's probably jewish yeah ben stiller is absolutely jewish are you sure i'm a thousand percent sure okay fine he's jewish i can look it up to be sure
Starting point is 03:28:38 i can spot one a mile away taylor you're on, Judar. I've been looking at you real hard lately, and I've been suspecting a bit of miscegenation in your heritage. Who, me or Taylor? Who did you just accuse? Taylor. Who did you just accuse? Miscegenation in your heritage. I demand a DNA test.
Starting point is 03:29:01 Oh. To determine if I am, in fact, a Jewish person. Yes, a mongrel of a human being. In which case you are no longer welcome on my plantation. No longer welcome anywhere near me, sir. Speaking of DNA tests, Snoop Dogg because I looked him up earlier, learned something new
Starting point is 03:29:16 about him. He's like 27% Native American Indian. He could have went to college and got a NITO scholarship. Ben Stiller is not Jewish. He's uh, Judaism is what he believes in. Oh But see Jew Jew to be a Jew is it there's a race of people who are Jewish and then there's a religion known as Judaism
Starting point is 03:29:37 Oh I don't give a fuck who he worships but but he's a Jew. Oh, okay. Yeah, he's probably like... Hitler wasn't exterminating them because they had a dreidel or some shit or anything. You know, a menorah hanging in their house. Well, Hitler was exterminating them for a lot of reasons. It seems like most Jewish people, or at least most of the ones I know, don't practice seriously their religion part at all. No. It's more just, oh, we do the celebrations and and the culture thing and we eat the matzo ball soup
Starting point is 03:30:07 sometimes but you know I'm making our house a place of worship you might have a different frame of reference if you were raised in New Jersey like me because they were oh I'm sure because all most of the Jewish people I know pretty much all the Jewish people what do you say New Jersey what he always says new jersey what he always says new jersey is infested which he always calls it jew jersey that's it that's what he says that's what he says yeah you know the ss officer's cap that i always regret because what do you outbid you what do you outbid you. Woody outbid me. Woody outbid me.
Starting point is 03:30:47 I won $1,000. Good lord. Just Woody sitting in his theater room with a Nazi cap on by himself. Watching Schindler's List jerking off. Oh my god. Jesus Christ. Get the little girl too. Get the little girl in red.
Starting point is 03:31:05 Dude, that movie is so fucking sad. I don't think I've seen it. He's watching Sophie's Choice. Like, both of them! Dude, I like pretty much anything with Liam Neeson. Even, like, Taken. I wasn't blown away. Or no, I saw Taken 2,
Starting point is 03:31:18 and I thought that wasn't very good. But even that, I liked it because of Liam Neeson. Like, he's a cool actor. First of all, he's really good. Except I find him unable to play the action roles now. There's just something about the way older guys move that's not athletic anymore. They start plodding. Gravity has – their legs don't have the same strength.
Starting point is 03:31:39 I don't know what it is. This happens with really pretty women that are cast as action heroes you know so they'll like jump up a chair and kick someone and it's like oh my god like you stepped up on that chair you didn't leap and bound like an athletic girl would wonder woman is not an example of this she's actually athletic but a lot of really pretty girls that are another another jew oh yeah but she's probably athletic because you have to uh you have to serve in the military in israel and so you'll have to get military training you know i hear you but i don't think that makes every israeli woman athletic i think she just is yeah i don't know what the training's like but um but yeah if you watched
Starting point is 03:32:21 all the other amazons in that movie or or most of them, they are Amazonian women, whatever you call them. They just look like models pretending to be fighters, like play fighting. They suck. Claire, I saw you in that Amazon movie. Was she in the Amazon movie? Yeah, of course she was. I never saw it, no. Yeah.
Starting point is 03:32:40 What was that movie with Liam Neeson where he was fighting wolves? The Grey, and it's garbage. The Grey. Oh, no, you're so full of shit. Dude, that movie is amazing. I liked The Grey. That movie is so good. Oh, Kyle is out of it.
Starting point is 03:32:54 Calm down for your cancerous wife flashback and the analogy to just letting go. No, thank you. No, it was good. No, it was not good. You were wrong about Captain America. You were right about Salt, but you're wrong about this. I'm telling you, I watched the ad campaign that came out before the break.
Starting point is 03:33:15 God damn it. And let me tell you, they advertised this thing like it was Liam Neeson versus a pack of wolves. They even show the scene where he's got the broken mini bottles of vodka between his knuckles. Which was badass. Which was badass. It's the last three minutes of the movie. Okay? It's not a wolf fighting movie.
Starting point is 03:33:33 It's a accepting your fate movie and making peace with death movie. Kyle, it can't be a wolf fighting movie. It's lured with flashbacks of his cancerous wife succumbing to her disease. Give me a fucking break. That's what made it so cool. That's what made it so cool. It's just like this guy, like his wife was dying, so the guy has nothing else to live for.
