Painkiller Already - PKA 532 Lock and Load Update, Scam Calls, Lady Gaga's Dogs

Episode Date: March 2, 2021

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Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 Pink you're already episode 532 Taylor this episode of PK is brought to you by blue chew and smart mouth two very familiar names we'll talk more about them later so Kyle you had some harsh words for a certain morbidly obese quitter I'll call him a quitter yeah who never gets anything done she got right she didn't quit oh we're not talking about gina carano no no i'm talking about george rr wait you're not talking about wings just a list fat people who got fired no this guy didn't even get fired he just failed entirely he was even worse than getting fired i hope he dies today that's a distinct possibility look that's the best photo they could find of him i guarantee
Starting point is 00:00:46 that's like game he picks that photo that's a selfie he's going and take it fuck that guy fuck that actually all right let me let me show the photo let me pull that back a little it's laziness he finished what was it The first book was finished in the early or to mid-90s. Does that sound right? Like 96? I don't want to get the numbers wrong. I don't remember. It was in the 90s.
Starting point is 00:01:12 The thing is, I don't care anymore because my suspicions are that the show ended the way he wanted it to end and that what we really missed out on was a little more character development to make it all make a little more sense but i still don't care because if you're going to end it that way fuck you fuck you for writing a bad book fuck you for having all these like wonderful ways it could have gone
Starting point is 00:01:37 when you look at like the fan theory youtube channels for uh game of thrones and see the stuff that they were thinking up it's, get these guys a fucking typewriter. They'll finish this shit. Let one of them write their alternate version of how this shit should have gone. I would pay serious money. I'll sign up for Paramount Plus, whatever the fuck you want me to do.
Starting point is 00:01:58 They'd actually fix this shit. Yeah, you don't know what Paramount... Oh, Paramount Plus is a streaming service that it's like, stop trying to make Paramount Plus happen. It's not going to happen, except it's apparently going to happen. They're getting the Halo series, live action Halo TV series. Does anybody care about that anymore? Yes, very much so.
Starting point is 00:02:20 And they were advertising the fuck out of it during the Super Bowl. Like they must have spent, I don't know, what's a Super Bowl spot? Cost $10, $12 million? They must have rolled six or seven. Yeah, I think so. Well, you'd know better than me, but I thought it was. They're running two-minute thematic spots during the. Five minutes at a time, yeah.
Starting point is 00:02:40 Five minutes at a time, normal. But who knows what it was this year. I thought their rates actually went down a little bit from their peak because their ratings struggled a bit right 5.6 million would be a good estimate for a 30 second spot i don't know what you said yeah well then if that was the minute spot you were pretty much spot on well in any case um yeah back to george martin the the the headline here is that george.R. Martin is bringing Roger Zelazny's fantasy novel to HBO. Apparently this is a novel penned in 1979 about a road that travels through time. And it's like...
Starting point is 00:03:15 Time road. It's like, dude, if you have time to... I'm guessing he's a producer or something like that. Showrunner. I don't know what his title is going to be. What his thing is going to be for this why is he bringing someone else's novel to hbo doesn't quite make a lot of sense to me because he was clearly not involved enough to like save his last project which is his book yeah uh so like look if you've got time for that then i've
Starting point is 00:03:41 completely lost all faith in you because i was one of those people who was like, look, if it takes him, maybe he dies writing the last two books, but that might actually be better than him rushing through them and cementing shit down. Right? Tolkien has unfinished novels. Nobody
Starting point is 00:03:59 minds that much. He finished the big one. Yeah, but he didn't finish the sequel so listen to the dates on the game of thrones releases right so listeners like this number's coming at you 96 98 2000 2011 right it was like two years two years two years 11 years and now we're 10 years and counting what wait no there's five books uh not on my screen they erased the winds of winter no more when they literally did hold on let me do it again i think winds winds of winter when did that come out uh that came out? That came out...
Starting point is 00:04:45 Oh, will Winds of Winter ever be released? It's not out. Never mind. Sorry. Okay. I thought it was. It's been so long. I've almost like a trauma victim excised so much Game of Thrones from my head. And I am happy to see how nobody...
Starting point is 00:05:03 I guess we're just proving this right now talking about it, but nobody talks about it at all. It could have been a really big cultural thing that people referenced. And it ended so cataclysmically that like everybody agreed like this was just something we don't talk about anymore. This is going to be like lost. We just don't talk about it. So, yeah, this guy will die not writing his last two books. I think that as soon as he started getting fucked regularly
Starting point is 00:05:27 and had a nice house and money, he did not care what happened to John or the rest of the gang. I hope a crazed fan kills him. I hope somebody who's very upset with what happened just fucking takes him out. You know, maybe a Kathy Bates-style fan will get a hold of him and be like,
Starting point is 00:05:44 write the fucking book is that the woman from Misery yeah the woman from Misery you need Kathy Bates in Misery there she would amp him up I want actual Kathy Bates he would turn the manuscript in and she'd be sitting there like
Starting point is 00:05:58 like the movie and then go Arya kills the Night King Arya kills the Night King? Arya kills? Do you not remember from the first book? You remember in Misery where she's referencing all the things and she knows so much. You're going to have Arya do it? Begin again! Smack his broken leg.
Starting point is 00:06:16 Taylor, I'm almost half a century old and this is the best idea I've heard so far. I'm loving this. This is a good one. Not so much an idea as a. I'm loving this. This is a good one. Not so much an idea as like a crime of this person is committing.
Starting point is 00:06:30 It's not as much as a crime that Kathy Bates movie mystery is committing. If you're listening to this, don't do that. Don't do anything. Don't do it.
Starting point is 00:06:40 Don't kidnap George R.R. Martin. Don't do it. Don't tie him to a bed and torture him into fixing one of the greatest pieces of fantasy literature ever penned don't do that but if you do
Starting point is 00:06:56 have him go back and edit out the whole Sand Snake thing so that can never happen again we don't even know if that's in the books is that in the books? if it is it was referenced not that much you know i uh i didn't actually read the most recent book i think i'm like four books in i didn't i don't think i i think that the bad shit started happening around like i don't remember what slowed me down and maybe not read the fifth book but they're probably knowing he wasn't going to release it in forever and there's no rush. I don't remember what my mindset
Starting point is 00:07:26 was at the time. Prison may have popped up into my life. It was a slog to get through this. I did listen to all the books. There were times when I was kind of multitasking and stuff. I don't know if I could pass
Starting point is 00:07:41 a test on them, but I did sit through them all. I don't remember the Sand Snakes being a significant part of it. No, it was more the show that did that. But you're right. It is so weird that they would bring, that George R.R. Martin would still be involved at this point. Like, what credibility is his name bringing? Like, if anything, when people hear about him, they're like, oh yeah, the guy who didn't finish the Game of Thrones book and totally shit the bed with nothing but opportunity. But in fairness, no, no, wait.
Starting point is 00:08:10 The two David Benny, the two David guys. They often call. Yeah, they were the ones who ultimately shut it down. But I'm pretty sure we found out a while back when this first happened that George R.R. Martin signed off on that. Like, yeah, sure, we can we can knock this out in eight more episodes like i think you're right george rr martin probably could have had the sway you know as the guy who wrote the fucking books to be like oh no sorry you know dnd or whatever you're gonna have to go an extra season i would prefer three but you got to do this and an extra one like he had that sway he wrote the fucking books he just didn't care
Starting point is 00:08:42 i don't want to talk about this anymore it's's pissing me off. I'm actually more upset about it than I thought I would be. I really am upset about it. That was a great story. It bothers me so much. I remember planning to buy the DVD box set
Starting point is 00:09:01 for my father and thinking about what a great gift this is going to be for him. I showed him Battle of the Bastards one night at my house. I was like, because I was always talking about the show, how good it was. I'm like, hey, come in here.
Starting point is 00:09:16 Come in my bedroom. Let's sit down. Let me show you one episode of this TV show that I watch. I was like, keep in mind, this is a tv show and i we get like five minutes and i'm like all right so here's the setup that guy has kidnapped that guy's little brother been holding him hostage for like two fucking years he raped that guy's sister after he forced her into a marriage she's she's now all messed up. He skins people alive. Oh, and by the way, that castle
Starting point is 00:09:47 that he's coming out of, that's this guy's ancestral home. And he's showing up with all of his friends from the north, but they're outnumbered three to one. But he's showing up to fight anyway, because it's the right thing to do. He could have stayed up there. And I lay it all out for him, and we watch it, and he was like, well, this is a hell of a show. He's like, this is like a movie. This is like a movie. He's like, were those real horses?
Starting point is 00:10:13 I was like, yeah, they were real horses. Wow. He's like, that reminded me of Braveheart. I'm like, exactly. That's what we compare it to. It's just like Braveheart with the horses. And then I was thinking, oh, he's going to love it when I hand him this box set of Blu-rays
Starting point is 00:10:29 with the full thing on there. And now I'm just like, he brought it up a few months ago when he was here. And I was like, ah, they ruined it. They ruined it at the end. I was like, they just decided nothing they had written mattered and they wanted to wrap it up
Starting point is 00:10:44 so they could make some more money on a different job and they just decided nothing they had written mattered, and they wanted to wrap it up so they could make some more money on a different job, and they just ruined it. It's still a good gift. Just give it to them on April Fool's Day. Yeah, right? Like, I don't fucking, I'll buy them the Sopranos again, but this one's Blu-ray this time instead of DVD. It'd be a much better gift.
Starting point is 00:11:00 Yeah, Sopranos. Fuck that show. So I got a completely different story that's fascinating to me. This happened today. Lady Gaga's dog walker was shot in the chest and the shooter stole her two French
Starting point is 00:11:13 bulldogs and dog napped them. She has put out some massive reward for the return of her dogs. The dog walker lived. He's recovering in a hospital from his gunshot wound. But she's put out like a six-figure reward
Starting point is 00:11:31 for her fucking French bulldogs. He gets half a million. Yeah, I think it's like half a million dollars. Half a million dollar reward for dogs stolen. So if anyone has seen Cruella de Vil, you want to contact Lady Gaga. She will hook you up with half a million dollars. You can go ahead and pump that right into GME, make a cool five, six million by the end of the month.
Starting point is 00:11:55 Here's a video from 10 hours ago. It says Lady Gaga's dog, Asia, gets rescued by the LAPD. So maybe one of them has been found. But there's still a quarter mil on the table, folks. It's not bad. Based on this video. It doesn't say Asia and Africa got rescued. Just Asia. I wonder if...
Starting point is 00:12:13 Is anyone going to get a quarter mil for that? Dude, I could find a lookalike. You know someone's out there right now. This could be its own movie. They're looking for... They're going to the pound, looking for the like, no, no.
Starting point is 00:12:29 If we dye this one, if we put a little shoe polish. A little shoe polish. Well, her dog's kind of squinty-eyed. All right. Pow! Yeah, kind of like this. Yep, just like that. hers actually got a limp well oh my beer
Starting point is 00:12:50 yeah i somebody's doing that there's a movie where that happened it might have been um seven psychopaths with christopher walken or whatever that movie is i think they do something like that but uh but yeah that's a wild ass story, right? Yeah. I mean, and to shoot somebody over the dogs. I don't know. Nobody knows yet. Maybe it was revenge based. Maybe Lady Gaga. Maybe it was a random crime.
Starting point is 00:13:14 Maybe it was like, maybe he got an argument with the dog walker, shot him, and then didn't actually steal the dogs, but they just ran off. And he was trying to kill the dog walker all along. And the dogs were the only witnesses to the crime. So he kidnapped them so they couldn't testify. Yeah, that's retarded. I'm not going to say nothing, balls. Just let me
Starting point is 00:13:38 go. I won't say anything. Right under that story was a gif of Lady Gaga showing her bush while on stage. She's like pulling her panties. I'm like, yeah, here's my pussy. I was like, how does this make it to the front page right alongside the dog kidnapper? They're trying to get attention for the dog story.
Starting point is 00:13:56 They want people to care enough to go find those pups. Good God. That is a huge amount of money. I thought you were going to say that's a huge amount of hair. Yeah, I mean, she does need to tend to that. It's a little much. I'm sure it is a huge amount of hair. I thought you were going to say that's a huge amount of hair. Yeah, I mean, she does need to tend to that. It's a little much. I'm sure it is a huge amount of hair. I haven't seen it.
Starting point is 00:14:09 It was a little more than I would have liked. That's a ridiculous level of wealth to just immediately be able to be like, half a million dollars, bring my dog back. Did she intentionally flash it? Yeah, yeah. She pulls the top of her... She pulls her dress up.
Starting point is 00:14:23 She pulls the panties down she's like yeah here's my bush hmm is the i i binged it and i'm the first ones that come up look like they could be look like if she claimed it was accidental i couldn't prove her wrong well i mean she's done like nude stuff before like completely nude videos and stuff like with like close-ups of her vagina so isn't most of that shit scripted like when it stuff like with like close-ups of her vagina so isn't most of that shit scripted like when it was like oh britney got out of the limo and like spread her legs in a way that people never get up scripted i've heard stuff before where it's like oh a lot of celebrities do things like that but i can also see that being nonsense and like some
Starting point is 00:15:00 scumbag paparazzi's like no they wanted us to take a picture of her snatch she was it was right there hidden it was right there barely visible if i wore a short skirt i'd be flashing my testicles accidentally all the time that's how i get out of a chair that's how i get on a motorcycle that's how i get like i separate my knees sometimes it's like the office episode jesus meredith where are your panties why are you why are you clubbing with no panties if you're a celebrity and you're like getting out of your fucking mercedes like you're delivering a baby like like i agree with taylor i think this is like a single spot position it was very calculated because there was that period of time where it's like oh this person's
Starting point is 00:15:43 got a sex tape now this person's got a sex tape now this one's this person says oh this person flashed their cunt oh now now this person now that person it was like it went over for a couple of these now some like emma watson for example she was wearing panties they were kind of i don't like bringing that one up i'm not sure how old she was during that i can neither i i don't know that i saw or know what you're referring to are you talking about the harry potter girl yeah i thought she was in her 20s i've never heard about this controversy was it like a britney spears style thing because everybody that's like i'm told that she was wearing semi-transparent panties and someone used a flashbulb through the window of her limo while she's just sitting pretty ladylike and managed to like see through her panties and see the top of her pubic hair.
Starting point is 00:16:33 Classic example of celebrities seeking attention. Yeah. This, this was different. She was probably like, Hey, creepy guy, bring that flashbulb over here.
Starting point is 00:16:42 Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Well that one seems like it was uh probably yeah this wasn't kim kardashian literally just making a porno oh it's weird your link didn't work on my end either so you can see i didn't realize her knees are completely together in this that oh and she's also 18
Starting point is 00:17:07 According to this thing I don't need websites, but Kyle seems to think she might not be I I don't want to know okay That's actually younger than I thought I thought she was in her 20s i don't know where he got that i know she's well she's fresh out of hogwarts there okay yeah i'm pretty sure those movies ended when they were like harry you're you're almost ready to finish your fifth year and it's like a 31 year old man no they were age appropriate they really were because like 12 no they like timed it pretty perfectly with the casting of those kids like like No, they were age appropriate. They really were because like... How many years were you in school? 12? No, they like timed it pretty perfectly
Starting point is 00:17:48 with the casting of those kids. Like they're supposed to begin as like eight-year-olds and finish as like 16, 17-year-olds. And that's what they did. No, they were way older than 16, 17 by the end. I don't think so. I'm saying this as an almost guess. I do
Starting point is 00:18:08 remember it started off and it was like, damn, Harry does look like a little kid. That sounds unbelievable to me, but it's not smart to go against Kyle in matters of media. They may have been a couple years older. They might have been 19, but they weren't 22 or anything playing a 15-year-old.
Starting point is 00:18:24 Is Tom Holland Spider-, um, is Tom Holland Spider-Man's name? Tom Holland? Tom Holland. Yeah. That guy's, he's pretty old, right? Too old to be playing a high school student. Uh, he is, oh, 24, which is younger than I thought.
Starting point is 00:18:41 Yeah. Maybe an Alabama high school student. What are some examples of movies, and I just just found a list we'll see if any are good where actors were playing someone either way too old or way too young for who they were supposed to be playing and it sucked you out of it I'm trying to find a good one mine is going to be Tobey Maguire being...
Starting point is 00:19:09 I guess Spider-Man 3 pretending to be a teenager at 32. But he looks young. Yeah, he can pull it off, honestly. Steve Carell in Get Smart. What a terrible list! It's almost like these listicles have no thought behind them. One from this century, man. Okay, well, Screen Rant, more in a view to kill one from this century man okay well screen rant fuck you you're i'm getting close low budget movies are really bad at that because their casting choices are so limited um i was watching some stuff on best of the worst
Starting point is 00:19:40 the other day and i think it was april fool's day i have two maybe but like these guys are playing like high school students and they are legitimately in their late 30s early 40s so this is an old movie greece but it might be classic enough that people have seen it. Rizzo was 33 years old, that actress. And she looked it. She looked 33, too. She didn't look like a high school chick at all. She's got wrinkles. She just didn't belong in Greece.
Starting point is 00:20:18 I got chills. They're multiplying. I forget one of my kids. It's a great soundtrack. I think it was Hope. It was just all about that movie. Every song they sing is about fucking. Is it really?
Starting point is 00:20:32 Every single song in Grease is about sex. The one's clearly about a car. The Grease Lightning one? Yeah. Every song's about sex. You might be right I promise you not smart to go against Kyle and Max
Starting point is 00:20:49 this is not just like no no I know factually this is a known thing that like every song in Grease is about sex because the whole movie's about sex you haven't seen it it's a real classic I love the fan theory that travolta
Starting point is 00:21:05 and uh what's her name are dead at the end and that's them riding off to heaven um because you know they they uh they died in the car accident or they drowned or whatever fuck i i've only seen it like maybe once all the way through and i was a kid but um i don't know i watch stuff about movies uh and i like travolta. I love young Travolta. He looks great in that movie. What's Travolta's best movie? Travolta's best movie? Pulp Fiction
Starting point is 00:21:34 was his resurgence. That was him coming back and reestablishing himself after years of being on a real downswing a lot of people like urban cowboy that's when he's in his like physical attractiveness prime i think um greece is right there too uh it's probably four or five years prior but um
Starting point is 00:21:58 i mean he did so much cheesy schlock. Like, if you look at, like, Face Off with Nicolas Cage, where they swap faces. Broken Arrow was the next one I was going to mention. I like that movie more than other people, I think. I enjoyed that. Christian Bale. Is that his name? Christian Bateman?
Starting point is 00:22:22 Christian Bale, I think. No. No? No, it's it's uh it's christian slater yes you're right okay yeah he always looks very squinty eyed like he's trying to focus on you yeah yeah very yeah that's christian slater uh who i like more than i should uh and uh but yeah that's an okay little action film. I'm probably not remembering some of his better stuff. He made a movie last year, I think, where he's a mentally retarded man who's obsessed with this Hollywood actor.
Starting point is 00:22:59 And he's like... There's this part where like it's low budget and there's, and he's got like, he's got a wig on cause he's been bald for many years and he's wearing this retard wig. That's like awful. And, uh, there's this part where he's like having like a little rant, like all alone. And he's like, blah, blah, blah. Say something. Say something stupid. Like,
Starting point is 00:23:27 like it's clear that he was like, they were just rolling. Right. They're just keeping the camera going on him. And he's, he's trying to like say things that he was literally trying to think of something stupid to say, but they left in a part where he's like,
Starting point is 00:23:43 say something stupid. And like, like, like he He's trying to pump himself up to say stupid things, and in his mind, there are professional filmmakers at work here. They're going to take this... I like how Game of Thrones ended. Yeah, it's like, roll on me for ten minutes, I'm going to fucking lose my
Starting point is 00:24:00 shit and freak out. Edit it down to eight seconds of the best part, like you'll have like a real good performance it is one of the worst films ever fucking and what is it called oh shit but google christian john travolta retarded movie you'll get it um there's a part so i'm gonna spoil it because no one should ever watch this movie oh he looks hilarious yeah he looks hilarious his name his character's name is moose i think um so like he's obsessed with this hollywood actor this this fictional hollywood actor he goes to the guy's
Starting point is 00:24:35 book signing and they they do that thing where the guy's like all out of time and not gonna sign john travolta shit and john travolta's like following him outside he's like i have all of your vhs's and and i have them on dvd and blu-ray as well and i have this and that and he's like buddy buddy like i said inside we're all fucking done here all right you want to get fucked up he's like no sir no please don't fuck me up like at the very end john travolta goes to the guy's house accidentally kills his maid like literally like gets in like a struggle with her outside because he's trespassing and kills her like she falls hits her head on a on a fountain and like boom dead and then he like sneaks into the guy's house knocks him out ties him to the bed and so the actor's tied to a bed in a dark bedroom. And he's like, what the fuck is going on?
Starting point is 00:25:26 I think I'm watching this scene right now. John Travolta walks in wearing a hockey mask with a knife. And the guy's like, Oh God, Oh God, Oh God. And he goes, and it's a fake knife.
Starting point is 00:25:38 It's a movie prop knife. And he like pops the mask up. He's like, Oh, I got you. You were, you were, that was a good performance,
Starting point is 00:25:43 huh? I scared you real good. And he's like, yeah, man, that was a good one. He's like oh i got you you were you that was a good performance huh i scared you real good and he's like yeah man that was a good one he's like hey untie me and i'll sign anything you want you know i got some limited edition memorabilia in the back we'll we'll wheel it out so john travolta is retarded so of course he believes this little ruse and unties the guy the guy like reaches above the bed like into blackness like like he just goes like imagine you're looking at me right now and i just do this and come back with a gun like gun and he goes he blows like half of john travolta's hand off or something like that and then they get into a fight and he's got a real knife now.
Starting point is 00:26:26 And there's a part where John Travolta is on his back and he stabs John Travolta's eye out. And, uh, and so now John Travolta is like missing finger or two and his eye is gouged out. And the guy just opens the door. Like he's letting a prostitute out and he,
Starting point is 00:26:42 John Travolta walks out in shame. Then the murder of the maid gets blamed on the actor. And that's the end of the movie. He's letting a prostitute out and John Travolta walks out in shame. Then the murder of the maid gets blamed on the actor and that's the end of the movie. It is outrageously bad. One of the worst movies ever made. What you have to consider is you have competent people
Starting point is 00:26:59 with decent funding making this. Does John Travolta have friends throughout the movie he has one friend it's a young girl who lets him walk around with that haircut she does not only that but she's like helping him find the celebrities he's like how do you find where celebrities live and she's just like well he's one of these star maps silly that's how we know where they live but don't go getting into trouble. And it's like, you just gave a retarded man a treasure map to a fucking celebrity's house
Starting point is 00:27:30 that he's obsessed with. What do you think is going to happen, you dumbass? His finger's blown off. He's going to go fucking... There's this part where the celebrity's asleep in his easy chair in his living room and John Travolta's in the room with him, like touching his face and like sniffing him like he sneaks in and he has a camera and he goes to
Starting point is 00:27:51 the celebrity and he gives the celebrity a kiss on top of the head while he's taking a picture of himself and it's and he's posting those to social media like he's tweeting that shit out which makes no sense because like you don't have to be any kind of celebrity. Like, look, if I snuck into Woody's house, kissed him on the top of the head while he was asleep, took a picture and then tweeted it out, he would know about it 10 minutes from then. He would know about it as soon as he awoke. He would have messages. This guy is supposed to be like i don't know like a tom cruise level actor or something like that people are gonna be ringing his phone off the
Starting point is 00:28:30 fucking hook if a retarded man is taking pictures of uh kissing him in the top of the head while he's clearly unconscious how many followers or friends or whatever does this guy have it just could be in the ether some it doesn't't. You know it doesn't matter, though. Like, take a guy who has, like, one follower or, like, five and have him tweet a picture of him kissing Tom Cruise on the head, like, in Tom Cruise's house when Tom Cruise is clearly unconscious. It's going to get to Tom Cruise within an hour. Okay, that's fair. Like, somewhat the Scientology people are going to be fucking
Starting point is 00:29:03 ringing his phone up. They're going to show up. They're not even gonna bother calling. They're on the way. It's just, it's just an absurd film. It's awful. You don't recommend it.
Starting point is 00:29:11 That might be John Travolta's worst film. And that is saying something. He's been in some real stinkers. Well, you know, like, like, and he doesn't have an excuse really for being in the stinkers.
