Painkiller Already - Painkiller Already #488
Episode Date: May 1, 2020In this week's PKA, we got an amazing episode for you... because we are celebrating the 10 YEAR ANNIVERSARY OF PAINKILLER ALREADY BABY! Our good friend Tucker stays for the entire, extra-long, 5 hour ...episode of the show, and every 90 minutes we have a fan favorite guest rotating out. Harley, Filthy Robot and BlameTruth all grace us with their spirit, knowledge and comedic chops and it makes for an epic episode. The guys react to a 10 Year Celebration montage Chiz put together tons of clips from memorable & important guests over the lifetime of PKA, and they also play a PKA Trivia game... that devolves into unmitigated chaos, but who cares cause a lot of people suffer through taking shots of hot sauce. So enjoy celebrating 10 years of PKA with all of us!
Transcript
Discussion (0)
pka episode 488 with our guest tucker and many more guests coming kyle a couple of sponsors
tonight postmates nick here orby and smart mouth but yeah 10 years we're just discussing
how this is 10 years and why it is 10 years and apparently it's a poor work ethic
what is that is that 14 missed shows in the past 10 years shame on you more than that
so what is it we're at 488 now.
Oh yeah, you're right, 520.
There are 52 weeks in a year.
So you'd think 520
would be 10 years, but it's
488. So is that
32 missed shows?
Is it that many? That's almost
a full year of missed shows.
Good God, have we really missed 30?
Someone explain this to me i
mean ever since i joined the show six or seven years ago i think we've been a pretty pretty
good clip i think six years ago whatever it was i feel like i've missed two shows there was like
i think i missed two months of shows
yeah you definitely missed eight at one point yeah eight in a row. I think I made it to a seven.
I was like, all right, show tonight.
I'm out of jail.
Maybe I made it seven, but I don't even remember exactly.
There was one show.
This was like two years ago.
You know when you go years without getting sick?
The next time you get sick, like the flu, it comes in hard like you're due.
And that's what happened.
And it was just like a full week of it.
I was telling myself all day
vomiting, feeling horrible.
I could still do the show.
I could still do it. I got on the call with
Kyle and Woody and Woody was like, Taylor,
take the night off.
I can't do Alex Jones' voice, but I could try.
Fun times. Ten years years that's crazy i mean only like between six and seven for me i think when did i start early 2014 i think that sounds right years ago someone wrote taylor's now done
more episodes than wings has and that blew my mind like i yeah that was a long time ago i was
surprised to see the that. Because if you think our
collective work ethic is poor,
whoa!
So yeah, Taylor's been on
longer than Wings has.
How long was Lefty on for?
It felt like
20 years that he was on.
I don't know what he's
doing. I think he just
if he could, he'd erase that portion of his life from the internet.
Me too.
If you could go back and talk to yourself,
not talk to yourself, but just like,
imagine yourself 10 years ago,
Kyle and Woody in particular,
and was there a thought in your head in 2010?
Like, you know, in 2020,
this will probably still be going at a regular clip.
No, no. In 2010. And you know, in 2020, this will probably still be going at a regular clip.
No.
No.
I've always lived like my YouTube career is about to die.
I feel like in my – back when I was an active uploader, I felt like I was constantly under attack and that one of these attacks would eventually land.
And then the show, like, I don't know like how long did host migration last 14 episodes
something like that 12 i just thought we'd have a similar life cycle no i i didn't see any reason
why it wouldn't keep going because i felt like all of our um like collective careers on the
internet or whatever were on a real upward trend like wings was always growing quickly
woody was growing quickly i was growing very quickly um
and it just and i had no interest in not doing the show i was like yeah i don't see any reason
why we can't just keep doing this for a very very long time i don't know if i thought 10 years but
i didn't see any reason why we couldn't go be going for five more years you know even early on
what you know episode 100 you know by then i was like yeah we'll do 300 at least. Come on. It's great.
That'll be so fucking funny if we're doing this
in 2030.
I hope they play that back.
I'm almost 40 years old.
Gray-haired Taylor looking at the younger
version of himself. It'd be so funny.
There's no reason we can't.
We've all let ourselves go
just tragically.
Woody's dead in 10 years. yeah this is the 20-year anniversary and actually the the nine-year anniversary of
since woodworth left us and tucker when was your first time on the show i think my first if i
recall was like i don't even know episodes it was forever it was it was probably relatively early
i'm sure some one of these
scholars will have the exact date and time stamp um but you know like it really it really like
picked up probably in the last five five years or so i'd you'd be hard pressed to get me to give
an exact time but yeah it's been a it's been a it's been a long time but i mean also like
i don't think that there's anything especially
on the internet that you can look at and be like yeah in five years this is something that i i i
think will still be happening in its current format because like five years is a decade
plus in internet time that's a long time oh yeah it's a dog years this is different though
the reason this is different is because uh i think we all enjoy doing this
and we enjoy each other's company.
This didn't begin as any sort of
business venture. It began
as, hey, every week it seems like
we all get together and chat and have a good time
for two or three hours at a time
on Skype. Why don't we just record
these and upload them?
Especially at the time,
a big trend in
commentary was getting two or three guys together
and where they were playing cooperatively or they were doing like a,
you know,
commentary or a track com and,
uh,
and you know,
just getting multiple points of view.
And I've never been lucky enough to be invited to a try com.
Oh,
it's a special thing.
I still remember mine.
You know,
they're a little overrated.
It takes a lot more work than you think.
I've probably had a Tricom,
but I've never had a three-way.
I can tell you the Tricom is significantly less fun
than the three-way.
Significantly less fun.
Yeah.
I picked the wrong one.
Cleaner, though.
Oh, much cleaner.
Yeah.
Depending on... Yeah. So you guys see... I mean, obviously, you're looking at the video now. Cleaner, though. Oh, much cleaner. Yeah. Depending on, yeah.
So you guys see, I mean, obviously you're looking at the video now.
Lots of guests.
Long episode.
And Chiz also put something else together that none of us have seen that I'm not sure when we're going to tap into that.
It's apparently, Kyle, you set the stage.
You know more than I do.
Yeah, so buckle up, boys, if you're listening to this around the world.
So what we have here is we, and based on what I understand,
I wanted this to be a surprise.
I have not seen it, but I think what Chiz did is he contacted a lot of our previous guests.
I don't know who or how many, but he had them do a little video blurb about us,
or to us, sort of, reacting to the, hey, it's 10 years.
What do you want to say to the guys?
And they all sent these little selfie
videos into Chiz and
fuck them!
I hope so. I hope there's some of those, man.
That'd be funny. He edited down
all of these little clips into just
the fucking cream of the
crop and it was 45
minutes long.
So for the next 45 minutes everyone sit down
so so we said all of us collectively including we're like 45 minutes might be way way way too
fucking long so so we went back to our 10-year. It's a clip show. People would get so pissed off.
So he went back to the editing room and he
edited the cream
down to the diamond
encrusted platinum that
came out to 25 minutes
of little blurbs
from our, yes, cream turns into diamond
covered platinum. And
he edited it down to 25 minutes. And
then just split that 25 minutes in half
so we have two 12.5 minute videos uh of prior guests saying something about us god knows what
if he got some of them you know uh god i hope shoenice is in there calling us a lesbian book
club again oh wow i really i don't I don't know if he's still alive.
I don't know if he has internet.
Chiz says better than that,
so I'm buckled in now.
All right, thank you.
That guy hates us. I don't know why.
Promise low, deliver high, Chiz.
You're pumping me up right now, all right?
Shoe Nice popped in one of my Twitch streams
a while ago, like four months ago.
Someone hates you more than Shoe Nice. in one of my Twitch streams a while ago, like four months ago. Someone hates you more than Shoe Nice.
Okay, we're back.
Not my mom!
He was very upset that I wasn't paying attention to him in my Twitch chat,
which just inspired me to keep doing it.
And he flayed down in there.
Yeah, he popped in my Twitch chat and got so mad.
So we have this 12 or 13 minute little video montage.
Do you want to bite off like four minutes
of it and see what's up?
Let's jump in and
look, if it's gold,
if we're just rolling the floor, you're not going to
stop. We're not going
to want to stop halfway through.
If it's just real good,
I think maybe do half of it.
Stop, talk about it a little bit.
Maybe do a little topic change for a little while.
And take this thing in bites, not gulps.
So this is PKA 10-year part one of two.
And I don't know if...
We still don't have part two in the chat, just in case.
Well, we don't need it.
We've got 13.
You got your burger in front of you.
The steak's on the way.
You have burger with steak?
Who doesn't have burger with steak um who doesn't
have burger i'm definitely prioritizing my steak over my burger and who has burgers and steaks
together it's called meat monday and you start with a burger okay yeah it's cholesterol season
and i'm bulking how is the taylor have you gained weight during the quarantine?
See, I'll say I haven't gained weight during the quarantine, but that's terrible because my goal has been to lose a bunch of weight.
And so just by exercising six days a week really intensely and eating like an animal, I've totally negated any sort of progress.
Like, I guess I'm gaining some muscle, but I'm also gaining...
Well, no, I guess I'm not gaining muscle or fat.
Maybe I'm turning some fat into muscle.
I don't know.
No, I have a squat rack,
bench, barbell, plates,
Midwest perks, man.
I'm so jealous.
It's like a race.
Do you have a room of your house
that's like a gym?
It's in my basement.
In the unfinished section of my basement,
I've got the squat rack, the bar, plates, a bunch of my farmer's carry handles.
And so I do that often.
Is it tall enough?
Can you do a barbell up in the air?
See, that part sucks.
I have to do seated overhead presses.
But, I mean, as long as you're keeping your core and your trunk straight and using that and not using one of those benches that you lean back on, you're still getting mostly what you need.
What's the most dangerous thing that you do down there?
Because my first thought process was like, you're all alone.
Best case scenario, your girlfriend's there.
Are you ever doing a lift or something where you're like, let's not fuck this up?
So there's a like, you know how those safety rails go into the sides of there so like
if you accidentally drop the bar yeah it'll it'll catch so i'm in a bit of a conundrum because if i
go to number seven i can't get down to my chest it to hit for the rep if i go to number six which
is what i use if i drop that thing it's i'm i'm pinned like i'm gonna be in some trouble and so on the plates yeah yeah i do oh
shit i always do so and there's definitely been times where i'm doing like the last bench rep
when i'm trying to heavier weight for the first time and i'm like you got no choice bitch you
gotta do it and that's strangely motivating knowing like if your girlfriend comes down, there's no way she can help you lift this weight off.
You have to call a neighbor.
And now with the quarantine, they're going to be like, no, he can fend for himself.
I was benching.
The family was going.
They were visiting probably other family or something.
And I got pinned under the bar.
But it turns out that while I can touch my chest with it, if you just bring it to your neck, everything's fine.
And I turned my head out and sort of slide my ear under it and did that little move to escape.
That would have been the first thing for me to try and solve that issue.
It's just like, well, if I just move it closer to my vital area.
I've done it with the squat too, where I fell forward and it was going to like pin my face into the ground.
And who knows, snap my neck, but the bars you know squat bar when
i've when i've failed squats it's because like i'm it's usually not the first rep or even the first
set it's like i get overconfident myself and i'm like yeah let's see how low this ass can go and i
get down past that fulcrum point and i'm like not this low not this low and then so like what you
have to do is just kind of just roll it off your back and hear the giant
clang off of the safeties.
That's embarrassing
when you're by yourself.
I would never put locks on doing
bench press because I wanted the ability
to spill the plates off either side.
I've thought about that too and it's just
force of habit. I always put the
snaps on.
I feel like the locks are for people who are like, I don't know,
they got like four fucking plates on there or something like that.
I'm certainly not doing four.
I'm not doing four or five or something.
I've never thought that.
I always thought locks were for beginners
who maybe don't keep the bar perfectly level.
That's what I thought.
Yeah, yeah.
And I use the locks because maybe sometimes I don't.
I've had it where at the end, like one side spaced a little.
And it's like, ah, you know, keep the locks.
I was taught to always, when I was taught to weightlift,
they're like, always use these.
And I think that was because it was like public, like school gyms,
where it's like, you can't be failing a rep.
And if somebody's doing their farmer's walks or tricep pushdown,
just go, ah, and dump it.
I've lost two pounds during quarantine which was like i thought i had gained
i thought i had gained i know i know that i haven't been perfect on my diet uh you know that
we told the story where my wife was like damn this whole box only had two bowls of cereal what a rip
off yeah baby that's it it's totally not me having a 5 a.m. breakfast followed by a 9 a.m. with you.
We should call Raisin Bran.
My girlfriend literally brought up to me recently.
She's like, Taylor, I know it's diet, but I wish you wouldn't drink so many cream sobas.
It's worrying to me.
She made cookies last night and you keep doing that thing where you walk by and you break off half a cookie while it's still there.
And you're like, don't mind if I do.
And then you walk back the other way, grab the other half and another.
And it's like before you know it, it's like, man, I made cookies deep and I feel just so guilty.
My wife had a tip for you, Taylor.
I was talking about Cheez-Its.
Eat less fat fuck.
We all have our weak spots and Cheez-Its are maybe yours.
And she's like, does he buy the little school lunch packets?
And I'm'm like that's
that's a good idea like if you bought the individually wrapped ones did you throw in
your kids lunch then there'd be a real defined stopping point on the cheeses you'd have whatever
eight or ten i it's the willpower i lack you know i'll go and i'll open up and i'll crack up another
one of those there's there have been times where I go through so much string cheese that like I
came into here.
I was watching Townsend and sons the other night.
I may have been even after PKN and like,
I just kept like popping up and I'm watching him make hard tack or fucking
beef stew or portable stew.
And before I know it,
it's just a graveyard of string cheeses and wheat thins.
And what else I eat?
I mean,
I don't remember.
That was a late night eating is my is my
big problem like i love snacking at night it's just so satisfying that's a the serving sizes are
a thing we do like we have paper bowls next to all the snacks in our house in the pantry so you don't
take a bag of tostitos out of the pantry they never leave the pantry no you put some reasonable
amount in the paper bowl and then
you leave with that. And then you have to
make sort of a conscious decision to
reload. And now there's the
added problem
of it'll be like a
Tuesday, Wednesday night
sitting there watching Netflix
and because I'm quarantined, it's like
I'm working from home tomorrow. I don't have to do anything
until whenever my first call is. I'm going to have a few beers. Every night's a weekend. That's like, I'm working from home tomorrow. I don't have to do anything until whenever my first call is.
I'm going to have a few beers.
Every night's a weekend.
That's just drinking.
Every goddamn night.
Yeah.
It's just drinking sandwiches worth of calories.
And it's like, it's with no nutritional benefit.
So, yeah, that's the overeating and just empty calories has been tough for this.
But workout on point.
Very easy to work out every single day.
I want to see this video.
Let's watch.
Okay.
All right.
So need to align it.
Okay.
Cause when,
when Woody suggests,
like,
I hope it's shoe nice.
Cause he really hates us.
She's said something that,
that made me really want to watch the video.
I don't,
again, don't want to oversell.
Always want to undersell.
Ready?
Yes.
Ready, set, play.
The old school intro.
I remember sticking that in front.
Dude, I think I remember who made that intro.
Damn, boys, 10 years.
10 years straight of podcasting.
Honestly, I thought it was impressive that I was wrapping my dick in bacon and sticking corn dogs up my ass for 10 years, 10 years straight of podcasting. I honestly, I thought it was impressive that I was
wrapping my dick in bacon and sticking
corn dogs up my ass for 10 years
on YouTube, but
having a conversation with Woody for 10 years?
No, I'm kidding.
I'm kidding. Literally, man, one of the first
podcasts I've ever
watched, listened to, and
especially been on PKA
for 10 years, and I remember the first time I ever
went on it, I didn't know what it was, the first time I went on it, I just got wasted on the podcast,
and made new friends, I ended up hanging out with Woody, and Kyle, and you know what,
it's just been, it's been crazy, man, it's been a wild 10 years, and I just look back, and
that feels like lifetimes ago, that I got wasted on the podcast for that first time and everything.
Man, I can't believe you guys have been pumping them out since then.
It really feels like lifetimes ago.
And PK, you're still banging them out, baby.
Way back in the day, I remember watching the recording of the podcast and seeing Call of Duty footage and just being like, what the fuck?
This upbeat music
royalty free yeah it's like an apple commercial pka i've been you know trailblazing since day one
and i've been blazing trails in the back of a blazer no i'm joking i'm stupid
I'm an idiot. I'm stupid.
Anyways, man. Congratulations, guys. Fucking love you all.
Huge shout out to PKA and
huge shout out to the PKA audience.
You guys are all dope.
Fucking, fucking, we're doing it, man.
You're doing it. It's, yeah.
Hey, give me a kiss.
I was supposed to do this last week, but I cut my finger off.
And now there's wind.
Love you, physical.
This is America under Trump.
Dog barking.
It's not even my dog.
Well, this is a bit of a shit show, isn't it?
Everyone's on sort of lockdown.
My allergies are crap, so now I sound like a boy going through puberty.
And somehow, PTA turns 10.
That's insane.
Complaining.
10 years of a consecutive
podcast is pretty
damn epic. So well done Taylor
and Woody and cheers.
Here's to another 10.
Congrats. Nothing for Kyle.
I get nothing.
Anyway, cool. Fuck Kyle.
How's it going guys?
Blame Truth here. Recur nothing. Yeah, anyway. Cool. Fuck Carl. How's it going, guys? Blame Truth here.
Recurring.
He looks good.
AKA podcast guest.
I've been on the show four or five times now at this point, and every single time, it is
always a blast.
Those guys are so fun to just shoot the shit with and do this off-the-cuff style with.
And congrats on 10 years straight of just keeping the podcast going and not only
keeping it going but thriving it's so hard to thrive in this ever-changing entertainment medium
that is the internet new things new trends are constantly coming and going but pka stay constant
and it's such a hard feat congrats so much guys on 10 years some of my
favorite moments from the show uh one with me in it has to be the hellcat story i was dying to tell
that story to several thousand people because it's so ridiculous and thankfully they gave me
a platform to do that and now I want to say every single week
remember that somebody comes into my my twitch stream right YouTube channel it
says hellcat at me in all caps so yeah one of my favorite moments there another
favorite moment would be the wings of redemption just the whole tale that Kyle
told about wings of Redemption's boot camp thing
that Kyle made him do at his place.
And I go back and I watch that clip quite frequently.
Hilarious.
Kyle's such a good storyteller.
But I don't know, man.
Just the off-the-cuff, relatable,
not rehearsed nature of the podcast
is what has kept me a fan and kept me coming back on for so long.
Again, congrats on 10 years, guys.
And hopefully we get 10 more at least.
PKA has kind of always been there for me as a podcast.
It's one of the first actual podcasts that I ever really watched when I was getting into the entertainment gaming space.
And to the best of my knowledge, it's the oldest or one of the oldest gaming podcasts on the planet.
It's also one of the very first ones to truly become a thing in its own right.
Like the parts are greater than the whole, more than just the creators that created it.
And the people that created it made it back when YouTube was like this little janky website
that ran on Flash and had a star system and video replies
and just things that happened like decades ago five stars five star rating maybe it has been
there consistently for years there's always a new pka there's always a new guest there's always
something fun crazy going on and i think that some of my favorite moments from the show weren't
actually big famous guests or like really like this hype event happened, but just story time from the creators themselves.
Like just in any almost any story from Kyle or Wings is guaranteed to be very, very fun.
I know Wings may not no longer part of the show, but still very entertaining throughout a lot of its history.
And I want to wish all of you a fantastic next 10 years i'm supposed to
say in this little promo you know congratulations on getting 10 done but what i really want to see
is 10 more let's make this a 20-year podcast
kyle woody taylor good to see you guys congratulations on 10 years on PKA
a podcast named after a Call of Duty
perk I believe
I'm surprised Call of Duty is still around
and you guys have been doing it for 10
years
so way to go
I have known you guys for a very very long time
Kyle doesn't even remember meeting me
that's how old we are
unfortunately
but thanks again for just
kind of being along for my ride
I'm glad I was there for your guys' ride
and now we're meeting back at the
I guess not the end
but let's say we're just
we're meeting again for the very first time
on PK so I appreciate you guys
having me on the podcast
and getting to be
I guess a little bit of a voice of
reason occasionally
for you guys. So way to go.
It is absolutely
a feat to be making content
for 10 years, let alone having
a podcast for 10 years.
Something that people come back to week
after week after week. An amazing
amazing run. So just keep at it and I'll see after week. An amazing, amazing run.
So just keep at it.
And I'll see you guys very, very soon, of course.
Always.
Hey, what's up, guys?
It's Dunkus.
My boy!
I wanted to say to you, the Painkiller R-Ready crew,
congratulating you on 10 years of a podcast.
That's insane to me.
I don't even know.
I can't even know the podcast.
It's even around half that length.
So congratulations to you guys. Woody, you're a a trailblazer you did it back in the day when
nobody was doing it chiz of course holding everything together kyle being the crazy one
that he is i can't forget murka durka the classic you know love you guys wishing the best for 10
years maybe 10 more will come of this i don't know peace out guys guys guys guys guys guys time out do i hear this correctly you guys have just
reached 10 years of doing the podcast for 10 years that is insane that's 52 weeks that's 520 weeks
if my math serves me correct i'm not a math it's faster than we did it in the beginning
there's no way to check it that's right dr chis behind the curtain murka durka my brother's fbs
kyle and of course wo Woody's Gamer Tag.
Guys, I can't tell you how happy I am for you guys.
That is an accomplishment that not a lot of people get to say, especially in the podcast
world.
Early adapters.
We started a podcast and broke up the podcast and started in those years.
Yet, here you are showing us how it's done.
10 years of amazing laughs, 10 years of amazing entertainment.
You guys share your lives with us for as long as you guys have. That's
incredible. I applaud you and I
am happy to say that I have
been a part of that podcast maybe three times.
I wonder if the second half is just fuck you guys.
You guys
went on and did your survival
adventure without me, even though it was my goddamn
idea. It wasn't my idea.
Being asked to say congrats
to you guys.
I am super happy for you guys, though.
Yeah, I'm someone who lies. I'll call INS.
I don't care. I don't care if people know it.
And I don't care if I come off as salty.
Either way, I certainly,
again, am
happy. I'm inspired to hopefully
do that myself. Ten years strong,
though, that's an incredible feat, boys.
And I certainly congratulate you
and I hope you guys keep on going strong. Here's to
20 more. 10 more. This is all too nice.
Sounds like we need to do another trip
and bring him before this thing.
We'll quit right there.
First one to die.
10 years of podcasting.
That's a long time. I know.
The fact that you guys have been running for 10 years
is nothing short of my time.
I'm looking at the clothes. Did you do this 10 minutes ago?
As we all know, yeah, right?
Anything more than five years in the digital space is stupid.
How many of our shirts do you have?
It's hard to stay relevant.
It's hard to keep fresh ideas coming in.
Steve Jobs here.
I've been watching every single episode for 10 plus years.
So the fact that PK still exists
in its current form, I don't change. This is pre-quarantine, I think. every single episode for 10 plus years so the fact that pk is still existing glasses hair on
point and it's cute as fuck well i don't change this is pre-quarantine i think but also how good
uh you guys are as hosts um you guys have had me on probably more than a dozen times now and every
single time it's really an enjoyable experience because for the most part it's like not it's not
a podcast it's like a long discussion hanging out with people that I've known for upwards of a decade. Um, I mean, the
first time that I met pretty much all of you was at PAX East in 2010. I remember staying in a hotel
room in, what was it called? The Continental in, uh, in Boston with myself and Taylor actually
being in the same room. We shared a room.
It was like a suite.
We shared a suite with 13 people.
All right.
13 people slept on a couch.
I think Taylor slept on a pullout bed.
And there's a video somewhere on my YouTube of me,
like chucking starbursts at him because he fell asleep first.
Because you got too stoned.
Oh, yeah. I remember that.
I think Woody was in the same hotel, too.
He was spending his nights with Onslaught and Bash and Juicer, I think it was.
But, like, that was the first time that any of us had ever met up together and hung out.
And it pretty much started a lot of friendships that have lasted to this day.
much started a lot of friendships that have lasted to this day i remember meeting kyle for the first time at the same exact packs where um he told me a story about uh getting a cat head chipped to him
i think in his p.o box and i went on to tell that story on my twitter on my youtube channel like a
couple weeks later and kitty got so pissed at me because i just inadvertently leaked who um
kyle's alter ego was so i won't forget that um it was uh definitely a lot of people did
that can you imagine thank you for always having me on i click baited it too supporting the shows
that i come on and uh thanks to chis i've been so nice trying to give you that underage alcohol
and remember when i tried to slip you that bottle in the hotel
lobby? Yeah. Congratulations.
Hopefully in another 10 years we'll be doing
this in like a nursing home for Woody's sake.
It's crazy.
Hey everybody, how you doing?
It's Junkyard.
I can't wait.
Bro, that shirt.
I was on episode number
three and what'd you have like
10 podcasts after that? I don't know what the hell
I don't even freaking watch your shit
Who's on this PK thing? Anyway, what do you got? You got this wings of redemption? Oh wait, he's he's not part of it anymore
You got this Tyler Taylor. I don't even know who the hell that guy is
Gamer tag woody. Oh my gosh, we go so far back.
You know what,
congratulations on
that paramotor thing
that you do in the
sky.
That is amazing.
I can't believe you
do that, but I got to
tell you, man, Tucker
got you so beat.
He does.
His flying, his
recording is fucking
so much better than
yours.
Just got to say,
your videos suck.
Kyle, Kyle, Kyle, a.k.a. FBS Russia, Kyle, a.k.a. JD Reader.
Well, you're just an asshole, buddy.
Hey, well, once again, congratulations on 10 years, you f***ing assholes.
This is Junkyard and Delis will say, f*** you guys.
Yeah, so what he's referencing there the reason he's calling me jd reed or actually it's jd reed my buddy jd reed that i played cold duty
with for years it was me jd reed and socrates were like we played trios on uh on game battles
together like like we all met each other early Call of Duty 4 and we played together for like every day for many years.
And we used JD Reed's YouTube
channel to upload the Junkyard
montage that I edited together
when he quote unquote
took down Machinima.
So yeah, that's what he's referencing
there. That was, that's
still makes me laugh and I still go back
and watch that occasionally. He he rated my twitch stream like two days ago right if people don't know rating is a
nice thing it's when you finish your uh stream and you give all your viewers to someone else
so both of them huh it was in the double digits i i we always make we always make a joke about uh
rated rated if you raid with viewers
It's like the people that are
Sitting outside the bar
At like 2.30 at night
Not moving, just kind of there
Technically they're there, but they're not really there
They're just like
Hanging out outside of the bar
They're raiding viewers
I have woken up the next morning
Like, why am I watching Valorant?
I wonder how many times I've been passed along in raids between when I went to bed and now.
Yeah, now that happens.
I can't believe that Junkyard's still alive.
I forgot he existed.
I'll never forget that he exists.
He really has a little bit of latent resentment for my boy kyle
oh i'm sure i don't blame him a bit he got so much flack that like he genuinely had a meltdown
that day i remember i remember him uploading the video and in that like skype chat when he did kyle
lincoln it being like ha ha and then everybody enjoying it dude Dude. That's funny. Yeah, yeah. Has anyone else had a meltdown?
I've never,
I don't know if I've melted down on video.
I probably have,
probably live streaming,
but it's rough.
It's rough when the whole world's mad at you.
Harder than you think.
If I had never been on YouTube,
I would have guessed
that I was amazing at handling that.
I've said this before.
I used to watch Baba Booey melt down
because someone called him baba
buoy and on the sidewalk and i'm like dude you're rich you have nothing to complain about who cares
if people call you baba buoy or not turns out like having your whole life just taken over by
this insulting nickname baba buoy baba buoy people saying it mockingly you can't exist in public
anymore without someone giving you shit about it
it it's more grating than people might guess and uh what we're talking about is a different kind
of meltdown right like like it's fine if you melt down in private i got his goat so well that he
made a response video and the best part is he didn't know who he was responding to he was
responding to the outrage in general.
And of course, immediately clip that.
Immediately clip that and then edit it together
and then upload it and just make it twice as bad.
Oh, I loved that day.
That was one of my favorite days.
Harley, can you hear us okay?
Not without headphones, you can't.
That is the coldest i'm blue
yo what up what's up man what's up we just watched your ever so sweet message congratulating us on
10 years so so thank you harley oh you just got that we just watched yeah didn't share it with any of us until just i sent that
like a year ago so you were really banking on us to make it through that through year 10 honestly
i banked everything on it nice hey how's my camera looking now yeah
what's up, Jerry?
How you guys doing, man?
Dude, I'm admiring your cases.
You got a nice little setup, nice little office.
You got more figurines every time you turn on your game. Yeah, actually, I do have a lot in, it sounds so stupid, storage.
Like I got doll storage.
But no, I actually do have... That's a normal thing.
These are...
This is the B team.
It's nothing.
This is nothing.
But what's that guy over there?
That guy wasn't there the last time I was here?
That guy in that bathroom?
What is that?
I missed that podcast where you guys did that or what?
Yours, Taylor.
Taylor was behind you.
Oh, my God.
Yeah, that's a – for the PKA fitness competition we had like 15 months ago,
I was probably like just being dumb one night and was like,
oh, yeah, dude, I'm going to get my cardio points boxing.
And so I ordered that thing, like $380.
Oh, it's one of those guys.
Yeah, and you fill it up, and then right now it's totally empty empty and i just put a mustache on his face and put a robe on him
and thought he'd be you know serving some purpose back there just being strange well i'm proud of
you i'm proud of it yeah you guys i think it's pretty cool i think it's pretty cool back there
it's really cool it's just another doll it's just like another doll, another type of doll.
One that you punch, though.
That's probably cheaper than a lot of your dolls, though.
Yeah, yeah.
Well, your dolls you punch.
These ones are meant specifically just shoving my ass.
What?
No, I'm just kidding.
Those are sharp.
You must have a durable ass.
Yeah, they are.
They're pointy.
Yeah, they are sharp and actually unrelated.
I feel like I do have a durable ass
i've never put a good quality to have but i like to believe yeah yeah i just feel like god
forbid knock on wood if i did ever go to prison i'd be like line up boys
all night i'll thank you all you're all gonna be tired everybody's losing their dicks because
you're like a cigar cutter
my girlfriend's looking at me
she's like what the fuck are you doing
I'm like it didn't even start yet
we're going by the way
we are rolling by the way
oh no
everyone's going to know I'm gay
by the way I'm joking
why did I bring this
exactly right
why did we bring hot sauce
you know the thing is I and if I'd known...
I like that we all have different ones.
I thought everyone was going to have a Frank's, and no one has a Frank's.
I don't think anybody has Frank's.
That's crazy.
We've all got pretty similar hot sauces.
But yeah, so I didn't know that hot sauce was going to be a thing tonight because I didn't know.
But apparently we have a game that Chiz has set up for us. Some of a quiz game i don't know how it works but i think there's
a component of it where you are punished i think maybe like if i win a round i get to pick harley
to eat some hot sauce something like that i'm so so glad i got this mild ass shit right here
do you really well here's the thing it's just
louisiana it's hot sauce but like i mean i've i've had i've had the hottest hot sauces like i've
yeah it's like yes you absolutely you did hot ones right yeah i did hot ones but we also made
like a 10 million scoville taco that like literally is like i shat red and pink for like a month.
That was intestinal lining.
Yeah, it was.
It was my body.
It was.
I know this is gross for a lot of people,
and this is actually disgusting.
Cut this part.
You know when you flush and it goes away,
but there's still kind of like a cloudy piece of shit
that kind of comes back up.
Yeah, I had like I had those like there was always like a ghost, like a shit ghost that came back up.
You got to hold the flusher all the way down.
No, these guys, they don't they don't abide by the regular rules of water and gravity.
I'm telling you, they're ghostly, bro.
It's just crawling back out.
It looks like it looks like the shell of a...
It's like membrane. It's like membrane it's like yeah yeah it's assenta and it's exactly like
it's like the skin on a peanut
yeah yeah yeah yeah everybody knows what the hell? That's placenta to you.
So yeah, I would have, you know,
maybe we could have like standardized our hot sauces,
but I think we're fine this way.
Because I know that Louisiana and Tabasco are very similar.
They're about 2,500 Scovilles. I think my Sriracha here is about 2,200 Scoville units.
