Painkiller Already - Painkiller Already #492
Episode Date: May 25, 2020In this week's PKA, kingpin, ex-prison inmate & YouTube personality, Shaun Attwood graces us with his AWESOME stories from his time in prison & what he was up to that led him down that path in life, a...fter many jaw-dropping stories Shaun departs after 2 hours and the guys get into the Keemstar vs H3H3 drama that's unfolding in the YouTube scene. This is a killer episode and you're not going to want to miss it!
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pka episode 492 with our guest sean atwood you guys will love kyle couple of sponsors tonight
postmates and the university of colorado we'll get to them later on but yeah should be an
interesting show welcome aboard my friend hey thanks for having me on guys and huge
congratulations on your youtube success thank you oh thank you you, we never get that right off the bat. That's really nice.
It's called English manners.
We need more English guests.
That's what I was thinking when I was looking into your channel about how you went to prison and everything. I was like, ah, this motherfucker with his British accent.
I imagine two days in, they're like, man, you better ask the professor about that.
You get little nicknames and stuff did that actually happen or no but believe me i was playing the harry potter card all the way through it i mean you damn yanks love your goddamn limey cousins
from across the pond i'm gonna be asking me if i had tea and crumpets with the Spice Girls and the Beatles and all this stuff.
That's great.
Sean, can you move your mic a little closer to your mouth?
Yeah, yeah.
So, you went to prison in Arizona when Sheriff Joe Arpaio
had created this house of horrors,
Maricopa County Jail,
which according to National Geographic Channel,
who did my Locked Up Abroad episode,
they said it's got the highest rate of death
out of all the jails and prisons in America.
And 62 people died in that jail over a
five-year period around the time I was there. And they weren't just people getting beat down and
murdered by gang members. Some of them were mentally ill prisoners murdered by the guards.
One guy, Brian Crenshaw, failed to produce his ID for the evening meal. Guards pulverized him,
broke his neck. He went into a coma.
He died over a month
later from severe internal injuries.
Another one, Scott Norberg, he came
in. The guards started beating him,
electrocuting him with tasers.
A female guard
tried to stop it. She said, stop beating him.
His face has turned blue.
They pushed her off. They kept beating him.
The prisoner started yelling, why are you beating him he's already dead his face was blue and jesus christ they could not stop
beating the corpse even though it was like they were like a pack of wolves they've just you know
like the amygdala takes over and they're just ferocious and they can't stop animalistic did
you say this was like during a meal?
Everybody's trying to eat their mac and cheese and there's a dead guy getting beat to shit.
Yeah, you see all kinds of crazy stuff like that.
People having, one woman, Deborah Brayard,
she was a shoplift in a short-term sentence.
Her daughter was calling all morning long saying,
my mom needs her medication, she's a diabetic.
Guards were like, tough shit.
And she started to have seizures. She was pissing on herself, crapping on herself. long saying my mom needs her medication she's a diabetic guards were like tough shit and she
started to have seizures she was pissing on herself crapping on herself and the guards were
just walking right around her like as if nothing was happening jeez so why do you think that is
about the guards do you think that it's a career that attracts sadistic people in part or that they
get so jaded by like you know and this is not I've never been to maximum security
prison, but I did watch Silence
of the Lambs where maybe they just caught one eye
full of cum too much and then they
just stopped caring. Clarice,
tell me now.
This is our
sinister genius and cum
throwing wing.
Did you breastfeed
your baby?
Made your nipples hard, didn't it?
I would
say a combination. You've got
good and bad in every profession.
I'm not knocking all guards.
It does attract
some sadistic types, and
the energy in the environment is
so pervasively negative.
Even the guards who start out fish guards, fresh looks on their faces,
trying to help people.
Within six months, their faces have turned to stone.
It was the same for the prisoners as well.
As soon as I went in, all completely gang controlled.
Heads are getting bashed against toilets.
Bodies getting thrown around.
I've got a look of shock on my face.
Prisoners are coming up to me saying, you've got to got a look of shock on my face. Prisoners
are coming up to me saying, you got to get that look of shock off your face or else you're going
to get smashed next. So within six months, I've got dead eyes. And once I got released,
even on my driver's license picture to this day, my face just looks completely immune.
We're definitely going to circle back around to your drug enterprise days because those are fascinating. But I'm really interested in the hellhole that was your prison and how it became so much worse by accident. Correct me if I'm wrong here, but your bail was something like three quarters of a million dollars initially, right?
Initially, yeah.
quarters of a million dollars initially, right? Initially, yeah. And your family all got together and raised a mortgage to home. And a relative of yours who was a retired policeman came and spoke
on your behalf at a bail hearing to try to get that reduced so that potentially you could get
out and get back on the street again until you await trial, I suppose. And that backfired, right?
The bail was doubled to $1.5 million cash only,
and I was reallocated from medium security to maximum security.
Now, I'd seen the cockroaches here and there,
but I got to my cell in max security at about 2 in the morning.
And there's a bit of light slanting in
from the day room i notice it's only a two-man cell there's two bunks at the back of the wall
go in and i'm wondering why my cell makes me sleep on the top bunk because where i come from people
fight over the bottom bunk thinking somebody's not quite right walking a little bit around in
the cell something drops off the ceiling and bounces off my shoulder.
Like, what was that?
Looking at the walls and the ceiling, there's like a swirl effect.
And I'm thinking, all right, my eyes are playing tricks.
So I put my face right up to the wall,
and it's just absolutely covered in American cockroaches.
Nothing like I'd ever seen before in my life.
So I'm thinking, alright, how's
he asleep up there? He's wrapped
a sheet around him.
So, eight
at night is lockdown. Ten, lights
out. The roaches know
when the lights are about to go out. They start
lining up in the cracks in the wall
in this old building, doing this little
movement with their antennae sticking out,
like an army waiting to invade.
So as soon as the lights go out, they just flood the room.
Got a choice, wrap the sheet around you,
look like the mummy, leave a breathing hole.
It does keep them off you.
But this is the Sonoran Desert.
It's almost 50 degrees UK temperature,
120 US temperature in the summer and there's a
vent at the back of the cell attached to what's called a swamp cooler the only time that air was
blowing was when the county health inspector walked through the building and as soon as he left
it went back to the broken setting and what i mean is we'd ask the guards why it's working and just say oh it's broken so wrap the sheet around me and and I've already got all these bleeding skin infections
and bed sores from the heat and when you wrap that sheet around you you just start sweating so much
and you're itchy your skin has turned soggy because you're sweating every single day you
scratch yourself clumps of your own skin detach under your nails.
So in the end, I just throw the sheet off and let the cockroaches crawl on me.
So you were just slowly decomposing every night.
Yeah, rotting away.
It looked like I spilled battery acid on my leg at one point.
I had this just big infection on my leg.
Because I'm sat on my ass a lot, I'm getting all these bed sores on my butt.
And I put a tank order in,
a medical request to see this doctor.
And he tells me to drop my drawers.
And he's going to check my arse out.
And then he just goes to grab my dick.
And I pull back.
I'm like, whoa, there's nothing wrong with my dick.
Not yet. Sorry, I'm like whoa there's nothing wrong with my dick not yet sorry sorry
I'm just seeing if you can get hard
I'm just seeing if you can come
when I go back to the
medical waiting room every other prisoner said
he tried to grab their dicks as well
but back to the roach story
so the sheet around you
it is way too hot and itchy
so you just throw the sheet off, let them crawl on you.
Now, they don't bite.
They tickle your feet, tickle your legs.
I woke up so many nights from tickling my hands.
I flinch now if someone tickles my hands.
But they get on your face, mouth, nose.
The favorite place of all is going in your ears to eat your earwax.
It's like honey to them literally i i i
had a little piece of towel and i washed my ear i washed the earwax out my ear one time this little
piece of towel and i hung it near the sink and the cockroaches they crawled on the little piece
of towel and they were pulsing right on where the earwax was like honey this is how honey can
feed me brilliant sacrificial towel.
I had a neighbor.
I knew where it came from.
I had a neighbor who was asthmatic, wakes up one morning out of breath,
grabs his inhaler, takes a blast,
shoots a live cockroach inside himself,
starts freaking out, saying he can feel it moving around.
He froze up his stomach content
and somehow it's stuck inside him
and it won't even come out.
Even in the daytime there were so many
prisoners were doing cockroach races
on the day room tables
gambling on who would be the winner.
Now over time you've got to
just harmonise with your environment.
And I was living with the cockroaches in that maximum security
Madison Street jail for about a year.
So in the end, you know, I'm just chilling with them,
watching their habits.
They communicate through these chemical smells.
If you threaten them, then like these warrior ones come running
under your door like, you know, what's up, what's up over here.
Some of them have little pouches of babies.
It looks like a section of a worm.
And if they manage to get that under your bunk,
and I would find them attached to books and stuff,
all the babies hatch and they go absolutely everywhere.
Not the babies.
Yeah, all the little baby cockroaches,
they're just all over the wall, just swirling and swirling and swirling.
There was white ones.
I don't know whether they were albinos or they were shedding their skin.
So people say they would survive a nuclear attack, and I agree.
If you throw them in the toilet, they look like they drowned.
They're like this.
But the little bastards are actually holding oxygen to themselves.
And then I saw people just smash him completely flat.
I'm reading my book.
Look over an hour later, and the fingers reformed.
It's just gone on to have a nice day.
So there was no concern at all.
Obviously, there was no concern.
So the prison themselves were like,
all right, it's fine for every single inmate
to just live in a sea of cockroaches.
And that's just the way they live.
And I'm sure that also made everybody
a little on edge.
Sleep's not great.
And so probably made it more violent,
more shitty,
just a circular pattern there, right?
Absolutely.
The violence was nonstop.
It's all racial gangs. So'm white i go in skinheads from the area brother would come up to me like hey we want
a word with you get in that cell over there you can't say no to these guys they're just going to
smash your head into the wall so going to the cell they close the door behind me so it's almost
closed biggest one gets in my face he's like what are your charges i'm new to this
my charges are on a computer printout legal terminology i don't know what it means so i
give the worst answer in the world i say i don't know what my charges mean now they've got me
against the wall about to attack me what do you mean you don't know what your charges mean are
you a chomo are you a chomo i don't even know what chomo is at this point you've learned fast so that's chalma
lester and that is kos which means kill on sight yeah so in the in the end i pulled out my charge
sheet they saw i was in for drugs they saw i had big charges i had a big bail bond conspiracy
750 000 cash only they were like god, God damn, you guys, the
mafia, who guys were you killing or what?
I was like, no, raves, ecstasy,
we didn't kill anybody.
And then they explain all the rules.
It's like,
if someone calls you a punk,
or a bitch, or hits you,
you have to fight them on the spot, or else the
whole gang will attack you.
You must take showers, or they'll smash you for bad hygiene.
Can't go making friends with the guards, they'll smash you for snitching.
Can't sit at the tables with the racists, they'll smash you for that.
So they're constantly looking for people to beat up
because that's how they earn their reputations and tattoos.
To rise up in the gang, you've got to commit increasing acts of violence to be fully patched
into the AB
you've got to kill someone for them in the jail
so there's four gangs
the white gang is the AB, they're in Brotherhood
then you've got the Mau Mau
is the black gang
then you've got the Chicanos
then you've got the Paisas
you've got the Pisces, you've got the old Mexican mafia.
So it's just constant gang warfare in there,
and it's all about the drugs.
The absolute priority of the gang is getting the drugs in.
Approximately 90% of the prisoners were injecting heroin,
injecting crystal meth.
The whole day just revolved around getting the drugs in,
and that's why these jails now created the ideal target market for gang members
to sell drugs to because they can't get out of jail.
And they've even got the guards bringing the drugs in for them to sell to them.
And most of these people were arrested for crimes related to drugs.
Young people came in back then.
The biggest arrest category was weed possession.
And then they leave addicted to heroin.
They've got neo-Nazi tattoos.
They've made their criminal connections in prison.
They've got a criminal record.
They can't get a job.
And by the time they get out,
they're converted into full-on criminals.
Everybody I saw who got released just came right back.
It's really sad.
But that's how the prisons stay in business.
It's $50,000 a year of taxpayers' money per prisoner as soon as they come back.
I'd written down, does that cruelty prevent repeat offenders?
I wanted the answer to that, you know, because it would make me not want to go back again.
But I guess I just got it.
It makes me not want to go.
Right?
But it sounds like it creates better criminals or bigger criminals.
Absolutely.
I mean, yeah, there's the deterrent factor, but Arizona prides itself on that.
It says we've got the toughest prisons.
If you look at FBI stats, Arizona's got some of the highest reoffending in the whole of the country.
So it's to do with the war on drugs. If you mass incarcerate low
level drug users, which is what most prisoners are, in the TV you see prisoners are like Pablo
Escobar, Hannibal Lecter. That's all the media reports is extreme crimes on one side and how
easy they got it on the other. They got Playstations, they got gourmet food, they got luxuries.
And this is how the media tricks the public into hating on prisoners.
But when you get in there,
the average arrest I saw was a black kid
or a Mexican kid with a little bit of weed
getting like a two to five year sentence.
I had a cellmate who got caught with a roach.
He got a 18 month sentence.
I was there when a Vietnam vet got sentenced.
A black guy had been shot in the head by a sniper.
He'd won Purple heart medal for bravery
prosecutor said he's unemployed he's got a nice new car there was some crumbs of cocaine on the
car he must be a dealer and judge was like bam sent him away for almost 10 years like that
so it's a prison industrial complex that preys on the poorest sections of society
one cop said i just go into a black neighborhood
and make my arrest quota.
It's like shooting fish in a barrel.
I want to circle all the way back around
to that bail hearing
because that had to be one of those moments
where you're just on the cusp of victory
and victory is snatched away
and you fall into the jaws of defeat
because you were in minimum security,
which wasn't fun,
but not the worst scenario ever.
I was in medium, medium.
Oh, medium, I'm sorry.
And then because of the way that bail hearing went down
and then doubling your bail essentially
because you went over a $1 million bail,
you're automatically upgraded to maximum security.
And that's when you got
sent to the Roach Motel. Yeah. And I've been in Towers Jail for a year. I know all the slang.
I know the prison walk. So the next day when I woke up in max security, I've got to go to the
white table now, the woods. And they're going to determine now whether they're going to accept me or they're going
to smash me. This is max security.
They're nearly all in there for murder.
There was a few crystal meth chemists.
So I walk up to the
table, you know, doing the prison walk with
all the slang. Like, what up,
woods? What up, woods?
Where did you roll in from,
woods?
Ahoy, hoy.
Tower's jail. They What did you roll in from? What? Ahoy, hoy. Towers Jail.
They made my bail bond over a million.
So I got reclassed to max.
They're like, what are you in for?
What?
Ecstasy.
So they're asking me all these questions.
And I'm thinking, you know, I'm fitting in with these guys.
They're going to accept me.
Then I go back to my room and hours later the head of the gang comes down with all of his legal paperwork and he says I want you to read this for me and tell you if this plea bargain they're
offering me is is reasonable so they saw through my act and saw I was an educated person and I was a resource to them.
That's really funny.
They could tell I knew how to read, so now I'm the professor.
A third of the prisoners could not read or write.
In max security, I set up a class for the Mexicans,
teaching them how to write home in Spanish
because a lot of them worked out in the countryside, and
they couldn't read and write.
Then the Urian Brotherhood put a green light to have
me smashed for helping another race.
I had an independent tough guy who
was my cellmate at the time, Joe,
and he intervened with the gang, and they allowed
me to keep helping the Mexicans.
Sean, can you move your mic closer?
Jesus Christ.
Yeah, yeah.
That sounds awful
That sounds fucking horrible
But something I want to like
So you got there
The Aryans approach you in your cell
And then kind of how does that relationship
Go from there
Like you said there's no turning them down
You have to kind of play the game
Were there ever times where it was like
Hey you just earned your first swastika tattoo.
Come on in. And you're like, no, actually guys get like,
you know, they also used an eagle.
Let's do a real generic eagle.
You know, like,
can you make it look like the Philadelphia Eagles?
I saw one skinhead.
He had a tattoo
of Hitler on his chest.
No subtlety.
Zeke
highling over
a gas chamber with Jewish people
dying inside the gas chamber.
Yeah.
Here's what helped me out.
Here's what helped me out.
Sean, can you move your mic a lot closer?
Yeah, is it going to go over the screen now?
Is that okay? okay oh so much
better my god yeah yeah all right so yeah over over a hundred people rested with me including
some of my bouncers from the raves i was throwing including my best friend from my hometown who is
a massive guy he co-interviews people with me on my YouTube channel called Wildman. He's like the UK Joey Diaz.
Oh, I've seen that guy, yes.
He is the UK Joey Diaz.
His fists are
twice the size of mine and they're just all
human teeth marks
all over them. He's a good guy to get arrested
with. So once the AB
guys in Towers Jail
found out I was with Wildman
and that we were one of the biggest crews in the jail
we had
a coexistence with them
and none of our clique
got smashed
in that
first year
that was when we were all together
what was your relation to the guy with the Hitler
tattoo was he just like oh no
that's Alan.
I think there's some other guy who's like,
even Alan goes a little far for us.
I mean, Hitler goes a perfectly fine signet for us to use,
and he goes through the whole portrait thing.
A lot of us are on board with that. I don't think we're all like...
Let's put it this way.
When the head of the whites got moved out of our building and there was a
white boy meeting and we had to vote on the new head of the whites i didn't vote for that skinhead
i vote for marco who was out of the italian mafia the italian mafia took over from the
erin brotherhood in that pod and it was the best we ever had it like these guys were running the
show outside the jail at
night when we're all locked down when we're all supposed to be asleep marco was outside the jail
with the guards smoking and giving them orders whenever we got raided whenever we got raided
at the guy he would find out in advance and anything the guards took all our bedding and
everything would get all fresh stuff from other guards would bring it right back to us he had a legal visit from his girlfriend in legal
visits the cards can't watch so his girlfriend would come in as a legal
visitor and give him blowjobs in the legal visitation room and there was like
the least violence ever under Marco's rule I wrote a whole chapter about it in
hard time it was the best of the time in Tower
Shale was when the Italian mafia were
running the show. But the good times never
last.
The meshing between the
Italians and the Aryans. What was that
like? An alliance because they're
both white or
their own interests? I'm sure they had their own drug
interests and stuff, right? There was an
uneasy coexistence that culminated into a full-scale semi-riot at one point,
which ended up with us all getting moved.
So the Italians, you know, when people have got it good like that and they're running things,
other people get jealous because people have got nothing in prison.
So the woods were getting jealous of, you know, how smoothly they were running things and all the perks they were getting.
And they were always scheming and they always had the greater numbers. We had more numbers
temporarily, but in the end, Marco got moved. He got sentenced. His next in line took over.
He was a Golden Gloves boxer and he had a lot of fights in a row and he always won.
And then he fought a rule 11 inmate
called buster beats now that means a mentally ill person rule 11 there was this foul meal that
nobody would eat called red death and this guy would just put it in plastic bags and eat it all
day long and he was my cellmate briefly as well he um he like took the legs off crickets and mosquitoes and beat them with little rolled up pieces of toilet paper.
I didn't know where I was going.
It was sort of a Pickle Rick type scenario.
But he would just pull the legs off until it's a torso
and then he would beat them with a rolled up...
Yeah, and say, good mosquito, you're not going to leave me now.
Things like this.
He had this rap called
Dead Body Hose about
having sex with the corpses
of Britney Spears and Christina Aguilera
and all this stuff, and the prisoners would always make him do it.
Anyway, the Golden Gloves
boxer, Nick, he ended up in a
fight with Busta Beats.
Busta Beats, these Rule 11 guys,
they've got this crazy strength.
He kept
like, Marco,
I mean, the Golden Gloves guy, Nick, just
kept beating the shit out of Buster Beats
and he'd say like, I give up, I give up.
He'd go to leave the cell.
Buster Beats would like jump back
up bounce off the wall like spider-man jump on my own
for about 20 minutes 30 minutes and nick's like just punch he's gonna go against the wall just
punch punch punch punch i think he's gonna kill this guy and nick um his his hand, he broke his knuckle. His hand swole up like the size of a grapefruit.
Pieces of teeth of both of them had come off.
And after that, Nick said, look, I'm sick of being the head of the whites.
You know, he was fighting all the time.
He was disillusioned from being the retarded man.
I don't even know what this is all about anymore. The sad thing was um my people on the outside and nick's people on the outside
we were trying to help him we were trying to locate his um step parents to try and get him
some assistance oh yeah they want him back he starts a different gang and he's like
He starts a different gang and he's like,
I know you're not a chomo, but are you a chromo?
And then they start scaling up his own Rule 11 gang. So I assume that Buster was not invited to any of the gangs.
They're like, I know you're white, Buster, but you can't play with us.
He was Chicano.
Oh, Chicano, okay.
Yeah, yeah.
Oh my God.
That sounds kind of funny. as awful as all of this sounds
I think the worst thing I heard you talk about the roaches sound horrific and like I think the
roaches would severely damage my mental health over the course of days and weeks yeah and months
but the spider situation could you could you speak on that a little bit so you would just wake up with pinpricks on your skin it would get you in the night because it
would come out looking for food you rolled around in your sleep and you touch it then in the
following days the pus would start to come out and the skin would like melt away and the venom would eat into your flesh down to the bone on
some occasions and cause what's called a volcano lesion now we take these guys to the guards
and the guards would always say the same thing in the early stages at least it's the policy of the
jail not to treat insect bites you put yourself in here you deal with it so this chicano gang member
who was facing like hundreds of years he'd been in a drive-by shooting he shot a bunch of teenagers
he was a teenager when this has happened and um one bullet had gone through a girl and come out
and blew a nipple off and it was headline news every night whether these people in critical injury were going to die
because he was going to get the death penalty then.
So he got bit on his back.
I mean, this guy was like 300 plus pounds.
And he would roll around in his sleep on this little bunk.
Obviously, his body would go against the wall.
And that's how he got the spider bite.
So we're showing it to the guards every day
because it's like a baseball of yellow pus plasma
is like building up in his back.
And the guards are like,
it's the policy of the jail not to treat insect bites.
You put yourself in there.
It's an arachnid, sir, an arachnid.
So we did try to deal with it.
We got a load of guys in the day room, big guys.
And we got his arms on either side and held him steady.
There was a Russian guy,
Bill in the military.
And he said he knew how to dress wounds.
So he was our designated doctor.
I was holding a roll of toilet paper and the Russian just comes up behind him
and starts massaging this wound.
All this pus is running down his back and i'm helping mop it
up with the toilet paper now this is going on for about 10 20 minutes big guy's almost fainting
sweat dripping off his ears his chin he starts dragging everybody across the day room we need
more guys to hold him people were jumping on when all of the pus was finally out, what we did, Vim,
was what the Russians
said was the best thing to stop the bacteria.
