Painkiller Already - PKA 532 Lock and Load Update, Scam Calls, Lady Gaga's Dogs
Episode Date: March 2, 2021...
Transcript
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Pink you're already episode 532 Taylor this episode of PK is brought to you by
blue chew and smart mouth two very familiar names we'll talk more about
them later so Kyle you had some harsh words for a certain morbidly obese
quitter I'll call him a quitter yeah who never gets anything done she got right
she didn't quit oh we're not talking about gina carano no no i'm talking about george rr wait you're not talking
about wings just a list fat people who got fired no this guy didn't even get fired he just failed
entirely he was even worse than getting fired i hope he dies today that's a distinct possibility
look that's the best photo they could find of him i guarantee
that's like game he picks that photo that's a selfie he's going and take it
fuck that guy fuck that actually all right let me let me show the photo let me pull that back a
little it's laziness he finished what was it The first book was finished in the early or to mid-90s.
Does that sound right?
Like 96?
I don't want to get the numbers wrong.
I don't remember.
It was in the 90s.
The thing is, I don't care anymore
because my suspicions are that the show ended
the way he wanted it to end
and that what we really missed out on
was a little more character development
to make it all make a little
more sense but i still don't care because if you're going to end it that way fuck you fuck
you for writing a bad book fuck you for having all these like wonderful ways it could have gone
when you look at like the fan theory youtube channels for uh game of thrones and see the
stuff that they were thinking up it's, get these guys a fucking typewriter.
They'll finish this shit.
Let one of them write their alternate version
of how this shit should have gone.
I would pay serious money.
I'll sign up for Paramount Plus,
whatever the fuck you want me to do.
They'd actually fix this shit.
Yeah, you don't know what Paramount...
Oh, Paramount Plus is a streaming service
that it's like, stop trying to make Paramount Plus happen.
It's not going to happen, except it's apparently going to happen.
They're getting the Halo series, live action Halo TV series.
Does anybody care about that anymore?
Yes, very much so.
And they were advertising the fuck out of it during the Super Bowl.
Like they must have spent, I don't know, what's a Super Bowl spot?
Cost $10, $12 million?
They must have rolled six or seven.
Yeah, I think so.
Well, you'd know better than me, but I thought it was.
They're running two-minute thematic spots during the.
Five minutes at a time, yeah.
Five minutes at a time, normal.
But who knows what it was this year.
I thought their rates actually went down a little bit from their peak because their ratings struggled a bit
right 5.6 million would be a good estimate for a 30 second spot i don't know what you said
yeah well then if that was the minute spot you were pretty much spot on well in any case um
yeah back to george martin the the the headline here is that george.R. Martin is bringing Roger Zelazny's fantasy novel to HBO.
Apparently this is a novel penned in 1979 about a road that travels through time.
And it's like...
Time road.
It's like, dude, if you have time to...
I'm guessing he's a producer or something like that.
Showrunner.
I don't know what his title is going to be.
What his thing is going to be for this why is he bringing someone else's novel to hbo
doesn't quite make a lot of sense to me because he was clearly not involved enough to like save
his last project which is his book yeah uh so like look if you've got time for that then i've
completely lost all faith in you because i was one of those people who was like, look, if it takes him,
maybe he dies writing the last
two books, but
that might actually be better than
him rushing through them and
cementing shit down.
Right? Tolkien
has unfinished novels. Nobody
minds that much. He finished the
big one. Yeah, but
he didn't finish the sequel so listen to the dates
on the game of thrones releases right so listeners like this number's coming at you 96 98 2000
2011 right it was like two years two years two years 11 years and now we're 10 years and counting what wait no there's five books uh not on my screen
they erased the winds of winter no more when they literally did
hold on let me do it again i think winds winds of winter when did that come out
uh that came out? That came out...
Oh, will Winds of Winter ever be released?
It's not out. Never mind. Sorry.
Okay.
I thought it was.
It's been so long.
I've almost like a trauma victim
excised so much Game of Thrones from my head.
And I am happy to see how nobody...
I guess we're just proving this right now talking about it,
but nobody talks about it at all.
It could have been a really big cultural thing that people referenced.
And it ended so cataclysmically that like everybody agreed like this was just something we don't talk about anymore.
This is going to be like lost.
We just don't talk about it.
So, yeah, this guy will die not writing his last two books. I think that
as soon as he started getting fucked regularly
and had a nice house and money,
he did not care what happened to John
or the rest of the gang. I hope a crazed fan kills him.
I hope somebody who's very
upset with what happened just
fucking takes him out. You know, maybe
a Kathy Bates-style fan
will get a hold of him and be like,
write the fucking book
is that the woman from Misery
yeah the woman from Misery
you need Kathy Bates in Misery there
she would amp him up
I want actual Kathy Bates
he would turn the manuscript in
and she'd be sitting there like
like the movie and then go
Arya kills the Night King
Arya kills the Night King?
Arya kills?
Do you not remember from the first book?
You remember in Misery where she's referencing all the things and she knows so much.
You're going to have Arya do it? Begin again!
Smack his broken leg.
Taylor, I'm almost half a century
old and this is the best idea I've heard
so far.
I'm loving this. This is a good one.
Not so much an idea as a. I'm loving this. This is a good one. Not so much an idea
as like a crime
of this person
is committing.
It's not as much
as a crime
that Kathy Bates
movie mystery is committing.
If you're listening to this,
don't do that.
Don't do anything.
Don't do it.
Don't kidnap
George R.R. Martin.
Don't do it.
Don't tie him to a bed and torture him into fixing
one of the greatest pieces of
fantasy literature ever penned
don't do that
but if you do
have him go back and edit out the whole Sand Snake thing
so that can never happen again
we don't even know if that's in the books
is that in the books?
if it is it was referenced not that much you know i uh i didn't actually read the most recent book i think i'm
like four books in i didn't i don't think i i think that the bad shit started happening around
like i don't remember what slowed me down and maybe not read the fifth book but they're probably
knowing he wasn't going to release it in forever and there's no rush. I don't remember what my mindset
was at the time. Prison may have popped
up into my life. It was a
slog to get through this.
I did listen to
all the books.
There were times when I was kind of
multitasking and stuff.
I don't know if I could pass
a test on them, but I did sit through them all.
I don't remember the Sand Snakes being a significant part of it.
No, it was more the show that did that.
But you're right.
It is so weird that they would bring, that George R.R. Martin would still be involved at this point.
Like, what credibility is his name bringing?
Like, if anything, when people hear about him, they're like, oh yeah, the guy who didn't finish the Game of Thrones book and totally shit the bed with nothing but opportunity.
But in fairness, no, no, wait.
The two David Benny, the two David guys.
They often call.
Yeah, they were the ones who ultimately shut it down.
But I'm pretty sure we found out a while back when this first happened that George R.R. Martin signed off on that.
Like, yeah, sure, we can we can knock this out in eight more episodes like i think you're right george rr martin probably
could have had the sway you know as the guy who wrote the fucking books to be like oh no sorry
you know dnd or whatever you're gonna have to go an extra season i would prefer three but you got
to do this and an extra one like he had that sway he wrote the fucking books he just didn't care
i don't want to talk about this anymore it's's pissing me off. I'm actually more upset about it than
I thought I would be.
I really am upset about it.
That was a great story.
It bothers me so much.
I remember
planning
to buy the DVD box set
for my father and thinking
about what a great gift this is going to be for him.
I showed
him Battle of the Bastards
one night at my house.
I was like, because I was always
talking about the show, how good it was.
I'm like, hey, come in here.
Come in my bedroom. Let's sit down.
Let me show you one episode
of this TV show that I
watch. I was like,
keep in mind, this is a tv show and i
we get like five minutes and i'm like all right so here's the setup that guy has kidnapped that
guy's little brother been holding him hostage for like two fucking years he raped that guy's sister
after he forced her into a marriage she's she's now all messed up. He skins people alive. Oh, and by the way, that castle
that he's coming out of, that's this guy's ancestral home. And he's showing up with all
of his friends from the north, but they're outnumbered three to one. But he's showing up
to fight anyway, because it's the right thing to do. He could have stayed up there. And I lay it
all out for him, and we watch it,
and he was like, well, this is a hell of a show.
He's like, this is like a movie.
This is like a movie.
He's like, were those real horses?
I was like, yeah, they were real horses.
Wow.
He's like, that reminded me of Braveheart.
I'm like, exactly.
That's what we compare it to.
It's just like Braveheart with the horses.
And then I was thinking, oh, he's going to love it when I hand him this
box set of Blu-rays
with the full thing on there.
And now I'm just like,
he brought it up a few months ago
when he was here.
And I was like, ah, they ruined it.
They ruined it at the end.
I was like, they just decided nothing they had written mattered
and they wanted to wrap it up
so they could make some more money on a different job and they just decided nothing they had written mattered, and they wanted to wrap it up so they could make some more money
on a different job, and they just ruined it.
It's still a good gift.
Just give it to them on April Fool's Day.
Yeah, right?
Like, I don't fucking, I'll buy them the Sopranos again,
but this one's Blu-ray this time instead of DVD.
It'd be a much better gift.
Yeah, Sopranos.
Fuck that show.
So I got a completely different story that's fascinating to me.
This happened today.
Lady Gaga's
dog walker was shot
in the chest and the
shooter stole her two French
bulldogs and dog
napped them. She has put
out some massive reward
for the return of her dogs.
The dog walker lived.
He's recovering in a hospital
from his gunshot wound.
But she's put out like a six-figure reward
for her fucking French bulldogs.
He gets half a million.
Yeah, I think it's like half a million dollars.
Half a million dollar reward for dogs stolen.
So if anyone has seen Cruella de Vil,
you want to contact Lady Gaga.
She will hook you up with half a million dollars.
You can go ahead and pump that right into GME, make a cool five, six million by the end of the month.
Here's a video from 10 hours ago.
It says Lady Gaga's dog, Asia, gets rescued by the LAPD.
So maybe one of them has been found.
But there's still a quarter mil on the table, folks.
It's not bad.
Based on this video. It doesn't say Asia and Africa got rescued.
Just Asia.
I wonder if...
Is anyone going to get a quarter mil for that?
Dude, I could find a lookalike.
You know
someone's out there right now. This could be its own
movie. They're looking for...
They're going to the pound, looking for
the like,
no, no.
If we dye this one, if we put a little
shoe polish.
A little shoe polish.
Well, her dog's kind of
squinty-eyed. All right.
Pow!
Yeah, kind of like this.
Yep, just like that. hers actually got a limp well oh my beer
yeah i somebody's doing that there's a movie where that happened it might have been um
seven psychopaths with christopher walken or whatever that movie is i think they do something
like that but uh but yeah that's a wild ass story, right? Yeah. I mean, and to shoot somebody over the dogs.
I don't know.
Nobody knows yet.
Maybe it was revenge based.
Maybe Lady Gaga.
Maybe it was a random crime.
Maybe it was like, maybe he got an argument with the dog walker, shot him, and then didn't actually steal the dogs, but they just ran off.
And he was trying to kill the dog walker all along.
And the dogs were the only witnesses to the crime.
So he kidnapped them
so they couldn't testify.
Yeah, that's retarded.
I'm not going to say nothing, balls.
Just let me
go. I won't say anything.
Right under
that story was a gif of Lady
Gaga showing her bush while on stage.
She's like pulling her panties.
I'm like, yeah, here's my pussy.
I was like, how does this make it to the front page right alongside the dog kidnapper?
They're trying to get attention for the dog story.
They want people to care enough to go find those pups.
Good God.
That is a huge amount of money.
I thought you were going to say that's a huge amount of hair.
Yeah, I mean, she does need to tend to that. It's a little much. I'm sure it is a huge amount of hair. I thought you were going to say that's a huge amount of hair. Yeah, I mean, she does need to tend to that.
It's a little much.
I'm sure it is a huge amount of hair.
I haven't seen it.
It was a little more than I would have liked.
That's a ridiculous level of wealth
to just immediately be able to be like,
half a million dollars, bring my dog back.
Did she intentionally flash it?
Yeah, yeah.
She pulls the top of her...
She pulls her dress up.
She pulls the panties down she's
like yeah here's my bush hmm is the i i binged it and i'm the first ones that come up look like
they could be look like if she claimed it was accidental i couldn't prove her wrong well i mean
she's done like nude stuff before like completely nude videos and stuff like with like close-ups of
her vagina so isn't most of that shit scripted like when it stuff like with like close-ups of her vagina so
isn't most of that shit scripted like when it was like oh britney got out of the limo and like
spread her legs in a way that people never get up scripted i've heard stuff before where it's like
oh a lot of celebrities do things like that but i can also see that being nonsense and like some
scumbag paparazzi's like no they wanted us to take a picture of her snatch she was it was
right there hidden it was right there barely visible if i wore a short skirt i'd be flashing
my testicles accidentally all the time that's how i get out of a chair that's how i get on a
motorcycle that's how i get like i separate my knees sometimes it's like the office episode
jesus meredith where are your panties why are you why are you clubbing with
no panties if you're a celebrity and you're like getting out of your fucking mercedes like you're
delivering a baby like like i agree with taylor i think this is like a single spot position
it was very calculated because there was that period of time where it's like oh this person's
got a sex tape now this person's got a sex tape now this one's this person says oh this person flashed their cunt oh now now this
person now that person it was like it went over for a couple of these now some like emma watson
for example she was wearing panties they were kind of i don't like bringing that one up i'm
not sure how old she was during that i can neither i i don't know that i saw or know what you're referring to are you
talking about the harry potter girl yeah i thought she was in her 20s i've never heard about this
controversy was it like a britney spears style thing because everybody that's like i'm told
that she was wearing semi-transparent panties and someone used a flashbulb through the window of her limo while she's just sitting pretty ladylike and managed to like see
through her panties and see the top of her pubic hair.
Classic example of celebrities seeking attention.
Yeah.
This,
this was different.
She was probably like,
Hey,
creepy guy,
bring that flashbulb over here.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Okay.
Well that one seems like it was uh
probably yeah this wasn't kim kardashian literally just making a porno
oh it's weird your link didn't work on my end
either so you can see i didn't realize her knees are completely together in this that
oh and she's also 18
According to this thing
I don't need websites, but Kyle seems to think she might not be I I don't want to know okay
That's actually younger than I thought I thought she was in her 20s i don't know where he got that
i know she's well she's fresh out of hogwarts there okay yeah i'm pretty sure those movies
ended when they were like harry you're you're almost ready to finish your fifth year and it's
like a 31 year old man no they were age appropriate they really were because like
12 no they like timed it pretty perfectly with the casting of those kids like like No, they were age appropriate. They really were because like... How many years were you in school? 12?
No, they like timed it pretty perfectly
with the casting of those kids.
Like they're supposed to begin as like eight-year-olds
and finish as like 16, 17-year-olds.
And that's what they did.
No, they were way older than 16, 17 by the end.
I don't think so.
I'm saying this as an almost guess.
I do
remember it started off and it was like,
damn, Harry does look like a little kid.
That sounds unbelievable to me, but
it's not smart to go against
Kyle in matters of media.
They may have been a couple years older. They might have been
19, but they weren't 22
or anything playing a 15-year-old.
Is Tom Holland Spider-, um, is Tom Holland
Spider-Man's name? Tom Holland?
Tom Holland. Yeah.
That guy's, he's pretty old, right?
Too old to be
playing a high school student.
Uh, he is,
oh, 24, which is younger than I thought.
Yeah.
Maybe an Alabama high school student.
What are some examples of movies, and I just just found a list we'll see if any are good
where actors were playing someone either way too old or way too young
for who they were supposed to be playing and it sucked you out of it
I'm trying to find a good one
mine is going to be
Tobey Maguire being...
I guess Spider-Man 3 pretending to be a teenager at 32.
But he looks young.
Yeah, he can pull it off, honestly.
Steve Carell in Get Smart.
What a terrible list! It's almost like these listicles have no thought
behind them.
One from this century, man.
Okay, well, Screen Rant, more in a view to kill one from this century man okay well screen rant fuck you you're i'm getting close low budget movies are really bad at that because their casting choices are so limited um i was watching some stuff on best of the worst
the other day and i think it was april fool's day i have two maybe but like these guys
are playing like high school students and they are legitimately in their late 30s early 40s
so this is an old movie greece but it might be classic enough that people have seen it. Rizzo was 33 years old, that actress.
And she looked it.
She looked 33, too.
She didn't look like a high school chick at all.
She's got wrinkles.
She just didn't belong in Greece.
I got chills.
They're multiplying.
I forget one of my kids.
It's a great soundtrack.
I think it was Hope.
It was just all about that movie.
Every song they sing is about fucking.
Is it really?
Every single song in Grease is about sex.
The one's clearly about a car.
The Grease Lightning one?
Yeah.
Every song's about sex.
You might be right
I promise you
not smart to go against Kyle and Max
this is not just like
no no I know factually
this is a known thing that like
every song in Grease is about sex
because the whole movie's about sex
you haven't seen it
it's a real classic
I love the fan theory that travolta
and uh what's her name are dead at the end and that's them riding off to heaven
um because you know they they uh they died in the car accident or they drowned or whatever
fuck i i've only seen it like maybe once all the way through and i was a kid but um i don't know i
watch stuff about movies uh and i like travolta. I love young Travolta. He looks great in that movie.
What's Travolta's best movie?
Travolta's
best movie?
Pulp Fiction
was his resurgence.
That was him coming back
and reestablishing
himself after years
of being
on a real downswing a lot of people like urban
cowboy that's when he's in his like physical attractiveness prime i think um greece is
right there too uh it's probably four or five years prior but um
i mean he did so much cheesy schlock.
Like, if you look at, like, Face Off with Nicolas Cage, where they swap faces.
Broken Arrow was the next one I was going to mention.
I like that movie more than other people, I think.
I enjoyed that.
Christian Bale.
Is that his name?
Christian Bateman?
Christian Bale, I think.
No.
No? No, it's it's uh it's christian slater yes you're right okay yeah he always looks very squinty eyed like he's trying to focus on you
yeah yeah very yeah that's christian slater uh who i like more than i should uh and uh but yeah
that's an okay little action film.
I'm probably not remembering some of his better stuff.
He made a movie last year, I think,
where he's a mentally retarded man who's obsessed with this Hollywood actor.
And he's like...
There's this part where like it's low budget and there's, and he's got like, he's got a wig on cause he's been bald for many years and he's wearing this retard wig.
That's like awful.
And, uh, there's this part where he's like having like a little rant, like all alone.
And he's like, blah, blah, blah.
Say something.
Say something stupid.
Like,
like it's clear that he was like,
they were just rolling.
Right.
They're just keeping the camera going on him.
And he's,
he's trying to like say things that he was literally trying to think of
something stupid to say,
but they left in a part where he's like,
say something stupid.
And like, like, like he He's trying to pump himself up to
say stupid things, and in his mind,
there are professional filmmakers at work
here. They're going to take this...
I like how Game of Thrones ended.
Yeah, it's like, roll on me
for ten minutes, I'm going to fucking lose my
shit and freak out. Edit it down
to eight seconds of
the best part, like you'll have like
a real good performance it is one of the worst films ever fucking and what is it called oh shit
but google christian john travolta retarded movie you'll get it um there's a part so i'm
gonna spoil it because no one should ever watch this movie oh he looks
hilarious yeah he looks hilarious his name his character's name is moose i think um so like he's
obsessed with this hollywood actor this this fictional hollywood actor he goes to the guy's
book signing and they they do that thing where the guy's like all out of time and not gonna sign
john travolta shit and john travolta's like following him outside he's like i have all of your vhs's and and i have them on dvd and blu-ray as well and i have this and that
and he's like buddy buddy like i said inside we're all fucking done here all right you want
to get fucked up he's like no sir no please don't fuck me up like at the very end john travolta goes
to the guy's house accidentally kills his maid like literally like
gets in like a struggle with her outside because he's trespassing and kills her like she falls
hits her head on a on a fountain and like boom dead and then he like sneaks into the guy's house
knocks him out ties him to the bed and so the actor's tied to a bed in a dark bedroom. And he's like, what the fuck is going on?
I think I'm watching this scene right now.
John Travolta walks in wearing a hockey mask with a knife.
And the guy's like,
Oh God,
Oh God,
Oh God.
And he goes,
and it's a fake knife.
It's a movie prop knife.
And he like pops the mask up.
He's like,
Oh,
I got you.
You were,
you were,
that was a good performance,
huh?
I scared you real good.
And he's like, yeah, man, that was a good one. He's like oh i got you you were you that was a good performance huh i scared you real good and he's like yeah man that was a good one he's like hey untie me and i'll sign anything you want
you know i got some limited edition memorabilia in the back we'll we'll wheel it out so john
travolta is retarded so of course he believes this little ruse and unties the guy the guy like reaches above the bed like into blackness like like he just goes like
imagine you're looking at me right now and i just do this and come back with a gun like
gun and he goes he blows like half of john travolta's hand off or something like that
and then they get into a fight and he's got a real knife now.
And there's a part where John Travolta is on his back and he stabs John
Travolta's eye out.
And,
uh,
and so now John Travolta is like missing finger or two and his eye is
gouged out.
And the guy just opens the door.
Like he's letting a prostitute out and he,
John Travolta walks out in shame.
Then the murder of the maid gets blamed on the actor. And that's the end of the movie. He's letting a prostitute out and John Travolta walks out in shame.
Then the murder of the maid gets blamed on the actor and that's the end of the movie.
It is outrageously
bad. One of the worst movies ever
made.
What you have to consider is
you have competent people
with decent funding making this.
Does John Travolta
have friends throughout the movie
he has one friend it's a young girl who lets him walk around with that haircut she does not only
that but she's like helping him find the celebrities he's like how do you find where
celebrities live and she's just like well he's one of these star maps silly that's how we know
where they live but don't go getting into trouble.
And it's like, you just gave a retarded man a treasure map to a fucking celebrity's house
that he's obsessed with.
What do you think is going to happen, you dumbass?
His finger's blown off.
He's going to go fucking...
There's this part where the celebrity's asleep
in his easy chair in his living room
and John Travolta's in the room with him,
like touching his face and like sniffing him like he sneaks in and he has a camera and he goes to
the celebrity and he gives the celebrity a kiss on top of the head while he's taking a picture of
himself and it's and he's posting those to social media like he's tweeting that shit out
which makes no sense because like you don't have to be any kind of celebrity.
Like, look, if I snuck into Woody's house, kissed him on the top of the head while he was asleep, took a picture and then tweeted it out, he would know about it 10 minutes from then.
He would know about it as soon as he awoke.
He would have messages.
This guy is supposed to be like i don't know like
a tom cruise level actor or something like that people are gonna be ringing his phone off the
fucking hook if a retarded man is taking pictures of uh kissing him in the top of the head while
he's clearly unconscious how many followers or friends or whatever does this guy have
it just could be in the ether some it doesn't't. You know it doesn't matter, though. Like, take a guy who has, like, one follower or, like, five
and have him tweet a picture of him kissing Tom Cruise on the head,
like, in Tom Cruise's house when Tom Cruise is clearly unconscious.
It's going to get to Tom Cruise within an hour.
Okay, that's fair.
Like, somewhat the Scientology people are going to be fucking
ringing his phone up.
They're going to show up.
They're not even gonna bother calling.
They're on the way.
It's just,
it's just an absurd film.
It's awful.
You don't recommend it.
That might be John Travolta's worst film.
And that is saying something.
He's been in some real stinkers.
Well,
you know,
like,
like,
and he doesn't have an excuse really for being in the stinkers.
Like,
like he's, uh, he, he's fairly the stinkers like like he's uh he he's fairly
wealthy you know he's he's that guy who he owns his own 747 i believe uh he flies it himself like
he has like a an airport essentially at his house with like multiple aircraft he had some kind of a
tragedy last year where i i don't know if his wife died or his child died or maybe both i think his wife
died of like cancer like and then the next year maybe his child died tragically in some way i
don't recall the exact details like maybe yeah his wife died this past year yeah it's been a rough
go for him and then of course he had that whole thing where he was groping those men um that came out
maybe four or five years ago but did that ever go anywhere right up their thigh i'm told ah but
then but the people doing the the nutsack rubbing did they get paid out or anything or
yeah probably but nothing publicly really happened. There were no real ramifications. I think that's the only way you can like me to somebody and not get in trouble
is if it's an adult man who is not in like a position of where he doesn't have power,
then you can almost, you can still get away with it.