Starting point is 00:29:24 Like, like he's, uh, he, he's fairly the stinkers like like he's uh he he's fairly wealthy you know he's he's that guy who he owns his own 747 i believe uh he flies it himself like he has like a an airport essentially at his house with like multiple aircraft he had some kind of a tragedy last year where i i don't know if his wife died or his child died or maybe both i think his wife died of like cancer like and then the next year maybe his child died tragically in some way i don't recall the exact details like maybe yeah his wife died this past year yeah it's been a rough go for him and then of course he had that whole thing where he was groping those men um that came out
Starting point is 00:30:05 maybe four or five years ago but did that ever go anywhere right up their thigh i'm told ah but then but the people doing the the nutsack rubbing did they get paid out or anything or yeah probably but nothing publicly really happened. There were no real ramifications. I think that's the only way you can like me to somebody and not get in trouble is if it's an adult man who is not in like a position of where he doesn't have power, then you can almost, you can still get away with it. If he had groped a female masseuse or uh a a black masseuse maybe like but he he groped like an adult white man who was just like fucking john travolta's always grabbing my balls when i'm giving him a rub down i'm kind of tired of this and they're like down with the patriarchy get out
Starting point is 00:31:00 of here you masseuse anduse. Nobody seemed to care. Yeah. Well, I certainly didn't. Didn't care a bit. I think that, you know, look, I like Pulp Fiction, and he did make a decent movie like a handful of years ago, From Paris with Love. Did you see that?
Starting point is 00:31:22 I did not see that. From Paris with Love. I can't remember the names of the rest of the actors, but the guy who plays opposite John Travolta is decent. Essentially, you got some sort of ambassador's aide in France. He's the US ambassador's aide, and he ends up on a secret spy mission accompanying John Travolta, who's like a U.S. government agent who's been sent in to fix some shit. And it's pretty fucking good. Like John Travolta's character is so over the top that he's kind of cool. He's like he's just having this huge argument in that they're coming through customs with his like bang energy drinks or whatever they're called they had some kind of ridiculous name and uh and finally like
Starting point is 00:32:09 they get them through customs and the guy's like why are you so obsessed with this fucking energy drinks i could have got you an espresso or you know some local shit and he's like i don't give a fuck about these energy drinks man and he like unscrews them and he's got pieces of a gun that he's slowly putting together like in the car and he's like i have guns he's like yeahs them and he's got pieces of a gun that he's slowly putting together, like in the car. And he's like, I have guns. He's like, yeah,
Starting point is 00:32:28 but me and Mrs. Jones, we got a thing going on. He's like got cool little quips throughout the movie like that. And he's just kind of a bad-ass. He just gets in. Mrs. Jones.
Starting point is 00:32:37 Yeah. The gun's got a name. Yeah. The gun's got a name. Mrs. Jones. Well, it's a,
Starting point is 00:32:42 it's a reference. Me and Agatha really like to tear it up better yeah agatha is better that sounds like a witch yeah but there's not a song about me and mrs jones and how we got a thing going on is that a song yeah there's lots of songs written about women named agatha well in any case it's a good movie movie. He even rolls out the old Royale with cheese kind of thing because they're in France. Someone walks up very spy-like, sort of walks up with a bag and puts it next to him.
Starting point is 00:33:17 And the other guy's like, what's that? He's like, ah, this is a little something. Around here they call this a Royale with cheese. It's like he was just having a burger delivered. that one's okay that one's okay it's worth watch did you see the uh the news on the south dakota attorney general no what happened i do not know so i don't even know if he's republican or democrat it's not meant to be a political thing but it's funny to me so south dakota attorney general says he had no idea that he ran over a person with his car he's like i thought it was a deer until the next day
Starting point is 00:33:50 they found the victim's glasses inside the guy's car and he's still playing dumb he's still like you know what i uh glasses are in the car huh i didn't notice those till you showed them to me just now here in the interrogation room yeah this fucker ran over a man the man's face slammed into the front windshield and somehow the glasses of the victim got inside the attorney's car and like two bloody handprints on the he's claiming he thinks it's a deer and i guess he just never stopped never checked into it never investigated nothing just drove on hoping to say you know i thought it was a deer thing at least like if you're gonna break the law there you just smacked into that guy apparently he's not dead if you're trying to get away with it i don't know
Starting point is 00:34:43 about that i think he killed him did the guy die oh well then if he killed the guy then like and he was trying to get away with it he should have definitely taken the body put it in his trunk right like taking all the evidence because like there must have been a camera right how else would they have caught him did they find like the license the guy was almost certainly drunk when this happened, or he was in some other embarrassing situation. He had a prostitute with him. He had a boy with him. He had a girl with him.
Starting point is 00:35:14 He was drunk. He was on drugs. He was doing something he shouldn't have been doing, and this really complicated thing, so he couldn't come forward. Yeah, it's kind of a classic movie setup really interesting he said i bet he didn't kill nearly as many people as cuomo though we're talking about uh politicians fucking taking people out i think it's funny like something they were like sub mr south dakota attorney general you didn't strike mr johnson it's like
Starting point is 00:35:42 no well here's some glasses and a pair of underwear with Mr. Johnson and his address written on the back. It's like, what do you think this proves? I know the law. And it's like, what would he do? Like, he would have to know better than anyone. Like, ah, I am going to prison. Unless I was on Epstein's Island and I got dirt on someone,
Starting point is 00:36:02 I'm going to jail. Can I give myself a plea deal? Is that how that works? I am the attorney, Joe. In my head, I'm like, he's an attorney. Attorneys are so knowledgeable about the law that they don't foul up. If they said, Woody, we know you hit this guy. We have this guy's glasses in your car.
Starting point is 00:36:20 The gig is up. The gig is up. The jig is up. Whatever it is, it's up. You're doomed. I'd be is it's up you're doomed i'd be like yeah you're right you got me probably you didn't ask me my miranda rights that's like a magic the gathering combo i go i go free yeah but this when i was in the police station they were like well this this this and that and i was like oh that's all very interesting lawyer well but there's there's this thing here where this this that and that and the other i'm
Starting point is 00:36:50 like yeah yeah i understand that lawyer you think we're gonna have a conversation here you think you could be like buddy buddy with me right now you think because you brought me a snickers i'm gonna start talking to you about what just happened he did he comes out with like a pot leaf was still in his car cop outfit pot leaf do rag on i just i know all these other cops are carays he's dressed like frizzed mike from the office with a purple bandana man the rest of these motherfucking cops are squares y'all rubbing shoulders with you hey man i got i got a little gummy for you right here These motherfucking cops are squares, y'all. Right? Rubbing shoulders with you.
Starting point is 00:37:29 Hey, man, I got a little gummy for you right here. I'm going to take a pot gummy out of the hand of a cop at a police station. Yeah. That would be funny. Even the local cops were like, I was like, hypothetically, if there is marijuana in that bag, when the warrant gets here, what are they going to do to whoever it is? What are you going to do to that guy at the train station that threw this at me violently and said,
Starting point is 00:37:57 hold on to this until I get back? I literally said that. I was like, hypothetically, if there is some sort of marijuana in that bag, God forbid, what are you going to do to the guy who's marijuana? It actually is when you find him. Ah, probably not much of anything. You know, like the local cop was like,
Starting point is 00:38:21 ah, fine, maybe some community service. Did he believe that or was he playing you? He won't be worrying about it no more. No. It was when things just kept escalating. You know, like if I could have dealt with the local police,
Starting point is 00:38:38 I'd have gotten a fine and some community service. But the thing just kept escalating until I was in a u.s federal district courtroom so you think that the guy who said maybe just to find no big deal wasn't playing you he was no no i know that guy like like i like i actually know him um like like like i've had dealings with him before like like he knows me like like he knows my family like like i i'd see him out and be like hey what's up your name and hey what's going on
Starting point is 00:39:14 yeah so he wasn't trying to fool you he was a local guy who genuinely thought ah it's not going to be the end of the world yeah because when he normally catches someone with half an ounce of marijuana they don't go to federal prison no certainly not you're you're a vip i'm a vip yeah very imprisoned person i was one step behind you there i was i was my brain was going usually when like an acronym gets set. It's like, there's gotta be something fun.
Starting point is 00:39:47 Oh fuck. That's the moment's best. You were saying something about Cuomo, Kyle. What do you, what do you got? All right. So this is one of those things where like,
Starting point is 00:39:54 uh, I've just heard the periphery of what happened. So I'm hoping that you've got the nitty gritty, but I'll lay out my, uh, my ignorant, uh, uh,
Starting point is 00:40:02 part. And then maybe you can correct me some. It seems to me that on the nursing home thing he did something or another and some people in nursing homes died because of stuff cuomo did and then today or yesterday i heard that he's now accused of sexual assault some sort of a female intern like position yeah so i'll do my best and this is an issue where i found it hard to get like facts with confidence but it seems that there was a time when hospitals were kind of full and nursing homes were kind of sick and there was a decision to be made and he let sick people go from
Starting point is 00:40:38 hospitals to nursing homes and that turned out to be a bad call more people died in nursing homes than perhaps they would have if they stayed in hospitals or vice versa right like but it i think it's generally agreed upon that he made the wrong call with regards to like how to quarantine elderly people with covid and where all right um now they didn't miscount the number of COVID deaths, but they did miscategorize them. So, like, if someone's in a nursing home and they get sick and they almost die and then they spend their last 20 minutes in the hospital, is that a nursing home death or a hospital death? Right? You could perhaps ask that question. And now, here's where I find it hard.
Starting point is 00:41:22 Was there an intent to that miscategorization? Was he trying to cover for perhaps his bad decision on where elderly people go? Or, you know, this is just an imperfect world where sometimes you get stuff wrong. So that, I think, is the nursing home thing. Made a bad decision, possibly tried to cover the impact of it by reclassifying nursing home as hospital or vice versa. Now, the sexual assault thing, dude, I have a weakness for this stuff. I don't know what's true and what's not.
Starting point is 00:41:55 When the Cosby stuff came out, everyone in the world instantly knew it was all legit, except me. I'm like, yeah, Hollywood guys get blasted with, you know, sometimes a dozen things at once. But he had like 80. He did have a lot. All right, maybe that's not a great example.
Starting point is 00:42:12 But like the Trump stuff, there are a lot of people who write off his sexual assault accusations as false money gold diggers. That's not a perfect term, but work with me. They're just guys guys are trying to sue and take advantage of his position and get some of his money. Kevin Spacey, there was a whole Me Too thing.
Starting point is 00:42:33 Kevin Spacey didn't do anything. There was a whole Me Too thing where people seemed to know which ones were real and which ones weren't real, and I always don't. I can always tell. The people I don't like did it. I'm still not were real and which ones weren't real and I always don't. I can always tell. The people I don't like did it. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:42:49 As far as I know, Cuomo has one accusation and I think it's that he kissed a woman on the lips. Does that sound right? Without asking for permission or anything? Hot. I have no idea. I don't know. I wonder if his brother's gonna talk about this. Dude, so... On CNN.
Starting point is 00:43:06 Hey, bro, digital high five. What do tits feel like? This is journalism. Two brothers talking. Neat. He's been accused of sexual harassment by a former advisor, and it's an unwanted kiss and touching. I'm curious about the touching night there's a
Starting point is 00:43:26 lot of different kinds of touching right all the way from like almost in his defense like she was my advisor and she advised me to take risks and that's what i did so if anything um he pushed me out of it yeah touching is not descriptive enough for me but um yeah. So unwanted kiss and some touching. I'm guessing that means boob. Maybe. I don't think he'd be accused of touching if it was deltoid. He could be like grabbing some ass.
Starting point is 00:43:56 He could, you know, maybe go full crotch cup. Yeah. The Trump. He might have done... Oh, if cuomo grabbed somebody with the pussy that'd be so funny that would be that would be honestly that would make all this worth it
Starting point is 00:44:13 if the whole pandemic the whole pandemic the whole pandemic fucking 9-11 everything it'd be worth it if we found out that Cuomo grabbed a pussy. All those wars in between. I just saw this. So the U.S. just bombed Syria twice. Wait, wait. Just? As in, like, how recently? Yeah, just now, yeah.
Starting point is 00:44:34 We had to get back to basics. Yeah, we had to jump back in. I'm out of the loop on this. We just bombed Syria again? You don't mean four years ago. No, just now. No, like four minutes ago. It says U.S. carries out airstrike in Syria
Starting point is 00:44:47 targeting Iranian-backed militia structures. My God, they must have been building nukes. They must have been building nukes. Taylor, clearly there were madmen there. They're just full of madmen. Always madmen. You know, getting back into another war, it's going to be like snuggling up under a nice
Starting point is 00:45:03 blanket back to normal. God damn it under a nice blanket. Back to normal. God damn it. We'll see. We'll see. Trump kicked off with some bombings and there was no war really that followed. So let's hope for that. No, they're going to increase troop presence. They've already said they would.
Starting point is 00:45:21 Did they? Like they, one of the first, Trump, I read that he was trying to get a lot of troops out and towards the end. And it was undone very early on in Biden's administration. Like, no, we're not going to remove troops from Europe or the Middle East. We're going to keep them there. Did you see he's putting the kids in the cages? No, those are overflow centers now. Oh. Kyle, don't call them cages. They're those are overflow centers now. Oh.
Starting point is 00:45:47 Kyle, don't call them cages. They're kennels. Show some respect. The overflow centers. A kennel is even worse. A kennel is my favorite. You're putting people in kennels. It makes you imagine that they're on all fours. Like futters. They're sucking out little hamster balls.
Starting point is 00:46:04 Extra scratchy galvanized fences around them we gave them cedar chips come on it's like that episode of South Park when Butters is like made up like a dog and they're all shitting and pissing on him yeah we gave them cedar chips and they're in there
Starting point is 00:46:22 oh that's fucking funny Iraq? That's the worst way to say it. Bombs Saudi Arabia's royal palace? Does that have anything to do with us bombing Syria? I don't know. A bunch of madmen there clearly need bombs. What happens?
Starting point is 00:46:36 Iraq bombs? How does Iraq still have bombs? Didn't we take them all away yet? Yeah, I mean, they should be gone. That war's been a resounding success. To be clear, it was launched from inside Iraq. But I don't know that that doesn't mean it was Iranian or ISIS. It was probably fired by whoever it was you want to attack.
Starting point is 00:46:55 I just don't care anymore. I really don't. I spent the better part of my life watching bombs go off in Iraq and Afghanistan and Syria. Like, I just don't care anymore. I'm just numb to it, right? Like, I just, I don't know. But think of how much better our lives would be with all that money poured into, like, American infrastructure and shit here. Anything.
Starting point is 00:47:23 We've talked about this before. Like, you know, AOC is always talking about talking about like let's forgive everyone's student debt and i'm like yeah let me know right before you do it i'm gonna take out a few fucking student loans but yeah that's so true i'm gonna i'm gonna get in on game stop again with my forgiveness like you know what i think i want to go back to school myself for a very expensive degree. Do you need to get accepted to get a student loan? I'm sure I could get some student loans. I mean, you just got to be like, hey, I'm not even going to attend.
Starting point is 00:47:57 I'll give you 10%. How about I give you a little up? How about I put a down payment? You sign off on this paperwork. Accept me. Don't worry. I'm not going to even show up. And we'll get these loans processed.
Starting point is 00:48:08 You don't have to lie about that. For student loans, you could just be like, yeah, and get the loans and then be like, I decided not to go to school. You can do that. I'm pretty sure. Or someone I know in college committed a crime. I say in college. I was in college.
Starting point is 00:48:24 He was not. He was living on the Mizzou campus with his student loan money not going to school did he attend classes did he pay for classes no no he just lived there and became a drug dealer he was an entrepreneur not a student
Starting point is 00:48:40 well if the student loan thing wasn't a crime the drug dealing might have been why are you spam calling me at 8.20pm Well, if the student loan thing wasn't a crime, the drug dealing might have been. Why are you spam calling me at 8.20 p.m.? I hate those spam calls. I hate them too. I screen every one of them. Now I have to answer. No, so I've got, I don't know if it's a Google Fi thing or if it's an Android thing,
Starting point is 00:48:59 but I have a button. It says screen call, and I click that, and it reads to them, hi, the person you've reached is using a screening service from google and we'll get a transcript of this call go ahead and say what say your name and they just if they hang up i go spam detected block and that number will never call me again that's sorted so i don't have to deal with fucking patel trying to deal with my car's extended warranty or whatever the fuck nonsense that person was calling about oh i texted you guys this earlier this week that i uh i got a message or a bullshit call it didn't even say spam alert it usually does now but it was just some bullshit number
Starting point is 00:49:36 and because of like my basement flooding and like i'm expecting like different numbers from different areas for adjusters i'm answering everything very quickly and i answer it and immediately i hear like uh try like a muted down like indian accent like hello i am calling about the existing problem with your microsoft account and i was like all right i bet buddy i bet okay and then he hung up and everything and usually that you only get one of those you know but then a couple minutes later i got another call i didn't pay attention to what the number was. I needed to use Kyle's block feature in the future. And I got it again. It was that same guy going, hello, I am working on a problem with your Microsoft account.
Starting point is 00:50:12 And I was like, excuse me, I believe that you're mistaken. I am the one working on your Microsoft account. He hung up on me, I think, before I finished. I went way over the top of the Indian accent. That gave me a really great 2 p.m. pump. Didn't block his number. Maybe he'll call back. You should have saved him as a contact.
Starting point is 00:50:38 Microsoft account. I always get fearful that my grandparents are going to answer one of those phone calls and not know. I always get fearful that like my grandparents are going to answer one of those phone calls and not know. Like just the basic like even to ask like I have I have three PCs here. Which one are you talking about? Or just even anything basic to tell them to screen like they wouldn't even know they would. Yeah. To them, they're such deep in the boomer era.
Starting point is 00:51:02 They'd be like, whatever I got to do to get out of this conundrum. But I don't want to I don't want to deal with it. My mother in law. So we cared for her in her last years, and she had cancer and anyway, deteriorated towards the very end. And people would send her bills and she would just want to pay them. Like it was an emergency to pay fake bills. You know, they just tell her out of the blue she owed things for like a roof. It's like you're living in our guest house.
Starting point is 00:51:30 Which roof do you think this is for? Oh, your brain is deteriorating. Yeah. I'll take care of it. Imagine how good that roofing company's day was like we got one! We're saved one we helped her with all those decisions she didn't yeah of course i i got one a while back and for a split second i was like oh no what is this
Starting point is 00:51:56 because it was like a package containing narcotics has been intercepted on the way to you and i was like not again i promise we didn't order it this time yeah and and i was like because that's what i was saying i was like someone sent me narcotics to fuck with me no this time they're not gonna believe me now it's like the boy who cried wolf i was like shit, shit. And it's like, you need to send X amount of money to the blah, blah, blah to sort this out. And I was like, oh, they'd be here. They wouldn't be sending me voicemails. They just show up for this sort of thing. It's like when you get a call from the IRS where it's like, hey, you owe back taxes.
Starting point is 00:52:42 We have no information on who you are or what state you're in. It would even be like, hello, sir or madam. You owe back taxes. Yeah, my dad got a call and they were like, I don't remember the exact specifics, but it was something like, you know, we're just trying to confirm your identity, sir. Can you read us your social security number? And he's like, I think he might have given it to him.
Starting point is 00:53:10 And so then they know who he is. He's like, yeah, yeah, yeah, Mr. Myers. We've got this issue with this, this, that, and the other, and you owe this much of this. And he calls me and he's like, I got a call and they said this, this, and that. This doesn't seem right to me, but I don't know what's going on.
Starting point is 00:53:25 I'm like, yeah. Did they know your name immediately or only after you gave them a little information? He's like, you know, I think it was after I gave them my social that they knew my name. Shit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. after I gave them my social that they knew my name. Shit! Yeah, yeah, yeah. Whenever that happens, the first thing you do is like, who am I?
Starting point is 00:53:53 They're like, hey, we got a problem with your taxes. Oh yeah? What's my name? And they're like, valued customer? Yeah. Those scam artists are uh you know they cast a wide net and they they only need to catch a fish here and there because there's no overhead to scamming someone from uh from nigeria thank god you were there they'd almost caught your dad on the line yep yep yep i i think i don't think he was going to bite. He was very suspicious. He was like,
Starting point is 00:54:30 what is this? What's going on here? And I was like, ah, yeah, I think you're, I think you're safe since he didn't really give him anything too pertinent. But, uh, but yeah, don't, other than your social security. Yeah. Which is like any loans being taken out in your name. Well, I, you know, I, I got him a credit monitoring thing a while back so he could keep an eye on, on everything and he could keep an eye on everything. And he'll get an alert on his phone if anything happens there. So it's like, it's pretty safe. Well, that's good then. Taking good care of him.
Starting point is 00:54:54 It's kind of politics, but you guys have been following the $15 minimum wage thing. Yeah, a little bit. I saw that there's been some discussion. I think the Republicans even had a bit of a compromise with maybe saying 10. If I have it right, I think his name's Tom Cotton and he's from Oklahoma offered to raise it to 10. It's currently like 7.25. His state's minimum is already 11. It didn't seem like he was really meeting them halfway there.
Starting point is 00:55:24 There's that. i don't know how it's 11 in oklahoma uh that's interesting that's like i'm pretty sure that's like one of the cheapest states to live like cost of living wise like very very cheap in oklahoma you wouldn't think it would be too expensive i must have the state wrong because it's 725 there. Is it Arkansas? Where is it from? I'm from Arkansas. I'm going to guess he's from... That's a reference. No one gets with me.
Starting point is 00:55:53 He is from Arkansas is what I'm guessing. Not guessing. I looked at that piece. It is Arkansas. And he's offering 10, but it's already 11. What a forgettable state. Yeah, I don't know. So, like...
Starting point is 00:56:10 Do you know what the capital of Arkansas is? Little Rock? Frankfurt. Right? That's Kentucky. It is Little Rock. Well, Frankfurt is in Kentucky. Yeah, Frankfurt's capital of Kentucky.
Starting point is 00:56:24 Little Rock's capital of kentucky little rocks Arkansas yeah it's the capital of connecticut is that montpelier no it's vermont yeah oh shit i know connecticut hartford oh yeah let's do all the states what is oh god stop let's do what's what's what's washington it's not Seattle. It's something else. Some of these are hard. I haven't done this since elementary school. Is it Helena? No, that's Helena, Montana.
Starting point is 00:56:54 Oh, man, we suck. I haven't done it since I was like nine. Washington, I'm going to say, you know, it's not Seattle, but it could be one of those states where it's the one you don't think it is. So I'm going to say Seattle. I'm going to do what I did in high school, which is to say Washington City. If you don't know it, sometimes that gets it right. I don't think in any situation that gets it right.
Starting point is 00:57:20 You're probably right about that. It's like that Reddit post where they tell the kid to put these five words in alphabeticalical order and he just takes the letters in each word and puts those in alphabetical order so like one of the words is is there so he just takes t-h-e-r-e and puts those letters in order while you're can you guys do new jersey i have an unfair advantage there but it's a hard one jersey uh is is it trenton it is yeah yeah okay all right what's multiple choice i would be i would be like 90 on this but like pulling some of them out of my ass i'm just i'm just gonna suffer at this yeah missouri i would guess st louis is it right that's jefferson city i know north dakota yes north dakota is bismarck right is that south dakota i think it's i think it's bismarck north right? Is that South Dakota? I think it's Bismarck, North Dakota. Alright, this was ironic. I didn't
Starting point is 00:58:08 mean to get us on the captain's ticket. This is the worst bit ever, but I'm having a lot of fun with it. Especially for anyone, like there's a few people in the US are like, yeah, it is kind of hard, huh? But the people from like fucking Europe are like, Jesus fucking Christ. It's funny, you think anyone from the US is going to join
Starting point is 00:58:24 our side. They'd be like, these fucking three adult idiots don't know any from the u.s is going to join our side they'd be like these fucking three adult idiots don't know any of the capitals they're not wrong can we back to build that space of my brain with actors names all right that's so gone for a bit there was a piece of me that felt like i was somehow virtuous by wanting a $15 minimum wage on some level. I also understand. You guys have all heard me say you compete with automation and overseas labor. You can't just make the minimum wage whatever you want. But it was like, you know what?
Starting point is 00:58:53 Enough is enough. Everybody should be rich. And then I started to look at myself through another lens. And it's like, I'm not offering to pay more. I'm just saying he should pay him more. Aren't I pretty special for thinking that? Aren't I quite the gentleman and full of kindness for thinking that that guy should pay that guy more?
Starting point is 00:59:14 And it's like, ah, that's not really that impressive at all. I looked up the minimum wage from when I earned it to now, and it's actually inflation rate. I keep hearing this argument that if minimum wage kept up with inflation, that it'd be like $25 an hour now or something wild like that. I think it's if it kept up with cost of living. It's what they usually use. Okay.