Put salt on the wound
to stop the bacteria. A little lemon juice, maybe?
When I got moved over to
Mac Security,
I started a little competition called
Suffer of the Week. Whoever had it the worst,
the prisoners who had commissary
would put in like a Snickers bar or some peanut butter.
And whoever had it worst that week would win.
So there was one guy, he got bitten on his thumb by the spider.
So every day he's showing it to the guards,
and the guards are like, you know, tough shit, you got nothing coming.
And in the beginning, it was just a pus coming out, it was red.
Then it went purple.
Then it went blue. Then it went blue.
Then mold started to grow on it, and it turned black.
And they finally took him to see a doctor,
and they had to cut it off before it impacted his whole body.
And, of course, we awarded him Suffer of the Week,
and he says it was worth losing his fun for just to get the extra food.
But he got a Snickers bar, so
it was kind of a win.
Someone help me unwrap it,
though, for real?
It's kind of like Maximum Security Prison
meets free parking from Monopoly.
You get a little bit of money.
Yeah, that's the brown recluse spider that does that
and i've never seen one i think that's that's kind of part of their their their uh mo is is that you
don't see them very often they're they're very small spiders the worst story i heard is about
the guy who sat on a toilet seat and there was one under the rim and it bit him on the head of his dick
and his dick rotted off
because he was embarrassed to go to a doctor
and say, look at my penis, it's been bitten
by something. He just thought,
it'll get better, but
those bites really don't get better. They get
much, much worse before they get any better.
I tell the doctor immediately.
Every time you get bit in the penis?
Every single time.
These stories so far are mild compared to my dick, balls,
and gang rape and beheading stories.
Yes, and I've got all that written down.
So this is all that I've written down to address.
So you mentioned it and we moved past it real quickly,
but I was curious.
So you said, and it was on one of your videos,
what do you do if some powerful guy the the hitler you know portrait guy
green lights you to get your shit pushed in and beat the fuck up if that gets green lit is there
any way to go to that guy and be like hey i'm so sorry let me give you some snickers or is it like
no once that's okayed you're fucked he can't go back on it or
he'll look weak or complacent like how's that pan out prison rape is so common there's a rape class
now that you have to attend on the prea prison rape elimination act yep it's it's mandatory
a rape class what did you learn anything are you better at raping now than before
Did you learn anything? Are you better at raping now than before?
There's a joking on the way to the rape class. I went to the rape class myself.
So you watch a video and there's some guys in the day room, some predators.
The young prisoners coming in are hungry.
If they take food, they're in debt.
And once they got you in debt, they got you.
They say, look, you've got to pay this debt or else we're going to kill you.
Well, I got no money. Well, you're going to go in that cell over
there, do whatever he says, and that will pay your debt off. And if you are weak-minded enough
to do that, there's no turning back. That's called getting turned out, becoming a prison punk.
They rent you out as a prison prostitute and you're ruined ruined the lowest level in the prison is uh punks
snitches and chomos so the conclusion of the rape class was to stop rape you have to report it
if you report anything you're a snitch so after we went to the rape class a young mentally ill
prisoner was gang raped and nobody reported a single thing oh no like he gets raped in the
rape class after the class right after yeah so that was just like an f you to the guards
now the story of xena who was a transgender prisoner six and a half foot charismatic
transgender prisoner she seemed happy um living with her
boyfriend when i met her in prison he was protecting her but decades before when she
first came in um she was big weight weight lifting clicked up with the aryan brotherhood gang as a
debt collector it's blood in blood out these gangs use people up and they brutalize them
so i asked zina what happened she said the first time was a
gang rape they beat me until I was unconscious raped me while I was unconscious and shoved
things inside my body I said well what did they shove inside your body a broomstick I said well
how did you know they were raping you if you were unconscious she said when I went to the toilet
afterwards I could tell by what came out i said well what did
you do after being raped i sat in my cell waiting for the scars to go i got moved to another yard
but the same thing happened they beat me up raped me used me as a sex toy a prostitute a punk
there's no recourse no one to talk to you can't go to the guards they'll throw you in a dungeon
for months or years and say it's for your
own protection.
You can do absolutely nothing other than kill the perpetrators.
The victim is labeled a rat,
a punk and considered less than human.
I said,
did you think about killing the people who did this?
Yes,
I did.
I also thought about killing myself and I still do sometimes.
And then Xena started crying.
She couldn't answer any more questions,
but she came back because we were writing a blog to raise awareness of prison rape and when she came back she I said does this mostly happen to youngsters yes it does but can happen to
anyone big bad dudes skinny ugly people who aren't street smart who don't understand the mentality
of ghetto life they get picked on the most. I said,
well, how did you stop it? I took the abuse for as long as I could and started fighting.
I won most of the fights. When I stood up and told them I didn't care about living or dying,
it stopped. You've got to be ruthless. Now that is understatement. Zina hadn't told me the truth
as to how she stopped this gang raping business because she didn't want to risk getting in trouble for what she'd done. Xena was studying anatomy and
the next two times the gang members came to rape Xena, the first member of the gang to put his
hand on Xena, Xena plucked his eyeball out. So it was dangling from the optic nerve and that's what i thought when i first heard that
story holy shit is that even is that even possible so i had a workout partner called
iron man in prison and he told me to join a dojo to join a dojo when i got out so i did karate for
almost 10 years and they teach us in karate it's called bird beak strike you just go bam into the eyeball like that and it comes out on the
optic nerve now xena did that twice two separate occasions that's what i'm laughing at by the way
they came back i had to rape her again and she did it again so what's so funny is that she plucked
an eye out and they still came back. Yeah. So they classified her as extremely dangerous because that eyeball,
when you put it back in,
it just doesn't go back in snugly and behave normally.
The fluid coating the brain can leak through the socket and you can die.
You can be blinded.
It can really mess your visual apparatus up, let's say.
I'm confused.
So Xena was a woman and men were raping her?
Why were they together?
I missed something.
Okay, so Xena was a trans prisoner, six and a half foot.
When she first came in, decades before she'd met me,
she was big and weightlifting,
and she was a debt collector for the Urian Brotherhood.
Now, when I met her, she was tall, skinny.
She was making melting plastic and making sex toys.
She had her own beaded G-string.
She's cool.
What she did was they tried to get estrogen smuggled in,
and they tried to stop the other chemicals.
So Xena wakes up one morning, grabs a felt-tip pen,
draws lines on her scrotum
yeah drinks a cup of coffee and without any painkiller at all she's got the razor blade
and she cuts the scrotum open now the testicles are on branches called the vas devorans so she
goes into one side of the scrotum cut cuts through the spermatic cord and the grizzle,
and she manages to cut one side off.
Now, the other side must have known what was about to happen.
Because it hid, it retracted, it retracted.
So now she's got her hand in her scrotum, up in her gut,
searching for this other testicle.
This is horrible.
I love this.
This red hot pain is hitting her now from cutting the first one off.
Where she's got it tied off to stop the blood comes undone,
and the blood starts spraying across the cell.
She's now bleeding to death and losing consciousness but she believes she's got to get this other one off it's a one-shot deal
she said she could feel squishy things like organs while she's scrambling around to find this thing
but in the end she didn't find it and the prison was informed. Somebody saw this,
and they managed to get a helicopter to the prison
just in time to get to hospital to save a life.
Now, Xena was put on suicide watch for a year,
and when she got off suicide watch,
she cut the other testicle off.
Jesus Christ.
So just when that testicle thought it was safe
to sleep back down into the stack
this is the most hardcore individual i've ever heard of like like
it's so comical to me that she plucked out a rapist's eyeball with her bare hand
and then the next week or let's month or whatever, sometime period passed. And that same group of rapists got together and said,
you know what we should do?
We should go rape the eyeball plucking chick.
We should go rape.
Wait,
wait,
why are they calling the eyeball?
Well,
they pointed Dan and he's got a fucking eye patch on it.
He's like,
I don't know guys.
It's even a good idea.
I'm not going in first.
I'll say that for damn sure.
Only once.
Shame on you.
The second guy's like,
oh, God, I deserve this.
I knew what was coming.
I saw her sharpening her nails.
I saw her practice on round body parts
with her own nuts.
Let me tell you what happened next then.
All right, so rape attempt one,
eyeball comes out.
Rape attempt two, eyeball comes out. Rape attempt two, eyeball comes out.
Is she big and strong during the eye-plucking,
or is she the leader?
She was collecting debts for the Aryan brotherhood.
Six and a half.
So eyeball comes out.
Two separate occasions, eyeball comes out.
They classify Xena as extremely dangerous,
and they move on to some of her friends.
Now, one friend is gang raped,
they shove a light bulb in his backside and they make bets on who could smash it first and that
prisoner committed suicide afterwards. Another one is gang raped, they get a shovel from the work
crew, they hold him down, cut his head off and when his head is finally off they put it on display in a part of the prison
to show the gangs they're the most violent and ruthless out of all the gangs in which
gang did that one in brotherhood okay jesus right that is really intense
like it's the first two examples were just horrific but then it escalated so far when
we got to a beheading that it's just like where do you go from here sean i thought about this a lot
what's the strategy for a non-tough guy in prison right like you you're not six foot six debt
collector how do you thrive in this environment?
Make sure you get arrested with wild men and over a hundred people
who are your bouncers from the rave scene.
Because if I'd have gone in there on my own,
I'm not a big tough guy.
I'm just a nerdy business graduate.
It's raw survival of the fittest.
I would have been annihilated by those gang members.
But once they saw there was a pack of us,
you know, they're like everyone who's coming into the jail.
It's like animalistic.
And they're looking for the weakest in the herd to slaughter.
So, you know, if you're in there with your bouncers and you're clicking up with the Italian mafia,
a wild man was behaving like a maniac in there, you know, and showing people how crazy and dangerous he was people are not are not going
to go towards that they're going to go towards less dangerous situations to threaten people and
bully people and try and extort people and get money and commissary out of them now my co-defendants
were only around me for the first year because the prosecutor wanted me and wildman to be separate
she wanted me to be separate from my co-defendants.
By doubling my bail, she got me away from them.
So I didn't know anybody in MAC security.
She said that we were influencing the co-defendants not to break down and snitch.
Sammy the Bull, who was my competitor,
57 people got arrested with him.
They all agreed to cooperate.
In my case, over 100 got arrested
and only four agreed to cooperate.
Everybody hung tight. And that's because we were so close-knit so the prosecutor was concerned that i was influencing
the co-defendants so i got moved up up to higher and higher security levels away from them
can you age out of the game like like at some point you must be able to if you're 79 years old
they don't expect you to be an enforcer of any kind, right?
There's guys in there who've earned their stripes. There was a guy who saved my life
at one point called Two Tonys. He was a multiple homicide murderer. He was doing 141 years. He'd
left the dead bodies of rival gangsters from Arizona to Alaska. He worked for the Bonanno
crime family under Joe Bonanno Sr. He was the longest running head of the Mafia Council who never got
whacked. He ended up living in the same neighborhood as me, Sin Vacas in the Catalina Mountains in
Tucson, Arizona, most beautiful place I've ever lived in my life. And two Tonys, he took me under
his wing. I had a situation when I got moved over to a prison where I didn't know anybody.
situation when I got moved over to a prison where I didn't know anybody and two Tonys found out and helped me out so I get to this new cell don't know anybody my cellmate is a serial home invader
torturer he's breaking into people's houses mostly drug dealers tying up with duct tape and taking
ball peen hammers to their kneecaps that That was his favorite method of torture. So I show up in his cell, and he says to me,
you know, I put my property down on my bunk,
and he had some artwork up there.
And he's like, you need to be more aware of your fucking surroundings.
And, you know, he starts threatening me, saying,
I could smash your brains in while you sleep.
I've got a padlock in a sock.
And he didn't like me from the get-go.
He was an old con.
He just wanted to run his illegal tattoo shop
and do his heroin and everything in there.
He didn't want me in there.
So he schemed to get rid of me.
Now, he had a mate, a big guy, 20 plus stone,
which is 240 pounds.
And they timed
it, prison is like high school mentality
with deadly consequences
they knew my parents were flying 5000 miles
to visit me for Christmas
so they timed it, the attack, this big guy
attacked me just as I'm walking down this corridor
to visit my parents
so he sneaks up behind me, he's like bam
bam, chicken shit move, didn't get
in my face, comes up behind me, kidney punching. And, um, you know, I wasn't, I'm not skilled in the
arts of fighting at that point. So I turn around, start throwing some kicks and punches. You've got
no choice. The prison's looking at you. If you don't hit back, you're a punk. Everyone's got to
pray on you. I've thrown some kicks and punches and I end up getting beat down on the floor.
Didn't work out well for me.
Fortunately, a staff member came and it ended.
My mom sees me at visitation.
I'm all injured.
She asked what's wrong.
I can't say, you know, she's already had a nervous breakdown on my situation.
I did manage to get moved out of that cell.
And my new cellmate, Long Island, he come from a prison where his neighbor said to him
look i did business with this guy on the street called english sean he's a good dude
if you run into him look out for him now bear in mind there's 60 000 people in the arizona
department of corrections at that time so it's weird how people came out the blue to help me
people came out the blue to harm me so long island goes look i've got a friend two tony's
you want to play a game of chess with him he knew if two tony's like me he would take me under his
wing he didn't tell me that he was a bit more slick i said yeah you know fine what's he in for
oh he's all-school mafia multiple homicide murder 141 years like whoa hold on a minute you want me
to play chess because this guy guy, if I win,
I might be next on his list.
You know,
he just goes and gets him
and he comes down the stairs
like Uncle Junior.
He's already served 20,
he's already served 20 plus years.
I was stood in the day room
over the chessboard,
nervous,
sweating.
He sees that,
he puts me at ease
in a fake British accent.
He's like,
if you have bloody tea and crumpets
with the Beatles
and, you know, joking around, clowning around. I beat him at chess. And at the end of
the game, he says, look, how come you beat me so fast? I said, you kept speaking your mind all
through the game. You wouldn't show someone your hand in a game of cards, would you? And he slaps
his head. He goes, oh, me and my big mouth. I didn't know it. He was testing me. He said, look, Sean, to stay alive on the road of life,
I've had to become a quick judge of character.
I like you.
I think you're an honest guy.
Would you be willing to write my life story?
I said, yeah, I would be honored.
So I wasn't supposed to be going in his cell,
but he had prisoners outside watching for guards.
For months on end, I'm going in his cell.
He's telling me his life story.
Absolutely fascinating stuff.
So the lieutenant in the Bonanno crime family,
who Two Tonys came up under, was Charlie Bat Bataglia,
who'd whacked people from coast to coast, got away with it,
and was an expert in getting rid of the bodies.
So Two Tonys is telling me all these techniques about disposing of corpses.
For example, you get a hole dug really deep get the corpse in there put some dirt over it and then put a dead
animal you know a few feet above it so if the cadaver dogs come out they hit on the animal
then they stop digging but the way the banana crime family solved that was they had double
decker coffins so they'd have a genuine person whose funeral
it was, someone they'd whacked
would also go in the double decker
coffin and they'd either get buried
or you know
that's how they got rid of the corpses
so yeah I wrote his
I wrote Tutoni's book
it's called The Mafia Philosopher
Tutoni's but sadly he died in 2010 from
his liver cancer from his own drug taking as a lot of people do in prison because hepatitis c is just absolutely rife a lot
of the guys are sharing dirty needles and stuff like that so two tonies there was a situation with
a shot caller whereby i written about prisoners were buying items from the inmate store and they were making their own syringes out
of these items and i put that online and then the shot caller said you know that's tantamount just
to putting our secrets out there put out a green light to have me smashed or killed and like for
two or three days the whole yard was in uproar because the fellas were liking me i was doing
this blog called john's jailail Journal my writing was going online
my parents would type it up, my aunt would type it up
put it online from my letters
that I was sending home
and the prisoners were getting followings
people were sending them letters
and pen pals
and books, we were filling the whole library
up with books, we had like a real Shawshank Redemption
moment where like 54 books came in
one week.
So half the yard was supporting me,
saying I was doing a good thing.
And half the yard were like trying to attack me.
Anyway, two Tony's called in a favor.
And after two or three days of craziness,
people trying to get in my cell,
other people protecting me.
After two or three days of craziness,
it all just died down.
So potentially could have saved my life. But that's what it's like. And anything could could happen at any moment you mentioned you got into a fight and it didn't go well is it okay to lose like is there an honor absolutely
the honor is not walking away the honor is showing heart so when you go into prison
into jail in remand the first thing they want to know anywhere your charges that's a
charge check and they'll also do what's called a heart check so they'll send someone to you and
they'll probe you find out about you and then that person might like try to intimidate and bully you
just to see how far they can go with it to see if you're a weakie or if you're showing heart huh so what's what's the correct i imagine
that's a tightrope right like if one of let's say you weren't on two tony's good side and he sends
some you know big italian lug into your your cell how do you walk that line of you know not being
outright aggressive towards him when he starts threatening you but also not looking like a bitch
because i'm sure you go too hard at him he'll be like yeah this guy's a
fucking problem let's let's whack him or whatever the hell would be so when i was living with the
serial home invader torturer who got his friends to attack me when it before his friend attacked me
i sensed that that was brewing and they would come in the cell and talk shit to me.
And I thought it was going to go off in the cell.
And I'm thinking in my head now, you know, if these guys are just going to punk me, that's it. It's over for me.
The rest of my life in prison, I am just screwed.
So I had like my pens right next to me and I was just going to go stick a pen in one of their eyeballs.
I would just have to make it.
I would have to have had to have made an example.
Otherwise, I would have been raped, attacked, extorted, everything.
It's that tense all the time.
I could barely even sleep.
I'm not a violent person.
I'm thinking there's three guys in here, big guys.
They could just fucking take me down and rape me or anything.
If I stick a pen in one of their the eyeballs if they try to rape me i'm
just going to straight shit in my hand and fucking just rub it all over them rub it in their faces
this these are the levels of dimension demented behavior that these environments force you
to think about what you're gonna have to do because you have to retaliate full-on
if they do something to you otherwise Otherwise, you're a punk.
My next question.
Is it okay to win, right?
Let's say you're in a fight with some guy and you win one out of ten tries, right? You know your odds and you think you've got a 10% chance of winning, but it's your lucky day.
Now what?
You know the score.
That guy knows the score.
Does he get rematches until you're properly punished for winning a fight?
Is it okay
to win it depends on the level of the beef so most beefs are squashed with a one-on-one fight
the gangs do not want people jumping in on either side whether it's within a race or outside of a
race got a bunch of whites jumping in a bunch of blacks jumping in you got a race riot jail gets
locked down no one comes out of the cells for three days plus the drug business stops the absolute priority is to
keep the drug business running at all times if two prisoners have got a beef then they the leaders of
the gangs will say right that cell under the stairs you guys go in there and squash the beef
and you'll see it happen you know you can watch it from around the day room and
stuff these guys will fight it out and at the end they're having a hug and having a smoke together
now there are beefs that can escalate into life and death stuff there's feuds on the streets that
carry over into prison and there's guys that will just go and pick up a shank and come back and try
and kill you so you've got to be very worried that you know
who you're dealing with and as long as it's at that low level harmony is restored after the beef
is squashed that when they take two people in the cell under the stairs and say work it out
do they ever talk it out like i didn't say chomo i said chromo i thought you had down syndrome and
they all laugh it off and move on do they ever talk
It out you know what to Tony
Said he has used humor
To diffuse many of potentially
Violent situation but
Talking out is more on the female
Side and the men's side
It's they're faster than this you
See a guy he'll be walking down the corridor
He'll look at a guy guy say what are you
Looking at he'll say nothing you a corridor, he'll look at a guy, guy will say, what are you looking at? He'll say nothing.
You calling me nothing.
Bam, bam, bam, it's on just like that.
It's like a powder keg of stress,
especially for the guys who are unsentenced.
Being unsentenced is more stressful
because you don't know what's going to happen to you
and you're looking to take that stress out on somebody.
I asked you what the strategy was, right?
For a guy who's not, you know, Herculean.
It sounds like losing is it. Like if I go in there, right? For a guy who's not, you know, Herculean. It sounds like losing is it.
Like if I go in there, I can't beat up these guys.
Just go in, show heart.
I hope they accept that.
The toughest guys have the highest mortality.
Look at Nick.
You know, he was proud of winning all these fights.
The more fights you win, the more challenges you get.
Everybody wants to make their name off the toughest guy in the building so eventually you're gonna come a cropper my my strategy was i've done prison survival advice videos and one of them is titled make alliances with the right people i had wild
man going in i had two tonys later on okay why did that guy torture you mentioned it was mostly drug dealers but it wasn't all drug
it sounded like he had a method or like a motive oh he loved it he loved it so he was
i guess everyone needs a hobby okay he was going to court one day and he was in a holding cell
and there was a suspected chomo so he held a kangaroo court with him as
the judge and it was
decided to stab the chomo, tie him
up and stab him, which he did
and then he put a knife
into the
eyeball of the chomo, he didn't
gouge his eye out, he just put it to the eyeball of the chomo
like he was going to take the eyeball out
and he told everybody in there
if any of you snitch on what I've done I will find you or someone in the prison system will find you, will to take the eyeball out. And he told everybody in there, if any of you snitch on what I've done,
I will find you or someone in the prison system will find you.
We'll fucking take your eyeballs out.
We'll fucking eat them.
Jesus.
So that was just kind of his.
Some people like to read.
Some people like TV shows.
Some people like exercise.
And he liked breaking people's knees with ball-peen hammers
and threatening to gouge your eye out.
Oh, yeah.
And the day he got arrested, it was headline news.
They had a tank on the street, and they had helicopters over the house.
And in the end, it looked like he was going to go down in a shootout.
But in the end, one of his female friends came forward and helped the negotiator get him out.
He was full-on hardcore.
Where the different gangs like like you said
like it's all about business at the end of the day they want to keep making their money they
want to keep getting their drugs but was there almost like a hierarchy like among the non-gang
related prisoners where it's like oh okay thank goodness the uh the the italians took power from
the aryans you know they all suck but at least the Aryans, you know, they were way more brutal, or, oh, the Hispanic
gang's in charge right now, I really hope that
the black or whatever gang
takes power because they're being so brutal,
or was it all, like, mutually assured
destruction, the Hispanics cut a guy's head off,
and so then the Italians and the Aryans do it,
and then the blacks have to show they have to do it too, like,
just constantly one-upping each other,
or what was that dynamic?
Okay, the reason that everybody's prison stories are different, and some people will call other
people out and say, it's not like that. That rule isn't right. People don't behave like that.