I think that Tucker has something terrifying over there.
Mine is, I'm fucked.
Yeah, I don't, I tried to find a Scoville rating for it,
but since it's like a small, it's from a hentai website.
It's called Hentai Hot Sauce.
It is.
Hentai Hot Sauce?
Does it have like a cartoon bitch on it?
That's where you got your hot sauce from?
I don't know.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, because I was curious.
Now, honestly, that's weirder than everything else that I've said.
That's the weirdest.
Yeah, that's the weirdest.
What do you mean?
You're not curious to buy a hentai website?
First of all, there's no way.
You don't buy hot sauce.
Sorry, go ahead.
That was not the only thing in your cart.
So it wasn't.
Yeah, I was going to say.
I was going to say, don't buy hot sauce from the same site that you jerk off on.
I don't know, man.
It was.
I mean, it's a Pornhub mayo in there.
You want me to grab that?
I was going to do a sponsored activation with them.
So I wanted to have some product that wasn't literally porn
so I could show it off in a YouTube video.
Oh, smart business.
It's called the reary, reary hot sauce.
It's just called hentai hot sauce.
Yeah, it's a little...
Can I see it?
Can I see it? Can I see it?
Yeah, we can show non-nudity, but cleavage, right?
Yeah.
Yeah, as long as there's no nipples or lady...
No nipple.
There's no nipples.
No nipples.
It's called hentai...
Oh, but she's coming.
She's coming, though, from an octopus.
You didn't tell us that.
What do you want from me?
You don't know?
It's an embrace, a loving embrace.
We've shown videos of women shitting in the street
and people having their brains blown out by police officers and you oh you also yeah last time i was
here you showed that guy came on taylor oh yeah yeah that was that was actually you got contributed
that was yeah he did he did i wonder if i've been actually i don't want to open up that that's all
i don't know maybe It made me laugh.
That was a big load, too. That man's been having a zinc.
I was thankful that he saved a good one for me, frankly.
You just brought it out in him.
It's a watery load.
He's like, you know what? I actually already came once today.
Taylor just gets me...
Watery load. Nothing worse than the watercolor painting loads, you know?
Yeah, I don't...
You want acrylic?
It's acrylic.
I want it to be like stucco.
Yeah, I want like cottage cheese but not like nail polish remover.
Like dripping peaks.
Just dripping stiff peaks onto the photo.
Stiff peaks.
You see this?
I want it like this.
It's not coming out like this.
I don't know.
I just have them on my desk.
I don't know what
they are but that's what i want it to be like they look like like like oh that's no no that's
a that's the one of those uh toothpicks that has the little uh floss attached to it right what
no no this is broken apart this is three pieces of mysterious fibers uh i don't know what the
fuck this is i've been oh my my schedule and everything has just been on freestyle since the apocalypse started.
I don't know anything anymore.
I always like, I have headaches and I realize like, oh, I should have been sleeping like 20 hours ago.
Everything's messed up.
The only benefit is I've been like getting to play like old games that I never beat that I just showed.
If you could pick a flavor for your semen what would it be pineapple oh i'm unfortunately gonna have to say
sadly enough matzo ball soup okay okay that's a man who's practically jewish practically. He doesn't care what the ladies think. Yeah, you're at the delicatessen.
Old Jewish deli.
It's salty.
You're going to need water after this.
Why would you choose that?
I didn't choose it, God, dude.
No, no, no. That wasn't the question.
The question was if you could choose the flavor of your semen,
what would you pick?
Oh, well, shit.
You don't have to be out here coming mango or something
yeah mango strawberry that's that's where you saffron peanut butter great combination saffron
and peanut butter i don't know you guys what does your cum taste like i i want mine to taste like
trident toothpaste i want it to be refreshing when it comes out so that the ladies got like
nice breath afterwards but the kicker i want it to come out just like the trident toothpaste with the stripes like yeah that's
good thinking and i want it that like thick as well i just want it to but you're gonna be yeah
you're gonna be real tempted to tongue kiss her after that though i'd be like let me taste let me
taste some of that minty fresh kyle-ness it's all part of the plan you know maybe you're maybe you're heading
toward a meeting you check your own breath it's not so good all right what you gotta do that's
not a bad idea a good one you make it taste like a lays chip because it's impossible
brought to us by
yeah but then you're gonna be stuck they're like stop sucking me off. Let me get another suck, bro.
I just want another suck.
Is that dill pickle, Lay?
Yeah, the best one I know.
This was tactical.
So I think we can start this game now
if everybody has their hot sauce handy.
I didn't...
Can I have the floor here for a second, Kyle?
When he laid out this...
First of all, the game is kind of a surprise to us.
So we didn't know the rules.
We're still learning.
He asked about hot sauce, but he basically said a punishment drink.
And the way that I read it is I thought everyone was going to have alcohol,
and hot sauce was like the Kyle alternative because, you know,
he's not drinking right now.
Because I'm not allowed.
So I've turned it into a drinking episode.
So we'll see.
I've got some beers in my fridge.
I'll have some with you.
I can consume the very limited amount of vodka I have left in my house.
It's like we're down to the dregs here.
No beer?
You always have fancy-ass beers.
Usually I do, but you know how we were talking about how quarantine is kind of a lawless way.
Usually I do, but I just, but you know how we were talking about how quarantine is kind of a lawless way.
I found that, you know, when you start drinking at 2 PM, it's impossible not to drink the
whole six pack by the end of the night, no matter what you do.
It's just physically not possible.
So that's like 12 calories in beer.
That's a lot.
It's like bread.
It's like liquid bread for me.
Like I have, I have that and I wake up and like, I just have like a, like kind of a tit
now. It's like a, like kind of a tit now.
It's just like a little,
I have to,
yeah, it's like,
it's got like,
I got like one fold now on my body.
I didn't have,
um,
and it's unfortunate because beer is the best.
Like six beers is like,
that's it.
I like six beers.
I have one beer.
And if someone's like,
you want me to get you another beer?
I'm like,
no.
Cause then I have to have six,
six beers.
You either have one or you have six, no, because then I have to have six. Six beers would have me. I'm doing two.
You either have one or you have six.
Six beers.
And then if I get to six, I'm fighting.
No, no, no, not at six.
You're fighting at six beers.
Six beers would have me laying on the tile, thankful that it's time.
No, I don't think it was.
Last time you had six beers, you'd be all right.
You might nap.
The last time I had, I don't know.
Two beers is like a good nap.
Like high school is the last time I had six beers.
Harley.
Like, I'm not a drinker.
Yeah.
I don't know what six beers will do to me now.
Depends what kind of beer.
If you like, usually Tucker has those strong IPA style beers.
But if it's like Bud Light, that's pretty easy.
Crispy.
Yeah.
If it's like four and a half percent, then that's just like a Friday.
Right.
But if you're drinking like nine percent ipas yeah that's a
little suck those are great if you have one of them and then but you can't day drink like heavy
beer no they're not like there have been times i've had those like nine percent ipas and i'll
like have it i'll be watching a show and it'll be next to me i've never had it and i'll you know
not even nine maybe like eight seven or eight you take like a nice
big drink of it you're like ah oh and then you put it next to you and then you're like an hour later
when you muscle up wanting to drink again you like lift it up it's hot and you're like you know what
i'm just gonna dump this out and get a butt light wouldn't you rather have wine though like like if
you're going to like the 11 12 13 alcohol by volume rating i feel like a nice red wine is yeah i can't get drunk off of red wine
i mean i can physically in fact get drunk off of wine but i'd prefer the hangover of a beer
nine times out of ten than like if i crush a bottle of wine myself that's a problem in the
morning i'm that's what it takes too i won't get it for me actually like i i like like wines chill
having some wine, maybe
chilling a little bit, doing some things, fine.
But if I do get to the point where I drank
enough wine that I'm kind of fucked up,
it sounds like bitch shit,
but I will probably get sick at some point.
More often than not.
Wine will do that to me.
I can drink vodka, I can drink
everything else, but wine just
really fucks me up.
I think tequila is the best
way to drink, in my opinion, because it's
70 calories per ounce. I think it's the lowest
calories. Vodka is
69 per ounce.
Depending on the type of distillery.
They get that one extra calorie and also
69. Nice.
Nice.
Not sure if that's true, but I know tequila is right around 70. They get that one extra calorie and also 69. Nice. Nice. Hey,
not sure if that's true,
but I know there's no way to check.
No way to check.
But I like to,
because I feel like it tastes better than vodka too.
It like,
especially if it's really good tequila,
there's no burn.
Yeah. But I literally do all joking aside.
Tequila is literally trouble.
Like if I'm drinking tequila,
I'm standing up and I'm like, fuck quarantine, bro.
Let me ask you this.
I'm going to Dave and Buster's. I don't care if it's closed.
I got a power card with 600 points left on it.
And I guarantee they make those games on so the records don't get erased.
I'm fucking going.
Try and stop me.
Bro, statistically, someone has said that in your country in the last week.
And what's alarming is I was about to say it was almost me.
I have several tweets of somebody being like,
hey, man, what are you doing when you're done quarantining?
I'm like, I'm going to Dave & Buster's.
I'm playing Dance Dance Revolution until I bleed.
Like, I have to go.
Like, I got to go bowling.
I got to do something.
I'm going to go sit in that Jurassic Park game
until there's a line of upset kids that I'm so good at those fucking rafters i'm sorry do you know how the game works retard
i can't until i lose and i don't yeah you do that you do the four player
you do those four player games but you do a wield with your buddy
yeah those are good tucker are you good at ddr no i have a i have a good group of friends one
of my friends is one of those people who's gonna ddr body type i you know i am built like a
consumer i enjoy i can't i can i can play on heart like back back when i was growing up i
used to go to the arcade quite a bit but my friend uh competed in japan for like the tournament and they gave him a card that you can swipe it on
any ddr machine and it lets you play for free so we just go and he's just like all right who wants
hey it just sits there and swipes you play gay games you win gay prizes. Am I right?
I think that's really cool. I'm just kidding, by the way.
He's a DDR fan, by the way.
I actually bought it on Xbox 360.
And I remember I got like four pads in case my friends wanted to play.
They never did.
And I'm like, four pads?
What the hell?
And then I found out you can calibrate it to four pads
so playing on four pads like on normal or easy so it's not insane you literally are doing a
fucking you're square dancing in your basement if you ever thought DDR looked ridiculous when
people are holding the pole imagine if you're're just alone in your basement stoned with bare feet.
And your bare feet are hitting the mat.
Exactly, exactly.
It's like the saddest thing.
The saddest noise.
I remember doing one of those in my basement at one point.
And it was just this Sean Paul song.
Temperature?
Yeah, temperature.
Because it was the easiest one
on hard and i like wanted to say i could beat one on hard and i just felt like there was maybe a 30
second window and i'm like that was sick and then i was like yeah but this isn't the kind of thing
i'm gonna tell anyone about yeah and until now and i also did the same thing there was the song
pendulum and i was like if i could learn this on hard i'm really happy to
just fuck this game off forever like this will be like a moment in my life i remember that was a
hard song i couldn't do it oh yeah yeah that was really hard nimble soft steps like legless just
it's honestly i was so tall weird shaped body like tippy toe dancing in my basement stoned so yeah I'm just like the carpet
sliding I'm like dad where's your double-sided tape what do you mean it
doesn't work on carpet I used to play Guitar Hero and Rock Band and I was the
guitar guy and I'm the best gamer in this house so whenever there was like a
hard section or the
song wasn't easy you pass that to dad you get it done well pka dan was living with us for a while
and he was better at these games than me and he would just kick my ass at the guitar dude i'm
glad you said that because that's exactly what he's like. You're going to let me come in here and beat you at your games in your own house?
It's like, I don't have much to say about it, really.
I love it.
But you know what I love before that?
I loved your claim where you're like, you meant it so much.
I'm the best gamer in this house.
I really am.
If there's one reason I want to be a dad, it's just to have kids and be like,
I'm fucking taller than all of you.
I'm smarter. I'm faster.
I'm a better gamer.
Guess what, bitch? You don't need her anymore.
That woman in the house, I fuck her.
She would never fuck you.
I could go fuck her right now.
How do you think you even got here?
You're nothing but a fuck.
Are you sassing me?
Are you sassing me? I'll fuck your mom.
Dad, I've talked to you so many times about how much this upsets me.
Shut the fuck up.
You don't have any money.
I'm taller than you.
I'm just like, yeah.
I'm like, shut your mouth.
Just keep banging the drums.
We're failing on medium rock band.
If Colin's not taller than you.
I can picture Woody walking through his house when Dan was there
and Hope's playing some
Dragon Force song and she's just like,
and you see her struggling
and she goes,
Hey, I need help.
And you start walking there and she goes, Dan!
No, I do like the visual.
I do like his visual of him
coming up behind you. He's like, you got to place your hands here.
Like that.
You got to strum it like this.
I actually, I find if you rock your hips.
Let's stop now.
I'm sorry.
Did you rock your hips?
That's bad.
You could even sing.
Feel the music.
Let's play our little game.
All right.
Chiz, mic test?
Does everybody have shot glasses or something to put hot sauce into?
No, that's awful.
I've got a spoon.
I physically cannot consume a shot glass of that hot sauce.
I have a spoon.
That's a nice spoon.
I'd like to take a lighter to that.
Chiz, can we get a longer mic test?
It's so good. I a nice little little brass one whoa that is a lighter spoon guys there's six people on the show right now and we need to know
all right cheers that's not working the mic test failed uh we need another idea.
That's good internet right there.
That's amazing internet.
Chiz was on 100-100 and then that
failed and then he went to a cell phone.
Well, he works on that.
It's my interpretation he went back to
the 100. One second. Let me go get a
spoon also.
I'm willing to do two
spoonfuls. I just don't own a shot
glass.
Okay.
I can switch to hot sauce if I finish
this drink. What do you have there? Me?
Yes. A margarita,
I think. I don't even know my drinks. Jackie
made it. I was expecting much more
and we're starting
here.
I could switch over to hot sauce.
All I have is red hot. Yeah, you should go to hot
sauce. Unless you're opposed to hot sauce.
I thought the fans would prefer
me making this a drinking episode for
me than hot sauce. Well, if you were shots of tequila
maybe, but you know,
you'd have to drink like, well, the whole
margarita to feel anything.
Because that whole margarita has one ounce of alcohol in it.
Oh.
You should just.
This isn't the kind of thing I know.
I can get the hot sauce.
Also, I know you're into fitness.
That's mostly sugar.
That is also true.
I mean, if you did one of those visualizations where you could see how much sugar is in there,
it's literally probably four tablespoons of sugar.
If you wanted a better alternative, you would uh seltzer water or regular water and just use lime juice
and then you've got there's no calories it's just tequila and lime water let's see how it goes i'll
finish this drink and if i need hot sauce i'll text wait are you guys talking about drinks yeah
yeah we're you know what i like to go i was say, you know what kind of drink I like these days?
When I do have a drink.
Because I was on, I didn't want to go to tequila or vodka.
I normally bounce between the two.
Because I'm like, oh, if I'm going to be fucked up tonight,
I know I'm going to eat some shit when I'm wasted or when I wake up.
So let's not waste the calories on drinking.
And I always go to the bartender these days.
And I'm just like i want
a tequila drink no simple syrup no sugar stuff unless it's like a fruit or something
kill it just get it man get me whatever you think you got just vodka waters is the easiest spicy
waters man vodka water no i like i like i like it's like uh
i like it to get like tequila and like a cucumber maybe a jalapeno like some salt on top of it
a little bit of like soda water i'm like that's it and it's just like it's not even a drink it's
just like this guy's like i just threw shit together for you and i'm like that's just a punishment yeah i've been told vodka water is a good choice for non-drinkers
because you hydrate along the way for sure and then i just want half a rock
i have these what am i doing i have i have wine and hot sauce
we'll pour yourself a glass of wine but you haven't gotten any questions wrong because we
haven't asked you so don't do anything with the hot sauce yeah i do i love the way kyle
drinks where he's like i like the feeling of being drunk i fucking hate drinking and so i put about
four shots of tequila in there down that and i'm good for a few hours and yeah i don't understand
yeah i don't i don't get the whole idea of like making a mixed drink and and extending the
punishment out over a period of time.
I get if you just want to sip something, like a hot summer day on the beach.
Like, fuck yeah, give me a pina colada.
That'd be cool.
But if I'm wrong.
I think I know what it is.
Because I know what you're saying.
And I always felt like that for the longest time.
And I always, even I remember when I first started doing YouTube and we would would drink on the show i'd be like oh like this stuff tastes like shit
yeah it does and i'm like and now we're we're cooking with it imagine drinking something and
be like ah let's cook with it like i never i never got that so i was always about it
but then like i had some good drinks and it's like like i've never smoked a cigar and been like
yum in my chest or anything it's like there's like a weird there's like a weird thing where
you're like you're like this is so unnecessary i'm gonna enjoy it slow like someone crafted this
for me to sip i don't know like i like i like the old fashions for a while and I can't make an old fashion.
I can't make that drink.
So when I'd order it, I got to the place where I knew I'd be like, this is a good one.
This is a bad one.
And the good one I'm going to love and I'm going to sip it.
And the bad one is just like you drank, you made it at home.
It's kind of like coffee.
Like growing up, I hated coffee.
I hated coffee growing up.
And then I started to like coffee. And now I can drink coffee and be like, this is shit coffee.
How do you drink your coffee?
This is good coffee.
Black.
Black.
I drink my coffee black.
Black's the only way to do it.
You're saving calories.
My God, I'm 10 later.
Yeah.
So just a second.
We need a mic check from Chiz.
Can you hear me right now?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
We drank a lot, though, Kyle, back in the day.
We drank a lot.
What were we thinking?
I was thinking you.
I'm going to drink some more right now,
and I'll go over the game real quick, okay?
Let's get it, then.
All right, so I'm going to ask a question to everyone,
and you can either choose to answer it
because you know the answer, and that's worth two points.
And if you get that right, everyone does a shot of whatever they want and you don't take shit.
Or you can go down to multiple choice, in which case if you get it right, you pick someone to take a shot.
But that person can't get punished twice in a row.
Also, if you get these wrong, if you get the question answer wrong, you take the shot.
Okay?
Okay. it's like
but not really at all yeah yeah not really it's no form of a question really
there's nothing to do with jeopardy in fact I just agreed with you blindly so
you're gonna say your name to buzz in So that's the easiest way to do this. Okay?
Yep.
I missed that.
Say your name to buzz in?
Yeah, just shout your name to buzz in.
Okay.
All right.
First question.
You're going to start off real easy.
Another podcast from the Call of Duty gameplay commentary community came before PKA.
Taylor.
All right, Taylor.
Post-migration.
I knew this.
You are correct.
So everyone else will take a punishment shot.
I get to have some hot sauce.
Honestly, better podcast, in my opinion.
This is way better.
It was just way better.
I can't see you guys, by the way,
so let me know when everyone's good for the next question.
I'm filling the spoon.
Let's get a spoon.
How many questions are there?
Yeah, we got to pace ourselves now.
There's going to be three questions per round.
Harley, you're only here for one set of questions.
I'll stay here as long as I want to stay here.
That's not really how this works.
Who's coming next?
Fuck them.
Who's next? Beat it between favorite guests, Harley. Let's coming next? Fuck them. Who's next?
Beat it between favorite guests,
Harley. Let's not do that, okay?
No. Fight, fight, fight.
Who's coming on after
me? Wings?
No, I don't remember the word. Don't say that name
in this household again.
You guys
and I will not have you ruin it.
We say brother now.
Hey, I watched a two-hour movie on him
on YouTube the other day, stoned off my ass.
I watched it, too.
You guys were in there.
Oh, it was quality content.
It was quality content.
The guy makes good videos.
Next question, please, Jesus.
I'm a guy with a pole.
Shout out.
This is a more inside baseball question,
but I feel like everyone...
By the way, I've divided you guys up
into hosts and guest teams, and I will total the points at the end for whatever the fuck I feel like everyone... By the way, I've divided you guys up into hosts and guest teams,
and I will total the points at the end for
whatever the fuck I want. Anyway,
who was the original guest
that was scheduled to come on Painkiller
already for the very first
episode since removing
wings, but he couldn't make it
and I, Chiz, had to fill in
last minute? Who was that original
guest that was supposed to come on the episode
after Wing was removed from the show?
Harley.
All right, Harley, go ahead and answer.
DJ Keemstar.
All right, I'm just going to go ahead
and remove you from the call, Harley.
What's going on here, guys?
If you got it wrong, you will need to take a shot.
Wait, that wasn't me.
No.
Wait, who just said it wasn't me?
No, I don't think I was that guy
on the show.
Everybody stop talking. Who wants to
also buzz in and try to answer? You can steal.
I want multiple choice.
Chance to steal.
I feel like
someone's got to answer no matter what. I want multiple choice I feel like
Someone's got to answer
No matter what
Every question's got to have an answer
I want to see people be wrong
You forgot the rules
If you don't know, it goes to multiple choice
You'll win less, but you still can win
Oh, I did forget
Was it Joe Lozon?
Was it Marka Durka?
Was it Philip DeFranco?
Or was it Harley Mornstein?
It was Harley.
What?
You are correct.
What?
It was me?
That makes my answer so much worse.
Wait, the first episode?
What?
The question?
No, the question was first episode post-Wings.
Who was the guest going to be that backed out?
And I really didn't remember.
I backed out?
Oh, I can't wait to go find my old evil.
Psychology.
I feel like he intentionally asked this with Harley on the show.
I did.
I specifically questioned.
Okay, Woody, you pick someone to do their thing.
Tucker, drink up.
Oh, that's how it works. You choose.
If it's multiple choice, one guy chooses.
If you just flat out get it, everyone but you drinks.
Alright.
Okay.
I already have heartburn.
I don't want to drink Tabasco.
I'm going to.
Well, you know, do whatever you want to do.
I'm going to drink a spoonful of Sriracha every time.
We're proud of you.
Oh, no, I'm going to do it.
I haven't had to because I'm winning.
This game is a dick measuring contest right now.
I want to say I have the second longest dick.
Yes.
Anyway, cheers.
Please, questions.
All right. Last question for this round.
This particular individual
comprised of a particular
color and body part
beat to death a
terrible joke about a video game series.
What was the joke
slash game?
This guy with a body...
Woody, was it Modern W modern welfare and call of duty
wait say tell me ever say everything again i wish there was text for me i work better he was saying
the the host name was a body part in a color and uh he beat to death a joke and he wanted to know
what the game was and what the joke was.
Tell me everything.
The game was Modern Warfare
and the joke was he called it Modern Welfare.
But give me who?
Redneck.
That's the color and body color.
The point I gave was this particular individual
comprised of a particular color
and body color.
These are deep.
Biggest dick right now, Woody.
That's a lot of vinegar.
Don't make me laugh.
I just want to put my nose a little.
Yeah, honestly, Kyle,
the hot sauce is hard.
That's going to be hard.
The vinegar is so much worse than the heat.
All right, keep them going.
I want the hot sauce to stack.
No, no, no.
We're spacing this out.
Next round for the next guest.
Next guest comes on, that'll be the next round.
See, there may be a question specific to that guest.
I wanted to get all the heat out of the way.
Did everybody already do theirs?
Yeah.
Yeah, hit yours up.
Okay, so are we done with the game for now,
or I'm confused?
Yeah, we're done with the first round for the game.
He has the game broken. What?
My questions are done?
I lost?
I got my ass kicked by Woody,
and it's over?
That's going to happen.
You missed the question where you were the answer.
You're right. I lost in that were the answer. You're right.
I lost in that moment completely. You're right. That's true.
This towering Jew is
not the answer.
Who could it be?
It's you.
Who is it? It's you.
Who is it?
I was trying to pull this up like I wanted to see if I
if I could find it and it was a
2015 one here or a 2014
but I see one the PKI guys
want to know best way to contact you to get it on the
show which is interesting
thing because it's
it would have been 2014 it would have been somewhere around July
2014
somewhere in there it wouldn't come from my email it would have been 2014. It would have been somewhere around July 2014. Or somewhere in there.
Yeah, that's around when I started.
It wouldn't come from my email.
It would have come from Woody or whoever.
April 17, 2014.
You want to do PKA tomorrow?
I've got an email from...
That sounds about right.
I got an email from July 29th 2013
So that might be my first
Seven years ago
Yeah attendance
That's fucking insane
How old are you Tucker?
I turned 27 last month
So you were 20
20? Wow
Oh as a guest that makes sense
Cause we met when I was like
16. Yeah, I was
watching your videos when they contained
insightful commentary about how
teachers give too much homework.
Literally
like the pinnacle of
like I'm in high school making high school
content. I've gone back and watched because
I had my 10 year anniversary on YouTube and it was
just it was rough. Oh, I disagree. I enjoy that. year anniversary on YouTube and it was just it was rough.
Like, oh, I disagree.
I enjoy that as a drag.
No, it's not.
No, it's good.
It was rough in that I was like, none of these even remotely hold up. Like, it's like watching a really shitty comedy movie from 20 years ago.
And you're like, all these jokes are bad.
Nothing is funny about this at all.
It's just like poor put together.
I mean, it's cool.
I know. I know what you're saying, because in the same sense i'm like i look at my content i also the 10 years and i was like it is cool i like it i'm happy it made my life it's awesome but some
of the things i'm straight up literally like bacon and alcohol and that's the video and i'm like what the fuck i watched the video from
tuckers of a long long time ago and he literally he did a paper for school and then read it as
his commentary and that was my college uh my college uh essay that i used to okay school
so i was yeah i actually liked that video yeah yeah. I remember that. I wrote about
how RuneScape taught me
how to manage economy and
supply chain management because I was
in a merchant guild, which is true.
You're right. I believe that.
I believe that. I feel like there's so
many lessons I've learned playing
games where I've been...
Is that a Jew joke?
No.
I never know with you.
I never know.
Of course it's a Jew joke.
I know it.
I know it.
I mean, I don't know.
You said you were going to cum matzo ball soup.
I feel like.
I didn't say that.
That's insane.
I said it would taste like matzo ball soup that's
a classic anti-semitic canard okay chris cuomo does he say that well i see that from they called
him fredo which i guess is the less successful son of the godfather and that's who he would be
compared to his brother who's the governor and he said that that was a classic anti-italian uh slur but no one else has ever heard fredo as an anti-italian slur
no it's just a way to call somebody shitty yeah yeah well fredo's brother was the godfather
yeah it's like saying yeah you're kind of shitty and you're like you don't stack up
yes they're calling them the like the runt yes like the compared to
andrew cuomo who is the governor and perhaps the more successful one definitely i would argue yes
being a commentator on the on the news on cnn versus being the governor of new york
i think he edges him out just just way like that yeah and so you see why he was sensitive
to being called fredo but when he went and called it an Italian-American slur,
everyone was like, no,
they're just making fun of you.
No, there's tons of those.
Yeah, yeah. And it's a good one,
honestly.
The difference between Michael and Fredo
is night and day. Michael's the fucking
good-looking war hero, intelligent
leader of the family, and Fredo's just the
perennial fuck-up who literally cowarded out
and let his dad get shot and then betrays
Michael. I love The Godfather.
I haven't watched that in years. I'm due.
Yeah, same. I'm due. I was just thinking that.
It's one of the best movies ever made.
Harley.
That I do once a year.
How's your quarantine going?
Bro, I've been fucking training for this shit
for 20 years.
Literally, as long as the wi-fi is still up i'm and i i i like let me clear it out right away and i know you
guys have a special audience i don't have to give a disclaimer but i do think it's fucked up i think
it's crazy and i think it's really grim and i know a lot of people are going through some shit
and i definitely believe that you know us here we are fortunate in many ways um especially even if
the job can be done in under these circumstances but job aside in leisure time i know a lot of
people are losing their mind with leisure time i am fucking chilling bro i am chilling i got like
bells in the bank on animal crossing i'm flipping houses i'd be doom
eternal on the day of i'm taking out i'm like sitting there and i'm like hmm resident evil
revelations 2 i don't believe i ever ended up putting you in the xbox and it's going in i'm
like i'm like opening up like fucking i'm busting out like the switch like games that i downloaded and forgot about i'm like gaming so much and then i'm like sitting down and i'm like uh oh lord of the rings
extended cut trilogy right fucking now and it's like these are things like adult diapers it's
movie watching time realistically though like i mean like you guys if you like if you like gaming or
you like tv you know some people need to get out there i don't need to get out there i would do it
but i don't need to so i'm cool like you know twisting up blazing and playing a game and
watching some shit and like doing it at the same time like i have like a tv running the switch on and my laptop
is like just playing like youtube fucking just two hour movie about two hour movie about you guys
yeah like literally like i'm just consuming and it's it's easy and uh there are moments and this
is how i know everyone's fucking losing their mind or they're going to, is because I've had a couple moments where I've been like, I can't with this shit anymore.
And that's me.
And it's just a brief moment.
And then I'm like, damn.
I'm like, if I have that thing briefly for like five minutes, there must be some people out there that are tripping.
But, you know, like, I mean, I'm an inside guy.
Like, I like gaming.
I like chilling.
Like, you know, how are you guys doing?
If I had weed, it'd be so much easier.
I just wouldn't care even a little bit.
But, you know, at some point, you're just kind of like,
you've cleaned the house twice today.
And you're just so bored.
I've scrolled all the way through, like, my TV channels,
like every one of them.
I've opened and closed Netflix eight times
to see if there's something on there I want to watch.
I've walked back into here to see if anybody's on Discord
talking or chatting about something.
I've looked at what the game releases are going to be,
and I'm just like, I've talked to my dad,
I've talked to my mom, and I'm just like,
whew, all right, been up for one hour.
Now what?
I got a good one.
You could take Netflix movies and sync them together. Yeah. All right. Been up for one hour. Now what? I got a good one.
You could take Netflix movies and sync them together.
Yeah.
We should fucking.
We could all hang out and watch a movie.
We do this and put on a movie synced up.
We can literally watch it together.
I'd enjoy that, actually.
I do that with friends a good bit.
We usually try to watch.
We did Mandy together a few months back. Love that.
That's a good one.
I've been trying to get all my friends to watch uh death wish one because i think it's like at this point
it's a comedy at this point you know like like he's just smoking bad guys in new york city like
with no fucking no mercy he's the original john wick and uh and it's fun and it's funny oh death wish oh i did watch
this oh my god that's so funny yeah fucking charles bronston on second thought can you
imagine watching a movie together with all of us in there we wouldn't hear a single line
it would just be there's no talking allowed there's no talking no it depends you have to
choose a movie that is not like no you got to choose a movie that's like one that you're not
going to be upset with like my friend movie night we watched velocipaster right yes i've been waiting i've
been waiting to watch that how was it it was worth the 70 minutes for sure like it was
absurd slightly xenophobic like like everything you want from a cut rate b movie yeah xenophobic
that's a great one raptors no i'm down to do a watch of samurai
cop anytime why do they have to be bad movies there's good ones i'm sure i haven't seen and
kyle is snoring aloud movies no because snoring is allowed because we'll just mute you like
bloodshot with vin diesel is like the perfect type of movie i haven't even seen it yet
and i can tell you a vin diesel action movie that's
a good one you watch i don't know how many old yeah woody how many movies would you guesstimate
you and i have watched together whether in person or like like you know streaming or whatever
14 18 something does that sound right ish you slept through three of them
three of them do you remember which three i can remember there was one about a talking teddy bear
ted too i love that talking teddy bear it's ted too like it was ted too like you just started
watching this talking teddy bear movie and it has a big number two on it not that you need part one
for all the lore of the universe but i just, it's just funny that you're like Ted too.
It had just started.
We were barely through the previews.
I was tuckered out.
It might have been a paintball.
It was a paintball trip.
Yeah.
And then the other one, I don't remember the movie.
Maybe Chiz does.
But it was me, Chiz, and Woody sitting in a call like this.
And it was a good movie.
Chiz and I are both going back and forth.
Yeah, yeah, look at this, this, and that.
Oh, yeah, wasn't he great in this movie, and blah, blah, blah.
And we just hear...
The Equalizer.
It was The Equalizer.
That's a great movie.
It's a movie about Denzel Washington
where he's killing people with shot glasses
through the eyeball and stuff.
And nail guns, right? A nail gun?
Anything.
