Painkiller Already - Painkiller Already #507
Episode Date: September 8, 2020This week Harley Morenstein is on as a guest, and topics include but are not limited to Taylor's next PC, Scary Movies and general gaming discussion. ...
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pka 507 with our guest harley taylor this episode of pka is brought to you by three
wonderful sponsors that's smart mouth squarespace and postmates like what he said we got harley
what's going on man what's up man hey man how you doing what's up great you know i'm just let's
have a the way you just said that let's have a real upbeat like positive episode the whole time
yeah you're looking great you know what kyle have you been on your team three times a day they're pearly white wow that's excellent woody i saw those pull-ups you were doing the
other night stunning strength for a guy approaching 50 in all honesty that's not sarcasm at all i was
really you were banging those motherfuckers out it needs to be said they were donating a dollar
for push-up and they were flat out bullying me he donated six and two-thirds dollars which is why
the last pull-up looked like that you could have finished it but he didn't pay for it a bunch more
he paid for six and two-thirds pull-ups there and i did like i don't know 40 between 40 and 50 in an
hour so that's uh i was tuckered out now people know how to make you look not fit though they're
gonna start donating a1.30,
and then they'll clip that,
and they'll be like, look at this, bitch.
Just 50 cents at a time.
Is it normally negative when I'm here?
Because you're like, it'll be an upbeat episode.
Is it normally?
No, it's usually negative every week.
I was thinking like, man.
I thought that was on me for a second.
I was like, oh.
No, definitely not.
I would never say anything negative about you, especially on a positive episode.
I would hope you would.
You know what?
You know why I would hope you would say some negative things about me?
Because I would expect your honesty.
And I know there's definitely some negative things to be said.
So I welcome the negative things.
Yeah, I've got a whole notebook.
Yeah.
I bet you guys do.
I bet you guys do.
So what's been going on new with you i know last time we talked you were banging out a bunch of facebook streams oh yeah yeah that's when i
was like you know uh man the new normal is so weird hey like that's when uh it was just balls
deep in quarantine now setting up for winter i don't really do much i don't go out much so i do yeah
i do the streams i've actually know i've been doing i've been doing a lot of vr content now
like i actually just like it's kind of probably the first time in my life since i started epic
mealtime where i did something not because it was a viable business option or because it would bring
me money but i was just like,
this is kind of like revisiting a couple of my favorite hobbies all at once, which is playing video games,
editing and just doing dumb shit.
So I've been just playing,
like I've uploaded like three VR videos.
The views are on my YouTube channel are terrible for them.
It's like,
I'm getting notifications.
Like your subscribers do not like this i'm fucking having a good time out here it's for me what am i supposed
to tell these guys you know have you seen that summit story video harley no which one it's
relevant so i hope i have my story right but i think it goes like this he was streaming pub g
and he was a big time popular streamer everyone loved him and uh then pub g sort of started to drive him angry right and his streams got a little
bit angry and he wasn't enjoying the game anymore and that happened to perhaps a lot of the people
playing that game you know if you play the same one too long yeah it it stops being fun starts
being work and you turn a little negative because if it's not your best day ever then you fell short of expectations and anyway so that's happening to him and it kind
of grinds him down and his audience isn't loving his dreams like they once were so then he makes
a change and he starts playing things that make him happy i think sea of thieves was like the big
comeback thing and he is having a blast and like his streams are fun again and his audience is in
love again and he goes bigger and better than he ever was by making the kind of content that
he likes to make so maybe this is the next thing for harley are we talking about summer i hope i'm
talking about summer i don't even know i mix people i did see a video on that a while back
or a reference to i think i have because there was a time where i was just like reading a lot of like i was watching a lot of videos that are like random stories of gamers
or gamer channels or esports guys and i've been like that's like what my recommended list i think
i've heard that before i've seen clips of it even when he was kind of like cussing it out being like
i'm done with it now like i'm playing the same game every day imagine you have to play like
imagine you made a lot of money on
fortnite and you like and you don't like fortnite and imagine playing call of duty for like eight
years kyle did i get the story wrong i feel like you're trying to get something in um well what it
is is that like summit has gone through what you just described with every single game he's ever
played except for he plays what the fuck he wants to play right like like he doesn't care
if you like it at all and as soon as they you know the chat starts giving him shit like oh we don't
like this play something else they'll he'll be like all right let's turn the game off let's have
a little talk here we play oh wait a minute we're not playing anything are we i'm playing you're watching we're gonna get
some positivity in the chat or we're gonna start weeding some motherfuckers out and and and he'll
just break it it'll be 20 000 people watching and he'll just let them know right there like
the most recent one that i i saw was when he was playing a lot of uh elder scrolls online
which not my not my thing either to watch, especially.
I bet I'd like to play it.
I'm sure not.
But, yeah, that's a good one.
I see it in his shoes.
Like, that's a great call.
He's like, you know what?
We're going to spend like 80 hours this week.
Let's fucking just play the shit out of this game.
It was so funny because he's like – he's into it, right?
It's what he's playing.
And everybody's like, oh, play this, play that, play this, play that, whatever's new.
And he's like, look, if it makes you feel any better, I'm not having any fun playing this shit right now either.
This is pissing me off.
The fucking fireballs are coming at me.
And he's like, I'm not liking it either, if you want to know the truth.
But what he means is like, this is what I want to play.
This is what I love.
I'm just having a bad day at it. And motherfuckers aren't helping so fuck you yeah fuck you all
i'm playing there's no we we're not playing anything and that's the trick be a dick to your
chat yeah i i admire that that's how that's how he rolls because he's made so goddamn much money
at this point he could he doesn't have to work anymore if he doesn't want to.
He plays whatever he wants when he wants.
And I love this Sea of Thieves content.
I watched hours and hours and hours of it.
It got me back into playing Sea of Thieves a lot.
But then it was funny to see him turn on Sea of Thieves
when the devs started making these sort of anti-PVP dev decisions.
Because what he does is fucking PVP.
And his version of PVP is this super cool version
where he's going to stow away on your ship,
just like a classic pirate sort of tactic.
He's going to stow away.
He's going to hide on your vessel
and wait for you to go on this long voyage
of doing really difficult things to do.
There are these quests you go on where it's
like all right you have to complete five six different things and then once you've done all
those you get the opportunity to to go do this really hard thing and you get a giant every time
you complete one step you get a chest of gold and the the chests are like tier based i don't remember
the tiers but let's just think bronze silver gold platinum and and and by the time they're just to get the platinum chest you've
got to do the bronze and the silver and the gold and and so all those chests are just sitting on
the vessel like piling up all this loot and he's hiding behind like some bullshit cabinet or a desk
just laying there in plain sight but he's literally
hiding laying down while they run around him not seeing him and he's like whispering to the chat
and at the same time coordinating with like two or three of his buddies who are on their war vessel
like over the horizon he's like yeah yeah they're going to do it right now he'll get up every now
and then run over to the map there's an in-game map that anybody can see and he'll be able to see what they're about to do he's
oh they're doing it they're doing it right now i'll let you know when the when the chest is on
board when you know the the big fancy chest is on board it i think it's called an athena and uh
when the chest finally comes on board they simultaneously spring this coordinated attack
where he comes out of his hiding spot and starts.
He's so fucking good at the game.
Like you've got like you've got like a pistol sitting there sometimes hours.
I like that because I like when I like playing sneaky because I like to do things in games that I can't do in real life.
Like fucking murder people.
And I'm not a sneaky person.
I'm six foot six.
Like I'm not sneaky. So in games like I've always loved Splinter Cell. I'm six foot six. Like, I'm not sneaky.
So in games, like, I've always loved Splinter Cell.
I'm like, this is what it's like.
This is how they feel.
Like, I can't hide in the shadows in the corner of a room.
No.
You just hear me like, dude, I've never been into role playing ever.
Right.
Kyle accurately described my Skyrim style as like, this is my character.
His name is Woody.
And the way he likes to play this game is to get it over as quick as fucking possible.
But something he role plays as Woody.
The guy like I had a big phase of my life where I did play. Like I was all about making me in games.
And I'll be honest, like as I got older, like Mass Effect 1, Mass Effect 2,
like around the time Mass Effect 3 came out, games were looking good and I was getting older.
I started making myself and I was like, like whenever I made myself, I was fucking ugly in the games.
And that's when I kind of was like, you know what?
I'm not even going to be Harley in this world anymore.
Like I don't want to be him.
Yeah, you can be anyone.
I would make someone, but I did do that.
I used to make Harley, and I mean like Tony Hawk 3
or American Wasteland or any of these games.
I'd be like, how can I make me?
Like, oh my God, they have a yellow baseball cap
or some shit that I was wearing at the time of playing the games.
Then Mass Effect 3 came out, and I was like creating me,
and like the graphics were so good,
and I was just like looking in the mirror, and I'm and i'm trying to like make me and i'm like no
fuck me fuck me i'm gonna be shaquille shepherd that was my guy's name the game i'm playing
shepherd the game i'm playing now gun skill is important but information is paramount that's
the big thing you know if i can get some shots on you before you know I'm there, or maybe you have some of your weapons, it's Escape from Tarkov.
So when I'm live streaming, I get into it.
I'm like, you know.
Man, you guys fucking love that game.
I do.
I start whispering to the chat.
I whisper the whole, chat, chat, chat.
I think he's at my 2 o'clock.
I can't move.
I can't look that way.
But he's there.
No capital letters, everyone.
Be quiet.
It's a blast. But that's a real person when when you're saying that or it could be a computer guy i played that game
like four times i played that game like four times oh oh it can be both you guys always talk
about i always get off every time i've gotten off the podcast the last like three months that i've
been on the last times i get off i'm like cap i have it escape from tarkov i played it
multiple times i should do it and then like every time i sit down i'm like i actually i get a little
shook it's like the only game where i'm like i'm gonna go there and i last time i was there i had
like a fucking spring and like a bullet and like nothing went together and i thought i had good
loot but nothing fit and i was pieces yeah then i did then i went with i went
did one with uh freddie wong and nico from quarter digital and they had their guys were i said this
last time they were like ninja turtle mode is what they called it because they had all the gear
and i'm just like there with like a t-shirt like you know like hoping someone drops something
when i didn't want to bring my stuff because then i get scared that i'm gonna all right
see they did you wrong they did you wrong if If you played with my squad or you played with Woody's squad,
and I think Woody is about to –
Well, you guys never invite me though.
You're always invited.
I added you on Discord.
But if you joined one of our squads, I think I literally said this last time.
I sent you a friend request, and I said,
I said, accept my friend request.
I'll bring you in with my squad,
and you will learn to actually play Escape from Tarkov
because there's a big difference between playing.
I need that carry.
I really need that carry.
Dude, it's not even just a carry.
You'll come into the game, and we'll be like, all right, come over here.
And you'll look at the ground, and you'll just see us start throwing shit for you on the ground.
There'll just be a giant pile of free shit for you.
We'll equip you.
You'll come in with your t-shirt.
And then how I play after that, I feel like I'm playing like I'm some kid, like holding all this shit, and I'm just hiding with you guys,
waiting to get to the end.
You play any way you want to.
So I can just go over that stuff and never touch it again.
You need two things.
You need gear, which you already know, and you need knowledge.
So when I first started, Kyle and his friends carried me.
And in hindsight, I'm more grateful for, like, the tips
and the areas where the loot is, where they taught me how to fish,
than I was for the fish themselves yeah the gear we're gonna give you give what you've
really got to do the well what do you do when you go out there when you boot it up and you start a
game what's like what's gonna be like what's gonna be slick you know you boot up a game like uh like
like any call of duty game like i'd love to get 20 kills in a row in one match without dying and and and maybe level up to this thing to get
unlock this for my gun like what's your mentality when you go in what are you like this is what
we're gonna fucking do this time which you didn't do the last like 100 times first off you gotta
find springs so many springs i keep hearing springs and i'm thinking
about rust i'm like you know those springs are pretty valuable you're gonna need a lot of springs
so maybe it was rust now if you ever want to play rust we'll get fucking sick with it i love i tried
rust and i i play got lost night of the day that game was sick i was like why didn't i ever like
this why didn't i ever try games like this? Russ was really funny.
At this point, Woody
is the Tarkov tour guy
because he has shit. I haven't been playing.
My character's a... I was going to use the
F word and not the nice one.
My character's a bitch.
My character's a bitch. He doesn't have anything.
I need a tour guy myself
at this point to throw some shit on the ground for me.
Woody could guide you in Tarkov. We could both die for weeks.
I've got money. Exactly.
But if you ever
want to play Rust, and I don't mean
dabble in Rust, because there's a big difference between
dabbling and playing.
How tense are you on Tarkov?
If you actually want to play
Rust and get what I call the rust experience and someone did
this to me for me one time they were like you're not going to play rust i need this you're gonna
you're gonna live rust you're gonna in this seven in the next seven days which is like the wipe
cycle after seven days the whole map disappears yeah he was like he's like in the next seven days
kyle you're gonna do everything there is to do in the world of rust i'm like it takes seven days to do everything if we're lucky we'll
be able to do it all in seven days and like because there's so much to do in rust like so
many uh like ai monuments and so many different weapons to acquire probably right more than 10
hours 10 hours pitch if you're not playing you have to play for 10 hours a day if you're if you're trying to be like a chad in that game like if you're trying to be the If you're not playing for – you have to play for 10 hours a day.
If you're trying to be like a Chad in that game,
like if you're trying to be – if you're trying to dominate a server
with your clan, with your group of guys, you got to play 10 hours a day,
and it might not be enough.
If you could squeeze out 14 hours a day on average,
then you can really absolutely do it.
But 10 hours might not be
enough. That's the thing about rust. Tarkov, you can jump in for an hour a day, two hours a day.
Now, if you really want to accelerate your, your, your curve, you know, you really need to play
three to six hours a day or something like that. You were asking like, what's your mindset when
you jump into a game of Tarkov? Like there are different mindsets, right? Because sometimes
you're just going into like acquire money or things that you
can make money from. And sometimes you're going into like PV,
you get cash pickups in that. Do you pick up cash or do you get,
so there's a, both there's. And what's really,
I remembered a merchant system, different merchants type system,
but I didn't remember if I ever picked up cash. Yeah, there's cash, but where you really make money is by looting rare items. So you need to
know their spawn points. Those are heavily trafficked areas. And then once you get out
of game, once you get to level 10, you unlock a flea market, which is like eBay within the game.
So you can post items that you have found inside of an in-game eBay type scenario.
And other players who need those items to either craft a weapon or they need to turn them in to one of those AI traders to like complete a mission or a task.
They'll pay top dollar for it.
And, you know, the value of those items fluctuate.
It's really cool.
It's like Diablo, like Marketplace before the money, kind of kind of i would imagine items oh like just like you just do items you've come across shit
and something's just not that important to someone you're talking about you trade with
people right real life people yeah yeah you you post it just like it's ebay or something you're
like i've got this bar of chocolate 30 000 rubles you know you you post like one bar of chocolate
30 000 rubles you click your bar of chocolate and it goes on you know you you post like one bar of chocolate 30 000 rubles you
click your bar of chocolate and it goes on there well there's going to be like there's so many
people playing that game and so many people who need that bar of chocolate they're going to buy
it within like 30 seconds 60 seconds and 30 000 rubles go go into your account
so you go out there looking for chocolate what i would do the way i like started playing is during
the day when my squad wasn't online because they played at night i would do money runs i'd go in by
myself with a pistol and maybe some cheap body armor but a big ass backpack and i would just
do do the same loop around the same map over and over looking for these uh you just you got to get
out alive because if you don't get out alive you're dead you lose that shit pretty much back then you've got this thing called a
gamma container which is like imagine that you're like oh yeah i know how that works yeah you could
carry it's like the same thing yeah they've changed it so now if you die you can't sell
things on the flea market but back then you could so you'd put the really valuable shit in your
butthole and your fucking gamma and uh the stuff I'm looking for is like one slide.
It's called a lead X.
So I just go lead X hunting.
Cause they're like,
they're worth a million rubles each.
And I'd find one every three or four games.
What is a lead?
What is that?
Uh,
in real life,
a lead X is a medical instrument.
They use to see,
uh,
veins and arteries through the skin.
Uh,
is there a function for it in the game?
And in the game,
it's a hyper rare.
It's not as rare as it used to be.
It's a rare item that's used for two different things.
One is you turn them in to complete some of the missions, some of the tasks.
You just give them away.
And the other is there are trades within the game that you do with the AI where they're like, all right, if you want a giant weapon crate, that'll allow you to store,
uh,
you know,
like,
like a TARDIS from Dr.
Who,
where it's like,
oh,
it's bigger on the inside.
The boxes in that game are like that.
You've got a limited amount of space in your stash to store your gear and all
your clothes and all that nonsense.
But these,
these crates you can buy,
these weapon containers are like Tises and they're they might take up like
a slot that's like five by six or something like hex squares but on the inside it's gigantic and
there's a trade in game where it's like all right give me like four led x's and three of these and
eight of these and nine of these and you get one of one of those and so that's and that so it just
the there's no actual
function to it it's just a trading item exactly contributes to a really valuable thing that
everyone wants but can you get more than one of those so this is a constant thing that people
always yeah yeah they always so you don't even so you don't even know if you want to sell it for a
million you might want to work to get another one of these boxes or whatever. I'm always grinding for money. Shit, my man.
Just that statement right there.
I'm like, I don't want to do anything at Darkov
except only money runs.
Pistol only.
That'll be my baby steps into the game.
No stress, low pressure.
Because I was always like,
you know how it was?
I bought the game.
I didn't buy it,
but it came with like, because I spent 10 bucks, bucks came with like a pack of things and i was like i
did something i lost something i was like oh fuck i spent money on that thing and i got scared so i
stopped like thinking about it but now i'm just gonna go in like money runs t-shirt pistol like
let's get some fucking led x's bro that see i would sell i would do that for two or three hours
during the day like lunchtime and like off-peak hours and stuff but then the boys wake up
and what i had done is i'd earned enough money during the day that i could afford to play
geared up like they were because they were better than me and they played a whole lot more than i
did they would play all fucking night long and so i mean i mean larry and larry and devon play a lot you know i mean and you know what
there's also efficient gamers like i could game i could be like yeah i game for four hours like i
blaze twice in those but then i have friends that like game for four hours but like they don't stop
for that second where they get a text or a call or they look at the screen and they're like hi and they're like the fuck was i doing again they're like these
guys that are like yo we're out here and we're gonna make the most of these 10 hours and do it
here's how you do it and like yeah maybe like i know i have friends that like game like that like
you know playing you can play games like minecraft or scrap mechanic or games or like you can make the most of the rust also you know your boy that probably took you
that was like you are going to live rust for the next seven days that guy's probably one of those
type of gamers i go and rust and i'm like bro i got the stick i got the stick and it's like yo
get over here we need everyone hammering this fucking tree i know those type of guys but yeah it's good to
have on the team and then those boys wake up and they just fuck your whole money runs
game up that guy's name was uh that guy's name was walmart walmart if you're out there listening
still walmart walmart's his name and his mom loved walmart yo that's i love walmart i hope
that's not his real fucking name.
That's such a few. Sorry.
I've gotten better at the game, Walmart.
I'll come play with your boys if you'll let me because my guys
are all bitches. I'm sorry for my 2019
performance. Don't judge
me by that.
This is my brother getting my pussy
eaten.
I'm going to buy wine on a stressful day.
I love that his name is Walmart.
Walmart was really good at the game.
And what he had done,
like he was a fan of mine in the show.
So he had left his boys who were all extreme like him.
And he'd come to play with my crew who were all noobs and so he
sort of took like a commander role and a lot of my guys did not enjoy that at all they were just
like this guy's a fucking asshole he's telling me what to do and i'm like well i think he knows what
to do we should all just do what he says right and like i just remember it'd be like five in the
morning and all of my friends had gotten offline and it was just me and walmart like securing the base before we turn out the lights at night and he's he's like those guys
are kind of bitches he'd be getting drunk at the end of the night like five in the morning he's
like those guys are kind of bitches i'm like yeah yeah a couple of them really don't like the way
you're talking to them yeah i can get over it he's like though you know what like i actually he's
right because i played
i've played some games lately and i'll go online and i'll be playing and some guy will be like yo
here's the plan we'll do this or that and then the other guys are like wow you fucking loser like
shut up or just fucking you know and and i'd have to jump in i'd be like yo excuse me like i'm i'm
35 years old i don't have all fucking day but i'm taking time out of my day to come play
this game best belief i want to fucking win every single time this boy over here wants to take
command i suggest we listen to him unless you got better ideas but if you're just going to be a
bunch of fucking idiots i'm going to send bad feedback and hope i never see you again and like
i've been i swear i've said this many times and people are like all right so what's the plan then like one guy would want to like get everybody in order for whatever game call of duty or
battlefield anything and and somebody be like look at this guy fucking try hard i'm like
what do you mean try hard we're all sitting down at fucking gaming rigs that cost as much as
fucking cars like like we're all you spent two thousand dollars to
be here it's 10 a.m on a saturday i have chosen this over sex and with women i'm trying as hard
as i can if if i sweat i got all my gamer deodorant right now because my hands are going to
get like like i'm trying super hard as hard as
i fucking can and i'm not ashamed of it like yeah i'm sitting up like i'm sitting up bro like i'm
leaning forward you better lean forward too like what do you sound like you sound like you're lying
back bro you better not be lying back they make it sound like they're playing on their fucking
phone or something like this is angry birds and we should all just be like chill about it and it's like it's like dude we just spent 40 fucking hours of our
life like devoted to like building up enough shit so we'd all have a goddamn rocket launcher and an
ak-47 we're about to go over there and fight some people who are way better than us if we're not
organized they're gonna fuck us in the asshole take our hard-earned stuff, and you know what happens next, right?
They're going to laugh at us in the chat.
They're going to run over here to our base naked, literally naked,
so that we can't earn anything off them just to laugh at us
and call us the worst slurs you've ever heard in your life.
You have not had your feelings hurt as a grown man until a
child with a speech impediment came called you a pussy piece of shit and let you know he was
better at the game and in your heart of hearts you knew it was true you knew it was true you
knew every word he was speaking was was fucking gospel and you didn't have you no i have no
retort little man i'm'm just going to have to,
I literally have to go into the settings right now because you're hurting my
feelings.
That's a game.
You want to play angry birds?
Get your phone out.
Yeah.
Rust is extreme.
Tarkov is like rust in my opinion is a 10 out of 10 on the extreme level because of the
time invested and the the the extreme swings between the highs of the highs and the lows of
the lows tarkov is about a six or a seven on that scale of extreme because man i have been pretty
bummed out if like the raid's been going well. I've killed a couple of players.
Maybe I found a few rare items.
They're on me and I'm heading to like get out of the game.
I might even be the last guy left.
And then I get killed by AI,
like AI fucking kills me.
And it's like,
well,
literally all my friends just watched me get fucked in the ass by an AI guy
because I was so literally shaky,
like trying to get to the
extract point with all this gear that I couldn't
perform under that pressure.
Your character was shaky.
I was shaky. Well, both, frankly.
The characters also...
Your characters get shaky in that game, too. I remember that.
I get adrenaline dumps.
I get adrenaline dumps in those games
and my hands literally start to tremble.
It happens mostly in Rust.
My foot bounces. My leg jitters.
I was thinking Escape from Tarkov.
Escape from Tarkov, my hand.
Well, in the game, the character's hand
is called a tremor.
In real life, I've held up my hand
before and it would literally be doing this.
Visually trembling. I'd have to
slap my legs to try to get
the blood flow back
in my hands and like get the adrenaline out of my system this is even more intense than Tarkov or
Rust but those final stages and fall guys my hands are getting slick they're getting sweaty
having to jump on those honestly I just hexagon the last one is so stressful and I got second
place in it and everybody was roasting me no hexagon Hexagon, I know I'll get my first Fall Guys win
playing Hexagon.
It's not going to be on the race up the hill.
Oh, that's the only one I've won.
I've never won a crown in that game, and that last one,
it's just like whatever it is, whatever luck I have in the world
isn't going to meet me in that game on that game mode
ever and i feel it in my soul it's weird to explain but it's never gonna work out hexagon
i feel more in control it's like i'm playing snake you're like kind of playing snake at that
point or like tron bikes but it depends like the race to the top i I always get fucked. I'm telling you, man, I get fucked over in that game.
Fuck Fall Guys.