Well, the reason that everybody's prison stories are different is because every prison yard has
different prisoners, different guards. There's different rules depending upon who the leader is
for example i was in one building where every night there was like a fellatio show there was
a white guy getting a blow job from a trans prison in the building opposite and we'd all watch it and
just they do this like running commentary of jokes it's a funny thing but when that head of the
whites got moved out of the building and a new head of the whites came in they sent word to the opposite building saying that that white guy getting the
blow job was going to get attacked the very next day unless it stopped immediately so it depends
upon the characters who are in charge and that's constantly changing that makes sense so i watch
another youtuber what's wes's last name is it watson
watson that's watson yeah yeah and um he takes a lot of pride in the fact that he was a shot caller
he was in charge but hypothetical woody doesn't want to be a shot caller that's a lot of attention
and i don't think shot callers have a really great track record of of of an easy time right at some point someone is it good to be the shot caller
it seems like a bad strategy if you're a big tough guy and you can handle yourself there are perks
and respect to wes watson he's blown up on youtube he's doing really good my co-defendant wildman
loves watching his videos every time i go to his house he's got a wes watson video on i think
they're going to end up doing a skype i'm training Wildman right now in Skypes. He's not quite there yet.
So Wildman arrives at a prison. He's just been sentenced and they come up to him and they say,
what are your charges? And he says, I've had a long day. I'm going to sleep. And they're saying,
no, you don't understand who we are. You need to tell us
what your charges are. So he knocks the
guy out and he goes to sleep.
I'm going to go with
assault.
They say to him, you shouldn't have done
that. We're going to find out who you are.
And Wildman's like,
okay, find out who I am.
As he's asleep
he wakes up and they come back
and they say to him
we know who you are now
do you want the guy's job
who you knocked out
we need you to apologise
to him but we're going to give you his job
and Wildman
he's done lots of videos on my channel.
There's a Wildman playlist about him running the building.
He's got to keep the whites, the youngsters, under control.
And he's running like he's making hooch.
He's controlling the gambling.
And there are a lot of perks in prison to doing that stuff
if you've got no money whatsoever.
Everybody's got to get the hustle on one way or another.
So Wes Watson, if that was his hustle so be it wow well i mean at least there's a lot
of upward mobility for careers piece of shit out of that guy and it's like you know what wait
was there like an offer of pay or like hey we'll give you drugs to do i assume like most of the
payment was like you get your heroin or you get your coke or whatever.
So if one man is manufacturing hooch,
he gets to keep a percentage of the hooch.
If he's running the gambling tables,
he gets to keep a percentage of the take.
Now, what if your charges aren't that good, right?
Like you're not a chomo,
but you're maybe like a big time tax evader.
Do they like give you an extra hard
like tax evasion you're kind of pussy prisoner like how does that how do they judge they're
probably going to go to club fed so the federal system has got more money because it's backed by
the u.s federal government now there are some crazy federal prisons but there's also the club
feds the luxury ones where the politicians go to and stuff like that. The state systems have got no money and they're the dregs.
And, you know, it's just like they just treat you like you're absolute shit.
I've spent a very short amount of time in a federal prison.
Not one eyeball was plucked while I was there.
Not a single one.
Not a single one.
You said the states have no money.
Oh, go ahead. Is it that the states have no money oh go ahead is it that the states have
no money or that a chunk of that goes towards profit the states don't spend hardly anything
compared to the feds on the prison conditions they probably just pocket it that's what they
mean they have huge budgets arizona's got a massive budget for prisons i think education
is like 20th and prisons is like third on the list. So someone's taking that money somewhere along the way.
But by warehousing prisoners, feeding them food that you can barely eat,
and having two guards watching a couple hundred prisoners,
that's how they maximize the profits.
And that's why there are escapes.
In Arizona, they were so cheap, they hadn't fixed the alarm.
It had gone off falsely
like 200 times approximately in one month so when some prisoners did escape the guards were like
all right it's just going off again falsely and those prisoners went on a murder spree and people
can look that up it's online about the um arizona prison escape alarm going off guards ignored it
and prisoners people got killed wow so in just curious in pop culture whether it's
movies tv shows i'm sure they get prison all bits of it wrong all the time but is there a show or
something out there that you watched about prison you're like holy shit this one this one feels way
more real than the rest or none of them are hitting the mark so there are some silly ones but there are some good ones as
well none of them are 100 i think um profit was a french film it was really gritty and depressing
portrayed it well there's a movie called shot caller and there's a finance guy he's got he
runs a red light with his woman and his friend and her wife,
and his friend dies, and he's had too much to drink, so he gets sent down.
Now, when he goes in with the new arrivals in the night,
there's this skinny black guy walks in, and he's looking down really nervous,
not giving off the right body language.
That guy gets gang raped in the night.
So the finance guy's like shit you know
the ab guys have been checking him out and they think he's a lame so when he gets challenged the
next day he just starts throwing punches he's like i'm not gonna lay down for nobody and that
happened to me and then the gang starts to see his potential they have him carrying drugs carrying
knives putting in more and more work but then he gets so much time well
i don't want to spoil it but you know basically just makes the situation way worse worse for
himself and that movie answers one of the questions you asked earlier about you know
shot callers you know yeah they can get the hustle on and make things out of it but also
they could get a hell of a lot more time
added on they may never even get out wow yeah that's a good movie i saw that a while back
check that out it's got uh what's his name that plays jamie lannister uh in game of thrones he's
the he's the main character he gets that one bro bro and sell block i can't remember the number but that's good one too
so we haven't even touched on your drug empire we skipped straight to the
we we skipped straight to the horrific part of uh of the consequences but there had to be
years and years of fun you know well how did you started out you came to the
u.s um and you ended up being a stockbroker right like that was your legit job and you were doing
really well at that like hundreds of thousands of dollars a year correct of legitimate money
within five years i was grossing half a million in commissions. And then you get into the rave scene and start experimenting with ecstasy.
Go ahead.
When I was at uni, I started taking ecstasy.
And before the rave scene, I was too self-conscious to dance,
wouldn't go up and talk to women.
I had social anxiety.
I almost got beat to death by
some drunks when I was a teenager, which compounded my anxiety. But then when I took ecstasy,
I couldn't stop dancing, wouldn't stop talking to women all night long. And it became my religion.
So I told myself, you know, my goal was to become a millionaire by the time I was 30.
I started trading the stock market at 16, started following at 14.
My economics teacher was giving me classes of my own.
And I did achieve that goal, but I had no common sense.
I'm in my 20s, testosterone-fueled, no emotional maturity,
grossing half a million a year.
I'm having to get to the office for the six o'clock in the morning sales
meeting because we're on new york stock market hours in arizona getting burnt out on that business
thinking all right do i want to keep doing this or should i try and make money for the party scene
and that fateful decision cost me everything so
I guess what was that decision like
it was just you were so addicted
to maybe not the drug itself
but the man I'm getting pussy
I feel like I'm a cool cat now
you know I'm not shy I'm dancing the night
away I'm willing to roll the dice
on this you know I'm not going to end up in prison
not the real thing
what took you to the next level
was Wildman's first visit.
Wildman, while I was working
up the ranks of stockbrokers,
was in prison in the UK.
Now, he was my best friend
since childhood.
My goal was to get him
out to America
and have him channel his energy
into becoming a professional wrestler.
This is how idealistic I was.
So,
so I rented him a house by the Georgian dragon British pub in central Phoenix
thinking he'll just go to the pub while I'm at work,
chill with the expats,
have a beer and nothing bad will happen.
Now,
within a couple of months me and my girlfriend
show up at wild man's place and a bunch of mexicans answered the door i'm like where's peter
they're like peter yeah peter he lives here no we didn't order pizza no not peter
and then they all pull guns out and And me and my girlfriend start backtracking across the road.
And the wild man just bounces over the road, all smiles.
We just nearly got shot.
What's going on with your place?
He says, they are the local crack dealers.
The guy at the back, he's from Colombia.
He's running the crew of mexicans they like to
move around a lot so i've rented them the place they're buzzing because i can do one hundred
dollar crack rock in one breath they love it when i do that and so do i
they're giving me all this crack for free.
And I'm just living at their place over the street right now.
They like to move around.
So Wildman, wherever he went, he took control of the street people.
And he just started to do endless amounts of crack and crystal meth.
He would smoke it nonstop.
And he would stay up for two weeks at a time
he would go off on a walk for like two or three days we didn't know where he was and he'd come
back with holes in his shoes and his feet all bleeding he got hospitalized i mean it's it was
so hot out there in arizona he got hospitalized his heart something happened with his heart
so we went to visit him in the hospital and they got all these sensors on him and the monitors and shit and he says look this thing
happened to my heart i was dehydrated blah blah give me an ecstasy pill i gave him an ecstasy
pill i thought he was just going to take it when he got out to celebrate and he popped it right
there in the hospital all the things start beeping and shit so we we all we all run out of that place and um
wild man's apartment that one i got him didn't last very long a guy came over to buy drugs from
the mexicans he'd never wild man had never seen guns before the guy started to demonstrate his
gun to wild man and shot himself in the head
and killed himself. And that place
ended with a corpse on the doorstep
and, you know,
the cops coming out and everything. So Wildman then
moved over to a place on the west side.
Your stories escalate quickly.
That's a good-ass story.
Yeah, so we went to McDonald's
and then an asteroid hit the building
and everyone exploded.
At least Wildman lasted a few months
at that first place. He only lasts a few
days at the next. So he moves in
with two women and a
bouncer from a club on Van Buren.
This guy's a steroid head,
disco dancing cowboy with
permed hair, claiming he's a member
of the gangster disciples
and it was the girls who had Wildman move in
over there because they were behind on the rent
so I cut a check to the office
Wildman moves in but I knew
gangster disciple guy was going to be a problem
so within days I get a call
from the office
saying that
Wildman's roommate
has been attacked by Wildman
and he needs to move out.
He's getting evicted.
I said, well, how do you know Wildman's roommate has been attacked?
I mean, what proof do you have of this?
And she said that the guy who's the disciple dude
was seen fleeing from the apartment in the middle of the night
by the neighbors with plasterboard dust all over
his head and face.
And there were multiple
holes in the walls.
Fortunately, he did this so fast
I was able to stop the check.
They hadn't even cashed the check.
So, the girls that he
was living with said look we know
another apartment that's behind on the rent over in tempe arizona and this now this guy again
this now is the beginning of the criminal enterprise so he moves over to tempe arizona
this is party town now you know and um we're partying there every weekend and we're getting
like up to 50 to 100 pills
from the local dealers.
That's all we could get.
I'm just showing off, you know,
my ego's as big as the Grand Canyon,
making more money than I've got common sense.
I'm in my 20s, giving pills away for free.
When you give drugs away for free,
you attract a lot of friends.
So now I'm starting to see the business potential of it.
So Acid Joey, he's dead now. Most potential of it so acid joey is dead now most of
my male friends from back then are dead now he was found um dead in his swimming pool with his clothes
on um god rest his soul so acid joey he was our supplier back then local supplier and he found out
that the local middleman was getting the pills out of la so i set a deal up to go out to buy a thousand
pills now two carloads of us went out there i've got me and wild man in one car i've got another
huge guy called seth he's also dead now and acid joey in that car and we drive out there i've got
you know the money to buy a thousand pills 10 plus k whatever it was but we're waiting for hours outside this guy's house in west hollywood and the tension's rising wildman's like when he
shows up i'm just gonna go in and take his fucking pills he's kept us waiting for so long
rapidly turning into a robbery okay if you do that how are we gonna have a regular supply man
just just chill if i don't come out of here in 15 minutes then steam in so eventually he shows up i If you do that, how are we going to have a regular supply, man? Just chill.
If I don't come out of here in 15 minutes, then steam in.
So eventually he shows up.
I go in.
I don't know if you've seen that movie Point Break,
but they were like these.
Saul was the dealer, and he had all these surfer gangster dudes
straight out of Point Break in there.
I'm thinking, am I going to get jacked?
Are the cops watching these guys?
So I'm quite nervous.
I've got all this money on me.
I say, all right, I've got the bills.
Where's the pills?
He goes in the back room.
I'm thinking, is he going to come out with a gun,
just take this money off me?
There's nothing I can do, pretty much.
He comes out with the biggest bag of pills I've ever seen in my life,
like mites and peaches.
So I say, all right, before we do this deal, is it okay if I try one?
He goes, yeah, sure.
So he gives me a pill, and I put it in my mouth he goes do you want to drink with that chase I said no I'm just going to chew it to see
what it tastes like because over the years I'd learn what a good pill tastes like a good pill
should be 100 125 milligrams of MDMA and clay so I'm chewing this pill he's looking at me like I'm
crazy I'm just chewing a raw pill. And it tasted like the
real thing. So I did the deal, left, go back to Wildman's new place in Tempe, Arizona. And within
a weekend, they were gone. So that was it. And I'm thinking, right, the business experiment has
succeeded. I no longer need to be a stockbroker.'s an arbitrage opportunity here these pills are going for 25 to 30 dollars in the clubs that was going to be my question you took those you took that bag
of pills and how much money did you pay for them and how much did you turn that into that first
transaction probably about 12 dollars a pill which slowly went down over time until at the peak of it
i've got about 200 people working for me and i'm getting them out of Holland for like $2 or $3 a pill
bringing in like $30,000 or $40,000 at a time
How long did it take you to get through
$30,000 or $40,000 pills?
This is over the years, so Sammy the Bull moved in towards the end
of things
Loving the nicknames!
This is great
I got
in with the locals in about 96, 97 when I was just raving with them.
So the locals would come up to me with their projects, their party ideas.
Their nickname for me was the Bank of England.
And they would ask me to invest in their party ideas.
Now, over time, what I did was all these little clicks that were throwing the parties were competing.
Over time, what I did was all these little cliques that were throwing the parties were competing.
I unified all those little cliques and incorporated them into my enterprise.
And it was structured like a corporation.
So we've got a head of every faction.
And then there's crime family dinner every month for the heads of the factions.
And people say, all right, they're going for 25, 30.
You're getting them for $2 or $3.
That's a lot of money.
But I think it was Unilad or Lead Bible, they did a graph,
and they made an error on it as well, so I'll correct that for you guys.
So if I'm getting them at three, I'm giving them to my head of a faction,
maybe 5,000 at a time on credit at $10 a pill.
And then he's giving them to his middle guy at 15,
20, and they're getting sold on the, on the streets, on the, on the, on the clubs,
25 to 30. So my profit might just be $7 on 40,000, but you know, it's still quarter of a million.
Yeah. That's a lot of money. Jeez. What was the fun of it? You know, I'm sure at the beginning, like you said, you're bullheaded, you're young, you know, nothing can take you down. Was the just amount of fun you were having pushing down all the stress? Because like, I'm a very high stress person. I can't imagine having a fucking ecstasy drug empire under me. Like, were you just always running through your thoughts? Like, oh my God, what if one guy flips and then it leads to this and then back to me and then i'm fucked like were you constantly paranoid or just so wrapped up okay this journey as you'll see with all journeys of people getting
into the drugs game has a cycle the beginning is the fun the gl glitz, the glamour.
I'm throwing parties for up to 10,000 people out in the desert.
Got four stages, got DJs flown in from around the world.
Got my bouncers running around, arms to the teeth.
I'm the man now.
I'm this cool guy.
You know, women coming up, ravers, striptease dancers coming up all night long,
thanking me for the pills, guys coming up, you know, giving me hugs,
thanking me for the party.
And that is just one big ego feed.
Like I said, you know, my ego was as big as the Grand Canyon.
But, yeah, that was motivating me to keep doing it.
The amount of, you know, knock you get.
keep doing it. The amount of, you know, knock you get. My third wife was, she was doing lesbian internet porn when I met her. She was very intelligent. She had a degree from the university
there in Tucson. And her thing was that women could join us sexually, give us both oral pleasure,
but then the woman would have to leave and we would have full-on sex.
And that even carried through until our wedding day.
On our wedding day, we went to the Little White Chapel in Las Vegas.
And on the way back,
I think we were staying at Caesar's Palace.
Someone on the strip just hands
us one of those sleazy magazines.
This is in the late 90s.
And she's
like, I want to go to Brothel. It's my wedding day.
I want to go to Brothel.
Who am I
to stand in the way of my wife's wishes
when my wife wants to go to a brothel on our wedding day i've got to satisfy this demand
so i start calling the brothels in las vegas i'm saying look me and my wife want to come over
and they're like these are gentlemen's clubs You can't bring your wife over here.
That's not allowed.
So I'm like, you know, going limp now, thinking this isn't going to happen.
And she goes, she's getting more and more pouty.
And then she goes, well, just call a woman out to the room.
So I think the same thing is going to happen.
I call a number in this magazine.
I say look
Me and my wife want to you know, my wife's bisexual we want to be pleasured
Do you have a woman you know that fits this? Yeah, no problem at all $150 for now. We'll send the woman right over
so we're in my wife's got
Lines of coke on a table because, you know,
I was at operations in Mexico.
I was clicked up with Mexican cartel guys,
clicked up with the New Mexican Mafia.
I could get a kilo of cocaine for about $12,000,
like pure slab glistening with pearly iridescent cocaine, not the cut shit that you see on the streets of London and England.
Not the shit you have, Taylor.
Yeah, I've seen it.
So my wife's cutting lines of coke.
The escort shows up.
My wife's like a Texas blonde.
Escort is brunette in this red outfit.
So she comes in and I say,
here's what we want to happen.
My wife wants to be pleasured orally.
Then you're going to pleasure me orally. Then you're going to pleasure me orally.
Then you're going to leave because we're going to have sex.
It's our wedding day.
It's like, cool, $150.
She goes, do you mind if I have a line of Coke?
We're like, okay.
So she makes this master blaster line of Coke.
We're like, hold on a minute.
We're from Arizona.
We're on the Mexican border.
That's pure stuff. I can handle my shit. Bl blah blah blah all right so who who was i to get in the way she does this master blaster line my wife's on the bed she goes down on my wife i'm
watching this getting turned on want to jump on but i can't you know my wife set the rule that
she gets pleasured i get pleasured girl, girl has to leave, we have sex.
I'm abiding by that. But I'm getting
really aroused watching this.
Then, that bit's done.
The women jump up.
The escort does
another huge line of coke.
So by the time I get on the bed,
she's so high,
she grabs my dick with this iron welder's grip.
She's giving it this on my dick.
And I've got to hold on to my nut for my wife
because it's our wedding day.
I'm about to bust one.
So I'm thinking like Pythagoras' theorem.
I can see Margaret Thatcher.
I'll have a bite of anything possible.
Try and make my dick go down.
I'm just desperately holding on.
And in the end, I had to stop it.
And it's time now for me and my wife to consummate our wedding.
But the escort, she jumps up, does more cocaine,
starts to tell us her life story and i
felt really sad at this point but my wife didn't she pulls out a picture of a kid she's like i'm
out here from nebraska i'm new to this you know i'm a single mom trying to make money for my kid
doing things that i don't you know necessarily want to do i think you guys are the coolest
couple in the world why don't you take me back to arizona can i come out clubbing with you guys tonight and all this shit my heart's open
my wife's just like getting furious she's just like looking at me
in the end the escort goes to the toilet my wife says to me do you want to get rid of her or should
i and in the end i just said look i'll get rid of her or should I? And in the end, I just said, look, I'll get rid of her.
She goes, the whole point of calling Escort Eyes out,
they fucking leave your room when the business is done
and this girl's never going to leave.
So, okay.
I said, all right, all right.
I'll politely get rid of her.
I'll tell her we've got to go clubbing, whatever.
So that's what we did.
And, yeah, man, you know, your question was,
why was I involved in this
drug empire
a motivating
factor if you're the party kingpin
no, you've sold me
this sounds really good
because you know, I had guys
running the Ecstasy Through Strip clubs
and had striptease dancers running
the Ecstasy Through Strip clubs so had striptease dancers running the XC through strip clubs.
So they get all the money then from the customers.
And then they come to our after parties.
So at these after parties, I'd rent like the villa, the Hilton Villas in Scottsdale for days on end.
People be going around in roller skates and on bicycles, just naked.
People putting, you know, candle wax on each other.
There'd be a jacuzzi on each end.
And it was just a really good vibe.
We had all these DJs in, never any violence.
And you didn't even have to be having sex.
People just being cuddle puddles, massaging each other's shoulders,
doing the Vicks inhaler thing.
Someone just touches your skin, you're in ecstasy. You almost have an orgasm. What doing the Vicks inhaler thing. Someone just touches your skin, you're in ecstasy.
You almost have an orgasm.
What's the Vicks inhaler thing?
So when you're in ecstasy,
your senses are heightened to a certain degree.
And when you do the Vicks inhaler,
it just goes throughout your lungs
and you just have this wave of bliss.
You mentioned the stages of success.
You're like, hey, at the very beginning,
it's a big party. It's fun on the rise. Can you continue on what the rest of success. You're like, hey, at the very beginning, it's a big party.
It's fun on the rise.
Can you continue on what the rest of that path looks like?
Absolutely.
I don't want to glamorize this here.
I fear that I may be at risk of doing that so far.
Let me make this clear to the audience at this point.
My job now is going to schools and scaring the living daylights, our kids, with the jail
conditions and the consequences of drugs in the hope they won't get involved in drugs and crime.
And they also donate books.
My book, Hard Time, is about the jail conditions.
I've donated 20,000 books in the last couple of years
to school kids and prisoners in the hope they won't,
you know, do the stupid shit I did.
So going more over to the consequences side of it,
then you do eventually enter the dark side of drugs because
every time you take drugs you're always chasing those first highs first time you do ecstasy yeah
you have the time of your life you're dancing all night long you're telling people your life story
you know and um the next time you do it the pleasure goes down a little fraction that you don't notice and in the background the pain
the side effects rises a little fraction that you don't notice and over the years
those curves cross and if you're addicted a lot of people do drugs and they'll be fine but if
you've got an addictive personality and you can't stop when that pain rises above the pleasure you keep going even though you know what it's going to lead
to the prison police or death and i learned that because in the jail 90 injecting heroin two-thirds
hepatitis c all the day revolved around getting the drugs in, even though they knew they were going to die.
Yellow jaundice skin, teeth rotting out.
And that made me ashamed of putting people on the road of drug use.
I saw this is the end of that road.
This is the horror of what it leads to.
And I knew I couldn't change my past.
So I resolved to just go out and share my story
so others wouldn't make my mistakes.
So over time, you know, we had a good run.
story so others wouldn't make my mistakes so over time you know we had a good run and um you start mixing your drugs up to get that to chase those early highs i think that there was
a newspaper article they called us the zek tribe and that's because we were mixing xanax and ecstasy
and ketamine um at one point um coke and ketamine at one point.
Coke and ketamine, you know, like CK, we call that.
Are you writing this down, Taylor?
Crystal meth.
By the time the indictment came down,
the prosecutor said most of my co-defendants were chronically addicted to crystal meth
and they didn't have hardly any belongings, a lot of them.
So that's how it ends up.
And in my book, Part of Time, at the very end of it,
it says, where are they now?
