Painkiller Already - PKA 539 w Brandon Herrera - Kyle Harrassed by Neighbor, Jon Jones Gator Hunt, Taylor's Wedding
Episode Date: April 20, 2021...
Transcript
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Yeah, I'm great.
PKA 539 with our guest Brandon Herrera.
Taylor.
This episode of PKA is brought to you by Express, VPN, and Lucy.
We got Brandon Herrera, long-requested guest, finally nabbed him, busy man.
Thank you so much for coming on.
Last second, by the way.
Cleared his schedule.
He had a funeral, and he said,
I was never even that close to my grandma.
I know where to find her if I need her.
Yeah.
Genuinely grateful. She's not going not going anywhere yeah that ship sailed no no it's good to be on guys i appreciate it yeah good to have you
yeah you were saying before how like uh you you must you how old are you for at first
25 25 okay you're an old looking 25 year old. In a good way. You look fit. A lot of miles.
He said, he's like, I remember watching Kyle's videos when I was 16.
I was like doing that like meme math where I'm like, is he younger than I am?
Oh, that sucks.
So yeah, you've been watching him for a long time.
And he said, watch a male Monday on Woody.
Obviously watching my same zombies gameplay just as much.
I've been watching
you two forever.
Taylor, you're really funny.
Thanks for that.
So yeah, thank you for coming on.
It's really apropos this week because
there's like five different gun things going
on. There have been multiple shootings
over the past few weeks and then there's that
the gun control, like five
measures or executive
actions executive orders whatever it was i was watching your video uh some of that beforehand
and i stopped in the middle because i'm like i don't want to learn everything before
i don't want to get tricked into learning something yeah absolutely not and so uh
yeah is that kind of your bread and butter following i know donut operator some of those
guys do like the shooting breakdowns do you do that as well or more just the gun side?
Definitely more so just on the gun side, but more like in kind of the comedy entertainment. Like I tell people, people ask what I do and I'm like, I'm a professional retard on the internet.
Me too.
Yeah, it works pretty well.
It's a great job.
It works pretty well.
It's a great job.
I don't do a lot of the shooting breakdown stuff like that.
I try not to get too political or at least do videos on politics
all the time because that's just really dry.
There's a lot of preachy people that do that anyway.
I don't really need to.
Sometimes, like I like, it's the clicks.
That's kind of nice.
I agree completely.
If it were me
in that particular space like there are some of
them that you just don't want to cover like there's no right opinion to even have on some of
this stuff it's like like you're just going to alienate 50 of your audience if you even take
aside it's almost better you're just like i'd never limit myself to just having the correct opinion
i i i'm wrong half the time at least i want to talk about that chick
the chick that shot the dude with the taser yeah yeah is there a video of that i haven't seen it
there is we can't watch that shit yeah we like you can't watch it but i can you know i'll break
it down murdered here it is there's this guy super dude, and he's doing that thing where he's like not fully complying.
Right. The cops have risk control and he kind of sits back in the car.
He's not like actively swinging and taking some stance or anything, but he's just not like, you know, putting his hands behind his back.
Like this on a resistance scale of one to ten.
He's given him like a 3 or something.
Can I just jump in real quick?
As someone who's been arrested a few times, there was zero resistance.
There was a point where I instinctively put my hand... They were like, are you armed?
And I opened my coat to show them that no, I'm not armed.
To show them your cool gun.
You goddamn... No.
I'm like, absolutely not. Do you want my jacket on or off and they're like if you could slip it off carefully and i'm like all right i'm gonna do it
real slow maintaining eye contact you sir i hope you're the first one to shoot if you see a gun hey
if you see something shoot but i got nothing like like i'm so compliant i'm just like i'm like which hand do
you want behind my back first there's no and i'm being like extra flexible because i know what it's
like to handcuff somebody i've handcuffed plenty of people believe me it's hard to get them on
sometimes i know and i'm just like hey if you could not lock the joint that'd be great i'm not
going anywhere and every time i asked them not to lock the joint they don't do it it's they've been
really cool about that because like in the, you see that chain between handcuffs,
that ain't how handcuffs work. They've got this, uh, hinge that they can lock so that your hands
are just like, er, like they don't go anywhere. There's no moving around back there. Oh, okay.
But yeah, every time I've been arrested, like maximum compliance, 10 out of 10,
this is not the part where we alpha the five guys with handguns.
All right.
So this guy isn't exactly alpha-ing them.
But like I said, a three out of 10, right?
He's just, I think he even like sort of sits down.
He's not like jerking himself away, but he's slipping.
Back in his own car, he's sitting down?
Yeah, I think so.
I assume it's his car.
And the cops have like risk control on them and uh the cops are kind of like wrestling is an overstatement
but you know they're controlling him and he's mildly not complying meanwhile this chick you
can see it on her body cam is like behind the male cops that are like risk controlling and sort of
like they're about to pull them out of the car and handcuff them and such.
And she pulls out what she thinks is her taser.
And now she wants to help the boys lock this guy up.
She is like a 50 year old out of shape,
worthless cop,
absolutely worthless.
And this is a physical situation.
This is a job that involves taking dudes who don't want to
comply making them comply but she is not qualified for this job because she can't fucking carry the
groceries by herself to look at her and uh she grabs what she thinks is her taser and she's like
i'm gonna tase them i'm gonna tase them and uh the the cops are still like working on the guy
and then she yells taser taser taser so they spread
clear kind of like the paddles you know and the surgery they don't want to be touching the guy
while she tasers him well she's got her glock in her hand she fires a shot into his chest and goes
oh i shot him she says oh i shot him again. This is a pretty good play by play.
Yeah.
As the guy speeds away, like when she shoots, he speeds off in the car.
I would argue he sped away after the shot and because of the shot.
Yeah, he was probably like, whoa, whoa.
Yeah, yeah.
I'm being shot at.
You know what I would do?
I would drive away too.
I'd be horrified to the woman who mistook a taser for a gun.
Yes.
His last words were, oh, fuck, that wasn't a taser.
Tasers really hurt.
So the way I remember it, she shot him.
He's like, oh, damn it, they're shooting.
I better drive away.
He does.
He doesn't make it very far at all and dies.
And now there's a question they're charging
her with some kind of manslaughter i think second degree manslaughter and now we're outside of my
depth yeah i look so my friend looked it up what second degree manslaughter is and give me like
15 seconds i think i can find yeah sure yeah while you look at that um i got this of course
brought up other cases of this happening and so after we're done talking about this one i've got
a completely different but exactly the same story to tell another taser mistake so i did see
something like i haven't seen the clip but i did see like some stuff floating around online where
it's like the weight of a fully loaded glock is like three times that of the Taser or something.
It's noticeable.
It's a very significant thing.
It's also like white and yellow.
Taylor, if everything is heavy to this woman,
she's worthless as fuck in a physical confrontation.
After Woody reads the third degree thing,
I want to talk the difference between a fucking Glock 19 and an X-26.
Even the handle of the Taser is so little.
All right.
Next.
Manslaughter in the second degree. A person causes the death of another
by the following means is guilty of manslaughter, yada, yada. The first condition, the one that
applies here, the person's culpable negligence
whereby the person creates an unreasonable risk and consciously
takes chances of causing death or great bodily harm.
It's the consciously take part that i struggle
with right was she called was she negligent undeniably right this bitch can't do anything
right she whips out a taser instead of her clock instead of a taser and actually pulls the trigger
and kills somebody yeah i just not sure about the consciously takes chance all right so
consciously go ahead so the two weapon systems will come like probably a glock 19 that's what
i see most of these people carrying i rarely even see a 17 but it's pretty hefty especially
fully loaded right you've got 17 rounds in there and probably one in the pipe or at least 17
i don't know exactly what
it weighs off the top of my head. Let's call it two and a quarter pounds or something. Just making
that number up. The grip, the, the, everything about it is noticeably different than an X26
taser. Not only that, an X26 has a safety on it. It's got a thumb safety on the left side. Okay.
So like, I'm just putting myself like, like if you blindfold me's got a thumb safety on the left side okay so like i'm just putting myself
like if you blindfold me and you put both things on the table instantaneously i know the difference
just by feel like like and if that doesn't work i know by weight and if that doesn't work i feel a
little more and like everything is different the the the even the the trigger guard on x26 is kind
of this weird thing on the glo Glock, it's completely different.
The grip texturing, the knurling is completely different.
The fact that there's a fucking safety that you would have to disengage before firing your taser should just be like,
oh, wait, this doesn't have a safety on it.
Also, usually the way I see cops do it, obviously i've never worn a taser i've used
the i've used that particular taser before for stuff i've shot people with it but they've got
their glock on uh on the right hip you know if they're right-handed and then on a cross draw
they've got the x26 they got to reach across their belt and draw it from over there that's
how i usually see them wear that system hard to get that mixed up hard to Hard to get that mixed up. What you have is someone who is,
Woody kept pointing out how she's physically unqualified for the job.
The real issue here, the failure,
is a mental inability to do the job.
Here's why.
Let's say that she wasn't a woman.
Let's say that she was a little person, right?
An actual midget?
Yeah, three foot six inch tall.
No, no, we were talking physical
not mental, Woody, so the fact that she's a woman
is irrelevant.
If she was three foot
six inches tall, then
she would have the same problem. She would
have to be working through her
weapon systems because she
was fucking useless.
No, that guy would be alive if her little dwarf
finger couldn't reach the trigger.
Shut him in the thigh.
The problem is this solution should have been putting cuffs on a dude.
Right.
And if it's a couple of guys, you might get in there and everyone grabs a wrist or an ankle or something.
They grab them out of the car.
They do whatever it takes.
But because she had nothing to offer in that category
of police work she had to fucking start grabbing glocks off her hip that was the problem it like
there should be a physical qualification for a job that involves wrestling criminals period also
probably not being colorblind i think would help considering she waved a clear glock in front of
in the video.
She's waving it around for like a solid four or five seconds at least.
And I'm like,
Ooh,
that's a Glock honey.
That's a Glock.
That's not,
Nope,
Nope,
not taser tasers to app.
Nope.
Too late.
Yeah.
Now he's dead.
Cause you,
yeah.
I mean,
it seems like a mixed bag.
Like if she was smarter than she might've been like,
Oh,
the guys
are doing the heavy lifting i'll just stand here and do my easy job but the whole i gotta be you
know i did my part i'm doing my part kind of thing it's like she pulls out her glock and blows the
guy away like yeah i already saw that she resigned which is like like pre-event which is basically
like you can't fire me i quit oh it's, it's not even that. You know it was a situation
where they called her into the office
and they were like, you've got to go.
We don't want to fire you.
If you resign, you'll probably
get part of your pension or this or that.
You should resign so that
you get these benefits
and it looks better on your record.
That's what happened.
It was her and her chief, I think, resigned.
Good.
Yeah.
But that's not good enough.
I heard that's your brother who's dead.
It's like, yeah, I heard you attempted to resign.
I don't know what to make of that, but that's how they described him on the news.
So the one thing I think they are doing right, though, is that they're charging and was charging
her with something reasonable because what they normally do is this stuff gets political
really quickly. They're like, oh, we want
first degree murder and you overcharge.
And it's like, well, no, no, it wasn't.
By definition, first degree murder.
He didn't break into your house in the middle of the night,
tie you up in the basement and kill you with a chainsaw.
It's like, these aren't the same things.
And then they overcharge
and then they burn a city down when
they don't get a conviction.
That's what happened in the Rodney
nerd.
I don't know that they even charged
this might be an overcharge. The
consciously takes chances of causing
death. I'm stuck on it.
I don't feel like she consciously made
this decision to shoot a guy. She
negligent, but
is that what that means?
Consciously takes chances of i never know
yeah yeah a good good lawyer could argue that she consciously drew a weapon and pointed at the guy
and pulled the trigger i considered that angle yeah maybe you're right maybe you're right i don't
know so this brought to light um a different situation um might have been in flor. I don't know. So this brought to light a different situation.
Might have been in Florida.
I don't have the details in front of me, but I watched the video a few days ago.
Not another taser mix-up.
Exactly, another taser mix-up.
Jesus Christ.
So here are the broad strokes.
We need to make guns heavier.
Way heavier, apparently.
It was another female, wasn't it?
It was a man.
So the situation was they were doing like an undercover sting where they had set up this felon who was wanting to sell guns.
And so they've got like the sting car with the hidden cameras in it.
And the undercover is buying these guns from this guy.
And he's just like, yeah, it's a German Luger.
It's a German Luger.
And he's selling this guy this handgun.
And then like the rest of
the cops start pulling in. This guy gets wise. He jumps out of the car and starts sprinting away.
I don't think he has the gun on him at this point. I think he's just running. He's, he's like running
for his life and they're chasing after him. And one of the cops involved is some sort of a 70 plus year old like reserve resource officer or something like that i don't
even understand exactly that man 70 like he's some sort of a reserve like he's not even like a full
cop um he's like a reserve officer whatever the fuck that means at 70 he should be running for
president and he's literally like 70 he should be leading the free world, not chasing guys on the street.
You gave him a gun.
He should have the launch codes.
He should have the football.
He looks like the guy from the diabetes commercial.
Like he's overweight.
Wilford Brimley.
Yeah, he looks like Wilford Brimley.
Well, they get this guy kind of on the ground,
and he's wrestling with him a little bit,
and he does the same thing. Taser, taser, taser.
Bang!
And he even says, he goes,
Oh no, I shot him.
Oh no, I shot him.
She said it too.
Oh no, I shot him.
To be fair, as old
as he is, he was probably around before electricity
was invented, so tasers may be a new concept. I'd try and act quickly and be like, as old as he is, he was probably around before electricity was invented.
So tasers may be a new concept.
I'd try and act quickly and be like, taser malfunction!
Taser malfunction!
This one shot a bullet.
What if he was just like, damn, that taser's got some heft.
Right, boys?
Your Google search history includes how do you delete body cam footage? Yeah.
How many times has this happened um this is not the second time this is not these two times are not the only time
because i've seen it a third time i've seen was it on a chicago subway i dude i've seen so many
of them frankly i i they're they're all jumbled to me dude i saw one i think the guy might have already been cuffed his hands were he was on his belly that's it yeah yeah and the cop
pulls out what he thinks is a taser and he pretty much executes him by shooting him like in the head
or something with the gun jesus christ it's awful it's awful it's just awful. It's just awful. And like, you,
you tase him in the head.
As I was saying it,
I'm like,
maybe the taser thing was just the thing you said.
I'm going to tag him in the back of both ears.
Cause the other ones seem like genuine mistakes.
You know,
like I remember how you would always really believe was incompetent.
I,
the woman sold me on her incompetence.
I think through and through, she is physically
and mentally completely
unsuited for this job.
You know how cops, whenever
they wanted to beat a suspect, they would yell
stop resisting?
I think whenever a cop wants to
shoot a suspect, they yell
taser.
This is all part of their training.
Remember guys, if you ever wanted to straight up murder someone in the street, just yell taser, taser, taser and let them have it.
You're in the clear.
You're in the clear.
Slap on the wrist.
Do you think you know the bad guys?
Sorry, Brandon.
Do you think they actually train to yell, stop resisting while beating someone?
Yeah.
Or is it just cultural?
I think it's one of those things where like.
Unspoken thing i think it's one of those things where like like before a show sometimes we'll be like yeah you
need it you know if you need to cough just hit the mute button and uh if you need to take a bath
an extended break just kind of send us a private message and you know we'll smooth it all over and
also if you want to uh beat the shit out of a suspect in the street just stop resisting stop
resisting they're gonna be flailing a lot because you want to hit the
elbows a lot with your baton. Elbows,
shins, they're going to be in so much pain. Of course
they're going to resist.
If you hit them in the head with a baton, they always move
their hands. That's a good time to hit them.
It's involuntary.
Yeah.
Frankie
Funny Bones.
Always tapping the back of elbows. Manufacturing fights so he can continue to beat you up.
Yeah.
And it goes back to what I always say about cops.
Cops aren't paid enough, and that's why we have bad cops.
benefits, then a whole better class of intelligent individuals who are physically and mentally capable of performing that job at the level it needs to be performed will apply for that job.
And all of a sudden, all of these nincompoops will fall by the wayside. They'll be like,
oh, how many we got for the recruiting class this year? We have 800 applicants and we're
accepting 50. All right, well, we can cut the 800 applicants and we're accepting 50.
Um, all right, well we can cut the bottom 750 out and that's going to include all of your 50 year old women who can't carry groceries, all your 71 year old guys who should be leading
the free world.
It's going to get rid of all of the like secret white power racists who have like murder death
kill written down the barrel of their personal AR that they carry in the back of their car.
The guys who like carry one of those like,
uh,
like curved Raptor claw blades in their belt.
I know a cop like that.
Look,
I have cop buddies.
I like them a lot,
but dude would show me his gear.
You know,
I'd show him my gear in the back of my car and he'd be like,
let me show you what I got.
And like in his belt,
he has one of those,
I don't know what they're called,
but like the curved blade Raptor claw little carambit dude we got
carambit or something like that years ago we were sponsored by that gaming company that sent us
these i i use it to open boxes yeah we open dog food with ours my cop buddy this thing destroys
just the best at opening boxes yeah yeah my my cop buddy carries one of those in
his belt uh it like goes in the belt buckle and he is ready to pull that out and disembowel a
suspect if need be we keep ours in the pantry he has his ar-15 and 400 rounds of ammunition
and just like like you know he's like yeah this is my vest and this is my helmet and these are my gloves in case I need to fight.
Look at those knuckles.
They've got the Kevlar knuckles.
You can beat the shit out of somebody and you don't even feel it.
And I'm like, yeah, I've got the same ones.
Someone sent them to me, but I just, you know, I'm just selling them on the internet, man.
I'm not looking to beat people up with them.
He's like, oh, I am.
Does that ever give you a feeling of power?
Maybe I'm an asshole.
I'm open Does that ever give you a feeling of power? Maybe I'm an asshole. I'm open to that idea.
But when I carry a gun, I'm just kind of aware of the fact that I'm deadly.
My motorcycle gloves have a similar kind of Kevlar knuckle.
And it's like, I could hit someone really hard with this.
Now, of course, that's probably not the weakest part in my fighting style.
But it just feels like, Oh,
with these knuckles and this gun,
I'm 1% tougher than normal.
Do you remember,
uh,
well,
everybody does that,
that like really egregious shooting in Vegas where the guy's like,
you know,
get on the floor,
you know,
right hand red,
do the dinosaur,
like just make them do a cabbage patch.
And then like,
it showed a picture of that guy.
And it's like,
and here's the gun he used.
And it was engraved. Like, I fucking kill you bitch it's one thing written on the
side like that and it's like yeah that should like you first you shouldn't be allowed to label
your guns with little messages like that you're dead with a smiley face what did his gun say
if you're a cop you shouldn't be able to have like get fucked criminal i might have been get fucked i'm gonna have the dust cover of his ar-15 yeah yeah he's got his desk
covered like fucking laser engraved like get fucked or something like that your personal gun
said uh i can because of my badge i can kill you and not go to prison pretty much i'll get paid
leave bitch i can do whatever i want because i'm a cop. Yeah, if you just raise – because it's a hard job.
It's a job I wouldn't want, and they do get stuck into situations that I do not envy.
That video I sent you guys earlier of the police officer killing the 13-year-old who he met up with in the alley at 2.45 a.m. in the morning, and the kid had a Glock.
met up with in the alley at like 2.45 a.m. in the morning,
and the kid had a Glock, and he pulls the Glock and throws it away.
At the same time, he's raising his hands above his head,
so it's real ambiguous whether or not it's a good shoot or a bad shoot.
Cop taps him once in the chest, and the kid dies right there on camera.
And it is, on the police camera, you see this kid's bloody face with blood coming out of the mouth and the life leaving his eyes at like i stopped watching it i didn't like i didn't like seeing that i didn't
love it but i watched it all because i wanted to know what happened and it i i'm left still not
knowing if the cop was in the right or not but what i think was he was in a terrible situation
and and like i don't know i'm glad it's not up to me whether he's in the right or not did you lay
it out for everyone i was kind of multitasking finding yeah you know the cop chasing the kid
down an alley the kid's like 13 um he's wearing baggy clothes and he finally stops the cop has
one of those uh the cop told him to stop multiple times and he ran another 20 seconds maybe sure
cop has like one of those uh like tactical strobe lights on his handgun and uh which is blinding as
fuck if you've never been hit by one of those by the way andbe lights on his handgun and which is blinding as fuck if you've
never been hit by one of those by the way and super disorienting and while the kid is raising
his hands above his head he is simultaneously drawing a handgun from his waistband and
disposing of it it's both it's like get rid of my gun and hands up and it's just this this like
single motion where it's like gun throw away hands hands up. And the cop has to make this decision
instantly for his life.
And he does. And his decision is to shoot once.
That's one thing I at least
give him, regardless of whether it's right or wrong.
I often see cops be like,
oh, we need to shoot
all of our bullets now.
And it's just like, dude, he's
been dead. You're just ricocheting
him into Toys R Us now
like
magazines
process
ricocheting into Toys R Us
yeah it's all good nobody's there
anymore
all right
the Circuit City and the Toys R Us were
riddled with bullets
police estimate 15 to $20 worth of damage.
So this, I assume, this happened very recently, right?
So nothing's, it hasn't begun to unfold.
No, it's like brand new.
It got linked to me.
The moment I sent it to you was the moment I had received it.
Where did it happen?
Like what city? I'm digging that up right now because it says it's uh chicago ah chicago very
popular for for shooting yeah if anyone out there wants to see it and look i talked on pkn about how
you should avoid scarring your brain with like fucked up shit on the internet so um it's your
choice whether you want to see it or not.
The title is Graphic Warning Bodycam Footage of Chicago Officer
Fatal Shooting of 13-Year-Old Adam
Toledo.
If you actually want to see the thing.
I didn't see the gun at all.
To me,
it looked like the kid was running.
He stopped running,
put his hands up, and the cop
shot him. i was like whoa
why it seemed like a bad shooting to me and there's this frame where you stop it and there's
nothing in his hands the light is on him you can see clear as day he was unarmed and uh had his
hands up when the cop shot him kyle's like yeah he had a gun in his hand so i was like wow
and i stopped the video i showed him the still shot he's like frames before that and then he
showed me the gun on the ground so i i missed that too i i wouldn't have seen it either it
wasn't yeah and like maybe the cop didn't even see it maybe they planted the fucking gun like i i
don't know the answers to these questions all i know is like there was a gun and the cop seemed super upset like like what another thing i don't like i mentioned them like
mag dumping kids in the street and it's when they do that i think it's another one of those like
thin blue line hey if we ever get into a shooting we we all shoot. Okay. They're not taking us all down.
If 18 of us light this guy up, there is no scenario in which 18 of us go before a grand jury.
They don't do it.
Okay.
If you let John over there fire one bullet into a guy, he can be found culpable.
But if 18 of us unload, clearly there was a threat and they will be on our side
i show up 12 minutes later pop one in in solidarity
and the other thing that i think is like similar to that and i don't like it
is when they have clearly just murdered a man and he is dead or dying and they're like stop
resisting knee in the center of the back, getting his hands
behind him, pointing. They really should be
doing what this Toledo
shooting cop did. And he's just like
forming chest compressions, checking for a
heartbeat. You know, where are you shot?
Where are you shot?
And the kid can't talk.
I rarely even see them ask that.
They're just like, oh god,
this guy who's clearly dead might
come back to life. They're afraid of
zombies at this point, which I can believe because
of the low level of individual you've got
being cops most of the time. This cop clearly wished he
hadn't shot him. Yeah.
Wished he didn't have to almost.
Yeah, I don't know if the cop saw the
gun or not. I didn't. If the cop saw
the gun and shot him, that's why. Good shooting, I don't know if the cop saw the gun or not. I didn't. If the cop saw the gun and shot and that's why,
a good shooting, I guess.
You know, the kid maybe just should have put his hands up
without touching the gun.
If the cop didn't see the gun, then a lucky shooting, I guess.
A little PSA for people at home.
When the cop is chasing you and he says, put your hands up,
don't immediately show him your cool gun. Not a good idea.
Just hands up. Pro tips here on PKA.
We brought in an expert for that.
I've been stopped by police plenty of times when I had a gun on my person or
in my vehicle. And never one of those times did I say, Hey,
do you want to see a gun?
You want to see a real cool gun? It's got tiger stripes on it.
Check out the barrel. It's got a...
Do you want to party before you go to bed?
Do you want to get your hands on the steering wheel
the whole fucking time?
Like, yes sir, no sir.
All right.
Eye contact.
I've done all that and still got chastised by a cop.
So in my concealed carry course,
they told us not to tell the cop you have a gun.
I have a gun as a thing that could make a cop
unhappy. What they told us to do
instead was to hand your concealed
carry license with the driver's license.
That was your
method of saying, I have a gun, and you answer any
questions about it. And
this cop did not like that at all.
He thought I was hiding
or something. Who hands over
a concealed carry license as a method of hiding it?
Guess where it is, copper.
Riddle me that.
But yeah, he chastised me.
And I was trying to explain to him this is how they told us to do it in the concealed carry course.
And he said, I don't know, basically, speaking on behalf of all police, that is not what you do. You tell the cop that I have a gun. I don't know, basically he's speaking on behalf of all police. That is not what you do.
You tell the cop that I have a gun.
Yeah.
See, I don't know what's right.
That's a situation where I become a smartass, though.
Like we got pulled over that time in Florida.
You know, I had like brand new tags on the SUV I was in.
I just bought it.
And it was me and my cousin Scott and this girl that I was returning to her house.
And the car was full of guns.
I mean, like seven ARs and eight handguns or something like that. A couple thousand
rounds of ammunition. And they shine the lights and they see it. And the guy goes guns. And they're
like, all right, everybody step out of the vehicle. And then they're running all the guns and
everything. And they're running the car's registration and our IDs and our backgrounds.
And finally it comes to conclusion that everything here is a okay. And they're like,
you really shouldn't, you can't ride around with your guns in there like that i'm like am i breaking any
laws they're like well no i'm like well i think i'll put them wherever i want then like like i
like my handguns rolling around on the floorboard in the back that's how i like them i like my ar
stacked up five deep in the trunk like that's how i like my ar stacked i should close my eye
put a hand where
the passenger's feet go, and find at least two. That was the situation, 100%. More so because
Scott was in the back seat, and when we got pulled over, he didn't like the fact that there were guns
stuck between the seats, almost in a drawable position. So he started pulling them out of there
and pushing them as far away from himself as he could which meant the floorboards were full of handguns and then he's just sitting there like
this like like like like terrified he never does well under those situations under the bright
lights of police flashlights um so so but i was just like no they're if i'm not breaking your
laws that's where they're gonna stay i don't i don going to stay. I don't have any kids in here.
