Painkiller Already - PKA 505 w Tucker - Fall Guys, #TaylorsHouse, Netflix Cuties Drama
Episode Date: August 24, 2020...
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pka episode 505 with our guest tucker everybody knows and loves taylor this episode of pk is
brought to you by the national highway traffic safety administration or nitsa smart mouth and
postmates we're going to hear about those awesome establishments and companies later
tucker thanks so much for jumping on feels like it's been a while we don't leave it's not a pre-roll
it usually is it is not oh it is not i i checked
says mid right there i'm on point i'm ready i'm ready i was a little curious how you get the
highway association to sponsor you i don't know but i fucking love it we're safe drivers i love
i love it that's uh that's definitely one of the better ones uh no it's been like four months since
i came on i think the last one was the, was it the 10 year anniversary show
or was it like right after that?
It may have been.
It may have been the 10 year.
And that was.
I remember Harley coming on, so.
Yep.
Yep.
That was it.
So I have been playing,
or I know we've all been in a very gaming mood recently.
Usually I'm, it never lines up.
Usually Kyle's all amped up on a game and i'm like nah
or yeah he's all amped up and i'm like i don't care now we're all amped up albeit on different
games and i've been playing fall guys i got my first win last night only seven hours of play
let's go my first win was pretty proud of myself i did one of 400. Yeah. I was in just one stream.
And they're like, dude, have you won yet?
I got heaps of seconds.
I got heaps of seconds.
I had a ton of seconds, thirds, fourths, fifths.
And then when I finally won, it was just magnifique.
I wanted to try and get a win before that guy Tim the Tat Man.
But by the time I started the stream, he had already won, unfortunately.
Yeah. What an incredibly awesome
i hate the word but like organic uh promotion for not only fall guys which is like the ideal
game to have right now in the quarantine where it's just like mindless fun at all ages like
infuriating and not really balanced at all and that's kind of the magic of it they they fucking
crushed it perfect timing and then tim just being literally awful at the game like it's it is hard if you don't know
who tim the tat man is he's he's a above average gamer like borderline really good at everything
he plays so to have him come in and stumble on a game like fall guys where i know you said you got
your first win yesterday i played solo for the first time and I won my first two games
back to back and then came in second and my third
like it's not hard to win the game.
Well, it's available.
I was stoked after
that one win.
End of the stream after it.
Yeah, me
too. First game
the second game and then well well there's no third but i
didn't even feel like it it was kind of a mercy actually that was the game you won taylor i i saw
the guy behind me trying to catch up but i'm like come on in what i like about the game a lot is
like i'll be so focused like intense like yeah yeah i'm gonna get through i'm in like round three
front four whatever it is and like you're in the middle of the pack closing to the front and then you dive and it says like you know
qualified or whatever and then it will zoot back to a random camera of another player and it's then
it's then when you realize you're playing a bunch of eight and nine year olds that are total half
the people in this game are totally incapable of winning. The controller doesn't fit in their hands.
They're very young children.
And so I'll get a super big high.
I'm like, oh, yeah, first place on round four.
I'm just heating up going into the finals.
And then you see a kid clearly really struggling with the two joystick options.
Yeah.
And so that kind of takes a little bit of the fun out.
Well, we all grew up playing.
We all came from Call of Duty.
And so that kind of takes a little bit of the fun out.
Well, we all grew up like we all came from Call of Duty. And, you know, we like the biggest kind of shit talking we had was like, oh, you're BK random.
You're bad.
You're just like you're you're you're a bot.
You're trash.
But like, you know, giving my mom the controller and having her play a game of Call of Duty.
She was the bot.
But like watching people struggle.
Fall Guys is jump, dive, grab.
That's It's three
buttons and two joysticks.
So to watch when you, Taylor's right,
when you go back to the start and you see somebody
like they can't get over
the first jump in the very
easy game mode of like
I don't know, whatever.
It doesn't matter. There's a game mode where you're supposed to try
and knock a soccer ball like
A and then dive into it against the other people and it's just a big soccer ball and your little
guys are falling trying to hit it last night at one point i was on the yellow team with like six
other people and they're the other teams over there and i'm like all right we're gonna win
this one we've lost all our soccer games so far we won the one after this thankfully but this one
we got blown out yeah i think it was when we were down eight to one that i realized no one on my
team had a functional understanding of what the game was or what was happening.
They were all playing goal, not doing well, or all on forward not playing well.
The team games suck.
The one where you have to steal eggs, fuck that one.
That one's stupid.
Egg scramble sucks.
Tail grab sucks.
I'm convinced that my grab range is limited,
and there's gumbo over there, whatever, like my grab range is limited and there's like tip like gumbo
over there whatever gonna be like grabbing from across the map and shit um yeah i just hope they
i hope they keep adding new game modes to it which i think they will be uh they've been very uh
obviously enamored with the success that they've had free on playstation plus and i can't remember
how much it is on uh pc like 10 bucks eight bucks but like they must be making
a shit ton of money yeah so at the top of it i don't want to interrupt you said people it was
an organic growth game did they not pay big streamers that like sometimes not like go ahead
yeah well no you're right you like you like that usually let's say hyperscape that new ubisoft game
that it's like a battery i think they paid some guys right out of the gate to play it.
They've I mean, I've been paid by every company under the sun to play games on launch.
That's just standard marketing.
Fall guys got announced like at a PAX event a year and a half ago or something.
Maybe it was like 2018.
I remember seeing the booth or seeing when they announced it.
I was like, that game looks like silly fun.
Completely forgot about it until the beta came out.
And I saw it pop up and my friend Eli was like,
yo, we got to play this.
You know, we talked about it like a year ago.
So nobody was paid to play this.
And the whole Tim the Tap Man stunt
was just a perfect storm of like,
everybody's at home.
Tim's really bad at games.
He also is debatably one of the biggest,
if not the biggest personality on Twitch.
So all that kind of culminated to this five, six,
it was a seven-day event where ESPN's writing articles like,
has Tim the Tatman won yet?
When ESPN's writing articles about it, it's got to be, yeah. So he peaked at like 300.
It's got to be a dead sports world.
That's the answer to that one.
Poor ESPN. I saw an ad on TV the other day. yeah so he peaked it's gotta be a dead sports world that's the end of that one yeah poor espn
i was i saw i saw an ad on tv the other day it was for like i don't know whatever the local company
cable company is spectrum or cox or whatever and they were trying to sell their sports package
they're like you're like why they're like two dollars two dollars right that is it well that $2. $2, right? Well, that worked. $2. You get 47 channels of pool and billiard
reruns from 1974.
You're going to love it. You're going to love it.
They got nothing. I love it.
The 97 dart championship? Well, it's just the UK
regional championship.
The NBA and the NHL are both
happening right now, though.
And the MLS, which nobody cares about but me.
Hey, we just got a team.
St. Louis got a team.
So I'll buy a scarf for whatever you do.
Yeah, yeah.
Literally, I have a scarf of LAFC.
I've never worn it, but it's up there just so people know I do care about soccer.
It's funny when half the people I talk to are like, that's a lie.
Maybe 10% of the people I talk to are like, dude, I can't wait to go watch our soccer team.
It's been so long.
I love soccer.
And everyone else is like, we have a team?
Is this a new development?
And I'm like, no, it's been in discussion for about six years.
And like, well, color me shocked.
I'm not going.
I mean, I think soccer is one of the easiest games to get people who don't give a shit about the sport to enjoy their time.
Because the only people that are going to soccer games in the U.S. really want to be at the soccer game in the U.S.
Versus like you go to baseball, you got Timmy, Timmy's mom who hasn't left the house in like four years.
Like there's a whole group of people just for the one guy that's like, I really want to watch the baseball game.
and like for you like like there's a whole group of people just for the one guy that's like i really want to watch the baseball game soccer's cheaper and uh and like the whole crowd aspect of being
involved with the game is like a really participatory particip you participate is the
word that i was trying to i'm totally down to go to a game that sounds like you should i know that
anaheiser bush is going to be like two dollar beers to try and get people out. So that would be a great time.
I'm sold to get soccer.
Fuck soccer.
Raleigh tried to get a women's soccer team,
and the women's soccer team was like,
no, Raleigh, you lose.
You're not good enough.
And I'm like, motherfucker.
We can't get a ladies' soccer team?
The WMLS, yeah, they're pretty strict on who who can get a team even with the women's side of
stuff but yeah i think the only north carolinian team is like the semi-pro wilmington hammerheads
i went to a bunch of their games okay you know it was just like hey they you know pumping out
ladies soccer players probably half the league is from north carolina and we can't get
you're right you're right you're in the tri-state area is disgustingly good at soccer like even when
i was growing up there's something about north carolina and just breeding talented soccer players
um i'm pretty sure pretty sure that oh god i'm not gonna i'm gonna speak i think that one of the
major u.s prospects is from durham um who's playing overseas right now so whatever's going i can't believe you guys didn't get the team
we call ourselves angle area but anyway yeah that's good are are any of the american players
good enough to go fuck with like european leagues or not really christian remember this name you
got i don't know if anybody remembers this dude freddy adieu used
to be like the big yeah he used to be the first american since like landon don he was the young
kid from from the u.s it was gonna break out and and uh yeah i want to add to that when you say
young kid he was like 13 right like he was yeah he was like into puberty but like i he was like
14 when he started getting the national coverage but you're
right like the big thing about him was this young kid is like the he was the american messy kid was
the biggest flop in the history of the sport and a big ego there was like a debate about his birth
certificate because he like people were saying oh he's like 17 instead of 14 but uh this dude christian palisic um is actually incredible he was playing
with uh in the german league with uh this team barisha dortman top of the league he now plays
at chelsea he starts he's i think he's 17 18 but he got the biggest transfer fee so he got bought
for the most money out of any american ever lana donovan fuck them like any of it doesn't
matter so he is verifiably incredible he's the only one we got though at least prominently facing
because we suck to me am i wrong it's i feel like there's a lot of americans that participate in
soccer like up through high school like why don't we produce more good players if we have such a big
participation rate we're good at other sports if i think it's a cultural thing a lot of the countries that are
pushing out like really incredible people it's it's as ingrained as basketball or football like
think about football in texas like that is a lifestyle high school games have thousands of
people watching we don't have any of that for soccer nobody cares it's like if soccer is like the participation sport where people go and play it to fill the rec
um requirement but like we don't have the infrastructure to to like really push people
to be good like what so i i tried out for like the olympic development team i was on the district
team up in maryland like we had travel. You were actually good. Yeah.
I got some scholarship offers for, but like not for good schools.
You have to make the decision.
Like do I want to give up my social life in college to not do this
professionally? And then the nail in the coffin is some kid can grow up and be
like, I have a basketball hoop in my backyard like i can i can
play basketball here practice like you it's harder to do that with soccer and then like if you go to
the mls you make like a hundred grand you go to mb like the league minimum the league minimum is
like what like half a million dollars like go to the nba go to the nfl make sit on the bench and
make 10 times more than you're going to make playing.
A good family friend of mine plays on the Seattle Sounders,
and his league minimum salary was like $55,000.
A lot of pro soccer players around.
Jesus Christ.
Kids, don't become a major league soccer player.
That sounds awful.
That sounds awful.
I like it.
I like it on the table because of the body type.
I'm not sure about this. I like it. I like it on the table because of the body type. I'm not sure about this.
Become an accountant.
But I think that you don't need to be thickly muscled, although you can be.
And you can be, what, 6'6", 6'1", and be a competitive soccer player.
Even smaller.
Wayne Rooney is tiny, man.
You don't even need.
I'm trying to pick an average, right?
There's outliers.
But whatever.
Say 5'10"-6'2", right?
That range exists for a lot of people. to pick an average right like there's outliers but you know whatever say 510 to 6-2 right that
range exists for a lot of people and if you just work hard enough at it maybe it's a possibility
it's cool i think can we agree that out of all the sports that earn money the two that require
no specific body shape or any uh real like endurance conditioning are golf and baseball.
You see some...
Phil Mickelson's out there. He could not run a mile,
I doubt, in under
eight minutes. Absolutely, he couldn't.
He could walk a mile.
Right, but he
is out there making millions
and millions of dollars playing
golf.
There are so many baseball players that are actually just overweight
and they still do just fine for themselves.
I don't know shit about baseball,
but every time I see a picture of that guy Bartolo Colon,
it cracks my shit up.
It cracks my shit up when I see it.
Him and Phil Kessel are the same.
Phil Kessel, he won two Stanley Cups with the Pittsburgh Penguins.
He looks like he should be selling Cups with the Pittsburgh Penguins.
He looks like he should be selling hot dogs at the concession stand.
He looks like he won play for a day contest when he's out there. Not when he's out there.
When he's out there, he's fantastic.
But he has the body of an ice cream man.
You know, that kind of physique.
Are we still on Cologne?
Because I'm showing him to everyone on the street.
Here, I have a video for you um that that
is perfect bartolo cologne hits a home run and you can just look at this he's a pitcher he's
disappointed because now he has to run so far yeah dude we get we got copyrighted last week
for a video of trump with joker face on all right well don't don't play just watch it but like look
at this giant man and then watch him
run around like everybody freaks out because he's a pitcher and look at him just run he's just like
i got a strike for a double for between hockey periods a grandmother put the puck in with the
wood blocking most of the net and the nhl claimed the video you can't like it's a new day yeah
sports are still lame with that.
But yeah,
claim anything with a hockey stick in it.
You try and show sports.
They're not going to be okay,
especially hockey for some reason.
But yeah,
Bartolo Colon here.
He's a lumbering.
Numbers are so down.
And he's a legend.
Yeah.
They're not playing,
but no,
but I do think that they should allow for a little more like
they should allow for clickables
well dude the on the unspoken truth here is that every one of your favorite streaming services
and clipping services came from um uh clipping and and like and streaming um professional sports
just in tv you stream all of these like quick pre-twitch was built on the back of
illegal live streams yeah so like really it's amazing yeah you know so my knowledge of twitch
history is a little different you know what made it big when that guy killed himself are you familiar
with that part of the twitch i know i yeah i i of course i am but i don't think that's i don't think
that was like uh that's what got me on board i'll tell you when i when i heard folks are blowing their heads off on live streamers i would have
five or six monitors going you know i was i was solely responsible for for a surge one day so this
is what i read it could be wrong you know i'm only as good as my sources but so at the time there's
like twitch there's one that starts with a u and i don't think it's you stream is it you stream i don't know anyway the twitch was the big one it wasn't
twitch it was just a tv it was maybe you stream and there were like a couple others and none of
them really distinguished themselves until that dude committed suicide on justin tv you can't buy
that kind of advertising and everyone just started like reporting on that and justin tv became known and it helped them break away from the pack that that's what i thought the history was
i am i am sure that that uh like contributed to it because truthfully i i think that the other
side is team liquid the esports organization signed an exclusive deal with justin tv and
and brought all of i think it was their starcraft or dota they brought all of
their like uh their fan base to justin tv and without that that like the amount of traffic
that that drove convinced the people emmett and all the people that ran justin to be like oh shit
we should just do this for gaming like fuck the because it started off as like a let me live
stream myself 24 77. Like myself.
And no gaming.
But I have no doubt that if somebody offed themselves on Twitch right now, it would be front page and center of every newspaper.
And it probably was back then, too.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Like, you remember Film On?
Oh, yeah.
Yes.
Yeah.
That was like the dark side of Twitch, too.
He's like, I'll pay you 200 bucks to eat that piece of shit in your toilet yeah what did he actually do that he has something called
battle something battle cams is that what it was yeah because he was ended he ended up like
financing all of those like weird cog tournaments with like x jaws and blade flew him out to like
his mansion in the middle of
nowhere oh yeah yeah yeah so you know better than me yeah yeah we did um it was a cod tournament
only as we played was in it which was interesting because he literally didn't use a gun in like one
v one it's a really tall it was like a it was like a buy round He's curiously good with a throwing knife.
He lost, but he didn't get scuffed.
Wasn't that guy Alki David just a fucking weirdo?
I feel like you told a couple stories just one-on-one with him, Woody.
Or maybe it wasn't one-on-one.
You definitely have.
Little conversations with him where you're like, this guy's unhinged.
Yeah, there's some of that for sure.
He's a little unhinged.
He really is a billionaire. I doubted that. I thought. You know sure he's a little unhinged um he really is a billionaire I
doubted that I thought you know how you know how he made his billions though right from the
manufacturing he inherited yeah but his family manufactures I think the bottle caps for coca-cola
is that it's like it's like some really I believe it I'm pretty sure it's tight you know we could
just google because now I'm kind of I'm not very speaking out of math.
And I don't fact check.
Yeah, you're right.
Bottling plants.
Yeah.
Bottling plants.
So so it's just like, yeah, he inherited it.
And then he became this eccentric dude because that film on used to have a live streaming headquarters on Hollywood Boulevard and with like half the lights burnt out and shit.
And I was like, what is that?
Like, what goes on in there?
Nobody's walking into live stream in there like he's a real life billionaire so i thought he built himself as a
billionaire as kind of a marketing thing but in reality he was like a 50 millionaire which is
great yeah but you know the billion is rare air no he's actually a billionaire with the B. 2.4 billion. Yeah. Wow.
We kind of got off the gaming thing.
Sidebarred it anyway.
I was playing some games last night and somebody was like, Woody's visiting the prison
you were at, Kyle.
And I'm like,
he flew over. They're like, no, he landed.
We were trying to
rescue Snow.
It's a rescue mission they're getting snow
okay would you free cam it and go around the prison uh well we we didn't we did manage to
successfully land we didn't take off successfully so poor snow was done but uh and you yeah and now
now you're locked up with him but um you know the chat had these ideas on where they
wanted to go so so i'm dressed up in my like amelia erhart goggles and the scarf and shit
and uh we're going from place to place so it's like where do you want to go find the closest
airport to mount everest you launch and you get there and um the we went to my house we went to
mount everest we went to the pyramids and one of the places island we went to my house. We went to Mount Everest. We went to the pyramids. Did you go to Epstein's Island?
We went to Epstein's Island.
We went to Conway and did a flyby of both Wendy's.
In a pitiful stream.
But they wanted to see Talladega Federal Penitentiary.
They were really into that.
And it turns out it has a
really big like grassy area with no trees that we could land in so we checked that out that was one
of the more successful locations because it looked good epstein's island it doesn't it have a house
with like a gold roof or something yeah it's got a temple on there oh it's sad like that i realized
when i flew over and i'm sure you did when you flew over yeah yeah i'm sure you realized it when
you tried to go to your house or or if you did that but like they basically there's a
house they're great and then they have ai generate what the ai would assume a building would look
like so like my house from where i grew up has like the garage like a garage door a door on the
back side and then another garage on the front like Like, it's just AI generated. My house in Microsoft Flight Simulator is fucking awesome.
It looks like my house.
Wait, really?
Dude, it's really good.
What the fuck?
I feel like I got maybe because mine had a bunch of tree cover or something.
I think it has to do with the density.
So my observation is this.
We'll see if it changes with more.
If the building kind of stands alone, the modeling is really good.
If it's one of many buildings in a neighborhood, they just kind of genericize.
Gotcha.
That makes sense.
Like the prison actually had a bunch of standalone buildings, and they're not normal shapes.
They're not like cookie cutter houses.
I can't even describe it.
Circles with like moon crescents coming off the side from the air.
And it did all of them really well.
That prison looked just like it did in Google Maps.
That game is fantastic.
I've never like I had one of the most fun streams I've ever had.
Just I got a bunch of those little mini like vodkas because they sell them at the grocery store for some reason.
And just got shithoused and started talking to ATC and
trying to fly around. I flew into the hurricane,
which you can do with the live weather
off of Mexico.
I was not expecting to enjoy it as much
as I did. The only downside is there's
no time skip.
That's not the only downside.
No, there's time skip.
My friend was trying to 9-11 the Freedom Tower.
Oh my god.
And they've got a big protective bubble around that thing. What about My friend was trying to 9-11 the Freedom Tower. Oh, my God.
And they've got a big protective bubble around that thing.
What about cowards?
That's fascism.
I'd have programmed them. The original Microsoft Flight Sim advertises you can fly into the World Trade Centers.
Look it up.
1998 Flight Sim, the commercial or the intro video.
He's like, maybe we'll fly into the Twin Towers.
That's it. I'm taking it old school.
Let me try and find it.
I'm going with the 98 version. You know, there's some
purist out there who's like,
who's so excited then tries to fly it in there.
He's like, this sucks back to 98.
They're Patreons, Taylor.
Like every time when you call duty comes out
and you're just like, know what i'm just going
back to cod for that's it's just it's just it's the purest in me that's how they are they just
really want to take out fucking you know i've been trying to hit the white house for the last
20 games and they won't let me going back to 98 yeah i'm gonna finish the job on the pentagon is
what one of them. It was fun.
I'm not sure what I'll do with my next stream.
Like we did a bunch of like 15, 20 minute flights.
And I think that works pretty well at first.
Everyone wants to see these landmarks.
But once you've seen them,
do people want like a just chatting with a flight sim in the background?
That's the most boring part about flight sim.
I'm sorry, not the most boring.
The least enjoyable part for me as a streamer is when you're in the air and there's no danger at all. When I flew to Vegas, I really just wanted to fly to Vegas and see how that would work in a 747 with no training.
It was a mess, but it was great.
in a 747 with no training it was a mess but it was great right like the fun part was getting out of lax taxiing like trying to get out and then trying to land and that was about it the rest of
the time it was just kind of like it was kind of like calming soothing you know you're just like
like a long road drive so i just decided to do a q a i think like media share would be a good idea
but i'm certainly not you know you planes
fly themselves dude hit the autopilot button and just walk away like go make dinner like it's gonna
be a real flight today i yeah so there's um i dream of there's i do this thing in georgia where
i fly my paraglider the trouble is it's a five or six hour drive and i sometimes daydream of having
a plane so i'm like today'm going to simulate that flight.
Like 15 minutes into the actual flying part, I was like, fuck it. I'm going to take a shower.
I'll come back.
Plane's still going.
Day two of the game.
Fuck it.
Did you see what Bruce Green did?
A little bit, yeah they did like the
world's longest flight it was like 16 hours yeah so they ran so they they set up inside of a 747
cockpit like they set up their stream and everything in there and so they streamed from
from the cockpit and by all accounts i watched a little bit here and there looked fun but like
again like the pilots themselves are not doing too much in
the middle of like the 15 hour flight like they're just like everything looks green all right and he
had like he had a couple people to like riff with yeah like doing that alone a 16 hour stream alone
is on autopilot like you guys didn't see the part i saw right so i'm i pop in i think it was after
pkn i'm like i'm gonna see what this
thing's about i'm kind of interested in this game i've been watching trailers for a year
and this is the biggest thing happening right now there's like 15 000 people watching and they're
up there they're it's you know 30 000 feet so they must have been flying for a while
when they realized that they didn't start with enough fuel and they're like they had they started over and
they're like they're they had been going for a while and they're like well i mean i guess we
should just start over and just restart the game and this time when you need one of those it's a
video game can't we call in like a refueling tanker or something do this midair well you can
you can slide the fuel gauge to up and put it at 100 if you want to but yeah you know i i look i forgive
them i discovered that today they didn't know it two days ago like that it was the first night
but uh yeah you can go in there and just i guess you want to do it legit but i mean
i don't get that game i don't get it because it seems like so monotonous but but see i don't get that game. I don't get it because it seems like so monotonous. But see, I don't understand the truck driver simulator games.
Which I also enjoy playing for the same reason that it's funny for me to stream.
But I don't think I'd ever.
You have to really want to get into that mentality of like, I would like to do the full start to end.
Talk to ATC.
Do the plane checkups.
It's very in-depth.