And nearly all my male friends from back then,
one by one, are dead because of the lifestyle choices.
Is there ecstasy?
No, go ahead, Blake.
You mentioned you were making about half a million a year
before that drug thing off your finance commissions
is that what i mean so that's a stupid thing i didn't even need to be doing the drugs i was worth
two million in the stock market during the dot-com bubble so money wasn't even your motivation for
doing the drug thing like half a million a year like some people make more but that's enough
you're not hurting you can buy anything you want most i've written i've written the longest ever
book about escobar it's over a thousand pages long pablo escobar story i've researched the shit out of
his life and there came a point in time when his brother said look we're worth billions why don't
we just buy our own island kick back rival gangsters won't kill us we won't end up in prison
for the rest of our lives we can live happily happily ever after, effectively. Pablo Escobar turned around to his brother Roberto and said,
you want me to kick back on some boring ass island, you know,
on a deck chair, sipping a margarita, just paraphrasing.
And when I'm running a multi-billion dollar business,
when my money puts the president of Colombia in power,
when thousands of people are working for me,
it's all ego.
It is psychological.
The lifestyle is more addictive than the cash and the drugs.
That makes sense.
Now, you left it, right?
I'm sorry, Taylor.
Do you want to finish your thought?
No, no.
I think I read on your Wikipedia page
that you stopped doing the whole party drug thing.
Like, you left it, and they kind of convicted you,
what I'll call, from the grave.
Like, you were done. You closed shop,
and they still came after you. Am I right on that?
Yeah, what happened was, I'd met a woman, fallen in love,
and she talked me out of it,
and I'd quit a year before I got caught.
I thought they had to catch you with drugs. They don't. Statue of limitations, Arizona. Anyone from your past within seven years,
if they tell the cops they did a deal with you, they've got you. They've got a witness.
Something I forgot to mention about the dark side of drugs then. When Sammy the Bull's crew
started to move in, that is when it got really dark. Those people brought in the feds and all the undercovers
they lit the scene up we saw cars driving around videoing cameras recording license plates
recording people going in and out the clubs parties now they enticed my top sales guy Skinner
to a nightclub in Scottsdale under the pretext of doing a drug deal these were
people who you know worked for the ball and that we found out later on and they took him into the
men's room and knocked his teeth out and took all of these drugs off him so i moved over 100 miles
at that point to tucson in the sin vacas community in the in the mountains there. And it was a gated guarded community.
To get into that neighborhood, you had to go to the guard
and you had to call the house just to let you in.
That's how sketchy it got.
Because like I said, I structured it like a corporation
and had all the heads of each faction.
They were my shield.
I always told myself when that shield gets pierced
i'm next yeah and that's that's what happened i you know the the police took down the bull
and his crew and i'm thinking thank you you've just eliminated my competition well then all
those resources that were on the bull were redirected that me and my crew that makes sense and that's why you stopped
because you felt like you were about to get caught no i stopped because of multiple reasons
the nasdaq had crashed i'd lost a lot of my money and i was depressed i met a woman i was in love
with her she was saying it's so dangerous you gotta stop this was the woman you married same
woman from the previous no different one sketchy one. Sketchy things were happening to my friends.
And with all the undercover activity, I had a lawyer.
And he said, heads up, from the DEA, they're coming after you.
And it was a multi-agency task force that came after me.
So there was a combination of factors that motivated me to stop.
And I was back to trading the stock market online.
I'd enrolled in college doing Spanish
and I was trying to be a normal person.
We were going to actually move to LA.
You talked about ecstasy being addictive.
I don't have any drug experience really.
Is it like, there's addictive,
like the internet is addictive, right? Where you just kind
of are compelled to do it every day. And then there's withdrawals addictive. What is the ecstasy
cycle like or the lifetime? Okay. It's not the drug per se. It's the individual.
So most people, I mean, over half of young people in this country experiment with drugs and they'll
go on to lead completely normal lives.
And the biggest drugs they do in this country, in the UK, is weed, coke and ecstasy.
But there is a minor percent of people who've got addictive personality types.
And once they get on that road, they will just self-destruct.
They will just keep going. They'll just all out, keep they will just self-destruct. They will just keep going.
They'll just all out keep going until they self-destruct.
And that was the case for me and my co-defendants.
I've got an addictive personality type.
Did you bring any ecstasy into prison when you were there? Like have that brought in because you probably still had some remnant connections?
You haven't mentioned ecstasy.
Ecstasy doesn't seem like it would be a prison drug.
It's like more of a rape drug. I can't imagine the cuddle puddles in prison come on rocco
before before i got arrested the guards guards were buying ecstasy off me that they were
redistributing in the prison system once i got arrested you know i was already trying to sever myself from that
community and once i got arrested i was just fighting for my life then because the sentence
length i was facing there was no way i was gonna bring any drugs in but once the woods found out
because there was a newspaper article that said i was you know over the years i've done more than
sammy the bull so once they read that in the prison, in the Remand Jail, Towers Jail, the woods,
they were like, all right, we know you've got connections.
Have your girlfriend bring stuff in for your visitation.
And I said, look, Alaska, I didn't know how to respond properly.
I said Alaska, and I kept slow playing it.
In the end, those prisoners who were sweating me,
they caused a race riot riot and they ended up getting
moved so that friend fret went away but the race right story is quite mental if you want to hear
that yes absolutely i'd love the lead up the the action and the the post-mortem
so as i mentioned um there were the four major racial categories.
And the head of the blacks, I have to change names for legal reasons.
So sometimes I use a name that's a different name for the same story,
and people have called me out on that.
But when you're publishing books, legal departments go over them and they make you change names.
So I'll call the head of the blacks Smackdown.
And he was a boxer boxer and he had never lost a fight and he was bullying members of all races for commissary he came in my cell and he tried to
bully a snickers bar out of me and I was like look you know can't eat the food in here that's
like a meal for me if I give you that now you know i'm not
it's like i'm not gonna have a meal today so he was sweating me and he ended up going away
but he did sweat people and get stuff out of them so all the heads of every racial category except
for the blacks got together and they said we've got to do something about smackdown well you know
if we have one guy say to him look one-on-one in the cell under the stairs,
because he's such a trained fighter, he's going to win.
And that gives him his right to stay then because he's won the beef.
So what we'll do is we'll send a torpedo in from each race.
Now, a torpedo is someone who's just going to go in, no questions asked,
do whatever the head of the race says to earn his stripes.
So you've got a Mexican national torpedo.
It was called Diablo.
You've got a Chicano torpedo.
I can't remember his name.
And then you've got a wood torpedo who my crew knew,
and Wildman knew this guy.
He was like
some tough cowboy guy out in Nebraska
or somewhere like that
and
they also say
right we're going to send three in
and we're going to have three more outside the
cell just in
case
in case it goes bad for the first three
Is this guy big or just skilled? Like is he 130 in case it goes bad for the first three.
Is this guy big or just skilled?
Is he a 130, 150 pound champion or a 210 pound
champion? How big is this guy?
He wasn't as big as my mate T-Bone,
but we can get to him later on. He was
like John Coffey out of
that movie.
He was a
decent sized guy.
The blacks are downstairs
The day room in Towers Jail
It's got these octagonal
Silver tables
Bolted to the floor
Then there's a metal grid
Stairs running up
To two tiers of cells
Facing the front now there's four pods exactly the
same like that in this tower and then in the middle of the tower is a glass bubble raised up
with two guards over watching the four separate pods so in the day room of this the pod was designed for 15 men the triple bunk they've got
45 guys in there so in the day room you've got the blacks on the table doing the gambling cards
dominoes whatever it was and smackdown is up in his cell the heads of the races they give the
green light so it it goes off upstairs the three guys go in
you've got more guys outside on the stairs guarding the position and you've got the
blacks now downstairs starting to notice that something's kicking off all of a sudden then
the whole pod just starts fighting people are picking up mops and brooms and doing ninja moves
and the um the guard on duty he was a really tough guy he was supposed to wait for backup
in a riot situation he put on a space suit he grabs a fire extinguisher sized canister of chemical spray and he's working his way down now
from the fishbowl the bubble it's like a spiral stirs so he's going to come out at the base
of the tower open the sliding door and come in and spray everybody and he's going to come in
right behind me i was on the phone with my girlfriend. They cut the phone line.
I'm trying to get up the stairs.
This huge black guy comes down the stairs like a bowling ball,
knocks everybody over.
Crazy.
People are battling for positions on the stairs.
I'm trying to elbow my wages back to myself.
The guard comes in.
He starts spraying.
When you spray that stuff, snot just streams and your eyes just water.
And people did disperse.
I managed to get back to my cell.
I've got a cellmate called Troll and I've got another cellmate who's an old-timer.
And the old-timer says, look, when that chemical spray gets released what you've got to do is you
got to wet your towel wrap it around your head and keep blinking and blinking and blinking over
and over again and that washes the chemical out which is what I did now the guards come in the
backup guards everyone's in their cells but we can still hear fighting
so I'm getting curious
now, I want to look out my towel
out my plexiglass window
and
what had happened was
the torpedoes
two of them had managed to get out of
Smackdown's cell
but the white torpedo was still in there
and they were just opening up with the chemical spray and they were fighting blind of SmackDown's cell, but the white torpedo was still in there.
And they were just opening up with the chemical spray,
and they were fighting blind.
Now, what I later learned was when the cowboy went into SmackDown's cell with the two other torpedoes, he snuck behind him,
and he got behind him, and he managed to get him into a headlock.
But because Smackdown was a trained fighter, he pushed the guy back against the wall, tilted his head forward, flicked it back violently and instantly broke the cowboy's nose.
and instantly broke the cowboy's nose.
The cowboy's holding on to his neck and the other guys are just punching the shit out of SmackDown.
But he was so tough, you know,
it wasn't really having much of an effect.
So when the spraying began,
the two torpedoes, they got out,
but the cowboy didn't get out in time.
And now you've got this fight
of the blind men until
that stopped. Now when that did
eventually stop
the cowboy comes
out first and his
nose is pointing in the wrong direction
and he says
in his polite
cowboy twang
to the guards, he says,
before you handcuff me, do you mind if I put my nose back in place?
And they're just looking at him like he's crazy.
So the guard nods, and he just gets his hand and just puts his nose back in place.
So they take him away, because if you're in a fight like
that, you're going to go straight to lockdown and the punishment
block. They take him out.
Then they bring Smackdown out.
Smackdown looks completely
uninjured.
And he just turns around
to the whole pod as the guards
are escorting him out and he goes,
that three-on-one bullshit
I'm going to have all y'all
when I get out of lockdown.
Did he?
Smackdown sounds cool.
Did Smackdown
cool off maybe while he was
in solitary or like how did that work out?
I think that he ended up
just permanently
locked down.
Because he's been in so many fights in so many other buildings.
Smackdown and Cowboy could have ruled the block together.
Probably not.
Like Batman and Robin.
Ripples of racial division.
They're not parallel.
Yeah.
So if I watch enough Wes Watson videos, his real crime was bullying outside his race, right?
You're supposed to keep that stuff in your own race, right?
That's why they greenlit him to have him attacked.
Yeah, absolutely.
He was violating the rules, yeah.
If you're going to fuck with someone and you're in the Aryan gang,
not like the head honcho guy you you fuck with
other areas so you don't go mess with the cholo whatever you said the other the deal is this
they want to keep the drugs business running they want harmony to an extent now if two black guys
have got a beef you know go under the stairs squash the beef two white guys got beef go on
the stairs squash the beef black guy white guy same thing go on the stairs squash the beef two white guys got beef go on the stairs squash the beef black guy and white guy same thing go on the stairs squash the beef they don't want it igniting into a race riot
if you've got issues within your race you go to your head and the head makes the decision
according to the convict code so what was happening was multiple people who were getting
bullied by smackdown were going to their individual heads and saying, look, this guy's doing this to me.
This guy's doing that to me.
It's going against the racial conduct.
Is something going to happen about this guy?
And so many people went to so many heads
that the heads got together
and they decided to end it
by sending the three torpedoes in.
Okay.
You mentioned just then the convict code.
Now I'm sure you've gone over some of that,
you know,
a lot of rules thus far,
just in this conversation.
What,
what's some of those kind of,
or bits of that code that those of us who've never been to maximum security
prison would have no idea or maybe not expect.
So you guys are probably hip to a lot of it already.
Like snitches get stitches, you sex offenders the chomos they're gonna get stabbed up kos kill
on site some offenses are sos smash on site so for example drive-by shootings if a woman
and excuse me if a woman and kids get hit especially in drive-by shootings that happens a
lot they don't like that at all um the gang members the heads so you're going to get a beat down at
least for a drive-by shooting you know if you know a guard from the streets maybe you went the same
school you knew a guard from some something keep it to yourself because that will get exploited
if you start chatting to the guard,
you're through because they're going to think you're snitching or you're
grassing,
you know,
you're grassing someone else.
In England,
they say grass means snitch.
I know a lot of the Americans don't understand that.
Grassing someone out means snitching someone.
So,
um,
showering,
bad hygiene.
Um,
the guy who was in the shootout,
the drive by who the girl's nipple
had come off
that guy, like I said, he was this huge
guy, like 300 pounds
and
he was sweating constantly
and
it was stinking a bit
so the gang
the Chicanos got together and had a meeting
about him, a hygiene meeting.
And they were
going to beat him up and make him roll up,
just end the problem right there.
But they allowed him to stay
on the grounds that he had a shower
every couple of hours and
coated his
skin in baby powder
after every shower.
I think I must have spelled ripe every couple hours.
They had to have a meeting.
Man, this is fucking getting gross, man.
So we know you can't snitch, right?
Can you get away with dry snitching?
So I watch these prison YouTube video genres, right?
And an example of dry snitching, right?
Maybe you beat me up
and then I'm all bruised and marked up.
I go to the cafeteria and eat, right?
That's my way of letting people know
that shit went down
and maybe that's a way of telling on you
without ever doing it.
Do people get away with dry snitching at all
or is that stuff?
I'll give you a story from
two tony's book so two tony's you know he was in decades before me in the 70s and the 80s
and there was a young prisoner that he was he was talking to regularly and he became friends with
and the guy only had a year left he was going to get released but the guy idolized the Urien Brotherhood he was
rising up and he wanted to earn his stripes so they gave him a piece of metal and they said
do a number on this guy and you'll be a full patched in member. And he dropped the metal, you know,
where the guards could see it and didn't do the hit.
And the two Tonys went to the shot caller and said, you know,
he's only got a year left, blah, blah, blah.
And the guy said, we've got to make an example. it's a done deal back away and so tony's new then
if he backed this guy up anymore he would be hit next so he backed away and he said he was on the
rec yard and he just talked to the kid and he's you know the kid said hey fix me up with the fellas
i'm gonna go and walk the yard with this guy and the guy was you know the guy who was the shot caller was gonna he would already put the
green light and he too tony saw the the torpedoes the probates digging up the shanks on the rec
field and the guy's got his arm around you know know, like the youngster telling him, you know, you're going to be all right.
And then they just come up and did the hit.
And he said, yeah.
And it really affected Two Tonys.
And he said, you know, it made him want to help people
later on in his life.
Two Tonys was released from that sentence.
And the guy who was responsible for that hit,
he ends up showing up at Two Tonys' house when he got released.
And Two Tonys helped him out because they were all clicked up,
these Aryan Brotherhood guys.
But then the guy started to take over Two Tonys' house.
He moved the crystal meth chemist in.
And Two Tonys knew this guy was gonna kill
him so two Tony said look let's go and do this robbery in Flagstaff I think it
was and he's driving up there with him and he knows you know they've got a gun
and they're gonna take him out to Tony's um gets out the car a gas station just
turns around at the window and just fucking shoots the guy and kills him.
So he did kill the guy eventually.
Wow.
They put a hit on that young guy with only a year left.
Yeah.
Naively still hoping a hit
means he got like a black eye.
Nah, he's dead.
He's dead, huh?
Shanked in the
femur artery and shanked in the chest plate
and he didn't survive that
that's the quickest way to go
they'll get your heart
and they'll get your female artery
because I've got a video
on my channel of an
Aryan Brotherhood gang member
murdering another prisoner
who had refused to beat
someone up for the gang
and he doesn't have access to his shank
or anything. And bear in mind, this is
the Maricopa County Jail's
security camera. The guard is
supposed to be watching this, stopping any trouble.
So what happens is
the prisoner goes back to his cell.
Everything seems fine with
the gang members, the shot caller
what was his name
Van Winkle or something
he walks up the stairs, goes in the cell
a fight ensues
and then for 10 minutes
he just starts smashing this
guy's head over and over
and over into the concrete
and he keeps looking at the guards camera.
Like what the fuck.
So.
Guards still haven't responded.
10 minutes in.
And then he starts stomping on the guy's head.
The neck.
The guards did that.
No the guard the murderer.
So 20 minutes in.
The guy's dead.
Guards still haven't responded Jesus Christ
he picks the corpse up
brings it
out of the cell
right in front of the camera like he's trying to show it off
tries to throw it off a balcony
it gets stuck in the railing.
The guards still don't come.
So he just starts kicking it and kicking it
and kicking it and kicking it.
And then eventually they come in.
He claimed it.
Because of the smell.
Yeah, when he started rotting
and decomposing.
This shows how much control the gangs have got
over the prisoners versus the guards.
The gangs are in complete control.
Yeah, it sounds like it.
I don't know if you know,
Kyle did two months in a minimum security thing,
and he explained guard motivation.
He said the guards really, really cared about the count.
That was their big thing.
All the prisoners need to stay in prison.
Outside of that, everything was was they barely gave a fuck they didn't care too much if prisoners hurt each other
they didn't care too much if this prisoners needed to be where they were supposed to be during the
count and outside of that no one cared is that your experience at these more intense prisons
yeah the guards would um have prisoners fight on and make bets on who was going to win.
And that race riot situation, the head of the white was this guy called Gravedigger.
He was like a cage fighter, six foot something.
He had like the devil as a puppet master on his chest.
And there was a guard who just used to love watching him fight. six foot something. Yeah. They're like the devil as a puppet master on his chest.
And there was a guard who, um,
just used to love watching him fight.
And then he'd have guys like pin down on the floor and he'd be using his
elbows as chisels,
just one after the other into the person's face.
And so all they would do was just in like a bubbling pool of blood and the
guard,
the guard would love that.
He would just be watching it.
I'd like, yeah. So don't fuck with the count though fuck with the count and you are through man did the guards ever use the other like so i am i used to know a couple prison guards and
they used the inmates to discipline each other you know that people would get raped
and they're laughing as they tell me the stories and clapping to imitate the sound of the rape.
And I'm horrified at this.
Some guy is getting raped and they're thinking it's a funny way to discipline a guy who's been a pain in their ass.
Like I said earlier, even guards who have well-meaning intentions,
within six months, the evil negative environment,
that energy has absorbed them and they become stone cold at first,
but then there becomes this us versus them mentality where, you know,
both sides are trying to get over on each other, and both sides have got equally insidious senses of humor
when it comes to bad things happening to the other side.
So, yeah, guards might be like that,
but prisoners equally would make jokes about the guards.
And if a prisoner intervened in a situation,
like, say, a female guard was getting attacked or something like that,
it could go either way, you know, depending on who the shot caller is.
If you've intervened on a female guard's side,
then you're a sellout and, you know, you're going to get greenlit.
Or, you know, you're protecting a woman from potentially getting raped,
you know, preventing a sex offense.
Depends who the shot caller is.
It's like are you for, sex offense, or against?
Because you're kind of getting mixed messages here
from some of these shot callers.
Right, both.
Depends who the shot caller is.
Yeah.
Raping Steve's in charge this week, though, so.
Here's the thing.
In regular life in America,
it's pretty uncommon for a policeman to be intimidated
by a bad guy right you know out here they have complete authority and if they don't they just
bring more and more and more cops until they get complete authority and overwhelm and then bad guys
don't get to push around cops what about prison do prisoners push around guards do guards ever
feel like they need to get in line
or they'll i don't know hurt their family okay what pushes around people from every profession
to do with the police when prison was that for the courts what what what pushes them around
is money and i'm talking the money from the black market in drugs by keeping drugs illegal
a black market they estimate it's almost a trillion dollars a year so some of that money
is going to corrupt prosecutors going to corrupt police going to corrupt judges
going to corrupt guards and that's what we see happen. Yeah. Oh. So they're not necessarily intimidated
that this Aryan Brotherhood could maybe,
I don't know, hurt their kid who goes to school
or their wife at home.
Oh, yeah.
They are.
That's part of it, too.
Yeah, they find out where guards live and drink,
and they send women to seduce them to bring the drugs in.
Oh, so they'll get them to cheat or just do something that'll hurt their
home life and then they'll find the weakness and they'll exploit it yeah yeah i've got a non
bad guy question you're a finance person the world is in a bit of a financial turmoil
you think market's going up from here or is this some little bear trap,
you know, a little hiccup
before it crashes much further?
Is this economy going to recover
like it's shot out of a cannon
with pent up demand
or unemployment way down?
Where do you see us going?
We saw a 50% drop
and in a bear market,
the average length of a bear market
is nine months.
We saw the initial 50% drop and even in a bear market, nine months we saw the initial 50 drop and even
the bear market the market spends most of its time going up because the drops are so sharp and sudden
so now we've got this bounce that's just prolonged but it looks like it's running out of steam so i
think that the the bounce is um we you know dow jones was 18 000 We're back up now around 24,000.
On the second wave, we could easily see 18,000 getting taken out
because the economy is not just going to return to normal.
I was asked years ago about the Bitcoin bubble and when it's high
and I said, look, this is going to work its way down from here on out
and there'll be huge rallies.
But when everybody and their pet
dog are asking me for advice about investing in bitcoin it's a it's a bad sign there's a saying
in the stock market when your barber starts to give you stock tips run the other way so whenever
people start emailing me and it's happening again now because bitcoin's bounced should they invest
in crypto should they invest in cryptos um it's obviously you know it's happening again now because Bitcoin's bounced. Should I invest in crypto? Should I invest in cryptos?
It's obviously, you know, it's going to go down again soon.
It's weird.
I've always considered one of my indicators to be a little contrarian, right?
When all the news is bad, when no one thinks it's going well,
that might represent a bottom.
Or it could be accurate.
Who the hell knows?
And when all the news is good, kind of like what you were saying right when your barber's excited about stocks that might be an indicator that
you've hit the top and the trick is to find out where that is but it's almost impossible because
how high and how low can psychology take things yeah that's not my trick i just dollar cost average for my whole life understanding macd macd okay and if you look at the um the burr market that happened during the
credit crunch the macd indicator really did call those waves quite accurately and it's starting to
roll over now into a burrish crossover so if people want to want to go down that road
that's a good uh thing indicator to look at so i'm not familiar with the macd indicator but i have
watched stocks for 30 years now and i feel like indicators can come and go out of fashion right
like here's one that's never been wrong until this one goes wrong motley fool had a fun one the dogs
of the dow right they always had they just picked whichever Dow stock did the worst the year before
but had high yields or something like that.
