Painkiller Already - Painkiller Already #495
Episode Date: June 15, 2020In this week's PKA, our good friend Harley Morenstein, from Epic Meal Time, is back! We had him for a short time on the 10 Year Anniverasry Episode, so it's great to have him return for the full show ...this week, where he can show case is crazy action figure collection! The guys talk about the issues with finding "the truth" in 2020 & how ruined the political landscape is these days towards the end of the show, but before we get to that dose of serious discussion we gotta have a sillier time talking television and movies, because this is PKA dammit. It's a great show, Harley is awesome, the guys give relationship advice, talk about Twitch donators & it's just a quality show. Hope you enjoy it!
Transcript
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Pinkular already, $4.95 with our guest
Harley. Kyle?
Couple of sponsors tonight.
We've got Postmates, Blue Chew,
a new one tonight, Honey,
and SmartMouth
returning, as they always do every
couple of weeks. So we'll get to them later
on in the show, of course. But yeah, I got our
big old friend Harley on
tonight. We appreciate you coming on.
What's up? Yeah. Thank you for having
me, guys. Oh, anytime. You know how it is.
Yeah. You know, I gotta say
I liked blue Harley better.
Well, yeah. Every time. I don't
know what it is. Every time I turn on my cameras
or reset my computer, everything's blue.
Oh, is it not backlighting?
What?
That was backlighting, wasn't it? Like you have a bunch of blue
like multicolored backlights
behind you. No, my camera literally just
goes completely like cold.
It just goes blue.
I don't believe that. Oh, there's
no. Really? Wait, what?
Am I confusing
something with you guys right now? Are we having a confusing
moment? This is what happened.
Hold on.
Let's sort this out.
Teacher Harley's coming out right there.
Are we guys, are we experiencing?
Is that what we're doing?
Let's gather back.
I thought this is what it looked like when I came in.
This right now?
No.
Yes, that's it.
This is just for some reason, the white balance goes all the way left
when i reset my computer that's why uh yeah nope not cool lighting just a big old fuck up by me
for what it's worth i could see it was white balance all along you could probably go to
yellow as well have a similar yeah i don't know why it does that but for that jaundiced look
dude yes in the winter time i, I slide things a little yellow.
You guys can't see it because I have two cameras,
one for you and one for the show.
But these doors behind me are white,
and they look slightly tannish on the show.
You know why?
Yeah, that's like bone.
They look bone.
Because I look slightly tannish right now.
I am better looking in this camera than I am in real life
because I tan myself a touch.
I've messed with exposures and stuff to the point that it looks like I have a radiant filter on now.
My skin.
There are so many things on my skin you guys aren't even seeing right now.
Yeah, I figured it out.
Really.
Yeah.
If I go too far, I get red and blotchy, which turns it and I get not as good looking.
I actually, this was terrifying one time i i messed with the contrast and like saturation i was just like
stone messing around with the camera settings and like looking at myself and this like saturation
setting like it brought out like my skin it looked like i saw where like pimples were going to come out oh like i saw like
yeah it was like an infrared pimple detector it was fucked like it was all over my face and i was
like i see them they're coming like it's white privilege uh yeah i i've done that same thing
the blotchy and the any Any hint of a skin fall.
You're like, I'm so ugly.
Oh, my God.
I tone it back.
Yeah, if you spend enough time on camera,
you know your angle.
You know your best angle.
I know exactly what I look like.
I, unfortunately,
my aging process is so well documented,
like what I looked like in the last 11 years.
That could be valuable, though.
Maybe there's a scientific study you could be valuable though maybe there's
a scientific study you could be part of or if you ever go on like hgh some sort of anti-aging drug
like you can you could like show you could use those befores as afters and just make so much
money on your own anti-aging program you know what's the value i have found like um i guess i
was worried i was losing my hair. So like I, I,
I,
is any guy not like low key worried?
Like that?
His hairline's moving.
Kyle's not that worried to be honest with you.
I'll be okay.
Yeah.
I'm pretty good too.
I'm 47.
Right.
Uh,
but you know,
so I was like,
Oh,
I'm a little worried.
Cause I think the first one of us three to go bald.
No,
it'll be me.
I like literally like,
okay.
When,
when my hair is short i just cut
it yesterday you can kind of see the skull like where the hair is like through it and i'm like
is that normal so i start like going through the archives you know like what did i look like
six years ago eight years it's pretty stable it almost reminds me of the office like remember
like steve carell like season one and then you see season three, you're like, whoa, his hair got thick.
They did some moves there.
There's been so much speculation about what's going on with Steve Carell's hair.
I saw this one article that apparently he wrote where they're like,
oh, look, the hair and makeup was so good to make his hair look thin
in the first season as if they made his hair look thin.
Are you serious?
Someone honestly tried to play it like there's some...
They turned Michael Scott's hair into a conspiracy.
When in fact, what clearly happened...
That they did that?
It was either a hair surgery, which is my bet,
or it was aggressive minoxidil finasteride treatments.
It was one of the two. Season one,
he actually looks like
a doughy, kind of ugly,
fading middle manager at a dead-end
job for a paper corporation.
Season nine, or whatever
it was last season, nine, ten?
The last one he was in was
eight, I think. Well, almost a decade
later, he looks actively younger, fitter, and healthier than he did.
He turned into a movie star in real life.
That's exactly what happened.
You see him get a really healthy-looking tan, get quite a bit thinner,
and then whenever you see him eating on the show,
he's eating like a really healthy salad with his own brand of Great Scott dressing on it, of course,
which is just a mixture of ranch and French, in case anyone's curious.
And yeah, he improved his look dramatically.
But not just his look, but his personality shifts from season one to season two and going forward.
He's a real scumbag in season one.
There's a whole YouTube video called This Wasn't Working.
And it's a picture of Michael Scott from season one.
And it shows a montage of michael scott from season one and it
shows like a montage of him being too shitty like way too he's supposed to be shitty and goofy and
and and like sort of the one who drives the issues we have the exact same recommended you and i i
know i've seen this too just from the things that gets referenced i'm like yeah we have the same
recommended page i get around yeah it is it is
pretty fascinating i because i never thought about that watching it i was just like yeah season one
is pretty funny never really thought about you go back you're like whoa i did see a video where
they said pam was the worst and they just broke down pam in a particular fashion i saw that one
too that's true i haven't seen that but pam is terminally unfunny she doesn't
have a single joke thing i'm a karen filipelli kind of man all right pam should have been gone
with that loser boyfriend of it of notice that as soon as pam left roy roy's life skyrocketed
he's a business owner playing the goddamn piano married a girl who's much better looking that
better looking than young pam and pam falls off the fucking rails around season what around season
three she gets much less attractive something happens like like what do you what do you always
say about women woody jesus you put it on me uh they ride at 25 they start riding they ride at
25 is what woody says and I tell him time and time again,
that's misogynist, ignorant, and wrong.
But he says it.
So what can you do?
He says it constantly.
And you're definitely not attributing things.
He sends me text messages.
Middle of the night, they rot.
Dot, dot, dot.
And I'm just like, fuck.
He supports all kinds of slurs.
Did he mean to send this to me?
He's like, I'm sorry.
I didn't send it, Jack.
It'll just be 2 a.m.,
a photo of Woody's TV
paused on the E! channel
and be like,
get a load of this Hollywood whore.
Just middle of the night.
It's funny.
We were talking about language
that you can say
and cannot say
and he literally
just sent me a message.
They rock.
We were talking about streaming on
Facebook versus Twitch and other platforms
and how there are certain words that
especially this week
you can't say, but even this year
there have been words that now we can't say.
In the last five, we lose more and more words
and maybe for the best. I was watching
Avengers today.
I'm re-watching the whole Marvel thing in the correct order.
And I hadn't seen Thor since it came out.
Like the chronological order, not the release order?
Correct.
So like Marvel first type stuff?
Well, Captain America first?
What's first?
Captain America's first.
Yeah, then Captain Marvel.
So there's a part where Loki is is locked in that that cage they've
got him in and black widow's trying to interrogate him and he calls her a mewling quim and i had
never caught that before and i know what a mewling quim means but i was just like maybe it means
something else of course i do but maybe for people in the audience.
It means a whiny cunt.
A quim means a cunt?
Quim means cunt, vagina, pussy. Yeah.
Mewling means whiny.
Yeah, I didn't know mewling, but quim?
Oh, I knew mewling.
I knew mewling.
I've never heard these terms before.
How did you come across these before this?
How did you ever come across these words in a sentence?
You muley quim
Yeah, you have to have debates with the gods
I think quim came from
Some sort of
British novel I read
It's an old timey word
Little quim
Or maybe it might even be in
It might have been in Game of Thrones as well They may have dropped a quim here and there I missed a qu be in Game of Thrones as well.
They may have dropped a Quim here and there as well.
I missed a Quim in Game of Thrones.
So add that to your repertoire, boys.
Quim.
You know, we're going to see if that flies on Twitch.
Oh, it'll fly.
Q-U-I-M, apparently.
Yeah.
Phonetic.
Loki's really tearing her down. He's like,
you mewling quim.
And I was like,
Whoa,
did he say that?
Quim.
Imagine how fun,
much funnier it would be if he's like,
I've never seen that movie,
but I imagine he's like tied up with magic bracelets or something.
So he can't break out.
Close enough.
Mewling quim.
He's like,
you fucking cunt.
I bet there's probably a cut where this is a pg-13 movie
yes you should get it you should give one of those a chance like like get like like just
try captain america the first avenger on for size what was the the one before the end game
it was um the infinity infinity wars Wars. I saw that one.
So don't act like I don't know what I'm talking about.
I saw Iron Man 1 in 2008.
Then I saw Deadpool.
And I think I saw an X-Man in there.
I think that's the same universe.
And Infinity War.
So I've got a pretty firm grasp on the character.
You're such a piece of shit.
I feel like Infinity War is a really fun and exciting movie but if you have the build-up leading up to
it it's really excellent thank you it would be like watching battle of the bastardo oh okay wait
it would be like watching battle of the bastards while not knowing what was at stake or who all
these people were like not not hating ramsey
sufficiently not loving john snow enough i was gonna say it's like just putting on a porno and
they're like mid bust i'm okay with that yeah sometimes i watch compilations i got things to do
what do we have what he's
just you know what he watches the entire Marvel series
in half an hour, just action, action, action.
No dialogue at all.
Yes, that's the compilation I was talking about.
I remember I watched Infinity War
and I said I didn't fully understand
what was going on at all,
but I thought it was entertaining.
It kept my attention for the most part.
I'll watch Guardians guardians i watch guardians
of the galaxy i really like guardians of the galaxy that's that's great so that that's great
but that's in a different vein and a different flavor from the the standard marvel universe
which evolved over time but i i strongly suggest you either try out captain america the first
avenger which is like the first one and if you like it you're you're already on good footing
to like keep stepping up i like i like thor ragnarok a lot yes ragnarok is excellent but i like the first thor i like the first thor like when he lands
and he's such a fish out of water and uh and natalie portman does such a good job of being
so giggly and like attracted to him and as he would be because he's just a god he's a literal
demigod who lands and he's just super ripped and gorgeous and he's just smiling all the
time and making all these funny little old timey
statements and she's just like
it's super
cute. It's cool. I like it.
I'll have to
revisit that because I got it.
When I did the MCU just a couple days
ago I literally skipped
Thor 1 and 2. Watched everything else
but I skipped Thor 1. Fuck Thor 2. Fuck Iron Man 3. I think fuck Thor days ago i literally skipped uh thor one and two watched everything else but fuck thor two fuck
thor two fuck iron man three i think fuck thor two so hard that i fucked thor one in the process
iron man three is the worst there's a thor one a thor two and a thor ragnarok which is correct
everybody gets three movies and every one of them makes a billion dollars these things
not literally everybody what he's like, I have documents.
Who's the new Captain America? The black guy?
The black guy
is the new Captain America. He's called Black Panther.
No, no. I can't think of his name.
He's the bird dude. The actor or
his character?
He's the Hawkman or whatever.
Falcon. Thank you.
Bird dude was pretty good.
Why did Captain America retire?
Why did he retire?
And you know what also sucks is that
guy who's coming in, how come he has to
be the same superhero?
How come he can't be his own superhero?
Because it is a mantle which must be upheld for all time.
It's a symbol.
He's like Batman.
He would never want to do that because then everybody in the Avengers is or whatever is going to be like you know he's all right but remember
remember the first captain african america what are we going to do see harley back me up i told
you not to say that anymore in the black in the comic books there's a black captain america right
they sort of go back and forth maybe in the in the comic books, if my memory serves me correctly,
that the guy who plays Falcon or the Falcon in the comics
and Bucky, the guy with the metal arm in the comics,
they each have comics where they've taken up the mantle.
So for people who read the comics,
when you were getting to that part of the movie,
you were like, oh, I wonder which guy is going to be the Captain America.
That's why Bucky's like, it looks good on you when he you know has the shield
i think bucky became captain america storyline i think bucky became captain america maybe in
the storyline where captain america was revealed to be part of hydra and then went super rogue
yeah and i like speaking of like different mantles and stuff like that,
I like the, there's, I've never read a comic or anything,
but there's, I collect the figures,
but I saw a figure, it's Punisher and War Machine as one.
So it's like Frank Castle, the Punisher,
in an Iron Man suit, the War Machine one
with like a billion guns,
and he's got like the skull painted on the front of it yo i'm like that's just that's just good synergy right there you know you ever watch that
youtube channel um comics explain that uh that guy who just breaks that we had him as a guest once
but uh he breaks down comics and he has such a passion for them that he's a pleasure to listen to
like he's just like and then captain america oh you're not gonna believe this he shows up wearing the green goblin costume
no one can believe it spider-man shits himself and i and you're just like this is the nerdiest
thing i've ever 45 minutes into the tony thought of that, and there were adult diapers built into the costume.
Yeah, yeah.
Thank God you and Woody were there for that episode interview thing, because all my questions, I'm like, all right, but who can punch the hardest?
That's a good question for him, because he makes videos like top ten strongest DC characters, top ten strongest um marvel characters and then he breaks them down into all the subcategories because there are magical characters and they're like spin-off characters
and alternate universe characters like most powerful weapons in the marvel universe like
he'll he'll break them down like he did break down the most powerful people and like there was some
like the equivalent of the valar and the lord of the rings like it's like oh but there's all the
superheroes but then there's like six spirit beings that hang out
in the ether and they
kind of control. And then there's the one above all.
Yeah, there's a whole one above. That's exactly
what I was thinking. The one above all. I remember that
card, like seeing that card as
a kid. It was just like a white
card with like this
like shape of a man with the universe
inside of it.
Yeah.
And he's the writer of the comic.
He's a stand-in, a metaphor
for... It's fun that the writer of the
comic put himself in as the most powerful
superhero, which isn't wrong, but
I like it.
He is, though.
Yeah, I see how he did it.
Superman's dead, and Batman too.
In terms of strength there's a natural progression where you have to keep ramping it up right you can
invent spider-man and have him struggle in a 1v2 fist fight with bank robbers right but as this
story keeps getting told the opponents have to keep getting higher and higher ranks.
So Spider-Man has to continue to rank up.
At the beginning, Superman has a hard time pushing a mountain.
And then you fast forward a little bit, and I'm making this up, but now he's lassoing the sun and twirling it around and tossing it at people.
He gets stronger.
Superman couldn't fly at first.
In Action Comics number one, the early versions, he leaps tall buildings and remember the old tagline tall buildings in a single bound
there's a reason he's leaping them and not just flying from one to the other fast enough to turn
the earth backwards in time they just kept making him better and stronger yeah you were talking
like i feel like people back then were just idiots though. They were like,
look at him leap. And people were like, hey, it's
flying at that point. I like how they
cast people that I
could beat in an arm wrestling contest to
be superheroes. Me against Adam
West, I got a good
shot at that. That fat
old dude that played Superman?
Literally. I could beat
the shit out of that one that fell off. Hang on
a minute. Adam West. I could beat the shit out of that one that fell off the wall. Hang on a minute.
Adam West.
I'm going to Google this.
I'll check myself. I'm going to say he's
6'4". Oh.
That changes things a bit. He might kick my ass.
He's dead.
I'm kidding.
He's only 6'2". My bad.
For some reason, I thought he was very tall.
Maybe it's Christopher Reeve.
You could arm wrestle Burt Ward.
About this high.
Yeah, yeah.
Christopher Reeve died at about four feet tall.
You guys were saying that one guy, the one above all, the lord above all, whatever.
6'4".
Who wrote himself into the series.
Yes.
There's a creepier version of this.
I remember I saw this a while back, this image macro.
I found it again.
There is a writer on the Powerpuff Girls movie or show or something
that writes himself into the show
and then writes a love arc with himself and Blossom,
one of the girl characters.
And it is so obviously the writer who's put himself in there
this guy is a next level loser that is insane i'm looking at it right now it's you're absolutely
right he's written himself in so that he can have a who is it he jerks off relationship with a
cartoon child that is so weird wait hold on a couple things here there's lots of things here
yeah there's a lot there's so much to, and I feel like we're speeding through this.
No, we don't need to.
This guy created the Power Puffs?
Or he's just a writer on it?
He's one of the writers for, I guess, the, like, a reboot of it.
So did he grow up loving the Power Puff girls?
I have no idea.
Was this his mission since 1994 or 95 or whenever that cartoon was first a cartoon, 98?
This could have been 12 years in the making, and he's doing this.
And wait, wait.
Are the Powerpuff Girls kids?
They're the Powerpuff Girls, not the Powerpuff Women.
I know.
It shows them.
Girl power applies to women, too.
So I don't know.
The beginning of the show is him making the cinnamon and spice and everything nice.
And then, oh, that's too much of ingredient X.
Now the children that I've created as a single man in my basement are going to be way stronger
than we anticipated which for them is a huge blessing this wait wait wait now they can defend
is that is that powerpuff girl canon that's that's what I remember from the intro sequence
okay so hold on a sec so they're only like a year old yeah yeah I think it's like it's kind of like um yeah they it's kind of like actually
it's like vision and marvel is matt he's like he's out here fucking and he's only two years he's only
two years old yeah so like i think when we're dealing with a thing it's not like it's a person
or it's different i just want to say because this goes two different ways yeah if it's uh if this little girl is it's fucked up it's weird it's crazy or whatever but the power
puff girl uh she looks significantly less human than him she's not even a human in my eyes when
i look at these pictures she look at her head it's like her eyes maybe weird she looks more like a
fly that's yeah but i kind of like i kind of like respect the fact and this
only applies if we are acknowledging that the powerpuff girl is a thing and it's not actually
a girl because look at her she's not drawing the show then i i i i'm just saying i'm just saying
look at her guys on a girl look at her pedophile talk folks this is how they rationalize things i'm just trying to say that like this guy said like hang on a minute epstein
more and steve oh shit weinstein it's all coming together i heard somebody say weinstein the other
day she doesn't even have a nose maybe furious she doesn't even have a nose. She doesn't even have a nose. I'm just saying, like, this guy had a dream.
He went out.
He, like, wrote himself into being the boyfriend of the Powerpuff Girl.
The cringiest one is the photo of the god of him.
It's major cringe, but it's god-respected what happened here.
I certainly don't.
And he made himself ripped, and then he's got, like, the child, like,
smiling up at him like he's the grand poobah.
Is it a child?
I don't know enough of Powerpuff Girls.
It fits in his hand.
How old are the Powerpuff Girls?
God, you're making me fucking do this.
First of all, in this photo, Woody, I don't know if you've shown this image, but bottom center, he has drawn.
First of all, the dude is a, he doesn't look like a powerful man.
Let's just leave it at that.
But he has drawn himself as literally Arnold Schwarzenegger, Mr. Olympia size and definition with the same glasses.
And the power puff girl, I don't know why that's hard for me to say, is so tiny. She's in the palm of his hand, literally, and her mouth is agape, and her pupils have been replaced with hearts.
And there is an answer I just found out.
Blossom is four and a half.
Oh, Jesus.
Oh, my God.
This is disgusting.
Oh, now you're on board.
Now you're on board.
100%.
Why does he look so dramatically different?
When I was four, I had a nose.
Harley's like, you know, they should call it
the Powderpuff Children then,
not the Powderpuff Girls.
You're right. That is a hard show to say.
I never watched it, but
I do remember that intro scene.
I watched it
like Rugrats and Doug.
Rugrats and Doug
were great. Peter was I liked Rugrats. Rugrats and Doug were great.
Patty Mayonnaise.
Peter was such a solid friend.
Best friend.
Peter was awesome.
Patty Mayonnaise needs to put out is all I'm saying.
Doug's been hanging around in the background for like eight seasons or something, not getting any.
I mean, there's better looking women in that show than Patty.
It's all about Patty Mayonnaise.
I'm glad you didn't ask me.
I hate what doug wears
yeah i'm not aware of any other female characters myself so i hate i hate what
i hate what doug wears in that show you know what i mean he's got that sweater vest on
i just fucking hate looking at what show are we even talking about
doug who's the bully from doug is that who you just said roger
that guy's he's so stereotypical with the leather jacket and everything.
Yeah, the green
sign.
For your help, Woody,
this cartoon is from 1991 or so.
You don't actually know Doug?
I don't know. Earning a living in the workforce.
I graduated high school in 91.
I was like 18.
Okay.
Cartoons weren't your forte
no i was chasing girls when doug was hot well i was five you're not saying you should have been
i'm just saying like you wouldn't expect me to have watched doug oh no i know i'm just like
throwing that in there's a little tiny tiny age difference yes uh did you guys ever watch
rocko's modern life yeah i loved it that was a grin and stim that was
that was the first show like i liked those shows and i laughed about rocco's modern life had this
one episode where rocco made his own video in it yes and it was the funniest thing i remember being
in my room like laughing so loud like to myself and i had that never that hadn't
happened yet that wasn't something that occurred like watching cartoons and like laughing yeah i
always just mindlessly enjoyed them but you remember like it wasn't a cartoon but i remember
like thinking that during family matters when urkel would say the line Did I do that?
Just six year old Taylor, that was the funniest
thing.
This is the peak. Life's downhill from here.
And because you're six, seven,
eight years old, it's just as funny every time.
I watched all those black sitcoms growing up.
I liked them all. I watched Fresh Prince
and Family Matters.
I watched the Queen Latifah fucking show.
I watched Martin.
Living single was sick.
In a 90s kind of world, I'm glad I've got my girls.
Put your head up.
Put your head up.
That's right.
It's funny.
When you said that, I thought I didn't like them.
But I actually liked all of them except Martin.
Martin just wasn't my cup of tea.
Forever shenanigans.
Come on.
Martin was good.
There was one where like,
I want to say Gina was like cutting her toenails or something.
And it like exploded and flew across the room.
And they like follow it through the air as it spins and like hits Martin in the head.
It was, you know, it was like mindless humor.
I remember Martin, it's been a while,
but I remember it being mostly about just like
someone does something dumb.
And then his facial reaction is, I can't believe how dumb this was.
And that was just a joke they retold 12 times a show every show.
Sure.
Yeah.
Wasn't into it.
And I just want to correct the Superman thing.
He's actually tougher than I thought he was.
George Reeves is the one I'm talking about.
He's not modern day Hollywood buff, but he's a regular person.
Pretty buff.
Yeah.
I guess I just thought he was kind of lame because I'm used to steroid Thor's now.
This is before that.
Who plays, what's his name?
I'm spacing out that plays Superman.
Now the guy from Henry Cavill, maybe Henry Cavill.
Yeah.
Okay.
I saw Derek on more.
I get you close. You nailed it. You nailed it. Henry Cavill, maybe? Henry Cavill, yeah. Okay. I saw Derek on More Place. It's an alley-oop, Kyle.
I get you close.
You nailed it.
You nailed it.
That's one of the ones that he doesn't believe was on steroids for the role,
was Henry Cavill.
Sorry.
He's just like, yeah, he's not even that big.
I mean, he's barely fit.
He's not that big, right?
He's barely fit.
He's got a fucking badass six-pack and a massive pack of delts that come out.
And he's like, he's kind of fat, right?
Is that what you guys all think?
It's like, oh, I should be so fat.
Yeah.
I love when Derek reviews somebody who's just like, he's trying to be like, oh, is this guy on steroids or not?
And he's just like, I mean this guy on steroids or not and he's just like i mean come on look at it
it was like uh the guy that plays captain america chris um is it evans i think it's chris evans
yeah look at chris evans and he's like i mean he had a nice base already and what do you pack on
five pounds of muscle ah clearly not on anything look they're just trying to make him big look big here he's wearing
a medium-sized under armor and he barely looks fit i'm just like i'm like that's fucking captain
america he says about captain america it blows me away like he barely looks fit like ah like
makes all of them look like a bitch yeah yeah he's's the Delt God. He's the Delt God. I like him.