That game's crazy.
Oh, dude, it's fun.
I love Fall Guys.
That's the best game.
That game does some stuff that really messes with me
because it's like I don't get mad at games.
I never get mad.
I never throw my controller or go, fuck, when I'm losing.
Even when I'm playing, my friends, I never, ever, ever do.
Fall Guys is the
only one where like when i die or something happens like or i just fall off a ledge i'm like wow
wow and nothing else does that fall because there's no way to die gracefully in fall guys
you never when you die in fall guys it's never like wow dude he had the right idea there i saw
what he was going for it's more like idiot yeah fucking moron you fell off you you didn't hit the hexagon right someone touches you someone touches you in the air and your guy just goes
falls flat and like gets scooped off the ledge or something i don't play fall guys but my favorite
thing to watch in fall guys is when the bullies get it right so what happened there'll be like a
race there's a finish line and you can grab a guy and throw him and there's a guy i guess is extra good
at the game so good that he can get to the finish line and then start fucking with people before he
qualifies himself and crosses it right so every so often though like that guy throws a guy off
the ledge throws a guy off the ledge and another guy comes up but he says who the fuck do you think
you are and the bully victim becomes the bully and takes the bully and throws him off the side and crosses on his own.
And it's,
it's fucking inspiring.
I'm about in tears.
Points in that game where literally one really,
I can fuck you up.
And every time you're approaching one of those choke points,
like if it's some guy wearing a chicken outfit,
I'm like,
okay,
I've got the chicken outfit too.
I've played as much as him.
He's still probably better than me,
but there's a chance.
Every once in a while, you're running towards one of those choke points, and there's a guy with the Witch King of Angmar helmet.
I'm ready to stop you, and I'm like, I'm going to lose.
I can't get past him.
How long has he played?
Is it literally the Witch King of Angmar's helmet?
It's not the literal Witch King, but they're so fancy.
You know what level it is?
It's when it's the first level, and it's when it's it's when it's
the be the first level and it's the pink goo one where the pink goo is rising oh slime yeah and you
get to that part where it's two yellow bars and then one yellow bar someone can stand on that
yellow bar and make a whole choke point and like yesterday i got stopped twice there by a bully and
like i don't have the button pressing down yet i'm like level six or something and like i got stopped twice there by a bully and like i don't have the button pressing down
yet i'm like level six or something and like i got knocked down like three times in a row and i was
like yo i promise you every time i get slime climb first i'm going there i'm gonna be that guy and
i'm not and i'm not even trying to beat it i will stay till the end and fuck up everyone because it's the first level and if i'm
if i'm just given slime climb first then that is the time i will choose to be a troll and i will
die in the pink goo but i'm gonna fuck it up for people because it was just so funny and i thought
that's you know what fall guys is pissing me off that's something fun there though i don't like it
that negative i don't like it harley it's. It's bullshit that you want to bully people.
I hope to God some guy comes along with the Witch King of Angmar helmet and says,
You think you're a bully?
Fucking let me introduce you to the Alpha of Alpha Chads and throws you off the side.
I hope it happens in front of everybody.
And I'm only there because I'm weak.
Like, I've never won.
I want to bully and fall, guys, because I never got the crown.
You're 6'6", Harley.
You bullied enough.
Why don't you just be nice to people?
Three crowns in that game.
And two of them are crowns they give you if you play long enough.
I've only won one game.
You've got a lot of participation medals.
Oh, yeah.
I'm almost level 30.
I'm really struggling i haven't i i've i have one crown for like the
participation crown but i haven't won one yet and i've been i've been fucking hurt man do you play
no yeah controller everybody was telling me number one thing you want to know something
crazy i play i play call of duty on computer and i use a controller
a lot of people do that so they get the auto-aim the games that i decide to use the controllers on
are so it's just random you know it's just random i guess maybe there must be an assistant just call
of duty i always thought like i'm like this is so optimized for consoles they must have like a little
like it must be a thing i can never look left to right
as fast as i could on pc but like i never miss a snipe and call of duty either you know yeah it's
it's it's the auto aim yeah there's a lot of aim assist built in for console guys in battlefield
games like battlefield like i play mouse and keyboard but i have a controller for when i get
in a plane or i get in a car i just just grab the controller quickly. It's like right there. Just because I always hate driving in games.
Have you played any Flight Simulator?
No, I haven't.
But no, I haven't played it.
But I have it.
But I was just like, I will be shit at this.
Yeah, it's another one of those examples of what I like just clearly is not what is what everyone
else likes. I read it was
the most popular
game
that's on that Xbox
sharing marketplace thing, whatever you
call it, where the PC guys can play off
the Xbox marketplace.
I don't remember, 10 million downloads
or something like that already.
It was something crazy. It was lot and uh and i watched that like the content is one thing like watching
some guy like put on a flight cap like like i think it would be funny to dress up like the
red baron or something like like go with like a different uh uh time era or something like that
and i've also i i've seen in the past where guys like role play
as a captain and they take it hyper seriously and that's kind of entertaining for me as a viewer for
you know five minutes but i don't get me personally i don't get playing that game for more than
long enough to do some silly stuff like my friend was trying to like
9-11 the new world trade center uh and i was like oh shit let's watch all right this will be fun
they put a big invisible bubble around the freedom tower wish we'd had that back in 01
that would say think of how much of a headache that was when i stream it uh i run a poll we
usually give people five choices. You want to see
Pyramids, Grand Canyon, Area 51,
this, that, or the other. Kyle's prison.
I wasn't going to say that, but that was actually a really
good one.
Woody flew to the prison
that I was housed at.
We landed to bust out snow.
Landed.
The joke was
they were going to bust out my cellmate.
We died on takeoff.
Did you believe it's been a year?
We died on takeoff?
We landed successfully, but I didn't get up.
Because there's no runway.
He's landed in the yard.
I have.
They did a really good job with the modeling of it.
Do you play Flight Simulator?
Yeah, I don't know maybe 30 hours
uh oh now you know you know how to play i feel like if you know how to play you're good
yeah he's good at it yeah so there are different levels of like assistance you can get for example
i don't um do all the pre-flight checking where i like turn on the fuel pumps and handle the
carburetor mixture on my own and stuff i just let that go auto but at that stuff yeah i know how to i know how to fly and land and i can are you streaming it
much anymore or are you mostly playing for fun on your own so this is a thing that happens to
tarkov players they're like you know what enough of this i'm gonna see what else is out there and
then they go away but the addiction is still set in and they come back they always come back except kyle but like it
tarkov guys always get sucked back in and that's kind of what happened to me like i'll be like you
know what i'm gonna stream flight simulator tonight and i sit down in this chair and it's like
tarkov it is yeah i've uh i i haven't played tarkov at all this wipe really uh like maybe
a little bit the first day or two they made some changes the game that i really didn't care for and uh and when a game does that i'm like all right well you
lost me you you fucking lost me like and then i keep hearing some stuff about the that um um
what's the main developer the owner slash the daniel white i didn't like that stuff nikita said
about the cheaters and it made me believe in the conspiracy theory that
he is either A, at the very
least allowing cheaters because it's more profitable
for him and potentially
What is this?
No.
I called him the Dana White of Tarkov
because he's like the head developer
slash owner, like decision
maker and the face of the
game slash company.
Basically, there's there's cheaters in Tarkov that ruin the game experience for everyone else.
And the reason they're cheating isn't just for fun. They cheat so that they can sell
in game currency for real world money on various websites, including eBay. And so like all that
hard work that we're talking about the grind the hustle to get like 50 million rubles, which is about around 40 million rubles.
You're like, I'll never run out of money again. I can have anything I want. I'd have to lose for
days and days and days to run out of money. I'm good. I'm solid. No longer an issue. You can buy
that for like 80 or a hundred dollars of real world money, which look, if you're playing the game every day,
isn't a ton of cash.
And so the real world transactions fund the cheaters.
And so Nikita made this statement
about how like a successful game
needs a certain amount of cheaters.
You need as many cheaters as you can get
before you start turning the player base off
to the point where they start quitting.
But the more cheaters you have, well, every time you ban one of these cheaters,
they just buy a new copy of your game because they're making way more than the value of a copy
of the game going in cheating and then selling digital currency for real world currency. I
shouldn't say digital because digital currency is real currency. So it is is cheaters buy the game 10 15 20
times so he doesn't hate them like we think he should and he's like you just need this balance
of cheaters and regular players the regular players are the victims but they only buy the
game once so who cares about them and then you have cheaters you buy it 10 20 times and you know
you can't have too many cheaters but you want to have enough so that you maximize your profits
and that line of thinking is a real turnoff if you're the victim yeah call of duty isn't
call of duty suing a cheating website now um they try hard there's something i think they're like
i think they're they're suing a website now some cheater aimball website or some shit because of
all the cheating in war zone you know back me up here guys sometimes you need a nice lawsuit just to send a message to the other people you don't like
yeah charge but there's cheating in every game there's cheating in every game it's going to
happen there's a lot of cheating in rust um but i knew that when i went in i could just tell it's
that type of game it's uh there's a lot of scripting that goes on just to get rid of recoil
i don't mind that as much.
What's scripting, though?
What is that?
It's like a program that's running on your computer or if you don't want to get caught, on your mouse.
So the recoil patterns in Rust are very difficult.
It's the most difficult recoil of any shooter to control.
Harder than CSGO.
If you start shooting an AK-47 in the game, the best gun,
and you don't control the recoil with your mouse,
it makes this straight-up zigzag pattern.
And people memorize that pattern and build muscle memory to the point
where their gun doesn't move.
Or they spend like $10 on a macro so their gun doesn't move.
They just fucking hit a key, turn that macro on,
and now they've got zero recoil.
That doesn't bother me, frankly.
That doesn't bother me either.
What does bother me is people make games.
It sucks, and they suck, and they're shit people,
but it also isn't something that would be a complaint for me
because I still feel I'm within the realm to beat them if I had the jump on them.
It's not like the gun shoots faster or anything.
It's just like they're a really good player, but they still aim at
you. Yeah, they still have to do
the aiming. That's why it doesn't bother me that much.
But then there are cheats in
Rust, like ESP, so they can see
through every material in the game
and see the most efficient way to
raid into your base. Those guys are even worse
now. And then there's guys who have
just straight up aimbot, where there's headshot, headshot,
headshot, headshot, headshot. But they're just doing it for fun because there's no way to make money
winning at rust but uh in tarkov you can actually make a lot of money cheating at
tarkov the nature of tarkov is like most players when they play they make money but kind of just
barely right you're just keeping your head above water. So in a night, maybe I make a million rubles.
But if I bump into a cheater or two, then my head's just below water.
So it kind of hurts extra.
Like there's this line that they push you down.
You're not far from doing well, but a couple cheaters that ruined some runs that would have been big.
So when you win, you want to win big.
And that's harder to do now with the changes they made
since Kyle stopped playing, the weight system and stuff.
You can't kill four people and take all their stuff out.
That's gone.
But when you're going to have a good one
and the cheater takes it from you,
suddenly you have to be really good
to make money in that environment.
Yep, it's kind of lame.
Lately, what I've been playing is...
I've been playing this game called Codenames with my friends a little bit,
which is just a fucking 2D word game in Tabletop Simulator.
That or Rust.
But I only play duo Rust, like me and one other guy,
because I've got to be able to count on the whole team pulling their weight.
And if you play with like eight guys, then they're not going to.
Do you guys play VR?
Do you guys ever play VR?
I haven't in a while.
I've got the original Vive,
and I haven't hooked it up in probably a year and a half,
two years or something like that.
I think we just, if you get one of the newer headsets,
I'd say we just got there in terms of where it's at the the the the
first step like i know it's been out for a while and lots of things have been out for a while there's
lots of cool stuff in vr but for me as a gamer where i've been like i've been buying them
throughout the past couple years like now i look at the library and i think of it and it's like a
legit system like if anyone's listening to this and thinking
about getting a vr like i i fucking it's the craziest thing are you gonna get a new gpu
30 series uh no i just watched that though i just watched that i have uh it was gonna be
uh it looks like yeah there's three of them. The mid-tier, which would be killer for what you do, Taylor, is like $800.
Oh, shit.
I want to say the mid-tier is more powerful than the 2080 Ti or at least the 2080.
The low tier is.
Oh, really?
God damn.
I thought that all through.
So there's 3070, 80, and 90.
3070, 3080, 3090.
And the 3070 is, I think it's 500. It's 4 80, and 90. 30, 70, 30, 80, 30, 90. And the 30, 70 is, I think it's 500.
It's 499, I think.
And that is more powerful than a 20, 80 TI for 500.
How much is a 20, 80 TI?
20, 80 TI was 1,000?
Was that what it was?
I probably paid 1,200 because I wanted it as fast as possible.
I think what I'm going to do is wait for the,
whatever the best TI of the 30 series to come out
i think i'll wait for that and get that like maybe christmas or something like that
and and it's you know what i said before the cards came out was the card has to be so fucking good
that it requires better peripherals like like or i'm not gonna get it it is that good it turned out
yeah it's so like you just replace more parts in your pc and shit no what i'm saying is that like
if if this card had come out and had been 15 faster than my 2080 ti like the top the top
tier one or 25 i mean like well shit that's That's just going to get me a couple more frames
on the games I already play
on the monitor I'm already using.
But it's so goddamn powerful
that the TI version of the 3090
or whatever it is
is going to allow me to play fucking 4K
at 144 hertz.
You could play VR.
8K at 60 frames.
You could play VR with full frames and have a display screen
like also monitoring just like anyone that one you know every so often when these cards drop
it's a big change right when the 1080 dropped and the 1080 ti the leap over the 980 was ginormous
it was a game changer and nvidia stock skyrocket it was this big deal when the 20 when the 2000 series
came out it was kind of incremental you know 15 better and it turned out that got a little better
with drivers over time but it was just like a little better than the 1080 i still have a 1080 ti
then the 30s came out and it's one of those years it's one of those special years where
like hugely for hugely for those ti ones or just jump on no you should you should get
the 3070 or the 3080 like as soon as you can and it'll power everything what what what you've got
a 1080p monitor you need a 3070 you need the 500 card and you're going to be killer on every game. He's blind as a
owl.
I'll just buy a new monitor
then, whatever. My brother would love
to have this. I can give it to him. Is that
worthwhile? That won't impact
what my stream sees, right?
Right. You'd probably see.
I don't give a fuck what I see.
I was going to say that you actually don't
for you, where you play Fall Guys and stuff like that you actually don't need like for you like where
you like you know you play fall guys and stuff like that you wouldn't need a monitor but for
most people like though but at first yeah monitors like for gaming experience like a monitor is like
so important like to me when you're building your pc like you have to find that balance between the
card and the monitor or like whatever your computer will be just because you could spend so
much money building a computer and then to play it on a regular 1080p monitor it's like it's not
enough you're not really it's like i sound like you sound like you can't talk about pcs and i
sound like an asshole it's not about what taylor plays according to me it's about what taylor might
play right like flight simulator came out literally hardware doesn't exist on this planet that runs that game well fucking period right a 2080 ti is kind of shit in that game you won't get 60 frames if
you go to the city but you but if you don't if you're not if you've never played 120 frames
then like that person doesn't need to be spoiled get you know like you're so like i use you won't
get 60 frames this is fucking bad for consoles this – You won't get 60. You won't get 60 frames.
This is fucking bad for consoles, this bullshit.
That's why I'm not playing –
Part of the reason I'm not playing a lot of Flight Simulator.
I play console all the time, and I was always –
I never noticed the frame rate.
Until I noticed the frame rate, it changed everything.
Taylor is a big deal streamer,
and I feel like when he buys a new setup,
there shouldn't be any doors closed on what games he wants to play
i'm on woody's side like but he could still play 60 frames but not 60 frames i want to play like
the forest i want to play the forest and i want it to look real pretty real nice and everything
like i want to play games like that and i may as well invest in it i'm just saying like wait
are we talking about a monitor or a computer we're talking about everything at this point
another thing about taylor i think we have this in common.
I suspect he'd like to buy this computer
and then just not fucking worry about hardware
for the next three years.
Yes.
Yeah.
Someone, my friend who's really computer savvy,
texted me, he's like, what's your CPU?
And I was like, ha ha.
Intel, I think.
I've got one.
It's the Intel.
I'm not a computer.
Intel something.
It streams hoarders in 4K.
You can really see the shit piled.
You can almost smell the feces when you watch hoarders.
Oh, you haven't watched hoarders online
until you go to the brand new A&E YouTube channel
where they uploaded all the old seasons.
You can see every old, every old hair,
blue hair from that woman who lived in cat shit for 10 years.
You can see every one protruding from cat feces.
Like it's,
it's really deep.
I think what you need Taylor and like my recommendation,
I think you should step up to 1440 P over 10 80 P.
That's what I play in.
It's,
it's noticeably clearer
and better looking.
And get like 144
hertz, 1440p monitor.
I use a BenQ just because it's what Shroud
fucking uses. And it was like, well, I bet
he put a lot of work into figuring out what he wanted to use.
So my work was done
for me. I was told what to get.
And...
You don't game outside of streaming though
right uh not very much like when i game outside of stream i played fall guys a couple times outside
of stream being like because in my head i was like the reason you're sucking so bad is because
you're trying to engage with chat you'd be doing much better if you weren't that might not true
yeah i was still struggling pretty hard to try and get wins but uh really the reason that i
don't game different games is because like it's not going to look that good you know and so i i'm
totally going for what what he's saying like yeah but we get 100 144 hertz the monitor will be
expensive and you can't even your audience isn't going to get 144 hertz yeah but you know like taylor's got money and he
can get like you might be i i feel like like the difference between the the 144 hertz and like
like a one that does like 60 hertz is like you can get some cool ass elgato fucking switcher type
thing that might might engage the stream amazon you don't need the v6 in your delivery truck a v4 will get it done
most of the time and you're like you don't need the we're fucking amazon here baby we want to be
able to handle any problem that our delivery trucks might come upon right taylor is not a
fledgling so that's 1080p he's uh 144 hertz okay so i need that plus saying like at the overkill of it regardless no matter
what he's never gonna game 144 hertz solo like it's not it's never gonna happen like to reach
100 the best thing is at least he's buying for the next three years but i i just like you could
still just aim for 1080 and that's what people are watching it in, you know?
Okay.
I wouldn't pick 4K.
I don't know.
The only thing is that I just, I gave like,
I've like bought or helped purchase like, you know,
little streaming setups for so many people recently.
And like you could really customize it for a person.
If he's never going to game, like that's blessed.
Because you guys
and me we like premium gaming experiences we've been gaming for like our whole lives
taylor is a streamer now and so everything he purchases could be in the concept of a streamer
first and a gamer second at least the way i see it what struck me is when taylor said you know
i'm gonna play the forest i'd like it to look good,
man.
You can make games look so pretty.
Like,
like I remember when I first got that,
um,
that,
that curved 34 inch,
uh,
monitor.
And I,
I started modding the shit out of Skyrim and like turning the settings to
maximum with my,
when,
when I first got that 10 ATI and I was just like,
fuck, I wish I could smoke weed this is incredible this is incredible the colors like everything's so sharp my number one priority would be make it look as good as possible on stream but like i want
to be able to see it look really good too you know if i'm playing it 60s just the limit on stream
but then going from 60 upwards and frame rate on the monitor gets very expensive if i'm playing it 60s just the limit on stream but then going from 60 upwards
and frame rate on the monitor gets very expensive and i'm just thinking if you're a streamer you can
get like a little like elgato soundboard switcher type thing and do some silly ass shit or you can
even pay some graphic designer to make you a special there's just other ways to spend the
money that i'm thinking because you're fortunate in that you don't, you're not going to game this away from stream.
But you can still blast it to ultra, ultra HD graphics,
full fucking crazy everything,
but just 1080, 60 is just, you'll never go past it
because you don't give a shit.
I didn't know there was a touch limit of that.
Yeah, the touch limit's the bit rate, right?
Is it like 5,000 or 6,000?
It's five, I think.
But you could still do, you could do 4K 60 frames on that being a streamer i don't know fucking shit
about any of this i think it's like 500 but and he wants to he wants to play anything
make it look great three years from now it may have gone up um so then yeah just throw
all the money at it and just fucking buy the craziest computer. Yeah, the thing is like –
Get a sponsor.
These new GPUs are so fucking good, dude.
If you buy the $800 GPU right now, like you're going to max that 1080p monitor the fuck out.
It's not – it's going to be like putting a fucking supercharged V10 in your – I don't know.
It is, but you're right on a bicycle on a fucking
bicycle like he's not maximizing it enough like i know what you mean a lot of wasted horsepower
all the extra horsepower is going to be the frames of it and the monitor's not doing like i get it
but like it's also now that computer instead of three years is going to surface purpose for like
five and less and less 4k 60 i don't
know if people will start watching streams 4k 60 i want to play for i want to play 4k 144
i like that's what i'm talking about with this with it i want to play 4k 144 but big i want it
to be like 50 inches i want the bigger i want them bigger now i want them bigger now. I want them like I thought. I have like this is like 34 or 37.
I don't know.
That's pretty big.
It is, but it only does 120.
But I want bigger.
I want them to be the size of TVs.
Do you have the curved one?
It's got a curve to it.
What's it called?
Is it the Predator?
Predator, yeah, exactly.
Yeah, I've got that one too.
I'm not using it right now.
But it was a little hard to – it's ultra wide, right?
Yeah.
Yeah, I had to – it was weird because I was using it to play modded Skyrim and Fallout,
and I had to go through so much modding to get those games to work in ultra wide.
So I switched to a standard like 144 bin queue that's 1440p.
I like it a standard 144-bit BenQ that's 1440p. I like it a lot, but what I recommend to you,
we're not going to do a whole PC build live on the show,
but I like 144 hertz at least, and I like 1440p at least.
These new GPUs are insane.
The second one, is that okay?
Because it's only like $260.
That's way less than I was thinking when you guys were saying it was real expensive.
Yeah, I don't know what an AOC is.
But, I mean, these numbers, like 144 is the right word.
Yeah, the stats seem fine.
I mean, it's 144 hertz.
I don't know enough details, but I feel like 4 milliseconds isn't that good.
It's one millisecond
on the um on the 144 hertz g2 series oh i was just clicked that link i don't know i just clicked the
first link yeah he's looking at the 27 inch 2k um curved monitor you guys are so lucky like living
in the states like you just don't get shit like that in canada you never get the cheap options
or like the lower end you never get that like that you just get
protecting you from companies like aoc but you know what like i'm good take aoc use that for a
year it breaks okay another 250 i still haven't spent as much as i did on you know like that's
not bad or it does something weird there's probably gonna be like a blue line like slowly scanning up
words on it or something you just ignore it it's like a thousand bucks less than what you were expecting to pay
that reminds me of when i had to buy my grandparents i've said on the show so i'll
say it short when they you'll tell i've been using the same tvs for 15 years in their house
and they're just nice southern folk and i went down there and was watching my grandma on her tv
she was watching qVC or something.
There's just a red stripe that thick on a 42 inch TV.
It's way too small for the room they're in.
And I'm like, grandma, this is horrible.
Like she had like a Redskins Cowboys game on or something.
And she was like, now, you know, you might think it's pretty bad, but you get used to it.
You'd be surprised.
I was like, this is unacceptable.
And then we bought our new TVs.
She and my grandpa.
My grandpa was blown away at like the Netflix button because he's had Netflix for years and he hasn't known how to access it.
He just watches bull riding and ridiculousness with Rob Dyrdek.
Those are his two core shows.
He will flip to Ridiculousness and laugh at internet videos from 2002.
Very popular in prison too.
Really?
Oh, Ridiculousness was very popular in prison, yes.
It makes sense.
It's just kind of a thoughtless, silly little show.
Yeah, and they don't have the internet there, so it's all new stuff.
So it's also when they see some dog being silly.
They're like, oh, that dog's saying, I love you.
I love you. It's from 1997.
Can you believe it? Wow.
I wish I was on an episode.
I wish I could see people in prison reacting
to the episode that I was on.
Oh, that would have been funny.
I'd like a piece of that fat bitch if he was in here.
If you want to see it,
consider Smoking Pot in Georgia.
Yeah.
I'd like me some Jew pussy.
That'd be funny if he had some Jew pussy.
I know that guy.
Shut up, bitch.
Yes, sir.
We're only friends.
Are you disrespecting me?
You lying to me?
