Painkiller Already - PKA 540 w GoldenBoyFTW - EDP445 Fully Exposed, Bigfoot, Jake Paul vs Askren
Episode Date: April 27, 2021...
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painkiller ready episode 540 with our guest golden boy taylor
this episode of pk is brought to you by blue chew and smart mouth couple of wonderful sponsors
we've got alex with us tonight and we were all getting ahead of ourselves you know before we
started the show wanting to talk about this eat that pussy 445 uh drama hell yeah you know like
alex and i were both kind of on the same page of like yeah i
didn't really know who this was the the most i've ever heard about this guy is him being a pedophile
in the last 48 hours that's it but based on the amount of pure videos and huge youtubers like uh
like penguinzo whatever his name is like they're all these videos of like 10 million views it's
insane so he was one of those guys i think Wings, where his fame was bigger than his channel set.
You know, in that way.
Like people had seen his like meme videos.
So, yeah, Kyle, you want to, first of all, you're looking tremendous tonight.
Oh, thank you very much.
Yes.
Good gosh.
Feeling awful.
Just feeling real sick.
It doesn't matter how you feel, Kyle.
It matters how you look.
Dress the way you want to feel.
Dress the way you want to feel dress the way
you'd like you to feel i'd like to feel not like i'm going to die in the next six hours hey at
least it's not so i dressed that way small miracles yeah feeling real sick um yeah yeah so uh it was
funny um alex here was like so so who's edp what's what's he best known for? Well, as of late, it's the rape
of young women.
He's most notable
for his child
predatory actions.
I'm up to speed. Is he a child predator
or an attempted child predator?
My man
doesn't attempt anything.
He does. He's a doer, Woody.
False leak used. My apologies my apologies edp if you watch
this uh i didn't mean to imply you couldn't score with the teenagers jesus christ you attempted
podcast host no hell no you do that shit you wake up and you're a podcast host every fucking
thursday night here you are buckled and ready to go that's how edp is with child predation yeah and
and based on the way like i didn't read all the logs but this was not his first time dipping his
toe in the pedo pool like he has he's got a season pass he's the lance armstrong of child buggery
he's got a season
oh god we thought those... Oh, God.
We thought those numbers at the end of his name were random.
No, that was his age range.
Four to five.
That's his fucking score.
445 so far.
Yeah, it's real dark.
It is ghoulish.
It is ghoulish.
And we often talk about how, like,
you know, you've really got to be careful when you call someone a pedophile.
We're kind of sensitive about the P word because sometimes these guys will end up with a 17-year-old girl or something.
Who looks awful.
Pedophile.
And it's like, all right, first of all, that girl is a literal runway model.
You're talking about an actual model here. And she's 17. She is not a child. He is not a pedophile. So legally consenting. What are we doing? Right. But here we are in a situation where, and I don't want to get the
numbers wrong because the numbers are so important sometimes, especially when you're like 18 to 17,
17 to 16. It's like, oh oh things just swung a lot you know
things just changed a lot um i think this girl's 13 or 14 that's the main focus yeah it was like
he's 30 and she like well it's a made-up girl he's only 30 the made-up girl was 13
so are you serious you're 30 yeah i saw in the chat it said like haha I'm 30 and you're only 13 it's a crazy age gap
I want to suck my cock or whatever
but like
there's stuff like that in there
imagine all the nasty shit I could teach you with my
17 years of extra life experience
could literally be her father
yeah wouldn't be that scandalous
it wouldn't be
where's her fake father letting her chat online
to these women?
And he knows.
According to these screenshots, he calls himself
daddy, so it's making a lot of sense.
And he is
a rough-looking 30.
He looks terrible.
He looks...
Did you watch the video? He's behind me right now.
