Painkiller Already - Painkiller Already #423
Episode Date: February 1, 2019On this week's PKA, this week we have Rob aka Comics Explained come on the show to finally shoot the shit with everyone about all things superhero and Marvel, in addition to that Taylor recounts every...one with his epic adventure using Bluechew for the first time and then the guys look into a crazy woman who done axed some people up in a 7-11. Classic PKA.
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Pinkular Ready, episode 423.
Our guest Rob from Comics Explained will be joining us about halfway through.
Kyle?
Few sponsors tonight.
Casper, Audible, GetQuip, BlueChew, which I'm very excited about,
MeUndies, and RoosterTeeth.
In 50 years in the future, a daring team is recruited
to pilot a new form of weaponized neuroscience that powers devastating mecha.
But they must be willing
to sacrifice everything to save the world jen lock is a new animated series starring michael b jordan
maizey williams and david tennant stream it free now exclusively on rooster teeth that's pretty
impressive they've got some serious uh star power there with michael b jordan and maizey
and you know that's aria from game of Thrones? I know that, Taylor.
I could have used the reminder. I'm probably not alone.
There's probably someone out there who also benefited from that.
It's my understanding Michael B. Jordan
was not just a basketball player. He's the Black Panther.
He's both. He's both.
We've all seen Space Jam.
Who was that?
That was loud as fuck.
That wasn't my notification.
Looks like my Postmates is on the way.
Mute your fucking notifications.
Don't know how to do that.
That's the last one, though, so don't worry.
No, because you always order
two or three different things.
I got one coffee, Taylor. Just one.
Why did they do that?
That's so fucking funny that you postmates a coffee.
I'm almost here with my cinnamon
dolce latte.
Did you wake up recently?
Or are you hankering for some cinnamon latte?
I felt a little drained.
I woke up quite early this morning
with not a ton of sleep, and I felt a little
low energy coming into the show,
especially with all of the vodka that I was consuming.
And I thought, I need a bit of caffeine to, to ride high into this thing.
So we're at like energy level four out of 10 right now,
but Hannah is about to knock on the door any second now.
And we're going to hook this on up to a 10. I think if I zoom in,
she's almost in the driveway. Oh, she's here. Yeah, she's here.
I'll keep her in anticipation. Yeah, we've got a little, I've been low energy too lately
Because of all the vodka right?
Yes that's it
No I so
I got a cold and I think I sound good now
But I don't feel great
You sound back to normal
That's my interpretation of me too
I might have some Sudafed and stuff that helps
But I'm just feeling a little Jesus normal. That's my interpretation of me, too. I might have some Sudafed and stuff. That helps. But, uh,
I'm just feeling a little white.
Jesus fucking Christ,
Kyle.
I only ordered one thing. I bet we're gonna get two
more of those fuckers. Yeah, there's one.
There's one left. Here comes the third.
One left, yeah.
Huh?
Yeah, there were
three more, asshole.
Of course. You ordered what? huh yeah yeah there were three more assholes of course you heard what
i didn't hear your words yeah starbucks how much was that starbucks i don't know nine dollars
all together like after delivery delivery and everything you know if i'd spent six more dollars
the delivery would have been free but that's's excessive. That would be $15 for two cups of coffee.
And I already have a 96-ounce traveler bucket that I ordered from yesterday morning in the fridge.
But I wanted a hot coffee, and I wanted it now.
Do you tip?
Does the $9 include the tip?
I don't know how tipping works with Postmates.
I didn't really dress.
I tip after the fact.
And I'll say, I just saw Hannah at the door.
I tip after the fact.
I'll say I just saw Hannah at the door.
She was wearing camouflage sweatpants and a really ugly top.
Her hair wasn't done very well.
She just said, thank you.
I was clearly dressed up nicely.
I've got a button-up on.
Was she ugly or old?
She was young.
I wouldn't say she was a beauty or anything. Was she a large gal?
Well, Buffalo Bill would have been licking his chops if he'd seen her in a parking
lot i'll put it that way he could have it vomits her lunch in the bucket or else it gets the hose
again trying to make a girl lose weight in the pit that was his real thing he's a size 12 something
like that you know she'd she'd make a good skin suit but i'm fucking bad at knowing women's sizes
and things but 12 sounds big 12 is not small
12 is not small um you're looking for a six is just fine a four is a little better a two you're
pretty goddamn skinny and a zero is just you know that's an eating kind of sickly almost always yeah
yeah what is six like zeros can be hot i would argue that like the victoria's secret models often are zeros but they're also
like six foot four gangly as fuck and they only look good with like that like fluffed
garbage bag on their head and like the big shoulder pads as they're parading down that
ridiculous thing who goes to those things like what kind of smarmy goes to a fashion show
where you can't even wear the clothes they're seeing where it's like, oh, actually, she's covered in semen.
Not because I'm definitely not masturbating in my pants right now.
It's just a take on women's objectification and pornography.
It's a literal like high-end strip club, like strip show.
They're like walking down the runway and just like titties are out.
Like I don't mean like a lot of cleavage.
I mean their titties are out. Just completely topical. I a lot of cleavage. I mean their titties are out.
Just completely top.
I don't know this for a fact.
I don't know this for a fact,
but I imagine this is their best day, right?
Like UFC fighters,
they do weight cuts for the weigh-ins.
I imagine they do that for the Victoria's Secret thing,
that they don't live continually at that level of hotness,
that they spike their hotness for a big show like that.
I think anorexia is a way of life.
Yeah.
Like, a lot of those women are clearly anorexic.
I prefer bulimics, okay?
Really? I'm an anorexic guy. Tell me why. It could hurt me.
Well, vomit's sexy. We all know I'm into that.
And I like that rotted tooth look that
you get after a while of bulimia where i'm not sure if you're the hottest method on the planet
or you're just victoria secret uh fashion there was a reddit chick who posted her like this is
me 18 months ago as a meth addict and this is me now and i've never been happier in my life
and i'm like yeah i don't
know i think you were hotter 18 months ago though i saw that it looked did you comment that that'd
be pretty no i'm not a horrible person i just only am on the show all the count taylor use a
burner account yeah kyle did you also agree she was a little hotter i i could tell that she was
using a lot of makeup before that that
wasn't required after because it was she probably had like really bad dark circles and like fatigue
like those scratch marks they get those meth heads yeah that's excessive but like everybody
thinks oh you do meth once you become you become a monster you can do meth three days a week and
be fine no you know what meth is one corner that I will stand with Nancy Reagan.
We really do need to crack down.
Meth and opioid abuse.
But I mean,
but I mean, cocaine.
Every movie I've seen people using cocaine,
all those people were super, super cool.
Oh God.
What did Steve-O do?
Steve-O did a recent interview and he's discussing his drug addictions in the past.
And he was like,
yeah, I was really into cocaine and I had this dealer and he just had everything and i
call him he didn't answer his phone so i just went over and he was passed out and i'm shaking him
and shaking he's alive you know he won't wake up so i go to the living room and there's been so
much cocaine done on the table dude that there's just a residue of
cocaine now what you got to keep in mind is he was hiv positive and he injected cocaine and
something about injecting cocaine you spray blood everywhere once you do it so the whole room is
covered in hiv positive blood and as i'm scraping up his leftover coke i
noticed that it too is covered in hiv positive blood so i you know i snorted it all oh my god
as you do hey this is this is steve-o and this is rolling the dice wait could you get hiv from snorting blood yeah yeah absolutely you could well i would imagine
that the hiv dies like i think i'm just guessing but i think if you have dried blood at some point
it stops being hiv positive absolutely does when it when it meets open air however woody
if i paid you five hundred thousand,000, forget the cocaine part,
would you snort HIV-tainted powdered sugar?
Yeah, yeah.
The answer is no.
I don't know if I would.
No, I wouldn't do it.
Jackie's over there like.
Yeah, she would say no.
She's not the risk taker that I am.
My risk tolerance is a little higher than average.
She's taking the risk too
she's getting the 500 grand if it doesn't work out you know if you're an intravenous drug user
and you have hiv seems like a good excuse to not have to share
right but then now because clearly the addiction is stronger than the fear of hiv
so i don't know i feel like if you could tell other people you're HIV
positive, all the lightweight
meth heads, all the
rookies stop asking for your
stuff. The weekend abusers.
Oh no, I'm a weekend user of meth.
There's got to be
a dude out there who's like,
lots of people like to smoke pot, lots of people like to drink.
I see no problem with my meth use
as long as I keep it to Friday and Saturday night.
Me and my friends like to go paint scary things on walls and yell at gas station attendants behind bulletproof glass in the city.
Who are you to judge?
I'm a meth head, but I'm still performing at work.
So, you know, really, what's the issue?
Maybe even better than you would normally.
Maybe.
Well, it depends on the job.
I always mix up meth in the other one.
What's the one that makes you happy and see the beauty in every raindrop well all of them are the reason they do them is
because it makes them happy so heroin is is is essentially going to tranquilize you and you're
going to be in a in a euphoric state of of i mean it's it's in the same family as um as um
what's the opioid what's the super painkiller morphine it's the same family as what's the super painkiller?
Morphine.
It's the same family as all of that stuff.
You're essentially shooting morphine.
So you're happy, but you're also tranquilized.
Meth is the one that is in the same family as Adderall.
So it's gearing you up.
It's what the Nazis were using during the Blitzkrieg.
They were using amphetamines to keep that war machine rolling with
little sleep and little food. How different are they?
Actually, the way you laid that out for me was actually super helpful because I feel like I understand
morphine and Adderall more than the others.
How different is meth from Adderall?
Are they pretty similar?
There's just more.
I've spoken to people who have done both and they say they're very similar that
they would.
And I've talked to people that they would compare cocaine and Adderall and
say like,
I've heard that.
Yeah.
And I've heard people say Adderall is better than cocaine,
that it does the same thing and it does it more.
Yeah.
I've heard those things.
I haven't done any of those illegal drugs, then cocaine that it like does the same thing and it does it more yeah i've heard those things um i
haven't done any of those illegal drugs um but i've obviously done adderall um plenty because
i've had a prescription prescription for it many times in the past i could get another if i if i
wished to have one uh it's great i love adderall big fan of it it's a performance enhancing drug
for your daily life my understanding is adderall like it's not one of those drugs like um
taylor always knows the names of them like a prozac right like a prozac if you take it today
you don't notice anything you have to be on it for like six eight weeks oh before it kicks in
adderall's immediately i had one adderall ever in my life someone in my my universe gave me an Adderall. And I didn't even notice it.
Do you know what kind of it was? No.
Instant release Adderall. And you needed more Adderall, clearly. That's all that happened
there. Well, my dose was too low. Yeah, I didn't. It was the same as any other day.
The dose was too low.
Yeah, I didn't.
It was the same as any other day.
Yeah.
Well, I have always noticed a massive difference when I take Adderall in like tons of facets.
But yeah, Steve-O was snorting HIV positive cocaine. And then he described drinking things like aluminum cleaner and having terrible experiences on that.
Does that get you high? Or is he just experimenting with anything? that does that get you high it gets you just
experimenting with anything yeah apparently gets you high um no i'm serious like you know the
there's like a maybe it's a documentary or just like a youtube documentary i don't know but it's
when steve-o was like totally crashing and burning and struggling with his addiction badly
and it was like johnny knoxville who really worked hard to get him out of it and it was someone maybe like Johnny
walking around Steve-O's apartment at the time
or one of the places he was staying and it was
like you know
whippets like those cans that you inhale
the nitrous oxide or whatever
yeah and his
apartment's just littered
just like can't walk
around on the floor hardly there's so many of those
there's like a bunch of glass pipes and everything it's just like can't walk around on the floor harley there's so many of those there's like a bunch of glass pipes and everything it's just like like a grab bag of every drug and he's like not even with
it and so it's kind of nice that like would you if you go back 10 years or when did he get sober
10 years ago like i don't know let's say 15 years ago jackass 2 i think he was still getting
fucked up with jackass 2 would anybody have guessed oh yeah uh 13 years from now steve-o is going to be
sober living a healthy life still in shape and ryan dunn's gonna be dead yeah that like like if
you could have guessed anything you could have been like in 15 years steve-o will be dead yeah
i'm saying if they had a poll everyone would have picked Steve-o number one everyone to be dead. Yeah as the dead guy as the dead guy
Yeah, or Johnny because Johnny always pushed pushed the envelope in a scary kind of way
Yeah, Johnny more likely to die from
One of his tricks. Yeah, like a stunt or something that the the nitrous oxide was one of his favorite drugs
He was the guy was like, what are your favorite drugs? I expected
him to name two. He's like, I really
love cocaine.
Not a big
meth guy, but I never turn it down.
I'm just like,
wait, you've never turned it down? Your Stevo's
getting good.
If I ever
wanted to fit in with drug users
in high school,
I would tell them I had done nitrous oxide,
the Whippets, because you get it at the dentist,
and I knew exactly what was up.
I could describe it.
I could talk about how long it lasts,
how quickly it wore off, what the high was like.
An hour after I tried it, I woke up.
The tooth was gone, and everything was fine.
The downside of Whippets is you wake up with a filling
yeah did you ever do like a funny drug seeking behavior and like young people it's like
purposefully having shitty oral health so they can go get nitrous oxide that's funny yeah kyle
i did actually do it one time at a steve miller There was a guy with like an, it looked like an oxyacetylene tank, like chin high, whatever
that would be, a really big one.
And he sold it by the balloon that you could like, you know the balloons you punch with
a rubber band?
A buck a balloon, yeah.
And what did you call it?
Like a buck a balloon, like a dollar a balloon, something like that.
I think it might have been a little more than that.
But yeah, so me and my friends all split a a pretty large balloon and um if people have never done
whippets it's a really good time for a really short time it lasts like i don't know 15 seconds
like it's not a long high i don't like it i walked in on two of my friends in high school
we were throwing a party at my parents house and we were all it was kind of understood like you
know if you're getting fucked up just sleep somewhere in the basement like don't drive
uh and it was like it was all over like two in the morning like i wake up from that like
drank a bunch of like my mouth is so dry and like i stand up and walk to the kitchen and like i see i can't
even rehydrate by closing i walk like i walk towards the kitchen and like i see two of my
my friends they were they were more uh well not like kind of tangential friends not like direct
more a friend of a friend and And they were standing like right near
the fridge to where like they're both angled in and I can only
see the light coming like from behind
them as I'm coming behind. And I hear like a
tsss
tsss
tsss. And I'm like, what's going on?
What are you guys doing? It's like two in the morning.
And like they turned around and like put something
back in the fridge real quick. And like I
walked over there just to look and like tried the turned around and, like, put something back in the fridge real quick. And, like, I walked over there just to look and, like, tried the whipped cream.
And it was just.
It was a full thing of whipped cream now with no air in it because these guys had decided to get high off of it.
And it seemed like the biggest waste of a high ever.
It's like you're going to waste a whole can of whipped cream to feel weird for 13 seconds.
Dude, it's not their whipped cream.
It's not even your whipped cream, asshole.
Whipped cream is the only aerosol that hasn't been tainted yet by manufacturers preventing you from getting high off of it.
I think people used to use those cans of compressed air you use to clean your keyboards and stuff.
Yeah.
I would never do something as insane as that.
I would imagine there's terrible, terrible chemicals in there.
Forget a cigarette having some tar in it. There's got to be some awful shit in there but
i like to use them to clean my keyboard and stuff and to be honest they're fun if you turn them
upside turn the can upside down and use like a freeze ray against things i've been in bed and
like i don't know i was watching tv and i noticed my laptop had gotten to about 200 fucking degrees
on the corner of it because it wasn't able to ventilate.
And it was literally slowing down the GPU in my laptop to the point where like videos wouldn't play.
And I was like, I'm going to supercharge this bitch.
So I take the can of compressed air, turn it upside down, and I freeze the whole innards of the laptop, the exterior, and get it down to the point where it's chilled now.
YouTube video starts
streaming just fine what i didn't realize is that particulates had rained over everything in my
vicinity including all my beverage my hands and then i ate and it's in my mouth and it's like if
you've ever gotten deodorant on your tongue and it's just that awful bitter taste that stays with
you yeah get it out i'm brushing my tongue with a toothbrush like like
rinsing with with with mouthwash it won't go away it was awful in my i've done that before too and
like my dad's study when i was little where i figured out like i don't know anything about
harmful chemicals i just know whoa do you know if you turn this upside down you could be like
mr freeze and i like remember he wasn't home because he would have never let me play with it
like went into his office area and like shook it it up and held it upside down and went like,
pretending.
I sprayed so much.
And I remember after five seconds of that, I was just like,
just coughing a lung up because it's just a cloud of frozen cancer, effectively.
You know the group of potheads in high school?
You see it.
They're all friends together. Yeah yeah the cool kids maybe but in my high school like there are kids you didn't think would
go in anywhere that that group some of them had like rotten teeth they worked at the grocery store
just so they had like a non-stop supply of the ready whip or whatever it is that they just do
whippets and they do like a case hiding in the back room and
then put them out there all with no aerosol if you abuse whippets do you get any sort of like
do you lose brain cells you do yeah i think that's that's exactly the downside of them yeah
i knew kids we'd be in like shop class and metal and metals actually which is welding class and
machine welding machine shop and we had a gasoline generator in the tool room you know there's tons of stuff in the tool room gloves and hammers and picks and
welding supplies and materials and safety gear but there's also a small electric uh small gasoline
generator and i walk in there to get some welding gloves and a slag hammer i'm going to do some
welding work and i look and there thomas is huffing the gasoline straight from the generator.
What is he, an aboriginal?
Yeah, right?
And a couple other guys are watching him,
and he comes up from it, and his eyes look dead.
And he's just like, ah, yeah.
And then another guy, he's like, move out of the way, man.
Let me hit this.
And I'm just like, well, I'm going to be on my way.
Huffing gasoline?
Huffing gasoline.
Can you still do that in America? Do they make it not nice
to huff or anything? I guess you could, but we have so many fun drugs.
Gasoline has never been nice to huff, I don't think.
I don't know where I'm getting this. I thought we said on the show one time that they
put an additive to gasoline that make it worse to huff.
They do that to isopropyl alcohol, like rubbing alcohol.
I believe they add something to that.
I know they certainly did during Prohibition, and a lot of people died from drinking it.
But I don't know about gasoline.
I know gasoline is different than it used to be.
It doesn't have benzene in it anymore, which is one of the extreme carcinogens that used to be in gasoline.
It's one of the reasons why making napalm with modern gasoline is a bit difficult unless you
order a little benzene off the internet.
But I can't
imagine that it's good to huff.
Or ever was.
Most of the drug's not good.
Except marijuana, which is pretty much health
food, I'm told.
Marijuana, kale,
eggplant.
You know, of all the 19-year-olds I know that smoke pot,
none of them have glaucoma.
Clearly it's working as some sort of glaucoma prophylactic.
What was that Simpsons episode from like, God, what, 25 years ago now?
Where they start doing like a bear patrol or something.
He's like, see Lisa, the bear patrol keeps the bears away.
She's like, Dad, by that that logic this rock keeps tigers away because as long as this rock has been here
There's never been a tiger. He's like hmm. What do you want for your tiger repellent?
Logic it's a
Really the thing that makes the the best case for weed isn't even like the weed proponents.
It's all the other worst drugs where they should.
They can just be like, hey, but look at that guy.
And it's like a fair point.
My favorite case for weed, like legalization of weed.
you're talking about specifically is like the damage that weed does to life compared to the damage that prosecuting weed does to life and society is totally out of whack if we just
legalized weed a whole bunch of people would not be criminals anymore and yeah like i don't see
what we're getting out of incarcerating so many people and and like you come out of jail and
you're financially ruined that's a big problem
right because a lot of your money gets exhausted while you're away and then it's difficult to get
a regular job again and that um like what we're doing to people for stupid stuff is uh it's not
good for society yeah and like just um the thing i that i jumped to like that's a good point too
and the reason they'd lock them up is because the fucking private prison lobby is so
powered. I mean, I'm sure in the grand
scheme of things, they're not in the most powerful
circle of lobbies, but they're powerful enough to keep shit
illegal just because they want to keep a constant stream
of people fed into their system.
And it's like, this is beyond
immoral. To be like,
no, you need to lock that guy up. He was smoking a leaf
that is pretty much fine, and he was
doing it on his own, or he was selling a small amount on a street corner or something like, I don't know.
During the Obama administration, I'm sorry, he was making moves towards getting rid of private prisons.
And then they backed off that position.
And then Trump comes along and they're like, you know, this private prison thing really isn't good.
This should be a public service, not a for-profit enterprise because their motives aren't aligned with good for society.
And then he backed off. I'm like, what the fuck is happening behind the scenes
for the last 10 years in a row?
They must be way more powerful than we even know to be shutting that down.
They have the P-tapes. And Obama's P-tapes too to make this real.
They have Obama's and Trump's and trump's and bush's
and clinton's and hw bush it's all common law in the case of the democrats it would be some sort
of comet pizza tape but i'm gonna start myself you know i want to document some of this debauchery
that goes on behind the scenes of what i'd be peeing on people. I mean, I don't care what president it is.
We'd start calling you R. Kyle.
R. Kyle, that's good.
I think the biggest benefit to legalizing weed is suddenly this opioid problem
that nobody seems to take that seriously outside of communities where it's devastating.
Devastating communities.
Like, it would help those people tremendously.
Like, it still would help their pain. It would help those people tremendously.
It still would help their pain.
It would help manage that.
Sure, it's not as powerful as a lot of those pills,
but they're not going to get addicted to it.
I don't remember the facts, so I'll make them up,
but it's like a quarter of people who get prescribed.
No, I'm making it up.
Three quarters of people who get prescribed those get addicted.
Oh, get addicted. I've never been prescribed one.
Yeah.
But a ton of people get addicted.
I have.
I think I have.
I guess like, oh, fuck me.
What's that cough syrup that's outrageous that little Wayne likes to get fucked up on?
Oh, SysRip.
Codeine.
Codeine.
Yeah, I've been prescribed codeine.
I think that's in there too.
Yeah.
A friend of mine uh this
was this was like early college he like some song that was talking about scissor for codeine or
something uh like i think scissor is when you like mix codeine with like sprite or like that
watermelon arizona tea and like candies like you can do it with that yeah and so he just hadite and codeine and like we were all like just having a normal night, you know, over the summer or whatever, like drinking, hanging out.
And we were like, hey, you want a beer or something?
He's like, no, I got some lean for tonight.
I was like, all right, well, you know, the rest of us are just drinking beer and stuff, right?
Like you'll be the only one.
He's like, I'm going to use it, dude. Like I got it from my fucking brothers uh he didn't want it anymore or something
and so like probably three hours in you know we're all pretty drunk we're like i guess this
is like summer after my first year of college so i'm maybe like 20 and and we're all hanging
out drinking maybe three hours into it you know he starts drinking his
lean about an hour later after that you know for about an hour he was still with it he was like
doing fine he drank it way too quick and almost immediately like we're all still having a great
time and he has to like sit down clutching his head like i'm gonna he's like guys i i think i'm
dying oh no guys i i genuinely i need to go to the hospital i'm dying guys and i head like i'm gonna he's like guys i i think i'm dying oh no guys i i genuinely i
need to go to the hospital i'm dying guys and i'm like i told you we were all getting drunk none of
us are driving you get a taxi to the hospital if you want to go you're so sweet and we're not gonna
drive drunk and get in trouble for right i told him not to drink the codeine prison drink the way
the story goes it doesn't it's not you're not dripping with compassion in this. I told you, you idiot.
Yeah, but he also
was so into the
I'm going to be a cool rap guy that he even
put it in two styrofoam
cups stacked on top of each other.
That's the way you drink lean if you're a cool
rapist. You pour the lean
in there. Yeah, rapist. One who raps.
And he
drank that. And he drank that.
And he got...
He got so fucked up that he
literally called his way older
sister, who wanted nothing
to do with this, and at like
two in the morning made her drive
and then take him to the hospital
just for them to be like, you know, we could get you
in trouble for having this much of this in your system right now. He's like, just make sure I don't die. And then take him to the hospital just for them to be like, you know, we could get you in trouble for having this much of this in your system right now.
He's like, just make sure I don't die.
And then he didn't die and he never leaned again or whatever the word is for doing lean.
So there's a lesson for you kids.
Stick to meth.
Yeah.
At least be cool about it.
Or no, Coke.
Coke is for like, look at Wolf of Wall Street.
They were successful.
Yeah.
You make millions in the stock market if you do Coke. Coke is for like, look at Wolf of Wall Street. They were successful. Yeah, you make millions in the stock market if you do Coke.
I think Coke makes you lose weight too.
Sure.
Any of those like Adderall, cocaine, meth, crack,
it's all going to destroy your appetite.
We downloaded this program in Rust that allows you to do artwork without having to actually do it.
And here's what one side of the base looks like
so you've got me as Napoleon
Bonaparte with an AK
on the left you've got me a Scarface
and the cocaine has been replaced with sulfur
which is a
desirable item in the game and
then I don't have them all
which I did there's a whole collage of
Wings of Redemption on the other side of the base
where it's like all of his famous poses,
like the one where he's got four fingers in his mouth licking them clean.
That's on there.
Him in the sombrero.
There's a gangster grandma on one of the doors.
And then if you try to, like, invade the base,
the first thing you would see if you blew our gates off the hinges
is Blue Boy Woody going,
No one likes you.
You think people watch you because they like you?
You're like a NASCAR driver who hits the wall every week
and thinks that people are watching him for his driving skills.
The entire industry has cropped up on hating you.
You're giving a lot of credit to the people you're playing with
to infer all of that.
I still have this paint.
If you guys want to come play with us,
we're on the Cobra Kai
server. I think there's only room for
150 players and there's already probably 70 to 100
in there. If you want to come play with us,
come play with us. What is the team size on the
Cobra Kai server?
You're not going to get to play with us.
You can play on the same server as us.
We can be friends.
You can have 30 people on a team.
So I could fill the team up.
But it's one of those things where I don't know who I'm adding to the team
who might just de-spark. Oh, sure.
Sure, yeah.
I talked about the...
I probably haven't mentioned WoodyCraft yet.
But yeah, you get people infiltrating, pretending to be
your friend for a long time, robbing you blind.