I still watch his stuff.
I don't follow a lot of it.
He's really science-y.
And I need him to dumb it down for me a touch.
Yeah, I like him a lot.
But I start every video.
Yeah, go check him out. More Flates, More Dates.com.
His YouTube channel is More Flates, More Dates.
It's some really entertaining shit.
Oh, he has a domain too?
I'll put that in the show.
Yeah, he writes little articles on there, breaks things down.
I wonder if I'd like it in written form even more.
Anyway, I'm getting off topic.
Perhaps.
There's pictures there too.
No, I...
Look for the big words.
I'm telling you.
Yeah, he's the delt god um
it's just those they're big words and they're big new words to me and yeah you know he uses
these adjectives or i guess verbs like this one's more androgenic and i'm like ah that's
it sure is yeah come on get to something a little more advanced i think
yeah he was uh he was talking about ronnie coleman today for people who don't know ronnie
coleman was uh like mr olympia for for many years running he's probably one of the most
gargantuan human beings that's ever lived uh enormous black guy just google ronnie coleman
he was on rogan uh either today or yesterday and uh he was talking about he was saying that he was
natural competing in mr olympia and all these, uh,
bodybuilding competitions up until he's 30.
And,
and,
and,
and Derek is looking at this guy's pictures,
like leading up to when he's 30 and then right after.
And he's like,
yeah,
I mean,
I guess I believe it.
Cause he just exploded after that.
This guy just has the greatest genetics of all time.
Apparently Ronnie Coleman, uh, all time, apparently. Ronnie Coleman
in 1998,
Mr. Olympia,
I want to say, is when he's at his
biggest, he's getting close to
300 pounds.
5'11", 297
pounds. That is an enormous amount.
And like 3% body
fat at the most.
It's something.
For real, 3?
Ronnie claims less than 1%.
And I saw Greg Doucette talking about this.
He claims that it's possible that he used the hydrostatic underwater weighing system to get his body fat and because his bones are so dense as an african-american power
athlete as they would be that yeah it could come out to less than one percent but factually like
we got all the visceral fat and the fat on his organs there's no way but still it's less than
five it's less than five it is uh you know for like just gonna pay homage your uh phil heath
is a guy who's been you know winning over, you know, he's been competing over the last, I guess, like 12.
I don't know how long he's been competing, but he's won many titles.
And yeah, he's I guess his nickname is the gift or he's referred to himself as the gift that people call.
But if you look at him, he like looks like those Photoshop pictures.
What's his name again?
Get Phil Heath. if you look at him he like looks like those photoshop pictures what's his name like get phil heath yeah he looks like those photoshop pictures like on facebook old facebook ads where
it was like someone was like super like puffed out muscles oh god look at this guy yeah he's just
like he's like 240 he looks like he's gonna explode he really is he has. His abs are interesting.
He doesn't have ab definition.
More plates, more dates can explain that.
I forget what it is.
But do you see this guy's at like 0% body fat,
but he doesn't have defined abs really.
You talking about the muscle inserts?
I don't think I'm talking about muscle inserts.
I think I'm talking about a...
What do you mean?
This guy has abs though.
Let me give you the picture that i'm i see a picture of him here and his belly looks like a turtle's back yeah oh
yeah that's exactly what it looks yeah i think more plates i forget where i read the explanation
for this that there's like a maybe that's what a zero body fat bubble gut looks like like the bubble gut yeah that
like they have to flex it like you can see at other times in his career even now he doesn't
have abs that you'd think oh he has like a four pack at best in some of these it's interesting
yeah he it looked his head doesn't look like it is real
like the way it fits on his body it looks like it's been photoshopped onto his body he looks
like someone's vacuum sucked his skin like you know taylor you you've we've talked about this
before about like how big that you think is ideal to be if you could switch place if you could have
this body would you opt for that as just a regular?
You would take that.
Yeah.
Think of how much laziness I can get away with before I'm back down to just enormous guy.
That's what.
Yeah.
Someone asked me if I would rather have a perfect body or a perfect head of hair.
And I chose the hair because if you gave me a perfect body, I just fuck it up anyway oh that's a good no but i would i would have a great 10 months
bullying people every whatever day bullying people and then just going home and eating
boxes of cheez-its burgers hot dogs whatever you want that'd be it's it's interesting like
comparing these kind of guys,
like the bodybuilding guys,
their bodies to the power lifting guys.
Cause I,
I've never really watched any bodybuilding stuff.
I'm a lot more interested by the power lifting videos.
And it's like Eddie hall,
this giant motherfucker.
He's like six,
four,
300 or 400 pounds.
Like they look heavy.
Like they just look fat,
you know, not, not it's the kind of fat
where it's like if you just saw a belly shot you'd be like oh man somebody enjoys their their beer
but if you pan up and like see how enormous the pecs traps everything it's like oh that guy
can probably throw a civic 10 yards do you see he lost a bunch of weight eddie hall
in retirement good Good for him.
Yeah, he's still super strong.
I'm going to give you a link.
Yeah, him and Brian Shaw.
He's a real good one too.
But his body actually looks pretty good now.
So people watching this, on the left.
It looks like a real Marvel comic.
On the left, that's him in competitive shape that's what he looked like
when he won world's strongest man that guy is enormous on the right that's what he looks like
in retirement he even has it it's weird how he like i feel like you could stab him and it's okay
look at that gut and it's okay which one he's six all right this guy has the dumbest tattoo
i've ever seen in my life Alright look in the picture
Where he's fit now
I'm not about to start insulting this guy
I'll insult him I don't care
What's he gonna do
You better hope he's not gay
You're a pussy Eddie Hall
Come get me
You can't scratch your own back, you big pussy.
So he's got these tattoos.
You just have to run in serpentine.
They have trouble changing.
Come see me when you can wipe your own ass.
So look at these tattoos on his chest, on his pecs.
So there's some sort of Japanese symbols or something,
but they're mirrored.
That's the part you hate?
Think about what it says.
These are words.
I don't know what the word is, but let's just say it means unity.
Imagine the word unity on the left pack.
And then you mirror it, which is just gibberish, not even real letters on the right pack.
You can't mirror words.
It doesn't work that way.
It's a word.
It's not just a shape that you mirror so that it's symmetrical.
So basically it even says here, it says,
anyone has a single character tattooed on his chest on the left pectoral.
The character reads the correct way on the right. It's mirred it means power force strength or ability why not just get it once
written the right way because he's a he's a sucker for symmetry yeah a smart guy like him i'm so
surprised he is smart i see where you went there but if you you listen to him. It's not what I hear, Woody.
If you listen to him, though, I like it when athletes do that.
Arian Foster did that on this show, too. Before I heard anything from Arian Foster, I guess I thought one of the league's best running backs wasn't going to be one of the league's better scholars.
And then you hear him and you're like, oh, damn.
I came in.
I was wrong. Eddiedie hall i saw i
thought the same thing i thought that he'd be i see you smiling i know what i'm doing it's all
cool and we're friends now arian and i when i say his name oh oh yeah yeah yeah that's what i was
thinking about yeah so eddie hall same sort of thing uh that's I said his name right yeah yeah Eddie Hall
fine fuck it I'm moving on
Eddie Hall same thing
I guess I thought that
you know he'd be kind of
not interesting to hear from
but what am I missing up
why is everyone laughing and leaving me out here
drowning
I'm not laughing at you I'm just tickled by the whole thing
I'm still thinking about I'm having my own little private joke I'm not laughing at you i'm just tickled by the whole thing i'm still thinking
about you know all right my own little private joke i'm not laughing at you i promise so uh
eddie hall gave a good interview and i he's smarter than i thought he was so that's where
i was headed with that it's pretty cool yeah just i can't get over the size of that unit
in that left side of the photo the belly really insane and it's six three really
yeah that's like a lot of human crazy i like that belly's important for leverage with some of the
lifts they do like like uh i think they use that a lot for like um some of those atlas considered
that the bar up or like the boulder thing on top of the atlas stone in particular and the kegs i
would imagine that a big protruding
belly like that would be yeah so i probably most people have seen stone man but this is how it
works they have to pick up like a big sphere super heavy and put it on a pedestal that pedestal is
about nipple high so if you if you have a washboard stomach it's all arms if you can just get it on
your belly and then tip it up,
you'd get your whole body involved.
I didn't think of that.
I bet it helped.
That makes sense.
But also, I feel like the sheer amount of muscle mass these guys have to put on,
they have to be eating just ludicrous amounts of food.
So getting 10,000 calories a day, 6 to 8 meals a day,
their shitting schedule has to be off the
chain it's got to be outrageous and the way this guy's shits are ridiculous dude everything is that
big iceberg it crests the surface he has to open his ass he has to open it i wonder how much
steroids they do because it it's come to my attention lately that a lot of these super athletes,
and this is from More Plates, More Dates, too,
don't take outrageous amounts of steroids.
That, like, just getting yourself to, if a teenager has 800 on the high end,
getting yourself to, like, 12 or 1300 is a lot.
It's not normal.
But you don't have to do,
like if you just 50% above a normal person and you have good genetics, amazing things happen.
You don't have to double and triple to get these results.
Yeah, there's diminishing results with that.
What are you talking about doubling and tripling?
I don't understand.
Testosterone levels.
We have a guy in our PKA Hangout.
Sign up for the patreon down below
if you're 50 remember you get hang out that was for four hours just chilling and asking questions
it's a really good time it honestly is uh we do it every month um but there's a guy in there who
does uh testosterone and maybe trend as well trend alone and uh his his levels are super physiological, upwards of 1,300 or 1,400.
And he's pretty jacked.
He is.
And, yeah, he's also low body fat.
He looks good.
He looks like a superhero.
High bone density kind of guy, if you know what I mean.
That's what the steroids really help with is putting on muscle and losing losing fat that's the most commendable thing that like i know taylor you said you like the strong lifting shit i love that too but i really
like the the the bodybuilding like i used to like really like be into that like ever since i saw
pumping iron i was like whoa interesting world and I watched that. I forget the one with Phil Heath and Kai Green.
And then that guy on YouTube, Kalem,
and all that stuff is just so interesting.
It's like you look at it and it's like,
this is like if we work on our body as hard as we can
and if we took the most advanced medical information,
what is the final result?
And it's literally these like ninja turtles you know
what i mean i uh do you like the physique competitions those are my favorite i'm getting
little gay here on you i i like i like watching them pick up the heaviest shit i like when they
that's cool i see i see like i like the big shit because i'm like well this guy like i i'm just
looking at this guy i'm like yeah i'd love to see him pick up shit and throw it around,
you know,
but there's something so trippy about these guys where there's so much
muscle that their muscle has muscle and they're trying to like flex them
all.
And then he's like,
you got them on stage and they're all smiling and do it.
It's just a weird ass fucking sport.
It's a mesmerizing sport.
I like the physique guys. They target what I consider perfect, right?
And I think the world of bodybuilding considers that like the amateur league.
Sometimes people graduate from physique.
I hear you.
Try and do it because it's that, but now add 150 pounds somewhere.
For me, though, the physique guys are the end goal, right?
You know, if it was
if it was bow and arrow the bodybuilders they over penetrate or something like it's not even
what you want but no the physique guys like that's that's the body i would like to have before i fuck
it up in three months dude if you're gonna be a physique guy like this picture eddie hall on the
right even with his stupid ass japanese shit the one on the right the post weight loss i would much rather look like
that than ron the ronnie coleman you were telling me earlier taylor that you thought that you could
beat up eddie hall i given certain provisions if i have the high ground and uh and i get a sword
then i might have a chance yeah you know what i would do that
normally i wouldn't agree with you but i would take it if i get his strength too
oh if i get a strength and i have a sword in the high ground of course
if i get his strength that's all he has over me is being bigger and stronger
no i meant like if like we're rather than ronnie coleman or this guy which body would
you prefer i would take this guy if i can get a strength i would even take the fat belly version
if i get his strength oh if i get i'm not gonna imagine what it would be like i would just be
walking up to parking oh man i think no spots near the front of the grocery store i guess i'll move
this car no yeah i agree so much on this It's better to look strong than be strong.
How often does strength come into play in your life?
I want everyone in every room that I walk into to be terrified.
You make a great point.
I remember when I was working out a lot and I was quite fit for myself,
people would be like, oh, you got to help me move and stuff like that.
And I'm like, no.
And they're like, my fridge, my couch, it's heavy.
I'm like, I can't help you.
They're like, but you go to the gym all the time.
I'm like, yeah, I don't want to hurt myself.
Moving your shit couch.
I got to go to the gym all the time.
I'm not going to use my muscle outside of the gym.
Once you get to a certain threshold of bigness, like Eddie Hall has,
you think any of his friends are ballsy enough to
ask him to help move? No.
So you escape that by getting big enough.
No, if I'm Eddie Hall's friend, I'm like, you look
like you're designed for picking shit up. As a matter of fact,
you are one of the world's best at picking
shit up. You know, a couple years ago, you literally
were. So how about you hop on over
and grab this. You know, with any of the rest of my friends,
I have to take the water out of the fish tank first.
But with you, just carry on. Eddie, help me me i've got 15 kegs i need to get moved
but this guy this guy like the second one in particular that's the actual target not at all
different these are two different guys though yeah yeah oh yeah these are all different the
bottom the bottom guy is is much bigger than the top guy yeah like when you're
talking what you're talking about you're talking about the top guy this bottom guy now you're in
jacked around they photoshop the other guy's face onto this what the fuck is the tanning
it's not tanning they do that because that looks absurd it does it does i don't know why they don't
i don't know why they don't do the face also just just to complete it either of these guys
either of these guys are closer to what i consider the target than eddie hall but these guys i gotta
say like these guys are very different like the bottom guy would be crazy insulted if he knew
that you were saying him and this guy versus that guy i know for sure he'd be like are you
fucking great he'd be like i'm 80 pounds heavier than that you think i look like ryan weber yeah yeah that's that's what i
know what you're saying ryan weber looks like you i'm gonna kill you then he's going to avoid rage
but but if you're gonna look at this bottom guy here then you have to pull up like classic arnold
schwarzenegger in his heyday and tell me like that's not if you're going to be this bottom guy
you might as well go all the way
and just be like I'll try I'll see
like yeah I mean Schwarzenegger
in his heyday that's like
yeah it's just it's just
like which Schwarzenegger right like
like like even when he's 16
in that black and white photo where he's flexing
oh yeah he's so big he's
so big at 16 when he's flexing.
Like 20.
When I first saw that and I was choked.
Oh my gosh.
Is it Schwarzenegger a lot bigger than the guy I linked?
Oh yeah.
Yeah.
I'm just saying if you started at Ryan Weber and then you went to that guy,
I'm kind of like,
Hey,
why not go one step further at that?
You're already there is it
connor murphy what's the guy's name who uh yeah connor murphy who no plates no dates is always
fussing it uh i don't know who connor murphy is all right i think i do you're about to this guy
takes his shirt off yeah the ice hockey defenseman there's's another one. He takes his shirt off.
Have you seen the drama between Greg Doucette and AthleanX?
No.
No.
He's looking good.
Oh, man.
That guy looks like a laboratory experiment.
Are we talking about Connor Murphy?
Yeah, the one you just linked.
He's kind of like perfection there. He great he looks great yeah he looks it looks like if you walked
by an abercrombie and fitch and he was a guy in blue jeans you'd be like that's a good yeah he
should be spray painted chrome with his head cut off and he would fit right into that store window
he still looks great but not quite as perfect i think he backed off the steroids a touch.
More Plates, More Dates has a thing on it.
Like you could see his hairline receding,
which is a,
I guess that's a steroid thing.
So he backed off the steroids
or maybe he's also had some mental issues.
He spent some time at a psych ward.
Cool.
He spent a couple of weeks in there
because he's struggling.
But body-wise, he's doing great.
Mental health is badass.
So Greg Doucette has been going after AthleanX.
So what happened was –
Who's Greg Doucette?
He's another one of those YouTubers that fits into the same category as More Plates, More Dates and AthleanX.
So Athlean is late 40s and um all natural and uh no steroids i'm blocked from greg doucette i don't know who
you are i went to his twitter how the fuck did this happen you're fucked up son so uh greg has a super annoying voice um and uh he rants a lot
and he attacks other youtubers a good bit because it's you know it's good business if you're if
you're if you like that sort of thing and uh but but he was i guess in a q a uh someone asked him
about athleanx using fake weights in his video and uh and he's like yeah i saw it whatever who cares and uh but
but he hadn't seen the full clip of athlean using fake weights and there's this clip of athlean
yeah yeah he uses fake weights um because you can see him saying that he's uh dead lifting
around 500 pounds and it's clearly not happening that way like like if you've ever seen my somebody
deadlift 500 pounds it's a scary thing and that athlete's like 175 pounds you know he's not
deadlifting 500 pounds he's just not did he do it way too easily way too easily like like the bar
didn't the bar didn't even seem to flex it was was 500 pounds. In any case, Greg's like, yeah,
it looks like he's using fake weights. And if he would use fake weights, what else would he lie about? I'm going to say he's on steroids. And so he calls Athlean out for being on steroids.
Athlean comments on that video, like 30 minutes after it's uploaded and challenges Greg to a drug
test. He's like, fly down here. No, better yet, I'll fly you
down here. I'll stand up to any drug test you want to put me under. And I'll tell you what,
you talked about how much money I make. So let's bet one of the 10 million you claim I make per
year on this. And the loser pays the other one $1 million and closes their YouTube channel down.
The only question I have for you,
what airline do you prefer?
I was like, oh, fuck.
That's great.
That's pretty good.
So what happened?
You know, the guy's a troll.
He just, he's not going to,
Greg responds to that by saying,
so he commented on my video.
Why did he do that?
He didn't comment on any of these other videos calling him out.
He just wants attention.
He just twists it around.
You may think that this is indicative of his willingness
to go through with the test.
I explicitly recommend it.
That's not what you're saying here, folks. What you're saying here
is a deliberate obfuscation of reality.
Yeah. He's a troll.
You don't respond to trolls. He's a troll. You don't respond to trolls.
He's a troll.
He wanted the attention of Athlean.
Athlean posted that comment.
Now some of his viewers get directed over
to a Greg Doucette video.
80% will hate Greg,
but 20% will be intrigued
and 10% will stay forever.
It's profitable for Greg.
If Athlean X uses fake weights
in order to show like,
in order to be able to talk during the video and like do the exercise with the perfect form and everything i really don't
give a shit i don't watch him because he's a power lifter i watch his videos if i'm like shit i don't
i would rather because his credibility is how i do the bent over row his credibility is his currency
right and also he does a lot i watch a lot of athlete next he does a lot of stuff where he's
like dude i can give you a great workout with seven and a half pounds and he's doing some weird
thing and he's always sort of stressing low injury rates low lifting weights and stuff like that
for him to use fake weights i'm like why why would you do that? He's like, I have a five pull-up thing where it's going to kill you.
And I'm like, five pull-ups bring the noise.
Each one takes 60 seconds.
I'm like, wait, what?
That's a lot of time under tension.
It's an 11-minute video.
Hey, y'all, pull-ups, do them slower.
Thanks for watching.
Remember to subscribe to the channel.
But I'm saying if he was using fake wage with kyle from what you're saying it's pretty much confirmed that he was like if he would have just come out
and said like yeah you notice like i'm not this is actually only 150 pounds it's not the 350 that
you would normally use and that's because i'm trying to demonstrate form and if you see that
you if you're getting too high in weight you don't want to ego lift so always go lower and be safer make sure you're whatever it would be like no one
would give a shit about that why hide that kind of stuff because it's gonna come out yeah i'm with
you you ever see buff dudes i watch buff dudes i used to love those guys when i got into working
out they were awesome buff dudes buff dudes have like two minute videos where they teach form. And sometimes I need it.
Sometimes I show it to Colin.
And you watch them deadlift with like, I don't know, 45s on each side or 25s or an empty bar.
And when they show bad form, it's super.
It's so much more responsible to do that.
And I think it's even bad culture to be like 800 pounds.
Like do what's comfortable.
I think there's a lot of pride and ego to get to
that point to do that. And I think when you're dealing with something like this, you get into
like, you know, this, this is just something that that I'll, I just feel people need to be
responsible with it. Like, even if you're on steroids, I think transparency with steroids
is a good thing. People should know that you have an edge or
you're cheating. I think people's expectations of what they can get might be discouraging when
they go to the gym and they see these guys not realizing that half the guys at their gym might
be on steroids. A lot of those guys that look really good at the gym might be doing a little
something. I always respected the people the the youtubers and stuff that were open
even if i looked at them and i was like god damn i would never do that in a million years how the
fuck are you doing it was fascinating and i think it's educational you know like uh there's that
documentary bigger faster stronger if you guys ever seen it yeah it's a great great documentary
just all about steroids and stuff like that and uh you know it's interesting they
make the comparison to like it like you know even tiger woods with laser eye surgery so he has like
better than 2020 vision like is that not sports enhanced you know like i didn't know about that
i guess it actually is i didn't know i got mine checked the other day i uh one of the doctor 2010
still really i can read the bottom line and zip across. I forget my
number, but it's obviously different
than it used to be. I think I'm hanging out
in the left eye, my bad eye.
Like,
minus 7.5.
Oh my god.
My good eye is like a
minus 6.5. You're blind.
Are you worried you won't
be able to get a driver's
license at some point well i have i do have a special thing printed on there that it's illegal
for me to drive without visual aid that's normal kyle it's called a class a restriction and lots
of people have it you're disabled i mean i can stay more shit i love that you went straight there
sweet as a disabled person let me do the
whole trump report handy america yeah no i uh yeah the eyes are going downhill we'll see hopefully
i'm not like blind by the time i'm 50 all right did you tell us that you can't get the laser
surgery because your like corneas are too thin or something they uh my current eye
doctor said he didn't recommend it because i was like last time i went was maybe a year
year or so ago and once again my eyes got worse not as bad of a drop as the previous one but still
got a little worse and i was like yeah i'm just kind of happy i'm in my late 20s now so i can i
can start pursuing that lasik and he's like yeah. Maybe not the right option for you, though.
Not a lot of room to play with in your corneas.
And I was like, oh, man, I've only been like thinking about this surgery since I learned
it was a thing when I was six.
So I'm apparently, though, if I get a really good doctor to do it, they'll still do it.
But I'm not going to try to go around with it.
Not a lot of room in your corneas.
What does that mean?
I genuinely don't know.
I don't think he said not a lot of room,
but it was like a thin cornea
or there was something with it
that he said it would be a little more difficult,
but he didn't go into like,
oh, it's impossible.
He didn't specify the level of difficulty.
Is this, oh, it's going to take that doctor
an extra eight minutes to work around this
or if it's, no, don't do this very bad yeah
my mom had uh lasik like my mom 15 years great mine didn't my mother's lasik failed it didn't
work like like she she got the surgery not at all there was no improvement she's blind as a
bat she has to wear glasses huh yeah my my mom got it done and she had perfect like 2020 vision for about five years
afterward and then over the course like the next i guess 10 years at this point it was you know
slowly ticking down till she needed like reading glasses but even then like i would i would gladly
take that shit yeah my dad and plus i don't know how to compare her now 15 years later i think to the
hypothetical version of her that never had it yeah that's true and that's very true yeah i i never
really brought yeah i feel like a retard that makes sense my dad's been reading with glasses
since like he was 50 something probably early 50s but he um his like long distance side is still
pretty excellent dude long distance if
i took my contacts out right now i wouldn't be able to actually no i would know i would i would
be able to tell where what he was because i would see like two maybe a little bit of red blur behind
him i would know where kyle was because he's usually all the way on the left and I would have no idea who we had for a guest on the show.
Jesus Christ.
It's so nice.
Dude, you should get that surgery. Let me tell you some of the things
that I get to see that you'll never see.
This is like
explaining colors to a blind man.
Taylor, hummingbirds are real. No kidding.
I remember
that profile picture of you shooting sporting clays,
right?
How well can you see them?
Do you wear glasses when you shoot?
Oh, always.
Glasses are contacts.
I have to.
Can you see the pellets hit the skeet and it fracture and turn into powder?
I can only see the fracture.
I can't actually see stuff hit it.
I can see the pellets in the air.
Yeah, I can't see that.
It's beautiful. Not even see that it's beautiful it's beautiful it's like a plane was a bird the other day it's like a sunrise coming up cresting over a woman's labia all right it's the greatest thing you've ever seen
have you ever seen a mishmash of lights coming off of every single stop sign on the highway.
I used to think that was something everybody got like the halo effect.
Apparently that's not everybody with bad vision gets that.
But like,
uh,
Harley,
I don't know.
Do you have normal vision?
Good vision.
I get that.
I get that on my,
which you just started describing.
I got my left eye,
like on the top left part.