Oh, wait. Is that him i mean he gets confronted by the uh the guy he's the here's how i'm sorry golden but did you want to say something go for it go for it go for it here's how i knew of him
before this incident wings of redemption was trying to lose weight i think he put it out there
making kind of a a public effort i'm going to do this in the, in the public light, public eye and drop weight. And then
EDP reaches out to him and says, Hey man, I've lost a bunch of weight. I've been where
you are. And now look at me, I can help you. And wings of redemption said, no, I don't
want your help. And he's like, dude, shit hurts. Like why, why would you turn me down
in the way that you did? You could have done it nicer.
And I misquoted him, got myself in trouble.
But that's the guy.
He's the guy that I think is known for offering Wings of Redemption weight loss advice.
He's like, yeah, I just dropped 70 pounds myself.
I threw her in the river.
They'll never find the body.
But to see him in taylor's picture
behind him huh he's a weight loss coach you say yeah he he's at night and steals your fat from
what do you see is like the full like profile of this gentleman what do you see that picture's a
bit deceiving you might look at that and say obese or morbidly obese but you'd be wrong okay what's worse are you saying that picture's
flattering that picture is very flattering that that is showing that we're we're at like
farm animal levels of you know what this is his best angle but a sphere only has one angle
it's like you know when you look at saturn like
that it's kind of rotund yeah that's my bad side yeah like when they when they catch him i didn't
watch the whole video but the guy in the blue shirt who's part of the like gotcha like the
budget chris hansen stuff he's like hey want to come over here and like just as difficult like
as he was like breathing clearly knowing like
oh no people are gonna know i'm a pedophile the jig is up like him walking to sit down somewhere
like he had to go sit down on a curb so they could tell him you did it just right it's this thing
it's this like it's this one shuffling weight from one foot to the other it's like it's like
it's like how people on stilts walk now How it's like from here to there to here.
There's no gate.
The momentum of their fat to go back.
It's like, have you ever seen them move with ropes, those Easter Island things?
Yes.
Yes.
This guy's so fat, that's how he walks.
Can we see the video?
That's a reference that so few of us will get, but it's perfect.
That's how you know it's good.
I need to see what's up okay so big thanks
to uh urban uh who does the pkn timelines he took like hours of videos that are out there or maybe
one big video and he edited it down to like the best juiciest 15 or 16 minutes don't worry we're
not going to sit here and watch 16 minutes of it. Unless it's all as juicy as the first 30 seconds that I watched just to make sure that the video was going to play and
everything. Cause I was spellbound. I was locked in for those of you who normally maybe are audio
listeners, maybe pop this shit in on your phone or, or like, you know, uh, head home to the laptop
or something. Cause, cause you might want to see this video.
All right.
So, Goldie, are you queued up?
Do you have the video?
Oh, I don't have the video up right now.
Where should I?
It's right here in the chat.
Oh, it's in the chat.
Okay, I see it.
So we go to zero.
I'll say one, two, three, play.
And on play, we'll hit the button.
Okay.
I'm excited about what's coming yeah
this is gonna be good and you know what's coming
EDP oh you guys right ready messy he said play
no I'm gonna say we were Sophie the whole time. Okay. So if you want this to go well, I recommend you have a talk with us, okay?
Okay, cool.
He's already out of breath.
Standing there.
Let's go have a talk.
Come on off that bench right there.
Dude, that other guy's covered in catching pedophiles.
Hard work.
Hard work.
Man, I know.
I know that feeling, honestly.
Okay.
He's like, what, no knuckles? You have the messages right here. I have 84 feeling honestly Okay
The messages right here on 84 messages, okay, so
We have you talking to Sophie correct? Yes or no, right? Okay. Sophie is how old before and again I have it right here I know the answer but I just need you to tell me the answer how old the shoe 13 13
Okay, and before we get into the messages there was sexual right
up in my involved yes or no right and you said correct okay all right so it's like he's trying
to move past it again what brings you out here today right the green well how was uh coming out
here to glasses off glasses on me is really taking instruction well. I'm here to pick up a cupcake and then go back home. I believe it.