It is not like i want
to drive some trucks today right like i did it for the concept about role-playing yes for a lot of
people and for the stream stuff yeah like role-playing and getting into atc like comms and
you can talk to people like that is what they want they want to feel like you're really doing it the
interesting thing is none of us play Call of Duty that way.
Like
none of us role play Call of Duty
like we're a soldier. We got two bogeys in
Green Top House or whatever the fuck.
We're going to pin down behind a wall and start
telling stories about home or anything.
That's fucking hilarious.
If you went to
God, you found an attic that was safe and talked about how you missed your mom yeah yeah yeah kyle desert storm was years
ago you have this you got it i believe in you you can do it we stay here we're dead
like in cold city we're all jumping off buildings doing fucking 360s but as soon as it's a truck or
a plane we're like putting our pilot's cap on and fucking waving to the invisible stewardess behind
us yeah have you have you seen the um have you seen the people that like role play i can't remember
the name of the game but it's like uh it's like a medieval not medieval like a civil war sim
so like they all have to play an individual person in a unit
and all the mics are on so you have people going like giving pep talks on the line like walking
back and forth and the cannons come and blow them up and they're like in character dying it's like
that's funny to watch but i don't think i could ever get involved i could get into that roleplay
little civil war roleplay i could get into that oh jesus yeah i i could
think of some ideas i'll do it too where's the black face i gotta be one of the famous people
if i can be like one of the famous generals yeah that'd be fun but if i'm just good if i'm the guy
in the patriot that gets his leg blown off no i don't want to be that no i remember that scene
scared me so much i was like they should not be showing this to a bunch of sixth graders right now.
Ostensibly as educational.
Did you guys watch that?
I remember I didn't see it.
No.
The only thing they changed is like, you remember when Mel Gibson jumps on that guy in the creek
and he's just freaking out on him with a hatchet?
My favorite scene.
That was in there the whole
movie was the same except all the blood was slightly browner like lord of the rings style
that was the only only difference in there another reason lord of the rings is able to be so dope is
because they gave the orcs black blood and apparently you can get away with with anything
yeah well i was i've been playing uh code names and a lot which is my favorite word game of all
time i love it code
names yes so um because i haven't heard yeah quickly there's two teams and uh on each team
is a is a spy master and any number of um like um participants who who are on his team you can have
i i think i can have up to like 10 people in there, maybe eight. So you could have like four or five guys that are on each team.
But you've got a bank of cards in the middle of the table.
And to everyone except for the two spy masters, those cards are just all white.
But to us, we can see that some are red for our red team and some are blue for the blue team.
And some are white, which don't mean anything. It just ends your turn if you get your team to select one and then one's like the you're
fucked card if they pick that then it's game over and you lose and you try to give one word clues
uh followed by a numeral that represent how many words out there in that bank your clue is going
for so it's easy to do one you know if the words if the word is out there um ocean then you could just say
c one and they'll be like yeah it's ocean that that's that's a small brain move but if you can
get doubles triples or quads it's a race to see who can get the board clear to their cards first
and it's it might sound simple and maybe even a little boring but it turns into the
it turns into the meanest team game of all time it's a
party game this is the one where there's tricks right so if the words are like dollar peso and
i don't know give me another one one you might say currency but there can be words you don't
want them to say right so if like euros in there then you're fucked you can't use currency it could
be it could be like um so a better example good example but let's say that it's dollar, euro, and yuan.
You might say, money.
But the issue would be that the yuan is a red, and the dollar and the euro are both blue cards.
It's not a real one.
I'm trying to remember.
Yeah, I don't even know, honestly.
Just say yen.
Yen.
Yeah, yen works.
And so if you wanted to pick yen but not dollar or peso,
you might say commies.
You have to find clues that'll –
I see what you're saying.
The board does that often.
There'll be like three synonyms out there.
Not quite synonyms, but three very connected words
like dolphin, fish, and manta ray.
And you want them to pick
dolphin and manta ray, but not fish.
So you've got to come up with a clue that fits that.
Anyway, the end result is that
feelings get hurt and it's really fucking funny.
It's a great time.
That sounds like a good game.
After that game we played somebody was
like let's play trivial pursuit yes you were mentioning this and i'm just like your prediction
is you dominated i'm like oh you want to play trivial pursuit with us like yeah yeah that'll
be fun have have you played a lot well no okay here we go because we play a lot of trivial pursuit so me and my two friends played
against like four of our um patrons i don't remember if it's if it was so you've you've got
your board piece and as you make points the board piece gets little slices in it to represent how
many points you have and uh you're either going for points or six. I think it's six to win a game.
The first game we beat them six to nothing,
which I'd never seen before.
For anyone who isn't familiar with triple pursuit,
it's not like basketball where you can just one, two, three, four, five, six.
Each point represents like three to five correct answers in a row
because you've got to get your board
piece to specific areas of the board and then get that question like i need yellow oh i need
the history square okay we can secure this you've got to bounce around and hit very specific corners
to get a point like the questions are the questions are hard so not in the version we
were playing like some were hard but some of them were easy and that was their hugest complaint like it would roll around to their question and they would have no fucking
clue they would think it was the hardest question ever although we would always answer those and
then we go to ours and they felt like our questions were too easy so we stumped them
i was like i was like you know boys i've never seen a 6-0 before um you guys want to play another
one and my friend's like yeah i got five minutes let's go
so we played them again we and that that game we just went to we're like you know what let's
just go to three three points for the win and we beat them three to nothing they didn't get
any questions right they got questions right but they never scored a point they never scored a
pursuit was super popular in the 80s but it was bullshit
because the questions were all practically age-based you know like who won some 1954
silver screen whatever that you know my mom knows but i it's i would never know that i'm eight like
how can i know that no possible way to know. My parents said that. I remember they had 80s Trivial Pursuit, and it was just a box I never touched.
It was like, this is a game I can't play.
I have no idea what happened in the 80s.
It wasn't there.
80s Trivial Pursuit was like the easy one to me because I was living in it.
That came out in the 80s.
I think what I'm talking about anyway.
But the generic Trivial Pursuit was literally like, it was a of like entertainment questions from the 60s and 70s that none of us yeah i think those types of
games are incredible uh like among us has become a very popular game to stream on twitch it's uh
it's one of the it's a very similar like a clue-esque um whodunit game like the gary mod
game yeah no not gary mod uh That's Trouble in Terrorist Town.
But it's very similar, right?
Oh, yeah, yeah. I thought you meant both.
No, pretty much identical. That and
the board game Secret Hitler, if you've
ever played that. Incredible game.
Is that like Mafia?
I actually created that game.
It's sort of an autobiography
in a game.
It's a really easy game once you learn the rule that Kyle gets to play Hitler every time.
For that game, that's a real board game.
Super fun.
You deal it out, and then it's like one person's Hitler, one person's the chancellor,
and then everybody else is pretty much in the dark and your goal is to enact five five
like
fascist
laws that limit
their job like their ability to fight
back and then their job is to enact
five progressive laws but
nobody knows who anybody is so you're just
trying to tug on the heartstrings behind
it's a good it's I love this yeah
you should definitely practice for my future yeah yeah you know i love it i have one of the not hitler guys and he's just
like he's making good points he's hitler god no we played a good bit of among us but um we played
for like two nights in a row and then and i got
really sick of it and then another friend joined us and he was like oh you've been playing it wrong
the whole fucking time you can't talk you can't talk while you play yeah we didn't know that we
didn't know that because what we would do i'd be like salt doing one of my maintenance tasks and
i'd be like midi's next to me midi's next to me if i die it's midi and so midi would be like, Middy's next to me. Middy's next to me. If I die, it's Middy.
And so Middy would be like,
dude, I'm just walking past.
So like it made it really,
so as the killer,
you had to be like super sneaky
and like run up and hit him.
But it kind of ruins the game
if you're doing that.
Because like sometimes one guy
would just start counting or something.
Like, so you'd know the moment he died.
And like, uh kyle's next
to me one two three four five six seven eight nine ten and if he dies you know his voice would
cut off yeah or sometimes he would he the funniest instance of that though where it backfired though
is my friend was like uh he's next to me he's next to me we're like who and he goes
va there's only one guy in the chat whose name starts with v it's vavity so we immediately call
an emergency meeting we vote everybody votes vavity he dies and then he goes vavity so we immediately call an emergency meeting we vote everybody votes
vavity he dies and then he goes vavity was not the terrorist and imposter and and then vavity
and then midi comes on the mic he goes oh i'm so sorry my microphone came unplugged from my interface
was midi the bad guy did he throw him down there no he's like he was just letting us know that
who was near him in case he died because if he dies he has to stop talking he didn't die
that microphone just came fucking unplugged it was yeah bobby's floating much more fun
when you're playing hide and go seek and you can't see where everybody's hiding like
like yeah yeah we'll go back to it with that new rule set because we were just ruining the game for ourselves
you guys really did
set it up to make it not fun
you said Taylor's Trivial Pursuit
performance was dreadful, was he on the team
that got it? No, Taylor's Codenames
performance was
terrible
Taylor, we should do
Codenames again, actually I want to do
Trivial Pursuit more than Codenames.
Codenames is infinitely more fun.
It is.
Anytime you want to play with it, you're welcome.
I just need to know which Trivial...
The problem with Trivial Pursuit, maybe it's different online,
is that at least when...
You remember when you go up to someone's house
and they'd be like, let's play Trivial Pursuit.
You're like, oh, okay, cool.
And they would dominate because they have that set
and they know the answers. They've played it enough. Is is the online version i assume like it's cycling in so much
shit we got lots of decks there's there's lots of decks because we're using board um what is it
tabletop simulator oh okay we're using tabletop simulator so we've got knockoff versions of
literally every board game you've ever heard of like i don't remember what they're each called
but they like find a you know a bootleg name for everything monopoly isn't monopoly it's rento fortune rento fortune
yeah everything's different fortune i love it yeah yeah i would definitely play one of those
but yeah code names is is one of my all-time favorite games when whenever anyone asks me to
play that i'm like oh yeah oh yeah let's go i gotta play
that i'm i'm gonna write it down because that sounds like the ideal like friday you know you
have just i want to get incessantly mad at my friends who i'm playing this with i'll tell you
what whenever you get into competitive play and you start playing for money you just let me know
and i'll i'll i'll come help you out we're about to start doing that um tag me in brother or i'll
tag you in just gonna make the stream chis and i are in the stream
chis and i are talking about playing against vavity and whatever partner he comes up with
for uh 50 bucks a game and uh and code names and playing 2v2s as soon as vavity finds a partner
that he can trust because it sounds like you're so dominant why would he want to start putting
he's good sir he's good sir i mean it's not that i have an unfair hustle or anything oh no he has a very
good chance of winning we should definitely play he's beaten me before he's beaten me before i mean
the record isn't good you sound like a dad who's like fought his son seven times and won six times
he's like yeah he's beat me before kicked my ass at one time it's not that's not too far from the
truth i don't know.
If we played 10, Vovity would win three, I would say.
Are you going to give him odds?
No, I'm not going to give him odds.
It's straight up money.
Everybody puts in $25, and he's going to Venmo me some of that med student money
or whatever he's doing these days.
That's the other thing.
He's a smart guy.
He's the most educated guy.
No, he's in the military, and he works in a hospital.
He told me what his military rank is, but it's not like if I asked you to name some military ranks, you'd be like, I don't know, private, sergeant, commander.
It's not that.
He's like, I'm a PRT grade four, and I'm just like, I don't know what the fuck that means.
I don't know what the fuck that means, but I'm not in the army.
I don't know. But he's in the the military and he also works in a hospital he's level 22 on call of duty he's a he's a beast at call of duty he was playing
somebody uh 1v1s for 500 um last night what and uh yeah that is high stakes they were playing i'm
he would love to play was it another patron no he was playing
this guy for 500 1v1s and the guy and uh he's winning he's up like 12 they're going to 20 kills
and he's up like 12 to 4 or something and the guy's like hang on a minute you do a thing and
they have to take a little break and the guy turns cheats on turns on fucking tax and then they they
go go go and it's 1919 now
because the guy's literally cheating and Bobby
gets the last kill he wins the thing he's like
haha pay up and the guy's like
oh fuck you
and so the rest of the
night he's getting DDoSed
he came in my stream last night
and told that story in a donation in the
text to speech did the whole thing
yeah the rest of the night he was getting DDoS
so he couldn't play The Forest with us.
He didn't get his 500 bucks, I assume, right?
Oh, no, he did not get his $500.
No, that guy didn't keep his word.
Of course he didn't.
When I heard the beginning of the story, I was...
There's no escrow accounts where they keep,
they both have their 500.
Right, right.
Unless there's an escrow,
then I'm not making any bets with anybody that unless i know
them that's ridiculous woody woody and i need an escrow i think because the democrat party has
officially selected joe biden woody officially selected him as the nominee right now right
what's the bet i want to i want to get involved on this well it's finished now but what happened
was early in the Democratic nomination process,
Kyle said it was going to be Biden or Bernie.
And he said it was such a level of confidence when they were like,
how many people were the Democratic race?
Like, 1,600.
I don't know.
So he got the leading two, but I got the field.
So I was like, I'll take the field against two.
In the same way that if you were to say, like, the Patriots or whoever's good,
I don't know, Green Bay is going to win the football. Hey, you know, I would have taken. And I got the field against two in the same way that if you were to say like the patriots or whoever's good i don't know green bay is going to win the football hey you know i would have
taken i got the field against the patriots i'll take the whole field but i was wrong and now i'm
paying kyle a hundred dollars that's a fair that was a fair luckily woody didn't take my double
luckily woody didn't take my double or nothing that i offered him way back when which was that
that it would be biden Bernie and Trump would win.
Because it's not looking so good for Trump these days.
Yeah, it's not looking too hot.
We'll see.
But we'll see.
October could bring many surprises.
Dude, we'll fucking see.
What are the Vegas odds on Trump and Biden right now?
Because I know it's outrageous whether it was Hillary or not, obviously, but probably not.
I'm pretty sure that i'm so let's
look up the vegas odds i'm going to look up the not that i believe that there are any better but
538 polling so they they have i believe they had biden at a 72 favorite here but that was only going based off of the at the time uh popularity polls and shit for like for
like election day versus where we are right now so that could change okay so yeah it looks like
yeah 72 percent chance yeah biden's a negative 135 trump's plus 115 oh yeah that's interesting
interesting though they they included a lot of people.
Kanye, plus 10,000.
Yeah, but I don't know.
Dude, there isn't qualified for any states.
Makes that a different front.
Mike Pence, plus 8,000.
That's it.
I'm sure that's in the instance that Trump dies before this thing came. That is not the worst.
Maybe put a dollar on that you know like what happened like there is a non
zero percent chance trump does not make it to november i think there's a better chance that
biden doesn't make it or that because because the included thing i don't think trump is going to go
senile in the next three or four months biden could lose his bananas like like what if benign
what if biden goes on one of those debate stages?
And what if Biden
starts melting like a candle?
He just reaches
down the back of his suit pants
and produces a wad
of shit.
Back in the 60s, you couldn't get fresh shit
like this anywhere.
He sort of walks around
with his handful of his own feces,
looking curiously from person to person.
And Trump is backing away in disgust, of course.
He's a germaphobe.
And the moderators are looking at him in pity.
And he's just like, want some brownies?
And he's just walking up to the camera, just this,
want some brownies?
Brownies?
The funniest option, you're right.
It would be him slowly walking
his geriatric old ass towards Trump
with a handful of shit and you know Trump would
absolutely lose it because he is like one of those
Purell, don't touch
me guys. That would be great.
Seeing Trump and Biden struggle to walk quickly
in a circle.
Even better, both have slight inclines down Seeing Trump and Biden struggle to walk quickly in a circle.
Even better,
both have slight inclines down off of the stage so neither one
can get off.
Trump falls and he's crawling away because he's twisted an ankle
and Biden is just walking up behind him
like the living dead with a handful of shit.
A dripping trail
of shit nuggets behind him.
You know, we can all see it.
That would be the right down there.
See the CNN logo.
We'll be right back with Jake Tapper's analysis.
Now you know something you'll say about Trump.
He doesn't get enough fiber.
We know President Biden would have enough fiber in his diet.
For that reason, I think.
You know what, Jake?
I think it was honestly a display of strength and it's showing
that there is no reason for shame in this country we live in trump has shamed us more than anyone
could and for biden to get up there and do something so brave to really show us the shit
that's happening going down i i couldn't applaud it more i couldn't that's exactly right and that's
a really smart cogent take all right back to the yeah just trying to run cover for biden with shit in his hand comes back and it's on his he's got his like uh he's got
he's got a black face but it's shit he's like look at me and that's where they draw the line
that's where they would draw the line like oh when he had the hand pile of shit in his hand i was
co-signing 100 standing up and showing that it's not shameful to be incontinent as an older man.
There's nothing wrong with that.
And it's brave, frankly.
But when he rubbed it on his face and did full blackface in front of.
No, no, I'm sorry.
As he's being carried out, he's like, that bastard in Virginia got away with it.
Why did I do it?
He's like, Trudeau got away with it too.
The Canadians are getting away with all this shit.
Cuts to Kamala Harris and she's
shaking her head in the corner.
I love 1920s comedies. What can
I say?
Some people call me
So that could happen, right?
And then Trump
just runs away with it. I don't know.
What do they do?
That's the weakest, littlest shit I've ever seen. Everybody
wait a second. I can produce something much more impressive,
much larger, much better.
Look at that weak shit.
The best shit.
I had, I wasn't going to say this.
It's embarrassing. It's my problem, not yours.
I had an entire family size
bucket, extra crispy, always extra crispy,
from Kentucky Fried Chicken last night.
Fantastic.
And I'm clogged up like nobody's business.
I took 10 of those fiber gummies.
I was gurgling the whole way up.
You love the people of Kentucky, right?
Yeah.
I love the people of Kentucky.
I fucking love the people of Kentucky.
Wonderful people.
I don't want to ever hear gurgling in the same sentence as fiber gummies is shit.
Yeah, that would okay so okay so uh i don't think
that our wish of biden shitting into his hand on the stage is going to happen what's maybe like
second rung of what we can expect for funny just arguing or is biden gonna debate him are they
gonna debate three times i think the best thing yeah there's this right wing narrative right now
that there aren't debates and that Biden is scared.
There are three debates scheduled.
Well, it's all over my fucking Facebook feed.
These guys are like, Biden won't debate him.
Yeah, he will. They agreed to three debates.
I don't think it's fair to call your Facebook feed right-wing.
Because the right-wing people
who have nooses and hoods on in the street,
they are embarrassed by your Facebook feed.
Dude, they're fucking nuts.
Those people don't represent me. That's just plain ignorance. in the street they are embarrassed by your facebook dude they're fucking nuts those people
don't represent me that's just plain ignorance no son that's not how you tie a noose eight loops
always eight 88 for hail hitler come on god they're embarrassing on woody's face look at that
but yeah no i i so i get bombarded with it from that side that they think there won't be debates
but there are three the first ones one's in September next month.
I think that the most likely outcome here and the best for both candidates would be that Trump makes a stink about not having his preferred moderators handling the debate.
So he pulls out.
And that way we don't get to see Joe Biden or Trump do their very best to put coherent sentences together.
Right.
Trump will not back out.
He loves being the center of attention.
He loves being the center of attention.
That's what he loves.
He's not at his best on a debate stage.
He actually does poorly without a crowd.
And he doesn't want to back out.
He actually wants a fourth debate.
But the Biden people are like, why would we?
We're so far ahead.
We'll just stick with what we agree to. You don't think that he's gonna make you don't think that he's gonna make it as like oh joe wouldn't
accept my rules so let's just have a town hall on fox and like no that's a biden move i think it's
all it's literally not a biden move that he's never done that but i just asked for it the type
of move that i would expect for from biden i what Kyle is saying, yeah, it seems more likely that Biden would do that given that he clearly is less cogent right now.
Whereas Trump, like we're all agreeing, he loves being on stage.
He loves all cameras on him.
That's what he –
In regards to what you think of Trump's debate performance, he thinks it's incredible.
And I know that like if you look at like who won those debates back when he was against Hitler.
That's funny, though.
A little Freudian slip there.
That was good.
Hitler on the brain.
He said the quiet part out loud.
I thought he won those.
Because to me, winning the debate has nothing to do with who can come up with a better plan for the economy.
It's who's funnier and has more digs.
It's the court of public perception.
We've all witnessed throughout the internet that it doesn't matter who's right and wrong.
It's who everyone believes is right and wrong.
You can be factually incorrect.
If we wanted our president to be the guy with the most facts and the and the best plan we wouldn't pick the people that
we pick right we want an entertainer we want someone who could get up there and make us like
them and sell us on an image i think what people wanted was to take a molotov cocktail throw it
into washington dc and see what happened i think there was a big part of like i fucking hate the
republicans i hate
the democrats and trump is someone who's not either one of those and that's that's a big part
of why he won he was this guy from the out he was an outsider absolutely absolutely i bought into it
from time to time i kyle helped me where did they were there like millionaires and billionaires that
met in an island off of georgia maybe uh yeah yeah it was jeffrey epstein's island was it jackal
was the jackal island they went to it was just one of the other many the archipelago of child
molestation i don't know but the portal is i like how the how the media so many big media figures
were also on those flight logs and they'll be like with a straight face like well thank god we got
rid of that one and only child island there and we'll never talk about it again this definitely isn't happening on a larger scale shut up where i was headed with that was
like when these millionaires and billionaires met and decided that they needed to prevent trump from
becoming president it made me like trump more you know like if they hate him then i you know
that's a check in his in his box for me so i think that's how trump won people who just wanted to upset the apple cart
and hope for something better hillary didn't help anybody needs to rehash how why he won
you know like because it's kind of irrelevant and already happened i think that looking forward
to this election i am thrilled that it's coming at the end of 2020 the writers did an incredible
job it's like the election arc is going to be
bigger than anybody ever.
You don't just introduce murder
hornets in the third scene and then
not mention them for the rest of 2020.
Remember murder
hornets? How we were all worried about murder
hornets? Dude, that shit went away
overnight.
If the murder hornets
spread COVID, that would be the If I have a criticism of the 2020 writers, it's a murder hornet spread covid that would be the if i have a
criticism of the 2020 writers it's the murder hornets for sure well i just found out that the
murder hornets are now carrying the coronavirus beware now we don't have confirmation but we also
have nothing that denies it so we're running with it you know we need clicks. Spider people, bug people,
you have
cried wolf for the last time
with these dangerous bugs.
Africanized bees, scary hornets,
murder hornets,
poisonous centipedes or whatever.
Lyme disease.
Name one person with Lyme disease.
It's made up.
Nobody with it.
I don't know anybody with it nobody i don't know i don't
know anybody with it not a single person and like they they are looking at like climate scientists
and people who are like an economist who are like you know the middle class has had stagnated wages
for 65 years it's not really good cost of living is going up and those bug people get angry that
nobody's taking their shit seriously and so once every few years they make some shit up about scary
bugs they get their little moment in the sun and then when the bugs don't arrive
and so for that reason what what's someone who studies bugs called what's the one who's called
no loser
taylor i would have agreed with that same spiel had it been against virologists in 2019.
How many times did they get a crawl?
What, two people die of Ebola?
Two?
It's fake.
It's fake.
You're right.
SARS.
SARS was bullshit.
Swine flu.
No one died from swine flu, probably.
SARS was not bullshit.
It was bullshit here, but it was not bullshit.
Hey, don't even try to convince me there's other places.
I'm not far off in your life.
Well, I mean, COVID is the form of SARS, so it's real.
That is true.
Sucker.
College boy.
I looked
on Woody's Facebook feed.
False.
There's this guy named Q who's spouting some really awesome stuff.
Dude, the QAnon stuff.
It's so dumb.