No, his name's Holly.
He's from Canada.
He's Jewish.
I'm sorry.
I shared my VR, a little 15-second VR clip here of the stuff I've been doing lately.
By lately, I mean like the last four days.
If you guys want to check it out, you might like it.
You might like it.
Yeah, I'm opening it now.
Jesus.
That's an intense game.
That looks so good.
This looks really cool.
What's that game called?
That's Half-Life Alyx.
And it's like, I just played through it,
but then I took the character voices out,
and I just kind of. That's really sketchy.
Oh, that's my dad.
No one actually says that, and they don't interact with you like that.
That's just me doing the voices going on.
But that game, just like Half-Life 2,
if you remember when you first played Half-Life 2
and first started doing physics puzzles and stuff,
booting up Half-Life in vr like and just
touching things the things you could touch and do is so weird because you're like re-experiencing
controls and video video games or like you like touch things like you know like you know when you
go into a room in fallout fallout 3 fallout 4 and there's all this bullshit on the table and you
look around with your cursor to see what what is important you just kind of scan the items in vr you kind of run over to rooms and like you pick shit up and like
look at it and turn it around like you touch everything and i guess they knew that with
half-life because just like with half-life 2 they kind of somewhat revolutionized uh like the
interactivity within the game so i've made like a whole bunch of content just on fucking
the tutorial like that's the beginning of the game the game doesn't even start and i've
just made like content um yeah it's really cool yeah make me want to play vr dude i'm
i promise you and you know what with everything everything they said about just getting a Mac's computer,
you would be able to play VR.
You would be able to do that.
And that'd be like a fucking funny-ass stream.
If you stream that,
all the games and silly shit...
If you went into VR chat, you'd be so funny at that.
You just go into a room
where people literally are
avatars from
like hentai vibes vibes and you just talk to
these people they're having conversations you just jump in and now you're talking and like for your
audience they're just gonna watch you like be in there and even though you could do it outside of
vr there's an element of just being in it that's more can you change the race of your character
oh yes oh my goodness.
So I can be different characters.
Don't you remember that meme that I thought was so hilarious?
The Knuckles thing where he's like, you do not know do weight.
Yeah, that's literally VR chat.
Yeah.
People want me.
I got a lot of requests back when I was playing GTA 5 to do GTA 5, the online version.
Oh, role playing.
Yeah, they were playing one
because that seems like a fuck ton of fun,
just going on there and talking shit and being a dick
and joking around, doing silly voices.
That would be a good thing
if I get the new graphics card and everything.
Because I really, like GTA,
I was watching somebody else's stream doing that.
That game can look, GTA 5 can look beautiful.
It can look so cool.
And so if I do that, i really want it to look good
sadly enough that's one game that you could still go and put all the sliders to the right with your
new graphics card that you don't even have yet and like you're still gonna have to pull it back
a little bit we'll see really 30 90s yeah yeah we'll see especially in 1080p yeah um you know
what else is in vr is fucking the forest you can play that
horror shit in fucking vr i would not i'm gonna punch walls i remember when you were
you got your vr thing for the first time and you're like i got so amped up i thought it was
right in the middle of the room and i reached out and you just clocked your hand i punched my fridge
i punched my fridge really hard you gave me your kitchen knock that fucking knock i was fucking my knuckles up like like just just like i would try to keep this like
this sense of where i was in the room and occasionally like there'd be a i don't know
i'd be playing a game where you're like constantly getting shot at and you're deflecting the bullets
away or something like that or i'd be playing brookhaven experiment where you're surrounded by like
disgusting spider monsters and you're shooting them with your weak ass flashlight and your pistol
and i'd lose i every between rounds i'd reset i'd like touch a wall and then you know all right
three bases to the right but like if a round got too extreme i'd get too close to a wall and i'd
punch that motherfucker or even worse i do this thing too close to a wall and i'd punch that
motherfucker or even worse i do this thing where i threw a punch and just my knuckles scraped along
the wall like just right and i took all the skin off like three of my knuckles one night
ah it so now i gotta get the neosporin out right of course and then go back spiders and vr killing
your guy. Yeah.
Oh, I didn't stop.
I'm not a pussy.
I mean, I'm not going to leave him to the arachnids. You're just in there.
Kenny!
Where's the Neosporin?
I actually am a little bit of a pussy
in the sense that I have to take breaks in VR.
I played for a bit and I get nauseous.
Oh, it's disorienting for you?
Well, I have a mat on the floor.
So I know where I am. And then I have a fan going that mat on the floor so i know where i am and then i have a fan
going that helps as well and i know where i am and i you could kind of see an outline on the floor of
where you are so i don't hit the walls anymore but it's just nauseous yeah there's a thing it's
nauseating yeah yeah there's a thing that's like i i kept looking it up because i never got that
for first person shooters and stuff but some people did and it's just the whenever you're moving but it's not how you're moving so
like you're not moving your legs or walking in vr so you're moving and then you could turn left and
right but you didn't do that but your brain thinks you are in there so it's all fucked up and it just
messes you up and like after like about an
hour i'll have to stop you get motion sickness doing other things or is this it it's no i i
could read in the car like if that's yeah i don't get motion sickness it's just vr and it's what
harley is saying it's it's whenever what your real world body does does not perfectly correspond to
what your virtual body does if your virtual body for whatever reason looks up and to the left and you didn't do that it throws
your brain and inner ear out of whack and you'll get nauseous i pressed like basically i was playing
the game standing there i'm perfectly fine i'm practiced in vr i have my vr legs as people call
it so i'm good at it now and i could play for even sometimes more than an hour.
I put on this game.
It's smooth, fast frame rate, which is good.
So like it helps with the motion sickness.
There's a duck.
I'm pressing all the buttons to see what they are.
I press a duck button.
So the character ducks down and it's just so smooth.
And I didn't do that.
I was like, whoa, I like take it off. I'm like hot. I'm sweating. And I'm like whoa i like take it off i'm like hot i'm sweating and i'm like
i'm so fucking i'm like i'm weak but you do like you kind of like it's so weird i've like it's so
dumb but like practicing for the like practicing like in a game like so i could play the game
like i was putting it on with a fan blowing and sitting and doing all these tricks
because i put it on and i was really fucking choked that i bought a thing for 1200 bucks
and put it on for 10 minutes and took it off i'm a fucking stupid nerd like i'm such a fucking nerd
i can't even play my fucking game and like i like putting it down and like taking breaks
have you tried the roller coasters that are vr is it like disney world universal it's the first the first thing i ever did when i put on a vr headset that
was like one of the computer ones i put on was a roller coaster for four seconds i took it off and
i was like fuck vr and i was gone for three years and it was because i did that and they do say they
do say like and as a person like myself i I like to introduce people to things. They're like, don't ever introduce someone to VR with a roller coaster.
So I do it at the amusement parks, and the roller coasters are killing me.
Like you said, I'm sweaty.
I'm hating this.
But I'm stuck in this rut.
I can't just take it off like you can.
I need to make it to the end of this.
It's like, Woody, if you just close your eyes, they can't hurt you.
Yeah.
You were in. You just closed your eyes. They can't hurt you. Yeah. You were in.
You just closed your eyes.
It was a VR roller coaster.
Yeah.
They blew the fucking Dave and Buster's now.
You sit in the chair, you strap the thing on,
and it leans back and it does the...
There's a couple different ones.
I hate that.
There's some...
Universals I didn't like.
I remember it was Spider-Man themed. I bet it's been updated by now. But it was an universals i didn't like if i remember it was spider-man themed i bet it's been updated by now but it was an actual you didn't like that it's so as a
roller coaster it's actually kind of weak sauce right like you just sort of on a car moving around
but with the screens and everything jumping at you and diving and stuff it's really pretty intense
yeah so um i'm in a hurry um but then there's other ones like soaring at epcot is really nice
so in that thing i guess you're supposed to be in the flying lawn chair or something maybe that's
why i like it but as you go over the orange groves the scent of orange groves fills the
i love that and as you go over like you know, strawberry fields or whatever, and it's just the most majestic views flying around,
and you get the smell and environment and sound of it.
Man, you guys are spoiled in the USA,
because, like, I did that Spider-Man thing,
and I was like, we don't have anything like this
in my entire fucking country.
Like, not even one.
And then, like, that Transformers ride,
like, I bought in the Fast Pass many times times it's like the spider-man version but it's the transformers version
is like so it's like that but just that much better like it's kind of like when they release
like a new game and it's just so crazy it's like so it's just like a fucking it's a trip you can
watch the videos on youtube it doesn't do it, but at least you can get an idea of it.
But remember, yeah, it is weak sauce as a roller coaster
because it's for like a seven-year-old can go in also.
But some people do get nauseous, but there's water,
and they splash on you.
I remember I went to a scene.
I lost, I was playing the Dave and Buster's,
and the Dave and Buster's in here, one of them,
they have one of those machines,
like those big things you get in,
you strap in with the VR and like,
I lost the men in black game because it was a multiplayer game and everybody
has different guns.
You don't know which gun you're going to get from men in black until you sit
down.
I got some bullshit rifle and the person next to me had like the really
important gun.
You know,
the little one that just goes,
yeah, the noisy cricket and you need the noisy cricket to kill the final boss you know i'm i'm killing the flyers because that's faster and i'm like telling him i'm like alex
alex come on shoot the big guy i got a little once i got a little i didn't know and like the
whole time like it's just i see a floating cricket next to me. He had left to vomit two minutes into it.
They didn't give me my $15 back.
They shouldn't have.
When I was playing, I really enjoyed the archery games.
There was one where you start getting more and more moving targets.
I just remember after 15 minutes of drawing back an imaginary
bow and letting go, like I'm getting sore.
Like you'd legitimately get like, like for real,
like you've done this rapidly,
like just do this over and over for 20 fucking minutes.
And like, like, like you're having so much fun.
You don't care.
But like, I'd be like, Oh, I got to pause between rounds. rounds i i take the the the mask off and i'm just drenched in sweat just like just gross
like no not really because you gotta it's like you gotta draw it back like there's a real because
like like you have to hold them both i i think shooting bow and arrows in VR is also really cool.
It's just like one of those activities where it just feels so much like you've done it so many times in games,
but it does have the whole extra element.
Like shooting guns and arrows in VR is something that I've done so much in games.
There's a real string, right, in this bow?
That's why Kyle's sore?
Am I misunderstanding?
No, there's no.
No, it's just you're standing up and you're doing this.
Really just doing this enough gets you tuckered out.
Yeah, it's like boxers.
Boxers hold their arms up for three minutes and get tired, you know?
You're right.
When I watch other people do things, I often think, I could do that.
That doesn't even look like work.
Because the game forces you to do it rapidly, right?
Because there'll be like 30 targets on the screen,
and you've got a limited amount of time, and they're moving.
And shoulders have no resting position.
So even in between, it's not like your shoulders are resting.
They're still like being shoulders.
It's just this over and over.
And it's got this really nice haptic thing where as you're drawing it it back it's got a little bit of vibration kind of like a string going yeah
and when you release it it's got that thong and you feel it in in your in your hands that
you've got this it feels real that's why i said what i was saying when i like touching things in
vr is like this is one of those things where everyone's said it a million times you can
imagine you're like yeah yeah i can imagine like once you put it on it's different like you do start touching
things and that haptic feedback is like there for everything that you touch and like i don't know
it's like it's like re-experiencing games a a bit for me like uh i think uh i don't know it's too
bad it's been like a pandemic because i have like so many buddies that i'd like to show it off to
but i don't want their like.
It's my favorite thing about VR when I had it on was showing it off, was demoing it for people.
You want to do an ad, Taylor?
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You know what I'm talking about?
We could see, I would say i'm transitioning from sweaty to wet
and we're only an hour we haven't even mentioned your al costume yet
you told me you were going to tell us you were going to tell me early but you should have i
wasn't even well i was thinking about it because my face would get randomly hot
but uh so this is like really thick material way
thicker than what i thought i was getting for 35 off amazon and so like a fucking retard i i took
this is a bit ago i was like hey we get to 2 000 subs on twitch i'll wear an owl costume you can
go to my twitch channel taylor merker if you want to see that stream it's a better costume than this
it's just i couldn't wear that one because it would have infuriated everybody who listens to audio in the car because they'd be hearing it through like an owl muffled mask
and uh i was like i was like 1900 subs and they're like hey what do we need to get you to
to wear that uncomfortable thing on the show and i was like oh or do a stream with it and i was like
oh 2000 they did that immediately so i did that and then i told them i'd wear it on the show for
like a couple more that was retarded because some guy jumped in and was like,
and so now I'm really sitting in ball soup.
I'm just wearing underwear under this.
Well, I got a shirt on too, but this is, this is rough.
Really, really rough.
Yeah.
I'm going to take you off in a little bit, I think,
because I'm getting very stupid.
No, I didn't.
I didn't.
No. Yeah. Man of your word, Taylor. You know what? I'm going to take it off in a little bit, I think, because I'm getting very stupid. Well, I did make a promise.
No, I don't think you get that.
Man of your word, Taylor.
You know what?
For the first time ever, I'm going to do the show like this.
I'm like, Carly, I have to sit like this when I'm gaming,
when I'm talking.
The way Kyle sits during the show, I'm always like, how the hell does he do that?
I feel like I have to be leaning forward.
Yeah, when I do that, I'm just in the zone.
I'm gone.
Cut a hole
where your balls are for the rest
of the show. We don't need to see it.
There's big holes in it throughout.
This is big enough for...
Get your balls out of there.
Take your balls out.
Take your balls out for the boys.
That's a Patreon-only...
Just getting squished.
Are you wet up there are you on the top of your head yeah he's wearing a giant felt garbage bag
like
remember that you knew that guy named Walmart? Yeah.
I have this feeling.
It's probably not, but I have a feeling that could be a real name soon.
Like in 2036, like it's the most popular name in the US is Walmart.
It might be Amazon.
Walmart sounds like it could be a future name.
You should get a discount if it's on your driver's license, right?
Everything's 15% off. If your name is walmart you could set that if your name is walmart and you get 10 off i
promise you easily so many people will be like fuck i would have named him walmart anyways
yeah and people like what yeah walmart's a girl's name our daughter's name is walmart
name your kids woody it's good for a boy or girl how is there not a rapper named walmart yet
oh there will be yeah now there will watch some fun you better steal it watching this stream
you want to talk about gwyneth paltrow's vagina let's see yeah i've been waiting
yeah i saw this too yeah i linked this earlier for goop, smelling Gwyneth Paltrow's vagina was just another day
at the office. So I
double-checked that this
wasn't a total joke because we
talked before, I think, or maybe it was in private.
I think I was on this podcast
actually with you guys
the last time we spoke about Goop. I think I was
here. Maybe, but
I don't think just by chance.
It was something
else maybe like a yeast infection bakery good i don't know exactly but the way that this the 47
year old actress describes it as kind of being punk rock to have a candle called this smells
like my vagina it's like this it's not punk rock that's
that's pretty crass i don't want that i don't want to go to someone's house and see a candle on their
the table that says this smells like i'm completely on the other side of this issue
no no but see i kind of want my reason okay smell like her pussy it smells like ginger and cloves
and something else they didn't actually They didn't actually distill pussy smell.
It's a hilarious novelty gift
if you actually give someone a candle
that smells like pussy.
That's really, that's fun.
I think this should have been a series.
You're right.
You're right about the novelty aspect.
But I think also this should be like a series.
Like if you're going to be this honest,
like you should have like,
this smells like my vagina.
Sure. But then have another one like
after the gym in the morning or this smells like my vagina at work like you should have other
flavors of it and you know what i was i looked at this and it's so funny my first my first thought
was uh why does this article even put this picture here with 17 likes
in this account like no one i don't know so weird um but i think like it is punk rock because my
first thought was i was like oh no one wants your pussy candle but then i'm thinking about it
think about it like think about like like think about like uh i'm trying to think who
like because i don't want a dick candle but
i'm trying to think like who at a certain time it could have been a thing if it's like this smells
like my dick like it's different it's different because like you're like oh that is punk rock
yeah then being like this smells like my vagina it's just like what no it doesn't i bet that's
not what your pussy smells like
but like if it was like if it was like this smells like my dick like what would you
what would you mix to make it smell like your dick what did you think it smells like
yeah i've got about three ounces of sweat just sitting under
wrist it's just my penis itself like it's just a body part that doesn't sweat much like
like my wrist or my forearm or my no you don't think though it's banging between your two hairy
balls all day in that hot pouch of your underwear you're talking to a man who owns a bidet and uh
has wet wipes by every toilet it smells slightly of soap. No, no.
I'm not saying your balls would stink worse than anyone else, but
your balls don't smell like your wrist.
As a matter of fact, this tastes like soap
is a recurring complaint I get, and it's
like, hey woman, that's what clean smells
like. Do I walk into your kitchen and be
like, what the fuck?
Hold on, I'm doing a thing, fuckers!
Do I walk into your kitchen and say, what the fuck? This is lemony'm doing a thing, fuckers! Do I walk into your kitchen and say,
what the fuck, this is lemony fresh?
No.
This is a half-hour conditioner.
I think you're being a responsible lover.
Imagine Jackie coughing in a bubble.
I made that joke before.
I think you're being a responsible lover
and washing your dick in balls
before you're getting into any sort of coitus.
That's why it smells too much like soap because you know you got stank dick so you're on top of it you're
washing it before i would wash it we all love stank dick it smells like your wrist if your wrist had a
butthole like an inch away from you imagine there was an asshole right here. Yeah, it smells like your wrist, I'm sure.
I don't know.
I just, I do think it smells like my vagina. I wish it was right there.
That would make life so much more convenient.
You'd think of Frank.
You'd think of Frank.
You'd think of Frank.
Just hang your wrist out the window as you're driving.
Going up behind your buddies and
like putting them in a choke hold oh my god a fucking choke hold would be a nightmare universe
this is a nightmare universe the hepatitis would be a huge problem how awkward would the ufc be then
you get an arm part and the defense to it is to poop. Like, oh, Jesus Christ.
You know what else would make it?
That would be gay sex heart.
It'd make it easy, I think.
Yeah, right?
Well, there's only this much distance.
Oh, Mr. Forench.
No, no, it's going in.
It's going in.
Hand job.
It's going all...
Hand job.
It's just a tube and then there's some sort of shit sack like here on your right side.
Well, it's not a sack.
And then there's some sort of shit sack like here on your right side.
Well, it's not a sack.
There's like an intestine that runs down and then up your arm. We need to put it in the palm Iron Man style so that your lung and your stomach are swapped.
Work your way down there for me.
Yes, exactly.
If I were God, this is how it would work.
You wouldn't even have holes anymore or they would still be there for fun.
Well, men wouldn't have buttholes, women would oh okay all right chad that checks out like a kangaroo pouch yeah that's where that's where they'd store their young this would
change everything about prison they don't like what she said this sorry i'm back to pussy candle
she said the idea is that women have been taught to have a certain amount of shame about their body.
I think everyone does, though.
Yeah, it's not just women.
It's not like the idea is women have been taught
to have a certain amount of shame about their body.
While men are allowed to parade about talking about their stinky assholes
and ball sacks.
Well, we're not allowed to do that either.
I mean, we do it. It feels like...
Write this down. We need candles
that smell like buttholes.
You guys really do. I actually
agree with that. I really do. I think I would
pre-order those. I would never
smell them, but I'm buying them.
I know how to make my own candles. I got some soy wax
in there, and I've got an asshole.
Serious face, Harley.
We're going to sell candles that smell like butthole
whose butthole each of us will have our own can mine's gonna smell like soap i swear
and the other one's just a true true to form like whatever your buttholes are but i like the idea if
you get in the three pack but like people are. But I like the idea of you get it in the three-pack. But people are like, you know what?
Actually, all joking aside, I got it as a joke as a novelty thing,
but the Woody's butthole does smell like the soap I used to use at my grandmother's house, so I love it.
And I envision people lighting Woody's butthole candle
with a different label over it.
Is that Irish Spring?
That's Kyle's butthole.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Wait, is that Suave 10-in-1? That's Taylor's butthole yeah yeah wait is that suave 10 and 1 that's taylor's butthole
taylor uses a 10 and 1 wash system he's like you know the car wash when you spray that shit in
your car and it's like a rainbow because there's so many different chemicals they got in there
that's what he pours on himself when he gets in the shower. He's got no time.
And then the hot wax.
God,
hot wax is the worst.
Oh man.
Let us know in the comments.
Would you buy a PKA butthole candle?
A cum candle.
No,
just say it.
Like be real guys.
We all want to know.
We all want to know like, will you actually buy it? Don't just say, you were right. Oh, I know they'll buy it. we all want to know we all want to know like will you actually buy it
don't just say over the line you were right correct oh i know they'll buy it i just want
to know what's the price point i want to know let us know how much would you pay for that six hundred
dollars we're going to get back to you on price tbd you know we'll get back on that i think that's
a fifty dollar thing by the way it's not gonna jump in and say it's $50 at least. I'm just going to say that.
As a consumer, I'm comfortable buying $50 at least.
It depends what the candle size are.
If you've got candles the size of this can,
it seems like a bundle of three of those.
Candles are expensive.
It seems like a $20 thing, right?
I don't know what candles go for.
$20 US, $50 Canadian. and by the way i love that soda
people always come over and they never want my sodas but i like all the flavors of that i buy
the rainbow pack from amazon you get this big crate of them it's on the monthly like resupply
thing and i get two of every flavor now they're all terrible big cream they're great love them
you like the what you like the what like cream soda one but all the other ones i like black cherry that's my favorite i like black cherry is probably my favorite but i
think the cream soda is my next favorite cream soda is my next favorite orange is a bit of
root beer so i like it i like it a lot you know if i'm gonna drink soda it's uh it's zevia that's
pretty much all i drank that and these like sugar-free Red Bulls that I drank before the show.
Yeah, it's good stuff. It's made with Stevia.
Yeah, I say Zevia.
I don't know if I'm right, though.
I don't know if I'm right.
I guess I never really spoke about it in conversation.
I figure it's Zevia because Stevia is pronounced Stevia.
That's a good argument.
I say Stevia, though.
Oh, well, shit. I might bevia, though. Oh, well, shit.
I might be wrong, though, but I could be wrong.
You are Canadian.
I don't know if you saw it.
You see that Reddit post where they were showing where all the Allied and Axis powers were signing that document to end World War II?
And it's one of those super official documents, right?
end world war ii and it's one of those super official documents right it's the document where the leaders of each nation are signing to end world war ii and so you know at the top it's got
this big header you know we the nations of earth fucking blah blah blah and then it's like it's got
printed you know prime minister of japan and you know, like whatever the guy from America was, you know, rear Admiral MacArthur or whoever the fuck.
I don't remember who it was.
And it's like down the list and you're supposed to be like, it's got your name printed and then a line.
And then you, you're supposed to sign on that.
Canada fucks up signs on the wrong side of the line so every
country below
them had to write in
next to their name who the fuck they
were because everybody had to get shifted
down so the last name is just
written in the margins on the
form that ends World War II
they didn't bring a second copy and Canada
ruined the one they had
who fucked it up in Canada?
I just kept fighting.
Let me see if I can find it.
Yeah, it's just like, well, this is not up to our standard of surrender.
Yeah, I got it right here.
Canada, what's your respect?
You were the insult to dishonor.
War back on.
Yeah, look at the shit it's so bad
no come on
come on
wow
obviously whoever that is from the
poor guy who's from the dominion of
New Zealand has to write
in the goddamn margins
poor guy he should have been given who's from the dominion of new zealand has to write in the goddamn margins but on the bottom
of the room are they all in the room together are they laughing at that or like well no nobody's
laughing on that i imagine they were on, on like a battleship or something,
like super, like everybody's like fucking shoulders back.
Like, all right, this is it, boys.
The last shot's been fired.
I feel like everyone's just like, why did Canada even have to sign it?
Come on.
I would laugh at the Canadian.
Can you imagine?
Like, I bet that Canadian fuck was sweating more than taylor
when he when it popped it like oh oh no and he's got to pass the form on to fucking honduras or
whoever the fuck signs after him he's just like i'm gonna skip i'm gonna skip out before the final
dinner you know i like to imagine they sat there trying to decide how they're gonna like
fix this for like 20 minutes that they literally probably it could have started a whole new fight
yeah like disagreeing about what should be like someone we should just write it down and do it
like oh why are you gonna decide that i believe you just lost the war if anyone should decide
it's us it's like this isn't what we're we invented writing
it wouldn't go well it wouldn't go well yeah that's that is a real fuck up everybody gives
donald trump a hard time because what did he do he like held up one of his bills upside down or
something like that something he had signed you know he always signs a bill he's like ha ha
like shows it off i mean that's a quality template, or it was for a long time. The holding up of the
things. Yep.
