Painkiller Already - Painkiller Already #433

Episode Date: April 12, 2019

On this week's PKA, the original OG himself, Hutch Hutchy Hutchinson has returned... armed with knowledge to engage in a heated talk about the Mueller investigation and what's been released so far wit...h Taylor and Woody, then the guys review the back & forth tweets between McGregor and Khabib and determine who was the King of Trash Talk, and of course it wouldn't be PKA if we didn't discuss a man snapping, losing his cool and attacking a cashier for incorrectly bagging his groceries and "crushing" his chips. So tune in for a bumpy ride!

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 Thank you already. Episode 433 with our guest Hutch. Kyle? A couple of sponsors tonight, Squarespace and Postmates. We'll get to them later on, but yeah, Hutch is on the show. How's it going, Hutch? Very well. How are you guys doing? Good. Just doing swimmingly. This episode is also brought to you by Frontiersman Bear Attack Spray, which you too can order drunk off Amazon. I think I have that same spray in my golf cart. When this showed up, I was like, did my girlfriend order this?
Starting point is 00:00:28 And then I checked my account history, and I spent $35 on bear spray. I own guns. Why did I order this? Because you don't want to kill the neighbor's dogs. It's like a bear repellent. Is that what it is? It's like pepper spray for bears.
Starting point is 00:00:42 It shoots 30 feet. Huh. So, you know like pepper spray for bears. It shoots 30 feet. Huh. So, you know, I could down bears. All these suburban bears in Missouri. Huge problem. I don't believe you. You're right. It's a lie. It's true in Jersey. I'd believe you if you told me.
Starting point is 00:00:57 Yeah. They have bears in Jersey? Dude, tons of bears in Jersey. It's a giant problem. My father-in-law mowed the yard with a 44 Magnum strapped to his hip in hopes that that might help if it came down to it. Kyle, would it? It'd help.
Starting point is 00:01:11 It'd help, yeah. Especially against a black bear. .44 is a pretty big bullet. Black or brown, yeah. It was no joke. I was low-key hoping for it, but I didn't get it. I'd love to kill a bear with a.44 Magnum. I'm going bear hunting at some point with a bow and arrow.
Starting point is 00:01:29 I used to look down on that, but now I want to kill a bear and have a bear rug. I'm so chill. I never said anything or insulted his manhood, but I always thought his gun was way more manly than his lawnmower. He needed to step up in the riding mower category. Isn't the 10mm handgun what they recommend for grizzlies, if it's a handgun? I don't think so.
Starting point is 00:01:52 No? I may have made that up. Probably a.50 S&W. Oh, probably. That's the big one that hurts your hand, right? Yeah, the.500 S&W. It probably hurts bears. It hurts bears real bad if you could fucking hit them. It's not what I would want, but, you know.
Starting point is 00:02:09 I feel like any... Oh, go ahead, Todd. I was just going to say, you know what's even more problematic than going on Amazon after you've been drinking is going on Amazon after you've been smoking pot. I ordered 10 bags of Orza pasta. 10 bags of Orza pasta. 10 bags of Orza pasta. I had no memory of ordering it until it showed up at the door in a big box.
Starting point is 00:02:30 I also got high and decided it would be a good idea to order a bigger cage. We have two cats. One of them is a little bit more aggressive than the other. So sometimes she goes in a cage and she's getting a little too aggressive. Too handsy. And so I bought her this cage and it took up like a quarter of the room when I put
Starting point is 00:02:49 it all together. It was like five feet wide and probably seven feet tall. For a cat? Yeah. And I thought it was going to be a great idea until I put the whole thing together and then we couldn't even get into the bathroom because it was... That's what a great Dane cage is like.
Starting point is 00:03:06 Yeah, it's exactly, I think, what the sort of cage that it was built for is for big dogs like a Great Dane. You need that for a Great Dane, though, because they're enormous. They're pretty big, yeah. Mastiffs are even bigger, man. Have you seen them? Is that what they're called, Mastiff?
Starting point is 00:03:24 Yeah, Mastiff. Those giant dogs that are really furry. They're not as tall, but they're bigger. They're thick with three seams. They're like 200 pounds, these dogs. It's crazy. My sister's got a couple of them, and she can barely walk them. She probably feels very safe when she's walking them, though. I don't know who would fuck with her with those dogs next to her.
Starting point is 00:03:43 I'll cross the street if i see a particularly angsty looking pitbull i wish somebody would do something about my neighbor's fucking pitbulls i go out in the backyard to drink my coffee and look at the sunrise and this big fucking pitbull is looking at me like i'm an invader like i'm an alien being he's never seen before even though he sees me every fucking morning when i go outside to smoke my coffee and look at the sunrise. And he comes at me like, oof, oof, oof. Is smoking your coffee an expression that I'm unfamiliar with? I said drinking my coffee. It's a new vape product.
Starting point is 00:04:13 Yeah. He did not. You can be a alcohol now. I may have. Play it back, guys. And so I had a lady friend over, and she's a tiny gal, like five feet nothing, like 95 pounds. And I'm like, she's already out there sitting on the ground and like messing with her phone. And I walk out and I see the pit bull staring at her and like growling.
Starting point is 00:04:36 And I'm like, you didn't see the pit bull? You didn't see the pit bull? And she's like, what? What pit bull? Oh, God. And I'm like still in the doorway. Like I'm not coming to save her. I'm like, get in. Come on, get in come on get in come on come on hurry hurry hurry and she like gets up and scrambles in before the pit bull can come over and fucking kill her because i was not going
Starting point is 00:04:53 out there i unarmed like what i don't even have a big enough knife you know to deal with that thing oh you go with that thing with a knife it's gonna fuck have you looked at the front of a pit bull it looks like that thing overhead presses every day every day every day it's got that's the only dog i've seen with like chest definition yeah you'll see it's like that thing's got pecs it's got giant ass triceps like and she was like you know grapes are toxic to dogs and i was like really so you're saying if uh someone threw a whole bunch of like grapes mixed in with some slim jim slices over there in the backyard over there that might not have this problem anymore and she's like yeah i think that's solved the whole problem take a lot of grapes though and
Starting point is 00:05:35 i was like green or red was michael drowning pit bulls because that's not nearly as bad of a crime then poisoning him with grapes then poisoning no then like if he was drowning like a lab oh yeah he was drowning he was drowning pitbulls okay well then it's good that he got to come back he was euthanizing the pitbulls himself
Starting point is 00:05:56 yeah it's nothing more than a bucket I assume it wasn't just to torture him just to torture him I think it was to torture him just to torture him because that's what they do in dog fighting they they'll like semi-drown him and like hit him and beat him and really get him angry yeah they'll be come on you know your dog's gonna be a good fighter if you're cutting him and and like drowning him and stuff he's gonna come like he'd kill the ones that were weak and weren't aggressive enough it sounded like or the ones that were injured from a fight
Starting point is 00:06:23 and and since they'd lost that said fight, maybe they were no good anymore. But, you know, I never thought about that, Taylor. They were pit bulls he was raping and murdering. So maybe I'm not getting that. No, he didn't rape any of the dogs. He did rape them. It's called a rape stand that you lock the female in
Starting point is 00:06:42 so that the male pit bull can breed them. Pit bulls don't have sex, I heard. They just spring out of the ground. Spray mystical creatures. Chicken reference. Tahatch, we got off the topic of you. I was thinking recently, a lot of...
Starting point is 00:07:00 So YouTube's been around longer than Twitch. I don't know if it's been around longer, but it's been big longer. Definitely been around longer. Okay. And so't know if it's been around longer, but it's been big longer. Definitely been around longer. Okay. And so I feel like we've seen the life cycle. Like a lot of YouTubers have come and gone. They have this burnout.
Starting point is 00:07:12 They're like the most awesome thing, and they can't believe how amazing their lives are. And then they start hitting you with the, like, I'm depressed. I can't. Like, I haven't been enjoying the last nine months of my life type thing. We've seen that repeatedly. I think the Twitch treadmill is harder. And I came to ask you about it.
Starting point is 00:07:34 Um, I don't agree. Okay. That hasn't. Well, I mean, it just depends on the person, but like there's no long tail. You don't work today. You don't make anything. And if you take off and if you don't like meet your schedule like you're just gone you know people aren't wait there's no notification
Starting point is 00:07:51 like they're not waiting for you in the same way they go to someone else um yeah there's like if so if you take like a few days off that you normally wouldn't take off the sub counts can fluctuate dramatically but that's also a byproduct of them introducing twitch prime which basically doubled every every streamer's income overnight at least like for me it like tripled it over time like a pretty short time too it only took like six months so there's there's a trade-off like that looks bad or it looks pretty stressful and sometimes it is stressful like i just took a week off to go take a vacation with my girlfriend and um i was you know i did i did my i actually set a rule for myself i wasn't going to look at the sub count while i was gone i was only going to look at it when i got back and it ended up being like a few hundred subs which is kind of a lot you know but
Starting point is 00:08:37 uh it wasn't as bad as i thought it was going to be the thing with twitch is it's more like... I feel like YouTube takes more... Like a lot more... Oh, I don't know. Now I'm breaking it down into two simple terms. Because I was going to say, I feel like YouTube takes a lot more creativity because you have to make sure that you're packing, ideally, your most entertaining 5 or 10 minutes
Starting point is 00:09:00 into this video. But then you have streamers like Doc who puts a shitload of effort into his production value and you can tell that he'll sit there and brainstorm ideas and sort of flesh them out and then he just does this stuff that nobody else is doing so again i think it really depends on on who you talk to but in my experience twitch has been much more uh like help much healthier for me and healthier that's andier. And the other thing too is like, before you start talking again,
Starting point is 00:09:29 but like YouTube, so much of it is based on algorithms that change sometimes month to month and they'll introduce some big change and we've all been seeing it happening pretty slowly but steadily over the last 10 years where they're kind of slowly pushing out the sort of the content that was really popular around the time that like we
Starting point is 00:09:50 were coming up and they're, they're making more space for like the Jimmy Kimmel clips and the, and the YouTubers that are super brand safe. And, um, uh, I think that's by design. I think they've purposefully kind of been slow rolling these changes so as not to disrupt the platform and then, you know, sort of like get people used to the temperature like gradually instead of just throwing you into a hot tub um but it youtube can be very very very volatile in that respect and so the fact that i've refocused my energy to different platforms not just
Starting point is 00:10:20 twitch but now twitter's you know has monetization and and there's all these other avenues that weren't there like 10 years ago and i'm i feel way happier now than i yeah i think twitch is only like that much worse and like like that for people like wings who are so hated cut you up to speed on wings no so um there is an economy that have sprouted around wings and they what they do is they take clips of his stream the worst parts which to be fair sometimes most interesting parts if he streams for three hours they get half an hour of content let's be clear about this like it's not like they've got three minute long videos. And they're monetizing it on YouTube?
Starting point is 00:11:08 They'll be uploading it and monetizing it? Some are. And there'll be moments he died and perhaps didn't react maturely about it. I die and I blame it on you, Hutch. Like, damn it, Hutch, why weren't you backing me up? I'm dead now.
Starting point is 00:11:24 And so there'll be that uh anyway they just take a whole montage of the worst moments of his stream string it together and say like you know check out wings his latest meltdown angry stream fail whatever and the i mean these videos get tens of thousands of views sometimes hundreds of thousands and what it equates to and i keep using this term is it so wings doesn't have a lot of other career options so what he's doing is he's just selling his mental health for cash in hopes of opening some other door later you know maybe he'll get fit and become a fireman or something like that how is he monetizing it what do you mean he's so he's on twitch uh twitch i meant to say and uh and he gets you know subs and donations just like
Starting point is 00:12:10 everybody else okay he's like he's a lot more famous than his income would imply right you know so that there's these other guys sean ranklin lean I can't even name them all. Conway Conman. Conway Conman. Conway Conman. Who make videos. Wings of Lardation. They're getting tons of views. And the Wings ecosystem is fairly large, even though not everybody wants to actually see it live on stream and donate it to Wings himself.
Starting point is 00:12:43 So he's probably the most extreme example of like selling your health for cash no ice poseidon is got to be the most extreme example i was going to say ice poseidon is right there mental health your personal safety and your livelihood and your freedom for health for for money he seems to like it though like he seems to genuinely no maybe i'm totally out-facing. No, he's moving right now. He's in the process of trying to move to a new place and escape.
Starting point is 00:13:12 The FBI raided him the other day because somebody spoofed his IP. Oh, that's right. I read about that. They have all of his computers and electronics. He's got a lorry that's like 25 to retain or 700 an hour trying to get his shit back, but he's he's got a lorry that's like 25 to retain or 700 an hour trying to get his shit back but that's now would they prosecute him for like let's say they
Starting point is 00:13:30 found not anymore want to speculate one thing that i find is definitely true with ice is he it's true with a lot of people but he really cares what his subscribers think you know he his subscribers or fans or call them what you will they flow in and out of loving and hating him more hate than love in the last couple of months but you know there are times when they're like this is brilliant content this is the coolest thing i really like what you're doing here this is creative this is great the first rv trip comes to mind that you know what did he what is that giant ball he got called is there a name for it where he he got into a giant hamster ball rolled it down the streets of la and said that he was a bubble boy
Starting point is 00:14:12 with ebola and not to mess with him that's hilarious content and and he was loved and i think that that love really like lifts him emotionally but then he'll do other things like date the girl that his fans don't like or you know just tell something tell his fans something that's not true and they get really upset and that really hurts him and lately it's been a lot more hurting him but what else is he gonna do make pizza again well i think um there there are really unhealthy ways to involve your audience your viewers fans whatever you want to call them and then i think that there are really unhealthy ways to involve your audience, your viewers, fans, whatever you want to call them.
Starting point is 00:14:47 And then I think that there are really unhealthy ways. Some people are very, very transparent with their audience, but they also manage to find a rhythm over the years. I think about Tom Syndicate and people like Minilad and that kind of crap of YouTuber, they're very invested in their communities, but they don't... From the outside looking in, I don't know.
Starting point is 00:15:13 I mean, who knows what's actually going on? And I'm not implying that I think that they're secretly unhealthy or anything like that, but I think some people find a good rhythm where they balance their sort of work goals with audience participation or how to involve them and then some people uh and i and i had you know i had to learn sort of like how to do this from for me in a way that works in a healthy way you know so like i'm not nearly
Starting point is 00:15:37 as transparent as i was before but i'm still pretty transparent um so i think it's important that that that that youtubers like youtuber or streamer or any kind of you know influencer i don't really love that word but it's the word um like they need to take into account like their their own personal mental health and well-being and stuff like that and it's really hard to do that in the beginning when you're sort of like blowing up because yeah you gotta put things in perspective i i think they really need to put things in perspective and realize who are who who is saying the things that might upset them and why those people might be saying those things and and put that in perspective and then it's not so bad i i don't get it like i don't get upset
Starting point is 00:16:16 that's not the whole thing though right like ice is when his fans are mad at him they're also unsubbing they're also also changing his view counts. I can show you some numbers. I always thought them getting mad at him was almost like... Remember when The Real World was on? And people would be... Whatever it was. That New Jersey
Starting point is 00:16:38 show. Jersey Shore. Where it's like Oh, these people fucking suck. These people are the worst. Oh, are you done watching? Well, no. I want to see what they get up to and how awful they are next week. I always kind of thought it was that. They'll rip on him, but they like the rip on him relationship. Maybe I'm off because I only watch the clips you guys bring up.
Starting point is 00:16:57 That's been my experience with watching the show. We watch a couple times a week. It's a love-hate relationship, but they keep watching. Where are they watching him on like what platform is it his own oh I don't know I guess you said you watch him a couple times a week yeah they send me links and we watch him live
Starting point is 00:17:13 yeah he streamed on YouTube for ages he got banned from Twitch that's what it was right no certainly not on Twitch but I really enjoyed like the streamer house and everything when he had Blade on there and all those kooky characters and you know Blade was pooping himself
Starting point is 00:17:29 and getting real belligerent and stuff and that was interesting every time he comes to St. Louis I get so many tweets that are like tweet Ice and go hang out with him and I'm always like no that's not a line of fire I want to walk into these guys seem pretty fucking you know content a line of fire I want to walk into.
Starting point is 00:17:48 These guys seem pretty fucking content-driven, and I wouldn't want to risk being a shitty Andy. I looked at his YouTube platform, and his subs and views are going down. And I'm not knocking him for it. I mean, who am I to knock someone for that, right? But what I'm saying is when you're like, hey, put it in perspective. It's just a 12-year-old being an asshole. Like, ah, I guess, but these are your customers too. And it's hard to just not care what your customers think. When the world is moving on to the next guy, when people are upset with you in that kind of way,
Starting point is 00:18:18 then it's not just people being an asshole to you in the personal relationship, although that might be part of it. It's also like my identity like ice's greatest success came out of this sort of social media like i don't know entrepreneurship and when that gets taken away from you it's like oh that was the greatest thing about me and now all they do is hop on and call me an asshole and leave and it hurts i think with him it's pretty cyclical though right you know it's like like he's been up and then down and then up and then down and then it seems i'm not calling him dead yeah i think right now the reason he's probably a little bit diminished is he's probably not making any content because he's
Starting point is 00:19:00 trying to get his legal shit sorted out but again it's important that you can't understand enough just how important the algorithm is on the back end of youtube because uh you could be doing the same sort of thing you could be connecting with the audience in the same sort of way that made you successful before but if they decide that they don't want to feature your content as heavily as they did in months and years previously, then they just tweak the algorithm and then that's kind of it. And you're totally at the whim of that. And like, but then there's also like, you can't just, you can't, the flip side of that is you can't just blame the algorithm if you're, if you're, if your channel isn't headed in the direction that you,
Starting point is 00:19:38 you want it to be. But, but it really does play a very, very significant role. And there's a lot, there are a lot of content creators on YouTube right now that are seeing their views diminished substantially. Like in the last two months, like really big gaming YouTubers, and you can see them tweeting about it. It's not just one person.
Starting point is 00:19:56 It's like several people that are like, I don't know what to do. I haven't really changed my formula. People still like the stuff. But this video is getting a quarter of the views that it was getting the same kind of video would have got last week. And that's just something that you don't need to worry about. Did they do that to PewDiePie?
Starting point is 00:20:13 Where like he never makes the front page anymore, even though I don't, I don't watch his videos, but I know when I do see the front page of YouTube, which the way they do it now is so shit compared to the way they used to with your subscriptions. It's trash. They're trying to get me to watch Kimmel. Just a couple clicks away. Let's say just one click, I think, on the side.
Starting point is 00:20:34 You just click on the subscription. Open the side, go to the side. That's still a gate that you're forcing people to open and that's not going to happen. There's no guarantee that if you upload a video, it'll show up in the subscriber feed. Even if they click on subscribers, they still have an algorithm that determines which videos. Is that true? I didn't know that was true.
Starting point is 00:20:50 I love that they changed. I'm fairly certain that's the case. You remember the Seinfeld episode where he's like, she's like, oh, I'm sorry. We don't have your reservation. He's like, but I made a reservation. And she's like, yes, but it's gone. I don't think you know how a reservation works.
Starting point is 00:21:05 It's like YouTube forgot what a subscription means. So everybody has to be like, hey, subscribe to me. And click this bell that means you really, really subscribe to me. Dude, they're smarter every day. I watched a video of his like a year ago. He's like, here's what I want you to do. Sounds crazy. I want you to unsubscribe, resubscribe,ubscribe and click the bell and he had all his
Starting point is 00:21:26 users do that and it was like man now i assume he knows what he's doing but now he has all these fresh subscribers go ahead and do that guys by the way maybe it works i don't know smarter every day that super friendly like southern guy who will be like hey guys today we're gonna look at exactly how a slap shot happens like it sounds like a video he'd make yeah yeah i don't i don't know about the pewdiepie thing though i mean maybe it's certainly possible like if you're this is a capitalist driven economy and and you know youtube is out to make the most money that they can possibly make and they want to attract the biggest advertisers and the biggest audience they can and um but but pewdiepie is kind of unique in that in that respect because it's like the more they try to stomp him down the stronger he becomes yeah he's like he's sort of like he's
Starting point is 00:22:15 sort of taken on this role of sort of like an avatar for everybody that wants to sort of restore the platform and sort of the internet at large to sort of like the wild west of 10, 15 years ago. And so he's like the ultimate martyr, I think to, to, to a lot of people, like everybody that tries to bring them down,
Starting point is 00:22:34 wall street journal articles and stuff like that. It really makes him 10 times stronger every time. Remember lads subscribe to foodie boy. Yeah. That got him some subs. I bet that did get him some subs. I couldn't listen to that. Is that what he sounded like?
Starting point is 00:22:50 He was a New Zealander. He probably sounded like that. Oh, the murderer guy. Yeah. That was mortifying. If I was Felix, I would have been devastated to hear something like that. He responded really well. I thought it was really good.
Starting point is 00:23:06 I was worried that he wasn't going to respond, and then he did a few hours later. I think he was asleep when it was happening. I forget where I saw it, but I saw some shitty person be like, he said to subscribe to PewDiePie. Known Nazi saluter, whatever, all the things that he got slandered with. Known white supremacist PewDiePie. Yeah, and I was like, oh, you're dragging out that old thing? saluter the whatever like all the things that like he got no white supremacist pewdiepie yeah
Starting point is 00:23:25 and i was like oh you're dragging out that old thing and yeah that's the problem with the conversation is that i think like i think even felix would probably tell you i'm just guessing i have no idea but i think even pewdiepie would even tell you that he can acknowledge the mistakes that he's made along the way and i think it's a i think it is important to hold someone like pewdiepie to a to a to a to a higher standard when it comes to these sorts of things but you can't even have that conversation because there's so many people on the extreme end of the spectrum that are literally calling him a nazi and speaking of people getting called a nazi did are you aware of the wings drama uh
Starting point is 00:23:59 that has to do with that no so so he he he added um what's it called talk to text or whatever okay yeah whatever it's called to speech yeah yeah yeah where you donate never never a good idea in 2000 not a good idea and um someone said hey wings what are your thoughts on um on um national socialism you know? What do you think? National Socialism is the Nazi Party, by the way. Okay? That's what the Nazi, that's what Nazi is an acronym for. And he's like, you know, you know, I think we should try it. I think we should give it a shot, you know? It'll never happen in this country because, you know, people aren should try it. I think we should give it a shot. It'll never happen in this country
Starting point is 00:24:46 because people aren't into it, but I think it could work. And I think he thought they meant democratic socialism, which I believe is Bernie Sanders self-definition. AOC, yeah. Yeah, but instead now they're branding him as white supremacist Nazi. And that's not true. Poor Wings. I'm giggling about it but it's not true wings in the nazi come on guys just as an aside this is an aside here the nazis were not socialists i've had many yes about this on twitter but it's right in their name hutch
Starting point is 00:25:19 so you're telling me the people's democratic republic of the congo is neither democratic nor The People's Democratic Republic of the Congo is neither democratic nor republican. Pretty mind-blowing stuff. But they wouldn't be allowed to lie. Well, fascists like to give themselves a different name to make things a little smoother. You gotta use the transition. You can't just jump in there with the fascism.
Starting point is 00:25:37 Like a hot tub. Yeah. Like a hot tub. It's like when the Catholic Church took over in Rome and then they switched from paganism, and then they used a lot of the same symbology. You've got to kind of ease into it. I mean, that's sort of like,
Starting point is 00:25:50 how many religions has Christmas been stolen from? Oh, my God. A ton. It was just the winter solstice back in the day. Yeah, Jesus was not born in December. Yeah, we have no idea. Or at all. Isn't there like a 1 in 12 chance he was born in december
Starting point is 00:26:05 am i crazy i think they're uh i think they're pretty sure about when he was born based on scripture it does check out but i think people fuck more in in the summer so it might actually be like more march or so yeah i could see springtime loving you know wait did i do march right or would it be no no i i think i think that like using the scripture they know they know roughly when j Jesus was born because of something that said... Yeah, it's like 27 years after what they allege. Somebody made a mistake
Starting point is 00:26:32 with the calendar way a long time ago, but the actual supposed date that he was born, or year that he was born, was actually, I think, like 27 or... Maybe he was born at 27 years old. Did you even think of that? Uh, well... Just destroyed Mary's pussy coming out. Why couldn't you put him in as a baby?
Starting point is 00:26:53 Well, someone fucked the ears up. There's so many pages in this book. By the way, Wings' text-to-speech thing, to me, I could be wrong. He might just not have thought of it. But I feel like he made a calculated move to sell his mental health for money he's like you know what i'm gonna take a lot of shit but five dollars at a time i think you think more of his calculations than than is there um you know he's just trying to trying to try to be a businessman trying to do his thing over there
Starting point is 00:27:21 make money and uh get views get subs and then play video games for fun you know i get the impression that he's he's and he's in like survival mode and he's been in he's been in survival mode for like a long he's okay everybody says that he he's doing okay like he makes decent money no i'm not saying that like i mean sure that may be the case but he's like very i haven't i haven't i haven't seen what he's been doing in a long time but there's like a solid like seven years where where all the content that i saw from him was expression of anxiety about yeah so he's a pretty strong rainbow player um he's what diamond he's a diamond level rainbow player on playstation and uh and he'll still hop on like rpgs and stuff and uh and do quite well at them.
Starting point is 00:28:06 They'll mock him if he plays God of War on the highest difficulty. He doesn't do well, but that shit's hard as fuck. And he'll still get on Call of Duty. He'll play COD 4 Remastered, Modern Warfare Remastered. He played a little bit of, not Blackout,
Starting point is 00:28:20 but the multiplayer of the new COD, and he doesn't like battle royale for some reason i know he's been playing battle royale lately i wasn't saying that he's like barely hanging on financially i was saying that like he his he seems very consumed with the stress of of worrying about the future oh yeah and even if he's doing like well in the moment like he's not in the career path where he's like stockpiling in a 401k and like saving a ton away for later like like it it seems like to hutch's point he's always kind of afraid of that last thing dropping like the the straw that's going to break the camel's back and when
Starting point is 00:28:56 you get booted out of this industry unless you've socked a lot away that could be fucking stressful like what are you going to do what are you going gonna go say to an employer oh what have you done for the last uh 12 years well i've made a youtube channel about gaming are you familiar with diamond level rainbow oh my god well you're hired you name your price i'm the best blackbeard in north america i think like somebody who is uh kind of savvy would be able to make a good pitch to i mean, it just depends on where you want to go. It'd be hard to parlay your YouTubing career into owning a restaurant as if that would be
Starting point is 00:29:32 relevant experience. You could try it into sales. I mean, or just like tech company or working for some website as a social media manager or something like that. There's a lot of different areas. There's room for lateral. You do worry that they'll Google you. What are they going to find if they find Wings? going to find sean ranklin's channel which i just saw has like 45 000 subscribers and 15 million views and it's just it's just all wings it's all wings
Starting point is 00:29:56 and by the way the mr mediker video he did like a year ago a million views now. Yep. And there isn't a minute of positive stuff in all that 16 million views. No. It's very, very negative. Very negative, yeah. But all true. All true. No lies in there either. But that's got to be stressful.