And they tested it all the way back
for some X amount of years.
It was like, this dogs of the Dow strategy is great
until it wasn't,
until they picked stocks like Kodak
that didn't come back.
So all you can do is use as many indicators as possible
that you are familiar with and rely on
to maximize your probability of
success and nothing is infallible you know black swan events will occur and people who say yeah
i'm going to make all this money in the stock market they probably have no idea what they're
doing it's a minefield and they're going to lose their entire investments or most of it which is
the case for novice investors the professionals just feed off these people who
are clueless and get sucked in by the insiders who are constantly pumping the shares. My company's
going to do great. Why aren't you buying? Our sales are up, blah, blah, blah. And those same
insiders are selling the shares, the stock to you while they're putting out all of these positive
news stories. Yeah. And it's easy to misunderstand how hard it is to come back, right?
If you put 10 grand in and then it falls to one,
getting back to 10 is really hard.
You know, it's not hard to lose 90%,
but then you take that one grand and make 90%.
Congratulations, you're at 1,900.
Good fucking luck getting back all the way to 10.
Yeah.
Anyway, I always point this. Good fucking luck getting back all the way to 10. Yeah, anyway.
I always point this.
Dollar cost average into an index fund,
you'll do better than most.
And you'll probably do better than you.
Not you, but whoever I'm talking to listening to this who thinks that they know that whatever,
NVIDIA is going to be the next big thing
or AMD has the fastest chip right now
yeah we'll see stay away from it folks only do what you understand
yeah right it's almost my bedtime here guys okay oh i'm glad i got that questioning before you
um cool well hey thanks so much did you guys have anything? Oh, social media. We need to pimp.
Yeah. Yeah. Where can people find your books? We'll put the titles of your books in the
description of the video. Anything you want to plug?
Yeah. If you'll put a link into my YouTube channel, I just went through 400,000 subs.
No one near you guys yet, but I'm really appreciating all the people who've subbed
and the new subs. I'll send you a link to my books i've got 12 books now available worldwide on amazon in all formats and um you know power to
it power to you guys for doing what you're doing it's been a blast we really enjoyed you that was
that was a that was a lot of fun that was wild stories wildlife did great. You were going to see PKA and RSK on your
social media for the next 10 years.
That was two hours. My life
story's a trilogy. It's 30
hours of stories like this.
So we've only just scratched
the surface. So much more rape to
touch on.
I did. I've got so many
more rape stories. We covered broomsticks, but you
guys have not heard. I've not so many more rape stories. We covered broomsticks, but you guys have not heard.
You're muted, Taylor.
All of the sex stories, all the sex stuff that goes on in prison.
Oh, my God.
Well, we got to have you back on.
That was really, really good shit.
It was a real blast.
I'd love that.
Yeah, cheers.
Thank you so much.
I guess.
Yeah, thanks.
Lots of people are going to be coming to check your shit out.
You're a fantastic storyteller. Oh, thank you, guys. Lots of people are going to be coming to check your shit out. You're a fantastic storyteller.
Thank you, guys.
Are you new to Discord?
You just hit the red hang-up button.
This is my second ever Discord.
Let's see.
Red hang-up button.
Put your mouse over the video feed.
See you then, guys. Good night.
Thank you so much.
Thank you so much for coming.
I'll do an ad
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I had a topic.
Did you see that Joe Rogan signed a 100 million...
No, it's not!
Come on! It's Kyle's. I totally wasn't about to Did you see that Joe Rogan signed a $100 million... No, it's not!
It's Kyle's.
I totally wasn't about to talk about the same thing.
No, you weren't.
I forgot to write that one down, of all things.
That's such huge news. So anyway, lay it out for us, Kyle.
Rogan signed a $100 million deal with Spotify.
And starting, I think, in September,
all of his content is going to be
available over on spotify it's starting to sound like an ad read but i'm just excited for joe rogan
it's gonna eventually it'll be exclusively on on spotify like if you want to watch his show the
way you've been watching it you gotta head on over to spotify but it's free you don't have to like
make some sort of special account or any or or a paid account or anything like that.
His content is going to be Spotify content.
And it'll be still produced and created in the same way,
in the same format,
because he's not going to be an employee of Spotify.
It's the same show.
It's just over there now.
$100 million.
Dude, this is...
Spotify does videos?
I had no idea.
Well, they're going to have to
because that's what he's doing. I don't know
anything about Spotify, but I know that he's going there
and that the video version of his
show will be on Spotify, so
hence, Spotify does video.
Good for him. $100 million.
That's awesome.
So, according to my Twitch
chat, the most reliable source on the internet,
they'll still be... As reliable the internet, they'll still be highlights on YouTube.
I don't know if that's true or not.
If it is, I think it's smart, right?
Heck, when I did my channel,
I had a Facebook page that I would post to.
I was on Twitter a lot engaging with people.
And all those things were just designed
to be a little web
that would attract you to my YouTube channel, right?
You know, a thing to keep people engaged.
Maybe some guy sees me on Twitter or Facebook
that wouldn't have otherwise caught my new video.
They'd be smart to put it on YouTube.
And that could be a funnel that leads people
who are interested in his show into Spotify.
Because for me, I mean,
I don't know what their new platform will be like,
but the Jerry show ends as soon as he leaves YouTube.
For me.
I don't see myself changing platforms
to follow him over there.
If he's not doing,
I watch more Jerry highlights
than I watched the full show from beginning to end.
And if the highlights aren't on YouTube anymore,
then he leaves my universe
i watch the whole show i spent i picked the guests that i like and i watch those if it's
someone i've never heard of or someone i dislike which happens occasionally i skip over those but
i probably watch 30 40 percent of his shows in their entirety in video format so i'll head on
over spotify you know like why not yeah i mean it's not like i don't have to
it's not like i'm gonna walk across town or something i just type at spotify is there you
know what i mean yeah so yeah great for him though it sounds like he's getting getting like a
fucking stern type deal 100 million dollars that's yeah not only is that like stern he's way bigger
than stern at this point in time yeah but i feel I feel like Spotify is getting a Stern type deal.
I think that Sirius, is it Sirius?
You know, their platform was amazingly supported by Stern.
There are certain people who would pay $10 a month for Stern.
Kyle, okay.
Like, if you took Stern off of Sirius, I think a lot of people would leave Sirius.
And I don't know what the numbers are.
They're from my head.
But maybe a quarter or a third of their viewer base would not find it worth the money had it not been for Stern.
And Spotify may get a similar situation with Rogan.
He might make that platform the one that Apple can't compete with or the one that Pandora can't compete with.
It's the one that has JRE.
I'm super happy for him.
That's awesome.
That's an enormous amount of money.
He was already making millions and millions a year,
but this is a gigantic amount of money
that he just has made.
Invest in isolation tanks and fucking...
He can start his own UFC.
Head polish
and kettlebells.
Here's what I think.
I think JRE nailed the timing of it.
I like his show
and I think I like Joe Rogan.
I'm cool with that. But I also think he's at
the peak of his bell curve.
I think that there's a lot of people
who have seen it enough.
His Reddit's turned against him you know they're all it's like you could if i told you what the topic is i'd tell
you how joe will respond to it and what he'll say uh they're picking him apart like the tides are
turning a little bit on the uh unchecked fanaticism that he had two years ago. And he's selling, I think, at the top of his bell curve.
I could be wrong.
I often predict these things too early.
You know, I predict that because Russia wouldn't last past pumpkin season.
So, I don't know what he'll do after pumpkin stops selling.
That's the whole point of his channel.
It'd be funny if Kyle bought into that too.
He's like,
we want to sign you to do the AA12 video.
For the last time, this is about pumpkin.
This is pumpkin channel.
I'm negotiating in the accent.
We're going to pay you $400,000 for this.
Kyle, please just do it for me.
Just one video, not about pumpkin.
If there's no artistic...
Now he's doing different accents.
If there's no artistic integrity to pumpkin
channel i am done right but i wonder what about squash kyle that is not specific type of pumpkin
i wonder if anyone else listening to this sees the same like writing on the wall that i do or
perhaps i'm crazy i'm alluding to something i think he's getting his i think he's getting more
and more a-list guests.
I think he's only getting bigger as it goes.
And I think his subreddit has a little fun with him.
But I think that they are less than 1% of his total fan base.
If anything, people hate Brendan Schwab.
Yes.
Well, Brendan Schwab's show is growing too.
He should sell.
I mean, I'm sure that if Rogan can get him on Spotify, somehow he will.
He'll get some sort of junior deal.
I need to be Rogan's.
I want to get on the Rogan gravy train, right?
Ah, you just got to just agree with everything he says and be 240 pounds.
I can do that.
That's actually brilliant.
I just keep eating and agree with everything I'm practicing now.
I do dislike Schaub quite a bit.
Yeah.
Well, he just never has anything original to say.
And when he's on there with Rogan, he's just –
everything he says is just like, absolutely, definitely, oh, yeah.
We're going to be like – Coca-Cola is the best soda.
And Schaub will instantly be like they're coca-cola is the best soda and and and schaub will instantly be like the best
all he said all he does is amplify everything rogan says in every single situation the you
could you could find the times that they've disagreed on something and then rogan didn't
change schaub's mind by the end of the discussion on one hand like it never happened i see a lot of
that and i was going to describe it in a similar way.
I don't think Schwab's job, I think, is very insightful.
Like, he doesn't bring his own thoughts and opinions very often.
He just...
Shocking.
He looks so intellectual.
Well, Joe doesn't look intellectual, but he is.
His background of being punched in the head.
I could say that about Rogan, but Rogan somehow...
He's like a professional communicator meathead.
And that brings these two parallel aspects to all the, he's intellectually curious.
And he brings that to every conversation and it can make for some great conversations.
Joe's good at his job.
I would say that Joe is successful because, well, he's got the reach of anyone at this point.
Kyle's good. I would say that Joe is successful because, well, he's got the reach of anyone at this point. Kyle's right. Like that's I also think Joe is more likely to trend up than down because at this point, like like he's having president, not like jokey presidential candidates like Bernie, like real presidential candidates on there.
And they're getting real reach out of it. I wish he'd get Biden.
Oh, that would be hilarious if he could get biden biden and trump same time it's a secret setup
neither one knows the other one's coming that's that would be great i'd listen to that one i don't
listen to that much joe rogan uh but his his skill isn't that he's insightful it's that he's
inquisitive like he's got a million different questions for every person that comes on there
and he seems genuinely interested from what i've heard. A lot of times with the questions that I
have, and I feel like a professional interviewer, some guy on fucking Dateline or ABC, they wouldn't
ask the questions that I want to know. That's a bunch of nonsense. Rogan asks questions, and I'm
like, yeah, yeah, what about that? When he asked Elon Musk, so how long before we're flying? How
long before I can mentally control a rat and send it to do my bidding yeah see stuff like or like the dinosaur thing he did a while
back there's that clip where like he had some paleontologist on i've watched it was like a
half hour clip from probably five years ago and joe brings up like so uh like the way a normal
interviewer would do it would be like so all these people saying dinosaurs don't exist that's simply
silliness correct and then that guy would be like absolutely we have so much evidence
of preponderance of it there's no reason to even address it joe's like no no i want to spend like
half an hour pull up that guy who says that like raptors are made up yeah all right we're gonna
watch this whole thing and you're gonna make fun of it perfect i guess this is what i wanted to
watch like i want you to watch 30 minutes of a man mocking your life's journey and then have you respond
live on camera let's go and by the time they've like watched the clip the pale intelligence is
like all right well I'm fucking livid all right first of all that guy is a communist just so you
know like just like personal attacks on this guy and like breaking down why this other guy's a
piece of shit yeah I love those episodes that that guy uh has been on with graham hancock the the the guy who
has the theory about the um the ancient civilizations being killed by the uh the comet
and uh and all that shit so that they fit in well together because one can speak on um soil samples
and fossilization records and stuff like that. And the other can speak on archaeological evidence
and they can kind of go back and forth
and paint a really cool picture.
Yeah, I love the show.
I like when he's got space nerds on there
and he's got fucking industry leaders
and politicians, comedians, MMA fighters.
It's like, these are a few of my favorite things.
Like, I like all that shit.
You know why I want Biden on his show?
I want to see him in long form, right?
Like, Joe's gone crazy about how biden is this uh headed into the woods at night with a flashlight with
dying batteries right yeah that's the joe biden analogy and you say it's true it i want to see
it in long form joe biden did a two-hour debate with bernie sanders and looked perfectly fine
the entire time there were no gaffes there were no problems, right? Only if you watch his
highlights on Twitter and take your views from there
do you think that this guy is a
gaffe machine.
You could do the same thing to Trump, but people don't.
I want to see him on the jury
in long form and see if
he fucks up or not. And that would give
me a better lens through which to
form an opinion on him than
what I've seen already, which is the more
structured, controlled
environments. Mr. Vice President,
would you please put this small puzzle together?
There are eight pieces.
I hung out with black kids in the
70s, too. That's great.
We know about the black children. You haven't even smoked yet, Joe.
You want to get high, Joe?
Well, one second.
Joe goes in the bathroom and calls the police.
Do that.
Have Joe talk about Joe Rogan.
Have Joe and Joe.
Wow, I just realized that.
Have them debate marijuana.
I saw Joe debate Steven Crowder on marijuana.
One of the few times I've seen him kind of heated.
And Rogan did a great job.
And Crowder talks about stuff like this for a living.
And Rogan held his own job. Crowder talks about stuff like this for a living and Rogan held his own if not one.
It's so funny that that would be
the thing that Rogan gets like
you don't
love pot! What do you mean you don't
love pot?
He didn't love pot legalization
and Joe was all for it.
He did an equally
good job back in the day
going back and forth with one of those espn
guys about um how about mixed martial arts and how it was human cock fighting versus boxing right
it was against the boxing fanatic yeah yeah that was early that was before the jre i think but yeah
yeah he's got all his hair yeah that's a while ago uh yeah i uh i'm really happy for him i'm
glad he's making all that money that's uh that's great
he'll be able to buy so much fucking elk meat oh my god he doesn't buy elk meat so uh according to
those totally unreliable net worth estimators online rogan was already worth like 40 or
40 30 or 40 million i'm trying to say yeah let's say this 100 million dollar deal is true
that adds i don't know 450 million to his net worth, right?
Like I'm trying to take out taxes.
Okay.
Whatever portion of people are.
Worst case scenario, he's getting $50.
My Twitch chat says Jamie gets 10%, so that's undeniable.
Okay.
Yeah, that's not true.
Yeah, the guy who sets the cameras up and Googles ridiculous things, he gets $10 million out of this.
Are you suggesting I misread it? Because I read it clearly. It was right there in the Twitch chat.
This would be like if we sold the show and all of a sudden Mitty Smitty had to get 8% out of it or something like that.
It's like, well, he does mod my chat occasionally. All right? Count that. Count that.
He plays a lot of games with Kyle. All right. Going back to PUBG.
Most reliable source on the internet.
I'm sorry,
Mitty,
but you probably don't get a percentage of the gross.
But anyway,
of that,
if he sells it for a hundred million,
let's assume that maybe half-ish actually lands in his bank account.
Maybe there's other partners.
I don't know.
Maybe more,
maybe two.
For you.
What does that do to his
life if he goes nothing worth 30 million to 90 nothing he's already got like he's already got
like a super nice house and he's already got his family established and he's got all the toys he
could want and he already does all of his favorite hobbies whenever he wants he already has a schedule
he makes himself nothing's's going to change.
Does it impact his motivation on the show?
Because now I feel like he's,
previous to the Spotify deal,
I feel like he's motivated by growth,
maybe by money, fate.
I don't know.
Something's motivating him to do like a... Well, there's a contract in place now.
There's probably a minimum amount of shows
per month or per year or per quarter. Yes he already knows the money amount right so like let's say i'm a big time
twitch streamer i go to mixer and they say woody you get paid this much and you have to stream 20
hours a week i'm like fuck doesn't say shit in here about how popular i am so i start streaming i don't know the lowest
effort shit i can find my favorite instead of a popular game you know like like it will change
whatever motivates you because you already know that but he already does that he already like
puts on the shows that he loves true brendan shobb was the guest three shows ago all right like like
like he's he puts his friends on he puts people that he likes on tony hawk was the guest three shows ago. All right? Like, he puts his friends on.
He puts people that he likes on.
Tony Hawk was the guest today.
I don't think Tony Hawk's knocking any barn doors down with his popularity anymore.
He was.
Great point.
Yeah, I see where you're headed on this.
Joe already does what Joe wants to do.
That's why he's not on this show.
If Joe was desperate for popularity, we'd introduce him to 100,000 people or something, right? But Joe does what Joe wants to do. That's why he's not on this show. If Joe was desperate for popularity, we'd introduce him to
100,000 people or something, right?
But Joe does what Joe wants to do.
There's no...
If we were like, Joe, we'll give you 10 grand
to get you, he'd be like,
suck my dick.
What are we talking about, like three seconds of work?
Because I'll pop in and go, ha ha!
I don't think he would.
I don't think if we offered him $3 million,
he'd be willing to do something he doesn't want to do.
Right?
Like Kevin Smith tried to get him in a movie
for a little cameo for money, like a million or something.
I don't know the money amount.
And Joe was like, yeah, that's not something I want to do.
And Kevin Smith is like, that's so on brand for you.
Just to flip Kevin to the middle finger
and say I only do what I feel like doing. Well, that's a great brand for you just to flip kevin to the middle finger and say i only do what
i feel like doing that yeah well that's a great place to be yes like why less people are gonna
see whatever movie he decides to cameo in then we'll listen to a podcast he puts out or podcast
he puts out over the course of a month like not even close he's he is he's bigger than stern he's
bigger than everyone at this point.
Nobody holds a candle.
The only person I can think of with, like, big active listeners,
maybe Rush Limbaugh.
Rush Limbaugh is enormously popular.
Yeah, probably, like, Rush and Joe.
The people with nationally syndicated radio shows that go on daily.
It depends how you aggregate.
How many people are actually...
Like Sean Hannity does
his radio show and then his TV show at night.
Do we add both those numbers together even though
there's overlap? Do we even add them at all?
And then with
Stern, there really is no very accurate
way to determine his numbers. Last time
I checked, Sirius had around
35 or 40 million subscribers,
paying subscribers, mind you. Most of them are there for him. I know the only reason I was
paying for years was for him. It was only when his content shifted and became so lame.
I was paying really for the best ofs because they had the two channels. They had
Because they had the two channels.
They had Sirius 100 and 101.
And I believe on 101, it's all reruns going back to the 80s or something like that.
And I was listening to all of that. It took me three years to listen to his whole fucking catalog of shit.
Thousands and thousands of hours.
Every road trip, just playing out old Stern, best of Stern. And then
when you finally get through that catalog and get to like, all right, let's see what he's doing
today. It's like, ah, he's doing a really terrible interview with Charlize Theron. I don't, I don't
who cares about Charlize Theron. I mean, I would maybe if he interviewed her like the way he would
have interviewed her in 1993.
Right, got her to talk about her wedding night or masturbation or something.
Yeah.
I know she's got some big labia down there.
I always... The talk around
town is your labia.
If he was just a piece of shit to these celebrities,
that's what I enjoy. I think
I always enjoyed the sex questions and stuff,
but also that really treated
them with a lot of disrespect and disdain.
And you could tell that sometimes
they were not accustomed to that.
ONA had that same vibe of treating celebrities
kind of shitty, and it was nice.
I'm not saying you're wrong,
but I took a different vibe from it.
I feel like he got celebrities to open up
in a way they never would on any other platform.
I suspect we got the version of britney
spears that her friends got because howard just i don't know i don't want to say weasel dirt
slicked his way into making someone feel comfortable but that's maybe you get the
intent without the evil yeah he massages them and uh and when he he lulls them into complacency and
then he sort of hits them with those harder questions toward the end of the interview.
That's sort of his style.
But it's gotten less and less entertaining over the years to the point where I don't care about it anymore.
And I realized I hadn't turned it on in weeks and weeks.
And so I just stopped paying the bill.
So I like the Joe Rogan show, but I'm curious about Joe Rogan's story and how the Spotify changes it, if at all.
Right.
We've established he only does what he wants to do.
So he could just keep doing that.
Or I don't know.
Now, maybe there's better content now.
Maybe part of this is like, like maybe, maybe I'd love to see him do video of one of these
hunting trips that he goes on.
I'd love to see like a TV show that's, that's just his hunting
season, that it's him like packing up his gear at his house and his buddies are coming over to meet
with him and maybe throw in Brian Callen or Brennan Schaub and they're sort of a fish out of
water. And then they, you know, they fly out to Alberta or wherever the fuck and get their gear
and meet with the guide and, and and and go through a whole hunting season including
like whatever they're doing when they get back to the lodge and the butchering of the meat and the
cooking and the hunting and the eating and the bullshitting might be i'd like to see all that
but you know where where that falls off brand i don't think he wants to do that i don't think he
wants to share that like i feel like joe's like that's my me time and he's done something like
that before called shooting the Shit or something like that,
where it was like him and Brian Callen out hunting.
But I want something really in-depth.
Yeah, to a meat eater or something.
Yeah, something like that.
But I want something that's more about him and really following right on his shoulder like a parrot.
I'd like to get more into his life.
I'd like to know about his home life.
I'd like to see his garage full of cars the way they do with jay leno and yeah that's a big car
guy he is yeah he's super into cars he bought a quarter million dollar tesla because and he's like
you know elon did me a favor coming on the show so i bought a tesla and you know kind of hit it
back it's like if elon comes on this show, I still can't buy that Tesla.
Oh, come on.
You get the free at least.
But I want to continue not to work.
I don't want to.
Joe can do both.
Yeah.
Oh, go ahead, Kyle.
I was going to say, I'm going to get that Tesla truck next year, I think.
It's between that Tesla truck or a new Camaro.
I haven't decided.
It also depends on where you live, mate.
In my head, I'm like, if you go to a place that snows,
the Camaro might be the wrong choice.
I know.
That's what's in my head as well.
You might need two cars, Kyle.
You might have a two-car problem.
You know, we could make that happen too.
But in any case, very happy for joe rogan very cool
stuff yeah yeah i've got nothing but love for him and curiosity for his story right like i'm probably
a lot of people do this but you know just like i i'm interested chael sun is another great one
right i've enjoyed watching chael sun in's life arc since I started following him
I don't know 10 years ago
whatever it was
I find it interesting
he has this opportunity magnet
of a YouTube channel now
where he talks about MMA things
and I wonder where that takes him
does it make him an ESPN broadcaster going forward
does it give him a job like Daniel Cormier's
does he become the next Dana White
like where's jail
sonnen's career arc is super fascinating to me and i i like to hear him do his thing you want
to talk about it's a trt clinic he'd be a good spokesman for that oh i i do want to talk about
um his thing but but look i'll send you a link what he this this is something that maybe you
and i will really appreciate and and maybe i shouldn't even do it right now, but
look. Vitor Belfort
posted this.