And look, I don't look down upon that, but I'm not stupid enough to open myself up to it.
So I kind of have a tight-knit group of friends that I've been playing with for three, four years or something like that.
And those are the people who I play with.
But if you want to play alongside us in the same server and be enemies, that's fine.
Or associates, that's fine.
Or if you just want to bring me things, that's okay too.
How big is your team? 10 maybe 10 guys i look forward to seeing how this one plays out
because i'm inventing a lot of this in my head but i feel like if you're on a server that allows 30
man teams you're swimming with sharks you know they can only roam four at a time they can so
if they try to hurt us we can defend our base with 10 men 20 men 30 men but they
can only attack it with four so that gives defensive defenders a huge advantage it's much
more hard it's much more difficult to attack than it is to defend and if you're out roaming around
in the wilderness looking for fights then it's always a 4v4 um and if if they have five men
um i know the admin and i can quickly like hit him up on
discord and be like get over here real quick look at this there's five of them and he'll literally
fly like jesus christ over and be like you do not belong you know they get a warning and then they
get a ban we we ran into some cheaters the other night and and uh and i was like look i want to
keep playing here this was all on stream too i was like he was, I want to keep playing here. This was all on stream, too. I was like, he was in our Discord, like, and all this happened live on stream.
I was like, we want to play on your server.
We like you.
We've purchased your items.
But we're not going to play with that guy.
So either he goes or we go.
He's cheating.
He's like, I don't think he's cheating.
Well, even if you don't think he's cheating, he's toxic.
So it's him or us.
And there's 10 of us.
There's one of him.
And it's like, XYZ has been banned.
And I was like, all right.
Good game. And then and then like i guess someone
told him who i was and he was kind of a quasi fan or i knew who i was and he's like you guys want to
go on a chinook ride and he like lands a massive helicopter that is not a player item at our base
like tour and then he lands a car also not a player item and gives me a car to drive around
he was he's a fun guy so it's it'sobra Kai, just like the Karate Kid bad guys.
That's the name of the server.
Feel free to join and play with us.
It's fun to be admin.
So you're doing a whole new base now
because this one with all your murals is destroyed, right?
Yeah.
My people are at work right now.
They've been working all day on the new base.
My people?
My people, my friends, my associates, my colleagues.
Yes.
Your comrades.
My comrades.
When I was admin, people used to pick on Colin.
He'd jump on the server and want to make friends,
but he was wearing good gear.
So if it was possible to kill him,
they'd often kill him and then strip his stuff.
And, you know, you do that for a while,
but then it gets to be like, man, they're targeting
him in a way they wouldn't target other people.
His head was valuable. They'd want to put it
on their walls and such.
That's funny.
Yeah. So sometimes
when he was...
When it was hurting his feelings, it's like
I got you, bro.
And I would give him superhuman powers
such that he would do okay in like a 50 V1.
And he would just slaughter people like Sauron.
Do I have the name right, Taylor?
Hell yeah, you do.
Yeah.
And that was always fun to do.
They'd all be whacking on him.
His health regenerated so quick.
He didn't need armor.
It was a blast.
I was...
Oh, this isn't video game related but i was at
night my hair cut today and i looked at my my back in the the mirror after my shower this morning
you know just seeing how bad my neck hair was because my hair my neck hair is so bad that it'll
grow into into my beard like just because it's just nothing but hair. You've got to do something with that. The back of your head connects to
the back of my head.
It's on ear island
is what it creates.
It'll just come straight around here.
Not as thick as my facial hair
but it comes all around.
Chin strap you can work out.
You've got to do that DNA test.
The ballistic helmets that go front and back.
You're part Neanderthal and i don't know i definitely am zero zero one percent i mean
you're like three percent neanderthal how fucking funny would that be if it was like wow
local missouri man found with 13 percent neanderthal dna the highest ever found you know
legally changed my name like a gluck legally human the homer simpson skull alone
seems like a clue right like anyway please carry on with your your back hair story no
oh yeah the back hair story like uh and i i was looking at it in the mirror and like over the
months in the years like i've like it's been slow enough that i haven't noticed the creeping on the
back and the creeping into the shoulders.
And I realized today, as the woman cutting my hair was doing that thing where they pull the back of your shirt down a bit to touch you up.
And she was pulling my shirt way down and still not getting enough.
And I was like, God, in my head, I'm like, I've left my golden ratio, golden zone of hair.
I'll never go back to that.
There's no way I'll grow more up here.
This is what I've got.
It's not receding anything, so I'm okay
with that.
Before, my chest was nice and full,
but not a bunch of stuff up here,
not anything on the shoulders.
Now I feel like every other day I take a look at my right
and I'm like, how did this get two inches
long already?
I'm like, I this get two inches long already and so i'm i'm like
i'm not looking forward to having to like really either maintain my body hair as i get older or
being that guy who's at like public pools or a vacation thing and they're like wow he must be
greek is there a permanent solution for it like a trial electrolysis is that there is but i'm not
gonna do that for my shoulders and the back.
Why not? It's not that expensive.
They take tweezers that are connected to an electrical supply.
They grab the hair. They electrify the root.
They pluck it out. It's gone forever.
I mean, if I do that, I'm going to wait
until the situation gets a little more dire.
What's forever, though?
Right?
It destroys the follicle,
so it will no longer allow the creation of hair.
But I,
so anyone who's lived with a woman knows that they just freaking shed,
right?
Like the hair comes out from the root and it's my impression.
And I just invented this on my own that like,
I don't know,
hair follicles transfers.
You get new ones,
you lose old ones.
Cause how else could women shed for decades and not,
not go bald.
It's absolutely forever.
Hairs will fall out, but the follicle's still good.
It's like cutting the top of the corn plant
off and the root's still under there
growing new corn, but if you were to grab
that corn plant and electrify it, now the root's gone.
The whole plant's dead.
It's never coming back again.
Like my belly hair. You know in Lord of the Rings
where it shows how Isengard is creeping into Fangorn Forest? It's never coming back again. Like my belly hair at this, you know, in Lord of the Rings where it shows how Isengard is creeping into,
into Fangorn forest.
It's the inverse of that.
Fangorn forest is creeping into otherwise hairless lands and it's just
slowly expanding,
you know,
across the torso.
And so at some point I'll have to,
you know,
get this done.
And your old hair,
many of these hairs were my friend.
I knew them.
Follicle.
My hair situation, I might argue, is improving.
Which is, I mean,
I wish my body fat situation was improving.
If I could have a choice, I would go that direction.
But as a teenager,
my hair pretty much just grew around the nipple.
Like sunflowers, perhaps.
That is
I think my least favorite
hair pattern.
As an adult, it's not thick,
but at least it's
chest hair.
What was once two lone islands
is now
sparsely populated chest hair,
which I think is better.
This area here, I'm also starting to shave this area because is now sparsely populated chest hair, which I think is better. Yeah.
This area here,
I'm also starting to shave this area
because I'm getting that...
The throat?
Yeah, because my chest hair grows up.
And so I don't want to look like an Italian porn star.
And so I started trimming that a little bit.
Can I put in a request for you to look like an Italian porn star
at least one show?
Can I do one?
Just one or two shows, if you could do that.
I'd like to get some snaps.
I'll snap you on our
private chat. Thanks, thanks.
I promise not to masturbate to it a lot.
I'm envious
of both of your hair situations in that way.
I feel like Woody's
in a happy medium
between us and i feel like kyle you're never going to have to worry about a too much hair situation no no i have a strip of hair down the center of my chest that doesn't even connect with like my
belly button hair necessarily my nipples a little hairy but i shave those i have no hair on my uh my
back i've got uh you know and and like even my thighs aren't that hairy.
I'm pretty hairless all the way around.
If I get my thighs wet and stand up out of a pool,
it looks like I'm wearing shorts.
I use a beard trimmer
on my chest hair sometimes. Sometimes I look at it and I'm like,
you know what? I don't like shaving it
because the post shave,
the stubble, I find is the least attractive
face. You can either stay on top of it
constantly or if you just hit it with the beard trimmer i feel like that just ratchets it
back you know to a spot that i like more and there's never a phase that i consider to be the
worst one to to go through there's one there's one i use now called like it's called the phillips
one blade i think it's like green you can find it on amazon it works fucking fantastic i like that
for not like clean shaving stuff i still use regular razors for that but like just trimming up
but uh one bright light bright light in the hair situation is my ass still totally hairless
oh and so that's keeping me going until like,
like the way I see it is like there,
you know,
the,
the axis powers are slowly marching down my back and they have to conquer all
of my back,
which is the demilitarized zone of the war is lost.
Yeah.
Well,
I mean,
in the last year,
it really has become a blitz Creek just an assault.
So hopefully that is somewhere I would never want a bunch of hair.
Ass hair is not attractive.
It's rough.
I'm not above getting waxed or electrolyzed or whatever.
I'm all about it.
I'll do whatever it takes.
I just want to jump straight to electrolysis.
It doesn't jump at me.
I've been lucky with the gray hair, right?
I'll be 46 in a couple of weeks, and there's gray hair in there, but there's not a ton.
And there's a stage you can do.
I haven't done it yet, but some guys, well, I guess most guys my age, will buy a shampoo
that just kind of takes the edge off the gray.
It's not a hair dye, but it's like shampoo you use that
adds a little touch of gray or something like the shampoo version of that yeah yeah whatever that is
but i don't even i don't even do that i just use head and shoulders i think i'm gonna beat you to
gray because i'm noticing a lot more gray like i don't i don't care about gray hair at all as long
as i have hair but that's really ramped up especially in the last like three years the
amount of gray hairs i have especially on the the side. My girlfriend likes it. She says it makes me look
distinguished, but I think she's trying to make me feel better. Now, my beard is gray as fuck.
I can go from where I am today to homeless in about five days. So there. Your beard is awesome,
and it's a crime that Jackie won't let you grow it out. The gray is what makes it look good. Have you seen Mel Gibson's beard?
Mel Gibson has the best
beard on the planet, bar none.
And there's a lot of gray in it.
And it makes him look distinguished.
He looks like
a 17th century explorer.
Yeah, Mel's also cool as
fuck. He's like jacked now.
He's like Milo Gipsano, the
famous explorer.
Milo Gipsano. famous explorer milo gipsano i am he has a lot of gray hair i would he's also pretty wrinkly i i think my gray hair ages me a ton that that it
tacks on five or six years it is it's the right concern i felt like i had a really good grade
counterbalance it with the air apostles you know t-shirts and stuff is that what i wear you dress like a 19 year old
people see the beard and then the shirt and they're like
murder a child and i did it it's not wearing it's like can't be true he's wearing oshkosh
bigosh shoes i did a paramotor video like a year ago and i had a hoodie
on in shorts and they're like what do you i dress like that in seventh grade and i was like yeah
this i i don't know something about it sunk in i'm like this is totally a seventh grader's outfit
a hoodie yeah you got the i mean your your shoes do light up and blink you're wearing
jack you just look out while you're doing stuff in your yard at night it's like where's
what there he is there's this nike she hears you come in from like and here's your you take the
shoes off by your like rip rip your velcro those are cool as fuck in third grade everybody had to
have those la lights or you were a bitch. Your parents didn't love you. You probably eat Pop-Tarts at home, don't you?
Ah!
It was the same thing with Heelys when those came out.
Heelys, maybe there's too much age difference.
Too much age?
I've got Heelys.
They're size 11.
They're downstairs.
Yeah.
Never mind.
Too much age.
No, no, no, no, no.
You can't stay young forever, but you can always be immature.
Those are the rules.
So I rock Heelys.
And it was just a way to play with my kids.
Yeah, everybody thought they were cool.
They are cool.
I saw an adult man on the cell phone Heelying through an airport,
like on a trip, like I guess last year, the year before at some point.
And my thought, like if I was like 19 or something,
I would have been like, man, loser.
Dude, I don't know how dumb he looks.
But like more as an adult, I'm like, God, kudos.
Like you're making this into a fun thing.
I would love to do that on the walk accelerator thing,
see how quick you can get going on your Heelys.
Casey Neistat brings a skateboard.
Do you guys know what a penny board is?
No.
It's a small skateboard.
I'm sure he has a good one, but it's a little thing.
And he just skates around the airport.
And you look at it and you're like,
oh my God, that is so much better.
That is incredible.
Casey Neistat looks like a boardwalk caricature
of an already ugly man.
I hate to make fun of him.
I really respect that guy.
If you put him on a World War II propaganda poster,
would it jump out at you?
That's what they look like?
Let's get those Germans.
They're barely human.
No, see, you can't put this on here.
It has to be believable, yeah?
They are still human, but they do not look like this.
That guy.
Did you see that picture? Like, wait, we looked at that picture where somebody photoshopped like a penis and balls onto his face.
He's got his fucking head.
You know that really legitimate argument that women are wrong for being biased against men for their height because you can't do anything about it. But men are perfectly in the right for being biased against women about their weight because that is the thing that is controllable.
That's how I feel when we make fun of the way Casey Neistat works.
If you're worth $10 or $20 million, how about getting that honker fixed, big boy?
There you go.
But that's also – that's like his calling card.
People know his look.
It's like he's big enough that for his audience it's iconic i bet they would not respond well to him changing himself
right and he probably doesn't want to he's successful as fuck you can do whatever the
fuck he wants it's not gonna stop him making five as successful as he is looking i wouldn't
make fun of his look i bet roast sessions like this still stink. Oh, he's not going to see this.
He's going to go cry into a pile of money and then fly a drone.
It doesn't fix it.
I bet it stings.
And not this one necessarily, but what if there's, like for all I know,
each one of his videos has this comment 150 times about the way he looks.
Every time he goes on Reddit, it's just a roast session in the comments.
They're all ripping him.
And not for anything he can control, just his look. Oh, he can control
it. We've been through this.
Do you know those masks the Antifa people
wear? There you go.
There you go.
They look cool. Have you ever seen a movie where someone
had... What was that
old time leprosy?
When someone had leprosy
and they would wear one of those masks
to cover the hideousness of their face. Get a leprosy mask they would wear one of those masks to cover the hideousness of their
face. Get a leprosy mask. No big deal. Or a plague doctor mask. Those are cool.
Those are great. Those are really cool. It'll make his nose a little slimmer.
You know, since he added that plague doctor beak mask, he's looking pretty handsome.
He's got that plague doctor beak mask.
He's looking pretty handsome.
Can you imagine how much it would suck to live in a time where they're like,
all right, we don't know what's going on with you.
We've called the doctor, and some guy comes in in a robe and just a chest of dirty knives and a big mask on.
He's like, all right, let's cut you open and see.
And, oh, that would suck.
Get that bad blood out of you boy you you're
all chock full of it i can tell all right jesus christ pretty much any time medically before like
what 1940 would have sucked dick shit dude anytime before yesterday sucks every day is better that's
what i always say when people
oh crime so bad look at the fucking crime statistics you dumbass it's about the news
media reporting crime at a different rate nowadays oh oh it's such a violent world no
no it's not it was a violent world in the 50s and the 40s when when tens of millions of men were
going across the sea and getting blown the fuck apart no it's much less violent than it is oh
there's so much sickness and disease.
No, we're the healthiest
we've ever been as a species.
The flu, we used to wipe out
tens of millions of people.
Get out of here with that. It's the best day to live
ever. You look at immigration stats
across the southern border, they look like gun
crime stats almost. You think it's terrible,
but it's actually been dropping for 20 years.
Yeah, Trump is doing a great job. Thank you for pointing that out with it yes he's he's curved it
yeah it's hard to measure real quick on that it's actually going up slightly under him but
that doesn't mean he's doing a bad job it might just mean that he's it's how many people they
catch so maybe he's catching a bigger percentage and it's still dropping i don't know but uh
but yeah go trump he's glorious
so there's a hitler salute for go yeah all right my bad my rotator cuff is in advance i'm just like
fix yep that fixed it all right another thing the nazis stole because that's the roman salute
that's what the Romans did
And now just like the Nazis stole the Hindu sign
And the Hindus don't get to be like
Hey we made that about the Stastica
What is it with the Germans and their lack of originality
They're just stealing
From the god damn Romans
And the Hindus
What else did they steal
I don't know but that's really what I think of
Is their principal crimes
Hugo Boss made their uniforms right was he german or is he like he's german okay so they didn't
steal that that must have been like an uncomfortable board meeting at hugo boss in like 1946 where
they're like all right bad bet back to drunk horse oh my god
right
but you know what
they looked good doing it
they did have great costumes
or uniforms
they're so fucking good
they're so fucking good
every day I think every time this comes up I regret
not buying
every day i regret not
that ss officer's cap that i saw at that that that machine gun shoot that time it was 550 650
bucks which is an exorbitant sum for a fucking hat but goddamn it's a piece of history right
although oh it was a real one like you want someone to like discover it in my home i would only want to
present it to someone with a backstory up front like all right so a few years ago i was a gun
store gun show and i saw a hat and i bought it but just so you know like i just bought it because
it's a piece of history right i mean i've got a german luger too you know yes sir but why are
you wearing it at the airport my shirt, it has my shirt and my boots.
And come on.
You've got nothing to worry about.
It's not as if people come through your home and search it every so often.
Yeah.
I don't think of how much worse that would have been if you put in a new story.
You know, as you...
Oh, man.
You know what?
Like, if you want to be a world war ii memorabilia collector like
and you see something like that where you're like oh this would look so good in my world war ii room
oh i need it you'd have to also be like okay i allot 500 for the nazi hat but i also have to buy
an italian hat and an english hat and an american hat so i have plausible deniability about all the
hats i have.
Yeah.
And so you'd have to invest in all that.
And then it would look normal.
Like if I walked into somebody's history room
and it has a bunch of Nazi stuff, a bunch of Italian stuff,
a bunch of British stuff, a bunch of American stuff, Japanese, whatever,
it's like, oh, wow, this guy's a history buff.
If you walk in and it's all Nazi stuff,
you're not like, man, this guy knows his history.
You're like, I think he knows his history you're like yeah i i think i
think this guy hates you what makes you you know what historical items would you like the most
like it would be way older than like world war ii like some kind of cool sword from like
rome yeah somewhere from rome or ancient greece would be the coolest uh the short sword that the
roman soldiers would care carry the gladius. Those are fucking cool.
Like those English long swords,
like the legit really old ones. Japanese katanas
from like, I don't know,
the 15th century or whatever. What makes you value them?
Huh? What makes you value them?
Like why are you... Craftsmanship.
In the case of the katana, the craftsmanship, like
the 5,000 steel
folds or whatever, the crazy shit.
With the Romans, it's like at the point of the
sword a quarter of the globe was conquered you know this was the mainstay of one of the most
powerful organized uh armies in antiquity you know when they felt the dark ages came like that
that's pretty cool uh maybe something from like the the greeks maybe like a spartan helmet or
like an actual spartan helmet or spartan helmet. Or an actual Spartan helmet or Spartan shield.
One of those bronze spearheads or something like that.
But an English longsword from the Dark Ages.
Those are fucking cool.
One of those big crazy long ones.
Honestly, I just think the older it is, the cooler it would be to me.
like the older it is,
the cooler it would be to me.
Like a 4,000 year old like clay pot with like some, you know,
shit or glyphs on it
would be cooler to me
than like anything from World War II.
Just because it'd be cool
to like look at something physical
and be like,
this is still here
and think of everything that transpired
between when someone was sitting there
making this
and when I became a person.
Like it's just crazy.
Because I like both your answers, the craftsmanship and the age. When someone was sitting there making this and when I became a person. Let me jump in on this topic.
Because I like both your answers, the craftsmanship and the age.
For me, it's about the emotions that happened on that object, right?
Like I wanted to be old enough, say pre-Vietnam, pre-Vietnam War.
But like if it's a World War II gun and I feel pretty confident that the guy was like scared laying in the mud using a trench as cover then that thing is really cool to me in the same way true if it was a
gladius but not more valuable i just if i knew for sure that this thing was used by like a terrified
or brave or just some heightened emotion dude yeah and this was the centerpiece of the emotion,
then that would mean a lot to me.
That's what does it for me.
Yeah, like buying one of the retired electric chairs
from a prison.
But like the hat, for example,
is not that big to me.
Because I don't think that,
I'm picturing it the flat,
almost like a policeman hat.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
That isn't worn in times of crisis this is fun
in times of glory that's behind i picture a couple guys looking over a mat making decisions
polish countryside clean up the field
yeah just the older it is the cooler it it would be, I think. Yeah.
I'm trying to think what else.
I had a German Luger, which is an officer's pistol, I believe.
Or I think they were also on the Luftwaffe aircraft.
But I just saw rust.
To me, it looked like rust on it.
But he was convinced that, like, that's blood right there.
That's what that was.
Blood got on it, and it rusted.
I think he executed somebody with his pistol blood got on it he didn't clean it and it and those are blood speckles that rusted and i was like that's pretty dark man can't we just imagine
that a little salt got on it or a sweat or something no he definitely killed a g i imagine
he was eating dinner sloppily and nobody has that fantasy you know like like like anything salty could have rusted the the
top of this luger you got here it has blood now tell me this if you had an original hitler
like charlie kelly had and it's always sunny yeah yeah you'd you'd have to put it up in your home
right but an original hitler like a like the man painting i'm like no not like i'm like
what are you doing here and he's like i don't know one moment i'm in a bunker shooting my
head the other i'm on your couch watching this strange device keep pressing on it
i'm like i don't know what i do if hitler was suddenly like one of my dependents
we need to work this out now very quickly i know i I know I'm in your home. You do have a large nose.
I have one question.
Hitler, get out!
That's funny.
But yeah, an original Hitler painting.
I wonder if you could even sell that.
Yes.
Or if people would be like, no, you can't auction this off.
Hitler painted it.
You could totally sell it.
I bet it's worth an enormous amount of money
if you had an actual original Hitler.
And if it weren't, it'd be one hell of a talking piece.
Wouldn't you just like the coffee table
from his bunker as your coffee table?
I don't know.
Those guys who raided
the Eagle's Nest, his home away from home
in the Bavarian Alps or whatever the fuck
up in the mountains,
I bet they came away with...
That shit's still sitting in some kid's
attic somewhere. Like, yeah, Grandpa had a bunch
of stuff he brought back from the war. I don't know. It's upstairs.
I guarantee there's like
some gold bar with a Nazi
eagle on it or something.
I remember when we raided Saddam Hussein's palace.
Hussein's palaces.
That was happening left and right.
They were in there just like,
let's take some of Saddam's shit. Nobody's looking. They were just
stealing shit and sending it home.
Original Hitlers are worth less
than I thought.
Oh, they exist? I didn't even know there were.
Yeah.
Let's see.
15 of Hitler's paintings
for a total of 143,000.
That was 2009.
All right, guys, get that Patreon level.
A single one sold for 32,000 euros,
which I'm going to say is like less than 50 grand.
Yeah.
That's a lot of money, but you're right.
This is surprising.
I thought it'd be worth a ton.
I thought it would be numbers that normal people could never touch.
But like 32,000 euros
is expensive for a painting but
cars are that much.
Yeah. Good point.
Yeah and it's a Hitler.
It's weird
to say it's a Hitler. It's a Hitler!
I love
them. They make a great gag
in a comedy movie.
Hitler!
What do you think of this painting?
Well, I can really tell how much the artist was struggling.
Something in his life wasn't right,
and he was going to do everything in his power to fix it.
He's like, well, this is an original Hitler.
In that case, take back everything I said.
I got a few clips here.
Have we done any ads?
I was about to say, let me slip in an ad.
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Look, I've talked in the past about how I take Cialis and just how expensive it is.
I've talked about several hundred dollars for a bottle of like 12 pills.
This is quite a bit cheaper.
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I'm not.
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The fact that it's chewable is much better.
You have two different
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You don't want the sildenafil in my personal opinion.
It's not what I recommend.
It starts with a T and it still ends with
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I'm just making shit up at this point.
I'm going to get the exact thing.
Tadalafil.
So my recommendation is to get the Tadalafil.
I personally have never cared for sildenafil.
It gives me a light sensitivity that i don't care for and sometimes
it can give me a headache um but the tadalafil which is the cialis uh generic is definitely
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in my case uh but some people swear the exact opposite so i would say you know do what feels
right what feels right for you but kyle
you definitely have the most experience with these these uh blue chew uh pills and i yeah go ahead i
had never taken a dick pill in my life and last night i was coming home and me and my girlfriend
were i knew she was coming over to make dinner and we were going to hang out and i was like you
know what i'm taking a dick pill and i'm going to hang out. And I was like, you know what?
I'm taking a dick pill and I'm going to see how this goes because I've never had a problem getting a boner because I'm a young guy.
And so I'm like,
man,
this is going to push me.
This is going to make me like,
like Thanos was when he got all the special gems or whatever,
you know,
snap my fingers and that pussy's destroyed is what you can do with that.
Right.
Your upgrade. Yeah. Taylor, the white. And so I took one and like, snap my fingers and that pussy's destroyed is what you can do with that right you're up yeah
and i'm yeah taylor the white and so i took one and like maybe an hour hour or two later we we
start fooling around and it it was it blew my mind how quickly after initiating any sort of like
fucking not even just fucking just any kind of foreplay you're you're hard it's not your dick does not you know how usually when your dick gets hard you can like
watch it and like it's growing out and everything it's like a ema patient trying to make a make a
blow up a balloon exactly it's it's going out and it grows and then it flops up and then it you know
you know then it sticks up and whatever, it's like fast forward times 10.
It's just you are erect instantly
and you have the hardest fucking boner
you've ever had in your life.
I was like sitting there like,
Kyle, you've known about this for how long
and you didn't tell me to get on dick pills?
You should have been, no, you know what?
You told me a couple of times
you should have been much more emphatic. more much more much harder and and you should have pounded that message
in kyle i i well we fucked it was fantastic and i finish and usually you know you start to go down
a little bit after after you come now with blue chew you don't with blue chew if you know, you start to go down a little bit after you come.
Not with Blue Chew, you don't.
With Blue Chew, if you want to, you don't even have to, like, do the refractory period of, like, go down and come back up.
You can just, I just stayed hard.
It wasn't like, all right, I went from 110% with my Blue Chew down to, like, a normal boner after the first come.
No.