Starting point is 03:33:56 So he's like, whatever, if I'm going to die, I'm going to die fighting a fucking pack of wolves. How much more badass does it get than that? He didn't do any wolf fighting. That's the problem. See, that's my point, is that the movie didn't do any wolf fighting. That's my point. The movie can't be a wolf fighting movie because he's not a superhero. It's just a dude.
Starting point is 03:34:10 If it was a wolf fighting movie, the movie would be that end of the three minutes. Don't forget, he's only there to kill wolves. The oil pipeline has hired him to be their wolf killer. But he's not going out there with bottles in his hands to fight him. Of course not. You break the
Starting point is 03:34:26 bottles. Fair enough. There's an extended scene for that movie where after he he's like, come on! And he fights the alpha wolf. It slow pans to him leaning against the wolf's dead
Starting point is 03:34:41 body and breathing heavily. And honestly, that kind of made it better when I saw that. I was like, alright, so he killed the wolf's dead body and like breathing heavily and i'm and like honestly that kind of made it better when i saw that i was like all right so he killed the wolf good deal good deal or at least they both died i'm okay with that too in the same way that the unbreakable in my opinion must be watched into the extended version so you get to see bruce willis fucking pump 600 up twice on bench press because that that gives you an idea of his level of power which is important to me as a viewer it's like how strong is bruce like i get he can survive a train crash there's a little flashback i'm sorry what movie is this unbreakable there's a little flashback where he
Starting point is 03:35:15 literally rips the door off a sedan but how strong is base level bruce willis and they show you virtually exactly how strong he is because he benches right at 600 pounds. Did they run out of weights? Yeah, crazy. That's in the standard version. They show him in his basement with the paint cans and his normal bench press set up and his son sneaks the plates on.
Starting point is 03:35:38 He's like, how much was that? He's like, 250 pounds. That's the most I've ever done. The kid's like, what else do we have? Then they show him benching that 250 with paint cans. Then, because he's a security guard at the college stadium, all the college football players in the background milling around. They're very loud and boisterous and having multiple conversations while he slides plate after plate after plate.
Starting point is 03:36:00 Then that all goes silent and you get this theme music, this orchestra music, this orchestra music as he focuses and cranks out two reps of 600. When he sits it back down, he sits up and looks back at it and all the college football players are just staring, just gobsmacked.
Starting point is 03:36:17 It's completely silent in the room. That scene is required for the movie. I can't believe it. I don't think I've seen it. I've read about it. We've watched it on the show. We have. I remember. I was just going to say we should look for it on YouTube. Yeah, we've literally watched it on the show.
Starting point is 03:36:31 I need to see it again. Good stuff. That's the thing. Movies are getting to be kind of a waste of money with me and my Alzheimer's. It's not really an investment. You lose it and it's gone. I don't even ask people's names anymore. What's the point?
Starting point is 03:36:49 One of those end of the movie, like you were talking about Liam Neeson and the wolf, like, oh, maybe he's okay. To tie it back to one of the superhero things, one of those I liked from one of the older X-Men movies, I don't remember which one it was, but it was the one where uh uh magneto at the end of it they like steal all his magnet powers and he's playing chess with some other
Starting point is 03:37:10 fogey and he does like a like a little thing with his hand and then it shows like a little like like a little half half maybe a movement of the chess piece and like i never watched it obviously didn't pull me that in because I didn't follow up. I was like, I hope he gets his powers back because Magneto was my favorite character in that one. Does he get his powers back, Magneto? I don't think he had another movie
Starting point is 03:37:36 after that. No. That's probably not canon. No, no, no. The last one he was in... Magneto's lost his powers before. The last one he was in after that, I think, was Days of Future Past. Yeah, and then they cut it loose. Probably because he got too old.
Starting point is 03:37:53 Well, I know in X... Let's see, there was... There was X-Men 1. At the end of X-Men 1, they put him in a plastic prison. X-2, I think, is when they busted him out. I don't remember how X2 ended, which might be the ending you're talking about.
Starting point is 03:38:07 And then X-Men 3 didn't exist. And so then we go into Data Future Pass with Ian McKellar. I like that scene where the one, I guess, X-Men 1, when he's trying to escape the plastic prison and what's-her- name Mystique karate chops her way into the bathroom and injects a man with like multiple like a half gallon of
Starting point is 03:38:32 liquid metal and the guy stands up after that and is like oh I feel woozy. It's like no you're dead. Too much iron in your blood. Either way that was fucking cool. He draws it out of the corrupt prison yard and
Starting point is 03:38:47 now he has a sphere of metal that he can make into a platelet. As he walks, it's appearing before him. Yeah, that was super cool. That was super cool. When I watched that movie, I thought he had the powers I would want the most. I thought they were so cool. Yeah, Magneto.
Starting point is 03:39:03 Give me a crossbow and he is fucked. A crossbow? There's metal on it. No, there's not. There's a plastic tip, maybe. We won't use a metal tip. We'll just use a book. We'll all wear armor. He does, actually.
