Painkiller Already - Painkiller Already #435
Episode Date: April 26, 2019On this week's PKA, Boogie2988 is back! And he shares with the guys his journey to getting his full mouth of completely new teeth and what that was like, they also talk shop about what happened in the... premiere episode of the last season of Game of Thrones and Taylor shares with the class the most ridiculous conspiracy theory we've ever heard. Don't miss PKA this week!
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Pinkular already, episode 435
with our guest Boogie, Kyle
few sponsors tonight, Casper Mattresses
Blue Chew, Get Quip and
MeUndies, we'll get to them later on in the show of course
very excited about MeUndies because I got a whole
onesie they sent me the other day
and it's like being naked inside of a
velvety cloud of fuck cloth
it's great
we'll get to those later on
fuck cloth
it is, fuck cloth, oh oh yeah boogie how the hell
are you sexy fuck it looks like you lost a fight yeah well so i got implant surgery and that video
is on my youtube channel if you want to see the grizzly cups of it that's what somebody literally
said i'm sort of like they put boobs in your mouth i'm like i wish
but but what happened is they um these teeth are implants they're not dentures i got my old
old old teeth pulled sorry i'm still learning to speak around yeah i noticed that right
i got some new teeth so beautiful yeah but they they pulled all the old teeth and they put in some metal posts, drilled six metal posts into my skull.
Okay.
And then six more into my jawline.
And because of that, my face was really, really swollen.
And the swelling led to some bruising under the eye.
So I've been filming for YouTube because of it.
And I thought, well, I'm not filming for YouTube.
I'll come film with you guys.
I mean, a lot of people just listen to the audio anyway. Right. So yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. More people just don't even watch the video, but so how was it painful?
Was it awful or were you just out the whole time and you woke up?
What kind of anesthesia did you have? So I went with a group in Dallas, Texas. I have one in
Dallas, one in Vegas. I think they're building one in Virginia now. It's called G4 by GOLPA, G-O-L-P-A. And they knocked me out. They had an anesthesiologist
there on hand and I was able to respond. Like at one point, if you go watch my video, I even gave
a thumbs up while they had the skin flayed back from my inside of my jaw where they were screwing in the metal posts right
it was insane yeah and i do have memories from the surgery um very few but a few moments where
they would wake me up and say boogie we need you to do this or do that i would wake up and i would
answer them and then would go right back to sleep so he kept me like right at the edge of consciousness
and gave me like a a twilight. So I would forget most of it.
So he did a really,
really good job.
I was so pleased at the job,
the anesthesiologist said,
and he says the asshole soreness is normal.
When I saw the black guys,
I'm like,
were you guys beating the hell out of me during the surgery?
Like,
what were you doing?
But yeah, I think, I think they gave me butt sex.? What were you doing? But yeah,
I think they gave me butt sex.
Now the point that I'm making is
it was actually nowhere near as painful
as I thought it was going to be.
And when I was in my 20s,
I had somebody take my wisdom teeth out without anesthesia.
They just gave me local numbing.
That was a thousand times
more painful than this.
And they pulled out 16, 17 teeth.
Of the 17 teeth I had left 14 were infected there was 14 pockets of infection fuck me in my body right take a
pause so 32 teeth is normal are you saying you had 17 pre-surgery uh yeah at 17 i've been for
the last roughly 10 years i I was down to 17.
Yeah.
Okay.
I'd lost most of my molars in my 20s.
And when I say lost them, I had like root tips and stuff.
I got to say, you are a grand fucking champion of eating.
If you got to 550 pounds with half the teeth of a normal man.
Oh, yeah.
Well, to be honest with you that meant i liked processed
foods a lot more than like healthier foods i had my first carrot for for a really long time i've
been into an apple for the first time in a while like healthy food is fibrous food right but i
would drink all the apple juice in the world i would i would eat carrot salad from chick-fil-a
with all that mayonnaise and all that sugar in it right like processed food
i could eat um and so that was one of the biggest issues softer foods processed foods and unhealthier
foods with a bunch of sugar and a bunch of fat added you know they're easy you don't have to
barely chicken nuggets piece so so i gotta know how much did the surgery cost so for me i got
comped in exchange for like i get a very deep discount in exchange for the YouTube exposure from the company.
On their website, it says it starts as little as $11,000 for if you have Medicare out of pocket.
I believe it's a varying cost depending on exactly what you need to get done in your personal situation.
I've heard full implant surgery for like the
individual screws, the individual teeth, which is not what I got. I got the big plates, right? I got
the bridges, the G4 system, but like the other systems can be like a hundred thousand bucks,
I've heard. So are your teeth in the back? Are your teeth attached to each other?
Right. And so that's one of the coolest things about this the tooth care routine is bizarre because these teeth um in the front they look
like they have gaps they look individual right right there is no individual they're all one
giant plate um and so that's really badass but i still have to floss because the metal posts that connect to the bridges, there's space between my gums and those metal,
the gums and the bridge.
So I have to take a piece of floss,
special floss,
I have to get off like Amazon
and thread it underneath the bridge.
And then I have to floss those six individual posts
because tartar can build up on those.
And if tartar build up on those,
those can decay over time.
So you floss above your teeth. So I floss above my teeth now. because tartar can build up on those and if tartar build up on those those can decay over time above
your teeth so i floss above my teeth now your teeth only look like they're coming from the gums
they're really just butted against the gums right right exactly and they are they're connected to
that metal post they're really screwed onto that metal post you're nodding along do you have
something similar i don't have the implants i got like this resin shit added to
my front six teeth there and to like the back five on either side but mine wasn't because of decay or
rotting or anything mine was because of a grinding issue but that mine are all still connected here
so the flossing is they told me that too they're like yeah you're still gonna want to floss above
it but there's no metal posts in mine so so it's a little easier, I would assume.
And I was like, this is fucking impossible.
I'm not doing this.
And they're like, okay, get a water pick.
And so I just use a water pick now and rinse.
You know what those are?
I use that.
That is the start of where my tooth care got really good.
Yeah, they're great.
I used a water pick because I had braces as a kid.
Is your mirror always dirty?
Yes.
Because it is impossible to use a water pick
without making an ass of yourself.
Because there's nowhere for the water
and little bits of food that you're rinsing out to go
other than you to be like...
If you put the water pick under your lip...
And it's getting in your beard,
and it runs down your beard,
under your shirt,
in your chest hair.
You're just all wet,
but you have to do it.
Teenage Woody can't relate to any of that.
But yeah, if you put the water pick way up close,
under your lip,
in a way that maybe it doesn't splash everywhere,
it doesn't work.
It needs to be able to jet to your teeth.
So it's like a little L-shaped hook,
and you point it towards you,
and it hits your teeth and splashes everywhere.
So for years in my house, the bathroom mirror was just horrible to look at.
But it is way better than flossing still.
So switch to a pick if they said that's okay.
I don't know your situation.
It's part of the routine.
I have to brush in the morning and brush at night because you don't want tartar building up on these.
Yeah, that's pretty standard.
Then I'm using a special mouthwash now,
but I'll swap to a normal mouthwash when that one's gone later in the week.
Then I will, I have to floss under the gums once at night
and then water pick to get any like food removed
that got under the ridge during the night.
And that doesn't start until like week three because I'm still healing.
There's like still stitches and stuff under there.
Because this surgery, I did it Thursday morning. it's now we're recording on thursday the
week after i had the teeth within 24 hours that's the craziest thing about the system
is i went to a dentist to talk to them about getting dentures um and they were like well
we'll pull all the teeth on the right hand side then we'll have you come back and pull all the
teeth on the left hand side but we'll leave all the stuff in the side. Then we'll have you come back and pull all the teeth on the left-hand side, but we'll leave all the stuff in the front. And then we'll fit you for dentures.
And then we'll pull the bottom row. Then we'll pull the top row and then we'll let you heal.
And how much work am I going to miss lady? Yeah. I work in entertainment. I can't look like that
for a month. Right. So I reached out to the G4 by GULPA people and I'm like, Hey, is it true?
It only takes 24 hours like yep you'll be literally
you literally will eat a steak or an apple the day after the surgery i'm like you're joking no
they took me out to steak dinner i saw you bite an apple in what looked like the operating room
how far off am i no that was the operating room was the day before and then that was the room
where they fit the teeth the next day and after 3d printing them overnight and mulling them and it was i thought it was all computer done
no literally like five teeth artists worked on my teeth to make them perfect so overnight you had
studs coming out of your gums and then the next day they put your teeth on and you're literally
ready to bite and i bit right into an iphone I can't believe they were trying to get you to piecemeal your whole mouth.
I would want extreme home makeover edition of my mouth,
where it's just seven hours of laying in a chair and then move that bus.
And I get to see.
I like to move that bus.
To be honest with you, that's literally what they did for me.
That's what this Goldblatt doctor and then Dr. Anderson and all these other guys, that's exactly what they did.
They're like, hey, let's just do it all within 24 hours, and then you'll be right back to work.
And they're still swelling, obviously, and they're still like the bruising and still like learning how to speak around the teeth.
They said within at least two weeks, I'll feel like brand new.
So you got comped.
I'm one week out, and I already feel like brand new. It's free'm one week out and i already feel like it's free
i got a deep deep discount yeah okay not not 100 comp but nearly right like so less than
like less than five thousand dollars yes definitely less than five thousand oh nice yeah
yeah i didn't even get god damn it wait more than that and what am i gonna? Go to my dentist and be like, hey, do you like Asian accents?
Dude, we were buying a swimming pool two years ago,
and my wife is like,
you know, he's a pretty big YouTuber.
And he didn't, this isn't a direct quote,
but the vibe we got is,
I don't know who this fucking guy is.
You know, there's no discount on our pool.
How about I'm a big enough YouTuber
to give you a lot of problems on Yelp?
How's that sound?
Oh, now my teeth are cheaper.
Okay, cool.
To be honest, what's really cool about that doctor and that team in Dallas is they give away a lot of surgeries.
I was really surprised by that.
And so I talked to them about it.
And starting later this week, they're going to be doing like a giveaway.
I think they're giving away.
I can't spoil the details because they want their own announcement and i don't want to take it away from them
but like they're supposed to be giving away a bunch to people who saw that video and a bunch
to people who visit the website in the next year and so they just because they're they're making
good money um and they want to get back to the community and i want to get back to people in
pain and i think the reason they chose me is they knew how long I'd been in pain. And like
obviously I have a voice, so that's part of it.
They'll reap the benefits. But they're giving away
like a surgery every month anyway.
Well, if anybody out there has got
a supremely fucked mouth,
maybe hit these guys up. I need to call Jeremy.
I need to get my buddy Jeremy to hit them up.
Dude, you'd be so...
That would be life-changing.
And Jeremy, you don't know Jeremy, but he doesn't thrive economically.
I'm going to have to spend another eight grand in like a year to replace these again with full-on veneers.
And your mind went to Jeremy?
Jeremy's got four kids and he works in a factory and his teeth are more rotten than eight-month-old apples.
They're just falling out of his head.
They're all weird colors that human teeth should never become.
I took great care of my teeth though.
It was just the grinding.
He takes a lot of Mountain Dew.
Okay, number one, I found out something interesting.
A dentist reached out to me and said,
they call what I had Mountain Dew mouth.
Did you know that?
No.
Because it's a lifetime of exposure to to sugary foods that's
what this does secondly here's my actual teeth i've actually kept them so for those who want to
be really grossed out look at the screen real quick because that's cool but that's how bad and
yellow and awful my teeth were my audience are way longer than you think they are oh yeah look they're
like icebergs there's a tip that you see and then all that near the bottom kind of like my penis honestly um but but uh it yeah it's it was fascinating it was completely fascinating
is your tongue still getting like i know when i got mine fixed which is yours is way more extreme
like the thought was like is my tongue ever gonna feel at home again is it ever gonna feel normal
like are you still going through that or are you i was going through i have a prosthetic in my mouth i have a prosthetic in my mouth there's a prosthetic in my
mouth my tongue that was part of it but i was drooling for the first five days because i have
something in my mouth right um and now like two days ago i woke up and they just felt like my teeth
and like i bit into a piece of food and the numbness is gone and i there's a still bit of
numbness but most of the numbness is gone and they bit into a piece of food and the numbness is gone and there's a still bit of
numbness but most of the numbness is gone and they bit into a piece of food and it just felt
great there's one question I have for you um since you got your teeth worked on I don't know
because I never noticed your teeth before I never really noticed people's teeth um but if the people
treat you different now that you have nicer teeth no not really like beforehand my teeth they were just
ground down a lot but they looked pretty pretty normal they were just they were it was it was
particularly the back that was getting real like my molars had no tops they were just flat and my
incisors had no points they had gotten from point to a like almost two points because there's a
concave rounded out thing in there i had 125 year old
teeth which listeners are probably tired of hearing but uh no i haven't noticed i didn't
notice anybody else anybody treating me differently i just remember like three or four days after i
got it done i was out at a bar with some friends and we were sitting there watching some live music
or something and my buddy looks at me and he's like i don't want to be like rude or anything but did you do something with your teeth
and i was like yeah i got him fixed he's like oh okay yeah i knew it was something
and that was the extent of it like nobody treated me differently my my girlfriend basically i asked
her i'm like do i look ridiculous i feel like i have giant teeth now like do i look like a
a ridiculous tom cruise-like person?
She's like, no.
If I would have met you today instead of when I met you with your old teeth, I wouldn't have noticed at all.
And my old teeth are still under there.
It's just like an enamel thing that's molded over it.
That's why I have to get the real veneers.
So boogie people are treating you different.
They're holding the door for you while you're still 20 feet away because you're sexy.
Not necessarily that.
But obviously when I lost 250 pounds, I'm down 250 pounds total for my biggest hell yeah and when i
lost all of that weight that was a big difference obviously because i was a freak of nature 550
pounds 600 pounds going through a store to mark cart yeah people stared awkwardly and then would
not make eye contact if i look at you don't see a 550 pound guy every day. That's true. So now I'm kind of invisible in that regard that most people never really pay
that much attention to me, which is a good thing. But when I'm forced to interact with people,
prior to getting my teeth fixed, I didn't even notice, but people wouldn't really make a lot
of eye contact. And then on my way home, after getting the teeth in, even though
my face was a little swollen, people were just looking me right in the face and just like smiling
at me. And I'm like, this is weird. Just the teeth make that big of a difference that people were
looking away to avoid my gnarly teeth. And I'd learned to hide my teeth anyway. So I, you know,
I was, I would always keep my mouth closed. If smiled i smiled tight lip you see that in all my thumbnails on youtube oh yeah um or if i opened my mouth i would open
in a way like if i was doing a shocked expression or do it in a way that hid my teeth you know um
so it was it's weird people are making more eye contact and that was before the bruises settled
in so yeah yeah they're much better now they were they were i mean not to be offended not
to offend you or anything But they were bad before
Oh they were awful
We just saw them in a bag
They look even worse in the bag
The important thing
Though is a lot of people were worried
That I was going to lose the Francis lisp
Well I have more of a lisp
Sadly now it's the boogie lisp
I can still do the sideways lisp and give it that it's even
wetter and grosser than it is it is even wetter and grosser yeah even though youtube is completely
demonetized pretty much every francis video i ever uploaded why would they do that because they
i i talked to you i talked to a youtube rep about it this week and they're just like look
well i'm not going to quote the youtube i'll quote somebody else i talked to a youtube rep about it this week and they're just like look
well i'm not going to quote the youtube i'll quote somebody else i talked to about like look we have bots that look for fights and for violence and for anger and for negative content now and we
demonetize that stuff because our advertisers don't want to advertise on that stuff and i'm
like and obviously when you demonetize something you pull it out of the algorithm as well and
they're like well maybe and i'm like okay that's a yes youetize something, you pull it out of the algorithm as well. And they're like, well, maybe.
And I'm like, okay, that's a yes.
You just don't want to say yes, right?
And like, well, maybe.
Maybe we do.
Maybe we don't.
We don't always, but sometimes maybe, right?
And I'm like, okay.
So, but you understand that Francis' content is not violent.
It's satirical violence.
It's satirical swearing.
It's satirical anger.
It's satire. do you make no room
on your platform for satire and they're kind of like how do you teach a bot what satire is
we're not there yet and when we are there sure so that's not a very good i wonder if channels
bigger than ours have protections built in is it harder to demonetize pewdiepie to go extreme or i don't
know unbox therapy or quevel cop you know the guys with over 10 million subscribers like i guarantee
there's white listing out there and i guarantee i think at one point i was white listed and i think
at one point that went away and when it went away everything got demonetized almost overnight it was
like a light switch got thrown and so all of my legacy there's a bunch of
legacy francis videos that are still there um and that's what that's a youtube term legacy videos
it's allowed to stay in the algorithm it's not a temporary video we're not going to treat it like
it's temporary this is a permanent video one that we want to share for a very long time so some of
those legacy videos that are still getting shared two or three years later still are monetized. Like one of my friends, McJuggerNuggets, he made the Psycho series.
You're familiar with it.
His most violent video, Psycho Kid Kills Father, is still listed as a legacy video.
And he literally shoots his dad and there's fake blood and his dad dies.
That's pretty cool.
And for whatever reason,
the bots have never recognized that video,
but his Halloween video got demonetized because it had scary clowns in it.
They'd already deleted it.
They deleted it from the platform without contacting him.
I had like clowns.
Yeah, it had like scary clowns in it.
And they're like, all right, this is gone.
This is too much.
Delete.
One of my earliest intros, gamers back in 2010 used these little five second intros it had a gunshot and i
think the word woody's gamer tag looked like broken glass two things happened one they thought
the game the gunshot was like you know violence and uh two they would they there was like musical
copyright claims because it was a very similar gunshot in some song.
And they thought that I copied it.
Like it was a rap song.
I forget which.
And it was a big pain in the ass.
That's lunacy.
It is.
Yeah.
And then, by the way, the gunshot was like from some free downloadable site.
It wasn't from a song.
See, I'll tell you, Storyfire.com.
I just talked to my friend Jesse.
He's like, do you miss like
old school francis videos i'm like yes and he goes if i pay you to make them will you make
them for my platform and i'm like absolutely right and i don't think storyfire will ever
compete with youtube or anything like that but i think it's an alternative app that allows you to
have like story driven narrative driven content i signed up i just i was like you got it man you
give me money i will wreck
a car with francis if i can fund it i will destroy xboxes i will burn down a house if you're willing
to buy me a house to burn down i will burn down a house and die in it as francis like as long as
you die with that pile of money yeah i've got i've got all these like high-end scripts that we wrote
all these fantastically violent fantastically insane
francis sketches that you can't put on the platform anymore and um so he's like hey i'll
pay you to make them as long as they're exclusive content to me i'm like you've got it surprising
that like something is benign and so obviously silly as your francis videos would get demonetized
who watches that like when you're sitting there with i remember
it used to be your thumbnail where you had like your shirt pulled up and you were like
the the god of mountain dew right like who can look at that and be like ah this is this is
potentially was it that violent i remember him being like maybe banging a controller or something
but and and so like i tested after talking to a youtuber three weeks ago i i tested the the
algorithm a little bit and i made
a video where i was going through the airport um pretending to slide in and out of the francis
character like i couldn't help it right like that's the narrative that i'm telling right now
with the character and i plan to really hype that up on youtube because it works on youtube
surprisingly and i was i was like public publicly harassing people and then when i cut the camera
i was like hey do you mind if I put this on the internet?
And they're like, no, no, no, that's fine.
And if somebody said no, obviously I didn't put it on the internet.
That's not a problem.
But I'm like, hey, I filmed you.
Do you mind if I put this on the internet?
And nobody said no.
So I was happy with that.
But that got like 300,000 views and my audience loved it.
And even my YouTube rep is like, that's what you can do on the platform.
Do that.
And even my YouTube rep is like, that's what you can do on the platform.
Do that.
And I'm like, you guys don't want me to pretend to destroy an Xbox, but you don't mind me publicly harassing people?
That's weird.
Because, well, obviously we don't like the public harassment.
I'm just saying the bots may not recognize that as negative content.
The bots don't understand harassment yet.
Right.
I was like, I couldn't understand the situation.
I was so fascinated by what they do and what they don't want on the platform.
But I will tell you what they do want on the platform.
They want negative content.
And it performs and it excels.
And they don't realize that they have built a system that encourages negative content.
But when I make a video talking about Yoshi's Woolly World and how much fun I had playing it,
nobody gets a shit.
It doesn't perform well.
People don't want to watch it people want to watch negative shit so when i tear rockstar a new asshole for
screwing up red dead redemption 2 online that video does very well and it gets the it gets the
kind of metrics that youtube currently favors and because of that that video does very well
300 400 000 views highly monetized i made over a thousand dollars off of that video does very well 300 400 000 views highly monetized i made over a thousand dollars off of
that video that the rockstar video um heavily monetized high quality ads and it's a very
negative video where if we all made that video if everybody like complained about rockstar online
they could end up firing people youtube is effectively making the world worse because
if you'll notice every YouTube gaming channel,
and I talk about this gaming stuff, every YouTube gaming news channel, everything is negative all
the time. You have a handful of people like the completionist or donkey who do well by doing
positive, but most of us are just horribly negative. And it's because number one, there's
a lot of bad shit happening in gaming and you should call that shit out but secondly youtube favors it now youtube
favors negative content anger and vitriol just as long as you're not raising your voice as long as
you're not hitting an xbox with a hammer it doesn't matter how you if it's comedy throw it out if it's
a joke if it's satire throw it out if it's you getting people fired at ea go nuts that's the
world we live in now i think don't you think maybe it's
more that the algorithm is recognizing that the public prefers negative content that the viewership
is responding positively to negativity and so they're like oh yeah you like that we'll give
you a little more yeah a little more same but that's the metrics right but that's what i'm
sorry if it bleeds it leads right? That's what the news does.
No one talks about good news on the news.
That's why there's so many female anchors.
Yeah.
Jesus Christ.
Boogie came around to it.
Yeah.
So the negative stuff, the fires, the murders, et cetera.
No one's talking about a dog that found its way home.
It's not a story.
That's a real shame.
But you're right. That should be the
title to Hillary Clinton's
autobiography.
Do you know what I
watch on YouTube? Number one, she did
bleed. She ain't bleeding shit.
Secondly,
she just loves on bleeding. Secondly, you know what I watch?
She just loves on bleeding.
Anyway, carry on.
I'm glad Woody went in that direction.
I was afraid he was going to be like,
she was a senator from New York and a very influential first lady.
No, he's like, no, menopause hit her in like 15 years before.
But what I watch on YouTube is very positive content believe it or not i do watch gaming news but a lot of i watch a lot of magic the gathering unboxings and magic the
gathering content talking about the quality of the game hearthstone content i watch um some of
the gaming news channels i do watch are very negative but most of them are very neutral like
inside gaming what used to be the no they're i mean they're negative but not negative in like a
vitriolic way um and then uh i watch a lot of uh disney stuff like the disney parks and theme
park stuff like yesterworld and offhand disney where they like they talk about the rights and
histories of the rights and the history of the parks themselves so i love theme parks now that
i can go to them again i'm super excited to go to like silver dollar city and six
flags and stuff and i've got like plans to go to disney two more times just this year alone because
i love the disneyland parks that are made so are you on the coasters yet are you still yeah yeah
in december i finally got to ride the increda coaster and space mountain and the guardians of
galaxy ride and i've been to disneyland a half and Space Mountain and the Guardians of the Galaxy ride.
And I've been to Disneyland a half dozen times normally for the food and for the shows.
Right.
Yeah.
They have good food.
Yeah.
I ate once.
I was there for like 12, 16 hours.
I ate once that day because I was like, oh, I am finally starving.
I will grab some food to go and go eat in a queue line.
I am finally starving.
I will grab some food to go and go eat in a queue line.
One of the saddest things I've ever seen in regards to someone being overweight and not being able to do a thing was a roller coaster. Because like if you don't have that, I always get the fast pass and I'm not going to go through the whole fast passing again, but always get a fast pass.
So you don't sit in fucking lines.
You're literally paying like 250% normal ticket price, but you're getting a thousand percent the experience because you're
not sitting in three hour lines you're sitting in five minute ten minute lines you can ride the same
ride eight times in a row and i did in some cases it just over and over then i get the vip bracelet
so i don't even get off after i ride it once i just sit there and ride it again while the person
behind me in line is like it's our turn and i'm just like no no it's not ka-chunk again well
we're on the roller coaster and it's a
ball and move you unbuckle just to be like nah i think i'll go around but it's six flags that's
just like a couple hundred dollars extra right yeah yeah at disney it's like six grand it's like
and they don't even have as good of rides if you ask me disney rides aren't as good as the best
rides in ohio anyway i've read that like i'm really into roller coasters and i've done a little bit of research
but anyway what happened was we're on like superman the ride at six flags over georgia and
it's it's the one that like tilts you forward and you're literally in the superman position flying
it's very cool and we're going for our second pass. The thing opens up and they were like, nope, clickety-clack.
And this very large woman with a normal human-sized boyfriend or guy friend or something get in.
And they get into the little bicycle seat cup your balls harness.
And he goes, ka-chunk.
And then she gets in.
And the bicycle seat harness doesn't clear her pussy or even get close to it.
It's like it's like still back around her asshole.
And so like there's no way that this thing is going to come down and kukunk.
And like if she goes kukunk, she loses her whole fupa.
Like like like it's going to get mangled into the mechanism.
And she's just like and the guy comes over and he looks and he looks up at her and he's just like
i don't think it's gonna happen and and and and so her friend goes clickety clack and he gets out
of it and they leave and they did not have the fast pass so they had stood in the hot ass sun
beating down on you line for a minimum of an hour and 45 minutes but could have been three hours and just
got turned away to the fucking that's a shame that is sad oh it is sad we didn't laugh we felt bad
no you do feel bad like i remember i was waiting for the batman at the st louis six flags like
i was probably 15 like were you too tall for the ride were Taylor? Were they like, you're an adult man? I was like 15.
We were in line with some friends and just chatting.
And maybe 10, 12 people ahead of us, there was this guy who must have been 6'6".
And I'm not exaggerating here, 5,000 pounds.
You might be exaggerating.
Okay, I might be a little hyperbolic.