Starting point is 00:59:42 Because I couldn't explain the delta. Which isn't fair. Maybe that does so i used to the people who have to live on minimum wage i used an inflation calculator and i pumped in in 1986 i was 13 years old i couldn't make the minimum i they i got paid less than minimum wage it was three dollars an hour but i was working illegally so they could pay me anything they wanted. And $3 an hour, I worked it forward and it was like $7.25 or something. The next year I earned the actual minimum wage, which was $3.35, put it in the inflation calculator and it was like, excuse me,
Starting point is 01:00:18 $7.65. I'll do it again right now. Inflation calculator. Yeah, it was like 625, I think. Or no, no, it was like 550 when I was 16, I think. We'll do that next. So in... 15, when I was 15. 1987. I just happened to know the minimum wage was 335. So this year that would make it 771. And is the minimum wage 725 or 765?
Starting point is 01:00:43 Do you guys know? I have no idea. I think it's in the low sevens. And is the minimum wage $7.25 or $7.65? Do you guys know? I have no idea. I think it's in the low sevens. It is $7.25. So it's $7.25. And when I earned the minimum wage, it was the equivalent of $7.71, which is more, right? I'm not knocking that, but they led me to believe it was like $25 or something really out of line with $7.25. I think if they tried to make it $10, they'd get general agreement, but they're not.
Starting point is 01:01:19 They're asking for $15, and I want everyone to make that. Fuck, I want everyone to make $30 or want everyone to make 30 or 100 i don't know it'd probably be different like it seems like doing that federally is is kind of odd too because it's like very very different in manhattan than oklahoma city like it it seems a little odd to have the same rule everywhere i'd be interested to see i haven't followed this at all and i don't know enough about economics to know anything but i'd be interested to see or hear like, what is the, like if they put, let's say they put $15 nationally, that's the new thing. How would that impact companies like Walmart, Target, Amazon versus companies like the remaining,
Starting point is 01:01:56 you know, 48% of small businesses that, you know, are still here from a year and. Yeah. Yeah. I'm curious about what. Isn't McDonald's one of the biggest uh employers like i know walmart is like number one in like the south specifically maybe in the whole u.s walmart's number one in the whole u.s i think mcdonald's is up there too mcdonald's is pretty high up there but like if i'm a mcdonald's's corporate guy and they tell me, okay, now your cost of labor is double what it is now, then I'm getting on that fucking machine that makes burgers and fries right away. And works self-checkout, right?
Starting point is 01:02:37 Would be probably a popular thing. Fucking self-checkout. If you can run your McDonald's with like two people now instead of like six and you've got like three quarters of a million dollars worth of machinery that'll pay itself off in 10 years. Like, yeah, do that. Do the self-checkout shit. You have one person like watching the front, one person watching the back, maybe two. You're good, right? So that ties into something I've been saying, which is everyone competes with automation and overseas labor. So McDonald's, that checkout drive
Starting point is 01:03:16 person could potentially be anywhere, right? If it's a sophisticated IT system, that guy could be in India, or they could just be one guy. Why don't you use cash? Maybe I've got an American dude who just works rush hours all day long. I hit the eastern, central,
Starting point is 01:03:37 mountain, and Pacific time zones and I just fill in on that extra throughput you need to handle the lunch hour. Like that. I don't know. I lunch hour. And, you know, like that. I don't know. I don't know how it works exactly, but they get more efficient. They wouldn't just have eight people for Big Shift. I want everyone to make more.
Starting point is 01:03:56 It just seems nice. Although I'm really just giving somebody's money to somebody else. Yeah, I just don't have an opinion anymore. I don't give a fuck. I don't know what the right answer is. So I feel like my, I feel like an uneducated opinion is worthless and that's kind of what I have.
Starting point is 01:04:12 I just don't know. We've got four hours to fill. You can't fucking believe that. Yeah. A lot of times people point to a specific cost, right? They say, Oh,
Starting point is 01:04:23 the cost of college has done this, right? It's grown far faster than inflation has. And they use that as an argument that minimum wage needs to be higher. And on one level, I get it. That's a thing that minimum wage employees might be paying for, college. On another level, it's like, well, you kind of cherry-picked that one, didn't you? You know, you didn't choose bread or milk or something more generic. Anyway, maybe just me that finds that.
Starting point is 01:04:50 I've been following the minimum wage thing a bunch because it's hot in the news right now. So what was your first average rent, Woody, like when you lived on your own? So this one's not gonna support it was 390 but it was a particular like i stayed in a low-income housing unit that was the one where the guy underneath me beat his wife and sold drugs and um jesus well what was the first average one right yeah yeah like i lived in pretty much a ghetto on my first place so i think a lot of people might hear 390 and think it's insanely cheap but you probably get a place like that now in jersey for like 790 or 690 and it would still suck um i want to say i paid oh jesus christ It says rent priced 390 in 1983 is the equivalent of that's 1983.
Starting point is 01:05:47 It would be later for you. We needed this. It'd be equivalent of 1343 now in 2021. But can you change the date? Yeah, I can change the date. Make it 93. I think I lived on my own then. 93.
Starting point is 01:06:02 390 in 1993 is $894.35 now. Okay. Okay, I just found the apartment complex that was my first apartment. Really? I'm going to see what it costs now. I hope mine's torn down. Mine was like $550, $600 a month.
Starting point is 01:06:23 And let's see what it is now. Colossal Landing Apartments. Dude, that's when I learned the importance of paying more for rent. So my apartment, this is the actual apartment I stayed in. The person before me left their animal behind. And that animal destroyed it. Right? They had to replace the drywall.
Starting point is 01:06:43 Not paint it. Replace it because it was urine soaked and disgusting. They had to replace the carpets because it was urine soaked and an animal died and rotted on the carpets, right? So they couldn't just like vacuum it and send it to the next guy. So when I went to like tour that apartment, I was like, this place is new. It was like fresh construction. It was lovely. And I'm like, I can't believe I was like, this place is new. It was like fresh construction. It was lovely. And I'm like,
Starting point is 01:07:08 I can't believe I'm getting this place for three 90. And then I realized that what you pay for is not just the apartment. You're paying to keep poor neighbors away. And I didn't pay for that. So I didn't get it. Maybe this was it. What do you say? You're looking for your place. Looking for original maps link. Ah, this is it. What do you say? You're looking for your place? Looking for your original apartment?
Starting point is 01:07:26 Ah, this is it. This is it. Man, I have not seen this in a couple decades. Yeah, I want to look at my old college apartment and see if there's pictures on the inside. So, yeah, it was 600 when I stayed there. And now, let's see. And what year was that?
Starting point is 01:07:56 2005. Looks like now it's like 800, 848. So it's gone up by 200 since 16 years ago 16 years it's not bad i mean 30 yeah i just don't know enough about the surrounding math of any of this but i agree with you woody and that like like viscerally i'm like yeah it does seem like about time the minimum wage went up but then when people were like, but have you considered this?
Starting point is 01:08:25 And it's like, no, I haven't. It's weird that they're bundling it into the COVID bill because a lot of jobs that pay minimum wage are especially hard hit right now. You know, imagine the sales at a boardwalk store today or restaurant or I don't know all sorts of little retail like i bet taylor's tied into this just how smashed retail is during the pandemic um and now you want to raise their labor costs because i'm feeling generous you know like i don't know how it would impact retail but i assume like companies like walmart are going to be able to handle that a lot easier than some restaurant who's already trying to get by on savings. And now and they're having to, oh, we only have 30 percent capacity. And it's like, well, now we're not even we have no margin, even when we're open, we're losing money staying open. We have to stay open. And so I would imagine
Starting point is 01:09:22 that might be enough to crush those businesses. That lady at the gym front desk who ignores you when you check in. That's a minimum wage job, probably. And they're not killing it right now. Gyms, restaurants, all sorts of places that have cheap labor. Yeah. It's sad how many small businesses are just gone, not coming back, especially restaurants and shit. What comes next? Like, I believe that this vacuum will be a board and will be filled with something.
Starting point is 01:09:51 Will it be gig economy type things? Will unskilled labor fire up, like, home cleaning services without friction? You know, can you just hire, like, Uber cleans and get someone to work around here babysitting? Like those services, gig stuff seems interesting to me. I don't know, but I just have this idea that there are unskilled sounds like an insult, but it's what I'm trying to say. You know, unskilled labor that that isn't employed at every mom and pop shop in center of town anymore what are they doing is it there is yeah i don't even know i mean uh the gig economy and people turning to that it doesn't seem to be out of desire it's more out of desperation where it's like
Starting point is 01:10:38 i i lost my job that was traditionally more stable and so now i have have to drive 10 PM to 6 AM, you know, Fridays, Saturday, Sunday, Monday, every time, you know, to drive people home from bars or from restaurants or whatever. So like that, you know, the gig economy is really good for the end consumer. I think, you know, it's very convenient. You know, there's a million services you can do where someone just a normal person can go grab your food for you, bring it to you or whatever it is. But like, I would imagine the people who are making the vast majority of their income from these gig economy jobs like they have to be living under a tremendous amount of stress they they don't have any sort of benefits they don't have health coverage health coverage is so fucking expensive
Starting point is 01:11:17 anyway so like how many hours a month are they working just to cover that minimum uh you know they don't want to get penalized on their taxes for not having it. So it's like it puts gig people in a really tough spot. So hopefully something comes back with semblance of normality to give people more stable jobs, but who knows? I imagine after this is all said and done, there's going to be even more of a handful of giant companies that control everything. Amazon, they're not going to slow down.
Starting point is 01:11:43 They've made it very clear they're going to keep dominating anything they touch they're good they have a good service and they deliver in two days uh you know you read stuff uh i know sometimes never in the washington post funny enough uh about like bad work conditions at amazon and things like that and nonsense where they'll oh i read something about this that blew my mind. It was like Amazon, they were going to, they're having voting on unionization at Amazon and, uh, Amazon offered them and said, Hey, if you resign before the vote, we'll give you a $2,000 bonus and we will rehire you right after the vote to make sure that they don't have to unionize and it's like that is fucking despicable that is absolutely despicable i heard that we're pro-using unionization ads
Starting point is 01:12:32 running on twitch which as you know amazon owns and they cut that shit out yeah no fuck that how did you hear that about amazon give you you a $2,000 bonus. Yeah, exactly. And they'll rehire you just because they do not want to unionize. Dude, unions. I've been on both sides of the union issue. When I lived in New Jersey, unions were stronger. They were strong. You know, this is like the 90s and 80s and stuff.
Starting point is 01:13:00 And unions had power. People, they were in the union. Union was like a sense of their identity, you know? Like, who am I? I'm number 56 on the high school football team. I'm local 39 iron worker. Like, this is who they were. It had to do with their friend group, their social status.
Starting point is 01:13:16 And they were, like, together, ape strong. Cool. When I lived in Jersey, I hated unions. Because I always saw the bad part of it. You still see some now. Like some cop can beat an elderly man while screaming stop resisting. And the union's right there to defend him and make sure he keeps his job and lands on his feet. Get him a lawyer, get him all that shit.
Starting point is 01:13:38 They're defending the indefensible. indefensible and i saw it so often like completely incompetent almost malicious workers getting union saviors attorneys you know fighting to keep their job like this guy's been caught high at work as a train operator engineer repeatedly and i'm like, I take that. Train gets there on time? No. What? No, never. Oh, fuck. I knew I had to do something today. I was supposed to be driving that train at work. We're just happy when it stops at the stops. I'm usually doing something on Monday.
Starting point is 01:14:17 If I'm a fucking train conductor, I'm going to want to be high. I want to be good and high. So in Jersey, hated unions. Now I come to North Carolina, right? What's the state minimum wage? There isn't one. It's the federal propping it where it is. Workers protection.
Starting point is 01:14:36 No, just fucking turn the screws. North Carolina unskilled labor gets fucked. And now that there's no union here, I'm like, oh, well, maybe there was something to that. And neither side seems to be perfect, but I do see both of them now. Anyway, Amazon union. I mean, I see how apparently it's pretty miserable there. I do love it. I ordered a tape measure for my bicep this week.
Starting point is 01:15:05 And I know I set forth a chain of human sacrifice and misery to get it to me in two days. But it came. What was your measurement? It was 15 inches. I don't have big biceps. How much? 15. 15.
Starting point is 01:15:22 15 or 15 and a quarter. I didn't have a pump. I might be able to get 15 and a quarter I didn't have a pump I might be able to get 15 and a quarter if I tried harder but that's where I am but yeah I ordered it and I'm like this is the stupidest fucking vanity purchase I've made so far this year
Starting point is 01:15:39 you just have to find something else to measure measure your skull oh it's another measurement where I won't keep pace with the show. Yeah, where's my caliper? Where's that caliper I spent $80 on and lost? If you find yours, I know where mine is.
Starting point is 01:15:56 It's in the kitchen. We can do a little skull comparison. Get to the bottom of this once and for all. I gotta find it. The head honcho is on the hunt. Is he getting a caliper or a tape? A caliper would actually be funny especially if it's one of those phrenology
Starting point is 01:16:11 calipers that's like the claw machine thing. But he's getting the measuring rototape thingy. He may. He called it a caliper so I think he may have a prop that he bought for live streaming. Yeah, vocabulary is usually his strong suit,
Starting point is 01:16:28 but the caliper is confusing me. I think it's going to turn out to be a caliper. We'll see. If he pulls out a caliper, I'll be impressed. Yeah, I wanted to get it. I'm trying to grow. So I have a lagging body part.
Starting point is 01:16:43 It's biceps. And I'm like, I should get a before measurement. See if I can go anywhere with it. I've seen people on the internet. They put those. It kind of looks like a sweat band, but it's more elastic. And they put it above the bicep. And the result is more blood is forced into the bicep and stays in it.
Starting point is 01:17:05 So they get like a ridiculous pump. And it's not just to like inflate your bicep. You're like, look, it got this big. It's because getting a pump is a big part of getting nutrients pushed into that muscle fiber and like making the muscle grow. Is it called constricting? Or there's a term for that where they reduce the blood flow when they this is during the exercise right yeah yeah like while you're working out these guys have this like it's like a an elastic band right above the bicep and below the the you
Starting point is 01:17:37 know like right here like below the uh the delt blood flow occ. I think I've heard it called Occlusion Training. I have seen it on the internet. I've never done it. I don't know if it... I don't know. I do have a t-shirt or two. Do you remember the Ultimate Warrior? Of course.
Starting point is 01:17:58 I'm going to show people for... I'm looking at Ultimate. His costume had these bands around his biceps and this is a good picture were you really pumped him up for the ring oh yeah oh yeah he's cheating so hard dude it gives you definition between your deltoids and biceps that is just awesome. I have a couple t-shirts that are tight in that same spot and have a similar. I feel like a peacock wearing it. Just like, look at me.
Starting point is 01:18:37 Because they're doing him some favors. The Ultimate Warrior's got some traps that are making me wonder if he's all natural or not. I have that same suspicion. Something about the Ultimate Warrior's physique is saying enhanced to me. I see it. I see it. If you scroll down, he's really vascular. Good golly.
Starting point is 01:19:02 But those bands are giving him more than he would have had on his own. Yeah. Yeah, they definitely are. And if, if I can narrow down which shirts are doing that and rebuy my whole wardrobe is going to have that effect. You know,
Starting point is 01:19:17 you're like, um, you're like 30% stronger on your negatives. Yeah. On something like bicep curls. So, uh, cheat it up,
Starting point is 01:19:24 you know, like, like rock curls. Cheat it up. Rock your hips and throw it back. Not every rep, obviously, but once you're like, I'm 10 in, I can either quit or I can just really cheat the fuck out of this and do the negative.
Starting point is 01:19:39 I do. Yeah, that's how I do it. It's pretty strict form while I can, and then I cheat some more. Shit, I'll do that on a lat pulldown. Sure. Get a little more. Did you find your caliper? No. I don't know where the hell it is.
Starting point is 01:19:55 Was it a caliper that you were looking for, like the pinchers? Yeah, the pinchers. It was. That's what I did on the stream like six months ago now. I don't know where I put it. I mean, it's a very nice caliper. It's the same caliper that melon farmers use to determine if they're market grade or something. No, it's to determine when a cow is ready for slaughter, idiot.
Starting point is 01:20:23 Were you ready to go? Yeah. Yeah. I was overdue. What was that? Months prior. What was it Ralph said when they were... I graduated from Bovine University.
Starting point is 01:20:39 Something like that. Bovine University. I'm learning. I'm feeling English english that's impossible he's one of my favorite characters like he's top five yeah ralph's good i just fucking i love the simpsons he's fucking top five seasons are so good he's great fucking even flanders is a funny character flanders is done well everybody's better early on I haven't watched any of the like last 10 years
Starting point is 01:21:08 of The Simpsons and I don't think I ever will I think I'll just let it just remember it the way it was it's probably the best it's probably the best what do you watch it now Taylor? what do you watch it now? oh uh
Starting point is 01:21:22 when I'm working out yeah I was watching The Expanse last week Watch it now. Oh, when I'm working out. Yeah. I haven't watched. I was watching The Expanse last week. I haven't picked that up again in a bit. I need to watch more Expanse. I'm still in, I think, the end of season two there.
Starting point is 01:21:36 Maybe very beginning. No, I finished season two. I'm about to start season three. So I need to jump back into that again. Other than that, when I'm working out and I'm thinking about other stuff, i'm having to like take breaks off and then like send emails or do you know offline work stuff uh i'll just throw on like the simpsons or family guy or some nonsense show i've seen a hundred times king of the hill king of the hill i haven't watched in like six seven months yeah only like five months i can re-watch it again so for my like mindless like just to have something playing
Starting point is 01:22:05 a tv show right now it's star trek the next generation again i'm going through and watching like the episodes that i haven't seen multiple times i'm coming to realize there's a reason i kept skipping them because they're just crapping terrible uh but um the the show that's premiering that i'm really into right now is still Snowpiercer. Season two is premiering week to week, and I'm following it, watching it as soon as it comes out. I know you guys haven't picked it up yet, so I'll go ahead and spoil who the new actor is for season two. It's Sean Bean from Lord of the Rings. They added Sean Bean to the show, and he
Starting point is 01:22:46 is wonderful. He is a really great villain, which is what they needed. So he's going to die again. He is. God, I hope they get him soon. He's just a monster. He's the guy running in the front of the train, I assume.
Starting point is 01:23:02 I don't want to go too much into the details, but he is a real sociopathic megalomaniac. He's just dark. He gets this one guy fails him. And Sean Bean knows this guy has failed him in a certain way. And he's like, oh, come on in, come on in, to the nice part of the train. And he's like, you've been working hard.
Starting point is 01:23:24 You must be cold. How'd you like a because you know water is kind of in short supply i think everybody's taking cold showers or whatever but he's got a nice like victorian freestanding tub in there he's like how would you like a bath it's like i don't know sir right you know it's no no no take your clothes off i'll He's just turning the tap on and everything. The guy's stripping down naked. Sean Bean starts stripping down naked, too. They get in the bathtub together, sort of facing each other and continuing their conversation.
Starting point is 01:23:55 That's just breezed by. Yes. It's very awkward. Sean Bean says something to him. He's like, while you were over there, did you have anything to eat? And the guy's like, well, they had chicken. They had chicken wings.
Starting point is 01:24:16 And did you have any? Well, I was just so hungry. Ah, so they know that you were hungry. I'm sorry, sir hungry i'm sorry sir i'm sorry i was i haven't had chicken in seven years well and he gets out a straight razor well it'll all be over soon you know you've served me well for these years and he's the guy takes the straight razor from Sean Bean and he's just like, do I have to, sir? Go ahead. It'll all be over quickly. And the guy fucking cuts his own wrists in the bathtub and bleeds out right there in the bathtub with Sean Bean
Starting point is 01:24:54 while Sean Bean watches his life drain out of his body. Sean Bean stays in the bath? Yeah. Okay. I think he's into that. I think he likes being in the tub with people while they die because it's not the first time he's into that. I think he likes being in the tub with people while they die because it's not the first time he's done it. This is a recurring theme,
Starting point is 01:25:09 that he has people kill themselves in the tub. Yes, yes. With him. And he's naked, so he's taking a big risk handing the blade to another guy in the tub with him. Oh, the guy would... I mean, that other guy would be taking a
Starting point is 01:25:26 big risk if he tried to do anything with that blade because like a like a combat expert no but like like he's god he's he might as well be like like even if you struck him down two henchmen would come and kill you immediately basically one of his henchmen is one of the scariest things I've ever seen. So he has this henchman they call Icy Bob. And Icy Bob is, I'm going to say he's 6'7", maybe 300 pounds. And he has undergone this treatment where they have like winterized him. And he has all of this like these patches of like synthetic skin fused all over his body so his face looks like a a puzzle that's been hastily put together it's like a patchwork of of like flesh with like these ridiculous like scars in between and he can withstand like this negative
Starting point is 01:26:21 100 degree fahrenheit temperature for like not for a day or anything, but for like seconds and minutes at a time. So like when, whenever they're having like this big battle in one of the train cars, they just turn the fucking cold air on from the outside and it's blasting. And to a normal person, it touches them and they're screaming in pain. You know, the skin just immediately frostbites off your body but i see bob is just wading through it just fucking crushing people i see bob yeah yeah like there's a part where i saw a picture he's very scary looking like what do you want us to do mr wilford he's like send in bulb and they're like i see bob or greasy bob do you even
Starting point is 01:27:04 have to ask? I don't know who Greasy Bob is, but I'd hate to see him. I don't know what his deal is. He's all slippery. What's he going to do? He doesn't walk. He just slithers. He's Greasy Bob.
Starting point is 01:27:18 Quick, quick, quick. Getting buttered up in his prison. Yeah, it's a wild show like like i didn't know how they were gonna like make a second season because again i don't want to give too many spoilers but it's it's it's quite a bit different than what you saw in the movie like like things are not in the the pieces are not in the same positions that they were in the movie to say the least but uh you got like two or three strong actors and two or three more like good supporting actors and uh and a really interesting premise and i'm into it it's uh i think it's on tnt which is like whatever um i think i watched the first season for free on hbo
Starting point is 01:28:01 and then uh i purchased the second season for like 22 bucks or something like that because like you know I finished the whole season of this shit and then they give you the first episode for free and I'm like I want to see what happens next and there's two more already ready to like watch if I just plunk down a little cash so I I just did it and i i like the show i don't think it's it's not game of thrones you know pre pre-abortion it's it's not like a breaking bad type level show but it's it's like a strong it's a strong show it's a real strong six a real weak seven out of ten type show that i think premise and the premise can pull it a long way that's that's pretty neat the premise is really neat and uh you know like i said there's there's a couple premise, and the premise can pull it a long way. That's pretty neat. The premise is really neat, and like I said,
Starting point is 01:28:47 there's a couple of actors that are pretty cool, and it's very brutal violence, very brutal violence, lots of dismemberment, cannibalism, very bloody, gory stuff. A lot of freezing-related things where limbs are cracking and shattering. Freezing torture, that's a method of tortureattering freezing torture like like that's that's a method of torture they have like a hose that's sort of connected to the outside and they they can sort of use it like an airbrush instrument to like freeze one of your fingers and then shatter it with a hammer if you're not going to talk um that happens um and uh there are some like
Starting point is 01:29:21 it'll be like like the like sean beans clearly like a bad guy yeah but like some of his henchmen are like gerbils level evil it's it's like like oh he's got people that work for him who are actually fucking evil so like truly evil i see bob's actually a decent guy he's just he's just got a job to do i just i just saw a picture of me doesn't look like a decent guy looks like a monster he spoke in the last episode and you're like oh i expect him to be like a mongoloid or something he's just like you know you really shouldn't cross them they're scary people and i'm like if icy bob's afraid of these people then they that's who i'm referring to like
Starting point is 01:30:05 the people that icy bob is icy bob is warning one character about two other characters he's like don't cross them don't rub them the wrong way they're dangerous and it's like that if icy bob's afraid of these people these people are like the scariest people in the show and sure enough like like they're like super scary, like experimenting on human beings, evil kind of people. I mean, that wasn't icy Bob experimented on.
Starting point is 01:30:31 Exactly. So that's why he knows they're, they're no good. Yeah. They probably turned him into icy. Pretty decent show. I, I,
Starting point is 01:30:38 it's, it's, it's got the Kyle two thumbs up for like recommendation. Um, that, uh, that last show I was watching, uh, what was it that I recommended? And then i withdrew my recommendation tower series no it was uh the stand you're close
Starting point is 01:30:53 also steven king um dark tower might be an interesting series i those books lost me i started reading those in prison and i was just like oh my god i he gets even more than usual come on steven how much coke were you doing when you're writing this shit uh but yeah the stand lost me around episode eight out of ten or something like that and i went back and finished it man it really goes off the rails after that it you know he's bad with endings and i it's like it ends twice it's one of those movies it's like all right we took care of the bad guy now everything's hunky-dory and then the characters are like i don't know let's get a little more trouble and they spent a whole other episode like getting in some more trouble and then end it and it's like god you're terrible at this steven
Starting point is 01:31:42 like like you need some you need a second writer to come in at the end and put the finishing touches on the masterpieces that you write. The endings would suck just differently. They wouldn't fit. They'd be Lego pieces that don't go together. Like J.K. Rowling, say what you want, but Harry Potter has a pretty decent fucking ending. There's a few things I'd change around, but at the end of those books, I've read them multiple times, and the movies, they're very similar the way they end.