It's kind of like, it's like, I could just, if it, if kind of like it's like i could just if it if i just
it's like a bit blurry and the weirdest thing is if i like push my eye in a bit it's good
and like yeah i went to the doctor and they said that uh it's like that it's like not perfectly
round up there it's just a little little dense of sorts that developed or whatever.
And then they gave me a prescription for glasses.
And I literally tried on like 40 pairs of glasses and they all,
I looked like such a fucking,
I looked like such a Jew.
I couldn't forget it.
I was just blurry.
I literally looked like this.
I looked like this Jew that wrote himself into the power puff girl.
That's what I look like. You might be surprised be surprised you know you're used to your look but other people are not they're they're open to new looks that that you're not you know that
glasses are sized and last time i went and bought new glasses i had to go all the way to the end
and most of the way down because the ones that like i picked i was by
myself you know it's very not fun doing these purchases without a girlfriend there because
they usually are just like oh that looks good it looks bad makes it fucking easy i hate to take it
too long and i had to like grab one of the one of them bitches working there at the costco i counter
being like hey what do you think of these she's like like, I definitely like the frame shape. Let's see if we have a larger one.
That's what you need.
Well, we use these for blind farm animals.
And then we just went over there and just kept trying them on,
and eventually we got all the way to whatever the almost largest size is.
There was a size size maybe even two sizes
that were like who's this for what a loser i'm here on on second and a half largest frame in
america yeah who's this guy for one spot bitch yeah i got that but uh oh another thing carly
you were talking about astigmatism that's another fucked up thing i had with my eye
i had to get for years I didn't have this
my eye doctor didn't recommend it to me
and my left eye was always getting like
blinky and like watery red
like not that comfortable and he's like oh yeah
did your other doctor ever tell you
do you have astigmatism that just means
it's nothing serious it just means that your eye
is not shaped right the right one
shaped well left one not so much
and I was like okay what's that mean he goes alright
we're going to put you on this more expensive lens only in your left eye called the toric lens
and what it does is every time i blink it rotates the lens a little bit on my eye to always keep it
centered so that it doesn't drift off into the weeds yeah the lens has got to be sort of up long
in some way yeah and so it like is always spinning in there.
It sounded weird, but you can't feel it or anything.
I have double vision.
So I need to put a special effort to like take the images and combine them.
If I'm lazy, it's like, fuck it.
I'll just pick one and ignore the other.
So my glasses have prisms built into them that know i'm looking over here and it directs
it and brings it back on focus so i can look at like words and stuff really low effort while i
wear glasses because the wonders of modern technology can you imagine yeah light them up
can you imagine how many blind fucks there used to be like just you'd get to 30 and you'd just be
like effectively blind or are we devolving right or are we like that it used to be that people like taylor
and i would just not live long enough to procreate that would happen too and and now
they would have been like ah growing boy put him on the grain mill
even even just the the advancements the age of 12 mirrors, like using mirrors to bounce inside there.
Like just, when we first made mirrors,
we were like, wow, let's jerk off in front of this.
And that was it.
And now we're like, no, we're going to use these to see better.
Damn, I can see what my own asshole looks like.
It's called the Wheel of Pain, and it's from Conan the Barbarian.
Do you remember that?
When they put Conan on the, like he grew up he is his family is killed like right off the bat and uh and he's captured
and turned into a slave pushing the grain wheel and it's like him and like a donkey and he's on
one end the donkey's on the other and he's just walking in a circle and and there's like a time
lapse that goes from him being 12 to him being 25. And you just see him just getting bigger and bigger and bigger.
He's so strong from pushing that.
It also goes like 30 minutes into the movie,
and he hasn't said a word at that point.
He couldn't speak very much English.
No, I know.
He was learning English as the movie went on.
Or a donkey, whatever.
A burro.
Yeah, that's what would have happened to me with my eyes.
I remember i must have
drove for three or four years and always just thought like man driving at night sucks because
it's just you come up to a light and it was just you see the light it's i'm trying to describe it
to people who have normal vision like if this is the light it's not like there's a halo necessarily
around it like like spaced halos it's just huge
spiky tendrils like the sun beams of light and for me they would get the the longer it went between
me getting my glasses and my contacts updated the bigger those would get and it would get to the
point that like you know if there's you know a line of red lights or a line of greens it would
just be a bleeding almost bar of of light that you would see and then everybody every
time somebody breaks to be like oh that's annoying then i got that fixed for the most part it's still
there because i guess there's no way to totally get rid of it and it was night driving became so
much more of a pleasure it was it's stressful i have something similar right it's not quite the
light show that you describe but you have a light and then some vertical beams that go above and
maybe above and below and for me it's like huh how long have those been there like i feel like
that hasn't been my entire life this is something that faded into existence for me yeah let me uh
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Yeah.
It's easy to quantify, but I don't know.
It dawned on me, like, fuck, that's a lot of money.
Yeah, when we go on vacations
and we're primarily eating through Postmates,
like, you can easily get to $100 of delivery fees.
Like, we'll order, like, three times a day
or something like that,
every meals or through that.
And you know,
we're getting high as a motherfucker.
So as a Canadian,
it's one of my favorite parts about coming to the States,
like over the last three,
three years or so as postmates,
like when I was just like,
there were things like I would be,
I would be working on set and I'd have to go somewhere else and i would like host mates like a usb hub from best buy to my next location and like the
guy will call me and he's like yo what's up harley so i'm here we got all these different uh usb hubs
the exact one you have isn't here but they got one with like four inputs or do you want the one
with two you know and i'm like this is such a crazy service and then it comes through and it's like you know
you you get what you pay for but it's like such a crazy helpful service like you know near me
auto zone is on postmates like and it makes perfect sense because like if your car's not
working you need a carburetor your postmates a carburetor it's i thought that was
awesome amazing yeah it is um yeah and i just like that you could just whatever anything um i
like i literally i've postmates t-shirts i postmates underwear like i was just like oh man
like you know like i i didn't pack properly i was in the states and i was like oh postmates
and i'm like while they're while they're going and getting me underwear,
I can grab a couple t-shirts since
I'm already paying for the delivery. Like, I'll just
get t-shirts too. And then it's
just like weird. It's just, I
don't know. Yeah, I guess in my head, Postmates
meant food, but it doesn't.
It means all sorts of things. No, I mean
delivery. Yeah, delivery. Like, that's
the beauty of it. It's like anything. Like, they'll
like, go get you papers or like batteries. Like, delivery. That's the beauty of it. It's like anything. They'll go get you papers or batteries.
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If you want my personal recommendation as a non-doctor,
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The Tadalafil lasts for around 36 hours in my experience, at least.
You've definitely got some diminishing returns after 48 hours,
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And like the thing says, it's a performance-enhancing drug.
It's going to make your dick harder.
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I was impressed.
You're going to have so much fun fucking. I was impressed you're gonna have so much fun fucking I was I was getting there
I mean I think I speak for all three of us
the control erections that the three
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not nearly as strong as
the three post blue chew erections
yes
and we did our
we did our own independent
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awkward holding the cup but i mean i was like i can't get my mouth open
i have a new topic absurd yeah what do. Yeah, what do you got? Relationship advice. This one caught my eye the other day.
I got to pee real bad, and I want to hear this.
Oh, okay.
Jump on over and take a piss real quick.
Why don't you kill some time for like 30 seconds while I piss and get some more water?
How's your dick, Harley?
Honestly, you got to send me some of that.
Like, let me get in on that.
See, we can't send free samples because it's a pharmaceutical product.
You have to sign up.
Can I get it in Canada?
Oh, yeah.
You can have a hard-dicking canner.
I know you can.
Trust me. I know you can.
If not, you guys live in a fascist state.
That is bullshit. If you can't get
dick pills delivered to your door,
that guy fucking knows he's got to go.
I don't know if we can get your dick pills,
but I might have to
place myself in order.
They're all made in India, right?
For the most part. It said they're made in America.
I don't know.
It said something about America.
Blue Chew, I'm sure, is.
The kind that if they can't get Blue Chew
in Canada. Can you get Blue Chew in Canada?
We should know this.
I don't want to get it.
Oh, this might be specific to a Groupon deal.
It says no Canada.
I'm not 100% sure.
I don't want to get it wrong.
I'll look into it.
Well, if you're not allowed to get it in Canada,
I'm sure when you're trying to do the order placement,
it won't work.
But I think it is available in Canada. I'm sure when you're trying to do the order placement, it won't work. But I think it is available in Canada.
If you actually want some...
Were you saying
there was a legality?
Just if I can get it in Canada.
I'm sure if Fluchu offered service in Canada, and I was saying
they probably do, I would guess.
If they don't, I can help you.
You're going to help me get
hired, eh?
I'm not sure if he's sending pills or pictures but either way
CC me
tribute
you guys ready
I 31 year old male
told my girlfriend
30 year old female that she's not a trophy wife or status symbol and that we are similar in attractiveness.
She views it as me calling her old and ugly.
So here we go.
This guy's stock is rising.
A bit of background.
My girlfriend and I are 30 and 31.
We've been dating for about a year.
I work as a high-level engineer at a good firm, and my girlfriend works as a payroll specialist at a good firm too. I make significantly more than her three times. Things were good in our
relationship until I showed her my retirement slash savings. She now doesn't see the point
of working and has started framing our relationship in that she is the beautiful one. Am I in the
nerdy engineer that's lucky to have her? Before when we met,
it was all about making her own way. Eventually, she was starting her own company with her sister
in sourcing and recruiting, but now she jokes about driving a Range Rover and wearing Lululemon
and going to yoga. We were going to have a discussion again about this trophy wife stuff,
and she brought up that I was nerdy back in the day while she was very popular.
I told her she's not a trophy wife,
that yes, she's attractive,
but there's not a huge difference between us.
I told her that it had been the case,
I'm sorry,
I told her that had it been the case
that I met her when she was 22
and I was my current age,
then sure,
but she isn't 22 anymore.
After I said that,
she started crying like crazy
she started cool guy of the week she started saying that i think of her as ugly and used
up and then her best years are behind her she just told me that if i'm not happy with her
why am i even here to stop wasting her time i tried to talk to her but she was in no state
for a conversation i love that this engineer is like,
I don't know,
autistic with social problems.
I'm actually on the numbers.
I'm,
I'm,
it's actually,
uh,
you're,
you're no spring chicken.
I've actually got a flow chart.
Let me finish it.
Yep.
Yep.
I don't know what to say guys. For me, I just want to say that I think we're of similar attractiveness
like I don't think anyone when they see us turns their head and like oh who is she with him because
of money or damn he is lucky to be with her I think it's mutual she was the one that if anything
went after my attractiveness first what should I do I like the fact that we both work and i don't want to change that dynamic and i don't want her to think
that she is above me and that i'm so lucky to have her i wanted to think of us as equals in my attempt
to do that hurt her feelings what's the next move um well you want to get that autism diagnosed
first that's your first step even i could see that and i passed all of them i i think i think actually
here what's going on is i think you already if there is a winner in this i think you already
lost it uh because like just just going here and going to this this platform to just you know like
going out there and airing out the laundry to try and figure it out it's kind of like
you know like going out there and airing out the laundry to try and figure it out it's kind of like it's kind of obvious that you know she's just like i don't know she just doesn't give a like
like what what i don't know it feels like she's i know what you're saying i need to hear the rest
i don't know what he's saying the fact that he went on reddit to ask for advice about all this
i feel like he's going to like,
I feel like her thing,
doing the stuff that she's saying,
being like,
Oh,
it's like,
you think I'm used up?
Like she's already appealing to his like,
you know,
humanity.
And like,
there's already just,
it's,
it's tough to say.
And this is why it's hard for me to verbalize.
It's like,
cause it's secondhand,
but I,
I sensed the beginnings of manipulation on her part and and it's so set
in already that that's why he's here on reddit it's like no it should be really easy to be like
i'm not comfortable with just one of us working and the fact that you know you think i'm worthless
because i was a loser in high school or or or whatever is just, I don't know. I feel like she liked,
maybe she liked being the,
the,
the better one.
Maybe she liked being the catch in it.
And now,
you know,
I don't think she is,
you know,
as,
as,
as time went on,
but I just,
I think I'm already starting to manipulate.
I think a lot of her self-esteem and self-worth are tied up in her,
her looks.
And he just took a big swipe at that
while at the same time putting forward his financial security,
which is like a one-two punch at her
because she is not financially secure.
He just hurt her feelings really, really badly
because he's a little autistic
and he didn't know how to like handle that situation in a way that wouldn't like completely destroy this,
this lady that he apparently is in love with and is in a longterm relationship
with relationship relationship with her feelings.
So he fucked up.
It's not a perfect relationship,
you know,
it's,
you know,
but I bet he's probably misreading some things,
you know,
based on how terribly he read the room. He, you know it's you know but i i bet he's probably misreading some things you know based on how terribly he read the room he you know here's what i think i haven't gone yet she
wants this to be an equal thing right so she went into it thinking we're both of equal attractiveness
we both have careers we both have health insurance everything's wait sorry to interrupt i thought she
didn't think that i thought she was the one that...
I think she thought she...
Let me finish.
I'm getting here.
So she thought that everything was balanced.
She learned that he earns triple hers.
So now she repainted it to say,
ah, you might earn triple,
but here's where my value comes from.
I was this hot, popular chick in high school.
I'm the trophy. I'm this, I popular chick in high school. I'm the trophy.
I'm this, I'm that.
So we're still of equal value.
Clearly, career-wise, I'm a fucking wimp at this, and you're a stud,
but I've got this other thing.
I'm a fucking mega-hot trophy chick.
That's why we're okay.
And he's like, no, no.
I'm awesome in career, and we're equal in looks.
You're not my equal and and she's having a hard time realizing that you know i don't know like there is a power that's that's possible
that's the second theory that she did have like a panic moment because he it like you said kyle
was all at once like a back-to-back so maybe she was like well i'm the hot one and he was like what the hot
one maybe 10 years ago she was like yeah i am the hot one like uh you're a loser you were a loser
in high school kyle just texted me she's been rotting for five years jesus kyle you know i was
expecting a text according to the woodworth formula right here
um yeah i'm sorry but i just i think the biggest the biggest issue here is just that she's like
what now i could do jack shit like oh yeah you might be right but i definitely see her trying to
find a way to balance it she learns she's like she's she's like i have a
successful husband i could be one of those dumb bitches that just stay at home and don't have
anything to do and like you know like she's like there's no kids let it come in here people
watching do you think she wants to chill do you think that she saw his salary and got lazy
or she saw his salary and tried to find some other area where she could provide value?
Because I think that's where Harley and I separate.
Yeah.
No, I mean, I'm open to both.
I looked at it one way, and then you started to talk.
And I was like, wait, you're completely wrong.
I'm going to know what you're saying.
I bet he said it very statistically and meaner than he thought it was going to be.
Yeah.
He was for sure like, was. Oh yeah. Yeah. He was for sure.
Like we're both ugly.
Yeah.
We were both nerd.
But like,
I,
I,
here's this fun thing.
Like I,
I'm like,
I'm like,
I'm like,
I'm like,
I'm like,
I'm like,
I'm like,
I'm like,
what is the best way to handle that?
You could go with the lie and say,
yeah,
baby,
you're way better looking than me and just suck it up and let her feel
better.
But that's not fun that's not a
win and that's no commitment to honesty no i know a win is when you both feel good coming out of it
like yeah can i go a little longer like if you're cerebral about these conversations you think about
how you want this situation to end and target getting to there instead of winning or putting her down or
whatever and i don't think he did that i don't think he said here's where i want to be at the
end of this conversation i think he just said no i'm as good looking as you are without thinking
about what that would do i think that's the uh that's the thing here is ultimately at the end
he's like you know what should i do like he's asking like what to do it's so
simple but the problem is he's probably already shared it to her that he's not comfortable with
this really just comes down to that he's not comfortable with her not going to work and she's
just like you think i'm ugly and it's like no i don't i don't i think we should both work and
she's like you think I'm ugly.
It's so lost in translation that I just imagine that he already expressed it to her.
But what should he do?
There's not really anything you can do if you told her.
Maybe at any point you just got lost in the ugly perception.
Here's where I saw.
You might be right because he definitely says, I like that we both work and don't want to change that dynamic so there's something to what you're saying isn't that the only thing he wanted in this i think what i read into it was a little bit of
like fuck bitch like you got to blow out my candle to make yours burn brighter you know that's what
she went straight to you know oh well then you're just not as good i see how much money you make
maybe you haven't seen how much better looking I am.
Yeah, but see, it was more, it wasn't done that way.
It was done the guilt way, even though what he wrote is
she views it as me calling her old and ugly.
You know, I think it is, there is like a lot to unpack in this
because there's so many angles to it.
Like he did, like I'm trying to say, like, did he,
is he already feeling bad about it?
Or did she like kind of like, oh, those people don't have feelings.
Like I mean, those people are women or autistic men.
I can't tell who we're talking about.
See what I mean?
She was like, digs at me.
Taylor, you haven't gone yet. What do you think? Oh, I mean, I think you'm ugly? Diggs at me. Taylor, you haven't gone yet.
What do you think?
Oh, I mean, I think you guys have kind of hit every base here,
every possible base.
She went into the relationship, I think,
kind of with an understandable thing for a woman going,
all right, this guy's going to be a very successful guy going forward. He's going to be an engineer.
He's going to be making a pretty penny in 5, 6,
7 years.
He's not nearly in my league, but
with my looks here
and his looks there and his money moving
him here, then
yeah, I'm kind of the trophy
partner. Then as time progresses,
she imagines that it's still here, but
his perception is that the looks
were always here and the money's moving him up a little bit.
Yeah, they just managed to hurt each other's feelings terribly by being honest.
Yeah, they were too honest, and there's nothing worse for a relationship than honesty.
You need a thick base of lies, right?
When you build a relationship on a lie, it's's just a formula for long lasting love every conversation
with a long-term partner should begin with you panicking trying to remember what lies you need
to maintain yes i use a rolodex yeah well i've got an app for it yeah as someone who's had a
few phones taken by the authorities you don't't want that, all right? You want something hard. It's a great episode.
Boys will be boys.
I actually run it.
It's $2.99.
I think relationships would be based on honesty.
That's why every five years I get Jackie a card that says,
I allow you 1% higher body fat.
No, you know what?
Relationships should be built on a mutual fear of loneliness.
That's what it should be and the threat of violence and the tacit threat of violence nothing overt you just have to yeah no evidence no text messages anything like that that's
gotta get you some hot soup maybe instead of sitting and watching movies together on the
couch you bring a speed bag up there and while you're watching the office you just hammer it yeah i got a question about just a
hypothetical with like imagine this scenario here everything's the exact same right you're this guy
and she says to you she's like oh like does that mean i can wear lululemon and drive a ranger over
to yoga like you guys are all like no you keep working right or you're like oh
no i'm making bank i'm getting more i'm getting more girls or like what what is it what would
you guys like realistically this is a person you love they're not married right they're like i don't
okay but so it's a girlfriend you're contemplating yeah you just you would just be done with it yeah or even just for her saying the comment oh you got that money i could do nothing
just for the comment you'd be like no you're done now yeah i don't like that that that's uh that's
a that's a that's a that's a personality flaw that's uh that ain't going away she's not gonna
realize she made a mistake because she doesn't believe she made a mistake that's how she feels so and now this is the question i want to ask what if she said to you oh uh can i chase my dream like will you help me
do that like i want to be an artist you know will you help me be an artist like i want to make
candles candles by jan and and this one's bonfire like No. You don't like that?
No. She's got to go.
You know how these wine and paint evenings
have very quickly become wine and paint?
What if she wants to be a Twitch
streamer?
No, no, no.
What if she wants to
I'm trying to think of something good.
If you're a totally realistic dream
then you've got to support her.
I'll support unrealistic dreams.
I have no problem with the dreams and supporting dreams if it's a good person who means well and is loving.
But I don't like how she reacted to finding out he had money.
And I don't like that she revealed that she's this whole time sort of felt herself to be the superior one in the relationship.
Like she's been doing him a favor.
Now it's time to cash the favor in or something.
It almost feels that way.
That's a good way.
I had a longtime girlfriend who had an absurd business idea that was very personal to her that she pursued for a long time.
Can you go into what it was?
No, no, you don't have to. It's funny. I was seeing what it was? God damn it. No, no.
You don't have to.
It's funny.
I was seeing.
But I don't want to.
It is funny.
It is funny.
It's a stupid thing that she wanted to be.
Can you write it privately in the Discord?
Yes.
She wanted to do that.
All right?
Oh, no.
That's dumb.
Hornstar, was she hot enough?
Professional.
I don't want to get into that.
That's going to give me some hot water too you
know you know the anyway and so um i i knew that that was a stupid idea and she had taken these
courses for it and she had and and i was just like you're not qualified for that job and that job doesn't pay well that job pays well when
you're like a super successful person already and then you leverage that you say hey i did this now
i can do that would you like to hire me to do that for you they're like fuck yeah you did all of this
over here to the left i want some of that over here in my world but she didn't
have that so it was just like who would hire you i wouldn't hire you and i love you like a 17 or 18
year old being like i'm going straight into motivational speaking it's like but you don't
have any life experience you don't have any stories you don't have any like i was in uganda
and i saw a boy drinking from a puddle like Like, you know what's funny for someone like that is, like he said,
like, for example, going to courses to learn how to do that.
Like if you love that and you know you're not going to make money,
you're like, I guess there are other people out there that want to do this.
And I don't have crazy life experiences, so I'll just tell people how to do this and i don't have crazy life experiences so i'll just tell people
how to do it now it's just like like a bullshitting thing is now you're teaching a course on a
bullshitting thing it's like you've really figured out the business behind it in that particular
scenario yeah it was it exactly it was it made no sense but i supported it i paid her rent i
you know i took care of you know it was cheap. It was $500 a month. It was like, yeah, I'll pay your rent. Of course, I love you. And you're pursuing your dream. And in the back of my head, I'm like, and as soon as you wake up, we're going to find you a job back in that career that you were building for three years before you got this stupid idea in your head.
You'll go right back into there,
and I'm sure they'll give you that job in middle management right back.
It'll be great.
Yeah, they just hand out middle management jobs
to people who leave on a whim.
Nah, she was talented at this other thing she did.
She was making okay money,
like plenty to pay all of her bills
and still have some spending cash.
She wasn't becoming wealthy, but
I wasn't paying her rent
either.
If you
love someone, you support their things.
If this trophy wife
of his wanted to go
make candles or
become a travel agent or
whatever the fuck, I could see supporting that
to an extent
but i don't like how she treated him i don't like her what she revealed was in the back of her head
this whole time for years now i don't like any of that yeah i uh so i take offense to her
she found out the money and then all of a sudden she wants to live this life of luxury and leisure. And it's like –
Hear me out.
Sorry to interrupt.
No.
No.
If you instantly start spending my earnings, that's a red flag for me.
That's an indicator that she might not be the life partner I'm looking for.
Yeah.
I think we can go even a little deeper again because I'm starting to look –
because there's so much to unpack unpack even the way it's written you know um i think like uh like it would be valuable
to hear her side of this oh for sure like i would really really like i feel like as the more we we
talk about it and discuss it i feel like there's like a whole missing part the way this is written this person is so dry and like like you know perhaps on the spectrum that like what if she was like
oh she's like you have 80k wow she's like i guess i can get a range rover and go to yoga
yoga lulu lemons and he's like well you can't do that she's like what you think i'm not hot enough to be one of those dumb
bitches and he was like well we're on equal comparisons of our how we look and she's like
are you serious you think you look as good and that make maybe that's the tone yeah now he's here
yeah maybe he can't sarcasm does not play with this exactly very possible started off as a joke and he was like
getting offended and then like by not understanding it he actually started to offend her i've seen
that happen some people can't read sarcasm they can't tell that it's a bit or that you're being
silly yeah exactly like like and like my sense of humor is really dry that's gotten me in trouble
in a lot of relationships where like my sense of humor is very dry sometimes and i like to do this thing where i act like i feel a certain way and i play
to get a reaction and then like but at the end of it i'm gonna be like i'm just kidding i'm just
kidding yeah i didn't mean it and but now they're crying and i'm just like i really didn't mean i
thought you were playing along with me that whole time. I didn't mean any of that. Minus the crying, I literally do that like three or four times a day with my girlfriend.
I trap her in a bit that's like some stupid-ass bit, and she's like, wait, when is it over?
And when is it like –
If you're on the other side of it.
And they feel stupid.
They'll feel like you've made them look stupid in my situation.
My girlfriend felt like I was making her look stupid i in my situation my girlfriend felt
like i was making her look a fool on purpose when really i was just being silly like we were at six
flags and it was it was like a triple date or something like that and one of the we were in
line for a roller coaster so i was just bullshitting and i was like you know the scream machine was
actually built in 1967, Coney Island.
They took it apart piece by piece and trucked it down here.