Standing loud and proud, brother. He was as hard as he'd ever been. I couldn't be happier with Blue Chew down to like a normal boner after the first comment. No. Standing loud and proud, brother.
He was as hard as he'd ever been.
I couldn't be happier with Blue Chew.
Chiz, if you let these guys get away, I swear to God.
I need some more of those promo packs.
All right?
I need some more promo packs.
You got to do more of those promo packs.
It was super good. My dick was so...
You know, I've heard, and this is just a rumor mill,
this is what Bill Clinton used
so he was able to fuck that horrible woman.
That's right.
That's right.
That's absolutely...
His wife, you're referring to, Hillary Clinton.
Yes, definitely not the innocent interns.
Yes, they should have...
They had Bob Dole back in the day advertising,
but they should have gotten...
Now, you know what?
Before I had Blue Chew, I was putting rubber bands around the base of my dick, hoping to
get it hard enough to shove it in that stanky hole that she has, and my goodness.
I'll take one Blue Chew, and I tell you what, I'm going all night.
I still have to put a hairpin, clothespin on my nose, but it helps a lot.
And so I couldn't recommend it higher.
Seriously.
Like, I had no idea that our deal was going to be that it's free.
You just pay $5 shipping.
You're getting a huge deal here.
Like, this isn't me. Oh, yeah.
Salesman Kyle.
This is me being like, this is what I'm going to go and tell my friends now.
Like, everyone I know, like, when I get off tonight and I'm playing some video games,
I'm going to be like, guys, use this code real quick.
It's free. Do it. Absolutely do it absolutely do it go there sign up pay the five dollars shipping and try it
and if you don't like it i mean i'm not gonna give anything back i'm not giving you five dollars or
anything that's lost to the world but but but you're not gonna say that you're not gonna say
that because it's incredible i've been taking it blown away and you know what to prove it to
yourself take a before picture of your dick hard, take a blue chew, take an after picture
of your dick hard, and then post it on the
subreddit.
Don't do that.
That would get rid of the subreddit.
Yeah, so
blue chew, just
mail those directly to
at what he's gamertag. You can find his address
on the internet. It's everywhere.
Just mail them directly to him, before and after Polaro. You can find his address on the internet. It's everywhere. Just mail them directly to him before and after Polaroids
and we'll all take a gander.
Tweet it to Taylor. And like even after
fucking twice, even after
fucking and finishing twice, we're watching Game of
Thrones just sitting there
like
horniness is the last thing on my mind.
I've just completed twice in a day
and like she just puts her hand
down my pants.
Immediately, it's back into action
again, where it's like this...
I feel like a superhuman.
Super dick man. And if you guys
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Wait, wait, wait.
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What the hell was Heather's old email address
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Was it?
Oh, that's fucking funny.
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Yeah, I can't say how happy I am with this sponsor.
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They're a slightly higher dosage,
but still, when you do the math, it's
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pill. If you're like me,
this is the highest dosage you will need.
You took one pill, by the way.
I took one pill.
You listened to me before, Taylor.
Remember?
Remember when you didn't listen to me before and now you're regretting it?
That's true.
You were right about salt.
I know you said 110%, but it goes to 120.
It goes to 120.
100%.
Look, I'm not going to recommend anything unhealthy.
Look online and see what the dose is.
Take it as recommended, obviously.
Take it as recommended. I don't do that.
I take it as not recommended.
I avoid all warnings, and I take a lot.
And I am always shocked at the results.
It's pretty great.
Bloodletting is required at the end of the night.
I'll just say that.
I have a tank full of leeches in the other room that I have to apply just to be able to get to bed.
Oh, I could have.
And the leeches wouldn't even help because as soon as they suck some blood out, there's reinforcements coming in.
Plus, I'm turned on by leech play.
So it's a real mixed bag.
Yeah.
So there you go.
Blue Chew.
Well, that was a ringing endorsement.
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No, I'm saying Casper mattresses because you're going to want some nice,
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I dare you to look at my mattress and tell me where I sleep because it's perfectly fine.
It's the part with all the hair on it.
Well, okay.
It's the part with the hair.
Okay, if I vacuumed it briefly, there would be no way for you to know.
And we'll be all set. Yeahor mattresses are wonderful perfect place to to sleep and fuck um so i have a couple
of interesting uh uh news stories here here's a man who gave himself semen injections to treat
me more about that one i i have semen and i have things I'd like to improve upon. Will this work?
This was at a doctor's behest, right?
Talk about talk.
I somehow doubt it.
An Irish man wound
up with a serious skin infection
after injecting himself with his
own semen, according to a recent
report of his unusual case.
The 33-year-old told doctors that he'd been giving
himself monthly semen. You're going to jones in there with his fucking uh performance and drugs and i can't even
inject my own semen into my back to help injecting semen monthly to cure his long-standing back pain
the report says needless to say semen does not cure back pain. In this case, the man had initially sought medical care after
he'd injured himself
backlifting a heavy object three days
later. It wasn't until doctors gave the man a physical exam
and noticed that his right forearm
was red and swollen that the man
admitted to regularly injecting
himself with semen.
In the forearm?
In the forearm. The man had mostly had most to get rid of back pain yeah he most recently given
himself three doses of semen intravenously and intramuscularly he doesn't know anything about
semen injections this guy had no desire to get rid of his back pain this was some weird ass fetish
he wanted to do and because even if you're insane enough to think that semen is going to help your
back why would you inject it into your forearm muscle?
Do you know nothing about stem cells, Taylor?
You just inject it and it goes to the thing and makes you better.
That's how stem cells work.
I don't, but if you bring something up, I'll pretend to.
Yeah, this is ridiculous.
Chael Sonnen had it done.
There was even nothing wrong with him.
They just gave him like a bunch of stem cells as a general body improvement.
And he says that he's smarter and more active and just
better i've been injecting semen for 13 years ever since i deciphered that the zinc inside of it is
more potent than the zinc you get from supplements let me let me show you a load of mine here people
look how viscous and thick this you can even taste the the astringency of the zinc when you put a
little bit under your tongue there makes me energized makes me thick you know and so i can't you know what but you
don't want to use your own semen that's risky so you can buy my semen at infowars.com slash alex
jones come and uh and inject it in your arm that's all i have for this bit i guess it's
clearly good for you i I better get it twice.
Come into ladies for decades and they have never once complained of back pain.
Ironically, the one time I got in trouble,
it was a fucking cigar.
You believe that?
I didn't even come that day.
I came too hard on the other intern.
I told that bitch to get the hell out of here.
It was a fucking cigar,
but the verb, the adjective.
No one smoked them after he...
I think that's literally part of it, isn't it?
I think that's on the record.
That's awful.
That he smoked a pussy-soaked cigar?
Dude, I remember the day that shit came out.
They were going to put it on the internet,
and the internet was young,
back in 1996 or something.
No, but...
So everyone had whatever was before mozilla like
i don't know all fuck i forget what was before mozilla and um alta vista i was gonna say that
but i don't think that's what it was that was the search engine right oh yeah but anyway and you just
sat there hammering reload hammering reload on a text file. But the website was so busy, the government website, that everyone was just –
and then once it loaded, you kept it because it was like a treasure.
You wouldn't know if it could load again.
And CNN, they got it to load in their scroll and reading the salacious parts to all their viewers.
Shucks.
As engaging as the news is right now i can't think of a news story that
got as much attention as bill clinton fucking an intern i can remember sitting there eating
breakfast at like a hangout with with a bunch of adult men and then we're reading the newspaper
it was 1997 i want to say is that correct it's not right-ish. Yeah. Yeah. It was ridiculous.
Yeah.
The whole thing.
What a nutty time in our history.
How can you blame me for just wanting to get a little bit estranged when, do you know that that dumb bitch had her own agent follow me when I was jogging
and make sure I wouldn't go to Mickey D's and get more than the 10-piece,
that sneaky bitch?
One of the times, I tell you what, I went, I got a 20-piece nugget, you know,
and she didn't know.
I ate 10 of them on the way back, and then I brought it, set it on my desk.
I didn't realize on the front it said 20-piece.
She came in, saw it right away, gave me hell.
You know, the reason that my eyes are so sunken in and swollen is she has powers.
She's stolen bits of my soul.
She opens her legs up at you, and she sucks out all of your life force and your being.
She opened her legs up at me.
I tell you what, if it was a minute, it was 100 years.
That's the way I am today.
I've got no life force left.
I can't even get my dick hard with that blue chew.
It's just tough.
So yeah, kids, don't object yourself with semen.
It doesn't help with back pain, apparently.
Don't inject yourself with semen.
It doesn't help with back pain, apparently.
If you look at 1992 Hillary Clinton, she's not as bad as you might remember.
Yeah, that's her best photograph ever in her entire life, Woody.
This is a professional photograph.
First of all, when I click it, I guess maybe I need to click the whole link.
Did she attack people with an axe in Sydney?
I'm confused.
She's pretty rough looking in 92.
Like, get out of here.
And you can tell she smells.
There's a lot of flies swarming behind her.
I didn't even notice that at first.
Wow.
Yeah.
I can admit that, like, she's not, her peak is not as peaky as Trump's current wife, Ivana.
She was literally a model.
But I think people look at the grandma version of her today and see her as this stanky, disgusting whatever.
And I don't know.
She was a person.
It's just more fun to pretend that for jokes.
She's not deformed or anything.
She's a ghoul.
This next article, I find more attractive than Hillary Clinton
and she's not even a woman.
So what's the story here?
Give me the back.
Apparently in Sydney, there was an axe attack.
A woman has been jailed for wounding
7-Eleven customers. At first, Ied for wounding 7-Eleven customers.
At first, I thought it was seven 7-Eleven customers, but that doesn't make sense.
Evie Amati, 26, seriously wounded the man and woman at a 7-Eleven in Sydney in January. She
swung her axe at a third customer, but did not injure him. And when I say axe, believe me,
I do not mean hatchet. I mean, she went Paul Bunyan up in 7-11.
She's pleading not guilty on mental health grounds at a trial, but the court rejected her argument.
On Friday, the judge sentenced her to nine years in prison.
The risk of death was high in each case, and the fact that death did not occur was entirely a matter of good fortune, according to the judge.
The court heard that Ahmadi had been out of her mind after consuming drugs, alcohol, and prescription medication blah blah blah cry cry cry blah blah her first victim as uh she apparently she hit her first victim ben rimmer his name's rammer as he waited to buy a meat pie you can't
make that up ben rammer was buying a meat pie when a transsexual high on methamphetamine
hit him with an axe.
After a brief conversation,
she struck Mr. Rimmer in the face.
He was knocked to the ground.
Four-inch facial wound and fractured.
She then attacked her second victim,
Sharon Hacker.
Is this a real article?
I'm bummed that this six-foot-some transgender woman with an axe is in prison
because I was looking for someone to carry me in Vermintide,
and it looks like she's got the skills.
See, she wants her own axe wound so bad that she's just doling them out at the local 7-Eleven.
I see what you did there.
There you go.
Well, there you go, kids.
Do not attack 7-Eleven customers with an axe.
Nine years?
Nine years doesn't seem long enough
for attacking people with an axe in public
and almost killing them, right?
Axe attack.
Doesn't that seem like a short sentence?
Nine years for trying to kill people?
I don't think so.
I'm leaning towards shorter sentences now.
Maybe I'm becoming softy. For some leaning towards shorter sentences now. I'm on...
For some things, yeah, but for
axe attacks...
Okay, she was on drugs, right?
So you clean that up
and you fix the underlying cause.
And she did...
Did she kill anyone?
No, she just injured them.
Yeah, just a couple injuries.
Previously.
Skull fractures and huge gashes.
Skull fractures, you said?
That's a pretty good injury.
All right, yeah, yeah.
If you look at the second photograph, I'm sorry to interrupt you.
If you look at the second photograph, you can see she's got it cocked back like a baseball bat.
One of this guy looks over at her with a meat pie in his hand like, huh?
Yeah, and people who get hit in the face with a fucking axe dude like it's not like
all right i'm healed now it's like no your life is forever altered and kind of ruined like you're
probably gonna have a fuck ton of nerve damage you have to take a bunch of medication and like
like you're that woman with a fractured skull like she's not going to be the same again it's like
you think these aren't just injuries oh yeah skull fractures there's a spectrum that guy
remember that guy who
swung is that goalie who got we talked about this on like pkn or something there's like beer league
goalie you swung his goalie stick and hit a guy right in the face with the blade of it and the
guy only got a couple years and the guy who got hit was saying like i'm furious he only got like
two or three years in prison like my life is hell now i have horrible headaches all the time my face is
numb like i don't talk the same like i i don't want to go out in public anymore because of my
i'm not emoting the same way facially like it's it's like that guy's if that swinger is going to
be out then i'm then i'm with you i i i'm in college we were in the dorms and uh the door to
a dorm even though it was an interior door it was super thick steel heavy door this is the door to a dorm, even though it was an interior door, it was super thick steel heavy door.
This is the entry to your room.
And one guy,
he was opening the door in like a weird way.
Like he opened it two inches
and he was doing a funny voice
where he's like, hello.
And the guy entering it
kicked the door with his foot
to like make it open
like it was a grand entrance.
And they just weren't coordinated.
He didn't mean to effectively like curb stomp his head with a heavy door but that was the impact
anyway it fractured his skull what am i hearing a video from you kyle sorry yeah it's kind of funny
in the story context But anyway yeah
So he kicked the door into his head
His skull was fractured
We all saw the x-rays it was like a real thing
Like right here his skull was broken
But all he had to do
Was like well don't hit it there again
For a couple weeks and you'll be alright
I tried to fix the problem that just occurred
Tell me if you can hear it now
No
Great yeah it was just a button on my mixer.
Sorry about that. That's okay.
Was that a video, uh, was that an axe video,
or is that something, is there not a video of this axe thing?
No, apparently not. This is, this is
a completely different video. Um,
this is a man doing some real
daredevil hijink shit. I hope
he didn't get in too much trouble, because I think what he did here is
cool as fuck. Alright?
Uh, we can just queue up on this.
Man survives jumping off cruise ship deck.
The 11th floor balcony.
So hold on.
Let me... I have
daydreamed of this so many times.
Are we guys ready?
This seems foolish.
Alright, queue up at zero.
Ready, set, play.
You're about to watch shocking video.
Are you a little drunk?
First of all, fuck that cameraman.
He misses like the best part.
Yeah, the impact.
Yeah.
It's the same camera
slowing it down.
I love this
graphic
recreation.
Did you hear how many feet it was?
His neck.
We're getting kicked off the boat.
Pussies.
We'll sell Disney.
It's better. I'm trying to find the part where they said the feet
Isn't that one of those
I thought it was like 85 or something
It's 11 stories
That's 110 feet plus whatever the distance
From the water to the first
Floor would have been
Can we be quiet for just a second, I'm trying to play
They say more than 100 feet below.
They say more than 100 feet. That is a big jump.
That is a big jump.
I was going to say, I told this story
before, but I used to jump off bridges all the
time. We did 40 feet routinely
like it was nothing. We did 70
feet once.
So I was going to be like, dude, I did
sit like this all day. I would love it.
But I think the difference between 70 and 100 is pretty important.
You know, like you keep gathering speed.
So I've never done it.
It's like a 45% increase from 70 to 100.
Does anyone know the physics of it?
Do you speed up linearly?
Yeah.
There's an equation for the acceleration.
It's number of feet per second.
Yeah, it is a linear thing.
Yeah, it's like meters cubed. 10 meters per second squared, right? Yeah, or cubed. Yeah, yeah. an equation for the acceleration. It's number of feet per second. Yeah, it is a linear thing. Yeah, it's like meters cubed.
10 meters per second squared, right?
Yeah, or cubed.
Yeah, yeah.
I don't know.
In any case, he's accelerating all the way down.
So every foot he falls, he's just gaining speed
until he reaches terminal velocity.
Who cares?
This is one of those things, right,
where you know how you'll hear about people
where it's like, remarkably, the man survived
thanks to the fact that he was drunk
like where people fall drunk and like their body doesn't respond rigidly maybe that's why he
survived like a sober person probably would have been so rigid they'd break their back there's
better ways to like penetrate the water and get hurt less and i can't tell how he did it you know
like i know his body position was silly in midair but you can still do it right i read in another
thing that he and his friends jumped off bridges and shit all the time like it's just fun for them so i'm like
this is not this is not his first jump this guy knows what he's doing but uh his form wasn't great
you don't know you have to see his entry yeah that's true i'd love to see the entry i'm looking
at him now what looks like right before it drops off.
And it seems like he could have still pulled it together.
Yeah, the only person who should be banned from that cruise line is the cameraman.
There you go. For ruining a potentially great video.
Royal Cruise Lines has banned cameraman Steve Michelson for his poor camera work during the badass jump.
For, quote, making something cool stupid as shit
have you guys been on a cruise i don't know no i've never been on a cruise i find this to be
super tempting like i i just look over there and i'm like how would this play out even like at sea
moving like well i need to make sure someone saw me jump. Like, I just sit there and like play it through.
You'd be like, Jackie, what?
Hey, tell somebody if I have any problems.
She's just like, yeah, yeah, sure, sure.
She's like, he walks away.
Dude, I, and it's not that there's a word for it.
There's a word for it where like you're driving
and you just like resist the temptation
to hit a telephone pole or something like,
like I think that happens to people,
but this isn't that this isn't like,
you know,
Ooh,
I could die here.
Yeah,
probably shouldn't.
It's more like,
this would be flipping awesome.
I would really enjoy this jump,
but I've never done it.
Obviously.
Yeah.
I wouldn't,
I would recommend you did jump.
No,
don't do it.
And it's like,
if you're at port, you know know like i could even swim back to land
i'd be yeah pay a couple grand for for a cruise and like
sir get to your room we're taking off whatever the fuck you're like just leap immediately
you can't catch me i parked close to shore shore. Yeah. Yeah. What a retard.
Oh, he's so cool.
He's so cool. Nick Nadev, I salute you.
You did it.
Oh, a show I've been watching a ton of recently is Nathan For You.
Have you guys watched Nathan For You before?
No.
It's fucking hilarious.
It's this dude, Nathan Fielder, who will go into failing businesses and present ridiculous
ideas to get their business going he came up with dumb starbucks which was huge
years ago where he oh yeah like yeah the secret is he's so deadpan with all of his like if they
think it's starbucks they'll come in but we're gonna put dumb in front of it and by this parody
law we're allowed to you know and he did that by classifying the whole thing as an art exhibit until they shut him down.
I was watching one of his things.
It was called The Claw of Shame.
And he was like, for a magician thing, he was like, I'm going to stand up here in my
straitjacket.
And right here attached to my waist is a claw with a hook on my pants sitting in the
audience are many unattended minors if i do not escape this straight jacket within one minute
i will be exposed in front of these kids and we have a police officer standing by
it's the funniest fucking setup in the world.
Like that is so goddamn creative. Does he escape?
Yeah, he escapes.
Oh, I thought for sure like a minute was going to go by.
Well, this is awkward.
I should have practiced at home.
This is actually my first try.
It's tongue in cheek and fucking around.
But if you guys, anyone out there is not watching Nathan for you,
I think it was Comedy Central.
It's on, I think, Hulu.
It's fucking hysterical.
Great show.
You showed that to me like years ago now.
Yeah, it's really funny.
Yeah, I'd forgotten about it.
Yeah, that show just ran across my radar for some reason.
I forget.
There was like a news article on it.
I've been watching.
It's either Community or The Community,
the one where they go to community college.
Do you know of it?
Danny Glover's in it.
Sounds familiar.
I've never seen it.
Chevy Chase is in it.
Oh, I think that's just community.
I think you might be right.
Yeah.
So I'm only halfway through the first season.
But it's fun brain candy.
I'm enjoying it.
There's some good laughs.
I watched Fortitude.
Fortitude is based in Iceland or one of those Nordic countries.
And the premise is that some children
come upon a mammoth that is frozen in the ice and the corpses sort has been
exposed so it's like rotting there and they're their parent one of the kids dad
sees a money-making opportunity now of course this is in in that country like
if you find something like this it it sort of belongs to the scientific community.
You can't just sell it.
It's not like that.
Well, I like that rule.
I want to get rid of it.
It belongs in a museum.
It belongs in a museum.
Yes, but after they pay me handsomely for it.
Well, that's his thought process, too.
So he gathers the carcass up such that it is and keeps it in sort of an ice locker.
The problem is prehistoric parasitic wasps' eggs reside within this carcass,
and when it warms, they hatch, fly out, and begin to...
So there are actual parasitic wasps in the wild
that turn spiders and cockroaches into literal zombies
that do their bidding, and then their eggs feed upon these things and it's
not just that it's dumbing them down so that they'll just sit there and be eaten by it by uh
by their larvae they'll the the the cockroach will follow the wasp back to its lair so that
it can enclose it in like in like a cocoon or whatever so they can be eaten the spider will will like make a little web cocoon
for the wasp to like house the eggs in it and it will protect the wasp's eggs due to the uh the
zombification that the wasp has done to it and there's also this fungus that does a very similar
thing to ants so this is like a this is a science fiction. That's really cool It's a science fiction show based on some real-life stuff these wasps do it to humans so these human beings go
completely homicidal
And in an effort to spread the wasp larva to another human being there are two seasons of this show in the second season
They add like an a-list actor
Did he do whose name is escaping me at the moment.
I'll find it real quick.
It's a real good show.
I watched both seasons a while back.
Let's see.
And what's the name again?
Fortitude.
Fortitude.
Yeah.
That sounds interesting.
That does sound kind of interesting.
And it's in the Arctic, so it's all frozen and stuff.
It's a really small, tiny community.
I don't know what else to say about it.
It's a very good show.
Have you watched Occupied yet?
No.
That's a documentary, isn't it?
No.
The premise is it's one of the Nordic countries.
It might be Norway.
I don't know.
And they're going to go energy independent,
but the people that they were buying energy from namely
russia don't like it i hope i have this right so uh russia occupies them and they can't beat
them militarily and we're watching the like government leaders of norway maybe try to
resist them and regain their control and negotiate with them and, and,
you know,
like kowtow to them while not completely.
And you just,
you're like,
man,
they're in a no win situation and it's fun to watch it all play out.
And it's,
it's really well written and well acted.
There's some subtitles involved,
but,
um,
I just,
I just know Kyle would like it.
What service is that on?
Netflix.
Netflix. Netflix.
Yeah, I don't know.
I need a new TV show to watch.
I'm still, I need to, we're only on season three.
My girlfriend and I, I'm trying to catch,
because she's never watched Game of Thrones,
and so we started, like, months and months and months ago,
then got off it for a while,
and then she wanted to get back into it and finish it
and get caught up before it comes out in, like, March or April,
whatever it is.
And so we've been watching a ton of that.
Lots of stuff that like,
that you don't think about.
And then like you watch it with someone new,
like crasters keep,
you know,
like just the way I asked,
like,
why can't fucking,
actually,
this is a good question for our guests later.
Why didn't fucking,
uh,
Thanos make the universe twice as big you know the kind of questions you ask
when you don't know shit about the universe
why do they let this Craster guy just hang out here
and I'm like well because they need someone
to maintain the outpost to make sure that
you know they have a place to stay
she's like okay why don't
why don't just one of them do it and kill this guy
and I'm like well
well
well they'd have to make war upon him well i don't know i don't
know i remember this whole plot part who's craster and what is the keep and crasters keep uh you know
when they go north of the wall and that guy who fucks all his daughters to make other daughters
and takes all the sons and leaves them out there and they get turned into white walkers that's
craster oh okay okay yeah and i mean they would just have to murder him this is just a guy who
lives in the woods he doesn't owe any allegiance to anyone you know no but they're like he's a piece of shit who
rapes his own daughters and like just has like a harem of daughters and like dead sons and he's
sitting there like drinking a bunch of honeyed mead or whatever the fuck and eating his bacon
and pork fat and like they're all sitting there angry at him like fuck that dude i would i would totally depose
him and let his daughters free free to go where right you're gonna take him in send him south in
the wall to be whores sure yeah you know how right now you get fucked and you don't make anything
well how about this yeah you're like because they don't know any better life you know they'll be like they'll really
cheer up the other prostitutes because the other prostitutes will be like god why did i go to i
didn't i went to school for this i got so much student loan debt and then they'll be like well
you know before this i actually lived in a in an icy hut with my father who raped my daughters and
or my my my sisters and me and then gave our sons to be eaten by mystical creatures
and they'd be like you know what i'm not sad to be sucking stinky middle-aged dick anymore
i can't remember what that i guess yeah there weren't too many lookers amongst the bunch if
you recall back though it was it was a rough crew well they were all craster's kids and he was ugly
as shit well he was an older fellow you know he lived in a he lived a hard life look i don't think
we should be judging craster too harshly all. He did what he had to do to survive.
And he kept his family all safe.
And they were all fed.
And they lived in a terrible area where not many could say the same.
They had a better survival rate, except for the boys, than the Starks did.
And y'all see throwing stones at them.
There you go.
That's true.
Oh, why did Ned go south and leave his family all alone up there?
He's such a piece of
shit no but you look down on craster because he's a little incestuous a little you know what
i mean i mean everybody in the in this show is incestuous our our hero is fucking his aunt last
time we saw him yeah but that was more just uh they don't, you know... You think he's going to stop when he finds out?
He's going to find out, like, episode one.
And he's going to be like, eh.
So you knew the whole time
I was fucking your nephew's penis
or whatever the fuck you would say.
That's fucking gross.
But also, you know they're not related in real life.
I'd fuck my aunt if she looked like that.
And if she had dragons.
She was willing to fuck me back.
Or not. Whatever. The dragons thing
definitely makes the difference.
Yeah, you're trying to win a war.
Oh, we got Rob coming in.
Hello! Hey, what's going on,
Rob? Okay, dude.
We're live right now, by the way.
We're recording right now. We're mid-show, so anything will be held against you in the court of PKA. Oh, dude. All right. We're live right now, by the way, like we're recording right now. We're mid show.
so yeah,
it will be held against you in the court of PK.
Oh my God.
All right.
I'm fanboying out so bad.
All right.
This is okay.
I've been watching PKA since you guys had call of duty footage over the audio.
Yeah,
man.
Jesus.
OG.
OG.
OG.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So this is pretty exciting,
but thanks for having me on here.
