Painkiller Already - Painkiller Already #429
Episode Date: March 15, 2019On this week's PKA, our pal from across the pond, Kwebbelkop has returned and with him, he brings interesting updates on his new video game company and the game they're producing, the guys also watch ...the viral sensation that is R Kelly's interview, proclaiming his innocence, with Gayle King and last but not least the guys watch a video of ONLYUSEmeBLADE pissing himself while beyond the point of intoxication and talk about the life he's living. So swing on by, and get down with yo bad self.
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Thank you already.
Episode 429 with our guest,
Quibble Cop.
Kyle, a few sponsors tonight.
Getquip.com,
TheZebra.com,
Goat.com,
and BlueChew.com.
We'll talk about all those guys
later on in the show, of course.
Big fan of one of them in particular.
All of them.
Me too.
Quib.
Getquibble Cop back.
Yeah.
10 million subscribers.
Does that make you diamond now?
Yes, finally.
I finally get my diamond play button.
But you don't have the physical.
One day, yeah, that's where I was headed.
Yes, yes.
Wait, you get a diamond play button for 10 mil?
Yeah, it's actually real diamond.
Does it have real diamonds on it?
Yeah, some guy in a crazy far place went digging,
and then you get a real diamond.
I am so tired of these people getting 10 million subscribers.
My daughter has no feet left.
What does she do?
No feet left.
Oh, my God.
That's a reference I know.
The Belgian shit where they'd come in, and they'd be like,
oh, you don't have enough. I and they'd be like oh you don't have
enough i'm british apparently you don't have enough rubber for me and they'd chop off some
like little kid's hand which to me i always thought like there's no way they did that more
than a handful of times because like they did arms you're ruining yeah they did everything yeah
but it's like but weren't they just just murdering the next generation of slaves?
Of rubber farmers?
I don't know.
See, they're not forward thinking like Hugh Taylor.
Just slaves.
It turns out mean people with machetes, maybe they're just not real.
That guy's going to be a lousy rubber farmer going forward, right?
You know what?
I would have just taken away his daily ration of rice or maybe make him take away his sandals how about tomorrow he
needs to get more than his share right if you have to get eight pounds and he comes in at six
tomorrow do 10 nah listen you don't understand it just cut off the arms of their kids you know
and then there you go guys this is how i run my business too how do you think i have 10 million
subscribers my like i go through editors like through editors like it's nobody's business.
How am I meant to get just as much rub up with just one hand?
First, I cut off my editor's hands.
And believe it or not, they get worse.
Then they're fired.
This fucker doesn't know how to work an Adobe Premiere without his precious fingers.
That's why you start off with the feet.
You're just pecking like a nose.
If you thought your child was going to lose
a leg or a foot or a hand
or something like that, that would be pretty
motivational, right?
Well, definitely motivational.
But if they would have said like, and I'm sure they did this shit too,
I don't know anything about this entire
conflict and era in history
other than the one still shot that we've all seen
of that dad sitting there looking at his daughter's hand being like, man, this... entire conflict and era in history other than the one still shot that we've all seen of like that
dad sitting there like looking at his daughter's hand like being like man this i don't have the
perspective to know that life is good in other places but it fucking sucks here you know must
be what his thought was but i mean his thought should have been to whip them instead of removing
limbs because otherwise you just don't have any rubber collect how can you lower your gain slightly
yeah pre-show we spent time getting everything perfect and then so it just don't have any rubber. Can you lower your gain slightly? Yeah.
Pre-show we spent time getting everything perfect.
And then so it just doesn't seem.
Yes.
Yes.
Yes. Anyway, this has nothing to do with your million subscriber celebration.
Congratulations.
How does that feel?
Thank you.
It's like any other milestone.
YouTubers will understand that you hit the milestone.
You're so excited to hit it.
And then you hit it and you're like, oh, back to work.
But yeah,
it's super cool, super exciting.
I keep on
forgetting that I have 10 million subs.
But besides that, it's just a number.
So I'm just going to keep on making more videos, of course.
Do you know where that ranks you on YouTube?
Is that top 100?
No, definitely not.
I'll check now for you guys.
I think it's top 300 or 250 is what I've been for like ages now.
Okay.
Let me see.
Sorry.
I'm subscriber rank 360.
Oh, cool.
I've dropped.
359 on Social Blade.
Yeah.
That's why you're so short.
Okay.
359. And my views are a little bit higher so it's 322 i don't know clicked it away nice yeah so um so yeah it's going super well i'm still enjoying
it are you still enjoying it tell me yeah i am I am. I mean, what is my channel?
I goof around and play video games,
and I watch them sometimes.
Oh, yeah, such a dream.
Look, there's YouTubers on this call.
We know the deal.
There's nothing I enjoy more than grinding away at video games.
But do you get my paycheck?
Sitting in the dark for years on end.
All my friends are virtual.
I've kind of really nailed it down to an art form.
So it's more of,
I have all these employees now
and without them,
I wouldn't have had 10 million subs.
I would have burned out
at like six or something.
But all I kind of have to do is,
the video ideas,
they are ready for me now.
And I just grab a video idea,
I record it, and then do that grab a video idea. I record it.
I do that twice every day.
Then that's it.
Sometimes I wake up at 7 a.m.
I'm done with work before 9.
Then I still have the rest of the day to hang around, eat cookies, play games.
Back in the day, getting a game play took more time than that.
Not on my channel. So back in the day, getting a gameplay took more time than that, right? Like that was... Yeah. So if that was today, I would be there paying somebody to get the gameplay for me.
And then I would just commentate over it, right?
And it's not because like I'm a scumbag or anything, but it's just like I wouldn't be able to do this every day if I didn't have any help, right?
I love when discord does
this and it freezes my camera right as i'm it looks like i just watched my puppy get stomped
to death in reality i was look i was looking at the next topic we're gonna go to i was making
sure that i was i was queued up and knew what i was gonna be talking about love it that's very
respectable you make sure you know what you're talking about before the next topic.
Well, I try to.
That breaks show tradition.
Wait, we got topics?
Can you turn your gain down slightly, too?
Oh, sorry.
I'm being too loud.
You're clipping now and then.
I'm going to try to make my camera work.
Dude, Queb, that is such a cool rich person painting mural you have behind you.
Is that above a fireplace?
Wait, wait, wait.
Wait, wait, wait.
We'll turn this into a more rich person place oh hell yeah rich people when they're my friends are very cool what's he gonna
do i'm hoping that he's the only non-rich person on this call i'm hoping that thing spins while
he's in his chair like that that would be proper spins i was hoping the wall does.
Oh, so quick disclaimer,
this is actually my girlfriend's place.
We need Kyle to come back before we show this.
He messed up the format.
Oh, you turned on the fireplace.
It'll get really hot in here now.
Oh, so you're in Canada right now, right?
Yes.
Are you still cool with the bouncing around lifestyle are you getting
a little no is the podcast still going yeah the podcast is going but what is happening with the
with the with the pictures then you know what i'll take a screenshot and show you what you look like
can you put your hands back up so that is it am i like yes don't move am i like in somebody else's frame yeah don't move
uh is he in my frame you're welcome in my frame anytime can i move again yep i got it okay so this
oh hopefully it's working that's what you look like yeah oh wow okay okay that's why it's fixed now i'll move
everyone around but but we're good again now yeah yeah okay okay back back to normal yes back to
normal so so quick disclaimer this is my girlfriend's house that's her fireplace not mine
that's my painting though you did that painting that painting, or you bought it? No, I just bought it. I just paid somebody.
How much do you buy paintings for?
I'm not in the market for a painting.
So, I'm actually a big painting enthusiast. So, this one, this is just, like, you know, not a really famous artist or anything.
It's just a dude or girl or whatever just painting around.
So, something like this can go from anywhere from a few hundred
dollars to like a grand maybe oh man i can paint something like that that thing 250 yeah oh
beautiful beautiful i have some more paintings uh in in my office and they're all pretty cheap
but then once you're talking about limited edition prints or just
really unique paintings by uh like big big art like um painters you can go easily go upwards of
200 grand 250 grand for unique art pieces and prints usually a few thousand uh you know some
some even like 70 000 for just a print so like 50 of them in the world
if you ever got to like you know the silly billionaire level of wealth where people will
just buy a two million dollar painting because that's what they're into and it's also my
understanding that the art business when you get that expensive is more of a money laundering
operation than actually caring about art yeah i don't know enough to refute it so i choose to
believe it uh Would you ever...
Would that be one of your dumb things,
Queb, or would you...
Even if you were worth $2 billion, you'd be like,
I'm not paying.
Who knows?
Queb's over there like,
I already bought a pint of art.
You guys are talking about tax avoidance.
I like your Queb impression, Kyle.
It's not very good.
This isn't very good.
That's Queb.
Hello, my name is Queb.
I'm not making videos.
I'm trying to pick up a half day's work at Lowe's.
I feel like every young rich kid goes through phases.
Some people, they have their car phase,
and they have their drug phase,
and then they have their really expensive girlfriend phase.
I had my watch phase at one point.
So, you know, now I have this watch.
Have you had any phases where afterward you were like, that was dumb?
Oh, yes.
Yeah, yeah. Which ones? any fixes where afterward you were like that was dumb oh yes yeah yeah which was oh my my dumbest one was where i had my computer phase and i was just getting the best like stuff for my computer
and a bit and then at one point i had like four computers and i had like eight spare graphics
cards laying around like titan x's uh just two of them because i got everything in sli and i was
like damn i'm dumb um so that's when i started reading uh some books over there about how to
take care of your money yeah and then after that i had my watch phase how deep did that get
how deep did that get um depends who are you asking you i had like did you get a fourteen thousand dollar watch a thirty thousand dollar watch a hundred how high did it go well
kind of don't want to say any numbers yeah don't say any numbers that's you know the show's better
when you do it was no how much are rolexes because i know that as like a brand. Yeah. But if someone told me a Rolex, that's $5,000.
Or if they said a Rolex, that's $50,000.
A nice Rolex, you know, like the one you usually see, $10,000.
That's pretty much, I would say, the going rate.
What's the name of that one in your head?
Like a submarine.
Submariner, right?
Is that it?
Yeah, sure. I also read it as submariner
forever oh submariner there you go yeah so sorry sorry i butchered that so those would go for about
10 000 and then but you also have rolexes that go for 50 okay um yeah and 200k um but i i didn't go that far like i have a nice watch well i just spent uh
330 dollars uh buying uh street hockey gear and equipment well and that's me now
that's me now you know where i'm like oh man fine like i can save 10 bucks doing this right where at first i
was like yeah money but i feel like you know you grow up a little bit and now you get you know i
you get really happy i get really happy when i buy a new book or for example right a new book you
said a book or or uh you know toothpicks i'm like oh like, oh, yeah. I'm going to keep these guys so clean. No, but wait.
How much does a good book run you?
What does a good toothpick cost you, for Christ's sake?
I mean, what is that all about?
You know, I'll get the $5 a pop.
No, no.
I almost bought a new watch.
Not almost, but I looked into watches.
The watch I really wear, it's an altimeter, and that matters to me because I do this acrobatic paramotoring, and I like to know my current altitude.
But it's not classy, you know?
Like, it's a digital thing.
I have the Fitbit.
So I was looking for a mechanical altimeter watch, but it all fell apart.
I realized it wasn't waterproof in altimeter mode, So you had to like unplug and replug shit.
And it's the kind of thing I would not do well 100% of the time.
So are you like, you wear it because you're always like, you know, just in case you're on the toilet, just making sure that you're not too high up.
Good, good.
Just making sure the house didn't take off.
I use it all the time.
It has a couple of things that matter.
Like, okay, the sunset, right? I like to keep keep on top of that you don't pay attention for a week it's changed by
eight minutes or something like that and that matters um and then of course there's the the
altitude thing i use it to tell if my gopro is running with its reflection and then i tell time
with it those are the things i do i don't like wearing watches. They pinch my arm hair and
pull it. It starts that way.
Because you're a wolf man.
That is true. My arms are a normal level
of hairy.
Let's see them. No. You can't even tell
on my shit. It'll actually make me look
better because on my camera you can't tell
anything in the light. I feel like if you
went a little deeper I'd start to see that
wolf man
yeah yeah i'm probably only marginally hairier than cop well not marginally about like triple kyle but i don't have hand hair have you noticed that especially in older men who get the hair that
like creeps anybody have joe rogan to the hand yeah i bet joe rogan has hairy hands i don't like
that look i don't like the hairy old man's hand.
Yeah.
If I were Rogan, I would trim my hand hair.
It's not a big deal to do it either.
You just take a beard trimmer and just knock the high spots off of that fucking mitt.
That's my technique for too hairy anywhere.
If you shave it, then you go, I think, through a regrowth period, which isn't flattering.
And it also kind of advertises that you shave there.
But if you just knock it down with a beard trimmer,
well, you go right to kind of where you wanted to be in the first place.
Yeah.
I'm taking notes, guys, just in case I start growing hair.
Someday you'll be over 40 and you'll want to know.
I mean, my life changed for the better when I stopped doing full shaving in the crotchal region
and switched to just trimming it with the lowest setting or whatever.
Because then you never get that horrible razor bump feel where maybe you shave and that evening you work out
and then you got sweat all in your pores or whatever causes that irritation.
I don't know.
But trim your pubes.
Don't shave.
Your hair starts growing really quickly and then it starts like touching, like really moving around.
Yeah.
And then it gets all like, you know, herpes down there all of a sudden.
Well, who doesn't
you know that's gonna be the future when when all the stds finally get cured
you're gonna go crazy right like like like at that point like what if you know because that's
the only thing holding me back i have no what about babies Oh, no. Get yourself a vasectomy. And because I mentioned this because recently HPV was cured.
The cure is not readily available.
They just found the cure.
It's like, ah, we got it.
The elites.
The elites found the cure.
They found the cure in Mexico, of all places.
Let's not build that wall just yet.
Let's get that cure over here first.
And then I see that like a second person was cured of hiv which sounds great again and then you only have like 20
left right 20 stds to go um i don't know about the uncurable ones you know that that's because
that's the thing right you get syphilis hiv are they curing it like gone or is it like to magic
johnson level where it's like it's cured
as long as you take a hundred a cocktail of pills i mean they're curing it they've done it for the
second time now that's one of the topics uh for this evening that i have so handily segued into
and my thought process is once they're all gone once there's nothing to hold you back and you get
the vasectomy it's going to be like the 80s again the 80s before
the scare just raw dog everybody and everything at all everybody tons of stds before the 80s we
just didn't know we'd be like man tony had a lot of sex in his youth and now he's crazy
i didn't know that he had neural syphilis he was going going insane. Like all the, like STDs is just nature telling us to
settle down. No.
No, I take it. Once we cure all
this crop of STDs, nature's going to come up
with something else. I take like a
Claret every day just to
sort of, you know, you want to stay in front
of it. I think, you know,
maybe I'd do that with penicillin, hypothetical
single woody. Just want to
every day stay on top of it. That's not good for you. It's really good for your body to always have You know, hypothetical single woody. Just one every day.
Stay on top of it. That's not good for you.
It's really good for your body to always have it.
You know, syphilis isn't good for you.
Pick your poison.
That's true.
What's the worst STD other than AIDS?
Is it syphilis?
No.
No.
Syphilis is nothing.
Syphilis kills you, right?
Syphilis kills you after 10 or 12.
No.
First of all, syphilis doesn't move to that scary phase
until after a decade.
All right?
You can have it for,
after like,
I think it's after either nine months
or maybe like 18 months.
It stops even being contagious.
What happens with syphilis a lot,
I'm sorry,
I thought there was a break there,
is people take something that kills syphilis
for something else, right?
Taylor gets a flu or something.
He takes penicillin and syphilis is just wiped out as a matter of course.
That's a normal thing.
Yeah, it takes a good, it takes a good shot of penicillin, but,
but that's all it takes to kill penicillin syphilis.
And like I was saying,
like if you get syphilis and you don't do anything about it and like a year
and a half goes by, you stop being a transmitter of syphilis just all by yourself now the syphilis will still progress through its stages until it's
the neurolopic fucking syphilis that eats your brain away and turns it into swiss cheese like
your alcopone and alcatraz going nutty in there if you don't get that penicillin shot get the
penicillin shot but i think it's one of the easiest it's probably because like for most
people there aren't even any side effects like you don't even know you've got it oh boy well
i've been tested i know i don't have syphilis same well i don't have it anymore i mean but i
always thought of like chlamydia and gonorrhea as like the jv stds where where you can knock those out. Crabs. That might be my first choice.
I think I don't like herpes.
Shampoo from Gladys.
Can you just shave all your hair off?
According to the movies,
you can't.
Not on me because they would migrate
to some other place.
You'd have them on your hands all of a sudden.
My hands are just being like,
what whole colony?
Crabs are like head lice, but then for your pubes.
You know? Yes.
So as long as there's a little
forest for them down there, they'll live there
and, you know, reproduce.
No, why wouldn't shaving work?
No, it wouldn't.
Because they just migrate.
And then you shave here, and then you shave there, and then...
Would they go to your head eventually?
I think so, yeah.
Do they make it to your head, or is it lice now?
Then it becomes lice, right?
Then they become lice.
That's what lice are.
Lice are just crabs for children.
Do you guys ever get lice?
I do.
I have had lice once, yes.
I've had it many times.
Really?
I've never had it many times. Really?
I've never had it.
Look at this afro.
So the easiest way for you guys to get rid of it is just like get it all.
That is also the easiest way for you to get rid of it.
Yes, but obviously this is my bread and butter.
Your money maker.
My money maker.
I mean, without this, I look like a, I i don't know crackhead or something silly um so so like i i had lice i think the last time was like four years ago
and um it it happens usually when you're a kid you go to school and somebody at school has it
you know your coats are next to each other on the right. Right. Yeah. But then later I got it because I went to like these fan meetups with like a bunch of fans.
And, you know, there are kids from schools over there.
And you're like, oh, I want a picture.
And they're like.
Yeah.
Like fans give you a place.
That's hilarious.
It takes one to jump over or fall over.
And then what I did was I had this whole routine,
you know, ready for the next time.
It's like brushing it every day,
changing your sheets every day,
and then brushing it with like a really fine comb.
And that worked last time, went super well.
But it's-
How did you know you had it?
Like, did you feel or see them or anything?
Oh my God.
Well, what I usually do is I brush my hair.
And while brushing it, there's a big chunk of, like, hair left.
And I slam the brush on, like, the sink, see if anything comes out.
And sometimes I'm just curious.
I'm like, oh, hey, you know.
Hey, that's my dinner from last night.
It's still in there, you know. And then sometimes I see, like, a little black dot. And then I'm like, okay, hey, you know, hey, that's my dinner from last night. It's still in there, you know.
And then sometimes I see like a little black dot and then I'm like, okay, fuck, that's a lice.
Got to get rid of it.
But once, it's a horror story.
I'm in school and this was in high school.
I think it was 15.
That was like second to last time I got it.
Same hairstyle?
Yeah, pretty much.
A little bit shorter.
And we had biology.
Am I still here?
You're good.
Sorry, my PC just went on snooze.
So we had biology class, and, you know,
a teacher was talking about something, whatever.
And we had to do some homework or a test.
I believe it was a test and I'm writing the test and you know filling out all the answers
Now all of a sudden and they see like a little black thing on my on my piece of paper and it came like falling from my head and I take a look
We've been spotted guys and I'm like put me back holy shit and then obviously i had
lies but it was so bad that one like him falling out and you didn't know before that no like
sometimes i was like oh you know your head's a little bit scratchy and itchy and you're like
you're like this but it wasn't driving you mad or anything no no maybe like it doesn't have to
if they're like two or three on of them well here's someone who's definitely must have been
going mad from it woody can you show that gif off that that taylor just linked i'm holding my hand
up so i don't know it's fucking terrible look at the amount of lice this poor fucker has on his head. Oh, fuck! Just the whole goop of it.
Is this a reverse gif?
Because it looks like they're putting it back in his head.
Yes, they are.
This is a reverse gif.
Well, I was working quickly.
Now I get why you were holding your hand like this.
I just have the face come on full screen.
Oh, that's rough, man.
I mean, last time I came tuning in
and there's this guy with a swollen leg.
That was...
Oh, I remember that.
Yeah, it's probably like one of those homeless people
who get the awful...
Oh, like a lymphedema or something?
Or like necrosis?
Oh, dudes, I don't want to see this anymore.
This looks...
Oh, come on.
Can we delete it?
Can we delete it?
No, I'm going to keep posting. I'm going to... Oh! Wow. see this anymore this looks oh come on that one we delete it can we delete it no i'm gonna keep
posting i'm gonna oh wow that was bad too i've never seen it like this so i had it when i was
a kid uh so long ago i actually didn't get to see rambo in theaters because because i got light um
but my kid one of my kids had it and it didn't look like this.
Like, it wasn't even that visible.
Oh, you have, like, a little bit of them, you know?
Yeah.
But it's definitely not like that.
Yeah, I got it once in maybe second grade, third grade.
And I just remember them coming around checking everyone.
Yeah. And it felt really nice because, like, for whatever reason, they checked us right after we got in from recess.
And, you know, we're all sweaty and hot.
And the cold comb, I just remember how good it felt when she was checking me for lice.
And I was thinking, I wish she'd check us every day.
This is really nice.
That's where you found your fetish.
Yeah, that's how I figured it out.
But then I noticed she was skipping the black kids.
And at first, I was all right i guess fuck them huh
i guess maybe she doesn't want lice are notoriously racist lice are notoriously racist black people
apparently do not get lice and but i didn't know that at the time i was like i guess she just
doesn't give a fuck if octavius has lice i like to think that you got it from the comb
oh that would be rough no i didn't have it at the time um i got it from the comb. Oh, that would be rough.
No, I didn't have it at the time.
I got it when I was even younger than that,
like maybe first grade or kindergarten or something like that.
But in this instance, I was clean.
But someone else, there was like a lice outbreak,
and everybody was getting checked, except for the blacks.
Oh, yeah.
Dude, you're right.
Only 0.3% of black kids in schools get head lice
compared to 10% of white kids. Yeah. Dude, you're right. Only 0.3% of black kids in schools get head lice compared to 10% of white
kids. Yeah.
I didn't know that. These racist little
bugs either need
to lower their white inhabitants rate
or really jack up the black.
They have
no lice or nearly no lice. They've got
fast twitch muscle.
Extra tendon, I've heard. Careful, Jimmy.
They have superior genes.
Did I say sunburn already?
I don't know. That's another one. They don't get sunburn
very easily.
I don't think Samoan people sunburn either, do they?
I'm not sure.
Mexicans don't have a big issue with it.
They have their own group of problems.
When I heard that, the black guy
asked me if sunscreen really
works and that was the eye opener for me he's like yeah i see white people use that does it
actually do anything okay one black people if you're watching yes it's freaking amazing i don't
know why cream stops you from having trouble but it really does and uh two that is when i learned
that they really don't have sunburn they They're just in the sun all day.
No suntan lotion at all.
And so what did he say when you said it was a real thing?
In his voice, please.
Shit.
Shit.
Let sunburn be good.
I don't know.
Sunburn be good.
It was a long time ago.
I don't recall. You need to be more melanated
have you seen that uh there's like this tweet chain of this it's really old and it's like a
meme by now but it's this like black woman who this is random person on twitter who was like
the average black body is worth 2.5 billion because melanin is worth this much per gram.
And we're made of melanin and the white man needs melanin.
And like,
you know how you can find very weird things like the cost of a product per weight and like,
like,
like printer ink.