Starting point is 00:30:17 Like, imagine, really, like, put yourself in the shoes of people who are uploading content of your least flattering moments all day like that would make you feel shitty like even if like even if they're shitty moments that aren't even spliced together that you genuinely said you gotta try to be better you gotta try to stop making shitty moments like if he were just if he just thought about what he said before he said it then i mean i mean last week was the white last week was white nationalism. What's next week? National socialism, right? Yeah, yeah, national socialism. That is a funny question to ask.
Starting point is 00:30:52 Yes! What do you think about national socialism? Talk about a gotcha question. I know, right? Yeah. They should do that on politicians. I think that'd be fun. Come on, he doesn't have Google.
Starting point is 00:31:00 You know, he's a nationalist, and the more this Mexican woman from New York talks, the more I'm coming around to socialism, so I can see it definitely working. If I were to ask that question and I didn't know that that was Nazism, I would be like, well, hang on. I'm not very familiar with nationalism. Let me understand what that is. Let me check Wikipedia real quick. Hmm. Well, it seems quite evil um and it has a rough uh history behind it i don't think i'm for it i'm gonna stay on the fence
Starting point is 00:31:32 but i don't think i'm for it i'll tell you what if you ask 10 youtubers that question and they answered i think eight would get it wrong they mix it up with democratic socialism. If you just Google it, there's a picture of Hitler. I want to believe that's true. It doesn't even refer to national socialism. It's Nazism. Yeah, of course. But you don't have time to Google. Yeah, he does. He's got all the time in the world.
Starting point is 00:32:00 It's his clock. You know that expression? I'm on someone else's clock. No. You are the clock. You own the clock. You know that expression, I am on someone else's clock. No, you are the clock. You own the clock. You're here as long or as short as you want. You can be like, well, give me an hour to do a little research.
Starting point is 00:32:13 I'll get back to you, Slim Jim 101. How do you guys look at the political spectrum? Because that's a conversation that's been popping up these days. Because some people see it as just straight left to right. And then some people see it like a horseshoe with socialism on one end and fascism on the other end and then some people look at like a like a two-dimensional chart instead of a linear i almost feel like it doesn't make sense i feel
Starting point is 00:32:39 like there was a grab bag of topics like all right we're gonna take um capital punishment and abortion and cigarettes for some reason and church on our team and then your team is gonna get pot uh pro-life and anti-guns and pro-gay and it's like these things don't even like go wait a minute i like several of those things yeah i have the pro-ggay, the weed, the guns, and the abortion? You can have the rest. No, no, I'm sorry, Kyle. You have to choose blue or red. There's no purple here.
Starting point is 00:33:13 You should be able to be a la carte. I used to be way more team versus team, but I think all of these fuckers don't give a shit. They don't care about you. Behind closed doors, they're laughing. Maybe not laughing together in that way, but they definitely put a front of, ooh, you guys on the right.
Starting point is 00:33:33 Ooh, you guys on the left. I'm way more now just anti-establishment. Yeah, I'm with you there. Trump has fucked up so many things. He hasn't followed any of his guarantees or promises. or promises that's not true for the most part he's like he was supposed to be oh i'm anti-war anti this oh we're not we're gonna get out of these wars we're gonna get out of this or that and then he'll do his like blustering we're getting out of syria on twitter and then you'll see like three weeks nothing happens and then you'll like a little article
Starting point is 00:34:03 pop up and it's like well actually no no no we're little article will pop up, and it's like, well, actually, no. No, no, we're going to keep people in Syria. He'll tweet what he's going to do and then not do it at all. I looked into that recently, and it's better than I thought. I was with the same mindset. I'm like, dude, now he's leaving people in Syria. Let's look into this so I have it right. I think their numbers are going from like 6,000
Starting point is 00:34:25 to 600. This is a pretty significant improvement. The Russians are going to take over. There's still so many contractors over there. They'll be like, oh, there's only 40 US soldiers, but we have a bunch of Blackwater-style people still over there. I got no problem with that.
Starting point is 00:34:41 I got no problem with private individuals. If you're in the military, you're ordered to go there, right? But if you're a private contractor, you're like, hey, X amount of dollars for X amount of time in X place. You want to go? If they make that decision. But they're still working on the U.S.'s behalf, so it's not really likely. With the U.S., it's a
Starting point is 00:34:58 budget thing somewhat for me. Oh, I don't care about the budget. I care about the men. They're not nearly as accountable either when you hire private contractors. Are you suggesting Syrians are real people? Yeah. I like it when they're not as
Starting point is 00:35:14 accountable. They can get their hands a little dirty. We've gotten our hands dirty over there for like 20 years and we've gotten nothing of it but losing trillions of dollars, like half a million Iraqis dying, and a ton of Americans dying. What have we gained? what tangible have we gained like that's why on the left like of the democratic candidates i like uh tulsi gabard or gabard the most because she's actually actually saying we're getting out of there we're gonna do and who and she'll probably be exactly
Starting point is 00:35:41 like everyone else who they talk big about getting out of there then they get taken in the back military industrial complex room and then they come out like actually uh actually we need to be here and i bet she looks good in a swimsuit that's that's an attractive young lady which one freaking ran paul oh tolsi tolsi gabbert ran paul and alexandria ocasio-cortez both signed on to uh like a letter showing support for Donald Trump pulling out of Syria. Did you guys hear about that? Of the two politicians in D.C., freaking Rand Paul and AOC are
Starting point is 00:36:13 signing their names on the same piece of paper, which is pretty wild. It's good when they can find some common ground. There should be a whole list of things that the far left and the far right can agree on. We're destabilizing huge parts of the world. We entered into this era in the
Starting point is 00:36:36 20th century in the fallout of World War II where all of a sudden to not go in and intervene in certain regions of the world would lead to even more lives lost and maybe even more American lives lost if that war were to ever somehow spill over into the Western Hemisphere. I feel like a good preemptive occupation. I mean, I was totally opposed to the Iraq War, but I'm saying like what's done is done. That region is now very much destabilized. If the United States were to pull out
Starting point is 00:37:08 all of their troops from all of these different regions... There'd be an oil shortage in solar and wind and nuclear. It wouldn't even be an oil shortage. We get most of it from Canada. We got a lot of it in the 90s from the Middle East, I think. I'm pretty sure the top oil producer
Starting point is 00:37:23 in the world is us. That's true too, but it wasn't true in the 90s. But Middle East, I think. I'm pretty sure the top oil producer in the world is us. That's true, too, but it wasn't true in the 90s. But it's a global economy, so... It's fungible. Yeah, I follow what you're saying, but I'm just saying in the 90s, if Iraq and... If these places didn't make oil, then it would be the 70s again. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:37:40 Yeah, it'd be those crazy long gas lines and all kinds of issues, but that's probably not... It is insane that, like, everybody on the left, as far as politicians, and all the right-wing politicians and all the left-wing ones, that's the thing they come together for, it seems like, every fucking time. They'll be like, oh, no more abortion. No, we need abortion, we need abortion. Oh, well, I want more war.
Starting point is 00:38:01 And they're like, no, well, yeah, more war. More war. It's just enough is enough. What have we gained? We haven't done anything but destabilize regions. Let me ask you this, Taylor, because here's my thought process. I'd kind of like it if we'd capture some of these territories and make them our own. You know? Like, I remember I was watching Forrest Gump the other day.
Starting point is 00:38:22 Hey, calm down. Calm down. You know, I was watching Forrest. I'm other day. Hey, calm down. Calm down. I was watching Forrest. I'm not fucking serious, you bitch. No shit. I was watching Forrest Gump the other day, and Bubba was like, yeah, we're going to take over all this.
Starting point is 00:38:35 These are going to be real good shrimp and waddas. We're going to shrimp it all out. And I was like, yeah, I bet some of those guys over there in Nam thought that that was the inevitable conclusion of the Vietnam Conflict. That they were going to become shrimp boat captains? Well, some of them will be shrimp boat captains. You got the teriyaki shrimp.
Starting point is 00:38:54 You got the tempura shrimp. You got the lemon Asian ginger shrimp. That's about all the kind of shrimp. But what if we had just captured a big chunk of Iraq and just made it state number 52, right? Like Middle East Puerto Rico. 52? Which is the other state that you made 51? D.C. and Puerto Rico?
Starting point is 00:39:18 Well, that's terrible. I figured it would be one of those. No, no, no. We should have added... Guam, that's another... Afghanistan. A big chunk of Afghanistan should have been state number 51. We're just glossing over that for now.
Starting point is 00:39:28 So even though the Democrats in Congress signed off on that war, unfortunately, in – was that 2003 when that war started? Yeah. I don't think you can give Democrats the equal amount of responsibility for that because it was the Bush administration that pushed the intelligence agencies to give them data that they could then cherry pick from to justify going to war. And they sufficiently scared the shit out of enough Democrats in Congress who maybe were afraid of not getting reelected in a time where it felt like the country wanted people that were too young to remember that time. Let me jump in. Like for people that were too young to remember that time, they mentioned nine 11 and Iraq in the same breath for years. And a Condi rice, you know,
Starting point is 00:40:18 it came on and said, we don't need the proof of weapons of mass destruction to be a mushroom cloud over New York City or something very close to that. They made it seem... They did a poll. Something like 80% of Fox News viewers believed that Iraq was behind 9-11 because they
Starting point is 00:40:35 just put them together. It was 75% of the whole country. It lasted longer in there. They just rah-rah-rahed that shit for ages. And looking back, I see it as kind of – criminal is the word that's in my head. I guess not literally criminal, but it's a metaphor.
Starting point is 00:40:56 I mean, literally criminal. And so many of these people that did that and at the time were like the neoconservatives and the neoliberals who pushed it at the time mostly neocons who like bill crystal who would be like oh we gotta go we gotta go these same fucking people still have jobs in 2019 and are the same people saying well we have to go to syria well we have to do this in the middle east well we need to invade iran and it's like how how is anybody taking these same people seriously john bolton should be on that list of yours yeah john bolton you lied through your teeth about iraq caused an enormous amount of problems and now we're supposed to take you seriously again i i just am so anti-intervention at this point like just get us out stop
Starting point is 00:41:41 stop with foreign aid we got enough people who need shit here. Stop with all of our interventions. Like the foreign aid, when he cut off the foreign aid last week, was it? To the three Mexican countries? That's hilarious. Well, you've got North Mexico. Then you have Honduras, Mexico, and Guatemala, Mexico. Guatemala, Honduras, and Nicaragua, I think.
Starting point is 00:42:02 That's a good guess. Maybe El Salvador. mile honduras and nicaragua i think that was a good guess maybe el salvador but trump's own um his own officials working at either state or i can't remember which agency collects the data on this stuff but they were i think it's state but they were touting the success of the foreign aid program in helping to uh uh curb the tide of uh these mass migrant movements that are coming up to the border. If you just strip away all this aid that we've been giving these countries, which is literally like buckets, like drops in the bucket of our budget, it's like nothing. It sounds like a lot of money, but it's really not. If you take away that aid, you're just going to make the situations that are the circumstances that
Starting point is 00:42:46 cause people to resort to marching for 2000 miles to our border with Mexico in an attempt to apply for asylum, asylum, asylum. You just make those situations, you just make those circumstances worse and you're going to have more people coming over. The president of the United States said that those countries were organizing the caravans
Starting point is 00:43:06 and sending them to us, and that's why he cut the aid. Are you calling Donald J. Trump a liar? Mexico did provide transit to people who showed up at their southern... Yeah, and there were third-party groups that were funding those things and providing the transport
Starting point is 00:43:21 and organizing them and stuff, because you don't roots that sort of thing out of nowhere Mexico deals with way way worse consequences of these caravans than the United States does because they have much stricter laws about it why do they have worse I don't understand that because it seems to be like they just pass through Mexico
Starting point is 00:43:37 what makes you say that shit everywhere Woody many of them stay do they leave their empty Cheetos bags Right in Mexico as they head through Look at this litter We need a Reddit movement Where people pick up and show the trash bags
Starting point is 00:43:52 It's a really terrible Terrible terrible situation that's going on In these countries and you know These caravans have been happening for fucking 14 years and a fraction of These people are allowed to Enter the country when they're fleeing situations that any one of us in this call would probably want to flee as well
Starting point is 00:44:12 and so i think like that gets a lot the thing that gets lost in the conversation a lot of the times is the humanity behind these people so and the way that they the way that they convince you to turn on these or to have these sort of opinions about these people is you label them all as criminals and fucking vermin. And some are, they're just, if I was in that situation, I'm so bad-ass I'd be king of the landfill.
Starting point is 00:44:35 I'd plant the Woodworth flag right on top of there, declare all this shit is mine. And I think the way asylum works is they're supposed to be looking for, they're trying to be, they're trying to escape something, right? But they're going through three countries on the way to the U.S. being like, it's like Goldilocks in the porridge, right? They're like, it's a little too warm. Ah, this is a little too cool.
Starting point is 00:45:04 Oh, Texas ahead? That's just right. Well, part of the reason why they march isn't because they think they're going to get into the country. It's actually like a part of a – it's to send a political message to the world because the United States played a – They have a lot of time and money on their hands if they can uproot their lives and drag their family 2,000 miles to make a political statement. I don't think it's... It's actually a really low-budget thing to do. It's very logical to say that these people have a lot of money to spend on this.
Starting point is 00:45:30 Exactly! They don't. I don't think they're making a political statement. I think they're literally trying to find somewhere to go. They're trying to get into the U.S. Many of them are, but one of the larger purposes of these caravans is almost a form of protest.
Starting point is 00:45:45 The people that organize these things and have been, again, for the last 14 years, larger purposes of these caravans is almost a form of protest. And they'll even, the people that organize these things, and have been again for like the last 14 years, they'll say the same thing. They'll say part of the reason why they're doing this is because the United States played such an integral role in destabilizing these countries like Guatemala and El Salvador,
Starting point is 00:46:01 especially during like the 80s under Reagan. And so this is what you would call blowback from our previous mistakes. Yeah, the groups certainly have that motivation, but if you think about it, they're absolutely using these individuals, these poor families
Starting point is 00:46:15 and such, to make their political statement by sending them 2,000 miles across a really rough area. Who's they? The globalists. Kyle said they are making a political statement by sending those third-party groups that organize these caravans.
Starting point is 00:46:32 They're basically activists in their home countries that get these caravans going. Part of the reason why they do it is to raise awareness of the circumstances that these people face and the United States' role in that. I don't think anybody can make the argument that the U face and the United States role in that. So, yeah. Well, I don't think anybody can make the argument that the U.S. hasn't gone around.
Starting point is 00:46:49 I mean, I think it's interesting that you said, like, we're destabilizing the Middle East over there with our troops and that that actually is kind of helping stem the tide of migrants. But that same behavior in South America is causing, like, the tide. Well, there's way more migrants coming in from South America. Well, definitely, because there's a physical area there. But even so... Well, I didn't say to stop the tide of migrants from the Middle East. I don't think I said that, did I?
Starting point is 00:47:16 Maybe I misheard. I thought you were saying that it would help, that us having troops there still is more helpful than it is harmful in some ways. But what we did in South America was criminal in the 80s. Destabilized, democratically elected governments, assassinations, all sorts of coups, all sorts of black ops. They're trying to get us to do it in Venezuela right fucking now. Yeah. It's insane.
Starting point is 00:47:40 But that's all part of the whole – they're trying to make socialism the boogeyman, and so they turn Maduro into their big boogeyman villain. And by all accounts, he's not a great guy, not a good leader, and it's doing a lot of real harm to the country. But I think a lot of the rhetoric, the escalated rhetoric around maybe even proposing military intervention comes from the fact that they just want to they want to position themselves and i mean like the republican party right now is sort of like it's like they're the antithesis to the boogeyman of socialism and so they just use him i i think that we killed hugo chavez the uh the former president of venezuela i think we took him out he got cancer and died in like three months or something like that how does it how does it happen to a head of state? Let's see. What kind of cancer did he have? I don't recall exactly.
Starting point is 00:48:29 If it was like pancreatic, that's totally... We were just talking about how some cancers were fast. Yeah, yeah. But if he's... They kill quickly, but they have to form out of something. This is a head of state. If Donald Trump were getting cancer, we know it at like stage 0.5 because he's getting those those physicals frequently
Starting point is 00:48:50 and he's in someone's looking after our president i'm sure they did the same thing in venezuela but they won't be like trump's not getting cancer kyle they're not gonna lie and be like no mr trump you don't have cancer you're strong as a bull like they're gonna be like totally what you tested positive for everything that's what his last doctor said you know it's one of the craziest things about the migrant caravan situation is that if we would have let every single person from every single one of these caravans over the last couple decades into the country they would still only represent like 0.0001 percent of the population and it's still being branded as an invasion i'd have to press one to speak in nicaraguan and i won't stand for that
Starting point is 00:49:37 nope nope no thank you no thank you i'm in a hurry when i call the bank god damn it i don't need those extra options yeah they don't don't even – they never even said what kind of cancer he had. Yo, Kiro Taco Bell, get that little dog out of here too. But why do Americans get pissed off at the idea of speaking a different language? Like why would you discourage someone from – Don't you make me learn things, Hutch? Because traditionally America has been a melting pot where you come here and you assimilate to our thing. You came as an Italian, but now you're an American.
Starting point is 00:50:07 You came as an Irishman, but now you're an American. And assimilate. Assimilation is a big part of American culture. Other countries say that America doesn't have a culture, but we absolutely do. But one of the things is – There's a lot of different cultures, though. I mean, it's like – Absolutely.
Starting point is 00:50:24 I agree with Kyle so much. I'm goofing a lot in the show, but the idea that we're a melting pot rather than a salad bowl, I think is important and it's good. And that's not to say that you need to lose your culture. It's just to say that you need to blend it in.
Starting point is 00:50:38 I'm more than happy to... Bring your food. Your food is always good. Bring your culture. Some morality. I don't know whatever it is you bring. Bring your religions'm open to all these ideas but melt it in you know when you stay and become your salad bowl and every part is different that's what tears countries apart when countries are fundamentally different left and right when countries are fundamentally
Starting point is 00:50:59 different english and spanish when companies are fundamentally different, I don't know, Catholic and Muslim, then over time, they get angrier and angrier and they become more divided and they're not the same people and they're not the same culture. Look at Brazil. Okay, so I really, really feel strongly about this idea that we're a melting pot. And this might sound overbearing,
Starting point is 00:51:20 but it wouldn't be crazy to me to be like, you know what? Like, we don't want a Chinatown here. So if you want to come in from China, these are the 700 places you can choose from because they have a light Chinese representation today. You can't move straight to a place with a dense Chinese representation. That sounds overbearing, but it prevents salad bowls. I'm trying to think of what they call it in Minnesota. They have that...
Starting point is 00:51:45 Dearborn? Deer Park? They call it Little Somalia. Oh, yeah, because they just... Little Mogadishu. Little Mogadishu, because there's so many Somalians there. And my friend who lives up there,
Starting point is 00:51:56 he's like, oh, we're terrified. Yeah, but these people... The crime there is insane. They're more likely to have a master's degree. They're more likely to be small business owners. So it's not like these people are coming in. Thank you, Mr. Trump. Yeah, little Bill Kadishu is in Minneapolis.
Starting point is 00:52:13 I'm just Googling. It's new to me. Yeah, there's little pockets of the Midwest. And he's right. It's a Somali. There's a heavy population of Somali immigrants. But these people are not coming in and ruining the culture. They're coming in and contributing to the economy and getting good
Starting point is 00:52:25 educations and literally creating jobs. Wasn't Osama bin Laden educated over here? He was like a CIA guy. The CIA had him doing shit. I don't know about all that. I think we should switch gears.
Starting point is 00:52:41 It's like a known thing. I know that he was part of the Mujahideen or whatever and that we were giving them rockets to take down Russian. I don't think we educated him here on the States. Soviet choppers and stuff like that. I know he's been over here. But yeah, maybe we should switch gears from the heavily biased political talk
Starting point is 00:53:02 to maybe something more silly. I know Taylor has an interesting thing up here. Yeah, I've got it right in front of me. Oh yeah, this article, I call this, this is a new segment we're doing, the coolest guy of the week. Jesus, I know what's next. This guy is the coolest guy
Starting point is 00:53:18 of the week because he had the balls and the bravery to do what all of us want to do when someone puts cans of food over our chips at the grocery store. He strangled the man for it. And you know what? He's paying for that food.
Starting point is 00:53:34 Did he kill this guy or did he just hurt him? I haven't clicked the article yet. I've only read the title. The man was charged with simple assault. Let me read it. A Pennsylvania man lost his cool over how a store clerk was bagging his groceries, choking the cashier for putting potato chips and canned goods in the same bag. According to Fairview Township Police, Bradley Bauer was shopping with his wife at Giant Food Store on February 2nd when the alleged attacker, I'm sorry, when he allegedly attacked the cashier for the way the clerk was handling his groceries. He explained to the officer
Starting point is 00:54:08 that the clerk, he asked the clerk not to throw his groceries around. The man said he had several bags of chips and did not want to get them all smashed up. Several? Look at the guy. Of course he's got several bags. He looks like a guy who can put away a couple chips. Yeah, yeah. Let's see.
Starting point is 00:54:23 Yeah, that guy's cool as shit. The victim said, do you have a problem with me? Oh, wait, I'm sorry. The victim told police he had paid for his groceries, and while he was walking away, he turned and asked him, do you have a problem with me? Because I have a problem with you. The victim told officers he thought Bauer was kidding and replied to the man, do you?
Starting point is 00:54:40 Like, he didn't think that I have a problem with you was serious. That's when the police said Bauer attacked the cashier, grabbing him around the neck, shoving the clerk against the cash register while calling the victim an idiot. You might be onto something there. And the clerk was able to push Bauer away while the manager called the police.
Starting point is 00:54:58 The only way this could turn me off this guy is if it turned out that this was one of the many Down Syndrome baggers who are at those places, because that would be inappropriate. But if this is the sound of my individual... There's just one more sentence I want to get in. He was already having a bad day and the chip sent him over the edge. Who can't relate to that? I'm on his side.
Starting point is 00:55:17 I can relate. I relate 100%. You crush my nacho cheese Doritos with a couple of cans of Campbell's soup, and we're going to throw down. I'm going to have to strangle you a little bit. Now, if the bag boy was handicapped in some way, I might be able to deal with him directly. Like, hey, hey, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Starting point is 00:55:37 Let's put the cans in that bag. Put my bread and chips in this other bag, the soft bag. Let's keep them separate. I had a bad girl today at the grocery store. I'm just getting a few items in. Toilet paper, some fabric softener, that sort of thing. She had a whole gimpy arm. Her right arm was all gimped up.
Starting point is 00:55:54 It was all shriveled. Why is she a bagger? The one job that she shouldn't have. That and Major League Pitcher, I suppose. But that wasn't in the car. Was she like lifting up like one paper bag? Jesus. Punch doesn't think this is funny at all.
Starting point is 00:56:15 I was like, get your crippled ass away from my fucking groceries. I got places to be, little girl. She was like 17. She told me to have a nice day. And I told her, you have a nice day too. She's lucky she didn't get choked out. The nicest people at those grocery stores are the handicapped ones. I was walking out with some Polar, which is like the poor man's LaCroix, the other day, with the full 12-pack of it.
Starting point is 00:56:40 And as I was getting outside, it wasn't in a bag, obviously. The whole thing just tore open because it was wet, and they were all over the sidewalk and rolling into the road, and I was starting to collect them, and then I noticed another set of hands bending down, helping me. Who was it but the mentally handicapped man who had previously bagged my groceries? He saw me in need, and his kindness compelled him to help.
Starting point is 00:57:00 Now, that's a man I would only rarely strike. Wait, but he was the one that bagged your groceries? Yeah. He bagged your groceries yeah he bagged them and then he must have seen he incompetently bagged them because they all fell out of the bottom of the bag no no no it was like you know the 12 packs of soda was the bag wet because he was drooling it wasn't the bag that was wet it was the actual cardboard container there was no fault to the hand man. Yeah. That's good. I wanted to balance it out.
Starting point is 00:57:30 Why are you buying Polar when you could just get a freaking SodaStream, man? Those things will change your life. I do have a SodaStream, but I was out of air, and the only place I know to get it is Macy's. What the hell is a SodaStream? It's an at-home soda-making machine. It's got these big... Hutch, take it away. Yeah, they're great.
Starting point is 00:57:44 No, it's just super easy. You got to get these CO2 canisters, right? And then you just screw them in. You don't need... It's really not hard to set it up. And then you just... And it makes you a carbonated beverage. So it gives you the water that's the bad kind.
Starting point is 00:57:59 When you taste it, you're like, oh my God, this wasn't water. It gives you the whole soda. Just like the Keurig, you get all these pods of flavors and you can have any soda you want. And they're real careful about how they rip off those major soda corporations.
Starting point is 00:58:12 Dr. Pecker. Dr. Pecker. Oh, that's a cool-ass porn name. I just like standard-issue carbonated water. Have some Coke. It helps me burp, you get all that gas out and stuff. No, I'm on the same page. I don't like their Shasta Cola or whatever the fuck they have.
Starting point is 00:58:32 I don't like their diet Alpine Dew or any of that. Just the sparkling water. It tastes like a recently re-carbonated flat soda. Like soda that had already gone flat. That's what those flavors taste like to me. I don't fuck with them. I want to figure out, what do you put in there to make it taste like LaCroix? I mean, nothing.
Starting point is 00:58:50 Do they do flavoring to their drinks? I thought it was just straight carbon. Put some fruit juice in there, man. I was laughing at a tweet I saw about LaCroix where a guy's like, LaCroix is like drinking water and having somebody yell out the name of a fruit in the other room.
Starting point is 00:59:02 like drinking water and having somebody yell out the name of a fruit in the other room. There's really not much flavor. They're only like 50 bucks too, the SodaStream. You can buy the CO2 canisters on Amazon. You don't need to go to Pepsi or whatever. Soda's pretty fucking cheap.
Starting point is 00:59:21 I'll just keep buying soda because I'm a big fan of Diet Pepsi. It tastes like Diet Pepsi. I was just going buying soda because I'm a big fan of Diet Pepsi, and it tastes like Diet Pepsi. I was just going to say it's too many calories, but Diet Pepsi probably isn't calories. No calories at all. But Trump says, never saw a thin person drink Diet Coke, I think. He's right because he drinks Diet Coke.
Starting point is 00:59:37 That was a funny joke. That was a funny joke. And when he made that, he was a slimmer man. Look, everybody, the tolls of of the of the presidential office you know they they weigh on different men i don't see a gray hair on his head there you go that's holding up nicely look at obama maybe he stayed slim and fit okay good job but he went all gray like a bitch you know it was cool so obama played basketball had come into the office like he was legit a basketball player i saw him play i did and uh what happened was like
Starting point is 01:00:12 the level of competition he played was just started dunking on him maybe not like it's a term people use they're just everyone's stomping on him and uh he just retired from basketball because he's like you know i what? I'm not good anymore. I don't want to play. He started inviting collegiate athletes and J-stars to come and play with him. You would think that his wife, Charles Barkley,
Starting point is 01:00:33 could have given him some pointers. I don't like it. I'm defensive about Michelle. I like her. Why? I like her too. She's a great person. Michelle is a great person.