It's kind of down now.
Overdone.
We need a whole new crop of memes
for the 2021. He's got a nice signature though.
He does have a nice signature.
And he uses a Sharpie.
So not only is it,
I have a bad signature, so
when I see a good one, it's like, ah, maybe I should focus on that.
Me too.
He uses a Sharpie, so it's like stage ready.
You could show it to an audience, whereas most people sign with pens, and it doesn't work past a few inches.
And he's a fucking celebrity forever, so you know that's just what he's been doing for 45 years is just,
no, I'm not switching to a pen because I'm president.
I'm a Sharpie guy.
I wasn't mad.
He talked about the Sharpie for a long time,
and he's like, the first line you write, it works.
You don't have to test it or anything.
Sharpies are pretty good.
I mean, you can't write small with them, but for something like that.
Yeah.
We know that's something we can all agree with.
Stand behind Trump in support of Sharpie.
They make quality markers.
He acted like it was a big cost-saving thing for the United States budget.
He's like, you know, normally we use $45 pens,
but I have Sharpies specially made that are black
because the gray is not classy enough.
And I'm like, oh, he didn't have.
He said it.
If he said that, that's the most blatant lie that that that's the
kind of lie that you know the this is i'm talking about the plastic the thing you hold not the
ink are we on the same page no no yeah i think we are now we are now okay yeah yeah no he felt
like the gray and black that that normally isn't fancy enough for a president so they it isn't
fan isn't that fancy i never noticed that the whole pen was black i thought he was trying to
claim that he invented the black sharpie the one that makes black marks on things yeah
yeah no but that makes sense okay yeah i guess i've never seen him sign where you can see the
sharpie logo i was just reading this article article. Who knows if this is true?
But it's on the Atlantic.
But it's like Trump, colon, said that Americans who died in war are losers and suckers.
I saw that headline.
I didn't read the.
I just can't imagine he said that, you know, like.
Yeah, he probably.
I mean, that seems really
in a conversation with senior staff members on the morning of the scheduled visit trump said
why should i go to that cemetery it's filled with losers
in a separate conversation on the same trip trump referred to the more than 1800 marines
who lost their lives at belal Woods as suckers for getting killed.
Where's the speech of this?
I'm sorry?
Oh, is there not like a video?
It's a little sketch in my mind.
Yeah, it's one of those things.
Private aides have revealed that Trump said
Oh my goodness, that's probably accurate.
Damn it, I was hoping for a speech.
Like a little video where he
Did you see him on the hot mic like yesterday or day before no what do you say i missed it he
was super cool genuine and friendly to all the first responders and police officers and side
and sat there for a really long time signing stuff for them like good yeah it's it they were
like hot mic moment from trump and i was like oh god what did he do he literally sits there when they're this age of trying to pull him away and he continues to sign
one thing after another and he keeps making the same bad joke he's like put that on ebay ten
thousand dollars you'll make ten thousand dollars it's narcissistic i won't put your name on it it's
worth more that way just not wrong nobody wants a dear billy thing from michael
jordan so there was a building that was like burned down and sort of ruined and he wanted to
get the owner of that business to come and like talk to him and you know talk about how awful it
was that these protesters fucked his shit up but the owner of the business wanted nothing to do
with him so he got this previous owner of the business oh nice to pretend that he owned the
business and he's like yeah it really sucks you know now i don't have this place anymore and like
like he didn't actually say anything it was untrue he phrased it just right yeah he did the whole way
through it he's just acting like man you know it's awful they came they burnt down this business and
now it's not mine and i don't think they should have done that oh i like that dude that's fucking lazy because you guarantee he could have when that guy
was like no i don't want to do that he could have like looked across the street and been like all
right well then i'm going to the coffee shop then i'll try that like there were plenty of places
burned down he could have gone to but he just oh i'm i mean there's been enough buildings burned
down so many he could have gone to that car one of the many car lots he could have gone to the kennesaw places that all got burned car
key damage is not as good as this there's this one building that i keep seeing in every picture
car key damage what do you mean that's what they were doing to use cars no no no i mean the entire
the entire car lot that burned for hours and hours cars yeah, so one car, an entire lot of cars burned
at a dealership.
Did you see the clip?
They're very...
Apparently very, very flammable.
I love that it goes from car to car.
You can see, it's these two guys
that own a car lot in Kenosha or whatever it is.
It's like from the curb
where you look and you see the rows of cars.
Every single one blackened to a crisp.
Like so it must be in a car lot.
They're parked close enough to go from car to car.
If they're true, no one makes it put them out.
I have a good and nobody put it out.
I'd like to see it.
I think you're going to put that shit out.
So Wikipedia, which is generally true.
I trust it mostly.
But here it is oh shit yeah wrecked
just that's not the one is it because it looks like it might be it's hard to tell uh that looks like the one there may have been multiple like it was well i don't i don't know how close this was
to the the shooting and stuff how many cars is that? I just know I've seen this photo. Dozens. It's like
30 fucking cars.
Oh, look at that one kind of blue Chrysler 300.
The back third of it is kind of burned.
That's who pulled in this morning.
That might be the guy's car.
They burned the
dealership too, of course.
Oh, it's burned.
That Chrysler 300 is worse than it looks.
They're like melted today i saw this uh
this black lady who owned like a sitco gas station and they've ruined her gas station
it's all fucked up and she's standing outside of it like don't y'all know this is a black owned
business what and i'm thinking like this is in the wrong subreddit boys this is not a public freak out this is a justice served
i love that she i love that she had the gall to say that like hey hey you burned down the wrong
business there's a white guy who owns a gas station down the road he's the one you should
oh my god like i was making making his millions on his gas station.
Did this happen the first night?
When did the burning?
Yeah, I think the burning was the first night.
Didn't get covered that heavy.
You're right.
And I really pride myself on watching Fox News and seeing the other shit.
Oh, she said they got the wrong store.
All the best videos, I'm telling you, come from independent journalists on Twitter.
Fox, CNN, all of them are going to siphon everything through a filter, get whatever they want out of it.
We need individual journalists who go to on-the-ground spots and are like, boom, here's a fucking video of what I got.
You know what a good move is, though?
Those journalists or those people, you've got to also follow the other journalists that they hate.
Yeah, of course yeah it's fun to watch like right because i follow all those people on both like the far far right and far far left and you'll see interactions and everything antithetical things
right after each other i only follow the proud boy twitter and they've never led me astray you
just have to be careful like for days the you know the first shooting the guy that was in the car lot
chasing kyle rittenhouse they said that he threw a fire bomb and a molotov cocktail at him it was
a plastic bag and that just sort of i don't know how do you throw a plastic bag that's on fire
it wasn't on fire but i saw a picture what was in the bag i don't know it was in the bag? I don't know what was in the bag. I saw him holding that bag earlier in the night.
It looked like there were clothes in it.
I don't know why you'd throw that.
But I've been through the news in detail, and it's a plastic bag.
It's very difficult to make that discernment in the moment, I would imagine.
I'll find it.
Yeah.
It could have been a different firebomb lots
of people were fucking around with fire i'm just saying i couldn't throw a plastic bag
if my life an empty one yeah there has to be something in there to give you what's in it right
was it a brick i heard trump saying people were throwing soup cans and he's like it's perfect it's
a really good weapon i'm paraphrasing it's a really good weapon it's not too heavy i guess he felt like it was hard to throw a brick might be i've never done
it um and then if you get caught with it it's really kind of like what i just have soup i'm
feeding my hungry family would call you a bitch for having never thrown a brick at something
he would
bricks at car lots but uh but as i thought about it i was
like yeah soup is actually it's almost perfect for this environment what are you doing with soup
well i just it's so funny that like the soup thing came up because i was this is like nights before
that happened i was watching some bullshit f-list horror movie which i love to do and like it got to
a point where like two captives like had escaped their bonds and were hiding in this house but the captors were still right outside of the the uh pantry like they're
one of those big rich people pantries that you can't just burst into and all around them they're
like what are we gonna do in here we gotta get out they have knives and there were so many cans
of soup and like beans and in my head my thought was like dude you can throw beans a can of beans
fucking hard and these rich
people are stocked you just have the other guy open the door and you from the other side just
start firing beans out there as fast as you can break a wine button that was my thought now i'm
talking about the movie more than what was going on but yeah you could fuck somebody up with a can
of beans yeah dude i almost so i've done a lot of research. You know who did one of the better breakdowns
of the sequence of events on those three shootings?
Ben Shapiro.
Like, and he backed it up with all the video
and put it together.
New York Times did a pretty good one too.
And I know you'd think that both would be biased,
but I think they kind of agreed.
And it's, to me, it's all about the first shooting.
Was the first shooting justified?
I inch towards yes, but it's not super obvious to me.
Right.
So the Kyle didn't fire first.
I don't believe someone else fired behind him as he was fleeing, but it was into the air.
Right.
So Kyle, you're running away.
Yeah.
Yeah.
But I don't know if mistakenly hearing gunshots in the air makes you justified to shoot somebody else.
If the person's pursuing you, it seems like it would, right?
Really?
Like, so if you're chasing me and I don't see you and I hear gunshots going up behind me, like I have a reasonable anticipation that the people chasing me and I hear gunshots like I'm in grave danger, you know, I could see why you might be like fooled into thinking that.
But I don't know that you're legally justified in doing that you can't kill me because some other asshole shot
bullets in the air i don't know about the legality i was just saying like i'm putting myself in that
situation and it's like if i'm running and i hear gunshots behind me and i know people are pursuing
me like i'm gonna be freaked the fuck out agreed yeah yeah yeah we're on the same page there i can
see why kyle might have mistakenly thought he was being shot at,
but I'm not sure that that makes him right.
Right?
You know, the other shooter was on camera,
and he was clearly like,
I probably didn't even know the Kyle thing was going down.
He was just shooting bullets in the air like an asshole.
Oh, so one of the guys that got shot was shooting bullets in the air.
No, this guy didn't.
So here's how it went down.
Kyle brings his rifle to this riot.
It's kind of a counter.
Let's call him something else.
Can we do that?
Rittenhouse.
We're going to call him Rittenhouse.
Rittenhouse brings his.
That's his last name.
Brings his rifle to this riot.
And he spends the day.
Kyle R.
Like The Bachelor.
Like The Bachelor episode. All right. to this riot and uh he spends the day are like the bachelor like the bachelor episode all right so in the daytime he's like cleaning graffiti and all the uh protesters are pretty uh um non-violent
and stuff like that everything's cool right and he also has a medic bag he's a lifeguard that's
what he does which i interpret as meaning he has some level of basic first aid right because that's
a lifeguard thing. Yeah.
And,
um,
and he brings his medic bag and he's there to like,
I don't know,
counter protest,
but also help people who get hurt and do his thing.
Um,
at some point,
the owner,
the counter protesting the,
so,
uh,
in the very beginning,
like days earlier in the same town,
a guy named Jacob black was killed by policemen.
And that's almost a separate story, but in my mind, not a popular
opinion. Good shooting. Wait, was that the guy outside his car?
Yes. So that guy had warrants for his arrest. The police were trying to take him in.
And he kind of wrestled his way away from the police.
As they were cuffing him he
breaks free and then the video starts and the policeman told him to stop he disobeyed that
they shot him with the taser the taser was ineffective he works his way to the car and
they're trying opens the car door and he goes inside the driver's side car door they don't
know this for sure but they have to be worried about this kind of thing turns out there's a knife
in the you know the driver's side and as he's leaning down, don't know if he was going for the knife, but that you could interpret it that way.
There's a weapon.
He has a weapon that's his own weapon in the car.
Perfect.
Shit can change so fast.
You know, those videos were like, oh, yeah, they drop at someone that other.
Yeah, they've impacted the way that I look at situations like this.
People can act very cool and then they pull a gun out and then it's a light switch all right so anyway the guy's
leaning into his car where there is a weapon and the police shoot him seven times in the back but
the police don't know the police it could be a gun that he has in there yeah right i don't know
i just know that he's what they do know is that he wrestled away from them while they were trying to
cuff him i shook off the taser and kept i want to
say driving towards the car is there a better word than driving you know walking determined
no i saw this it was like it was like football kind of like they're trying to stop him and he's
like rubbed like yeah i saw that part yeah so um so anyway uh that's the lens that i see it through
other people see an unarmed black man shot seven times in the back
right so that that's i don't line up with that kind of myths a lot i think a child because his
son was there as well was a big deal right he had three kids and well another another thing that got
omitted from a lot of stories is that the reason the police were called in the first place is
because the woman that he was kind of harassing there uh had a restraining order against him
and he was going there and trying to take her keys and being threatening and that's why the police were called i didn't know that i heard
some other very different story which was like he was breaking up a fight between two girls as a
sweet guy which i'm not saying it's true which is what i someone said it on the internet and they
shot him they shot him they shot him a lot didn't they seven times yeah and it took about four
seconds you had to shoot seven times so how many people
had guns on them all the cops i'm sure it was more than one cop right i'm trying to i remember
seeing the video i think there were two or three maybe two it could be three yeah i don't know but
anyway um when this guy got shot people started protesting right and during the daytime as is
kind of normal for these things it's like peaceful protesting and then nighttime falls and shit goes down.
So somehow or another, the owner of a used car dealership puts out the word that he needs some protection.
There's already been damage to this dealership and he would like it if people didn't damage it anymore, didn't make it worse than it is.
he would like it if people didn't damage it anymore.
Didn't make it worse than it is.
So Kyle answers the call and there's this dude, um,
Rosenbaum or something.
Anyway,
white guy bald,
we're going to call him in his late twenties and Kyle,
I keep calling Kyle Rittenhouse,
by the way,
is 17.
So,
uh,
um,
Rittenhouse goes,
this,
this,
this,
uh, this car lot put out like a post like on twitter
or facebook i i'm a little fuzzy on that detail i don't want to get it wrong but okay okay word
got the written house that he wanted yeah he's a stranger to the car lot by any by any means it's
not like he's just going there to help out be a good right citizen that's true there is some
misreporting on the internet that like it was his job to protect it or something like that.
But I think that's like...
No one's hiring a 17-year-old mercenary with a gun to protect their...
Thank you.
Yeah, yeah.
He self-employed on that job.
But anyway, the owner of the used car dealership asked for help.
Written house indirectly. Heard that asked for help written house indirectly heard that call
for help and decided to answer it um he gets there and there's this guy and i'm gonna call
him late 20s early 30s and his name is rosenbaum and uh we don't know this part's not on film
but in one way or another written house says hey you take your hands off that car i picture it like marty mcfly and
biff at the i picture under the sea dance it's better for charles heston than planet of the apes
i don't know the sea that well but um get your damn hands up get your hands up me you damn dirty
ape so that's good so anyway written house tells him to stop and uh i think the guy says like you know
f you he doesn't have respect the authority of this 17 year old mercenary dude and uh um i i'm
not sure this part's true he was yelling shoot me brother shoot me brother shoot me brother kind of
but there's a video oh there's a brother he was saying that other word that we're not allowed to say yeah we don't say that one sensitivity or something
and it was funny seeing a wrote the rosenbaum guy yelling at some other white guy that wasn't
even kyle rittenhouse it was just some other guy just yelling shoot me n word shoot me and it's like wait where's this play in so
anyway the rosenbaum starts chasing written bat written house who's running and um the camera
like the video to me isn't super clear but in one way or another written house gets like tripped up
he's the shooter and uh and he gets caught this is by the way during this chase where
he threw the plastic bag at the guy and rittenhouse is getting caught he shoots i think four or five
times i think he got four hits on him um which guy are you talking about rittenhouse shot rosenbaum
this is the first shooting and uh he shot him i think he hit him four times there was a graze on
the forehead a shot in the pelvis that broke it uh a shot in the hand, and like a shot in the back or lungs or something.
But like he hit him a bunch and he killed this first guy.
And to me, whether or not that self-defense is the whole crux of this thing.
I'm trying to go down the middle on this.
I've looked into the law.
So I know North Carolina law. When you get concealed carry, they train you on it. trying to go down the middle on this. I've looked into the law. So I
know North Carolina law, when you get concealed carry, they train you on it. And I read the
Wisconsin law on this. And there are a lot of parallels. It's pretty similar. And so look,
if I like start an aggressive engagement with you and then you take a swing at me, I cannot shoot
you in self-defense. It's a little different, right?
If I'm just casually pumping gas in my car
and you start hitting me,
then I can shoot in self-defense.
But as the guy who initiates it,
that makes it not self-defense anymore.
You know, you might have escalated it,
but that doesn't give me the right to be like,
hey, I feared bodily harm.
He was throwing punches at me.
Like they can't do that.
However, if you run right so i say taylor
you're a big stinky poopoo head taylor starts chasing me and i run and i run then that's reset
that whole thing about me starting it the fact that i'm running like that gets wiped off and
i think you can make an argument that that's what happened. He definitely ran, right? So Rittenhouse is running.
The guy chases him, throws a plastic bag, catches him,
and Koff starts shooting him and kills him.
And therein lies the thing.
Does that reset?
Is it enough?
Is the actions that Rosenbaum did,
throwing a plastic bag at him and yelling
at him and like invading his space and stuff.
Cause he wasn't beating on him yet or anything.
Right.
He was just on his way to maybe did that justify a shooting?
Why was he going to beat on him?
If he has a gun in his hand?
Yeah,
that's he wasn't a clear thinker.
We don't think he was a clear thinker.
So,
so like if you just wipe out everything and say, all right, Kyle was running, he was being chased, and as the guy caught up to him, he started shooting.
Is that a self-defense?
That's the whole question.
And then the rest of them are downstream of that, right?
If the first one's self-defense, let me go to the rest of them.
If the first one's self-defense, the rest of them are, period, according to Woody.
On the other hand, I can't be like, all right, I was doing a school shooting.
I shot one kid.
I'll give you that one.
But after that, everyone started coming after me.
After that, it was self-defense.
People tried to stop me and you know i didn't
know what they were going to do to me i was running from the school i made it to the pre-k
and that's where they caught me right right so these these fifth graders are just raining their
little fist down upon me i was locked and loaded metal jacket the next two the next two are either hey the first one's self-defense the next two is
self-defense or the first one's an active shooter situation the next two we're trying to stop him
that that's the break it's all hinging on the first one and i'm i'm leading towards all self-defense
but it's not as clear cut for me as it might be for other people well it's what we just
said right it's it would i would love to like i feel like most court cases are so fucking boring
this would be a great time to bring back the oj style fucking televised uh court um trial and
we could follow with an la style riot written house can be like trial will definitely be followed by an la style riot if they find him not guilty and i think there
is a a better than good chance that he will be found not guilty because they're charging with
first degree murder i think yeah that's not it was confusing to me yeah i yeah it it depends like like if he if he ends up
with like a weapons charge like that's that's not even a felony which i think is what he's probably
this kid is charged with first degree murder you're saying yeah of them yeah right and and
i don't know if you want to finish woody but the people who they chased him after that initial
shooting that woody's described very well.
And he trips and falls to the ground. And then he's attacked by people. One guy comes and slams
him in the head shoulder area with a, with a skateboard. He gets shot. Another guy comes
with a pistol in his hand, points it at the kid, the kid shoots that guy. And so, and I think
that's it, right? Two kills and a wound i think i was wrong
about three murders yeah so so the um you know the the second two people who attacked him were both
armed with deadly weapons one of them with a firearm and he shot both of them so those aren't
they draw weapons on him yeah one of them weapons but harley i just uh did a slow-mo of what when he's
on the ground if you want to play that one yeah let me check that out yeah now those are the next
two those are the ones that i think you need to look through that uh fork in the road oh that's
him on the ground yeah so in those two if that was the start of it sorry just for time's sake
like the timeline he's already shot a person
at this point yeah that's what i'm saying yeah he's already shot the first guy so depending on
the the fork in the road that you take this is either people trying to stop an active shooter
which i tend to lean against or this is him killing two more people there's no video footage
of the first person being shot there is uh or wait there's no video of the first person being shot there's a video of what leads up to it it's like but it's almost like it runs behind a car
and you can't really see that's why i think he's gonna be found not guilty dude like like okay
i think this guy's gonna get off and some cities are gonna burn well yeah if he gets
and it's not based on like law as much as it is like i don't know intuition i think they're
going to i think they're going to accept a sort of minor plea like he'll plead guilty
and get 120 days house arrest or something like like i think it's going to fall down this no one's
happy are those shots at the end of the video still him or is that someone else shooting somewhere elsewhere or something so in that last video he shoots the guy in the chest
uh and kills the guy that comes and attacks him the skateboard uh he and tries to you watch the
guy with the skateboard swings and then tries to pull the gun from him but the guy has one of those
straps that keeps the gun on your chest then he shoots that guy on the chest he dies and then the other guy comes at him does a fake surrender and then as he's as kyle's gun apparently jammed he came
out with a gun and then kyle shot their written house shot the guy's bicep area that was holding
the gun are you telling me he cleared a malfunction during this that's what i was seeing oh my god yeah i'm watching him do it
this kid's an operator look at him at like 12 i know it's slow moment i like
kyle's idea a sentence this guy has six months of firearm instruction as the teacher
if trump had his way this guy would be be on the fucking Marine recruitment. Those ridiculous
art.
They show what it was like to be in the
Navy. The Navy commercial
when you look. It's like, holy shit, that's
like a hop, skip, and a jump
from being a fucking Halo drop
trooper. Fuck yeah.
We're going to have the power over soon,
I'm sure. I just see the recruiter like,
oh yeah. Just sign right here yeah i remember watching those
commercials and being when i was maybe like 14 and being like damn does everybody get a sword
to wrap up like that 15 minute layout i think it all comes down to
if a guy chases you when you fall while he's chasing
you are we good there to shoot him is that still self-defense doing you a deadly intent sure yeah
i'm sure sure if they're pursuing with deadly intent like if he had a gutter they were trying
to fuck him up no we were on the next two i'm on the first one yeah on the first one what was the
situation with the very first one the he was vandalizing cars and Rittenhouse approached him,
said, you need to stop.
The guy's like, F you.
Suck my dick.
Yeah, yeah.
Starts chasing the Rittenhouse.
Rittenhouse falls, shoots him as he catches up.
Yeah, but there's no video of that.
If someone came to me, and I don't know how the law is but
maybe if someone came to me and pointed a gun at me and i chased them and they killed me
that's self-defense i mean that's not self-defense he If I pointed a gun at you and then you came at me to kill and I shot you, is that self-defense?
Like isn't pointing a gun like a major act of aggression?
So I think you're right.
But the difference between what you described and what happened is the running away.
If I come and point a gun at you and say stop and then that escalates, it's not self-defense.
If I say stop and you're like, fuck you,
and I run away, there's a reset.
And that's in the law.
There's a reset.
Wait, who ran away?
The gunman.
The guy with the gun, Rittenhouse, ran away.
So I said, hey, Carly, you better stop.
And, Harley, you said, I'm still not scared of you.
And I was like, fuck.
And then you ran away? Yeah. And then as I'm running not scared of you and i was like fuck and then you ran
away yeah and then as i'm running away i trip and fall and you catch me and then i do the shooting
so that's different than like just i i initiate the conversation with a gun uh i ran away so it
kind of resets from there i'm running i know why i know why he's charged with first First degree murder That's who he is
Cause he yeah he
I mean there is like and I know
In the past at least I don't know where everyone
Stands still but like I see
Like racism
To an extent where there isn't
Necessarily obvious racism
Okay and I could like
At least gather and it's not
Not something that would ever hold up in court But like Okay. and to get like an assault rifle and head down there to protect,
like I think you're posting your thing as Blue Lives Matter.
That's your profile picture.
So I know you're about police.
Don't you trust in the system that the police can protect it?