But he was the size of man that
my first thought wasn't like wow that guy is enormous my first thought was like what does
he think's gonna happen when he gets up to the batman like this is a you sit in your little
even tight harness on normal adult men pull your little strap down and then you go like what has
he never been on the ride is he not seeing people fly over us right now in this ride?
Like, what does he think is going to happen?
And like, once we got up there and he got seated, we were kind of like still entering
the room.
So you couldn't quite see his reaction or anything, but you could see him trying to
sit down with whoever he was with it, not making it.
And then him have to get off and leave.
And my, my only reaction was to like turn away because i felt
so bad and i was so embarrassed you couldn't have taken two seats does that not work no they're
they're like bucket seats where you have to and it's like a bucket seat with like that post that
goes between your legs and then the clickety thing that goes down and so you can't spill over your
seat if you don't fit it's a great ride just and he was even in lines four and five which are the plus size lines yeah well yeah that that could fool someone to thinking that there were combinations
because i've got that in my head the whole time they'll accommodate him is what he's thinking
oh yeah but if you're six six and 600 pounds everybody notices you lumbering off like yeah
it's not gonna happen have you ever had experience like that, Boogie?
In December,
I never tried.
I was just like, I know I'm too fat at 550. What planet
are they going to build rides for my fat ass?
I probably could have done
the Haunted Mansion or something like that, but I didn't
even want to bother doing that. I was just like, I'm here
for the food and for the fun. When I lose
the weight, and I know I will, that's when I'll do it.
We were fully prepared at 360.. I was about three 60 last December,
a little closer to three 40 today. Um, and, and I was fully prepared for a blowout and to go into
full Francis mode. So when we got to the Incredicoaster, I had my friend, my juggernauts
with me, like, grab your camera, Adam, grab your camera, and start filming because if I don't fit in this thing,
I'm going full-on Francis for a viral video.
Nope, I slid right in.
I was like, oh, my God.
Instead, they have footage of me successfully getting in the coaster.
See, you need to find rides that no grown man can fit into.
Right, right.
Trying to get on those.
That circular swing set thing
mr boogie these horses are 18 inches tall you can't sit on these i don't give a shit
one of these fucking horses under me i'm riding this bitch it's a baby carnival is that what it
is yeah i like taylor's taylor taylor's idea of that that big giant swing set where you're hanging from the chains.
I just imagine the inertia.
In the end, it was the centrifugal force that caused the collapse,
leading to the deaths of one very large man and 11 disappointed children.
It would be even funnier, though, if I was so fat that the centrifugal force couldn't
get me off the ground.
So I was running and going.
The whole thing is just teetering, the kids are screaming.
Man, this makes me want to go to the-
It's going so well.
That's great that you were...
That must have been such a cool feeling to answer going to those places.
I could never go to a roller coaster park and not ride the roller coasters. i i skip eating and stuff when i go to roller coaster parks because i'm like
no i'm here all day i'm gonna ride roller coasters 100 of the time oh oh my whole group is feeling
sick i don't care i'm going alone i don't like it when my group wants to make a big thing of eating
like to me like we're not there first of all the food's crazy expensive like a lemonade is like 18
dollars or something like that.
It's ridiculous.
Do they sell you on the refillable cup where you go?
All right.
Now, first of all, the answer is yes, and my take on the refillable cup is I always get it.
First of all, I have them somewhere in the kitchen.
Second of all, I drink at least 3,000 or 4 four thousand calories worth of lemonade throughout that day
like i usually go in july or something like that it's a big tall ass frozen lemonade that's a
disadvantage see i'm on the others i'm on the other team with this one because they're like yeah
you know the drink might be 24 but you get to keep this cup a plastic piece of shit cup the
size of a human head and uh we'll refill it for you if you want. Dude, what am I going to do
with the bucket all day long?
Like I have to carry this bucket around from roller coaster
to roller coaster? No, you just sit it next to your girlfriend's
purse. I just want to drink this
and throw it away and if I get thirsty
I want to buy another one.
My refillable cup is I buy their $9
Dasani and then just go to
the water fountain.
And then if I'm like, I don't want to lug this around, I throw it away and blow another $9 on Dasani and then just go to the water fountain. Smart, yeah. And then if I'm like, I don't want to lug this around, I throw it away and blow another
$9 on Dasani.
I'm telling you.
My beverage fund, my water fund has no, even beer, it's like $11.
You know what?
That's rolled into the price of this.
I guess I'll have one.
Yeah, I had no problem buying.
I always buy it.
And the best, and at Six Flags Over Georgia, it seems like you're always running into one
of the carts where you can refill it.
It's not like you're hunting that guy down.
There's like 30 of those carts, and you could just go up and refill your thing.
But I don't want to go into the sit-down restaurants.
I want to grab a corndog on the way to the next roller coaster.
I don't want to waste – I want to spend the entire day riding as many –
first of all, we're riding every single coaster in the park.
The question is how many times are we going to ride every roller coaster in the park? Well, is how many times are we gonna ride every roller coaster?
Well, you do like the way I do it always is I get Cedar Point if you've never been to Cedar Point and you
Like roller coasters anyone out there go to Cedar Point. It's in Ohio. It's fucking incredible. It's insane
Like my ideal plan is like I ride everything once and then I've done my fact-finding mission
And then I narrow that down to usually like 40% of those
my fact finding mission.
And then I narrow that down to usually like 40% of those,
the top,
the top tits ones.
And I'll ride those a few more times. Then you narrow it down even more.
And by the end of the day,
you got one that you're just over and over doing.
And the ideal eating situation in a park is for me to be buckling in.
And the guy saying,
sir,
you have to finish your corn dog.
And I'm like,
I got it.
I got it.
I sprinted.
Hold this stick.
Yeah. I did. I hold it. I got it. I sprinted. Hold this stick. Yeah.
I did.
Imagine the balls.
Hold this till I get back.
I did learn an interesting lesson about myself at Disney because I was always afraid with
my anxiety disorder.
I would not enjoy roller coasters.
Turns out, I don't.
I just scream the whole time I'm on them.
And so if Adam the Woo has filmed a lot of you, the video
that we did at Disney, it's literally
me riding Space Mountain and
screaming. I ruined everybody else's
experience. I know that I know.
Why is it like this? Why can't I see
anything? Who's enjoying this?
Space Mountain is a roller coaster
for babies, Boogie. That is a weak
ass. That is some pussy shit
you're screaming at you know
how they say not to put your hands up there because they're like you can lose your hand
i remember making my brother cry when we were very little because i was like oh oh oh oh
he was like put your arms down taylor put your arms down you gotta lose your hands i wanted to
be like i'm fucking 10 no i'm not we got on uh the incredible coaster was way more
intense because it does like the loops and stuff right yeah um but space mountain being in the dark
is what really got me i don't know why that was terrifying i couldn't you can't see anything i
like those the uh there's there's one at six flags that goes it's like a i can't think of the name
but it goes into like a mine shaft and there's a part where and it sprays you with mist which is
wonderful on a hot awful humid day anyway because you're like moving 50 miles per hour getting
sprayed with mist in the dark and then out of nowhere it goes down you have no way to like
prepare yourself or like brace yourself it's just young and you're fucking down and and you don't
know when it's gonna stop you can't see the bottom it's it's great in the dark the uh like the dark ones because like i unless i'm out in the light i don't have a way
to gauge how fast i'm going and that's the fun part of roller coasters is how fast you're going
and like if i'm out in the open i can see something i'm like holy fuck there's a highway
right there and it looks like those cars are standing still i two scariest rides i've ever been on are um goliath at uh at six legs over georgia it goes really high and you're not it
they always mess and mess with and come up with new things for you to sit in and in goliath you're
it's not a booth type thing you know where you like get in you slide into like a bench and pull the lap bar down. No.
You sit on a tiny stool, essentially,
and there's a lap bar that's big enough for one person that's all cushiony that goes down just over your thighs.
It's holding you in by your thighs alone.
And you're just like,
I feel like I could just get out if I wanted to.
And it's clickety clickety clickety clickety
clickety and it's go it's so goddamn high it's i don't know how high but i'm gonna say 200 feet or
something and i just remember oh yeah 200 feet in the sky when you get to the top but i just remember
on the way up being like god i wish i weren't here right now if i could do this and just not
be here anymore i I would probably do
it. This is so goddamn scary. But then I wrote it again right after. But the scariest ride is
Acrophobia, which is the fear of heights, right? Acrophobia. And it is the thing that you get in,
and it literally just takes you straight up over 200 feet and then drops you straight down. And
they do that bullshit where they're like hey welcome to
six flags over georgia you are now 210 feet above the in the georgia sky if you look off to the east
you'll see atlanta georgia and that yes that is the georgia dome and oh what what is that mike is
did the boat come loose all right stop stop and then he'll drop you he'll like pull some bullshit
like that he'll actually there's a problem with the fucking mechanism.
And he's nervous and scared. And then
he drops your ass.
It's a free fall all the way to the ground.
And it doesn't start slowing down until you're
20 feet from the ground. And it goes
vroom. And when it stops
you're inches from the ground.
It's just one of the drop rides.
But it's a big one. It's just straight down.
But it's so straight down and so fast.
And we get to the top and he's going through his bullshit spiel and I've already done it
a couple of times.
It's still terrifying, but my friend next to me and we're like shoulder to shoulder.
He is terrified.
We're in like the 10th grade in high school and I reach over to his and start trying to
trying to break his loose, like trying trying to pull him out of the ride
and throw him out 200 feet in the air.
Of course the mechanism isn't going to come undone.
I'm peeling at the foam, plasticky shit,
tearing it off of his.
I'm like, look at this.
It's so cheap.
It's just tearing apart.
And he's like, stop it.
Stop it.
Are you damaging the equipment, Kyle?
A little.
A little.
Just enough to be funny, though.
I love roller coasters.
I like all of them.
I haven't been on the ones you're talking about,
but I haven't been on one yet that I don't want to be on again.
I love them.
I'm hearing this.
I'll do Space Mountain again, and I will do...
Sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt,
but I'll do Space Mountain.
I'll do Incredicoaster again.
Have any of you done the Guardians
of the Galaxy's ride?
No, is that Disneyland?
Disney World? It's a drop ride and it's the
replacement for the Tower of Terror
and the Tower of Terror dropped like once or
maybe twice but apparently the Guardians of the Galaxy
ride can drop you as much as
four or five times and we got like
the four drop and
the first drop was okay the second one
i was over it the third one i did not want to do this anymore and yeah i will never that's the
only thing i'll ever not rock what's the point of a drop ride other than to feel your testicles
come out of your mouth what i think they're fun they do it well well. Yeah, I don't like drop rides either. I like drop rides. I like all the rides. But they drop you, and I go on a drop ride, and in my head, I'm like, all right, I'm a
roller coaster veteran.
This won't scare me.
But they do.
They scare me with the drop, and they scare me with the timing, where like, all right,
I anticipate the drop.
They drop you like six inches.
They drop you one inch.
They drop you 12 inches.
They drop you 300 feet feet or whatever it is but uh i'm hearing kyle talk about these rides and the
i'm gonna take them i bought tandem paramotor equipment today it's not here for a few weeks
but i'm like i'll take you on a ride i swear to god it will ruin roller coasters for you
i get sick with like twirly stuff and like like that thing. That is a concern, yeah. I mean, we couldn't do it again and again.
But I...
Yeah, this one...
I'm hearing 200 feet
and I'm like, dude,
4,000 to 500.
You've ever been sucked up into a cloud?
I can't wait to share this experience.
One of the roller coasters from Cedar Point,
my favorite one from Cedar Point,
was the Millennium Force, which is, which is says here 310 feet tall and it's a traditional
roller coaster so you're on a roller coaster the top speed of it no it's metal it's 93 miles an
hour is the top speed and so you like the first time i was on it, I was like, it was so fast. I never felt
my organs push back like that.
It was that fucking...
Until I went on the roller coaster there that goes
125 miles an hour, and then that was more intense.
That's really fast.
I've got to go to this place now.
It's sick, dude.
Ones in Atlanta, I think, go like 70, 75.
You're talking about 95, 120.
There's one of them in Atlanta that makes me black out
when I get to the bottom of the loop. It's a standup coaster. So it's more likely to get
the blood to leave your brain, but it does like a backwards loop. You're going backwards and doing
a loop. And when it does that backwards loop and you get to the bottom of that again, gravity is doing
and the centrifugal force is driving all of the
blood away from your brain.
Every time I go through that loop and get to the bottom of it,
I'm like, I'm blind. I'm blind.
I'm blind. Oh, here we are again!
Here we are again!
Oh!
I went to Cedar Point, but it's so
long ago. For all intents
and purposes, I haven't been there.
20 years ago or something like that.
Yeah, they probably got a lot of new rides.
Yeah, but they pride themselves on being the best roller coaster place in America.
And if someone's better, they just remedy that.
I bet the Japanese are good at that shit.
They seem to really have that advanced maglev train technology.
You would think that the same
companies that are into that are
making some shit. They just fuck with you in another way.
Like, it's not attached.
It gets further from the track and scares you.
You just get sucked back on.
That'd be fun.
Yeah, I'd like that.
Those are the cool rides that they have now anyway.
Instead of dragging you up a hill and letting gravity take over,
they use the electromagnetic.
They, like, propulse you.
Of course, the fastest roller coaster in the world is in the United Arab Emirates,
and it goes 150 miles an hour.
What the fuck?
Oh, God, why?
I like both, Kyle.
I like the ones where you're at the bottom,
and they just jet you up the hill.
That's a neat way to start.
And it can be a little surprising the first couple times.
But I also like the anticipation and the unease that comes with that chain ratcheting.
And the whole roller coaster seemingly falling back a link every so often.
What just happened with that part?
Was that on purpose?
And as much as they like to fuck with you,
like the operators,
about, uh-oh, got a little trouble here, folks.
I've been to enough roller coaster parks
and days of doing it.
You see some of those instances
where it's like, oh, look,
everybody on the Ninja's stuck upside down.
And then you go get your corn dog
and you come back and you're like,
I'm getting a little sunburn out here.
You got the sunscreen? You want me to put it on? Hey, are they still upside down. And then you go get your corn dog and you come back and you're like, I'm getting a little sunburn out here. You got,
you got the sunscreen.
Yeah.
I mean,
but hey,
are they still upside down on the Ninja?
Yeah.
Fuck.
Most dangerous roller coaster that I ever heard of.
It really isn't.
It's not even that cool.
It's called the mouse.
It's in ocean city,
New Jersey.
It probably goes,
I don't know,
19,
23 miles an hour somebody dies every year on that fucking
yes people get decapitated by loose cables people lose limbs like that shit sleep on the house that
is like a carny operated but permanent like roller coaster coaster that's just poorly maintained.
Don't sleep on the mouse, man.
That'll fuck you up.
Is it one of those roller coasters that you'll see at a fair and you walk over to it and you're like,
did they just fold this out of a box?
Yes, yes, but they leave it there every year.
They construct it this afternoon.
They have a permanent place for it.
It's probably not there anymore, but this is me growing growing up And it was a temporary rollercoaster
Permanently at this place
Jillian's at 7th street or something
And yeah that guy who you know
Effectively killed someone every so often
Was our mayor
I got assaulted
I got assaulted
At Six Flags when I was
16
We were standing in line for
What's it called? The Scream Machine,
which is a really big wooden coaster. And it's very old. My parents rode the Scream Machine as
teenagers, I think. And there's two couples. It's me and a girl and another guy and a girl.
And I'm like, ah, yes. this is, I do this thing sometimes,
especially with people that I mess with them a little.
I tell this long, elaborate lie.
And at the end of it, I said, they're like, wow, really?
And I go, no, no, not at all.
I made all that up.
And I'm just like, this is the scream machine constructed in 1923,
originally from Coney Island.
1923.
That's right.
This roller coaster served for 50 years in Coney Island until it was deconstructed in 1973
and brought piece by piece down to Atlanta.
You see the salt air up there?
Just doing a number on the old girl.
But down here in sunny Georgia, she's restored to new,
and she actually goes eight miles per hour faster down here.
This is a piece of history.
And the girl goes, wow, really?
And I go, no.
No, dummy.
I just made all that shit up.
I don't know anything about fucking.
And she slapped me so fucking hard.
Good for her.
So fucking hard.
I mean, it was an audible pow.
She's on team words have consequences i can tell all because you lied about a roller coaster who cares
because she thought i had made her look stupid because she believed me and i had to some extent
but i you know i i weaved a good yarn there and and i ain't holding against her you know there's
you didn't make her look stupid that like if somebody lies to me about something I know nothing about,
if someone's like, actually, the Charizard Pokemon card from 1998,
it's worth $28,000 now.
Wow.
That's crazy.
Really?
Like, no.
No, idiot.
Ha ha.
You didn't know the value of Pokemon cards from 21 years ago.
It is possible that I had been doing this to her all day,
and I just don't remember.
It is quite possible that every step of the way throughout her journey
had been like, and this is the Atlanta Turnpike,
originally constructed in 1917 in Omaha, Nebraska.
Yes, they brought the entire roadway here to Georgia.
I may have been doing that all day.
Even though Eisenhower initiated the roadway here to georgia and reese like i may have been doing that all day and even though eisenhower initiated the roadway system this was it was a lone highway here in georgia uh the day i was at
disney uh was the day i walked a total of nine miles that day keep in mind i was in a wheelchair
two years ago so i was pretty much in a lot of pain i was about to pass out and i thought man
here i am am in miserable pain
in one of the happiest places on Earth.
Disneyland is the happiest place on Earth, supposedly.
And we walk by this couple
sitting in front of one of the theaters
in the Disney California Adventures,
the secondary park there.
And they were just going at it.
I don't remember what it was,
but that woman was just unloading on her husband for whatever
boyfriend so going at it they were fighting they weren't fucking it can mean more than right no i
wish at first i thought i thought that way better they were going at it and he was unloading on her
like i would i would pay to see that at the disneyland like is he finger banging this
chick at the magic uh kingdom anyway nope it's the other thing uh they were just screaming at each well he was she was doing
most of the screaming and he was doing most of the calming and and i don't know what she was upset
about she was kind of a bigger girl he was kind of a smaller guy maybe she didn't fit on a ride
or maybe she was tired or just irritated i was tired i was irritated those $28 hot dogs could
have very well been that um
and all i could think was number one you're doing this to the happiest place on earth this the
second thing i could think was you're ruining all these other people's time except mine because i'm
laughing my ass like this is hysterical to watch her like get because she's sitting on a bench
because she's obviously having him tired and he's standing up in front of her like,
baby, I'm sorry. Can you calm down, baby? I'm sorry.
And so you're affecting
all these people that are...
People paid $200 for the ticket.
Listen, I only brought you to get to the front
of the line. You get your big
ass up. Put that $28
hot dog down and let's get on the screen.
I'm thinking if I'm in that situation
and she needs to sit,
then I need to walk.
Fuck this.
I'm not here to absorb your abuse.
Come on.
Piggyback style.
Literally.
No,
no.
Like you sit there.
I'll circle back in 90 minutes and see if you're still pissed.
Just say,
I got a poop and then go do your own thing for an hour.
Right.
Let her,
let her calm.
Right.
Yeah.
Go get,
go do guardian.
She used to ride a crazy street from guardians galaxy. Go. Let her calm. Right. Yeah. Go do Guardians. You ride a crazy street from Guardians of the Galaxy.
Go ride Guardians of the Galaxy.
She ain't fitting on that, dude.
So it's going to be okay.
Go ride something.
Let her calm down.
Let her eat like six or seven bags of popcorn and two churros.
And she's going to be fine.
You're going to go in debt.
Right?
Six or seven bags of popcorn.
Do they have financing?
No shit.
You were talking about them going at it when I was thinking, just like everybody else, that they were fucking.
I was like, oh, the good folks definitely not doing totally illegal things at DickFlash.com would like that.
Boogie, if you don't know, DickFlash.com is a website where people share stories, and videos of themselves like flashing women really
in public and they talk about it they talk about it like it's totally normal like they'll share
tips like here's a way to do it now number one is make sure there are no minors around it's like oh
i'm glad you have your ethical bases covering you fucking creep and then like they'll talk about oh
you know another tactic i do is i'll get real hard and close while still in my creep and then like they'll talk about oh you know another tactic
i do is i'll get real hard and close while still in my pants and then i'll pull out real quick and
come and then drive away otherwise they escape on a way or something and like and i was i was
looking at the forum again a couple days ago trying to find funny stuff to to talk about
and i scrolled down further i scrolled down further than i ever had you know how forums
are where it's like it's like uh general discussion this that this thing and then it gets to the bottom and it'll
be like like random or politics and this dickflash.com has a politics section where you can
click and the guy's name will be like hung daddy's 69 his photo his profile picture is just his dick and some woman going like
and he'll have a post that's like i am tired of this fascist president uh taking advantage of our
our civil liberties and and starting a war with north korea and lying about the media. And then some guy named like, you know,
I don't fucking know, Dick Lover 22
will respond and be like,
I can't believe the ignorance of your statement.
Frankly, Trump has done a better job
than most recent presidents.
And the fact that you would say this
really displays your ignorance on the subject.
By the way, I love that photo you posted
of masturbating at Guardians of the subject. By the way, I love that photo you posted of masturbating
at Guardians of the Galaxy.
And it's these people
like, you can click on their profile
and see the shit that they're doing
and they'll just seamlessly flow
from talking about, man, I just want to go up
to women on the beach and cum on them.
You know, universal
healthcare is...
I went to Olive Garden last week and I blew in this lady's salad bowl.
She didn't even know.
I like the part where he...
By the way, I liked your picture of coming and guarding the island.
I saw an aviation argument or something.
The aviation part is not important.
What's fun, though, is there are a handful of sign-offs that you use in aviation.
And they kept using those in their angry arguments.
So it's like, you don't fucking know what you're talking about.
Trump is number one.
Blue skies to you, sir.
No, the fact that you think that tells me how much of an idiot you are.
Soft landings to you, good sir.
And they just kept using these like, yeah.
I hate that. I hate that.
I hate that when people drag politics into other things that every...
There are a few things that like nobody's going to agree on.
Let these people break the law and flash people in peace.
Just stick...
There are some things that no one can agree on,
and politics is one of them.
And then there are some things that like everyone here at least,
and by here I mean in that forum or in that particular chat room,
can agree on.
We're all into blue skies and soft landings in here, motherfucker.
Let's leave the orange guy out of it and everything will be cool.
And, you know, we're all into essentially sexually assaulting women by pulling our penises out
in public, apparently, over there at dickflash.com.
I need to find some of the screenshots of stories i've seen
it is beyond ridiculous like that it's so funny reasonably posting things that are
absolutely illegal they'll even say things in comments like be careful don't want to end up
in jail and it's i can't relate to wanting to show can any of you relate to showing a stranger
your dick yeah yeah i don't want to show you i've dated for like
three months my dick honestly well honestly i'm not gonna touch that literally but but i i would
yeah i mean if it all right if there were an attractive lady and there weren't any minors
around as taylor said if it were legal i'd love to be able to be like hey look at this
and regardless of her reaction i think
it'd be kind of titillating and funny for me you know but but but it's it's illegal so so i i don't
i don't do that i wish it worked like i have in my head if if a woman could walk by naked and be
like you know you could have this if you wanted it it would work but when a guy does that, it doesn't work. No, you go to jail.
This is a hypothetical, alternative universe.
I still think women would be like, no, I don't think so.
You've got to be in the right environment.
What you're assuming is that it's an attractive woman doing that.
Imagine the woman that we were talking about in that theme park screaming at her husband.
And she pulls out all her jelly rolls and is like, I'm sick of this man. He won't buy me
another churro. Who wants to fuck me
for a churro?
That would be sexual assault, dude.
That would straight up be sexual assault.
Here's a nice little
story that I saved because it
made me laugh.
This is from DickFlash.com.
I've been teasing this older delivery guy for months.
He always comes in and puts the food on the table,
and I am playing straight gangbang porn and sporting a visible boner.
He has lingered longer each time.
This time I had been wanking and edging for several hours,
so I just went for it.
I answered the door with just an open white dress shirt
and a pair of over-the-counter counter black socks wanking with a full heart on.
Then I sat on the sofa while he put our food while he put out the food, put my legs up on the coffee table, spread wide just inches from his face.
He was definitely into it, but said he had to get back.
Still, he stayed and watched me a good five minutes and was hard as a rock.
He said, maybe we can arrange a time someday.
This guy, he's still a follow-up someone said someone said to him fuck yeah thanks for sharing a fucking awesome success don't forget to update as it progresses did you know that we're
going to go for broke when you ordered or were you just so fucking horny you couldn't stop stroking
was he setting up the food on the coffee table between your legs? Wish I had a pick. He responds,
I've been more blatant each time.
Last time I had my dick sticking out of the fly
in my boxers. This time I was so
horned up I ripped off my boxers when he
rang the bell. He was crouched down
putting the food slowly on the table, so I
put one foot on either side of his face
and lewdly spread my hairy legs
wide apart, jacking with
my pre-cum as lube and squeezing
my left nipple.
Pre-cum as lube?
He's squeezing his nipple.
I'm starting to think this belongs to
that hat.
And then he posts and he says, this is the
porn I had on. And it just says
just a link and it says, X videos.
Dad and daughter.
Hot. Gotta love that.
All right.
This is a forum of lots of these people.
We've covered the basis of the illegal ways to show your penis to a stranger.
What are some of the legal ways?
The first one that came to my mind, and I've seen this on X Hamster, which is my, uh, website is the guy goes to get his balls waxed.
He goes to get like a,
a,
a full wax down there.
And so it seems painful,
but he's clearly into that because he ejaculates about halfway through.
And she does.
And he's filming by the way,
like he has his phone in some like weird, like in his pocket or something like that. Recording this, this, he's laying back and he's filming by the way like he has his phone in some like weird like in his pocket or something like that
Recording this this he's laying back and he's like so you have to take off all your clothes
And he's just like I did and he's naked with a helmet and a GoPro
Fucking IMAX camera on oh just a 4k you gook bitch
And like halfway and she's like oh oh no oh like she's she doesn't react the way i would react if i'm waxing a man's first of all that'd be an interesting job there's
gotta there are guys out there who definitely wax other guys balls and that's their fucking job
they're like yeah i do i wax guys balls and that's not an offensive accent because there's their fucking job. They're like, yeah, I wax guys' balls. And that's not an offensive accent
because there's no fucking way those guys are straight.
