Painkiller Already - Painkiller Already #486
Episode Date: April 17, 2020In this week's PKA, we got More Plates More Dates on the show and the guys get down and dirty discussing steroids on the show, as well as his experience using various products. He gets into his brain ...stack, the kind of vitamins and supplements he takes, to get his body and mind to next level... levels. The fellas also spend a good chunk of time talking Netflix's Tiger King and the happenings around the show since it's release and everyone consuming it and sadly there's some disappointed UFC talk as another card is cancelled.
Transcript
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Smart Mouth Postmates.
BKA, episode 46 with our guest Derek
from More Plates, More Dates.
Kyle?
A couple of sponsors tonight.
Blue Chew, Smart Mouth, and Postmates.
But yeah, we got Derek on the show.
We're this expert on all things gear related.
This is going to be a fun show.
We have tons of questions.
I think all three of us have been watching
a good bit of your content.
It's really entertaining stuff.
It's giving me body dysmorphia.
Yes! Oh my god, dude.
If you could do me a favor.
I saw your clip where you were like,
it'd be an honor for More Plates, More Days to call me fat.
I was fucking
dying, dude.
It's only a matter of time. Everything from here down,
just a... Well, really, this is my
good range.
Up here, fuck the trash. Absolute range. This is a level here. Fuck the trash.
Absolute garbage.
I've been getting compliments on body progress,
and it's like, yes, you fools see me from like,
you judge my body from the top of my chest to my collarbone.
Do you have a home gym, or how are you training now?
Or are you training?
I have a home gym, and I've taken to calisthenics something about
them the progress i make is more rewarding to me like i if you were to tell me how much you bench
i don't really have a good vibe for how much that is and that's good that becomes even more true
when you move to like squats or romanian deadlifts or whatever like those numbers don't mean much
but if i said i did 60 pull-ups last night a lot of people are like oh that's a lot
of fucking pull-ups right and something about that i find rewarding by the way i don't do them in a
row don't let me lie to you but uh i i i live stream and i do pull-ups and push-ups when i suck
and some nights that's a lot of exercise yeah that's how that's all i would say that's arguably
a better uh gauge gauge of athleticism anyways
like bodyweight shit
most bodybuilders are jacked as fuck
but put them on a pull-up bar
they can do like 10 pull-ups
yeah but they look sick walking around
I saw a clip from World's Strongest Man
I saw a clip from World's Strongest Man the other day
and like whatever
the winner was trying to hug
the second place guy
and it looked like two turtles trying to hug the second place guy and they were it looked like
two turtles trying to hug let's rub her let's get my corso's broke yeah it might be gay but
i kind of want to experience that i want to hug from one of those dudes
it'd make me it would feel maybe emasculating be like god i'm a bitch my my what if that big guy
gives you a squeeze and he gives your ass cheek a nice big grab while he's hugging you
what you can't say anything you have to go oh oh the mountain ut
my friend's dad uh he was this enormous guy from yugoslavia that's what it was at the time of
course and he what is that disease where you have like too much naturally producing hgh in your
hand he had that and his hands were like hands you just don't see on normal people and his voice
was like andre the giants and uh and just every time you were with him, I'm like growing up, I'm becoming a man.
And it's like, I don't think I'll ever become this.
This is something else.
And just fun fact, my friend had cystic fibrosis,
so his dad had to like beat on his back
to break up the mucus and stuff in his lungs.
That is a fun fact.
And yeah, what an enjoyable fact.
And he was just the perfect dad for it
because he had these gigantic mitts of clubs
that would just pound on his back and help him feel better.
Until his son was a nice puddle on the bed.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
I've always thought like, man, if I'm going to get some disease,
becoming big and strong without having to work for it
has got to be a pretty good disease.
But then you look at those faces that you grow
and you can't use smartphones anymore because of your sausage hands not a good disease and it
makes your heart like three times as large which is actually bad for you it's like a misconception
that that disease like everyone thinks growth hormone is just you inject as much as you want
you get super jacked but in reality when you look at like andre the giant they're big humans but
they're not really like muscular
in terms of development wise you know what i mean yeah it's like it's like a totally different
mechanism so they grow like these fucked up extremities their noses get massive ears get
huge huge like protruding facial features and stuff but they don't they look more like shrek
than he-man yeah yeah yeah that's fair i think of like a uh like a traditional caveman
or whatever and that's yeah you know essentially what they develop into but it's not like
you know it's not like a good thing some people think oh more gh the better it's like
that would be like honestly like that's not a good thing in almost any aspect even if you were to
you know consider it from a bodybuilding perspective. GH is for preventing like joint damage, right? Isn't that the thing that why people pair
steroids and GH? Am I right on that? Typically, it's like, it's largely what regulates fat loss.
Like it's a very, you know, people think you're going to get shredded when you use it. And it
does help to some extent, but it's more so it's sort of like a balancing act i don't i'm trying to get not
too sciencey because i come off so pretentious when i talk about this shit sometimes go for it
man um but yeah it's like a lot of it has to do with like joints integrity tendons ligaments stuff
like that but that's why when you use way too much of it too, you end up with like an over abundance of,
you know,
like pointy ass elbows and like fucked up,
you know,
extremities and stuff like that.
Huh?
Do you take growth hormone?
No,
I don't.
Have you ever though?
Yeah.
Yeah.
So we should have laid it.
What,
what I would describe the premise of your channel is a series of
scientific experiments on gear and SARMs and that whole
class of things on you. So you'll try it for, I'm making up timelines, like a number of weeks or
months and say, this is what this SARM did to me. This is what I took. This is how long I took it.
And this is how I felt about it. Another little fact finding thing for people watching, can you
kind of go through the, I guess, vocabulary, vocabulary like sarms the different kinds of steroids like i don't know anything i know like from watching
your videos like finasteride or something like that like i'm sure there's a bunch of different
kinds just just so people can kind of get it okay so like in general the breakdown of different
like classes of compounds is like anabolic steroids which is like all the shit you've
probably heard of like oh d-ball uh testosterone deca that kind of stuff trend balloon that's all
anabolic steroids and that's largely what's going to dictate muscle growth like that's like the base
of everything to do with muscle essentially in your body, like 90% of it is driven by,
and that's just a rough estimate. It's obviously not, you know, the main thing is like your
testosterone in your body is it's technically on a, in a dictionary, it's a androgen, but all the
anabolic steroids that people use for muscle growth are derived from that testosterone molecule.
So those things that you hear of the trend alone, the DECA, the whatever, those are all in the anabolic steroid class. As far as
what SARMs are, typically, I wouldn't even tell somebody it's worth exploring until they
understand the first thing. I actually did a video recently called the anabolic steroid family tree and for anyone who wants like a
Like a very newbie breakdown of each steroid because even within that category
There's like different types of categories and it gets really complicated
You know what? I mean? Like a lot of people when they when they watch my shit
They're like, what is this guy even fucking talking about?
You know, like you don't know where to start this thing provides a framework of like, okay
Here's like the parent molecule testosterone about you know like you don't know where to start this thing provides a framework of like okay here's
like the parent molecule testosterone here's this class of compound this class and this class
they each have this type of impact on athletic performance they might be leveraged in this sport
versus this sport versus this sport they might be used for this goal versus this goal you know
what i mean and then so those are like the steroids. SARMs is kind
of like something that was supposed to replace steroids. Because if a girl or a kid uses a
steroid in like a medical setting, so let's say some kid or some woman has muscle wasting or
something, instead of injecting them with a steroid, which the past we've seen you know makes them you know
get masculinizing side effects which is obviously not a good outcome for some little kid
who hasn't even hit puberty yet to be jabbing with testosterone or whatever or some chick so
sarms are meant to like replace the muscle building capacity of a steroid without making them
like a man pretty much.
Tell me how close I'm coming.
I'm sorry, Kyle.
I know you're biting at the bit too.
And you're chomping at the bit.
Chomping at it.
Yeah, yeah.
So they're androgen receptors.
And those are all kinds of different things that react to testosterone,
maybe growing a mustache, muscles, et cetera.
And then SARMs are specific androgen receptors.
That's the S.
And ideally, if things work perfectly, SARMs are like steroids that only impact muscles.
Am I close?
Yeah.
Like the chemical structure of them, you can't really define them as a steroid because they're not technically derived from that like testosterone molecule.
But they're like a synthetic drug, whereas testosterone is actually like something you
produce. The S is specific, right? Specific androgen receptor molecule that I guess.
So basically how you would build muscle, like at the most basic level is you have androgen
receptors in your muscles, in your everywhere in your body. And for the steroid to work,
it needs to bind to the androgen receptor and transcribe its effects in the tissue.
So that's why you would have a certain steroid, you know, goes into has a certain affinity to bind to muscle here or affinity to bind to your prostate or affinity to bind to somewhere.
and how, you know, the characterization of what it does depends on the chemical, the affinity to bind, it's a level of how much it's going to masculinize you, like there's like a whole
sub layer of shit underneath that. But basically, the target of all of them is essentially the
androgen receptor, whereby they build the muscle essentially, and like, you know, maintain bone and
all this kind of stuff. But there's like off-target activity which is like next level shit not even worth elaborating
on where you have like stuff that prevents muscle wasting like by hitting glucocorticoid receptors
which prevents cortisol from transcribing its effects because cortisol is anti you know
catabolic and whatnot like there's a whole
another section of that but at a base level yeah like the androgen receptor is basically what
essentially facilitates if a steroid is even because you could have a steroid floating around that's not really doing if it's not binding to the receptor first and then doing its thing
so kyle did you still want to get in yeah so you've got the series of videos where you look at various Hollywood actors
and you see the body transformations they go through.
And I would like to see maybe,
because this is something we discuss on the show a lot.
Woody and I are big MMA fans, UFC specifically.
And there are a few female athletes that we look at
and we're like...
They're very ugly.
Bullshit!
Bullshit! Bullshit! we look at and uh and we're like very ugly bullshit bullshit bullshit like like like um chris cyborg 100 i mean she's tested positive for um i don't know what the what it was maybe it was
clomid it was uh it was something you take in conjunction with steroids or something she's
tested positive twice for things and the thing that's uh sorry to cut you off but basically the
thing that's really obvious about the ufc and like their testing parameters is it's always the thing
that you would use to recover after a cycle that they get popped for it's never the hormone they're
using and if it is it's always like weird, like downstream metabolite that they basically fucked up and didn't get out of their system in time.
So it's like, to me, it's always a really obvious red flag.
Like, why would you be using Clomid?
You know what I mean?
Like, there's no performance enhancing advantage to having Clomid in your system.
And the only logical conclusion as to why you would have it in your system and why all these fighters have it is you just did something
and now you're trying to recover.
Yeah, exactly.
But I would like you to look at some of these ladies' bodies.
The Chinese champion comes to mind.
Wei Li, yeah.
I don't trust people from that part of the world
very much anyway with their bodies.
No, I feel like the Chinese
and the Russians in particular have gotten caught
cheating in one way or another so many times
in international competition. They certainly cheat
in video games. They cheat in
video games, alright.
I'm just saying, it's factual.
And I know Woody thinks, he
looks at Holly Holmes' bikini line and he thinks
maybe there's a little bit too much going on down
there. That woman has an enlarged
labia clitoris thing cooking.
She's a one percentile in that regard.
It doesn't look that big to me.
Her fighter name is The Preacher's Daughter.
I won't have you sully her good name.
I'm going to look up The Preacher's Daughter clit,
and I'll give you my...
I'm going to find a completely different...
Just ignore all the postings that i made
there um no but and then chris cyborg in particular like not a helpful search at all chris cyborg has
it looks like she's had like cranial development like like look it up here yeah like chris cyborg
in particular um what does she squat for reps, Woody? Is it 300 or 400?
Oh, I don't know that.
I don't know.
It's something absurd.
That's insane.
For reps.
For reps.
And it's not one of those where you see a girl maxing out on Reddit,
and you're like, oh, my God, that was incredible.
And it's clear that she just blew her load lifting this.
What's up, everybody?
She's pumping 300 or 400.
The thing i would
look to that i typically like if you were looking at a girl specifically to see if they've used
anything i would look to their younger pictures and see if they looked way more feminine like i'm
trying to find younger pictures of her to see if she ever looked like normal yeah yeah i i've never
seen her look normal chris cyborg she's been ugly since the beginning
but like objectively less so relative to current is what i'm trying to find
that one's a mother young chris cyborg uh
here this is time stamped at 344 oh her head's definitely gotten bigger, Chris Cyborg.
I love that.
Oh, wow.
Holly Holm, is she natural?
Look at her clit and decide for yourself.
Welcome to the show.
I'm just saying, looking at that myself,
I don't see anything that's out of life.
That doesn't look unnatural to me, what she's got going on down there.
I've seen her zoomed in plenty of times.
This is a good Christian gal.
This isn't like a doctored photo.
How do we know that for sure?
Have you seen the live weigh-in?
Yeah, that's the kind of thing i watch i hardly
miss a weigh-in i'm really into the ufc and that's just a defining attribute of her right
that one just based on like typically i would look at facial features before i'd look at just
like a fucking camel toe to be honest okay so it's kind of. I look where I look and I'm not changing.
It draws the eye.
It does.
It draws the eye.
See a big meaty clam,
you notice.
Her body fat is so low.
She's so strong. She has a body a lot of guys
would trade for.
And that's just...
I don't know.
She's buff.
But yeah, I think I'm just looking at some recent pictures of her now.
We're talking about Holly Holm now, right?
Yeah, I think it's Holm's ES.
It's not.
It's not?
No, you've been pronouncing it that way for years.
I just let it go.
That's true.
Fact check? True. That's funny. that's true fact check true
that's funny
so like here I would look at something
like I would look at something like
this
and then I would cross reference
what year that was but there it's like
notably more
feminine I would say or just younger
looking but I would basically just look at a
timeline of that but nowadays yeah the she look i wouldn't doubt she's on something now yeah and
and she's probably not cutting as much weight to be fair in this photo because this is when she was
doing pro boxing um right classes are a little different um they can be yeah she looks uh she
looks more muscular now for sure and drier and obviously
she has to cut down for weight classes but i mean i wouldn't put it honestly like the testing
in the ufc it's like on the surface i think it's very you know like oh we show up at your door
randomly and we test you and it's super intense but but it's like, in reality, it seems like to actually get
to the point of, we're going to use like a carbon isotope ratio or whatever the most elaborate,
precise measurement is on you to see what exactly did you take? They have to basically fail
a ratio of like testosterone to epi testosterone test first. And that ratio i've seen in studies myself you can use upwards
of like 300 milligrams a week and still not tip that ratio jesus yeah so like it sounds like on
this yeah that's like you you would probably make like naturally six to seven milligrams a day so
like per week that's like you know around normal you know you could be having
like four times the average natural production just from that yeah so seven a day is 49 a week
right and you can yeah you could add 300 to that I guess you'd probably shut down so you'd have
three that's like a good that's like a good average trt dose the 300 a week that's no that would be like
cycle territory really what would it be is like so basically if you produce like it's actually
the range of three to ten milligrams a day is like the full range for the shittiest of guy to
like the top echelon of genetic elite for natural production so at the best you could produce like 70 a week
and then if you were taking let's just say even 200 milligrams like they've shown in the studies
that 125 a week is kind of where you start to get into supra physiological range you know what i
mean so like above and beyond what you would naturally do, even if you were like the pinnacle of fucking natural production,
which realistically how many are like the likelihood?
Yeah.
The likelihood is low.
So anyways,
one 25 is like where things start to really get unfair advantage territory.
And then anything above and beyond that 300 is like,
you could sit at home and gain more muscle
than a guy like going to the gym with like natural production almost really that what
did that place i linked you a while back that trt place that's what they'll start you out at
at what 300 really but like that ring ring yeah it's like while that sounds good objectively it's like if you're gonna do like optimization you want to try
and start at where you're at that high normal level and then see how your body responds before
you push it into that okay now you're doing bodybuilder type shit because there's it's not
like it's you know side effect free or anything you know what i mean let's talk about side effects
so i think of your channel being about gear and muscle growth but almost a quarter of your videos are
about hair loss like that's another area where you go into and i'm you did a video on connor
murphy for people who don't know connor murphy is this like aesthetically perfect sort of fitness
industry you know if aliens came down looking for a person perfect specimen they
might pick him and then he uh he sort of backed off a little bit maybe a little less muscle maybe
a little higher body higher body fat still amazing but yeah visibly different than what he was the
year before and you theorized back there you theorized it was about hair loss. He saw hair loss and decided to make that trade off.
Yeah, so for that one, to me, it was super obvious.
And I'll just show you an example.
I actually spent the time to...
I don't usually write articles, but it's something,
if I feel like it might get indexed well by Google or something,
I'll go out of my way to write an article too.
And let me just find the image here specifically
well i trust your advice about not losing your hair you got a nice like jimmy neutron flow
going yeah have you seen that uh meme or whatever there was like a meme going around on reddit that
sort of went viral and it was like it was like somebody commented on one of my videos
it was like you look like jimmy neutron with his stats maxed out it was it was pretty fucking funny
damn i'm not alone there it went uh i i don't know what would constitute viral on reddit like i'm
assuming it did though because i just started posting it and they were like meme pages like
two million followers and stuff and i was like oh like people started posting it, and they were like, meme pages with like 2 million followers and stuff, and I
was like, oh, people kept tagging me,
and I was like, it'd be nice if these
people fucking tagged me in the caption, but
it's still been a blast.
So, let's...
Well, now you know what to dress up for
on Halloween. Yeah, exactly.
Brain
blast. So, is there hope for
Justin? You did a... It was your video i saw about justin bieber
right that is that did you do one on him uh maybe justin bieber's on steroids no justin bieber's
justin bieber was making fun of i don't know my royal family that well print somebody or other
for losing hair when he was like uh justin bieber was maybe 16 or 17 he's like what's wrong with you
bro why don't you just use this, you know, capisha or something?
I don't know them.
And fast forward 10 years and Bieber's losing his hair.
And it's like, huh, Arma.
Yeah.
So I linked the article.
I can't, for some reason, copy and paste the specific Instagram link for these pictures,
but they're hyperlinked in this article.
If you just scroll to the bottom of it, you can see, holy shit, like that's a pretty vast
difference between now he's still working out like every fucking day, but all of a sudden
he just can't maintain that physique anymore.
Like that is the biggest red flag in itself.
When you're still, your job is being in shape.
You're a fitness industry influencer who literally
does shirtless videos on camera every single time so for your physique to suddenly just for no reason
whatsoever be significantly less so than it was when you were five years younger and i've had less
time in the gym it's kind of like you know yeah one plus one equals fucking
obvious you know that makes sense and you think the reason that he decided to change is the hair
loss yeah so he was starting to have it go and like frankly it's a wise choice on his part if he
didn't have like a protocol in place or something to prevent it from getting worse it's just going
to keep getting worse and steroids obviously accelerate that significantly so for him i think he noticed holy shit i'm
starting to go and i better get off and now he's in a position where well shit my physique is not
as good as it was but i can't go back on to maintain that because it's gonna make me bald
so yeah but if you're a big muscle man you can be bald vin diesel does it that's what everyone
says man everyone's like you know the rock is attractive so fuck you shave your head and it's
like that's what everyone's justification is you know jason statham is bald bruce willis is bald
and it's like some people just don't want to go bald you know so that's true i'd look at murphy
there are so many times i see these before and after pictures and think
i'd take the before you know in this case he's the after it's not as good usually it's backwards
oh yeah he still has a good physique don't get me wrong like a lot of people they misconstrue
what i say is like shitting on the guy like in his natural form and it's like no like this is
he has a great physique even now i'm just saying when these people try to pass off,
oh, I'm natural.
I'm just bulking right now, and that's why I'm a bit soft.
It's like, no, dude, you weigh 20 pounds less now,
and you don't look anything like you did when you were 22 years old,
and now you're 27, and you still work out five days a week.
Yeah.
I guess if you know what to look for, it's easy to say.
You said he could be a beast with a bald head
and still look great, but he might
choose, instead of having a perfect 10 body
a 9.5 with a head of hair.
Exactly.
Objectively to women,
they're not going to respond much
different to him before
versus after. It's only the guys
and people like me who fucking see it
who are like, oh, you've lost muscle now. He's only the guys and yeah like me who fucking see it who are like oh you've
lost muscle now but he's only getting less dude compliments yeah he's not trying to pick you up
derek there's like a scale of like attraction to women and like dude attention you know what i mean
and it's like the line the threshold is very low for what you need to do to actually be peaked for
attracting women and a lot of people think oh oh, I've got to take all the
shit to get girls
and they end up just making it worse
for themselves. Really, it's more about money.
That's it.
Exactly.
Man, that guy's been goosing his bank account
a bit.
His wallet's
so thick, he sits sideways.
Oh, man.
Yeah, since he's like George Costanza. He sits like this with his wallet's so thick you sit sideways oh man yeah he's like george kastanza
mr b style wallet so so what what initially got you into this like you're someone who's
obviously been into fitness for a very long time did you get into just weightlifting as a young
man and then at one point you felt like you kind of maxed out and you're like i'm taking this to
the next level or is it a little different than that like as far as getting
on like gear or getting on youtube and stuff uh getting on gear like starting yeah steroids and
stuff realistically i did it a lot of my content is based on shit mistakes i've made that i wouldn't
do now that i know better so like for me it was more like i at the time i had
aspirations of competing and bodybuilding shows and stuff and i was really deluded about genetic
potential and thought oh i'm getting this fast now so by the time i'm graduated from university
i'll be like 260 shredded and like none of the fucking other possibilities of anything happening hair loss
like side effects this that longevity none of that stuff crossed my mind and then as it started to
get to like closer to the end of my university and i was just starting to realize and learn some more
shit i sort of thought to myself wow like i approached that so badly and then i just pulled
everything way back and then i sort of started posting about it and i guess it kind of picked
up from there but what it got me into it at first is the same like superficial reasons anybody else
would you know like oh i want to be jacked as fuck to like get girls and be strong and
maybe compete if i you know it works out but like but it wasn't like be a better paul volter or some
sport no no i was actually a basketball player in high school so it was like i was a rail when i
started i was 140 pounds 138 pounds at my same height and um it was had nothing to do i actually
got way shittier at basketball when i started working out because my three-point shot got
thrown off by all the once you increase your bench press by 50 pounds all of a sudden your muscle memory for a three
pointer is like way off so yeah I'd rather be able to bench 300 than make a lot of threes though
I would have guessed the opposite actually like for a weak person to me I think about when I was
really young and I tried to make a three-point shot 100 effort took away
from any kind of finesse and then as I got older I'm still sucked don't let me lie to you but like
now that I have enough muscle to throw a ball that far I can devote a little more attention to
finesse and accuracy as opposed to just getting it cross yeah once you've developed that stroke
for like 10 years of your life and it's just locked in and then all of a sudden you throw
that off massively by gaining any amount of muscle it's like you've got to relearn 10 years of you
know a completely methodical thing that was subconscious before all of a sudden i'm shooting
just bricks after bricks and it was just uh i wasn't going to pursue it in university really
anyways because i wasn't good enough but so that was largely why I kind of, you know, diverted to bodybuilding anyway.
So I was like, you know, this is a better use of my time realistically.
So does hair come back?
Is that a thing with outside surgery and how gone it is and what you're willing to do to get it back?
it is and what you're willing to do to get it back so like a lot of my content is about a lot of my content well not i guess you know a significant amount of my content started to be
about that because that's one of the main reasons i stopped taking a lot of gear is because i had
a shit ton of hair loss and for me it was like that trade-off wasn't worth it to really push
the dosages anymore and i found i could maintain a very good physique, which wasn't that far off from where I was at the time, to be
honest with next to nothing like TRT dosages. So for me, it was like, you know, as far as getting
your hair back, it depends how aggressive it is and what you're willing to do to get it. Like I
said, but yeah, you can in a lot of cases for some people it's like you're kind of delaying the inevitable but for some people it's uh
at the end of the day the being alive you're kind of like just delaying dying to begin with
so it's like whatever you can do even hair it's basically like it's a fun way to look at it
because hairs are just organs too so trying to maintain the longevity of them
it's like some people think it's just you know you're prolonging the inevitable but it's like
yeah you're prolonging the inevitable of anything on this earth you know what i mean so maybe that's
a weird way to put it but i mean for most people they should be able to stave it off long enough
to go the majority of their life with much better hair than they would otherwise so your hair went way back i assume and then you hopped off and it
just started creeping back forward like a hairline or is it thick and thinness of the hair where you
just like was wispy but the same hairline yeah let me uh pull up a before i probably i don't
actually don't know if i'm gonna be able to to send it here. In that Connor Murphy video, I actually showed my before
one of my worst points, actually.