Like if Blue Lives Matter, does your assault rifle thrown in the mix mean something
or is that going to be a negative for the police as well like aren't you complicating the job like
at no point did the police ever say we need helpers and you're like blue lives matter so you
have faith in the force so don't go and bring the gun you have faith in the force or you're saying blue
lives matter as a counter post to the other black lives matter out there and you're going down there
with the gun to post up with the gun and like if anyone's gonna fuck around like it's just like
i'm kind of like choked that a 17 year old and a good one too who's going down there to like wash graffiti and shit
also has to bring the assault rifle and think in his head like this kid's ready to pull a trigger
like being ready to pull a trigger is a big deal i think when i pulled the trigger with you kyle
and i was like oh shit like in the woods yeah but you're canadian yeah i know but i looked at
your country's like really special in that sense.
I looked at the definition of vigilante.
I was like, can I use this word?
It seems a little strong, right?
Like a member of a self-appointed group of citizens who undertake law enforcement in their community without legal authority, typically because legal agencies are thought to be inadequate.
But he's like Blue Lives Matter.
That's what I was saying about the Blue Lives Matter.
Does it sound like he thinks they're inadequate?
What did he enroll in?
Some cadet school?
Like, you know, a thing that...
Yeah, he was in like a junior police officer training thing.
Yo, this guy, I believe, just in my heart,
this kid went down there.
In his mind, best case scenario, he's going to body some people.
I think he went down there with that mentality.
Let me expand on that thought, right?
I think that you're not crazy for thinking that.
The argument that you could put forward is like, and this is sort of where the right's coming from, this guy is really passionate about protecting used car dealerships.
That's what he was all about. He did not bring an assault rifle to a protest or riot, if you call it that, because
he wanted to body people. No, no, no, no. He's really passionate about making sure used cars
aren't damaged. That's where his heart lies. And he never wanted to hurt anyone.
He just likes protecting used cars and you're like
man i don't know you have to wonder if he fantasized about killing people you know i don't
think that's something that would fly in court but in my heart it's just the way i see it is like
this guy went down there to fucking pull the trigger and he was ready to do it i think i think
what he's guilty of is being a fucking goober i mean look at this guy's picture first of all he's a little out of date right like
we saw him on that yeah but i like i prefer to use this picture like like i'll use the picture
of trayvon martin i want and i'll use the picture of this guy i want and there's nothing racist about
either thing i just think it's funny to do it and so this guy looks like a goober to me and he's 17
fucking years old i couldn't even fuck this guy if i wanted to it and so this guy looks like a goober to me and he's 17 fucking years old
i couldn't even fuck this guy if i wanted to he's so young right like like that's i don't know
i don't think we should be like i don't think what i'm saying is we can't really get in this
guy's head and be like ah i bet he was thinking this or thinking that fucking 17 year old me
was doing some crazy shit now Now, I will say this.
Well, I wasn't bringing fucking an AR-15 out in public anywhere,
any fucking where, you know, and I had one.
I would have done that.
But I think he's guilty of being a fucking goober.
It's not the time for your country to hype up goobers, though,
for doing anything with an assault rifle because it's always a goober.
I've never, ever looked at a person person like and i'm not going to say like i i will i'm only comparing
it to a school shooter in the sense that it's a young kid ready to pull the trigger and take a
life in that sense regardless of whatever is behind it publicly or in our heads i'm just going
to say i never look at a guy that sets out with the gun and goes out and actually gets and kills people.
I never look at that picture and go, that's a fucking cool ass dude.
It's always a goober.
So I feel like it's bad timing in this world to hype up a goober for killing anyone or doing anything with the gun.
Even if he showed up with the gun, I'd be like, God, someone can get this kid back home.
Why does he even have this gun
so i like send him home like because you're right like like his brain we can't talk about it because
we don't know because literally what you said like you couldn't even fuck him it's not he can't even
make that decision but he took a life you know what i mean like that's that's really crazy that's
another one of the reasons i think he's not guilty as well is like like first of all like he is he a child or not like how old is 17 i can't that i think is a whole other statement
you're right listen if this kid was 22 i i'd say guilty like i don't i'm not about it i i think i
think even of like coming with the skateboard did he ever think that guy was gonna kill you i read
that guy was apparently trying to protect people around is that guy gonna murder you that you shoot him like that like
there's a lot of aspects of it that i would say guilty i shoot the guy with the skateboard i'd
shoot the guy with the skateboard too and i definitely shoot the guy who's standing over me
with a pistol to what was gonna happen if they if they got their hands on him is they were gonna
beat the fucking shit out of him and maybe murder him right there because it wasn't just gonna be
you're right you're right and that's why like he shouldn't have even been
there and it played out fortunately for him but i do sorry i don't think those guys are killing
anyone that night without him being there i don't think anyone is getting killed that night i don't
think anyone can't say that now if you flip that rationale to a rape but who are they gonna who
are these guys gonna kill though, though, like that night?
Who is skateboard guy going to smash in the face with a skateboard
if this kid wasn't here with a gun, you know?
I don't think that's fair to say because if you flip that same rationale
to a woman who's dressed scantily outside of a club who gets raped
and you're like, hey, these guys weren't out to rape.
Look what she's wearing.
Look where she is
i don't think you can blame i'm a lot more comfortable with girls walking around in sexy
clothing than i am with 17 year olds with assault rifles so am i you can fuck them tasked he's
tasked like bro fuck fuck the car lot like no life is worth the car lot if you wanted to protect the
car lot cool like did you like just coming with the gun is like it's country's getting a little crazy let me jump in at one he's being tried as adult that's that's
a fact i think it's wrong if we're talking about i think that's wrong too yeah it comes from a
position of how dumb i was until 20 or so so like wait why is he tried as an adult how did they
decide that already is that something they get to appeal i don't know enough about law in wisconsin law anyone 17 year older is treated as an adult it's that simple yeah probably i think it's 16
you can consent in most of the states i went to colorado but wisconsin's looking so the other
thing i wanted to put like we're talking about legally i is the law i'm reading i'm not a lawyer
but i think when we talk about whether it was defense or not
it all starts at the chase like the law uses the term reset right when he when he ran he reset
everything so the whole bring in the gun stop in the car the yelling no no it picks up from this
guy running and being chased and then but this is a story that is a side of the story correct me if i'm
wrong that comes from probably the 17 year old side no because this is a side of the side of
the story that benefits him or like this is someone's side of the story isn't it like the
whole reset aspect who brought that up or did you come up with that in your yourself looking at the
scenario i read the wisconsin law and self-defense that's where it came from so like the who's who's side saying that the
running part the running sounds like it just sounds so weird to me that you point a gun you're
like don't move motherfucker that's like i will move and then you're like i'm sorry and he leaves
that's on video yeah oh so that part we can't even count it means nothing is what you're saying
right so wait because of that like what you're getting it well once he ran away you're
saying this is the all the evidence we've seen before so you're saying that it's reset like it
doesn't even count i'm saying that according to wisconsin law when he runs away all the other
like escalation and approach and stuff is reset right and i it took me a while to go through
it but if i start an argument with you with my gun out it's really hard for me to claim self-defense
even if you threw the first punch right because i kind of started but if i start an argument with
you with my gun out and then run away well there's a reset and now i can claim self-defense because
now in the in law like or just in court how it could play out coming from someone
who knows nothing running away is such a vague term because like by all intents and purposes
we're holding a gun now and you've made a an aggressive point of telling someone something
they said no like a tactical retreat is still within the realm of you can see there's a video of him
he clear he runs away and this dude's chasing him down and he gets back into a corner and he
shoots the guy yeah there's a video you do not chase a kid with an assault rifle no not america
are you insane no you know what there's a lot of pride there if you're a grown-ass man and a kid
points the gun on you you're like mad you're like young man you better fucking pull the trigger and you better not miss
are we that you know what i do no no that's not what i would do i go all right i won't be
fucking up any cars tonight but i i can see there's i can see people there's a lot of pride
there's a lot of pride out there i could imagine someone doing that i would never i'm with you there's a lot of stupidity i don't care if this kid is a child soldier i don't care if he's eight
and he's got an ak and he's like fuck you on the ground i'll be like you want me to pick it up with
my mouth but you know you know maybe dick if it'll be for one me up with that 762 little man
you know people will, though.
You know people out there will be like, fuck you.
Pulled the gun on me?
Boy, you better pull the trigger.
That's not me.
But I just assume some people are like, you point a gun at someone?
There are some people where they're like, you have to kill me now.
Just for the act of doing that. Yeah.
The same type of guy that wants to light a car lot on fire i guess potentially
you know is that what he was doing was this guy lighting the car lot on fire he was that's what
he was working on that but but like i guess you make a good point there that like the guy who's
in the business of lighting car dealerships on fire might not be the most reasonable business in good
because we are talking about about a guy that was killed and he's actually not in the peaceful
protest business we in the car dealership burning business i want to i want them to get a video of
a guy like burning a business or something
like what are you here for and he's like i'm totally apolitical
just watch sports kind of guy i just saw this happening i don't i don't know what this is about
but man i wanted some stuff like i want to see that guy just some guy is like what do you think
about trump what do you think about black lives matter do you think about Black Lives Matter? He's like, that's for the birds, my friend.
I'm lighting cars on fire here.
What do you not understand?
Sir, what are you doing this to say?
Once again, I'm lighting cars on fire.
I'm here to say that our days are crazy flammable.
So you're telling people to buy American.
Is that why you chose Toyota?
No, I'm here to light cars on fire. I'm going to go burn the Chrysler dealers why you chose Toyota No I'm here to like
I'm gonna go burn the Chrysler dealership just to show you
I'm not I'm not playing favorites
There's a lot
That's a huge percentage of the people that are out there
Like they're not out there to send a message
They're out there
Because it's like it's Halloween right
It's time to fucking run around and get some hygiene yeah yeah yeah there's definitely a lot of people like
that i i posted a video here this isn't serious but it came from the same night as that shooting
and let's let's queue up and watch this is just a couple seconds what is this one american news
is it real news it's the way i just linked the josh we'll give it a try we'll see what
yeah i don't it's not a political thing it's just a silly thing so ready set play wouldn't do an
on-camera interview and they haven't told us how many people were struck but eyewitnesses say that
it was definitely a scary sight and i was just going to taco bell and then i hear some gunshots
and i'm like all right i, I guess Taco Bell can wait.
Wouldn't do an on-camera interview.
Why would they put that on the news?
Because Taco Bell's got to wait.
Because Taco Bell's got to wait.
He's stoned in the interview still.
That would be my guess, but yeah.
Either way, I think we're going to be seeing a lot more riots.
I hope so, man.
Yeah, I do.
It's this one.
Because this is what we train for.
No, not anymore.
Are they...
Yeah, that's what I was...
My VR archery, I guess.
I'm not even allowed to have a bow.
So, you know, it seems like most people have forgotten that we're supposed to be locked down.
One little thing that I do find interesting is that it seems like it's mostly the left who are pushing for these mail-in ballots to do voting because the coronavirus but then al sharpton leads that like
gigantic procession of people at the washington monument like 150 000 people or something like
that touching like it's a fucking concert that doesn't mesh for me but what i was really gonna
wanted to talk about was like it seems like everybody forgot that we're supposed to be
locked the fuck down so we can get rid of this goddamn virus
so we can go back to going to the movie theaters. I want to see
Tenet. I want to see Tenet so fucking
bad. It's in 70mm.
It's the new Christopher Nolan movie.
It's like James Bond on crack.
It's in 70mm
here in Atlanta. I could be
going to that shit, but no.
No. Fucking Billy Bob
can't wear a fucking dust mask.
He cuts his yard with one on, but you ask him to go to his favorite place in the world, Walmart, and it's fucking communism all of a sudden.
So I'm locked down.
I'm still locked down.
I don't mind a mask so much.
If I was the only guy wearing a mask, I would feel weird.
But when everyone has a mask on, I kind of like it.
I got to tell you, I have no issue with the mask.
I have a gym I go to, and you have to wear the mask inside.
I bring Lysol wipes with me.
I wipe shit down.
I got no issues with the mask.
And after a certain period of time, I started to get annoyed with the mask and after a certain period of time
I started to get annoyed with the mask
but like
never once have I been able to
bitch about the mask
because the people that bitch about the mask
bitch about it so much
and it's not that bad
but it is fucking annoying
and I can't even sit here and go man
masks are fucking annoying because the people that are bitching about the masks bitch so much i can't even sit here and go man masks are fucking annoying because
the people that are bitching about the masks bitch so much i don't even get to complain
that i'm just like yeah i thought it sucks but you're talking like it's the worst fucking thing
that's ever happened in your entire life i'm just like i hate that it gives me this line on my beard
and that's all i think and i'm like sometimes like it is like i i like you know i want to like
pop it down smell the outside or like breathe a bit better it's muggy it gets muggy in there fast
bro mine smells like hash trust me but like i do not i don't complain about it because people that
complain like i've seen people complain on facebook like every fucking day for so long that
i'm like bro i i honestly fucking like the mask now
because you hate it so much you're bothering me you know i'm okay about it is that it's it's not
even a mask thing discomfort it's like the feeling like that me and everybody else is partaking in
like a retard ritual of nonsense is when you go into a restaurant and it's like you're talking to
your friends with no mask on walking in put the mask on for five seconds as they go here's your
table and then you take the mask off and talk at each other and you're breathing everywhere and
then it's like all right you got to walk nine feet back to the door better put those masks on
it's like what is this orchestrated play we're putting on as though this is there is no
fucking way that's doing anything no i i could i could i i've sat and i thought about it quite a
bit the first thing is like masks help but the number one thing is social distance so once you've
opted to go inside of a restaurant and walk by people or even going outside where you're walking within
six feet, you've already compromised yourself to an extent. And then when you go and you talk to
your friends, you compromise yourself to an extent because who knows who your friend sees
and how they've been compromised. But now that is compounded on top of the other amount.
And then you walk into the restaurant,
like that's another amount.
Luckily the waiter has a mask, so that's not compounded as well.
And even though you're talking at the front,
when you're walking like in the restaurant,
you're not spitting as much everywhere on the restaurant.
You go and you spit all over your table.
You know what I mean?
You spit with your friend and your faces
and you have your little spit bubble, but it's not compounding on everyone else when you're walking through
the common areas or the foyer or when you're standing at the front waiting to get a table
and it's just kind of like imagine if you're in a bathtub if you're if you're in a foot of water
like you could drown in that but you're not going to drown in a foot of water. But then you do another action.
Now you're in three feet of water.
You're not going to drown,
but you have more of a chance of drowning than in one foot of water,
but you're still not going to drown.
And then like every little thing you do,
you're like adding more water to the point where you potentially could or
could not be compromising yourself to a point where like,
now it's like,
now you're gonna
get it so i agree i do some shit i'm like this is fucking dumb you know yeah but i don't i don't
compromise myself like i look at some stories like some people's stories i'm like where are you
where is that place how are you doing this i haven't been i haven't been in inside of a
fucking restaurant in months i i think the last time i went to a restaurant it inside of a fucking restaurant in months.
I think the last time I went to a restaurant, it was like a fucking red lobster.
And it must have been fucking five months ago or something like that.
When I do go to the lake for the acro training, I eat at restaurants.
I got oysters at a red lobster.
That's your last memory of a restaurant.
I eat raw red lobster oysters.
I would take six months off also after that for sure.
Every restaurant in the Lake Hartwell area,
one, the waitresses, they wear the mask below their nose,
which is just pretending to wear a mask, right?
It almost seems like a protest to me.
They make me wear this, but we all know
fuck it.
And then none of the
patrons wear it.
I heard the social distancing Harley
made. I didn't think of that. I just felt
like, well, if we're all going to not wear it
for the 90% of the time here we're eating,
then let's not kid ourselves.
That was my thought process. Where do you eat in Hartwell?
But don't they have limited?
Don't they have limited?
The Mexican place.
What do you eat there?
La Cabana.
Yeah.
Don't they have limited seating though?
Another thing is like the restaurants here.
Okay.
Wait, hold on.
What's the number five before?
It's a beef enchilada and a cheese enchilada, rice and beans.
There's a guy that I fly with who speaks like five languages and just like
knows food and i just say what he's having he orders in mexican oh spanish
every time i go to a restaurant a new restaurant i always ask the waiter i'm like yo like i know
you're fucking eating here for a year what's what held up this whole time like what's the one you
know um i almost always ask the waiter or waitress when i get to a place but i'm also like yo i might
not listen to you also oh yeah i might not listen before you even say it i might not listen actually we have a
special oyster taco well fuck that they're not gonna have that wait what was i i was about to
the restaurants here are limited capacity it's like 30 of people
yeah like it's there's way less people and i actually saw tenant i saw tenant in theaters
do you like um i wore mask and shield combo.
It was reserved seats.
It was just like I saw it in the –
It was like you have the shield and the mask just like I'm in there
and I'm like pulling it down to eat popcorn.
I had the whole row to myself.
The row in front of me was empty.
There was like a couple in the row in front of that.
Yeah, the movie was fucking sick.
It was cool as hell.
It was like just fucking cool. I saw a guy in welding
masks the other day.
He's got like the electric one.
Harley, did the movie theater ask
for the shield? Did you come up with that on your own? Did other
people have shields? I have to wear a mask.
They said, wear the mask. They said,
even while you're sitting, wear the mask. You have to keep
the mask on, but they sell you popcorn.
So it's things like that where I'm like, what are the rules?
This is why people get mad.
There are no rules.
It's just they have to tell you what to do.
Once the lights are out, well, we can't see much.
No, they said the lights are out, but keep the masks on.
But we can't see you, but keep the masks on.
You're sitting still watching the movie.
COVID is based on movement.
They're like raptors.
Are you serious?
I'm like, let's see where this goes.
That's the Tyrannosaurus
we're thinking of?
Oh, shit. I thought it was COVID.
Yeah, I might go.
I might actually, like, fucking mask
and goggle up and fucking go
because I really want to...
I brought Lysol wipes.
I don't want the fucking coronavirus.
I went to a
VIP restaurant. Don't tell me I'm not going to get it.
I went to a VIP theater.
I hope you get it.
Oh, you bitch.
That's one thing.
If I get it,
I'm going to bioweapon you.
I won't get it because i wear exclusively a deep
sea diver and then he can send it to me i'm gonna send my fucking gpu to your house with a with a
with a fake letter that said hey i knew you wanted one of these and i'm gonna have like coughed all
the fuck over it dude so my my friend works i don't want to say where he works i'm gonna
out him but they got a package from mexico
recently with a live tarantula in it yeah and everyone is like well fuck like how are the rest
of these boxes what what are going on it's there's a big safety like i don't know people are shipping
live tarantulas i have to be able to guess where your friend works just by this box if i think
about it i can tell you what kind of job would get a live tarantula i don't think you'll get it but go ahead no it's got it but there can't be
many jobs like that where you would get something like that right scientist well that's what i'm
thinking well i don't think that they are in the business of shipping tarantulas i think that he
sent like some regular shit and there's happened to be a tarantula in the box because it came from
mexico where apparently there are tarantulas so they did not be a tarantula in the box because it came from Mexico where apparently there are tarantulas.
So they did not purchase a tarantula.
It was like, oh, here's our new
masks.
Exactly.
Masks will not protect you from spiders.
And those are way scarier than
Corona.
What are some things
you'd rather do than literally
get injected with the coronavirus?
Oh.
I'd rather do than get injected with the coronavirus.
What are the worst things?
Would you get pepper sprayed every day for a week
rather than the coronavirus?
Hell no.
Wow.
I would do that.
I would take that.
I'll take it too.
I just don't know the long-term effects yet.
Also, it's a surprise.
We'll lose a couple of prize peppers.
Oh, wait.
That makes it way worse.
You don't know when it's coming.
If it comes at 11 p.m. like one day and you've been spending your whole day like this,
and then you burn and you're like, oh, and then at 1 a.m. you're finally getting it've been spending your whole day like this and then you burge and you're like oh
and then at 1 a.m. you're finally getting
the next day boom the double
that's exactly how it goes
god damn it Kyle my backpack was full
I almost just ate some dark off
that changes shit
the fact that it's ice and a ride
you're driving to work you're on the interstate
and an arm just reaches from the back seat
and goes
you asked for this.
No, the week is canceled.
I do nothing.
I just stay home, and I wait.
You lie in bed, and you wait.
Put your VR headset on.
Yeah.
No, that sucks because it gets you in that.
Just waiting for somebody to get it.
And then put it back on.
Okay, how about this?
What's the amount of roaches you would have to consume
or be forced to consume in one sitting
rather than get
Corona? It doesn't have to be injected into you.
It's just some Corona person sneezes in your face.
These are live roaches.
They're live roaches and they're the hissing Madagascar cockroaches.
How many of those are you going to mount down?
Let me get a picture
of the hissing
Madagascar cockroach.
I need to know what this motherfucker looks like.
Can we all watch?
Oh, no.
They're the real deal.
Those are awful.
They're very ugly bugs.
And I guarantee you have to get like six or seven.
It's going to be like a gusher for sure also.
It's a roach.
Like after that first chew, that thing's probably still kicking.
Look how big they are.
Yeah, it's on a hand.
I'm showing everyone.
Oh, oh, oh. This is the picture Kyle's showing. How about this? How about this? probably still how big they are yeah it's on a hand i'm showing everyone oh those are all oh
this is the picture so how about this let's start with five what's crazy there's people there's
people in the world that are like bro those are delicious all right let me ask you this
can i kill them with my hands first oh it has to be a mouth kill oh yeah yeah i'm gonna just
i'm gonna start off with the front i'd rather kill them with my teeth in a weird way like it's a fork and just chow down on it yeah you know what fuck it i i
think i was gonna choose corona but like this is a this is where you get to know yourself
you're a homo sapien bro fuck this bug eat his ass up like our fucking our ancestors would be like what eat that now eat it every it's
true you're right everyone would be juicy cockroaches yeah for five i would definitely
eat the bugs the problem with the corona is there's not enough data out there but you know
you read like oh there's long-term heart problems that go with this there's long-term respiratory
problems that go with this and i'm like fuck even if my respiratory got 10
worse from here going forward i would so much rather eat five bugs yeah the more i'd like and
that was what one of my big concerns was like the respiratory thing but i think that like a lot of
the people who get their lungs fucked from it already had like lung problems and it made them
double susceptible to it you know i'm sure there are people who got fucked but it seems more more common that like people who have lung problems get exacerbated but one of the
comorbidities is obesity and i might have to check the bmi charts again but we're we're threading
that needle oh i'm gonna raise this edge either way am i gonna have a snack tonight i don't know
it really depends on my salt intake and bloating on the next day.
What about the African cave-dwelling spiders that they ate on Fear Factor?
I would rather die from COVID.
I'm going to have to eat.
God, God's not real.
God's not real.
I'd rather everyone gets COVID than me eat that.
Everyone gets COVID. real god's not real that's i'd rather everyone gets covid than me eat that everyone gets covid i would rather every baby that's alive right now exploded than to have to even
touch one of those fucking thing is all exoskeleton there's hardly any even taylor
couldn't get the meat out of that no no i just imagine you sucking the ass of that thing so
hard and we're terrified of it because it's just repugnant i don't even want to look at it right
now but imagine the fear and it's eight little eyes when you pick it up nonchalantly and start
sucking its ass some of us are into that.
Start off gentle. You know, get him into it.
So, Kyle, you're saying
you'd rather have the Rona than eat
the roaches.
Man, if I'm being honest, yeah.
Think about it. We're young and
healthy. We're going to get to cut a couple pounds
on Rona.
Is it a way? on Rona. No.
I don't
want the Corona at all,
but God damn it, I couldn't eat that bug.
I lost eight pounds all muscle.
Exactly.
That's how it goes.
Just dehydrated, pissing, shitting.
That's how the stomach flu was for me.
It'd throw me way off. I feel like i might get pretty sick from eating those bugs too though
if i'm being honest like i can't i couldn't eat those fucking bugs yeah and it's in its
fear factor rules if you throw them up the corona guy gets to come cough in your face
shit ah double j no joe rogan with corona gets to come cough in your face. Yeah. We can get him on the show, baby. He's got a little stepping stool to do it.
Joe, while you're here, I have a little podcast myself.
Oh, that's neat, man.
It's a podcast about DMT.
Oh, you want to come on?
Cool.
We're all Googling.
So when I did DMT, it was pretty cool.
Yeah, I could eat those fucking bugs.
But I would take a lot of pain and humiliation.
I'd get an awful tattoo, or I'd get punched and knocked out,
or I'd fight a UFC fighter.
I'd take the bugs before all those things.
That's a lot more dangerous than Corona.