I was just about to ask,
are black people worth more than printer ink?
No.
And she was thinking,
like, and then she kept going down and like listing her things. It was like white people, I was just about to ask, are black people worth more than printer ink? And she was thinking that. He said no.
And then she kept going down and listing her things.
It was like, white people using it to help sleep and things.
And someone came in and was like, are you talking about.
I can assure you black people are not made of melatonin.
Yeah, that's why we're so lazy.
See?
Jesus Christ.
We always fuck it out.
Guys, I just got a call from my manager.
Even I have to run on this one.
Jesus Christ.
All my sponsors have dropped me.
Bye-bye, fireplace.
I'm going to have to turn that stuff off.
I won't be able to afford it anymore. I'm having a hard time.
It's funny because
those are two words I could see myself mixing up
if I... It's like orgasm
and organism, you know?
Yeah. Who among us didn't actually spell those?
Like, honey, I just had an
organism. She's like, oh, cool.
Did you organism
tonight? I tweeted
recently that every time I read hyperbole i read it as
hyperbole because i do i'm stuck on that and apparently i tweeted that like five years ago
and they gave me shit over it they're like come on i reused a joke but it could happen to anyone
and that was a long time fucking uh neil degrasse tyson does it every year. Oh, yes. Over and over and over.
He was never my friend, to go MMA jokes.
But I feel like the world has turned on Neil deGrasse Tyson.
Why?
Everyone is just, they find him to be pompous.
He watches every sci-fi movie and just like,
that's not really what low grab is like.
If you poked a hole in the side
of that space station it wouldn't suck like that just like sucks the fun out of everything i think
it's good to know because like like like science fiction movie tropes for example like that happens
a lot i remember watching uh alien resurrection when i was like 10 or 11 years old and there's
this scene where she she melts a hole in the,
inside the spaceship with some acid and then kind of pushes the,
the alien against it.
And it likes,
like sucks him inside out through the hole.
It's,
I just believe that was a thing because,
you know,
there's no pressure out there and there's pressure in here,
but there's only like eight or 10 PSI in here.
It would be marginally uncomfortable
if you just stuck your thumb in the hull of a spaceship.
I agree.
Even if I had somebody around in the spaceship explaining it to me,
like, Taylor, you could just put your thumb here,
and here's the whiteboard.
I know you're retarded, but I explain the math.
You're going to be fine.
I'd be like, nah, you do it.
Nah, I've seen that movie i know what happens
you bitch i want to get sucked out in uh avengers infinity war the guy the spider-man who's young
is like you know that really really old movie aliens and then he gets sucked out and flies out
yeah i think it's great i mean it's a new form of entertainment kind of like criticizing
a movie based on i'm the only one i think it's i am very smart material for for the
sub he is very smart he is and he plays a guy it's just a tweet i you know it's my understanding
that neil degrasse tyson is a scientist but amongst scientists scientists, he's normal. It's like saying an accountant is really smart
because he can talk about taxes.
No, he's just tax literate, right?
Like he gets it in a way that average people don't.
Bill Nye showed up at a real science conference
and he's like, oh shit,
somebody's going to ask me something, a science-y,
and I'm up shit creek.
Isn't his goal as you know like a scientist
to educate people and then this is his
you know two cents he's
contributing I agree that's like you telling your kid
about her math teacher you think
Miss Johnson is smart but oh no
well it doesn't matter how smart
she is it's very important that you pay attention
to her because she knows some shit that you don't
I get it like all Miss Johnson
is in this situation is smart enough to teach you or you know the child version of you or whatever i just feel like he
comes across like right there's stephen hawking and brian cox and other people i can't even name
and neil degrasse tyson it's like no no no that that's that's like putting your high school
science teacher in the same league as those genuinely outstanding scientists.
Yeah, yeah.
I don't think of him as like – I mean he's not an astrophysicist or anything.
He's not one of those guys who saw the –
I thought he was an astrophysicist.
Is he?
What does he do?
He's an astrophysicist.
We're talking about Neil deGrasse Tyson.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I think he's like the head of that planetarium in New York or whatever.
But I don't think that –
He was on the Council of
Planetary Removal.
If you look up Neil deGrasse Tyson on
Wikipedia, his title is
American Astrophysicist.
Wow.
If the man is an astrophysicist,
we really shouldn't...
He's not amongst astrophysicists.
Yeah, that's what I'm saying.
Dude, I can name all the planets.
Hasn't Neil deGrasse Tyson
kind of just become...
He's a very smart guy,
of course, but he's not Albert Einstein
or Stephen Hawking smart.
He's not breaking new ground.
He's just explaining broken ground to regular people.
He's more of a cool
science guy, right? He's more of a
science entertainer.
And that's how he's become famous.
He's become famous for that science
well, that astrophysicist guy.
Oh, he's super fucking
smart, I would think.
Oh, he did go to Harvard.
He earned a bachelor's degree in physics from
Harvard University. Okay, correct that.
He's smarter than Einstein.
A doctorate in astrophysics from Columbia University,
and he did his post-doctorate work at Princeton.
Seems like a smart guy.
Actually, I'm stating correct.
You can't make fun of him when he tweets the exact same jokes five Christmases in a row.
That's my point.
That's my only point.
Taylor, you're right, and I think I was – he's better than I thought, actually.
I didn't realize he had –
He's better than I thought, and I'm a big fan.
He had – his undergrad's at Harvard, his PhD,
and it looks like his master's is at Columbia.
And people don't know Columbia is also an Ivy League school.
And he's also worked at Princeton.
And I thought he was a little more everyday.
He's the kind of guy i feel like you keep a conversation
if you met if i met him at an airport bar i bet i could get 10 flights by just saying incorrect
things about the cause by just being like dude there's got to be at least six planets out there
he's like well actually uh we've got nine here eight now because we got rid of
pluto and i'm like how big is the universe like twice the size of the sun or something
like i feel like he's the kind of guy who would like all these guys are so smart that they're a
little on the spectrum i feel like and so they like have to get their point out and express
things and they're usually talking about stuff so complex
That he might not even realize that I'm trolling and just answer things genuinely
I mean, I've seen his credit means he's a better person than me. Have you seen the Katy Perry?
Interview he did I've seen everything she's done. No, no, I mean I've seen everything and Neil deGrasse Tyson's done
But it's a it's a famous meme
and she goes it's a famous meme. And she goes,
is science related to math or something like that?
Or is math related to science?
And then he goes and answers it as if it's like,
you know, just the most normal question in the world.
Well, that's like what his skill would have to be,
is answering questions that like
they know are retarded because of their depth of knowledge but being like oh that's a good
question actually blah blah blah blah blah like they're like that's why you can't really hate the
guy you know it really even just like him he's just trying to get yeah he has a great voice for
explaining things very calming but he also like he really is just trying to explain how stars work
and shit yeah that's i'm a huge fan of his i love that thing that seth mcfarland produced on fox the
um the the cosmos the you know the rejuvenation of cosmos i love a good one i love that so much
uh i've seen every episode of that i love the animation that you know the whole thing the whole
thing it's wonderful i like that guy a lot i'd love to meet that guy and talk to that guy because i feel like he is like like you mentioned that a
lot of those super smart guys or have to be somewhere on the spectrum and that makes them
kind of weirdly anti-social in a lot of ways and you couldn't have a normal conversation
he's the opposite like like he he's a super socialized version of a genius and it seems
like he's capable of carrying on a conversation
with a child who's, who's learning for the first time, you know, Mercury, where Mercury is and
where Venus is and, and what, you know, what planets are, but he's equally adept at speaking
to fellow intellectuals about really difficult physics topics. I agree with Kyle. So I'm correcting myself from 10 minutes ago.
It appears that he's a top 10% scientist, right?
He's top 10% even amongst other scientists.
Top 1%.
Could be.
To me, okay?
To me.
All right, fine.
To you.
To me.
But unlike the other people in that 10%,
he's also a professional communicator.
Yeah, exactly. And that's why he's so famous,
right? And that's why he does those tweets
to entertain people, plus he's super smart.
Yeah, Taylor.
Yeah, Taylor.
Suck on that. He would see
right through your six-planet ruse.
My
elaborate ruse to keep him busy
at the fucking Applebee's on the go
did you guys talk about um the the ninth planet or or whatever they call it
the pluto we're talking about no no no the new one yeah i was gonna say
yeah so taylor says we're down to eight i think we might be getting to 10 or something
so what they're saying is that there is massive, like, what do you call them?
Exoplanets.
Celestial bodies is the word I was looking for.
That are outside but still inside of our solar system.
But they're really, really far away.
And then the models they were making for like how our solar system is moving around,
were showing that something wasn't right. And if they put a massive planet or massive,
it's very big for us humans in this simulation, it worked. So they've theorized about this new planet, which
takes like 20,000 years for one loop around the sun.
And it doesn't even get anywhere close to Pluto,
but they still think it exists.
And it would be like in another planet.
That's pretty cool.
That's not, I feel like, I i mean not that i don't care about
what you said but i feel like nobody cares because like that because that was like that when i was
doing the um the solar system diagram in like elementary school like that was known then like
we were talking about it then they were calling it planet x and that's what they call it now still
planet x yeah and pluto was still a planet back then but
yeah i think what you're saying is they they uh they looked at the orbits of all the known planets
they can map those very accurately and then but but they there was some deviation that could only
be caused by by planet x by some extra gravity out there by by another planet and there's no
telling how many planets are out. When do they take Pluto?
They're saying that there are 12 planets now
if the resolution is passed.
So you know in order,
Mercury, Venus, Earth, Mars.
Then comes Ceres, C-E-R-E-S.
Then Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, Neptune, Pluto, Charon.
Sorry, my what?
Ceres and Charon.
Obviously, 2003 UB 313
I didn't capture those Pokemon
my Pokedex is not full so I'm not
familiar with Cirrus or Charon
C-H-A-R-O-N
how would you pronounce that?
I'm not saying you mispronounce it
I'm just saying
that's a moon of Pluto's isn't it?
aren't they in a binary system?
probably
don't tell me I don't know that or whatever that is. That's a moon of Pluto's, isn't it? Aren't they in a binary system? Probably. But they hype these things up.
Don't tell me. I don't know that.
Yeah.
You know what I mean.
I'm joking. No, I don't know, Taylor. This is all new information
to me. I could look it up.
They hype a
planet X up as if
there's alien life on there.
But there's going to be absolutely nothing on there.
It's going to be a frozen planet. that's what the colonists want you to believe
that's what they want you to believe what you if you show up there you're gonna find
is the last remaining radio shack
yeah it turns out sharon is part of a moon system with Pluto yeah so how does
Pluto get the axe then they're throwing
its moon in the mix according to this resolution
Pluto is back and
Charon maybe as the
what did you call it by something planets
like I thought it was called like a
binary thing yeah maybe
if they rotate around each other I don't know one isn't
the moon and they're just both planets
okay I made that up but you know that it seems to make sense no I choose to believe Yeah, maybe if they rotate around each other, one isn't the moon and they're just both planets.
Okay.
I made that up, but it seems to make sense.
No, I choose to believe it.
Yeah.
Okay, then.
Well, in any case.
2003, UB 313, that one.
That's my favorite.
In any case, I love all those documentaries about fucking space and the universe and all that stuff.
Would you guys go to Mars if SpaceX does that thing?
No.
No.
I think we've been asked this question
before and I said, yeah.
Would you go to the North Pole?
Yeah, that's way closer
than Mars.
I'd go to the North Pole because they'd let me come back.
I feel like asking if you'd go to Mars
is parallel to asking would you go to Mars is parallel to asking
would you like to commit suicide
in a really fantastic way
yeah
first of all
I watched a clip the other day
I don't remember which astronaut
but it was an astronaut who had been in space for 172 days
I want to say
which is roughly 6 months
the trip to Mars is about seven months.
This guy was walking like he had cerebral palsy or something.
It was an incredible struggle for him.
He was being assisted.
No, but he had this thing attached to him,
and he had helpers on either side.
It was like physical therapy for someone who had received a serious spinal injury and and some that he was fighting he's like they said i'd never walk again
but look at this that's the lord telling us to stay in our lane first of all forgot all things
are possible it'll like he said that right before he i didn't mean that okay so i gave you this whole
planet i feel like we we all agree on going to Mars is a little bit of a crazy mission.
Would you guys go to the moon, you know, a little flyby?
Oh, yeah.
Would you do that?
So the reason I wouldn't go to Mars is...
Flyby to the moon.
Yeah, you know, they're selling tickets for that where, you know, a rocket just cruises around the moon, comes back, and, you know, lands, hopefully lands hopefully yeah of course i would do that because that to me seems really safe but the the
moon thing it seems like landing is going to be a real bitch right they gotta use this retrograde
rockets like like elon musk uses to to reland his uh his uh spacex rocket whatever spacex rocket
things you might just not make it all right and do make it, you're going to be all
like, unless they've got a gym
on board that thing
where there's a spinning gravity thing.
That's what they're looking at now.
Those things work like two-thirds of the time.
What are you worried about?
How long does it take to get to the moon
with a rocket?
Depends how fast you go.
It really depends how fast you go. Really depends how fast you go.
It's a quarter million miles, I think.
If you have enough fuel,
if you have a big enough rocket,
you could do it in no time, right?
You could do it in a day.
I don't want to rush there. I want to go safe.
About three days, according to Google.
There you go.
Actually, that's the Apollo mission,
so one might guess they're faster now, but I don't know.
I don't know. Have, I don't know.
Have you guys ever played Kerbal Space Program?
No, but it interests me.
Great, great, great thing.
So it really depends on the fuel you have.
What's your plan?
A flyby or do you want to land there, right?
Like, I think one of those SpaceX rockets that can go to Mars can probably go to the moon within a day and back.
If not faster, who knows?
If you have the fuel, you can keep on accelerating,
accelerating, accelerating.
You have to slow down.
Slingshot around that bitch.
No.
I saw it in Stellar.
Sandra Bullock talked about that.
You don't have to, exactly.
But you have to slow down on your way back or actually when you're right behind the moon.
That's when you slow down.
I don't want to go to the moon that's when you i'm not i'm not
i don't want to go to the moon until they have like an arcade or a bar and i was about to say
when they've got a starbucks sign me up my standards are lying around the moon is cool
i'm not 100 sure if they need air conditioning or heat but when they have the one i want
then uh then i'm ready yeah they need fucking both i think i think i think in the sunlight
it probably gets pretty fucking hot
and then in the shadows
it gets really fucking cold.
Kyle, I would have believed either one.
I believe both and I have no
information.
I'm not doing the Mars thing because I think
it's a suicide mission for that
first group of people.
Even if it isn't, it's going to be
worse than like
living aboard a nuclear submarine like like well if you've ever seen one of those doc one of the
shows it shows like how cramped it is and like the biggest problem is you know let's say you go
you let's say you go on holiday okay we go to a faraway place like thailand or something uh you
know worst case scenario everything everything goes wrong. You're
like, ah, get on a flight back. 12 hours later, you're back home, right? If you go to Mars,
it's like a nine month mission there or however long it's going to take. You land there. Thank
God everything went great. Now you're inside of this submarine. You know, the moment you step
outside, you'll die. You're under pressure from radiation and everything
and now you gotta wait it like a year or so before the planets are aligned again properly
so you can start your ninth month nine month journey back home right you're not selling me
yeah and there's no internet there as far as we know right ruin your career as far as we know
you have like an eight.
Let's say you cannot even call anybody because it's an eight minute to 40 minute like lag.
There is internet in Mars.
PKA,
I won't be able to do it if I'm in Mars,
at Mars,
you know,
on Mars.
Yeah.
When I worked at Cisco,
that was like one of,
so I didn't work on this project.
Don't let me oversell it.
But I remember our people telling us about it.
Like,
yeah,
we're working on like getting the internet to mars and all the like challenges like uh there's
something called time to live on a tcpip packet that time to live might be like a few seconds
you know and if you don't get it in a few seconds we just drop it and send it again
but because it takes like 20 minutes to get to mars it's like a whole different thing and they
had to rework the protocol to some extent.
That's why I know it has shitty internet.
But internet.
Yeah I think I talked about it a few shows ago.
But on Netflix there's this thing called Mars.
And it's this weird.
Quasi documentary.
Slash.
Like fictional story.
Where they jump back and forth between like.
The Apollo program 2015 when Elon Musk is just trying to get off the ground literally oh yeah and like 2035 like the first
Mars mission which is all fictional of course and like and it's like acted out with actors and stuff
and I thought it was worth watching it's it's a quick watch you can you could binge watch a
documentary or it's a mixture right so so like there's as they jump back and forth they tell you the story
of the space program so like they'll start out and they're in the year 2035 and it's time to land
the spaceship and then they jump back in time to 2015 because the technology to do that is what
elon musk is was was beginning to do in 2015 i mean i'm asking because i had my watch
phase and my art phase and maybe soon i'll have my rocket building phase you know yeah i'm joking
yeah um oh by the way i looked up the type of the moon and kyle's right it varies between
this is all celsius negative 173 and 100 both of which are temperatures that suck for people.
Yeah, those aren't living temperatures.
Now, I'm being sarcastic if this is a dumb question.
Have we ever explored anything we could build on Mercury?
Because I know all the other... Is it too hot in Mercury?
Why'd you skip Venus? I'm just curious.
Venus is a gaseous planet.
No, no, no, no. Venus is actually...
Oh, no, it's not. Venus is
under that horrible carpet of atmosphere
that nothing could survive in.
That's where we live the first time, but we put too much
carbon in, and that's what happens.
They're saying Venus is
actually, after Mars,
the second best planet to live in.
Actually,
you would live above the above the clouds um in like
hot air balloons or whatever yeah that's like making a list of who you'd prefer to rape you
like none of them are it's a great analogy i love it it's never gonna be as good as living you know
as not being raped yeah yeah yeah mercury. Mercury is crazy, crazy hot.
It's very, very close to the sun.
Venus is also...
No, not for us living there.
I mean, like,
have we like ever looked at like,
oh, we can drill into Mercury
and get whatever the fuck is in Mercury.
I think there's nothing there.
Well, if we were going to do space mining,
then they would just catch asteroids.
That'd be the cheap way to do that.
I have Mercury's temperature.
Yeah, what is it?
It goes down to negative 279 Fahrenheit and up to 800 Fahrenheit.
Yeah, no good.
Lead melts there.
That's a bad place.
Lead melts at like 700.
Yeah.
Imagine you'd be in molten lead.
If you could swim in molten lead, you might be okay on Mercury.
And I want to say that atmosphere of Venus is like sulfuric acid or something.
Yeah, it's pretty bad.
Yeah, it's no good.
No good at all.
The thing about Mars that they were saying is, and they talk about it in this little show that I watched on Netflix, the radiation there is no good because there's no atmosphere to speak of.
The surface temperature of Venus, because so much heat is trapped in the carbon dioxide atmosphere,
is 872 degrees Fahrenheit.
And the lowest it gets is 467 degrees.
That's why you would live above the clouds. And about Mars, they're looking at if they're going there, that they might stay in like caves lava tubes yeah yeah the lava tubes
exactly yeah that's um that's a big part of that mars uh show i was talking about oh okay they have
to find the right lava tube to get inside of it a lava tube is um it's where lava used to pass
through and now it doesn't and so there's basically a big cylindrical cave, a tube created by the magma flow.
Yeah, which then stops the radiation
because Mars doesn't have a magnetic field
or a very weak one.
I heard Elon Musk might not be CEO of Tesla anymore.
Yeah, he may not.
It depends on what is the FEC?
SEC?
SEC?
Yeah, SEC.
Whenever I hear that, I'm like,
whoo!
Southeastern Conference.
Yeah, that's right.
UGA!
UGA!
I was like, why do they care what Musk does?
They're the bigger fish to fry with the Big Ten.
Honestly, they're just too powerful.
But yeah, he keeps making those tweets,
and they're going to slap him on the wrist like one more time i
think and then after that they're gonna they're gonna really it's so musk is uh i'm making up
numbers because i am too two-thirds full of shit and that's fine when he's promising self-driving
cars and delivering self-driving badly cars you, because people are excited just to get whatever they can.
Do they drive badly?
I'm told they drive a little bit like first-time drivers,
you know, where like, can a 16-year-old drive?
Yes.
Do they need your supervision?
Also, yes.
So, you know, like someone who's a learning permit,
like that's the level that they are right now.
So, and that's fine when he's kind of like over promising on features to happy customers but when he over promises on like units per month
or earnings per share well that becomes sec violations you can't just like pump up things
that impact your stock price like that and he keeps getting in trouble yeah they need to leave
him alone nobody was looking over benjamin Benjamin Franklin's fucking shoulder and being like,
ah, a new light bulb by next year.
He's just like, I'm trying to make something happen here.
I've been using horse hair.
I mean, he's become a celebrity, right?
The CEOs from the big, big companies nowadays like Jeff Bezos,
they're not just CEOs anymore.
They have more Twitter followers and Instagram followers than all of us combined, which is interesting.
They're changing the world.
They're interesting.
They're neat.
They're doing cool stuff.
I like rich people.
In my universe, everyone has their own view into the universe.
I see a lot on Reddit, and I see these people like, oh my god,
Paint Jeff Bezos is a really bad person because he's rich,
which means that, of course, it's built on the backs of slave labor and things like that.
I don't agree. You know, he's doing something
amazing, and I think that makes him interesting. I'd like to see
what he does in space.
Is he doing stuff in space?
Yes. With Blue Origin?
He will be doing stuff
in space. I don't think he's done very much yet.
They actually already have a rocket which
was able to take off
and land.
Wait, it took off and landed? That's like the
SpaceX magic. But not
from orbit.
They went to lower space and then went back. It took off and landed? That's like the SpaceX magic. But not from orbit.
They went to lower space and then went back.
I'm going to count it.
I'm going to... Judges?
There are three different space companies right now.
You have Virgin Galactic, Blue Origin, and SpaceX.
And they're all trying to go for a different piece of the market.
I don't know exactly what.
But it's like SpaceX wants to colonize other planets
and make space travel cheap.
Then you have Virgin Galactic,
which wants to get like little tourist trips to space
where you fly around the moon and come back
or you go into space and come back.
And then I believe Jeff Bezos' company
wants to get people to work in space.
So have like a space hotel and those type of things.
I believe that's what it is.
Yeah, I'm sure he would like to deliver packages to space.
He just needs to get some people up there.
That's what it is.
It better be covered by Prime.
Space rockets are actually, they could be an alternative to
airplanes too because you know going into space then flying around for at 20 000 miles per hour
or whatever crazy speed uh and then landing might actually be faster and cheaper at one point in the
future than just flying around in a in a in an airbus or a jet or whatever.
So delivering packages could also be faster and cheaper,
possibly in the future, you know, who knows.
Have you guys ever thought and sat around and been like,
man, the world would suck if everyone were as dumb as I am?
Like, have you guys ever thought about that?
No, but...
Not in my case.
There are people out there who can figure this stuff out.
Because if you gave me every tool imaginable
and immortality and more infinite time,
I couldn't invent a cell phone.
Like, I couldn't figure that out.
It's interesting, though.
Nobody can.
Nobody can.
And you think, well think well no clearly somebody did
but yeah like it what baffled me this is 15 years ago they're like no one knows how a mouse works
literally not a single human on the planet can tell you how your computer mouse works yeah and
i'm like well that can't be true because mice work but no it's a team it's all divvied up one guy
understands the hardware and another guy defined the protocol.
Another guy knows it on the receiving end all the way to the BIOS and the USB.
And yeah, there's no person who understands from beginning to end how our mouse works.