Starting point is 01:00:41 Another game of one-on-one. Look, look. There's all kinds of people that i love and adore in the and you know the public everyone does here like ugly and like because she is ugly and managed like like chris farley i loved chris farley but he was a fat fuck okay that's part of his charm nobody ever goes hey don't call chris fat it hurts i'll say this i i what the hell george bush senior his wife was one of the least attractive they made fun of how old she was forever it was
Starting point is 01:01:14 a running s and l bit go like no you think i've seen the jokes forever like like like like i i grew up they were yeah but they were way more brutal with Michelle Obama Than they were with Barbara Bush Well as time goes on I was actually really young when Bush Sr. was in office Maybe I don't really remember The extent of those jokes Laura Bush no one gave her a hard time
Starting point is 01:01:36 She's fine looking She's not beautiful but she looks like a soccer mom I just felt like she was always to the side She's fade into the background looking Sure That's what we want from our first ladies She looks like a soccer mom. I just felt like she was always to the side. She's faded to the background looking. Sure. That's what we want from our first ladies. I don't need you out there front and center doing things.
Starting point is 01:01:52 We voted for that guy, not you. The only exception is Hillary. Obama would have been way cooler if he delivered a State of the Union address while smoking one of his menthols. That would have been real cool. He smoked Marlboro Reds, I thought. Oh, I don't know. Yeah, I'm pretty sure I've seen him with Marlboro Reds. Did you just assume he smoked menthols because he was
Starting point is 01:02:08 Black Taylor? Of course I did. Jesus. That's worse. That's worse than assuming that his wife has a penis. Have you seen that Ellen clip that people are like, look, she's dancing and there's a little fluff in her dress. It's a penis. It's like, well,
Starting point is 01:02:23 she wears a dress in other instances pretty often and and i haven't seen well sometimes the tuck job works sometimes it doesn't i'm not saying michelle obama has a penis i just think it's real funny to joke that she does and nobody should be off limits with some silly humor like that you know like don't how dare you say that about michelle? She doesn't have a penis. What's wrong if she does have a penis? That's okay. If Barack Obama married a trans person and they've been hiding it all these years, I'm okay with that. It's not that big of a scandal if you ask me if they somehow adopted those two pretty daughters that he has who look nothing
Starting point is 01:03:00 like her. That would be a huge scandal. And it's not a nice thing to say. She doesn't want people to say that about her. Nobody wants people to say things like that. Well, just 10 seconds ago, you pretended that it wasn't actually an insult. What would be wrong? She's not going to like it. I don't expect her to like it.
Starting point is 01:03:17 I just don't think it's a hanging offense for us to say it. There was a degree of real visceral hatred and vitriol directed at michelle obama that was very unique to her way i never saw pundits and and social media wasn't around back then so who knows what would happen if it was but uh like i didn't see people go after laura trump the way that they went after michelle obama or melania trump or laura bush i i get what you're saying or even hillary cl Clinton like the first time around. No, the first time around they were brutal. They were brutal
Starting point is 01:03:50 because they looked at her like an enabler. No, so Hillary was supposed to be co-president. Hold on. Hillary was supposed to be co-president. When they ran, this is in like 91, 92 when they first joined, they said, you get two presidents for the price of one. And then she took on healthcare and she just
Starting point is 01:04:05 didn't have the knack for making friends that bill did and you know they they hated her newt gingrich's mom or wife or whatever no grandmother i don't even know called her a bitch and then snl ran with that all the time like this senile woman called hillary a bitch they um they went bonkers on hillary but I don't mind that because she's part of the game. She was a player. She wasn't off to the side like Melania, like Michelle,
Starting point is 01:04:31 like Laura, like Barbara, Nancy, Reagan even. Michelle Obama was not off to the side. Yes, she was. She was front and center doing all kinds of public works. No, no. When her public works is school lunches she's off to
Starting point is 01:04:46 the side um you know working on the fat kids we don't need that we like our kids fat it was the parallel to anti-bullying that uh melania trump is doing like it's just an off to the side she's not trying to be co-president hillary did health care she tried to socialize healthcare. That was not some little off to the side thing. She wanted universal government healthcare coverage. Michelle Obama was on every talk show. She was always doing all kinds of public
Starting point is 01:05:16 stuff. She was a front and center first lady. Not when Obama was telling off. It was about lunch. Making them fat kids skinny again, which is bullshit. You ever see the school lunches were bad when I was a kid. They're so bad now.
Starting point is 01:05:31 For Christ's sakes, get the potato chips and give them kale chips. Kale chips are good. You can make delicious kale chips. If you put enough bad shit on kale, it becomes good again. A little salt, a little pepper, a little barbecue sprinkles, whatever that is. Some vinegar maybe. I don't know.
Starting point is 01:05:49 Before long, that kale will be good. I made cream spinach the other day. It starts with bacon and onions, milk, a whole thing of whipping cream, and then at the end, you add spinach to it and stir it all together. It's amazing!
Starting point is 01:06:03 Because it doesn't taste like spinach at all. It tastes like creamy bacon onion juice with a nice texture. Just put bacon, cream, whatever, and yell spinach at it. And Parmesan cheese. Anything on spinach. As far as vegetables go, I think spinach is one of the tastiest ones. Spinach is amazing. You start off with a gallon
Starting point is 01:06:20 of it, you end up with a tablespoon. It's so good when you mix it up with some feta cheese, some lemon juice, you can get a gallon of it and you can end up with a tablespoon. Yeah. It's so good when you mix it up with some feta cheese, some lemon juice. You can get some onions, throw them in there too. Man, spinach is delicious. You're a big time cook. I see you post stuff on Twitter of all your recipes. I really like cooking now.
Starting point is 01:06:39 I didn't learn to cook until I was like 30. And now I haven't posted any of the pictures of stuff in a while. But I just do the Blue Apron service. And so that's how I learned to cook. until i was like 30 and now i haven't posted any of the like pictures of stuff in a while but i i just do like the blue apron service and so that's how i learned to cook and now we'll just look up our own recipes and and and make food that way but it kicked off the cooking habit with you blue apron yeah but now i feel way better like i'm eating so much better than i was there was like a solid five-year stretch in my 20s where I just didn't drink water. I don't think it was just soda and coffee and Rockstar, like a lot of Rockstar. And I would have like SpaghettiOs and canned chili and like just the, you know, I don't know
Starting point is 01:07:16 how I survived off that for so long. I could count the bottles. I'm still in the no water situation. Never have, never will. I could count the bottles of water I've had on one hand. Do not drink water almost ever. I've had three bottles of water situation. Never have, never will. I can count the bottles of water I've had on one hand. Do not drink water almost ever. I've had three bottles of water today. I've had three in my life. No water for me. Is that an exaggeration or are you being serious?
Starting point is 01:07:35 That's about right. I try to drink a gallon a day. I drink about a gallon a day of Diet Pepsi. Does hot tea count as water? I've been fucking with a bunch of hot tea at night. No, I think it's got to be water. I drink a lot of tea, you know, if you can count tea. Like, I drink unsweetened.
Starting point is 01:07:52 Sweet tea doesn't count. I drink unsweetened tea, you know. I put a little sweetener in there. A little lemon, ginger, and honey. A little lemon, ginger tea with some honey in it. That's good. I'm not sick. Do you guys know why tea helps with digestion?
Starting point is 01:08:08 I don't understand that. I've been digesting food way better since I've worked tea into the rotation. I asked people on Twitter. Nobody seemed to know. It's just like some people theorize it's just all that hot water kind of like mixing everything up and making sure everything is… Maybe the antioxidants. I don't know. I don't even know what an antioxidant is.
Starting point is 01:08:28 I've been drinking vanilla chamomile every night for like a week or two now. I really like that. Does that have caffeine? No, chamomile is like a relaxation kind of tea, like before bed. I don't think there's any caffeinated chamomile.
Starting point is 01:08:43 I like to cook too. What I do is I go on YouTube or I go on Reddit and I find a really nice recipe that I think is cool. I like Chef John over on foodwishes.com. He's got a cool YouTube channel. Or I like Sam the Cooking Guy, who's this guy on San Diego
Starting point is 01:08:59 who cooks on his outdoor. He's got a really fancy setup. He owns a restaurant. And I really like his recipes and I'll just duplicate those recipes that I find on recipe gifts on Reddit or on YouTube and I do that at least once a week. I got a sous vide machine
Starting point is 01:09:14 so I sous vide a lot of steaks. It's fun. It's meditative. You forget about everything else when you're just focused on this one little thing. And I like the whole process too. I like the prepping the ingredients. I like the smells and the
Starting point is 01:09:30 aromas that come up and the anticipation. When I finally am done, it's hard for me to eat the meal sometimes because I'm so happy with what I did. I got to take a picture. I feel like an Instagram whore because I got to be like, I got to take a bunch of pictures of the shit I just made before I eat it.
Starting point is 01:09:45 I just feel like a fraud because it's Blue Apron. So it's like they send you all the ingredients perfectly portioned out and then they send you the recipes. You can do it yourself. You know, you just measure. Is Blue Apron still in business? Yeah.
Starting point is 01:09:57 Oh, I haven't mixed up with someone. I'm pretty sure they're fucking crushing it. Yeah, they're doing great. Are you sponsored by them, Hutch? They used to sponsor a lot of social media. They sponsored no i did some i did some um videos promoting them but it's not like an ongoing sponsorship or anything like that but i think
Starting point is 01:10:14 they had a bunch of problems in the beginning because they were so successful so quickly that they were having a lot of problems sort of similar to Amazon with their factories and people not getting breaks and, and, and it was just like, like workers, right. Stuff. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:10:29 I think like they had like a lot of problems with some of their facilities and some of the workers being like really caravan people up here. They won't complain so much. Yeah. Yeah. I love cooking though. I, I,
Starting point is 01:10:39 I've got to, I made Nashville hot chicken a couple of days ago. That was a fried chicken. Yeah. You fry chicken. And, and you know, the, Is that fried chicken? Yeah, you fry chicken. And the breading is really spicy. The dredge is really spicy. And then you make this like a cup of lard
Starting point is 01:10:56 that you mix like half a cup of cayenne pepper and paprika and a few other ingredients in and then stir up. And then you paint that onto the chicken when you're done and eat it with like dill pickles and bread it's fucking amazing so good sounds good really check out you can check out chef's table on netflix it's a really interesting documentary series where they just follow around local chefs and there was this one guy who was like a super workaholic but he was um raised in the like deep south i think it was like alabama or mississippi or something like that and it's all about how he brought southern cuisine back with like a sort
Starting point is 01:11:30 of like a more modern spin but the way that they shoot it um and the and the and the the subjects that they focus on and the and the recipes and the food itself the way that they present everything it's a really good show if you like cooking shows it's great yeah i'll check that out i watch everything gordon ramsey does as well. He's awesome. I really like the Junior MasterChef with his little kids fucking throwing together filet and crab and all this really high-end stuff.
Starting point is 01:11:54 That's always fun. Are they still making the regular MasterChef? Is that show still around? I don't know. I never watched it as much. That show is so good. I like the little kids. I like the little kids because they cry. I watched that one. Like sometimes the kids can't shuck a scallopop they can't get the shell open and the little kid is literally over there because he's like eight and he's over there crying and gordon has to run over there and he's nice to the kids he's not mean he's like oh what's going on there little tommy
Starting point is 01:12:17 oh here here you go and he'll shuck like five of the eight of the of the of the of the um whatever for him muscles muscles or whatever. Like, like you can finish up scallops. You can finish up there. You can do it. Right. Right.
Starting point is 01:12:30 Tell me you can do it. He's like wiping the tears away. Yeah, I can do it. And you can just have a kid. I think, I think you just had a kid like literally today. Did Oscar is the,
Starting point is 01:12:39 is the child's name. His wife's very pretty, especially, especially that's a chef's name. Oscar. He's going to follow in his father. I want to see the episode a chef's name oscar he's gonna follow in his father i want to see the episode where he's really mean to the kids that would be really fun he's never really mean you can't get your fucking oysters open do you realize you're on television
Starting point is 01:12:55 right now and you can't get the oysters open susan over there had no problems and you're sitting here with your bitch hands and sus Susan is a moron! But Susan is 31 and she's only allowed to be here because she's retarded. Don't give me excuses. Sure, she's got giant hands and tearing those legs of lamb off effortlessly. You're a sound of mind child. I want mentally handicapped MasterChef.
Starting point is 01:13:25 I want a whole group of retarded people. And Gordon Ramsay's trying to just keep them from hurting themselves in the kitchen. Your ingredient of the day. A fruit by the foot. Are you drooling in the dish? You're about to serve me. One of them's got the fruit by the foot all wrapped around his head like a mummy. Oh, dear.
Starting point is 01:13:55 Oh, retarded people. Dylan, are you retarded? Of course. Never mind. Let me slip in an ad here. This episode of PGA is sponsored by our friends over at Squarespace. Whether you need a domain, website, or online store, make your next move with Squarespace. With easy-to-use tools, you can create a beautiful website. With Squarespace, it's all in one platform.
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Starting point is 01:14:37 internet today. So get started and start your free trial today at squarespace.com slash pka to get 10% off your first purchase. That's squarespace.com slash pka. Begin the next move in your career today with Squarespace.com slash pka to get 10 off your first purchase that's squarespace.com slash pka begin the next move in your career today with squarespace don't don't the pod guys like the pod save guys own a piece of square i have no idea but if they do they made a damn good decision who are the pod guys pod save america john lovett and oh i've heard of pod save america i've never listened to it though oh i like it it's good cool former obama guys weekly how often do they do a show oh uh it used to be like it used to be like two or three times a week like in the immediate aftermath of the
Starting point is 01:15:25 2016 election they had a podcast before that called keeping it 1600 and then they changed it to pod save america after that but then they like really they've actually grown their business quite a bit so now they have like i feel like eight or nine different podcasts they do a they do live shows um i saw one of them do a live show is really good uh and then they also do um they have a show on hbo now too so it's pretty much just like a video version of the podcast but they have like unique insight because like they were one of them a couple of them were speech writers for obama and then another guy dan pfeiffer i think he i can't remember what in which official capacity he worked.
Starting point is 01:16:07 So they were actually a part of that administration. So they have sort of insights that a pundit who's never worked in the White House don't have to offer. And they're funny. It's good stuff, I think. Probably pretty politically neutral as well. Oh, yeah. Definitely. Right down the middle. Woody, just real quick.
Starting point is 01:16:23 Right down the middle. We'll bounce back from this. The Blues are playing the Flyers tonight. We are both rooting for the middle. Woody, just real quick. We'll bounce back from this. The Blues are playing the Flyers tonight. We're both rooting for the Blues. Seven minutes into the first period, the Blues are up 5-2. That's fine. We are playing for a lottery pick.
Starting point is 01:16:37 We're playing for a draft pick, and you're playing for the playoffs. You can win this one, Taylor. I feel almost bad after what the Hurricanes did to you all season, so you can have this Fly taylor and i feel almost bad after what the hurricanes did you all season so you can have this flyers game the hurricanes butt fucked us this season they did if we're gonna do a little little little sports segue woody amanda nunez or holly home nunez for sure and of course i almost look i really like holly home she's sweet can you start fighting people you can beat it It's all title shots.
Starting point is 01:17:05 She's the only UFC fighter who can lose three in a row and get a title shot. Can I interest you in a little man called Uriah Faber? Didn't she beat the one... Who's the one that beat Ronda Rousey? That is Holly Holmes. Actually, both of them beat her. Amanda Nunez, too.
Starting point is 01:17:20 The other one, the one that's super... That's Amanda Nunez, and they're facing off now. No, that was a different one. Holly Holmes. No, just two. Really? Yeah. Ronda Rousey has two losses
Starting point is 01:17:30 and both of these women are fighting each other. But Amanda Nunez, Holly Holmes beat her and I like the way she beat her. When it takes two rounds and she wins like seven out of seven minutes, you can
Starting point is 01:17:45 really see that like she won Nunez oh my god it'd be like Mike Tyson and me she just went in there and buttfucked that woman and knocked her out in less than a minute like she did Cyborg yeah was that less than a minute too it felt like it it felt like 38 seconds or something like that it was just like bomb after bomb after bomb after bomb. Minion Nunez is the toughest woman who has ever lived so far. She is the toughest female fighter that I have
Starting point is 01:18:14 ever seen. She hits like a man. I mean that in the least sexist kind of way. Are you saying that because she's gay? I'm talking about her muscle chain. I feel like i can kind of tell if someone's a little uncoordinated sometimes women fighters i'm just like i think that that body can produce more power if she was better at doing it if she if she was in better
Starting point is 01:18:35 control of her body more coordinated perhaps amanda nunez fucking throws a punch and you can tell there's like hip rotation and she's pushing off and like everything is working towards putting as much power in those fucking knuckles on your head as possible. She would beat me to death. She is a scary, scary 135 pound woman. Did you guys see, um,
Starting point is 01:18:57 I kind of like skipped a set, like a little part of the segue, but I was thinking about how Ronda Rousey is now in WWE. And then I was thinking about the John Oliver segment on the WWE.we did you guys yes i did watch that neither of you guys did i haven't seen it i've never seen a john oliver segment it does not paint vince mcmahon in a particularly good light but what does he's hilarious all right all right so so in a nutshell basically it says vince mcm McMahon hires these people as contractors, which, by the way, is iffy.
Starting point is 01:19:29 As an ex-accountant, I know a little thing about whether people are contractors or employees. And a big, big part of it is if you're a contractor, you get to choose sort of when and where you do your job. But then again, all these actors are contractors, so maybe I'm missing something and then he's like as contractors when things go wrong for them 30 years after their career because their brains are all twisted and fried then they're out there on their own they're running
Starting point is 01:19:55 go fund me's for these poor ex-wrestlers and they don't live that long they don't live long but what's he supposed to do? Ensure these people forever? Is he supposed to? What benefits? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Don't you think?
Starting point is 01:20:10 They're a billion dollar industry. I mean, I can actually get behind that. Yeah. Like they should be taking care of these people for life. Like they're going through a ton of head trauma, CTE. The same thing should be done for any sport. Worse than Medicare. It should be.
Starting point is 01:20:23 These entitlements would be buried. I don't see how it works. But it's for the teeniest group of people. It's be worse than Medicare. These entitlements would be buried. It's for the teeniest group of people. It's like, can you smell what The Rock is cooking? No, I just smell burnt toast. They can afford it. They can fucking absolutely afford it. You're probably right. You've got NFL players.
Starting point is 01:20:37 You've got committing suicide because of CTE. There's an influx of NHL brawlers and enforcers who kill themselves after they get out of the league. Cause they've taken so many blows. Like it. And a lot of them, there was one story that like was on the players tribune.
Starting point is 01:20:51 I'm not sure. Like if you guys read that, it's basically like a, a sports tribune for the big four major sports where eventually like every once in a while, a player will write a piece. And one of those was like from an enforcer in the NHL writing about how like it was always expected an enforcer in the nhl writing about how like it was always
Starting point is 01:21:06 expected of him like that nobody really cared if he had the headaches or if he had like cluster migraines or whatever it was like your job is to go out there and fight and it was like well this is my job i can't not do this this is all i know how to do they talked about that in the in the oliver's segment he said that in their contracts they um the wwf or the wwe can can fire them or terminate their contract if they're injured for more than a month and a half out of the year um which is just so wild to me because a lot of these injuries you got to think could probably take months to recover from and like cm punk like talked about it a little bit apparently on some podcast or whatever that he literally shit his pants on during a taping of smackdown because he was so
Starting point is 01:21:50 uh sick from being concussed or something like that he had just recently suffered a concussion and then and then the doctor had told him like you know like well i can tell him that you have a concussion but do you really want to take the time off so he like pushed through and so yeah he shit his pants and then he tweeted i just shit my pants on national television like, well, I can tell him that you have a concussion, but do you really want to take the time off? So he pushed through. He shit his pants, and then he tweeted, I just shit my pants on national television. Please retweet. I like that he owned it. What a great way to handle that.
Starting point is 01:22:16 Right, but he's a professional wrestler, and these people are the best at that. Love, hate, whatever. They are masters of their task. So he did handle it great. You got to go ahead. No, no, that's fine. Where either of you guys ever into like WWF for WWE?
Starting point is 01:22:35 Because I've never seen a match in my life. And I remember when I was a kid, so many people loved it. And I, I was curious because I'm always like, like when I see like a 50 year old guy watching that, always wonder like like he's in on the joke he's just watching this the same way like a 70 year old woman watches general hospital i was into it when i was a little little kid you know like under nine uh i was kind of into it and i thought it was real i didn't know my father would say it was fake and i was like it's he's like no, that guy weighs 300 pounds. If he were to jump off the top rope onto another guy, that guy would die.
Starting point is 01:23:07 It's fake. And obviously, like an adult practiced eye can see that. Like, why is it when they always jump on people, they land on their own knees and hands and don't land on the guy and the slaps? Whatever, it's obviously fake. But as an adult, I just follow it on the most periphery of levels like rowan ronan when he
Starting point is 01:23:30 announced his cancer that was an amazing speech some of the rock speeches some of the ones that like go down in history as as outstanding you know hype jobs i like to check them out yeah i got into it when we were like freshmen that's where that's Yeah, I got into it when we were freshmen. That's when we all got into it. So I got into it a little bit later than I was like a little kid. And then I was super, super, super invested. I would go to the Wrestling Rumors websites and spend hours just scouring through all the... Yeah, the drama and everything. Rumor drama backstage.
Starting point is 01:24:06 And there was a lot of drama back then too with like brett hart and vince mcmahon had a big falling out and uh there's like a million other examples so there was like this whole other storyline that was going on behind the scenes that i found really interesting too but then i hit like college like 18 19 years old and then one day it just completely vanished in one day. I just remember thinking, like, I am not entertained by this at all. Like, it wasn't like I slowly fell out of favor. It was just I was done with it. I still liked the games. Wrestling games were a lot of fun.
Starting point is 01:24:35 I have some questions for you, Hutch, on testing you on your wrestling fandom. Okay. This is a glossary of terms, and I want to see what you know. What is a face? Face is the good guy. All right. What is Brett's rope? Brett's rope?
Starting point is 01:24:53 I don't know what that is. It is the second rope, the middle rope of the wrestling wing. I thought that was going to be more macabre because of how many of these people killed themselves. Do you know what Broadway is or going Broadway? Yeah, I think it means when you get like a major push, when they push you to like a main event status. I think that's like a, yeah, it's gay for pay. It's when you hit the time limit.
Starting point is 01:25:15 I'm not doing very well. No, well, these are hard. I don't know any of them. I'm just, I didn't prepare this bit in advance. What is a false comeback i yeah i don't know i guess i wasn't that much of a fan i know a lot of the terminology i just don't know these are new to me i think you have to be like a hardcore super super hardcore yeah like i and like guys who are smart marks right
Starting point is 01:25:44 the guys who are like watching the meta game, you know, there's the marks, everyone out there who just believes the show they're putting on. Then there are the smart marks who understand like the logic behind the show. Like, you know,
Starting point is 01:25:55 this guy's about to lose his fight. I know it because his contract's about to expire and he's gotta be, you know, they gotta take the belt from him. And the smart marks know the, the background to it. Yeah. The politics of wrestling is really interesting. It's more interesting than the actual wrestling itself.
Starting point is 01:26:11 Did you see Jake the Snake on Joe Rogan? Highlights. That was really good. That was really good. Him talking about the snake. It was a real snake. He'd bring in the ring and all the nonsense that would go on with that shit. It was really funny. There was this old documentary on with that shit. It was really funny.
Starting point is 01:26:25 There was this old documentary called Beyond the Mat. It was super interesting. They followed Mick Foley around. They followed this guy named, oh, man, what was his name? He was like a rapper persona in the ECW. He was fucking crazy. They followed around Jake the Snake as well. He's had a couple documentaries about him.
Starting point is 01:26:42 He's had a rough, rough life, real rough life. The 30 for 30 with rick flair that was fucking excellent uh i'm fascinated by god damn show i don't even they do amazing work i want to know who makes that like who's producing it and and it's just all espn yeah it's all espn yeah but the individual who works for espn who that guy is that guy needs to branch out and do his own thing like i'm sure he's getting paid well but i'd love to see him like take turn the take the chains off and let him branch outside of sports like oh yeah do other i don't give a shit about baseball but i've probably watched three or four you know of those shows about baseball just because it's so in depth yeah did you ever
Starting point is 01:27:20 see the one you see the one about the pitcher who pitched the no-hitter on LSD? That sounds familiar. That may have been a YouTube clip. Yeah, that's real funny too. It's great stuff. I have a hard time with a lot of sports now. I feel like I can't watch baseball anymore. I'm old enough now to understand the salary cap and how it's just perpetually fucking my team over and and it's just not fair you know it's just not fucking fair like they baseball players get fucking paid to like they get fucking paid but but like the minimum salary even for like the lowest
Starting point is 01:27:57 possible position you could be in in the major league in major league baseball is i think like 395 000 a year or something. Good. It's definitely like in mid six figures. I just – I'm in Atlanta. But their schedule is crazy, so that makes sense. I'm in Atlanta, and I grew up always being kind of a Braves fan. I remember 95 when we won, and I remember the Glavin-Smoltz-Maddox years where we had the three or four Hall of Famers
Starting point is 01:28:25 on our starting roster pitching. And it's just like they all get bought off by these teams with bigger salaries. Oh, yeah. Well, just jump over to the Cardinals. Be a St. Louis fan. We're always good. No, fuck.
Starting point is 01:28:38 No, you're not always good. Second best franchise. No, we're not always good. I don't even know enough to say it. I don't fucking watch it. Did they just win a pennant pennant like didn't they just in 2011 uh they won oh yeah the minimum salary the minimum mlb salary in 2019 is 555 000 the minimum nba 582 000 minimum nhl 650 000 oh and then there's a huge drop off for major league soccer 60 000 yeah 60 582,000 minimum NHL, 650,000. Wow. Oh,
Starting point is 01:29:05 and then there's a huge drop off for major league soccer. 60,000. Yeah. 60,000. No, I'm sorry. 56. I should have gone into accounting.
Starting point is 01:29:14 I'm, I'm told that Atlanta has the best soccer team in the country. I wouldn't know. Um, I don't know where they play or they probably get a stipend. They're fine with 60 000 apparently the last two cities they're picking for the next mls expansion or st louis or sacramento and so chiz was like messaging me like you guys aren't gonna get it we're gonna get it
Starting point is 01:29:36 i was like get get what it's like the soccer team i'm like oh yeah you can have it don't they do it in the isn't the way that they do it in the nfl is that all the owners like evenly split the the the revenue and then they all get that they all get the same amount of money to spend on new players isn't that how they do it over there but they can i don't know how the nfl does it i know baseball you can spend whatever nba is a little more fair because they have a soft cap which means let's say the soft cap is a hundred million. It's way more than that. But if you're the golden state warriors, you can spend 150 million,
Starting point is 01:30:10 but you have to pay a penalty. Whereas if you're the new Orleans Pelicans or whatever, you don't have the money to do that. Like, and so it's not quite as fair. Interesting. Yeah. I think hockey is the only one with a hard cap that you can't.