If he had groped a female masseuse or uh a a black masseuse maybe like but he he groped
like an adult white man who was just like fucking john travolta's always grabbing my balls when i'm
giving him a rub down i'm kind of tired of this and they're like down with the patriarchy get out
of here you masseuse anduse. Nobody seemed to care.
Yeah.
Well, I certainly didn't.
Didn't care a bit.
I think that, you know, look, I like Pulp Fiction,
and he did make a decent movie like a handful of years ago,
From Paris with Love.
Did you see that?
I did not see that.
From Paris with Love.
I can't remember the names of the rest of the actors, but the guy who plays opposite John Travolta is decent. Essentially, you got
some sort of ambassador's aide in France. He's the US ambassador's aide, and he ends up on a secret
spy mission accompanying John Travolta, who's like a U.S. government agent who's been sent in to fix some shit.
And it's pretty fucking good.
Like John Travolta's character is so over the top that he's kind of cool.
He's like he's just having this huge argument in that they're coming through customs with his like bang energy drinks or whatever they're called they had some kind of ridiculous name and uh and finally like
they get them through customs and the guy's like why are you so obsessed with this fucking energy
drinks i could have got you an espresso or you know some local shit and he's like i don't give
a fuck about these energy drinks man and he like unscrews them and he's got pieces of a gun that
he's slowly putting together like in the car and he's like i have guns he's like yeahs them and he's got pieces of a gun that he's slowly putting together, like in the car.
And he's like,
I have guns.
He's like,
yeah,
but me and Mrs.
Jones,
we got a thing going on.
He's like got cool little quips throughout the movie like that.
And he's just kind of a bad-ass.
He just gets in.
Mrs.
Jones.
Yeah.
The gun's got a name.
Yeah.
The gun's got a name.
Mrs.
Jones.
Well,
it's a,
it's a reference.
Me and Agatha really like to tear it up better
yeah agatha is better that sounds like a witch yeah but there's not a song about
me and mrs jones and how we got a thing going on is that a song yeah there's lots of songs
written about women named agatha well in any case it's a good movie movie. He even rolls out the old Royale with cheese kind of thing
because they're in France.
Someone walks up very spy-like,
sort of walks up with a bag and puts it next to him.
And the other guy's like, what's that?
He's like, ah, this is a little something.
Around here they call this a Royale with cheese.
It's like he was just having a burger delivered. that one's okay that one's okay it's worth watch did you see
the uh the news on the south dakota attorney general no what happened i do not know so i don't
even know if he's republican or democrat it's not meant to be a political thing but it's funny to me
so south dakota attorney general says he had no idea that he
ran over a person with his car he's like i thought it was a deer until the next day
they found the victim's glasses inside the guy's car and he's still playing dumb he's still like
you know what i uh glasses are in the car huh i didn't notice those till you showed them to me just now here in the
interrogation room yeah this fucker ran over a man the man's face slammed into the front windshield
and somehow the glasses of the victim got inside the attorney's car and like two bloody handprints
on the he's claiming he thinks it's a deer and i guess he
just never stopped never checked into it never investigated nothing just drove on hoping to say
you know i thought it was a deer thing at least like if you're gonna break the law there you just
smacked into that guy apparently he's not dead if you're trying to get away with it i don't know
about that i think he killed him did the guy die oh well then if he killed the guy then like and he was trying to
get away with it he should have definitely taken the body put it in his trunk right like taking
all the evidence because like there must have been a camera right how else would they have
caught him did they find like the license the guy was almost certainly drunk when this happened,
or he was in some other embarrassing situation.
He had a prostitute with him.
He had a boy with him.
He had a girl with him.
He was drunk.
He was on drugs.
He was doing something he shouldn't have been doing,
and this really complicated thing, so he couldn't come forward.
Yeah, it's kind of a classic movie setup
really interesting he said i bet he didn't kill nearly as many people as cuomo though we're
talking about uh politicians fucking taking people out i think it's funny like something
they were like sub mr south dakota attorney general you didn't strike mr johnson it's like
no well here's some glasses and a pair of underwear
with Mr. Johnson and his address written on the back.
It's like, what do you think this proves?
I know the law.
And it's like, what would he do?
Like, he would have to know better than anyone.
Like, ah, I am going to prison.
Unless I was on Epstein's Island and I got dirt on someone,
I'm going to jail.
Can I give myself a plea deal?
Is that how that works?
I am the attorney, Joe.
In my head, I'm like, he's an attorney.
Attorneys are so knowledgeable about the law that they don't foul up.
If they said, Woody, we know you hit this guy.
We have this guy's glasses in your car.
The gig is up.
The gig is up.
The jig is up.
Whatever it is, it's up.
You're doomed. I'd be is it's up you're doomed i'd be
like yeah you're right you got me probably you didn't ask me my miranda rights that's like a
magic the gathering combo i go i go free yeah but this when i was in the police station they were
like well this this this and that and i was like oh that's all very interesting lawyer well but there's there's this thing here where this this that and that and the other i'm
like yeah yeah i understand that lawyer you think we're gonna have a conversation here you think you
could be like buddy buddy with me right now you think because you brought me a snickers i'm gonna
start talking to you about what just happened he did he comes out with like a pot leaf was still in his car
cop outfit pot leaf do rag on i just i know all these other cops are carays
he's dressed like frizzed mike from the office with a purple bandana
man the rest of these motherfucking cops are squares y'all
rubbing shoulders with you hey man i got i got a little gummy for you right here These motherfucking cops are squares, y'all. Right?
Rubbing shoulders with you.
Hey, man, I got a little gummy for you right here.
I'm going to take a pot gummy out of the hand of a cop at a police station.
Yeah.
That would be funny.
Even the local cops were like, I was like, hypothetically,
if there is marijuana in that bag, when the warrant gets here, what are they going to do to whoever it is?
What are you going to do to that guy at the train station
that threw this at me violently and said,
hold on to this until I get back?
I literally said that.
I was like, hypothetically, if there is some sort of marijuana in that bag,
God forbid,
what are you going to do to the guy who's marijuana?
It actually is when you find him.
Ah, probably not much of anything.
You know, like the local cop was like,
ah, fine, maybe some community service.
Did he believe that or was he playing you?
He won't be worrying about it no more.
No.
It was
when things just kept escalating.
You know, like if I could have
dealt with the local police,
I'd have gotten a fine
and some community service.
But the thing just kept escalating
until I was in a u.s
federal district courtroom so you think that the guy who said maybe just to find no big deal wasn't
playing you he was no no i know that guy like like i like i actually know him um like like like
i've had dealings with him before like like he knows me like like he knows
my family like like i i'd see him out and be like hey what's up your name and hey what's going on
yeah so he wasn't trying to fool you he was a local guy who genuinely thought ah
it's not going to be the end of the world yeah because when he normally catches
someone with half an ounce of marijuana they don't go to federal prison no certainly not you're
you're a vip i'm a vip yeah very imprisoned person i was one step behind you there i was
i was my brain was going
usually when like an acronym gets set.
It's like,
there's gotta be something fun.
Oh fuck.
That's the moment's best.
You were saying something about Cuomo,
Kyle.
What do you,
what do you got?
All right.
So this is one of those things where like,
uh,
I've just heard the periphery of what happened.
So I'm hoping that you've got the nitty gritty,
but I'll lay out my,
uh,
my ignorant,
uh,
uh,
part.
And then maybe you can correct me some.
It seems to me that on the nursing home
thing he did something or another and some people in nursing homes died because of stuff cuomo did
and then today or yesterday i heard that he's now accused of sexual assault some sort of a female
intern like position yeah so i'll do my best and this is an issue where i found it hard to get
like facts with confidence but it seems that there was a time when hospitals were kind of full and
nursing homes were kind of sick and there was a decision to be made and he let sick people go from
hospitals to nursing homes and that turned out to be a bad call more people died in nursing homes than perhaps they
would have if they stayed in hospitals or vice versa right like but it i think it's generally
agreed upon that he made the wrong call with regards to like how to quarantine elderly people
with covid and where all right um now they didn't miscount the number of COVID deaths, but they did miscategorize them.
So, like, if someone's in a nursing home and they get sick and they almost die and then they spend their last 20 minutes in the hospital, is that a nursing home death or a hospital death?
Right?
You could perhaps ask that question.
And now, here's where I find it hard.
Was there an intent to that miscategorization?
Was he trying to cover for perhaps his bad decision on where elderly people go?
Or, you know, this is just an imperfect world where sometimes you get stuff wrong.
So that, I think, is the nursing home thing.
Made a bad decision, possibly tried to cover the impact of it by reclassifying nursing home as hospital or vice versa.
Now, the sexual assault thing,
dude, I have a weakness for this stuff.
I don't know what's true and what's not.
When the Cosby stuff came out,
everyone in the world instantly knew it was all legit,
except me.
I'm like, yeah, Hollywood guys get blasted with,
you know, sometimes a dozen things at once.
But he had like 80.
He did have a lot.
All right, maybe that's not a great example.
But like the Trump stuff, there are a lot of people who write off his sexual assault accusations
as false money gold diggers.
That's not a perfect term, but work with me.
They're just guys guys are trying to sue
and take advantage of his position and get some of his
money.
Kevin Spacey,
there was a whole Me Too thing.
Kevin Spacey didn't do anything.
There was a whole Me Too thing where people
seemed to know which ones
were real and which ones weren't real, and I always
don't. I can always tell. The people I don't
like did it.
I'm still not were real and which ones weren't real and I always don't. I can always tell. The people I don't like did it.
Yeah.
As far as I know, Cuomo has one accusation and
I think it's that he kissed a woman on the lips.
Does that sound right? Without asking
for permission or anything? Hot.
I have no idea. I don't know.
I wonder if his brother's gonna
talk about this. Dude,
so... On CNN.
Hey, bro, digital high five.
What do tits feel like?
This is journalism.
Two brothers talking.
Neat.
He's been accused of sexual harassment by a former advisor,
and it's an unwanted kiss and touching.
I'm curious about the touching night there's a
lot of different kinds of touching right all the way from like almost in his defense like she was
my advisor and she advised me to take risks and that's what i did so if anything um he pushed me
out of it yeah touching is not descriptive enough for me but um yeah. So unwanted kiss and some touching.
I'm guessing that means boob.
Maybe.
I don't think he'd be accused of touching if it was
deltoid.
He could be like grabbing some ass.
He could, you know, maybe
go full crotch cup.
Yeah.
The Trump.
He might have done...
Oh, if cuomo
grabbed somebody with the pussy that'd be so funny that would be that would be honestly
that would make all this worth it
if the whole pandemic the whole pandemic the whole pandemic fucking 9-11 everything
it'd be worth it if we found out that Cuomo grabbed a pussy. All those wars in between.
I just saw this.
So the U.S. just bombed Syria twice.
Wait, wait.
Just?
As in, like, how recently?
Yeah, just now, yeah.
We had to get back to basics.
Yeah, we had to jump back in.
I'm out of the loop on this.
We just bombed Syria again?
You don't mean four years ago.
No, just now.
No, like four minutes ago.
It says U.S. carries out airstrike in Syria
targeting Iranian-backed militia structures.
My God, they must have been building nukes.
They must have been building nukes.
Taylor, clearly there were madmen there.
They're just full of madmen.
Always madmen.
You know, getting back into another war,
it's going to be like snuggling up under a nice
blanket back to normal. God damn it under a nice blanket. Back to normal.
God damn it.
We'll see.
We'll see.
Trump kicked off with some bombings and there was no war really that followed.
So let's hope for that.
No, they're going to increase troop presence.
They've already said they would.
Did they?
Like they, one of the first, Trump, I read that he was trying to get a lot of troops out and towards the end.
And it was undone very early on in Biden's administration.
Like, no, we're not going to remove troops from Europe or the Middle East.
We're going to keep them there.
Did you see he's putting the kids in the cages?
No, those are overflow centers now.
Oh. Kyle, don't call them cages. They're those are overflow centers now. Oh.
Kyle, don't call them cages. They're kennels.
Show some respect. The overflow centers.
A kennel is even worse.
A kennel is my favorite.
You're putting people in kennels.
It makes you imagine that they're on all fours.
Like futters.
They're sucking out little hamster balls.
Extra scratchy galvanized fences
around them
we gave them cedar chips come on
it's like that episode of South Park
when Butters is like made up like a dog
and they're all shitting and pissing on him
yeah
we gave them cedar chips and they're in there
oh that's fucking funny
Iraq?
That's the worst way to say it.
Bombs Saudi Arabia's royal palace?
Does that have anything to do with us bombing Syria?
I don't know.
A bunch of madmen there clearly need bombs.
What happens?
Iraq bombs?
How does Iraq still have bombs?
Didn't we take them all away yet?
Yeah, I mean, they should be gone.
That war's been a resounding success.
To be clear, it was launched from inside Iraq.
But I don't know that that doesn't mean it was Iranian or ISIS.
It was probably fired by whoever it was you want to attack.
I just don't care anymore.
I really don't.
I spent the better part of my life watching bombs go off in Iraq and Afghanistan and Syria.
Like, I just don't care anymore.
I'm just numb to it, right?
Like, I just, I don't know.
But think of how much better our lives would be with all that money poured into, like, American infrastructure and shit here.
Anything.
We've talked about this before.
Like, you know, AOC is always talking about talking about like let's forgive everyone's student debt and i'm like yeah
let me know right before you do it i'm gonna take out a few fucking student loans but yeah that's so
true i'm gonna i'm gonna get in on game stop again with my forgiveness like you know what i think i
want to go back to school myself for a very expensive degree.
Do you need to get accepted to get a student loan?
I'm sure I could get some student loans.
I mean, you just got to be like, hey, I'm not even going to attend.
I'll give you 10%.
How about I give you a little up?
How about I put a down payment?
You sign off on this paperwork.
Accept me.
Don't worry.
I'm not going to even show up.
And we'll get these loans processed.
You don't have to lie about that.
For student loans, you could just be like, yeah, and get the loans and then be like,
I decided not to go to school.
You can do that.
I'm pretty sure.
Or someone I know in college committed a crime.
I say in college.
I was in college.
He was not.
He was living on the Mizzou campus with his student loan money not going to school
did he attend classes did he pay for classes
no
no he just lived there and became a drug
dealer
he was an entrepreneur
not a student
well if the student loan thing wasn't a crime
the drug dealing might have been
why are you spam calling me at 8.20pm Well, if the student loan thing wasn't a crime, the drug dealing might have been.
Why are you spam calling me at 8.20 p.m.? I hate those spam calls.
I hate them too.
I screen every one of them.
Now I have to answer.
No, so I've got, I don't know if it's a Google Fi thing or if it's an Android thing,
but I have a button.
It says screen call, and I click that, and it reads to them,
hi, the person
you've reached is using a screening service from google and we'll get a transcript of this call go
ahead and say what say your name and they just if they hang up i go spam detected block and that
number will never call me again that's sorted so i don't have to deal with fucking patel trying to
deal with my car's extended warranty or whatever the fuck nonsense that person was calling about oh i texted you guys this earlier this week that i uh i got a message or a bullshit
call it didn't even say spam alert it usually does now but it was just some bullshit number
and because of like my basement flooding and like i'm expecting like different numbers from
different areas for adjusters i'm answering everything very quickly and i answer it and
immediately i hear like uh try like a muted down like indian accent like hello i am calling about the existing problem with
your microsoft account and i was like all right i bet buddy i bet okay and then he hung up and
everything and usually that you only get one of those you know but then a couple minutes later
i got another call i didn't pay attention to what the number was. I needed to use Kyle's block feature in the future.
And I got it again.
It was that same guy going, hello, I am working on a problem with your Microsoft account.
And I was like, excuse me, I believe that you're mistaken.
I am the one working on your Microsoft account.
He hung up on me, I think, before I finished.
I went way over the top of the Indian accent.
That gave me a really great 2 p.m. pump.
Didn't block his number.
Maybe he'll call back.
You should have saved him as a contact.
Microsoft account.
I always get fearful that my grandparents are going to answer one of those phone calls and not know.
I always get fearful that like my grandparents are going to answer one of those phone calls and not know.
Like just the basic like even to ask like I have I have three PCs here.
Which one are you talking about?
Or just even anything basic to tell them to screen like they wouldn't even know they would.
Yeah.
To them, they're such deep in the boomer era.
They'd be like, whatever I got to do to get out of this conundrum. But I don't want to I don't want to deal with it.
My mother in law. So we cared for her in her last years, and she had cancer and anyway,
deteriorated towards the very end.
And people would send her bills and she would just want to pay them.
Like it was an emergency to pay fake bills.
You know, they just tell her out of the blue she owed things for like a roof.
It's like you're living in our guest
house.
Which roof do you think
this is for? Oh, your brain
is deteriorating. Yeah.
I'll take care of it.
Imagine how good that
roofing company's day was like
we got one!
We're saved one we helped her with all those decisions she didn't yeah of course i i got one a while back and for a split second i was like oh no what is this
because it was like a package containing narcotics has been intercepted on the way to you and i was like not again
i promise we didn't order it this time yeah and and i was like because that's what i was saying
i was like someone sent me narcotics to fuck with me no this time they're not gonna believe me now
it's like the boy who cried wolf i was like shit, shit. And it's like, you need to send X amount of money to the blah, blah, blah to sort this out.
And I was like, oh, they'd be here.
They wouldn't be sending me voicemails.
They just show up for this sort of thing.
It's like when you get a call from the IRS where it's like, hey, you owe back taxes.
We have no information on who you are or what state you're in.
It would even be like, hello, sir or madam.
You owe back taxes.
Yeah, my dad got a call and they were like, I don't remember the exact specifics,
but it was something like, you know, we're just trying to confirm your identity, sir.
Can you read us your social security number?
And he's like,
I think he might have given it to him.
And so then they know who he is. He's like,
yeah, yeah, yeah, Mr. Myers.
We've got this issue with this, this,
that, and the other, and you owe this much of this. And he calls me and he's like,
I got a call
and they said this, this, and that.
This doesn't seem right to me, but I don't
know what's going on.
I'm like, yeah.
Did they know your name immediately or only after you gave them a little information?
He's like, you know, I think it was after I gave them my social that they knew my name.
Shit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. after I gave them my social that they knew my name. Shit!
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Whenever that happens, the first thing you
do is like,
who am I?
They're like, hey, we got a problem with your taxes.
Oh yeah? What's my name?
And they're like,
valued customer?
Yeah.
Those scam artists are uh you know they cast a wide net and they they only need to catch a fish here and there because there's no overhead to scamming someone
from uh from nigeria thank god you were there they'd almost caught your dad on the line
yep yep yep i i think i don't think he was going to bite. He was very suspicious. He was like,
what is this? What's going on here? And I was like, ah, yeah, I think you're, I think you're safe since he didn't really give him anything too pertinent. But, uh, but yeah, don't,
other than your social security. Yeah. Which is like any loans being taken out in your name.
Well, I, you know, I, I got him a credit monitoring thing a while back so he could
keep an eye on, on everything and he could keep an eye on everything.
And he'll get an alert on his phone if anything happens there.
So it's like, it's pretty safe.
Well, that's good then.
Taking good care of him.
It's kind of politics, but you guys have been following the $15 minimum wage thing.
Yeah, a little bit.
I saw that there's been some discussion.
I think the Republicans even had a bit of a compromise with maybe saying 10.
If I have it right, I think his name's Tom Cotton and he's from Oklahoma
offered to raise it to 10. It's currently like 7.25.
His state's minimum is already 11. It didn't seem like
he was really meeting them halfway there.
There's that. i don't know how
it's 11 in oklahoma uh that's interesting that's like i'm pretty sure that's like one of the
cheapest states to live like cost of living wise like very very cheap in oklahoma you wouldn't
think it would be too expensive i must have the state wrong because it's 725 there. Is it Arkansas? Where is it from?
I'm from Arkansas.
I'm going to guess he's from...
That's a reference.
No one gets with me.
He is from Arkansas
is what I'm guessing.
Not guessing. I looked at that piece.
It is Arkansas.
And he's offering 10, but it's
already 11.
What a forgettable state.
Yeah, I don't know. So, like...
Do you know what the capital of Arkansas is?
Little Rock?
Frankfurt.
Right?
That's Kentucky.
It is Little Rock.
Well, Frankfurt is in Kentucky.
Yeah, Frankfurt's capital of Kentucky.
Little Rock's capital of kentucky little rocks Arkansas
yeah it's the capital of connecticut is that montpelier no it's vermont yeah oh shit i know
connecticut hartford oh yeah let's do all the states what is oh god stop let's do what's what's
what's washington it's not Seattle. It's something else.
Some of these are hard.
I haven't done this since elementary school.
Is it Helena?
No, that's Helena, Montana.
Oh, man, we suck.
I haven't done it since I was like nine.
Washington, I'm going to say, you know, it's not Seattle,
but it could be one of those states where it's the one you don't think it is.
So I'm going to say Seattle.
I'm going to do what I did in high school, which is to say Washington City.
If you don't know it, sometimes that gets it right.
I don't think in any situation that gets it right.
You're probably right about that.
It's like that Reddit post where they tell the kid to put these five words in alphabeticalical order and he just takes the letters in each word and puts those in alphabetical order so like one of the words is is there so he just takes t-h-e-r-e and puts those letters in order
while you're can you guys do new jersey i have an unfair advantage there but it's a hard one jersey uh is is it trenton it is yeah yeah okay all right what's
multiple choice i would be i would be like 90 on this but like pulling some of them out of my ass
i'm just i'm just gonna suffer at this yeah missouri i would guess st louis is it right
that's jefferson city i know north dakota yes north dakota is bismarck right is that south
dakota i think it's i think it's bismarck north right? Is that South Dakota? I think it's Bismarck, North Dakota.
Alright, this was ironic. I didn't
mean to get us on the captain's ticket. This is the worst bit ever,
but I'm having a lot of fun with it.
Especially for anyone, like there's a few
people in the US are like, yeah, it is
kind of hard, huh? But the people from like
fucking Europe are like, Jesus
fucking Christ.
It's funny, you think anyone from the US is going to join
our side. They'd be like, these fucking three adult idiots don't know any from the u.s is going to join our side they'd be like
these fucking three adult idiots don't know any of the capitals they're not wrong can we
back to build that space of my brain with actors names all right that's so gone for a bit there
was a piece of me that felt like i was somehow virtuous by wanting a $15 minimum wage on some level.
I also understand.
You guys have all heard me say you compete with automation and overseas labor.
You can't just make the minimum wage whatever you want.
But it was like, you know what?
Enough is enough.
Everybody should be rich.
And then I started to look at myself through another lens.
And it's like, I'm not offering to pay more.
I'm just saying he should pay him more.
Aren't I pretty special for thinking that?
Aren't I quite the gentleman and full of kindness for thinking that that guy
should pay that guy more?
And it's like, ah, that's not really that impressive at all.
I looked up the minimum wage from when I earned it to now,
and it's actually inflation rate.
I keep hearing this argument that if minimum wage kept up with inflation,
that it'd be like $25 an hour now or something wild like that.
I think it's if it kept up with cost of living.
It's what they usually use.
Okay.
Because I couldn't explain the delta.
Which isn't fair.
Maybe that does so i used to
the people who have to live on minimum wage i used an inflation calculator and i pumped in in 1986
i was 13 years old i couldn't make the minimum i they i got paid less than minimum wage it was
three dollars an hour but i was working illegally so they could pay me anything they wanted. And $3 an hour,
I worked it forward and it was like $7.25 or something. The next year I earned the actual
minimum wage, which was $3.35, put it in the inflation calculator and it was like, excuse me,
$7.65. I'll do it again right now. Inflation calculator. Yeah, it was like 625, I think. Or no, no, it was like 550 when I was 16, I think.