I'd want to...
I think I'd want a gay guy.
I think he'd be nicer.
You know, I'd prefer a woman.
Actually, choice one is not waxing my balls.
I think so.
You got me thinking about it.
Here's what's buzzing in my head.
I once had a guy cut my hair it's a long time ago and he practically put me in a headlock like he would
like he was showing that he wasn't like an effeminate guy he held my head and he's like
and i legit had like a hearing a sheep and i'm like yeah and i'm like am i supposed to like
fight this person i feel like he's bullying me.
What the fuck is happening here?
I talked to a co-worker who went to the same guy
and got the same thing happen to him
and he had the same kind of social dilemma.
What is with this fucking guy
showing me that how strong he is
as a hairdresser or something?
Maybe he wanted to roll.
I don't know.
They call me Vinny who's definitely definitely not gay, Spirelli.
That's why I got hairs so aggressively.
Yeah.
Yeah.
For a while, I never went back to him.
I didn't tip him well.
But I was like, I don't know what I'm supposed to.
At one point, I think I did.
I was like, dude.
And he lightened up, maybe just temporarily.
It wasn't a good situation. That's no good. You don't want that at all. I'm like, dude. And he lightened up maybe just temporarily.
It wasn't a good situation.
That's no good.
You don't want that at all.
So you could definitely go get waxed and be nude, and that's all A-okay.
You're supposed to be naked.
You can go to a nude beach.
I have a – so I've had more sun than most people.
I was a lifeguard surfer, et cetera.
So now and again, I have to go to the dermatologist and get checked out.
Are my shoulders good or this and that?
You should go monthly.
And she's like,
I had boxers on, and that's it.
And she's like, do I need to check in there?
And I'm like,
I mean, no,
because I didn't surf naked.
But should I say yes?
Like in the interest of being thorough?
Like what Jackie said. I always say yes at the dermatologist.
Let me call my wife.
I'm not sure.
And they're like,
do you want us to check here too?
Did I pay for part of a doctor's appointment?
Or are you checking me all out?
No, you're doing your job
and you're making sure there's nothing anywhere.
So you say yes,
check out my dick for skin cancer.
Yeah, who cares?
Which is practically never seen sun.
I wasn't saying necessarily skin cancer, but if you got a rash or a bump or something and they're checking you out for anything and they're like, do you want us to check down there too?
It's like, yeah.
Sure.
That's somewhere bad things can happen as well.
But in the realm of sun exposure check.
Oh, then yeah.
It's almost like, hey, you want me to look at your dick?
Huh.
Well, I doubt it has sun exposure problems.
I would be way more self-conscious about a doctor checking out my ass than my dick.
Yeah.
Because if your ass, I would just feel like, oh oh it's probably so hairy and gross back there oh
ew but then you'd also have to remember this guy looks at asses all the time and in the grand
spectrum of asses i'd like to think i'm at least the very worst near the mean uh you're wrong about
that i guarantee you have a top tier hairy ass and and it's just a thicket back there and he's
just like he's just like one of those fucking British explorers who's going for the Amazon for the first time.
Nigel, can you see anything up there?
No, sir.
No, sir.
Come on.
Make heads and tails of it.
When you say you're near the mean tailor, I got to believe that you're worse than almost every woman.
So that right there puts you at like average at best.
So you have to be average on guys at best.
That's bottom quartile.
I just don't want to be the ass he remembers when he goes home that night
when his wife's like, how was your day?
And he's like, oh, my God.
This hairy motherfucker came in.
I tried to get out of it, but he said, check my ass.
Did I pay for half a doctor appointment?
Did I pay for half a doctor visit?
You asshole.
He's very aggressive.
Yeah, you can go to a nude beach.
There are like swingers clubs where it's like real clothing optional.
You can wear as much or as little as you want.
There's like nude colonies here
in Atlanta. You can just go and chill by
the pool or just
go walking in the wilderness and everybody's
naked there. So I don't know
why these guys don't pick a setting like that
where people have essentially
agreed to be in a position
to see your dick.
I guess it's the thrill. Why am I asking the question?
It's their exhibitions.
They get off on the, ooh, I'm going to go be naughty.
I'm not supposed to be doing that.
People shoplift who can afford things.
There's a thrill to it.
It's a thrill to it. I love stealing stuff all the time.
Mostly 9-volt batteries.
They're just overpriced.
I just feel like they're charged too much for them
and I refuse to pay it.
Can I admit that even though I
have decent money,
I was tempted to shoplift
something right after my divorce.
Really? I didn't care what it was.
What were you thinking? Oh, just Malamars.
I didn't really care. I was just, I was at Walmart
and I was like,
I haven't felt anything in a while
and I used to shoplift as a teenager
when I was broke. I shoplifted when I was homeless. I was like, that used to give anything in a while. And I used to shoplift as a teenager when I was broke.
I shoplifted when I was homeless.
I was like,
that used to give me such a thrill.
And if I got caught,
I would just be like,
Oh,
I accidentally put it in my pocket.
I'll pay for it.
Here's a big stack of money.
You can see I'm clearly white.
Don't prosecute.
Right?
Exactly.
Right.
And so I told him,
I grabbed a candy bar off of like the candy shelf and i'm like
i guessed it i'm gonna put this in my pocket i'm gonna put this in my pocket because this is what
i used to steal and steal it which candy bar was it i don't remember milky way probably three
musketeers one of those and i just i ended up paying for it i i still i was like man this would
be a dumb reason to get in any trouble it a YouTuber or whatever. Boogie298's shoplifting.
No, it would be
Boogie2988 steals
candy bars.
That's what the story would be.
And they'd edit the picture to be you
eating the candy bar and looking like
you'd been
surprised that there was a camera
taking a picture like...
You're like hunched over in the outdoor section, like Gollum, eating your fucking candy bar.
There's enough, like, YouTube videos of people making shit up right now.
So, oh, yeah, right?
Wait.
Making stuff up about you?
I'm not myself when I'm hungry.
Yeah, like, making up shit about me.
Like, the pay for my healthcare scandal.
You remember that?
Like, when I was,
Hey,
Bernie Sanders wants to help people get healthcare.
That's a good thing.
Everyone should have healthcare.
And that turned into boogie wanting people to pay for his healthcare too.
And I could pay for my healthcare and your healthcare and 10 other people's
healthcare.
I don't need help paying for my healthcare.
I want you dumb fucks to not go bankrupt when you go to the fucking
hospital,
when you broke your shoulder,
right?
You know, well on that note, I see where you're coming from.
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Well, from him anyway.
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I'm going to be honest with you.
I'm thinking about ordering some of that blue
chew and i'll tell you five dollars five dollars shipping your first three pills are free you're
gonna take it and be like wow i'm i'm i'm feeling i'm feeling good i'm feeling hard i've really been
disappointing myself lately when i masturbate because i've not been as hard i can't stay as
hard as long it's really depressing and dying alone uh i do i don't want to disappoint
myself you know yeah yeah right that's that's such a sad way to look at it right you're looking at
your own dick you think disappointing a woman in bed is depressing have you ever disappointed
yourself today yeah no i I'm not even kidding.
You feel like a limp-dicked idiot.
Look, it's $5 shipping,
and if you don't want any more,
it doesn't start auto-doing stuff to you
or anything like that.
You pay for the shipping and handling,
and they send you this little card
with three pills in it.
One pill is enough to get you going.
I take two at a time.
They don't recommend that,
and I don't recommend it to anyone else.
No, they actually do.
One, they say one or two on their package.
Well, sometimes I eat four if I'm being completely honest.
Oh, Kyle, with your jokes, your silly jokes.
Your silly jokes.
Yes.
Because you use it as recommended.
Yes, always as recommended.
Oh, my doctor prescribed me 40 milligrams at a time.
So I feel like, you know, I can chew as much as I want.
Well, my blue chew doctor is a different doctor.
I have a doctor that I go see in person and he's in any case.
Try some blue chew.
Just try it.
It's $5.
It's $5.
You will not find a cheaper way to get your penis hard nearly as effectively
or as safely because those
rhino 69 billion dick pills
at the gas station
they are scary town and there's all kinds of
stuff in there that you don't need
I only buy dick pills at gas stations where it's a picture
of a holographic animal and then
a bootleg Chinese version of Pikachu
with like the top hat on
yeah don't buy that shit
and I always say it but I'll say it one more time or I'll say it every time the ad comes on. Don't buy that shit. And I always
say it, but I'll say it one more time, or I'll say it every
time the ad comes on, but I'll say it one more time tonight.
Get the Tadalafil,
not the Sildenafil.
And the difference is Sildenafil is
Viagra and Tadalafil is
Cialis.
I've seen people make this sort of
sales point that, oh yeah, Viagra is if you
need a boner right now.
And Cialis is like one of those heartburn medications that you need to take for a week
to get them in your system.
No, no.
The Viagra might kick in a little bit faster, like 20 minutes faster, but the Cialis will
last you, in my experience, it feels like it lasts 48 hours.
You take one and for 48 hours you have enhanced penis conditioning i have a question
it kicks in in 45 minutes i would say so does i i know that it impacts like the penis's performance
but does it have any impact on the mind's desire no no um not at all no it's it's not messing with any of that stuff you are able to
get it up again faster like like after you after you finish after you come like if you want to go
again like immediately you can and even that might have some sort of like oh shit if we're here
already like you know in terms of desire. I'm just wondering.
Let's jump to this story.
What you got here?
Where are we going here?
I have a feeling it's not Kohl's Cheaper Than Solar.
Yu-Gi-Oh! tournaments to penalize players for being smelly.
Good.
Wait, start over?
I talked over you. Would you say it again?
Oh yeah, Yu-Gi-Oh! tournaments to penalize players for being
smelly. What kind of tournament?
Yu-Gi-Oh! It's like a card game.
I never played it, but
it's very, very popular. And so, good
for them. That's great.
Magic the Gathering, take a page out of
Yu-Gi-Oh!'s book right now.
Hacks East! Are you listening?
Six or eight months now,
Magic the Gathering has had it in the floor rules where you're
supposed to be and it's but it's up to a judge's discretion uh but i have heard stories of people
getting thrown out of events because look you can't play here you're breaking one of the rules
you're disqualified you're out of the tournament um because they just smell too bad but the problem
is i'm sorry i know i just put uh fifteen thousand dollars into a
gaming store and the reason i did it because he was wanting to open a second one that's an uh our
stores are registered as lbgtq uh safe zone so there's always somebody there if you have an lbgtq
issue you want to talk to somebody there's somebody there to talk to like an lbgtq gaming issue like
about magic like my red burn deck sucks and i don't know
how to make it better is harry potter gay or just dumbled what is the relationship
we will answer questions about that but we will also talk about any other issues you have right
and then here's the thing every gaming store is a safe zone right obviously right you're not going
to come there and be a shithead we're going to throw you out but we wanted to go that extra mile because we're less than an hour away from harrison arkansas
where the current grand wizard of the klu klux klan preaches his hate every fucking sunday
and it annoys them so it's just a nice little thing to do just to fuck that guy right fuck
that guy still a grand wizard of the kkk yeah it's still taylor in harrison arkansas right now
the way your hockey bracket has turned out, Taylor,
pretty soon you're going to be getting real close with the Grand Wizard.
He's going to be contacting you.
Do you think he'll give me a discount on the hood?
I absolutely do.
Thank you, Will.
It was so fun.
In our text chat, Woody looks confused.
I don't see how the KKK is related to the hockey brackets.
I didn't make that up.
Yeah, I'm curious.
I was so – So basically, I know
Boogie doesn't follow hockey at all.
Can I? Because I remember another tidbit.
We did hockey brackets, and
we're texting Taylor and I. It's in the group chat
actually with all of us, and
basically he said,
you should really not just go
opposite of me on every pick.
You should take some of the gimmies, you know, like Tampa over Columbus.
And I'm like, no, absolutely not.
I'm taking the exact opposite of you.
That is the way that I can win this thing.
And he goes, if that happens, I'll literally kill myself.
And I wrote back, deal.
And then he replies back like three minutes later, if that happens, I'll literally wear myself. And I wrote back deal. And then he replies back like three minutes later,
if that happens,
I'll literally wear a grand wizard hood,
like clan hood on the show.
And I go,
and I go deal.
He's making bets.
If that happens,
I'll do something and you'll do nothing.
The context for this boogie is Tampa Bay had the best record in NHL history
or tied it this regular season.
And they're playing Columbus who barely snuck into the playoffs at the end.
And I was saying, oh, Tampa Bay in five.
Takes four to win the series.
And Kyle goes, nope, Columbus in four.
They're going to sweep them.
And I was like, that is beyond retarded.
Nobody on earth has that pick i'll wear a clan
hood if you're right about that columbus swept them four to nothing there's literally one guy
in the world who has a bracket that might still be correct because everybody picked that wrong
and so two if you count me and the penguins got swept and you picked that wrong. Two if you count me.
And the Penguins got swept and you picked that one too?
They suck.
I had them losing too.
I love what is just sheer anger
and bigotry towards the Penguins.
It's hard.
Heated rivalry. I love it.
I was telling Kitty about this today.
I was like,
I'm pretty sure that if I had gotten in one of those high-end
brackets where you pay $100, I'd be on course to be a millionaire. today i was like i'm pretty sure that if i had gotten in one of those high end brackets like
where you pay a hundred dollars i'd be on course to be a millionaire right i'd be of course to win
like a million dollar payday off this bracket alone like because it it has gone so well in my
way through no i don't know about hockey like i don't know i i really don't i couldn't
name more than three or four teams you know and it's just it's just ridiculous that
taylor's picks were so bad i i don't i shouldn't be getting any praise it should be shit onto
taylor yeah yes by the way can you imagine watching as much hockey as i do and picking
all of them wrong every year to be clear for the Blues game tonight, go Jets go. Let's go Jets.
Jets beat the Blues.
Knock us out in six games.
All my energy is behind you.
Kyle didn't even know who he picked.
Kyle just said, I'll take the opposite of Taylor.
Whatever that might be.
And he's doing really well.
He's going to win.
Oh, I'm going to win.
I'm pretty sure it's a lock.
I don't know.
I'm doing poorly because I had
Tampa Bay to win the Cup. So there's a whole lot
of losses in my future.
I think on that pick alone, I've won.
You also picked the
Avalanche to beat Calgary in a huge upset
and that might happen tonight. And if it is,
you've, at the end of round
one, won the competition.
Yeah, yeah. A whopping
$10 is coming my way boys and girls um no
15 because of chis right oh because of chis oh wow i was yeah but if i'd entered in an actual
i never do this bracket things because it's i like that one kind of for obvious reasons here's
something i never understood it's like the lines we draw in this country about about legality and
certain things like the brackets are fine. It's gambling.
The lottery is fine. It's gambling.
But as soon as you set up a backyard
roulette wheel and
start taking bets, you've committed
some felony. I just don't get it.
Yeah, that is weird.
Why is that?
You need to have a certain amount of capital behind you.
Is it because your backyard roulette
would be more likely to have a magnet in it somewhere? Well mean yeah oh maybe that has nothing to do with it no just some states
don't only there's only legal gambling in indian reservations vegas and atlantic city as far as i
know it's bullshit and then the whole thing with prostitution right prostitution is illegal
everywhere although i think it might be decriminalized in canada now which is pretty
cool but if i bring a camera
then now we're just making a pornographic movie and and i can i can i can pay you to
to have sex with all of these people and it's a-okay weird thing well so the logic is one is
making a product and the other is performing a service yeah but obviously that's silly but that's
you know what they should do is they should switch all of the terms and things in the prostitution world to like, yeah, I'm looking to find a personal juggler tonight.
I love juggling and I'm willing to pay $300 for a fine woman to come over and juggle for me.
$350 if she juggles behind her back. Yeah, and then
she comes over. She has her
juggling kit and her bowling pins.
She does a little juggling.
I'm sorry, prostitutes. You're going to have to expand your skill set
a little bit. You're going to do that.
And then you get
a video clip.
You get a video clip of that.
And then after a minute-long video clip
of her juggling, stop it. Then you move on to your sex sex i like to think it's just a clip of her never getting more
than two catches in a row i've only got an hour with you and you're not as good as you said you
why would you pay 300 for this i can't even catch taylor have i ever told you how to determine if a
prostitute is a prostitute or an undercover cop?
No, no, I've never been in that world.
Wow.
Give it a few years.
You offer to, you know, you find your lady and she may say, hey, we can do this and that for this and that.
No, no, no, no.
None of that for me.
However, I am interested in hiring this and that for this and that. No, no, no, no. None of that for me. However, I am interested
in hiring a nude model for some
photography.
Are you interested in that? It pays
quite well. A police
officer is going to say no
because there's nothing
illegal about nude photography. You can
walk up to women all day. Chief, he's using the
nude photograph thing again.
What a fucking idiot.
I don't know why all the cops in Taylor's head talk like this.
I thought what Kyle was going to say, and I got this from a TV show,
is it was a real TV show, like Cops or something.
The guy sat down, and she's like, hey, you know, $150, you want to go on a date?
And he goes, I want to touch your pussy.
And she's like, no, no, not so much that, but we could go on a date and all kinds of wonderful things happen.
No, let's start.
I want to touch your pussy right now.
And she's like, God.
She tried to get it back to something incriminating, and he just walked out.
And she goes, ah, that guy was a pro.
He knew what he was doing.
And clearly she wasn't. That guy was a pro? He was what he was doing. That guy was a pro?
He was doing it the right way?
Because a cop won't let you just touch your pussy
off the bed.
She was an undercover cop.
I want to touch your pussy.
I want to touch your pussy.
God, we got a shark on the line.
He was in the car with her.
There were cameras and stuff.
And a prostitute will. She will absolutely show you her there are cameras and stuff yeah so that's and a prostitute
will she will absolutely show you her pussy right away i've seen that happen that's a i've told the
story before but i'm code well no it's just what happened one night in fucking in fucking houston
taylor did i ever tell you about when we had the prostitute go into scott my cousin's um hotel room and start like loving up on him i i
would say oh yeah yeah yeah she's like two prostitutes hop in bed with him they're kissing
him and and like and he's asleep we have to keep his room because i paid for the fucking room so
i'm swap swap and we just go in he's he's all tuckered out it's it's 11 p.m midnight or something
like that and these two hot chicks get in bed with him and he's like he reacts like a young single man would he's like well hello all right all right and i'm like hey
scott you remember how we were going to find that special kind of lady to to mess with jeremy which
we had this plot to find a transsexual uh to to mess with jeremy and and sort of ruin his life i
suppose but it was just like a little like a good ruin his life as a joke yeah
as a joke you know as as friends did we weren't actually going to pull the trigger on that one
but it was a little jokey thing we'd done we talked about in the past and it clicked in his
head and he and he jumps up ready to fight literally like like do you have men in my bed
did i just kiss a man in front of my friends do you do you have a person with a penis in the bed
with me kissing me and and taking do i have to kill you all was his reaction and the girls immediately recognized violence as
someone in their line of work is want to do and then they're like no no no here are pussies
all right cool cool all right you had me going there for a minute i thought i was gonna have to
kill you all everybody in the room there for a minute and then I was going to have to kill you all. Everybody in the room. Everybody. All of you.
And then...
He did not take
well to that. I guess I wouldn't have
so much either. No, you wouldn't have
preferred to that.
Look, if you're not going to touch
the dick and balls,
well, eh,
it's a blowjob.
This is a strong point
if you only are sucking their dick
then it's not gay
it's like that
sopranos joke
he's like
do you remember your first blowjob
yeah I remember my first blowjob
how long did it take the guy to come?
Oh, I love that joke.
The point that I'm making is Yu-Gi-Oh! players smell bad.
They smell awful.
I like that.
Circle back.
So what's Yu-Gi-Oh!
Is that like Magic?
It's even lamer than Magic.
Magic's not lame. Magic's cool.
I don't know enough about Yu-Gi-Oh! to say anything.
I didn't say Magic was lame.
I still play Magic.
MTG Arena is fucking amazing.
It's great. I like it a lot.
Chiz plays so much MTG Arena.
Chiz doesn't play
shooters anymore. He plays MTG Arena.
That's all I've seen him play in months
and months. Maybe a year. He plays so much of it. He's got to be good at it. It plays MTG Arena. That's all I've seen him play in months and months. Maybe a year.
He plays so much of it. He's got to be good at it.
It's an awesome game.
You don't have to pay anything. I've said this so many
times. I won't say it anymore, but get into Magic the Gathering
Arena if you're out there and you're looking for a new fun
strategy game.
Is it complicated?
It's as complicated as Magic is,
which means it's a steep learning
curve. For the first hour, you're going to be like,
what are the phases?
I don't fully get it.
But after that, everything's going to start clicking.
And they simplified it enough to where, like,
with the auto-passing modes and stuff like that,
it's a lot easier to learn.
And it's got a really solid tutorial.
And now you can play against the PC
if you don't want to play against players
and embarrass yourself.
Honestly, Woody, it's like, you know how in poker,
like at Texas Hold'em,
you've got to remember whose turn it is a lot and whose turn it is to bet
and what your options are.
It's like check, bet, raise.
That's the hard part is learning that because there's steps like that involved,
and you just need to know when it's your turn
and the three or four things you're allowed to do during your turn.
And once you've got that down,
everything's written on the cards.
So you can even take a minute and be like,
all right, well, this does this and that
and that does that and that.
That's what I'm looking for.
When does the Halo co-op come out?
So it's already out.
I think some of it is, but it's coming out.
It's coming out one or two games,
one game at a time over the course of the year. Halo what? The Master Chief collection that's coming out it's coming out one one or two games one game at a time over the course of the year
halo what so the master chief um collection that's coming out for us for but it's already
out on xbox woody so you could play it on console like two years yeah yeah but but but they released
it on steam and uh or they are like one game at a time so like i think they're starting with like
people get mad if i get one of these wrong like i think they're starting with like people get mad
if i get one of these wrong but i think they're starting out with like maybe reach or odst or
some shit like that so it'll be like the end of the year the fall before you get all the way to
halo 3 which is all i care about i care about the trilogy that's the legit shit the stuff that
bungee made um do you happen to know if after this one it'll start going one two three or is it going to be reach two three than
one which is where they seem to be so far yeah it'll go one two three that's all that that just
makes sense to me um i just don't know the time frame and i don't know if they've released that
time frame but i'm very interested in it because you know we've all got nice pcs and it's a it's
just a great game and uh and i'd like to play with my friends. You know, I think Halo 1 and 2 maybe are just two-player co-op.
Could be wrong about that.
But I know that Halo 3, it seemed like you could play with four,
the way I remember it.
But it's been so many years since I've played it.
But I'm just, I'm really interested in seeing the cut scenes in 4K.
You know, I really want to play through that experience
again it's just such an amazing story they're making a tv show did that we mentioned that
briefly on pkn but showtime is producing a halo series and uh i hope they do a good job i hope
they give it the budget it deserves i don't know how expensive it is to do good space sci-fi now like like it
seems like special effects have come a good ways like the expanse for example i feel like they're
doing on a pretty small budget and it's gritty and it's raw but it gets the job fucking done
as far as i'm concerned the thing about halo is though you've got all those energy weapons and
blasters and the um you've got so many different kinds of aliens
like the Covenant is made up of like
maybe five or
six different races.
There's the elites and the brutes
and there's those giant monsters
that are composed of a bunch of worms that
are all living together to form one
big crazy entity and then there's
a little grub motherfuckers that are
demon, demon's there's so
many different aliens to make i don't know it seems like an expensive endeavor i hope showed
on game of thrones they talk about the dragon cgi budget all the time they talk about how the wolves
are too expensive i don't know why i guess it's true but i don't know why dire wolves are expensive
to do it seems like you could just have them closer to the camera
and make them look big like they do in Lord of the Rings.
They did in Lord of the Rings.
That's how Gandalf was seven foot tall the whole time.
He just sat closer to the camera.
You make a good point, to be honest.
I don't know why that is, that they can't do some camera trickery.
Maybe part of it is that they're going to do it in CGI,
and we know what wolves look like,
and making a wolf look legit is pretty expensive.
But if you've just got a big lizard-y thing,
I don't have anything to compare it to.
Yeah, that's a dragon, all right?
No, no.
I've seen dragons.
People are giving me a super hard time.
How tall is Gandalf?
Do you know?
Is it said? The actor? No.
In the character. Oh, no. I think he's just supposed to be a normal
adult male height. He's not supposed to be seriously
huge or anything. Maybe slightly taller. I think Ian McKellen is
5'11", 6'. Yeah. There's no
big to-do made about how giant he is.
Maybe it's him versus the dwarves.
There's a behind-the-scenes YouTube thing where they do a
really clever thing with the changing perspectives
on the tables. Have you seen that?
Yeah, I might have. It's incredible
what they did in Lord of the Rings. When you see how they
did it, where they've got... The way they did
the council
of Elrond, where they're all sitting
around and you see supposedly gandalf
and frodo sitting right next to each other like and you see the the warped kind of weird
perspectives and background layouts they used it that's why that movie is so much fucking better
than the hobbit it's because they did practical effects instead of in camera because all of the
uruk-hai are terrifying because that's a that's a jacked dude with a bunch of face paint and prosthetics melded on.
And so when he moves his mouth, it doesn't look weird.
Whereas, who was it?
Azog or Azog, the white orc from The Hobbit.
That guy wasn't scary at all.
He looked ridiculous.
He looked ridiculous.
I thought he was scary.
Oh, by the way, Galos 5'6".
So I was off there.
But all the stuff they did to make him look tall was in comparison to dwarves.
And this was so long ago.
People were shorter back then.
That makes sense.
Yeah.
What year did this take place?
Family Guy's got a good bit about that.
Like, Jesus comes back, and he's like, all right, everyone, first things first.
Let's get this out of the way.
Yes, people were much smaller
2,000 years ago. He's literally
like three feet tall.
I don't want to hear
anything about it. Some lady goes,
hey, I saw that.
I see you back there.
You should have turned her into water or wine
or something.