Starting point is 03:39:18 I just think get that helmet, but that's just to protect him. I can throw cars. He's got a leather suit. You don't even have a metal tip. I can steal people's fillings. That was the thing with RoboCop. That was the thing about RoboCop. It's like, shoot him in the mouth!
Starting point is 03:39:36 Shoot him in the mouth, you fools! Why are you aiming at the chest and going full AK spray? Someone shoot him in the mouth. I'm going to steal every copper IUD in the world and cause the population to skyrocket. Then that's his plan.
Starting point is 03:39:53 That would have been fucked if he pulled a woman's IUD. Yeah, you have to remove those carefully, Taylor. That makes me cringe just thinking about that. You've made a great error, Xavier. Is that a Prince Albert? It's like a billion pussies cried out all at once. Do they still use copper in those? They're plastic now, right?
Starting point is 03:40:15 There's copper and there's other kinds. Copper is one of the most effective kinds and one of the most chosen because it doesn't introduce hormones into your body. And a lot of girls get fucked from some of those hormones. Their personality changes and they get weird. But apparently it also seems unpleasant.
Starting point is 03:40:34 Or even worse, they get fat. Yeah. Can't deal with that. Don't even put that thought in the ether. Fat over weird every day. If there was male birth control, would you take it, or would you be too afraid of side effects? I'd be afraid of side effects.
Starting point is 03:40:56 I mean, I would let it go through. I would let lots of other men be the guinea pigs. Oh, for sure. I'm going to let them storm that beach. I like to think that it has positive side effects like woody uh would you take would you like take testosterone if it hurts your fertility yeah yeah that sounds like a win-win that's i'm not looking for more kids and i want to get buff like there must be can they not do that? I mean – We need to define the side effects.
Starting point is 03:41:25 That's what I'm saying. Yeah. Like if it gave me powers, if they were like, you'll be able to do – like you'll be able to lift like 1,000 pounds tomorrow if you take this. Well, yeah. You're stretching it a bit. But I just – not every side effect is negative. They're like, you lose your fertility and you remember movies.
Starting point is 03:41:43 Like, oh, here we go. That'd be great. You lose your fertility and now remember movies. Like, oh, that'd be great. You lose your fertility and now you can make your way to the nearest post office. This sounds like an M. Night Shyamalan film. Who is the girl in that picture? That's Brandy Bullfrog. That's Brandy, his ex-girlfriend? Yeah, we call her Brandy Bullfrog.
Starting point is 03:42:05 Why Bullfrog? Because she's ugly we call her Brandy Bullfrog. Why Bullfrog? I don't. Because she's ugly and she looks like a bullfrog. And we call his, so one of my friends' Steam name is Kenny, the initial B, Pillin. Because Wing's brother's name is Kenny and he has a prescription pill addiction. So he's Kenny B. Pillin'. Jesus Christ. And he always be pillin'.
Starting point is 03:42:29 Whenever we have a downturn, whenever we're bored or whatever, I'll be like, what's up, Kenny? You pillin' hard? And he goes, yeah, pillin' hard. All of your bases have gone from gathering sulfur to just like, everybody go out and gather as much paint as possible.
Starting point is 03:42:46 We need to have an insulting shrine to wings on this server. My vanity project knows no bounds. I'm on there as literally Emperor Napoleon and Scarface, and then there's wings sucking four fingers.
Starting point is 03:43:02 And Gangster Grandma's over there as E.T. She's got E.T.'s torso and glowing finger. Where are we picking And Gangster Grandma's over there as E.T. Like she's got E.T.'s torso and glowing finger. Why are we picking on Gangster Grandma? I'm going to stick up for her for a minute. She seems like a non-participant in this thing. You know, when you put yourself on social media, you put yourself in a position
Starting point is 03:43:18 where people have an opinion on you. We've all accepted this. Gangster Grandma didn't do that. She's just trying to... Well, I'm not hitting her up on Twitter and blasting her. Just Twitter and getting blasted. Just here and Russ, really. I don't think she has a Twitter. Yeah, she does. No way. A bunch of people fake
Starting point is 03:43:34 them. Yeah. I may or may not have a gangster grandma parody account. At gangstergrannybpillin.org You can head on over there for all your Gangster Granny memes. No, I I'm not pulling any
Starting point is 03:43:52 punches. No, you're not. I'm not painting the paintings. I'm not even orchestrating. They just happen. They just happen. You're the king in the kingdom and you're going, well, the art is just kind of the culture of the folks around. It literally is the culture.
Starting point is 03:44:07 I'm out, like, I don't know, chopping trees or shooting people or sailing boats or whatever, and I come back home, and there's Gangster Grandma ZT on the side of the base. I like to think that if they raid your base, they'll be so disappointed that the contents are nothing but, like, I don't know, arrows and pictures. There's nothing but paintings in here. Paintings and a lot of booby traps.