Donald Trump actually owned it at the time.
He sold it to the Six Flags Corporation, and they reassembled it just as it was in Coney Island.
It's a little bit faster, though, now.
And my girlfriend goes, really?
And I went, no.
No, not at all. I'm just fucking with you. And my girlfriend goes, really? And I went, no.
No, not at all.
I'm just fucking with you.
And she got so red-faced, and she slapped the shit out of me.
Just.
I felt.
You told me the story.
I knew there was a hit.
I was going to ask.
I felt a slap come to me. Really?
I was assaulted right there.
It's just a vibe.
It's just enough of just being an asshole. But you were being an asshole. At least the slap on the arm. You were trying to make It's just a vibe. It's just like enough of like just being an asshole.
But you were being an asshole.
You were trying to make her look like a fool.
And she was feeling like she was a fool.
And while it doesn't fit this situation, sometimes that kind of asshole-ishness is Schrodinger's asshole.
I probably pronounced that close.
But do you know what I'm talking about when I say that?
So Schrodinger's cat is this thought experiment where there's a cat in a box, we're gonna kill it,
but we don't know if it's currently alive or dead.
So they say it exists in both states.
Schrodinger's asshole is when you're an asshole to someone
or you do something asshole-ish
and you decide whether you were kidding or not
based on the other person's reaction.
And when you're on the other side of that
or someone does that much, it's like,
well, that's just being an asshole.
And it's not fun for both people.
You're being an asshole to amuse yourself.
Yeah.
I was just being silly.
I didn't realize that I was – I didn't know where – I didn't know how it would make her feel at the time.
I learned afterwards because she slapped me.
17, okay?
But I learned my lesson, um, not to
embarrass her in front of other people. Now that I do that
same joke of private, it's all okay
because no one was embarrassed. No one looked
fool. But, uh, but yeah, she
straightened me out that day. I deserve that slap.
Very public assault.
I don't know if I love the assault response.
I wonder what would happen if the tables
were turned and she played a little
word game with me and and I just, pow!
Knocked a few teeth out.
You see, she gave you the slap that she doesn't get to be mad, in my opinion.
You didn't warrant a slap and the anger.
I got both.
It's like, you can be mad, but if you got the slap, like, I don't think you were being a goofball.
I'm like, I think being a goofball is still a thing.
And it's kind of like your way of, like, you you wanted to interact but maybe there wasn't anything to talk about and like you know you
dish it out you could take it too she could dish it out to you you know i'm assuming so then it's
like it's just like fun and it's banter and i would i would not mesh well with a girl that if
i was like or whatever dumb thing i'm doing if they were like that's stupid you're
being loud you know like i need a like i'm always a goofball like i literally all stand up and i'll
just like kind of scream in my house like yeah she was okay with the goofball stuff she was just
as goofy as i was and i had a good time but that was an example of me doing something stupid and
paying the price for it.
I deserve that slap.
I fully admit that.
I was an asshole, but I didn't mean to be.
The end result was not what I was going for.
I didn't read the situation.
I didn't know how that situation was going to end.
Yeah, I see.
In any case, did you see the end?
I don't know what his rank is, but that nypd let's call him colonel whatever higher up
speaking to the press with all the cops behind about how he's not ashamed yes and how this badge
isn't tarnished it's still gotta shine on it and i'm proud to be a cop and i and and they keep
intersplicing it with it's the only version i've seen. I've seen both, but I'm...
I won't say I prefer the one with all of the hate crimes,
but it's more poignant, all right?
Like it tells both sides of the story.
I interrupted you.
Can you describe the video a little better?
Like the intersplice it with...
Okay, so he's doing this speech
about how great it is to be a cop,
how he's still proud to be a cop.
People are acting like police are brutalizing people on the street, but this badge isn't tarnished.
I'm proud of what I do.
I'm paraphrasing.
And then throughout the whole thing, they show that cop pushing over the elderly man in Buffalo and some other cop pepper spraying obviously peaceful protesters and cops shoving people to the ground, kicking people in the back,
running people over with cars who are just in crowds,
beating people with batons.
We're talking about right now.
Yeah.
We're talking about the clip where the,
the New York city police commissioner,
whatever the fuck,
some higher up is,
is,
is talking to the news media with a,
with like 40 cops behind him saying,
he's not ashamed to be a cop.
This Brad has got to shine on it.
It's not tarnished. And then they intersplice it with, with like cop police brutality him saying he's not ashamed to be a cop. This Brad just got to shine on it. It's not tarnished.
And then they intersplice it with,
with like cop police brutality,
the police brutality shit.
The clip that I've linked right here on black people,
Twitter is like the latest version of it.
And it doesn't have all of the hate crimes in it.
And I think it's fine to play.
I think it is.
I think it is.
Wait,
this six second video.
Jesus Christ.
This six-second video doesn't show any...
No, that's what I'm saying.
I just explained that.
This is the latest version that doesn't have all the hate crimes in it.
It's just showing them the way they are, according to Black People Twitter.
I thought you said there weren't going to be hate crimes in it,
that there were going to be a couple of crimes, but not...
No, no crimes at all.
It's just them with their Klan hoods on,
and it's the audio from Django Unchained,
where it's like, all y'all do is criticize,
criticize, criticize.
All with their Klan hoods on.
That was a very funny scene.
You know, that movie, I rewatched it.
I think I said this recently.
Didn't hold up the way I thought it would,
but that scene where, like, all the Klan guys
are getting mad at Jonah Hill's wife or whoever it was
because she didn't make the
eye holes big enough.
It's so fucking funny.
It was like...
Django? Django Unchained.
Oh, I need to rewatch that. In a weird way, it was
almost relatable where you're like, you know what?
That is a problem with a lot of costumes.
The eye holes were never
big enough. The head space, never enough.
You know? I don't know how
many turtlenecks I ruined before my
mother stopped buying them for me.
Speaking of the head thing, we get to
2,000. Taylor Merka on Twitch, everyone.
We get to 2,000 subs and I'm doing
a phrenology stream where I'm going to
analyze my head size with a tape measure.
I'll look at some early
and some late 19th century.
Do you have a notebook full of future ideas?
Yeah. I know you do.
When I think of something funny, I just...
The same way I do for PGA.
People don't know.
Taylor shows up and he's like, yeah, I got some things.
He comes
prepared. I imagine
them to be bullet points.
Not a script so much
as it is like
reminders on how to tell a story well and such yeah yeah exactly just just goofy little list
things so oh and then easy all throughout the show at the end of the show we're trying to do
a title right we need we usually do three things and taylor's like all right i wrote down eight
things for you guys to choose from and i always appreciate it yeah i that you know i started doing that because i got so tired of what was it five and a half
years of us doing all the show together until i was like on my own like i'm just gonna start
writing things down that we talked because at the end of every show we'd be like man that was a good
one we had some funny jokes what did we talk about again and then we'd sit there and be like what the
fuck what did he say the other thing is taylor's the only one of us that has to get up friday We had some funny jokes. What did we talk about again? And then we'd sit there and be like, what the fuck?
What did he say?
The other thing is, Taylor's the only one of us that has to get up Friday morning.
Woody and I are like, it's like 1130, 1145, and we're trying to figure out, like, what do we talk about again?
I mean, Woody's like, hey, did you see the Cody Garbrandt knockout?
That was crazy, right?
And Taylor's like, all right, guys, let's try to stay focused here.
Maybe even Woody can talk.
Could we garble around?
Maybe later, but let's talk about what we're going to call this show so I can go get in the bed because I got to call at 9 a.m.
Yeah, literally that.
And Woody and I are like, well, we've got Tarkov to get to.
You don't see us Nancy-ing around the house.
That's not a real thing, but it's funny.
I got to go tend to my generator.
My stash is a mess.
Oh, at 9 a.m.
I have time for you.
It's into a grind session.
You know, so I'm more tired than you.
Don't act like I won't be up at 9 a.m. too.
You know what?
I'll be up at 6.
I'll be up at 4.
you know what i'll be up at six anyway yeah that that's a pretty funny clip i didn't i didn't actually listen to the audio
but if they've got that that django yeah it's such bullshit like like that guy looked like
such a fucking piece of shit he's he's there's a part where he's like um he's like we're not
the minneapolis police department i don't know why i'm giving him a part where he's like, we're not the Minneapolis Police Department. I
don't know why I'm giving him a Southern accent. He's from New York. We're not the Minneapolis
Police Department. We don't like that. We don't do that here. And then that's when they start
rolling clips that are primarily in the NYPD only hate crimes. It's so well edited. He's like,
we don't do that here. That's not the kind of cops we are.
And it's the,
it's NYPD cruisers running over crowds of people.
It's NYPD clubbing handcuffed people.
NYPD.
They,
they're the one that killed the guy for selling Lucy cigarettes.
Right?
Yeah.
Yeah.
I mean,
the NYPD has killed lots and lots and lots of people,
you know,
at the end of the video is like last words of black people who have been murdered by the police.
It's like a dozen different last words of them.
Like, I can't breathe.
Please stop shooting me.
Why are you doing this?
And then one of them is just mama.
And it's like, oh, is it just me?
Or does it when they ask for their mom, does that hit the deepest?
I think George Floydyd that was his last
words yeah it was yeah yeah that's really sad isn't that isn't that from saving private ryan
or is that yeah there's a part in saving private ryan where they're uh where he's where he's
screaming he's got his guts coming out and he's like oh man i i am due for a rewatch
no you're not no you're not why No, you're not. Why not?
Look, Woody and I have introduced you to some wonderful properties recently, and you've signed on board, and you've enjoyed them fully.
The Wire, Sopranos.
Your next movie is Terminator 2, because you've never seen it.
And it's a fucking classic.
That's my favorite.
That's my number one favorite movie ever.
Okay, Terminator 2.
I actually do what i do in life because
come with me if you want to live i saw that movie that was the first movie i ever saw in theaters
at five years old and when i left i was like movies i want to do movies i want to
it's so fucking good it's the best i actually i showed up my girlfriend robert patrick it's linda hamilton
it's so fucking good i ended up watching the first time oh go ahead arlie uh no it was stupid
retarded anyways i have no one to blame for this i hold no grudge but i i've told it before but i
i was young call myself like nine years old or something like that. And there was a big movie everyone wanted to see.
It turned out to be awesome.
But I stayed home because my mom was shampooing my hair and removing lice.
And that movie turned out to be Rambo First Blood.
I missed it.
I missed the movie.
That's such a crazy movie at nine.
Yeah, you would have enjoyed that at nine.
When I was nine, i liked rambo three
better i liked like there was so much more shooting and noises and shit yeah rambo one
is a sad story in the book he kills himself at the end all right i didn't know that there's no
book rambo two three and five there's not i don't even the first book wasn't even called rambo i
don't recall what it was called,
but it was not Rambo.
I mean, it was about John Rambo, the character,
but he's a Vietnam vet returning to a country
that's spitting on him, being treated like shit,
and all he's trying to do is visit his old veteran pals
every time he...
You're taking your life with the life of John Rambo again.
This isn't the first time this has happened.
No, that happened to me.
That was me and Charlie.
And so it's
sad. He doesn't kill a single person
in that movie. He doesn't kill anyone
in that movie. No, not a single
kill in Rambo First Blood.
In the movie. In the entire
movie. Now that guy fell
out of that helicopter. Just because Rambo threw a
rocket helicopter, that's manslaughter
at best. Am I conflating different Rambos?
Did a branch with
spikes on it not it like disembowel somebody that's rambo too okay and and that's the viet
kong charlie was coming for him and he had to he had to get those booby traps involved rambo first
blood he's in like portland or like like in oregon or washington state somewhere in the
pacific northwest and the local police department is chasing him through the woods,
even though he really didn't do anything wrong.
And it just keeps escalating until the National Guard is called in.
But he never kills anyone.
Rambo, too.
They pull him off the chain gang where he's literally breaking rocks in a prison.
And they offer him a deal.
Either do these five more years of prison or do this secret mission for us in Vietnam and go take pictures of American POWs who still exist in 1982, I believe it was.
And he's like, all right, I'll go over there and take the pictures.
And so they load him up and drop him in.
All of his equipment gets cut away.
So he's just got his bow and arrow and his fucking knife.
And, you know, it goes from there.
And he kills, I think it's, I think he kills 76 people.
And on his paper, but on his paperwork going into the movie,
they, you know, it's like you're looking through his profile.
And he only had like roughly 65 confirmed kills in his entire Vietnam service.
And, but, but in like two days,
he kills like 80-something more.
He's Rambo.
He kills a lot of people.
I looked it up. Kyle's right.
It does say first blood
he killed one person. Maybe the helicopter
dude. It's the helicopter dude.
Manslaughter, not murder.
And then it goes 75, 115,
254
for Rambo 4.
Last blood is 46
and Vietnam War confirmed kills
was 59.
Damn, I was close on all that.
I didn't even remember that helicopter because that's the part where he's like,
you drew first blood.
You drew first blood.
They drew first blood.
Yeah, I don't think so.
So does that prioritize?
I don't think I've seen any of the Rambos ever except for
Terminator 2.
You know another movie I saw
that I'd never seen and this was just a couple days ago?
Aliens.
What a fantastic movie.
Aliens?
Did you see Alien?
Yeah.
A long time ago I saw Alien.
Aliens is like like, amazing.
Aliens is so exciting.
Everybody's raving about how good Aliens is.
Watched it.
Tremendous.
Tremendous.
Can you guys tell me which one's one and which one's two?
So Alien is the one where they find the facehugger.
They get back on board the Nostromo, which is the name of their ship, I want to say.
I think it's a Nostromo.
It's a mining vessel.
In any case, it gets on top of this ship, I want to say. I think it's Nostromo. It's a mining vessel.
In any case, it gets on top of this guy named Bishop.
And at first he wakes up.
It falls off and everything seems to be okay. And then at dinner, it bursts out of his chest, takes off running.
Bishop's dead.
And these miners have to try to kill this thing that's on board their ship that is heading back toward Earth.
thing that's on board their ship that is heading back toward earth they can't go back into like long-term frozen hypersleep until they kill this thing that is rapidly growing from cat size to
seven feet tall and it ends up killing everyone except for sigourney weaver's character ripley
she like jettisons out and she goes into suspended anime animation in the escape pod
they find her about 55 years later roughly and they debrief her they're
like hey um you were you were the second in command on like a one trillion dollar mining vessel
that you apparently self-destructed the fuck did you do that for and she like tells them a story
about an alien that bleeds blood and nobody believes it but the wayland the wayland yutani
corporation knows all about these things so they set up this mission with the military they send
them to the planet where the aliens were found because there's the colony there now and we've
lost contact with the colony they go there sure enough the aliens have been discovered by the
colony because the wayland yutani corporation told a couple of miners to go out there and look where where ripley told him the ship was now they're all infected there's aliens every
fucking where but this time instead of a bunch of a bunch of miners and one woman it's a team of
space marines with bill paxton and a bunch of other like hardcore cool guys yeah it's great
and they're just with the fucking uh like like fucking giant machine guns that are strapped onto them that are made out of pulse.
They got the pulse rifles, but then they've got the, I don't know what they call the big one that's strapped to them that has the zero weight harness on it.
That thing's cool as shit.
It's an auto gun or something.
It's on a steadicam rig.
It really is with motorcycle parts attached to it.
But yeah, that's a great fucking movie that
that's the better one in my opinion both are just four stars but the second one's better than the
first one for me anyway the first one's ridley scott the second one's james cameron who is also
the guy who made terminator by the way so go watch fucking terminator 2 it's badass all right i'll
watch terminator 2 because i liked aliens you know i I still need to finish The Wire I want to power through The Wire
what season are you on at The Wire?
I am in
middle end-ish of season 3
I guess I'm pretty
towards the end of season 3 at this point
season 4 is very
I found season 4
easily digestible
for the most part It was very,
yeah.
Season one was fucking tremendous.
Uh,
season two,
I got to admit there were times on the docks where I was like,
I would find myself.
The docs,
the docs is the best.
When you go back.
When I first watched that show,
I was like,
Oh,
I'm like,
this show is boring.
Ziggy can eat my ass i hate when i go here
no one i i know but that's so it's so real it's so i don't know when i go back like i've rewatched
like a couple episodes i'm like the docs is so like i really didn't appreciate it when i first
watched i was like this show's boring i'm like why does everyone watch it um it didn't get me
the docs the docs almost lost me i will agree i like the docs more
second time um quite a bit you know what i think is underrated you guys will have to help me
vin diesel series maybe is it riddick chronicles of riddick is the first one
that yeah the first one and not just the first one is good like that's a good series i don't
know if i've seen them all but i've seen at least the first two or three well it's just it's because a good part of that series plays
out in an original xbox game and like still it's like his origin story how he got his eyes shined
and he's in prison and it's like one of like the best xbox games ever and it's just weird that it's
a vin diesel game um but yeah i love chronicles of riddick it was so good and then they had that one with the
dog does he the one after that with the dog he had like a dog creature type thing on the desert
planet it's weird i feel like i don't love vin diesel right the actor the real life person and
he falls out of shape a lot which i don't know it just somehow doesn't meet a hollywood standard to
me but he's made some movies that are huge hits
huge hits like the fast and the furious series is gargantuan yeah but but i really like he might be
the number one most billion dollar movies by the way right chronicles of riddick samuel l jackson
i think he's including the avengers movies that he's in he No, it does. It's the Avengers movies and the Guardians of the Galaxy.
That's cheating.
It is cheating, but it still works, though.
But it's definitely cheating.
Yeah, yeah.
I like him to an extent.
I liked him in Boiler Room.
I thought that was excellent back in the day.
He showed that he could fucking act for real.
And I do like the first Chronicles of Riddick a lot.
They get a little
cheesier as they go on but they never completely lose the plot and uh and yeah they're okay which
one has the big issue with the sun coming up is that the second one that's the first one oh that's
the one i really liked yeah yeah yeah that was good and and you find out that the the the one
character has been a girl the whole time and And he's in Saving Private Ryan also.
He is.
It's like I don't give him credit
for being that kind of actor, right?
It's for my dad.
It's got blood on it.
He's like, stay down.
Stay down. The letter, though.
And he's like, dude, you haven't given us
any new information. Just stop moving.
We see the fucking letter. And the German sniper is just like, dude, you haven't given us any new information. Just stop moving. We see the fucking letter.
And the German sniper is just like, oh, this guy.
Jesus.
That scene's rough.
That's a good fucking movie.
It really is.
Like Taylor talked about a rewatch of it.
I watched it recently.
I don't know if it's.
I want to say I watched it in 4K, but I'm not positive I did.
Maybe I purchased it in 4K, too.
Yeah.
That's one of those.
You guys all saw 1917? 1917 i love 1917 can we do
vin diesel a little do you think vin diesel makes more money than the rock i think he might no no
absolutely if we're going by like fast and furious avengers chronicle of riddick vin diesel is 200
million apparently um there's no... No, I would say...
So, he's in those movies that are very successful, but I think...
Oh, The Rock is $320.
Yeah, I think his roles in them aren't as big.
I bet he has a producer credit on the Fast and the Furious movies, and that's where a lot of his net worth comes from.
Because, like, the Chronicles movies weren't gargantuan hits or anything.
The first one was super low budget.
I want to say he financed the majority of it
and nearly went bankrupt doing so
and it paid off.
But Groot?
I bet he doesn't get paid that much for Groot.
It's got to be a very tiny amount of money.
If he refuses to come back,
they've got to be like,
well, we can just use the old clips
of you saying I'm great.
Right.
We paid you for as many as we want.
You know, that's how in the contract.
What are you going to do?
I am a guru.
I can't think of it, but I bet Kyle can.
Sometimes movies that aren't giant super hits are actually really profitable for the actor because they were like the producer and the lead actor.
And they got like they did like four things on it so i've got a i got a good example of that i've got the greatest
example of all time but i'll let you go first example i'm guessing um arnold schwarzenegger
is the second best example of that and the movie is twins you've been one i have
but the best example that ever excited because i always like this twins
fact that arnold it was his he took a very low pay because he wanted to do comedy and twins was
comedy and they're like you're not an action guy he was like don't pay me any money just give me a
better guess number one before you go it's him, and Rob Reiner. They all took a percentage.
Yeah, and that plays on TV every fucking week.
Is the best example Rocky?
No.
Okay.
That is a huge example of someone betting on themselves, though,
because Sylvester Stallone wrote the movie Rocky himself when he was nobody.
And the studio offered to pay him several million dollars for that script.
And they were going to give him a credit too.
And he was like,
but you're not going to play Rocky Balboa though.
You know that, right?
Mr. Stallone, is it?
You're five foot nine, dude.
I don't think so.
And he's like, take it or leave it.
I'm Rocky Balboa.
And he paid off and he won.
The greatest example of all time,
Paul Hogan,
crocodile Dundee,
the biggest, I want to say it was the biggest movie in the box office that year.
Sequel was also successful.
He owns that shit.
He made crocodile Dundee.
It's his baby.
He produced,
he wrote,
he starred.
He owns it.
He's Australian, right?
Yeah.
So I wonder if Australian, like Canada, in Canada, if you create something as a Canadian,
like you own the trademark world, like you own like the ownership is like you can never,
if I drew a cartoon, like that will always be my cartoon.
I can never sell 100% ownership of of it it'll always be like you
created it that's a fact of the matter and that will never change i wonder if that's similar
in australia and if that plays into it dude paul hogan kyle you couldn't be more right i didn't
know this crocodile don d made over 320 million dundee to 240 million and crocodile dundee 2, 240 million, and Crocodile Dundee, I guess a third movie, made
40 million. His net worth
went up to 75 million at
its peak because of his
ownership of that.
He made
10 times as much money as he would have.
That's why you've never seen him in anything else.
He did alright and he was done.
He's done.
That's the way to do shit
like that. Once you bet on yourself you succeed like that you just cash out crocodile 75 million i'm
out remember that danny mcbride crocodile dundee australia tourism thing that they did i wish they
done that i wanted to see that movie i was it was so i was so ready it was just it was rude
yeah so i was guessing that vin Diesel might make a lot of money
because he kind of owns some of his properties.
I thought Fast and Furious was more his than maybe.
Maybe I was just wrong.
I thought the Reddick stuff was more about him.
Well, another guy died, so he might have got his percentage.
I don't know how that works.
Yeah, I don't know.
That was where that theory came from.
The Rock, on the other hand hand is always in somebody's film like i don't yeah he's but he's like probably top three top
five uh most paid actors in hollywood right now he's just huge he's charismatic dude he's like
so bankable they can't even make him like a marvel character it's like he's just they are
he's gonna be a dc character though he's gonna be at black adam right black adam yeah he's uh he's super super bankable right now explain black harley
can you explain back at him to me i don't know i don't know oh i thought you'd be an expert
he's part of the shazam situation hey man i'm pretty good a lot of the time yes you are i want
to say he's uh he's one of shazam's main villains. And Superman would be involved too.
So you probably have a movie potentially with Henry Cavill, The Rock, and that guy who played Shazam, whatever his fucking name is.
Is Black Adam actually the name of the superhero?
It is.
That's hilarious.
More hilarious than a superhero being a white guy?
No, he's not.
He's black.
More hilarious than a superhero being called the Black Panther that was created in the 70s?
I mean, you're going to tell...
I think all of it's silly.
Hey, you shut up.
Hey, being silly doesn't mean it's bad.
There's a lot of silly shit in Lord of the Rings, and I'm never going to counter-signal Lord of the Rings.
I did that recently also. I made my girlfriend watch in Lord of the Rings, and I'm never going to counter-signal Lord of the Rings.
I did that recently also.
I made my girlfriend watch the Lord of the Rings.
Good.
Did she enjoy it?
She did.
Extended edition?
Yes.
Yes.
My man.
And you know what?
Also, we did Terminator 2, and I never saw the full extended edition.
You don't have to do it, by the way.
I think the pacing is better than the original.
Don't watch Extended Terminator. um but yeah there was like bits i didn't know i didn't realize i
was watching extended to be honest with you until there was like a part and i was like this is so
silly this is when arnold smiled no no i mean no not that that i love lord of the rings i meant
lord of the rings yeah it was uh oh the uh it was like i think
it was like pip and mary like being carried by the orcs and he's just like i what is he's like
play dead play dead is he saying play dead or he's like shut up so he's trying to get him to
drink they're carrying them yes and it's just such a weird conversation i'm like what the fuck are
they talking about it's like
you're you're right because i i know exactly the scene you're talking about because fucking of
course i do and what they should they they picked the wrong scenes to extend so like when they threw
in the saruman dying extended scene it was like okay but that's not why would you throw it in
that way that's not the way that he died Didn't get kicked off of the Tower of Orthanc
and fall and get spiked.
He, after the War of the Ring,
he and Grima and a bunch of leftover goblins and shit,
they went and they did this Scourge of the Shire
where they were going to go and fuck up the Shire.