It's just boomer bait.
It's so hardcore.
My Facebook feed is loving QAnon.
They think that I haven't done my research.
Now, I've watched QAnon videos.
They're hard to sit through.
But I feel like I need to listen to all the sides.
And I'm just like.
No.
No, you don't.
You don't sit there and listen to the crackhead who's screaming about the sky falling, right?
If you call people who don't agree with you stupid, right?
Like, you know, at least hear them out.
Understand their side. People can have different solutions for problems or different opinions on on where
we should go and not be dumb just just come at it from another angle cool they don't necessarily
even miss a formed you know you can you can believe in like a small government no welfare
type stuff and come from a good place where you want everyone to do well etc anyway but the q anon guys it is
really hard for me not to just feel like well this candy for dumb people this what are the
what are some of the big theories because i only i only see the stuff where it's uh people making
fun of it and it does seem fucking retarded the biggest overarching theme of q anon is that donald
trump has infiltrated the deep state specifically to
take down an international ring of pedophilic people and he is doing it at the behest of
no one in particular he has just been chosen to spearhead taking down this pedophile ring and
don't ask how that completely ignores the whole thing with epstein and pedophiles
he left out cannibals and he didn't mention that these are very powerful pedophiles these are the
people who were ruling the earth until donald trump came into place okay don't you believe it
i don't think that trump is on a message from god to get rid of the pedophile island but like
the whole like there are a group of elites that have outsized influence on our lives that are fucking pedophiles.
Oh, for sure.
It's true.
It's true at this point.
We all know this.
People like children.
All right?
They like fucking them.
They also like caviar and fine vintages of alcohol.
Wait, but I like two of those three things.
Caviar is just pedophile.
I'm making a point here. what would he do about i like that you caught it though you know what i always go back
to is there's just something there must be something there's only two theories that they
can possibly be true and if you have a third please fill in the gap for me okay either a powerful people have other
powerful people have sex with children so they have some dirt on them if they want to be in the
cabal of powerful people pulling strings not buying it or b by that child pussy is the best
pussy you won me over it's definitely here i knew that was your action the only reason i went that
hard with it i i saw that on the horizon miles back oh yeah me too that's how i would do it
it's been four months since i've been on here my nubile brain was waiting for the other
uh the third option which is your nubile ass was waiting for the power to come down and have some.
Yeah, it's either A or B.
You tell me what C is.
If you can think of what C is.
C is that Donald Trump is a god soldier chosen by QAnon to dismantle the pedophilic ring.
Okay, so he's trying to muddy the waters over here.
That has nothing to do with what I'm talking about.
What I'm trying to figure out is why so many people in power are pedophiles i mean it seems like it is an actual honeypot where they lure
people to this island why are so many it's not just politicians it's people in finance it's
people in media it's people in hollywood it's all of these super hyper influential people it's people
from big tech the big tech the people who control our means of discussion anything right now they
all go to
these islands i don't think that like why is there any proof that they went to the island though
i mean on all the flight logs their flight logs that's not true all right so let me let me lay
out the flight lock thing it's not true i've asked you to research this before and if you had you'd
know like bill clinton for example is on the flight logs for lolita express right but it's
him doing like humanitarian trips to ghana nigeria and other bullshit like
that because i have seen the flight logs they put they they took the flight logs and they put them
out saying that it's not there i'm saying that you really believe he was going to just do a
humanitarian thing while on his rape friends plane going to places where you could get kids to then
go back to this island so here's the evidence against bill clinton there is some like eyewitness
testimony some there are girls who said that they saw Bill Clinton do bad shit.
Yeah.
So that is a 22-year-old Epstein victim.
When she was a child.
Is she 22 now?
She's 22 in that picture.
Oh.
Yeah.
And she's also a massage therapist.
He said he was sore and she massaged his neck and her own words were
he was a perfect gentleman he never did anything with me but there is another let me show this to
people so they don't they're an airport as well i notice yeah why are they in an airport because
she's because he's on epstein's plane and they're making a little pit stop in ghana to pick up some
children yeah these people are fucking pedophiles and it's not about bill clinton it's so much bigger than
how about this how about this i ignoring ignoring the let's give plausible deniability to bill
clinton or whomever was borrowing the all right because like i am on a flight log of american
apparel owner because i flew on that guy's jet one time he was not on the jet but i was invited
on there right so like technically i'm in on that flight log if it came out that american apparel owner was a pedophile and was shuttling
people around with that i would be implicated in that but like i really was using it specifically
for a domestic thing yeah i don't think that it's yeah that's fair well go ahead sorry well i was
gonna say but the prevalence and how widespread the,
I guess, understanding of Jeffrey, Jeffrey Epstein's influence in, I guess, the global
sphere of important people, like it would be weird for anyone to look at Bill Clinton's
repeated involvement with that person as anything but suspicious at the very least.
I don't think that it's not, I don't think that it's wrong to be suspicious of the fact that it was not a one-time thing correct
was it it was a multiple time thing right him on the plane well 23 that's a lot of times bro it's
like four times but this is a private jet and they make like six flights per oh i see what you mean
they were doing hopping yeah because these things
you know like if you're used to traveling in a 737 you like everything can go direct yeah but
these things they take like these little jumps over the atlantic and then they find themselves
in paris this is all you know that's all that's all kind of aside from the main thing which is
that it's been established there's an island where elite people in the world who have outsized influence were raping kids,
were molesting kids.
And it's being covered up.
It should be the biggest story.
It should be a huge story.
And even when it all came out, it was, oh, whatever, whatever.
Put it under.
It's been established that Epstein and this,
I struggle with her name, Max.
Ghislaine Maxwell.
Ghislaine Maxwell, right?
She was his recruiter
and they would bring in pedos and i'm sorry they would bring in kids and people would have
would fuck them right that's done the clinton thing there is a witness saying that bill clinton
this is fucked her right so that is the evidence that they have there is no flight log saying that
he went there there are pictures of them together so they knew
each other that's a thing i just want the evidence right that's all like you know they've got one eye
witness testimony that when people lay it out like man there's flight logs it's like well
everybody wants more info right yeah we're never gonna get it there's this idea that
they brought powerful people to the island as oh like so that they have on have something on them and then they can control them yeah it's literally
never been used like tell me the powerful people who got in trouble for fucking kids at this island
like they like they blackmail and they've never done it right the compromise has never been
utilized okay but show but show me but show me a show me a reason why it should have been used
who has been named in this that is that is like in some way shape or form wronged jeffrey epstein
or whomever was like going to have this compromise and use it right because it hasn't been used
like what's the most powerful compromise you can have. Yeah. There's nothing better.
There's no,
I mean,
worse,
sorry,
but there's nothing better to have compromise on somebody.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Fucking right.
No,
I,
I guess I just find it suspicious that they've been doing this
compromise thing.
I'll make it up for 2025 years and never utilized it a single time.
I feel like it's improbable.
It's improbable.
They show you some images of you with
a child you just do what they tell they're gonna tell you right so no one's ever i guess you know
you're saying nobody's ever trying to go head to head yeah to that same point what do you what
what happens if you're gonna come forward and spill any beans about this the guy who owned
the island on suicide watch got murdered and then almost is like a mocking way now now the establishment's
like oh even like blue checks would be like jeffrey epstein didn't kill himself it's like
yeah but what does that really mean it means that these people have so much power they can kill you
at the drop of a hat lose footage guards are asleep it makes no sense then the media can look
you in the eye and go fucking mistake fuck you you're never getting any answers it's like this compromise i think it's not that it's
never been used it's that it's in constant use these people do that's a new one for me
compromise it's the russian word for blackmail uh the material you would use to blackmail
yes yeah yeah i would say like it's so successful It's such good dirt on someone that of course they're going to obey.
They're going to do whatever you want.
And you'd have to think to yourself, this is the Jeffrey.
Because, oh my God, I just had a – I unlocked a core memory.
I remember that when Epstein didn't kill himself,
I was supposed to come on and we were supposed to talk about it.
But we just – I guess we just avoided it.
This is the one very weird i'm gonna call it
a conspiracy theory because that is technically what it is this is the one thing that i firmly
believe in because for better for worse the amount of shit that happens even in something as small as
the gaming industry that i know from personal friends or or or or whatever that has
in no way shape or form come to light and took i mean especially now with all of the sexual assault
allegations in the gaming industry and shit like dude if people are gonna come out and say like
this person groped me why would they ever come out and be like this person tried to bait me into fucking kids
like there's and we're talking about irrelevant personalities in a gaming industry that is so
small comparative to any major world influence so like it is it is that is the jump not the jump
that is the bridge that i mentally cross is that if i am a world leader or anybody in a position of power and they have this
arguably indefensible even if it's untrue laundry list of ways they can tie me back to pedophilia
there's really nothing you can do to fight that yeah given that you can't even fight somebody
saying uh he he forced me to give him a blow job like they're you're already done that's it yeah
I'm not saying that either one is wrong I'm just saying that like you have a mountain to climb up if you even wanted to attack that so it's when
it could also be entrapment so so we're we keep framing this oh yeah you're right they're like
hey we got kids you want to fuck them but in reality hey i got a party out of man you want
to come and like hey meet denise and you find out after you've had sex with denise that she's 16
yeah and that's my understanding the whole time we've all been there it's trickery that's what i would oh we got we got supermodels
in here oh sorry this whole place is rigged for sound and video and she's 15 oh she's 18 though
sucks to suck man because i got video of you fucking a 15 year old so you're gonna sign that
trade agreement you're gonna do what i want you to do so if i understand tucker's point about no one ever saying hey this guy tried to bait me to have sex with a kid what he's saying is option b that sex
with children is so good tucker saying that no one has ever turned it down oh my god i literally saw
a typewriter type that as a quote in my head. I saw Tucker, hyphen, and then those words.
I actually spoke them.
I could hear the clickety-clack.
Why do I come on this guy?
Now you understand how entrapment works, Tucker.
Now you get it, right?
You thought you were coming on to talk about silly things.
I was going to talk about video games.
Now I'm talking about demos.
That's another part of it.
We made you feel comfortable with a little video game talk, right?
Oh, God.
The next thing you know, you're...
How do we even get to this conversation?
We were talking about fall guys earlier.
We got another surprise for you.
Check your external.
What does check your external mean i'm like we put someone's hard drive yeah you wondered why your camera was blinking earlier right that was the download
yeah oh my god i feel so good about that. But what about fall guys? That kids game?
Yeah, yeah.
Oh, wait, no way.
So I don't think Epstein killed himself.
I'm a little, I think.
He didn't kill himself.
There's no way.
On the spectrum of like believing every conspiracy theory to believing none.
I'm closer to the none side.
I believe none except for this one and maybe one other.
I'm probably close to you.
Yeah.
Conspiracy theory is a tentpole topic around here.
What other conspiracy theory do you believe in, Tucker?
See, I said that without really thinking about what other conspiracy theory I believe in.
But now I believe I hear here's not so conspiracy. I don't believe in aliens, but I do believe in I do believe in the vast unreported amount of technologically advanced stuff that every government that is capable of producing has locked away and has been doing for since the dawn of time. this shit area 51 whatever it is just simply the it's like the sr71 like tech 20 10 20 years in
front of the future that they're just never going to let out like that's the conspiracy theory that
i came to mind i agree with that one mostly um i do believe that there are aliens i just don't
think they've been here i'm like 95 sure that they've been here 100 people are aliens that exist
somewhere it's just they're not landing here and building the period the universe is like
is infinite it just it doesn't make sense for there not to be possible yeah and but but i you
know i want to believe like the little x files tag tagline i really do want to believe because
it'd be so cool if there were aliens that were visiting us and if they had visited us and we're like the fucking zoo we're like the the like the orangutans at the zoo they're
like let's stop at earth we'll check out earth and then you can feed them a little bit and then
we'll get back in the car and we'll go over to like daddy i want to fuck one of the ass all right
billy all right sure sure sure earth is just jeff Jeffrey Epstein's island for aliens. Debate me.
Oh.
Oh.
When you're right, you're right.
Oh, I need an end, Bill.
My mind.
Taylor tried convincing us.
Are you familiar with Helen Keller?
Yeah, of course.
Taylor tried convincing us that Helen Keller was a fraud about a month or so ago.
Not that she was an intentional fraud.
She was essentially a ventriloquist dummy for her assistant helper, the miracle worker.
What was her name?
Ann Sullivan.
Ann Sullivan.
Did you know Ann Sullivan was blind, Taylor?
Yeah, not deaf.
Got my notes.
Oh, Jesus Christ.
Why?
I was hoping that would come out.
God, he's got pages.
Pages.
That's single space.
Is it printed front and back?
Please tell me.
It's not front and back, but there was a lot more data that I could have had, and I had to keep it succinct.
You keep your lies to yourself.
Kyle says, Taylor tried to convince us.
I say, Taylor made a compelling point.
I went on The Dick show with Dick
Masterson. His audience thought
it was a very compelling point as well.
I want a poll.
I will. And look, here's
I'm going to win this one. Taylor has pages,
right? Taylor's pages. I have a singular
piece of evidence. Yeah.
Of the genius
speaking without
a hand up her ass moving her mouth
intelligibly.
Like carrying on a very intelligent conversation.
It was apparently more than
Polly wants a cracker.
You watch the video of
What's her name again?
Kelly Keller?
Your fucking whole shit nonsense. Look at this video from 1904
no all of mine is look at it's typed
you'd be the same guy you're like wow look at this strong man from 1894. Can you believe no one to this day has lifted a cow and heaved it 30 yards?
It's like, yeah, of course not.
Of course not.
All those old records, that's all made up.
Helen Keller, where are the blind deaf people talking now?
I've said this so many times.
Where are they?
Watch the video.
I didn't say that.
No, no, no.
Wait.
You're saying she's a secret retard.
Yes.
I'm saying secret genius.
So I want to pull secret retard or secret genius. It's A or B, no. Wait. You're saying she's a secret retard. I'm saying secret genius. So I want to pull secret
retard or secret genius. It's
A or B, folks. And
you've heard all of Taylor's evidence.
My singular piece of evidence is the fucking
video of her speaking.
And she's literally saying,
I wish I could speak better
so that I could share my thoughts and feelings.
Wait, is that what she literally said? Or did she
say,
I knew that. Okay, Kyle, what she literally said? Or did she say... I knew that was coming.
Did she do that?
Okay, Kyle, I will say this.
Prepare to get blown the fuck out in this poll.
I am...
Dude, secret retard, it's going to be a waterfall.
A waterfall into secret retard.
Let's do that poll on the subreddit.
Do the poll.
Do the poll.
Was it not said that she went deaf and blind after a fever?
So she was hearing and seeing.
So she had the basis for all this communication.
The age of 19 months, though.
And the current prognosis in the year 2020 for someone who goes blind and deaf is that they are not going to be able to communicate.
Do you know what they call the movie, Taylor?
The Miracle Worker.
Do you know why they call it that?
Yeah, they should have called it Miracle.
Miracle.
God's not going to let us keep saying that.
They don't call it the thing just about anybody can do
in this certain circumstance, worker.
They call it the Miracle Worker.
Yeah.
Is there a documented case of somebody who was both deaf and blind before two years that has reached a level?
Miracles don't happen all the time.
If they do, they call it ordinary game on ice.
No, see?
They're just calling it the Olympic hockey game by the time we won.
Thank you so much, Tucker.
I needed someone else on my side here.
No, I was just asking.
I wasn't on anybody's side.
I'm just asking for more empirical data.
Is there any documented example?
Okay, Taylor.
There is one documented example prior to her.
Prior to her.
Oh, never mind.
Even less reliable.
Even less reliable.
It doesn't matter. No reliable there's none no modern day
ones no modern day ones like if there's not anybody in the last 30 years i believe taylor
because if with modern tech we have no ability to teach somebody i don't care about how improbable
it is it's just not going to happen like we have all the tools that are disposed of we can literally
rebuild eyeballs i don't know if that's true or not,
but we're getting close.
We get like girl.
Yeah.
Secret genius.
Watch the video of the girl speaking and then tell me that it's all a sham.
Don't believe your lying eyes and ears.
It's,
it's obviously,
that was a little pun,
but yeah,
she's,
she's retarded.
Absolutely. There's so many, there's so many more points here that I could regale Tucker with, but I don little pun, but yeah, she's retarded. Absolutely.
There's so many more points here
that I could regale Tucker with,
but I don't want to-
No, no, we don't need a rehash.
We don't want a rehash.
I'm already on your side.
I wish you had just as vehemently defended my theory
that there was no Holocaust.
What the hell?
Dude, there's no punishment for saying-
I don't have time to completely disprove the Holocaust.
We've only got another two and a half, three hours here.
But if you want to talk later, Tucker,
I'll convince you. Don't worry.
Nope, I'm good.
I've got some documents that I'm going to need you to download.
We'll not be doing that.
Pop on a stream and cover it.
Yes, I would like to come on your stream.
Wait until there's a lot of people in there, though.
Are you doing a sponsored stream anytime soon?
That'd be a good night to do it.
Jesus.
Let's see.
This stream is brought to you by Logitech.
Now let's talk about the Jews.
Oh, man.
A couple of jokes there I can't say.
But when a good one pops in your head.
Are the Jews silencing you again?
Just all day, every day, man.
I can't get my truth out.
It's about who you can't criticize.
And you know,
that's Helen Keller, apparently.
She's wooing us from the grave,
that dumb bitch.
You've got reams of documents over there
mocking a deaf, retarded girl. A deaf got reams of documents over there mocking a
deaf retarded girl.
A deaf blind girl who was not retarded.
Wait, so you
admit that... Well, she was
retarded, but then she was... And the ball
swings this way!
But then she was
unretarded by Ann Sullivan.
You can't... Once retarded,
always retarded.
Don't co-sign that.
No, I don't know either.
I think a better analogy is
the needle can never
go further than
the gauge allows it.
If you're on the needle, the needle
is on the spectrum. You can't get off
of it.
She didn't even have a sn have us can we watch the video
of her speaking or is that some copyright shit i mean it's in black and white it's copyrighted
it's copyrighted by the foundation i don't know if it's a different section of my youtube i have
like hundreds of complaints against other people that i could file
oh all right youtube start locking them down would it be It'd be fun. Let's get off of all costs, Niall.
We never go.
What are we doing?
All I need you to do, go to Helen Keller
Speaks Out on YouTube.
7 million views.
It's from 1954. This is the fucking
dark ages. You want to know the like-dislike
ratio?
That's how people feel bad.
It looks like they're disabled. Frankly,
just like her.
So that coming to you,
that was quick.
Um,
there's another one here.
Yeah.
20,000 to 300 on the second one of her talking.
And then the third highest ranked video,
when you search Helen Keller talking is Taylor proves Helen Keller was a
fraud.
And how many views does that one have 280 000 see 280 000 people on my side click on my video and see what the like dislike ratio is
because my dislike ratio not disabled totally abled how do you 19 500 oh jesus christ oh
dominating 500 losers
in there, but who cares?
Don't watch his bullshit video. Watch my
video and you'll be pleased. You've already seen
his video. We all know his
brutal and evil take.
You got over a quarter million people
watching you disprove that Helen Keller
was not like... Just that clip of it.
That's not even a show.
Why even attack Helen Keller keller like what is
like well we do this reoccurring thing where we laugh we you're like uh this unproblematic
part of human history that seems to have a positive thing i just gotta prove it
gotta prove it to everyone it's just a fraud
let me ask you this taylor let me ask this taylor and be honest i swayed you a little bit
with the holocaust right i'm not i'm not dipping my toe into that pool that's a yes folks that's a
fucking yes that's not a guess but i might have to work a real job at some point in my life and
so i'm not dipping my toe woody i swayed you a little bit with the Holocaust, right? Oh, not at all. Hey, Taylor.
What do you have to lose?
What do I have to lose?
There's nothing to lose agreeing with me.
On another poll, who did I sway
with the Holocaust talk? Because I gave some legitimate
facts and figures. I would advise not having
a Holocaust deniability poll on your
Reddit. I just fully
advise that you do a poll.
I would know who agrees with me that the holocaust was overblown
the numbers were greatly exaggerated kyle this helps you hold on so since 1959 tommy was also
deaf and blind and learned to communicate like helen keller ronnie merjaka uh was also deaf
and blind and learned to communicate name i don't trust last name? I don't trust a one-name. Tommy Madeup.
I could look it up. Tommy Fictitious.
I don't care. Tommy Fabricate.
Tommy Fabricate. I got a little quick.
Tommy is actually a fictitious character
from the Who's Pinball.
Yes!
I'm winning this poll!
I should have read more carefully.
Haven Germa is a a deaf blind person that graduated
from harvard law school actually in 2019 haven germa harvard law graduate deaf blind woody is
that her name or how she says it and then uh oh my god can we get a deaf blind person as a guest
how are they going to get on discord anyways they don't actually have to be deaf and blind
they just have to be real good at pretending i i need to know i want to know the only the only
my only stipulation to believe tay or not believe Taylor relies on the fact
that both of these people have to have been deaf and blind around the same age
as Helen Keller was at 19 months and learned some level of communication that
would put them on par with Helen Keller,
which I believe is like pseudo conversational.
Yeah.
And I actually know like the kind of stuff you're talking about
Woody that what Tucker just the nail on the head. It's
about the age that it happens and the extent to
which the blindness and deafness is total
for Helen Keller total. If
like apparently like if you're able to form words
and you can understand language and stuff like so
if you go blind and deaf at age 15,
you have the requisite
to be understanding. Helen
Keller didn't have total deaf and blindness
and she just handed no that's what i was gonna say who for all you know like maybe we didn't
have the correct testing like if if he's like how many fingers am i holding up and helen keller can
only see like dark i think that lying bitch wasn't very disabled at all and she just said she just
pretended to be disabled to lower expectations. That's right, too.
Wow, what a genius.
She's also a telepath.
Can you get her to talk when you're not holding a lighter
under her toes?
No, this is our training session.
Do you need that
rider's crop to hit her in the top
of the hand? It's like a circus.
The tricks are pretty awesome at the show,
but the training behind the scenes is terrific.
It's just horrific.
That is the saddest thing when you realize that about
circuses. You see the bears
all doing their thing and the elephants doing it.
When you're little, I don't know if you guys ever went to circuses
when you were little. It sounds like you did, Woody.
It's an actual blast. wrote it circus don't do this circus
so it all evens out yeah but do either of you ride elephants other than me and woody
no i didn't get to that wasn't even an option oh man you're too young for that
you're too young for that yeah oh that's that's now i didn't know what i was
missing right we finally found a climb a ladder kyle and taylor yeah we had steps it was i they
had to climb a ladder and there was this it was awesome it went around in a big circle they still
do it at san diego zoo or at least they did like four years ago when i went we uh they the elephant
would walk up next to the stairwell, almost like next to a plane.
Then we'd get onto the elephant who had a little platform
that we sat on. We did it at a class field
trip in elementary school.
I went to the circus.
It was at the circus. That's what the
field trip was. Of course.
Did you go to feel like Hannibal?
Yes, like Hannibal riding
into Rome.
I guess I was like six. Yeah, probably six. Something like that. I guess I was like six.
Yeah, probably six, something like that.
I wouldn't do it now.
Well, you would look absurd right now.
I'd look bad fucking ass.
Joe Rogan did it recently.
You're in line with his.
Oh, we can kill this.
That's how I learned to play hockey.
There's one six foot few man standing there.
We're going to ride an elephant you're like
budding come on move up the line's moving come on kitty i don't want to go
he wrote an elephant recently i think he was doing something like for the greater good you
know i don't know taking pictures of animals and giving them money but um they're like hey you want to ride an elephant and the elephant if i remember right he held his foot backwards and joe
would like climb on and then and he's like the elephant does not care you know what what my
presence to an elephant is like a flea on your back like it's not a problem and uh and the elephant
walked around and he thought it was pretty badass and he liked the experience yeah my problem is how
they train the elephant not to monitor on its back, though.