We'll do that next.
So in...
15, when I was 15.
1987.
I just happened to know the minimum wage was 335.
So this year that would make it 771.
And is the minimum wage 725 or 765?
Do you guys know?
I have no idea. I think it's in the low sevens. And is the minimum wage $7.25 or $7.65? Do you guys know?
I have no idea.
I think it's in the low sevens.
It is $7.25.
So it's $7.25.
And when I earned the minimum wage, it was the equivalent of $7.71, which is more, right? I'm not knocking that, but they led me to believe it was like $25 or something really out of line with $7.25.
I think if they tried to make it $10, they'd get general agreement, but they're not.
They're asking for $15, and I want everyone to make that.
Fuck, I want everyone to make $30 or want everyone to make 30 or 100 i don't
know it'd probably be different like it seems like doing that federally is is kind of odd too
because it's like very very different in manhattan than oklahoma city like it it seems a little odd
to have the same rule everywhere i'd be interested to see i haven't followed this at all and i don't
know enough about economics to know anything but i'd be interested to see or hear like, what is the, like if they put, let's say they
put $15 nationally, that's the new thing.
How would that impact companies like Walmart, Target, Amazon versus companies like the remaining,
you know, 48% of small businesses that, you know, are still here from a year and.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I'm curious about what.
Isn't McDonald's one of the biggest uh employers like i know walmart is like number one in like the south specifically
maybe in the whole u.s walmart's number one in the whole u.s i think mcdonald's is up there too
mcdonald's is pretty high up there but like if i'm a mcdonald's's corporate guy and they tell me, okay, now your cost of labor is double what it is now, then I'm getting on that fucking machine that makes burgers and fries right away.
And works self-checkout, right?
Would be probably a popular thing.
Fucking self-checkout. If you can run your McDonald's with like two people now instead of like six and you've got like three quarters of a million dollars worth of machinery that'll pay itself off in 10 years.
Like, yeah, do that.
Do the self-checkout shit.
You have one person like watching the front, one person watching the back, maybe two.
You're good, right? So that ties into something I've been saying,
which is everyone competes with automation and overseas labor.
So McDonald's, that checkout drive
person could potentially be anywhere, right?
If it's a sophisticated IT system, that guy could be in India, or they could just be one guy.
Why don't you use cash?
Maybe
I've got an
American dude who just works
rush hours all day long.
I hit the eastern, central,
mountain, and
Pacific time zones and I just
fill in on that extra
throughput you need to handle the lunch hour.
Like that. I don't know. I lunch hour. And, you know, like that.
I don't know.
I don't know how it works exactly, but they get more efficient. They wouldn't just have eight people for Big Shift.
I want everyone to make more.
It just seems nice.
Although I'm really just giving somebody's money to somebody else.
Yeah, I just don't have an opinion anymore.
I don't give a fuck.
I don't know what the right answer is.
So I feel like my,
I feel like an uneducated opinion is worthless and that's kind of what I
have.
I just don't know.
We've got four hours to fill.
You can't fucking believe that.
Yeah.
A lot of times people point to a specific cost,
right?
They say,
Oh,
the cost of college has done this, right?
It's grown far faster than inflation has.
And they use that as an argument that minimum wage needs to be higher.
And on one level, I get it.
That's a thing that minimum wage employees might be paying for, college.
On another level, it's like, well, you kind of cherry-picked that one, didn't you?
You know, you didn't choose bread or milk or something more generic.
Anyway, maybe just me that finds that.
I've been following the minimum wage thing a bunch because it's hot in the news right now.
So what was your first average rent, Woody, like when you lived on your own?
So this one's not gonna support it was 390 but it was a particular like i stayed in a low-income housing unit that was the one
where the guy underneath me beat his wife and sold drugs and um jesus well what was the first
average one right yeah yeah like i lived in pretty much a ghetto
on my first place so i think a lot of people might hear 390 and think it's insanely cheap
but you probably get a place like that now in jersey for like 790 or 690 and it would still
suck um i want to say i paid oh jesus christ It says rent priced 390 in 1983 is the equivalent of that's 1983.
It would be later for you.
We needed this.
It'd be equivalent of 1343 now in 2021.
But can you change the date?
Yeah, I can change the date.
Make it 93.
I think I lived on my own then.
93.
390 in 1993 is $894.35 now.
Okay.
Okay, I just found the apartment complex
that was my first apartment.
Really?
I'm going to see what it costs now.
I hope mine's torn down.
Mine was like $550, $600 a month.
And let's see what it is now.
Colossal Landing Apartments.
Dude, that's when I learned the importance of paying more for rent.
So my apartment, this is the actual apartment I stayed in.
The person before me left their animal behind.
And that animal destroyed it.
Right?
They had to replace the drywall.
Not paint it.
Replace it because it was urine soaked
and disgusting. They had to replace the carpets because it was urine soaked and an animal died
and rotted on the carpets, right? So they couldn't just like vacuum it and send it to the next guy.
So when I went to like tour that apartment, I was like, this place is new. It was like fresh
construction. It was lovely. And I'm like, I can't believe I was like, this place is new. It was like fresh construction.
It was lovely.
And I'm like,
I can't believe I'm getting this place for three 90.
And then I realized that what you pay for is not just the apartment.
You're paying to keep poor neighbors away.
And I didn't pay for that.
So I didn't get it.
Maybe this was it.
What do you say? You're looking for your place.
Looking for original maps link. Ah, this is it. What do you say? You're looking for your place? Looking for your original apartment?
Ah, this is it.
This is it.
Man, I have not seen this in a couple decades.
Yeah, I want to look at my old college apartment
and see if there's pictures on the inside.
So, yeah, it was 600 when I stayed there.
And now, let's see.
And what year was that?
2005.
Looks like
now it's like
800, 848.
So it's gone up by 200 since 16 years ago 16 years it's not bad i mean 30
yeah i just don't know enough about the surrounding math of any of this but i agree with you woody and
that like like viscerally i'm like yeah it does seem like about time the minimum wage went up
but then when people were like, but have you considered this?
And it's like, no, I haven't.
It's weird that they're bundling it into the COVID bill because a lot of jobs that pay minimum wage are especially hard hit right now.
You know, imagine the sales at a boardwalk store today or restaurant or I don't know all sorts of little retail like i bet taylor's
tied into this just how smashed retail is during the pandemic um and now you want to raise their
labor costs because i'm feeling generous you know like i don't know how it would impact retail but
i assume like companies like walmart are going to be able to handle that a lot easier than some restaurant who's already trying to get by on savings. And now and they're having to,
oh, we only have 30 percent capacity. And it's like, well, now we're not even we have no margin,
even when we're open, we're losing money staying open. We have to stay open. And so I would imagine
that might be enough to crush those businesses. That lady at the gym front desk who ignores you when you check in.
That's a minimum wage job, probably.
And they're not killing it right now.
Gyms, restaurants, all sorts of places that have cheap labor.
Yeah.
It's sad how many small businesses are just gone, not coming back, especially restaurants and shit.
What comes next?
Like, I believe that this vacuum will be a board and will be filled with something.
Will it be gig economy type things?
Will unskilled labor fire up, like, home cleaning services without friction?
You know, can you just hire, like, Uber cleans and get someone to work around here babysitting?
Like those services, gig stuff seems interesting to me.
I don't know, but I just have this idea that there are unskilled sounds like an insult, but it's what I'm trying to say.
You know, unskilled labor that that isn't employed at every mom and pop shop in center of town anymore what
are they doing is it there is yeah i don't even know i mean uh the gig economy and people turning
to that it doesn't seem to be out of desire it's more out of desperation where it's like
i i lost my job that was traditionally more stable and so now i have have to drive 10 PM to 6 AM, you know,
Fridays, Saturday, Sunday, Monday, every time, you know, to drive people home from bars or from
restaurants or whatever. So like that, you know, the gig economy is really good for the end
consumer. I think, you know, it's very convenient. You know, there's a million services you can do
where someone just a normal person can go grab your food for you, bring it to you or whatever
it is. But like, I would imagine the people who are making the vast majority of their income from these
gig economy jobs like they have to be living under a tremendous amount of stress they they don't have
any sort of benefits they don't have health coverage health coverage is so fucking expensive
anyway so like how many hours a month are they working just to cover that minimum uh you know
they don't want to get penalized on their taxes for not having it.
So it's like it puts gig people in a really tough spot.
So hopefully something comes back with semblance of normality to give people more stable jobs, but who knows?
I imagine after this is all said and done,
there's going to be even more of a handful of giant companies
that control everything.
Amazon, they're not going to slow down.
They've made it very clear they're going to keep dominating anything they touch they're good they have a good service and they deliver in two
days uh you know you read stuff uh i know sometimes never in the washington post funny
enough uh about like bad work conditions at amazon and things like that and nonsense where
they'll oh i read something about this that blew my mind. It was like Amazon, they were going to, they're having voting on
unionization at Amazon and, uh, Amazon offered them and said, Hey, if you resign before the vote,
we'll give you a $2,000 bonus and we will rehire you right after the vote
to make sure that they don't have to unionize and it's like that is
fucking despicable that is absolutely despicable i heard that we're pro-using unionization ads
running on twitch which as you know amazon owns and they cut that shit out yeah no fuck that
how did you hear that about amazon give you you a $2,000 bonus. Yeah, exactly.
And they'll rehire you just because they do not want to unionize.
Dude, unions.
I've been on both sides of the union issue.
When I lived in New Jersey, unions were stronger.
They were strong.
You know, this is like the 90s and 80s and stuff.
And unions had power.
People, they were in the union.
Union was like a sense of their identity, you know?
Like, who am I?
I'm number 56 on the high school football team.
I'm local 39 iron worker.
Like, this is who they were.
It had to do with their friend group, their social status.
And they were, like, together, ape strong.
Cool.
When I lived in Jersey, I hated unions.
Because I always saw the bad part of it.
You still see some now.
Like some cop can beat an elderly man while screaming stop resisting.
And the union's right there to defend him and make sure he keeps his job and lands on his feet.
Get him a lawyer, get him all that shit.
They're defending the indefensible.
indefensible and i saw it so often like completely incompetent almost malicious workers getting union saviors attorneys you know fighting to keep their job like this guy's been caught
high at work as a train operator engineer repeatedly and i'm like, I take that. Train gets there on time? No. What? No, never.
Oh, fuck.
I knew I had to do something today.
I was supposed to be driving that train at work.
We're just happy when it stops at the stops.
I'm usually doing something on Monday.
If I'm a fucking train conductor, I'm going to want to be high.
I want to be good and high.
So in Jersey, hated unions.
Now I come to North Carolina, right?
What's the state minimum wage?
There isn't one.
It's the federal propping it where it is.
Workers protection.
No, just fucking turn the screws.
North Carolina unskilled labor gets fucked.
And now that there's no union here, I'm like, oh, well, maybe there was something to that.
And neither side seems to be perfect, but I do see both of them now.
Anyway, Amazon union.
I mean, I see how apparently it's pretty miserable there.
I do love it.
I ordered a tape measure for my bicep this week.
And I know I set forth a chain of human sacrifice and misery to get it to me in two days.
But it came.
What was your measurement?
It was 15 inches.
I don't have big biceps.
How much?
15.
15.
15 or 15 and a quarter.
I didn't have a pump. I might be able to get 15 and a quarter I didn't have a pump
I might be able to get 15 and a quarter if I tried harder
but that's where I am
but yeah
I ordered it and I'm like this is the stupidest
fucking vanity purchase I've made so far
this year
you just have to find something else to measure
measure your skull
oh it's another measurement
where I won't keep pace with the show.
Yeah, where's my caliper?
Where's that caliper
I spent $80 on and lost?
If you find yours, I know where mine is.
It's in the kitchen.
We can do a little skull comparison.
Get to the bottom of this once and for all.
I gotta find it.
The head honcho is on the hunt.
Is he getting a caliper or
a tape? A caliper would actually be funny
especially if it's one of those phrenology
calipers that's like the
claw machine thing.
But he's getting the
measuring
rototape thingy. He may.
He called it a caliper so I think he may have
a prop that he bought for live streaming.
Yeah, vocabulary is usually his strong suit,
but the caliper is confusing me.
I think it's going to turn out to be a caliper.
We'll see.
If he pulls out a caliper,
I'll be impressed.
Yeah, I wanted to get it.
I'm trying to grow.
So I have a lagging body part.
It's biceps.
And I'm like, I should get a before measurement.
See if I can go anywhere with it.
I've seen people on the internet.
They put those.
It kind of looks like a sweat band, but it's more elastic.
And they put it above the bicep.
And the result is more blood is forced into the bicep and stays in it.
So they get like a ridiculous pump.
And it's not just to like inflate your bicep.
You're like, look, it got this big.
It's because getting a pump is a big part of getting nutrients pushed into that muscle fiber and like making the muscle grow.
Is it called constricting?
Or there's a term for that where they reduce the
blood flow when they this is during the exercise right yeah yeah like while you're working out
these guys have this like it's like a an elastic band right above the bicep and below the the you
know like right here like below the uh the delt blood flow occ. I think I've heard it called Occlusion Training.
I have seen it on the internet.
I've never done it.
I don't know if it...
I don't know.
I do have a t-shirt or two.
Do you remember the Ultimate Warrior?
Of course.
I'm going to show people for...
I'm looking at Ultimate.
His costume had these bands around his biceps and this is a good picture
were you really pumped him up for the ring oh yeah oh yeah he's cheating so hard dude it gives
you definition between your deltoids and biceps that is just awesome.
I have a couple t-shirts that are tight in that same spot and have a similar.
I feel like a peacock wearing it.
Just like, look at me.
Because they're doing him some favors.
The Ultimate Warrior's got some traps that are making me wonder if he's all natural or not.
I have that same suspicion.
Something about the Ultimate Warrior's physique is saying enhanced to me.
I see it.
I see it.
If you scroll down, he's really vascular.
Good golly.
But those bands are giving him more than he would have had on his own.
Yeah.
Yeah,
they definitely are.
And if,
if I can narrow down which shirts are doing that and rebuy my whole wardrobe
is going to have that effect.
You know,
you're like,
um,
you're like 30% stronger on your negatives.
Yeah.
On something like bicep curls.
So,
uh,
cheat it up,
you know, like, like rock curls. Cheat it up.
Rock your hips and throw it back.
Not every rep, obviously, but
once you're like,
I'm 10 in, I can either quit
or I can just really cheat the fuck out of this
and
do the negative.
I do. Yeah, that's how I do it.
It's pretty strict form while I can, and then I cheat some more.
Shit, I'll do that on a lat pulldown.
Sure.
Get a little more.
Did you find your caliper?
No.
I don't know where the hell it is.
Was it a caliper that you were looking for, like the pinchers?
Yeah, the pinchers.
It was.
That's what I did on the stream like six months ago now.
I don't know where I put it.
I mean, it's a very nice caliper.
It's the same caliper that melon farmers use to determine if they're market grade or something.
No, it's to determine when a cow is ready for slaughter, idiot.
Were you ready to go?
Yeah.
Yeah.
I was overdue.
What was that?
Months prior.
What was it Ralph said when they were...
I graduated from Bovine University.
Something like that.
Bovine University.
I'm learning.
I'm feeling English english that's impossible
he's one of my favorite characters like he's top five yeah ralph's good i just fucking i love the
simpsons he's fucking top five seasons are so good he's great fucking even flanders is a funny
character flanders is done well everybody's better early on
I haven't watched any of the like last 10 years
of The Simpsons and I don't think I ever will
I think I'll just let it
just remember it the way it was
it's probably the best
it's probably the best
what do you watch it now Taylor?
what do you watch it now?
oh uh
when I'm working out
yeah I was watching The Expanse last week Watch it now. Oh, when I'm working out.
Yeah.
I haven't watched.
I was watching The Expanse last week.
I haven't picked that up again in a bit.
I need to watch more Expanse.
I'm still in, I think, the end of season two there.
Maybe very beginning.
No, I finished season two.
I'm about to start season three.
So I need to jump back into that again.
Other than that, when I'm working out and I'm thinking about other stuff, i'm having to like take breaks off and then like send emails or do you know offline
work stuff uh i'll just throw on like the simpsons or family guy or some nonsense show i've seen a
hundred times king of the hill king of the hill i haven't watched in like six seven months yeah
only like five months i can re-watch it again so for my like mindless like just to have something playing
a tv show right now it's star trek the next generation again i'm going through and watching
like the episodes that i haven't seen multiple times i'm coming to realize there's a reason i
kept skipping them because they're just crapping terrible uh but um the the show that's premiering
that i'm really into right now is still Snowpiercer.
Season two is premiering week to week, and I'm following it, watching it as soon as it comes out.
I know you guys haven't picked it up yet, so I'll go ahead and spoil who the new actor is for season two.
It's Sean Bean from Lord of the Rings.
They added Sean Bean to the show, and he
is wonderful.
He is a really great villain,
which is what they needed.
So he's going to die again.
He is. God, I hope they get
him soon. He's just a monster.
He's the guy running in the front
of the train, I assume.
I don't want to go too much into the details, but
he is a real sociopathic megalomaniac.
He's just dark.
He gets this one guy fails him.
And Sean Bean knows this guy has failed him in a certain way.
And he's like, oh, come on in, come on in,
to the nice part of the train.
And he's like, you've been working hard.
You must be cold. How'd you like a because you know water is kind of in short supply i think
everybody's taking cold showers or whatever but he's got a nice like victorian freestanding tub
in there he's like how would you like a bath it's like i don't know sir right you know it's
no no no take your clothes off i'll He's just turning the tap on and everything.
The guy's stripping down naked.
Sean Bean starts stripping down naked, too.
They get in the bathtub together, sort of facing
each other and continuing their conversation.
That's just breezed by.
Yes.
It's very awkward.
Sean Bean
says something to him. He's like,
while you were over there, did you have anything to eat?
And the guy's like, well, they had chicken.
They had chicken wings.
And did you have any?
Well, I was just so hungry.
Ah, so they know that you were hungry.
I'm sorry, sir hungry i'm sorry sir i'm sorry i was i haven't had chicken in seven years well and he gets out a straight razor well it'll all be over soon you know you've
served me well for these years and he's the guy takes the straight razor from Sean Bean and he's just like, do I have to, sir?
Go ahead.
It'll all be over quickly.
And the guy fucking cuts his own wrists in the bathtub and bleeds out right there in the bathtub with Sean Bean
while Sean Bean watches his life drain out of his body.
Sean Bean stays in the bath?
Yeah.
Okay.
I think he's into that.
I think he likes being in the tub with people while they die because it's not the first time he's into that. I think he likes being in the tub with people while they die
because it's not the first time he's done it.
This is a recurring theme,
that he has people kill themselves in the tub.
Yes, yes.
With him.
And he's naked,
so he's taking a big risk
handing the blade to another guy in the tub with him.
Oh, the guy would...
I mean, that other guy would be taking a
big risk if he tried to do anything with that blade because like a like a combat expert no but
like like he's god he's he might as well be like like even if you struck him down two henchmen
would come and kill you immediately basically one of his henchmen is one of the scariest things I've ever seen. So he has this henchman they call Icy Bob.
And Icy Bob is, I'm going to say he's 6'7", maybe 300 pounds.
And he has undergone this treatment where they have like winterized him.
And he has all of this like these patches of like synthetic skin fused all over his
body so his face looks like a a puzzle that's been hastily put together it's like a patchwork of of
like flesh with like these ridiculous like scars in between and he can withstand like this negative
100 degree fahrenheit temperature for like not for a day or anything,
but for like seconds and minutes at a time. So like when, whenever they're having like this big
battle in one of the train cars, they just turn the fucking cold air on from the outside and it's
blasting. And to a normal person, it touches them and they're screaming in pain. You know,
the skin just immediately frostbites
off your body but i see bob is just wading through it just fucking crushing people i see bob yeah
yeah like there's a part where i saw a picture he's very scary looking like what do you want us
to do mr wilford he's like send in bulb and they're like i see bob or greasy bob do you even
have to ask?
I don't know who Greasy Bob is, but I'd hate to see him.
I don't know what his deal is.
He's all slippery.
What's he going to do?
He doesn't walk.
He just slithers.
He's Greasy Bob.
Quick, quick, quick.
Getting buttered up in his prison.
Yeah, it's a wild show like like i didn't know how they
were gonna like make a second season because again i don't want to give too many spoilers but it's
it's it's quite a bit different than what you saw in the movie like like things are not in the the
pieces are not in the same positions that they were in the movie to say the least but uh you got like two or three strong actors and two or three more like
good supporting actors and uh and a really interesting premise and i'm into it it's uh
i think it's on tnt which is like whatever um i think i watched the first season for free on hbo
and then uh i purchased the second season for like 22 bucks or something like that
because like you know I finished the whole season of this shit and then they give you the first
episode for free and I'm like I want to see what happens next and there's two more already
ready to like watch if I just plunk down a little cash so I I just did it and i i like the show i don't think it's it's not game
of thrones you know pre pre-abortion it's it's not like a breaking bad type level show but it's
it's like a strong it's a strong show it's a real strong six a real weak seven out of ten
type show that i think premise and the premise can pull it a long way that's that's pretty neat
the premise is really neat and uh you know like i said there's there's a couple premise, and the premise can pull it a long way. That's pretty neat. The premise is really neat, and like I said,
there's a couple of actors that are pretty cool,
and it's very brutal violence, very brutal violence,
lots of dismemberment, cannibalism, very bloody, gory stuff.
A lot of freezing-related things where limbs are cracking and shattering.
Freezing torture, that's a method of tortureattering freezing torture like like that's that's
a method of torture they have like a hose that's sort of connected to the outside and they they
can sort of use it like an airbrush instrument to like freeze one of your fingers and then shatter
it with a hammer if you're not going to talk um that happens um and uh there are some like
it'll be like like the like sean beans clearly like a bad guy
yeah but like some of his henchmen are like gerbils level evil it's it's like like oh he's
got people that work for him who are actually fucking evil so like truly evil i see bob's
actually a decent guy he's just he's just got a job to do i just i just saw a picture
of me doesn't look like a decent guy looks like a monster he spoke in the last episode and you're
like oh i expect him to be like a mongoloid or something he's just like you know you really
shouldn't cross them they're scary people and i'm like if icy bob's afraid of these people
then they that's who i'm referring to like
the people that icy bob is icy bob is warning one character about two other characters he's like
don't cross them don't rub them the wrong way they're dangerous and it's like that if icy bob's
afraid of these people these people are like the scariest people in the show and sure enough like
like they're like super scary,
like experimenting on human beings,
evil kind of people.
I mean,
that wasn't icy Bob experimented on.
Exactly.
So that's why he knows they're,
they're no good.
Yeah.
They probably turned him into icy.
Pretty decent show.
I,
I,
it's,
it's,
it's got the Kyle two thumbs up for like recommendation.
Um,
that,
uh,
that last show I was watching,
uh, what was it that I recommended? And then i withdrew my recommendation tower series no it was uh the stand you're close
also steven king um dark tower might be an interesting series i those books lost me i
started reading those in prison and i was just like oh my god i he gets even more than usual come on steven how much coke were you
doing when you're writing this shit uh but yeah the stand lost me around episode eight out of ten
or something like that and i went back and finished it man it really goes off the rails after that it
you know he's bad with endings and i it's like it ends twice it's one of those movies it's
like all right we took care of the bad guy now everything's hunky-dory and then the characters
are like i don't know let's get a little more trouble and they spent a whole other episode
like getting in some more trouble and then end it and it's like god you're terrible at this steven
like like you need some you need a second writer to come in at the end
and put the finishing touches on the masterpieces that you write.
The endings would suck just differently.
They wouldn't fit.
They'd be Lego pieces that don't go together.
Like J.K. Rowling, say what you want,
but Harry Potter has a pretty decent fucking ending.