I like having piles of handguns rolling around.
So I'm like the same way.
I used to like to keep just I had rifles all in the back,
three or four AKs, whatever.
Usually I'm transporting them to and from the range.
We're doing filming, whatever.
And it turns out you can't do that in South Carolina.
And I realize that now because I was held at gunpoint by police
for about 10 minutes at a traffic stop at one point uh because i got pulled over i don't even know
what i was doing i don't know how to get speeding but i was like uh i was in the middle of nowhere
south carolina and uh i get pulled over by officer tren and he just like jacked fucking 55 year old
and he's like yep yes sir like i do. And he like, yeah, yes, sir.
Like I do have,
I have a concealed carry permit.
Yes,
I am carrying.
I do have guns in the vehicle,
like being as compliant as possible.
Yeah.
And he sees puppy and he sees,
uh,
my,
uh,
he sees one of the guns,
I guess,
of the floorboard and immediately draws down and he's pointing the gun at my
fucking neck.
And he's like,
don't fucking move or whatever.
Take,
I have my license in my,
my wallet, my hand. He's like, put your hands on the ceiling. So I'm like, got my hands on the ceiling, whole nine yards. he's like don't fucking move whatever take i have my license in my wallet my
hand he's like put your hands on the ceiling so i'm like got my hands on the ceiling whole nine
yards he's like i'm waiting for backup to come i've got i've got three or four units on the way
blah blah blah all this shit and he's like you make one fucking move and he's saying all the bad
lines and i'm like trying to joke with him to cool him down because it was like 10 minutes i was at
gunpoint with just this dude he He'd say all the lines like,
I don't know who the fuck you are, but I'm going
home to my family. I'm like,
I would love that.
That would be awesome.
No, you're not.
We'll see about that.
You don't know who you pulled over, sir.
Oh, you only
sent for three? I sent for ten.
I was making
jokes and shit because I'm just like well
I appreciate your trigger discipline
uh like I
just trying to cool the guy down like hey I'm not
a shithead like I just I'm trying to go visit
my parents but yeah the
uh a couple officers did show
up and they they kind of like figured out what the
fuck just happened I was kind of like yeah
homeboy is he okay like is he everything okay at home blah blah blah and they kind of like figured out what the fuck just happened. And I was kind of like, yeah, homeboy, is he okay?
Like, is he everything okay at home?
Well, blah, blah, blah.
And they're like, well, technically, yes.
You know, you were violating state law.
Well, his whole family died in a fire three years ago.
And it's like, oh, no.
He was crazy the whole time.
His whole family had just died in a gunfight yesterday.
But apparently they had uh like you know
apparently it was against the law the way i was transporting i was unaware of that it was perfectly
legal in north carolina i just crossed state lines and uh they're like yeah but uh i kind of could
hear it in their voices like homie should not have pulled his gun on you and kept you at gunpoint
this whole time so we're very sorry please get on on your way. So I'm like, all right, well, at least that's cool. I'll take it.
So they acted like he was
kind of the spurg of the group.
I bet when they got the call from Officer
Tren, they're like,
another guy's being held at gunpoint. We gotta go.
Let's hurry up. Let's hope he's alive
when we get there.
Oh, fuck. Yeah, like, that's not just the third
one this week. Oh, and his name's
Herrera? Fuck!
I'm going back home to my family.
Oh,
I'm sure you miss your wife,
Samantha and your daughter,
Jessica.
Like taking a guess.
Your head blown off.
I was doing a bit.
Sorry.
No,
I'm not very funny,
but comments tells me all the time.
Yeah,
they can be super jumpy.
I,
I,
and I get it to some extent but
but like i had um i think i was in oregon got pulled over by a female trooper and uh and i
told her she asked for my registration or insurance card i don't remember which but it was in my glove
box and i was like my handgun's in there just so you know i've got a lot of guns in the car
i was like i was like i don't i don't even she's like how many i'm like i don't, I don't even, she's like, how many? I'm like, I don't know. I don't like keep a proper count somewhere between 12 and 15.
I maybe, I really don't know.
And she, but, but yeah, my handguns in the glove box with my registration, I'm going
to have to reach right next to a gun to give you that.
She's like, that's fine.
I got one too.
Like just give, gave no fucks.
Like she got it.
Like, you know, that, that's, that's the kind of calm demeanor that I like appreciate from my cop. Like, like, like she was real chill about it. Like, you know, that's the kind of calm demeanor that I, like, appreciate from a cop.
Like, she was real chill about it.
I find disclosure is usually the key because, like, I find that cops, like, usually are super chill, especially small town southern cops.
They're like, as soon as you tell them, they usually have that canned line, like, well, as long as you don't touch yours, I won't touch mine.
Sure.
Yeah.
Super chill. Yeah. Sure. Yeah. Chill.
Yeah, absolutely.
Yeah.
It's all the times I've had real issues with that.
I was away from home and it was like Georgia State Patrol or something like that.
Because when I was driving to Florida that time and I had the gun and slap full of cars again that looked funny i had thirty thousand dollars in
my passenger seat because i was going to buy a boat and i had like the car was brand new with
like stickers on it again different car 30 grand in cash 12 guns yeah and i had some scary shit
in the back i think i might have had a m249 in my trunk or something and um and so yeah they
I had an M249 in my trunk or something.
And so, yeah, they were just like, it's a belt fed machine gun, a saw.
Very cool.
And so they were just like, what happened was a trucker called in and said that I was waving a pistol while I was driving through traffic.
Were you?
Of course not.
I had my pistol. Allegedly?
Yeah, allegedly. Yeah. Allegedly I was waiting. And I'm just like, there is in my head, I'm thinking like, did I do anything that can even be perceived
that way? Like, did I wave my hand? Did I like fart? And I'm like waving it out the window or
something like, like what happened here? Like, no, none of that happened, but there was a nine
millimeter sitting flat in the passenger seat, and that's what he saw.
He saw a gun in a car seat down below him, and he called the cops on me, and they all showed up with hands-on pistols.
Not drawn, but maybe they were drawn.
I don't remember.
I remember there were hands-on guns, though, and it was just like, we can call the dog, or you can just let us search.
And I'm like, I don't want a dog scratching my new car.
Let me fucking search. i got another night the funny part is karen's
like that who will do their part to end gun violence and call you know report this guy
who's got a gun and has police go show up and kill somebody yo yeah often yeah task failed
successfully well one more gun owner off the streets.
But Karen would think he was just going to shoot somebody with it anyway.
He's going to murder someone.
Yeah, that shit's annoying.
So I was I was watching your I really enjoyed, by the way, I watched a couple.
I saw a couple more of the AR guy versus AK guy.
It's like watching.
It's like getting really into a subreddit on a niche hobby that you don't get yet and like after you get to like page three you're like i get the jokes
right i get what's happening like i watched the first episode and i'm like okay i get it so like
ar guys wear scarves and like talk about stats and ak guys are like let's go shoot things for
cheap and have fun and like this was just total impulse purchase like thought.
I just started looking right after watching that video.
I'm like, what kind of AK could I buy if I really want an AK?
And so I wanted to ask you, I don't have an AK.
If I wanted to buy one, what kind?
Where do I look?
Treat it like I don't know a thing.
So American stuff is usually pretty shit.
Like American, not American built stuff stuff, but American fully made here.
They cut a lot of corners.
They do a lot of casting, a lot of just really dog shit manufacturing
because they're like, oh, it's cheap Russian shit, whatever.
The Russians and the Soviets took that shit very seriously.
They have very high-end forgings, and it's very strong metal and everything.
I'm not getting too technical.
A lot of the overseas stuff, like Arsenal, very good brand, bulgaria saiga's all the russian shit's really really good
then you get american shit which is like oh it'll detonate after 2 000 rounds if you're using hot
ammo it's like yeah that's that's not awesome that's been i bought an american ak i didn't
know any better awesome dude i i was like oh it's an ak but it's american so you know it's good yeah
i'm like double good no it's more like multiplying two negatives or something i don't know it it i
think i fucked that let's not let's say it's not like that at all i don't know i would say
multiplying two negatives maybe the americans are positive i don't know negative but in any case it uh it sucks it it
jammed all the time i think i asked kyle to look at it he didn't have a solution i'm not sure about
that i definitely took it to a gun store and was like, hey, do you want to do a trade-in? I hate this gun. And they're like, no, no.
You're an excellent salesman.
Yeah, well, I did.
Yeah, good point.
So anyway, my gun sucks.
They suggested removing some piece of rubber to make it maybe better.
Oh, no, you have an IO.
I do, yeah, I think so.
Oh, honey.
Is that a really tough one to have?
Awful.
I've actually toured their facility and they threatened to sue me after the
video I made.
Really?
Earliest videos on YouTube is just awful.
Is there any way to make it not misfire?
I can,
you can send it to me.
I can completely demill it and replace all of the parts and rebuild it.
And then it might work.
So he'll make you a new gun.
all of the parts and rebuild it and then it might work so he'll make you a new gun and send that new gun back we can probably save like the furniture and the trigger i don't like the furniture
we could definitely save the trigger group and the screw the hour gave me better furniture and
i decided that the ak wasn't worthy of the furniture the furniture is like the wooden
part for anyone who doesn't know yeah and uh i was like man i really like this it's like it's almost reddish purple or i don't know
really appealed to my sense of style i thought it was cool but i'm like this gun is not worthy
of this outfit you can't have it yeah i never got too much into ak's whenever we would buy ak's it
was always to convert them to full auto so i I just buy the cheapest Wasser 10 I could find and make a machine gun out of it.
But back, I mean, I never had those Wasser 10s would just go and go and go.
I never had any issues with them.
You guys have me hoping for a Biden gun buyback program.
I can't find an idiot to buy my gun but maybe joe biden's that
man right maybe he'll buy my ak from me no one else will i don't think he's gonna go you know
we were doing a buyback and it's only for a shitty american ak you think they pay top dollar for that
it's got a right in the name yeah just wait for a local buyback. Wait till Chapel Hill's doing some
sort of crazy, you know, oh, well, get these
dangerous guns off the street. You're like, absolutely.
$200 Best Buy gift card. Here
you go.
Can you negotiate at a buyback?
I would.
Here's how you negotiate at a buyback.
You put up a picnic table right
in front of the buyback and outbid
them. Keep those guns on the street.
We watched y'all doing a 501c3 and actually doing a gun safety whatever thing
and just putting up booths in front of buybacks.
Like, what do you have there?
Oh, World War II K98.
Your grandfather had the app.
All right.
Well, they're giving you $100.
$140.
Yes.
That's the way to go.
I would love to do that.
We even put up the paperwork.
Our mission statement was to take
guns out of the hands of people who didn't
want them or didn't feel safe with them and put them
into the hands of private collectors.
That sounds pretty friendly.
Yeah, I want to rephrase that
to something that sounds worse.
That's like the strategy I use where I wait until Girl Scout
cookies come to my neighborhood and I'm faster than those little kids so i run ahead of them
with with my own assortment of better store-bought cookies when you rather have some double stuff
oreos ma'am get out of the way samantha i'm getting the fucking cookie badge you can prove
your theory that girl scout cookies suck and that they can't come to the open market so fucking good
those samoas are a top
tier fucking cookie.
There are versions of Samoa that you can buy
in the cookie aisle that are better than the
Girl Scout cookies. I've never found a thin mint
alternative that's better than thin mints.
The free market realized that
there's not enough incentive to even make thin mints
without girls guilting you.
There's no way to make it.
It's a monopoly is what you're saying.
It's a monopoly.
It's a guilting monopoly.
It's charity marketing.
They can't compete on the open market
is Taylor's essential thing.
If true capitalism would take place here
and you had to compete on your ideas
and your product,
then Girl Scout cookies would never be sold.
What I want to know is why the Boy Scouts
don't sell jerky.
What do they sell?
Popcorn?
They don't sell shit. They fucking make fires and get molested. That's the Boy Scouts don't sell jerky. What do they sell? Popcorn? They don't sell shit.
They fucking make fires and get molested.
That's the Boy Scout motto.
That's their fucking mission statement.
I actually got molested.
I was in the wrong Boy Scout troop.
That's a really good fire you made, Johnny.
That's good enough to keep us both alive.
I want to learn to rub two sticks together.
All Boy Scouts get molested.
I don't feel special anymore.
My dad pulled me out.
The other Cub Scouts
dads were hot on my mom.
I never made it out of Cub
Scouts.
We sell
popcorn or fertilizer.
Oh, that's trash.
What should they sell instead?
Not after 1993 or whatever.
They stopped doing that.
I can just see a bunch of Boy Scouts
showing up at my house. We've got
35 pounds of prilled ammonium nitrate
out here if you need it. No, no, I don't.
No, no, you gotta take that with you.
You shouldn't be here. No.
Little Johnny hit his fertilizer goal again.
Yeah, all to the same Ted Kaczynski fella.
He's a
huge supporter. What should they sell? He doesn't even have an address. Mail into thenski, fella. He's a huge supporter.
What should they sell?
He doesn't even have an address. Mail into the woods.
Jerky. They should sell jerky.
They should sell jerky.
They could even make it themselves.
I'd like to buy it, though. I don't want it.
Maybe I'm just personalizing it too much.
Not really.
What if they sent a kid in a wheelchair?
Well, just free jerky.
That kid can't even defend himself.
Fair enough.
If you can reach your jerky,
you can have it back.
No, I would think,
yeah, jerky just makes so much sense.
You know, if the girls are selling cookies,
then the boys should sell jerky.
Or sell better cookies.
Or signing gender roles.
I love that idea.
Yeah, sell better cookies. Boom. I love that idea. Yeah.
Sell better cookies.
Boom.
Getting a partnership with Oreo double stuff.
And before you know it,
like they're going to be blown out of the water,
a little bit of true competition in that cookie market.
They're going to flounder.
I would love to see that war start between the boy Scouts and the girl
Scouts.
Just the cookie war.
Yes.
That's the culture where this society needs right now.
I love this idea.
A little bit of levity that we can enjoy.
We need a real business person to take over the boy little bit of levity that we can enjoy we need a real business
person to take over the boy scouts of america is what we need i don't put over that shit anyway
it's like a nine-year-old standing in front of shark tank like i want to walk in front of the
girls and out and undercut them with cheaper higher quality cookies i'm in
i want 400 million dollars for for cookies
in return i will share them with you now he's becoming adam sandler but yeah that would be a
really good idea yeah i uh i got a no soliciting sign on my fucking door so i don't get bothered
with that sort of shit but um but still like samoa's to me are a great fight i don't even know what they
cost like are they overpriced i think so like like that that's something i i like i don't
remember i remember maybe buying some in like school like i think when i was in high school
someone was selling them and i and i like i signed up and bought a couple boxes like i have no idea
what they cost, though.
Like, if they're overpriced, then I agree completely because I'm not going to pay a premium to, like, support girls fucking,
I don't know.
Their patches or whatever.
Yeah.
Yeah, I don't know.
Where does that money even go?
What do they do with that money?
Do they fund Girl Scouts shit?
What do Girl Scouts actually do?
Boy Scouts go camping, hence the
molestation, but like the Girl Scouts, what the fuck do they do?
I don't know. There's definitely
someone at the top that's rich as shit
off that cookie nut.
There's a woman Scout somewhere raking it in.
Yeah. Or, you know,
if the world is the way it is, there's a
man Scout at the top.
That's much more likely.
There's Debra, who created the perfect pyramid scheme.
Hey, you need to get those little whores out there slinging those cookies.
I don't know that this makes it any better.
All of the net revenue raised through Girl Scout Cookie Program, 100% of it, stays with the local council and troops.
They may use the money earned to fund a project that will improve the community or donate the money to a worthy cause.
So all they've really taught us is they keep it.
Yeah.
They think their own cause is worthy.
Yeah.
A hundred percent of it stays with the local council and troops.
So I guess it doesn't filter to the top.
I don't know what to make of that.
I don't know what that means at all.
It definitely filters to the top.
Everything does. know what to make of that i don't know what that means at all it definitely filters to the top everything does i'm having a hard time talking shit about that yeah i don't mind i don't mind
it look i i mean i sold that candy for my elementary school you know there's boxes of
m&ms and snickers and shit yeah like i got a problem with it i just and again like i really
do think those are good fucking cookies if they're overped, then I know for a fact I can go to the dollar store and buy Samoa cookies.
I'm pretty sure they sell some, like you said, some knockoff Samoas.
But I like coconut, and there's not a lot of coconut snack options.
I bought everything anyone ever sold at my last house.
Every neighbor funding something, every local high school football team.
I just thought it was part of being in the community.
But my driveway is so long now i've never seen anybody that's great that's great yeah it's so much cheaper than having to buy the occasional girl scout cookie is just pouring a
long ass fucking driveway i just got it repaved i got these little neighbor kids ringing my doorbell
occasionally to fuck with me they're like
it's like two two guys and two girls they're like between ages seven and ten or something like that they're these little rap scallions running around in the neighborhood and uh and so like i was in
here the other day and i jump up and run and i look like a house down and there's this
little peaking out behind the house and like because of like the acoustics of like the way the the houses are shaped i can hear him very clearly
like more clearly than i should be able to hear him he's just like he's looking i see him and i go
i see you i see you and i like wave at him and i i go right back in and then i peer out my window
because i know he's coming back for more. He's coming back for more.
And I see him like doing the sneaky walk up my driveway.
I think I like him.
At first I didn't like him.
Now I like him.
I do like him.
No, I like him.
And he's the littlest of them.
I can tell the others have put him up to this.
You do it, little Raj.
And little Raj is like creeping up to my door.
So I go to the door and I like silently unlock the deadbolt and i listen with my ear on the door till i hear his little sneakers
scuff a little bit and i yank it open go ah like right in his fucking face he goes
and then i start laughing and he starts laughing and i'm i'm just like hey buddy you
y'all can't be ringing my doorbell i'm working in here and i was i think i was like we
were doing something with the show where it was like maybe pkn time or something like or about to
be and i was like i'm working in here you know and he's like and he starts walking like really
close to me and he's so short his head is like crotch level so i'm like backing up away from
this child i'm on probation over here and there's like a neighbor across the way who can see like a
child's face in my crotch
so i'm like backing away in fear like he's a velociraptor now and like he starts like nosing
into my house like what y'all doing and i'm just like i'm like the neighbor kids didn't put him up
to it his uh parents who were trying to rob your house did he's casing the joint now he's clearly
casing the joint like he's like what y'all doing in there
like like trying to get around my leg and like get into my fucking house right when he's standing
i'm just like you can't come in buddy you can't come in like he's just like oh okay what what's
going on and i'm like nothing stop ringing my doorbell and i'm not going back to prison that's
what's going on get the hell out of here that's's what I'm thinking. I'm just like, have a good day,
buddy. It was fun. It was a fun little joke,
but please don't ring my doorbell anymore.
I got to work. I got to work.
And I close the door, and it hasn't been back.
They do it again. We're going to
step things up a notch.
I think I'm going to put something gross on the doorbell.
Ah, you could do
an attack like in
Home Alone. We don't want to hurt anyone i know i was saying like home alone
remember that was that home alone or some other movie where they alone was very violent
are you gonna hit him with a flamethrower where's the rest of this idea is it the paint can that
swings down that could have murdered we don't want to send him back to prison
getting hit with a paint can swung from that high is like it's a problem you're gonna die
did the remaster
of that where they made it R rated
and VFX artists went back
and made it actual kill shots
everything at Home Alone they made it
graphic murder
so there just had to be like 10 Joe Pesci's
throughout the show
they kept adding a new van pulled up like
hey boss good thing we got to the
Twins Convention.
What a classic. Hey, weren't they making a
Twins 2
with Eddie Murphy in it this time?
They were supposed to.
Kyle mentioned that a while ago.
Schwarzenegger, DeVito, and Eddie Murphy.
Yeah, the premise is it's Arnold
Schwarzenegger, Danny DeVito again,
and Eddie Murphy. And he was the third twin. Like they, like the father has died and they're all at
the funeral and here's Eddie Murphy. And he was the trip. They're really triplets and nobody ever
knew about it. And he's the black triplet of the group and do another movie. And I thought that
was a pretty funny premise. I wonder what Eddie Murphyphy would be right because it the idea was that
everything that was pure and good went into arnold everything that was evil and like uh
non-respectable was danny devito how are we gonna handle the eddie murphy situation he's the black
one that's it he's the liar is he well that's racist i can't believe you just said that
well eddie murphy did lie about i mean eddie murphy did lie about picking up a trans prostitute in
the 90s or 80s didn't he yes that didn't happen i love that wait are you wait this is one of those
stories kyle that you just choose not to believe right um i believe the story he clearly picked up
a transsexual prostitute.
They pulled him over with the,
the young lady in his vehicle.
Yeah.
But he still got to be in Shrek,
you know,
it's fine.
Of course.
He's real better here.
How would that disallow him from being in Shrek?
No,
it shouldn't.
I was saying that he lied about that.
And so I was defending Brandon's take that,
you know,
he has lied,
you know,
but I guess we're kind of off the plot now, aren't we?
Oh, wow. Fair enough.
So,
Eddie Murphy hired a
private eye to defuse the scandal.
This is hiring a transvestite
prostitute.
But she, due to her rising
celebrity status, became
a star of an erotic film.
And then she left prostitution to become the house
of madame the house of madam at the nightclub 7969 where she performed erotic routines as a
dominatrix with live snakes eddie murphy made her career yeah i can't wait to see the scorsese movie
about that one she was turning tricks on the side of a street and then
Murphy landed her and now
she's the madam at the nightclub
7969. Isn't the madam
like in charge?
Right? Like running it?
I guess.
There she is also performing erotic routine.
She's the Pete Rose of brothels.
Yeah.
Good for her. The manager and the player at the same time
I didn't know that
That's total patriarchy because technically there's still a dude at the top
That's true
Oh I didn't think of that
Is he the sir?
I don't know
The madam and the sir
The madam and the lord
The duke
Now that's a cool name for a guy that runs a brothel
The duke now that's a cool name for a guy that runs a brothel the duke
yeah that's neat i've been watching uh that just popped in my head that that show
solar opposites on hulu made by the um rick and morty people have you guys watched that
no no it is not good it's just like i wanted to like it because I like Rick and Morty. I think it's pretty funny.
But good God.
It's like he it's like the same guy decided let's make a version of Rick and Morty where all the characters are unlikable and the voices are the same.
And it's like more people die.
That's the only difference is like it's more death and more violence.
but it's like it feels like if you took out all
like a lot of the fun sci-fi stuff
and the one liners and the jokes out of Rick and Morty
and you replaced like that 30% with just
gratuitous violence that's what this show is
like just it feels like a lazy Rick and Morty
I really don't like you should give it a go see if
you do but it's like I got through the whole
fucking thing you sell solar
opposites as well as I saw
American made a case
well I'm not I'm not trying to sell it I'm maybe watch one episode see if you polar opposites as well as I saw American made a case. Well,
I'm not,
I'm not trying to sell it.
I'm saying maybe watch one episode,
see if you like it.
It's a funny,
it's interesting,
an interesting show in that.
Like it's almost an anthology where like there's a family of aliens and like
every first,
third,
fifth,
like every other episode throughout the season focuses on them.
And then,
but one of the sun alien is like this evil little shithead who like shrinks people that he doesn't like and then puts them in this wall this wall of like
boxes like a terrarium and there's like thousands of people in there now and they're living in this
like mad max society all they have to live on is like when they throw gum or like tic-tacs in there
and they're all like two inches tall and like fighting with tic-tacs in there and it's like a
negan style situation and the guy who's in charge of the wall is called the Duke.
And so every other episode, they follow just the little people in the wall
who got shrunk down and put in there.
And I'm like, okay, this show's actually pretty interesting.
This is pretty funny.
They're trying to solve a murder, and they're trying to throw him off the track.
And they keep saying, all these murders were done by a rogue cricket
who found his way in the wall.
Because they're like, it's not a cricket.
I'm a detective.
And I know it's not a cricket.
I'm going to crack the case.
And it's that part.
And so really just watch every other episode just to see the little people anthology.
Because that's way better.
You know what's good?
Invincible on Amazon Prime.
You're saying that.
That show has me so hooked.
I was so disappointed to learn that it releases week by week.
So there will be eight episodes this season.
And as we record this, five are out, but it'll be six when we release it.
And I am so hooked.
I just, I binge watch.
I watch one after another after another.
I want to know what happened next.
It is animated.
It's about this teenager who like kind of hits puberty and becomes a superhero
they suspected this his dad is like the mightiest superhero of all and his mom's a regular person
so they weren't sure if he'd get superpowers or not sure enough he does and this is him navigating
his entrance into superhero dumb and uh without spoiling it there's some questions about how we feel about dad and uh
you know i uh i i want to see what happens next nice what uh what shows are you into
right now brandon ah so i finally just bit the bullet and got Disney Plus. Okay.
You got all the Simpsons now.
You're solid.
Oh, do I?
Really?
He was going to go Marvel on that, I'm sure of it.
That's why you bought it, right?
It was actually because I kept getting shit spoiled because I didn't start WandaVision.
I didn't do any of that. And now I finished as far as we are into Falcon and Winter Soldier.
Me too.
And that's, I'm like, all right, I'm kind of on board.
And I'm starting WandaVision now that I finished that.
And I finally got into the part where I'm like, okay.
It's getting interesting now, at least.
WandaVision.
You got shit on that relentlessly when it came out.
Kyle especially.
I was watching youtube explanation
videos and it made me appreciate some of the like easter eggs and hints and like
yeah you guys have completely spoiled the show for me if i uh sorry anyway so i liked a little
more than kyle because i was watching these youtube videos. Kyle liked not to have any spoilers. That was his preference on how he watched the show.
So I, on the other hand, wanted assistance.
What did I miss?
What happened in this thing?
Yeah, I lost interest.
The main thing, even though the story was getting better,
I didn't give a shit about those characters.
And it's kind of where I am with Falcon and Winter Soldier. I care shit about those characters. Like, like, and it's, it's kind of where I am with Falcon and winter soldier.