They had these like poles with hooks on the end that they used to hook the bottom of their feet, which is the sensitive part of their body, and punish them.
I'm naive enough to believe that these elephants, the ones at this like park and the elephant rescue center, when they're like raising money to save elephants that somehow they do it a little
maybe they train them with the carrot i am also naive enough to believe that the san diego elephants
were treated at least okay right but i but i have no i i don't know if they were or not i'm just
all i'm just saying like they couldn't do that in america they would right right and i'm also
naive enough to believe it's sea world they treat those whales just fine they couldn't do that in America. Right, right. I'm also naive enough to believe at SeaWorld
they treat those whales just fine.
That is not a thing.
They are horrific to those.
Have you ever seen the picture of that man standing
on the little baby killer whale
and it's just like,
just smushed on the floor
and he's like hanging ten.
He's in that surfer position on top of it
and it's just smushed. Let me of it. And it's just squished.
Let me find it.
It's the whales definitely make you feel the worst of any of the animals.
Cause it's like that thing's the size of a school bus.
And it's in something,
you know,
not even an acre large.
I immediately found it.
They had to,
they have to blur this piece of shit's face.
Cause,
cause people hated it so much.
I'm going to get a direct link for the
image one second zoos aren't all bad i mean i i love going to the zoo it's really cool i really
enjoy it and like also like there's no guilt about going to the reptile exhibits or anything
because they don't give a fuck they don't know where they are they're just happy to put the
100 pound woman on the giant one and the dude on the literal child.
Have you ever seen those photos from early 2000s
of Abu Ghraib?
Yeah.
I'm getting vibes of Abu Ghraib.
There's even a bucket there.
This is killer whale
Abu Ghraib. That's what they must
think. They're like, what did we do to deserve this?
They really should have switched it. That guy probably
weighs 50% more than her like i feel like he wasn't part of this i feel like she
was tiny i feel like deborah was over there doing a little photo shoot for the sea world cover cover
photo or something he was like oh cool i'll come too and she's like well what are you gonna do
squish he just hops on little joe over there the whale he's standing on is about his own size
i bet he's standing on the goddamn blowhole yeah it's just faces mush right in there this is i i
do you know i love zoos but i also love videos of zoo employees or like and not employees of the zoo
animal handlers getting fucked by animals that they treated badly those are the best
i've said it a million times,
but the creme de la creme of those videos are the Thailand,
the Thai people who like have an alligator open their mouth.
And then they just are like,
fuck you,
idiot.
Slap,
slap,
slap head in there.
Slap,
slap,
slap,
like showing off.
And then eventually the alligator bites them and just doesn't do a
death roll.
It's pretty satisfying.
The death rolls,
the problem there.
Yeah. The bite is a problem too, really.
The problem is they put a prehistoric animal in there.
Yeah, they put a prehistoric animal in there and trained it by slaps.
And that thing knows.
When the world said, ah, you kind of maxed out.
I think we're done for the next like 30 million years.
It's like you just don't fuck with that thing.
Palm trees, alligators, don't fuck with them.
Sharks.
Sharks. All three of those things are terrifying. don't fuck with that thing palm trees alligators don't fuck with them sharks sharks yeah it's cool
like there are some actual dinosaurs still left you know that is like and i like the way
tucker put it where it's like really evolution was like well i mean there are no more traits
that are beneficial you're kind of just a torpedo of death seeking what you will you know what
mission accomplished let's move on to let's make frogs jump better yeah they really gave up so what are some animals that you don't feel sorry
for when when people are mean to them obviously uh yeah right fuck literally literally chickens
are the chickens are the i i am sympathetic and i've watched all right slight tangent but i promise we'll get back on i've watched this uh this um oh shit samsara uh if you've ever heard of it it's this incredible
documentary no words whatsoever two hours long filmed um by an incredible director that specific
it's just incredible shots about like the world like like good, like crazy humanitarian stuff.
Um,
like juxtaposing the city with like these monks that are like tapping sand
grains.
It's just like a really cool visual thing.
Like go take acid and watch it,
whatever.
But the,
um,
but the shit,
what were we just talking about?
I already animals.
You don't feel sorry for it.
Oh yeah.
Right.
So,
so one part they do like the they go through a very well shot process of the meat packing industry
how does a cow get from cow to your plate and so they they like they break it down cow getting
slaughtered cow getting d like entrails getting taken out getting butchered getting cooked up and
then there it is this beautiful fake I felt pretty bad about that.
It like left a lasting image that made me think maybe I should eat less.
But then they showed this like chicken lawnmower that like had these spinning
like hooks.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And they're just, it's just farming chickens.
And I was like, yeah, it's pretty sad.
I'm going to eat at least two eggs and a chicken breast tonight.
Like there's
no i have no chickens are too delicious well you should know chickens are fuel for us you know
there's no there's there's nothing wrong with eating the eggs because those are chicken periods
right of course i love eating chicken period but yeah i have every morning they're never
fertilized they can't be fertilized correct yeah the ones that we eat aren't fertilized right
because that's how the factory does it but but if we had if we went to a farm yard and had a
grabbed an egg those were going to be chickens okay yeah but like oh go ahead oh no i was just
gonna say that like i have no issue with chickens they're dumb as fuck they have they're delicious like they're
just they're just not that i don't care and same with fish fish the disconnect with fish is fine
but cows cows are big ass dogs like i like seeing how people i grew up near farms cows are i like i
had a cow go to sleep on my lap one time and i was like this is so great like yes i
still eat steak and beef but i'm also not like running rampant being like fuck it dude we need
more burt mcdonald's burgers in this bitch like we need to eat more like it's just i'm more aware
of it i'm with you there i'm also with you on the experience i used to bottle my father was an
accountant and he had one client who struggled.
He owned a restaurant.
And as a way of paying the bill, we used to go to the restaurant and eat.
It's a little cheaper to get food and the bill.
But funny, he struggled.
It was a restaurant slash petting zoo.
That's disgusting.
Yeah, that's really fucked up.
So we would order our food food and then i go over to
the petting zoo part and hang out with the cows and the sheep this is our david busters and morgue
that's a good mix too because you need to keep the ice cream cold and
yeah you got the bodies to slide the pull out the thing it's got all the ice cream
you want to play the jurassic park game
your milkshake's nice and cold next to a body uh but yeah so i used to i paid a lot of it i
had a cow it would suck your thumb it would lick you i can see how people eat cow's tongues they're
gigantic like slabs of meat but i also got to know the cow's personality and they're like big dogs
they're very sweet and they love people yeah yeah and so that like like i i think that it
that really not only watching that specific film but also just growing up near farms and having so
many interactions with so many different animals like it's harder for me to disassociate the what
i'm eating with the animal if the animal specifically like personable towards humans
and i know pigs kind of fit that uh but they're dirty so i don't give a shit but cows assholes
i feel like horses are just big cats like they'll bite you they'll hurt you you could sometimes
they give you the slightest bit of like return to affection and you get you like make a bigger
deal out of that because they're assholes 90% of the
time,
but horses are cunts.
We should absolutely eat horses.
I'm in favor of that.
I've been in favor of that.
I'm in favor of horse torture.
Yeah.
I mean,
make them,
make them know why we're eating them.
I,
I,
I,
I think Ikea gotten some bad,
uh,
uh,
trouble for having horse meat in their meatballs.
And all I can say is i
don't give a shit dude that was some good meatball i've heard that ann sullivan can help us communicate
with horses too we should let them know why we hate them so much i think all right what i'm
what's the weirdest type of meat that you've eaten because the reason i asked this is because in seventh grade social studies class we
had a task for everyone to like try and make food from a specific continent and one of my friends
who um grew up in australia and uh had family from there on excuse me um was like oh i got the
perfect thing i'm gonna be australia like please allow it
they brought in kangaroo steak and kangaroo has to be the weirdest meat i've ever eaten because it
is sweet without seasoning it's kind of gamey but it is it is actually like noticeably you bite
into it if you've ever had like deer um it kind of has the same texture but it's very
noticeably sweet and i will never forget that it was just such an odd experience to have to eat
kangaroo and also australians kangaroo are like the deer of australia they don't give a shit like
it's not like ah you can't eat these boys like no eat them they're overrunning everything they
look jacked and so i bet they taste. Are they as jacked as they?
I've seen jacked kangaroo, right?
Like, almost maybe photoshopped, right?
Like, a real normal run-of-the-mill kangaroo, that jack?
The ones that I've seen, like, the one that you're thinking of,
if I remember, that one looks like he weight lifts.
The other ones that I see are significantly less like fit
but the arms aren't supposed to be fit like they're like lower body creatures right as far
as i've heard from the friends that i have in australia it's like you don't like you're gonna
get disemboweled if you fight a kangaroo they're just gonna kick you in the chest with their long
ass yeah raptor talons and you're just going to die. So don't.
To answer your question, not
great answers here. I've had bison and alligator.
Alligator and bison. Alligator's
really good. Bison's really good.
I have bison in my freezer right now.
I got bison in the fridge. I've had ostrich.
I have not had ostrich.
Yeah, that's probably the weirdest thing I've had.
Like meat or egg?
Meat. Yeah, so a friend brought
me a bunch of ostrich jerky and at some point from like some farm i don't know and i it didn't
taste it just tasted like jerky i've had elk i've had elk too taylor and i went i've had elk
taylor and i went to a steakhouse in colorado that like specializes in all sorts of weird game
meats and that place was great elk is elk is good oh wait no that was the other place you're talking about the place where
it was claustrophobic because they went really overboard with the number of animal heads on the
wall every every every square foot of wall space had a dead animal staring at you from yeah that
place was too much and it was like you couldn't move your chair back against the wall because there were antlers.
That level.
Usually it's like
big bear head, big alligator
head up high.
It's like knee level
rabbit skulls and alligator
teeth. It didn't make any sense.
It's like that scene in Lord of the Rings
where the skulls flow into
the room.
But the whole menu was like all sorts of exotic wild game meat,
like elk and buffalo and bison.
I want to say we had like an alligator appetizer.
Yeah, like alligator nuggets.
Alligator nuggets are great, and like po'boys with alligator are great.
But like there was a bison farm
across the street from where i grew up so like i had plenty of bison uh or i'm sorry buffalo farm
were across the street where i grew up so i had plenty of buffalo i have bison in my freezer it's
really great love it to death better than beef i wasn't even 100 sure they were different
yeah i like i don't know they are oh yeah there was a
buffalo farm and i have bison i don't know if there's oh not alone i'm so happy i thought for
sure everyone was gonna be like what do you don't know the difference between buffalo and bison no
i have no i don't i don't myself no as far as i thought american buffalo were bison like like i
don't differentiate between the two i I know if you showed me a...
Buffalo do not...
What the fuck? Bison are found in
North America.
I don't...
It looks like semantics.
It depends on where they're from, right?
I think the difference is...
Yeah, I think Taylor just nailed it.
I think the bison is...
Yeah, because there's those crazy buffaloes in Africa
with those horns that go down and come up,
and they look like they weigh a metric fucking ton or something.
Those are different.
I promise you that the buffalo,
they also look like they weigh a metric ton.
Yeah.
It's got to be like where they were.
It's like champagne, right?
You can't call champagne champagne unless it's from france
unless it's from the champagne region of france stop me that's so cheesy this bubbly wine water
is definitely champagne guys um what is over there with welch's sparkling grape just champagne to me
i've had shark it's not even that uncommon but the shark I had was really good. I liked that.
If you don't like fish,
you might still like shark.
To me, it's...
It's in the steak family, almost.
Yeah, it's definitely like
eating swordfish.
It's really hearty
and thick. Yeah, it is like a steak.
Oh, man, I'm hungry.
Before we move on to the next thing, we're going to hear
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This episode of PKA is
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That is. That's a huge amount of savings there so definitely
definitely check them out all right perfect perfect timing topic so this was from an ask
credit what is actually we've heard better than sex as a uh like expression before what's actually
better than sex name something that's better than sex a5 wagyu beef okay better than better
don't say don't say get out of here if they're like like i was afraid someone would take the
like nothing's better than sex because i'm so great it has nothing to do with being good at
sex you know what i would take over a single sex no all right alright. Enjoyment in sex is a
very large spectrum, right?
If Natalie Dormier
came to me and was like, I want to fuck you,
there's nothing better than that. I will have sex
with you. I'm not going to trade
anything for that, right?
But if we're talking...
Thumb joints.
Thumbs.
Yeah, just a Megan Fox thumb thumb like yeah just find the smallest
but we put that thumb to use but i don't want to see those natalie
i like the way you i can't believe that they built a butt plug in for that but like the
the whole in in my opinion this question is like a what would you, somebody who is having routine sex, say, well, we can put off this one time for this.
And that is like if you just said, I got 12 ounces of A5 Wagyu beef cooked to perfection for you.
I'd be like, yeah, we'll do sex another day.
That's not fair.
Oh, no, but I did it the same way.
What do you mean it's not fair? How is it not fair? I would trade do sex another day. That's not fair. Oh, no, but I did it the same way. What do you mean it's not fair?
How is it not fair?
I would trade one sex for this.
Yeah.
Because if you reverse it, you'd go with the sex.
If you ate A5 Wagyu beef every single day
and somebody was like,
hey, will you put off the steak tonight for some sex?
You would say absolutely yes.
So the fact that you can reverse it
means it's not a fair argument.
No, no. It's not infinite of's and i don't eat steak every day
you can't compare infinite sex and taking a break off at what i mean i'll take a break
off from having sex every day to do just about anything new kyle i acknowledge your argument
but let's pretend that sex is easier to come by than
whatever it is that you're taking over it right like someone this thing made an argument that i
didn't agree with he was like one thing that's better than sex to this guy is when you're coming
out of the heat and you walk into an air-conditioned room absolutely fucking not yeah i'm like no that's
that's quite nice but not better than sex in my mind no um the one that i had you know what i can harass him
what i would take above sex is when i lose weight step on the scale and i've beaten a milestone
maybe it's a weight that's divisible by 10 can't relate i've never lost number that's divisible by
five oh you know what's even better than that weight loss feeling wo? The experience of getting fat. Oh!
Oh! Oh, you have not
lived until you've gotten fat,
my friends.
How's that going for you?
Are you just tossing it to the side?
Yeah, how's that going?
I might be the fittest person on the show.
Yeah, maybe.
Probably fitter than me,
I promise.
Well, you're running all the time aren't you
I hurt my back
last month or two months ago
not two months literally like
three weeks ago
I don't know
and that's the alarm I swear to god
I thought I had like a herniated disc
I set an appointment
and everything because I've never
I'm 27 like there should never be
a time where I struggle to bend over
to put my shoes on but like
it fucking hurt and I was
like well I have like good full range of
motion left and right and twisting but like
forward and back not great
so I talked
to my doctor and she was like
probably just pulled some I don't
know like come back in like three weeks if you
have numbness in
your legs and i was like great did it go to your legs better no it's been getting better slowly
but like i i really like right i miss running so much it was the only physical cardio that i did
i lift weights at home but like i hate lifting weights i like running so it's been a real like
i'm getting old type feel because i don't know what the fuck happened.
I just woke up one day and I was like,
I can't bend over.
Yeah.
I just woke up one day and just realized I hadn't ran in 10 years.
Wow.
It really happened overnight.
Dude,
that stuff gets you like,
um,
this is five years ago,
but,
um, Colin was driving the go-kart
around the yard and he flipped it and it came to a rest on its roof i saw it happen very frightening
so i ran over to them but the ground's not that level like it's a little wavy
that hilly ish but not mountainous and when i had to run full speed i didn't really account for like the
elevation changes and i fell forward and got up and ran some more and it was like what do you have
probably broke like a 10 year no run streak right there you know like how often did you sprint like
you don't like ran as fast as you could because there's somebody hurt on the other side like it
doesn't happen much is that recent like that happened right recently and that's oh i thought you were
talking about like how you yeah i mean it would be more alarm it would be way less alarming i've
pulled my back muscles and shit right like i'm very active so i know what like lower back pain
should feel like if i pull a muscle not felt anything like that and that's what really was
worrying also i didn't have that moment where you're like ah fuck i just threw out my back feel like if I pull a muscle not felt anything like that and that's what really was worrying
also I didn't have that moment where you're like ah fuck I just threw out my back right I just like
woke up and I was like holy shit I can't bend over like what happened and I wasn't even doing
anything active the night before so it was just weird so you just woke up with pain I had um
I had like slight lower back pain for the week leading up to it and i changed
my like ab workouts just because i was not sure if maybe i was like putting too much stress doing
sit-ups and shit um but i think i think that i've settled on it was the way that i was running like
my running gait was not good because maybe i had been out of practice not running on the
you know covid's fucked everything up i had taken like three months off of working out.
And I usually, I would run like a mile and a half,
two miles on the treadmill and then go do weights.
And here I was, I don't have,
I have like very basic weights and I didn't at the start.
So I was running like three, four miles,
but maybe like my shoes weren't good
or my gait wasn't right.
So I think I just, I did something over there.
So I got new shoes, but I haven't used them yet because my back still hurts you should um well i'm not a
doctor but my doctor said i should walk and when i did my progress got better way faster
i yeah i still do walk a good mile and a half every night just real walk yeah just right yeah
and it has been getting better but like my initial reaction was my back hurts let me stretch so i was doing all my running
stretches and stuff and it just wouldn't work out i it was it was truly an alarm it was the
this was the first health scare that i've had where i was like uh-oh like you sit for a job
like is this the whole is this the problem but like i'm sitting now no problem not uncomfortable i was just spooking myself the other thing for me was i was like i'm taking you
know ibuprofen like and what do you take 200 milligrams or something he's like you're way low
800 three times a day what the fuck yeah wait three times a day yes yeah dr kvorkian i think
right i and i had like 600 and a pill from like a surgery that i never like
i got some of those yeah yeah yeah so i started taking that in a two and um here's here's so much
ibuprofen that's a lot of ibuprofen so i had only positive effects to do that i made i made the i
made the choice that like realistically it's ibuprofen or alcohol right or else like both of those and no liver
so i think that's acetaminophen right i'm a pro friend of an inset so okay sorry i have acetaminophen
in my drawer right now 200 milligrams so i was like i like i care i don't really take
anti-inflammatories or anything like that i just don't there's very little pain that i'm like i
really should do something to like quell this otherwise it's just like that's part of life
right so i just made the assumption made the decision i was like she she my doctor was like
we can get you over the counter um like anti-inflammatories and all that stuff and i was
like is it gonna speed it up she's like it'll make you feel better it's like i don't care at that
point like i just won't bend over as much.
So my doctor felt like reducing the swelling promotes the healing.
It's not just a pain thing.
It's a healing thing.
So that's what wins me over.
I'm like,
Oh,
that makes sense.
If it was enduring pain,
then that's just a choice.
If it's a speeding appealing,
fuck it.
Sign me up.
Right.
Right.
And I think maybe there was a disconnect there with like, it was a phone phone meeting because i can't go into the clinic unless i have a real problem
otherwise i'm at risk for covid do you guys do you guys take any supplements yeah like or i guess
the better question is do you take any that when you started taking it you were like i can feel a
real different like like i don't really count protein powder as
one because that's just protein and then like creatine has so much evidence i i mean i could
tell when i've been taking creatine or when i haven't after a few weeks but like what what
have you guys taken that actually seems to work do you want to know the boring answer because i
know like i'll go first because i know kyle probably has some like real like concoctions and shit but like i i um i
like i work inside of a windowless booth for the entirety of the daylight so my first thought was
i need vitamin d otherwise like it's gonna be tough for me to to get that and then i was like
well i should probably take like a multivitamin so i take a very basic pm multivitamin that helps with like
metabolism and muscle uh well i guess i used to when i was working out like muscle growth etc but
vitamin d3 uh a thousand au or whatever the hell measurement they have um i don't give a shit if
it's placebo or not it's cheap enough that i'll keep taking it like i i felt at least a caffeine level increase in my
like um like one cop it's such a weird like metric one cup of coffee a day of like energy from having
that supplement and i really don't care if there's any science behind it it just i don't get any sun
in here so no vitamin d there definitely is science
behind that i take one of those i take it with like i have a d3 plus k2 supplement because i
was like reading some article it's like and that you sell those it's like you need vitamin k2
specifically to carry potassium what's k2 it's i guess so yeah it's some some kind of potassium
but like you need that in there as well.
Carry it. Or I guess, wait,
is that potassium?
I don't know. That's what I was asking.
I didn't know that I was
reading it and I was like, oh, well, it's the same price as just
vitamin D. May as well try it.
I can't tell a whole cup of coffee increased.
Maybe because I rarely drink coffee and it gets me wired.
But yeah, I definitely feel better since I started
taking it. I like that Taylor chooses his shampoo
and vitamins using the same philosophy,
right?
Like the more in ones,
the better.
Fair enough.
Fair enough.
I think besides creatine and protein,
like pre-workouts are the only thing that,
I mean,
obviously vitamins,
like,
like all the vitamins.
Um,
but,
but you don't,
I've never noticed feeling vitamins, but you definitely notice and feel, uh, pre-work vitamins, like all the vitamins. But I've never noticed feeling vitamins.
But you definitely notice and feel pre-workout,
like especially if it's a nitric oxide boosting thing as far as pumps go.
And, of course, of energy because they just load you up with caffeine,
like 180 milligrams per scoop or something like that.
You use two scoops and you're just fucking wired.
You know what?
Oh, go ahead. I was going to say, say i feel like i gotta rephrase it it's not like um like taking pre-workout or like a like drinking like a cup of coffee where you're like you take the d3 and
you're like ah i'm ready to go like i just noticed like at the end of the day the overall productive
and energy levels that i had probably equated to a cup of coffee spread out over the whole, you know, like a positive increase negligible.
Sure. Don't give a fuck. But pre-workout is a whole different, you know, your skin itches and
you're like, I'm ready to pump iron. Well, if your skin is itching, you're using the wrong stuff.
That's not good. I'm not, I've never taken pre-workout.
No, no. I know what you're talking about. The beta alanine.
For some people, it feels just like itching.
I'm like that too.
I hate that sensation.
Some people like that tingle when they're going into workout.
It boosts nitric oxide production.
It's something like that, but it causes the tingles in some people.
I hate it.
Taylor would take a pre-workout during the show.
He'd be like,
hi,
we got a rap.
We got a rap.
If I don't start lifting shit,
then I'm going to explode.
I'm like,
I want what he's on.
Yeah.
I was on one called lit for a while.
And it was,
it was literally,
I went,
I went and I went to the GNC for the one time.
I was like,
you know what? I'm going to pop in,
help out the independently owned GNC instead of going to Amazon.
I go in.
Where's your pre-workout?
Oh, here's our selection, which is an eighth the size of Amazon's and more expensive.
Okay, cool.
Find lit, one of the cheaper ones, and take it up.
At the time, I'm like, it's all about the fucking same.
I'll just try a new one for the flavor.
And I get it.
And before, I didn't realize how much caffeine was in it and it was like 300 milligrams and it was so
intense that i couldn't work out on it like i would be in the middle of working out and then
i'd find myself like uh in the in the in between pacing and jogging back and forth in my hallway
just like such a high level of anxiety like i was like having like racing thoughts about things that
could go wrong i'm like this is this is the worst experience I've ever had in my life.
I want to do wind sprints between bench presses to burn off energy.
I don't take any pre-workout anymore, but here's another,
another pro tip supplement.
Everybody knows that zinc makes you come more, right?
Yeah.
Celery and zinc.
Celery and zinc.
And obviously the number one thing, hydration, clearly.
And horny goat weed.
Horny goat weed.