Starting point is 03:44:29 A couple nights ago, this is a bit of Russ talk, but I think people kind of like it. A couple nights ago, we had been playing for 12 hours straight. We had started at 7 p.m. I finished PKM on Tuesday evening, and it was 7 p.m. like right after I finished PKN on Tuesday evening, and it was 7 a.m., and we decided we were going to raid the biggest base that we knew of. It's just a colossal structure, many exterior walls.
Starting point is 03:44:55 It's huge, gargantuan. Like eight guys in there have been slaving away for a month. And so four of us go out, and we decide to take this thing on, and we start blowing the walls apart with rockets And of course that attracts a lot of attention and these they're not online these people you're attacking The people were raiding are not online They're asleep, but others in the server are online and rockets are so loud that they're coming after us They're trying to quote what's called counter rate us. They're coming to kill us and
Starting point is 03:45:22 Take advantage of the holes we blast blasted in the base, perhaps take our explosives and continue the raid. That way, they've invested none of the explosive, and they reap all the benefits. So, three of us are just waiting for somebody to come while one of us blows his way into the base, and sure enough, they come.
Starting point is 03:45:40 We kill them, they come right back ten minutes later, and every ten minutes, they come back again, and it's just this super high-adrenaline terror because they keep coming back, and if they kill us, all is lost. But we kill them three times in a row, and they're like, GG, guys, in the chat.
Starting point is 03:45:56 There's like an all chat. GG, guys. Enjoy the raid. Like, we don't want it anymore. And we're like, all right, victory, victory. We blow our way all the way into this base, and now it's time to start getting the loot home and the loot is absurd.
Starting point is 03:46:09 We don't have room to store the loot. Like the first thing I have to do is build chests to put the loot in. There's no place to put the chests in our base. So I just cover the floor with them. So now the floor you walk on chests, every inch of the base is nothing but chests. And so me and two of us me and one other guy
Starting point is 03:46:25 make boat trips back and forth to their base each time we fill our inventory with loot the boat's inventory with loot and by loot i mean guns like like like i'm carrying 30 guns there's 30 more in the boat and then he's carrying 30 more and we're carrying back it's absurd we're stealing hundreds of guns thousands of rounds of ammunition and hundreds of like armor plate plate sets and uh by the end of it we played for 17 and a half hours straight it took us five hours it took us five hours to get all of their shit home and when we finally got done it was just like all right we can go to bed with a base so full of loot that we're the richest people in this whole fucking server. It kind of seems like your base isn't proportionally strong enough to defend it, right?
Starting point is 03:47:12 Our base is the strongest base on the server. It was stronger than the one you raided. Oh, yeah. Oh, big time. Okay, okay. Stay corrected. Ours has a lot of ingenuity built into it. It's not just built big.
Starting point is 03:47:21 It's built smart. It would be very... We calculated at one point, even if they knew the most efficient way to get in, how many rockets or C4 it would take. They essentially wouldn't profit from doing it. It would take $10,000
Starting point is 03:47:38 to get it. It would take $10,000 to get in. The dollars doesn't matter. Take $10,000 of fuel to get in and you only get $7,000 back. You lose $3,000 to get in the dollars aren't doesn't matter just right, you know Take ten thousand dollars of fuel to get in and you only get seven thousand back You lose three thousand just by like attacking us and and and you may or may not even make it past all the traps like it was we Met a new guy and and he's got three or three thousand hours thirty five hundred hours of rust and That's that's one of his fortes, his base building.
Starting point is 03:48:06 He's also very good at PVP. And he's been my right-hand man in this most recent rust experience. Oh, it's good that you have him. I was going to say that, again, me drawing the parallels, but sometimes you think you've got something great, and then you rediscover what great really looks like. Yeah, and he explained that he's done that so many times, and it was comforting to hear him say it because in Civilization V, I always say at 100 hours, I thought I knew everything.
Starting point is 03:48:31 And then I got to 500, and I realized I knew nothing at 100. And then at 1,000, I realized I knew nothing at 500. And now at 1,500 or wherever I am now, or maybe 2,000, I don't know, I realize that I've never known anything at all and that I still have more to learn if I want to be at that top 1% of Civilization players. I'm definitely in the top 3%, but if I want to be the top 1% of Civilization players, there's still more to go. And this guy explained the same situation with his Rust play, and he's at 3,500 now. And, of course, there are people with 6,000, 8,000 hours.
Starting point is 03:49:07 I talked to H June the other day, I jumped in his stream and then Chad with him a bit. Say his name slower. H the letter H and then the month June. Okay. Uh, he's, um, he's, uh, he's like, I've talked about it on the show before and he even like, he watches the show a little bit or somebody linked him the clip and like he,
Starting point is 03:49:24 he put the clip of me like talking about how good he is like in a video recently kind of shouted us out or whatever and uh he's he's like i said it then and i meant it he's like the shroud of um rust he's very entertaining to watch uh and uh and very very good he offered to come play with us but i feel like if he comes play with and plays with us he'll bring a lot of high-level players who might want to get after him. And we're not that great at the person versus person combat. And I'm not sure that I want the high level of competition that will come along with him. Yeah, yeah. Do you play Rust at all, Rob?