That's what I was going to say too, that I bet it's a lot of people doing a lot of little things, you know?
Yeah.
Yeah, probably.
I think that's what makes it more impressive. it i mean a bunch of me's aren't
putting that together either yeah yeah i do see where your tailor does the receiver this tailor
mapped out the protocol oh the protocol i know what that means yeah 600 years later written by
me who also doesn't know how to do it 600 years later one of them made a leather iphone case and that's all the progress they have now we just have to make the iphone
maybe i've learned so maybe that's why they always say you know apple has gone to shit
they're not innovating anymore because you know the person who invented the iphone and
came up with the idea they've long like they're dead or they've left the company
and now it's just like, I know how to improve a camera.
I know how to improve a touchscreen.
I know how to improve speakers, you know?
It's just a crazy conspiracy.
Dude, I miss Apple when they did more stuff.
I want more progress.
They seem a little bit follower now.
It used to be,
I'm pulling these numbers out of my hat,
but it seemed like Apple did half the new stuff
and then the Android universe did half the new stuff.
That doesn't feel that true anymore.
Usually they would just look at what somebody else does
and then copy it but make it 10 times as good.
How much new stuff is there to do?
I made this argument a few weeks ago when I was like, yeah, I just bought this $200 Android phone because it does everything every other fucking phone in the world does.
I don't get it.
I don't get why I need like the newest, greatest Apple because what does it do that mine doesn't?
And I'm open to that discussion.
I want to know.
It's not a rhetorical question.
I'm not trying to act like I'm smarter than the people who buy apples.
How is the computer text integration
in the Android universe?
It has a Chromebook sort of thing that it'll
do. I just don't use it.
Oh, that would be a big deal to me, actually.
Yeah.
What is? What do you mean?
The iMessage universe.
If you're not an Apple person,
you're familiar.
Oh, you mean just text messaging apps?
Yeah, I guess.
But it's on my – I have an Apple.
I have a MacBook Pro.
So on there, I can type all my texts.
And then on my phone, of course, I can do what your text can do too.
And the fact that they're just so integrated and you open –
the computers are great now, laptops.
You just open them.
They instantly turn on and all my texts are there that's functionality that i'd have a hard time
living without yeah yeah i think i can do that with the i think i think it does that with chromebook
i i see like it asked me if i want to set that shit up all the time and i just don't is that
okay i don't care it's not a big thing to me me, of course, I need very little out of a phone.
I just need to call and send messages and use messaging apps and order food from Postmates.
And if it'll do all that, I'm pretty fucking happy.
But I see all the features are there.
It does all the facial recognition and thumbprint scanning
and voice recognition and all that crap.
Really nice pictures nowadays, too.
Yeah, you know.
It's a real camera.
Yeah, absolutely. it's great um so so i don't know i don't know what the next big innovation for a camera will be
for me the thing i would love is if it did holograms like if if my if my phone's sitting
there flat on the table would project a fucking thing up here that would do shit and maybe i could
even interact with it that'd be crazy speaking of
holograms have you guys seen the new um hololens hololens no tell me about it so uh microsoft has
is this ar but they don't really call it ar it's it's some some different term ar is augmented
reality so you know the the thing kyle showed us all a couple years ago where you'd play games?
Augmented reality, we lost Taylor for a second, is when you see through like sunglasses, but they also project images.
So maybe as you walk down the streets of New York in front of Starbucks, there's a coupon there that's twirling in front of their front door, whatever.
I'm sorry, carry on.
there that's twirling in front of their front door, whatever. I'm sorry, carry on.
Yeah. So the first version was this bulky piece of hardware you put on your head and you had a really small field of view, which then would project, it would make it seem like there's
a hologram in front of you, right? But there's nothing there. But obviously the headset does
the magic. And they've recently announced their second version of it, which improves the field of
view through some crazy technology, which shoots like light into a mirror, which is
vibrating really fast left and right, which is projecting it into your eyes, which sounds
ridiculous.
Because like, oh, I was thinking, oh, you put a screen in front of your eyes and that's
it.
But instead, it's like a little thing shooting it in your eyes.
And you can actually interact with the hologram.
So it has a camera in the front and you can now have these like holograms in your office
and it looks crazy cool.
And then you can grab it and pull it out and stick it to your wall.
And you're like oh hey this
youtube video is fun you put it there meanwhile your friends you know pka everybody here has a
little headset on like i can see you in my room and i can see the exact same stuff you have put
on the walls and we can work on this school project together oh my walls would be so filthy
you could do it you you put it on you walk
in and there you go imagine a future where your auto mechanic doesn't need much skill right like
yeah you know how do you replace an alternator well like you put this thing on and there's like
the the bolts turn red or glowing or something the ones you need to remove the alternator and do that job. And that extends...
Surgeries will be like that?
It could be.
No, let's not go that far.
Yeah.
Surgeries are a little less standardized
than like a Ford F-150.
But maybe, right?
Because people are big and small and fat.
Yeah, you see like a cartoon scalpel
going like up and down.
All right, I guess that's where the opinion is.
That's good.
Now you're an orthopedic surgeon.
Doesn't need to be skilled anymore.
It's funny that you said that
because those are the people Microsoft is targeting with this headset.
And those are the people they showed in their promo reel where it's a doctor who's like putting it on.
And they can see like, oh, here, we can see the heart.
And it's like turning around.
But I can definitely see them like, oh, here's the appendix.
Let's cut that out.
Google Glass like dip their toe into
this a couple years ago and uh it didn't didn't take off part of it was social i think right
everyone called them glass holes and hated to see them and uh yeah but it's we'll see maybe at some
point you'll look like a flipping peasant if you don't have augmented reality.
You'll be missing out on half of what we see,
assuming I'm not in the peasants.
You know what's really scary is what China's doing
with their social credit system.
Scary? It's awesome.
I think it's awesome.
It's not awesome at all.
That's terrifying.
Can I say something?
You just want to spit.
I think it's great except
for china censorship and sometimes like you know you're not allowed to criticize anybody else your
social credit score goes goes down but besides that put cameras everywhere you know track
everybody's behavior if you commit a crime that we got him no no not you can't do anything you can't go anywhere uh without you know you've done nothing wrong you have nothing to pay my tax dollars this is the
most big i never jay all dystopian scary shit where it's like well we can't let the random
odd job rob 7-eleven so i guess yeah you can film me in my home it's getting even crazier so they're
developing these technologies
and now already they have it in Japan
where they have this AI or whatever it is,
which can see on your, just based on your behavior,
if you're about to go shoplifting.
Right, so yeah, because you know,
like when somebody's shoplifting,
they're looking around, left and right.
How did the computer know?
Well, it's trained to recognize blacks.
Oh, Jesus Christ!
Okay, guys, I'm done
for today.
That was fun, guys. Warning! Melatonin
detected!
Yeah, my agent's calling again.
On a real note, I've read that
I don't know if it's Tesla's, but I think
it is. They're more likely to hit you
if you're dark-skinned. Like, it just doesn't detect them as well.'s, but I think it is. They're more likely to hit you if you're dark skinned.
Like it just doesn't detect them as well.
Some of this AI shit is racist.
You're so anti-Elon Musk.
You're like, I end.
No.
Tesla's even racist.
That one wasn't real.
I just read it.
And I actually saw a couple other things that tied in.
Like Hewlett Packard had this like face recognition type thing.
And it didn't work well with black people and something else i'm forgetting but like different face
detections where like the you know photography doesn't always pick up black people well
especially if the camera's tuned for a white person it won't work well on a black person
and and one of them was like it was like a uh like a white person with a black person it was
like the prom date and the caption and you can't see the black person at all he's just a black silhouette and they're like she hadn't even unlocked her prom
date yeah but back to back to the cameras so they can note they notice like hey you're about to go
shoplifting and then they could technically you know go up to you or send a security guard but you can take that a step further because if if you know shoplifting is a
thing they can see whenever you're about to uh you know buy drugs from somebody when you did some
other illegal stuff like i bet that i need to notice when i have to take a shit really bad
i need you to recognize my body language that I'm walking a little funny
and I'm squeezing my ass together.
Oh, hey, my watch just peeped. You're about to take a shit.
Oh, it looks like... Oh, thank God.
Thank God Big Brother was watching.
There's a toilet 30 meters away.
Like the Matrix.
A blue line on the ground
like in Dead Space right to the toilet.
Right to it, yeah.
I need a quick line to the toilet
that's the future right do the credit score thing so i like i get where taylor's coming from on the
craziness of it just like big brother watching in a way we've never seen big brother watch before
on the other hand there's a lot of assholes in china just spitting hawking up lugers
and stealing and smoking
and doing things that they need to be punished
for. They're only trying to
solve a legitimate problem. Those Chinese
throwing around their
40s era German handguns
Those are collector's items
Yeah. Wait, what?
They're throwing, oh lugers
hawk a loogie?
Is it not?
Oh, I don't even want this handgun anymore i don't care you can dock my point i'm not taking it
uh yeah that whole thing is really scary i mean it's it's no coincidence there's a
fucking black mirror episode about that scary ass shit yeah and here's the thing who decides
like your credit score always makes sense, right?
It's like, oh, you didn't pay your bill.
You lose points.
Oh, you paid all your bills on time.
You gain points.
But do you know the rules?
Like they have these high-speed trains
that run on a tight schedule.
That matters.
If you're holding the door open for your friend
and the whole train is delayed,
fuck your social credit score.
You know what you did.
Yeah, but it gets troublesome when you can't criticize politics.
Or if you do criticize...
That would make the show better.
Yeah, it would.
But also, if you're pro-politics and pro a specific party, your social credit score goes up.
So if you tweet good stuff about, hey, I love this political party who's in charge of everything and who's going to do really bad things if I don't talk nicely about them.
I bet Xi Jinping has a huge wiener.
Yeah, not like boom, rup.
He's Asian, Taylor.
That's a terrible bet. If you call him Winnie the Pooh,
legit, no joke,
your social credit score goes down.
Right?
And you most likely get arrested
or, I don't know,
your kidneys get harvested.
I mean, any government on Earth
is going to do that.
Did you see that clip from Russia
where the guy threw something
at the statue of Stalin
and they, like like tackle his ass
and drag him away to prison oh wow no they still have statues that was this week yeah it wasn't
lenin i'm 100 sure it was stalin and there was it's i don't know what what it was stalin's
birthday or some shit because there were a lot of people gathered around this bust of stalin
and then they were like in a line to like look at it and be nice to
it I guess I'm confused like Stalin or hate Stalin right now depends who you
are right you know most Russians do not care for Stalin yeah Putin's very
popular but that's totally a different guy yeah they kind of rhyme different yeah they sound similar lenin putin stop their names all end in n's folks
that guy with a weird wine stain head not him but most of the others
yeah some some guy i don't know what he threw at it like a handful of pebbles or something it's
not like he threw oh really it's not like he threw something that would damage a a marble
be gross like an egg yeah it i could you couldn't even see what he threw it was like he threw something that would damage a or even be gross like an egg yeah it i could you
couldn't even see what he threw it was like he threw beans at it or something like that and and
they and and the cops that grabbed him looked hardcore too they're they're fucking wearing
shamogs and shit and they grabbed his ass headlocked drag drug him off took him away
like damn yeah i'm glad we don't have anything like that here we can say the scariest white people russians are the scariest white people can i can i i mean there's a couple like a
you know group of europeans where any guy you see like lifting a box out of a truck is like
that guy probably competes yeah i've never seen the russians are the scariest white people like
stand-up routine? No.
Oh, I probably got it from that.
I don't even remember. Yeah, it's funny.
The guy's like, you know,
how to exist in bad neighborhoods and stuff.
And a black guy like,
what are you doing here?
What are you doing in this neighborhood?
Oh, you think this bad neighborhood?
Oh, I've seen that.
Yeah, he does.
You think this bad neighborhood?
All of a sudden, you're scared.
I wish we had somebody here who was really good at being like a Russian voice.
Taylor does a good one.
Yeah.
Yeah, we knew someone else.
My girlfriend's from Macedonia, and her parents are like,
Hello, Jordi, how do you do?
Hello, nice to see you, my friend.
So how long have you been with your girlfriend now?
Three years almost.
Been a while.
Two years and nine months.
Yes, still in love.
No babies yet.
Is that on the docket?
Some little quebs running around?
Eventually, yes, but we're so busy.
We are...
Quebble tots.
There's a... No, no, no we're so busy. We are... Quebble Tots. There's a...
No, no, no.
Yes.
Get the Twitter handle.
There's a name for it.
There's a name for no kids, double full-time work, no kids or something.
It's Dink, dual income, no kids.
That's it.
That's it.
So we're dinking it right now.
And we're both doing great.
She gets like double my YouTube views every month.
And I'm already doing really well. yeah yeah that's great man you guys are killing it you're like a
a power power couple right so it's our actually our our goal to become the first youtube couple
who both have 10 million subscribers how close is she uh she's six months away. Damn.
Wait, is anybody in the running?
Nope.
No, the closest people who are really close, they just broke up.
Oh.
So, yeah.
Hell yeah.
That's great news.
Yeah, I mean.
Who is it that was also close? The next step is to bring the girl from that couple into your relationship and become the first three-way
couple with 30 million subs.
Too much to handle for me.
It was
Alex Wasabi and
Laura DIY.
Laura DIY.
Both really, really close
to 10 million, but I believe they
recently broke up. I heard it like last week.
Laura DIY. Well, I hope they stay apart for your up. I heard it like last week. Laura DIY.
Well, I hope they stay apart for your benefit.
I mean, it doesn't matter
because we were on record to pass them
anyways. Oh, you were projecting
well anyway. Yes.
The rules are 10 million
each, not average.
Oh, yeah. Of course.
Laura DIY is not that attractive.
She has no Lumi.
That's not doing it for me.
I mean, is Lumi that anorexic girl?
No, absolutely not.
No, she's a really attractive streamer.
She used to be a guy?
No, no, no.
This has always been a lady.
You're not going gonna find any good
Different way we just got really interested. She used to be a guy
Yeah
Oh well if it's used to be I'm not interested I was gonna try to segue into a
youtuber who may not have 10 million subscribers, but
He's absolutely fascinating and he's on a hot streak and that's only used me played
He's absolutely fascinating and he's on a hot streak and that's only use me blade
From what I understood well, he's been he's been teaming up with ice beside for a little bit now Yeah, and I haven't seen the the newest clip
I don't know what has happened but Chiz linked us a video and
Accompanying the video a timestamp
Imager link which shows at various timestamps
a timestamp imager link which shows at various timestamps excuse me the horrible things that only use me blade is doing in this video talking through that burp struggling that's yeah yeah i'm
not drinking i i had really bad heartburn and i drank like a bunch of alka-seltzer before the show
and it's just gurgling in there i'm looking for oh i i it. Yeah, could you relink it for me, please? I'm afraid to
tab out because it freezes
my camera because
this isn't a $4,000 computer
or anything.
Do you need one? I have like six left
in my basement.
Yeah, I'll take one.
I'm looking
for the imagery link that goes with it. Sorry.
Yeah, no worries. Sorry. What is this?
Lives his best live drunk.
Oh.
Did I tell you guys?
I did about Ice Poseidon's poopy toilet once.
Yeah, you did.
I sent you guys the picture.
We brought that up to him
and he did not agree with your take.
Ah, come on.
I had a picture.
I don't know.
He was like, ah, that's my guest bathroom, you know?
Maybe I was going to have a fucking photo of it.
But still, your guest bathroom, like, when you invite, I mean, it was, like, seven girls over.
Make sure you've cleaned your toilet, buddy.
So at first, I thought that this imager link of
of things to like go by we'd have to skip around through the video because it'd be like all right
at like three minutes he does this and then at nine minutes he does that but no he's such a cut
up i think that's what the word i'll use that every minute it's a new thing um at one through
three minutes blade should we all play it should we watch it i think we should
we're definitely gonna play it but i just i think i should go through this so you're you're looking
for the things that are coming because sometimes it's hard at one to three minutes blade assaults
the girl by grabbing her ass then shoves her then yells the n-word and attempts to grope her again
this is in what in three minutes in the first three minutes. At four minutes. And then it really
amps up. At four
minutes, he yells,
nigglets, or nigg lips
out loud again.
At five minutes, he's sitting on her
jacket the whole time, and he
pisses himself while sitting there, pissing
on her jacket. Everyone passes
it around to confirm that it's got urine
on it, and there's piss in the chair.
Can we get a play in it?
Wait, wait, continue.
Okay, continue.
At six minutes, this is like reading the TV guide
before you...
At six minutes, he's berating the fuck out of the girl
with more insults and being difficult with people.
At seven minutes and fifteen seconds,
it's confirmed the chair is full of piss.
It's confirmed. At seven minutes and forty-five seconds, Blake continues chair is full of piss. It's confirmed.
At 7 minutes and 45 seconds,
Blake continues to attack the girl
as she calls him out for pissing himself.
Oh, my God.
Let's group watch.
Wait, sorry.
Okay, no, let's watch it.
Sorry.
Let's just get it playing.
I think we're going to be talking over it a lot.
Ready, set, play.
Okay, sit down, Blake.
Why are you all wet?
Why are you all wet in the opening second spoiler oh my god what is that
person the girl yes people say I drink too much
People say I drink too much?
See, now Blade's looking for a hug or some sort of we're friends.
No, this is a trap.
A trap?
He just said, you're on my cock.
Hugs my cock.
Oh, well, maybe you're right and I'm wrong then.
I've watched this by skipping around, so don't know every like second of it but um i was like oh i see blade has going on what i have
going on which is when there's like a beautiful 23 year old in the room stop trying to act like
you're part of the show you're not anymore your time has passed And she doesn't want
She doesn't want Blade
I can't remember the name of the
Blonde girl there but
She's the one who should be on camera
That's a very attractive young lady
You can see her belly and she's holding a phone
Yeah
The other one seems overdressed
For the occasion
Am I crazy?
Yeah Her shirt looks like Queb's painting The other one seems overdressed for the occasion. Am I crazy? Yeah.
Her shirt looks like Queb's painting.
Unless after this they're going to an evening dinner,
like the show or a prom.
I don't know why she has that outfit on
Just keep your eye on blade I think he's
Play just to just try real hard to grab her titty. Is that what you think just happened? Absolutely
I saw it as a push to
No, it was this.
I just missed it.
Why is everyone so excited?
We were talking.
God damn.
Uh, visual bitch.
Yo, she's got the biggest clit ever.
Small clit bitch.
She doesn't like this big dick, nigga.
What just happened?
No, no, no.
You're never right.
You're never right.
You're never right.
You're never right.
You're never right.
You're never right.
You're never right.
You're never right.
You're never right. You're never right. You're never right. You're never right. You're never right. Big dick nigger
What just happened
Who's this dude that just ran in this place they
Blade says the n-word that guy comes in hugs him
You reading out the text before and sounded a lot worse than this video worse. this video. We haven't gotten to three minutes yet.
This is all the first thing.
Yes.
This is Blade assaults girl by grabbing ass,
shoves her, yells the N-bomb. Wasn't that one to three minutes?
Yeah.
We just hit three minutes.
It was the first thing.
But after that, things are apparently ramping up.
At four minutes, he's going to yell,
Nig lips or Nig Lit.
You be the judge.
Wait, who's that individual in the back
who looks like an African priest?
That's Harry Potter.
Don't you know anything?
It's not moving.
He's six feet tall, dude.
I'm trying to hit that fucking high note.
Let's figure it out.
Why don't you stand next to her?
Oh my God, he's so drunk.
No, my dick's huge!
Okay, are you ready?
Are you ready to vote, Blaine?
Is she on drugs or is she just trying to entertain?
Are any of these people sober?
My interpretation,
I could be off, you guys tell me what you think.
She knows that he's urine contaminated,
and she's trying to limit the amount of hugs and high fives.
Big nigglets.
Okay.
Stop saying that.
Stop saying that.
Hey, play. Why don't you go over there? Don't say the N-word. Stop saying that. Stop saying that.
Don't say the N-word.
Blade left the chair.
Okay. Oh, now here.
He kind of went for the little grope there.
Did he?
I was reading the description and missed it.
I do like his brand new clothing yeah this person there with a luchador mask what
was the what was supposed to be happening what are these two guys doing over here standing there?
I just feel like Blade is a legend and deserves the respect of an OG YouTuber,
and he's being treated like part of Ice's whack pack.
You didn't sleep on the floor.
Yeah.
You didn't sleep on a couch cushion on the floor.
What's next?
Is he going to be peeing?
I feel like he's acting like part of Ice Poseidon's whack pack. Did you just pee? You're gonna sleep on a couch cushion on the floor. What's next? Is he gonna be peeing?
Like part of Ice Poseidon's whack pack.
Did you just pee?
Not just pee, no.
That was minutes ago. Oh my god.
I love you so much.
Don't get up.
I swear to god.
I think he's really, really drunk.
Hang on.
Oh, he's blasted.
You think Blade is drunk? Blade is so fucking drunk. Hang on. Oh, he's blasted.
You think Blade is drunk?
Blade is so fucking drunk.
I'm trolling.
I never know.
Only use me, Blade, you say.
Wait, why do they need multiple people to confirm if a jacket has pee on it? He's peeing again.
Can you guys remove Blade from the chair, please?
Yes, please.
Get him out of here.
All right.
Blade.
Come on, Blade. Come on. You got Get him out of here. All right. Blade. Hey, hey, hey.
Come on.
I know.
Come on, Blade.
Come on.
You got to get out of here, boy.
Come on.
You got to blade this and you and Blade.
Oh, no.
Oh, no.
He knows that chair will reveal his guilt.
He needs to stay physically.
Maybe he should just lift him out of the chair.
The longer he stays planted on the chair, the longer he maintains innocence.
I'm here.
I'm here.
They're literally trying to drag Blade out of his office chair to find out if...
I want you to die in a fire.
Yeah.
She does look flammable.
It's subtle. She does look flammable What the fuck is the luchador guy doing?
It's subtle I notice Blade is slurring his words a little
Oh
Yeah it's very subtle
A little
Just a tidbit
Oh this is embarrassing
I wonder how much he drank
All of it?
Yeah.
Here's the thing.
So I've seen Blade drink before, and I was shocked by how cool he kept it.
Like, even though he was drunk, he just had a style and coolness to being drunk that you don't normally see.
Has he lost that, or is he playing up the drinking?
He's just drinking more now.
I mean, we were at a bar.
I drank the same amount
as blade that night if you're talking about the night we went to that like cowgirl bar where
they're dancing on the on the on the uh i remember being a little classier and it was like a pf
chang's maybe oh oh he wasn't he was barely drinking there he had eight or nine yeah i
didn't remember that okay yeah i here Here was one of his baller moves.
The waitress shows up with the invoice.
I don't know what to call it.
The check.
And she's like, it's $90.
It's all the drinks.
And he goes, oh, give me one more.
It was just so badass.
Like, you know, you think that's a problem.
Let's raise it.
Oh, there's so. Shut the fuck up, dude. You really think I'd be on the chair, dude? one more it was just so badass like like you know you think that's a problem let's raise it oh this is embarrassing now they're all sniffing his crotch to smell the piss they're talking to
ice there's a chance he'd do it dude that guy in the wizard outfit is so uncomfortable.
He's great.
Oh, he's funny. He's a highlight.
Okay, Blake, can you go sit over on that
chair, please?
Well, shit. She does have the
idea.
Let me walk away.
Let me walk away.
No, no, no.
I want you to stay in that chair.
You can stay in the room.
Here, I'll bring another chair.
Blade.