To be in a full bout with a UFC fighter, you're going to have brain damage things that's a lot more dangerous than corona to have
to be in a full bout with a ufc fighter you're gonna have brain damage he's probably gonna choke
me unconscious right worst scenario he kicks me in the head i'm gonna have it here's the thing
taylor you're not allowed to punch someone in the back of the head so my technique is to walk
backwards towards him and let him choke me it's genius yeah i will offer no resistance
but there are rules protecting you from punching me here just kidney shots until you turn around
you're missing blood for the rest of your life i should have taken the corona
yeah i could i couldn't eat those bugs that that's a real hard uh hard stop for me is is
eating those cockroaches and that spider frankly i i couldn't do either of those things i really
couldn't if i'm being 100 honest yeah i don't want to eat bugs ever have you seen those articles
where it's like in the future we may be eating bugs and it's like no in the future you can eat
bugs you fucking weirdo no i'm not doing that i ate a bug one time because i thought it was funny
i can't remember what kind of bug it was now though it was gross it might have been a spider
honestly i ate a few ants but i think that's the most i ever ate no i ate a big bug because like
oh sorry it was when harley was at my house actually because uh
so you were in your mid-20s yeah i pictured you were in your mid-twenties Yeah, I pictured you were dying But carry on I was a child
This was like eight years ago
27
Yeah, I'm 27 when this happened
I'll wait until Harley gets back
Because I always like to bring this story up when he's around
But yeah, I couldn't eat this fucking
I ate the crawfish at the survival trip
And that's not too far
It's so far Yeah, I'll eat crawfish at the survival trip and that's not too far it's so far oh you think
yeah i'll eat crawfish a little crawdad action yeah but you don't like take the meat out need
it didn't we eat the shell and everything and it's like poop in it yeah me right yeah i think
that i just ate the whole crop that's i you like broke it open and you ate that chunk of meat that was there
oh is that right okay yeah it's like a lobster or a crab or something but i boiled it first
you did which did not really clean anything like it tasted of dirt oh you're supposed to like soak
them in salt water and it makes them shit their guts out yeah it would have been a good step if
we had that available and you need to do that for quite a while if i recall like it's not a
so more than not doing it at all and just more than not at all slightly more than not at all
yeah i just remember woody pulled that thing out and he was like
there's plenty for all of us no i, I didn't say that. That's not a true thing. No.
There's plenty for all of us. It was almost the opposite.
Family feast, boys.
I caught two of these.
It's not even –
I almost just ate it for the show, right?
Like two crawfish doesn't have –
I mean they must be 15 calories each or something.
Like it was nothing.
Yeah.
Dude, you got to eat a macro.
I was worried about some sort of disease
because it came out of that shit water.
It just didn't
look safe,
I think was a big part of it.
But also, there were just two of them.
It was just like...
It was barely even food. How big was it? Was it a nice
big crawdad?
There are no crawdads.
It's like
some big crawdads.
Like this long.
About penis length long.
Just a little more.
But yeah,
that's not a very cool meal at all.
Okay.
Yeah.
Two penis lengths long.
A meal fit for a king.
a real fit for a king i would never pick
crawdads over any other
crustacean to eat no i've never had them
i don't think i've never had crawdad
ever you're not missing there's so
little meat in them
yeah yeah at least
with crab like a nice
a nice big break and there's that
big hunk you pull out it's like that was a winning
piece and so then you can deal with a couple bad breaks but like the crawdad is just a proper crab
i agree like what i the maryland crab where you i think you eat the shell and everything
that's terrible i love those remember on uh remember the wire where the black guy is eating
those crabs with uh mcnulty and
mcnulty's like not eating the guts and the roe and everything and he's like pussy and he reaches
over there and like eats all the the shit out of the middle of the crab he's just he's like
licking his fingers all disgusting the middle of the crab has good meat you just gotta take
that core thing ripping apart you just and then you just have to pick around the sinew.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
The gopher's eyes.
That's the best part.
You got to suck the gopher's eyes out of his head.
No, there's no restaurant.
There's no classy restaurants that serve gopher.
I would disagree with Taylor,
except I've had the experience of his de-shelling technique.
And for me, it's eating at a place fancy enough where they do it for you.
And all of a sudden, it's like, holy smokes.
Like every little piece of this had some.
If I go to like the second knuckle of a crab, look, I get more exercise than food out of working for that little piece of meat.
But if someone does it for you and they get the whole thing out intact,
it's a bite.
And so the tailor gets that, I guess, all the time.
I love that.
That's like, I consistently,
you won't see me miss a break.
I've never missed full length pulling out of that nice section.
What tools do you use?
My hands.
My hands and then a fork.
The only time you need the cracker
is on the claw
because the claw is thick enough and if
you try and like you need in order to get the whole claw out with the little tendril attached
that goes into the claw itself you have to like deftly crack all the sides and then use your
fingers to peel around it but uh probably bitch mode right i'm probably playing this game on
rookie but the scissors are good the scissors man. Dude, I should just eat crab on stream.
That'd be the game I'm best at.
Dude, it would go big.
And I could go for three hours.
You could steam them in that room.
You could...
It's so hot in here already.
Oh, that makes it so much better
now that I'm thinking about it.
Steam crab. Oh, could we get you much better now that I'm thinking about it. Steam crab.
Oh, could we get you a crab costume?
Yes.
You should.
No, no, no.
I know what you need.
Oh, I got it.
We'll call it.
You should consider a window unit for that room.
And you can just have any temperature you want.
Do you say you have one?
No, no, I should.
I mean, there's only like two vents in here.
And for some reason, it doesn't get as good of air circulation as all the other rooms in my house. And so maybe there's only like two vents in here and for some reason it doesn't get
as good of air circulation as the all the other rooms in my house and so maybe there's something
up with this computer and in my case the monitors give off a lot of heat and so you know if the hvac
people didn't uh design for that of course they did then that room is always going to be too hot
with an ac you know whatever it'll cost you eight dollars in electricity for a stream and you'll be
super happy yeah that really is a good idea let's see what a men's fisherman costume i like this
wait start everything over what were you guys saying uh i was taylor's very good at um eating
crab like like uh shelling him out with his hands and everything oh my girlfriend also and we were saying way better i doubt it i'll make her cry and how good i am she'll say why is he here why'd you invite him
and still to eat he's just using his teeth maybe though maybe but not more than her mom though he's
eating the shell they're chinese bro like they don't
fuck around and i got stronger hands they just they just they're fucking they're ready bro
their food the life food is just fucked for me food is different now how long have you been with
her almost a year and like that there's like in my fridge like i opened my fridge up and on my fridge door is a little pouch instant jellyfish
and i'm like what the fuck harley jellyfish in a pouch on the fridge door like next to the ketchup
and i'm like this is just like a chinese thing asian thing whatever yeah queer food
dot blog spot is the first result how's food queer
you and i are about the same age what's the youngest uh girl that you would date
what age uh my girlfriend uh turned 22 in january That's very, that's like when I was bar mitzvahed and I became a man in the Jewish religion, she didn't exist.
So that's like a point of reference.
I'm like, that's crazy.
Now, I used to always joke, which was just like, it's a joke I've had for a long time.
It's always like a dumb joke, but I was always like, Oh,
I was like, my wife's not even born yet.
You know, like, you know, it was just like a dumb pervy joke.
But now I'm like, Oh, now I'm actually like a cliche, like weird.
Like that's weird.
Like, like geez.
Like I'm 35, she's 22.
So it's just like, it's just like there are things.
Was she born yet during your bar mitzvah?
Did you check?
No, she wasn't.
My bar mitzvah, she wasn't born yet.
I was getting my dick sucked, and she didn't even exist.
You got your dick sucked at 13?
That's a very early dick sucking age.
Good for you.
Congratulations.
Yeah.
Being a victim.
She was much older than me.
So I'm glad you think it's cool.
You're not changing my mind.
Yeah, I do.
Kyle, you were asking about the bug you ate. You gonna do that what was that yeah i don't know
harley saw me do it but when he was at my house there was these two annoying bitches who wouldn't
shut the fuck up and they were freaking out because there was a bug like near them on the
floor and i was so fucking annoyed with them being fucking loud and annoying and and just when i saw
that they were like being loud annoying now because of some
stupid fucking bug on the ground that wasn't even that scary i don't know what it was i really don't
remember they were the worst they were the worst ever but yeah they were the worst ever i just
picked the bug up and i and i fucking ate the bug right in front of them just to freak them the
fuck out and that actually shut them up for a little while we were also on a very special level
at that point just like the stakes of everything and what was going on.
It was just like everything was like doing something crazy like that.
Like I,
I,
uh,
even if I was there or if I wasn't,
I wouldn't have remembered it.
Cause I was fucked up at your place.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I was fucked up.
I was so stoned.
I was,
I'm so stoned in that video.
Um,
it's so scared. You didn't cut your knife or face or anything that i've eaten with that broken fucking oh fuck it's funny fucking alex didn't flinch
when i stabbed that knife in the table next to his hand no he didn't kudos to him he really was
muscles glasses like he really was like in that moment times like that i was like oh
shit and he's sitting there and i'm like he must be shut off because like that fucking crap
keep it together i think it was kind of like woody like in vr on the roller coaster like
eyes just closed behind the glasses please i could see his eyes he's like sitting right next
to me and his hands on that table resting and I take that
big fucking Rambo knife
and I had to do it hard because
the worst thing you do when you're doing that is like
stick the knife on the table and it doesn't
stick it looked like a pussy
so I have to do it hard
I'm like
I'm like this far from his hand
and he just goes
I'm just like nice from his hand. And he just goes, huh? I'm just like, nice job.
You fucking killed that.
That was hard as fuck.
I'm so fucked up right now.
Yeah, it's it's I was I was crazy, crazy stoned for that.
I was very much so.
Yeah, I've got a video here that's mildly food related, uh, after Taylor does
his ad, I suppose.
Yes.
Yes.
Let's do these.
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All right.
So this guy is speaking before his town council about an issue that's important to him.
All right, let's pop this up.
He makes strong points.
Are you guys ready?
Yep.
Ready, set, play.
First and then Jane, and then you.
Okay.
I promise I won't take up too much of your time here.
My name is Andrew Christensen.
I live at 1212 Twin Ridge Road.
Lincoln has the opportunity to be a social leader in this country. We have been casually ignoring a
problem that has gotten so out of control that our children are throwing around names and words
without even understanding their true meaning and treating things as though they're normal.
I go into nice family restaurants and I see people throwing this name around and pretending as though everything is just fine. I'm talking about boneless chicken wings
Removed and excuse me. I'm trying to I
Propose that we as a city remove the name boneless wings from our menus and from our arts.
These are our reasons why.
Number one, nothing about boneless chicken wings actually come from the wing of a chicken.
We would be disgusted if a butcher was mislabeling their cuts of meats,
but then we go around pretending as though the breast of the chicken is its wing.
Number two, boneless chicken wings are just chicken tenders, which are already boneless.
I don't go to order boneless tacos. I don't go and order boneless club sandwiches. I don't ask for boneless auto repair. It's just what's expected.
Then number three, we need to raise our children better. Our children are raised being afraid of having bones attached to their meat. That's where meat comes from.
It grows on bones.
We need to teach them that the wing of a chicken is from a chicken, and it's delicious.
I propose that we rename boneless wings in the city of Lincoln.
We can call them buffalo-style chicken tenders.
We can call them wet tenders.
We can call them saucy nugs or trash.
We can take these steps and show
the country where we stand
and that we understand that we've been living
a lie for far too long.
And we know it because we feel it in our bones.
Thank you.
Oh, man.
It cut off.
See, this is the kind of politics I
care about. Hold on on the guy in the um
right in the white shirt the top right says everyone should know this is my son in the
version i saw yeah i was gonna ask you guys i couldn't tell if he was like joking or if it was
son i was like gonna ask the phone oh it's definitely i would assume it's his son but i
you know i wasn't on board until he said saucy nugs.
Oh, when he said trash, he won me over.
Trash too is good.
The logic part wasn't winning me, but
saucy nugs, that's just better.
Yeah, they're completely different, but
I do like them.
I like buffalo chicken
tenders. It's all contingent on what
level of messiness I'm ready to commit to, because
ideally, if I'm
eating alone, I'm always eating regular
wings on the bone. I'm not
eating boneless. The only time I'm eating boneless is
if I'm going out and I don't want to get my face all saucy.
They're just two different meals for me, like
two different wants, kind of. They're
two different things.
I don't want to say that I'm the parallel
of Taylor and Krabs, but I'm good
at eating chicken wings.
And,
uh,
I,
I have like,
I'm just a show off.
Can't show off on a boneless wing,
but if you were to watch me do the little break,
what have you come it out?
And it would come out like I contained that thing into pure bone in one
swipe.
What about where you push the flats down or the drummy down?
Uh,
don't take any talent. They're for bitches. we're talking about wings here taylor all right i'm a flats man also have you ever gone to a
restaurant that first of all always get flats the skin there's more surface area it's flatter it
gets crispier it's better it's just it's better than the drummy and have you guys ever gone to
a restaurant where they offer you drums are for you guys
that's not a that's not a thing you would get in canada that's like that's like a that's the
type of shit that if i had to make a list i would never hit it all one of the reasons like i love
the usa is shit like that like because that's never a question even where i grew up montreal
like you pay for your refill you're like oh, oh, another soda? That's another $1.50.
Even if it's in a cup.
I'm telling you, man.
It's a different world here in the slightest, weirdest ways.
It's like just for you, if you got to move here and live where I live, Taylor,
it would be like Black Mirror because it looks close enough.
It's close enough but wrong also.
No one would ever ask you that.
You don't get that here.
But I love that it's a thing in the States.
And you guys all say flats?
That's what I've always heard.
Yeah, flats.
Drummies or flats.
I love that I like both and I don't have a preference.
But like if someone's like, oh, like let's eat together wings with someone,
I'm always like like do you like the
flats and they're almost always like yeah i'm like okay so just do flats i'll just do this
um the drum is definitely for rookies yeah but i think if you want to like really be like a
fucking giant just eat the cartilage also at the top which i do like i fucking eat the cartilage
like i eat the top like i shoot for that like and i think i
think like a lot of a lot of people and i don't know if you like this too but like i look at like
how some people eat wings and like i judge them a lot because i'm like bro you don't you don't
give a fuck about finishing those wings you're leaving like really leave like 30 percent have
you ever eaten wings with a person that just bites the middle and then bites the middle on the backside and acts like they're fucking done?
That's inferior.
That's a high estrogen move.
I can't even do that trick that Woody is talking about
because of my fake teeth now.
And so now I have to – I'm not even supposed to eat wings.
I'm not supposed to eat ribs or wings,
and I've already paid the piper with a couple small chips.
And so now I have to be that guy who's like really leaving stuff on
there still because i can't get my teeth close enough to the bone just do it i don't see any
dentists around well but i i'm doing it that's the problem we don't see any dentists around
trust me if his dentist were honest, he's like,
yeah, tear into him.
Get after it,
big boy.
I'll time you.
Tom's on the way out.
Taylor, I noticed there's
still rib meat in your teeth.
Hey, hey,
see how fast you get to the center of this tootsie pop.
Go! He's an owl. Oh go oh biting too loud don't worry
don't worry three bites for him right now
it made me i was thinking about we're talking about teeth and biting and have you any of you
guys read sapiens no this is oh another i got another recommendation for you and whoever else
but like completely different from the last one and everyone that i get book recommendations from i'm like yo have you
read sapiens they're always like yes of course i have um it is fucking good what's it about
it's just like mankind 20 million years ago onwards and just like the types of decisions
and things that led to us like one of the things they
say non-fiction and it's uh it's it's like on the latest or like in 2018 whenever it was like the
latest uh discoveries and such so like homo sapiens when we were on planet earth was also at the same
time as other like you know when you see that that thing of like hominids you
see like the evolution yeah instead of it being one after the other like we're actually on earth
with some of those people yeah so like habilis and yeah we had we when we like if if one of us
like from like a hundred and eighty thousand years ago or a hundred thousand years ago like
went into a morgue they wouldn't be able to tell
the difference between us and one of our people from like you know africa a hundred and eighty
thousand years ago but at that same time like neanderthals existed on earth and we don't we
weren't sure if we were compatible enough but apparently we have genetics from different types of hominids that lived in different types
of earth i got my dna uh sequenced i'm uh i'm i'm higher than almost it's an extremely high
percentage of neanderthal dna almost two percent of my dna is neanderthal dna but i feel like i'm
like that too because can't you just like look at us and see and
it's true like apparently like the human code there's like uh it's like it's not a little bit
but it's a significant portion of neanderthal dna and that's not like the only one but what's
crazy is like we kind of like killed off all the other like just like dogs how there's and it talks
about this there's dogs like cocker
spaniels and bulldogs and these dogs can fuck each other and make babies horses and donkeys can
fucking make a baby but that baby can't make other babies but dogs can do it and they say like
there were other homos on the planet other humans that we could have had these interactions with but homo sapiens are so fucking crazy
that like we they're all dead and now we're just like oh just us here we're the chosen people we're
so special and different but really like we weren't we're just the fucking crazy ones we
were the most aggressive and the best at working in groups yes our language was the biggest thing like like
neanderthals could say like lion so we climb up trees or go to high ground or they could say birds
and we can like hit the deck and look up but humans could be like down by the river is a
fuck ton of buffaloes so if you and the boys want to head down there everyone's eating we're getting
winter coats like and we were like we were able to do more and the biggest want to head down there everyone's eating we're getting winter coats like
and we were like we were able to do more and the biggest thing about it and i'm not spoiling
anything these are little things but gossip ends up being the human's biggest strength which was
so weird because i always thought of gossip as a weak thing yeah but gossip being like if i could
go to you guys and be like yo uh k Kyle's actually really good at this and that.
And he's really trustworthy.
I really like him.
And if you guys came to me and you were like, yo, Woody's fucking crazy, man.
I don't know how much we could trust that guy.
The fact that we could all now through speaking, trust Kyle helps us when we meet another band of humans and we start to talk with them.
It's different because like chimpanzees when they meet
each other they're like bro i don't fucking know you you never groomed me i never groomed you i
don't know what if you're fucked up or not am i stronger than you are you stronger than me you
don't know but like humans like like oh yeah this guy killed 50 people you're like whoa hey i ain't
fucking with them like we the fact that could gossip, and that still works today.
Gossip determines who ends up being the president
and who ends up controlling things.
And it's just like it's kind of like fucked up
because we create fiction and believe in it.
The law, we made that up.
That sounds fun.
Anthropology stuff and bullshit classes I took
about human evolution and stuff to fill credits. I don't know how this guy would have a read on neanderthals capacity for
language i don't i don't know but like it was thought that they were just as smart maybe even
a little smarter than us but it wasn't even mainly like a genocidal path of like kill all the
neanderthals it was more just and this plays into the social aspect we were better at creating larger communities and so our birth rates were so
much higher that we effectively bred them out of existence like i think because we're neanderthals
mainly we're located pretty much all white europeans have some admixture in there of
neanderthals but uh yeah that's maybe i'm wrong but that's what i remember is like we were so
much better at forming societies the group thing was oh that's that's what that's maybe i'm wrong but that's what i remember is like we were so much better at forming societies the group thing was that's that's what that's what he said in kids no the
humans are going to have 100 and in 10 generations neanderthals are all but gone it's also because
like they have like neanderthals have a hunting ground and they hunt and forage and that's what
they do so they go out on the hunt and they're actually stronger than us just as smart as us
they don't have the communication though but we could speak
to each other technically but they don't communicate like we do or they didn't but the
problem is we would travel and we would spread and we would go to like their hunting grounds where
they like to go out and work together and hunt whereas like we would go and see like oh all the
all the bison are coming here. So we would make a crazy maze
and like make this complex killing ground.
And we would all go there.
And like when they get rushed into the killing ground,
we would slaughter them like crazy.
Like literally just as efficient as we are today
on a smaller scale.
Like what they killed what they needed.
We were like, bro, we're going to kill them all.
We're going to have winter coats. We're going to have winter coats.
We're going to have spares left over.
We're going to be able to do this and that.
Like, and so their hunting grounds, we just demolished them in like, like very short period
of time and moved on.
And like the one thing that he says in the book that's really fucked up is like, at the
point that we first started, we were smack dab in the middle of the food chain.
So a lion kills a giraffe, kills it, eats it.
Then the hyenas, jackals comes.
They lick the bones clean.
Then we come and we got to be smart.
Our niche was bone marrow.
So we would like crack open the bones.
We're like, we're taking what's left.
But then when we started working together and as a team and stuff, and this is what's fucked up and why we're destroying the world is we went from the middle of the food
chain to the top of the food chain in like 50 000 years and it took the shark like 5 million years
to get there and the fact that we did it so fast the environment hasn't switched or calculated
or like evolved to us so we're beyond where we should be and we're
like sucking it all up because we're not supposed to be here this fast but yeah anyways that's and
i honestly guys i've read like half the book i haven't even finished it yet but i'll finish it
before you again a hundred percent yeah i can't wait to hear how it ends so did you hear about
the three body problem i was gonna bring that up Did you hear about the three-body problem?
I was going to bring that up.
Go ahead.
What?
So the three-body problem has done a big deal with Netflix,
and they're making a big series around it.
Okay, wait.
Fuck, you guys.
The D&D guys that made Game of Thrones,
they're doing three-body problem.
Now, the whole world is like, oh, that sucks they ruined season eight i'm remaining hopeful because they did a great job
with game of thrones when the books existed it wasn't until they had to get away from the source
material but they fucked everything up three body problems done the source material goes to the end
this is what they're good at let's's hope it's good. We'll see.
I'm looking forward to doing that because I could not get into the book because of all the Chinese names.
I hope they Americanize that shit for my ignorant ass.
You know what?
Hearing them is different, though, than seeing it.
Because when I saw it, I was like, I think we spoke about this, but I'm like, oh, a name with an X in it.
You are the X guy in my brain.
That's how I'll read it but then there's like three characters with x's like a c i x which is so alien for my language like and how i read
that whenever a c i x comes up again or an x or a c i'm like fuck is this guy are you the same guy
i need to see faces will help with those names faces yeah but did you do i had a hard time with
game of thrones i had a hard time I did both the first one I did both
then I did audiobooks after that
but I had a hard time with Game of Thrones
I couldn't do audiobooks because he was in prison
and it would have helped a ton
because the reader did accents fabulously
I still don't know their names
they're all Xi, Zhang, Zhu, Zik
and he's like yeah so
and then Li Shijin
went ahead and he kind of turns Chinese when he says names.
Yeah.
But he did accents so well, I almost instantly knew who was talking.
Yeah.
I've started.
I've been reading a lot lately.
I've been doing about two books a week.
And my most recent one that I started on, I don't know what got me into it.
Because I don't know anything about warhammer
40k or at least i didn't four days ago but because it's it seems like it's this massive
fucking narrative that spans tens of thousands of years and it's like a 40 000 i presume 40
40 000 is that really what the is it a reference to the years i think it's i think it's
the year 40 000 or something like that by the end of the story or tour maybe where they are now i
don't know there's video games and books and there's the tabletop game and you never got into
any warhammer games or anything before this i play the uh the the um um the warhammer game that's like elves and uh and and stuff oh vermin tied no that's the
i played the rts game where you're like controlling a whole army but but that's not 40k that's just
regular warhammer where it's like elves and and there's you know there's like bows and arrows
and 40k is like the future that's what that is yeah it's it's super far in the future and like
earth has been
destroyed and you've got like space i don't even know how many races of aliens there are
uh and like the the humans are super xenophobic and uh like the way they travel like from one
point to another they literally like rip a hole in reality itself and on the other side of this hole in reality they
create is all of the nightmares and demons and that that mankind's fears have created since the
dawn of time and uh and there's like psychics and magic and power armor and genocide and i'm about
six or eight hours into this book and so little has happened that I like literally
this is what happened has happened in the first six or eight hours of this book our our main
character introduces himself he leaves his room on the spaceship goes to the bridge talks to two
different characters he says all right there's two other space captains who want to meet with me. We're rivals, but we're not enemies.
We're going to meet on neutral ground on this destroyed spaceship.
They all meet.
They talk.
The meeting is basically one of them going, hey, my home got destroyed by the Imperials.
I want you guys to join me.
Go hit them, and we're going to hit them back.