My father is a vengeful
God.
Speaking of God, happy Easter.
To everyone.
There's Easter decoration. Jackie did something.
Yeah, Sunday's Easter.
The way I keep track of holidays
like that that I don't know is
if I have a girlfriend, she'll bring home
a rabbit thing or eggs
and that's when I know it's Easter season
Yeah, it's not a very exciting holiday if you're not religious yeah, yeah, not at all
You know you can you can eat the candy regard. It's like it's like a it's like a religious Halloween really you know
Everybody just buys their own candy
they should that's what they should do that to make Easter big is they should do like a
just buys their own candy they should that's what they should do to make easter big is they should do like a go house to house and get easter eggs kind of thing like like everybody should be hiding
eggs out you ever easter egg easter egg hunts were fun as a kid oh yeah especially when you're
like competing with all your cousins and you're trying to get the most eggs and like and your
grandma put like fucking quarters in them or something quarters no no no yeah there were
quarters of some of them and they were candy candy in some, and I was always like,
man, if I'm quick and aggressive
and don't mind throwing the body around,
I could leave here with $4
even. No, there would be
a... We would have the plastic
eggs
that pop apart and they're hollow,
and there'd be
quite a bit of money involved
in the Easter egg hunts. There'd be a
20 in one of them and 5s and 10s.
Oh, you lucky duck. The biggest we had,
there'd be like one $5 egg every year.
Yeah.
We'd profit from Easter egg hunts.
I go to Easter egg hunt,
$500 egg.
But it was, I never got it.
I never came close to getting it. One of my father's
clients, my father was an accountant. I don't know what his business was, but it was, I never got it. I never came close to getting it. One of my father's clients, my father was an accountant.
I don't know what his business was, but it was very successful.
And he had a really nice home.
But to make the taxes on it a little lower, he had a Christmas tree farm.
And that made it ideal for a ginormous Easter egg hunt.
Cool.
So, like, acres and acres of eggs spread everywhere.
And then there was a little section for little kids where they were easy to find.
But for the bigger kids, my goodness.
And the $500 egg would be like off in the woods under leaves from the previous year.
I'd be one of the bigger kids.
All right?
Well, it depends on what year it took place.
No, I mean today.
Yeah.
I'd be out there throwing elbows at eight-year-olds today.
And I'd be like, sir, are you allowed-olds today. And I'd be like, sir,
are you allowed to be here? And they'd be like, yeah,
I'm actually retarded. And if I'm in the woods
and I see an eight-year-old find the $500
egg, I'm taking it from them.
That's how you get it. It's not like that, man.
The Easter egg hunt ends.
Everyone has found
all the eggs. Four hours
later, there are dedicated people
looking for that $500 egg.
And this is like 1980s $500.
This is a lot of money.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
I never found it.
I get worn out looking for it.
Adult me might be a little more clever.
Like, well, it's not going to be in the middle of this field where you can see it from 600 feet away.
So let's check the edges or but
yeah it was cool it was cool and as a home when we did it uh my my parents would hide the eggs
with different levels of difficulty and uh the mixed match ones would be one kids and the solids
would be another so if i'm like six and stupid it'd just be like sitting in plain view while
my eight-year-old brother had to hunt a little you know what I want to chat about
please be
do a bit of Game of Thrones discussion
I'm down
someone kick it off
with their hot takes and we'll go from there
Daenerys is a bad guy
Jon Snow will kill her
this is not a spoiler.
This is straight out of Woody's ass.
They set it up, and they're saying, like, hey, you gave up your kingdom for the good of your people.
Would Dany have done that?
And as a viewer, you're like, no, she wouldn't have.
She's all about, like about thirsting for power herself.
We only look at her through this nice lens because she's hot.
And Jon Snow is going to come to this realization about her and kill her.
He doesn't need to kill her.
He just can marry her.
And then he's the king anyway.
That's going to be his path to the kingdom. It just makes sense for them to get married
and share the kingdom together. Whether that
happens or not, I don't think it'll be a killer.
She's not about sharing power.
With her husband, she would, I feel like.
And especially if he explains to her that
he's her nephew.
Maybe if he were just a Stark,
she'd be like, nah. But if he's like,
actually, I'm a Targaryen as well.
It's like, really? I grabbed a targaryen as well it's like really well
i grabbed the whole pot once and it didn't do nothing to my fingers so he's the rightful king
or of the seven kingdoms right there you know it's debatable about who's the right like i mean well
the targaryens flew in with dragons and just took that from some other people right
like everybody's just taking it for it's not like god came down let's see that this is what the english were their their whole version of why
we have a king and who he is they're like oh it's the monarchy is defined by god god picked this
this king and his descendants will always be well he didn't no he fucking didn't first of all he
doesn't exist and second of all no he didn't so so bullshit and by the same regards like no one is the rightful king and game of thrones like you could look at it from so many
different points of view like fucking rinley had thought that he was the the king right and stannis
thought he should be the king but their dead brother was only the king because he came in and
smashed a guy with a big fucking hammer whose ancestors came in with some dragons and
burnt everybody alive and you know it just keeps going i hear what you're saying and his ancestors
weren't from here anywhere they were from across the narrow sea there's a lot of debate that you
could make there and i think what you're saying is valid but if you were to compare danny to john
it if i understand the the story right john has a better claim than Dany. Yes.
By Dany's own definition,
Jon has a better claim.
And that's what matters,
is that she's like,
oh, well, the Targaryens are the rightful rulers of this land.
He's like, well, I am the Targaryen with the best claim to the throne then.
So it's me.
Oh, that's going to piss her off.
She's like, sod off.
Oh, yeah. Yeah, she thinks off she's like oh yeah yeah she thinks
that she's now she has no claim other than i'm the one with 8 000 unsullied and some dothraki
screamers and something else probably um good pussy and she just needs to marry this guy he's
down he's he's been up in the north he's only been with one woman he doesn't want to lead but
he's gonna see i think john snow wins the game of thrones even. He doesn't want to lead, but he's going to see. I think Jon Snow wins the Game of Thrones,
even though he doesn't want to.
Yeah, probably so.
You've got to trust me.
I've only been with one woman,
but she hadn't just been with me.
That explains the bumps.
I prefer to think it's ribbed for your pleasure.
I like the episode a lot.
Not a lot happened,
and I'm sure there are people
who would complain about that but i feel like we were setting the table for dinner next episode
some things are just definitely going to happen yeah i know i loved this episode i thought it was
exactly you had you had to establish where the pieces were on the board before you could start
moving them around i felt like and and that good. I liked seeing how everybody felt about it.
You basically got an idea for how everyone feels about each other.
And now you can kind of go from there.
I love the ending where you see Jamie see Bran and be like,
the fuck?
And Bran is just dead-eyed, three-eyed raven now.
He's got shark eyes.
He's just like, hello there.
I disagree. I think so. What Kyle said, like just like, hello there. I disagree.
I think, so what Kyle said, like, hey, they're setting the table.
I actually use that same analogy.
You know, they were setting the table.
We had to get that shit done.
That tells me the episode was too short.
All that fucking happened was characters learned things we already knew.
I need more.
It's not a good show.
If you spend, whatever, 50 minutes
doing that, then that wasn't
a good episode. At the end of it, I was
on the same page you are now, where
I was like, that was disappointing. I wanted more.
But, I don't know.
I'm just trying to... There's only six
shows! That's my thing.
It's like, we've only got five more episodes to wrap
this shit up, and so I'm concerned that they're gonna
be, like, really crunching some key things but there's not much more to happen
so did have to be like that see that's the thing like like i wish there were 50 more episodes if
i'm being honest i wish amen yeah i wish that they were going to wrap up this night king debacle
and then there'd be a whole new war and we'd have to worry about what was going on it's a
there are other continents in this like universe as it were, that we don't even know about.
In Essos, at Southros.
They've even gone to Southros.
Yeah.
We don't know who made the Salt Throne.
Presumably, they're gigantic people, because the Salt Throne was made for a man that no one has ever seen before, right?
I'd love to just go into that shit
with the same group of characters,
not a whole new spinoff,
which is what they're going to do,
but that's not happening.
However, I feel like five episodes,
especially since a couple of them
are 80 plus minutes,
is fine when you consider
that all that has to happen now
is we have to win the war.
There's a battle coming.
The zombies are here.
We've waited seven years for it to
happen but they're here they've crossed they've gone through the wall they're like a day's ride
away or something like that and the war is upon us so like there's going to be like two or three
big battles that's two or three episodes i feel like they could knock it out in in two more
episodes no like there's just not a lot more to happen. Oh, the North fights the dead.
The North thinks they have something.
The dead went to the South.
They fight them.
Now there's some leftover dead guys in the South.
The North fights the South.
Cersei gets the, what, the Iron people?
Whatever the fuck.
Lend the money.
The Iron Bank and her forces come and do a thing.
Maybe the elephants show up.
I don't know.
There's a lot of turns that can be left
with the table that we have set. five episodes they're missing opportunities i don't think they are
because like what was going on forever in the first one through five and really the one through
season six was they would say okay now we're gonna go fight these people but it'll take us
the entire year to get there.
And the deal was there were so many characters, right?
If you, if you, I saw an infographic the other day and it wasn't necessarily talking about
what we're talking about, but it was showing how many characters we used to have and how
many we have now, how many have died.
And that, that's why it used to take so long for anything to happen is because we had to
bounce around to so many different branches of this big fucking
tree that is Game of Thrones characters.
But now that we've whittled down to essentially
off the top of my head, six or seven
main characters,
you can almost get
them all in one episode. Who was it
last episode that didn't get a little air time?
Can you think? Jamie barely got any air time.
Yeah, but he got some.
He only got the spooky look at the end for the most part.
Did we see Tyrion?
We did. We did see Tyrion.
We saw Tyrion.
Was there anybody else? We didn't see the Night King.
We didn't see the army of the dead.
We didn't see the Night King.
Or his dragon.
But we did get to know where they
were and what they were up to because they had killed the
Umber Boy. And I gotta say, that was the biggest scare in all of Game of Thrones.
They've never had...
When that little kid screeched, I screeched.
Like, at the same pitch and cadence and everything,
he went,
and I was sitting there and I went,
it scared the fuck out of me.
It really did.
I wish it had more of an impact on me i don't know i
was just like so he stuck to the wall though right yeah oh i could have killed that kid
and i have no sword training at all well it wasn't about the fear of the kid coming off the wall and
get you why are you screeching it was like it was there was a dead body that came to life suddenly
with blue eyes unexpectedly and then they set the the body on fire and you know
the arms make the symbol of the the first man or whatever and uh you know that spirally thing
and uh she has gotten this huge twitter beef with this crazy bitch who uh who thought that he had
stolen her content first of all she wait that Chiz had stolen this woman's content? Yeah, yeah.
Okay.
I'll get there.
He thought, or a lot of people thought it was the Targaryen symbol, which is like those
dragon heads in a sort of a spirally thing.
And she had thought that initially too.
And he basically made a tweet that like, aha, that's the symbol of the first man that we've
seen four or five times throughout the show displayed and blah, blah, blah.
of the first man that we've seen four or five times throughout the show
displayed and blah blah blah.
And she goes on this rant about how he
has stolen her tweet
and putting it out to, because he's got more followers
than her, and putting it out to his audience
or whatever. And her whole thing is Game of Thrones.
She's a Game of Thrones tweeter.
And she's like wanting to come on
the show and argue her point
and all this nonsense. And it's just like
I need Chiz to give me her twitter
handle so i can just hard scope her feed during the show and tweet exactly what she says
i've got way more followers than chiz that'd be hilarious and i'll tag her in it
oh that's funny that that would be you won't tag her in it. Oh, that's funny. That would be... No, I won't tag her in it.
That'd be funny.
You would really piss her off if you did that.
Because she came unglued on Chiz.
She was real mad.
But yeah, I like the episode.
I just feel like there's not much more to be done.
And I don't like that.
I feel like they've rushed the last two seasons.
I feel they've rushed them along.
Last season, undoubtedly.
To me, this could have been a 10 season thing.
Because last season was terrible in my opinion. It was the worst season out of all of them.
Because they're like, this slow, methodical, epic tale
with shocking twists is now a
crowd-pleasing action movie. And look, I like
crowd-pleasing action movies as much as anyone,
but that's not what I was looking for with Game of Thrones
necessarily, and I hated last
season. It was just
giving me everything I wanted.
Oh, you want to see dragons? How about three? How about
an ice fucking dragon? How would you like
to see if all your favorite characters teamed
up like the goddamn Avengers and went
north and fought zombie
bears with flaming swords.
And I was like, yeah, I'd like to see
one of them. That didn't bother me at all.
I didn't mind that they discovered fast travel.
I've seen a lot of people
complain about that. I didn't like the
fast travel thing because
if they had set a precedent from the beginning
of the show that they were going to do this fast travel
it wouldn't have been so jarring. But the precedent
from every season up till then had been,
ah,
we need to get to the wall,
but we're in King's landing.
All right,
better head off on a trek.
There's going to be adventures along the way and little,
little ancillary paths that we'll have to get through.
And then we'll get there.
Whereas in the last season,
it was like,
oh,
we got to get to the wall right now.
Oh,
we're here.
I did not need to stop and meet Ed Sheeran
and have him sing tales or whatever on the way to the zombies.
Think about how long it...
So remember, Arya was in King's Landing when her father was killed.
Think about how fucking long it took Arya to get back home.
I'll agree they discovered fast travel.
I just disagree that it was bad for the show.
It was, though.
It was, though.
It was bad for the show.
Where do you come down on that, Boogie?
Did that throw you off when they were like,
we got to get to the north immediately,
and they just showed up, same episode?
It made the show feel super rushed, right?
And that's super frustrating,
because I want there to be so much more of it.
I'm excited because they said a lot of the episodes this season
are going to be longer than an hour.
Some could be two or three hours long, and that's great. That's because they said a lot of the episodes this season are going to be longer than an hour. Some could be two or three hours long and that's great.
That's because I,
there's a lot,
I feel like they're leaving out.
Um,
but yeah,
I don't know.
I,
that it,
it started off feeling more like dungeons and dragons where,
Hey,
we need to go visit that.
The other half of this continent.
Now let's go have a million side adventures on the way.
Yeah.
And,
and,
and now it is very much you know they've leveled up enough to where they have uh teleport basically yeah
all the characters that have gone on any of any of these journeys let's call them like like
like when john snow was north of the wall and they were gonna go like investigate a sound they heard
well shit that'd be like a two week long quest where like main
characters died and they're climbing ice walls and and like everything changes it what it's not
about the the trip it's about the journey if that makes sense like like right going to the place
wasn't about getting from a to b it was about what was in between and how that was going to be
crazy and how all kinds of weird little things were going to happen along the way.
I think they got plenty of time to wrap this thing up.
Cause in my opinion,
it's like two and a half,
three battles left.
You know,
we've,
we've got our four,
we've got the Circe and the,
the iron fleet and the,
and the ice zombies as our bad guys.
And then we've got the Starks and Targaryens as our good guys,
and they're going to clash and one or two will be left standing,
and then they might clash again, and then there will be one left standing,
and that will be the show.
And they can do it in six or seven hours.
I linked the episode links.
I'm also showing it to the audience.
It's a little better than it was in my memory.
I'm not sure if this is accurate or if I remember it wrong.
Actually, that would be both.
I'm not sure if I remember it wrong or if this is accurate.
The last
four episodes were all about 80 minutes,
which is a little better.
The next one's 58. That's also too
short, but then it gets good.
If you add up the time,
the combined time, I think
that's the important thing. I wonder
if you add up how many minutes of Game
of Thrones there are, how that compares
to season two.
Let's just throw a season after.
The first two episodes are both under an hour.
The last four add an extra
20 minutes, so it's almost like a seven season
episode.
Yeah.
Instead of six.
I don't know.
I don't want to do the math during the show, but I feel like season two was
incalculable.
Yeah, because it's incalculable.
It's incalculable.
What was it, 10 episodes in season two?
About 45 or 42
minutes each. Were they that short?
I feel like they were all around
50-something, yeah.
I don't know. It doesn't matter.
The point is, we really don't know how much there is left doesn't matter but like the point is like we we really don't know
how much there is left because that fat fuck hasn't written the goddamn books he's doing
nothing apparently well they're talking about how much content they have now we know we know
like like he's a he's an exec he's a producer on the show he's he's a he's a big part of the show
like i'm sure that he's i'm sure they've departed from his visions a bit in the past well right like
i think they've even said they want the want the show to end different than the books,
so you have a reason to still read the books.
Okay.
That makes sense.
I hadn't heard that.
I have no faith those books are actually going to come out.
Yeah, he'll die.
If you want to take a bet, if we want to do a long series bet on that,
I think that the books don't come out and i think it's because he dies
how many books are left two two two and they're supposed to be like meaty books like two i think
the two longest that he he's got motivated anymore he's got 12 14 years of writing ahead of him does
he have 12 or 14 years of life in him and will anybody give a fuck 14 years from well actually 14 years from now they'll be
rebooting it so there you go spinoffs are coming i you know i'm excited about the spinoffs the next
big thing though of course is i guess we're still in game of thrones talk or is it more game of
thrones talk boogie did you have any additional thoughts on the episode anything that jumped out
at you is really good or really shitty nobody except i i really don't i don't understand the complaints about that episode because the reality
to me is that that felt more like the original run where it was a lot of betrayal when people
discovering things and people talking and that's what i like about the show i like the action too
don't get me wrong but i feel like the action needs to be very sparse. And build up to it. The thing that made the Battle of the Bastards incredible
was how long this was building to a head.
The anticipation.
And how much was at stake, right?
Like, that guy raped his sister a lot.
There's just so much at stake.
He's living in his father's house, as far as he knows.
He's sleeping in his dad's bed.
He's raping his sister in his dad's bed.
Like, you can't hate this guy more.
And, you know, we've got to see Ramsay for, like, two or three years be the scariest character in the show.
Yeah, he's great, too.
Total psychopath.
in the show yeah like far too when he's psychopath he he he was as scary when he came on screen especially early on after he after like when we didn't know who he was when he's telling he's
asking theon he's like do you know where you are take a guess and the and and i and i'm and we're
all making guesses we're like maybe they're maybe they're in essos i i don't know where they are
who's this who is this guy they're like three miles from his house you know haven't gone far at all but but he's just
like you know he's cutting theon's dick off and peeling the skin off his hands and stuff it was
just the only thing is smile while he's doing it was like where are you he's like moat caylan he's
like oh cut it off cut it off as he's cutting his fucking finger skin off. The only character who's ever – the only character in a show that's ever made me feel the same way,
that fear and apprehension when he comes on screen is Negan.
In the early part of Negan in Walking Dead, after he's bashed characters' brains in that have been longtime members,
and then he's taking Rick off with that hatchet
and he's going to make
Rick cut his son's hand off and all
this stuff and it's like good
God this is making me sick to my stomach.
I'm so afraid for these characters that I love
and that's what Ramsey was doing
every time he was on the fucking screen.
You never knew who he was going to
skin alive
because that's his fucking thing. Plus of thrones does that shit right right like
like prior to battle of the bastards like there wasn't a lot of plot armor in this show
main people died you need to watch i don't know if you've seen battle of bastards recently
but watch it again through the plot armor lens and it's fucking ridiculous well i think what
you gotta keep in mind is john snow's the chosen one like he's not gonna die that's plot armor
there's a lot's plot armor.
There's a lot of plot armor throughout this show.
I think the thing that throws people off is that Robb Stark was set up to be the chosen one.
So was Ned.
Ned was alive for like nine episodes, though.
He was the guy.
He was the point of Game of Thrones for nine episodes.
Yeah.
And then no one, well, I guess book readers did,
but I was very shocked to think that he could actually die.
And then I was very shocked.
Robb Stark was the guy who was going to fix it all.
And then he actually died. And a bunch of other characters that seemed too main to die, died.
And even things like Jaime's hand getting cut off
seemed like the kind of thing that wouldn't happen to such a main character.
And it's fair to say.
Right.
That's fair to say.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And then that is fair.
Battle of the bastards comes along.
Please.
Everyone watch it.
Watch it again and watch the arrows.
A hundred arrows land everywhere,
but where he's standing.
I think that's,
that's letting you know that this guy's literally been chosen by God to,
to,
to,
to win. You know what plot armor is.
No.
No. Plot armor is when
you need your main character to...
It's when you need your main character
to survive because otherwise it doesn't work.
It's the reason that Ross never gets hit by a taxi in New York City.
It just doesn't make sense.
This is like...
He is literally chosen by God.
That's part of the narrative that God himself has brought this guy back to life
because he is essential to winning the war.
He's part of a prophecy, the fire and ice thing.
I feel like that's not how it is.
But that is the definition of plot armor, right?
God has chosen you, the God, in this case, being the fucking author of the work, right?
And obviously, if he wrote a
character in that is an actual god that actually exists that wants this character to win it still
doesn't matter it's that god is just standing for the creator of the the series right well it's the
it's the lord of light right like whatever that guy is like that's the god that melisandre
bring him back oh he's the lord of fucking pork he's not the lord of
life yeah i just if you watch battle of the bastards again after i've told you like look
at how indestructible this guy is and you'll see like volleys of hundreds of arrows miss him
people coming at him and then just like getting knocked off just one death after another you know like virtual
guillotines in the form of a guy with a sword and a horse just stopping before they get there
it's uh it's just one thing after another that doesn't happen to them and i don't know i really
look at there's to me a lot of that like i know exactly what you're talking about with the horse
taking the guy out i i thought that was more to show the chaotic nature of that of that kind of combat i loved
that like like and like while sure he does survive and everything jesus you thought he wasn't like
half a dozen times when he's being crushed by the yes everybody did that was that everybody thought
he was going to die when that mass of people was crushing him and he's like looking up at the sky and it mirrors that that that shot from earlier
in the uh the the series where the calise is being raised up by all those people around her
it you thought he was going to die like he was and it was such an unceremonious death him being
like suffocated by the crushing masses and then deus ex machina fucking um ginger pussy
to the rescue she went off and got the uh the knights of the veil to to come save the day um
i i love this show man i'm glad they got such a big budget to make crazy things like that happen
in prediction wise this is what i'm hoping for i'm hoping john snow obviously doesn't win
i think that would be the most redeeming i know fans are gonna riot but if john snow does die
and unceremoniously right yes like the gods brought him back and he is supposed to win and
everybody's rooting for it and then he dies in a very unceremonious way or even i hope he falls
into a well guy right let one of the dragons eat the
guy during one of the big fucking battles when he turns against uh daenerys and holy fuck will
that be such a good story they're telling let somebody we're completely not expecting to win
this win this right like let let this come literally out of nowhere and i know people
complain but i don't care because i believe that is the chaotic nature
of the show let the night king win yeah fuck it let yeah that's the most realistic thing he like
he half-assed killed a dragon with zero dragons and now he has a dragon and presumably at least
a dozen more of the spear i feel like if they kill his dragon he just raises the dragon again and
still has a dragon it's like no fair that's an unbeatable combo i uh i i would i would definitely
bet against the night king uh winning this thing he's not gonna win the whole thing of course yeah
he's not gonna win the whole thing agreed and and neither the lannisters and the calise is not gonna
turn on john she might briefly but that's kind of how the show goes. There's going to be some real issues between
the Khaleesi and
Sansa, because they clearly
don't like each other. But
in the end, Jon Snow is going to win. Either
Jon Snow wins and becomes king.
Jon Snow wins and does
the thing he's always done.
He's incredibly selfless, and he
lets someone else rule that's
worthy. Like maybe tyrian like i could
totally see john snow making tyrian the fucking king of this whole thing and and him and uh the
calise dying and tyrian running things or john snow becomes the king of all um and by either
marrying the calise or taking over after she potentially dies but what you won't see is john
snow die unceremoniously and'd bet just about anything on that.
Well, no one's predicting it.
We're just wishing for it.
I think Jon Snow and Dany conflict.
And that maybe he defeats her in some way.
And I wouldn't be surprised if Tyrion was the king's hand.
I don't know.
They've made Tyrion dumb for a couple years now.
The way that they've made it, to Kyle's point earlier,
more of a people-pleasing action movie
makes me pretty confident it's going to end
with Tyrion, Jon, and Khaleesi all alive,
ruling together in some sort of triad.
With Ed Sheeran singing by the campfire.
Presumably, Jon being the king,
but because Jon is the humblest of those three,
he's willing to take advice and be more fair
and dole out justice while you got
tyrian the smart one and calise to uh to have dragons i guess he's not she's not a good leader
so i don't know what she what purpose she would serve there she's got good advisors though right
you know i'm okay everybody shits on the calise way! What good advice did she get? Jorah. Jorah's excellent.
She ignores
some of the better advice, to be fair.
Did she?
I feel like she...
They took Tyrion's advice for a couple years
and it just went poorly. And she left
and left Tyrion to lead. Am I saying
it right, Tyrion? Yeah.
It's Daenerys that you say wrong.
That's the only one that you get wrong. I've been calling her Dany
to work around that.
Yeah.
But yeah, because there's Tyrion
and then what was his father's name?
Jon Snow. Okay, hold on.
And then his father's name was Tidus, I think.
Since this ending
is getting written by Hollywood,
this is what I think is going to
happen you ready john snow wins nobody has to die john snow wins and he decides to make it a socialist
democracy a national socialist democracy yeah just to fuck with people
now it's pretty similar to what i've. It's a socialist democracy.
Now, it's pretty similar to what I've been saying for a while.
But that's all changes.
Some of my Jewish friends are not going to love this, but trust me.
It grows on you. People are asking, why are you speaking like this all of a sudden this has been
my voice the entire time and i've woodwinked you and now we're and now we're all socialists
that would be pretty funny but yeah the next big thing on the horizon is of course the
lord of the rings tv show like like oh wait before we get into
lord of the rings i had one more game of thrones not for this episode related question because i
was thinking about it something that people always do with the show is like man beginning of the show
i thought jamie was a scumbag douche right now i think he's great and i was trying to inverse that
and think of a character that I loved in the beginning
and I hate now,
and I can't think of any.
Can you guys think of any that you loved in the beginning
and you hate now?
And it is hard because so many people have died,
and it doesn't even have to be up to this season.