Starting point is 01:30:24 Right now, since we're on sports, dude, uh, St. there interesting yeah i think hockey's the only one with a hard cap that you can't hockey's exciting right now since we're on sports dude uh st louis has a chance to be good i know you're probably not a believer but their second half of their season is strong and if you use that as a measure one of the better teams in the nhl a contender same thing i can say about the carolina hurricanes the flyers we're playing for a draft pick right now. And then NBA. You guys know I'm a hardcore basketball player. Always have been. the Sixers are good. And I'm having a fun time watching them and getting into their players and all
Starting point is 01:30:54 the drama. Are they good this year? Yeah. I saw them play the Warriors. I know Ben Simmons just like a little bit. I don't want to overstate it and say we're best pals or anything. Oh, really? Yeah. Well, Ben Simmons is a a little bit. I don't want to overstate it and say we're best pals or anything. Oh, really? Yeah, well, Ben Simmons is a very good player. Weird has no outside shot, but otherwise a very good
Starting point is 01:31:10 player who the Sixers need to win. I started paying attention to the Sixers because of him, but it's good to hear that they're doing better this year. I think you can... Real NBA heads might correct me on this, but I feel like there's the Golden State Warriors who sit on top of this throne, and then there are
Starting point is 01:31:25 five teams that are like the next level of favorite to win the title this year, and the Sixers are one of them. The Lakers aren't doing great this year? They missed the playoffs, so they're done. And LeBron, who's their best player, he I don't know, had a nagging injury, so he just took
Starting point is 01:31:41 the rest of the season off. Oh, really? Well, they ordered him to take the season off. I'm not a big LeBron fan, but that was the case. I looked at that Reddit thread, and there's so many people shitting on LeBron. I guess he's got a lot of haters. He's kind of an asshole. Dude, if you're the GOAT, you're going to get a bunch of haters. He's also kind of a great guy.
Starting point is 01:32:00 The thing he did with the school in Akron, Ohio, and all this is wonderful. With the wife. I know, with the wife. You know, I'm sure you appreciate that. You know, he's high school sweetheart. Never fucked around. Dude, there are very few people from any background who you could just make that rich and that famous and not mess up. I mean, we've seen YouTubers. And he made that really smart decision.
Starting point is 01:32:21 He was offered, I don't remember the numbers, but let's just say he was offered $3 million a year. And he was like, you know what? I believe in myself. I think I can do better than that. And then it was like $20 million a year or something like that. Just making these numbers up. But he said no to like three. From who?
Starting point is 01:32:38 Are we talking about the... I'm sorry. I don't have any more information. I read this. I was reading this like a month ago, and I don't remember the details. But I don't care for basketball players in general or basketball as a sport. I don't think
Starting point is 01:32:52 it is a real sport. Let me talk about LeBron for a second. Instead of shooting on the NBA. It's a hot take. The thing with LeBron that the people are fussing at him about this year is his teammates aren't as good as him. And he like visibly shows how upset he is.
Starting point is 01:33:09 Like he doesn't join the huddle when they're drawing up the next play. You miss a shot and he'll be like, that guy sucks at shooting. And it's hard to have that guy on your team. That's true. I didn't know. Well, I don't know anything about basketball. So you don't want that guy in anything yeah now he's a sport from one of the best players who have ever lived so there's that amy schumer movie okay he's in the movie he's in train wreck he's
Starting point is 01:33:36 like he has like many speaking lines and he's actually it's him and bill hader play off of each other a bunch and it's actually they they're pretty funny. I remember that. I don't think I've seen Amy Schumer's movie. What was that one with that really funny fat bitch who was with Jason Statham and it's a spy movie? Oh, it's called Spy. She is really fucking funny in that movie.
Starting point is 01:33:59 That movie's great. That movie's super funny. Jason Statham the whole time is just the bumbling idiot. I watched that recently. I was in Colorado. Maybe it was because I was in Colorado and I got to have a gummy bear that it was so hilarious to me. Gummy bears do that.
Starting point is 01:34:14 Yeah. Oh, those things will sneak up on you, man. Jesus Christ. I used to have them in middle school. I'm not as experienced with eating it, and so I went to the store when i was out there i'm like this is neat i'm gonna get chiba chews because this is like the thing you hear about like at least when you're in states not from there and so i got some of those
Starting point is 01:34:32 and i ate one and like maybe 45 minutes later i was like i'm gonna go eat another one and my smart part of my brain was like, don't. Don't. Just wait. And it definitely works. Just one of those will get you. I used to eat the whole bag of gummy bears back in middle school. Fuck you up. Oh, these are drug gummy bears.
Starting point is 01:34:55 You can only get and legally take in certain states. Ah, my mistake. Oh, they legalize. You're in California. So that's totally legal. And it's been legal for like two years now, right? Since 2016. And it went into effect immediately.
Starting point is 01:35:11 It was like that day they... That's kind of neat. It was effectively legal and it took like another year for them to approve the way that the dispensaries would transfer over to a normal just business or whatever but it was like day one the only thing is is like there's a couple weird things about the law is that i think when they passed it in california it repealed the compassionate care act which is what legalized marijuana for medicinal purposes but then but in doing that there were parents that would give their kids cannabis products to help with seizures and stuff like that and then all of a sudden i don't think they're legally legally allowed because they're too young i don't yeah because you have to be 21 to to bite and it
Starting point is 01:35:54 and it got rid of the medical portion of it and then there was also like you can't you technically it's not it's not legal to smoke anywhere outdoors you can't like you can't just yeah pull out a joint and smoke it and you used to be able to do that when it was legal for medicinal purposes i don't mind that like yeah yeah it's a it's a real strong odor like i don't if i i don't like i it's a strong odor and you know i i would try to watch a there's kind of a baby step thing too like like so i'm for marijuana legalization not a pot smoker but i'm for legalization because i think and i've always i've been this way for maybe eight years when i changed my mind and uh um it's because i feel like arresting and
Starting point is 01:36:37 prosecute prosecuting uh the pot smokers for smoking pot is worse for society than the pot is. Absolutely. Having said that, like, I also don't want my kids to smoke pot. I don't want like a pot society. Like that should be a private thing. And,
Starting point is 01:36:56 you know, so I, I like it. I like the way they did it. That's all. Like, I don't want you smoking pot on the bus, making my kids think it's a more even thing
Starting point is 01:37:09 than I want them to think it is. I don't like the whole think of the kids thing because you should be able to have a conversation with your kids and say, hey, this is for adults. Because you really shouldn't be smoking pot until you're probably like, if it's in moderation, you're probably not going to do long-term brain damage or anything like that. But if you're smoking a lot of pot before the age of 25 you can really kind of
Starting point is 01:37:29 affect your brain in ways that'll persist throughout your adulthood and that's not schizophrenia it's not a good thing yeah it can it can it can sort of trigger latent mental disorders in people that maybe they would have already maybe it would have happened down the line anyways but it'll it'll trigger a lot of like schizoaffective and schizophrenic type disorders and stuff. But if you can walk down the street and explain to your kid, okay, that's a bar, they're drinking beer,
Starting point is 01:37:54 you're not allowed to do that until you're 21. Hopefully you'd explain to them why that they're not allowed to do that in a way that they'd understand. But why wouldn't the same courtesy be extended for someone who's- It's a powerful powerful counter argument i hear where you're coming from i still you know the heck on the bar argument there's no open container laws like i didn't say you couldn't have a marijuana bar i'd be fine with that they do in alaska now i have a marijuana
Starting point is 01:38:21 bar okay yeah but i think they're going to be rolling those out. But the open container on the bus would be a better parallel. And I don't love that. Yeah. I mean, yeah, but if I'm like... It takes the culture and puts it more central. I kind of like... Like California is really strict with the smoking laws. I think it's statewide, but it might just be county to county or city to city.
Starting point is 01:38:42 But most places you go in California, you're not allowed to smoke within 20 feet of a business or a place that sells food and stuff like that. So there's a lot of places. And in fact, I think there's a lot of cities in California where you just can't smoke at all outside because everything is near a business or something like that. So you have to kind of sneak it or whatever. I was talking to my cousin who lives in Colorado and he was saying the same thing where he was like, oh yeah, they're opening up pot bars now where they don't sell it there, but you can go there and smoke it because the law is like you have to be in private property to use it.
Starting point is 01:39:17 And it's technically, you know, it's that bar's private property. And so you can go take your weed that you buy at the dispensary, go next door and smoke it there. But you can't buy it from there. You can just buy like coffee. It's more like the coffee houses they have in Amsterdam and shit, if my understanding is right. Well, I think, yeah, funny story about them. I think they passed a law in Amsterdam where it's not open to tourists.
Starting point is 01:39:41 Like you have to be a local to the area. Yeah, I'm pretty sure that they were having a problem with a lot of like maybe college kids from the states coming in and just acting like a moron after eating a bunch of mushrooms or smoking pot or whatever and so they i think they just recently passed something that said they couldn't do it i never think of people getting way too high and then causing a ruckus like i always think of them getting way too high and being like how am i gonna gonna get home? Yeah, but that's like an adult.
Starting point is 01:40:10 Yeah, but when I was in high school, we used to do all kinds of stupid, stupid shit all the time when we were smoking pot. Now, I can't imagine me getting into trouble. I don't really get to... When I smoke pot, it's not the same. I don't get how pot is portrayed in the media and stuff like
Starting point is 01:40:26 i don't get giggly i don't get so out of it that i can't have a conversation with people it just affects me totally different now than it did when i was younger too how what does it give you um so it helps me um with sleep and it helps me like sometimes if I got like I have a real picky stomach and so I'll get um sort of nauseous sometimes uh depending on the sort of food that I eat if I smoke just like a little bit it helps me with that makes food taste better it makes movies better it makes music better it makes sex better it's just you know all around really fun substance there's not a lot of like you'd have to really be smoking I think a lot of pot for you to experience significant memory. Yeah, all those things you just said.
Starting point is 01:41:11 It's hard to get much from that, though. Like, oh, it just makes everything better. Oh, so how's that different? I told that to my mom one time. I was like, it just makes everything better. Not everything. It doesn't make chess just makes everything better. Not everything. It doesn't make chess better, for example. Or driving.
Starting point is 01:41:30 Or driving, yeah. That's another one. I was playing chess right now. I was just looking. I'm sorry I haven't been talking for a couple minutes. Someone just PM'd me. Like, you were totally cheating in our chess game last night. I'm like, bullshit.
Starting point is 01:41:40 You got fucked. How do you cheat at chess? He thinks I have. Yeah, he thinks i was using a computer you were weren't you no i've beaten you in chess and i'm not that good were you geometry wars yes in vermont oh god in vermont um yeah that was like eight years ago or so have you been like have you yeah it was a while ago have you gotten good yeah yeah no i have not gotten good chet i'm sure that uh hutch is much
Starting point is 01:42:10 better than me at chess just uh i'm aware that he plays a lot and he's been playing a lot um but is he also still better than you at geometry wars oh definitely so definitely so, definitely so, of course, of course. Yeah, of course. Don't bring that up, man, it's still funny. That was the greatest troll ever. Yeah, yeah. That was a long con troll too, man. You stuck to that story for years. I loved it, I loved it. I would look at my girlfriend and be like,
Starting point is 01:42:36 look how mad they are. Yes, furious. Because you came in and fucking quadrupled the high score five or six of us like every one of us like you know like one of us would be on the top and then you came in i remember like like dming people like people don't know this backstory what are we gonna do bro i can't we they were all playing geometry wars and they were like one each one upping each other and and like frankly i thought it was a silly game and i wasn't great great at it at all i didn't play very much of it but i was just like this could be the greatest troll of all time if i somehow like come up with the if i just like quadruple because what they do is they'd be
Starting point is 01:43:18 like oh i have a million and then the next guy would be like i got 1.1 million yeah they just like little barely tip each other like this and i was like what if i just just fucking like quadruple their score like like would it blow their minds i i i think i can i think i can make that happen and i just contacted one of the best players in the world i was like hey man you want to you want to hook me up here this would be funny and he was like yeah sure whatever hutch isn't laughing that's why it's a good troll no man because you don't fucking know okay how much time did you spend trying to beat that guy's score there was there was there was like a
Starting point is 01:44:01 month long stretch where i was playing Geometry Wars, and I'm not exaggerating, 40 hours a week. I played it two hours tops. I never even got close to beating your score. And it was so crucial. Dude, Hutch reached out to me. And I'm not in on this. Hutch is like, you know, Woody, I need to talk to Kyle.
Starting point is 01:44:21 And I'm like, I'll pass it on. Yeah. And then I'm like, hey, Kyle, Hutch wants to talk to Kyle. And I'm like, I'll pass it on. Yeah. And then I'm like, hey, Kyle, Hutch wants to talk to you. And Kyle, like, brushed it off. Now, Hutch is like the king of YouTube at this point. You don't brush off when fucking Odin contacts you for a meeting. But Kyle does because he knew what it was about. He knew he had been discovered and didn't want to have that conversation.
Starting point is 01:44:41 I smelled the rat immediately. Oh, great. But Kyle didn't want to have that conversation. I smelled the rat immediately. Oh, it was great. Kyle didn't tell me even. He wasn't like, oh, Woody, I know what this is. He was just like, yeah, no, I'm too busy or something. It was, yeah. You took something pure and you made it impure. I corrupted it.
Starting point is 01:45:00 I corrupted it. Dude, I love those videos you made, Hutch. When you ended with the Portal theme song, that was some good gaming stuff. That was a lot of fun. I love those videos you made, Hutch. When you ended with the Portal theme song, that was some good gaming stuff. That was a lot of fun. I love it. And I put the Portal theme song in mine, too. Yeah, I don't know if I ever had the kind of victory I could use it.
Starting point is 01:45:16 Dude, Hutch, man, your videos were... You used to play with your girlfriend at the time, a game, Explosion Man. I am. I started playing Explosion Man with my wife. It's weird how influential influencers can be. They came out with a Miss Explosion Man, too.
Starting point is 01:45:31 It was a really fun game. I think we played that, too. It was cool. I remember Hutch trolled me with something like that. It must have been like fucking eight years ago now where it was the first time I'd played Magic with like, me, you, all sham, no wow, and fucking Captain Sparkles. Onslaught?
Starting point is 01:45:47 Yeah, someone like that we were playing. Onslaught's awesome. We had an hour-plus long game. For those of you who don't play Magic, that's pretty long. It was just back and forth because Hutch was gaining a little bit of life, and I had an infinite bird 1-1 engine
Starting point is 01:46:02 just making a ton of them. I was going to win. It was just a long matter of time. And then out of nowhere, the whole screen freezes and shuts down. And I'm like, is everybody there? Is everybody there? And Hutch is like,
Starting point is 01:46:15 oh, dude, my game just crashed. Oh, I'm so sorry, man. I guess I think we're going to have to redo it. Yeah, you dashed me in the middle of it and you had me believing for like 15 minutes that it was uh it was an accident until you admitted it but it was more of like uh i thought it was funny i used to do that with monopoly too that's it but that game crashes so much that you don't even need to do it it's so frustrating the monopoly the ubisoft monopoly crashes on three on xisoft Monopoly crashes on Xbox One,
Starting point is 01:46:46 it crashes on PS4, it crashes on Switch. You need the bootleg Monopoly. What's it called? It's just called Monopoly Plus, I think. No, Rento Fortune. That's what we play. Rento Fortune. I think it's on Steam. Does it function the same as Monopoly, essentially?
Starting point is 01:47:02 Not only does it function perfectly, it has many different modes where you can change the board up to like countries or nations or states and uh it's really fun and it it auto completes your uh everything for you like like all the calculate there's not calculation but there's like dice counts and stuff like that like it does everything you don't have to wait for some jackass who takes 30 seconds to count to 11. Yeah, yeah, exactly. And it's honestly really fun. We played a ton of it. We have this thing where subscribers can pay X amount of dollars.
Starting point is 01:47:32 I think it's $500. It's a lot. And they can play games with us. And a few people did that. And we ended up playing a ton of Monopoly with those guys. And then in my private time, I played with my friends. And it's Rento Fortuna, I think is the name of it, or Rento Fortune.
Starting point is 01:47:49 Is that on Steam? I think so, yeah. Yeah, it's very cheap. It's $6 tops. And it's an excellent Monopoly duplicate. Dude, Monopoly gets fucking so complex. When there's four players and you try to imagine, okay, how do I get all three orange properties or all three red?
Starting point is 01:48:11 So you have to like, it's almost like chess. You have to think like there's actually math that you got to do in your head and you got to fucking. So if I give him these railroads, maybe he'll give me that pink and then I can use that pink to trade with this guy to get his green. Then I can use that green to trade with this guy to get the green then i can use that green to trade with this guy to get the orange you know who's really fucking good at that is mike optic diesel is incredibly well versed rental fortune handles a lot of that complexity for you you know so suddenly you're like out of money and it'll tell you it'll help you figure out which
Starting point is 01:48:40 properties to mortgage and stuff and stay in the game if i want to make a three-way trade with taylor and kyle then you can do that a big portion of rental fortune or you know some people call it monopoly is the like tricking people into fucking themselves like hey look we're uh we both realize this game's gonna go on forever no one is really making any moves here i'll give you jackassville if you give me Boardwalk And that'll get this game moving It's a little Game of Thrones-y And it helps a lot if you don't give a shit That's my favorite way to play
Starting point is 01:49:12 Well the first time we played I didn't give a shit Or you'd beat me and I would have fun Well I think we all won at least one didn't we? Not the guy who paid for the game Everybody won but poor Noah Yeah poor Noah Didn't quite, didn't we? Not the guy who paid for the game. Everybody won, but poor Noah. Poor Noah didn't quite win, but that was a fun game. I liked that game.
Starting point is 01:49:31 Is it a different Noah that you're talking about? You wouldn't know him. He's a fan of the show. Yeah, he's the guy who paid to play with us or whatever. We'd been playing a bunch of Monopoly, so he was like, yeah, I'll play Monopoly with you. It's a cheap game. He's already paid like $500,
Starting point is 01:49:48 so why pay $50 for a game to be able to play? I thought it was a good game because it has so much people interaction. That's what I would want if I were playing for that experience. Yeah, exactly. A first-person shooter, everybody can zone out and just be quiet and not really
Starting point is 01:50:03 having a discussion, but Monopoly, negotiation and and like while one person is rolling the other three are kind of bullshitting and stuff like that so it worked out really nicely uh i've been playing a bunch of rust i don't i don't know if i ever you were on a while back i don't know if i was playing rust then or not yeah i think you were i remember you talking about it yeah still playing rust still playing fucking rust i Dude, you know... Oh, I'm sorry. Go ahead. I was going to say, as soon as we're done here, my friends have been establishing a base
Starting point is 01:50:32 and getting their work benched down, and they're waiting on me to come help them in Rust. Dude, I want nothing to do with Rust. You just went to server and you just tried to serve... You don't rent a server. You go on and you play on somebody's server for free i think
Starting point is 01:50:46 i've been watching so much rust on youtube it turns everyone mean wicked even they're just awfully abusing each other the whole thing is based on like killing you and stealing your loot it's an i win you lose type of game and you can work super hard just like good-heartedly sim citying your way into something awesome and then i come around and i steal it from you and and it's so there's a whole lot of like i might want to team with you for a little bit and then betray you that would be a a good strategy kyle did you want to jump in? It just makes people assholes, which makes for interesting videos, but I don't think I want to buy this game. Do you know whose videos you're watching?
Starting point is 01:51:31 No, because it's like half a dozen people. Can you name some? One's like Willem or Waylem. Waylem. Waylem makes very good content. Yeah, Waylem makes very good content. He edits well, and he'll go into his own private server
Starting point is 01:51:42 and recreate. Like if he's storming a compound, he'll go to his own private compound and recreate... If he's storming a compound, he'll go to his own private compound and recreate the server. The base he's going to raid. We approach from the north. Now, my friend, he approached from the south, and it looked like this.
Starting point is 01:51:56 And he'll have 360-degree flying visuals and stuff like that. I really like SirWinter. Oh, I've definitely seen him. Great guy. He's an Aussie. He's very like SirWinter. Great guy. He's an Aussie. He's very good at PvP. Blueprint, which is like
Starting point is 01:52:11 BLOO print. Very good. HJune is the best at PvP and a real nice guy. He's got that Asian blood running thick in his veins like Xcal. It's like Aimbot. It's like like aimbot so it's kind of cheating very good of it bruce is a fucking man all right he's so good i'm liable i've been watching him
Starting point is 01:52:36 live streaming more and i he's really good i ran i ran into bruce and you in fucking pub in Call of Duty Blackout. I don't remember if Sandy was there, but I ran into these guys in Blackout. On PC? Yeah, PC. Yeah. And we didn't know it was you until we were dead. It was like three squads left, and I like ah fucking hutch killed us i was like your steam is like hutchy hutch or something like that i was like i was like hutchy hutch has to be
Starting point is 01:53:13 fucking hutch hutch you know and i go and i i quickly go to your twitch and i'm like i'm like ah yep he's on the part of the map where he just killed us. Your tag wasn't FPS rusher or anything like that. It was probably FPS. Oh, FPS Kyle O. Thanks, Taylor. And so, like, you killed us, and then, like, I was mad at my squad, because we usually
Starting point is 01:53:37 win. And I was talking shit, and I was just like, we could not be getting beat by Hutch and his squad. We were in the advantageous position. They had to come to us. They had to cross a bridge. They had to cross a bridge. If you play with Bruce and Sandy on your team, you're going to win.
Starting point is 01:53:53 Sandy's win rate in Blackout was literally 75% or something like that. Do you remember the drama, Hutch, when you played my game battles team? All that? Do you not remember that? That was a big thing for me. I was new to game battles team? All that? You don't remember that? That was like a big thing for me. So I was new to game battles. When? Oh, was this Black Ops 1?
Starting point is 01:54:10 Modern Warfare 2. I don't remember playing any GBs for Modern Warfare 2. It wasn't GBs, but it was my GB team. So I had just put together a game battles team, and I was new to the whole game battles experience. I wasn't really a competitive player. I had just put together a game battles team, and I was new to the whole game battles experience. I wasn't really a competitive player. We did tryouts, and we brought on some good players.
Starting point is 01:54:32 Onslaught was one of them. T-Mart was one of them. I played with those guys a ton. There were some other guys. Wayne was one of them. Pyrus or something, I forget. And who did I play with? Mostly Machinima guys.
Starting point is 01:54:48 I think Sea Nanners might have been there. Some of the original optic guys like before Skump and Big Timer. Was it a pub or a private? It was private. Yeah, we just played privates. And we played a bunch. No, you did not win. So you came into it cocky as fuck.
Starting point is 01:55:04 Like you thought it was going to be like pub stomping. And I came to it hoping not to embarrass myself. That was the attitudes coming into it. And I was just like, we'll see. I was growing on YouTube. I was making a little noise. So we played against each other. I don't know how many games we played, but a good estimate would be we played 12.
Starting point is 01:55:25 And my team had 10 wins and two ties. Wait, was it Pro Mod when we were doing Codcore with Pro Mod settings? No, I never played Pro Mod, really. It was definitely Modern Warfare 2. I took a ton of shit over it because people said my aim was bad, and it maybe was, but they gave me more. What happened is Wings uploaded my worst game because it was one of the draws,
Starting point is 01:55:46 and he was trying not to make you look bad. But in reality, he just made me look really bad, I guess, because he spectated the whole thing. Nice guy, Wings, looking out for Sean over here. I don't feel like I would have been pissed for losing. No. No, you were not a bad sport in the slightest. No, no, no, not at all.
Starting point is 01:56:04 But Wings was putting himself in your position and being like oh my god he lost a game in call of duty i have to i have to protect his honor because the last time i lost a game of call of duty it literally ruined my life i used to try to prop up the competitive scene as much as i could back then by interviewing a lot of the cod pros back because it was a way smaller scene back then but i specifically wanted to do that because i didn't want people thinking that i was some competitive player and no but i think that you were accustomed to playing with your machinima co-workers and waiting all night.
Starting point is 01:56:46 And you thought it was going to be like that, playing against me, Onslaught, T-Mart, etc. And it wasn't. I remember the only game battles experience I have at all was way back in the day when Woody and T-Mart were like, Hey, Onslaught or Mike can't play tonight. Do you want to fill in for him? And I was like, hey, Onslaught or Mike can't play tonight. Do you want to fill in for him? And I was like, yeah, sure. And in my head, I'm like, man, they must be really deep in the bench.
Starting point is 01:57:14 How did it go? I don't even remember. I was there? Yeah, yeah. It was me, you, and T-Mart. We were playing 3v3s on game battles. This was probably 2012. And the first game we played i did
Starting point is 01:57:27 the best on the team and i was like all right man that's great and of course they would like sneak up from behind and then we played like four more games and i was horrible like at least in two of them i think i was the hands down the reason we lost and so by like the end of it i could see the enthusiasm of woody and t-mart waning where i was like all right guys well uh you know next time you're playing pubs i'll i'll jump in but this is the end of my game battle scene because i was never that good at codD. At no point in my YouTube time, my YouTube career, was I ever any good.
Starting point is 01:58:09 I sucked. I would reuse gameplays all the time and just make jokes over it. I mean, it cultivated a different kind of fan base, which worked out well for me. You know what's surprisingly really, really fun is Battlefield's new BR. The looting system is absolute trash.
Starting point is 01:58:29 Like just the worst of any of them. Because the items, when you kill someone, they all kind of fall to the ground. Oh, shit. But Fortnite, at least, you never have a problem. Like if I want to... Whatever. In this game...
Starting point is 01:58:42 It doesn't color code them? Well, the items will stack on top of each other. And so you literally sometimes can't get to this one thing. Yeah, that's horseshit. Like you'll need like an armor scrap and it's just buried under ammo and guns and stuff. I watch Wings play it a lot. He has to give people tutorials
Starting point is 01:58:58 on how to change their armor plate. Like people who know how to play. Because they make it so... It's such a bad UI and looting system. They to play because they make it so it's such a bad ui and looting system they already said that they're working on it but uh i'm afraid that like i'm pretty sure nobody's going to be playing i mean very few people are playing it now it seems like because it takes two three minutes to get into a game a lot of the times um but it is really really fucking fun and that's a game where it's definitely the prettiest br out there and it's a
Starting point is 01:59:26 it's a game where it kind of reminds me of skyrim when you're walking around and like even just walking around doing mundane things is kind of rewarding and relaxing just because the environment itself is so pretty and dynamic the ring of fire is that's how rust is for me like rust is i've said it on the show before, but Rust is my favorite game I've ever played. It's just incredible. There's so many different ways you can play the game. You don't find the lows to be too low?
Starting point is 01:59:54 The lows are incredibly low. Part of the lows being that low is what makes it so satisfying. I'm not even going to talk about what happened about three days ago. I'm not going to talk about it happened about three days ago i'm not gonna talk about it something awful happened to me were you betrayed no that was your character that happens in games like this yeah because those youtubers will like pick up a random person out
Starting point is 02:00:17 of the the like field of play and be like hey you want to come along with me and go on a raid and do this and that no you don't fucking do that. You don't trust people in Rust. I play with my friends who I've played with since PUBG first came out. I play with people that I know and would never betray me. They have no interest in that. We're actual friends. I play with them.