Starting point is 01:32:14 You're like, yeah, all right. It all worked out in the end. What happens in the end of Harry Potter? Does he get married and just live a normal wizard life? Well, so he's got the big face-off with Voldemort, finally. He wins. He wins. And a couple of the other characters step up big.
Starting point is 01:32:32 Many, many of the good characters die, and it's quite sad. Lupin and Tonks die, I believe. And it's pretty sad at the end. One of the Weasley twins dies quite sad uh and um huh movie two i don't remember that yeah yeah and um but you know our main group of characters all make it mostly unscathed harry ron hermione they all make it and uh then there's like a prologue or whatever you call it and i i don't know i guess i won't tell you he's gone but but yeah it ends well i i think it i think harry potter is gonna be up there with like the on the mount Rushmore of like fantasy for a long, long time.
Starting point is 01:33:25 Uh, I saw the other day, someone pointing out just how much stuff she stole from Tolkien, you know, like, like comparing characters in the Harry Potter universe to the Lord of the Rings universe. And it's like, God damn it.
Starting point is 01:33:42 I, that's pretty accurate. yeah yeah did he establish the universe tolkien like like did he create elves and dwarves and yeah but like elves and dwarves that as we know them are a tolkien invention but they're also like we know them that's how you do it right now the answer keys out that you can't just make elves something else in the same way that like if Tolkien invention. But they're also like, we know them. That's how you do it right now. The answer keys out that you can't just make elves something else in the same way that like if vampires and werewolves and fairies and something existed in a new thing,
Starting point is 01:34:13 I wouldn't say, Oh, you copied that. It's like, well, no, that's just what werewolves are. But,
Starting point is 01:34:19 but you can, you can have a different shift on it, right? Like, like for example, you don't have to do, uh, Mary Shelley's Frankenstein or Bram Stoker's Dracula. have a different shift on it right like for example you don't have to do uh mary shelley's frankenstein or bram stoker's dracula you can do a movie like 30 days of night where the vampires
Starting point is 01:34:32 are showing up up in alaska where you've got 30 days of night because it's so uh high up in the and and these vampires are very uh feral almost and it's a they're not these sexy, suave, like illusion-based vampires. They don't turn into anything. They're vicious and cruel. And feral is the word. And they work in a pack. You can put a little twist on it.
Starting point is 01:34:59 Whereas if you look at... One of the examples that was given was in Harry Potter. Harry Potter's got the scar that hurts whenever he's in contact with Voldemort or connected with Voldemort in some way. Just like Frodo has the scar from Weathertop that hurts him all the time whenever he's around the Nazgul. the Nazgul and then Gollum Gollum and it's hard to remember all these characters' names
Starting point is 01:35:28 Dobby are basically very similar characters and it went down a line. There was a whole litany of these play for play like Gandalf is fucking Dumbledore. They're just so
Starting point is 01:35:44 similar and it's like, come on. Dumbledore. They're just so similar. It's like, come on. Dumbledore is way more badass and powerful. That's a real nerd discussion that happens online, who wins Dumbledore or Gandalf. Did Dumbledore come back to life when he died? He existed as... No, the answer's given already but but he's in the afterlife able to like you know
Starting point is 01:36:09 still communicate with harry yeah still be dead self-cross is over but but you know gandalf is a fucking essentially an angel he's a demigod so i like that about lord of the rings with gandalf that like and i i never got into harry pot Potter my youngest brother watched the movies and I didn't like how there was a spell for everything where you know Hermione would be like oh thank god I learned this this afternoon to get us out of this pinch I like that and then but like Gandalf there's times it would be like what are we going to do great wizard and it's like well I'm drawing my sword too I don't I don't have unlimited magic, bro. I don't know, John Rhys-Davies. What are we going to do? I don't know, John Rhys-Davies.
Starting point is 01:36:49 The tallest guy on the cast playing Gimli. Huge dude. And it makes sense they had to do that because they're like, all right, we need a guy who looks like a dwarf, but the only people like that are like six foot five. So we need him. John Rhys-Davies, I knew him from a tv show called sliders back in the day on that was him wow i just put that together because a fake nose in lord of the rings yeah um yeah that
Starting point is 01:37:14 she she borrows a lot but still i i love harry potter and i one of the things that always made me fantasize about existing that is probably the universe that i fantasized the most about existing within like i was like yeah harry potter because i loved the way magic worked there and the whole wizarding world and like the the whole idea of it like everything about it seemed very attractive to me i liked the idea i would be like the fuck harry why aren't you studying don't you want to know all these wondrous spells i would be a hermione i thought that too like like you're telling me there's a library full of books and like every page is another fucking magical spell that i could memorize and master and there's a there's a whole class of potions and some of these potions give me like
Starting point is 01:38:06 infinite luck yeah it's like like yeah yeah yeah oh you know there's all sorts of like make your there's a whole bunch of rule 34 shit where people are like zoop making their cocks huge and then banging each other with the giant cocks and stuff and there's a bunch of like like even in the books hermione like makes herself prettier with magic uh like like there's a how so someone someone puts a spell on her that makes her teeth grow like super big and they were already big like like one of her character traits is like she's got ugly big teeth and so when she shrinks them back she's like and a little extra and like makes them nice like like instead of going back to her original buck teeth she's like yeah wow we're here you know and like like gives herself nice teeth you get the
Starting point is 01:38:50 nail on the head with like the feeling like you should study because i do remember watching it with my brother and seeing that redhead kid who's friends with hermione and uh harry ron being like i don't want to study school sucks and it was like dude you're in you're in fireball class right now yeah you're in ice beam class and you're acting like this is long division like i would be early to class every day like you're gonna blow something up today even if not even if we learn how to like make plants grow faster i'm game i'm game i want to have i want to have the biggest potatoes like there was they're like oh not herbology where we have to work oh yeah
Starting point is 01:39:30 oh he went to potatoes the fuck i don't know for sure but you guys have been accused of enjoying the devil's lettuce now and then i i can't imagine you'd use your herbology yeah but the magic is unlimited i can have delicious potatoes roasted with rosemary as i'm smoking my enormous pot yeah that would be man you could not control bad kids at hogwarts like it would take no time at all for kids to kill each other especially if you're giving them books and all they have to do is like mispronounce something to to accidentally burn the place down or fuck something up yeah that would be the most unrealistic part there'd be so much rape i just fantasize so much i started reading when i was maybe 12 13 why would there be more rape because like like uh lucius malfoy the bad would cast like Staticus or something and then it's like, oh,
Starting point is 01:40:26 Hermione can't move and then he would just go rape her. On a counter argument, he could rape her as a normal person. Like, boys can't rape girls. Yeah, but these people don't even unlock locks without wizardry. Like, they don't even walk up to a doorknob and open it.
Starting point is 01:40:41 They... You could... there's that spell where you can it's called polyjuice potion it's a potion and you get a little bit of like Taylor's hair and you make that one of the ingredients and now when you drink it you transform into Taylor for a period
Starting point is 01:40:58 of time and like that's something I can't do and you just be transforming into like hot chicks and whoring yourself out all the time you can't do. And you'd just be transforming into like hot chicks and whoring yourself out all the time. You wouldn't need a job. You just, you just, like Woody's always wanted to be a girl and get fucked.
Starting point is 01:41:13 Like Woody would have me, like, oh, it's the hardest potion to make, huh? Well, let's start cracking the books, boys. But teenage me was like, I need to look like that chick's boyfriend. That was my thought process to the old switcheroo no you turn yourself into the girl and then you just squat over yeah kyle went straight to being a girl and getting fucked and whoring out huh yeah i'm laying all the hottest chicks in school
Starting point is 01:41:35 by being the hottest girl about making some galleons all right what was the name of the class where you learned the the best stuff the ice beams, the fire beams, summoning, some sort of – Defense against the – well, it depended who was teaching that year. God, this is coming off poorly. It depends who was teaching that year, but defense against the dark arts class was the offensive defensive spell class. It was about fighting. Well, and that's the coolest one. It depends who was teaching the class that year. The year that Lupin
Starting point is 01:42:05 taught, which I believe was third year, was a great year because he's like Harry's uncle kind of figure. But then later on, some of the most awful characters in the books taught that class as a way to hold Harry back
Starting point is 01:42:21 in a way. But yeah, Defense Against the Dark Arts was like the offensive-defensive spell class. Harry taught a year of that. He made it all the way to teacher. Well, there was a year where Hogwarts is infiltrated by the Ministry of Magic, you see. And so Harry takes it upon himself to teach the class because the actual
Starting point is 01:42:46 teacher is refusing to actually teach anything so the the children all get together and say harry you should teach us and so they use the room of requirement which is like this hidden room in the castle that becomes whatever you need it to be they go into there every night and they train it's very much a hollow deck a magical hollow deck and they go in there and harry teaches them all the things that he's learned over the years you know because he's had to face off and teach the teachers the teachers didn't want to teach they're on strike because of the the invasion of the ministry of magic they were um the the the the viewpoint of the ministry of magic was that vo Voldemort had not returned
Starting point is 01:43:26 and they would not hear anything else. Actually, this year, the Hogwarts had been taken over by Voldemort's henchmen. And so, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. This is the year before that. Yeah, yeah. Ministry of Magic's position was that Voldemort had not returned and they also did not want any of that stuff taught so the teacher they put into place is one of the most evil characters ever written in a book is that horrible woman that dresses in pink lady yeah she's the
Starting point is 01:43:54 worst and and she won't teach anything she's making them read books and like the theory of self-defense it's like if you go to your like jujitsu class and everybody just cracks a book and talks about what an armbar would hypothetically look like. And you're like, well, what if I actually need to apply an armbar in a self-defense scenario? Who will you be defending yourself against? I don't know. Attackers? Where are these
Starting point is 01:44:18 attackers? No one's going to attack you. So she was the bad guy who was setting them up for failure so they wouldn't be prepared for a bet the bad guy attack worse she was a bad guy who didn't know she was a bad guy which she was just an evil person who didn't have an agenda other than that of her she didn't even have anything to gain by being bad no she didn't know know that Voldemort was back. She didn't care. She was just a bureaucrat,
Starting point is 01:44:50 power-hungry sociopath. She sucks. The coolest character is the guy in the woods who talks with spiders and stuff. That's Hagrid. Hagrid's a cool guy. I could do a whole Harry Potter podcast because it's one of my I might like it more in the Tolkien universe. I'm really into it, but I'll spare everyone anyway.
Starting point is 01:45:09 Kyle, I've been wanting you to do this Star Trek talk. So there was a question from the Patreon. He asked for it. And I want to get it exactly right. It basically was, you're a Starfleet captain. Do you want Spock or Data, Lieutenant Data, on your crew? Data. Why?
Starting point is 01:45:33 I mean, he's incredibly advanced. He's super intelligent. He's 100% loyal. One of the biggest advantages that Data often provided was there would be scenarios where he would not be affected by the anomaly or whatever. He's non-biological, right? He's an Android. So like something would happen that like made everybody devolve into like
Starting point is 01:45:58 whatever they came from. People are turning into lizards and, and spiders and lemurs and stuff. Well, he's a robot. He's not going to devolve. He's not infected by any of the diseases. He's not affected by a lot of that stuff. There's an episode where they stumble upon this alien race that doesn't want to be discovered. They're isolationists. And so their solution to this is to erase people's memories and hur, like hurl them back out of their space.
Starting point is 01:46:26 And the people wake up and they're like, Oh, what happened? I don't know. Let's get out of here. But the enterprise is very inquisitive. So like they, they do that and the enterprises comes back and they're like, all right, we're going to destroy them. And data's like, Whoa, I'll cover the tracks. Send us back again. I'll make sure they don't come back. And so there's this whole episode where like data is clearly lying to everyone. And everybody's like, why is data lying to us? He's lying about this. The computer's clock doesn't add up to what actually happened. We weren't just knocked out for 30 seconds. It was eight hours. What was data up to? And they're so inquisitive. They've got to go back and and
Starting point is 01:47:05 figure it out and aliens are like all right we're killing them all now and they and they're like we can we can try it again put us all asleep again and data will do it right this time like so for that reason data's got so many advantages as a machine over just annoyingly see spock isn't even isn't even full vulcan so like his human side takes over sometimes and he's a real piece of shit like he gets emotional there's an episode where he gets sprayed by this fucking pollen on this planet and it makes him like super emotional and he's wanting to like quit starfleet and like go on some sort of peace and love tour or something there's an episode where data gets drunk and fucks the chief of security um tasha yar yes uh yeah um she that i don't remember exactly what the effect to data was
Starting point is 01:47:55 i think data was all a-okay and he was himself but everyone else was turned in like horny versions of themselves and she shows up with like that Superman doopty do coming down her face from her hair. And she's wearing like a low cut Jennifer Lopez, like 1998 Oscars kind of dress or whatever. And she's like, are you fully functional? And he's like,
Starting point is 01:48:18 I've been trained in 37 methods of human fuckery. And she's like, Oh really? And it's just like it's like yeah so today he gets laid uh yeah yeah uh spock was just the original series sucks they didn't have the budget they know what they were fucking doing it's it's a lot of the core the skeletons of a good show are there but like there's no meat on those bones. TNG is where it's at, and then Deep Space Nine afterwards, and everything else is a fucking abomination. All right.
Starting point is 01:48:54 Hey, have you paid any attention to this new game, Valheim? Are you familiar with it? I messaged you guys about Valheim about a month ago, saying we should jump on that bandwagon. Yeah. Apparently, the early access beta is wildly successful. They have tens of thousands of players. I just learned about it.
Starting point is 01:49:16 I guess you told me about it months ago, but I relearned. I thought I learned about it two days ago. And I was like, ooh, here's a game the boys haven't heard of. It seems interesting. I tried to watch it on Twitch. Long, boring stretches. It was Shroud, right? So Shroud is someone who finds action, right?
Starting point is 01:49:36 He'll play a slow-paced game quickly, Shroud can. And I don't think I literally saw him fire a bullet or throw an axe or anything the whole time I watched. This looks cool. Yeah, we should definitely get the three of us in there. And maybe even get like a patron or somebody. I guarantee there's someone who's real fucking good at this. Yeah, well, it's 10-player co-op. It seems to be a decent amount of PvE, it's not exactly rust it's more minecrafty
Starting point is 01:50:07 but there's some very cool monsters in here based on the the preview i like the norse stuff i like norse mythology um uh so that's what drew me to it and then i saw that it was like mini player co-op and some sort of and and I liked the idea of the PVE, frankly, like, like in some games I'm just like, like PV and rust. It's like,
Starting point is 01:50:28 get out of here. I'm here to fucking raid. But in a game like this, it's like, Oh, this could be real laid back and fun. Yeah. I'll play.
Starting point is 01:50:35 I'll fill a lobby up. I'm sure with the, with the patrons, um, those guys are always down to, you know, jump on board with whatever we're into at the time. Uh,
Starting point is 01:50:46 yeah. So the survival games, my concern is that it, it's a big time sink, you know, like some games you can't play a little bit here and a little bit there. Russia is a good example. And I don't know where this one lands.
Starting point is 01:50:58 Yeah. Um, the forest is kind of like that. Like, like you need to play four good solid sessions. It probably takes a good 12 hours, 14 hours to beat
Starting point is 01:51:11 the game. It's a co-op PvE, loose story based kind of game with building, PvE combat, weapon construction, and survival. I don't know anything about Valheim other than
Starting point is 01:51:28 what we've just said. I haven't seen any footage, but I saw how popular it was and that it was Norse-based. I like that shit anyway. A lot of the tattoos that I'm looking at are those Norse fucking tattoos. I'm into that shit.
Starting point is 01:51:44 Yeah, I'll play anytime, especially if we can figure out if it's a game we can take on and, like, nibbles and bites rather than, like, all right, buckle up, boys. We got to play for 12 hours to get to the first load screen, and then we can log off for the night. Like, that's how Rust is sometimes. It's like we can't quit.
Starting point is 01:52:05 We're, like, we're in the middle of the thing. We have to finish this or we are left vulnerable while we sleep. I like games where I can quit at my leisure whenever I want to. Hopefully this game is like that. Like I said, I just bought it so I'm down to play. This looks like fun.
Starting point is 01:52:21 How much? Like $5, $10? $20. $19.99. We're getting rich yeah speaking of of games someone sent this to me just as we were doing the show so magic the gathering uh made a partnership with warhammer 40k and lord of the rings and so they're going to be making cards with warhammer 40k and lord of the rings themes i'm gonna have to jump back into buying cards if they're physical cards i'm gonna buy the lord of the rings set god damn it i might buy some fucking cards that's so cool dude you have no i if you think if i'm sure you're picturing like like all the crazy lord of the rings cards you could you
Starting point is 01:53:00 come up with and like oh i want the fucking shelob card like but warhammer 40k like has some of the most overpowered nonsense you can imagine good that fits in with like black hole grenades and stuff like like all sorts of like ridiculous ridiculous over the top op shit yeah this is gonna be so cool like they've got great aesthetics in the warhammer 40k universe and obviously the lord of the rings universe is very fleshed out and cool that's gonna be really neat especially all of the like tribal decks that are gonna come out of that because i guarantee they'll make like a god dorian tribal rohan tribal dwarf tribal goblin tribe all of that or uruk-hai tribal troll like they'll hopefully if they're if they build it out that way that'd
Starting point is 01:53:43 be really really really neat. See, this kind of annoys me, though, because it's like, why doesn't Lord of the Rings partner with Creative Assembly with Warhammer and make a fucking Warhammer Lord of the Rings game? Like, Warhammer Lord of the Rings
Starting point is 01:53:56 would be so sick. That would be huge. So many people would buy that. I'd buy two copies just to support them. I'd buy one. I'd play it a lot. But yeah this i just saw this news and this seems pretty cool like and i know lord of the rings the the owners of the lord of the rings rights or whatever for the longest time they were like no we're not selling it because i'm not gonna let you do anything because you've
Starting point is 01:54:20 fucked it up too many times and now like the new owner of the tolkien enterprises is letting them do whatever apparently like yeah sure i could do it oh you want to remake this and on an hbo show fuck it do it see how it goes so what if it sucks it probably will i'm rich yeah yeah who cares if it sucks it's more content i just won't watch it i agree i agree Is it Amazon though? Right. That's making the, uh, yeah, it is Amazon. Yeah. There's a lot of really big, um, um, pro projects on the horizon, like, like the halo live action thing on paramount plus the Lord of the Rings thing. Um, I think there's a, there's a Harry Potter TV show in the, the works at hbo very early though okay i haven't heard about that i'm sure that would do well like everybody who's really into harry potter is like my age or your age now and so like that's a that's a big market of people who would buy that yeah i i what i
Starting point is 01:55:19 harry potter is so good that it survived the fucking PC stuff with J.K. Rowling, you know, with her comments about trans people. That's how you know you've got a powerful fucking product. Like, is it Chris Brown that, like, beat Rihanna? People still like his music. Like, eh, you know, he's pretty good at music. That guy was the ultimate, like, now I'm going to keep doing it, where it's like, hey, we know for a fact you beat the shit out of her.
Starting point is 01:55:50 And you just said you did. He's like, yeah, well, I got to make it to recording. So goodbye. Michael Jackson's another one. He's like raping children. And people are like, yeah, the music was pretty fly, though. Yeah. We can get over it. children and people are like yeah the music was pretty fly though yeah yeah we can look we can
Starting point is 01:56:06 get over it that's how he gets that youthful energy for those days i feel like kevin spacey like dude he's fucking good at what he does feed him children if that's what he needs like like if that's if he needs to feed upon the souls of of little boys and girls to act that well. I'm okay with it. I agree. I look at that like a NIMBY policy. Not in my backyard. I don't want to see Kevin Spacey eating or molesting children.
Starting point is 01:56:34 But as long as those, you know, good movies keep coming out. Keep them in Hollywood. Yeah, keep them in Hollywood. Far away from our shores. We don't want them here. Keep them over there. Yeah. What about actors who were completely wrong for their part can you think of anyone who they just picked the wrong guy uh that guy hayden christiansen is awful and everything he was he played uh anakin skywalker You underestimate my power.
Starting point is 01:57:07 It's like he's farting. You know he's coming back, right? What? He did what? He's coming back for the Obi-Wan Kenobi series. I think he's playing Darth Vader. Interesting. I did not know that, and I'm surprised by it.
Starting point is 01:57:22 That won't make a difference. Will he be in the suit yet? He will be in the suit. Oh suit oh well then it doesn't matter but i think the mask is going to come off occasionally when he's like in his vita chamber or whatever the fuck he'll be in the suit but they're still getting james earl jones to do the voice so it's cool yeah yeah he'll have the voice when the mask is off i think you'll have hayden christensen's voice and when it's on you'll have james earl i'm serious are you serious yeah because that's how it works because the voice isn't that's not his voice you know it's it's a uh it's an
Starting point is 01:57:51 amplifier for it's part of the suit oh really i thought it was just kind of echoed because of the mask i'd sound different too if i was wearing a mask i thought it just did that somehow no it's it's a speaker of some sort that yeah essentially yeah yeah it's like if bane sounded normal when he came took his mask off it would be distracting but i guess you're right it makes more sense kyle have you considered the new toyota supra for your next car faster than a camaro similar price range only comes in auto can't go wrong with toyota uh it's way too small and it's underpowered and he doesn't want to price it says faster than a camaro and same price range are you sure i'm not sure i just go invited i'm not sure either but but maybe there's a newer model
Starting point is 01:58:45 of it. I remember the initial showing of it. That was my take from it. It wasn't all that fast. It was overpriced, and it was too small. I'm wondering which Camaro. The SS? The V8 or the V6?
Starting point is 01:59:01 Yeah, right. Is he comparing the two top ends? I'm guessing the Supra's a four two top ends or because i'm guessing the super is a four cylinder i'm guessing i mean if i'm going for a sporty car and it's the same let's just assume same price same specs and everything like i would absolutely take the camaro like i don't know what a toyota super looks like looks pretty nice looks as cool as it looks pretty nice it's just too small though um i've got some stats 382 horsepower three liter six cylinder on the super okay looks kind of cool but it is a teeny tiny little car um i saw a jaguar f-type in person two days ago maybe three and that was pretty sick
Starting point is 01:59:40 uh it sounds real nice. Had a lot of crackle and pop to the exhaust. It sounded real nice. Looked real nice. His was red, which I didn't care for. I would want black. But no, car's going to be a Corvette or a Jag, almost certainly. It's going to be one of those.
Starting point is 02:00:04 Probably, yeah, the Jaguar F-Type. You've trained for for a bit and now you're back on i've gone back and forth it really depends on um a few things but i for that price range 40 to 50 000 i think the two best cars uh most bang for my buck uh are the f-type they make a v8 f-type um which is still within that price range depending on the mileage um and uh and the corvette like a 20 2017 to a 2018 corvette or f type is kind of what i'm considering f-type a coupe or a sedan it's coupe two-door yeah and am i crazy is it all-wheel drive i want to say that was one there is an all-wheel drive version which is kind of why i was considering it the most i was looking at all-wheel drive cars for for denver or for colorado in general because of the snow i was
Starting point is 02:00:56 like ah man i don't know i don't i don't want a two-wheel drive car you know if there's snow i can't go out uh and i was looking at all of the all-wheel drive sports cars. I don't want a fucking Subaru before anybody says it. And so the Jag F-Type was the thing that combined all-wheel drive with styling, with performance, and was in that relative price range and wasn't like something shitty. Which is more tangible on the inside probably the jag right i would imagine the jag it looks much fancier it looks much uh like the materials are
Starting point is 02:01:32 look better you know like higher quality materials shit right like it's pretty fast there's like three different versions there's a anywhere from off the top of my head like it's like three to 450 horsepower or something like that depending on which one you get roughly i'm probably off a little bit but then the corvette is just a fucking rocket ship on rails for for like the same price like corvettes are ridiculously underpriced for what they are if type seems fast to me kyle's point of reference is a camaro so it's's a little different than us. It's fast. I mean, it's probably faster than my Camaro.
Starting point is 02:02:09 My Camaro is like 425 horsepower. Like, it goes as fast as I want to go. I'm not looking to go fast. That's the thing. The answer is there for you, then. You're not looking to go fast. Take the one that's probably just as fast as what you have now, and I imagine the interior of the Jag is going to be a lot more posh,
Starting point is 02:02:24 a lot fancier probably. It looked a little small and it doesn't look as nice as a Corvette to me. I'm probably still leaning toward the Corvette. If I'm, if I'm not as worried about the all wheel drive thing, like, like I could get the Corvette and then get like a Toyota Tacoma four by four for like $8,000 or something like that.