I don't know if I can... Can I send a picture in this thread?
Yeah, you can just drag it right into the chat box.
If it's on a browser, you can right-click copy image
and paste an image into the Discord too.
Okay, let me see.
paste an image into the discord too okay let me see
getting thinner
oh I see some photos on this article
damn this guy
this guy's triceps are just outrageous
which one are we talking about
just one of these photos of
yeah connor's 2016 physique like chiseled out of marble which which one is it can you help me find
the one you like uh it's blue shorts like halfway down the page of the the article that uh derrick
linked uh blue standing in front of the sign that says zara okay i'll look for that so there's a screenshot from that video
let's see oh yeah oh wow yeah that was definitely thinning up and it's like this is the same wall
that before picture is so a lot of people they'll look at it and say oh the lighting is different
like that's all it is and you know i've been in the same fucking video frame for
about four years now so i think it's pretty obvious to tell if it's getting worse or not
and so what brought it back was it just going off of the gear or did you have to do something to
bring it back your you know um so that's a lot of my experimentation sort of i found it intersected
really well with bodybuilding some like of like the, the pharmacology,
just like the study of drugs,
essentially sort of intertwined with the bodybuilding scene really well.
So as I kind of like delved into both,
I sort of learned about both simultaneously throughout my YouTube.
And some of the stuff that brought it back really well was like,
I've tried.
So like traditional stuff,
like there's,
you know,
finasteride, i'm sure you
guys have heard of there is um i don't know if you've heard of ketoconazole shampoo before
that's like an over-the-counter shampoo that's less risky than finasteride and it works pretty
well or it works okay anyways um minoxidil is another one i'm sure you guys have heard of that
one i've heard um i haven't i don't use that personally but that's another one that's really effective um something called ru5841 it's
like an experimental chemical that i've sort of i guess become known for my use of it because i've
been using it since like the start of my youtube posting and that's helped quite a bit for me too
uh and then honestly there's like a whole bunch of other shit that listing it out would kind of be i feel like boring for people how fast does it work right like like sometimes i find any kind
of drug trial like to see what works whatever like it takes so long it's hard to tell if it
did anything right like if you used a shampoo for whatever a year before you saw any results it
it's subtle it's slow it's they how do you
test it how did you go six weeks and see what it did so it's like the life cycle of a hair
is quite a while actually it's like several several months so typically to see if a treatment
works you have to like what i do it sounds fucking stupid but anyways let me just give me a sec here
to elaborate i have this like a hair catcher in my shower and you can see visibly how much hair falls
out of your head each shower.
So instead of waiting to see cosmetically, is my hair getting worse or better?
I look at this catcher thing.
Am I losing more hair or less hair?
And then when I do a new treatment or I like do an experiment or whatever, I come off of
whatever I was using.
I wait for what can happen.
And when you come off as you have a shedding phase, which kind of is like anytime you have
a hormone fluctuation, you can call it a shed without getting too off track.
Anyways, you wait for that to finish.
And then I would introduce the new whatever I'm using and then try that for several months,
assess the hair catcher thing as well as
obviously look in the mirror but i mean that can take months like obviously even for somebody who's
balding it takes years before they visually see it in a mirror so for me by looking at this hair
catcher i can kind of gauge am i losing more hair less hair are the hairs becoming miniaturized
which is like if a hair follicle is getting damaged
essentially the hairs get smaller and skinnier rather than what is called a terminal hair which
is like a healthy long like dark thick hair so it's like a little shitty like skinny wispy
white thing is like you know it's dying kind of thing um and yeah i kind of just like assess that
i do like before and after comparisons and then i'll post a video or whatever and say if i think this thing is worth
doing or not um and uh yeah it's just been like trial and error for years to be honest with the
women in your house send them to another shower because i that would fill my hair catcher it's
those girls just like that's where the hair comes from like a little thing and then after i shower
just like pick it up and i like look at it and if it's like okay rather than it being it's not like i individually
count them in or anything like that but you can know that would be crazy you would think that's
crazy but uh anyway so i just like look at the fucking thing and say okay is there way more than
usual and yeah all right you can kind of just you get
a good gauge you know so i've got a question um i have some regrets i made a tweet about you
and it said something close to hey is this like the perfect male body or is it too much
paraphrased and afterwards i was I was like, what an asshole.
So my sense of self is that I'm just an idiot that everyone ignores, right?
But I don't know how many people follow me on Twitter,
like 180,000 or something like that.
And it's like, he didn't ask for all these people
to have an opinion on him.
So first of all, I'm sorry.
But second, how did that go for you?
What did you think of the tweet
of the reactions like did it bug you you okay did you watch my video i put up yeah i did but
that is your public persona right like like that's like my stage version even yeah yeah you can say
that right but you might have been at home like, fuck, you know, like what a dick.
Honestly, a lot of people.
That was honestly my real reaction.
Like for me, when somebody sees your physique in the gym with the downlighting and the pictures like sharpened and shit.
And you're dry.
You can see when I'm when I'm sitting here, I don't look as fucking ridiculous as i might in my pictures or even some of my
videos where i have a tank on or whatever and you know what i mean it's like just the perception of
what somebody's seeing at the time is not really representative of what you look like walking
around on the you know every day so yeah i've i've seen this stuff for so long now that i'm
realistic that i know when somebody says like oh that's fucking disgusting i know if they saw me in real life they wouldn't say the same thing and even if they did i wouldn't
really care to be honest and it wouldn't just be fear they they believe it yeah they would know for
sure i remember like a year it was probably a couple years ago now that chis suggested we do
a bit where we all bought minoxidil and And we were going to do like Chiz and Kyle,
or yeah, Chiz and Kyle were going to be like,
I'm going to apply a bunch of Minoxidil to my face,
get my beard growing thicker.
And either Chiz or Kyle was like,
Taylor, you buy some too and spread it all over your face
and grow even more hair.
And I'm like, that's hilarious.
I just dropped $ 65 on amazon for
this it was maybe like three days later after i had got it taken a picture and sent it to our you
know me kyle woody and chiz group chat that chiz like messaged me on discord or something was like
hey man i know you already bought it but i've been doing a lot of research about this and i highly
recommend you do not apply this this is not a bit for us to do it's a box somewhere if
you don't need to grow hair please taylor do not be putting this on your head and you might get
hair follicles on your fingertips or something and i was like okay all right and then i i literally
i kept that under there under my sink six bottles seven bottles of it it came with one of them like
a six bonus pack and because that's what going to do? Go werewolf with it?
I was going to put it all over my face
and see if it would be a cure-thicker.
And then a friend of mine who's been going bald
since we were
like 16, honestly.
It's okay because he's like 6'5".
Nobody sees the top of his head.
And I gave it to him
and he told me that he would start using it.
But I haven't noticed any hair growth.
So I bet he forgot.
Yeah.
Yeah.
A lot of people don't realize that it's like minoxidil is like FDA approved.
And it's the over the counter thing to use for hair and whatnot.
But it's like the way it works is actually pretty intense.
Like it causes a bunch of vasodilation.
It can lower your blood pressure a shit ton
and that's sort of how it facilitates the hair growth and some people get like hard arrhythmias
and shit like i know some people who've ended up in the hospital just from minoxidil i think that's
what turned us off to it like it sounded funny it sounded funny at first but then it was just like
wait there are health concerns to rogue gang how that possible? Why did no one tell us? Yeah, it just was like,
it can cause arrhythmias,
facial flushing, general
weakness, and in
rare cases, a loss of hair.
And I was like, well, that's
awful. Does low blood pressure
do the opposite of Blue Chew?
No, Blue Chew is a vasodilator.
Yeah, they do the same thing.
So it's like, if you had Blue Chew and minoxidil simultaneously, you might fucking pass out in theator. Yeah, they do the same thing. So it's like if you had blue chew
and minoxidil simultaneously,
you might fucking pass out in the gym
from low blood pressure for a while.
Well, minoxidil's out.
Minoxidil's out because blue chew...
Blue chew is part of my regimen.
Taylor's workout regimen.
That's great. Free workout, by the way.
Get shredded, take blue chew
and work out. Is that a good strategy?
Get nice and vascular, I guess.
For getting a good pump, yeah, it's fucking amazing, actually.
Are you talking about Viagra or the Dadao film?
Obviously Cialis.
Yeah, Cialis is better in my opinion, but that's only
because Viagra is like,
you need to have an empty stomach for it to work really well
and the half-life is only four hours.
So it's like, you have to time it when you're gonna fuck the chick whereas with cialis it's like
you just pop it you know you're good you're good for like 36 hours with oh yeah dude with
viagra you have to like methodically like plan out your fucking protocol and it's like
i have side effects with viagra like i have uh light sensitivity and headaches uh
like related to sildenafil or whatever it is um does not go down
well but to dialophil i've never had any issues other than like if i really take a lot of it like
a stuffy nose uh but but that's it that's the one side effect i have um but i gotta take the
intended one but that's 30 milligrams the stuffy nose is a big deal for me. 30 milligrams of Cialis or Viagra?
Cialis.
Jesus, fuck, dude.
That's a huge dose.
I know.
I know.
I want to see what happens.
That's a fucking hammer dose, dude.
Jesus.
Yeah, I guess I usually take either one 6 milligram chewable or two.
It says to take one or two, and I've found that.
It sure does.
And I don't recommend that anybody take more than one or two.
Of course not.
We advise everyone to abide by the packaging i honestly more than enough i think but
but um the stuffy nose is so i have sleep apnea i sleep with the cp machine dude oh yeah so the
stuffy nose means i don't breathe through my nose very well which means i don't get a very good
night's sleep and you know it you really have to decide if that's something that you want yeah i used to have uh bad problems breathing through my nose and i used to use uh the full
face mask but i hated you know waking up with the like the lines around your face and shit so i've
been trying to use the nose one too that's what i use and um yeah i find it better to be honest
but yeah i've had a c-map for like seven years now is it loud
it's kind of like you might have uh you might listen to it and be like how the fuck could you
sleep with that but it's almost just such a consistent noise that it's almost relaxing
for some people and for some it's just you forget it's there because it's yeah that's what i was
gonna say you get used to sounds like that like like no mine i've lived in the like like i've lived in a lot of different places and when i've been in parts of
the city where it's just like loud as fuck and and like for the first six months i'm just like
these fucking neighbors outside with their like hot rods spinning tires and yelling in spanish i'm
i'm never going back to sleep but but like i and I was like, I just can't get to.
I had to put Speedy Gonzalez on.
I had to hear, arriba, arriba, arriba, andale, andale.
And then I was like, oh.
Mine makes nearly no noise.
No noise.
You probably have a newer one.
You have a BPAP, don't you?
Yeah, I do.
A BPAP is like a CPAP.
But a CPAP is just pressure.
A BPAP, if it senses you're not breathing, will kick it off almost like a respirator.
But here, I want to say this. it is quieter than a ceiling fan on low it is quieter than the second hand on
a wristwatch like it is quiet it's not the kind of like if you're thinking air conditioner not in
that league you might there's you might not know it's quieter than the air coming out of your vents
you know for the air conditioner and such.
It's quiet.
The newer ones are more quiet, but I've been using the same one from...
I have a newer one, but my old one has been working fine.
It's not laziness.
I just haven't switched to the new one.
I think the new one's way quieter, but mine, I've been using the same one for seven years now.
I've always wondered how it is when you're hooking up with a chick as a single yours are you a single guy i was
going there yeah you're not when you were single and using that that cpap was it ever like you're
jacked good looking guy jimmy neutron head of hair you're going out you're picking up chicks you
bring them back you fuck you know after you've taken your to dalafil and then she decides to spend
the night you just roll over and put on your your darth vader mask is that ever everyone
everyone thinks that's like weird or awkward and honestly it's not at all i just say like
when you're big enough your neck gets to a certain size that no matter what you do
even if you're lean you are going to have inhibition of your airway
right here because it just kind of like falls into itself so anyone who's over like okay this is like
a bad rough estimate but like typically anybody who body builds and is bulking up at all is going
to eventually probably benefit from a cpap so it's like very common now despite somebody who doesn't have it
thinks no one might think it's weird and like I can see how it's you know people would think oh
chick thinks that's weird but it's like do you want me to fucking die in my sleep like I'm gonna
use it so like I don't care I go I looked at it through the other lens like so I felt really weird
I still feel weird like it not really I prefer it in the dark of the night so yeah I'll tell you
what is weird I'll tell you what is weird is if you're going to a chick's house and you have the c-pad
machine and she automatically assumes she's like what's this thing and you have to somehow skirt
around i'm not presuming i'm gonna fuck you tonight and so i have a fucking sleep machine
in my car i just happen to have it in my truck That's no business of yours
But
The other side of it is
I dated a girl for a long time
And she would not
It was like months before I knew
She had a retainer
Like finally she felt comfortable enough
To like pull
And I was like
When did this start?
She's like
Ah around 16 years old
We're 27
I was like
Why are you just now breaking?
She's like,
I didn't feel comfortable
breaking her tie.
With a retainer?
Everybody has a retainer.
I never wear mine,
but everybody has one.
My wife wears one
and I don't think less of her one iota, right?
Oh, I do.
And if my wife hypothetically had a B-pad.
I broke up with her right away.
That wouldn't bother me either,
but for somehow I held myself
to a higher standard.
I'm supposed to be perfect. I'm out of here,
snaggletooth.
Yeah, the CPAP thing,
it's only awkward if you're going to their house
and you're just starting to see them.
Even with a Cialis or a Viagra,
you can keep it in your wallet, so it's not
like they can be like, what's this
thing? Because you don't have it out in the open.
Kyle Candy's got a fucking horse pill. No, I just took a bunch of little ones they're like sweet tarts
they do taste great you gotta bring this machine with you in a fucking bag and it has a big hose
attached to it a mask and obviously you either have to hide it in your trunk and then when you're
about to go to sleep after you fuck you oh i gotta go back to my car and get the thing and then no
matter what she's thinking okay this guy thought he was gonna fuck me because the thing
is in his trunk you know what i mean but but if you already fucked her she'll probably think like
wow he's got great foresight you're like no i'm prepared for any scenario there's also a shovel
in there zip ties my tools my tools so derrick bag of cielas for my dick in my car too you know so the c-pat machine huge
improvement to your whole quality of life like me oh dude it's like the more weight i gained the
worse my sleep apnea got to the point where i was falling asleep in university classes in like i
would literally be on a full night's sleep sitting in front of the teacher and just pass out for the
entire lecture wake up when it was done and leave i couldn't stay awake sitting in one spot it was a
dangerous driver yeah dude i uh one time drove over an island in the middle of the car like one
of those big you know section off things that divide oncoming traffic and whatnot i just like
blew up my tire because i fell asleep at the wheel like a long time ago yeah woody snoring was outrageous like i've shared hotel rooms with him a few times and
it's just like oh my god like is there something wrong with you level snore yes that was yeah it's
top tier my dad i grew up and my dad was always snoring so loudly that i could hear him like
through my door all the way down the hall through his door all the way across his bedroom like we're separated by a good distance
and multiple walls and doors and still yeah but woody definitely on par with my dad i don't know
who's who was louder but he's he's on one of those machines too now like like it's it's do you still
snore with the machine because i don't know this is pretty doesn't either no this is pretty yeah um yeah and and like when i first got it took maybe a week
before i was good at sleeping with that thing on and knew how to adjust it and get it right oh dude
when i first got it i'd wake up and the thing would be fucking hucked across the room because
i just couldn't sleep with it i'd in my sleep rip it
off my face and like throw it and then fall back asleep i put it on in the dark and i couldn't
figure out where the front and the back was i'm like putting my head through not the head hole
and you know it's all fucked up uh and and i the fact that i needed it was very
setting for me so it was it was already like a sensitive subject and and i was just like
tempered jackie did jackie no better than to tease you at all i don't think she's wired like that no
she's never teased me about anything like that and uh this but when i first got it i immediately
went on this paramotor trip so i was in a hotel by myself trying to figure it out the first week. But anyway, then once I got sleeping, I woke up like charged.
It's like I'm a teenager or something.
I just wake up in the morning and seize the day.
Like who wakes up and just says, what a glorious time to be alive.
It's a whole new thing.
It's a sign of having sleep apnea woody and derek like
because who knows maybe i fucking have it like you'll get a full night's sleep and you'll wake up
and just the thought of getting out of bed you're like how have i been laying here for eight hours
it feels like it's been 20 minutes right and my quality of sleep is just shit so you'll wake up
fuck maybe i have it i'm overweight yeah it could also be alien abduction
get a sleep test man because seriously anybody with any neck thickness at all i think it's the
number one cause of bodybuilder deaths prematurely now this is this is a common misconception i'm the
first one to jump in and point out when someone's wrong neck thickness is the the tightest line
between a physical uh a physical trait and health.
That is what you call going to the thickest neck.
It's your body saying,
sleep, be gone from me.
I do not need you.
I am already charged and illuminated with my own must, my own vibe.
Alex Jones got a thick neck.
So thick.
I saw a comment on the internet today
where it was like,
or no, no, no.
It was on your fucking video, on your video,
where you were going through Joe Rogan's physique and gut.
And someone in the comments was like,
the way Joe Rogan looks here is how Alex Jones thinks he looks.
And I was like, that is a high IQ comment.
Yeah, Joe Rogan's an interesting thing, right?
Because a lot of people look at Joe Rogan's
like atypical body shape and say like,
oh, look at that atypical body shape.
What a terrible thing.
And it's like, aha.
But you're comparing it to like some ideal body shape.
I want to know the alternate, no HGH,
no testosterone version of Joe Rogan.
He might be pudgy and skinny and
downgrade from where he
is now.
He's self-admittedly on
TRT, HGH, and thyroid.
So it obviously
significantly plays a role in him
maintaining his muscle today.
I think he's the best him he can be.
I think he's the best him he can be. And I think it's a good he can be and i think it's a good look and i think those pictures were like like he even said he's
like i'd gotten heavy right there and then he went on like a that carnivore diet and he lost
like 19 pounds in a month or something like that and and i don't think he looks like that on the
daily no yeah yeah i think he has uh autoimmune issues too with some of the food he was eating.
And I think that's what largely influenced
the gut distension.
Inflammation.
Yeah, so like when you have a garbage cheat meal,
I'm sure you've noticed your stomach,
even though you're not any fatter 10 seconds
or like 20 minutes after eating a meal
than you were 20 minutes before the meal.
But now all of a sudden your stomach is like
out the fucking here, whereas prior it was you know flat so i think a lot of it had to do with
just his food choices too and i've been considering doing like a follow-up video on that because
some of it i feel like i might have highlighted a bit too in favor of the growth hormone rather
than highlighting the diet portion itself but what is it? Did he? I'm not familiar.
Did he say like a special diet he was eating prior to that?
Or I was just having tons of carbs and not being like tight on his regimen and whatnot.
And then after when you go carnivore, you're having no carbs at all.
So you instantly drop all that water that glycogen holds or all the carbs hold in the
muscle.
So you instantly lose like eight pounds of water weight.
So obviously that is like in itself going to be pretty significant in your
body composition.
And then on top of that,
you're,
you're having the most autoimmune friendly version of food you could have
basically like pretty much anyone who does really well on this carnivore
diet seems to be somebody who reacts heavily to something like,
you know,
I don't know, dairy or, you know, I don't know,
dairy or, you know, gluten or whatever. And then they do this thing and all of a sudden they have no bloating issues anymore. And no, you know, their eczema clears up. I think he even said he
had a vitiligo or something and it started to get better once he did the carnivore. So obviously he
had some sort of existing autoimmune issues that were getting exacerbated by his diet prior.
That can't possibly be a good diet to be on, right?
I trust you know about eating nothing but meat.
Do you take one a day vitamins to try and get some nutrients?
There's no way eating chicken every day can be okay.
If you do it the way some of the people do it in this like space that sort of make it a fad,
then it's you're going to end up micronutrient deficient down the line.
Like if you just have a steak, like every meal, just steak.
But if you do like, you know, you have like the bone broth and you have all like the actual gelatinous parts of the animal,
then you can get a lot of the micronutrients that you'd otherwise be missing.
And I'm not going to say, you know, you can do it long term because it's not like there's really
any data to support it but you know it's certainly interesting and a lot of people seem to do well on
it and i think if you're gonna do it the healthier way to do it is it's basically called like nose to
tail carnivore so you eat like everything rather than just like muscle tissue which is what most people do so yeah if you have
like you'll know i think it was i forget what exactly it was it was like
like certain animals when they kill another animal they'll go right for like the liver for example
rather than eating the muscle meat because it's super micronutrient dense and everyone thinks
oh i just gotta have a big
steak and it's like yeah you get a lot of b vitamins and shit but you're missing a lot of
the stuff that you would otherwise get like the vitamin a and stuff from the liver so that's why
there's all this you know there's like a push for some of the carnivore people to get more to like
a healthy version of carnivore and then there's like the mckayla peterson and sean baker and shit who basically
just eat steaks all day all right so you did two videos i watched them both but i didn't quite keep
up you took the discipline of a bodybuilding scientist and applied that to pressing the
tongue to the top of your mouth for a year oh yeah yeah yeah yeah what are we doing here what was the goal that basically the idea and you might
relate because you have sleep apnea is if you okay i don't this isn't any firm science this
is sort of just like me doing it because it was no additional time out of my day to do it
but there was this guy named mike mu and he started a channel called uh orthotropics and he's
uh he's originally an orthodontist who basically had like a you know like uh i don't know like a
renegade perspective on fucking teeth and shit and it was basically how uh how tell me to listen
to the establishment you don't need braces.
Just push with your tongue.
It's all coming from big rubber band.
Apparently he had his license revoked or something because he was like going against like the orthodontic society or something.
I don't know.
Anyway, basically his idea is that like malocclusion of your mouth
like you know your teeth crowding like overlapping and having all those issues you would get fixed
with braces as a kid they're caused by your tongue and being not on the roof of your mouth
and mouth breathing so basically if you have your tongue on the roof of your mouth
then the teeth can't crowd because your tongue is basically
preventing them from crowding
you know what I mean?
I'm the poster boy for this, yeah I had terrible malocclusion
or whatever it was because
my tongue didn't reach up all the way to my mouth
because I'm tongue tied, my dentist told me that a little more recently
your tongue doesn't reach the roof of your mouth?
what they say to do is like
open your mouth as wide as you can right now Kyle
as wide as you can right now kyle as wide as you
can now well point point your mouth towards the camera and then this isn't a fucking trick or
something so point your mouth towards the camera and try and make your tongue touch the roof of
your mouth and i'm like okay it doesn't get cut okay wow i can easily do that it's because that
like fucking tendon thing is way too tight.
And I've been going to the same fucking dentist since I was six.
And it was the last appointment I went to where he goes,
wow, you're really tongue-tied.
And I wanted to be like, first time in my mouth, asshole?
No, not.
You've been in here hundreds of times at this point.
Or dozens at least.
And yeah, so that's exactly right. He was telling me that because my tongue wasn't situated right
and it doesn't ever rest, or it would like intermittently rest on the roof of my mouth
and then back down that it just fucked up all my teeth and the way they grew because i never had
that overlap the way teeth are supposed to when you bite i always just clash right on top of each
other and that was that's why all my teeth like a ventriloquist stomach just like a ventriloquist
right on top of one another i got all these fence posts put in.
So the theory behind it
is that if you let that happen,
you basically not only end up in a position
where your teeth get fucked up, but your
face, the way your face grows
as a kid is also
going to be much uglier than you would
otherwise look.
So there's like, have you ever heard of...