They don't want him to get into another chair and contaminate it with this.
Yes.
Yeah, Ice had the wrong idea of switching chairs.
I can see.
You're a mean person.
I'm not.
I'm saying how it works.
You are a mean person.
You have been mean.
I'm not.
No, shit.
You've been mean to me every single day. You've been mean to No, shit. You've been mean to me every single day.
You've been mean to me.
How?
Why are you mean to me?
Why can't I be mean to you?
Okay, you can be mean to me.
We have to do the eliminations.
Eliminations?
What the fuck are you talking about?
They must have a bit planned.
You've been very mean to me, though. How? I don't know. I don't know. What the fuck are you talking about? They must have a bit planned.
She's being nice to him right now.
Ice.
That's mean behavior.
That's how you die i feel like sober blade should see this and know that ice is not on his side
content bro it's for the content it is i mean the girl's being nice to him now. She's like, this guy's shit-faced.
Let's not get him to drink anymore.
He's good. He's done.
She doesn't want to hug him or hook up with him. He's offering him a mason jar of water.
I want to know what bit they had planned.
They're like, this glass of water is going to help him.
Blade is wrong.
Blade is attacking this girl who doesn't want to rub up on him
and thinking Ice is his friend,
when in reality, she's the one who has his best interest at heart.
Look at her trying to escape.
She's like, okay.
It's a good thing that chair was there.
It's a good thing that we need to do an intervention.
It's fine. We need to get to this.
This is the intervention, Blade.
This is the intervention.
You need to stop drinking. You're killing yourself.
20 seconds ago, he handed him a bottle.
Your body is rotting from the outside in.
He said your body's
rotting from the outside in.
Can confirm.
Blade, you need to
drink water
and stop with Jaeger.
That is GG
gamer subs.
I don't even know what that is.
It's gaming supplement.
GG.
Oh.
Not a sponsor.
You're not. You don't like me.
The luchador guy's got a fresh bottle of water.
This is killing me. That guy's just
a silent servant? And he's wearing a
fucking suit. I don't know how
I left that out.
I am part of the betterment
of me.
I do Zachary.
I'm trying. Can you help us?
I'm trying to offer everybody else water now.
Did you make that up or see it somewhere?
The diaper.
This isn't the first time he's soiled himself on one of these streams either. I'm trying to offer everybody else water now. Did you make that up or see it somewhere? The diaper. It's in the comments.
This isn't the first time he's soiled himself on one of these streams either.
Oh, this girl's brave.
She's getting in there.
She's done worse.
Such as?
I'm just suggesting she's a dirty, dirty girl.
Thank you.
Oh, for a second, I didn't realize they swapped chairs I'm here. I'm here.
What about me?
Are his shorts all wet?
Can you see it wet?
Yeah, yeah, that's what I thought too.
I thought I saw it.
Tell me you don't see it down the middle.
Oh my God, he's pissed himself so much.
Oh, in the back.
Look at the back.
Yeah, yeah, that's not just lighting.
It's not just a little piss, ladies and gentlemen.
Oh my God.
Ladies and gentlemen, Oh, my God.
He has emptied a full bladder into these camouflaged shorts.
How has nobody brought him new pants?
All right.
Where's everyone else?
Where is Bold and Sad?
I think this is the end.
Yeah, yeah.
We got it.
So I see Chiz posted this story about that. I just muted it.
I'll tell you if anything awesome happens.
Christ almighty.
That's – I don't mean to interrupt you, Queb.
I want you to talk about what Chiz linked.
But just in closing on that, he really does have a serious issue there.
And I know we made light of it there and kind of laughed because it's –
I'm mostly laughing because it's so awkward to look at you know what i mean it's it's it's more
of a cringe laugh than like a mean laugh i i feel bad watching that you know i've had some good
times with blade and i've always enjoyed hanging out with him the few times that i have on two or
three trips or whatever he needs to like seek actual professional help though from the look
of that like and and let this be a little
note for you people who think i drink too much because i literally have three drinks a show he's
that that's awful i i have yet to piss myself on i think he can he can definitely be that drunk
but not often right like if that's a is one a one year thing you know oh it's my
birthday let's get shit faced i mean then again i i'm a young guy so i feel like i get like as a
young person you can you can do those things and get away with it but if you're a full-grown adult
it definitely if you're on camera like my rule is if i'm drunk or high or whatever
no camera for me.
Because this type of stuff can happen, right?
Yeah.
And the thing is, he's not all that young anymore.
He's older than me, I think.
He's probably 34 or so.
And he's been doing this to himself for a decade or more.
And when you're around a community that has you around for content like nobody's going to be honest about
it and be like i feel like nobody's going to be that sincere in their help efforts it'll be more
like oh i see an opportunity to amp them up again oh here's another you know triple shot of yager
this will get a lot of people to talk about it yeah yeah yeah i mean they're doing it for
it's a reality show right right? He's 35.
Yeah, pretty close.
So that's a perfect time to improve your life?
Yeah.
Yeah, I know what his fear is, though.
Obviously, he's afraid that he won't make as much money if he's not drinking.
Like, Sober Blade isn't as entertaining to the people who are watching him right now, I suppose, as Blade who's peeing on himself and groping women and saying –
I don't know.
I never tuned in for any of his drunk streaming efforts, but I did back in the day watch his sober commentary sometimes.
I feel like he was trying to push her away, which turned into an unintentional grope or it might have been a
grope trying to cover it up as well he was like grabbing her ass at the very beginning but what
was he grabbing her ass or grabbing her waist like yeah i saw a waist i might not have saw what
kyle saw though yeah yeah i didn't i didn't see any groping like or maybe i missed it but like i
saw it looked like it was a drunken slap push like get away because even at
one point he was like get away from me you get away like i believe it if it were one or the other
but like he reached for two big times that i saw and one of them was for her ass and the other one
was for her titty like like those are the two areas he's zoned in on you know what i mean like
if i'm pushing taylor i'm probably not going to be going for those zones of contact i mean i
mean good for the girl to know like her boundaries and she was like let's stay far away from this guy
because you know like he only ice gross me that's who he was she was drunk oh who's alexa
from ice's t-shirt i think she was high i don't think that was a drunk. Alexa gave me a blowjob with his T-shirt. Does anyone know who Alexa is?
Alexa Echo.
Like his Amazon Echo?
Amazon thing, yeah.
Yeah.
Oh.
Maybe that's a joke.
That's not as funny.
Don't worry.
I was hoping one of those girls was Alexa.
Like, which one?
Who knows?
So Chiz posted a story about how Blade was at a party.
And I can confirm I was at that party
I believe it was Pax
West two years ago
maybe three years ago
and Blade, what he
did while Keemstar was there
he grabbed the two drinks
from these girls
and he chugged them like an asshole
but then it turns out
somebody had roofied these drinks.
So there's still a video out there of Blade just being completely like,
you know, like roofied.
A video of Blade under the influence on the internet, you say?
Under the influence of roofies.
But, you know, if he hadn't done that uh who knows what would he's a hero
he is a hero he dove on that grenade so so what is your superpower that's going to the title
have i saved from being roofied other than the women i decided not to you know i once ate a
cookie somebody tried to give somebody else a cookie and i stole it from them and you know
i got high but there you go.
If it wasn't for you,
that other person would have been high.
Lifesaver.
Blade was great.
If you save two women
from roofies, not just save them,
but you take that burden on yourself,
that buys you at least
two chair ropes.
Two chair what? Two chair pisses. buys you at least two chairpes. Two chair what?
Two chairpisses.
Oh, at least.
I would lean towards four or five chairpisses.
I think each roofie is worth two chairpies,
and that was two roofies.
Yeah, so he's still, he's got some credit,
as far as I can tell.
He's not in a, yeah.
Taylor, hypothetical.
There's a diabetic who really needs sugar,
right? So I have a Snickers,
right?
I eat the Snickers and make her blow me.
How many cherries is that
worth?
Well, none, because it seems like
you stole something a girl
needed and then coerced her.
Just consider me an advanced delivery
mechanism of insulin.
You know, I don't know a lot about the human
body, but I know that
Snickers doesn't come out your dick hole
when you come.
I'm not going to have a sugary...
I mean, if you pooped in your mouth,
then it could have been a little bit true.
If you eat
a bunch of pineapple,
that's supposed to change the flavor
of your seasoning
is that a meme?
no it actually does it tastes so much sweeter
and this is from
Queb AB testing
this is Mondays
and you can see it's very salty and gross
Tuesday
pretty tasty stuff
thanks for subscribing so happy to hit 10 million
tuesday's cum review yeah move over mre channels
so i've got the load here from 1978 it smells like 1945 uh world war ii uh
opening it up this is actually very rare it's a war load this is a combat jack from
man combat jacking must have sucked i can't believe i've never thought about that until this very moment about like you're at war there's no one to fuck you gotta beat off you're in the
most stressful conditions ever you're like in a trench and your friends just died yeah and then
you're like i gotta beat off and you're like well he's got a hole these you see these two tomatoes
and you're like oh fuck here we again. You look into your brother's face
that just four minutes ago was there
and now it's a pile of goo.
And so you grab a little and you start beating off
because you're stressed.
Well, you guys are really kind
not to fuck the bullet wounds.
Oh, Jesus Christ.
Oh, no.
Yeah, I mean, but like,
what was the procedure?
Taylor got judgy.
What was the procedure for combat jacking, I guess?
I think nowadays, this is based on television,
that they go to the latrine and jack there.
The what?
But if you're out and you're in the field.
Like a port-a-john?
A latrine's a bathroom.
Oh, okay.
You don't know what a port-a-john is?
Like a portable bathroom.
Port-a-potty. Yeah? Port-a-potty.
Yeah, port-a-potty.
I think they're better ventilated.
If you're out in the field and you're with your squad
and you're
looking out for terrorists in Afghanistan
because the mission's not yet accomplished.
You're under so much pressure,
so much stress, I don't think that's going to be
the first thing on your mind.
No, not the first thing on your mind. At some no, no. Not the first thing on your mind.
At some point, let's say you're five weeks in and you haven't relieved yourself.
You're going to need a little bit of sleep.
I thought you were going to say five days, Taylor.
You've got a lot of willpower.
Let's say you're four hours into your first appointment and you've got to get off.
They call him the meat man.
In your sleep is when you unload.
And if you do that too much,
your body will adjust the amount of semen that's being made.
Right?
That sounds right.
Yeah, that would take some period of abstinence.
We're talking about we were in World War I,
and we're in the trenches,
and we have to masturbate because we're so stressed,
and it's been like two, three months,
where do you go?
Because you can't leave the trench
and you don't want to do it in front of people
because that's uncouth.
I'm pretty sure you lose a lot of your sex drive
when you're under that sort of a stressful situation
and it's not an issue.
So boom, roasted.
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Yeah, absolutely. I'm pretty sure
Chiz did that. Saved himself a pretty penny.
Yes.
With his collection of high-end sports cars.
I like your custom little
added, the zebra.
The zebra.
You should start doing that for all the URLs.
Yeah, that's what zebras do.
I bet they do.
What sound does a zebra make?
Cock-a-doodle-doo.
I can just make a noise up and people believe it.
Nobody knows what a zebra sounds like.
It's like a horse.
The zebra.
No, they're like Pokemon.
They're like, zebra.
Zebra.
pokemon were like zebra what are the the youtube rich fate phases that you let there's the watches the cars um and now his new phase is making video gaming company phase oh yeah you talked to us
about that some last time like and you were like last time you spoke if i recall
you were talking about like literally you sitting there building the game yourself and figuring it
out yeah are you still on that track have you kind of like outsource a lot of the program so i i um
i did that to understand what it's like to make a video game because i never went to school for
anything like this right um and then shortly after
I believe I um I sat down with my team my my my back-end team you know financial advisor lawyers
my mom um and we uh we created a plan uh to take everything in-house and to get people to you know
start working on the game uh or on games and um i started my own gaming studio
uh first i hired one guy who would be the project manager and the team leader and together with him
we built a really good team around it we got one of the like the best uh game designers in the world
who uh just happened to move to amsterdam and was looking for a job and then we got two juniors who
are doing like art
and one guy's like programming.
So for the last like seven months, eight months,
they have been working on it full time
in our office in Amsterdam.
And we're going into early access April 25th.
So we made a game.
It's called Havocado.
Say it again.
Havocado. Okay. What's it's called Havocado. Say it again. Havocado.
Okay.
What's it like?
Havocado.
It's four people, four-player co-op or whatever online,
whatever you want to do.
They got dropped on one little level, one little island,
and have to fight to survive.
Last person standing wins.
And there's a bunch of weapons falling
down from the sky from pistols
to miniguns to ice guns
a bunch of
power-ups, you know, you have jetpacks
you have wings
and all these crazy things and then
we also have vehicles
so we have tanks, we have
cars, we have
boats. Is it a co-op PvE?
No, no, no, no.
It's PvP.
So it's not co-op in a sense.
It's multiplayer, I should say.
Right, right.
Still working on my picture.
So it's a four-player multiplayer.
And it's Last Man Standing wins.
And the goal of the game was to design something which isn't just fun to play, but also
fun to watch. Because obviously, I play video games all the time on my channel. It would be
stupid to make a video game which I wouldn't be able to play on my channel. So we really designed
it with a sense of obviously making the most fun game we can make, but also making the most fun game we can make but also making the most fun thing to watch right
um there are many many different aspects to what makes a game fun to watch on youtube the easiest
one is the look of the game right so you want to have the vibrant colors and that's that's why
fortnite's so popular right vibrant colors is one of the things uh you want to have uh um you know a constant uh reason to stay what like
and watch the video if there are a bunch of breaks people might click away um and then we put all of
that together and made a whole massive document uh and then we applied that to the game and uh
yeah for for seven months we we tested weekly with people who come over to the office, test out the game.
We look at their reaction.
We look at how long they play for.
And then we tweak the game accordingly.
So is it going to be on Steam?
Yes.
Yes.
So we're first launching on Steam.
And we've applied for many other PC websites or services.
Seems the big one, though, right?
Epic Games Store, Discord.
Yeah, Steam's the biggest one.
Although, if you could get into the Epic Games Store
and whatever that premium thing you pay for,
and you pay a monthly fee,
and then you get access to a vault of games,
it'd be killer to get into that.
We're trying to...
Dude, it's so cool to see you doing...
I have so much respect for the clear ambition you have
where so many people, if they were a lazy kind of person,
they would get to where you were on YouTube
and they'd be like,
oh, I'm already making enough to have a secure living.
I can invest in some rental properties.
And every time you come back on, it's like,
yeah, I was dabbling in real estate, but now I'm in games.
Now I'm in this thing. I found a way
to parlay my success here into success there.
I'm buying a gas station maybe
soon in a gym.
Wait, I can't tell
if he's joking.
Legit, serious. I can send you a picture.
I'm the most ambitious dude on YouTube.
So
back to the...
What were we talking about again?
The games, the Epic.
You were talking about testing.
The different marketplaces.
Yeah, so today we actually just got approved to...
Our account got approved to go into the PlayStation Store.
We're still working on Nintendo.
So the Switch.
And then we're also still looking at microsoft for the
xbox so those are obviously the plans and we're going in early access on a in end of april um
which means that we're still going to be improving and working on stuff plus it's our first game
um so i'm like i'm gonna be happy if we sell a thousand copies right but to be honest i think
it's like gonna be massive it's gonna be way more than a thousand
right so so i'm like i don't know i i genuinely don't know some oh where's my camera sometimes
i don't know sometimes i'm like this this stuff's gonna get so many sales and then i'm like well
what if it goes wrong you know i don't know um but yeah i'm super excited. We have well over a thousand people
wishlisted it on Steam.
Oh, that's great.
That's really good.
What's it going to be?
It's going to be $9.99.
Very cheap and affordable.
Not free, because we can't do that yet.
Yeah, of course.
That sounds really good.
I'm looking forward to...
I'll be sure to send you guys some copies you know yeah i play i play a bunch of games it's
it sounds a little it like four man battle royale which i like the i like but it's a quick round so
30 seconds exactly yeah yeah yeah yeah it's it's like rinse and repeat sort of it gets really it
gets competitive but then also that we've made it so it's not too...
You can't become too competitive.
You can become good at the game, but it's still like something bad could happen to you
and you're out that round, right?
Yeah.
But it was a game designed that you can pick it up at a party, and it doesn't matter if
this is a kid's party or an adult party.
It doesn't matter if you're drunk or high or whatever,
you can pick it up, have a good time, and just put it down.
Then we already know someone will like the game.
That sounds cool.
Yeah, thank you, thank you.
But speaking of the YouTubers making a lot of money
and then being like, oh, you know, I'll buy some properties and retire.
Like, it's just boring.
Like, why would you do that?
Why, when you have all the resources in the world, when you're 23, right, would you say, you know what?
Let's just retire.
Let's just go party all day.
Like, it's boring.
There's nothing fun about doing that all day, every day.
I could see myself, if I were in that situation,
not doing the fuck off and party,
but getting into something super retarded,
like pouring a ton of money into a homestead
where it's like, this is what i do now
i've got my farm my livestock i'm off the grid like that kind of like i could see myself getting
really into that we're getting really into like survival and camping or just something that's
really not that productive at the end of the day but like you just get obsessed like i'd build a
hockey rink or something dumb like i don't know what i would do
but i could definitely see the temptation to would you wait would you first of all do that when you're
23 and second of would you do that for the rest of your life right because well for me it's super
so much fun to have my own gaming company to have my own office you know to have these meeting calls
with people and i don't even know what they do until like we have the call, right?
And then going to the office and then in the office, literally, I go,
when I'm in Amsterdam, I go to the office on Mondays and Fridays.
And I go in and we play video games.
And I tell them my vision about the video game and what I think we should improve and why.
And then I go home, right?
Like it's just so much fun.
And then next week I come back and it's a completely different game.
It's 10 times as good.
And to me, that's just a lot of fun, obviously costs a lot of money.
And in the meantime, you're working on creating jobs, right?
But then again, you're not really, you're actually getting rid of more jobs so actually as a youtuber you know I let's
say I pull 100 million views a month I only run this company with seven yeah
seven people working in the YouTube department imagine you have a TV station
with a hundred thousand views per month and I see what you're saying. Now you have 300 people employed.
So in a sense, you're kind of getting rid of jobs or not.
Who knows?
Well, there's an infrastructure around that you're not counting.
Right?
Okay, fair enough.
Yeah.
And that's why the mainstream media sources,
no matter what biases they may hold,
I think they have so much angst and anger
towards online content creators that are hugely popular
because they are horrified when yeah fucking hannity rachel maddow like the biggest shows
are getting blown the fuck out on a metric basis by queb and i guarantee you're not by
by my you laugh you lose fortnight and
like when you look at like those stations metrics and you compare it to
what you get you're not just edging them out you're humiliating them yeah like
they are suffering under this what they should be doing is they should be
adapting in in the Netherlands there's a Endemol, or somebody who's part of that whole network.
They actually bought the biggest Dutch-speaking YouTube channel.
This was three dudes doing challenges.
They genuinely just said,
hey, I want to buy you guys,
and we'll up your production value.
We'll get you guys on salaries and
everything they they just paid how can that work out for them right because either those people
earn less because they're just taking a cut of what they previously got yeah or they're losing
money and giving them you know more than they made before well okay so the the big big it's a
bit one of the biggest television companies in the world, they bought the YouTube channel
and they put everybody on a salary, right?
They pay a lump sum to the owner or owners.
I don't know exactly how it is structured.
And in the meantime, they can leverage their network, right?
Their company and everything.
They have their resources to improve that YouTube channel even more, not just to make it grow more, but to monetize it
more because they have like all these advertisers. So now instead of half the videos being sponsored,
every video is sponsored and for way higher rates. And within no time, I bet they can make that money,
that initial investment back. On top of that, they're investing in the future, right?
This is the first channel they're buying to a multi-billion dollar company.
Who cares about buying a YouTube channel for like $2 million?
They're diversifying.
CNN tried that with Casey Neistat.
They bought his company for $25 million, I think.
But didn't they buy it for like the tech or the the
team behind it yeah they were buying the talent but i think that talent was 80 casey himself yeah
but the vision wasn't fully articulated and he didn't like quite to know what to execute on and
it didn't work out so but you know and it happens into those big companies, who cares? They're like, oh, that was $20 million.
You know, that's nothing to, what was it?
CNN?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Or News Corp or any of those. I think CNN is Time Warner.
Yeah, they are.
Yeah.
So.
I mean, I wouldn't sell my YouTube channel.
I don't think I can either.
No one's even trying to buy mine.
No one's knocked on my door. can be contracted though right oh i love oh you just is my camera being shitty for you yeah yeah it was stopped there could be some sort of contracted thing
though right yeah it's it's freezing so so actually i did i mention this before there there
is there's gonna want to buy us now, Kyle?
Huh?
You and your shitty webcam?
No, no, no.
I literally replaced my webcam.
This is brand new.
I was going to buy PKA, but Kyle's refresh rate kind of sucks.
There is hope, guys.
There is hope.
Have you guys heard?
Obviously, obviously, I'm PKA right now.
You guys have heard of deepfakes?
Yeah, of course.
Okay.
Have you guys heard of liar bird
no oh liar bird and this was on shane dawson massive youtuber uh and he um it's a program
um which you voice you read a bunch of voice lines and then you can type after it's learned your voice you can type whatever you want even
words you've never said and it'll say it in your voice right oh no now this technology it's not
perfect yet give it five years they're gonna be like that's not you tell it's fake yeah will it pick up your uh pronunciations i don't know
i think so because it's based off the way you talk right so imagine this technology being
much more advanced now all the youtubers who don't have face cams could possibly replace
themselves by just having a script writer.
Get a comedian to write that stuff.
Now, all of a sudden, you have really funny videos.
Now, do the same thing with your face and a deep fake.
Get a body double.
I just need somebody with my hair and a similar body structure as me.
No.
Then now I'm getting them to do the voices.
I put a comedian down
and i could possibly you know a lyra bird might have something which is voice input and it
transforms into my voice boom done no more youtube for me i'm the ceo chilling on an island and there
you go you're thinking this the wrong way what you do is you go to canada you find out where quibble
cop stays you go in there with a ball peened hammer whack whack whack all right you set up
your liar bird your deep fake program now you're quibble cop all right and all of a sudden you
become the howard hughes of youtube as far as like what about my girl is concerned uh whack whack whack yeah what about the rest of my team
the first 20 million subscribers
whack whack whack all problems can be solved with a hammer
if they're family so st louis when they're when their phone starts ringing you just fire up another
liar bird and you're like oh no i'm never coming home again fuck you fuck you but but that is uh i
genuinely thought like that's gonna be the the the way for me to fully like take a step back from my
youtube um and who knows i will see in a few years and then i also thought okay wouldn't that be the
great the best opportunity to have like ten
different YouTube channels and own all these youtubers which you know if if the
actor isn't nice you just replace them with a new actor but you have very
similar body types so if you're hiring yeah hey yeah do you have a way over do
you have a wig already dude could you please do that Quibble Cup impression?
Oh, it's even better than you, actually.
You're hired.
Which one is Quibble Cup?
Am I the one, or is this poster the one?
Change your mic to orange, and there you go.
Yeah, I'm already halfway there.
So, man, that's scary.
In a real way, it's's gonna be the excuse in the out for every
politician elected after like 2035 or something where it's like we have a video of you fucking
someone dressed as hitler that's like that's not true that's a deep fake and everybody's gonna be
like ah well they're so good now we can't disprove it there are theories on how uh that can be
disproven um because what they think is that once the algorithms or the um yeah once the algorithms
get better at making deep fakes right on the opposite spectrum there will be an algorithm
which will be getting better at detecting deep fakes, right? Because, you know, right now if you watch one, it's like an artifact.