A character that you started out loving and learned to hate
because I feel like it's the complete opposite
in every case for me.
No, I really can't.
I'll tell you this. Sansa has gotten... I still don't like Sans complete opposite in every case for me. No, I really can't. I'll tell you this.
Sansa has gotten – I still don't like Sansa.
That's a good example.
She's gotten better.
She's gone to a two to a six.
She's gone from a two to a six.
She's gone from like a one to a four is what I would say.
And she was just abominable in those early seasons.
All the memes about the lemon cookies you know
all that and it didn't have to be she could have written so much better it's just that's what they
chose to do with her they didn't know and i don't know why they wanted to make her annoying and and
well that's why they were following the book because they were following how sansa was so
ignorant so didn't know what was going on like the lemon cookie thing was almost uh it's oh she can be
goaded into a very risky supremely dangerous conversation with lemon cakes because she
still doesn't put the pieces together of how really dire her situation is it's not exactly
what taylor's going for but i have a thing that like hated now like king joffrey king joffrey slayed that role jack gleason maybe i have whatever his name
is i i literally didn't like the actor that played him he was so good and like like i just see the
actor do an interview and i think you swore me cunt i hate you right And then the second he died at the purple wedding, I was like, oh, bravo.
Bravo.
Thank you.
Thank you.
What you did, like, I actually felt things because of your performance.
It's not that I, you know, like King Joffrey.
Now you can't.
But I didn't, I was, I guess, too caught up in it to understand that they were finessing me,
and now I appreciate that they did it so well.
And as he died, I remember thinking, like, man,
no way they're going to be able to match that level of visceral, organic evil
with any other character, and then fucking Ramsay pops up.
This guy's even worse.
Ramsay is easily the best villain in anything
ever I I would have said before this show Walter White um but now absolutely like Ramsey was
insanely good yeah he was yeah he was he was very what did you hear oh a character that um I started
out liking but now I hate and it's uh it's Bran. And to be fair, Bran even admits, he's like, but I'm not his brother.
I'm fucking, that Bran is dead.
I'm the three-eyed raven tree man now that sees everything and is everything.
And I'm as much Bran as I am you.
And I'm as much Bran as I am that rock over there.
Why don't you stop speaking in riddles, you magical fuck, and make some things happen?
It's funny that he's borderline
omniscient, and people are like,
should we go ask Bran what he thinks about it?
And it's like, no, he's fucking
weird.
He looks like he's got dead eyes.
He looks right through you.
You go talk to him.
I praise Avengers all the time.
I praise Avengers all the time for managing to make Black Widow and Hawkeye useful.
Even though you've got Thor over here and Mr. Good Accuracy and Above Average Reflexes over there,
they still manage to be useful members of the team.
With Bran, they are not riding around his ridiculous
powers very well. It's like, we've got a real
problem here. This whole thing's
based on making good decisions.
And, yeah, we just don't
utilize the omniscient dude.
Well, Bran's definitely getting some screen time
next episode.
He's become the most important
character in a way. I thought it was clear.
Yeah, but admittedly, every time he's ever answered anything anyway
It didn't make sense to anybody on the fucking show
It's always a riddle
It's never like hey John
Kill Daenerys she's a whore right
If it was that
We don't kill women for being whores we celebrate them
Well you know what I'm saying
Like she's a bad person
I don't mean all whores are bad people
Some of my best friends are whores.
I've never heard that defense.
I'm never going to slut shame.
I don't suggest anybody out there ever slut shame either.
Here's the thing.
It's the sluts that are going to fuck you, dude.
You should celebrate whores. sluts celebrate people who are
willing to have sex because it's it's she's the only one that's even remotely likely to fuck you
appreciate the promiscuous you need them but a lot of people get mad because well this whore won't
fuck me and she's also a whore and that makes me feel bad about myself but you're just as
narcissistic cunts to go fuck yourself, right?
Not her, you. You're being narcissistic
because you're mad that this prostitute or
this cam girl won't fuck
you and that's because you need to
take a fucking shower.
You see that Korean Twitch streamer pull her titty out
yesterday?
Wait, she pulled her titty out for real?
Yeah, it was hot.
She was adjusting her top
and she did that thing where she's watching herself on camera Did she pull the titty out for real? Yeah, it was hot. She was adjusting it. Who pulled the titty out? This Korean Twitch streamer. She was adjusting her top.
And she did that thing where she's watching herself on camera.
And when her titty pops out, she freezes.
And she's just like, my titty's out.
And for a solid three seconds, she's got her titty out.
Did you buy it?
It was all accidental?
Of course not.
I didn't see it.
50-50.
You can't tell. If my penis falls out of my pants at Costco,
I don't stand there for three seconds and go,
my titty's out.
Yeah, but it's a different scenario, right?
She's seeing it happen through the OBS
or whatever the fuck she's streaming with.
She's wearing lingerie anyway,
and she's adjusting her titties to make them pop.
Is that Twitch legal?
Yeah. Oh, yeah. You can show of boobs on twitch not the nipple but but you know everything else
um pussy's fine but but yeah back to brand i i uh i liked brand at the beginning he was this like
you know everybody's talking about how good of a climber he was and he never felt the boy
it's true the boy was always short-footed you know like the boy. It's true. The boy was always short footed. You know, like, like the boy was, he's climbing the walls and he's a little adventurer and he's, he's clearly
on the path to being one of these stark men who's just uniquely smart and, and physically talented
in his own way. And then all that's taken away. And, and, and he doesn't, he doesn't, I don't
remember him feeling bad for himself. I don't really remember him feeling sorry for himself
for more than like an episode
until this child is like,
well, I guess I'm crippled now,
but I got this big tard to carry me around,
so that's cool.
And I've still got this fucking dire wolf,
so let's go on an adventure.
That's going to be a government program
I would implement if I were elected,
is every crippled person gets a big retard
to carry them around.
This is crazy.
Number one, save money on wheelchairs.
Number two, job creation.
Right.
Make it a military thing.
Taylor 2020, move over.
Mayor Pete.
Yeah.
Sorry, Trump.
I'm stepping in.
I'm running as an independent.
Me and Bernie.
Bernie's my vice.
I would like that.
I would like to be carried around
by a big slow person.
Yeah, and it seems like Hodor was
like, he could never be, he was never tired.
No, he was
always ready to giddy up and go.
Like, he was terrified of the lightning
though, which I found off-putting.
No, it didn't happen that I wanted it to happen.
Maybe it did, but
Bran was supposed to warg into Hodor
and turn him into pretty much a gigantic, athletic Jon Snow.
Yeah, he just did it the one time.
He did it the one time.
Yeah.
He broke that guy's neck.
Just once.
He broke that guy's neck with his bare hands.
No, he did it twice because he warged into Hodor
to get him to stop freaking out at the lightning.
Yeah, yeah, but I'm talking about warging into him and going super scion on a bunch of baddies.
I want him – I want like, I don't know, 85 whites and a pile on top of him and then Bran wargs and he –
You know what I would have liked?
If like they're all hanging out and they're having a bit like maybe Jon Snow and like a bunch of the people.
What do they call the crows or whatever?
What do they call themselves?
The men who are like on the wall.
The Night's Watch.
Yeah, the crows.
The Night's Watch.
The Night's Watch and Jon Snow sitting there and Bran is there like in the corner and Hodor sitting there diligently.
And they're all talking about how we're going to win this upcoming battle.
Maybe it's one of those situations like in Two Towers
where the enemy's smashing on the door trying to get in
and we're all just downtrodden.
And they're like, we're only eight men.
And then Hodor stands up and eloquently says,
at least nine.
I'm going to need some armor.
Big armor.
Big armor.
And he just pans over to Bran over there all like
eyes roll back in his fucking skull.
Is somebody going to take
care of this kid? Nah, he just does that.
No, no, he's good. He's good. Don't touch him.
Don't touch him. We don't want to fuck this up.
And I need Hodor to like stop being
retarded Hodor and be
Brandor and just be speaking eloodor and be brand door and,
and,
and just be speaking eloquently and be like,
I'm going to need a big fucking shield,
a big fucking sword.
And I'm going to,
and I just need him to,
I would,
he goes one V one with yum yum.
Like he's at least like the size of the mountain.
I felt like,
like he's just gargantuan.
I,
I'm sure they said in the show,
like,
like what the size comparison was like the way they described him once in the books
was like he was one of the few people
that would tower over even Hodor
or some shit like that.
Hodor was part giant.
That was like the little myth around
why he was so big. I don't think that
his mom actually took giant dick
and made it half giant.
Man, her pussy
would have been ruined. She would have been in the wheelchair.
Actually, yeah.
When I think about how big Yum Yum is, it would be hard
for him to fuck a regular woman.
Maybe he jerked off on a regular
woman.
And it's just like the fucking
ALS Ice Bucket Challenge.
No, no, no.
It's like the end of Ghostbusters 1.
When the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man explodes
and just splatters onto everyone.
To Kyle's point,
I think one of the reasons that Bran
is a little easy to turn against
is puberty didn't treat him that well.
You know, he was a really cool kid,
but as a semi-adult, whatever he is,
he was just...
I think he's got a good look i like those
he's got ridiculous cheekbones i like the haircut's not doing him any favors i think i i bet i bet when
he's in real life when he's walking around wherever the fuck he's from like i bet he's a
good looking fella i was just gonna say maybe if i saw the actor i'd change my mind in the show
his look has gotten worse and i would stick to that. I like, Kyle, your idea about how
when he wargs into
Hodor, he inexplicably
has Jason Statham's voice.
Yeah, absolutely. That's good.
And it's Jason Statham dubbing it.
Oh, that'd be sick. Or
Pierce Brosnan. Someone real
posh, maybe.
That would be
great. If he went from
Hover, Hover to
I'm going to need some fine armor,
a lovely port,
and the biggest fucking horse you've ever
seen.
Suddenly he's clever.
He's doing sudokus and shit.
He's hitting on women.
Making big dick jokes
and still but still in his big fat retard body oh see this is the spinoff like his whole posture
changes you know like like like so he's even taller like if he didn't sit like this yeah all
the time yeah i would have dug that a lot and i that. And I don't feel like that's all that fan-pleasing nonsense
like some of the other shit we saw.
But I would have dug that a lot,
even if it was just for a scene or an episode or half an episode.
Why couldn't he be part of the Battle of the Bastards
coming in and being Deus Ex Machina Hodor?
Obviously, he was dead at that point in the show.
But I'm just saying, in a moment like that, I'd have dug that a lot good show great show great actors it's going to catapult
so many of these people's careers into other things it's um you know you want to see these
people and stuff except sansa um that x-man movie is going to bomb so fucking hard x-men movie
they are making her uh a main character in the next...
It's not even X-Men.
It's an X-Men universe movie.
Marvel X-Men universe.
It's kind of convoluted.
But in any case, she is the Jean Grey.
The Phoenix Jean Grey.
The Phoenix.
And I know you don't know a lot about the X-Men,
but this is a major story within the X-Men thing.
She gets inhabited by this incredibly powerful entity and it's a whole thing
that character dies and comes back to life like four times during the the comics and cartoons and
such um and she's look i think a lot of people will disagree with me i don't find her to be
attractive um i find her acting to be kind of bad uh She's kind of wooden and bad at expressing emotion, I feel like.
And she's a little too, I won't say fat, because she's not.
But she's just soft-bodied to be a superhero.
Can I jump in there?
I think that's exactly right.
Not just soft-bodied, because I think Jennifer Lawrence is a little soft-bodied.
But unathletic
like jennifer lawrence i really like in these like female heroine roles you know she did a
great job in hunter games jumping around running stuff like that no um but sansa pussy a little
i think i've seen the scene but sansa um she is the kind of like beautiful model actress that gets cast to be
a heroine and can't do it but just imagine her jumping up on a chair to a table that that would
look stupid it'd be worse than sand snakes choreography because she's not an athlete they
need to get like a ronda rousey or karate hottie or whatever like those people move like athletes because they are athletes Sansa's not yeah she's just and and I let me see if I can find one
of the stills from from from her and I can see her almost falling into like a
George Costanza situation where you can only see her as Sansa and so like you
just you don't it pulls you out of. Like the same way that like when rarely I would see whatever George
Costanza's actor's name is Jason Alexander,
I think.
Yes.
Whenever you,
if you see him,
I'm like,
what is George doing in this movie?
Have you seen his recent interviews?
No,
no,
not at all.
I watch one.
Then YouTube was like,
Oh,
you like this guy.
Keep watching him.
And he talked about that.
Exactly.
He wanted Seinfeld to end.
I didn't know that.
Because the way the deals worked is Seinfeld wasn't going to be an annuity for anyone but Seinfeld and Larry David.
Does that sound right?
That's right.
Yeah.
And all the other actors, they got pretty well paid towards the end, like millions.
But there was no long-going thing.
They didn't get part of the Hulu money or whatever.
So he's like,
when you play a character on one of these iconic series,
then you are always viewed as that character.
And it becomes very difficult to get your next job.
So Elaine,
George Costanza,
Kramer,
Michael,
something.
Michael Richards.
Thank you.
Michael Richards.
They were all like,
let's end this show.
They didn't want it to keep going.
Do you know what season they were saying that?
I've never heard this.
Into the last season.
Yeah, it was an interview.
I watched it today or yesterday.
And they were like, end Simon.
They didn't want it to keep going because they felt like it was ruining the rest of their career.
And I see that.
Who played Joey Tribbiani in Friends?
Matt something?
Matt LeBlanc.
Matt LeBlanc.
Yeah.
Matt LeBlanc.
He had a couple other shows afterwards, and it was always like, this is Joey.
You know, he can't play a different character.
Well, one of the shows was called Joey.
Yeah.
And Elaine, I think.
Did she have – play Elaine?
She's had a few.
Obviously, she did really well in Veep.
Yeah.
Veep.
But that was like 10 years later.
Like, there was a gap.
Yeah.
And Larry David has utilized them
all in uh the larry david show or curb your enthusiasm i should say is what it's called
i love curb um and but but yeah you're right yeah it's getting it's not typecast it's just
being viewed as that character forever um is is a real problem for a lot of these actors some men especially i feel like are really
good at changing their looks like like you just grow a beard or you shave your beard and you and
you can look very different i watched the bodyguard which is on netflix it's the one that's got rob
stark protecting the british female politician uh i'll be honest i didn't know it was him until like
after i'd seen it and i was talking to people
about it they were like you know that's yeah rob stark yeah yeah and i'm like that wasn't rob stark
like yeah yeah that's rob stark because he's completely clean shaven and he's got like short
ish hair just a little curly on top and he's wearing a fucking you know modern day suit with
a with a handgun it i didn't see rob stark in in that but sophie turner oh yeah the the moon-faced pale
chick with the long red hair and and the tits that they like to pretend are big yeah her with
the with the big waist yeah but yeah she's not attractive look at this fucking picture she's not
a fucking superhero look at that look that. They really went to town
on the bust of that armor.
Is she small-boobed?
I didn't think she was small-boobed.
Is she a small-titted
individual?
Which character is she playing here?
She's Jean Grey.
She's playing little tit girl.
Apparently. I never noticed
her boobs. Yeah, they're small.
But they like to pretend that they're big. They're always
mushing them up. I fell for it.
Yeah, they're not big. I don't like her armor here.
She looks more like
an extra bad guy.
It's
hard to call this obviously hot
girl hot, right? Every class
I had in high school, she'd probably be
the hottest or second hottest
in the way class no way out of the maybe new jersey girls yeah it's not san antonio jersey
chicks are thin um but she's a pretty girl she's a pretty girl but hollywood pretty i just feel
like there's so many more like megan foxes out there that have a it's more just her her her mind
and the way she was in Game of Thrones
where she's so gentle, little,
oh, can't handle this Sansa,
and then expecting her to be,
I'm taking it to town!
I'm the badass! I got the
Wolverine claws and the ice vision
or whatever the fuck.
She's like a human torch, but bird-shaped?
I don't know.
Oh, that's really dumb.
She's like crazy powerful. I but bird-shaped. I don't know. Oh, that's really dumb. She's like crazy powerful.
I don't even understand her powers exactly.
She turns into a flaming bird, and then people around her kind of melt.
Boogie, do you know?
You know a lot about the superhero universes and such.
Are you familiar?
Boogie, can you explain it?
With Sansa.
Yeah, yeah.
Jean Grey is a super powerful psychic.
That is her power.
She's one of the most powerful psychics in the X-Men universe.
She's sort of Charles Xavier's protege in that regard in many ways.
Is she more powerful than Crippled Bald Guy?
No, he is the most powerful of all of the psychics.
And he can basically freeze time for people, essentially.
Can he go back in
time and walk again he does yeah exactly he kind of did that um and uh but but she gets inhabited
by this uh this this dark phoenix force which uh which is sort of incredibly powerful like
world-endingly powerful and and it's like boundless uncontrollable energy
um that she cannot control and so there's this debacle where her friends and and loved ones are
are like i think we've got to kill her to get rid of this like entity that lives within her
i see this picture yeah she doesn't jump out at me as a superhero now first of all small titties
and no chin second of all every girl looks hot when they're wearing yoga pants third of all she is
like a she's like a seven she's like a six and a half out of ten in in the real world she just is
i drove through like downtown atlanta that's ridiculous yeah that is ridiculous it's six
she's just slightly above i said six and a half i said six and a half that's still ridiculous it's
thank you i drove through at through Atlanta today and I saw
four chicks for sure that were hotter than her.
I saw maybe 50 women. Out of how many girls?
I saw maybe 50 girls.
I was at a hotel. There was a
young African American lady
wearing the shortest short shorts I've ever seen
in my fucking life. So four out of 50.
So this is the top like 8%.
You saw more than 50 women.
You're in Atlanta.
You saw more than 50 women. just all fell into the you're in atlanta you saw more than 50 women i'm not i'm not counting all those like there's some real rough ones you know yeah
yeah so of the of the 50 hot ones there were four hotter that makes her a six and a half 50 that fit
within a certain age group and height, weight, proportionality,
she is a six and a half out of ten.
She just is.
She's not that pretty.
She's got big moles on her face, too.
They fucking hide those from the camera.
Where are you seeing all this?
I'm familiar with the character.
My only exposure to the characters is when they're on screen for game.
Well, I...
But she's absolutely...
I don't know.
I've spent enough time out in Hollywoodllywood to say she is definitely not hollywood hot like she's it's surprising that she stood out
well enough to to get the role she's gotten because her face is just her just the face
is disproportional just then the lack of chin it's just odd right right but and and like you said
where are you seeing this just look at the
picture right below her lips yeah like like there's very little i feel like she's a little
she's both square jawed and puffy faced but lack of chin isn't the isn't the like way i describe
it like lack of chin to me is double chin or like you know fat necked and i'm not seeing that here
i bet she has a really good profile she She's just kind of square-jawed,
puffy-faced.
The hottest picture I've ever seen of her.
Don't get me wrong. The shot I shared,
she's a great body. Put a different face on that, I'm all for it.
Let me try to find her
Halloween costume, because that's the hottest
I've ever seen her.
She's legit hot.
Well, all girls go all out for Halloween.
I love that she's pretty pretty freaking hot and we're all
like yeah you know hypothetical single me would pass up i would go out with this girl in a
heartbeat obviously like well that's not what i'm saying just think of the memorabilia she wants to
climb mount boogie she can climb mount all right what i'm saying is what i'm saying is, what I'm saying is, when it comes to just judging her by this one minor shitty thing,
right,
like this one fading element about her,
and for the purposes of Hollywood,
and that she should be stared at,
eh, there's a lot prettier girls than Sarah.
If she looked like this every day,
I'm 100% on board.
Like she's been dead for three hours,
and you're just to finish with her?
She's so fucking hot in that picture.
She is so fucking hot in that picture.
I want to know if it's shopped at all.
Because she's got big boobs.
That's her Instagram.
It would have been funnier if she was like,
this year I'm going as slutty.
Are you taking Instagram as not shopped?
Because Instagram is shopville.
Well, it's...
It's filterville. it's filterville it's filterville
it's instagram reality you can change proportions and stuff but that hasn't happened here because
i've seen plenty of versions of this outfit and this is what she looks like with that professional
makeup on and that and that dress on with her titties taped together like you probably are
you know the instagram reality subreddit are you familiar with oh yeah absolutely yeah oh well
oh is it funny oh yeah you would like it taylor it basically it shows these people taking wonderful
pictures of themselves oftentimes shopped and then like it you know it's the uh they get tagged
tagged photo versus real photo or Or maybe video versus photo.
Let's take a peek around here.
I can't...
You guys are always introducing me to fun new forums.
I like it.
Let's see.
Hey, guys.
I'm going to have to wrap it up.
My teeth are starting to really hurt.
I should go relax these.
But I want to say thanks for having me on again.
I'm glad I made it this far.
You just went silent.
Oh, you just went silent for a sec.
What was that?
Oh, I just said I should head out.
My teeth are starting to hurt a little bit.
Yeah, no problem.
And I'm going to go soak.
Go ice pack a little bit.
Guys, thanks for having me.
I'm so glad I made it as far as I can get.
Yeah, they're coming on.
They look great.
Great.
You look great, by the way.
It makes a world of difference.
You're a different man.
The hair looks great. You're looking different man. The hair looks great.
You're looking real good.
Big improvements, man.
The next big step is to get another 50, 60 pounds off.
I'm supposed to go hang out with DDP to do that.
I also want to be in Atlanta.
I'd love to come say hi, by the way.
And while I'm down there, lose this last 50, 60 pounds and then get the skin
surgery and that'll be
the new me. Guys, as always,
check me out at youtube.com slash boogatoon98.
If you want to hear a gaming podcast, we have one
going now. It's called The Big Stack
Podcast. Love it if you check it out.
Awesome. Awesome. Alright, thanks guys.
I love you all. Thanks for coming on.
Thanks for having me. Bye. See ya.
What was I about to say?
I was looking at Instagram reality pictures. Let me run out
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Is Boogie just frozen?
Yeah, at first I thought he didn't leave.
Now I think maybe this is what happens
if he just closed Discord,
and he'll realize later.
I like it.
I like it.
It's like he's here, but he's not.
Yeah.
I like it. I like it. All right, he's here, but he's not. Yeah. I like it.
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That's meundies.com slash pka. I got one of those onesies. Now, it's not something I'm,
I'm not a onesies, onesie kind of guy, despite some pictures you may have seen on the internet
of me in a onesie, but it's incredibly soft. Like, I don't know how to describe it to you.
Like, if you've had the underwear before, like, you've felt what the micromodal is like.
It's like, what is this?
Yeah.
Like, it's.
It's your entire body.
It's your entire body.
You get it.
You know, it zips up the front and you're in a you're in that micromodal from from like neck to to to footies. I wonder how much they are.
Because it's not a cheap textile.
It's not cheap.
I think I looked it up and
I was flattered that they sent me one of those.
I believe it may have been
over $50 or $60 or something like that.
If it was, it's not as bad as in my head.
I thought it could be a three-digit item.
Sorry if I missed that.
I don't recall. It's something silly.
Mine has a bunch of four-leaf clovers on it.
I would have preferred that.
I want the pants.
The onesie's cool and all, but I'm
not going to wear it.
I'll wear it around the house
and to answer the door for food delivery.
I don't like the way the zipper feels on my bare
skin.
You just wear a t-shirt under it or a wife
beater. Oh no, I'm naked under that thing.
You're ruining the micro-model.
You don't want to feel the cold of the zipper on there.
You're not experiencing
surround-model if you're wearing a
t-shirt. Well, my house
got struck by lightning and it ruined my surround-model.
I should take a picture.
My golf cart is filled with
broken electronics right now.
Yeah, man. I'm telling you.
You need to file that claim.
Yeah, I think first I'm going to go...
They were through
APC, the people that make the
uninterruptible power supply surge protector
thing. And it's worked great.
Power's going on here a billion times, even during the show.
And everything keeps going.
It just flickers and people don't even know.
But in this case, I think lightning struck the tree out front because I saw damage.
And yeah, it just broke a ton of shit.
Yeah.
You're a professional adult,
but I would look into what your insurance deductible is,
and if it's $1,500, like, holy shit.
Yeah, dude.
It's time to find every piece of electronics in your home
that the lightning hurt.
I'm not even sure.
You know there's a new playstation about to come out i
feel like i don't know the the extent of the damages yet like we replaced the surround sound
like the hdmi splitter receiver thing and uh now the projector's not working and i can't tell
if it's like i'll figure it out It's either configuration or it's broken too.
The switch upstairs was broken through the ethernet cord.
Then the lightning struck the switch downstairs and it just keeps going.
Yeah, man.
I would go through and find everything that's broken and do a quick cost analysis and figure out what that deductible is.
And it may be.
Yeah, I think we're going to get some cash back because it's a bunch of damage.
Maybe, you know, and I check all the outlets the outlets like i don't know what lightning does inside of
a house like maybe some of your outlets are fried and maybe you need some new wiring in your house
who fucking knows new ship yesterday i think i mowed and it's like huh the circuit flipped in
the stable like like no big deal just a flip circuit but i'm like is there any limit maybe
it hit the telephone pole
i didn't look there i don't know yeah i don't know how lightning works like the way you described it
it wasn't too bad it sounds i think it maybe hit the ground and like dispersed and ran and my uncle
was quote unquote i'm doing air quotes hit by lightning one time and my dad was telling the
story and that's how the story begins that's how my uncle he's like yeah i was hit by lightning and i'm like wait a minute you were struck by lightning well it hit the ground in the yard and
i was he was holding like a jack like a car jack that has it's all steel you know and it ran through
that into the handle and knocked him unconscious so he wasn't struck by lightning but he was
fucking jolted by a burst of lightning it It does weird shit. You know, it hit the ground outside and ran through dirt and concrete into a metal
thing.
He was hanging onto and got him.
My dad saw lightning hit one of his poultry houses,
watch the bolt hit the roof of the thing.
And he rushes into the,
into the building to see what's going on.
And he's like,
I could see a little fire up in the ceiling and And I had no way to do anything about it.
And $300,000 of loss later.
If he just had a fire extinguisher right there, he'd have gone.
But instead, 20,000 five pound birds roasted alive.
And the entire facility collapsed.