I mean, some people look horrific
absolute monsters people look like absolute ghouls
their jaws it's this steam shovel jaw bigger than the top of their head it's so big
so this guy that's hilarious big. So this guy.
I'm like, this is something I had pretty bad.
And Derek's like, you know, a lot of people who have that look retarded.
Oh, yeah.
Glad I missed me there.
That's good.
That's good.
Sorry.
Step that one.
When you're a kid, you can and you're still in the growth phase of everything you can apparently avoid it even if you're sort of like screwing yourself like if you're seven years old or
something you already have malocclusion like shitty uh development of your um maxilla which
is like these bones or whatever then you can change it by getting
by adopting the proper posture essentially and just doing it for the duration of your youth
and he has like these before and afters of kids he's worked with and their faces go from
like it's ugly to like better looking essentially so basically all these people on especially reddit and like these like uh looks maxing type
threads and shit they start to look to this guy as like um you know it's like the pinnacle of
doing shit to max out yourself and blah blah blah and the reason i got interested in that is because
i've been a mouth breather for the majority of my life. And it's largely what led me to
my sleep apnea, as well as having to use that face mask while I sleep, because I'm always
breathing through my mouth through my mouth, because I have a deviated septum from all the
basketball I played as a kid, as well as when you get heavier, it's just harder to breathe.
So when I was bulking, when I was younger, I used to bulk up to like 40 pounds heavier than I am
now. And that that was when I noticed my sleep apnea, the heavier I got, the worse the sleep apnea got.
And, um, so basically I started doing this thing because apparently it's supposed to,
even if you're an adult, it's probably not going to work like you, if you were a kid,
apparently, but I thought, why the fuck not? I might as well try it. Cause it's no extra time
out of my day to literally put my, go like like put my tongue up rather than have my tongue down mine stays there like i think it's
an ocd thing mine always stays there well there you go then you're probably healthier than the
rest of us so i doubt it i started viewing two months ago when i saw the video and it's done
nothing for me i'm exactly the same my teeth are the same i'm just i'm just as ugly as i was before
yeah some people they think they get significant results as an adult and like i don't know if it's
really you know worth pursuing but it's like i figured it's nothing more out of my day i need
to do it's just like it's the exact same amount of time i'm breathing so i might as well and
there's apparently there's some health
benefits in regards to carbon dioxide amount that comes in through your nose versus your mouth in
terms of oxygen carrying capacity and like lifespan and stuff and just like endurance in sports so i
don't remember the exact science on that but something to do with like the ratio of carbon
dioxide to something or other and there's supposedly health benefits too so i was like fuck it i'm gonna try it so how did it work
told me that chewing gum did something i would be more apt to believe that how did it work yeah
some people think it's like this part the chewing gum but i don't really know did it do anything for
you not really i don't think so anyway but um you know it was just one of those things that i
figured i might as well do it because it was i've had the sleep apnea for years and i thought if i can
improve the situation where perhaps i don't need to use a thing that fucking blows air through my
nose anymore that might be worth pursuing right so definitely you test all kinds of different
steroids and sarums and things like that and then report back what works. How do you get it?
That's a good question, dude.
A question that we don't answer? I mean, you can
say that if you need to.
Wait, isn't that legal?
Unless you are playing a sport or something.
So is
there someone in your local universe that
gets it? Is there
some dark web website? No no it's kind of like
we have some expertise in mail-order drugs here on the show too yeah like typically through but
like the best like indication i give is through bodybuilding forums you sort of develop connections
over the years through these guys that have the connections essentially and you sort of develop connections over the years through these guys that have the connections
essentially. And you sort of just network with other bodybuilders and other people in this
industry. And eventually you get to a point where if you're connected enough, you know, the top labs
in your country, you know, what is reputable, what's not, what is, you know, producing good
results, what's, you know, fucking people up and giving infections and stuff like that. And you
sort of just weed it out from there. some people have more access than others obviously and
it kind of depends on who you know like for some people i know some people who have friends
in countries that have access to over-the-counter stuff they just walk up to the counter and they
order what they need and then their friend ships it to them from like greece or something where
you can just go up to a counter and you know buy some
shit over the counter and you can just buy that shit in mexican pharmacies i was there a few
months ago and you can just you just pop right in buy as much as you need mexican mexican steroids
yeah that's an example too but uh nowadays it's actually a lot easier to get access to
pharmaceutical grade medication because there's all these hormone replacement therapy clinics
popping up that back when i first got into bodybuilding really weren't a thing it's becoming a lot more flexible
with like optimization rather than just treating clinical deficiencies so now even if you're not
like I always talk about you know this guy probably goes to a hormone replacement therapy
clinic in my videos because nowadays you can literally you can literally do that you can go
in with a on paper
like a normal level of testosterone and just be like i have symptom of this this and this
i identify as a much larger man yeah and like you you were saying before right about how uh you can
get 300 milligrams prescribed like super easily yeah yeah you say to them like hey what what would
my levels need to be to get prescribed and they're like well
we look at the big picture levels are of course one one one thing we look at but also how are you
feeling are you like you want to pump some fucking iron well dr maximoff over here likes that i likes that kind of attitude yeah they're not that's uh
that it's becoming a lot more flexible in the past few years especially with these hrt clinics
where you can pretty much get optimized rather than have to show up and be legitimately
super low t and be like clinically deficient to get a prescription and a lot of these guys
that are focused on well some of them are just money driven so it'll be like clinically deficient to get a prescription. And a lot of these guys that are focused on,
well, some of them are just money driven.
So it'd be like, here's your cookie cutter prescription of testosterone, this drug and this and this.
And here's your overpriced Cialis and here's this.
You know what I mean?
And they'll try and sell you as much as they can
because the markup on pharmaceutical grade medication
is just ridiculous.
But some doctors, you know, they'll,
they're still focused on optimization too.
So it's not like back in the day where you'd have a guy closely monitor and make sure you're
in that reference range of natural production.
Still, they'll be like, okay, how do you feel?
No, I'm not good enough yet.
Okay, here's another 50 milligrams on top of what a doctor would have normally prescribed
you however many years ago when this was less uh
i don't know widely or mainstream accepted sort of thing now it's like it i don't know it's kind
of just like uh it's not like the wild west but you have a lot more leeway in terms of what you
prescribe you don't need to be in this arbitrary reference range anymore it's kind of they're
treating it more like would you like another scoop sir yeah like you can pretty much get the cheese at
Olive Garden you just tell me when to stop
I've got a couple
or at least one funny funny video
to pop onto but I wanted to ask
when you're not
getting geared up and lifting weights
and making videos what are some other things you enjoy doing
just other hobbies
to be honest I work a fucking shit ton but when i am not working i usually just go out with
my girl and you know do um uh go for i don't know go find places to eat basic shit like i'm nothing
crazy exciting do whatever you work outside of youtube are you talking about youtube no yeah i
have a company that sells nootropics as well as like pre-workout formulas and stuff.
So I basically, I run that.
I try to post daily on YouTube, which I'm sure you guys know is a fucking challenge
in itself.
What else I do?
A lot of consultations too for like hormone optimization and stuff like that.
What's the name of your nootropic company, by the way?
Gorilla Mind. Gorilla Mind. Okay. Yeah. So like gorillamind.com is the main site right now. And
then we also have gorillamode.com, which is where we feature the pre-workout formulas and stuff.
And it's basically my, I put my name behind it in terms of the formulations because it's not like
we outsource it to some private label
Manufacturer that makes the formulas for a margin
It's like I literally sit down on a Word document and write out the formulas myself based on what I would use and then
like
You know sort of act as the chemist quote-unquote and then I like formulate it package it up and then private label and sell it
through the platform
Yeah, I wanted to ask you about this.
So, um, you're, you sound like you're familiar with the UFC. So when, when, when these fighters
talk about using, uh, supplements like creatine specifically that, that is mixed in China and
they talk about how it could have been from a machine that previously had steroids or something
else in there and that could get contaminated and they could, they could test hot because they were
just taking cheap creatine. Is factual at all is that is that potentially
real yeah it is because uh i have actually a long time ago in some of our like original batch tests
of like certain samples we'd see that some of these labs they would have even the lab sometimes
they have trace amounts of residual shit they've tested
in their machine that then pops which is like obviously i don't know how where the ufc specifically
is getting their analysis done but i've seen labs that i've paid myself to have third-party testing
done be inconsistent in their results with the exact same supplement yeah so like i've paid to
get this stuff done before too
and it's like it's definitely possible to have like minuscule amounts spike on something but i
think a lot of the times it's a cover-up for like trying to get away with something because these
athletes are so aware of the risks of these supplements that it's like would you be so dumb
as to use some random
company's creatine when your fucking career depends on you not getting popped like all i'm
hearing is undefeated undisputed so like for me i would if i was a fighter that would be like
to me that seems like a cop-out for you just didn't like circumvent the testing very well
in most cases tj dillis shaw well in most cases t.j dillis
shawls and i heard t.j dillis all talk about popping hot he popped up for epo something
about epo i think is particularly difficult to deny like there's no no people don't accidentally
pop hop for epo so he just owned it but to hear him talk about how well he was tested and all the
different levels of i don't know what they all were,
but like different levels of,
of chemicals in his bloods to make sure that his training was going well.
They used it as a way to monitor over training.
And it's like,
there is no,
the level of testing he did seemed like that of someone who was taking lots of
steroids and gear.
I'll tell you who's not testing right now, and that's Usada.
Usada is not testing these guys right now because of the corona thing.
Yeah, it's time to juice up.
Time to juice up, boys.
Let's go, John.
Let's go.
Oh, he's way ahead of you, Kyle.
Oh, I hope so.
I hope he's – I don't care.
I want John on juice.
That's best John.
Maybe he'll get a takedown again.
A little bit of UFC talk. I don't know if you saw.
April 18th is now cancelled.
249 is just
completely scrapped now. Not happening.
I thought they swapped the main card for
Private Island.
This is very up.
This is like as of an hour or two.
I choose to believe Tony Ferguson's afraid of Gaethje.
Tony Ferguson
isn't afraid of a fucking bulldozer.
He'd be dropping elbows on a forklift.
That man doesn't care.
They were going to do it apparently at
a tribal casino type
place in Cali.
The higher ups at Disney as well as
ESPN got in touch with Dana and said
no. No you're not.
Don't do it.
Rose Namajunas had already dropped out of the card as of yesterday or the day before,
so it was a diminishing card, although it was still good. It was still a really good card.
But yeah, that card is not going to happen. Everything is getting pushed.
And of course, Dana White has rented Fight Island, which is literally the premise
of that Bruce Lee movie and Mortal Kombat and all of my favorite
make-bel believe fight shit.
He's renting a goddamn private Island and they're building a facility to
host the fights in the future.
This might be my version of the perfect outcome.
Is Ferguson back to Khabib on fight Island or is he still with Gaethje?
Well,
Khabib is pretending like he can't leave Russia.
So probably Gaethje. I think Gaethje stands a, Khabib is pretending like he can't leave Russia. So, probably Gaethje.
I think Gaethje stands a real chance of beating Ferguson.
And that would end the Ferguson-Khabib matchup.
And I don't want that.
I don't want that either.
And I agree.
I mean, anything's possible.
He's definitely got a puncher's chance.
And that's kind of how he rolls.
He put it best himself.
Either I KO this guy in the first or the second or i lose in the fourth or the fifth you know i i think that's
that's that's pretty accurate you know nobody beats uh tony's cardio and gaethje has not been
training for five round for a five round fight since like last november or something like tony
has so yeah yeah what was khabib's excuse he's quarantined or what is the problem
there he doesn't honestly have a good excuse but his excuse that i keep hearing is it's harder to
leave russia than they say so every report i say i see says oh yeah you can just get a private flight
and but he's like that's harder than they say it is and And it's like, which part? Packing or? I'm a Khabib fan.
And even looking at it through that lens, his excuse has been evolving.
There's been a couple different ones.
And it's been an inconsistent message.
And it's hard to walk away from that thinking that he really, really wishes he was fighting.
Yeah.
He's not hungry to fight Tony Ferguson in the sort of scrappy.
He might be sane.
Well, first i'm gonna
go into the czech republic and then from there i can get a travel visa to this neighboring country
and from there i can book passage on it like no passage he's not he's not like digging and
scraping and clawing to get there the same way i bet if they told tony ferguson like look
you can fight in dagestan he'd be like, well, how are we going to get me there?
Maybe there's a cannon you could shoot me out of.
What about Tesla?
Can that guy take me up into space and I could just – no?
Here's the thing.
Everyone's saying Khabib's afraid of Tony, and I don't think that's true.
I do think that he feels like this whole foul-up situation has caused him not to be the best version of him,
and that's who he wants to face Tony as.
Khabib's not afraid of anyone.
Khabib has tried to take on Daniel Cormier while he was currently the heavyweight champion
of the world.
Khabib has jumped into a crowd to take on a team of professional fighters after beating
the fuck out of Conor McGregor.
He says, I got five more rounds in me.
I'll go after these six guys.
He's tied on that bus.
Khabib had...
It wasn't his bus.
Yeah, what a bitch. Khabib has gone after anyone six guys. He's tied on that bus. Khabib had, it wasn't his bus. Yeah, what a bitch.
Khabib has gone after anyone,
anytime.
And he was not afraid of Conor,
as proven by the fact
that he choked Conor the fuck out
like a little bitch he is.
So, Khabib is not scared
of Tony Ferguson,
but he did seem to dodge him,
and it's hard to paint that
any other way.
But that's way,
I've got a question for Derek.
They say there is no magic pill that
causes you to lose weight i want your opinion on that because i would like to buy such a pill
oh meth meth or cocaine actual fat loss um yeah there's things that are pretty intense like have
you ever heard of dnp before tell me more about this dnp i'm making notes i don't recommend how do you spell dnp
it's like okay so it's like two four dinitrophenol and this stuff was using explosives in world war
and you're not dissuading me basically they found that when the people were making the bombs or
whatever they started their body temperatures were increasing substantially
and some of them overheated and died and then they took this and marketed it as a fat loss aid
because what it does is it cranks your metabolic rate through the roof and it basically self-induces
like a fever so are you sold i'm sold i'm sold no like don't do it. Trust me. Okay. Where would I not buy it?
It's hard to get.
It's harder to get than steroids now.
Challenge accepted.
But basically, it's like what guys do is it increases their energy expenditure so much,
but they feel so shitty because they're so run down from how much their body's burning.
They'll take it, sit at home in front of a fan,
and just lose fat.
It sounds like they're melting.
You could be a DNP salesman because this is outstanding.
What would it work?
Don't get excited about it.
Basically, you take this pill, sit, and lose weight.
Could I play Escape from Tarkov while losing weight?
I'm trying to feel fucking horrible.
I can play video games 12 hours a day.
I've been trying chemotherapy.
Now stay with me here.
On the off chance you do have
any undiagnosed cancers,
problem solved there.
And if you don't, you will soon.
Because it's chemo.
You meet lots of ladies for short-term relationships.
It's a good deal.
So DNP sounds like...
I bring lubricants to my own toys.
Just anyone.
Yeah, Fight Club.
I watched that recently.
Really good.
I probably hadn't watched Fight Club in almost 10 years.
My girlfriend had never seen it.
We watched it.
She thought it was great.
You know the only thing in that movie that whenever i whenever i hear it i've just like roll my eyes it's when they're on the bus and brad pitt brad pitt's like uh he's talking about
commercialization of the world or something like that and he's just like they tried to sell you
six-pack abs and this and that and i'm just like you're brad pitt you're the guy they sell the
six-pack abs with. You're that guy.
You have an eight-pack.
You are so lean in this movie.
He's super lean in that movie.
Oh, and then Derek's take on it is,
Derek's take on movie star bodies is,
I don't know why people even call out
this Fight Club physique is good.
Oh, yeah.
What?
Dude, Brad Pitt looks great.
He looks like he looks live.
No, dude. I think his physique was great.
I think that... Dude, what video are you watching?
That's not even what I fucking said.
Well, I always misquote you, but what he actually said
was something closer. That's what I do. I'm sorry.
But it was like, I don't know why they call out
Fight Club. I was like, what? I didn't say that.
I don't know why they call out Fight Club as the best Brad Pitt.
Brad Pitt actually looks much better
in this other movie, is what you said.
Gotcha. What was the other one? Do you know actually looks much better in this other movie is what you said. Gotcha.
What was the other one? Do you know? He looked better in Troy, I think. Troy!
Oh, when he jumps and he zoots that
guy right in the fucking side.
Poetrius!
Yeah, Troy Brad Pitt.
That bummed me out when I first
saw that movie because I was like,
damn, that guy's huge.
That'd be cool if somehow they run together and
they're like i'm gonna join your team we're gonna be badass duos even though i'd read the odyssey
and the iliad and i knew it wasn't gonna happen and then he kills him that was just that might be
his best physique of any film if you go back to like thelma and louise he's super lean there too
but he's also probably like 20 there um i think most of his role started like
mid-20s where he actually started even i think fight club was like the first really notable one
and prior to that he was like he didn't really start his acting career till like mid-20s anyways
as far as movies go but even that he was like he was skinny but he was he's been shredded with a
visible six-pack for like the entirety of his career.
When was Seven? When did
Seven come out? Because he was not
bulky in that at all. 95.
I don't think he takes his shirt off in Seven.
It's more like noir.
It's so dark.
That movie rocks.
You know what I recently learned about
Tom Cruise?
His body's fucking CGI these days.
No.
Yeah.
I didn't know that.
His whole body?
They do a CGI overlay when Tom Cruise is shirtless now.
That can't be true.
It has to be true. He's over 50.
And I look at these things through this distorted lens.
When Derek does a video and says
hey let's look at how Chris Pratt got
as good looking as he is. All I
want to hear is he's on massive
doses of tea and Woody it's okay
you look like that. If you could
make those videos
it would help my self esteem. Chris Pratt
in Guardians of the Galaxy, Derek's takeaway was
he just worked hard because
he had been fit earlier in his life and he just cut the
weight and got back to who he can normally be.
I think it was
Captain America. Chris Evans.
Yeah, Chris Evans. And he looked at
him in Captain America
and admittedly he could be CGI'd.
He could be enhanced like we're talking about Tom Cruise.
But he was like, I don't know, this just looks like him
from earlier roles, but fat.
I think this Tom Cruise thing is a very unique thing to Tom Cruise.
I think it's very expensive to do.
But I want to say it was the money.
He's got that Scientology money.
He's got that Scientology.
He's not paying for it.
The studio's paying for it.
But they were really banking on the Dark Universe to be Warner Brothers,
I believe it's Warner Brothers, to be their Marvel,
to be this new thing with the Invisible Man
and Frankenstein. Because nobody owns those characters
anymore. They're too fucking old. So you can just use them. You don't have to pay somebody to make a
Captain America movie. You can just say, yeah, I'm going to make a Dracula movie. Because who owns Dracula? No fucking
body. So they made the mummy.
They've got Tom cruise and a couple other
stars in there oh yeah um what's his name the australian who likes to beat people up from
gladiator crow something yeah fighting around the world with russell crow he's gonna beat the chair
someone here he's gonna pick a fight here so uh yeah i i don't think that's him i don't think he's legit
anymore necessarily but he's still fucking badass like he's kooky as fuck but i really want to see
the new uh top gun movie with him in it the visuals with him in the cockpit like we were
watching that trailer with him in the cockpit for top gun 2 and i was my dad and i was like
if it weren't tom cruise i'd never say this but is it possible he's flying
that fucking fighter jet right now is that possible right could he could they have given
him a fight i know he's not but but it looks so real and and he is one to jump in and just do
things yeah he really does learn shit like that he learned to skydive he's an expert skydiver did
you guys know that he has something something like 7,000 jumps.
Yeah, if you want to go solo,
you've got to get to a pretty high level anyway.
And then he kept going above that.
Yeah, he's... Did you see where he snapped his ankle
in that jumping scene?
Yes.
No, I did not.
In like a Mission Impossible?
Yeah, he was jumping from building to building
and he snapped the shit out of his ankle
and that just kept going.
Yeah, he was able to keep going for a few more steps and they were able to use that scene
yeah that's an incredibly painful injury derrick yeah in all your tests have you ever had issues
with aggression it's kind of hard to self-diagnose like when you're crazy you're the only one who
doesn't know yeah yeah so typically with gear first of all depends on the compound but largely it boils down
to if you're an easily agitated person as is it's going to make that substantially more so
if you're like a chill guy it's not going to take you from chill to like snapping on people
but there are certain compounds that do make your your tolerance to shit that you think is like annoying much lower
so like on trend on trend for example i would have uh if my friend would say something that
i thought was uh like dumb i'd just be like that's fucking stupid and then i'd be like whoa
relax like to myself i'd have to like catch myself sometimes yeah well that was way over
the line man yeah i'd be like you could be in a scenario where maybe a waitress just wants to get the door cleared up.
He's making fun of me.
And the next thing you know, she's face deep in a bowl of soup, gargling.
I told you, an even number of ice cubes.
I did tell her.
She spilled my coffee.
She spilled my coffee. She spilled my coffee.
Dude, that's one of the funniest.
Isn't it a Canadian PSA?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I have people on my streams asking all the time,
watch Canadian PSAs.
I'm doing that soon.
They're hysterical.
Yeah, she comes along and accidentally spills her coffee on his hand.
He just goes, she spilled my coffee.
And he just fucking throws the whole pitcher in her face.
Okay, here it is.
It's 30 seconds.
Yeah, let's watch it.
I love this shit.
It's hilarious.
Dude, Canada?
Well done on the PSAs.
Oh, they're the best.
Just like those cigarette packages.
Oh, yeah.
All right.
So the way we do this, Derek, is you pull it up,
and then Woody will count down three, two, one,
and we all watch and sync.
Yeah, okay. We all kind of queue up at zero.
I'm queued up at zero, and it's on the word play.
God, my God.
All right, ready, set, play.
You're doing a real good job on your picture.
Please.
Please.
She spilled my coffee.
I'm sorry, sir.
You fucking bitch.
Jesus Christ.
How do you like that?
You shouldn't get away with it at home.
The funniest part is that she spilled my coffee. What's funny about that? Everything. get away with it at home. I love that.
She spilled my coffee. What's funny about that?
Everything.
I just seem like breakfast to me.
What the fuck?
I love that after
scowling her,
I love that after scowling her,
he has to throw in the fucking bat hand
to really punctuate
the situation. And the kids don't even
move they're like uh-oh bitch i've seen this play out before we didn't finish the weight loss pill
thing you mentioned the pretty extreme one is there something that people use i mean other than
something that like only causes anal leakage for right right we can put up with that let's say that discipline wasn't an option right so then what would you use instead typically so like
typically the progression of let's just say a bodybuilder peaking for a show because that's
like the perfect example of going from nothing to the most extreme of fat loss agents so basically
you'd start with you're just at ground zero eating whatever
you eat to maintain your body weight currently. And you're doing no cardio. Let's just hypothetically
say you're going to the gym still though you're working out. So now if you want to lose weight,
you have to increase the amount of energy you're expending. So you can either
decrease how much you're eating, do cardio or use pharmacology.
We need another expert.
And that's three so typically a magic solution that's easy and comfortable so typically once people get to the
point where they're implementing things for fat loss the first one that i think is most effective
to be honest is appetite suppressants so even though they don't directly like rip fat off you
they actually let you adhere
to the diet that would otherwise you would be cheating on because it's hard as fuck to eat
in such a steep deficit to get shredded like the willpower to get shredded is way way more important
than whatever like five percent extra fat burn you get from whatever the fuck you know what i mean so
yeah appetite suppressants is
typically the number one abuse thing so that's like adderall phentermine things like heavy doses
of caffeine ephedrine stuff like that yeah i was gonna say adderall that was that was the number
one because not only is an appetite suppressant but it's also raising your heart rate and it's
a stimulant you're gonna like like if you're normal you're like ah i'm not i don't need nine
hours of sleep today eight eight was too much yeah and if you and it gives you energy
even when you would otherwise feel like low energy as hell because you're deprived of calories right
so that is like one of the most heavily abused things you know what also always gave me have
you taken adderall uh no i haven't i've taken everything but that like dexedrine ritalin all that stuff but not
there's no other way to describe it than pure motivation like like sort of a sitting and
thinking about a future that that you're like hey i can remember taking it in like middle school
being like i should go out for the i should play i should play on the football team yeah
my life could be better i could do this and that and this and that i'm laying in bed and then i wake and i'm like oh i took too much it's just like way too motivated
here let's like let's bring it back i got an idea i got an idea 10 business ideas tell me which one
why would your motivation be so focused though right like i i haven't taken it really but i
imagine myself saying like huh what if my itunes playlist had four different orders or like no
something dumb you would think you would be like itunes has been a waste of my time and energy
that time could have been so much more focused that could have been about something more much
more positive i could have worked harder for this and that and this and that where would i be if i
done this let's do this now let's start starting now we've started like started. It's pure motivation. It made me want to clean.