There's a few things I'd change around, but at the end of those books, I've read them multiple times, and the movies, they're very similar the way they end.
You're like, yeah, all right.
It all worked out in the end.
What happens in the end of Harry Potter?
Does he get married and just live a normal wizard life?
Well, so he's got the big face-off with Voldemort, finally.
He wins.
He wins.
And a couple of the other characters step up big.
Many, many of the good characters die, and it's quite sad.
Lupin and Tonks die, I believe.
And it's pretty sad at the end.
One of the Weasley twins dies quite sad uh and um
huh movie two i don't remember that yeah yeah and um but you know our main group of characters
all make it mostly unscathed harry ron hermione they all make it and uh then there's like a prologue or whatever
you call it and i i don't know i guess i won't tell you he's gone but but yeah it ends well
i i think it i think harry potter is gonna be up there with like the on the mount Rushmore of like fantasy for a long, long time.
Uh, I saw the other day,
someone pointing out just how much stuff she stole from Tolkien,
you know,
like,
like comparing characters in the Harry Potter universe to the Lord of the
Rings universe.
And it's like,
God damn it.
I,
that's pretty accurate. yeah yeah did he establish the universe
tolkien like like did he create elves and dwarves and yeah but like elves and dwarves that as we
know them are a tolkien invention but they're also like we know them that's how you do it right
now the answer keys out that you can't just make elves something else in the same way that like if Tolkien invention. But they're also like, we know them. That's how you do it right now.
The answer keys out that you can't just make elves something else in the same
way that like if vampires and werewolves and fairies and something existed in a
new thing,
I wouldn't say,
Oh,
you copied that.
It's like,
well,
no,
that's just what werewolves are.
But,
but you can,
you can have a different shift on it,
right?
Like,
like for example,
you don't have to do,
uh, Mary Shelley's Frankenstein or Bram Stoker's Dracula. have a different shift on it right like for example you don't have to do uh mary shelley's
frankenstein or bram stoker's dracula you can do a movie like 30 days of night where the vampires
are showing up up in alaska where you've got 30 days of night because it's so uh high up in the
and and these vampires are very uh feral almost and it's a they're not these sexy, suave,
like illusion-based vampires.
They don't turn into anything.
They're vicious and cruel.
And feral is the word.
And they work in a pack.
You can put a little twist on it.
Whereas if you look at...
One of the examples that was given was
in Harry Potter.
Harry Potter's got the scar that hurts whenever he's in contact with Voldemort or connected with Voldemort in some way.
Just like Frodo has the scar from Weathertop that hurts him all the time whenever he's around the Nazgul.
the Nazgul and then Gollum
Gollum and
it's hard to remember all these characters' names
Dobby are basically
very similar characters
and it went down a
line. There was a whole litany of these
play for play
like Gandalf
is fucking
Dumbledore. They're just so
similar and it's like, come on. Dumbledore. They're just so similar.
It's like, come on.
Dumbledore is way more badass and powerful.
That's a real nerd discussion that happens online,
who wins Dumbledore or Gandalf.
Did Dumbledore come back to life when he died?
He existed as...
No, the answer's given already but but he's in the afterlife able to like you know
still communicate with harry yeah still be dead self-cross is over but but you know gandalf is a
fucking essentially an angel he's a demigod so i like that about lord of the rings with gandalf
that like and i i never got into harry pot Potter my youngest brother watched the movies and I didn't like how there was a spell for everything where you know Hermione would be like
oh thank god I learned this this afternoon to get us out of this pinch I like that and then but like
Gandalf there's times it would be like what are we going to do great wizard and it's like well I'm
drawing my sword too I don't I don't have unlimited magic, bro. I don't know, John Rhys-Davies.
What are we going to do?
I don't know, John Rhys-Davies.
The tallest guy on the cast playing Gimli.
Huge dude.
And it makes sense they had to do that because they're like,
all right, we need a guy who looks like a dwarf,
but the only people like that are like six foot five.
So we need him.
John Rhys-Davies, I knew him from a tv show called sliders back in the day on that
was him wow i just put that together because a fake nose in lord of the rings yeah um yeah that
she she borrows a lot but still i i love harry potter and i one of the things that always
made me fantasize about existing that is probably the universe that i fantasized the most
about existing within like i was like yeah harry potter because i loved the way magic worked there
and the whole wizarding world and like the the whole idea of it like everything about it seemed
very attractive to me i liked the idea i would be like the fuck harry why aren't you studying don't you want to
know all these wondrous spells i would be a hermione i thought that too like like you're
telling me there's a library full of books and like every page is another fucking magical spell
that i could memorize and master and there's a there's a whole class of potions and some of these potions give me like
infinite luck yeah it's like like yeah yeah yeah oh you know there's all sorts of like
make your there's a whole bunch of rule 34 shit where people are like zoop making their cocks huge
and then banging each other with the giant cocks and stuff and there's a bunch of like like even
in the books hermione like makes herself prettier with magic uh like like there's a how so someone someone puts a spell on her that makes
her teeth grow like super big and they were already big like like one of her character traits
is like she's got ugly big teeth and so when she shrinks them back she's like and a little extra
and like makes them nice like like instead of going back to her original buck
teeth she's like yeah wow we're here you know and like like gives herself nice teeth you get the
nail on the head with like the feeling like you should study because i do remember watching it
with my brother and seeing that redhead kid who's friends with hermione and uh harry ron being like
i don't want to study school sucks and it was like dude you're in you're in fireball
class right now yeah you're in ice beam class and you're acting like this is long division like i
would be early to class every day like you're gonna blow something up today even if not even
if we learn how to like make plants grow faster i'm game i'm game i want to have i want to have
the biggest potatoes like there was
they're like oh not herbology where we have to work oh yeah
oh he went to potatoes the fuck i don't know for sure but you guys have been accused of enjoying
the devil's lettuce now and then i i can't imagine you'd use your herbology yeah but the magic is unlimited i can have delicious potatoes
roasted with rosemary as i'm smoking my enormous pot
yeah that would be man you could not control bad kids at hogwarts like it would take no time at all
for kids to kill each other especially if you're giving them books and all they have to do is like mispronounce something to to accidentally burn the place down
or fuck something up yeah that would be the most unrealistic part there'd be so much rape
i just fantasize so much i started reading when i was maybe 12 13 why would there be more rape
because like like uh lucius malfoy the bad would cast like Staticus or something and then it's like, oh,
Hermione can't move and then he would just go rape her.
On a counter argument,
he could rape her as a normal
person. Like, boys can't rape girls.
Yeah, but these people don't even unlock
locks without wizardry.
Like, they don't even walk up to
a doorknob and open it.
They...
You could... there's that spell
where you can it's called polyjuice
potion it's a potion and
you get a little bit of like Taylor's
hair and you make that one of the ingredients
and now when you drink it you
transform into Taylor for a period
of time and like
that's something I can't do
and you just be
transforming into like hot chicks and whoring yourself out all the time you can't do. And you'd just be transforming into like hot chicks
and whoring yourself out all the time.
You wouldn't need a job.
You just, you just,
like Woody's always wanted to be a girl and get fucked.
Like Woody would have me,
like, oh, it's the hardest potion to make, huh?
Well, let's start cracking the books, boys.
But teenage me was like,
I need to look like that chick's boyfriend.
That was my thought process to the old switcheroo
no you turn yourself into the girl and then you just squat over yeah kyle went straight to being
a girl and getting fucked and whoring out huh yeah i'm laying all the hottest chicks in school
by being the hottest girl about making some galleons all right what was the name of the
class where you learned the the best stuff the ice beams, the fire beams, summoning, some sort of –
Defense against the – well, it depended who was teaching that year.
God, this is coming off poorly.
It depends who was teaching that year, but defense against the dark arts class was the offensive defensive spell class.
It was about fighting.
Well, and that's the coolest one.
It depends who was teaching the class that year. The year that Lupin
taught, which I believe was third year,
was a great year because he's like
Harry's uncle kind of figure.
But then later on, some
of the most awful characters
in the books taught
that class as a way to
hold Harry back
in a way.
But yeah, Defense Against the Dark Arts
was like the offensive-defensive spell class.
Harry taught a year of that.
He made it all the way to teacher.
Well, there was a year where
Hogwarts is infiltrated by the Ministry of Magic, you see.
And so Harry takes it upon himself to teach the class because the actual
teacher is refusing to actually teach anything so the the children all get together and say harry
you should teach us and so they use the room of requirement which is like this hidden room in the
castle that becomes whatever you need it to be they go into there every night and they train
it's very much a hollow deck a magical hollow deck and they go in
there and harry teaches them all the things that he's learned over the years you know because he's
had to face off and teach the teachers the teachers didn't want to teach they're on strike because of
the the invasion of the ministry of magic they were um the the the the viewpoint of the ministry
of magic was that vo Voldemort had not returned
and they would not hear anything else.
Actually, this year, the Hogwarts had been taken over by Voldemort's henchmen.
And so, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
This is the year before that.
Yeah, yeah.
Ministry of Magic's position was that Voldemort had not returned and they also did
not want any of that stuff taught so the teacher they put into place is one of the most evil
characters ever written in a book is that horrible woman that dresses in pink lady yeah she's the
worst and and she won't teach anything she's making them read books and like the theory of
self-defense it's like if you go to your like jujitsu class and everybody just cracks a book and talks about what an
armbar would hypothetically look
like. And you're like, well, what if I actually need to apply an
armbar in a self-defense scenario?
Who will you be defending
yourself against? I don't know. Attackers?
Where are these
attackers?
No one's going to attack you.
So she was the bad guy who was setting
them up for failure so they
wouldn't be prepared for a bet the bad guy attack worse she was a bad guy who didn't know she was a
bad guy which she was just an evil person who didn't have an agenda other than that of her
she didn't even have anything to gain by being bad no she didn't know know that Voldemort was back. She didn't care.
She was just a bureaucrat,
power-hungry sociopath.
She sucks.
The coolest character is the guy in the woods who talks with spiders and stuff.
That's Hagrid. Hagrid's a cool guy.
I could do a whole Harry Potter
podcast because it's one of my
I might like it more in the Tolkien universe.
I'm really into it, but I'll spare everyone anyway.
Kyle, I've been wanting you to do this Star Trek talk.
So there was a question from the Patreon.
He asked for it.
And I want to get it exactly right.
It basically was, you're a Starfleet captain.
Do you want Spock or Data, Lieutenant Data, on your crew?
Data.
Why?
I mean, he's incredibly advanced.
He's super intelligent.
He's 100% loyal.
One of the biggest advantages that Data often provided was there would be scenarios where he would not be affected by the anomaly or whatever.
He's non-biological,
right?
He's an Android.
So like something would happen that like made everybody devolve into like
whatever they came from.
People are turning into lizards and,
and spiders and lemurs and stuff.
Well,
he's a robot. He's not going to
devolve. He's not infected by any of the diseases. He's not affected by a lot of that stuff. There's
an episode where they stumble upon this alien race that doesn't want to be discovered. They're
isolationists. And so their solution to this is to erase people's memories and hur, like hurl them back out of their space.
And the people wake up and they're like, Oh, what happened? I don't know. Let's get out of here.
But the enterprise is very inquisitive. So like they, they do that and the enterprises comes back
and they're like, all right, we're going to destroy them. And data's like, Whoa, I'll cover
the tracks. Send us back again. I'll make sure they don't come back. And so there's this
whole episode where like data is clearly lying to everyone. And everybody's like, why is data
lying to us? He's lying about this. The computer's clock doesn't add up to what actually happened.
We weren't just knocked out for 30 seconds. It was eight hours. What was data up to? And they're
so inquisitive. They've got to go back and and
figure it out and aliens are like all right we're killing them all now and they and they're like
we can we can try it again put us all asleep again and data will do it right this time like
so for that reason data's got so many advantages as a machine over just annoyingly see spock isn't
even isn't even full vulcan so like his human side takes over
sometimes and he's a real piece of shit like he gets emotional there's an episode where he gets
sprayed by this fucking pollen on this planet and it makes him like super emotional and he's
wanting to like quit starfleet and like go on some sort of peace and love tour or something
there's an episode where data gets drunk and fucks the chief of security um tasha yar yes uh yeah um she that i don't remember exactly what the effect to data was
i think data was all a-okay and he was himself but everyone else was turned in like horny versions
of themselves and she shows up with like that Superman doopty do coming down her face from
her hair.
And she's wearing like a low cut Jennifer Lopez,
like 1998 Oscars kind of dress or whatever.
And she's like,
are you fully functional?
And he's like,
I've been trained in 37 methods of human fuckery.
And she's like, Oh really? And it's just like it's like yeah so today
he gets laid uh yeah yeah uh spock was just the original series sucks they didn't have the budget
they know what they were fucking doing it's it's a lot of the core the skeletons of a good show
are there but like there's no meat on those bones.
TNG is where it's at, and then Deep Space Nine afterwards,
and everything else is a fucking abomination.
All right.
Hey, have you paid any attention to this new game, Valheim?
Are you familiar with it?
I messaged you guys about Valheim about a month ago,
saying we should jump on that bandwagon.
Yeah.
Apparently, the early access beta is wildly successful.
They have tens of thousands of players.
I just learned about it.
I guess you told me about it months ago, but I relearned.
I thought I learned about it two days ago.
And I was like, ooh, here's a game the boys haven't heard of.
It seems interesting.
I tried to watch it on Twitch.
Long, boring stretches.
It was Shroud, right?
So Shroud is someone who finds action, right?
He'll play a slow-paced game quickly, Shroud can.
And I don't think I literally saw him fire a bullet or throw an axe or anything the whole time I watched.
This looks cool.
Yeah, we should definitely get the three of us in there.
And maybe even get like a patron or somebody.
I guarantee there's someone who's real fucking good at this.
Yeah, well, it's 10-player co-op.
It seems to be a decent amount of PvE, it's not exactly rust it's more minecrafty
but there's some very cool monsters in here based on the the preview i like the norse stuff
i like norse mythology um uh so that's what drew me to it and then i saw that it was like
mini player co-op and some sort of and and I liked the idea of the PVE,
frankly,
like,
like in some games I'm just like,
like PV and rust.
It's like,
get out of here.
I'm here to fucking raid.
But in a game like this,
it's like,
Oh,
this could be real laid back and fun.
Yeah.
I'll play.
I'll fill a lobby up.
I'm sure with the,
with the patrons,
um,
those guys are always down to,
you know,
jump on board with whatever we're into at the time.
Uh,
yeah.
So the survival games,
my concern is that it,
it's a big time sink,
you know,
like some games you can't play a little bit here and a little bit there.
Russia is a good example.
And I don't know where this one lands.
Yeah.
Um,
the forest is kind of like that.
Like,
like you need to play four good
solid sessions.
It probably takes a good 12 hours,
14 hours to beat
the game. It's a
co-op PvE, loose
story based kind of game
with building,
PvE combat,
weapon construction, and survival.
I don't know
anything about Valheim other than
what we've just said. I haven't seen any
footage, but I saw
how popular it was and that it was
Norse-based.
I like that shit anyway.
A lot of the tattoos that I'm looking at are
those Norse fucking tattoos.
I'm into that shit.
Yeah, I'll play anytime,
especially if we can figure out if it's a game we can take on
and, like, nibbles and bites rather than, like,
all right, buckle up, boys.
We got to play for 12 hours to get to the first load screen,
and then we can log off for the night.
Like, that's how Rust is sometimes.
It's like we can't quit.
We're, like, we're in the middle of the thing. We have to finish
this or we are left vulnerable while we
sleep. I like games where I can
quit at my leisure
whenever I want to.
Hopefully this game is like that.
Like I said, I just bought it so I'm down to play.
This looks like fun.
How much? Like $5, $10?
$20. $19.99.
We're getting rich yeah speaking of of games someone sent this to me just as we were doing the show
so magic the gathering uh made a partnership with warhammer 40k and lord of the rings and
so they're going to be making cards with warhammer 40k and lord of the rings themes
i'm gonna have to jump back into buying cards if they're physical cards i'm gonna buy the lord of
the rings set god damn it i might buy some fucking cards that's so cool dude you have no i if you
think if i'm sure you're picturing like like all the crazy lord of the rings cards you could you
come up with and like oh i want the fucking shelob card like but warhammer 40k
like has some of the most overpowered nonsense you can imagine good that fits in with like black
hole grenades and stuff like like all sorts of like ridiculous ridiculous over the top op shit
yeah this is gonna be so cool like they've got great aesthetics in the warhammer 40k universe
and obviously the lord of the rings universe is very fleshed out and cool that's gonna be really
neat especially all of the like tribal decks that are gonna come out of that because i guarantee
they'll make like a god dorian tribal rohan tribal dwarf tribal goblin tribe all of that
or uruk-hai tribal troll like they'll hopefully if they're if they build it out that way that'd
be really really really neat.
See, this kind of annoys me, though,
because it's like,
why doesn't Lord of the Rings partner with Creative Assembly
with Warhammer
and make a fucking Warhammer
Lord of the Rings game?
Like, Warhammer Lord of the Rings
would be so sick.
That would be huge.
So many people would buy that.
I'd buy two copies just to support them.
I'd buy one.
I'd play it a lot. But yeah this i just saw this news and this seems pretty cool like and i know lord of the
rings the the owners of the lord of the rings rights or whatever for the longest time they
were like no we're not selling it because i'm not gonna let you do anything because you've
fucked it up too many times and now like the new owner of the tolkien enterprises is letting them
do whatever apparently like yeah sure i could do it oh you want to remake this and on an hbo show
fuck it do it see how it goes so what if it sucks it probably will i'm rich yeah yeah who cares if
it sucks it's more content i just won't watch it i agree i agree Is it Amazon though? Right. That's making the, uh, yeah, it is Amazon.
Yeah. There's a lot of really big, um, um, pro projects on the horizon, like, like the halo live action thing on paramount plus the Lord of the Rings thing. Um, I think there's a,
there's a Harry Potter TV show in the, the works at hbo very early though okay i haven't heard about that
i'm sure that would do well like everybody who's really into harry potter is like my age or your
age now and so like that's a that's a big market of people who would buy that yeah i i what i
harry potter is so good that it survived the fucking PC stuff with J.K. Rowling,
you know, with her comments about trans people.
That's how you know you've got a powerful fucking product.
Like, is it Chris Brown that, like, beat Rihanna?
People still like his music.
Like, eh, you know, he's pretty good at music.
That guy was the ultimate, like, now I'm going to keep doing it,
where it's like, hey, we know for a fact you beat the shit out of her.
And you just said you did.
He's like, yeah, well, I got to make it to recording.
So goodbye.
Michael Jackson's another one.
He's like raping children.
And people are like, yeah, the music was pretty fly, though.
Yeah.
We can get over it. children and people are like yeah the music was pretty fly though yeah yeah we can look we can
get over it that's how he gets that youthful energy for those days i feel like kevin spacey
like dude he's fucking good at what he does feed him children if that's what he needs like like if
that's if he needs to feed upon the souls of of little boys and girls to act that well.
I'm okay with it.
I agree.
I look at that like a NIMBY policy.
Not in my backyard.
I don't want to see Kevin Spacey eating or molesting children.
But as long as those, you know, good movies keep coming out.
Keep them in Hollywood.
Yeah, keep them in Hollywood.
Far away from our shores.
We don't want them here.
Keep them over there.
Yeah. What about actors who were completely wrong for their part can you think of anyone who they just picked the wrong guy uh that guy hayden christiansen is awful and everything
he was he played uh anakin skywalker You underestimate my power.
It's like he's farting.
You know he's coming back, right?
What?
He did what?
He's coming back for the Obi-Wan Kenobi series.
I think he's playing Darth Vader.
Interesting.
I did not know that, and I'm surprised by it.
That won't make a difference.
Will he be in the suit yet?
He will be in the suit. Oh suit oh well then it doesn't matter but i think the mask is
going to come off occasionally when he's like in his vita chamber or whatever the fuck he'll be in
the suit but they're still getting james earl jones to do the voice so it's cool yeah yeah
he'll have the voice when the mask is off i think you'll have hayden christensen's voice and when
it's on you'll have james earl i'm serious are you serious yeah because
that's how it works because the voice isn't that's not his voice you know it's it's a uh it's an
amplifier for it's part of the suit oh really i thought it was just kind of echoed because of the
mask i'd sound different too if i was wearing a mask i thought it just did that somehow no it's it's a speaker of some sort that yeah essentially
yeah yeah it's like if bane sounded normal when he came took his mask off it would be distracting
but i guess you're right it makes more sense kyle have you considered the new toyota supra
for your next car faster than a camaro similar price range only comes in auto can't go wrong
with toyota uh it's way too small and it's underpowered and he doesn't want to price
it says faster than a camaro and same price range are you sure i'm not sure i just go invited i'm
not sure either but but maybe there's a newer model
of it. I remember the initial
showing of it.
That was my take from it.
It wasn't all that fast.
It was overpriced, and it was too small.
I'm wondering
which Camaro. The SS?
The V8 or the V6?
Yeah, right. Is he comparing
the two top ends?
I'm guessing the Supra's a four two top ends or because i'm guessing the super is a four cylinder i'm guessing i mean if i'm going for a sporty car and it's the same let's just assume
same price same specs and everything like i would absolutely take the camaro like i don't know what
a toyota super looks like looks pretty nice looks as cool as it looks pretty nice it's just too
small though um i've got some stats 382 horsepower
three liter six cylinder on the super okay looks kind of cool but it is a teeny tiny little car
um i saw a jaguar f-type in person two days ago maybe three and that was pretty sick
uh it sounds real nice.
Had a lot of crackle and pop to the exhaust.
It sounded real nice.
Looked real nice.
His was red, which I didn't care for.
I would want black.
But no, car's going to be a Corvette or a Jag, almost certainly.
It's going to be one of those.
Probably, yeah, the Jaguar F-Type. You've trained for for a bit and now you're back on i've gone
back and forth it really depends on um a few things but i for that price range 40 to 50 000
i think the two best cars uh most bang for my buck uh are the f-type they make a v8 f-type um which is still within that price
range depending on the mileage um and uh and the corvette like a 20 2017 to a 2018 corvette or f
type is kind of what i'm considering f-type a coupe or a sedan it's coupe two-door yeah and
am i crazy is it all-wheel drive i want to say that was one there
is an all-wheel drive version which is kind of why i was considering it the most i was looking
at all-wheel drive cars for for denver or for colorado in general because of the snow i was
like ah man i don't know i don't i don't want a two-wheel drive car you know if there's snow i
can't go out uh and i was looking at all of the all-wheel drive sports cars.
I don't want a fucking Subaru before anybody says it.
And so the Jag F-Type was the thing that combined all-wheel drive
with styling, with performance, and was in that relative price range
and wasn't like something shitty.
Which is more tangible on the inside probably the jag
right i would imagine the jag it looks much fancier it looks much uh like the materials are
look better you know like higher quality materials shit right like it's pretty fast there's like
three different versions there's a anywhere from off the top of my head like it's like
three to 450
horsepower or something like that depending on which one you get roughly i'm probably off a
little bit but then the corvette is just a fucking rocket ship on rails for for like the same price
like corvettes are ridiculously underpriced for what they are if type seems fast to me kyle's
point of reference is a camaro so it's's a little different than us. It's fast.
I mean, it's probably faster than my Camaro.
My Camaro is like 425 horsepower.
Like, it goes as fast as I want to go.
I'm not looking to go fast.
That's the thing.
The answer is there for you, then.
You're not looking to go fast.
Take the one that's probably just as fast as what you have now,
and I imagine the interior of the Jag is going to be a lot more posh,
a lot fancier probably.
It looked a little small and it doesn't look as nice as a Corvette to me.
I'm probably still leaning toward the Corvette.
If I'm,
if I'm not as worried about the all wheel drive thing,
like,
like I could get the Corvette and then get like a Toyota Tacoma four by four
for like $8,000 or something like that.