Uh,
I care more about those characters,
but Wanda's character,
I never really cared for in the,
uh,
in the movies.
They didn't know what to do with her.
Like she's so overpowered.
Um,
she's kind of like quick silver and,
or any of those speedster style characters that are,
that are,
that are in the movies.
It's like,
all right,
well it's time to fight the big boss.
We've got to find a way to like get the flash out.
Like,
like he's got to be busy somewhere else or quick silver has to be like,
have a sick aunt or something because there's no way that like someone who
can like change space and time can be here or they're just going to,
you know,
fix the,
it's kind of,
kind of the problem you have with Superman in the,
in the justice league. It's like when, especially in the snyder cut it's like when superman arrives it's like
oh okay so he can just beat the fucking dog shit out of the bad guy like like one hand behind his
back like he's toying with it it's like the end of the matrix right remember the end of the matrix
when neo is like like watching agent smith throw all those crazy fast punches
and he's just like dodging them and he's just like grabs his wrist and like side kicks him
through a wall and he's just like bro not even on the same level it's like i like how they hit
so marvel handles it differently marvel does a pretty good job of convincing me that everyone's
a useful member of the team right you've got iron man you've
got a guy who's literally a god and then you've got scarlett johansson with a glock and somehow
they're all taking down thousand foot long monsters right they're one punching leviathans
and you feel like scarlett johansson is actually a useful member of the team somehow i buy it i buy
it i'm sorry braden say that again? She's moral support. I get it.
Okay. On
Justice League, especially the Snyder Cut,
they didn't attempt to do that at all.
You've got Wonder Woman, Aquaman,
Cyberpunk, whatever the
fuck his name is, and
The Flash
all working, all doing their best
to fight the big baddie, and
then Superman shows up up and it's just
he's unimpressed i think superman lets him hit him and he says i'm unimpressed is that sound
about right to be fair um and and look if you haven't seen the snyder cut yet and you care i'm
spoiling a little little tidbit here the bad guy kills superman like like that's how the snyder
cut goes like the bad guy kills kills Superman and the entire justice league,
except for the flash.
And the flash is the one who has to use his ultimate super scion faster than
the speed of light turns,
turn back time,
uh,
maneuver to like win the day.
So I got to disagree there.
It's in the theatrical cut where it's kind of what you're describing,
where Superman just shows up,
beats the dog shit out of the guy.
And everybody else was,
was just like,
glad fucking Clark showed up.
Glad Kal-El like managed to get his brain straight.
Cause we were all just going to get beaten to death.
But in the Snyder cut,
they do a much better job of getting everyone involved except for Batman.
Um,
and the reason Batman isn't doing much is because,
um,
um, what's his fucking name that plays Batman?
I can't remember his face.
Ben Affleck.
Ben Affleck did not want to come back for the reshoots.
He was contractually obligated to come back.
He was forced to come back,
literally at threat of a lawsuit. And he's all out of shape.
His hair's different.
He's bloated.
He's not wanting to be there.
Are there pictures of him looking like?
Oh, yeah. He's in the movie. You can see he's different. He's bloated. He's not wanting to be there. Oh, yeah.
He's in the movie.
You can see he's fat.
And they've got him shooting parademons with a gun.
And while everybody else is in there hand-to-hand fighting some sort of demigod from another galaxy.
But, yeah, I thought they did a better job at it.
But still you have that issue where Superman is so overpowered that as long as he's got enough time, the problem was you brought Superman got there too late.
Like things were almost done.
The boxes were almost together.
That was the real problem.
And when the boxes merged, it blew Superman apart.
It killed him.
But yeah, I don't know.
I just didn't care about WandaVision that much because I don't like Wanda.
And I don't like Cumberbatch or whatever the fuck that plays Vision.
I don't – maybe I'm like –
Because Cumberbatch and Doctor Strange, I don't remember.
Yeah, yeah.
Whoever the guy is who plays Vision, I don't care for him.
I'm spacing on his name.
I'm spacing on his name too.
To me, they're supporting characters.
They're good to have. I like
when they've got their little lines
to throw in there. There's these little moments in the
movies. There was a moment in
one of the final Avengers
movies where Vision is trying to get
everybody motivated. He's like, yep, we've got to do this, we've got to do
that. And he just picks up Captain America's hammer
and hands it to him. He's like
nonchalantly. And I loved how underplayed
that moment was where Captain America just hands it to him. He's like nonchalantly. And I loved how underplayed that moment was
where Captain America just,
or he hands it to Thor.
Thor's just like,
all right, I think we can trust him.
It's great.
But like having their own show,
it falls a little bit flat for me.
You gotta be a real Marvel fan boy,
I think, to be loving these shows.
I'm waiting for Loki.
That's what I've got.
I'm hanging my stars on because Tom Hiddleston, I'm pretty sure that's the actor who plays
Loki.
He kills it.
There's a reason they have to keep bringing him back literally from death because he's
the best villain they've ever had.
He's better than Thanos because he's more charismatic.
He's just charismatic.
He's fun.
And he's funny. He's good to have on your screen.
I think it's neat that most powerful and best or most powerful and favorite
don't necessarily line up.
Loki is not the most powerful villain by far, I think, but he's great.
When you said he's the best one,
my asshole personality immediately wants to find an except no,
he's the best one. He's, he's got a,
he's great.
He's fun.
He's fun to have on screen.
And it's,
it's,
it's just like,
there's so many great lines and so many great interactions between him and
Thor and him and Thor and like all the,
uh,
all of their family,
that whole family dynamic.
It's fun.
Giving him.
It's,
it's hilarious to me.
Yeah,
it's great.
And you know,
he's got,
he's got like that magical backstabbing knife. We, we joked about a while back. It's like, And you know he's got that magical backstabbing knife
we joked about a while back.
It's like, I'm pretty sure you're going to backstab us.
Me?
Yeah, he's like that cop that murdered that guy in the hallway.
He's got a knife that says backstabbing on it.
Like his license plate says, like, loves to backstab or something.
That's his style.
It's almost like having an AR-15 with a dust cover that says, get fucked or something yeah exactly i'd rather be stabbed in the back that's his thing
yeah um i'm going to kill you just that's what it's like the line there's a line from one of
the thor movies where he's like oh yes one time when my brother was young uh he uh said hey look
and threw a snake at me and he knew i loved snakes it turns out it was a knife and he stabbed me in the chest. It's like, I love the snakes.
Really?
Well,
I mean,
there's no reason not to love snakes if you're invulnerable to them.
Right?
Yeah.
I don't think we ever talked about like the most recent captain,
the most recent Falcon winter soldier episode where captain America goes
again,
spoiler.
If you're not caught up with episode four of that,
Captain America goes
apeshit and murders a man
in full view of the public
in front of everyone as violently
as we have ever seen anyone
get murdered in a Marvel
property.
To continue on the spoilers,
the guy he kills is a super soldier.
I think he's taking the same serum that Captain America has.
And as a super soldier, he was able to kill the new Captain America, who's just a regular person, mostly, his best friend.
So Captain America learns that his best friend died.
Captain America kills the guy who did it.
Well, no.
The girl killed his best friend.
The half black, half ginger girl.
Oh, you're right.
But he just caught the closest super soldier he could.
He caught the first one he could lay hands on
and murdered him with the shield.
And it's straight out of the comics, too.
I don't know if you've ever seen it.
He yelled, like,er taser taser
stop resisting that's the guy's just like that was a good one
literally beats him to death with the captain america vibranium shield it's i don't think
there's ever been anything quite that violent in the marvel universe like usually when someone
even if someone's literally being like torn apart they'll just kind of get those cracks all over their body and like light will shine through them
and they'll like blow into like cgi we had an instance of someone like who's made of flesh and
blood being bashed to death with a very dull implement in the midsection until there's blood
splattered everywhere and uh and that's the kind of shit I like. I like over-the-top violence.
If there was a Marvel property,
that's why I'm such a big Punisher fan, right?
The Punisher just rides around
with a fucking AR-15 and a grenade launcher,
and he doesn't fucking tie bad guys up.
He can't even tie a fucking knot.
You think he knows how to bundle people up
like Spider-Man does?
He has no fucking clue.
He just kills them.
He just kills everyone that's there.
Yeah, no monologues.
He might say some shit after,
but he's just going to murder everyone with a fucking rifle.
John Wick was good that way, too.
Yeah, John Wick don't know how to tie a knot.
He's never tied anyone up that I can recall.
He'll catch the bad guy,
and you'll think he's about to explain his motives.
No, no, just shoots.
I like the John Wick movies.
The first one especially was really, really realistic and gritty.
It felt like it could have been real life, with a couple exceptions.
I'm not sure how I like the next couple.
I kind of go more toward that like graphic novel kind of like cartoon assassin
universe kind of thing like i like it still but i think i wish they would have kept it more
realistic you know can they do that without do you have to top yourself every movie can you just do
it again you know what would have been cool and i hate to say it because this is hollywood this is
what we always complain about but a prequel a prequel might have been cool
because like you know he used to be this assassin and everything and like i'm i'm always like in any
movie like whenever it'll it'll begin and it'll show like your hero like do a quick little mission
i'm always attached to that mission more so than the big thought out oceans 11 sort of like let's
get the team together and plot and plan sort of thing that's played out.
I like seeing that initial mission where they just go and do a real straightforward, simple seek and destroy kind of thing.
I could have watched a whole John Wick prequel movie about that.
They kind of set it up for that too because there's that whole thing like, you don't just get out of this business.
Do you remember what I had to do to get out?
you don't just get out of this business. Like,
do you remember what I had to do to get out?
They keep referencing like this crazy thing he did where he just like killed
so many people that,
you know,
they sent him on the impossible mission,
you know,
they keep referencing it over and over.
I want to see this prequel so much.
That's the movie we want.
We want the pre,
it's better than the two and three that they've made.
This is,
they need to go with this idea.
Well,
there's a four coming now.
Um, and I think a five
as well because
they keep making tons of money and
look, the quality doesn't drop.
It's just maybe the
story isn't quite as good. But
the quality as far as the gun food,
the hand-to-hand combat
stuff, the visuals, the
directing, the camera work, it's still pretty
fucking cool to watch. It's a rollercoaster ride of a movie
I only saw the first one
but I thought it was pretty good
I like seeing Jiu Jitsu
and I like seeing proper
gun work
the only thing that bothered me about the last one is where they went
it's obviously selling a lot of Terran stuff
the only thing I didn't like
is where they went like
they're wearing heavy armor here.
Here's a spicier nine millimeter.
It's like,
what the fuck are you thinking?
You have rifles all over here.
And you're just like,
nah,
here's a nine millimeter that goes fast.
Yeah.
That,
that didn't make a ton of sense.
And also like,
I think there may,
maybe there was some,
like some,
some fancy slugs they brought out for,
for that, that one black guy.
That's pretty cool.
I like that a lot more than the hot 9mm stuff because it's still a handgun.
Not even one of the more powerful ones.
You could maybe get a 10mm out there with some AP rounds.
Maybe I'll care. I don't know.
Or maybe a Smith & Wesson 500. maybe get a 10 millimeter out there with some AP rounds. Like maybe I'll care. I don't know. Uh,
but,
but,
or maybe a Smith and Wesson 500,
like,
like if they brought it like a big ass hand cannon or something and,
and like show him like speed loading that,
like maybe I'm down with that.
Like big fireballs coming out.
It doesn't even matter that it stopped it.
You just crater your chest cavity.
Yeah.
Just concuss them by hitting the helmet or whatever.
Um,
but yeah,
there's plenty of AP rounds that they could have like brought out.
Just bring out an AR 10. I don't know. there's plenty of AP rounds that they could have brought out. Just bring out an AR-10.
I don't know. There's plenty of shit.
What if he brought out a short
barreled Barrett or something like that?
That would be fucking dope.
He's loading that thing fast and just
dun-dun-dun-dun-dun.
Yeah.
I got a call.
We obviously couldn't do it,
but they had asked about I got a call. So we couldn't, we, we obviously couldn't do it, but like the, uh,
they had asked about using or potentially using,
I'm not gonna say like it was a sure thing,
but potentially using an AK 50 in John week four.
Hmm.
What's an AK 50.
Uh,
that was,
that was kind of the weapon system I was developing.
Uh,
still developing one of those things.
We're still have to go home and make the new prototypes.
More of like a passion project right now,
but like a 50 BFG.
Think of like an AK and a Barrett together, right?
Very cool.
And they were wanting to use it.
I'm like, I don't fucking have one, unfortunately,
but I would love to see that.
Like no matter what scene you're planning
in that fucking movie,
where John Wick is about to go kick ass
with a fucking 50 Cal,
I'm on board as a
viewer I want to see
I like when they do a little research and they bring
out some cool shit that I'm like oh
he's got a desert tactical rifle
there okay alright he's not fucking
around he's got a little bullpup sniper
alright cool cool cool
I usually like his handgun selection and stuff like that
but I do wish there was some more exotic shit
in there because that's the kind of stuff that turns me on.
Like if he brought out, I don't even know what he'd do with it,
but if he had one of those Anzio Ironworks 20mm rifles.
Oh, my God.
You ever shot one of those?
I haven't shot one yet.
I've seen them, and I almost shot Richard's one time.
We went out on the range, and he—
Oh, does Richard have a 20?
I think so.
Well, he had it in the back of his van.
I hope it was him.
Holy fucking shit.
Yeah.
I didn't know he had one.
They're like 17 grand.
That's not awful.
It's not awful, but it's not.
Well, it's not a Gary Vee's bag.
I'm thinking like a Barrett M107 is like 14 grand.
So I'm like, okay, for a 20.
All right.
You can get it for 10.
Richard, I could have. They'll sell them to you for a 20, all right. You can get it for 10. Richard, I could have...
They'll sell them to you for 10.
Gotcha, gotcha.
But in any case, that Anzio iron works.
For those who don't know,
it's a 20 millimeter bolt action rifle.
20 millimeter, I'm pretty sure
is what the F-18 fighter jet shoots
as it's like machine gun round.
Like 50 cal is 12.7 millimeter
and we're talking about 20mm
and way more powder
the whole thing is
way bigger weapon system
this is enormous, it's 6 feet
8 inches tall
the different variants are different lengths
I could barely
pick the goddamn thing up
it's like 110 pounds, the one I was playing with
Jesus
it's not like a 110 pound barbell, it's like 110 pounds the one i was playing with um and you know it's it's not
like 110 pound barbell it's this it's a rifle so it's all it's balanced funny and so you can't
just like stand like call of duty and just hold it out you know i don't think i attempted that
i like like it but it's the barrel is super long like it's above my head when i've got it sitting
on its buttstock next to me. I've shot two of them.
I shot Anzio's
down in Florida.
His place burnt up. I don't know if you know that.
I heard about that.
Some people broke into
his shop, his factory building,
whatever you want to call it.
I don't remember the exact
amount of... Is it 25
Bradley? Is that the stuff?
I'm not sure.
The stuff that Brad,
it's the Bradley fighting vehicle,
whatever it shoots,
it's 25 millimeter or something like that.
It's like this explosive chain gun shit.
Anyway,
he had call it $3 million worth of that in his building.
And so they break into his building,
probably trying to steal guns or whatever they could lay their hands on.
And then they realized they're on candid camera.
Well, the DVR that's recording them is in a vault, like not just in a safe.
It's in a vault.
And they just see wires going into like armor.
And so they're like, well, guess we burn it to the ground.
And so they burnt this place down.
And of course, he doesn't have his ammunition insured.
So it's like a $3 million loss on that that's unrecoverable and then the building and every gun he owned all
of that's burnt to the ground so at the time i was working with him he only had like his show gun the
one he was like taking a shot show and so we shot that a little bit um but he didn't even have a
scope anymore to mount on the thing because i don't think a standard leopold is going to stand
up to the recoil it's going to fucking shake the bitch apart. So I had to go up to like West Virginia to a guy who
actually just had one and was friends with Anzio and shoot his. It was suppressed. And this guy,
I don't remember his name, but he had, he was an author. He had written many of the reloading
manuals that I was like, I own your manuals. I was like was like I was like they're on a bookcase at my dad's
house like like he's using this huh Robert oh I wouldn't remember this guy's name at this point
it West Virginia mountain dwelling yeah um scary guy you know how to narrow it down uh older
gunsmith he writes a lot of books yeah yeah that would describe him pretty well. But I shot his 20 prone and my shoulder clicked for two and a half years. Like I've only shot two things that hurt, that actually hurt and kicked hard. And one of them was his 20 shooting it prone because I'm not good at that. And I didn't have my shoulder on it properly. And my shoulder clicked for for two years legitimately when i would like just do
something like this is click click click why'd you do it prone instead of sitting down um i don't he
didn't have a table to put it on like like we're just in his backyard shooting the thing and again
it weighs like 100 and something pounds even even more loaded and with a scope on it and everything
it was something um recoil it could actually come off the table pretty easily and just fall over
it's a ton of recoil too yeah it's i mean it's a it's a gargantuan fucking gun is it for
anti-material stuff like armor piercing it's well it's not meant to be a bolt action rifle it's
something that it's just a guy like it'd be like if one of us was just like hey what if we what
we just made a a gigantic bolt action rifle? What bullet would we put in it?
Well, what a fighter jet shoot.
Let's put that in there.
Fighter jet shoot.
Yeah, that's literally what they made.
Hellfires.
What are you thinking?
It would be registered as a destructive device.
It's a DD.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And then the other thing that I shot that, that actually hurt was, um,
what's Bob's first name? Dangerous. I think dangerous, dangerous, Bob, you know, dangerous,
Bob. I don't know people who run into circles, but I had never met him yet.
Like Iris Sellers and all those guys. Um, that's what they call him. Um, you'll notice he's missing a little bit of one of his fingers
because he blew it off depriming 50 BMG
shells and
his
whenever I'd mess around with him it seemed like
his favorite shit to play with was
explosives and
flamethrowers and
big bore guns that he'd make himself
and I don't remember exactly what he'd done but essentially
what he had done was take like a 20 gauge,
um,
single shot breakdown shotgun and make brass for it.
And then load up big bore rifle shells for that.
So he had like,
I'm making up numbers here because I don't remember the specifics,
but let's just say it was shooting a 900 grain bullet,
1600 feet per second
or something like that and a breakdown shotgun that weighs two and a half four pounds somewhere
in there this light ass fucking you know like like chest like wooden stocked 20 gauge like thing
you'd see in a pawn shop somewhere for a hundred dollars something meant for a quarter of the
recoil a tenth the recoil it kicked tenth of the recoil. It kicked so
fucking hard. Every time I
would shoot it, I was like,
alright, well I can't flinch on camera.
So I have to lean into this motherfucker
and squeeze and just take it.
And it's the equivalent of
telling some big professional
boxer or something to hit you in the chest
as hard as they can. But you
can't flinch or move
you're just gonna be like all right do it while i try to look badass and my shoulder was black and
blue though to my friends this is pretty intense i would lean so far into it like my front knee
would be bent like almost to the ground like like all my weight 95 my weight is on my front
foot my back foot is just just barely touching the ground and it would rock me all the way back
it was awful it was awful to shoot i think i shot it five times what video was that i don't even
know if we used the fucking footage it was it was one of those days where we were in tennessee like
messing with like a bofors gun and a flamethrower and like some M240 Bravos.
We shot like five things in a day.
And yeah, it was the flamethrower video that I did where I like roasted a pig and the pig
had like little pipe bombs tied all over it.
Oh no, that was the mannequin.
They had a mannequin with little pipe bombs all over it.
And then I roasted a pig and pretended to eat some of it.
Yeah.
Wait, you pretended?
Yeah, I didn't cook a pig with napalm
and then eat the napalm.
I just put some ribs that I bought
from a barbecue joint on the back of the pig.
You couldn't tell that?
Fourth wall.
No, fourth wall.
It's fucking gag.
Fourth wall destroyed.
Yeah.
My childhood.
There are people who still believe he's russian so there are absolutely people who
thought that he was pulling meat off of a flamethrower i mean i made it look like i was
we had like a nice delicious rack of ribs attached to the back of that roasted pig
but yeah i wasn't gonna eat pig i had cooked with napalm yeah it's not safe probably going
back to the recoil thing at one point i had, I really only had recoil fuck me up one time.
And it was one of our 50 prototypes for the AK-50.
Had failed.
So, you know, semi-auto guns cycle a lot softer than, you know, just single-shot guns.
It failed, so the bolt seized.
And so it basically was a single-shot rifle.
And I was leaned over.
This was entirely my fault.
I was leaned over really aggressively
because I had the barrel on a nine board and it's just like resting there so all the recoil is going
to my shoulder had no recoil pad or whatever it's had a PRS style buttstock with plastic on the back
lean super forward and it broke my clavicle you can see I still have it in slow motion you can see, I still have it in slow motion. You can see in beautiful iPhone slow motion,
all of the rearward motion.
And like, it broke my clavicle pretty early on.
And all of that you're seeing pushing in
is like past the bone.
Oh, God.
Is it still fucked up?
Those clavicle injuries never heal all the way, right?
I don't know why they don't fix them.
It wasn't fully off.
Like it wasn't a complete fracture.
It was fractured.
It was cracked, so you're okay.
Ah, good.
Yeah.
I see guys with clavicles that they don't put them back.
So here's the bone.
It breaks, and then it heals like a Z, a letter Z.
Yeah, like layer it on top of you.
Look, I broke my leg.
It had a problem.
They put a plate on the
side of it with screws it's like a
internal splint and then you just live with that
forever why don't they do that with
clavicles why do they let them heal like Z's
they don't do that with legs arms
I don't know but I've always
been afraid of that injury
and it's a really easy bone to I've said before
a guy I played hockey with took a check at a really
bad angle and it like
severed it in two, like broken half.
And I remember being in the locker room.
I wasn't playing the game.
And just seeing as he'd move the little bits.
And he was green about to vomit.
We were maybe 15 at the time.
And now you see him with his shirt off.
One shoulder is slightly closer to his center mass than the other.
And if he moves it forward, you can just see just like what he said instead of like this like a straight line
and then a block and then a slightly lower clavicle line like it seems like a lazy ass
surgery we should have that figured out dude fuck that yeah looks awful what if you broke both of
them and you're just all fucked up all t-rex armed it's gonna say my luck they're
gonna go in with like a screw and try to do the plate thing and have one like that's just like a
just a cut hair too long just punch puncture my fucking carotid artery just like oh
neat now i get it that's why you don't do that i should have just dealt with looking a little silly
i guess you didn't even break yours so you don't even look silly you look fine if i were my my
buddy who that happened to i I would have been pissed.
Once that healed, I would have been like, what the fuck, man?
So I'm never going to be the same?
None of my movements are going to be the same?
Muscle memory?
Everything's different?
Why couldn't you just fix it correctly?
I bet if you were a sports, like if you're a pro professional athlete,
maybe they go in and do it, but maybe it's just not necessary for the average person i don't know what if they give you the option
and uh there's a different code difference in co-pay or something and your parents just said
no they just don't do that just like there's no solution for this you look it up my parents were
fucking cheap it's like the family guy where they're like where joe goes in and they're like
well mr swanson we can give you new legs but unfortunately your insurance doesn't cover it
and he's like well what does my insurance cover like well this wheelchair mr swanson
jeez yeah they went on vacation one time and they're like what what's all that luggage you
got joe he's like oh it's that big bag is the machine that makes my large intestines work he's like oh he's such a
dark depressing character he is depressed when you want to feel better about joe you just have
to go back to seinfeld and watch putty and be like and see the positive side of his care did
you ever see the tick same guy when i was little i saw the cartoon the tick but i
never registered that it was the same guy that was before i'd seen seinfeld i don't know if he does
the uh uh the voice of the tick he was in there was a live action oh i've only seen the anime
that is funny is it really well it's a tv show about you know a man dressed in a big blue tick
costume and he's got that like like twink moth boy with him.
It's the same guy that's like,
Oh, I'm...
Yeah, it's David Foddy.
Yeah, that's so funny.
95% Rotten Tomatoes.
Oh, this is on...
This is new.
2016, new-ish.
Oh, maybe they, like, went back and did it again,
because the one I'm talking about is, like, from 99,
I would guess, if I had to guess. Taylor, you should give the tick a try i think you might like it i'll give it
a go oh no it's the old one that has putty in it yeah yeah yeah what are you were saying that
amazon cartoon was pretty good the undefeatables or okay invincible yeah
i am not gonna laugh at a guy for doing a alley-oop look he just got me close that's all
I needed the undefeatables is like the sci-fi original movie version
bad actors and terrible cgi yeah I'm gonna have to check that out I'm out of shit to watch I'm
I'm about to start like re-watching Family Guy or something like that.
I don't have a background TV show to watch right now.
Get The Simpsons.
Do the early seasons of The Simpsons.
No.
I can't do that.
They're funny.
I know they're funny, but I don't know.
I'm just not feeling it.
Fair enough.
Family Guy is what you're going for.
That's a great background TV show.
Family Guy is pretty good.
I did recently watch
and I'd only seen it once before, but the crossover episode
the 45 minute Simpsons Family Guy crossover
that's a pretty good episode. Yeah, when they're like
when Stewie's like, oh he says
eat my shorts. Kind of like what the deuce it's kind of like that and then
brian's like yeah but probably like way way way more popular than that yeah it's like yeah way
more popular like yes like they were like i like the jokes in that where they're like oh i can't
wait to do this again with them and they're like yeah this seems like more of a one-off i don't
think they're gonna give us this again yeah it was very meta it was very meta um they made fun of themselves relentlessly and i kept like having a hard
i know it was a family guy episode but at times it seemed like a obviously it's a crossover but
it was like who's doing the animation is it a team effort i don't know but i like those i mean
they're hokey they're always those little crossover episodes of any they're always so hokey, but you can't look away
because you're like, it is two universes that I do
want to see together.
I like that they kind of made fun of
there was a part where
Bart is like, let me show you my weapons
closet. And he's like, oh, you've got a weapons closet
too. You look and it's
like a slingshot. Like Stewie
has a time machine and machine guns
and shit, like laser rifles and all kinds of nuts yeah and he like looks up to bart wants to hang out with
them yeah yeah and then the the darkest part of course is the interaction between lisa and um
what's the girl meg oh my god we're like at the end when they're parting ways meg is like i really
enjoyed our time together it was so great meeting you.
I cut your name into my arm.