I've heard that before.
I took my television apart so fast.
My friend said
Vyvanse was the one.
Do we know anything about Vyvanse?
Anyone? I think Vyvanse, Ritalin,
Adderall, they all seem to
be the same. They're all to treat the same
thing, but they're doing it in different ways, I believe.
They're significantly different. I think Adderall like a cut above the other ones in terms of
efficacy yeah adderall has always been like like the thing i was prescribed in middle school and
because they prescribed it to me then i can get a prescription whenever i want and uh and like i
take the fast the quick release uh not that extended release is ir yeah yeah no you want fucking let's go mode like like
like amphetamine salts that little blue pill 10 milligrams to somebody who doesn't take this shit
is just gonna get you fucking rolling we had a friend uh modafinil before no no okay so that's
like the shit that fighter jet pilots use and it keeps them uh it's actually if you have sleep apnea woody you can actually get
prescribed this uh modafinil so the only three conditions that can be prescribed modafinil are
people with narcolepsy sleep shift disorder and um or what is it shift work whatever the fuck like
if you're a night shift worker and then if you have sleep apnea so i am a bit of a pilot myself
i can't spell it close enough for Google to figure it out.
That's how you know you're off.
Oh, okay.
Well, we had a bunch of letters in common.
Come on, Google.
I got the M.
I got the M.
It also goes by Provigil is like the brand name,
but it's like uh commonly referred
to as the like the limitless pill in real life you know like the bradley cooper nzt 48 thing so
it's really like as far as things that get you for productivity wise it's kind of like adderall and
modafinil are kind of like the two top of the top and they both significantly suppress your appetite and keep you awake and,
you know,
productive and whatnot.
But fighter jet pilots use the modafinil as well as,
you know,
like entrepreneurs and stuff like that.
And,
um,
it's pretty easy to get a prescription if you have sleep apnea.
So just,
uh,
you guys ever done cocaine?
No,
no,
me either.
I know at least two of us have for a fact
oh Kyle you fibber
anyway
no I would be interested to try that stuff
but Adderall has always been
I've told the story a bunch of times
but I stayed up all night
one time in a foreign city
foreign to my city
not another country or anything
literally all night
in this hotel with this young lady
and I had to work
all day
a foreign city could be
50 or 70 miles away
it was foreign to my city
it was Nashville the exotic Lexington, Kentucky could be 60 or 70 miles away. A foreign city. It was foreign to my city.
It was Nashville.
The exotic Lexington, Kentucky.
Not even as far as Nashville.
Literally
all night long. Like zero
fucking sleep. And I needed to go to sleep
because I'd been up all day the day before like running
around and going to strip clubs and driving
for 15 hours or something.
And I just took that Adderall and I had fuel to burn for the next 12 hours
throughout that day. I didn't get tired. Like,
like I noticed like on the far end, like,
like after being up for what must've been 36,
40 hours or something like that and go mode,
like I was having a hard time with my speech because i had to like do this big ad read
that wasn't written down i was ad-libbing this ad read for explosives and i'm sitting there
and like i would fuck up a word i'd just be like fuck fuck all right roll it back roll it back and
go and i was just just just getting there just angrier and angrier and angrier as the cameraman is just, he's not going to get it.
But,
but so definitely you lose some mental acuity like on the far end of that
stuff,
but you never run out of physical energy.
Hmm.
Lines can be tougher than people.
I suck at reading lines.
I know you said it wasn't written down,
but to go forward and do something perfectly like that,
everyone thinks they'd be good at it.
People think they're good actors,
but put a camera on them and they find themselves just not good actors yeah not everybody can do that
if you guys want to try this this is actually a nootropic formula i designed that's as close as
you're gonna get as like an over-the-counter thing to replicate what you would otherwise get from
like uh you know smart drug sort of thing. I get piss tested every now and then.
I probably shouldn't be taking anything.
Yeah.
Okay.
This is like an over-the-counter supplement
that's just like I designed it
based on nootropic ingredients
I found worked when I was in university and whatnot.
So probably wouldn't be an issue.
$44, you dog.
Yeah, I'm going to get some of this.
I'll try it.
Let me, I'm pleased, i'm please finish yeah well if you
guys want to uh dm me your address after whatever i'll just get you out a bottle because i think
you'll like it we have a lot of uh people who game too that use this stuff to get like locked
in while they're playing it's kind of like the legal version of what you could otherwise get
from like smart drugs and there's. There's actual ingredients here that are
actually proven to improve
cognitive health rather than just
deplete the fuck out of your dopamine
system.
I'll give this a go for sure.
Let me do an ad read. Tell everybody about
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Get yourself a hard-ass dick.
I take them every so often.
You know, I want to make it a special occasion.
That's how I'm able to stockpile so many chews.
I get two packages a month.
You get two of these a month?
Yeah.
Kyle is a prepper over there
and I am tabloid.
You pop one or two of these bad boys
and make sure you get the Cialis version
and for the next 36 hours.
Are we not supposed to say the C word?
I think maybe...
No, it's written right here.
Yeah, they say it's a biagric generic
and they give you whatever the medical name is.
So, Tadalafil, correct, Kyle?
Tadalafil, yeah.
Yeah, Tadalafil.
That's the one you want to hit up.
Get yourself a very hard dick.
All the girls are going to be like,
wow, that's the hardest dick I've ever seen.
You're going to be like, yeah, and it's all natural.
Don't tell them. Let them believe that's how you do it. Especially seen you're gonna be like yeah and it's all natural don't tell them you know let them believe especially in a walmart checkout good god
you're telling me that oh shit i almost made a callback reference to a video i watched today
on my stream where it was this guy in the uk who has this neurological disorder where he orgasms a
hundred times a day oh no it no. It sounds awesome, right?
I think I've seen that.
For one day.
No.
Yeah, for one day.
But it's like following him throughout his life,
and he's like walking on a golf course,
or he's played frisbee golf with his friends,
and like out of nowhere,
he'll just double over and be like,
and the camera crew's like there filming him,
and he'll be like,
That one burned. I just had about nine orgasms right there. and they'll like and the camera crew's like they're filming them and he'll be like oh yeah
that one burned i just had about nine orgasms right there oh my god and like so it's not uh
i thought it was initially like a hundred space throughout the day where i'm like how can you get
anything done it's like smoking five packs of cigs a day that'd be insane but really it's like
chain orgasm for he's just totally debilitated for like minutes at a time out of nowhere
he was at his therapist and i was like so how are you doing this week and he's just totally debilitated for like minutes at a time out of nowhere he was
as a therapist and i was like so how are you doing this week and he's like i'm doing pretty
no no it's like and he's he's like standing up during some of this so he's not even torqued
he's not hard he's coming soft like walking around like yeah but i don't think anything
is i don't think there's any cum coming out.
It's just some sort of internal neurological problem that's causing this.
And he doesn't do anything.
I don't know.
It made me sad.
I can't imagine anything coming out even after the fifth time in a day.
You'd just be in fucking pain at that point.
If there's anyone on Earth who fucked up with a monkey's paw, it's that guy.
I want to cum hundred times a day.
I met women.
I met women.
And my idea was like, and you can't, like the doubling over, it's not like entirely obvious that they're groans of pleasure.
Sometimes it's a little iffy, but, you know, he's embarrassed to go out.
If when that started happening,
he had instead said,
I have intense bouts of pain because of a neurological problem upwards of a
hundred times a day.
No one would be creeped out.
He wouldn't be embarrassed to go about his life.
All he would have to do is play off orgasms as being agonizing pain yeah then it's a
it's it's a disorder oh did you hear about do you hear about ted oh my god dude that's horrible the
pain he goes through every day i can't imagine you know you know prayers up to that guy oh do
you hear about ted dude's fucking coming every 15 minutes he had to wear special underwear that was
my yeah i don't want to wet myself that often.
I know.
He doesn't wet himself.
It's like a neural.
He's not my understanding.
I never watched him change his pants.
It's funny when he's ejaculating.
It is, but I don't think your body can make that much cum.
Get out of the pool, freak!
Did you ever in middle school being like,
man, how many times can I do this in a day?
And after a little while, it's computer duster just freezing cold
Freon
anyway that was a fun
check out blue tube
check out blue tube
it's amazing
and again always recommend
the Tadalafil I've tried both and
maybe some people
you prefer the viagra but
i do not yeah yeah so what is a trend body i've seen a couple of your videos and you talk about
what people are on and you're like this guy has a stereotypical trend body and i'm like
desirable like what is what is trend what for rentable how close did i go no it's a trend balloon okay basically this is
like it's considered one of the most androgenic of the steroids so androgenic meaning like
masculine masculinizing essentially so the more androgenic typically the more like dry, grainy, and sort of like more tightly to in some, in some situations, like trend
has a high affinity to bind to androgen receptors.
So like, there's this theory that because there's a denser amount of androgen receptors
in the traps, as well as the delts, that people who have like overly developed traps and delts
relative to the rest of their body are probably abusing trend in some capacity.
And typically it's really obvious in individuals that don't have good
bodybuilding genetics because that one body part will overdevelop.
And then the rest of it will lag like significantly behind.
What are good bodybuilding genetics? Like what's,
what are some things like every like
anybody on the mr olympia stage you'll see they have every body part is massive first of all
obviously but there's no like obviously everyone has their genetic lagging thing some people have
like shitty calves some people have shitty whatever but it's like just the way the muscle
is it's like round as opposed to like like it's like
getting big is one thing but then having an aesthetic muscle is another like i'm it's hard
to it's a objective muscle insertions is that what that's called yeah yeah like it's sort of
an individual question too right because what looks good to you to another guy you might be
like that looks like shit like a lot of people on my channel they're in the fitness industry niche so that's
why they're so like hyper critical of physiques and that's also sort of why i'm like i try to
like bridge the gap between still being in the fitness industry because that's where a lot of
my followers are from as well as having the objective you know perspective of somebody who's
just i'm a guy who goes to the gym sometimes so the trend look is
more so obvious in somebody who has not good muscle building genetics and has
unproportionately developed traps and delts compared to the rest of them and has like a very
grainy like androgenic type look it's kind of hard to explain but typically the flagship marker is like
yeah like if you look at hugh jackman you'll note his physique is like crazy vascular really like
protruding almost 3d delts the traps are much more developed relative to his first couple roles
and he's obviously gained muscle everywhere but you look at his back or his arms or any other body
part on him and it's just like
complete lack of development relative to his just his trap movie was that in just so i could i could
see wolverine yeah like all the wolverines from like one to the last one oh as far as the one
does not help me oh you mean like the one where he yeah yeah the one where you're saying like oh
his delts and his traps were huge and his arms look weird like i'd let me pull i'd like to see an example of that huge also another thing
are there any single straight women at bodybuilding competitions or just gay men and supportive
wives no it's a very it's kind of an interesting culture because it's like um just a whole bunch
of fucking gearheads pretty much in a room and they're all kind of like you
know women are getting with guys who are bodybuilders and bodybuilders are getting with
chicks who take gear and step on stage as you know physique competitors and whatnot and they're
mostly straight i would say to be honest but um picture does that fit what you're looking for let's see yeah exactly exactly though i look at this guy i see a massive chest well done
deltoids even good biceps but forms that look like they belong to someone else almost his arms to me
his biceps and triceps are like look at that look at his left arm like you should get some like
girth from a large tricep over there i see what you're saying yeah it's like a stick relative to the rest of his upper torso like his chest is enormous yeah shoulders enormous bicep tricep forms are
jumping out at me like if you lifted that much weight why didn't your forms get some benefit
yeah that's part of it is genetic but part of it is just like the way his body responds to
hormones and the hormones in question in my in my my opinion. And that's sort of like,
some of it is just sort of speculation at the end of the day,
but it's based on,
I've been through this,
you know,
bodybuilding niche.
I've been to competitions.
I used to compete myself and I've seen guys with shitty genetics who just like
abuse the shit out of trend.
And they have this very obvious look where it's just like q jackman when he peaked for that role just like cranked delts trapped and then his arm is like
a stick almost compared to the rest of them so yeah that damn yeah you have very well-trained
eye for this obviously i wouldn't have picked up on that yeah obviously i wouldn't when they
look really dry when it looks like they're there's not moist at all and like like when i look at his belts and he looks thirsty he looks
thirsty yeah he looks like he's on a weight cut like like the thing that i'm most familiar with
is is watching fighters pre pre-weight cut mid-weight cut at the weigh-ins and then when
they when they hydrate back up you know uh for fight night and he looks like he's midway cut and
maybe like uh he was he water depleted for that shot i think yeah i was gonna i was gonna say um
what's his name uh who played superman henry cavill henry henry cavill yeah he uh he water
depleted for that uh bathtub scene in witcher yeah yeah and he was uh i don't know if it really did him any favors
though because he just wasn't lean enough for that to really be any you know any helpful level of
adding cut like cuts to his physique because he's just like a bulky dude and he just bulks up for
most of his roles i feel like like to him to him. That's one of the individuals I thought was natural
just based on his progression is very...
When he gains weight, it's like a parallel increase of fat and muscle.
It's not like he just unproportionately gains lean size
like Chris Hemsworth for Thor, where he just exploded
and he still has visible abs by the end of it,
even though he gained 30 pounds.
Maybe you haven't seen the
latest avengers that's a joke which he was oh yeah i know where he looks like shit but i mean
yeah but uh like henry cavill yeah he like gains weight but it's like a proportional increase in
fat and muscle to get that bigger look and it's obvious in the shirtless scenes where he takes off his shirt and he has
he's big objectively
but he's like a
bear almost. He has that natural
he's like 20% body
fat almost. His face is just shredded though
because he's just genetically gifted in his
fat distribution. That's
how I see it. When he did the water
deplete, he had no separation
in his abs at all.
You know what? Action action star I can tell
is not doing anything
he shouldn't be doing? He's not on
anything. Steven Seagal.
Steven Seagal
makes like six movies a year, and
he's completely given up on
any...
His hair's fake. I think the goatee is fake at this point
he's 300 pounds like he doesn't run anymore he doesn't even do the run i mean he's a karate
grandmaster right uh it's not karate it's um aikido it's aikido those videos where he just
fucking like slaps people off him and tosses them to the floor i have seen all of those videos unfortunately yes it's impressive that was a bit of a scholar i'm probably wrong
but i watched your video on i'm terrible with actors who played apollo creed
yes oh michael b jordan yeah to me he had capped deltoids and like a trend and you didn't agree he was a really on the fence guy that i probably
could have leaned either way it was more so based on the time frame of preparation
him me presuming he hadn't lifted prior and you know when you look at some of these guys
and their response it's more so based on have they ever trained before with weights too because
there's uh something called newbie gains where you can get like steroid like results for your first year
even when you're natural just because you haven't even been in a gym yet so i try to take that all
into consideration and with him it was really on the fence and honestly it could have gone either
way that one was hard to tell but he could have easily done something the rest of them where i
said they were natural i'm like 99 sure on sure on, but for him, I was like,
I don't know.
You know what I think would be,
and maybe you've already done it, I don't know,
a good film.
Up until now, I've seen you do a lot of individuals,
like this guy, that guy, this guy, that guy.
The movie Predator.
Just, just, the movie Predator,
like from top to bottom,
there's only like two, three skinny guys
in that whole fucking movie. One of them is Shane Black, and the other one's, I don't bottom, there's only two, three skinny guys in that whole fucking movie.
One of them is Shane Black, and
the other one, I don't know that actor's name.
That Asian woman. Rodriguez.
Well, she's not Asian, but
the lady, for sure.
She's not. Absolutely not. They're in South America,
home of zero Asians.
Hmm.
Which movie are we talking about?
Predator.
The original Predator. 1987? Yes, absolutely. um who are we thinking probably which movie are we talking about the original predator 1987 yes absolutely you got jesse the body ventura arnold schwarzenegger you've got the original
apollo creed the famous meme like handshake where they are not really handshake it's sort of like a
no elbows down arm wrestle where arnold's just like what's the matter dylan been pushing too many pencils it's uh oh is that that uh the famous scene it's like dylan you son of a bitch yeah
yeah yeah the handshake that like blows up the fucking universe and they just have just
ripped forearms and biceps and they do this mid-air uh like like handshake arm wrestle thing where like and like like apollo
creed's arm starts like like like going down and shaking what's the matter dylan you've been
pushing too many pencils what movie is this predator i've oh i've seen predator yeah yeah
it's the greatest action movie ever made in my opinion jesse the body ventura was so jacked
and so big that they immediately
was i looking good in that movie he was looking incredible started talking like he had been down
in the baha went fully retarded he had been in the baha pumping iron with the cartel he his arms are
so big that they're actually bigger than arnold's and so immediately they write it into the movie
that he gets some shrapnel wounds on his arm.
And so they're bandaged for the rest of the film
until his death scene.
Because they don't want his arms anywhere
in the same scene as Arnold's arms.
Good for Jesse Ventura.
Well, no, it's not even a shame.
That's a funny guy.
He's hilarious.
Yeah, I like Jesse Ventura.
He's fun.
I was a Navy SEAL as far as you know he was a navy seal i know
i'm fucking around yeah it's because people like to give him shit online for not being a navy seal
speaking of giving shit online i fact check cow's right she's from guatemala i showed her picture
though she looks so asian to me uh filipino uh asians with the mexican last name it's guatemalo like uh guatemalo
i found it up yeah but uh yeah no i'm from a different country guatemalo
the lost city of guatemalo the lost city of guatem de Guadalamo. That's her most Asian angle.
If this is the picture of what he's using,
you've won me over.
All right.
I'll give you a different picture.
No, no.
I'm saying she looks Asian there.
Definitely.
That's up in the air.
Okay.
Yeah, yeah. Is there a anyway mixed flavor i don't know
one third in that picture yeah right anyway kyle was right i can see where i got to where i went
though in any case that's a movie full of just super jack dudes none of which look natural except
for i guess shane black and just super mach mode. There's a scene where they all are pulling a rope together,
shirtless, to stretch a tree down.
So they're in this full Mr. Olympia flex mode,
like back is flexed out, like everything.
When Arnold gives military commands, like sign language,
it's always like, oh!
And so this is like, you know,
they put up the fist to like, all right, everybody sit still.
If you are supposed to charge forward, I will do a full back squat.
There's a scene where Arnold has to squat a truck.
I'm doing weighted lunges with coconuts.
Remember the prank Arnold played on, was it, who's the black guy?
I want to call him Danny Glover.
I know that's not who it's going to be.
What's his name?
You're talking about Apollo Creed.
Yeah. Are you talking about Apollo Creed or the big black guy with the shaved head? No, that's not who it's going to be. What's his name? You're talking about Apollo Creed. Yeah.
Are you talking about Apollo Creed or the big black guy with the shaved head?
No, Apollo Creed.
Okay.
What's his name?
Anyway, the plank, I thought you'd take over the story of it,
but I guess he started telling everyone around the cast that he had like 17-inch arms or something like that.
And Apollo Creed, I'll call him, knew that he had 19 inch arms so he
spread this rumor that that you know my numbers are off i've heard this before that schwarzenegger
had 17 inch arms and uh then he challenged him to like a bicep arm measuring contest and of course
arnold schwarzenegger had bigger arms the The other guy thought he would win and accepted the challenge
because the number had been spread throughout the set,
and then he busts out with 27-inch arms or something.
27?
I'm making up all these numbers.
27 seems enormous.
I want to say Arnold was 19 and three-quarters
or something like that at his best.
No, I was like 21, I think.
He had outrageously outer-proportioned biceps and chest like the rest his best or something. No, I was like 21, I think. He had like outrageously
out of proportion biceps and shit.
I still like the rest of them though.
We've been chit-chatting about fitness
and steroids and everything for a while.
I would love to watch this clip of Trump being asked
about if he's going to pardon
the Tiger King. Get us
onto some silly shit. You guys good with that?
Yes.
Always down for some Tiger King.
I can't wait to see the new footage
that comes out. Are we queued up at zero,
everybody?
Not yet?
One second. I was just doing a thing.
I haven't watched this
clip yet. Also. I have.
Kyle suggested it. Yeah.
It's pretty good.
If he pardons him, God, that'd be sick.
Yeah, give me a second.
Derek, are you familiar with The Tiger King?
Yeah, I haven't seen it.
Honestly, I haven't watched it, but I've seen
everyone talking about it.
Get on that shit, brother.
Hilarious. Alright, let's watch this.
Ready, set, play.
So one of the biggest rating hits
of the coronavirus, aside from these briefings
has been a show on netflix this guy can't help but smile and uh the man who's the star of this
everyone's owner who's serving a 22-year prison sentence uh he's asking you for a pardon saying
he was unfairly convicted um your son yesterday jokingly said that uh you know he was going to
advocate for it and i was wondering if you've seen the show and if you have any thoughts on pardoning
Joe.
Which son must be done?
I had a feeling.
I don't know.
I know nothing about his 22 years for what?
What did he do?
He hired someone to murder an animal rights activist, but he said that he didn't do that.
And he was.
You think he didn't do it?
Are you on his side?
Well, I.
Are you recommending a pardon?
No, I'm not.
As a reporter, you're not allowed to do that.
You'd be criticized by these.
Would you recommend a pardon?
I'm not weighing in on time.
I don't think you would.
I don't think you would.
Go ahead.
Do you have a question?
I'll take a look.
Is that Joe Exotic?
That's Joe Exotic.
Let me get back to the coronavirus if I can, Mr. President.
He handled that so well.
Perfect. Don't change a thing.
Yeah, no, it was fun.
What do you think?
You think you did it?
Are you advocating for... A lot of people would say it's not very professional
to advocate for someone's pardon.
These guys are going to have your ass.
You know that kind of shit?
I wish one of the reporters was like, I don't advocate
for a pardon because it's funnier.
Yeah, I wish they...
Yeah, get me in there.
PKA correspondent.
From RSK News here,
we'd like to
pose a question to you, sir,
if we may.
Yeah, I... The 80s were such a great time for those
beefy fucking
like if you were going to be an action star you had to be
it seems like like Steven Seagal has always kind of
been the exception to that rule like
he was always in shape I suppose and athletic
looking but he was like the
fourth rate action star behind
guys like Arnold, Stallone,
even Jean-Claude Van Damme.
And then
you see
the supporting cast of those movies, the bad guys,
were often the same group of guys
who were also these big musclehead
motherfuckers, just
probably Arnold's buddies at Gold's Gym.
He's like, would you like a part of the movie?
Yeah, you're jacked.
Let's go.
Everybody was huge. I loved that about those movies.
I wish that would come back because I feel like now
everybody's just sort of, I don't know,
athletic-ish.
They're not Arnold.
They were more liberal with
steroid use in the movies back then, I think.
They didn't talk about it, but I mean
they would sauce it up pretty hard. It would be guys that were just like actual bodybuilders in their
regular life that just got thrown into movies even if they weren't like the actual most popular
or i guess best actor for the job yeah how does that's how the mountain is like well the mountain
is not a bodybuilder uh thor bjornson or whatever yeah but like he he was
a power lifter and that's why they picked him for the mountain just like who's the biggest human on
earth he didn't have to be able to talk yeah how do the action stars of the 80s compare to the
avengers of today like the helms were way bigger the chris at way bigger I haven't even watched all those Avengers, but fucking
Arnold and those guys
in Predator would dwarf
any of these. Stallone.
Look at Stallone in Rocky 2.