He does that thing where he stops time in his own head
and imagines how he's going to kick the shit out of i love i love that in movies and i also love in
movies they talk about this last time on i always have this whenever i'm here that that i like that
movies where like it stops and they calculate shit or they stop and like it's slow and they
explain something to you or whatever and i i love also when movies start off with like uh uh like news reports cut
up and intersplaced creating the universe or whatever like in like dawn of the dead when it
starts off i love when movies start like that i love that shit like exposition is what that's
called and i and it is literally in always tell you're watching a great movie
when you turn it on Netflix
and it's just two people walking next to each other
in a sparsely populated high school hallway
to set the scene.
It's like,
Susan, what are you doing after school today?
It's like,
Oh, Joanne, my friend and favorite cousin,
I'm going to sleep in my boyfriend's house
for the local festival our town does every year since the event.
And it's like,
no,
I like,
like,
it's not just limited to that.
It's like,
it's,
it's that overall,
like you remember like in,
in planet of the apes when at the end he,
he coughed into his hand and he goes to the airport and then they're showing all the connecting flights and it shows how it's spread out all over the world like i like when they like i like when there's like a
university remember here's a perfect example remember children of men yes yeah very well
great movie i loved it but i wish i got a movie about baby diego remember they always just showed
yeah baby diego he was the youngest baby the last born person i found that so fascinating
in itself too that would make a black mirror a good black mirror episode yeah it was yeah so
such an odd little quirky future kind of thing the lat for everyone who doesn't know children
of men is about a future where women have stopped being fertile and having babies and nobody knows
exactly why and baby diego quote unquote was the last baby born on
earth and now he's like a 25 year old man uh yeah and then they they'd show they would cut to like
fake cnn reports about him and you'd see him and i always just found that interesting you know
people rip on exposition as a way to open a movie kyle help me with the title what's the
tom cruise time travel movie where he plays a guy with fights? It's Minority Report.
It's not the one I'm going over.
No, no.
Live, Die, Repeat.
Oh, that's Live, Die, Repeat.
Live, Die, Repeat.
Edge of Tomorrow.
Edge of Tomorrow.
Yeah.
That movie is 10 on 10.
And I've seen it so many times.
I love that movie.
And it started off with news reports.
Like a CNN with a chyron at the bottom.
And they're kind of explaining battles lost and won and what the problem is and i don't knock them forward at all you know in two minutes we understand the universe
yeah i don't knock sloppy exposition is terrible perfect exposition is great like terminator starts
off with you know there's some exposition in there, you know, August 29th, 1990.
Like, she goes, she breaks it down, right?
Terminator 2, like, what happened? They dropped the bombs on us.
Judgment Day.
And so, like, when it's good, it's good.
And when it's bad, it's horrible.
When it's normal, I just think that the vast majority,
like, the bell curve of awful exposition,
it's, like, very much towards that side. I think that normal movies that of of awful exposition is it's like very much towards that side i think
that normal movies that start off with exposition especially the news clips are like indicative of
when you're reading your like classmate from high school's like history paper and they're like
conquer noun like or like and then they give the definition of conquer and you're like well yeah
yeah but like you know there's better ways to do it.
In this article, or in this essay on Alexander the Great, we'll talk about what it means to be a homosexual.
It's defined in...
I watch a lot of Next Generation, and there's a character on it who, essentially, she can sense people's emotions.
Oh, Diana Tremblay.
And their feelings. Yeah, exactly.
Played by Miriam. Essentially, she can sense people's emotions. Oh, Diana. And their feelings. Yeah, exactly.
And like, sometimes aliens come in and they're just, yeah, exactly.
Aliens come in sometimes and they're like, and everyone's like, and then she's like,
oh, I sense from them. They come from the planet, this planet, and they're angry because they need this and that
and this and that.
And they're like, so we should do this, this episode.
And she's like, yes.
And like, that's how that episode begins. She's the most
worthless character. I hate her
so much. She's just there. She's just
there literally for exposition.
They really need her there. She's there for tits
and ass and exposition and she does both
poorly because she has no tits and she has
what I call long back syndrome.
She's awful. And they put
her in this cat suit and you don't get a camel toe until like season three when she's working out with the doctor.
I know this episode.
You know the episode where her and the doctor are doing like calisthenics with a mirror perfectly behind them.
And they're doing like squat thrusts and like that thing where you sit Indian style and flex your knees out and stuff.
I always thought her hotness was way overestimated.
Way overrated. First of all, her name is mirianna certis she is a rape victim in going
back again death wish 2 i believe she's laying on the floor all topless and she was complaining
she's like can i can i put something on and the director's like no we need to get the lighting
right so she's laying there titties out for like two hours.
And so she cries at expos when she talks about how thankful she was for Star Trek,
giving her a career that didn't require tits and ass.
Speaking of Star Trek girls, you guys know Seven of Nine?
Jerry Ryan?
Yeah, that's a good one.
Arguably a top one.
Her husband would take her to sex parties, and that came out in the divorce proceedings.
That's pretty cool.
Those are some lucky sex party participants, right? Imagine if...
Dude, if I had a deck of cards, right?
And my wife is the ace of hearts,
I don't take her to a sex party
and just take whatever card you brought.
You know I'm going to end up with some jack or ten.
Kyle's going to say something here.
The sex party that you take Jerry Ryan to
is not just a random bicycle deck
that you pick up at the dollar store.
Yeah, there you go.
It's all kings and queens and aces in there.
I hear you, but if you're married to Gal Gadot,
I feel like I locked that shit in and don't share.
Yeah, but you know what?
That's just the type of person you are.
Maybe that's it.
I think you go there and you're
getting basically some Justice League
level
quality pre-melt.
That's what you're getting.
There's a whole league out there.
I just can't imagine it would smell good even in a high class one of these.
They mop those things down and disinfect them every night.
Yeah, but there's a lot of sweaty men with their trophy wives.
Oh, I'll tell you.
I'll tell you.
I wouldn't do it.
I wouldn't do it.
No, I wouldn't do it.
I wouldn't even go.
No, I wouldn't even go solo.
There's like a sex club here in Toronto.
And like, you can go there and it's like free for women or men pay like 40 bucks or something.
And you get in there and you can like be naked or have a towel wrapped around you or a robe.
And you have like kind of like a green card or a red card.
And it's like green means like you can approach me and talk to me and touch me.
Red means I'm just watching.
And like people go and like fuck
on the couches and there's like a hot tub there and everything and just the thought of it is like
i don't want it it's like a brazilian steakhouse you flip that card no more cock for me
is there a yellow card we're like hey i'll just blow you there is there is a middle there is some
middle ones.
I don't know.
I never ended up going, so I don't know.
So you're absolutely right.
Seven of nine, one of the hottest.
That catsuit they had her in, she would faint between takes.
It was way, way too tight for her.
It actually has like a corset where there's like bone in there.
Not actual like animal bones, but it's called boning.
To really cramp in her ribs, which is super hot.
Jolene Blaylock on the Star Trek Enterprise, which was awful.
She was their fucking tits and ass appeal.
She was really hot.
And then Deep Space Nine had Dax, who I thought was really hot.
Yeah, that's a good one.
And even Colonel Kira had the wrinkled nose.
Yeah.
Oh, no.
She also has long back syndrome, though.
It's outrageous.
I'm not sure long back syndrome isn't just the outfit not fitting right.
When you see Jerry Ryan in her outfit, she does not have long back syndrome.
Her outfit's designed not to have long back syndrome.
Who's the hot one who died early on in Next Generation?
Short blonde hair?
Yeah, she got replaced by Worf.
Oh, she died in real life?
Yeah, her character in that show was like...
She didn't die in real life, did she?
No, she didn't die in real life.
She fucked Data.
She did fuck Data at one point, I believe.
Tasha Yar was the character.
She had a real hard go of it.
I think it's Rick Berman, the guy who was making the show at the time, was a real sexist piece of shit.
And he was paying her very little money.
And she came to contract negotiate.
And he was like, how about we just kill you by a big oil monster?
And she's like, what?
Well, no, hang on.
I'll back up.
No, the oil monster kills you tomorrow.
And so the next episode,
a fucking oil monster fucking zaps her,
and normally in Star Trek,
people get zapped,
and they're like, is he okay?
Yes, he's still breathing.
Well, we got to get him back to the ship,
and that's the ticking clock of the episode.
She gets zapped,
and they go, is she okay? And Rikericher just goes she's fucking dead yeah yeah and they're
like what no no he doesn't say fucking but he goes she's fucking dead you stupid jewish idiot
they do that's literally what he says on the show she dies they declare her as dead and remove all
hope that she might come back and And as a viewer of Star Trek,
who's seen not many main characters died year after year,
it's like,
all right,
all right,
but what's the catch,
right?
You know,
do you go down to hell and get her soul back?
Or is she now,
do you get to discover her in the oil monster?
And you just have to put her as they're saying it.
They're like,
what if we try the revivalizer?
No,
that won't work.
The bad fucking atmosphere is too hot.
There's too many stars in this quadrant.
And they never give it back.
They do give it back.
So later on, I believe Tashyar from an alternate reality pops into ours.
And there comes a time where there is a need to send some people back in time to finish a fight.
a need to send some people back in time to finish a fight. A wormhole gets created and these
people from the past come into our reality.
Tashyar is also there. Because they came into our reality, it was like
if a bunch of Civil War soldiers from the North
came to today and then all of a sudden the entire history changed
and the South had won. We were like, like whoa you guys got to go back and die because your heroic deaths were what spurred
the union on to win the war and they were all and you know and that's what happens they're like you
guys got to go back and die helping those klingons because it was your sacrifice that ended the
klingon federation war so they put tasha Yar in the fucking ship, send her back in time,
and we think she dies.
But what really happens is the Romulans kidnap
and turn her into a rape concubine
for the rest of her life.
She has a daughter with a Romulan senator.
And when she tries to escape with the daughter,
they execute her dead because the daughter rats her out.
The daughter grows up,
because they went
back in time to look just like her mom and now she's evil tasha yar who's half uh romulan and
she becomes a part of the show for maybe six episodes total huh the more you know the more
you know i've never watched an episode of star Trek I have no idea it's just not
I was a little too young for it
my family didn't, my parents didn't care
about it so I never had any like
driving force, it was like I should watch it
Star Trek is a great one, Star Trek
Next Generation I think is just like
you can like look up
you don't need to watch every episode, you can just look up
best episodes, must watch episodes
and they're like standalone amazing pieces that will literally –
like the best Star Trek episode is like five minutes in.
You're thinking to yourself, damn, what the fuck would I do?
Yeah.
What would I do if I were them?
There's always like choices or things.
Yeah, I guess I'm going to come in a cup and sip it.
Sip it slow.
Yeah, you're absolutely right about that.
There are a few episodes in TNG that I skip,
but my favorite is definitely Deep Space Nine.
I just re-watched Deep Space Nine about a week ago.
The whole fucking thing.
I mean, I may not know anything about Star Trek,
but we could talk about black 90s sitcoms,
Cosby Show, Fresh Prince, Family Matters.
Grew up on those.
Martin.
I never watched Martin.
I watched a little bit of Living Single.
You watched the white black sitcoms, right?
You didn't name any of these WB channels.
You're like, oh, I know the black sitcoms.
Cosby Show.
I just knew all the ones that were on Nick at Night because that was it.
You know what?
I just knew all the ones that were on Nick at Night because that was it.
You know what?
I remember my mom walking in and watching me watch Static X
and she was like, what is this superhero?
I'm like, oh, they gave him static electricity
and he rides manhole covers.
And my mom was like, what a shitty superhero.
And I was like, yeah, now you think about it.
All the other like white super superheroes
invincible can fly attic x static electricity man like right trash can lids oh is he a black
superhero yeah yeah it was the only one up at the carpet store are they trash can lids or manhole
covers that both i'm reading him writing one or the other.
I mean, at least
manhole covers is kind of cool.
He could stop flying and then launch
at someone and then give them a mild
shock.
I was talking to my dad yesterday
about what he's doing in the quarantine because
he's been very concerned about it. He's been locked down.
And he has a...
Internet's really poor where he is
so he doesn't even have it hooked up. He had so many disputes
with the internet company. He was like, you know what, just turn it off. So he watches
satellite, like DirecTV, and so that really limits the channels he has available
to him. He's been watching the first 48.
He'd never seen it before, you know, first 48 hours. It's where a crime is committed
and then we sort of follow the investigation
through the first 48 hours of it, because the saying is,
if you don't solve in 48 hours, the odds of solving it go way down.
He's like, you know, I'm not a racist man.
But I've noticed that 95, 96% of the criminals are black.
He's like,
I'm watching it.
And I'm just like,
is the show racist?
Like,
like,
like are those people racist?
And I'm like,
well,
I,
I,
I,
I,
I,
I,
I,
I,
I,
I,
I,
I,
I,
I,
I,
I,
I,
I,
I,
I,
I,
I,
I,
I,
I,
I,
I,
I,
I,
I,
I,
I,
I,
I,
I,
I,
I,
I,
I,
I,
I,
I,
I,
I,
I,
I,
I,
I,
I,
I,
I,
I,
I,
I,
I,
I,
I,
I,
I,
I,
I,
I,
I,
I,
I,
I,
I,
I,
I,
I,
I,
I,
I,
I,
I,
I,
I,
I,
I,
I,
I,
I,
I,
I,
I,
I,
I,
I,
I, I, I, mean, for the show, yeah, but also there's, you know,
a lot of crime. They get a lot
of white criminals and they're just like,
ah, that was real boring.
I was saying that to the point that the show's not racist.
It's blown out,
the footage, right? Because they're white and they're
shiny and bad footage.
You know what would be a really boring
thing to watch is like a banker white-collar
arrest where he's like, he'll be hearing from my attorneys attorneys i'll have you know we have three firms on retainer
and like saying yeah you know what i do like i do like american greed though you guys ever watch
american greed no what is it it's a good one it's kind of like pretty much what you just said but
like it's just better because you watch it and you're like oh what a piece of shit he already had a million
and he took a million more i hope he fucking dies in prison and then you just watch them catch him
and then like the best moments are watching him like lie on camera when you know they already
know and he's lying like i love that there's a youtube channel i watch and it's like the channel
itself is not necessarily the best but what they're showcasing is really interesting and it's like the channel itself is not necessarily the best but what they're showcasing is really
interesting and it's like the body language of this guy is he you must have seen it there's like
five videos that have like 30 million views but it's like the body language of this guy the moment
he gets arrested and the moment the cops have the evidence that will lock him away forever
and just like watching that moment when someone really knows they're fucked but they still are doubling down on the lie i like to just get the end when they really get theirs they get some
martha stewart home arrest for a few weeks and that's that's the punishment have you ever seen
the chappelle sketch about this there's a chappelle sketch where they flip it and what happens is the
cops treat the white color criminal like they do the black guy.
And they treat the black guy like they do the white-collar criminal.
You've got this classic, I don't know, 45-year-old white banker of some sort with his wife going to bed.
And he's just kind of like, yeah, yeah, well, hey, what the board doesn't know won't hurt him.
Am I right, honey? And she's like, yeah, let what what the board doesn't know won't hurt him i'm all right honey
and she's like yeah let's go to bed and the cops just burst into the room fucking like drag him out
on the floor and she's like what's going on he's like shut up bitch slam her on the floor cough him
start dragging him out the dog barks once they blow its brains out just kill the dog right away
this is and they do like silly special effects with the dog like just shoot him in the fucking
head its brains blow everywhere and then you know just He's pissing his pants literally in the interrogation. Bill Burr
is interrogating him, putting cigarettes out on him. Then they go to this black guy.
He's sitting there at a table full of drugs. He's got a bong. He's got gold teeth and shit.
He's played by Chappelle. And the police officer calls him. He's like,
excuse me, Mr. T-Money,
we have a bit of a problem.
You've been named in an indictment.
He's like, no shit.
We
got to take care of this.
That could be very embarrassing.
I agree, sir. If seen in the wrong light,
it could be rather embarrassing.
When would be a good time for you to come in?
Well, not today, but maybe Thursday around 3 p.m.
That sounds wonderful, Mr. T-Money.
We'll see you then.
And then, of course, he doesn't show up.
You know, he's hours and hours late, and they're just like apologizing for him time after time,
and they go back and forth.
It's really good.
Chappelle's hilarious.
He's one of the best ever.
I like it when he talked about his experience
with Kevin Hart. You guys probably saw that.
Kevin Hart's son is a
giant Kevin Hart fan. The guy's
doing a stadium of 80,000
people and Chappelle's
realizing he's not as big a comedian as Kevin Hart.
And it's hilarious.
Kevin Hart leans into it.
He gives David Chappelle's son
I think a Kevin Hart jersey to wear.
He's like, here, I take this little picture.
What an asshole.
Yeah, funny one though.
So petty but great.
I haven't watched much stand-up recently.
The Dave Chappelle's,
I still haven't watched the new Louis one.
Has anybody watched the new Louis CK special?
Gotta watch that Louis CK shit, man.
I heard it's hilarious.
Yeah, I heard it's really fucking good.
I really want to watch it.
It's only on his website.
I hope he's making lots of money.
Does it kind of explain the drama?
Does he cover it?
I don't know.
I haven't seen it,
but Chappelle's explanation about it
is actually really funny. When he talks about that drama. Oh, when he did it in his don't know. I haven't seen it, but Chappelle's explanation about it is actually really funny when he talks about that drama.
Oh, when he did it in a stand-up?
Yeah.
Yeah, when he did it in a stand-up,
he just addressed it in such a way that you're like,
man, you are legendary because you could touch any subject.
And even when I watched him, he kind of was like,
he hyped it up like he was going to go in on some things,
and I was like, no.
But everything he said, he's just so good at you being like, wow, you're kind of, that's funny because you're kind of was like he hyped it up like he was gonna go in on some things and i was like no but like everything he said he's just so good at you being like wow you're kind of that's funny because you're kind of right yeah and he has this like you can be mad at me if you want but i
you can't make me give a fuck about you being mad at me thing it feels like a waste of time to be
outraged against chapelle he's good at it yeah he's very like and i did finish three body problem by the way since last time i was here
yeah that was like fucking i didn't think i i don't know i i don't know if how i guess it's
not a big spoiler thing but i just never expected it to go so far yeah yeah like literally you at
one point i was reading i'm like wait we're like 400 years in the future now?
So one of the things about three-body problem for people that haven't seen it is you can hibernate.
And being able to hibernate and pick it up in the future is almost like time travel.
It creates an interesting class divide too, right?
You as a poor person might just live these 80 years.
But as a rich one, you might choose 20 now, 20 later, 20 down the road.
Anyway, these guys hibernate for a long, long time.
I think that may be because they're traveling.
And they exist at a time when like the whole universe, I guess, pulses, right?
See now the universe is constantly expanding.
Well, in this book, it shrinks back down into like a little speck and then goes out again, but over huge amounts of time.
And it gets pretty out there at
the end yeah it's i enjoyed the book that sounds interesting it makes you think though like you
have to pay attention to it maybe harley you didn't find the same thing but i was like
you know when you buy a video game they give you the minimum pc specs to play that game
i possess the minimum specs to understand this book
exact same thing yeah it was like there was a lot of things where like i went back and i was just
like oh it's probably a translation from chinese and i go back and i'm like no this was advanced
for me i had to read it three times yeah um and some things like they would say something i would
i would wikipedia or google something like a term in the book that was just interesting.
If you want an amazing book, I loved it so much.
It's one of the best things I've ever read.
It's called Mr. Mercedes and it's Stephen King.
And it's about a police officer trying to catch a killer.
It's pretty, there's, I'm writing it down right now.
If there is 0 zero zero zero one
percent supernatural stuff in this book i mean there there are like two lines of supernatural
on the last page of the book so like don't think it's your standard uh stephen king thing where
there's a build-up and then you're like oh wow everybody was vampires the whole time this is like
an old retired cop trying to
solve the murder that he could never solve because the murder has come out of retirement just to mock
him into committing suicide. That's the murderer's goal. This murderer had stolen a Mercedes. That's
why they call him Mr. Mercedes. That's what the newspaper called him. And he had ran over an entire
crowd of people at a job expo. He had crushed
women, babies, and men and killed, I don't remember the death toll, maybe nine and then crippled
several more. And, um, and the officer never caught him. And, uh, and now he's retired. He's
like 65, he's overweight. He's got a bit of a heart problem. And he's literally looking at his
dad's gun every night, thinking about killing himself. And Mr. Mercedes sends him this mocking video.
In the book, it's a letter.
In the TV show, which if you don't want to read the book, you could just watch the TV show.
Whoa, hold on now.
Yeah, wait a minute.
TV show?
There is a TV show that they made.
Oh, bro, I'll read this book tonight.
Yeah.
I'll read it all tonight.
It's short.
Yeah, I'm going to read it.
Read.
This is like 11-22-63.
Wait, what's the show called?
Mr. Mercedes.
Oh, so it's the same name.
I did just watch a Stephen King show that I really like called The Outsiders.
We love The Outsiders.
Yeah, that was great.
Yeah, okay.
Same page.
But it's okay because it was like it's like it wasn't like
game of thrones where i watched it all and i got to the end and i was like fuck you
yeah like game of thrones like i don't care about game of thrones merch or characters or anything or
the universe you lost me i don't give a shit at all but outside i was like okay i got to the end
and i was like all right you know if that's if that's what you want to do, that's what you want to do.
I'd have done a little bit different, but okay.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Mr. Mercedes. Did you watch that there was a
scene after the credits?
No, but I will now after the show. Don't
spoil it. Okay. And if you like
Mr. Mercedes, there's two more books
in that trilogy,
in a trilogy, but you don't,
it's not like there's a cliffhanger
is this show over now mr mercedes i know there's two seasons of it out i don't know i love i love
when shows are over right you told me the show's over and i'm like now i'm jumping in because i've
seen like a couple shows where i got and i got invested i was like this is sick and they're like
yeah it's over the show's done and i would recommend the book halfway
i would guesstimate that it's uh it's 400 pages or something like that so you could read it in
okay yeah yeah that's chill but these days it's easy you know what i mean you need to find other
shit because like every single show is going to be delayed an extra year now like osar season four
isn't coming to like 2022 we're're getting Rick and Morty in seven,
13,
10 days,
10 days,
I think more or less.
So that's coming soon.
And,
and then we get UFC hopefully in what?
15 days,
two and a half weeks.
How are they going to do that in Florida?
No,
it'll be no crowd.
I don't know where the venue is well i know no
crowd but like i do like florida it's a reasonable guess one would just assume i mean one would just
assume right and then i know that um uh vince um from wwe uh like had a whole meeting with trump
and then convinced him to do wwe over in in florida and like open that up without crowds, as far as I know.
So I was just like, fuck it.
It's not happening in California.
Probably not happening in Vegas either.
I think for the long term, he bought or leased or something.
There's going to be a Fight Island where people go and fight.
I don't know if Fight Island's happening anymore.
Oh, those same jeans was for sale.
Yeah, just like how the
health details about this virus seem to
change every day. And if you
haven't contacted Fauci today,
you could easily say something
wrong.
What they're doing with the UFC
events also changes literally
daily. Like Dana
will be like, yes, we're doing this and then
that and then this and then that. Guaranteed.
My name's not
Dana Jones.
I'm doing it.
Dana Jones.
Then the next day it's like, oh, all events
are canceled until next year.
You never know what the fuck's
going to happen, but I heard Fight Island might be off.
There's still last I heard
going ahead with the May 9th event, though I'm hearing that Amanda Nunez might not be in it,
but that's enough MMA talk.
I don't want to get drowned down.
I have a new topic.
Please.
Are you guys familiar with the porn star Heather?
Heather from IDeepthroat.com?
Heather Brooks.
Heather Brooks.
Does everyone know this legend?
Yes.
Tell me everything.
I want the Woody explanation, that i want the kyle
explanation heather brooke is a role model because i like he's like you know about heather and kyle's
like heather brooks it's just like i want to know both like i want the like you get her all right
it's not the character from gray's anatomy hold. Hold on a second. You guys, even though you don't know her name, you might be familiar with her work.
She is a blowjob master.
Master.
She has the oldest blowjob video I've ever seen in my entire life.
I remember watching her suck dick when I was like 14.
I believe it.
I believe it.
Wait, wait.
So what do I type here?
Heather Brooke.
Heather Brooke.
Yeah.
B-R-O-O-K-E. Here. I need a moment. to leave it wait wait so wait what do i type here heather brooke heather brooke yeah so here
i need a moment so heather brooke is the best that there's ever been right she did a blowjob
tutorial video that i made my wife watch this woman this woman reigns supreme as the top blowjob giver in the history of mankind her comeback was this week she's not no it's true
she's on chatter is she rough this was like 20 years ago those videos what's the what's the score
now is it should we let the memory live in a nice place is what i'm saying bro look at dude look
at all right so this is how old this
this video is time stamped
in the year 2000
obviously don't show it
but like like look at the computer
that there's oh my
god what a time I was
in high school right you guys know
her oh I've jerked
off to this I knew you'd be familiar with her work
this is back when the internet had 612 porno videos yeah this is this is like the mona lisa
of porn yeah this is like this is a part of culture you're acting yes yes this is a part
of western culture people People watch this,
this is back in the day, people are like,
whoa, she puts it
all so deep
down her mouth.
There should be
a word for that.
So we can,
we can archive this
and easily find it later.
It's a good word
when someone
can put it all in.
Yeah.
We should make
a name for that.
And she has this
great move
that when her husband's finishing
she doesn't like let him spray
here or there no
she deposits it directly into her stomach
she hates messes
well no she made a mustache
she made a mustache in this one first
she still hasn't chumped out
intubate intubate now
if you go to her If you go to her
Pornhub, you click her
link, there's a 3 hour
45 minute 15 second
compilation video of Heather
She's a legend!
She's a legend!
Is it the same one?
Is it the same one?
It's clearly the same one
The second most recent link is straight to IG.
Oh, this is going to sound gay.
I meant dick.
Yes.
It's the same dick.
It is.
Yeah, she's still married to the same guy.
She was always like...
That's pretty cool.
Her thing was she's like the best wife to have ever wifed.
And it kind of holds up because she's still with him.
What just...
Oh, we got...
It's a real cock gobbler.
There's a comment on one of her videos from four years ago
that says i sure from in the 72s it's a there's a profile picture is a naked photo of a fat man
semi-erect and he says i sure miss her all right 15 corviz says 15 years and nobody even came close to Heather. That is like she literally asks,
does anyone want to play destiny on Xbox one?
He's got his,
he's got his cock in his hand when he wrote that.
I don't make it past 20 minutes.
LOL.
Nice job,
Heather.
Yeah.
They're replying to each other.
Yeah. It's just a bunch of guys that's weird so she's back to another i guess i love when you go to these sites back in the day there was a
point there was a point when you would go to these sites and like you would like hit a button or
whatever like you'd like be looking at your like video and it's like share this video yes literally
and if you click it now it it's like, tweet this.
Send to Reddit.
Share on Google+.
Send to StumbleUpon.
God forbid anyone ever knew what I'm jerking off to.
That's what Ted Cruz did.
Ted Cruz did that.
You remember that?
Yes, you're right.
Okay, yeah, I do.
But you know what?
I still don't want people to see mine.
Yeah, neither do I.
It's been hard for me lately.
Like, on my anime list, but it's like my anime list.
Oh, I'm like, yeah.
Like, I like, I'm like searching, like, mutant and stranger.
You're like lockdown honey wants to, like, risque outdoor fun.
Oh, you're just now getting mutant.
Hey, that's okay. I'm like, oh
So cute. You just got to mutants yesterday
Yeah, the comments on these videos are just like it's all doing what you guys are we all just did it's all reminiscent
This guy just goes I remember this video being a lot longer
It's longer anyone have that one love when she pulls out her tits
she's a legend that's that's a bot because that's something you can comment on every point video
she she's a legend 1999 she raised the game for blowjobs in Western culture.
And now she's back.
Dude, this is back.
In the same way that YouTube gaming has gone from YouTube to Twitch,
she has gone from Pornhub to Chatterbait.
She's like the angry Joe gaming of sucking dick.
So what does she look like now?
I keep showing you the picture just scroll up oh
she's the angry joe of anal gape she's she's she's like uh it looks like she's given it i
think she has grown her her breast size uh she has her tits have clearly grown her titties are
bigger than your fucking head, dude.
Yeah.
Like, look at those things.
Yeah.
They look like they hurt.
They look like they hurt.
And not just her back.
They look like they're literally aching.
Like, you know when you're making water balloons as a kid, and it finally gets to that point where the water balloon just starts, like,
jiggling in the bottom of the fucking sink?
And you're like, oh, I probably should stop, but now I'm confused.
Now I want to know where this is headed.
That's where her titties have gone.
Way too big.
There is such a thing as too big.
I don't know. You want to see them out, though?
Yes.
Why even ask?
Oh no, Kyle, please don't link it.
No, there's so many places.
She has her own subreddit, of course.
It's rheatherbrook.
B-R-O-O-K-E.
Comments there.
Her app.
So, yeah, I'll just link the subreddit.
It seems safe.
Yeah, I just want to see her subreddit.
Yeah, I won't just go picture by picture.
Third, if you scroll down, you get to see her ass.
Very tight for a woman who I must imagine is 25 or 45 years old.
Oh, yes. I was was like brother um holy shit what
the hell i'm gonna i gotta be honest with you not my cup of they're gargantuan they're no same it's
not something i'm about it's not a thing that i it's not a thing that i need that I kind of went. Oh my god.
Go down.
She literally was running
IDeepthroat.com.
That's her website.
I forgot.
One of her challenges is that it's not just that
she's competing out there with the porn world.
She's competing with her former self.
Everyone looks at her.
That's not a competition she can win.
I'm looking at her subreddit and scrolling down and it's like
alright, that's who she is.
Okay for her age.
And then you see young her and it's like
oh, cream of the crop.
As good as it gets.
It's just not.
All in all in general, she looks like
a very wonderful lady and I'm sure
she's a phenomenal wife.
Not my style.
They were not this big back in the day.
They weren't.
They were not.
Go ahead, Tucker.
Finish your thought, please.
Sorry.
No, just like some of the content is being posted on here.
You got to wonder, like, who posted that? Oh, boy.
That wasn't supposed to click up like that. There's no nudity. no nudity no nudity no there's not but i wouldn't have shown
but it's just like hi i'm heather it's just like get her on the show see i see that her web hosting
skills stayed in the 90s right oh yeah it's true it says it said it says my husband jim and i are
restarting a website first if you have any questions or, email me at heatheridthroat.com.
That's so funny.
I personally reply to every email.
Yeah.
It's funny.
My husband and I are restarting the website very soon.
If you have any questions or comments, what I wouldn't give to see some of those concerns
that fans have had that they had to email.
But Heather, quick question.
When am I going to jerk off to you what the fuck is jim doing right now i'm kind of like it's weird also now that you watch
the videos if you did now it's weird because i'm like that's jim's dick i didn't want the dick to
have a name but now it does well it just says on her website, my husband, Jim.
So even worse, I'm picturing what Jim is.
And it's worse than what he is.
He is me.
I'm imagining me, but worse.
Heather types like a boomer.
What do you think happened?
What do you think happened in their life in the last year or two where they're like,
honey, you got to start sucking my dick on camera. I got laid off. thing happened in their life in the last year or two where they're like honey you gotta start
sucking my dick on camera i got laid off yeah he was like he was like oh babe i need a blow job
you know what i choose i believe i choose to believe that they have that because of the virus
they're locked indoors she's sucking a lot of dick and he's just like you know what let's dust
off the old panasonic baby let's yeah yeah that's that's
what he wanted he wanted a blow job she's like no i don't want to do that i'm so tired i've
sucked a thousand he's like you want to bring back the old channel should we bust out the website
again this is like the macintosh baby let's do this thing or maybe she had kids and now they're
out of the house and like back to it. She's a legend though.
She's like,
wait,
hold on.
Is this an actual email here?
Yeah,
that's an email.
But I,
and I know I'm just going through,
I just sorted like by old emails.
It's from like,
this post is from a couple of months ago.
Somebody has found that she is the deputy art director in Nevada museum of
art.
Oh,
well,
don't like,
I don't want to.
Yeah.
Well,
I guess she's out there now.
Oh that's her real name?
Her real name isn't Heather?
I'm just looking at the.
I don't know.
I don't know.
Oh I'm seeing this now.
I like her more now.
She looks.