I saw that.
I don't think there's any evidence for that.
But you know what?
There is a little bit of evidence for sunflower lecithin.
I wish I was right.
I thought this was the segue into a SmartMouth commercial.
You know what makes you cum?
You know where you get zinc from the zinc of smart mouth and it'll make your loads bigger and that's well i hope you're not
swallowing smart smart mouth yeah you should probably not uh you should not swallow mouthwash
but this stuff sunflower lecithin it like you take a few of these every day after like a week or two right actually even like a week
how much am i gonna come you're gonna come more than you usually do in a noticeable way
you take a couple sunflower lecithins you take your zinc your sunflower lecithin and then you
take uh taylor you're gonna drown this poor girl and you know what i i i was like googling about supplements
or i was on the this is what it was i was on the supplement reddit just like just like
yeah and i went to top all because i'd like never gone there this was like a month or two ago a
couple months ago and the first one was like our high up one was like what's the perfect mix to
come a lot and i was like well zinc obviously no no you go into
the supplements reddit these people have experimented they've measured their loads they're
like they got knowledge for you and so he's like this is the mix you want you want sunflower
lecithin take way more than they say you should uh zinc take some of that uh l-arginine take that
l-lysine take that that. Celery seed.
Take that.
And I was like, okay, well, let's not go hog wild and spend $35 on supplements for loads.
Let's just buy the cheap sunflower stuff and see if that actually works.
Seems to.
Go ahead.
No, I'm saying it seems to.
Seems to make you come alive.
It seems to.
My mind is going in places like Taylor's girl starts gaining weight
but really hasn't changed her diet.
We're trying to trace that to what's new.
You have outrageous amounts of sunflower oil in your mind.
No, you take that, and who knows?
Maybe I'll buy all those other things they were saying,
but it was just a long list of things.
Delivering 800 calorie loads. by all those other things they were saying, but it was just a long list of things. All I know is
that when I clicked on
the reviews, we have
Alaska Man rating
4 out of 5 stars February
14th, 2016.
He titled his review
Bigger Loads.
And
it just says, bought this to increase
semen volume. recommend dose recommended dosage
seems to help thank you alaskan man alaskan man so there you go there's your pro tip of the day
everyone just really surprise your girlfriend holy shit it sounds like you might want a warmer
warner what about neil neil five star your path to bigger loads
starts here party ron jeremy has a product holy grail wait ron we we don't like ron jeremy's
a rapist we don't allegedly hold on but let's see i bet he's got some of these same ingredients in
his load powder how do you think they found so much evidence all right it's everywhere that's proof in the book i prefer these over other brands that
use soy in their lectin and this product does not give me any digestive problems and i love
the product for helping me out with producing more healthy ejaculate for ttc reasons what's
i hate that uh text to speech
probably i highly recommend this product for men trying to increase their ejaculate volume
it will not increase the semen production but you'll get more healthy nutrients to help little
swimmers in their journey to the egg taylor we're playing a dangerous game here oh i am playing a
dangerous game but this is uh this i didn't even think about that but the uh yeah well i guess
those supplements guys know knew what they were talking about can i can i ask what is the um what's the drive to come more oh just it was like it was fun to
see if that would work i don't think i'm gonna purchase any more i'm not saying you i'm not
saying like you taylor clearly there's a market for people that just want to have like fire hydrant
loads like like these people won't settle
until they're blasting gallons i think there are women out there who yeah but i think there are
women out there who associate the amount of cum you produce with how like no oh maybe but but
with like how well they did right like the bigger your load the better i am at sex is the uh jokes on you i masturbated seven
times before we hooked up there's nothing just dust there was like some like hilarious like
going on black twitter is so funny and like there was there this was a month or two ago and it was
this just this black lady on twitter just random account that went like really big because it was like, miss me with that
shit if your load looks like this.
And it was a picture of like watery
yogurt, like that really watery
kind. And then like a thread of her showing
things that she would prefer loads to look
like. Like creamy
like Greek yogurt
things like that.
Yeah, it was funny. Also gross.
It's like spray cheese.
Yeah.
I need some viscosity in my cum.
Oh, gross.
Yeah, that...
Then just really dehydrate yourself, right?
How did we get... Oh, supplement talk.
Jesus Christ.
The most innocuous things lead us to come talk
i think to had it planned all along i'm pretty sure that he opened the topic with the intention
of going here i'm thinking so too maybe i did uh i i wrote something down earlier though when
talker was talking about how someone at your school for like a culture day brought food
yeah this this happened
at my high school it was i was a junior he was a senior so obviously you're older and they had
like a culture day for if you were in spanish class and you fucking sucked at spanish you get
a bunch of extra credit by like making empanadas and bringing them in or like some cultural food from South America. And this guy was weird.
And he went to...
You're assigned a country.
That's what it was.
He got assigned Nicaragua or someplace.
And he looked up recipes for their national dishes.
And one of them is roasted guinea pig.
And so he went to PetSmart.
He went to PetSmart. No. Purchased a guinea a guinea pig no killed it in his backyard and then
brought in cooked guinea pig sliced up so like people didn't know exactly what it was because
it was like a you know how you like pull pork it was that kind of thing oh and like how did he i'm
be worried did he disembowel it and then like slow cook it i didn't
eat it but he did something like that apparently because after like people were eating it he
admitted to someone not the teacher like this is guinea pig dude yeah yeah it's guinea pig i told
people that it was like fucking beef pretending to be something like and the teacher found out
because someone marked he got like three days out of school suspension for
murdering that guinea pig and serving it to students in lunch to do that it is pretty insane
and part of the rationale was like you can't just buy pets and cook them and feed them to people
this is a guinea pig that you could get worse better be a previously established rule at this
high school or i'm contacting my attorney. Yeah.
There's AirPod rules here.
It doesn't say you can't kill the guinea pigs.
How was I supposed to know?
It says that you can't cook guinea pigs.
So the dog can play.
Imagine losing your starting spot to a dog.
Yeah, that poor kid.
Parents showed up for his one game, and they're like, so sorry but the dog you uh you suck we don't like you on the team he doesn't even have
shin guards on the first movie was basketball wasn't it yeah it was see i feel like that's the
but the game that a dog would be worst at like soccer makes sense yeah how can a dog dribble ultimate
frisbee would be the ultimate well air bud game yeah yeah yeah they made jokes about dribbling
because that's pissing you know for the dog yeah you're right they made lots of jokes about that
did you ever see uh the the air bud most valuable primate and it's a monkey here yes i remember watching that being like this is
fucking this is sick i want to see the realistic version of that though where the monkey just goes
insane from all the lights and and like the announcers uh speakers and just rips a child
apart just panicking slipping around on the ice, gouging eyes out, ripping fingers off.
Terrified. And he can't get the
gear off. He's covered
in hockey gear. He's trying to tear it off.
A person might be able to beat a chimpanzee
on the ice and skate.
Yeah, there's 12
razor blades on the ice for him to have
fun with. There's a bunch of weapons.
His feet are
hands, people, and you put blades
on them, and then you armor them up
and put them on the ice where the
cops can't even go. All the
children are dead. They're all dead.
In retrospect, this was a grievous error.
Grown man, regular
skater, make him a defenseman, has a
hockey stick. Chimpanzee,
also in gear with a stick, and
skates, can't skate.
I think the dude beats the chimp in this environment he'll hit him like uh in a in a fight yes oh absolutely like the chimp
doesn't have the dexterity to actually get moving on the ice and so all you'd have to do is skate
around keep distance and then when he is not moving you just stay at a distance and smack it
well of course he can't skate. God damn.
That's why Woody set it up like this
because without any other
situation where it's like, hey,
street hockey where they all
have your equipment, it's like, no, that monkey's going to beat
my ass with that stick.
But if you put it on ice, that's the only chance you have.
He's not going to use the stick at all.
Name a monkey that has hung out on ice.
I don't know if there's a scenario where the monkey is actually
holding on to the hockey stick and using it as a weapon.
That's what I mean.
I'm giving him too much credit, maybe.
There are those monkeys that use spears to kill termites.
They use a little stick and they clumsily
put it down a hole like this.
And they drop it a lot.
That's true.
That is funny when like i'll watch like you'll hear like david attenborough be like remarkable we're seeing the beginnings
of stone age and like that'll be it and then you'll see some monkey like
fuck but it's like well david attenborough's pretty fucking stoked on this, so I probably should be too.
Yeah, I don't know.
It's a shame he's going to die soon.
He does the best.
Why would you say that?
I was about to ask if he was alive still.
Oh, I just mean, like, how old is he?
100?
So you're just playing the act of a real table.
He's not sick or anything.
No, I'm just saying, like, probably 80.
All right, well, now that you've said that,
he's dead within the year
how old is taylor he's 94 94 oh he's had a good run he's dead before the year
there's another guy out there with a really nice voice he's like
sharon i'm telling you someday the animal kingdom will be mine he just needs to pass
i'm so dumb he's walter fraying talking about this whole time. I didn't know you were talking about Attenborough.
I thought you were talking about the chimp from the movie.
I was like, how old did they get?
That's a 56-year-old monkey.
It's looking like a fucking Yoda.
And then I was like, are doing like dog year thing where like you
know every year is seven years for a dog he's a champ years like holy shit oh that's so funny
thinking about you just like trying to put those pieces together trying to make it make sense i
was like well he would have had to be like 75 in the fucking movie what was he born in like
in like the 20s or something like that just like thing made it to both World Wars? Damn it.
I thought I had a decent Attenborough impression.
Apparently, that didn't include him.
You do.
I was going to say that you had a very solid Attenborough impression.
It's from watching lots of nature shows.
Attenborough was my age when I was born.
Wow.
That's interesting.
I look at those kind of things, too,
where you'll get on a weird little age-clicking thing where you'll look people up and then like maybe it sounds like you're like this too
what do you or i'll look up and be like man when i was starting life this guy was 72 and he's still
around and he's been around since then as long as i i don't know it's just it's a weird thought
that like how much shit was going on before you were here and it's even realer when
you can see someone who that's really trite but i think you know what i'm saying well so what were
you born in the 90s yeah 91 right so i'm like taylor thinks of the 70s in the same way that i
think of as the 50s you know like before my time but not some strange foreign land and the same way that um nine-year-old that doesn't have the same kick
but like i mean you're right it is kind of alarming to uh kind of kind of look at like
oh you've been alive since like the great depression you were born and then you grew up
through the second world war and then you had the 60s you had sure i remember and then you had
yeah yeah yeah i'm still there you had like
the internet and cell phones and all this shit and i'm just like i can't believe my porn takes
this long to download like i can't believe i'm buffering in 4k like it's crazy like he was in
his 60s his mid-60s when the internet became like a thing yeah they're like i guess when it was more
popular he was like 70 in the mid-90s when more people were kind of picking it up like it's just crazy that someone that late in life
experiences something and then gets to see the evolution that we've seen until now like
to see everything and then see that rapid change which is like uh i guess most impressive
okay here's this what exists in your lifetime that you didn't think you'd see that was just sci-fi
anything yet oh man let me think i'll go while you're thinking vr is probably the like like i'm
like i we're all significantly younger than you so there's you know a difference here but like vr
was something that growing up and like reading like's Game and watching cyberpunk futuristic shit,
I'm like, oh, there's going to be a way
that we can download our conscious into the VR.
And now, albeit in a very janky and not as full dive way,
still very impressive, we have it.
So that, to me, was the big thing currently
that I'm like, wow, I can't we have vr or ar or anything like that you know what seemed like total sci-fi impossibility
that exists the translators the fact that i can like talk to my phone and have it talk to you in
spanish um my friend went to north or i'm sorry south korea he's in the army and he would just
point his phone at the menus and know what the different menu items were.
He would project on his phone
in English.
This is the menus behind the cashier.
This Universal Translator,
that's Star Trek shit.
It's on an iPhone.
And probably Android.
That is cool.
VR was what my mind went to immediately also and just i remember the first time i played pokemon go not even that remarkable
just being like this is sick like i'm i'm at a chipotle catching a riot or a fucking pincer
or whatever it is like i don't know that was really really cool the Epcot Center has that but that's like
the most bottom of the barrel
AR which is why it's very exciting
to think about like the full dive
whether it's like
plug into you know your nervous
system or like full haptic suit
like that is not even
20 years in the future
that's a very real we're going gonna get our first prototypes at some point
in the next 5-10 years so it's just like the republicans on my facebook feed will absolutely
be against that plugging in microchipping me jerking off to anime and they won't be able to
all right like i'll be in that haptic suit getting my dick sucked by some 3d person doesn't exist it's gonna be incredible
look you're gonna be over to talk
i mean i would think that the most incredible thing to possibly live through was pre
like i remember one of the major uh freeing developments was not paying for a text messaging plan.
Yeah.
Like, when we had to pay
for 250 text messages a month
and you'd go over, and my mom
would be like, who the fuck are you talking
to this much?
Like, who? Now it's like,
if you had a limit on
how much you could text, that would be
absurd. Versus like, like my dad watched the moon
listen to the moon landing on radio or whatever and now he's like you see spacex you see that
shit we got live stream full hd footage all the way to the space station that's crazy
the text message thing the iphone was blue in the and if you texted an android guy it was green
people say yeah it's still that way it started that way not because of this like prestige iphone
thing which is maybe how it's viewed as today but because you really wanted to know if this was a
free text message that went on iphone to iphone over like wi-Fi or if it was a text message that counted against your monthly limit.
It was iMessage versus SMS.
And same with like, no, you're 100% right.
It's just a weird, like I feel like my,
oh my God, I can't believe that I get unlimited text messages
is insurmountably way shittier than my dad going like,
I remember growing up and not having the Internet.
And now I can do whatever the fuck I want on the Internet.
Like that gap between growing up and having nothing to like having Netflix at your disposal seems.
I've talked about my Facebook fools too much.
But when the Internet first became a thing, people in school like i was wanted to use it as
a source and these boomers would be like dude you can't use the internet as a source it has to come
from books if it's on the internet it's not verified it's not true etc now anyone who's on
the internet all the time has a pretty easy task of figuring out like what's a reliable source and
what's a bullshit right verified whatever but it's the boomers who fall for this insanity all
the time like q anon shit and like dude your age group was nailing me to the cross for yeah like
you know using the internet as a source as a student and now you're falling into bullshit
hook line and singer very janet very gen z take of you woody because like this was still some like i
could not use wikipedia as a source in high school which wasn't that long ago 10 years ago um i i
could use peer-reviewed sources from peer-reviewed like like like the general like science whatever
conglomerate shit um and that was i remember like coming into the internet and being
able to be like oh i can use this as a source but i have to give the references that they use as like
my bibliography all that shit but it it has it is not lost on myself nor is it lost on probably
everyone under the age of 40 that the same people that were drilling that idea of like you have to check
your sources are now terrible at posting articles from like common dreams.net org where it's like
fuck is this yeah like it's always like some the title of those is always like, the truth will set you free dot biz. Yeah, and you're like, dot biz, huh?
Nobody can buy their own website.
I don't understand it.
You're making some good arguments,
but this is a dot fun domain.
Yeah, that is interesting because I remember that.
You can't use this.
This is just a website.
It's like, yeah, but it's like link into passages from books and it was like i remember our librarian went hog wild
with blocking sites in high school to the point like sites you couldn't go to to the point that
it was unusable for a while where it'd be like you couldn't go to certain wikipedia articles
you couldn't like it was it was absurd i may have a gen z take because i just finished school like 10 years ago like you did but uh but um uh you'd always just go one level deeper right
like you go to wikipedia to find where they found their sources and yeah it's not that wikipedia is
like the um golden corral of sources you're like yeah this is some mac and cheese but like maybe i
want to figure out like where's the good mac and cheese you'd go to. That was an awful analogy. I was
really excited about it. I want to parse this out. I've thought about it. I've rescinded it.
It is no longer the analogy. Well, that's a Joe Biden kind of analogy. Now when I go to Golden
Corral, they keep the good mac and cheese on the bottom of the tub because the heat is at the bottom.
The tub gets all crispy.
When I'm elected, it's going to be all the bottom.
It's going to be all hot at the bottom.
There won't be the crusty top.
I feel like the Biden shit is like 90% untrue.
They take like a stutter and they put it on a loop or slow it down and make it worse but then it's 10 true when he was at the debate stage
saying that parents needed to play more records for their children as better parents or something
it was like really he was talking about vinyl records kind of like yeah septuagenarian bullshit
is that yeah there are times where he clearly isn't 100% sure what he's supposed to say
or where he is.
When he challenges people to fights?
Yeah, challenging.
Hey, Jack!
That was the funniest thing I ever did.
Oh, man.
I bet Kyle remembers he's good at this.
Pony-faced horse soldier?
Horse-faced pony.
I call him a pony soldier for sure
okay maybe did he call him a horse face pony soldier
he said he said biden's lying dog-faced pony dog face lying dog-faced pony soldier
see and if his delivery was better he would have got a lot of laughs
but if i remember right it was like this it was a woman right did he call it was a woman he called
a lying dog-faced pony soldier god i hope not she seems sweet now her question wasn't
the one that an ally would ask you know brian how did you get so good looking or like whatever
but you know it was critical and he had to answer it and he just came back at her with that it was way over the top and his strategy of hiding in a bunker and just you might as well
put trump and not trump on the ballot and he's hoping to win that way and it's working but it's
not inspiring yeah he probably doesn't care that much anyway he knows he's not doing shit once
he's elected it's just like pass the keys to kamala kamala harris is here's kamala kamala make your bid for four years
from now yeah she'll get 12 years of president if she gets elected in 2024 literally i will taylor
are you on my facebook feed because you sound like it well no i'm saying if she gets four years
under biden where she's like no i've not followed it completely the idea that biden won't be president it's just a cabal secret actors no no i don't think at all
see you see i think you're making it too sinister it doesn't there doesn't need to be some oh there's
a cabal of this and that it's like no there's a man who's clearly losing his mind he's in his
late 70s they put someone who they think can handle the job beneath her him so that de facto she's going to be
the the president she's going to be making the big calls it's going to be a uh you know
bush cheney situation you know except even more so where you know how back in the day people were
like bush doesn't even say anything he's not even fucking doing anything cheney's got the reins on
this whole thing it's going to be that biden will come out stumble through a word of prayer on
thanksgiving other than that it's going to be kamala making decisions he'll uh he'll pardon
the turkey that'll be biden's job well she like kamala i'm tough on crime and i will not pardon
the turkey he's not there everybody's panicking you have to pardon the turkey. This is my chance to show I'm serious. Teeth fall out.
Oh, man.
That's funny. Joe Biden executes a turkey
on live TV.
He pulls it up like Game of Thrones.
But my mother is a
merciful woman.
Death to the
turkey.
Surprise, everybody, he's killed the turkey right there.
Oh, that would be so funny.
Who was the Game of Thrones character?
Who took multiple hacks in Game of Thrones?
What?
So Ned Stark made a point of being able to
one slice a head, right?
Did someone not do it well?
Theon.
Theon didn't do it.
Maester, not Maester, whatever the head fighter guy was there at the Stark song.
Theon went at that guy like Woody went at Henrietta on the camping trip.
It was just hacking blows.
And then at the end, he had to finish it off with his foot.
That's the untold story of Henrietta.
I just booted her.
You've never watched Game of Thrones, Tucker?
Never seen an episode.
Don't waste your time.
No, I think at some point
I will have to take a run through it all.
I have not watched
any Star Wars besides the newest two.
And the Phantom Menace when it came out
in theaters well star wars doesn't hold up that well to me indiana jones does uh but i mean it
wasn't like a malicious choice to not see them it just the cards never like my family wasn't into
it you know like i totally understand the fandom behind it and same with game of thrones i just never had access to hbo and by the time i was like even remotely like maybe i should get it
it was like season four and then i was like i'll wait till it ends and then i saw everything
like we showed our kids star wars you know because we're responsible parents
yeah and um it just went a little slower i remembered it as a kid being like, oh, my God, space cowboys with their lightsabers or space knights, whatever they are, pirates.
But as an adult, I'm watching it and I'm like, man, there's a whole lot of like politics and Senate.
I hate it.
I hate Star Wars.
I hate almost all of them.
There's like one or two decent movies and the rest of them are like
legitimately bad movies.
I don't get it.
I see a lot of the Star Wars movies as
B's, but people were
hoping for A pluses, you know, and they
just missed expectations. Yeah, I like
it's Lord of the Rings or something like that
in space. It's not good.
It's not good. Like, especially
the old ones. The old ones are better movies, good like especially the old ones like like it's the old
ones are better movies but they're so old they look like shit and the new ones look good they're
well polished for the most part but the acting is is awful just the the story is dreadful i don't
care and there's retreads of the old ones as far as the storyline goes yeah is the argument and this is just as somebody that doesn't like consume pop
culture all the time like is the argument if you had to put people on an octagon is it is it like
great series of all time lord of the rings versus star wars or is it like like what like what is the
like where is the comparison between those two because i've seen all the lord of the rings movies all are fantastic really enjoyed them but like i'm trying to really compete but
if i were to do it i think lord of the rings might make the title bout and the marvel things would
make the if you're talking about series oh it might be well i can't me how who would i also
have not spent enough time on the title oh if, if we're talking about big trilogies and series of movies,
I don't know, the Avengers
or the three Avengers movies, is that right?
I put all 30 in.
That was how I did it in my head.
It's hard to compete with Marvel. There's so fucking
many of them. There's so many great actors.
As far as a self-contained story, though,
Lord of the Rings kind of takes the cake.
And the original Star Wars trilogy
just isn't even close for me. I just don't like it i don't find those characters compelling really even
um like when you watch that when you go back to the originals and you watch them have a fucking
lightsaber fight it's super lame it's so bad they're just kind of like all right we'll touch
them in the middle right zoom like children in backyards have better lightsaber battles than they have in the
original movies even um the the one that came out in like i don't know the late 90s or 2000s
or something like that yeah that trio people said that those lightsaber battles were really good
you see darth maul doing his thing i had watched them after watching the clone wars cartoons
and when you watch humans do it it's just slow
motion bullshit you want
the good lightsaber battles you go to
animation you go to Clone Wars you go to
animation Clone Wars is good
and this is where anime comes into
play baby this is why anime is
better than real actors alright
it's just inherently better
what else is a top series if I
asked you to put two in the octagon and i removed the caribbean really not to me no i'm i i love parts of the caribbean but
there's no but like but there's there's that's just me like going to eat at like denny's right
like i'm not i'm aware of what it is the um the three christian bale batmans as a trio i like those i don't like superhero movies
okay kyle doesn't like maybe that's my problem no taylor doesn't like it either i i like superhero
movies i don't like the chris nolan batman movies after like going back the the uh the second one
is the only good one um and it's only good because of um the joker uh but but the but but like i don't
like christian bale's batman
i guess i think if you really go back i've seen a bunch of like youtube videos where they dissect
those movies and like a lot of the action is that shaky cam bullshit and like some of the
chase scenes like particularly the one in the second one where the joker's chasing them and
he's like got an rpg and like a sliding door truck or something, and he's trying to destroy the convoy that's got the prisoner in it.
It's like, well, we don't even know what's happening right here.
They're pausing it frame by frame.
They're like, where even is the Joker right now?
Right?
You see the Joker.
I'm not going to get this perfectly right, but it's on target.
I think I might have seen the same YouTube video.
He's back left of the truck pointing an RPG at him,
and then all of a sudden they're back right of the truck.
And the same thing is happening.
And then he might be in front.
And it's a jump cut every like two seconds.
Nothing flows through.
I've seen another video with Jackie Chan showing fights.
And he's like, I hate American fight scenes.
They're the worst.
He's like, they jump constantly because these people can't fight.
He's not pretending to be a UFC guy, but he can do those movements.