Um, I assume everything sounds good. Yeah, yeah. So this is pretty exciting. But thanks for having me on here. I assume the microphone and everything sounds good.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You sound great.
You clearly do watch P.K.
because you showed up with perfect audio right off the bat.
Yeah, I've been watching your content for quite some time.
I'm really into comics.
I'm a big, big fan.
Like the Marvel thing, I think,
has injected a huge number of the populace with that.
But, you know, I grew up watching X-Men, Spider-Man,
and all the Batman animated series,
which is probably the best animated TV show ever.
Maybe the X-Men.
I don't know.
They're really good too.
But I grew up with that shit.
And as a child, I was always like,
man, I wish there were big time movies with budgets
about these characters that I like so much.
I want to see Gambit on screen.
And so now I get to live that as an adult.
And so recently i started getting
into your videos and i watched maybe 10 20 hours of them or something like that just the really
long and depth ones but also like the 10 minute ones it's like how do you kill wolverine how do
you kill and you know this is an omega level mutant this is an omega level this that and uh
and i've really dug your channel it seems like you are incredibly knowledgeable
and my first question has got to be how did you get all of this knowledge how long have you been
into comics and like like how did you absorb all of this damn uh well yeah dude thanks for being a
fan man like that's that's that's badass man like it's just weird talking to you guys i just i just
want to say that um no okay so it's
like it's like 25 years roughly um and it's kind of funny you mentioned x-men and batman because
that's how i got into it my dad was a huge dc fan and we started watching x-men the animated series
and then um because i focused almost exclusively on the x-men except for one episode that shows
black panther then my question was like, what else is there?
And so my dad tried to get me into DC
by buying me a Batman comic.
And I was like, nope.
And so I started reading everything else
from Marvel Captain America
and then it just kind of branched out.
But the X-Men have always been like my go-to.
And that's what I'm the most knowledgeable about.
But it's literally just like 24, 25 years
of just reading comics is all it is.
Yeah, the X-Men are just an allegory
for modern societal issues, right? You Yeah. The X-Men are just an allegory for modern societal issues,
right?
You know,
the X-Men are representative of people with different racial backgrounds,
different cultural backgrounds,
different sexual preferences,
all of that stuff.
And how they are sort of pushed to the fringes of society.
And they're always having to fight for equal rights in that world.
It's,
it's a perfect allegory for that.
And,
and,
and you've also
got the two sides of the coin for that resistance just like you've got sort of a malcolm x and a
side of of civil rights and you've got a martin luther king side of civil rights you've got a
magneto and a professor x you know it's it's it's it's perfect in that way and so i grew up and that
was escaping me of course i didn, I just thought it was cool.
This guy shoots fucking energy out of his eyeballs.
And this guy,
I love the episodes where like Wolverine would be up North,
like getting away from it all.
And suddenly there's saber tooth.
He's just here.
Spell it.
Like,
like I love that.
I remember putting his claws to some guy's head and be like,
sometimes these claws slip,
you know,
all of that shit. I loved
that as a kid. And the theme song is the
greatest theme song ever.
There's an entire 30-minute YouTube video featuring
the guy who wrote the theme song to X-Men
that...
He gives the whole backstory of how he wrote
it, composed it, and put it all together.
Seriously? Yeah.
I haven't asked any of that question.
Was that really the Hulk that that lost to thanos in
the fight at the start okay dude woody all right here's the thing man here's the thing like this
this is what this is what drives me nuts so so the mcu like nerf the characters in the extreme
and and from what we can tell the only real theory i've seen is that Loki's still alive. And the idea is that from the time that Loki spawned the dagger in his hand until he died,
like it was all an illusion.
Because at the time, Thanos didn't have the Mind Stone.
So he wouldn't be able to see whether or not it was an illusion.
And so with that being the case, or even the Reality Stone.
So with that being the case, like as far as I'm aware, Loki might still be floating out
there somewhere.
But that was the Incredible Hulk.
And like that never should have happened.
Because there's a story called Thanos vs. Hulk
that was written by Jim Starlin five years ago or something like that.
And the idea was that in the story,
Thanos had made this kind of offhanded comment of,
I've always avoided fighting the Incredible Hulk
because of how strong he is.
And depending on what comic you're reading,
his strength waxes and wanes.
So if you go read the really, really old Bill Mantlo stories, then it's like, okay,
the Incredible Hulk can do some things. But then you read Peter David, and then
you get Devil Hulk and all these things. And then you get Maestro Hulk, who's like the
Incredible Hulk in the future, where the world was basically destroyed through
nuclear warfare. He goes crazy because of all the nuclear energy
he absorbs, and then creates
dystopia which is like this one city that he rules over with an iron fist and then they take
hulk from the present day sim into the future to stop maestro and maestro just like crushes him
and like like two minutes flat it's like breaks his neck and that's the end of that but then you
have like world breaker hulk where he like stomps on the east coast or stomps on on the ground in
new york and like shakes the whole east coast of the United States. So it fluctuates.
But under normal circumstances like that, that never should have happened.
But yeah, I guess... Yeah, his thing is kind of that he can't be beaten in a fist fight.
He just keeps getting angrier, keeps getting stronger,
and you got to beat him some other way, magic or something.
Yeah, that's exactly it.
It really is one of those things where it's like the longer the fight goes on,
the stronger he gets.
That's why when people make the argument
of like, can Superman beat Hulk? Like he
could if Superman's more powerful than like
baseline Hulk at the outset
because then the fight would be over like that.
But if it goes on long enough, then Hulk will just crap
all over him and just destroy him.
Does that raccoon have any powers other than
being able to talk? No, man, but he's
badass. Dude, rocket raccoon, man.
Rocket raccoon. I like him. He's really well voice acted. That's his superpower. That's? No, man, but he's badass. Dude, Rocket Raccoon, man. Rocket Raccoon.
I like him. He's really well voice acted.
That's his superpower.
Bradley Cooper.
That's his power, man.
That is Bradley Cooper.
Yeah.
Oh, I didn't notice that.
He's like a raccoon with a limitless pill,
is what it is.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I really like that brief moment
where you get to see Rocket Raccoon's back
and the scars that were part of his genetic
and physical modifications.
And you get sort of an inclination into the physical and mental torment that he is sort
of covering over with this facade of comedy and quick-wittedness, that he's a really damaged
individual.
Yeah.
That's one of the things the MCU is really good at, is developing the characters
and giving you a reason to care about them.
So, that definitely works.
Yeah, I should watch more of these movies.
I'm glad I watched Infinity War before you came on,
so at least I have some point of reference for
like, yeah, that's a character.
It's all good, man. I was watching on YouTube videos, it could have been
yours, I'm not sure, but they were saying that
the DC world was much better in the comics
and the Marvel world is much better in the movies.
Do you agree with that?
You think that's true?
I don't know, man.
It depends on your poison.
I mean, the problem with like DC is really, really grounded in the sense that it's like there's this really smart guy named Batman who can fight well.
And you get like Wonder Woman and stuff like that.
But for the most part, it's like the same, I don't know, core members
of the Justice League and maybe another 20 people
that DC usually focuses on.
With Marvel, the world's
a lot bigger and there's a lot more that goes on there.
I personally think Marvel's more
interesting, but I'm also a little biased because I've been reading
it for so long.
I think Marvel's a lot more enjoyable
because it's like Kyle said,
Marvel focuses more on
comparing characters
to the real world, whereas
DC, I think, still maintains
that fantasy element of
Superman and Wonder Woman and Green Lantern
and all that kind of stuff. Still making it
tangible and realistic in some ways,
but definitely more like
flights of fantasy.
I was watching it, trying to piece it together as I was going is the
time jam or time stone.
Like I was wondering if you have that one,
could you pause time and then go steal everybody else's stones or would they
have like defenses against that where like it,
it kept it away.
Cause Dr.
Dr. Strange based on being able to like stop time and just like zap throughout the defenses against that, where it kept it away. Because Doctor Strange, based
on being able to stop time and just
zap throughout the entire universe
seemingly, it seemed like nobody else
could touch him for power.
Yeah, why don't you stop time and take the glove off?
Oh, yeah.
That's what I'm saying, man. Stuff like that
is potholes, man.
Why didn't the Eagles
just take the ring
to the mountain of fire?
See, that's like, then we don't get a fucking
cool-ass movie, Taylor.
But sometimes, like, I brought up last time,
sometimes there are actual, real
reasons for it. You know,
where it'd be like, oh, the eagles couldn't do it because of this, that, and the other thing.
I've heard examples of that. I'm a huge Lord of the Rings fan.
I don't really buy any of them.
None of them are that good good where it's like,
well,
the Eagles weren't a taxi service to be ridden around.
It's like,
then the Eagles are cunts because they should have saved them a lot of
trouble.
They were a taxi service later in the movie.
Why not earlier in the movie?
Why not earlier on?
Yeah,
that's true.
Biding their time.
Like,
like,
like they were riding that line.
Like,
well,
let's see who pulls,
pulls out of this thing.
And we'll side with them right at the last moment.
They were the Ireland of Ireland of the Tolkien universe.
So World War II
Ireland stays out.
It absolutely is.
Scumbags.
Green beer drinking
scumbags.
Yeah, man. Did you ever see that episode of Family Guy
back in the day when
it was one of those little blips they had
and it was like Ireland was like this super advanced society. And they were like it was one of those little blips they had and it was like like ireland
was like this super advanced society oh yeah and they were like we've discovered alcohol they're
like just totally destroyed they were like the atlantis of the medieval world and then they
discovered alcohol that's exactly what other places are like struggle with alcohol you know
like ireland's so stereotypical with it
but i feel like they've been boozing for so long they've got genes to like metabolize it
like who i know native americans i'm gonna say every indian reservation in our country
yeah but that's because they didn't have booze and so like now their bodies don't metabolize
it as well like who else asians maybe like when they'm from Kentucky man Larry from in Kentucky
Lexington I used to go all the time yeah yeah okay so you want to you weren't
going too far away then but like everywhere outside of like Lexington and
Louisville is like an alcohol or a meth problem it's insane oh yeah oh yeah I've
been I've been on the streets of Lexington late at night wait now sort of
strip club with like six hundred dollars and ones in my pocket with my cousin.
And he's like, I wish I'd borrowed –
$600 in ones in your pocket?
That was going to be my question, man.
I was wearing Steve Irwin cargo pants.
I'd already given 400 of them to a whore.
I was down a lot.
That's why he had 600. Duh.
Fool I am.
My cousin's like, I wish I brought a bigger knife.
We're just sitting there on the street corner,
and some black guy comes riding by on the opposite end of the corner,
runs right into us on a bicycle, crashes right there on the ground.
He gets up all crack-headed out,
and I noticed at that point the bicycle doesn't have a seat.
There's no seat on it.
He's having to stand and pedal, and he's like,
hey, guys, hey, you got any money? I just need enough to get a bed down at the shelter. And I guess like $3 to
get a bed at the shelter. And I'm like, I really don't want to pull out this huge wad of money.
So I'm trying to peel off three ones inside my pocket and I give it to him and he's jazzed about
this $3. So he starts telling us his life story. He's like, yeah, I was just down the road and they loaned me $5 to do this and that. But as collateral, they took my social security
card and my bike seat. So I got to get back to them tomorrow to get that shit back because it
sucks not having a seat, man. He's like, you know, I'm going to be in the X Games. I was like, wait,
what? Yeah, yeah, I'm going to be in the X Games. I got talent. I was like, what can you do? He's like, you want i got talent i was like what can you do he's like you want to see a flip and i'm like fuck yeah i
want to see if we're waiting on our third buddy to get out of the strip club he's trying to literally
prostatize a stripper in there and and he runs at the brick wall we're next to runs up it and does
a back flip and lands and goes and i go here's five more dollars, man.
That was better than anything I saw inside that strip club over there.
That was fucking impressive.
So yeah, they definitely have a drug and alcohol problem on the streets of that city.
Oh, yes, they do.
Yeah, it's nuts. You go to like a UK game and like, dude, shit pops off.
You get to like, they have this place called Tali Ho, which has like amazing food out there.
The problem is that's where you go to get shot.
So like when it gets to like 2.30, 3 o'clock in the morning,
they have sheriffs that stand
outside that place. My buddies were scared.
Yeah, screw that, man.
It was me and two of my gang
and they're not scared of anything. They're hoping some
shit will pop off. Then we brought two Canadians
with us from
some good old northern boys
and they'd never seen any shit like this.
They were in their rental car behind us,
and their car's loaded with guns and stuff.
But we're driving through these scary fucking neighborhoods.
Like, we're not scared, but we're concerned.
Like, it's rough, and we finally get parked,
and they're like, where have you brought us, eh?
This is pretty rough around here, eh?
I'm like, no, this is the nice part of town.
That's why we're here.
We're going to be staying right there, and I point at
a burnt-out factory.
They're so fucking scared. They're in their car
with AR-15s, like, ready
to fucking defend themselves against the
Mujahideen or whatever.
They're fucking terrified.
It's a rough town.
Yeah, Kentucky. I don't know. We would just see
these chicks on pills walking
and be like, ah, keep some thin.
It looked like that music video
we watched before the show.
What was the name of that video?
Oh, fuck.
I'll just scroll up.
Oh, yeah, here it is.
It's Skinbone.
It's the artist.
And the song is called 100 Miles it's a it's a thousand miles
remix skin bone i didn't get that earlier that's funny yeah yeah it's a it's this uh rapper who
has literally killed a man apparently and he's just sort of like it's that song that it's the
thousand miles song if you've never heard it's like and i miss you and And I need you. But he's rapping about riding down the block with a Glock.
Your ass fitting to get shot.
Da-da-da-da-da-da-da.
And he's dancing in the streets with a car.
I need to hear this song.
I wish we could play it. It would totally get automated.
Except it doesn't do the da-da-da-da-da-da thing.
He does a fake with a Mac-10.
Like, bleh-gah-gah-gah-gah.
That's what they do.
That's a silencer. I'll pull it up later on... I feel racist just watching it.
It's clearly tongue-in-cheek.
That's hilarious.
And he's dancing in the street
while that soft-ass music plays. And he's got a bottle of booze in one hand and fake guns in the gift shot and he's like dancing in the street like while that soft ass music plays
and he's got a bottle of booze in one hand and like fake guns of the other like like waving
him around talking about shooting people in the neck and then and the noise it makes the
click click and he's literally a murderer this isn't like this he's like i'll shoot you in the
neck just to hear the noise and i miss you and uh and then you're like, dude, he might. He might. He's literally
a murderer, talking about how fun it is to
kill people. That seems really in
with rappers right now, to have killed someone,
right? Like a lot
of those SoundCloud rappers,
didn't they do? Yeah, I guess that's not a new
thing. Chris Brown,
didn't he beat up another woman?
Like, he didn't get
enough leeway. Hard to to say i want to say like
there were no charges pressed and now he's suing her for defamation so everybody's gonna leave him
i don't know i don't really follow chris brown but i have a i have a hard time believing the
legitimacy of these claims and rap videos if they're essentially like confessing to murder
because there's no statute of limitations for murder.
I killed a man and buried him here.
This is the gun.
I'm on the street in
the park. Check it out.
I'm the beat the bitch. Yo, that's buried.
Deep as fuck.
You better go check that
out.
Would you get a shovel and the search dogs?
By the big oak tree.
You can't miss it.
Here's a treasure map to all of my bitches' clocks.
Happened July 6, 61.
We're joking about this.
This is literally a thing in Mexican rap videos.
There's a whole category of Mexican music
where it's like cartel gangster music.
And there was this guy who got in a ton of trouble
and got caught because he's singing these songs
about murders they'd done.
And he's not fictionalizing it nearly enough.
He's like,ro martinez we
killed you last fall like talking about where he buried pedro and how he did the murder and like
here's a picture of your body your balls and and it's just like what the fuck did he just confess
and show the evidence on camera and then there's this other rapper he who looks like a kid. Somebody was showing me a few months ago
and he looks dumb as fuck.
His name might be Lil Felon.
And he's in the video
with machine guns, like real ones.
Like the video we're joking about, he's got airsoft guns.
But this little kid has
legit illegal firearms.
And he's talking about doing murder
while he's on the run for murder
in the video.
He's making this music video while he is wanted for murder and on the run.
That's legit.
I hope he changed locations afterwards.
Or didn't.
I don't know.
If I were him, I would change locations.
I'd upload and drive away.
Yeah, that's the thing about rap in its early days.
You had people like Dr. Dre and Snoop Dogg who were fake gangsters, 100% fake gangster.
Are you sure Snoop Dogg's a fake gangster?
He's absolutely a fake gangster.
He is the NHL all-star gang.
Yeah.
Okay.
Okay.
He does.
He does.
But I've actually heard Snoop was legit from back in the day.
Yeah, I think Snoop is one of the legit ones.
I'm not sure.
This isn't my area of expertise.
I promise you he's not. Snoop Dogg paid his way to back in the day. I think Snoop is one of the legit ones. I'm not sure. This is my air of it. I promise you he's not.
Snoop Dogg paid his way to be in a gang.
I mean, I don't think Dr. Dre is.
Like, I don't think anybody, like, in what universe would anybody believe that Dr. Dre
was actually a gangbanger back in the day?
Like, nobody would believe that.
Nobody.
Eazy-E, though.
Yeah, Eazy-E was.
Eazy-E's a little bit of a different story.
See, and that's the rivalry that they had.
You had Eazy-E rapping about, like, real,
the song is real motherfucking gangsters,
and that whole song is about how Dr. Dre and Snoop Dogg
are fake gangsters, pranksters, wannabe gangsters.
You're not thinking of Ice Cube when you say Snoop Dogg.
You mean Snoop Dogg.
I mean Snoop Doggy Dogg.
Yeah, the guy that follows me on Twitter.
I've always thought of him as a real gangster.
Not at all. The guy that follows me on twitter i've always thought of him as a real gangster not at all on twitter and so i know yeah he would have told me dude snoop rolls into my dms all the time i've dm'd snoop dog before the um who's who's the guy um um suge knight suge knight was talking
about this uh back in like 2002 um suge knight is a real
motherfucking gangster who i want to say is doing 40 years right now for murder and and he was given
like the inside scoop on a lot of these guys like this about he's like snoop's a nice kid like don't
get me wrong but he's not a gangster he paid his way in to be in that gang and to represent them and they were cool with it he's
like in dr dre we had a meeting where tupac we just lay everything on the table and tupac was
like i gotta be real i don't like trucking with no faggots and they were like what are you what
are you talking about they're like you know what i'm talking about dre you like fucking dude's asses
and dre was like dude dre goes motherfucker if i wanted to fuck ass i'd
fuck a woman's ass i like getting my cheeks blown out and so he's basically saying that dre was gay
and admitted to being gay and in private and if you go back to dre's early work he is wearing
makeup and dressed very effeminately on his covers what is getting your cheeks blown out
getting fucked in the ass real hard yeah i was gonna somehow i went straight to pegging that's what it's called right when i picked up while you
were laying down yeah yeah no yeah i just i would fuck a woman i like getting my cheeks
blown i was like oh clearly he wants a woman to fuck him in the ass but i
nah he was saying if he wanted to like like tupac was saying that
dre fucks men in the butt and he was like nah if I wanted to fuck an ass I'd fuck a woman's ass
I like getting my ass fucked
I have the answer on Snoop
about his gang thing
it seems like it's somewhere in the middle
if this is true. As a teenager
he frequently ran into trouble with the law
he was a member of the Rollin 20 Crips
gang in the east side area of Long
Beach although he stated in
1993 that he never actually
joined the gang.
Shortly after graduating from high school, he was arrested for possession of cocaine
and for the next three years was frequently in and out of jail or prison.
His cousins were some other bullshit, homemade tapes, gang called 213.
But there it is.
It looks like he got arrested for cocaine.
He was in and out of prison for
three years and then... So was Tim
Allen. He's not a gangster.
Tim Allen was more of a gangster because he...
Do you know how much coke that dude had?
Yeah, he had a ton of coke.
It's not like he got busted.
And also look at his mugshot because he's got a
dope mustache in it.
Perfect for catching all the spare granules
that slipped. Didn't quite make it into the mucus
membrane. You don't want to waste.
It's funny to think, what was it, like
12 years after that, he was
doing his like,
thing. Which,
by the way, underrated show.
I liked Tool Time a lot as a kid.
Maybe it's not that good because I haven't watched it in
Home Improvement because it's been
like 16 years. I liked it. I mean, it's not that good because I haven't watched it in Home Improvement because it's been like 16 years.
I mean, it's a show
that was made at one point in time
but like, I don't know
if it was ever a great show, like an underrated
show. It was a good show.
I'm never going to go back.
Like the mom in Home Improvement, she was pretty hot though.
She got resting bitch face.
Snoop was also charged with murder
and he beat it charged yeah
really anyone can be charged with murder he was acquitted on february 20th 1996 yeah so that
suge knight was convicted of murder he's also beaten some men to death with his bare hands
uh suge knight's a scary motherfucking guy that's that's yeah it was nuts man like like the i mean
i don't know if it's true.
I mean, take it for what it's worth.
Rumors around the general populace.
But supposedly, even when he was in prison, he was still running stuff from prison.
Oh, yeah, for sure.
Yeah, Suge Knight.
That's pretty insane.
That's like Al Capone, man.
Yeah, absolutely.
He's a big fucking imposing dude, too.
Suge Knight is? night is yeah yeah he was
he was describing a lot of stuff that went down he had a great howard stern interview um it it
was pretty it was pretty funny you know how rick ross is a rapper and he stole the name from freeway
rick ross who's in prison right i was unaware is that right let me make sure that oh no okay so
rick ross i, I remember this.
Rick Ross, when he popped up on the scene,
everybody thought he was super hardcore.
Then it turned out he was like
a prison
guard or something like that.
And it totally destroyed
his credibility. At least as far as
I remember anyway. I don't know. It may have
been different, but I'm pretty sure that was the case.
No, your haphazard memory is more than enough for me to stop googling i believe
go for it so taylor keeps asking question about the infinity wars movie why didn't he snap his
fingers and double the size of the universe okay see that's that's as soon as that happened i was
like okay so that's dumb because in in okay in the comics, Thanos was obsessed with Mistress Death, right?
Like originally when, let's see, you had Iron Man number whatever when Thanos first shows up.
And then you had the first appearance of Mistress Death, which is the second time that Thanos shows up.
And then you go into Thanos War where he invades Earth and all that kind of stuff.
He was obsessed with
Mistress Death. And so you go, you jump
forward 40 years almost
and you read Ed Brubaker's
Thanos Rising and you end up finding out
when he was a kid, Mistress Death visited him
and then basically manipulated him over the years
into being obsessed with Death and then
eventually he fell in love with her. And so the whole point
in the comics is Thanos believes he can get
the affection of Mistress Death by wiping out half the life in the universe.
And like, that's it.
The plot to the movie didn't make any sense to me because it's like, okay, so like Thanos,
you've done nothing.
That whole perfectly balanced thing wasn't in the comics?
That's a movie concept?
No, that's a movie concept.
It's totally in the movies.
The comic concept makes a lot more sense now that you've said it.
Yeah, it's a lot more reasonable because it adds more depth to his character.
The problem is all Thanos has done is created a stopgap measure because it's like, okay, cool, Thanos, awesome.
So what happens if half this population never comes back and then every sentient being in the universe understands the value of life and now they all have two kids instead of one?
So not only have you done nothing to solve the problem, you've actually made it worse.
So that doesn't make any sense to me in terms of,
and I mean, obviously they're going to fix all that
by like time travel, wiping the event from the minds of everybody.
It'll be like it never happened or something.
Right, yeah, but the way you put it,
like it seems like he'll have to keep wiping out
half the population every seven to 10 years or so, right?
That's what it seems, yeah.
That's what it seems.
That's the only answer to keeping half the population
eliminated entirely. Either that or
wipe out half the population and then take away
everybody's ability to procreate.
I kind of like the movie plotline even though
we're busting holes in it because it made Thanos
a complicated character. If he was just doing
it to pick up chicks, he'd be
pure evil and there wouldn't be two sides
of him. But in the movie
version of him, he's a pretty
intelligent guy who yes benevolent explains that yeah that he's coming from a place of good you
know my home world was ruined because it got overpopulated i don't want this horrible thing
to happen to the rest of the universe and while i don't agree with him it's like ah but it you know
in his head he's the good guy in this story. Was everyone on Thanos' planet a giant hulking monster of a being like he was?
No.
Okay.
So, all right.
Bear with me here.
Oh, I've seen your video on this.
I already know the answer, but please continue.
Yeah, yeah.
Okay.
So, universe is made.
Earth is formed.
You have basically like primate man, like man as apes.
They were called the Wonders is actually what they were called at the time. And then you had
Celestials who showed up on Earth and they said, we're going to experiment on humanity. And so
you'd have three Celestials who experiment with three groups. You have the Eternals who are
basically like angels. You have the Deviants who look like trolls. And then you have baseline humans
whose genes were modified so that in some 10 to 20,000 years, powers would start to emerge, which explains like where mutants come from and why Bruce Banner became the Incredible Hulk instead of just turning into tumors and all that kind of stuff.
But the idea is that at some point along the line, some of the Eternals left Earth and they went to Saturn's moon Titan and they took up residence there.
And so for the most part, if you were to walk by an Eternal, they would look human.
They would look like beautiful, perfect humans, but they would look like humans.
What Thanos has is he's basically like a mutant among his own people.
So he's an eternal, but he has a deviant gene.
And that's why when he was born, he was born with all the powers of an eternal and all the physical attributes of a deviant.
So he's technically what a deviant would look like, but he's also got insane levels of strength and
speed and durability and stamina and energy projection
and stuff like that.
But no, I mean, most everybody on this home planet looks
like a normal human. Gotcha.
So is he bullied a lot and left out?
Is that part of his story? Where they're like, ha ha, look at that
fat purple head.
No, actually, he's not
fat, he's like Brock Lesnar wide.
Well, I'm sure when he was little, he bulked up quick
and it takes some time to grow into that deviant baby fat.
Yeah, no.
The story of Thanos is actually really, really sadistic.
He was kind of picked on to a degree,
but the problem was that he didn't understand why he looks different.
And that's when Mistress Death showed up.