Well, that was their destiny in any case.
You should have smelled it it smelled delicious it smelled delicious it was the biggest it's they were full
grown they're like five six pounds and like when they peeled the tin roof off because that of
course doesn't burn her mouth there's just they're right next to each other like like you would see
in the grocery store and of course the feathers are gone.
It's just the meat.
And it looks like 20,000 roasted golden brown birds, 500 feet long and 45 feet wide.
Fuck no!
But the heat would have burned away all the bacteria.
Yeah.
Probably.
No, I'm very sure of this.
Yeah.
Cooked on a hot bed of chicken shit.
That's just the coals.
So, Taylor, you've got a lovely video here of one of society's best and brightest.
It's very short, but Chiz sent us this this and i was laughing over and over watching it
we're gonna want to take a couple loops yeah okay well i'm at zero oh it auto played so
they've seen the first loop all right so this guy i don't know what the fuck's going on but he but
he cunt punts that old woman and immediately immediately turns around and runs with arms back like in that anime Naruto show.
And just right away from the scene.
And nobody seems that concerned about catching him.
And that was straight up, I should be in jail assault on an elderly woman.
Like, do not pass go.
Do not collect $200.
This is go to jail kind of shit.
And nobody seems to care.
You just ran out to Barnes and Noble or wherever the fuck they are.
I noticed there's a lot of Asians there.
They must be in China.
That's what I assume when I see a lot of Asians.
Yeah, and in random street violence.
The only Caucasian that I noticed right away was the lady who got...
Oh, maybe that guy who was looking defensively.
Yeah, the bald guy.
The bootleg Jason Statham character.
Because he's like, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Why are you...
You kicked my girlfriend again.
I'm into older broads.
I can't see what she's doing.
Look at the guy who's drinking in the water fountain.
Look at his reaction.
He's more stunned than anyone.
Oh, I need to see that guy.
I didn't notice him.
He's to the right.
You run past him. He's to the right. You run past him.
He's like, oh? I can't see
what she's doing that warranted that reaction.
She doesn't
seem to be doing anything. Even her hands are in
clasps in front of her belly.
She's chastising him a little,
right? Maybe? Oh, maybe, but you don't
kick women in the cunt. You know, you're lucky
we didn't drop a third bomb on
you, piece of...
That would be so funny if that's what it was.
Well, if I could bomb you Japs again,
I would do it in a second.
The way his coat catches the wind
and he flies away is fantastic.
Like a little cape.
He's got a backpack on.
What a douche.
Wait, backpacks are douchey
well if you kick someone and then sprint away with your coat unzipped and a backpack on you
look ridiculous i kind of like the look i disagree i think it's the next fashion trend
you know what fashion trend is bullshit like okay button rings no i dig those but
like okay button rings no i dig those but you look at fashion in the past and you can say like why did anyone ever think that was good right like bell bottoms are a great example a bunch
of bedazzled things like why did anyone think sequin sweatpants were cool um yeah jeans beanies
beanies what like guys wearing beanies in warm weather beanies they're a terrible look
and people will look back on them and say it was stupid my level of oiliness with my body
i can't pull off the wear a beanie around in hot weather look like i would i'd smell weird and gross
and i'd take my my beanie off and i'd just be matted down and oily like and I feel
like most men you know maybe
less so than me but still are going to get that look
and so I also agree with you Woody
the beanie in summer look
is two thumbs down
from this fashion diva
do you know who Tim Pool is
yeah he was on Joe Rogan
yes that guy wears a beanie all
the time.
It's a dumb look.
Get it together, Tim.
Thanks for the backup, Taylor.
I appreciate it. We're on a first-name basis, Tim and I.
Yeah, I'm pretty confident that people will look back on them in 15 years
and say that was stupid.
You want to see a hammer-wielding thief?
Oh, I've got this pulled up too
I think I had him from last week
it gets better as it goes
like I was watching
alright
it's like that Vince McMahon
fucking meme where he's like
oh
oh
are you guys ready?
Yeah, I'm at zero.
It has audio that you might enjoy.
Oh, thank you for that.
Ready, set, play.
Hammer-wielding thief.
Not ready for pepper spray.
Nope.
Nope, he has been...
I like to think he's slightly hitting himself. Like Ace Hardware Claw Hammer? Yeah. no no he has been like a hardware claw hammer wait is this an inappropriate
hammer we have to ask our st. Louis expert you want you want a big boy You can tell how much pain he's in Oh he still has the hammer though
Oh he just hit it randomly
Look at this guy
Look at this guy
From the top
Oh he's crying for help.
Look at the legs of the chair.
He's bit them.
At one point.
Dude, the chair guy.
That's the best.
The audio at 50 seconds.
He's sobbing.
He starts crying.
This guy comes out of nowhere with a fucking
chair and he beats the man in the head
with it so well that the legs
of the chair are all... The chair's ruined.
They act like WWE is not real
fighting. The guy with the
mace?
Cool. Decently cool.
Guy with the chair.
That's our PKA cool-ass guy
of the week.
That was great because he he ruined someone's chair and also made him cry can you oh can you imagine that
guy with the hammer like what was his plan going in i'm gonna go in i'm gonna steal a bunch of
i guess cigarillo rappers and and to get it get out of here like at no point did he think i'm
gonna get beaten with a chair and pepper sprayed and i'm gonna cry in the corner bounce like
rubbing up against booze bottles yeah probably empty the cash register was his plan yeah of
course he's he's not like i got all my white owls you know doing that but yeah that's hilarious
good for him hopefully that guy is in is in jail dude can we talk about the new samsung fold um
i don't know much about it you'll have to fill me in all right um so this is a thing that's
exciting to me i'm trying to find a link for you i had this idea that we would just watch this video
on silent it's like 12 minutes long while we talked about it. So people would like see the phone.
This is Unbox Therapy.
They just had really good videography, so I chose them.
Yeah.
Yeah, I remember seeing this phone advertised, you know,
a while back and thinking it was a really cool idea.
Can we click?
Are we playing it while we're talking?
Yeah, I want to do that.
All right, so cue up at zero, muted.
Yeah, I'm ready.
Ready, set, play.
All right.
So this is the Samsung Fold.
They've been working on these folding displays for a while now.
It's the one on the left.
And I think a lot of people agree this smartphone market has been stuck for, what, five years now?
It's been stagnant for a while nothing new thanks and like
it used to be like oh my god the iphone 4 is coming out this is a life-changing improvement
this one is a compass so the gps works wildly different than it did before or whatever you
know like like it was going to do cool shit it was slightly bigger which made a big difference
i kyle and taylor i think are really good examples of the stagnant thing
where they're like, you know what?
$1,000 phones just are not $600 better than $400 phones.
Exactly.
$100.
Wow.
It's a black rectangle that calls people, texts,
uses all the applications I could want.
Is that like a plan, like a tricky $100?
Or is it genuinely $100?
I think maybe it was $180,
and $80 is just applied to your phone bill or something like that.
I'm on the Google Fi network.
Okay, that's crazy.
What kind of phone is it, Kyle?
It's a Motorola G6 or something.
All right, that I shouldn't have asked.
That means nothing to me.
Yeah.
I don't know.
It's a black rectangle.
But the fold comes out.
And like the way the aspect ratio is and stuff,
like in some cases,
like watching a YouTube video in portrait mode,
it's like four times bigger.
People are seeing it on the screen right now.
And if you put it,
like you can watch a
youtube video it might not even go to landscape mode and you can see the comments and stuff like
that like scroll around it it's a tablet but it folds up in your pocket a little smaller ish
than a regular phone and in my head i'm like oh my god for the first time in ages smartphones
broke through that stagnation that they've been
stuck at look at you're seeing what i'm seeing look how much bigger it is it's a lot of match
sticks yeah and like i don't have great my vision actually was pretty great 20 years ago like i
think might have been better than average not now not now brag a little more
i'm so glad taylor's here to make me feel like
I'm not blind as an owl.
But owls are not blind.
Anyway, fuck it.
It's a bat.
Blind as a bat.
Yeah.
I don't think bats are blind either.
Probably not.
Yeah.
But anyway.
Blind as a vole.
Yeah.
I like to make the text
a little bigger and stuff now
if I don't have glasses on.
Like this might be
really nice to me. Like it's a little more screen. I think I'd enjoy it if I don't have glasses on and then and like this might be really nice to me like it's a little more screen I think I'd enjoy it I don't think
I'm gonna switch from iPhone because there's a couple things like iMessage really has me stuck
in but I think of the iPhone now and I'm like dude you are stuck in the mud are you seriously
just gonna come out with another iPhone like next year your big release is just going to be the same old shit
you've been releasing for the last six years.
And two years after that, are you going to do it again?
Like this folding shit, to me, is the future.
And it's exciting to me.
It's pretty novel.
Like how much is it going to be?
Did you say that already?
$2,000.
Well, here's the catch.
It's not that cool.
Here's the catch, though.
They're falling apart already.
Kind of, yeah. So when these new things come out sometimes they exaggerate the problems do you
remember bend gate i don't know anyone in my life that bent their phone but they acted like they
were just really super bendable and you know fragile but um what's happened is like two
thirds of the damage is from reviewers pulling off what
seemed like a screen protector you know in shipping there's like a satisfying little
piece of plastic that you pull off you know to keep plastic nice um people see that start to
pull it off but it's glued on better and and now they're fucked, right? Now, like, that actually was an important part of the phone,
and the screen gets ruined shortly afterwards.
So at least on the T-Mobile units,
they have, like, a bit, like,
this is not a peelable screen protector.
Don't do this.
But the reviewer units didn't have that.
I don't know if everybody's will.
And the fact that, like, there's not that many reviewers. I don't know if everybody's will. And the fact that like,
there's not that many reviewers.
I got to make up a number.
There were 30 and like five of them made this mistake.
That's good.
You put that out in the...
There's a lot.
What did we used to...
Put it in the wild, right?
Like when we release software,
you can have corporate users
and then they just use it
the way you're supposed to.
Or if you're writing software
that's meant to be exposed to the wild,
it needs to be really foolproof. These guys you're writing software that's meant to be exposed to the wild, it needs to be really foolproof.
These guys have a hardware product.
It goes out to the wild.
So you can't have like a third of the people thinking that it gets ripped off.
The guy showing the pocket bulge right now,
and he puts a regular phone in next.
It kind of fits like in your pocket fine, right?
So yeah, right? I like the phone a lot i would i
would want one for sure because i i do you know i watch videos on my phone uh and and i love
tablets um but i i don't have it i don't have a tablet i um i've had one tablet in my life and
i was like yeah this is cool um and i think i gave it to a girlfriend i have a tablet and i never
used it
because I'd be like, oh, I'm out and about.
I'm going to be out and about.
Now my phone's more convenient.
Oh, I'm going to be at home.
Well, I'm going to use my computer.
Yeah, it doesn't fit.
I've got three devices, right?
It depends on my level of attentiveness,
my phone, my laptop, and my PC that I'm sitting at.
And if I'm really sitting down to do something,
I'm here.
But if I'm just casually watching like some YouTube while I'm in bed or on the couch,
it's my laptop.
There's no,
and then if I'm just really want to be,
Hey,
you see this cool thing?
It's,
it's my phone.
There's no in between for a tablet.
However,
if my phone was a tablet in this case,
I,
I,
I'd be down for this.
I,
I'd definitely be down for it.
I don't want to pay
two thousand dollars for a thing that's going to fall apart and look look shitty though yes this
is the coolest phone like the most novel neat idea i've seen for a phone in years though like
even if it kind of sucks and they're fucking up with the peel and everything at least they're
kind of storming another beach yes yeah like even if this isn't the one right even to the samsung phone
fold is kind of beta quality you know like two years later we might have a nice thing going on
here maybe yeah where the screen resolution is i'm not listening to the video but is it 4k
does it do 4k everything i had a phone a couple years ago that was 4k everything 4k camera 4k video 4k display
did it did it was it good on a phone like do you need that much yeah you don't need that much
okay I don't know I liked it because I could shoot the 4k video and then I could watch it
on a 4k monitor okay I have a 7 plus whatever that is but I'm sure you're familiar with pixel
density and the fact that on something this small,
4K is a bit wasted.
1080 is fine, and 1440 is even better.
But when you go into 4K on a 3.5 inch by 6 inch display
or whatever these are, it's just like...
There's diminishing returns.
A lot of people wouldn't even...
I guess if I look at it with a magnifying glass,
I can definitely discern a difference.
Now, I will say, at the lower end, like 720 to 1080, on a phone, you might think that if your eyes aren't great, that it wouldn't matter.
But no, the fuzziness is cumulative.
It's better to start at 4K and let my eyes fuck up than to start at 720 and fuck up from there.
Absolutely, yeah.
look up from there absolutely yeah i i you know i and i'm this that was the one instance where i was like 4k is wasted but usually i'm the one who's like every extra frame and the frame rate
is important and every extra bit of resolution on my gaming shit is important because i noticed the
difference like if i'm playing if i accidentally pick like a higher uh like if i play on fantastic
instead of simple as far as the graphic settings and rust i'm like this doesn't feel right
this doesn't feel right how many frames am i getting and i look and it's like shit i'm getting
60 fucking frames like i can read my i can read the text on the side of my ak-47 but like
i can tell this is 60 frames these gunfights don't feel right this this feels bad turn that
shit down and i get 110 frames it's like ah fuck yeah everything feels crisp as fuck
this is more frames i love this and going from 1080 to um 1440 into 4k is just massive every
step of the way for me i love that shit what do you have for monitors what are you using currently
uh my main monitor is this bin q um it's the it's very similar to the one that Shroud uses. It's less frames per second,
but it's higher resolution.
It's the 1440.
It's not the ultrawide.
I've got the ultrawide on a different rig
and I don't use it.
Do you use, is that your only monitor?
Yeah, I'm just using one monitor.
I have more, but I just don't have them hooked up.
I have this silly idea that I want to get,
I don't want to lose any juice at all for
frame rate and i just don't want to run two monitors i should i should totally have another
monitor over here that's like um inverted you know on its side so that i can have like reddit
over here or uh or discord because there's so many times when i really wish i had discord open
and i'm gaming if you played 2009 games like left 4 dead 2 as i do then you wouldn't worry about
such things yeah rust is a beautiful
fucking game like every you know it's i watch it a lot on youtube actually yeah i do too i it's it's
it's the we were talking about our youtube homepages and what were recommended earlier and
mine is all cooking and rust because those are my two passions in life right now you know cooking
good food and rust i'm not even into rust But the Rust YouTubers are pretty good storytellers.
They do a good job with their pacing.
And you see them go from rags to riches.
Off into rags again.
And it's just a good story.
Yeah.
Wellen is very good.
Stevie tells a good long story.
Ramsey hasn't uploaded. Oblivion. Yeah. Oblivion very good. Stevie tells a good long story. Ramsey hasn't uploaded Oblivion.
Yeah, Oblivion's good.
Yeah, he does a lot of trap races and stuff.
Trap races, yeah, yeah.
There's a guy called Rust Academy who fakes his videos.
Okay.
Keep that in mind if you've watched.
He literally fakes his videos.
I wonder how Oblivion does it.
So Oblivion makes trap races, and I don't play Rust,
but it's my impression that a trap
base like that would take 30 hours of grinding to make happen no no even with all the electricity
and the remote triggers and all that stuff no it would take like um it depends on what server you're
on for one thing it depends it depends on what the gather rate is. But even if you're playing pure vanilla,
which you could gather up the supplies
and the blueprints in a day to make that thing.
But how long is a day?
You know, if you're all by yourself gathering the stuff,
you know, it's probably like a 12-hour day.
So you could make that base in 12 hours?
Making the base, like if you've got the materials in it,
getting the materials to just make the base is real fast.
It honestly is.
It's real fast.
It depends if he's got like a special blue.
If there are special items like electricity,
it might take him a while to acquire those special components
because they're a bit rare. But if he's just building a base with like shotgun traps so that
when you walk in just boom boom boom boom boom and you're shot or if he's building one that's like
just a pressure plate and a switch so that when you step on a rug the door shuts behind you another
door opens up and shotgun traps go boom boom boom boom that's a day it like and and just to build
the structure like you can acquire those materials and do the building in less than an hour but his
um i just see like what to me look like fairly complicated reset mechanisms on the wall and
stuff like that and i imagined it took a while but maybe it's maybe it's a day to set up i don't know the the people excuse me
the uh the electronics are definitely above my pay grade um i don't know anyone who has
quite figured that stuff out yet but once you do figure it out i think you've got it you know you
can apply the same techniques um to like a myriad of different electronic projects within the game
but it is quite complex.
There was a lot of...
There's no manual.
There's no manual or instructions
provided for this shit.
It was trial and error for these guys
when that shit first came out.
Electricity is new to the game.
Rust is a game that...
They added helicopters
a month ago.
It's incredible.
Now, the whole game is different now because there are these two-man helicopters that you can just get in and fly.
They're crazy hard to fly.
Most people will be like, oh, a helicopter.
Hang on.
I played a little Battlefield.
I'll just fly it back to base.
They go, boom. I saw the video. The guy's mission was to get a helicopter. Of course, he had to raid a base. They go boom!
I saw this video.
The guy's mission was to get a helicopter.
Of course, he had to raid a base. He didn't blow it up. He just kind of managed to
cross barbed wire that didn't fully kill him.
And
he gets in the helicopter. He flies
it for like six seconds and dies.
That's the video.
Middy is one of the finest
helicopter pilots
in all of Rust. Out's the video. Midi is one of the finest helicopter pilots in all of Rust.
I swear to God. Look, I'm not one
to toot people's horns
seriously like this.
Alright?
Sometimes I'll joke around about these guys
that I play with, but we all are
aware of our skill levels and stuff, and we're
all average to a little above average.
Something like that. Especially in the Rust world, which which is very difficult especially as far as pvp
midi is an incredible chopper pilot he flies that thing through alleyways he he he parks it on a
porch that's on our base and drives it in and then like parallel parks it and shuts the door as he's
flying as he's in reverse your base
so you have to parallel park your helicopter well you go in one way and and then he'll rotate it so
that when he goes to leave he goes straight out rather than reversing out an efficiency maneuver
okay yeah and like as he's flying that's what we call it in the in the trade yeah as he's flying
out of the like bay carport he's like clicking the door at the
same time he's incredible with it he can land it on a dime take off land spin do all kinds of
maneuvers keep a lot of bases you can rate it seems like the biggest bases have like outside
walls almost and so the thing about those walls they're more of an inconvenience than anything
um you just you just you get a ladder,
you climb that wall and it hurts you.
It does about a hundred damage to you.
Like,
you know,
up and over.
How much do you have total?
A hundred,
but you've got meds.
So you've got these medical syringes that you can be injecting continuously as you go over.
And it's not,
if you're,
you start climbing the ladder,
you hit the barbed wire,
it goes,
and starts hurting you.
But as long as you freeze in that moment, it stops hurting.
It doesn't do continuous damage.
It does.
Every time you inch forward, it does a little more and then it stops.
It's like it's like punches rather than it's not like it's like electric fence.
When you grab it, it's just and hurting you.
It's not that it's every time you progress, it hurts you a little bit more.
So you can just go up it, hurt yourself and eat fucking pumpkins, heal yourself up, go
a little more, eat some more pumpkins.
So it's really an inconvenience factor.
And it's a thing that slows you down getting in, um, rather than all out.
Nobody can get in here ever kind of maneuver.
But with the helicopter, obviously you just land inside of their compound over their fences and you can go to their outside furnaces if they don't have them built within a helicopter, obviously. You just land inside of their compound over their fences, and you can go
to their outside furnaces if they don't have them
built within a containment
base, what's called a furnace base.
Just steal all their fucking stuff
that they're cooking out and be gone before
they can get outside to mess with you.
You can also land right on their roof rather than
ever using ladders and investigate to see if
they've made design flaws in their base.
It's called eco-rating, where you find someone's made a design flaw. Maybe their walls have hard sides and soft
sides. And if you were to try to hit the hard side of a wall with a pickaxe, I don't even know if you
can ever break it. I'm sure you can, but I'm guessing it would take a hundred pickaxes and
five or six hours. And somebody's going to hear you and interrupt you during this period of
time.
It's probably taken,
it probably takes longer,
probably takes 10 hours of just swinging pickaxes.
You'd run out of pickaxes.
But if you're on the soft side of a wall off the top of my head takes maybe
10 pickaxes,
which isn't a big deal.
You know,
they're cheap.
How many hours though?
Two?
Oh,
not,
not,
not hours at all minutes especially if you
got two guys swinging two guys swinging uh pickaxes if two guys have like five or six pickaxes each in
their inventory and they're just swinging on the soft side of a of a stone wall they're in in just
a few minutes and and what these these guys these guys like waylon will do sometimes, if you take 7,000 wood,
that'll make enough spears to soft side a stone wall.
So they'll climb up onto your base.
And if you've got like windows on a shooting floor,
like the windows are kind of like,
the walls may be like a V,
you know, like as they wrap around
and sort of like making a big octagon.
So you can look through one.
Is that what you're talking about?
No.
Oh.
You've got like an octagon-shaped shooting platform on top of a tower.
And they'll get up on the side of that, and they can look through one window,
and they can see the backside of another window because of the angles that the walls are cut at.
And so basically they're poking through the shutters and through the window
bars with a wooden spear and hitting the backside of a different wall.
And if you've got,
I don't know how many spheres it is,
but it takes 7,000 wood to make them.
So I'm guessing 70 spears,
something like that.
No,
maybe 700 spears forever.
It takes,
but they'll,
but they'll just do,
do,
do, do, do to do to your fucking wall
collapses and you're asleep at home of course you're not playing the game and then they're in
your base and they're sneaking around to try to find any stuff that you didn't tuck away very well
you know people will do stuff like that that's called eco raiding where you're not using
huge amounts of high-end explosives and rockets and shit you're using spears and ladders and rope and pumpkins
yeah we that minecraft parallel to that too we used to raid bases but as admin it's not fair
because i have all the resources in the world and we'd fix them afterwards and show them what
their wall was this whole instagram reality subreddit oh you gotta go on is blowing my mind dude it's great like isn't it the
the amount that i i don't use instagram like i i have i think i post i think i probably post like
five months ago i never go on there to check and i don't really go to any of the people i follow
and it's pretty just like hockey people and i don't go there but some of these are the most
egregious photoshops i've ever seen in my entire life.
Some of them aren't even human in there.
Like, like, like women will make their waist small, but like more than Barbie dolls small.
It's like crazy.
Just literally unbelievably small.
Oh, here was one I was looking at that is like beyond the pale ridiculous and
like usually i'm not mr you know oh you got to be a great influence for people but if your whole
shtick is oh my god of myself being happy and healthy i don't believe everybody following you
no leaves all right so this isn't pictures to show that no it it's on the subreddit kyle it's real
i feel like they're fucking with us like like
like who took the second picture you know look how blurry it is here's what i
i'm comparing the two photographs and i think the girl on the right the fat one has a bracelet on
her right arm that doesn't exist on the girl on the left no both have a bracelet on their left
arm and it it's no no no same, the exact same photo, the same tattoos.
Everything's the same.
The leg tattoo matches the...
I actually can't tell.
So on her right arm and the fat chick...
Yeah, I mean, there's a lot to match here.
The hat matches.
Yeah.
This is clearly the same person, dude.
I just found out
from scrolling through this what facetune is and apparently facetune and body tune or whatever they
are just i don't know how it works but apparently you just click an app and it makes you look hot
you uh there's a slider time believe you can decide how hot you want to be like because of course there's a fucking there's a hot believability
like uh you know like spectrum yeah yeah so it's like oh you know what i think it doesn't want to
be 30 hotter because people might buy that whereas if i'm 300 hotter i'll be on instagram reality
i'm gonna get i'm gonna i'm gonna get a face soon for myself and post it on my twitter
i i don't i don't know about this because what this looks like to me is that maybe the girl on the right was trying to mimic the look of an actual model who's on the left.
You keep saying the girl on the right.
It's the same person.
I don't believe –
How can you not see that?
They're so obviously the same person.
Do you think she mimics her tattoos?
I see what looks like a –
Do you not see the deliberate body
language choices made by the person?
Hold on, but look at the person on the left. Look at the
deliberate body angle choices. Throw aside the
fucking Photoshop that was undoubtedly
used or Facetune or whatever. She's got
her arms pointed backwards to
minimize any kind of thing.
Any kind of arm thing. Got her boobs stuck out.
Her ass is way back.
Her feet are kind of in front of each other to give her more of a... She's doing the stutter arm thing. Got her boobs stuck out. Her ass is way back. Her feet are kind of in front of each other
to give her more of a...
She's doing the stutter step thing.
Like, yeah,
absolutely, these are the same woman.
This one more than anything blew my mind as to how
much manipulation is going on on Instagram.
Does the one on the right have an anklet?
Like the little bracelet?
Or whatever you call it. Yeah, it looks like it. It's just her left
foot is dug into the sand because of her weight.
Her weight.
I don't see the bracelet on that one.
Wherever she walks, she leaves foot-deep footprints.
What kind of creatures roam in this beach?
It surely isn't the women on the left.
It's a tropical Scottish beach.
It is.
All those Scottish beaches people are clamoring for.
I just wonder why the picture on the right
is so blurry. And who took it?
Because it zoomed in, I think.
I bet that they took that picture
from like a thousand yards away and
zoomed in.
Because they saw some silly photo to me what's the background
then like so we're imagining that the that a person that a person took umbrellas i'm just
but but make it make sense for me like tell me the narrative in which this fat girl obviously
had her boyfriend take that picture of her and then she photoshops the fuck okay just stick with
me here explain the scenario to me this fat girl has her boyfriend take a picture of her and then she photoshops the fuck okay just stick with me here explain the
scenario to me this fat girl has her boyfriend take a picture of her then she doctors the fuck
out of it but on the exact same day an apparent stranger on that beach took a random photo of a
fat chick with her boyfriend then somehow discovered that on the internet, on Instagram, the same fat chick that he had randomly photographed that day
has posted a doctored photograph of herself.
And he thinks to himself,
I know the perfect subreddit to put these two photos together on.
Dude sees a photo session of a girl who shouldn't have a photo session and thinks that's weird.