They're arguing about that a bit, and then the Imperials show up with dozens of ships. So everybody's got to run back to their own ships. They rip this hole
in reality and all the demons start coming out and they're fighting the demons so they can jump
through the hole back into their ship. I don't know if you're following this. Then the Imperials
attack and they have a little like close quarters battle with them. Then they jump through the hole and get back into their ship.
That's six hours of book.
So little,
because every time you meet a new character and you've met about six at this
point,
they get a full backstory.
You get to know everything.
You like that.
I feel like that's a good thing.
If you're digging it,
if you're into the world,
like you're, if you're into that world, like, I feel like I like that. I've read some stuff where I'm. I'm digging it. If you're into that world,
I feel like I like that. I've read some stuff
where I'm like, oh yeah, we can go deeper into this.
They go so fucking deep.
I'm going to find that. It's called The Talent of
Horace.
That's book one.
Warhammer 40K, The Talent of
Horace by Aaron Demski
Bowden.
It is read by this guy named Jonathan Keeble.
He's got an excellent fucking voice.
Do you think I could play
like 10 seconds of the audio of an audio
book so you can hear the narrator?
Yeah.
I've got it.
Listen to this guy's voice.
She said,
and mortal excuses.
I speak of
blacker, deeper betrayals i know but i owe him just as i
owe falcus good for him same voice that's the same guy that's the same guy yeah wow he sounds a lot
like um that one of the guys from 300 uh one of the characters from that movie, like when he's just like doing the main character's voice.
But then like so many of the characters have these really altered voices
that are like really wet or really gravelly or almost mechanical.
And I didn't know anything about Warhammer 40K.
I know that it's like apparently there are
huge amounts of information it's it's like lord of the rings mixed with star wars i don't know
mixed with some sort i don't know it there's so much backstory you said talent of horus the talent
of horus talent of horus yeah i just i was on audible looking for some i like to
listen to books as i'm like lying in bed going to sleep and i'll usually get like an hour and
then as soon as i start drifting off i'll rewind it two or three minutes and go to bed
but um i've done a bunch of books lately i i started on um all the handbook books reading
so well listening reading so much i downloaded at first i was i downloaded spotify
i never had spotify before but i got it because the joe rogan thing and uh and i like spotify a
lot i started listening a lot more music on my bluetooth speaker that i that i've got in my house
and uh there's a lot of free audiobooks on spotify so i just started listening to all the free ones
and then like some of the books that i wanted to read weren't on there so i just
downloaded fucking audible and started buying books at an alarming rate um i haven't gone through
yeah um if you buy many things from amazon like i do sometimes you can choose slower shipping
and get a free audiobook credit and you're wise to use them smartly because some books are like $12.
Maybe just pay for that.
Sometimes books are $45.
Use a credit.
Yeah.
My books have been about $16 to $20 for the most part.
I've been on the Hannibal Lecter books.
I went through Red Dragon in like two or three fucking days.
So fucking good.
Really?
I should read that?
I've been watching Hannibal the show.
Just for jokes. It's been pretty cool. I watching a hannibal the show um just for jokes it's been pretty cool i didn't say how the show amazon and audible are the same company maybe yes well i'm
sure a listener didn't anyway so those go together i didn't know that yeah hannibal the tv show is
really good um the movies are pretty good um so know, you follow the character of Will Graham, who is the FBI special agent, Hannibal Lecter and a few others.
And a lot of the things that happen in the show are referenced in book one.
Book one is Red Dragon.
That's the first Hannibal Lecter content that was ever created.
After that is Silence of the Lambs.
And after that is Hannibal.
And then I think before Hannibal or maybe right after Hannibal,
he did like a prequel that doesn't even count.
But it's really interesting stuff.
Red Dragon is essentially about this guy who's abused his whole childhood.
He had a deformity with like a soft palate thing.
So he's got like a hair lip that's been repaired.
And like he was abused by his grandmother. And now as an adult, he has these hallucinations that the painting, the red dragon and the woman clothed by the sun, he has identified. It's a William Blake painting. If you want to look it up, it's a really cool looking painting, but he thinks that he is turning into the red dragon and he has the red
dragon tattooed to his back.
And in the book,
he's in the movie,
he's played by Ralph fiends who isn't a big imposing guy physically,
but in the book,
this motherfucker has been bodybuilding his whole fucking life.
And he is gigantic.
And,
and he has this,
this psychosis,
this split personality thing almost
where like in his own voice he'll be like please please don't make me do it and the red dragon will
speak and the red dragon is like you will give her to me i want her soul he's like please she's
exactly that's what he sounds like when he does the voice exactly like that and uh and he's like please she's good what you got exactly that's what he sounds like when he does
the voice exactly like that and uh and he's like working out and he's got 280 pounds on a barbell
and he's power cleaning it and pressing it over his head and he he's thinking to himself like
this is the most i've ever done 280 pounds cleaning and pressing which is a lot of weight
to clean up press okay and uh and the red dragon is
mad at him because he won't do a thing so the red red dragon's like go get the scissors and so he's
like he's like stretch it out he's like stretching his own penis out he's putting the the scissors
on his cock and the red dragon's threatening to cut the guy his own dick off because it's in his
head yeah and finally he's crying and he agrees
to like do what the red dragon wants and he puts the scissors away and he's like all right pussy
put on 300 pounds and he's like two eights the most i've ever done put on 300 pounds and he
just like describes what's happening to his body as he cleans and presses 300 pounds
he's just so crazy he's able to do it and but but the way he kills people he he kills entire
families and he arranges the bodies all put shards of mirror in their eyes so they can watch him
like rape the dead mother oh fuck yeah and he bites them the whole time with his already sold.
Now you really do.
Yeah.
He didn't read it for a while.
It's a good fucking book.
Uh,
you know,
the,
it's,
um,
there's,
there's a little bit of firearm stuff that I appreciated.
You know,
he talked,
he,
uh,
he talks about how like,
yeah,
that was the day I lost faith in the 38th.
Now I carry the 44 special and he talks about his gun and he trains his wife to shoot.
And there's,
there's a lot of cool shit in there.
He's got this cool relationship with his wife.
The only thing I complain about is like,
I don't like it when narrators are bad.
Is it,
is it narrator the right word?
The person reading the book.
Oh,
the voice.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I don't know what the right right i think it's usually read by
is usually what it says but if they're not good at doing female voices and there's some like
sensitive subjects being covered it can come off comical because there's a part where he's reading. Will Graham is reading a dead woman's diary.
And she says to her, her husband asks her what she wants for Christmas.
And she goes, you're big cock silly.
And I want your big cock as far in as it'll go.
And he says it with that because this guy, I'm'm gonna play his voice because this guy is the
best reader i've i think i've encountered the guy who reads red dragon he um he has the most
gravelly they were only snapshots a woman followed by three children and a duck
and a dog yeah it's gravelly and deep as fuck. And he's, and
in that voice is, you're
cock silly as far
as you go. You're cock silly.
And he's supposed to be like a 38 year old
housewife who's like flirting with her
husband. Comes
off a little odd.
I've been disliking my
audio books lately. And some of them
are classics.
Like,
um,
do you do the movie Blade Runner?
Yep.
Yeah.
So in book form,
it's something close to Android's dream.
Dream of sheep.
Or Android's dream of electronic sheep. So I,
I,
I,
you like,
did you like Blade Runner?
Hated it.
Fucking hated it.
Wait,
part of it,
but brought it up.
What are we talking about?
Do Android's dream of electric
sheep what am i that's it you hated you hated the book yes i hated the book i hated the narrator
it's funny because the narrator's voice was so gravelly and i'm like the original movie
well the movie's based on the book oh sorry sorry yeah my bad yeah and um did you like that original
movie i saw it so long ago i feel like like I wouldn't tell you what it was.
And the narrator's voice is so gravelly.
I'm like, stop it.
It's like you're pretending to be gravelly or something.
Like, it's over the top.
Remember that thing we read about the girlfriends whose boyfriend pretended to be Batman with everything he said?
That's how my interpretation of this narrator was.
Like, knock it the fuck off. And would you sound like a regular person? It's so gravelly. batman with everything he said that's how my interpretation of this narrator was like knock
it the fuck off and would you sound like a regular person it's so gravelly i am struggling to
comprehend the words that you're trying to tell me and you're a goddamn audiobook reader the fuck
is happening here and uh the story on the road i'm sorry he ruined it he ruined the book experience
didn't need ruining but he did it anyway i i i it? He ruined the book experience? The book didn't need ruining, but he did it anyway.
I've got issues with the book, too.
So, like, the core of the book, if I recall, is there are androids,
and there's a detective whose job is to kind of find androids and kill them
because they don't want them impersonating people around.
He's a Blade Runner.
He's a Blade Runner.
He kills androids and uh the androids are getting better and better at fooling people like him into thinking
that they're humans and there gets to be almost a morality question where it's like yeah if this
guy's that close to human maybe don't kill you know like one of the things they really is they
test the empathy that they run ask a a couple of questions and test empathy.
And there's a name for it, isn't it?
There is a name for the test.
I don't recall it.
But in any case, it's a really popular book and movie that everyone likes.
It seems except me.
And I was also recommended Stephen Fry might read it or write it. it's kind of goofy uh the hitchhiker's guide
to the galaxy oh i only hear amazing things about that you didn't like that i never read it but
all my friends that like are my reading you have to read it it's so good it still holds up and all
that it's why'd you hate it goofy it's a goofy silly thing full of non-sequiturs
it kind of reads like a robin williams routine and i know he and i have a checkered history
but uh you know he would do this like weird stream of consciousness where he got around and said
beazle bop booty dr choo-choo as a joke or something and everyone thinks it's genius except me for some reason
that's what Hitchhiker's Guide
to the Galaxy is. It's just weird
off tangent
no flow
silliness. That's me with Watermelon.
When I got to the end
I don't like Watermelon and everyone loves it.
When I got to the end of that book
I was so happy I didn't have to listen to
anymore. That was my feeling. I'm not done with blade runner yet so like uh did you see blade runner 2049
no i'm saving it for when i could smoke oh so i i actually i love i love film i love you know
the whole cyberpunk i love sci-fi i love android i love everything man i think blade runner and like i
like i just maybe i don't see it yet still and i always think it's on me it's just so fucking
boring yeah and i never liked that movie and i gave it so many chances because i'm like on paper
this is supposed to be for me that's me too yeah blade runner 2049 was fucking awesome and yeah i could have cut out 40 minutes of that movie
but i wouldn't i would keep that extra 40 minutes and i can't wait for you guys when you do decide
to watch it uh because i wonder what you think because it's pretty like you know it's it's either
you love it or hate it and i thought that movie was is there any of it that's up for interpretation
the way that uh the first one is because the the big question is whether
there was i don't think there is i don't know if you've seen there's a thing yeah you're not you're
not sure if he's a thing or not right yeah you don't know if decker is a android or not a
replicant um uh i believe that decker is a replicant and I don't know
there's like three or maybe four
different versions of the film
I've seen two
I've seen at least two maybe three of them
I definitely haven't seen the fucking
Betamax version or the laser
disc version I think it was
but I've seen all the different
endings I prefer
the ending where they leave it sort of up for interpretation
over the one where they literally drive off into the sunset.
But I like it every time I watch it.
I'm very bored, though, right up until the end,
whenever Rutger Hauer, I think is the actor's name,
and Harris and Ford have their big face-off,
and it ends with him giving this Shakespearean fucking performance
while the rain drips over his face.
And he talks about what life is and what existence means
and all this stuff.
Do they spend much time on pets in the movie?
Very little. There's a little bit about the woman's snake the stripper that uh is a replicant and there's and there's a little bit about the owls
um but but these are like i mean let me let me answer harley's question in the book nearly half of the time is devoted to pets
and there is a level of prestige to which pet you have and um some people will have like i don't
know a rat or something like that it's kind of a low prestige pet but at least it's there
other people will have a sheep or a kangaroo which is really fucking
badass and then there are people who have android sheeps and they're kind of posing that would be a
very low t move to have to pretend that you have a sheep and that's what this guy did decker so he
had a sheep out there and he would pretend to feed it every day and he'd go out and such and
but he just dreamed of having a
horse that was what he wanted horse is a high t animal to keep as a pet but he didn't want an
android horse he wanted a real horse and a lot of times he's chasing down these androids to kill him
just knowing that that brings him eight percent closer to his dream of having a horse and i don't
give a fuck a flying fuck about this guy's pets i don't care
if they're androids i don't care if they're horses the whole like his dream of upgrading
the animal that he keeps i can't relate to at all i don't know why it's important i think he
doesn't even like these animals he just wants to impress his i think that it has less to do with
him wanting a pet and more to do with the fact that he is dreaming.
I still don't care.
I feel like I find it to be boring.
Look, I think it's a beautiful movie to look at.
It's way ahead of its time.
I love every single actor in the movie from fucking Rutger Hauer and Harrison Ford to that beautiful woman whose name is escaping me right now.
She plays Elle in Kill Bill.
Her name's fucking – I can't think of it.
And also – who's the other actor?
And Edward James Olmos.
Yeah, she's the main girl.
She's like the hot blonde chick.
No.
Not the main girl from Kill Bill. She's the main girl she's like the hot blonde chick no not the main girl from kill bill she's the main girl she's the one that uma thurman faces off with in the fucking trailer
oh okay yeah i don't know who that lady is either i can't think before it doesn't matter
but i like all the actors and actresses edward james almost is in there you know the commander
adama from battle star galactica a much younger version of him. Is it Daryl Hannan?
Yeah, it is.
That's what I thought the name was.
Yeah.
Yeah.
There are some...
You can go back now.
They have the 4K of Splash,
and you can see a lot more of her naked in that movie.
It's like that PG movie with her and...
Fucking...
Man, what movie names today um tom hanks i'm just looking at splash yeah just google daryl hannah's ass um and the disney version
they edit the super long hair to cover her ass as she's running away it's a crime against you
we watched that last time i was actually on the podcast did we yeah we did ah that's funny okay i was like literally the last time i was here
but you know i uh i just i feel like fundamentally not resonating and i don't know i'm pulling this
out of my ass but not resonating with the whole pet aspect i feel like that's probably the
underlying connecting aspect of whatever him as wanting to be close to a human or something because like wanting a pet
seems like the most straightforward thing for like a robot or an ai that you would be like wait a
second you want a pet that's just a weird request it's a real status symbol through line also to
make him being like like how much of a robot is this guy really, you know, it's a real status,
a symbol in the,
in,
in their world in the future.
And I don't know about the book,
but obviously in the movie,
it's heavily implied that,
that he is himself a replicant,
but yeah,
I don't blame you for not liking that.
I wouldn't blame you if you didn't like that movie.
Cause I have,
I struggle with that.
When it's one of those movies, likeley said like i want to like it like everybody seems to
love this shit but it's it's a little bit slow for me and i like slow movies the shining is my
favorite movie 2001 a space odyssey another yeah i was gonna say i like space odyssey that one also
like when i was younger i was like this sucks but then when i got to like 25 i was like oh okay relax harley slow burn slow burn we're better now but i never got there with blade runner
yeah i know i haven't is your all-time favorite movie yeah what interesting oh the shining yeah
for me it is yeah terminator 2 is mine oh it's really high up there i've been trying to get
taylor to watch it for a while he's never seen it what terminator 2 seen the first one i gotta watch second taylor which is favorite movie
one thing about taylor real quick i'm always like so like like amazed that how how far you can get
making the decisions you've made and being a normal person and not like ever coming across like
a friend or family member or someone that would grab you and be like you have to fucking watch
this now and you're like no i'll read lord of the rings for the fourth time time yeah it's just to
me it's like how did you get so far not doing that it'd be like it's like i had a friend that
never had a big mac and i was like that's so crazy that you made it so far
in life not doing a certain thing.
I've had a Big Mac.
It's almost
on the same level to me.
It's almost like at this point...
Some of these movies, it's inexcusable
that I haven't seen. Terminator 2 is one of them.
I absolutely should have.
You're lucky that you haven't seen Terminator 2.
I get to watch it for the first time. Do you know what I would give to erase Terminator 2 is one of them. I absolutely. You're lucky that you haven't seen Terminator 2. Like you get to watch it for the first time.
Do you know what I would give to erase Terminator 2 from my mind and watch it again for the
first time?
Kyle, 15 years from now, that might just happen all the time.
God, I hope so.
Speaking from experience.
Dude, we watched PKA 140 and I was laughing at all this.
This is on stream.
All the same jokes were killing me.
It's like I never heard them.
Seven and a half years ago.
Terminator 2
is a fucking
masterpiece. I watched that shit for the first
time when I was five years old or something like
that. What other movies have you told me to
watch, Kyle?
I mean, Terminator 2 is on the top of that fucking list
of movies you haven't seen that you need to watch there's some other ones i mean i like event horizon for
as far as like i did watch that i know you've seen shawshank redemption you've spoke about it
haven't you yeah yeah i've seen shawshank redemption i like that a lot i but uh what
was that when you just said kyle sorry uh event horizon and horizon that's got uh sam neill yeah
and lawrence fishburne yeah that was awesome I loved that one
Sam Neill was great in it
that was just a real cool movie I liked it
yeah it's got a cool
back story to the making of it
and it's good space horror
Dune was terrible
that was one of the worst movies I've ever seen in my entire life
but I don't think Dune was ever supposed to be good
or expected to be good
who made that?
It's a very famous director.
Some idiot.
It went
something skis.
It's
a very famous director who directed
it. No, but it got passed around,
didn't it?
Is Dennis Villain... He's doing the new one he did
blade runner 2049 he did that other one with the david lynch it was fucking david lynch he did
didn't he he's ashamed of dune dune dune got real fucked up i've seen dune three or four times i
don't mind it it's not good though it's bad. They're remaking it and it's supposed to be
going all out.
He's one of the best directors out there right now.
For sure. He's really
good.
You'd be better off asking me for
a genre of movies like
horror, action, western.
I watch more horror
movies and thriller movies than anything else.
I rarely watch comedies.
Yeah, I like horror.
Did you like Midsommar?
Which one's that?
That's the one with the Swedish cult.
Swedish cult.
I'll have to see.
The two people, like the old people on the rock.
Fuck, that was good.
No, I haven't seen this.
Is it in Swedish? No, no, no no no it's not it's the guy
that did uh hereditary you've seen that yeah i like hereditary same guy same guy so like same
vibes where you're like yeah um this is uh the there's a documentary on dune and what it was
supposed to be and it's a really sick documentary huh this is a good horror movie.
It's called The Taking of Deborah Logan.
I've scrolled past that a hundred times and maybe I'll watch that one
if I can't fall asleep.
I can never fall asleep right after this show.
It's one of those movies that's really creepy
for like the first,
I'm going to guess it's 90 minutes long.
So it's like really creepy for 65, 75 minutes.
And then the last 15 minutes it's just like oh shit
oh shit oh no you know what i liked and i usually don't usually a horror movie uh like
sequels suck and i know this movie got panned and people hated it i thought sinister 2 was pretty
good it was fine like it was it was fine. It was creepy enough.
It was spooky enough.
I don't mind jump scares.
I feel like it's a little lazy.
If it's all jump scares, then I don't like that because it feels pretty great.
Yeah, they got to be mixed in.
If they sprinkle those in tactfully, jump scares can be real good.
The Babadook, for whatever reason, that really, really fucked me up.
I literally didn't finish it
because I was just like tired of being frightened
you hate that kid eh do you hate that kid
I hated the kid
I hated the kid so much
backseat of that car I was just like god
I hope
Babadook to win
we're going to Lowe's
I'm rolling the windows up and I'm
going lumber shopping hang out in the back
seat for three to five hours that kid would have to go it was good i i think the only the first
time i saw it i was a little disappointed it wasn't scarier because you had talked it up like
it was going to be the baddest one ever but it scared me i watched it a second time and well
this was still a long time ago but it was it was really good the second time too i was i was i it was not long after wings of redemption had moved out of
my house so i was still living in the basement and it was kind of scary down there and i just
remember like and we were high and it all the lights were out and the house was completely quiet
and and it completely blacked out and i just remember that baba duke like crawling opens the
door and starts crawling on the ceiling.
And the woman is under the covers.
And she lowers the covers and looks up.
And it's on the ceiling right above the fucking bed.
And it drops on her.
And that's where I paused it.
I changed it to fucking Netflix.
And I was like, we're done here.
And she's like, thank God.
Oh, no.
Have you seen
Insidious?
Yeah, it's good. I like that one.
Is that the one with
what's that guy's name?
God damn it.
The actor.
I think you'd feel differently about
that whole movie, Kyle, if you got to
the end of it, because they really put a bow on it
and explained things.
It was her depression or some shit like that being manifested you're close or yeah yeah the boy was
good you ever see the boy i thought that was such an under the radar movie that i never heard of and
i caught it on netflix when i've scrolled past you liked it boy it was really like if you don't
know how that ends that's a good one and they have the boy too coming out soon but i would recommend
that because it was one of those ones where like i didn't know it was going to be good and i was
like how have i not seen it i must be shit and i put it on and then i'm like kind of like why
didn't anyone tell me to watch this i like the taking of deborah logan a lot because um essentially
what it is i'm not going to spoil anything but i'm gonna give you like the basic premise uh this
lady has alzheimer's and her daughter is allowing this film crew to come
document her mother's Alzheimer's because the payday that they'll get from allowing this film
crew to come will allow her to help with her mother's assisted living, essentially. And weird
stuff starts happening in the house. And you're viewing through the literal lens of that film
crew who is documenting the alzheimer's and you know in movies when like scary shit starts
happening and you're like i'd have been gone yeah i'd have i'd have fucking left well one of the
guys in the film crew is like fuck this shit fuck Fuck you. Fuck this job.
And fuck all of you, as a matter of fact.
Fuck the old lady.
Fuck this creepy house.
And she's like, how are we going to finish the film without you?
He's like, I don't fucking care.
I'm not dealing with this crazy shit.
He gets in his fucking car.
He leaves.
You never see him again.
And I was like, shit, is this real? See, I, I, is this fucking real?
I love that addition to it because that makes it feel more real. Yeah.
Yeah. One person leaves and then, you know, whoever's in charge of the job.
Well, this makes it doubly important for the rest of us to take it seriously.
Let's buckle that. Like, yeah, it would always happen. It's like,
we're in this foreign cabin. We found,
I found a goat head nailed to a post.
And it's Satan's my friend.
And it's like, wow, that's really interesting.
You want to spend the night?
It's like, no, I don't.
You know another good one?
I was just looking on Google trying to remind myself of all the horrors I've watched.
The Autopsy of Jane Doe.
Have we talked about that one before?
No, I haven't seen that.
That's a real fucking goat it's a creepy i won't spoil anything but a an unidentified female corpse comes in and it's really to a morgue not walked in like brought in on a group i follow yeah and
the mortician and like his son slash assistant start working on it and basically it's just a
series of fucking really creepy there's a couple jump scares but it's mostly like a slow creepy burn it's really good
i liked that one and then have you seen oculus the one with the mirror uh i don't know i usually
skip the ones that have like a premise like that dude haunted mirror sounds retarded right that's
what i thought when i started it because i love chintzy terrible horror movies as much as i do the good ones i just like and i started that one with the idea
in my head of like haunted mirror fucking perfect this is gonna be like uh there's that horror movie
shrooms it's just it's absurd i don't even have that on that zombievers yes it's gonna be like
zombievers and then i get like half an hour in it's like chick's titties and zombie scary
zombievers and then I get like half an hour in and it's like
scary
Oculus is fucking creepy
have you seen
aliens or alien
yeah I've seen both of those I like
you see those but you don't see Terminator 2
I had only seen alien up until
a few months
ago and Kyle harped on alien
aliens and then I was like
gotta watch that loved Loved it.
James Cameron. Alien 1 you
liked and you never saw Aliens 2?
Right. That's so crazy.
Alien is made
by Ridley Scott. Horror.
James Cameron makes Aliens
Alien 2. Action.
James Cameron then right after that
excuse me, right before Aliens
he made Termator too.
That's what got him the,
uh,
aliens gig.
That's why they picked him as the director.
Cause he just had made terminator with Schwarzenegger dude.
It's,
it's Schwarzenegger's best film.
It's excellent fucking action.
Robert Patrick is the bad guy.
Linda Hamilton as like one of the most bad,
legitimate,
bad-ass chicks in a movie ever when
she's doing those fucking pull-ups in her in her fucking she's flipped her fucking hospital bed on
its end and she's doing fucking chin-ups in there is every single scene every single moment it's
perfectly paced everything like like i'm sitting here i'm telling you this is my number one favorite movie.