Stallone in Rocky 2 doesn't look like a human
being anymore. He's packed on
so much muscle on that tiny little front.
I don't talk like one either.
I think Arnold might
drag up the average a bit, though,
because he was so much bigger than everybody else.
So when I'm thinking, oh, compare the 80s to now,
I'm thinking Arnold shits on everyone.
But it's like, if you put, I feel like if you put Hemsworth
beside Stallone or something in their peak,
Stallone's way more lean.
But some of these guys in size are like not that
far off it's just arnold and some like the other bodybuilders that just blow everyone out of the
water now yeah and like like you always had to find a giant guy to play opposite arnold and
not always and terminator is a good example of they went completely opposite with robert patrick
and terminator 2 uh and uh with what's
his name and terminator 1 yeah those were just regular sized guys maybe even undersized guys
but if you look at like the conan the barbarian movies you always had some giant motherfucker
opposite him yeah yeah yeah those pictures of of uh arnold and conan are insane yeah yeah he looks
like an actual superhero.
He had to slim down for that because he couldn't
do the sword work.
He was too big to swing
the sword. That's hilarious.
Then you see what Wilt Chamberlain looked like.
He was ginormous too, right? Am I in the right movie?
Wilt Chamberlain?
I think Wilt was definitely in
one of them. It may have been the second one.
He was tall and lean though. He was in in one of them. It may have been the second one. He was tall and lean, though.
He was in Conan the Destroyer.
Yeah, it's the second one.
Yeah.
Yeah.
He's got that fur hat.
He's the princess's bodyguard.
Looking after that pussy.
Nice.
Is he dead?
I don't know.
I don't know if I don't know.
I don't know if Wilt Chamberlain's dead.
Yeah, there's...
Oh, that's that picture.
Yeah, I've seen this picture before.
Yes, he is dead.
Yeah.
Died 21 years ago.
Schwarzenegger doesn't look that big
when he stands between Wilt Chamberlain
and Andre the Giant.
Yeah.
And Wilt Chamberlain...
Nobody looks big standing next to Andre.
Volkswagen.
But look at Wilt Chamberlain's bicep.
Like, for a guy as tall as he is, it's still ginormous.
But look at, like, Wilt Chamberlain and Arnold are facing the camera square,
so you can see, like, the full width of their bodies.
Andre is just angled casually, and he's still wider than either of them.
Andre had to angle casually so he could fit between those two trucks.
Yeah, you're right.
He did.
Yeah.
I love Andre the Giant.
Oh, that's another question.
Like the old WWF wrestlers.
Who was the biggest among them?
Because Hulk Hogan was really big.
Macho Man was really big.
Wasn't that guy who wore like a leotard
that went over his
shoulder
called something the giant? A big giant guy?
Well, Andre the Giant was...
No, not that guy. The other one.
The big show.
The Iron Sheik was big.
The Ultimate Warrior.
The Iron Sheik is hilarious on Twitter.
He was the one I liked. He was like a physique competitor kind of.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So he was like, he's not tall as fuck.
So he wasn't like just overall big, but his actual like development of everything was,
I feel, the best of anyone or at least the top of anyone.
Oh, yeah.
That's excellent.
Jesus Christ. That guy's a monster.
He's so big.
This particular one looks like a toy.
That guy is huge.
Wow, look at his nipples.
That guy has
some telltale signs
of gear. He's got the bitty.
Bitty.
Bitty.
You drink from that bitty, you'd get strong.
You get the runoff.
He's on so much Deanna Ball.
There is definitely some runoff.
You could lick his sweat and get jacked.
That's the origin of muscle milk.
He's so big.
He's so big.
Yeah. If I was Hulk Hoganogan i'm showing his picture now i don't think i'd want to be in the ring with him i think people would be like hulk do you even work out
yeah yeah so you are you getting six five or something this guy oh yeah i don't know these
guys are all enormous uh see this is a little... This is still Hogan's
yellow panty career.
It's not that early.
It's not that late. He hasn't gone into
Hollywood Hulk Hogan mode yet.
I see he is in the ring with a fellow wearing a mask,
which is also WWF style.
That's the ultimate warrior.
It's face paint.
Are we looking at the same thing?
Well, yeah, probably. I was looking at the first one. Isn't that a mask? Yeah, that's a mask that the the ultimate warrior. It's face paint. Are we looking at the same thing? Well, yeah, probably.
I was looking at the first one.
Isn't that a mask?
Yeah, that's a mask that the first guy has.
But I'm with you.
I'm with you.
It's, yeah, they're both very big.
The thing about Hogan, though, look how much taller he is.
How tall is Hulk Hogan?
Like 6'6", 6'7"?
I think he's 6'7 or 6'8".
What a monster.
And he looks like a child next to Andre.
Yeah.
Have you ever seen the WrestleMania where he slams
Andre and picks him up?
Yes. I think you actually showed us that
clip on the show before when we were talking about it.
It's not all that impressive, but you've got to keep in mind, he's lifting a quarter ton.
Right?
He kind of barely got it.
He didn't lift him up.
He just sort of
let him carry through with the momentum.
Yeah, he was just like,
hold over me, Andre.
He was the fulcrum over which the guy...
He played fulcrum.
But still, if it was me, the fulcrum
would have just smashed to the ground and not done anything.
Yeah, you'd have been crushed underneath him.
Andre probably would have been injured because by that point
he could barely fucking walk. He was like, I'm sorry, I can't get off of you.
Andre Schwarzenegger, I think.
Yeah, I can't do a very good Andre.
I don't know how.
It's just super deep.
The only thing that sucks about looking like that
is you look super impressive,
but you pretty much almost guaranteed
you're going to have heart disease at 50 or something.
I mean, I think it's pretty
well established that professional wrestlers
live long and healthy lives.
Is he dead, the Ultimate Warrior?
I think he might be.
His family definitely is. He took him out, right?
It wasn't him.
That was Chris Benoit, right?
Chris Benoit.
That guy went full force on his whole family.
I'll say this.
We talk about the heart disease and the steroid abuse.
Ric Flair, 71 years old, still going strong.
And he was drinking 12 to 15 drinks a day or something absurd.
Some absurd amount of alcohol.
He doesn't try to maintain in old age now, does he?
No, no.
Yeah.
I mean, more so than your average
71-year-old. He's not an average
71-year-old.
But his face
has...
He looks awful.
He's Crypt Keeper-ish.
Who looks good at 71, though?
Very, very few people.
But he looks extra bad.
Because for years he would do that he
would cut himself you know in the ring they use this little they hide a razor blade it would just
the tip exposed and they cut like their hairline well as his hairline receded suddenly that mask
of scars that he created at his hairline is exposed and now his forehead looks like he took
a cheese grater to it.
It's not far off from what he did.
Yeah.
Chiz, do all hockey players wear those half masks now?
Is that pretty much everyone's doing it?
Did you call me, Chiz?
He did.
I don't know why he was in my head.
I think I was just looking.
I'm sorry.
I was looking at the list. I just sent a friend request to Derek, and I looked at his name and called you Chiz.
Taylor, do all hockey players wear half masks
now? It's now required. So if you enter the league at this point, you have
to wear a half shield visor. But there are some
guys who, some of them even as young as like 29, 28, who got grandfathered
in so they don't have to wear it. The same way that like there were guys
and there
was like a goalie in the 70s who's like i'm not wearing the mask no matter what you tell me and
it's like just gore he looks like a scary movie extra like the henchman behind the main bad guy
with all his scars and it's like dude you shouldn't do that i used to see like 19 year olds enter the
league and they look great
they look like professional like professional athlete models you know they come in and they're
all so great and then you see like rod brindamore next to them 20 years into their career who knows
how many times that nose has been broken in the face there was this defenseman on the blues named
vince dunn who like all the ladies were were swooning over and he's only like 20 something years old and like he got a slap shot to the face or something like that or
a stick knocked a bunch of his teeth out slid his lip and things and it was like literally the fight
club version of like i just wanted to destroy something beautiful now you can like tell that
he has he is one of the sports where when you see them in person
you almost can't even tell that they're professional athletes like i used to work
as a bouncer uh downtown where i live and we i was at this private lounge where we'd have the nhl
teams coming to play our city they'd come party where i was a bouncer and i'd see these guys walk
in and i'm like maybe one out of 20,
you'd be like,
okay, this guy's definitely a professional athlete.
Just looking at them in normal clothes,
walking around the rest of them just look like random dudes who you just,
you know,
other than the fact that none of no professional hockey players can wear
jeans because their asses and thighs are too big.
Like they,
they look ridiculous walking around in jeans,
but you're right.
Other than that,
like they,
a lot of them look pretty normal.
They prioritize speed
and dexterity over...
They have a cap on how much
they allow you to bench in training camp.
After a certain number,
Tarasenko and Reeves years ago...
Tarasenko's our top scorer.
He hit it. He's a monster.
They were like, no, you can't bench anymore.
You're not allowed to bench anymore.
Any more than this is not helpful for your slap shot, for your wrist shot, for anything.
How about you just squat a bunch and practice explosives?
It can be injury prone too.
That's true.
I think I used the term wrong, but you're with me.
Yeah, yeah.
If they just keep escalating that to where they're benching 350 and 400, they're going to hurt themselves.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah. Likely. What do you bench derrick now um i don't even like check what my max is now to be honest i used to be obsessed
with breaking plateaus in terms of you know max out attempts and whatnot i used to do at my peak peak was like four plates for a couple which is like 405 goodness now though i do way less than
that because i'm trying to even though i probably could get away with it i'm trying to have longevity
in mind in terms of not getting injured because in bodybuilding you just need to stimulate you
don't need to like lift brute force ridiculous amounts
for low reps you need to you know get in stimulate the muscle adequately and get out and ideally not
injure yourself so i do higher reps lower weight now with like a 12 to 15 rep range typically for
most stuff so that's like on the flat bench that's like 225 usually. Okay.
That's cool, actually.
How many reps are you doing at 225?
Just curious.
Like 12 to 15, yeah.
12 to 15.
Yeah. When I could bench 405, I could bench.
I think I tried doing two plates for as many as I could completely fresh,
and I got like 30-something.
That was like at my peak, and i was training for strength now
it's like i'm so focused on like controlling the weight down like feeling it rather than
just like moving the fucking thing which is what i used to do and i would leave the gym every time
i'd be scared to go in and lift sometimes because i was lifting so heavy i'd walk up to the you know
the bar to deadlift and i'd have like five plates on it I'd be like
I hope I don't snap my shit today
and then I'd leave
the gym and be happy I did it but I was like
fuck like it was
a stressful thing. Another successful lift
where I didn't die or ruin my back
like I was stressed out to go to the gym because of that
and frankly it's kind of
not needed for bodybuilding you can get away
with a lot less and just lift more seen lift more reps there seems to be a wave of more intelligence applied to lifting
weights than there was back in the day you know people lifting a little smarter athlean x is
always trying to like smash your tiny little muscle group with seven pounds or a broomstick
or something instead of benching 400 pounds
yeah yeah some of his shit is uh i don't know if it's just because he needs new material or what
but it's like i feel like sometimes he makes it seem more complicated than it is it's almost
probably like how my content makes drugs seem more complicated than they need to be in some
capacity for him it's like oh you need to be at this exact angle
for this specific like rotator movement to that you could otherwise just get on a fucking like
inclined dumbbell press do a fly do this and then some push-ups and then you're done your chest
so your content would be easier for me to absorb as a noob if you threw in short little vocabulary
help now and then you know when i say androgen receptors that's what
this is and right instead of get some animation like and i don't i don't mean like the scientific
animation i mean some fucking cartoon characters like i dig that a lot i've been trying to add in
graphs and stuff which i used to just like ramble which i still do but now i actually add in
animation in some capacity and i
add in little graphs here with like this is how much muscle gain and i'll have like a picture of
a guy and like a graph showing this many pounds and this kind of thing but well yeah my favorite
part about your videos all seems to come from like an honest and sincere place there's no
salesmanship there's no like there's no bullshit there's no
magic it's just like this is my testing this is my results and you know what i'm not going to use
this one again or this one did everything i hoped it would it i don't know it just like honest review
is almost what it is yeah yeah even if i could get like an affiliate commission off something
like i'll say if it fucked up my blood work i'll show my blood work and then people can make their own you know educated guests based off that and that's
kind of like i feel like the best way to approach it because if you don't you're just gonna at some
point lose your credibility you know what i mean so like for me i'll just say what it did for me
and then even if that leads to less money in some capacity, it doesn't really matter.
Cause at the end I'm building the brand that I think longterm will be,
have the longevity.
Right.
People actually trust my opinions.
You know what I mean?
So I agree.
I would like to watch Kyle's video of someone going off on a registered
sex offender.
It's a really good video.
Let me do a real quick ad retell the folks about smart mouth and then we'll
jump right into that. You guys are not going to want to miss this video. Let me do a real quick ad read, tell the folks about SmartMouth, and then we'll jump right into that.
You guys are not going to want to miss this video.
I saw it like four weeks ago, maybe three weeks ago, actually.
And I saved it for the show, and then I lost that Google Doc.
And I just remembered it and got somebody to link it to me.
Everybody hates talking to someone with bad breath.
That humid, awful smell, it keeps you from focusing on anything other than finding an excuse to leave.
Now just think about all the times that you were the gross smelly one and the other person was
trying to find a way to get away from you. You probably can't think of any examples,
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you could be walking around with trash mouth, not even realize that you're grossing everyone out.
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Once again, that's smartmouth.com slash pka for your free coupon.
It really is great stuff.
Big fan.
What you need fixes breath.
I bet if you did an honest review
on SmartMouth on your channel,
you'd be like, this shit works.
Yeah, it's excellent.
All right, sorry to keep you waiting.
No, that's fine.
I literally finished the ad eight seconds ago or something.
Perfect.
Yeah, I'm queued at zero on this delectable video.
This is some real justice served type shit.
Three.
Let's give it a watch.
Three, two, one, play.
He's beating this girl. one player.
He's beating this girl.
It's not where I saw this going.
I think maybe you're on the wrong video.
Is that not a girl?
You're going to want to go to the one that I linked.
Let's go back to zero seconds.
Oh, I went to two.
I see.
It was a lady
sex offender. Didn't see that coming.
We'll do my video afterward. I haven't watched mine,
so I can't verify for its goodness, but it seems funny.
I think maybe
I've seen cows. We'll see.
Can we start over?
Back at zero.
Three, two, one, play.
Jotty.
How old are you?
How fucking old are you? Pow! You you? How old are you? How old are you? How old are you? How fucking old are you?
Pow!
You got something to fucking say to him?
Oh, yeah.
You got something to say to him?
I feel like I've seen this before.
I've seen it.
Scotty, now you're fucking telling me something.
Good for him, though.
Let me fucking tell you something.
Scotty.
Let me fucking tell you something, bitch.
Let me fucking tell you something.
We've told you multiple times.
Fucking creep. Pow! To leave them girls alone. In it, motherfucker. In it, motherfucker. So the guy laying on the back
Is a registered sex offender
And that's dad
Who's upset that he's trying to pick up his daughter
And you know that bitch on the ground
Isn't calling the police about this
Well I was trying to talk to her very
receptive like oh you want your phone tough I know about you you're a goddamn
fuck bird good slaps
Good slaps.
Yes, sir.
I like the quick oscillation between accusatory finger and open hand smack.
You don't know what's coming, a point or a hit.
Yeah.
They're both coming.
This dad should issue a little bit of corrective rate.
Yeah, you like that?
You don't, do you?
That was a good one.
That was a good one.
He slapped the shit out of that man.
He did.
I enjoyed that. I enjoyed that immensely.
I like the slaps.
I like the camera work.
The wife was pretty good.
That's a 9 out of 10
justice served video if you ask me. I enjoy that a lot.
It's a very nice justice served. There's nothing better than
watching a convicted pedophile
get smacked around a little bit.
Didn't you guys have Chris Hansen
on way back?
Yeah, we did.
Is he still doing his thing?
Is he still doing his thing? He is.
He is. He doesn't have the same distribution that he used to.
Now he's on to YouTube
Defenders.
Is he on True TV? I always see him
talking to Blade and asking about
Onision. That's the last time I've ever heard of him
was the Blade thing, sitting down.
He's on to disgraced
YouTubers now.
It's a new genre. who got a worse uh a
more humiliating beating blade or this pedophile probably the pedophile yeah blade isn't a pedophile
and it's pretty humiliating being a pedophile hmm fair enough yeah but they both had the same sort
of you know what i changed my mind about all this, kind of post-hit.
Yeah, Blade got hit and he goes, you know what?
It was my bad.
I was wrong.
It's like post-nut clarity.
It's post-punch clarity.
Where you're just like, oh shit, it just got real for me.
I was in the wrong.
I was wrong.
I was wrong.
Dude, I'm so sorry.
I'm so sorry.
Don't kill me.
Don't beat me.
Derek, you probably don't know this,
but there's a guy named Blade.
We all enjoy his company.
Nice enough guy,
but he's an alcoholic, clearly.
And he was super drunk and he decided to take it upon himself
to do two things.
One, he hit this guy's girlfriend on the butt hard.
Kyle, do you want to go?
Here's the shocking thing about that, Woody.
He slapped her ass after getting punched out.
Oh, jeez.
Wait, what?
Oh, the video was edited the other way.
I have done further research, and I have been informed by multiple parties.
He did that thing where you slap somebody in the back of the head,
but he did it to a very big guy.
This guy keeps a barbell in front of his living room TV.
Yeah.
He's got his barbell in his living room.
Like,
like,
like really big arms.
Like,
like,
like,
like,
yeah,
it's just big guy.
Who's probably working out four or five times a week.
This,
this alcoholic overweight fellow decides to give him one of those big
brother slaps in the back of the head on a live stream.
And big man stands up and pops him in the mouth
real fucking hard.
Drills him. He slapped his
girlfriend in the ass like
minutes later. I was shocked
when I learned that. I remember the previous altercation.
Well, there probably was a bit of concussion.
What's the best diet for someone who drinks 1900
calories a day and Yagermite?
What do you recommend?
Ask it for a friend.
The sugariest
alcohol there is, I would imagine.
Probably Fireball or something.
I bet he hasn't had solid
shit in five years.
That's
I would not take that bet.
Yeah.
Does alcohol give you diarrhea?
Yeah.
He's not eating food.
He's just drinking.
So there's no solid poops to have.
Oh, yeah, because he's lost some weight.
I remember I complimented him on dropping some body fat,
and you told me that I didn't understand some of the dynamics of alcoholism,
that they lose their hunger.
What is the word?
Appetite.
Appetite is what I'm looking for.
They lose their appetite and just get into this kind of thinner but low muscle
mass, unhealthy, different sort of body.
It's like the chicks who get
Coke ripped.
They just take Coke and never eat
and they just get shredded, but they're
malnourished as fuck looking.
Tremendously unhealthy.
I like that look a lot
i like that look that stripper look yeah yeah yeah so i know we're trying to keep everybody
indoors right now for the for the corona for the rona virus and uh kenya is taking it a little
more seriously than we are it seems based on this video that kenya conscripted the Maasai tribe to enforce
the curfew for them.
And so let's watch the Kenya Maasai tribe.
That can't be true. None of that's true.
It's in the video title. I don't believe it.
Well, then let's fucking watch it.
If it's in a Reddit title, Kyle, how can you disagree with that?
It's right there on the internet.
If the Maasai tribe is helping us all
social distance, then
I will eat my hat. We need these people in Chicago.
It's not helping us. It's just in Kenya.
They're not hanging out around here.
Fair enough. I'm ready to watch.
Ready, set, play.
Yeah, you see?
My side tribe doesn't give a fuck.
This dude in the dress is tougher
than these other 18 people combined.
He's like a sheep dog.
Why is no one standing up to...
Dude, this guy is pool guy of the week so far.
This guy hunts lions with his bare hands, Woody.
Nobody wants any of that.
All he does, he's just running into crowds of people standing too close
and swinging like a maniac.
He's got like...
He's like that guy from 300 who's like tall
as fuck compared to everybody. Yes.
He's got like that piece of leather barbers use
to strop their blades.
Fucking hammering people with this thick
ass piece of strop. I will have your name erased
from history.
People will never know you existed.
I don't. from these people. People will never know you existed.
That's so fucking funny.
Hell yeah to that guy.
That's going to be a hard throne to overtake for cool guy of the week.
Oh, come on.
Because everybody else in Kenya,
they're wearing like 2019
Boston Bruins Stanley Cup champion t-shirts.
He's running around in his dress smacking people with it.
Oh man, that's tight.
We need some of that here maybe.
That cross-dresser was clearly the toughest person in Kenya.
Hey, that's
a cultural dress.
And that guy, as far as he looked,
maybe people in Kenya are short, but he looked tall.
He looked tall as fuck.
He looked taller than everybody else.
By a lot.
I don't know how big people are in Kenya.
I know they're fantastic runners,
so I would guess very slight endurance-heavy people.
Right?
Yeah, they used to do that endurance hunting way back in the day.
That sounds like the worst way to hunt.
Chase wildebeest until the wildebeest tires out?
Yeah, they would chase the game
until the game died of exhaustion.
I would go hungry.
How far away is food again?
Well, it is right there,
but we must chase it for 18 to 22 miles.
Then it will die.
And then we carry the meat back with us.
Can I just starve?
Just let me die.
You know, I'm going to eat leaves here and hope for something.
This coronavirus thing has really put a damper on all my fun.
I have those cows over there that I want to slaughter Bessie and fill a deep freeze up with cow meat.
But we don't want to go through the whole process
of going to the slaughtering place.
We don't want to bump...
I'm staying away from people.
Yeah.
I pay my yard man on PayPal.
You can just let Bessie hang out, right?
What?
You can just kind of let Bessie hang out
for what is probably like three more months or something.
Yeah, but I want the food now.
I want...
Fair.
I wish I had it now.
Hey, Woody, are you dollar-cost averaging into the market right now?
Yeah, yeah, I always do.
Nothing's changed.
Aggressively more so, though, based on what's happening?
Yeah, that wouldn't be dollar-cost.
No, I just have it on autopilot.
Right.
I just mean if it wasn't on a monthly basis,
dividing it into a weekly basis based on like – you know what I mean?
I think you're saying, Woody, do you think we're at a market low is the translation.
And I don't get into calling the lows, right?
Like you could say yes, right?
I do see the same trends, right?
And then I hear other people saying, oh, this is a classic bear trap.
It's a little bit of rise before a double low.
Don't try to catch a falling knife.
And I'm just like
if I could tell the future I'd be
so rich
gotcha
Bernie Sanders has
really let me down I was
I can't believe he just dropped out of the race
instead of like
I feel like he stayed in when he had
less than 1% chance of winning for a month.
I go off 538.
The odds of Biden pissing himself and crying and or dying between now and November are greater than 1%.
Are you going to piss yourself, cry, maybe cum?
Kyle and I bet $100.
Kyle got Biden and Bernie to be the Democratic nominee, and I got everybody else.
And the only reason I haven't paid yet, it's payable at the Democratic National Convention,
but the only reason I haven't paid early is I'm counting on both of them to die pre-convention.
And that's not, I mean, what is it, the prime minister of the UK or Britain or whatever?
Boris Johnson.
Yeah, Boris Johnson.
He has corona, and I was hearing
he was looking really rough, but then I saw
some posts earlier today where it's like, oh, now
he's not in the ICU anymore, so maybe he's not.
I don't know. I heard they're using
CPAP machines as ventilators now.
I've thought that.
I wonder if mine would make do.
Yeah.
It would have to help a little.
Sometimes when I wake up in the morning,
I don't take it off right away.
Imagine being some peon who breathes unfiltered,
unhumidified, unheated air.
I'm a bit of an air snob.
It's just like, this is so perfect.
It's like...
I can just picture you laying there like,
ah!
Loving it.
I don't know how I could sleep with that thing pressing into my...
I guess you get used to it, but that seems hard.
It's pretty light pressure.
I picked Bernie and Biden against the entire field
and Trump to win.
That is definitely –
You're going to be right.
Yeah.
That was my call several months ago, and it's definitely where I am right now.
They're like, Biden's leading by eight points.