And she was like, well, you should experiment on people and find out.
So he started experimenting on like animals and things like that.
And then he started experimenting on people.
And then eventually, like there's one point.
God, it's like he has this insane, this part where he seems to lose his mind.
Because what he ends up doing is he leaves Titan
and he ends up traveling around the universe.
And which is, this is like 3000 years before the modern day or something like that. So you're like, he's traveling around the universe. He ends this is like 3,000 years before the modern day or something like that so you're like he's
traveling around the universe he ends up creating like a band of pirates more or
less and then like every every woman he meets he procreates with her and then
kills her and then like drags her into his room and then starts talking to her
because he sees mistress death but everybody else sees just like a corpse
and so they think he's losing his mind,
just like talking to a corpse and trying to understand why the corpse won't
love him,
which is weird,
but kind of funny at the same time.
Like,
why won't you love me?
You know,
that scene should have been in the movie.
That's cool.
It would have been hilarious to be honest.
It's just like a montage.
Like the Rocky sounds,
he's fucking dozens of women to death.
I would die laughing. No, it's, it's, it's, like the Rocky sounds, he's fucking dozens of women to death. Dude, I would die laughing.
No, it's
crazy because
the Black Order in Infinity War
was originally part of Jonathan Hickman's run
of Avengers and New Avengers, which took place
in Infinity. And the problem, they
wasted those characters so bad because
Corvus Glaive, dude, that guy was awesome.
So the way this happens is Thanos is
looking for his firstborn son. Basically
looking for all the offsprings so he can kill them all off
so he doesn't have to worry about anybody challenging him.
And so Corvus Glaive always precedes
Thanos. And he shows up on the planet
and he's like, I'm here on behalf of my
master. All he asked for is a
pittance. Like a token,
a tribute. And so what he basically says,
what Corvus Glaive says is, either you can give
us the heads of all the males between the ages ages of like 13 and 22 that's a small thing yeah the small
thing or we will like raise your planet we'll we'll annihilate everybody on your planet in its
entirety and basically like everybody gives in until they get to earth but let no do the do the
the dude yeah like the coal obsidian was super cool in the comics like that's
a problem that marvel has in the movies is like they waste villains and i don't really understand
why i haven't what is marvel gonna do when they have to switch actors like the marvel universe
in the movies i think is amazing but how long can tony stark be iron man you know how long are they
gonna have captain america in that job he seems to want to retire every movie i don't know what the scoop with that
is yeah i don't know is there's no plan for that you think they'll be able to replace iron man make
iron man not the center of the show anymore i mean they'll switch him out the problem is will people
accept it because like robert downey jr is the face of the mcu like he's dude he's amazing and so so that's the
question like will people go see an iron man movie or more than one iron man movie that does not
feature tony stark because if they come out with like iron man 4 and like it's james rhodes becoming
the new iron man people will go see it just to see what it's like the question is will they go
see iron man 5 and iron man 6 and like the movies that come after or any of the avengers movie if steve rogers rhodes james rhodes is uh don cheetle he's a black guy oh don't you yeah yeah yeah so if
if they do what they did in the comics when they killed captain america and they make bucky barns
the new captain america will people go see that movie like that's that's the question honestly
there's there's no other alternative like either they're gonna have to write the characters out
entirely or like kill them off um or do a massive reboot and and go to a different uh author's
storyline yeah exactly like something along those lines i mean they have the x-men of the fantastic
four so they can make movies for the next like 100 years because people don't understand like
people don't understand how how big it is i mean chris claremont wrote the x-men for 17 years like
that's 17 years worth of stories and so that's just the x-men that's just uncanny x-men for 17 years like that's 17 years worth of stories and so that's just the x-men
that's just uncanny x-men then you have x-factor then you have x-force and then you have like
like cable and you have like what is it x-sanction when cable crushed the avengers and the x-men like
by himself at the same time like you have like all those things that go you mentioned the fantastic
four lightweights like me think the fantastic four is stupid because all the movies have been
stupid oh they're not oh dude woody okay wait what the movies are good you say no no no no the
movies are garbage like the right comics the comics are amazing all i know is like i don't
know the comics i've just been told that the fantastic four is really good that it's amazing
but the whole world people like me think the fantastic four is really good that it's amazing but the whole world people like me
think the fantastic four is lame because they've only seen the movies yeah and and that's that's
fair i mean if if your only exposure to the fantastic four are the movies and yeah of course
you're gonna because you're gonna be like okay so like these movies were boring and they were
stupid and like the most recent one fan four stick was was a travesty but like you know the
character of galactuses no okay so galactus
is like this universal constant right like this is a guy that can do almost anything he wants to
like he can he can he can resurrect people from the dead he can wipe out you know the caveat to
him is that in order to keep his life sustained he has to consume planets that can support life
and so there's there's one point in jonathan hickman's fantastic four run when the son of reed Reed Richards, like Franklin Richards, from the future comes back into the past and Galactus is dead.
He literally resurrects him from the dead and makes him his herald.
And so the son of Reed Richards resurrects a god from the dead and then turns him into a servant.
It's one of the craziest things that I've ever seen.
And you kind of have to read it in context to really grasp it.
It's one of the craziest things that I've ever seen.
You kind of have to read it in context to really grasp it.
Galactus has always been a weird character to me because he's so physically large
that it's hard to get him on the page even
and make it make sense.
How tall is Galactus?
Like 10,000 miles?
No, he's bigger than that.
He's bigger than 10,000 miles tall.
Wait, is he just kind of like floating out in space, eaten?
No, no, no.
He's not really like... I mean, he's not, I don't think he's that tall.
I mean, the tallest thing in the Marvel universe is the Godkiller armor, is Iron Man's Godkiller armor.
And that was 25,000 feet tall.
Wait, how does, like his suit gets to be 25,000 feet tall?
No, no, no.
There was, in the early days of the universe,
before they broke out,
between gods, between the Celestials and a group called the Aspirants,
and the Aspirants built this god-killer armor
that was 25,000 feet tall
in order to destroy the Celestials,
but the Aspirants lost.
And so this armor sat derelict
for billions and billions of years.
And so eventually,
Tony Stark takes control of it.
And this thing is bigger than cities.
It's insane how big, how huge this thing is. But Tony Stark takes control of it. And this, this thing is bigger than like cities. Like it's, it's insane how big, how, how huge this thing is. But Tony Stark like takes control of it and like
flies it back to earth. It's the most insane thing ever. But yeah, no, I mean, Galactus is probably
like a couple thousand feet tall, but I mean, but you're right. I mean, he's, he's massive in size.
Like it's, it's insane. I mean, like he would dwarf the average, I mean, the average person,
you know, to have him show up
on Earth
in a Marvel movie would be nuts.
It would be this huge, epic, dramatic thing
when this 2,000 to 3,000
foot tall guy with a giant purple helmet
lands on Earth.
Everyone's
going to die now.
It's kind of crazy.
That's always what I want to know. The the the power ranking so with that guy like galactus he's he's probably
at the top oh dude man now you see now oh my god because i know there are so many different stories
that like cross and stuff that like it's probably not well defined it's like now you're getting the
clickbait stuff like this these see these make good videos, like clickbait videos.
Marvel's most powerful character.
Okay, so if you're talking about gods, then it's the one above all,
which is literally like this immutable, indestructible being.
And depending on what you're reading, sometimes it's Jack Kirby, who was the artist in the 1960s that made most of the characters that you know.
So Thor, Iron Man, a lot of those were basically created by him alongside stan lee sometimes it's
actually stanley but uh basically like the one above all represents like the editors writers
artists after that is the living tribunal which is the judge of the multiverse to basically make sure
there's no imbalance of like magical energy whatever the hell that means and then after
that you start getting into just different characters based
on circumstance. So you have the
Beyonders who are powerful enough to destroy the Living
Tribunal and wipe out the multiverse. You've got
the Molecule Man, Owen Reese. You've got
Protege who can copy the powers of everybody
who meets, regardless of how powerful they are.
So it really kind of waxes and wanes.
You've got Thanos with the heart of the universe.
It just kind of shifts and changes around.
Yeah, it's situational. Whoever needs to be the most powerful to make the story cool
sometimes it seems like apparently i bored what he just left no i'm probably peeing i'm growing up
a large prostate who's the shittiest who has the shittiest power in your opinion of people on those
people who are living under the city um Was it the Morlocks or whatever?
No, the...
Oh my god, Kyle, what are they called?
It's where...
The Mo-Man...
The Moloids, that's what they are.
Yeah, they had the shittiest powers.
They were basically just deformed.
Oh, yeah, you're talking about the Morlocks.
Yeah, yeah, okay.
My power is I have spina bifida that's it there's it okay that'll count that if
they're just handicapped though there are the mutants though it's like there's
a there's an episode of the x-men cartoon where like like a thug gang of
just mean humans is chasing this frog boy, like through an alley. And he's like,
I don't even have any powers. I just look like a frog.
Yeah, no, you're talking about leech. No, leech was cool. Leech had the power to shut down other
people's powers. Yeah, within like, within like a 10 foot radius. But yeah, no, no, that's basically
what it is. Like there are people who have powers, most of which suck. And like, they're they're so deformed like they can't live on the surface because they would just be like hunted
down but no yeah yeah like it like life sucks when you're a morlock like you're literally living in
the sewers of new york just like slum in a day by day it's it's the worst the worst circumstance to
be in they've got it pretty bad who's then of like of the main cast and crew people that someone like
me might know who's like the x-men or whoever when
they show up to the battle everybody's like oh okay well i guess so and so's here now you know
i thought jubilee's powers were always pretty lame jubilee oh yeah well it depends okay so
so there's a character named emma frost who is a telepath that's more powerful than charles xavier
and there was a comic and i can't remember is a telepath that's more powerful than Charles Xavier.
And there was a comic, and I can't remember which one it was, but she took control of Iceman and realized that Iceman was, like, super powerful.
That if he wanted to, he could just, like, stop the Earth and basically, like, wipe out all life on the Earth.
And then she realized that what Jubilee had the ability to do was detonate matter on the atomic scale.
So she could literally just, like, create atomic detonations all over the place if she wanted wanted, like if her powers ever got to that level. The problem is that they're not. She just creates sparkly lights. So she's only really like
useful on the 4th of July and like no other time of the year. So, but yeah, like, oh, okay. So,
so if that's the question, like which X-Men shows up and people are just like, well, I mean, okay.
Not necessarily X-men i
just say x-men like i just mean the whole the whole gaggle yeah captain america captain america
sucks like like vindicated yeah i know people people are just like captain america like captain
like okay so like he can run fast and punch hard like who gives a shit like whatever man like he's
got a stupid little shield that's like the one thing he has no Captain America blows
I told I couldn't agree more. He sucks. I'd rather have Brock Lesnar on my team do me too, man
Just do it like f5s to everybody
Wrong I have the expert on my side.
You like Captain America.
You said I was retarded for saying that I'd rather have Brock Lesnar on my team.
Captain America's value is in his leadership skills and his organization of the team.
Oh, my God.
Kyle, you're so full of shit.
That's like people saying, like, I wouldn't date her, but, like, she has a nice personality.
Like, that's what it comes down to. I just think she has a nice personality. What?
I just think he's a great leader, and oftentimes
the personalities of all these individuals...
He doesn't even know how to use Microsoft Excel
in this day and age. How is he organizing shit?
They're flipping through pamphlets? He sucks dick.
Fuck him.
He schedules the meeting. No one's there.
He's like, I guess they didn't get my letters.
I don't know. I don't know. I mailed them out
ten days ago. I put the right postage on them.
Where is Tony
at?
Yeah, Captain America's...
I mean, I wouldn't go as far as
saying he's the worst, but he's certainly boring.
There's really nothing good about him,
aside from the fact that people respect him
and he can marshal forces.
But it's like, whatever, man.
I'm personally more interested
in like the super powerful characters
and like godly characters and space events.
And so when you have stuff like that,
like you have a character like Protege
who has no limit to the powers he can copy.
You've got characters like Annihilus
who literally led an army of,
there's a story in Marvel Comics called Annihilation.
It came out in 2006, written by Dan Abnett.
This guy in the negative zone, Annihilus,
and if you don't know what the negative zone is,
it doesn't matter, but it's just a different dimension.
He literally leads an army of like trillions of bugs
into the main Marvel universe
and just like almost wipes everything out,
like almost destroys the whole universe.
Like you have like Star-Lord
and you have like all these guys
who were just like fleeing for their lives
and just trying to survive,
just trying to take it day by day.
And like, that's it.
But you've got characters like that.
You've got like, you have all these crazy uber characters.
And then here comes Captain America with his ability to run pretty fast and punch kind
of hard, you know, with his analog watch to make sure we're all synced.
Yeah, exactly.
And his scout badges and he can make
s'mores with the best of them you know and it's like it's like okay like whatever he teaches them
like not tying and shit like that when i was a kid i always thought i would want to be morph
like like like morph could copy the could like become any of the x-men like a slightly lesser
version of them it seemed like But he could become whoever he wanted
to be and use
their powers. But he was always a very troubled individual
and Wolverine was always like, Morph, no!
Come back! He's like, I gotta go away again.
This one's for you, Morph!
Well, it's funny that you
mentioned that because Morph in the cartoon show
was created for the cartoon show.
He never actually existed in the comic. Well, he did much later
on during
what
was that? They had a mini-series called
World Tour where they jumped from Dimension to
Exiles. There was a version of him created for Exiles.
But
a character in Marvel Comics that
actually can copy the powers of other people
is Copycat, Vanessa Carlisle,
the girlfriend of Deadpool. You have Mystique
who can only look
like other people but copycat can actually copy all their abilities and everything so she's pretty
legit but uh yeah no more would have been cool man like I'm like just turning into people and
just like going places like that'd be that'd be awesome how did you uh how did you like Logan
oh I loved it I think it's the best of the of the fox x-men movies i agree i agree yeah i uh i
really love that movie i thought it was excellent that's the one i was telling you to watch last
week taylor the i'll watch that one next yeah yeah that's the the dark r-rated adult wolverine
movie yeah and the the blu-ray the 4k blu-ray actually comes with black and white version
which is it's not hugely different but it actually kind of changes a bit but it's the
wolverine movie that we always needed like like the dark and gritty wolverine the problem is it's not hugely different but it actually kind of changes a bit but it's the wolverine movie that we always needed like like the dark and gritty wolverine the problem
is it's called logan and originally it was billed as being based on old man logan but it's totally
different from the old man yeah it is it's more like unforgiven so i don't know if you ever saw
it is um it's my favorite western yeah oh dude yes okay so it's like unforgiven meets wolverine
and it's and it's just amazing it's it's so good yeah absolutely i i i kind of wish it'd been more like old man logan so because because i like revenge
movies and if you start out or that's the one where like the hulk family kills uh logan's family
right what's that story like yeah i want that storyline for like the the hulk family they're
all green but different they literally murder and smush Wolverine's entire family, like his children, his wife.
And he comes home and he's like, what the fuck happened?
Yeah, dude.
Who smushed my family?
Yeah.
Smushed my family.
Okay, Taylor.
So the old man Logan's story was based on this idea that the Red School sat down and said,
okay, so we as villains have always been defeated because we've always faced our heroes the
same way.
So like, we're going to change everything.
And so like Jubilee is at the X-Men mansion, Wolverine's there with her.
And then like Jubilee starts getting like these emergency broadcasts from like the Fantastic
Four and like the Avengers and like the inhumans
which doesn't really matter because the inhumans suck but like all the superhero teams like alpha
flight is kind of they're all just like like we need help sos like we need help whatever
and then around that time um all the x-men villains come smashing in to like the xavier
institute and so you have wolverine who's panicking and he's like get all the kids get
him out of here and he's calling for the x-men he's like killing all the villains all that kind
of stuff and then at the end of it all when all
the villains are dead mysterio shows up and he says like thank you wolverine we never could have
done it without you and they end up realizing it was all an illusion created by mysterio and
wolverine killed all the x-men and so like after that he's like oh yeah he's like i'm never gonna
pop my claws again so the story progresses he ends up leaving his family to travel with hawkeye and
you know a few things happen but when he comes back the hulk family had basically like killed his
killed his family and so like after 50 years refusing to pop his claws who carl's like the
coolest thing ever 50 years refusing to pop his claws you get this full page spread it just says
snicked and it's just like damn and then he goes on like a massacre he kills them all it's it's
insane yeah wolverine's got to be one of my favorite characters.
I don't know. He's just such a
well-written character. His powers are fucking
cool. The claws are cool.
The whole thing. The sideburns are fucking
cool. The mutton chops.
The whole fucking thing. The hair.
The costume. Awesome.
The hair. His shoulders.
In the cartoon, his shoulders
are showing. And've got like blue hair
like you could tell you know the cartoon
representation of Taylor essentially
he's just furry
but he's shorter
he's fucking 5'3
because you're made of a game
or whatever the fuck it is
adamantium I don't know
something hard and scary sounding
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dude that book sucked me in so hard i was like there'd be i'd be doing other shit shit i enjoyed
wishing i was listening to that book right now you're like i want to hear what's next
and yeah there's two i books I haven't heard yet.
I was like that with Game of Thrones, where I was like purposefully going slow on the road, on the way places.
Yeah.
My hotel was literally like a four-minute drive from the airport.
And I'd be like, should I listen to it in a four-minute chunk?
Like, I'd really like that, but it ruins it to break it up into four-minute chunks.
Yeah.
Yeah.
The three-body problem I really liked.
It's kind of, I it's a you need some
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Yeah, I'm curious about what's going to happen after the next Infinity War movie.
Where the universe goes from there. It feels like this is a crescendo.
It feels like it's all over.
How do you top what's coming next?
Oh, dude, they can do a lot.
Like, okay, so Spider-Man Far From Home takes place in Europe.
So that's your entryway into Excalibur.
Like the Captain Britain core.
I mean, you've got, they could do Alpha Flight.
Because now they have Carol Danvers.
Okay, so in Marvel Comics, you've got S.H.I.E.L.D.,
which is basically, like, they monitor Earth. And then the counterpart to shield is swords the sentient world observation
and response department they monitor space so literally what you do is you say like carol
danvers is back on earth from wherever she was before fighting in the kree scroll war who knows
but like she's back on earth and because of everything that happened with thanos then
humanity's like okay so like there's stuff out there in space that we don't know about, we need to be aware of. So they create swords. So
they basically launched this giant satellite into space. Carol Danvers is the one who leads the
charge. And then you've got like Alpha Flight, which was a really crappy Canadian superhero team
that nobody ever cared about. And then they turned around and then they attached it to sword and they
became a lot more interesting. But basically like that's their Black Ops team that goes out and does
what they need to do in space. So there's
that right there. You bring in
Richard Rider as Nova.
You can bring in Quasar with the Quantum Band.
So now you've got space-faring characters who just fly
around the universe and do whatever it is that they do.
Depending on what they do in the movies,
you have cosmic entities that you can bring in.
They can start doing
things like advanced idea mechanics when they create
a cosmic cube.
There's a ton of stuff they can do. That's advanced idea mechanics when they create a cosmic cube. You can do all kinds.
There's a ton of stuff they can do.
And that's just based off the top of my head.
I mean, from there, you start branching out into the X-Men.
You start branching out into focusing on the Kree and the Skrulls.
You start focusing on the Shi'ar Empire.
I mean, that's the thing.
With everything that Marvel has under their belt, so they already have the rights to.
And then you combine that with everything they got back when Disney
bought Fox, they can make movies for like
two or three hundred years easily.
Like it's insane how
long this could go on for. So yeah,
it's bonkers. I'm just more curious about what they're going
to do with the core group, with the Avengers themselves.
You know, because that's
kind of been the mainstay for the last decade.
That's the answer to aging Avengers, you know,
to start shifting into different actors.
Yeah.
I mean, I think that's what they'll do because, I mean, Robert Downey Jr., like, he has not worn the Iron Man suit since the first movie.
And when you look at something like Spider-Man Homecoming, he just kind of chimes in.
And I see that being the future of his career.
What do you mean he hasn't worn the suit?
He hasn't actually put on the Iron Man suit.
Like, if you go back and you look.
You mean it's CGI?
Yeah, it's all CGI.
It's either him inside the helmet,
or it's just him kind of imposed on him.
But you don't actually...
I mean, maybe with the exception of one or two times,
but you don't actually see him donning the suit anymore.
That's one of the things you don't see.
Like, you don't get those cool action sequences
when he's standing there and the suit's bonding to him
and then he flies off into the sky.
Wait, that hasn't happened
that hasn't happened since iron man one maybe iron man two you haven't seen the beginning it
happened do what you haven't seen the suit form on him i feel like that happens every show and
it gets cooler each time no i mean not not that i know of you're probably right i mean well who am
i i mean there's there's there's there might be like a couple instances where that happens but
it's not nearly as prominent as it used to be is what i mean and so with with like
with robert downey jr like he'll basically just start what you'll see from him i think is more
what you saw in spider-man homecoming where like he occasionally pops up and then like there's
whatever else is going on um and and and from there like it kind of depends because they could
do like avengers disassembled basically, where some circumstances happen and Stark Industries' value plummets
and Tony Stark can't afford to fund the Avengers anymore, so they end up disbanding.
But you could do any number of things with those.
But I see Captain America being the same way.
Honestly, I see Avengers 4 using some kind of measure of time travel.
Captain America ends up back in the 1940s.
And instead of going to fight the Red Skull,
or however it is that it transpires,
he survives crashing into the Arctic,
and he goes back to Peggy Carter and lives out his life.
He becomes president.
Yeah, because he became president of the comics at one point.
In the Ultimate Universe, he was president.
Yeah, there was some story where the Avengers,
I don't remember the exact circumstances,
but the core group gets sucked into a portal or portal or something into another dimension and they're gone and but captain but uh tony stark has like this
but avengers 2.0 initiative like where beacons go off and like call it's like spider-man and
wolverine and uh a handful of other characters and they have to come and be like the backup
avengers to get the original avengers like out of that portal that they've been sucked into back to earth hmm I need to look that story up that
sounds I think it was um I saw it in like the animated Avengers series that was on Netflix
I don't know if you've ever seen that I never watched that well I think I saw one episode
and like that was it but I didn't really see any others I liked it uh it wasn't it wasn't nearly
as good as like the Animated Series
or the X-Men cartoons.
But it was pretty good.
You get to see a lot of characters that
if you don't read comics, you're just completely unfamiliar with.
I was.
I liked it.
Batman was my favorite. The reason I crack my knuckles to this
day is that Batman
would crack his fucking knuckles before he went to
Buffy.
It is consistently ranked as like the best comic book adaptation for a show ever like like the best animated show ever and it is dude like mark hamill's joker i still say he's the best
version of the joker it is it is yeah yeah the laugh is great i i love it it's so good it's so good the killing joke uh animated i watch all
the movies too like like all of that like like i don't i don't distinguish between the shitty ones
and the good ones i just i'll just watch them all we'll we'll we'll let them fall where they may
uh i really like the killing joke uh that that was fucking dark as shit even the animated version
i also read the the book um but but like all of
those d the dc moot the dc animated movies are so much better than any of the dc live action shit
no i don't understand why they don't invest in the animated side like i don't get that dude the
dark knight returns parts one and two was amazing that might be my that's those are my favorite two
those are my favorite two um he when he when he uses brazilian jiu-jitsu on the head of the mutant gang
that's overwhelming Gotham or whatever,
and he's like, you don't understand.
This is an operating table, and I'm the surgeon.
And he arm bars and breaks his fucking arm,
knee bars and breaks his fucking arm.
By the time it's over, I don't think he's got a limb that works anymore.
And then he stands up and looks at the rest of the gang and they're like
and they're just
Batman just literally broke the
biggest and baddest of us into four pieces
there. And then they joined
Batman. Great story.
Great story. Yeah, I mean like the Joker breaks his
own neck in that story. Like it's
crazy. But yeah, no, I mean
the animated movies are so much better.
How are you going to beat me, Batman, if you can't cause me pain and I'm paralyzed?
You also can't kill me.
Riddle me that.
Or is that a different character?
I don't know.
As soon as you start to riddle me.
Oh, yeah, the Riddler.
That is a different character.
It's all good man
it's better that way
and I preferred the animated version of Batman
versus Superman like that whole story
like the idea that like
I want to say Nixon was like pulling the strings
of Superman or something like
was it Nixon or Reagan in that story
like having Superman fight the fucking Soviets
on an island somewhere
well if you could just go over there and take care of him i'd be appreciative are you talking about red sun yeah it's the one
where it at the end of it like it's batman batman fight uh versus uh superman and you know he they
the the full you know the the um is it green arrow or whoever shoots the kryptonite arrow
and he like catches it it goes poofof and hits him with the Kryptonite dust
and then Batman stands over him and has the heart attack.
Oh, you've had us watch that clip.
Yeah.
I think that's from Dark Knight Returns.
You're right.
Yeah, I like those animated movies too.
Yeah, they're fucking great.
There's this ridiculous scene where like,
I want to say Superman has a bald eagle on his arm
or something like that yeah that is that is a um that's a tribute to not kurt swan um
back in the in the late 30s no i'm sorry late 40s after siegel and schuster had basically left
there were a handful of artists that came on. And that's like an iconic image of Superman
where it's got Superman standing there
with his arm like this.
You've got the eagle on it.
Then it's got like the logo behind him
or whatever it is.
Yeah.
Yeah, that's what that's a tribute to.
Yeah, there's one scene in that
where Superman literally,
there's like some sort of
United States versus Soviet like standoff
on some disputed island somewhere.
And finally it goes hot.
And there's a huge formation of Soviet tanks rolling across the landscape.
And Superman flies down.
And he lasers the turret off one tank, grabs the turret by the barrel, smashes another tank, and just takes out 50 tanks single-handedly like it's nothing.
And you're like, yeah, it's kind of nice to have a Superman on your team.
That kind of solves this whole World War III scenario.
Watchmen had that too.
I think it was the United States and U.S.
I'm sorry, the United States and Russia, same thing.
And the president is like, you know, we've got Dr. Manhattan.
We're fine.
Yeah, the walking nuclear deterrent.
Yeah.
With his penis dangling out for the world to see.
Oh, so big.
I like the movie so much better.