And then it spots them.
Now, Photoshop's are quite good.
But there are people who can tell that something's been Photoshopped.
You know, they pixel peep.
There are websites that help you.
I forget the name of them.
But, you know, they can tell if they're modified.
There are algorithms for it that tell tell you this is photoshop this
is not super hard to make something from scratch right not photoshop the same thing for for these
videos i assume and especially if you know the the source material needs to be taken from like a big
database so if you're like jennifer lawrence you just look through all the movies and then the algorithm can be like
okay let's see if any of these frames
are identical
unless if you know how the algorithms
work yeah like it
can definitely be disproven
I'm going
out there into the wild with a camera I'm filming
Jennifer Lawrence in person
I'm going to be the only one with that copy
what's also like I'm trying to stay away only one with that copy. What's also like,
I'm trying to stay away from politics,
but like the fake news can get more convincing, right?
There are already people convinced by Photoshop.
My Facebook feed's filled with it.
When video starts rolling along
and you can find video of Obama
saying that he's from Nigeria,
no, Kenya,
then, you know,
boomers are hilarious with those edits
oh my
with those edits
with the photoshop edits and things
boomers will unironically share
things that to anyone born
after 1982
this is so obviously
photoshopped and they'll be like here it is
Alexandria Cortez saying
she wants to murder
children dude it kills me because the generation slightly older than me would be like dude you
absolutely can't use wikipedia or the internet in general as a source for anything now that those
fucks have discovered fake facebook they believe everything they want to believe and they just yeah
there they are flag burning burning, people beating.
It's just propaganda.
It doesn't have to be true.
I want to talk about pedophilia because pedophilia
has been big.
Sorry, this is another one.
Whoever's doing the timeline,
don't even include whatever you're about
to put in the description.
Pedophilia.
That's going to get us unmonitored.
This has been a big week for pedophilia that's gonna get us on money this has been a big week for
pedophilia all right uh oprah of course taking down michael jackson with the uh with the whole
uh leaving nether uh neverland documentary i'm gonna watch it as soon as we get off the show
make it or no oprah hosts it oprah hosts it and uh she's a big part of it which is very ironic
because oprah was a i wouldn't say a big part but's a big part of it, which is very ironic because Oprah was a...
I wouldn't say a big part, but definitely
a significant part of Michael Jackson's career.
She had him on her show a lot back in the
day in the 90s. She was huge
and he was huge.
She loved little Michael,
but now she's got these guys
on there talking about all the awful things
that Michael Jackson would do to them.
It was a win-win situation, like a dual-com.
Oh yeah, like a dual-com. She was dual-com
with fucking
Michael back in the day.
And then of course, R. Kelly. Now,
who here has seen the R. Kelly pee video?
I have.
I'm sorry, the pee video. I've seen the
recent interview. What are you just admitted to watching? Child
pornography.
I literally haven't seen it, but I heard about it on the Chappelle show.
What I thought he was asking is if we've seen the interview with CBS.
The thing we're going to show.
There's a video of him peeing on a girl?
I thought that was just like the what?
Sorry.
Well, let me help you out here.
In 2004, a video.
Is my mic too loud?
A video.
In 2004, the internet was still not fully fully fired up it
was more fun it was all ebom's world and albino black sheep and new grounds rotten.com but but
i just remember there was a day in high school where everybody was like did you see r kelly pee
on that girl and i was like nah and they were like yeah we've all seen it everyone had seen it
everyone had seen r kelly pn in this girl's mouth is it like a stage type thing is he in a back
room is it a bedroom it's i i i won't admit to seeing it here well you probably heard about it
from what i hear um you know there appear to be some couches and
there's a video of this shit how did he not get in trouble sooner because he
believes he can fly dude mother motherfucker was a huge star all right
and he would he would be paid settlements there was nobody complaining
all right the girl who took the pee in her mouth she certainly wasn't
complaining even if she She was 14.
She wanted that pee in her mouth.
Oh, Jesus.
She wanted that pee in her mouth.
She was gobbling it up, I'm told.
Allegedly.
So, in any case, R. Kelly is a known illiterate pedophile.
Okay?
You can't even read.
You give him their license and he's like it's all
that's a good excuse well the fuck i can't read no license it's all i can't even read numbers
so uh he did what does it mean she was born in 2005 i don't know so he did this interview here
and i haven't watched this yet uh i've heard a lot about it. I need to turn my VPN on real quick. Yeah, hook that up real quick.
Protect your ass.
But I think this is time stamped here
with a little bit of interesting R. Kelly information.
Now, I don't know if this is going to cover it,
but apparently R. Kelly has been robbed blind
by his representation over the years
and he didn't have enough money to get out of jail.
He didn't have, excuse me, he didn't have $100 to get out of jail he didn't have excuse me he
didn't have a hundred thousand dollars to his name this guy was huge like like like maybe like
if you're if you're 15 right now listening to this and maybe you don't know who r kelly is
r kelly was a generational talent he was massive when i was a kid like like like he huge songs
featured in movies and, and just everywhere,
multiple songs, like, like winning tons of grant Grammys. Like, like when I was in high school,
even like, like his songs were gigantic, like, like, like for, for 15 years, he was killing it
like huge hits, incredibly talented guy, like, like regardless of like all the evil he's done
or whatever, but he's illiterate so he's got
representation who's who are just like yeah we're taking care of it r don't worry about it don't
worry about we got this and then so he went to the bank like a while back and was like hey
how much money i got they were like none
because he can't read he's literally he's literally illiterate you're fully confident
on that i've never heard of how is this guy never yeah somebody to teach him how to read
uh when you're that rich you don't need to read no everybody should be able to read
imagine every sign on the how does he use his cell Like, imagine just all of it being foreign.
Motherfucker, call me.
I can't.
Stop tending me
on that gibberish.
Oh, man, who's calling me?
Let's answer this.
He's the only guy on Earth
who prefers voicemails still.
Look, it's mommy
because it's got a picture on it.
Yeah.
Can we watch this?
Yes.
I am not.
I unfortunately can't watch it
because I'm in Canada
and this is wild.
Well, you sit there quietly then.
You can tell this lady. Yeah. Wait, wait. Just put your I'm in Canada. Well, you sit there quietly then.
Wait, wait.
Just put your VPN in the US.
Yeah, okay.
But then I need to turn it on.
I don't know if it's going to mess up with the stream.
Fair enough.
All right, I'm ready.
All right, ready, set, play.
The point you're making is, and correct me if I'm wrong, that you have never held anybody against their will.
So what do you see?
I don't need to.
Why would I?
How stupid would
R. Kelly, with all
I've been through in my way, way
past,
to hold somebody
let alone 4, 5, 6,
50, you said.
He's arguing that he's never held someone against their will
because that would be a thing stupid people do.
That's stupid, guys. Is this camera on me?
Yes, it's on. That's stupid, guys. Is this camera on me? Yes, it's on you.
That's stupid.
Use your common sense.
Don't forget the blogs.
Forget how you feel about me.
Hate me if you want to.
The blogs?
Love me if you want.
But just use your common sense.
How stupid would it be for me to,
with my crazy past and what I've been through.
Strong point.
You'd never do something dumb.
Yeah, it would be stupid.
Someone who couldn't read might do that.
I'm in my basement.
And don't let them eat.
And don't let them out.
Unless they need some shoes down the street from their uncle.
Stop it.
Y'all quit playing.
Quit playing.
I didn't do this stuff.
This is not me.
He's hitting his mic.
Wait.
Y'all killing me with this. He's. I can't help dying. this stuff this is not hitting his mic wait he's talking to the camera he's going crazy he's performing to the camera
i'm trying to have a relationship with my kids and i can't do it to the camera.
He's yelling and crying and standing during the interview.
That's probably enough of that, right?
Oh, look.
They're putting makeup on him
while he beg at the camera. They're putting makeup on him while he begs the camera.
Why would I hold all these women?
Why would I hold all these women?
We're going to destroy your career.
But Kelly's emotions remained raw.
It's real girls out there missing.
It's real young girls out there being abducted, being raped.
And if you want to know where they is, you better tell me, Luce.
They really do have chains on their wrists and they can't get out.
And they're ending up buried in...
I don't use chains.
I got rope.
I don't want you just ranting at the camera.
It's soft linen.
I came here for them to hear me talk.
I don't want you ranting at the camera and he's like, I can't hear you, so let
me hear me.
What kind of help?
He's ranting at the camera. Help me not have a big heart because my heart is so big.
People betray me and I keep forgiving them.
You sound like you're playing the victim here.
You sound like R. Kelly.
You do.
When I listen to you, it does sound like you're playing the victim.
I'm just telling the truth.
And the reason I'm emotional and I apologize for that is because this is the first time I was able to say something.
I've said nothing.
Gail, you remained.
All right, that's enough.
By the way, that's Gail King, I think, maybe her last name is.
That's Oprah's lesbian lover.
So they have really been owning this whole pedophile thing this week,
the two of them.
They're just running the game.
So is he at the point where he's pretty fucked right now,
or is it just accusations?
What's the situation?
They were like, R. Kelly,
this is the second time you've done something with children
because that other one doesn't count.
Why?
Because I beat that one.
Yeah, I beat the case.
You think someone that doesn't know how to read
would kidnap girls and keep them in his big house
that sounds so stupid it's almost believable
only a dumb person would do what you're accusing me of doing
obviously i'm innocent 14 18 that group of letters looks the same to me.
I think he's in a lot of trouble because maybe some tax shit too.
I think maybe he didn't pay some taxes or something like that.
But he's broke because people stole his money.
That's not good because he needs attorneys.
He needs attorneys. And I also understand that I think a lot of his money went to settlements.
Because over the years, he would molest so many young girls
that their parents would come forward to him
first because that's how people are. They'd be like, hey, you raped
my daughter, R. Kelly. He'd be like, here's $30,000.
I think he just ran out of $30,000 checks.
That's how the Michael Jackson thing ising i have i also haven't seen the documentary but
from just little things i've seen on twitter like yeah it seems to be that a ton of these parents
were just bought off yeah and some of the parents from what i'm seeing like we're happy to be bought
off not like oh my goodness but we're like trying to bilk him out of money. You go play with Michael, and he's like, mommy, I got touch.
It's like time for a new motorbike for daddy.
Oh, exactly.
Time for a new vacation house for daddy.
Michael paid good.
Dude, can I read this?
I'd love to see it.
I felt like from the interview, we didn't hear what he was accused of.
Alleged sex cult.
Jim DeGurantis, something close to that, reported to BuzzFeed.
Wait, sex cults aren't allowed?
Ah, shit. In
2017, Kelly was accused
by three sets of parents holding their
daughters in an abusive cult.
Kelly and the alleged victims
deny the allegation. Kelly was
again accused of misconduct in 2018
by a former
partner of his who claimed that Kelly
intentionally infected her with an STD.
A representative for Kelly stated that he categorically denies all claims and allegations.
In 2019, another woman, Asante McGee,
whom he had met in 2014 and taken to live with him some months later,
said that she only lived with him,
I'm sorry,
said that she lived with not only Kelly alone,
but with other women he said they can she
controlled every aspect of my life while I live with him McGee later moved out on her own accord
so it seems like and that sort of ties into what he's saying he's like there are other people
who are held with ropes meanwhile I just do an abusive sex cult it is it sounds a little gray
area though right like if there's no ropes i mean some of these people are in their teens i mean he does seem to be a real piece of
shit yeah dude you skip over you i skipped over a bunch to get there like it i guess uh when he
was 27 he had a 15 year old-old he illegally married. What?
Yeah.
Why not just go to 18, you maniac?
What is wrong with you?
They're ruined and worthless by 18, Taylor.
That is true.
Well, women go rotten at 25.
There's the child porn thing that Kyle described already on here.
And then it goes to the sex cult so there's
just a couple of things yeah he seems way worse than michael jackson based no very little knowledge
michael jackson so now what did michael jackson allegedly do in this documentary i haven't seen
the documentary but the thing is he molested young boys uh and it wasn't that already like a known
thing no no it wasn't because when i
grew up it was like michael jackson you know little boys he would get them over for sleepovers
yeah but but but up until now it seemed like everybody had either recanted what they said
um or had been proven to be lies or or something like that but but i guess there's a couple of
like adult men on this in this documentary who describe
in detail what Michael would do to them.
It's pretty convincing,
it seems. I haven't seen it yet,
but I've watched
stuff from people
who have seen it, and everybody's like,
oh, yeah. I saw that radio stations
worldwide were pulling his music.
Yeah, I saw that too.
I was in the grocery store
today singing billy jean i don't give a fuck i don't care what he did all right that's some
that's some good music i mean he's dead already and he made great music that good
speaking of copyright claims that can actually copyright uh somebody can actually copyright. Somebody can actually copyright claim this video, the stream, whatever,
podcast for you singing that.
No joke.
It's legal.
He was talking about a different Billie Jean, though.
So they can't.
And also, there's a YouTube editor.
So if you do get claimed, just cut it out and counter the claim.
Yeah.
That works.
Trust me. But yeah, I don't know. I think Michael's counter the claim. Yeah. It works. Trust me.
But yeah, I don't know.
I think Michael's worse than R. Kelly.
He preyed on a younger
group of people.
I think that's worse.
How old were the boys he was into?
Like 11, 13.
Oh boy.
Little boys.
I give that a thumb down.
Yeah, little boys.
Let's go to all the Michael Jackson music videos and thumb down.
I already did.
I'm doing my part.
Doesn't that just help him by raising interactions?
He's dead, guys.
Did we all forget that Michael Jackson's dead?
Yeah, you can't fuck with him now.
He got it all.
He got away with it he uh he's did he's yeah absolutely did i guess he avoided jail but he didn't avoid public
criticism but he's dead guys public criticism i'll take it the guy was incredibly wealthy he's
he and his estate is richer now than when he was alive.
You know, he's left all those kids.
There were rumors that he was broke when he was alive.
But he had assets that he had to sell.
It's confusing.
Really?
Well, he owned the entire Beatles catalog.
So, like, when he sells, you hear about people selling their assets.
It's like, oh, yeah.
Like, so-and-so had to sell their Bentley collection.
Ooh, that sucks michael jackson just sold the rights to the beatles so that he could have another hundred million dollars in his pocket and he just had signed that huge worldwide touring
deal like like he died like in the middle of that tour where it was like it was like another like
several hundred million dollars to tour the world and be himself and sing his fucking songs you know
like he was one of those guys like mike tyson for example he can't be like yeah come every time and
i fight anymore no no you can't fight anymore but michael jackson's like yeah i can still dance
motherfucker let's go i'll take another hundred mil have you seen tyson recently there was a thing
on the mma you might have saw it at. Oh, my gosh. Fucking looking good.
Chuck Liddell looks 72, right?
Yeah.
Tito, who won, looked 52.
Mike Tyson somehow looks 22 the way he moves.
God damn, he looks strong and powerful and fast.
That guy.
Tough man.
Just incredible genes in that guy. That guy. Tough man. Just incredible genes
in that guy. That guy is just a
warrior. You should make him
fight R. Kelly as
Penn. That would be a great
pay-per-view. That would be way better than prison.
If Mike Tyson jumped in more than
prison.
Like the bare knuckle competition
thing or if he got a UFC one-off fight deal to fight.
My secret is I'm already retarded.
You can't stun me.
I'd totally watch him fight again.
I absolutely would.
Yeah, I think everybody would watch Mike Tyson.
Yeah, I'd watch him.
I don't want it though.
Also, people busted on Mike Tyson
for being broke, right?
There was a stage in his adult life
where he was broke.
And he shot back and was like,
fuck you, man.
You wish that you had my earning potential.
But it was true that he had no money at the time.
He just had debts and stuff.
And when he did that show and the HBO thing
and whatever, that was his comeback.
Now, Mike Tyson appears to be rich.
I wonder if his net worth
is at a peak right now no i wouldn't think so no no no no no no no no no okay jackson had hundreds
of millions of dollars at one point did i say michael jackson i meant mike tyson i'm sorry
mike mike tyson had did he own a tiger at one point he owned many tigers okay he he had hundreds
of millions at one point.
He's probably just... Oh.
He's probably comfortable now.
Actually, based on this website,
wealthygorilla.com,
it says he's worth three million.
I...
It sounds racist.
Why is it called Wealthy Gorilla?
It's just a name.
Oh, it has Jeff Bezos bezos too i don't know how much is he worth 130 bill according to this 170 not anymore half 170 oh yeah half of that who cares that's still
the richest person in the world is it just harry to a rich guy would be so dope you just you could divorce and then
just take half their shit and like nobody in the world is gonna come out in the mainstream media
and be like hey uh i don't i don't think this woman deserves 80 billion dollars dude let's talk
about this for a second so i talked to jackie about this and it's very difficult to talk jackie
about this because she will do nothing but project herself into the situation but here's my thing i mean
she married a billionaire right no a billionaire with an m yeah so uh here's the scoop let me lay
this out people have heard it before i think that most women deserve half right this is especially
true um in most situations.
If it's a situation where both couples work and they both contribute to the income, then I think she should get half.
If it's a situation where she stayed at home and sort of forego and bypass and, you know, then find themselves at like 45 with no job prospects, no work experience.
Rotten body.
Yeah.
Right.
So right up on the inside.
All the eggs are ruined, which means she's just not even a person.
So it's not fair in the overwhelming percentage of cases for women just to be left on the street and divorced because they put themselves in a spot where they had no skills.
Like an F-150 with 250,000 miles, like no resale value.
So bald tires. And like 20 people have already fucked that F-150.
Yep.
Moving on.
fucked that f-150 yep moving on but when that woman marries a super extraordinary guy right jeff bezos is an example um who's the quarterback who won with the buff or chicago bears white guy
did the chicago shuffle um he's really famous way back when.
I don't know anything about football quarterbacks.
Alright, well, make it Peyton Manning
or something, right? This guy
is a super guy.
But now, the poor guy's
putting deodorant on both sides
with his one good arm.
Now, the guy hurts when he gets out of
bed in the morning. He's worth
$150 million because he was such an extraordinary athlete.
Does that still get split in the middle?
That guy put his body on the line.
He's going to die early because football players do, right?
They get the head injuries and they're fucked up.
He's the one who sort of put himself through football training since the time he was six years old,
who took a big gamble on himself in a job that most people get.
They get married, and that's where he's saying, like, hey, 50-50,
unless you get a prenup, right?
So just get a prenup.
Even then, prenups get thrown out all the time.
Of what's just.
I mean, true, if it's a cheating scenario.
Okay, okay, Clem, you headed down the wrong path, and here's why. Because I want the conversation to be about what's just and what's just true if it's okay okay you headed down the wrong path and here's why because i want the
conversation to be about what's just and what's right and not about like what the courts will
choose you know a pre-nup's getting from it if if if it's a case of a super guy an extraordinary
like a jeff bezos right jeff bezos uh or you know some i don't know emmet smith or something like
that he's a running back i would say I would say something which is fair, right?
And like, if you're Jeff Bezos and you say, okay, give her half way too much, right?
Yeah.
And keep in mind, this is also going to get in conflict with like how Amazon's going to be running the company because now she owns like a piece of the majority stake right and give her a billion dollars still an
insane amount of money she's never gonna be able to spend in her life give her I
think the best rule is to say match her lifestyle for the next X amount of years, and then give that amount of money, right?
Jack Welch was the CEO.
But the same way for guys, right?
If a woman does this and a woman's in that situation
and the guy gets screwed over,
I don't think he should take off either.
Yeah, like if you were to marry an actress
or something right like yeah so in most marriages even okay in most marriages even if um
like one's not working like one's a stay-at-home mom and the other one's working then she functioned
as a support system that that enabled a lot of it to happen. Like now we're talking about me. But like if you're Jeff Bezos
and you're worth $170 billion,
just how good was that fucking sandwich
she packed for him that day?
Like what support system did she provide
that made him $170 billion man
and everyone else worth, you know,
15 grand in credit card debt?
Like were her sandwiches that much better than someone else's? Like no, he's just a Superman. man and everyone else worth you know 15 grand in credit card debt like where her sandwich is that
much better than someone else's like no he's just a superman she wasn't even making him sandwiches
fucking rosalito was hey um jack welsh is the ceo of ge and he was the first like multi-billion
dollar divorce and people who were on her side were like, you don't understand. The wife of a CEO like that does traveling.
She sets up social events.
She can't make mistakes.
She could do things that could hurt him
as he works his way up the corporate chain
and things like that.
And I'm like, wow, how good a party did she throw?
The guy's worth like 50, I'm making it up.
He's probably worth 20 billion or something.
But I just-
And if you think that jeff bezos had
his wife 100 in charge of organizing large corporate events for potential clients or
business partners or whatever he's like i have a bridge to sell you because that didn't happen
like yeah i did she i might be mixing up. I mean, if something is there,
it's going to be the same kind of shit they do for, like,
president's wives, where they're like,
all right, pick your flavor of the month cause
out of this jelly bean jar,
and this is just what you do now.
I want to end bullying in the world.
There is too much bullying.
The crux of this is that women suck,
and we don't need them.
No, it's not.
Let's just all be gay.
What would you even do with that amount of money?
I mean, Bill Gates and his wife, Bill Melinda Gates,
they have a foundation where they're literally giving all their money away to charity,
and their wealth is still increasing.
At that point, if you have Jeff Bezos' money,
even if you have half of that money, like his wife might get, she's going to have enough money to never, ever, ever lose money again, even if she would buy everything in the world.
She's simply not capable of spending all that money.
If she gets a third of his net worth, she'll be the richest woman on the planet.
third of his net worth, she'll be the richest woman on the planet.
I wish she would
be super vindictive because
they divorced because of some
improprieties on his part, right?
I wish she would start a company called The Nile
and it would be a competitive
company to Amazon.
And then she'd just undercut
him everywhere and just
set a billion aside. That's my money.
Come to Euesies.org
blow through 80 billion dollars undercutting jeff and ruining his margins all right just just
undercut him everywhere shipping i changed my view entirely i want this to happen what do you
guys think happened to the person who leaked this all, right? So as far as I know, he cheated on his wife with this TV presenter.
I don't know.
And the way it got leaked was her brother found out she was banging Jeff Bezos,
then got a hold of the text messages and the pictures,
and then send it to a news...
The National Enquirer, right?
Fuck that guy.
Yeah, fuck this guy.
Now, imagine getting caught trying to blackmail
and fuck over the richest person alive.
Like, what is this guy...
No more Amazon Prime, I'll tell you that much.
No, nothing.
This guy is just...
They're going to be losing his shipments from now
to the end of time oh no this happened oh your uber delivery didn't arrive yeah so this is the
story I thought would get bigger surge protector and another bomb arrived
I brought this up a show or three ago or something this is the one where the national inquirer
texted Jeff Bezos and said hey you're reporting about how this came out but you're saying it was politically
motivated we're going to release your dick pics unless you don't make that story and jeff bezos
was like fuck it i'm going public i'm not afraid i'm the richest man alive i don't care you can't
push me around and then the story just died but yeah there, there is like a... So Jeff Bezos owns the Washington Post.
The Washington Post is very critical of Trump and the Republicans in general.
And they're aligned.
The National Enquirer is aligned with Trump.
And they're like, stop talking about us through a political lens or we'll lease your dick pics.
And that's where it stands.
Or in other words, stop lying about us, right?
You think that the National Enquirer didn't have a political slant
to going after Jeff Bezos?