It's – okay, then.
Yeah, I don't – I feel like the polls now,
and they all have Biden winning nationally, are irrelevant almost.
Let's wait and see when these campaign ads really fire up.
I want to see stuttering,
headed into the forest with dying batteries, Joe Biden.
Rapist, Joe Biden.
Well, that is Bernie Sanders' problem, I will admit.
He hadn't raped enough women to be considered for the presidential.
He was on the low end.
Had I known, I would have done a lot more in the 70s and 80s
but biden and trump they're proper rapists i suppose so they're they're the ones we're going
with but um yeah yeah so i want to see biden right painted as this bumbling fool who's fading
and then trump right we can take his coronavirus predictions of there's 15 and like magic it'll
be nothing this is not a problem
coronavirus predictions with uh the graveyard of people or caskets oh that's not gonna work
his his approval ratings have only gone up like he has a i think he should have shut shit down
earlier but like nationwide his approval ratings have gone up for his handling of of corona up but
his approval ratings are only considered good
compared to his they're higher compared to what obama's were at the equal point in the presidency
i saw a comparison i could i could fact check that and show you the graphs but yeah no you couldn't
ah fuck you but yeah yeah i uh um if you look at like you can find a random poll or something
but the truth is
Trump by and large has been one of the
most unpopular presidents in my lifetime
comparable only to Jimmy Carter
I'm pretty sure he has the highest approval rating of any
president in the 21st century
this is true
on average
did you see him wrestle Obama
8 years ago? did you see the wrestling tournament, Taylor?
Yeah
That Trump won
When Trump was like, say uncle, say uncle
Ultimate warrior was there
It's demeaning, I'm not doing that
Disappointing
You know, he's got a lot more ass strength
Than you'd think
That golf is doing something for him
He's thick around the middle, around the bottom.
He's got such a big fat ass.
Big old booty on Trump.
He generates some power.
The picture of him on the follow through of a golf swing
and just his enormous khaki ass in your face.
Yes.
So funny.
Yeah, he's got a very pear body shape.
I wouldn't bet against him.
I'm looking forward to it.
Elections are always
fun uh i think it would have been obviously i wanted bernie to win but uh but but it'll be fun
to watch trump beat biden and hopefully and biden gets embarrassed along the way because you know
he's senile why hopefully they hate biden what like what is it about biden that makes you dislike
him so much oh i think he's a rapist.
Really? But you don't think... I think that Biden's lost his mind.
He's like 120th of the rape accusations that Trump does.
I don't think that's accurate.
No?
I don't think Trump has any rape accusations.
And also, Biden, we've seen him creep on these children, right?
Like, we've seen his activities.
Trump is like...
Dude, that's just game. Trump seems more like a horned dog.
He's got a fucking
fourth grade game.
If you're like, Trump cheated on his wife, I'd be like,
I guarantee he did.
Did he rape anybody?
I don't know about that.
No, you can text me on this phone. That dumb bitch doesn't
speak English. Eight languages, not one.
Not one word of this.
You can grab him by the pussy.
If you're famous, they just let you or something.
Well, he's describing a scenario in which they like it.
Like it?
Yeah, that was the most silly thing about that.
He even said, and they let you do it.
It's clearly a guy bloviating about trying to be Mr. Cool in front of Billy Bush.
The fucking loser.
Why?
Why are you trying to impress Billy Bush? The difference to me is that I've
seen Biden be so
creepy with children that it would
upset me as a parent.
I have no doubt
Trump was creepy in those Miss
USAs or whatever.
Yeah, I would be too. Teen USA.
All right.
Teen USA. He went on Howard Stern and bragged about being able to see the girls in Miss Teen USA.
How old do you have to be in Teen USA?
Is that like 18 and 17-year-olds?
I imagine it's not like some 13-year-old trotting out out there, right?
I've never watched it.
I think you're right about it.
There's no way to tell.
All I know is if Joe Biden had sniffed the hair of the daughter of that man we watched earlier,
he would definitely get a talking to.
Right?
Hey, what are you doing coming over here, Jack?
I hope that I would turn to violence against Joe Biden.
I don't want him cucking me, sniffing my daughter's hair,
or grabbing my wife's waist in a suggestive way or
something like the funniest photo of him doing that shit is when he's sitting in some pub or
like a coffee house with a biker and there's like a biker and the bikers uh uh bitch or whatever
they call them in in that society and he's like snuggling up arm around this uh this leather clad girl and then
there's that guy sitting there in the booth just side eyeing him like you son of a bitch what do
you think you're doing right if i can see now little biden enjoying himself it seems like in
biden's entire life he never met someone quick enough to go to violence right i if biden hit
that guy in the back of the head
and got the blade treatment,
maybe Biden would be a better man today for it.
Oh, that would definitely set off the dementia.
Would have knocked his teeth clean out.
Those teeth are bolted in there in a way.
They're not coming out.
Oh, they're almost falling out all the time.
I legitimately think that Joe Biden is suffering
from some sort of cognitive issues,
and I would literally be afraid to have him to be the president of the United States.
Everybody was like, oh, you don't trust Trump with the button?
He didn't nuke anybody yet, all right?
He seems pretty even-handed with that sort of thing, to be honest.
If anything, he's held back the horses of war.
Biden really seems to be losing his shit.
Yeah, he doesn't seem very with it but that just makes for funny clips hilarious clips i really hope they get on the debate stage together i hope
that would be hysterical i mean like biden's got to be thanking his or i guess his handlers are he's
playing with legos in the other room but like his handlers have to be like oh thank god this virus is going to give us an excuse to not put him on the stage you know
derrick did not much at all yeah i'm in canada though so i don't have as like tight of uh you
know like grasp of everything but like i still know what you guys are talking about for the more
or less and yeah that guy uh i feel like he'd get fucking lit up on stage if they ever had a live debate
between each other oh yeah like there's no way he could hold his own i want trump to put the
children that biden has sniffed in the front row of the crowd so bad oh my god he knew biden would
be up there he's like my opponent over here he does a really nice thing he brought a bunch of
cute kids up front some of them them feel familiar, but yeah.
He's like, you see this, folks? He has no idea. He smelled
that young woman's hair. I wish he said some of them smell
familiar.
I can smell...
Is that palm olive?
Yeah, you're that tropical bitch.
What a terrible human being.
No.
You know, all of these fucking politicians are terrible oh they're
all terrible yeah yeah i there are very few of them with any redeeming qualities i'm just waiting
to see what the next generation from like the millennials ends up being like if it's going to
be the same level of bullshit and just delusion going i think it's human nature i think we've
always been full of shit i think if you went back to the old like roman senate they were probably just as bad
yeah maybe even more pedo more pedophilia yeah yeah i mean like that's the campaign
he's sniffing the girl's pussy instead while he's voting on a bill. And everybody's like, oh, look, Cassius got himself a new one.
And yea, verily, I put to the floor
that we should reduce the age of consent
from seven to five.
Days.
Days.
No longer will the law
keep the most
supple
away from the senate
just a huge
pause between the number and the fucking
tell me how many of thine balls
be heavy and full with
what better place
than a boy's hole?
Oh, Jesus.
That was the greatest more.
I wonder
how much of that shit was true.
I'm going to go with all of it because it entertains me.
There's no way that there were just whole
entire successful empires
where they're just molesting
kids. Well, I guess we're one,
so never mind. I redact all of that
you know we're an empire that molest children i'm saying like the epstein thing and like
all that like and obviously epstein isn't the only guy it's not like he got shut down and all
the elites are like oh well shit like where am i gonna get young pussy now like like no there's
some other guy with another island out there or some
some you know underground bunker or perhaps a pizza place in dc where they where they uh molest
kids so that's real it's absolutely real and there's no way to fact check it not a bit no
wish i knew how i wish i knew how to fact check pizza gate how much of a fool are we all going to feel if in like five years they're like,
yeah, the pizza thing was real.
Everybody's going to feel like a jackass.
I don't think that's going to happen.
I want to say there was something recently about that
where like one of the guys who was like front and center
saying the Pizzagate thing was ridiculous
just turned out to be a pedophile.
Oh, I saw that too.
The guy on Twitter and his name even included cheese pizza in it, like CP, child pornography, cheese pizza.
And he was leading the charge like, people saying.
And then just a few months later, it's like,
so-and-so indicted on counts of molesting children.
It doesn't mean child porn.
It means child pussy.
You fool.
Oh, wait, are we live?
Yeah, there's just so many pedophiles.
You hear about a ring of them getting caught.
Every day, it seems like.
Oh, 187 international pedophiles rounded up today in global sting.
It happens so often.
I wonder if it's like the underlying motivation to get into politics.
It's because you know that's your way to get.
That's why I became a priest.
The underlying qualification to get. That's why I became a priest. The underlying qualification
to get into politics. Maybe they're like,
well, we could definitely help with your
campaign, sir, but I'm going to need you to
have your way with this young child.
Instead of killing a guy to get into a game,
you have to do this shit.
Isn't that kind of what Epstein's thing was?
To bring powerful people to that island and entrap them
and then have shit on them that they couldn't
deny if they went against whatever
I have heard that. Well, if that were
the case, they'd have never let that guy live.
Shit. Well, they certainly
wouldn't have let him get to court.
And they wouldn't have exposed any records from the island.
And they wouldn't have ever allowed those hard drives to go.
And then they would probably...
Huh. Huh. Huh. Shit.
I always go back to like like must be pretty good though right
they're all risking it for the biscuit
risking it for the biscuit you know like what is it about that child ass that that is making all
these people commit the ultimate sin like the forbidden fruit. How young are the girls? There's nothing lower.
How young are the girls?
Are these like 16 and 17 year old girls?
No, because that's not pedophilia.
Well, no, but the thing was is that,
or what's accused or assumed,
is that he would bring proper people there,
have a, let's say, 15 year old there
as a basic sex slave who looked much older looked legal and then film
any nefarious activities going on between a powerful person and her and then suddenly it's
like did you realize you just slept with an underage person really oh well i've got hd video
of it so uh you're gonna vote yes on that we're talking about like a 15 year old brook shields
no way to know no way to know i don't know what she looked like at 50
brooke shields looked 18 at 12 it was it's one of her defining characteristics i didn't know that
yeah yeah blue lagoon that i think was she literally 12 how old was she i think we've
looked let me see how old she was in blue lagoon it was 1980 and Brook Shields is...
Isn't that the movie where they had actual naked kids? Yeah.
How do you get away with that?
The premise of the movie is their family
is sailing. The sailboat has
some sort of problem and they get
cast away on this island by themselves.
I don't know if the parents didn't make it to the island
or if they died early, but the brother
and sister become the only surviving members
of this island.
They're prepubescent,
and they go through puberty over the course of the movie
and fuck each other and figure out how to survive.
It's actually a pretty good movie.
Yeah, she's like 13, 14.
13 or 14.
And they show a naked 14-year-old.
You see her bush, if I recall.
I mean, her first role was when she was 12.
She had the leading role
in Louis Malley's film
Pretty Baby,
in which she played
a child prostitute.
She was typecasted.
She was typecasted.
I'll bet she was.
Well, that's pretty fucked up.
Yeah.
Wow.
Shouldn't be able to make that movie.
It's a coming-of-age story. It's like, no, you. Wow. Shouldn't be able to make that movie. It's a coming of age story.
It's like, no, you just want to look at naked kids.
Did Weinstein produce this thing?
He may have.
Who knows?
His only redeeming quality is that I think his Weinstein company produced Lord of the Rings.
Which gives a lot of forgiveness.
I heard he got the Corona.
Yeah.
Did he really?
I heard the Tiger King might have it too.
I know they put him in some sort of isolation ward or something.
Corona in prison?
I hope the Tiger King's okay,
and I hope Weinstein survives it
so he can spend a lot of time in prison.
Okay.
Yeah, a prisoner with coronavirus
must instantly give it to everybody.
It spreads via breathing, coughing.
There's no isolation in prison, I think.
Not much.
I would imagine it's one of the worst places.
Not a whole lot.
Not a whole lot.
Yeah.
And if you go two weeks without symptoms,
you would bump into 600 people before they quarantine you.
It was, I don't know, like 125 of us sharing four sinks and five showers.
So, and four toilets.
So yeah.
So you would have got sick for sure.
Everyone.
One, two microwaves, one ice machine, four TVs.
No hand sanitizer.
Right.
There was soap.
If a guy shares that for two weeks with before his symptoms kick in and it's as contagious
as they say, it would have to get 100%
close to it.
Yeah, absolutely. Because we're not
in cells, or in my case we weren't.
So if you're in the top bunk, you're just breathing
out over to
the cell next to you, and it would just
propagate. I picture cinder block
walls like five feet tall
creating little
pens that there are bunk beds in
is that mine pretty close that's exactly right how tall is the locker taller than the wall
it's even with the wall perfectly even with the wall um it goes down to the floor um
like a high school locker maybe like but a little shorter actually you know what it didn't go down
the floor it went down to about the shin it was like shin to to here maybe three shelves like shelf shelf and then a bottom and
You know each prisoner had his own like locker for you for all your incidental why these days
You know, I'm doing my hands, uh, let's say
Two feet wide Oh wider than I thought
Okay. Yeah, there was enough room in there
for me to have like all of my clothes everything i had was fit fit in there pretty pretty easily
and i had a lot of food and a lot of um like random junk you know toothpaste shampoos all my
soap like i bought a case of soap when i got there all of my like pajamas shit and extra
greenies which is what we called
our like green jumpsuits that I never had to wear there was enough room for everything pretty much
what color was the cool one tan um well if you're working there there was only one color if you were
um like going out into the facility to actually do a job and it was your like uniform quote unquote which was like if they're really snap snapping the whip like everybody better be dressed in green and
it's green pants and it's green uh button-up shirt like heavy it's heavy cloth though and it was
summer so i mostly just wore literally the sweatpants i've got on now just a pair of like
gray sweatpants and like a gray t-shirt like like that was what i wore 95 of the time and a pair of like gray sweatpants and like a gray t-shirt like like that was what i wore
95 of the time and a pair of like flip-flops like nike flip-flops that have those little
like rubber pokey things in the bottom that sort of you know orange is the new black led me down
the wrong path there i thought for sure it's different it's different everywhere like like
um i've seen uh when i was driving through Louisiana one time from Texas,
they had all the guys in pink.
They had all the guys in pink doing road work,
and it was like hot pink.
It was very embarrassing kind of pink.
I've definitely seen guys in pink.
Yeah, he did that too.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Brown.
I think orange is pretty common too.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Pink makes it, if you get over the whole pink
is for girls thing it makes a certain sense it identifies this is not a normal outfit yeah you
stand the fuck out yeah the green shit you wouldn't know if you saw somebody wearing that
you'd think i probably doing some yard work today or something it just looks like a work uniform
that like a custodian might wear especially the gray shirt and sweatpants like that's
that's not abnormal clothes.
Oh, it was absolutely normal
clothes. That's what I would
wear 95%
of the time. I wasn't allowed to wear
that if I was going out into the facility,
but I stayed in the dorm most of the time.
I didn't want to leave the air conditioning.
Let me do the last ad read if he's stepping
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They're pretty great during this whole quarantine thing. i haven't used them lately i've been cooking so much out of my like stored up uh like quarantine supplies but the last time
i ordered i noticed that like the driver had like a full mask gloves and the the food was all
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and it made me feel a lot better about getting food delivered.
There you go. Postmates.
A wonderful service for wonderful people.
Yeah, that sounds good.
If you want to bounce,
then we really appreciate having you
on the show, man.
I think, yeah, I'm sure everyone doesn't want me rambling on about gear for fucking
four hours straight and whatnot.
Anyway.
Uh, thanks for having me guys.
Really appreciate it.
Tell everyone everywhere they can find you and your stuff.
Yeah.
Um, so you can find me on more plates, more dates on YouTube, my website, more plates,
more dates.com.
Um, my new tropic brand, uh, gorilla mode.com and pre-workout formulas
and whatnot uh pretty much just type in more plates more dates you'll find me and um yeah
anyways really appreciate it guys yeah we enjoyed having you it was very informative
uh and uh really enjoyed having you on thanks a lot all, take it easy, guys. All right.
Woody, you're muted.
That explains so much.
Oh, were you talking?
You were there.
Yeah, yeah.
No, but it's okay.
You guys have probably been there too.
I didn't notice until he said it.
Just now. Because I was looking at him.
Okay.
I enjoyed having him on.
A lot of fun. Very cool guy. Seems like a nice guy. Not at all what I thought he was going to be. it just because i was looking at i was looking at him yeah okay i enjoyed having him on a lot
of fun very cool guy seems like a nice guy uh not at all what i thought he was going to be
really you thought he'd be not a nice guy um no not necessarily um i just thought maybe
i didn't he he seems very intelligent um oh i saw that predicted I predicted that. Yeah. Very knowledgeable guy and not just in his
little realm of
influence or whatever.
Had fun talking to him about 80s
movies and
everything else. Really enjoyed having him on.
Glad he came. Yeah, me too.
Yeah.
You finished the ad, right?
We got all that out of here.
All three ads. three ads wrapped them up
hell yeah i wasn't sure if we were doing another one nope nope that's all of them
that's all of them that's all of them i'm on uh episode nine of ozark now
have you guys finished it no i haven't started it i haven't started i won't say anything but
suffice to say this season is excellent so far. Everything online that I was seeing is like
the penultimate episode, episode nine,
is supposed to be fucking insane. Super
good. And that's what I'm going to watch tomorrow evening.
And so I'm... But up through eight?
Awesome season.
You got to get on it. It's great.
Yeah, I think I will.
I watched season two. Not as
good as season one, but still very good.
Season three is better than season two.
That's what I'm hearing, yeah.
That's what I read online.
I'm on the movies and television and movie details subreddits a lot,
seeing what people think about stuff.
I'm always looking for something new to watch,
but Ozark seems like the thing to watch next.
I've been re-watching a bunch of old Star Trek and shit like that
because it's like comfort food, and I really enjoy those.
I'm watching Deep Space Nine from the beginning right now.
I've been doing that with Sonny, my little comfort food. I'm sure that Space Nine from the beginning right now. I've been doing that with Sunny.
My little comfort food.
I'm sure that's a comfort food show for you as well.
I've seen it too many times.
Me too, but I still love it.
We watch Parks and Rec for a show like that.
Parks and Rec and there's another.
Yeah, I don't know.
Old stuff is fun to watch again.
Community is on Netflix now.
That's a brand new...
I've never watched
that show i don't think i haven't either but it's got a real uh loyal fan base yeah it's pretty good
pretty good it's just a comedy yeah so it's a group of people from different backgrounds who
go to community college and form a study group and all sorts of hijinks emerge from there
okay i might check chevy chase is in it so i that that's
the thing that would draw me to it so i might check that out well he's a very funny guy and
apparently he is tremendously difficult to get along with yeah which makes him funnier is that
like he's fucking chevy chase and so he's not putting up with your shit and he'll just be an
asshole to you yeah yeah i don't know if he's an asshole in a funny way or just an asshole way but
that's the seems like an asshole way, but that's the... Seems like an asshole way
from everything I've always ever read.
Like Edward Norton levels of
I'm a piece of shit, but I don't care.
I'm disappointed to hear that about Ed Norton. You told me that
recently. I didn't know he was an
absolute terror to work with. Otherwise, he'd
probably be in more shit because he's great.
Yeah, last thing I saw him in, I think, was Birdman.
Yeah, and that
movie was good, but it wasn't i don't know it didn't
blow they told us it was a 10 and it was really a 7 like that's my take on bird man yeah it was
kind of entertained the whole time i felt like it was missing something i don't know like it didn't
end with the message i was looking for maybe i didn't get it i don't know i liked it a lot i loved it i loved it i rank it
really high um probably a nine i don't know i i really enjoyed it it's sort of jerking itself
off a little bit with the theater stuff and i but i didn't mind that you know they're all they're
all actors who love their craft and it's a movie uh to some extent based in a world of that and i
liked it i liked his whole i like the that it was a little bit like what Michael Keaton probably actually went through
in his personal life.
Cause you know,
he was Batman back in the day,
back when Batman was whatever.
And then in the modern,
in the 21st century where Marvel and DC are these massive properties and
there's,
and who's going to be Batman is a giant story.
And,
and he's like, well, i i was i was batman
nobody really cared too much nobody gave a fuck yeah yeah he was a good batman he wasn't in the
iceman one was he no no he was in the tim burton batman the first one who was the one that got crippled crippled oh that's christian christopher reeve that's
that's superman oh well okay that reveals how little i know about taylor you're adorable
i don't know anything about superhero movies i know but i knew i knew i knew one of the something
men it's like well christian bale gets crippled in the third Batman movie.
So I jumped to that. But you're like, no, no, no.
Christopher Reeve. Yeah, yeah. Wait a minute. He actually
got crippled. Riding a horse.
If people don't know, Christopher Reeve was
into equestrian activities
and he fell off his horse and got
quadriplegic, I think.
Yeah. And it was like, it wasn't even
the... It was like from
the top of his mouth down.
It was so bad.
It was so fucked up.
And also, something about him,
like he was like a handsome Superman action star.
6'4", something, big dude.
It just seemed like a fall or far,
fall from grace.
Did I say that right?
A further fall from grace
than it would be for a regular dude.
Sure, sure.
If the guy who played Jimmy Olsen
got crippled, nobody would care.
Right.
And he died early.
I don't know how old he made it to.
Thank God.
Oh, these juxtaposed
pictures of him as Superman
and then him looking like
Professor X, but dead.
Oh, Professor X.
He wishes he was Professor X.
He looks so bad.
The South Parks with him in them.
Have you ever seen those where he's sucking on the fetuses?
Literally, he's cracking fetuses open.
He's getting stronger.
Getting the stem cells out.
Oh, my God.
That one I just linked to you, he looks like
the guy from Hannibal
who got fucked up.
Yeah, the verger.
Yeah, verger.
Exactly.
I just want to capture Hannibal
and fuck him up because
he ate my lips.
You'll be surprised what an 8-year-old boy
will do for a candy bar
that's good that's good
I like I haven't
seen it long enough to remember the quotes but that's good
they would
just do anything
for a candy bar
he's just sitting there
talking about his pedophilia but of course he's got
immunity he's just sitting there
right to the FBI agent's face
talking about fucking the kids at his camp
for children who need, I don't know,
wayward children or some shit.
I can't think of his first name, but Berger.
Yeah, he's fucking great.
Got a cool guy of the week competitor.
Ooh, I don't know.
The Maasai tribe's pretty cool.
We'll see.
Soccer star Kyle Walker
caught in prostitute sex party amid coronavirus
lockdown i'm listening his whole claim yeah so he brought in uh a 21 year old and a 24 year old and
a couple more he paid him around 2700 and uh and uh they went down at it during the coronavirus walk down.
And what I enjoy is he didn't like deny it at all.
He's like, hey, sorry, I'm being kind of a bad quarantine role model.
And that's it.
I'm calling nonsense for this guy to even be like pulled in.
Why is he in the New York Post right now?
I got nothing to write about?
Look, it's not like he had...
They literally call it
a sex party.
You can't have a party with three people.
That's not a party
to me. How many party do you need for it to be a
sex party? How many people do you need for a sex party?
I think you need five at least.
Five?
For a party?
You need at least five, and that's not much of a party. I think five is the number. For a party? For a party.
You need at least five, and that's not much of a party.
I'd say a party, double digits, a gathering, nine or less, and then a threesome, three.
Five people, I think, I'm with Kyle in terms of a party, right?
You can't have a party with less than five people.
Otherwise, it's something else, a get-together, a dinner, or whatever.
Yeah, it's a double date.