Yeah.
She looks good.
Like I didn't know this was like.
Before I was like.
Oh she's such a mean dick.
And now I'm like.
Oh.
Now you're like.
Oh Heather.
A woman of taste!
She's a cocksucker of culture.
Yeah.
Yo, Jim's gonna be pissed when he watches this.
Jim's not gonna be pleased, man.
Or Jim's gonna be the type of guy
that's like, hey, I'll be better!
Oh, my wife!
Jim's a co-participant in this thing.
Why does Jim have a stoma?
Honestly, I gave him some
almost Randy Savage vibe.
It's so much better
in his life.
No, more. Keep going.
Oh, I should go.
Well, we appreciate it.
We appreciate you
coming on, Harley, as always it's it was hey i'll come
on whatever you want baby we like to make our transition as smooth as possible and and we
failed at that miserably so thank you for coming on the show we always love having you you're the
best love you guys you guys are awesome thank you so much sorry i bailed that first time
obviously it still bothers you wo, and that's very clear,
and I apologize for not getting around.
Just because you were like, it was Harley.
Harley was supposed to be there.
I only guessed it was you because you were on the show.
I got it wrong, so that's even worse.
I'm just kidding around.
But thanks for having me, guys.
Congratulations on everything.
Seriously, this was like one of the first podcasts I ever went on,
and I never got to share it with you guys.
But I leave, and I go out places i do shit i go out and like probably like 50 times in my life someone's
been like yo harley and i'm like this guy wants to talk bacon he's like pka baby and like i do
like i i genuinely i've been like recognized and and stuff like that even here in canada and toronto
like there's like like i get noticed for being on pka like so it's always been cool it's been an opportunity since day one and it
was fun and i just remember the the old days and i can't believe it's been going on this whole time
and uh you're all beauties thanks a lot man and too many more years and i'll catch you guys on
the next one or whatever yep stay safe oh and the rest of you guys you the next one or whatever. Yep. Stay safe. Oh, and the rest of you guys, you can follow me on HarleyPlays on Twitter
or EpicMealTime on YouTube.
We've actually been dropping some – I've been dropping by myself some new stuff,
quarantine content.
Go check it out.
Thanks a lot, guys.
All right. Peace.
Thanks, Harley.
Later, buddy.
All right.
All right.
I'm going to piss while Filthy joins,
and then I'll do a couple of advertisements.
Oh, look, it's Mr. Filthy Roeweir.
Hey, guys.
All right.
I'm going to do...
It's good you just got in here, Filthy.
You're not going to believe it.
It's time for me to read an ad.
See you later.
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Just makes sense.
You don't want to be going out. I don't care
what Trump says. It's not safe yet.
It's not safe yet. Logic. Logic and
reason. Stay at home. Don't be a
Karen. Don't be a Karen.
Your hair looks fine.
Stay at home.
My hair looks awful.
It looks fine, Karen. Calm right? Stay at home. My hair looks awful. No, it looks fine, Karen.
Calm down.
Stay at home.
I'm in love with the concept that these, like, Patriot preppers think they can stay underground for seven months,
and then three weeks into it, they have to get their hair cut.
These people do not look like preppers to me.
I feel like preppers take things into account that you wouldn't even know.
The preppers are all skinheads, I promise.
These guys have Confederate flags and AR-15s.
They're prepper kinds.
And I choose to believe.
I make my own reality.
Lots of people have Confederate flags and AR-15s.
Preppers do.
Well, let me tell you about smart mouth because everyone hates talking to someone.
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So head on over to smartmouth.com pka now for your free coupon you can find smart with products in the oral help
aisles of walgreens cbs target right aid amazon walmart or wherever you shop once again smart
mouth.com pka for your coupon yes check them out welcome aboard filthy yes go on how you guys doing
very well i have been uh you, I'm working from home now,
and I've found that a wonderful little thing to put on while I'm typing things up,
working on Excel, is watching your ass play Total War Warhammer 2 campaign.
It's great, man.
I'm really enjoying it.
Yeah, and watching you learn it, like, is helping me learn more because I never really did the campaign that much.
I jumped right into multiplayer online.
And so the campaign bit, first of all, it's so goddamn
complicated. Are you feeling pretty
competent with it now?
I'm annoyed with the tooltips. I hate tooltips that lie to me.
And I'm finding that the tooltips
are full of shit in that game right now.
So I'm enjoying the process of figuring it out.
I think the game's great, but I'm annoyed that the information
is not well presented.
Is the game new? Did they just drop one?
No, this is the one that Kyle and I
played a while back.
I just got around to it.
Is it like the campaign tooltips where it'll be that
no matter what faction you play as,
the Lizardmen, the Orcs, the Dark Elves,
it's the same guy with a staff
and a fucked up eye being like,
you will rule the world.
What you want to do first is prioritize
the Dwarves of the North, and then you do that and you get buttfucked by the dwarves of the north and then you do that
and you get butt fucked by the orcs from the south and you're like you bitch the dwarves
weren't even coming after me they were like trying to trade me silvers so yeah no ignore that guy
no it's it's without getting into too much there's really bad tool tips right there's one
that i'm trying to compare damage during a unit that has a range and like a melee option
and the range option and when you mouse over it and hover,
finally,
it tells you it's over 10 seconds.
And the melee option is like,
you have to do like six calculations to get to what the actual fucking damage out of it is.
And you're just like,
God damn,
I should never on a tool tip.
If I'm trying to compare two units have to do math ever.
I should just be able to look at it too and be like,
okay,
this one tells me this one does more damage than this one in melee.
And this one does more damage in range.
That should be it.
If I'm doing math, I'm not having fun.
Yeah.
I'm not having fun.
I'm fine with it, but I don't want hidden details.
Every time I do finally get there, someone in chat goes,
oh yeah, they have a hidden attribute.
It's called momentum.
You can't figure that out.
You just have to know by playing it.
But momentum is vastly important to the impact of that unit.
I'm like, oh, okay.
Well, that's great.
It's so complicated.
What happened?
Did you have that on your hand the last time we saw you? Or wrist's just repetitive stress shit right like repetitive emotion just gaming hard yeah it's a lot of masturbation yeah that's
what chat said today they're like uh did you have some sort of uh masturbatory accident and i said
you know yes just in case i'm prepared who hasn't't? This is preventative, not reactive.
Congratulations, by the way.
Thank you.
I don't think I've actually met Tucker, but I just want to congratulate you guys
on 10 years. Hey, Tucker.
You know what? I'll co-opt those few years
I wasn't there.
Yeah.
You really did it, man.
You made it this far.
Six and a half years.
I'll tell you, I didn't think they'd make it this far. Yeah, six and a half years i'll tell you i didn't think they'd
make it this far yeah me neither nobody did i didn't think for sure i've been like when woody
texted me and it's so funny going back like you guys i remember the video you made where it's like
lefty out merkin like you guys spent so much of that video being like we were going back and forth
with contract negotiations and this and that with lefty and so and so and then i just remember what he texted me out of the blue one day hadn't spoken in months was like
hey i want to do pka we'll pay you x a week yeah just showed up that week
been a hot minute you know simple as fuck so yeah filthy uh i'm sorry not filthy lefty acted like
he was negotiating like he was negotiating.
Like he was a star pitcher or something for the Marlins
and we were about to trade.
And he had the Braves and the fucking Padres
to consider or something like that.
I don't know what his problem was.
I had a problem with him as a person,
but I just couldn't stand him on the show.
We got a good dynamic now.
Yeah.
I'm curious how he's doing in life i wonder what he's up to what like why are you also considered truly why like who else are you curious about like hey
i guess it's a natural state for me i think that about people i went to high school with i thought
i was about to use that as an example like yeah care about that guy he went to eighth grade with
that moved to seattle that summer like i just might know who died yeah he probably you
probably aren't actively thinking like you don't wake up every morning you're like what is miss
kim from eighth grade class like what is she doing but sometimes like recently i had a friend from
high school text me and and they said yo uh a friend of ours or a mutual past friend of ours
sent me this photo with us in it and I like looked in the
background and I saw somebody dressed up super
weird it must have been like spirit week and I'm like
what are you up to like like
now I'm just curious like are you alive still
and he got fat and he
runs like a like a medical
wing in a university
I'm wondering
I'm wondering how
Mrs. Monty's tits are holding up.
My seventh grade English teacher.
They were enormous.
Miss Monty is the name of my college guidance counselor from high school that I was just talking to this morning.
Because I'm friends with her.
And I was like, what the fuck?
Does she have tits bigger than your head, too? Bigger no it's bigger than your head bigger than taylor's head don't
age well ever right well she was like mid like she's probably like 23 at the time yeah that's
the guy who i i told you that there was that that hilarious obese black guy tyrese who had her
something like that and he would sit in the back in every class
except in this class, he would sit front
and center, right?
Miss Monty would sit there with her giant
fucking tits. It was like, you know at the time
here in seventh grade, you don't really know
the norms, but if Taylor
right now walked in, I'd be like
taking her aside, be like,
do you think this is an appropriate way to dress in front of 12-year-old boys?
Do you think they're learning anything about exposition or writing? No, of course not.
Your enormous tits are hanging out. They're learning about
light and she would sometimes not wear
underwear. She taught me
to learn
nothing. She had some big old
donker. Yeah, and she sometimes wouldn't
none of the rest of us could confirm this, so I thought
Tyrese was lying, but he said she wouldn't wear
underwear sometimes and that was why he sat in front
of her to see her cross. like at lunch sometimes because we had
it before lunch you'd be like y'all see that when she crossed her legs today and like it's like no
no we didn't tyrese and he's like oh i had a teacher i got the best seat in the house yeah
so my seventh grade english teacher was widely known for touching her own boobs i don't know
what the scoop was what the deal was at, I thought maybe it was a girl thing
where I was just uninformed.
But even the girls gave her a hard time
for touching her own boobs.
In what way?
Can you demonstrate?
Just like, you know,
the strutting around.
Just like lifting them.
I think she adjusted her bra constantly
and just, you know, like, I don't know,
like had to fiddle with them or something.
And...
Need a hand, ma'am?
The last day of school, she put on a sweater that had two hands grabbing her own boobs that she wore to class all day long.
So she knew.
Like she owned the joke or something.
Like, yeah.
Everyone was like, oh, my God, can you believe?
Like, she's the boob-touching teacher.
And she did it.
Like, oh, my God, can you believe?
Like, she's the boob-touching teacher.
And she did it.
I mean, what was it about seventh-grade teachers?
Because my seventh-grade math teacher would not wear a bra. And she had nice boobs, but she had rock-hard nips.
And they were, like, very poignant and very noticeable.
Like a pencil wrist.
Rock-hard nipples are amazing.
They made great points.
I don't know why more girls don't take advantage of this. Those were concise nipples are amazing they made great points I don't know why more girls don't take advantage
of this right? Those were concise nipples
they could cut right to the heart of an issue
it was
distracting
if I was a girl trying to get attention
I would absolutely do something to keep
those nipples hard and poking out
right? Me at the
yeah me at the bar scene
as like a 22 yearyear-old girl,
you would be very aware
of the presence of my nipples.
You'd be a real whore.
Yeah, I would.
They're totally poignant nipples, evoking a keen
sense of sadness and regret.
This is Stephen King.
According to Webster, poignant nipples.
A sense of sadness and regret
because you never got to suck them, maybe.
I love when people two like, two words sound
a bit alike, and they completely... Like, Michael
Scott, when he's giving that wedding toast,
he's like, it's a wedding.
He goes, Webster defines
a wedding as the fusing
of two metals with a hot torch.
And you're like, that's welding,
you asshole!
That is really funny.
That's a good thing.
We all know webbing is the space between a duck's toes.
Or your inbred cousin's fingers.
Do inbred people get webbing?
No, but we should breed some fucking Michael Phelps
super inbred duck hand slimmer.
Think of how far behind we are in the race.
China's been doing this shit for 20 years.
They've already got duck men living underground
creating their own parallel society.
Okay, Kramer. Yeah, how are you telling this joke
not as Alistair? We've had a
pig man since 95 at least.
Pig man?
We've had frog men.
95? What happened in 95?
The episode of Seinfeld about the pig man.
They were like, well, can we do it?
Yeah, I can't do any Kramer impressions.
This is what Al Gore leaned into that with the man bear pig.
We saw another glimpse of it in pop culture, so you're right.
I'm super serial.
I'm serial, guys.
It's the man bear pig.
They wanted to know if they could do something,
but they never asked if they should.
When does the new South Park come out?
I feel like it's been forever since the new South Park season came out.
I don't know.
I'm looking forward to it.
I thought last season was good.
I want them to rip on Tiger King.
I think they could do a whole season parodying Tiger King very, very easily.
And, you know, Kenny getting eaten by tigers.
And I don't know.
Randy Marsh could do something in there.
He could open a tiger farm.
He could be the Tiger King for all I care.
It would be great.
How many episodes are normally in a South Park season, 12 or 24 or 20?
I think now they're so successful they're like down to 10 or something, 10 or 12.
Yeah, so that's like the one thing that I think South Park could do really well now,
but they won't because they don't need to make all this content is like
have mini arcs,
you know,
give us three episodes on,
on tiger King,
right?
Like give me a little,
some of their best stuff has been many arcs.
The,
the imagination land,
many are hilarious.
Probably my favorite thing they've ever done.
It's three episodes.
Uh,
well,
we've talked about this a million times,
the mini arc,
fine.
Two or three episodes.
Don't do a full season arc.
I don't like that with South Park.
I hate in every show, anime, fucking real shows,
like break it down to consumable,
like three, five episode little... Yeah, shit, we don't have the attention span
for more than three of them.
I swear to God, it's not that.
It's that they run out of jokes.
So like the election one they did a few years ago
when Trump won, like it was clear how bad of an idea it was to do a full story arc because they expected hillary
to win and like so after the election episode happened it was like clearly they were panicking
like where do we go from here shit this arc already isn't as funny as we thought we're drilling the
jokes into the ground whereas if they were doing like a three episode thing a two episode thing a
one-off like you can i don't know that engages me more yeah i agree with that i like when they're when they're really
operating off the seat of their pants uh and you're right because hillary did not win they
were caught um off the guard and they went to the member barry's storyline and it just wasn't very
good funny yeah that's just it was clearly a panic like uh crab people kind of thing they did
because usually the episodes where crab people show up, it's not funny.
And they've even admitted in interviews, they're like, crab people is a device we use if we cannot figure out how to end something.
We just put crab people as the bad guys.
They look like crab and they taste like people, dude.
Crab people.
Walk like crabs.
Talk like people.
Just like, what the hell? Yeah yeah that show does rock i love that
i'm getting so much little like uh like in this quarantine i'm watching my comfort shows
a lot like it's always sunny south park king of the hill like just any sort of downtime where i
need background like just comfort show show on throw on fucking season four king of the hill remind me what state you're in uh i live in saint missouri okay so you're still are you still
locked down yeah yeah i think we're or you're in uh wisconsin so we're definitely before the peak
oh really they haven't announced anything like we're kind of in like a indefinite until they
say something as far as i know we're yeah i i mean california's we're all committed like we're in it until fall like
like all the um because i do a bunch of work in music industry stuff all the nightclubs any like
uh artists that i've talked to and stuff like nobody's even booking shows or anything over
like a small like small live stream production until uh i think the
earliest i heard was my friend was like yeah i got scheduled for something in late august i'm like
that's not gonna happen so yeah that's that's not gonna happen like unless you're in georgia
for a few months from now oh yeah georgia in georgia right yeah he's opening stuff up now
and it's a huge mistake it's uh for sure we have like 15 000 cases or
something so as devils understand oh go ahead okay no well yeah i'll be short i just don't
understand why it's so difficult for uh those who are excited like every of course we want to go
back to normal or whatever the new normal will be but like how hard is it to understand that even if
you open up the movie theater i'm not going there so like you opening up the movie
theater does not magically create this like windfall of spending like i'm not going to the
movie theater this is going to be the thing that kills theaters like finally puts a nail on the
coffin for amc and warenberg like well there's no way tucker did i get a you're happy about that vibe from
your finally oh i don't see okay let me let me rephrase i don't see a lot of movies period um
and i usually send save them for like a lot of the traveling that i do there are certain movies
that i just feel are essential to see in a movie theater and i'll like go out of my way to see like
imax right like Like 1917 or Blade Runner
or just something that is really well shot
and you need that experience, cool.
Those can stay
and I don't think those are going to go away.
You're going to have movies.
1970 is so fucking good.
You're going to need to have those, right?
I haven't seen it yet.
Well, you should.
It's fantastic.
Highly recommend it.
They film it so it appears to be one shot
for an entire fucking movie.
Wow.
You're going to have a real hard time catching the cut.
Not nearly enough World War I movies also.
That's great. You're going to have a really hard time
catching any cuts. You'll see sometimes
the technique they use.
Like a pan over a dark object.
But there's never that quick cut and now we're here.
Who directed it?
That's amazing.
It's a true story.
It follows basically one guy the whole time. It is brutal at times. There's a good question i don't remember it it based it's a true story and it follows basically
one guy the whole time and it is brutal at times there's a scene early on i'm not spoiling anything
there's a scene early on where a character dies and you're like whoa whoa whoa that guy's dead now
yeah well shit okay here's a here's a do that here's a spoiler free I'll just link it for later. It's a four minute video that shows a side by side of the,
the,
this is a four minute long single shot scene.
And they show the behind the scenes side by side.
What's like what it looks like in the movie.
And I watched this and I was like,
I guess I'm going to rent this movie tonight.
Like,
like this is a must watch.
It's,
it's,
yeah,
it's incredible.
But the stabilizers are so cool.
Yeah.
We got off the topic though. Igers are so cool. Yeah.
We got off the topic, though.
I thought that was interesting.
So you're saying demand won't kick back up?
No.
So what happened was, and correct me if I'm wrong,
because I'm going to get my studios wrong, but it was not a Disney.
It was maybe a Pixar or Paramount,
or somebody decided to release same day at home, right?
So they decided they would release, I think it was Trolls or some shit. So you could watch like same day at home. Right. So they decided they would,
they would release like,
I think it was like trolls or some shit.
So you could watch it same day at home,
but you would watch it.
Right.
Yeah.
You,
but you'd watch it at,
at cost for like what the theater thinks or what the production studio
thinks a one time like viewing experience would be.
So instead of going and spending for me and one other person
obviously i'm in la it's very expensive but like 40 50 60 dollars to go see a movie that may not
be essential for me to see in that experience it's five dollars at home and everybody has like
like unless it is a movie likes that 1917 you like i you don't need to watch parasite in in imax
right like it's a fantastic movie you will
enjoy it the same if you have a big tv or at least like a nice area to watch it so i i say finally in
that it would remove a lot of the reasons that i currently have for me not going like i don't want
to spend 35 to go see a movie when i could just watch it for free on the airplane that i'm about
to watch you know what needs to make a comeback? The fucking drive-in movie, man.
The fucking drive-in movie.
Woody made a face. Why not?
That's your bread and butter. How many drive-in movies have you been to?
I've been to quite a few.
I've been to dozens.
My girlfriend's house was right next to a drive-in place. It's one of the few. It's in
East Atlanta. I won't go too...
Look it up. East Atlanta drive-in movie theater.
I love that experience.
Fucking drive up and
get good and high. We're going to be there.
I'd watch a double feature if I could
and just sit in the car chilling.
Filthy's got the opposite side. You say they suck, Filthy?
I remember them as kind of shitty, right?
You're uncomfortable in the car.
You're hanging speakers on
windows that don't really sound that good.
It's a little better now, Filthy. I don't know what it's like. The audio, on windows that don't really sound that good it's a little
better now yeah so i was like i don't know what it's like so they haven't been the audio actually
i agree really sucked but now they use your car stereo you just turn it to the right station
so that makes sense it's an am frequency same thing they do with the bluetooth stuff i will
agree that like unless you had an suv or something like what we would do is we drive in and then you'd
bring a bunch of like pillows and blankets and you'd open up the back of your sedan or whatever
and you'd just lay in there. It was pretty nice.
We would back up her SUV, open the tailgate, put a couple of
lawn chairs out, sit a cooler between us,
we brought food from a restaurant sitting back behind us in the back
of the car. Wonderful.
It was so great.
If you open the tailgate way up like that...
It wasn't crowded enough that we're stacking deep.
You know what I mean?
Be honest, Kyle.
What?
Did you care?
If anybody could see?
God, I'm down right there. What are they going to do?
He wears a cowboy hat at normal movie theaters.
You just wave him. Go around. What are they going to do? He wears a cowboy hat at normal movie theaters. You just wave him.
Go around.
Go around.
Howdy, buddy.
They do the one that I went to did it like checkerboard.
So you were like there was an empty space in front of you.
And that was your like porch.
So if you wanted to set up chairs.
Yeah, we get there early sometimes and we'd all have chairs.
It'd be me.
It would be like a triple date or something like that. Or me and her and all of her
friends and booze and food.
It was great. I loved it.
I would prefer to be in a regular
theater. Absolutely. You can probably tell me
any social engagement right now and I'd be like
that sounds great.
You know what I'm saying?
I'm so cabin fucking fevered here.
My girlfriend was literally like
one of her friends texted her and was like I'm going carbon fucking fevered here. My girlfriend was literally like, one of her friends texted her and was like,
I'm going to this reopen the economy march,
the St. Louis one.
And she came to me and was like,
I'm thinking about going to this.
And I was like, you don't even want it reopened.
You just want to go somewhere for social stuff.
And she was like, you're right.
I was looking for any kind of excuse
to get out of the house right just she doesn't even believe in that and go protest to be like
i'm just here for the fresh air man she should have that sign keep it closed i'm just here for
fresh air yeah that'd be fun you should have a giant hula hoop on with spikes on it keep everybody
away i mowed my yard yesterday it was nice to get outside and be in the sun and good Kyle.
Yeah.
It must be nice.
I was,
I'll say the same thing.
I was outside my yard yesterday and it was beautiful.
I really,
I,
you were saying it's a little too chilly right now.
I dig that.
Oh,
for swimming for sure.
But,
but chilling in the backyard,
I really enjoyed it.
I just got a fire.
I had all this excess wood and I don't know how my,
I don't know how to like throw that away. So I got a fire pit I had all this excess wood, and I don't know how to throw that away,
so I got a fire pit.
So I'm just back there burning my fire, burning all this excess wood I've got.
Creating stars.
Making stars.
Making stars.
I don't know how.
It floats up in the sky and becomes stars.
You don't know enough about science to dispute it, so don't even try.
That's one of the funniest lines in Sony history.
I watched another movie.
The other day I was saying that I watched Color Out of Space with Nicolas Cage.
And I didn't know whether I liked it or not.
I still don't.
I still don't know if I liked it or not because it was so fucking weird.
I was like, this is one of the weirdest movies I've ever seen.
And the characters are pants on head, retardedly dumb, and making outrageously stupid choices.
It's almost a
comedy at this point. A couple nights ago, I watched The Lighthouse with Willem Dafoe
and Robert Pattinson. Worthwhile? Fuck, I don't know. Again, it was so bizarre. First of all,
black and white and not widescreen. Standard- Four by three? Four by three. four by three four by three four by three black and white two men
are stationed at a lighthouse willem dafoe is a veteran of doing this and robert pattinson
our batman to be fella uh good looking gentleman is the new recruit he's an am he just has started
this and he's like the junior officer he has to take commands from Willem Dafoe. The acting's incredible.
Absolutely amazing.
There are soliloquies.
There are speeches given.
There's old-timey sea captain prayers at dinner.
It's great to just listen to.
But the subject matter.
Maybe.
Maybe.
Maybe.
This sounds awesome.
I'm going to watch this now.
Okay.
Well, I haven't gotten to all the parts that are so goddamn bizarre that i i don't understand the movie and you're not saying bad you're just
saying bizarre that's intriguing incredibly bizarre um there's a little bit of greek
mythology mixed in if you want to dig deeply enough i'm with it um it there's um there there
are mind i play ancient mythology I know my Greek mythology
it's like an hour and 40 minute
acid trip
in black and white
with lots of
masturbation lots of farting
keep it coming this is it
blood
gore animals
just the way I live
there's quite a bit.
There's a few turds.
Does most of the movie
focus on just, not the
outside world, just them in the lighthouse?
There is no outside world.
I don't know what that genre is called,
but when there are movies, and usually they're shitty
horror, but I love shitty horror, so that plays in
for me, where everybody's stuck
in a situation like in a house
where they're all on a boat or they can't leave a certain room like i don't know i like those
the lighthouse trapped so the deal is and robert pattinson spells this out at one point again no
spoilers he's just like you know i was looking for a job they're at willem dafoe's asked him like
how'd you how'd you get into this and he's like look i i heard that you could make 400 even 600 or 400 up to a thousand
dollars a year being a lighthouse being a wiki we'll just call it you know the lighthouse guy
being a wiki out here i figured that much money and the farther you are away from shore the more
money you make i figured this was the job for me and i get this money and i do this this and that
and the other with it it's just the two of them on this island.
When I say island, I mean like
It's like a rocky outpost.
You can walk across the island in 10 minutes, no problem.
There's a lighthouse on it.
There's a small shelter
and there's a generator that's
coal-fed to run
like an air horn that's always going off
to warn ships away.
And Willem Dafoe is like...
Oh no!
Is that always in the movie too?
A faint hum of a horn?
I don't know if I can handle it.
It comes and goes.
It comes and goes.
There's plenty of scenes without it.
But Willem Dafoe is very domineering
and they're supposed to share the duty
of going up to the very tip top of the lighthouse and operating the bulb or whatever, the flame it is. Willem Dafoe is very domineering, and they're supposed to share the duty of going up to the very tip top of the lighthouse and operating the bulb or whatever, the flame it is.
Willem Dafoe is like, she's mine.
You don't touch her.
You don't even get to see her.
You get back to your duties.
And he's just like, the book says that we're supposed to share duties.
The only book on this island is my book.
The guy's like, all right, well, I'm new here.
Now you swab that here now you swab
that deck and you swab it good i already swapped it twice you'll swab it till your knuckles are
bleeding if i tell you to pull every nail out of this building and suck the rust off of them until
they're shining and then build the whole thing again you'll do it and you'll like it and he's
just like fuck all right sounds good i'm watching this, watch it and let me know what you think.
Because after I was done, I wished I hadn't watched it.
It was just too much for me with the wacky.
It's a bit of morality about easy money, huh?
That's what you just learned from that?
There's a little bit of that built in there.
But there's also a lot of insanity built in there.
I don't know what the movie was about yet.
I probably need to watch.
I'm usually really good at this.
Like, ah, I get it.
This time, I was just like, the fuck did I i just watch and why was there so much gore that genre you just described
what the fuck did i just watch is my dad's favorite genre of movie and anytime i get a movie
recommendation he'll be like oh i just saw this really great movie and he'll send me an email and
i'll just like i'm just i'll look at that email i'll be like i don't know i don't know if i want
to do that to myself tonight like there's no way it's going to be
an enjoyable movie. I'm at no point going to
finish that movie and be like, this was great.
I'm going to be like, what the fuck was that and why
did I watch that is the only outcome
that can come out of it. I kind of like that
when I finish a movie sometime.
One day I'm like, what the fuck was that about?
You kind of let it marinate
for a bit. It's free on Prime. I just
remembered. It's free on Amazon Prime. That's like something you want as like a mood right like you have a mood
you want to watch something easy you want like an action in the background or something you want to
enjoy you want to come and you want to laugh at something this is like one you like you want to
feel bad about yourself or something you know like my like my dad's movies are like it's that genre
it's like you don't know what the fuck happened everyone's kind of an asshole you kind of hate
everyone in it you wish you hadn't seen it and you're like is that's like, you don't know what the fuck happened. Everyone's kind of an asshole. You kind of hate everyone in it. You wish you hadn't seen it.
And you're like,
is that a good movie?
I don't know.
You know,
this one's mind bending.
Um,
I,
I,
I,
after I was done with it,
I,
I had a couple of theories that to name them would spoil the film,
but I wasn't sure.
And I wasn't even sure that the filmmakers knew what the movie was about or
what had actually occurred in the movie.
So yeah,
check it out.
If you're into that sort of thing,
it's free on prime.
Uh,
it's about an hour and 40 minutes long.
It's not one of these,
like,
it's not like once upon a time in Hollywood,
which I highly recommend,
which is like three hours long or over three hours or something.
Um,
maybe two hours,
40 minutes.
I don't recall.
It's like Lord of the Rings in length.
Yeah.
Which is long.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Totally worth it.
Brad Pitt won an Oscarcar for that i just
real i didn't realize that until last night i didn't watch the oscars this year speaking of i
was talking about like feel good stuff last night i watched uh jackass 2 and jackass 3 back to back
and man those movies are so nostalgic and they just make me feel good and like you remember the
fun times and you know high school or whenever it was watching of those and they hold up they're so fucking funny new
jackass next year see i don't know about it now because they're all like 40 to 45 and sober it's
like heather brooke coming out of retirement jackass three or whatever it is now four like
i don't know that i want to watch this guy it hurts more now that that should be the title
jackass eight now it really hurts right i mean it was funny now we don't heal anymore
jackass three because jackass two steve-o was still getting like fucked up and they'll be like
steve-o your news he's like oh yeah dude i'm totally down to do that man and then jackass
three they'll be like we're gonna have you dance across fiery coals and he'll be like
okay and then he like falls into the coals and burns himself really badly and he's in the back
of a an ambulance and he's like yeah dude like a normal person would probably ask for a pain pill
right now and uh giant noxville's like not for you not for you though you've already cashed in
your chips on that no thanks you've had enough yeah he's just like they're steve was just they're shaking in pain
just yeah dude no that's so funny steve's fake teeth look great like a lot of people
get their false teeth yeah they're veneers a lot of people get get veneers or even implants and
you're like good god dude i know they're fucking twelve thousand dollars but did you have to make
them look like they cost a thousand dollars like yeah well you know who has veneers that i think you you might have uh t martin t martin got veneers
ages ago yeah yeah and he's like one of the when he got them out like i went through the whole list
i'm like you don't have to do shit he's like honestly never gonna brush my teeth again if i
didn't want to i do but like you're just good to go. There's nothing that can stop you. That is not the approach to take.
It's like, if I wanted to.
Taylor, has Tim Martin
ever made a poor decision?
Ever once? Name it. Name it one time.
Name it. Alright, good.
Maybe a single time.
Not a single one.
Redefining the CSGO thing as a poor decision?
No. The man made
millions of dollars and a few children were unhappy.
Listening to this, listener,
would you take a reputation ding for millions of dollars?
The mistake was the apology video.
Maybe if there was no dog.
Tucker's with me.
I love when he goes, he's up in the Labrador like,
Hey, guys.
I called
on the cell phone.
I called
Gold Glove and all the other people that I used to live to
and literally just said, did you
watch that? And he was like,
yeah.
I was like,
why? I want to have T-Mart on the show.
I'd love to hear T-Mart's
hindsight perspective.
Meanwhile, Syndicate's like,
zip, throw the key away.
Watch the money pile up.
People hardly associate
Syndicate with it anymore.
I know how much money he made off the thing.
It's well worth.
It'd be worth...
I'd take a bullet for that amount of money.
I would let Woody
shoot me with a fucking
pistol for that amount of money. Kyle, there's no telling
where that bullet's going.
Hold on. Now, I get to pick where the bullet's going.
Is that like a level of money?
Could you guys get there? Because I'd watch that.
I don't think Patreon's ever
getting to that point.
No.
You would need a very wealthy man to be like, yeah, I want to see Kyle get shot of money Kyle's alluding to. No, we're not, no. There's no, you would need a very wealthy man
to be like,
yeah, I want to see Kyle get shot.
Aren't you guys close
to some sort of Patreon goal?
Maybe you can do something.
We are.
Let me touch on that actually.
We need one.
We broke $10,000 a month
in Patreon,
which I didn't know.
And at $10,000 a month,
we meet up in real life
and do something.
Shoot Kyle, apparently.
Yeah.
So here,
so I,
I'm going to shoot Kyle. it took me a second to process
that uh but we're gonna go to kyle because kyle's not a traveler right now and um we can't travel
right now because of the covet thing people are like in before they try to weasel out of it i want
to make sure that we're not viewed as weaseling out of it but you can understand we're under
quarantine right now but maybe hey i don't know june like whenever we can get understand we're under quarantine right now. But maybe May? I don't know. June?