Yeah, Watchmen's fucking cool.
I love the...
I saw people dogging that movie, saying it wasn't good.
A lot of people don't like it.
All right, here's the thing.
Zack Snyder made a dark fucking movie is what's wrong with it.
I thought it was entertaining.
The Watchmen comic book fans hate the Watchmen movie.
Like they despise the Watchmen movie.
And I never fully understood why because one of the things that I had to learn to do,
because I remember as a comic book reader, reading comics forever and ever and ever,
when they released X-Men, I was like, oh, yes, we get to see X-Men.
So basically it's going to be like the first arc by Stanley and Jack Kirby.
And it's like anything but that.
And I'm like, okay, this is not what I was expecting.
But I had to learn to kind of like detach myself from the movies insofar as I'm going to see a direct comic book adaptation.
the Watchmen, because it's such a philosophical story, because there's been like, like thesis and like essays and all kinds of literary works that have been done, like analyzing this movie over
and or analyzing the comic over and over and over again, the political themes and all the allegories
and metaphors and so on, that people have dumped a lot more time and effort into that story than
they would with like Spider-Man or like Superman or Batman. And so when you, when you take people
who have kind of made that story part and parcel of their identity and then you drop that movie out there and the movie is in a
lot of ways starkly different from the story then it pisses people off because the story itself
focused on essentially like utilitarianism right like the needs of the many outweigh the needs of
the few so like we're going to obliterate i'm not you know at least in the comic it was releasing a
giant alien slug you know thing but in the in the movie it's like we're basically going to like annihilate uh like a whole
bunch of yeah like a whole bunch of huge cities new york and a handful of others and like you
know millions of people are going to die but like the world will have peace forever so like countless
billions now and in the future will never know war they only know peace so like small price to
pay like it was a lot of things like that
that went into the actual story itself.
Yeah, weird.
I was going to say,
I didn't work with Hiroshima and Nagasaki.
Well, it's a different scenario, right?
Yeah, it led to the Japanese economic miracle.
And Die Hard.
It would have worked if...
What was the other city, Hiroshima and...
Nagasaki.
Hiroshima and Nagasaki. It would have worked if... What What was the other city, Hiroshima and Nagasaki?
It would have worked if... The plaza in Die Hard.
Nakatomi Plaza.
Nakatomi.
It would have worked if what had happened was that
a third party
had simultaneously
New York, D.C., Moscow,
and Tokyo
in the middle of World War II
because that's the scenario that we got in Watchmen,
so that the Soviets and the Americans are like,
whoa, I know we got our problems with one another,
but somebody just destroyed us both.
We got to get together on this one
and time out all that communism, democracy.
Let's just worry about aliens blowing up our key cities
for a while and band together on this one.
It's what I've always said in the real world.
We need green people
to hate, and suddenly it wouldn't
matter about black, white,
yellow, and brown. If there's some green
motherfucker that comes messing
with us, then we're all
we all have a commonality that
we're human beings, but there's some reptilian
pieces of shit coming down from Saturn
that we need to be focused on.'s some reptilian pieces of shit coming down from Saturn that we
need to be focused on.
So fuck our politics,
our,
our,
our gender identities,
um,
all of that.
They are the issue.
Did you know that conversation happened in the eighties?
Yeah.
I,
really?
Between Gorbachev and Reagan.
Gorbachev.
Yeah.
Reagan actually asked Gorbachev in real life with seriousness.
Like if we were attacked by aliens, would you come to America's defense?
And Gorbachev was like, yeah, yeah, we'd band together in a situation like that.
Yeah.
Save the Earth.
Of course.
Yeah.
No, I mean, that's the problem you have with that, though, is you're basically dealing with like loose affiliations because i mean you know maybe it might be a little cynical to say this but you could imagine like some alien race like whether by visiting for benign reasons or by being like
belligerent but whatever the case is they visit earth humanity freaks out destroys them so like
we band together for a short period of time then what it turns into is a great gold rush to like
reverse engineer their weapons and technology and so then you have like countries you know going
back to the way they were before.
But I don't know.
You would hope something like that,
some external factor, would lead to
a commonality among nations
and countries.
It certainly would.
What it would do is it would
open things up. That was the basis behind the 1950s.
What was that? They remade it with
Keanu Reeves. Oh, the last... It was the 1950s. What was that? They remade it with Keanu Reeves.
Oh, the last...
It was the Alien movie.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
The Matrix.
The Day the World Stood Still.
The Day the World Stood Still, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, you take that one.
And in the original version and in the new version,
what it did is it established that Earth was just one planet
and this huge affiliated network of sentient races or sentient beings that exist
out there and like it opened everything up but it's like you're not ready for this kind of
technology because you guys are just primitive and violent so we're going to cut you off until
we feel like you're ready um but like it's good was it good uh well the original was good the one
with keanu reeves was okay i mean it wasn it wasn't terrible, but it wasn't great.
I mean, it's worth a watch.
There aren't enough good sci-fi movies.
There really aren't.
I've been in a sci-fi kick recently, and I've been trying to find stuff.
Have you both seen Pandora?
I've seen Pandora.
Or Pandorum.
Oh, Pandorum is good.
Whenever someone says what you just said,
when they're like, ah, there's not enough good sci-fi,
I'm like, have you seen Pandorum with Ben Foster?
They're like, no.
Oh my God, the twist ending.
Pandorum is the one where they're,
it's a space horror movie.
They maybe wake up and find themselves in deep water.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
Pandorum is like the psychosis.
Dude, that story they told, it's still haunting.
When they're like, there was this ship that went out
and the captain freaked out and jettisoned everybody's pods out in a deep
space.
And they just died in their pods after how many years.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Horizon of course is,
is another one of my favorites.
That's just space horror.
That movie scared the shit out of me when I was a kid.
So what was the movie?
What I tried to watch like just the other night is I was watching a project
Atlas.
Is that it?
Project. Is that the Tom Hanks movie? Something Atlas. Oh, cloud Atlas watching Project Atlas. Is that it? Project?
Is that the Tom Hanks movie?
Something Atlas.
Oh.
Cloud Atlas.
Cloud Atlas.
I was watching Cloud Atlas.
Dude, that was so long.
It's just a series of vignettes that are loosely connected
in different time periods with Tom Hanks.
And I got 30 minutes in, and I was just like...
Or I got an amount of time in.
I'm like, this isn't very good so far. I'll give it a little more. And I got amount of time in I'm like this this isn't
very good so far I'll give it a little more
and I just I got to a point like this is fucking stupid
I don't care because like when he's playing
the old timey version
of him his like talking is like
wife come
no eat bad fish
you make sick
no no no yum no yum
like literally shit like that in the No yum. It's literally like that.
It's literally like that.
He's just taking out all the important words
and being like,
Stripe cat tiger.
No.
Just stupid shit. I'm like, this is fucking dumb.
So I hit back on Netflix just to see
how far I was into it.
That movie is three hours long. And I am not going back to watch it.
That movie fucking sucked and the reviews were wrong.
It was boring as shit and it's not cause I didn't get it.
I get it.
It's just shitty.
So no.
Do you guys see the passenger?
It had Chris Pratt and Jennifer Lawrence passengers.
I thought about it,
but dude, so I saw the reviews for it and I just, it kind of turned me off Jennifer Lawrence. Passengers. No, I thought about it, but I saw the reviews for it, and it kind of turned me off to it.
Passengers, in my opinion, is a good movie, right?
You know, it's not great.
It's not the kind of thing you talk about a couple years later, but it was a good movie.
I enjoyed my time in it.
And then it might be Nerdwriter on YouTube, but someone on YouTube suggested a rewrite of it, which made it amazing. And
basically what happens in Passengers is you follow Chris Pratt's character as he wakes up,
and then he's all alone. He maybe starts going a little crazy because he's so alone. Then he
wakes up Jennifer Lawrence's character, falls in love, but he's lying to her about the circumstances
that woke her up. And they're going to travel for so long, it's basically murder to wake someone up because like you're just going to
spend the rest of your time with no human interaction except him.
He decided to do that to her where she would have otherwise woken up with the
rest of the thousands of people on the ship and enjoyed the community and the
life that she had intended.
If they had started the movie with her being woken up and not knowing like the
circumstances and him lying to her and her slowly figuring out what happened,
it would have been amazing.
I wish everyone could see this.
I never watched the movie,
but literally from the trailer,
I figured out everything you just said.
And so I just refused to watch it.
Like,
like just from the trailer,
I knew the plot of the movie and that he was going to wake her up.
I've watch many worse
movies than than passengers and i also don't like that they they cast those two like like just right
at the peak of their stardom like i don't know something about that turned me off i wasn't into
it i hear you i think that's part of why i watched it so like it worked on me but it was maybe a
waste of their star power it was good uh district nine is one of my favorite
sci-fi oh my god dude yes that's another one that's another one's a bit of an allegory that's
peter jackson that's uh that's neil blomkamp isn't it yeah well which one was peter jack uh
whatever it doesn't fucking matter he was supposedly he was like a protege of peter
jackson i think or something like that yeah that's what i meant to say then that's the one that's the one he may have been um so who was it they originally were going to
have make the halo movie it may have been peter jackson making the halo was originally peter
jackson i think that's the connection that you're that you're maybe making there because
most of the sci-fi props used in district 9 are halo movie props that got repurposed for that when the Halo movie fell apart.
I saw District 9
and thought that the
videography and effects and stuff were
amazing. And then later I
learned that it was done on a real shoestring
budget and the effects were
not that amazing. And I thought back
and I'm like, huh.
Yeah, they really tricked me into thinking they were great.
I thought they were. I thought they were the movie was it was a great film like it's but they were able
to do it kind of cheap and like but I somehow the fact that they didn't have an infinity war budget
just escaped me and I thought it was wonderful yeah it was something about the color palettes
that they used were particularly generous to CGI I remember I remember watching a video explaining that that they they
There was a purposeful thing to make things have us have its own little look to it
Children of men it like like only there's a lot of kinds of sci-fi
But like children of men is another sort of dystopian future where the middle word of men children of men
It's a it's a climb. Oh my god. Have you never seen children of men?'s a it's a clive oh my god have you never seen children of men what are you
you should it's a good it's really entertaining it's real good it's in the future uh mankind has
stopped being able to procreate and no one knows why and uh it's it's very dystopian because
there's a guy out there who's literally the youngest person in the world and he's a super
celebrity because of it you know he. He's the last baby born.
And it's pretty dark.
It feels a little bit like V for Vendetta in some ways,
like sort of the society that they live in, I guess,
and how it's kind of downtrodden.
But it's not that in any sort of way.
V for Vendetta is another one.
Is this the one where a baby is born,
and they try to protect it and take it somewhere?
V for Vendetta took me out of it when he did his uh very vivacious
like monologues i love it it was like i don't know i thought that was a little silly but overall it
was a good movie one that i watched uh recently that i probably my favorite sci-fi movie if you
can put it as sci-fi all the time, is The Thing.
And The Thing
is so fucking good. Kyle, you pointed
something out to me that I never noticed when I watched it.
I watched it again a couple months ago with that in mind.
And this movie came out in like the fucking 70s,
so this isn't a spoiler. I was going to say, please tell me
it's the original. Yeah, yeah, the original
one. And like at the very end
when they're sitting there in kind of the burnt out
husk of some vehicle, and he's's sitting down and then the other guy sits down and he reaches and he takes
that bottle that was full of gasoline and he takes a big refreshing swig and then it goes to the
other guy's face and like then the movie ends kurt russell's like oh that's so fucking good
like like you enjoying that you enjoying your beer yeah that
beer that's full of gasoline okay i know you're not a fucking human being all right take care of
this in just a minute here and it's like and then it ends with that amazing like tech like like
techno music like like like oh it's so good i love that whole movie it's fantastic i love practical
effects oh it's great like great. It's genuinely scary.
The sci-fi is good.
It doesn't feel hokey at any time.
There's some hokey stuff.
When the guy's torso opens up
and it takes the guy's arms
and bites him off
and he's just like,
and everybody's freaked out
because the guy no longer has arms,
but they also got to focus on the fact
that a human body just opened up
like a Venus flytrap and ate
a man's arms, and now wiggly things
are sprouting from it and going everywhere.
Yeah, it's the environment that
made that movie so good, because you didn't know
who was the thing, and who
was human. So you felt like Kurt Russell.
Did you guys ever see Arrival?
Of course. I did see Arrival.
Oh, the one with the speech, the linguist
or something, right? Yeah, yeah.
See, that to me, I did not know what to expect.
I didn't even see it in theaters.
I didn't see it until a few months after.
And I feel like that's a movie that I should have gone to see in theaters
because the soundtrack and everything was amazing for that film.
I like that actress a lot too.
There's like three redheaded, attractive actresses
that I can't tell apart from one another from movie to movie. I just have to Google them
every time, but that's one of the ones
I like.
I liked Minority Report,
but I liked the spin-off one
where it's about a
second-generation Asian immigrant child
trying to not disappoint his parents with his book of books.
If I get anything
less than an A+, I'm going to be in my room
all summer.
And that's what it is. That's the whole
movie.
Just him cramming for his midterm.
Tom Cruise is an incredible
actor. That's an overlooked
movie because of Tom Cruise.
Crazy.
It's a crazy premise for a
movie like there's that part where he thinks that so tom cruise's character is a part of like a
police agency that that employs these three uh sort of um um what's the word i'm looking for
psychic yeah clairvoyant beings human beings who can uh pre-predict crimes they see the crime happening
before it happens and their thoughts are sort of printed out onto a computer screen to be like
holy shit fourth and main billy davidson's about to kill his secretary because she's been embezzling
money and they rush in right before he can do it and arrest him for murder because he was gonna do
it and so tom cruise's character his son was kidnapped
and he never he never saw me he's like it's like john walsh right like when he was when his his
like eight-year-old son when uh was kidnapped like a decade before and he never found him ever and so
that's part of his character's psyche and uh they sort of manipulate him into thinking that this is the guy who did it and the
guy's admitting to it and he's like yeah i i was gentle with him i was gentle with him he didn't
feel anything i did this and that and then i put him in a barrel and i sealed the barrel and i
floated it out into the water and it sank he didn't feel anything and the crazy that comes over tom
cruise's eyes as he's as he's about to murder this man. It's top-notch acting.
It's good shit.
That's a good movie.
Good sci-fi.
Yeah.
And I saw it a long time ago.
I don't remember the details.
Yeah, like, from what I remember, yeah, it was amazing.
You know what movie surprised me?
A Quiet Place.
I liked it.
I like John Krasinski a lot, so I was rooting for him.
I wanted John Krasinski to do well, and I felt like he did.
Taylor and I agree on this one plot point, though.
The movie loses almost a solid...
It goes from an A-plus to an A-minus
when they show the creature so quickly, so soon into the film.
You think so?
The little boy gets eaten right there on that bridge.
If they had just cut out the part where you see
this crazy arachnid type thing
swoop in and get him,
if it had just been Krasinski's face
filled with horror
and terror and pain
and just sound,
just the sound of the thing, would have
been enough. And him not being able to cry out.
Him just being like,
that would have been enough and him not being able to cry out you know him just being like oh yeah that would have been that would and so then you'd be like what the fuck got little timmy they're not even gonna show us what got little timmy that's that's the thing like i feel
like it it ran by the bridge so fast you didn't really get a good look at it and so like yeah it
was it was enough to show you that it was that it was super fast having said that the speed at which
krasinski was running and like because because what was super fast. Having said that, the speed at which Krasinski was running,
and like, because what I loved was,
dude, I love the way that plays out,
because he's sprinting his ass off down the bridge,
and he gets there right as the creature grabs his son,
like he has to stop, you know,
and like, so he doesn't get caught.
And I was like, like, if they, yeah,
if they had a way to show that,
but never actually show the creature,
then I could go with you on that.
Like, I could say, okay.
If they had done that, and all, or like, that, or they could have had Krasinski reach out,
and all he gets is the shirt off the kid's back or something,
and he's just left clutching the coat because the kid's ripped away so quickly.
A little something like that.
That, and I wish that in the scene at the end where to save his children,
he yells and the thing comes after him.
I wish he'd put up a bit of a fight.
Like, I get that these are supposed to be, like,
way more powerful than a human being,
but he's protecting his kids.
Give him a fucking axe or something,
and let him put up a bit of a fight, you know?
Right?
Maybe if you really want to pay an homage to aliens,
have him have constructed some sort of a mech suit
get away from them you son of a bitch
he comes out he's just got like piston arms or something like that
but i could believe more of a home alone scenario where
he has like booby traps set up and things swinging
down everywhere legos and paint cans well does he know i've heated up the doorknob i'm all alone and
i'm scared better get me before i call the cops and then it it just shows the slipped alien and then a tarantula crawling on his face.
Ah!
He gets him.
Oh, those movies are so
fucking good. Or the first one is so
fucking good. And Lost in New York.
I love the second one.
The third one was...
The second one's not great. The premise is
insanely retarded if you start breaking it down.
There's that part where the homeless lady takes him inside the symphony orchestra.
How the fuck are they getting in there?
You're telling me there's an open roof access to the symphony orchestra that hobos can just sneak on into and watch the show?
How does Rain and Snow not get in there?
I don't believe it.
It's freezing outside.
They're looking for someplace warm.
I guarantee you they've got to wait in every building in that town.
I'll tell you what's funny, though.
Gotta wait every building in that. I'll tell you what's funny though There's a scene where where joe pesci and marv who's like, I don't know the character actor's name
Are down on the street in new york and like hey little kid
Just throw down the polaroid and we'll be on our way
And he looks back at marv. He's like
He's like you promise
You cross my heart
and hope to die.
He's like, he's gonna believe this shit.
And meanwhile, over his head you see
fucking Kevin McCasper cocking a big
solid brick back.
And Joe Pesci turns around
and he's like, ah!
And it hits Marvel right in the fucking head
and leaves like a V where it hit him
with a corner. And he's on the ground
like,
Hey!
Don't you throw another brick! You missed
me anyway! And he's like cocking another
and he throws it.
Hits Marv again.
That's funny.
He's like, you all out of bricks? He's like,
I'm all out of bricks. He's like, alright, he's out of bricks,
Marv. Get up! Come on. And like, from Marv's point of view all blurry over joe pesci's shoulder you see
him cocking another another brick back but marv can't form words he's like what get up get up and
he turns around just in time to see another one dodges it and marv eats a third fucking brick
it's that's That's funny as
shit. The part of that movie
that genuinely fucking
spooked me as a kid is when
Kevin McAllister rigs
that dishwasher or that sink or whatever.
That's so that when
Marv goes to fuck with it,
he starts getting shocked.
And then the part of that that scared, I would
turn away as a kid because this scared me so much.
He would be like...
And then he turns into a skeleton.
And he turns back.
That scared the fucking shit out of me as a little kid.
And sociopathic Kevin McAllister.
It's an arc welder.
It's an arc welder connected to the sink.
This little sociopath is cranking the amperage up as he watches Marv fry.
That kid was violent.
He attached a nail gun.
Oh, he did attach a nail gun to something.
Yeah, he goes to open it and just gets like
pelted with nails. And I'm like, any one of the
things that this kid's done could get a person
killed. Oh yeah.
This is insane. Those paint cans might
kill you. There was a lot
of attempted murder from
kevin mccallister there really was i don't know if stay on your ground counts in new york uh he
could have gotten a lot of trouble chicago he's probably okay speaking of home alone i saw some
gif on on the yeah on reddit reddit or twitter today where it was like a guy cleaning out a
meth house like an old meth house and he was using a stick at first to like hit the stairs,
like the upward stairs,
just like hitting them.
And then out of nowhere,
a giant pendulum with a knife,
like a big ass knife with it just goes.
And it's like,
and he like walks up there to show like where it would be.
And it's like right at neck height,
like walking up these stairs.
If you got it,
it would just puncture straight through your fucking throat or your chest it was like a spike
or something that kind of yeah it's some kind of spike or yeah it i was like god these fucking
meth heads are crafty did you figure out how it was triggered i saw you that was it the handrail
i couldn't tell he was just smacking the stairs and i don't i have no idea how he triggered it
but that was that would have been a more macabre home alone.
If my home was booby-trapped,
one of my family members would get hurt.
I don't need spikes dropping down the stairs.
Saying people don't booby-trap their homes.
My base in Rust is booby-trapped.
We've never gotten a bad guy.
It's only us.
It's only us. That reminds me have you guys there's i'm trying
to find the details of it there was a guy there was a guy who like distrusted his family or
something like that and it ended up being like he died or something on those lines like they were
going through his house whatever it was but there were these shotgun booby traps everywhere and it
was like they would they would go to like move a book or something like that like a shotgun would go off and it was i can't god i can't what it is but it's like the
most insane thing um yeah like man booby traps shotgun it was it was it was bonkers because
like he hated his family that it was insane yeah uh belgian prisoner killed by his own booby trap.
Googling booby traps seems to show that you're right.
It's not a good idea to put them in your own home.
It goes wrong more than it goes right.
Booby trapped wheelchair kills an FBI agent.
What?
Home alone, let us roam.
Let us astray.
Yeah.
Everybody thought they would be coming to town.
It would have been funnier.
Think of it like if it's home alone. If it was sort of Marv and them, it's two police yeah everybody thought it would have been funnier think of like if it's home alone if
it was sort of marv and them it's two police officers who are like we're just trying to get
you home kevin he's like fuck you does the same shit kills all of the nypd or the chicago pd
what have you anyway yeah it was a Belgian guy rob do you, aside from you clearly have an encyclopedic knowledge of a lot of different kinds of movies, not just comic book stuff.
What do you like to do when you're not doing comic book content or boning up on films?
I mean, photography, really.
Like, I got into photography recently.
Yeah, like, it's kind of weird to me because... Okay, so YouTube. So you
guys know how YouTube works, right? You launch a YouTube channel and then you just slave away.
For free. For years.
Yeah, for years. It was, what was it? A year and a half, two years, or 17 hour days until it
finally blew up and I could start hiring people to make my life easier. So I was like, okay, cool.
So once that was done, then I was like, okay, I i need other hobbies and so i started getting into photography started watching other youtube
videos on on how to get into it how to how to do all that good stuff shooting angles but like i
live in uh in denver so like i just go around the general area to like a lot of the nature sites
and just do like a whole bunch of picture shoots whenever i go to uh comic book conventions i'll
you know get a whole bunch of local shots um trying to figure out videography you know all
that kind of stuff.
Like,
yeah,
it's just,
it's,
it's general things.
Like I'll mess around in Photoshop,
just small little things here and there.
Nothing too major.
I get into that same sort of thing.
Uh,
like during my peak,
my channel is doing great.
I'm loving it.
It's a dream.
It's a lot of people's versions of a dream job,
including mine when I started.
But once you get it for a while,
you're like,
Oh, this is actually real work. You know, like it turns out sitting in a dark room with the shade down trying to get gameplay like all day long is uh it stops being fun
that's why all you need is one gameplay my friend so i wanted to be devin super tramp like
he had my version of a perfect channel it It was basically to look at the videos,
it was just like
good-looking people dancing and doing
extreme shit all the time.
It looked like a dream
gig. And it turns out it's actually a lot
of work and they travel.
A big part of Devin Supertramp's job was
just setting up all the people
and equipment
and things to get in the right spot at the right time.
But yeah, videography gets attractive. It is like, that's, that's one of the things a lot
of people don't realize about you is, is people look at YouTube from the outside and they say,
person, and I want to make like YouTube videos for a living, but then you, you sit down and you
say, okay, so like what you see is the end product. So like, let me show you all the stuff on the back end.
One, you're gonna be slaving away on this channel
with no guarantee you're even gonna find any success at all.
And if you do find success,
like you can't screw around with it
because you're gonna have to make the choice
between doing it for fun or doing it as a job.
If you want it to grow, you gotta treat it like a job.
If you don't care, then just do it for fun.
And then whatever happens, happens.
But like, if you're supporting a family or if you're like planning your financial future, or you're trying to like
solidify yourself. So like you never have to go back and work a full-time job again,
you've got to treat it like a job. And then, and that's, that's why like, it's crazy. Cause when
I started Comics Explained, I jumped on Twitter and I had a teen enters actually, and never
actually expected a response. But I said like, I started a YouTube channel, like how do I grow?
And he said like network and make friends.
And so I was like,
okay.
So then like,
that's how I met comic story and was hitting him up.
And then the two of us started growing our channels together.
But like,
as I goes on,
like if you're,
if you don't really do what you dig and you're just kind of chasing cash on
YouTube,
like you're going to get burned out and you're going to quit.
Like inevitably you're,
you're,
you're going to quit.
You're going to do it for like two years.
You're going to hate it. And then you're just going to give up on it.
One of the things that Wings was always salty
about back in the day is Sea Nanners wouldn't collab
with them because they were the original
they were the only
Call of Duty 5 commentators in existence.
Everybody else went back to Call of Duty 4
and then after that they
skipped COD 5 and went to Modern Warfare 2.
It was just Wings and Sea Nanners.
Wings was like, ah, a comrade in arms.
And Sea Nanners was like, no.
No.
He always declined his advances.
He always declined his advances, unfortunately.
And there was a time when they were of comparable sizes.
Like, it would have been not a totally asymmetric.
Maybe when W wings was an infant
jesus christ i meant uh their channels were of comparable sizes and uh it wouldn't have been
that asymmetric like a relationship yeah you remember when you was about 145 pounds wings
first grade pretty small guy yeah we've got a collage of wings of redemptions on our on our base as well
like instead of just doing one portrait of him they did like a six portrait collage of him and
all his most famous poses the one where he's got four fingers in his mouth licking them all
um the one where i don't know how he you, if you pose in a certain way, it allows the photograph to be manipulated by inserting a phallic object in a suggestive way.
So, for example, if there was a video of you eating a hot dog.
Okay.
I could pause that video and I could change the hot dog with an enormous black penis.
Or you could go the other way.
You could suck an enormous black penis and make it look like you're eating a hot dog.
On video, apparently.
So there's a, you know, if you just Google Wings of Redemption blacked.
Oh, God.
Hang in there.
Oh, Jesus Christ.
I am not Googling Wings of Redemption blacked.
Let me make sure that that's going to get it for you.
I'm going to, let's say, Wings of Redemption blacked.