And like,
if I need to go out in the snow to get groceries or like just run to the
store,
like hop in the Tacoma,
you know,
something,
something like that,
that you buy one with 140,000 miles and you're like,
yeah.
And it'll go another 95,000 miles if I need it to with like an alternator and
a water pump or something.
If you're a homeowner,
it's nice to have a pickup truck. just seems like every so often you there's something of size that you need to carry
home from home depot or whatever yeah for sure yeah and i still have my silverado but but i am
so tired of putting transmissions in it that like i hope it just explodes uh i've put like
i don't know how many transmitissions three I think it's a lemon
I'm hands off
I'm hands off that car
I'm not going to fuck with it anymore
I'm tired of putting new transmissions in it
and hiring mechanics to work on it
I don't know what to do with it
if I were still blowing shit up
it'd be on the chopping block
that like Cars for Kids program write it off your taxes If I were still blowing shit up, it'd be on the chopping block.
Can you donate it to that Cars for Kids program?
Write it off your taxes?
That's not a bad idea. Wait, Cars for Kids is a thing?
1-877-CARS-FOR-KIDS
Donate your car today.
I never see commercials, but that just sounds ridiculous.
It's like cigarettes for kids or alcohol for kids
or other things kids don't use.
You don't give the kids a car,
donate the car and the proceeds go to the kids.
That makes it.
Yeah.
There's a step in the middle there.
They leave out on cars for kids.
They make it sound like they're going to put children behind the wheel.
This is a charity in which seven year olds fulfill their fantasy of learning
to drive pickup trucks.
It's a mistake. I'm not, I'm i'm not yeah that would be a wildly unsuccessful charity
was to drive a toyota tacoma off a bridge
but yeah no every time somebody has a suggestion for a car, it's like, no, no.
First of all, I'm aware of all the cars.
You don't have secret knowledge, people.
Have you heard of the Ford Mustang?
It's like, yeah, I've considered it.
I'm not interested.
Can I ask why you don't like...
So I like the subarus it's quite
possible i'm a lesbian i'm open to that idea but when i see him that i just find him appealing
what do you think about the subarus if uh if i were living in a mad max world
where i didn't want to like get some pussy occasionally i might get a wrx sti right badass car handles incredibly well there must be some
18 year old who makes bad decisions who likes that car you could do fucking 70 miles per hour
around a sharp corner in that car and as long as you're harnessed in the car's gonna do it you just
gotta make sure you don't fall into the other seat like it'll do it it's it's a great fucking car it's reliable no it's fucking ugly i don't want that ugly piece
of shit it's ugly i don't want it it's gonna hurt your pussy game you think
maybe i wouldn't get in and if i was a girl i was like oh yes
you think the average woman walking up to your car has any idea or even looked
at the logo yeah really yeah okay you should start picking up girls at that mechanic union
i don't know like look it's not like i drive a ferrari or anything but it's it's it's not
rare for me to be like at a drive drive through or something like that and be like,
oh, I like your car.
And like that to be a conversation starter.
I'd like a nice car
that I think that girls
would like. That's not
my only concern. I have
eight concerns when it comes to a car, but
that is on the list.
I personally think the
Subaru is an ugly car. If, if I were just
getting something for utilitarian purposes, I'd be driving a, what, you know, a $2,000
Honda Civic, right? Oh yeah. It gets 45 miles per gallon and it gets me back and forth.
It's not what we're doing here. I want, I want performance. I want comfortability. I want
reliability. I want desirability
there's a whole bunch of things that go along with this purchase
and for those reasons it's Corvette or Jaguar
and the Jaguar is second place right now
the Corvette is just sick
yeah
there have been a number of times in my
recent life where people are like
man isn't this ugly
and I'm like I think ugly
might be my style actually I think it's cool here's another I think you asked
one I like the commander the Mustang I don't hate it or anything I just find
the Camaro styling to be superior I just think it looks better it's got a really
nice interior though I think the of the Mustang might be better,
but I like the exterior styling of the Camaro over the Mustang.
And that's what, if you're comparing apples to apples,
that is the comparison.
It's Mustang to Camaro.
There was a period of time where the Mustang hardly looked like a sports car to me.
I think they call it the bubble body.
The Fox body was even worse.
I don't know if everyone knows what that looks like. But I'm like this i can't even tell this is a sports car it looks like mom's
car to me this is supposed to compete with camaros and corvettes and shit like it's it's lame but
current mustangs i think are pretty cool looking i think they are too i i think they're one of the
best looking cars on the road um i rented one a couple years ago, drove it from Albuquerque to Denver, and had a ball in it.
I actually got the EcoBoost model.
I rented it.
Is that the top one?
No, no.
I don't know if it's the bottom one.
I think it's the supercharged four cylinder,
maybe like,
like,
like it's a,
but,
but it was surprisingly powerful for what it,
for what it was.
It had like six or seven different drive modes,
you know,
like drag race mode and quarter mile rope mode and fucking track.
And I don't know,
I went through all of those.
And I,
I remember like,
like little things
stick out to me in cars like the the steering wheel was very squishy it was you know it was
leather but it was like oh yeah i can feel some squish when i really grip the steering wheel and
i like that because my steering wheel is hard my truck i'm sorry to interrupt but uh there are a
lot of things about the f-150s uh interior that okay, but if you touch it, it's like, oh,
this is plastic that's supposed to be metal. This is plastic
that's supposed to be leather.
Even though it's a high trim level, it's just not
as high as you can dream up. Yeah,'t know i don't know mercedes um like
models very well but there's an a there's an amg that's um or something like that that's like
affordable you know a couple years old it was like also in that 40 to 50 000 price range
um maybe it was an i'm gonna get it wrong amg 43 or something like that it doesn't
matter anyway it's a like a mid-sized sporty uh mercedes and it's like oh my god this blows all
the other cars out of the water with like the materials and the comfort level like when you
when you talked about something that is made to look aluminum,
it's aluminum in the Mercedes.
If something is...
That's wood!
That came out of a tree!
It's like, this is aluminum.
This is not just leather,
but really
nice leather. The stitching,
you're like, oh shit!
Did some old German lady fucking do that by hand god damn that looks good like like everything in the in the mercedes looks sick um uh i i can't
tell you the details but you just know it's expensive to maintain though right like for
somehow the oil is going to cost 420 to change or something like that's
what happened did you get a poor more expensive than than domestic you know like like i don't
know that it'd be like i'm sure the jaguar is expensive as well um my only experience i had
an xj12 when i was younger and that's why i got rid of it it was like it was time to change the
spark plugs and it was like oh yeah well first of, there's 12 of them because you've got a 12 cylinder Jaguar, but also like
everything else I'd ever worked on. It was like, yeah, pop the hood. Yeah. See that that's the
spark plug. Yeah. Pop. Yeah. Pop the wire off. All right. You get your wrench. Yeah. All right.
Now take it out. Now put your new one in this. It like all right jack the car up you got on the lift
great now drop the transmission you had to drop the transmission to change the spark plugs
and they were expensive and there were 12 of them and i remember being like could we just
change the ones that are bad it's's like, no. Change them all.
You don't just change one spark plug.
No, you change them all.
It's like, fuck.
Can we just get rid of this thing?
I changed my mind.
Cars can be too hard.
I changed the timing belt with PKA Dan.
You probably remember him. Yeah. And it was his wife's minivan and i'm like what the motor's in here sideways
all right so we're gonna work on the timing belt by removing the passenger side tire what kind of
van was it was it a dodge i don't recall actually yeah i'm i've seen that before. I've blown up a minivan that had that and looked at it and was like,
that's fucking weird, huh?
It's in there sideways.
I know what you're talking about.
Yeah.
Yeah, it was troublesome.
And what was fun is Dan had gone through this phase
where he was changing timing belts all the time.
It was like if you told him you needed a
timing belt fixed he was all excited he was like fuck yeah we're gonna like i'm so glad you have
a timing belt to fix it's my new passion changing timing belts all right cool and he had these um
to get the main crank bolt it's a big deal like he had a six foot breaker bar and he's leaning on it six foot and the car is tilting.
I wasn't there for this one, but like the whole car is going and they've got so much leverage.
And there's like two grown, strongish men pushing on this thing and the bar is going and it's this like unmovable force versus this unstoppable object.
I might have swapped those.
And anyway, and, you know, so it was this thing.
And then we went to do it, and I brought my brand new impact wrench, right?
And this is a pneumatic.
Like, I bought it because it was good.
I was working on it.
What is an impact wrench?
So it's air-powered, and it looks like a drill, sort of.
And when it hits any trouble it goes
it just sort of like bangs and and then yeah instead of continuous torque it does this
stop and load again kind of thing where it's like bang bang bang bang and it does it fast so it'd
be like it's all right so you ever watch nascar or something like that when they do the pit changes
and they're oh that's what those that's that's an impact wrench yeah and and that's just so you ever watch NASCAR or something like that when they do the pit changes and they're... Oh, that's what those are.
That's an impact wrench, yeah.
And that's just so you can do it really, really fast?
Mine is good.
That's why they use it.
Yeah.
But it's also great for what Woody's talking about,
like breaking stubborn bolts.
Dude, wonderful at that.
We're like, all right, we're going to see what this wrench can do.
We're going to see, like, you know, it's going to be a toughie.
The wrench didn't even blink.
It just goes, it was like a NASCAR tire.
And I was like, it was, it almost took the fun out of it.
Like, it was, dude, I was overpowered.
My dad's got a badass electric one.
It's like, whenever one of those projects comes out it's like oh hang on a sec
we're to the case it's like snap snap it's like the soul at the beginning of pulp fiction yeah
it's so fucking powerful like we've always had the pneumatic ones but like i i don't i don't remember
what got him into the electric one but like someone says oh you want the electric one that
thing's just ridiculous and you know it's you don't gotta worry about air compressor you can
do it anywhere and it's like yeah it turned out it was just ridiculous because he's that's a use
case he has uh often like breaking stubborn bolts off of various things and it's it's
outrageous yeah you can hurt your hand with those like lately they can yeah
yourself that's funny my I have a pretty good set of pneumatic tool I know you've been struggling with your wrist.
Kyle was just getting healed.
When lifting, I get this weird pain here.
Like in whatever tendon this is called, where it just gets tight for no reason.
Did you ever get that, Woody?
No, not there. My bice biceps been troubling me yeah you know that's all i have this time you point to that too kyle that little like it's it's right it's right um there right here oh it sounds
like the same place yeah maybe oh kyle's is more in the back yeah it's it's more in the back and
it's like it's it's the one it's going backwards and forwards more so than left and right.
It's from being pushed too far back this way.
It's wildly painful.
Do you think you heard it doing, what is it called when you build a shelf for front barbell deadlifts?
Squats.
I don't know how I heard this.
Okay.
It's just ridiculous though.
You gotta be doing those,
like bend your,
your hand back stretches and pull it down.
When I had tendonitis a few years ago,
that really helped me out.
And when you go like this at first,
you're only going to be able to get up to like here,
like,
and it's going to suck.
I've been doing that.
Like you said,
like,
like I thought maybe that would help. Like when I do things like get out of the tub or like move out of the bed like like
you know things where you put your palms down and sort of scrunch your way out like in the tub you
put your hands on the side and like push yourself up or whatever i use my forearms i put my forearms
on things and push down with those now. Like all the grace of a seal.
I scooch around like a dog,
like scratching its asshole.
Like,
like,
cause like if I try to like use like this part of my hand and put pressure
there,
like I could,
I could press like with this part and no pain,
but if it's up here to the point where it rotates the hand back,
I'm in a lot of pain i
think it would cost a hundred bucks to go see a physical therapist and he would properly diagnose
it so like what taylor said might be right but i'm always cautious because half the time it's like oh
yeah does that hurt you need to stretch it and work it and i'll give you some exercise and the
other half they say oh does that hurt you need to rest it and ice it and elevate it and like the opposite of yeah i've been resting it
and uh and trying to like not aggravate it at all like i said being real being mindful of not
using it the way i've described like things like getting out of the tub or like just scrunching
around out of bed you know like palm down like that'd be anything anything where you're like putting pressure like
on the front of your hand and it pushes the hand backwards like don't do that yeah i can push with
the the heel of my hand you can push pretty hard yeah yeah that's fine because that's that's that's
that's here but up here where it makes the hand go backwards and it like whatever this tendon is in here when it's making it do stuff.
And forward hurts too.
If I go too far forward, like this is painful right here.
You should see a doctor.
Those are really important movements for the wrist.
Well, I mean, it hurts in both wrists, so it can't be anything too bad.
They're identically painful.
Go to the fucking doctor.
It's not like I have some sort of aberration in one hand.
It's like a tumor, for example.
They call it putting pressure on a nerve.
What you'd be buying is knowledge on what's wrong and how to fix it.
I'll give her another three, six months if it's still hurting.
I might do something like that.
I, too, make bad decisions.
I'm going to go to the doctor.
I've got a little mole on the back of my upper back.
Are you going to go to the dermatologist?
Can you give me a hand?
That's how I am when I go to the doctor.
I'm going to put that mole right back to you.
It's like, sir, why'd you bite on the doorknob to get in here?
What the fuck is my fucking room?
When I go to the doctor, I wait so long to go to the doctor that I'm like, yeah, so what are you here for?
Well, I'd like something for this acne.
I've got a blinding pain in my wrist, some kind of weird bump on my cock.
Also, like, I think I got an ingrown
toenail. You want to take a look at that?
Let's refill that Adderall prescription
while we're here. He's like,
well, let's start with your
cock.
Get the worst out of the way.
Get everything out of the way.
That appears to be a Skittle, Mr. Myers.
How did that get there?
Yeah.
Taylor? I think you should probably stretch out your wrists not to the point that it hurts i just say because it works for me you don't go back and
you don't do that stretch where it's like yeah the hurt means it's working it's just like the
second you start to feel that pressure you stop and you hold it there and then you go down to the
and it worked for me with my tendonitis my joints are all weird like they all do that uh like like go too far kind of thing my knees will
go too far too which is that kind of sucks that's a little they go backwards my knees will go
backwards like i can bit i can if i point my toe and keep going my knee will keep going it won't
make an effort not to go past straight typically yeah
that's the thing that you need to focus on oh if i ever accidentally it's i mean i could i could snap
my knee in half yeah you can't be strong backwards no that's no no there's there's no you're not built
to do that you're not like those aliens in that charlie sheen movie that have the backwards legs
that walk like cockroaches you kind of look like an emu yeah like all my joints do that like they get they go fucking
too far like my fingers do it my wrists do it clearly my knees do it um yeah it's it's a whole
thing do it in an upsetting way my toes do it in a way that really upsets Taylor
that was my least favorite thing about meeting you.
It was you going,
Taylor, I told you I could walk around on this concrete
floor with my toes and you just start going,
ah, ah.
This guy was pretty cool up until
right now.
I love doing it because
people are always like, ah, fuck.
Because you say, stop, Stop! Don't do that!
You're going to hurt yourself.
Did you want to do ads, Taylor?
I think you're... Yes.
We will do those real quick.
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Yeah, the way Blue Chew works is it's...
I was like, why is he talking over me?
It's like a link to a doctor's office.
And they'll make sure you're appropriate fit and prescribe you if they can.
Yep. I have some patreon questions if you want to send us a question just uh it's the ten dollar patron level you also
get pkn early link down below so this gentleman says has kyle considered oregon as a destination
instead of colorado all the drugs are decriminalized not just weed lots of inexpensive places to live
no sales tax great bow hunting uh when the time
comes that he can do that again or washington state it's got no income tax uh it's just so far
man that's just literally the opposite corner of the country yeah like that flight is like six and
a half fucking hours into seattle um that's like the longest flight i think i've ever been on and i
four hour flights like flying into vegas for example i think is a roughly four and a half
hours could be a little off on that but i'm like all right this isn't so bad even la i think la is
just a little bit more than vegas you know but flying to seattle i was like i mean i was in
first class and i was still just like man i am
ready to fucking get off this airplane i'm getting fidgety here i'm good i don't need to piss but
i'm gonna go to the bathroom just to stretch my legs like can we get some more booze over here
like i'm i'm fucking i'm ready to get off this motherfucker i watched both of the in-flight
movies that i gave a shit about and there's still two and a half hours to go on this flight,
I want off this airplane.
I wouldn't want to
deal with that every time I wanted to come back
and maybe visit somebody or do a thing.
Also, that would be
moving my stuff to Colorado is already
a little bit expensive.
Just getting the move done.
Now we're adding
another 40-50% to that at least, you know,
as far as moving costs. And I don't love those States. I've spent a good bit of time in both
States. Like I've been to each of them three times maybe, and spent, I don't know, the better part of
a month there, you know, total Oregon reminds me so much of georgia with it's just green everywhere and kind of a lot
of city and then we drove by portland and it's like the fucking scummiest city i've ever seen
it reminded me of like like the whole city reminded me of skid row in la it just what was
how was it scummy i don't know heroin and hobos that's that thatos. That's what should be on their fucking flag. It's just a fucking hobo shooting up.
It was mind-blowing how many homeless people.
So I haven't been to Philly or New York for a long time,
but it wasn't so much that there's lots of homeless being scummy.
That's an LA thing in my head.
But something about it's dirty.
I think it's the climate.
I think the humidity or the rain, it just doesn't wash clean.
It's grimy.
It's grimy.
It's super grimy.
All the buildings are coated in grime.
It feels like there's diesel soot on everything that is outside.
You touch a tree leaf and your hand is dirty afterwards.
Whereas like Dallas, and I think it's the climate,
maybe just being dry doesn't collect the same kind of dirt on every surface. It looks shiny and like literally shiny, like
glimmery by comparison. I was from Philly. And as far as like all the drugs being legalized,
like I don't like to do a lot of drugs or anything like that i really just like smoking weed we were talking about this today yeah uh we were talking about this today and uh and um uh the the the the the patron discord
and i was i was i was saying that like the only other drug that i've ever done that i actually
liked was when i was prescribed that codeine syrup like if all drugs were legal and i could
just go to the store and buy a bottle of codeine syrup,
just kind of sip on every now and then, like if you could just take a little bit of that,
put it in like some nice cognac,
like drinking cognac with cough syrup,
cognac with fucking codeine in it.
Right.
Like,
like,
like,
like,
like,
like,
like,
like,
like,
like,
like,
like,
like,
like,
like,
like,
like,
like,
like,
like,
like,
like,
like,
like,
like,
like,
like,
like,
like,
like,
like,
like,
like,
like,
like,
like,
like,
like,
like,
like,
like,
like,
like,
like,
like,
like,
like,
like,
like,
like,
like,
like,
like,
like,
like,
like,
like,
like,
like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, One of those would put you in a real good place. Maybe a hospital.
No.
Look, I'm not suggesting anybody does anything,
but I'm just saying, like, if I hypothetically drank a glass of very fine cognac,
like some Grand Marnier maybe or something like that with a little bit of peach-flavored codeine syrup,
it would be one hell of a time for one little nice drink
that you'd sip, you know, over the course of an hour or so, 30 minutes or something.
That was good shit. Um, but other than that, like, like I have no interest in like doing Coke or
meth or like, like I've got a, I've got an Adderall prescription, you know, like drugs
or just pot really. Yeah. Yeah. Just pot, you know, like drugs or just pot really.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Just pot, you know, like, like I, and mushrooms I had terrible experience on.
I'm, I don't think I want to do that ever again.
Um, I, I don't like getting on a ride that doesn't have, uh, an, an off position or,
you know, there's no off switch to, to, to that.
or you know there's no off switch to to to that where i'm for the non-drug people how does weed have an off switch in a way that this others don't for me personally like smoking weed never keeps me
high for longer than 20 minutes like and and i mean like my definition of high is probably
different than like someone who doesn't smoke a lot.
Like I should be I should have time dilation.
Like time shouldn't pass for me in the same way that it does for you.
If I'm high, I'm not talking about like, oh, yeah, I've got a little buzz.
Giggle, giggle.
I want some pretzels.
I'm hungry.
My mouth's dry.
Like, no, pussy.
I'm talking about
getting high like we're talking about getting fucking stoned big talk for a guy that hasn't
touched pot in years and anyone else thinking the way i kyle and i have the same tolerance right now
and he's acting like some sort of no you do not kyle will jump right back to like even when we
were at the colorado trip like i i was more of uh you know take a couple hits and be like, as Kyle would say, bitch mode buzz.
I'm like, man, I'm feeling pretty.
I'm kind of toasty.
I'm kind of high.
And I'm ready to keep playing magic.
And Kyle's like, round four.
Just like, okay.
All right.
And what you're going to want to do here, Kyle, is, okay, I'll finish it once you're done with the hit.
So you want to tap.
Okay, I'll take another one, I guess.
For the end of it, it's like, I can't.
He did this so he could beat my ass.
I can't even remember whose turn it is is i was just being polite i gotta say no
i won't i don't mind smoking at all but like yeah i felt like a bitch you and chis were ripping
right through it and i was like are they are they feeling the same way i am no no we're not
no we're not they're fine like chis came to time. Like, like, so he came in on the bus. I think this was for the survival trip.
And,
uh,
and so like Chiz arrives at my house like a day before,
maybe 36 hours before,
and then Woody's going to drive down in a day or two.
And,
uh,
and so I go pick Chiz up at the bus stop in Atlanta and driving back to my
place.
So on the way back,
I'm like,
I got some good weed when we get, get back to my place, man. the way back, I'm like, I got some good weed when we get,
get back to my place,
man.
I know you,
I know you're in Cali.
I know you've got whatever you want,
but I got some good weed.
You know,
you're going to see,
you're going to see.
And I did,
I had some really good weed.
I don't remember where it came from.
Maybe from Cali,
but,
uh,
but like we get back to my place and he hadn't eaten for like eight hours and the plan
was we'll get high and then we'll eat and i think i had wouldn't got gotten like taco bell or
something because that's one of my favorite things to eat when i'm just real fucked up
and we're we're out of my front porch and it's it's me and him and somebody else and we're all
chatting and uh i had a little
water pipe or something like that and i'm just bubble bubble bubble bubble bubble bubble i you
know i clear a whole bowl at once i'm not sharing the bowl like it's not that i'm bogarting it like
i'm gonna clean it everybody pack it and hand it to you these are we each get a bowl we're not
gonna share a bowl like like like you i'm the whole bowl, and you get your own bowl.
So I smoke mine down, clear it, pack it, send it to him.
He does the same thing, sends it back to me, clear it, pack it, do it again,
hand it back to him.
I look at him.
He's looking a little woozy.
He hasn't eaten.
He's like low blood sugar or something over there.
He hits it anyway, hands it back to me do it again i do my third i go to hand it back to him he's
like no no i'm good i'm good all right man so i just keep going you know i'm one after another
and uh after a while i realized chis hasn't said anything in a while
i look at him and he's got that sweat on his upper lip and he's pale as a ghost
and he's just looking through me i'm like dude are you all right you don't look so hot
he's like that's some real good that's some real strong weed well yeah man i told you some real strong weed you okay eat that burrito he's like i think i just
want to go lay down man start up fresh tomorrow yeah he did he did he's like i'm gonna call the
night i'm done i mean you get that you get to that point with weed where it's just like, I got to go to bed.
Like, I can't be up anymore.
I need to go to sleep.
If you're high.
I mean, that's why I went to concentrate is because, like, I got to the point where, like, I got to smoke so much flour to, like, get time dilated high.
It's like we need concentrate now to, like, efficiently and, like, cost like cost effectively like get high anymore and with
dabs it's like i would have my water i would be in bed with my water bong uh like a little water
pipe like i had this fancy hand-blown deal that was like not like crazy expensive i'm sure people
are listening to have like a thousand dollar fucking pipes or something but this was this
fancy hand-blown thing i'd bought it went in atlanta it was maybe three hundred
dollars or something and it looked cool and uh it when you when you do dabs the bowl is called a
nail um and i think yeah yeah and uh they're either made out of titanium or quartz because you get them super hot.
You take a blowtorch and you heat it up to, I don't fucking know, 500, 600 degrees, something crazy hot.
And then you put your concentrate in there, do this little spinny dippity do thing.