And Lisa's just like, ugh.
Because she's literally carved Lisa into her forearm.
Meg is such a dark character.
Meg is a – well, she's kind of a shitty character too.
She's not that funny.
She's always the butt of the joke.
But there was like – I do like like flashback meta stuff Family Guy does sometimes
where like they flashback
to like season one
when Meg's voice was a different.
It wasn't Mila Kunis yet.
It was someone else.
And they were just like,
oh, everybody looks so weird
in the past.
And it's like,
why does Meg's voice sound different?
It's like, oh, someone else.
Oh, it seems like she's about
to pass up an incredible opportunity.
Yeah.
I bet those royalty checks are pretty nice.
Mia Kunis?
Is that how you say her last name?
Yeah.
She kept doing that part even when she seemed like a pretty big star.
Right?
She was like the it girl of Hollywood for a year or two.
She was doing well.
Yeah.
Starring aside Justinin timberlake and
and that terrible terrible movie who was a bigger female star like that year i don't know i could
name like 10 but but like like i mean look she was doing well she's probably getting paid a
couple million dollars to do things but but like family guys the bread and butter she's an awful
awful actress that's true like. Like real, real bad.
Like bottom 10%.
Like not acceptable levels of acting.
I didn't notice her acting.
So therefore, it was good enough for me.
Yeah, like Jupiter Ascending.
Like a movie like that.
That sci-fi movie she did.
Terrible.
I've never seen that.
That is a dog of a film film i only notice acting every once in
a while it's it's the main thing i look for um you know like you're gonna have to like i don't
know do your job yeah i i i notice if you don't um but yeah i mean look i like her super cute i
think she's still with ashton Kutcher. So, yeah.
You know, they originally hooked up when she was underage on a 70s show, obviously.
Who's the one with Timberlake?
Alba, maybe?
Jessica Alba?
I don't want to keep up with that E! Entertainment stuff too much.
But maybe, maybe.
I know he got one of the prime girls.
I don't know why he would settle for for something like that like leonardo dicaprio has that shit figured out and tom he gets a 25 he just ditches
him uh that's um that's tom cruise that does the whole like as soon as they turn 30 he's like
getting a new one but he seems to like want these like solid, like longterm relationships, longterm being until they're rotten.
Um,
but 25,
but yeah,
25.
But DiCaprio is like,
I'll tell you this.
DiCaprio puts his tender slider on 18 for sure.
It's 18 to 25 and his profile says,
who wants to go on my fucking yacht?
Like,
like it's,
it,
that's all I ever see him doing in his spare time.
He's like, he's time he's like he's not
working so he's not on any kind of a diet he's just like bloated bearded on a fucking yacht
with like eight beautiful like amateur runway models or some shit fat and happy who's that
trade-in value see he makes sure he gets out early while they're still worth something
and then goes for the new model very true yeah he's treating them like cars uh typically married jessica beal by
the way that's the one okay and uh he was in seventh heaven with that guy who ended up being
a pedophile oh yeah remember the dad from seventh Maybe he, I don't remember what he did,
but it was something, child porn or pedophilia.
Oh, yes.
I don't know, he admitted to having sexual relations with a minor
on a couple different occasions.
No, see, that's the guy whose wife set him up
in their therapy session.
Look.
What?
Can you tell the story?
I know the skeleton of the story.
They were having therapy sessions,
and his wife secretly recorded him talking about some pedophilia stuff.
Like,
like some fantasy he had or something he had done one or the other.
And like,
on one hand it's like,
glad we found out that pedophile.
And on the other,
it's like,
wow,
she is not the partner that you can trust.
That is, um, that's some shit that wings redemption's
wife would do to him like fucking set up a recording in the fucking therapy session
and fucking fucking like like he's he's just like well yeah of course i cheat on my taxes you know
i'm you know i work online there's a lot of numbers floating around i cheat i'll admit it
but i'm not cheating on her and then she like uploads that yeah i mean or maybe she knew
he was a pedophile for a long time and this was the big break i mean i think she knew it wasn't
like news to her but the thing was that like his wife is recording him and then like uploading it
or using it against him probably as some sort of divorce leverage
or something like that heaven money for herself once he's in jail yeah and now when i watch that
office episode where he plays andy bernard's father i'm just like oh this guy was a real star
for a long time like he was getting a lot of work and then then that happened and i he might be in
prison right now yeah he's in jail i think yikes he's uh he was he's dennis and d's father
real father and it's always sunny that's right that's right he won't be showing back up again
yeah no they're gonna have to recast dennis and d well he hasn't needed to show back up in a long
time is that show over by the way is it's always sunny done i feel like i've never seen an episode
of that in fucking forever no i think they got extended for some period of time um like like like you know
multiple seasons more about but i agree with you it seems like it's been a while since there has
been new episodes it's probably because i just burned through them so quick and i'm like come on
do more do more sunny yeah that whole like when a whole season of something comes out all at once
it's a real double-edged sword on one hand yeah i get to watch i could eat all the candy at once. It's a real double-edged sword. On one hand, yeah, I get to watch I get to eat all the candy at once, but on the other
it's like,
well, we burnt up a year's worth of content
in six hours.
Rick and Morty is that for me.
That show comes out every two years
and I don't know.
It seems like I watch it,
it takes a couple of weeks, and then it's over
for so long. Yeah, the average is two years, but they fixed that now with their new contract.
That's good.
When did the last one come out?
Hasn't it been two years?
Am I crazy?
No, I don't think so.
I don't know exactly when, but I know that they have a queue going now.
The current season is almost done and is releasing like in a month or something like that
and then like the the season after that is be has already been recorded and like they're finishing
animation on next year's season now and then the season after that is like being written
yeah the new season comes out june 20th of this year yeah they've got a whole production line
going because of the new uh contract they got because they got like a multi-year, multi-million dollar big deal contract.
See, I'd kind of rather them take their time with it, though.
Because like, it would not end up like that other show that you were talking about, Taylor.
Because it's like, if you got to take your time, you got to take your time.
Because honestly, I kind of forget Rick and Morty exists, but until a new season's ready to drop,
I'm like,
Oh,
okay,
cool.
I forget.
I like this,
but if you rush it and we just get like an entire season full of intergalactic
television,
I'm going to stop watching.
You didn't like the,
uh,
uh,
like the improv intergalactic TV episode.
I,
to me,
it was like certain,
certain bits were really funny. Like when they do the improv only episodes, me it was like certain certain bits were really funny like when they
do the improv only episodes but it's like part of it just seems like improv comedy masturbation
where they're like oh see this is funny because we like we thought about it on the fly i'm like
no this is a fucking tv show dude like you don't have to do that you get to strip this
maybe i'm remembering i i think think I remember in that first episode
they did the interdimensional TV a lot.
They may have done it twice even.
They've done it twice and then they've done
a different spin on it which was Morty's Mind Blowers
or whatever where they had the memory thing.
I didn't mind that as much.
I thought that was better.
I like that a lot.
Still a good show.
They're doing some weird stuff with Beth now which I don't get.
But who cares. What are they doing with beth it's like she's just not even vaguely the same character she was in season one like which one she's like she's the wife she's the wife yeah
she's gone from like mother concerned about her family and her you know erratic father to like
secret alien clone or something like that which
i don't know she didn't really seem in line with well it turned out that she is her father's
daughter and that she was a sociopath as a child and like a tinkerer herself and uh and that her
life kind of got sidetracked she'd probably been some sort of space faring like scientist like him
but she got knocked up by that loser of a fucking husband of
her that chris purnell character um but i kind of like the like froopy land or whatever they went to
where like yeah yeah where she had left her friend in there and he'd been fucking the the animals
and then like eating his eating his animal fuckery children,
like,
like,
and just carrying that cycle on for what must have been 25 years,
30 years or something like that.
And he was just disgusting that I liked that episode.
And you feel bad for him because they just leave them in there to live.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Just leave him in there.
And then they create that clone and just,
just give it to his,
his mom. and she's and the clone's retarded because it's literally moments old and this isn't magic
it's science so it's just a moment's old entity who looks like her son you know so yeah that was
a dark episode i liked it though i like when she like reached in the box and pulled out all the
toys that she had he's like these are some of the toys you had me make when you were eight.
Here's a switchblade, an Ascension switchblade.
And he goes, hey there, Beth.
Is it time for stabbing?
Here's some handcuffs that won't let anybody not be your friend.
Everything has this dark backstory that she's got.
Yeah, it's good.
But Rick did build all of it.
Rick did build it, yeah.
They're equally evil.
I got a topic. What popular
movie does not deserve its popularity?
I mean, Avatar is the easy answer,
but let's move past that.
Yeah, yeah.
That's a good start.
I wouldn't have thought of that one
Star Wars
but I think Star Wars earned its
popularity by being so revolutionary
at the time so I don't like that answer either
anything John Wick after the first one
I think those
Phil they're fucking they're doing
exactly what people want like
I like that Paul Verhoeven
era in the 80s where you had movies
like Robocop where it's just like shoot them up, fucking violent for the sake of violence, and just let's go and kill some bad guys and have blood fly everywhere.
Well, like I said earlier, I'm not crazy, crazy about the universe, the John Wick universe that they're clearly creating, but I'm on board.
I still like it. I don't think they're like mega popular but like nobody's being duped everybody
who likes those movies know what they're signing up for you know yeah there's an unpopular one
maybe is uh napoleon dynamite i can't get behind those movies and i know i'm probably gonna get
crucified for that there's only the one right oh yeah the one yeah. The one movie, but it's so fucking dry.
I could go through that entire movie without cracking a smile.
I haven't seen it.
It came out when I was in eighth grade,
and I remember watching it three or four times that year
and thinking it was just the funniest thing in the world
because it was hugely popular with people my age,
like 14 years old in eighth grade.
I haven't seen it since, and so you're probably right. if i were to pop it back on i'd be like oh this sucks where's
that funny scene where the uncle's like i used to be able to throw a pigskin clear over them mountains
uncle remo yeah uncle remo i think and he is he's the best character um he's just like he's making
an audition tape out by his van that he lives in
where he's falling back in the pocket and scrambling like a quarterback would,
but he's by himself in a field.
And it's an NFL audition tape.
He's sending this to the Chargers or some shit.
And there's this part where he's just completely slipped
into a bit of a nostalgic delusion. And he's just like,
if that coach had put me in, I'd have made pro out of made pro. No doubt,
no doubt in my mind. And he like looks at the mountains in the distance.
He's like, I bet I could throw a pigskin over them mountains.
It's just like, he's so delusional about his football acumen.
It's that and the Rex Kondo guy are the funniest parts to me,
where they go to the Taekwondo school.
I can't recall that actor's name, but he's a great character actor,
and he's wearing the American flag parachute pants and the wife beater
and maybe a do-rag or something.
He's just like, proud of your sensei, proud of your sensei.
He gets Kip up there,
like Napoleon's even nerdier somehow brother,
and is doing the moves on him and stuff.
I don't love that movie.
To me, it's kind of...
I don't know.
I get kind of grossed out
by just watching it for a while.
It's kind of weird.
I think it's a good pick.
People love it so much. I can kind of weird I think it's a good pick people love it so much
and I'm just like
I can kind of get pieces of it but by
and large that was a stupid movie
with bad humor
it was overrated for sure
I think it's overrated
it's funny you're talking about
the Uncle Remo or whatever
those parts were funny but
every time I remember even watching it like when
Napoleon was on screen especially talking to that
girl I was just like this just makes
me sad and like I feel
like this is a hopeless existence
for everyone involved so basically
our audience maybe
maybe they'll empathize with it
yeah it's it's an overrated
one this is this won't be on the list at all
I'm just thinking like if personally I watched that you remember that movie gone girl with ben affleck yes i watched
that and i'm admittedly biased because i i think ben affleck is a trash actor i think he's shit
and i don't like most stuff that he's in and i remember it was just all rave reviews everybody
was talking about how great gone girl was. And it's like three hours long.
And it is a great example of a movie that is just beating off the entire time about like, oh, we're building.
We're, oh, we're building.
Yeah, we're edging this movie out because we got 40 minutes of story and three hours of film.
And it's like just terrible.
My grandparents were like, oh, there's this new movie called gone girl and
it's set in cape girarda which is like it not near where they live they're further south than that
but they're like oh neat you know a movie made based in missouri very rare and then all of us
hated it all of us except for my mom my mom thought it was good but everybody else was like
this this is shit this is horrible uh and ben affleck is the absolute worst. I can't tell.
I thought it was just an okay movie.
I thought it was worth the watch.
I often get it confused with Gone Baby Gone because that has Casey Affleck in it.
Which one is the one with the female boxer?
Oh my God, that's neither of these movies.
I think that's Million Dollar Baby.
That's Million Dollar Baby.
Did you also get
confused about Three Men and a Baby?
You're thinking like, yeah, we're Tom Selleck
as the little kid.
You know, Boss Baby
with the little animated, yeah, I know that movie.
Yeah, like anything with babies.
You're getting confused.
No, alright, so
Gone Baby Gone is about a little kid being kidnapped,
and Casey Affleck is a private eye hired to find her.
Gone Girl is where it's sort of a ripped from the headlines kind of movie
where Ben Affleck's wife –
spoilers if you haven't seen the movie, and you should see it because it's good,
so skip this part if you haven't seen the movie and you should see it because it's good so skip this part if you haven't seen it ben affleck's wife makes her own kidnapping and
essentially frames him for it and the media is turning on him and there's this media machine
that's making him look like he is a douche but it's making him look like a murderer and there's
a difference between douchebag and murderer and uh and there's a big twist at the ending and it's it's it's sort of a thriller um
and ben affleck terrible job the whole time
i don't remember his acting performance sticking out to me as is really shitty or really good
maybe just passable which is his general kind of like work ethic to me um he's been good he was
better when he was younger i felt like as he's gotten
older i feel like he phones it in a lot but like i liked the ben affleck that was in the kevin
smith movies um the one who was in like um like dog or something dog dogma mall rats stuff like
that i like these views where he was like beating the shit out of a bunch of little kids that was
really cool ben affleck was in that i didn? The paddle. There was like drilling holes in the
paddle like, I'm going to get you after
school. That was Ben Affleck?
I believe so. I could be retarded.
I am definitely retarded. I just don't
remember. I'm not sure. I've never seen Days of Confused.
Really?
That movie's
really good. There's a few that I skip on purpose.
It looks like a high quality film.
It's got, you know, the cover where the four people are poking their head in and silly faces.
We have the chick from Resident Evil before she was in anything.
You have Ben.
You have Jovovich?
Yeah, yeah.
She's one of the main characters.
You have a bunch of people before they got famous.
It was really kind of interesting.
Oh, yeah.
This is the movie where McConaughey's like, you know what what i like about high school girls they keep getting older and they stay the
same age and he says that yeah he's like no he is he's in it yeah i'm on the imdb i can't find his
name am i probably buried he was like he was a little bit part yeah he wasn't a big part because
it was a 93 movie uh mcconaughey was a bigger part
yeah i don't remember whether or not i like that movie you spoke you'd be a lot cooler if you did
you smoke you'd be cooler if you did yeah no no it's good that's dale gribble
now dale gribble's up here mad at Hank for hiding the truth from Bobby.
Dale, if you don't stop talking to my son about the Unabomber,
I'm going to call the police.
Now, boy, I know it's fun getting sucked and fucked by a Dyson vacuum cleaner.
That's pretty good, too.
We've all done it, Bobby.
We've all fucked the Dyson. It's true. Even I. We've all done it, Bobby. We've all fucked the Dyson.
It's true.
Even I've borrowed it and used it.
Yeah, King of the Hill, another great background show.
Yeah.
I've seen it so many times, though.
I've seen it too much.
I loved that when it came out.
Even my dad loved that.
My dad was like, you know, it's kind of like like like this this cartoon is kind of like small town america and like it is it is
like like peggy's my favorite character though really yeah yeah i think the most i think that
she is the most depth to her character really like like like she's got all those like she's for one thing like she thinks so much of herself
and it's all delusional right she thinks she can speak spanish she can't she's so proud of being
like substitute teacher of the year two years running or whatever the fuck and it's just like
yeah like like you're a substitute teacher like like they let let anybody do that who isn't a pedophile or a felon.
They'll let anybody do that, just about.
Except for me.
And then she's got the foot thing.
You were about to make a Woody's a pedo joke.
I absolutely was not.
I love your blazer, by the way.
Oh, you've been out blazered, friend.
You're not even wearing it.
I said this before the show.
I minor at the tailor.
I've got two or three more that are being worked on.
And I was supposed to pick them up last week, but I keep forgetting to go get them.
So I'll have a fresh blazer for next week.
This is the blazer.
I've told the story before.
I went to New York City.
I had to appear on stage.
Everybody else was so cool.
There was mostly music people.
I was like one of one or two gamers there.
And they were like Justin Bieber wannabes.
And it's hard to describe without being up close to these 19-year-old future stars.
Just everything about them was like,
they're the coolest, most put-together kids in your high school
from all the different guys gathered together.
And I'm there with plaid cargo shorts,
dressed like a dad about to mow the lawn.
And I felt terrible.
And afterwards, we went to a store.
We bought an outfit for events
like this. And this was the blazer.
That's why I have it.
See, I can't pull off the blazer with t-shirt
thing because everybody's like, oh, get it. The weapons
thing. You're trying to be Tony Stark. I'm like, no.
No, that's not.
I don't even think I have a blazer that fits me.
Oh.
I might though. I don't know. Like I've said before, I have a blazer that fits me. Oh. I might, though. I don't know.
Like I've said before, I have the blazers of three men because of my weight fluctuation.
Yeah.
Well, I mean, it's going to be pretty soon.
It's going to be time to get a tuxedo fitted in and kitted.
Very true.
Very true.
Have you looked at them yet?
Like, what kind of style you're going for?
I'm guessing top hat and cane.
Yes, top hat and cane yes top hat and cane
uh we're we're actually going full bore into the uh dumb and dumber bit you know i'll be wearing
the orange and and she's the blue be wearing the blue oh i thought you'd get like orange and then
she'll be the blue i can't fucking with us right now are you doing like multiple best men or is uh
is um just one brother getting the calling?
No, I didn't want to do a big thing. And so like, I'm not doing anybody other than just my brothers.
Like they're both going to share it. Like no, no friends in that. Like the wedding itself,
very, very, very small, just immediate family. Um, and so like I got, and we were like looking
at like styles and stuff. I'm not even going to do a talks. I'm going to do some kind of like
nice looking suit. Cause that ends up matching better matching better and i got i got fitted for it and everything
i don't remember my measurements uh but i was i was too big for all the sample jackets oh my
and so that's not ideal i mean my belly fit in them but my shoulders and arms didn't fit in them
very well yeah um and so hopefully i'll be looking good because like i don't want to i'm really banking on the
suit to do a lot of heavy lifting and like making you know because the suit does make you look a lot
better everybody looks better in a suit i never wear a suit maybe i'll be surprised at how wonderful
i look probably not but uh i think so yeah i'm getting excited for it i'm a lot of it is uh
like i part like planning and like me pretending like i'm planning it my fiancee's
doing all the fucking planning it's like oh i bet she loves it though right yeah some of it
and some of it she's also like anxious about but i think she enjoys it uh like my decisions i was
like the only thing i'm like like adamant about is like the food like i want you know because
usually you go to a wedding and it's like they give you options of like a beef or chicken or whatever the hell it is but it's like they do that thing where
they take a meal that would be great if it was a 35 meal at a restaurant and they cut all the edges
and they simplify and now it's an 18 version of something that would be good in a fucking you know
real restaurant and so you don't get the full bang and And I was like, no, I'm going to, I want to spend like whole money to have like the best barbecue available in
St. Louis.
Like a huge amount of that brought all the different cuts,
all the different things.
Everybody's, you know,
I hate when I go to weddings and I get some bullshit chicken dish.
I want, I want enormous amounts of options.
And so the barbecue thing, I was very, very adamant about it.
I don't even need an invite.
If I could just like pay to get a plate of that shit.
We will be selling plates outside.
Somebody's got to pay for the open bar.
Yeah, that's me.
Do you know what kind of cake you're going for?
Because like that's, I don't know.
I'm interested for some reason. And if there is a wedding cake and if so, what kind of cake you're going for? Because like that's what that's what's I don't know. I'm interested for some reason.
And if there is a wedding cake and if so, what kind of cake it is?
I don't like sweets.
And so I didn't care if we had a cake or not.
And she isn't a big cake fan at all.
And so she was like, but something that would be fun.
I like donuts a lot.
We're going to have like a whole bar full of fucking donuts and cookies and things that you can have.
And so she wanted to do that instead.
And because I won't eat any donuts or cookies anyway, I'll be eating the barbecue.
Didn't really care.
So that works for me.
I just want to get it.
I kind of want to get it done.
Like I kind of I want to like I want it the way I want to do it is like the actual wedding.
Because, you know, any of my friends, I know some of my friends listen.
If you've invited me to your weddings, I had a wonderful time.
I'm not talking about you, but I hate going to fucking weddings.
And you sit there and it's just a waste of fucking time and they ran might even say that you've never been to a wedding
that was worth a fuck never not once except for yours the listener yeah yeah but um i i don't
like going to the weddings like and sitting in the crowd and and watching the whole thing and
it takes a long time and you're hot and you just want to eat.
And so I was like,
no,
like only the people who actually give a fuck are going like just my
immediate family.
Even like I'm having to lay down the law in some other places where it's
like family members,
like cousins,
like,
can I,
can I just maybe,
no,
no,
you can show up at the party,
the reception with everybody.
We're keeping this very tight,
very, very intimate. That's how we both want it. And that's how we decided, like not,
not doing like the speeches and everything, not doing like the big, like toasts where everybody's
kind of waiting to like, cause you know, that, that vibe at a wedding where like it's after the
service and things are happening, you're eating, but you don't really know when it's appropriate
for you to get up and mingle and do things because you feel as though there's some sort
of schedule that you should be abiding by. I don't want that. I want their
minimized schedule. Everybody eat at your, at your leisure, get up, hang out outside. We got
a really good venue that has a bunch of space outside and inside. It's really nice. And I just
want people to hang out and it's be very social and, and, uh, and casual. I love parties, but
like, and I've always been like this. I don't like parties for me.
I prefer to go to a party for someone else because I feel like, I don't know.
I don't even know if I can articulate it.
Is it the center of attention?
I know that's not it because I love being the center of attention.
So I know that's not the case.
And so I don't actually know what it is. It's just like when I – maybe I feel guilty about it
because I know there are going to be people there
who don't really want to be there and who feel pressured maybe.
But I guess that's something I just need to put out of mind.
If someone can't make it for any reason or doesn't want to go,
I don't give a shit either way.
But yeah, I'm really excited to get it going, finalize this thing,
and then move on with life afterward.
Finalize this thing. You make it sound like a car purchase yeah finalized like i know he's converting a lease
lease to purchase agreement exactly wow sir just just tell me where the fuck the sign
that's that's what i would have done i would have gone straight to the the courthouse just
fucking done it but no woman on earth wants to do that.
You know whose wedding was a little...
Joe Lozon's wedding was wonderful.
It was a classy affair and there were some really great moments.
Some real classy affairs.
Bert showed up.
I liked it a lot.
Joe's brother Dan is there.
Dan is also a professional fighter, but he's not tamed like Joe and his friends.
Joe and his friends are only professional fighters while fighting.
They are also regular people.
Joe's brother is a pit bull.
A pit bull who likes me, but I just worry if I look him in the eyes too long, he's going to fucking kill me.
And he's hurt me before.
He's hurt me before.
This isn't a
hypothetical i had a fucking it's like a baseball size i'm rolling with him and i'm like bro just
don't break me don't break your toys and he's like i got you woody yeah he fucking got me right
about here right about here he got me swolled up like a baseball softball fucking soccer ball
coming out of the sock of my head and what did he do? Punch you? Elbowed me
in the head. Came out looking like
Hey Arnold. Dude, and it wasn't like an
accidental elbow, I don't believe.
He was just like
getting position and it was
like put his elbow on
the mat and my head
and it was just like with
authority established this position
that left me bruised and hematoma'd and now I'm at the wedding with this man and I was just like with authority established this position that left me bruised and
hematoma and now i'm at the wedding with this man and i'm just like yeah yeah like all your jokes
are funny and i'm pretty intimidated and you're drinking woody i'm really glad after
all this time that you're not bitter still i don't know how many drinks any had, but I knew that I was in a dangerous situation.
You're counting his drinks.
Oh, you can't count that man's drinks.
You can't count that man's drinks.
And oh, beer.
You're adorable, Taylor.
He goes hard in the paint.
Yeah, he was.
I'm telling you one false move and there's another hematoma coming my way.
So, yeah, that's one of the things that stuck out about Joe's wedding to me.
He's a likes-to-fight guy.
Like, that's a Jim Rome reference that I don't think anybody gets but me.
But he's a likes-to-fight guy. Like, if you're out somewhere and, like – you remember there was that video a few years ago of –
there was an MMA fighter in a bar and this guy comes in like looking for trouble.
Like it's actually a restaurant and he's just like he's actively looking for a fight.
This guy, he's drunk or something.
He's just like, come on, come at me, bro.
Like he's just causing and the MMA fighter finally just very calmly like takes him to the ground and he's like choking him unconscious.
And he's looking up from the guy's choking.
He's like,
it's okay,
everyone just,
just stay calm.
This will be,
this will all be over.
Like he's so calm about how he's choking this guy unconscious.
And his friends are all like,
like,
like it's like they just left the jujitsu gym or something like that.
His friends are like,
just give him a little room.
It'll all be over soon.
Like it's fine.
And sure enough,
he just chokes the guy the fuck out and they just drag him out outside out of
the place.
But the guy was just cruising for a bruising and,
and he ran into the person who could have murdered him with their bare hands.
But the guy was kind enough to just put him to sleep,
take him outside and let the police handle him.
That is not what Joe's brother would have done.
Joe's brother would have like found the most violent
way to hurt this man there would have been broken bones it had been broken bones i feel like he
loves the sound of another man's bones breaking undoubtedly yeah he's likes to fight and he's
hurt it yeah and he's bit like it's not a hypothetical he fights all the time you know like i don't know
he's probably uh settled down now he's he's not 23 years old anymore but dude yeah i don't know
i felt like i was in danger i felt like i was in danger of joe's wedding i don't even know if we
should talk about the incident he had but he had this incident where he was defending himself
against two or three men and they did not end up well afterwards he defended the fuck out of all
of them he defended himself so hard his self-defense against three attackers we'll call them
was so extreme that there was hospitalization and maybe some law enforcement or lawsuits going on
because there were crippled men like i don't remember the specifics but it was like one of
them all of them were unable to walk away afterwards and for varying reasons some of
them had broken bones and some of them were just knocked the fuck out and it was it was bad it was
it was like yeah he he defended himself pretty good.