Did you see this? No,
I didn't see it. He says
happy birthday. Let's go one more time
for another adventure. This time will be the
first dance along with
the last dance, the beginning of a new journey.
Stay tuned for more news. The
phenom is going to reinvent himself one more time team run together
trt is like like separated out with with hyphens
you uh you can't i'm showing everyone this picture it doesn't demonstrate that he how much
he's regained his form so if you don't know
this guy was on steroids at like 19 i think he was a ufc champion if not he was very close to it
maybe lost a champion bout and um then you know he had all the natural career arc then trt vitor
came and that guy just ran through the middleweight division. He was fierce. The only guy that could beat him was the TRT Anderson
Silva, actually.
And he just
battled everyone. Then he got caught
for steroids. Again, he's a repeat
offender for getting busted.
Did they catch him, or maybe they banned
it? No, they changed the testing.
It was always banned,
but he had a therapeutic use exception,
I think. And he just took way more than he needed.
Well, there's a difference between steroids and TRT, right?
So the reason he needed TRT is because he had abused steroids early in his life,
and now his body's not producing even an adequate amount of testosterone.
So when they start testing, he really goes downhill as an athlete,
not even where he would be before he started using performance-enhancing drugs.
So they allowed for testosterone replacement therapy which is legitimate therapy he needed it
although they were definitely giving him more than he needed they juiced him to the fucking gills
they were pumping so much tea into this man his levels had to be over a thousand fifteen hundred
or something and he came back in and smashed once again for years and then they made it illegal again and then you saw his physique completely
declined and now he seems to be indicating that he's back with the drt this picture that was on
the screen for a while and he's wearing a shirt so you can't tell but i've seen other recent
vitor pictures and i mean, he looks great.
This guy responds well to steroids.
I think most people do.
Yeah, I haven't heard anyone who doesn't.
Oh, I guess people die.
Wow, they abuse them.
Yes, yes, yes.
More Plates, More Dates did a video,
call it last week or something.
And this guy died at 50-something. And he was like one of the proponents of sustainable steroid use. You know, like he didn't go bonkers like
bodybuilders can. He was just like, this is how I do my steroids. This is, I take my gear. I mean,
he's not lying about it. And, um, but he didn't go over the top crazy about it.
My impression of the video is that it hit Derek, right? More plates, more dates, kind of
hard because he's like, fuck, this
guy was about doing it right and he still lived to his
50s. He talked about his dose the other day.
I watch his channel occasionally too he's only
taking 125 milligrams a week yeah he is a even though he he must i i would describe him as a
hyper responder but i don't know what the fuck i'm talking about but even though he looks like
a jacked super strong guy his dosage is under control. You know, he's not doing anything crazy if you just go by his dosage compared to other
people's.
And he often advocates like, you know, you're taking too much.
You don't need that much to look good.
Yeah.
Yeah.
He doesn't take that much at all.
Yeah.
You got a child molester here, Taylor?
Get a little Chomo action?
Yes.
So there's a story out of uh
what is this the tampa bay tb as soon as tampa bay daily news so title the article alternative
school teacher confesses to murdering sex offender on community facebook page after
seeing him try to lure children and so the guy on the left here the hero when you look to the
side your mic's not in front of you can Can you adjust it? Oh, sorry. Yeah.
So the hero on the left, looking pretty fit,
is the one who murdered that ghoulish Mario pedophile creep on the right.
And he was so... Scroll down on that,
and you'll see a post from Matteo Condolucci
looking absolutely like he's heading to the yearly pedophile awards.
Look at his mustache.
Oh, no.
He just says, hi, my name is Matt.
I am from Buffalo, too.
Clearly writing that to a child.
But basically, this guy had been caught fucking around with kids.
And he started doing a youth outreach ministry
thing targeting children get it with the priest get up on yeah yeah yeah well because he was
running stuff where he's like oh he wrote this he's like my name is reverend matthew condolucci
i am the founder of disciples for christ street ministry the purpose of this ministry is to help
the needy in our community i work with the homeless and the needy families to provide
them with food clothing and the other essentials that are needed
for their everyday living.
Put a couple periods in there, run on.
I receive a lot of my donations
from different stores in the community.
There's a tireless effort and demands
a lot of attention and hard work.
And basically, food, homelessness, all that.
And it shows him cutting a young child's hair there.
And he's clearly luring in children.
Giving back to the community. Giving back to the community.
Okay.
Giving back to the community.
And this,
this guy,
what was his name?
James Fairbanks,
the guy who took care of business,
wrote on Facebook.
The murderer?
Yes.
Well,
we'll see.
You are right.
He did murder him.
But he wrote,
dear media,
I am writing,
this is a Facebook community page dear media i'm writing
this email to let you know that i killed mateo condolucci thursday may 14th around 9 45 p.m
while out apartment searching and checking the neighborhood i wanted to live in i stumbled
across his sex offender registry info i read where he had molested raped two children and
been convicted twice yet only served two years in prison.
Four, all caps, RAPING CHILDREN! I seen his address was right around the block from where I was looking to move. I drive by into my horror. He was standing in his driveway,
pretending to wash his truck. No soap or water, just a rag, while staring at a group of children
playing in the street. I watched him for a few minutes and just felt sick to my stomach.
He just kept staring at them. The kids thankfully left and he went inside.
I went to drive away and noticed to my amazement
this twice convicted sex offender had a playground set in his backyard.
No fence, just a slide in a playhouse.
I felt sick to my stomach.
Having my own experience with these type of predators,
I knew the damage he would do to those kids.
It agonized me for days.
I couldn't sleep.
I researched him more and more
and found that he'd victimized dozens of kids in different states.
One kid's mother had created a predator Facebook page about him trying to warn people about him.
Her son had been assaulted by him when he was five, and the damage he did led the poor guy to die of a drug overdose years later, and his mom directly blamed that incident on him.
I've worked with kids for years who have been victimized, and I couldn't in good conscience allow them to continue to do it to anyone else while i had the means to stop him i'm willing to turn myself in even though i'm confident i wouldn't be caught because it's my
opinion that we need to fix this in our society we cannot let this continue to happen to our
children they must be stopped i know in this messed up judicial system that means i will face
far more severe punishment for stopping him than he did for raping kids but i could no longer do
nothing so this guy read the next part thank you whoever are whoever you are that killed
that man pedas deserve nothing but death you're welcome you're right that was a good one and it
shows him in his picture he replied to comments yeah he said the guy said thank you for killing
that pedophile and he said you're welcome he replied to comments
that means he posted that and then sat there
looking at his murder contention
replying
oh you're welcome
I'm just saying this guy's in the contention
for cool guy of the week
he's quoting C.S. Lewis
yeah he's quoting C.S. Lewis
in the words of C.S. Lewis fuck up Lewis. You can't go back and change the beginning.
Fuck up, pedophile.
You can't go back and change the beginning, but you can start where you are and change the ending.
That's what C.S. Lewis meant.
Right between the Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe and the fucking rest, he was talking about murdering pedophiles.
So, yeah, good for that guy.
Is it?
A little bit of street.
Well, I mean, it's more fun. Did he die?
Oh, yeah, he killed. No, the ped that guy. Is it? A little bit of street. Well, I mean, it's more fun. Did he die? Oh, yeah.
He killed.
No, the pedophile slayer didn't die.
He killed the pedophile.
What is?
Okay, someone dies.
Anthony Smith dies.
I'm confused.
Oh, I thought that was like a different ad.
I could be wrong.
Or maybe, oh, that's the kid that was probably molested when he was little and died of a drug overdose.
Okay, okay.
That would be my guess.
I think you're right. Look at that terrible
online memorial
with his stupid...
Are there supposed to be angel wings?
Yeah. It's a lovely
online memorial. God, I hope you don't...
Don't we all hope that doesn't happen to us
when we die that nobody makes some shitty
Photoshop like this?
God damn it, it dude now if one
of us dies this is gonna be all over i know i didn't want to say it and and lock it in but now
we have because you know you're going first i don't even think yeah right do i even have to die
i'm not any good at photoshop but i guarantee i can knock that out
let's have have horrible washed out
photos of us with angel wings.
It won't even be a circle.
Kyle will just square me on the middle.
Those purple feathered angel wings.
Good God.
Dude, anybody who does that,
I'm going to haunt you.
I'd love a haunting.
They'll pay a million dollars for actual proof of paranormal activity.
Who?
That guy.
He's had that challenge for years.
No, there's an actual guy who's had that challenge for years.
Oh, James Randy is his name.
There's an old ONA video that I watched of him.
And this guy, James Randy, he might be dead now.
I don't even know but he was so old that it like he was being interviewed and like flashback to a clip of him
from like 1971 and he's old as shit in 1971 and it was this like you know gong show fucking nonsense
and this you know mystical uh adam comes out in his parachute pants and his Aladdin hat and his jingling things.
And it wasn't like modern day.
It was like they would set these people up to get humiliated.
Now it feels like if someone goes on Jimmy Fallon and they're like,
Oh, Mr. Pratt, someone's here from your high school and they've got a funny story to tell.
And Chris Pratt will be like, oh, my goodness.
Is it Johnny?
Johnny, get out here.
And it's clearly scripted, like clearly set up.
This was before they do that.
And it was this TV show, very popular.
And this guy's whole business, his livelihood for himself, his family,
his wife, his kids, is being a magic man.
And his big claim to fame was like he lays open a phone book
and he lays it on a table and he goes like looks at it with focus squatting down looking directly
kind of right at it and he goes and then a couple pages turn and everybody's oh wow oh my god oh my
god and he and the guy the magic man stands up and he has no idea anything's
coming and the host of the show's like wow you didn't lie that was really impressive let's give
another hand for magic man another hand for magic man now something we didn't tell you prior to the
show i'm sure you're familiar with james randy now james makes his makes his bones going around
the country challenging anyone to prove that magic exists now for you that would be no problem at all
no problem at all i That would be no problem
at all. I'm happy to do it in front of all.
We got a surprise! Mr. Randy!
Come on out!
He comes out, and all that James Randy does is, like,
say, the guy asks,
so, I think we just saw pretty convincing
evidence of spiritual power
here, Mr. Randy. What do you say to that?
And this old man's like,
actually, I would contend that it was nothing
more than Mr. Magic Man
blowing through his nose onto
the page as he did the theatrics.
And how do you plan to prove this, Mr. Randy?
Well, with this bag of packing
peanuts, I will lay it around
the
phone book, and we will see
movement in there if there
is some sort of blowing action
and this guy gets down and it doesn't show it in the clip but for almost two hours
this guy's two hours for like he was hoping they would just cancel the show
another time and they're all staring at him like we're waiting yeah they're waiting for
him and in the video and a from years ago when jim was reacting to this he had a funny line where he
was like do you think at any moment the magic man is sitting there like what if i actually can do
this trying to will that page over and in in the end, the guy just goes to the
energy, the problems,
it's the circular
air in here that's causing it to
push down. See? It's just
pushing the page right back down, the static
electricity. And then he picks up
a page and drops it and it goes the
correct way. And he pulls it back
the wrong way. It humiliated
his whole life ruined
he probably had to go you know be a forklift operator after that but very very funny clip
very funny one james video and hey yeah yeah so if you could haunt me i'll call james up and
i mean it'd be worth you dying if i die before james randy that's gonna be so embarrassing
how old is this bitch he's got. I think he might be dead.
He is 91.
Holy shit.
And he looks every day of it.
He looked every day of it 40 years ago.
There's no telling.
Do you ever do that on Wikipedia pages where you'll go through and you'll look at the oldest people to have ever lived?
I think the oldest one is Jean Calment, some some french lady 122 or so but hers has come into
question i think this japanese bitch at like 118 119 is the current ruler but who knows and do you
ever think like just going through their life like if someone were to come up to them at the age of 61
and be like hey you're halfway there do you think they'd be like oh there's no, you're halfway there. You'd think they'd be like, oh, there's no way
I'm halfway there already. My joints
hurt.
Everyone I love
is already dead.
Dude, your grandchildren
are dying of old age when you're
118.
Your grandchildren are dead.
They'd be about 40 years younger, which would put them
in 178.
Yeah.
78, not 178.
Okay, Bilbo Baggins.
God, no, but I get your point.
Yeah, if you're 120,
your kids are probably
need to be like 95.
Their kids need to be like 75 or 80.
I mean, let's hope longevity runs in the family or
you're going to a lot of funerals for my next twitch stream i'm just going to do math in my
head for four hours should be fucking hilarious so like five or six problems i'll get two or three
right i finished all of gta5 oh one of the most fun games I've ever played.
I can't believe I didn't play that before.
You want to multiplayer?
Taylor Merck on Twitch.
Last time I shouted it out on here, a lot of people joined.
I haven't done multiplayer yet.
Next, I'm not sure what game I'm going to play.
I remembered I downloaded months and months and months ago
that second South Park game.
I might try that out.
I also got Red Dead Redemption 2 Bully,
which is a rock star game that's apparently very funny
where you're a bully in an elementary school.
You'll like Red Dead. It's a triple A.
Just super, super good game.
I want to see it on multiplayer. That's where
a lot of extreme shit comes from.
Maybe it's too hard, right? I want to be like,
I want to see Taylor on multiplayer. Take his car
and land on the top of the Eiffel Tower.
Maybe that's like 600 hours
of trying to make that video and it's a dumb idea.
Oh, I upset so many
people throughout those
streams with my flying.
Just really trying to land those
planes and just
really not doing a good job.
I did a Mail Monday
episode with GTA and
I upset people because
it was just footage of me obeying every traffic law
through the whole video stopping at every red light only making i couldn't watch it red
i i did like i stole a lamborghini and i upgraded it and then i liked driving by bus stations and
making fun of bus people i'm like you're a fucking loser bitch then speed out maybe kill one of them
too let them know that i'm above the law you feel like a big man i like just going on rampages in those games like well i liked trevor
you know the guy who just smokes a bunch of meth and his special ability is meth rampage
that's i don't know anything about that game um i'm pretty sure i played san andreas i don't even
know if i played five i probably did but i don't remember but uh but when i did play a ton of it
on playstation i like to go on Rampages,
just watch those stars get more and more and more
and just see how long you can survive.
It was like an early version of like Horde mode
or zombies or something.
I did like as the game starts out with you like,
all right, we're going to boost this car
and make like five grand.
And like three hours later, it's like,
we're planting bombs at the foot of the Pentagon.
The government's never going to find out because we're hitting the Bank of America corporate building across the way.
Now, make sure you kill every cop in California.
That's great.
Yeah, lots of lots of fun.
I had playing that game.
So I'm looking forward to whatever I decide to stream next.
Kyle, probably most people haven't seen PKN.
Eye Story?
They must be curious. They've been watching you for
two hours now or two and a half.
It's a little black, I guess.
A little swollen.
Looking back, I saw it a couple days ago already.
It was Tuesday
and today's Thursday.
I had to get this,
I had a mole like right on the edge of my eyelid. It was really small. I told them it looked like there was a booger on my eyelid and it was just unsightly. I didn't like how it looked.
And I've been wanting to get it off for a while, but I procrastinate things like that. There's a
lot of steps you got to, you know, you got to get, I had to go to, I had to get one doctor,
which is kind of a problem. And then he has to refer me to a specialist but anyway i went and uh it was a very painful
ordeal uh they gave me a uh valium which i don't even know what the fucking point of that was to
relax me i guess like i wasn't nervous wait did you like it i mean i loved it but it didn't kick
in until right about the time i got back home like like i was high all afternoon oh no yeah i've had a bunch of surgeries and they give you that
what do they give you fentanyl is that what they give you i would not no i don't think so but but
this is a pill you know this is just a benzodiazepine this is in the iv and i really am a
fan no i um i want to do this as cheaply as possible.
And they asked if I wanted an anesthesiologist on board.
And I'm like, well, what's he going to do?
Is he going to give me gas or intravenous medications?
No, no, no.
He'll just watch us do what we were already going to do.
And I was like, well, fuck that.
Let's save $2,000 here.
Because the whole thing was a grand.
I think it was like $400 for the doc and $600 for the ancillaries.
But anyway, it was more painful than I ever thought it was going to be.
Because they just...
They put some numbing drops in my eyeball.
But that was just so that they could put a Q-tip under my eyelid and roll my eyelid back.
And it wouldn't be so uncomfortable.
And then they put two shots of lidocaine
directly into my fucking eyelid and that hurt too right burned right that's what hurt that hurt
a lot anesthesiologists suck man mine comes i didn't have an anesthesia he's like hey woody
i'm dr steve i'll be your bartender for the day and i'm like steve you seem cool you and i gotta
get along i didn't have an anesthesiologist.
I just had the doctor and he shot two shots
of lidocaine into my eyelid. I misunderstood the story.
There was a guy there who was going to do
with me. No, no. They offered an anesthesiologist
and I said, well, what's he going to do?
Is he going to give me
some drugs? They're like, no, no, no.
He's going to watch us and monitor
your blood pressure. And I'm like,
fuck that. That's like two grand wasted money.
Like, no, I don't want an anesthesiologist.
So the doctor shot two shots of lidocaine just into my fucking eyelid.
And it hurt so much.
Like I didn't scream or anything, but my toes curled in my,
in my shoes and like my hands were crossed on my chest or whatever.
And they were just kind of like gripping each other.
And after each shot, I just went, hmm, that really hurt, you know?
He's like, oh, I bet it did.
And but he had the thing cut off there in 60 seconds.
And then I had this huge eye patch on with like masking tape and gauze that I wore about for about half the day.
And then I wore sunglasses on the show the other day
because my eye was just so fucked up.
But yeah, it's already healing.
I'm on antibiotics and some antibiotic ointment.
By next week, it'll all be healed up.
I'm glad I did it because it was annoying.
I didn't like looking at it.
I've had maybe a dozen surgeries,
and at this point, I'm good at it.
Woody, how you doing?
I'm scared. i have to do
this but i wish i wasn't here uh i i'm a thrower upper they called me the up trucker back in high
school and uh i don't know everything kind of hurts a little maybe you can help me with something
they're like oh yeah we got a cocktail for you we could solve all that shit it's i would have
loved some hard drugs i would have loved some fucking uh some morphine or some tylenol three
or some codeine or anything to really fuck me up but anything but one valium yeah the volume was
so worthless it was so worthless because i got there maybe five, 10 minutes late. And I think maybe if I'd had,
I don't know,
it really didn't kick in until like I was getting home.
Like,
like I said,
I,
that,
that picture I sent you where my,
like,
if you look at my,
my good eye,
it's all droopy.
And I sent it to my dad too.
And he's just like,
you look kind of fucked up.
I was like,
I kind of am.
That volume was good.
That was a big one.
I forgot you were having that thing
taken off your eye because all you
texted us that morning was just a picture
from your vantage point laying in a hospital
bed in the room and I was like, oh no!
Oh my god, I hope Kyle's okay.
And then he's like, yeah, getting this thing off my eye.
I was like, oh yeah, fuck. He's not dying.
Yeah, I like to do that to people.
Send a troubling photo
with no commentary. Send the photo and then just give it that to people. Yeah. A troubling photo with no commentary.
Send the photo and then just give it half an hour.
Yeah.
Well, I'm glad it worked out.
I'm just saying, last time, not last time, two surgeries ago, I did that whole thing.
You know, they made me feel happy.
I'm telling the nurses, like, man, you guys got an iPhone charger around here? I'd love it if I came out of surgery with a fully charged phone.
They're happy to help.
Just be grateful.
These people are in,
not everyone's nice at the hospital.
And if you are,
they're happy to charge your phone.
Someone's got an iPhone charger in the hospital.
And I was away from home.
It was a big deal.
I was like, man,
this thing's my lifeline to my wife.
I've been talking to her.
She's nervous.
If I came out of this surgery and the phone was all charged up,
that'd mean a lot to me.
They got me.
Yeah.
I'm really happy I finally got that done.
Like I said, it was really annoying me.
I hated it.
I hated that thing.
Every time I looked in the mirror, I was like,
ah, there's a booger on your eyelid.
You got to get that off.
And it's right in your eye.
You can't see anything but it.
I couldn't see it like out of my eye.
I could just see it in the mirror.
For what we told you this before, I never saw it.
I see you five hours a week.
Yeah, you got to be really close to see it.
Like it's, I mean, it was literally, I don't even know what else to describe it as, as
like the size of a booger.
Like I don't have an object on my desk that's as small as this thing was, but it was ugly
and it needed to go.
And it was like a low grade cancer scare maybe or just was cosmetic no no because there were eyelashes growing through it which the doctor said was a good sign as far as that goes i had
that one removed from my side a few weeks ago that i that i showed you that was like four stitches
and uh that one was a a cancer scare for sure when i first came back that
it was nothing right negative yeah no yeah when i first met jackie she had a big mole like right
i'm covering with my like right here ish like under her neck on like the top of her
just under her throat and it was a little unsightly i felt like it dropped her a point
and it was like all right you know we can we can be a thing but get that
fixed right you know and you ever feel tempted when you're like making out or whatever just
i think i gotta say what that's one of the most alpha things you've ever seen
we're working out okay but yeah we're gonna we're gonna give that the the old
snip right we're gonna take care of that her parents i think we're a we're gonna give that the the old yeah a snip right we're gonna take care of that
her parents i think were a little bit like what he doesn't love you the way you are
no he was concerned about cancer he pulled out his leather man
it was like yeah it was melanoma sawing it off it was 15 cancer risk that much is true
the other 85 was cosmetic yeah yeah that's gotta go yeah i don't
like those unsightly moles um i when i whenever i see like it seems like black people get them a
lot on their face like like like they'll have like a bunch of them morgan and i'm just like
no those are freckles but i've seen black people like lots of little ones all over their face and
stuff and i'm just like ah ah, come on, chief.
Oh, like skin tag looking things?
Yeah, I guess. I don't know.
Anything like that, I get cut off.
What causes those skin tags?
Homosexuality.
Old people. Oh, really?
Yeah. My preacher told me that.
He was riddled with them, so it was weird.
One time when I was younger,
now this is what God's done to me.
One cock, and look at me now.
Those things are very unsightly.
And they seem like they're so easy just to get taken care of.
Yeah.
Both of these little things I've had removed in the last month or so,
I've been shocked at how good the doctors were at their jobs.
This last guy was a plastic surgeon
that deals with the eyes specifically. The one before
that, he's like 60 years old, but he's like a
I don't remember the exact phraseology of it, but
he was like a dermatological cancer
doctor.
It was something.