Starting point is 03:50:00 I've never played either. No, I never played. Honestly, I was a Call of Duty player back in the day. But not really much of a Rust. I mean, I played Overwatch and dabbled a little bit here and there. I know of it. I know Rust is hugely popular. Never really played it. Have you kind of fallen
Starting point is 03:50:15 out of interest with video games? Because you're just so busy doing your stuff? Not really, man. It's just like Call of Duty was my go-to, man. Black Ops 1 was my breakout game. And then it all, I think, I think Call of Duty went to shit after Modern Warfare 3. But, but yeah, no, I mean, like going back and playing those games occasionally, that's, that's really, that's really the only game for the most part that I stick to. I mean, like Destiny 2, I play that a little bit, but I don't know. I mean, video games are more,
Starting point is 03:50:43 not really something I lost interest in so much as i just kind of narrow down the ones that i play that makes any sense oh totally yeah like i pretty much only play magic the gathering online or magic the gathering arena or some any kind of rts like age of empires age mythology but i don't know. Maybe I'll get into rust. I need, I would need to get that my PC built before I can even jump on that. So all the games I saw lately are PVE, like player versus environment, because it just takes a big time investment to get good enough to have fun PVP, at least for me,
Starting point is 03:51:20 like I don't like getting my butt kicked in video games. So that's what would happen if I were to jump into, I but you know definitely cod if i jumped in there i'd just be cannon fodder for good players and yeah rust is if i go back to cod i'm going back to cod 4 remastered and just play on that yeah i mean i do that now like i'll play black ops 1 on on xbox one or something like that i mean i've got like 64 days played in that game so like i played i played the hell out of it back in the day. But no, I mean, that's the weird thing, man. Like there's nothing like being good at something, right?
Starting point is 03:51:52 Like to be like exceedingly good. Like when myself and Ryan used to play, like there was one time we got in a lobby with Pwnstar for hire. We fucked him up and we played a, we ended up in a game. Yeah, he's a good player too. Yeah, we ended up in a game with XJaws.
Starting point is 03:52:04 We made him rage quit. Yeah, like there was a game yeah we ended up in a game with x jaws we made a rage quit um yeah like there was a there was a point where we could go into games and we knew we would win like like we'd sit down and say okay we're gonna play 10 games tonight and we might lose one there well there was one game we end up with a mark of jay like he he all over us but uh yeah he's he's exceedingly good but but yeah like there yeah, there was no feeling like being that good at something. It's really, really good. Rust has the highest PvP skill ceiling I've ever seen in any game ever. Controlling the AK-47 is the best gun in the game.
Starting point is 03:52:37 And all the guys are like, oh, I got an AK. I'm so happy. I don't use an AK. I have 15 in a box. I'm not picking that fucking thing up because I know I shouldn't carry it because I don't know an ak i i have i have 15 in a box i'm not picking that fucking thing up because i know i shouldn't carry it because i don't know how to fucking use it and neither do any of the rest of us it is what the recall pattern is this z that and that might sound easy oh it goes five up into the right and then six up into the left i'll just pull down into the left
Starting point is 03:53:01 and then down into the right in practice that does not work it it is so so difficult to use it incredible and so when you run into someone who can use it yeah the shooting slower hill sometimes but then you're not competitive yeah then you might as well be using a semi-automatic rifle it's it's it's when you run into somebody like like if you were to watch a bad player like me use it my ak is going is like like i'm shooting this big cone around the guy and and like maybe three out of ten shots will hit him when you watch hg and shoot an ak it sits fucking still it sits fucking still like it's a cod 4 ak that you just have to pull down a little bit and just hold in place and it's like oh well i would never win a gunfight against that guy it's not you you would
Starting point is 03:53:50 just literally never win against him not a fair one you need to jump right even then even then i don't know i don't know like like maybe if you got a shotgun like an insta kill weapon but like if you if i shot him in the back at medium range and i didn't kill him before he could whip around he'd kill me he'd absolutely kill me if we had that the same gear set on the same amount of armor he's and and we run into guys in fucking in the game that are just all right well let's try to get the jump on them next time because that didn't go well at all that went real poorly what is a better new weapon like is there an m4 maybe it there there actually is so there's an m4 in the game but you can't craft it you can only buy it from an in-game store or get it from an airdrop and
Starting point is 03:54:38 both of those options make it extremely rare i had like the server wiped yesterday so we lost our things but all the things that we acquired in our week or so of play we had maybe three or four lrs i carried an lr because like like an m4 maybe i don't know yes i'm sorry yeah let's just call an m4 for like these purposes but it's essentially an m4 and uh it has controllable recoil and medium damage and it's my preference for sure i can operate it quite well i win a lot of gunfights with it even against ak's it does less damage but it's more controllable so i'm only going to lose usually against someone who's much much better than me i might win against someone who's just better than me because it's just a better gun but you can only buy it in game