You have to roll with this.
Something about his bone structure that just seems more Neanderthal or something.
Like his knuckles are oversized hitting machines and his elbows and his fucking deltoids and everything with him is just a little rough.
Like, I don't know.
He's a pit bull and i'm a yellow lab
what are we doing here yeah he shouldn't be allowed at the park
honestly it's just him being a mean kind of guy if we're being fair because like
we went to that gym in chicago that time that jujitsu gym and like you know it was me you and
joe and uh and it's like all right we're all gonna pair off with students here and roll and i'm just gym in Chicago that time, that jujitsu gym. And like, you know, it was me, you and Joe. And, uh,
and it's like, all right, we're all going to pair off with students here and roll. And I'm just like
me, me too. All right. Well, I'll, I'm sure I'll pair off with Joe or, or Woody because they know
I have no idea what I'm doing here. No, no, you're with, you're with John over here. And
me and John are like rolling and I'm a bottom and like, I don't know what I'm doing. I'm just like,
well, I'll resist whatever
you're trying to do to me after a while he's like so how long um how long you been uh you know doing
jits and I'm just like this is the first time I've ever had anything to do with a mat or jujitsu or
or really anything where another man is on top of me like you are right now he's like
this is only my second time in Chicagoago yeah i think it was i was
like this is my second time in the city um like i have no idea what's happening at any point of
what's going on here he's like oh you should have said something i was like i didn't know what to
say please don't hurt me was that a challenge are you mocking me yeah like oh you don't think i can
no i know you can please don't completely misread me sir but not but but even that guy was like
super chill about it like he didn't hurt me at all like like i didn't have a bruise a scuff
like a scrape or anything meanwhile joe's brother like seriously injured woody in a way that like
like woody is even down i'm sure woody like was like in in a way that like, like Woody is even down.
I'm sure Woody,
like was like in the hotel room that night thinking like,
God,
how do I avoid this happening again tomorrow?
Like,
I don't want to complete,
you don't want to bitch out,
but at the same time,
like,
like how do you tell someone that you've hurt me?
Please don't do it more.
You can tell when his hat doesn't fit.
It's sitting off to the side.
He's got a little yellow stress card.
He's like, no.
Woody's got like ace bandage wrapped around his head
like a Civil War soldier.
He's got that like under his chin
and over his head like a cartoon character.
He has a bloody bandana.
That's great.
Maybe I had PTSD at Joe's wedding.
Maybe that's the issue.
What were you saying, Brandon?
Oh, I recently went on that.
It was a hog hunt in Florida.
And one of the guys who was on the hunt was Chuck Liddell.
Oh, man.
We stayed up drinking one night with Chuck.
Because actually, he's a really cool dude.
Really like down to earth.
Like just super typical dad.
Which is almost kind of weird.
Because it doesn't fit the idea of what you have
this person.
But at one point he goes to demonstrate,
he's talking about like this guy who got, you know,
it is big, big, real gruff guy.
So anyway, that's all is up.
Gave him a liver kick.
I'm like, I'm, I, I followed a little bit of MMA stuff.
I'm not super into it or anything,
but like I'll watch the big fights and they come up,
I'll go to a friend's house or something.
But I'm like,
I didn't quite process the difference.
I'm like,
what makes that that much worse than a body body hit?
I like,
I kind of get the premise,
but I'm like,
I don't really get why that's debilitating.
He's like,
come here,
come here,
I'll show you.
Oh no.
And he goes,
all right,
so I'm not,
I'm not going to urge him.
I'm not going to urge him.
That always follows by getting hurt.
And just like,
just doesn't't normal hit.
I'm like, I don't know, maybe like 20%.
And I'm like, okay.
I'm like, the whole time I'm thinking, flex your abs.
Don't look like a bitch in front of Chuck.
He hits me.
I'm like, okay, not bad.
All right, I can take that.
It hurts.
It stings.
But all right, fine.
All right, all right, all right.
Now I'll lever hit.
Boom, hits me in what i feel like is the same
spot from a different angle and it's like real men don't cry real men don't cry oh my liver
they hit me in the liver it's the hardest
morty they're fucking on my liver real bad i don't know if I'm drinking my way I used to.
It's the hardest working liver in the galaxy, Morty.
Hardest working liver in the galaxy, Morty.
I mean, it might be good for you to slow down a bit, Rick.
Jesus Christ.
So you just felt peer pressured a little bit into letting him experiment with the liver hits?
Oh, no, I was drunk.
liver hit. Oh no, I was drunk.
You ever see that clip of...
There's a clip from Pancreas where
Boss Rutten ruptures
a man's liver.
And it is
awesome. Pancreas, you
had to use open palm strikes.
But everybody is kind of hitting with the bony
part of their wrist for the most part.
I guess the idea was we do some of these.
But everybody's like
doing these and uh and he ruptures a man's liver like he already dropped him once with the liver
strike and the guy gets back up and he hits him again and like i guess i don't i i feel like i
feel like you guys aren't reacting strongly enough to when i said you ruptured a man's liver with his hand well
i recall correctly this is what happened bass rootin kicked the guy in like the inner thigh
he told the ref that it was a nut shot oh yeah and bass rootin took offense to this he's like
i did not hit that guy in the balls but i've decided he needs to pay and there was like a
mismatch in their skill levels.
So he's like, the most painful way to defeat a man is via liver hits.
So I'm just going to keep hitting him in the liver until he quits.
And yeah, he just repeatedly, he was kind of known for being able to get those liver shots.
And he just liver shot the fuck out of this guy.
And he went down, got back up, tried again again hit him in the injured liver maybe more than once
and it's
fun to be a viewer
of such a fight
that's such an important organ
it's a big one too
how's a liver different than a kidney
your liver is your
largest internal
you've only got one of them
what do they do
they filter everything out no am I crazy Your liver is your largest internal. You've only got one of them. Okay. What do they do? What can make a difference?
They filter everything out.
Well, they both do that.
No?
Am I crazy?
Yeah, they both do that, but in varying ways.
I don't know the difference.
I'm so glad I'm not alone.
I thought everyone knew the difference, and I was a fool for not knowing the difference.
Well, it seems like kidneys are primarily like uh getting like it's like the last
line of defense right with some filtration like like like with with mostly with liquids whereas
the the liver is like catching all the toxins it seems like but i don't know anything about this
shit i just know that apparently it's full of nerve endings and getting hit there is just
an incapacitating kind of blow. Brain is not a fan. Apparently not.
No, no.
Been there, done that.
Yelp review, two out of ten.
Suggested to a friend.
All right.
Your liver, a fact I obviously already knew,
is the only internal organ that can regrow.
Do you know that?
Yeah, yeah.
When you get a liver transplant,
you just need a little bit of someone's liver.
And it grows into a whole liver.
That's really cool.
That's very neat.
Like a lizard.
More about internal organs.
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I've been trying the gum out.
I like it.
I do like the cinnamon gum.
I've got the lot.
I've got everything that they make. Obviously I like the most of the gum out. I like it. I do like the cinnamon gum. I've got the lot. I've got everything that they make, obviously.
I like the gum most of the three options they gave out.
I've got the pouches and the lozenges.
I think I like the lozenges as much as the gum.
The pouches are too strong for me personally,
but I like the flavor of the lozenge,
and I like cinnamon gum anyway
so um i'm giving these the pouch really can't see because my green screen i'm giving the pouches to
my grandpa because he's been a long time dip user and he is tired of it yeah my uh i'm gonna i'm
gonna take a some of the um lozenges to my cousin next time i see him because he he quit smoking a
couple years ago um but he switched to dipping which you it's better, but it's still not great.
He needs to get away from the tobacco stuff.
The nicotine's going to be fine for him.
I'm not a doctor.
Don't take that as medical advice.
I've been chewing the gum whenever I'm around people, and I don't want to look like a douchebag with a vape.
I do like it, and it fucking scratches the itch. whenever I'm around people and I don't want to look like a douchebag, um, with a vape. Um,
and,
uh,
and,
uh,
and I do like it and it,
it fucking scratches the itch.
So
has not been a big smoker in the past.
Could I use this product to start smoking?
Yeah.
Yeah.
If,
if,
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You want a healthy alternative.
You just grab yourself some Lucy gum or some Lucy pouches and enjoy that.
Yeah, I think you'll find that you never want a cigarette because the Lucy is just so satisfying.
I'm looking for a gateway drug because I can't help you there.
I'm sorry.
We cannot talk about gateway drugs.
It's not a gateway drug.
Stop saying that.
It's a gateway to Alabama in prison.
Marijuana is a gateway drug.
It'll get you right into an Alabama prison.
Yeah. Do you remember how big
the anti-smoking stuff was
in the 90s and the early 2000s?
Where every single cartoon
show, no matter what it was,
it would find a way to shoehorn in
some character smoking
and then everyone in
the recessed schoolyard would be like,
Ew! Randall's smoking! What a fucking loser! whatever would be like, Ooh, Randall's smoking.
What a fucking loser.
I'm never going to smoke.
Cause Randall's a snitch and he sucks.
And he's always telling the teacher when we're trying to,
you know,
do recess schools out things.
So let's see if they were here about that anymore.
If they were smarter,
they would have made like the total nerds smoke.
Like the,
the people know not the cool kids.
Like,
Hey,
you don't want to be cool like this guy.
It's just, hey, guys.
What's going on with a cigarette? Like, oh, fuck.
I don't want to be that guy.
Did it work? Taylor, do you think
of the old anti-smoking ads
and movement to reduce smoking?
I think it was. I don't know if it actually reduced
statistically smoking, but I think that they
did the same thing they did in D.A.R.E.
Whereas in middle school D.A.R.E. or high school D.A.R.E., whatever it was, I I think that they did the same thing they did in dare. Whereas like in middle school dare or high school dare,
whatever it was,
I remember like they hammered home the weed stuff so hard that it became
like an unbelievable thing because it'd be like,
wait,
I don't,
you know,
I didn't smoke weed in high school.
And I was like,
I know people on my hockey team that smoke weed.
I know people at school who smoke weed and this,
but you're saying they're going to like hurt each other.
They're going to like, they're going to be harmed.
They're going to die. They get like
weed laced with cocaine
and heroin was a common
problem. Exactly. That's a
perfect way to put it. They'd be like, and you never know what's
in there. Lots of drug dealers like to
lace less expensive drugs with
more expensive drugs. And it's like
why would you do this
where yeah in a new problem they're putting pieces of gold in
you've missed the plot and so like that's like i thought of it like that like that
just getting hammered in the head and i'm sure kyle's the same
brandon it was so over the top
there's no way people are dying of heroin overdoses by smoking weed that just and that
and that made me think like this isn't even it made me go too far for a while where it's like
this isn't even a drug this isn't even anything they're just trying to spook us
yeah you're like nancy reagan's a lying bitch you whore yeah she is a lying bitch. You whore.
She is a lying bitch.
She's not telling us that her husband can't remember where his fucking slippers are.
She's the one running the fucking free world
for like three years.
That's like the second time that happened too.
Who was that other president?
Joseph Biden, I believe.
Okay, third time this has happened.
No, it was still the second one
because Biden was the third. His husband uh dick cheney was running the the
world for a while who are you thinking of taylor is it a real old one or a recent one it was a
real old one like they could get away with that oh was it fdr i think fdr maybe you're right fdr
was having a hard time there at the very end yeah eleanor ran the country for a bit. That's what I'm thinking. Oh, I have heard that. Yeah. And hey, it worked out.
Yeah, we got Social
Security and all sorts of great
stuff. And we won World War II.
We got, I don't know, that was
1913, the Fed, right?
That was the real bad thing. I would love it
if it actually came to be that bombing
the Japanese was
Eleanor.
Well, he already died by then, so it uh oh shit yeah never mind i've just truman yeah it was the american country
that's awesome yeah um that was all truman fdr probably wouldn't have dropped the bomb
although you know like that's a fascinating piece of history that i find really interesting
like we we studied
that pretty extensively in uh in high school about whether or not you know the ramifications of it
why it was done and whether or not it was a it was the right thing to do or not um i don't know
i don't know the answer to all those questions but it was pretty fucking cool to see yeah i i america was kind of bad guys right like really in what regard so okay so 9-11
they killed civilians and we act like that was the most over the top civilian killing event that
ever happened those guys didn't deserve that which is true i get it i get it i get it
we killed civilians too we killed civilians indiscriminately in
cities with nuclear bombs. Yeah. Um, we had been killing civilians. Both sides had been
killing civilians indiscriminately throughout the entire war with bombs and the nuclear bombs were
some of the least effective at doing that. The fire bombing that we done that we did in Hamburg
and Germany was outrageous. The fire bombings that we had. The reason they picked Hiroshima
and Nagasaki, for one thing, it was because of wind conditions that day.
But the main reason was there weren't a whole lot of cities left to bomb
anymore because we had firebombed them all. We had these
weaponized meteorology teams who would look
at air currents and be like ah
next thursday there is a hundred percent chance of a firebombing boys because this is
fucking low pressure zone over hanoi like this is the time to fucking drop them man like dry
it's so dry it's dry and windy on thursday man what what an... This is the worst day of my life.
Some guy who, like,
steps in a puddle,
and this goddammit looks up
and there's God approaching
to save us all.
But no, that was...
Kyle, you're right, but you're also
proving my point.
In the middle of a war, yeah.
We didn't lead off with a city attack necessarily.
And it was commonplace in the war.
And also, part of it was these were industrial cities.
These were cities that were creating the weapons of war, right?
These were the ammunition-creating cities, were the ammunition uh creating cities the the the
the airplane creating cities the fuel depots etc yeah i was just gonna go there that's what i
thought it was like some sort of production facility that they chose it not because it's
like hey you know where there's a fuckload of civilians hiroshima you know it's like
they had i don't know it just just they had looked at what it would cost
city to take out an airplane manufacturing plant right they didn't know what the nuclear bomb was
going to do so they they dropped those bombs as demonstration to to show the emperor what we had
because the the goal was to make the emperor surrender and they weren't quite getting it now
whether or not the emperor was about to surrender or not, they were sort of mid-negotiation. But it was almost like that guy who was quasi-resisting in his car.
That's how the emperor was being during negotiations.
He wasn't full-on saying, to the death, no matter what.
But he also wasn't hands up, 10 out of 10, like, yeah, I think we're heading toward peace.
It was somewhere in the middle.
So they were really trying to break his resolve because he, the people were going to fight to
the last man. And they were, there were these, um, you know, the, the, the, they had done these
analyzations to like figure out how, what's it going to cost to invade the main Island of Japan,
like, like in, in men and resources. And the, the calculations ranged somewhere between like a quarter million u.s
deaths and a million it was like it was outrageous numbers i've heard this before it makes a lot of
sense i'm not even saying what we did was the worst case i'm just saying if they decided hey
you know what the best way to get them to surrender is to bomb a city with a nuclear weapon
kill tons of civilians and give them cancer and all that fun stuff then you kind of give up your
virginity with regards to how pure you think your tactics are i disagree i think we i don't think um
for one thing they didn't know a whole lot about what those nuclear weapons were going to do especially as far as they thought it was a taser probably so
it was a yell taser before they dropped it i need to know that you know it's a brand new piece of
technology we'd only detonated one of them before and like even then we had u.s troops in like uh
foxholes like within radiation range you know like like watching the thing go down. We didn't know exactly
what was going to happen. There were scientists
who were saying
we shouldn't do it at all because it could ignite the
atmosphere of the planet and the entire
planet could be consumed in a fireball. They didn't know
what a nuclear weapon was going to do.
One thing that has always fucked with me,
theoretically speaking,
how the fuck did we not know that splitting one
atom wouldn't split all
the atoms around it and then just like basically nuke all of existence it's like you were real
fucking confident that that was that chain reaction would stop yeah it's a brand new you
know it was all theoretical it was all theoretical until they just made it practical but uh but like
if bombing cities makes us lose some sort of moral high ground, then that had been lost long, long before the two nuclear weapons.
Because, you know, I mean, there was the bat bomb that I talked about where they had like the capsules full of bats with thermite charges tied to their legs that they would release over Japan at nighttime.
And then they would go roost as in the homes, as the sun was coming up as bats will do.
And then the time thermite charges would explode.
Well,
bam,
well,
well,
uh,
Japanese civilians homes are primarily made of bamboo.
So like the whole city,
what the idea was like,
we'll burn all the people's homes to the ground.
You know,
it was,
and you got to keep in mind,
the Japanese were at the very least equal and evilness to the Germans.
Like,
like if you look at like some of the programs they had
with the Viva section and the human experiments.
Like, Section 852 or some shit like that.
Section 81 or something.
Like, it's horrific.
Like, don't get me wrong.
Like, we joke about the Holocaust a lot.
I know the fucking Holocaust happened, and it was horrific.
But, like, they did things that are worse than rounding up
a bunch of people and gassing them to exterminate them and i i say i don't say that lightly like
rounding up a whole race of people and gassing them in gas chambers is incredibly hard to top
it's hard to top they were they managed it somehow and if you don't believe me
you can just just read the horrific stuff that they did.
It's just as evil as when I talk about Warhammer 40k lore, where someone sat down and just tried
to make up the most horrific stuff you can do to a person. The Japanese were doing it in the 40s,
like freezing people to death and shattering their arms off and, and burning people alive
and just injecting with all sorts of horrible, horrific chemicals, giving them every disease
imaginable they had created so much, it maybe was botulism or something like that. They had so much
like, I had enough botulism, like kill the whole planet. Like so much evil was going on, not to
mention what they did in Nanking when they invaded China.
The event is referred to as the rape of Nanking.
Like that's where you see those still shots of Japanese soldiers with Chinese
babies on bayonets being flung into fires alive and,
and women and children being buried alive by bulldozers.
Yeah.
I mean,
some of the,
the,
the details of the shit that they did there was like,
they were cutting people open, like using their organs as like a host to like basically use the human as a battery to keep bacteria alive that they could one day turn into like a bio weapon against the US or some shit.
Like they did some fucking terrible shit.
And I'm really glad I came on this podcast.
This is a wonderful conversation.
Yeah.
Yeah. Anyway, look, I don't think there I think the World War Two is one of the very few examples of where you've got a good team and a bad
team versus each other and I think the only ambiguity to be found is in the
Soviets but but as far as like why the US was in that war I that you can really, I think that we were the good guys there.
I don't think that that has been the case since for the most part.
I think there's almost always been some sort of, yeah, but we also wanted this and that.
And yeah, but it was a good idea to put our foot in the door of this and that and let them know that we won't put up with this on this parallel of the fucking planet but
uh but but there was one where you had evil people trying to conquer the world like something out of
a science fiction movie in hitler mussolini and uh hirohito and you had a bunch of people who were
like stand in nations that were standing up to them for the betterment of mankind and i think
like if you're still like a little bit of this little bit of that like imagine like how the planet would have where we'd be right
now if the other if the axis powers had won you know like like i don't think if you would have
cool science flying cars flying cars no no it's all good they continued their work with you know
nasa and a bunch of other cool like I'm not saying tech would have been,
the technology would have been just about the same.
You click at your Nvidia card and think it sucks if the Nazis had won.
I think that if you weren't, if you didn't look like the four of us,
you'd have had a hard time on most of the planet.
But that's where the fun stuff happens is when white people fight,
because then maps get redrawn, technology goes forward 10 years.
I gotta take a piss. It's just a matter of, you
know, the cost. All those
lives, you know.
Details, Taylor. Details.
Yeah. Irrelevant.
Nonsensical. Well, damn
it. Now I have to buy a blazer for the show.
You know, we should put that in like
when we have guests on be like a blazer preferred
i only have the one blazer you might see this again i was gonna show up with a whole tuxedo
i was like i'm gonna fucking alpha kyle and wear tux on the show kyle has been showing up
super well dressed looking amazing with his blazers for two weeks in a row
so i drug out this old thing.
I don't know if this will do next time.
No, well, if the workout stuff's going
really well for you, next time you super out
alpha everybody and just show up shirtless.
I don't think that'll work.
Make sure your lighting's all good
and perfect ahead of time.
Right.
I hit a new low. I'm down 28 pounds now.
Tremendous.
Yeah, and I put on a couple pounds of muscle,
so I like to think I've lost over 30 pounds of fat.
That's tremendous.
Yeah, you've been on a great grind.
What do you do?
Or you try to bulk or what?
Mostly I just wanted to look better.
And I don't even need to be in shape.
I just want to look in shape, like look like – like if you were to chase me, you'd probably catch me.
But if I took my shirt off, you'd be like, not bad for pushing 50.
Not bad for what I'm about to catch.
That's what I was going for really.
So I started with a big calorie deficit and I've cut back on that.
I've lost five pounds since then.
So there's still a deficit, just not as fast.
And I lift five or six days a week.
And that's what I do.
Very nice.
Very nice.
What do you do to stay in shape, Brandon?
So for the most part, I'm a lazy piece of shit.
But I've realized that I cannot get up and go to a gym.
So I've built, in my house now, I've got a master and two smaller bedrooms. So one I've turned in my office here. And then the other one, I built a small little home gym. So I built, uh, I've got in my house now I've got a master and two like smaller bedrooms.
So one I've turned in my office here and then the other one, I built like a small little home gym.
So like, I've got like a pull-up bar, like a dip bar, uh, like a little bench where I've got like
free weights from like 25 pounds up to like 45 or something. So like I've got the basics because
if it's not right there in front of me, I never fucking gonna do it that gets you pretty far like uh i like calisthenics the pull-ups and the dips yeah that gets you really far i and i
i just enjoy it i was talking to a i had a trainer come today he's actually uh george foreman the
baby we watch uh her father is a person with a certified personal trainer parkour instructor he
did all the mocap for fortnight you know, whenever you mantle something or whatever, that's him. And he was helping me
get my squats right. Cause I, my form sucks. And I don't know how I got on that topic, but anyway,
yeah, I was doing squats today. He helped me a ton. Oh, calisthenics. I was, I like, like if I do,
I think I'm at three sets of 15 pull-ups now something like that and uh i feel like that's a number people can relate to and it's something
you can brag about if i said my overhead press was 135 or i don't even think it's that i think
it's less then it's like oh who even knows what they can overhead press like that's not a that's
not a number that means anything to most people right and he was like yeah yeah you know what's cool handstand push-ups and it was
like oh if i could do those that would look cool are you sure you can't because the only thing
stopping me from that is not being able to do a handstand he does it against a wall and he just
busted out a couple handstand push-ups and and showed me
uh like the progression that people take he's like start with a pillow there it lowers your
range of motion and you might come crashing down on your first attempt you know so you put like a
pillow there try handstand push-up and and see where you are and i was like i'm gonna try it i
gotta see where it kind of like working It's basically an upside down overhead press, right?
You're going that vertical.
I was thinking like you'd have to come out a bit and it'd be more like an inclined bench of your body weight.
No, I'd be like trying down.
That's not.
Totally upside down.
Okay.
Because like otherwise, it's just like that seems like a really easy way to get hurt.
It's just a party trick, right?
It's a prison workout is what it is.
It's a workout for people who have no weight system whatsoever. If you look at like,
uh, what they do in prison when they're actually locked down and they don't even have a yard,
it's, uh, it's, they do squats with another inmate on their back. They do, uh, upside down pushups,
regular pushups, sit ups, all sorts of one-handed uh push-ups and variants stuff like this
it's upside down push-up where you lay on your back and just put your hands in the air
because i think i could do thousands of them well i'm talking about your handstand push-ups
i think it's high humidity or something. The atmosphere exactly.
What's the barometric pressure?
I can only do a thousand of those in the low humidity environment.
Oh, yeah.
So a handstand push-up.
I don't know if I can do one or not.
I didn't attempt one.
I was embarrassed to try it in front of him.
See, you're going to hurt yourself with that.
Why is it different than an overhead press?
If people don't know what an overhead press is, it's a barbell.
You go like this.
That's overhead press.
Because of the stabilization, right?
You're going from a really stable platform, your feet, and a really controlled atmosphere, a cage,
and a really even distribution of weight, a barbell, to now we're in a position we've never really been
in before. And we're trying to like, so, so balance, right? Like, like if you're not perfectly
balanced, maybe your right arm's doing a little more on your left and you're overcompensating
and there's a little bit of wiggle. And all of a sudden you tear like something in your shoulder
or your wrist or something like it's also seems like it's putting a lot of pressure on, on your
wrist. Like I, I'm sure there's some like 20 year old, like gymnast out there. it's putting a lot of pressure on on your wrist look i i'm sure there's
some like 20 year old like gymnast out there it's like no i do them all the time it's no big deal
but you know not to be shitty but we always talk about these are workouts for a 48 year old man
right and and like like you're like yeah i think i'll just do a lot of body weight dips instead of
weighted dips because again i'm a 40 year old man 48 year old
man we don't want to tear something in my elbow i don't i don't want to like go hard and then have
to take three months off for fit for like rehab and you know like the goal is for a year from now
you'll be this version of woody right and i just think that upside down or whatever you handstand
push-ups aren't going to could potentially lead to a you a year from
now with like a click in your shoulder and you're like i wish i hadn't done this fucking you're
probably right but what you're not considering is i want to fair enough do them but i mean you've
got you've got all the equipment the barbell the plates everything just set up perfectly for just
continuing to do overhead.
I do.
You know when you go to the gym and you see that huge section where everybody's doing handstand pushups?
No, you don't.
Everybody's doing overhead presses when they're working on their shoulder.
Yeah, I'm not doing handstand pushups because I'm not working out in prison.
I have a home gym in my basement.
That's a fair point.
