Painkiller Already - PKA 533 High School Memories, Insane Bolivian Video, Cheat Meals

Episode Date: March 9, 2021

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Painkiller Already, episode 533. Taylor? Just the Girls tonight. This episode of PKA is brought to you by ExpressVPN and Goat.com, two wonderful sponsors. We love them. We'll talk more about them later. Now, Kyle was chomping at the bit to show us what he called a horrid video.
Starting point is 00:00:17 Yes, yes. I think everyone liked it when we reacted to that awful, awful video of the snow shoveler shooting a few weeks back. I know I loved it. I know you loved it. You said you came twice? Yeah, not during the show. That'd be inappropriate.
Starting point is 00:00:34 Yeah. No, of course. You wait till after. But I thought in the same vein, this video that was linked to me yesterday would just be a real good one to react to. And I've never clicked on, you provided the link timestamped and I've never gotten this specific warning. What he said.
Starting point is 00:00:49 So too, that's like, it was a borderline, like go back. You don't want to be here. When YouTube knows you're nearly half a century old, it doesn't typically give you a, like a disturbing content warning.
Starting point is 00:01:04 Abandon all hope you enter here yeah i mean this is a this must be an intense video it's called bolivia university accident student fall to their death students fall to their death oh multiple i thought we're gonna see one we're about i think this whole all right so what we're seeing is a bunch of students on a balcony in in sight there must be 60 of them, but I bet there's more. And I can't tell if they're protesting or cheering or whatever. I didn't pre-watch it.
Starting point is 00:01:30 You guys ready? Yeah. Ready, set, play. They might be protesting. They're not jumping around or anything. They're just standing there. It could even be like a field day thing, you know, no idea. Could be trying to get into a gym.
Starting point is 00:01:50 But there's a fuck ton of people. It's current because it says this happens during a pandemic and I think they're wearing masks. Yeah, they are. Oh boy. Don't worry about it, don't worry. Oh my! Wait, wait, she's dangling. Oh my. Wait, wait. She's dangling.
Starting point is 00:02:05 She's dangling, boys. Oh no. Someone get her. Oh no. Tell me they saved her. Drop your purse, you dummy. Yeah, drop your purse. Oh, they got her up?
Starting point is 00:02:13 Okay. Wow. Two, four, six, maybe. That's five people at least, and then someone's moving down there. Seven. All seven are dead. So what happened was they were on a balcony. It was maybe the fifth floor, but you couldn't tell that at first
Starting point is 00:02:30 because the cameraman's on, like, fourth. And the railing failed, and seven people fell off the edge. And they're not moving. I think one might be moving. Yeah, one of them's writhing down there, probably dying. Five died instantly, I think, and two more died minutes later. They're the unlucky ones.
Starting point is 00:02:52 It'd be better to go instantly if you're falling and just gone. Better than like gurgling or whatever the hell. Jesus Christ, that was awful. We got three hours and 58 minutes to go. And we already have seven deaths.
Starting point is 00:03:09 It's all uphill from here. It's all uphill. Everything can be joyous. Holy shit. So I guess the event doesn't actually matter. That could have been people waiting in line for the administration office. Because nobody, you're right, nobody was jumping around or like being rowdy. It sounded like kids like, oh, we're just waiting for the gymnasium doors to open so we can go to you know the chapel or something i've seen a number of structural
Starting point is 00:03:28 failures right like imagine a bunch of people jumping in sync because it's a sports game or dance area and then that thumping and rhythmic it it breaks the building i thought that's what i was going to see somehow the railing falling and people tipping over the edge grasping at like the railing the the edge of the platform they're standing on fruitlessly it was worse than a structural collapse yeah the hopeless like oh god that would be so scary especially being that girl who was like, barely holding on. You're right. She was holding on to her purse,
Starting point is 00:04:09 and it's like, you got to prioritize. Get back on the landing. Of course, it's Bolivia. If that thing hits the floor, it's gone. Well, that would be an active crime scene because they need to find whatever guy decided not to put anchors on the screws or however that would possibly happen.
Starting point is 00:04:24 Oh, that was up to Bolivian code. I guarantee it. You think so? Oh, yeah. I think it's a common thing there. As I was watching it, I was like, oh, no. This entire platform is going to collapse and all 60 of these kids are going to die. And so I was surprised by the railing failing.
Starting point is 00:04:40 It was a pleasant surprise to watch seven people fall to their death. Instead of 102 yeah however many people are up there that's i get i knew i was right by never being that person that's like on like high places holding on to the rail like like shaking and things because you know there were always kids who did that and people who did that and it's like the amount of faith you're putting into the janitor or carpenter whoever the lowest bidder what if he was hung over that morning and he's like i just don't care you know you don't want to be the guy who dies because of that so you know lesson for everyone don't and when you're in a bolivian school don't stand right
Starting point is 00:05:15 up against the the thing be like four people deep into the crowd because they seem to be okay i have a um god that is fucked up how old are they high school they look like college university university that's it yeah new topic yeah jesus dude so i found this on illegal life pro tips and the guy's asking for advice i'm on parole and I'm staying in a transitional house. There's a dude who lives with me who has 21 counts of sodomy sexual assault on 9 and 11-year-old kids. What do I do? I want to add I'm not trying to go back to prison. I've got a family in another state.
Starting point is 00:05:57 I'm trying to transfer there. I just can't beat the sick bastard to hell. And I'm on thin ice with my parole officer about targeting child molesters in the halfway house I was originally paroled to. That's why I'm not there. I can't just let it go, however, because what if this was your kid it happened to and someone was asking what to do to the SOB who did it? I don't know. I don't want to be pro a 21-count sodomy sexual assault dude, but this guy's making some bad decisions.
Starting point is 00:06:28 He's been kicked out of one halfway house already. He's not trying to go back to prison, but he's asking for advice on what to do to this person. Yeah, you don't do anything? What, do you judge dread? I mean, you're not even a regular civilian anymore. I'm in a similar situation you you walk the line dummy that's what you do my neighbor could be fucking saddam hussein hiding
Starting point is 00:06:51 out i wouldn't do a goddamn thing no i'll do nothing no yeah exactly do absolutely nothing don't get in some weird vengeance cyclone where you start killing everyone right this seems like the fantasy of someone more than a guy who's actually in there. You always like to do that lens and you might be right. Yeah. I mean, it's more right than wrong on Reddit. Yeah. I don't ever even consider that angle until you
Starting point is 00:07:16 bring it up. I like Kyle's accusation that he sees himself as Judge Dredd. I've talked about this before. I once interviewed for a job and the guy who was interviewing me liked to volunteer at prisons and what he taught was decision-making skills. He's like, you know,
Starting point is 00:07:32 it turns out the reason they're in there is because they have bad decision-making skills. So I help them decide. It's like, hey, here's a choice I might be making that will obviously have hugely negative ramifications. Let's not make that choice next time.
Starting point is 00:07:48 And I feel like that's not a fit. This is like this elephant in the room. It's not what Kyle was doing. But like, I don't know. There's a fight you could walk away from or engage in. Make smart choices. There's a person who slighted you. You could escalate or laugh it off like make smart choices
Starting point is 00:08:06 and that's what he taught this guy needs that lesson this guy what do i do there's a person here who's sexual assaulter so what did this guy do he said he went to reddit to ask what should i do to this guy like how do i get this guy without getting in trouble? And the guy he hates raped a bunch of kids on 9-11? The kids were 9 and 11. Ah, he had a very strict window. I imagine that it was
Starting point is 00:08:39 I'm projecting all this but 21 counts of sodomy sexual assault on 9-11 year old kids. Is it like a two brothers, two sisters, or a mix? And it was just 21 counts of the same two kids. That's my thought. Maybe. Probably. But if he got nailed for 21 counts,
Starting point is 00:08:56 that means there's probably like 80 counts that he actually did. That, or they just run up a bunch of counts. Like it was two days. But he did 21 things over those two days. Right bo 21 things over those two days right upstairs downstairs now i don't have a figure in her mouth i don't have a problem with like the judge doing like magic the gathering combos on pedophiles where he's like and now i'm in my recurring loop you're in prison forever right and that's how i that's how i think it is in my head i don't know maybe you're right maybe
Starting point is 00:09:25 he has a long list of very specific 9 11 year old what are you 10 it's your lucky day dick i watched a video of a judge uh i watched a video of a judge sentencing a guy for child uh molestation the other day he was working at a daycare and uh and she fucking like tears this guy a new one about how evil and awful he is. And then she's like, and you will be serving the maximum sentence of 20 years per offense. And sir, you will be serving them consecutively. It's just like, oh, they don't usually do that. They do them concurrently.
Starting point is 00:10:02 So you do them, you know, you get 20 years for this, five years this 10 years for this but they all happen at the same time so it's 20 years you know wherever the most the last whatever you got sentenced the most for that's your end date no she's like one after another after another your your third sentence doesn't even begin until the year 2037 sir it's just so he's gonna die. Yeah, because he was like 52. Oh, okay. So he won't even see. He'll get through a molestation, like a fingering charge,
Starting point is 00:10:34 and all the rest is just going to be laying out there because he'll die. And he's got to survive in prison. Oh, he's a 50-something year old man, probably looks like a pedophile. Does not look like a strong guy.-year-old man, probably looks like a pedophile. Does not look like a strong guy. He looks, you know, just not going to go well for him.
Starting point is 00:10:53 Maybe he'll go to the right prison, right, with all the other pedophiles. Maybe, maybe. I don't know. Only Use Me Blade told that story where he's like, there was a great prison, you know, it was for child molesters, but I picked it because it seemed like it had a better view. That's where I'd go, too. If they had been like, all right, Kyle, you can go to the federal prison camp in Alabama, or you can go to the Kitty Diddler camp over in South Carolina.
Starting point is 00:11:17 I'd be like, they got chili over there? Hey, Kyle. Just a bunch of fucking Kitty diddlers hanging out yeah no a good way to eliminate gang violence like racial gang violence instead of like introduce a huge number of pedophiles into normal prison and that way the aryans the black gangs the the latinos they're all going to band together in this movie I'm inventing and fight the pedophile scourge, right? Oh, no, no, no, no.
Starting point is 00:11:49 And when the last pedophile is slain in the prison riot, they look around and they go, we're not so different, you and I. And then they have prison sex. What happens is the pedophiles secretly become the most badass gang and start raping the Aryans to the Crips. They got numbers on everybody. You said you were going to introduce a large amount of these people. They'll come in with their charm and their toys and their cool stereos.
Starting point is 00:12:17 Hypothetically. Come on, boys. We're going to go fuck those pedals up. Come on, get your shit. Come back in like old buddy. He's like, dude, I don't want to fucking talk about it ever that was a fuck that was fucking wild
Starting point is 00:12:30 preparation age because I've been a little paid the thing is the thing about that is they wouldn't band together because even with pedophiles the racial the racial lines in prison are the the core of everything. So a black guy can't come mess with a white pedophile.
Starting point is 00:12:49 A black guy can come to the whites and be like, hey, y'all got a pedophile over there you need to handle. But he can't go over there. A black guy can't hit the white guy without starting a real problem. So you've got to handle your own garbage, as it were. Seems that it works out then, right would work out absolutely it has been working out for a long time if you consider prison murder working out yeah but you called them garbage and that's offensive to pedophiles
Starting point is 00:13:17 kyle i'd like you to apologize i'm gonna stand by it that's a brave stance how can you be so courageous we hate pedophiles and they're bad I don't care who comes after that's what we're gonna start doing just really over the top agreeable statements and you nail me to the cross
Starting point is 00:13:40 for that but I think kids should be able to eat I mean if they're hungry if they're hungry they should be provided food good food not school food school food's the fucking worst it was awful what was the best lunch at your high school the one absolute best lunch is when they would get pizza once in a while like real pizza or that square shit no this well i'm thinking of grade school now uh grade school every once in a while they really would bring in like a bunch of whatever the cheapest like dominoes was and it was like oh my god you only got two slices or i guess most kids got one but i i got two i would often get three because
Starting point is 00:14:21 there was a chip system you got a blue chip or a red chip, blue chip, double portion, red chip, single portion. And there was this kid that was on Ritalin in my class, shout out to Tim. And he never wanted to eat. And so I would take my double chip, his single chip most of the time. And I would eat a triple chip meal.
Starting point is 00:14:36 Jesus Christ. This is like when the puppy, the big strong puppies just get bigger and stronger. Cause they get all the food because they're bigger and stronger. And then they're bigger and stronger because they got all the food. His mom would get so mad at him and be like, you need to eat. And he's like, you got me on speed. If I eat, I feel sick.
Starting point is 00:14:54 I can't. I'm not hungry. And so like he would ask me even to be like, Taylor, just just eat it. Like, just make sure my tray is clean by the end because Mrs. Disman is going to come come by and if she sees that my there's food on there she's gonna tell my mom and i'm like no i suppose like what i'm going and i mean most days it didn't even pan out that much because it's like i don't even want an extra serving of this nonsense but pizza day dude today at work i think the best might have been like
Starting point is 00:15:23 country fried steak that That was pretty good. We did not have that. What is that? It's a steak that's tenderized by beating the shit out of it and then it's battered and fried and covered in sawmill gravy.
Starting point is 00:15:39 Usually served with rice, which you also cover with the gravy. It's a very healthy meal. Sounds it. Good for growing kids, growing, growing, growing young lads and lasses. That was your best thing.
Starting point is 00:15:49 That might've been the best thing. Cause the pizza was awful. And we never once ever got real food. Sometimes like the girls who had creepy boyfriends who were like adults, their boyfriends would like bring them like some Wendy's or something. Cause there was one really nearby the high school. But no, there was no real food coming in the doors. You could run for student council and there was a little student government and stuff.
Starting point is 00:16:15 And they give you all these promises, but they can't actually make anything happen because it's just a pretend government that has no power. Ours actually got something done before i got there they implemented a salad bar and oftentimes the best thing at our school was the salad bar sounds terrible right but it had like quality meat chicken and you know of course all the salad type stuff but yeah and like the ham at the salad bar wasn't cafeteria quality food it was like actual quality food that was usually the best thing around and you could yeah as much as the bowl would hold that was they didn't weigh it or anything it would just say my bowl would just be it'd be three bowls worth of food yeah we had a salad bar but it was cafe it was like shredded
Starting point is 00:17:01 lettuce with ranch or french dressing and there you go enjoy no croutons there were no croutons no cherry tomatoes no accoutrement we had those things I almost forgot I mentioned it so many times our school was well funded
Starting point is 00:17:19 I forgot that like maybe that's why everyone else didn't have that good thing a real quality salad bar there was an epidemic i'm sure every school has this and i'm talking about high school now not grade school uh like kids just stealing food from the cafeteria that happened constantly where you guys were ever how the fuck did you steal uh these so like first of all it was cheap as shit it was like and and a couple of the kids i knew who would steal all the time one of them in particular
Starting point is 00:17:51 was like it's like dude your family's worth like five digits like a healthy or not five digits five you say i'm sorry i was thinking eight digits my bad okay not like 10.01 million like healthily in that range 50 million like yeah very very very wealthy people and like he would stuff so many sandwiches into the middle of his hoodie every day and then like I discovered later on that what he was doing is we had like our main cafeteria area and then like you could go out into like the lobby and because it was overflowed for the high school so like you couldn't fit everybody in the cafeteria some people have to sit in the lobby like circular tables and things and he would go out there and sell sandwiches undercut uh the cost of it and it's like the risk reward is not even there here like
Starting point is 00:18:39 you drive a brand new mustang and you didn't pay like what you need this, this 20% margin on a $1.75 chicken shit to your sandwich. It blew my mind. But then there were also people who would steal it by going to the salad bar we had. Doesn't sound as nice as yours,
Starting point is 00:18:55 but they would just load it up with all the ham and chicken and then set it on the condiment area because foolishly, it was like a half wall in this area of the cafeteria and then there were the registers and so you could just take your you know buy a one dollar sandwich put you know eight
Starting point is 00:19:11 dollars because they did weigh it of like salad over there and then just leave and walk around to the side and act like you're getting ketchup on your burger just grab the styrofoam and leave not secure at all and so eventually they did get rid of the salad bar. Too many people have used that. Yeah. Nothing got weighed. Lunch was $1.25 and you put in your fucking like four digit code, which is the last four of your social security number. And then you moved along and you could get a double lunch for like 75 more cents or something. Two Salisbury steaks or chicken fried steak. Whatever you wanted. Yeah. Yeah. Whatever they were serving that day, which was almost always just terrible, terrible fucking food.
Starting point is 00:19:46 Yeah. That really should be a better priority. Like getting kids healthier stuff at school. That can't be good for. Who's going to pay for that? Well, I mean, I hate to do politics, but is that like Michelle Obama's whole thing? Like she made school lunches healthier and everyone got mad at her. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:20:03 I don't know. Yeah. Yeah. Republicans hated healthy school lunches. Like, oh oh that's the hill you want to die well that's fucking stupid you shouldn't pay the school lunch at all if kids eat healthier they're like uh you know these they said they didn't taste as good they weren't as that i was like they're healthier lunches i remember her the only one that thinks that if I saw this thing where because of the pandemic, a lot of the kids are staying
Starting point is 00:20:27 home, right? And I get where that could really put stress on households, right? Especially if both parents work. Yeah. Paying for child care and all that. That's getting a lot more expensive. But that's not the point they were making.
Starting point is 00:20:44 They were like, can you believe it? Now they've got to feed their kids at lunch. These kids were getting free lunches at the school, and now the parents have to feed them. Their parents are having to feed them all three meals a day. You can't put that kind of stress on a parent to provide three meals for a child. It's unreasonable. And I'm like like maybe it was unreasonable
Starting point is 00:21:06 to have some fucking kids that you can't afford to give three meals a day you know how much oatmeal costs when you buy it in bulk it's borderline free it's borderline free like two dollars buys like a pound of oatmeal it's it's like two months of food i've never heard that but i mean a lot of a lot of silly people out there i would believe it if you can't afford to and the free school lunches don't make sense to me either because again if you don't have a dollar 25 cents to spare for your child's meal a day why did you have a fucking kid yeah why do you have a kid like i don't fucking get it there's nothing to do now though the kids kid's there.
Starting point is 00:21:46 Oh, there's something they could do. You start euphonizing those kids. Oh. You didn't even think of that. I didn't even consider it. He's a problem solver. Here we are paying Mr. Mac to go around and be a janitor when we got all these poor little fucks here. They're going to be earning their lunches.
Starting point is 00:22:00 Imagine what that would do to you socially if you had to clean the school while you went there. Yeah. Suicide rakes skyrocket taylor gets study hall woody grabs a janitor this is ollie his mother makes poor decisions everybody spit on ollie oh my god don't body try to get your try your garbage in the trash can but if if you miss don don't worry. Ollie's there for the rebound. It's like that Simpsons episode
Starting point is 00:22:30 where they're all on the bus on the way to a field trip and Miss Grapple's like, whose fuzzy wuzzy bear lunchbox is it? And Nelson's like, mine. And everybody's like, ha ha. He's like, it's not my fault. It's my mom's poor. And they're like, ha ha. He's like, it's not my fault. It's my mom's poor. And they're like, ha, ha.
Starting point is 00:22:47 He's like, it's not her fault. She's too fat to work at Hooters anymore. They won't even let her park cars. Ha, ha, ha. It's not my fault. It's just my kids. It's so fucking weird. He's like, well, I'm sure even though you're poor,
Starting point is 00:22:59 you still have the $7 for the field trip, right? And he's like, and they just leave him on the side of the road. That's something that you shouldn't have to pay for. Now's where i go the other complete opposite direction i didn't like it when they charged kids for field trips like oh yeah we're going to the aquarium uh lunch is eight dollars it's like you're taking us somewhere you should pay for lunch like like or when the you had to pay buy a ticket for the aquarium. It's like, no, no, you,
Starting point is 00:23:26 you, you're the one who organized this shit. Miss Smith, you should be, if you don't have $8 a kid, you have made some poor decisions. Cause I don't care about fish. My mom would very consistently, especially in grade school and actually all throughout high school and middle
Starting point is 00:23:40 school, everything like if it was a field trip day, she would kind of be like, do you want to go to school or no? And I'd be like, hell no. And so like, I just would not go to school on field trip days. Really?
Starting point is 00:23:51 Do you take absent days though? I don't know how it worked. My senior year, I was so close to being in trouble for the amount of absences, but you know, it never bit me in the ass or anything. So I technically failed high school
Starting point is 00:24:02 because I missed too many days. Technically, do you have your, you got your diploma though, right? Yeah, but it's not legitimate It never bit me in the ass or anything. I technically failed high school because I missed too many days. Technically? You got your diploma though, right? Yeah, but it's not legitimate because I missed too many days. They were not required to give me that diploma. Some numbers were changed. Really? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:24:17 Wait, some numbers in the system were changed to give you the diploma? Yeah. Oh, well, that's handy. I've said this before, but there was this kid in my middle school uh there's like some stupid middle school graduation thing that you know those lip service nonsense and like everybody got their little thing where it's like you've graduated from middle school hooray and my buddy or not not a buddy am i just a guy i knew came over he was showing everybody i saw a big group of people laughing he's like dude Taylor check it out and it said Joe thank you for participating in eighth grade he didn't pass so
Starting point is 00:24:51 they got him a thank you for participating plaque for eighth grade and he was such a terror they just pushed him through the next grade that's how I think most kids are who should be held back is the teachers are like fuck this like push them forward i'm not dealing with this again i gotta make it happen i think you could miss like five days and i think i missed like five and a half days because you know you just a class counts like a quarter of a day so like sometimes i just skip one class or you know sometimes i would skip the same class for many many days just because i knew that it would add up and i didn't need that grade anyway it's like yeah i don't care make a zero like i don't i didn't need that grade anyway. I don't care if I make a zero. I don't fucking
Starting point is 00:25:25 need this to graduate. I don't give a shit. When I was a teenager, I realized this. Obviously, if you skip class, you get into a lot of trouble. You can't just skip class. If you come in late to school, even if it's
Starting point is 00:25:41 60 seconds late, then you have detention after school. And that used to happen to me too often. So I rode my bike to school. So it was really on me to get up on time, get out the door on time, ride my bike fast enough, and get to school on time.
Starting point is 00:25:58 So I'd be like in the bike racks, and I'd hear the alarm or the bell ring or something. I'd be like, late. Well. All my way. I will come back to school 90 minutes from now.
Starting point is 00:26:16 Because why would I, like, if I'm going to get detention, let's make it worthwhile. There's no reason for me to be 90 seconds late for school to get all that punishment. I could skip a whole class. In for a penny. That's so reason for me to be 90 seconds late for school to get all that punishment i could skip a whole class in for a penny that's so foreign to me like literally no one rode a bike oh well i lived in the city yeah yeah you'd get hit by a fucking car you'd be riding down the highway
Starting point is 00:26:38 i mean there are fucking sidewalk hundreds of kids rode their bike to my schools yeah you would get detention if you were 30 seconds late every like yeah do you get detention I mean, there are... It's a fucking sidewall. Hundreds of kids rode their bike to my schools. You would get detention if you were 30 seconds late. Oh, yeah. Yeah, dude, you'd get detention if you were two seconds late. We did not have that. If the bell was still ringing while you walked through the door, you'd get a dirty look.
Starting point is 00:26:58 But, yeah. Yeah, there was no punishment for being late to class. As long as you made it 30, 40 minutes before the end of the class, you were fine. This was a homeroom, by the way. Did you guys have homeroom? Does everyone have that? Yeah. No.
Starting point is 00:27:13 We didn't have that, no. We did in middle school, but not in high school. Oh. Yeah, so we had a... We wouldn't even call it a class. Just 10 minutes before your first class, everyone assembled there. You said the Pledge of Allegiance, and then you went to your first class you went to your first class also some announcements you go back to your homeroom all the time we just had like block scheduling every day yeah same not sure what block scheduling means it's like a longer class yeah yeah abcd or abab or whatever it is i just had the same class yeah
Starting point is 00:27:40 yeah i had the same classes every day mostly i think and uh but the first class of the day wasn't a real class it was super short they just take attendance and sometimes the homeroom teacher would have things to tell you like hey announcements and yeah some sort of announcements that didn't cover the pa system and sometimes your your like homeroom would be like how they organize like i don't know vaccines or something like that sure but yeah that we had that middle school not in high school though yeah there was no punishment for being late and uh if you could absolutely skip classes like like just there's no punishment for skipping classes it's like oh you didn't come no all right well you don't get credit for today yeah i know
Starting point is 00:28:18 that's why i didn't come oh really well we couldn't just skip class we would get in trouble for that but like if you were late what are they gonna late you can just make it in school suspension for that what are they gonna do if i don't show up for that then you get out of school suspension which seems like an improvement actually yeah okay well i'm definitely not showing up for that now we're all happy right perfect like you know i drove to school so it was like first period was horticulture. And I didn't really need to learn any more about arranging flower bouquets. So I'd just go drive to Cracker Barrel and sit down and have a nice breakfast. And sometimes I would just go to the movie theater, watch a movie.
Starting point is 00:29:04 And I'd a movie 30 minutes late for the second class we're all good still second class is welding oh did i miss 30 minutes of welding oh no how will i ever get my t-joints right that sounds like that kind of sounds like fun going to a welding class we didn't have shop or anything like that oh i took welding every semester all the way through high school i I should be a master welder. I took. How are you at welding? I can stick two pieces of metal together just fine.