Then there's a whole other fucking chapter
where after all of it,
the hobbits have to gang up and figure out the way
to defend the Shire against all of these kind
of remnant uruk-hai orc uh kind of you know with saruman and them yeah there's asshole men though
right and there are some i think he also has some like some remnant like uh easterlings or whatever
they would be those guys who are marching there's big brutes who have taken over the shire and
they've like locked people up and like like, they've got like a,
uh,
this,
this guy in charge,
who's like under their thumb.
And it's a,
it was a weird chapter to get to when I read it in prison.
So,
so I was like,
I was like,
fuck,
we're destroyed the ring and we got,
I don't know,
a hundred more pages to go.
What the fuck else are they going to do here?
And they go back to the Shire and have a little war.
They have a little Shire war.
Yeah.
And that would have been a really fucking cool scene.
It wasn't the Easterlings. It wasn't the
Haradrim. It was, fuck,
I don't remember the
Dawnland, something like
that. They were like the evil men
that kind of lived in the Rohan era,
or area, and just kind of caused may the rohan era or area and just kind
of caused mayhem and they had a black crow as their signet if i recall and yeah he scooped up
a bunch of them and and got him to do some nonsense with the shire but mary pippin sam frodo with
their experience now they they managed to lead it back and really even reading at the time it's like
you know what uh throughout this entire
trilogy frodo and sam have absolutely no experience leading people at least at least mary and pippin
have the tiniest bit by being like the second half man to be allowed to ride with aoin or with
amr as they do stuff so yeah regardless it would have been way cooler if they had to put the scourge
of the shire in there instead i don't know if it would have or not, because in the books, it was kind of like waste.
I was just like, well, they're clearly going to win.
These guys are like war heroes
who have fought monsters and demigods themselves.
They're not going to have a hard time
with a few jackbooted thugs
who have taken over the Shire.
But at the same time, the jackbooted thugs who have taken over the you know the shire but at the same time the jackbooted thugs are regular sized guys who are experienced fighters and it's just hobbits they're doing it like they don't have any i don't i don't recall
any like gondorian guys or rohirum coming to help or elves or dwarves it was just the hobbits trying
to defend it was and the reason that they didn't add that, I think is because the apex of the war of the ring ends so high that if
then you let it come down and then you add a subsequent conflict,
it's not going to crest nearly as well.
And so it makes sense for a movie.
Let the war of the ring be the big,
the grand finale to all this and don't add this.
Yeah.
Peter Jackson killed it.
Yeah.
They couldn't have
done that story much more perfectly than they did even the casting i think is just so so good
i feel like you look at who didn't do the story well was uh i can't who fuck wrote it not jk
rowling but you know whatever his name is who's the guy who wrote lord of the winds jr tolkien
tolkien somehow wrote an amazing, but wrote it kind of shitty.
You know, it was a painful slog to get through some of the details he put in that book.
It's not even that it's written shitty.
It's that his pacing is weird, and it's clear that he was autistic.
And so he would start a chapter.
That's about something that the reader really doesn't care,
but he wasn't writing this for the reader.
He was writing it to explore his own fantasy land.
And so he would go so deep into shit that did not matter for the overall
plot.
And then by the end of it,
you're like,
Oh,
Oh,
this Radagast fella must be serious.
Or,
well,
I guess that was a hobbit,
but even so it wasn't written to be an entertaining thing.
It was a man, borderline losing his mind, alone in a room for years, inventing languages and coming up with stories.
All of that stuff.
And all the different races, all the conflicts, the orcs.
It's so fucking good.
People are going to remember Lord of the Rings hundreds of years from now.
Can you say the same about a lot of other modern movies?
All of that Tom Bombadil stuff was just useless
you see all red lord of the rings everyone here read it oh yeah oh yeah and i you know
i tried so many times i couldn't get past i couldn't even get out of the shire when i was
it takes a while it's a while i'm just like i tried twice i never got out of the shire it's
like playing a game and i'm like, I couldn't beat it.
Dude, the amount of details about all of the food and items and entertainment that Bilbo was having ordered for his party is ludicrous in that.
Because it's like pages where it's like, and they ordered 17 hens and enough ale for a goblin horde.
And, oh my god,
there's another page of it.
And it was fine brown ale
from the Sutherlands.
And the Sutherlands, they make their ale
fine and brown because the summers
are long. Long
summers and fertile soil
because in the old days, there was a
sea there.
And the ham.
My lord, the ham.
You're like, wait a minute.
Are we learning about the merpeople who lived in the sea once upon a time, which is
now the fertile lands in the Sutherlands,
which grows the grain, which makes the ale,
which Bilbo ordered enough for
a goblin horde to his
111th birthday?
But where did they get the grain?
Sent from the Undying Lands with the elves, no doubt.
The highest quality.
And he would get so into that shit that it's like,
man, even my love of the Lord of the Rings series,
which is strong, good Lord,
some of those chapters in the books are a rough track.
And then other times it gets frustrating because you'll be reading
through it and you'll there's so much build
up so much plot devices so much excitement
building up for example to the the minds of
Moria and all of the shit that happens
in there and then the actual conflicts
and shit like you can tell
in the time he was writing it what
he was interested in because he'll like blow
through the conflict
in just a few dozen
pages after it's been built up for a hundred pages and then after that they were all slain
the journey yeah and so then yeah it i don't think i could have read it as a free man
if i had had like other alternative um avenues of entertainment if it was like lord of the rings in
my in my hands and my fucking tv and my pc in here and like going out and having a good time or having a girl come over or something were all options as well.
And I've been like, all right, this is not going to work out.
I thought you'd read it prior to jail.
I had tried to read it and I had read big excerpts of it and I had watched a lot of YouTube videos explaining the in-depth nonsense.
The lore and all that. I like that.
I like that too.
I knew more about the Simmerillion.
The lore stuff.
Oh, the Simmerillion.
I had read more of the Simmerillion
than I had the books
because I started trying to watch it
and read it in high school
when one of my friends got into it.
But it was just...
I don't know.
I never got committed to it.
But I'd watched so many YouTube videos like Breaking breaking that like explaining who tom bombadil is i want to see that comics explained
guy that we referenced earlier in the show about marvel stuff i think he i think he did a tom
bombadil video i'm sure but the still marillion like if you don't know that's like a an additional
book that no i know into the lord of the Rings. Lord, I know,
you know,
we're saying for the people out there who I only found out like two years
ago.
And like,
sorry,
I think I was cutting you off when you were talking.
Oh no,
no,
you're good.
You're good.
The Silmarillion is insane.
It is absolutely insane.
It is the ravings of a man.
Yeah.
That's what I hear.
Do you want to know who Shelob's uncle was?
It'll be chilling.
And that's the way it's paced, too.
It'll be like, and another thing about the elves.
And another thing about it.
But also, remember that fucking spider?
That spider was cool.
I'm going to jump to the side for a sec.
That spider.
That fucking Shelob spider.
You know where it came from?
Actually, it was a creation.
Was the spider in the movie? Yes, Shelob was in in the movie it was the beginning of the third one the return of
the king even though that event happens at the end of the two towers they had to add it in there
keep the first part of the return of the king more exciting and his his bouncing around he'll be like
and then also another thing about legolas his great great great great great great great great
grandmother was actually related
in a way to Galadriel which makes
him a higher tier elf
and that's why Elrond had that
instinct and it's like
I love that shit though
I like that stuff well you won't get a lot of it
unless you read the actual Lord of the Rings books
and it is
if you love deep dives
into lore that are so deep, it's insane.
Then you will like the Silmarillion because it's a guy who's lost himself in his fantasy world.
Yeah, it's a little much.
But yeah, I tore through it in prison.
Like less than five days for sure.
Like definitely less than five days. But you got to keep in mind, I have all day. All three of them in five days, for sure. Definitely less than five days.
But you got to keep in mind, I have all day.
All three of them in five days?
I got one that was just a solid book.
That's all three of them.
Yeah, that's what they had in prison.
It was nice and thick.
I'll be RB, guys, but I still hear you, by the way.
I don't remember how thick it was.
Maybe 1,200 pages, something like that.
You can do that.
Don't talk to Harley.
So that Harley guy guy can you believe it
yeah what a dick i thought if you interrupted woody one more time the man was gonna have an
aneurysm me yeah no that's not what's happening dude i'm playing with this golden star shit it's
it's a prop from escape from tarkov and it's actually like, like ever have a chapstick that's really medicated,
like Blistex or something?
It's comparable to that.
And I've just been fiddling with it
in my fingers or whatever.
And I touched my eye.
I'm sorry?
I don't see what you have in your hand.
It's very medicated lip balm.
Oh.
Yeah, yeah.
It works as a painkiller in Escape for tarkov and i found it for some
too much money like 24 on amazon yeah it's in my shopping cart it's been there and i was like
it's kind of as a goof during my live stream sometimes i put it on and in in the game he
puts two fingers he takes an oversized swipe and puts it on i do the same thing and and we head
into battle right do you struggle to get it? Is it really
difficult to open? Yes, I've made a
point of not shutting it very hard
so that I can get it open because otherwise
I need tools.
In the game,
it's a painkiller and you know
what painkillers do, but in the game what they'll do
is they'll keep you from limping or they'll
steady your aim up if your arm
is injured badly and that can be very important if you need to get away quietly and not take damage or if you need to like
be steady to get into a gunfight and you know so you often use it in the heat of the moment
so so he'll pull it out and you see your character try to like open it and he goes
and he like stops for a second and like and he gets finally and like when you first see
that you're like oh what a cool little silly animation kind of poking fun at how hard it is
to open golden star lip balm but when you need it in the game and you're just you're just like
come the fuck on you'd have lubed it up by now bro you don't it's hard so anyway that six dollar scoops of lip balm
well it actually comes in like a 12 pack so there's a lot of them but i only need like 50
cents worth but uh so some i was just playing with it all show long because it's a silent
thing to fiddle with it doesn't ruin the show and uh i got it on my fingers and then i got it in my eye and it's
it's not stopping like it's really fucking with me i don't know how to describe like this minty
medicated burn that i'm dealing with right is this i read i don't know it like look right but
it feels like ision i'm sure right yeah or Tiger Bomb. Tiger Bomb might be a better pick.
That stuff's stout.
It's in that family.
It's no joke, and I'm just like,
blinking isn't helping.
Nothing's helping.
Time's barely helping.
You need some milk.
I pepper sprayed me.
So, yeah, there was no...
I didn't even notice being interrupted very much,
but yeah.
I almost also bought the AI2 and the chocolate bar.
Those are also on Amazon.
What is the AI2?
It's a medical kit.
And then the Alanka chocolate or whatever it is that's in the game.
It's got that little girl on it, a little chocolate bar.
That's also on Amazon.
Both wildly overpriced.
I had them in my shopping cart for months.
And I was just like,
you're not going to spend $80 on three things just to look at.
They're not even...
They don't do anything.
They don't do anything.
At least Lip Balm works.
It does. Yeah, I actually like it.
It's a little strong, but
it's an acquired taste
do you want to do an ad
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yeah yeah yeah let me knock those out
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Yep.
I like how you were like,
I'm not going to spend 80 bucks to get something to just look at,
and then my figures are just sitting here.
I guess if I had a display case of stuff like that,
then it would be cool to have some Tarkov stuff.
If I could still have guns,
one of the things I think I would do
is collect a few Tarkov guns.
I would have an ADAR for sure.
Kit it out exactly like an ADAR,
like base model ADAR looks like in the game
with the wooden stock.
You can make that happen for easily less than
$800. Probably less.
Really cheaply, you can make that happen.
You can get a pulse rifle for $800 too.
Yeah, but it won't kill
people at 1,000 meters.
Have you ever brought over any of your figurines
on this show to show the rarest
best ones that you have? Because I'd love
to see some of...
Of course, you have to tell us how much you paid for it but the most expensive ones do you have a couple you could
grab maybe and show us if you don't mind of course so i actually um like uh i didn't i only grabbed
the ones that i thought would be good for photographs but my favorite uh figure that i
have is it's a two-pack one it's two luke skywalkers um and they are uh
it's it's luke on best spin so one like his hand is magnetic and it detaches
um and his clothes are all messed up but the other one he's all like what is that
best spin it's from empire strikes back like when basically when darth vader tells him that he's his
father um but it's just an old toy that has
this knob in the back that you can
adjust the eyes, which is just a weird feature
they abandoned.
Oh, I remember those. That was a dumb feature.
What use is
that? Having some schizophrenic
looking eye-darting doll?
Yeah, exactly.
Exactly.
All right, let's see what he's got.
I look forward to it.
I have a lot of Star Wars ones here.
Are they all Star Wars?
I was going to ask.
Go ahead.
No, I have like One Punch Man and Spider-Man and shit.
Spider-Man is a good one, but he doesn't.
Yeah.
God, I hate Star Wars.
Young Toy Boy, by the way.
I take pictures of all my figures.
This is, you know what it's better
if you actually if you just pull up the instagram i could there's i have a lot of access to my uh
older figures and stuff and more expensive ones yeah this is an investment right this is uh this
one is an anakin but it's a dark side anakin you get into a collector aspect um they don't really lose
their value um but i have this exact doll the exact same thing but for 50 bucks more only
available at san diego comic-con could you get the one with the red eyes which was this one so i had
a friend go pick it up for me but like that's the thing is like you pay like 300 bucks for a an anakin skywalker doll goodness then you pay 350 for the dark side version um and then i
got an obi-wan they look so shit when i'm just holding them here they really don't i was about
to comment that they look amazing dude they look good holding them i'm on your instagram do you have like a professional
photographer doing this yeah i that's i make uh i don't know if you know but i've been involved
in production for like the last 10 years of my life harley morenstein i know i do i take those
pictures this is the most autistic social media account i've ever seen
harley your photography is really good This is the most autistic social media account I've ever seen.
Harley, your photography is really good.
Thank you.
These are my – it's like my little side passion.
You know what I mean?
Yeah.
So Woody and I, I think Woody, we were talking before the show. I think our question been answered um taylor's been killing it on twitch go check him out taylor america and we were talking
about what is what does he need to do with some of these newfound monies that he's been approving
star wars figurines taylor this is hey they have lord of the rings ones i haven't bought a single
one but all of these they do have lord of the rings ones i haven't bought a single one but all of these
they do have lord of the rings ones i liquidated all of my assets and i've put it all into cole's
cash it's gonna turn around it's gonna turn around no that's that's really cool i've wasted
money on all sorts of little way things that i love but this was all fun you put picard and yoda in the same scene
yeah wouldn't that be so interesting picard and yoda oh my god i just like the idea i like the
idea of picard would have to be like listen the sith are no different from the jedi it's just a
religion can i read your comment we only ask that you allow the federation to
lead peaceful negotiation amongst the jedi and sith i assure you we have dealt with more volatile
relations i want to see this show now it's true like if you picard goes in there he's going to
clean up shit um i always think about like even when i think about like thanos but Thanos and all that. I think both.
How about you go to this one where it's me.
I have a doll of me.
I got one made of me.
No, you don't.
No, you don't.
Are you linking it?
Yeah, I just found it.
Here it is.
Yeah, you have to find the link to the hem doll.
Let's see this bad boy.
Why'd it do that? Is it making you guys log in? Oh to the hem doll. Let's see this bad boy. Oh, why'd it do that?
Is it making you guys log in?
Oh my God, Harley.
Oh my God.
Why are you holding hands?
Why are you holding hands with what I think is Padme?
No, no, it's Rey.
But yeah.
It's Rey.
Hey, at least it's not a Powerpuff Girl.
When you realize Kylo doesn't know how to treat a lady,
so you make a custom figure of yourself to take Rey out on dates.
What a cringy guy, eh?
What a cringy retard.
But you're a smart man, so that's what you were going for with this.
This is intentional cringe.
I can't really exactly say that.
It goes in the same thing.
I'm so sorry it goes in the same the same thing that like i like k-pop and sometimes people will be like oh do you or are you just
like being like i like k-pop you know like a weeb yeah i'm uh i i genuinely like these things and there is a part of me where
i'm like damn it's a doll collection that's stupid as hell there's a part of me that's like that
all right what's wrong with your forearms in this your doll's absurd oh come on that's a toy
that's not actually me taylor oh yeah but i also saw i was scrolling through i saw a action figure
of trump and it is the most generous physique i have ever seen given to a politician. He is thin.
He's got a nice jaw.
He's looking fit.
I guess the hair is pretty on point and the face.
Oh, no, but the face is very good.
The face of it's very good.
Unironically, I made that face a bit more orange.
If you look, if you click next,
that's what the face really was like.
And I took it out of the box.
I was like, no, he doesn't look like that. did a much better your version yeah he's a little dusted there
but also look at the physique like he doesn't have that taper in he's fat as shit yeah you're
right you're right i'm not gonna shit on star wars fandom because i because i'm such a huge
star trek fan like i'm we're shitting on harley oh
well we're shitting on harley's star wars fandom though a little bit i'm having a hard time with
the doll frankly of you i just i'm struggling with that dude how could you that's some serial
killer shit because because because because i do love you harley but but goddamn you you have a doll of yourself
holding ray's hand and i'm struggling with that so much and i don't think i i can't i can't decide
if it's worse that you're wearing street clothes in as the doll or it's better like i almost feel
like if you'd made an alternate version of you where you're a
jedi i'd have been more on board but the fact that you're in street clothes and ray is wearing her
jedi robes and i put my jacket over her shoulders street clothes is better because then real harley
can hook up with all sorts of people right the blue chick from x-men now you guys know why i was like hold up hold up don't
insult that power puff guy glass houses bro fast forward to me with the star wars girl
i'll hold your hand the fact that we started off with the anchor point of that power puffs guy
actually makes you look more normal here because that guy, that guy's shit is crazy.
You haven't had a comic book commissioned or anything.
Have you?
No,
I guarantee he's thinking about it though.
He is.
He's thinking about it now.
You know what?
If you were to take that photo of your next to Ray from star Wars and you
would have photoshopped a real life girl's face of someone you have a crush
on.
That's something an Indian guy would post on Facebook. Mm would post on facebook uh that's a whole extra level i feel like i feel like that's a
whole extra level have you ever seen those pictures like indian people facebook this is
it is hilarious the amount of of indian guys that will just jump into a comment section and be like, post bubs and veggie just straight up on like here with my dog canoeing.
And it's just so many sexual comments underneath it.
That's funny.
Show me your bubs.
Show me your bubs and veggie.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Well, this is this is certainly a hobby.
It is. hobby it is the thing is i i used one hobby and another passion to kind of like uh leapfrog it here so i was like well i buy toys
that's stupid why would i buy toys so you could just look at it no i'm gonna take photographs of
them so now it's like i've taken two hobbies mixed it into one um and then like you know
i post it up i do it on social media so you know whatever you have to tell yourself these are tax
right god damn that lip balm looks cool as fuck now. That's what I'm saying, bro.
Guys, this is toys.
You should see, like, I have an arsenal of weapons.
You got a He-Man shit?
All fake, like, portal guns, gravity guns, Captain America's shield, Thor's hammer.
Is the portal gun something you could grab?
I really like portal i don't i
none i don't have any of them here right now but the portal gun is it's the white portal gun and
it has um the orange strip on it but you could take that off and make it the blue one or the
purple one because there's like three portal guns in the games um lights out makes noises
the gravity gun i got actually one of my craziest things probably the needler
lights out makes noises the gravity gun i got actually one of my craziest things probably the needler needle was like 350 bucks it's like a big ass needler and when i put that in my hand i was
like oh shit master chief's a big ass dude because he holds two of these you know like three hundred
fifty dollars yeah it was really a gun dollars for two of them? Or you just got one? I just got one.
That would have been crazy if you just spent $700.
Dual wielding is the meta with the needler.
Am I the only one?
Yeah, but I'd like to get my hands on
maybe if they had a Magnum from Halo.
That'd be pretty good.
If I start collecting toys and figurines,
my Twitch chat will be like, man, what a cool hobby you've picked up.
Oh, yes.
That's how they'd react.
Oh, man.
Yeah, every so often
Taylor raids me when I stream
and it's like, guys, guys, we talk
nicely to each other here.
They don't.
Oh, my chat's funny.
I will go into most chats
on Twitch,
and it'll be like someone will say,
hey, what you should be doing here is hit X twice next to that box,
and you'll get a little bit of extra loot.
And I'll see the streamer being like,
thank you so much, so-and-so69420.
Really appreciate it.
In mine, I'll be like, what am I supposed to do? And they'll be like, shoot the red box.
Shoot the red box. And then everybody will say that. And then I i'll do it and it turns out the red box is dynamite and i
have to restart a 20 minute mission because i died and it's it it makes you know it's making
me a better gamer are you ever like guys i actually don't want to be trolled right now
i'm kind of suffering i want to have success. The best way to stop trolling.
Yeah, exactly.
No, no, no. Internally.
Hey, stop trolling me, okay?
Internally, are you ever like, I don't want to be trolled right now?
How do I get actual help?
No, honestly, I don't give... The gaming is kind of...
It's not secondary. It's important.
But it's mostly I'm just making jokes and fucking around.
I interact with chat constantly. Even when i'm playing red dead or something i'm always
looking over seeing if somebody has a funny joke or something because my chat not even pumping
their tires they're genuinely hilarious they have the same same sense of humor we have here on the
show and they're pumping it into the chat constantly they got good bits good jokes and i
really like that so yeah taylor murko on Twitch and Woody's Gamertag on Twitch.
We're taking Twitch by storm, folks.
We're getting 1,000 viewers a stream when we're watching 60 days in there.
Sometimes Taylor and I combine for 1,200.
Sometimes.
But I do like it.
And I bring in 200.
I'm sorry.
I cut you off.
1200 viewers is actually quite good.
I've seen Taylor get 1100,
probably 12 too.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I had about 1100 people hanging out,
watching 60 days in.
And it,
first of all,
that show fucking rocks.
Great show.
My gaming streams don't pull as many views
as my just chatting and my other streams,
but I still want to do the games.
I feel like that's part and parcel of doing Twitch,
and it's more fun.
Not more fun, but it's fun having something to do
and have a common engagement.
Yeah, Red Dead, definitely going to keep playing that.
That game rocks.
After this, Portal maybe.
I might do Portal.
I was talking to Chiz about he and I maybe doing a two-person stream,
playing that.
I've never played Portal before, and I'm really nervous about how dumb
I'm going to look playing it.
It'll be very frustrating, yes, for sure.
It'll be a very frustrating experience.
I'm sure it'll be very frustrating,
and so that's why I'm kind of holding off on it.
I want to do more GTA stuff
like Grand Theft Auto 5
is probably the most fun game I've played
in the last 10 years
other than COD 4
I have not had
and I played 100% of GTA 5 the story mode
on stream and it was a fucking
blast
that game is so much fun
I love that game
I played Portal a couple of times so you play in Portal 2 it sounds like fucking blast. That game is so much fun. I love that game. I love that game.
I've played Portal a couple of times.
So you play in Portal 2, it sounds like, if you do in a duel.
Portal 2, yeah.
I played through that. I played through it with Colin.
I don't know how many times I played that.
So you want to know a good game? I might be able to make you look smarter.
That's why it would be good to do it with Chiz, because
he's going to know the places to shoot
and my priority isn't going to be solving puzzles for the most part.
It's going to be joking around with chat and having a good time.
That seems to be the formula that works on my channel.
There are some games that lend really well to that.
I know you would probably shoot down the idea right off the bat but a game like animal crossing
leaves so much for you and your chat and even though there's like a lot of games that the chat
may have experienced but i feel like with you roasting games like a game like animal crossing
that's so popular and there is a lot to enjoy in it i think you booting that up and playing it like
i'd love to watch that
i'll play whatever you know but what do you do in animal crossing is it like farmville you like
you make your guy yeah that's it oh okay well you make you make you make your guy and then you uh
you know you shake a tree for a branch you take three branches you make an axe you like you know
chop down i think i asked on stream what's animal crossing
like and someone said it's like farmville i've never played either game and i just go is it
like farmville and i know nothing more about what the game is about my wife and daughter seem to
just go fishing a lot and they build a museum with the things they collect yeah yep it's just
it's a good stream game and it's one that you can like
you can get eight eight other streamers in there with you also or what's really fun especially
with your audiences you'd be surprised how many of them actually probably play animal crossing
and you go to their islands like you tour their island you walk around their island you're like
this is bullshit go in their house you see how they set
things up and they get to take you on this little tour and it's fun i don't know if i'll play around
with my chat though because like i'll like i'll raid some people and like woody woody's got fuck
you money he doesn't care he's doing this for fun so i'll raid woody and he's like yeah we're good
everybody behave and i'll get someone like like i rated i'll read tucker with like 800 people or something
trying to be like nice like hey you're my friend tucker i really like you you're a good guy here's
a raid being friendly and immediately tucker be like all right everyone we got real rules here
things you can say this isn't taylor's chat uh you can't
i always do before i rate i always tell everybody to behave they don't it doesn't work at all
do you play on computer yeah yeah I play on computer so I've got like I even play GTA on
my PC just with a controller you would need a switch right to play Animal Crossing is it only
on the switch yeah oh really yeah I do have a switch but i i did not know that i i thought you could
download every game online at this point you gotta get animal you gotta get animal crossing i'm
telling you i think he's on to something taylor i i think it's a super stream friendly game
it's mega mega popular right now so it might even bring an audience of some sort the only challenge
is i think a lot of the people who enjoy animal crossing might be
a little pure so there's a yes they're gonna be like what the people that that play animal
crossing like me there is no one playing animal crossing that's available that's like you know
right a couple guys i watch i watch it's an untapped degenerate
market yeah and we got the d gens we got the rsk killers we got the dawn boys we're all about dawn
now if you like uh if you like um gta you'd probably like far cry also that's a pretty
fun game to stream i've heard mixed things about far cry because i watched a couple videos of it
someone recommended it so it's on youtube and a couple of videos of it. Someone recommended it.