I'm taking advantage of the barbell.
prison i have a home gym in my basement i'm taking advantage of the barbell that and i like working out in places where like there's nobody else around because i don't really like people
all that much not like you know my friends are one thing but like people i really don't fucking know
like i don't like being i don't like working out in that environment it's not cool plus i like
i'll fucking take my shirt off in my gym and i'll feel like i'm being a douchebag and i'll just like
listen to my own fucking music without headphones like I think that's kind of cool does anyone press anybody
do you know what the McGill three are that it's a back okay the McGill three there's three exercises
it's good for your lower back I was finding that my lower back hurt a little bit Dick Masterson
told me about it he works out and he's like it's magic it fixes you you do the McGill three
every day a week later your back stops hurting and it never hurts it's magic it fixes you you do the mcgill three every day a week later
your back stops hurting and it never hurts again i did it and it worked so i stopped doing it
oh no and then i start lifting and my back hurts i'm like what was that cold again
so now that is my warm-up i literally do it seven days a week and it's a little gay. You know, there's some like 80s aerobics, like touch your knee and your elbow and then straighten your leg.
Like the bird dog. If you know this thing, I'm looking at pictures of it.
It's a little gay, right?
Well, the bird dog, I just I'm not looking at that and thinking that it's that helpful, but it must be.
Oh, over in front of your personal trainer.
that it's that helpful, but it must be.
Oh.
You have to bend over in front of your personal trainer.
Anyway, you mentioned a home gym where no one's there to judge you.
You get to do it by yourself.
Yeah.
I used to just do a different warm-up every day.
Sometimes I warm up a really long time,
like 20 minutes more,
and wasting time.
Now, that's the warm-up.
I do the McGill 3.
Instead of crunches, I do hanging knee raises
because it gets a little upper body into it.
It works your lats, your biceps, your brachii,
and I just prefer that.
The McGill 3.
I'm going to have to write that down
because genetically, my lower back is just shit.
I wear dress shoes or something for a whole day.
My lower back is fucked.
I'm drinking myself to sleep.
It's awful.
You should definitely follow my advice. I'm practically a i hear that yeah i mean there's a whole way
but uh i have had great success with it and so has dick masterson so maybe it'd be
good for you i thought i could do harm a fellow herrera okay got it
isn't that his dick masterson does he have another name he probably does
kylie you muted i might be completely ridiculous i wasn't talking though okay
i don't know what i saw mistakes were made i don't know but uh anyway i forgot how we got
on that topic but yeah so i'm still working out. Leg day, because my knee is hurt.
It's almost better now, but I think I hurt my knee doing squats with bad form.
That's why he was helping me.
And you take quads out of leg day, it's not much work at all.
Do a little hamstring, calf work, some abs.
30 minutes, I'm out.
Leg day is...
The quads are such a huge part of leg day
they are
you take quads out of leg day
it's practically rest day
alright no squats
alright we'll hit it tomorrow I guess
no squats
no Bulgarian split squats
no this no that
those are the ones that kill me Bulgarian split squats
my god like I could do
I skip leg day a lot I'd fucking do it i'm not i'm gonna lie about it like if i
will go back after not doing leg day for like three weeks or something like that and do like
one set of just heavy bulgarian split squats like oh yeah i could do that and i do like
eight reps i'm like fuck i can't walk down the stairs i bulgarian split squats were one of my
favorites back when i was doing i just i felt like i got a real good workout of it and i don't have
like i just have my own body weight mostly i think i put 20s in each hand or something like that i
forget but uh i didn't feel like i was in any injury danger because you're not working so heavy
i like them for that reason but whatever probably where i was fucking up because i'm using like 40s and i never do them so maybe
i was overworking the shit out of them like oh yeah okay lift like a man and then just
totally hurting myself like maybe a lot yeah that seems like a ton but yeah i, I skipped rest day today. I did push
instead or something like that.
Taylor, are you muted?
He's muted.
He's muted. He might not know he's muted, but
he's... I think
he's having a technical
difficulty. Yeah. I think he's
going to tell me not to skip rest day, but
I have an explanation.
The explanation is steroids. The explanation, I'm buying a new motorcycle tomorrow.
I'm getting a DRZ 400. It's not one that would really impress the internet, but it's basically a
street legal dirt bike. And it should be a lot of fun. And that's why I'm getting it. But
so because tomorrow with six hours of driving and whatever it takes to go to the DMV and all that crap is going to be a rest day, I just shifted the workout by a day.
I had a VTX 1800, a Honda VTX 1800 back in North Carolina.
I just recently moved to Texas from Fayetteville.
I was going to ship my bike and
then i just got lazy and i bought one here i had like a vtx uh 1300 that i bought like i was i was
drawn to the same kind of fucking bike i was like oh i like that that looks cool and it's like almost
the exact same one like one year later than the one that i had in fayetteville so it's a cool
looking bike and then you went here yes you Yes. You were the 1300 next time.
Yeah.
I kind of missed the 1800 to be honest.
Uh,
the 1300 doesn't run as well in my opinion.
I haven't driven a bike with that kind of displacement before.
Like it,
it's not as different as you think because it has so much more weight.
Like the,
the, the street bike kind of thing, like the rice rocket look like it's not as different as you think because it has so much more weight like the the the street
bike kind of thing like the rice rocket look like it's it's so so much lighter that you get more
power behind it so like the big number's scary you know okay i drove a 1200 gs and that was
interesting like it just had it made fast seem slow like i don't know how quickly i went on it not super fast but call it like 110 and uh 110 on
my well my bike only goes 105 but hypothetically 110 on my bike would feel sketchy you know it on
this thing yeah i felt like i could cruise at that all day comfortably and yeah exactly exactly it
will so one thing i have noticed about 1300 that I don't like at all is because it's significantly lighter than the 18.
And I was worried because I just got the bike bug again in the last few months.
I had six years.
And so I got the 1800. I'm like, I'm going to kill myself on this.
But it's so much easier to ride because of the weight.
And I noticed on the 1300, like Sanio highways have a lot of wind so i get a bad crosswind
that bike moves and that does not feel good mine does too yeah my i have a gs and i have like a
top case on the back behind a 650 gs it's a small one bmw 650 gs anyway uh crosswinds blow me all
over the place and it's a little sketch.
Your bike looks great.
I saw all the photos.
It looks really, really cool.
I was blown away by the fucking floors.
Man, those floors look good.
Don't they?
I'm serious.
I feel like I'm getting old because I'm looking at your floors and I'm just like,
that looks like a quality floor, Bobby.
That's a quality floor.
I'm just thinking like, yeah,
maybe if you got a car parked on that and you
get underneath, the light's going to bounce. You're going
to have like nice illumination from under there.
That looks like it's going to clean up real good.
I like the color, you know,
the speckle stuff that you throw down.
It's all like evenly spaced.
Like, it looked good to me. I liked
it a lot. Was it like epoxy pouring?
Yeah.
I'm showing everybody what it looks like right now.
It looks good.
And your bike looks very Mad Max.
I like the seat cover.
Not everybody does.
But I like the seat cover, too.
Well, they're not riding the motherfucker.
Yeah, yeah.
Some people think it looks totally gay.
I think it looks Mad Max.
You know, you could be the judge we do see where
the all right we're back a little tech like up i don't think we lost any content but we just took
a minute break thank god it's always like but like and i i told the guys this uh you know when we were
in our little break there for like two minutes it's like every now and then and again i had i
did this a second ago twice ever or something
like that yeah i'm sensitive to this idea that it's like yeah that's why i'm doing it because
like i i don't i'm not putting any onus on woody like i'm not i'm not trying to be shitty but like
twice ever in the in in like a thousand episodes or something that we've done like we'll be like
an hour two hours in and we'll be like we're not recording and and taylor and i
are just like oh it's so it's so devastating but not just because like now our nights are going to
be extra long um and we've got to be on for like another four hours even though we've kind of been
giving it our all for two but also because like it's impossible to replicate magic. I'm not trying to sound like full of myself or anything,
but,
but like,
we can't go back to the well again and tell the same jokes or whatever.
We don't write this show or anything.
It's all off,
you know,
the seat of our pants.
So like stuff happens organically.
So when there's that moment where like somebody said something funny,
it just happened that way.
And it might not happen that way the second time.
It's very upsetting.
But luckily I don't think we lost anything here. So're solid good good good to go yeah as a viewer turned i
guess guest uh you know i'm still a content creator so like it's not that crazy but like
the three hour time slot i'm now i'm getting it i'm like now i know why you guys are like four
hours fuck let's get out of here yeah i'm you know we have four hours you're like man i've been
talking a long time and not really about anything i kind of want to be quiet for a while yeah i'm yeah you know we have four hours you're like man i've been talking a long time and
not really about anything i kind of want to be quiet for a while yeah and like we usually plan
like like we always have something to do after this there's no way you can just like hit put
your head on a pillow after after you're done doing this because like i'm i'm just drinking
coffee like the whole fucking time we're doing this my one of my favorite coffee cups by the way
and uh and like so i'm wired after this i gotta do stuff i gotta i'm going out tonight like like
like there's no way i could just like chill here at home or do something boring like i'm gonna go
out and have some fun tonight like i almost do every time after pka because i'm fucking wired
i'm excited i'm on right now like there's no hit it put your head on a pillow so when that
shit happens and it's like, Oh,
so I guess we're sitting here until one in the morning tonight.
It's like,
Oh fuck.
Because there's no way at one 30 in the morning I can put my head on a
pillow either.
Like I'm still going to be fucking all nighter territory now.
Yeah.
Yeah.
But yeah,
neither here nor there.
Everything worked out.
Oh,
thank God.
Throw it up to all the gods for that one so uh the dark
only the dark ones we know who watches if you could pick one of the fictional uh theologies
to be legit like like get rid of the judeo-christian god and you get to pick any of the others from
science fiction um um fantasy or the other actual established world religions,
which one would you go with?
Probably Greek.
I was bouncing around the whole Greek Pantheon,
the Greek Pantheon.
I was,
I was thinking either Greek or Egyptian.
They're both pretty cause they're,
they're both really cool,
but I think I'm going to go Greek.
I like that aesthetic more.
I do too.
I don't know.
They're always coming down,
raping people though.
Yeah.
But the Egyptian gods are pretty shitty too.
Like all of them were about like,
like coming entire rivers and things like that and like raping animals to get daughters and sons
and then like raping sons to get well i guess you don't get anything this is what you want to be
real you become a den leader in the boy scouts yeah you become a den leader you become the troop
later if you're like the greek gods are real you just have like a moderately hot wife you don't
have the hottest woman in the land because that's just asking for trouble oh yeah that's true
thinking about the gods that would be actually nice if they were real it seems like game of
thrones comes pretty close lord of light shit yeah they bring people back to life they what
badness did they ever do no but like there was a whole like like last season what pantheon of like
like the the faceless god
seemed pretty evil. There were some evil gods
in there also, right?
Maybe you know it better than me. I just recall
the good ones. There was some evil.
And there was that...
Didn't the Lord of Light... Wasn't he the one who wanted
people burned alive at the stake for him?
He did have a thing for that.
Yeah, they did burn that little girl. That was pretty not cash money.
Yeah, that was because of the Lord of Light.
Did they have to do that?
Half of her looked flame retardant.
That like fucked up side.
Yeah, fucked up side.
Yeah, that was just laying there when they were done.
Like a Phantom of the Opera mask.
Yeah, a little bit of rendered bacon.
Little girl cheek bacon.
Yeah, yeah.
You know, I'm tempted to agree with you.
And here's why.
Because like if the Greek Pantheon is legit,
then that means we're going to have some half-gods walking among us,
like Hercules, and I think that would be a cool world to live in.
That exists within the Marvel Universe, FYI,
like the Greek Pantheon.
That's part of the established lore.
Like, Hercules is a thing.
He has, like, Zeus and all the whole gang
are, like like part of the
uh the Marvel movies is the way oh no no it's DC it's DC yeah like that's news to me I thought I
was all this Marvel yeah it's DC because like I've seen cartoons where like um there was this one uh
uh Superman movie where Superman um he's got this formula that'll give Lois Lane his powers for 24
hours and so he gives it to her so she can be a super give Lois Lane his powers for 24 hours.
And so he gives it to her so she can be a super like woman and be his equal for a day.
And they're like in the underworld or something, like fighting some demons or some shit.
And I don't remember the two entities it was. It was like Hercules and like some other like Greek god type character.
And like they got the super hots for lois because now not only
she like hot but she's like super strong and they're wanting to like arm wrestle superman
for the right to be with her and like like he like double arm wrestles them like with such
strength there's an explosion like when he beats him it's it's good now that got really dumb
it did of course it did oh that was the part I liked.
Double arm wrestles, Hercules
and fucking Satan. I don't know
what double arm wrestling is.
Like him versus
both of them simultaneously in an
arm wrestling match. Okay, that's a little dumb.
Do they not make an appearance
in the DC universe? Like do they have to fight
Hades? I want to say that
like in the extended Sny universe like do they have to fight hades or i want to say that like uh in
the extended snyder cut when they they're like yeah long ago dark side came to earth and and the
the old gods plus the atlanteans and the and the amazonians all teamed together to fight him off
and like when they say the old gods that's who they're referring to so i think zeus was there
like slinging lightning bolts i think that was part of that scene.
Yeah.
Greek would be cool.
You know,
Norse would be neat too.
You know what?
I'm redoing my stack ranking.
Greek first,
Norse second,
Egyptian third.
Then you get Thor.
Now we're in the Marvel universe.
Yeah.
Well,
I knew that was part of the Marvel universe.
Who's Thor's father?
Odin.
Is Odin part of the Marvel universe?
Yes.
Yeah.
Yes.
Anthony Hopkins,
I think in the movies.
It's Anthony Hopkins.
Does he do any fighting?
I mean, he's a god, so he gets to fight.
Just a tiny bit in flashbacks, but he's pretty old by the time we get into the Marvel movies.
Yeah.
I guess they would have to do flashbacks.
I want to say in the Thor, when he's fighting the Ice Kings, Thor's not doing well.
Odin comes and fixes shit.
Is that a flashback?
He kind of just shows up and by his his appearance alone
he's just like hey everybody's just like and like like the the ice elves are just like hey your kids
here showing his ass and and odin's like you know how fucking kids are this is literally the scene
he's like you know how kids can be and like the the ice elf who's like enormous and omni present and powerful is just like yeah i know
how it is like like they literally have like a dad two dads whose son got into a scuffle kind
of a discussion where they're not into like restarting what was this world war ii for the
gods like long ago again over fucking thor showing up and showing his ass on the ice elf planet
what movie is that
that sounds like that's like the first thor movie i think maybe i think so too i'm not sure yeah
loki tricks thor into like going to that planet and like showing his ass it's a whole thing thor
gets his whole gang together and they go and they get in trouble people have said that like to jump
into the marvel universe thor is a good one to start with. I think so.
Thor or Iron Man.
I think Iron Man.
Iron Man was the first, and it's one of the more relatable ones.
It's very grounded, especially at the beginning.
And you get to see Tony Stark make his change from real douchey billionaire playboy to a nice guy.
I would definitely start with Iron Man and then move into Thor and Captain America. And then when you have a base understanding of the characters, you're like, okay, a nice guy. I would definitely start with like Iron Man and then move into like Thor and Captain America.
And then when you have like a base understanding
of the characters, you're like, okay, I get it.
And then you see Avengers, you're like,
oh fuck, he's the guy from that movie
with the guy from that movie.
They go together.
Like it, dude, Marvel gave us what we wanted.
It's like all the people.
I really wanted all the people.
I can't believe you got all of them.
They're like, yeah, we have a half billion dollar budget we can get yeah yeah they were yeah nobody really turns
us down like that's the thing about marvel i feel like you could be the most like i'm about the art
of acting it is an art form to me a craft that i live bleed and sweat and they're like you want to be in thor 37
you're gonna play gooku the fucking squirrel king and and daniel day lewis is like i would love to
be gooku the squirrel king because i know you're going to pay me 30 million dollars yeah we're
four days into filming and mr lewis is vomiting because he refuses to eat anything but acorns from
he's hoarding them in his trailer
he's hoarding acorns
he's because his cheeks are all puffed out
at the fucking craft services
table if the squirrels can eat them I can
I remember like watching
or I remember like in my head thinking
like squirrels nature's treat
they're not squirrels acorns nature's treats like when I was like five like man you know you can
just eat things out in the wild you know I think a friend of mine told me this he must have watched
Steve Irwin or something because I remember we went out back in his yard and we ate a couple
leaves and he was like you won't get hurt i've been eating these
leaves for a while i was like okay and uh then he ate a couple bugs in front of me what the fuck
is your friend retarded no i think i really think he must have seen some survival show on like
discovery channel or something and he was out there he had like tied a willow branch around
his head like a marine like he was out there like foraging and he like he like like very grimacingly ate an acorn in front of me and was
like they're perfectly fine and i ate an acorn and it was it's it's awful is it bad they taste
i mean you can eat them but you don't eat them raw you can make you can use acorns to make flour
you can grind up acorns and the inside of an acorn and make flour. You can grind up acorns and put them inside of an acorn and make flour.
You can make acorn pancakes.
Are pecans good raw?
Are what?
Pecans?
Pecans?
Yeah, yeah, absolutely.
They're delicious.
Yeah.
I was at a restaurant with my friend.
He's Australian.
And you have to know him.
He has the deepest, most magnificent voice that you've ever heard.
And it sounds regal almost.
And with an Australian accent, it pairs super well.
So we're at Waffle House.
And he orders pecan waffles in the way that he does.
And the waiter's like, pecan waffles?
You got me saying it.
This is the South.
Pecan waffles. and he's like oh
you think you're from the south i am from australia and i find you adorable
and it worked everyone loved it even the waiter so he had the thing going on like this drink i
like it another yeah he could do that dude this every story this i've
been he's a paramotor pilot he'll there'll be 15 guys from a fly-in at a restaurant all captivated
by him talking about kittens or something like that just every time he speaks he becomes the
center of attention and they hang on his stories they're well paced they're well done he's got it
going on well good for him and he's got good-tasting pancakes.
Those are very good. They're so
fucking good. Yeah, pecan
pancakes. Yeah, I
say I always change
pecan for pecan depending on who I'm talking
to. Yeah.
I'll give you what you want to hear. Yeah, my
grandma's, it's pecan.
How do you say it? I'm like, I don't
know. It's like the aunt-aunt thing. I'm'm like i don't know it's like the aunt aunt thing
i'm like i don't know how i say it i think it depends on who i'm talking to because i don't
vase and vase too i've never said aunt in my life no one i i say it to black people
do they say aunt yeah i've ever they say auntie
oh okay well i've never said that either.
Aunt.
Everybody I know says aunt.
I thought that was the bit for a moment.
You're like, yeah, it's just like the way when you're talking to black people, you say, ask a question.
Yeah.
Let me ask you something.
It's a cultural thing.
Dude, I used to like, you got you gotta keep in mind i am the blackest
person here i spent years working with 95 black people i live in atlanta i literally have an
impasse i don't have a single white neighbor i was given an impasse in jail. Okay? You understand?
I bowed down. Alright, you win. I was dropping the N-bomb left and right.
I didn't have a fucking jail.
A platinum pass is when you have a jail impasse.
I had a jail impasse.
Now, that's different than a prison impasse.
Nobody's got that.
I don't know what they would have done.
You know what they probably would have done?
They probably would have made fun of you.
I would have prayed that they would just be a little light.
They would have embarrassed you.
They would have probably pantsed you and tripped you.
And everybody would have laughed in the whole block.
And you would have been so embarrassed.
I almost caught an ass beating for changing the fucking TV channel, Taylor.
Can you imagine what would have happened if I called that man the N-word?
You wouldn't.
It would be a two-host show. It would be a two host show it's you'd have brought wings in by this point like i would not
fucking be here boys like that that man was so serious about watching the fucking local news in
the morning on all four available channels he was ready to fight can't call him the n-word he's been there for like half over a decade over a decade
yeah well oh so he was one of the people that got moved in from he's still there now so fuck him
he's still there he's still there yeah he was he was one of those guys like you look at him and
you think he's 30 and he's 52 like just tremendous shape prison
workouts all day yeah like he he was in charge of the laundry he ran the laundry he got to choose
who worked in the laundry and it's the cushiest job you like you get up at 4 30 a.m work for two
hours and then you're like free the rest of the day it's like like he was he and i did not get
along very well at first no it doesn't seem like it in
any case um yeah i used to work with like it was it was all black people and just me so all of my
friends were black and and still to this day like i don't have a white neighbor at all there's no
white people here yeah you're in atlanta you're a minority i am a minority i absolutely am you
should be getting stuff. That's true.
I don't know what stuff you should get,
but it seems like you should get things.
I think you should be able to go to college for cheap.
Yeah.
You should get a for being around black people.
Is that what this is?
No, because he's beaten.
Because I'm a minority.
Being a minority in Atlanta.
Well, in that case, I grew up in Fayetteville, North Carolina.
Where's my freak college?
Fayette-nom.
They call it Fayette-nom. What an unflattering...
I live in St. Louis, actually. Who cares?
Because, like, well, there's also an army
base there, like Fort Bragg.
It's Fayette-nom, but it's also Fayette-nom
as in, like, you don't fucking go into town
after 10 o'clock in the afternoon, Fayette-nom.
I don't think the army people are allowed to go to like a bunch of places in
Fayetteville.
They're not,
they're not.
I'm like,
you're the United States army.
You can't go to Walmart at night.
No,
no,
no.
After the third stabbing of a prostitute.
No,
no,
you're not.
I,
I,
it just seems like we're the army.
We should be able to win these confrontations.
I know you win them very well.
Oh, okay.
Okay.
Well, then what's the problem?
I don't see it.
I don't see it.
Hey, so Biden did the five or six executive actions, most of them being about gun restrictions, gun study.
What did he do?
So there was, I think, was six executive actions.
One of them was, well, actually, I think two of them were pretty much just lip service.
It was like, hey, ATF, you make this report every year about firearms
trafficking that they already do. So I was really confused by that one. I'm like, okay, cool. Keep
doing what you're doing. You're doing a great job. The other one was like, it was an inner city
violence intervention kind of thing. They were just going to put like a little bit of funding
toward preemptive measures and in urban environments and stuff like that. One of them was about the arm brace thing.
It was like saying like within 30 days or 60 days,
the DOJ is going to make a ruling about the pistol braces.
I'm like,
okay,
well that's cool.
Cause like they've already done that like four times.
So they haven't.
All right.
So one,
I thought that one was over and it was,
we'll see.
I don't know.
I don't like these. Let's say that he successfully bans arm
braces sure i don't like it but i see it as a parallel to like the bump stocks which i didn't
like either you know same yeah that's one of those like no matter what side you're on like i
didn't i didn't like that bit at all we actually just got that overturned i think the firearm
policy coalition uh just won a lawsuit in federal
court about the Bumstock ban.
Oh, so you can have them again?
I'm not an attorney.
I dropped out of law school, so I have
no fucking clue. Well, you made it
further than me.
I made it three semesters. I know someone who melted
dozens of them.
Maybe for the best.
You know somebody.
Somebody wasn't me.
But yeah,
I didn't like that they banned bump stocks.
I kind of sort of like
mentioning that he banned
bump stocks because
but I didn't like that he actually did it.
And I don't like
that he's banning the arm braces. It doesn't impact me. I don't have one. I didn't like that he actually did it and I don't like that he's bamming the arm braces it doesn't impact
me I don't have one I didn't really desire
one but
any ban I'd
just check I'm like do I have anything
so what else did he do
the arm brace study thing
the arm brace thing and then there's
they're also making a determination about
ghost guns which is basically just
80% that you finish at home or making your own firearm.
Even the 3D printing community, stuff like that, like basically just guns without a serial number, which from the beginning of the country has always been legal to do.
They're just trying to, I guess, make a ruling about that, which, again, they've already done.
done. Like any 80% firearm, like an 80% ghost gun that gets shipped to you usually comes with a letter from the ATF that they photocopied. Like, Hey, we sent this into the ATF asking if this
was okay and legal to do according to the law. And they said, yes. And so it's really interesting
that he's going back and basically just like, Hey, ATF on these two issues, re-roll the dice
until we get the answer we want, which is, I don't really like that. Always been legal, but, and I'm not correcting you, I'm telling the audience,
they have to fit all the same rules that other guns do. So you can't make like a short barrel
rifle or something like that. You're 100% right. Yeah. Yeah. You can't make a machine gun at home
and be like, well, I made it myself. You're like, good for you. You're going to jail.
Yeah. Yeah. But so long as it fits the other rules rules if you finish it at home or make it at home
it's fine so all right so that's four of them maybe you're doing pretty well at this what else
was there do you remember i may admit i i'm probably missing one along the way but the other
one was uh the new atf director and i purposely saved this for last because that's an interesting kind of words uh david chipman i believe uh who
is like a professional currently a professional anti-gun activist but he's been at the atf for
like 25 years dude's got the most punchable face you can possibly what's his name again i'll show
his picture david chipman and uh he was one of the atf agents at Waco and has like a selfie with a rifle
in front of a bunch of burning kids.
And like, just like the dude is like
the most cartoonish villain of the ATF
you could possibly have
that he just was appointed
that Biden couldn't even pronounce
the name of the organization correctly.
He said twice.
He's promoting him to head of the AFT.
Oh yeah. Twice he called of the AFT. Oh, yeah.
Twice he called it the AFT.
Yeah.
Not a big deal, but it fits the narrative of the whole senile thing.
I don't think it's the biggest.
Well, once it's easy to write off, and then as soon as he did it a second time, I'm like, okay, I get it.
Yeah.
That one, too. as he did it a second time like okay i get it yeah um that one too so as you mentioned he's an
anti-gun guy now in charge of the atf and i don't like it i'm pro-gun if you don't know yeah i guess
you watch the show i'm a little bluer than the other two hosts but pro-gun and uh i'm like so
i don't like this move i see it as a parallel parallel to the coal guy who they put in charge
of the EPA.
Yeah.
Who would know polluting best?
He had several
active lawsuits against the
EPA and he, like
you said, he was a coal producer or
coal owner, something like that, and now he's
in charge of the environment and you're just like, oh my god.
The fox is guarding the hen house.
Well, now... I am a coal man.
This is my son,
HW.
Guy's in charge of the
ATF, or
AFT, some call it.
Yeah, some.
People are saying, yeah.
We're having the FIB look into it.
It's an interesting debacle it's one of those things yeah well you know what they'll probably tie him up at the senate for a minute on his confirmation because you know as it turns out
um while it's not a career defeating move uh taking selfies in front of a bunch of burning
children is not a career ender uh but it's not good for your career burning children literally at waco like it was the waco debacle where i think it was like 73 or 78
you know men women children died like burned to death from the atf he took a selfie and they
identified like in the background there's like yeah that's one of the like uncle ben style
skeletons uh in in the back there it really, really kind of fucked up.