But a sex party. For for me that number goes down i think three people might be a sex party that's a three-way it's just that's a standard little group sex operation all right
there's nothing it's not even unusual right like three three he's got two girls brazilian by the
way i'd like to see these young ladies i'd like to see
these young ladies he brought on board i'd be more worried about the zika virus from them than
anything wait there's four where's the it's uh kyle walker a male friend and two girls oh all
right well that's sex that's more of a sex party then if if we got if we're swipping if we're
swapping partners or something like that i i think that may in fact be a sex party than if if if we got if we're swipping if we're swapping partners
or something like that i i think that may in fact be a sex party you swayed me i've been swaying okay
i've been swaying so i i linked this i haven't watched it i don't know it's if it's funny
but the the title stood out to me it's ugandan policemen's epic rant on people roaming around
and if it's anything like kenya's response hopefully it'll be funny
i'm interested are you guys ready yeah it's not we can quit it ready set play let me tell you one
thing i am not going to be nice to some of you motherfuckers listen to me listen to me i am not going to be nice to some of you
motherfuckers let me tell you we have a pandemic coronavirus is a pandemic okay parents can you
fucking get your kids out from the street it's fucking annoying some of you motherfuckers you
have your kids out there and it's fucking 9 p.m i just cannot understand what the fuck is going on with some of you.
For God's sake.
Some of your kids are there.
They are catching disease.
Some of your kids are there.
They are distributing the disease.
You fucking need to go get your kid.
You know, grab their nuts.
Grab their nuts.
It's not nuts.
It's fucking annoying.
We have thousands of doctors that are dying for us today.
Doctors are sacrificing their life.
We have nurses who are dying for us today.
Okay?
So some of you motherfuckers, your kids are fucking at the park.
It's 9 p.m.
Some of you motherfuckers, you know, you're having your kids.
Your kids are out there at the beach.
They're fucking entertaining.
Can you fucking understand you have a state of emergency?
Some of your bastards are out there.
You're distributing your disease. I'm missing some of these words.
You're catching disease.
Can you fucking stay at home?
Let me tell you, when you move, coronavirus will move.
When you stay, the coronavirus will go away.
Can you fucking stay at home, motherfucker?
I just can't fucking understand this.
Some of you are fucking distributing your motherfucking disease out there.
I'm not going to deny to none of you motherfuckers.
Stay at home.
Stay at home.
We have nurses who are sacrificing diet. We have nurses who are sacrificing there!
We have doctors who are fucking sacrificing there!
Some of you motherfuckers are just running on the street just like a motherfucker!
There's some of you sacrificing there.
It's fucking annoying!
Stay at home for God's sake, Jesus Christ!
I'm just going to understand what the fuck is wrong with some of you parents!
Go and get your fucking kids!
Grab them on their legs!
Stab them! Beat them up! Grab grab them on their legs beat them up
was his finger on the trigger did he has poor firearm safety the gun was unloaded
so what we've learned this evening is if we want to get this quarantine under control,
we need some
Masahi tribe
Kenyans and some fucking
Ugandan policemen.
Bring them over here.
Throw them by their nuts.
Throw them inside.
Yeah, that guy may have...
I don't know.
I don't know. He didn't actually smack anyone i'm
still giving it to the tribesman going around whipping people he's still cool guy of the week
but this guy's still like the dad whipping the pedophile's ass that's good but just the sheer
shock of those kenyans getting smacked was hilarious i'm a big fan of the guy who threw
the sex party during the current pandemic quarantine wow we are split a three-way split leave a comment below with who
is the actual cool guy of the week is it the pedophile beater upper is it the ugandan policeman
is it the messiah tribe is it what did you say again kyle what was your suggestion his was the
the pedophile pedophile beater oh pedophile mine was the um the guy who threw the sex party with
the two prostitutes in the body. The sex party guy.
That's who it is.
Yeah.
Kyle Walker.
I got some Patreon questions.
Oh, yeah.
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Kyle, what do you got?
Some of you have learning disabilities.
I'll suck your dick.
Will you?
Sure.
This one's for Kyle.
As a complete stoner myself, I'm curious.
What was your preferred way to burn was?
I like the lingo.
I'm a joint man myself
um definitely uh definitely concentrate right like definitely concentrate like uh wax or shadow
or something like that off like a titanium nail with a nice percolating bubbler to cool everything
off and we throw some ice in there it's nice if it's 24 27 inches long something like that because it is so so harsh um yeah joints man if you're smoking a lot of joints a day you're
gonna be coughing so much that's so much like actual like paper being burnt and plant matter
being burnt uh like going into your lungs like like that wouldn't be for me like like like i
don't even like joints period because they are they they can be a little harsh. Um, blunts are even worse, even
more harsh in my opinion. Like I'm not opposed to either of those things, but if I, if I was going
to like take a hit and be like, Oh, I'm a little stone now. But if you're talking about being like
an all day stoner, that's kind of how you described yourself. Um, I can't imagine being like that with
joints. with with
wax it's like you're i feel like you're doing less damage to get more high if that makes sense like
probably not good to put anything superheated into your lungs it definitely isn't so like the
safest way would obviously be to like have one of those evapes or something like that where it's
cool going into your system or do edibles but i like to smoke and i liked uh i really like
concentrate because you're getting so much bang for your buck so much bang for like into your system or do edibles but i like to smoke and i like to i really like concentrate
because you're getting so much bang for your buck so much bang for like the discomfort because you
know it's it's pretty uncomfortable like taking a hit of that stuff if you're not really used to it
you're gonna cough a lot your eyes are glasses tears the way to go. I think you're all being kind of
lightweights. That's why I inject my
marijuana palliants.
Just fucking
throw them in the blender.
Put them in the magic bullet.
Add some water. Put them in a syringe.
It looks like pesto.
It looks like pesto.
You got that turkey baster syringe.
Just filling it up with pesto.
The risky thing about what Kyle's thinking. Injectable devil's lettuce. some pesto yeah you got that turkey baster just filling it up with pesto if you're not doing the
risky thing about what kyle's like injectable devil's lettuce and well not necessarily risky
but like if you like i have friends who smoke nothing but those like hyper concentrated pens
yeah you know where you put uh wax in there and then it like melts it down and you take a puff
and they are like if they're at a party or something and someone's like dude i got a joint
or oh i'm gonna pack a bowl with flour they'll literally be like yeah no i'm not gonna waste
your weed because my tolerance is so high that i would need to smoke all of that and probably two
more to get where i need to go and so that seems like like for that reason it seems like like the
optimal thing to do is just smoke flour out of glass.
Like keep your tolerance with it.
I don't know.
You know more than I do.
Well, it depends on what you're going to smoke, right?
Like, like it depends on the level, how much you're going to smoke because you do build
a tolerance.
It's probably, it's most economical to be taking tolerance breaks for one thing, at
least, you know, maybe every two weeks, take, take at least three or four days off or something
like that to kind of keep your tolerance in check.
Maybe every month take a week or two off and you and you'd really be saving some money
but i don't know it would you nailed it what you said with like but the same is true with the flour
like if you just keep smoking more and more and more flour you can get to the point where you
need to smoke the entire bowl and then two bowls back to back and then three bowls back to back
and it's like shit three bowls back to back doesn't do it i'm just coughing my lungs up but i'm not even that stoned really i don't know with
the concentrate you're smoking like 90 something percent pure thc and you can you can decide how
much you want you know get your get your get your dabber and just put a twirly what you can put a
fucking gram on that motherfucker and just keep going and going and going and that's gonna get anybody high the the look of a dab rig especially with that torch on it
yeah very intimidating it's a little intimidating someone who's like you know i kind of like just uh
just regular pot you're like regular kind not the really scary kind with the torch. I pulled out the apparatus and Taylor's like, could you help me do this?
I'm like, yeah, I'll do the hard part.
Kyle literally did.
We were on that trip and he pulled out this fucking Rube Goldberg machine that's a hookup.
And I had to have him help me out with it in Colorado where I was
just like, I, I don't know what to do, but I know I'm going to get, and it was one of those. I still
remember. I remember because you were telling me like, now don't hit this. Like you would have
bong and you started putting it in there. And I started hitting it. Like I would have bong and I
got, and you're like, okay, maybe a little too much maybe a little too much and that was that was the hit that we went back we sat at that folding table and we got our magic
cards out and that was when fucking uh maybe chiz asked me what trample meant and i had that like
slow down brain thing where i'm like it means that the damage runs over whatever the toughness of the creature
attack is.
And in my head it was like that slow.
And then like,
like a,
like a movie,
like,
like in saving private Ryan,
when he's walking around picking up the arms and then something goes,
snaps back to reality.
Then I was good to go.
It was like,
man,
that was pretty neat.
We gotta get off the beach. got to get off the beach!
We've got to get off the beach!
That's what it was.
And then once I was off the beach, I was like, okay,
now I'm feeling wonderful and I can do what I need to do.
But that was too much pot for me.
Yeah, it's real strong.
And that's why it can be kind of economical.
Like if you're not a regular...
I was high for six hours after that hit.
My tolerance was on another level I know
30-40 minutes and it's like we really need to
pack that bad boy up again huh boys
and everybody's looking at me all glassy eyed
what
animal
did we smoke 20 minutes ago or 3 days ago
I don't remember
it's so fucking potent it's so fucking potent you gotta
be careful with it it could be dangerous i guess i mean you're not gonna like od or anything but
but you'll you'll have a bad time yeah yeah i don't know i never had a bad time smoking it
but um people have a bad time with pot sometimes right there's such a thing as too high which i don't get i don't i don't know but it like sounds like too rich or too good looking or you know too high
i don't know but yeah it's it's like it's like that part of your brain that's normally like
locked into the bowl of your cranium and programming thing things it's like it fell
and tipped over and it's dangling out the back of your head. There's just a couple wires keeping it
connected to your spinal cord and you're just
like, now operating
at 4% power.
That'll do.
That'll do. I can do 4%.
Okay.
Good comparison. It'd be like
being too... Well, it's not as intense as being
too drunk, but being too drunk.
I'm sure during a drinking episode in the past what do there have been
at least slivers of time during the episodes where you're like man i'm feeling pretty good
i'm feeling nice i'm feeling good more of this would make me feel more better and then and then
another bottle of wine or whatever it was you drank that one time and you were like oh i if i could kill myself i would um i just i don't want to be so it's kind
of like that so you're right there's a perfect amount of drunk that's just fun and brightens
the mood social lubricant everything's enjoyable and and boring things are more fun right that
there's a proper level of drunk there. More drunk is also fun.
Maybe you're sloppy.
Maybe you're being dumb
and uninteresting to people around you,
but you inside are having a good time.
The problem with me is that more drunk
also coincides with really sick.
And I have a hard time,
I've never been good at getting that happy level of drunk that doesn't feed into sick. I have a hard time. I've never been good at getting that
happy level of drunk that
doesn't feed into sick.
Even a happy level, I
rarely ever spend any time
in the good zone without
finding time in the sick.
It sucks for you because the only time
you ever drink is when we're
doing drinking episodes.
I haven't had a i'm sure you could
the last you could sit down and have a dinner with jackie say for instance and you're having
your chicken and you have a nice glass of wine and you have a glass or two of wine and you would
get to that like i am feeling good but you'd never experience that because you don't have to drink a
third or fourth glass like all of your drinking is like, oh, Woody, are you in that fun time?
Well, guess what?
We're ringing the bell.
You got to drink again.
Yeah.
It's always.
Yeah.
You're in a hot rod.
Just, oh, look, that was the fun time.
And there we're going.
Yeah.
There it is up there in the rear view.
See you later.
The show kicks off with like.
Head to drop town.
Let's right off the top.
Just get past Woody's fun zone.
Right? Yeah. Let's all do that that would be a fun little experiment for you like you and jackie buy a bottle of wine which
never happens in your home you agree to split it over dinner and you just kind of see where you are
we may have never purchased a bottle of wine in our married life.
That's what I'm saying.
It would be a fun experiment.
I mean, it happened obviously with the sponsor, but yeah, we don't.
I don't know.
If I go to an alcohol store, it feels like a sex shop to me.
An alcohol store.
That's how you know when he's not full of shit.
You just call it the alcohol store.
Because of the alcohol.
Whenever I go to the marijuana emporium lost i'm just like oh there's all these like bad drinks around here you know like
that's how i feel when i walk into like total wine or something and i'll i don't know anything
about wine really i know that i like red more than white but like i'll be walking through one
of the 50 aisles trying to find a bottle of wine. And someone will be like, do you need any help, sir?
And no matter what I'm looking for, I always feel compelled to be like, oh, no, I'm fine.
When in reality, I'm like, what does port mean and where do I find it?
What color is that?
What's a good brand?
But a port is a dessert wine after dinner as you're watching.
It's the opposite of starboard.
Yes, it is. A starboard so yes it is a
star i have another one uh what piece of media that you remember very fondly as a child but
you've since revisited only to realize that it's not at all how you remember it similar to how
taylor went to chucky cheese for pizza now if i may jump in because i've been considering it for
the last couple minutes man there's a movie that I loved when I was
five years old. It was My World.
And that movie is He-Man
and the Masters of the Universe
starring Dolph Lundgren.
And what's her name from Friends?
The brunette. What's her name?
Courtney Cox, maybe.
Courtney Cox. She's in there too.
Might be her first role.
As a kid, I was like, I had the He-Man sword.
And like when you hit stuff with it, it made sound effects.
And He-Man would go, I have the power of the universe.
And I would do that at five years old. I'd be on top of the dining room table. I have the power of the universe. Mom would be like, get that off then. I'd be on top of the dining room table mom would be like get that off then i'd be like
cracker with the fucking sword i love that shit those swords were like sold out that christmas
it was a big fucking deal he-man was huge uh he-man toys came before the movie if you can
even envision a scenario like that they made toys and they were like hey we should make a
movie about these toys really not the other way around yeah so i went and i watched that
shit like a year ago i watched he-man and the masters of the universe it is an abomination
of a movie it is awful did you watch it repeatedly as a kid i'm asking in a roundabout way did your
parents have to sit through that movie repeatedly
is there well i have my own tv in my room and like vhs and stuff like that and there were movies that
like i watched repeatedly over and over problem child was one of those uh i i love that movie
about the little uh you know kid who was just being a real piece of shit um but but no and you know things
like ghostbusters and uh teenage mutant ninja turtles those are the ones i watched on repeat
this one i probably watched like four or five times a year as a kid like when i was five or
something that's not even that much for a kid yeah yeah like there are kids who like watch the
same shit every day when they get home from school you know they'll re-watch the same movie a hundred times but it's awful it's awful looking
and it's i kind of feel bad that it's awful i was like i wanted to be as good as what i remembered
as a five-year-old and it's just not yeah i feel something for me like that was blank check
that movie do you remember blank Blank Check? Yep.
I just checked.
It came out in 1994.
And so I obviously saw it later because I was like three years old.
And when I saw that and it was like someone gave... I have so few memories of the movie itself.
When someone gave this kid a check, a blank check,
he took it on his computer and typed in like different amounts onto it
and was like
he took a million dollars and then he took a printed out check with a million dollars on it
and cashed it and within like 30 minutes of the movie he's got butlers he's got a fucking slide
coming out of his house he's got bounce houses he's got cotton candy machines and i remember
watching that at like five and six being like this this guy's got it figured out. And then later it was like, wait, you can't do that.
You can't take a check, scan it, put your own information in, in Times New Roman,
and then take it to the bank. It was like a very specific scenario that allowed that to go down.
Like the account, like the account that the money came out of,
they had like stolen that money.
And the bankers were expecting someone to come and like get that money that
day.
They're like,
don't worry.
Someone's coming to pick up the cash.
And then this kid showed up and he's like,
you,
he's like,
yep,
it's me.
Sir.
Um,
he like calls the guys.
He's like, your agent is here.
You're sure you want me to give the money to him?
You give him that fucking money.
I don't want to talk about this again.
He's like, all right, all right.
He's like, here's your million dollars, little boy.
But yeah, that movie as a kid was so cool.
Because I remember in kindergarten, like a million dollars to a child is so that's such a number that it doesn't make any sense.
It's just it's just infinite.
It's infinite to a child.
The same way that I remember talking to a couple of girls and a couple of guys in my kindergarten class.
We're all fucking five or whatever.
five or whatever and a topic of conversation was like do you think so-and-so's family is worth a hundred dollars and we'd be like
you think we'd be going to this school if they had a hundred dollars to spend
no there's no way you know ruth's parents have a hundred dollars and they'd be like
to do you think your parents have $100?
I'm like, probably not, man.
$100?
A full... Like, that's how, you know, how it is.
Like, how money works.
No, that sounds a little retarded to me.
Well, it wasn't just me.
We didn't...
Well, when you're in the special ed class,
I'm sure a lot of that goes around.
This doesn't fit this...
Like, you think your family's worth $100?
He's like, I am not...
I don't think...
Doesn't fit the question entirely, but Star Wars was the movie I came up with. He didn't make your family's worth $100. He's like, I don't think what you're saying.
Doesn't fit the question entirely, but Star Wars was the movie I came up with. As a child, I remember Star Wars being about space cowboys.
An action movie with sword fighting and starship battles and the womp rats or whatever that they shot.
He was training his shield womp rats.
That's why he was so good at hitting the exhaust port
on the Death Star.
And it's a real action movie.
As an adult, I watch it.
My goodness,
they spent a lot of time
about bureaucratic inefficiencies,
leadership being unable
to make commanding calls,
Senate's disagreeing
and voting or something.
The action is actually few
and far between in Star Wars.
I won't shit
on Star Wars for the hundredth time.
Everybody knows how I feel about Star Wars. I think it's bad.
I think it's bad.
You know something that holds up? I saw
Lord of the Rings, I guess, when I was like 11 or 12.
That was 19 years ago.
19 years old, that movie.
It's amazing. Have you guys paid attention to Valorant at all?
Don't know what that is.
I know it's a game because I've seen people streaming it,
but I don't know what it's about.
Okay, so Valorant is a game.
It's very similar to CSGO.
People say it's a cross between CSGO and Overwatch
because it's kind of cartoony graphics.
And the cartoony graphics work.
I'm not a deep expert in this,
but like the smoke in CSGO has like funny edges
and sometimes one guy can see better than the other one.
In Valorant, it's smoke,
but it's very defined where the smoke starts and stops.
It's like a force shield of contained smoke.
And it works well for a competitive shooter
where you need it to be really balanced and accurate.
The movement looks just like CSGO.
The crosshairs on the screen, it's precise.
It's a competitive shooter, and it's big right now.
I remember Kyle introduced us to, is it Apex Legends?
Is that the game?
Yeah.
And he was like, this thing is a big story right now
because this many people are playing it
in such a short period of time.
Valorant has had 1.2
million people were watching it on Twitch
concurrently. Wow.
Yeah, and this I couldn't find the number
right, but I think someone told me one
of the streams individually had 667,000
people watching it.
Are these Asian
streamers? Like is it Pox and Korea
or something? i don't know
where they were coming from it's in closed beta right now so the only way to really learn about
this game is to see other people play it on twitch you can watch 856 000 viewers right now
on twitch yeah that's really big right like what's call of duty by comparison so the big
the second biggest is call of duty war zone and that's 129 000 okay yeah
so seven eight times bigger and um uh yeah so it's just a big thing now people are asking me
if i'm gonna play i don't know it doesn't look like it's well suited it looks like it's for
people whose mouse and keyboard skills are elite that looks like the kind of person who play well
at it but um uh I don't know.
It's interesting. It's in closed beta right now.
They're just testing it, getting some feedback
from the streaming all-stars.
And it has everybody's
attention. It may replace CSGO
as the competitive shooter
for the next 15 years,
perhaps.
We'll see. Well, there is one channel. I guess
Summit1G. Maybe that's the company that made it. Summit's a streamer. He's very popular. Oh, okay. Well, there is one channel, I guess Summit 1G, maybe that's the company that made it.
Summit's a streamer. He's very popular.
Oh, okay. Well, he's got
271,000 people
watching him right now. Christ.
It's made by Riot Games
who's made it. And a lot of people
call it a CSGO ripoff. I don't know
if that's fair. All games are derivative of each other.
It looks a lot like CSGO.
But cartoony, right? It's like an Overwatch CS csgo ish it's a little more cartoony um not like full-on overwatch mode
your summit won't mind if we pimp his stream right this guy does not need any pimping holy
fuck i guess i'm just you know we're gonna show his stream 4.78 million followers on twitch
actually playing right now?
He's in a menu or something?
He's in a menu.
He's got over a quarter million people in here.
I'm going to see if anyone's playing right now.
That's not my
cup of tea,
as you would say.
I don't really like CSGO.
I've never really been into that.
It seems like everybody else had such a head start on on that game i like when a new game comes out and it kind of does its own thing
uh the way apex legends and the way pub g did when it first came and i felt and even the way uh
tarkov has seemed to feel like like tarkov's not all that different in the gunplay than a lot of
the other games that i played like if anything it it's much more forgiving. I'm told Tarkov is a little Arma-like.
I didn't play Arma, so I don't know.
Yeah, I played a little bit of Arma,
and I played a lot of the mods,
like Overpock and stuff like that.
A little bit.
I think the gun plays a lot better, honestly, in Tarkov.
Arma always felt real weird to me.
You didn't have good feedback
of what your weapon looked and felt
like with what was actually happening down range but having played so much cod and so much pub g
and even a little bit of um apex legends like the gunplay in tarkov has always felt kind of easy
not easy because everybody can do the same thing as me but like not all that difficult as far as recoil
control because i've played some games where recoil control is so fucking hard it's so fucking
hard and rust it's so hard and rust that's the hardest gunplay i've ever had i feel like in
hard cough it's not controllable you can get a gun that has less recoil and and do well if you
have a gun like a scav gun that has tons of recoil and blasts all over,
it'll shoot across like three body widths.
And it's not a thing that you can control with your mouse.
It's just that wide.
Are you disagreeing?
I feel like you are in your...
No, not necessarily.
I think you can control it to some extent,
but a lot of the guns, no, you can't control it.
And you're much better off hitting the headshot with the shitty gun
than you are trying to control the recoil and hit the guy five, six times.
Because especially if you've picked up a shitty gun in raid,
the ammo is often shitty too.
And so it won't even matter if you can control the recoil.
They might tank five, six.
They might tank ten shots.
With the low-end gun the meta becomes
full auto is for when you're standing right next to them single fire is the only way to
hit a kill a guy from across the map because full auto across the map
literally will go anywhere there's no telling yeah yeah there was a that's why pub g i talked
over you for a second yeah i wanted to say that we're watching dr lupo right now on his twitch
stream just to give you an idea
of what Valorant looks like in case you've never seen it.
And I was hoping that if I pimped him and said kind things,
he would never copyright strike us.
Go follow him.
Yeah.
Yeah, I don't know.
That game doesn't look like it's for me.
In fact, it's just not.
That's not something that I would enjoy.
I'm guessing it's round-based like CSGO 2
and maybe there's a currency system where you're like upgrading your weapons and
gear as you go yes and yes they made an interesting improvement to the currency system like if you're
crushing it and i'm not then we don't even need discord i can request a weapon say hey i wish i
had this and you might say all right yeah you know i'd rather have woody with the proper gun than just watch him continue to suck and not help his team um and uh and there's there's shields you can buy
different levels but on the screen right now is an example of what like a smoke effect might look
like you can see how it's really on and off and the same for everyone looking at it there's nothing
subtle about where the edges are and competitive guys seem to think that's a good idea would you like me to yeah it definitely is i got it um so uh i don't we'll see if it replaces csgo i think
it has a chance and i find it interesting that like am i wrong csgo is the middle of the competitive
shooter world and it has been for a long time other games have come and gone, but CSGO has always been the big deal, I think.
It might...
You know,
there will be games that are a big deal in my little world,
but it's like, then you find
out that, oh, this other game is 50
times bigger that you've never even heard of.
It has its own little community. So, I don't know.
I know CSGO has been a perennial
leader
as far as uh competitive and
players online and all that stuff whereas so many other things have come and gone so i don't know
these characters have different special abilities kind of overwatchy and uh it's like this guy does
what she has a bow and arrow that goes through a wall or this person has that's so crazy
and but they don't have grenades and if you think about it a throwable death that is a grenade just kind of a different
sort of superpower than these superpowers just because they look cartoony with lightning bolts
and such doesn't make them like way different than a grenade for example and the people who play it
say they're ultras or whatever they are the
alts are not the way people kill each other if you want to be dominant in this game it's about
clicking on the other guy's head yeah that's what i saw in the little bit i watched just a moment ago
right excuse me right now what i'd like to play is like a cooperative campaign
i wish there was something like that out i guess halo uh the first part of
that is out but that's not really what i want to do i don't want to replay something to play before
i'd like a completely new thing you know i'd like something that's either fantasy or sci-fi
with uh some rpg elements and cooperative campaign i'd like to do that i wish doom
were it was co-op campaign because doom was so much fun i beat it
two or three times or something like that multiplayer you when i last asked you it looks
very unbalanced um so it's not even so doom multiplayer you might think oh it's the doom
slayer versus a team of doom slayers and no it's a doom slayer versus demons, and human beings are playing as the demons.