Starting point is 02:00:38 Nobody else can be trusted. Absolutely not. Can I interrupt? Remember that new guy you hired to mine sulfur? Not hired, but you put out a pitch and uh like if you were live streaming this all the time i wouldn't be surprised at all to hear that some guy offered him a lot of money to do terrible things to you and then he wouldn't do that he wouldn't do that um but but but also he didn't have any way to do anything bad to me he was he was he was he was a, so he had his own house outside of our house.
Starting point is 02:01:09 He didn't have any of our codes. He didn't have any building privilege. He didn't have anything like that. Hutch doesn't know. Probably two months ago when Kyle first got into Rust, he was like, all right, guys, on the show, he's like, listeners out there, I've got my core team but i need some slaves and so if you want to be a slave hit me up and you can be a naked person running around collecting sulfur
Starting point is 02:01:32 for us and i think you had a nice little harm of slaves going yeah it was nice because he's like i need someone with a ton of time to invest have you recently become unemployed do you have nothing happening in your life you're the kind of man I'm looking for. Absolutely. Yeah. And like, it's easy to come by those guys even without like talking about it on this show or whatever they're in the game.
Starting point is 02:01:52 You know, if you're playing solo, I'm playing with like three to four to five people, depending on what time of day it is. And we have a big ass base and we have walls around it and we're safe and we have guns and we have all of the things that you would like as a solo player, but you have to work five times harder than we do to acquire them. And so I'll be like, look, I'll build you a little bitch house out here. You'll
Starting point is 02:02:14 live in it. You go and you get scrap for me and that's your job. You spend three, four hours a day getting scrap for me and you give it to me and in the end we'll we'll all go out together and we'll fight people and i'll give you a gun and armor and like like that that's your best ticket in life like you could try to like get a little bit of everything a little sulfur a little metal a little stone make your own make your own base and spend all that time doing everything yeah it's exactly like that but it like like having slaves having slaves is a common thing in the rust like meta um like that you will see people in the all chat being like hey who wants a slave i'm available just when i thought this game bred terrible people i learned
Starting point is 02:02:57 about the slave trade okay absolutely there's absolutely a slave trade i can't sell my slaves no because because you know i can't i can't force him to go work for them. But I can pay him to come work for them. They're really not slaves. They're employees, you know, in the end. Contractors at best. Do you take care of them in their old age? WWE, man.
Starting point is 02:03:20 They're probably not going to survive until old age in the Rust world, you know. That's just the way things work out. But yeah, Rust is an incredible game. What happened a few days ago that you didn't want to talk about? It just went poorly. You got raided, basically? Just in a bad way, though. A lot of loot got hidden in this one spot,
Starting point is 02:03:41 not in our main base, to avoid getting raided. And then somebody came and got it from there while i was in there and i was maybe and somebody had forgotten to put code locks on a couple of doors so he got in really quickly before i could uh protect the loot and he got a little loot and i went alt f4 i'll be back thursday when they get when the whole map resets again i'm not playing until then. It was a very upsetting moment. Very, very upsetting moment. Those games, when you invest the amount of time
Starting point is 02:04:10 that you do, it provokes real... Dozens of hours. Dozens and dozens of hours into the stuff that I lost right there. And I was the only one online, so I couldn't get help. And I was just building, you know, I'm building walls inside the base, and I'm armoring everything up to make sure this guy can't get to me.
Starting point is 02:04:26 And I'm literally 30 seconds away from taking all this good shit, putting it in this room and then literally armoring myself into a box of armor that it was going to be hard for me to get even out of. Like I'm armed. There's not a door. There's this wall. I was going to put myself in an armor box and make sure he couldn't get the loot but I could come back later
Starting point is 02:04:47 and pick my way into it over the course of two hours of swinging a club or something like that H1 survival was heartbreaking like that too because there were a lot of hackers so you would spend dozens of hours amassing
Starting point is 02:05:03 an ammunition Do you know why your mic might be shutting on and off? No. It's not that bad a lot of hackers, so you would spend dozens of hours amassing and somebody would just teleport to you. Do you know why your mic might be shutting on and off? No. It's not that bad. Just a second ago, it was bad. Yeah, yeah, I heard it for a second. Oh, I just heard a ding. Yeah, someone's got something cooking there.
Starting point is 02:05:17 The ding is my phone, and I've been trying to shut it off the whole fucking show. It's muted. I promise. Do what I did with my smoke detector that ran out of batteries a few nights ago. Tear it down in the middle of the night and then go bury it in blankets
Starting point is 02:05:33 and forget about it in the guest room. I don't think it detects smoke anymore, Taylor. Well, it doesn't, but it's also not making noise. But I have batteries, so I should probably put that back. All those invest 15 hours to get something, that can be fun.
Starting point is 02:05:48 But honestly, I don't have the time to do that, which is why probably the only game I've put more than 30, 40 hours into in the last eight months is Magic the Gathering Arena. I love Magic the Gathering Arena. It blows the pants off of MTG Online. It's not even close. First of all, the interface of MTG Online sucks dick. It takes you out of the experience of playing Magic
Starting point is 02:06:10 because it's so shitty. Magic the Gathering Arena, you got the little, it may seem silly, but you got the little flares and the, oh, you play this card and it does this. Oh, you play this creature and there's a little claw animation or something. I love that game. It doesn't freeze.
Starting point is 02:06:25 Yeah, it's a really great game. They did a fantastic job with Arena. I don't know why I don't play it more. I get addicted to those games, so it's hard. I figured you would play it a lot more because you can get into a five-hour session so easily because every game is only 15 to 25 minutes, and you can run through 10 of them without even realizing.
Starting point is 02:06:44 I really like the BR genre right now, and Apex them without even realizing. I still really like the BR genre right now. Apex is a great game. I had a lot of fun with it. I watched you play that. You put your room on followers only mode. It makes me not stick around as long. Sometimes. Actually, I'm not the one who
Starting point is 02:07:00 does that. I have a super mod. I pay him a little bit of money each month because he's so active. He's worth it yeah um and sometimes if i get rated or something like that or if it's a political discussion then sometimes he'll put it in followers only mode because otherwise like i don't have too much of a problem with like outright trolling and and you know bannable type what do you mean rated in and I don't watch any twitch like a bigger like a bit
Starting point is 02:07:26 when a bigger channel you can you can raid or it doesn't even need to be a bigger channel just any channel you can just immediately
Starting point is 02:07:32 transfer your your audience over to to another person's chat but you consider that a negative thing
Starting point is 02:07:38 no no not at all but the term rated sounded negative no no no no it's not a negative term at all. Host, you can say host.
Starting point is 02:07:47 Amongst pirates it is. I guess raiding, like the sense of like rust, then yeah, that would evoke some feelings of negativity. But yeah, so like sometimes he just does it just for like maintenance, just to make sure that the... Because I don't like like trolling. That's the one thing I don't like i can have disagreements with people and i and i do many times but when it's just someone that is spouting like nothing but nonsense and it's just making the
Starting point is 02:08:15 rest of the chat kind of toxic then it's just better just to put it in followers only i went to wings twitter no i'm sorry i meant to say Twitch. And they were all telling him that they couldn't hear him. Like a hundred people saying your audio is not working. I can't hear you. Oh, he's perfect. His audio was fine. It was a hundred. Like it wasn't even quiet.
Starting point is 02:08:35 Like it was, there was no room for improvement. And just for like 20 minutes, just a stream of people like Wings, we can't hear you. Your mic's not on. 20 minutes, just a stream of people like, Wings, we can't hear you. Your mic's not on. And outnumbered like 15 to 1 amongst people who were like, they're fucking with you, Wings. That guy would be drowned
Starting point is 02:08:52 out by a sea of trolls. Yeah, that would get enough. That's funny. Not that I can't see the funny, but I also see the vulnerable. He's always been that guy who's you know, we've talked about many times. He's like, look, if you guys would all stop being funny real quick,
Starting point is 02:09:10 what the people are really here for is to see me be good at Rainbow Six. And it's like, eight of them are. Like, eight of them are. You know, there's 400 in here. Eight of them want to see you be good at Rainbow Six. 300 of them want to see you be good at Rainbow Six, 300 of them want to see you get upset, and then 192
Starting point is 02:09:29 or whatever the fuck want to see you do something completely different. It's funny. You're listening to that, and I'm putting myself in the situation, right? I want to see him win Battle Royale. I was playing Battlefield Battle Royale. I saw him win. It was cool. It was great. But if you had given me the choice of that or him saying that he wanted my parents to die in a car wreck that went on fire.
Starting point is 02:09:51 I don't know. Or like getting gangster grandma on camera. Yeah, that stuff he does is great content. Yeah, I like that shit. You know, and I think. Mom, don't get it twisted he people should not be sending him things okay people should not be sending people to his house you know and i said that last show and some people i guess didn't hear me clearly i said i don't think
Starting point is 02:10:17 you should send things to his house what i really stressed was that specifically you really shouldn't send people who need to be out there working and earning a living for their their families and stuff to his house like that mechanic especially i thought was not cool because that guy clearly needed that money and he should have been somewhere else maybe actually working on a car but he got sent to wing's house you know but i don't think he should send anything to his house. I mean, there's levels of pranks and then when you get into criminal and dangerous stuff, then you've
Starting point is 02:10:51 gone a bit too far. Yeah, you've gone way too far once you get into criminality. Or really, even then ordering pizzas to someone's house, you're wasting that poor guy's time. At least pay for the pizza. At least pay for the pizza. At least pay for the pizza. Put a tip on there.
Starting point is 02:11:08 Don't do that, even. People would send me paid-for pizzas. That's okay. It's not. I'm not going to make a stand here. Because fuck you, I have received dozens of paid-for pizzas, and it's not cool. He's already been swatted, and now his doorbell's ringing again. He's already had whores and mechanics sent to his house, and Now his doorbell's ringing again. He's already had whores and mechanics sent to his house,
Starting point is 02:11:26 and now his doorbell's ringing again. He's not expecting anybody. It's not cool. And then you don't want pizza. Wings doesn't want pizza at the moment. Sometimes they'd send me pizza, and they'd want me to eat it as part of the show. I already had dinner. When I'm supposed to have pizza after dinner because you sent me one?
Starting point is 02:11:42 I don't want to do that. Given Wings' wings weight situation that really is like a mean spirited thing yeah i really i hadn't thought of it like that that's okay if you ask me look i don't like the dangerous stuff all right i don't like it at all but if you want to send for wings pizza is danger why don't you send me cyanide he's like folding he's doing that thing that new yorkers do where they have to fold the pizza up, but he's got two slices top. Didn't he come on the show like six months ago or something?
Starting point is 02:12:11 No, absolutely not. No, he says we owe him a lot of money and it'll take $10,000 plus the money that he's owed to come back on the show. He's not owed any money. No, but I thought he, didn't he come on as a guest? Absolutely not. No, no, no.
Starting point is 02:12:23 Episode, like 250 or something? Yeah, literally four years ago he came on. I think I'm with Kyle. I don't think he's come on. Wow, episode 250. Okay, you're right. Yeah, we're at like
Starting point is 02:12:39 440 or something now, roughly speaking. So 200 episodes, 50 a year, like four years ago. Once a week or twice a week? Once a week. Once a week. And then we do a one-hour show called PKN, Painkiller Nearly, for patrons that we fill in the gaps with and we have a lot of fun with. But yeah, I don't like the dangerous stuff, but I don't see a great deal of harm in sending the man a pizza that you pay for A and tip the driver for B.
Starting point is 02:13:08 Well, on a similar note, I think Kyle would like it if you sent all sorts of things to his house, so long as they're paid for. No, absolutely not. Fuck you for saying that. No. I don't know. It seems pretty parallel here. I'm trying to go by the Kyle system of morality. Well, fuck you.
Starting point is 02:13:20 Send Woody things because he'll – No. I was pretty clear. If you go by the Woody system of morality, then don't do it. Well, by Woody's sense of morality, send Taylor things, care of Woody, and he'll burn them and not even open the box.
Starting point is 02:13:33 I opened that box. And then he burned it. Nice guy, Woody. I stand by that. Don't send me things. You're the only one who thinks that was a cool thing to do. Well, I'm not The messenger They're like hey
Starting point is 02:13:47 These guys I'm having a hard time getting in touch with them So I'll just get in touch with you On behalf of them And it's like If you're Taylor Then Taylor stuff I was going to set up a PO box But then the whole
Starting point is 02:14:00 Couple years ago debacle made me think Maybe not But don't send wings things but then the whole couple years ago debacle made me think, maybe not. Yeah, but don't send wings things even if you pay for them. And I feel I just have this hope that Kyle's like, you know what, maybe I don't like it. Fuck you. I mean, it... Fuck you.
Starting point is 02:14:19 I mean, you're hurting a guy who's... I'm not hurting him. I didn't send him anything. Fuck you for telling people to send things to my house. That's not cool. I didn't tell him to send things to his house. I'm saying that there's a difference to me between A and B. I think you did say to send it to their house.
Starting point is 02:14:35 I'm saying that I see a big difference between A and B. I don't care if you send a man a pizza and you pay for it and you pay for the tip, but don't send mechanics and stuff like that because that's not cool to the mechanic and it's not cool to Wings because the mechanic will be angry. It's not cool to send anything to someone's house,
Starting point is 02:14:52 but I do see a difference between sending a prostitute or a mechanic and a pizza. I definitely see a chasm of difference between that and then another chasm of difference between a mechanic and a prostitute and a SWAT team. But all of these things fall on the side of wrong. Just how far wrong they are. That would creep me out. That would fucking creep me out if somebody did that. Lots of people have sent me stuff.
Starting point is 02:15:16 How would they know what kind of toppings I want? Exactly. Oh yeah, you don't get the pizza you want. What if they put olives on it? It could happen. I like olives. I don't get the pizza you want. What if they put olives on it? It could happen. I like olives. I don't like olives on pizza. I don't usually want pizza.
Starting point is 02:15:31 That's the food I crave 24-7. I could eat pizza at any point. Really? If I just finished dinner? Yeah. I love pizza. I think my last pizza was when I was in the hotel with a broken leg. Blaze pizza is real good.
Starting point is 02:15:46 Real fucking good. I think it's the fastest growing fast food chain in America right now. And I think LeBron James has like a significant ownership of it or something like that. What is it called? Blaze? Blaze pizza. It's like the Chipotle of pizza.
Starting point is 02:16:01 Like they throw it all together right in front of you and then they throw it in a wood oven. And then, I don't know what you call it what do you call it what kind of yeah yeah like a wood oven yeah or the wood burning oven i don't know yeah one of those yeah and then it takes like 10 minutes and it's really really fucking good it's a quality pizza place if you ever it's cool good i don't think we have that here i've never heard of blaze pizza i haven't well i mean we're he's in California. We're in Missouri, North Carolina, and Georgia.
Starting point is 02:16:28 So a bit of a chasm. Yeah. Let me do another advertisement here. Tell everybody what's going on. Advertisements. This episode of PK is brought to you by a company that we have a lot of personal experience with, Postmates. You know what's great about eating your favorite thing? It's your favorite thing, and you're eating it. You know what's not great? Getting it. And the only fast thing that delivers,
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Starting point is 02:17:38 Get the food you love fast at Postmates with code PKA. That may be the sponsor that I use the most, unless you count Casper, which I sleep on every night. I don't know if that's a fair comparison. It's a comfortable mattress. Big fan. I use a lot of Postmates. We're doing some accounting recently, and it's just like pages of Postmates,
Starting point is 02:18:00 just pages and pages of that shit. It'll catch up to you. It's kind of like perfect, though, when you're streaming. What do shit. It'll catch up to you. It's kind of perfect, though, when you're streaming. What do you mean it'll catch up to you? Because there's a price involved. I see. Yeah, you have to spend a lot of money.
Starting point is 02:18:15 Yeah. It would definitely be much more expensive to go shopping for groceries and cook my own food every night. I probably should do that. Because it could be... Would it be more expensive to do that to shop no it'd be cheaper it'd be cheaper for sure because postmates it's like 20 every meal just for me minimum and sometimes like if i get sushi it's like 50 like i definitely got like 50 with the sushi the other night like out of nowhere i was
Starting point is 02:18:42 like oh yeah i want this and that and this and that check out 55 dollars jesus i just wanted a snack it can definitely get out of hand so we got to talk about the bar summary don't we oh you want to we have to how can we not talk about that yeah just trying to avoid that topic oh I was trying not to do hours of politics, but I love politics talk. I just didn't want to be the guilty guy. You're muted, Taylor. You're muted, just so you know. Thank you. I just got back from the bathroom.
Starting point is 02:19:16 What were you talking about? He said he wanted to talk about the Barr summary, Barr being the attorney general who has the Mueller report. Yes, yes. Well, Taylor may know, but the listeners might not know. I mean, it's front page news. What about it? They're even American. Yeah, I shouldn't spend too much time on it.
Starting point is 02:19:32 Yeah, I shouldn't spend too much time, I agree with Woody there, but yeah, we can talk about it. Dude. So I feel like if you're not arguing on the side of like openness and transparency it's difficult to argue that you're on the side of the right bar is a White House appointed Attorney General and he was a point in this case anyway he was appointed mostly because he was very critical of the Mueller investigation in the first place just like the guy before him, Whitaker, was appointed.
Starting point is 02:20:05 Because he had an idea on how to shut it down. He said he would defund it. That's how Trump is picking his attorney generals. If you don't think that, you're probably silly. But nobody defunded it or shut it down. That's how Trump is picking his attorney generals. He's finding people who are critical of the Mueller investigation. And I don't know what they did.
Starting point is 02:20:23 Specifically, Barr wrote this 17-page memo basically to the Department of Justice basically laying out his view of the law, which is that a president can't obstruct justice. That is his point of view, is that because he's president, he literally can't. I mean, Mueller didn't even recommend charges for obstruction or collusion.
Starting point is 02:20:50 Well, so therein lies my part of it. I would like to know what Mueller wrote in this thing, right? There's a four page summary on this thing. And all we have is Barr's interpretation or Barr's summary of the Mueller report. I'd like to see the Mueller report. Yeah, I'm sure they will release it at some point, but undoubtedly there are concurrent legal issues that are named in that report. They didn't just stop at looking at Russian shit. They looked all over the place. My guess would be Trump will get hit either during or after his presidencies for some financial shit, because I feel like you could pour into any real estate billionaires financial records and find skeevy shit.
Starting point is 02:21:31 Because, frankly, all billionaires do a bunch of fucking skeevy shit. Remember a couple of years ago when those Panama or not even a couple of years ago when the Panama Papers came out and it basically showed not just rich politicians these actors these these financiers all of these rich elite people were hiding shit in panama and in other places and it all got spilled oh oh but it's not a big deal it's not a big deal we're not going to cover this a ton on the news because we are all in the same elite club we do this and then we delineate whatever information we choose to give to you i think you're kind of downplaying the the trump's like utter lack of scruples or morals when it comes to to to how he conducts himself in his business life as is evidenced by you know decades i mean i don't think he's necessarily
Starting point is 02:22:20 ethical in his business life like but the way that you said it was like well every billionaire would be it's well well but they all fucking do dude like they do paying taxes so many of these billionaires are escaping through thing but we're talking about the the Muller thing like my whole point with the Muller thing is a few months ago BuzzFeed reported a bombshell a bombshell about the Mueller investigation. And within a day, the Mueller team had come out with a representative and said, nope, wrong, wrong, wrong. And I'm now told to believe that Barr would summarize the entire report and present it. And the Mueller team is going to be quiet. So they have the ball to go up against BuzzFeed.
Starting point is 02:23:04 You know, the New York Times came out. i think you're about to say what you mentioned that though because the new york times came out with a story last night where they uh laid out um that that associates of people that worked on muller's team um i saw that more vague sources more this guy says this guy says the same structure of news story we've gotten for years these same people have been saying this happened this happened this happened hold on let me let me just do you think that the new york times is is like just making up sources or do you think that they would run a story like this if they thought that their sourcing was thin yeah i definitely think they would because john brennan has been providing false information to cnn msnbc fox new york times washpo for years now and then
Starting point is 02:23:46 he goes after saying with assurance like there is something going on former head of the cia his word carries a lot of weight he was going out there doing that and then now when it comes out and muller doesn't recommend any charges he says oh well i must have gotten some bad information and it's like no these people are are deceiving you They're lying. I don't trust the mainstream media. But it wasn't just the New York Times. It was Washington Post and NBC also ran stories today that corroborated the New York Times stories. They went through their own sources and found very similar things. It wasn't just... They haven't named any sources. So that doesn't matter. People run with anonymous sources all the time. No, it doesn't. And where has anonymous sources gotten us?
Starting point is 02:24:26 To a three-year hunt. Plenty of solid reporting has been done all throughout the decades of its existence. Watergate comes to mind. Based on anonymous sources, it is a staple of journalism is anonymous sources. I'm not saying that it wouldn't be more convincing to a reader if it was like somebody standing up,
Starting point is 02:24:43 raising their hand and then saying, this is what i saw but to throw the entire concept of anonymous sources no not the concept as a reason to discredit within the context of this story which has been proven and i mean this is another frustrating thing because you know i think kyle and i have kind of been of the opinion of i don't think happened. Let's see what the report says. Like, I think I more than Kyle was on the side of, I don't think Trump colluded. I don't think any of this happened. And people all throughout the mainstream media watch Rachel Manna for 30 seconds over the past three years. All these people have been breathlessly saying, this happened, this happened. He colluded this, that and the other thing. Don Jr. in his meeting, this and that. Oh, he colluded with Wiki and the other thing don jr in his meeting this and that oh he colluded with wiki leaks and all these things like he all of this has been done here in his meeting really bothers me hold on but all of this has been said all of this has been said no no scruples from the mainstream media and they had no problem saying it happened when the russians reached out to don jr and said we we have dirt on Hillary Clinton, he said, I love it.
Starting point is 02:25:46 He didn't say, oh my gosh, I need to go to the FBI or CIA. He didn't say, no, no, no, we don't work with the Russians to get dirt on our political opponents. He didn't say that. What he said was, I love it. Let's meet at Trump headquarters. And Mueller didn't recommend any charges for any of these things. Okay, so wait a second. I want to see what Mueller did say.
Starting point is 02:26:06 None of us have seen the report, so it's very hard to have a conversation about it. All we've seen is a four-page summary from Barr. But what the reporting in the New York Times revealed is that the Mueller team actually provided their own summary at the end of each section. end of each section. And this was a comprehensive, according to reporting, 400-page report with another thousands of pages of documentary underlying evidence. So we're on the same page. I'm totally in favor of full transparency and them releasing it. Right. But let me just finish real quick. On the topic of conspiracy, what he said, what Mueller said is that he and his team could not establish a conspiracy between the Trump campaign and the Russians that showed that the Trump campaign assisted the Russians in their efforts to disrupt our election
Starting point is 02:26:56 or interfere with our election with a two-pronged attack, with the social media troll farms, mass misinformation targeted at sensitive swing states and everybody else broadly. And then also the hacking of the DNC emails and the Podesta emails. I don't think anyone was alleging that Donald Trump or anyone on his team literally helped the Russians do those things. Paul Manafort gave his polling data to the Russians. Right. The question of collusion, it's not even a question. It happened. Whether or not it rises to the level of criminality in a sense that Mueller proved beyond a reasonable doubt that there was a conspiracy between the two parties. How can you just say he colluded with Russia to influence the election? Because Manafort colluded with Russia. Don Jr. colluded with Russia.
Starting point is 02:27:43 The word collude, you're using it so loosely. What did he do? Did Don Jr. get valuable information that he then used to take down the Hillary campaign? What I call it is attempted collusion. Or did Hillary just not at all campaign in the Rust Belt? So just let me answer your question, though, because it's not just that, however, the way that you laid out. The fact that he took that meeting instead of going to the FBI, the fact that he knew that the Russians either had dirt on Hillary or were in the process of trying to get that dirt on Hillary and then didn't go to the FBI to report it to them is a form of collusion
Starting point is 02:28:19 in the sense that it's secret. He took a secret meeting and then he lied about it. And then his father dictated a memo to give to the press explaining that that meeting was about Russian adoptions. It was just an overt lie. And all of this was happening while Donald Trump was pursuing a Trump Tower deal in Moscow that could have potentially been the most lucrative real estate deal of his entire career. And he was also lying about hundreds of millions of dollars while he was also lying to the public about that and then like a short time after that meeting with don jr and and you can choose to believe that don jr didn't tell his dad about
Starting point is 02:28:55 this meeting which i find laughable shortly after that donald trump gets on tv, asks the Russians to hack Hillary, and what do they try to do literally that day? But they tried to hack her specific email situation. WikiLeaks already had all her shit. They were doing a slow leak for a long time. That didn't start until October. We're talking about July. This was during the time of the Republican convention. was we're talking about july this was like during the time of the republican convention so uh and then manafort obviously showing up and then sharing polling data that they had like look
Starting point is 02:29:29 we think that these states here which the democrats consider a lock we think they're actually a little bit more sensitive here's our polling data and here's basically a roadmap roadmap or like a target list for you guys to uh target these. If there is a huge mound of evidence, if all of this and more was available to Mueller and he neither recommended charges for any kind of collusion or any kind of obstruction. And so it's annoying to be on the side of hearing people not critically saying for years, literally years.
Starting point is 02:30:05 This has been the biggest story the past three years. And hearing media figures, social, it is a big story. Hearing media influencers, social people, talking heads, all of them, uncritically saying, this happened, this happened, this happened, without the requisite evidence. And then the Mueller report summary comes out, and it's, oh, we need to wait.
Starting point is 02:30:23 We need to wait. Suddenly, everything we've been saying, now we need more evidence. Taylor, let me respond to that. The things that he's talking about are agreed upon by both sides, right? There is no question that Donald Trump Jr. took that meeting, that Donald Trump Sr. dictated the letter. There's no question that Manafort released the polling data to the Russians. There's no question that Donald Trump got in front of the reporters and said, if you hack this, if you find these emails, you'll be richly reported.
Starting point is 02:30:48 There's no question that afterwards when they said, are you joking? He said, no, I'm not joking. I'm serious. I want you to do this. These things are all out there and agreed upon by both sides. It is weird to me as a non-attorney why this isn't a conspiracy, but apparently it's not. Well, you have to prove it. You have to prove it beyond a reasonable doubt. But here's the difference between the conspiracy side of it. Collusion isn't even a legal term. We're talking about conspiracy.
Starting point is 02:31:13 There's a difference between how Mueller approached the conspiracy side of his investigation, the Trump-Russia connection, and the obstruction. And I think you're failing to recognize the difference in how he approached it. I think you're totally mischaracterizing what happened. What he said was, we can't establish a connection. Therefore, I can't recommend charges for conspiracy. What he said with obstruction was totally different. That is not what he said. Normally, a prosecutor will recommend either charges or no charges.