Starting point is 00:29:31 That's the job. I can make weld much better than anything else, but I can stick and take. I picked up enough, but you wouldn't want me like welding something you want people to look at. That's about where I am. I can't take the, I'm almost there. Maybe. Does that mean? Yeah. It TIG welding is, um, you've got in one hand, you've got a torch and, uh, but it's not a flame. It's, um, you've got like, you, you hook a what looks like a jumper cable attachment to your work piece.
Starting point is 00:30:01 And then the, this thing shoots this arc of plasma. And then in your other hand, you have this like a very thin piece of metal, this rod that you use to like, it melts as yeah. And you're able to do really intricate stuff. It's, it's usually in my experience,
Starting point is 00:30:16 it's for really intricate stuff and aluminum in particular. Does it like melt instantly when it touches the plasma? I bet pretty instantly. Yeah. That's something you adjust based on the the gauge of the the the media and the uh the heat of the torch but but yeah i i'm not much of a welder but i took eight semesters of welding at least it's a cool class that's offered like welding that's neat don't imagine that there was a welding class taught because i feel like you're imagining like all of us sitting in desks and a welding teacher being
Starting point is 00:30:49 like today we're going to learn this that never happened once in eight semesters what's welding class welding class is the welding teacher's side hustle where he has student labor build cattle trailers and then sells them to people. There's like three or four guys who might have an interest in welding in the future, and those guys can weld. And so they're free labor. They're building him a cattle trailer. They're all over this thing.
Starting point is 00:31:18 It looks like a work site that you would see when they're building the Empire State Building with all the men. Like, oh, everybody's working hard. Yeah, he's got like three or four fucking 16 year old dudes in their car hearts just fucking welding this shit was everyone okay with them having a side hustle and getting money in their pocket okay oh yeah but they all did it so that in a row you had automotive uh we called it metals but it's welding uh and then and then construction which is shop shop class made gazebos and garden sheds uh and um metals made cattle trailers and a few other
Starting point is 00:31:55 little things similar to that um you know ten thousand dollar items and then automotive did oil changes for people and small repair and they were all profiting through student labor. I never took any of those. I was so jealous. I, I, I almost didn't graduate because of that. My, um, my father, he would see like, Oh, you could take accounting. Why would you take, you know, metalworking or woodworking when you could take accounting instead? So I do that. And there was another one called like business fundamentals and accounting too. It just went on and on.
Starting point is 00:32:27 And I got these extra like academic courses. And in my senior year, they're like, you're not going to graduate. You have to take one of these things. So they slipped me in photography, but yeah, it was actually kind of a neat course.
Starting point is 00:32:39 They did. Teacher hated me for good reason. But, um, uh, I never had those things. I remember my accounting teacher used to roast all the other teachers in like a self-deprecating way. She'd be like, you know, I don't know why I became an accounting teacher.
Starting point is 00:32:55 This is the worst kind of teacher. I have to actually teach you guys. I give you work that comes back to me and then I have to grade it. So after I work here, I have to work at night working more and I don't get paid very much. I could have been a gym teacher. And then she does this. She leans back, puts her feet on the table and says, run those laps. She's like, that could have been my job. You don't see gym teachers grading at night. You know, Mr. Mulvaney over there, he's a casino dealer
Starting point is 00:33:25 at Atlantic City at night. You know what I'm doing at night? Grading your papers. I could be making double money too. And we thought it was hilarious. We all loved her rant. Although as an adult... You didn't account for that, did you?
Starting point is 00:33:38 As an adult... Do just competent accountants work for an accounting firm? You're roasting all your co- coworkers to a bunch of teenagers. Like, this is so unprofessional. I guess you're not much of an accountant, are you? What's more, what an accountant makes or what an accounting teacher makes? Oh, you didn't think about that?
Starting point is 00:33:58 We had a, everybody has that teacher, or had that teacher rather, who was the football coach who had to also work at the school yeah and one of our coaches was the football coach that was the only thing he gave a fuck about just the football coach and then he also was the gym coach and i remember he was teaching tennis one day and so our school was like all excited they like built these like two tennis courts and oh we're gonna do tennis and so and i thought it was fun like it was just a fun like activity a gym i enjoyed tennis wasn't very good but like he would he was like all right here's how you hit uh top spin fucking no spin here's i hit the slice like the same thing he's like i'm gonna go up on stairs and smoke cigarettes he would go up and sit and like read the paper or
Starting point is 00:34:46 something up on these stairs coming out of the gym that overlooked the tennis courts and you just that was you never saw him there'd be whole days where it'd be uh we'd be like hey where's coach s and he'd be like ah this is one of those days he's not coming out and it's like all right well who wants to play tennis with me like that's how like every elective was like every elective i ever took the teacher didn't give a fuck and it didn't matter what we did like sign language she didn't give a fuck i didn't learn any sign language i need the alphabet that was it um um jim i don't remember us ever having an organized like learning experience whatsoever. We did the physical.
Starting point is 00:35:27 We ran the mile once a year. That's it. You never had a... You ran the mile once a year. That's it. You didn't play soccer or baseball or tennis or football? Never did any of those things. If you want to shoot some hoops, there's balls and hoops.
Starting point is 00:35:43 Have fun with that. Otherwise, everybody ready to run the mile in May? Because that's when we're doing it. Our gym class was training most of the time. As freshmen, all you did is run. Outside of that, maybe I'm wrong on that. I seem to remember a lot of doing sprints back and forth and shit like that. But as you got older, you got dedicated.
Starting point is 00:36:04 We had gymnastics. We had archery, we had golf, we had tennis. And the coaches of the sports often taught them. We had pretty good gym, I think. That sounds expensive. We had a basketball. Then we had an offshoot of gym was weightlifting. And gym was required to take one semester of gym. But weightlifting was just a completely elective
Starting point is 00:36:25 class. I took, I took like two or three semesters of that. Cause once again, I just wanted as many easy electives as possible. I didn't want any electives where like you'd have to do a thing. I learned that. And, and, um, what was it? Oh, it was a computer class where you had to like learn Excel and a bunch of other shit. I had to take that class. Excel and access. Yeah, I cheated. I got somebody else just to save all the work on a thumb drive and turned it in. And then I took it home and printed it all out and then turned it in. And she could tell the difference between a fucking laser printer or an inkjet. And she called me on it.
Starting point is 00:36:57 And I made a 46. You could tell that all my printed out work was printed from home. And it was bullshit. And I'm like, God damn it it not only did i use all mom's ink i got a 46 fuck like like this bitch is sherlock holmes over here solving the inkjet laser printer fucking mystery failing me i learned my lesson then like there's no way i'm ever taking an elective that's difficult so then i took computer aided drafting and, uh, and similar situation. I was way behind. And, uh, but the teacher like, um, went to school with my mom and, uh, and, uh, and,
Starting point is 00:37:35 and recognized me. And I was, I was like, is there any way I can pull this grade up? I was like, you know, I'm at like a 50 and we got like six weeks to go here. And he's like, just do book work, you know, go through the like a 50 and we got like six weeks to go here. And he's like, just do book work, you know, go through the, go through the book. And, uh, you know, every chapter there's a quiz at the end, just, you know, fill it out and turn it in. And so I just took a piece of paper and wrote nonsense words on it and turned in like a hundred pages of nonsense words, like literally gibberish. Like, like if he, if if he if he even gave it a cursory
Starting point is 00:38:06 glance i'd have been found out because it was like apples are sweet and delicious number one number two pizza pie in my eye oh my just like just i just needed words on a page and and i had to write them as fast as possible so like like every day I got to get like, I had to do like five chapters a day or something. Like it was, if I tried my hardest and worked at home, I could have done it or I could just write pizza pie in my eye. Oh my.
Starting point is 00:38:34 And I could get it done in like an hour a day for six weeks. And I did that. And then I took things like sign language, weightlifting as much as I could. Medals way as, like I said, eight semesters, construction, four semesters, stuff like that. Anything that was just an instant A. You can literally sleep through those classes.
Starting point is 00:38:57 They hope you do. You don't even have to be there. Those classes were all in a row, and they all had giant garage doors that opened up to the outside world and they had like this back lot area where they kept like all of the supplies for those classes so like oil filters and stuff were on one side and then lumber was on the other and then metal stock was on the other you know like lots of metal pipes metal uh sheets of metal that sort of thing We just hang out out there around a barrel fire all day through the winter,
Starting point is 00:39:28 like doing nothing ever in our gym class. So freshmen just run. They don't pick what they do. Sophomores pick what they do, but they get last choice. The seniors and juniors pick in front of them. And then amongst the sophomores, it's alphabetical.
Starting point is 00:39:45 So I'm a Woodworth sophomore, right? I'm the last of anyone in the whole school. So I'm dreaming of like archery and golf and fencing and stuff I got to do as an upperclassman. I got jazzercising. It's really popular, right? I was down. I was like, man, Jazzercise is the worst
Starting point is 00:40:08 it's gay and you sweat a lot and they're like it's not so bad Woody you see coochies every day and you do just girls doing like downward dogs and shit like that that's what Jazzercise was get yourself a good seat
Starting point is 00:40:23 pretty well You're there early. Woody! You know, I talked to the other teachers and I can't believe it. They say you're late for every other class. You're here 10 minutes early. Aren't you supposed to be an algebra like you? Yeah, I'm never late for
Starting point is 00:40:39 cooter peeking. Yeah, but third period's just wrapping up and they're extra sweaty in the last 10 minutes. I like to get here on time oh and then the other side got something in your eye and wandered into the woman's locker room it's a jazzercise hazard you're all all all pepper dust lunches the other side of the bullshit electives at high school was the agriculture department so like the things that i described were all in one big building um you know that you had to like go through a breezeway to get to the uh the metals the uh the automotive the construction they were in their building and then on the other end of campus was agriculture and agriculture had horticulture,
Starting point is 00:41:25 animal husbandry. They had pigs, they had cattle, they had chickens. Sounds kind of fun. They had like a big show barn where like kids would raise like show heifers. You took me there and there was a fish farm. Yeah, there's a fish farm. There. There's a fish farm. Um, there's greenhouses.
Starting point is 00:41:46 Take a second to picture this people. You need a giant like pool or Lake or something to have a, a fish farm is not like a chicken farm where you just put up some fence and have chickens. There's some infrastructure involved in this school. It's kind of like a greenhouse with really long troughs of water in it. Um, and then at the end you've got like a wheel that spins to aerate the water. What kind of fish?
Starting point is 00:42:10 I think it was catfish because, again, it was all about turning a profit. It was a side hustle because when the catfish grew up, you had a fish fry. And everybody shows up to the school to like buy a catfish, like fried catfish. And like, you know, they're making catfish plates where it's like a fried catfish and like some beans and rice and a roll. And it's like six bucks. And it costs nothing, you know, and they would sell out, they would sell them all. So we had horticulture, which was flowers. You grew flowers, you learned about flowers, and you made flower bouquets.
Starting point is 00:42:48 I took two semesters of that. You had animal husbandry, which is where you had to literally go into a fucking pig barn sometimes and learn from Mr. Mackimson about pigs. Myers, come up here and look at this sow. See how that little in there? It's either you got to clip the teeth of the babies or they'll bite the nipple
Starting point is 00:43:09 and they'll get infected, Myers. You see that? You see that right there? And I'm just like, I'm going to smell like pig shit all day. I hate this. Like, I hated it so much because you would.
Starting point is 00:43:20 Do they offer showers after pig shit? No. Dude, no one showered at my school at any point ever. The showers were never, ever once used. I know you've said that, but I mean, like, I was just asking again, because I mean, pig shit is a pretty rough smell. No, my ex-girlfriend failed that class because she refused to go into the pig barn because she didn't want to smell like pig shit all day. Understandably, I guess, you know?
Starting point is 00:43:41 At least make that a last class of the day on your schedule yeah I always tried to make gym like and and weight lifting like last period because you're gonna come out of there sweaty as fuck and you don't want to be like sitting if you can get economics yeah yeah I like gym early on in the day my senior year because I saved my gyms for senior showers well but also like in my head it was like oh school doesn't even really begin until like after lunch now I got because then i've said this before they accidentally fucked up my schedule where they gave me gym study hall gym study hall do you have two gyms yeah two gyms and two study halls and uh that's why you look like that god i needed two gyms and so the gym teacher didn't care but uh
Starting point is 00:44:21 the the administrator was like pissed like 10 weeks in where he's like you knew this was wrong and i was like what are you talking about i'm just learning he's like but i thought you needed two gyms i did uh he was mad about the study halls because you're not supposed to have multiple study halls in the same day oh you're done we didn't we did not have study hall you didn didn't have any study hall? No. That's like something from like movies that I've seen. I don't even know what the fuck that would... I mean, it's self-explanatory what it is, but it's a completely
Starting point is 00:44:55 foreign concept to me. We had a class called Life Connections. Figure that one out. Life Skills. Life Connections. It's sex ed. Nope. This is how you set up your linkedin page or whatever no that would have been good that would have been good life connections uh
Starting point is 00:45:14 it wasn't like marital advice like oh that would have been helpful too especially in my county all those kids are getting fucking knocked up and married a year out of high school is it how to get regular sex i wish that would have been super helpful for me life connections was it about was it about like not doing drugs and things i'm gonna cut this off because the answer is i have no fucking idea what it was about so it i don't know what we were supposed to be doing in there i have no idea what are the teachers two teachers and and we would first of all it was in a double wide trailer um so because like we had plenty of money for a cattle barn but we didn't have money to put the live connections class or the sign
Starting point is 00:45:57 language class anywhere but in a fucking trailer that was outside so like i don't know we'd go in there and just chill and just like i don't remember what we'd learn we would it was just like it was like creative time it's what it was it was like creative time like like they would be like oh yeah write us a report on something what a waste of time i wrote a report about getting a blow job from one of the girls in class one day. That was my report. I got an A. Nobody's reading. I'm not making this up.
Starting point is 00:46:31 I know it sounds outrageous that I did this. The teachers understood and were giggling about it. I used to turn in book reports with one sentence that said, like, do you really read this? And like half the time they were circled. One teacher got mad. I didn't somehow anticipate that. But half the time they just didn't see it like they just they made no reference to it didn't notice the sentence they they definitely did that because i remember once it was my junior or senior year i was very must have my senior year because i was feeling kind
Starting point is 00:46:59 of over it and like your bibliography or your works cited page for some research paper, I turned in and she was like, this works cited bibliography is 100 percent wrong. Like you need to do this and that and change the formatting. And I just didn't do it. I'm not intent. I just forgot. And so I just like reprinted it out and turn the same thing back in and was like, oh, she's going to be mad. No, like she must have thought I made changes because she bumped it up a bit. And they really do do bullshit.
Starting point is 00:47:28 Like in your head, you're like, well, there's a meticulous level of consistency that the teacher strives for. They certainly wouldn't give certain students better grades because of their own biases. That's crazy. And it's like, no, that shit happens. And like, it's exactly like,
Starting point is 00:47:42 like I swear, sometimes they'll give you like an 87 because they gave three 90s out prior. And they're like, yeah, I swear, sometimes they'll give you like an 87 because they gave three nineties out prior. And they're like, yeah, I need any little variety, little spice here. One thing I figured out is that like say the grader doesn't know you. Your best handwriting is important on your essay score. But, you know, my handwriting is below average. But if it was an essay, it's like you got to put your best foot forward on this thing. Half of this grade, they're going to form an opinion of the author based on his handwriting as much as the words he picked.
Starting point is 00:48:11 See, in English, I agree with you. English essays, very making sure everybody can read it. My end of every Italian test, all those essays. I would I was like I would scribble like words and like hope that she would give me the benefit of the doubt sometimes because it'd be like, oh, is it a, am I supposed to say me piacere? Am I supposed to say ti piacere or something like me piacere or something like that. And it'd be like, if I do an O with a little flip, not quite the A, but I remember I've said this before, but i remember writing those essays and her just
Starting point is 00:48:48 looking at me like i was a fucking retard because it'd be like all right you know 100 words minimum end of the test you know it's right about your experience at the library and it's like my name is taylor my brother's name is blah my mom's name is blah my dad's name is blah. My mom's name is blah. My dad's name is blah. Mi piace. Mi piace means I like. So it was just like, mi piace del vino. I like wine. Mi piace il birra. Mi piace la lasagna.
Starting point is 00:49:17 And I'd be like, what did you eat for dinner? And I just list and out. Because then also it'll be like, say what you had for dinner and then say what you and your family talked about at dinner it's like all right if i can get 85 words out of what i ate and it's like and then i said to my brother that i like this movie and then he said to me that i like this movie too it was it was a fucking joke at the end of it and this was a class pro tip anybody in college if you really demonstrate that you're trying teachers will give you the benefit of the doubt i went to this teacher's office hours because i knew going in that i was going to fail italian two because it was two and a half years since i'd taken italian one and i was screwed but i went in
Starting point is 00:50:02 i did extra workbook stuff and I would show it to her. I would show her, I showed her so dozens of pages of work, a hundred percent wrong, but she would like, and sometimes I, uh, it got to the point where I would like flip through and be like, I'm, I'm doing the work where I would just rewrite the question that was asked in Italian and worse handwriting. And she gave me like a C. I did not deserve a C. My speaking test. Foreign language in particular, write something.
Starting point is 00:50:29 I figured out early on that even if you don't know what the heck is happening, write something. You'll get half credit, a quarter credit. The teacher wants to give you a little credit,
Starting point is 00:50:40 but if you give a blank answer, then there's nothing you can get but a zero on that. I filled out a Scantron once in ink. Do that. That's stone cold. Stupid. I,
Starting point is 00:50:51 it was purposeful. It was, it was, it was me sending, it was about sending a message, a message that man, this kid hates grades. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:51:00 That was the message. Yeah. It was literally to try to get the lowest grade i possibly could that's yeah zero will do that because it doesn't read it it was below a 30 it was below a 30 i think so kyle i don't know if you saw texas is removing all their mask mandates and they're going to have no business closures have you heard this yes i heard something about it yeah so biden says you know it's too soon we can't have this neanderthal thinking so i ask you as a neanderthal american yeah this is offensive it is offensive and um it it's it's clear from from the records that
Starting point is 00:51:41 the neanderthals were not of lesser intelligence they they just weren't as great at at uh team organizing and reproducing and sort of the teamwork aspect of things you know really he's saying that those texans can throw spears even further than homo sapiens i suppose so alabama's stepping up big and being the intellectual of the south and saying no no we're going to keep our masks. I'm getting it. There are a handful of Republicans coming out being offended by this Neanderthal remark. Marsha Blackburn defends Neanderthals following Biden criticism.
Starting point is 00:52:17 McEnany rips Biden's Neanderthal remark on Fox and Friends and compares it to Hillary's deplorable insult. They're just going whole hog on this. I take your Neanderthal criticism personally. That is so fucking stupid. Who cares? Who cares? You care, Kyle? You don't like the Neanderthal? I'm like two and a half percent Neanderthal. I guarantee I'm doubling you up you take your test take the fucking test so i i haven't taken a test but this is what i have my mom took the test and
Starting point is 00:52:53 she her grade was different than yours what she got was more neanderthal than something like 97 percent of the population so that's not 97 percent neanderthal that would be pretty chromaginous or something but but. But more Neanderthal than almost everyone, which turns out it makes you COVID resistant. Yeah. Mine was higher than that. I think I am like 2-2.5%
Starting point is 00:53:17 Neanderthal. It was like more Neanderthal than like 99.9% of people tested. The conclusion can only be that both of my parents have Neanderthal DNA and by happenstance, they created me. Well, I mean,
Starting point is 00:53:30 a lot of white people have Neanderthal DNA because Neanderthals were mostly, they were like chilling in Europe. So that's where you got like inner bread and everything. Yeah, exactly. And there's just happened
Starting point is 00:53:40 to be slightly more. Yeah, sure. Are you Italian, Taylor? Is that what you are? I'm just a fucking mutt. I've got a bit of Italian, you know, a decent amount. Find out. Do the ancestry DNA thing.
Starting point is 00:53:49 I think that's what I did. I think I'm mostly like a mix of just everywhere in Europe. I think a little heavier Southern European. But, you know, fucking my brother did one, and it was just a menagerie. Like Italy was pretty big on there. What else was england was more than i would think uh very little like borderline no german uh and then french were the big ones
Starting point is 00:54:14 you psyched for the ufc fights this weekend kyle not super no honestly um you know i i i'm excited i think they'll be good, but it's... Who's the big one? I'm not in love with any of these fighters, and I think some of the fights are going to be one-sided. I think the Adesanya fight could be real one-sided, and I think the Nunez fight will be very one-sided. And that other guy, what is it, like Peter?
Starting point is 00:54:40 Peter Jan or something. I'm terrible at pronouncing his name, because it's like Petor or some nonsense. Petor. name because it's like P-T-Y-R or some nonsense. P-T-Y-R. It's like P-E-T-Y-R. Yeah, it's just Peter. I think that's just how Russians write it in English, right? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:54:53 I think that is the fight of the night because that's the one that's going to be more contested, I think, I would guess. But yeah, I'm interested. I'm going gonna watch 100 but uh you know i'm not as excited as if it's like i'm the 155 pound division is what i'm really fascinated with john jones is what i'm really fascinated with anything he does uh and uh uh valentina shevchenko she's she she's one of my favorites rosinama unis another one of my favorites. Rosanama Yunus, another one of my favorites. The fight to make is Valentina Shevchenko versus Amanda Nunez, too. That's the fight.
Starting point is 00:55:30 Or is it three? I'm not sure. I could be wrong. I think it's two, but I could be wrong. I think that Valentina won the last fight they had. I thought it was very close. It went to decision, and I was surprised when they gave it to Amanda. But that's the fight to make.
Starting point is 00:55:47 She's the only one on the planet that can beat Nunez. Nunez is defending her 145 pound belt, in case you weren't clear on that. Because, you know, she owns two belts, obviously. It would be three. So Nunez has beaten Shevchenko twice so far. Yeah. I don't think she beat her in the last one. That's the one I saw.
Starting point is 00:56:07 Okay. But I don't. You KO'd her. No way. Oh, no, no. I'm looking. I'm making a mistake. Let me see.
Starting point is 00:56:16 Split decision. Okay. Okay. Yeah, split decision at that. So like the 145 pound division is a fucking joke without chris cyborg in it uh it's it's girls who either a have weird body types and are like just too big to make 135 like too but or lack of discipline sometimes they're a little chunky yeah they're it's it's overweight girls and and and sometimes they're like 40 years old 41 years
Starting point is 00:56:47 old and like that's part of why they're not making the weight or they just had a baby or something it's like the girls that you see fight at 145 are not that is not what you would want to show someone who that you were introducing to the sport of mma to the UFC in general? I would call it parallel to like 205, right? Which is to say that half the people in that division aren't looking very athletic. Like Daniel Cormier comes to mind. Dominic Reyes comes to mind. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:57:19 There's just a handful of guys who are like, oh, everyone else is in single-digit body fat so that they can make that weight but a lot of 205ers they're like 17 20 body fat or daniel cormier who's like something i i don't know yeah what is that is that 170 is welterweight right like that's the next class down um 185 is down 185 that's right i always forget about that one but yeah i think it's i think it's 185 pounders there's a lot of 185 pounders in the 205 division who just don't have a lot of uh you know willpower or whatever it would take to to drop that
Starting point is 00:57:58 other 10 pounds of fat that they're carrying around that they need to drop to get down to to that weight class but they're still still pretty damn effective at 205. And maybe they're on the bubble, right? They're like, ah, I don't know if I'm the same me if I'm cutting all that weight. And then still, if I lose the weight and I cut weight, whereas right now I'm just showing up. I feel so good. So who knows?
Starting point is 00:58:23 I think it could go both ways depending on someone's frame. If I were just introducing someone to UFC, I'm like, these are the best athletes in the world. The deadliest men and women in existence. There's a 145 pound women's fight tonight. Should I watch that one? No, you shouldn't watch.
Starting point is 00:58:39 Everything I said is true. It's true, I promise, but don't watch that because you're going to see the toughest chick at your gym who's like 15 pounds overweight fight tonight against a murderer from fucking Brazil. Megan Anderson probably doesn't...
Starting point is 00:58:56 She looks pretty good to me. I'm going to give you a picture. She does. She's not an example of what I'm describing. She's also in a title fight. She looks ready to throw some some br'm describing. She's also in a title fight. She looks ready to throw some bruisers. She looks fucking hot too.
Starting point is 00:59:09 She's strong too. She has big biceps. And big lats. Big pecs. I'm not making a titty joke. She's got nice pecs. She's got a great body. I think she's pretty damn attractive for an MMA fighter.
Starting point is 00:59:22 Look at that under the belly button area, Woody. Is there hair there? Yes, there is. A little bit. Am I missing it? Oh, it looks like there's something there. I need to zoom. That's a good looking lady.
Starting point is 00:59:34 There's a tattoo there. Is she tall? I don't know. 145. She's probably a big girl. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, look how lean she is.
Starting point is 00:59:44 And that's 145 pounds. She's a favorite? No. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, look how lean she is, and that's 145 pounds. And she's a favorite? No. No. No. She is fighting the greatest women's fighter ever. Who's that? Amanda Nunez.
Starting point is 00:59:56 Amanda Nunez. The boxer can beat up. Woody, do you think Amanda Nunez could beat all three of us up? Not at the same time. Oh, yeah. One of the two. Oh, we could gangb her if we wanted to. We could do anything we wanted to Amanda Nunez three on one.