I'm on board with Woody right now so far.
I'm going to take a picture too.
And then looks her up on Instagram.
Probably she's tagging herself as in Cabo or whatever and says, I know the reality behind this.
What do you think is more likely, the situation you laid out, Kyle,
or this exact outfit with those exact tattoos on the exact height, same looking girl?
Hat, sunglasses, tattoos.
They found two similar photos, meshed it together, and then posted on social media.
Yeah, yeah.
I'm not saying that I know how things...
You think that's more likely than someone saw a photo shoot of like a, ha ha, she shouldn't be taking photos like that.
Click.
I think that the most likely thing
is that someone wanted some Reddit karma
and that they made this themselves
and that she is part of the whole thing.
I noticed that it's so blurry on the right
that we could never identify her.
If this was Woody's next door neighbor,
he'd have no fucking idea
because she's wearing sunglasses, a hat,
the picture's blurry as fuck,
and she's looking down and to the right.
Down and to the right. Down and to the right.
Where did the spit go?
I think that's
the most likely thing, because people fake shit all the time
on Reddit. Sick dogs
and, god, this cough is awful.
You've been doing really well so far tonight.
You haven't coughed hardly at all. I've been trying to.
I've been sick for like three weeks.
Okay, here's another one, Kyle.
Debunk this.
Yeah, I'm not saying that these are all fake.
I'm familiar with the subreddit.
Just that one in particular.
See, this one, we clearly know how this worked.
All right?
So what happened here is someone tagged her,
and they have the undoctored photos of what
these girls were like on the beach so like somebody else took some pictures of these
girls on the beach that are friends with them and then those girls had also uh
uh taking pictures themselves and and so there's a bit of uh uh debunkery going on she's and if
you look at the tote yeah debunkery And you can even see in the text,
someone is saying, hey, no body shaming
here, but I just want to show people
so that they know how she
does it. I thought, you know, basically this is
someone saying, there's some fat girls
pretending like they're skinny as fuck,
and it's bullshit, because there's other real women
like me out there who don't
doctor their photographs, because they're proud to be like...
It's doctored, I think. But a lot of it is the pose right so she's straight on if she has a belly
the camera doesn't pick up that straight on quite the same way do you see that her right this is the
girl in the yellow how her hand is on her hip what her hand is actually doing yeah is taking her
like a love hand whatever love handle would be there and she's pulling it towards the
back of her. So now she has a
thin waist. She looks like a penguin
on the right. Look at her hair. Her hair has been
lengthened eight or nine inches.
Has it? Look at her hair in the right.
She's got shoulder length hair and now it's
below her bra.
Look again. I'm staring
at it. It's right there.
No, Woody's right. You just can't see it on the right.
Oh, on the right?
Because it's falling down.
It's also...
It's much worse hair, though.
It's like on the left.
I'm not saying it's not shopped.
I'm only saying that it's half or two-thirds pose.
No, there's a lot of shopping.
Her face is totally different.
She's a fatty.
It's hard to tell with the straight-on face. And I don't even know if these are the same day There's a lot of shopping. Her face is totally different. Like, she's a faddy.
It's hard to tell with the straight-on face.
And I don't even know if these are the same day
because she's wearing makeup on the left.
No, she's not.
That's the thing.
That's the Photoshop.
She's not wearing makeup.
They shop makeup onto her.
There seems to be makeup on the left and not on the right.
So it could be different days.
It could be post-swim.
Because of the shopping.
It could be shopped.
But a lot of it is the pose.
That girl on the right, I'm not sure that's a human body.
That waist to butt ratio
is less than 1%.
It's weird.
It's to the point where it's in the uncanny valley
where you're like, yeah,
that doesn't look like reality.
She's got some hip cleavage.
It's odd to have that much hip cleavage with that tiny of a waist,
but you see it.
I watch enough pornography.
And that's totally real.
Well, yeah.
Those are human beings.
And the naked chicks that post on Reddit.
Not on the left, they're not.
Those are forgeries.
That's like saying
Monopoly money is...
This is money.
In the make-believe world, it is.
Yeah, so that girl in the black, I think that waist thing has been shopped.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
Everything about both of these women on the left has been altered in some way.
Their hair has been thickened.
It has been made prettier.
Their faces have been reshaped and
polished and had makeup applied their skin tone has changed their skin color has changed their
hip to their all of their ratios and body dimensions have been changed even the fucking
sand looks prettier on the left like like like the complete forgeries not those real human beings
and the problem is that people that do this, I think,
if one of us did this,
we'd be thinking like,
I uploaded a lie.
Like, I hope people don't
catch on to the lie I uploaded.
If I ever start up my Instagram for real,
this is exactly the kind of thing I'll do.
Like, if I were to upload
a lie, though... No, no, but not to be more muscular,
to have a big ass you should lengthen your hair
if i were to do that pose where you're like looking back over your shoulder
like like like showing your ass off if i were to facetune i think i'd want it low
right because it i don't want people doing like tagged woody
versus um yeah real woody yeah real wood no tagged is the real woody it'd be photoshop versus tagged
i don't even know yeah yeah yeah um so uh yeah so you wouldn't go far on it yeah that's
i've i've got a couple things
I'm interested in
one of which is a conspiracy theory
that I looked into
this week and I couldn't
get enough of because it was so
so important
that
well I'll just get into it
so my entire
this conspiracy purports
that Long John Silver's, the fast food, seafood restaurant, has never been about seafood.
It's been a marijuana laundering drug business the entire time.
You have my attention.
So buckle up.
This is important.
First of all, ask yourself, have you ever seen a very crowded Long John Silver's?
I have.
You haven't.
You're lying.
There's never been.
There used to be a Long John Silver's around here.
It was the only fast food place that I was like, oh, I can go there because there's no line.
I'm in a hurry because I prefer no one.
No, everyone does.
It's easier to go to the moon than to fake a crowded Long John Silver's, I've heard.
Yes, it is.
Yeah.
So with that in mind, there's never been a huge line at a Long John Silver's ever.
And I've got the whole epic written out.
And I've got the whole epic written out.
So the history is that Long John Silver started in 1969 in Lexington, Kentucky,
from a man named Jim Patterson.
And he wanted to have a seafood restaurant, a popular seafood restaurant.
That's what he wanted to do, and he wanted to do it fast food because no one had kind of stormed that.
No one had done that yet.
And so he's like, right 1969 fucking we're starting
our seafood fast food restaurant in lexington kentucky never quite takes off meanwhile there
was a moonshining family only a few miles away that had made a fuck ton of money during prohibition
but after prohibition ended they were struggling and they were kind of you know their gang hold
on the area gang hold who knows how big it was in lexington or in the surrounding areas they you know it wasn't maybe
they they were starting to lose their hold because income wasn't coming in as quickly
the guy's name was johnny boone and johnny boone was was the descendant of those moonshiners the
child of them and he wanted to get his criminal enterprise back up and so he decided i'm going
to get into marijuana and so he started the cornbread mafia out of lexington kentucky which
was all about bringing weed in selling it and making a bunch of money and they did that for
years and eventually it got to the point where it's like we can't launder this through little
you know uh locally owned gas stations and shit or laundromats anymore it's not going to work we need to find someone we can
launder this through who do they find jim pat patterson the owner of long john silvers they go
jim we got a lot of money we know that your little seafood restaurant is struggling how about we help you expand a little bit and so for
the next 20 years long john silvers is expanding across the country none of them have ever been
busy none of them are serving are serving fish it's all johnny boone's weed money coming in
laundering through john long john silvers and then they get it back and so they both agreed to it
jim jim patterson is exploding long john silvers is expanding all over the place meanwhile
everybody's saying ah it's not a very busy place food's not very good that's what people are saying
ask anyone and and so the pot is making so much money and Long John Silver's is spreading so quickly that Johnny Boone becomes the godfather of grass in the South in the 80s.
And so in the mid 80s, the FBI starts looking into Long John Silver's and into Johnny Boone.
And they catch Johnny Boone between 87 and 91.
You know, that's when the investigation was in 91 is when they
finally nabbed him up. And so they nab him up, they put him in prison, but the cornbread mafia
doesn't want to stop. They're rolling. They've got lots of pot money. They've got so much pot money
that they sponsored commercials for local politicians going against heroin because
heroin was getting big at
the time and they wanted the public perception of heroin to be heroines evil heroines bad heroin
will give you aids because you know the 80s aids scare and associating anything with aids in the
80s was a death sentence and so they were associating heroin with aids as much as possible
and that did successfully for a little while in certain regions slow down heroin consumption and
what did that do?
Boost up marijuana consumption.
And that helps the cornbread mafia a lot.
And so the crux of this is that Long John Silver's has never, ever been popular. They've never independently turned a profit.
And it was the cornbread mafia initially led by Johnny Boone that is responsible for the few remaining Long John Silvers.
And look this up.
Look at how many locations they've closed.
Do you know why?
In the last couple of decades, why they've closed so many?
Marijuana legalization.
Is because marijuana legalization and the dissolving of much of the cornbread mafia.
So all of these things.
I'm not saying to believe it.
I'm just saying everything I just said is absolute fact.
Yeah, none of that's true.
No, that's true.
I read it online.
The thing about the restaurant not being crowded is true,
and that's the foundation of all of it.
Well, the real problem is that fried fish isn't very healthy,
and that's not what people are after.
And there's a competitor called Captain D's, which is just superior.
I don't know if you've ever had the deviled crab at Captain D's, which is just superior. I don't know if you've ever had the devil crab at Captain D's, but
I think
my six generation
long weed smuggling
laundering train is
a little more Occam's razor.
I want to talk more about this devil crab, because
my mouth's watering just thinking about it. It's delicious.
Fast food crab. You've already had great seafood today.
I want more. I want more.
I'm going back tomorrow. I'm going back fucking tomorrow
and getting some more of that shit. Where did you go today?
It was just this hole in the wall place
that I've driven past every
day and I thought they sold
like fresh seafood. I was going to go in there
and buy some crab to cook at home
but they did like low country boil
in there and so low country boil is
like crab
and sausage and corn on the cob and uh and a
potato and i think that was all there was and it's like covered with like that old bay spicy
shit and like melted butter it was incredible i i i'm getting a double order tomorrow today i just
got like a one cluster of crab one potato one piece of corn, and half a sausage.
Tomorrow, double all of that.
The corn was incredible.
I don't even like corn.
It's like corn on the cob.
I bet the corn and I bet the andouille sausage, I bet both of them were fantastic.
It was fucking amazing.
And the potatoes, did you get roasted or boiled potatoes with Old Bay on it?
Yes, but it wasn't even half of a potato. I saved the potato for last
so I could dip it in all of the melted butter
Old Bay juices and crab gook.
And it was great.
Crab gook.
Crab gook?
That sounds like a mutated Vietnamese boy
who's half crab.
A racist character from One Punch Man.
The crab gook.
Oh, I challenge you
to a fight in the middle of the street.
See, that's all
that I know about that show.
So One Punch Man Season 2
is out or coming out
or something like that. I think it's out.
I think it's rolling out.
They changed animation studios, so I'm told the animation is not as good but it's about fucking time i think that shit came out in
like 2015 or something like that it's been like a solid four years or something since we've had
any one punch man um i love one punch man i think it's great and i'm looking forward to seeing where
saitama goes from from here i want to see him blow some more shit up with one punch.
I'm looking forward to seeing more of the story.
I dig it a lot.
I just started Googling it.
If I understand it right, the first episode's out.
Yeah, okay.
Shit.
Why don't they just give us everything?
I worry about that with Game of Thrones as well.
Just give it to me.
Yes.
Oh, my God.
Give it to me.
I would love to be able to binge watch these things.
I'd do the whole marathon.
I'd do eight hours worth of time.
When I discovered Game of Thrones,
I think it was in the midst of Season 2.
So I binged watched through Season 1.
And then as I got to like the end of season two,
season two was like wrapping up.
Like,
you know,
I just watched the second to last episode and the last one comes out.
And then I was so sad.
It's like,
it was so into it that like to realize the next episode was a year away
sucked.
Now it seems like so satisfying though.
It's like 18 months between shows.'s so satisfying though to to like because some of these shows have these big cliffhangers and stuff like that and you can you get the
cliffhanger and you're like yeah y'all motherfuckers were gonna make me wait a week or even a year
boom roasted the next episode let's go i love that to be i'm trying to think of
good examples but like i watched i found the office sort of late um you know and it's run it
was already maybe on like season six or season five or something when i discovered it and uh
it wasn't on netflix you had to get the ds. But even that was super satisfying to just go through those DVDs one episode after the other.
And I was getting three DVDs at a time.
And then they'd be done.
And I'm like, if I rush to the post office right now, I think I can get the next DVD the day after tomorrow.
And we can start this thing again.
But I love that, being able to binge watch and not have to wait around and be thinking about stuff.
Like, I want to see the rest of Gotham.
I can't because I can't find any way to watch the next episode of the season.
It says episode unavailable.
I think you've got to go to Best Buy and buy a DVD,
and that shit ain't happening.
Just torrent it.
I don't do that.
Why?
I don't do that anyway.
I just usually stream stuff, but you can if you don't want to watch it i don't really i just usually stream stuff but you can
if you don't want to watch it that bad yeah that's illegal oh is it still to steal digital content i
saw um it was a meme i wish i could describe it so it worked for people but like netflix comes out
so he takes his pirate hat and pokes it away in the chest
and says, I won't be needing you anymore.
And then the next frame of it is like,
Amazon exclusive, Netflix exclusive, HBO exclusive.
And he pulls the pirate hat back out of the chest
and says, my old friend.
Yeah, it's a pirate's life.
And like, I don't know.
Like, it was just, it was neat. I used to live in the netflix world and i'm
like my god my bill went from eighty dollars to nine or seven or whatever it was and now it feels
like they're we're going right back now i need espn plus hbo go i get way more value out of my
hulu than i do my netflix at this point netflix has lost my loyalty i Yeah, you said that, and I'm on your side with that.
I like Hulu way more than Netflix,
even though Hulu's layout sucks dick,
because I like Family Guy on there.
I like Archer fucking King of the Hill on there.
It's always sunny.
You know who's losing my loyalty?
Amazon.
Now, there's no one better than Amazon,
so I'm still there.
Their originals are kind of not great.
Watch Ten Star, you bitches!
This is the company.
What episode?
So Amazon Prime
used to mean two days. It was amazing!
You could set your calendar to it.
You ordered it, it came two days later.
Now it's like, sometimes it's one, sometimes it says
it's one until you get to your cart, then it becomes
two, sometimes it's five.
And you're like is this
prime or not prime prime uh some prime used to be shipped from their warehouse now some of their
partners i guess are good enough that they call them prime too but they're not the same as prime
they're just like mislabeled as prime good well you're maybe because you're so close to atlanta
atlanta yeah yeah i think it's a regional thing it's gonna be it's gonna vary like i bet if you're so close to Atlanta. Atlanta, yeah, yeah. I think it's a regional thing. It's going to vary. I bet if you're in LA,
it's crazy.
They're like, yes, they're now.
They're a Seattle company, right?
We were listening in to your conversation
with your wife last night, and
we preemptively sent you that cast iron pan
in joy.
What they do well,
if you've ever watched FedEx tracking,
it's delayed by hours, right?
Amazon tracking.
The guy's in our driveway, and I'm like, oh, let me see what I ordered.
What's due today?
He drops it on the doorstep.
He scans it.
15 seconds later, I go back inside and check it, and it says it's delivered.
That's how real time.
That's how real time.
That's how Postmates is too.
Postmates, it's like your order will be there in 17 minutes and I open it up and it's like,
oh, there DeAndre is and I can see him slowly drive down the highway.
And the moment he hits my driveway, I think he notifies the app because it's like I get a text message and a a prompt from the app and my computer goes off
deandre has arrived and like literally 30 seconds later it's like ding dong
fuck yeah deandre's here that's a pretty neat like customer experience like that's cool
they're better than pizza like with pizza it's a surprise you know it can be long it can be short
you don't know what's up. It's so much better.
Like,
like one thing I've started doing, if I want to talk,
I like to talk to them sometimes because I want to be clear about what I'm,
maybe there's something special.
Like I didn't have ketchup and I ordered five guys a few,
a few days ago.
I need a lot of fucking ketchup.
Like,
and you tell some people a lot of ketchup and they think you mean six
packets.
I,
you don't think that's a lot of ketchup. I would have fallen for that. Kyle, I might've showed up with half mean six packets. You don't think that's a lot of ketchup?
I would have fallen for that, Kyle.
I might have showed up with half a dozen packets.
My mistake.
Let me find you the picture of how much ketchup I was brought.
Are you sure Woody and I aren't the normal ones right now?
I think that might be the case.
I have a human head of ketchup with every meal.
What is wrong with you? I can see the amount of ketchup in there that's insane looks like he just robbed burger king there we go but the thing is like deandre needs to know
packets of ketchup because i left because i didn't specify what kind of soda I wanted. I just put large soda.
So DeAndre has to call me up.
Hey.
You played a trick on DeAndre.
I'm purpose.
So I give him the phone.
So I give him the phone.
This is a 2000 IQ Postmates play.
He's like, hey, it didn't say what kind of soda you wanted.
I was like, ah, I'd like a Diet Coke.
And by the way, I need a lot of ketchup.
I literally said, i need a shitload
of ketchup and he's like i'll hook you up man and when he handed me the bag i was like whoa
i got the i got a small order of fries and the little hamburger and i opened it up and all you
could see was ketchup it was 33 packets of ketchup i just filled the drawer up we're gonna deandre
smart because deandre needs to know that he's tipped by
you. This tip depended
so much on those ketchup packets.
I have a similar story
where I ordered chips and I said
I want salsa. You understand when I eat
the bottomless chips here at Chili's
we reload that thing three times
and I get like six salsas.
I want my bottomless chips to go.
So you can't give me one salsa.
It's the same price.
Bottomless chips.
You need to,
you need to make me have chips until I stop eating,
even though it's to go.
And,
uh,
they're like,
I'm going to need a lot of chips tonight.
She wanted to,
I,
so all I wanted was two little salsa things.
Like that is much less than I'd eat at the store.
And she wanted to charge me a dollar for that extra salsa.
Bitch.
Yeah.
So I paid the dollar to Chili's and didn't tip much.
Because, hey, you know, like we could have been a thing, DeAndre Miss.
But we were not a thing. Den yeah that works danny yeah it's
it's uh yeah i i i am very harsh with my postmates tipping if things don't go well
i can see them on the app sometimes and look i love postmates don't get me wrong
but i can we were talking about the tracking if i I order Popeye's chicken, I'm zooming all the way
in and I'm like, all right, he's at Popeye's. If he doesn't make a left out of Popeye's,
he's going to take care of somebody else before he takes care of me. He's trying to double up on
my ass. And when, if he makes a right, I start complaining right away. I'm calling customer
support. I'm like, DeAndre made a right out of Popeyes.
I live around here.
He's going to take care
of somebody else's order.
Like, oh,
we will look right into this, sir.
I'm like, yeah,
fuck you, DeAndre.
I hope they fire your ass.
And then I'm like,
I'm already filing
like the complaint
through getting the email replies.
Like they're going to look into this
and I'm already deciding
DeAndre is getting $0 tip.
It doesn't even give you
an option for $0 tip.
It's like 15, 20 or 25 more and i'm just like other it's a whole other another 2000
iq postmates play and you can't do zero so it's like 0.01 that's right deandre you're getting a
penny tonight because i saw you fucking go to chipotle
after you left popeyes and sit in line to get some other fuck their burrito while my
fried chicken gets cold just to explain are you sure that's bad because in the pizza world it's
i don't care if it's good or bad i'm just telling you how i react when it happens to me i don't want
cold food i'm paying a premium to have hot food rushed to my door i'll tell you
another thing that gets you no tip and that's if you haven't invested in a thermal bag you're a
delivery man motherfucker that's where i was headed like in the pizza world they have a thermal bag
oftentimes my pizza and your pizza will both be in the thermal bag working together to create a
hot little mini oven there in the passenger seat. Right. Pizza does particularly well in that environment though. If you can imagine what like
French fries, a salad and some Chinese food are going to do all in the same bag though, right?
Maybe hot and cold stuff. Not good. I need you to make a beeline for my house with this stuff. Now
Postmates has their own thermal bags now. It's a big satchel, of course, but on each
end, there are like double cup holders with like mesh that hugs the cup well. And I'm sure the
drivers have to pay for them. They're not just handing these things out willy nilly. But if you
have not taken that step, then you're not a professional Postmates driver and I don't want
to do business with you. So I'm going to intentionally tip you one penny. So then in the
future, when you see that Kyle has placed an order, you just don't take it.
Just don't fucking take my order if you're
going to do me like that because I will do you
just as wrong. I will not tip your ass.
Don't be doing me like that, DeAndre!
DeAndre, don't you be doing me like that!
Ah!
Is that what he would do?
I get
so pissy if the food shows up
and it's cold.
Wait, have you ordered enough that when it's
when it shows on your app like
this is being delivered by Samantha
you're like Samantha that cold
cunt she will not get me enough
mayonnaise yeah there's a guy named
Corey S and I don't I don't I immediately
cancel if he if he's the one who's gonna be picking
up my order because I don't want Corey to bring me
he brings cold food he brings cold food every fucking time he doesn't use thermal bag I immediately cancel if he's the one who's going to be picking up my order because I don't want Corey to bring food anymore.
He brings cold food.
He brings cold food every fucking time.
He doesn't use a thermal bag, and he'll make an extra stop.
I hate that.
I've been on the phone with our customer support three or four times now.
I'll sit on the line.
That's fucking lame.
I'll sit on the line.
Look, my accountant was like,
Kylo, Kylo is that a lot huh your accountant made a comment about how much food the accountant and my banker both have the
amount of like money that you waste on food being delivered in it stresses me out yeah i mean wasted
you know how much is your time worth right you know know, I could be I can be not a lot
I can be planning for both of you guys
And so like when I see like you're I fucking do this and that and I was like, huh?
Just just go get ingredients and and bring it home. See I do that
See, I cook probably three nights a week, but the other the other three to four i'm i'm gonna order in you know today um
today i actually went to that place and i picked that food up but you know tomorrow is a rust day
how fast does postman i looked at postmates you know i'd be curious yeah and most of them are 50
to 65 minutes is that normal they're just kind of saying that so you won't so that to temper your
expectations it could be uh but but 40 minutes 40 minutes usually from placing the order to getting the food.
Because you don't know where the driver is.
They're not at Popeye's.
They've got to see your thing and then drive to Popeye's and then drive back to you.
So you never know.
And the more metro area you're in, the tighter that web is.
It's just like uber right you know like
um if you're in like fucking downtown manhattan jesus christ i bet it's like oh you want a bagel
yeah well the guy who's gonna pick it up is downstairs in your building and he's gonna
walk across the street get it and come up to you but but around here it's it's not quite that crazy
so i can get it's about 40 restaurants i guess that i can have
delivered and within 45 minutes pretty much from like 7 a.m till about 11 p.m or midnight
okay yeah i'm i'm on post post-paid site takes a little bit of training like i wanted to know
like i went i was interested in a restaurant that was closed so it didn't show up like as
a recommended one i think that's related but maybe i'll check them out i don't know yeah
um postmates is great i use um i i use it a lot it's it's one of the main apps like on my home
page like like like the like nine apps or whatever that fit on the front of my phone like postmates
right in the middle it gets that center spot i love postmates so much move over google maps
postmates gets for you oh absolutely yeah google maps is in the i gotta scroll for that if i go to
someone else's house i'm like what kind of postmates they get here and i'll i'll fucking
look it up i was at the hospital a few weeks ago someone else and i was like i might be here a
while let's uh let's see what kind of Postmates is available.
It's like, oh, Italian.
What if I had some pasta delivered to the emergency care lobby?
You think anybody would make a fuss?
Well, he said we were going for a spa day, a spaghetti day.
Are you saying spaghetti?
You want to take me for a spaghetti day?
Are you not finishing the word?
Spa?
I have a story.
I don't know.
I see Taylor linked a story too.
This kind of goes... A lot of people think that the human versus animal,
that I'm wrong.
I feel like team Kyle and Taylor is the more favored team.
Maybe 25% of people think I'm right about the effectiveness of the human grab.
I would say that most people can take out this bird we're looking at.
It's on screen.
How big is that?
Is that just a normal chicken next to it?
I think it's a rooster.
Is that like a Belize giant chicken or something?
It's just a chicken.
And we're talking about a cassowary.
Does anyone else know this animal before today?
Yes.
They're dangerous.
They can weigh up to 130 pounds.
Yeah, it's a small ostrich-looking thing.
But their legs pack a punch, and they've got a big talon.
So they can really fuck you up.
They have four-inch talons.
They can slice open
any predator or potential threat with a single swift kick although people eat cassowaries in
new guinea those who have the bird in the united states are likely to be hobbyists well it sounds
like this is a quite the deadly bird i've been face to face with an emu and i was in a cassowary
it was taller than me and i was intimidated because like i i first
of all there was two birds are already mean and same other staring at me and i want to say i had
a sidearm on but i was like i didn't know how much an emu cost if you shoot it out there and that
ranch question it's it's like on that ranch like everything's running wild it's not one of those
things where they fucking drag a lion up to you all beaten up and you blow you blast it it's like on that ranch like everything's running wild it's not one of those things where they fucking drag a lion up to you
all beaten up and you blast it
it's like you're on a safari
so like if you're there to shoot
let's just make up an animal like an antelope
but you accidentally hit a red stag
that's a real animal you didn't make that up
well okay that's true
if you're there to shoot a hippogriff
and
suddenly a snarlak comes along
and you accidentally hit the fucking snarlak,
they're still going to charge you snarlak prices
because you downed a snarlak.
That makes sense.
And if you've ever seen a snarlak pit,
the taxidermy alone is going to cost an arm and a leg.
I can't imagine this bird is worth that much, right?
No, probably not.
Not if they eat them.
What I'm getting at is those big birds
are fucking intimidating, and I would not want to
face off against an emu, an ostrich,
or maybe even that.
This thing looks thigh tall to me.
130 pounds, Woody.
Yes.
Well, actually, it says up to.
They weigh up to 130 pounds.