Yeah, what a ghoul. I just looked it up because it sounds
over the top. It's just a ghoulish
picture. He's standing there like he
just valiantly won a hard
fought battle and it's like, no, this
is Waco.
There weren't centurions marching
out to meet you in the battle. No,
it was a massacre.
You're a big David Koresh fan, right, Taylor?
The biggest!
I know so many things about him,
such as, you know, lots of people
died at Waco. Why don't you get that tattoo?
That's supposed to be a secret.
That full back piece you've got.
I'm adding a full chest
connection.
Now he's saying it's a far cry
tattoo. Yeah.
I get that picture of him looking crazy with the
whites of his eyes showing above his pupils.
Yeah.
That's not great.
Even if you agree that those guys
were a little crazy, which if you have a
religious cult,
fair enough. I see why people would say that.
That was a pretty big miscalculation even just from optics on the fbi's part scorched earth on it which yeah
you're going after like one dude for technically what's i mean just barely a felony yeah that that
one clip of the fbi agent i'm sorry fib agent up agent up on like the, he's on like the eave of the roof and through the second floor wall, you see machine gun fire coming through at him and he just like rolls off the roof.
It's like, God, they were not fucking around in there.
Some of them though, like I saw some of the breakdowns afterward.
They were like, some of the agents that were killed, I think were like friendly fire.
Some of the agents that were killed, I think, were friendly fire.
Because you had agents that went in, and then you have agents later get to the roof, didn't see it,
and they're spraying MP5s through the window of where their buddy just went in.
It's like, ooh, fuck, buddy.
Yeah, Agent K must have had a sale that week because every one of those fucking feds has an MP5 just fucking going to work in there.
That was a wild situation. It definitely shaped the way they handle things like that permanently i think that was terrible optics and then it wasn't all that long after
that you had the uh alien gonzalez thing where you had atf with the gun with the m i think it
was mp5 again maybe pointed at the child's head finger off the trigger i believe but it's been a
while since i've seen the image he's in the cabinet and you're like got that whole thing that was clinton right am i crazy or is that yeah i
want to say clinton it's a 90s photo this was all very clinton this was all like from like it's it's
janet reno that's the that that's who's catching all the heat so clinton was so good about that
like like for whatever reason i blame janet reno for all of this and not Clinton, who was the president of the United States.
Like,
like you don't see that now.
Yeah.
That,
well,
I mean,
but after that was the Ruby Ridge thing.
Like it was like back to back to back.
What was the Ruby Ridge?
Ruby Ridge was where the guy,
uh,
they had basically entrapped the guy into making an SBS,
which is a short barrel shotgun.
Uh,
because they wanted to him to inform on
somebody who knew who was part of this white supremacist
biker group or some shit like that in Idaho.
And they're like, so they
entrapped him. They're like, hey, man, could you take
the shotgun for me and cut the barrel?
That would be super cool, man. I just appreciate
it. And he's like, yeah, sure, whatever.
And then he did it, and he's like, you've just committed a felony.
You're going to report on these people.
And he didn't want to do it. He's like, no's like no dude like what the fuck is wrong with you and so they
went and like surrounded his house and everything ended up like they used an mp5 and like i don't
want to get too graphic or anything but like they shot a dog they shot it they shot the a dog while
like the the father and son were out hunting i think randy weaver and then the kid goes crazy
because like two agents pop out of the bush and like light up
his fucking dog so he starts firing at the agents they chew off uh the kid's arm with an mp5 like
he's like a seven seven year old child right and then uh like chase him back up and then one of the
fbi snipers takes a shot through the door kills like his pregnant wife like it's a whole fucked up situation
I haven't determined if this is bad yet
did the seven year old
resist a little
was he asking for it
did the cop yell taser
he may have
go with an mp5 and have to be like
taser taser taser
taser
taser yeah that's fucked up I didn't know all those Taser! Taser! Taser! Taser!
Yeah, that's fucked up. I didn't know all those details about. God, if I were still making videos,
I would make that video where I'm shooting machine guns
going, T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-Taser.
We've been a little less
forgiving of that stuff these days.
Yeah.
We just
had like two strikes strikes we had two strikes
going on at once and if we didn't get one of them removed
I would have had three in a row
wow
what would they hate you for
yeah what did they fuss about
a couple different videos one of them that really
pissed me off was German Machine Guns of World War
2 which is one of our most popular videos
it's like a million or something but like
it
they claimed it for
hate speech i'm like i went to drive tanks which is just a firearms museum basically we didn't talk
politics i didn't say anything you're not supposed to say i was just like hey let's shoot all these
german machine guns of world war ii because there's a bunch that i think are really cool
and they they flagged it for hate speech and it was our second strike. That's really confusing to me.
That's outrageous.
Wow.
It's not like you were there like,
and this is a tremendous German machine.
If it had been a little better,
it might have brought the Third Reich to victory.
Now on to the shooting portion of it.
There was no swastikas.
There was no heiling in the middle of the video.
The only thing, we used German music,
but we were even careful to not use the period music like anything referring to reich or whatever we use like
things that were close that didn't have any crazy lyrics like we we even translated the
lyrics to make sure there was nothing now we were wearing clan hoods of course
you translate the music it's like marching through Poland,
killing the Uden.
My favorite part is like,
like I think the original,
like national anthem of Germany,
like Deutschland,
Deutschland,
Uber,
all this is referring to all these places.
Like it's basically like ours.
From these mountains to this ocean.
It's a beautiful country.
Yeah.
But when you realize,
wait a minute, hold on, you pull up the map,
you're like, these aren't places in Germany.
Uh-uh.
They're referring to like,
from the people.
Is that used to be?
Just go take like a world war one song.
Nobody's mad about world war one.
As it turns out,
nobody cares about the Kaiser anymore.
Yeah.
They had the spiky hats.
That was a good look.
They shouldn't have gone away from it.
I love the spiky hats.
Yeah.
That you can attack.
Well,
I don't think they were made for attack.
It was more for aesthetics,
but you could,
I think they were made for attack.
And in my head,
obviously you'd use it to like
bash someone when you take it off and hit them with it but i like to imagine that one german
private who just like full-on went rhino mode with it and was just discharged in i like to
imagine that taylor in particular was a boss character in world war one with the
sherlock spike an extra thick helmet yeah i'm like i don't want any body armor anything give me 45
spiked helmets like a russian have you seen those russian bear hunting suits what no like that yeah
look up a russian bear hunting oh god it's like a power suit it's a big suit covers the whole body
and it's got nothing but like nails protruding like six inch nails the entire body arms it would
make an awesome youtube video to recreate it i don't think anybody's done it because like even
then the way they test it is like hilarious shit it looks like outtakes from a marvel video a marvel
movie like there's one part where they have like that log that swings from ropes like and they just
like let it go and it swings into the guy's chest
and sends him flying and then he's just like i'm okay that's great okay what the fuck this is like
hellraiser yeah it's pretty cool yeah you know i wouldn't feel totally safe but i'd feel safer
definitely i feel like if i fell and tried to catch myself on my arm, like I'd die.
No, the other spikes would
protect you.
No, you just have a wounded
arm and chest. It's like dividing by
a negative. Of course. Got it. I would have changed
the entire plot to the Revenant.
Oh, is this what you're talking about,
Kyle? Project Grizzly? Testing the
different iterations of the suit?
Like in football gear? Just getting abused? iterations of the suit. It's kind of like in football gear.
Just getting abused.
I think the suit is white.
There's multiple suits. I haven't seen it in years.
Different iterations.
This is such a stupid
idea. I've been in a
bike suit before. That was pretty sick.
That thing really does provide a ton
of protection.
Oh my god, this is so absurd.
The one at 15 seconds is outrageous.
It looks so protective.
And then at 20, keep watching, at 25 seconds,
they just start beating him with bats to see if he can...
If anyone wants to watch this, it's called Project Grizzly,
testing the different iterations of the suit.
Good God.
HD video quality.
He does look kind of badass, though, right? He does look cool. the different iterations of the suit. Good God. HD video quality. Oh, yeah.
He does look kind of badass, though, right?
He does look cool.
He looks as big as a house.
He gets caught at 45.
Is it just me, or have they built in fake biceps?
That may just, I thought so, too,
but it looks like it might just be a sheer amount of padding.
Because they were hitting him in the arm with 2x4s with full force.
See, if you took this idea,
and then you mounted little guns on the forearm pointed forward and you had a squeeze grip to activate them so you could point the arms and...
They push him down a cliff at one minute, twice.
And he is falling in a dangerous looking way.
This is reminding me of the Iron Man 2 scene where they're showing the other people's
attempts at building the fucking
armor. It's exactly that.
Dude, this hill they throw him
down, it's
ridiculously dangerous looking.
Dude, the thing at like
a minute 25 when they hit him with a car,
he goes like
20 yards back.
Fuck! No way that this guy... Oh my my god they hit him so hard with this car
all right so they take like an old like pickup truck like a like a like a late 80s early 90s
pickup truck and they put like a big chunk of wood on the front like a wall like it's
dry it's a driving wooden wall And they hit him going no less than
25 miles an hour.
What a stupid project.
So fun.
I'd watch them do it.
I'm surprised some
B-movie didn't buy
the suit from them just to make it their
hero or something.
Or this is like the beginning
of like a hokey like real person becomes semi-hero movie uh-huh they start making anti-bear suit and
they realize they can stop anyone yeah and then like like one night like his family gets attacked
and he like he's looking around for what to do when he sees the suit and then the next scene you see him walking out plaster man
yeah that's really cool i'm captain daredevil yeah that's an absurd fucking suit what was
that was for bears yeah yeah like no bears in the test do you have to like
be like oh there's bears outside get your suits on boys
or is it like you're just gonna like be in that suit like fly fishing yeah you're just gonna be
fishing and like walking through the woods hotly like just sweating it's so uncomfortable i mean
there's no way at no point when he was being attacked did it seem like he knew when an attack
was coming so there's no visibility in this. You're just kind of in a cocoon
of hockey pads and sheet metal.
Are you trying to, like,
bore the bear to death?
Or just, like, it just tries to maul you for, like,
half an hour, it gets exhausted, then you take off
the suit and shoot it?
That might be it. You know what? They need a gun in the arm.
It needs a gun. Yeah.
There's no offense here.
That bear's not gonna get, you know, bored. He's gonna, he knows there's meat there's no offense here that bear is not going to get you know
bored he's gonna he knows there's meat on the inside he's just gonna wait
right yeah like i'd rather get it i'd rather wear that suit and did it to be attacked by a gang of
four humans with bats than a grizzly bear who could just like like how powerful is the swipe
of a bear paw like enough to knock that silly-ass helmet right off his head.
I don't think so.
You don't think so?
I think he's put...
I mean, he got hit by a truck there.
He fell down that mountain.
I think it's a really good point.
Okay.
Yeah, it's almost as hard as Francis Ngannou hits.
Almost.
Almost.
And you know they're just like,
Oh, so the fight is this weekend.
It is time for Jake jake paul to fight
um ben askren it is finally upon us i believe it's saturday night um i believe you and i have
five bucks i never got paid for my death pool but you and i have five bucks on um on the fight i
think i've got five i've got five on ben you've got five on paul um anyone else want to jump in
on this little little betting endeavor shael Sonnen is making me feel like
I chose the wrong guy. He's making me
feel pretty good about myself. Yeah.
We'll see. Chael doesn't
know shit. That's true.
Chael knows how to get a lot of views on YouTube.
You see how many Jake Paul videos he's made?
Yes.
He admitted it. He's a homer.
Right? A homer is a sports term for
people that on no means you root for the home team.
JL is a wrestler.
Loves, even through MMA, like wrestling.
I don't know what else to call it.
Like this is the real sort of collegiate Olympic wrestling.
His passion.
And Ben Ashgren is from that same world.
This is like asking me, you know, whatever.
If I think my own family is going to win something.
Yes, that's who I'm calling. That's who i'm telling you i think is gonna win uh still it's got he's
introduced doubt into me i'm looking forward to it i actually how much does it cost though
because i'm gonna be hard pressed to like pay more than zero dollars for this well that might
you can just go with that option yeah i think i'm gonna
go with the whole i i think i found 50 bucks fuck you they should charge 15 or something that you
might have paid for yeah if it was 15 i'd pay that but uh but no i'm not spending 50 dollars
that's real pay-per-view type money that That's what we paid for Tyson versus Lewis in like 2000 or whatever.
Let's look at the rest of the card.
You got Regis Progais versus Ivan Redcock.
Oh, Mr. Redcock, huge fan.
So are these cards on the up?
Are these all real fighters?
And Jake Paul's the only one who's like a, you know, exhibitionist fighter.
Jake Paul, the undefeated professional boxer.
Well, regardless, is he the only YouTube man?
Is everybody else like a real fighter?
Like that's their profession on the way up?
Yes, I think so.
I think so.
Yeah, yeah.
Frank Mir is on the card.
What?
Isn't he 100?
41.
He's fighting a 44 year old.
Yeah, this is a
watch it for free
kind of show.
The first fight, Rycon
is on the card. His professional
fighting record is 0-0
and 0. And he's up against
a guy who's 8 wins
and no losses.
What the fuck? Why is he up against an eight no profile frank frank mirror has been getting the shit kicked out of
him since 2011 like i thought in my head i remember like when ufc got really big like 2009 2010 like
one of my buddies was really into it and he was like so in my head i was like frank mirror he was
one of the he beat up brock lesnar he was so so good he did and now it's just
oh dude the end of some of these guys careers is depressing he got the shit kicked out of him by
roy the big country nelson in 2019 yeah but like that guy's been struggling too it looks like
right yeah he's lost his last five yikes dude. Dude, I'm looking at Frank Mir's record.
He has, what, three wins in his last one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight.
In his last 11 fights?
That's rough.
Yeah.
Chael said he thought this would do a million buys.
I think he's out of his fucking gourd
I think he's pimping it for
Ben Askren
I think so too
no way
so like a million buys
to give you some perspective is like
insane it's insane
like
I don't know how many things have ever done a million buys
but like if we started naming them it wouldn't take us all that long like like maybe the last
10 things 15 things ever last fight what was that that was probably a million buys yeah
like that's what it's got to be it's got to be like when anderson like chael even mentioned it
when he fought anderson Anderson Silva who it was
it was this massive thing that was barely a million buys I think maybe he said and when
Conor McGregor fights obviously the the biggest guy in all of mixed martial arts that's when you
get a million buys but like when John Jones fights you're getting half a million buys if you're lucky
like like like it when uh when Conor McGcgregor fought floyd mayweather i think
that approached a million buys another another like gargantuan thing that was like had a world
tour where they're going around promoting it two of the biggest from their sports like it had so
much like casual fan appeal like that's when you get a million buys it's funny you you mentioned
john jones i'm actually i'm apparently going on an alligator hunt with him next week. Oh, shit. Why?
Why don't you open with that?
Yeah, that's awesome.
Don't tell him all the shit I've talked that's between us.
Oh, no, no.
I got a list, Woody.
So there's this guy named Woodworth up in North Carolina.
We're going on a gator hunt and uh i'm kind of not sure i because of his record i'm like
we're using i think we're using six five creedmoor bolt guns uh and i'm using a gun that i built
and i'm like can this guy like own a gun yeah because i i just know like some of the stuff
that even just you guys have talked about.
I'm like, this guy could pass a fucking background check.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
He can.
Um, cause he, he does a lot of like, um, tactical stuff on his Instagram.
A lot of like, uh, CQB stuff with, uh, with, you know, transitioning from like sub guns
to, to hand guns and doing, doing a lot of, uh, that sort of stuff.
You see John wick do it like three gun stuff,
like John wick style,
like really good on Instagram,
like training stuff,
real,
real high impact stuff.
It's fun to watch.
So,
yeah.
And I always say he's wearing like a full rig and he's,
it looks like he's got a tricked out,
uh,
Glock or something like that.
It seemed to know what he was doing.
I mean,
it makes fun to watch.
It makes me feel a lot better.
So I'm like, I mean, he's already like a man with a gun on a boat that's good he doesn't need the gun
how'd you for you like that's an awesome thing to be able to do i was a friend of mine invited
me i think it's something that smith and weston is doing or something's like the romp in the swamp
or something down in florida and like my parents live in florida so i was gonna like go down and
visit them while I was there.
It was a neat thing. We were told last minute, like, oh yeah, Jon Jones is going to be on your team.
We're like,
okay, cool.
Fuck, does he need a gun?
Or is he just going to beat the shit out of an alligator
in front of us?
That would be cool to do.
That'll be fun. That'll be a bunch of fun.
I'm hoping so. I'm going to get some new boots out of it with any luck.
Nice.
You get more than that.
I might get John Jones to punch me in the liver.
Yeah. What if like, like, you know, four hours into the day, the, the,
the, you know, the star struck bit is kind of worn off and he is just costing you the
competition.
Like he's that bad.
He's missing gators.
How do you like,
yeah.
You know,
those difficult to hit gators,
those little fellas,
like how,
how do you even broach that?
Are you like,
John?
I mean,
tremendous.
You scared him,
right?
He'll be back.
He'll be back.
I'm positive.
You know,
you,
you spooked
him mr jones i believe that alligator is running out of adrenaline we'll get him in no time yeah
that's the sort of backhanded compliment we would do to people when we're bird hunting we'd be like
dove hunting or something like that and like somebody would miss one i'm like oh good shot
you scared the fuck out of him
oh he is scared look Look at him go.
You can't say that to John Jones.
What if he tosses you into the swamp?
Yeah.
And then he just keeps forehead pushing you back.
Please, Mr. Jones,
let me back into the boat.
You're like a pregnant woman, John.
You'll hit her every time.
Can't miss those.
Oh, give that line a go and report back.
He did not take it.
You tell John Jones I'll fight him anywhere, anytime.
I don't give a fuck. Palm Beach
Hospital? Wow!
No, you'd wake up gurgling at the bottom
of the swamp.
Well, that's awesome. That's a small
world because Kyle loves John Jones
because of his
ethics.
I do.
He never has cheated.
I do like Jon Jones, man.
I like winners. I like winners and I don't care how
they get there.
Man's got a good record.
I like the idea
of having a steroids only
UFC.
I would pay more money for that.
Welcome to ROID.
Welcome to ROID Rage High Impact Combat.
Fuck yeah. People would die all the
fucking time.
It's one of those things where people are like,
well, that's not fair to the sport because
they're enhanced
athletes and blah blah blah. I'm like, you think the average
fucking person in a street fight
can afford these crazy diets, personal chefs, personal trainers, huge million dollar home gyms. I'm like, no, they're already enhanced the most they possibly can without having fucking testosterone.
from Always Sunny was like, it's easy to get in the kind of shape I'm in. You just, you know,
have a full time job that supports it entirely, paying you a lot of money. And then you have your chef give you your meals every three hours and then you go to your personal trainer and your
personal gym. And if everyone would just do this, we could get rid of obesity. Like he said something
like that, like pointing out like, yeah, it's it's outrageous to expect like the average work
a day Joe to be able to attain that. I like to watch the youtube videos where the guys are super lean and they're like trust me life is rough at four percent
body fat i'm cold all the time i'm grumpy you know i have a hard time with this that and i'm like
yeah that's why i'm not cutting more because i'm afraid of that. I don't want to get cranky.
You always like me
when I'm angry.
I could relate
to your skin
thin
skin problems. I don't know.
That's not my problem.
What would you say your
body fat percentage is?
Now? I don't know. It it's not bad i've gone from
um my abs used to just be like bumps through the fat and now there's like squares where you can
sort of see them so maybe 14 15 14 or 15 okay it's very good something like that
making some serious
yeah no I don't like those like
so I've got like one of the home bluetooth
little like fucking
body fat measurement scales
that's like $40 on Amazon
I'm like I'll do really good
for like fucking three months at a time like I
visible abs showing and I'm like
oh fuck yeah and I'd get on that thing it's like yeah you're at 19 and a half percent i'm like fuck you man come on
i was feeling good like those things don't work one they don't work two i think you might start
to like the fab start to protrude at 19 maybe and if the abs are there who do you say no kyle
i don't think so no um
if you want an accurate scan you gotta do a dexa or a water submersion if you really want a hundred
percent accuracy you get a dexa done for like 75 100 they're only that much yeah yeah well shit i'm
like kind of curious but like i'm almost worried i'm gonna be embarrassed when i get it done i'm
like oh yeah no it was totally right i'm a fat a fat fuck. I'm really okay in my head thinking that it's inaccurate scale.
I guess it depends how generous you are when you say
abs start to show. I mean, this guy's got a two-pack at
15 to 19. That's not necessarily 19
either, though. Guy number two
looks pretty built, and you can see his abs the 10 to 14 guy
he's not flexing right yeah he looks like he just ate a lot he can see this isn't much of a scale
though so it's like five to nine there's a massive difference between five and nine all right greg
ducette is about nine or ten five percent% is on the stage at Mr. Olympia
looking like they're about to shred apart.
There's just such a massive difference
between those two things.
Also, it's these guys' bodies built.
It's their bone structure and their muscle wells.
There's so much variability going on.
Some guys at 14 are going to look absolutely shredded.
Some are going to look absolutely shredded some are going
to look like they barely work out this guy looks even worse than 35 to 39 because of their body
type yeah if you have a shitload of muscle mass going on like if you're at fucking 19 you're
looking pretty decent but like a lot of these guys like even if you're down to like 15 but you have
like no muscle development like you're not going to look as good.
Yeah.
The 15 to 19 guy is super skinny.
He doesn't have a lot of muscle on his frame.
Yeah.
I would say he doesn't even lift, bro.
Yeah.
I like it.
What a loser.
You think the 15 to 19 guy is super skinny?
Yeah.
Not super skinny lean-wise, but just like he doesn't have any muscle on his frame.
I feel like his muscles are better than the 20 to 24 guy.
I was looking at his bicep like by the elbow.
Well, the 20 to 24 guy is – I don't know.
I see Adonis lines on 20 to 24.
True.
I think his biceps are a little bit better and his delts are a little more rounded and his forearms look
better. I think the 2024 guy looks
stronger. They're both totally missing delts. Their delts
are shit on the top two right guys.
The 25-29
dude I think could get in shape pretty easy.
His biceps and triceps look pretty decent.
The 25-29 dude?
Yeah, I think he could get in shape
easier almost. He could get in movie
shape easier than 20 to 24 guy
oh for sure because i mean 25 to 29 guy looks like he could shave down a lot and still be
kind of big like at least his shoulder and arm well shoulder not great but his arm looks really
big 20 to 24 guy is just kind of like an average looking dude average joe stafe puff marshmallow
kind of i mean like one from that 15 to 19 down to the 10 to 14 it's like
and the five to nine it's like well the only two people in here that obviously are lifting all the
time are the top two on the left like yeah it's a 10 to 14 like that guy totally looks like a
different species than you know 20 to 24 you but i do agree that 35 to 39 looks i mean they both look awful but he looks better than 30 to 34
yeah again it's body type like like it's it's just body type it's like how they're holding
in the weight like man 30 to 34 has some real imbalances going on there 30 to 34 look better
if he could just fill out under his boobs with more fat yeah he needs to add some fat
between his tits and his love handles dude if you could bulk up a little like like maybe add a few
thousand calories a week you could fill that region out stop it with all the soy you're getting
all that estrogen filling out the titties nice and good right switch to some cheeseburgers like 35 man over here he knows how to plump
yeah 35 guy yeah i mean uh 40 percent or more guy just looks horrific
that's the goal that's if i see brad pitt from fight club it's bottom right
yeah just going full-on just lifting eating everything you want bloat max
with less lifting yeah yeah this guy eat whatever you want, bloat max. With less lifting. Yeah, this guy, eat whatever you want,
cut out that lifting nonsense.
You know how many calories you burn when you lift?
Just fucking eat.
Yeah.
Have you guys seen what's going on today with Dogecoin?
Yes.
Has it hit 19 at one point?
It's up to, What is it at now?
Let's see.
It was at 25 cents or 20...
Yeah, it was at a quarter earlier.
Jeez.
What the fuck?
It's at 31.
It's almost 32 cents right now.
Fuck me.
I threw that in my buddy's face earlier today
because he had a rifle trade.
Somebody offered him the equivalent in cash he was asking.
It was like $1,400, $1,500, something like that in Dogecoin two weeks ago.
And I'm like, hey, dude, you probably should have done that because you could buy a fucking car right now.
Damn.
That sucks.
I mean, it was just like it was, what, ago, three days ago. Is that like seven cents?
How did you get like months ago?
It was at less than a penny.
I think I'll look at it.
Yeah, yeah, it was.
It was like a total joke thing for years and years.
And then it like got some push from people online, like memeing it into reality.
And I think it got up to like like nine cents or something.
And then it plummeted and went back down for a long time.
And then in the last day, it's exploded.
Do you guys know why it exploded today?
Maybe Elon Musk talked about it.
That's my first thought,
because that's what started Bitcoin
and even accentuated, I guess, the GameStop thing.
But I didn't see anything today that would have caused it.
All right.
Since we started talking about it, it's gone up three quarters of a cent.
All right.
I'm buying now, boys.
How much do people have?
My buddy has some Dogecoin, and he's always excited about it.
But I guess it's part of crypto culture not to tell you how much.
You said which ones you have, but they don't even hint how much they just.
And I want to know, like when something goes a 5000 percent gain.
Did you turn that into five grand or five hundred grand?
Like what? Where are you on this spectrum?
I imagine most people with Dogecoin are turning it into like five grand because like
even like other cryptos are like yeah bitcoin's gonna be around forever like ethereum like all
these established ones they're gonna be around even like a couple months ago it was like dogecoin
like yeah okay i guess like everybody it's been because it was an established meme for years and
so i think there was a bit more hesitancy for people to throw in all the way. But smart people did, I'm sure,
because always way smarter investors than me.
Is it somebody manipulating the market?
Where's the why?
Why is this going up?
Because a bunch of people want it
because it's going up
and it's going up
because a bunch of people want it.
Well, to let you know,
there's a thing from six hours ago
at Investor Place.