Starting point is 03:55:23 and its cost is expensive there There are shops set up within the game environment, and you have to go there and give them a currency that's in-game that's scrap. Scrap is used for a lot of purposes, but one of them is to purchase weapons in the game, and it's one of the guns that you can purchase. And, you know, if you lose it, you've lost
Starting point is 03:55:40 it. You know, with an AK, once you get one, you research it, now I can create them myself for not an incredibly high cost. It is costly, once you get one, you research it, now I can create them myself for not an incredibly high cost. It is costly, but it's nothing that's going to break the bank in materials that are used to craft it. I can make 20 AKs at this point, but
Starting point is 03:55:56 like I said, I don't want to run the AK because I'm so, so bad with it. But the LR, I'm pretty fucking good with, I think. Yeah, it's an interesting game. And there's a lot of things to do. You can do whatever you want. Like sometimes we'll spend,
Starting point is 03:56:11 sometimes I'll spend two hours, I'll get real drunk. And I'll put on full, I'll put on full scuba gear and I'll get in a boat with a sword and a handgun and I'll go out into the ocean where there are these heaps of trash floating around
Starting point is 03:56:24 and I'll just break the barrels that are in that trash and take like the random loot within them and then I'll dive down to the bottom of the ocean and I'll loot like the boxes that are in these like crashed ships, sunken ships. I'll do that for two hours till I sober up and by the time I'm done I got like enough. I got a whole bunch of usable components that make guns and doors and all kinds of other gear and in that way i feel like i've helped my team a lot or sometimes we'll all get in a boat and with jack hammers and chainsaws and we'll go to a remote island that no one lives on and we'll mine it dry you know we'll we'll get all of the sulfur and steel and stone and wood that exists on that
Starting point is 03:57:00 island and those trips are fun like it might sound boring like oh you chop like the grind because like while you're chopping wood a grizzly bear might come right at you you know like there's grizzly bears and wolves and wild boar and stuff and like you never know when some asshole is actually going to be on the island to kill you so you've always got to have your guard up and looking around while you chainsaw that thing about going to the bottom and looking for trash i have a facebook friend who does that in real life and it's amazing to me it's fascinating it is the least appealing activity for me on the planet he gets in a full wetsuit gets scuba gear he goes to the bottom of like dirty lakes and rivers and finds garbage and gets so excited about it this guy was put on this earth to find 19 year old plastic toys and then
Starting point is 03:57:54 identify what they might have been back in the day they don't have any value right like it is garbage he is pulling out but he'll be like look look at this it's a quarter of a stop sign and you're like yeah like that's trash the people are throwing trash in the water and you're picking it out like it was a buried treasure and he was so happy he posted on facebook like three times a week he just out there he's investing in like better underwater photography gear so he can show the adventure of actually unearthing like a broken laptop and just digging it out from the mud and and i i just watch it again and again and again and i'm like wow i i i can't i wouldn't like anything less but he's just it is his cup of tea
Starting point is 03:58:40 so yeah so like a man with a passion yeah it's uh um i have some uh some ama questions here taylor this one is for you this gentleman by the way if you want to ask us these ama questions just become a patreon down below there's a very affordable level on there if you click that link and you'll be able to submit questions to us and we answer when we answer them uh as long as they're not fucking stupid. That is our qualifier. That's the only qualifier. Don't ask a stupid fucking question.
Starting point is 03:59:12 Taylor, how did your grandparents like the new TV that you promised us that you would buy them? Oh, they fucking love it. Like we were, so they were, my grandparents built this beautiful home like years and years ago uh
Starting point is 03:59:28 and they put these tvs in and they were like flat screen the first like flat screen where it was like that thick you know and they had gotten so old that like there was just a bar of red down one of them and my grandma was such a sweet woman who just doesn't really mind that much she's like you know i don't really notice it too much unless you know it really you point it out i don't even mind it's like grandma we're watching football and you can't see like 20 yards of the field at a given point and so i uh i thought it'd be a good idea to get a tv and so like we we took it took it was fucking hard to unmount these TVs because they were so fucking old and had been there for so long,
Starting point is 04:00:09 but we got them off, got the smart TV in there. And then like, they were blown away by like the, so you don't, we don't have to plug anything into this. We just plug it in. And then,
Starting point is 04:00:18 and then I can just use this remote. And she's like, well, my God, now this is so much better, Taylor. Thank you so much. And she was sitting there watching it. And I was was like showing her like walking her through and being like all
Starting point is 04:00:29 right so if you want to go to netflix you go boop boop boop boop boop and i'd be like all right go back to home and i'd give it to her and i go get to netflix and she figured it out like pretty much immediately nice that's so intuitive grandma uh-huh yeah yeah they're so well she she's been my grandpa would wouldn't pick it up as quickly because he still doesn't like texting. He doesn't like anything like that. He lives in a world dominated by John Deere, not Sony. Yes.