Starting point is 02:31:41 He decided to leave that basically up to... He himself didn't want to be the one to solely dictate the precedent that this would set. And what he did was he laid out evidence in his report that we still haven't seen yet, according to Barr's own summary, that did lay out evidence of a crime that happened. And he said, I'm not going to make any recommendation, presumably punting that to either Barr or Congress. The Congress are the ones that get to decide at that point whether or not it rises to the level of an impeachable offense. So I think you really need to take into consideration that Mueller did not say, I'm not bringing charges of obstruction because I couldn't establish that it happened. What he said is, I'm not even going to make a decision. And then Barr stepped in and, surprising no one, said the president didn't obstruct justice because this very person straight up already sent this lengthy memo saying that a president can't obstruct justice so it's just it's just it is moving rise to anyone that he didn't recommend charges there and it's gonna be really
Starting point is 02:32:54 it came as a surprise to the entire mainstream media Rachel Maddow cried huge numbers of people were upset by this like I don't like this because the memory holding and pretending that all of these people weren't saying the whole time. I don't feel like I'm pretending about that. I just didn't actually hear your word. What in pretending? Memory-holing. Okay. What the media will do
Starting point is 02:33:15 when they get something wrong, or just an individual person will do when they get something wrong, where they try and take something and they just memory-hole it. They just, oh, don't think about that anymore. Don't think about it. They've been saying for years. It's been the biggest story this happened this happened muller is coming for you people have like fucking avatars like muller was a hero for tons of people he's coming for you when he releases this donald trump is fucking done and then now he releases it and the goalposts shift once again. Now it's the SDNY that's going to do it. Like it, is it, honestly, like.
Starting point is 02:33:49 Can I jump in? I want to go next. Go for it, Woody. So I try to put it on the other side and see if I, like how I would feel about it. And it's like, how would it be if Ken Starr ran a really honest campaign for a long time? Kept no leaks, no nothing, mouth closed, the whole thing. And then Ken Estar released his report to Janet Reno, who summarized it in a day or two and said,
Starting point is 02:34:12 Clinton's innocent. I don't think that the red team would see that and go, oh, I guess I was wrong this whole time. Janet Reno, who by the way, in a hypothetical situation, was just hired because she was critical of Ken Starr she said it's fine, so I'm not even, like I used to be more pro-Trump
Starting point is 02:34:31 I'm not even on Trump's team at this point like, I think he's done a pretty shit job what has he passed other than giving billionaires tax cuts and huge corporations tax cuts like, I'm not a fan of him at this point.
Starting point is 02:34:49 Oh, sorry. Yeah, I hear you. Yeah. They're saying to wrap up politics in the conversation. I just think the first hour was politics and we've been doing politics for a while. We can do a whole...
Starting point is 02:35:06 You're talking about politics for an hour? It probably wasn't an hour. It was probably like 40 minutes. I just don't want to get too much. But anyway, I hope they release the entire thing and it's all out there. Well, the House Judiciary Committee just voted to give Nadler the
Starting point is 02:35:21 authorization to subpoena the full report, but there's fucking no way that Barr is going to do that without putting up a fight first. Yeah, I'd like to see the full report. I feel like I've been waiting forever to wait until the facts were out there, and I still haven't gotten the facts. That's why I'm not saying anything through this whole conversation
Starting point is 02:35:41 that you guys are having. It's because we still haven't gotten any of the final findings. I don't see this. I don't understand that because there are so many established facts already right now, right in front of you. I don't know how that couldn't alarm some people because it just confuses me. Because everything that I said about and what he said about Manafort and Don Jr. and Stone and WikiLeaks and the entire Russian operation, one of the people that I remember the last
Starting point is 02:36:29 time I was on here, you kind of scoffed at the idea of it happening. And you asked me like, what was my evidence? I said, I saw like, just go in social media and scroll through the Trump trend and you can see. It's not that I don't think that it happened. It's that I think that the influence of it has been largely overstated they spent you know they had their troll farms and everything they spent maybe 20 grand on Facebook ads the the Clinton campaign and the Trump campaign well the Clinton campaign more they spent tens of millions on social media the Trump campaign spent millions on social media and they had what they did they had bots they had you know astroturfing they had
Starting point is 02:37:03 well I think it was one in five of those bots was pro-clinton they were dude he was trying to create a horrible environment in this country where people are at each other's throats here we are and he's like one of the goals see my facebook feed i'm sorry yeah all those boomers yeah one of the goals was to sow discord in the american public and disrupt the conversation. But they very explicitly had a goal of propping up Donald Trump and denigrating Hillary Clinton with the secondary goal of sowing discord. They probably assumed like most everybody else did at some point that he wasn't going to win. And they were going to throw so much shit at Hillary that it would have totally invalidated any mandate that she might have had as soon as she took office.
Starting point is 02:37:45 Trump as a president has done a ton of things that aren't helpful for Russia. Well, Putin himself, Putin literally himself said, of course I prefer Trump be president. Oh, definitely. Well, I would no doubt that because she's way more hawkish. Probably is.
Starting point is 02:38:01 She wanted to impose a no-fly zone in Syria. Well, I mean... Trump's only hawkish verbally. He wanted to impose a no-fly zone in Syria. Trump's only hawkish verbally. He doesn't actually... He gets credit for being anti-war a little bit, but he doesn't actually do shit. Like I said earlier, he'll tweet about how he's going to get us out of Syria, and then he does fucking nothing. He tweets both ways.
Starting point is 02:38:20 It's hard to gauge where he stands by his tweets. He'll tweet, my big red button's better than North Korea's big red button, right? That's pretty hawkish. But he didn't press it. I feel like we're all like, I don't know. I'm just so cynical about all of it now that none of these people seemingly have the power to get us out of these wars and to stop foreign intervention. Like Trump ran on like get us out of these places where nothing's getting done, nothing's getting done. And then now he's got a lot of his advisors being like in his ear, well, you got to go to Venezuela.
Starting point is 02:38:55 You got to go to Venezuela and intervene there. What's going to happen? Oh, there's a perfectly good region that you could destabilize even further. That's my biggest thing now. Yeah, and Iran, trying to get us to invade Iran and stuff. It serves no interest of the American people. Trump's negotiating style is different than President's past. And I don't want to come on hating on the guy because it's just different.
Starting point is 02:39:21 But he lies. He blusters. He blusters is a better way to say it. He negotiates like a goose charging he doesn't want to fight a goose doesn't want to fight a bull but you know he goes up against it like he does want to trump does that all the time he told mexico that we were going to close down the border this week now he says ah maybe a year he just delayed it by a year that was that was a goose attack which is to say not attacking just pretending it was like and that's what i a goose attack which is to say not attacking just pretending it wanted to like and that's what i hate about all these like yeah like yeah yeah all these neocon
Starting point is 02:39:50 like bootlickers where he'll say something like you know we got to take care of venezuela and then suddenly he's back in the good graces of the ben shapiros and the bill crystals and the john pod horatzes and all the neoconservatives. And it's like, it's just frustrating. His words don't carry the same weight that like previous presidents do. Not nobody, like all the previous presidents. Because he just says things that he doesn't follow through on more so than other presidents did.
Starting point is 02:40:20 Like ludicrous stuff too. Like really, really ludicrous. Some of it, the little Trump thing, it boggles my mind how he doesn't get in like more troublerous stuff too like really really ludicrous some of it it so the little trump thing it boggles my mind how he doesn't get in like more trouble for stuff remember when he promised middle cut middle class tax cuts like a week before the midterms and everyone was like congress isn't even in session like how how is that even a thing he didn't care and then tomorrow ah did i say that weird and like that, like, that's, he does that. And even then, like, those tax cuts, like, sure, it gave the middle class, like, some crumbs.
Starting point is 02:40:51 But it was really just the fucking. Oh, these were tax cuts that didn't happen. This was right before the midterms. Oh, this was just a totally new one. He promised a 10% tax cut. He promised a 10% tax cut before the election. So he had, like, nine, it was actually 11 days. I know what it was.
Starting point is 02:41:03 It was 11 days to follow through on another tax cut. And all the Republicans were like, dude, we haven't even started on this. Like, this is not a thing. And it was just a thing that just a lie he put out there to get votes. You know, I may be wrong about a lot of shit. Like, I really do try and adapt my view. That's why I'm not nearly as pro Trump. I'm not pro Trump at all anymore at this point.
Starting point is 02:41:32 Like, I just see him as a I want to believe he'll get us out of these wars but i don't know there's a bunch of things i like i like he's um we're gonna be in these wars for the rest of our lives it's so fucking ridiculous though it's never we're not it's never gonna didn't jared pass something good on jail like didn't he do some sort of jail reform? They did the First Step Act, and it was a good first step. I'm not against. I like the things he does that I like, you know? He banned my bump stock, dick.
Starting point is 02:41:57 You had a bump stock? I used to. That was so funny. Like, for eight years, people were like, Obama's taking our guns, and then Trump passes more gun control than Obama did in eight years with the bump stop thing. And the same people are like, yeah, I guess I could see the point.
Starting point is 02:42:12 Hutch, this is a big deal too. Typically when they pass a gun ban, they pass the sale of that thing. You can't sell 30-round magazines anymore. You can't sell assault rifles. Trump banned the ownership of it. If you have it, you need to burn it. You are now a criminal
Starting point is 02:42:28 because you have this thing. It's like a year later, too. Like a year and a half after the Las Vegas shooting. It took him a while. Do you have any guns, Hutch? No, I want one, though. I do. What are you looking at? This is something Kyle can help with greatly. I would want a powerful
Starting point is 02:42:44 handgun, not like a shotgun or anything like is it for home defense yeah yeah and and i don't know what the fuck is going to happen in like 10 years so yeah you want a shotgun you want a shotgun maybe something like that but esme doesn't want a gun in the house and so it's kind of hard to you should take her shooting and kind of get her acclimated to it and then move it towards that because people get way too intimidated by shooting ranges. It's way more structured than you think. If somebody's goofing around with it, there's not a, hey, settle down atmosphere.
Starting point is 02:43:12 It's a, you're out, you're gone, no, no. Or they just embarrass the heck out of you and you feel like you're a misbehaving seven-year-old again. They should embarrass the hell out of you. Guns are no joke. I don't know if they would let me get a gun because I'm open about smoking pot. I'm pretty sure if they catch that
Starting point is 02:43:31 in former fashion. Yeah, that's the thing. Oh, really? That's the thing. Yeah, all right. Then don't. I'm pretty sure I'm not going to get it. That's what they did in Missouri.
Starting point is 02:43:40 In Missouri, they just legalized medical marijuana, but it's absurd. If legalized medical marijuana, but it's absurd. If you get medical marijuana, you have to give up your Second Amendment rights. You can no longer own a gun at all. And they don't do that with alcohol? Exactly. I don't understand. That doesn't make any sense. What's more dangerous with a gun?
Starting point is 02:44:00 It's never like pothead and friend. Is it because it's a Schedule I substance still? That's got to be why, right? It must be. Yeah, you're agreeing on when you buy the gun, you're saying that you don't smoke pot when you fill out the form. Do you have to check a box that says you've never taken any hallucinogens too? I think it says, I don't remember the verbiage,
Starting point is 02:44:18 but it may just be illicit drugs. Hypothetically, mushrooms, fentanyl go to crystal meth are these all bad toad venom you're recommending a handgun for someone in hutch's situation whereas is girl depends on the price range depends the price range honestly like like take the your favorite gun from a fucking movie like lethal weapon go get a beretta m92 right like if you like uh you know if you if you want something like the 44 ones like the big the big like a big revolver get a ruger uh get it like a ruber a ruger uh super blackhawk or super redhawk you know you can get a 44 magnum for like a couple hundred three four hundred dollars and it's a big powerful
Starting point is 02:44:55 fucking heavy duty 44 i thought it would be more expensive than a couple hundred dollars no i get a not if you get a ruger and it's a revolvers are a little bit cheaper anyway but those aren't the the the super blackhawk super redhawks whatever those are single actionuger and it's a revolvers are a little bit cheaper. Wait, but those aren't the, the, the super black Hawks, super red Hawks, whatever. Those are single action, right? Uh,
Starting point is 02:45:08 one's a single action. One's a double action and it's escaping me right now. Which is which? Okay. I want to say single action. Hutch means you have to pull back the hammer to fire it and double action. You can pull a trigger. Sorry.
Starting point is 02:45:20 I would have made that assumption too. I don't like shooting guns, but I recognize that the need for a gun might come into play later on. It's not going to break my heart if I can't get one. I don't think they would let me get a gun. I just don't. They absolutely will
Starting point is 02:45:37 if you want to, but just keep it on the down low or whatever. Just do everything legally as far as the gun buying and everything goes. Keep your private life private or whatever, especially since you're in California. But a shotgun's a way to go for home defense anyway. Like Bill Burr says,
Starting point is 02:45:53 it's got a nice spread. But also, it's more control. They have shotgun rounds for pistols too, don't they? Don't they have like... They do, but you can do the math in your head. There's less shit going out the barrel uh than there isn't a shotgun that you can get there's there's a couple of handguns that shoot you can still capacitate someone even if you
Starting point is 02:46:13 didn't want to kill if you hit them the issue is hitting them with a pistol and in real life hitting something with a pistol that's not moving as hard hitting something that's moving with a pistol is very hard but shotguns are kind of made for that kind of thing. Like, like, you know, you could, you could throw a baseball at me and I'll, I mean, I think about, I literally did a video where a pitching machine shot baseballs at me and I,
Starting point is 02:46:32 you know, I shot them before they could hit me. Um, it's made for that. You were, you were able to, to shoot them as they were coming. Oh yeah.
Starting point is 02:46:39 Kyle's very good at this though. That's probably Kyle's best gun discipline is the shotgun. Yeah. But, but I mean, you know, a little practice and you get good at it too but you know a guy down the hallway who's like methed out and coming at you with a machete it'd be real rough if you shot six shots of your 44 magnum and it was like that scene in pulp fiction where they just he looks behind him and goes, that was a fucking miracle. Yeah, it was. Now let's chop this bitch up. Did you guys see the trailer
Starting point is 02:47:11 for Quentin Tarantino's new movie? No. Once Upon a Time in Hollywood, I think. Does it look good? Yeah, it looks really good. Did you guys see the Joker trailer? Yeah, I saw that too. I did see the Joker trailer.
Starting point is 02:47:24 Joaquin Phoenix is such a good actor. I yeah i saw that too that trailer joaquin phoenix is such a good actor i can't stop thinking about that trailer i'm so excited for that movie after seeing that it looks dark as fuck it looks like the sequel is going to be the good part though you know what i mean like it looks like there's going to be a lot of build up in the first one like from what i saw in the first one there's a lot of just a weird guy and then maybe like like maybe it's like 90 a weird guy slowly breaking down and you know his mother's gonna die like that's gonna be the last straw the final straw for this guy and then 10 of the joker and then the sequel will be like the joker movie for for real that's what i took from
Starting point is 02:47:58 the trailer the guy who's directing it is not who you'd expect. It's Todd Phillips, the guy who did the Hangover movies in old school. Really? He'd only done comedies before this. He didn't do the Iron Giant, did he? Am I crazy? I mean, old school is a great movie, so I trust him with it. That's a good one. You know, The Grinch
Starting point is 02:48:19 That Stole Christmas was good. I'll trust that dude. That was a good movie too. I like The Grinch That Stole Christmas. I don't know if I want to do a Joker. The Jim Carrey version or the animated version? The animated one, I heard that didn't get good reviews. I liked the Jim Carrey version, yeah. I thought it was funny.
Starting point is 02:48:34 I thought Tim Burton did that one. He may have. I always think of Tim Burton. Unless there's a big spider walking around, I never think of Tim Burton. Joaquin Phoenix is, to me like one of the best actors alive he's like her and the master and he was like the one of the best parts of gladiator and uh uh you were never really there that's that was great you were never really there i haven't
Starting point is 02:48:58 heard i haven't seen that one i need to watch it's real disturbing and he's like so good in that role too i talked all right now now here's the interesting thing, and I really like this when actors completely morph their bodies for a role. Look at him, and you were never really there, and he is like hulking, not like cut. Yeah, he's heavy. He did like a dirty bulk. He's thick.
Starting point is 02:49:21 He's real thick. Christian Bale in Vice, like that kind of chunky. He got real big, and he looks strong and powerful, but he's not looks he's real christian bale and vice like that kind of chunky he got real big and he looks strong and powerful but he's not cut at all and then look at him in joker and he's like super skinny like vertebrae showing yeah vertebrae are showing in his back when he bends over and stuff like that like like really really clearly um i i appreciate that in my actors like when uh in tombstone when um what's his name did that for doc holiday i i he lost like 40 pounds or something like that i really like that um i've forgotten about how good he was in gladiator until hutch said it right now oh yeah he was that guy what was that little monologue he gives he's like yeah he doesn't i don't have
Starting point is 02:50:01 the traits you admire but but I have ambition. All that kind of stuff. One of the best parts of that movie. Ridley Scott is making a fucking sequel to Gladiator actually. The next movie he's making is Gladiator 2. Does it have Russell Crowe in it still? I don't know. I don't think so. There was a proposed sequel that was
Starting point is 02:50:20 literally almost about to happen that involved Maximus Decimus Meridius being a time traveler yeah traveling to the modern day and yeah modern day gladiator that would have been nuts i saw that i read all about that that even make it past the conception thank god they didn't do that thank god they didn't well he shows up in a robe with a sword and then we'll kind of just fill the rest in i'm maximus but i had a lot of hope for jared leto playing joker i thought initially like he was i was really excited because i thought he was like
Starting point is 02:50:51 it needs to be someone who's kind of weird he's he's pretty weird actor and um yeah but then that and i didn't even hate the first still that they showed him when he had like the the tattoos and stuff probably a little overboard but i didn't like. Um, and then it was just such a disappointment to me when suicide squad came out and it just felt like he was just trying. Yeah. They're completely rebooting that. It was, he was trying way too hard.
Starting point is 02:51:13 I saw suicide squad and I, I don't watch many superhero movies, but it was bad. Yeah. They're completely rebooting it. Ha ha ha tattoo on there. That took me out of it every time. Cause it's like a guy a joker
Starting point is 02:51:26 personality kind of guy wouldn't have semi-ironic tattoos like that yeah um they're they're completely rebooting the uh that the the suicide squad because i know yeah james gunn uh because i know will smith doesn't want to be a part of it anymore and they got idris elba he's gonna he's gonna take over that role better. Better. Much better actor. Much better actor. Tom Hardy was originally supposed to play the main military guy in Suicide Squad and then he had a scheduling conflict or something.
Starting point is 02:51:54 Did you think Will Smith did a bad job though? I was okay with what Will Smith did. I think that Will Smith does a bad job most of the time, frankly. I'm just not a big Will Smith fan anymore. I just don't think he's strong. I thought he was the best part of that movie. He was, but it was a shit movie. Him and Harley Quinn I thought were actually pretty good.
Starting point is 02:52:09 I liked the crocodile guy. I tried to watch Suicide Squad twice and I never made it to the end. Yeah, Will Smith has like three or four good movies if you don't count bad boys. And a lot of times I just feel like it's like Will Smith if he three or four good movies if you don't count bad boys. And a lot of the times, I just feel like it's like Will Smith
Starting point is 02:52:27 if he were a cop. Or, oh, this is Will Smith if he were that... Oh, he's played a cop so many goddamn times. Independence Day, he was a fighter pilot. It was like, if Will Smith were a fighter pilot, it'd be like
Starting point is 02:52:43 this. Oh-uh! You did not shoot that green shit at me! Oh, come on. I think Hancock is underappreciated. Oh, I seem to be the only person who really likes that movie. I like that. It was all right. If people don't know Hancock, in a nutshell, it's a superhero who's not a really great guy.
Starting point is 02:53:02 He even tries to do good things, but he's a drunk and he breaks as much as he fixes. And that's the first scene. I won't even get into the second act of it. But I enjoyed it. I thought it was really neat and a different take on a guy with superpowers. Yeah. That's like James Gunn's new movie coming out, Brightburn, where it's like that evil Superman. Did you guys see the trailer for that one?
Starting point is 02:53:24 No. No, I haven't. It's like the same exact kind of plot from Superman where he falls out of the sky and then he starts to discover that he has powers. But then this movie imagines, what if the kid was just totally evil? So they turn it into like a horror movie almost.
Starting point is 02:53:37 That's better. I like that. You have my attention. I'm glad that James Gunn guy got brought back from death. We need more people who get pilloried in public for nonsense. Taylor, do you recall what he did wrong? Come on, Donald Sterling. You can do it.
Starting point is 02:53:53 Oh, Jesus. He made a bunch of- Kevin Spacey, you can climb that mountain. You know you want him back? Michael Jackson? Well, no. Kevin Spacey tried to come back with his little YouTube video where he was in character. These guys loved it. I think Kyle loved it. I don't want to speak for Taylor his little YouTube video where he was in character these guys loved it
Starting point is 02:54:05 I think Kyle loved it I don't want to speak for Taylor I loved it because it was so tone deaf they did not read the room at all for that one I was wildly entertained and look I don't like fucking pedophiles
Starting point is 02:54:21 but he's not technically a pedophile by the definition of pedophilia I don't like sexual assaulters. Now, you may have heard that I'm a pedophile. The fact remains, I'm going to pull up dictionary.com. Darian Webster, I am merely a ebepibophile, which makes me a good person. Petterass, right? That 14-year-old had grass on the field, so to speak.
Starting point is 02:54:45 That's exactly right. As they say in Gaffney, play ball. The deal is, if you like kids that are post-puberty, you're technically not a pedophile. Now, you're not a good guy, fucking 15-year-olds, but you need to be into... But you're in Germany. Maybe. But you need to be into... Unless you're in Germany! Maybe.
Starting point is 02:55:06 But you need to be into little kids that don't look like they've gone into any grown-up transition yet. The term has kind of taken on its own colloquial usage, I think. It has. For any underage... But I don't think that's fair when we're calling someone a pedophile, because it has a lot of weight behind it. Michael Jackson may or may not have been a pedophile. Wow, strong words. Look, we talked about this a little bit before we started recording.
Starting point is 02:55:31 I'm still on the fence on that motherfucker. I'm not on the fence at all. What was the angle with that documentary? Because every documentary has an angle. Was it to show that he was or to show he wasn't? No, it's to show that he was. There's two older men now recounting their stories. Like my age.
Starting point is 02:55:47 But they go into really graphic detail. Really graphic. Four hours and two of those hours are graphically detailing in real specific. Child molestation. Yeah, the actual acts themselves. So it was actually really hard to watch that it was really hard oh i came twice um yeah it was it was absolutely hard to watch it was weird only because of our sponsor blue chew yeah yeah absolutely a little blue chew you can get through
Starting point is 02:56:20 without that his refractory period would have been too long. Oh, I was reading more stuff. There's no way I could have finished twice without a blue tube. No, honestly, it took me four sittings to get through the whole thing because of specifically the child molestation descriptions. Like when I start picturing, because they show the kid, the old footage of these kids, and then the man who was that child was like, yeah, he'd have me rub his nipples. And he really liked that.
Starting point is 02:56:51 And he'd have me get on all fours at the corner of the bed and bend over and show him my asshole. Because he liked to finish looking at that. That stuff was fucked up. Hutch, don't interrupt him. Kyle, was there more? I'm almost done. And so is Woody. That stuff was really fucked up to listen to,
Starting point is 02:57:09 but I thought the most disturbing part of it was when... The underwear? No, like the length that he went to to groom these kids and the manipulation that he employed to get these kids to do these things for him, I thought was like... And then it makes you pissed off at their parents, too. They interview the moms of the kids, too.
Starting point is 02:57:31 Little Billy, don't tell your mother. By the end of it, you're like, you can't help but be a little bit pissed off at these parents. Like, why would you let your kid... The parents were clearly dumb as fuck, right? Wait, were they dumb as fuck? Or if you like wait were they dumb as fuck or did they did they kind of know what was happening both of the kids dads killed themselves it's debatable whether they knew what was happening then it's debatable um one of the mothers one
Starting point is 02:57:55 of the mothers is like she's looking at the goddamn camera she's like you know and you know bill i can't remember the kid's name let's call him billy because that's funny you know billy went and testified for Michael. Then Michael said that the loan he had given us for that house was just a gift now. I know that looks bad. But he was just a giving guy. I'm not watching that. That's going to make me sad if it's a whole documentary about kids getting along. It's a very sad documentary.
Starting point is 02:58:26 Here's the thing, though. Both of those guys, their careers are on the downturn big time. Especially the one guy. He used to be the choreographer for NSYNC and Britney Spears, the biggest names in music, and now not so much. He acquired that fame due to Michael Jackson's influence and pushing him to the right people. Hey, this guy knows what he's doing. This kid can dance.
Starting point is 02:58:49 You should hire him in your dance group. And then, oh, yeah, you should hire him to train you to dance. And Michael helped this guy get a career, but now not so much. making this documentary now that he can no longer like take gain from his friendship with michael even though michael's been dead for a few years now it seemed it seemed like he's been cashing in on michael his whole life to some extent now that doesn't mean he wasn't molested i just don't know i just think it's hard to believe someone who's lied twice under testimony you know that two out of three times he said absolutely not he didn't do anything and never never never and then i have a question not not being in touch with any of this
Starting point is 02:59:32 yeah did he have proof for anything did he have nothing when he said is all his own word just changing it's all his own word there's no evidence whatsoever and there was evidence he could have kept you know if he had ever thought that, like, maybe someday I'll tell the truth about this, there was evidence he could have kept. Like, he tells this story about Michael. Would he have the foresight as a kid? Yeah, maybe, maybe not.
Starting point is 02:59:54 He was 16 when Michael tried to, or 14 or 15 or 16 or something like that, when Michael tried to fuck him in the ass. But they didn't have, like, cell phone video back then or nothing. Could have kept that underwear. The thing that bothers me about like, well, no, the underwear was a piece of evidence, though, I think. No, Michael told him. He said, Michael said to throw the evidence away. Yeah.
Starting point is 03:00:16 So all of these sexual assault things usually happen, all of them usually, happen in an environment where there's low proof. There's no witnesses people keep it on the download when any kind of like a biological droppings would be gone and it's biological dropping i don't know i wanted like a collective term for semen loads well not just that like the cells under your fingernails from a scratching, a scab that you might have left over, a bruise that you might have gotten. DNA. DNA.
Starting point is 03:00:49 All of those things, you know, five years goes by, you've washed that underwear hundreds of times. Michael had him throw it away. Throw it away in this case. But it's rough because you can't just believe every accuser. Otherwise, that becomes a weapon that people can use yeah and i think you need i think you need to listen to every accuser well that sure sure i i think that i agree with you you have to critically listen but uh you know it's just rough because there's rarely any evidence in this so it's
Starting point is 03:01:20 difficult to figure out what the truth is. Yeah, I honestly don't know. I'm absolutely on the fence because I don't think it would be fair for me to say, yeah, Michael Jackson was a pedophile because I have no evidence of that. I'll say this about Michael Jackson, and there's plenty of evidence to this. Michael Jackson was a weird, fucking,
Starting point is 03:01:37 ghoulish-looking motherfucker who lived a bizarre fucking lifestyle and made some of the greatest hits of all time. I mean, he was abused by his own father. I don't know if it was sexual abuse, though, was it? I mean, he was beaten pretty bad. There's rumors of all kinds of shit. Like, you just don't know.