Starting point is 01:00:11 I'm saying, how about this? She might be able to. This gives us even more of an edge. She has to face us all in succession. Can I go last? Not a bad choice. Okay. I'm going last.ody has to take her fresh
Starting point is 01:00:27 i'm getting screwed and then kyle you and i will rock paper scissors for a second she just hits like a ton of bricks and her jits she'd be a challenge is she a real challenge she's everything she's an mma fighter she's well she'd she'd win then because none of us are professional MMA fighters. She's a 135-pound girl, Taylor. You know all the flips and the dipsy doodles. Look, at some point, bigger is better. Bruce Lee can't beat up an untrained 300-pound gorilla man. Joe Lozon has said he can't beat Shaquille O'Neal. But he can beat up an untrained 300 pound gorilla man Joe Lozon has said he can't
Starting point is 01:01:06 beat Shaquille O'Neal but he can beat up Bruce Lee how much do you need to be able to curl for her to put you in like an arm bar and you just go I don't think she can't arm bar you why? because you're too strong and you're too big
Starting point is 01:01:22 I don't think she can arm bar Taylor it somewhat depends on what he's wearing too, right? Does he have clothing he can grab and keep it in there? Because here's Taylor's very strong, but he's not going to be stronger than a man. You knew Nia's back. If she's like holding his wrist and arching.
Starting point is 01:01:38 Uh, I bet I can keep her from, I would be interested to see that because I think Taylor could probably probably curl like like his one rep max is probably 165 170 pounds one arm that sounds too high no no with one arm with two arms so like with one arm if he's generating 80 to 90 pounds like she weighs 135 he can almost curl her body weight and Her back is easily going to be able to straighten to 200 pounds. It would have to be some sort of smothering approach where you try and just get on top and just be too big. You want to get your hands on her.
Starting point is 01:02:15 You don't want to strike with her. Oh, yeah. I could get a wrist in my hand. There's no way she could remove. I do know this. There is 0% chance that she could get her wrist out of my hand if I wanted it to stay. I don't think so either and and look i for anybody listening to this and laughing i don't i think amanda news could beat the shit out of me just to be just
Starting point is 01:02:32 to where she's professional i think i think she would i think she could probably beat me to death um i might survive but she probably could beat me to death i'm wondering if maybe if i curl up just right she can't kill me that that's where my thought process is i'm suggesting she has to fight me then woody and then taylor and then i think we got her i think we got her because she's gonna be fucking tired after getting through me and woody it's gonna take a couple minutes each she better be our cardio will be on a similar level by that point she's a real problem i she's gonna hurt me i don't want your job is to just soak up time and if she if she worked leg kicks too like like if she just if she just worked the leg kicks and crippled us and just picked us apart that would be so upsetting
Starting point is 01:03:18 that stings that stings no that's not what you would say you would you would she'd kick you yeah and give you like a horrible charlie horse after a few kicks and you just cramp up terribly right you'd be limping you'd be limping yeah i'd be limping after one there'd be a disconnect between your mind and your muscles right you'd be nerve damage and if she's if she's getting the back of the knee or something something high around the knee joint too like inside working inside leg kick outside leg kick picking off the same leg no you know what i sprint four off the start superman punch done in one second that that's what you'd
Starting point is 01:03:50 want to you'd want to like swarm her because you maybe the thing that she's best at that i'm worst at has got to be leg kicks and checking leg kicks in that order like like i can't check a leg kick i have no idea there's no way of dodging it there's no way my foot position is going to be even borderline correct and all right coming first of all i bribe the ref second i have i have some i'll see it coming and i'll watch it connect and then because i'm watching hands and i've got my own hands up i'm like oh yeah yeah yeah and all of a sudden there's like leg kicks coming at me i'm like dad the motherfucker from nowhere like like i i wish we could watch clips because like the cyborg fight is a perfect example of why she's so goddamn scary like i'll watch the clip i'm sure that's on youtube amanda find amanda news versus cyborg it's like a 40 second clip like she hurt she's so heavy-handed
Starting point is 01:04:39 and so accurate yeah i think i don't i i don think, I don't know. My strategy with her would be to be very polite and try and get on her good side. Yeah, learn how to say, please don't hurt me in Portuguese. No, no, sorry, kick, kicko. Kicko my leggo. What happens if you kick a woman between the legs like in the ufc
Starting point is 01:05:07 can they shake it off is it different than anywhere else i think it's illegal you can't do that they give them the they give them it is it's a low blow still and uh i've seen them i've seen low blows where they give them the like five minutes for like a cunt kick so is it the same it's not the same though right like no okay look it's awful to get punched in the belly but it's also part of mixed martial arts it's awful to get punched in the chin it's awful to get kicked in the thigh is a cunt kick on a different level than all these other things i just mentioned yeah yeah i think it's a super sensitive area for sure it's just but but our balls are just on another level of sensitivity.
Starting point is 01:05:47 That's our quit button for some people. For me, if there's a late thing, if I get kicked in the balls, the real rough part isn't going to kick in for about five seconds. And you see that in the UFC. They'll take it, and then there's like one Mississippi, two Mississippi. Oh! Yeah. It's rough.
Starting point is 01:06:08 Amanda Nunez is beating the shit out of this lady. And that lady is a bad motherfucker. That's a lady who abused steroids. Yeah, look at her head. Look at her everything. She borrowed it from Joe Rogan before the fight. Yeah, Joe Rogan called her made some comments about her appearance that he had to apologize for.
Starting point is 01:06:23 Dana White, the president of the UFC, called her, said she looked like Wanderlei Silva in a dress. Which is a great line. And Wanderlei is, or Vanderlei, however it's pronounced, is a very unattractive man. He can't even call his own employees ugly. What a world. Not sure she was working for the UFC at the time.
Starting point is 01:06:41 Yeah, she was with Bellator or somebody, Pride or some shit. Invicta, I don i don't know oh since we're on this topic i think something that even the non-mma listeners will enjoy okay gabby garcia talk oh what does that mean gabby garcia talk boys who's that oh my fucking god she's the bitch that woody linked to us in whatsapp the other day that looks like a fucking brick shithouse she's six fucking one 210 pounds lean oh yeah it says six two here dude i'm posting a picture everyone's looking at her she's not that lean in this shot but good god yeah that's an old that's that's from years ago that's a 205 pound man he fights 205 next to her that's fond of all natural no she she does you can even hear it in her voice she's got like masculization of her vocal cords um that's a woman who's not doing one of the, any of the female friendly steroids,
Starting point is 01:07:45 the, the, um, the, the non androgenic ones or whatever. She's going full horse. Like she's probably, she's doing like testosterone and testosterone derivatives. Like she's on real actual man steroids. Like a lot of ladies will take a Oxandrolone or something at a low dose. Cause it doesn't have those uh those masculine masculinizing side effects this chick is on some uh some stuff that has made her into i mean for like derrick talked about this like she's clearly an elite athlete natural but she has stepped that
Starting point is 01:08:19 up to a scary level and not only that she's like i think derrick said this she's a hyper responder to whatever she's taking as well so this is like five star and all three categories that make an enhanced athlete scary as fuck naturally she'd be a bad motherfucker because she's six two or six one whatever's legit probably six one for being fair these are all the same women look how like i'm not sure she's natural in any of these shots. If you're watching the video, I just sent them the ones you see one by one. She doesn't look natural. I'm on the last one now.
Starting point is 01:08:54 But she's hot. What she turned into? Good God. I saw her very recently. Did you watch her Instagram video where she's calling out that man for a fight? No. No. She's far away from this hulking physique she has wearing the yellow Ultimate Fighter jersey where she looks disgusting. She looks like fucking Private Pyle from Full Metal Jacket.
Starting point is 01:09:18 She's got that look in her eyes and everything. She's like, I am in a world of shit. She's fucking melting down scary as fuck there but in the bottom one that's gotta be like six years ago when she's like borderline bikini physique like super sexy looking great but still strong as hell um I want to find the one of her calling out the guy. Oh, no. Yeah, I'm trying to find that. But I've never been on her page before, so it's all new.
Starting point is 01:09:53 Fucking huge. Fucking huge. She's a giant lady. I don't know. She's Brazilian, so she's got that disgusting accent, though. Oh, no. What a shame. Of course she's Brazilian. Brazilian people are so into MMA.
Starting point is 01:10:11 They used to have a lot of the champs. Not so much anymore. Yeah. It was a big cultural thing down there. The other countries caught up. And the sport changed. Jits became more ubiquitous. The guys that were coming out of and the sport changed. Jits became, I mean, you know,
Starting point is 01:10:26 more ubiquitous. The guys that were coming out of the, you know, collegiate wrestling in the U S learn jets, the boxers that were coming out of Europe, learn jets, like everybody caught up and it was no longer kryptonite. It seems like defensive jets is a little easier to catch on to,
Starting point is 01:10:43 you know? So guys, they, they work for even just two, three years and suddenly Jits doesn't work on them very well. Yeah, which makes a lot of sense. It's a whole lot easier to defend something than to make it happen. Which probably isn't true for striking. It seems like striking would be the opposite. It'd be more easy to be in offense than defense.
Starting point is 01:11:08 To defend, you've got to be looking at their feet and understanding what their footwork means, how their feet are planted, if it's going to be a hook, a jab, a straight, or whatever. I don't know. Where's their head position? How are their shoulders? You've got to read that.
Starting point is 01:11:24 Baseball hitter. He's not so much watching the ball trajectory although he is he's also watching the pitchers release and the pitchers like right am i on target yeah yeah you're on target with ping pong you know like i i've hit back things i'm like i don't even know how i did that i just saw goalies probably do that too they did they see slap shop coming. They're not looking at the puck so much. They just sort of knew where it was going. Yeah, what you just were saying about baseball, that's one of the things that really distinguishes good pitchers
Starting point is 01:11:54 from great pitchers. They'll point it out a lot if you're watching a game. I remember one of the Braves pitchers, he's a young guy. I can't think of his name right now. But they were like, look, his release point is the exact same with his changeup and his fastball. Like his motion is exactly the same. You know, changeup is an off-speed pitch.
Starting point is 01:12:10 He's mixing it up between 78 miles per hour and 93 miles per hour. And the difference in speed means that their timing is never right. So like if your release is the exact same on both pitches, the batter never knows what's fucking coming. And then you mix in a breaking ball, and it's a whole other mess. He's a good pitcher. And the Braves have that guy right now? Well, maybe they're back on the upswing.
Starting point is 01:12:33 Braves will be in contention again for the NL. They made some good moves in the offseason. Dodgers did too. But it's going to be Dodgers or Braves. Those are your top two teams. Who else is in their division with them? In the National League? Or who's good?
Starting point is 01:12:48 Oh, wait. The National League is half the teams, right? Yes. Okay. I meant division. I don't know the divisions in baseball. Well, the Dodgers are... I mean, obviously, Dodgers are out west
Starting point is 01:12:58 and the Braves are in the east. Okay. Maybe I'll watch baseball this year. I won't, but maybe maybe i we got some third baseman named arnado or something the only thing that matters less than the the only thing that matters less than the mlb regular season is the nba regular season so if you want to watch have fun i'll wait till uh you know what matters less than basketball hockey i just feel like in basketball one one seed's almost always beat eights.
Starting point is 01:13:28 Two's almost always beat sevens. In hockey, regular season's over. Yeah, it could go either way. I imagine in basketball, they call the game the same way in the playoffs. In hockey, you can do whatever you want. It's understood the refs are going to swallow the whistle most of the time like you know they know people don't want to watch playoff hockey where there's a penalty every five minutes so they just let you
Starting point is 01:13:51 rough them and cross check true i also believe hockey has a bigger random factor i don't know if it's the deflections or just what but there's a random factor in hockey that seems to account for outcomes more so than basketball or football. It could be that. I mean, I think a lot of it's also parody because like Conor McDavid is the best player in the NHL by far. The Edmonton Oilers can't play him all night like LeBron can get played like you just can't. Like if they have him out for half the game, the story is like he played 30 minutes out of six. He won't be able to play two games from now what do they do those idiots they're playing in more than like 22 minutes like that's interesting about hockey like like i don't know what it is like why is substituting
Starting point is 01:14:36 such a big part of hockey and not basketball this is probably a stupid question to people that know but you go in basketball and people just putting forth like 70 effort normally you don't sprint all the time in basketball everyone jogs up and down the court why don't they sub in some feisty guy who just sprints constantly puts in a hundred percent effort for two minutes and then sits again and rests why is this effective in basketball i'm sorry in hockey but not other sports? Yeah. It should do that. That makes a lot of, like, because original, like, old school hockey, it was like, oh, they, you know, the guy's just out there until he wants to take a
Starting point is 01:15:12 shift, and then some coach was like, hey, if we have everybody go out there for like one minute, and you're going balls to the wall, and then you come back, we get a real advantage, and everybody else goes, oh, shit, we have to do that now, too, because we can't be having a bunch of, you know, people in 1950s skating around for six minutes getting blown out. I would imagine you could do that in basketball.
Starting point is 01:15:28 Why don't they do that in basketball? What are the rules and subs in basketball? You have to wait until, because I mean in hockey you can switch during the play. In basketball, you got to wait until what? A stoppage? I think you do need a stoppage. But still, they come very regularly.
Starting point is 01:15:42 Yeah, that's like a problem with basketball. Every time there's a foul, every time the ball goes out of bounds, like it's continuous. So I don't know the rules. There has to be a reason that they don't do this. I'll say this. I don't know what the rules are, but I know they're not taking full advantage of
Starting point is 01:15:55 and substituting every opportunity they get. They're not doing that. It has to be something about salary cap or star power. Like it has to be that like a depleted lebron james is just worth so much but more than a fresh anybody it has to be or maybe just a press offense press defense just isn't effective in modern nba where they get to like i i said this a couple weeks ago and so many basketball guys got mad i'm getting pms like in the nba they're allowed to to set up collect themselves and then they get to take three full steps and then they're allowed to take two steps up a step ladder and then they hop on their trampoline this below and it's just like
Starting point is 01:16:37 you're you're just you're not you're making my case for me that it's nonsense like you're making my case for i don't understand traveling and i try they can because like i guess in like college or high school they're allowed to take less steps okay it's like how does that make sense it should be the other way around there should be more steps it's like it's like that's how that's how collegiate football works like like what's inbounds versus what's out of bounds is a little looser. It should be like once you get to this superhuman, giant level of basketball, they take a step away because everyone in this league can get from the top of the key
Starting point is 01:17:11 to dunking it in three steps. So you only get two. In college football, I want to say you just need one foot down for it to be a catch. And in the NFL, I think you need two. That sounds right. It's like, all right, that makes sense. It's a higher skill level game okay they just decided
Starting point is 01:17:26 in the NFL if you're down you can get back up and run again also if no one touches you whereas in college if you're down you're down they should make the ball bigger harder to score I didn't know that at this case but yeah sports are silly some of them more than others
Starting point is 01:17:42 sports are fun it's fun to I mean like if it's a sport you like it's fun to just kind of lackadaisically follow it like it's something that like in my like just mindless like woody might be the same with uh with basketball like i'll watch non-blues games for hockey just because i like the sport a lot and then like i'll just spend time like on my phone like i wonder what that player i haven't thought about since 2009 is up to. He's still in the league, wouldn't you know? Oh, what are his stats?
Starting point is 01:18:08 Let me go to the years. Oh, he had a really good playoff in 2014. I'll just go on a goose run of just looking up all the different teams and comparing, and it's just fun. Sometimes there'll be a college guy that just set the world on fire. It's like, whatever happened to that guy? How did he work out? Also, I have never lost a professional game. My team has won several championships. My team often makes the playoffs but that team sucks i am my my
Starting point is 01:18:33 whether it's we won or they lost things are always good for me yeah it's always they lost too well right now those bastard flyers are losing to the Penguins, but they'll bring it back at the third. They lost the last one too. And you said that. They almost did. They came back 2-3, I think, and then they 5-2. Yeah, Blues are playing a little better.
Starting point is 01:18:57 I think the Blues play the – we're going to have a lot of our $5 bets in April because of Kyle with the Avalanche and the Blues because of the COVID schedule. I think Colorado had the COVID schedule. I think Colorado had some COVID nonsense. Nobody had it, but it was a procedural thing. They missed every early season
Starting point is 01:19:12 game. I think the Blues play the Avalanche seven times in April. $35 on the line. I don't know. Kyle has been making bucks. I don't know if this is a topic we can talk about it kyle's poker has become a profit center not just people have cleaned up a decent amount
Starting point is 01:19:37 of money in these these pokers yeah uh if you guys want to play in our little uh poker game um in the 50 uh uh patron discord link down below to our patreon um you you could very easily make that 50 bucks back in a i don't know 30 seconds playing in our uh our little cash game we have every night um we don't take a rake or anything because that's crime so we uh we just play a little friendly cash game, you know, small stakes. And we usually play six to eight or nine handed or something, wherever the table will hold. We usually got a full table and it's been a lot of fun.
Starting point is 01:20:16 I've been playing, I don't know, somewhere between six and 12 hours a day. You win literally every day, Kyle. Have you had any down days? I must've had a down day. Not in recent memory. I mean, like, you know, it's, it's all about like the total overall winnings and losings. Um, we were playing tournaments and, uh, where, you know, you pay the first first second and third place guy in the tournament
Starting point is 01:20:46 and everybody else gets nothing it's my least favorite kind of poker it's not it's it's my least favorite it's not the kind of poker that i grew up playing it's not the kind that i played for a living it's it's what i'm least familiar with it's it's not even what i like to watch on tv it's it's very different it's like oh, Oh, I got a good hand, everything in the middle because the implied, um, odds are just wonderful. It's like, Oh, if I double up or even triple up here, then I'm the chip leader. And I can just say check over and over until it was just me and one other person left. I'm just guaranteed money. Whereas, and also the blinds are always going up the forced bet. Uh bet uh it's always increasing
Starting point is 01:21:26 over time this is to weed out weaker players and to force them as a blind different than an ante but the same thing so it's very similar so um in texas hold'em you have a small blind which might be a dollar and then you have the big blind that follows right after it to the to the left you know clockwise um which will be two dollars it's usually double but it varies a little bit you could be one and a three and then an ante would be a a compelled bet from all the players so it would usually be much smaller so let's say the you'd have like a small blind would be a dollar big blind would be three dollars and then everybody would ante 50 cents is who wasn't in the smaller big blind. So an ante happens before you see your own cards
Starting point is 01:22:11 and a blind is when you decide that you like your cards. Okay. These are all examples of compelled bets, forced bets that just happen. Now we don't use an ante. It's something that's often used in cash games and poker games.
Starting point is 01:22:26 It's a rule set variation. It's not something we do. We also don't allow straddling, which I'm not going to get into. It's just more poker nonsense. The only difference between an ante and a blind is whether it happens at the very beginning or when it's your turn. No.
Starting point is 01:22:42 These are all compelled bets that happen every time you're dealt exactly the same they are exactly the same it's the amounts that they are that are different okay the only difference between an ante and a blind is that blinds are not the same for everybody they're rotating around so i'm the. The guy to the left of me, he is the small blind. He has put in a dollar. The guy to the left of him is the big blind.
Starting point is 01:23:10 He has to put in $2. Everybody at the table has to put in 50 cents who isn't the small blind or the big blind. Now I'm going to deal you all cards. The next hand, this guy is going to be the dealer that rotates to the left. What's the logic of the blind? Do you just get fucked? No, The next hand, this guy is going to be the dealer. That rotates to the left. What's the logic of the blind?
Starting point is 01:23:27 Do you just get fucked? No, it's only a dollar or two dollars. Is it important to be more invested in the game as it goes on, like so nobody's sitting back? It adds a complication to the game, and it's a compelled bet, so there's money in the pot. But everyone's glad they're not the blind. No, I want to be the blind.
Starting point is 01:23:47 It's a great way to disguise the strength of my hand. Explain that. How are you disguising the... If I'm the big blind, then I'm in the hand no matter what, unless someone raises it. So I could limp with a very strong hand, and they have no idea the strength of my hand, for example. You could just...
Starting point is 01:24:02 The position you're playing in is also very important. You know, if you're first to act or last act, if you're the first to act, then oftentimes that's a very strong position. You can raise. If the actions to me and then to you every time, we're playing heads up and I'm the one who gets to act, you know, the flop comes out, six, seven, king.
Starting point is 01:24:25 It doesn't matter if I got a six or seven or a King, I can put $10 in the pot and now you have to make a decision. The money's already there. Like, like you have to make a decision now. Whereas if I were in that, that seat over there, you could be doing that to me.
Starting point is 01:24:39 I have the option to bluff or to bet into it. Did he explain why you want to be the blind? And I missed it. Yeah. Yeah. I understand what he's saying with that i mean it's it's not like i wish i was the blind every time it's like you're saying you take advantage of it when you have it like you get a good hand and you're the big blind you can fool your way into people thinking you don't have what you have you usually can if someone as as the big blind if everyone just calls, if I'm the big blind, I'm in for my $2 already. Everyone to the left of me begins acting. Fold, fold, fold, fold.
Starting point is 01:25:11 Call. He puts his $2 in. Call. He puts his $2 in. Fold, fold. Small blind says, yeah, I'll put one more dollar in. And then now I have my option. I can check, which means pot's good.
Starting point is 01:25:22 Or I can raise. I'm the last to act. so what's happening with this being big blind is you're pre-paying everyone else will pay if they want to stay in there yes it evens up so in the very beginning it kind of no it's not the rotating well in that hand it rotates around everyone catches up to your three dollar beginning when you first explained it you were like i had to pay three dollars to play everyone else gets to pay less that's what it sounded like and i'm like oh this just blows but you're saying minimum to to get to the flop you know the three the three initial cards that are dealt out on the board is going to be what the big blind is unless the pot's raised and then you have to call that but the least amount of money that
Starting point is 01:26:06 you're ever going to pay to see a blind in this scenario to see to see a flop to continue in your hand is two dollars you're either fold or call or raise these are your three options okay in any case we have a very lively game it's a lot of fun so if you want to play uh i know a couple people have joined the patron just to play poker and they've done pretty well so far. I want some patron, some new $50 guru to come in and just start
Starting point is 01:26:33 leaning up. And Ganu's gonna Hey Ganu, who's the guy we had on the show, the pokey player, who's not a professional fighter? Negronu. Negronu. Very close. Well we also have Doug Polkon. He's a poker player. No, we didn't. No, we...
Starting point is 01:26:46 I was suggesting him as a future guest earlier. Yeah, if we had Negreanu on, it'd be fun to watch him clean up and take the money. Sure. I guess he would. Yeah, I mean, we're playing such small stakes, it's kind of weird. You know, the higher the stakes the higher skill level because you know people don't want to get out of hand and do silly things when there's hundreds of dollars or thousands of dollars or tens or hundreds of thousands of
Starting point is 01:27:13 dollars in play you know when you watch like the big cash games on tv where everyone's sitting there with between a hundred thousand and a million dollars and that can be at risk at any point they don't step out of line too much yeah it must be weird to play big dollars like that yeah the most i've ever played is like two dollar two dollar five dollar so you know the minimum you're ever going to pay to see a flop is five dollars and uh in poker like a standard pre-flop raise like let's say i've got a good hand i want to raise it to sort of get a bunch of people to fold because i don't want to play against five people if i've got pocket aces the odds of one of their someone's got an eight
Starting point is 01:27:55 nine the odds of them making a uh uh a uh a straight are pretty good so um yeah it's uh i don't know what this is. I told you we've had him on the show. We had this guy on the show? Yeah. Shit. I don't remember that. I don't remember that at all.
Starting point is 01:28:13 That's funny. I know. It all blends together. It all blends together. I guess we did have Doug Polk on the show. I'd love to have him again. I've been watching his content recently. His deep fakes are getting good, aren't they, Kyle?
Starting point is 01:28:26 They're really good. Just one courtesy of PK Clip Channel. But yeah, we used to play 2-5 a little bit. That was the bigger game that I played in. So you have to sit down with $500 to be at all competitive. But most people would sit down with $1,000 to $1,500. So the pots can sometimes, at one hand, you could win or lose you know three thousand dollars potentially but that's as big a stakes as i've ever played and that's that's not that crazy
Starting point is 01:28:52 like i mean it's it's no fun to lose a thousand dollars but it's not life-changing money um but what we're playing is um what usually 10 cents and 25 cents or 25 cent 50 cents like it's it's it's a much smaller game but um a lot of some money you know it's no limit so things can get a little ridiculous yeah and every so often some people put in quite a bit yeah yeah they do no no I won't call anybody out who's lost a thousand dollars this week I wouldn't do that to them certainly not I wouldn't talk about
Starting point is 01:29:37 folks that just keep coming back for more because I enjoy their company so much and I appreciate them as people exactly just having fun back for more because I enjoy their company so much and I appreciate them as people. Exactly. Not just having fun dominating poker. No, it's just fun to play. Just a good time.
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Starting point is 01:32:33 pka code so take advantage of that nixon line from all those bastards trying to steal your info on on public wi-fi it is one of the best vpn there. It is. It's the best one. That's why all three of us use it. Number one. If you're done with that, I just want to defend that gentleman that Woody was so scurrously defaming a few minutes ago who lost a little bit of money in the poker game. That gentleman's,
Starting point is 01:32:59 I don't know how many planes his family owns. That's what I want to know. I want to talk to him about his plane collection. But it's plural. I'm into aviation a little bit. I know some planes. I wonder what he has. Yeah, I'll ask him.