Starting point is 02:02:44 And like, if I need to go out in the snow to get groceries or like just run to the store, like hop in the Tacoma, you know, something, something like that, that you buy one with 140,000 miles and you're like,
Starting point is 02:02:56 yeah. And it'll go another 95,000 miles if I need it to with like an alternator and a water pump or something. If you're a homeowner, it's nice to have a pickup truck. just seems like every so often you there's something of size that you need to carry home from home depot or whatever yeah for sure yeah and i still have my silverado but but i am so tired of putting transmissions in it that like i hope it just explodes uh i've put like i don't know how many transmitissions three I think it's a lemon
Starting point is 02:03:27 I'm hands off I'm hands off that car I'm not going to fuck with it anymore I'm tired of putting new transmissions in it and hiring mechanics to work on it I don't know what to do with it if I were still blowing shit up it'd be on the chopping block
Starting point is 02:03:44 that like Cars for Kids program write it off your taxes If I were still blowing shit up, it'd be on the chopping block. Can you donate it to that Cars for Kids program? Write it off your taxes? That's not a bad idea. Wait, Cars for Kids is a thing? 1-877-CARS-FOR-KIDS Donate your car today. I never see commercials, but that just sounds ridiculous. It's like cigarettes for kids or alcohol for kids
Starting point is 02:04:03 or other things kids don't use. You don't give the kids a car, donate the car and the proceeds go to the kids. That makes it. Yeah. There's a step in the middle there. They leave out on cars for kids. They make it sound like they're going to put children behind the wheel.
Starting point is 02:04:18 This is a charity in which seven year olds fulfill their fantasy of learning to drive pickup trucks. It's a mistake. I'm not, I'm i'm not yeah that would be a wildly unsuccessful charity was to drive a toyota tacoma off a bridge but yeah no every time somebody has a suggestion for a car, it's like, no, no. First of all, I'm aware of all the cars. You don't have secret knowledge, people. Have you heard of the Ford Mustang?
Starting point is 02:04:58 It's like, yeah, I've considered it. I'm not interested. Can I ask why you don't like... So I like the subarus it's quite possible i'm a lesbian i'm open to that idea but when i see him that i just find him appealing what do you think about the subarus if uh if i were living in a mad max world where i didn't want to like get some pussy occasionally i might get a wrx sti right badass car handles incredibly well there must be some 18 year old who makes bad decisions who likes that car you could do fucking 70 miles per hour
Starting point is 02:05:34 around a sharp corner in that car and as long as you're harnessed in the car's gonna do it you just gotta make sure you don't fall into the other seat like it'll do it it's it's a great fucking car it's reliable no it's fucking ugly i don't want that ugly piece of shit it's ugly i don't want it it's gonna hurt your pussy game you think maybe i wouldn't get in and if i was a girl i was like oh yes you think the average woman walking up to your car has any idea or even looked at the logo yeah really yeah okay you should start picking up girls at that mechanic union i don't know like look it's not like i drive a ferrari or anything but it's it's it's not rare for me to be like at a drive drive through or something like that and be like,
Starting point is 02:06:25 oh, I like your car. And like that to be a conversation starter. I'd like a nice car that I think that girls would like. That's not my only concern. I have eight concerns when it comes to a car, but that is on the list.
Starting point is 02:06:41 I personally think the Subaru is an ugly car. If, if I were just getting something for utilitarian purposes, I'd be driving a, what, you know, a $2,000 Honda Civic, right? Oh yeah. It gets 45 miles per gallon and it gets me back and forth. It's not what we're doing here. I want, I want performance. I want comfortability. I want reliability. I want desirability there's a whole bunch of things that go along with this purchase and for those reasons it's Corvette or Jaguar
Starting point is 02:07:12 and the Jaguar is second place right now the Corvette is just sick yeah there have been a number of times in my recent life where people are like man isn't this ugly and I'm like I think ugly might be my style actually I think it's cool here's another I think you asked
Starting point is 02:07:32 one I like the commander the Mustang I don't hate it or anything I just find the Camaro styling to be superior I just think it looks better it's got a really nice interior though I think the of the Mustang might be better, but I like the exterior styling of the Camaro over the Mustang. And that's what, if you're comparing apples to apples, that is the comparison. It's Mustang to Camaro. There was a period of time where the Mustang hardly looked like a sports car to me.
Starting point is 02:07:59 I think they call it the bubble body. The Fox body was even worse. I don't know if everyone knows what that looks like. But I'm like this i can't even tell this is a sports car it looks like mom's car to me this is supposed to compete with camaros and corvettes and shit like it's it's lame but current mustangs i think are pretty cool looking i think they are too i i think they're one of the best looking cars on the road um i rented one a couple years ago, drove it from Albuquerque to Denver, and had a ball in it. I actually got the EcoBoost model. I rented it.
Starting point is 02:08:36 Is that the top one? No, no. I don't know if it's the bottom one. I think it's the supercharged four cylinder, maybe like, like, like it's a, but,
Starting point is 02:08:48 but it was surprisingly powerful for what it, for what it was. It had like six or seven different drive modes, you know, like drag race mode and quarter mile rope mode and fucking track. And I don't know, I went through all of those. And I,
Starting point is 02:09:03 I remember like, like little things stick out to me in cars like the the steering wheel was very squishy it was you know it was leather but it was like oh yeah i can feel some squish when i really grip the steering wheel and i like that because my steering wheel is hard my truck i'm sorry to interrupt but uh there are a lot of things about the f-150s uh interior that okay, but if you touch it, it's like, oh, this is plastic that's supposed to be metal. This is plastic that's supposed to be leather.
Starting point is 02:09:37 Even though it's a high trim level, it's just not as high as you can dream up. Yeah,'t know i don't know mercedes um like models very well but there's an a there's an amg that's um or something like that that's like affordable you know a couple years old it was like also in that 40 to 50 000 price range um maybe it was an i'm gonna get it wrong amg 43 or something like that it doesn't matter anyway it's a like a mid-sized sporty uh mercedes and it's like oh my god this blows all the other cars out of the water with like the materials and the comfort level like when you when you talked about something that is made to look aluminum,
Starting point is 02:10:26 it's aluminum in the Mercedes. If something is... That's wood! That came out of a tree! It's like, this is aluminum. This is not just leather, but really nice leather. The stitching,
Starting point is 02:10:42 you're like, oh shit! Did some old German lady fucking do that by hand god damn that looks good like like everything in the in the mercedes looks sick um uh i i can't tell you the details but you just know it's expensive to maintain though right like for somehow the oil is going to cost 420 to change or something like that's what happened did you get a poor more expensive than than domestic you know like like i don't know that it'd be like i'm sure the jaguar is expensive as well um my only experience i had an xj12 when i was younger and that's why i got rid of it it was like it was time to change the spark plugs and it was like oh yeah well first of, there's 12 of them because you've got a 12 cylinder Jaguar, but also like
Starting point is 02:11:29 everything else I'd ever worked on. It was like, yeah, pop the hood. Yeah. See that that's the spark plug. Yeah. Pop. Yeah. Pop the wire off. All right. You get your wrench. Yeah. All right. Now take it out. Now put your new one in this. It like all right jack the car up you got on the lift great now drop the transmission you had to drop the transmission to change the spark plugs and they were expensive and there were 12 of them and i remember being like could we just change the ones that are bad it's's like, no. Change them all. You don't just change one spark plug. No, you change them all.
Starting point is 02:12:13 It's like, fuck. Can we just get rid of this thing? I changed my mind. Cars can be too hard. I changed the timing belt with PKA Dan. You probably remember him. Yeah. And it was his wife's minivan and i'm like what the motor's in here sideways all right so we're gonna work on the timing belt by removing the passenger side tire what kind of van was it was it a dodge i don't recall actually yeah i'm i've seen that before. I've blown up a minivan that had that and looked at it and was like,
Starting point is 02:12:48 that's fucking weird, huh? It's in there sideways. I know what you're talking about. Yeah. Yeah, it was troublesome. And what was fun is Dan had gone through this phase where he was changing timing belts all the time. It was like if you told him you needed a
Starting point is 02:13:05 timing belt fixed he was all excited he was like fuck yeah we're gonna like i'm so glad you have a timing belt to fix it's my new passion changing timing belts all right cool and he had these um to get the main crank bolt it's a big deal like he had a six foot breaker bar and he's leaning on it six foot and the car is tilting. I wasn't there for this one, but like the whole car is going and they've got so much leverage. And there's like two grown, strongish men pushing on this thing and the bar is going and it's this like unmovable force versus this unstoppable object. I might have swapped those. And anyway, and, you know, so it was this thing. And then we went to do it, and I brought my brand new impact wrench, right?
Starting point is 02:13:52 And this is a pneumatic. Like, I bought it because it was good. I was working on it. What is an impact wrench? So it's air-powered, and it looks like a drill, sort of. And when it hits any trouble it goes it just sort of like bangs and and then yeah instead of continuous torque it does this stop and load again kind of thing where it's like bang bang bang bang and it does it fast so it'd
Starting point is 02:14:18 be like it's all right so you ever watch nascar or something like that when they do the pit changes and they're oh that's what those that's that's an impact wrench yeah and and that's just so you ever watch NASCAR or something like that when they do the pit changes and they're... Oh, that's what those are. That's an impact wrench, yeah. And that's just so you can do it really, really fast? Mine is good. That's why they use it. Yeah. But it's also great for what Woody's talking about,
Starting point is 02:14:34 like breaking stubborn bolts. Dude, wonderful at that. We're like, all right, we're going to see what this wrench can do. We're going to see, like, you know, it's going to be a toughie. The wrench didn't even blink. It just goes, it was like a NASCAR tire. And I was like, it was, it almost took the fun out of it. Like, it was, dude, I was overpowered.
Starting point is 02:14:58 My dad's got a badass electric one. It's like, whenever one of those projects comes out it's like oh hang on a sec we're to the case it's like snap snap it's like the soul at the beginning of pulp fiction yeah it's so fucking powerful like we've always had the pneumatic ones but like i i don't i don't remember what got him into the electric one but like someone says oh you want the electric one that thing's just ridiculous and you know it's you don't gotta worry about air compressor you can do it anywhere and it's like yeah it turned out it was just ridiculous because he's that's a use case he has uh often like breaking stubborn bolts off of various things and it's it's
Starting point is 02:15:45 outrageous yeah you can hurt your hand with those like lately they can yeah yourself that's funny my I have a pretty good set of pneumatic tool I know you've been struggling with your wrist. Kyle was just getting healed. When lifting, I get this weird pain here. Like in whatever tendon this is called, where it just gets tight for no reason. Did you ever get that, Woody? No, not there. My bice biceps been troubling me yeah you know that's all i have this time you point to that too kyle that little like it's it's right it's right um there right here oh it sounds like the same place yeah maybe oh kyle's is more in the back yeah it's it's more in the back and
Starting point is 02:16:43 it's like it's it's the one it's going backwards and forwards more so than left and right. It's from being pushed too far back this way. It's wildly painful. Do you think you heard it doing, what is it called when you build a shelf for front barbell deadlifts? Squats. I don't know how I heard this. Okay. It's just ridiculous though.
Starting point is 02:17:10 You gotta be doing those, like bend your, your hand back stretches and pull it down. When I had tendonitis a few years ago, that really helped me out. And when you go like this at first, you're only going to be able to get up to like here, like,
Starting point is 02:17:21 and it's going to suck. I've been doing that. Like you said, like, like I thought maybe that would help. Like when I do things like get out of the tub or like move out of the bed like like you know things where you put your palms down and sort of scrunch your way out like in the tub you put your hands on the side and like push yourself up or whatever i use my forearms i put my forearms on things and push down with those now. Like all the grace of a seal.
Starting point is 02:17:48 I scooch around like a dog, like scratching its asshole. Like, like, cause like if I try to like use like this part of my hand and put pressure there, like I could, I could press like with this part and no pain,
Starting point is 02:18:00 but if it's up here to the point where it rotates the hand back, I'm in a lot of pain i think it would cost a hundred bucks to go see a physical therapist and he would properly diagnose it so like what taylor said might be right but i'm always cautious because half the time it's like oh yeah does that hurt you need to stretch it and work it and i'll give you some exercise and the other half they say oh does that hurt you need to rest it and ice it and elevate it and like the opposite of yeah i've been resting it and uh and trying to like not aggravate it at all like i said being real being mindful of not using it the way i've described like things like getting out of the tub or like just scrunching
Starting point is 02:18:43 around out of bed you know like palm down like that'd be anything anything where you're like putting pressure like on the front of your hand and it pushes the hand backwards like don't do that yeah i can push with the the heel of my hand you can push pretty hard yeah yeah that's fine because that's that's that's that's here but up here where it makes the hand go backwards and it like whatever this tendon is in here when it's making it do stuff. And forward hurts too. If I go too far forward, like this is painful right here. You should see a doctor. Those are really important movements for the wrist.
Starting point is 02:19:19 Well, I mean, it hurts in both wrists, so it can't be anything too bad. They're identically painful. Go to the fucking doctor. It's not like I have some sort of aberration in one hand. It's like a tumor, for example. They call it putting pressure on a nerve. What you'd be buying is knowledge on what's wrong and how to fix it. I'll give her another three, six months if it's still hurting.
Starting point is 02:19:42 I might do something like that. I, too, make bad decisions. I'm going to go to the doctor. I've got a little mole on the back of my upper back. Are you going to go to the dermatologist? Can you give me a hand? That's how I am when I go to the doctor. I'm going to put that mole right back to you.
Starting point is 02:20:03 It's like, sir, why'd you bite on the doorknob to get in here? What the fuck is my fucking room? When I go to the doctor, I wait so long to go to the doctor that I'm like, yeah, so what are you here for? Well, I'd like something for this acne. I've got a blinding pain in my wrist, some kind of weird bump on my cock. Also, like, I think I got an ingrown toenail. You want to take a look at that? Let's refill that Adderall prescription
Starting point is 02:20:30 while we're here. He's like, well, let's start with your cock. Get the worst out of the way. Get everything out of the way. That appears to be a Skittle, Mr. Myers. How did that get there? Yeah.
Starting point is 02:20:48 Taylor? I think you should probably stretch out your wrists not to the point that it hurts i just say because it works for me you don't go back and you don't do that stretch where it's like yeah the hurt means it's working it's just like the second you start to feel that pressure you stop and you hold it there and then you go down to the and it worked for me with my tendonitis my joints are all weird like they all do that uh like like go too far kind of thing my knees will go too far too which is that kind of sucks that's a little they go backwards my knees will go backwards like i can bit i can if i point my toe and keep going my knee will keep going it won't make an effort not to go past straight typically yeah that's the thing that you need to focus on oh if i ever accidentally it's i mean i could i could snap
Starting point is 02:21:31 my knee in half yeah you can't be strong backwards no that's no no there's there's no you're not built to do that you're not like those aliens in that charlie sheen movie that have the backwards legs that walk like cockroaches you kind of look like an emu yeah like all my joints do that like they get they go fucking too far like my fingers do it my wrists do it clearly my knees do it um yeah it's it's a whole thing do it in an upsetting way my toes do it in a way that really upsets Taylor that was my least favorite thing about meeting you. It was you going, Taylor, I told you I could walk around on this concrete
Starting point is 02:22:09 floor with my toes and you just start going, ah, ah. This guy was pretty cool up until right now. I love doing it because people are always like, ah, fuck. Because you say, stop, Stop! Don't do that! You're going to hurt yourself.
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Starting point is 02:25:46 Yep. I have some patreon questions if you want to send us a question just uh it's the ten dollar patron level you also get pkn early link down below so this gentleman says has kyle considered oregon as a destination instead of colorado all the drugs are decriminalized not just weed lots of inexpensive places to live no sales tax great bow hunting uh when the time comes that he can do that again or washington state it's got no income tax uh it's just so far man that's just literally the opposite corner of the country yeah like that flight is like six and a half fucking hours into seattle um that's like the longest flight i think i've ever been on and i four hour flights like flying into vegas for example i think is a roughly four and a half
Starting point is 02:26:31 hours could be a little off on that but i'm like all right this isn't so bad even la i think la is just a little bit more than vegas you know but flying to seattle i was like i mean i was in first class and i was still just like man i am ready to fucking get off this airplane i'm getting fidgety here i'm good i don't need to piss but i'm gonna go to the bathroom just to stretch my legs like can we get some more booze over here like i'm i'm fucking i'm ready to get off this motherfucker i watched both of the in-flight movies that i gave a shit about and there's still two and a half hours to go on this flight, I want off this airplane.
Starting point is 02:27:07 I wouldn't want to deal with that every time I wanted to come back and maybe visit somebody or do a thing. Also, that would be moving my stuff to Colorado is already a little bit expensive. Just getting the move done. Now we're adding
Starting point is 02:27:23 another 40-50% to that at least, you know, as far as moving costs. And I don't love those States. I've spent a good bit of time in both States. Like I've been to each of them three times maybe, and spent, I don't know, the better part of a month there, you know, total Oregon reminds me so much of georgia with it's just green everywhere and kind of a lot of city and then we drove by portland and it's like the fucking scummiest city i've ever seen it reminded me of like like the whole city reminded me of skid row in la it just what was how was it scummy i don't know heroin and hobos that's that thatos. That's what should be on their fucking flag. It's just a fucking hobo shooting up. It was mind-blowing how many homeless people.
Starting point is 02:28:11 So I haven't been to Philly or New York for a long time, but it wasn't so much that there's lots of homeless being scummy. That's an LA thing in my head. But something about it's dirty. I think it's the climate. I think the humidity or the rain, it just doesn't wash clean. It's grimy. It's grimy.
Starting point is 02:28:29 It's super grimy. All the buildings are coated in grime. It feels like there's diesel soot on everything that is outside. You touch a tree leaf and your hand is dirty afterwards. Whereas like Dallas, and I think it's the climate, maybe just being dry doesn't collect the same kind of dirt on every surface. It looks shiny and like literally shiny, like glimmery by comparison. I was from Philly. And as far as like all the drugs being legalized, like I don't like to do a lot of drugs or anything like that i really just like smoking weed we were talking about this today yeah uh we were talking about this today and uh and um uh the the the the the patron discord
Starting point is 02:29:10 and i was i was i was saying that like the only other drug that i've ever done that i actually liked was when i was prescribed that codeine syrup like if all drugs were legal and i could just go to the store and buy a bottle of codeine syrup, just kind of sip on every now and then, like if you could just take a little bit of that, put it in like some nice cognac, like drinking cognac with cough syrup, cognac with fucking codeine in it. Right.
Starting point is 02:29:38 Like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like,
Starting point is 02:29:39 like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like,
Starting point is 02:29:39 like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like,
Starting point is 02:29:39 like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like,
Starting point is 02:29:40 like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like,
Starting point is 02:29:41 like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like,
Starting point is 02:29:41 like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like,
Starting point is 02:29:44 like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, One of those would put you in a real good place. Maybe a hospital. No. Look, I'm not suggesting anybody does anything, but I'm just saying, like, if I hypothetically drank a glass of very fine cognac, like some Grand Marnier maybe or something like that with a little bit of peach-flavored codeine syrup, it would be one hell of a time for one little nice drink
Starting point is 02:30:07 that you'd sip, you know, over the course of an hour or so, 30 minutes or something. That was good shit. Um, but other than that, like, like I have no interest in like doing Coke or meth or like, like I've got a, I've got an Adderall prescription, you know, like drugs or just pot really. Yeah. Yeah. Just pot, you know, like drugs or just pot really. Yeah. Yeah. Just pot, you know, like, like I, and mushrooms I had terrible experience on. I'm, I don't think I want to do that ever again.
Starting point is 02:30:33 Um, I, I don't like getting on a ride that doesn't have, uh, an, an off position or, you know, there's no off switch to, to, to that. or you know there's no off switch to to to that where i'm for the non-drug people how does weed have an off switch in a way that this others don't for me personally like smoking weed never keeps me high for longer than 20 minutes like and and i mean like my definition of high is probably different than like someone who doesn't smoke a lot. Like I should be I should have time dilation. Like time shouldn't pass for me in the same way that it does for you. If I'm high, I'm not talking about like, oh, yeah, I've got a little buzz.
Starting point is 02:31:20 Giggle, giggle. I want some pretzels. I'm hungry. My mouth's dry. Like, no, pussy. I'm talking about getting high like we're talking about getting fucking stoned big talk for a guy that hasn't touched pot in years and anyone else thinking the way i kyle and i have the same tolerance right now
Starting point is 02:31:34 and he's acting like some sort of no you do not kyle will jump right back to like even when we were at the colorado trip like i i was more of uh you know take a couple hits and be like, as Kyle would say, bitch mode buzz. I'm like, man, I'm feeling pretty. I'm kind of toasty. I'm kind of high. And I'm ready to keep playing magic. And Kyle's like, round four. Just like, okay.
Starting point is 02:31:55 All right. And what you're going to want to do here, Kyle, is, okay, I'll finish it once you're done with the hit. So you want to tap. Okay, I'll take another one, I guess. For the end of it, it's like, I can't. He did this so he could beat my ass. I can't even remember whose turn it is is i was just being polite i gotta say no i won't i don't mind smoking at all but like yeah i felt like a bitch you and chis were ripping
Starting point is 02:32:13 right through it and i was like are they are they feeling the same way i am no no we're not no we're not they're fine like chis came to time. Like, like, so he came in on the bus. I think this was for the survival trip. And, uh, and so like Chiz arrives at my house like a day before, maybe 36 hours before, and then Woody's going to drive down in a day or two. And,
Starting point is 02:32:36 uh, and so I go pick Chiz up at the bus stop in Atlanta and driving back to my place. So on the way back, I'm like, I got some good weed when we get, get back to my place, man. the way back, I'm like, I got some good weed when we get, get back to my place, man.
Starting point is 02:32:47 I know you, I know you're in Cali. I know you've got whatever you want, but I got some good weed. You know, you're going to see, you're going to see. And I did,
Starting point is 02:32:56 I had some really good weed. I don't remember where it came from. Maybe from Cali, but, uh, but like we get back to my place and he hadn't eaten for like eight hours and the plan was we'll get high and then we'll eat and i think i had wouldn't got gotten like taco bell or something because that's one of my favorite things to eat when i'm just real fucked up
Starting point is 02:33:16 and we're we're out of my front porch and it's it's me and him and somebody else and we're all chatting and uh i had a little water pipe or something like that and i'm just bubble bubble bubble bubble bubble bubble i you know i clear a whole bowl at once i'm not sharing the bowl like it's not that i'm bogarting it like i'm gonna clean it everybody pack it and hand it to you these are we each get a bowl we're not gonna share a bowl like like like you i'm the whole bowl, and you get your own bowl. So I smoke mine down, clear it, pack it, send it to him. He does the same thing, sends it back to me, clear it, pack it, do it again,
Starting point is 02:33:57 hand it back to him. I look at him. He's looking a little woozy. He hasn't eaten. He's like low blood sugar or something over there. He hits it anyway, hands it back to me do it again i do my third i go to hand it back to him he's like no no i'm good i'm good all right man so i just keep going you know i'm one after another and uh after a while i realized chis hasn't said anything in a while
Starting point is 02:34:20 i look at him and he's got that sweat on his upper lip and he's pale as a ghost and he's just looking through me i'm like dude are you all right you don't look so hot he's like that's some real good that's some real strong weed well yeah man i told you some real strong weed you okay eat that burrito he's like i think i just want to go lay down man start up fresh tomorrow yeah he did he did he's like i'm gonna call the night i'm done i mean you get that you get to that point with weed where it's just like, I got to go to bed. Like, I can't be up anymore. I need to go to sleep. If you're high.
Starting point is 02:35:10 I mean, that's why I went to concentrate is because, like, I got to the point where, like, I got to smoke so much flour to, like, get time dilated high. It's like we need concentrate now to, like, efficiently and, like, cost like cost effectively like get high anymore and with dabs it's like i would have my water i would be in bed with my water bong uh like a little water pipe like i had this fancy hand-blown deal that was like not like crazy expensive i'm sure people are listening to have like a thousand dollar fucking pipes or something but this was this fancy hand-blown thing i'd bought it went in atlanta it was maybe three hundred dollars or something and it looked cool and uh it when you when you do dabs the bowl is called a nail um and i think yeah yeah and uh they're either made out of titanium or quartz because you get them super hot.