So it's on YouTube.
And a lot of people were saying that it sucked.
And that it was not that great of a game.
Maybe it was just a version.
It's tough to say because we're talking about, you say Far Cry,
we're talking about literally eight games.
Oh.
But like Far Cry 5 is the most recent one where it's like, you know,
kind of like, yeah, it's like the whole bible
belt uh anarchy vibe like uh something like that and then there was like an add-on to it but
it's still like you know it's shit to pay every year and get that game that's just kind of tweaked
a bit more and a bit more maybe but i think if you've never touched them like you got a whole lot you can enjoy there a lot
yeah um i think uh i think like you would do exceptionally well and by the way i'm just
listening off things to you that work for me as well because i feel like we probably have adult
audiences like yeah i can't i know like i don't play Fortnite. I don't really enjoy Fortnite.
So I'm fortunate that like my audience doesn't expect me to play a game like Fortnite.
I'm sure your audience is probably the same.
You know what I mean?
Yeah, I'm not playing Fortnite.
Yeah, I think there's like a lot of games you could play,
but really, and I've been noticing trending,
especially on YouTube and just in terms of enjoyment
like i'm really enjoying vr and vr content and making vr content and watching like like if you
took your attitude to vr chat where you're now in an open world with like you know 30 people that
look like anime like furries and they're talking at you
and you could talk back with them like the outcome of what you would be able to pull from those
scenarios would be so funny even if you just go on youtube and look up some vr chat stuff
that's a good idea because that's just that's just riffing and i like doing that you might
need a better computer in there shooting the yeah yeah i probably might need a better no better problem for vr yeah but you could actually go on to vr
chat and not be vr mouse and keyboard but it's not as fun because it's fun to grab
another gpu and another cpu yeah i don't know your cpu so i i can't say you need another gpu
i'm sorry say that again that in common i don't know uh yeah there is a chance
you might just what you need you need to buy this from me this 1080 and you need to buy a uh no this
is a 1080i this 1080i will run it fine and i've also got a vive like the original vive and i'll
sell them both for like real cheap okay that's a worthy investment i
feel like your audience would really like that i need to google that game also a little side thing
if you do by the way go into vr and you do that stuff i'm all i'm also down to stream as well
you know i stream vr too or whatever so it'd be jokes we could uh but i'm on facebook
which is fine because if you're
like oh yo harley's streaming over on facebook people are like we're not going there yeah
i don't counts they're not boomers the the kyle idea might be a good one i'd also like
with taylor's stream success it is not a silly idea to invest in some sort of alpha rig yeah i'm getting to the point now it's
like oh and i told him i would on the stream last night thank you god king hud on twitch for
donating 700 last night that's ridiculous but thank you big ups that is it's such a it's such
a wild thing i remember when i first streamed on twitch i i
got a 700 donation and i was like freaking i was like can i call you can i call you after the
stream i'm gonna be done in like an hour can i call you whisper me your phone number uh and i
called this guy and i was like yo what's up he's like yeah man hey so crazy you're calling me i'm
like not that crazy it's crazy that you gave me 700 and and
and also like you know like i had i have like another job and a thing that i do and like people
know that i'm working you know and i was like why i didn't like i needed to know because i didn't
fully understand the culture of it at that point when i started streaming this is like 2016 and i
was like why is it um
why would you do that he was like yeah i'm just successful guy i like what you do and uh you know
i just wanted to share it and isn't it just so fucked that someone gave you 700 for sitting on
your ass and just chilling and playing games it almost makes me feel guilty when i get donations
like 100 oh my god like i don't i don't deserve this for
sitting here silly on the internet like thank you so much and like i felt bad because first of all
this guy donated it in 50 increments so 14 50 donations and like i'm stopping the 60 days in
show we're watching all the time being like thank you so much that's so fucking kind to you and it
gets to the point where a lot of the normal viewers the other fucking 1100 people at one point are like watch the fucking show stop talking to me like all right
all right i'm sorry i'm sorry thank you thank you and so it's it is yeah i know i resonate with what
you're saying about like the it feels so easy what you're doing and then getting paid for it like
you feel like a criminal almost't it isn't it wild
when you watch those videos i don't know if you keep up with it but like like some of like the
the twitch girls that will be like pay five bucks it's not anything and stuff like that
i always ever since i ever approached streaming or anything like that like i've always been like
you don't even need to don Don't even worry about it.
I'll play with people, even if they're not subscribed or whatever.
It's so weird, because the way I feel, even if someone goes and gives $50,
I'm like, damn.
Even now, I'm like, $50?
$50 is real money.
$50 is a big-ass fucking amount of money to give to a person and he bought a lot
of money on his all these are huge amounts and hugely appreciated i do sometimes go the other
way when people donate 10 cents and it's like all right all right that was a dime do we have to stop
the whole show and read this out and do the whole thing for a dime?
This is kind of a troll donation.
Usually what I do with that is like, if it's a like the stream, I'll be like, oh, thank you for the bits like the stream.
Glad you like it.
If it's like 10 cents, that's a huge sentence.
It's like I can't derail everything that's going on for that.
Like people, people won't.
Well, that's why they make minimums,
right?
I think you could have minimum set up.
I don't know if I could have that on Facebook,
but I think you could have like a minimum thing set up.
I do a bit of those,
but then my chat is like,
what do you missed one?
You missed one.
Woody.
It's like,
I didn't,
he gave me a penny to say mean things.
I just ignored it.
And this guy,
it was also funny because as he's donating the fifties and making it stop at
one point,
the chat turns against him a little bit and is like,
stop ruining the flow.
You're just going to charge this back anyway.
And that was at like $400 donated.
And then he just keeps donating more being like,
no bitch.
I got a solid job in STEM.
I'm not charging back.
I'm good. I'm good charging back. I'm good.
I'm good, man.
It's just alpha.
Yeah, I like you.
I like this guy.
God King Hud, do not jump over to Woody's chat.
Oh, no, I wasn't trying to do that.
I like the whole, like, hey, I work in STEM.
I got fuck you money.
I have $700 of disposable income, and I choose to use it to piss off the rest of your chat.
So suck it.
That's the thing.
It's like,
like I'm so thankful for the donations,
but when somebody donates a huge amount of money like that,
I'm like,
man,
I'm a fucking loser compared to this guy.
Like this.
I couldn't just decide,
you know,
I'm going to throw $700, but I...
Yes, you could. You just got it.
I would feel uncomfortable about it.
That's real money.
Just decide I'm more responsible than this guy,
and I'm happy with that.
You know what?
Once we get that Dawn Dish Sub sponsorship,
the money's going to roll in.
I like that he said...
I like that he told you he was an engineer, but I like to imagine he like i told you before the show i was like that guy drives a
fucking train he's broke tomorrow i hope not i hope not i mean i just checked my paypal before
the show and it no it hasn't charged back it's it's sitting there so well good for him good for
him thank you very much again god king hud appreciate it very nice of you even someone's like subscribing it's just like
whoa like that's the price of netflix yeah essentially someone chose you over netflix
or has said that you are giving like enough of a you know however much that comparison is prorated
like you're giving enough of that it's like quite the compliment that's the whole twitch thing is
sitting there with like the amount of subs rolling in the amount of donations and just being like
oh man like i feel you get like a feeling i don't know if i'm alone in this seems like harley you
have it too almost like a feeling of guilt like you don't deserve this like you don't deserve
oh yeah when people hit me up and they're like bro you didn't stream yesterday. I'm like, fuck, I didn't. How many people do you subscribe to, Taylor?
I think most of my subs, I'd have to go check.
Most of the subs I have are gifted to me,
but I do have a couple that I paid.
I think, I don't remember.
I think I might pay for yours, Woody.
And then I know I do for Fil for filthy because filthy's given me some some
good twitch tips over the the months and i really appreciate that uh i subscribe to tucker because
tucker's given me some really valuable stuff in twitter dms we're all asking questions about like
what should i do here what should i do there and so like that's invaluable so that's easily worth
a couple bucks a month i subscribe to maybe between like four and seven right because
i don't maintain all of them reliably and uh i do it i think for the same reason people subscribe
to you or i get a little more attention you know like if someone sees a sub wrote something you're
like oh you know like he supports me i should give him the attention that he's looking for you know
and then uh we do marbles races.
You can tell who subscribed and who didn't.
And I just, you know, be a little more inclined to root for the guys who backs you up.
Yeah, that's how we got.
That's how we got on the show.
Oh, exactly.
You got him on the show because of that.
And like Twitch is I'm having more fun on Twitch than I honestly ever had on YouTube creation.
Because YouTube, you make the video, you upload it,
and then you read after-the-fact comments.
By the way, Pastilli is still killing it.
He hit that massive bump right about the time we had him on the show last year.
And he is still riding super high.
So if you guys like TARP.
We had 165,000 viewers watching him play today i watch pastilli
three hours a day every day like i watch a lot have you been watching his raid series on youtube
i watched the first one and maybe some of the next one he's been having a hard fucking time
he's had a couple of shit tears like i i mean you know it's it's an episode every day on youtube
that he's uploading i think he's trying to you know it's it's an episode every day on youtube that he's uploading
i think he's trying to you know build the youtube up quite a bit because he's putting a lot of
content out there it's it's not just the raid series but um i'm sure he recorded it all i think
i've seen four episodes and it was probably all those four episodes are probably recorded in like
an hour and a half so i'm seeing like two weeks ago or something like that but still
i'm just like i hope he finally finds those pliers i'm worried about him he's having a hard time
it's but i i like him a lot so um you know one of my one of my favorite tarkov players for sure
yeah yeah i i the ones i watch most aside from the guys that we play with, Leo, Larry, Larry, the strong and Devin to be that Anton landmark and
pastille, not necessarily in that order, but like,
I watch those guys all the time. I'm there constantly.
Pastille is amazingly good at the game.
I think he's won every tournament they've had. And yeah,
like it's amazing. One was team based guy. Yeah. I've never watched guy yeah but he's so likable the likable guy and the
all right please don't take any of what i'm saying and like imagine that it comes from
pastille but i've wondered if like the way that he did he takes all of his donations a hundred
percent and sends it to a charity it's for these kids i don't know who these kids are but they're
fucking rich directs to the charity like you can's for these kids. I don't know who these kids are, but they're fucking rich. It auto-directs to the
charity. You can't even donate to him.
When you click donate, it goes
to the charity. Thank you for that explanation.
So there's no opportunity
for silliness or going on, right?
When you attempt to donate for silly, you're actually
donating to something called the Starlight Foundation
and it goes to these kids who are now
fucking rich, I'm sure. Anyway, that's a joke.
There's lots of...
A bunch of crippled kids riding around in Lambos.
Real sidebar.
Oh, you thought we were going to spend it on medical equipment?
I'm falling.
There's some kid with a moonroof on his Lambo up
so he can have his fucking drip in there.
He's been live
for 18 hours and 25 minutes
and he has 137,000
viewers right now. I'm one of them. He's doing
a drop event. So if you watch
him, you get things
in game. I've gotten some blood
sets, some moonshine, etc.
It's not super duper stuff, but it's free stuff.
It can be though. This drop event is not super duper stuff but it's free stuff it can be though
this drop event is not a super duper stuff toned down not yeah yeah it's early in the
wipe so to drop millions and red rebels yeah yeah also it's not found in raid this is tarkov
minutiae so you can't sell it you can only use it and okay anyway um that's why his numbers are
super duper right now but he normally pulls like like 13,000, 16,000 people all the time.
He's super.
Yeah, 138,000 people is insane.
Yeah.
He was at 155, like I said earlier.
Insane.
He was over the 170s, I think.
Like, incredible.
But here's where I was headed.
I think part of the reason, aside from the gameplay and just the stream quality,
that people like Pastilli is that he's such a good guy i think pastille might be more popular and more successful by giving all of his
donations away than he might have been if he kept them all does that make sense perhaps like you're
like my gosh if there's somebody you want to see win in life it's pastille yeah it sometimes in business taking all the money for
yourself is not the most profitable way to go you know like if you have distributors and a channel
supplier or something you want all of those guys to make money if you set up bad deals with them
so that it goes to you you might earn less anyway pastille i think part of the reason he's so popular
is that he's so good and by doing this
good thing he's more popular and it's just everybody's winning in this situation it it
helps him out you're a million percent like and like his main money from that is coming from all
the subs that are still subscribing throughout the entire stream he even i i popped into i just
happened to hear when i jumped into the stream earlier today, he was like, oh, you guys are going crazy with the subs.
We're at like 22,000, 23,000 subscribers.
That's like $70,000 a month for him
because I'm sure he's hit that sub echelon level
where you start getting more money.
Someone on me and Woody's level,
you pay $5 for a sub, we get $2.50.
Once you get big dick
level i bet he's getting three dollars 350 and so like 70 grand a month like he's still fucking
rolling it doing great good for fucking him and so he has the ability to do really good things
like with his charity stream i saw earlier today that bar it was almost at nine hundred thousand
dollars for like a children's hospital he was trying to hit a million in a year.
And now he was like,
he was hoping to hit a million by August.
It's,
is it mid June?
Yeah.
Early,
early June.
I'm going to go on.
I'm going to go on the record saying he's going to hit the goal.
Yeah.
I didn't think he was going to hit the goal.
Frankly,
I didn't want to say anything,
but it was like,
you know,
I don't know how much I've given to those fucking kids but it's a bunch
usually i think i have something funny to say and i want the text to speech
i i i think maybe i'm at like a hundred bucks like total ever uh something like that you know
nothing crazy but yeah i'm nothing crazy either but it's easy to like do that when it's like um
let's go into a fucking cherry yeah i think the default is ten dollars australian which is like
six us so that's the increment i think i use or maybe the default is 20 whatever the default is
but yeah it's you know it drops down a bunch in us yeah i like that he looks my age
that's a cool thing too he is our age yeah not my age. That's a cool thing, too. He is our age, yeah.
Not my age.
What's this?
I was like, kids.
Not my age.
Me and Harley's age.
Yeah.
They're used to kids coming through when they got the quick flick of the wrist and they're like, you know.
Tarkov is a game that really rewards knowledge and strategy.
And he's also a really good gamer
like there's no getting past that his aim is fantastic but to think of when if you picture
the best guy in the world at a particular game you probably think he's 21 uh and pastilli he has
a wife he he was in the australian army i don't know army marines or whatever he had but he was in the australian military and uh like this is he's lived a life uh he wasn't raised rich uh you know i he's talked
about that on stream before and uh so this income bracket is an entirely new experience for he and
his wife and it's just it's it's amazing to see him do well and And, and it's so crazy. His wife's parents must be like,
what?
Your husband does what now?
And he's actually banking like what?
Right.
I imagine they always liked using,
right.
You were saying like,
he,
he's got like Chris Pratt vibes where it's like,
you know what?
I want to see this guy do really well.
He seems like the kind of
guy that would be genuinely friendly if you saw him in real life like wouldn't be standoffish
wouldn't be rude would be like really endeared like oh oh you you watch the stream you you watch
the show oh so he rarely gets upset like the only times i've seen him get upset is when he's been
playing for like literally been up for 24 or 30 hours or something like that and stuff gets
annoying and he's just like no we're not gonna do that no no we're not gonna do that we've got
to kill kill a 37 more times before i can sleep all right so we're doing this you're doing an 18
hour stream that seems awful that's really long i've done some over 12 but yeah i i can tell when woody's
grinding on twitch because i'll like i'll go to your channel and i'll check like the videos and
i'll be like ah oh woody's gamer tag 11 hours and 42 minutes stream and i'll be like man i'm a
i need to step up
i got a good uh chris chris pratt story that i feel like illustrates it illustrated him and
like just like it just he was just like i don't know i felt like it was like same wavelength
um my girlfriend and i we were in the lobby of our hotel and we're going to the elevator
and as we're going like the guy in front of us is a guy but he's being like ushered by two people
and there's like a couple of girls like kind of getting excited i'm like what the fuck
and i'm like walking my girlfriend's like oh it's chris pratt and he's like literally five feet in
front of us and i'm like oh this is crazy we're about to get on an elevator with him
because we are also at this hotel so we are allowed on that elevator with him this is gonna
be awesome so like we get there and the doors open and we're there like same time and like
he walks in and goes to like inside the elevator and goes to the corner and like he's looking at
the ground and then he turns around he's looking down but like the two guys as they come in
they're like,
hold up, we're going to have to catch the next one.
It was like his security.
They don't want us in the elevator with him, you know?
But I'm like, in that moment there, I don't care.
I get it.
I understand.
He's like very, this guy's in a Marvel movie.
People will probably touch him if you're that close.
Yeah.
So I get it.
But at the same time, I'm like, oh, I see how it is. movie like people will probably touch him if you're that close yeah yeah so i get it but like
at the same time i'm like oh i see how it is and the doors are closing and that's like when chris
pratt looks up and like it was a joke he was joking i gathered but he like fake protests like
oh no wait like he was looking down and the doors were closing he's like what oh wait oh sorry like
as the doors were closing it was so funny just dude he's even cooler now he literally trolled
us in that moment there because it's like we're allowed on the elevator too you don't own the
elevator and then it's like he kind of like agreed with us but oh too late sorry oh oh had i known
yeah the doors were like closing.
He's looking down.
He's like, oh, wait.
Oh, it was good.
And that was the last time you ever saw him.
It was.
No, I saw him shortly after in that cartoon.
I have a Chael Sonnen story. We're in Boston.
Kyle's there.
Wait, a who story?
Chael Sonnen is a UFC fighter.
And I'm a particularly big fan of Chael Sonnen.
I've, I've watched like every piece of media he's ever made. I, I, everything he says, I,
and he's an, he's an expert orator, you know, not only is he a great fighter, but he is,
in my opinion, the best trash talker, the best storyteller of any UFC fighter ever thus far.
talker the best storyteller of any ufc fighter ever thus far cool so i'm at boston or i'm in boston and he's uh i see him he just won his fight he beat shogun a former world champion he's having
a good night and he's about to take the elevator and i'm about to take the elevator i have to go
in the same direction that he's going and i am so fucking starstruck my sissy pussy ass decides not to get on him because he's
probably had a long day and i never said anything i never met him i just saw him
fuck your weakness in that moment probably pissed him off even more what said i didn't hear you
like you're you're not getting on the elevator with him there i doubt it
like that bothered him even more now he has a youtube channel where he makes a couple videos
a day quick things where he talks about uh mostly mma related news sometimes wrestling because it's
a passion and he takes viewer questions and answers them and i've thought about putting
together a viewer question his viewer questions the viewers don't usually do a great job.
They don't communicate all the time.
They don't talk to, sometimes they're just holding up a camera
and it's shitty lighting, backlighting and whatnot.
I'm like, I should put together a question that will be memorable.
Sometimes, maybe I'll get it done.
We'll see.
Sissy pussy.
You don't have the gayest thing you've ever done.
You don't have a question yet?
I've got a couple.
I've got a couple I could ask.
How big is it?
I've got a question.
I'm contributing to the...
Who is it?
I asked Joe Lozano a question
I had saved up for a couple of years.
I've told most of it it before we'll do it
quickly i trained mma brazilian jiu-jitsu mostly a little bit striking for a long time i went to
joe's gym and it was one of the first times i'd ever put them together uh i was in a guy's guard
which is basically missionary sex position i'm the the guy in this situation right he's on other dudes on the bottom legs around my waist cool so it's like amazon also okay and uh uh anyway the guy hits me in the chin and i am just a little
bit like shocked like awoken by this and i've always wondered like how hardcore was that right
like a real fighter someone like joe going through a training camp, does he get that
stun all the time?
Or is it pretty rare?
You know, I don't want to exaggerate, but the term I'm thinking of is like, you know,
was that like minor little brain damage, sort of, you know, stinger shock guys are talking
about?
And so I was talking to Joe recently and he's like, no, Woody, that was probably nothing.
And he's like, you just can't generate.
He's like, your power, of course it comes from your legs and your butt and the twist of your back.
That's where power comes from.
That guy, literally, it was just arm.
And they all noticed it.
Joe saw it.
Joe was with another real fighter who saw it.
And they were like, fucking Woody just got popped and uh so he saw it he knows it and he's like you were just startled you know you didn't
expect to get hit you got hit but it was nothing like all the terms i use are too extreme it wasn't
a flash knockout of any some sort it wasn't one of those like wasn't even a minor concussion you were not yes cussified at
all right you were startled by a fist to the face and he says that uh when he he had a term for it
i've forgotten it but he says that often at the beginning of camps he goes through a phase like
that too where he'll make that mistake because he's not super sharp and he'll get like, you know, just sort of not even concussed, but like, oh, right, right.
You know, don't do that.
If you're in that position in between someone's legs,
you're either real close with your head like on his chest
or you're postured all the way up.
In between, that's get hit zone.
And so he's like, yeah, that happens all the time.
But those arm punches, they're not concussion punches.
Anyway, got that question answered.
Yeah.
Big card next month.
I'm excited.
I don't want to dwell on it too much or anything on the show
because I don't know what else to say about it.
But, you know, three title fights plus the Rosnami-Yunus rematch
all on Fight Island should make for a good night.
Fight Island is something they're putting together on the beach, they say,
in Abu Dhabi, on a beach.
And they're going to have 10 square miles,
which, what is that?
Two and a half by two and a half miles?
I don't know.
It's incalculable.
Yeah.
Or maybe a third, three and a third.
Whatever.
Square root of 10 is probably something.
And so they have 10 square miles
yeah it's imaginary correct i'm gonna do a twitch stream of just simple math for 11 hours
anyway uh yeah so there they is a response to covet 19 where they're having a real hard time putting on events, they have Fight Island.
Now, it sounds like the UFC bought an island and put it there.
Really, they're just working with Abu Dhabi, who's trying to build a tourist industry.
And in a place that's already a resort area, they're doing fights in Abu Dhabi.
If you're a fight fan,
it looks like they're putting on one of their Super Bowls.
You know, they do a lot of events every year, but usually two-ish are like a bunch of champions on the same card.
A bunch of, and then the guys who aren't champions
are really interesting name brand fighters who move the needle.
And this is what they're doing.
Yeah, it'll be a good night of fights. It'll be worth for i think i think if you're gonna pay for one card this year this
might be it unless the uh the um you know the khabib fight happens uh it's it's sometime soon
you know that i know i september 19th yeah but if happens, you know how this stuff goes.
Especially with his father being on the brink of death.
They're saying he's responsive
a little bit now.
So I don't know.
Do you remember what his dad has?
COVID.
Really?
Yeah.
Oh.
For some reason I thought it was... I'm not really sure so i i don't know that was my
understanding i i'm not yeah definitely not maybe i'm wrong i don't know what he has so i i for some
reason that's what's in my head like like i i know that it was i thought it was complications
from covid and he had gone into a coma that stinks but it could have been a heart surgery
now that i think i don't know i have in my head but i'm not very sure anyway yeah the covid stuff is interesting that it's staging some sort of
comeback i'm sure these riots and protests are a great way for it to spread right um well i mean
they're starting a lot of fires and i think that that's probably good at killing the virus
and and the police seem to be spraying a lot of uh pepper
spray and i think maybe that's probably it might be lysol you don't know that that would be funny
that the cops are being such pieces of shit the people are literally they're protesting
police brutality and the cops are like i know what we should do we should be brutal
they took the beverly woodworth you think you're crying i'll give you something to cry about
approach yeah yeah and they're gonna brutalize their way right out of a fucking job and i'm
thrilled dude thrilled have you seen the people like i put put my badge on there, gave them my gun and walked out the door, told them, you know, you're probably a Democrat pussy.
This place is a bunch of Democrat pussies.