I mean,
it's a massive story.
Then that's what they do, right?
I guess.
I can hear your
side of it.
But they also, I guess,
did some digging and made it public?
Didn't the guy go to them
with the pictures
that's what it sounded like it's not like the national choir was like
scouring the earth for anyone with a jeff bezos dick pic right like it seems like this guy came
to them and if they i mean if they if that guy came to us here as pka i was like hey hey love
the show guys i got a big one for you. Jeff Bezos.
Been fucking around on his wife.
Sent my sister some dick pics.
Here they are.
I know, not very impressive, but my treat to you.
We'd go with it.
And it had nothing to do with Jeff Bezos' politics. You wouldn't try to blackmail Jeff Bezos, right?
Did they try to blackmail him?
That's what he claimed.
He claimed that he was blackmailing him.
He released the texts, yeah.
Yeah.
Or else what?
Or else they'd release the dick pics.
No, no, no.
What did they want him to do or else the dick pics would come out?
He had to say something about his political motives.
And if he didn't do that, then they would release the dick pics.
So they wanted him to tell the truth, or they would show the truth?
No, no, no.
It was something about
politics, right? He had to say
something about politics.
They wanted him to tell a lie.
Yes, yes.
For their
political gains.
If he wouldn't do that,
then they would release these uh nude pictures
i don't know i don't know very much about it i i find it interesting when when rich people get
caught cheating on their wives or or just get caught up in these little scandals do you know
who bob craft is the guy who owns the new england patriots very rich guy obviously very big in the
news a few months ago when the patriots won the Super Bowl. Did you hear what happened to him?
He got caught in an undercover sting going to one of those massage parlors
where they jerk you off.
I think I heard of that.
You've got to be a fucking loser
to own the Patriots
and pay for a handy.
And apparently...
Wait a minute.
You think that guy is getting handies
without paying
though oh yeah he owns the patriots he's a billionaire probably doesn't make him sexy
that makes him able to pay oh but you're coming at this from a male perspective resources and
money do make men sexy to women that's why you can find a thousand million women out there dating men
who are 30 years older and ugly as fuck because
because they're getting paid it's a tacit accepting thing of look look look here's resources i have
looks boogie was getting all kinds of hand jobs from that young lady and i think he was out 20 or
30 dollars right yes she felt underpaid yeah um i i don't i'm just torn on it because it might my take on this
is sure you're worth all that the that guy who owned the was it the clippers maybe sterling do
i have it right yeah um he was more or less paying for sex too right i'm sure like he was
paying for her rent and things like that yeah but he had a different kind of relationship right you
know he had like the full girlfriend experience yes like if you want a hand experience he like told her
you can fuck any professional athlete you want just don't post about well as the way i see it
likes to say that was hyperbole hyperbole um the the the way i see, if they're arguing and he hates it, it's the full girlfriend experience.
Good point as well.
Yeah.
I think when he was saying to her, like, look, I'm tired of you having pictures of you with these black guys.
If you want to fuck them, go fuck them.
You want to do this and that, do it.
Stop posting these pictures of you with these dudes on Instagram because my friends are seeing it.
It's making me look bad.
You know, I feel like that was hyperbole.
And I don't know.
But but it seemed like he's super old, like he's decrepit.
Wasn't he in his like 80s or 90s even like and there's different.
There are some 70 year olds who are like spry, right?
Like, like like no like yes
i looked at roger sterling turns out that's the fictional character from mad men
i don't know what the fuck the guy we're talking about his name yeah it's it's uh
martin i don't know former owner of the clippers whatever that fucking sterling
i want to say sterling marlin but that can't be the guy's fucking name i don't know. Former owner of the Clippers. Whatever that fucking Sterling. I want to say Sterling Marlin, but that can't be the guy's fucking name.
I don't know where I'm coming up with that bullshit.
Sounds good.
Whoever cares.
But yeah, it depends what you're paying for and if you have the resources.
But this guy was going to the kind of place where...
That's it.
This guy was going to the kind of place that you or I could just wander into for some sort of illicit hand job.
This guy owns the fucking New England Patriotsots right he just won the super bowl he he he has he has six super bowl rings of his own and he's going to like some sort of asian spa
where you go in the back and some sex slave jerks you off you know like like it's it's bottom tier
sex trafficking he could have totally all the Patriots just come in
Don't he don't know I a Bronco fan
I'm going to tell everyone I'm gonna talk his rotten old pecker
Yeah, and apparently I open up
It was the second time there
They said they said in the video of the whole thing of course and they were like they're like it's clear from the video
This was not his first time he knew exactly where to go and which curtains to go through oh shit this is
rough poor poor guy he had to release the whole state because the man's got kids you know he's
70 he's got grandkids and shit his children are like 58 yeah exactly yeah it's it's it's a whole
thing so they're not gonna be like i can't believe this about my
dad like like like a man of that with that much money it could have easily had like a dozen
girlfriends who were in their 20s or 30s who are beautiful and you know it might cost him
a million dollars a year or something to keep that going. Get some nice purses. Get some discs.
Let them fly in
daddy's jets.
Give them season tickets.
Whatever.
This guy is a fucking loser.
He's a dummy.
No, not just a dummy.
Imagine owning the most successful
sports franchise of the last
two decades.
All the big four major sports of all of them.
Who's more successful than the Patriots?
Fucking nobody.
Imagine owning them for the entire tenure of their success and then paying in a back alley Chinese masseuse shack to get your dick tugged.
That is pathetic.
Yeah.
It's a real Patriots.
How many?
Do they have six titles?
They have six since Brady joined the Nets.
I was trying to be like, no.
But Golden State has three, right?
Yeah.
Nobody's even close, I don't think.
Nobody's even close.
The Yankees aren't even close.
Yeah.
If we're just talking about since 1990, let's say,
we'll even move it back from when the Patriots got their get up and go.
Buffalo has four Super Bowl losses. Well, that's say. We'll even move it back from when the Patriots got their get up and go. A Buffalo has four Super Bowl losses.
That's impressive.
The closest is probably the Pittsburgh Penguins.
I think they won four cups in that time.
Six Super Bowls? No, they suck.
You're right. They're just a
bad team. They're not very good at
ice hockey.
Have you guys heard of what
Jenkum is? No, not at all. i don't know how i got on some youtube tangent
it's something that people do in like a lot of developing countries where they'll shit
into a container and then close the top and then let all of the methane gas and all of that
accumulate from the shit and then they'll do a drug called
jankum by opening it and like inhaling all of the shit air as there's still shit in there and it
gets you very high apparently that didn't go where i thought it was going i thought this was taylor
and his survival videos and he was about to teach us how to like start a fire. Well, this is how to survive.
And if you want to get high and you only have your own shit and a bottle
and time,
I just think that would smell awful.
I,
yeah,
the jar of shit,
but I was like watching these things,
like seeing that it's pretty big and a couple of African nations or some
shit where it's like,
who,
who,
who wants to get
high this bad? Is sobriety
this terrible?
You want shit fumes to inhale
to get yourself on tilt?
Don't knock it until you've tried it, Taylor.
Dude, it looks gross. I'll have to
find the LiveLeak video of people
doing jankum.
You know,
it seems like you could collect the air in a receptacle that
wasn't just a jar of shit you know like put a balloon on the top something i don't know like
oh i like the way you're thinking well like a one-way valve yeah something like that so you're
not you so you don't have a fucking seven 2-liter bottle with poop in the bottom just inhaling that.
That makes me gag a little thinking about it.
Yeah, it seems.
So anyway, guys, if you want to get high, don't do that.
Just get high on life.
Just get some cookies, guys.
Get some cookies.
Go for a run.
Get your runners high, which I'm still convinced is propaganda to get me to run.
It's a thing. It's a thing.
It's a thing.
It's a lie told by Big Run.
No.
Big Run.
Big Cardio.
I have been addicted to running, guys.
Oh, you're in the pocket of Big Cardio.
Somehow you fought that addiction off, though, and recovered.
Oh, man, that would be the easiest addiction to overcome.
It's not that.
It's definitely not.
Like, a runner's high isn't like, oh, you know, you're fucking tripping balls.
It's just like you feel good.
You've never seen a runner's high recovery group with a bunch of really skinny guys pacing around in a gymnasium.
Never once have you seen that.
Jeff, stop jogging in place.
It still counts as running.
It's like a runner's high is definitely
it's not a high it's like you're running
you feel good you exercise you feel good
like if you've ever felt good
after exercising that's
what a runner's high is you know why I feel good
when I'm exercising because I know I'm
not doing it again for two days
that's my favorite part like
oh my Monday workouts done I'm clear doing it again for two days. That's my favorite part. Like, Oh, my Monday workouts done.
I'm clear till Wednesday.
That is,
that is a good high to get where you stop.
Cause I just said,
I bought a treadmill recently and like,
after I used it for this first time and I hopped off,
like I had a high knowing that never would I be further from the next time I
had to run.
Yes.
Then right that moment.
How did you get addicted to running?
How much do you run a day?
I used to.
I ended up running half a marathon.
That was the most I ran.
On a treadmill or in the world?
No, in Amsterdam.
I was just running around.
So it started off like I did sports my whole life.
And then I started just like just running, just getting in shape.
I thought it was like the best way to get in shape or whatever.
And I started running and it started at like 3K.
And it ended up doing a bunch of 5K, 5 kilometers, which is I don't know how many miles.
Three and a half-ish.
So I see you guys are opening up Google.
Let me just convert that.
What is it?
Don't do it.
I think it's like three miles, yeah.
Yeah, three miles.
So I did a bunch of two and three miles.
And then I told myself, okay, you know what?
I'm going to set a goal.
I'm going to go for 10 kilometers, right?
So double 5K.
And I did my first 10k which takes about
an it's an hour of running and it's just very um like I don't have to worry about anything
I was doing YouTube at the time pretty stressful sometimes and I'm like you know let me just relax
for an hour listen to some music you know run on run on the beat um you know get my heartbeat racing and it just felt
good if it felt nice it's just like exercising right and it's just nothing different to doing
that and playing hockey for an hour or doing whatever it's the same shit um and then i was
like okay well i did 10k uh you know did a did a bunch of 5k 10k again and then i was like okay you know
what i kind of want to do 15k so um i started running started running and i did the whole tour
through amsterdam you know ran past the anna frank uh museum you know where anna frank was
chilling i was like oh i've never been here let me just run past that and i was like, oh, I've never been here. Let me just run past that. And I was like, oh, let me run to the next park.
And then I was like, okay, time to head back home.
And I'm running back home and I hit my 10K.
And I was like, okay, well, I'm going to go for 15, right?
So I'm running towards 15K.
And I'm like, fuck, you know what?
Why don't I just go for 20K, right?
I'm like, I'm in there.
I'm doing great.
I'm feeling nice. Let's just go for 20K. So I'm running like, I'm in there. I'm doing great. I'm feeling, feeling nice.
Let's just go for 20k. So I'm running, running, running, running. And while you're in it, while you're in the rhythm, like, you know, if you train well enough, you don't actually start
feeling tired. Because, you know, you got the breathing down, you know i had some a bunch of food beforehand
you know you gotta take some do some drinking every now and then um and then i was i was nearing
the 20k and i was like you know what fuck it let's just go for half a marathon which is like
one kilometer more and um definitely like when i was nearing that 20kK, it was getting so bad that I was feeling my bones and my knees.
I could feel it like that.
And because you do that, I was running for two hours.
So it's a lot of pressure on your body.
And then I ended up running, finishing it, half a marathon, which is 21 kilometers and some some something some meters uh and i couldn't walk
for two days after i was starving when i arrived i was starving because i you burn like 1500
calories doing that so i ordered like the biggest juiciest meal ever it's disappointing to learn
that's 1500 calories oh so like you get to eat double almost?
A little less than double?
Because I think you're, what, 2,100 calories or something?
That run is 1,500 calories, including, I believe, the regular body's metabolism.
I see, yeah.
So an extra 1,200, yeah. So an extra like 1200, which is like
an extra meal.
So you could run a half marathon.
What do you eat?
You know what a great superpower would be?
Would be able to change your metabolism
at will. You couldn't save
anybody's life, but you could eat
whatever you want.
Bulimia!
Nothing I eat counts! I don't want to vomit.
That sounds awful.
Anyways, to wrap up my running story,
I stopped running because
after that,
my dad passed away, lost a lot of weight.
And then I was like,
okay, I want to start gaining weight.
But if you're a runner, you want to
just be able to have a big heart and good veins.
And, you know, just a little, just enough leg muscles to be able to carry you.
So I started putting on a lot of weight.
So since then, I gained a lot, but more in like a lot of muscle and a little bit in fat.
Yeah.
Are you still doing weight training?
Yes.
I went to the gym yesterday.
And speaking of going to the gym
last time i was telling about my my lower back issues that's been completely fixed almost
completely um so i was it went to hit went to the doctor as you guys suggested thank you um
and the doctor said well you should probably go into physiotherapy to strengthen the lower back muscle. Now, how many of these cookies are you eating?
And the CBD and the THC really helped relieving the pain.
That's weed for everybody who doesn't know.
But I had a trainer at the time and I just told my trainer, I'm like, hey,
let's just go really hard on the lower back and strengthening the core.
So I started doing that.
I started improving my posture while sitting down at my desk.
I started doing yoga daily or twice a day.
And sometimes I had to loosen it up.
And after a few months, the pain went completely away.
And sometimes I still feel it.
And then I know I've been sitting too long today or something,
or I need to hit the gym again.
That's good.
Yeah.
Whenever I start getting back pain,
I always attribute it to the muscles in my back getting weak,
and I'll work out for maybe a month.
And the thing that always fixes it is pull-down exercises.
Yeah, lat pull-downs.
Yeah.
Guys, I'll teach you i'll teach you everything my my girlfriend had um
uh um like she got leg pain because of her nerves in her lower back so like severe like someone was
stabbing her she would wake up in the middle of the night so she did a lot a lot of research on
um how to get rid of lower back pain and this this exercise trains your upper back. Now, not saying that
doesn't take any pressure off your lower back, but if you really want to, you need to train your
glutes. So you need to train your butt muscle and your lower back muscle. Those are the two most
important. And then you can also do your core, which is like your abs and your, the ones on the
side, I forgot the English name for it. Obli right so your butt muscle you can train many many exercises are you
know there's so many for them so really you just need like compound lifts like
deadlift squat like anything that's gonna work your posterior chain I
wouldn't necessarily do deadlifts if you have lower back issues because deadlifts are very um uh you know taxing on your
lower back the best ones uh to do are hyper extensions they're very easy you don't need to
do them with any weight if you cannot do a hyper extension there are many exercises which you can
do for your glutes for your butt which all you have to do it's one is like you lift your leg up
on the side or one you kick back like
a donkey kick and that will train your butt uh you know so i have a really nice butt now um and uh
it it helps it like it gets rid of that lower back pain i get upper back pain that's that's
that's what bothers me is like like the center of my back and up like like in that in that area and
it's just from like honestly like if i'm in the kitchen cooking for like two hours and i'm sort of slumped over like
working on the counter like it'll start aching and i'm like oh i need to do something about yeah
what height are like the standard kitchen countered people for like you know what i mean
because like i'm i'm six foot i'm not a super tall guy or anything, but just standing there like doing my dishes in my kitchen,
it's like this is not tall enough.
I agree.
My wife is 5'7", and she considers the counters too low.
Yeah, too low.
5'7", wow.
Yeah.
I want to talk about the UFC event
because we talked about it a good bit leading up to it.
I thought it was a good show, right?
Jon Jones, greatest of all time time cemented in there in my opinion
definitely greatest cheater of all time uh because because he uh he had a couple of cheap shots in
that in that fight um nice little head kick on a grounded opponent then a knee to the head of a
grounded opponent loved it uh i had a lot of respect for anthony smith not taking the free belt
right i hope it turned out okay for him right like i hope he gets a big boat
so people don't know they report what a fighter makes to vegas and it'll be like a quarter million
then you find out later it was one point quarter million you know 102 1 million 250 000 was just
all on the back end and data does that a. One, if fighters know how much each other make, then it makes it tougher to negotiate.
You get to say, you know, how come Quib makes that?
I'm one-third as popular as Quib.
I should make one-third his money.
Or whatever it is keeps it all a secret.
It's better for the UFC.
Now, when you're the champ, you start getting pay-per-view percentages.
You get big money.
You get sponsorships. Reebokview percentages. You get big money. You get sponsorships.
Reebok pays more.
It all adds up.
He, out of honor, decided to say, I can fight, knowing he was losing.
He was losing.
He was going to lose.
Can I quickly just lay out what happened and how the rules work?
Go ahead.
Basically, John Jones need this guy.
One of the guy was grounded.
Now, there are various rules that change what
grounded means. And they happen to be in a locale where grounded meant that his hand was on the
fucking ground, which is a little BS, but those are the rules. And so the rules say that if Anthony
Smith is unable to continue, then he wins by disqualification. And the way they determine
if Anthony Smith is unable to continue is they ask him.
So Anthony takes this knee to the head while he has a hand on the ground.
And they go, hey, can you still fight?
And what they're really asking is, hey, you want to win right here?
And he says, no, I can still fight.
And he was never going to win this fight.
He was a 9 to one underdog
lost every round in and on top of that i would argue he lost if it's a 25 minute fight and went
to the decision i bet he lost maybe more than 24 and a half of those minutes yeah and it was a
downward slope it wasn't like it started out and he was getting pummeled and then by round two he
wasn't getting pummeled quite as hard and then by round every round he was getting pummeled. And then by round two, he wasn't getting pummeled quite as hard. And then by round, every round he was getting beaten worse.
Like every round, John was getting more confident.
And he was going from kicks to punches.
He had gotten to punches and wrestling by the time this had happened.
So he didn't, he just chose not to be champ.
He went the honorable way.
I think it might've been the last round.
Does that sound right to you?
I don't remember exactly.
Fourth or fifth round.
Yeah.
So the handwriting was on the wall at this point.
Oh yeah.
And he decided,
you know,
look,
I'm going to roll the dice and hope I can somehow win this.
And he didn't.
And now,
yeah,
he could have been financially set up for life,
not quib money, but he could have had millions.
Nah.
Really?
I'm not an expert on that sort of thing,
but at the time and the heat of the moment,
and I was writing to my friends, I was like,
he just literally said no to at least $100,000, $150,000.
Oh, you're wrong.
No, he would have had a cut of the pay-per-view
for the John Jones-Smith rematch if he was the guy
coming in with the belt it could have been seven million or three million or something like that
yeah well it would have to do good numbers you know this one only did half a million buys
you don't think the rematch for this one would i think it would half a million i think i think that if he took that belt
the like the john jones like i don't know what to call it revenge promo would have brought this to
be a big event eh not for me i wouldn't watch the rematch i'd be like oh yeah john jones gonna go
back and beat this guy up again oh Oh, but how would he abuse him?
How much would he make him pay?
What would he have done to this guy?
Because he did that to him.
I think it'd be a grudge match.
I'm saying grudge wrong.
No, I'm saying it right.
It'd be a grudge match.
And I wanted to call it a grudge match
and I couldn't get away from it.
But it would have been a grudge match.
The hype around it.
To see how Jones reclaims this belt. it would have been a grudge match like the hype around it to see what how jones reclaims this belt it would have been i think that he gave up millions and i hope that
i don't something good happens i don't know how the the structuring it seems like it's very
by the seat of dana white's pants a lot of the times i don't know if it's guaranteed that like
oh you're the champion and you're going to be fighting on a pay-per-view card then you guaranteed get four points on the back end i think it's more like
a negotiated thing where like oh you're demetrius johnson and you're fighting on the on the card
you get one point oh you're connor mcgregor and you're the champion on it you get 10 points
there's outliers like like you're saying right d? DJ, for example, took a big cash thing
and never got any pay-per-view points.
But I remember hearing Data White talk just recently
about interim titles.
And the guy is saying,
people on the internet are acting like internet titles are crap.
I'm saying internet.
I mean, interim titles are crap.
But interim titles are not crap.
You get the Reebok champion money.
You get the pay-per-view points.
You get all the same like financial bonuses that the other, that the, I guess we'll call
it the real belt gets.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So yeah, he would have walked in there with the, with the pay-per-view and he said no
to a lot of money.
He did like life changing, a lot of money, especially for him.
Um, so very honorable what he did and uh while i i mean
he clearly got his ass kicked and he's never going to be the champion at that weight class
because he's never going to close that gap between himself and john jones that ain't never happening
like it's it's it's never gonna he's never going to close that gap they could fight that fight
every fucking four months for the rest of uh their their
professional careers and john would just get better at beating him faster hypothetical situation
they stop letting john jones test positive for steroids twice before the fight like he doesn't
test positive for steroids you know he tests positive for whatever the steroid metabolites
okay old metabolites right They stopped letting John test positive
for steroid residue in his blood.
Well, then he wouldn't be able to fight.
Or maybe it goes up or something.
But they say, you know what?
For fuck's sake.
If they just were to change the entire structure
of the UFC...
If they gave Anthony a hammer.
All right, now here we go.
No, no, no.
So there's a sizable amount of people like me that
think that he's micro dosing or doing something that's causing the these steroid terenobol
metabolites to keep reappearing in his blood if they stop giving him these passes john jones
isn't champ if john jones isn't champ at 205. Could be Anthony Smith.
Well, that's never going to happen.
Who would it be then?
Oh, well, I mean, what you just said is never going to happen.
Oh, Jon Jones will always be on steroids.
No, they'll never.
I mean, if they catch him microdosing, like you said, that would be a thing.
But I don't think he is microdosing.
It just seems like.
I mean, the scientists that the UFC chooses to believe say he's not.
So I'm going to go with that.
But I thought it was a pretty good card. The whole Lawler thing and Ben Askren situation was very odd.
I will say this.
Lawler looked like a fucking killer, right?
Like, forget about the decision and the bad reffing and whether the arm was limp or the thumb went up
like that's all irrelevant to me um Lawler looked amazing and I think that's that that spells good
things for Lawler's future going forward like like this doesn't diminish his career at all like like
like you said the other day like ah but we'll look back and it'll be an L Dana will look back
and and he knows what it was he
knows that robbie lawler is a fucking killer who he can who will fight anybody on any notice
and will probably win lawler looked the best i've seen him look since he fought fucking um
the canadian psycho or whatever maybe better physically than then he looked like an action
star meanwhile ben looked like a dad it was such
a disparity i looked at ben askren and thought do i have a better body than him no but i think if i
worked hard i could yeah he's got love handles taylor this guy has love handles i'll get a
picture for everyone um and and lawler lawler looked like a Viking warrior.
He looked like a superhero.
He was cut as fuck.
All ripped up.
All of his abs are showing.
His pecs are super defined.
But the love handle guy looked powerful, I'm sure, right?
No.
The love handle guy looks like you would see him at any backyard barbecue in the pool.
Yes.
Usually when I hear that these guys are heavy, I'm picturing like a butter bean situation.
No, no, no, no, no, no.
Where it's a guy that's heavy, but clearly like mounds of muscle and power.
If you saw Ben Askren at the pool with his shirt off, you'd think, oh, he took his shirt off.
How brave.
Yeah.