Starting point is 01:33:15 You know, maybe a little topic. I'd like to know. Does he know how to fly them? Has he mentioned that? I haven't asked that, but I would imagine that there is a pilot on call oh this isn't like a couple of his dad's not you know an adventurous he doesn't have an eighty thousand dollar single engine cesna no oh this is like a jet like he goes on vacations
Starting point is 01:33:37 look i i'm gonna find out um what i'm trying to say is the gentleman's family is is uh very wealthy yeah we're giggling at him for losing $100 and he's like I wipe my ass with $100 yeah it's all fun and games you know as he often says he's just like I'm just having fun here guys
Starting point is 01:33:58 because you know they'll talk a little smack when they beat him but real nice guy I enjoy his company yeah so I will link this video they'll talk a little smack when they beat him. And, uh, but real nice guy. I enjoy his company. Yeah. So I was, uh, I'll link this video because I, I was on stream today just doing a little,
Starting point is 01:34:13 little joking around. And someone I think mentioned the comments. You have to go to the comments and search newest on this video because the Helen Keller conspiracy has been sitting up long enough that now well-meaning people trying to learn about Helen Keller have tens of thousands of found it and so I was scrolling through reading the comments do I sort by newest yeah sort by new it is so fucking funny like these people are so mad shame on you dragging a 19th century disabled woman what's the point great job hero you've Dragging a 19th century disabled woman? What's the point? Great job, hero.
Starting point is 01:34:45 You've made such a difference. He's full of crap. She worked on her for hours. They can do anything, as long as they're willing to try. He's filled to the top with crap. The movie, this one's good. The movie should be called
Starting point is 01:34:57 Crouching Retard Hidden Genius. There are people right now who use the same techniques as Keller to communicate and who are deaf and blind. It's not rocket science. My grandmother also met Keller in the 60s. She was a nurse and said she was definitely not a fraud as to having met others who were both deaf and blind. I don't believe it. I think she's fibbing. Based on the amount of times the R word was thrown around, I thought this video came out in like 2010,
Starting point is 01:35:27 but it came out seven months ago. When functioning members of our society are throwing it around like that, I'm alarmed. There's half a million views. The moment you said retard, I was gone. So our boy has a P-51 Mustang, a Sabre, and a DC-3. God damn. So a DC-3, that's a thing people have?
Starting point is 01:35:55 I don't know what that is. I don't know either. I know what a P-51 Mustang is. I don't know anything about planes. So a DC-3, I didn't know anything about planes so a DC-3 I didn't know regular people okay so that it's like an older
Starting point is 01:36:11 I don't even know small passenger plane of course everyone knows a P-51 Mustang those there's only so many of those and they're very expensive at this point millions I think I just looked it up it's 2.25 million for the Mustang.
Starting point is 01:36:27 And I don't know what a DC-3 costs, but I'm not sure. Sabre plane for sale. Wait, F-100, what does this mean? Well, I don't think he owns this fighter jet. That's too hard. I'm going to look up the other one. What is the
Starting point is 01:36:44 DC-3? that's too hard i'm gonna look up the other one what is the uh dc3 hang on he gave me some more information i'm gonna confirm i can say this douglas aircraft for sale dc3 about a quarter million this particular one this one's about a million so that's a nice that's a little nice little budget plane compared to the 51 mustang they're expensive to operate i'm pretty sure this one's call for price yeah that always means a lot and the first one was a saber yeah i i pasted the uh the plane list and the is it an f-36 Sabre? Maybe from 1949. That's in line with
Starting point is 01:37:27 the other planes in his collection. Yeah, most likely. So his dad flew in Vietnam for the RAAF. He was the Qantas captain and roulettes leader, which is the Aussie version of the Blue Angels. It's his stepdad, actually. Nice job, Mom.
Starting point is 01:37:45 Get some. Ben has got a hot mom, you know it. You went to the same place. Our man's got a smoke show of a mother. Yeah. Next time he needs a hand. His mom is the trophy wife, too. I'm just putting that together.
Starting point is 01:38:02 Or maybe she's the breadwinner but the dad what it loves planes maybe and then she's like oh yeah we can get you some planes sure what one of them is winning some 30s yeah saber oh yeah don't you want a p51 mustang to go with your saber no one wants just a saber without a peanut that's peanut butter with no jam come on listen to how mad rebecca wow this guy is a real expert on the subject of deaf blind children and their capacity for communication
Starting point is 01:38:34 watch out scientific community here comes taylor to teach y'all a thing or two about how to talk out of your asshole three other people agreed with him they liked her comment why do they all keep saying retard her disability is well documented no shit
Starting point is 01:38:52 obviously that was never my contention yeah we all saw that you know yeah but I mean lots of people are seeing the truth here so it's okay all right I've got images of the planes now. One sec. Yeah, send them.
Starting point is 01:39:07 Oh my goodness. Does he have interior photos? That would be awesome. Especially for the same one. I'm going to screen grab all three aircraft. Plane rich is like A different No no no Taylor Plains rich
Starting point is 01:39:27 Sort by new again Taylor Oh no Did you Did you say something Take a look It's Sort by new I'm personally offended by the dude with the big head
Starting point is 01:39:46 he was using the r slur and clearly not giving that brave woman the respect she deserves I will not be sandbagged you sat there silence is violence and you didn't stop me from my horrible bigotry against that fucking retard lady it's got a thumbs up already
Starting point is 01:40:04 well I'm thumbsing it down i had to say something uh so now i get the photos so there's a there's the photos of the three planes that i described and then he's like oh yeah and he also owns these two planes but i don't know what they are he forgot about two as you do he forgot he forgot a couple of uh the the the fleet boneheaded so you know when you forget those vehicles you own this is cool yeah bottom one's really neat which one's that or is he not said he said he didn't know what they were he doesn't know okay my bad man these are really cool that how big is that top one in the first photo is that about the same size as the other small like single couple person or is that
Starting point is 01:40:51 way bigger that's the dc3 that's the that's big that's the biggest one yeah how many people can fit on that i don't know it looks like like 39 30 am i wrong it looked like, I'm wrong. I'm definitely wrong here. Wow, it is a really big plane. 21 to 32 passengers. You were right. Yeah, you're absolutely right. That's so cool. I don't know why I said that because I've been on a plane that holds five or six people and it's tiny. That plane, we flew in to get
Starting point is 01:41:21 when we were meeting up with you in Vermont. What a harrowing a trip that was oh my fucking god i was getting on a plane and they're like hey how much do you weigh what kind of fucking point is it like yeah we need to balance the left side and the right side that's literally what happened yeah like the pilot was a big boy. I'm going to say six, four. Fat. Two 75.
Starting point is 01:41:49 Yeah. Like, like, like not, not like a round belly, but like, like, like,
Starting point is 01:41:54 like he just straight in the front, but just big, like clearly he could lose some weight, but just a hoss of a man. Like, like he doesn't have a part time getting around or anything. He's like, he's like a lineman.
Starting point is 01:42:04 He's got, he's built like a fucking like pro lineman and he's the fucking pilot of this itty-bitty plane that we're flying from boston into vermont and uh and and like i'd never been on anything like this at a at a international airport before like we just go down steps and now we're on the runway and it's like can we be out here fuck and we just walk up the thing he's loading our bags into the wings and he's like who weighs the most i look around it's like me kitty her little cousin jj who's like 140 pounds or something like that and uh i'm like me for sure i'm like 200 and he's like all right you're my co-pilot the fuck are you talking about he's like yeah yeah just grab the checklist and i'm literally the co-pilot like i'm not touching the fucking gear or anything don't
Starting point is 01:42:48 get me wrong but i'm holding the fucking like checklist directions like like like you know he's going through it he's like yeah yeah i don't know what he's doing you know it's plain shit he's flipping switches and looking and doing his like pre takeoff checklist nonsense kind of worried me that he needed a list like shouldn't you just know but whatever he's rather they use a list i prefer the list i guess yeah we get into like these crazy updrafts in a in like a blizzard and we are gaining and losing what feels like 50 feet of altitude rapidly and repeatedly to the point where my right hand is holding the checklist but my left hand is underneath like like between my legs to the bottom of my seat pulling up like i'm on a horse like i'm
Starting point is 01:43:31 like i'm a fuck like riding a fucking like bronco or something like i have to pull to keep my ass in the seat because because we're just like up and down and look i'm not some kind of badass or anything but i do have this weird outlook on life and death, especially in a situation like that. And I'm just like, there's nothing I can do. This is completely out of my control. This isn't even like driving a car dangerously. I have no control of this.
Starting point is 01:43:56 We're either going to live or die. So I'm going to have fun. So I'm loving it. I'm like grinning. I look back at everybody behind me me and they are petrified. JJ is vomiting into a bag and he wants a second one to piss into. It's a little more nauseating when you don't have the window in front. I bet.
Starting point is 01:44:17 Although all you can see out the window was white, just white, like pumping into the, like we're flying on instruments alone. We had to sit down in like i don't know two hour limo drive from um wherever we were in vermont killington we had burlington we sat down in burlington and uh and uh had to hire a fucking limo to take us to the rest of the way it was a fucking nightmare did you guys give like a three-person little smattering of
Starting point is 01:44:43 applause when you landed safely i told him how much fun that was that was one of the most fun rides i'd ever been on like like i i drove those like pro stock truck things that was baja trucks out in vegas with uh bulzarian this was more fun than that and we were like jumping i don't know i don't know you saw the video a good updraft you know in a storm like that is about 10 meters a second so fucking cool it felt like nothing i've ever felt before it was like it reminded me a little bit of those rides you can do at like six flags where you're on the like the they like stretch you way down in that little capsule and then that slingshot it was like a slingshot ride with up and down and up and down but at the same time we're flying i don't know 200 miles an hour 300 miles an hour or something and doing that and the snow's
Starting point is 01:45:31 fucking killing us the fastest i've ever been in is four and a half this is on paraglider uh meters per second and that felt like a lot to me um 10 i've seen it on youtube and stuff i have friends who've done it, but I haven't. I wish I'd had it recorded. That's one of those moments where it's just like, God damn it, why didn't somebody pull out a cell phone? Fuck, that would have been great from Kitty's point of view back behind me.
Starting point is 01:45:54 Me looking back like, oh, we're going to die. You going, oh, oh, oh. And then the white clears and it heads into a mountainside. Kobe. That's fucking great. And it was cheap, too. Oh, I've been waiting on my chance to use
Starting point is 01:46:11 that in that way. Like, anytime something explodes, crashes, Kobe. Oh, I should have said it when those kids fell in the university. Damn it. Oh, yeah. To make that even more tasteless. Damn, he's been dead for over a year yeah barely escaped the fucking lockdown well i mean i i never watched rapist who was good at playing that game i don't give a shit about he wasn't even in
Starting point is 01:46:36 a cool movie like michael yeah yeah i don't think kobe was in a single movie was he good not that i mean michael, didn't he win an Oscar or something? Definitely not an Oscar. You have to be in movies for that. Did they make a documentary about it? Yeah, that would make sense. Especially because he died tragically and untimely.
Starting point is 01:46:57 So they probably make a documentary. No, he was getting into entertainment and he won something. Maybe he won an Emmy? I and he won something. Maybe he won an Emmy? I think he won an Emmy. Well, I don't think Michael Jordan won anything for Space Jam. That's a great fucking movie.
Starting point is 01:47:16 It really is a good movie. I mean, I haven't watched it in so long. I'm just going to believe that it still is a good movie. I'm sticking with you on that. Yeah, I mean, I think they're remaking it maybe with lebron are they heard something about that i think so i'm sure that'll be a home run yeah i doubt it be really good professional athletes notoriously good actors that bunny is the the the like female bugs bunny lola or whatever. I can smoke it. Super fucking hot.
Starting point is 01:47:45 I remember being like 11 watching that movie and being like, I would, I would fuck that bunny. Yeah. I'm a older generation. We wanted to fuck Jessica rabbit back in my day. Oh yeah, absolutely.
Starting point is 01:47:57 Yeah. Yeah. Jessica rabbit is like, uh, have you ever seen the clips in a who framed Roger rabbit where you're like for a frame, you see her nipples. Really?
Starting point is 01:48:12 Yeah. I mean, I just imagine that rabbit has a hairy navel yeah furry navel you might say i think that's the name of a drink fuzzy navel is that right yeah yeah are you an asshole if you order an uncommon drink if you if you order a fuzzy navel are they like what oh that's not a common drink not at all yeah a fuzzy navel is like i don't know what's in it but it's like a fun kind of shot it'd be like everybody gets a purple viking or everybody gets a you know yeah a purple viking is that uncommon like no i i don't even know what that is that may have just been like some bullshit mixed drink they gave shots of where it's like half some like cheap ass off-brand purple energy drink and then tequila in there i don't know what it is i don't know i don't know drink names so uh but but i know what i want like it's usually like two shots of top shelf tequila like shaken with ice so it's chilled
Starting point is 01:49:00 and with a lime like that that's what i want 99 of the time or usually just take from the beer menu because i mean it's already all there and be like i just want to leave now because it's really loud and all the drinks taste like alcohol yeah one of the drunk one of the drunkest times i've ever had was meeting woody for the very first time and i've been hanging out with paul in chicago for like a week solid. Paul's, I love, I love Paul to death, but he's an alcoholic, um, a functioning alcoholic running his own business worth millions of dollars. Alcoholic nonetheless. Doing a good job then. Doing a wonderful job. You know, got to take the stress off at the end of the day. They sold, made many millions more
Starting point is 01:49:41 since I knew him. In any case, liked maker's mark manhattans with lots of extra cherries and so when he ordered one he's like what do you want i'm like that looks good to me because like what am i what do i know i fucking bud light like yeah give me what you got man i don't know what i'm fucking doing i'm like 25 i i haven't drank anything nice in my life so like yeah maker's mark manhattan with extra cherries is a strong motherfucker and it's a lot did you get a double because it's not a shot it was like a it's a mixed drink but it's mostly fucking booze and it what's it called manhattan a manhattan yeah and uh and obviously i don't think it is uh yeah it's it's i mean it's almost a coffee cup yeah it's about a coffee cup worth of something strong
Starting point is 01:50:23 makers yeah i have had one of those and it's i don't like it and uh nobody likes the first one taylor so you know but but i would drink two or three and so so like i meet woody for the first time and we're at the bar and uh and i'm like hey you want to get a drink and he's like i'm sure what he's trying to be cordial he's like yeah sure i'm sure in his head he's like, oh, I don't really want one. But, you know, that would be friendly. I'm sure that's what was happening. And I was like, yeah, let me get a Maker's Mark Manhattan with extra cherries.
Starting point is 01:50:53 And Woody's like, make it two. Or did you order two of them? I think you ordered for both of us. I could be wrong on this. I'm not sure. You may have been like, yeah, I'll tap what you're having. And I was like, yeah, give us two Maker's Mark Manhattans with extra cherries or whatever. on this i'm not sure only you may have like been like yeah i'll tap what you're having and i was like yeah give us two makers mark manhattans with extra cherries or whatever in any case you went
Starting point is 01:51:09 nope and so now i'm like double fisting manhattans now i'm sitting there with like 16 shots of liquor or something in front of me and i I'm just like, well... Double fisting Manhattan. I'm very classy. You're going to meet a very altered version of me tonight, Woody. I took like a... You can't just not drink it because it's like that's an expensive kind of drink to buy. I don't even know.
Starting point is 01:51:37 Like a $15 drink or something. But you know what? It's wasted on me. Bar's expensive. It's like a fancy hotel it's boston yeah i i'm bar tab is going to be 80 every night like i just know it is going to be so you just yeah it's gonna be 80 we'll write it off it's a business expense i'm fucking entertaining stuff like bud light it's always safe you know what you're getting fuck that i don't want beer i don't want to be pissing all night i want liquor i look alcohol is like any other drug
Starting point is 01:52:04 like i want it in its most pure form. Fucking inject it if you can. Like, give me a fucking alcohol injection and I'd take it. Like, I just want to get drunk. This isn't about what it tastes like. And by the way, the first one tastes like shit every fucking time. Yours, Woody, was delicious. I loved it.
Starting point is 01:52:23 It was like, oh, I'm getting the notes of cherry now i'm chewing the cherries up i'm like oh i gotta get it all down so i can get to the cherries i tasted a touch of it kyle and i disagree strongly mine oh mine tasted just like yours you gotta get through mine before yours tastes good though that's that's just the way it works i should have offered the cherries i i should have got a pina colada or something because I would have actually liked it. Yeah. And then in the future, when Woody have drank together, it's like, give us two gingerbread martini.
Starting point is 01:52:54 Gingerbread holding umbrellas. There's literally a gingerbread martini. There's a picture of us somewhere at Outback Steakhouse enjoying our gingerbread martinis together. We're like, tink. I love to imagine Woody ordering a virgin gingerbread martini. Like us to bring you a cookie, sir. You got the adult one. You got the adult one.
Starting point is 01:53:14 I did in that case, but you're not far off. That's my cruise ship move. You know, what a Jolly Roger. That's my bit. Everyone's getting drinks. Jolly Roger right here. here i mean what oh it's like a sprite with the um cherry juice from like the maraschino cherry mixed in and that's it it looks like it's not it was delicious that sounds wonderful i like uh what was that guy i like pineapple juice so much.
Starting point is 01:53:45 What's that paired with? Every fucking thing? Rum, mostly, but everything. Yeah, I would do rum. You said you like pineapple juice, right? Yeah. And Taylor said what's that made of? What's it paired with? Oh, okay. That's where I lost you. Yeah, I would do
Starting point is 01:54:02 rum and a little cherry juice and slice of pineapple on there if I were making some kind of fruity drink or just you know make a frozen one that's probably what a fucking pina colada is i don't know what's in mixed drinks i mean that's what is kind of coconutty yeah like a daiquiri just rum coconut too yeah most of them have rum it seems like those tropical drinks which makes sense um but uh so i i only like i don't like the taste of rum straight up i don't think anybody uh like like dark rum like a spiced rum i could sip on that a little bit and take shots of that like uh but uh but in a mixed drink it's really good but if i'm drinking it's it's almost always going to be tequila or vodka.
Starting point is 01:54:46 Vodka's always a safe bet. And you can mix it with anything. It mixes with anything because it's a neutral spirit. Sparkling water or whatever. I would never do that. That sounds disgusting. Well, but the thought of doing what you do and putting five shots in there and having to do a glug glug, like two of the biggest glugs you can yeah i think i would vomit if i if i did that so i would i would prefer
Starting point is 01:55:12 you know meet it out a little bit throw some some perrier in there a little bit of sparkling flavored water with the vodka see see i'm the opposite like like the idea of that of making it more voluminous carbonated you need that but but still fucking strong as fuck sounds so gross to me whereas i could get like a bitch when it comes to mixed drinks that i make at my house like you know you get like a vodka water at a restaurant it's like this just you know this tastes a lot more like vodka than water i'll put like whatever amount of vodka in there and like a big beer glass that I just open a LaCroix whole thing. And so what are you doing to yourself? I mean, I like it.
Starting point is 01:55:52 It tastes better. Yeah. And I'm with Taylor. I don't know why they make them so strong at bars. And I've asked for weak ones like, you know what? Just a little bit of alcohol, a lot of soda. That's I'm not here to get drunk. Bartender's like, no, I make them like I drink them.
Starting point is 01:56:08 Fuck you. You should order it like that. You should be like, I want a rum and coke, one shot of rum, one entire Coca-Cola. Yeah. And add a little syrup. You know what? Lose the rum. How about an extra sweet Coca-Cola?
Starting point is 01:56:24 Can you do a Coca-Cola? Can you do a Coca-Cola with that maraschino cherry juice? I'm a big fan. Dude, but Kyle, that's the best benefit of beer. Consistency. You know exactly what you're getting. You find a beer that you like. Like, let's say I really love a rum and coke.
Starting point is 01:56:39 And then the bartender switches out. And then I get a different one. And let's say, you know, I'm not like Woody. I want to get my money's worth. And it's like, oh, well, this one sucks. That's not consistent. You know, I find a nice beer I like Woody. I want to get my money's worth. And it's like, oh, well, this one, this one sucks. That's not consistent. You know, I find a nice beer. I like that's going to be the exact fucking same. Always.
Starting point is 01:56:49 You know, I don't like beer. I don't like the taste of beer. It's I mean, most alcohol I don't like unless you like cram sugar in it, which is just you don't want to do that. It's it's not any good. I think Jaeger. I actually like the taste of that, but that's just kind of white trash at this point. I look down on Jaeger, so I don't want to be a Jaeger drinker.
Starting point is 01:57:11 We have a friend who would take that personally, Kyle. Friend of the show. He should lay off the Jaeger too. You should have started on vodka a while back. Way lower sugar. Vodka or tequila or like whiskeys. I hope he's out there smiling at the show right now looking down at us oh jesus i wonder how he's doing he's gone social media
Starting point is 01:57:33 i don't know i remember last time we discussed him he'd been banned from something i don't know is he streaming anymore so So he has an Instagram. February 15th is his last. Oh, let me read this. Actually, I'm Instagram February 15th. I haven't pre-read this, so we'll see where this goes. Everyone wants an update. It's been a constant thing that has actually been annoying me.
Starting point is 01:58:00 I'm not ignoring my viewers. Hell, this is a personal Insta. But a lot of you guys just want to know my next move or what I'm going to do. I don't have anything for you. I honestly don't know. All I know is that I'm at peace in love with my soulmate. I didn't get her flowers today, Valentine's Day. Not because I forgot.
Starting point is 01:58:18 It's just when I do stuff like that, it's never an I'm sorry flowers or because of a tradition. Okay, this is tough to read. Every single day with this woman is special and I'm in a very peaceful place. When I lost my YouTube channel, I wasn't devastated or mad. I have her, my rock, my peace, my everything. So to those that are frustrated that I haven't given you an update, I'm just cherishing every single day with my soulmate, my woman, my everythingmate my woman my everything this is my valentine's message to her bakara 15 the only one I want to grope that's your update that was sweet like he's doing a lot better good for him like I mean clearly the whole streaming thing was like
Starting point is 01:58:59 feeding in a feedback loop of destruction like just drinking all the time and feeling crappy about it and all that. So I must be a bad person because I read what wasn't there. I didn't read anything about employment. I didn't read anything about like things going well. All I read is every piece about me is completely about somebody else. I mean, it's probably good for him to distance, get away from that online streaming world for a while.
Starting point is 01:59:27 Oh, for sure. For sure. I don't think that was going to go any place in a healthy direction. But to go into a healthy direction, I would like to see him say, hey, got my teeth fixed, got a job, no longer dependent on substances.
Starting point is 01:59:44 That's where we want to see him going. What he said was, I'm incomplete without someone else to fulfill me. I mean, it seems like he's doing better, so hopefully he is. Kyle, you are muted, my friend. As long as he has all of his appendages, things are on an upswing, because it looked like he was going to lose some toes. Yeah. my friend as long as he has all of his uh appendages uh things running up swing because
Starting point is 02:00:05 you know look like he's gonna lose some toes uh yeah that's a huge win it really did look like a couple toes were gonna be gone and he hasn't lost yeah i don't know i i side with woody on this um you know but look he's in love that's uh that's good better than that's uh i mean there's worse things there's worse things right like like you know he could be like oh yeah all i care about right now is heroin my rock my one love okay okay sweet heroin black car heroin in my fucking wrist in my fucking between my toes hiding them track marks from the po i love heroin yeah it would be funny if that whole thing he wrote then he reveals it was to jaeger at the end my rock my love my one true my one true sense of being at jaeger meister
Starting point is 02:01:00 jaeger meister is like, glad you love the product. We're sending you a complimentary case. And he's just like, no, no, you don't know what you've done. I bet that happens on like alcohol social media channels. Like someone will be like, I love Tito's. I fucking love Tito's.
Starting point is 02:01:20 Send me something. And then they're like, here's a free Tito's bottle or a bottle opener. And then they're like, here's a free t-dose bottle or a bottle opener and then they're like here's a picture of all the t-dose i drank last week i got this um it was really funny happenstance one time like i did this thing for red bull and they sent me like many cases of red bull and then at the same time i did this thing for this vodka company i don't even know how i got hooked up with them but they made like all these flavored vodkas and it wasn't great vodka but i i don't even know what i did maybe some sort of social media push or something like that
Starting point is 02:01:54 but they sent me cases of their vodka and so i had like five Oh, no. The big real ones? They sent me cases of full-size family bottles of vodka. They're like, yeah, just do something with them. We don't care. I made this video that I deleted. I never used it because I didn't know what to do. Harley
Starting point is 02:02:21 was down and he wanted to do a collab. I was like, yeah, we'll do a thing you know on epic meal time and i'll join you we'll do a meal at my house and then um if you want like we can do some kind of fps russia food based thing and i just didn't like it's some like there was a lot of times where i was just like this is this is horse shit i don't want to upload this this is garbage i don't like how this turned out and i just throw it away and this was one of those instances because i didn't know what to do i didn't know what to do with it like you can't just shoot them they're glass bottles right i was blown like i was doing a bunch of food related stuff like i was blowing
Starting point is 02:02:55 turkeys up like whole turkeys and uh a fucking you gotta buy whole turkeys frozen and we didn't have time to thaw them out and when you blow up a frozen turkey, turkey bones get shot into your fucking leg. So I had turkey bones in my fucking leg that I'm pulling out and that really put a damper on the rest of the day because I've got turkey bones in me and that's scary because it seems like the sort of thing that gives you gangrene in some sort of fluke
Starting point is 02:03:18 scenario. Yeah, that can't be good for you. So I'm pulling turkey bones out of my fucking shin and so then it's like, alright so what's part two of this awful video where we blew up a fucking frozen turkey and got hurt? And so now I'm literally shooting full-size family bottles of vodka, and I shot up like 15 bottles of vodka or something. And I'm like, it looks like shit.