And it's like, it sounds like it's really great that you left.
Yeah.
If you have a problem with them restraining your police brutality, please retire.
Yeah.
please retire yeah i'm sure you'll find a wonderful job in either the food service industry or the retail environment so maybe there's something better suited for him maybe he should be a
mercenary in freaking afghanistan or something i don't know yeah they shoot back over there um
what i'm fine with that too yeah i'm fine i'm I'm more than fine with that. Yeah, I'm glad.
I saw a little bit of that bill that they're trying to push through.
And one of the things they're trying to eliminate is no-knock warrants.
Would love that.
What is that?
Yeah, tell me more about the bill and who's pushing it.
The Democrats have a law enforcement bill.
Lots of sweeping changes for law enforcement protocols that lots of sweeping changes for, uh, for law enforcement protocols and, and, uh, policing tactics.
And one of them, uh, the one that stuck out to me,
the thing I read about was eliminating no knock warrants. Huh?
What's a no knock warrant.
That's when I have a warrant to come search your home or come arrest someone
who's in your home and i just like storm your
house i don't knock and give you a chance to give that person up or turn yourself in or let me in in
a reasonable manner and say sorry i have a search warrant like in the movies i have a search warrant
um yeah we we need to look over the premises it's more like an like a diehard movie where they just
like swing in through the fucking door with battering rams and a whole SWAT team moves into the house.
And there's been several instances of police getting either the wrong house or a house where it's the right house, but that guy's not even there.
In fact, he's already in custody at a sheriff's department.
They go in.
The homeowner defends
himself. They murder the
homeowner. And then the surviving
homeowner is then charged with
attempted murder for
defending his home against
men storming into it. Yeah.
That's what happened in the last case.
So there was a
woman who was murdered. Oh, was it the swatting thing?
It wasn't swatting, no.
They had a warrant. Kyle laid it out pretty well. They had a warrant to go in and get someone. There was a woman who was murdered. It wasn't swatting, no.
What it is, they had a warrant.
Kyle laid it out pretty well.
They had a warrant to go in and get someone.
That particular person they were after,
I think was already in custody or in jail somewhere else.
All right.
But the two people that are in the house,
they're committed relationship of some sort.
They bust in.
They don't announce themselves as police like you'd expect them to the dude takes out a gun starts shooting doesn't hit anyone um the police kill the woman christ and now the guy who
shot at the police but they had no walk warrant busted in the house, look like a bad situation, they're charging the living guy with attempted murder.
And it's all based on the police busting through
and the guy wasn't even there.
Yeah, I'm so glad that they never-
What's the right solution for that?
That's where I'm stuck too.
Can I go in for a little second?
Yeah.
I'm cautious about stripping the police
of some of the tools that they have
right i wrote on my facebook you can maybe enlighten me that i wasn't against chokeholds
because following the method of if you're against something you have to be for something better
right so let's say the primary tool i'd want them to use is soothing voices right nurses in every
hospital everywhere use soothing voices to calm? Nurses in every hospital everywhere use
soothing voices to calm down belligerent or unreasonable patients all the time instead of
breaking out batons and shit, right? And I feel like the videos I see of European police start
off that way, you know, and they have a lot of success with just calm down. This isn't a situation,
getting violent here is just going to make everything worse for everyone involved, you know, instead of just being fucking bully alpha from the get-go, right?
That is an escalation technique.
It leads to more.
So let's say tool one is soothing voices.
But you're dealing with people who have a huge incentive to get away, right?
Maybe you've got me on a murder charge.
And what happens if I respond to your soothing voice
like you want me to is terrible i'm going to jail for 15 years 18 years the rest of my life
you know what this is my opportunity to book it or maybe kill you and book it i don't know you
already got me on one murder like there are people they're dealing with that are super bad so they're
not going to respond to soothing voices let's all agree that happens to police sometimes. Of course. What do you want to use? Taser? Maybe that's better. I'm open to
that idea. In my observation and whatever experience, taser's really bad while you're
getting tased and then you're not tased and you're instantly okay again. Now, sometimes the threat of
the next tase is enough to be like, dude, I don't want that anymore.
Sometimes it's not. Sometimes I've seen guys get tased and just shake it off,
or maybe only one of the prongs hits or something. I guess I'm just like, all right,
then we have batons and guns. I prefer chokeholds over batons and guns. It is my little bit of fighting experience. I've been choked and given chokes so many times, it's basically fine.
little bit of fighting experience.
Like I've been choked and given chokes so many times.
It's basically fine.
I know a guy just died and I know other guys have died,
but those are alpha bully dickhead cops who held it for six minutes.
You know,
if you just trying to get the cuffs on the guy and you have the right attitude,
then I take a choke over a baton every time.
That's just me.
Maybe I'm wrong.
Maybe I need to be educated.
If we take away no knock warrants, 15 seconds no knock warrants what if that allows me to dispose of
the evidence or prepare for your entrance in a violent way no knock warrants the question is
do they solve more problems or create more problems and i'm open to that's really what
it comes down to you're right because like you have to be a
fucking retard to not be like
you know oh well the
police have to announce themselves when they're showing
up to a known gang hangout
and there's a bunch of people in there you
know that could harm both the gang members
and the police by letting
bullets fly when otherwise maybe it didn't have
to a little bit of a stalemate but then also
it's like so you're gonna let this guy storm into some random motherfucker's house or apartment because
you got a a wild hair up your ass or a little turns out to not be that verifiable tip like that
it is risky and i am on kyle's team of like we like i understand totally what you're saying
woody but like if anything cops have too much leeway to do whatever the fuck they want right now.
Policing's a hard job, and it should be a hard job.
And they've made it so easy for themselves and so safe for themselves that a lot of people who are completely unqualified to do it feel like they can do it.
And they do do it.
And we see the results of that.
It should be a hard job.
It should be a hard job it should be a dangerous job
and only people who are capable and qualified to do that job while serving a community which
is their primary role should be doing that fucking job you don't want a bunch of billy
badasses with with all tatted up with like kill them all on written on their fucking gun and
nonsense like that i ran into so many of those nonsensical maniacs in the gun community.
And it's fine if you want to cosplay as like a space Marine in your backyard.
But when we put you in a fucking police car to serve the community and you're
riding around like Billy badass,
wearing your utility belt like Batman being a professional bully, you need to be wiped out.
You need to be gone. You don't need to be doing this job. You're not about serving the community.
We've seen endless video examples of what these people are really like. It's a job that draws
bullets. It's a job that draws people who crave a little bit of power, a modicum of control over their fellow man.
They don't see those protesters as fellow citizens. They see them as,
oh, I get hurt somebody today. You see the excitement in their eyes when they get to
pull out their gear and use it. Oh, this is what we train for. It's like that.
They're so glad to be able to go out there and beat up somebody with a stick or spray somebody in the face.
They're sadistic.
They're literally the definition of sadists in so many situations that we see them doing this stuff.
And they can say, oh, not all cops are like that.
All the cops I fucking see on TV are like that.
Like the camera doesn't lie.
I'm watching it.
And the whole thin blue line nonsense where you you know all
these they're all in it together you don't rat on another cop you you all hold you all hold together
you see it in practice and that's fucking true because you see as soon as one cop starts beating
the shit out of a guy who's just sitting on a bicycle like with his legs on the ground but
sitting on the seat completely not non-aggressive. And one
guy starts clubbing him and three more immediately jump in. Oh, we got a guy we can club? Let's all
club him because it's harder to get four guys in trouble than it is one. What are they going to do?
Fire us all? Yeah, they should fire them all. As far as no-knock warrants go,
if you're too much of a pussy to knock on the door, you shouldn't be doing the fucking job.
If you can't knock on the fucking door, if there's a house in your community so goddamn dangerous that you're afraid to knock on the door, you've been failing at your job systemically.
What if the reason they're not knocking is that I can get rid of the evidence?
Then we lose that case.
Is that okay?
Yeah, that's okay.
As long as mothers and children aren't murdered in their homes in front of one another. It's a strong point. Yeah, that's okay as long as like mothers and children aren't murdered in
their homes in front of one another it's a strong point yeah that's the thing you know
what's the greater good you know for for bad guys to get off
i think yeah i would rather more bad guys get off than innocent people that's where i'm coming to
i hear it it's kind of like yeah it's in a place where it's so even though that's almost like top you know i mean what's the bad guy another innocent name a hypothetical where we
care if they get rid of the evidence because like i'm imagining evidence to be drugs that can be
flushed yeah i don't care about drug enforcement anyway it's about it's nonsense like i don't care
i don't care if they're selling fucking heroin to children in there how much i mean you don't
you don't want that no No, I don't care.
I don't care.
If your kid likes smack, he should have some smack.
All right?
That's a bridge too far.
You have us in heroin.
You have us in heroin.
Just not heroin with kids.
I feel like Taylor's ageist in his smack distribution.
You got us in heroin, man.
We were correctly, I think, a little hair while, and Woody reprimanded by John McAfee
that we've never even done heroin.
All those pussies.
Do you know that, Harley? Do you know who John McAfee
is?
The man challenged you.
Before the show even
started, he and Kyle were talking about having
a duel led by John McAfee,
let me be clear, and then he called all of us pussies and basically prudes for not having
dabbled in heroin.
Taylor's like,
I'm often referred to as a square.
I don't know.
It was the greatest reply.
Yeah.
So I'm trying to balance the realities of you can't completely neuter
police because they do deal with a bad
group of guys right but am i good like if what came out of this was hey two things one body cams
body cams all the fucking time turn off your body cam lose your job just fuck you out the rest of
us all deal in a surveillance world every cashier
is like look i need a little privacy while i do cashier fuck it they don't do that body cams
police all the time all the time we want to see what you're doing to get that thin blue line
culture bullshit to go away the idea that my partner can commit crimes of brutality i hear you and and that just being like an entrenched
part of police culture and okay those two things operating in this like secrecy and uh them not
stitching on each other yeah it's the shitty people in any industry acts like do you think
finance guys on wall street who are doing insider training are going to rat each other out no they
got their own little inculcated group of people who lie
and they make billions of dollars together.
That's what they do. Yeah, but there's a difference
between a private industry
and a public service.
Especially when the public service involves
the public funding them to be a private army
essentially. I'm not saying it's a good thing. I'm saying
that that is something that exists within
any insular industry.
What you need is middle management.
You need middle management coming in and cleaning house. that is something that exists within any insular industry, whether it's police, whether it's finance, whether it's whatever.
You need middle management coming in and cleaning house.
I don't remember the specifics,
but I remember listening to this podcast, or maybe it was NPR.
I think it was NPR about this issue with the fire departments in – where's that place that Quebel Cop's from?
Netherlands.
Yeah. And there was this,
there was like this,
there was extreme racism in the fire departments
and sexism.
And they brought this guy in.
In the Netherlands?
They're all white.
Not all of them.
And there was extreme racism and extreme sexism
within the fire department.
And there was a thin red line, let's call it, where they were, they treated the fire department like their own private hangout.
And they did terrible things and they committed crimes.
And this guy came in and was like, no, you're not going to do that anymore.
What kind of shit do firefighters do?
I've never heard anybody.
I'm picturing sexual assault in the firehouse am i a target um like extreme sexual harassment
not firing women are not hiring women who are they assaulting it was extreme no there were women it
was there was extreme sexual harassment there was um the way that they would mess with the hours so
that they were all getting enormous amounts of overtime while they were basically just chilling
and like making chili and stuff and hanging out in the clubhouse in the end though it
took this guy coming in and spending well over a year in just one district just firing people
just firing them this is just boys being boys having fun making chili with the lads this is
what they're doing it was extreme racism um and but but no that's what needs
to be done with these cops like like everybody acts like you can't fire a fucking cop fire them
all fire fire fire an entire police department wipe them all out from from from the lowest ranking
new noob to to the fucking chief of police fuck up the noob he just started that's not nice
he's been contaminated like oh he's you know what the training
the the training they get is like 22 fucking weeks dude it's like 22 fucking weeks to become a cop
that's nonsense i've heard about what they did in camden from two liberal sources so i'm cautious
about i mentioned that because one was john oliver and one was CNN. So I want to hear the Fox News take on it to feel like I get a rounded view.
So I put that out there.
Anyway, what they did is they fired every cop.
And then they made them reapply for their own jobs and sort of fix the culture.
And not every cop got the job.
They took some of the money and put it towards social programs.
And what you could argue is like towards prevention instead of like cure afterwards.
And apparently it's been great.
I'm sorry,
Taylor.
I was like,
is crime up?
Is crime down?
Like,
did they,
crime is down,
but, uh,
what's dramatically down is like police,
police brutality claims and stuff like that.
So that,
that's been like their major area.
Cops make crime go up.
They,
they,
they have to justify their presence there.
So they make all sorts.
Yeah.
It's just like with speeding tickets, right?
They've got a quota.
Oh, well, if we don't write 500 tickets this month, then they'll fire one of us.
They won't need 20 officers if we're not writing 500 tickets.
But isn't that also indicative of the purpose?
So, like, for example, if there's a very dangerous neighborhood in Camden, for example,
and no police are there,
just like in the wire where they find that nice little neighborhood and they
let all the crime happen there.
Crime hasn't actually gone down.
It's just been displaced.
Anywhere you put more police,
any,
yeah,
hamster dam,
exactly.
Anywhere you put more police is probably going to detect most of the crime
that's there because of just the
saturation level, right?
Sure, but also
just small
nonsensical drug enforcement
is just drumming. It is so much of their
attention. We're all against that fucking bullshit.
It's so much of their attention.
I was
talking to my dad about this the other day.
I don't really have any use for the police.
I don't have any use for them.
I can't imagine the scenario that would happen in which they would come and save me.
Yeah, well, when someone steals your car, who's going to not find it?
They are not going to find it.
Kyle, who's going to shoot your dog?
Well, not me.
Who's going to kill little Fozzie and Teddy?
Dude, I saw some fucking...
First of all, I saw one video today on Twitter that boiled my blood.
It was in China somewhere,
and they have a pit with a bunch of pigs they want to get rid of,
and they tip a bunch of flammable liquid onto all the pigs in this pit.
It's like a dozen, two dozen pigs.
Then they light them on fire, and you get to
see these pigs running around burning to death.
That was
horrific. Who sent you that?
Yeah, I want to see it. I saw it.
I saw it. I just saw it on Twitter.
How did you see it? I follow a bunch of fucking weird accounts.
I follow so many weird accounts, because that's where you see the good shit.
You might want to unfollow the pig burner no they got pig where i'm also going to find pig burning
nowhere as crazy as i like to have some content that really makes me go oh
fuck and that seems like a good piece of that um it's like those times where i find myself
like on live leak or other crazy
so i'm like oh no what are we doing here i gotta you ever go to e-fucked of course
harley are you in canada or u.s right now i'm in toronto canada right now is the u.s brutality
police riots have major story in canada yeah yeah i mean for like for me like i remember life events
a life event was like 9-11 where it's like whoa monumentals like y2k was another monumental event
corona that's a monumental event but now george floyd is a monumental event. But now George Floyd is a monumental event.
So close and on the heels of another monumental event in my life,
in everyone's lives, like in society today,
that it's just like the perfect storm.
And now we're in such close contact, and it's crazy.
And yeah, here in Canada, everyone's uh keeping keeping up to
date you know protest stuff is on a a downturn right now can you say the beginning again taylor
i didn't it seems like any any riots any protests it seems like that's almost on the downturn now
and that corona is coming back up as the big story. Like, and there are,
I just saw today from Missouri.
I'm not sure elsewhere that Corona virus rates are ticking up again.
And that's to be expected with when you have like,
can you imagine a worse time to have mass protests with people standing
shoulder to shoulder than during a mass pandemic,
a global pandemic?
Like if we, I hope we don't see a bunch more cases, standing shoulder to shoulder than during a mass pandemic, a global pandemic. Yeah.
If we,
I hope we don't see a bunch more cases,
but if we do,
if we don't see a bunch more cases,
what are we supposed to think about all this?
Were we,
were we,
were we hoodwinked?
Were we fooled a little bit about the severity of it?
Or if we do see a huge uptick in it,
like it kind of confirms what I think the three of us are on.
This shit's real.
And it's a problem.
I think it could be both at the same time.
I don't think we were necessarily hoodwinked if there aren't an uptick.
It could just be that some people have developed antibodies as well as so many people are wearing masks now and gloves.
Everywhere I go, people are wearing masks and and gloves like like everywhere i go people are wearing masks and gloves um just about everywhere like how mass most of those masks like those blue bullshit masks
that's really not doing shit for most people like you need um kind of mask with the air
filtration system to really it may not be as effective but but from what i understand
how their nose is out how many people have i seen have their noses out. How many people have I seen with their noses out?
Come on,
that's like one in 20,
right?
No,
I go to the hospital every month and they give me a blue mask when I get there.
And as far as the effectiveness of it,
I know that for sure that like a lot of viruses that are spread airborne
style,
it's about like the particulates of like liquid that are coming
out of your mouth when you exhale.
And it's, it's gotta be catching like an enormous amount of that.
So, so while they may not be 100% effective or as good as the N 65 or M 65, whatever it's
called, definitely better than the mouth breathers that we'd be around without them.
Like, like I, I, i feel perfectly fine standing in line
in the hospital at the pharmacy every month yeah i think it's my understanding that it's about
everything kyle said it's about me not projecting this like humid air in the back so it kind of
catches that and then whatever does come out the sides and stuff is is not being broadcast to
everyone else rebreathing my air my you get a real good idea of your bad breath odor
to go back to the smart mouth ad
when you're wearing a mask.
I'll tell you what,
I did not use my smart mouth the other morning.
Went all the way to the hospital to pick up some meds,
got that mask on,
and I breathed out through my mouth
and in through my nose,
and I was like,
ooh, oh, God.
Oh, I'm smelling. It was like, Ooh, Oh God. Oh,
I'm smelling.
It was like,
it was like if you ever fart in the car and it's just God awful.
And you're just like,
go to roll the window down.
You're like,
you know what?
That is bad.
Isn't it?
Kind of like a rotten egg.
But there's a little,
there's something spicy.
There's some, it's like. It's like a deviled egg.
Cayenne.
What did I eat with paprika in it?
That's a very common food.
I do not fuck with deviled eggs.
I don't like them.
I love them.
It's the best part of Thanksgiving. I overeat deviled. If deviled eggs i don't like them i love them it's a weird part of thanksgiving i
overeat devil if deviled eggs are available if you put it if you put out 12 deviled eggs
i'm sorry rude woody doesn't normally come out but i might have eight of those fucks
i love them so much so they're not they're not all that. They're fairly healthy.
Like if you use olive oil mayonnaise, it's 50 calories per tablespoon.
And it's like kind of what we live in where most of these olive oil mayonnaise.
It tastes good.
Duke's olive oil mayonnaise.
It's 50 calories per tablespoon.
You show up to Thanksgiving, nobody made that with olive oil mayonnaise,
and we all know that. When I make them, I use with olive oil mayonnaise. And we all know.
When I make them, I use the olive oil mayonnaise, cocksucker.
All right.
And they're delicious.
I love all actually.
If I'm somewhere and that's like, you know, like available appetizer or something like that.
I'm just doming them.
But I'm very picky on the temperature.
Yes.
I like them chilled.
Yeah. If it's too warm, I off it i'm flexible yeah if you put out 12 cookies and there's 12 people at the party i take one
right there's got to be some for all of us you put out 12 deviled eggs at that same party
you know this is survival of the fittest right like you're the fuck who eats too slow you want
to boil the whole dozen oh you know if you guys didn't eat so slow you get
more it's really on you not me you got some relish i'll make some more uh no it's easy come on i'm
that guy with chicken wings just sit there and just eat like an animal now do you go after the
wings or do you go up to the drumsticks first do you pick your i'm a wingman i like the wings first you eat that top part off
split it then you got two bones yeah i don't have a different i don't do the smush together thing
because technically with my fake ass teeth i'm not supposed to eat food off the bone but i don't care
i'm gonna i don't smush i do side on the plate. I just break the tip off, right? Like not crack it, but you push it a quarter inch or so.
Now it's vulnerable.
Take that thing out.
You deep throat it, and I get two naked bones on the other side.
My friend was an award-winning Wings competitive eater.
I'm trying to make it back to the dorms after a few too many.
That chicken wing is fuller.
I had a friend from Buffalo on my hockey team,
and he taught me how he won the Buffalo wing eating competitions in Buffalo,
which I interpret to be the highest level of Buffalo wing eating competition.
Right?
That's the freaking major leagues.
And he's like, yeah, what do you watch this?
And he's just like, quick, comes out, and it would pass inspection.
See, that's the way I eat crab legs.
I haven't advanced that level with wings yet.
I like eating my wings a little slower, which is still tremendously fast for a fat person like me.
Oh, God.
I'm so hungry now.
I'm so hungry, too.
And I still admire your crab and lobster eating prowess. I'm so hungry now. I'm so hungry, too. And I still admire your crab and lobster eating prowess.
Oh, dude, you sit down with me.
The four of us sit down.
We all order a pound, pound and a half of snow crab, a nice starter for a meal.
And I will be done with three pounds before any of you are done with one and a half.
And I would bet my house on that.
Here's why you're wrong.
Here's why you're wrong.
Because you'll shortly be saying this.
Woody, you really want me to crack it?
Are you a child?
Okay.
You'll be opening my crabs, Taylor.
I open them all with my fingers except for the claw.
Oh, well, that's the fastest way to do it.
I do that as well. The only reason that you
use that little fork is if you get a little bit
of meat stuck in there high that gets torn away and then
you wiggle it real
quick. I get right at the end
and I break it obviously the easy
way. You wouldn't break it long
ways. And then
break it down once and then instead
of going all the way back the other
way i just pull and you get the whole thing of meat you know and you just keep going but you
don't just crack in the middle you find where the the weightiest part is yeah and then you
make an area slightly adjacent to that and then you crack that area say that part again that was
valuable so like you know that uh the crab leg part, the biggest meatiest part where all the good meat comes out of.
You feel around where the weight is.
If it's middle of the road, pretty uniform distribution, you can go in the middle pretty fine, then crack up, spread.
Then you get it.
If it's heavy to the right towards the body where the core of the crab is, which is common, you break a little to the side of where the heaviest part is.
And then that makes sure that you don't split the meat itself and you still have enough room to grab the meat, pull it out of there.
And always make sure you break the joints before you go on to breaking the leg itself.
If you leave those joint tendrils in there, those tendons, they'll make it so you can't pull it out enough, and it'll cling to a lot of the meat.
So always break those joints, pull that shit out first.
If there was a way to write a PhD on this, I would have.
There's a place that does low country boil really close to me,
and so they'll do like a pound of crab legs.
That's right.
I have a place right across the street from here.
They'll do boiled potatoes
and corn on the cob.
They'll cover it all with that Cajun shit.
That really hot Cajun spice.
Yeah.
As soon as you open the styrofoam box,
it's Koreans.
They're not Cajun.
I don't know where they're coming up with this stuff.
As long as the spice is right, who gives a fuck?
Exactly. She's like, you want hot or extra hot?
I'm like, extra hot.
And she's like, don't you mock me.
And then she like...
Oh, I'm so sorry.
It's so good.
Definitely the best crab spice to put in there.
Boiled way better
than baked. I've had people say oh yeah your crab
legs you don't even boil them you tell me that on social media you're blocked
agent seasoning ban anyone who bakes their crab legs i uh i last time i cooked some i uh i ordered
them frozen from alaska and they were enormous.
I got the king crab legs.
It was expensive.
Ooh, that's a miss.
King crab, not as good as – I know you think so.
It's not as sweet, but they're enormous, and I really wanted big fucking –
it came out like gigantic spiders.
They look like facehugger aliens.
And I steamed those things, and then I put that cajun uh old bay shit on there it was
so fucking good god damn i'm so hungry i'm hungry too i haven't eaten i've had one meal today it's
11 p.m i've had one you know scallops man some nice buttery fucking scallops i like to do scallops
if i do scallops i cook them with a steak i do like surf and turf um scallops. If I do scallops, I cook them with a steak. I do like surf and turf. Um,
I,
scallops are scary to cook because you,
you know,
if you watch enough Gordon Ramsey,
you know,
you,
it's either way too under or way too over.
Or,
and then there's like a perfect zone that where there's like a 15 second
buffer.
Like if you pull them off 10 seconds earlier,
10 seconds too late,
they're kind of ruined.
I've never made scallops.
I didn't know that. I just know that when I go to
nice restaurants and I get a surf and turf or I
get just scallops as an appetizer. They take 60
seconds to cook. Wrapped in bacon.
Those are good.