Yeah, you do the footwork on this one.
Right on it, buddy.
Dude, not only, it auto, I, Wings of Redemption Blacked. Yeah, you do the footwork on this one. Right on it, buddy. Dude, not only it auto... I went Wings of Redemption
BLA and Google's like,
Blacked?
Oh, god damn it. I'm not... But I'm not getting the
image. That might need to be this. That's okay. I've got
foot soldiers for this. Give us some fucking
mean-spirited murals on here.
Hang on, look at this.
Let's time this. I'm going to type the question
to my friends. Does anyone have the wings blacked photo
need it for pka yeah we need it
i do you don't want a little chuckle um so that's on there and Gangster Grandma's on there Gangster Grandma in all her glory is
right on the front door
like I said earlier we downloaded this program
that allows you to use this Microsoft Paint
interface that is all that Rust allows you to
create photorealistic
images by uploading to that
to the tool and letting it paint for you
over the course of many hours
it's been, Rust has been fun
like we always find new
ways to enjoy ourselves in there.
I'll get that photo to you soon.
Oh, it's time for an ad, Taylor reminds me.
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dude.
That's cool.
A lot of star power.
Yeah.
Like,
so I'm not really in with any of the rooster teeth people.
Like,
I don't know them.
They don't,
they don't probably don't know me.
But I think it's neat when someone goes from YouTube and makes it big.
Oh, God.
There's the Rooster Teeth.
However long that took, that's how long it took for me asking the question to someone,
clickety-clack, uploading the photo for me.
All right.
Well, you can't put that on screen. You can't put that on screen.
You can't put it on screen, but it looks like...
What is he doing in this picture?
Are you serious?
Well, I mean, I can see what he's doing in this picture.
What was he doing in the original picture?
Maybe yawning.
Okay, yeah.
And I think he's actually much thinner now
than he is in that picture.
That is not a flattering Wings picture.
No, he's lost a lot of weight he is in that picture. That is not a flattering wings picture. No,
he's lost a lot of weight.
Yeah.
Since then.
That's a big deal.
He's equal to the task.
That's a lot to take in.
I will say that.
I like to imagine,
like we're thinking that wings is being mouth fucked.
I like to imagine that instead the black man is the,
is the one who's really the victim here.
And he's just being consumed dick first.
And he's just going,
please no.
Wings,
I don't mean to tell you how to,
how to run your business,
but I believe if you stuck your tongue out,
you could lick that guy's balls.
I'm just saying.
I don't want to tell you how to do it but try it I was uh I was
looking around at news stories today for stuff to shoot about and there's this
story of a guy in Des Moines who apparently has a huge problem with how
cavalier people are with bomb threats where you know like you know when you
hear like a bomb threat was called into this building your immediate reaction or at least mine is like yeah i bet i bet there actually
is see it's some kid who doesn't want to take a test or some some bullshit like that is what you
assume this guy is so sick of that that this des moines man went into like a fucking uh panera bread
or some shit with items and then just started constructing a bomb in the middle
of the restaurant like a functional bomb until it was ready to explode and then called the police
on himself to be like see look how easy it would have been to kill everyone in this restaurant
i built a bomb to prove a point what do you mean you're handcuffing me no i did this to prove a
point and he he built a functional bomb.
They detonated it and it worked.
Of shit that he built in a restaurant.
I was thinking this is going to start a series of copycat crimes.
Where it's like every guy who gets caught by Chris Hansen now is like,
Ah, I was testing you by raping this kid.
For every kid I molest, your knowledge of that prevents 10 more molestations
the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the benevolent kitty toucher benevolent kitty toucher
and that's what i think we're on the brink of this guy is so stupid this guy's so stupid i saw a cops
episode where the lady calls the cops they show up and she's like You see that house right there like yeah, they're on the sidewalk. You see that house right there. Yeah, I
Just tried to buy crack cocaine from that man
Here it is
He only gave me an eighth and I paid him for a quarter and they're like wow
Like well that is that is poor business man. What can I have that crack cocaine? Yep, thank you, thank you.
But then the evidence back.
Yeah, come with us.
Come with us.
All right.
What are you arresting me for?
He's the shady businessman.
Corporate America wins again.
I called the Better Business Bureau.
They did nothing to help me.
I saw another one where the lady's like just so you know i just
bought methamphetamine from that house over there here it is here it is and they're like yeah you
committed a felony you just bought methamphetamine she's like yeah but i bought it so that you'd know
doesn't matter dude i another thing that happens is people be like ah i'm filing a police report
someone broke into my house and stole
all my cocaine. So
please hunt that down and get it back.
Well, that's not a crime.
I don't understand how people would be so
wrong. It's not a crime.
I believe it's called possession.
If he doesn't possess it anymore, his cocaine was stolen.
Well, it's...
He's sort of admitting to possession.
They're all gone.
This is just the Woody show.
Well, let's play with this and see if my network is bad.
It is not me.
It's Discord, it would seem.
Well, I will hang up and call back.
Oh, Kyle says he's frozen.
Everybody froze.
Leave call.
Video.
Oh. And we're back. And we're back. Oh.
And we're back.
And we're back.
Yeah, I just hung up and called back.
Pay no mind to that brief intermission.
Taylor pressed the wrong button again.
How are you going to get your tech work fixed?
I'm disappointed.
My tech work?
Yeah.
I don't know, man.
Just haven't got it right.
Which tech work? I i mean you're running the
ship and and here we go again yeah that's true it's been i've been on the show for for almost
five years now and i still haven't got it together can't even count this is the problem this is who
we need someone who knows we are bothered with this fat-headed retard who can't get his shit together.
I don't know if we talked about it.
Taylor, you've got a lovely new microphone.
Look at that.
It moves like a real microphone.
Yeah, like a goddamned professional.
Yeah, yeah.
Chiz a few weeks ago was like, Taylor should have a professional microphone.
I was like, I agree.
He had one.
I agree, too.
Yeah, the Shure SM58 is good,58 this looks fancy as fuck should i leave this
yeah there's a reason why you don't use that little microphone woody i mean we all we all
chose because this one makes my voice sound deeper than it does in real life exactly we all picked a
nice studio microphone rather than the little one you know can i put the big windsock or whatever i
don't know what the fuck it's called, the thing that goes over this.
The windscreen.
The windscreen.
Should I put the big one on because it came with this one,
and then it came with the one that you guys are using?
Look, I used this one.
I don't remember why I did it.
I may have done some research to determine it was better,
or maybe it drowned out any extra noises in the room.
I'll pop the other one on for next week, and I'll see if there's a difference.
Yeah, you probably won't notice a goddamn thing.
But, yeah, I think you sound better and i'm sure
it's more comfortable for you because you can change positions and you're never gonna there's
never an instance where you're too far too close you're always just dude but i've been doing it so
long sitting like forward like this with like my back straight that like i was sitting before the
show being like wow i could sit back like this and and do
that and immediately i was like no this feels wrong i don't like it like and so i just moved
back to my my awkward ass leaning forward position i do the same forward thing i feel
like the posture keeps me engaged i agree yeah i think it helps me i feel like i get lackadaisic
if i lean back i like to i like to lean back this is how I play games. Sometimes I'm all the way back playing games.
I like being back here.
I feel like if I was up here, I'd be upset.
Sometimes when I play games, I slouch deep
and I'm down here just playing.
But then when it gets intense,
I'm back in it.
I hit the PKA position.
Yeah, those are solid.
Those are actually the industry standard microphones.
Woody's microphone is EVRE20,
I think. It is?
Yeah, and the microphones that
Kyle and Taylor have are the Shure SM7Bs.
They are?
I had them plugged.
Did you know anything about mics before YouTube?
No, I've actually gone through about five
microphones. This is the MKH416,
but I've gone through like five or six different microphones before
I finally settled on the one that you use, Woody, is actually the one that I use for
my videos.
And then this one I use whenever I'm out, you know, if I'm outside recording something
or something like that.
You have an excellent voice for narration.
Like one of the things that I really do.
So one of the things that got me into your videos,
and I hope you don't take this the wrong way.
Like I would watch the videos in my free time,
but I would watch them when I went to sleep at night.
No,
I don't take offense to that at all,
man.
People tell me because I found your voice soothing and in a certain way.
And here's the kicker.
I dream about what you talk about.
And you talk about Galactus coming to eat planets and the fantastic four
having to intervene you talk about fucking mutants and and um you know you know uh all kinds of like
fantastical stuff and i get to dream that it influences my my my dreams at night and i
remember them the next day and i'm like holy shit did i read richards last night what i like about
your voice for the content you make is it is a man's voice.
It is a grown-up's voice, and it couldn't be further away from a child's voice on the spectrum of guy voices.
So when you talk about cartoons, if you sounded like you were 10 years old, I would never watch those videos because it would make it lame.
But because you come across as like this alpha guy laying out stuff about cartoons uh it makes it more palatable for me
well i appreciate it yeah yeah it's really good that's why what uh i don't feel like any good
movies have come out lately am i missing something like like what's i haven't seen a movie in
theaters in fucking forever what's the big one that's just last recently yeah oh i was gonna
talk about i was gonna i going to talk about that earlier.
The Shyamalan superhero universe and see what you thought about that.
Now, I've seen that Glass has poor reviews.
I love Unbreakable.
I really like Split.
But I've heard that Glass has gotten very poor reviews.
It felt rushed.
It felt like either the studio went to him or he decided on himself.
He's like, okay, so Split did really well.
So, like, we have to do Glass now.
And they just kind of rushed it out now i mean granted we didn't really need
to wait like a decade and a half like we did between split and unbreakable but um but yeah
no like i felt like glass was really really rushed and the plot was really thin and did bruce willis
have a big role uh yeah but the emphasis I thought was put
more on the guy
from Split, James McAvoy and
Samuel L. Jackson.
It's like they were the main stars of the film.
But like I said, I mean, it was just too much
happening in a movie.
Too much happening?
Another shit movie,
The Happening.
The Happening is such a bad movie.
I watched that in theaters.
I paid, like if you count the snacks, the gasoline, the dinner that was included,
the whole date experience that went into The Happening,
I must have dropped $100 on The Happening.
The girl alone was $80 for that night.
Yeah.
$80, really scraping.
You get an $80, I promise you an $80 prostitute is
really scraping the bottom there
you want at least a $200
well I had to make it work Kyle you said $100
$200 for her
$100 for the date and I'm telling you
I felt cheated
first of all Mark Wahlberg
how's your mother?
not a good actor
he has a time and place.
That wasn't it.
Mark Wahlberg, like, as a science teacher.
Oh, my God.
You might as well have Will Ferrell as an astrophysicist.
I'm watching this guy, and I'm just like.
That's funny.
Like, dude, I don't think you know how basic biology works.
Like, I don't think you could.
I don't think they would let. You should be with the children learning about plants.
Like, like not.
What are you doing?
I don't believe you, Marky Mark.
You're that goofy guy.
You're that.
You're that hate crime committer who stomped that Vietnamese man while calling him a gook
and stomped him so hard he went deaf.
Never forget hearsay. That's one of the girls with hard he went deaf. Never forgets hearsay.
Dude, one of the problems with the happening.
No, it's can't hearsay.
Jesus.
One of the problems with.
The happening came out around the same time.
It was like a follow-up to signs.
And what was his other?
Lady in the Water and uh the village
i don't think that's what i'm looking for though what was his best movie signs and
six cents six cents so those were to me like the uh the level of expectations i walked into the
happening with the happening to me on a scale of one to ten was like a four like i thought it was
a below average movie but the fact that it gapped from the ten i was hoping for it too okay you know had you seen that
i don't let me let me see the the order that they came out in because because if the the village was
such a huge letdown and the uh the lady in the water was so so weird and and not my thing and i
love um the that goofy quirky guy who's in it but but neither one of them did it
for me i saw oh you're talking about um paul giamatti is in lady yeah i love paul giamatti
i saw shamalan talking about his career arc or it was a written article but i didn't realize
how low his low was like he had like three i'm making it up four bad movies in a row
and no one called him anymore no one wanted him to do movies
he was a joke he was a punchline this m night Shyamalan time magazine did a feature at the next
Steven Spielberg question mark so he started funding his own movies like he he mortgaged his
house like he the only person on earth who still had faith in him was himself and uh and
that's when he made what was his like comeback movie i thought it was split it might have been
split yeah and he just he did it all on his own so here's the time you might be right um
i want to find six cents here but i don't see it. Yeah, Sixth Sense. 1999, he has The Sixth Sense.
2000, he has Unbreakable, which isn't a huge moneymaker,
but it's critically acclaimed and has a huge cult following.
I love it.
The Village, or excuse me, Signs is 2002.
So in 2002, he's had what, in my opinion,
are three excellent films.
Then in 2004, he makes The Village.
Now The Village was marketed in a way
that made it incredibly attractive to me.
It was based in this sort of unknown time period,
but it looked colonial.
It looked like people who had just made it to America
and it looked like it was in the age
of the Salem Witch Trials, something like that.
And they were seemingly being attacked
by some sort of a supernatural creature
that was preying upon them.
And so, you know, no guns, right?
There's no way to overpower this.
You can't call the cops.
You can't lock the door because it's a fucking wooden door.
There's some sort of what looks like a werewolf stalking you.
And then you get the twist and it's
nothing like that and it's such a huge huge letdown say and then spoil it and then lady in
the water in 2006 it's a better movie it's not my style of movie but it did poorly but i don't think
it was poorly more of like an artsy kind of movie a little bit it was a fairy tale it was literally a fairy tale that he made up and told his children when they go to bed at night,
and he made it into a movie.
Then, in 2008, he makes The Happening.
And not only is it poorly cast.
Is that the one where in the trailers it was like,
everybody's falling, jumping off of buildings, and nobody knows why.
Yeah.
The trees are killing people.
It's like suicide porn.
Yeah, the trees.
And it makes no sense
and it's just real garbage.
And then came Devil in 2010.
I liked Devil
for what it was.
I really did.
I didn't think it was garbage.
I watched it. I enjoyed it.
But I didn't think that it
lived up to the legacy of
Shyamalan and what I would expect from him.
Then he did The Visit in 2015, which I honestly haven't seen.
So I won't shit on that.
I think that's when the kids go to visit the grandparents and they're all fucking weird and shit.
Oh, that was actually really, really good.
Yeah, I haven't seen it, but I've heard good things.
I didn't hear that this is garbage.
I just haven't seen it yet.
Everyone compared Bird Box to The Quiet quiet place but i thought it was happening
well the bird box was written before the quiet place was made uh at all um so so it literally
fucking sucked compared to quiet place yeah i don't like bird box bird box was like not very
good yeah i liked it more than you did yeah sandra bullock's hot though like we were talking
about this the other day when we're
playing rust like like there's this like trio of 50 plus year old jewish new yorker women who are
hot as fuck what like sandra i don't know if sandra bullock's jewish so so i don't know either
but can i guess another one go ahead you know it the one from my cousin vinny yes yes marissa
tomei then comes julian julia i was gonna do it and then um what's her name from
uh weeds oh um the one that looks like julia louise mary louise mary louise parker mary
louise parker it's it's that that trio of like 50 plus year old new york jewish women who like
have just stayed physically active and fit and just
keep ripening with age somehow.
Marissa Tomei is my favorite.
Marissa Tomei is still hot.
And she still gets topless.
It looks like Sandra Bullock
is Jewish.
Ah, yeah!
A quattro
of
New York Jews. I don't usually think of
Jewish women as aging really well.
I think of them like this.
George Costanza's mother in Seinfeld.
Is she Jewish?
George!
Yeah.
Oh, God.
His dad is the funny.
Oh, the doll that looks exactly like his mom.
Is she Jewish?
Is she still an actress?
I have no idea.
Probably.
They all are. ben stiller jewish
because if he's jewish then his dad's probably jewish yeah ben stiller is absolutely jewish
are you sure i'm a thousand percent sure okay fine he's jewish i can look it up to be sure
i can spot one a mile away taylor you're on, Judar. I've been looking at you real hard lately,
and I've been suspecting a bit of
miscegenation in your heritage.
Who, me or Taylor? Who did you just accuse?
Taylor.
Who did you just accuse?
Miscegenation in your heritage.
I demand a DNA test.
Oh.
To determine if I am, in fact,
a Jewish person.
Yes, a mongrel of a human being. In which case you are no longer welcome on
my plantation. No longer welcome
anywhere near me, sir. Speaking of
DNA tests, Snoop Dogg
because I looked him up earlier, learned something new
about him. He's like 27%
Native American Indian.
He could have went to college
and got a NITO scholarship.
Ben Stiller is not Jewish. He's uh,
Judaism is what he believes in. Oh
But see Jew
Jew to be a Jew is it there's a race of people who are Jewish and then there's a religion known as Judaism
Oh
I don't give a fuck who he worships but but he's a Jew. Oh, okay. Yeah, he's probably like... Hitler wasn't exterminating them because they had a dreidel or some shit or anything.
You know, a menorah hanging in their house.
Well, Hitler was exterminating them for a lot of reasons.
It seems like most Jewish people, or at least most of the ones I know,
don't practice seriously their religion part at all.
No.
It's more just, oh, we do the celebrations and and the culture thing and we eat the matzo ball soup
sometimes but you know I'm making our house a place of worship you might have
a different frame of reference if you were raised in New Jersey like me
because they were oh I'm sure because all most of the Jewish people I know
pretty much all the Jewish people what do you say New Jersey what he always says new jersey what he always says new jersey is infested which
he always calls it jew jersey that's it that's what he says that's what he says yeah
you know the ss officer's cap that i always regret
because what do you outbid you what do you outbid you. Woody outbid me.
Woody outbid me.
I won $1,000. Good lord.
Just Woody sitting in his
theater room with a Nazi cap on
by himself.
Watching Schindler's List jerking off.
Oh my god.
Jesus Christ. Get the little girl too.
Get the little girl in red.
Dude, that movie is so fucking sad.
I don't think I've seen it.
He's watching Sophie's Choice.
Like, both of them!
Dude, I like pretty much anything with Liam Neeson.
Even, like, Taken.
I wasn't blown away.
Or no, I saw Taken 2,
and I thought that wasn't very good.
But even that, I liked it because of Liam Neeson.
Like, he's a cool actor.
First of all, he's really good.
Except I find him unable to play the action roles now.
There's just something about the way older guys move that's not athletic anymore.
They start plodding.
Gravity has – their legs don't have the same strength.
I don't know what it is.
This happens with really pretty women that are cast as action heroes
you know so they'll like jump up a chair and kick someone and it's like oh my god like you
stepped up on that chair you didn't leap and bound like an athletic girl would
wonder woman is not an example of this she's actually athletic but a lot of really pretty
girls that are another another jew oh yeah but she's probably athletic because you have to uh you have to serve in the military in israel and so you'll have to get
military training you know i hear you but i don't think that makes every israeli woman athletic i
think she just is yeah i don't know what the training's like but um but yeah if you watched
all the other amazons in that movie or or most of them, they are Amazonian women, whatever you call them.
They just look like models pretending to be fighters, like play fighting.
They suck.
Claire, I saw you in that Amazon movie.
Was she in the Amazon movie?
Yeah, of course she was.
I never saw it, no.
Yeah.
What was that movie with Liam Neeson where he was fighting wolves?
The Grey, and it's garbage.
The Grey.
Oh, no, you're so full of shit.
Dude, that movie is amazing.
I liked The Grey.
That movie is so good.
Oh, Kyle is out of it.
Calm down for your cancerous wife flashback
and the analogy to just letting go.
No, thank you.
No, it was good.
No, it was not good.
You were wrong about Captain America.
You were right about Salt, but you're wrong about this.
I'm telling you, I watched the ad campaign that came out before the break.
God damn it.
And let me tell you, they advertised this thing like it was Liam Neeson versus a pack of wolves.
They even show the scene where he's got the broken mini bottles of vodka between his knuckles.
Which was badass.
Which was badass.
It's the last three minutes of the movie.
Okay?
It's not a wolf fighting movie.
It's a accepting your fate movie and making peace with death movie.
Kyle, it can't be a wolf fighting movie.
It's lured with flashbacks of his cancerous wife succumbing to her disease.
Give me a fucking break.
That's what made it so cool.
That's what made it so cool.
It's just like this guy, like his wife was dying,
so the guy has nothing else to live for.
So he's like, whatever, if I'm going to die,
I'm going to die fighting a fucking pack of wolves.
How much more badass does it get than that?
He didn't do any wolf fighting.
That's the problem.
See, that's my point, is that the movie didn't do any wolf fighting. That's my point.
The movie can't be a wolf fighting movie
because he's not a superhero. It's just a dude.
If it was a wolf fighting movie, the movie would be
that end of the three minutes.
Don't forget, he's only there
to kill wolves. The oil pipeline
has hired him to be
their wolf killer. But he's not
going out there with bottles in his hands
to fight him. Of course not. You break the
bottles.
Fair enough.
There's an extended scene for that
movie where after he
he's like, come on!
And he fights the alpha wolf.
It slow pans to him
leaning against the wolf's dead
body and breathing heavily.
And honestly, that kind of made it better when I saw that. I was like, alright, so he killed the wolf's dead body and like breathing heavily and i'm and like honestly that
kind of made it better when i saw that i was like all right so he killed the wolf good deal good
deal or at least they both died i'm okay with that too in the same way that the unbreakable
in my opinion must be watched into the extended version so you get to see bruce willis fucking
pump 600 up twice on bench press because that that gives you an idea of his level of power which is important
to me as a viewer it's like how strong is bruce like i get he can survive a train crash there's
a little flashback i'm sorry what movie is this unbreakable there's a little flashback where he
literally rips the door off a sedan but how strong is base level bruce willis and they show you
virtually exactly how strong he is because he benches right at 600 pounds.
Did they run out of weights?
Yeah, crazy.
That's in the standard version. They show him in his basement
with the paint cans and his normal
bench press set up
and his son sneaks the plates on.
He's like, how much was that? He's like,
250 pounds. That's the most I've ever
done. The kid's like, what else
do we have? Then they show him benching that 250 with paint cans.
Then, because he's a security guard at the college stadium,
all the college football players in the background milling around.
They're very loud and boisterous and having multiple conversations
while he slides plate after plate after plate.
Then that all goes silent and you get this theme music,
this orchestra music, this orchestra
music as he focuses
and cranks out two reps
of 600. When he sits it back down,
he sits up and looks back
at it and all the college football players are just
staring, just gobsmacked.
It's completely silent in the room.
That scene is required
for the movie. I can't believe it. I don't think I've seen it.
I've read about it. We've watched it on the show.
We have.
I remember.
I was just going to say we should look for it on YouTube.
Yeah, we've literally watched it on the show.
I need to see it again.
Good stuff.
That's the thing.
Movies are getting to be kind of a waste of money with me and my Alzheimer's.
It's not really an investment.
You lose it and it's gone.
I don't even ask people's names anymore.
What's the point?
One of those end of the movie,
like you were talking about Liam Neeson and the wolf,
like, oh, maybe he's okay.
To tie it back to one of the superhero things,
one of those I liked from one of the older X-Men movies,
I don't remember which one it was,
but it was the one where uh uh magneto
at the end of it they like steal all his magnet powers and he's playing chess with some other
fogey and he does like a like a little thing with his hand and then it shows like a little like
like a little half half maybe a movement of the chess piece and like i never watched it obviously
didn't pull me that in because I didn't follow up.
I was like,
I hope he gets his powers back because
Magneto was my favorite
character in that one. Does he get his powers
back, Magneto? I don't think he had another movie
after that.
No. That's probably not canon.
No, no, no. The last one
he was in... Magneto's lost his powers
before. The last one he was in after that, I think, was
Days of Future Past.
Yeah, and then they cut it loose.
Probably because he got too old.
Well, I know in X...
Let's see, there was...
There was X-Men 1. At the end of X-Men 1,
they put him in a plastic prison.
X-2, I think,
is when they busted him out.
I don't remember how X2 ended,
which might be the ending you're talking about.
And then X-Men 3 didn't exist.
And so then we go into Data Future Pass with Ian McKellar.
I like that scene where the one, I guess, X-Men 1,
when he's trying to escape the plastic prison
and what's-her- name Mystique karate chops her way
into the bathroom and injects a man
with like multiple
like a half gallon of
liquid metal and the guy
stands up after that and is like oh I feel
woozy. It's like
no you're dead.
Too much iron in your blood.
Either way that was fucking cool.
He draws it out of the corrupt
prison yard and
now he has a sphere of metal that he can make
into a platelet. As he walks,
it's appearing before him.
Yeah, that was super cool.
That was super cool.
When I watched that movie, I thought he had the powers I would want the most.
I thought they were so cool.
Yeah, Magneto.
Give me a crossbow and he is fucked.
A crossbow? There's metal on it.
No, there's not.
There's a plastic tip, maybe.
We won't use a metal tip.
We'll just use a book.
We'll all wear armor.
He does, actually.
I just think get that helmet, but that's just to protect him.
I can throw cars.
He's got a leather suit.
You don't even have a metal tip.
I can steal people's fillings.
That was the thing with RoboCop.
That was the thing about RoboCop.
It's like, shoot him in the mouth!
Shoot him in the mouth, you fools!
Why are you aiming at the chest
and going full AK spray?
Someone shoot him in the mouth.
I'm going to steal every copper IUD
in the world and cause the population
to skyrocket.
Then that's his plan.
That would have been fucked if he pulled a woman's IUD.
Yeah, you have to remove those carefully, Taylor.
That makes me cringe just thinking about that.
You've made a great error, Xavier.
Is that a Prince Albert?
It's like a billion pussies cried out all at once.
Do they still use copper in those?
They're plastic now, right?
There's copper and there's other kinds.
Copper is one of the most effective kinds
and one of the most chosen because
it doesn't introduce hormones into your body.
And a lot of girls get fucked
from some of those hormones.
Their personality changes and they get weird.
But apparently it also seems unpleasant.
Or even worse, they get fat.
Yeah.
Can't deal with that.
Don't even put that thought in the ether.
Fat over weird every day.
If there was male birth control, would you take it,
or would you be too afraid of side effects?
I'd be afraid of side effects.
I mean, I would let it go through.
I would let lots of other men be the guinea pigs.
Oh, for sure.