So they don't have to do a jump cut every two seconds when Jackie Chan does his fight.
Instead, they just go again and again.
And he's like, it's expensive.
So when he makes, are they Chinese movies?
I'm not sure.
But he's like, when he makes chinese he gets uh freedom
to shoot a scene for four days and like a fight scene four days in a row 180 shots at attempts
at it i should say and um and he gets exactly the scene that he's wanting because some of the stuff
is hard to do it's one long cut where they're jumping over bars and flipping and do whatever
but you go to america and it's
easy to get two seconds right and then they just handle it all in editing and they'll they'll do
that same scene instead of like four days and 180 attempts in an hour or two and then they just edit
it together as a mess is that not why i mean maybe let me rephrase that that is one of the reasons
why i enjoyed um what was it?
Dunk,
not Dunkirk.
Was it Dunkirk?
The,
what was the movie with 1917,
1917,
the one shot,
like,
like that movie was incredibly put together with as long of a continuous
shot as possible.
And it really noticeably helps the movie feel more authentic and enjoyable and engaging than if you're like
ah bomb over here cut to the sky behind like the fucking tank and you know like it was engaging
that movie was like uh in my opinion i felt like the story and the flow and stuff was a six out of
ten and the videography made it an eight out of ten like that one long continuous cut like it it got me watching and then like
invested to where the tricks were you know like yeah there's a scene where they walk through um
it's world war one movie so he's walking through not a tunnel what do you call the trench trench
thank you he's walking through a trench and like maybe the camera goes right up against a guy and
comes off and i'm like oh I bet that was a cut.
That had to be a cut.
Because otherwise it would be very difficult to get all this perfect for six minutes in a row.
Then I'm watching it.
I'm looking for the cuts, looking for the things.
I really enjoyed that movie.
Even though I think the story was a 6 out of 10.
The movie was an 8.
It was just an enjoyable.
It got you engaged in other ways and it reminded me of gravity it was there was a there was something it there was something about the
special way it was done that made it uh better than it would have been if it was just shot
normally and i know like if you've seen gravity only on a television it probably doesn't hold up
too well but i watched that shit in 3d and it's the only movie i've ever watched in 3d that it mattered and it like added so much to it we were watching that in 3d imax and i just remember there's this
scene where sandra bullock is like trying to hold on to the outside of like uh space station or
something she's like sliding down it it's like spinning away from her and she's grasping at like
these ropes that are part of like the parachute that are from a Soyuz capsule.
And those ropes are like flicking in your face and they're flicking in her face.
And she's trying to grab one so she doesn't fucking die in the vacuum of space.
And I just remember being in the theater being like, ah, I wanted to grab one too.
I need it.
Yeah, you're right.
That scene for me.
Dude, so, you know, the same way that YouTube infixed your opinion of that Joker scene in Batman, there's a scientist breaking it down.
And he's like, what?
Why is gravity acting or why is like momentum acting differently on the actor than it is on the spaceship?
They would just be flowing through together.
They wouldn't be separated at all.
And I'm like uh i didn't
think yeah neil degrasse tyson it yeah i don't think it was actually him but
the star chart is wrong you dumbasses by the way everybody ignore my sexually assault charges
wait neil degrasse tyson has some he did they were they weren't real they weren't there yeah i was
but in the grand scheme of the cosmos,
what is one felony?
That's what I say.
Welcome back, Taylor.
That was fucking funny.
Were you talking about
him ruining movies, or were you just
talking about your own frustration with that movie?
We were just talking about that scene.
Yeah.
We were talking about our favorite trilogies, actually,
and our favorite series of films.
What's your favorite trilogy, Taylor?
I can't guess.
Harry Potter.
Actually, Harry Potter.
So, Taylor, what we were doing,
we were putting two trilogies in a title bout.
So, obviously, maybe your champ is Lord of the Rings. Who's your contender? we were doing we were putting two series of movies two trilogies in a title bout so obviously
maybe your champ is uh lord of the rings who's your contender oh fuck lord of the rings definitely
my number one and then name a couple you guys have said to just jog my i went with marvel
you said the caribbean pirates of the caribbean kyle what did you say it's lord of the rings for
me for sure.
I can't think of any other really good trilogies.
I mean, a lot of them suck.
A lot of the trilogies.
The third movie is guaranteed to suck almost every time.
If you look at The Matrix, for example.
The third Matrix is horrific.
The first Matrix was great, and there's no others.
That's right.
The first Matrix is the only good one.
The only guy I know that liked the second.
Yeah, I didn't like the second or the third
I watched them all in theaters I was a huge Matrix fan
I uh
what about John Wick
they're making a fourth one
that's a really good trilogy honestly
it is but it's not
I don't
it's a great trilogy for what it is
like a really enjoyable action
movie full of everything you want it to be.
But I don't know if it holds up to Lord of the Rings.
I was having trouble thinking of anything
that I would match up against Lord of the Rings.
Obviously, I'm very biased.
The Harry Potter movies are definitely up there.
They're really good.
There are eight of them, actually.
Are there?
Yeah.
They did two for the final year
seven years oh you're right i forgot yeah but um yeah that was good like uh hunger games was
the first one was good and then they're just bad after that um i really didn't like even the
godfather you can't put in there because the godfather three godfather three is trash yeah
yeah they're i just looked at most popular.
Do we allow twos?
Like, what about Scarface?
Even though that's not like...
I don't know.
What's the sequel to Scarface?
Is there not a sequel to Scarface?
Am I misremembering?
Did I just miss...
Hold on.
Maybe I was thinking of The Godfather.
They were talking about making a sequel to Scarface
where the final scene where Tony Montana dies
is actually a dream.
Oh, that would be so stupid.
Thankfully they didn't do that.
Yeah, this was not Scarface.
Yeah, that would be awful.
Yeah, and then Clint Eastwood had
the Man With No Name trilogy.
It's for a few dollars more.
I can't think of the other two.
I mean, I guess to have a successful trilogy,
you need to have a really strong IP.
Yeah, it's hard.
It's really hard.
I see a lot of movies that come out
that are supposed to be part of trilogies,
and then it just fails so badly
they never do the rest of them.
You're talking about bad movie trilogies.
This is so long ago.
It was Patrice O'Neill, RIP.
He was joking, doing a bit on the ona about how sci-fi channel movies they will rip off exactly a movie that already exists
and just give it a different name and so he was like yeah like they got jurassic park on there
except it's not jurassic park it's dinosaur island do you guys remember that with the sci-fi movies
did you guys not have sci-fi
channel I did and I did but I
avoided it but it was terrible
so bad all the movies I remember
I remember watching the original
doom movies on sci-fi
with I guess it was the rock
who was the rock and
Carl Urban
and yeah oh my god what like now that i'm thinking
about it like the list of of notable uh series that lasts more than two movies is very thin
yeah it's slim you know what i lied i got one land before time that's my that's my get out of here they all went direct to DVD
after that first one fuck Littlefoot
shut the fuck up alright Littlefoot
and Ducky and
Spike and I don't remember any
of them Petrie
and Sarah no you know
okay power rankings
Littlefoot obviously on the top
we'll start with the top and bottom Sarah
very bottom Sarahah didn't
do anything but be a worry wart the entire time just ruined she would berate spike spike was the
retarded member of the group who only knew how to be or of of the group could he even speak no no
he's he was a hill and keller with vision and he could eat all he could do is eat and i just
remember being like
why can't you just let spike eat the leaves there's so many leaves like it doesn't matter
running out of leaves he didn't shit and then petrie was all right it what about rex the like
the friends for dinner oh my god that's just stuck in my head they had a friends for dinner so i need
to figure it out.
I remember that one.
I may have been one of the many, many direct to DVD sequels.
There were many.
Yeah.
And they kind of had more time,
time of the great giving.
All right.
Friends for dinner.
Land before time.
Five is what I'm thinking about.
Which one is the time of the great giving?
Probably three.
Holy shit. i didn't i didn't remember that they made so many of them it's three oh my god i'm a land before time stan yeah i just realized
land before time is great oh ducky we didn't even mention ducky i don't think ducky
oh you did okay i did i did yeah littlefoot solid littlefoot's We didn't even mention Ducky, I don't think. Ducky. No, we did. Oh, you did? I did.
Littlefoot, solid.
Littlefoot's parents didn't really care.
Grandparents.
Oh, yeah, grandparents because his parents are dead.
They only showed up occasionally.
They got the Bambi treatment or the Bambi
mom-dad-mom treatment.
Yeah, T-Rex got her. Spike, definitely number two
in the power rankings. Petrie was alright.
What were those leaves called?
What were those leaves that they were always after called?
Yeah, they were always trying to eat them.
Miracle leaf. It was something.
It was... Let me Google.
What fucking leaves were they looking for?
There's a special...
Star leaf? Is it a star leaf?
I don't know. They're gigantic. Oh, yes! It was a star leaf!
Yes, it was! It was called the star leaf.
I remember it landing. I gigantic yes it was it was called the star leaf I remember it landing
I remember the scene of it landing on
water and then I believe
Spike crushing it just crushing
the shit out of that leaf
oh man yeah
yeah star leaves man it is weird
the stuff you remember
I remember
I remember like
the last time I watched Land Before Time
was on a long car trip
where we had a nine-inch CRT TV with a DC power adapter
plugged into my cigarette lighter in my Ford Explorer.
And I put that VHS tape in there and I watched that shit.
Like, that's how old that movie is.
I remember we would do that.
Other good ones, we'd have The Sandlot.
That was just watched to
death. What other road trip
movies do we have? The Sandlot got
run through the dirt.
The Freckleface. Goonies.
Goonies was solid.
What was the other one that Freckleface kid was in? Was it The Green
Mile where they played soccer?
I don't know.
Not The Green Mile. The Big Green. The Green Mile, very different type of movie. I wish that little redhead kid had been in The mile where they played soccer uh the not the green mile the green big green yeah green mile
very different i wish that little redhead could have been in the green mile which they'd fucking
executed that now if you don't win this game you're getting you're getting
just like the bees or whatever the fuck come and consume the kid percy is the soccer coach
just super cruel sociopath just step on the rat like Percy is the soccer coach. Just a super cruel sociopath.
Just step on the rat like it's the ball.
Oh, man. I gotta watch some
Land Before Time.
Rekindle that. I wonder if they have a
watch party for that.
Oh, on Amazon? When was it made?
Like, 84?
It started in 88.
It must have been rolling through the late 90s
at least, right?
I remember watching it when I was like 4.
I remember watching it when I was
like I said, VHS in the car
old.
Same exact thing.
Woody actually liked The Land Before Time
senior in high school.
He came out for him.
Woody actually lived through that?
His best friend was ducky.
What do you give us the truth?
I remember running from the T-Rex.
Yeah, the land before fucking time.
It's a pretty sad movie.
I guess it's kind of,
they do take that Bambi element
with the mom dying right at the beginning,
but it is a pretty sad movie.
I mean, it's a pretty sad movie i mean
it's a bunch of orphans stumbling around in the wilderness for 80 minutes yeah i saw it it's a
bunch of dinosaurs like right at the time where like the world has changed and uh and like dinosaur
living conditions are on the on the decline and like the leaves that they eat their main source
of food is running out and um like one of those long-necked dinosaurs like the leaves that they eat, their main source of food is running out.
And like one of those long neck dinosaurs,
like the baby,
it's mom gets killed by a T-Rex.
And then it meets up with all these other orphans of like various species of dinosaurs.
And they're trying to make it to the,
like the,
the hidden Valley ranch of the world.
And we're,
we're like the little guys,
grandparents live and,
you know, going through all sorts of hardships
and you know standard cartoon shit as they but it's kind of adult there yeah it wasn't disney
or pixar it was like this independent studio i don't i couldn't tell you what it was but it was
it was a good show and it wasn't like that i remember it wasn't like veggie tales or it was
like trying to punch you in the face with morals it was more like watch these dinosaurs try and figure things out and usually it didn't
go well you ever seen the brave little toaster yes i've seen the brave little he's got his lamp
friend he's got his blank heated blanket friend yeah oh i remember this is very similar woody
this is a movie about a boy okay yeah it is a movie this is a story about a boy. Okay. Yeah, it is a movie. This is a,
this is a story about a boy who goes off to college and leaves all his like
worldly possessions back in his bedroom.
You know,
he's got his childhood bedroom.
Well,
all of those possessions were like toy worlds or a toy story style,
sentient beings.
So his lamp,
his vacuum cleaner,
his toaster,
all of these like household appliances and shit
are like sad because timmy left them and so they they start walking through the wilderness
to like go back go find their boy and you have to imagine like a vacuum cleaner a lamp and a toaster
and i can't remember the other characters like trudging through the literal wilderness they get there at the end they get there to his new college apartment and he's got all these new
cool appliances right he's got like a like a laptop and like like a um um what do you call
that fucking um lamp with the goo in it uh lava lamp like he's got lots of cool shit like that
like like college kid shit and they're all like he's got lots of cool shit like that like like college
kid shit and they're all like he doesn't even fucking like you anymore wait do they have their
curse words in this he's got a i like that there are in my version you don't think he has a brand
new toaster by now idiot like like talking about eight slots he can make toast for all the bitches he's fucking.
Yeah, it's really sad there at the end when the new appliances make fun of the old appliances
and they downtroddenly walk away and get taken to a junkyard.
Oh my God, the junkyard scene is so sad
because then the Samsung appliances, you're right,
come out and are like, we're voice activated.
You can fuck off.
He's going to be much happier with us.
And then they're so dejected.
That brave little toaster is so sad as he slinks into the muck.
I was just looking up to try and remember.
Is there a happy ending?
They grind them up.
They recycle them.
I don't think that's true.
No, no.
The boy runs to the junkyard and apparently he missed all those appliances
and shit so much.
And he like hugs them and like takes them back.
And it's a,
it doesn't make any sense.
It's a really shitty toy story,
but this came out in 1987.
And so at the time it was the best toy story that there was.
So the boy is aware that these,
that all appliances could talk.
And we're just,
no,
he doesn't know.
He just really missed his,
his wet blanket toaster. And that was one't know. He just really missed his wet blanket
and toaster. That was one
of them. Yeah, his electric blanket.
That was like the... Wait, his electric
blanket was wet? That's the problem.
The blanket had a speech impediment, I want to
say. It was like, where am I?
We gonna get there.
It was like a little kid with a lisp.
I think they called him Blanky
too. Yeah. Oh my God, you're right. His name's Blanky.
And then look at some of the...
You're talking about Brave Little Toaster.
I think it was like three years before my time.
This one...
It's funny because in the list
of the characters' names,
you can tell they named some of them, and then they
stopped entirely. And so there's
Blanky, Plugsy, who is the lamp, Toaster is names you can tell they named some of them and then they stopped entirely and so there's blanky
plugsy who is the lamp toaster is just the toaster lampy is the other lamp and then there's just air
conditioner stereo entertainment center toaster oven and computer and spanish announcer and then
there's just one says black and so they just they didn't
even need every character they got winky and winky and sleepy and nod done and then that was it
i am not watching this movie and i never will it's a cartoon for children made in 87 avoid it
this isn't a topic you guys aren't selling this one. This is childhood nostalgia time.
Certainly not movie pick time.
What did Ebert say about this one?
One jaw down.
One jaw down.
I believe that's a stroke joke.
Cancer.
Am I wrong?
It works on a couple of levels. It was the cancer,
yeah.
Why would his jaw be down then?
I'm not saying he had a paralyzed face.
I don't know. His jaw is gone.
They removed his jaw.
I don't know that.
That might be sadder than...
Would you rather have a paralyzed face or
remove half your jaw and have to replace it?
Paralyzed face.
Paralyzed face, probably.
I'd remove the jaw. Actually, no,
they could put some titanium in there or something.
No, unless they could make me look like,
what's that Bond villain? Or was it
a Bond villain who literally had a titanium jaw?
That was Jaws.
Yeah, Jaws. Hey, that guy!
That guy!
You know how humans
are very attuned to faces that aren't right like you know
it's very hard to animate human face for that reason his face is so wrong it just that's not
what human let's mock this old man with his retarded face um wait what i thought we were
this was a fictitional oh no this is a real man. A national hero, actually.
So he was a movie reviewer
in Chicago.
Let me link you a picture of what he looks like
from a fictional movie.
So he was...
He wasn't like a super handsome dude or anything,
but he certainly looked normal.
They cleaned it up. Look at all the other photos.
He looks normal
in half of these, and the other ones, he looks like a...
I think you're seeing before and after.
Yeah, you're seeing the before this happened.
Because I don't think there was that much time
between when this happened and he died.
And it was surgically removed.
He no longer looks like a ventriloquist.
It wasn't like it was a slow devolving thing.
Like he just...
Yeah, it's pretty rapid.
He does look like a...
Yeah, here's a picture of him now.
What do you mean now? he dead I mean oh my god
now
I was reviewing a movie
and I wasn't entirely sure what to
give it Kyle
do you know what you would rate
a brave little
toaster I would give that
movie
two candy bars.
Two candy bars out of
the five here.
A child will do anything
for a candy bar.
I'd even suck my pig
eating cock if I offered.
Oh, you nailed it with that.
On cock. You nailed it.
Cock.
I gotta work on that one.
You know, this is where the word comes in.
Doing impressions of people nobody knows what they sound like.
So this is Mason Verger.
And Taylor is going for Mason Verger from the TV series.
Yes.
That image that I showed, that horrific one, is Mason Verger from the movie Hannibal.
Yeah, the movie.
Wait, how is this person involved with Hannibal?
So this person's sister was a patient of Hannibal Lecter
when he was a practicing psychiatrist.
And so he got mixed up with him in that way.
This guy was a child molesting sociopath,
also multimillionaire,
who was like heir to this slaughterhouse
fortune. You're telling me
this guy's not a good person. No, he's a bad guy.
The worst person.
Oh, then I no longer feel sympathy.
At one point, Hannibal drugs him
and convinces him to peel his own face off
and feed it to dogs.
Yeah.
I'm really interested in this.
So, like, peel off with a blade himself yeah like cut
his own face off in strips and feed it to dogs wow how do you manage heavily he was heavily drugged
at the time oh fair and then like yeah the handle guy is crazy and so he's got him drugged up like
tied like not even tied just sitting in a chair and the guy's like i'm hungry because he doesn't talk like that yet because his face isn't all fucked up and hannibal's just like
why do you not just eat your face and like gives him a knife and the guy's like yeah and just
starts cutting pieces of his face off and uh yeah pretty pretty good kind of drugs would that take
pot not even once kids not even once alcohol and caffeine
Nancy Grace
is she still around
I don't think she's on Fox anymore
I think she's alright
I think she's alive what's she up to
she's not dead
she is joining Fox Nation
the network streaming service with a show airing
in January 2020
so she's currently on their streaming service with a show airing in January 2020. So she's currently on
their streaming service.
My problem with her is that she
was a liar.
Look, you can disagree,
but when you come from a position
of manipulation and dishonesty,
that's when you suck.
And her thing about Pot turning you into
a murderous, rampaging
assassination tool, pot doesn't
do that but she stuck with it for years yeah fuck her yeah how much did she get paid for it though
a bunch i don't know how much is she that big of a draw at this point
apparently she was 25 million from ge from Lincoln, Georgia. Holy shit.
Good for her, I guess.
Lying your way to the top.
I prefer lying your way to the top to involve a Weinstein
situation.
Where you also get credit for Lord of the Rings
and stuff along the way.
Lying on your back on your way to the top.
That's the way to do it.
We're big
wine scene apologists here.
This is Woody's
third zinger of the night. He's
on fire right now. He's had
three real good ones. All these lines
stolen from Tucker's pre-show
rant.
Oh, man.
Did you guys see that a lot of people are upset about this new netflix show
called cuties cuties i saw it was trending on twitter today and it's called cuties and everybody
tons of people are being like what the fuck is wrong with you like this is flagrantly sexualizing
like 10 and 11 year olds and from the pictures it seems to be. Let's watch it, baby.
I would love to see it.
I don't know if we can watch it, but literally the show itself that was going to go on Netflix has a 16 plus rating on it.
And it's like, well, it's 11 year olds twerking and dancing.
The original description of the show.
So your argument is that 11 year olds should be able to see this.
I'm saying that this shouldn't be a program that's made you should not
is is taking the the i'm 16 so 16 year old porn is fine angle i guess that's an angle you could
take if you want to stick a bad position so what taylor is getting in is that if 11 year olds can
twerk 11 year olds can watch this oh i'm i I just clicked. It won an award at the Sundance Film Festival.
Yeah, a bunch of smarmy weirdos who think this is okay.
What, you think the elite would just be interested in young women?
Wow, this is Netflix's trailer for it?
This is not good.
Oh, this is not good.
Amy Eleven becomes fascinated with the twerking dance crew, hoping to join them.
She starts to explore her femininity, defying her family's traditions.
Meanwhile, there's an 11-year-old girl on the cover, bent over with her back arched.
They're wearing...
It's like, what the fuck is this?
The girl on the left is back at her arch for the twerk, too.
This is pretty tough.
What the fuck is wrong with people at Netflix? Who thinks this is okay is pretty tough this is pretty tough what netflix who thinks this is okay obviously the people wearing leather pants
yeah and like bare midriff with full makeup on absolutely outrageous that they that they made
this 11 they're gonna cut her clit off for sure after this oh look at that family she's got
oh it's it's it's female genital manipulation for you, my dear.
Netflix.
The artwork was the problem.
We're deeply sorry for the inappropriate artwork we used for cuties.
It was not okay.
It was not representative.
Hold on.
I want to know.
What are you reading from who?
Netflix.
You're reading from the Netflix.
Apologies.
The people who signed off already.
Of course, they're going to be.
The artwork was the wrong choice. Really? How about the
scenes where you have 11-year-old girls twerking in
suggestive outfits? That seems a little more troublesome
than the artwork that you pulled to represent that show, right?
They updated the picture in the description,
and they feel like the artwork doesn't represent
the French film that won the award at Sundance.
Have you watched the trailer?
No. I just did.
I'm watching the trailer, and it seems
far less awful than the artwork did
i i can see why people like the name is just weird but like i don't think i am way less alarmed by it
it was it is it is more like a it seems more like a fuck what was that like sisterhood of the
trepon that's stupid it was it's it's not like as sexualized
as the artwork made it seem still not a good look but also like i'm not watching that trailer i was
not like i can't believe it i've done porn reviews before so i'll watch this let everybody know how
i feel and even here you said tucker you were like the kids aren't as sexualized as we think
from that poster it is still they're still doing it they still have 11 year olds dancing in suggestive ways on this like yeah but it's not
okay but you haven't seen it right you're just going by the twitter feedback on it i am taylor
go watch the the thing it is it is it is um choreographed dancing in modern dance style
so like for whatever like twerking in the strictest sense of like hey you
like you're literally popping ass to to be sexually suggestive versus like you're using it as a dance
like i feel weird defending this but also from what i watched i wouldn't my first thought was
not like this is objectively sexualized and should be taken down.
But I'm only watching the trailer.
Okay, so twerking, where's that kind of line for you?
Like, twerking is not the kind of dance that in the movie.
There was no twerking in the trailer.
I just, it is in the show, though, because that's what the description of Netflix was.
It said an 11-year-old starts twerking and does all that.
For sure.
Amy Eleven becomes fascinated with a twerking and like and does all that and so like sure yeah like here amy 11 becomes
fascinated with the twerking dance crew like that's twerking is is an explicitly sexual dance
style like explicitly it is isn't it when it came up when it became a thing like it's known yeah
no like i said it's like i agree with you on that it is no it's not it's light pole dancing where
there's an insinuation of sexuality yes yes i agree with that statement
i also think that it seems like from watching the trailer that this is um this is like that
is not the focus of the show the show is about like inner family conflict whatever the fuck well
the conflict is that their traditional daughter in a religious family wants to be a twerking whore now.