Starting point is 02:03:39 I was like, we don't have – it just looks like shit. So I just threw the video away. You just threw them away away didn't have any vodka or probably oh i had so much vodka there was plenty after that like like there was vodka like everybody in my life got got multiple bottles of vodka like like because i didn't have anything to do with them i didn't like vodka i didn't drink i was smoking weed like yeah i didn't want vodka i wanted i wanted weed and uh but but i drank all that fucking red bull that was cool yeah i would love just an energy drink sponsorship i have red bull or those white monsters like i've said the white monsters
Starting point is 02:04:12 are the best flavor yeah i've got the uh the zero calorie monster the white one's good i tried the red one horrific the purple one is ass the orange one's not too bad which was i'm a big red bull fan um if i had to if i if i had my dr which was i'm a big red bull fan um if i had to have i if i had my druthers i'd want a red bull sponsorship because that's what i actually like the most over monster monsters too sweet but um i've got like the you know i used to have it in my background the like gas station giant red bull can refrigerator and uh somebody in the patron, uh, the discord was like, um, my mom works for corporate at Red Bull. Um, how did you get that? Cause you're not supposed to have those gas station went out of business and, uh, slipped him a hundred bucks.
Starting point is 02:04:59 So, uh, now I have one. Yeah. Yeah. They're told my mom. She's kind of concerned about that. I'm like, come try to take it from me, but I'm not giving it back or anything. That motherfucker's mine.
Starting point is 02:05:10 It's my fucking Red Bull refrigerator. I love it. Do you put anything in there other than Red Bull? Yeah, everything. It's like waters and stuff. I don't have it here. I've got it at my dad's house right now with a bunch of my shit that I didn't need.
Starting point is 02:05:24 All my paintball gear and various, all sorts of shit stored in my dad's house. now with a bunch of my shit that's like i didn't need like like all my paintball gear and like various all sorts of shit stored in my dad's house all my gym equipment but uh but yeah i i love that thing i think it's super cool because you can't get them unless you steal or trick someone at a gas station into selling you their like display model it's the big one isn't it it's not the little one that sits on the counter no it's fucking big it's like it's a the little one that sits on the counter. No, it's fucking big. It's a Red Bull can that's the size of a person. It's on wheels, and it plugs into the wall.
Starting point is 02:05:53 The top is a big plexiglass circle with a handle on top that you lift. The entire inside is refrigerated to refrigeration temperature, 40 degrees or whatever. You can throw drinks in there. there looks fucking cool in a room it does I like stuff like that little what's the word like kitsch stuff like little
Starting point is 02:06:13 thematic things it's neat yeah it'd be cool in like a room with a pool table like whenever you buy a new house if you have like room for a pool table in the basement or something make a little area that'd be neat I have a very nice pool table it's a three-piece slate pool table that i would love to sell um if anybody is in uh you know northeast georgia um you know get in touch with me if you want a three-piece slate pool table and and everything because
Starting point is 02:06:39 it's just in there no i don't want it do you want it all you gotta do is pay to have it fucking shipped and taken apart i have a pool table though oh well there you go is it a seven foot eight foot nine foot i don't know it's a big one it's at least eight i don't know it's it's it it was very it was like a four thousand dollar pool table i don't know if that's expensive or cheap that's a good i think i know it costs like six hundred dollars to move it because i paid six hundred to fucking get it to my place and then at one point we were like oh well we really put it in an awkward area huh boys like we need to work here and it's like all right well six hundred more to move it 50 feet that way so that you know they got to come take the felt off and then take all three pieces of slate put them in this like thing and then like wheel everything and reassemble
Starting point is 02:07:30 it and it's like five six hundred bucks every time you fucking do that so it's just sitting uh at this other place i've got just doing nothing yeah it's outrageous i'm like because you know obviously my basement flooded and like you get the little itemized thing where it's like they'll pay this much for that this much for that and like like just like you said hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of dollars just to cover like yeah and they need to move the pool table out to put the carpet in then then immediately move the pool table back in and it's like oh that's like a tremendous ordeal apparently you know i don't even like pool i'm not i think it's fun i don't even like pool. I think it's fun. I don't like being competitive with it but it's fun to play pool socially
Starting point is 02:08:08 like 2v2 or play cutthroat with two other people. I'm not good at pool. I'm not either. I can shoot straight shots and nothing fancy. Of bar games, I'm pretty decent at darts. I'm better than you might think at darts. I've never really played.
Starting point is 02:08:23 Never really tried. Better than you might think at ping pong i've never really played never really tried better than you might think at ping pong yeah he's very good at ping pong okay i've never played before the first time we and i played each other and i'm just like this ain't fair i'm just like katunk and he's like ha ha i do that all the time coming off the wall behind him. I'm like pub stomping non-players. I'm like crawling around in the corner trying to wrangle the ball. He's fucking shooting at me.
Starting point is 02:08:51 Friendly, aggressive, high spin serves. He's like Forrest Gump or something. I've literally never played this game before. Ping pong's a ton of fun. Tabletop, just silly, casual games. Although it doesn't stay casual. It's pretty... It's also one of those games where
Starting point is 02:09:12 you'll play a few games of ping pong and you're like, I shouldn't be sweating. I've got a ping pong table too. Yeah. I want the Colorado house to have a ping pong table. Yeah. Dude, alright. So I've been looking at these Colorado houses.
Starting point is 02:09:25 Okay. There's one. The pricing is somewhere between 500 and 1200 a night. Huge swing. I get that. Um, the stuff that's, I think it like $900 a night.
Starting point is 02:09:39 There was one place that is absurd, like private chef for a little extra limo ride from the airport for a little bit extra full casino in the basement, like with an actual roulette wheel and all that stuff. But it's like, I don't need all that, like big eight person hot tub indoors. Like, but we don't need all that. I feel like it's excessive. I feel like it's excessive. But then there's several of them that come with these really cool game rooms that have foosball, ping pong, billiards, a poker table, like all the table games that come with their own table to do
Starting point is 02:10:14 that you can imagine. Like a couple arcade machines in the corner. And three or four of the houses that we're looking at have theaters in them. And don't think like too crazy probably similar what you have woody like 128 inch projection screens um but maybe the difference would be like some of these have some of these have like um theater seating so like oh really fancy um like like the tiered yeah and tears i'd like that i think especially oh so i don't know pot but it's like it pairs well with movies right oh yeah very well oh it's the best it's it's it's it's what i'm
Starting point is 02:10:54 my so the main concern with the house like here are my here's my list of like my tier list of like what the house needs my checklist number one thing's internet because we got to be able to work from there i got to be able to work from there like i don't want i don't want some fuzzy fucking connection i also need like some kind of a workspace so that i don't have to sit in like a kitchen chair at a kitchen table like a little desk well you know oh this is not the rental place this is where you move to no this is the rental place okay i'm listening like the rental place has to have these things has to have to have good internet. That's number one because nothing else matters beyond that. If it had everything I could possibly imagine,
Starting point is 02:11:28 but, but shitty internet, it doesn't work. The show must go on. Yeah. Show's got to go on. So good internet. And then after that,
Starting point is 02:11:35 like the TV is this literally the second most important thing. Uh, if it doesn't have at least a 55 inch, like we're just like, Nope, that won't work. Like get out of here. Poor people coming at me with this 40 inch TV.'s no way i'm doing that like when we were considered when
Starting point is 02:11:50 taylor and i and uh we're going to on our super bowl trip a few years back um i was considering renting a tv at a rent-a-center to supplement the tv that was at the house because it was only 55 inches yeah i ended up working out okay the couch was pretty close to that tv yeah yeah but i gotta have at least 55 inches and i really want like a 70 something inch like i've got i'm in my bedroom like there's a 72 inch tv right over here in my living room there's whatever you got 55 must seem tiny to you hd whatever samsung thing yeah i gotta have a big tv and uh so that's the second most important thing and then after that it absolutely has to have washer and dryer because we're gonna be staying there so long then it's like lesser things like kitchen's important and then
Starting point is 02:12:35 yeah that's important um i know like a bunch of the guys like work out so like we're trying to find places that have either a gym there or uh because a couple of places have like gyms that like rival yours woody like in the house which is super fucking cool um i upgraded mine today i look forward to seeing some video or uh woody has a very nice gym for those listening i don't know if he it's very fancy um and uh you know so so we're looking places that either have a 24-hour gym nearby or uh you know a gym in the in the building or in the house or nearby i was thinking like about the gym aspect and like i have these looped resistance bands that i don't use very often and like i'm honestly a little disappointed you're like yeah we're gonna go to a real gym because
Starting point is 02:13:24 i was like oh fuck i was like looking forward to a real opportunity to be like like what can can i really get everything done with these bands really they always talk about that like you get a lot done with a kettlebell i know that's hard to travel with but like i'm saying you have done a lot with a kettlebell yeah that's true yeah but i'd much rather go to a real gym kettlebell yeah that's true yeah but i'd much rather go to a real gym yeah i know uh chocolate thunder he's afraid i can't keep up like you guys are both really strong i'm gonna be like you're stronger than me let's take the plates off boy i don't want to do with this you know what but the way we're eating there i will i'm gonna be devoting myself to cardio at any gym But the way we're eating there, I'm going to be devoting myself to cardio at any gym.
Starting point is 02:14:06 I'm saying we. I'm inviting you to my guilt. The way I'm going to eat on vacation, I prioritize that. I'll cook. I'll make some healthy stuff. If I take my normal workout routine and I make it like 45 minutes of cardio every day, every morning or something, I can pretty much go balls to the wall with food, I think. 45 minutes.
Starting point is 02:14:25 You can't out-card cardio a bad diet, right? I can mitigate it. Okay. 40 minutes of decent cardio, you're getting 500 calories down. That'll take a big chunk out of things. It's a vacation. I'm going to gain weight, but I'd rather gain a couple
Starting point is 02:14:41 pounds instead of seven or six. I know Chocolate Thunder wants to play some 2v2 basketball. I told him good luck finding somebody who wants to play with you. I want to play with him, not against him. Right? I don't want to play basketball. I'll watch the video that y'all film while you're playing. I'm not good at basketball.
Starting point is 02:15:03 55-inch TV that night. I like Chocolate Thunder. I'm on he wants to go yeah yeah i i invited him the other day um right now i i think um uh like i said we're doing the two different groups because like that groups don't mesh that well we got like the patron group and then we got like the old school guys that have been around forever and some a little oil and water with it has there been conflict that i'm not familiar with yeah a little bit you know like like just some people just don't love some people and maybe don't want to spend time with them in the same house and plus you know it's it's a lot of people to do like like it's like all right we got to find a house that can have that has 10 beds and can sleep 15 or 10 bedrooms that can sleep 15 it's like ah that really limits
Starting point is 02:15:51 our decisions here it also changes the group dynamic like there can be sort of one group if it's seven people but when there's 18 people there's almost three groups and it like socially it changes that up. Yeah. So I invited for like the first week, I'm assuming it'd be the first week we could swap that back and forth. But for group one, I invited Waggish and Chocolate Thunder and Dirty and Fish and Ari. And I might be leaving and Chocolate Thunder, I think I said, and I might be leaving somebody else.
Starting point is 02:16:23 I apologize if I am, but I think that's the group. And then me and Chiz and you two, if you want to come, or you can come to the second group. It doesn't really matter because the second group would be like guys like Scum and maybe Middy and Urban and ZT and DJ and like all those guys that are in like the OG side of the Discord. It's a good group too and no class. No class. He's got his
Starting point is 02:16:49 travel restrictions obviously from Australia. Oh my dad got the COVID vaccine today. He did. I was talking to him about poker two days ago and he was saying that he's real tempted to go play in a game near him
Starting point is 02:17:08 that's a live game in person and everything. Internet's so spotty where he is, he just turned it off a while back. They were always showing up with another excuse, and it just wasn't going to work. So he got a satellite. You had a similar experience. Yeah, he got a satellite for cable, or not for cable. Satellite, yeah.
Starting point is 02:17:24 Television, and just cut the internet off because it just wasn't working it just not not a real service there and uh so so you say yeah he's real tempted to go play poker and i was telling him you know i've been doing okay playing a little poker and we're talking about it and i'm like wow man you should go get that vax why haven't you gotten your vaccine yet You should get vaccinated before you go sit at a poker table, even with a mask. You're rubbing shoulders with eight other guys, 10 other guys or something like that for six, eight hours at a time.
Starting point is 02:17:53 You're 67 years old. You should get the vaccine. Why haven't you gotten it? And he's like, I called my doctor and they said they don't have it. I'm thinking about calling the health department a second time. I called them a month ago and they didn't have any openings and i'm like hold my beer that i'm not allowed to have something you're gonna have to hold it and i like i do a little googling and i'm like ah here we go copy paste copy paste send it i'm like i call them back i'm like all right
Starting point is 02:18:16 click that link fill out the form at the bottom call the number at the top you're good and sure enough like the next like yet today was the net. That was yesterday. Was that unrelated to the lead that we had talked about before the lead? You sent an image. I'm trying not to say too much. You sent me an image. Someone said, Hey, is Woody serious about the vaccine? No, completely unrelated. Yeah. Completely unrelated. Yeah. One of our wonderful $50 patrons came up with a great way to get Woody vaccinated.
Starting point is 02:18:45 So, cause I think they're just giving the vaccine out in North Carolina. So that's good. Or at least to some people, uh, in any case, um, yeah, he,
Starting point is 02:18:53 he called me today. He was, he's like, yep, got the vaccine all good now. Uh, so, so I'm,
Starting point is 02:18:58 I'm happy about that. I'm glad he got it. I look forward to getting it myself. Me too. I look forward to getting it. Cause I want to, I don't know. Just I'm done with the quarantine. Uh, emotionally that is. And, it i look forward to getting it myself me too i look forward to getting it because i want to i don't know i'm done with the quarantine uh emotionally that is and uh right right like it is
Starting point is 02:19:17 i guess the actual threats dropping too i mean the number of cases and deaths and stuff are just tumbling right now um maybe it's just doing what flu season does and it'll spike again in the fall i i don't know i'm not pretending to be able to do i just say it's going down what flu season does and it'll spike again in the fall. I don't know. I'm not pretending to be able to do. I just say, it's going down. I'm happy for that. Um, my mom is eligible. My parents are,
Starting point is 02:19:30 I suppose. And she first was waiting for the Johnson and Johnson one. She doesn't react well to the flu virus, gets sick. And, uh, she didn't want to injections. She'd rather do JJ does a one shot as opposed to two i believe that's what my
Starting point is 02:19:47 dad did i believe he got the the single dose uh vaccine i talked to her recently and uh she's like i'm not sure i'm gonna get it at all i don't like it i don't know if i recognize the threat and stuff and it's like god you're 70 years old. You have respiratory history. Like you're a COVID problem. You should get it. Mom. Yeah. Especially get the stuff. Yeah.
Starting point is 02:20:09 I was, I was watching binging with the Babbage today at one of my favorite cooking channels. He was, and it was, I saw it was about curry, which I love. So I was like,
Starting point is 02:20:17 I watched this and the beginning of it, he's like, this video is dedicated to blah, blah, blah. Who was the guest star in this video? He died of COVID. And I'm in my head. I'm like, he's like, we talked to his family to see if it was okay to upload
Starting point is 02:20:29 this. And they said, yeah. And what he didn't say was, yeah, as long as you plug his company, because so then he plugs the company and, uh, and then, um, the product and then the video begins. And before the video begins, I'm like, bet this dude's fat. Yeah. And sure enough, it begins. And he's like 60 pounds overweight or something like that. And it's like, bet this dude's fat. Sure enough, it begins and he's like 60 pounds overweight or something like that. I was going to say it's the number one comorbidity, but I'm not sure. It might be age, but it's a huge
Starting point is 02:20:53 comorbidity. If you're obese, probably age first, weight second. Age has got to be number one. I think obesity and diabetes. I don't know which one's leading, but I mean, they're so intricately tied. It's probably, let's look at that as a one.
Starting point is 02:21:10 And asthma's up there. I'm actually not, I'm way out of my depth here, but those are some of the biggies. Oh, yeah. Asthma for sure. Like any sort of like severe respiratory stuff or immunosuppressed people, all of those things have to be big problems yeah i remember like seeing a kid in like grade school start to have like an asthma attack and i'd never seen that before like the and like taking the thing out of his pocket and using it and it was
Starting point is 02:21:37 like what what the fuck like what happened what did i just witness in the in the wood chips next to the tire swing but yeah you ever you ever have an allergic reaction like a severe one a severe one no i'm lucky i've never had a bad allergic reaction when it's anaphylactic shock um and uh so that's really interesting feeling um my my whole head swelled up from what like? Like a banana. I ate a banana, which apparently I had randomly become allergic to since the last time I ate a banana. And like my whole mouth and throat start getting itchy like I've eaten fiberglass. And then my throat starts swelling shut. My whole face starts swelling up.
Starting point is 02:22:21 And it's like forcing tears out of my tear ducts. My face is swelling up and it's like forcing tears out of my tear ducts my face is swelling so much so tears are pouring down my face like involuntarily without like any effort they're just pouring and like my throat is getting close tighter and tighter to the point where my voice is just barely coming out and it's hard to catch my breath like when up talk hockey and i'm just like i gotta go i like to get in the car i was like 16 i like drive to my dad and i and like i pull up and he's like oh what the fuck and i'm like i'm gonna learn the reaction hospital and he's like you can drive me to the hospital they hit me with the adrenaline shot and they're like no more bananas for you but i love bananas have you tried it since?
Starting point is 02:23:05 Here's what I did. I told, I explained this to someone, um, a couple of days ago, actually I cured my banana allergy by slowly giving myself more and more banana over the course of three years, I would eat one, like a quarter side,
Starting point is 02:23:21 like I'd cut a slice, a tiny slice of banana and just nibble it at first and at first it would just make me real itchy it was just awful it's like oh my mouth is so fucking itchy my tongue would burn and itch my throat would burn and itch we'll trade off for bananas terrible i love bananas and i love bananas too my favorite fruit chop them up in cereal so fucking good in oatmeal so fucking good just by themselves i love bananas chocolate covered banana chocolate covered banana frozen chocolate covered banana is the gayest food in the world to eat and it's one of my favorites fucking great fucking great you just don't want anybody to see you eat it so i did what
Starting point is 02:23:53 those people do with uh uh snake venom or what uh wesley did and princess bride with the iocane powder i've been giving myself small doses over the course of the last 10 years and i built an immunity yeah that's what i did i like increasingly ate more and more over the course of the last 10 years and I built an immunity. That's what I did. I increasingly ate more and more over the course of a few years until I was no longer allergic to bananas. So now I can just eat a whole banana and nothing happens. Man, you really showed nature what's what with that. That's right. I evolved.
Starting point is 02:24:17 And now you can have bananas anytime, anywhere. Anytime I fucking want. Any place. Any price. But I don't eat it like that I tear the pieces off and put them in my mouth you tear the pieces off because it's less gay
Starting point is 02:24:30 that's how a gentleman eats a banana if you're serious about it that's how you eat bananas I hate that really you tear pieces off of your banana just eat a fucking banana just take a bite of it then you don't have to get waxy banana all over your body not on my hand i'm just teasing i bite bananas good god
Starting point is 02:24:55 picture that like just no i also eat my candy bars with a knife and fork. Boy, you eat it with your hands. What do you do? Eat it with your hands. Get a fucking Snickers. Snickers are good. Snickers are fucking great. We're not getting back on candy bar talk.
Starting point is 02:25:20 No, we can't. I almost took us down. You're just talking to a man who's been in the clerk deficit since october serving nutrageous yeah i got um my brother came back from my grandparents yesterday and he spent the night here before he had to drive home and he brought like just what how many ribs are in a rack? It was like nine in a rack. And she brought, he brought four of them. And so my,
Starting point is 02:25:51 cause my grandma, she called me and she was like, now your brother's coming back up there and I'm saying to some ribs with him. Now, how many do you want? You know, I told him to bring three sides of ribs and I was like,
Starting point is 02:25:59 no, that's, that's way too many. And she goes, okay, that's good. I sent him with two and a half. And so it's like 60
Starting point is 02:26:06 ribs and last night like i really knowing that i gave up 2.9 and she like i knew those ribs were there and so yesterday i basically just intermittent fat i had like a banana and a bang energy in the morning and like i knew my brother was coming with the ribs and so i was like a banana and a bang energy in the morning and like i knew my brother was coming with the ribs and so i was like i'm not having a bite of food until these fucking ribs show up and i absolutely i went to town last night on so many ribs hit my protein macros easy still stayed under my calories somehow i guess because my diet yesterday was a banana a bang energy and a rack of ribs a rack and a half of ribs are you tracking everything in chronometer or whatever you use this pal mostly i'll and i usually i'll track like two half or two thirds
Starting point is 02:26:54 of the day and then the rest of it i just kind of do in my head as i'm going like how much more do i need protein okay i can cover that how much do i have more in calories okay so but that also lends itself to like, ooh, little treat. I can fit that in. You can fool yourself. God, I hate not eating whatever I want all the time. It is nice to eat. It's the worst part of being an adult is like being able to go like,
Starting point is 02:27:19 I could go buy fried chicken anytime. Oh, dude. I have the kind of money that could just do damage at a convenience store. Remember before a movie when you were a kid, you'd go to Walgreens or CVS or whatever was close to the movie theater and then you'd buy stuff and give it to your mom and she'd put it
Starting point is 02:27:38 in her purse and it was like one candy and you have no concept of monetary value and then as soon as you get older, you're like all this stuff is free to anyone with like a 20 like then it's all right you know the box that the snickers are in i could get that yeah oh you remember those remember those boxes they would give to you in fucking school to do fundraisers you could get that the one with like 50 fucking full-size snickers in it and you don't have to sell them at all you can just keep them at home and eat them you don't get in trouble that's what i did that's what every time they knew what they were doing when they send a fucking fourth grader home with 30 or 40
Starting point is 02:28:13 fucking full-size snickers or reeses like you're just digging around for quarters and your parents like change jars like ka-ching all right here we fucking go you're in ashtrays and stuff like like everywhere it's like i ate so many candy bars because of that they sent me home with a big box of them if you took it home and hid it from your parents and didn't give them the slip that you were supposed to and said like make sure they sell this then you just got to keep candy in your room my friend that's what we did pretty much like like my mom would like take them to work she'd sell them my dad would like take them around i don't think you're getting what Taylor's saying. He just stole all the candy.
Starting point is 02:28:49 He didn't... They sent Taylor home... No. He would just get a box of candy, tell no one about it, put it under his bed or something. They didn't make a note that they gave Taylor a fucking case of Snickers? They gave it to me, but I did not pass it along.
Starting point is 02:29:06 They gave him a note... No Snickers? They gave it to me, but I did not pass it along. They gave him a note. No, no, no, no, no, no. At the school, the way it worked, for me anyway, is they were like, who wants to be part of the fundraiser? I do. M&M's, Snickers, or Reese's? Snickers. Here's your case.
Starting point is 02:29:21 Kyle, one case of Snickers. Now I owe them either a case of snickers or fifty dollars if i don't come back with a case of snickers or fifty dollars then i'm in trouble i they're gonna put eight-year-old me on collections or something collections for enough candy to get back they're gonna make me fucking clean the bathrooms like ollie the poor kid who can't afford lunch i was so young i don't remember the specifics i just remember that i got into and it wasn't name brand candy your parents had to pay for that candy they probably did but uh i didn't all right you get you can you can have your your cheat meal yeah what is your what is the meal that
Starting point is 02:30:02 you would have if you can have anything you want no matter how awful or unhealthy or ridiculous what is your cheat meal and we got to stick it to like one entree because we can't be like we can't be surf and turf and crab and like we can't we can't go mad with it so it's got to be like one main thing okay if i'm just gonna to go crazy, I would want fried chicken from my grandma's fried chicken, not from a store or from a restaurant. I want my grandma's fried chicken, just piles of it because that's how it's served. And then I want some fresh green onions. Green onions are great. Have you ever had that where you like eat some of your chicken with your hot sauce and chicken
Starting point is 02:30:43 and you take a bite of the green onion with it fantastic brilliant love it and then another thing to have uh like a little bite when you're eating fried chicken is radishes that's good also uh what side would i want some fucking like 10 pieces of texas toast there's no room for really buttery vegetables very buttery actually if we're gonna do vegetables i like uh i'm not eating the crust either i'm folding it in half so i can bite the butter part out and then throwing that so it's just a big window that's what i'm doing that fried chicken and honestly that's it and the little sides the the green onion the maybe some uh some collard greens for a vegetable so i was thinking let me jump in Cause I bet yours will be better. Uh,
Starting point is 02:31:26 my first thought was, Hey, filet mignon, baked potato, Coca-Cola, right? It's a high calorie, but I'm like,
Starting point is 02:31:31 that's not too far. I could squeeze that in any way. You absolutely can. Yeah. If I'm going to have a cheat meal, I remember we did a PKA hangout and, uh, I was at a hotel.
Starting point is 02:31:43 I didn't have a lot of food options. So I ordered from like domino's or something and i ordered everything i felt like like oh they have uh cookies the size of pizzas here i'll take one of those a two liter coke of course i'll have a pizza i'm at domino's and uh oh look uh bread that is pretty much pizza with no sauce. I'll take that. Brownies and cookies, Nada. I don't mind if I do. By the way, you order brownies from Domino's. It's bigger than a human head. It's a lot of food.
Starting point is 02:32:17 And it shows up. That's a lot of carbs. I didn't eat it all. Of course, nobody could eat all that. But that's kind of what I want on my plate right now. That would be nice. I'm pretty close to Taylor. I would really like Zaxby's Chicken Fingers.
Starting point is 02:32:32 They really are fucking... What's their fucking slogan? They're irresistible? Something like that. They're really fucking good. I want those chicken fingers. And I want french fries and mashed potatoes. Ooh.