There was, you know, nothing that was, you know, want to be sexual involved because I'm not like that.
You know, well, obviously the text messages and stuff like that, you know what I mean?
Except for that evidence you got there.
I mean, homie's standing there with a load of paper, so like that.
You should title the video, it says, you know, your video almost beforehand with a 13 year old. You should title your video almost with a load of paper so like that
You should title your video almost with a 13 year old I think that'll get a lot of hits EDP I think so
So who is this guy 141. Yeah, 141. Who's the guy in the blue shirt?
He seems to be the head of the... He's our Chris Hansen wannabe, right?
Okay.
I don't remember the name.
There was actually a name for the group
or the association that he is with.
They are some sort of established thing.
Predator Poachers.
Predator Poachers, see?
Oh, okay.
So now it makes sense.
The search is EDP 445 Predator Poachers. Yeah? So now it makes sense to search as EDP 445
Predator Poachers. Yeah, this is the head poacher
himself. Okay.
This is Rascal
McGovern's head
poacher at
predatorpoachers.org. Please tell me
his name is Rascal McGovern.
Rascal McGovern, that's his name.
I know, right? Off the top of my
head.
That's good. I'm going to make a character named Rascal McGovern's that's his name I know right off the top of my head that's good I'm gonna make a character named Rascal McGovern
to be Rascal McGovern's
I was really ready for that
I quite like it
it's crazy I mean a guy named Rascal
absolutely either is a
pedophile or works to catch them
yep
it's literally both.
He used to be one.
He's like Dexter, where he goes in and learns how to not get caught.
Yeah.
Like, man, you know, this rape, this pedophile Dexter
isn't nearly as likable as the murderer.
Like, he acquires all of his child pornography
by catching and killing other child pornographers.
That way way it's
okay.
I don't think Showtime can dream like that one. I don't think Showtime can give
the blessing for that show. Can you imagine
the little montage at the beginning?
It's a cum splatter analysis.
Oh, that's
even better. He's a cum splatter
analyst.
Oh, God.
Standing across the room from the eight-year-old.
This man had some lock and load.
This is an enormous.
All right, well, we need to check and see.
So this is all interview, okay?
This video.
I want more.
I want more of this.
You guys ready?
I need to see where Rascal takes this conversation.
Yeah, and I do like intermittently pausing it so we can riff. I want more of this. You guys ready? I need to see where Rascal takes this conversation.
Yeah.
And I do like intermittently pausing it so we can riff.
I'm at 141.
Yeah, 141 as well.
Ready, set, play.
Why are you attracted to like 13 years?
Why are you attracted to underage?
Because you clearly said in one of the screenshots that you've always wanted to be with someone younger.
Are you like fantasized about being with someone younger?
Right, right.
And you're scared of the sting operation?
Right, right.
What goes through your head?
What makes this okay for you?
Because this is disgusting.
It's real, man.
What goes on is loneliness, dude.
I'll be completely honest with you, man.
I'm not going to **** you. I'm not gonna f*** you. I'm not gonna shoot you.
And then when you say specifically, I've always fantasized about someone younger.
It just cut him flat out.
You did say that correct? Yes or no?
Urban decided that.
That you fantasized about someone younger.
What is that fantasy? Because it's not just loneliness.
You know what it is man.
We honestly, we really don't.
Yeah, go ahead.
We're not like that. We're not like that. We're not attracted to you.
Come on, man. You know exactly what it is.
No, we're attracted to female our own age, dude.
Let this be known. Let this be known. I am not a.
So what are you? What are you then? If you're here to meet up with a 13-year-old girl after sending your cake to her then what do you call it then i am a guy that is a european a fine taste french i mean as a
commentator i know exactly how his mind is trying to work right now he's like trying to process
everything and then like come up with appropriate answers he's got a lot of filler words that he's like trying to process everything and then like come up with appropriate words that he's using right now okay there's just nowhere to go from
Joe there is no money oh yeah get wrong Kenny video yeah nice well you know the
inertia if you were not just throw that gun my raise a fucking okay she did not
raise creep or I know what the. Okay. I'm aware of that. I'm looking right at him. Okay.