Whenever we can get there.
We're going to be quarantined in May and June.
They keep extending it.
It's going to be way past that.
But we do need to do a real thing
and we do need to deliver on this.
And I was talking to Choose today.
We didn't have enough time. It was right before the show.
But I think we're going to rework some of those goals
and try to have more cool shit out there.
Okay.
We'll work on it
off the show, but yeah, we should do something cool
out here in Atlanta maybe.
We will gather up.
Maybe a meetup.
I don't
I'm scared of live
shows. I have this fear that no one's
coming. We could do a live show and it's just
like the like
the hosts outnumber the fans or something oh no i wouldn't know no i wouldn't do anything with like
fans because like like even they're not going to enjoy that and and if we start like feeding off
of them like i think that just makes for a bad show but we could do something here i could talk
to my probation officer and just and see what i'm allowed because i don't know i don't know if i'm
allowed not to sleep here in this residence every night you know what i mean
like like i don't know if i would be be allowed to go like camping or like or not be here for a
night i i need to talk to them about that sort of thing but yeah they got we could do lots of
different things there's there's really cool airsoft place by here there's uh there's all
sorts of go-kart racing and shit like that. We could go to Six Flags with fans, maybe.
I don't know.
That's my vote.
Yeah, fans make the lines longer,
and then everywhere you go, you can't ride the ride.
How many fans do we have, Tucker?
Meeting fans in person right now is particularly sketchy.
No, not right now.
Well, my worry is that it'd be like,
we can't really set it.
The way they're saying it now is like oh june maybe it'll be okay by early mid-june but then september or so it's gonna surge back up again and then it's gonna happen again and
george is opening right now so it's gonna get bad look my vote right now is six flags i don't know
what the future holds for this virus thing. I think we need to be...
I don't want to give any false ideas.
This thing is not going to happen in May.
I would be scared.
I'm not going outside in May.
I'm not going to a restaurant in May.
I do not want this virus.
I don't want to give it to my older family members.
Reading those stories about permanent lung damage
makes me not want to go out
even weeks after they say it's okay go out even i want to see my dad after they say it's okay see i want to see my dad and the way i'm
i'm like dad you should come out here he's like i don't know it's real risky and i'm like look
i'll stay at home i've been at home but i've cut off all my groceries and stuff i'll be 100 sure
that i'm not going to be sick when you come out here so i really want to be able to like visit
with my dad next month but um yeah, we'll definitely do something.
My vote would be Six Flags because I fucking love Six Flags.
Six Flags over Georgia is incredible.
You get the fast pass for an extra $75, and you never wait in a fucking line.
In fact, you go to the front of every line, and if you get the VIP bracelet, you don't get off.
You go fucking twice.
Fuck you.
Go to the back of the line. You you. Go to the back of the line.
You have your own special line.
The crippled people have to wait behind you.
Yes.
Yes.
I put a line in front of a war veteran.
I just wanted to deliver.
Your wish wasn't strong enough to get you ahead of me.
I want to deliver on this Patreon thing in a way that everyone is forced to accept that
we delivered on the Patreon thing.
It should be unequivocal.
I don't know.
Well, you're never going to make everybody happy,
but if we said we'll do a meetup,
then we'll do a meetup.
I also like Six Flags.
I haven't been on a roller coaster in forever,
and I could ride roller coasters all day.
Is that all day pass also one
where it's like you can get all the burgers and snacks
you want throughout the day?
No, that's outrageous. Are you doing that, Tucker? that's where they make all their money taylor's on the
other side of this i'm like i need to lose enough weight so that i look as good down here
i just want to go real fast oh i need to know i need i need an eight week lead time
we are going to do this because i cannot show up in my current body style
i can't i can't do it i'm not doing
that tucker like every couple days it's something else i'm like i want to fucking do that i'm like
holy yeah i wanted and it's something like just totally basic if you'd asked me like six months
ago i'd be like what are you retarded like we were making jokes about that because i was like i just
want to go to dave and busters and play ddr I was like, those words have not come out of my mouth in like five,
six years.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's bad right now.
That's awesome.
I'm actually,
I'm actually really glad that we're going to do that.
Six flags is my vote.
Again,
maybe six flags isn't available.
Like,
like that.
That's,
that's my main thing I'd like to do.
I imagine.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's,
Oh,
there will be a lot of people there,
right? That's the other thing. You just bet there will be a lot of people there.
Right?
That's the other thing.
You're just telling me there's a lot of people
left in Georgia.
Waste money on a $75 VIP pass
because everyone's doing
lap after lap.
Dude, you want that fucking...
Dude, if there's 15 people
in the park,
that's what I was getting at
Well, they're not going
to open for that.
But Six Flags Over Georgia
has amazing roller coasters.
You're talking $75 a person for a one-time thing after making $10,000 a month off Patreon?
You shut your whore mouth, Filthy.
There's a ride called Acrophobia that you sit in one of those bicycle stirrup type lockdown chairs.
And it just lifts you up 200 feet in the air and drops your ass
like straight down it's i don't like this as much i like roller coasters right i like trust me
trust me on this this one is excellent i've ridden every roller coaster there and they're incredible
they have some amazing roller coasters there but the same one here it's called the superman like
in the six flags st louis like they all have the same theyags St. Louis. Does it tip you forward like Superman? They all have the Superman.
Yeah, it goes all the way up, and then it drops you down. Well, they don't all have the same thing.
Well, they have similar stuff.
I enjoyed the drop rides.
They have some similar stuff, but there are some unique rides in Atlanta.
I promise you, you're going to love it if we get to go to Atlanta.
On the ground?
I haven't been in a couple years.
On the ground, I see the drop ride, and I'm like, that thing is lame.
And by the way, I fly around in lawn chairs, so that's nothing to me.
And then I get up there, and it's totally effective on me.
And they fuck with you.
They fuck with you, yeah. They'll drop you one foot.
And walk the six flags over Georgia and Acrophobia,
the tallest ride in all of the
Southeast. And if you look to your left, you'll see
the beautiful park. And if you look
over to the right, boom! And it just
drops you. Yeah, yeah. Or the one I went on,
it made a loud click.
And you're like, nothing happened.
And then it silently drops you.
It's like, ah, you got me.
You got me good.
If I had my druthers for this trip, it would be, if Kyle could leave where he is,
and we're doing roller coasters, Cedar Point, Ohio.
Blows the shit out of every other roller coaster park in the country.
The top thrill dragster goes zero to 130 miles an hour in so little time,
it shouldn't be legal.
But it is because we live in a wonderful country.
Taylor, I would love to go there.
You have my interest.
But the Georgia Six Flags is known as being a top one also.
All right.
But Cedar Point is unbelievable.
It's like engineers got together and like,
how do we make miners black out?
There's a...
You know how you'll go to most six flags...
A healthy adult will survive this.
Unless healthy adults...
Maybe not.
Legally not responsible.
Must have this blood pressure to ride this ride.
Yeah, basically.
And like, you go to a normal six flags and the fastest ride there will be like 80 90 something and it'll
be something made for speed where it's not that long cedar point has the millennium force which
is a real deal roller coaster a long roller coaster and it gets up to like 95 miles an hour. Like you're
going so fast at some points that you're like, Oh, like you're just kind of, there's one in
Atlanta that will make you blackout. You it's a, uh, let's do it. Let's do it. It's a stand up.
So one of the cool things about it, uh, six legs over Georgia, the differences between each coaster
are how you sit. Some of them, you sit in the traditional little booth with the lap bar
some of them you have that crotch uh uh bicycle seat and then the thing that comes over the top
some of them like the superman invert you so that you are lying on your belly like superman
one of them is a stand-up roller coaster i think it's called the georgia scorcher you stand up
and a thing locks over you and so when you're standing up and this thing's doing time like
like an hour or so amount of time like like an
hour or so ahead of time just watching like uh roller coasters gone wrong before you go
that's a great idea like i'm sure people executed by this you know like heads locked off this type
of shit right the roller coaster in my hometown did that every year every year the mighty mouse
would kill someone or maybe just amputate like a hand or something but shit went wrong right funny all right it and universal studios in florida and i'm sure georgia has this too
they have a cool one it might be incredible hulk based where you know every roller coaster starts
by like that long chain ride yeah so i was expecting that but no it you you do that you
go to the bottom and around a corner, if I recall.
And then it just shoots you up like a rocket.
And that's how it begins.
And you go over the top fast.
That's cool.
And it took me by surprise.
I liked it.
All right.
I think.
Oh, go ahead, Kyle.
I was going to transition completely away if you're ready.
What do you got?
All right.
It is time for round two of our game.
Filthy, do you have some hot sauce?
I was told to bring hot sauce. so I have Tabasco with me.
How wonderful of you.
Me too.
You know what?
I was looking it up.
The amount of vinegar in this, if I have to take a couple more spoonfuls, I am going to
have some rough diarrhea.
That's a colon cleanse.
Think of it as a colon cleanse.
Well, that's another show.
PKN, right?
Colon cleanse.
Yeah.
I brought alcohol, thinking that was the thing I didn't want to drink and if I was a viewer it's what I wanted
margarita I think but I won the first round
and didn't drink much
alright so Chiz is going to ask us some
questions you buzz
in by saying your own name
you can go
multiple choice if you go multiple choice and get it
correct you get to pick one person
to punish you can be like hey Woody
you drink a shot but if you don't go multiple choice and you get the right answer
everybody does a shot i need to clear up some things real quick do i need a shot glass because
i don't have that i just have a hot sauce i'm using a spoon we're using spoons the shot glass
was too much yeah i've done a shot of tabasco before it wasn't pleasant so i'll go get a spoon
that sounds good yeah it weighs very heavily in your stomach.
I'm three spoons of
sriracha in, and it feels a little
bubbly. Hey, Chiz. Is there a lot of
vinegar in that one? If you're listening, can we do an audio
test while they're away?
Yeah, can you hear me right now?
Yeah, I think this will work.
Okay. Can I get a count to
five, a little longer test? Run it up!
One, two, three, four, five.
Aesthetic acid.
It's actually pretty shitty.
Is that what you had before?
I didn't change anything.
One, two, three, four, five.
Are you far from your mic?
Put it in your mouth.
Everyone says it sounds fine, but they have very low standards for audio.
He's only on for four minutes.
It's okay. Exactly. This happens every guest every guest i'm like oh let's try and make it better and everyone else is like i think what
he's an asshole i'll step in his behalf for for pre-show things where we'll have like a new guest
who doesn't quite get the audio thing and woody is always the guy i'll be like hey is this okay is my is my
audio okay and what do you be like yeah uh not at all actually i'm gonna have to take some time and
no your audio is actually so bad i wonder if your mother is a fucking whore
is she is she a dirty fucking because only the son of a dirty fucking cunt would have a microphone that sounds that cool.
And then there's Kyle and Taylor.
You know, I thought it was all right.
I'm like, oh.
Is my mic cutting out, Woody?
I'm going to have to.
Your mic is fine.
Okay.
Yeah, you sound great, Filthy.
All right.
Well, go ahead, Chis.
He's going to type it.
He's not going to even say it.
No, no.
He's going to say it. Shut up. Shut up even say it? No, he's going to say it.
Shut up.
Shut up.
Shut up.
All right.
Let's see here.
Let's go with this one.
In the land of dual comms is where Kyle and Wings discussed doing a podcast with Woody.
For which Modern Warfare 2 map is where the gameplay footage came from?
All right, Kyle.
Fuck.
I can picture it. I don't know the name of it.
You seem so confident.
I know because I can picture it.
There's a high likelihood.
It was a Call of Duty 2 map.
Do you really want to help him?
Bad.
How long is he allowed to build this up?
Doesn't he have to give an answer for guessing
this early? Shouldn't he be punished?
Fucking guess.
Alright, then I don't know it.
Throw a map out there at least.
Jesus Christ, I didn't know there was money on it.
You can ask for multiple choice.
Multiple choice?
Wait, but he doesn't get to answer multiple choice.
We all get to answer multiple choice, right?
No, because you buzz in.
I feel like he's excluded from being able to ask for multiple like everyone else gets it right if i'm being honest i don't
understand the wait so if you could that's the best if you got if you got it right without
multiple choice we all have to drink but if you don't get it right without multiple choice then
multiple choice you have to pick someone right yeah right but if you buzz in immediately that
doesn't necessarily mean you have to just give the answer.
You can just go straight.
Woody.
Go multiple choice.
No, he's already.
Two minutes.
Wait, is it too late?
I want to say Woody.
I'm next.
I'll go before multiple.
Invasion.
It is not invasion.
So you will take a shot.
And so will Kyle and the remaining people can now buzz in for multiple.
Why do I have to take a shot?
Why don't I get multiple choice?
Chisley, just do it.
Perfect.
It sounds great.
I'm so confused about the rules of this game at this point.
I thought they were very simple.
It seems like I should get a multiple choice option.
Yeah, I said Taylor and I'm going to say
Backlot.
This is on you, Chiszo's audio quality, right?
It is. It's my fault.
I'm the asshole who decided this was good enough.
Backlot is a Modern Warfare 1 map, so that is incorrect.
Backlot is Modern Warfare 1.
Fuck!
Can we go multiple twists and then it will buzz in?
Do I just win if everyone else loses?
This game is easy.
Just give... I didn't even know they made self-reception
as bad as
whatever this is.
Oh, now everyone's on Team Woody, right?
I was on an island by myself
five minutes ago.
How did no one have any issue
last round in this round?
Y'all fucking retards.
Because the rules last round and this round y'all fucking retard. Alright, alright.
Because the rules apparently came out.
I don't understand how the multiple choice, it seems like
I buzzed in, it seems like
We can't fucking understand you!
It's amazing. Just take another shot
Kyle, clearly. another shot Kyle I did
Taylor
Jesus Christ
Chiz
Post the multiple choice
We can't understand you
Let me have the floor for a second
Chiz
I think something may have changed.
Are you back on the Wi-Fi?
No, I'm on my phone.
Anything get better?
Still the same?
Yeah, wait.
Did you move, dorks?
I just moved, yeah.
Could you have seen?
Okay.
Is it good now or not?
It's better than before.
Much better.
I think maybe you're using the AirPod and you got too far from your phone.
I'm just guessing.
All right.
Can I have a question here?
Can I ask you a question, Chiz?
Yes.
I buzzed in.
One shot.
Can I then not request multiple choice and get to do a multiple choice answer?
No.
That was confusing.
No, you can't.
It is so simple.
It works like this.
If you want to answer
doesn't matter how you just buzz in i did give the answer or you say i'd like multiple choice
i'd like multiple choice of that chis no that's not fair no here why was it not fair i'll tell
you i'll explain if everyone is quiet for a moment because it's the part where you get to answer
without multiple choice you seize control of the board and then say downgrade to multiple choice,
taking away everyone else's chance to answer the hard way.
Look, you either answer the hard way or you don't.
If you fuck up answering the hard way, you've lost.
I didn't.
But I didn't fuck up answering the hard way.
I was sitting here thinking, and then everybody was like,
oh, come on, answer it.
Well, we kind of got an I don't know. And it lasted like a minute.
You know, this was Jeopardy.
But when I say I don't know, he should say, all right, would you like multiple?
No, no, because then it's to your advantage.
Just say Woody every time or Kyle in your case.
And then you've excluded everyone else from participating in the game while you downgrade to multiple choice.
I hope that you want it.
OK, so then we should buzz in by saying
kyle multiple choice no you shouldn't buzz it there's two tiers you're still giving me the
choice then shut up kyle tier one listen he's gonna ask a question all right first first question
the only answer is no multiple choice you can't do anything else if you elect not if you don't
know the answer 100 you shouldn't buzz in and. If you elect not- if you don't know the answer 100%
you shouldn't buzz in. And then once everybody else is like, nah, we don't know, then it goes to multiple choice.
But you should- you cannot say, fuck, I don't know. Let me just buzz this. What if- what if I- yeah.
So you're saying the only way the game can go to multiple choice is if the person who buzzed in gives an incorrect answer or does not know.
Right. Yes.
Okay! That was not- that was certainly not made clear from the start.
Look, Chiz is not a good gamer,
apparently.
I'm sure he said it.
I mean, I'm happy to go by the rules of the game.
I thought it was hedgerow or something like that.
I know there are hedges on it.
I know it's a big open field.
We're getting mired down in detail.
We're getting mired down here, boys.
Let's forge ahead. Oh, getting mired down in detail. We're getting mired down here, boys. Let's forge ahead.
Oh, I do need one more detail.
Hey, when it goes to multiple choices, it's about two.
Are Kyle and I eligible?
No, because you already answered wrong, right?
Shit.
Yeah, fuck it.
You guys, yeah.
I'll accept either one.
I'm not answering again.
I don't want to take another shot at Tabasco.
Why are we taking it so seriously?
No one has still answered.
Why are we doing shots at hot sauce?
I don't know why we play games if we can't take them a little bit seriously and care about if there are at least rules that exist.
I think I know the answer.
If you want to play a game where we all just drink five spoonfuls of hot sauce, why play that game too?
I bet you the audio clarity would be really nice.
I'll play that game too.
I imagine the audio clarity would be really nice. Underpass.
Estate.
Afghan.
Can you read those?
Wasteland.
Kyle.
Kyle.
Kyle.
Kyle.
Kyle.
Kyle.
Kyle.
That's your name.
Wasteland.
That is correct.
First try.
Make cheese drink.
I elect that I eat some more fucking hot sauce
you know what it's funny i was i was like 90 sure it was karachi and it wasn't even one of the
answers i didn't even get some from the right game none of the above had your own answer
when you said invasion i pictured invasion and then from those
that he listed i was like it doesn't sound like invasion at all i was like afghan maybe i've never
played that game i don't know any of the map names so i'm glad that kyle took that one let's do next
question let's do next one yeah for a brief moment in time a fan of PKA was a regular guest on the show
during the time of FCS Russia being super busy and Lefty coming on board.
What was his name?
Taylor.
His name was Taylor the Sub.
You win.
Everyone's shot.
God damn it.
Yes.
I knew that too.
Let's see.
I just didn't want to take more Tabasco.
I should have got Sriracha.
God damn it.
I'm not going to like it.
I don't know why you think it's better.
I'm drinking a creamy
thick sauce over here.
That's true.
It is delicious though.
Tabasco is great. It's got some sweet in it is great Yeah I love Tabasco on food
Is there one more question?
Yep
After revealing on the show
That Wings had sent money to this person
To buy a passport
Is when he learned he didn't know how passports worked
Kyle
DJ Keemstar That is incorrect Oh no is when he learned he didn't know how passports worked. Kyle. Who? Kyle.
DJ Keemstar.
That is incorrect.
Take a shot. Oh, no.
Finish the question.
I'm finishing the question before someone can ask it.
For revealing on the show,
Wings had sent money to this person by a passport
is when he learned he didn't know how passports worked.
I want to know what he thought passports did, too.
I can elaborate on that.
I'll get it for multiple choice for sure.
There will be a bonus part to this question.
Okay.
You said passport.
Okay.
Someone has answered wrong now.
So whoever comes in is getting multiple choice.
Or we can all collectively multiple.
Woody for the multiple choice.
I think that's what you just said.
All right.
Maybe it's just me.
I missed the last part of the actual
question. So the question is,
Wings revealed that
he sent money to someone to buy a passport
and then we found out
that this person didn't need a passport because
it was domestic travel. And we need
to guess the person's name.
I know it now.
I had to think a little harder.
And those options are
Stanester, Hex, Chaos Map, and Hastro. I know it now. Close. Yeah. It's a little harder. And those options are Stainster,
Hex,
Chaos Map,
and Hastro.
Kyle?
I'm going to guess.
No, no, no, no, no.
Woody already.
Can you say the first person's name again?
Stainster.
All right.
It's Hastro.
I get it?
Yep.
It is correct.
I remember I was trying to get the gamer's name.
Was it TP or something?
What was the.
Wait, no.
Wait, can you can I get backstory?
So you had Mike, you had Hashtro asking wings to get.
There was a point where wings.
No one asked wings.
Somehow thought he had part ownership of team envy.
Right.
We'll agree that wasn't true, but that was his impression.
of Team Envy, right?
We'll agree that wasn't true,
but that was his impression.
And he was funding a ringer to come and participate in a competition.
And I guess Wings sent money to this ringer,
via Hashtro perhaps,
to get him to travel and show up
at this Call of Duty competition.
The guy took Wings' money,
flipped him the bird,
and that's where it settled.
Does this sound right? How close did that come? more or less yeah he was he considered himself a part owner of of uh
team envy and he was giving them money to do things and one of them was like get this player
to a to an event do we know who the player was he was good do we remember sorry do we remember
no now for bonus. For bonus points,
just for the fuck of it,
what city was someone
flying to domestically
that was the revelation that
Wings... Taylor!
Taylor, go ahead. Chicago.
That is correct.
Wings needed a passport
to fly to Chicago,
but not to South Korea.
I think I was on that episode.
You need a passport to fly to Chicago?
Yeah, don't you? Honestly, we should
make that happen. You should need
a passport.
Well, what states are it now
that don't have it built into your
driver's license? Some states. California.
It's the real ID stuff.
It's like California, Washington.
It's like the West Coast and like a couple others washington it's like the uh it's the west coast
and like a couple of their passports built into your driver's license no not passport you cannot
fly with a government issued id because of i don't know what their logic is but i guarantee it's just
because they're like fuck how is this 18 year old getting a good id made from some random person and
using it so it's a it's a different government issued ID.
It's,
it's different than a passport.
It is specifically used for flying and traveling.
It does count as like,
like you can use it to like go vote if you need a voter ID.
That's not true.
One of that is true.
A real ID,
you either have a driver's license that doesn't have it,
or you did get it.
Now you basically check a box.
I don't know. I don't know.
I don't know what Tucker said.
That is not true.
I have a real ID driver's license.
I don't have a real ID driver's license.
Who cares about this?
Because you didn't remove your driver's license.
Nobody fucking cares about real ID.
So does that mean that you guys all have to take shots
because I got the bonus right, or do I pick one?
Yeah, I already drank.
I already drank.
This is your first time winning something, huh, Tucker?
No, that's my question.
Apologizing to Tucker for insulting me.
Literally.
Taylor, Tucker, both very low T count.
It's easy.
Just a couple of retards, one fat, one skinny.
There you go.
Capital T names.
You're right.
Yeah, so There we go.
What's the updated score?
Who's winning the match?
I have zero points. I can tell you that much.
Zero as well.
The guests have zero points.
Right now, the only people with points on the board are
Taylor and Woody.
Do you want to tell us how you chose these particular questions?
Yeah, he and I talked about it in private
beforehand.
What's Taylor's mother's maiden name what's the last four of taylor's social i was just trying to pick something
only you'd get right that was where i was going with that yeah guests will get zero points
janet the only terrible guess then yeah they will how am i gonna answer any of these
okay tucker that one was tough on you but it's funny that harley got the one wrong
harley got the one about him i wrote it and was gonna specifically give it to him which i did but
i knew he wasn't gonna remember that i know no knew no one would remember that. You fucked me.
Yeah, he's my favorite
special Montrealian. Is that what they
call them? Yeah, I'm pretty sure.
Montreal.
Call them Frenchies.
There's no way of knowing.
Alright then. Is there another question
or is that it? No, that's it for this round.
There's another round when we get our third guess.
Alright then.
Alright, Chiz.
Never leave wherever your phone is.
Oh, my mouth is hot.
I'm loving the game.
Oh, I misunderstood.
I thought, yeah.
No, I love this game.
This should be televised.
This could replace Jeopardy.
I have heartburn.
We're trying something new.
We made a special effort.
I know.
I'm saying Chiz is the Alex Trebek
of the podcast.
He's killing it.
You guys have commissioned your viewers to let me expect nothing.
I may have sort of been tested.
This is why when I put on a button-down shirt, my wife goes fucking crazy because I wear a white T-shirt every single day.
Right?
You've done this for your viewers.
Under promise, over deliver.
You're a smart man. And Painkiller already is also a smart group of people
the fucking smartest dude have you heard our takes on
good one i want to talk about the economy for a second i don't know if what the hell
no it makes something i'm very well versed in honestly yes we're all suffering at some I want to talk about the economy for a second. I don't know if... What the hell?
No, it makes sense. This is something I'm very well versed in.
Honestly, yes, we're all suffering at some point.
So, filthy B.
Bill Gates has come out and says,
as things get back to semi-normal,
it's impossible to overstate the pain that lies for years ahead.
Mark Cuban has come out and said that people are underestimating
just how dramatic the impact of the economy is going to be and how long it's going to take to get back.
For me, nothing's changed.
It's like almost weird that outside the world has flipped around.
I'm just sitting here playing Tarkov, making PKA episodes like I always do.
And I feel like I couldn't have my thumb on the pulse of what's happening out there any
less.
And do you, do you might, all right.
So obviously, cause we live in very different communities, right?
It is glaringly apparent for me every day.
Cause I have a dog.
I have to walk him multiple times a day.
It's glaringly apparent living where i live in hollywood like the severity
of this um i for the first time so we've been in quarantine like lockdown you can't do shit for
45 days now um and uh i have like a local grocery store i go there they put up like plexiglass
walls there's markings on the floor how close you can stand close to the cash register there's um you know like the whole works i'm sure everybody understands it now i drove to malibu just
to drive my car i just wanted to leave and drive and it took me half the time in total to go all
the way to malibu and back to where i am not a soul on the beach because they're closed like it is very eerie almost like walking dead-esque where anytime that i'm up in the morning walking my dog i live on a
super busy street there's no cars it's it's nothing like it is it is a shocking right no for
me you're right it actually is i get to sleep with my window open now. Cause my next door neighbors who run a landscaping company don't have to get
in their car at four 30 in the morning and start it up.
Right.
And I'm an apartment complex.
I hear that shit.
So like it's,
it's,
it's very much.
I think that maybe,
maybe where you live and you have like a,
my parents are the same way.
You're saying right.
Yeah.
And his compound,
my parents live in Durham. Um, and they're like, Oh, we the same way you're saying right yeah in his compound my parents live
in durham um and they're like oh we walk the you know we walk around every night like it's pretty
normal can i jump it there's more foot traffic by my house than normal like the way my house is on
the edge of this neighborhood if you were to go if you were to go for a walk you might you know
walk around my house on that street. And I'm mowing.
I'm like, damn.
To say it's packed is a wild exaggeration.
But there's lots of people.
Couples walking their dogs.
Everyone's sort of getting outside.
And the way that they do it is they walk around my house.
But it's fine.
It's okay.
But I don't know.
My neighborhood is the same way. I see way, way more people walking around with their dogs,
jogging,
like the paths around,
you know,
my house in the woods and stuff like,
yeah,
they're packed.
They have nice like city.
But they're not packed though.
You,
you gotta like,
you gotta realize that a lot of people don't like you,
you using the word packed is very different in a suburb.
Packed is like,
you see somebody walk in front of your house every five minutes right yeah right they're like packed in the middle of a city way
different you know so i think that you like people who can have the luxury of leaving their home and
like being at an acceptable social distance are taking advantage of it i know my parents are doing
just that like they're walking five times a day i'm like okay yeah fair i can't like i can do that but you know there's much more dense
population so um i like for us we're really lucky you know i twitch and youtube has been actually
really really good in the last couple months even though like all my physical hosting gigs have
gotten cancelled which suck because they pay the best um but you're right like it is kind of weird to be
in a position where like your industry esports anything like digital content creation kind of
thriving in its own way and really like bringing a bunch of people who weren't necessarily in
to tech like zoom conferences for your for your entire college class etc like it's it's doing a
good job onboarding new people that are going to use the internet differently post but i'm pretty
interested in figuring out what isn't going to go back to normal right that's the stuff like we
don't know now we're like a couple months in right i cannot wait for face masks everywhere
right like we're long overdue man asia got that right ages ago. Like, airports?
You know, there's not
a chance you're gonna see me sitting in
an airplane, packed in with sardines,
without a face mask.
I understand that, like, there's numerical...
Like, it's not gonna be 100%.
But, like, really, though, the way
that we were operating...
You're too small for my head.
Oh, face masks?
I can't tell if you're joking, Taylor.
Help me out.
Use two.
I'll be fine.
Taylor grabs a t-shirt.
I mean, it's going to be like pre-9-11, post-9-11, right?
Like flying before 9-11.
But I think it's going to be like in a bunch of industries we don't expect, right?
Like that's what's going to be interesting to me.
It's like six months, but it's going to be different. be different restaurants are gonna get a small restaurants are fucking hosed and I feel like we're gonna come out of this and see
like where do you want to go pf chang's or tj friday I don't think that I think we're gonna
see a lot of takeout yeah I think you're well so I have a friend who I have a friend who runs a
this is incredibly niche story so take it with a very big grain of
salt my friend owns a bagel place in la they make all their bagels in house um this place is
fucking slammed on the weekends like i will not go there on the weekends because it's everybody's
hangover like let's go get some breakfast bagels currently or before before prior to the quarantine
um since then i i used to i love bagels so much man i used to
get like three four times a week i would get like some combination of bagels and coffee from this
place i have only been there twice since then however their their individual uh orders have
decreased but the profit um it's like a weird metric. The way that he described it was like the profit that we are earning per hour
is double, if not triple what we would be earning previously.
It's just that they are paying their employees more for risk,
you know, risk at risk pay.
You know, they have to shell out a little bit more for advertising,
for like delivery services.
They hired a delivery guy who now drives around so like it's not for that specific very niche company it's it's not bad or
good it's just different i don't think that you're gonna see a lot of people going into
cheesecake factory if they lift the quarantine right like a 500 person you know restaurant a
lot of but i do think you'll see
more likely people eating at local restaurants where they're like we only allow 30 people in
here and you have to sit six feet away i think there's going to be more of like a tight if if
if it's available i think there's a study coming out somewhere talking about um air conditioning
spreading air conditioning in a restaurant spreading it beyond the oh recycled air yeah but but the second thing i think about that is i think you might see
restaurants that open that are never designed to be eaten in right you mean like straight up
takeout only or like um yeah exactly on a related note much more of that i think you're right and
like postmates is one of our sponsors tonight I could imagine them getting a lot of new customers that
once they've broken that seal, they remain customers afterwards. Maybe they go out
sometimes, but once they try it, maybe now they do it
three times a week.
I think there's going to be a vaccine in about 18 months, and this is not going to be
a worry at all.
in about 18 months and this is not going to be a worry at all no but no no i i agree that there is going to be a or i would love for there to be a vaccine and i would love for there to be a
return to some semblance of normalcy but i find it hard to believe that as of right now like if
we get a vaccine and everything i find it hard to believe that people are not going to take
what it's like it's like when you over correct too much like they're it's going to shift everybody
to the this is changing how people behave i absolutely disagree with that i think all you
have to do is yeah all you have to do is look at the news or um i don't know the internet and
you'll see tons of people in parks and stuff having to be arrested. Lots of kids. I saw Karen get arrested at a playground.
I saw Karen get it.
Yeah.
I just watched that like before I came on,
but,
but do you not think that that is selection bias?
Because when I drove,
I think that's how people feel.
I thought the polls were showing something like 80% of people support the
continued lockdown.
Sure.
They support it.
It seemed much temporary for now.
I'm talking about, we're talking about next year though, right?
You guys are talking about
long-lasting ramifications. We talked about
9-11 and how
things are still not the same. Before 9-11,
you could just jump on that airplane.
You didn't think you could run in an airport.
You see a guy running in an airport right now, you are taking
your own fucking life in your hands. They don't think
he's trying to get to a flight quickly. They think, BOOM!
Nobody took their shoes
off before 9-11. Things are never
going back to the same
as far as that goes. With this, however,
I really do think there's a vaccine
for this. You know what I think this is?
If I could jump in, I feel like this is
a red versus blue thing, and I say that by
looking at my Facebook, right?