Starting point is 02:32:46 Doubling on the potatoes. I want the crinkled fries with the seasoning on them, and I want mashed potatoes with gravy, but I want that from KFC. I can do what I want. And I definitely want a lot of that Texas toast, too. That's one of my favorite things. And I would do exactly what I described. I would fold it fold it eat the butter part out and dip the corners in ranch yeah i want to dip the corners of the of the can we dip the corners in more butter
Starting point is 02:33:15 because that sounds good too i want i want ranch i want to dip them in ranch um what are you having to drink i like how woody included a drink i need to think um you know it's gonna have to be either coca-cola because that is uh uh you know i guess i'm a little bit like wings of redemption with this we like the same two beverages it's just that i don't drink them it's uh sweet tea and coca-cola those are the two best beverages that i can imagine right now um maybe like the only beverage that i can remember that was like the best thing that i can imagine right now um maybe like the only beverage that i can remember that was like the best thing ever i was really thirsty one day we were like we were uh we were at this guy's place and it was like 105 fucking degrees sun beating down and i'd been like helping
Starting point is 02:33:59 them like load an atv or something and and like i couldn't go back to get water and uh and they had one of those crushed ice machines that like makes the like the pebbles of ice on the property rights yeah and uh and i was like i'm really thirsty stacy do you guys have anything to drink he's like come with me and he like goes over the crushed ice machine and he like opens it and he reaches into the crushed ice and pulls out a 20 ounce sprite and. And I don't love Sprite, but it was just right on the verge of freezing. It was like 32.5 degrees Sprite. And so it was like thick and sugary.
Starting point is 02:34:32 And I just remember drinking it and it was like drinking sugar syrup and it just being so refreshing. So that, I want that Sprite from that day. That exact Sprite. So I like your drink choices, iced tea and Coca-Cola. The only trouble is I would say those are the best mainstream drinks because when you get into like the IBC black cherry world, you can surpass those.
Starting point is 02:34:55 IBC cream soda was going to be my drink. They only come in 12 ounce bottles. So I would need four. Obviously. You can get. I'll link you the best. Four. You know what?
Starting point is 02:35:07 My IBCs, that would be during my meal and then I'd have a nice big frosty beer afterward. And then I'd go to bed. You can have my beer. Your beer that you didn't get for your dream meal. I might go with this drink instead. This is... Oh is an IBC one oh no IBC makes
Starting point is 02:35:27 is it a real sugar coke or pepsi the Mexican Coca-Cola would be the only Coca-Cola that I would go with but Virgil's this is Virgil's root beer with Bavarian nutmeg alright
Starting point is 02:35:43 $7 soda. They're not $7 if you go to the market in Atlanta, the international market in Decatur or DeKalb or wherever the fuck it is. They're so fucking good. They are expensive. Like, don't think it's going to be $1. Like, they're probably $4 or $5.
Starting point is 02:36:00 The bottle looks like it costs $3. Right? It's one of those cantilever bottles. When you open it, it goes boop. when you open it goes oh this is fancy like like every time i open one i'm like i like smell it like it's a fucking wine or something and it really does smell so good it smells like nutmeg is that if that's called a cantilever opening i think it is yeah uh i i was like this was many years ago now but i was like looking at beer at the store and like you know i didn't know what i wanted and i saw one where it was like four pack or six pack
Starting point is 02:36:30 and they all had those like cantilever and i'm like oh whoa and so i just grabbed that one and they were vile yeah the most disgusting beers i've ever had i think i ended up just handing them out to people but it opened and closed. So cool. Yeah. I liked it a lot. Yeah. We had the same experience one time with beer when we were like 19 or 18 or something like that. We got old Chuck to, uh, go with the liquor store and we just bought all the beers that like, we thought were good. I think we got like, um, um, what's that one in Boston? Um, Sam Adams, we got like sam adams like a bunch of different like sam adams winter lager and shit like that and we got back to like scott's house and we cracked up in these sam adams and it's bitter as a fucking like bad part of a pecan i
Starting point is 02:37:18 look at him to see if like i'm the only one he's just like and i'm like i'm glad we got a 12 pack of bud light too right he's like yeah let's get'm like, I'm glad we got a 12 pack of Bud Light too, right? He's like, yeah, let's get rid of this shit. And we like drank a 12 pack of Bud Light and like, I don't know what happened to that beer.
Starting point is 02:37:31 Someone probably drank it, but it certainly wasn't us. I always regret the, the variety packs with beer or, and I, I, and with the Zevia, I gave in,
Starting point is 02:37:40 I got the variety pack Zevia to expand my horizons. So far, the ginger root beer, very good. I like that. I thought it was going to come with regular root beer. I guess they don't have regular root beer. They just have ginger root beer, but that's good too. But grape was horrible.
Starting point is 02:37:59 Orange, whatever. And all I really learned, oh, the caffeine-free coal is weird. Oh, yeah, I don't even, I tore those away. I drank one of the black cherries last night, and it was pretty good. It was better than I remembered. So I think black cherry, I mean, stack ranking, obviously, cream soda number one, ginger root beer, and then I would say black cherry, third round. I'm with you.
Starting point is 02:38:15 Yeah, I'm with you 100%. And then after that, I like the grape more than you, but I like the orange as well. And the lemon-lime is just so-so so but it's passable it's probably better than great the mountains yeah like the mountain dew ripoff is bizarre i don't like that it's kind of weird it's kind of weird but yeah i like to get that rainbow pack um i had it on it's one of those things that i put on like amazon um like subscribe subscribe and after a while you're like oh we gotta talk i gotta get on there and fix this we got like eight cases of soda here and i'm not even drinking them right now it's like i got so much of that fucking soda
Starting point is 02:38:49 after the show i can't because there's some personal documents over there i don't want people to see but remind me to show you after the show my drink corner i have a lot of scribe to run wild i've got one two three i've got 424 packs of perrier two original two lime i forgot to cancel my limb my zero calorie gatorade a while ago so i've got 48 of those these met rx's i've got hundreds and i canceled that months ago the only thing i'm short on is cream soda zevias oh and i will uh these uh rain energy drinks that are good i'll try to remember to take a picture of my epson salt collection uh later tonight because you gotta subscribe and save and it's just because not only was it so i buy them by the case okay but but not
Starting point is 02:39:37 one case two cases like like like the renewal is two cases at a time and like things got out hand real quick and now like i was showing somebody the other day where I've got a big bathroom over there and I like go in and like, there's a, there's a tiny like linen closet type thing in the bathroom. You open it up and it's really just enough space that a human could like get in that closet. But it's, it's shelves, you know, like, like five rows of shelves. It's just full. It's just full of cases of Epsom salt. salt they're like why do you have so much epsom
Starting point is 02:40:06 so i'm like well i like to take an epsom salt bath every now and then and uh they just got a hand they just got out of hand before i knew it and it's just i there must be eight cases in there something like that and each case is like 15 bags like i don't know how the shelves are supporting it frankly i'm it's impressive you're about to hear a giant crash sort of adamantium fucking shelving in this house that's probably not a great way to spend my money is getting so much of this
Starting point is 02:40:34 delivered to my house but I like these these are so good especially the lime kind have you tried making your own? it's not the same you've tried the soda stream? yeah I had a soda stream and like the the flavors what is it so you literally have the restaurant machines with the coke carbon you know it's like uh you can go to macy's or somewhere and get like a so the co2 and you plug
Starting point is 02:40:58 it in and then it's got a little nozzle and you take a bottle hook it up to that and set it so it's airtight then you pull a little lever and it carbonates it. And as far as making just regular flavorless carbonating water, it's fine. You can even hold it down further to make it more effervescent. But all the flavors they have are disgusting. Like so bad that the diet cold water doesn't vomit. It's like a coffee maker, but it makes carbonated water it's about the cure it's about the size of a keurig machine and it's not mineral water like mineral water tastes better
Starting point is 02:41:32 yeah well there's no minerals in there it's just water it's your water yeah well i gotta turn off all these drink subscriptions because this is outrageous it's taking up a third of this room yeah at first the amazon renewal thing seems really convenient and then like i said you end up with a lot of things i'm sure what else do i have on my renewal i think that might be it that i've that i've it's hard to get the pacing right you know you're like ah subscribe and say this is cool i'll do this and then you're like i don't use as many double a batteries as i thought i did now we have hundreds because i use my amazon card to save five percent and then like the renewal thing it's like you're saving another like five percent it's like oh they're just giving shit away over there at fucking amazon let's do it we do that too it adds
Starting point is 02:42:16 up sometimes you know we spend way too much on amazon same and we had like i don't know real money on the jack he's like i want to get like a massage chair. We could use the Amazon points and this and that. I'm anti-massage chair because we don't have a place for it. I'm like, where do you want the massage chair? She doesn't have an answer for that. She just wants it somewhere. I don't know. So suddenly all that money's gone, but the gym has new rubber flooring.
Starting point is 02:42:47 So that happened. And you giving jackie massages i'll tell you what you might like so so this is what i do we have a massage table kitty and i went in together and just bought a like a like a legitimate pro massage table okay and so we'll hire a masseuse to come over and like you can get a pro masseuse for like cheap like it's it's like a 50 afternoon or something like that really and it's awesome i do a massage chair is like 3 000 i think it would like we would never get our money's worth out of it yeah and and it's nowhere near like as nice of a massage it's stupid having it's i've sat in massage chairs before it sucks you know they just they're awful even the ones at the mall that yes quarters in mm-hmm they're it's it's not a massage it's not even close or even worse like some gyms
Starting point is 02:43:39 have those hydro massage things which is like you lay on top of like a trash bag and then some some fucking immigrant with a pressure washer is like you want shiatsu it's a machine right not a person it's a machine yeah yeah but i am i like his idea that's what it feels like though it's like you it's like you're standing outside without your shirt on you throw a trash bag on your back and fucking pedro hits you with the fucking pressure washer like talk about any any service like yeah some fucking immigrants such malice like he's doing it badly it sort of feels like it's awful it's hydro massage like bullshit i haven't tried that but you can you can hire like a pretty blonde lady to come over and give you a massage and nothing more of course but you can you can hire like a pretty blonde lady to come over and give you a massage and nothing more of course but you know it's and it's cheap it's cheap like we went to the
Starting point is 02:44:31 dominican republic and uh we were there for like 10 days or something like seven eight days in we discovered the massage place let's get a massage let's get a massage like all right you know whatever like i did it it was okay it wasn't that good a massage whatevs one of the guys i'm with was like desperate to get back he really he's like i want to i want this massage guys guys let's go let's go let's go and half of us are like like really like were you that satisfied i think he was i think this guy was very satisfied with his ending and uh and that's why he was like i can't i don't know i have no proof of it just his enthusiasm around this massage i'm wanting to get back there and do it again like i'm pretty sure that guy got jerked off yeah good for him i uh i occasionally pull a muscle on my back and it's so nice to have
Starting point is 02:45:26 someone who knows what they're doing like like yeah it's that much yep there and then to then just have them mercilessly fucking fix it it's fucking great i go to the chiropractor pretty regularly too i've never been to one i know some people think it's a witch doctor and i i think that a lot of them are i like to think that i have the good one but i bet everybody thinks that but i don't know my guy wears a lab coat he's got a diploma on the wall and he gives me an x-ray dude if i were going to pretend to be a doctor i would wear a lab coat and put a diploma on the wall right i have a lab coat you know yeah those are on amazon yeah get them right off amazon diplomas too if we're being being honest. How long do you go to school for chiropractic?
Starting point is 02:46:05 Like a weekend? They offer that at Costco. There's no way it's four years of learning how to pop. If it's four weeks, I'm surprised. If it's longer than cop training, I'll be blown away. It probably is longer than cop. Four years?
Starting point is 02:46:21 Uh-huh. How much do chiropractors make good money um i i usually pay 75 for a session and i go sometimes every week but an hour no not an hour probably 20 minutes of actual work um but it's like when he cracks my neck, oh my God, it's like a sound you've never heard before. I think a lot of people like tense up and, but when he tells me to relax, I literally like completely relax and he fucking twists my head and it's
Starting point is 02:46:57 like, I don't want to do that. He's like, all right, we're going the other way now. And I'm just like completely relaxed. Like if he wants to kill me, he can't.
Starting point is 02:47:05 But I figured it's in his best interest not to. And then he'll like wrap, put this thing around like my like chin, back of the head area, like to get leverage. And I'm like locked into the chair and he'll jerk my head away from my body, like straight out. And it'll pop in like the, my lower skull, like my spine is literally decompressing and I'm getting like a millimeter taller or something. Can I just be in with that? So, so Joe Rogan is talking about this lovely thing that he got on Amazon. And it's, it's kind of like what you talked about. It goes around your neck and you're in the back of your head yeah and it goes on top of a door and you pull it and you kind of like give
Starting point is 02:47:48 yourself traction so me being a genius came up with my own idea i will buy this style i will buy this thing and i will hang it from that pull-up bar behind me i'm going to and my neck is hurt i forget how I hurt it or whatever, but I can't turn it fully. So I buy this traction thing and I have in my head that I will just stretch my spine and then it will come back
Starting point is 02:48:16 and I will be cured. You know, like... You did four years in chiro practice. Not one minute. So I put my plan into action. And, like, first, the mechanism is, like, breaking apart. It's this cheesy, like, it's basically a coat hanger holding this cloth, you know, head cabbage holder thing. And so I find some reinforcements and I rig it up stronger.
Starting point is 02:48:46 and uh so i i find some reinforcements and i rig it up stronger and uh sure enough you know like i'm i'm less like teasing it like third of my body weight half my body weight and then i hang and i relax and i could not turn my head for like two and a half weeks i totally made it worse it was a dumb dumb idea and i blame joe rogan fucking i uh when when he uh when he puts my feet together and like pushes them back like one of my legs will almost always be half an inch to half an inch to three quarters of an inch longer than the other and uh it's like it's like at the hip and uh he'll pull my my whole leg and my hip will pop and it'll sound like not popcorn. It's deeper than that. It's a loud concussive like when he does it. And like,
Starting point is 02:49:30 then he pulls my legs up and shows me, he's like, look at that. And like my, now my legs are the same fucking length again. Like, like my, my,
Starting point is 02:49:36 cause my, my, that's so easy to change though. Yeah. I feel like I could change your body position and just, you know, like rotate your hips left and right a little bit and make them seem longer. Do you remember they used to sell those balance bracelets?
Starting point is 02:49:50 Yeah. It was pretty hot like eight years ago, something like that. Yeah. And they do these tests and like, I don't know, they'd like throw you off balance and then they'd make a subtle, subtle difference. And this time your balance was better because you're wearing the bracelet, but really because he changed the test in a subtle way. I feel like somehow the leg length thing is similar. Like I'm going to hold you. Look at this one foot's higher.
Starting point is 02:50:12 Next time I lift those, I've adjusted your thighs. He shows me the difference in the x-ray though. Like you can see my pelvis will be like a little off center. It be a little rotated one way and when he does it it's like back to normal and i i mean i guess he could be like yeah look at it oh and and then here's after i fixed it like i don't but look all i know is like when i walk out of there even if i'm a strong believer in the placebo effect like if you believe it, when you look at the effects of pharmaceuticals against placebo,
Starting point is 02:50:49 they're like 40% better than placebo in a lot of cases. They're like, yeah, this is the greatest thing since sliced bread. It's 40% better than placebo. It's like, really? That's all? Nothing at all than sugar water? I think the placebo effect is really strong. Even if he's a witch doctor, I think that me believing that he's making me better,
Starting point is 02:51:07 it makes me feel better. And that's all that matters. I tried to Google it, but like I'm on page two and they're all saying that it's legit, but it's like Kansas city chiropractic, Allen chiropractic, Reinhardt chiropractic, West Houston,
Starting point is 02:51:23 chiropractor.com spine SpineUverse.com. There's no independent. I want WebMD or something. I also feel imbalanced when I'm standing. After a couple weeks of not being there, I'm shuffling my weight back and forth, and it doesn't feel right. If I stand straight on one leg, the other can swing. Again, maybe it's in my head. Maybe I'm all wrong about this. like if I stand straight on one leg, the other can swing like, like again, maybe it's in my head.
Starting point is 02:51:46 Maybe I'm all wrong about this, but, and, and, but even if that's the case, then I enjoy the, the, uh,
Starting point is 02:51:51 the placebo effect of him yanking the fuck out of my hip, it popping and then me feeling better. Yeah. I've had, um, I haven't been to a chiropractor, but I have been in a room with a chiropractor who like did little adjustments on people. Yeah.
Starting point is 02:52:07 And like I had never had anything. So he did my neck and it was a level like I can crack my own neck a little bit. Yeah. I thought it would be that, but a little more. No, it was that times 10, that times 50. It was a very and I don't know how to describe how I felt like lighter. Like, did my ears drain? Like, what just, why is my perception of this room different than it was pre-crack?
Starting point is 02:52:34 It's better. Yeah, it's a neat thing to go through. I don't even. They'll do this thing to your spine where they grab the skin that's's like in the middle of your back and they'll pull the skin. And just doing that, it's like, it's like pop. I saw that on,
Starting point is 02:52:50 um, Jujie's channel. They're at a chiropractor come and, and they crack their backs in a couple of ways. But one way he did it, it's just like that. He used the skin like a handle. And so it ain't got him.
Starting point is 02:53:00 Yeah, it's great. He does that. Um, he does this thing where he just like puts his palms in the center of my back, like pretty high up and, and, and presses in with like a lot of force, like suddenly. And it's, it's another one of those things where you got to trust him. He's like, all right, exhale. And I completely exhale and relax. I want him to be able to fucking, you know, go as hard as it can. I'm like, do it as hard as you want. Like, like,
Starting point is 02:53:22 I want the maximum effect out of this i i really like the popping noises it's really like i watch those montages of chiropractors popping people i don't know if you've seen that it's super satisfying like they'll work with like mma fighters and like power lifters people that often have their joints like doing weird shit and their necks and backs crack and pop like nothing you've ever heard it's neat to see tough guys endure it too like like i saw diego sanchez do it and some other i can't remember him but like these are guys that i know as high pain tolerance professional fighters and then they see the chiropractor and they're like babies just getting smashed so yeah videos of chiropractors and this is a scam dude this there is no way this is real
Starting point is 02:54:14 what is it in the video you see that feels scammy well first of all i'm searching chiropractic gone wrong well second of all it's like like some of the stuff they're doing it's just made it's just make believe it's like all right now now take this arm put it here and i'm gonna punch you in the side of the gut and that's that's all that it is i watched one i just saw a video where this one chiropractor grabbed a woman's neck she was on her knees in front of him and he went oh and then she went and was like not non-functional because like you're not supposed to do this i do like i read something like apparently a real doctor said like hey uh so and so artery and this
Starting point is 02:55:00 and that uh you know some of these pops are affiliated with strokes because of the enormous amount of pressure it puts on blah, blah, blah. And it's like, that does seem to be true. Yeah, there was a woman who died. Yeah, I'm sure lots of people died. You see them on the table. They wrap a towel around their jaw, tell them to relax,
Starting point is 02:55:16 and then they just yank on it really hard. And it's like they get taller. But what it gets me is how long it takes them to recover. When you crack your knuckles, you're right back in the game it's nothing when they extend someone's spine they're like doing a systems check like oh my what am i okay do my toes still your brain is like pinging your spine like okay do we have uh all right got ping back all right we're good there all right let's ping the feet yep still working god damn look at you
Starting point is 02:55:49 what the hell just happened to this body it's been right here uh this is uh katie may an act or a model former model may tweeted on january 29 2016 that she had pinched a nerve in her neck on a photo shoot and got adjusted a chiropractor she tweeted on the 31st, 2016 that she had pinched a nerve in her neck on a photo shoot and got adjusted at a chiropractor. She tweeted on the 31st that she was going back to the chiropractor tomorrow. On the evening of February 1st, she said she began feeling numbness in a hand and dizzy, called her parents and tell them she was going to pass out. She went to the hospital. She was found to be suffering a massive stroke. According to her father, May was not conscious.
Starting point is 02:56:22 We finally got to see her the other day. We never got to talk to her father may was not conscious we finally got to see her the other day we never got to talk to her again while i swore with john a coroner's report confirmed that the stroke was the result of the chiropractor's neck adjustment with tore her left uh vertebral artery the coroner's office ruled it an accident so yep yeah well it was an accident taylor get over it yeah i'm familiar with that story look i mean you still go yeah absolutely i still go yeah i'm not i'm not some frail little model. Yeah, I mean, do you have a strong chiropractor? He might rip your head clean off with that towel.
Starting point is 02:56:52 They're curiously strong, though, right? He's not like a hoss or anything. Masseuse's shot. A female masseuse. Like, what? Who gave you man hands? Like, you're strong like a Russian farmer. He's fucking been working those things out for years i was at a strip club and they had they for like maybe 10 or 15 dollars for 10 minutes you
Starting point is 02:57:13 could there was a masseuse and she was not dressed like sluttily she was wearing like evening wear like like like like a like an evening dress yeah and uh i think she was russian i'm almost positive she was and i was like yeah absolutely like like and she's just like, she's like, how hard do you want it on a scale from one to 10? And I was like, probably like a seven, eight, nine, something like that. Because like, she wasn't a tiny woman, but it's a woman. And she goes, and I'm just like, one, a one, a one. Can I go home? I'll still pay you.
Starting point is 02:57:45 She was so strong. I think her hands were stronger than mine. If we were doing that game like you did in school, like Mercy, where you beat each other, I think she beats me. I feel like Taylor was undefeated in that at 13 years old. Well, he'd throw in a headbutt if things got out of hand. You know what is funny?
Starting point is 02:58:03 Grade school-wise, obviously other kids got bigger than me and stronger than me in high school and middle school but like grade school wise no one beat me in arm wrestling ever it was that was my my champion thing arm wrestling and yeah p-knuckle doing that and like getting the other person to to bend down is that what peanut is that called p-chle that's what we call that that's new to me okay we call it mercy where you bend your hands back and forth or you are or no not pinochle that's a different game uncle speaking of feats of strength um we're we did our hangout um this past weekend had a had a great time four sessions we talked about that pk info but uh dirty um we were looking at one of the houses we were looking at had like um i'm gonna get the name wrong it's like bop them sock them
Starting point is 02:58:50 sock and bop them uh yeah sock and boppers yeah so yeah like the they're gigantic oversized boxing gloves and uh and uh that got brought up and he's like yeah you know like maybe we we could we could have a little little boxy match with those. And I was like, I don't want to wear the gloves though. For some reason, Dirty agreed to let me punch him in the stomach with my fist. I don't know. He's not going to let you do that. And you shouldn't, even if it's offered. He agreed.
Starting point is 02:59:19 He agreed. And so when we meet, I'm going to punch D stomach with my fist don't even say don't even say hi i'll let him prepare and everything but i'm gonna lift that little cocksucker off the ground yeah you have to drive him to the hospital and the whole evening and then you won't be there to peer pressure people into poker and I'll have the run with magic. I'll get everybody. He's underestimating your strength. That's what's happening. He might be. I think he may have made
Starting point is 02:59:52 an error. I certainly don't know how to box, but I know how to throw a punch. That MMA class, we do those drills all the time. Rotate your hips. How to really snap a punch in there I'm gonna put in a request don't
Starting point is 03:00:10 hit me I don't want to be hit but dirty wants to once once one so I don't know what he's thinking but but but you know he's a tough guy uh you know dirty's a dirty's a real man's man so i think that this is the dirty from the patreon yeah yeah burly fella you know about but we're thinking of different guys six oh no he uh he kept fish he uh he kept fit yeah he kept fish yeah this poor guy this poor guy um he bought some fish like like some clown fish and some other stuff like like 100 150 dollars worth of fish salt water tank like yeah salt water tank he liked them cute fish and his girlfriend came in and killed them all by like adding some like coral reef cleaner that wasn't even required and he's like he's like scared of her he's like
Starting point is 03:01:05 this bitch killed my fucking fish she killed my fucking fish she's in the other room of course she killed my fucking fish i'm worried i'm next i'm gonna get some more fish but i'm a little worried i think i found a bunch of found a bunch of reef cleaner in my coffee this morning. Yeah, he came back. He's like, Woody, I found it. I'm going to get a Moorish idol. You know, this is like the Mount Everest of fish keeping. This is the hardest fish to keep.
Starting point is 03:01:37 When I kept them, they were just being kept successfully for the first time in human history. It's not the one to start with. So they really don't want to be there no i i don't know i guess they're just really sensitive the fish that have long flowy things are extra susceptible to like bacterial and parasitic infections as a rule of thumb i'll show people what i mean and i would just get the simplest ones that are still colorful whatever the easiest one yeah i think i would just get like clownfish or or just goldfish and betas like like stuff that you can go and buy super cheap and if things don't you know but
Starting point is 03:02:15 learn to do this like like and then slowly progress up to like this pro level of having a fancy i looked up that fish that what he was talking about and it's a real fancy fish apparently like like all the articles are like the most difficult fish in the world to keep only the reef keepers reef keepers oh that guy waterman the reef keepers reef keeper kid he has two of them that's right two at once it's incredible feat never never performed by a let me show you this is what a moorish idol looks like no relation uh and you can see it's quite nice fucking beautiful this is what it looks like when a shitty reef keeper tries to keep it. Dead.
Starting point is 03:03:08 I don't want to see sad fish. Oh. He's frowning. Hey, I like this one sad. You probably like this one. This is like, I don't know what that flowy dorsal fin thing is called. I can hear Sarah Block. In the arms of the end.
Starting point is 03:03:24 But it's like rotted off. Look at his tail fin. It's gone. It's all eaten away. This is like one of those you versus the guy she tells you not to worry about. This is what they're supposed to be and this is what they are. Oh, that guy.