Did someone else raise him? I'm trying to make sense of this all.
Oh, that's fine.
That was great.
Come on, rascal. What's that question?
We're not here for your family. We're here for you.
I will say this. Thank you. Thank you, Petrov.
The two guys are very, very bad on camera.
Yeah, this is me being a,
you know, camera guy myself.
Let me tell you something.
Yeah, it's terribly framed.
It's just everything about it is just like even the guys like they're.
Yeah, it looks like I feel like they're the way that they're acting
is almost like really forced, you know, like the two guys.
And then also there's
For four I'm at 412. Oh actually actually, you know to get the full fat show go to 405 Roger that you guys ready
Yep, let's see the fat joke. Ready, set, play. everything in that sorry you know what i mean like that's the part where i'm not picking up on i i
genuinely don't know what you mean cool fantasies that's what i'm good okay so i'm not calling you
the p word if you know what i'm talking if you know what i mean i'm not calling you the p word
but you do fantasize about females under the age of 16 yes or no sometimes yes okay do you
fan obviously you fantasize about a 13 year old, correct? Yes or no? Correct.
Okay. So-
Right.
As a 13 year old. So, when was the first time you fantasized about a 12 year old?
No, lower. That's disgusting.
Never.
Yeah, let's move.
So- so 13 year old. So again, when was the first time you fantasized about a 12 year old?
Never.
Okay, so 13 is the youngest.
Well, I was probably 11.
Okay. So, why 13 but not 12?
I don't know.
Okay.
And that's the truth.
Okay.
Not mine, James.
Like, so if Sophie was 12, what would have been your response?
That's an awful question.
I'm sorry.
Obviously, you like that ass, right?
What does he expect him to say there?
So, I mean, what?
A guy doesn't.
I mean, that's what you're saying.
Right, right.
Exactly.
So, you know, it's 13-year-olds aren't developed.
Windy alley, bunch of idiots.
So, is part of it that they're underdeveloped?
Is that a turn-on to you when you're thinking about that stuff?
No.
Really?
No, I don't turn on at all.
So, what made you send her a video of you, you know, doing it?
I don't know, man.
Okay.
Well, that's a crime, by the way.
I don't know.
What censor board are we afraid
of in this video where they're like yeah right I mean I'm not a lawyer or anything I'm just
letting you know because we've done this so so many times oh you're not a lawyer
good to know right here in one of these screenshots did you did you that's Petrov
Galil you did I mean you got the screenshots of course i did but like why would you send it to a 13 year old like and that's proof he was horny
the guy with the chest mounted gopro not attorney in a graphic photo you were you were hard when you
were doing obviously yes or no so you can't jerk it off right exactly So what are you going to do? You can't jerk at salt.
You can't possibly be flat in here.
I can't believe this.
If you guys want to or not,
she said that she was going to make me a cupcake.
I was going to take the cupcake and go home.
That's the truth.
Lured him with cupcakes.
Wow.
He drove like 30, 40.
That's his cover story no he's just there
for the cup we've got a dozen crispy creams in it for you if you come on the show next week
was there a draw hey i'm i'm bringing cupcakes was that the the fake sophie's draw yeah apparently
she said she was baking cupcakes for him and he says he's there just for the confectionaries
But he also said he was eating off of her
I'm here to bake goods
As a little girl pussy, alright? I ain't no pedophile
Little girl pussy and cupcakes, that's my game
How long is this video? so listen man i'm gonna listen i'm gonna be real with you guys okay obviously man you got the
screenshots right there right yep obviously you got the screenshots right how long is this video
how long is the original two hours sweet god what i'm going to do all right
is go get help because obviously i need it so if we went to cops right now would you still
get help better closer with the phone man he's not even answering if we went to cops right now, would you still get help?