And it vaporizes in there and you inhale it.
It's doing the same thing. This vape i'm fucking hitting nicotine out of does but it's fucking thc concentrated to 87 percent uh potency it's crazy fucking strong
and so like i i would hit that thing twice in a row like do two dabs back to back
and be so high that i wouldn't put the pipe down.
Like sometimes I would just come back to and realize I'd been holding this pipe for like 30 minutes.
I'm like,
Holy shit.
That was,
well,
it's time to go again.
I guess I'm awake.
I'm conscious.
And like every now and then though,
like I get so high that like my grip would like slowly
be loosening and so like the pipe because the nail is sticking out on one end it's heavy on that end
and that's where it will pivot so that would swing and so my grip loosens and the nail swings around
and hits the back of my wrist like right here and and it goes i'm sure there's a pka where if you look closely like if i do
something like this you'll see like a fucking like on the back of my fucking hand because i've
i burnt the fucking shit out of myself because i got so goddamn high that like i let the thing
slip out of my hand and burn the back of my uh my wrist the concentrate stuff is no joke i remember
the first time i tried that in college i only smoked like flour up until that point and someone
was like hey try uh something on this dab rig and like my first thought it was at a buddy's like
college apartment where he stayed with a couple of other like really party loving guys and like
there's something more intimidating about like oh trust me it's just weed and it's like no there's something more intimidating about like, oh, trust me, it's just weed.
And it's like, no, it's not.
That's in a scary little container that's super concentrated.
And you have a torch right there.
That's sketchy.
Seeing the torch is like, this feels like it is.
And like, they started heating it up.
And I kept like saying like over and over, like, you know, give me a very small amount.
Like you guys keep talking about like, oh, this is the most powerful thing on earth.
And like, I took what I thought was like, if it would have been a hit of flour it would have
been a teensy tiny little hit of flour yeah i took it and it was maybe like two minutes later
like on the way up like a minute in i'm like i'm fine i'm not gonna get out of control but then the
escalator didn't stop and i was like oh this is my plan for the night like i do not are you ready hey you want
to go out to the bar no no if you guys are going to the bar i'm gonna go home it's the
tv at your place it's the best it's it's not a good thing to do and then go out and like socialize
like high on or that high at least at the time i was that level of high where it's like everyone
knows everyone knows ah to each their own because like i got to the point where like nobody knows
nobody knows as long as i can't be sunglasses on because if you can see my eyes you're like ah
well i've got sunglasses on you're not gonna know you're not gonna know nobody's gonna know
because i'm i'm gonna be chill with it i're not going to know. You're not going to know. Nobody's going to know because I'm going to be chill with it.
I'm not going to be fucking weird.
I'm not going to be self-conscious about it.
I'm just going to be blazed out of my goddamn mind.
And nobody will be, you know, have any fucking idea.
I knew a guy in college who like his parents were very anti weed and they caught him with
the red, you know, devil's dick eyes a couple of times.
And he like I was just talking to him one time you know just at school we may have even been in the library
just chatting and like you like popped a pill and i was like oh damn dude like you're staying here
all night it's like 11 15 like i'm about to cash out and he's like no dude that was a vicodin
and i was like oh okay i thought i didn't know you were into that stuff he's like no dude that was a vicodin and i was like oh okay i thought i didn't
know you were into that stuff he's like yeah dude like my mom kept like seeing my eyes all red and
so i decided like you know i'll just you know my eyes don't get red if i take these and i was like
this is i did at the time i was like okay you know enjoy that i guess but uh lesson lesson he had an enormous amount of problems later in
life due to those pills like getting yeah no pills they were and they were like i don't know
the terminology of the pills that's not something i'm into but like uh they were whatever like the
creme de la creme of the pills is like a high milligram of oxy yeah opiates yeah but i know there's like different like what's it called
what's the um percocet uh oh i don't know the tier list but based on name those ones aren't
as like oxycontin is like the the grand poobah the king of those apparently and that's what he
was getting like yeah it's not something i've ever been into like i said like like i whenever
i'm prescribed it i ain't saving them i'm i'm taking them i'm like i've ever been into like i said like like whenever i'm prescribed it i ain't saving
them i'm i'm taking them i'm like i've got permission to take these you better believe
i'm gonna chew up these tylenol threes and have a good old time codeine i think is the only thing
i've had though because tylenol three is codeine and tylenol and uh and obviously the codeine syrup
and they are wonderful and i could see how they could be addictive for sure.
But I knew to avoid that because I do, of course, have an addictive personality,
whether it's Total War, Warhammer, fucking Harry Potter movies,
or goddamn opiates.
So I always stayed away from that because I knew so many.
You could smoke weed every fucking day, and you might get a cough.
You do fucking opiates every day,
and you're going to have a myriad of health problems and you're going to end up in rehab.
There's a difference.
Of course, you smoke pot every day, you might end up in federal prison.
It's true, but you weren't going through shaky, sweaty, fever-y balls
when you were thrown into prison.
They're like, oh, this fucking pill popper heroin addict.
No, no, not at all um like the only withdrawal worse than like those pills is alcohol i think so too yeah because people can die of that yeah you have a seizure and like even if it doesn't
kill you that way like you have a seizure you like fall bash your head open or something
yeah people die of alcohol withdrawal um that's um i think that's one of the things that sometimes they'll put people in a coma
in to so that they just skip over that whole withdrawal thing i've never even heard about
that that must be jordan peterson did really and he was on he was on benzo so i think maybe that's
what it's not opiates maybe it's benzos and alcohol are the two that like can kill you if you're withdrawing hard enough not something i know
a lot about i just i'm pretty sure that uh jordan peterson went to russia and they they did that
thing where they put you in a induced coma so that you skip over the withdrawal part of uh
kicking whatever it was he was on psychologically i wonder how that adds or
detracts from like relapse you know like i would imagine that somebody who's addicted to benzos
and has to like white knuckle it through a big portion of it might be more likely in the future
to be like you know what dude i really want one of these fucking benzo pills i want it so bad oh
but i'm remembering how i felt in that hospital bed god that was a whole week of like feeling like i was gonna die no whereas if it was like the artificial coma
through it is hard i guess you had to go to russia and pay to be put into a coma that's
yeah right you're like well i had to spend a week in a coma the last time i was taking these maybe
i mean i got a lot of rest but uh yeah i don't know about all that
i don't remember the first time i had concentrate i don't remember where i got it or uh or or or
what um the main guy that i used to get stuff with i remember he would have it in these big
like golf ball size balls of it that's a tenet. He would have like a golf ball size ball of it. How
much you want? I'm like, how much fucking is it? And he'd tell me or whatever the price,
I don't know what it was like 30, 40 a gram or whatever. Like, ah, cut me off 10 grams.
Yeah. Let's, let's just do that. 400 bucks. Yeah. And he just, he just like take a knife
and like, Oh, like, like like take a knife and like, like,
like it was so thick and like,
it's hard to like cut off that much and good stuff.
Good stuff.
You got your nice and fucking high.
So I can't wait for your probation to be over.
Oh,
it's going to be a living again.
It's going to be a celebration.
We're having a good old time.
I was talking to the
boys i think imagine kyle that first day of freedom opening your door in colorado and be like
and then just turning around and going back inside
yeah i'm in a whatsapp option to leave if i wanted i'm in a whatsapp chat with a few of the
$50 patrons and they're and they're like hey you wanna maybe we'll go to Topgolf
and somebody's like yeah
we could do like an ATV tour
and
Dirty was like
I thought we were gonna get fucking high and chill
and I'm like yeah
that's what I'm going to do
y'all can do anything you fucking want
but I'm gonna watch movies
and I'm gonna to smoke weed.
Well,
we're doing the go-kart thing again.
Sure.
That was fun.
Taylor.
I mean,
it's not that I wouldn't smoke,
but the activities sound like great fun to me.
Go-karting skiing.
I'll definitely go-kart.
What was the other,
what was the thing you just mentioned?
We should do what?
Top golf, putt,putt, ATV.
That's fucking lame.
I don't know what idiot suggested golf.
Top golf is fun.
It's cool.
What is top golf?
It's basically like everybody knows the funnest part about golf
isn't the golf thing.
It's going to a driving range and hitting it as hard as you can
with horrible form and seeing how far you can get it to go.
Everybody knows this.
That's all that it is.
You're just standing on an elevated area, smashing balls as hard as you want, seeing how far you can get it to go.
And I think they have little scoring systems.
I have a friend who works there.
And behind you is a really cool bar area, really cool games, restaurant stuff.
So they've got an arcade in there, I think.
A bunch of stuff to do.
Maybe it's fun.
I want to go horseback
riding in the Rocky Mountains.
That sounds like fun to me. I'll do that.
I rode horses as a kid. Went to horse
camp. I can ride.
I'll ride a horse.
I used to go to dude ranches as a child.
I very much liked it.
I wasn't good or anything.
I could gallop,
but they'd help me on the horse.
That's my level of expertise.
And I really liked urban cowboy.
If we do an escape,
that was fun.
If we do an escape,
no,
no escape room.
If you get a good one,
I'd go with you,
Taylor.
I'll do an escape room with you,
dude.
They're awful.
They're awful.
I've done what he's like.
I still get emails from that place.
Are you serious?
Yes.
Four years ago.
Wait, wait. Now, when you say they're awful, are you saying you hate escape rooms or that escape room was awful?
That escape room was awful. I've been to one.
It was very stupid.
I've been to multiple, and it's never been something I've – it's been my idea, but I've been brought to multiple escape rooms.
One of them downtown here was actually really neat.
Like they like built it out.
Like it was like a room and like an ancient Greek kind of thing.
And you had to move this mosaic around and then a wall opened and you go
into something they made look like a cave.
It's like,
it was,
it was pretty neat.
The one that we did was so fucking stupid.
We were,
we overthought everything.
We were like, it can't be as easy as
counting it's got to have correlated numbers to the letter and so we're like trying to
use a cipher and then like at one point the lady comes in and is like it's just just turn the knob
just come over here and like and we just left we left everybody hated it she was like she was like
we ran out of time.
You know, you have a time limit.
And she was like, do you want me to show you how, you know, you finish?
And I was literally like, no, I don't fucking care.
Like, can we just leave?
Can we leave?
Can we go get high?
You sound a little bit rude.
Like, why would I care?
Why would I care?
He didn't say it like that.
He said, no, thank you. Okay. Yeah. I didn't like he said no thank you yeah okay yeah i didn't say
you've been working on this puzzle for two hours would you like to see the solution no it's like
no i i mean i'm the paying customer right it's like you know how it ends like you're not are
you getting pleasure from showing me like i didn't care enough to try to figure it out do you think i
care enough to sit here and watch you explain it to me we all saw the third grade field trip complete it successfully and
you're just rubbing it into us yeah i just did not fucking care um so yeah at this point um i
think i talked to chocolate thunder i talked to dirty nice uh fish and ari and uh i think i i uh and Ari. And I think I, I, I know those guys pretty well.
Yeah.
I told them, I told them they're welcome to come.
And so like me and those guys and Chiz for sure.
And you two,
if you want,
we're going to get a pretty big house for a week.
Then after that week,
I'm bringing the OG discord boys,
like scum and MIDIdy and DJ and ZT if they want to come and that group of people.
And we're going to do a week at the big house.
So it's just a big version of the Patreon hangout.
You're just six people after a week.
Yeah, you get a lot of value when you're a $50 patron.
I'm going to do everything I can to get to that first week Yeah, you get a lot of value when you're a $50 patron. You can buy good stuff.
Everything I can to get to that first week.
That sounds like a lot of fun.
So you guys could come during the week where it's like those guys,
or you could come during the week where it's the other guys,
like Mitty and those fellas.
But I figured I'd split the two groups
because otherwise it's just a huge group of people.
And they don't all know each other super well.
Like each group is really tight with each other, but not so much with the intermixing.
Separate but equal.
That's what I always say.
Not a lot of cross-pollination in those groups.
Not a lot of cross-pollination.
I like everybody, but not always a two-way street.
So the second week like
i said scum midi zt dj guys like that that i've known for like four years um do a week with them
and chis is staying for the whole amount of time like as long as i stay chis will be there
um so if you guys want to come you can do week one group week two group uh and then after that
there's gonna be a re-evaluation
period with me
and Chiz where we're going to say, all right,
how much longer do we want to stay?
And does anybody else
want to stay for another month?
Because the answer to question A
is four more weeks at
least. And so Chiz
and I will get a much
more reasonable place that's like
$50 a night or something. When you do a
month-long stay on Airbnb,
you can save a huge
amount of money, like $1,500
a month, but gets you a really,
really nice house on Airbnb.
So we'll do a
place like that, and I'll stay for a
whole month. So I'm staying for like
six weeks as soon as i'm
allowed um to to leave the state october the latest right yeah i think october 8th so like
maybe on the 9th i'm free like everything's all done or maybe the 10th so like 8th 9th 10th
something like that and then uh you know from the 10th to the, I don't know, 45 days thereafter, I will be gone.
And Denver.
That's exciting.
Sunshine State.
Well, you know, it doesn't matter to you.
You'll be inside getting high.
You know, I'll do some activities.
But look, you know, like I always say, like, like the, the main act, weed is
the activity is the activity enhancer.
As long as, as long as I can have it, I'll do anything else.
So if I can get one of those vape pens, like we wouldn't play putt, putt, uh, mini golf,
uh, for the, for those that don't know what putt, putt is.
I don't know if everybody calls it that last time.
And, uh, and I, I had this little vape pen that you could refill
and i you know i just had weed and something like this that you could smoke in public and nobody
would smell it or it wouldn't because i i don't like that i was walking in my neighborhood
yesterday maybe this morning dude was smoking a joint in his front yard and i could smell it and
i could see him and i was just like yo what's what's up? Oh God, don't breathe, don't breathe.
Like trying to get past this guy
fucking smoking in the fucking broad daylight.
But yeah, I'll do anything
as long as I bring a vape pen.
But anything that works like,
ah, yeah, so we don't allow those here
or if there's some way that,
no way that I could get my vape pen there,
I'm not doing it,
but I'll ride horses.
I'll ride ATV,
snowmobiles,
a putt,
putt,
top golf,
paintball,
whatever.
As long as I've got a vape pen,
paintball would be fun.
But yeah,
top golf is a good idea.
That's a good thing to do with the group.
I'm so down to go hit golf balls and get drunk at top golf.
Do you golf much?
It sounds like you like golf.
Maybe I'm, okay.
Maybe it's just.
I have fun at driving ranges.
I've been to a driving range before,
and it wasn't any fun at all.
It was just, you just hit the ball,
you watched it go, and then you did that again.
I like it too.
I'm not good at golf, but I know how to swing.
And it's like I hit it and it's like, okay, that was pretty bad.
You readjust and you can see yourself getting better at it as you're going
and then dramatically worse once you get to like two drunk.
We got into it when I was like maybe 16 to 18, something like that.
And we would go to pawn shops and just get progressively more expensive drivers.
I don't have any clubs.
I've got a driver.
And, you know, we would just fucking crack balls in the field,
and we'd go to the local driving range and just knock the fuck out of them.
And it's a very satisfying sound and feel when you hit the sweet spot,
just like baseball.
When you hit a baseball,
just right.
It's a very nice feeling and it feels so good.
It's,
it's like,
oh man,
I creamed that fucking thing.
I hit it right in the sweet spot and it sounds really cool.
And golf is similar in that way.
It's like when you hit one nice and straight and just right in the sweet spot and then it fucking sails out
there it's very sad that sharp sound when you hit the golf ball just right it like sounds like a
like you're powering up it's like a tinny loud sound but you need to be good at golf to get
that sound so i don't hear it often i was gonna say maybe it's less fun for me because I'm so bad. My swing, you know how if you swing it right and you sort of finish up high?
If you're bad at it, it almost swings behind you like a baseball bat?
Yeah.
I'm closer to that.
I discovered after a good bit of practice, because I never had a teacher or anything,
that taking like 25% off my gave made me so much better like it'll go further
sometimes just focusing on form instead of like happy gilmore crushing it yeah i at the time i
was doing i was this i was a long time i was in my 20s and i was pretty athletic looking guy
and some fat dude who must have been 67 was crushing it. I'm like, is this
even a sport? I could beat this guy
in any other sport, I'm sure of it.
He's killing me.
Knock off. He does that maneuver
50 times
an hour while he's there.
Did you guys follow the Tiger Woods thing?
Not
since the first day.
I read his statement and apparently like his legs the way he
said it the legs were pretty fucked up it was like yeah with a series of rods and screws and
poles and also we had to do surgery on soft tissue because it was some of the muscle was so smashed
it had to be like that's a serious fucking wreck yeah it is it doesn't sound like he'd be playing
golf anytime soon maybe he's one of those guys who like had his body insured for someone got
not that he needs money but like maybe he had his like a bill like ability to not to to golf
you know whatever some body part uh insured for some ungodly amount of money because
i can't think of where i've heard that before but i've definitely heard like maybe a pitcher
or something like had their arm i bet taylor can fill it in but there was a hockey player
and i think he lost an eye and he had his he had a lot of insurance. It covered him. And it turns out that one-eyed, he's good enough to get back in the NHL.
And he had to repay or lose a ton of insurance money that they paid out to him.
He lost his eye in a hockey game, got the insurance, made it back into the NHL, and had to return.
It was a bad financial decision to be a professional athlete, but it's what he wanted.
I didn't know that.
I would not think you could be a pro athlete with one eye in i can't the only sport i could think
was maybe it's sports where you close an eye you know like like like target shooting or something
i think you need both eyes well the distance doesn't change so you but but like anything
where you're like hitting hitting something or catching something or throwing something, I think you need both eyes.
Oh, yeah.
I mean, he still plays for one of the worst teams in the league.
He plays for the Chicago Blackhawks right now.
Who are you talking about?
The guy who has his vision in one eye, Carl Soderbergh.
Apparently a high stick detached his left eye retina when he was
21 and he still has
played in the NHL since 2012.
There's more than one. I sent
a link. Did I send
it? No, it didn't.
That doesn't have to do with hockey. No, it doesn't.
Let me send it.
That was a topic. I don't like
it. I didn't even know Carl Soderbergh's eyes were so big.
So Brian Berard, he played for the Rangers,
and he had a devastating eye injury.
And yeah, the insurance companies,
the way I remember it, he had to pay it back.
But they wanted $18 million back from him
because he didn't lose his ability to play hockey
no that's trash he lost an eye give him a break
i don't know uh i'm scanning to figure out what happened
he lost it while playing for the maple leaves losing sight in his eye
uh he signed a waiver agreeing to
repay the money and was barred from ever
attempting to recoup it. Yeah, so dude, he
had to pay the
money back.
Yeah, that
sucks. He shouldn't have
to.
Maybe he should. Yeah, right?
I mean, I feel like you're like,
you know what? As an act of kindness i'm
going to give this guy this guy's money insurance company they got enough right right it doesn't
have enough player yeah you know i was watching last night on stream just kind of wild hair up
my ass kind of idea i'm like you know what know what? There's a Blues game. I'm going to stream myself watching it and talking to people,
and enough people like hockey in my chat that they'll watch it on their own stream or something.
And so we did that, and I was, like, bitching the whole time.
We got smashed by the Kings.
Well, it was only 2-1, but the Blues looked terrible.
They're half team because they're so injured.
And I was bitching on there, like, they'd be doing better if it wasn't for fucking all their good players being out and now we're dealing with you know one of our
last nhl level defenseman scandela back here he wouldn't be on the team if we had a full lineup
and then like two minutes later some guy on their team takes a big like shot ring around the boards
deflects off one of our guys sticks and hits scandela in the face and he
goes down is bleeding all over the ice and then he immediately goes to the locker room and it's like
now we're just out of nhl defense just like i was trying to commentate and like so when like one of
our lines that still people who can play i was like oh you know perron top of the point back to
o'reilly o'reilly down to parade like whatever was. And then the other ones I was trying to commentate, and I'm like,
53? Who the hell are these people?
They're doing really well, but who the fuck?
I was Googling people. I had no idea.
Sometimes call-ups overperform, though.
I don't know. It's a while ago.
But when I used to watch the Flyers and there was a call-up, I'm like,
dude, that guy is given 100% tonight.
That guy is trying to earn a spot on the Flyers.
This is an opportunity of a lifetime for him.
And, you know, sometimes they do well.
True.
Yeah, because they are going balls to the wall 100%, as would anyone.
But the problem is sometimes, you you know trying really hard isn't enough
there's a reason that you're 26 and still playing for an ahl team because a middling nhl middle six
player just made you look like a fool like just some guy with no wheels just blew by you so yeah
season's going bad at this point.
Colorado's not doing too well either.
Blues and Colorado have been slipping,
but they'll bounce back before the end of the year as long as – I don't know what's up with Colorado.
I'm looking forward to them playing each other.
That's what I was –
Yeah, finally, if they –
there was some COVID thing that bounced them away from each other
for like two months, so I don't know when they play again.
Let's see.
Hopefully soon.
The Blues need to bounce back.
Actually, no, hopefully not soon because Colorado's a good fucking team.
But do you want the Blues to
bounce back or get a draft pick?
They're not going to suck bad
enough to get a good draft pick, so I'd rather them bounce back.
Really? The way you tell it, they're
awful. They're an AHL team.
But see, they won't be an
AHL team the whole season.
Once the team comes back, they'll win enough that they'll get a middling pick.
It's March, though.
It's not literally March, but it's almost March.
I think there's, what are we, 20 games into the season?
So there's like 34 games left.
So 36 games left.
So there's good time to see.
Okay.
We'll see.
I'm just happy hockey season's back.
It's given me so much more content to watch.
It's great.
I've been watching Mission Impossible a bit lately.
Kyle said it was, I don't want to misquote him,
but something like the best action movie series that exists.
It was high praise.
That's it.
So I was like, you know, I don't think I've seen them.
And I checked it out.
I saw Ghost Protocol. Good stuff. Good stuff. I enjoyed it. So I was like, you know, I don't think I've seen them. And I checked it out. I saw Ghost Protocol.
Good stuff.
Good stuff.
I enjoyed it.
The one with Henry Cavill is real good.
He's got a mustache.
It's the infamous mustache that caused the Superman Justice League to have the Uncanny Valley CGI mustache removal nonsense.
Is that a recent one? i guess it would be it might be the most recent one um tom cruise and henry cavill have a fight on board a helicopter
where they're just like inside the helicopter and under the helicopter and just i'm sure it's
but that sounds like a bit of a mismatch in real life. My money's on Henry. Yeah. Yeah. Mine is too. Henry's a big boy and, and, and, and younger and a fitter,
but Tom Cruise climbs a rope. The helicopter is flying and Tom Cruise is on a rope underneath it.
And he's really, I'm sure he's attached of course with safety cables. But he's climbing a rope under a flying helicopter in midair and climbs in.
And it's just like, oh, my God.
He does not need to be doing this.
He is doing this for the love of the game, man.
It impresses me when they do that.
There's two that I have in mind.
It impresses me when they do that.
There's two that I have in mind.
Apparently, Keanu Reeves actually has some noteworthy martial arts and what I'll call gun-fu skills.
Absolutely.
He's actually good at that.
Tom Cruise, I saw him skydiving.
And he did a skydiving thing with a chubby late-night host.
Jimmy Kimmel?
Nope.
Blonde hair.
The other one.
Sings well.
Yeah. I don't watch any of that shit.
But he does Carvel Karaoke.
People don't know who he is.
James?
James Cobell?
Carvel?
That's a political dude.
Yeah, exactly.
He's the raging Cajun.
I'm just going to assert.
James Corden.
That's it. Anyway. James Corden.
That's it.
Anyway, James Corden, not a skydiver.
Tom Cruise, clearly a skydiver.
Halo jumper.
Okay.
He had all his own gear. I don't know how to put it into words,
just how comfortable and experienced he was in that situation.