Plastic surgeon was in his background,
but it was specifically with some sorts.
I don't know, but he was more than equipped to cut a fucking mole off of my
side.
I'm so glad to get that one going
because every now and then, I go to scratch my side
and I nip it with my fingernail.
I'm like, ah, that thing's there.
Fuck. That's going too now so i'm kind of cool professionals are i worked at the accounting
firm the oral surgeon removes someone's wisdom teeth and uh they were like this is like a 1040
to him it is now you have to know how good these guys are at 1040s 1040s individual tax return for
americans you know the audience might not.
And everyone
I work with could name, and there's like, I don't know,
87 lines on the first two pages.
They could tell you what they all were.
Every single one of them and all the subsets.
They know so much about taxes.
It's like, yeah,
that level of expertise exists
when someone does it 40 hours a week
for year after year our whole life
basically yeah yeah i was uh i'm glad i got that thing taken care of though uh let me do an ad read
okay yes get the last one done as soon as i open my chrome up it's this guy's horrible horrible
memorial picture again god that's embarrassing support for today's episode of Painkiller Ready comes from the University of Colorado Boulder,
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That's Colorado dot edu slash grad programs.
If I were looking for a grad program, I promise you it'd be one right at the foot of the Rocky Mountains.
Yeah, that sounds awesome.
I'm going to be getting a few degrees in a year or two, myself.
Put some work in, upgrade the rest of your life.
Yeah. Aerospace,
probably. Something like that.
What a great place to live.
So much stuff to do there. It's such a great
place to live. It is.
Every time I go, i'm sad when i
leave ski you're missing out on half the on half the fun i don't know what you're into the skiing
thing like like like like it's you act like i'm the only one that appreciates colorado skiing
you're the weird one here i it's not we've been through this 50 fucking times i can't 50 fucking
times this is like me this is this would be like this
would be like you talking to a black guy like before before the color barrier was broken like
what you don't like baseball what's your problem come on let me throw you a few pitches oh you're
really good why don't you play oh and then a week later being like hey why don't you play baseball and then a
week later you should play baseball i can't i can't all right it was my dream you wouldn't
it was my dream is that what you want to hear is that what you want to hear
are you sure your ankles are weak or it's in the 90s watching something to do with the bone
like just wearing the boots hurts.
It doesn't even matter if I stand.
Just them clamping on my ankle.
Very painful.
Skateboarding would be your speed.
I could probably snowboard, but I have no skateboarding experience.
Seems like sledding is my sport.
Sledding is a lot of fun.
I would be happy to ski alongside you while you sled.
That would be hilarious
it's like
you know this has no steering and no brakes right
every time you're just at the bottom
of the run and we get down in
8 seconds and then we look up and Kyle's
like beelining like a laser
for a tweet
on just a disc going off the side
usually they're little half-pipey
shaped to keep you in. I want one of those
Olympic bobsleds that
I'm inside of with one of those
helmets that's shaped like a fucking penis
in the back. Super
aerodynamic.
You see those people die at that one Olympics?
Yeah. Because they got going so
fast and they launched out of it. It's called
the skeleton. They're barely on anything yeah that's a very the risk reward of that sport is zero what is it
there's a luge a skeleton and a bobsled right are those three different things yes is head back feet
going first skeleton is head first feet are back but you're barely on anything. And the bobsled, it's when you've got a bunch of guys,
at least two, jumping, running, pushing that thing,
and then jumping in.
Yeah.
Yeah, it's funny that that bobsled,
like, for a lot of the people,
all they do is run and jump in,
and then they're a passenger going forward.
So, like, I think the american team at one
year got herschel walker to join this elite athlete football player and they're like you
know all you have to do is fucking push for a little bit and then hop in the back and don't
be an asshole and and like it really helped him am i right about that let me see if it's
that's hilarious if it's true because herschelel Walker is probably one of the biggest genetic freaks in human fucking history.
That man was fighting in Strike Force
at like 52.
And killing people.
Let me show you what Herschel Walker
looked like in his early 50s.
Wow, he played a lot. He was in the 1992 Winter Olympics on the US bobsled team.
Look at this man.
Did he place? Did they medal?
Well, he killed
the Swedish team and after that
everyone else just backed out.
50? 48.
Good God. So next year
I'll probably look like that.
Because that's what 48
year olds look like. Yeah.
You really bloom in your
late 40s. If I keep dying
in Tarkov, this is coming.
Jesus Christ. He is shredded.
Look at him. That's a
totally clean 40.
It is. He was always like that.
He looks pretty good.
He's from Georgia.
I'm like 99% sure.
Where did he go to high school?
I think it's near me.
Well, good for that guy.
Jesus.
That's pretty sick.
Johnson County in Wrightsville, Georgia.
He went to high school.
Is that close to you?
Close-ish.
I'm trying to see exactly how far.
I hired these fucking retards that ended up...
Or no, I made a mistake.
I went on Home Advisor.
A couple hours.
And was like, all right, I just want to get a couple people
that will come and mow my lawn this weekend.
This was a couple weeks ago. And they came out, they mowed my lawn like two
Sundays ago and left an enormous amount of just clippings all over my front and backyard, just
grass clippings. And by the time I noticed that they were gone. And so I texted the guy when he
was setting up the next time and I'm like hey yeah uh i paid for you to pick up
the clippings also and there's a bunch of dead grass in my backyard and it's very unsightly
and there's a bunch of my front yard too so next time bring the equipment to take care of that
that comes the word unsightly with a landscaper i didn't i didn't say that okay i was checking
it's just unsightly no i said okay faggot i'll get it i gotta get right to it
i didn't say like that and then he came out again today and these guys are they're both morbidly
obese a full mouth of teeth between them and one of the guys had a hard rock the biggest hard rock cafe shirt i've ever seen
in my life tucked into the biggest camo pajama pants i've ever seen and he's walking around my
yard mowing i'm taking care of stuff in here i'm not really just trying to make sure the noise
doesn't bother me with monocle and i go out again and piles piles of grass in my front yard enormous piles and i like
walked over to one of the guys and i was like he was standing by the truck out front while the other
dude was on the side of the house finishing stuff up and i was like hey you guys are gonna go back
over this and collect all this grass right like this is, I paid for this to be taken care of.
And he goes, that's him, brother.
And I was like, this is as far as this conversation is going to go.
Just saying, I'm just his help.
That's what he said.
I'm his helper.
That's him, brother.
And so I wait for him to come around, a somehow even fatter man.
And I can go over to him and i was like hey remember uh
last time i said i wanted the grass clipping picked up because i paid for that and he was like
ah well you know when do you want me to come back and do that and i was like now preferably
service now and he was like can't now can't now i don't have any of the bagging equipment. And where would I put it?
And I was like.
Do you want me to find a place?
I was exasperated at this point.
I was just like, it was blowing my mind that I've paid for this service twice now.
You prepaid.
Prepaid because I went through.
Amateur homeowner. Yeah. Prepaid because I went through a home advisor.
Amateur homeowner.
Yeah, home advisor.
I canceled that already.
These people are not coming back.
I'm going to do it myself tomorrow because it'll be faster for me.
The amount of indignation this fat fuck had when it was like,
and I did it very politely.
I paid for this.
We had this discussion.
Do you remember two weeks ago when you came here and we talked about this?
I don't want someone to mow my grass
and then three days later,
it looked like my entire grass is dead
because there's a big pile of dead grass on it.
And he was like,
how about we come out on Friday,
next Friday,
and we'll mow again and collect it all that time.
And I was like, no, no, this is it.
This is it.
If you can't collect it now, thank you for mowing,
but that's all.
I'm no longer interested.
And like the worst businessman in America,
he's like, all right, and just left.
And so now I've got a chore
that these fat fucking retards
in their pajama pants couldn't
take care of. Spilled water on my
keyboard right there. God damn it. They're responsible for that.
They're responsible for this.
They're responsible for that. I should probably
dry that up, actually.
That really
got my goat today. I was like sitting in here anticipating
seeing a perfectly manicured lawn and they gave me an errand it would have been fucking easier for
me to just do it myself so fuck these people i'm i'm going straight to hopefully a neighborhood kid
yeah pre-paying whenever you can and if they 95% of the job and ask for payment,
never ever pay.
This might sound obvious to you.
I don't mean to,
but it wasn't obvious to me my whole life.
There have been a handful of times
where people get 95% down and explain,
Woody, look,
we're almost finished everything.
And it's like, right, right, right, right.
But there's like 600 rocks.
You guys were going to stack it on a pallet.
Right, we'll come back and do that next week.
That's when you get paid.
You don't get paid until everything is done done because I know that you won't come back.
You're done.
So that's what – I do have to grab a paper towel.
I grew up paying people like that or having my dad pay people like that, people that you
can't trust to do their job.
People who are just trying
to earn enough money to buy a bottle of liquor sometimes.
Once they've
gotten to $8, they're ready to cash
their ships out. It's like, we came here to
work? You can't work an hour and
what did you say? 18 minutes?
What kind of junky math
are you doing over there to figure out that that's $8
and 14 cents? I finally got to cut my grass by What kind of junkie math are you doing over there to figure out that that's $8.14?
I found I got to cut my grass by just, I just saw one of those trucks with the trailer on the back and his number on a placard.
And I looked at his gear and it looked, it's like, oh yeah, he's got a mower with a mulcher and he's got all the weed eaters.
And, you know, he's white, of course.
And so I called that guy and had him come over. It's cheap as fuck.
It's nothing.
Yeah.
I pay him for the PayPal.
Like he comes every week, same day, and then he like bills me through PayPal and I click one button and we're all sorted.
When we did this house, right?
We had it renovated before we moved in and it was expensive.
People remember the whole story of the Jamal and everything, but the lead contractor was
like, Woody, look, can you pay us now?
We're almost done.
All we have to do is align a door, put on a few light switch covers, and clean the place, which was a big task.
Imagine two and a half months of drywall work.
Cleaning is a serious task.
And it's like $40,000 for some light switches and cleaning.
I'm like, you sound motivated.
That's how I like it.
And our relationship had really deteriorated at this point.
And I'm like, you know, when you're done everything,
when every item on the punch list is it,
I got your money sitting in a bank account, right?
There's no inability to pay here.
There's an unwillingness to pay until you're all the way done
and i'm gonna give him 20 though right just so he could handle his bill zero zero he got fucking
zero like look if you have a day and a half worth of work and you're owed whatever it was 40 grand
or something that's there actually was another six grand i held out because Jamal actually, the subcontractor,
not Jamal, hadn't been paid.
Now, Jamal didn't do the work,
so Ed docked him the pay.
Ed didn't pay Jamal for the work that he did do.
He just paid him for what he thought he should have got.
And I'm over here.
He put a lien against my house,
meaning that if I were to ever sell it or something,
that money would go to Jamal.
So I took the, it was six grand.
I took the six grand, put it in an equity account,
and we went to court.
And they agreed that Ed was going to pay,
and then there was going to be a judgment against me
to make this payment.
And they're like, does everyone agree?
And I'm like, no.
No, I don't agree.
I'm like, this guy doesn't pay his bills.
This guy doesn't do his work. And somehow
there's going to be a thing on my credit record
saying the judge had to order me to pay.
I'm the only guy here who does what he says he's going to do.
I put the money in an equity account.
And the judge was like, yeah, he sounds right
actually. He's the only guy here
who fulfilled his obligation.
So we agreed
to settle it all out of court
so there was no ding on my credit record.
Which, that's how it went.
But anyway, yeah.
Don't pay until they're done done.
You don't pay until they're done done.
All the way done.
All the way.
Like in Taylor's situation,
everything went on but whatever,
like 15 minutes of picking up grass clippings.
Yeah.
Well, if you want your money,
you'll just work 15 more minutes, I guess. Otherwise, they won't do it i was i totally want you're gone taylor i just
you're muted by the way i i just found one of those you know trucks and trailers at a gas station
that's got the sign like you know miller's mowing or whatever the fuck and i got one of those guys
so new story came out sort of a thing la Lori Loughlin, probably pronounced that right-ish,
and Mossimo Ghiliani,
they were the people that did that scandalous way
to get their daughter into MIT or Stanford maybe.
I think it might have been Stanford.
They pled guilty, and they're getting a substantial,
the woman is getting two months in prison
and a $150,000 fine,
two years of supervised release, 100 hours of community service,
and her husband's getting five months in prison and two months release,
supervised release.
That, it's weird to me.
I've said this before as a hot take, and I'm not backing off.
I feel like the problem is they didn't pay enough to cheat their kid into Stanford.
If you pay $2 million and buy Harvard a new wing with your name on it, your kid gets in.
If you pay $1 million and whatever, donate to the library, your kid gets in and no one thinks twice about it.
If you pay $150,000, suddenly it's corrupt.
Well, I don't remember the specifics because it's such an old case now but it seemed like they were bribing officials rather than donating toward
the infrastructure of the university but you say tomato i say tomato right like i think that
they were able like the rowing coach could get people in and bypass the normal admissions, which, by the way, is how I got into college.
But she didn't know how to row, whereas I actually didn't know how to swim.
And that was like the scandal of it.
But is it donating to a library also bypassing the normal admission standards?
It's just more money.
No, no.
What I was saying was it seems unfair because they're bribing officials like decision makers rather than investing into the infrastructure of the university itself, which does, which is also like kind of questionable if you want to look at it like broadly.
But I definitely see a big difference like if you pay me and i get you in the door the door hasn't gotten anything out of that i i i i'm
a middleman and i've taken all the money but if you pay to spruce up the place so that you can
come in the place is better for having you here the place place is not better for having Lori Loughlin's daughter there
because she had some admissions guy bribed.
Until just now, I couldn't see your point at all.
But that was well phrased.
Like, I get it.
One is investing in the school and greasing the wheels,
and the other is investing in a corrupt official and greasing the wheels.
I definitely don't like either on principle,
but I do see a difference. I don't remember the specifics of that thing.
There was one guy who was facilitating everything
and I think he may have gotten in some real trouble. I think they had a couple
different ways of getting kids in school. Some people had surrogate test takers
to get great standardized test scores um some i think the rowings not a scholarship but like a
rowing um admissions bypass was actually a real thing i think i have that right
they had a bunch of different ways to get kids into school but
i kind of see the difference now,
but I,
I,
society accepts different rules for different people,
right?
Special people get special treatment and I do too.
Like if you told me Conor McGregor got a nice rental house, whereas some guy on the undercard got a hotel room,
I'd say,
yeah,
special people get special treatment,
deal with it.
You know?
Oh,
did you fly commercial while Conor got the UFC jet? You get special treatment. Deal with it. Oh, did you fly commercial while Connor got the UFC jet?
He gets special treatment because he has special requirements
and he's especially good at his job and that's what happens.
Some employees get paid more than others
because they're good at their jobs.
I accept that.
I feel like there's a certain thing here
where we just apply that same acceptance.
If you're Bill Gates' kid and he donates enough to MIT, you get in.
Yeah, I suppose.
Yeah, sure.
I think my keyboard's broken.
God damn it.
God damn it.
The lawn man strikes again.
Does it help that it's funny?
You know, you probably needed a good gaming keyboard
anyway this is a corsair k70 or whatever it is the 140 one that chis recommended oh okay actually
that sucks uh god now that now the little search thing in the bottom left on windows
is it is it now i don't think this anymore i was gonna say is it possible it came and Windows 10 just goes, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop, blo Oh, no, it's muting me every once in a while.
Oh, I love this.
Oh, this is good.
Oh, no, I can't.
Fuck, dude.
I can't type.
I can't. Oh, hey, it's a write-off.
Now all that it's letting me do is try to add reactions to things that you guys have already written in the chat.
I like that a lot.
Are you kidding me? you need to get this this monitor is a
shit show right now so much stuff minimizing maximizing switching windows up down up down
do you know how many times i've left a cap off my drink once that was the only time you'll notice i always put the cat back on no matter
what i'm drinking and i god that lawn bastard you will now god god damn it i uh i tried to
fix a keyboard a while back i i complete i took all took the back plate off and i very carefully
disassembled it and uh then i i don't know if this happens to you, but sometimes when I'm doing something meticulous, I start getting this ants in my pants sort of overwhelming anxiety.
And I just went into a rage, and I started smashing it on the floor until there was nothing left.
And then I got on my phone on Amazon, and I ordered this keyboard, and it works like a charm.
Once you spill water on one of those things, I'm not saying it's irreparable damage.
Might be.
Oh no, what I was doing on my phone just then, I just
ordered another one of these, and if I'm not
able to fix it after the show,
I'm going to just let that
come through. So it's coming.
So what you do is you take this one,
you put it in the box,
return it to Amazon,
they'll never know. Oh, that. Return it to Amazon. They'll never know.
Oh, that's very white trash.
White trash.
Now even the lights aren't working.
The guy that I know that does that is not white trash.
I was trying to figure out a way to phrase it.
There's a word, but I'm not allowed to say it.
That's why
I was stuck there
I was like
God fucking damn it
Taylor there is a
headset you should buy along with it
I'm just pitching this idea
you might not like it
but
can't click the link
shall I describe it to you but... Can't click the link. Shall I
describe it to you?
Alright, when I
click the link, it zooms
back up to the TRT is back on the
menu boys picture.
Let's see if I can
open link in new tab.
No, that's right.
Those are some ugly headphones for
$130. It's a good headphone are some ugly headphones for $130.
It's a good headphone, and the side ear cup flips up.
So it can go straight over your head and be supported nicely,
but you just flip it above your ear.
I would like that one because I always wear them like this. I saw that, and I thought of Taylor and thought he might appreciate it.
That's good. I would click buy now if I could
I don't understand
so let me ask you this Taylor
because I've never understood why you don't put both cups
of your ears on
can you hear your voice come through that ear
through this one yeah
then why don't you wear both
I don't know
I don't know.
I don't like it.
People do that.
Like, he's not the only one.
I swear I've seen DJs and stuff.
Yeah, but for a reason.
And I've changed the settings before to where I can't hear my voice,
and I like that, too.
I like that even more.
Oh, my God.
I can't do this if I can't hear me.
I have it turned off right now.
Yeah, I can't hear myself.
Good God, man. Yeah, you're a fucking anomaly. If I can't hear me. I have it turned off right now. Yeah, I can't hear myself. Good God, man. Yeah, you're a fucking anomaly.
If I can't hear me in here,
it's like I'm like deaf person.
You see?
But that, no, I don't like it.
I like just hearing you guys
and the guests most of the time.
Oh, good God.
No, I need to hear me.
I think I need to.
I turn you guys like almost to a whisper.
I'm just booming.
It's all about me. My picture, my voice's all as far as i know this show he looked at his picture
that would be so funny as if i could see kyle's screen right now and it's just woody and i in
those tiny little discord squares and then kyle's full 16 by 9 right in the front. That's what it is. Look at yourself.
That would be so fucking weird to do the show just staring at yourself the whole time.
For that Patreon goal? Kyle's going to have a mirror
and not look at us at all.
I need something to look at. I need somewhere to keep my eyes.
Ray Charles
in it up?
I look at the product
like what people are going to see
and it always has me looking somewhere else all show long. I wish I could look at the product, like what people are going to see, and it always has me looking somewhere else all show long.
I wish I could look at the camera, but that's not natural for me.
I just move the box around until I can look into my own eyes.
That's what I'm doing right now.
I need a new headset.
This ear cup vibrates sometimes in a weird way.
Cool. I read about it, and apparently the driver is going badates sometimes in a weird way. And I,
I read about it and apparently the driver is going bad.
It's a nice headset.
It was like $400.
I got it like eight years ago.
I like these a lot.
Are they M fifties?
Is that what I'm looking at?
Yeah,
I think so.
They're pop.
Yeah.
Yeah. I know. I've been looking around pastilli just bought a new headset that's had an outsized
influence on my buying process like he's really good at tarkov that's probably why
yeah the things that are important to me um obviously comfort um i've had i've had headsets
before that just this strap up here can get real uncomfortable it can it can actually make a little
sore spot on the top of your head if you wear it for eight fucking hours in a row, which sometimes we do.
Right.
And if the material, the cup, makes your ears sweat, that's no good.
It's got to be velour, something fluffy and nice, not leather.
Yeah.
This is something really soft.
I don't know what it is, but it's nice.
I like it. My ears don't. Yes, it's meek vagina. It's not, I don't know what it is, but it's nice. I like it.
My ears don't.
Yes, it's meek vagina.
Mine's chinchilla.
And I like this.
I even like that it's red.
My old headset was those Astros, and they were red.
So I wanted to continue that little theme.
I considered Astros.
People who seem to be audiophiles aren't impressed by them.
I've always liked these.
I could even get them again.
You know, if a driver's bad, I guess it's all the excuse you need.
Yeah.
I use them 10 hours a day.
Or you order yourself a new set, send that set back.
Maybe.
I've got these.
I've got some Turtle'll do that some turtle beach gaming headset that i
still all of your entertainment but your headset is where you draw the line
apparently yeah and i don't i pay for netflix i pay for hulu i pay for espn i pay for
disney i can't think of anything else. Sometimes I just prefer the stolen version
because it's all in one place.
Plex has
all the content of all of those combined.
Even though I pay for them elsewhere,
it's right here
together in one spot.
Fair enough.
You still watching The Wire? Yes.
I'm on towards the end of season three.
I'm toward the end of season three. I'm toward the end of season two.
Okay.
I'm halfway through episode one of season one.
I started watching it last night, but it got to the point where I was like halfway in and I was like,
I'm not giving this the attention it needs and this is important.
And so I turned it off and watched an episode of Family Guy and I went to bed.
So this is not a spoiler or anything, but just do you remember the...
To me?
Yeah. So Frank Sabatka, he do you remember the... To me? Yeah.
So Frank Sabatka, he's the bald guy who's running the port.
His nephew is sort of the slick-backed, haired go-getter that lives in the basement.
And he's got the girlfriend he has the kid with.
Do you remember the girlfriend's tits?
She gets topless at one point yeah and it's like wow she's doesn't he like grab her tits at one point yeah he goes to grab
them she's like we don't have time we don't have time and he's like well they're out they're
staring right at me and i'm and i'm thinking like i bet that wasn't even the script i bet
he's just getting gropey because they are the nicest titties I've seen in a TV show in a coon's age.
The prison scene for the Sand Snakes in Game of Thrones.
Yeah, those are CGI.
These are real titties.
Oh, they're CGI?
Yeah.
That explains the absolute perfection.
Perfection.
Yeah.
They are big and perky and incredibly perfect.
If anybody doesn't believe me, just look there.
I'm gonna find those titties right now.
I can't believe I broke my fucking keyboard.
God damn it. I find it
very believable, Taylor.
I also can't believe it. Sam Pellegrino
does not get along with electricity.
I think your hair's looking better, Taylor.
All it needed was a week.
Couldn't have got worse.