Starting point is 03:03:40 He's out in the ocean swimming all colorful. This guy's a little matted and shitty looking. Same kind of fish as Scar or whatever his name is from Finding Nemo. Is that right? I wouldn't do that. Yeah, that's why he's doing that. He watched Finding Nemo and he's buying the fish from Finding Nemo.
Starting point is 03:03:56 He should stick with clownfish then for a while. He should probably downgrade to a pet rock or something. Because he killed clownfish, which from my understanding are one of the more easy fish to keep. Yep. I would want predatory fish. Like, I think we've talked about this before,
Starting point is 03:04:14 but I think what he told me that it's a bad idea. Like he maybe once thought the same, that a piranha would be cool. But in reality, they're just like kind of boring and they don't do, you know, it ain't a movie piranha. And if your dad leaves them in your garage in the winter piranhas don't swim very much they tend to be super still so they're not super interesting unless you like feeding them
Starting point is 03:04:35 and watching them eat that i think would be the draw the same way that like keeping a snake i think the cool part is when you eventually feed it um But God damn, like, like that's one thing. Like I, I don't want to keep fish. Like if there were an aquarium in my house filled with beautiful fish, I would click that box, but I don't want to, you know, go through all that. I don't want to learn a new, it's essentially like a, a hobby, a skill that you're, you're, you're taking on, you know, it's essentially like a a hobby a skill that you're you're taking on you know it's rather it's rather expensive and it seems like one of those things where you start small and then like
Starting point is 03:05:11 now you've got a i don't know you start with a 25 gallon tank and now you got a 70 gallon tank and oh well i got a 500 gallon tank now it's a wall mount and it does this and that and i got a smaller tank underneath it for filtration purposes and oh yeah well when i go on vacation i have to call the oceanography society and have fucking jacques custeau waterman come over just because my fish are so rare and special you're right about all of that and one thing you didn't mention was the upgrade cycle is very expensive like you get that 25 gallon tank right now you go to a 40 or 70 or something the heater the filter the all of that stuff is garbage now that filter you had on your 24 gallon
Starting point is 03:05:51 tank that doesn't do a 70 the um water pump that keeps everything circulating and moving that's no good the lights are not the right size and brightness for your new deeper tank like everything you bought is garbage when you go to your next one. And then that repeats itself a couple of times. Yeah. Yeah, it just seems like a hobby that's difficult. I really like the old adage of like, you'll correct me here.
Starting point is 03:06:15 It's like, buy it nice or buy it twice. I think that's it. That works. Buy once, cry once, I've heard too. Sure, yeah. I like that adage and I've often tried to apply that to many of my purchases. I like if i i did that with my gaming pc i do that with my most of my
Starting point is 03:06:29 electronics um you know things things that you use a lot like mattresses i never skimp on pillows i always get very expensive when sheets i always just really overspend like if i if i'm gonna be using something a lot and i'm i don't want to be disappointed with it, like kitchen stuff. Like when I went to buy a mixer, it's like, there's no way I'm not getting the fucking KitchenAid mixer. I'm not getting some Chinese knockoff.
Starting point is 03:06:52 Like when I get a blender, we've got to get a fucking Ninja blender or Greg Doucette's going to laugh at me. Like, just go ahead and like buy it nice or buy it. Those things, I've been cooking a little bit lately,
Starting point is 03:07:03 making my own, what would you call i don't know like low calorie high protein snacks and stuff so that i can yeah i have a kitchenaid mixer and a ninja blender and they're good they do the job like i do the job they they work every single time they're very powerful so if you need to like be crushing ice or it really needs to be a homogenous mixture, you've nailed it every single fucking time that you're not, you're never going to scrape. You're never going to have to have like yogurt at the top. It never got mixed in or powders or whatever.
Starting point is 03:07:32 It just fucking work. Kitchen aid mixer, like just moving the speed selection switch feels like heavy. Like it's a shifting gears. It's like a lawnmower type situation, like shifting. It's great. It's great. I love the KitchenAid mixer. Like I don't use it as much as I once did. I don't really like, but for like making batter or anything that's like complicated, like I use it and I've used mine. I have all the stuff, but I've only done it like once or twice, but I have the meat grinding
Starting point is 03:08:02 attachment. So you can make your own hamburger meat, which is the best hamburger you'll ever eat because you can choose like prime cuts of ground chuck. And, and like, you slice them into these like manageable slices, and then you freeze them for 30 minutes to like stiffen them up. And then you just sort of look lower them into the grinder, and then it's just spitting out this perfect hamburger meat that you can like keep in a lower them into the grinder and then it's just spitting out this perfect hamburger meat that you can like keep in a in a container i have a dream this summer right so um especially in the summertime when i finish working out in the gym i'm very hot and kind of like wiped out energy wise i tip in the pool and click back on i've done this lots of times um i want ice cream delivered to the pool but you know like a a Greg Doucette ice cream.
Starting point is 03:08:45 He did a video where he showed 200 calories of different foods. And he has a really high-pitched voice. And he's like, you know, this is great ice cream. This is my ice cream. Does it taste as good? No. But you could have six times more. And I'm like, you know what?
Starting point is 03:09:00 I'm down for that tradeoff. I want to try his ice cream. And I want to be waist-deep in the pool eating want to try his ice cream and i want to i want to be waist deep in the pool eating low calorie ice cream that's that's my trip so there's a few like um lower calorie protein ice creams um the most popular one is halo top um yeah halo top's pretty good halo top is pretty fucking good and uh it's got like off the top of my head it's got like let's say 24 grams of protein for like 375 calories which is way more than like a protein shake right but you're eating a fucking pint of ice cream so it's like it's like a pint is a lot
Starting point is 03:09:38 yeah that's if you eat the whole pint um there's also um i'm looking right now because i want to say there's another one that's like the superior one like the best one greg's is like a salad bowl full of ice cream for 200 calories if we're being honest it's not ice cream though you might know more about this than me i haven't tried it um oh you've never had that oh right so it's not ice cream it's just ice and strawberries mixed up pretending to be ice cream. It's that's bullshit. That's what it doesn't have. Like,
Starting point is 03:10:09 like the thing about ice cream is the, is the cream fat that's in there. You can never duplicate that creaminess that you're getting. That's the pleasurable part of ice cream that, and it's usually sweet with like, and it's the consistency to like, like how hard ice cream gets. And that stuff that greg makes is
Starting point is 03:10:26 like thin and like almost watery no matter why you can have a salad bowl full of it right because it absolutely is you can i'd rather have the halo top kind that actually feels you know texture wise like it's ice cream like you can tell eating it like the best flavor of it i think is like salted sea salt caramel uh with like in the vanilla and like you you know eating it like the best flavor of it i think is like salted sea salt caramel uh with like in the vanilla and like you you know going in like this is not fucking ice cream but like it tastes like frozen protein powder because that's pretty much what it is with extra sugar and it's it's pretty good like if you're comparing that and especially you what do you haven't been eating sweets anyway this is gonna taste super sweet to you and like if you just get the vanilla kind it's like 180 calories for a pint of it it's ridiculous like 200 calories from the whole
Starting point is 03:11:10 fucking pint it's like 20 grams of protein i just yeah i i don't know that there's this particular summer thing i want to live through where it's like 90 out and i'm waist deep in the pool and i'm having ice cream and uh we'll we'll have to make that happen so there's uh an ice cream called huey hay which is as you might imagine why i guess yeah made with um whey protein and i'm only seeing three different uh flavors there's chocolate vanilla and ice cream ice cream is the flavor um i'm using I'm looking on MyFitnessPal to see what the calories are. The website has salted caramel. That's a very good flavor.
Starting point is 03:11:53 And candies and an ice cream, such a good combo. It looks like a tub is only 177 calories with 22 grams of protein, which is like 70% more than a scoop of protein powder as far as the calories go it's like you know a scoop of protein powder is like 100 calories 20 to 25 grams of protein and this is 177 calories with 22 grams of protein um i don't know i've never had it before i was just looking at like protein ice creams i guess they sell um protein bars is that what they're called whatever candy bars on their website it doesn't look like you can buy ice cream from them i guess they don't
Starting point is 03:12:30 have refrigerated trucks what are the macros on the uh on the protein bars because like there's so many of them that are just candy bars in disguise like like it should have 20 to 22 grams of protein for 200 or less calories yeah like i know like is the uh it's just the kirkland brand the costco brand it's like 180 calories 21 22 grams of protein i think and it's an enormous amount of fiber too which is good because if you're eating a really high protein diet often you don't get enough fiber let me see and they taste good too the the chocolate kind is kind of ass and it comes in a cookie dough chocolate combo pack. That's all they sell it in.
Starting point is 03:13:06 And so I always eat all of the cookie dough, and then I'm sad that I just have the chocolate left. Yeah, so just the – I think the brand is Pure Protein, and these are – is that what you're talking about? No, no, no. But I've had Pure Protein before. Yeah, they're – you can see the macros on that are ridiculous it's 21 grams of protein and 180 calories like it's yeah for chocolate deluxe i those are okay
Starting point is 03:13:31 i don't think they taste as good as the um the costco ones because i used to buy these instead yeah and the costco ones are way fucking cheaper i've had the dark chocolate of the uh of the ones i just linked there and they taste like dark chocolate. They're really fucking good. Yeah. Other flavors, when you link, this is the best chocolate deluxe. 10 grams of protein, 165 calories. So that wouldn't fit your...
Starting point is 03:13:57 Yeah, for bars. Yeah, that's pretty terrible for a bar. I think Greg Doucette's bars are the ones you make that recipe are the way to go. The score bars? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. As far as like, I, it looks, it's a little bit complicated. You got to order that, um, that fiber liquid shit off of Amazon, but, um, Like Metamucil?
Starting point is 03:14:23 No, there's this ingredient. Um um i'm not gonna remember it right psyllium husk it's no it's a liquid it's like i'll find it yeah a lot of the um you're like oh i want to get this and they're like well do you have any anabolic brownie powder on hand like no i get it okay brownie powder on hand like no okay man I'm so hungry I have 900 calories left today I did the same thing again where I barely eaten anything today because there's more ribs in the fridge i've saved up i'll probably just have chicken bread so the stuff that goes in there is called fiber yum it's a prebiotic fiber sweetener syrup um and it's adding like all the a ton of fiber and all the sweetness
Starting point is 03:15:18 and it's like the consistency of it's thick it's like honey or something like that and that's like the main ingredient that he's adding to protein powder and a couple other things to like make his protein bars and then he sprinkles them with actual candy so they taste a little bit better it's like crushed score bits by taking out my high calorie snacks which is trail mix and then substituting things i ate before for like low Cal versions of it, you know, like remove the butter entirely, you know, swap out whatever. I don't know. Oh, swap out cream in my coffee for almond cream. And now my coffees are 10 calories, right? And used to be 70 and you have a couple of coffees and that makes a difference. Um,
Starting point is 03:16:05 right it used to be 70 and you have a couple coffees and that makes a difference um that's like 80 of what i did just lowered my caloric intake and now i'm at a deficit yeah that's the easiest way to do it yeah finding like healthy uh alternatives to the things that you you crave yeah and they're not. And they're not as good. They're not as good. But if they're 80% as good and you get abs, it's like, well, that's the deal I'm trying to make. Yeah, that's what you got to find. You got to find that 80% is good,
Starting point is 03:16:34 but way less calories. A tenth the calories, 80% is tasty. It's like, do you like fried chicken? All right, well, this isn't going to be fried chicken. But this is chicken like dusted with bread crumbs in an air fryer. It's close. It's 80% as good.
Starting point is 03:16:50 As close as you can get without fucking up your midsection. Yeah. That's a really good example. Yeah. Yeah. The same is true with like most of those air fryer recipes. Like that guy that you linked the other day with that little grilled chicken wrap. Yeah.
Starting point is 03:17:04 I have those a lot. He's got tons of recipes. He's a really good video maker. I don't know what he did before this, but he's a really handsome guy too. He looks perfect on camera. But he's always making videos like 50-calorie donuts and shit like that. He's making donuts in the air fryer. But then I notice he puts frosting on them and takes them and dips donuts in the air fryer but then i notice he like puts frosting on them
Starting point is 03:17:25 and like takes them and like dips them in like or crushed oreos and it's like well i don't think the i don't think you factored the crushed oreos into the the 50 calorie part yeah i'm showing people his videos there's no sound but this um lavish chicken wrap thing i have this this is like one of the staples in my diet and It's pretty good. Pickles are not a lot of calories, but there's a pretty big taste in them. So they're neat. J.D. J.D. J.D. J.D. J.D. J.D. J.D. J.D. J.D. J.D. J.D. J.D. J.D. J.D. J.D. J.D. J.D. J.D. J.D. J.D. J.D. J.D. J.D. J.D. J.D. J.D. J.D. J.D. J.D. J.D. J.D. J.D. J.D. J.D. J.D. J.D. J.D. J.D. J.D. J.D. J.D. J.D. J.D. J.D. J.D. J.D. J.D. J.D. J.D. J.D. J.D. J.D. J.D. J.D. J.D. J.D. J.D. J.D. J.D. J.D. J.D. J.D. J.D. J.D. J.D. J.D. J.D. J.D. J.D. J.D. J.D. J.D. J.D. J.D. J.D. J.D. J.D. J.D. J.D. J.D. J.D. J.D. J.D. J.D. J.D. J.D. J.D. J.D. J.D. J.D. J.D. J.D. J. in banana peppers and sliced cucumber and shredded carrots and stuff. And all of a sudden you're eating half a pound of roughage. You know what's funny?
Starting point is 03:18:18 I was on Twitter looking for something, anything funny. And trending right now is Lola Bunny. Because apparently they released a new picture of her and people are talking about wanting to fuck Lola Bunny again. From the new LeBron James version. You were right. Every now and then I see some chick doing cosplay of Lola Bunny on
Starting point is 03:18:38 Reddit. Always very hot. They got rid of Lola Bunny's tits. She doesn't have tits anymore. You have to go gay for a previous PKA guest. Who do you pick? Probably Tucker. He seems hairless.
Starting point is 03:18:55 Very twinkie. Tucker's a cutie. Yeah. You know, I'd love to walk into a nice restaurant with that cutie on my arm. If you had to describe him with one word, taught. I would say nubile. Kyle, who do you got? That's difficult because like, clearly I can't remember like who we've had on the show
Starting point is 03:19:23 because I had no fucking idea that Doug Polk had been on the show before. And I watch his videos daily. You forgot we talked to him for four hours? I'm kind of a fan of Doug Polk. And we were brainstorming a few hours before the show today about potential guests in the coming weeks and months and such. And I was like, ah, Doug Polk. Um, it'd be kind of cool to talk to that guy. Cause you know, we had to grind you on before and they played this heads up match.
Starting point is 03:19:51 Polk took like three quarters of a million off of them or something crazy like that. Be interesting to talk to him about that. And, and then apparently we have spoken to him before and I have no, when was it? What year was that? was that uh god don't tell me it was like last year doug poke pka because then i can't blame drugs let's see i don't think it was that recent wait episode 408 that can't be right no oh wait we're in the 500s that's not that okay i was sober i was so i don't know i don't know because like the like like the first like you weren't that experienced at being sober though the first 350 episodes of this show i do not remember because
Starting point is 03:20:38 like i would be stoned as fuck through the whole podcast you might be thinking like oh maybe kyle's got a kidney infection he keeps getting up every 30 minutes you know like no kyle's walking to the very next room and hitting his dab rig so what are we talking about now kyle's dodging the go gay for a guest question oh i'm not dodging it i'm i'm trying to remember who's been on the show fucking lineup um like i'm trying to remember more than two guests. You are breaking Milo's heart right now. All right, what do you go? I'm going to look up your channel and tell Kyle who we've had on the show.
Starting point is 03:21:13 Yeah, give me a list of our guests because I can't. I thought you might pick Milo Yiannopoulos. Yiannopoulos? I don't remember. There's Filthy, there's Harley, Danny Mullen, another cutie. Blame Truth, Slush Puppy. Blame Danny Mullen, another cutie, Blame Truth, Slush Puppy. Blame Truth. You think Blame Truth?
Starting point is 03:21:31 Blame Truth is Destiny, Drifter. To me, I think Blame Truth might be our most handsome guest that I can remember. He is looking real nice. I'm going the other way. If I'm going gay, I'm going gay. Damn drops. A very masculine guy?
Starting point is 03:21:50 Dude, I'm not going a little gay. You're gay at being gay. You're going very. You're going whole hog. Literally and figuratively. I disagree with that take. I am sticking solidly with my pick of Tucker. I'm really happy with my Blaine Truth pick.
Starting point is 03:22:07 I think we'd make a handsome couple. That's a good looking man. Yeah. He's a little shorter than me. I think he's honestly a good bit shorter than me. Handsome guy in shape. Be a good fit. You make a postcard.
Starting point is 03:22:23 What am I? A Hallmark card. Oh, yeah. Every year, all sorts of Christmas? A Hallmark card. Oh, yeah. Every year. All sorts of Christmas cards and shit. Yeah. Oh, great stuff. Yeah.
Starting point is 03:22:31 Do some little COD4 thing one year. You know? A little COD4 cosplay. He could be Captain Price and I could be Captain Price's boyfriend. It'd be great. You'll never know that I was a ghost. Yeah. So don't shame my family.
Starting point is 03:22:52 Yeah. I think we all had good answers there. I just have no memory of like so much. For one thing, I think I kind of, I'm kind of in the moment when we're recording this. I honestly don't remember what we did last week. I don't remember.
Starting point is 03:23:07 Did we have a guest last week? I don't know. I don't. Well, that's why I had to start a while ago writing down what we talk about throughout the show. Because we'd finish and be like, all right, titles. It's like, well, what we did, I guess, you know, gay Hitler or whatever the hell it was. I vaguely remember Filthy being on the show like a few weeks ago I remember the caveman
Starting point is 03:23:28 nonsense that we got in that like fucking circle talk it was like three weeks ago yeah but like I have no idea what we talked about last episode like none at all like I'm a little foggy on what we talked about Tuesday
Starting point is 03:23:42 so different topic yeah yeah i've got two i this popped into my head because when woody craft was shutting down i was like what should i do next what would be my next business and i was going to make an alamo movie theater like there's none right here i really like like the concept. Dodge that bullet. Yeah. They're declaring bankruptcy right now. Like that would be everywhere. You know, swoop in.
Starting point is 03:24:14 We're having a lot of private parties. Hey, you want to come over and watch a movie with me? $4,000 will get you in. All the popcorn you can eat. Yeah. Bring your friends. We're 420 friendly i don't care i just it's like fucking eight thousand dollar a month mortgage owning a movie theater
Starting point is 03:24:32 would be a really neat business and you know i would love it and do well sustainable and i had this idea that like um a lot of movie theaters especially my area aren't doing it great you know if you have good seats around here you you're kind of top-notch. This is like the whole movie restaurant. Go high-end and charge whatever, $17 instead of $12. So anyway, that was a terrible idea. If you had to start a business right now, what would it be? I always sort of default back to that air conditioning repair thing
Starting point is 03:25:03 just based on my experiences with those guys. And just it's one of those things where like you have it and people will pay whatever you want for it. You know, like, man, if it's the winter or the summer and you need that guy and he tells you it's going to be a $300 service call, you're like, yeah, man, just fucking get out here. Like, all right well the compressor is 800 fuck fucking hook it up i'm hot do you have ac yeah so um i actually got it over the winter the day before yesterday i got it fixed um because it was starting to warm up again and so um i finally called my uh called my rental company or whatever and I was like hey, my air conditioning's out. And they're like, okay
Starting point is 03:25:52 have you tried? And I'm like, I don't want to troubleshoot. My air conditioning is broken. I've had a professional look at it. He says I need a whole new unit. No amount of flipping switches or toggling knobs is going to fix this. He's like, oh so you flipped a switch? I'm like, no, no. I'm telling you, I want a repairman, and I'm not going to jump through hoops to do it. He's like, all right, well, I'll put the case in now.
Starting point is 03:26:16 Is there anything else? Yeah, my dishwasher's also broken. All right. That sucks. Put you on the list for that, too. Dishwasher repairman shows up. He he's lithuanian i immediately recognize his accent i'm like are you lithuania it's like yeah yeah lithuania i'm like cool man i used to know a couple couple guys from lithuania and we had a little talk about that when i tell you that i troubleshot this dishwasher many many times i'm
Starting point is 03:26:43 not exaggerating i pushed all the buttons. No water would come out. I did everything. I checked everything that a reasonably mechanically minded individual might do. I made sure water was getting to it under the sink. I did all these things. I lifted the trap, make sure it wasn't clogged. I did all sorts of things.
Starting point is 03:26:58 You turned it off from the back. He comes in and pushes one fucking button and it fucking runs. And I'm just like, all right, you got the hands of God or something like that, but it's fixed. I'm like, hey, you get paid for your service call, I guess, and you're in and out of here in 10 minutes. So that was fixed. And then the air conditioning repairman came and he worked for the rental company.
Starting point is 03:27:16 He goes, ah, yeah, you were right. You need a whole new unit. We're going to put in the bid to the local contractor. He'll be here tomorrow. He shows up and he's my favorite kind of like dude. He's like the dude who's like a professional at what he does. And he's fully aware that most of the people who do his job are fucking idiots.
Starting point is 03:27:36 He goes out there and he's like, somebody been tinkering with it. I'm like, yeah, two different people have looked at it already. It's like, yeah, I can tell,
Starting point is 03:27:44 you know what the fuck they were doing did they I have no idea man I don't know anything about air conditioning repair I know you can if you name that's why I called you that's why you're here he's like well your air conditioner is fixed first of all you don't need a whole new unit
Starting point is 03:27:59 all right it's just like you had a discombobulated booba guy and I'm like ah one of those a classic he's like also went up in your attic you're leaking cold air everywhere i patched all that up too you're good to go and he's like he's in and out in 15 minutes and fixes they thought i needed a new like fifteen thousand dollar. And this dude shows up and fixes that. I don't have to pay for it, but I'm assuming he fixed the problem for less than,
Starting point is 03:28:28 you know, a service call plus $150 or something like that. So yeah, it's 65 degrees in here right now. Chili as fuck. Just the way I like it. If you don't wear a shirt, you shiver.
Starting point is 03:28:39 Like when I get under that fucking covers at night, I need them. It's perfect. Cause I have night sweats. If I don't keep it super cold. Oh, oh i have my my night terrors and i'll wake up in the middle of the night drenched and have to literally go take a shower before i can get back to bed changing sheets and shit so i keep it cold as fuck i need it really cold when i'm sleeping too because even i always need the blanket on me even if it's hot at least some of the blanket on me and so like if it's hot in there
Starting point is 03:29:03 i need the blanket on me and i'll wake up just like steaming, like a hockey player taking their helmet off. Just like, I, I could go and run for an hour and not get nearly as sweaty as what I, as the way I wake up sometimes just like, like when I go to take my shirt off, like just reaching down and pulling it up.
Starting point is 03:29:27 Doesn't do the trick. You got to do like the cross your arms over and grab it at your, at your opposite hips with your arms, like across and like, like peel it off. And like could literally ring a little bit out if you wanted to. Like it's, it's like when you drop it on the floor,
Starting point is 03:29:44 it just goes, it makes a noise when I drop my shirt on the floor it's so wet like i have to change my underwear and i'm just like i can't just towel off after after this it'd be like going to bed after a run i gotta i'll jump in the shower and like rinse off and go back to bed i have to change the sheets and shit like like that happens maybe once a week yeah that that's unpleasant so it needs to be like 65 or so to sleep like i thought you're going to talk about like that waking up with like dry mouth kind of feeling and uh yeah that but i and i don't get that very often unless i'm dehydrated obviously but this past saturday i went to uh this was a friend of mine's 30th birthday so we went to a winery. I'd never been to a winery, and I'm not a big wine drinker,
Starting point is 03:30:27 but I got good and wine drunk on Saturday. I woke up the next morning just with the – I could have licked something, and it would be dry as a bone. I could feel my tongue. This is wrong. But yeah, that was horrible i think i'm gonna you know well i also i didn't drink that wine uh classily after the first couple glasses it became a bit of a you know fun time fun times though i liked the beginning part
Starting point is 03:31:00 of the winery pretending like oh oh yes i can taste i can taste that yeah yeah i feel like kyle should get one of those um bed cooling systems have you seen that yeah man no no so i'm looking at it now there's like the one on my screen is 2 000,000, but I've seen them for $150. The $150 ones look like you're sleeping on a baby's pee-proof mattress, right? Like it's crinkly and everything to my eye. The $2,000 one kind of looks like a waterbed, but there's like a, I'll call it a CPAP machine just pushing conditioned air underneath you. I stayed at an Airbnb once that had one of those and it was heavenly it was so fucking nice and i think it's what you're describing like a two thousand dollar unit you know going back to my buy it nice and how i like the things that i
Starting point is 03:32:00 use a lot it does fit both of those parameters so maybe i'd say if we have a good night at poker uh after the show i might actually pull the trigger on that yeah yeah this could be life-changing well life-changing sounds so dramatic but like it could make a substantial improvement to your quality of life yeah but the thing is, I think maybe the reason I'm sweating has more to do with like something like chemical. It almost doesn't matter what the reason is, right? Look, I don't care if you're down in tamales all night long and now you're sweating. This will combat that. I don't know if it will, though.
Starting point is 03:32:44 I think it's just like my it like something i put you outside in the snow it would right like maybe i'm telling you like it'll be like it was so cold in here one night like i i let i leave i had that window like open um like like like cracked and it was 30 degrees outside. So like the inside of the bedroom certainly wasn't 30. But it was because I had the heater set to come on at 60. But so it was probably 60 degrees in here. And I woke up just drenched in fucking sweat.