Starting point is 04:00:55 Not Sony or any of those things. But yeah, they fucking loved the TV. It's definitely the best gift I've ever given to them. And so, yeah i they were very very pleased with it all right here's a good one for our guest what is a super practical superpower that you would like to have also having a parking spot um here's some examples and i don't know about them always having a parking spot close to the front of the park lot your clothes will always fit you or you plug something in on your
Starting point is 04:01:25 first try. Those are lame superpowers, honestly. So I guess I'll just ask you, what superpower would you like to have? The ability to reach in my pocket and have as much money as I need for any particular point in time. That's a pretty good superpower.
Starting point is 04:01:43 I saw that one in a tv show once oh really yeah it was uh it was not it was almost that like it was set in these like olden times every time he reached in there were like gold and silver coins but yeah it was basically that sounds badass yeah i think well i think that the trade-off was that um he kept that superpower so long as he didn't bathe or do any hygiene. So his hair and fingernails got long and he became disgusting but he had this money. Sounds like a Twilight Zone
Starting point is 04:02:12 episode. Such a good show. Yeah, it does. Oh, yeah. Any more questions, Kyle? You gotta wade through the shit. Taylor, do you have one? An everyday superpower you'd like oh man uh to be able to wish away body hair i was gonna say it's funny along the first one be gone as you were saying that be gone i'm like double my metabolism right
Starting point is 04:02:43 like we each have our own oh that's that's even oh yeah i would take more body hair if it meant that i could double my metabolism or the ability to eat and drink whatever you want with no negative health repercussions in fact your body makes you stronger so you could eat you can drink beer and eat pizza and your body will convert that into the complex amino acids you need to be an elite human athlete. And all you do is get drunk and eat pizza. My body converts refined sugar into muscle.
Starting point is 04:03:12 Yeah, just pure muscle. Just survive on Snickers and look like Arnold Schwarzenegger. That would be a good one. Or to be able to just impose feelings of embarrassment on people, even when they haven't done anything. Just be like, watch people be like,
Starting point is 04:03:26 oh my goodness. That's such a dick. That's so horrible. She mess with us during the show. Here's one. Your top three must, it says must need, but that's not a thing, must have, I'll correct you, features of your ideal perfect woman.
Starting point is 04:03:41 And it gives three categories, physically, emotionally, and ideologically. Now, physically, any pussy. Emotionally, the ability to roll with the punches and not take everything as a big tragedy, right? To see the silver lining on things and to be like, well, this will be over in a month. We can fix this with a little bit of money. We can fix this with a little bit of work. Not a big deal. Get over it. ruined it's one fucking night the ability to do that and ideologically is the third one i'm answering these as i go clearly ideologically i'm looking for someone who's who's common sense oriented right not a conservative not a liberal a common sense oriented
Starting point is 04:04:20 person who's looking at the way that things affect them and us as in as like a couple as a as a family group as whatever or as or herself as an individual and then reaching her opinions ideologically based on those things not based on group think or or what uh the red team thinks or the blue team thinks or the green team thinks or whatever the fuck. Not saying, well, I'm for abortion because all of the blue people are. Because I hate kids. I hate them. That's a good reason. If you just hate kids and that's why you're for abortion, I'm on board with that. You have ideologically made a common sense,
Starting point is 04:05:01 this affects me in this way, decision.. Now it might be a little evil that you just want more children to be killed, but, but it still fits within what I'm looking for from you ideologically. I'm not saying you have to be a perfectly moral person. I want you to come to your decisions from a common sense standpoint though. So, so those are my three. Those are good three. I have. Yeah. have yeah all right so the the first one was physical i put flat tummy now i mentioned this a bunch of times i think if a woman has a flat tummy i can pretty much rest assured that the rest of the package is just fine right if you got that everything else is going to be okay by me um what was the second category emotionally emotionally
Starting point is 04:05:43 i wrote supportive of each other i feel like that if I have that in a woman, then emotionally, like if she's on my team and I'm on hers, that is the number one aspect of our relationship emotionally that I'm looking for. And the last one was ideologically. I put beliefs based on a practical kindness. So that's where they should just be born out of a practical desire to be kind, you know, not give away, not ruin yourself for the benefit of others, but a practical kindness. Yeah, that's good.
Starting point is 04:06:11 What do you got, Rob? Man, well, I met the girl of my dreams, so I guess I can just describe her. Okay, so. Happy trail. So emotionally, emotionally mature right like able able to understand the fact that sometimes shit just happens and like being able to grasp that being able to understand that and being able to cope with that you know being able to move forward that um that's related to kyle had a similar physically and ideologically yes we agree very much on that one that you just
Starting point is 04:06:43 mentioned physically and ideologically um ide, we agree very much on that one that you just mentioned. Physically and ideologically. Ideologically, the ability to stand in the face of the world and say, I think you're wrong. I'm right. Like, that's important to me. Like, having that independence streak. Okay. And then physically, just, I mean, she's strikingly beautiful. So, yeah.