I feel like whatever imperfect fade,
just add a little, add a whatever,
half a centimeter to the whole thing,
and it looks good now.
Yeah, not too bad.
I let my beard go for a while.
I'm really overdue for trim there.
I'm down. Oh, oh, we can talk about that. I'm really overdue for trim there. I'm down.
Oh, oh, we can talk about that.
I was going to say the little fitness thing.
But a story I know is huge right now that I haven't,
I don't actually know what's going on really,
is Keemstar and H3H3 are in a fight.
And I'm hoping if one of you guys knows a little more.
I do, yeah.
So I didn't watch, I don guys knows a little more. I do, yeah. Do you?
Okay.
So I don't watch Keemstar's videos typically,
but I guess he did a hit piece on H3H3.
And as the subject of a dozen Keemstar hit pieces,
he just lays out these allegations with no factual supporting.
This was in response to an H3 video, right?
No, this is how it started.
And, you know, I guess there's some element of truth
to the fact that the video game Payday did something
and they had a DLC and the money went to Ethan,
the H3 HD.
Cool.
And then Keemstar on his own said this money
was supposed to be for this purpose
and Ethan didn't exclusively use it for this purpose.
And,
you know,
he stole the money and kept it.
Oh,
the money was for Ethan,
right?
It wasn't like,
uh,
earmarked for just lawsuit costs or something.
And Ethan brought on the payday guys and confirmed that Keemstar just made up a part of the story to make him look bad.
Cool.
Uh,
and then Ethan hits back with these keemstar stuff like him bullying somebody
into suicide um i don't know if he touched on the basher thing him doxing people again and again and
keemstar being kind of like on both sides of the fence you know sometimes he says doxing is horrible
and how could you do such an evil thing other times keemstar literally doxes people and says
yeah i doxed him.
What are you going to do about it?
I report the news.
Ethan accurately is like, really?
I don't remember Anderson Cooper
giving out some person's mom's address
as part of their news coverage.
I don't remember them giving out his wife's phone number.
You're not just reporting the news.
You're clearly doxing a person.
And H3H3 just dunked on Keemstar for like a 40 minute video or something like that.
I haven't been a big fan of Keemstar since he attacked my son.
So maybe I'm a little biased,
but.
What's the suicide thing you said there?
So there was a YouTuber name,
like it's not Erica.
It's something close to it.
Like it, it Tika or something like that.
And the guy was clearly mentally troubled, right?
You know, he would threaten suicide.
He talked about, like, jumping off a bridge or something.
And Keemstar's take on mental depression,
which he's put out there on Twitter a bunch of times,
is like, you're weak.
Just be happy.
Don't take medicine. that's just a scam
by the healthcare industry for your depression.
Just go out, achieve more, and be a stronger person.
That's Keemstar's take on mental health.
And it really lacks empathy.
He talked to this guy several times
and was always like, kill yourself,
go jump off a bridge, laughing at him, et cetera.
He killed himself. I think he jumped off a bridge or something like that. And, um, then all of a
sudden Keemstar is like, leave me alone. I'm just trying to mourn my friend. I can't believe you
guys are out there like tagging me for this. And, uh, he just edited the video and it really showed
like the before and after and the transition that Keemstar went under and uh so keemstar is
currently in the internet doghouse although the guy is uh people don't watch keemstar because he's
a nice guy because they like him right they watch him for some other reason they find his topics
interesting or whatever it's drama right yeah so proving that keemstar is a jerk never hurts
keemstar right like it's out there we all know keemstar is a dick that's not
news that's not a change everyone knows you can't hurt the hulk with kryptonite you can't ruin
keemstar's reputation it's it doesn't get lower and he's like look i'm scum and i do scummy shit
and that's that's who keemstar is so there's no exposing him as scummy currently people are
reminded that he's scummy and they're all like upset with him but i think in two months he'll
be right back where he was as youtube scummy dude probably yeah i i've i've never watched
any keemstar content and i've also never watched any h3 content i don't think no i watched a clip of his podcast when he had bill burr on when bill burr apparently
was just like not having whatever it was and i think that's the extent of my he got a bunch of
he made a video about that or something like he and his wife uh he's because oh so the internet has kind of turned against
h3h3 to some extent he started off making reaction video content and it wasn't straight up like
reaction videos the really low effort ones where you just make faces while the video plays
uh he would make like he'd mock it and do his own little skits and intersplice it in.
And, uh, you know, sort of a value add reaction video.
People love that.
My impression is he sort of saw himself on the top of the bell curve at that and transitioned
into the podcast.
And a lot of people are like, Hey, I liked this about you.
I don't like this new thing about you.
And they fuss at him anyway.
He acknowledged the
bill burr thing and he's like people say i'm unrelatable now as he's like getting into his
porsche uh people think that i shouldn't live in this house it's beautiful it makes me look like a
fucking peasant like it's a nine million dollar home with this jesus like infinity pool or something and a Porsche in the garage he's doing amazingly well and and he's like people say that you know I fucked
up the Bill Burr interview or whatever I'm just quoting and his wife is like
yeah that was cringy and I was like oh yeah own it like it was kind of cringy
and they just you were able to be like yeah you know that that happened I
thought he handled that well but but it's, uh,
So the Keemstar war with them, that's, it's kind of sizzling out now, I guess.
It's two days old or something like it's, it's, uh, you know,
when I saw the video, it had a million views.
And then I popped in on it today and it had like, I don't know,
maybe 3.7 million views. So it's, uh, for people that follow YouTube drama,
I guess it's the hip thing right now.
But like I said,
there's no chance that
people will change their opinion on Keemstar.
Everyone knows what Keemstar is about.
He's trash.
Oh, it stopped making weird,
stopped blinking as soon as I held it vertically.
Ah.
Yeah, the liquid's pouring down toward the other side.
Yeah.
Now it's going to put random numbers instead of Windows key on your screen.
Did that?
No, it did not stop it.
Good.
No.
Good.
So what keyboard are you talking about?
Oh, I have one more.
Yeah.
Go ahead.
I was going to say, I didn't have anything else on the H3 Keemstar thing
I plan to watch H3's video on stream to try and understand what it's about
but neither here nor there
I finished The Sopranos last night
I was anticipating
have you ever gotten to the end of a show
where you get bummed out knowing it's coming to an end like the way Kyle described that scene the end one where you're like oh and then
it's just kind of a carousel revolving door of people coming in sitting down like laughing doing
whatever they're doing and as that was happening I was having like that feeling of like oh no
oh this is really it isn't it this is the end of the fucking show shit and i was expecting the
mid-sentence cutout thing to be at least a little more obvious than that instead of him just kind of
here in a ring and then just not even looking up all the way just like getting to here and then
ends and so the correct me most people understand or not understand,
assume like,
okay,
the end there was him right about to get assassinated.
Yep.
That's the understanding.
My understanding is he got assassinated,
that he didn't register the bullet or anything,
but we see his brain turn off.
That's how I interpreted the last scene.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And,
but is there any um
i guess like fan theories of other things that might have happened fan theories don't
matter david chase has spoken on the matter oh okay well is that it it's
they um i don't know i didn't put it together until other people like pointed it out to me
there's a scene on a maybe a boat
with bobby bacliata something close to that where where um tony was describing how it happens and
he's like it just goes to black or something maybe kyle you can do it better than i can yeah
yeah i mean you got you pretty much got it he's like bet you don't even feel it huh yeah it's just
everything goes black it's's over. Yeah.
And they're having that discussion because Bobby had never killed anybody.
And then, of course,
Tony uses that information
to his advantage the next day
when he sends Bobby
to have to go assassinate that guy,
that Frenchman,
that French-Canadian fella,
because he knew that was
the best way to hurt Bobby.
Yeah, poor Bobby.
I felt bad for him on that.
Why was he hurting Bobby again?
Because Bobby beat him up.
Oh. Bobby beat the shit out of him when they were playing
Monopoly or whatever
and Tony was saying
that Janice was blowing all the guys
under a
under the boardwalk
with Janice blowing some guys
Janice is Bobby's wife
with this schlong in Janice's mouth.
Yeah.
And then Bobby beats the absolute shit out of him.
And then you feel bad for Bobby when he was killing that guy.
Cause you could tell like,
like the way like Pauly kills someone is so blase and who cares that he'll
like cap somebody and then just be like,
and this motherfucker bled on my brand new shoes,
brand new.
And he'll like be mad about it.
And like Bobby shot that guy.
And what I thought,
maybe one of you disagrees is when he walked up to the guy to like put it to
his forehead and then shoot him there.
It was almost like Bobby taken this way more seriously than the rest of them.
Like if I'm going to take life,
I need to,
I need to take it. I need to, I need to take it.
I need to know.
He'd never killed anyone before.
Yeah.
And so he takes it with a lot more,
you know,
solemnity or whatever the word would be than the other guys who just don't
really give a shit.
Just fucking murder and willy nilly.
I was the biggest surprises in that show were Chris dying.
I did not expect Chris to die.
I,
I would have bet like I liked Bobby so much that I knew he was going to die. I would have bet.
I liked Bobby so much that I knew he was going to die at some point.
Seemed like an untouchable character.
Yeah, I was like, it was almost
like a sunk cost thing where I was like,
Tony has spent so much time molding
this guy and oh, my mold fell
apart again. Well, let me put it back together. Let me
build it up. It's a little better this time. Oh, it fell apart
again. Well, I built it up again
a little better this time. Oh, it fell apart again. Well, I built it up again a little better this time. And so that that caught me right out of right out of left field. I did not expect him to murder Chris right there. That was a really intense scene. What else? And I didn't expect Syl to get shot up like that. So unceremoniously right at the end, because it was almost like Syl, Pauly and and Tony were kind of quasi-untouchables,
where it's like, all right, that's him, and then that's his little shield underneath him.
Constantine or whatever it is.
Close to that, yeah.
Yeah.
And such a fantastic show.
In a year or so, I'm going to rewatch that whole thing and probably pick up on more things.
If there was a version of that show with every scene with AJ outside of season one where he's a funny fat kid cut out it'd be a better show i did not
oh something else that i i kind of liked kind of didn't like about the finale of the sopranos
was usually when you're watching a finale of a show it's kind of understood within the context
of the show that they're wrapping up you know where it's like all right we're closing this we're closing that put a pin on this done done done
wrapped up in this it was like i know it's the final episode but tony's going around everybody's
going around as if it's just another day making plans for things that you know things turned
around and we're going well right tony came out of hiding if i recall they uh someone killed
uh that guy with absolutely no forehead whatsoever um and with the the gray hair that starts like
right as eyebrows and one of the guys was like oh we might win this like we're gonna win this
that kind of positivity but i i kind of like to kind of didn't like it of him like having the
conversations with with his his son and like setting up for plans
they're going to do in the future and oh we're going to do this business still you need to be
on this uh paulie you need to do that and i don't know it felt more realistic in a silly way where
it was like obviously a guy that he doesn't know he's going to die he wouldn't be putting a pin
and everything like it i made it sadder knowing it was going to end. And he's just, this is what? No,
this is just Tuesday.
This is just Tuesday.
I'm just doing Tuesday things.
Some people put it as a bad ending because they didn't,
you know,
tie a bow on all the little lead.
To me,
it was a great ending.
You know,
I don't want every show to just not end well,
but for mobster show where the main character presumably gets shot like that,
like perfect nailed it.
Yeah.
I think I see now why people people a lot of people think that's
the best show of all time fantastic the wire is good too when i told you about the wire i was like
yeah you really gotta pay attention it's difficult to keep up with the wire i'm gonna i think i'm on
my second watching i'm having a much easier time now like why do they think this was so complex
you know like all the characters and the names and stuff. I'm doing much better.
Well, I'm only halfway into episode one, like I said, but I can tell I'm going to love this show.
Like the acting's fantastic.
What's his name?
The smart black guy who's like the.
Yeah, him who like the first scene he's in is like coaching someone through a court case.
And that was really cool.
So, yeah.
Oh, wait.
The smart black guy.
Does he have facial hair?
He's really famous now.
Idris Elba.
Idris Elba is the actor's name.
I don't remember what his character's name is, though.
There's a couple smart...
Stringer Bell.
Okay.
Stringer Bell.
Anyway, there's a couple smart black guys in the show
and I like that.
I like that the people who run the drag enterprise,
some of them are a little dumb thuggy
and some of them are intelligent businessmen or just you know another kind of smart like a socially
kind of smart where they understand how to play this game and uh i just i like him because it
seems like it's setting up that he's going to be the big thorn in the side of the cops the whole
time because you know whereas his underlings might get out of control or something. It seems like he's got
a tight
fist wrapped around every little aspect
of the business. I like that character
already, so we'll see what he does.
Yeah, he's great.
Yeah, Stringer Bell. I love that guy's
character.
I like Dee's character.
I like most of the characters in it.
The detectives, I won't spoil anything with this
they all develop into interesting storylines too i like what they do with them so i think
you'll enjoy the series i like the over the top dressing like he's on the street but he's a cop
white guy detective who's like lady you take care of the inputting data me and
my partner we are we're street guys or whatever kind of junkie strong yeah he's yeah junkie strong
he's wearing his an enormous shirt and big pants and his like sideways hat and i guess that was
in season two i think all the bad guys are white and he's very excited because it's his chance to like work
with the drug dealers and he's not there taking pictures from a block away anymore he's the guy
who's like uh dealing with all the other bad guys because he fits season two is the shittiest one
you guys i think it is yeah yeah i had a friend of mine i was texting him i was like i'm just
finished sopranos he's like oh awesome and i'm like i'm about to start the wire and he goes awesome just like uh skip season two and it's
the best show ever season i mean it's it's it's just not as good it's still a good season it
takes a little while to quote unquote get the band back together like get all the detectives
uh like back in their squad again but um i think frank sapatka is pretty interesting. The Ziggy character is the most annoying part.
Frank Sipatka's son is this piece of shit, skinny fucker
who's just always just fucking everything up.
You know why I like Ziggy?
Because I loved that actor in Generation Kill.
I haven't seen that in a really long time.
Oh, he's the guy that drives a lot and eats the rip fuel, like energy pills.
I watched it one time.
I don't remember very well.
Anyway, I loved him in Generation Kill,
and I just saw a lot of the same characteristics in the same actor,
and I was like, I get it, I get it.
I've seen that.
That's a great show, or miniseries, whatever.
Yeah, it's got that Skars guard guy in it um from uh true blood
yeah the good looking blonde dude yep what would you call him scars guard is that the actor's name
yeah okay i think it's his last name his brother is the one who plays um it and it
the i'm taking in a little more media than i do when there's not a pandemic on like probably
a lot of people are i it looks like we're wrapping up our response to the pandemic i
it's political at this point right where if you if you think it's bad you're
democrat if you think it's fine it it's Republican. But it's my impression that America, it's not so much that we think it's over.
It's that that's all you get, right?
That's all you get.
I was willing to quarantine for eight weeks.
Fuck off.
I'm back at it.
And I'm not really much different.
Like, I don't, I'm just like, all right, well, you know, not going to quarantine for two years.
I'd rather just see if I'm one of the 2%, no, one of the 98% that's
fine through this thing or whatever the number is.
I'm not
going to... It's like if you
told me there was a 1% chance I'd die
and I could avoid that 1%
by giving up two years
of my life, I'd be like, ah, fucking roll the dice.
It kind of
comes to a difficult crossroads where
you... Because there are people out there who I feel like are only really rich people who are still like, stay home, everyone.
What your work in the service industry and you're out of savings and the Trump bucks didn't get you far enough.
Sorry.
What are you only caring about the stock market by not but you stay home
and it's like okay well you can acknowledge the value of staying home trying to make this not as
bad while also acknowledging that tens of millions of people are out of work and really fucking
struggling and we can't do this indefinitely there's going to be a global depression like
it's going to get bad there's a huge middle For sure. It's almost had a lifestyle upgrade from it.
And like it.
Some people.
Yeah.
If you're in non-essential industries and you can work from home and things like that.
Yeah.
That's what I'm getting at.
Like I'm thinking of you and I'm trying not to say you, but like, you know, like people
in your situation who can do their job from home or from the office.
It's like, you know what?
Secretly, I think this might be better than before. And you know, not alone like this i won't hide that at all i i am enjoying my
lot in this yeah very much but that doesn't mean that you you know enforce your standard of it on
everyone necessarily when they need to make money and feed their kids and shit for sure for sure
you can't put the whole world on pause there's a lot of jobs where like social distancing kind of fits in with them the lawn care guys roofers you know maybe a
lot of construction uh it's like yeah it's not nba anyway you don't have a bunch of guys rubbing
on each other to install a roof you You can get... I don't know.
My neighbor got a new roof yesterday.
It was very fucking loud.
Now you need a new roof
keeping up with the
Johnsons.
The Joneses or whatever the saying is.
You're renting at the moment, right?
You don't need a new roof.
You certainly don't need to pay for one.
Won't be my problem if I do.
What flavor of Zevia are you drinking right now?
Black Cherry.
Was Arcus drinking alcohol?
Was he drinking like Bacardi from the bottle?
What was that?
I thought that was like fancy water, like glass bottle water.
Yeah, okay.
Yeah, that would be, he's pretty hardcore if he was just slugging vodka like that.
No fish or crab whatsoever. Yeah, it's huge. yeah that would be he's pretty hardcore if he was just slugging vodka like that no
whatsoever yeah i didn't do any ecstasy in there but good god i got hooked on toilet wine
yeah i didn't know i was i i kept looking at the bottle trying to figure it out but i'm not the guy
who's gonna crack that code you know i don't i don't know yeah i'm pretty sure it was fancy water
okay yeah i thought he was,
man,
that was awesome having him on.
He's that was,
you always know the guest is awesome when it just becomes all of us being
like,
tell another story.
Yeah.
I tell another story.
Yes.
There's been a handful of like prison guys that I was interested in.
Right.
Wes Watson's one of them.
Lockdown 2020.
It keeps going and going.
And she's like, we got, is his name Steve Atwood?
Do I have it right?
Yeah.
Sean Atwood.
Sean Atwood, thank you.
Anyway, it was like, I don't know this guy, but we'll see how it is.
I think he's better than any of them.
It's like, oh, this guy's like an inspirational speaker, storyteller, ecstasy kingpin, mafia, Columbia family.
It's like, oh my God, we got the best one on earth.
The other ones will have big shoes to fill if they come on.
They will, but I won't say it to that one guy's face.
Wes Watson?
Yeah.
I'm pretty tough over the internet, I might say.
I was about to say, I'll say whatever I want.
What you going gonna do?
Felon?
Kyle's sitting there like, you'll never catch me in my home in Maine.
Just coming to my house is a violation of your parole.
Yeah.
I'm a felon.
I'm a felon.
Two.
You're safe.
You're safe in your own weird, shielded way.
Yeah.
Wow. Kyle has a restraining order against all felons
yeah
that's just
like a super power
well you can attain the same powers
I have
need to smoke some pot
just a couple postage stamps away
I could probably get it for something else, too,
like mailing lizards or something.
Mailing lizards?
There are lots of things you can't mail.
Yeah, lizards.
You think you become a felon for mailing a lizard?
Make it ivory tusks.
I could do it.
If you make it like if it's some sort of exotic lizard,
you definitely go to jail for that shit.
I wonder how a guy in prison who's like trafficking birds does.
What's your charges, man?
I love birds.
I love the wild ones.
Yeah, I was right.
He's a chomo.
I never get quite the.
I've asked this to lots of people.
You know, like the game plan for my prison
survival and he's like well the way i did it is i was a ecstasy kingpin and i came in with protectors
from all over and then like well i don't have any prison connections i'm gonna be all alone
for whatever it is i'm gonna do and i no one ever really has a good plan for me they like steal a car and then in the
time between that and the the court case you're like frantically trying to build an ecstasy kingpin
to take into prison with you i i wanted to ask him i wish i had everyone seems so opposed to
being in solitary for a year or two yeah that sounds awful i'm not like like if it's so bad that people are
getting fucking killed on sight and squashed on side or whatever the fuck and and there's
cockroaches everywhere like i'd could you put me in that solitary room oh you don't want that
oh i think i do right i think i do especially I don't want any torpedoes coming into my room.
Yeah.
I feel like
if I had a two month sentence
especially
it might be hard to live
the rest of my life
in solitary.
But fuck
not harder than getting raped.
I
but if it's two months
it might be like
you know what
we smuggle in an iPad
or something
I got this.
Two months standing on my head.
Yeah.
If you have any entertainment you
could do it but youtube would help me get through books books you get books yeah books and are you
allowed books in solitary yeah yeah oh blade told the story where he was in solitary and he had
books right i tell you you're muted I think am I muted no
oh it might have muted me and unmuted me okay
I'll keep an eye on this you were saying things
out loud just before I said that right
like reactions oh
yeah maybe that get through
yeah anyway oh yeah
we're almost at the
end
maybe a waterproof keyboard should be your next one this is not supposed to do that i
guess it doesn't normally blink randomly it's not supposed to be doing any of this oh i like that
that's morse code for why
keyboard for you uh son of a bitch do you have another keyboard around the house i do but i i didn't want to
run around right it'll be a temporary replacement until the good one comes in stream and oh i just
dropped it and i opened up every single thing that doesn doesn't happen. I can drop my keyboard.
It's fine.
Now I can't exit out of this.
Task manager's open.
And I'm somehow
in the wrong
Discord chat now.
Is your mouse not working?
Well, it's like the mouse is trying to work,
but this is,
I assume, putting in so many inputs that it's like the mouse is trying to work but this is i assume putting in so many inputs that it's like jumping around and not working right so i'm having to click everything like 10 times so
god damn it well it is funny so you get wait i'll say that again i talked at the same time
i said that's life oh okay i ruined your timing sorry oh no it's it's all good the other one will
show up between the 25th and the 29th.
And until then,
I'll use this free crappy one that came with it.
So,
uh,
fucking way she goes,
Randy.
Kyle,
have you been gaming at all?
I think they tried to pull you into Tarkov last night and you were maybe
watching something.
I was watching the wire.
Yeah.
Um,
no,
I've been playing,
uh,
Warhammers DLC came out last night so i'm
gonna be playing that yeah yeah the new the new dlc is very very cool he added a lot of shit so
i'm gonna be playing that uh yeah i've just been playing tarkov but i don't have anything new to
report about it i'm just trying to same same old. They're slow with their updates.
We could do a 3 hour 51 minute show.
Yeah, let's knock it out.
I had a great time.
You're opting to power through 9 minutes I just ignore him
he doesn't even have any equipment anymore
I think he's in and out of mute
he's like this
being muted
alright fine let's end it
I wish I I should be taking taking video of what's going on.
All right.
Uh,
PKA four 92.
I think it was a,
I think it was a fire episode.
So very want to get him on again.
Come back.
All right.
Uh,
any outros?
Nope.
Nope.
There we go.