Starting point is 02:36:05 You take a blowtorch and you heat it up to, I don't fucking know, 500, 600 degrees, something crazy hot. And then you put your concentrate in there, do this little spinny dippity do thing. And it vaporizes in there and you inhale it. It's doing the same thing. This vape i'm fucking hitting nicotine out of does but it's fucking thc concentrated to 87 percent uh potency it's crazy fucking strong and so like i i would hit that thing twice in a row like do two dabs back to back and be so high that i wouldn't put the pipe down. Like sometimes I would just come back to and realize I'd been holding this pipe for like 30 minutes. I'm like,
Starting point is 02:36:54 Holy shit. That was, well, it's time to go again. I guess I'm awake. I'm conscious. And like every now and then though, like I get so high that like my grip would like slowly
Starting point is 02:37:05 be loosening and so like the pipe because the nail is sticking out on one end it's heavy on that end and that's where it will pivot so that would swing and so my grip loosens and the nail swings around and hits the back of my wrist like right here and and it goes i'm sure there's a pka where if you look closely like if i do something like this you'll see like a fucking like on the back of my fucking hand because i've i burnt the fucking shit out of myself because i got so goddamn high that like i let the thing slip out of my hand and burn the back of my uh my wrist the concentrate stuff is no joke i remember the first time i tried that in college i only smoked like flour up until that point and someone was like hey try uh something on this dab rig and like my first thought it was at a buddy's like
Starting point is 02:37:55 college apartment where he stayed with a couple of other like really party loving guys and like there's something more intimidating about like oh trust me it's just weed and it's like no there's something more intimidating about like, oh, trust me, it's just weed. And it's like, no, it's not. That's in a scary little container that's super concentrated. And you have a torch right there. That's sketchy. Seeing the torch is like, this feels like it is. And like, they started heating it up.
Starting point is 02:38:17 And I kept like saying like over and over, like, you know, give me a very small amount. Like you guys keep talking about like, oh, this is the most powerful thing on earth. And like, I took what I thought was like, if it would have been a hit of flour it would have been a teensy tiny little hit of flour yeah i took it and it was maybe like two minutes later like on the way up like a minute in i'm like i'm fine i'm not gonna get out of control but then the escalator didn't stop and i was like oh this is my plan for the night like i do not are you ready hey you want to go out to the bar no no if you guys are going to the bar i'm gonna go home it's the tv at your place it's the best it's it's not a good thing to do and then go out and like socialize
Starting point is 02:39:00 like high on or that high at least at the time i was that level of high where it's like everyone knows everyone knows ah to each their own because like i got to the point where like nobody knows nobody knows as long as i can't be sunglasses on because if you can see my eyes you're like ah well i've got sunglasses on you're not gonna know you're not gonna know nobody's gonna know because i'm i'm gonna be chill with it i're not going to know. You're not going to know. Nobody's going to know because I'm going to be chill with it. I'm not going to be fucking weird. I'm not going to be self-conscious about it. I'm just going to be blazed out of my goddamn mind.
Starting point is 02:39:32 And nobody will be, you know, have any fucking idea. I knew a guy in college who like his parents were very anti weed and they caught him with the red, you know, devil's dick eyes a couple of times. And he like I was just talking to him one time you know just at school we may have even been in the library just chatting and like you like popped a pill and i was like oh damn dude like you're staying here all night it's like 11 15 like i'm about to cash out and he's like no dude that was a vicodin and i was like oh okay i thought i didn't know you were into that stuff he's like no dude that was a vicodin and i was like oh okay i thought i didn't know you were into that stuff he's like yeah dude like my mom kept like seeing my eyes all red and
Starting point is 02:40:12 so i decided like you know i'll just you know my eyes don't get red if i take these and i was like this is i did at the time i was like okay you know enjoy that i guess but uh lesson lesson he had an enormous amount of problems later in life due to those pills like getting yeah no pills they were and they were like i don't know the terminology of the pills that's not something i'm into but like uh they were whatever like the creme de la creme of the pills is like a high milligram of oxy yeah opiates yeah but i know there's like different like what's it called what's the um percocet uh oh i don't know the tier list but based on name those ones aren't as like oxycontin is like the the grand poobah the king of those apparently and that's what he was getting like yeah it's not something i've ever been into like i said like like i whenever
Starting point is 02:41:04 i'm prescribed it i ain't saving them i'm i'm taking them i'm like i've ever been into like i said like like whenever i'm prescribed it i ain't saving them i'm i'm taking them i'm like i've got permission to take these you better believe i'm gonna chew up these tylenol threes and have a good old time codeine i think is the only thing i've had though because tylenol three is codeine and tylenol and uh and obviously the codeine syrup and they are wonderful and i could see how they could be addictive for sure. But I knew to avoid that because I do, of course, have an addictive personality, whether it's Total War, Warhammer, fucking Harry Potter movies, or goddamn opiates.
Starting point is 02:41:36 So I always stayed away from that because I knew so many. You could smoke weed every fucking day, and you might get a cough. You do fucking opiates every day, and you're going to have a myriad of health problems and you're going to end up in rehab. There's a difference. Of course, you smoke pot every day, you might end up in federal prison. It's true, but you weren't going through shaky, sweaty, fever-y balls when you were thrown into prison.
Starting point is 02:42:02 They're like, oh, this fucking pill popper heroin addict. No, no, not at all um like the only withdrawal worse than like those pills is alcohol i think so too yeah because people can die of that yeah you have a seizure and like even if it doesn't kill you that way like you have a seizure you like fall bash your head open or something yeah people die of alcohol withdrawal um that's um i think that's one of the things that sometimes they'll put people in a coma in to so that they just skip over that whole withdrawal thing i've never even heard about that that must be jordan peterson did really and he was on he was on benzo so i think maybe that's what it's not opiates maybe it's benzos and alcohol are the two that like can kill you if you're withdrawing hard enough not something i know a lot about i just i'm pretty sure that uh jordan peterson went to russia and they they did that
Starting point is 02:42:53 thing where they put you in a induced coma so that you skip over the withdrawal part of uh kicking whatever it was he was on psychologically i wonder how that adds or detracts from like relapse you know like i would imagine that somebody who's addicted to benzos and has to like white knuckle it through a big portion of it might be more likely in the future to be like you know what dude i really want one of these fucking benzo pills i want it so bad oh but i'm remembering how i felt in that hospital bed god that was a whole week of like feeling like i was gonna die no whereas if it was like the artificial coma through it is hard i guess you had to go to russia and pay to be put into a coma that's yeah right you're like well i had to spend a week in a coma the last time i was taking these maybe
Starting point is 02:43:40 i mean i got a lot of rest but uh yeah i don't know about all that i don't remember the first time i had concentrate i don't remember where i got it or uh or or or what um the main guy that i used to get stuff with i remember he would have it in these big like golf ball size balls of it that's a tenet. He would have like a golf ball size ball of it. How much you want? I'm like, how much fucking is it? And he'd tell me or whatever the price, I don't know what it was like 30, 40 a gram or whatever. Like, ah, cut me off 10 grams. Yeah. Let's, let's just do that. 400 bucks. Yeah. And he just, he just like take a knife and like, Oh, like, like like take a knife and like, like,
Starting point is 02:44:25 like it was so thick and like, it's hard to like cut off that much and good stuff. Good stuff. You got your nice and fucking high. So I can't wait for your probation to be over. Oh, it's going to be a living again. It's going to be a celebration.
Starting point is 02:44:43 We're having a good old time. I was talking to the boys i think imagine kyle that first day of freedom opening your door in colorado and be like and then just turning around and going back inside yeah i'm in a whatsapp option to leave if i wanted i'm in a whatsapp chat with a few of the $50 patrons and they're and they're like hey you wanna maybe we'll go to Topgolf and somebody's like yeah we could do like an ATV tour
Starting point is 02:45:10 and Dirty was like I thought we were gonna get fucking high and chill and I'm like yeah that's what I'm going to do y'all can do anything you fucking want but I'm gonna watch movies and I'm gonna to smoke weed.
Starting point is 02:45:26 Well, we're doing the go-kart thing again. Sure. That was fun. Taylor. I mean, it's not that I wouldn't smoke, but the activities sound like great fun to me.
Starting point is 02:45:38 Go-karting skiing. I'll definitely go-kart. What was the other, what was the thing you just mentioned? We should do what? Top golf, putt,putt, ATV. That's fucking lame. I don't know what idiot suggested golf.
Starting point is 02:45:51 Top golf is fun. It's cool. What is top golf? It's basically like everybody knows the funnest part about golf isn't the golf thing. It's going to a driving range and hitting it as hard as you can with horrible form and seeing how far you can get it to go. Everybody knows this.
Starting point is 02:46:05 That's all that it is. You're just standing on an elevated area, smashing balls as hard as you want, seeing how far you can get it to go. And I think they have little scoring systems. I have a friend who works there. And behind you is a really cool bar area, really cool games, restaurant stuff. So they've got an arcade in there, I think. A bunch of stuff to do. Maybe it's fun.
Starting point is 02:46:27 I want to go horseback riding in the Rocky Mountains. That sounds like fun to me. I'll do that. I rode horses as a kid. Went to horse camp. I can ride. I'll ride a horse. I used to go to dude ranches as a child. I very much liked it.
Starting point is 02:46:43 I wasn't good or anything. I could gallop, but they'd help me on the horse. That's my level of expertise. And I really liked urban cowboy. If we do an escape, that was fun. If we do an escape,
Starting point is 02:46:54 no, no escape room. If you get a good one, I'd go with you, Taylor. I'll do an escape room with you, dude. They're awful.
Starting point is 02:47:00 They're awful. I've done what he's like. I still get emails from that place. Are you serious? Yes. Four years ago. Wait, wait. Now, when you say they're awful, are you saying you hate escape rooms or that escape room was awful? That escape room was awful. I've been to one.
Starting point is 02:47:15 It was very stupid. I've been to multiple, and it's never been something I've – it's been my idea, but I've been brought to multiple escape rooms. One of them downtown here was actually really neat. Like they like built it out. Like it was like a room and like an ancient Greek kind of thing. And you had to move this mosaic around and then a wall opened and you go into something they made look like a cave. It's like,
Starting point is 02:47:37 it was, it was pretty neat. The one that we did was so fucking stupid. We were, we overthought everything. We were like, it can't be as easy as counting it's got to have correlated numbers to the letter and so we're like trying to use a cipher and then like at one point the lady comes in and is like it's just just turn the knob
Starting point is 02:47:58 just come over here and like and we just left we left everybody hated it she was like she was like we ran out of time. You know, you have a time limit. And she was like, do you want me to show you how, you know, you finish? And I was literally like, no, I don't fucking care. Like, can we just leave? Can we leave? Can we go get high?
Starting point is 02:48:16 You sound a little bit rude. Like, why would I care? Why would I care? He didn't say it like that. He said, no, thank you. Okay. Yeah. I didn't like he said no thank you yeah okay yeah i didn't say you've been working on this puzzle for two hours would you like to see the solution no it's like no i i mean i'm the paying customer right it's like you know how it ends like you're not are you getting pleasure from showing me like i didn't care enough to try to figure it out do you think i
Starting point is 02:48:43 care enough to sit here and watch you explain it to me we all saw the third grade field trip complete it successfully and you're just rubbing it into us yeah i just did not fucking care um so yeah at this point um i think i talked to chocolate thunder i talked to dirty nice uh fish and ari and uh i think i i uh and Ari. And I think I, I, I know those guys pretty well. Yeah. I told them, I told them they're welcome to come. And so like me and those guys and Chiz for sure. And you two, if you want,
Starting point is 02:49:15 we're going to get a pretty big house for a week. Then after that week, I'm bringing the OG discord boys, like scum and MIDIdy and DJ and ZT if they want to come and that group of people. And we're going to do a week at the big house. So it's just a big version of the Patreon hangout. You're just six people after a week. Yeah, you get a lot of value when you're a $50 patron.
Starting point is 02:49:44 I'm going to do everything I can to get to that first week Yeah, you get a lot of value when you're a $50 patron. You can buy good stuff. Everything I can to get to that first week. That sounds like a lot of fun. So you guys could come during the week where it's like those guys, or you could come during the week where it's the other guys, like Mitty and those fellas. But I figured I'd split the two groups because otherwise it's just a huge group of people.
Starting point is 02:50:05 And they don't all know each other super well. Like each group is really tight with each other, but not so much with the intermixing. Separate but equal. That's what I always say. Not a lot of cross-pollination in those groups. Not a lot of cross-pollination. I like everybody, but not always a two-way street. So the second week like
Starting point is 02:50:25 i said scum midi zt dj guys like that that i've known for like four years um do a week with them and chis is staying for the whole amount of time like as long as i stay chis will be there um so if you guys want to come you can do week one group week two group uh and then after that there's gonna be a re-evaluation period with me and Chiz where we're going to say, all right, how much longer do we want to stay? And does anybody else
Starting point is 02:50:53 want to stay for another month? Because the answer to question A is four more weeks at least. And so Chiz and I will get a much more reasonable place that's like $50 a night or something. When you do a month-long stay on Airbnb,
Starting point is 02:51:10 you can save a huge amount of money, like $1,500 a month, but gets you a really, really nice house on Airbnb. So we'll do a place like that, and I'll stay for a whole month. So I'm staying for like six weeks as soon as i'm
Starting point is 02:51:25 allowed um to to leave the state october the latest right yeah i think october 8th so like maybe on the 9th i'm free like everything's all done or maybe the 10th so like 8th 9th 10th something like that and then uh you know from the 10th to the, I don't know, 45 days thereafter, I will be gone. And Denver. That's exciting. Sunshine State. Well, you know, it doesn't matter to you. You'll be inside getting high.
Starting point is 02:51:58 You know, I'll do some activities. But look, you know, like I always say, like, like the, the main act, weed is the activity is the activity enhancer. As long as, as long as I can have it, I'll do anything else. So if I can get one of those vape pens, like we wouldn't play putt, putt, uh, mini golf, uh, for the, for those that don't know what putt, putt is. I don't know if everybody calls it that last time. And, uh, and I, I had this little vape pen that you could refill
Starting point is 02:52:25 and i you know i just had weed and something like this that you could smoke in public and nobody would smell it or it wouldn't because i i don't like that i was walking in my neighborhood yesterday maybe this morning dude was smoking a joint in his front yard and i could smell it and i could see him and i was just like yo what's what's up? Oh God, don't breathe, don't breathe. Like trying to get past this guy fucking smoking in the fucking broad daylight. But yeah, I'll do anything as long as I bring a vape pen.
Starting point is 02:52:56 But anything that works like, ah, yeah, so we don't allow those here or if there's some way that, no way that I could get my vape pen there, I'm not doing it, but I'll ride horses. I'll ride ATV, snowmobiles,
Starting point is 02:53:09 a putt, putt, top golf, paintball, whatever. As long as I've got a vape pen, paintball would be fun. But yeah,
Starting point is 02:53:17 top golf is a good idea. That's a good thing to do with the group. I'm so down to go hit golf balls and get drunk at top golf. Do you golf much? It sounds like you like golf. Maybe I'm, okay. Maybe it's just. I have fun at driving ranges.
Starting point is 02:53:30 I've been to a driving range before, and it wasn't any fun at all. It was just, you just hit the ball, you watched it go, and then you did that again. I like it too. I'm not good at golf, but I know how to swing. And it's like I hit it and it's like, okay, that was pretty bad. You readjust and you can see yourself getting better at it as you're going
Starting point is 02:53:51 and then dramatically worse once you get to like two drunk. We got into it when I was like maybe 16 to 18, something like that. And we would go to pawn shops and just get progressively more expensive drivers. I don't have any clubs. I've got a driver. And, you know, we would just fucking crack balls in the field, and we'd go to the local driving range and just knock the fuck out of them. And it's a very satisfying sound and feel when you hit the sweet spot,
Starting point is 02:54:23 just like baseball. When you hit a baseball, just right. It's a very nice feeling and it feels so good. It's, it's like, oh man, I creamed that fucking thing.
Starting point is 02:54:34 I hit it right in the sweet spot and it sounds really cool. And golf is similar in that way. It's like when you hit one nice and straight and just right in the sweet spot and then it fucking sails out there it's very sad that sharp sound when you hit the golf ball just right it like sounds like a like you're powering up it's like a tinny loud sound but you need to be good at golf to get that sound so i don't hear it often i was gonna say maybe it's less fun for me because I'm so bad. My swing, you know how if you swing it right and you sort of finish up high? If you're bad at it, it almost swings behind you like a baseball bat? Yeah.
Starting point is 02:55:14 I'm closer to that. I discovered after a good bit of practice, because I never had a teacher or anything, that taking like 25% off my gave made me so much better like it'll go further sometimes just focusing on form instead of like happy gilmore crushing it yeah i at the time i was doing i was this i was a long time i was in my 20s and i was pretty athletic looking guy and some fat dude who must have been 67 was crushing it. I'm like, is this even a sport? I could beat this guy in any other sport, I'm sure of it.
Starting point is 02:55:50 He's killing me. Knock off. He does that maneuver 50 times an hour while he's there. Did you guys follow the Tiger Woods thing? Not since the first day. I read his statement and apparently like his legs the way he
Starting point is 02:56:08 said it the legs were pretty fucked up it was like yeah with a series of rods and screws and poles and also we had to do surgery on soft tissue because it was some of the muscle was so smashed it had to be like that's a serious fucking wreck yeah it is it doesn't sound like he'd be playing golf anytime soon maybe he's one of those guys who like had his body insured for someone got not that he needs money but like maybe he had his like a bill like ability to not to to golf you know whatever some body part uh insured for some ungodly amount of money because i can't think of where i've heard that before but i've definitely heard like maybe a pitcher or something like had their arm i bet taylor can fill it in but there was a hockey player
Starting point is 02:56:56 and i think he lost an eye and he had his he had a lot of insurance. It covered him. And it turns out that one-eyed, he's good enough to get back in the NHL. And he had to repay or lose a ton of insurance money that they paid out to him. He lost his eye in a hockey game, got the insurance, made it back into the NHL, and had to return. It was a bad financial decision to be a professional athlete, but it's what he wanted. I didn't know that. I would not think you could be a pro athlete with one eye in i can't the only sport i could think was maybe it's sports where you close an eye you know like like like target shooting or something i think you need both eyes well the distance doesn't change so you but but like anything
Starting point is 02:57:41 where you're like hitting hitting something or catching something or throwing something, I think you need both eyes. Oh, yeah. I mean, he still plays for one of the worst teams in the league. He plays for the Chicago Blackhawks right now. Who are you talking about? The guy who has his vision in one eye, Carl Soderbergh. Apparently a high stick detached his left eye retina when he was 21 and he still has
Starting point is 02:58:08 played in the NHL since 2012. There's more than one. I sent a link. Did I send it? No, it didn't. That doesn't have to do with hockey. No, it doesn't. Let me send it. That was a topic. I don't like it. I didn't even know Carl Soderbergh's eyes were so big.
Starting point is 02:58:26 So Brian Berard, he played for the Rangers, and he had a devastating eye injury. And yeah, the insurance companies, the way I remember it, he had to pay it back. But they wanted $18 million back from him because he didn't lose his ability to play hockey no that's trash he lost an eye give him a break i don't know uh i'm scanning to figure out what happened
Starting point is 02:58:56 he lost it while playing for the maple leaves losing sight in his eye uh he signed a waiver agreeing to repay the money and was barred from ever attempting to recoup it. Yeah, so dude, he had to pay the money back. Yeah, that sucks. He shouldn't have
Starting point is 02:59:18 to. Maybe he should. Yeah, right? I mean, I feel like you're like, you know what? As an act of kindness i'm going to give this guy this guy's money insurance company they got enough right right it doesn't have enough player yeah you know i was watching last night on stream just kind of wild hair up my ass kind of idea i'm like you know what know what? There's a Blues game. I'm going to stream myself watching it and talking to people, and enough people like hockey in my chat that they'll watch it on their own stream or something.
Starting point is 02:59:52 And so we did that, and I was, like, bitching the whole time. We got smashed by the Kings. Well, it was only 2-1, but the Blues looked terrible. They're half team because they're so injured. And I was bitching on there, like, they'd be doing better if it wasn't for fucking all their good players being out and now we're dealing with you know one of our last nhl level defenseman scandela back here he wouldn't be on the team if we had a full lineup and then like two minutes later some guy on their team takes a big like shot ring around the boards deflects off one of our guys sticks and hits scandela in the face and he
Starting point is 03:00:25 goes down is bleeding all over the ice and then he immediately goes to the locker room and it's like now we're just out of nhl defense just like i was trying to commentate and like so when like one of our lines that still people who can play i was like oh you know perron top of the point back to o'reilly o'reilly down to parade like whatever was. And then the other ones I was trying to commentate, and I'm like, 53? Who the hell are these people? They're doing really well, but who the fuck? I was Googling people. I had no idea. Sometimes call-ups overperform, though.
Starting point is 03:00:58 I don't know. It's a while ago. But when I used to watch the Flyers and there was a call-up, I'm like, dude, that guy is given 100% tonight. That guy is trying to earn a spot on the Flyers. This is an opportunity of a lifetime for him. And, you know, sometimes they do well. True. Yeah, because they are going balls to the wall 100%, as would anyone.
Starting point is 03:01:21 But the problem is sometimes, you you know trying really hard isn't enough there's a reason that you're 26 and still playing for an ahl team because a middling nhl middle six player just made you look like a fool like just some guy with no wheels just blew by you so yeah season's going bad at this point. Colorado's not doing too well either. Blues and Colorado have been slipping, but they'll bounce back before the end of the year as long as – I don't know what's up with Colorado. I'm looking forward to them playing each other.
Starting point is 03:01:55 That's what I was – Yeah, finally, if they – there was some COVID thing that bounced them away from each other for like two months, so I don't know when they play again. Let's see. Hopefully soon. The Blues need to bounce back. Actually, no, hopefully not soon because Colorado's a good fucking team.
Starting point is 03:02:08 But do you want the Blues to bounce back or get a draft pick? They're not going to suck bad enough to get a good draft pick, so I'd rather them bounce back. Really? The way you tell it, they're awful. They're an AHL team. But see, they won't be an AHL team the whole season.
Starting point is 03:02:24 Once the team comes back, they'll win enough that they'll get a middling pick. It's March, though. It's not literally March, but it's almost March. I think there's, what are we, 20 games into the season? So there's like 34 games left. So 36 games left. So there's good time to see. Okay.
Starting point is 03:02:43 We'll see. I'm just happy hockey season's back. It's given me so much more content to watch. It's great. I've been watching Mission Impossible a bit lately. Kyle said it was, I don't want to misquote him, but something like the best action movie series that exists. It was high praise.
Starting point is 03:02:59 That's it. So I was like, you know, I don't think I've seen them. And I checked it out. I saw Ghost Protocol. Good stuff. Good stuff. I enjoyed it. So I was like, you know, I don't think I've seen them. And I checked it out. I saw Ghost Protocol. Good stuff. Good stuff. I enjoyed it. The one with Henry Cavill is real good.
Starting point is 03:03:13 He's got a mustache. It's the infamous mustache that caused the Superman Justice League to have the Uncanny Valley CGI mustache removal nonsense. Is that a recent one? i guess it would be it might be the most recent one um tom cruise and henry cavill have a fight on board a helicopter where they're just like inside the helicopter and under the helicopter and just i'm sure it's but that sounds like a bit of a mismatch in real life. My money's on Henry. Yeah. Yeah. Mine is too. Henry's a big boy and, and, and, and younger and a fitter, but Tom Cruise climbs a rope. The helicopter is flying and Tom Cruise is on a rope underneath it. And he's really, I'm sure he's attached of course with safety cables. But he's climbing a rope under a flying helicopter in midair and climbs in. And it's just like, oh, my God.
Starting point is 03:04:13 He does not need to be doing this. He is doing this for the love of the game, man. It impresses me when they do that. There's two that I have in mind. It impresses me when they do that. There's two that I have in mind. Apparently, Keanu Reeves actually has some noteworthy martial arts and what I'll call gun-fu skills. Absolutely.
Starting point is 03:04:31 He's actually good at that. Tom Cruise, I saw him skydiving. And he did a skydiving thing with a chubby late-night host. Jimmy Kimmel? Nope. Blonde hair. The other one. Sings well.
Starting point is 03:04:45 Yeah. I don't watch any of that shit. But he does Carvel Karaoke. People don't know who he is. James? James Cobell? Carvel? That's a political dude. Yeah, exactly.
Starting point is 03:04:58 He's the raging Cajun. I'm just going to assert. James Corden. That's it. Anyway. James Corden. That's it. Anyway, James Corden, not a skydiver. Tom Cruise, clearly a skydiver. Halo jumper.