The liberals are all like
stay quarantined stay inside uh you know they could flatten the curve and the root and tootin
confederate flag wearing gun toting guys are like this thing is a fraud this virus only had the one
brush yeah he's not wrong yeah you should see him like that that is what
i see on my on my facebook like there's kind of a political divide and when it should i mean you've
got a gaggle of retards on your facebook yeah what's bigger than a gaggle i have been shocked
i've been fucking shocked at the number of people who's forgotten how germ theory works right like
you know like i didn't feel like this i mean yes there's some
political elements of how it's being politic politicized right but this isn't this isn't
rocket science understanding this as the fucking bystander right this is a disease it spreads it
spreads through the normal way that diseases spread this is pretty clear liberal propaganda
to be filthy no no all right well the the the meaningful changes that i'm
specifically talking about are ones that are inherently limited to large mass gatherings
like uh as somebody who goes to a lot of concerts and shows i will continuously be wearing this was
already very prevalent in that community wear a face mask right like that is now just going to be a reality um i i don't
think that you're going to see people that anybody who is going to live through this and is like
all right that was fun i guess we're back to normal i don't think that there's any like
there's nothing that any like virus is going to do short of killing everyone they know
that's going to change the way that they behave in public spaces but i do really believe that like from my friend group
and the general people of my age in los angeles so again very small sample size very interesting
group of people not a single person that i've talked to is like yeah no we're definitely going
to just go back to normal every single person has some like drawback or some like like reassessment
of how they're gonna live post all this is anyone like it's almost less of a well there is some
political divide that's true but like i'm seeing an age divide more than anything for it it's
definitely more young young people are like hey we should probably stay at home and make this a
really bad quarantine
that really harms the economy, but we mostly
narrow the level,
the curve, and then we come back and it's not a huge
resurgence. Whereas older
people are like, just fucking do it now.
It'll be fine. It'll be okay.
I think it's middle-aged people.
I agree. It's middle-aged
people. It's boomers. It's not the 80 I agree. It's middle-aged people.
It's boomers. It's not the 80-plus.
It's the boomers.
I love you to death, Mom and Dad.
I just talked to you today.
You guys are fucking idiots.
You were so scared when I talked to you.
I was so proud.
My mom cried.
When I saw Dad and I saw his hands tremble,
I saw that weakness in him.
I knew, that's good, Dad.
That's good, Dad. He's staying quarantined. I know he is. No. I saw that weakness in him. I knew, that's good dad. That's good dad.
He's staying quarantined.
I know he is.
No, but you're right, though.
It's the boomers.
And your parents aren't the Tucker?
No.
I mean, to an extent.
How old is a boomer?
Yeah, baby boomers.
Like, we're talking over 16 at the moment on Twitch.
So, yeah, I'd say tentatively anybody over the age of 50 and below the age of 70.
That's the core group of people.
To me, 40 to 55.
That's the core group of people.
That's literally not a boomer.
That's why I asked.
Welcome to the internet.
That is a state of mind.
I think 40 to 55 because at 40 you're still young enough like this is yeah
and you've got your own ideas but by 55 you're like you're still think you're young and healthy
enough to like fight off a virus but by 60 you're like no my parents are 66 and 62 and my
grandparents who are 88 and 90 christ my yeah my grandma they've been quarantined
they're in north carolina too and gave them a call for their birthday and my grandma who's like i've
you know very loose in general like gets on the phone just goes well tucker i think i'm probably
gonna die if i catch this so this is the last time i talk to you. I love you. And I was like, that's the most coherent thing you've ever said.
She's just like making gallows humor jokes about it.
Like convince.
Right.
But you know,
not,
that's not the typical response.
I'm going to go on that rampage.
I always talk about run down to Harris Teeter and just touch all the
food.
You're thinking of rabies. It's totally different. Run down to Harris Teeter and just touch all the frozen food. Just touch everything.
Man, you're thinking of rabies. It's totally different.
Do you know rabies is 100% deadly?
Like we talk about...
If untreated, it's fucked.
Yeah.
I mean, yeah.
It's a long lead-in.
Well, there's a point where there is no treatment for it, I believe.
If it gets to a critical mass, you could show up at the doctor and still not be
totally fucked and they'll just tell you like yeah this is too late sorry you're gonna die of rabies
like it's just no way to stop didn't you try crazy
you got any of them stem cells
some bat antibody.
That's something. Aren't bats
one of those animals that it's like
all of them have rabies?
No, it's not all, but it's a lot.
A ton of them. Like way more than other
kinds of animals. I feel like if you get tagged
by a bat, that's the thing. Always.
I read some article it was referring to. They're like,
yeah, the bird population
is a reservoir for the coronavirus.
I'm like, oh, fuck birds.
We don't need them.
What, you mean government drones?
Here's the thing, though. You can't fuck with
ecosystems because I bet...
Watch us!
This is just me talking here,
but what if they were like,
yeah, these bats are carrying these viruses.
Let's kill all the bats And they kill the bats.
And then you realize, oh, shit.
Bats ate their body weight in mosquitoes every night.
Now we've got so many mosquitoes and they're spreading this new plague.
I think that you need the bats.
What you need to do is leave the bats alone.
Did you see the thing about letting wolves come back?
Yeah, I saw that thing about wolves coming back.
The yellowstone?
The beehors, the otters, the muskrats, the birds.
They changed everything.
I don't know if the thing I saw said where.
It could have been Yellowstone.
It was Yellowstone.
They introduced 12 wolves back in the ecosystem.
It completely changed the entire topography.
Not topography.
Yeah.
Mountains were raised.
I usually hear about... They wolves were wild i know blame truth is coming but yeah it was amazing i would if you had told me
hey we introduced wolves and then wolves ate the coyotes and suddenly the rabbits did better i'd
be like oh okay i get it but no there was so much like birds were coming back plants were coming
back every like these wolves were so essential to this place.
It was pretty cool.
I watched a documentary about beavers the other night
and fucking cried.
This is how you can tell you've been in quarantine.
I know, right?
We both cried, though.
Me and my lady friend were watching this fucking beaver show
and it's just like, there's this point where...
Is this porn?
No.
No, it's about people who rescue beavers and reintroduce like there's this point where no no it's about it's about people who
rescue beavers and reintroduce them to ecosystems where they where they have been gone for a while
total fucking assholes too no no they they're vegetarians who create ecosystems uh something
like otters like fuck baby seals and they're like heads and kill i think i think sea otters are like
uh are into that sort of thing i think that's sea sea otters. But not freshwater otters per se, I don't believe.
I've never heard that.
But beavers on the other hand, this lady raised this beaver.
He was like a rescue beaver.
And to reintroduce him to wildlife, she's out there in a little kayak with him.
And he'll hop up on there with her.
And she's like, I'm real afraid that he'll get away because he doesn't know how to live out here.
And then he'll dive down and then he'll come back up and say hello.
And he literally like vocalizes in this weird beaver talk.
Then he goes down and never comes back.
And she's like, they're like, Diane searched for six hours that day.
Timmy never returned.
And then like she goes into this depression, not knowing if she can rescue beavers anymore blaming herself for losing the beaver and there's this whole drama and then like two or three weeks later
she finds him again and he's he's he's been adopted by a whole family of beavers and he's
taken on the role of like the youngling who teaches the babies how to do things and he's on
like stick duty and and he comes up to and he's like hey hey thank And he comes up to him and he's like, hey, hey, thank you.
You know, in beaver talk.
And then he swims back with his family
and you see them all.
It was like something out of a fucking Disney movie.
And we're just like,
I thought he was gone.
I was crying.
I was crying.
I felt so bad for the little fucking beaver.
I think we're supposed to rotate guests.
I have to pee again
because I've drank so much water
because Taylor just pulled out some My rotate guests. I have to pee again because I've drank so much water.
Taylor just pulled out some Mylanta.
I wish.
I wish I had some fucking Mylanta.
I'm ready for trivia.
It turns out drinking hot sauce, no fun.
I walked out there, and I was going to the bathroom and grabbing a beer and the Mylanta,
and I just stopped in the dining room
before I got to my
kitchen.
I was just like,
Oh,
Oh,
my girlfriend's like,
are you okay?
I'm like,
yeah,
this is,
it's just really not sitting with me.
The three,
you know,
spoonfuls of Tabasco.
And I put so much of this shit on stuff.
It turns out food is really the important part of hot sauce on its own.
This shit's pretty awful.
Yeah.
Yeah, believe it or not.
Congratulations one more time on your
10 years. Thank you so much.
Cheers, guys.
I'm a good one, man.
I'll see you in your stream.
See ya.
If you like Total War Warhammer or other strategy games,
Filthy's stream is fucking awesome. he's so good at those games nerds
i'm just playing my first yeah my first uh like rts game was uh rome total war i played the shit
out of that oh rome total war was sick right what's up blame truth what's up guys brother i
don't know if we have taught this is the first time
that i've gotten to talk to you face to face like semi personally same yeah because yeah yeah you
know we grew up doing the same shit and i swear like i don't know how i've avoided you for this
so it's good to meet you for the past 10 years literally like it makes no sense you and like um
oh shit what was the camping guy that guy who uh
there's another guy who camps that guy who camps yeah like what the fuck happened to that guy
he just came back he just came back like literally like a week ago yeah on youtube or twitter this
is incredible it's like a resurgence of all the uh wait and somebody dm'd me on instagram who uh joe handsome i was like a
montage montage editor i think he was hmm yeah wild stuff man that guy who camps took like
no jimmy eight years off of youtube and he had 330 000 subs eight years ago he could have been
yeah damn are we gonna watch part two should we save part two i don't know why i said we it's not eight years ago. He could have been enormous. Damn.
Are we going to watch part two? Should we save part two? I don't know why I said we. It's not my
show.
I'll watch it. We saw your clip
already, Blame Truth. Very nice.
Very kind.
Oh, he just linked it.
I hope that this is the one.
I guess Shoe Nice is going to be really mean to us.
Oh, God.
It has to be.
No, they said somebody worse than Shoe Nice.
Oh, maybe it was Junkyard.
It could have been a Junkyard reference.
Yeah, Junkyard.
Yeah, he said it was Junkyard.
It was Junkyard, yeah.
That is funny that Junkyard said it,
and he just called Kyle a piece of shit.
Oh, I don't blame him a bit shit i don't blame him a bit i
don't blame him a bit i thought he was easy on me you really fucked with that guy a lot and at the
time it was very funny i didn't fuck with him a lot i um i just fucked with him those really that
one time i mean that one time accounts for a lot it does count for a lot it does count for a lot
you know and uh and i just thought it was funny because, you know, nobody liked him.
None of us, like, creators were aware.
I liked him. I thought he was okay.
I mean, he was nice. He's a nice guy.
You know what? But you were also machinima royalty.
I think that some of us were coming from a place of jealousy where everything he did got uploaded.
He had these pristine, like, prime selection criteria.
Kyle?
It wasn't jealousy.
I was jealous. This is wrong. jealousy it was just this is wrong like
what's happening is is is wrong and i wasn't necessarily being wronged by him i didn't feel
like i mean a little bit like like his stuff was going up when mine could have gone up for sure
um all of us and uh and it was just like this is a guy who who is being shown a ton of favoritism
and he doesn't deserve a scrap of it. You know,
this is a guy who,
who probably made good machinimas and now,
but now,
but now he's trying to play our support,
our sport,
because it's the more popular one,
you know,
and he's no good at our sport.
And yet he's still getting the preferential treatment that he earned making
machinimas.
Like he got grandfathered in unfair.
Yeah.
He's been grandfathered in and, and, and to the degradation of, of the, of the main machinimas like he got grandfathered in unfair yeah he's being grandfathered in and
and and to the degradation of of the of the main machinima channel channel to all of us because
if you're a random if you're a new subscriber out there you're that you're a bit of currency
you know you're a guy who's who likes video games and now you found out there's a youtube scene for
it and you're like what's the biggest deal in in youtube game and they're like machinima and you
go over to machinima you're like all right let me see what the premier director
who's on the front page of this thing i remember do you remember you had to apply
you had to apply the myself dr disrespect fucking like i'm pretty sure woody did like everyone like
everyone i apply you had to fit like make a video application like, this is why I deserve to be a premier director.
That was the first FPS Russia video.
I didn't have to apply.
I just got it.
I remember getting that email
shot out to all of us
and my thought was like,
I'm not even going to make a video.
I think I might have made a video.
It was never important to me for two reasons.
One,
I didn't give them very much
content, so everything I gave them went up
immediately. I know Wings had a lot
of videos that he was wishing would get
chosen. I gave him
a video every two weeks, three weeks,
so it would go over to the front of the line
because there was no backlog. There's a mute button, Kyle.
I don't have it.
I think a lot
of the reason my videos didn't get picked
is like some of it happened there like 102 and 2 domination and mine would be like uh domination i
go 30 and 11 but i tell a funny story about a retarded guy i saw the grocery store uh taylor
you're not i might have been wrong about this but i never wanted to be on that channel that badly
that's why i didn't give him that much content. I was always investing in my own channel.
It was great for growth.
That was the biggest investment you could make was to give your video to them.
Because first of all, you got a $2.50 CPM at a time when we didn't make any money on our own channels.
Maybe that wasn't a big deal for some people.
It really wasn't a big deal for me because it came to,
I made like $4,000 from them ever, like something like that.
Total?
Yeah, that's crazy.
I mean, that's millions of views.
100%, yeah.
No, I was thinking it would have been more than that is what I was saying.
I only sent them like five videos ever, you know.
They were pretty good.
The type of content that you guys were producing was not
meant for that channel like i remember that because you're right like the 111 and three
fear crad video that they uploaded would do incredible and then i was like i killed myself
155 times with a rocket launcher for over 10 minutes like like that you know uh but it was
it was um it was the only way to get because they were one of the
first partner channels so it was the only way to actually earn income prior to their partnership
whatever the fuck so i just remember sending them like drop boxes to shore wars and being like please
just take one sure like eight you know what is what is up to what is that guy up he still
follows me on twitter i don't know i don't know. Is he in the industry anymore?
Yeah, hit him up. I just want to know what he's doing.
Yeah. JD2020?
So yeah.
Wait, no, no. Listen, I have a JD2020
video, or I'm sorry, a story
and I think it's probably worth it.
It's very recent. I want to hear it.
I want to hear it.
So I went,
obviously the music industry, a lot of friends one of my
friends uh works with notch and uh and manages a bunch of um like music acts etc so at at one
point i guess it was like six months ago i got a text message it was like hey what are you doing
two weeks from now i was like well nothing nothing much it's like a thursday it's like all right well
if you want to keep your thursday night open i've got uh box seat tickets to tool and i was like yeah of course i would love to see tool live
in concert in la one of their one of their dates love tool so i uh end up meeting up with these
this group of people it's it's myself and like nine other people and um we we go to the staple
center together uh and it's incredible. Tools, amazing.
Vince, I'm not going to say his last name, Zappella,
the guy who runs Respawn Entertainment that did Titanfall
and also COD4, et cetera, and then Notch, Minecraft,
and then a bunch of other people.
And there's this one dude who I kept looking at,
and I was like, I swear to – when I got introduced to him,
I was like, hey, nice to meet you. And in the back of my head, I was like, man, I know this guy. I swear like I swear like when I got introduced to him and I was like hey nice to meet you and in the back
of my head I was like man I know this guy I swear
like I really do know this guy and we
had that awkward like encounter where
you both think you know the person but you've never
met before so we spend the entire
night together dinner like the whole
concert everything super nice guy and we're
leaving and I'm getting in my Uber and I'm like
we're all very drunk and I'm just like alright
guys well it's good to see you goodbye Vince and I forgot your name he's like oh I'm getting in my Uber and I'm like we're all very drunk and I'm just like alright guys well it's good to see you
goodbye Vince and I forgot your name
he's like oh I'm Robert
I was like Robert what
and he goes Robert Bowling and I just I'm like
that's the fucking stealth clown
the entire
night with the stealth clown
and yeah like
super nice guy and
we've hung out a couple times since but like he he doesn't look
the same way he used to he's not as stealthy of a clown are you saying he's twice the man he used
to be is that what you're getting at i think he i think he is filled into his position of whatever
he does and he is uh no longer a modern warfare 2 like no life guy can he fit in a rowboat can
he fit in a rowboat that's the question could we could we go paddle together
robert bolling could beat the shit out of me in real life if we got into a
the only way i could explain it do Remember the mystery of Kimmy J? Kimmy J Codd!
He came on the show a few times.
I don't know that. What is that?
He's a guy from Brooklyn.
Kimmy J, break all the news.
Yeah, he was like a Vietnamese.
He was a Vietnamese?
It was just a guy doing an accent.
Kimmy J, break all the news.
Oh, I remember that guy.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I remember remember now he popped off it was like
right around when kyle started trailblazing for everybody number one commentary vietnam
are you going to play uh steven again on yeah that was funny shit yeah he was probably probably
didn't age very well into the into the pc era i know none of my content aged well. I want to watch this video.
Oh, are we watching the video?
Oh, I forgot.
Oh, two.
I don't have it up, no.
So scroll up a little bit and you'll see a Chiz comment at 636
or whatever. 936, Easter.
936.
Okay, yeah, I got it.
Alright, I'm at zero.
Why is my time zone off by two i am also at zero
ready set play i like the intro again it was like one guy who had three or like cinema 4d
and he made everybody's on your 10 years he made one of mine i think it's been almost five years
since the first time i was on the show i I was wearing this exact same t-shirt.
We had an interesting conversation.
What do you claim?
I straw man him.
And then we moved on into the filthy robot days and then into the community
love days where everyone on your subreddit spends their time congratulating
on congratulating me on how great the shows are when I'm on.
And I just wanted to say that 10 years, man,
is an absolutely wild amount of time to be doing something like this
and for it to be so successful for so long.
And I'm really pleased that it's worked out for y'all
and glad to be on when I'm on.
And I think this is a pretty cool idea from Chiz.
So some love for Chiz.
Really sweet.
Anyways, guys, congratulations.
I hope you get another 10 years. Shocking that one made the cut, eh, Chiz? so some love for Chiz. Really sweet. Anyways, guys, congratulations. I hope you get another 10 years.
Shocking that one made the cut, eh, Chiz?
In this shitty town.
A-P-K-A.
Anthony Coomey here.
10 years. Wow.
You made it 10 years.
Why is his, where is he recording?
Looks like a wedding ballroom.
We're in the throes of the end of the world,
so another 10 is probably
quite unlikely.
I have my own bunker set up down here
where I've been broadcasting
my program.
And it's my subterranean
compound, as I like to call it.
Fully
equipped with everything
you need. A full barn
and
champagne and weaponry. Everything you need. A full bar and champagne and weaponry.
Everything you need for the
end of the world as we know it.
But congratulations. I've had so
many good times doing your show. I hope
we can continue doing that.
I guess Skype isn't contagious
so I'll be able to come on your program
for as long as there is life on the planet,
which right now, a little questionable.
A little questionable as to how long
this whole thing's going to keep spinning.
But again, congratulations.
You guys are great.
Always an entertaining program.
And like I said,
looking forward to coming back on the show
very soon.
Congratulations again
and good luck
in this brave new world.
Kyle, Woody.
Oh!
Extra!
I've been in that living room.
Congratulations.
Kyle, Woody. You guys are killing it
Looks awesome
Man, thinking back, old memories
Woody, I'll never forget
You ushering me way too drunk
Into a cab, me being way too drunk
Not you, in LA
Taking care of me
We gotta talk about Sam after this, I hung out with him recently
Kyle, I'll never forget laughing
so fucking hard during
the first FPS Russia
dual comm that was fucking great
we'll upload this separate Taylor
well
let's just say I'll never forget what you
defended online
but would love to come on and have a little
discussion about it sometime, maybe.
Anyway, guys.
That's content.
You gotta have him on.
I've got his phone number.
I'll put you guys in contact.
Hey, this is Steve Hofstetter.
Oh, he did that.
If you want to make
his congratulations
really authentic,
you have to play it
in the middle of something
that Kyle says.
I wanted to congratulate PKA
on making it to 10 years.
That's absolutely incredible. Most podcastsKA on making it to 10 years.
That's absolutely incredible.
Most podcasts don't make it to 10 episodes,
but here you are over 500 weeks later,
and you only had to fire hosts a couple of times.
It has been an honor and a pleasure
to be part of the PKA community, for the most part.
Woody, Taylor, Kyle, and Chiz,
congratulations on 10 amazing years.
And here's to 10 more.
Forehead out.
Hey, wow! Congratulations for 10 years years. And here's to 10 more. Four head out. Wow!
Congratulations for 10 years of podcasting excellence.
I know you guys can't say this, but as from a podcaster,
coming from a podcaster who's coming up on seven years,
it really is probably the hardest job in the world. I was worried about what he was going to say.
So thank you, guys.
Thank you, three, four, however many you have working for you right now on your 10 years of pot and basil excellence.
I can't say this, but in bomb, in bomb, in bomb.
I have to thank you guys for some of the most humiliating moments of my life.
Shoving chicken wings in my face because of your drunk episode that you so graciously brought me on. And then waking up in a cold sweat,
hearing the dreaded words of,
do you remember what you did last night for my girlfriend
when I obviously fucking don't,
and I have told her several times,
stop asking me that.
Thank you guys for that.
It was a real rock bottom for me.
I didn't drink for
Having to the the you guys are really are a powerhouse between between Woody's ability to
Make people think that he might hate them
Kyle I'm so glad you're out of prison um i hope you i hope you made some friends nothing more than friends um i want to talk to you
again i want to talk to you about that and uh taylor for god's sake taylor where would you
guys be without your racist accents taylor you really are. You're like someone who was frozen in time
in the 90s, Saturday Night Live.
And you've been unleashed upon the internet.
And I really love it.
I know that sounds sarcastic,
but that's only because I'm a prick.
Congratulations, guys,
on 10 years of podcasting excellence.
Thank you for introducing me to Wings, too.
I binged that guy's nonsense after the first or
second time i was on the show i binged that guy's whole uh whole story arc for um for about a week
and uh and it changed my life changed the lives of many people here's to another 10
guys pka forever pka forever goodbye hey pka good video good video very good congratulations PKA forever. Goodbye. Hey, PKA. Good video. Good video.
Very good.
Very good.
Congratulations on 10 years.
That's amazing.
That's an unbelievable run.
In the podcast world, thank you so much for having me along for the ride.
I appreciate getting to be a guest on your program.
And to the fellas, I just want to say continued success.
I mean, 10 years, that's amazing.
You know, in another three years, you guys can officially put a curly one on the soap so thank you guys very much
continued success here's to another he's saying we'll hit puberty in 13 but he doesn't know me
congratulations to pka for 10 years 10 years let that sink in for a second. I was trying to think about things in my life that I've done for 10 years.
And I don't think I've held a job for 10 years.
I know that's not something to be like proud of, but like you guys should be proud of 10 years for PKA.
Like that's, that's insane.
I mean, it was five years ago that Kyle and I drove a tank through a house here in Texas.
I mean, Woody, it's only been a few years that you've been paragliding.
And I know, I know you guys rip us apart in the comments for going on at links about wingsuiting
paragliding, but I'm trying to think about these milestones and these benchmarks in our lives and
where they happen. It's like, man, dude, 10 years. Like I,
I can't even fathom it.
Like I applaud you guys for it.
Uh,
Taylor,
bro,
the Bible lessons,
honestly,
some of my fondest memories over the year is some of my fondest memories over the years.
Like I can't,
is this supposed to be one take?
Maybe not. is this supposed to be one take maybe not maybe this is just a shit tank that you just put the whole thing in taylor dude like the the bible lessons are honestly one of my favorite things
because they're so like unassuming for me like we just go into it like quite frankly i don't think
there's any other four hour podcast that i would do out there. That's a long time. And the fans
like, dude, like everybody sits through the entire thing, like reaching out to me afterwards. I'm
blown away. Like the fans, you guys really make the podcast for me. Um, man, I just don't know
what to say other than congratulations. I love you guys. Like, I appreciate you having me on over the years and uh i hope to see you soon
hopefully after this shit take 10 years of pka wow that's insane congratulations to all four of
you guys for doing this for 10 years straight i've been doing full-time youtube for seven years
which is already insane i remember watching pKA before I got started with YouTube.
All the Call of Duty tips, all the tricks, all the painkillers.
I loved it.
I loved it so much that it was one of my dreams to be on PKA one day.
And I did it a few times.
I told some crazy stories.
I told some funny stories.
I told some crazy stories. I told some funny stories. I told some cookie stories.
And I might have some more stories to share on PKA in the future.
Guys, once again, congratulations on this.
This is literally insane to be able to do something for 10 years straight,
let alone a podcast on the internet where you literally talk about pretty much whatever.
Podcasts on the internet where you literally talk about pretty much whatever and I can't wait to be on and I can't wait to check out more episodes of PKA and let's see. Let's see if we can hit 20 years, guys. Kyle, and Dr. Chiz on 10 years of PKA
podcasting.
This is the only guy that's allowed
to wear a mullet.
He'd go for it.
Yeah, suits him.
Where there's still good radio
going on on the internet
and where comedians are free to make
rape jokes, racist jokes,
anti-Semitic jokes.
For me, they're not jokes. They're just me expressing
my honest opinions and desire
to commit things like rape and murder
and
racial epithets out car windows.
But still, always a great
experience to be on.
So here's to you boys. Keep it going.
And Taylor, the blues suck.
Oh, what's up, my PK people?
It's only you, Blake.
What?
Wait, what?
It's white boy.
Yeah, it's white boy.
Oh, but again, double fire sale.
Here's for another 10 years of only you me blade, blackout life, and-
Jesus Christ!
What's fucked up is it took me a second to be like,
Oh wait, is that blade or not?
Yeah, it's a good impression.
Talking about my toe.
Scram!
It's healing.
F-
F-
F-
F-
F-
F- F- F- F- F- F- F- F- F- F- F- scram. It's healing family. It's healing family. It's healing family.
It's healing family.
It's healing family.
For my drinking problem,
it's the people
that never recovered
emotionally from
the one loss
of the Spelling Bee PKA Championship
to White Boy 7th Street.
He did beat him.
Big shout out to Kyle. Big shout out MVPK championship to white boy Seventh Street. He did beat him. So, oh!
Big shout out to Kyle.
Big shout out Woody,
Parker Durka,
Wings,
Lefty,
Redneck,
and everybody else.
Everybody.
Oh!
That was really good.
That's very good.
Is that?
Oh, Jesus Christ.
That's the end.
No.
We got to put that in the Hall of Fame or something.
Oh, my God.
That's a really fucking funny one.
That's a standalone upload.
That thing.
Right?
It really is. It really is. Wow. standalone upload Bravo Bravo to Whiteboy for that one
Whiteboy should just do streams
Like that
Just drink water instead of vodka
I thought I was going to press out
Thank you so much for that
That was an A plus
Thanks to everyone
You won the video
There were a lot of gracious guys in there There were a lot of gracious guys in there.
There were a lot of funny guys in there.
There were a lot of guys I don't recognize at all.
And I smoked a lot during those years.
But that was the funniest one by far.
That was great.
Excellent job.
I mean, the makeup dedication on the toe itself.
Oh, my God.
Dude, good makeup on his face.
I was dying before we got to the foot.
The leg had me.
It took me a second to know who it was.
I was like, that's my boy!
It took me a beat too.
I was about to ask,
wow, he really lost some weight.
He did lose weight.
I was like, really tossed in.
I was like, what the fuck happened to this guy
have you seen Blades lost some weight
I
did he lose a leg and lost like
20 pounds or
I saw Blade losing weight
and I was like hey he's looking a little better
but apparently that is a phase of alcoholism
where they just don't eat other food
and really only their calories
I think he's
been in that phase for a while i was gonna say that's for the past four years maybe he's just
now getting the uh ill effects from it you know it's just hard to keep food down i don't know why
just three weeks into quarantine just like
oh he'll be dead soon all right well yeah probably let me uh let me knock out our last
show next week well let's hope he makes it till then
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Thank you, Netgear.
Thanks, Netgear. I have a Netgear. Thanks, Netgear.
I have a Netgear router. It's good.
Nighthawk.
Would you go so far as to say it's the absolute best?
Yeah.
Yes, you would.
Absolutely.
Blame Truth, how you doing?
Pretty good. How you guys doing?
Doing alright.
He's looking fit. He's looking fit. He's looking sexy.
He's looking awesome.
Did you raid my stream a little bit ago, Blaintooth?
I think I remember you did.
I did.
You were really into Tarkov, I think.
So I just let you be.
But I raided and then bounced.
Bad streamer.
I didn't notice the raid right away.
I think I've improved my notifications since then.
But hashtag bad streamer
is a thing that you see a lot in my streams no well your your stream is hilarious because like
usually uh like like i i raid i've been your blame truth a few hundred people the other night and
immediately he's like oh taylor awesome great hey how's everybody doing and i rated you with a few
hundred people the other night and you were so into Tarkov that I watched the stream for like 10 minutes and everybody in this chat's going, what? Hey, what? Hey, what? Hey, what? Hey,
RSK. And you're just like, where am I going to get a cup of coffee around?
Just so singular. It was endearing.
It was endearing When you're into a game
You're into a game
Tarkov requires a lot of concentration
And there's a big risk reward
If you're playing Doom and you die
You're like alright let's reload the checkpoint
If you die in Tarkov
You're like alright well I just lost 4 hours of work
It sucks
That game is So fun in tarkov you're like all right well i just lost four hours work yeah yes yeah it sucks yeah i mean
that game is so fun i like i really uh that game single-handedly has brought down my because i know
the last couple times we've been on we talked about it but it is been the the game that has
taken my excitement from battle royale and put it into into something else because it's just like
high risk high reward and even if there's no risk or reward or no risk you always have everything to gain right
that game takes too much like time i love this i was gonna ask if kyle's still playing rust
yeah kyle's a rust boy um no i haven't played rust in a while because it's just so unhealthy
um that's the cool thing about Tarkov.
Tarkov gives you just about everything Rust can give you,
but in bite-sized pieces.
Rust is like, all right, if we're going to play a seven-day white,
then we need to be here eight hours a day for seven days, boys.
If you're not, then we're going to have to go to a server with fewer players because I'm not going to play on a six-man server
so that we can have six guys in here for 20 minutes one saturday night it's gonna fuck us
in the ass so we ended up playing like i played a lot of duo servers on seven day wipes and you
would legitimately put in fucking 40 hours in a week it's a full-time job that's my problem i don't
i don't have the time like you know i stream every day like i got to do a bunch of different you know
content but tarkov is perfect because once you get the hang of it and once you have like the
understanding of like how do i go net neutral for this entire run like how do i chad and then
scav rat so i end up at like x million at the end and i started with the same amount and uh
and tarkov just really scratches that itch
because you can have those like clippable incredible moments with the like with a toss
and you can have the same incredible run with like a tx or something like that I love it someone
described Tarkov as really hard to start and really hard to stop. Yeah. Somehow that... Like drug addiction.
Like meth.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Like the beginning of Tarkov,
you don't understand how to build a gun.
You really don't understand the meta.
The maps,
I'm not great at memorizing new maps and the Tarkov maps are so difficult
that that combines
for a really long experience for me.
And it's hard to get started,
but then once you do, it's hard to put started but then once you do it's hard to put
it down looking forward to the next white i've uh i'm taking a break yeah i am too i just got
too much money like the game's not fun for me at this point how much do you have um probably not
as much as some probably like i have three billion oh in cash and my my am i am i am i
how much is your stash worth roughly tugger 10 mil i guess i have
a lot of money and equipment um but like that's like not to cut you off but that that's like the
sweet spot between like every loss matters a lot to me and every big win still matters but i'm not
like buying like tier five armor like full like sometimes i have to do like a budget reserve run and just
like rat it out you know
I've got about 50 million cash
and my stack is worth about
250 million or so so like
the game has been like easy mode
for a long time
yeah it's stable
well you should never
Tarkov is the only game that I've ever
played where like like if you run into a character that is under-equipped and you are at your, like, peak capacity, you should never lose.
Zero percent of the time, you should never lose a fight.
Like, you should be incapable of being killed by a guy running, like, 9mm armor.
I lost the other day.
Or ammo.
So here's what happened.
I'm kitted out right and
i've got the vss people know it's a good gun it shoots straight it's cool and i've got level six
armor and i've got a helmet on with a face mask and i'm juiced they would call it i go up against
the i run into a scav i'm ahead of him on the gunfight and then we both managed to find cover
and i'm like all right i'm gonna push this guy i know he's hurt and i know that i'm juiced
so shit at this point if we go even i crush him just because my gun's better my defense is it
the next bullet he fires is between my eyes and i'm dead yeah and right but that happens
that happens and that's one of the like that's one of the endearing moments like i feel as if it is a not
a rite of passage because it happens way too often for that but like it is a nice reset when you're
going in there for me a big run is like a million in gear you know i've like spent a lot of my time
like building out all these guns and stuff and i get one tapped by Scav who's just like decided today to fucking ruin my,
like that's,
that's kind of the enjoyment.