It says,
why should buy $500 in doge as doge
dogecoin prices rocket to 17 cents wow like well that person was right they nailed it
now it's 32 cents it's at 32 now it was at 28 when i just pulled it up yeah on my app it says 32
cents 32.1 cents this is so funny dogecoin who would who would have thunk it i
i don't know i just because it was selling for two tenths of a penny it seems like a natural
amount to buy would be some large amount like you put ten dollars into it how much is that at two
cents or like let's say you put twenty20 into it to simplify the math
if a penny is 10 of them
$20,000? Did you do it? Alright. I'm guessing
I failed math dude. I got thrown out. It's incalculable
but it must be a lot. And now that it's
whatever a quarter or a share, good god it must add up to some
I guess in that case if it's $20,000 it's only $ know, whatever, a quarter a share, like, good God, it must add up to some.
I guess in that case, if it's 20 grand, it's only five grand.
It's not like retirement money.
Yeah.
Well, everybody, you know, based on the Internet, people seem to want to hold until a dollar.
But if it ever hits a dollar, it'll be hold until five dollars.
That's how it always goes in the online communities.
With Bitcoin, it's like, can you imagine hitting $10?
Now they're all wanting it to hit $100.
How is Bitcoin doing? Is it still going up? It's over $60, right?
I think it is.
I know it went over $60.
Crypto is so cool. I wish I understood it.
$63.
Is it bad that I was monitoring what Bitcoin was at for a while
because of the price in Tarkov.
No. You play Tarkov
as well. I just
got into it. This is my first wipe. I just got
into it three months ago and I've
gotten really hard into it. I'm like,
I didn't know this was here.
This is wonderful. Dude,
I'm not playing it lately
but I do understand the addiction,
how deep it goes, how much it takes to learn.
It's
it takes a while just to know
the maps, just to know where the extracts are.
How much money do you have?
13 million rubles. You're doing fine.
I grinded
it because I wanted to fucking learn it, right?
After a while, I was like, ooh, I get
this. I get why people are addicted
to this
and uh i kind of no-lifed it for three months because i like first time i played it played it
was in like i don't know it was january this year and uh now i'm like level 45 46 oh yeah
i like this fucking game yeah dude i uh i i love that game so much i i've gotten away from it's
an unhealthy obsession, frankly
um, but but like, uh, I played one or two wipes super fucking hard and I just um,
I just kept like saving my money and buying keys until I had like all the shoreline keys
And then like during the day I would run shoreline like 15 20 fucking times hitting the keys
And then by the night time I'd found enough ledex's to like fund
my like fully kitted like going in with a full squad with all my buddies like runs yeah you'd
make i'd make five million a day sometimes just running those keys and then yeah i can just blow
this five million tonight if i want to i like by the end of one wife i was just running nothing but
thermal goggles i had so many i did like they did a twitch event and they were giving away some thermal goggles occasionally so
the the price dipped from like i don't remember what it was but they they dipped from like 10
million a pair to like 5 million a pair so i bought like 10 fucking pairs of them or something
like that thinking that they were gonna bounce back up and i was gonna double and they never did
so i just had like a box full of thermal goggles and by the end i was
just running them all the time it's a fun game it's addictive it is and that but there's like
such a skill disparity because i'm like i'm already like i would skull fuck me three months
ago it's not even close like it is just absurd and then i go over to like so like san antonio
area now has like a bunch of the streamers here like uh willers is here clean is here like a bunch of dudes like that and so i'm like okay i'll go over
to like will's house and then i'll just watch him play this fucking game and i think he's playing
the punisher tournament right now dude like he's just like i'm just watching him play i'm like
that's not even a fucking option for me like you're not even playing the same game i am willers in particular the way he jumps good like what
you can get up there he gets up there first try bouncing around in places and and like when
there's a bat when he's someone else to attack i'm like all right you know i need to get like
first movers advantage come around aim for the head whatever he's like i need to do some fucking
weird trapeze shit drop it on top of
of uh shipping crates on customs that no one else knows you can get to then he's laughing at the guy
as he jumps on his head and i'm like of course he didn't know you can't get up there it's
although like because he's just like he'll just drop down and like jump out a window
plop you from the second story on the way down with a fucking five seven in the head kill you just boom ggs good nice man all right cool i'm just like
that's just fucking disrespectful dude that's one of the differences but like so i was a competent
player i played three wipes uh the third wipe not so deep but i got levels 30 something whatever
and uh you know i knew the maps i knew how to play i was a competent player
but um the way that these guys handle the movement and customs battle right how do they handle a
customs battle oh well obviously you get on the roof from the third floor thing jump from there
to the stairwell on the second floor and surprise them what how do you even do that that's outrageous
i break my legs but they
don't my thing is i pop through the fucking doorway i wait till i see a silhouette of a
person and i shoot at that person as much as they die the closest i ever came to doing stuff like
that is like on um um what's the map called is it countdowners what's the map where um you've got
the uh man i spent so long since i played it's the big air base reserve reserve yeah like just pop a bunch of they're coming up the stairs
and i'm on the roof and reserve and just pop all my fucking stems and just jump off the goddamn
roof because i know i can survive it and i'm healing so fast and then just start crouch walking
up behind them and kill them but you're talking about some
acrobatics that i oh like i have a hard time making that jump on customs where you just jump
off the car onto the porta potty sometimes like yeah when you just want when you want to jump over
the uh the wall there with the barbed wire on it i'm trying to remember what's wrong with me
the car to the oh oh i know right by uh new gas yeah yeah um yeah that's great game
super fucking in depth in depth that's a great description of it yeah just understanding how to
like what even you like in a gun and what's expensive and what oh my god just knowing what
to bring back to your economy oh i love that i like those are the things that like even even if i'm not so
great on the mouse and keyboard like these are skills i can acquire with my time and like
whatever memorization skills that i have i'm really good at memorizing things so like just
watching enough content i'm like instantly knowing the value of items on the flea market and it's
just in my head somebody's like oh what do i bring do i bring these this or that or this that i'm
like wow that's 37,000 right now.
You want that?
Pick that up.
Oh no,
no,
those just dropped to 8,000 rubles.
Throw those away.
You just know.
Yeah.
That's super cool.
And to me,
like just,
and I know like,
I'm sure Kyle,
you sympathize and Woody to a degree.
Taylor,
I think you would,
if you played the game,
probably,
but like the real world gun stuff behind it,
where you're like,
Oh,
well, these ammo types actually matter because one of it where you're like oh well these ammo types
actually matter because one of these is you have like full metal jacket the one is like a crazy ap
the other one's like an ap that's kind of good but it's a tracer so it's not as good and just
like all sorts of crazy shit even the gun modification where it's like well no you can't
put a fucking red dot on your ak you retard but if you put an Ultimac on it, then yes, you can, because now you have Picatinny on it.
It's like, shit like that
is so in-depth, it is so autistic
for the average person. I'm sure
it's just a huge turn-off.
But for guys like me, it's fucking wonderful.
I know for a fact that that game
has gotten people into guns
and like,
man, I've been building
guns as my hobby online for like
six months now i figured but fuck i might as well go to the gun store and i know exactly what i want
now i want high ergo you have a you have a gun you have a combination of guns and accessories
that you really like in real in the game you want to get a copy of it in real life it it happens uh very cool we i don't want to play it again
it's an unhealthy obsession it really is um but but i do love games like i i have the same issue
with rust i don't know if you've ever played rust but rust i've heard you talk about it and i know
i know what has happened with me and tarkov and that's why I'm never gonna fucking download
Rust. Yeah, we'll see like rust is in my opinion
Healthier than Tarkov to some extent because Tarkov you have a full wipe that you have to commit to right like like or at least
To some extent you have to commit to whereas rust you can be like, you know, I do have next week off
I next week can be rust week like you don't have to do a week too, because it's,
it's a one week cycle game.
Whereas Tarkov has those big cycles,
three months,
six months a year.
So it's like a sprint versus a marathon in a way.
Yeah.
Yeah.
But it's a long sprint.
I don't know.
It's,
it's you,
you have to grind the fuck out of that game,
but just for seven days,
whereas Tarkov,
like days, nine and ten
you're still grinding away you're like you're like oh i can't really afford a meta uh m4 yet
but i'm gonna get there i'm gonna keep running these cheap ak's till i can but in in rust by
like day three that's you're like we got everything we've grinded so hard for three days we're we're
a step ahead and now we get to raid tonight it's it's super addictive to like take things from people the other thing is like
in tarkov unless you're like just happening to get in the same servers with the same people over and
over you probably rarely recognize people's names it would happen occasionally like oh i remember
that guy i've bumped into him before but in, you're in a server with these guys.
And not only do you know their names,
but you've probably talked shit back and forth in chat.
They've used voiceover to talk shit to your face in the game,
to your virtual face.
And rivalries build.
And it's not as if you can just pick up base and move
without a good deal of expense in that game so
like you know where they live they're right over that ridge three squares to the left they're three
kilometers away we know where they live we could be there in five minutes if we wanted to we can
go fuck with them but then we start some sort of a like proxy war with their neighbors and now we've
got all sorts of problems like if someone wants to ruin your day in that game it's really easy to do
it they can just come naked with no armor and a double barreled shotgun and just
hide outside your door and just be a complete cunt to you.
Every time you walk outside,
you're like,
like worried.
Someone's going to one tap you steal all your valuables and disappear into the
night.
It's a,
it's a brutal game,
but it's very addictive.
It's also unhealthy.
Yeah.
That's why I haven't downloaded it.
I just,
I've heard the way you've talked about it and I've heard like other people like just other Twitch streamers play it. I'm also unhealthy. Yeah, that's why I haven't downloaded it. I've heard the way you've talked about it, and I've heard
other people, other Twitch streamers
play it, and I'm just like, yeah!
Actually, that looks like it fucks.
I'm not going to touch it.
Yeah, and recoil control is
the hard... Tarkov's kind of hard.
I'm sure you know. But
this recoil control is a
whole other animal.
You have to spend hours and hours
on training servers to actually get decent.
I like that about a game, though.
I like it because Call of Duty and shit,
you're just like, oh, it raises this much,
and then you lower down and you're good.
In real life, it's not like that.
You are being donkey kicked in the fucking shoulder
over and over again for 30 fucking rounds,
and you need to just kind of walk it in, but you're still like even though you can get dialed you won't get
perfect you know yeah that's how rust is like the best in the world it looks like they're cheating
and the worst in the world they might as well not even pick the gun up it like the difference is
that much like we would get to the point in the game where we had AKs when I was new,
and I'd be like, I don't want one.
It's wasted on me because I can't control it well enough
to even use it in a fight.
I should use the cheap gun that's semi-auto
that you just shoot, pull down, shoot, pull down, and repeat.
I'll just pick at people.
Does it make you rely on tactics because of that?
Yeah.
You got to be sneakier, be more of a – play like much more of a bitch.
Like people who are good with the AK can play like complete chads,
just running straight into people because they'll turn on them.
Like it's a game where like someone will start shooting you in the back
and their time to kill might be three seconds
and a great player's time to kill is way less than a second.
It's almost instantaneous because it's like two headshots and a body shot is a kill, I think, maybe, with an AK at close-ish range.
And they'll do that within the first five shots.
It's just, and you're dead.
And they'll just be like, what the fuck happened?
I've never died that fast before ever.
Like, gunfights usually take a good amount of time, but you'll just melt when you run into either
a cheater or a good player.
I've ran into both, and it's hard
to tell. That's the thing that I've
been lucky about, I think, in Tarkov is I
don't think I've run into cheaters before.
Rarely. Yeah, because it's normally
like, normally I can just kind of accept, like,
oh, that guy either, like, it was a server
issue, or that guy was just better than me.
Because Tarkov, he guys so fucking quickly.
It's just like, oh, head eyes from across the map.
Cool. Welcome to Tarkov, bitch. Got it.
Yeah, yeah.
And as a bad player or as a new player,
it's kind of nice that you can head eyes somebody
and just like, whew, I one-tapped that guy
all the way across the reserve there.
Right.
Let's go get his shit before somebody else does.
Sometimes it's the luck element to it you know yeah yeah it's you know like i i played a lot
of reserve and a lot of shoreline um those were my two favorite maps but mostly reserve
brave brave man i i play a lot of woods but like sometimes factory if i need like to do some like
just pvp shit factories those are my
two least favorite maps i really like shoreline i like like doing that big rush to get to the
goodies and then just creeping around inside those rooms and stuff interchange was good for that that
was that was fun for me uh shoreline a lot of the guys i play with play shoreline and so like
because of that i know like resort and all that but yeah i don't like going
there alone i love going there alone really because then i then i don't have to worry about
everybody complaining because i'm moving so slow i like to be just like really creep around in there
and uh and and try to kill geared players and but mostly i wanted to hit my keys like i really i
always liked games like like skyrim and oblivion and fallout give you this illusion that you're a
treasure hunter,
but you always,
you never find anything good.
Really?
It's just like,
Oh,
it's more bottle caps.
It's more,
it's more soda.
It's more of this,
I guess like if I,
if I open enough chest and I'll have a lot of caps and then I can go buy
something,
but you're never really finding like,
Oh look, it's a magic bottle cap.
But in, in, uh, in Tarkov,
you do find some magic bottle caps every now and then the way the flea market
works, you find that Ledex and you're just like,
I have to get out of here now.
You're like Ledex graphics card, shove it in my asshole.
Let's get the extract right now.
Yeah. If, if,, when I would play all alone
and I would have... I've found
two Let X's before by myself.
Maybe three, but definitely two on multiple
occasions. And when you
hear someone coming up the stairs or like
you hear like a squad like over
in that central building
like the office building
it's like, we have to creep
the fuck out of here and get to extract.
We've got two and a half million rubles
that we just found, plus all of our gear.
I'm carrying way too many valuables right now.
It's fun.
It's a very addictive game.
I feel like I'm fulfilling a Reddit prophecy here
with just talking too much Tarkov right off the bat.
They're going to bitch about this later.
Who knows? It's been a a while Tarkov has been yeah
we haven't talked Tarkov in like a year and months and months like yeah a real long time
rust was a bigger fad more recently for Kyle in particular and what do you haven't played
you've been on motorcycle and fitness mode for way too long to that's about right yeah yeah
that's what I've been into lately.
Flying too, but I don't talk about it much.
Yeah, yeah. I'm looking forward to your
motorcycle trip. I'm excited for you. I think that's going to be
a lot of fun. I'm so looking
forward to it. I spend all day obsessing
about it. My friend sent me pictures
of his new boots that he's going to wear on his
trip with me. Hell yeah.
When is it? June 4th.
Very nice. What kind of snacks
are you going to bring?
I'm just
going to test to see how in-depth he
actually has thought about this because he's been talking about
he's obsessing. I bought them already.
I knew it.
The mini
RX protein bars. They're
actually not the best in terms of
macros and such but um they hold up
really well to like abuse you know you can't squish them you can't melt them you can't do you
know what i'm talking about kyle the they've like yeah yeah plain packaging and a very few ingredients
yeah the pure protein ones like the the the those are the best for macros you're getting like 20
grams of protein for like somewhere between 170 and 200 calories depending on which flavor you get they do mush
so like for what they'll mush yeah for sure they'll mush but but i'm saying like he got the
right thing is if he doesn't want jerky which he says he doesn't because they make like those turkey
bars that are uh like 17 grams of protein for like 190 calories or something like that.
And you can't mush that shit.
It's like a turkey bar.
Yeah, jerky would be a good slim.
He doesn't like jerky though.
Yeah, that's true.
But it would make you feel like a frontiersman.
I got this variety pack.
People know these.
They put the ingredients right on the front.
Three egg whites, six almonds, four cashews, two dates, no bullshit.
Now, it says
coconut chocolate, and there's no coconut
in that list of ingredients.
So maybe a
dash of bullshit?
I won't
say bullshit. I'll say there's a bit of tomfoolery.
Maybe a
level below.
A little bit of mischief.
Yeah.
These are gonna be fun because you want plenty of carbs.
You want calories because you're,
you're going to be riding that motorcycle is physically demanding.
It's not nothing.
It's a little stressful.
I wonder how,
how much exercise is it depends on the day.
Of course.
Right.
If you're wrestling it up a Rocky mountainside,
super demanding.
If you're just on gravel, maybe like walking in terms of like just walking for four hours that day.
Strap on one of these.
Strap on a Fitbit or something.
Like track it.
It'll, you know, put it on other workout and like it'll tell you.
That'd be interesting.
Because I've always wondered like because I assume there's some core strength going on as far as like keeping it balanced and everything and of course you got your forearm muscles working
with the with the throttle and all his back is always fucking tensed up yeah probably squeezing
his ass cheeks hopefully the wind doesn't blow him off the highway uh all puckered up in fear
where his buddy's gonna like lose control and side swipe him into a guard
rail i like my buddy's adventure at least as much as mine he can barely ride yeah you're
gonna keep your distance from you know you are he doesn't shift that well yet um he just got his
helmet i think today or yesterday he has. And his boots came in today.
And so he's going to be riding this weekend
where the practice will start in earnest.
So he's like real green.
Yeah, no license or anything.
He needs to get his license.
He's got that schedule.
He's going to get fatigued two days into this
and just want to go home?
He better bring a lot of fucking tylenol it's gonna
hurt he has two months to whip himself himself into well a month and a half to whip himself
into riding shape and i expect him to yeah he needs to be going on daily rides like start off
with like some whatever whatever feels comfortable and then the next day try to push a little further
and keep going until he's consistently is able to like knock out three or four hours without
because like look i've never done it but i've like spent an afternoon on an atv or a snowmobile a little further and keep going until he's consistently is able to knock out three or four hours without...
Look, I've never done it, but I've spent
an afternoon on an ATV or a snowmobile
before, and when you get off, it's like
oh, my back is
fucked up. I need somebody to walk on it back at the
lodge because it's going to crack like
fucking hell.
That's perfect.
He's hitting it, though. His gear came in today.
I forget. One of them came in today, so we won't judge him for not riding much before his gear. So, but he's, he's hitting it though. So his gear came in today. I forget one of them came in today.
Right.
So we won't judge him for not writing much before his gear.
Yeah.
Tomorrow.
His,
his daughter's like home,
not homeschooling,
online schooling because of the pandemic.
He's going out.
He owns a piece of land that he uses for flying and riding his motorcycle,
ATVs and shit on.
So he's doing his daughter on a telephone hotspot
to attend her online school
while he trains on his motorcycle at the field.
If that goes well enough,
he's going with me to a national park
and we're going to do a little more hardcore trip
and see how that goes,
work on the mountains and the trails.
He's hitting it.
He's going at it.
Good.
He better be because that would be a really awful like first day to the trip to be like i can't do this anymore like for me like at like
two hours of riding it's just like kind of like i'm over it i'm like i'm ready to stop for like
a burger and a beer man like i that's how i would feel as well like two hours of doing like i i've ridden horses a good bit i've done a lot of atvs i've done a little bit
of snowmobile and uh and jet skis and and all of those things do the same thing to me because
you're like maintaining a position and just like locked in on something and and especially when
you're like focused on something like i can do it gaming i can be like playing super seriously
gaming and be hunched over my fucking pc for three hours and then realize it all of a sudden be like
wait have i even turned my neck and oh oh my next my next fused like like literally just if you don't
if you get in the zone doing anything you can really fuck yourself up like yeah for sure i'm
curious if you've experienced this because i
just experienced it for the first time yesterday uh where i was doing like uh like forearm exercises
right where i was doing like i don't know what you call those reverse curls or whatever like
heavy weights like where it's very intense on this muscle on the thumb particularly and then
you go and like sit at a stoplight on a bike and have to hold that you're just like oh oh fuck no no i have had that during the curl though like where it's like
man it almost seems like my grip is my weak link on this thing sometimes i'm wanting to like this
isn't how you curl i sound like a bitch but my bone like
sometimes my bone just doesn't feel like it wants to go i don't know if i need to drink more how
much weight are you using uh like doing that like i don't know like like 30s or something like that
and you're just like i feel like like my bone is almost like no it's not like i'm worried about
it's gonna fucking snap or anything but it's just kind of like I think my bone hurts.
That's not supposed to happen.
Is it on the outside, like here?
No, it's usually right in the
meat. I've also got a wrist injury
from a few years ago, so my
rotation on my right wrist is kind of fucked.
Even shooting some handguns,
it's not really a pleasure to do.
If I have to
angle down like that,
it automatically just hurts my fucking wrist.
Yup.
Yeah.
That sucks.
Cause that's,
you know,
shooting's big part of what you do.
Yeah.
I deserve it.
I was being a fucking retard though.
I was,
I was riding a mechanical bull in Texas a few years back at NRA.
And,
uh,
somebody told me like,
no, this is Dallas, buddy.
You ride a bull overhand like that.
And apparently that is what they do.
But my other buddy paid the dude five bucks to throw me off at, like, Mach 3.
And that was not a good combo because apparently I just completely shredded
that fucking ligament.
Oh, that sucks.
I didn't know that Dallas had their own style of mechanical bowling.
I think he was talking about real bull riding, not mechanical bulls.
I know, but I'm figuring if everywhere but Dallas was doing that underhand grip,
I trust everywhere else over Dallas.
I only care what Taylor's grandpa thinks about this matter
because he is a
bull riding aficionado. He is
and he would probably defer
to whoever the top five ranked people were
and I do believe
the Brazilians go that lower
traditional underhanded grip
and so do the good Americans. My grandpa
is absolutely obsessed
with bull riding. It's like
he finishes dinner dinner sometimes.
And like,
he just wants to go into like silent grandpa mode.
And like,
he's almost like shuffles,
like gets in there and like gets all set up on his comfy couch.
And then just like sits there and like,
it's,
it's a treat to see him enjoy something so much where it's like,
damn,
it sucks.
I'm from a generation that like,
I need so much stimulation at any given time that like,
even just sitting and watching like a sport I really enjoy is like well but I need to know
what's going on with this well what about what about this what's another thing and so like
yeah that's a trait I'm jealous of and I've thought about in older generations we're like
like you'll look at like an old picture does anybody else think like this right you'll look
at an old picture of people in like 1904 and it's like damn what they do the rest of the day
like what did you you've went home and like read a book and like if04 and it's like damn what they do the rest of the day like what did you
you went home and like read a book and like if you read too much like your parents are probably
like you're rotting your brain with those goddamn books i always get i get stuck on the hygiene i
see an old picture especially like very early like hey this is new york in the 1918s you know
and there's like a couple cars moving around,
a couple horses occupying the same space.
Maybe.
I might have this right.
And women dressed in head-to-toe dresses
and guys wearing hats and jackets.
And I'm like, it's not like it was a lot colder.
They're all sweaty.
And there's no AC in this universe.
Nowhere in New York City is there any air conditioning they're just sweating and they go from one sweaty hot place to another it's probably
hotter indoors with the lack of circulation i bet every fucking year it just smelled like dirty
pussy all the fucking time you know it did everybody's always talking when everybody
somebody someone's like what time would you go back to i'm like fucking yesterday
fucking yesterday because that's the best fucking time ever to live except for you know what
right fucking now right fucking now go jurassic see something just getting devoured yeah probably
some sort of bacteria that that doesn't exist anymore but just immediately infect you you'd be
you'd have a fever and die in three days or some shit. Pre-polio.
Yeah, yeah. God only
fucking knows. I don't have a polio vaccine.
None of us do.
Maybe you would have the more powerful pathogens
from being from the future, and you
are the reason there are no dinosaurs.
I don't think my pathogens would infect a dinosaur,
but I'm just saying, you go back in time to
the Wild West or some shit, anytime
women wore petticoats, that is some smelly ass at it's not like they shaved their ass cracks either this
is a bunch of women with some hairy ass cracks who shit in an outhouse and wiped with corn cobs
and now there's just like corn cob butthole crumbs everywhere dripping into their pussies that are
in this like growing yeast down there like a
fucking bread meal and everything stinks like vo and pussy and and corncob butt crumbs everything
smells like that taylor uh going back to the jurassic era and like oh hey mr t-rex here's
a smallpox blanket please don't eat me well no I would get eaten and then he would have all my diseases.
Ah, I see.
That's how it would go. I wonder if Taylor's brain
is bigger than a T-Rex.
Oh, definitely.
I mean, it is a big animal.
No, but they were notoriously...
I mean,
am I mistaking the dinosaurs?
That is the big one.
The biggest meteor, right?
Even amongst dinosaurs, didn't they have a laughably
small brain?
All the other dinosaurs would make fun of them because they
couldn't read dinosaurs.
Oh my god.
It was the size of two or three walnuts.
We all have larger brains than...
What an idiot. Speak for yourself.
I don't think Taylor's brain is bigger than our brain, just to be clear.
It might be because my head's bigger. I don't think Taylor's brain is bigger than our brain, just to be clear. It might be because my head's bigger.
I don't think that's...
My cranial capacity, maybe my CCs.
I think it's the same brain.
It's just sloshing around and a lot of extra stuff.
Why would we have different size heads and the exact same size brain?
How big do you think your brain is?
Bigger than yours.
There's no way. There's no way you have an same size brain. How big do you think your brain is? Bigger than yours. There's no way.
There's no way you have an extra large brain.
He does.
Oh, you think he just has more cranial fluid?
I think it's...
You think he has a thicker Homer Simpson skull?
First of all, I don't think his head is actually
all that bigger than ours.
All right, now we're going to have...
Oh, Kyle, you're just adorable thinking that.
Do you have a tape measure handy?
Kyle, can you move small objects with your mind?
You move an object with your mind, I'll buy it.
Do you have a tape measure handy?
Pieces of paper in a windy room.
In a windy room.
Now you need to get
cat scans.
And somewhere around here.
Huge centimeters of your fucking brain brain I have a tape measure I can go get if you have one
I know I have
One of those measuring things
But I don't know where it is
Fair enough, fair enough
I've used it on my phrenology stream
And I can't find my helper either
I made a mistake on T-Rex size
But it still holds
It averaged about half the size of an adult human brain.
Okay.
All right.
What are some other...
It's half the size of Taylor's.
Yes.
Precisely.
All right.
Call it a wrap?
Yep.
Brandon, we really appreciate you coming on,
especially on such short notice.
I'm glad I was able to get a hold of you.
Had a great time. Glad you came on, man.
I appreciate it. It's a, it's really awesome. Thanks for reaching out.
Yeah. We've got to get you on again soon. Where can everybody find you?
Please don't.
Smartest guest we've ever met, man. Yeah, this is, this is brilliant. I love that. All right. Well, your links will be in the description, like it or not.
PKA 539.
They all link to Hickok's channel.