Well, you two be bouncing your ass in the street.
And then she's like, shut up, dad.
I'm going to go shake my ass in front of adults at Netflix corporate and you can't stop me.
All I'm saying is it was significantly less awful when I watched it.
I don't think that it's a great show.
And no, I will not be watching it.
I will not be watching it.
I will not be watching it.
I will be tuning in.
No, it just, it like who,
I can't believe that whatever their billboard and their blurb got put
through creative and like no less than 30 people were like, yep,
that's the one.
Isn't that my one? There had to be a few who were like, yep, that's the one. Isn't that mind-blowing?
There had to be a few who were like,
am I crazy here?
I'm the only one who thinks 11-year-olds
and doggy style is bad.
And you know what that's indicative of?
All of them at the end of the day
knew that that art would get approved
by their higher-ups.
It did.
It got approved by the marketing team.
It got approved by the exec above it.
Like, come on. That's approved by the exec above it.
Come on.
That's not cool.
Well, it's been canceled.
Oh, no, it hasn't. No, they just changed it.
I think they feel like the show's actually not bad.
The artwork and the name.
I also think it's like a porn thing.
Yeah, I also
believe that this would not even be a story
if they had just not had the cover be
like four underage girls in in dance outfits which like this is a greater conversation on
is cheerleading objectifying young women like that's like what we're getting yeah absolutely
it is i am also on your side here but i'm saying that you're not wanting to fight about it no tucker
someone's gotta be on that side and then debate me like i'm just like it's it's it's very much
how you present it and like child pageants and cheerleading and all that very fucking weird to
me and i will never feel normal just a second ago i put myself in this position of network
artflix person and said am I the only person here?
Like, why do I feel like the crazy one for seeing this as sexualized high school cheerleaders?
It's like you guys all see this, right?
Their skirts barely cover their junk and they're meant to flop around.
They're pleated with extra fabric and whatnot.
You call them bloomers, but they're just panties.
There's not a significant difference between bloomers and panties
that I can see.
Explain why America supports the most dangerous sport in the world
and pushes it on young women who have to do it in skimpy outfits
because the most injuries happen through uh cheerleading do they make sense
i guess i know yeah i don't know it's number one but i definitely i'm on the same team with it's
way up there you know it might be more than football i'm not sure but uh i i find myself
like alone in this position like this is crazy these girls are i just don't know what it's really
look if it was a gymnastics,
I can kind of get on board,
but the little mini skirts and bloomers and shit,
like it feels like they're doing it on purpose.
Now,
like they should be wearing some more.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I don't know.
More appropriate.
African outfit might involve long pants.
Yeah.
Especially football season.
It's cold.
Yeah.
Or just lose the skirts ah the other direction
i see the problem the problem seems to be okay it looks like the in in terms of most injuries
for high school athletes uh cheerleading is fifth behind baseball soccer football basketball
so the sports.
So I, yeah.
Well, behind it is wrestling.
It's right ahead of math.
And martial arts.
It's right ahead of math.
I mean, excuse me, math.
That's this equation, bro.
It's just two down and a half type.
So I'm like, lame, gonna be cool
math teacher.
You didn't nail your grinds because you're not at
50% level. Can you picture that?
Something really lame and gay like that
in a movie. They're like, man, I'm not
reaching these gates.
You bust out a skateboard.
Whoa, you see Mr. Martinez on that half
pipe? He's not
lame at all.
Damn, what a dumb plan to relate with me.
I love it.
I'm a unique kid.
Wasn't that Edward James Olmos in that first movie?
Like the one where he teaches the kids to be good at math
by connecting with them?
He's pretty sure.
Hispanic?
Yeah.
And they're all kids who weren't doing math well enough.
Yeah, he was like the problem class.
He's really bald.
It's the same guy who plays Adama in Battlestar Galactica.
You're right.
Although I didn't think of it as the same guy.
Yeah.
I like that movie.
It's called Stand and Deliver.
There's one that's completely different where Tom Berenger goes to a
school of misfits and he just beats the shit
out of them.
There's two
versions of that
teaching misfits
school movie theme.
And the one that I remember...
Maybe?
The one where a girl goes undercover?
I remember it like i remember
it being like they did a bunch of spelling bees or some shit jesus christ if you google movie
where the mexican teaches dummies math that comes up first result
bill burr's got that joke about this how like they keep making that same movie over and over where the white person
goes to teach the underprivileged kids like like like like anything math or reading or whatever
and he's all and it's kind of the same joke is like the one he's got about how um you've got the
the the black team from name a sport who are trying to like get, but somebody's trying to prevent them. He's always got that racist white
guy. Get out of the pool!
Yeah, this is my pool!
Do you guys see the movie It's Old, but
Lean on Me with Morgan Freeman in the star?
I don't think I've ever... I'll have to look it up.
I've heard of it.
Am I right about that?
That's a song.
I am right. The movie's Lean on Me and the star's Morgan Freeman. I'm googling? That's a song. I am right.
The movie's Glee on me.
I'm trying to Google it.
I'm Googling it on a fucking text box.
That's boomer energy.
Yeah, it didn't work, did it?
Nothing's coming up.
It's Morgan Freeman.
Yeah, so it's a real story.
And there's principal came to a high school.
He carried a baseball bat around and he
like cleaned up all the gangsters out of it or at least you know tried to an east side high that is
the high school that my wife was like zoned for if she went to public school jesus yeah
so did she have her principal walk around with a baseball bat she did not go to public school
yeah she went to an all girls catholic school
which apparently wasn't nearly as much fun as we've been told it is
i will tell you yeah man i went to a quaker school that place was
fun the quaker school we had i from the i've never the quakers the quakers are great man
they know what they just sit there they go like we had once a week meeting for worship where you
sat in the meeting room and you sat in silence for 20 to 30 minutes and the end and everything
is facing inward like a bunch of pews there's no like stage and if you just felt compelled to speak you'd
stand up and one time this girl stood up and was like i just feel like it's wrong that i have to
support gays because this goes against my religion and then sat back down and i swear to god i've
never like like the thickness of that air was the most awful, weird shit.
Because like the whole Quaker like ideas, except everyone, no matter what, doesn't give a shit.
Like whatever, as long as they're not awful people.
That was a very interesting application of speak your mind.
I like their oatmeal.
It's whole meals fire.
It's great.
So my one of my what is a young kid under 12 my best friends
went to quaker school and uh we checked one out for her hope for high school but uh um she didn't
get in i don't know she was like she'd love that i don't wonder how that would have worked out what
is the alternative universe version of her that went to quaker school like i don't know she has She has a lot of tattoos.
I feel like whenever anyone, not Hope, any child, whenever they're super restricted and held down and they don't get to do anything fun.
They're just guarded and protected from anything interesting in the world. As soon as they get free, they just break loose and things go crazy.
Does that describe Quaker school to you tucker no no all right so and so
the school that i went to friend school in baltimore what it's the oldest uh school it's
the oldest private school in the country it was founded in 1784 or whatever so like older than fucking literally
everything except for maybe like georgetown i think it is and so going there was like the options in
baltimore for whatever reason baltimore has some of the most highly concentrated amounts of private
schools in the country i don't understand the reason for it it's not like we're in new york elite it's just like in the one mile radius of my school there was boys latin uh a catholic school loyola blakefield a
catholic school rin mar of all girls uh catholic school there was you know like there was a glen
elg a hebrew school fucking ton of shit right and we were the quaker school and what i enjoyed was that our school was
the by far the most laid back and like do whatever you want no dress code outside of no blue jeans
don't understand that part it was like yeah no working class blue jeans and no logos on your
shirt but like you could wear anything else you wanted to versus like wearing a suit and tie to school so they were very go ahead in the in hopes high school you could leave
your books like in the hallway if you wanted to uh they weren't real strict it seemed about getting
to class on time this was insanity to me i don't know where did hope go to what not where what kind
of school did hope go to so i can you remember because to a charter school but this was a quaker school in north north carolina that we yeah i don't i
don't know if that's like the carolina friends school don't know for sure it probably was
because that like that's that whole like charter of of east coast quaker they're they're all like
the friends school like it's a it's really nice I'm looking at it it's a big campus
Yeah this looks
Fine they've got cheerleaders
Though and they're wearing the same
Outfits we were describing I never
We never had cheerleaders we had a
Cheering team but they did not have an
Out like they did not have cheerleading
Outfits they had to wear I believe
Like tights and shit it was not
It was nowhere near as sexualized as
like going to the like like baltimore county high school football game and you get like
the real shit you get the real shit what year was your school founded i think you said it when you
1784 i think it was look friend school of baltimore oh it's because the morristown friend
school was really old too and i was like i wonder because i i don't know i was from there and i
the morristown french school was really old too and i was like i wonder because i i don't know i was from there and i 1785 yo 85 yeah yeah so i mean all i know is that i really enjoyed the
at the time it was a very weird thing to like i'm not quaker so like sitting in silence for
30 minutes every week to like reflect on your inner light don't give a shit still don't but like i do appreciate what they
were trying to do with it and i appreciate the school like the like i had gay teachers
like well i know they're gay but like lesbian teachers uh teachers who were strictly muslim
and like were head guard like it was it was a very communal very uh uh wide ranging community of like learning so i appreciate
yeah very diverse like i appreciated that versus going to a school like we had a pedophile
we did we did our uh our gym teacher our gym teacher got fired it because he was peeping through the gym teacher's office
watching guys change.
Which is fucking weird.
You were with me until the end.
I was like, cool, cool.
Our gym teacher was a grade A meat gazer
also, except he didn't even have the decency
to hide it. He would just stand
right in the middle of the locker room and as you're showering
in the little corridor, like
naked as you shower.
You showered in your school? single day i had gym yeah we never we had showers but
nobody used them yeah it was like second or third hour when i'd have gym and it's like
i'm i'm not gonna be the stinky weird kid in fifth sixth seventh hour like just well our gym
our gym classes were at end of day so like they they knew what
they were doing they're like all right you do your gym then get the fuck out of here like nobody
wants to be sweaty in french class i scheduled mine for the last period of the day so yeah for
that purpose but nobody showered at my school either we showered yeah it was like we would
try to schedule towards the end of the day. Just couldn't always make it work.
Yeah.
Nobody showered.
I wasn't welcome to the world of public showers until very recently.
Yeah.
Well, you know, everybody's got to storm that beach eventually.
Yes.
Kyle, shower after shower, and someday you'll have seen as many cock as me.
Or just go to enough LA fitnesses, and then you'll see seen as many cock as me. Better not be doing any meat gazing. Or just go to enough LA fitnesses and then you'll see so much.
I was so afraid of being accused
of doing some meat gazing.
I was just,
I wanted to poke my own eyeballs out
every time I was walking out
of that fucking shower room.
I was just like looking up,
up high and to the left every time.
Just, you know,
you don't want to be weird about it though.
But then you get the other guy
who puts like one foot on the bench and talks to you
like, bro. No one did that in prison.
That's a gym shit.
And then,
or I'll be seated
and they walk by at eye level.
You see the joke, right?
It's like your nose.
Bro, that's my nose.
That's my nose.
Yeah. That's like a
Seinfeld episode
you took out my nose George
what are you going to do about this Jerry
doesn't make me gay
I don't have
nasal aids
yeah
you won't get accused of meat gazing unless you're meat gazing you know
and you're not staring at dick so you're fine and usually at least it was the way it was like of
course it was high school we didn't have separate showers it was just one big room everybody was
just like talking and joking around in there like you would face outward chatting with people it
wasn't like everybody's hurrying up a cursory glance is nothing to be ashamed of unless you're in prison unless you're in prison really in prison
different i can't relate yeah there's different rules in prison so look i can understand that
we did so but you you think people were more apt to accuse of meat gazing a quick peek and you're
like bro they'd address that i think it
could be a problem i think it could definitely be a problem one more gotcha for me in potential
prison i literally walked out of the shower staring up into the like the showers on the
right side so i looked up into the left and i and i like use my peripheral to guide myself out of
the room i noticed that snow when people would walk behind him he would always turn around and
so that no one could be behind him.
And he would cover his balls and his dick like a double hand thing like this, like ready to fucking fight if he needs to.
What the fuck?
Wait, I don't understand.
The more I hear about this, the more I don't.
No, no, no.
Normally your back is to the shower curtain because you're in stalls.
If someone was going to pass behind him, and you always knew because you announced it before you left to shower,
he would turn around and face outward and cover himself
so that he couldn't be approached from behind while he was naked.
He was ready to fight if he needed to.
Another reason we would keep our backs to it
is because Joe would come over and pee on your leg sometimes.
So you had to be careful that he wouldn't do that.
You had to be careful pissing Joe. Guys, I don't think this prison stuff sounds very fun i think i'm gonna try and avoid it
i don't know i don't think high school sounds very fun i think i'm gonna avoid that too
yeah i guess i guess you have a much different perception of meat casing since you didn't shower
with other people up until jail i'm so blown away that jail better, or prison has better showers than my high school did.
It absolutely does, the way you've described them.
Our high school showers were like a cesspool.
I don't think I ever saw anybody use them.
Ours were clean daily.
And I don't mean like a once over,
like someone went in there with a pressure washer
and disinfected.
Wow.
Is that not a little different
because you guys live there versus it is an option?
You have to shower there versus I don't have to shower here.
Sure.
It's definitely different.
You have to shower.
In fact, if you don't shower, it could really cause some problems.
They don't want any stinky people around them.
Our high school showers weren't terribly dirty.
That never struck me as an issue dirty, but there was nothing resembling any semblance of privacy think starship trooper shower scene nice yeah no ours were the same way it was a room with
eight shower heads no curtains and they were just there yeah i'm not gonna go shower in there like
you almost have to so the across the way there's a little bit of a gap but to the person next to you
you could be in a situation where you're pretty much showering with them you know like you know if you're doing your left
shoulder and they're doing you right the two of you are like me and my mic hey bro you know like
yeah no it's normal i always come at my knees
but you don't no but uh but yeah no there was just there wasn't the distance there should have been
yeah i was thankful that we had like stalls to shower in yeah i don't know man i'm not sending
my if i have kids they're not going to private school i know how much money my parents my tuition that my parents paid for was so absurd that like i don't i don't think i could love any
human being enough to put a kid through private school like it's it's like going to college for
their entire life like go to the public school figure it out and then like i hope you turn out
okay i appreciate their sacrifices that they made but also i'm
taking three vacations a year what do you got an electronic hookah over there it's plugged into
something he's it was just charging okay taylor does it make is that a vape? Yeah. It's pretty much done.
So I saw
a guy put on
a mask like anyone would wear
in the COVID era, an exhale.
And he just
showed what...
That's how that works.
Can you recreate it? What does it look like?
He had one of those big vaporizers.
This is just
a little one it doesn't make much um it looks exactly what you expect woody the no well smoke
goes around it i'm suspicious that's all the in the one that went through it too and it depends
on what you have i have a i have a uh double like-lining cloth with a pouch specifically for a carbon filter.
Without the carbon filter, if I blow through, it doesn't go through.
With the carbon filter, obviously, it doesn't go through.
I have a, I don't know, like a cloth poly hybrid whatever.
Some of it goes through if I blow through, but the vast majority goes everywhere else,
like on my face and everything else.
I think the person who made the video or gif I'm thinking of
was kind of trying to, he was an anti-masker,
making a point of how masks do nothing.
So I want to see a more independent test.
Also, this is not, yeah.
Okay, just puffs out the sides.
Yeah.
Also, that's not indicative of the, of how COVID could be spread through your exhale
because your smoke is not the same as carrying a virus through your water droplets.
That's vapor.
I'm sorry.
Oh, wait, I lied.
You're right.
Right.
I don't know.
And let me walk this one back. All right. Now, wait. I lied. You're right. I don't know. Let me walk this one back.
Now get a cigarette, Taylor.
I'm not a virologist, but it's my
understanding that COVID is carried on the water vapor
that you exhale, and so they're pretty good
in comparison.
Did you see the
study that they did
specifically with a range of error on like
specific types of masks and the level in which they can help prevent um spreading because this
was the this was the mass this was the study if i can pull it up that had uh that said that like
neckies you know like the bandana around your neck, actually make it worse.
Well within the realm of error,
but could make it worse than just not
wearing a mask at all.
And that was
because of the way that it splits the particles
that you're breathing out, like the material
that's made out of.
It atomizes it, so it puts them on smaller,
more easily traveled water vapors.
Yeah, it can't stop the water droplets, but it can split them in two,
and then it can make twice as many water droplets.
Oh, good.
It's like, fuck!
It's like, what is that game?
Bubbles or whatever?
I was about to say, oh, that would be funny if you only exhaled using a bubble.
You have a thing, and you were just, that's COVID.
Some people, they choose their masks, I as a protest like all right you forced me
to wear a mask i'll wear a cowboy bandana you know damn well that's not a mask it's just yeah
it's not a it's not a virus mask that's not you're just like pretending to follow the rules i mean
what i was wearing isn't a viral mask that's a surgical mask you know that's not small enough
to stop viral particles but That's not the point.
The point is to stop a
distant vapor exhale.
It's got to stop the vapor bubbles.
It's just to limit... Here it is.
The virus itself. It's to
stop you from projecting your COVID
six feet, which looking at the vapor thing
it kind of did.
The guy here is going to get it instead of that guy.
Well, I mean, hopefully you're just not broadcasting it, right? It's a hose that points at the ground instead of it kind of did like yeah it's just the guy here's gonna get it so that guy well i mean hopefully
you're just not broadcasting it right it's a hose that points at the ground instead of one where
you're shining you trust i'm assuming you're gonna trust duke university but he's wearing a mask too
what you what you've also got to think is like what's if there was a cloud of vapor around you
and you inhaled where is it coming into the mask if you're also wearing one right it's
it's the i'm the same place i don't know 95 like it is supposed to be how how do we limit it so it
is not as uh impactful as a full exhale deep inside the lungs without any like precautionary
face covering it is just like what if we can reduce
it to five feet four feet whatever but the study that i linked has i think nine different types of
masks from single cotton to double walled cotton to like like poly cotton mixes to surgical masks
to everything and they obviously this one has like a margin of error but they do show that the
general like consensus is everything is better except for the fucking necktie whatever bandanas
those things seem to not be that great i like most places like are just like just have something over
your face man then you can come in like they don't give a shit what you're actually wearing and i just i for some reason that i've had the image in my head of
how funny it would be to take one tissue and just one up two sides and shove them in your nose
and so it's just a nose plug and then the tissue he breathes i'm i'm rolling out to the club in this thing oh my god i'm i am
showing up to the club in this that's the that's the way to go man that's the mask that's what i
wear when i go outside i gotta show you i gotta show you i know you're being sarcastic but my
friend has a uh has a company has a um has a company that specifically does live music production, etc.
And they also do a bunch of parties.
They work with Notch and stuff.
They created a prototype for a way to to to have like filtered um like almost almost like jewel packs for alcohol
where you just screw it into your like one of your nozzles and then they have a straw and you
just drink through it same with nicotine yeah yeah and it's and it's locked in so it's all
completely like within the N95 thing.
But I was like, yeah, fuck it, dude.
Just build it and give it to me.
You need that thing, but it's got a carb on it, like a fucking bomb.
So you can just water reservoir and everything.
Just a full bubbler mask.
Oh, they make those.
That's right.
They sell those at fucking smoke shops.
Where you got the full gas mask, you're like a world war one commando like the shitty acrylic bongs sticking
out the front with the little metal i have a pot question i saw somewhere maybe on netflix i love
pot girl has a um the fuck is a pot cigarette called is it a roach joint it's a joint and she's
blowing it and the guy is inhaling it and i can see this smoke go straight
it wasn't she was blowing through the cigarette and the smoke went out and at least in the video
it was like a clear stream it seemed like he was inhaling well she was the blower but yeah so she
was the blower he was the inhaler it't matter. But the recipient seemed to be getting the full dose.
No.
No.
Well, what he's describing isn't like where you're rebreathing the weed.
He's describing you take the joint, put it in your mouth and blow.
And so you feed.
You've never done this.
And then the other person inhales.
And I would just blow the weed out of the joint if it's not packed well.
It has to be really packed well. Or well, with a know you're not my question is why it works i don't know
it was kind of sexy cool like i think that's the why the reason i've done that before is because
i had a girlfriend who just couldn't figure out how to fucking smoke like like she couldn't
understand the mechanics so you milk the bong and you're like pull pull pull pull like yeah yeah i would have to like load i would load
bongs for i would like blah blah blah blah all right it's full now all right and then you pull
pull the fucking car out or whatever all right now so she couldn't master the part where you're
just like inhaling inhaling like she just do wrong somehow. Like it would always go wrong.
Blow into it and just puff the weed everywhere.
You're like the water starts.
The water goes out.
It happens to all of us.
Yeah.
No,
I don't know why you do that,
but the,
that I don't,
if,
if the weed is inhaled into your lungs,
it becomes not great anymore.
Like it's irrelevant but i'm following
the thing she was blowing on the cigarette not yeah i don't know what that is but that's wrong
no i've seen that a lot i've seen that done a lot um they do that in the in the wire remember
there's that scene where one dude does it to the the guy who just got out of prison
i thought that was crack.
You know, but it was a cigarette.
But it was a joint, though, that he was blowing on.
In any case.
I don't know.
I'm not sure.
I think I saw it on Shameless, the TV show I've been watching lately.
Yeah. I saw a meme yesterday, and it was like when you hit your bong without
replacing the water first.
And it was a picture of Johnny Cash, and it said,
I hurt myself today.
Yeah.
Bro, my dumbass roommate was like, before I smoked weed,
my roommate was like, yeah, man, I've really just been trying to do new things.
I get really high all the time, but I was in college.
He was like, I just don't know where to go.
And I was like, you ever fill your bong with vodka?
He was like, no.
So he filled his, filled his bomb with bong with vodka and he will never do
that again.
That was the single handed worst idea I could have ever had in my entire
life.
I didn't do it.
He did it.
He threw up.
It was not great.
Why did he want to do that?
He was high. He was high. He wanted to get my hair. He did it. He threw up. It was not great. Why did he want to do that? He was high.
He was high.
That sounds awful.
I used to try to get it.
I've never
thrown smoking weed.
I would try to get it as cold as possible.
I would fill it up with water and then I would put the
whole bong in the freezer.
What if it was ice? You didn't have an ice catch
or anything to just drop some ice in there?
You've done that too, but I want it super cold.
Fair enough.
Nitroglycerin?
Wait, nitrous oxide?
Liquid nitrogen.
Liquid nitrogen.
You're just ripping bongs through that,
crystallizing your lung at negative
140 degrees.
You can get too cold, can40 strong point that you can get too
cold can't you
too cold I mean like
Kyle I can picture you playing games
bong in the freezer
and then the middle of it like
it's exploded I've done it so
many times with sodas like like you know you you've got like a
completely room temperature soda and you're like i want a cold soda so i throw it in the freezer
and then get high and forget and and it would i would just go oh no and i'd run open the freezer
and a coca-cola has just exploded every fucking where and every inch of the freezer is covered in
in like solid coca-cola that's frozen and i have to take every
item out and wash it in the sink with warm water to get the stickiness off i've done that once i
remember specifically there was a time where it was posted somewhere where it was like the moment
kyle remembers he left soda in the freezer and you're just sitting there then you just go
you come back i left my soda in the freezer it's okay though i've done it a bunch of times
and in case you guys are wondering um they did the math it looks like uh if you took a bong rip
full of a bong of uh liquid nitrogen the gas even though you were heating the weed would reach your lungs at approximately
100 neg or negative 120 celsius so you'd probably die you'd not be having a good time
yeah you'd just be dead that would suck i don't know how much money that much liquid nitrogen
would cost it's cheap is it really yeah if Yeah. It's going to be in there boiling because it boils at room temperature,
but you can get it fairly cheap.