I don't think I'm seeing a 130-pound bird.
I don't think you are either.
Let's say it's 110. Let's say it's a 110-pound bird. It's up to your pounds. I don't think I'm seeing a 130 pound bird. I don't think you are either. Let's say it's 110.
Let's say it's a 110 pound bird.
It's up to your navel.
That's a baby.
That one just hatched.
It came out of an egg.
There's a navel high egg
just off screen.
I wonder, right?
So the person that this bird killed had just fallen.
I'm trying to find out where.
It looks like it was accidental.
The gentleman was in the vicinity of the bird, and he fell.
And when he fell, he was attacked.
And I guess the guy couldn't get up or, I don't know.
75.
Was he old?
Oh, he was a 75-year-old guy who had fallen.
Oh, he was 75?
Yeah, so this bird didn't take out Taylor over there.
No, this bird took out a guy who was going to die anyway.
This bird might take me out.
What if it does the kick, and then my stomach cavity is punctured?
That's part of my question.
So the grab, I think, is more effective than a lot of people are giving it credit to.
That's how I say I could beat an eagle or something.
Eagles weigh like eight pounds i think and uh i feel like if you grab it by
anything you know how if i were to throw keys to you they're oddly easy to catch like you know they
get between your fingers and you somehow catch it i feel like birds are oddly easy to catch you
could grab it by the foot the neck the feathers like You'll get a grip on it. And then once you've got a grip on a bird,
you
control that bird because it's an eight-pound
animal. Once I have any grip
on a bird, my only defense would be to immediately
start spinning around as fast as I
can, Super Mario 64 style,
how you beat Bowser. Remember the Flintstones? Remember Bam Bam?
Bam! Bam! Bam! Bam!
Exactly.
Or you could ground it and stomp it
to shatter a cassoway to pieces
like this
I don't know how cassoways are built
maybe a leg in each hand
like an overhand like your John Cena
with a fucking folding chair
lightless birds shouldn't be birds
because they don't have those
I remember I talked about how a bird is 8 pounds
da da da da if it's because they don't have those flight... I remember I talked about how a bird is 8 pounds. Da-da-da-da!
If it's 100 pounds, 130 pounds,
it doesn't have the flightless bird things about it that make them so easy to beat
because they don't...
I'm sorry.
It doesn't have the bird weaknesses.
I think they're heavy and strong.
They're going down.
I need them to lose, of course.
No, no, I tweeted this series is over.
And so that means God thinks
that I've given up. And so maybe...
Oh, I need to tweet Go Jets Go.
That's what I have to do. It's over, right?
Oh, no, no. I misunderstood.
So St. Louis is playing right now.
The score is 2-2. I think St. Louis
is up 2-1.
No, it's 2-2 now. Tied.
The Blues won both games in Winnipeg,
and Winnipeg won both games in St. Louis.
So you're playing your fourth game?
That makes sense because the Hurricanes just played their fourth.
This is game number five.
Yeah, the series is tied 2-2.
I think we're one game ahead of the Hurricanes
because they're playing the Caps right now,
and I think they're ahead on the Caps.
Let me check.
Game is over. The Hurricanes won. Oh, they won. Good, good. I was hoping that series would go longer, and I like the Hurricanes because they're playing the Caps right now. And I think they're ahead on the Caps. Let me check. Game is over.
The Hurricanes won.
Oh, they won.
Good, good.
I was hoping that series would go longer.
And I like the Hurricanes.
Like they're an upstart.
Yeah, scrappy, growing team.
They haven't gotten their chance in years.
I think the last time they made the playoffs ever, or not ever.
The last time they made the playoffs was 2009, I think.
Yeah, it's been 10 years or something ridiculous.
And so I always like seeing teams
that have been out of the picture for so long
coming back into the fold.
And Carolina, I mean, the fact that they turned this
into a 2-2 series of the Washington,
the reigning Stanley Cup champs,
really shows they're coming out with gumption.
So I like that.
Good for Carolina.
And then the Sixers are going to win.
Actually, no, no, no, Kyle,
you want Carolina to win because I picked them.
Oh, I'm still in the blues.
I was coughing through most of the transition. Oh, yeah, you want Carolina to win because I picked them. Oh, I'm still in the blues. I was coughing through most of the
transition. Oh, yeah, the blues
will lose because
they always do.
Someone took offense to
me calling them the Sixers. I don't know what the scoop of that is.
I grew up there. My father was a big Sixers fan.
That's what they're called. I don't know what that crazy person
is thinking.
Yeah, I've always heard Sixers. I don't watch basketball
though. They're about to be up 3-1 in their series, so nice. Yeah. No uh they're yeah i've always heard sixers i don't watch basketball though they're about to be up three one in their series so nice yeah no they're about to be up sport they're no
they're two two oh they are up to one uh my no uh hurricanes and caps are tied to two the sixers
are up oh sixers sorry yeah i don't i don't know anything about basketball so i'm new to it so
i get stuff wrong.
But I've been following it.
If you could invent an entirely new sport, what would it be like?
It would have some violence in it.
It would have combat.
I agree.
That's my first thing.
It's like, all right, this is going to be a full contact sport
where combat maybe isn't an essential part,
but it definitely is an accepted part of it, like hockey has.
Ooh, this isn't a new sport, but combat chess is an accepted part of it like hockey has this isn't a new sport but combat
chess is very interesting yeah combat chess is isn't that when you you play chess and then between
certain periods of time during your chess game you have to box for a minute or something i forget
the exact rules but that's about right i mean they're playing chess in their fighting gear
yeah i i thought i haven't looked into it, but I thought that, you know, they have that five-minute timer, and every time you make a move, you tap the timer.
I thought instead they were punching the other guy.
Like, you know how, like, expert chess players are like, clap, clap, clip, clap, clip, clap.
I thought it was going to be like, clip, pow, clip, pow, clip, pow.
Like, just back and forth.
You just have to square up and let yourself get punched
every move have you seen slap fights yeah i've seen those i don't know the rules of slap fights
but it seems like the winner is always the guy that's like all right i'm gonna make sure that
this part of my wrist hits them right in the jaw and then everything from here to there is just an
ancillary one guy noise of a slap doing like damage, and the other guy is going for knockout punches with something that looks like a slap.
Yeah.
Former pancreas champion and new slap box champion.
Yeah.
Fucking using those open-handed.
What's his name?
Boss Rooten, you're thinking of.
Boss Rooten.
I love Boss Rooten.
He tells the best stories. He used that open-hand. What's his name? Boss Rooten, you're thinking of. Boss Rooten. I love Boss Rooten. He tells the best stories.
He used that open-hand striking
stuff. He ruptured that guy's
liver that time.
Always hit livers. What?
He would intentionally
finish people via liver
because it was the most painful way to
lose a fight. Yeah, he tells this
great story. He's fighting this guy.
The guy has an Italian name. It's like
Musca Betty or something.
Mario Girobrici. Yeah, that
guy. And
that guy's complaining to the ref that
I want to say that Boss was using a closed fist
to hit him. And Boss is using this
sort of open hand technique. Sounds like a
shamrock fight. It's not.
And because
Boss was like, I'm going to make a point
of only going to the body from
now on. He
thinks I'm using a closed fist on his face.
Only shots to the body from
now on. And he just hit him in the liver over and
over and he ruptured his liver.
Where do you go for that?
Boss Ruined on his YouTube channel?
Oh, oh. It's down here.
Yeah, it's back here.
I forget which side it is.
On your right side?
I don't know.
I think it's on your right or your opponent's left.
Like the left side of your opponent or your right.
I think you need to hit him with a left hand, like sort of under the rib cage.
Yeah, it's like below where your pectoral muscles is like right here.
It's like this big below that.
It's like hitting a nice little sirloin. The liver's huge though, right? it's like this big below that it's like hitting a nice little
right like that's a huge organ well it depends how much you drink no like the liver is one of
the biggest organs yeah yeah it seems like it'd be easy to hit i had it right use your left hand
and you hit them sort of in the back um below their ribs huh i'm trying to find the liver rupture video
because it's actually...
Yeah, it's...
It's pretty long.
Yeah, we certainly wouldn't watch that.
We should also watch this, at some point,
this Pussy Pass Denied video Chiz had
because he's very good at hardscoping
that subreddit.
I never really go there, but he's always got some gems.
I went through a pussy pass denied phase
maybe two years ago.
No, it's not that.
I mean, it seems like
it's, and this is coming from
someone who never goes there, but from what
I've seen, it seems like it's
30% legit and 70%
situations where a woman
just gets shit on and people are rejoicing
in it.
I don't care for that.
This video's not loading for me. Is the page still working?
Oh, let me make sure.
I took the same link that
Chiz sent us.
Yeah, my link worked.
Oh, no, it didn't.
No, it did not. I guess it got deleted sorry cheers um yeah but you're right about pussy like sometimes like a girl hits a guy guy who hits a girl back
harder i'm like i can kind of get on board with that like why were you punching a dude
don't do that uh other times like you said said, it's just, I don't know.
It's just woman-hating.
Yeah, there's some of that.
Which can be hilarious.
Sometimes they don't get it bad enough.
I'm sorry, Kyle.
Like, I don't know.
Girl falsely accuses guy of rape.
Gets out of prison 12 years later.
She gets nine months of her own.
Pussy pass denied
like wait a minute
well she did go to jail
the guy lost his 30s and she's losing
like 31
I time stamped this
we only need to watch like 8 seconds of it
this is actually a cool thing
boss rootin's youtube channel
and he talks over his old
fights I'm ready oh should we have audio on or no yeah yeah 10 minutes YouTube channel. This is his YouTube channel and he talks over his old fights
I'm ready. Oh, should we have audio on or no? Yeah. Yeah 10 minutes 30 seconds
Yeah, I'm squared up ready set play
Look how much pain he's in let's take a look at this in slow-mo. Watch my left hand. Boom. There it is.
That is already hurt.
I hope they show Boss' celebration afterwards.
The full celebration.
Right kick to the body.
Right straight high.
Liver shot to the body.
Perfect combination, as I may say so.
Look at how much pain he's in.
I told you before, you can pretty much hit
everything in the body.
Bang! Right kick to the body.
And down again.
This is the second knockdown of the fight.
And then the third is the one
where he ruptures.
Left hook and I slit
through his body.
Look at his eyes right now.
One, two, three.
Oh no, this was not
the final knockout.
He freezes it right there.
Here I go.
Full liver shot.
This audio is almost not matched up with this commentary.
You see it too, okay.
Owie.
Owie. Owie!
Oh, please show the celebration.
Come on.
Only four seconds left. I don't think it's
happening. Come on,
do it. He was just doing it in the background.
Oh, dang. He does
this thing where he, like, faces
each side of the arena and does
a jumping split where his legs go basically straight out.
He touches his feet tips like his toes.
It's incredibly athletic, yeah.
He was a heavyweight, I think, champion in pancreas.
Pancreas was the league.
It was basically full MMA like the UFC,
except there were no closed fist punches and it was barehanded.
So Bas Rutten, I was going to say he invented
it. I mean, fighting's so old, it's hard to
invent anything, but he seemed
to be the best at these
palm strikes. So he would basically
punch people with his palms
when everyone else wasn't punching.
And he just did really well.
Yeah, yeah. He
could get knockouts by hitting them
with this part of his hand.
Very fun guy.
Very smart guy.
He clearly managed to not take a lot of head damage.
He's very quick-witted.
He's a very funny guest on Rogan.
He has good stories.
Have you heard this story with the NFL player?
Probably. I'm not sure. I forget the interaction. And the Blues win it! Have you heard this story with the NFL player?
Probably.
I'm not sure.
I forget the information. And the Blues win it!
Get out.
Yep.
Won it.
Three to two.
Hell fucking yeah.
They did?
Yes!
Me tweeting,
Go Jets Go,
is what made that happen.
Because God got tricked for a minute.
But actually, God,
I still want the Jets to win,
so don't do that.
Yeah, Boss Rutan was at a party.
You stand around and they deliver the hors d'oeuvres and drinks and stuff like that.
And I forget the thing he did to the football player, but he might have stepped on his foot.
So he apologized.
The football player wasn't letting it go.
So he apologized again.
And the football player was still like gonna do something about it and then someone said do you know who that is and he's like
i don't give a fuck who that is he's like that's a heavyweight champion fighter so then the football
player apologized back to basarudin when he found out what the score was i liked the one where they're in japan trying to buy weed
and it's like fucking yakuza or something and uh you know they make the exchange real quick
because it's very illegal there and they step away and they realize they haven't been given
the amount or the thing that they had purchased so they go back over and they're like hey uh
what what gives you got the fucking money but we don't have the product.
And he's like, ah, hang on.
We're going to get some guys and we'll see about what we...
We'll try to make it right.
They're really calling backup to come beat these guys up, not knowing who they are.
The backup shows up, scarier Yakuza guys.
And they're like, do you know who you you're selling who you're ripping off right now
that is boss rutin the heavyweight fighting champion we just watched him destroy a man
down the road and they're like oh okay well here you go here's all of the drugs sir
oh that's cool so you get recognized by the tougher yakuza they probably watched fighting
show up and and yeah obviously you know you know, these guys kind of...
Yeah, obviously, yeah.
The street-level guys didn't know who this guy was,
but when their, like, scarier organized crime boss showed up
or street-level, like, Yakuza guys showed up,
they were like, ah, you're trying to rip off Boss Rooten,
the destroyer of livers.
Yeah.
Maybe just give him his shit.
I don't know why his post-fight career isn't as good as it should be, right?
Like, I think he's at least as good as Dominic Cruz, better than John Anik.
Is that his name?
You know, there's people who have been given, I think, better shots than Boss Rutten.
And, you know.
I wish he had, like, I really like Jim Norton in his show.
He's with Matt Serra, right?
He is.
Don't they do that thing together?
Jim Norton does a UFC podcast?
A big one, yeah.
It's bad.
Does he know anything about UFC?
Yeah.
Yeah.
I mean, he's certainly not a casual.
He's not, like,'s no he's not like confused
about what's going on i wasn't saying he doesn't i just didn't know yeah yeah i'm just trying to
sort of like equate the level of knowledge because he's his co-host is matt sarah a former
ufc champion okay now i think about it um briefly and uh i would i don't care for matt sarah i i
don't like his voice i don't really like his look. Is he funny? No. Slide Boss
rooting in there with Jim.
I'd fucking love that show.
You slide Boss in there and get
Matt Sarah off somewhere else.
I'd be much happier.
I'd watch the shit out of that.
Because I love Boss.
That video we were just watching, he's got a ton of those.
It's every one of his fights.
He does the commentary over his own fight.
And I want to say I'd noticed that
audio sync issue before, and I solved
that by opening two video links. You know what I mean?
Like, I fixed his audio syncing myself
by opening two YouTube videos.
I'm a big fan of his.
His in-the-ring stories
are great. The history of his
fighting career is great.
And his out-of-the-ring antics are always really funny because he's got all these stories about fake tough guys and stuff like that.
You know, the guy who was telling him about the street karate, you know, the street karate story.
And he's like, oh, street karate.
Tell me, what is this?
And he's like, oh, it's, it's you know guy messes with me i just
and he's like and when he does it he puts his fist right in my face just like that you know
and he goes and it like trembles and i'm, really? I'd love to see this technique.
Would you do it to me?
And he's like, well, I have to be really angry to do it, for it to work.
And he's like, all right.
And we'll do it on your friend.
And he does it to his friend.
And I think maybe he used like chi or something to throw his friend.
And he's like, oh, that's incredible.
You used your chi force to throw your friend across the room. Do to me and or no teach me to do it or whatever he's like well you have to be really
angry he's like all right well kick me in the balls first he's like what yeah kick me in the
balls as hard as you can and then i'm gonna do it to you and he's like and he's like no no mr root
and i will not kick you in the balls
and then allow you to attack me with the technique.
No, that's okay.
He's got a lot of good stories.
And he's got a real fun personality.
Like, he's clearly not like, he's not like a, he's a real tough guy.
So I think the thing that comes along with that is a confidence
and a self-deprecating type thing where he doesn't take himself too seriously.
He's like,
we all know that I'm the world champion.
So that's established.
Now going forward,
let's talk about some silly stuff and all the goofy things that I've done,
you know,
and it's real fun fighting or maybe a bar fighting video.
And he's like,
first I do this and then this,
and then you'll pull it.
You don't like it in the movies where where they grab someone's head by the back
and push it down four feet
to hit it on the table then lift it up again
as if my
would you like to see a magic trick
as if my arm is stronger than anyone's entire
lower back and core
and that's like the kind of
and it's just funny
yeah
I am
you're so happy about St. Yeah. Yeah. I am not stoked.
You're so happy about St. Louis.
I am.
No.
I'm upset that my Jets lost the game.
And with any luck, it depends.
Hey, Taylor, how are you going to feel?
I'm going to come back with a vengeance and clear out the series in seven.
Go Jets, go.
How's that going to make you feel, Taylor?
Let's just say, to follow this little train of thought that you're using right now,
if the Jets don't come back and tie up the series, if they don't,
how will that make you feel?
I'll be furious.
I bet you will.
I'll be so upset because the Jets, you know, they deserve this series.
And being a Winnipeg man myself,
like, go Jets go, is all I have to say.
Where did the Hurricanes come from?
The Hurricanes?
They were the Hartford Whalers. I think it's when cold air in the...
All right, you got it.
It's when warm air rises from the water.
They were the Hartford Whalers, and the biggest
tragedy about the Hartford Whalers no longer
being a franchise is that they had
some of the coolest
looking gear. The pants!
Their jerseys were cool, their pants
were cool, their logo was
cool, their masks, everything was cool.
All these slacker hockey players
out there skating
in shorts but the hartford whalers dressed up they wore long pants that's the thing that i i hate
about the hurricanes right now is that they don't have pants they're no no their main jerseys are
terrible that hurricane logo as their main is awful. It looks horrific. And then they wear their pirate ship flag thirds where it's mostly a black and red jersey.
And it has the, you know, the flag with the two.
I guess they're like warning.
Yeah, like because those those jerseys are sick.
I love those jerseys.
And they keep coming back to this bullshit swirl that they have.
Which is also a hurricane
thing yeah i'm looking for hartford whale there they are kyle thanks for not muting your mic and
leaving your headphones right on the mic so we get a little bit of feedback now yeah echo
yeah yeah i can hear it on the screen I'm showing the Hartford Whaler pants.
That had class.
Are you on the same page, though,
that the normal Carolina Hurricanes jerseys look bad?
I don't share your passion.
I do think they don't look great.
But you like their third jerseys.
I think it's like a choice between a 4 out of 10 and a 6 out of 10.
And I almost don't like the fact that they're the Hurricanes because you're limited, right?
If they were the Pirates or the Cougars or whatever, like a lot of things, the Buccaneers, that's like a bunch of different Pirates.
There are choices they could have done that would have allowed for some cool uniforms. What
hurricane options are there?
A little radar picture?
They could
make that cool. But honestly, like that
flag blowing?
They should have been the pirates.
The pirates would have been cool.
It was just the hurricanes.
Honestly, I think their jerseys are only third
worst to the colorado avalanche their jersey sucks it looks like 90s clip art like they need
to get that fixed it looks awful that A with the swoosh going through.
And then who is the other one that I don't like?
Oh yeah, Tampa Bay's primaries,
where it's just nothing but white and navy blue.
Just a fucking lazy ass half circle with a lightning bolt through.
A lot of these teams are kind of new,
but in basketball they do these retro jerseys
that look like they belong from the 50s.
And I think they got cool again.
I believe you.
I love retro shit.
They're straight out of the Hoosiers movie.
I've seen it.
It's pretty cool.
I think Indiana's doing it right now.
So they do some neat stuff.
So we've broken four hours I only had
I have one more topic
Let's squeeze it in here
Aquaman
And Carl Drago
Are the same people right
Yeah it's all Jason Momoa
Did you know he shaved his beard
It looks like he's doing so in this picture right now.
Oh, yeah, the preview on Discord.
I didn't see that coming.
But if you scroll down, you see him before and after beard.
What do we think of this?
Good looking.
Good looking guy.
Is this helping him get past the Carl Dragos typecasting?
Aquaman has a beard.
Oh, does Aquaman have a beard?
Yeah.
He has in the last movie or two.
Yeah, but nobody knows shit about Aquaman.
He sucks. Have you seen any of Frontier?
His Netflix show?
No. Is it good? Yeah, I
tried to start watching it and I got maybe
four episodes in and I was
actively trying to enjoy it
like this is a cool setting it's a cool possible mix of people oh yeah but like maybe three episodes
in i'm like this honestly it just fucking sucks it sucks it's not i've seen it all i've seen it
all i give i gave it every chance i watched it i've watched it how many episodes are there
there's three seasons, man.
Oh, well, then why are you still watching this piece?
How does it sound?
I've heard him in Aquaman where he sounds like Thor.
He sounds very gruff.
In this movie, he's a frontiers trapper who's half Native American and half French.
And he's a bad motherfucker that kills people.
And in real life, he's neither of those things.
He kills people.
Which is cool.
Well, he was Karl Drogo with his curved sword and everything and they're pretty badass there as well
are you calling him carl now too uh only only because it's funny but he the show is bad and
it's a great premise for a show it's like that that that weird part of american history where
like the the the french there are french canadians and americans all vying for like like that, that, that weird part of American history where like the, the, the, the French,
there are French Canadians and Americans all vying for like,
like,
like that chunk of territory up in the Northeast and the trapping rights for
it.
And,
and there's,
it's sort of a,
you know,
a no man's land where like,
oh,
well they own this part of the river and we own that part.
And then these other guys are like,
fuck it.
Nobody owns anything. I'm going to take whatever I want. And it's, it's a great premise, but God damn own that part. And then these other guys are like, fuck it. Nobody owns anything.
I'm going to take whatever I want.
And it's,
it's a great premise,
but God damn it sucks.
And that I hate,
I hate most of the fucking characters in that show.
And I don't think there's any titties.
They hint at titties.
There's a lot of cleavage,
but no titties.
It's,
it's,
it's upsetting.
I don't like it at all.
I think he's good at it.
He's fine.
But everybody else literally sucks.
Everybody else is awful in it.
That red-headed woman, the blonde girl that's pretending like she's got titties with a bustier,
and her brother who's got the most yellow teeth I've ever seen,
which is, I guess, correct for the period.
But I like my
period pieces get the teeth looking right get some softened get some boogie teeth you know
yeah boogie boogie's teeth change the game for him like hair too people like his hair i should
we should have mentioned something his hair looks i told him it looks it looks much better i think yeah you must have and the teeth really are such an integral part you've got great teeth so you don't get the struggle
or do you have great teeth we don't know how many cavities have you had oh not that many in the teeth
that matter it's the like i was saying before the show maybe it's my wisdom teeth in the back
that get lots of cavities and I just don't care.
And I just wait.
You still have your wisdom teeth?
I have had two taken out.
One that has never come in yet, but it's back there.
And one that's in and is about to be pulled.
I'm about to get it.
I've been to the dentist a hundred times about, you know, not about wisdom teeth,
but about other problems and grinding and stuff.
And they've always done a little x-ray and been like,
well,
you,
yeah,
you've got no wisdom teeth.
Well,
you have one,
but it's not ever going to descend.
And I just was,
I felt like I had something behind my,
my,
my back upper right molar the other day.
I put my finger back there and I can feel
the point of a tooth starting to
emerge behind
my back right one.
You're so adorable.
He's going to start drooling like crazy.
If I hadn't touched it, I wouldn't know.
And I'm just hoping that's as far as
it gets. But that won't be as far as it gets
because I'll have to do
some super fucking expensive dental thing and my insurance is gonna say oh not in taylor's case they're gonna
it's gonna grow in and there'll be another one to care for well this is gonna mess up your already
constructed teeth and also your insurance says this is cosmetic that pissed me off so fucking
much when my insurance would not acknowledge that my teeth reconstruction and putting that stuff on to fix my bite
was cosmetic. Did you win or lose that?
I lost. I had to pay everything.
They said, oh, it's all cosmetic.
It's like, no, it's not. I sent
you a letter from my dentist saying,
hey, this guy has got to fix his teeth
now or he's going to grind them down to nothing
and have all replacement teeth. He has
to do this to fix his bite. Those
fucking cunts still said
it was cosmetic.
Getting a tooth pulled is $200.
In my case, it was.
With no insurance.
It was like...
I got Tylenol 3, which has codeine in it,
which is incredible.
I don't care about that. I just don't want to have to pay a bunch of money
for my teeth again.
You may have had an ideal situation.
If your tooth was impacted,
then that's a different
thing. They need to put you under general anesthesia.
When I got mine out, it was much more expensive.
It was general anesthesia.
They cut open and fined
them, and it was a bigger deal.
Mine's out.
It's back there. It's a tooth.
I think I just didn't brush it
well. It's so far back there that it was really hard to like brush it correctly like i i i just wasn't brushing
i'm a solid ass brusher my teeth like i i didn't go to the dentist for two and a half years at one
point and i was like i'm gonna be full of cavities i'm gonna be it's gonna be out of control and i
went in i had two cavities two that's twice as many
have i had in my life yeah it was very few for me because i went in with my brothers and this
was when i was maybe like seven or eight eighteen or something and we all went in and none of us
had been to a dentist for like two and a half years one of my brothers had uh 18 cavities like he just didn't he just didn't brush his teeth well
at all the other one had i think seven and i had two and some of it might be genetic like my wife
is convinced that i'm just like lucky and that i don't get cavities very easily i i might be i also
brush really well and really long and It started when I had braces.
I just got into that.
It took me forever to get around all the braces
and then when they came off, I just continued to
overdo it. Are you a full
two-minute guy with the brushing?
Because I am.
I brush in the shower, which is uncommon,
but that's how I do it.
I might be a six-minute brusher. I don't know.
I just brush for a while. Yeah. Well, brushing is important, but that's how I do it. And I just feel like I might be a six-minute brusher. I don't know. I just brush for a while.
Yeah.
Well, brushing is important, everyone.
It's an important thing to do.
That might be the note that we leave on.
Yeah.
Kyle, are there any outros?
Nope. I've got the story of Easter,
and I'll tell it next week.
Wonderful.
PKA 435.