Yeah.
It's,
it's,
it's like a massive masochist fucking run.
You're just like,
oh,
that sucked.
Let's run it back.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I'm in between my stash is worth like 86 million and I have like 16 million in
rubles.
So I can lose a bunch and still keep playing,
but I don't feel good unless I'm,
I should be wealthier at the end of the night.
Otherwise I've lost.
Yeah.
I'm ready for the white.
I'm going to do things that are going to get me to play again.
And that's going to be,
if they add the cultists,
I'll play to experience that.
And,
but I want the white,
I'm ready for the white.
Let's all start at zero and fucking hit the ground running because I picked
the game up after like two months into the current white.
And it was a little bit more difficult, I think,
because we all weren't on the same page.
Well, you and I were both carried at the beginning, right?
That's true.
Like Larry's getting cases and guns and stuff.
So next time around, as big as Larry's backpack is,
he won't have a backpack because he got wiped also.
So I had a benefit of starting because I have a podcast
and people are willing to sort of help me out.
And next time around, no, I don't have any money.
Did you guys ever you guys got helped and stuff?
Oh, yeah. Sure. That's one of one of the sorry.
One of the big things for me playing RuneScape or playing any game that requires like an inherent commitment in time or effort.
Like I actively avoid trying to get handouts because like how are you supposed
to like really experience the struggle so i i really i agree with kyle i'm super excited for
the wipe and the city what is it cities of tarkov like the new map that comes out because it's going
to be like yeah streets sorry you're gonna be like sucking dick for bt ammo like yeah but you
won't need it see that's the thing everybody's starting
that's what's so exciting it's like the whole one ammo for tier one uh armor you're fine but
there's two kinds of hands out handouts like it the guns and stuff they gave me guns or the helmet
they were quickly lost because i was new and i sucked the other part of it like the knowledge
the meta how to assemble a gun uh tours around the map yeah that
if i had to figure that out on my own completely it would have been a different startup experience
that shit my handouts came exclusively in information i could not and will not ever
learn how to play that game like as a as a consumer like i don't even recommend it to my
friends i don't like it
blame do you have you played tarkov no that's why i'm sitting here just like yeah yeah i know i know
like i will never go like you should really give it a shot like i'll give it a shot yeah like
well you told me too i'll give it a go yeah the worst but it's like not a game that you
recommend to somebody it's somebody who goes like worst, but it's like not a game that you recommend to somebody. It's somebody
who goes like, hey, this looks interesting.
It's not a game that you recommend to somebody.
No. I would recommend it to
a Rust player, someone who's used to that
sort of grindy-ass game with
ridiculous gunplay.
It's a different...
I got shit to do.
That's what I'm saying.
We'll do it, Jabron an info we're playing games over here
it's good for a hardcore gamer if you're a hardcore gamer a guy who plays a couple hours
a day then you might really enjoy that game if you're looking to just dip in enjoy it and pop
out like my left for dead phase it's not a fit i disagree i i think that the i think that the
barrier of entry is insurmountably high i find it hard to
believe that anybody could casually say i want to play tarkov and not commit to like a literal class
of here's why you need to buy one specific game over the other like what is this map that i'm
learning and what's the best route when i spawn here and how do i extract in the special air like there's too much info to get there but what i do like about tarkov currently
is that i can play once a week and still have the same exact experience in terms of like my
engagements and everything as i could if i didn't play every day i might not have an incredible kit
but like i can still get that enjoyment, right? My support staff was so...
I've had runs where it's like,
Stubbsy, there's four and a half minutes left and I have to exfil.
I'm sharing on Discord right now.
How do I find it?
Where am I?
I'm in woods. There's trees.
I don't know where Alvin is.
It's like, all right, all right, I see.
Head down towards the trade.
I've had runs that were saved and it meant a lot yeah yeah i just i think uh blame truth yeah we should probably know you're
really into right now and you've been into for a while since last time you're on is getting fit as
fuck getting sexy and you post some uh some you know some some thirst trap photos on your Twitter of you coyly looking over a river
that nice jaw jutted out
arms looking good, looking fit. How's that still
going for you? That's hot. Is this him with the bikini?
The bra?
He would look splendid in it if it was.
I will be the judge of what is hot.
So are you, with this quarantine and everything,
are you hitting the gym?
A fellow member of the Home Gym Master Race.
Yeah, Home Gym Master Race.
Are you hitting it hard?
Yeah.
The main thing I'm doing, because there's just nothing fucking else to do,
is I'll just go on a five-mile walk.
It's a big thing.
I'm trying to get my body fat down while preserving muscle.
You're not in the boonies, but you're not in the... No, I'm in the are you are you you're in not in the boonies but you're not in no i'm
in the booties i'm in the booties i just happen to have like fiber internet here i don't know
fucking why but yeah yeah i don't have fiber internet yeah i don't know why they brought it
here but i'm not complaining um but yeah uh there's nothing else to do, so I just walk. I'm down to about 14% body fat, roughly.
And around 12, I should get some ab definition.
Well, should.
But yeah, just eating clean, not getting blackout drunk.
Stop. Don't attack.
I mean, you guys can. It's totally up to you.
Oh, eating clean.
I mean, you guys can. It's totally up to you.
What is this photo?
There's like nine heroin needles and like a
sparkling ice fucking
water. Hold on. What is this?
I don't eat an entire
package of goldfish at midnight
on Tuesday.
Oh, aren't we special?
This is
the photo that he tagged
alongside Pokemon Rejuvenation
four hour challenge look man i just that that's that was on okay um what is real talk two two
years ago that's not mine that's not mine that's not mine two years ago uh i had a really fucking
dirty room i was just like depressed as shit that's one of the reasons why i decided to get in shape because you know it helps with mental health keep it up for sure yeah and uh you did
link it do you mind if i link no go ahead why i'm asking but yeah my room my actual bedroom was like
not that bad as the picture but it was it's pretty awful yeah it's pretty bad and uh this is making
me there you go there you go you can see the comparison there
dude you fucking love arizona tea i used to i don't anymore is that when you were in a phase
where you're like doing what i used to do where i'm like it's tea it's good for me it's not just
as much sugar as coke you know i would drunkenly stumble over that fucking tray it's kind of fun trying to hop over that shit drunk you know is that a tray or a uh a weight scale that's a scale i think
yeah i like how you positioned it perfectly in between all of your like diabetic supplements
yeah that was that was back when i was like i wasn't waiting to see how much I'd lost. I was weighing to see if I got super fat or something.
I was just like, I'd go to bed drunk and hop over that shit
and chug a gallon of tea.
But look at his diet.
A gallon of tea before bed.
And then you wake up just feeling awful.
We got a humidifier.
We got Edgar Allan Poe.
We got Stephen King in here now.
A couple of uplifting authors.
So you cleaned up your diet.
You started working out.
You cleaned your room, Jordan Peterson.
I cleaned my room, yeah.
You are the...
Has it stretched you to other stuff?
I don't know if you've been streaming more reliably.
You just disciplined everywhere?
I redid my entire wardrobe
because I lost fucking like 50
pounds so i really started paying attention to uh like style and shit as well so you'll probably
notice if you go to my instagram or whatever or twitter you're way hotter now yeah thank you
but close for their show you decided to do tucker cosplay yeah pretty much
you have the v i've got the anime
i'm still working i'm like three months behind whatever like move you're on currently i'll
i'll get there hey man take your time take your time and You're about two years behind my weight.
Built like a fucking brick house.
I mean built like a brick shit house
body style.
Not appealing.
Not appealing.
Some people like stability.
That's true. I'm very stable. I'm like Mac.
It's always sunny. Try and move me!
Try and move me!
Yes!
So I'm healthy other than the diabetes.
That's awesome for you, man.
I like seeing people get really into weightlifting.
And it's also really fun to watch people get into it and surpass where you go very quickly.
It's like, God damn it.
If I could just stop eating.
I could just stop eating.
I really don't need to order this Postmates,
but they got two for one hot chicken
sando combos. Well, I'm the fucking retard
that I don't even, a lot of the times
I, okay, a lot of the time I will
give in, eat a bunch of,
I got Cheez-Its recently. I did eat a lot of them.
Dude, Cheez-Its, I still fucking eat Cheez-its i gotta i gotta cheese it's i love you hear this taylor you can
still eat cheez-its and lose weight confirmed yeah you just gotta i count each individual
cheez-it but yes i eat oh you don't need man so would you would you would you would you agree
that a good idea would be to have him buy the snack size Cheez-Its and then only limit himself to one
package? No, because you save money buying in bulk. Just count out your Cheez-Its.
See, I'm not going to do that. But he does.
You don't even humor the idea. You're just like, I'm not going to do that, first of all.
I won't buy the snack bags.
And I do the stupid thing also where like even when I pack my house with like semi healthy foods, it'll get to be like 11 at night and I'm bored.
And it'll like I bored eat boredom.
It'll just be like, you know, what I need right now is seven string cheeses.
I need seven string cheeses that I'm going to eat.
And then I went through a phase with
that a couple weeks ago where i was eating so much string cheese at night my shits were just
they were just they were just grueling you were you were doing peel-offs on your own shit
carrot peeler behind me and slim it down for it to fully come out
you look in the toilet bowl i didn't even wrap that one god i shit up the plastic i got i got
over eager last night i suppose yeah well it's still good i mean those are the easiest snacks
to trick yourself into is just being like no it's fine i can eat this and watch the 18th century
cooking and be straight cheese taylor biggest biggest fucking tip i can give you if you don't
buy it at all then you can't eat it i know and i tell my girlfriend does all the grocery shopping
oh and i tell her stop getting stop getting snacks for me because i don't have the self-control to
not eat a bunch of snacks if they're in there because my my thought is like i'll go in there
if there's goldfish and i'll put a handful in my hand and I'll walk back as if
in my head I'm telling myself this is
the amount I'm going to eat tonight and then I
finish that in about four seconds
and then I tell myself
like alright I can get one more handful and then go do
that like two or three more times until eventually I go
now I'm just wasting time I'll bring the whole bag over there
but only take them out one
time and I'll do that thing where you place
the goldfish on your tongue you lick all the salt off and then you twist it split it in two on your teeth and
then eat that slowly how i eat that that's how i eat them very slowly and before the end before
the like halfway through the bag my rationale is if i eat all of them now i can't eat any what if
there was a way to make genius what if you're an alcoholic for cheese what if there was a way to make genius what if you're an alcoholic for cheese what if there was a way to make getting to them exercise like yeah yeah like what if you have
what if you have to lift something something really heavy lifting kyle get the gear system
right on a treadmill yeah yeah you can set up multiple gears yeah but then you just
turn the treadmill on and walk away i just have a machine to drop some one by one yeah
yeah you're right yeah i mean at the end of the day it comes down to self-control and i gotta
like the quarantine has made eating that's awful so much harder for me you guys have home gyms though like i i have 800 square feet and
and 300 of them are in this booth right i like i physically have no i have a yoga in la right
yeah why why it's a legitimate question i'm not trying to be insulting or shitty because prior to them
shutting down all of the fun things to do here this was in fact worth the 13 fun tax i was paying
i love when you said earlier that can i ask you a personal question like about how much your rent is
yeah 3 500 a month for 800 875 square feet. Man, at least my stomach hurts.
Wait, wait, wait.
At the top of the show, Tucker said that they shut down his live appearances,
which is a bummer because that's the most profitable thing around.
There's no live appearances in Raleigh.
None.
Yeah, yeah.
That's a Hollywood thing.
I have a record label.
I do a lot of in-
Lil Tuck.
I do a bunch of in-person physical
appearances and stuff.
I host and co-produce several.
There's a very real, outside of
the fact that I enjoy all
the fun shit here thing,
but I like big cities.
I like knowing that prior to this
whole thing, if it was a
wednesday night at 2 a.m i there is a party i can go to i can go to a warehouse and have fun
like in a in like a party environment if i really wanted to it's nice to have those options not
saying i indulged in them more than five times a week but it's nice to know that they exist so
i like la you know it's just like know that they exist. I like LA.
You know who would be a tight fucking X-Man?
There's a guy named Eats-Whatever-He-Wants-Man and he just hangs out in the
mansion and can eat whatever he
wants.
It's just like,
We're going on another mission. Good luck.
You're just
fucking ripped.
It's against the Jelly Beanbean king you can take him
i gotta date with the fucking swiss cheese wizard
this is gonna take that bitch down that would that would be my super power man that'd be sick
i hear you that's crazy rent for 800 square feet. That's insane, dude. Do you want to know?
Here's the very privileged way to explain this,
because if I did not live here,
then conceivably if my second choice outside of the West Coast
would be like Austin, Texas, right?
So if I'm living in Austin,xas like a lot of streamers you you know like you're gonna have to travel for the work that i was doing at minimum
once a month and several times a month on like a normal month the amount of money that you are
losing by not being physically available to stream day before and day after grossly outweighs the
amount of premium you're
paying on your rent oh i understand it like i can see that yeah i i believe it sounds to me like
you're much better off paying 3500 for 800 square feet than you would be in atlanta paying a thousand
dollars for three thousand six hundred dollars it doesn't matter there's no amount like it is truly a weird and difficult thing for me to
explain that not only like my family but like people who watch me and stuff it's like i'm very
acutely aware of how disgustingly expensive it is for me to go to a movie or eat dinner here or do
anything normal like i am very i went tangent i'll come back uh thanksgiving
last year in wilmington north carolina my entire extended family 15 people i was like i got the
bar tab guys don't work go fucking crazy all right it was two dollar well drinks are you i don't even
under that's not even like an amount of money that could even conceive a deal in la i got my
entire extended family hammered for like 300 that's like one bad night of drinking normal
drinks in la like one and it's so cheap in comparison it's so cheap in comparison like
especially apartments and houses here it's so and it's and it's like there's some great i love atlanta
atlanta is like a really fun city grill like really great multi-cultural like you guys have
good food you got good fun it's nice it's it's not new york it's not la but it like you guys
fellowship yeah right yeah you got some good shit but but, and like, I'm very well aware of how expensive it is here.
But like,
even if you removed all of the reasons for me to physically be,
be here,
if I could afford to,
I would absolutely live in a Seattle,
New York or LA.
Like Denver.
Let's go.
Yeah.
Denver.
Denver is good.
Denver's like a really,
they have fiber.
It's one of the sunniest cities in the US. It is literally in a desert.
They got skiing
super close.
The fuck else you want?
Seattle's really nice too
to choose this point. I really love
being there
by the water, whatever you call that
area, the wharf or whatever it is.
Seattle is the amount of days that are
rainy. I know people are going to quote the amount of rainfall.
It is very rainy, but I think,
so I lived up in Portland for eight months.
Heroin capital of the world.
You know, I came from Baltimore, so I was very at home.
Whatever mind.
What I was getting to is,
I feel like a lot of my happiness is solar powered.
And if you like that then all the
cloudy days and the like misty days are just not for you right i don't like the sun um i whenever
i it rained all day today and i loved it like my sleep schedule's fucked up so i'm like i'm up on
i'm sleeping seven hours a day and i'm staying active like when i'm supposed to be up but i'm
up i won't be going to bed tonight you know it's it But I'm up. I won't be going to bed tonight.
It's 10.30 p.m.
I'll be going to bed in about 11 hours.
Something like that.
In the morning.
What time did you wake up today?
An hour before we did this.
Christ.
Whoa.
Whoa.
Yeah.
Because I've been up all night long.
I was up all night long.
I clean in the house up.
It's weird times.
You can use it as an excuse.
I feel like you get more done at night
because nobody's fucking with you and bothering you as well.
There's nobody blowing up my phone.
There's nobody bothering me.
When I wake up, my has like 15 messages from like
five different people i handle all that business and then i'm like all right i'm going to work now
and i turn the phone sitting right here upside down so it doesn't work and uh i don't know it's
i don't know that it's not yeah what that's the thing well not for you apple but but with my phone
i take it upside down it's completely silenced it won't do, flip it upside down, it's completely silenced.
It won't do a thing.
It's a...
There's a lot of little things.
I am, in fact, an Apple user.
With my phone, I don't know.
Again, I never know because this is an old, cheap-ass
Samsung. For all I know,
the iPhone, if you go, illuminate,
it will. But I don't know. I like that if I shake
my phone, the light turns on.
Yeah, it's like if you're scared if someone's in the house it's already on
i'm right here i'm tough many of many of ghoul has been defeated by that little uh
yeah i went to my phones the other day oh go ahead weird on my phones the other day i i heard
that the new iPhone,
like the cheap one, the $300 one or whatever,
was going to be
more powerful than the most expensive Android.
And I started reading up on it
because that interested me.
And then I was just like, wait a minute.
I don't think that's true.
I read it too.
How much power does my phone need?
I mean...
MKBHP or whatever that good-looking black guy's name.
MKBHP.
Yeah, yeah.
Good-looking black tech review guy.
Marcus Brownass.
Yeah, yeah.
He said that the most...
What is the measuring that he's...
Is he using the CPU processor, I believe?
It was in a tweet, but he was saying it was faster and more powerful than the most expensive Android.
But, of course, one thing to keep in mind, and I'm
sure Woody knows this if he read the thing,
Samsung has a better screen.
So more is being drawn
It is literally
the same as every single
time they release a new console, right?
So imagine we're talking Sony
and Xbox. And Xbox
goes, I got 14 gigaflops.
And Sony's like have we have 120 uh
hertz refresh both are very intriguing and very useful things but like neither one of them is
going to tell me which one is better right dude that's like you that's like sega and blast
processing with the genesis back in the day, what the fuck does that mean? Sounds cool, though.
That's cool.
Usually when a budget phone comes out,
it's not better than the flagship phones.
It's an unusual situation.
What is better?
Let me get to this, though.
I feel like the processing speed of a phone isn't even its greatest measure, though.
It's more about the ecosystem.
It doesn't have the apps you want.
Kyle places a lot of value in the easy flashlight.
Those kinds of things are what make a phone valuable i really do because like whenever
somebody's like buying this new phone and they're like yeah it's 1500 and i got the chrome one and
i'm just like what look i am speaking from a place of ignorance that's why this is a question i'm
posing to you what makes your phone better than mine i have to know this isn't me looking down on you or being a
snob or i want to i want to take it on money so i have a feature like your flashlight if i triple
click it's a magnifying glass now i'm old so like the fact that that happens and it's so easy to
read small things or maybe see a small thing like if i think a weld is cracking or something like
that'd be a situation where i'd use it there's dude on a related note i i wear these glasses to pee sometimes and they're
magnifying and it's like who brought the hog bitches i brought the hog bitches
but you're you're 100 right though right like like what is quantifying better like what is inherently
better than one or the other i think that for specifically the iphone se is a great bargain
incredible right um and it probably does most things better than your standard similarly
price point android phone but like to take one metric and, and say like, ah, this is going to be,
this can make so many people mad, but it's like being me going like, Hey, I got a 20 80 TI and
you have a tight necks. I've got more, uh, you've got more cuda cords than me. That's going to help
you render that video faster. Both of us create content. The insignificant amount of, of difference
between you rendering your video and mine is literally
not like no one's going to notice.
It is a real difference.
It is inherently better to use a Titan X and a 1080 Ti to render videos.
But like, it means fuck all.
It means, yeah, it's negligible.
It's negligible.
And look, I'm not someone who falls behind on tech stuff.
Like I've got a
very nice television like my monitor is very nice i have a 2080 ti in in this rig like like i keep
my like technological stuff really up to date the stuff that i whenever they make these advances
but i haven't seen an advance with cell phones in so long i can can't even remember when it was. It's just camera.
Yeah, that's it.
My camera is so good on this phone.
And I know that it's a junkie.
I think this is a $100 phone with the plan.
I think that's what I paid for this thing.
I don't even know what it is.
It may not even have a name.
It's just known as the phone.
It's the Motorola 7.
I can't remember the name of the phone I had a while
back but it was um it had a 4k screen and it took 4k video and and pictures and that was like four
years ago maybe five years ago I couldn't tell I couldn't tell because you know because 4k this
small and 1080p this small or 2k this small you can't see that difference resolution to me matters when you've
got a big honking 75 inch tv right in the room and you're right but the two biggest things from a
user standpoint that um and i've had you know done brand deals with like all of the android market
and i recently purchased an iphone specifically because of the i think woody said it like the ecosystem
i or maybe yeah literally i would get i would get flamed by people in the music industry because i
did not have blue text i was like this is such an absurd metric to talk to me but like fine if that's
like the oh do you get that too all my all my friends that i talk to like my real life friends
all they do is like text something and they'll like, we got poor ass green text in chat.
We got poor green text.
Get a fucking iPhone, retard.
And I'm like, I just, I go in there.
I would have got, I have no loyalty to any phone brands.
That seems very lame to me.
It is very lame.
Like when I went in, I was like, last time I got a phone, I was like, oh, the iPhone.
Okay, maybe I'll switch to iPhone this time. Oh, wait, is that the one that doesn't have like a jack for audio literally oh
no then i don't know and she's like well but there's a very handy thing you plug in i'm like
no that's a dongle they got rid of those in the 90s i'm not using i've got a fucking 3.5 jack on
this i just use normal audio jacks the thing about the camera is i agree with blame truth like
i thought my camera was fine and then every so often like a friend shows me their picture and it's like oh i see
i'm three years out of date camera tech is the camera tech is the number one driver in getting
new phones and it is a very clear difference between current camera tech and last gen the two
or i guess i should say the three things that matter to me as somebody who is
like my job is making good audio good camera quality and having like an accessible phone
that is good for sharing all this stuff is screen refresh rate uh so i had the razor phone too
because i am hashtag sponsored by razor 120 hertz on your phone screen is probably the best shit I've ever seen in my
entire life.
Like it is alarming how much better it just makes typing emails feel,
which again,
negligible,
right?
Like,
well,
no,
you're saying it's more fluid.
It's,
it's slicker.
I like that.
It's inherently twice as smooth as anything you're doing on your phone.
It doesn't matter what tech they have. It is just, that is the the way it's time for me to get a new phone this is this is why
i've been bringing this up um it's time for a new one this one is slowing down it's like when i go
to do things they're what do you got there pixel four pixel four get it i'd say no whoa hold on get it through uh it's a thousand dollar phone but
during black friday i got it through uh google fives they have a network it's called google
fi that's i'm on google fi yeah yeah you can get one for super cheap i got this for 500 bucks
it was half off on black friday uh google fi is fucking amazing and you can tell the difference with this camera
to yours if you do switch no i believe you i believe yeah now do you want do you want my uh
i don't know how much that is but my personal recommendation which i don't use and i think
i've never used before is the uh one one plus eight, I think it's called.
So it's 120 Hertz refresh,
48 megapixel rear camera.
It's got tri cameras.
It's like one of the,
it's probably the biggest independent manufacturer for Android hardware.
And MKBHD does have a video on this.
You can watch it and like get all of his pros and cons and whatever.
But like, if you're going to spend money to buy a brand new phone i'm fairly certain that one plus
will also work on google fi because they yeah i'll look into it like i'll tell you the things i do
with my phone i i get on reddit you know i do social media shit i text a ton i i do use it as
a telephone sometimes i do take tons of pictures like i like to cook, so I'm always taking pictures of food
and sending the people the stuff I've cooked.
You can always count on Kyle for funny images throughout the day.
For some great funny images.
But you want, I think, screen refresh rate and battery life
are the two biggest things that I give a shit about.
I will not buy a phone under
4 000 milliamp hour ecosystem like like okay just the other day colin lost his ipod right it's we
call it his phone but you picture it a little ipod phone looking thing um we didn't know where it was
and anyone here might be stressed if they lost their phone but colin's special needs it's a whole
nother level right he's fighting back tears.
He's running around.
He lost it while mowing.
So we don't know where it is or how destroyed it is.
It's in there.
Places it could be lost.
I mowed a phone once.
Okay.
Exactly the diameter of the house.
So Jackie comes out.
She presses a button on her watch and sounds it off.
And we find it immediately.
Like that kind of shit has a lot of value to us.
But you know that that is also an available feature sounds it off and we find it immediately like that kind of shit has a lot of value to us can't
you just but you know that that is also an available feature on every single android phone
yeah that too i've got like find my phone no i've just been in the same ecosystem for ages
there's right and that's and that's both the positive and the negative like you like i can
ask my google home right now hey call my phone yeah I do that with
right it doesn't even have to like the locked in ecosystem is strict is I shouldn't say strictly
it's very heavily weighted towards uh Apple products right like you need iTunes you need
your like all these work together the only Apple product I have is my iPhone and it makes my life
super difficult when I'm trying to do anything else outside of that but all the features that all these work together. The only Apple product I have is my iPhone and it makes my life super
difficult when I'm trying to do anything else outside of that.
But all of the features that I do have with my iPhone,
I do have in some capacity with Android.
Yes,
it is not nearly as seamless.
Like if I want to put in my,
my Bluetooth earbuds,
like I have to click a button on my phone.
What was me?
But it is, but it is kind of nice on my phone. Woe is me.
But it is kind of nice to have my... When Jackie walks up to
her notebook, it
unlocks for her and there's no password
because it senses that her watch came over.
They all do that. That's not a special thing.
Well, you have facial recognition.
Those aren't secure
features at all. That's not quite as cool.
Yeah, well, wear her watch,
Kyle. I don't know if i
set my facial recognition a year ago it wouldn't recognize me today
alert alert some fat fuck is trying
nobody nobody why are people all right this is such a bad take why are people so anal about like the ability to potentially defraud
facial recognition on their cell phone like because i'll tell you why i'll tell you right
right now um you're in a state where marijuana is legal uh most people are not um so if you have
talked about any weed uh or done any sort of marijuana buying or selling or say hey would
you like some marijuana you can come smoke it with me.
Well, you've just distributed marijuana.
And so what a cop has to do to unlock your phone now,
and he can and will, is take your phone and click the click.
And open your phone.
Is this not inherently limited?
Are they allowed to do that?
Yeah.
They're allowed to take your finger and put it on your phone.
Is this state dependent?
Is this state dependent?
Well, yeah. Not all states have legal marijuana marijuana or are you talking about the search and seizure no i'm talking about
the search and seizure because i mean actually you're you're right your entire point still stands
however almost like you're the cop can still put your finger on the phone don't do your fingers
they should have dick what do you mean what I mean that neither of those are secure methods of lock...
So Kyle, are you suggesting a password and you just refuse?
My phone takes a nine digit fucking number.
All right?
You can do that.
I'm not kidding.
You can do that with every phone though.
I know.
No, no, no, no, no.
But what he's saying is this is why people care.
I'm not arguing for Sega or Nintendo or... I'm not making, no, no, no, no. But what he's saying is this is why people care. I'm not arguing for Sega or Nintendo.
I'm not making a comparison, dude.
I'm saying locking your phone with your face or your thumb are ineffective security.
Nah, dude.
I want to fight about this.
Honestly, fine.
Yeah.
You're not wrong.
They are ineffective security.
I want to go to trivia, but I have a question for Kyle.
They are ineffective security. I want to go to trivia, but I have a question for Kyle.
Kyle, they're allowed to do that?
Use your face or your finger and sort of like against your will, unlock your phone?
That's a thing that happens?
Not in California.
Okay.
Yeah, I didn't know that.
Don't do that.
Your state sucks.
I'm never going there.
Again, unless they pay me a lot.
Don't do those things.
And then I will tell you to go to Atlanta.
I didn't do those.
I'm not speaking from experience i'm not
saying that happened to me i'm saying that it will happen to you i i've had i've spent a lot
of money on lawyers and i've gotten a lot of education about things just like that where
you are inherently better okay you are in fact better equipped to answer this question
put a fucking number on there just just and after a, you get so quick at putting that number in there.
5, 3, 2, 9, 6, 4, 4, 8.
Oh, no, I said it.
No, that's not my number.
But you get so quick at putting your number in that you're just...
And it's open.
It's fast.
Kyle's just...
1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9.
No.
It's definitely not that.
1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1.
0, 0, 0, 0.
That's the kind of code an idiot uses on his luggage.
It's literally not.
You ever hear those stories where it's like,
so-and-so broke into the Pentagon using password 1?
No, it was like, that's not good.
Roger Stone, or maybe it wasn't Stone,
it was one of his cohorts, right?
One of those groups.
His password was James Bond 007.
Okay, I like that password.
That's kind of cool.
Or maybe it was bond 007
it's just like really and it's for all sorts of things like like like if you you could get
arrested without being without doing anything criminal and you could just you could be
associated with somebody that you didn't know had a joint on them and then right you could be but
now you're part of a drug investigation and if there's anything in your phone that you wouldn't want everyone to see,
then you should use a number code.
I'm not saying you've got heroin deals in your phone.
I'm just saying if you don't want your dick pic to potentially end up on TMZ,
put a fucking number on that bitch.
But can I be devil's advocate here?
You sure can.
All right.
So you play Tarkov, right?
Oh, yeah.
You sure can.
All right.
So you play Tarkov, right?
Oh, yeah.
So all of the access perms that you've given Tarkov specifically are equally as invasive, both to your browsing details,
like the anti-cheat, the level that it runs.
Also, Valorant is the other.
Actually, Valorant is the hot topic.
It runs at kernel zero.
So before anything happens
on your pc if you want to play valorant that that uh anti-sheet is operating the second your
computer turns on no matter what it doesn't matter if you're playing the game or not it's always
there so like my question is if you are concerned about being forced forcibly required to unlock your phone with facial recognition, I feel like you're
missing steps one, two, three, four, and five. No, I hit all those steps. There's not anything
on my computer that I wouldn't want to share, like slide right in here. You're a special breed.
You are a different breed of person. I'm just talking about the in general here like i don't think that facial recognition is a bad metric the reason it's bad is because it's unlikely that
that that your your your pc there is going to to be it is unlikely whereas it's also unlikely
very likely that your phone will become an issue because if you get pulled over and the guy next
to you you don't know what he might you. He might look like somebody who's fucking wanted for God knows what.
You could easily end up with your phone being compromised.
And maybe it's not even you that did something.
Maybe I texted you.
Maybe it's somebody else.
Me doing something.
And now the evidence is on your phone.
So you're fucking all your friends too.
You know what I mean?
And again, not a big deal to just put a code in you know it isn't a service security
the better i don't think that anybody's going to be like yo having redundant security is a bad idea
like having a if in fact you could set it so you could have a passcode uh i know that android has
a way where if you input your your password within um the last five minutes so it's like you you do
something you unlock your phone you do something you put it down in five minutes from that last
passcode you don't have to put that passcode in again like maybe you just want to re-type you
know text somebody you can set that timer you can change the amount yeah i have one second three
seconds five seconds anytime the screen goes black i have to re-enter it. Mine is instant.
If I press the off button,
this thing locks.
That's an option.
I don't think that's an option for iPhone.
I think we should move past phone security.
Yeah, we can move past phone security.
Let's go to...
It's a big hot topic right now, Taylor.
Zero exceptions.
Everybody's foaming at the mouth for more of this
let's talk about that zigzag line pattern which ones are best i like i'm more of a zigzaggy line
oh i'm more of a zag person taylor i think you're vulnerable oh no everyone stop but me i'm doing
this show solo there's a piece of me just hoping that they're pretending to sit still.
But I don't think that's true.
Fuck you.
All right.
That's the first thing we picked up.
That was really uncalled for.
Yeah, yeah.
So my Discord froze.
We took a break.
Put it back on.
Here we go.
We're going to come back with the trivia.
I have so first
you know it was like punishment
drinks in the beginning it wasn't necessarily hot
salsa that's what everyone's doing we're just
drinking the entire time that you're going to
ask these questions
and all I have in the house for hot sauce
is red hot which I view is kind of
mild and not much of a punishment
it's very beta it's kind of a bitch
for you alcohol is very beta that was's kind of a bitch shot. For you, alcohol is the bigger punishment.
That was the idea. You have two Tabasco
boys. I finished that. You have soy sauce.
And Jackie brought me baby food. No!
That'll kill you. You can't do that.
So I have
Love My Veggies baby food
to eat this time around
and Love My Veggies. So do you guys
want orange or purple?
As long as there's some booze mixed in, I'm good with orange.
I don't have any booze.
You don't have any booze.
You just drank a cup.
That's it.
I drank it.