But...
Does he have to try and beat a super powerful computer?
No.
No.
One person gets assigned as the king, the god.
You get to be the Doom Slayer guy, and then a couple of other players, they're playing as demons, and you're versing each other.
But the thing is, the Doom Slayer is incredibly powerful, and he has pretty much all of his abilities from the campaign. And the demons seem to be like
powered down quite a bit from what they were like in the game. So you really need a lot of teamwork
to be able to take him down. I think it's two demons that you're versing plus a bunch of AI
demons like mixed in. But I've only watched a little bit of it. So I'm a hundred percent on that and it just doesn't look like something i'd want to do you
think you're done with tarkov and even uh not playing um i'll probably wait till the next white
which i would guess is coming in a month maybe two yeah rumors too but yeah i feel like i beat it
you know i've done everything i can do um i i don't know like if there were some accomplishments
that i wanted to get it was you know i killed all the bosses i've i've i've like killed them
i've killed gluhar and all of his boys there's nothing new for you there basically there's
nothing new and i've got so much money that like losing doesn't really hurt me anymore i don't care
if i lose or win so there's no stakes anymore and that's what really makes that game a lot of fun to me is the stakes involved.
So when the wipe happens and I'm broke again and I've got eight bottles of water and 4 p.m. pistols and a bunch of bullshit ammunition and like one backpack that I hope I don't lose, it'll be a lot more fun again.
So I'll jump back on it when it wipes probably.
I'm approaching where you left off.
Are you level 44? Does that sound right? Sure. Something like that. it wipes probably. I'm approaching where you left off. Are you level 44?
Does that sound right?
Sure.
Something like that.
Something like that.
I'm 42.
And I'm enjoying this part of it as well.
Yeah, the anxiety and the fear and the,
oh my God, I hope I don't leave.
Or if I left with this stuff, it would be life changing.
That's kind of gone.
It's okay to die now
because I have enough money to stock the next character.
And I have 50 GPUs in my Bitcoin farm.
Imagine it could run Crysis.
So money's not a big problem.
But I also kind of like that.
There's another aspect of the game
where I get to play and just enjoy it
and run good weapons if I feel like running good web,
I can run any loadout I want.
I can have a meta OP one,
or I can do a budget run,
whatever I think will be more fun or maybe more stream worthy.
Yeah.
So I,
it's nice to play.
It's almost cod like,
you know,
where deaths aren't quite as painful.
There's something to be said for that.
Yeah.
So I, I'm definitely looking forward to the wipe.
Oh, and if the cultists launch,
if they launch a new thing,
I'll jump back on for that too.
Check it out.
Yeah.
If they throw something like big in,
game changing in,
I'll definitely come back for that.
Obviously the last thing they did
was change the weight system
and I don't like that.
I think they're going to retool that.
I hope so. Weird how slow it is i'm excited for the fucking uh new age of empires to come out at some point that'll be a
lot of fun i are you being sarcastic or would you play that no i'd be down for some real-time
strategy yeah yeah the two age of empires was so much fun like i can't wait for them to the
when's it due?
It's one of those things where it was a year ago I was talking about it and they still haven't set a date to my knowledge
and so it could be
even late this year or next year.
It's going to take forever to release
RTS games, which makes sense.
They're huge and complex.
I can't imagine
how much went into making Total War
Warhammer 2.
It's just bananas the
amount of little stats and the little every map has to be kind of balanced even though it's meant
to be kind of random like terrain it's just yeah i like strategy games a lot um and it doesn't
matter if it's real time or turn-based really i i like both i love civilization obviously you know and uh but i i also love um uh warhammer you know i
love warhammer a lot and when we played age mythology i love that shit that was that was
a ton of fun age mythology and warhammer have such good lore like that's why it's fun well i
guess age mythology lore is just ancient greek and roman and egyptian and norse gods and yeah
i don't think there were any Celtic stuff.
Yeah, pretty much.
No.
That would have been a great expansion pack
that would have thrown Thor and Odin
and all that in there.
Wasn't there?
No, they have that.
The ones that came with it
are Norse, Egyptian, Greek,
Oh, Norse is...
and Atlantean.
Yeah, that's a different thing.
Yeah.
Yeah, Celtic would be
whatever Irish people believe in.
I don't know
Druid, that sounds right
Leprechaun maybe
Leprechaun, General
They should have thrown
Christianity in there too
Like
Build your Christ
Get him in there, have him fucking
healing your troops up
Oh shit, Samson's about to hit the right
flank.
If you have Jesus, you don't need bridges.
They just march across.
Biblical total
war. That would be so cool.
Moses parts the waters.
Yeah, he forces troops
apart so he could sneak in a cavalry unit
and cause some carnage. That'd be cool.
Jesus gets everyone drunk. You thought. Take notes, Warhammer people.
You thought that was water, bitches?
Yeah.
We used to sing this song in Sunday school, and it was like,
Can your hero walk on water?
Can he make the blind man see?
And I'm just like, y'all need to read
some comics.
The answer's yeah.
You're an Aquaman asshole?
Come on.
Jesus can't shoot laser beams out of his eyes.
And see him fly once.
He couldn't even keep from getting killed.
Yeah.
It's regular people.
That's the way it goes.
I wanted to ask you this, Woody.
You always talk about your parents and everything.
You mentioned something about their...
I think it was either in private
or before it mentioned their response to Corona wasn't as intense as you would have liked like still
going to church and stuff does that sound right or are they definitely not going to church yeah
they're they're in the quarantine they're locked down properly right now yeah yeah they're not
going on cruises or any of that oh why not they are um exercising they go out my mother like
i guess there's a park where she can sit like
on a different bench than a friend and get a little walker dogs and my yeah we're on lockdown
and i'm sorry ride this bike go ahead we're on lockdown obviously in georgia and uh but one of
the things we can do is still like exercise so you can go jog you can uh you can go to the
the the gas station the bank uh the grocery store, the pharmacy, places like that.
But it's so open that I'm just like, why don't you just lie?
They pull you over and you're like, where are you heading?
Fucking grocery store.
Which one?
I don't know.
One of those up there.
The closest one.
Yeah, the closest one.
You just drove past that one.
The one that's down this way.
Their produce sucks.
I mean, it feels like you've got it out
no matter where they get you.
We've got a Maasai tribesman who doesn't believe you.
What?
Officer Montombo, we got a
troublemaker up here.
Oh, you bastard!
You want to grab him
by the nuts and pull him back inside.
It is after 9pm.
What the fuck?
He was so stuck on the time of day.
Why is quarantine more important than night?
I don't know.
I don't know.
If they're out after 9pm, it's got to be recreational.
I think that's what I take from it.
They're not working.
I think it's pretty tight watching our freedoms get taken away
in real time.
This isn't coming back.
With the Patriot Act, even george w's like yeah as soon as this is done we're gonna get rid of this nonsense no more of that it's like no
no no that was the first obama disappointment for me i thought that he would like reel back
some of the surveillance that was in the patriot act doubled down that was uh that was the thing i
didn't like yeah he he was the worst he's like
you know i was looking at the patriot act and not nearly comprehensive enough the worst so far
trump hasn't reeled it back at all it's getting worse right now i know he should he's not going
to none of them are going to they're adding more cameras and facial recognition so they can track
covid patients supposedly they're not going to
back it off if covid dies down that there's no way yeah they're never going to like eventually
track people for their online activity or their beliefs or you know things never conceivable
that won't be no they'll throw that power away as soon as it's out of usefulness uh yeah and i it
i have had this thought like it's almost good that it's out of usefulness. Yeah. And I have had this thought.
It's almost good that it's a Republican president
under Corona because
I just know they'd be beating the drum
of how the liberals are trying to control you
if the Democrats tried to quarantine you.
Whereas Fox News won't say the same.
Remember Emperor Obama signing executive orders?
You never hear that anymore, right?
Now it's okay to sign executive orders.
We celebrate it.
I only ever really heard that from Fox, like Fox clips.
But they don't say it about Trump.
But not for like CBS, NBC, ABC, MSNBC, CNN.
I agree.
It was just Fox fussing about executive orders.
And now no one's fussing about it.
They should be.
If Obama tried to quarantine people, they would go bonkers about it so i
thought that but now i'm like maybe we need a good bonkers every so often just so that
rights don't go away too quickly yeah it doesn't seem like there's any good solution for this
like we kind of and there are still people out there i wish that fucking guy bill mitchell
hadn't blocked me on twitter because he he's like this neocon fucking retard okay who like was doing that thing where he was like hey
and and uh mr medicare his twitter uh does his own we should get him on again because he's like
been anally following the whole corona thing like every little step of the way as he does
and this guy like the this the timeline of his tweets where it's like, there's only two people in the US with coronavirus.
We should be more freaked out about the flu.
And then fast forward two months and he's like, okay, so if fewer than 200,000 people die of coronavirus, can we just agree Trump is the greatest president of all time?
And it's like, how quickly you move, how quickly you move how quickly you move coronavirus
was real or not was a partisan issue at first so dumb yeah and it was like it's not a partisan
issue i i don't i don't think early on that i recognized how big a deal it was but i'm not
supposed to be smart yeah i tell dick jokes i don't think any of us did on youtube but it's
not our responsibility to recognize it right right there were people who really knew bill burr north carolina senator
selling his like cruise and hotel stocks it was their responsibility to sound the alarm instead
of just dumping their investments those people are not going to get in trouble they should be
in fucking jail yeah all those those politicians who were dumping stocks and passing little
notes around to each
other, they should be in fucking jail.
Most of them would get re-elected. I think Bill Burr's
not going to run again.
It's not Bill Burr. What's his name?
Is it William Barr?
Maybe that's it. Bill
Barr. Or is that the
Trump's new
Attorney General?
His name is Richard Byrne.
Richard Byrne.
A mistake.
When I say a name,
it's a layup. It's meant for someone
else to finish the score.
You knew what I was saying.
Not a layup, an alley-oop.
It's like a volleyball. He's the guy that just goes...
I said it.
What do you set?
You guys do the set
you guys do the spike
that's how we do naming around it
oh man
I was expecting there to be more early release movies
I kept hearing oh this is coming out
and I keep getting on Amazon
and scrolling through the movies that are available
for rental I'll tell you what I'm about to watch though
it's this Nick Cage movie
it's Purple Aliens or something let me find out what this is called scrolling through the movies that are available for rental. I'll tell you what I'm about to watch, though. It's this Nick Cage movie.
Purple Aliens or something. Let me find out what this is called.
Nick Cage, Purple Alien movie.
What's it fucking called?
Yeah, there's going to be some early releases
but I don't recognize
any of these.
Amazon Prime just released something.
I keep seeing
it in Twitch ads.
Is it Good Omens maybe?
No.
Are you guys not seeing it too?
Ah, someone knows exactly what I'm talking about out there.
Amazon is advertising on Twitch this new series to watch.
I wish I could find it.
Yeah, I don't know.
This Nick Cage movie I'm about to watch it's called color out of space
uh it i'm hoping it's good i'm hoping it's good he makes so many bad movies that you never know
but i'm hoping for a mandy like experience definitely not as gritty and insane but it
looks uh looks like there's aliens of some kind and people are going crazy and then it gets bloody
in the last third i think that's the next thing I'm going to watch.
Although I need to get into
Ozark, obviously.
Ozark is sick. I might try to get that under my belt
before next week's show so we can discuss it
a bit.
You tear through shows, so you can definitely do it.
Yeah, not a lot going on.
You kind of got nothing but time here.
Yeah.
The yard guy is coming to cut my grass tomorrow i was like he's like i was like could you come tomorrow he's like yeah i'll be nice to see
you you won't see me i'll wait from inside i'll be i'll be peering through the blinds after i pay
you on paypal you got like a broomstick holding yeah yeah i'm so i'm so worried
about getting this thing and like having a poor reaction to it yeah because like i don't want to
i don't want to get it because a then i've got to be quarantined for my fam i'm hoping as soon
as this thing's over i can i haven't seen my dad in you know a couple months now i miss him i want
to hang out with him uh you know i like having him come out here and spend the weekend
at least once a month. We usually watch a UFC event
and I cook a dinner and we have a good time hanging out together. I haven't been able to do that.
I would hate to get this thing and be in the hospital
potentially. Maybe I'm Idris Elba and I'm just like,
I got the sniffles a little. Or maybe I'm idris idris elba right and i'm just like i got the sniffles a little
or maybe i'm like one of those like olympic athletes that's got this thing and it's like
oh yeah he's lost 25 of his lung function he'll never jog again yeah maybe you're johnson in the
icu yeah you don't want yeah you never know how you're going to react to this thing it seems hit
or miss it seems like there's definitely something different about some people. I don't know if it's your immune system or your general health.
Have you watched Chris Cuomo?
Yeah, Cuomo's doing a great job, I think, at what he's doing.
His press conferences seem quite informative.
You might be thinking of his brother, Andrew.
Yeah, yeah.
So he is getting good reviews.
But Chris is the reporter on CNN.
So they're brothers.
And Chris is now quarantined in his house.
He has coronavirus.
Yeah.
And he's kind of been detailing what his experience with corona has been.
When I see Chris, he looks really good.
He's always like a really fit guy if people don't know him.
He's older than me, but he's fitter than me.
And so he looks good, but he's like, man,
I learned what rigors are.
It's spelled R-I-G-O-R-S like it'd be rigors.
But it's this,
when you're freezing cold
but your body's hot
and your teeth are chattering
from a flu.
Oh yeah,
I've heard that.
He chipped a tooth.
He chattered so much.
Right?
Like you,
I was like,
sure, sure,
I know what that is.
Oh, wait.
How violent is it when you fucking break teeth from these Rigors?
Violent enough to get great ratings.
And he looks good, and he's like, the beast comes out at night.
At night is when he suffers the most.
And apparently he's going to be okay, but it was a rough experience for him.
I don't want that.
That sounds awful.
Has he been getting in the sauna like Rogan told us,
getting those shock proteins?
I don't think so.
I don't think so.
Well, there you go.
Look, I've been eating 18 pounds of elk a day.
I take four to five saunas an hour.
Does it make you aggressive, Kyle?
I'm so aggressive. I'm so aggressive. I raped a mailbox five saunas an hour. Does it make you aggressive, Kyle? I'm so aggressive.
I'm so aggressive. I raped
a mailbox yesterday, all right?
I'm incredibly aggressive.
It wasn't even my mailbox. Sorry, neighbors.
I sauna
continuously. I stay in
this room right now, 145 degrees.
You can't tell.
I'm cooking
slowly, low and slow
how hot is this sauna?
I don't know
I would guess 120
125
hot tub is like 104 tops
no
you can get higher than that
not on the hot tubs that I've owned
it locks at like 104
maybe 105 but definitely not 106 yeah I've definitely been 110 in hot tubs that I've owned. It locks at like 104. Maybe 105, but definitely not 106.
Yeah, I've definitely been 110 in hot tubs.
Whew!
I get into 105 and I'm like, oh, fuck.
I have no idea.
I just thought it was hotter.
I thought it was like 120 or something.
Like, I don't know.
I've never...
When would you start to cook?
Like 180?
It depends if you stayed in there long enough.
I don't think it'd have to be 180
like like like i think my slow cooker like when i put it on low and slow and like cook a pot roast
for eight hours i can still stick my finger in there for a second you know it's just and it
reminds me of a hot tub a little bit i don't know i feel like you just sit there you fall asleep and
you're just you're just sloughing off into a stew. Oh, that'd be so gross.
I've had so many hot tub incidents.
I got in that thing with my, I just had gotten a brand new, like nice.
I use Androids because I prefer them, but I had gotten a nice Android.
I don't remember which one.
Don't ask me. Maybe the S8 Edge when it first came out, something like that.
Expensive-ish, like more than 500, less than a grand.
And I hopped into the hot tub
and like when i would get in the hot tub i had a whole process right like i want my accessories
i'd have a laptop set up so i could watch some netflix yeah sure i'd have like not just a glass
of whatever i was drinking but like i'd bring a pitcher so i wouldn't have to get back out like
not necessarily beer or anything but but like whatever like diet water or something yeah water i wanted to stay
hydrated i'm in here for the long haul i got my phone i got some weed i got my lighter i got a
towel or two towels i'm keeping my hands dry so i can keep operating the weed i get in and i'm
getting my accessories set up i we had a really nice hot tub it's like a
six or eight person i don't remember getting situated got my fucking tunes on got netflix
propped up and i'm like all right now let me get my phone out so i know if anybody wants to
oh god no it's in my pocket it's in my pocket and i'm I've been sitting in the hot tub for at least a good minute or two.
And I just pull it.
It's completely ruined.
Completely ruined.
I've done that.
Yeah.
Very upsetting.
Similar thing.
I was,
I was in the gym working out,
home gym working out.
And then I,
I like to go straight from there to the pool.
There's this like,
I'm just beat,
exhausted.
I do legs at the end and I can hardly move and I just
kind of tip over into the pool and the splash is rejuvenating and for whatever reason that day I
was like you can sort of like stir the bottom with your hands and make it cloudy make it pull
cleaner make the filter catch what would otherwise settle I did that for like 10 minutes and realized I had my phone the whole time.
Yeah.
It's not even a close call.
This fucker's done.
Yeah, I didn't bother doing any of the
standard like, oh, let's take the battery out, throw it in
a bucket of rice. It's like, alright,
well, let me just throw this in the trash can. Alright,
it's in there. And tomorrow we're going
to the phone store. If you go to
the Apple store,
they're like,
oh, we see by this color-coded something.
This has been exposed to water, hasn't it?
I'm like, maybe a little.
Yeah.
It was a little humid, I guess.
Stock covered by AppleCare.
They should waterproof phones.
That's the next technological step.
I bet there are phones that are water-resistant. i should be able to go scuba diving with that motherfucker scuba diving is a lot but give me 10 meters there's a code i forget what it is like ipc7
or something and samsung used to advertise their phones not ask about scuba diving in a fish tank
they put it and you'd see the bubbles come up and the fish swimming around and it was that level of
waterproof and now the new new iPhones meet that same level.
So if you jump in and realize you have it,
you're probably okay.
That's, I don't know what just happened.
Did you just play music, Taylor?
No.
Oh, could I?
I didn't hear a thing.
Something in my browser then.
I don't know.
Maybe something auto-played.
Anyway, something,
now if you just notice it quickly after you jump in you're okay
otherwise you're not was it you kyle i saw that look i didn't touch a thing i like my hands are
off you can't hear anything anyway because i use both cups i didn't hear anything like no sound
came out of mine i was looking at a tweet that came from uh it sounded like it was native i think
i did it i'm sorry to tell your story oh no it was it was it's not even a story it was native. I think I did it. I'm sorry. Tell your story. It's not even a story.
It was just CNN. I saw a tweet and I was
scrolling to look at it.
It was like, a 104-year-old man
survives coronavirus.
Interview here. And you just see
a guy who's just wasting
away in a mask sitting
there. I was hoping it would take
me. Why not me, God?
God just knows it's me again. Why take me why not me god knows it me again why not me
god forgot about me my wife died in 1979 of old age
i don't know why do you know what it's like to live 40 years alone
it's pretty tits the first 30, but Christ, that's gotten horrible.
I haven't fucked since for the beat was popular.
I've never understood those people who get lonely or homesick.
And don't get me wrong.
I've got a strong connection to a lot of my family. I really like hanging out with them and being with other people
and hanging out in person with people
and going on all sorts of little activities and adventures.
I like doing stuff i do i do i'm not i'm not an i would consider myself not an introvert
necessarily or an extra you're like an extrovert by choice right you prefer you enjoy both the
extremes maybe yeah i really do i really do enjoy both of the extremes but like i've never experienced
loneliness while living alone for extended periods of time,
like months.
And I'm like,
like there was a time like during,
um,
there was a time when they were trying to like drag Kitty into my legal stuff all because she made soaps in,
in the basement and they were trying to act like she was some sort of
goddamn distribution network.
And,
and to an extent,
that's how they got me to agree to the plea deal that I agreed to is like,
I didn't want to get,
I didn't want them dragging her into any of my stuff because it was bullshit.
It's like, I'm a guy who smokes a little weed.
I'm not a fucking drug dealer.
I've never sold weed.
I've never shipped it or trafficked it or any of that fucking nonsense.
So like, shit, I lost my train of thought.
Help me back.
Kitty being alone, loneliness, extrovert extremes introvert oh so like to distance
myself from her so that
she would be less apt to get drug into
my nonsense I knew that I
couldn't live with her after
she moved to Atlanta so I moved
out of that place and you probably noticed on
PKA I was like hopping around
like I'd be at one place for like
two weeks and then I'd be in another place and you were like where are you at now i was like i was just like i'm
adventuring i'm in a different room of the same house i'm adventuring pay no attention to the
fact that all the decorations are completely different and clearly from a different era
but i was just i spent probably three months there maybe four months like just
hopping from airbnb to airbnb doing like long-term rentals it was awesome it was awesome it was so
much fun like like i would get i would get full houses or full apartments wherever i went and i
would have like this three bedroom house four bedroom house sometimes it was an older house
that it was like it was kind of cool to see the way that like a nice pimped out house was in 95
it's like oh look the the thermostats here oh look there's a there's a hi-fi controller on the wall
over here like all sorts of silly shit like that like the sunken living rooms that you would see like that 70s show yeah yeah sure 70s even let's go like stuff like that or or i loved that period
of of time because i was like i was just traveling from one place to another packing everything up
and it every all the possessions that i had was like it was like this desk this monitor my pc
all my gaming setup my gear and everything all
the clothes that i had everything would go in the same cardboard boxes into the back of my pickup
truck and on to a new apartment or house or whatever why did you have to move it seemed like
you could have stayed in one of these places longer availability would be one thing and also
like price would change it was like oh shit i can get like i can get this house it's just as
nice i was always looking for better internet too i always wanted to make sure i had stable
internet for the show um but i never knew how long i was also looking for a permanent place
you know and i never knew when that was going to happen and then also a thing that would happen
would be like our we have an availability of three weeks in March, but then in April,
somebody's coming in and be like,
all right,
well,
I'll take those three weeks and I'll find somewhere else for April.
So I don't know.
I was in at least three places,
maybe four,
something like that.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I love that shit.
When I lived alone,
it was a long time ago since I've lived alone.
It was before I got married,
but sometimes coming home to an empty place and
I was just a little empty.
I don't know if lonely is the right expression.
There's no one here. There's no joy.
It's just me.
No one to creep up on me from behind.
I don't know what that was.
The door opened. It could be HVAC
or someone just pushed on it.
It could be a ghoul or a goblin. There's always that
chance. Taylor, what if something came in
and it was so fast we couldn't even
see what it was. We just saw a
spray of blood and his camera
turned off. It zipped through to the little door
that scares us all.
Then we would have to restart this recording
Kyle.
Shit, I didn't consider that.
Wait, were we supposed to be recording
kyle's like well i've got jackie's number you think she can recover the file for us
i don't know if she can recover what do you
that bagul seemed to have snatched him up yes i never got loneliness like
that uh i always rather enjoyed being alone and like having a place to myself and you know just
fucking walk around naked and fucking like do what i want i'm a big boy i do what i want just
fucking piss in the sinks just not even caring big. Big boys do what they want. That's right.
And then being homesick,
I never got homesick. We'd be on the road
and Scott would start being such a
pussy.
He's like, I gotta get back to my girlfriend.
I gotta get back to my girlfriends.
Come on.
Find a new one. We're in Florida.
You want to call it a show and test quibs?
Yep, let's wrap it up.
It's Test Quibs Theory.
DTA486.
No outros?
Nope.