You're closer with the phone, man.
He's not even answering.
If we went to the cops, would you still go get help?
Or is that like your little deal to us? If you don't call the cops, I'll get help.
Because what's on the outside shouldn't matter.
It's what's on the inside that counts, obviously, in your case, too.
What's all people need?
Would you get help regardless if we got the cops or not?
Yes.
Okay.
And right here you say, I lose my youtube channel, but I go to jail
My reputation is ruined my life would be completely in shambles and you still came because you were that hungry
for
Cupcake and a 13 year old should should we just call you the horny horny hippo or what?
Just wants to make jokes.
Yeah, favorite part of the rest is not going to type five here.
He had that cute up in the back of his head.
He practiced it in front of a mirror.
I hear you.
Right. And then they ask, we're going to love this one.
What do you think?
What is going to get all the likes in this video?
It would not be fun.
Yeah, they would eat that boy pussy 445 times. That's not yeah. No, I don't think nobody want to hear that
So I really want to taste your
Guy
Yeah, why are you saying it like that?
It makes it worse
It is where you are what you eat. I guess eat that key, you know
But you know what I want to taste it? The censoring is hilarious.
This is a sick joke.
What does this have to do with the pedophile company?
I'm really here for the dron video.
This is the roast of EDP by Rask and McGovern.
Is it possible that I can get some water?
McGovern's, bro.
Yeah, where's the water at?
I'll get it.
I'll get it.
Yeah, we're almost done.
What are you going to do?
Did you ever ask for that?
He's got a couple more jokes here.
What's the deal with fat people?
You know what that's called, right?
No, what's it called?
That's called...
I think their camera died, so...
Yeah, yeah, so...
GoPro footage.
They were also a little bit submissive to it.
Why are they doing that?
I don't know.
You were a little bit submissive to it, yes or no?
I was.
Do you have a fantasy?
You did admit you fantasized about 13-year-olds, yes or no?
Did the audio just get much
better? They just changed phones.
I think they're filming this on a
Samsung, I'm pretty sure.
They literally just changed phones.
Alex noticed me.
I own the phone.
I could tell them the video quality.
You have a great opportunity ahead of you to catch pedophiles.
Yeah.
Rascal McGovern's man.
You know,
he's my friend.
Just write a couple of jokes to get chest mounted GoPro.
You're in business.
It's going in front of a mirror.
It's just game plan.
A few jokes. It's a easy rap, you know? Yeah. You's go in front of a mirror and just game plan a few jokes. It's an easy
rap, you know?
I love it. Come to
your house, climb through your window as if
that would have fit.
Oh, another
pet joke.
Dude, this is what you said.
I know, I know. I say a lot
as far as I was not going to talk to you.
Yeah, your honor honor who would believe
i'd climb through a window throw you in the back of my car and bring you back to my dungeon
then you sent a picture of what looks to be a piece of burnt charcoal which turned out to be your
and yeah, that's
he just insulted his dick. Yep.
I didn't do you any favors with getting females
by the way, but so
this is what's going to be inside you, but
I'll take it slow as promised. So again,
you want to also take
rascal nose
knows all the ways. He doesn't just
try out jokes in front of the mirror.
He tries out pickup lines as well.
He's always on.
This fucking weirdo.
This is embarrassing.
This is creepy.
He's about to cry because they caught him.
This is the lowest of the low.
And you also talk about a foot.
Oh yeah.
It's interesting the censorship in this.
Do you wanna look at 13 year old-
13 year old girl's feet, yes or no?
Could be because of the YouTube algorithm, probably.
I'd imagine.
He just asked,
do you wanna look at 13 year old's feet, yes or no?
He's like, did I say that in the transcript?
I guess so!
What is like-
But did you want the 13 year old-
Hey, get closer.