Welcome to my house.
Imagine only having one drink of booze.
My man's got four sunrooms and no booze.
How do you enjoy your sunrooms if you don't have your casual Thursday glass of wine?
It's funny that Woody's the one who's like, I'm silly.
I have, I could just enjoy myself sober.
What are the flavors?
Okay.
Well, this one is organic bananas, beets, squash, and blueberries.
And this one is carrots, bananas, mangoes, and sweet potatoes.
The carrots one sounds worse.
The carrots one sounds worse, yeah.
That first one you said I drink.
That first one sounds like a...
That sounds good, yeah.
What was it, blueberries in there?
Sounds pretty good.
I'll let you know.
I think the second one, throw a little ginger in there,
and you got yourself like a breakfast smoothie.
Throw a couple shots of vodka in there. You got yourself a fun afternoon.
We'll see what George Foreman thinks.
Me, every time I see a glass
of water.
Yeah, because you drink vodka waters, you're probably just like,
you know, I could really spice up this
little hydration endeavor I'm engaging in.
Alright, Chiz.
Hit us with the
talk a little bit first so we can make sure
you got that same better sound.
Did you explain the rules to blame truth?
No.
And the rules seem to be so specious.
I'll do my best.
So he's going to ask a question.
If you want to buzz in,
you say your name at that point,
you are buzzing in because you know the answer.
If you don't,
then there's like a second phase where there's multiple choice and you buzz in
with your name again.
That make sense?
Let's do it, Chase.
Very difficult question here.
Who was the first guest
ever on K.A.?
I don't know the answer to that.
Do we need to take this
to multiple choice?
Pink Ranger
You are correct
Everyone else shoot
Wait Pink Ranger was the first guess
She was and I knew it
I just wasn't sure it was Ranger
I was afraid that her real name was like Pink Cowboy or something
You have two
What's the one on the right
What's the one on the right
This one is
Tabasco This one is, okay, this is Tabasco.
This one is a homemade hot sauce that a viewer made and it's fucking hot.
Yeah.
The Chipotle Tabasco is like,
how do we neuter good hot sauce?
It's good.
It's not,
but it's good.
It's fine.
It's good.
Yeah.
You guys,
you need original Tabasco.
That's, that's the champion on every burrito.
That's part of the reason I go to Cali
over at Qdoba is because I love a bunch
of this on my burrito. Let me tell you right now,
you should all buy Secret
Aardvark. It comes in packs of three.
It is the best
salsa hot sauce
that you can have for an everyday.
One you can put on eggs
chicken what's it called those secret aardvark yeah aardvark it was the it was i love my hot
sauce it was the it was the third hot sauce on uh hot ones for the first two seasons i think
i don't know if they keep using it aardvark i oh it's habanero that's not that bad okay no no no no it's it's it is habanero
but it's twice as hot as tabasco yeah yeah it's not like uh i'm gonna shit myself like it's the
hottest this is habanero i think and it's it's pretty stout it's pretty stout but i can i can
handle it i bet it would go really good on eggs oh my god every scrambled eggs is the number one
the hottest everyday hot sauce i will have
scrambled eggs and that great we should probably go to the next question
i'm just reveling in another video
but i was really enjoying hot sauce
anyway all right number two during a PKA prank call,
Kyle gave a woman
who wouldn't listen to him
an infamous nickname for
what was that nickname?
Repeat the last part.
Kyle.
During a prank call, Kyle gave
a terrible woman who wouldn't listen
a nickname for her mouth.
What was it?
Kyle.
Kyle, go ahead.
I called her mouth a cock holster.
That is correct.
You stole that joke from me a week earlier.
I swear that's true.
Dude, the trivia in this is just like Charity McDennis where it's like like no yeah you say and this one thing and because every question
we are so we have such an lame truth yeah they they're like hey we're gonna figure out what the
guests get and what we get and i've been here this whole goddamn time and every question is so
targeted to specifics i'm like i don't know we never going to win. If you watch the show, you'd
know this.
Yeah, you guys have done the
show for 10 years.
You know damn well nobody's watching
your show.
I was like, what the hell?
Alright, so Kyle,
you answered it without any sort of
help.
Everybody takes a drink.
I already did it.
I already did it.
Wait, wait, wait.
What are you making the face of, baby?
What does it taste like?
I thought that one was bad.
Yeah, what does it describe it?
I can taste the carrot, banana, mango, and sweet potatoes in it.
But somehow there's like a tangy thing.
And it might be the consistency, the mush of it that gets to me
more than the taste of it.
Is it a...
Is it like a good
consistency? Like you could rub it on
chicken? Or is it like
applesauce?
There's just so much
vinegar.
Maybe like a mango salsa
goes really well on fish.
That's what I'm saying. You put it over your chicken and you grill that?
Nobody does that with this.
Robocop, maybe.
Alright, Chiz.
Alright, I will accept
a few answers.
The birth of RSK
came from a prank call ordering
the following
Shady
Only related
Under dark circumstances supplied
Now I'm going to list some things off
You need to fill in
Duct tape was part of it
K1 jelly was part of it
Big butcher knife
And whipped cream
What is something else that you guys asked?
I got a couple.
There's pantyhose and trash bags.
Okay, I will accept the trash bags.
I will accept the trash bags.
Specifically, black trash bags so the mess doesn't shine.
Dude, this fucking sucks, man.
This is so shit.
That's a pretty infamous episode.
I like how you're taking pieces of it, by the way.
This is a tablespoon.
Oh, a tablespoon.
I got a big spoon, too.
I didn't know how else to do this.
I started out the episode with a shot glass.
Imagine where I'd be.
Shitting in the bathroom.
I want you all to know
that this is exactly the way a 10
year anniversary of this show should go.
There's nothing you could
do that would make this any more fit
for your 10 year anniversary than
Woody's internet dropping,
his bike cutting out,
everybody not really enjoying
themselves with the hot sauce.
It's well put together.
It's just the guests.
Is anyone curious what the final score is?
Dude, five.
I think Taylor won.
So in terms of the guests versus the hosts, I'm sorry, but the guests got zero.
Wow.
And the hosts got 15.
So that's pretty great.
Wait, but who's leading the hosts?
I will tell you that third place just came through real hard.
Kyle with a solid two-pointer right there.
Very nice.
Very nice.
Then we've got six, and that is Taylor.
Taylor with six points.
Now, what's crazy is with the score very almost identically similar,
Woody, you got seven points.
I'm sorry. What? Wow.
There is no fucking way.
There is no fucking way that I haven't gotten the most points.
I may or may not
have messed up one of the first
two scores in the round, but
I'm pretty confident with these numbers. I can't
understand what Chiz said, but it sounds... I don't care anymore.
At $20,000 on the Patreon,
we get Chiz some internet.
It sounds like he's an underwater
Chiz I had a nice time with my mom
Who was Alaska
And it sounded so much crisper than this
I don't know where you are
But it is irresponsible to do that
Damn I might throw up
I want to circle back to the time where everyone said it was fine but me
Shut up I said it was fine but me.
Shut up.
Yeah, I said it was fine because I just wanted to move forward with it.
I'm going to kill you, Tucker.
Woody is right.
You can't kill me.
I mean, what was option B?
All right, Chiz, you're going to need a hard hat, a shovel, and some pliers.
All right?
Who knows what option B would have been?
This really is the end of my rope.
I tried a hard connection, a Wi-Fi, and a cell phone.
So I was out of options. We didn't try a string with a solo cup.
Did we talk about PK?
Did you talk about things we were changing with PK?
What did fans tell him?
Did we?
We're going to release the audio versions out faster.
I think that's what he's getting out there.
You guys drooling a lot?
I'm drooling.
Yeah, I'm drooling a lot.
It's the hot sauce.
It really just activates those glands, and you just start drowning in your own.
I feel 14 months old again.
I don't think we're very clear at all.
Woody's got fucking vitamins and minerals in his system now.
We've got vinegar and fucking cayenne pepper. I don't think we're very clear at all. Woody's got fucking vitamins and minerals in his system now. We've got vinegar and fucking cayenne pepper.
I don't think we're very clear at all.
What is going to change about the schedule?
So I think that the PKA one currently comes out a week late.
It's going to come out Monday.
So it's going to be like two days later.
And the PKN is a week later too.
And it comes out sometime sooner, maybe Thursday.
Yeah.
So currently, if you're an audio listener of PKA,
you can kind of feel like
it's a recent history and not current news.
That'll get much faster.
Also, we'll be updating the Patreon
milestones. A lot of
things will be changing May 1st.
Hopefully. We just gotta get final
approval. Yeah, May 1st. So if you want
to be part of the May bunch of Patreons
who are getting the new deal
as we're going to call it henceforth,
I've decided just now,
you'll want to sign up now before May begins.
Also, our monthly hangout
coming up soon-ish.
So all you
patrons get ready for that. Have a good time as always,
I'm sure. We'll get to see our
boy You-Know-Who do tons
of illicit drugs while we all watch on
and semi-horror.
Hello?
Who?
We do this thing.
$10 patrons.
Or excuse me, $50 patrons
get to hang out with us for several
hours once a month in this big group
call, kind of like what we're doing right now. we have one participant who has i'm not going to give
anything away about him but um his name is pete pete davis no i'm kidding he uh he has a
his life is going real well he's in a in a really good uh job sort of situation. every time we see him, he's doing
different drugs. Last week,
it was Whippets. You might be like,
oh, okay, he did a Whippet or two? No.
He had that cartridge with...
He was doing canisters.
He was doing canisters.
The Whippets were like, we'd be talking
and having the... Wait, we're talking about these ones.
They were like CO2 tanks. talking about these ones that's not don't don't that's uh that's not that's like a it's like a drink yeah okay well
it's a little thing i don't i don't do whippets i don't fucking know but he'll do a bunch of them
and then he'll just kind of become complacent for a little while and then maybe like eight to ten
minutes after that he's like yeah what's good guys
you know we just watched you
you mean to tell me I can pay
for this content
he does acid
he smokes weed
he's shooting steroids
really
and for the longest time he's paying
$50 a month to hang out with us
and for the first I think 8 to 10 months that he would come on, he'd be like, yeah, guys, I'm here.
I just bought a new headset from Best Buy.
And then as soon as this chat's over, I drive back to Best Buy and return it.
And it was like, but you do this every month.
Why are you doing this to Best Buy?
Just buy the headset.
Just enjoy the headset. But but yeah that guy's hilarious and honestly people be like oh pk is so ridiculous just a bunch of uh you know young
white gamers watching it our hangouts are genuinely very diverse yeah they really are it's it's my
favorite move same guy i think a tinder date did him wrong in some very minor ways.
So he stole him.
Can I stop you there, please?
Yes.
I feel like if we start telling stories about him,
we may have told those stories before while not talking about his drug use.
So I think maybe telling too many stories,
because nobody has a great memory about this sort of thing.
Maybe one time we told a funny story about him and talked about who he is.
And while now we just talked about his drug use.
And we tied that to the funny story, which links over to who he is.
So maybe chill on that.
I like the guy who's Asian in our chat.
And he shows up with a rice paddy hat and an AK-47.
That guy rocks.
He looks like he's from fucking Rambo 2 or something.
It's hilarious.
Yeah.
There's a number of people in that chat that are fucking hysterical.
Yes, several of them are drugged out,
like real fucking super stoned.
How much to buy into this?
$50 a month
That's
If you showed up
One month that would be so
We'd let you in Tucker
If you guys let me in
I'm down
I have a Patreon question
I mean if you guarantee you're there
Then we'll sell the Patreon
No that's way different
I gotta be the surprise Okay we'll sell the patreon no that's way different i gotta be the
okay we'll pick your poison what do you pay the 50 or i guess for at least it's a 50 value
all we're doing a few thousand people that they pay my way there you know i think we can prorate
tucker's fee all right i said we give it to him for free, but then we have to advertise it.
Hey, you get Tucker too for your $50 this month.
What's your opinion?
This is how I want Tucker and BlameJuice to weigh in.
Yes.
On starting a YouTube channel slash streaming career now,
easier than it was when you started?
Or what are the challenges newer people face
that you didn't have to care about?
It's super easy if you have tits.
Money. Tits and money money tits and money i think you go first i got
the second one all right um i've actually had a few female friends break into streaming and i've
told them like verbatim i've told them okay uh wear some low-cut tops and don't play games just just do just chatting
and they would do that and they would see good success and they try to branch out the games
or dress normally and their views would plummet and i'm like i'm not fucking making this up
twitch is not the best twitch because i love twitch but it's full of uh
stay in your lane. Not to bash Twitch, because I love Twitch, but it's full of
lonely
simps.
Tucker, did you
see our good friend and
your associate, Loomy, showing a bit of
skin the other day on Twitter?
Nope. I'll help you out.
Tucker, what's your take on the...
I'll go. Let me go second.
I'll go in the middle. Yeah, go ahead.
I'll go third. I think that it's a little
easier to start now. I think that
the kind of money that
a mid-level streamer,
the third biggest guy in his game
or fifth biggest guy in his game makes
is parallel to what a
titan of YouTube from 2013
would make. That it's possible
to earn an actual living and have an actual
streaming career now without being Summit or Ninja or Shroud
or one of the titans.
Whereas before, you were either them or it was a hobby.
Now there's so many more viewers.
Viewers are trained to pay, right?
People didn't willingly give up $2 a pop
all the time back in the day.
Now it's like, if you like the content, time back in the day now it's like if you
like the content then support the content creator and it's kind of built into the twitch culture
and that wasn't the case back in the day if people found out you were advertising they were very mad
at what a money whore you were now that's what you're doing so i i think that there's more money
to be made as a non-titan now and it makes it this has more open doors
yeah i want to uh tucker i want your take for sure yeah uh uh i think woody's sentiment was
right in that that there is a um more accessible pool of money i like to think of streaming as like a infinite pool of money and i know that sounds
awful but like just let me quantify it right you have it right it is very accessible in that if you
are someone who is either what are you pouring into your mylanta for mylanta all right look i think that i think that yes inherently the floor for people that are
trying to use twitch and or other platforms as like an objectifiable like i am attractive and
let me earn money the floor for that the barrier of entry is super low it's a webcam right you plug that
fucker in you're in 1080p like whatever you want to do you're good to go it doesn't matter if you
want to stream somebody else's content your gameplay it's the barrier of entry is one
logitech c920 right yeah however i think that especially with the group of people that we have in this phone call, the longevity, the ability to build from whatever you are taking opportunistic leaps into that has stayed the same for the entirety of the time we've all been doing this if you are an attractive female who is good at video games hell yeah you're way
you're infinitely better off than somebody who is an unattractive male who's good at video games
right that's just welcome to it like the demographic of people that are consuming content
are just interested in that that's how the demographics work you got 90 male no shit an
attractive female who's as good as somebody who's ugly and equally as good
is not going to get the same content i just i will say i will say this i'll butt in and say that uh
one of the reasons i wanted to get in better shape and stuff is because i wanted sugar mamas
on my twitch stream and you want to eventually paint your tits on stream i do in fact i'm going
to as soon as i get low enough body fat
man it's happening you need to quadruple your body feed blame truth get you some from from
blame truth and tucker the two pro streamers i'm very new to twitch and streaming you know
i already had a couple close calls but what would you recommend someone like me do to to really seize the day and be successful
uh your views are good dude like what are your views what are your views i usually i get
um if i play a game it's less but usually if i'm like just chatting it's like
a good deal over 500 everybody needs to stop using just like that section as like a metric for
their uh like audience retention just chatting is like a uh it's like a watermill of like hey
i'm just watching some shit like let me go hang out but like you need to you need to do like a
bunch of different games and then get like an
assessment for like an array of people why is just chatting here's the thing
i just your channel success i'll answer that after just yeah i was gonna say i disagree with
that actually i think you should roll with just chatting and do uh sort of a um scheduled almost like a one-man podcast with your twitch viewers
how often that's kind of what i'm doing maybe take questions for like money like bits you know
monetize shit see i i i do answer all the the donation and bit questions and shit or at least
address them but like i i'm engaging with my chat the whole time
like i'm still to the point like like you pop into tucker's feed and there's no way to engage
with the chat it moves so fast you can't even fucking read anything so hard i mean there's no
way to engage easily it's going so by so fast whereas like if like a really good stream that
i have is like 800 people that's really really fucking good. More normal is like 500.
And like,
I,
I like shooting the shit with them because they're like fans of this show
and fans of me.
And so their sense of humor,
I think is funny.
And every,
so,
so my two very separate topics.
All right.
Number one,
um,
two very separate topics all right number one um the idea of you not being able to communicate with your stream is a is a uh it's like a climate thing so when you remember when i was like oh
you raid me like ah like your entire community is about to get timed out for the entirety of your raid like that's solely because of my like
emote spam blacklist like i just don't need to see 300 emote spams from one guy right like i want i
want in like i want i want i want somebody i'm not trying to be a dick when i raid you i don't know
the rules it's not there's no rules and that's like a very uh you you bring it
up like that's that's something that people don't stream often kind of feel like oh there's got to
be some like legality some rules behind no like your community is your community that's why like
when you raid me i'm like all right boys strap in we're gonna talk about a little bit of uh real
sweet kids and no other absolutely no other things right like
you handle it and you right but like the the be all end all is that like if you're
if you're if you're in just chatting and you have maybe once a week this consumable content i do the
same thing every Friday.
I just go through Reddit and I like look at mean videos.
That's fine.
But you can, I firmly believe you cannot build a,
oh God, this sucks, a product on just chatting, right?
Like you have to have some sort of monetizable aspect
around yourself that is not indicative of other people's content.
So if you're watching other people's YouTube videos, great.
That's Tosh.0.
That's Rob Dyrdek's, what is that, Ridiculousness?
There's a billion shows.
That's Conan.
You're a talk show host.
But you can't do that seven days a week.
So I think I've got a little bit of experience with this just from a different
arena. What I did,
it's like, if we can monetize
what's in the video
as much as what the video's about,
you can quadruple your revenue
stream.
If I'm shooting
a specific gun or shooting a specific kind of ammo
or wearing this hat, if you ever saw me wear a hat,
I was getting paid to wear that fucking hat. I don't wear
hats.
I was getting paid for the pants I wore.
For shirts, if you didn't see me wearing a shirt
with my name on it, I was getting paid to wear it.
True.
If I mention a product ever,
pretty much, especially
if I'm really being nice about it, I'm getting
paid to do it. The way to do that,
there's a couple ways to do that.
Obviously, if you're in the gaming arena, if you're big enough you see shroud constantly getting just
paid cash to play a game or or sponsored by this keyboard or that mouse or this headset or that
mic all those things are possible but those you can go beyond that because gaming isn't you're
not an expert gamer what you're good at is being personable and being you. Lifestyle. And your personal interest might be of some value.
If you worked out and you had 10,000 people watching you lift weights
and then you showed good enough results that people thought that you were
at least a good example for how they could get those same results,
now the kind of weights that Taylor used matter.
Not just the type of brand of weights that Taylor used matter.
What kind of protein powder is that guy on it you nailed it should i do workout streams where i
stream myself like bench dressing and shit dude yes no absolutely yeah i mean i'm like yes
absolutely and he's like no no no fuck blame you no yes i agree you should do it just for your own sake. And no, I don't agree that that is a verifiable way of you building like your.
Like your network, right?
Like, yeah, no, I genuinely appreciate all this advice as successful as you are.
So like you would say, branch out, play different games, try and almost create like a little niche for yourself in all those little areas.
And then that as an you know
amalgamation will be enough to carry you to the next level if i can if i can give you a and i'm
so sorry poke if i can give you like a targeted start to finish of what you should you specifically specifically should look for and anyone else look at poke lulz p-o-k-e-l-a-w-l-s
pokey lol yeah p-o-k-e-l-a-w-l-s all right so this man so this man plays with like xqc
and soda poppin and he's like he streams like vr content and he does
tarkov and he does fucking just chatting streams it depends on like what do you want from your
stream if you have the inherent ability to earn revenue from your stream then it is way different
from like todd who's in like massachusetts that just wants to like have some fun.
Right.
Yeah.
No, I would like to make it lucrative because eventually like.
Right.
It'd be fun to do this a lot more.
Yeah.
You want to.
Exactly.
Exactly.
So Polk is is one of those people that just understands like a people and you, Taylor, are in the same subset as like hey people just
like watching you be you like i want to see taylor order out at a taco bell at 3 a.m like i don't
know if it's going to be like great taylor but it's going to be taylor doing his right so yeah
i have like a personality based fan and so the reason that like it turned away
from the gaming thing initially is like i did a gaming stream and i had like maybe maybe 300 to
high 200s low 300s well see like i'm new to it i i don't know i i was looking at viewership as
kind of a metric of what you should be looking at don't don't do that and it's not viewership
based i i don't know wait i don't know i was gonna say don't do that. Twitch is not viewership based. I don't know.
Wait, wait.
I don't know.
I was going to say,
I agree.
Don't look at viewership
because I don't get the most viewership,
but I have like a fucking cult,
basically.
PKA is a cult.
You guys are literally running a cult.
It's actually alarming.
Legally, we can only just say that.
We've heard it called a church
because that's...
Yeah, that's how we avoid taxes.
It feels like a cult.
It is not a cult.
I feel...
I am so accessible.
Cults pay taxes.
Churches don't.
Stop using the fucking cult word.
You should be able to not pay taxes.
That shit sucks.
You pay taxes?
My man paying taxes.
Where is the painkiller already non-taxable income yeah so
tucker you would say branch out play different games kind of like put your finger in a bunch
of different pies and keep it variety based more than focusing on the actual viewership are you
capable of it's there's two it's it's like two tiers like are you gonna be okay and that's like a royal you
you kyle and woody like are you guys okay with just doing what you're doing right now because
if so all of you can make a a living doing whatever you're doing paint painkiller already
game streams whatever you're fine like like you can do well i can't i i still work normal day jobs
and shit it would be awesome if i ever got to the point that i could turn twitch into a thing
if you're poor just let me know i'm poor compared to you guys but i'm i do well for the average guy
no no no i'm sorry i was being very yeah i know i know i know you're
being a 40 yeah uh uh yeah like like woody and kyle and and the entire show you guys have built
up is an incredible uh like it's it's a it's a great formula on how to like make consumable content that people pay for
if you want to get on retirement money like twitch is absolutely the easiest way to do so
however the way that you're approaching it is too uh harsh i don't want to say hard like there's edgy content on twitch and you have a place to
thrive however like i feel like you get a chuckle off of something super racist and you're like
yeah i think our fan base would be 35 to 40 percent further our fan base would revolt
if we became Twitch friendly.
You don't have to, but that's...
Yeah, you don't have to be Twitch friendly.
You can...
If we were going Twitch, we would. Maybe I misunderstood
what you were saying.
I'm Twitch friendly when I'm on Twitch.
You cannot stream this.
What we are doing currently
is not Twitch friendly.
Despite the fact that this episode is
largely... More Twitch friendly than currently is not twitch friendly despite the fact that this episode is largely uh actually
more twitch friendly than average although we were pretty excited about heather's return
yeah we haven't been yeah heather heather was doing her um this is where you this is your patreon
this is like your direct funding this is your npr hey we're we're raising money for you to continue to listen to this
that doesn't mean that you are all three of you before i guess are incapable of segment
segmenting yourself into like very profitable subsets of that twitch like people very much
are like twitch super sj SJW they're honestly not
that bad.
I feel like we didn't answer the question.
They're really not that bad.
I've had a couple of honest slip-ups
on my stream.
Just really honest things where I'm watching something
that
That's okay. You're just racist.
Honestly.
This was not the racist part. This was a nudity part. No, dude. That's okay, though. God honest, you're just racist. Honestly, I'm going to say...
This was not the racist part.
This was a nudity part.
Yeah, I've had that happen.
Oh, those things, fine, yeah.
If you...
Yeah, I've had that happen before, too.
Oh, yeah, I'm not watching racist shit.
It's mainly if your viewers actually report you.
If they like you, it's cool.
You know, like, I've actually opened up fucking, like, Hentai videos somebody sent me as a joke,
or, you know, i've watched let's
circle back to the question we've gone so far off topic is it easier or harder now to start a
streaming career i'd say it's harder unless you are a uh already established on another platform
which you are so i mean you have an advantage i mean uh and or if you're not a hot girl
i prefer tucker's version where it's easier because it's encouraging to me.
It is easier.
I will stand firmly.
I understand your idea of like, man, if you're a girl, you're like instantly gating yourself to like 100.
That's not wrong.
I had a girl.
I had a girl on.
We were going to do what I was going to do a drinking a drinking stream and she was like i want to come on so i was like if you come on you're gonna make me like
an extra 300 you know that right and she's like what why and i'm like because you exist like and
she came on and we made we made 450 dollars that night 450 bucks450 in fucking tips. And I'm like, I fucking told you.
And what did that person do?
What did that person do?
Where's her Twitch stream?
She didn't make one.
She works a real job.
Great, so it's irrelevant.
Yes.
I will reiterate what I said earlier.
The floor of streaming is very low.
Get yourself a 720p 30 FPS webcam for $60.
And you could probably pull 4000 viewers in Twitch just chatting.
If you really wanted to be like a pussy out like you probably could right however why are you not why are you um
all of the people in this call have been doing this for 10 years
at minimum right every single one of us right yeah none of us are doing this at minimum because like the opportunity was
there and we wrote it and then that was that like the important value here is yes you can be a
female and get more viewers right now on twitch but like in three months in six months what about
in a year like what are you doing that's gonna keep somebody
there with you for every person in here yeah the better for worse a bit right right for better for
worse like people still remember kyle's fucking two-armed aa12 videos right like that video
rocked i will never get that video it did did. And people still remember Woody's Minecraft server,
and we still remember your fucking COD video.
Nobody remembers my shit.
You don't have to try.
Taylor played zombies that one time.
I remember Taylor making it to level five.
Right.
I remember making multiple videos in a row of the same content,
the same video shit, and me talking over it differently, and everyone's
like, yeah, nobody actually gives a shit
what you're going to do. Just make jokes
for us. This is kind of a background thing.
What also caught me about those videos, it was funny
to me, because it's one thing
if you made level 123
and you wanted to use that twice.
That's not what happened. You made level 7
and used it again.
And it just ran away. I won't seven. Used it again. And he just ran back and said,
I won't get him better this time.
Because at some point I realized
zero percent of my audience
gave a shit what game I was playing.
They wanted to hear me make fun of retarded shit
on the internet and be a silly man.
You realized you were the Conan O'Brien
of Call of Duty
or like the Jimmy Kimmel or like...
Yeah, like that, or like 10 levels more pathetic
right and not as fat
as Jay Leno
but like you're still
working on it
Jay Leno fat?
he's kind of fat
Jay Leno's a thick fella
Jay Leno head
all I'm saying is that
Twitch is easy to get into way easier than using like your
hawpog hdpbr to use flash media encoder and screen cap to live stream all of those just awful right
way easier the barrier of entry for you to go i want to stream to i am streaming you can
stream on your ps4 or your xbox right but like the the the ability to make it a career or like
a meaningful income source is infinitely way worse i think that it's easy to get involved in all like the amount of artists tangent uh people like all the musicians that i
talk to like they can't play me they can't play shows anymore so like yeah i just want to like
live stream myself playing this set i'm like cool what are you gonna do next week play the same set
the same set again yeah and i'm like i'm like okay what about the next week probably the same set again yeah and i'm like i'm like okay what about the next week probably the same set like why tucker i gotta i gotta thank you you've been a real resource for me when it
comes to twitch because i'll literally just i got your brother talk to her on twitter and be like
can i call people retarded and he's like yeah you can probably do it but like when taylor rated me
i was so happy because i was like these people
aren't gonna mind that i i call shit retarded i could just fucking say it i was so happy because
like people some people will raid me and they have very pg streams and they they raid me while
i'm just like motherfucking piece of shit like retarded ass bitch you know you are not gonna
offend my chat yeah yeah we understand they're retarded. But what race were they?
Taylor army, we're storming beaches.
We're strong.
We're not the biggest army, but we're the strongest, most resilient.
And we say all the words.
I'm like all of the words that Taylor would tell his people to spam. They're all blacked out.
And my entire channel is like user was muted user
was muted i literally tell people as i'm rating people like you talk around like guys please be
well behaved i'm just trying to help my friend talk just be nice over there and they'll be like
fucking f slur retard it is it is like the best it's like uh like me and you are the uh like i'm the dad and you're
like the fun uncle and like sometimes like we're at a wedding and all of a sudden they're like hey
get them away from each other and then we're just like in the in the like fucking house just
pounding beers just yelling being irresponsible and everybody's like jesus christ i i didn't know
dude have you ever
rated my chat all of your viewers would be like what the fuck is happening what's going on
why is everybody so mean yeah anybody anybody that says twitch is like in like a non-accepting
place is just stupid all right twitch is very hands-off they will let you do literally
whatever you want to do just don't be that stupid just be like taylor stupid just be my level of
i accidentally on twitch the other day i was watching uh because we did a bit years or probably
a year ago on the show about bug chasers.
You guys remember that one?
Sure.
Where it was a bunch of – you weren't here for that, Tucker.
It's a bunch of gay guys who like want to get HIV,
and so they're chasing the bug, like bug chasers.
No way.
And so they'll like go to parties and specific things where it's like,
hey, this is a pause load party.
They're trying to catch them all.
Everybody come get paused up.
Catch them all. And so people would do that
and I found a documentary on YouTube
called The Gift
The Gift where it was a bunch of gay guys
trying to get HIV
it's a real thing
it's fucking despicable
we should all die
every human
let turtles or some shit take it over
and i watched
it on my stream and it was like it's on youtube like it's fair use it's fine and it was there was
like a little was it fair use you know you know how fucking documentaries are taylor goes he says
in the comments uh no copyright intended i'm good to play the video. It's on Netflix.
I mean, it was fine.
It was fine.
It's very used.
And I played it.
It was on YouTube.
And we were like 20 minutes into this,
like an hour documentary on Twitch.
And then it was showing some like gay montage
of the community at the time.
And one of the pictures was of a DVD cover of gay porn,
but it was very prominently shown.
And it had a guy sitting back like this with his dick out,
coming all over the face of another man.
And I was reading the chat at the time.
And then I just started seeing a bunch of TOS, TOS, TOS, TOS.
And I was like, what the fuck are you guys talking about?
It's just a YouTube document.
I had to go back and check.
Turns out that guy was
being facialized and I had to
delete that FOD.
We're going strong on my channel.
Twitch
is the least anti...
They're lenient.
Yeah, they're lenient.
If you talk about a gay documentary, I feel like they wouldn't
hit me for it. It's education.
The amount of shit that i have
also watched on my twitch stream and other people have like there is a raging kataku hard on for
for like anti-twitch shit but like i've watched some very suspect stuff and that shit lives on
my channel to this day and i just i feel like people are just trying to get mad
yeah twitch is twitch is great they understand their shit go ahead i was saying chiz i did not
show tits on purpose that was another video that happened to show them it was about it was it was
a gay protest video and then it just so happened they had their tits out.
I'm just saying, dude,
it's a Twitch meme to see somebody fucking Ricardo throwing it back, his American ass.
Yeah.
I like Twitch.
I'm having a ton of fun on Twitch so far.
It's great.
Having the immediate feedback of the audience,
and I like everybody in my streams.
They're cool. they're chill they make
funny ass jokes I love it
Twitch is the only way
for uh Woody wants
to end the topic Twitch is the only
way to
uh enjoy
like a one on one
conversation with somebody that you're
inherently like watching or doing
anything with.
That's good. I like the social aspect of it.
Sorry, Woody.
I wasn't saying it in the top. I think you're looking at
everyone else.
I glanced. That's my fault.
Wrap there?
Let's wrap.
Run it up. Wrap it up.
You guys went over 5 hours right
thank you guys for having me
yeah thanks for coming on Tucker as always
to all our other guests Harley
and Filthy
it was just Harley and Filthy right I'm not missing anybody
I don't think so
Mr. Blame Truth
I already thanked these two gentlemen
I thought you were
I thought you were legit skipping Blame Truth on purpose
and I was playing along.
He went to me first.
I went in first and then talked to him.
I was making sure I didn't forget anyone
because it's been six hours
for us.
Get the screen cap right.
Throw out the salute, Taylor. Throw out the salute Taylor
throw out the salute
no I can't do that
there's something in your eye
I love you guys
PKA488