Starting point is 03:01:56 Like, I've heard Rogan talk about how, like, the doctor said that Michael had been chemically castrated. And I don't know if that's true or not, but even if he had been, he could have shot test. So, like, maybe that's a non-issue he does sound like one of those kids you know the old days that would castrate boys uh so that they would keep that oh castrato is it called a falsetto word yeah castrato back in the day they used to castrate little boys and so they could sing better and uh yeah yeah they really used to do that like and if you listen to recordings of them on youtube they're not they're definitely not good enough to warrant castration yeah some of them were come on that's there was a guy just fucking slaying it in the and another thing is apparently those castratos got some pussy
Starting point is 03:02:45 because their little baby dicks could still get hard, apparently, and women liked them for their voices and because they couldn't get pregnant. And so it was almost like a more accepted thing to let your wife go hang out with the castratos. Didn't they come out with some study that said that chemical castration doesn't even really help all that much with pedophilia because it's more about the act of
Starting point is 03:03:08 ownership and domination than it is or manipulation just feeling like I thought I read some stuff your coming across as our pedophilia expert tell us more I try not to wade into the mindset of a pedophile but a casual pedophile
Starting point is 03:03:21 a pedophilia pedophile I a pedophiliac no like i've heard that like like chemical castration i don't it's not a one-time thing like you have to you have to go back and get more injections or how does that even yeah so you go back to the doctor they inject you with something or give you pills or whatever and it basically takes any sex drive you have and erases it and so but if you don't go back and get more pills your sex drive is going to come back and you're going to end up offending and hurting a child i haven't you see that movie about alan turing and uh you know the guy who like broke the nazis enigma code machine yeah the imitation game that's a great movie you watch this whole movie
Starting point is 03:04:02 and it's great he does a great job acting and uh and you get to the very end and like i want to say maybe even in text on the screen they're like oh by the way like two years later he got caught with a guy outside a bar by a cop they sentenced him to chemical castration and then he killed himself like a year later a poisoned apple that guy was a how's snow white of him that's pretty cool. I have a question about Game of Thrones. We were on castration. So
Starting point is 03:04:32 exactly what do is it Varys? Is that his name? Varys. And the other guy who's Reek Theon. Yeah. What do they have left? We don't know.
Starting point is 03:04:46 Oh, really? I thought everyone but me knew. No, no, no. In the show, they say that Varys was cut root and stem, which I think means everything is removed. He has nothing. Theon got his dick cut off,
Starting point is 03:05:04 but I don't know about his balls. That's actually worse. If they're going to cut one off, just take them both. It would be worse to have a sex drive and have no penis. You would lose your muscles and your deep voice. I still want those. Your deep voice will stay.
Starting point is 03:05:20 Sorry, Hutch. What were you saying? They didn't take his balls, though. The reason they took his dick specifically is because it was his one prized possession. Apparently, Hutch. What were you saying? No, they didn't take his balls, though. The reason they took his dick specifically is because it was like his one prized possession. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Apparently, it was impressive. I think he even complimented it shortly before he took it. He showed his dick.
Starting point is 03:05:30 You see his dick in the first season, and it's not. Well, they couldn't. Or they could put a prosthetic cock on the actor. I think. I'm not sure. I think Taylor might have a giant cock. That has to be the 21st reference he's made to a television penis that he found unimpressive. Unworthy. Yeah.
Starting point is 03:05:51 He's like, that guy was running in Oz, and it was flapping the way that little dicks flap. No, the guy from Oz. You know what I'm talking about. No, the guy from Oz. Wait, I'm talking about the guy who was also in NC NCIS or something like the half Mexican guy or something. And when he was getting paraded to the cell, he genuinely had a teeny little dick. I don't remember his dick at all, but I just somehow my shitty, shitty memory has been cataloging all the times Taylor was like, that dick wasn't very good at all. I'm like, what is his frame of reference?
Starting point is 03:06:25 Taylor might have a fucking baby's arm schlong hanging off there and and every time the truth is i just hang out at a lot of bath houses it's it's entirely possible that i'm on target with this taylor back me up you you may be we'll never see because i'm not oh no i wasn't asking for a display i was just saying like he has never never watched like a game of thrones scene and been like that guy had a dong on him am i right no no they're all baby size in taylor's mindset okay i gotta go uh make dinner guys thanks for the invite good talk and uh good chatting show yeah yeah yeah i'll argue with you on twitter later about some i'm sure that's coming down Thanks for the invite. Good talk. Good chatting. I'll argue with you on Twitter later about some... I'm sure that's coming down.
Starting point is 03:07:10 Bye, guys. Have a good night. Later. Connor said to Khabib, your wife is a towel. Then he posted that image of Khabib getting married and his wife is in
Starting point is 03:07:27 this. Do you happen to have the I can show people? I'll pull that up. I'm fixing the layout. It's so easy to find it too. It's great. I'll just link you to the TMZ Sports article.
Starting point is 03:07:47 Then Connor tweets out a picture of khabib at his wedding oh i saw this with his wife the towel and i mean i mean you can't you can't disagree it really does look like your wife's towel and not even one of the good ones it's like the kind you get at a Marriott in a two-bed room. But it's all scratchy. There's cum stains on that. And it's not even yours. Oh, jeez. And of course, they're taking the moral high ground
Starting point is 03:08:18 or saying that he's being anti-Islam. And maybe he is. Fuck it. If you think he is, maybe he is. Like, fuck it. If you think he is, then he is. I didn't take it that way. I took it as, he's fucking fun at your wife because she's wearing a fucking towel on her head at your wedding.
Starting point is 03:08:33 She can't even see her own wedding. She has no idea. Were the flowers pretty? Oh, yes, flowers wonderful. Were my bridesmaids dresses nice? Oh, so nice. None of that existed. How did the food taste?
Starting point is 03:08:48 I didn't get any. It smelled good. It was a good food, but you've reached your daily three-question quota. Jesus. No more for you. And, of course, Khabib claps back, and he's like, oh, well, you're a rapist, and posts a picture of Conor Greger with some lady in a bathroom who he was not in the process of raping, by the way.
Starting point is 03:09:10 She looked like a very willing participant. Oh, were they in the middle of having sex? No, he was grabbing her by the pussy, you know, Trump style. Hell yeah. Was he really? I didn't even notice that. And when you're a two belt champion, they let you do it. That was really good um did did you see his rosé commercial yeah it was a like wine he did a commercial for rosé wine he did an april fool's joke where he fake he fake made he's like conor mcgregor vineyard vineyards we've got
Starting point is 03:09:42 we've got rosé now and he's like going through that's a little more scottish and he's got like like it's like him with rosé going like like like smelling it and like talking up his rosé and how it's made with the finest grapes in all of ireland and and then at the end he's like oh i'm just fucking with you and then he like shows up his actual whiskey or whatever it was it was actually pretty funny we all got a laugh it. I didn't even catch Connor's right hand there. It's up her skirt, isn't it? I thought she was wearing panties and he's just grabbing her by the pussy.
Starting point is 03:10:11 Can you link that? You can link that. If you scroll down on the Kyle's link. Ah, great. Okay. See, this isn't even the full picture. Oh, is there more? Click the picture. Can I is there more? Okay.
Starting point is 03:10:25 Oh, yeah. Click the picture. Can I click it? Because I'm showing people. Better yet, I'll look myself. And it's blurry as fuck. Like, there's no nudity. His hand is just in her crotch.
Starting point is 03:10:38 Oh, oh, oh. I think I can show this. Yeah, I think that's legit. So, yeah. Like, frankly, from my standpoint, that was not much of a comeback from Khabib because Connor has these pending sexual assault charges, which are not rape, just to be clear. And who knows if he even did it.
Starting point is 03:10:57 But this image has nothing to do with the supposed sexual assault charges habib the picture connor tweeted is khabib's wife you might be lacking some context kyle that makes this tweet better um so what the tweet says i'm going to read it for everyone rapist you are rapist that part let's set aside you are a hypocrite who is not responsible for your actions justice we find you we will see this woman is suing conor mcgregor because he's not paying child support because he fucked her on the side even though he's with d who is his actual i don't know if they're actually married they might be married now the girlfriend yeah d is
Starting point is 03:11:37 the girl who stuck by him since he was on welfare back in ireland and this girl is he's stepping out on his kind of marriage thing and he fucked this girl apparently she has uh his baby and she's a paternity test we know for sure she has sued him to get a paternity test and he's dodging it okay conjecture conjecture fair anyway i would say you look at this picture and i'm not showing the part where he's got his hand between her legs and this is probably something I'm not showing the part where he's got his hand between her legs, and this is probably something that's sensitive in the Connor household. Maybe in the household. It's likely.
Starting point is 03:12:13 I'll admit that. Definitely likely. However, I doubt Khabib's wife has Twitter or is allowed to have a phone. So no problem there. I mean, who really hit hardest? I literally didn't even know khabib was married like he keeps that he keeps his private life private i keep her private yeah he did like it um not this chick on the side but connor's a wife person i don't know i have to look and see if they're married i mean she comes into the ring after victories and they celebrate and he brought his kid in and held him up to the audience, right?
Starting point is 03:12:46 Like Simba. Like Simba, yeah, yeah. Khabib took his wife under wraps, literally. So that's why I didn't know anything about Khabib's family. Yeah, I had no knowledge that Khabib had a family or that he did anything but wrestle bears and beat people up. Post-fight, Khabib needs people who can fight not girls right he's got another fight coming after his fights yeah can't have your woman and your kid in there
Starting point is 03:13:13 i'm really enjoying the habib connor like beef on twitter and how mean and nasty and personal that it has gotten and i hope that continues and there's a rematch win loser draw i want to see it i want to see it again. But, you know, we've talked so much about how the lightweight division is just a fucking shit show, and there's so many people that are more deserving, frankly, than Conor of that rematch. Not of a rematch, but of fighting Khabib.
Starting point is 03:13:38 But then Khabib's been doing a shitty thing and tacking on three months to his nine-month suspicion and being like, I'm out a year when he's perfectly healthy. Yeah yeah i'm a bit of a hypocrite on that i really like it when my fighters fight and somehow i'm giving habiba pass i don't i can't explain it you would think he picked the day after he was like free to fight you know he'd be like dana i'm free to fight on whenever the nine months runs out you know october October 2nd, that's the first day I'm legally allowed to fight. Give me Tony Ferguson, Max Holloway, Dustin Poirier. I don't care.
Starting point is 03:14:11 Anybody, just line them up. What I would expect from him is for him to say, I need three months after Ramadan, or maybe even four. I don't know if he's skinny or something like that after Ramadan. Well, he works out at night during that. I know, but if you can't eat all day, you're not your best you. I think we know if he's skinny or something like that after Ramadan. Well, he works out at night during that. I know, but if you can't eat all day, you're not your best you. I think we can agree
Starting point is 03:14:28 on that. So typically, I want to say historically, he fights like, you know, he does like a 12-week training camp and it ends when Ramadan ends. The training camp starts when Ramadan ends. So if that's the schedule, then this is just normal for him.
Starting point is 03:14:44 If he's taking extra time, then I'm a hypocrite for forgiving him because I don't like it when other fighters do it. I don't even know when Ramadan is, so I can't really speak on it. I think it's in the spring. Which would mean that it's a moot point, right? Because his suspension should be running out in the fall. I don't know anything about that stuff. Oh, June 4th.
Starting point is 03:15:06 So June is the six months. He says he'll fight in September? July, August, September. That's three months after Ramadan. Yeah, a training camp is 12 weeks. So I think that that's... Now I'm forgiving him again. Yeah, I don't know, man. It's not how I would prefer my champion to conduct himself.
Starting point is 03:15:24 But I want to see him fight again you know he's supposed to be the baddest motherfucker on the planet let's get out there and prove it John Jones certainly has no issue doing that Pika Grahams or no he's like yeah when's my next fight he came back hungry oh yeah I know it's next week
Starting point is 03:15:40 but when's the one after that well just let's just assume that I'm coming back dude if jones was serious about fighting fighting stipe which he's not doing um i love that i love that he was willing to go to heavyweight fight stipe and and make some noise that's incredible uh but he's also instead he's lined up for jones now is like all right, I'm fighting this pansy. You've never heard of him, but trust me, he hits really hard. If I can somehow use my
Starting point is 03:16:09 eight and a half inch range to stay away from this killer, I swear I'm very scared. I only remember that guy because he has a tattoo of a sledgehammer on his chest. It's life size and it's very tiny.
Starting point is 03:16:27 He's a colossal... I just remember like i don't remember who he's fighting i just remember thinking god damn that man is strong he beat that other man senseless and and so like i don't know if this is a good matchup or not he just seems like one of the strongest guys we've seen uh john fight in a long fucking time diego or something like that it it's spelled like thiago but i think it's pronounced thiago okay um here's his i'm showing his picture to everyone big boy big boy yeah i want to find a picture where there's something for scale yeah look at that sledgehammer look at that he's got he's got mjolnir on his chest i wish i could see him standing next to something that i understand like so a car dude the guy in this picture anyway is perfect specimen that's impressive yeah colossal human
Starting point is 03:17:19 being um let me see what his dimensions are. That's always important to me. He is 205 pounds, 74 inches tall. So that's... 6'4". No, 6'2". 6'2". See, 6'2", but with a 76-inch reach, which is a little above average.
Starting point is 03:17:42 But what's Jon Jones' reach? He has very long 18 feet he's that uh indian dude from uh street fight yeah does he have a does this guy uh with the sledgehammer does he have a star of david on his left shoulder i doubt it i see i mean it looks like a star of david it's a six-sided star. That's a sheriff's star. I don't know. I just said that. I believed you. Maybe I was like, oh, of course.
Starting point is 03:18:13 It's a sheriff's star. It's Diego the Sheriff Santos. It does look like a star of David. I don't know. But yeah, I'm excited about that fight. I wish Khabib would get in the fucking ring. I don't know what the next event is. All I know is that I'm excited about Nunez and Holly fighting.
Starting point is 03:18:38 That's the next fight that I'm actually interested in. Excuse me. Oh, that sucks. I think that's a mismatch i want to see holly set up for a win uh did you say she had a three fight losing streak that's what it feels like i could okay be wrong it just feels like she's lost all of her fight i don't remember the last time she won like i think she just decision somebody i'm gonna look it up yeah it's possible but it just seems like it's been a rough going for her forever.
Starting point is 03:19:06 And she certainly doesn't have the sort of record that you would expect from the person you're throwing up against the champ, the person going for the belt. She can't. If you look at everybody else who gets that title shot, it's like, holy shit, they're either on a crazy hot streak winning eight or nine fights in a row, or they just blew up on social media and did a crazy hot streak winning eight or nine fights in a row or they just blew up
Starting point is 03:19:25 on like social media and did a crazy thing last fight like like what you had when dc fought uh big black she had a three fight losing streak she beat beche who is like so terrible and then she lost a cyborg and she decisioned megan anderson who i don't really know. Yeah, these are the results of someone who's sort of mid-tier, you know? Maybe I'm wrong about that. She has fought great opponents, you know? It's been real killers who have beaten her for the most part,
Starting point is 03:19:58 but you just wouldn't expect her to get that title shot. I'll watch it. I'm going to watch it, and I'm really going to root hard for Holly because I'd love her to... That'd be a massive win for her, i think she's gonna get fucking annihilated yeah yeah i i like nunez too though and i like nunez as champ you know why because she fought cyborg they're like she she even went up to cyborg's weight and fought cyborg at cyborg's weight
Starting point is 03:20:21 i am like i like it when my fighters fight i know i just forgave khabib but i like it when my fighters fight nunez fights anybody she's like i don't really care i'm the best therefore all my opponents are not as good and when a fighter says that i'm watching yeah and if you think about it like like outside the sport like if it were a street fight and someone was like oh well it doesn't matter that bill lost that other guy he was at least eight pounds heavier you'd be like so fucking what he got his ass kicked you know 10 pounds isn't that isn't that big of a thing in the scale of things in a real life sort of scenario you would never care that one guy was 10 pounds heavier maybe he's 30 pounds heavier if a if a 200 pound guy beats up on a 145 pound guy, you're like, God damn, leave him alone,
Starting point is 03:21:06 dude. But 10 pounds? Maybe she had a big lunch. Amongst 135 pound women, it's a little more. But I do hear what you're saying. She's badass who fights anyone and beats everybody. And that's
Starting point is 03:21:22 amazing. So pretty cool. I didn't think connor won the twitter thing but i might be biased you seem to think he clearly won oh yeah he won that that that that that's as personal win because he has a distinct language barrier advantage i mean it's an advantage because i like it see i for me khabib has the advantage because he writes like rapist you rapist like he has no verbs i love that guy nhl interviews that's my favorite part yes i come from the khl like for one year and they're like bubble chuck you haven't been here in 12 years how you doing you know do you like la more than atlanta it is um i'm just happy to be back in us
Starting point is 03:22:07 of a and to be playing hockey for the best league and it's like i i like that i like that i i nail yakupov his interview where he just spurgs out after beating like in the olympics or like the juniors or something like you know like like like just doesn't make any sense where they're like nail how do you feel about that win you know you got an assist there that's crazy like yeah we uh we beat canada and uh people say people says canada very much too For me, I said, look at score. All I say to them, the Canadian come say, you know, beat us. I say, look at score. When they have that language barrier, there's a certain matter of factness, funniness that comes in my head anyway.
Starting point is 03:23:02 Tony Ferguson, right? Tony Ferguson's going wild. He's kind of crazy in the head. He's the guy we talked about a week or two ago that had all those mental health breakdowns. And he's like, no one cares about you, Khabib. No one cares. It's Tony time.
Starting point is 03:23:15 He's like, what is this Tony time? It is Khabib time. Tony time. It's Khabib time. And that's not a good comeback. But to me, it was a great comeback purely because of the accent and the loose grass on English.
Starting point is 03:23:28 I loved every second of it. It's Khabib time. All you did is say what I said with your name. But it worked. It worked on me. You're actually winning me over. It is way funnier when they say it in different languages. Yeah.
Starting point is 03:23:41 Yeah, I think Connor got the best of that Twitter beef because Habib loves his wife, and she is in a towel. Meanwhile, Connor probably did fuck that lady and may have fathered a child, and he doesn't care. He's like, oh, you think that's the only one? Where's the rest of me, bitches? Do you guys want to watch? We can make a whole collage of my bitches do you want to watch this twitter video i i was laughing at this while you guys were talking yeah
Starting point is 03:24:10 yeah yeah all right um one moment i need to like pause it unmute it are you guys ready yeah ready set play yo what's up how you been hey? Hey, you're not going to believe what happened. I just pulled into Quick Trip today, and this guy says to me, Hey, do you want a free 12-pack of Heineken? I'm like, yeah, shit yeah, I'll take a 12-pack of Heineken. He says, come over here. I go over there, and he says, you can have a 12-pack of Heineken if you let me touch your dick I'm like touch my dick like what do you mean he's like well like I want to like
Starting point is 03:24:54 hold it and wrap it and pet it dude sick fuckers out there. Total sick fuckers. Be careful. Be careful. I saw that coming. Yeah, I've seen that joke told in a bunch of different ways. Man. It made me laugh. No, that's funny.
Starting point is 03:25:22 That's funny as shit. Yeah, I like those. One guy had, like like the weirdest thing. It was like, do you want a Maltese falcon? And then it was like, touch your dick for it. And then at the end, he's like petting it. And you're like, what the fuck? I was talking to my girlfriend the other day.
Starting point is 03:25:42 I was complaining about like, yeah, back when I was on Tinder, there was this one girl that just wouldn't stop. I gave her my phone number, and she kept texting me like weeks after the point. And she's like, oh, years ago on Facebook, an Indian guy that I met for like three minutes out in public once wanted to add me on Facebook, and added me and so I didn't I felt bad and so I clicked accept and then he just kept sending me for months sexy Indian messages if you know anything about Indian guys they are not as suave they'll be like you you are
Starting point is 03:26:20 very very much like this dick really very good for good for you. You will like it a lot. Let me give you a sex time. Let me shit in the street real quick and I come in and give you very, very good sex. And she was like, and I kept ignoring it and saying like, oh, that's nice. I have plans and things like that. And then one day I check into my Facebook messages and he sends me a picture of his penis and it was very very small and in the comments he said if you come to me all of this can be yours i asked her i was like please bring up the please go back in your picture so I can see
Starting point is 03:27:05 like the whole conversation. I would love to have this be a bit on the show. And she couldn't find it. But Indian guys, apparently the most sexually aggressive men on Facebook. Have you seen the subreddit called Indian people Facebook? I just pulled it up. You're, cause this happens all the time. Kyle and I apparently have seen
Starting point is 03:27:25 All the subreddits My answer to that question is never no But Taylor's like what? There's an insane people's Facebook? An Indian people's Facebook? A watch people die? A DIY? DIY but it's spelled W-H-Y
Starting point is 03:27:40 Why would you do this? Here's a really high effort like you know 100 attitude i want to see what because like the i've seen the indian people memes where it's like now vikram is no longer my best friend yes garesh is my best friend and then it's like him and garesh like shaking hands like like like they're sealing a deal. And looking at the camera. I'm not a businessman. I'm a business, man.
Starting point is 03:28:15 Trump is not my president. Neither Obama. Actually, I am from India. If you break my trust, I break your bones. Simple as shit. Oh, he's so badass. Kisses laptop webcam before bed. Good night, Mr. FBI man.
Starting point is 03:28:31 These are funny. I'm going to scroll through. I love when you guys turn me on to new funny Reddits. Because I guess my knowledge is lacking, I suppose. I've been going to dickflash.com. I've probably been there three times. No, probably four times over the past week. That's the website forum thing.
Starting point is 03:28:49 Yeah, yeah. That's the forum thing. Just looking for more stories. And I came, like, you can see before you click on them, like, how many people have responded and how big the thread is. And first of all, this is an alarmingly huge group of people for something that's straight up illegal. Is it current? it like you're not allowed like you're not looking at all the posts from 2011 forward no no this is like i when i logged in today and saw log in like i have a login when i logged into my dick black.com account
Starting point is 03:29:17 like there's new stuff every day and one of the big threads of the last few days was like, Hey, what, what, what do you guys use as your excuses to go to the doctor to get the doctor to look at your dick? And it was a whole thread of people like sharing ideas. Skin cancer, right? That works. Yeah. He's like,
Starting point is 03:29:40 one guy was like, check me out. I knew sunbathe all the time. So I shaved my pubes. And of course, razor bumps come up because I didn't use any shaving cream. But I saw that as an opportunity to go to the doctor and pretend I didn't know there were razor bumps. Once I got there, I laid down and asked her to inspect it. After she was done, I asked her to check my pee hole too because i told her i was
Starting point is 03:30:06 worried that my pee hole wasn't normal and and then like from there on he's like and it was so hot to have that doctor playing with my penis looking at my razor bumps i was hard as a rock you know and the next guy's like yeah i've done've done the same thing. A tip I'd share, though, is sometimes I take a little blue pill before I go to the doctor's office. And I'm just imagining a guy. And their understanding of the situation is hilarious because it's all from their point of view where they're like, and I saw the doctor look at my hard dick.
Starting point is 03:30:41 She was checking for moles near my scrotum. I also saw her smile a little bit i could tell she was into it and it's like no these are doctors like there's no ounce of them they're being polite to you like because you're getting a boner and so this this whole website is blowing my mind because they are admitting to things that are straight up illegal there's one guy who was like i flashed my daughter-in-law the other week and it was so hot and like someone was like how old is she smiley face question mark he's like i'd rather not say t he and it's like this is these are crimes but wait daughter-in-law means she's married she's probably in her 20s
Starting point is 03:31:32 i don't know okay yeah yeah she's not his stepdaughter sorry i get daughter-in-law oh oh well that could be anything yeah yeah that could be anything well it was it was the tee that put me over the edge yeah but this is this is a unique group of people i've never got off on the thought of flashing but the extent to which these guys get off on the thought of flashing at the very least they know what they like it kills me that you develop these intense temporary interests in the deviance like like i don't know someone who just gets really into bird watching might find a parallel like like oh my god you wouldn't believe what happened up there today this guy oh yeah scammed his doctor into touching his dick like i like a like a few months ago a year ago or whatever like i was really into looking at deviant art and trying to find the weirdest part of that bug chasers deviant art
Starting point is 03:32:25 bug chasers that is that's the funniest that is the funniest thing i think i've ever read on the show is the bug chasers guy who's talking about picking up condoms with his bare feet so he can get hiv oh god that he's not even good at getting h. Imagine you're such a fucking loser. You can't get HIV when you're trying. I mean, if you really wanted it, you'd go outside to some sort of clinic or something and hit on those guys, right? Like, look for the real pale, emaciated fellers.
Starting point is 03:32:56 I do like your theory. Maybe hit up those fellers. Those fellers. Maybe. We were talking about dickflash.com again, Kyle. Oh, God. I linked that to a bunch of people they thought it was hilarious it is hysterical i'm on it right now dick flash where is the where's the oh and it's also funny because the male female flashing portion of the site
Starting point is 03:33:20 has 785 threads and 5.8 000 messages the male to male flashing has 5 000 threads and 40 000 messages and so you would think that the thing you're into flashing you'd want to flash women right hey these guys like flashing other men even more just take take that as you will yeah i take it as they're showing off their giant dicks what do you think or am i just too preoccupied with giant dicks tonight maybe they're they're not they don't have giant dicks i was i was reading one a couple days ago at night where the guy was like uh i think the name of the post is like dollar general or something. And he's like, so I went to dollar general the other day and I love to pull my penis out at grocery stores.
Starting point is 03:34:11 And so I found an unsuspecting woman in one of the aisles and I pulled half of my penis out. And so I walked around pretending not to know. And it's like, first of all, dude, everybody fucking knows your penis is out at dollar general. Like granted, you're not among the most, know high class clientele but regardless and he had he posted pictures of him taking a photo from like this angle where you could see
Starting point is 03:34:37 his little dick with someone in there and this was not a theon sized normal penis reference number 22 to someone's dick that taylor finds small did this it didn't it was the kind of dick that doesn't hang down like it was like it just it just barely stuck out like a little nub and he was in dollar general you can see the dollar general sign as he's taking pictures being like yeah i snapped a few more pictures while she was in line checking out. And it's just a picture with his dick poking out of his zipper. And then in the foreground, two people checking out. And this guy got his rocks off doing that, I think.
Starting point is 03:35:19 There's a lot of those types of videos on porn websites of dudes jerking off in the car. And they'll pull up next to like like girls like a bag as as they're stroking it and but but this is where the girls are standing there and they'll ask for directions while they're jerking off so the girls can see down into the car clearly and usually they're not like oh yeah that's got thing and run away they're more like giggling and laughing at the fact that this guy's got his dick out while he's asking for directions so uh west on baltimore so you're not easily fooled in things like this do you get the impression that these women are not paid actresses i can tell the difference yeah i can definitely tell the difference yeah and you're saying this is real yeah yeah yeah some are real some are fake i can definitely tell the difference 100
Starting point is 03:36:04 like like it's it's all about the camera and the camera work and the camera angle and what the people look like and the guy's profile right like if you go to his profile and like he's just got all kinds of crazy shit there like that's just not how professional porn works like it's also him at home like
Starting point is 03:36:20 jerking off while he makes toast looking out the window at like the neighbor mowing her lawn. This is just a deviant motherfucker. A lot of these people are. A lot of these people are fucking gross. Every single ad on this website is for Blue Jew.