Starting point is 04:07:02 I mean, it's crazy. She's got this walk like this super confident walk like she walks like a runway model and it's just like holy shit but uh yeah no i mean yeah just attractive so nice that's cool you can tell you really love her based on like something that little minute that's better she's really got something on you either way i'm happy we see a picture of her walking and it's like from the Ministry of Silly Walks. She doesn't give a shit what anyone thinks. She did that. She came walking out.
Starting point is 04:07:32 Like, we're going out to dinner somewhere. She's like, I'll be downstairs. And then she comes downstairs in the Ministry of Silly Walks. I guess I'll go. Physically, red hair. I really like red hair. Emotionally, would be, I guess, the ability to settle me down. Like if I lose my temper or get angry or like want to just freak out about things, I do okay about that for the most part, but I still lose my temper sometimes.
Starting point is 04:08:00 And my girl that I'm with right now does a fantastic job of that. She'll really get my temper going going she'll really calm me down uh and then ideologically like doesn't like more like able rolls with any kind of joke subject at all like no matter how offensive no matter how horrible like she'll be able to be like, oh, he's fucking around and get jokes and enjoy more harsh humor like that. I don't know if that really fits in. I guess I'd be like a free speech thing ideologically. I don't know.
Starting point is 04:08:34 But yeah, someone who is willing to find the humor in really fucking macabre things. Yeah, there are some people who cling so strongly to their own ideological beliefs that they can't joke about them. There are some people who are so religious that a Jesus joke is just literally sacrilege.
Starting point is 04:08:56 There are some people who are so against abortion that they could never make an abortion joke. There are some people who are so extreme on the side of like feminism that they can't see the humor and some rape jokes sometimes they're funny all right they just are yeah you know some they're offensive they're disgusting they're gross but they're funny i mean i don't think i've ever heard of a funny rape joke but no i understand what you're
Starting point is 04:09:21 saying like people people take their ideologies and they attach them to their personality. So it's like, if you don't like this thing, you don't like me. So yeah, yeah, exactly. Those would be my three. Well, uh, Kyle, is there anything to roll with? Or before we even do that, Rob, where can everybody find your booming channel? That's much bigger
Starting point is 04:09:40 than the show. Um, uh, you can find me on YouTube, uh, comics explained and then Twitter at comics explained. And yeah, bigger than a shelf. You can find me on YouTube, Comics Explained, and then Twitter at Comics Explained. The only real social media platforms that I use. Sounds good. I'll look you up on there right now. Check him out if you want the nitty gritty details on
Starting point is 04:09:56 everything comic book related. He has long format videos where he essentially tells you the story of a mini book series of stories that may have been told over the period of months or even a year or something like that. But he also has these sort of, he described them as clickbait. I don't love that description because they're good content. But there are videos like, how do you kill Wolverine?
Starting point is 04:10:17 Or who is the one above all? Or like, you know, how did this happen? Who does this? Who can kill this? Who's the most powerful amongst this group? Stuff like that. And they're all really fun. Sometimes they're, they're eight minute little bites of, of good content. And sometimes they're literally two, two to three hours of really great content. So yeah. Uh, check him out. I appreciate you coming on the show. Really enjoyed you had a good time. Yeah, man. Yeah. Thanks for having me on here. This is awesome.
Starting point is 04:10:43 Yeah. You got to come back on again, dude. Yeah yeah we'd love to have you again all right so 50 years in the future a daring team is recruited to pilot a new form of weaponized neuroscience that powers devastating mecca but they must be willing to sacrifice everything to save the world gen lock a new animated series starring michael b jordan maizey williams and david tennant tint stream it for free right now exclusively on rooster teeth Links for all of our sponsors down below. And I think that's it. I've been looking for a rape joke like it's a challenge. You said you've never heard of a funny one.
Starting point is 04:11:14 I've been scouring the internet. If you Google rape joke, all you hear is about people who got in trouble for rape jokes. Patrice O'Neill has some good ones. Oh, God, Patrice O'Neill. Dude, he passed away, didn't he? Yeah, 2011. R.I.P. Has it really been like
Starting point is 04:11:29 eight years? Jesus. It's crazy. Well, shit. It's not easy to find a quick rape joke. I thought there'd be a whole page of them. I even found rapejoke.com and there's not a list of rape jokes. There was a website called T-Shirt Hell back in the day and a buddy of mine,
Starting point is 04:11:47 a guy I used to work with, came in and he was showing it to me. There was one shirt they had that I'll never forget. It said, rape is no laughing matter unless you're raping a clown. But aside from that, yeah. See, that's a funny joke.
Starting point is 04:12:03 I guess. See, you did it for me. All right. Pink You Are Ready, episode 423.

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