Did you want the 13 year old licking your
feet or are you licking her feet what do you typically like please answer i don't know i'm
never gonna speak but you were interested to look at 13 year old girl's feet this guy's lost the
plot he really has like he's in a different direction now now he's trying to get he's
trying to get likes that's all he's trying to do at this point he's just trying to get likes. That's all he's trying to do
at this point. He's trying to get
advice.
He's trying to get EDP to cry.
Please.
Call the cops. Explain what's going on.
Explain to the cops what you're doing here,
why you came out, and what you did.
Damn, they're breaking EDP down.
Look at the size of that shirt.
It's car cover.
Please, please.
Come on, man.
No, no, no.
Please, please.
This is disgusting.
This is like sadist type of stuff.
You know what a sadist is?
What's stopping me from pressing the green button?
This is like sadist type of... You know what a sadist is? You guys, what's stopping me from pressing the green button? What's stopping me? This is like
sadist type of stuff.
He keeps saying sadist, but I'm not seeing it.
He's gonna send evidence to the police.
This is not like...
Is it that or does he have 911 dial?
It could be that too.
That makes more sense you said you want to climb through her window you said you want to punish her you send graphic photos you asked for graphic photos and here you are walking to
the apartment no the cupcake store what's stopping you can i make you guys a promise
i have a phone in my pocket right okay and you threatened by the way you threatened the 13 year We're negotiating.
Let him talk.
He threatened her as well?
I don't remember.
Oh dear.
You're not going to get help.
You had plenty of chances to get help. Every single time you got exposed for it, Oh dear. And I guess he's done sketchy stuff in the past too.
This is not a good thing.
Rack little Plano shit. This is not okay. Oh, he called.
And he really has no chance to flee.
Yeah.
He has to just hope they get bored.
Damn, he's been six times, six separate occasions.
He's been...
That's just not good, dude. Yeah. Half a dozen times, six separate occasions, he's been... Man, that's just not good, dude.
He's right in the front.
Half a dozen times, shame on me.
He's making his escape right now.
Is this the getaway chase scene?
This guy's a creep.
He's messaging minors.
He's hitting up minors. he's doing all this disgusting stuff.
Well I'm glad he lost all that weight.
What did he look like before?
Mark meets in Bakersfield, California.
There's more black today because he's swimming.
He needs more black.
Yeah, he was wearing swimming.
Dude, those were the best clothes he could find for his date with a 13 year old.
This is just date EDP.
He's all dressed up for middle school.
Or maybe he really wanted some cupcakes, you know?
I don't know.
Cupcake eating attire, perhaps.
He's pocket full of Pokemon cards and gel pens.
I kinda want a shirt like that.
I wonder if it would be kind of fun to wear it.
I'm going to jail.
You are right.
People in jail hate pedophiles, I've heard.
Dude, would it be funny if I bought like a
quintuple X shirt like that?
With EDP for Christmas or Halloween?
That's got like seven X's in front of it.
Oh, there it wraps.
Watch out.
He's going to his car.
Watch out for what?
The fissures in the concrete.
Dude.
And now we also have some of these text messages that he sent, I guess.
Oh.
Yeah.
And like I was scrubbing through the video.
It was like this girl talking for like two hours about the whole transcripts it was taking forever so i was just like scrubbing through
looking at the sidebar and reading it on my own and not all of them were even sexed like there
was a lot of that but there was one where like the the the bait girl was like hey what are you doing
and he's like just took a monster shit haha and then he
sent a picture of a his shit oh no the toilet like a big freaky fat holy crap and she's like
haha and it's like okay that should be your first clue this isn't a real 13 year old
girl that you're sending pictures of your feces to also who would who would just think to send a picture of their feces
over uh over a text like that just seems so yeah it's a real it's a real pedophile moment
just dear god man these people oh and he was like sending dick pics talking about like oh it won't
hurt i'll go in slow oh oh like Is that in these messages that Kyle sent?