But apparently cruz has
thousands of jumps motorcycles too okay yeah and he's a pro rider he's a pro runner he's a pro
skydiver climber he's fighter he's a stunt man and there's like there are people who do their
own stunts and sometimes that means they do the easy stunts i do my own fake fighting
at a bar with tons of cut scenes and you know like it's a different thing than i jump from
building to building i'm the skydiver i am the dude on the cables running outside of a skyscraper
that's a different hanging on the side of that airplane did you see that one yes he did that
he did that so like i don't know i would be
one of those i do my own stunts meaning i'm the guy that slid across the hood of that car yeah
that's uh that's a different level than what yeah i don't like i don't like tom cruise i don't think
i would want to be in a room with him other than just to say i've been in a room with tom cruise
but i don't think that like i would choose to be friends with tom cruise other than like whatever benefits you get from
being friends with conference but him as a person i don't think i would like him i think i would
i think i would hate him i bet he's very charismatic i bet he can tell a story if he
wants to be sure yeah yeah i bet he's weird i think the scientology thing is a creepy cult that he is neck deep in i i think he's real
weird about women i think he's an odd odd little man i'm open to the idea oh there was more do you
want to i want him in my movies i i love his movies i think that scientology obviously a
terrible deal if i join it right i'm one of those guys that gives all their
money. Maybe it's a good
deal if you're Tom Cruise. Great deal for Tom Cruise.
If you're at the top of the food chain,
Scientology provides your
lawn mowing service and your
maids and your this and your that.
You know they got him all of his women, right?
I did not know that.
They find those
women for him.
Like Katie Holmes?
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
They like groom those women and pick them out and like, ah, she's a fit for Tom.
Okay.
So she'll be in New York and we'll get Tom to be here.
And like they set the whole thing up and like put the pieces together for Tom.
Yeah.
Katie Holmes was on my list.
You know, I've talked about how Emma Watson, I think, is one of the better Hollywood women. put the pieces together for Tom. Katie Holmes was on my list.
I've talked about how Emma Watson, I think, is one of the better
Hollywood women. Katie Holmes was on that list
too. I always thought she was really cool.
I think she's got resting
retard face. Her
eyes are just dumb.
She looks like
she's got Terry Shivo
face or something. I don't find her to be...
Look, she's pretty.
Don't get me wrong.
Like, you know, don't get me wrong.
I've seen the topless photos of her when she's wearing that weird strappy thing.
And like, she's got a pretty face.
But she's got dopey eyes.
Something about her face.
And she's like, I don't know, kind of an...
She's just got kind of a dumb look on her
face all the fucking time i thought nicole kidman was beautiful i'm a big fan of nicole kidman
uh uh that was his maybe his first wife i know they were married for quite a while
all right so it's funny i i never saw it until you said that. And I'm seeing, I'm showing pictures
to everybody. Mostly they're posed. She's very pretty. I mean, even at our level, we've spent,
God, what have we spent? 3000 hours in front of a camera at this point. You know what you look like,
you know, your angles, you know, your whatever. I i'm sure she's there but there are a few like candids where it's like oh yeah she has some sort of like unattractive weird resting
face thing it's it's not great yeah she looks dopey um and i don't think she is dopey like i
she she seems intelligent talented um beautiful fit, fit, all of the above.
But she's also, if we're talking about like Tom Cruise kind of is picking his lady
or being assigned one by the Church of Scientology with their resources,
eh, could have done a little better, I think.
He knows what he did.
He grabbed Katie's best 12 years and then cast her aside.
Have you seen that chart of when he gets with these women and when he dumps them?
Is that Cruz's or DiCaprio's?
Oh, shit.
That's right.
I think they both have similar patterns.
Okay.
I think it's like DiCaprio's the one who doesn't go over 25 ever.
That's hilarious. 25 is pretty young like you
can't stay with a girl very long if you don't want her to pass 25 that's what his life is
as long as it's on your morals 1920 21 22 10 15 years i wonder if his uh i wonder if his um his ideal range will change as he ages, right?
I just think at 48, 18-year-olds are literally uninteresting children to you at that point, mostly.
There's going to be exceptions, I suppose.
There's an interesting survey, or I don't think it was a study,
or self-report survey that showed it was like perceived level of attractiveness and desirability and what
they found is that women pretty consistently you know want someone a few
years older than them throughout life until you get to like 50s and then like
even a 65 year old woman's like yeah I don't want a 68 year old man I'm gonna
like younger guy and so it shows like there's like a curve like this.
Then it kind of goes back down again a little bit.
And the guys, every single age prefers like 21.
It's like the ideal age range for you, Mr. McGillicuddy.
You're 81.
Oh, 21.
It just shows it's like a pillar, like a straight line.
It's like, oh, 35-year-olds actually prefer 20-year-olds.
Interesting.
It's so funny to see.
It's evolution, I guess, right?
Yeah, that's what it is.
Oh, yeah.
It's the fertility years.
You know, though, if it were straight up a function of fertility,
what would the year be?
Would it be 16?
I tried to stop him. i tried to stop him i'm just look i'm going bio here society says i don't know woody what what age would you prefer
for fertility it's not about me and my oh it is now well i guess they get fertile at 12.
Peek's probably around like 18, right?
What's peak female?
I don't know.
It's probably 16, man.
It's probably 15, 16.
Late teens and early 20s.
Why would an 18-year-old be more fertile than a 15-year-old?
It seems like the 15-year-old has the freshest eggs.
I have no idea.
No, like, it is clearly, like,
growing into being fertile, right?
Right, so day one's not their best day, right?
Like, if women become fertile at 12,
I don't think that's their best.
Why not?
I don't know.
I don't know. I don't know. this because that you don't think their first egg might be their best
maybe i don't know but that site said late teens this one says after puberty female fertility
increases then decreases and that ties into peaking at late teens early 20s I'll look for another source
decreasing probably like 30s
30 and you know
I think ISIS has
some good paperwork on this
they have a couple studies
the Mormons I think are the
way to go
well the Mormons have the more the merrier
kind of policy they're like
who cares?
Just get five or six and spaghetti on the wall.
I found another site that says 18, but I'm very suspicious that it happens to be like the first legal adulthood year is their most.
Like, you know what?
It really is pretty great at 18.
Hey, let's figure this out.
What is peak female fertility in England?
I want to know where it is in like American Indians, right?
Like that's the whole no rules.
Because am I crazy?
I want to say that they pair up at like 14 and have babies at 16.
And like this is I'm talking about 300 years.
On the reservations?
No, like before Europeans came to America. Well, they had a life expectancy of like 30 years ago. On the reservations? No, like before Europeans came to America.
Oh.
Well, they had a life expectancy of like 30 years probably,
so probably for the best.
For millennia, women have been getting pregnant
and bearing children in their teens and early 20s.
Not much different from the Crepina Neanderthals
living in the northern...
Well, that's not fucking helpful, dude.
I have a new thing.
Give me a number.
I guarantee it's like immediately after puberty.
Here's a counter argument.
In their early teens, girls have irregular ovulation resulting in irregular menstrual cycles.
But by age 16, they've established regular ovulation and regular periods, etc.
It sounds like women get a little better at making eggs.
Consistently. regular periods etc it sounds like women get a little better at making eggs consistently but that still doesn't answer like when they are most fertile when their eggs are the best
is that i think that's the real question which egg is best egg the brand new egg that we just
dropped that first one a new egg just dropped.
I found two more sites
that both say 20s.
I am still suspicious that
they're trying to be politically correct.
Look,
you know,
I'm not trying to be gross here
or weird. I'm just saying, like,
with my limited knowledge of
female reproduction, it just seems
like why wouldn't that first
egg be the best egg? Because I do know this.
This I do know.
The final few eggs
This I do know.
This I do know.
The last half dozen
eggs are shit.
You don't want one of those. they're rotten eggs from the get-go
those eggs have been sitting on that you know you know the shelves uh how the fridge has those like
that one egg shelf some of the older fridges where you can actually has a thing. They've been sitting in the back of that motherfucker for 40 fucking years.
She's 57.
This is her last one.
That's a loser of an egg.
That's a loser of an egg.
That kid's going to have all kinds of fucking issues.
That kid won't have issues.
Hey,
this is where the origin is.
The last one's a rotten egg.
This is probably what they're talking about.
And you know the history of that.
Comes from women becoming useless after a rotten egg has passed through.
Look, that's what I'm basing this whole theory on, really,
is that if the final few eggs are garbage eggs then and
i'm not basing that on some sort of like jokey like sexism or something like that it's a known
thing that like women who uh conceive at in their later years uh those eggs produce
offspring with with issues.
Although a woman in her 40s may still be ovulating,
the eggs are of poorer quality.
As a woman ages, the percentage of eggs with genetic abnormalities will increase.
This leads to a decrease in fertility, an increase in miscarriage, and an increase in having a chromosomally abnormal baby, like Down syndrome, if pregnancy does occur.
There are exceptions to every rule, and it's scary, but keep in mind,
one day you'll run out of eggs.
Well, I won't.
Yeah, I won't.
Not my problem.
I use egg beaters.
Just like every guy in that survey, we can just hard scope 21.
You know the best thing about college, girls?
I keep getting older
and they keep dating me.
Just some 81-year-old fucking creep.
That's Matthew McConaughey.
Yeah.
I was fucking 16-year-olds before it was cool.
Matthew, you shouldn't say that.
No, it was in England.
It was cool. It was fine.
I was...
Mr. Clinton, was it on an island that was uh
i was uh i also like lincoln's
so male fertility declines in their 40s and it drops one to two percent a year i feel
personally attacked oh so you're lucky you minus yeah i guess I'm not peak anymore.
I wish I could find a way to increase my fertility.
Just get a vasectomy.
Why don't you just chemically castrate yourself?
Okay, that's different.
I know.
You just show up i'll show us up all
i watch more plates more dates videos all the time right and one thing he says he's like you
know guys get on trd and they act like it's this crazy super duper thing but we constantly
chemically castrate female like teenage girls all the time and it's just normal and i'm like damn i never
looked at it through that lens we do just chemically castrate 15 year olds 17 year olds
and no one blinks an eye for what when this is birth control pills oh yeah yeah see now i look
at it through that lens just chemically altering the hormonal uh system of of a human being and it's
like basically over the counter at this point with the birth control like like you can it's it's it's
just handed out willy-nilly and it's seen as a thing of it uh it's just like sex toys you know
like it's like it's like yeah i've got a sex toy i'm empowered what about you you got one yeah but don't tell anybody
i don't want anybody to laugh at me you know that's it's like uh that's a good parallel yeah
and yeah like there's a reason like every girl i've ever talked to you've ever talked when they're
like i was on a birth control once that made me fucking crazy and i had to get every girl every
girl has a story like that where they got control it makes them crazy and or it makes them feel out of the loop like foggy minded something and it's
like depressed yeah that's because you are changing enormously important hormones in a serious way
like you need that to be on balance in a lot of ways of course you throw that out of out of the
out of the loop you're not going to feel good I don't know if we had kept experimenting, if we would have found something that worked for Jackie,
but she basically had morning sickness all the time. Earth control pills
had that impact on her. She's throwing up and sick and is nauseous.
She had nonstop morning sickness. We're like, well, this isn't
for us. It's not for us either.
I'm going to roll the dice still.
The IUD seems to be the way to go
if you're not going to get a tubal ligation.
Yes.
A tube tie is dangerous.
Way more dangerous than a vasectomy.
Is it?
Yeah.
I think there's a...
Really, orthoscopic surgery is more dangerous
than an insertable device? Oh, no, I was saying than a... Probably the orthoscopic surgery is more dangerous than an insertable device.
Oh, no, I was saying then vasectomy.
Oh, then a vasectomy.
Yeah, that too.
Yeah, the vasectomy is a lot more kind of, you know, hop in, do it, and get out.
Yeah, because your balls are external, right?
They're already out there to work on,
whereas they go in through the belly button with a tubal ligation.
I didn't even know that's what it was called
yeah that would be nerve wracking
to have your scrotum cut open
I don't think I make a very tiny cut
and they go in with the
again orthoscopically you know the little
things in the camera and
do the thing
it makes that noise
yeah I look I guess I want one like a vasectomy but god damn it if I don't really
want to do it just pull and pray I just get a kick out of the idea of being really crude with the description, right?
Like, you know, what's your birth control plan?
I come on her face.
Yeah, I try not to bust inside.
Sometimes they're tits, sometimes they're belly button, but, you know, my kinks are mine and now, you know.
Yeah, it's always like for safety
i always come in the tittle region can't get pregnant small of her back you know back
unsuspecting on her face while she's asleep
it's just like like oh that that is what the method actually means. I think it literally
is a crime.
No.
Nine years ago, I got blanket consent
to do that sort of shit.
It holds up in court.
Literally a crime.
Literally a crime.
Ah.
Ah.
I don't think so
I wish that worked in court of law
I don't know
my client insists
what he did was legal
well if he insists
holy fuck this works
god damn it Yosemite Sam I'm glad I hired you Now this works.
Now,
Yosemite,
Sam,
I'm glad I hired you.
You must acquit.
You know,
then,
and he was taken.
These are ropes of love showing.
Ropes of love.
So IUDs last longer than I thought they did.
I thought there was a five-year cap,
but I see some of them are good for seven and 12 years,
which is a pretty good chunk of life.
Yeah.
If you're like, yeah, we use this from 30 to 42,
then fuck. I can feel it, though.
You don't want this?
I can feel it. It feels like don't want that i can feel it it feels like uh
you're there's a one of those fish lures that has the little dangly uh plastic things it's
literally that in there you can and you don't want that because you don't want to be feeling
plastic with your penis yeah it's not ideal no and it's
diaphragm is also rather
uncomfortable but like
none of them are perfect
except pull and pray which of course is without
flaw pull and pray so far
100%
I
every day I say a
little prayer to that's why it's working
actually yeah I say a little prayer to the dark Lord. That's why it's working, actually.
Yeah, I say a little prayer to the Dark Lord that you're a girl.
You do the pray.
Keep growing up to the Dark Lord.
Keep until I want a kid.
And then, man, it'd be kind of funny if I was sterile this whole time.
Kid question, Taylor.
So let's say you do decide that it's time to have kids.
What is your target family?
Do you want three, one, five boys and girls, all boys, all girls?
I haven't given, I definitely want two or three kids.
I wouldn't want one because everybody,
all my friends who are only children were like,
Oh,
you don't know how lucky you were to have brothers and the stuff to like
hang out with and do things with.
Like I was so fucking bored all the time.
Like I have two of my very close friends,
uh,
we're both,
uh,
single children and they got married and now they're my age and they just
had their third kid.
Like they wanted to have a big family because they both really,
really despised like feeling alone and not having siblings.
So at least two,
three might be ideal depending on how life's going.
So I would,
I'd say three,
two or three would be that.
And I want at least one son.
I don't care if it's a son and two girls,
a man child.
You're like,
I don't need any girls, but I need one boy.
Do I have that right?
Yep.
Yeah, I need at least one boy.
I will settle between one, two, and three boys.
Yep.
I'll settle for that.
I'm fine with it.
And it's like, apparently it's the man's sperm that determines the sex of the child.
And so.
I like to believe that the woman has chosen.
You gave her a billion choices. and it's really her fault.
Isn't that funny?
Back in the day,
you should behead her.
Be some king.
He's like,
give me another daughter.
And it's like pumping nothing but lady semen into her and getting pissed off.
Statistically improbable.
She should have chosen the male sperm.
Yeah.
What the hell, ladies?
Get it together.
So I'll just need to tell my wife at the time to be like, just focus.
Look at me.
Focus.
Make it a son.
Give me.
Oh, I don't know if I told.
You know, we have George Foreman, who's oddly a girl.
She's having
a baby brother, and Jackie's pretty
excited about it.
Will you be watching the baby brother often?
Yeah, I don't know the exact
schedule over that, but
at some point we'll be watching the two of them.
Does Jackie enjoy it a lot?
Yeah, she's all about it.
She's all about it. I don't know.
She's born for that.
Is it nice? Because I'm sure you're kind of... Yeah, she's all about it. She's all about it. I don't know. She's born for that. Yeah.
Is it nice?
Because I'm sure you're kind of, are you very disinterested?
Like, it's not really on your radar, kind of like, oh, yeah.
I get to engage and disengage as I see fit, right?
So if she's this sparkling, like, happy child, she calls me Uncle Woody.
You know, Uncle Woody, Uncle Woody. And I pick her up and I shake her and I hold her by her feet and I throw her across the this sparkling like happy child she calls me uncle woody you know uncle woody uncle woody and i pick
her up and i shake her and i hold her by her feet and i throw her across the room on the couch and
she's laughy laughy laughy and then when i'm done i'm like here you go all riled up it's on you
this is i am every now i was trying to play and i heard her it's your problem if she's cranky or whatever that is just 100 of jackie thing uh i
i just i slice off the frosting of that cake and let jackie do all the work that's the best way
that's exactly what i would be doing yeah every once in a blue moon there's a like i actually
have to help but that's i mean it probably like it hasn't happened 2021 to give you an example of how common that is. It's about to be March.
Yeah, yeah.
But.
It hasn't happened this year.
So I just, you know, whatever, chip in when I feel like it.
I was, this is a different thing, but I was watching like Joe Rogan clips on YouTube where he was having like you know fitness guys talk about
lifting and different strategies and thoughts and that and of course you know youtube autoplay is it
gets you into the weeds and before i know it like i'm lifting and i'm hearing joe talk to some guy
about like the carnivore diet of like the which is literally just you eat nothing but meat and
like it was it was funny like it's a couple different clips because i got fascinated with it
did it make him more aggressive taylor did it make him aggressive yeah make him more now joe
you fucking lunatic yeah and like uh the first guy i was talking to was all about like and you
don't even need vegetables and you don't need this and what you need is meat you just need to
balance the kinds of meat you have you need the right saturated fat you need blah blah blah and
of course joe is usually like a sounding board and it's kind of like that's
interesting okay tell me more about it and then there was another one where like he was talking
to someone who's like yeah i mean i guess if it works for you but it doesn't really make any sense
at all you know i'm a real dietician it doesn't this doesn't make any sense and joe's like it's
like he clicked for him he's like yeah broccoli's not gonna hurt you like would it ruin your whole
day if you put a little broccoli on
the plate next to the meat like really like and it was just that kind of like dumb joe rogan
simplicity it's like yeah this this shit doesn't make any sense and it's like the big like oh this
works for someone was jordan peterson he's like now this worked for jordan peterson it's like
no probably not probably not.
Probably not.
You know, this guy was having problems with things before that,
and he probably still is continuing to now.
There's no way that switching to all chicken
and just excising asparagus from your diet is making tremendous gains for you.
Like, I just, it doesn't make any sense.
Even like this pop kind of nutrition.
Did he claim the carnivore diet brought his hair back?
Am I right on that?
It cured his autoimmune disease and caused his hair to grow back?
Are you familiar with Jordan Peterson's hairline?
I don't know about the hairline.
I would assume that's because he was made a ton of money and he's just putting it back.
But the autoimmune thing I did hear, Joe mentioned that.
And I just don't believe it.
and I just don't believe it.
I believe that maybe getting rid of processed carbs got rid of some of his inflammation
and feelings of soreness or pain or whatever.
That makes sense, but really, it's the meat.
Getting rid of sweet potatoes and Brussels sprouts
and green beans did this.
Really? No.
There's no fucking way.
Stopping eating chips and popeyes did this
so i guess not even pop or i guess they could eat popeyes if they peeled all the good parts off
yeah it gets grilled popeyes no i don't i don't care if it's a fucking miracle cure there's no
fucking way i would want to just eat meat and animal product what how much of that fuck up
your gi tract too like eating and it's
not even just animal product at first you'd have diarrhea continuously but like you'd adjust to it
after a while um i i'm sure but um the thing would be like i don't know i like salads a lot
like like like i like like a spring salad mix with some vinaigrette or something like that.
It's really filling. It's tasty.
I like that.
I like carbs.
Sweet potatoes and rice.
Carbs rock.
Beans and bread and pasta.
Those things are...
I think you need those things in your diet for a balanced diet.
Even the other carbs. The fruits, the grapes,
the melons, the pineapple.
Oh, shit.
I'm sure there's an answer for
everything, but I would question
where do you get your vitamin C?
Where do you get some really
important nutrients and micronutrients
and vitamins
if you're only eating animal products
and i'm sure there's answers to those like like oh we'll see you bone marrow is full of vitamin c
and it's like shit well okay i guess give me a heaping portion of bone marrow then but it's like
i'd rather just eat an orange yeah that tastes better anyway i'd
i'd assume yeah i would think you'd have some grapes but or some blueberries or whatever for
for these you know it just doesn't it doesn't pass the smell test it doesn't pass the smell
test whatsoever like i feel like it maybe it's too extreme like maybe jordan peterson was eating
absolute shit and trash pizzas all the
time and then just goes whole hog into carnivore and now attributes all of his successes to
dropping the processed sugars instead of like you know the meat if you watch um dropping the
process what's his name uh tennyson on uh on youtube he does this a lot he tests out
various diets he's done the carnivore diet i think
maybe even for a whole month at least a week he does that a lot he's like i he'll have videos like
his name tennyson his last name's tennyson he's uh i don't know in his 20s real real ripped guy
like like not like overly ripped i think he's natural um he does like workout stuff a lot of
diet nutrition information some cooking stuff uh slips in some like dirty jokes while he does like workout stuff, a lot of diet and nutrition information, some cooking stuff,
uh, slips in some like dirty jokes while he does it kind of fun involves his family.
His mom's real fit and she's like in her late forties, no, maybe fifties or something like
that.
Like she's an older, um, lady, uh, very fit, you know, like, but, but anyway, um,
I'd be like, yeah, I cut out all refined sugar for a month and this
is what happened and you know he'll show like what happened to his weight or his body composition
throughout that time but he does that with a number of things like maybe he goes atkins or
maybe he goes carnivore or um you know just cutting out or adding in various things and he'll do fun videos that are like
20 000 calorie cheat cheat day uh he's friends with greg doucette uh they do some content together
uh i i like him i i can't i think of his first name it's it's will tennyson i was about to say
will yeah yeah i'm on this channel yeah nice guy seemingly um i i like that he slips in some like dirty jokes and stuff like like
some self-deprecating humor while he's like yeah going through his groceries or his or his eating
or his workouts or whatever about carnivore do you recall or did you not watch i didn't watch it i i
frankly don't give a shit about those videos uh i usually watch if he's cooking something or if he's doing like something
that I'm into specifically like, oh, let's see how he feels about this. Or, you know, I've watched a
few of his workout videos to see like, because he's got a great physique. He's got really good,
you know, he's low body fat, probably, I don't know know striking distance of single digits you know probably 12 14 somewhere
in there i guess um and it seems like a lot of those like fitness influencers are short guys
like it seems like many many of them are little guys helps you look wider and broader if you're
shorter i think it's a lot easier to have
a really sharp physique when you're shorter too i i like maybe your muscle inserts are
more impressive or like like like greg doucette for example i think greg's a little guy five six
holy shit are you kidding me i actually he's five six and a half but he calls himself five six which
violates the rule you're supposed to round up yeah round up go for the five seven wow i thought his
girlfriend was like six one or something like that i guess she's just a regular sized lady i
watched a lot of doucette content he's mentioned a bunch of times and they also measured his height
on the he had a deca scan so it was pretty accurate dexa okay yeah um yeah he yeah
i think a lot of them are real short guys a couple things i think that like you said like their
muscle insertions just look a little better they don't tend to be string beanie when they're short
guys and also i i feel like fitness model bodybuilder type thing where you don't compete against other men,
like it lends itself to that sport. So if you're an athletic person, if you're Jeff Nippard or
you're Greg Doucette or whatever, you're going to struggle in swimming or S you know, a lot of
sports that were tennis, basketball, uh, you know, like football might work for those guys.
Like, like I'm always impressed by
like the little running backs who are like small enough to fit through holes and stuff like that
the speedy guys who are just powerhouses of compact fucking tissue yeah maybe there's a
position in football where they could pull it or they could succeed like you said but by and large
you know like some guy who's six foot three even though he's a little more lengthy in the biceps and doesn't have the same peak, is just can do more athlete shit.