I'm going to let them storm that beach.
I like to think
that it has positive side effects like woody uh would you take would you like take testosterone
if it hurts your fertility yeah yeah that sounds like a win-win that's i'm not looking for more
kids and i want to get buff like there must be can they not do that? I mean – We need to define the side effects.
That's what I'm saying.
Yeah.
Like if it gave me powers, if they were like, you'll be able to do –
like you'll be able to lift like 1,000 pounds tomorrow if you take this.
Well, yeah.
You're stretching it a bit.
But I just – not every side effect is negative.
They're like, you lose your fertility and you remember movies.
Like, oh, here we go.
That'd be great. You lose your fertility and now remember movies. Like, oh, that'd be great.
You lose your fertility and now you can make your way to the nearest post office.
This sounds like an M. Night Shyamalan film.
Who is the girl in that picture?
That's Brandy Bullfrog.
That's Brandy, his ex-girlfriend?
Yeah, we call her Brandy Bullfrog.
Why Bullfrog? Because she's ugly we call her Brandy Bullfrog. Why Bullfrog?
I don't.
Because she's ugly and she looks like a bullfrog.
And we call his, so one of my friends' Steam name is Kenny, the initial B, Pillin.
Because Wing's brother's name is Kenny and he has a prescription pill addiction.
So he's Kenny B. Pillin'.
Jesus Christ.
And he always be pillin'.
Whenever we have a downturn,
whenever we're bored or whatever,
I'll be like, what's up, Kenny?
You pillin' hard?
And he goes, yeah, pillin' hard.
All of your bases have gone from gathering sulfur
to just like, everybody go out
and gather as much paint as possible.
We need to have an insulting
shrine to wings
on this server.
My vanity project knows no bounds.
I'm on there as literally
Emperor Napoleon and
Scarface, and then there's
wings sucking four fingers.
And Gangster Grandma's over there
as E.T. She's got E.T.'s torso and glowing finger. Where are we picking And Gangster Grandma's over there as E.T. Like she's got E.T.'s torso
and glowing finger.
Why are we picking on Gangster Grandma?
I'm going to stick up for her for a minute.
She seems like a non-participant in this thing.
You know, when you put yourself
on social media, you put yourself in a position
where people have an opinion on you. We've all accepted
this. Gangster Grandma didn't
do that. She's just trying to... Well, I'm not hitting her up on
Twitter and blasting her. Just Twitter and getting blasted. Just
here and Russ, really.
I don't think she has a
Twitter. Yeah, she does.
No way. A bunch of people fake
them. Yeah.
I may or may not have a
gangster grandma parody account.
At
gangstergrannybpillin.org
You can head on over there for all your Gangster Granny
memes. No, I
I'm not pulling any
punches.
No, you're not.
I'm not painting the paintings. I'm not even
orchestrating. They just happen.
They just happen. You're the king
in the kingdom and you're going, well, the art is just kind of
the culture of the folks around.
It literally is the culture.
I'm out, like, I don't know, chopping trees or shooting people
or sailing boats or whatever, and I come back home,
and there's Gangster Grandma ZT on the side of the base.
I like to think that if they raid your base,
they'll be so disappointed that the contents are nothing but, like,
I don't know, arrows and pictures.
There's nothing but paintings in here.
Paintings and a lot of booby traps.
A couple nights ago, this is a bit of Russ talk,
but I think people kind of like it.
A couple nights ago, we had been playing for 12 hours straight.
We had started at 7 p.m.
I finished PKM on Tuesday evening, and it was 7 p.m. like right after I finished PKN on Tuesday evening,
and it was 7 a.m.,
and we decided we were going to raid the biggest base that we knew of.
It's just a colossal structure, many exterior walls.
It's huge, gargantuan.
Like eight guys in there have been slaving away for a month.
And so four of us go out, and we decide to take this thing on,
and we start blowing the walls apart with rockets
And of course that attracts a lot of attention and these they're not online these people you're attacking
The people were raiding are not online
They're asleep, but others in the server are online and rockets are so loud that they're coming after us
They're trying to quote what's called counter rate us. They're coming to kill us and
Take advantage of the holes we blast blasted in the base, perhaps take
our explosives and continue the raid.
That way, they've invested none of the
explosive, and they reap all the benefits.
So, three of us
are just waiting for somebody to come
while one of us blows his way into the base,
and sure enough, they come.
We kill them,
they come right back ten minutes later,
and every ten minutes, they come back again,
and it's just this super high-adrenaline terror
because they keep coming back,
and if they kill us, all is lost.
But we kill them three times in a row,
and they're like, GG, guys, in the chat.
There's like an all chat.
GG, guys.
Enjoy the raid.
Like, we don't want it anymore.
And we're like, all right, victory, victory.
We blow our way all the way into this base,
and now it's time to start getting the loot home
and the loot is absurd.
We don't have room to store the loot.
Like the first thing I have to do
is build chests to put the loot in.
There's no place to put the chests in our base.
So I just cover the floor with them.
So now the floor you walk on chests,
every inch of the base is nothing but chests.
And so me and two of us me and one other guy
make boat trips back and forth to their base each time we fill our inventory with loot the
boat's inventory with loot and by loot i mean guns like like like i'm carrying 30 guns there's 30
more in the boat and then he's carrying 30 more and we're carrying back it's absurd we're stealing
hundreds of guns thousands of rounds of ammunition and hundreds of like armor plate plate sets and uh by the end of it we played for 17 and a half hours straight it took us five
hours it took us five hours to get all of their shit home and when we finally got done it was just
like all right we can go to bed with a base so full of loot
that we're the richest people in this whole fucking server.
It kind of seems like your base isn't proportionally strong enough to defend it, right?
Our base is the strongest base on the server.
It was stronger than the one you raided.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, big time.
Okay, okay.
Stay corrected.
Ours has a lot of ingenuity built into it.
It's not just built big.
It's built smart.
It would be very...
We calculated at one point, even if they knew
the most efficient way to get in, how many rockets
or C4 it would take.
They essentially
wouldn't profit from doing it.
It would take $10,000
to get it. It would take
$10,000 to get in. The dollars
doesn't matter.
Take $10,000 of fuel to get in and you only get $7,000 back. You lose $3,000 to get in the dollars aren't doesn't matter just right, you know Take ten thousand dollars of fuel to get in and you only get seven thousand back
You lose three thousand just by like attacking us and and and you may or may not even make it past all the traps
like it was we
Met a new guy and and he's got three or three thousand hours thirty five hundred hours of rust and
That's that's one of his fortes, his base building.
He's also very good at PVP.
And he's been my right-hand man in this most recent rust experience.
Oh, it's good that you have him.
I was going to say that, again, me drawing the parallels,
but sometimes you think you've got something great, and then you rediscover what great really looks like.
Yeah, and he explained that he's done that so many times,
and it was comforting to hear him say it
because in Civilization V, I always say at 100 hours, I thought I knew everything.
And then I got to 500, and I realized I knew nothing at 100.
And then at 1,000, I realized I knew nothing at 500.
And now at 1,500 or wherever I am now, or maybe 2,000, I don't know,
I realize that I've never known anything at all and that I still have more to learn if I want to be at that top 1% of Civilization players.
I'm definitely in the top 3%, but if I want to be the top 1% of Civilization players,
there's still more to go.
And this guy explained the same situation with his Rust play, and he's at 3,500 now.
And, of course, there are people with 6,000, 8,000 hours.
I talked to H June the other day,
I jumped in his stream and then Chad with him a bit.
Say his name slower.
H the letter H and then the month June.
Okay.
Uh, he's, um, he's, uh, he's like,
I've talked about it on the show before and he even like,
he watches the show a little bit or somebody linked him the clip and like he,
he put the clip of me like talking about how good he is like in a video recently kind of shouted us out
or whatever and uh he's he's like i said it then and i meant it he's like the shroud of um rust
he's very entertaining to watch uh and uh and very very good he offered to come play with us but i
feel like if he comes play with and plays with us he'll bring a lot of high-level players who might want to get after him.
And we're not that great at the person versus person combat.
And I'm not sure that I want the high level of competition that will come along with him.
Yeah, yeah.
Do you play Rust at all, Rob?
I've never played either.
No, I never played.
Honestly, I was a Call of Duty player back in the day.
But not really much of a
Rust. I mean, I played Overwatch
and dabbled a little bit here and there. I know of it.
I know Rust is hugely popular.
Never really played it. Have you kind of fallen
out of interest with video games?
Because you're just so busy doing your stuff?
Not really, man. It's just like
Call of Duty was my go-to, man.
Black Ops 1 was my breakout game. And then it all, I think, I think Call of Duty went to shit after Modern
Warfare 3. But, but yeah, no, I mean, like going back and playing those games occasionally,
that's, that's really, that's really the only game for the most part that I stick to. I mean,
like Destiny 2, I play that a little bit, but I don't know. I mean, video games are more,
not really something I lost interest in so much as i just kind of narrow down the ones that i play that makes any sense
oh totally yeah like i pretty much only play magic the gathering online or magic the gathering arena
or some any kind of rts like age of empires age mythology but i don't know. Maybe I'll get into rust. I need, I would need to get that my PC built before I can even jump on that.
So all the games I saw lately are PVE,
like player versus environment,
because it just takes a big time investment to get good enough to have fun
PVP,
at least for me,
like I don't like getting my butt kicked in video games.
So that's what would happen if I were to jump into, I but you know definitely cod if i jumped in there i'd just be
cannon fodder for good players and yeah rust is if i go back to cod i'm going back to cod 4
remastered and just play on that yeah i mean i do that now like i'll play black ops 1 on
on xbox one or something like that i mean i've got like 64 days played in that game
so like i played i played the hell out of it back in the day.
But no, I mean, that's the weird thing, man.
Like there's nothing like being good at something, right?
Like to be like exceedingly good.
Like when myself and Ryan used to play,
like there was one time we got in a lobby
with Pwnstar for hire.
We fucked him up and we played a,
we ended up in a game.
Yeah, he's a good player too.
Yeah, we ended up in a game with XJaws.
We made him rage quit. Yeah, like there was a game yeah we ended up in a game with x jaws we made a rage quit
um yeah like there was a there was a point where we could go into games and we knew we would win
like like we'd sit down and say okay we're gonna play 10 games tonight and we might lose one there
well there was one game we end up with a mark of jay like he he all over us but uh yeah
he's he's exceedingly good but but yeah like there yeah, there was no feeling like being that good at something.
It's really, really good.
Rust has the highest PvP skill ceiling I've ever seen in any game ever.
Controlling the AK-47 is the best gun in the game.
And all the guys are like, oh, I got an AK.
I'm so happy.
I don't use an AK.
I have 15 in a box.
I'm not picking that fucking thing up because I know I shouldn't carry it because I don't know an ak i i have i have 15 in a box i'm not picking that fucking thing up
because i know i shouldn't carry it because i don't know how to fucking use it and neither do
any of the rest of us it is what the recall pattern is this z that and that might sound easy
oh it goes five up into the right and then six up into the left i'll just pull down into the left
and then down into the right in practice that does not work it it is so
so difficult to use it incredible and so when you run into someone who can use it
yeah the shooting slower hill sometimes but then you're not competitive yeah then you might as well
be using a semi-automatic rifle it's it's it's when you run into somebody like like if you were to watch a bad player like
me use it my ak is going is like like i'm shooting this big cone around the guy and and like maybe
three out of ten shots will hit him when you watch hg and shoot an ak it sits fucking still
it sits fucking still like it's a cod 4 ak that you just have to pull down a little bit and just
hold in place and it's like oh well i would never win a gunfight against that guy it's not you you would
just literally never win against him not a fair one you need to jump right even then even then i
don't know i don't know like like maybe if you got a shotgun like an insta kill weapon but like
if you if i shot him in the back at medium range and i didn't kill him before he
could whip around he'd kill me he'd absolutely kill me if we had that the same gear set on the
same amount of armor he's and and we run into guys in fucking in the game that are just all right
well let's try to get the jump on them next time because that didn't go well at all that went real poorly what is a better
new weapon like is there an m4 maybe it there there actually is so there's an m4 in the game
but you can't craft it you can only buy it from an in-game store or get it from an airdrop and
both of those options make it extremely rare i had like the server wiped yesterday so we lost
our things but all the things that we acquired in our week or so of play we had maybe three or four lrs i carried an lr
because like like an m4 maybe i don't know yes i'm sorry yeah let's just call an m4 for like
these purposes but it's essentially an m4 and uh it has controllable recoil and medium damage
and it's my preference for sure i can operate it quite
well i win a lot of gunfights with it even against ak's it does less damage but it's more controllable
so i'm only going to lose usually against someone who's much much better than me i might win against
someone who's just better than me because it's just a better gun but you can only buy it in game
and its cost is expensive there There are shops set up within
the game environment, and you have to go
there and give them a currency that's
in-game that's scrap. Scrap
is used for a lot of purposes, but one of them is to
purchase weapons in the game, and
it's one of the guns that you can purchase.
And, you know, if you lose it, you've lost
it. You know, with an AK, once
you get one, you research it, now I can create
them myself for not an incredibly high cost. It is costly, once you get one, you research it, now I can create them myself for
not an incredibly high cost.
It is costly, but it's
nothing that's going to break the bank in materials
that are used to craft it. I can make
20 AKs at this point, but
like I said, I don't want to run the AK
because I'm so, so bad with it. But the LR,
I'm pretty fucking good with, I think.
Yeah, it's
an interesting game.
And there's a lot of things to do.
You can do whatever you want.
Like sometimes we'll spend,
sometimes I'll spend two hours,
I'll get real drunk.
And I'll put on full, I'll put on full scuba gear
and I'll get in a boat
with a sword and a handgun
and I'll go out into the ocean
where there are these heaps of trash
floating around
and I'll just break the barrels that are in that trash and take like the random loot within them
and then I'll dive down to the bottom of the ocean and I'll loot like the boxes that are in
these like crashed ships, sunken ships. I'll do that for two hours till I sober up and by the
time I'm done I got like enough. I got a whole bunch of usable components that make guns and
doors and all kinds of other gear and in that
way i feel like i've helped my team a lot or sometimes we'll all get in a boat and with jack
hammers and chainsaws and we'll go to a remote island that no one lives on and we'll mine it dry
you know we'll we'll get all of the sulfur and steel and stone and wood that exists on that
island and those trips are fun like it might sound boring like oh you chop like the grind
because like while you're chopping wood a grizzly bear might come right at you you know like there's
grizzly bears and wolves and wild boar and stuff and like you never know when some asshole is
actually going to be on the island to kill you so you've always got to have your guard up and
looking around while you chainsaw that thing about going to the bottom and looking for trash i have a facebook friend who does that in real life
and it's amazing to me it's fascinating it is the least appealing activity for me on the planet he
gets in a full wetsuit gets scuba gear he goes to the bottom of like dirty lakes and rivers and finds garbage and gets
so excited about it this guy was put on this earth to find 19 year old plastic toys and then
identify what they might have been back in the day they don't have any value right like it is
garbage he is pulling out but he'll be like look look at this it's a quarter of a stop sign and
you're like yeah like that's trash the people are throwing trash in the water and you're picking it
out like it was a buried treasure and he was so happy he posted on facebook like three times a
week he just out there he's investing in like better underwater photography gear so he can show
the adventure of actually unearthing like
a broken laptop and just digging it out from the mud and and i i just watch it again and again and
again and i'm like wow i i i can't i wouldn't like anything less but he's just it is his cup of tea
so yeah so like a man with a passion yeah it's uh um i have some uh some ama questions here
taylor this one is for you this gentleman by the way if you want to ask us these ama questions just
become a patreon down below there's a very affordable level on there if you click that
link and you'll be able to submit questions to us and we answer when we answer them uh as long
as they're not fucking stupid.
That is our qualifier.
That's the only qualifier.
Don't ask a stupid fucking question.
Taylor, how did your grandparents like the new TV
that you promised us that you would buy them?
Oh,
they fucking love it.
Like we were,
so they were,
my grandparents built this beautiful home
like years and years ago uh
and they put these tvs in and they were like flat screen the first like flat screen where it was
like that thick you know and they had gotten so old that like there was just a bar of red down
one of them and my grandma was such a sweet woman who just doesn't really mind
that much she's like you know i don't really notice it too much unless you know it really
you point it out i don't even mind it's like grandma we're watching football and you can't
see like 20 yards of the field at a given point and so i uh i thought it'd be a good idea to get
a tv and so like we we took it took it was fucking hard to unmount these TVs because they were so fucking old and
had been there for so long,
but we got them off,
got the smart TV in there.
And then like,
they were blown away by like the,
so you don't,
we don't have to plug anything into this.
We just plug it in.
And then,
and then I can just use this remote.
And she's like,
well,
my God,
now this is so much better,
Taylor.
Thank you so much.
And she was sitting there watching it. And I was was like showing her like walking her through and being like all
right so if you want to go to netflix you go boop boop boop boop boop and i'd be like all right go
back to home and i'd give it to her and i go get to netflix and she figured it out like pretty much
immediately nice that's so intuitive grandma uh-huh yeah yeah they're so well she she's been
my grandpa would wouldn't pick it up as quickly
because he still doesn't like texting.
He doesn't like anything like that.
He lives in a world dominated by John Deere, not Sony.
Yes.
Not Sony or any of those things.
But yeah, they fucking loved the TV.
It's definitely the best gift I've ever given to them.
And so, yeah i they were
very very pleased with it all right here's a good one for our guest what is a super practical
superpower that you would like to have also having a parking spot um here's some examples
and i don't know about them always having a parking spot close to the front of the park lot
your clothes will always fit you or you plug something in on your
first try. Those are lame superpowers,
honestly. So I guess
I'll just ask you, what superpower
would you like to have?
The ability to reach in my pocket and have
as much money as I need for any particular
point in time.
That's a pretty good superpower.
I saw that one in a tv show once oh really yeah
it was uh it was not it was almost that like it was set in these like olden times every time he
reached in there were like gold and silver coins but yeah it was basically that sounds badass yeah
i think well i think that the trade-off was that um he kept that superpower so long as he didn't
bathe or do any hygiene. So his hair and
fingernails got long and he became disgusting
but he had this money.
Sounds like a Twilight Zone
episode. Such a good show.
Yeah, it does.
Oh, yeah.
Any more
questions, Kyle?
You gotta wade through the shit.
Taylor, do you have one? An everyday superpower you'd like oh man uh to be able to wish away body hair i was gonna say it's funny
along the first one be gone as you were saying that be gone i'm like double my metabolism right
like we each have our own oh that's that's
even oh yeah i would take more body hair if it meant that i could double my metabolism
or the ability to eat and drink whatever you want with no negative health repercussions in fact your
body makes you stronger so you could eat you can drink beer and eat pizza and your body will
convert that into the complex amino acids you need to be an elite human athlete.
And all you do is get drunk
and eat pizza. My body converts
refined sugar into muscle.
Yeah, just pure muscle.
Just survive on Snickers and look like
Arnold Schwarzenegger.
That would be a good one. Or to be able to
just impose feelings of embarrassment
on people, even when they haven't done
anything. Just be like,
watch people be like,
oh my goodness.
That's such a dick.
That's so horrible.
She mess with us during the show.
Here's one.
Your top three must, it says must need,
but that's not a thing, must have, I'll correct you,
features of your ideal perfect woman.
And it gives three categories,
physically, emotionally, and ideologically.
Now, physically, any pussy. Emotionally, the ability to roll with the punches and not take
everything as a big tragedy, right? To see the silver lining on things and to be like,
well, this will be over in a month. We can fix this with a little bit of money. We can fix this
with a little bit of work. Not a big deal. Get over it. ruined it's one fucking night the ability to do that and ideologically is the third
one i'm answering these as i go clearly ideologically i'm looking for someone who's
who's common sense oriented right not a conservative not a liberal a common sense oriented
person who's looking at the way that things affect them and us as in as like a couple
as a as a family group as whatever or as or herself as an individual and then reaching her
opinions ideologically based on those things not based on group think or or what uh the red team
thinks or the blue team thinks or the green team thinks or
whatever the fuck. Not saying, well, I'm for abortion because all of the blue people are.
Because I hate kids.
I hate them. That's a good reason. If you just hate kids and that's why you're for abortion,
I'm on board with that. You have ideologically made a common sense,
this affects me in this way, decision.. Now it might be a little evil that
you just want more children to be killed, but, but it still fits within what I'm looking for
from you ideologically. I'm not saying you have to be a perfectly moral person. I want you to come
to your decisions from a common sense standpoint though. So, so those are my three. Those are good
three. I have. Yeah. have yeah all right so the the first
one was physical i put flat tummy now i mentioned this a bunch of times i think if a woman has a
flat tummy i can pretty much rest assured that the rest of the package is just fine right if you got
that everything else is going to be okay by me um what was the second category emotionally emotionally
i wrote supportive of each other i feel like that if I have that in a woman, then emotionally, like if she's on my team
and I'm on hers, that is the number one aspect of our relationship emotionally that I'm looking
for.
And the last one was ideologically.
I put beliefs based on a practical kindness.
So that's where they should just be born out of a practical desire to be kind, you know,
not give away, not ruin yourself for the benefit of others, but a practical kindness.
Yeah, that's good.
What do you got, Rob?
Man, well, I met the girl of my dreams, so I guess I can just describe her.
Okay, so.
Happy trail.
So emotionally, emotionally mature right like able able to understand the
fact that sometimes shit just happens and like being able to grasp that being able to understand
that and being able to cope with that you know being able to move forward that um that's related
to kyle had a similar physically and ideologically yes we agree very much on that one that you just
mentioned physically and ideologically um ide, we agree very much on that one that you just mentioned. Physically and ideologically.
Ideologically, the ability to stand in the face of the world and say, I think you're wrong.
I'm right.
Like, that's important to me.
Like, having that independence streak.
Okay.
And then physically, just, I mean, she's strikingly beautiful.
So, yeah.
I mean, it's crazy.
She's got this walk like this super confident
walk like she walks like a runway model and it's just like holy shit but uh yeah no i mean
yeah just attractive so nice that's cool you can tell you really love her based on like something
that little minute that's better she's really got something on you either way i'm happy we
see a picture of her walking and it's like from the Ministry of Silly Walks.
She doesn't give a shit what anyone thinks.
She did that. She came walking out.
Like, we're going out to dinner somewhere.
She's like, I'll be downstairs. And then she comes downstairs in the Ministry of Silly Walks.
I guess I'll go.
Physically, red hair.
I really like red hair.
Emotionally, would be, I guess, the ability to settle me down.
Like if I lose my temper or get angry or like want to just freak out about things,
I do okay about that for the most part, but I still lose my temper sometimes.
And my girl that I'm with right now does a fantastic job of that.
She'll really get my temper going going she'll really calm me down uh and then ideologically like doesn't like
more like able rolls with any kind of joke subject at all like no matter how offensive
no matter how horrible like she'll be able to be like, oh, he's fucking around and get jokes
and enjoy more harsh humor like that.
I don't know if that really fits in.
I guess I'd be like a free speech thing ideologically.
I don't know.
But yeah, someone who is willing to find the humor
in really fucking macabre things.
Yeah, there are some people who cling so strongly to their own
ideological beliefs that
they can't joke about them.
There are some people who are so religious
that a Jesus joke is just
literally sacrilege.
There are some people who are so
against abortion that they could never
make an abortion joke.
There are some people who are so
extreme on the side of like
feminism that they can't see the humor and some rape jokes sometimes they're funny all right they
just are yeah you know some they're offensive they're disgusting they're gross but they're
funny i mean i don't think i've ever heard of a funny rape joke but no i understand what you're
saying like people people take their ideologies and they attach them to their personality. So it's like, if you don't
like this thing, you don't like me.
So yeah, yeah, exactly.
Those would be my three.
Well, uh,
Kyle, is there anything to roll
with? Or before we even do that, Rob, where can everybody
find your booming channel? That's much bigger
than the show.
Um, uh, you can find me on YouTube,
uh, comics explained and then Twitter at comics explained. And yeah, bigger than a shelf. You can find me on YouTube, Comics Explained,
and then Twitter at Comics Explained.
The only real social media platforms
that I use. Sounds good. I'll look you up
on there right now. Check him out if you want the
nitty gritty details on
everything comic book related.
He has long format videos
where he essentially tells you the story
of a mini book series
of stories that may have been told over the period of months or even a year or something like that.
But he also has these sort of, he described them as clickbait.
I don't love that description because they're good content.
But there are videos like, how do you kill Wolverine?
Or who is the one above all?
Or like, you know, how did this happen?
Who does this?
Who can kill this?
Who's the most powerful amongst this group? Stuff like that. And they're all really fun. Sometimes they're, they're eight minute little bites of, of good content. And sometimes
they're literally two, two to three hours of really great content. So yeah. Uh, check him out.
I appreciate you coming on the show. Really enjoyed you had a good time.
Yeah, man. Yeah. Thanks for having me on here. This is awesome.
Yeah. You got to come back on again, dude. Yeah yeah we'd love to have you again all right so 50 years in the future
a daring team is recruited to pilot a new form of weaponized neuroscience that powers devastating
mecca but they must be willing to sacrifice everything to save the world gen lock a new
animated series starring michael b jordan maizey williams and david tennant tint stream it for free
right now exclusively on rooster teeth Links for all of our sponsors down below.
And I think that's it.
I've been looking for a rape joke like it's a challenge.
You said you've never heard of a funny one.
I've been scouring the internet.
If you Google rape joke,
all you hear is about people who got in trouble for rape jokes.
Patrice O'Neill has some good ones.
Oh, God, Patrice O'Neill.
Dude, he passed away, didn't he?
Yeah, 2011. R.I.P.
Has it really been like
eight years? Jesus.
It's crazy.
Well, shit. It's not easy to find
a quick rape joke. I thought there'd be
a whole page of them. I even found rapejoke.com
and there's not a list of rape jokes.
There was a website called T-Shirt Hell
back in the day and a buddy of mine,
a guy I used to work with, came in
and he was showing it to me.
There was one shirt they had that I'll never forget.
It said, rape is no laughing matter
unless you're raping a clown.
But aside from that,
yeah.
See, that's a funny joke.
I guess.
See, you did it for me.
All right.
Pink You Are Ready, episode 423.