Starting point is 03:05:13 Okay. He had all his own gear. I don't know how to put it into words, just how comfortable and experienced he was in that situation. But apparently cruz has thousands of jumps motorcycles too okay yeah and he's a pro rider he's a pro runner he's a pro skydiver climber he's fighter he's a stunt man and there's like there are people who do their own stunts and sometimes that means they do the easy stunts i do my own fake fighting at a bar with tons of cut scenes and you know like it's a different thing than i jump from
Starting point is 03:05:52 building to building i'm the skydiver i am the dude on the cables running outside of a skyscraper that's a different hanging on the side of that airplane did you see that one yes he did that he did that so like i don't know i would be one of those i do my own stunts meaning i'm the guy that slid across the hood of that car yeah that's uh that's a different level than what yeah i don't like i don't like tom cruise i don't think i would want to be in a room with him other than just to say i've been in a room with tom cruise but i don't think that like i would choose to be friends with tom cruise other than like whatever benefits you get from being friends with conference but him as a person i don't think i would like him i think i would
Starting point is 03:06:32 i think i would hate him i bet he's very charismatic i bet he can tell a story if he wants to be sure yeah yeah i bet he's weird i think the scientology thing is a creepy cult that he is neck deep in i i think he's real weird about women i think he's an odd odd little man i'm open to the idea oh there was more do you want to i want him in my movies i i love his movies i think that scientology obviously a terrible deal if i join it right i'm one of those guys that gives all their money. Maybe it's a good deal if you're Tom Cruise. Great deal for Tom Cruise. If you're at the top of the food chain,
Starting point is 03:07:12 Scientology provides your lawn mowing service and your maids and your this and your that. You know they got him all of his women, right? I did not know that. They find those women for him. Like Katie Holmes?
Starting point is 03:07:26 Yeah. Yeah, yeah. They like groom those women and pick them out and like, ah, she's a fit for Tom. Okay. So she'll be in New York and we'll get Tom to be here. And like they set the whole thing up and like put the pieces together for Tom. Yeah. Katie Holmes was on my list.
Starting point is 03:07:44 You know, I've talked about how Emma Watson, I think, is one of the better Hollywood women. put the pieces together for Tom. Katie Holmes was on my list. I've talked about how Emma Watson, I think, is one of the better Hollywood women. Katie Holmes was on that list too. I always thought she was really cool. I think she's got resting retard face. Her eyes are just dumb. She looks like
Starting point is 03:07:59 she's got Terry Shivo face or something. I don't find her to be... Look, she's pretty. Don't get me wrong. Like, you know, don't get me wrong. I've seen the topless photos of her when she's wearing that weird strappy thing. And like, she's got a pretty face. But she's got dopey eyes.
Starting point is 03:08:19 Something about her face. And she's like, I don't know, kind of an... She's just got kind of a dumb look on her face all the fucking time i thought nicole kidman was beautiful i'm a big fan of nicole kidman uh uh that was his maybe his first wife i know they were married for quite a while all right so it's funny i i never saw it until you said that. And I'm seeing, I'm showing pictures to everybody. Mostly they're posed. She's very pretty. I mean, even at our level, we've spent, God, what have we spent? 3000 hours in front of a camera at this point. You know what you look like,
Starting point is 03:09:00 you know, your angles, you know, your whatever. I i'm sure she's there but there are a few like candids where it's like oh yeah she has some sort of like unattractive weird resting face thing it's it's not great yeah she looks dopey um and i don't think she is dopey like i she she seems intelligent talented um beautiful fit, fit, all of the above. But she's also, if we're talking about like Tom Cruise kind of is picking his lady or being assigned one by the Church of Scientology with their resources, eh, could have done a little better, I think. He knows what he did. He grabbed Katie's best 12 years and then cast her aside.
Starting point is 03:09:46 Have you seen that chart of when he gets with these women and when he dumps them? Is that Cruz's or DiCaprio's? Oh, shit. That's right. I think they both have similar patterns. Okay. I think it's like DiCaprio's the one who doesn't go over 25 ever. That's hilarious. 25 is pretty young like you
Starting point is 03:10:07 can't stay with a girl very long if you don't want her to pass 25 that's what his life is as long as it's on your morals 1920 21 22 10 15 years i wonder if his uh i wonder if his um his ideal range will change as he ages, right? I just think at 48, 18-year-olds are literally uninteresting children to you at that point, mostly. There's going to be exceptions, I suppose. There's an interesting survey, or I don't think it was a study, or self-report survey that showed it was like perceived level of attractiveness and desirability and what they found is that women pretty consistently you know want someone a few years older than them throughout life until you get to like 50s and then like
Starting point is 03:11:00 even a 65 year old woman's like yeah I don't want a 68 year old man I'm gonna like younger guy and so it shows like there's like a curve like this. Then it kind of goes back down again a little bit. And the guys, every single age prefers like 21. It's like the ideal age range for you, Mr. McGillicuddy. You're 81. Oh, 21. It just shows it's like a pillar, like a straight line.
Starting point is 03:11:25 It's like, oh, 35-year-olds actually prefer 20-year-olds. Interesting. It's so funny to see. It's evolution, I guess, right? Yeah, that's what it is. Oh, yeah. It's the fertility years. You know, though, if it were straight up a function of fertility,
Starting point is 03:11:41 what would the year be? Would it be 16? I tried to stop him. i tried to stop him i'm just look i'm going bio here society says i don't know woody what what age would you prefer for fertility it's not about me and my oh it is now well i guess they get fertile at 12. Peek's probably around like 18, right? What's peak female? I don't know. It's probably 16, man.
Starting point is 03:12:14 It's probably 15, 16. Late teens and early 20s. Why would an 18-year-old be more fertile than a 15-year-old? It seems like the 15-year-old has the freshest eggs. I have no idea. No, like, it is clearly, like, growing into being fertile, right? Right, so day one's not their best day, right?
Starting point is 03:12:38 Like, if women become fertile at 12, I don't think that's their best. Why not? I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. this because that you don't think their first egg might be their best maybe i don't know but that site said late teens this one says after puberty female fertility increases then decreases and that ties into peaking at late teens early 20s I'll look for another source decreasing probably like 30s
Starting point is 03:13:08 30 and you know I think ISIS has some good paperwork on this they have a couple studies the Mormons I think are the way to go well the Mormons have the more the merrier kind of policy they're like
Starting point is 03:13:24 who cares? Just get five or six and spaghetti on the wall. I found another site that says 18, but I'm very suspicious that it happens to be like the first legal adulthood year is their most. Like, you know what? It really is pretty great at 18. Hey, let's figure this out. What is peak female fertility in England? I want to know where it is in like American Indians, right?
Starting point is 03:13:48 Like that's the whole no rules. Because am I crazy? I want to say that they pair up at like 14 and have babies at 16. And like this is I'm talking about 300 years. On the reservations? No, like before Europeans came to America. Well, they had a life expectancy of like 30 years ago. On the reservations? No, like before Europeans came to America. Oh. Well, they had a life expectancy of like 30 years probably,
Starting point is 03:14:08 so probably for the best. For millennia, women have been getting pregnant and bearing children in their teens and early 20s. Not much different from the Crepina Neanderthals living in the northern... Well, that's not fucking helpful, dude. I have a new thing. Give me a number.
Starting point is 03:14:24 I guarantee it's like immediately after puberty. Here's a counter argument. In their early teens, girls have irregular ovulation resulting in irregular menstrual cycles. But by age 16, they've established regular ovulation and regular periods, etc. It sounds like women get a little better at making eggs. Consistently. regular periods etc it sounds like women get a little better at making eggs consistently but that still doesn't answer like when they are most fertile when their eggs are the best is that i think that's the real question which egg is best egg the brand new egg that we just dropped that first one a new egg just dropped.
Starting point is 03:15:06 I found two more sites that both say 20s. I am still suspicious that they're trying to be politically correct. Look, you know, I'm not trying to be gross here or weird. I'm just saying, like,
Starting point is 03:15:24 with my limited knowledge of female reproduction, it just seems like why wouldn't that first egg be the best egg? Because I do know this. This I do know. The final few eggs This I do know. This I do know.
Starting point is 03:15:40 The last half dozen eggs are shit. You don't want one of those. they're rotten eggs from the get-go those eggs have been sitting on that you know you know the shelves uh how the fridge has those like that one egg shelf some of the older fridges where you can actually has a thing. They've been sitting in the back of that motherfucker for 40 fucking years. She's 57. This is her last one. That's a loser of an egg.
Starting point is 03:16:14 That's a loser of an egg. That kid's going to have all kinds of fucking issues. That kid won't have issues. Hey, this is where the origin is. The last one's a rotten egg. This is probably what they're talking about. And you know the history of that.
Starting point is 03:16:30 Comes from women becoming useless after a rotten egg has passed through. Look, that's what I'm basing this whole theory on, really, is that if the final few eggs are garbage eggs then and i'm not basing that on some sort of like jokey like sexism or something like that it's a known thing that like women who uh conceive at in their later years uh those eggs produce offspring with with issues. Although a woman in her 40s may still be ovulating, the eggs are of poorer quality.
Starting point is 03:17:17 As a woman ages, the percentage of eggs with genetic abnormalities will increase. This leads to a decrease in fertility, an increase in miscarriage, and an increase in having a chromosomally abnormal baby, like Down syndrome, if pregnancy does occur. There are exceptions to every rule, and it's scary, but keep in mind, one day you'll run out of eggs. Well, I won't. Yeah, I won't. Not my problem. I use egg beaters.
Starting point is 03:17:36 Just like every guy in that survey, we can just hard scope 21. You know the best thing about college, girls? I keep getting older and they keep dating me. Just some 81-year-old fucking creep. That's Matthew McConaughey. Yeah. I was fucking 16-year-olds before it was cool.
Starting point is 03:17:58 Matthew, you shouldn't say that. No, it was in England. It was cool. It was fine. I was... Mr. Clinton, was it on an island that was uh i was uh i also like lincoln's so male fertility declines in their 40s and it drops one to two percent a year i feel personally attacked oh so you're lucky you minus yeah i guess I'm not peak anymore.
Starting point is 03:18:30 I wish I could find a way to increase my fertility. Just get a vasectomy. Why don't you just chemically castrate yourself? Okay, that's different. I know. You just show up i'll show us up all i watch more plates more dates videos all the time right and one thing he says he's like you know guys get on trd and they act like it's this crazy super duper thing but we constantly
Starting point is 03:18:58 chemically castrate female like teenage girls all the time and it's just normal and i'm like damn i never looked at it through that lens we do just chemically castrate 15 year olds 17 year olds and no one blinks an eye for what when this is birth control pills oh yeah yeah see now i look at it through that lens just chemically altering the hormonal uh system of of a human being and it's like basically over the counter at this point with the birth control like like you can it's it's it's just handed out willy-nilly and it's seen as a thing of it uh it's just like sex toys you know like it's like it's like yeah i've got a sex toy i'm empowered what about you you got one yeah but don't tell anybody i don't want anybody to laugh at me you know that's it's like uh that's a good parallel yeah
Starting point is 03:19:50 and yeah like there's a reason like every girl i've ever talked to you've ever talked when they're like i was on a birth control once that made me fucking crazy and i had to get every girl every girl has a story like that where they got control it makes them crazy and or it makes them feel out of the loop like foggy minded something and it's like depressed yeah that's because you are changing enormously important hormones in a serious way like you need that to be on balance in a lot of ways of course you throw that out of out of the out of the loop you're not going to feel good I don't know if we had kept experimenting, if we would have found something that worked for Jackie, but she basically had morning sickness all the time. Earth control pills had that impact on her. She's throwing up and sick and is nauseous.
Starting point is 03:20:36 She had nonstop morning sickness. We're like, well, this isn't for us. It's not for us either. I'm going to roll the dice still. The IUD seems to be the way to go if you're not going to get a tubal ligation. Yes. A tube tie is dangerous. Way more dangerous than a vasectomy.
Starting point is 03:20:57 Is it? Yeah. I think there's a... Really, orthoscopic surgery is more dangerous than an insertable device? Oh, no, I was saying than a... Probably the orthoscopic surgery is more dangerous than an insertable device. Oh, no, I was saying then vasectomy. Oh, then a vasectomy. Yeah, that too.
Starting point is 03:21:12 Yeah, the vasectomy is a lot more kind of, you know, hop in, do it, and get out. Yeah, because your balls are external, right? They're already out there to work on, whereas they go in through the belly button with a tubal ligation. I didn't even know that's what it was called yeah that would be nerve wracking to have your scrotum cut open I don't think I make a very tiny cut
Starting point is 03:21:31 and they go in with the again orthoscopically you know the little things in the camera and do the thing it makes that noise yeah I look I guess I want one like a vasectomy but god damn it if I don't really want to do it just pull and pray I just get a kick out of the idea of being really crude with the description, right? Like, you know, what's your birth control plan?
Starting point is 03:22:12 I come on her face. Yeah, I try not to bust inside. Sometimes they're tits, sometimes they're belly button, but, you know, my kinks are mine and now, you know. Yeah, it's always like for safety i always come in the tittle region can't get pregnant small of her back you know back unsuspecting on her face while she's asleep it's just like like oh that that is what the method actually means. I think it literally is a crime.
Starting point is 03:22:47 No. Nine years ago, I got blanket consent to do that sort of shit. It holds up in court. Literally a crime. Literally a crime. Ah. Ah.
Starting point is 03:23:04 I don't think so I wish that worked in court of law I don't know my client insists what he did was legal well if he insists holy fuck this works god damn it Yosemite Sam I'm glad I hired you Now this works.
Starting point is 03:23:26 Now, Yosemite, Sam, I'm glad I hired you. You must acquit. You know, then, and he was taken.
Starting point is 03:23:41 These are ropes of love showing. Ropes of love. So IUDs last longer than I thought they did. I thought there was a five-year cap, but I see some of them are good for seven and 12 years, which is a pretty good chunk of life. Yeah. If you're like, yeah, we use this from 30 to 42,
Starting point is 03:24:00 then fuck. I can feel it, though. You don't want this? I can feel it. It feels like don't want that i can feel it it feels like uh you're there's a one of those fish lures that has the little dangly uh plastic things it's literally that in there you can and you don't want that because you don't want to be feeling plastic with your penis yeah it's not ideal no and it's diaphragm is also rather uncomfortable but like
Starting point is 03:24:29 none of them are perfect except pull and pray which of course is without flaw pull and pray so far 100% I every day I say a little prayer to that's why it's working actually yeah I say a little prayer to the dark Lord. That's why it's working, actually.
Starting point is 03:24:45 Yeah, I say a little prayer to the Dark Lord that you're a girl. You do the pray. Keep growing up to the Dark Lord. Keep until I want a kid. And then, man, it'd be kind of funny if I was sterile this whole time. Kid question, Taylor. So let's say you do decide that it's time to have kids. What is your target family?
Starting point is 03:25:11 Do you want three, one, five boys and girls, all boys, all girls? I haven't given, I definitely want two or three kids. I wouldn't want one because everybody, all my friends who are only children were like, Oh, you don't know how lucky you were to have brothers and the stuff to like hang out with and do things with. Like I was so fucking bored all the time.
Starting point is 03:25:34 Like I have two of my very close friends, uh, we're both, uh, single children and they got married and now they're my age and they just had their third kid. Like they wanted to have a big family because they both really, really despised like feeling alone and not having siblings.
Starting point is 03:25:48 So at least two, three might be ideal depending on how life's going. So I would, I'd say three, two or three would be that. And I want at least one son. I don't care if it's a son and two girls, a man child.
Starting point is 03:26:03 You're like, I don't need any girls, but I need one boy. Do I have that right? Yep. Yeah, I need at least one boy. I will settle between one, two, and three boys. Yep. I'll settle for that.
Starting point is 03:26:14 I'm fine with it. And it's like, apparently it's the man's sperm that determines the sex of the child. And so. I like to believe that the woman has chosen. You gave her a billion choices. and it's really her fault. Isn't that funny? Back in the day, you should behead her.
Starting point is 03:26:31 Be some king. He's like, give me another daughter. And it's like pumping nothing but lady semen into her and getting pissed off. Statistically improbable. She should have chosen the male sperm. Yeah. What the hell, ladies?
Starting point is 03:26:46 Get it together. So I'll just need to tell my wife at the time to be like, just focus. Look at me. Focus. Make it a son. Give me. Oh, I don't know if I told. You know, we have George Foreman, who's oddly a girl.
Starting point is 03:27:05 She's having a baby brother, and Jackie's pretty excited about it. Will you be watching the baby brother often? Yeah, I don't know the exact schedule over that, but at some point we'll be watching the two of them. Does Jackie enjoy it a lot?
Starting point is 03:27:20 Yeah, she's all about it. She's all about it. I don't know. She's born for that. Is it nice? Because I'm sure you're kind of... Yeah, she's all about it. She's all about it. I don't know. She's born for that. Yeah. Is it nice? Because I'm sure you're kind of, are you very disinterested? Like, it's not really on your radar, kind of like, oh, yeah. I get to engage and disengage as I see fit, right?
Starting point is 03:27:39 So if she's this sparkling, like, happy child, she calls me Uncle Woody. You know, Uncle Woody, Uncle Woody. And I pick her up and I shake her and I hold her by her feet and I throw her across the this sparkling like happy child she calls me uncle woody you know uncle woody uncle woody and i pick her up and i shake her and i hold her by her feet and i throw her across the room on the couch and she's laughy laughy laughy and then when i'm done i'm like here you go all riled up it's on you this is i am every now i was trying to play and i heard her it's your problem if she's cranky or whatever that is just 100 of jackie thing uh i i just i slice off the frosting of that cake and let jackie do all the work that's the best way that's exactly what i would be doing yeah every once in a blue moon there's a like i actually have to help but that's i mean it probably like it hasn't happened 2021 to give you an example of how common that is. It's about to be March.
Starting point is 03:28:25 Yeah, yeah. But. It hasn't happened this year. So I just, you know, whatever, chip in when I feel like it. I was, this is a different thing, but I was watching like Joe Rogan clips on YouTube where he was having like you know fitness guys talk about lifting and different strategies and thoughts and that and of course you know youtube autoplay is it gets you into the weeds and before i know it like i'm lifting and i'm hearing joe talk to some guy about like the carnivore diet of like the which is literally just you eat nothing but meat and
Starting point is 03:29:00 like it was it was funny like it's a couple different clips because i got fascinated with it did it make him more aggressive taylor did it make him aggressive yeah make him more now joe you fucking lunatic yeah and like uh the first guy i was talking to was all about like and you don't even need vegetables and you don't need this and what you need is meat you just need to balance the kinds of meat you have you need the right saturated fat you need blah blah blah and of course joe is usually like a sounding board and it's kind of like that's interesting okay tell me more about it and then there was another one where like he was talking to someone who's like yeah i mean i guess if it works for you but it doesn't really make any sense
Starting point is 03:29:33 at all you know i'm a real dietician it doesn't this doesn't make any sense and joe's like it's like he clicked for him he's like yeah broccoli's not gonna hurt you like would it ruin your whole day if you put a little broccoli on the plate next to the meat like really like and it was just that kind of like dumb joe rogan simplicity it's like yeah this this shit doesn't make any sense and it's like the big like oh this works for someone was jordan peterson he's like now this worked for jordan peterson it's like no probably not probably not. Probably not.
Starting point is 03:30:06 You know, this guy was having problems with things before that, and he probably still is continuing to now. There's no way that switching to all chicken and just excising asparagus from your diet is making tremendous gains for you. Like, I just, it doesn't make any sense. Even like this pop kind of nutrition. Did he claim the carnivore diet brought his hair back? Am I right on that?
Starting point is 03:30:25 It cured his autoimmune disease and caused his hair to grow back? Are you familiar with Jordan Peterson's hairline? I don't know about the hairline. I would assume that's because he was made a ton of money and he's just putting it back. But the autoimmune thing I did hear, Joe mentioned that. And I just don't believe it. and I just don't believe it. I believe that maybe getting rid of processed carbs got rid of some of his inflammation
Starting point is 03:30:48 and feelings of soreness or pain or whatever. That makes sense, but really, it's the meat. Getting rid of sweet potatoes and Brussels sprouts and green beans did this. Really? No. There's no fucking way. Stopping eating chips and popeyes did this so i guess not even pop or i guess they could eat popeyes if they peeled all the good parts off
Starting point is 03:31:10 yeah it gets grilled popeyes no i don't i don't care if it's a fucking miracle cure there's no fucking way i would want to just eat meat and animal product what how much of that fuck up your gi tract too like eating and it's not even just animal product at first you'd have diarrhea continuously but like you'd adjust to it after a while um i i'm sure but um the thing would be like i don't know i like salads a lot like like like i like like a spring salad mix with some vinaigrette or something like that. It's really filling. It's tasty. I like that.
Starting point is 03:31:49 I like carbs. Sweet potatoes and rice. Carbs rock. Beans and bread and pasta. Those things are... I think you need those things in your diet for a balanced diet. Even the other carbs. The fruits, the grapes, the melons, the pineapple.
Starting point is 03:32:06 Oh, shit. I'm sure there's an answer for everything, but I would question where do you get your vitamin C? Where do you get some really important nutrients and micronutrients and vitamins if you're only eating animal products
Starting point is 03:32:26 and i'm sure there's answers to those like like oh we'll see you bone marrow is full of vitamin c and it's like shit well okay i guess give me a heaping portion of bone marrow then but it's like i'd rather just eat an orange yeah that tastes better anyway i'd i'd assume yeah i would think you'd have some grapes but or some blueberries or whatever for for these you know it just doesn't it doesn't pass the smell test it doesn't pass the smell test whatsoever like i feel like it maybe it's too extreme like maybe jordan peterson was eating absolute shit and trash pizzas all the time and then just goes whole hog into carnivore and now attributes all of his successes to
Starting point is 03:33:09 dropping the processed sugars instead of like you know the meat if you watch um dropping the process what's his name uh tennyson on uh on youtube he does this a lot he tests out various diets he's done the carnivore diet i think maybe even for a whole month at least a week he does that a lot he's like i he'll have videos like his name tennyson his last name's tennyson he's uh i don't know in his 20s real real ripped guy like like not like overly ripped i think he's natural um he does like workout stuff a lot of diet nutrition information some cooking stuff uh slips in some like dirty jokes while he does like workout stuff, a lot of diet and nutrition information, some cooking stuff, uh, slips in some like dirty jokes while he does it kind of fun involves his family.
Starting point is 03:33:51 His mom's real fit and she's like in her late forties, no, maybe fifties or something like that. Like she's an older, um, lady, uh, very fit, you know, like, but, but anyway, um, I'd be like, yeah, I cut out all refined sugar for a month and this is what happened and you know he'll show like what happened to his weight or his body composition throughout that time but he does that with a number of things like maybe he goes atkins or maybe he goes carnivore or um you know just cutting out or adding in various things and he'll do fun videos that are like 20 000 calorie cheat cheat day uh he's friends with greg doucette uh they do some content together
Starting point is 03:34:31 uh i i like him i i can't i think of his first name it's it's will tennyson i was about to say will yeah yeah i'm on this channel yeah nice guy seemingly um i i like that he slips in some like dirty jokes and stuff like like some self-deprecating humor while he's like yeah going through his groceries or his or his eating or his workouts or whatever about carnivore do you recall or did you not watch i didn't watch it i i frankly don't give a shit about those videos uh i usually watch if he's cooking something or if he's doing like something that I'm into specifically like, oh, let's see how he feels about this. Or, you know, I've watched a few of his workout videos to see like, because he's got a great physique. He's got really good, you know, he's low body fat, probably, I don't know know striking distance of single digits you know probably 12 14 somewhere
Starting point is 03:35:29 in there i guess um and it seems like a lot of those like fitness influencers are short guys like it seems like many many of them are little guys helps you look wider and broader if you're shorter i think it's a lot easier to have a really sharp physique when you're shorter too i i like maybe your muscle inserts are more impressive or like like like greg doucette for example i think greg's a little guy five six holy shit are you kidding me i actually he's five six and a half but he calls himself five six which violates the rule you're supposed to round up yeah round up go for the five seven wow i thought his girlfriend was like six one or something like that i guess she's just a regular sized lady i
Starting point is 03:36:16 watched a lot of doucette content he's mentioned a bunch of times and they also measured his height on the he had a deca scan so it was pretty accurate dexa okay yeah um yeah he yeah i think a lot of them are real short guys a couple things i think that like you said like their muscle insertions just look a little better they don't tend to be string beanie when they're short guys and also i i feel like fitness model bodybuilder type thing where you don't compete against other men, like it lends itself to that sport. So if you're an athletic person, if you're Jeff Nippard or you're Greg Doucette or whatever, you're going to struggle in swimming or S you know, a lot of sports that were tennis, basketball, uh, you know, like football might work for those guys.
Starting point is 03:37:03 Like, like I'm always impressed by like the little running backs who are like small enough to fit through holes and stuff like that the speedy guys who are just powerhouses of compact fucking tissue yeah maybe there's a position in football where they could pull it or they could succeed like you said but by and large you know like some guy who's six foot three even though he's a little more lengthy in the biceps and doesn't have the same peak, is just can do more athlete shit. Yeah, for sure. Yeah. I just think and I think it's easier to have an impressive looking physique when you're when you're that size.