Starting point is 03:33:19 It happens about once every 10 days. And I think it's night terror related. I think it's something like that. Because it's usually, I usually remember having just a terrifying dream. So I saw some YouTubers review this thing that made it seem like it was the greatest thing on earth. But I don't know if I trust them, right?
Starting point is 03:33:41 Are they paid? Like, is there affiliate codes? Like, you know, what's up with that? So, but it, I don't know if i trust them right are they paid like is there affiliate codes like you know what's up with that so but it i don't know look pretty neat look like it was worth checking out i was thinking about it for me too let's see maybe i know buy it nice or buy it twice that's often really smart it might not be dumb to dip your toe in the water for $150 just to see if you like a shitty version of it.
Starting point is 03:34:10 So you guys want to tweet at 8sleep, E-I-G-H-T-S-L-E-E-P Let them know that we'd love to experiment with their product here on the show and get some kind of sponsorship deal going. 8sleep. At 8sleep. At 8sleep.
Starting point is 03:34:25 That'd be cool. Don't say anything about the RSK though. I'm sure they won't now. Just get us some cooling mattresses so that... My man's waking up and drenched with sweat everybody. Yeah. Yeah. Have a heart. Kyle,
Starting point is 03:34:41 are you caught up with WandaVision? Tell you what man, I have not gone back to WandaVision tell you what man I have not gone back to WandaVision after that decent episode I don't know what it is I lost all interest in the show I've seen that Reddit is loving it eating it up and
Starting point is 03:34:57 I figure like eventually I'll be really hankering for something to watch and there it'll be 8-10 episodes like in a row ready to binge watch which is my preferred way but i've i've caught a i caught one spoiler um about who one character is um very cool you can say the character well maybe you don't want to okay i think i know what it is i'm quite it write the first letter of the person who someone actually is no um so there's another one it's a major marvel character and i'm oh
Starting point is 03:35:35 i like it i like how we're being careful with these spoilers. No. Not that one. It's one of the characters in the show is actually a man from the Marvel universe. I don't know if the sex has been changed. It's irrelevant. What I'm getting at is that like I've only caught one little bitty spoiler and it wasn't, it doesn't ruin anything for me. So it's there waiting on me.
Starting point is 03:36:02 I believe in it. I bet it's entertaining i'm gonna go back to it but i just don't have any interest right now i'm really into snowpiercer that's the only like debuting show that i'm eating up like uh episodes seem to be available to me on tuesdays i don't know when they air but uh every tuesday i'm like oh it's time to go again let's see what sean bean is up to what kind of evil fuckery he's going to be trying to do. And, uh, so that's all I'm at mostly right now. I'm, um, just taking in a lot of poker stuff.
Starting point is 03:36:34 I've been reading a lot of game theory and, uh, reading up on, uh, exploitative play, um, listening to like two different audio books, like pretty continuously, um, on poker and on game theory respectively and uh and watching lots hours and hours of poker on on youtube and uh and then playing poker that's kind of my main thing right now someone was like hey you want to play valheim we're gonna get a pka group together like can you play poker in valheim no no it's you know it's the it's the
Starting point is 03:37:05 game where we do yeah then i don't want to do it no i want to play valheim i have been watching wandavision i'm enjoying it i won't spoil it but one of the things i'm excited about is i'm pretty sure there's like not even a dropped week it goes wandavision directly into falcon and winter soldier and i think the i think i don't know this to be a fact but they even like lead into each other like episodically like like one hands off to the next smart in show and then it goes from falcon and wicked wicked winter soldier to black widow and then it goes from black widow to lo Loki. And it just hands off all through something. We're cool until July or something in this.
Starting point is 03:37:49 That's genius. Yeah. That's a really smart way to do it if that's the case. If by the end... See, Netflix wasn't that slick when they tried to do Daredevil and Punisher and all that stuff. They were like, oh, Daredevil's a smash hit. Do we dare try Punisher and punish was okay it's like ah now everything else now everything else and they're all friends and it's like well god damn set it up a little bit take a fucking breath
Starting point is 03:38:18 that's literally what it was like like daredevil fucking amazing punisher all right this is pretty damn good all right now we got like eight other guys there's fucking golden cock and there's there's the guy with the skin the black guy with the yeah the black hammer and uh there's jessica jones she's a whore but she but she but women are strong they can be whores if they want especially when they can bend steel and then we got golden hands or whatever that fucking guy was there's like I don't even know their names but there's like golden
Starting point is 03:38:52 hands and black dynamite and fucking gay tornado or some shit and now they're all fucking friends and they've called themselves the defenders and they're hanging and it's just like god damn it you didn't do a good job blending this together whereas this time it seems like i look forward to i hope that marvel now that they have the defenders under their flag now uh go back to the casting choices
Starting point is 03:39:17 that netflix made with the daredevil show it seems like they could pick it right back up you know cast the same guys daredevil get vincent d'onofrio to play wilson fisk and get uh jessica from um true blood you know the red sexy redhead uh infinite virgin to you know jump her right back in the show she was good and just keep that thing going punisher was god damn it i wanted to like it so much but like that second season of punisher sucked to me it was just i was gonna say i thought the first season was okay first season was pretty good yeah it could and i was i was like oh they really need to step it up so that next season like all right we got his backstory out of the fucking way he's not you're not gonna be we got all this crying
Starting point is 03:40:02 out of the way all this flashbacks to his dead wife out of the way. Now he can just fucking shoot people. And it's like, no, this year he's not shooting anybody because he's on a mission. This is like, well, God damn it. How about a standard fucking Punisher tale where he's just like the cool shit that I wanted to see? Like the classic like Schwarzenegger scene where he like goes into the gun store and like picks out his weaponry and shit like that and then he goes in and like methodically takes out a gang of thugs like john wick does that's what's great about john wick it's like the weapon selection i dig that i like when he's fucking picking out his suit uh and then and
Starting point is 03:40:40 and then then all of a sudden and we're in the fucking dance club and the purple strobes are flashing. And you just see fucking him walking through in that fucking suit looking slick. And you know shit's about to go down. It's like, yeah, this is why I watch. And Punisher's like, yeah, we did all that off screen so we could focus on this woman who's having troubles. I don't fucking care about her. I'm watching a show called The Punisher, not the bitch The Punisher gets tangled up with in a bar fight. I don't fucking care about her i'm watching a show called the punisher not the bitch the punisher like gets tangled up with in a bar fight i don't fucking care about her i want to see this man murder that's what i'm here for i haven't watched i agree that's the
Starting point is 03:41:14 punisher's the coolest superhero in my opinion because the punisher doesn't have any fucking special powers his special power is sadness he's right? His wife got killed by thugs. And now he didn't like that very much. But he's got like special forces weapons training. So now he's murdering thugs. He is a vigilante who wears a fucking bulletproof vest and is really good with an AR-15. And he just goes around murdering criminals. That's it.
Starting point is 03:41:44 I mean, I like the idea of that. It's awesome. There's been a lot of good stories where he gets tangled up with Spider-Man because he thinks Spider-Man is... Someone frames Spider-Man to make it seem like he's a criminal. And so Punisher is after Spider-Man. And they have this whole back and forth. Kind of like the way Batman vs. Superman, the movie, was.
Starting point is 03:42:04 And then at the end, they figure out, oh, oh we're actually friends here and they go and focus together on the real thread it's good it's a good quick story you know what i'm glad they did with spider man no more origin story you know they didn't have to like get bit by the spider again and like if i see uncle ben die one more fucking time that was sad and i get it in that original or not original but the one with toby mcguire yeah or uncle ben after he what kills bonesaw or something bonesaw is who was that uh macho man randy savage is he the one who goes oh yeah right yeah oh yeah was that his thing oh yeah i don't know what he sounds like that's pretty damn close it's pretty pretty damn so he's just a gruff guy i am the cream and he holds up a like but he's doing slight he's actually got a little bit of slight hand
Starting point is 03:43:01 under his belt so he keeps like coming up with another creamer out of like like literally like with a little slight of hand he's like i am the cream and the cream always rises to the top and he's like he like reaches out and he's got another creamer like he and the guy who's interviewing me is like like like black people seeing magic he's always just like like every time he comes up with another creamer like it's it's great it's one of his best interviews. I'm listening to him right now. I'm undeniably, unjustifiably in a position I'd rather not be in.
Starting point is 03:43:37 How did I know that's exactly what you were watching? The Kramer. He just lifts it out of his hands. I hate wrestling wrestling love wrestling interviews will rise to the top oh yeah it's fucking great
Starting point is 03:43:55 yeah but no more origin stories with Spider-Man like did three Spider-Men in the course of like eight years or something like that and it's like oh right I liked Andrew Garfield as the Spider-Man that movie made me cry he was the one of like eight years or something like that and it's like all right i liked andrew garfield as the spider-man that movie the handsome one in the middle he was the one from like uh hacksaw ridge who's yeah yeah too handsome really i didn't think he was very i think he's got a goofy looking what say his name again i want to google him for everybody james garfield i think i think he's just an average-looking fellow.
Starting point is 03:44:27 Average-looking fellow. He's kind of got big head syndrome. It looks like his head's a little big for his body. Andrew Garfield. He doesn't even come close to filling out the physique, though. He's taught. A nubile gentleman. Yes, he's a lollipop. Just a little bit.
Starting point is 03:44:46 But there's this scene in that movie i've talked about this before but there's a scene in that movie where spider-man has been like grazed by a bullet in the thigh and uh but he's got to get somewhere to like save everybody and he's on like a rooftop and he's fucking limping like he can't he can barely walk and he's looking at where he needs to go and uh and he's just like i can't make it there's the buildings are too far to jump to like i can't shoot my web that far and like there's all these crane operators and they're like cigar chomping crane operators the hard hats and they're like spider-man he neat and he like moves his like crane out so that spider-man can swim and then you look and all the cranes down the street are all like coming out yeah spider-man
Starting point is 03:45:34 sees that like the people of new york are with him and he looks down at his bullet wound and he shoots a little web on it like seals the bullet wound up with some web and he's just like and he just starts he starts running but at first it's this real limpy run with some web and he's just like and he just starts he starts running but at first it's this real limpy run he can barely go it's just ah ah and then he speeds up and it's faster and faster and faster until he's just doing his spider run he's just killing it and he jumps into like you know just putting his life on the line and he makes it now he's fucking doing his spider swing and i i was i literally like tears in my eyes i'm like yeah that's right we're all behind you i thought you were saying all that to talk about how stupid it was no it meant so much to me that was it was it was so good spider-man over there yeah i'll
Starting point is 03:46:23 fucking put off work for this. Everybody else also. I'm a sucker for a victory scene like that, but that one didn't get me. I liked it when... I know what you're going to say. It's so good. It's the Rhino one, right? There's the Rhino,
Starting point is 03:46:38 and people are like, where's Spider-Man? Spider-Man, he's afraid. He doesn't want to do this anymore. He's kind of leaving us there. And this kid in a spider-man costume is going to take on the costume the kids like are the rhino kids like six years old he's an idiot he doesn't know what the fuck he's doing and uh the the rhino is just like holding all the police down there's like 30 cops there there's nothing they can do they have pistols against a tank on two legs with a big rhino horn.
Starting point is 03:47:08 And the guy's mocking everyone. And he gets up there and he holds the bull horn. And he's like, you know, put your paws up. You're scaring the good people of New York. And you're kind of insulting rhinos. And the guy's like, come on over here and get your ass kicked. And he's like, come over there and get my ass kicked. Okay.
Starting point is 03:47:37 And sure enough, he webs over there. The guy shoots rockets at him. He deflects them with a sewer manhole cover, and it's pretty badass. The one for me in superhero movies, and it's the it's the classic one it's it's from fucking endgame man like that final scene when thanos is pushing when all the girls stand together oh i'm just fucking with you if i could edit that out like the movie would improve by a whole star um that is so fucking cringy cunt power for the win so no it's the scene where thanos has stormbreaker thor's axe and he's slowly pushing it into thor's chest and it's like game over and then the fucking mjolnir you like get a quick cut to mjolnir and like dust is like
Starting point is 03:48:21 it's jiggling and like dust is levitating and you're like oh and you think thor is gonna like magic it to his hand but no it comes flying out of nowhere and hits thanos he's like ah what the fuck and fucking captain america's like catching it and he's just oh that was such a huge fucking moment it's like like nothing has ever been built up that well that well in a movie it's because there's been there were so many 31 movies built to that it was incredible so many marvel movies and i get that some people see that as the weakness behind the marvel universe and in some ways maybe it is like you can get you can get fatigued by that many movies but the one thing
Starting point is 03:49:00 that was always the same was like no one can can lift Thor's hammer. Thor's like, no one can, can fucking lift this thing. There's only one scene where captain America, he jiggled it a little back in age of Ultron. And even Thor was like, Oh, wait a fucking vision can lift it too.
Starting point is 03:49:15 And then the, and the, yeah, there was that scene where vision lifted it, but that was kind of played as a laugh almost to like, and to like bring the team together. Like, Oh,
Starting point is 03:49:22 we can trust this guy. It's like, yeah, let's just move along and forget that happened. But when Captain America fucking gets it to fight that fight, and then they start 2v1ing him, and they're flipping the weapons back and forth, and that's such a great scene.
Starting point is 03:49:36 It is very, very good. I liked shortly afterwards when... So Captain America's the only guy left standing. There are impossible odds. You've got Thanos there, who's a problem. But the ships have come over the skies. He's darkening. There's so many bad flying monsters and running guys.
Starting point is 03:49:59 It's just 1,000 v. 1. It's an army of 1,000 v. 1. It's an army of things that are much rougher than people. And Captain America just kind of tightens his shield around his arm, which might be broken. I don't know. Yeah, it's like his arm's broken and he just like. He just splints it up.
Starting point is 03:50:14 And cinches it up. And he's like, you know, this is a losing battle, but I'm not quitting. And then on your left. And, you know, for some reason, Black Panther is saying Mugambo or something. He loves to say that. But everyone's. Mugambo. Mugambo, yeah.
Starting point is 03:50:33 Something like that. Okay, Mugambo. I don't know what that means. I don't know exactly what it sounds like that. He says some African gibberish. But everyone's just popping up. And it's like, oh, my God, they're here. And then Ant-Man comes out with the Hulk and and it's like oh my god they're here and then ant-man comes out with the hulk and it's pretty cool and that's another thing that that makes the 30
Starting point is 03:50:51 fucking movies before that one like pay off it's like holy shit that's right there are a lot of superheroes that we've met before and every fucking one of them shows up it's just like fuck all the golden fucking circles everywhere the portals and everybody you've ever heard of is coming through it's that's a great scene but nothing tops that do all of them get some of the
Starting point is 03:51:16 kills on screen yeah the raccoon showed up but like we're given Wonder Woman and Super I love that Wonder Woman's there in your head. Is she not? She's not Marvel. She's DC. Obviously, we're going to show the Hulk doing
Starting point is 03:51:31 his brunt, and then we'll go to Iron Man. We're not going to show the tree, but did everybody get their little scene in the fight? At first, it's everybody running at everybody. Remember the X-Men cartoon? When at the end of it, you've got the entire x-men versus the entire like bad guys and they all like running at each other but that's what they do they have like every
Starting point is 03:51:52 single good superhero you've met through 30 movies and the ancillary characters the sidekicks the the guys who just had a passing scene were like oh yeah he's a magician like they're all there yes they're all there like like the the fucking littlest side character in in existence black panther had hundreds of warriors and he brought the whole of wakanda they brought all of wakanda and and like there's a movie detail subreddit where they're like do you see these random people they're the same random people we didn't introduce you to in black panther yep hey we got all those same extras perfect like they do pretty much they do yeah the same thing with um like doctor strange like the first movie
Starting point is 03:52:37 there's like one he's like learning his magic there's like a couple of like i don't know asian monk type guys behind him like like it's like way in the background like you'd never recognize them again they're there they're there they're coming through gold fucking circles to fight aliens it's it's the second best scene in all marvel it's it's excellent that's the scene that a lot of people bring up but captain america fucking picking up the ulnir and saving the day is by far my favorite marble i have watched that battle and end game it's like i probably have more time watching it out on disney plus than like everything else on disney plus combined i will watch because if you go to youtube to watch it one they break it into
Starting point is 03:53:15 like eight videos and then there's like little things missing and stuff and it's like no i want to skip the underground hawkeye running from monsters part. That's not for me. But once the glove gets upstairs or something on the surface and that fight begins, Thanos is there. I watch from there until the snap. Is this a good place to start? Iron Man, Thor, and Captain America are all standing on some rubble and Thanos is kind of sitting there like flipping something in his hand.
Starting point is 03:53:45 Yeah, that's pretty good. It's the beginning and it's like 10 minutes long. Yeah. I think you might be missing a lot. It's like 30 minutes long. It's like when I show my dad battle the bastards and I'm having to like, that guy, that guy,
Starting point is 03:54:01 rape that guy's sister. No, she's not here right now, but she will be. Was there a lot of rape in The Avengers? I'm talking about when I showed my dad battle the Bastard from Game of Thrones. He's saying you need the background. But it'll still be good.
Starting point is 03:54:18 It's an excellent battle. The CGI is real fucking good. I'm watching it on the lowest volume right now. They're having a little chat. And Ron Perlman. That is Ron Perlman, right? Who is...
Starting point is 03:54:31 Oh, no. Thanos is the guy who... Sons of Anarchy, right? Who the hell is that guy? I'll know in a second. His name... I don't know why I thought it was... Josh Brolin.
Starting point is 03:54:44 Josh Brolin. Okay. Yeah, I was wondering about Sons of Anarchy 2 Thanos has a pretty cool sword I like how it has a lower blade part as well it's just symmetrical right it's two blades kind of oh the lower blade looks a little shorter now Thor, Thor's got two hammers and he's oh yeah you're right it's like a Darth Maul
Starting point is 03:55:02 but it's a blade oh they cut in the middle oh you're right it's like a darth maul but it's a blade oh they cut in the middle oh you're right this is the part where uh uh hurt lockers running around i'm skipping this yeah hurt locker running around that it takes too long and it's not it doesn't pay off for me very good move from thor throwing his own hammer up and hitting it thanos too quick uses iron man thank god iron man's metal is the same strength as the hammer probably iron man gets pretty hurt from that move oh he's kind of yeah he hasn't come back on scene again yeah but thanos is butt fucking right now thanos he does that to people oh so thanos can pick up thor's hammer no you might be looking at the axe. He grabs Thor's arm, which is holding the hammer.
Starting point is 03:55:46 Is he holding Stormbreaker, the big axe? Yes. The axe and the hammer have different rules. Yeah. Ah, that makes sense. Okay. And Captain America, so eager to throw the... Oh, the shield comes back.
Starting point is 03:56:01 Okay, well then that's not... Oh, that thing does not obey the laws of physics. No, no, it's not even close. It never has been. Yeah, and now Captain America has the hammer doing some damage. Must have been embarrassing for Thor. You are... You've just watched like 30 minutes worth of battle in three.
Starting point is 03:56:18 You're missing a lot, I suspect. Oh, I'm sure. I'm sure. Now, I mean, his unbreakable shield's broken. While we're on the subject of super nerdy shit, I want this. We have here... This is a Star Trek Klingon botlach.
Starting point is 03:56:37 It's a batlet. And it has a hanger, too, so you can put it on your wall. That way everyone will know how cool you are. Loud and proud baby, loud and proud. This is good. That would be so embarrassing to hang up on your house. Oh no, there's something wrong. I heard they're more effective than condoms at preventing pregnancy. I feel fucking unpopular. You won't get a fuck is what's after this thing.
Starting point is 03:57:03 Any girl who doesn't think bat lefts are cool doesn't deserve a cocking down you can't get any dick at my house if you don't think fucking bat lefts are sick there's the Asian guy that must be Dr. Strange's background friend I just saw him probably he's a little heavy
Starting point is 03:57:19 being like I will too fight in the battle I like this thing I wonder how thick it is like i wonder if it's a little sheet medley 46 inches long and uh three kilograms so six point six pounds six pounds i just don't want it to be flexible no i don't either there's another one on there that's much hardier but it's $850 and it doesn't look like the doesn't look like Worf's needs to
Starting point is 03:57:52 that's the whole point I need it to look like Worf's yeah I've been watching a lot of Star Trek I've seen Star Trek so many fucking times but I'm re-watching it a little bit lately TNG and you know my favorite episodes are the wharf episodes when he like regains his family honor and fights in the
Starting point is 03:58:11 klingon civil war and all that shit and he has some good story arcs you know he actually has some pretty decent story arcs he uh his baby mama gets murdered by uh the same man who is the descendant of the guy who stole his family's honor by telling a lie. The great lie was that Worf's father, Moog, betrayed the Klingon Empire to the Romulans at the Battle of Kittimer. And that wasn't true. It was Duras's father who did that. But they blamed it on mogue and uh wharf was cast out had to live in shame raised on earth by uh by humans there's a complication that had wharf keep the secret that made his family look bad yep i forget it though yeah it was uh it was that the uh the guy who had the descent. So if your father does something dishonorable, you are dishonored. You lose all status.
Starting point is 03:59:27 so they had to keep the secret because so many of the members of the High Council also had been telling this lie, which is also a very dishonorable thing, that to uncover the truth would dishonor far too many people in power and perhaps upend the entire Klingon Empire. So he kept the dishonor on his shoulders for the betterment of the entire Klingon Empire. And it wasn't until much later on. When Duras. Rebels against the Klingon Empire. And faces off against the rightful. Emperor. That it's time to side with the Emperor. Fight Duras.
Starting point is 03:59:57 And it's actually Duras's sisters. Because Worf kills Duras. Because Duras killed Worf's mate. And in any case, it's a cool storyline. Probably sounds like the nerdiest shit ever to anybody who doesn't know what the fuck I'm talking about. Yeah, but
Starting point is 04:00:15 I like it. I like it a lot, and I like Michael Dorn, who plays Worf. I think he's a pretty fucking good actor. Instead of that nonsense Picard series, they should have made Captain Worf, and it should have just been about a gray-haired wharf with his own fucking uh ship running at the fucking klingon way and and and doing his own he's about the same age as picard was i guess now when he was the captain nice old gray sometimes kyle comes up with premises for shows that are top notch they It'd be such a good fucking show.
Starting point is 04:00:46 Yeah. You should pitch that. I'm sure it's been pitched before. I bet if you Google captain war, if you get a bunch of fucking stuff pop up, probably, but because he's one of the most beloved characters ever. And because of he wears so much makeup,
Starting point is 04:00:59 it doesn't matter that he's old. Like they keep trying to bring back these really old characters from TNG. And it's like, dude, they've aged out. Like, like, like they're all 60 to 70 years old.
Starting point is 04:01:12 Like they're not like, they're not, they're not, they're not capable anymore. They don't have the look, but warp wear so much makeup that like, I'm sure he looks great right now. As long as he's still marginally fit
Starting point is 04:01:25 he is yeah i'm googling him he's uh he's probably fitter than you're imagining like he's fucking he got fat around uh the movies like one of the in the latter couple of movies he was oh it looks good now good yeah i'll show everybody yeah great fucking actor one of my favorite star trek characters of all time um had an incredible story arc and uh they brought him back for deep space nine which is my favorite star trek so he you know he did like six years of the next generation and then like five or six more on uh deep space nine and he did all the TNG movies. They always found a way to shoehorn away, to get Worf into the fucking movie. I fucking like it.
Starting point is 04:02:10 Great character. Yeah. That'd be cool. You've got great lines. Lots of, I don't know, lots of cool moments. Maybe Star Trek Sunday. I'll watch all the Marvel stuff before Star Trek.
Starting point is 04:02:22 Although I guess I'm watching the last scene of the whole thing. There's a part in Star Trek, one of the movies, like Picard's kind of lost it. He's on like a rage-fueled, revenge kind of binge, wanting to fight the Borg. And Worf is like, they're taking deck after deck, so we've got to abandon ship. And Picard calls him, he goes, coward.
Starting point is 04:02:44 And like, you don't call warf a coward warf is willing to fucking die for for anything there's a scene in uh where warf is taken captive in uh in deep space nine and he's taken captive by this warrior race and uh so they make him fight against each of them they they start with like their weakest guy. They make war fight him. War fight's a struggled fight, but he beats and kills the guy. He's like, is that your best? He's like, that was our worst. It's like, shit. He fights five or six of these Jem'Hadar in a row, beating each one in succession with a few hours rest in between. Then he fights
Starting point is 04:03:23 the leader of them all the biggest badass and he's going in with broken ribs and like torn ligaments and stuff and he he's losing the fight and uh like the the way the fights works if you get knocked down you got to stand up and press a button to continue and he keeps doing it and the the leader's standing over him. And the leader's leader is like, finish him. Kill him. He's like, no. And he clicks the button that is like, quit. Like the guy who's winning the fight admits defeat to Worf.
Starting point is 04:03:57 Even though Worf was losing badly at this point. He's like, I can only kill this man. I can never beat him. And it's like, yeah. It's fucking Worf. All you can do is kill him. You can never beat him and it's like yeah it's fucking war all you can do is kill him you can never beat him it's like such a good character I fucking love it
Starting point is 04:04:10 that's a good line he's 68 when Picard calls him a coward I didn't realize how old he was if you were any other man I would kill you where you stand it's like fuck yeah great fucking line
Starting point is 04:04:21 rap? yeah yep alright any outros? no sir great fucking line rap yeah any outros no sir pka 533

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