I'm going to look this fucker up. This is a guy who weighs what like 100 this guy weighs
about 200 pounds walking around 195 pounds walking around he's the average man who works out maybe
one day a week that's what he looks like he looks like an average guy who works out one day a week
jesus i've got bigger arms than this guy i don't know absolutely you do you but if he got a hold of you yes he'd murder me you would suddenly realize i'd suddenly realize
oh he's much more powerful he's gonna beat my ass he's incredible it was very fun fight to watch i
wish and and i'm not sure what i believe about the choke you know like i've heard a lot of
opinions about what happened essentially what happened is you know robbie came in and he was beating the fuck out of ben he picked ben up
dumped him right on his goddamn head ben gets him in a choke called a bulldog choke which is
kind of like a a bully playground kind of maneuver the headlock from the side kind of
yeah and it that choke can choke someone unconscious, especially with a guy like Ben putting it on you.
And the ref says, hey, show me something.
And he lifts Robbie Lauder's hand up, and he drops it, and it falls limp.
But then Robbie kind of gives a thumbs up.
But it wasn't the thumbs up.
It was brief.
It was brief.
It was brief.
And Terminator 2, when Arnold Schwarzenegger is going down into the molten steel,
and he's just holding it solid.
He's giving it to you, right?
You didn't get that one.
You didn't get the one that I feel like if a referee asked me to show him something
and I really wanted to stay, I'd be like, fuck yeah, fuck yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Even if you can't talk. you know, like don't because you know.
But ref saw the arm go limp.
Robbie's choking the fuck out of him.
You have it back.
And I'm sorry.
Ben's choking the fuck out of him.
And the ref like, all right, that's it.
Fight.
Get off of him.
And.
Robbie Waller immediately stands up and goes
well the fuck man why'd you stop it i'm fine and there's a lot of ways to look even look at that
reaction like maybe he was unconscious was it like two seconds from him being not fine
it could have been that he was unconscious and then for a split second and that was enough to get that arm to
drop like that it could have been that he was unconscious and ben started loosening up as soon
as the ref started telling him to let him go because there was a brief period between when
he started telling him to and when he completely dropped him or it could have been that yeah in
another 60 seconds he'd have been completely unconscious. And another three minutes, he'd been a dead man.
Because there's plenty of time to go in the round.
And he had the choke in tight.
And that's what he does.
But we'll never know.
Because they're probably not going to run it back.
I've watched a lot of grappling experts and stuff talk about it.
And I guess, I'm not positive about this but
one of them said that this is the same choke conor mcgregor tapped out to and they're like you know
it wasn't under the chin he pussied out he whatever and they're like it doesn't have to be
he was done it can choke you even if it's not under the chin you're done and guys like khabib
guys like ben askren are the best at putting this squeeze on. And like Kyle said,
it could very well be that he was out and then the ref to break it up.
He kind of like padded Ben Askren on the chest and,
you know,
said,
break it up.
So it was really four seconds later that Robbie Lawler complained,
you know,
stood up and fussed.
So he could have really got his wits about him in those four seconds,
maybe,
but the experts were saying, dude, Ben Askren won, and you shouldn't diminish his victory because of that.
Yeah, yeah.
And if you look at it that way, God damn is Ben Askren impressive.
I'll tell you one thing, no matter what you think about the choke and the call, he weathered a storm that very few men on the fucking planet could weather all right robbie lawler who looks like a goddamn killer beat the
fucking shit out of him now it wasn't a long time it was maybe 15 seconds of beating but it was the
most for it was like that scene and it's always sunny in philadelphia you ever been in a storm wally not a thunderstorm but a storm of
fists pounding on your chest just feels like you can't even breathe that's what it was like when
robbie lawler started beating on ben asker and then he picks his ass up about five and a half
six feet up in the air you know step ladder height but the height where everyone agrees you can die from falling from and drops
him straight on his fucking head and ben gets up and chokes the guy unconscious and gets the win
with a face that looks like he just got into a goddamn car accident it was impressive so what
happened was ben went for a takedown or something he actually never got hit on his feet ben askren
uh he was going for a takedown instead of getting the takedown, Robbie picks him up and drops him.
And when they're on the ground,
they're in this position where their bodies
almost form a T. But Ben Askren's
arm is behind his own back
and Robbie Lawler's holding his
arm with one hand so his wrist is pinned
behind his back and beating him in the face
with the other. And he
managed to just do that for a little while
until Ben Askren was all bloodied and uh baited and such and then he might have hit him with his knee
while they were standing a legal knee as a fan it it was a moment that you rarely get in ufc fights
like where like it's like that movie thing where like the the good the the guy's losing losing
losing losing win and you're like
yeah because like i was i was as low as i could get because i wanted ask her to win i really did
i was pumped for him and his debut and i felt like it'd look bad if he just pumped up guy loses his
first one and even even though it is lawler even though it's a killer and if he wins it's it's so
much better like like before the fight i was like if you're going to be a bad motherfucker,
you've got to beat a bad motherfucker.
You can't be like, well, I can beat this guy and that guy,
but don't make me fight that guy.
No.
They're saying you are the baddest of motherfuckers.
So beat a bad motherfucker.
And to see him getting his ass kicked, and I was just like,
I stopped even looking at Discord.
I didn't want to see what my friends were saying.
I was just like, I don't even want to fucking read this shit.
And then Aspen gets the win like 30 seconds later.
And I'm just like, yes, yes, yes. Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
And Chiz is, of course, a little upset because he bet on all the underdogs on the card and some sort of parlay bet.
So I felt bad for Chiz, but I felt great for Ben.
When I watch UFC fights, I put my imaginary self in the position of those fighters.
Like, all right, Woody against Lawler.
And when a guy has one arm pinned, either the crucifix position or the one we were talking about, I don't know the name of it,
and he's just beating him with his hand and he can't even block the punches, I just like oh man like i'm so glad that you would not be it's it's it's horrible to think
about so yeah absolutely good event good event it was a it was a pretty fucking good event except
for tyron woodley gosh yeah ty tyron uh tyron did a terrible job. He lost. He lost his belt to a guy named Uzman, the African guy.
And I don't know.
He looked flat.
He looked like he didn't want to commit.
I don't know what happened to him.
It looked like he didn't take his vitamins that night or something like that.
He needed some caffeine.
Ben Askren said this.
He said one of Tyron Woodley's flaws is he's always waiting for the perfect punch, the perfect opportunity, the perfect thing that he can execute on.
So he just spent 25 minutes waiting for a chance.
And during that 25 minutes, he got his ass beat.
I literally saw him explode like maybe twice where he like, you know, threw a couple of big overhands and like stepped in.
It happened like twice. And I was just just like you should be doing that every me you should be doing
that every 30 seconds tyron listen to us yeah yeah listen to me the white guy over the internet
watching uh watching the pay-per-view but but he got his ass kicked and lost his belt. And I'll tell you what,
if Jon Jones lost his belt,
he's secure as fuck.
He's getting that rematch,
and even if he loses,
he's getting another big fight,
another pay-per-view,
and another, and another,
and he'll have to lose four in a row before things start looking scary.
They don't like Tyron over there.
He is not a company man, okay?
Tyron could be in one fighting
championship by the summer he could be over there with fucking sage northcutt uh fucking
wearing a completely different uniform you know because because dana does not like that
motherfucker at all it's clear the primary thing he does wrong is he turns down fights
so they'll be like you know woodley we want
to see you fight uh hector lombard there's a real example because they're both like jacked as fuck
black guys the same size and be real interesting to see like what happens when this unstoppable
force and immovable object go at it he's like no i don't think that fight would be good for my career
he's sort of next in line for a title fight but the champ is hurt or something so they're like
hey can you take this fight no i'm gonna sit on of next in line for a title fight, but the champ is hurt or something. So they're like, hey, can you take this fight?
No, I'm going to sit on my ass
and wait for the title fight because it's safer.
He gets these title fights.
Does he put on exciting fights?
No, no.
He just puts on the most boring fucking
hate Tyrone Woodley fights ever.
The whole way complaining that the reason
that people don't like him is that he's black.
That's not it.
He's just, he's turning down down fights turning down timing of fights not the they'll be like woodley we want you to fight this guy
yeah we're like woodley we want you to fight this guy he's like no i'm hurt all right woodley we
want you to fight this guy feeling better now he's you know tyron i i said it a few months maybe
a month and a half ago we were talking about
how much i hated tyron and went over all this and i was like yeah i can't wait till somebody arises
to beat the fuck out of that man and somebody did and they did in a very embarrassing fashion
they out wrestled him he out wrestled him he outstruck him he outworked him and he beat him
and it was it was it was a great thing to see. I was very happy. Let me squeeze these last
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I actually had a sneaker phase, too,
by the way.
That's a hobby that I don't understand at all.
What got you into them?
The Yeezys, definitely.
I like accessorizing.
I didn't get into a bunch of different kinds but i used to have like i don't know 45 or 50 pairs of
different nikes they were all like different colors um get 50 pairs of nikes at least at
least like like you know they weren't like the crazy man 60 to 120 dollars each or something
like that they weren't like 300 shoes or anything like dollars each or something like that they weren't like 300
shoes or anything like that but you know like if i'd see a new color that i thought i could like
make match something match with an outfit yeah yeah and i'm not talking about like a belt
yeah you know i'm not talking about like a full-on outfit where i'm like wearing like a red
jumpsuit with some red nikes or anything but like ah those those are green i kind of like the green switch
i'll wear that with this green polo shirt or whatever and i had a bunch of them and i want
to start living the kind of life where track suits are more of a thing ah become a russian
i actually started um i i had my phase where i was i had a suit face i bought like eight we got
three of all the chairs and my girlfriend was like
embarrassed because anywhere i went i was wearing a suit and she was like you know jordy we're just
out for dinner why are you wearing a suit you know um we're going to the movies why are you
wearing a suit jordy we're going to a party i was wearing a suit and then now i've kind of gotten
more to i just want to be comfortable and I don't really care what people think.
So I bought a bunch of track suits and it's amazing because not only do you look good if you have a matching bottom and top, you're also comfortable as fuck, right?
You're running around in your pajamas and you just look like an idiot sometimes or sometimes you look really cool.
No, you look athletic and you just look like an idiot sometimes or and sometimes you look really no you look athletic
and you look cool well i look like a basketball player because i'm like pretty
like a runner maybe i could be an athlete kyle wants to talk about sex kyle good sex guys remember
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Yeah, thank you.
Yeah, we need to get queb on board
Have you ever taken a dick pill? I know see I was in I was living in in the darkness, too
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No, no, no. It's not really my demo.
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I wouldn't, but I believe in it.
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Absolutely it is.
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i have a regular prescription for for cialis there's no reason to use it anymore it's it's
i added up the milligrams the other day and i'm sorry i can't think of it right now but like
um let's see these are six milligram pills i think i get 18 of them a month so that's um um what 60 900 ish 90 ish sorry nine million it's um
it's uh six times 18 is uh 60 plus 48 it's 108 so prescription is 120 milligrams for $300.
Well, you'd be a fool to not hop on board with Blue Chew.
Yeah.
It's ridiculously expensive if you're going through a prescription process, like a standard
doctor and going to the pharmacy and all that nonsense.
This is the same active ingredient.
It's chewable, though.
It doesn't taste too bad.
It tastes kind of like a sweet tart.
And it's just as effective.
Yeah, it's a little tart, a little tangy, maybe.
But it only is in your mouth for five seconds.
Yeah.
You're not going to eat them for fun or anything,
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You kind of are eating them for fun.
Well.
I certainly am.
What were you guys, before the show,
you guys mentioned a billion dollar dick.
Yes, that's the one that I was.
What was this?
Oh, shit.
I mean, it's a great segue, I guess.
So this guy didn't have blue chew.
I sent the link.
I sent my link.
I'm sure Taylor has a similar.
Is this PG?
Oh, it's not going to show. the link i sent my link i'm sure taylor has a similar is this pg um so basically the title from the article i have is billionaire diamond trader dies during penis enhancement procedure
and let me there was one little bit when i was reading this earlier that was funny to me uh
someone else talk i'll find it um yeah so the guy's name is Ahud Arlayando.
He's a Belgian.
And is this a real story, guys?
Yeah, he's a Belgian-Israeli billionaire,
and he had a heart attack during penis enlargement surgery.
He's so famous for it.
I like how they tactfully call it enhancement surgery,
as if they're adding a shiny bumper or something. He's got famous for it. I like how they tactfully call it enhancement surgery. As if they're adding a shiny bumper or something.
You got new wheels.
You're going to put spinners on it, retard?
It blows bubbles when it comes.
Yeah, here's one.
So this guy apparently had a big Napoleon complex.
According to media reports,
Linneato suffered from a so-called Napoleon complex due to his short stature.
An old friend of Linneado's who wished to remain anonymous said that he was known as
the Argentinian at Omega Diamonds because he looked like a tango dancer.
According to Linneado's friend, the only time he forgot about his short height was when
he asked his accountant to read out his bank statement, something which he did multiple
times a day.
It was reported.
So this guy was like, I don't know if he was like four foot nine or something where he's like
this this is horrible how rich am i they're like well five billion dollars ah this makes me forget
about the fact that i'm four foot eleven and have a tiny dick apparently you had to pay 195 million dollar settlement after tax authority seized an
enormous blood diamond haul from the company's offices like his company omega diamonds has been
the finger pointing at it for money laundering tax fraud and trafficking in blood diamonds
apparently this small dicked guy had other character flaws as well yeah this small dick guy and other character flaws as well yeah this small dick dude that's got to be
the most embarrassing way to die let's make him famous right i would rather be beheaded by isis
than die in a dick surgery where it comes out and knows? It might have been his fifth dick surgery.
Right?
There was so much mangled meat, there wasn't much to work with.
You add on four millimeters at a time so no one notices, right?
Just creep it longer and longer.
Or because he was getting older, it started to work less well.
He was getting unhappy with it again.
He could have spent $5 at Bluetooth.
Instead, he went this route. well he's not getting unhappy with it he could have spent five dollars at blue chew instead
he went this route i just i just love that i've got his picture on the screen talking about his
heart attack during dick enlargement surgery you should see the visual yeah how you like that you
little dicked idiot you died during a surgery that you didn't even need or maybe you did you
a little peckered asshole.
It's not the thickness of your cock.
It's the thickness of your wallet.
And he was doing fine.
He clearly didn't think so.
He died during a dick surgery.
Like, that's so embarrassing.
That's your legacy now, dude.
You made billions of dollars exploiting African children to mine minerals.
You're such a sexist.
You're such a sexist.
If a woman died getting
breast enlargement, you'd be like, oh, what a shame.
They were going to look so nice.
Because I would want to fuck them.
I don't want to fuck this little dick loser.
We don't know.
Maybe if the surgery was successful,
Taylor would have fucked him.
It would be on the table.
Especially if I find out that
if I see it and i'm intrigued and
then i find out it's a fake dick i'm not into it wait how do they make dicks bigger do they put
more sponge shit in there or something so it depends uh on the surgery there's a few different
surgeries um the main one that actually you know this the main one actually works they detach um
so so like you your like gooch area
you might notice that becomes engorged
what's a gooch?
it's when your asshole and your balls
your taint
your penis is technically running through there too
it's the same organ
and they can detach the tendon
mine's like all the way to my knee
wait the tendon
in your taint?
like between your balls and your asshole how could that do
anything so it's like that thing under your tongue holding it back if you were to cut that off maybe
you could stick your tongue out further that's exactly it that's exactly it that actually helped
me understand that's pretty close to what's going on so they they uh they detach that tendon and
they probably reattach it in some way.
But the issue is now your dick doesn't have a stable base as much.
So now it just goes, wing!
So it can not go well.
So it's bigger, but it responds like that dancing inflatable thing in front of the car dealership.
Can it be like, you know how always say like it's really hard to
pee with a boner but then if you've had dick enlargement surgery it can just go all the way
down that's a different thing that's that's keeping you from peeing this seems like a convenience
thing now or is that because it would be nice to be able to pee comfortably with an erection well
you can but you have to like lean over the toilet, if you just do a handstand, it's pointing down, you know?
Nah, I just piss in the shower.
I got no shame.
I'm reading about penis enlargement,
and you need to be circumcised before the procedure.
But what are they doing other than cutting that tendon?
When they cut that tendon,
you're able to use a lot of the length that's
going to waste down there your your penis is going to grow by a couple of inches but you're saying
the bad thing about it is that now it's totally not stable and so you probably couldn't have like
a woman riding you anymore maybe not that's what i've heard yeah yeah but but but it seems like a
really shitty well wouldn't it be partly she just need to be careful not to come out too much, right?
If she could just ride you with a good half or more in there,
then she would just continue to work the shaft.
Only if she goes out to the tip do you need that stability.
But here's the problem, guys.
You're not thinking about this.
If you get your penis enlargement surgery,
it might be too big for the lady to comfortably take a seat.
You know?
So now she's unstable just on the top
because if she goes all the way down,
she's like, fuck, that shit like...
That's next level thinking, Quib.
I like where your head's at, right?
I'm thinking ahead.
Like, I'm thinking if I get like...
That's the business.
Just a little piece extra,
like that shit's getting dangerous, you know?
If I get a few more inches, I could possibly kill somebody.
The poor girl can't ride a broomstick.
A broomstick.
I'm sorry, we can't do anything for your girth.
So you're going to be 14 inches long and three and a half inches in girth.
And don't they say it's about the girth?
I have heard that so if you like let's say this guy had he clearly was not not very psyched about his dick let's say
he had like when he's hard as can be he's like five inches when he gets this surgery that's like
just below average 5.2 is average oh Oh, okay. Four inches, whatever. It doesn't fucking matter.
The point is...
Come on, man!
Is he going to do...
Is he going from four to eight?
Is he going from four to five?
He's going to 6.1, according to Healthline.com.
Oh, thank you.
I was about to look that up myself.
Wait, what does Healthline.com say?
They're saying it's going to get him up there. like it's gonna bump an inch on there oh okay man probably
wasn't worth dying was it retard an inch is a good amount whoa wait a minute i'm reading this wrong
now we can enjoy his big dick in his casket or his stop stop the presses I've made a mistake. So 3.6 is normal, I guess average flaccid, and 5.2 is erect.
It goes to 6.1 flaccid, 7.7 erect.
Damn.
But it still is like the same little girth dick?
Yeah.
It doesn't mention girth.
That probably looks hilarious.
Why do you assume he has a girth problem?
He might have the thick six.
It's just like a tuna can.
It's so funny you said that.
I've got a friend.
He's described his roommate.
He's like, yeah, he's got a really little dick.
I was like, yeah.
He's like, yeah, it's very girthy, though.
It's like a can of tuna.
It's like, yeah, it's very girthy though. It's like a can of tuna. So it's like
an inch long.
Like eight inches around.
One inch long.
Oh man.
That's pretty funny.
Have you guys played Apex Legends at all?
Oh yeah, yeah. I haven't.
I played it a good bit. I like it a lot.
It's been interesting to watch the talent pool get better as we went.
The first week, just destroyed.
Just winning every single game.
Then slowly people get better and we win fewer games.
If I'm playing with my best two friends, we win a lot.
They're quite good.
They're better than me for sure.
I don't know we'll we'll spread
the kills around i haven't gotten more than like seven or eight kills in a game but like same
they'll get you know a dozen or 15 or uh you know up into the high teens sometimes i was playing it
and i was like wow this game really reminds me of like call of duty 4 modern warfare 2 you know
and uh you know it was on the main menu. It had the background music, the loading music
and everything. And then I realized
it's made by the same people
who made Call of Duty and Modern Warfare.
And it's really, really,
really good. It's really good.
They need to work on their weapon balance.
Oh, they released a nerf
yesterday, or a balancing patch.
Was it for the wingmen?
Peacekeeper and wingmen were two of them.
Yeah, they were the only two.
I wonder what they did, because the mobility is a big part
of what's wrong with the wingman, the ability to strafe
so hard, but doing
90 damage with a
one-point one-punch on the head is pretty
bad. They nerfed
the firing rate,
I believe.
And a few of the attachments, they nerfed too.
So they were less powerful, less
OP. But yeah, I've been playing
it a lot. I think it's a really
good game. Really good. Really fast-paced.
Really slick and smooth. Not a lot of
issues with it at all.
It just crashes sometimes.
Yeah.
Still a problem with the characters, though,
that some of them are just way way better
mainly based on hitbox like the biggest guy in the smallest character the biggest one is twice as big
as the smallest one yeah but his passive ability or whatever is a shield right
yeah but still would you rather have a shield or would you rather be able to like teleport
and be invincible invisible for like five to ten seconds
yeah wraith is quite good uh i like bangalore i like wraith uh lifeline i think is super fucking
powerful the ability to double heal you know you throw out your healing drone and and heal your
shield and if i don't can you uh can you like b hop while you heal have you gotten that down yet
not smoothly yet but i have I have a few times definitely
started bunny hopping.
Pathfinder's popular.
Is he still popular?
The one with the grappling hook?
That's his name, right?
Yeah, sorry.
Two characters are
not so popular, which is
Gibraltar and
Caustic
or something like that.
Caustic.
Yeah, and mainly because they're really big
and they don't do that much actively in the gameplay,
but you have Pathfinder who has a grapple for himself,
which makes him really mobile.
He can fly all over the place.
You have this grapple for your teammates,
which can put you into key positions,
and you have this ability where you can scan these beacons and know
where the next zone is so he's a very
like he's a great character to use
and then
there's so many Mirage
I've played a lot of Mirage
which like sends out
the clone and if you
play him really well you can like really draw out
enemies and also really good for the team but there's still there's a big difference between some
characters you would love to play and some characters are like nah i'm not even gonna
bother yeah yeah for sure um i like bangalore a lot i like that speed boost from getting hit
smoke grenades can be really helpful smoke's helpful the alt the alt's okay i i feel like
most people just run through it you know
they don't respect it um it could it'll slow you down it'll blur your vision it does damage
yeah it's it's definitely like it could be a game changer yeah for sure yeah those are the
best characters in my opinion uh caustic is just terrible toxic it's just it's kind of fun to troll
people with it and i i saw a uh he's's literally toxic. What does Caustic do?
Like spray poison on people?
Yeah, he throws down these little barrels.
And if you get near them, they spray this green gas that fucks your screen up and damages you.
And it will eventually kill you.
And I've seen people, and his name is Caustic.
And I've seen people like describe Caustic in like this 4chan thread.
They're like...
Another thing you need to know is that all the characters in the game,
most of them, the vast majority,
are either minorities or are minorities.
Most of the characters are minorities.
They're not minorities, are they?
Well, in this game, they're minorities.
One of them, the big fat guy,
is a gay Samoan motorcycle riding guy.
They include if someone's gay or not?
Yeah.
Like who they want to fuck?
Is there a fucking portion of the game where that's important?
Well, he's got a backstory about riding motorcycles with his boyfriend.
That's how that's known.
One of the characters is non-binary and wears a mask,
so you never even see what's going on there.
Who's that?
Bloodhound? Yeah, Bloodhound's non-binary and wears a mask so you never even see what's going on there who's that bloodhound
yeah bloodhound's non-binary um and then the lifeline is uh an african-american chick
probably not american just she's black whatever and uh and then the the the then there's a white
girl and anyway they were like caustic is my favorite character he gasses minorities
he gasses minorities and he's a straight white man i'm changing his name to holla caustic
oh jesus i processed that slow yeah i was like damn 4chan that is ruthless all right all right
it's weird.
You want to just not notice stuff like that.
I play Left 4 Dead, right?
Still one of the top 50 most popular games on Steam.
But three out of the eight characters are black.
So it's not like it's outrageous or anything.
It's just there's a lot of black people.