There's a
really good international
market not so far
from me and they have enormous
scallops like restaurant quality
huge fucking scallops
and 30 seconds each side
in butter
and they're so fucking good
they're so fucking good
eat them like golden brown on each side
throw those things on a skewer
put them next to a filet mignon
little baked potato action
how do you guys like your oysters?
do you like them Rockefeller?
only raw I like them raw? Do you like them Rockefeller? Only raw.
I like them raw the most as well,
but a little bit of lemon.
I don't really like oysters.
There's something I eat just to prove
I'm not scared of them every once in a while.
I, see, I'm kind of somewhere there.
Like, I'll have these times where I'm all about it
and it's really good.
And other times I'll i'll like just gag thinking
about eating them plus the one time that i really got intensely food poisoned like within the last
eight years was i just had an oyster and like i went to the doctor because i was crazy fucking
sick and he was like honestly he's like just one in ten thousand chance you just get a bad oyster
nothing to it.
It's just a bad one.
I'll take that risk.
They're so I'll take that risk too.
Yeah.
I've been taking that risk ever since.
I'm like,
I already got my,
I already got my bad oysters.
I put a,
I put them on a little bit of bread and the oyster and not,
not rye bread.
Some,
some kind of like toast or something.
You can put a couple of little saltines or like a little a Jew toast,
whatever that's called.
Yeah. Jew toast is rye, but or that little Jew toast, whatever that's called.
Jew toast.
Jew toast is rye, but then you put a little lemon,
little Tabasco, and that thing is good to
fuck with. Yeah, I do lemon horseradish
Tabasco. Horseradish.
Horseradish or if they've got like spicy
cocktail sauce, and I'll
literally do a dozen of them before
like a good meal.
I've been with people before, and they'll be like,
you want to get some oysters?
I'm like, yeah, I want a dozen.
They're like, all right, a dozen.
I'm like, no, no, no, no.
I want a dozen.
I want a dozen of them, and I want to share my dozen.
We should order more if you want one or two,
but I want 12 of them.
There's nothing to them.
They're probably like eight calories each. Yeah, well, it's definitely more than that, but there's also want 12 of them. There's nothing to them. They're probably like 8 calories each.
Yeah, well it's definitely more than that
but there's also very little to them.
They're good as shit.
What do you say, Woody? Over and under 10 calories on an oyster?
If you don't say
over, you're an idiot.
I'm going to say over. I have a new
topic when you guys are ready.
No, let's keep talking about oysters.
Oysters! Oysters! Oysters!. No, let's keep talking about oysters. Oysters.
Oysters.
Oysters.
Well, goddamn, there's 70 calories a pop.
Wow.
Who could have known? Nothing gets out of hand.
840 calories.
That's just before we get started.
Macros on that, though.
What are the macros?
70 calories.
What is it?
Oh, it's fucking all.
Two grams of fat, 90 milligrams of sodium.
It's all fat and carbs.
And 8 grams of protein each.
It's weird that I don't like them more.
8 grams of protein.
I know they got a lot of zinc in them as well.
See zinc?
That's good for cum.
And overall health I suppose.
But anyway. What do you go for it so of course you guys all remember the me too and uh movement a couple years ago and anyone who did anything like remotely
inappropriate with like gender relations or sex or whatever uh was got a lot of attention for it
we're in a similar environment now for race relations.
Clemson coach Davo Sweeney defended his response to an assistant coach's use of a racial slur.
Now, here's what happened.
It's in a practice.
And I don't know my football very well, but whatever.
A tight end was blocking someone and the coach was yelling at him.
Now, I guess yelling at a player and a a coach this happens in college football all the time and uh the player yelled back and for the purposes of
this we're gonna say brother but you guys can work with me on this and the player goes all right i
blocked the wrong fucking brother and the coach goes damn right you blocked the wrong fucking brother and now they're after him for his racist end slur what do you guys think i think that dabbo
sweeney has won a national championship or two and uh that program was nothing when he came aboard so
this is the assistant coach saying that but i'm still listening yeah i'm sure he's been part of
the team and dabbo supporting him so and i'm not even a clemson fan but I'm still listening. Yeah, I'm sure he's been part of the team and Dabo's supporting him.
And I'm not even a Clemson fan, but I'm from the area,
so I had to listen to that fucking sports radio bullshit nonstop
how good they were and how good Dabo was as a coach.
Look, that's nonsense to call that guy on that.
That's not racism.
That's some racially charged language in the heat of a moment on a sports field.
They say all kinds of awful things.
Little league was rougher than that.
Kyle's saying it's okay.
As long as you're quoting someone.
Well,
what kind of race is going to pick a career?
It depends on the audience.
Yeah,
I guess it does.
You're right.
Taylor,
if you say it to the one you're quoting,
I,
uh,
okay.
I got a lot on this one. how um right off the bat i'm a
i'm a huge adopter if you just can't use the word we just don't get it and in this case what if he
has he has a relationship with this player and this player has a relationship with him and reading the player's quote uh quote
this is one of those things where like uh it didn't sound like it was abusive but i don't
get to make the call because it's i'm just i'm a white guy but hearing the teammate talk about it
you're jewish you got some points yeah yeah a couple um not really i'm worried like you know
um we i mean at the end of the day like the the player is cool that he said he said yeah he said
it back to me he wasn't using it in a tone or anything like that so i feel like it's like uh
that's an apologize and let's move on no one gets no one needs to get canceled yeah the player is defending the coach by
the way yeah yeah it's like some third party that's upset you know like imagine your teammates
or whatever it is like that in a moment you might get caught up and say some shit that like if
someone heard it is causing a problem where otherwise what what you mean the media are
turning their focus on something that's actually pretty
rare and and making it into a thing that's surprising they don't do that fucking every day
all the time creating divisiveness in our society christ yeah yeah i i think the ideal way to handle
it um can you say that again taylor they can't hear you when I talk over you. Sorry about that. Yeah.
My initial point was, why would a racist choose a career that puts them around?
Lots of other races.
Why would they do that?
That doesn't make sense.
It doesn't pan out.
It seems to me more like a football coach that was frustrated by something that was happening in practice.
More like a football coach that was frustrated by something that was happening in practice.
Isn't that the Occam's razor, the most obvious thing that happened, right?
Yeah, I'm with you.
I have learned just use it 0% of the time, right?
0% of the time. You might think you're safe because you clearly don't have a history of being racist and you're quoting someone else.
But it turns out that's a bad call.
So ideally, this coach says,
damn right, you blocked the wrong guy,
and just paraphrased a touch.
But he didn't,
and I think that it's okay
to consider the context and the intent to some extent.
Take a second and step back from this.
A comment made by a coach
to a player on his team that nobody has a problem with this is on the news this is on the news and
people media doesn't it happened it also it happened in it happened in 2016 too 17 but yeah 2017 also like on top of it all when it's nice and opportunistic
when it's a nice time for you to get your clicks for you to get your views yeah look the mainstream
media honestly fuck them they do nothing but create division between people in our own nation
they capitalize on things that aren't even common like this and cause problems where none would need exist the
person who's apparently victimized doesn't have a problem with it and the person who's clearly
isn't racist are you fucking shitting me we all we all moved we all moved on it's fucking i feel
like there's a parallel to me too right like some of the me too guys weinstein cosby etc deserved
everything they got some of them were kind of
wrapped up and like that's just a bad date you know like yeah he's on sorry right that's the
one yeah it was in my head yeah yeah i remember that um but then it sucks because it's something
like that like like if i'm about the message right now which i am and i mean like if i'm out there
putting myself in danger with the police
and stuff in the usa and then the news is releasing old stories like that it's like no
you're you're fucking up the information now because you're releasing dumb nonsense like that
and we need current shit we don't need to bring back cancel culture right now you know you cannot
watch the mainstream media for any source of useful information you really can't they clearly decide what stories are going to be big they make it big
and then that becomes a story instead of covering what's actually happening they do this fucking
shit all the time it doesn't matter if you're a cnn guy a fox guy a fucking salon can i jump in
i have a really hard time finding good information and i do make a sincere effort
you also can't just go by like the twitters and the you know youtubes or like um the brick thing
right there's brick showing up at all these riots every time they look into it it gets debunked
you know some they said the dallas police department put bricks there to like prompt
people to behave in such a way that they
could go hard then they show up on google like these things have been on uh in that spot three
months ago the satellite took a picture of those bricks and just one second i think san francisco
and dr debunked la got debunked somewhere else like everywhere they've looked into it they were
like they explained the construction site that these bricks belonged to.
Who said?
Was it like, oh, George Soros put bricks in different times?
It was a fact checking site.
I could look up which ones.
It doesn't matter, but I'm sure it was nonsense.
I saw this the other day. Hey, how about you don't worry about who put the bricks there?
How about we look at who's fucking throwing bricks?
How about that?
How about we look at that?
Here's a cop um holding
a black man down on the ground and the cop takes his baton oh fuck puts it on the ground and then
grabs the black man's hand and forces it onto the baton and says he's taken my weapon and then they
all beat the shit out of him jesus fucking christ the whole thing's on
i i watched the video now these are terrible blurry images i we probably don't want to show
a video of a hate crime but this is just a prime example of the stuff that they do on fucking camera
in the middle of a crowded street like like like the amount of of evil that that's in police forces across the country is outrageous.
They are a gang.
They are a criminal organization.
They're the largest criminal organization in the country.
We see them commit more.
I've never seen a gang member do a crime.
I've never seen it.
Now, obviously, I've lived a sheltered life.
I've never seen a video of it. I watch a lot of videos, but I've never seen a. Now, obviously, I've lived a sheltered life. I've never seen a video of it.
I watch a lot of videos, but I've never seen a gang member do anything.
I've seen so many cops murder and assault people.
What makes the police thing doubly troublesome for me is it's always in a group, right?
Like, not always, but I typically see like three policemen beat up one guy
six policemen beat up one guy uh it there's no one reasonable in this party no one that says stop
like if if it's a different thing to me if one guy five finger discounts something while they're
working at walmart then if like six guys get together and form a crime ring
and take all this stuff out of Walmart like they're all looking the other way or supporting
it I have seen the alternative I saw a video you probably saw it too cop had his knee on the guy's
neck very much like the is it George Floyd incident recently and a guy with a cell phone
camera goes you've got your knee on his neck
take your knee on his neck and the other cop grabs the fabric of the guy's pants and just
repositions it six inches and same effect the guy wasn't resisting too bad you didn't have to be on
his neck and i was like oh that's good that's good i'm glad that he did that. I saw a whole laundry list of police officers who had been fired or had their careers ruined for stepping into situations like that.
I've heard about some recently.
It was one of those images with rows of photographs of police officers, like eight police officers and then each one had a bio
she said this this and that immediately fired it's like i wonder you can murder a black man
in the street or a white man for that matter you can murder a man in the street and and and get
away with it or get some time off or some desk duty or administrative leave whatever the fuck
that that shit is such bullshit. That just means vacation.
Yeah, I know it does.
But the lady who told somebody, hey, don't choke him, they fire her.
Yeah.
Yeah, it's probably all true.
I always fact check stuff like that.
Like if I get my news from an infographic or something.
Yeah, you have to for sure.
No, you have to look at every infographic or something. Yeah, you have to for sure. No, you have to look
at every infographic as
total fact and trust
that the guy who made it did his research.
I get my news from memes. He's not going to make a graphic
out of lies. Gallop wouldn't
lie. What's that old meme
where it's like, would someone do that?
Just go on the internet and tell lies?
Yeah, I don't know, just uh way too much authority has been
given to law enforcement for far too long i i hope that they do defund police police departments
i hope they do take their toys away from them because 99 of the time they don't
fucking need them this isn't nicaragua this isn't a war zone they always paint defunding the police
as this lawless anarchy we're not
having police anymore thing and it's like no no no no what if instead of an armored vehicle
we had a midnight basketball league like maybe we could put that money towards something more
useful a boxing league or so expensive like i know a thing or two about how much guns and
optics and tear gas and grenade launchers and armored vehicles cost.
It's some of the most expensive shit that exists.
It's precision equipment that's often made for military purposes.
And, of course, there's so much fluff built into the cost of those things because it's meant to be sold to the U.S. government.
Industrial complex.
Absolutely they are.
Yeah.
It's ridiculous the amount of money that's spent.
And I was, you know, I was aware of those programs, and we would talk to police departments about, like, hey,
we're going to be in the air, and we're going to be blowing stuff up,
and we're going to be doing this and that.
By the way, are you aware that if you file this form,
you can get the x y and z
they're like whoa really yeah you can get up to hundreds of thousands of dollars of equipment
that these local sheriff's departments can get machine guns and armored vehicles for a little
podunk sheriff's department's like hey they're hey, that's really cool. I saw you had that fully automatic M14.
It's like, you want one?
Yeah, but we can't get that.
Yeah, you can. You file this form.
Then you can get one.
Yeah, they'll pay for it.
We've told them that and then they've done it.
As a way of getting in
with those sheriff's departments.
Hey, look, you'd have this cool stuff too.
You're really the only ones who can have it you know wildly expensive equipment like like someone pointed out the
other day how those guys had eotechs on their uh on their single fire grenade launchers i don't
know how much those grenade launchers cost i would guess about 900 bucks a pop but the eotechs themselves are 600 bucks a pop the things i really want are
the change in the culture where police support brutal brutal police you know or they just look
the other way and cameras cameras cameras cameras you know but get those consequences
to have to come along with the cameras i agree with the cameras but there have to be consequences and you can't let the police you can't let the
criminals police themselves like there needs to be a a you have to have an internal affairs
division handle uh those administrative issues you can't have the police decide how to punish
themselves the internal affairs people are going to be you know
semi on the same team i would guess somewhat like somewhat not well for my years of watching nypd
blue i'll tell you that's not true i have no idea maybe that's me being cynical i probably
probably need a civilian oversight committee it's what you actually need
and how do you even set something like that up like this yeah and how do you stop them from being civilian oversight committee is what you actually need.
And how do you even set something like that up?
Yeah, and how do you stop them from being friends after a little bit, right?
Like, even if they start everything...
Are you telling me that political groups
that work together closely over time
tend to eventually merge and collude?
That doesn't sound realistic.
Take it back to Alex Jones.
FedEx has a policy where
if an employee finds
a package with illicit materials
in it, let's say marijuana,
that employee gets, I want to say,
$10,000.
It's a lot of incentive.
It's why I only ship marijuana
through the United States Postal Service.
That's good thinking.
It seemed like good thinking.
It seemed like good thinking.
It was like, alright, you got this one division, you got UPS
and FedEx, and they're
handing out fucking cash money
if anybody smells a little
reefer in a box. Meanwhile,
you got the USPS, and their
stuff is protected. You can only
open a package with a warrant
how will they ever get oh oh shit i shouldn't have picked the post office next to the courthouse
should i i was literally across the street i was surprised the packaging wasn't better i thought
they walked to the court hindsight's 2020. That is rough.
They were like, we're going to get a warrant for the package.
I was like, how long is that going to take? I don't know, five minutes?
They walked across the street.
Hindsight is 2020,
but not for me.
With my eyes.
Hindsight's 2780
for me.
hindsight's 2780 for me not a fan of police for a couple of reasons just just yeah i don't blame you police really give
you a lot of reasons to be like what the fuck are you doing the the whole system's just just awful
you know the whole system's awful and these did these are ground up uh rebuild i wish they had a
better democratic candidate out there who was
young and a little bit more progressive
than fucking Sleepy Joe.
I hope
he does something about marijuana policy
and policing. We'll see.
I think he's got a very
good chance now against Trump because Trump has
handled Corona poorly and now
he's handled this so poorly.
This rioting thing.
He's up by 14. Here's my take on it. He's up by 14 points right now at 13.8, something like that.
Nationally. Yes. Uh, Hillary was up by, I think three when she lost. So I'm just going to extend
that and say that if Trump was within three or four, he might win if he's down by 14, he would
lose. I think if the election was held today
i think it's five months away so yeah we'll see how that handles i think those are
look i don't have any special insight but i think the economy might be looking good from here till
november and that could work in trump's favor but probably still a lot to overcome
biden just needs to keep his mouth shut
because Trump is saying so many stupid things.
Isn't it interesting?
I've never seen a campaign before
where just fucking shutting the fuck up
has been so effective, right?
Let the other candidate bury himself.
Biden doesn't need to say or do anything.
And if he does, it might hurt his case.
Every time they say like
can woody beat a generic republican then i lose right it's some guy you have a problem with versus
a flawless person who isn't him but they say can woody beat this particular person and it's a much
tighter race biden is positioning himself as the unheard from candidate now there will be debates
there will be like that that can't last all the way until the end.
But it's a funny strategy
where they seem to just say,
Biden, every time you say anything wrong,
you get a reporter's name wrong or something.
And it's this national story.
You don't know where you are.
You're lost and confused, et cetera.
Just stay off camera
and let Trump do his thing. And that's a winning strategy so far we'll
see how it plays out yeah i i do i all right i know kyle we gotta uh gotta be checking out soon
kyle's gonna be up in the morning very early oh i was was just asking how far in we were. We're four hours and one minute.
Okay.
Yeah, I'm not...
I dislike Biden so, so much.
But anybody who might expunge some marijuana records
is A-okay in my book.
You know what?
I'm voting for whoever's going to help my man Kyle out.
Actually, that's a lie.
I'm not voting.
Biden's record on police is kind of not the record you'd think you'd want right he was like the law and order guy he was i think he authored a really
tough crime bill one that doesn't look good in hindsight like that might have led to some of
this brutality on the other hand uh when Trump tries to paint
him as this like liberal cuck
defund the police dude he's kind of
resistant to that it's not very true
we'll see how it plays out
well
we'll see it'll be an entertaining season
hopefully
yeah anyway
I enjoyed the politics talk
I did too
I just you know so much going on in the world with the cops right now
or in the U.S.
Like if anybody hasn't seen that video that we were referencing earlier
where you have the police higher up with all the cops behind them juxtaposed.
Such a gang, like you said before.
It's like the most gang shit ever yeah yeah it looked like something from like a mafia movie with like al capone with all of his minions like like like you they they think they could
push us around we're on this city like like it just and you'll see like it's like well actually
black cops shoot black people even more than white cops.
And it's like,
no,
you're not getting,
they're better shots.
It's like a clan,
a group of people,
the cops and they're in it.
We're not in it.
Like,
that's what it seems to come down to more than black cops and white cops.
There's blue cops.
Yeah.
They're on the end. We're on the in we're on
the outs that's what it seems to be but what the fuck do i know i've had a lot of cop buddies and
i like those guys personally but like just seeing their attitude and the way some of the gear they
carry like like there's one guy would like i don't want to exaggerate but let's call it 500 600
rounds of ammunition in the trunk of his car with his machine gun.
He had one of those like raptor claw knives stuck into his belt ready to disembowel a motherfucker.
It's like –
Jesus Christ.
You know what?
I said this a bit ago, not on this show, but I think a good idea is take away all weapons from the cops, all weapons from any rioters, protesters.
Just give everybody a pool noodle, and it'll be a fun time.
People will have a good time.
And before you know it, people will be laughing.
They'll be laughing, having such a fun time having little fights.
I want to watch those videos.
Yeah, that's that's that's the America I want to live in.
That's in the schizophrenia future of this country.
When I can run for office, that's what I'm going to promise.
Pool noodles
for every man.
I feel like if I handed out pool noodles
at a riot to both sides, the cops
would still use their batons.
I know they would.
Yeah, they totally would.
They would be like, he's littering!
And they'd shoot you in the face.
Both sides hate you. don't go to protests and hand out pool noodles yeah i you know what i think i
really don't like rubber bullets i think rubber bullets are terrible yeah that is fucking bullshit
dude they're you're supposed to shoot it to bounce off things and apparently they haven't been doing
that they've just been like rupturing testicles and shit they're supposed to shoot it to bounce off things, and apparently they haven't been doing that. They've just been, like, rupturing testicles and shit.
They're supposed to ricochet them off the ground
about three meters in front of the people.
That way it hits them at a lower velocity in the lower extremities.
They're just shooting motherfuckers with them.
Kyle, you need to tell me that these police were given military-grade weapons
and riot suppression gear,
and they're not using them in a
responsible way even though they make
40 something thousand dollars a year
and are highly educated
people. Dude, this is
wow!
I'm fucking blown
away by this. All of those motherfuckers
need to be working behind the counter of an auto zone.
They don't need to be
cool.
It's such a huge
responsibility.
I want my cops more educated than my teachers.
You know what I mean?
You need a four degree.
I think it should be a four year degree.
I think you should have a criminology fucking degree
before they put you in a fucking Batmobile
and put a utility belt on your ass
and give you an AR-15, a 12-gauge,
and a 9mm pistol and say,
go out and enforce the law.
And you don't even know the law.
How many times have we seen a lawyer
get pulled over and make a cop look like a dummy?
All the time.
Those are great clips.
Except for the,
I'm a sovereign citizen according to maritime law.
time. Those are great clips. Except for the I'm a sovereign citizen according to
maritime law.
This is an
ocean-faring vessel here.
Alright?
You and the rest
of those scallywags
need to beat
feet and head on back to the beach.
We have to reason with the bullies.
How about we take away rubber bullets and
tear gas, but we
allow them that if anyone in
any situation says the words
maritime law,
we can beat them to death.
Deal.
Deal. And we've solved
it. We've solved it, gentlemen.
At last. The first person who
identifies himself as an admiral
gets clubbed to death.
I'm admiral Stevenson.
According to maritime law, just fucking mace, gun, dead.
He gets a real Rodney King.
Yeah, he gets a real Rodney King.
And even worse than that, dead.
That's the word you mispronounce, Rodney.
I think Kyle and I both copied. Look, mispronouncing. That's the word. You mispronounced Rodney. I think Kyle and I both caught the...
Look, mispronouncing.
That's my thing, Taylor.
No, I know who Rodney King is.
Oh, okay.
No, I said Rodney King-in.
Like the act.
Like it was a verb.
He used it as a verb.
I tried to make a joke.
Didn't work.
Looked like a retard.
Here we are.
Welcome to PKA.
Can't win them all. Can't win them all.
Can't win them all.
So check out Harley streaming on Facebook.
How do we find that?
FB.gg slash Harley Mornstein.
There it is.
Yeah, that's it.
All right.
Yeah, Harley plays on Instagram and Twitter.
What is your other, the toy
Instagram pedo? Young Toy Boy.
Young Toy Boy. Right, I was close.
Of course it's Young Toy Boy.
Yeah, not to be confused with Young
Boy Toy. It's a completely different
other account that I run myself as well.
It's a different hobby that I don't
want to talk about. I bet a lot of people put that name
in, Young Toy Boy, and they're looking for something completely different yeah they're
looking for young boy toy but yeah uh young toy boy uh or maybe a sex doll that's a young boy
that would be a toy boy you know a young boy okay yeah maybe don't ruin this for me right now trying i'm trying hard
because it seems like your account is for pedophiles it sounds that way i know yeah i
know that okay i mean it it would probably work that way you've got a lot of cool toys
kids like star wars dude these aren't these are collectibles i've got some sleepy grape juice for you how would you like a little a little fact whatever
you see whenever you see smoke effects in those pictures i actually i don't vape but i bought a
vape just to blow smoke in the pictures for atmosphere so if you do see smoke in that i
want you to imagine me sitting next to the toys blowing a vape at them and then running around
to the camera and taking the picture real you are so autistic i love it i love it i like it too i
like it too i think i don't think anybody who gets into the shit that we all do is normal
oh yeah this whole thing's on the motherfucking spectrum, bro.
You don't read the Silmarillion unless you're on the spectrum.
It's true.
That's true.
That's true.
I took tests.
I tested 25% positive for autism, which I told them on the stream, that means I didn't
test positive at all.
But now, anytime I do autistic, I just get 25%.
25%.
I feel like we're all 25%.
Those are rookie numbers, people.
Those are rookie numbers.
That's so funny.
How did you take a test?
I almost want to.
I literally had a stream and I was like,
all right, people have been saying I'm autistic.
I've taken three different tests online and and I was like, all right, people have been saying I'm on three different tests online.
And it had stuff like, do you get very upset when there's a disruption in your routine?
And I was like, yeah, that genuinely does upset me a lot.
I don't care for that.
But then there were other things where it's quite difficult to talk to people in public.
No, not at all.
Very easy.
And so I only came up 25, 30.
I think the worst test of the three i did was like
30 maybe we could get like a legit psychologist to come on and diagnose you that would be so funny
that's a good one it's like frankly your head's enormous
is that related i just can't get past it.
That's how I do well, though.
Just a touch of the camera.
Could you hold something up for scale?
Is this camera trickery?
I hold a banana and it's this long.
This is like when Gandalf walked into the Shire, right?
Like, this isn't legit.
That's a good-ass idea for a bit.
Can you hold something up
for scale i'll buy plantains no this is a nine inch banana i didn't mention i'm eight and a half
feet tall anyway all the rap yeah it's bedtime pka 495