Starting point is 03:37:39 My wingspan is like 74 fucking inches. It's hard to put on enough muscle that it looks like anything. Whereas like if your wingspan is like 60 inches, which it's like, holy shit. Wow. It's like, well,
Starting point is 03:37:54 you know, I'm, I'm, I'm little. If you took my cheesy bicep, oh, you can't even see it. And,
Starting point is 03:38:01 uh, shrunk it to a five, six person's arm. It might be cool. Oh shit. Yeah't even see it. And shrunk it to a five, six person's arm. It might be cool. Oh, shit. It would just matter. The muscle keeps bolting up and up as the elbow
Starting point is 03:38:12 to shoulder shrinks down. If you were to do that, I don't know. I bet AthleanX is a little fucker, too. How tall is that bastard? Is he lying? Is he wearing false lifting shoes? You got lifts on, bro.
Starting point is 03:38:29 At the next height. He's 5'8", according to the internet. Yeah, you're right. These guys are not as tall as you imagine. No. You see them, they're all ripped as fuck. And for some reason... Like, Schwarzenegger's 6'1".
Starting point is 03:38:42 Like, you're... I don't know. 6'1", huh? Yeah. I think know 6-1 huh yeah i think he's towering inferno or anything but he's not a little guy either juji's like 5-11 i think and he is a monster yeah he's up yeah judy's back it's it's unbelievably broad it's it's shockingly big they've what's the news on so three days days ago, I was going to write you guys about this. I'm like, I'm being such a drama whore. I'll just not send it.
Starting point is 03:39:09 He hasn't uploaded a video in a month. I stop by their most recent video every so often to see is there one? Did I miss it? I enjoy their content. What's up? Jujie and Tom I think are no longer working together. They've unfollowed each other on Instagram,
Starting point is 03:39:26 and there's supposed to be an official announcement soon. So I guess I'll go to Jujie's Instagram and look for it. I did not know any of this. It still says Jujie and Tom on their YouTube channel. Yeah. What is it, Jujimufu Instagram? Yeah, I found his Instagram instagram but there's nothing like i've decided not to talk shit about people who could eat me so i'm not talking shit yeah yeah
Starting point is 03:39:53 but i was gone oh yeah yeah dude you're looking juji you're looking really small bro i uh i i just wonder what, I really enjoy their content. I wonder what the future of the channel is. I'm just, I'm a viewer who likes their stuff. And it's like, what is a Juju video without Tom in it? At first, you're like, now maybe I'm talking. Juju seems like the star of the show, right? Because he's the guy that you don't bump into every day.
Starting point is 03:40:22 You can go to the mall and there's only one Jji there but there could be a couple of toms um but now i'm like wait a minute no tom he did all the editing he did this he did that suddenly i'm missing tom and he's not even does he have a cracked version of sony vegas 10 well god damn why didn't you say so son he can clip and drag serious rendering skills i think he came up with a lot of the video ideas like when they did reacting to other uh other people's diets or you know they did like a thousand reps of biceps or something in a row and I don't know I'm just like what's it going to be without Tom I guess we'll see
Starting point is 03:41:12 yeah I mean if there's a flip book I mean if there is a rivalry I will go team Juju because he has bigger muscles. Yeah, look, I just want to see the mountain man. I'm impressed by Juju. Maybe I don't watch enough.
Starting point is 03:41:38 Maybe Tom has some charm that I just haven't picked up on watching their show. I enjoyed him when he was here. It was fun chatting with him and everything, but I really wanted to like talk to Juju mostly because like, he's, he had, he is interesting because he looks interesting. Like,
Starting point is 03:41:54 like to me, he's the draw. Like, like we talk about these other fitness YouTubers. I think their, their look and, and what they've achieved, their,
Starting point is 03:42:02 their bodies are resume to some extent. And, and like, when i look at athlean x despite the fact that ashley uses fake weights and and and gives out bullshit information and lies with his 10 million subscribers um it's a very impressive physique that requires tons of hard work and discipline. You nailed it with the discipline, work ethic, you name it, all of the above. That's his resume. And the same is true for someone with Greg DeCette, except for he's got it on paper, right? IFBB pro, you know, fucking he's got trophies and medals and shit.
Starting point is 03:42:44 And you look at somebody like Derek and he's got it in and medals and shit education and you look at somebody like derrick and he's got it in spades not only the physique but listen to the man speak for five minutes you're like not this is someone who is passionately educated is the you know like i would i would lean on his expertise as much as uh an endocrinologist because the indo is doing this because it's their job derrick's doing it because it's his fucking passion. It's what he cares about. You know, the,
Starting point is 03:43:09 the, the same way, like if I were looking for a movie suggestion, I might not pick the guy working by the, behind the counter at a blockbuster if it's still like fucking existed, but I might pick the guy whose path is a fucking cinephile. And all he does is fucking study this shit because he loves it, not because he's getting paid minimum wage to do it.
Starting point is 03:43:28 That's kind of how I look at that. And with Jujie, going back to where we started, he's a fucking – like he's gone too far, frankly. He's beyond any sense of aesthetics. He's a golem of a man, and that's fascinating. And it's fun to see him. And not only – And he's agile. Seeing him do it's fun to see him. And not only is he's agile, seeing him do it.
Starting point is 03:43:47 Yeah. He's a fucking like trick. 275. I'm guessing 270 pound Ninja. Like it's like when you saw him around and that like rubbery suit thing he was in. Did you see him do it at that size? He did a backflip in jeans.
Starting point is 03:44:04 Shock. It does gotta be barbell jeans, let's be fair. But I can't do a backflip butt naked on a trampoline. I would do like a 600-pound deadlift and then do a backflip in celebration. And it's like none of the other guys could do that. So he's amazing. I will say for me personally, I agree with everything you just said. When Tom got that Brad Pitt body, suddenly he had a resume that appealed to me too.
Starting point is 03:44:31 And also Tom being very open with his story on how he was not emotionally the best version of him and he fell out of shape and then got back into it. I like that. It was inspiring for me. I don't think he was completely honest though. I feel like he should have been like, yeah, well, I went on steroids and I got coached by Juju and we worked for eight months and then
Starting point is 03:44:56 this is what I did. If you're in it, nothing wrong with using steroids, but let us know. Let us know. What I don't like is when the fake natty thing, it's clickbait at this point. It's absurd.
Starting point is 03:45:15 I'm tired of seeing it on my feed. Fake natty, fake natty, fake natty. But still, it is kind of a douchebaggery thing to do, especially if you're selling a product, whether that product is you or a fucking – if you're fucking injecting yourself with 500 milligrams of test a week, but then you're like, oh, this all came from this little bottle of fucking amino acids, boys. Get your fucking FPS amino acids. They're the best. Alright, fucker.
Starting point is 03:45:52 You can do both at the same time. You can be like, look, I'm enhanced. But, these are the best aminos that money can buy. Notice it's in a brown fucking paper bag? Yeah, because it's the cheapest way to get them to you. Notice that, like, look at the back. This, this this and that like do that like tell me they're good aminos explain to me what aminos do but don't act like you are built from this don't don't don't
Starting point is 03:46:16 equate this to this you know like just be honest about it i i use der's pre-workout. It's called Gorilla Mind. Gorilla Mind. Okay. Anyway, it's no bullshit workout. The first time I put a scoop in, I'm like, oh, he went with dishwater
Starting point is 03:46:40 color. Well, that's a bold choice, but okay. Here we go. it actually tastes pretty good but on the on the can it's like i'm gonna paraphrase this shit is gritty we don't cheap out with ingredients being not gritty is not our top priority so stir it between every sip and i'm like and you look at the ingredients though when it's just packed with like creatine. There's a stim and non-stim. Basically, he went full effective mode, and it tastes good. But you have to stir it. He didn't put pink in there or whatever, you know, might be in some.
Starting point is 03:47:15 No colors. There's no colors. It's just it does taste good. So I guess he put some effort into that. It looks like dishwater. It tastes good, and you have to stir it every time. As a matter of fact, after I drink it, I put a little more water in there,
Starting point is 03:47:29 and then I get whatever wasn't in there. What flavor is it, or do you not know? There's a bunch. There's like a lemon-lime, there's a fruit punch. The good ones, all the classics, okay. Yeah, all the classic shit. I grew to appreciate, oh yeah he didn't cheap out in any ingredients
Starting point is 03:47:47 he didn't prioritize like solubility over effectiveness and like he prioritized L-citrulline because that's what you fucking want like he didn't put beta-alanine in there because he doesn't want you to have an itchy asshole he wanted I like that beta-alanine is stupid
Starting point is 03:48:03 and I hate it I take L-citrulline in like pill form I think it has creatine in it too and I was like oh it has creatine I wonder if it has enough yes it has enough it's fucking Derek shit Derek doesn't give you
Starting point is 03:48:19 trace amounts of stuff he gives you all of it Derek makes the pre-workout that Derek would want and then he sells it. That's, I don't know. That's all I want now. It is the best pre-workout on the market. Greg Doucette
Starting point is 03:48:35 did a video. Top five pre-workouts on the market today. Number one is Gorilla Mode. At the end, Greg's a huge... I want to be nice to Greg on the internet. Greg knows how to
Starting point is 03:48:51 market things. Greg likes making money, and there's nothing wrong with either of those things. I shouldn't be a shithead. Calm down. Leave it there at the end he's like it's the best pre-workout on the market until i make a pre-workout coming soon but it's just like it's like it's all he could do to like give derrick that one
Starting point is 03:49:19 like yeah yeah derek's the same as the gorilla until it's true it really is like because like what what he says right because what most companies will do is they'll be they they wouldn't they'll have their proprietary blend anything with a proprietary blend is bullshit okay don't don't buy anything ever that has proprietary blend because that's just so they can hide the amounts of things that are in other things like like oh yeah we've got l-citrulline in here so it's a major it's a great ingredient for to get to getting big pumps which is a big part of what a pre-workout is all about and it's it's like well how much is it is it the maximum effective dose i don't know what that dose is, but let's say it's seven and a half milligrams. Oh, no, it's 0.7 milligrams.
Starting point is 03:50:08 Oh, so 10, 11 scoops then to like, well, yeah, if you want your maximum dose of L-citrulline. Derek's like, no, one scoop will do it. Two if you really want to go hardcore. It's like one scoop of Derek's shit has enough of everything. And two is the dose if you just really want to max everything completely out. You look at how much creatine you need and one scoop is all you need. Yep. Is it five grams or five milligrams?
Starting point is 03:50:34 5,000 milligrams? I think it's five grams. Yeah, five grams. But this is why we want the right guy for building out the load stack. No corners cut. Yeah. It's essentially done, by the way. Anyone's curious about that.
Starting point is 03:50:46 We all have the final version of load stack. And what's going on right now is we're taking it to make sure that it's going to be effective because I don't want to give too much of the proprietary blend away. But after I just said the thing about proprietary. Yeah, you said that and I was like, I just touched it. this is the case of i i i don't want you going to i don't want you going around and shopping out like every ingredient to the to the product because we took a lot of fucking time and effort
Starting point is 03:51:19 and i was a fucking chemistry set for the last three fucking months taking i send these guys pictures the pills i take it's double fistfuls of pills i've been taking like doing this thing like it's a snack if he's hungry before meal meals between meals i should say he takes pills it's like i'm telling it was it's like eating a softball it's's food. Two dozen pills at a time. It is not an exaggeration. Two dozen pills every day is what I have been taking for months. But he's narrowed it down. He's made it.
Starting point is 03:51:54 We've narrowed it down. We removed ingredients that didn't seem effective. We increased the ingredients that were most effective to the levels that are safe. We're very careful not to go overboard with that because some, you know, selenium, for example, in extra high doses has negative side effects, but just the right amount, maximum load. In any case, one of the ingredients was going to require like a separate bottle because it's a gel cap. And it was like, ah, but maybe we can make this in a powdered form. And so we had a special, I don't know if lab is the right word, but we had a manufacturer create a dry version of a wet ingredient,
Starting point is 03:52:40 essentially, so that we could get everything in. When I say one pill, I don't mean you're only taking one pill but one ninth of your dose is in of everything is in each pill you take nine nine pills per day all at once they're not horse pills they're regular size they're very small uh veg vegetable caps uh you know like like you know if you're familiar with those i mean i've been on it for a few weeks now and like i've i'm noticing you know holding pattern in the in the cum department so that's all good news same same and and uh i talked to derek about this like last week and he's like yep keep using it for a while.
Starting point is 03:53:25 We'll make 100% sure that it's going to be good. We don't want to put out a shitty product. And I was like, yep, yep. It looks good to me. The bottle's massive. So that's the other thing. And that's like a month's supply, isn't it? It's three.
Starting point is 03:53:40 Wait, nine pills a day? There's no way that bottle had three months supply. It's got 180 pills in it yeah yeah so one month's supply no it's three months nine pills a day yeah nine times nine nine times 90 wait hold on what are we doing i don't know i'm real sleepy right let's do this hold on we can do this guys i know we can do it there's nine pills there's 180 in the bottle every 10 days that's 90 so every 20 days it's 180 every 30 days it's 270
Starting point is 03:54:18 in any case you're gonna get a 20-day supply in there It'll be a bigger bottle or some shit. I don't know. I'm sure we're going to do 30-day supplies at least. But it's a big honking bottle of Phil's. You take nine at a time. We'll put it in his freaking pre-workout bottle. The pre-workout bottle. That's what I'm going for.
Starting point is 03:54:41 It's like a jug. Let's fill that thing. We said we'd we'd make a fucking load stack and uh we got in business with somebody who likes to make good shit like we said and um and so it's taking a minute but what we're what we release when it happens which has got to be soon because i i think we got it nailed with the formula and the label. The label's funny. It's going to be a good product.
Starting point is 03:55:10 I think it's going to be priced pretty well too. I hope so. It started out as I was serious from the very beginning about July. I still get messages like, that was a joke, right? I'm like no i've been working on this for months i and i have been on cum stacks of our own creation for years
Starting point is 03:55:33 at this well not years but like many months like come on amp it up like we're experts here i want to be 100 honest about it because We were talking about fucking pills somebody's going to be putting in their body. We've tested them. Everything that's in there is fucking safe and legal and all that shit. Of course. It's really, really effective. I told the story a few shows ago about coming into condoms and measuring my volume. about coming into condoms and measuring my volume.
Starting point is 03:56:09 You know, I've taken this about as far as any reasonable or unreasonable human being would. No, you left Reason long ago. As soon as I got out the fucking syringes and started drawing out of used condoms, I think Reason was in the rear view fucking mirror. Dude, that's like fucking serial killer shit. That's some serial killer shit for sure. But that's what we do for the RSK Nation, all right?
Starting point is 03:56:32 We draw cum out of used condoms with syringes. Sometimes they weren't even his condoms. No. You would go to the park because you need a baseline. You know, I went back to that episode where Taylor was talking about bug chasing. Went to all the hot spots. That all the good ones. All those paws loads.
Starting point is 03:56:56 All those paws loads. I want to find more paws loads. That was one of the most upset. That was such a great passage. I love that. What site did I even find that on? Fuck. pause load shit that was most upset that was my that was one of the that was such a great passage i love that what site did i even find that on fuck uh wasn't it reddit no bug chaser
Starting point is 03:57:13 maybe it was a maybe it was it was an even better site than uh dickflash.com which was it's that's sexual assault dot com i haven't checked if that's still up but that's the one where it's like literally guys like talking about committing crimes.
Starting point is 03:57:30 Like, hey, here's a video of me coming on an unsuspecting Asian woman, by the way, you know, and then like someone else will comment like, yeah, I recognize that store, San Francisco. Like, yeah, it's like, what are you making it even easier for people to catch you doing this what do you what's wrong or the the passages where someone will be like my my mother-in-law was over and she thought i was just wearing my robe unaware but i stood there having a conversation with her with my penis out for about five minutes it was thrilling and it's like i put myself in the that poor mother-in-law who's like this fucking maniac my daughter married is showing me his dick in the kitchen again on purpose one was a a grandpa who was getting off showing one of his granddaughter's friends
Starting point is 03:58:21 his dick like unexpected like oh i accidentally came out of the shower it's it's a ghoulish place dickflash.com probably going down any day now since it's just a a log of people on the sex assault registry app or whatever the fuck that would be called yeah so we're almost at the end oh did you guys see Trump's taxes got turned over? Yes. Nope. So apparently, I don't know where this is going to go. But if Trump is guilty, the case is fairly easy to make.
Starting point is 03:59:05 The case is that he claimed his buildings were worth a lot when he wanted to borrow money, but very little when he wanted to pay taxes. So it's not hard for the prosecutors to compare his taxes to his loan applications and find him guilty. I've heard it called a paper case where there is no clever testimony or anything you can do to... You can't claim
Starting point is 03:59:22 fluctuations in valuation? I guess it depends on the times there. If they're the same day, then no. If they're three weeks apart, then now I'm confused. I don't know. Yeah, I think he's okay. That would be my defense. I suspect he's super guilty,
Starting point is 03:59:39 but I also feel like there's more than one justice system. He's rich and he's powerful and nothing will happen, I guess. Nothing ever seems to. But I don't know. It's interesting that his taxes finally got turned over. So there's two people going after his taxes. One is the politicians in the House, and they didn't get it. If they do, what they say on the news is that it'll go public in
Starting point is 04:00:06 minutes. Those guys are leakers. But who did get it were the state attorneys in New York, and they're not leakers, apparently. So they're not convinced that you and I will ever see his taxes because of this. Fair enough.
Starting point is 04:00:22 Fair enough. My guess is he'll be A-okay yeah probably rich people usually are he always has been so yeah i why would you think it'd be different this time man slippery i think he's got a very bright future i think if if as long as like he doesn't get ill or uh you know suddenly pass away because he doesn't look like the healthiest guy i think that trump in the next four years trump is going to do some big things i i think that that poll said that like nearly 50 of the republican party is willing to jump ship and be a trump party um powerful that makes him incredibly powerful. He's so old, man, and he's so fat.
Starting point is 04:01:06 We've said it before. Those years in the 70s. He might lose weight now that he's... I would not be surprised if he lost some... I bet that job was stressful as fuck. He's good at stress. I think he's good at putting on a a good a brave face in in the face of stress or whatever like like like like you know but clearly like he was eating to like deal with some like
Starting point is 04:01:39 some stressors or something through this whole thing maybe the travel maybe like i was gonna say like how easy it would it was in the white house or to be like go get me this go get me that but he's had that forever he's always had that like like it's not like he had that diet coke button in trump tower i mean that would make sense like being under high stress lots of people gain weight yeah we'll see we'll see i don't know how unhealthy he was i i might be um he wasn't that fat back in the day might be my bias but i remember he couldn't drink with one hand anymore when he walked down that ramp at the west point after um his was it is it called a commencement speech is that what he gave like that, yeah. There were times when he looked really frail.
Starting point is 04:02:26 I didn't fault him for the walking carefully because the downside to tripping is gargantuan. And the upside to jogging downstairs is minor. He walked one foot always in front of the other, like you'd do if you were hurt yeah i mean you know he's got his lifts on all the cameras are on him yeah maybe it's hard whenever i saw him like walking down the steps of maybe it's the capitol building it was whenever like it was him and melania and ob and Michelle. And they were walking,
Starting point is 04:03:05 I believe down the steps of the Capitol. And those steps remind me of like the steps from the Joker or the steps from the exorcist. If you remember how steep and scary those were, it's like, God damn, it's just like, they're really falling off and they're really close together.
Starting point is 04:03:22 Like, like I would be careful going down those stairs. I'm not trying to defend this guy like clearly out of shape not i'm worried i'm over prosecuting maybe i'm seeing like i'm like i think it's somewhere in the worst moment um he's no obama he's not he's not fucking like obama could fucking looks athletic especially in the white house i mean he was playing ball with like you know nba players not that he's competing or anything but like they're in the they're back there like having a little fun little game like like running around and he's got cardio and like 20 years older and much much much fatter yeah you know out of shape not an athlete or anything like that but i think i don't think frail i i saw the water
Starting point is 04:04:08 thing that was all the time by the way i think of is like very very thin you know what i i my my guess like trying to play devil's advocate he's got so much makeup on that like a dribble of water and he's got a giuliani situation catastrophic I didn't I never thought of that I thought it was a stabilization thing like he needed like he could be he shakes or something and two hands fixes it yeah but I was with this stimulants he did that he supposedly takes two that could make you that makes you real shaky although if he's still on that cold medicine or whatever and he's that heavy that is incredibly unhealthy because his heart is always taxed and he's got like it should be upping his metabolism literally by like you
Starting point is 04:04:58 know speeding up the heart rate so he should be like burning he should be losing weight you know that people take that shit to lose weight but he's like clearly gained weight in spite of it so you're right it'll be interesting if he loses a bunch of weight yeah i after the president we'll see i it's my prediction that he can win the nomination but not the presidency but we'll see you know a lot of it depends every all these uh re-elections are really referendums on the incumbent so who knows biden's had i think a pretty popular first 30 days whatever he's had he's got the kids in cages aoc's giving him a lot of flack fair fair he's not winning over the far left he's gonna get us into his approval ratings
Starting point is 04:05:46 are higher than trump's ever were at any point in his entire four years uh that's the thing so he's gotten off to a pretty good start but he's got like three years 11 months left let's see uh you know where this goes no he doesn't he won't be president for all four years i think he's uh this always happens you inherit bad things and good things i think despite trump really doing a terrible job the first 50 75 of covid the last in the last days of covid it seemed like he finally got his shit together and the vaccine is rolling out. Operation Warp Speed or whatever he called it worked very well, and Biden inherited a cure to COVID-19. And now he's rolling it out.
Starting point is 04:06:38 They didn't even have the vaccine when I was president. Yeah, he's rolling it out very effectively. I saw a statistic the other day that the United States is vaccinating more. They were like, the United States vaccinated more people yesterday than Canada has total. I think that that's a continue. It happens every day.
Starting point is 04:06:55 It keeps going up. I think it's like a million and a half people a day now. Like 9-10% of the United States population. I think in north carolina specifically someone who's in north carolina resident is one of the 50 patrons and he was saying that maybe maybe they've opened it up like to to a bigger group of people there already like you may be able to get it by now um i want that pfizer vaccine. I'll say this.
Starting point is 04:07:28 Guys that are coming with me to Colorado, you really need to get your fucking vaccine. You know who I'm talking to specifically. I love you, man. I love you. You're one of my favorite people. You're top 50 human beings I know. Okay? Please don't be anti-vax.
Starting point is 04:07:47 I don't even... I'll still go on the trip with you, but if somebody else objects, then I don't know what I'm supposed to do. You have to tell me who it is. I'll write it. Oh, I didn't... He says he's young. He's healthy. doesn't get those things he is young and healthy
Starting point is 04:08:09 that he doesn't trust the vaccine and i'm just like yeah but we're all gonna be in a house together and yeah we're gonna you'll stay in the house the whole time though yeah but i don't know what if he has it he brings it in i don't care because I'm going to have the vaccine. So I guess I don't care now that I think about it. Now that I reevaluate the situation. At first, I was like, no, we all need to be vaccinated. But as long as I'm vaccinated. That's the cool part about the vaccine compared to a mask, right?
Starting point is 04:08:40 I need you to wear a mask. So I'm safe. Apparently, that's how it works. Yeah, but I need me to get a vaccine. So I'm safe, Apparently that's how it works. Yeah. But I need me to get a vaccine. So I'm safe, which puts it on me, which is where I want it. Agreed.
Starting point is 04:08:50 A hundred percent. Yeah. I guess now, now that I've thought about it a little more, I guess I just don't get, I don't give a shit if he vaccinates or not. I mean, for his own health,
Starting point is 04:09:00 he should, but if he doesn't trust the vaccine, he thinks he's young and healthy, which is very true. A lot of people that don't trust the vaccine like the j and j one more it's built on traditional tech it's one dose and it's approved now maybe he'll like that one i doubt our boy likes flu shots so like okay but but i'm getting in line i'm i'm getting the fucking shot i'm pretty autistic already so what's the worst that could happen? I might go back the other
Starting point is 04:09:28 way and be able to have interpersonal relationships again and not count every square that's in a room. I'm going to use that line. Maybe it'll cure my autism. Yeah. It made me so autistic that it
Starting point is 04:09:44 came back around the other way and now I'm able to... If I get this vaccine and don't have the same meals two times a day for life, that'd be something. It's like the Jim Gaffigan joke where he's like, he's so fat he wants to eat his way through to the other side. Just circle around.
Starting point is 04:10:00 But anyway, you guys want to call it a show? I am hungry. Yeah. PKA 532 no outros? No sir well cool

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