People who do like animal artificial insemination,
they have big containers of it to store the semen in.
All I know is every time I go to PAX,
I see somebody pouring gallons of this shit on a CPU for like three days
straight.
Like how high do you get that clock speed?
And I'm like, I don't care.
This is a waste
of cool stuff.
Are you getting the 3080 when it drops?
Tucker, are you getting the 3080 when it drops?
Yeah, I bought the 2080
TI when it drops, even though I think
it costs like $2,200
and now it's like
$1,200. I'll pay the
premium. I don't give a shit as long as they as
long as they have a verifiable reason why it's worth any amount of money like if there is a
20% I'd say if there's a 20% increase in performance in frame rate I'll buy it hands
down if there's a 10% I'm gonna be regretful and still buy it but like the rumor is
it's gonna be a big jump like remember the 1080 came out and everyone was like oh my goodness
this thing is dramatically better than the 980 the 3080 is supposed to be one of those years
i am yeah and and i'm i'm very much in tune with it as well so you've heard the same thing
confirm yeah yeah i have i mean not confirmed because i've heard the same thing from
uh my friend shen who works at htc and five and does vr the heads of the vr team so i trust shen
in his idea of like what this could do i want coup de corps for my rendering of my videos right
because premiere has been incredible it now renders 1080 videos at like one fifth real time which is like thinking about rendering my
vegas videos in 1080p in real time is incredible but like premiere now doing that is great and then
i just want reliable 1440p at above 144 frames that way i can pass that onto the stream like i'm not i don't need 250 frames on cyberpunk
i just want like really good quality stable frame rate and good like rendering options and uh the
nvank c encoding for streaming that got much better from 1080 to 2080 like nvkc apparently
not very good to use in the 1080 well it Well, the 20 series has a specific chip for encoding.
So whenever you're trying to live stream or do anything,
if you use the NVENC C encoding on your 20 series,
there's no performance hit to your streaming PC
or to your PC in general.
Versus if you're using CPU X264,
now you're taking away CPU power from whatever computer game you're playing so as long as they improve on that i'm very happy but
it's gonna cost a fucking arm and a leg it's gonna cost like three grand i guarantee it or more
might be even more all right yeah so my sources which is the internet say it's better than that
but i don't know it's i'm only as good as what I read.
So I hope that I'm right.
We'll see.
But I need a PC upgrade more than most.
My CPU in particular is old.
And I have a 1080 Ti.
So yeah, I skipped one.
I can justify it.
You need two PCs.
None of you three need a better single PC.
You just need a slightly shittier second PC
to do all the work for whatever the fuck you want.
Like, if you're playing games off stream
and there's no real reason to broadcast it,
then fine, whatever your solo PC is fine.
But if you're trying to stream it
record it whatever offloading all of the work onto another pc even if it's like a mid box with
eight gigs of ram and like a shitty cpu it doesn't matter just put a 20 series graphics card into it
and you can play in 4k and record you know in real true quality.
You still think two PCs is the way to go?
Some people would argue that.
It's always the best way to go. Shut up.
There's not a single human
that does this for a job that would be like,
nah, you don't need two PCs. They're stupid.
That's like saying...
Pistilli does it for a job. He's pretty big time.
Does it with one PC. Pistilli?
You don't know Pistilli?
He pulls...
The Tarkov streamer.
Yeah, he's 12, 16,000 viewers.
Yeah, yeah. No, he's incredible.
I don't give a shit what he says. He's wrong.
He's not doing it.
Like, you're...
I guess the best way I could explain it
is like...
Like, you have a V6... Like a flat V6, like, yeah, yeah, like a V,
like a flat,
like a flat V six,
right?
Great.
Cool.
Put some turbo charges on it.
Is that objectively better?
Yes.
Can you debate me?
No,
like it is just better in every way.
Is it necessary?
Maybe not.
But like,
if you want to get it,
this isn't like a debate of like,
maybe I should render my videos differently. Like if you want the ultimate experience of playing the game you want to play in the quality you
want to play and having your stream and videos be recorded in the quality they want the only
way to do that is two pcs there's no way here's my um i don't have to take the other side please
don't curse me out i'm not gonna curse you out back in the day i used to stream xbox and i had like an xbox a computer a pc and all this stuff
and i had all these hdmi switches and the setup was so complicated i felt like it failed a lot
you know you put enough hdmi switches in there and fucking recording i think i had two recording
cards for some reason to like
get all the shit i needed to maybe one was for streaming i don't know but anyway um in the end
i was like man when you add complexity to a system you increase how often it fails and that's
my singular argument for like man if i have two computers and i'm replicating i feel you man you
want me to ruin you like not ruin You want me to help you real quick?
Yeah.
I have two PCs.
There is only one cable between these two PCs.
It is a HDMI out from my graphics card on my gaming PC into a capture card in on my streaming PC.
That is the only connection those two PCs have.
So where does it go to your
monitor what do you mean dude you just plug uh you just have uh a hdmi out from your graphics
card or dvi or whatever you want into your monitor at the end okay so i hope this isn't a terrible
topic but like so your gaming pc and your streaming pc we'll'll name them that. The gaming has an HDMI out that goes to the streaming PC.
My capture card, right?
Yeah, the capture card and the streaming PC.
And then it has a DVI out into my monitor.
So your graphics card sends the same thing to two places?
Yeah.
Okay.
I didn't know it did that.
Yeah, the end.
That's it.
That's the only that's the only
setup you need that's the only of the only complicated setup for a two pc system is if
you want to talk in game on your streaming on your gaming pc so since you're playing all your games
on there if you want to talk in game then you have to have an audio interface that is routing
audio through there or a second mic i I don't think you have that problem.
I don't think you ever need to talk in game.
I don't think any of you need to talk in game. You're always
on Discord, right?
Yeah.
So it doesn't even matter.
What if I want to mock children in Rust?
Then set up a
shitty USB.
I have a course.
Just set up a USB and just plug it in just
be like and like peak the audio you're trash i think you should be worse if you want people to
hate you use bluetooth a free phone bluetooth something that you yell at them over like
microphone something that came with your playstation 3 10 years ago yeah i know nobody likes to talk about
tech stuff but like dual pc setup is super easy there are a million guides on it and you don't
even have to have your pcs connected if you don't want to you can use this thing called ndi which
uses your network to uh to brought to push the video from your streaming PC or gaming PC.
There's no connection. It's just an
OBS source.
Definitely look into
it or hit me up and I will help you out.
In 10 more seconds,
you've got two keyboards sitting on your desk
and that's how you do that. I do have two keyboards
but you don't have to have two keyboards. There's a program
that lets you switch virtually between the two.
I prefer two just so and this is a very niche thing i don't want whatever copy and paste i have
like i do a bunch of music stuff and sometimes i have like a private music link on my other
keyboard and sometimes i'll just copy paste trying to like join a server i don't want to post like
the private youtube link for the SoundCloud link for this stuff.
So it's just me separating the two computers.
But you don't have to.
Your mouse and your keyboard can work between the two computers virtually with no problem.
And that's how most people do it.
I just don't do that.
Okay.
I need to think about.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Taylor.
Real quick before we jump on to the next thing.
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it. Makes us look good when you guys take
the offers from Don't Respond.
So makes us look like good boys.
So make us look like good boys. And make us look like good boys and also remember
to vote in the poll that kellen keller was a retard
vote you guys given my tally i'll put one dollar towards the taylor's mortgage fund
so so get that paid off for me
only a couple hundred thousand votes
only a few more hundred thousand votes
and we'll be there
Taylor's mortgage fund
dude I've thought
I know it's in bad taste but like you know when you see all the
twitch streamers like it'll be like for the fucking dogs of alaska they're being mushed
too hard and like it's something i've always wondered like how long you can get away with
it being like yeah we're doing a charity it's a taylor's mortgage fund and it's a really good
cause definitely would as long as you made it clear that it was a joke
taylor you could do that right now and no but i'm pretty sure if you you don't even have to
i'm writing down charity i'm going to i'm going to disclose this is not what i am suggesting i'm
just giving you an a book of what probably could happen. I'm confident that if you came on
and you said,
hey guys,
I am starting a charity
for Taylor's Mortgage Fund.
This is to help a disenfranchised individual
that has repeatedly seen financial hardship
because he cannot get a sponsorship.
It's a charity called Taylor's House.
And 100% of your donations to the Taylor's House. And every 100% of your donations
to the Taylor's House
charity
go right into the
program. I promise you. 100%
of your donations every month.
Go right into Taylor's House.
Alright, I gotta add
the little money counter on my streams now
that Wings has. It'll say for Taylor's house. You gotta get that
as a hashtag. Hashtag Taylor's
house.
Taylor, I'm telling you, you can do it
and nobody would bat an eye, but I'm
also telling you it is morally
inept.
Taylor's house should be for the benefit
of fat-headed retards.
You need to make shirts that say, like,
Taylor's House Fun Walk and stuff like that.
Doing all sorts of stuff to raise money for Taylor's House.
It needs to be, like, the Habitat for Humanity's, like,
color block building.
Just completely rip it off. They don't sue.
I just invert one of those Livestrong bracelets,
write Taylor's House on it.
Ship those out.
Yeah, this is a good-ass idea.
I'm going to do a charity stream.
Your stream title should begin with hashtag charity stream.
Hashtag charity stream, hashtag Taylor's house.
And you should find a really inventive and humorous way to describe what the charity does while being 100% honest.
You know what?
I can work on that. I'll come up with
something good. It provides
housing for young men
in the
Missouri area.
You know?
Good cause.
Good cause.
Taylor houses people with intellectual
challenging...
Those who are willing to challenge the intellectual cabal of America.
That's what it is.
But even more so, it's for Taylor's house.
It's for my mortgage, by the way.
I mean, that was kind of alarming.
I truly believe you can't get away with saying it's Taylor's house and like disassociating yourself from that movement.
But I firmly believe that there is somebody out there who could be like, hey, this is for like Maggie's house.
And their wife's name is Maggie.
And they can just funnel everything into this fucking poor soul.
Like, it is kind of alarming how nobody's like maybe we should check out who this maggie character is like maybe this gofundme isn't so
like benevolent after all i'm gonna i'm gonna bank on people just trusting trusting the taylor's
house fund it does a lot more than just pay for my house it pays for the new patio i want
it pays it pays for the gym patio I want.
It pays for the gym machines in my basement.
It pays for my Gatorade.
It's really everything in my house.
It's a halfway home. Halfway meaning that we still have to build the other half
and that's why I require your fund.
It's a halfway home. Morgan's about half paid.
It's just going to make
a lot of money.
I really think it is.
It's money for taylor's
you're gonna have a five thousand dollar night i think you yeah you you really i want you i i
really want to get some real schmoes to come in there who are like well i mean i don't know
i don't know what taylor's fund supports but uh yeah yeah i need to write off i need you
to i need you to like really build out like four really shitty like infomercial level like yeah i've
known taylor for a while now i think he deserves all the funds for taylor keep going keep going
i think that taylor is just been hit with all things on life and he needs as much money as humanly
possible we have to fund paler you know what you know what as that song's playing i'll be
in the corner of the kennel this doesn't even have to be scummy you can now you can now shoot a sarah mclaughlin
uh commercial earnestly and know that it will garner like donate like you're this is a bit
that you should do
and it will I wish you could hire that
old man with the beard who does the
African children
and get him to stand right outside your
house
this is Taylor's house
look inside
do you see him sitting there
shaking in a kennel
how do you have a crossover with like 60
cents per day for 60 cents a day from several hundred thousand of you
if you don't make a sarah mclaughlin parody in the next three months, I retain ownership and I will. And as soon as this idea
pays off and everything comes to fruition,
new charity, Taylor's Boat.
Taylor's Boat.
This Taylor guy
keeps finding new projects
to help humanity. I gotta support him even more.
He's trying to fund the HMS Hate Crime.
It's a 50-foot schooner that I'd
like to have.
For whatever reason, he's funding the
SS.
There's no name to the boat. It's just SS.
I don't understand.
It's the SS.
I feel like that's really weird.
This is funding my boat, the SS.
I'm going to say it.
What if you called your boat
the Officer and it was the SS Officer?
Then I act confused like, oh, what?
No, no. No, like the Nazis.
No, like, their outfits were dope though, man.
Oh, no, I don't. And that's what they say. They're like,
no, I don't get into politics, dude.
I don't get into politics.
I realize coming on the show is like when people do skydiving to feel thrill. Like, they're like, no, I don't get into politics, dude. I realize coming on the show is
when people do skydiving to
feel thrill. They're like, I could
die at any moment. This is my career.
My career could die at any moment.
Just one clip from this show.
I'm riding
the Twitch as long as it'll take me.
I'm pretty careful on there for the most
part.
Your fans are not. The amount of people that will comment,
hey, who rapes people in here?
I'm like, we don't use that terminology or language.
You're a real sweet kid.
Sorry, sorry.
Who forcibly penetrates bitches?
Anybody else?
Anybody else?
Yeah, in a squad.
And every once in a while, I'll be like,
hey, we're going to join Tucker's stream.
Everybody be super nice.
RSK and chat.
And then it'll be like, someone will be like, you know, rape boys.
It's like, oh, come on.
Come on, guys.
I'm sitting here doing a sponsored stream for Jack in the Box.
I'm like, I love burgers.
And I also love my community members who raid me that say things not indicative
of my personal beliefs i i honestly like like i'll be watching landmark and like out of nowhere
somebody just be like the one where they were talking about telling him to play with you was
funny um they weren't mean or anything they were just just like, play with Woody. Woody want play.
Woody want play. Your viewers,
the PKA
viewers do in fact type
14-year-olds
or something like, Woody play. Taylor
Merka DM.
Okay.
Then at the end, they'll sign off.
What you see, if you don't watch Landmark,
TTS spam is huge in there.
So lots of sevens and lots of Ls.
What's the TTS guy's name?
Brian, right?
So Brian will just be like,
he's got a foot pedal now to silence the TTS.
So they'll be like, send me to foot pedal hell daddy.
La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la.
And he'll just leave the cover and you'll just see him go.
And it'll stop.
But they punctuated the one about Woody with,
R-S-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K-K. I'm never enabling text-to-speech on my channel.
You cannot.
I will never just because I know.
But you are not allowed to.
Last I saw Landmarks
was 5.5.
It was lovely hanging out with you.
Landmarks
is good. He's good
with it. He plays into it. with like xqc and a bunch
of other people but like you just got to make that tts high enough that no poverty bitches can
go and ruin your twitch career you gotta make it high enough yeah you gotta be like ah if you
really want to make me uncomfortable you gotta pay me 130 i'm sorry i mean fair enough and i'm
sure there's still a couple people who will pay that much and make you i'm sure you minutes i'm sorry i mean fair enough and i'm sure there's still a couple people who will pay that much to
make you i'm sure you minutes i'm sure i will not enable that it's part of the show for me when i'm
watching landmark like like i if that he does these sponsored streams occasionally um with this
cell phone provider he's a psychopath by the way there's no way that i would have tts on a
fucking sponsor well that's what i was gonna say like it's a two-hour segment of his 12-hour stream,
and he'll be like, all right, TTS is off during the
sponsor segment of the show because you guys are
fucking animals.
I envy that
text-to-speech is part of his show because it's
super profitable. It's super profitable.
Imagine him earning
like, I don't know,
$15 a minute.
You can... you have to, it's a long one year plus, like a, like a, I guess
segment, you have to train your audience to enjoy the type of TTS that you're specifically
looking for.
And that means that you have to alienate a large portion of the people that are
going to TTS in the first place
to get a riser reaction. It doesn't
mean that all TTS
is bad. XQC has
TTS. Forcen has TTS.
And these are huge
streamers, way bigger than all of us.
So there's a way to manage it.
Your concept of good and bad is different than
me. All tts is good
because they paid for it until they yeah yeah and until they're saying heil hitler over and over
oh yeah i mean there was the one on landmark stream where it's just inward inward inward
inward inward inward and he's just like there's only so much you can do that was blocked you see
him go like i don't know how they do that yeah well obviously it's possible to get past it i don't know how but mine a lot of people get
censored you use bad words well like you can you can type like each voice on tts has a different
type of inflection and the reason that people span spam sevens after TTS is because it makes the way that they read out your donation different than if they didn't have the sevens.
That's the type of level of people you're dealing with when you're trying to blacklist a word, right?
So, like, acknowledge that if somebody's like, I put seven sevens at the end, he reads it in a way that says the N word.
Like, that's...
Yeah, like some of the
stuff that the nazis figured out on landmarks i don't even understand like i don't even know
what it means when they go you are uh oh you are yeah i don't know what that means or how they get
him to say that um the yep cocks are funny to me yep cocks are great but that's like a deeper what's yep you have better twitch
you have better twitch tv installed it's the woody do you have better twitch tv installed i don't
think so i think i gave it a go and just half-assed it is it something i want yeah it's like half the
chat experience just enable it it's a it's a third party extension on chrome and uh i want you when you enable it
twitch better twitch tv bt tv it enables gif emotes and third party emotes submitted through
that platform you can enable specific emotes from better twitch tv maybe yeah i mean i don't know
do you see gif emotes ever gif emotes tons of emotes i'm like am i sure yeah
so you think i mean animated yeah if you don't have animated i don't remember i don't know
someone set up somebody emotes so they can only do three at a time and it's too restricted yeah
that's not very different that's like your twitch i'm talking about like a third party extension and it is pivotal to the Twitch experience and you should go do it.
Turn on GIF emotes.
Turn on like like it is.
It is.
I without better Twitch TV, the entirety of the upper echelon of Twitch streamers wouldn't exist.
It's all just a constant Reddit feed of like what meme is funny this week.
What emote has been made?
Like what is interesting
and you can even do the bare minimum and it will seeing somebody type kek w k-e-k-w in your chat
yeah yeah and then you've seen the laughing guys up yeah yeah but has woody
that's like uh an area where i'm weak it's like i don't know what
fucking keck means there's keck tape in a game i play what the fuck is keck it's not a word
it means it means laugh in spanish uh all right here look i just i want you to i don't think i
have gifts enabled i have everything else all right you know you know easy to set that up is here look i'm gonna send it to you on woody i want you to i want you to
install that and if you haven't installed taylor go to your just click your dashboard
yeah yeah and then click the cog. Oh, this is so incredible.
I can't believe I get to show you guys
the better part of Twitch.
So click the
cog in
your chat.
And then you might
have to expand. How do you get to your chat
if you're not streaming?
There's a little chat with an arrow pointing up to the top right in your videos in videos oh i see yeah
just go to go to your channel yeah all right so bottom right chat settings and then you should
have this big pop out and at the bottom it should say better ttv you see that yep yep all right you see better ttv all right click better ttv settings uh i think i
have this on and then make sure better ttv emotes and gif emotes are enabled okay all right so so
all you need to do is go to the better twitch tv emote list and enable all of the good stuff like kek like just go
just just go go look at the emote
list and then just whatever ones
you think are great are great but like
kek w where's the email
list this is where I think I'm
I didn't finish oh oh
you're you're on uh it's
it's the next tab over sorry
channel
all the emotes under it.
And then you can literally see.
So I pay five bucks a month to have this third party shit.
But like for like 100 emotes.
But this this will I promise this will vastly increase your chat interaction.
This I'm giving you the.
OK, so my emotes, there's nothing there.
It tells me to upload right right so go to
so go to um so if you click on emotes and then you click on oh god how do i do this if you click
on the three bars on the top right and then you click on emotes then you'll have a drop down that
will show you top emotes you can click on literally any of those and add them.
You definitely need KekW. You need PogU.
You need a little PepeHands.
A little PepeHands.
A little PepeHands.
You need yourself a WeirdChamp,
a MonkaW,
maybe a
Gaichigasm,
maybe a little CatJam.
All of these are things that all of your nubile Twitch viewers would love to spam in reaction to your shit, and you just have never had them.
What about the MonkaGun?
There's a lot of good ones.
I mean, there's unlimited amounts.
There's so many.
All right.
I have a couple more.
Do that on your own time.
I'll choose the other 13 on my own time.
Yeah.
Do that on your own time.
Thank you, Tucker.
I think my stream is going to like you for this.
They're going to appreciate it.
Your chat is going to be liberated.
It's like I took the chat to be built.
Yeah.
I think Tucker and me need to think of emotes. Twitch came on my channel. It's like I took the chat. Yeah.
Emotes Twitch came on my channel.
They deleted my Trump emotes and they deleted all my Jeffrey Epstein emotes.
They got rid of all of them. Yeah.
It's against TOS to have emotes of,
um,
of people that you don't have permission to have the emotes of,
obviously,
of people that you don't have permission to have the emotes of, obviously,
which is why I am so
thrilled that they have never removed my
2011 emote of
the Queen of England with the word hype
tattooed on her forehead.
You snuck past the goalie
on that one. I did.
She'll be dead.
Look at the
shameful.
Shameful.
No, who cares?
Degrading the Queen
Elizabeth.
The Queen Mother.
The Queen Mother.
Oh, man.
I just realized I have a couple more slots
I can add stuff in.
You should just
pony up for Better Twitch TV
and ask your Hivemind chat what do they want to spam because they're the people that pay you the money.
And then when they give you the list of 90 things they want to spam, now you have created a nice little community.
And then they can kind of...
How do you think that I have a nice little community. I firmly believe that a large portion of the success that comes from Twitch comes from the hive mind of chat that is like rallying around one meme.
And even if it's like a shitty better Twitch TV image, like it permeates the entirety of Twitch culture, which is where like the like it's it's it really is like doing a socio not economic but like a sociology study on kids
stuck at home bored i still need to add the one where people photoshop my eyes farther apart
yes the you should that's a good one yeah they're going a little while you can add it if you don't
want to use your um twitch subscription slots you can
add it to better twitch tv with your subscription for free oh well not for free not for free but
for whatever you're paying five dollars a month i don't know yeah i've got the five dollar a month
thing yeah so you just add it up there and then you don't have to use your official twitch now
twitch you could add your old emotes to better Twitch TV and now they don't take them down.
The Epstein and the Trump shit.
Oh, fuck.
Oh, alright.
There we go.
That really removed a little bit of spice and flavor
when they got rid of the funny Trump faces
and the Epstein like, I didn't rape those kids.
Like that face.
You could noose Epstein
and put it on Better Twitch tv and nobody would care you could
do as much to prove shit as you could you noose anyone and they wouldn't care no no i don't know
if that's really the case i feel like there's i feel like there's a line in the sand i won't
because you're speaking my language here i think there is a report button for for the emotes but
i'm not gonna show anybody i anybody. These are from my own
personal use.
So it only shows up if the channel
has them enabled.
This is just for me to look at and giggle.
Just get a text from Kyle in the middle of the day.
Kyle's like
coming to my chat real quick.
It's just like he's
built a Christmas tree out of people being hung.
I've never really heard out of people being hung. Andy circus.
I mean,
of all people,
random ass people with nooses on them.
It wouldn't be random people.
No,
I know.
On that note,
you guys want to call it a show?
Yeah,
it was wonderful.
I enjoyed having you as always.
Yeah.
Very easy shows when you're on.
For sure.
I,
you know,
I'll see you guys.
I told Chiz, I was like every four months i think i was on like six six times in a year i was like guys i'm a part-time
host now i like i don't even get a cut from this shit see you guys late december early january
sounds like a plan you'll have all sorts of new tales we'll see how taylor's house goes by then
i want to know how taylor how Taylor Taylor's house is going to be paid off.
Yeah,
it's going to work so well. I have to start
Taylor's second house fund.
Taylor's beach house.
All right. PKA
505.