Yeah, for sure.
Yeah.
I just think and I think it's easier to have an impressive looking physique when you're when you're that size.
My wingspan is like 74 fucking inches.
It's hard to put on enough muscle that it looks like anything.
Whereas like if your wingspan is like 60 inches,
which it's like,
holy shit.
Wow.
It's like,
well,
you know,
I'm,
I'm,
I'm little.
If you took my cheesy bicep,
oh,
you can't even see it.
And,
uh,
shrunk it to a five,
six person's arm.
It might be cool. Oh shit. Yeah't even see it. And shrunk it to a five, six person's arm. It might be cool.
Oh, shit.
It would just matter.
The muscle keeps bolting up
and up as the elbow
to shoulder shrinks down.
If you were to do that,
I don't know. I bet AthleanX
is a little fucker, too. How tall
is that bastard? Is he lying? Is he
wearing false
lifting shoes?
You got lifts on, bro.
At the next height.
He's 5'8", according to the internet.
Yeah, you're right.
These guys are not as tall as you imagine.
No.
You see them, they're all ripped as fuck.
And for some reason...
Like, Schwarzenegger's 6'1".
Like, you're...
I don't know.
6'1", huh? Yeah. I think know 6-1 huh yeah i think he's
towering inferno or anything but he's not a little guy either juji's like 5-11 i think and he is a
monster yeah he's up yeah judy's back it's it's unbelievably broad it's it's shockingly big
they've what's the news on so three days days ago, I was going to write you guys
about this. I'm like, I'm being such a drama whore.
I'll just not send it.
He hasn't uploaded a video in a month.
I stop by their most recent video
every so often to see
is there one?
Did I miss it? I enjoy their content. What's up?
Jujie and Tom
I think are no longer working together.
They've unfollowed each other on Instagram,
and there's supposed to be an official announcement soon.
So I guess I'll go to Jujie's Instagram and look for it.
I did not know any of this.
It still says Jujie and Tom on their YouTube channel.
Yeah.
What is it, Jujimufu Instagram?
Yeah, I found his Instagram instagram but there's nothing like
i've decided not to talk shit about people who could eat me so i'm not talking shit yeah yeah
but i was gone oh yeah yeah dude you're looking juji you're looking really small bro
i uh i i just wonder what, I really enjoy their content.
I wonder what the future of the channel is.
I'm just, I'm a viewer who likes their stuff.
And it's like, what is a Juju video without Tom in it?
At first, you're like, now maybe I'm talking.
Juju seems like the star of the show, right?
Because he's the guy that you don't bump into every day.
You can go to the mall and there's only one Jji there but there could be a couple of toms um but now i'm like wait a minute no tom
he did all the editing he did this he did that suddenly i'm missing tom and he's not even
does he have a cracked version of sony vegas 10 well god damn why didn't you say so son he can clip and drag
serious rendering skills i think he came up with a lot of the video ideas like when they did
reacting to other uh other people's diets or you know they did like a thousand reps of biceps
or something in a row
and I don't know I'm just like
what's it going to be without Tom I guess we'll see
yeah I mean
if there's a flip book
I mean if there is a rivalry
I will go team Juju
because he has bigger muscles.
Yeah, look, I just want to see the mountain man.
I'm impressed by Juju.
Maybe I don't watch enough.
Maybe Tom has some charm that I just haven't picked up on watching their show.
I enjoyed him when he was here.
It was fun chatting with him and everything,
but I really wanted to like talk to Juju mostly because like,
he's,
he had,
he is interesting because he looks interesting.
Like,
like to me,
he's the draw.
Like,
like we talk about these other fitness YouTubers.
I think their,
their look and,
and what they've achieved,
their,
their bodies are resume to some extent.
And, and like, when i look at athlean x despite the fact that ashley uses fake weights and and and gives out bullshit
information and lies with his 10 million subscribers um it's a very impressive physique
that requires tons of hard work and discipline.
You nailed it with the discipline, work ethic, you name it, all of the above.
That's his resume.
And the same is true for someone with Greg DeCette, except for he's got it on paper, right?
IFBB pro, you know, fucking he's got trophies and medals and shit.
And you look at somebody like Derek and he's got it in and medals and shit education and you look at somebody like
derrick and he's got it in spades not only the physique but listen to the man speak for five
minutes you're like not this is someone who is passionately educated is the you know like i would
i would lean on his expertise as much as uh an endocrinologist because the indo is doing this
because it's their job derrick's doing it because it's his fucking passion.
It's what he cares about.
You know,
the,
the,
the same way,
like if I were looking for a movie suggestion,
I might not pick the guy working by the,
behind the counter at a blockbuster if it's still like fucking existed,
but I might pick the guy whose path is a fucking cinephile.
And all he does is fucking study this shit because he loves it,
not because he's getting paid minimum wage to do it.
That's kind of how I look at that.
And with Jujie, going back to where we started,
he's a fucking – like he's gone too far, frankly.
He's beyond any sense of aesthetics.
He's a golem of a man, and that's fascinating.
And it's fun to see him.
And not only – And he's agile. Seeing him do it's fun to see him. And not only is he's agile,
seeing him do it.
Yeah.
He's a fucking like trick.
275.
I'm guessing 270 pound Ninja.
Like it's like when you saw him around and that like rubbery suit thing he
was in.
Did you see him do it at that size?
He did a backflip in jeans.
Shock.
It does gotta be barbell jeans, let's be fair.
But I can't do a backflip butt naked on a trampoline.
I would do like a 600-pound deadlift and then do a backflip in celebration.
And it's like none of the other guys could do that.
So he's amazing.
I will say for me personally, I agree with everything you just said.
When Tom got that Brad Pitt body, suddenly he had a resume that appealed to me too.
And also Tom being very open with his story on how he was not emotionally the best version of him and he fell out of shape and then got back into it.
I like that.
It was inspiring for me.
I don't think he was completely honest though.
I feel like he should have been like,
yeah, well,
I went on steroids and I got coached by Juju
and we worked for eight months and then
this is what I did.
If you're
in it, nothing wrong with
using steroids,
but let us know.
Let us know.
What I don't like is when the fake natty thing, it's clickbait at this point.
It's absurd.
I'm tired of seeing it on my feed.
Fake natty, fake natty, fake natty.
But still, it is kind of a douchebaggery thing to do, especially if you're selling a product, whether that product is you or a fucking –
if you're fucking injecting yourself with 500 milligrams of test a week, but then you're like, oh, this all came from this little bottle of fucking amino acids, boys.
Get your fucking FPS
amino acids. They're the
best. Alright,
fucker.
You can do both at the same time.
You can be like, look, I'm enhanced.
But, these are the
best aminos that money can buy.
Notice it's in a brown fucking paper bag?
Yeah, because it's the cheapest way to get them to you.
Notice that, like, look at the back. This, this this and that like do that like tell me they're
good aminos explain to me what aminos do but don't act like you are built from this don't don't don't
equate this to this you know like just be honest about it i i use der's pre-workout. It's called Gorilla Mind.
Gorilla Mind.
Okay.
Anyway,
it's no bullshit
workout.
The first time I put a scoop in, I'm like,
oh, he went with dishwater
color. Well, that's a bold choice, but
okay.
Here we go. it actually tastes pretty
good but on the on the can it's like i'm gonna paraphrase this shit is gritty we don't cheap
out with ingredients being not gritty is not our top priority so stir it between every sip and i'm
like and you look at the ingredients though when it's just packed with like creatine. There's a stim and non-stim. Basically, he went full effective mode, and it tastes good.
But you have to stir it.
He didn't put pink in there or whatever, you know, might be in some.
No colors.
There's no colors.
It's just it does taste good.
So I guess he put some effort into that.
It looks like dishwater.
It tastes good, and you have to stir it every time.
As a matter of fact, after I drink it,
I put a little more water in there,
and then I get whatever wasn't in there.
What flavor is it, or do you not know?
There's a bunch.
There's like a lemon-lime, there's a fruit punch.
The good ones, all the classics, okay.
Yeah, all the classic shit.
I grew to appreciate, oh yeah he didn't
cheap out in any ingredients
he didn't prioritize like solubility
over effectiveness
and like
he prioritized L-citrulline because that's what you
fucking want like he didn't put beta-alanine
in there because he doesn't want you to have an itchy asshole
he wanted
I like that beta-alanine is stupid
and I hate it
I take L-citrulline in like pill form
I think it has creatine in it too
and I was like
oh it has creatine I wonder if it has enough
yes it has
enough it's fucking Derek shit
Derek doesn't give you
trace amounts of stuff he gives you all
of it
Derek makes the pre-workout that Derek would want
and then he sells it.
That's, I don't
know. That's all I want now. It is the
best pre-workout on the market.
Greg Doucette
did a video. Top five
pre-workouts on the
market today. Number one
is Gorilla Mode.
At the end,
Greg's a huge...
I want to be nice to Greg on the internet.
Greg knows how to
market things. Greg likes making
money, and there's nothing wrong with
either of those things.
I shouldn't be a shithead.
Calm down.
Leave it there
at the end he's like it's the best pre-workout on the market until i make a pre-workout
coming soon but it's just like it's like it's all he could do to like give derrick that one
like yeah yeah derek's the same as the gorilla until it's true it really is like because like
what what he says right because what most companies will do is they'll be
they they wouldn't they'll have their proprietary blend anything with a proprietary blend is
bullshit okay don't don't buy anything ever that has proprietary blend because that's just so they
can hide the amounts of things that are in other
things like like oh yeah we've got l-citrulline in here so it's a major it's a great ingredient
for to get to getting big pumps which is a big part of what a pre-workout is all about
and it's it's like well how much is it is it the maximum effective dose i don't know what that dose is, but let's say it's seven and a half milligrams. Oh, no, it's 0.7 milligrams.
Oh, so 10, 11 scoops then to like, well, yeah, if you want your maximum dose of L-citrulline.
Derek's like, no, one scoop will do it.
Two if you really want to go hardcore.
It's like one scoop of Derek's shit has enough of everything.
And two is the dose if you just really want to max everything completely out.
You look at how much creatine you need and one scoop is all you need.
Yep.
Is it five grams or five milligrams?
5,000 milligrams?
I think it's five grams.
Yeah, five grams.
But this is why we want the right guy for building out the load stack.
No corners cut.
Yeah.
It's essentially done, by the way.
Anyone's curious about that.
We all have the final version of load stack.
And what's going on right now is we're taking it
to make sure that it's going to be effective
because I don't want to give too much
of the proprietary blend away.
But after I just said the thing about proprietary.
Yeah, you said that and I was like,
I just touched it. this is the case of i i i don't want you going to i don't want you going around and shopping out like every ingredient to the to the product because we took a lot of fucking time and effort
and i was a fucking chemistry set for the last three fucking months taking i send these guys pictures the pills
i take it's double fistfuls of pills i've been taking like doing this thing like it's a snack
if he's hungry before meal meals between meals i should say he takes pills it's like i'm telling
it was it's like eating a softball it's's food. Two dozen pills at a time.
It is not an exaggeration.
Two dozen pills every day is what I have been taking for months.
But he's narrowed it down.
He's made it.
We've narrowed it down.
We removed ingredients that didn't seem effective.
We increased the ingredients that were most effective to the levels that are safe. We're very careful not to go overboard with that because some, you know, selenium, for example, in extra high doses has
negative side effects, but just the right amount, maximum load. In any case, one of the ingredients
was going to require like a separate bottle because it's a gel cap.
And it was like, ah, but maybe we can make this in a powdered form.
And so we had a special, I don't know if lab is the right word,
but we had a manufacturer create a dry version of a wet ingredient,
essentially, so that we could get everything in.
When I say one pill, I don't mean you're only taking one pill but one ninth of your dose is in of everything is in each pill
you take nine nine pills per day all at once they're not horse pills they're regular size
they're very small uh veg vegetable caps uh you know like like
you know if you're familiar with those i mean i've been on it for a few weeks now
and like i've i'm noticing you know holding pattern in the in the cum department so that's
all good news same same and and uh i talked to derek about this like last week and he's like yep
keep using it for a while.
We'll make 100% sure that it's going to be good.
We don't want to put out a shitty product.
And I was like, yep, yep.
It looks good to me.
The bottle's massive.
So that's the other thing.
And that's like a month's supply, isn't it?
It's three.
Wait, nine pills a day?
There's no way that bottle had three months supply.
It's got 180 pills in it
yeah yeah so one month's supply no it's three months nine pills a day
yeah nine times nine nine times 90
wait hold on what are we doing i don't know i'm real sleepy right let's do this
hold on we can do this guys i know we can do it there's nine pills there's 180 in the bottle
every 10 days that's 90 so every 20 days it's 180 every 30 days it's 270
in any case you're gonna get a 20-day supply in there It'll be a bigger bottle or some shit.
I don't know.
I'm sure we're going to do 30-day supplies at least.
But it's a big honking bottle of Phil's.
You take nine at a time.
We'll put it in his freaking pre-workout bottle.
The pre-workout bottle.
That's what I'm going for.
It's like a jug.
Let's fill that thing.
We said we'd we'd make
a fucking load stack and uh we got in business with somebody who likes to make good shit like
we said and um and so it's taking a minute but what we're what we release when it happens which
has got to be soon because i i think we got it nailed with the formula and the label.
The label's funny.
It's going to be a good product.
I think it's going to be priced pretty well too.
I hope so.
It started out as I was serious from the very beginning
about July.
I still get messages
like, that was a joke, right?
I'm like no
i've been working on this for months i and i have been on cum stacks of our own creation for years
at this well not years but like many months like come on amp it up like we're experts here
i want to be 100 honest about it because We were talking about fucking pills somebody's going to be putting in their body.
We've tested them.
Everything that's in there is fucking safe and legal and all that shit.
Of course.
It's really, really effective.
I told the story a few shows ago about coming into condoms and measuring my volume.
about coming into condoms and measuring my volume.
You know, I've taken this about as far as any reasonable or unreasonable human being would.
No, you left Reason long ago.
As soon as I got out the fucking syringes
and started drawing out of used condoms,
I think Reason was in the rear view fucking mirror.
Dude, that's like fucking serial killer shit.
That's some serial killer shit for sure.
But that's what we do for the RSK Nation, all right?
We draw cum out of used condoms with syringes.
Sometimes they weren't even his condoms.
No.
You would go to the park because you need a baseline.
You know, I went back to that episode where Taylor was talking about bug chasing.
Went to all the hot spots.
That all the good ones.
All those paws loads.
All those paws loads.
I want to find more paws loads.
That was one of the most upset.
That was such a great passage. I love that. What site did I even find that on? Fuck. pause load shit that was most upset that was my that was one of the
that was such a great passage i love
that what site did i even find that on fuck
uh wasn't it reddit
no bug chaser
maybe it was a
maybe it was
it was an even better site than uh
dickflash.com
which was it's that's sexual assault
dot com
i haven't checked if that's still up but that's the one where it's like literally guys
like talking about committing crimes.
Like, hey, here's a video of me coming on an unsuspecting Asian woman, by the way, you
know, and then like someone else will comment like, yeah, I recognize that store, San Francisco.
Like, yeah, it's like, what are you making it even easier for people
to catch you doing this what do you what's wrong or the the passages where someone will be like
my my mother-in-law was over and she thought i was just wearing my robe unaware but i stood there
having a conversation with her with my penis out for about five minutes it was thrilling and it's like i put myself in the that poor mother-in-law
who's like this fucking maniac my daughter married is showing me his dick in the kitchen again
on purpose one was a a grandpa who was getting off showing one of his granddaughter's friends
his dick like unexpected like oh i accidentally came out of the shower it's
it's a ghoulish place dickflash.com probably going down any day now since it's just a a log
of people on the sex assault registry app or whatever the fuck that would be called yeah
so we're almost at the end oh did you guys see Trump's taxes got turned over?
Yes.
Nope.
So apparently, I don't know where this is going to go.
But if Trump is guilty, the case is fairly easy to make.
The case is that he claimed his buildings were worth a lot when he wanted to borrow money, but very little when he wanted to pay taxes.
So it's not hard for
the prosecutors to compare his taxes
to his loan applications
and find him guilty.
I've heard it called a paper case where
there is no clever testimony
or anything you can do to... You can't claim
fluctuations in valuation?
I guess it depends on the times there.
If they're the same day, then no.
If they're three weeks apart, then now I'm confused.
I don't know.
Yeah, I think he's okay.
That would be my defense.
I suspect he's super guilty,
but I also feel like there's more than one justice system.
He's rich and he's powerful and nothing will happen, I guess.
Nothing ever seems to.
But I don't know.
It's interesting that his taxes finally got turned over.
So there's two people going after his taxes.
One is the politicians in the House, and they didn't get it.
If they do, what they say on the news is that it'll go public in
minutes. Those guys are leakers.
But who did get it were the
state attorneys
in New York, and they're not
leakers, apparently. So they're not
convinced that you and I will ever
see his taxes because of this.
Fair enough.
Fair enough.
My guess is he'll be A-okay yeah probably rich people usually are
he always has been so yeah i why would you think it'd be different this time man slippery i think
he's got a very bright future i think if if as long as like he doesn't get ill or uh you know
suddenly pass away because he doesn't look like
the healthiest guy i think that trump in the next four years trump is going to do some big things
i i think that that poll said that like nearly 50 of the republican party is willing to jump
ship and be a trump party um powerful that makes him incredibly powerful. He's so old, man, and he's so fat.
We've said it before.
Those years in the 70s.
He might lose weight now that he's...
I would not be surprised if he lost some...
I bet that job was stressful as fuck.
He's good at stress.
I think he's good at putting on a a good a brave face in in the face of stress or whatever like
like like like you know but clearly like he was eating to like deal with some like
some stressors or something through this whole thing maybe the travel maybe like i was gonna say like
how easy it would it was in the white house or to be like go get me this go get me that but he's
had that forever he's always had that like like it's not like he had that diet coke button in
trump tower i mean that would make sense like being under high stress lots of people gain weight
yeah we'll see we'll see i don't know how
unhealthy he was i i might be um he wasn't that fat back in the day might be my bias but i remember
he couldn't drink with one hand anymore when he walked down that ramp at the west point after um
his was it is it called a commencement speech is that what he gave like that, yeah. There were times when he looked really frail.
I didn't fault him for the walking carefully
because the downside to tripping is gargantuan.
And the upside to jogging downstairs is minor.
He walked one foot always in front of the other,
like you'd do if you were hurt yeah
i mean you know he's got his lifts on all the cameras are on him yeah maybe it's hard whenever
i saw him like walking down the steps of maybe it's the capitol building it was whenever like
it was him and melania and ob and Michelle. And they were walking,
I believe down the steps of the Capitol.
And those steps remind me of like the steps from the Joker or the steps from
the exorcist.
If you remember how steep and scary those were,
it's like,
God damn,
it's just like,
they're really falling off and they're really close together.
Like,
like I would be careful going down those stairs. I'm not trying to defend this guy like clearly out of shape not i'm worried i'm
over prosecuting maybe i'm seeing like i'm like i think it's somewhere in the worst moment um
he's no obama he's not he's not fucking like obama could fucking looks athletic especially
in the white house i mean he was playing ball with like you
know nba players not that he's competing or anything but like they're in the they're back
there like having a little fun little game like like running around and he's got cardio and like
20 years older and much much much fatter yeah you know out of shape not an athlete or anything like that but i think i don't think frail i i saw the water
thing that was all the time by the way i think of is like very very thin you know what i i my my
guess like trying to play devil's advocate he's got so much makeup on that like a dribble of water
and he's got a giuliani situation catastrophic I didn't I
never thought of that I thought it was a stabilization thing like he needed like he
could be he shakes or something and two hands fixes it yeah but I was with this stimulants
he did that he supposedly takes two that could make you that makes you real shaky although if he's still
on that cold medicine or whatever and he's that heavy that is incredibly unhealthy because his
heart is always taxed and he's got like it should be upping his metabolism literally by like you
know speeding up the heart rate so he should be like burning he should be losing weight you know
that people take that shit to lose
weight but he's like clearly gained weight in spite of it so you're right it'll be interesting
if he loses a bunch of weight yeah i after the president we'll see i it's my prediction that he
can win the nomination but not the presidency but we'll see you know a lot of it depends every all these uh re-elections are really referendums on the
incumbent so who knows biden's had i think a pretty popular first 30 days whatever he's had
he's got the kids in cages aoc's giving him a lot of flack fair fair he's not winning over the far
left he's gonna get us into his approval ratings
are higher than trump's ever were at any point in his entire four years uh that's the thing so
he's gotten off to a pretty good start but he's got like three years 11 months left let's see
uh you know where this goes no he doesn't he won't be president for all four years i think he's uh this always happens you inherit bad things and good things i think despite trump really doing
a terrible job the first 50 75 of covid the last in the last days of covid it seemed like he finally
got his shit together and the vaccine is rolling out.
Operation Warp Speed or whatever he called it worked very well,
and Biden inherited a cure to COVID-19.
And now he's rolling it out.
They didn't even have the vaccine when I was president.
Yeah, he's rolling it out very effectively.
I saw a statistic the other day that the United States is vaccinating
more. They were like, the United States vaccinated more
people yesterday than Canada
has total.
I think that that's a continue. It happens
every day.
It keeps going up.
I think it's like a million and a half people
a day now. Like 9-10%
of the United States population.
I think in north carolina
specifically someone who's in north carolina resident is one of the 50 patrons and he was
saying that maybe maybe they've opened it up like to to a bigger group of people there already like
you may be able to get it by now um i want that pfizer vaccine. I'll say this.
Guys that are coming with me to Colorado,
you really need to get your fucking vaccine.
You know who I'm talking to specifically.
I love you, man.
I love you.
You're one of my favorite people. You're top 50 human beings I know.
Okay?
Please don't be anti-vax.
I don't
even... I'll still go
on the trip with you, but if somebody else
objects, then I don't know what I'm supposed to do.
You have to tell me who it is.
I'll write it.
Oh, I didn't...
He says he's young. He's healthy. doesn't get those things he is young and healthy
that he doesn't trust the vaccine and i'm just like yeah but we're all gonna be in a house
together and yeah we're gonna you'll stay in the house the whole time though yeah but i don't know
what if he has it he brings it in i don't care because I'm going to have the vaccine.
So I guess I don't care now that I think about it.
Now that I reevaluate the situation.
At first, I was like, no, we all need to be vaccinated.
But as long as I'm vaccinated.
That's the cool part about the vaccine compared to a mask, right?
I need you to wear a mask.
So I'm safe.
Apparently, that's how it works.
Yeah, but I need me to get a vaccine. So I'm safe, Apparently that's how it works. Yeah. But I need me to get a vaccine.
So I'm safe,
which puts it on me,
which is where I want it.
Agreed.
A hundred percent.
Yeah.
I guess now,
now that I've thought about it a little more,
I guess I just don't get,
I don't give a shit if he vaccinates or not.
I mean,
for his own health,
he should,
but if he doesn't trust the vaccine,
he thinks he's young and healthy,
which is very true. A lot of people that don't trust the vaccine like the j and j one more
it's built on traditional tech it's one dose and it's approved now maybe he'll like that one i
doubt our boy likes flu shots so like okay but but i'm getting in line i'm i'm getting the fucking
shot i'm pretty autistic already so what's the worst that could happen?
I might go back the other
way and be able to have interpersonal
relationships again and
not count every square that's
in a room. I'm going to use
that line. Maybe it'll
cure my autism.
Yeah.
It made me so autistic that it
came back around the other way
and now I'm able to... If I get this vaccine and don't
have the same meals two times
a day for life, that'd be something.
It's like the Jim Gaffigan joke
where he's like, he's so fat he wants to eat his way
through to the other side.
Just circle around.
But anyway,
you guys want to call it a show? I am hungry.
Yeah.
PKA 532
no outros? No sir
well cool