Why percentage compared to, I think, the you know in the zombie apocalypse they run faster there you go yeah no quib just won me over true yeah
maybe all the zombies are white because they suck at apocalypsing yeah maybe so maybe so but yeah apex is a apex is a real fun game uh i i like it a lot um and you
know it's so populated that you're just constantly getting right back in the game yeah it's real nice
this is uh real quick yeah oh go ahead no no i was just gonna say matchmaking is great if it works
this is this a battle Royale game? Yeah.
Wait, how does that work?
So there's like a whole squad.
So there's going to be like 10 caustics
and 10 bloodhounds or whatever.
So really quickly for everybody who doesn't know,
it's a Battle Royale first-person shooter.
Very simple. You land, you loot.
But there's a little twist to it.
It's 20
squads of three people and every squad
gets to pick out of eight champions legends and every legend has different abilities and you can
only have one legend per team right so you can choose you can be like okay well i'm gonna go
this support character because if my team then goes down i can
heal them up and shield them and you know do these type of things and then somebody else will go okay
well i'm gonna go a bit more aggressive or you all agree to all going really aggressive characters
so you're like one character is really good at hunting down the enemies and then the other ones
they might be able to disengage with their abilities without getting hit, right?
And then you have Caustic, who can play very defensive and set up traps.
So you can, you know, play it as however you want to play it.
It's a really good game. It's free. Free to play.
Not made by Webble Games, unfortunately. I didn't make it.
No. Sorry, guys.
I've been digging it. That's the main thing i've been playing
lately same yeah that's pretty funny though that that 4chan joke about caustic i wouldn't see i
wouldn't know these things yeah i've seen some people playing pretty creatively um they'll like
he's a trap character you can play those people the most creatively always it seems did you did
you see the one where they trap people in the room yeah genuinely create a gas chamber yeah they um doors in this game have an interesting mechanic
um where if there's something in the way of the door you can't open the door even if it's a person
but you can do this drop kick yeah but but not everybody knows how to do the drop kick or you
can throw a grenade you can blow it but it takes a little time to pull that off and this guy like
hides up and he gets in a room very small room, and kind of hides up
on a ledge.
And he waits for these guys to run
into the room. He puts a lot of loot
in the room. He drops all his
everything. So it looks like, oh my
God, this is a gold mine.
When they run in,
the door closes behind him and he drops
the canister in front
of the door. And he just keeps dropping canisters. And the canister in front of the door and he just keeps
dropping them yeah and they can't get out he just he just baits people in and then gases them and
then steals their shit yeah he gases all three of them to death it's pretty funny to watch there's
guys who've done that um on all the battle royales not gas of course but but like they'll hide on a
ledge and and like fill a room up with loot and just wait
and then troll people in
ridiculous ways.
I can't remember the guy's name, but
he would somehow
get in PUBG, he'd get the motorcycle
inside of a house
and he'd wait for somebody to open
the bathroom door and he's in the bathroom
on a motorcycle
and he just runs him over.
You must have waited for like hours to play it forever.
He's just like, come on, come on. And as soon as he opens the door he's like, man.
You guys have played a ton of these Battle Royale games. Where does this one
stack rank for you? Because I feel like there's always recency bias where everyone's like,
this is the great one now yeah this one's real clean all right so like a lot of the battle royales have issues even
cod when it came out um you know it had a lot of balance shit going on there was there's a lot of
there were some issues this one doesn't have a whole lot like i mentioned like a couple of the
guns seem unbalanced um but it seems like they worked that out very recently this is very clean not a lot of
real issues there's a little bit of networking going on where like games will drop and the game
will crash sometimes too that's a that's a thing but those are just you know the growth uh pains
you know yeah pub g did not handle their growth nearly as well as this is terrible. Yeah. So obviously I played a few battle royales on my channel.
And I played like Fortnite from the day it came out.
PUBG the day it came out.
Played H1Z1, COD.
I think the worst one is COD, right?
You know, I really, really didn't like it.
It just didn't have any substance to it. And it looting for 10 minutes running around and you're dead right instantly dead um
you didn't have any any any way of like resurrecting yourself with apex you can die
instantly but you're always in a squad of three. If you die in Apex,
you first go to the ground, then you can
still crawl around, your teammates can resurrect
you. If you die then,
they have 90 seconds to pick up your banner
and they can resurrect you later on in the game.
So that's
I feel like their way of fixing
that issue. And also
where COD is just
and Call of Duty, PUBG and Fortnite, every
game is the same where you just decide where you want to land and enemies land in different
locations and loot's different. With Apex, it introduces a new layer of team building
because you need to pick one of these legends right and there are eight
legends to pick from they're going to be introducing many many many more so now instead of just it
being the same game you can say okay now I'm going to play as Caustic now I'm going to play as
Lifeline I'm going to play as Bloodhound which all have different play styles and all have different
abilities and that's what I really, really like from it.
And to also consider the game's only a month old.
They literally announced it a month ago
and then released it, or three weeks ago.
I think they're on track to becoming one of the biggest.
Obviously, Fortnite still dwarfs any of these guys.
But I think it's a serious competitor with with pubg
like a billion dollar profit month a year they released it in february which is crappy time to
release a game right no one does it you think it was just late that's my theory they probably were
targeting like a november i um well i think they they were not necessarily doing that they they
might have just been waiting for the
quietest season which february is the month with the least games being released so there was no
competition on the market and uh or no competition of new games and they just dropped it and they
said let's just do it um also something some juicy juicy news fortnite has a fortnite supporter
creator are you guys aware of that you know what that is use code cops fortnite supporter creator Also, some juicy news. Fortnite has a Fortnite Supporter Creator.
Are you guys aware of that?
Do you know what that is?
Use code COPS, Fortnite Supporter Creator.
How do you spell COPS?
K-O-P-S?
K-O-P-S, right?
So if you use code COPS in the Fortnite store, there's a little button.
It says Supporter Creator.
Now, whatever you spend in Fortnite, I get 5% off.
Okay?
So if you spend $100, I get $5, right?
Now this is what Fortnite did,
which was a little bit interesting.
Right at the time that Apex Legends came out,
they said Fortnite supported creator
now pays four times as much money, okay?
So me as a YouTuber, I'm like, like okay gotta make some money gotta play fortnite
right and there's so many other guys uh streamers and everything who didn't stream apex because
fortnite was paying four times as much money you might be thinking how much money these guys making
they're making a lot of money the top stream they're making six, maybe seven digits a month
of this Fortnite support
creator. And these are not confirmed or anything.
These are rumors. But
I definitely could see it
happen, right? So
maybe, I don't
know, maybe they thought we could play Epic Games
by releasing it well before their
new season comes out, and Epic Games
being Fortnite, well before their new season comes out and epic games being fortnite
well before their new season comes out it's quiet right now what are they gonna do how are they
gonna react right and um i mean they did a great job 50 million players already yeah it's insane
yeah it's crazy they deserve it it's a lot of fun. Yeah, definitely.
And free-to-play is, you know,
that's an incredible way to do things.
It's an interesting business model.
It's risky.
It's risky.
I was ready to buy the shit.
I'd pay $60 for that game.
It feels like a $60 game to me.
But if it was $60,
it wouldn't have 50 million players.
It wouldn't be this cultural phenomenon. If it was $60, it wouldn't have 50 million players. It wouldn't be this cultural phenomenon.
If it was $60, would we even be talking about it?
But battle royales only usually work if they have that initial fan base.
You need players to fill up these lobbies quick and get them going.
You don't want to wait for two minutes.
In League of Legends, you wait for five minutes,
character select menus and blah, blah, blah.
But with these Battle Royales,
you want to have a big fan base.
Everybody starts playing it and there you go.
Everybody can download it.
The amount of money people are spending on average
per Fortnite install is just insane, right?
They're paying more than $60 on average.
Like, it's stupid
i mean you don't watch this video of a guy knocking a woman out in the street
i i'd love to watch that nice transition let's do it
what do i need to click here it looks like taylor links something at the very bottom oh all right something about a mirror
bot so i clicked the top link and i got some trap music oh i found it yeah same oh no the one i
linked is the one that chis provided okay but then what do i click because it takes me to the screen
oh i see i see my bad my bad i'll wait for you guys to catch up. It should just have a video there. Okay, so is he a girl?
I'm a zero.
I'm cute at zero.
Are we all cute at zero?
Yeah.
It's a very short video.
Everyone?
Yep.
Ready, set, play.
All right.
Girl, talking to him.
Oh!
One punch, she's back.
Two, and she's out!
But why?
Now, I don't know the situation.
You know what?
But I agree with him.
I agree with her.
I agree with her.
Now, I don't take the guy's side or the girl's side every time, right?
But this time I do.
Usually my knock is this hey if you're
gonna hit some guy right guy'll be like sitting in a chair and a girl be pounding on him he'll
let her get away with two or three free shots before he demonstrates what happens when boys
fight girls that is not the situation here they're just kind of nose to nose yelling at each other
and it seems that he threw the first punch the only punches yeah
and he was probably being very annoying
i wouldn't doubt it uh and also in this situation one punch she was a little bit
yes she would have done the job just like bam, bam, fuck off. And then, you know, he could have followed up with a push.
What I'm saying is that he thinks this woman would have learned her lesson after the first punch.
I mean, and I'm saying that was even too much because she didn't hit him.
Sometimes it takes more than one hit for a woman to learn her lesson.
Sean Connery.
Sometimes it takes four or five.
Depending on how patient your ring hand is.
Because he beat women and he enjoyed
talking about it.
I'm not totally in favor of it.
My rule is
if you get assaulted, you can
defend yourself, right? I was watching this video. I didn't see you get assaulted, you can defend yourself, right?
I was watching this video.
I didn't see him getting assaulted, but it could have been the camera angle too, right?
And even in a situation like that, you're not going to go for the cheap knockout.
Well, I think this was pretty cheap.
Like one, she was already like halfway gone, right?
Yeah.
So even if he got assaulted, just go for one good punch back off
or whatever even then like he had plenty of room to walk away you know why why would you do it he
wasn't trapped if you look at this rationally the way you are then yes all of those points but then
he most likely was drunk and you know know... I have taken this stance...
Obviously, he suckered her pretty good.
Yeah, I've taken this stance where...
Let's take away the whole girl thing in this.
If there's two guys,
one of them can say enough to warrant a hit.
Taylor's on the other side.
I don't know if he's changed.
But he's like,
no, you never escalate it from the verbal to the physical.
That's never okay.
And I'm like,
eh, no, because then you can just say whatever you want forever and ever without consequence.
With a woman, I don't think it's appropriate.
It's almost like it's free speech.
Yeah.
With a woman, it's not appropriate.
With a man, it can be.
Yeah, it is possible to write checks with your mouth that your ass can't catch.
And I think that that's legitimate.
I think that there are areas perhaps that any one of us are so sensitive to that you'd want to knock the guy out.
And I think that's okay.
Otherwise, there's just chaos.
You've got to have consequences for your actions.
You can just walk away.
No, dude.
When someone misdegenders me, you better believe I'm throwing hands.
Imagine how ugly a woman I would be.
Just fucking hitting her.
No, Quib, you're totally right.
That was a sucker punch.
You shouldn't do that to women.
I mean, if he got attacked,
feel free to defend yourself.
I feel like, look at the video.
The guy is on the middle of the street.
Just walk away.
I didn't like that one.
That one to me seemed...
I wish we saw the what
happened first right like maybe that woman had just attacked maybe she right it could be one
of those videos i don't know if you saw it there was a video of a a guy who like completely like
destroyed a kid like a grown adult like just go watch that and then but then like that was taken
out of context
and like the mom posted just that clip on Facebook.
Like my son got assaulted.
But then before that, you saw him like keying cars
and he was like hitting the guy and everything.
So with these type of YouTube videos
or live leak videos or whatever,
you never know like what.
Free speech isn't freedom to say anything you want.
Free speech is freedom from government oppression.
It's not freedom from consequences of your actions.
Yeah, but we also don't want to start a trend where it's like,
free speech only means the government can't fuck with you.
That's what it means.
But people on the street assaulting you are totally in the right.
Don't be a dick.
Well, yeah, you shouldn't be a dick.
And also, the thing about it for me that makes it ridiculous,
this one particularly, is usually when you see something like that
where the guy strikes back, he's in the middle of a huge crowd.
There's a bunch of people around.
There's mayhem.
You can't just turn around and leave.
It ramps it up a little bit.
It was just a totally empty street behind him.
He could have turned around and left at any point did you see the one in the
subway where the guy's like like a giant and he just slaps oh with the eight ball jacket yeah
yes yeah oh did we watch that this is an older one in a sub right i think there were maybe three
girls and they kind of fed off of each other's insulting this guy about how his jacket was out of style and
lots of problems like that and then did he backhand her or slap her he was given up both
ways but he was trapped trapped in the subway being attacked by three women and he didn't go
for like the cheap knockout double like sucker punch like he just went for like what and then you saw her soul like leave her body for a
second and the thing came back and she was like oh she was bullying him for minutes like if you
watch the whole video it's eight minutes long or something crazy like that and she just relentlessly
lap yapping at him yapping at him and he's not giving it back he's not having fun he's like silently riding the subway while she verbally abuses him
and as per woody law he uh was validated in hitting her back and i think that's what the
world saw it too yeah you know women would behave you know say what you will about the middle east
and those nations but if we burk but if we Burke-ified our women,
I bet they'd behave a little better.
Yeah?
No.
They would behave better.
Yeah, yeah.
Take away their right to drive.
As long as we get to wear those cool robes.
Imagine how much your insurance would go down
if women weren't allowed to drive.
With the whips around your head those are fucking cool man i bet they i bet they look breezy they look
they look they look like on a hot summer day are they wearing anything under there probably not
no burkas no no no no no no no the dudes wear those white robes with that with that head wrap
thing all right i then i i apologize i was incorrect those look very comfortable yeah I'm jealous of
like the Saudi Arabians when they get to show up and meet with our politicians
and we're in those uncomfortable ties and those collared shirts just wear one
of those and they're wearing just a robe and then something like fucking you feel
wrong you're doing it wrong just Just show up to your next suit event
just in one of those robes.
They'll take you super seriously.
If Putin showed up
to the next meeting with Trump
in a black Adidas track suit,
that would be the funniest
thing.
With Taylor's beard, I feel like he could pull
off a Middle Eastern thing if he dressed
the part. Put on some sunglasses.
Definitely with some aviators on.
And just whenever there's food, just say,
no bacon, and make sure it's halal.
Yeah, my skin tone is very Middle Eastern.
You'll sell it.
You need a little spray tan. I'll give you that.
Just a touch.
Hey, Halloween?
Halloween this year, you know?
I'm not doing arab face or whatever they
would call it i'm not doing brown face ah come on just one day imagine if i showed up next year
for a halloween episode and i was dressed as like an isis with like real brown face. Like we'd have to have a real talk before the episode.
Like, Taylor, you gotta go wash it off.
I know, I know.
You keep going on about artistic expression, but you're just dressed as Muhammad Atta.
What was your last idea?
Oh, you were...
Can I even say it?
I don't know if I should say it.
Taylor's original Halloween costume idea got shot down.
Oh, yeah. Yeah yeah that that's because i
i don't know if i want to it's not that bad i mean i i i have a i have a funny blackface story too
no it wasn't black it was a million times less bad than that oh okay chis i wrote to be the voice of reason And be like Taylor that's very very funny
But you can't do it
On the show
Because it's not appropriate
For advertisers
Because this and you dressed up in this
And I'm like okay
Enough said Chiz I'm really pissed
I already spent $70
Did you spend $70 on it?
Because you told us you were able to cancel a lot
I went in and cancelled it And it showed up Did you spend $70 on it? Because you told us you were able to cancel a lot.
I went in and canceled it, and it showed up.
So I was on the hook for it.
So I've got a couple pieces to that outfit just sitting around.
Maybe next year.
I have a funny blackface story.
So just to put into perspective what I'm talking about,
just Google this, and it's a dutch tradition and when i was growing up i've seen this it's really funny when i when i was growing up i
would dress up like this and act in front of the kids because that's black tradition
uh black pete yeah yeah and um and i would paint my face and you know wear a wig or
not wear a wig because i have the same hair and then paint your paint your lips red and as a kid
this is you know this is what santa claus originated from from this dutch tradition
um but now the elves have been are like different and and. So I would go around, give the kids their presents and give them candy and blah, blah, blah.
And everybody's happy.
Nothing was up.
Up until a few years later, I was growing up and I was introduced to blackface.
And I'm like, what's wrong with painting your face black?
And then I was introduced.
And I'm like, what's wrong with painting your face black?
And then I was introduced, like, my eyes opened up.
And this whole racist thing that happened in America and, you know, probably a bunch of other places too.
And I was like, oh, shit, that's what I used to do as a kid.
That's a Dutch tradition.
And overseas, everybody thinks, you know, if I would would do that that i'm a fucking racist and you know how i found out is in a video i partially painted my face black um that's how
you found out by doing blackface what a horrible way to put it but for like from my perspective
and i completely understand it now of course but but I was raised with this tradition and it was normal and everybody loved it.
There was not a single person at the time who called it racist or anything.
Right.
Not until like a few years ago.
Meanwhile, I made the video and the comments were filled with, he's doing blackface, he's doing blackface.
And I'm like, what the fuck is blackface?
And then I started researching it and I'm like, what the fuck is blackface? And then I started researching it.
And I'm like, oh, my God, this is horrible.
You know, I didn't know this.
I didn't know this was a thing.
And it just shows some cultures simply clash.
And, you know, I never, ever, ever meant anything racist with it or whatever.
Because, like, these people, like, your people are doing this in a celebratory way
there's nothing loved by the racist about it the kids love these guys are they supposed to be black
candy and they're probably supposed to be black but in the u.s blackface was done like mockingly
also ha ha ha let's laugh at black also the black was uh not because they were brown or black or anything.
The story was, yeah, they went into the chimneys and they got black because of that, right? Yeah, isn't Black Pete like Belschnickel's, like, isn't that the version of Santa?
Sinterklaas.
Sinterklaas.
Which sounds like Santa Claus, and that's where the name came from.
But then, you know, Coca-Cola andcola and yeah if you ever watch it's just it's just with my own american upbringing and
like seeing these pictures of these dutch people with black face on wearing like black people wigs
like i can't even put myself in the dutch tradition of it i'm just like ah not a good look but there's pretty
fucking racist there's but there was nothing racist to it right and it's like no no if if i
if i you know if i do a cosplay and and you know i cosplay as a as a black character or anybody else
who who i don't really resemble like i do it out of respect. I do it because this is art form.
This is cool.
And being racist
is saying, I hate these people
because of
their race.
You don't dress up as Spider-Man and call it Spidey face.
No, you're emulating your heroes.
And if your hero is Emmett Smith,
then you put it on a
cowboy's uniform and blackface, right?
Dude, non-white races need to start doing whiteface the way Dave Chappelle did in so many skits.
And it was hilarious.
So here's an article from The Guardian.
Black Pete exposes the Netherlands' problem with race.
White people dressing up as fools with black faces is not the harmless christmas fun that the dutch make it out
to be okay while growing up i didn't i never ever experienced racism like under you know with with
with my friends or anything i had a big big like i'd muslim uh you know middle eastern neighbors
in my friends group i had had some people from South America.
I had people all over the place.
And then you get introduced to the internet and all of a sudden everything's racist.
You know, it's just a Dutch tradition.
In America, you have Santa Claus.
It's not even about blackface.
It's just they go through the chimney
and they get soot on their face,
but not necessarily their lips or the palms of their hands.
Then why does their hair become like a black person's?
I have help with that.
I covered my joke. In America, you have Santa Claus in the UK. He's Father Christmas. Then why does their hair become like a black person's? I have help with that. Are you covering for a joke?
In America, you have Santa Claus.
In the UK, he's Father Christmas.
And in the Netherlands, he's called Sinterklaas.
Unlike the other Santas, though,
Dutch Sinterklaas arrives with his slave called Black Pete.
The slave comes dressed like a Renaissance minstrel.
Black face, painted red lips lips afro wig the arrival
is a huge event cinder klaus and black pete make a grand entrance and the whole parade is broadcast
on public television cinder klaus sits tall on a white horse while his black servants share candy
to the children on the sidelines and families from all over the country's turn up to watch of course
There are always several black feets typically played by white people all in blackface
Let's see sounds a little racist more so than okay quick correction
Everything was correct. However
They're not his slaves
More like servants who can't leave.
They're like elves, aren't they?
They're like the elves, right?
They're, you know, Santa's elves.
Okay, okay, sure.
Your Honor, these are merely elves of mine.
Working the land, chilling the soil.
I think it's fine as long as there's no racist intent and they said like we don't have any racist intent the whole like the people who organized the whole parade every year so what
they started doing is they started doing peats in every different color so you have rainbow peat you
know you have a white peat now you have a black peat just for red peat dude this beat that beat
but there are still people protesting because some some schools still have like black Pete. You have a red Pete. You have this Pete, that Pete. But there are still people protesting because some schools still have black Pete and blah, blah, blah.
I think it's stupid.
Once you start doing rainbow Pete, the LGBTQ guys are going to go.
You know, maybe they'll get mad, right?
Yeah.
But at the end of the day, there's no racist intent.
The kids don't view black Pete as slave.
I'll still find a way to be offended.
Just give me a minute.
I don't think for a second there's any racist intent in this.
It's just a goofy-ass tradition.
But from an American set of eyes,
I can't not see racism when I see it.
Just because of our history.
Yeah, it's a little racist.
I mean, the Dutch were the ones providing the ships
for the slave trade.
We didn't do much
slaving, but we did
make sure the slave trade was
slave traders.
It's in the picks and shovels.
They were entrepreneurs even back
then. The Dutch
invented the stock market
mainly because of the slave
trade. They also invented the stock market, mainly because of the slave trade.
They also invented the weed cookie.
They might have.
I would bet against the Dutch for that.
No.
They're very industrious, smart people.
They invented a more...
The Netherlands had free pot when no one else did.
What did the guy from Mexico that briefly lived in the Netherlands invent, Kyle?
What did Paco invent
in the Netherlands? He invented a more efficient
slave whip.
Did you know in this country you can just
wear blackface?
But if it's not on Christmas, people get upset.
Alright.
So, Quib.
Yeah, Quib. Anything you want to shout out before you go new game uh avocado is
out april 25th on steam go check it out yeah that's the first time i'm promoting something
guys can you say it again it's avocado avocado like havoc uh okay avocado gotcha okay and then april april you know the month
i'm aware and then the 25 25 25 i've heard of that yeah that's that's eight months before
sinter class sinter class and black pete is oh no tiny afric tiny African-American slave boy. Not racist
at all. He likes it.
Are there any
options?
It's called Slave Day.
Chiz
shared a link to me of the
PK subreddit with a bunch of kind words
to me, so thank you all for saying that.
I, of course, did enter my plea deal a couple
days ago, which is a very good thing for me. Don, uh, don't believe any legal experts on the internet.
It's, it's, it's all good stuff. It's as good as it's going to get at the very least. And, uh,
and I'm pretty happy that my whole process is wrapping up sooner rather than later. It'll be
in this calendar year. It'll only be three years of this nonsense. Uh, so thank you for all of your
kind words.
I appreciated them.
Yeah, Kyle explained how Please worked,
and I realized how little I knew about legal system.
There's a lot to learn.
Is that it?
PKA 429?
Yeah, check out our wonderful sponsors.
Check out Quebble Cop's new game coming April 25th.
Avocado.
And don't leave me. And have a hard dick while you're playing it. Hard as a rock. Oh, don't. Avocado. Don't leave me.
Have a hard dick while you're playing it.
Hard as a rock.
Don't worry, guys. That'll be easy.
Very good.
PGA 429.