Living tissue of a metal skeleton.
It's so good. Even that first fucking
scene where Schwarzenegger walks in that biker bar
and every time I hear
that song, it's that
well he taught me how to hurt
real bad and cry myself
to sleep and he walks
into and then I can hear in my head
right now, you see schwarzenegger's
eyes this like it this like red tint over everything with like data and like scanning
reticles and it's like over the music he walks butt naked into this redneck biker bar
it's it's so great it's such an awesome scene every single scene is still amazing like i watch
that movie once every year do not watch the extended cut there's not a damn thing wrong
with it and it's still one of the best movies but just make sure you get the regular terminator 2
because it's just paced so perfectly yep i. I agree 100%. I do like watching the extended cut.
I actually caught a scene in a new extended cut like last year that I never saw
where the T-1000 is in John Connor's bedroom looking through the fish tank
and his eyes get magnified and he goes and he sees like that John goes to the arcade
and he's like in his room on his computer.
I was like, what the fuck?
that john goes to the arcade and he's like in his room on his computer i was like what the fuck this scene have you ever seen the extended scene where they go back in time to where
it's like it's it's before the judgment day but it's after the events of the movie and like
cyberdyne systems is like working on creating the t the the the model T 100 or whatever, like the Schwarzenegger model.
And,
uh,
and one of the scientists is Arnold Schwarzenegger.
I know it's no,
it's not,
it's just his voice,
but I knew you were going to reference this part.
Well,
he starts speaking and he's got,
he's got this awful voice.
And,
and,
and he's like,
he's like the terminators when they like,
I'm a model T-800 with liquid metal.
He's like endoskeleton completely covered by, and he's got like a Southern accent.
They're like, maybe a different voice.
Yeah.
I think it's a Southern accent.
The drill sergeant guy is like, I think we should use a different voice.
And the scientist is like, we could do that.
It's like so cheesy cheesy but it's hilarious
it's really funny like why did they keep that in i wish they kept that in like after the credits
or something it is like one of the best deleted scenes but when they go to that when they go to
that guy and he's like yeah we could change the voice i think so you're like i see what you did yeah i like it yeah that's uh that's by the way i think it's
sam jackson doing the voice of the initial terminator in that scene also that'd be funny
i think that i wonder i wonder if i'm just pulling this out of my high ass maybe but still yeah yeah
good movie you should definitely watch that one but one. But the scariest movies that I've ever seen are both have the same – it's about what I'm afraid of, right?
Like I'm not saying they're the scariest movies ever. They're the movies that scared me the most because of what I'm actually afraid of. I'm afraid of alien abduction.
And as a kid, I used to watch a lot of X-Files and I used to watch a lot of Unsolved Mysteries.
And they would always have these like alien abduction like plot lines.
And it's basically like you're going to be kidnapped and tortured by these horrific looking beings.
And then nobody's going to believe you.
And you'll be and maybe if you're lucky, they'll erase your memory memory and they're just going to keep coming and doing it over and over.
And no one's going to believe you.
Best case scenario.
Everyone thinks you're crazy.
And that was just so terrifying to me.
And the two movies that I watched that like exemplify it perfectly.
One of them fire in the sky.
Yeah.
That fucked me up as a kid,
man.
It's so scary.
It's based on – look, you can do some reading on the backstory of it
and the – what word am I looking for?
Levitic?
Validity?
Validity.
Validity.
The validity of that story.
Validity.
It's based on a true story.
I know that that guy passed several lie detector tests regarding what he
claims happened to him.
And his friends all agree that there was a light in the sky.
He disappeared.
And the authorities were searching for him for several days before he was found again naked.
And that movie is terrifying.
Like seeing what happens to him.
I was thinking about that hot needle thing going to the eye.
Do you remember that?
It was like a hot, spiky needle.
It just freaked me out as a kid.
I was like, yo, these aliens are going to fucking stick needles in my eye
and suck my dick and my ass.
Yeah, they're going to put that weird goo down my throat.
There's a part where he's laying on the table,
and they vacuum seal him to the table with like this latex shit and they sort of cut
holes in the latex as they need to access a body part so at first he's like suffocating because
it's over his face and they like cut a hole in it so and he's like and the alien immediately
takes a handful of what looks like brown jello and just slops it into his mouth and it's just like fuck what is that what's the brown jello
for you know it's just awful shit and then the other one also alien abduction and it's the fourth
kind with mila jovovich um and i don't know something about that fucked me up man fourth
kind i feel like i saw that a long time ago i don't know or maybe i have it
came out around 2006 oh okay i was thinking 2006 but 2009 is around 2006 you got it right
honestly really though 2005 2009 is the exact same shit it scared me real bad um there's a lot of like that thing where they warp people's faces um uh and there's a lot
and uh there's this part it's basically this community i want to say in alaska
where um i think the woman does that like uh memory regression therapy stuff
um for she has all these patients with this same recurring dream oh even talking about is creeping
me out man like they're behind you're talking about yeah their dream is that there's a big
white owl outside a white owl yeah cool yeah man it's creeping me out it's like because i'm
picturing it uh the white owl is outside their bedroom window and they're all lying on her couch
telling her this. She keeps
hearing the same thing.
I won't spoil it.
Don't spoil it because I'm going to watch this one. I'm always looking for more.
Man, again,
there are some people
who think... If you do a real life PKA
and you don't show up outside his window in that,
I'll be so disappointed.
I would love to do that.
You will get yelled at so loud.
He's making a no-gun joke.
That's the only way I would feel safe to do it.
I will yell at you so loud.
We need to set it up, Woody,
so when he runs in the other room to get
you and then you go what's what's he where taylor is you go in there and i'll i'll have run in by
that time what's going on i'm not in an owl outfit my sister did this thing one time where she went
outside my window wearing this like monkey mask. It was a silly mask.
Like if somebody puts it on inside the house in the middle of the day,
it's not still,
I know it's not,
it's not silly at night,
but at night windows down,
blinds are closed and I hear a little tap,
tap,
tap.
And I'm like the fuck. And it really is frightening me because there's
no one has ever tapped on my bedroom window in the existence of me and my bedroom window
so wait did i did i see like the house like where we went we're shooting guns is that like around
where you would have grown up yeah yeah because no one would have fucking tapped on a window there any tapping on
any window someone has taken many steps to get to that window so yeah that would be fucking it's
like two-tenths of a mile just for the fucking bullshit road tap tap tap and i'm freaking out
a little bit and and yeah that's ugly i raised the blind for that one i raised the blind and there
is this monkey going ah and i screamed a manly screen i'm sure a manly scream i sounded like
that guy narrating that book i played earlier i yelled i bellowed what actually happened is i went
and like screamed like the biggest pussy in the world because that's how i scream
and that shook me for a long time i did not think it was funny at all yeah sounds funny
when i was like eight years old we did a slumber party at my house right so
i'm eight it's me and all the other kids around it might have been near halloween but my mother
read us ghost stories right the classics guy with the hook on the car tapping whatever
well i think one involved a wild animal and uh so whatever we read ghost stories we're all on edge
right it's bedtime we're going
to sleep and we're in the living room floor which had a sliding glass door to the backyard
anyway as we're going to sleep just you know little kids chitter chattering and stuff as
they're as they're headed into slumberland there's a tapping on the glass window it's just like a tap
tap we don't know what the fuck is going on my mom is out there
wearing like it wasn't a bear costume it was like a bear skin rug with claws and a head on it and
she's like fucking with the back window and stuff and she got us good it was a good time oh that is
a good i did uh i my brother he uh worked at the summer camp that i went to as a camper
and the guy he was like they
just kind of drive around in a van it rotates all the time but she saw my brother and one of his
friends and i know his friend is like the type the only thing i knew about him is that he would
never watch any scary movies and when i was 13 i thought that was so funny that this like 24 year
old refused to watch scary movies. And I was like,
well,
like,
you know,
some people are just like,
fuck,
like I would never go skydiving or something.
There's certain things.
Some people just don't,
some people will never go into a haunted house.
And as a kid, I couldn't grasp that.
I was like,
that's so silly.
He's like,
he was a big guy also.
I didn't get it.
But one of the campers had a Michael Jackson mask.
So it had like the black hair and the white face.
And I went, when they were looking into the cabins,
I went out of my cabin, put the mask on and went into the van.
It's like a white van.
And I was kind of like, so I'm on the ground between the two seats.
And I'm looking out the front.
And my brother walks out and he's first and he's walking.
And now the light from the cabin, you could kind of see some light in the car so from the front
you could see in the car a little bit but it's dark mostly and it's just one of those big white
vans so it's all dark behind but i'm waiting for them to come my brother's walking and even though
i wanted to scare my brother and just see what would happen the other guy i didn't really get
the good scare because he saw me in the car and even though the rest of the
story is kind of funny whatever nothing was as fascinating to me as seeing someone frozen solid
he took the two steps and he stopped like it's like he was like and i swear to god his face was
like this person to be like laughing and then be like and every fear they've ever had about
monsters is 100 000 true because there's a fucking ghost monster in the car and i'm like waiting like
this and my brother's still walking like five six steps opening the door getting in and this other
guy is like so much so that I forget to scare my brother
because I'm looking at him like mesmerized.
And my brother comes in and he puts his hand down and it goes right on my head.
And like I forgot I was there.
And like just like I was looking.
His hand goes on this like Michael Jackson wig.
So it's like long hair.
And he's like, what the fuck?
And he jumps out.
And it ended up being this monstr monster scare because the other guy's
already frozen staring at me and my brother just touched something he touches he sees him and i'm
kind of like laughing now and i'm like 13 so it's like such a success i'm like trying to like laugh
so instead i'm kind of like whatever it is for my brother he's seeing like i i think it's like over
like he gets it but he's caught up in like this
guy frozen solid and this like creature coming out like no one thought it was me i the mask is
still on so it's kind of like the monkey i don't know when your sister pulled the mask off and you
knew it was her or if you got it right away but this was like a long like this guy got scared for like 15 seconds it wasn't like
a 15 second like
for my brother it was like a big scare too but like it was really mesmerizing and i i just don't
think he ever forgot that like and it was monstr. It wasn't even on my timing.
I just lay there.
That's cool.
I'm trying to think if I really got somebody.
That gif I linked is from one of the movies that I suggested.
I won't tell you which.
I've seen this.
I don't think I have.
I've definitely seen this scene.
Oh, I've seen this also.
Where have I seen this that's
hard to look at man it's hard to look at i love that where is this from i've seen this it's from
the taking of deborah logan oh maybe i have seen that yeah me too i'm thinking i've seen that now
this looks familiar yeah the guy in the wall eaten no it's uh that's that's a woman eating a child head first oh yeah maybe i'll watch
it again whatever this looks really familiar though it's i think i was drunk when i watched
it i would really like another freddie movie no i know we revisited before people we didn't like
doing that um but i think it's i think it's it's been a long
time like enough time i i happen to like and enjoy the movie just one time going to see it
um the the problem child uh the fucking uh child's play i was okay with that movie i think
horror movies i go in i spend 10 bucks i watch this watch this movie, and I leave. And was I like, fuck that?
Or was I like, whoa.
There were some moments there.
I didn't watch the new Child's Play because they changed it from being the soul of a serial killer.
Which was the best part, too.
Which was the best part to it being a defective toy.
But I think, wait, wait.
But I'll be honest with you guys.
I think there was a reason because of if it was trademark issues. it being a defective toy but i think i think wait wait but i'll be honest with you guys i think
there was because of if it was trademark issues it's the guy that made child's play
made child's play and it has chucky in it but there were elements of the story which is why
it was called child's play but there's another one called chucky because they're different like they
split into two kind of like the guy that made child properties he sold off the rights of chucky
and everything or whatever with it so like chucky went which is i don't think they called him chucky
in the newest movie and like the whole chucky trademark is in is held by a different company now so they're
I know what you mean like I know sometimes I'm just like like like I'm you know what I'm kind
of like take the shot if you fucking miss you fucked up and you missed it but like I'm okay
that they try like that Ghostbusters movie where there was all girls I wasn't mad that they made
it I was just like well it sucks man that it was bad and it was bad but like fuck i wasn't i didn't make ghostbusters my movies worse
because this existed you know yeah i mean ghostbusters 2 was bad as well i think you're
disappointed by the chucky movie thing like i've only seen the original chucky but it was
just awful i've seen most of them
didn't watch the remake i re-watched the first chucky movie a lot even growing up as a kid
because i fucking loved the beginning but after that i like the other movies better chucky's a
like a character but i always watched that first one because as a kid i thought the black magic
was so cool and putting himself into the fucking
into the doll was so cool but i wouldn't look at it anymore oh you bumped it and i deleted it i
couldn't i didn't want to look at it anymore it was just repeating but the chucky wasn't scary
enough like i said yeah right like it it's like being attacked
by fucking i don't know gerbils a doll thing right but like like i don't care how psychotic
and murderous this gerbil is i'm going to win i'm huge by comparison the doll didn't have super
strength it was what sneaky i don't know like sneaky it was sneaky and it had a fucking butcher's knife. Yeah.
You get lost in that thing.
Your sneakiness only lasts for one time.
If you go, if you're walking around and you go,
oh, fuck, that thing's walking around. It's got a knife.
I will never be snuck up on by
that thing again. Ever.
I will put enough distance between myself and that
with a one-minute jog
that it's insurmountable for that thing.
You see, the reason that Chucky doesn't frighten me a bit
is the same reason that the alien abduction movies
scare the fucking shit out of me.
Okay.
Because –
I wouldn't believe you.
That's part of why they're scary.
But what I'm getting at is that I'm not afraid of Chucky.
If there was a real Chucky, bring him on.
And there isn't.
The alien thing.
Fuck that doll up.
Some people act like they know, but maybe is a great answer.
Maybe, right? Dolls that come to life
and get murdered. That's just not a thing.
I would snatch Chucky
up and throw him in the oven
and we'd have a good old...
There'd be a great fucking Reddit clip that I'd
record while I melted his ass
alive.
I'd mock him through the windows as he
melted alive.
He's so not scary
that if I grabbed him and in a panic
threw him in my oven and closed it,
I would have the foresight to be like,
I'm going to have melted plastic all
over my oven.
You know what? I'm just going to burn plastic all over my home. It's enormous.
You know what?
I'm just going to burn them in the yard. If it's that level of intersection and a moment of terror,
it's not that scary.
I did always think that, not always,
but once I saw Dream Warriors and knew it was a thing,
I was always like, bro, Freddy, you're not Jason.
Jason, you catch me sleeping, I'm fucking bent backwards in half or you catch
me getting a hand job in the woods i'm getting my head cut off 100 jason's got me but freddy
bro you want to come in here like we're sucking dick together bro
you don't want to come in here you're not coming out the same freddie like this is the battle
my brain you're scarred now oh we're gonna fuck it like i'm gonna make you come
from a wet dream if you ever fucks with me like i'm like i'll be like bro
i'm gonna fuck you so you can't hurt me i I'm like, I'm not going to hurt you. I'll make you come.
You're a question.
You're sexuality.
When you wake up,
you're going to be like,
whoa,
I'm going to fuck you till you love me.
And because if you get busted in your mouth and your dreams,
it happens in real life.
So I'm going to wake up and be like, if you're gay,
you're gay.
If you're real.
Freddie,
like ever since I saw Dream Warriors, I warriors i'm like oh you could do that
he's just better at it than you that's like when you got to go into your dreams you got to start
training you got to be like i got to do the shit that's so fucked up freddie's gonna be
fucked up and yeah like sucking his dick is the craziest thing you could do to freddie
scabby exactly bro it's like a soggy breakfast i bet it i bet his cum tastes
like smoky barbecue sauce it tastes like the back you're winning me over it's like when you
go to sunny's and that one bottle just says smoky of all those like series like the jason the freddie
the one that i like the most and it's not as big as these other two is Hellraiser.
Like,
no pinhead.
Jason.
You're right.
I never have nightmares.
I rarely,
I just never get nightmares.
If I have dreams,
they're just stupid.
You know,
I just,
I think that's why I like called the Cinnabites.
Where is there?
The Cinnabites.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And I watched like all of the of the Hellraiser movies.
I will show you such horrors.
Yeah, Hellraiser's sick.
It's way better than Jason and Freddy.
Freddy sucks.
At least Jason's better than him.
No, I think Freddy's awesome.
Freddy's great, but, like, I'm not scared of Freddy.
Pinhead is the scariest.
Yeah.
Pinhead is...
Jason's going to fucking snap my neck.
Cool, I'm dead.
Freddy's going to be in your dreams,
and you're going to wake up dead, whatever.
You still die in your sleep.
Pinhead comes, I'm like,
oh, now I'm going to be tortured until the end of time.
Yeah.
If you're lucky.
Remember when they pulled the skin off?
Yeah.
With all those hooks, and it's just.
Remember when he twisted the two security
guards together and made them into one being oh with cds the hellraiser movies yes he murdered
the person with all the cds it was the early 90s they were cool that that scene what does he say he comes in and it's like the the uh the priest is there in the church
he has a line there i've got a hot track for you it's such a fucking line
pinhead is crazy and i really really want a hellraiser a new one a good
a good one behind that what's his name the guy that did it. You can still get him. He's still alive, isn't he?
Yeah, he's still alive.
I'm looking for
some of his quotes because I'm thinking
all of his quotes
are awful.
There's a lot of directors.
No tears, please.
It's a waste of good suffering.
We have such
sights to show you.
We'll tear your soul apart.
This isn't for your eyes.
And ah, the suffering.
The sweet, sweet suffering.
Yeah.
Pinhead is one of the scariest things.
I've told the story before, but when I was in the fifth grade,
so I'd have been like 10 or 11
me and my buddy brad brad was going to spend the night at my house and we went to the the video
warehouse you know the local video rental place and my mom was like yeah i get three or they had
one of those deals you know like get three movies for ten dollars or something for like a two day rental. And, uh, I threw hell raiser bloodline in,
into the mix,
which is like the worst hell raiser movie,
but that's irrelevant.
I think it's like the third or fourth one.
They're all so gory and over the top.
I'm entertained by all of them.
Yeah.
Well,
hell raiser bloodline does this thing where they show you how the box was
created.
And,
uh,
they,
they skip through three,
like three different timelines. And, uh, they, they they skip through three like three different timelines and uh they they
go from like renaissance to like to our time to like space and throughout that time the same
bloodline of this of the box creator is trying to destroy the box and end pinhead forever and
we came out of my bedroom when it was time to eat dinner and my
mom had made you know those chef boyardee like boxes of pizza where you get like the dough and
the little sauce can and everything that was my favorite as a kid i love that shit and she had
made that for us and me and brad are sitting there looking at our like slices of chef
for any pizza.
And we're just not touching it.
And she,
and she's like,
what's wrong.
And I was just like,
we watched a scary move.
That was the first one I ever saw.
That was the first one that I saw too.
I made me pursue. And then I went and I saw, razor i saw though that was the first one i ever saw that was the first one that i saw too i made
me pursue and then i went and i saw i rented the first one and got i thought i was like yo i love
horror i love scary i rented the first one and the body being created in the attic yeah it was
such an old style of horror that like i wasn't ready for it yet it was like like shit was still
like colorful and pop like when blood lights came out
it was cool and silly effects this was like so realistic i was like how the fuck did they do this
i'm like how the fuck did they fucking do this man and it's not like pop out scares over the top
it's like there's a lot of scenes in the hellraiser movies where it's like i'm not even i'm not fully
scared right now i have a feeling of like apprehension is wrong it's just it's where it's like i'm not even i'm not fully scared right now i have a feeling of like
apprehension is wrong it's just it's like it's more a disturbing where you're like yeah when
that guy's body amalgamates out of goo and you see the whole thing coming together and it doesn't
amalgamate out of goo it amalgamates out of semen right some some bodily fluid i don't remember
yeah yeah i definitely in the book it's cum. In the movie, I think
it's blood, by the way. I think it's blood.
I think you're right. I think it's blood.
Yeah, the dad cuts his hand on that nail,
and it's like a really nasty nail
tear on his hand.
The dad, coincidentally,
played Garrick
in Star Trek Deep Space Nine.
For all you mega nerds out there,
you'll recognize that
the dad from hellraiser one um who eventually gets his face torn off and worn uh by his brother
at the end and then he kisses his niece like tongue kisses her while wearing her dad's face double incest yeah that's a yahtzee oh you know what the scariest moment for me as a kid ever
watching horror movies and probably because i thought i was so good and this came after
hellraiser i thought i was a fucking pro so i sat in movie rental places trying to find movies that
will scare the shit out of me and i rented one and it was so fucking boring and I didn't think it was
scary.
And the final image of the movie was so fucking scary.
The movie was sleep away camp.
And I don't know.
The 1983 version.
Yeah.
Fuck.
The whole movie is about spoiler alert.
The whole movie's about this this
these two kids a boy and a girl go and one of them dies in this accident early on so you watch
this whole movie where you're watching this little girl and you don't know who the killer is and
people are showing up dead and then you find out at the end of the movie the little girl is the killer but she was a guy
and you see his dick
and they show her standing there
with her hairy dick
his hairy dick and the knife
and this frozen face
that if you could pull up the picture
as a kid it was like it was not even
about anything else it was just this image
why does her face look like that
I watched that movie for the first time a week ago because it's a guy's body with the girl does her face
look like that for eggs bro okay link even for me yeah yeah link um oh yeah So basically she, that face, she is the shy, you can't show that obviously, but
the shy like, you know,
oh, it doesn't look like
you're going to watch it, Kyle. I'll go ahead and spoil it.
It's from 1983. Fuck.
So basically like she's this quiet little girl
the whole time and there's these mysterious
deaths and things occurring and
there's a lot of people that
look like they should be responsible
and there's this one guy this is the last person you expect the entire fucking movie until about
the last 20 minutes and then you're like ah nothing's been wrapped up it's going to be that
creepy ass bitch but yeah that scene at the end it is really scary it gives you a dropping feeling
oh that's a nice tough job she's got there i'm looking at her in a bikini earlier no it's it's
not i know it's not a real dick.
Well, sometimes the things you say and believe make me question.
It's a real male body with the mask on top.
They swap it.
You're going to see there's a picture where it looks more like the girl,
and that's the girl where they do a shot from up top.
And then from there, it goes to the wide and this wide shot
even the face she's making is weird and as a kid then you see the dick and you're like what the
fuck did this mean like you're like what the fuck happened you're like why does she have a dick
you're not thinking that the kid died you're're not connecting these dots. You're just a kid. You're like, whoa, this person's fucked up.
You're kind of like, do I know girls with dicks?
You're like, you're like, she was quiet.
The whole like, it just really, you didn't expect it.
It's always so clear cut.
It's like, it's Freddy Krueger.
And he's like, I'm going to fucking kill you, bitch.
And you're like, and this one, it just shows you this image. And I was just like, me, my friends are like, I'm going to fucking kill you, bitch. And you're like, ha ha. And this one,
it just shows you this image.
And I was just like,
me,
my friends are like,
and it ends in the credits roll.
We were both like,
like we were kind of like abused.
Like we were like sexually assaulted eyes.
Cause you're right.
Cause that movie is tremendously milk toast and not scary for the first one
hour and 27 and a half minutes.
And then the last 35 seconds
you get all that and it's like oh wow they're really
building for a big they're edging
for a come maybe that's too much edging
it's way too much edging
I wouldn't watch the movie but that
last scene is very disturbing
yikes anyway
you guys want to call it a show
yeah anything you want to tell people
about I meant to leave early.
Fuck.
I can't believe I made it to the end there.
I was thinking about it.
I want to make use of the overlays.
Yeah, no.
Just go to YouTube.com slash Harley Moore.
I put up VR content now just in some sort of last-minute pivot for fun.
Or on Instagram at Harley Place.
I put the videos up on IGTV.
Instagram pays now too.
So nice.
So yeah,
go watch there.
And yeah,
and I stream FB dot GG slash Harley more steam.
Taylor,
we're still supposed to stream together once.
Maybe a fall guys.
Oh,
I'm down to do fall guys with you.
Yeah.
I'll,
uh,
I follow you on Twitter.
Teach him how to win, Taylor.
Yes, I did that one.
Thank you.
It was fun. Good talking to you.
Yeah, man, always.
507.