Starting point is 03:36:36 That's great. That's great! Loud and proud. Let them know. Loud and proud, brother. Loud and proud. Nothing wrong with it. I watched the Matthew McConaughey, or no, Owen Wilson Wow compilation. Have you watched that? Yep, yep, yep.
Starting point is 03:36:50 He was like, wow, wow, wow. And he does that over and over. I was working on the way home. I'm so fucking weird in my commutes now that I'll start a podcast and listen to it for 10 minutes and then think of something that i think is funny like a voice and then just do that to myself the whole way home like i was driving on the highway today being like oh man that wow owen wilson video was really funny and i was just sitting there going wow wow wow, that's great. Wow. Is that autism?
Starting point is 03:37:31 I'm not really into trains or anything. So I don't know. But it must be close. Yeah, I used to drive and I learned how to whistle with my fingers, like the super loud one. Oh, yeah. I'm envious of that skill. I can't.
Starting point is 03:37:48 I can't do that. I can also not. I can't whistle at all. I can't blow a bubble, like with gum. Oh. Loser. That is the measure of a man. You just put it up against your teeth,
Starting point is 03:38:03 stick your tongue out a little bit. Okay, Marilyn, tell me more. You just put your lips together. What Stick your tongue out a little bit Okay Marilyn tell me more You just put your lips together What I do Kyle I put the gum against my teeth To make it flat and thin And then I blow it I chew it really hard
Starting point is 03:38:17 And then I smooth it out Eat some sauerkraut and then put it over my asshole And then just Blow it out Does sauerkraut give and then put it over my asshole. And then just blow it out. Does sauerkraut give you guys gas? Am I alone? I don't eat sauerkraut. You don't like sauerkraut?
Starting point is 03:38:32 It's great on a brat. I don't like brats either. That's insane to me. Brats are just the superior hot dogs. I have to beat the shit out of hot dogs. Every now and then I have a brat, and I'm like, why are hot dogs even existing? How are they a thing?
Starting point is 03:38:46 Brats are clearly the superior tubular food. Hot dogs are just bullshit in comparison. I couldn't agree more. The only hard thing with brats is when you get too excited to eat a fresh one
Starting point is 03:38:58 and you bite into it and you get the juice. Because a juice from a brat will spray. Like, you'll burn your cheek dude hot cheese on a pizza is baby danger compared to brat juice that shit'll take an eye out you'll like feel the outside of the brat and be like this is ready to eat and take a bite and it's like well i i guess i didn't want to taste the rest of this
Starting point is 03:39:19 yeah i i immediately go to like estimating like ah that was like an 11 day burn it's gonna be a while before I notice that my mouth is healed I can't believe you haven't had a pizza since I broke my leg I think that's insane to me I get pizza at least
Starting point is 03:39:39 or maybe I don't get pizza but I have pizza at least like once a month dude every meal I eat is very disciplined. I pretty much only drink water and I have an occasional coffee. But fuck trail mix because it's my kryptonite, man. I eat too much goddamn trail mix. I don't know what to tell you. It's delicious.
Starting point is 03:40:02 Right now I'm doing the intermittent fasting thing as a way to lose effort oh how's that going i am good about oh so there's different ways to intermittent fast for people that don't know some people eat like take a day off uh what i do is i eat eight hours and i don't eat the other 16 it's just a way to reduce caloric intake that i find it's a little easier to maintain discipline but not totally easy because one i I'll be like, all right, well, shit, it's 750. Better have a fucking handful of trail mix because I'm not eating for the next 16 hours. I don't think that's what they want you to do on intermittent fasting, but there I am. And then about two nights a week, I just fucking lack discipline. And that's that. But I have started working out. I got
Starting point is 03:40:43 injured. i couldn't work out for months but uh i started probably three weeks ago colin and i back in the gym that's a positive thing what i really mean while you were hurt or i didn't i didn't do shit yeah i couldn't like even or no did colin no no he's not gonna work out without me that's uh i maybe a better version of me would have been in there as a coach having him work out. But when I turned into an injured piece of shit, then I didn't make him what I would have. But yeah, I couldn't hold a gallon of milk up or anything. I didn't fuss about it too much, but it was an issue.
Starting point is 03:41:20 But now we're back in the gym, uh i'm eating right mostly and here comes summer this happens to me like every year i get thinner in the summer every year in like december i'm like there's infinite time before summer eat whatever you want and by the time march rolls around it's like oh no oh it's almost here and you're still a fat piece of shit dude i am um deep i've my pool has been de-winterized in that like the filter's running and and it's like you know it's all going but it's still cloudy and it's like i don't think i can get thin faster than i can make my pool clear you know like i got a problem on my hands here and that's where we clock and then i i took an angle grinder to my stomach about a week ago so i didn't like that but it's uh 90 healed
Starting point is 03:42:12 well you gotta get trim however however whatever it takes you know i didn't even think of that maybe if i had angle grinded my stomach more i would have gotten to the fatty layer fuck i would deal with a lot of pain if it was like a instant fat reduction thing dude i looked into the whole thing you would think of is like all of this i'm doing right now buys me snacks this is buying me pizza this is buying me cheez-its this is buying me all the other things i like that are bad for me i want to weigh less oh i want to look better my primary thing is look better that that's my bad for me. I want to weigh less. Oh, I want to look better. My primary thing is look better. That's my biggest thing.
Starting point is 03:42:48 I'd also like to weigh less because I'm into the paramotoring thing. And just physically being less weight would be nice. But those are really, it's not about buying me snacks. Lifeguard Woody literally didn't like eating. Didn't like eating. It was something that i put up with
Starting point is 03:43:05 because you needed to do that to do all the other fun stuff like exercise 46 year old woody finds eating to be just fine as a matter of fact you know 15 hours into his fast he's holding out but that that last hour is all about you know eating again i mean like i bought a or i guess my girlfriend went shopping and got us some uh pretzel sticks like those pretzel rods for a movie night kind of big ones yeah the big ones like cigars right and she was like i'm not gonna have any and i was like okay whatever more for me i'm not gonna or i think i said i'm not gonna have too many either i'm gonna be lies and then we went in the basement to where i got i've got my 75 inch tv set up in my basement now my sectional couch my chair my everything's set up i'm putting the pool table down there
Starting point is 03:43:54 my girlfriend's getting me a pool table for my birthday uh very cool present that's gonna be very cool but we went down there and we started watching the muppets treasure island which is a fantastic movie it's like a children's movie but it is hilarious it's really really fun okay and over the course of that 90 minute movie i ate an entire bag of rolled gold giant pretzel sticks and it wasn't until i reached over onto the like the end table to get some more and i just heard the sound of salt shaking around that i was like oh no oh no let me look at the back of this bag i didn't see that i didn't see the calories in there i didn't see that and it was like oh i just i put myself like 10 days behind dude i'm totally familiar with this but
Starting point is 03:44:43 it was like four days ago i i i traveled to go somewhere and then on my way back i had to eat wendy's that's what i eat when i drive long times too often and there's not a lot of good restaurant choices anyway so somehow asshole me is like well today's already a low discipline, so you really should just have another fucking fistful of trail mix, you jackass. And that's... And you feel so ashamed afterward. Dude, and then the opposite happens too. I'd be like, yesterday I was perfection.
Starting point is 03:45:18 I had veggies, grilled George Foreman chicken for lunch and dinner, and that's all I ate all day. Yesterday was a winning day, and those are more days than not. But then I'll be like, it's the ones where I'm like, oh, I can't take that back, you know? Yeah, it's all a momentum game, I feel like. If you've got two weeks of solid good behavior, it's really easy to go two weeks in a day,
Starting point is 03:45:42 and then two weeks in two days. When you're like three days in and you've been good it's very very easy to be like well i've earned a treat you know what nut i need to seal i need to break again my fitness pal that shit works are you logging all your food right now uh i'm not doing it as well as I should. I did today part of it, but not as much. I somehow am like, I haven't been logging, and I haven't been logging for a long time, and I know that I should. I know that that really works.
Starting point is 03:46:16 Something about just putting every calorie in there, every calorie, even the butter you put on your thing. And it's eye-opening to like exactly what you're consuming. And it makes me cheat less. But I'm just like, ah. Do you like pickles? I don't want to.
Starting point is 03:46:35 Yes. Pickles are a great snack. I'm totally indifferent to pickles. Pickles are a great snack and they're like no calories. Like very few calories in a pickle. I mean, if you think about it, it's a cucumber and vinegar. vinegar vinegar doesn't have any calories in it i don't think i eat carrots pretty often to me yeah i i've been eating a lot of like i bought this whole jar of like uh boar's head pickles like they're like cut in half like it's it's like the whole pickle but like cut down the lengthwise yeah and like when i'm gaming, I'll get three of those.
Starting point is 03:47:05 That's a great snack. I love those fucking things. They're a little spicy. Maybe I should add those in. I'm thinking right now how awesome a deli pickle would be. The kind that they're floating in the barrel. Is that still a thing? I don't know. Yeah, sure. Or get a whole fucking pickle just to...
Starting point is 03:47:22 That would fill your belly. It would have to have i'm envious of kyle's resolve like where you i don't know how you do it where you'll just click on one day and be like yeah i feel like i'm getting fat so i'm not gonna eat for the next three weeks yeah yeah and then each and every fucking time it's what you just described there is never a mistake it's all you really do drop an insane amount of weight and then it's it's what you just described there's never a mistake it's all you really do drop an insane amount of weight and then it's it's what you just described that whole thing where you're like every day of suffering is like a day of binging later on where i can eat taco bell three times in a day when i where i can like just go crazy and and have like ice cream and pudding
Starting point is 03:47:59 and stuff like that so like starving yourself and and during those times like i'll eat once a day like at midnight or something like that so that like i don't have to go to sleep hungry because that's the worst for me it's hard yeah uh and and i'll tuna is one thing i eat a lot like just i put a little bit of light mayonnaise in there and uh and then relish and then eat it on like one piece of rye toast or a wheat toast it's like 40 calorie bread and i'll eat that and then eat it on like one piece of rye toast or wheat toast that's like 40 calorie bread and i'll eat that and then try to fall asleep immediately because my belly's a little bit full and then i wake up and i'm just starving again but then by lunchtime the hunger goes away and i can make it to midnight again and if you do that for 10 days you've lost 12 pounds
Starting point is 03:48:43 jill sun and It's just hard. Jail Sonnen was like, my weight loss efforts aren't working out. I've decided to have nothing but water until I weigh, I think it might've been 220. He's like, I'm going to weigh that. That's how it's going to be. And I think he did it.
Starting point is 03:48:58 I don't know that he's done enough follow-up videos, but it's crossed my mind. I'm like, wait a minute. Are you saying that in nine days, I could be my target weight if I just suffer enough in those nine days? Yeah. And the thing about starving yourself,
Starting point is 03:49:11 and I don't care if it's healthy. I've been through this many times. A lot of the things I do are just not healthy. We're here to look good, not to be healthy. I don't care. Yeah, exactly. Once you go hungry for long enough, you stop being hungry.
Starting point is 03:49:24 Like you still want food. The survival trip that happened to me. Yeah, you don't. Exactly. You don't have the hunger pangs anymore. You know, it's not like your belly isn't rumbling anymore. You're not like you don't feel lightheaded anymore. Your body adjusts to like, oh, shit, I guess we're running on reserves now.
Starting point is 03:49:40 All right, let's click on over. Let's open that like an ATV. Let me open that reserve tank up and we'll just run on that fat ass you got back there for a for a week or two and see how that goes it sucks but but i it's what i've always done like can i just buy an injection i i i think you can they just i'm convinced that different kinds of like steroids or i forget if it's more insulin or less i think it might be less insulin like you want an insulin inhibitor and that's the kind of thing they'll do to treat fat loss 10 years from now it'll be super common maybe so yeah or you know i think the the the key is going to be something that keeps your body from storing the fat you intake
Starting point is 03:50:22 like someday we'll have some pill that makes it so that your body only, like right now, for example, if you eat 1,000 pure calories, I doubt you're getting 1,000 calories of fat and or energy. Like maybe you're getting 800. Like maybe you're 80% efficient. If you could make your body 10% efficient at storing fat and calories, like if you could make it so that it just, and there have been pills could make it so that it just and there there have
Starting point is 03:50:45 been pills and stuff that do that but those are the those are the things that that make you have like anal leakage and like shit like that price to pay yeah how much anal leakage if i can eat whatever i want whenever i want i'm gonna wear a diaper oh i got a little anal leakage but look at me eating my barbecue yeah yeah i can't hear you all i'm doing is hearing my abs yeah like maybe that's the thing i think that's the that's a that's a trillion dollar pill dude one of the fitness youtubers was talking about liposuction he's basically arguing against it but the argument was super powerful he's like look liposuction takes like eight weeks to do. To recover from. It's a
Starting point is 03:51:28 rough, painful, dreadful process. I didn't know that. Apparently, liposuction is horrible to deal with. I think it might be even longer than that before your skin re-drapes in a natural way. Have you ever seen it performed? Yeah, where they take that hose and it looks
Starting point is 03:51:44 like they're being super hot. They're in there just going like that. It looks brutal. The same way I vacuum underneath my car seats when I'm at the car wash. It crossed my mind. I was like, if I could be thin in a day for $10,000, I would make that buy. I would just buy it. But that's not what the deal is.
Starting point is 03:52:05 You're like, damage, you can hardly move and then you can move but you're in pain and then it's months before you look right again. That's not,
Starting point is 03:52:15 I'd miss most of summer if I were to get my business. It'd be better spent on what to get it. It'd be better spent on like a hardcore personal trainer. Like Mike is going to show up tomorrow and he's getting it.
Starting point is 03:52:25 So that's the second half of this. He's like like now imagine you spent that same 12 weeks working out like the you you would be if you went through that an equivalent amount of like pain and misery that you would get from liposuction if you put into exercise and eating right you'd be amazing and it's like ah he does seem right he does seem right. He does seem right about that. If you hire Big Mike, and every morning Big Mike's at your house at 5 in the morning. He's like, wake up, motherfucker. Time to go. And you're like, nah, Big Mike, I don't want to.
Starting point is 03:52:54 And Mike starts whipping your ass. Like, I told you once, that's all you get. And all of a sudden, you're being drugged from bed. And he's throwing you into the shower and stripping your clothes off of you and you try to fight back a little and he just bitch slaps you. God damn it! Do my pull-ups!
Starting point is 03:53:13 Give me the towel! Nah, you done lost your shower privileges. Give it to him. I bet it's like a trainer coming over here is a hundred bucks. It's more than that. Is it?
Starting point is 03:53:27 Yeah. Because he's going to want time per hour. And that's going to start as soon as he leaves his house. You might think my workout sessions are longer than they really are. Oh, well, then that's the other thing. If you're going to pay a guy to come train you, God, it seems wasteful to do half an hour, right? You're going to want to do an come train you, God, it seems wasteful to do half an hour, right? You know, you're going to want to do like an hour of cardio or something like that with like,
Starting point is 03:53:49 like maybe like intermittent cardio, you know, maybe like 20 minutes on five minutes off, 20 minutes on 10 minutes off that sort of thing. Oh, cardio. I, I've had my treadmill now for over a month. I have never used it. My girlfriend uses it all the time. She likes the treadmill. But I don't see that trend changing. Dude, what you got to do is put a TV in front of it. Oh, I have a TV in front of it.
Starting point is 03:54:18 I just hate running. I like calisthenics. I don't know why I find them so much more satisfying than weightlifting. But the part of my... We're doing pull-ups. much more satisfying than weightlifting. We're doing pull-ups. We're doing push-ups. We're doing sit-ups. We're doing burpees.
Starting point is 03:54:30 We're doing shrimps. We're doing bear crawls. There's a subreddit called Body Weight Training or something like that. Are you familiar with it? No. Yeah. This is the first time this has happened. There we go.
Starting point is 03:54:43 The whole subreddit is built around exercises done purely with your body weight. Like no equipment workouts, essentially. Like all kinds of push-ups and sit-ups and burpee-type workouts and sort of like up-downs and that kind of shit. And then they give, you know, if you go in the best of all time or whatever, you can find whole programs. Like, all right, do 10 of these, four sets, and then do one of these and it's you know would you say it was called again body weight workouts body weight exercises something like that because i've looked at that same subreddit yeah body weight fit it's something like that it has it's probably body weight fitness there's almost a million subs to this that's got to be it yeah yeah it it it has
Starting point is 03:55:24 all to do with like basically people who don't have a gym they don't have a bench press and a squat rack and all that stuff and you know lifting more and more is so satisfying though like when you see the physical weight going on there and it's more than you did and then you do it like i don't know that's really motivating to me you hear that with push-ups and and sit-ups like like like i like during the times when i've worked out the hardest like push-ups got so easy that they didn't feel like a workout anymore it's like well i just not like if you knock out 30 and you just feel like you're just pushing air it's it's it's taylor does 50 workout so yeah he doesn't know, but we're very competitive. So that's where I like to go. I do mine in sets, though, so if I do more than 50,
Starting point is 03:56:09 it's usually like, I don't know what it would be, like 25, 20, 15 or something like that. Yeah, I don't know how many I could do right now. Like in high school, I think I did like 50 or 60 or something. But then, you know, sometimes when I get into a fitness kick, my thing will be to do exercises like that throughout the day randomly like anytime i think about it it's like that idea like it's like let's knock out let's knock out 20 push-ups and like even in the kitchen
Starting point is 03:56:34 i would just drop down and or like when i'm brushing my teeth i try to knock out 15 or 20 squats like i'd squat the whole time i'm brushing my teeth like uh and that kind of stuff helps squats like i'd squat the whole time i'm brushing my teeth like uh and that kind of stuff helps yeah for sure if you do it every day count just as much right absolutely not a genius at this but i would think it does because it can be hard to motivate yourself to like get suited up and get showered and like turn the music on and not do all of that shit over there and go into the room that is the room of working out and start counting reps but if you're doing 10 squats every time you brush your teeth for a month
Starting point is 03:57:10 I mean you absolutely just see a difference I love going into my basement gym it's so sick having that there my bench isn't even that good yet I can do 225 25 times I can do it pretty good how many times can you do it stop
Starting point is 03:57:27 my bitch isn't very good how many times do you i well my i tweeted i tweeted years ago 225 i want a number 25 times jesus fuck taylor then you can do more than 225 well i'm doing five by five, so I'm going slow. You can hypothetically do more. I tweeted at the beginning of this year. I'm like, by the end of this year, I'm going to be repping 300. And now, seeing how heavy that truly is, I'm like, oh, fuck. I wonder what you can do now.
Starting point is 03:57:59 This is not going to happen. I bet your max is, I'm not good at this, but 240? It's got to 240 265 okay he's doing 225 five times and then five again and five again and five again and five again it's got to be 250 265 like like you got these numbers seem like that's a lot of weight dude see dude it is too i i'm just thinking about the equivalent like like if someone told me they could do 95 pounds five times, I'd be like, oh, well, you could totally do 150. Oh.
Starting point is 03:58:32 Yeah. Five times is a lot. I bet I could do 240. Once. I'm talking about one rep max. I bet I could do 240 once. That was my guess, too. Yeah, I don't know.
Starting point is 03:58:42 I'm not really good at predicting maxes. You have to believe Bruce Willis in Unbreakable. That's the thing. He's honest. A lot of times I have had my like maybe I'm plateauing at some weight and then I have a breakthrough. There was a math error involved and I didn't even know how much I was lifting until I like double checked it.
Starting point is 03:58:59 It's like I'm weak today. That felt like a little heavy. And then actually I had a breakthrough day. Yeah, that's how my thing went is i started my five by five way too low because the program was like only add five pounds per workout and i started at 135 which is like just 145 pound plate on each side and i was like man this is pretty fucking easy and then like i for like a few weeks i kept going up by five and it never got that challenging and so i just skipped a bunch of weight which they say never to do
Starting point is 03:59:29 because my form probably suffered but like that's kind of what i think i'm gonna do now i'm gonna disregard the plan oh to to an extent not not entirely i'm still gonna do the five by five thing but if i feel like something's too easy i'm i going to bump up. I'm not going to do the... Throw 300 on there. Live or die. I would die with 300 pounds on there. Well, you got that good squat rack. I'm sure you'd be fine.
Starting point is 03:59:53 You ever get it stuck? You ever get the bar stuck on your chest? Yeah. Yeah, I think one of the first times I did... Do you spill weights? No, I have safety bars on it. Oh. And so it comes down, like it has to be able to
Starting point is 04:00:07 come down to your to your chest to do the bench and so like the bars are almost exactly equal and so you have to do this like if you can't lift it you have to do this uncomfortable thing where you're laying back and you have the bar and it's kind of still pushing on you and you have to like suck in and roll the bar down your body on the safeties and then sit up and then scoot out of it that's not how i did it i had the same problem and it's like like it like you there fortunately there's a spot that's like perfect for my chest so i can hit my chest and whatever i'm stuck but my neck is okay so i roll the bar up to my neck and then i slide out to the side that's actually a smarter one so i had another one i have a squat rack and it's the same setup right and and uh and i'm doing
Starting point is 04:00:54 my squats and family was out of town so i'm like completely alone and i'm not getting up and i recognize that i'm not getting up from this squat in a super hurry then i basically fell forward like semi-violently and uh and the squat rack saves my butt and i just like i'm fine there's rubber mats and stuff on the ground but it was eye-opening to what would have happened without a squat rack that thing i might have i literally might have died like if that thing came slamming down on the back of my neck, that's what I was headed towards. It's the real deal.
Starting point is 04:01:31 The first time you fail on a lift in a power rack, you're like, oh, this is why people need these. It's no joke. That amount of weight, even 180 pounds, 150 pounds falling on you in the wrong way, that's devastating. What do you think 65 pounds on the back of your neck does right like it's just maybe not just the bar but yeah just the bar with a pair of 20s on it right that's uh 85 pounds and um that that could break your neck you could be a
Starting point is 04:01:58 quadriplegic easy yeah easy we're way more fragile than we realize i've been reading that so frequently recently. Like, oh, one punch to the jaw and people die. And I'm like, it just seems to be repeated all the time. I always thought we were way more durable than we realized. Like, you'd be surprised. Six foot fall. Six foot fall will kill you, you say.
Starting point is 04:02:17 Yeah, six foot fall. Falling from head height can kill you. Okay. You know, it's a weird thing what people bounce back from and what they don't, right? I've seen online motorcycle accidents that look horrific, and then the guy gets up and yells at the other driver. And then I've seen stuff, I actually know a guy,
Starting point is 04:02:39 where it didn't look that bad. He just sort of landed in the sitting position, but on the other, like 20 feet away. Yeah. And, uh, he was,
Starting point is 04:02:49 um, paraplegic. That's the word I'm looking for. Yeah. Mostly paraplegic. Like he, I mean, actually advanced to the point where he could use like a Walker,
Starting point is 04:02:58 but, um, that's sad. Yes. Yes. And he couldn't fuck. That's, Oh no.
Starting point is 04:03:04 That's the way I want to die. Then I've gotten the bar stuck on myself before and he couldn't fuck that's oh no that's the way i want to die then i've gotten the bar stuck on myself before and i didn't have your fancy safety measures but i don't put the locks on you bench or squat bench oh squat i can always just jump out from underneath that and let that fucking crash to the floor but bench it's on you and and i've been stuck and trying to get one more and then it's like okay now i have a lot of weight stuck on my chest and it's hard to breathe and i can kind of leave it on like the bottom of my like chest area sternum yeah and i won't die if i leave it here but it's not soon and there's nobody to help there's nobody nobody to like, even if someone would answer.
Starting point is 04:03:45 It's just you. This is beyond them. And so I just spill. I just spill the plates. I go all the way to the left and they go, ting, ting, ting, ting, ting, ting. And then all the right, ting, ting, ting, ting, ting. And then I'm done.
Starting point is 04:03:56 And I'm like, oh, thank God. All right, 45 is a lot. That's shit fucking bad. See, I got nervous about that kind of thing. And so one of the first times I benched a little heavier, in my home gym, I didn't put the bar grabbers or the stops or whatever the fuck you call. Collars, I call them.
Starting point is 04:04:13 Yeah, the collars. That's what they're called. And I was like, I'm not going to put those on because I don't want to get stuck. I'm a little nervous. And just by, like, my right side is stronger than my left. And so just by going up, like I wasn't being entirely even just by that on accident,
Starting point is 04:04:30 I spilled all the weights on the left and the right side went down so fast because it was a lot. And the bar slammed into the top of the weight rack. And I just remember my girlfriend being like, she was upstairs making dinner for us. And she was like, Taylor, Taylor, are you okay upstairs making dinner for us and she was like taylor taylor are you okay are you okay and i was like yeah i'm just a fool just i'm just a fucking idiot you're just dating a retard do you have dumbbells yet taylor i don't have dumbbells yet i have all my kettlebells and i have barbells and then i bought these um i bought these uh farmer's walk handles where you can they have
Starting point is 04:05:06 the same kind of collar that you put plates onto right right and so you can put a bunch of weight on there and so usually at the end of workouts i'll put like uh you know 80 85 pounds or so on those and then just put them in my hands one in each hand and just walk as much as i can throughout my basement and at the end of those like you first of all your grip and your forearms are dead like you've got no juice left in the tank but i don't know maybe i'm over overrating the effectiveness of farmers carries but pretty much every workout person is like this is a jack-of-all-trades workout it's just walking with a ton of weight as far as you
Starting point is 04:05:46 can hit your traps hit your hit your forearms hit your grip you know it's forcing you to use stabilizing muscles the whole way especially if you like walk a little faster you try to so i think farmer's walks are great i do lunge walks or lunges and basically suck oh my god it's so not now now i'm actually doing it with no weight. I used to do it with 10 pounds in each hand. And it's brutal. And my house is kind of big. So when we walk from the gym through the master bedroom around the pool table and back, it is a long walk.
Starting point is 04:06:18 And there isn't really a great way to just knock a little off. So Colin and I are just ruined at the end of those. But I like them. I like them. And now we're doing shrimps and bear crawls and shit, and I just... I don't know. I find a little more fun in the body weight stuff.
Starting point is 04:06:35 Sorry. I hit the reminder. Oh, you're good. God, four hours in and your phone goes off? Stop it and let's restart. I'm putting water in my pool, and if I don't remember to turn it off I should remember to turn it off that would be an
Starting point is 04:06:51 error yeah so I guess that's your own city are you in city water no well water yes there's no fear that it might a pool where the water might tap it out oh no no that our water is like never ending yeah it's never ending there's a river not far from here and the amount of water table there gallons per minute is like it's i think you want it to be over you want it to be over three but you really want it to be over five and mine is like 45. Oh shit. Yeah. That's a great well. Yeah. So it's the water tastes better too.
Starting point is 04:07:29 It does. Yeah. Yeah. My grandparents have well water and it tastes different. Yeah. So, uh, anyway, yeah.
Starting point is 04:07:35 So we, I just said though, it takes a little while for the pool though. Hoses narrow. But, uh, anyway, PKA four 33.
Starting point is 04:07:45 Yeah. Sounds good.

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