No, it's not in those.
You have to go to.
I can't believe this.
He goes, kiss your daddy goodnight, lol.
Sleep tight, princess.
And he includes a photo of himself where he's.
Most flattering angle, really.
It's, yeah, yeah.
He looks a little bit like
daniel cormier from this angle yeah i see it yeah and then um then he sent some kissy photos
a little typo in the emoji oh yeah the fact that you can control me make me your yours you just
have complete and total power over me and the girl this, this 13 year old girl, I, or someone posing as
one. No, I think it's actually a 13 year old girl says, Oh man, I'm going to enjoy this very much.
You make me feel some kind of way. Right. Okay. And then he says, same here. You drive me crazy
beyond control. I want you to have mind control over me. Totally abuse me. Treat me like the
naughty boy I've been. And here's where I take objection.
He wasn't being a sadist.
He was being a masochist.
The dude got his terms wrong.
That's the real sin here.
Kiss me, please.
I'm actually finding stories on it right now.
I've just been searching online.
Like any outlets that maybe have picked it up or whatever.
Yeah.
Nothing states what has
happened to him since though.
Yeah, I have no idea.
This is kind of interesting. So he sends her
a picture of a flashlight.
And he says to her,
so pretty much I stick my
dick, so pretty much I stick my
cock slash dick inside of here
and it's supposed
do you need a slash there?
not supposed
supposed to feel like a vagina
and this is interesting because you've got to
interpret this, think about what he's written here
I doubt it
but it feels amazing
you lube it up and you
stroke, alright, think about what yeah i get what you're
coming from uh-huh it's clear he's a virgin he doesn't know what a vagina feels like he knows
what a flashlight feels like but he doesn't he says this is supposed to feel like a vagina but
i doubt it as in he doesn't have any confirmation what a vagina feels like. I mean, for someone his size,
I would imagine sex is literally mechanically impossible.
There's just no angles for someone that fat to do it.
You make it happen.
I would imagine you'd just make it happen.
I think Taylor is trying to say
that these girls are safe.
That there was no threat posed and EDP is innocent.
That's what Taylor is getting at.
Taylor is like a pedophile who's really into crossfit
we caught you and he's just
we're pouring away god we'll never catch him doing shitty pull-ups along the way
he's a brilliant criminal mastermind yeah so like he did say that that's a really good pickup kyle
because i i didn't catch that but i think you're right i think he is a virgin and that he didn't know what vagina feels like
and he just like responding to things like what she said what you doing i have this sex toy it's
called a flat is called a fleshlight and i am fucking it you know it's funny when he was saying
why are you here why are you here and he's like you know you know do you like kids he's like the subtext i was picking up that whole time was that he didn't really have
his choice of girls and that he was taking whatever he could get and no one else said
anything like that but that's how i interpreted it add this virgin evidence on there and i think
that the reason he's going for these kids is that he's having more success with them than he is like 21 year olds maybe i i don't know uh that could very well be true that he's going for kids because
i i've done some research i've been digging on this nice by the way i'm sorry if i've been silent
uh no okay so the guy's name and kyle i think you're really going to enjoy this. Uh,
his name is Chet Goldstein.
Oh,
Chet.
Pretty good.
Wait,
the guy in the blue shirt.
Yeah.
His name is Chet Goldstein.
So not too far from what would you say?
Rascal McGovern.
Yeah.
Uh,
interestingly enough though,
uh,
apparently he has also,
since this has gone out been uh embroiled in controversy of
his own because there's video footage of him saying uh uh some uh he had claimed he said
when referring to a three-year-old the oh no he said however even goldstein has since been
embroiled in his own controversy after saying on video i provide her with plenty of the just not the vitamin part
when referring to a three-year-old uh now then there's also a video of him and i'll share it
with you guys it's him uh like him using like saying the n-word uh like hard r type stuff like
some some other racist stuff quite interesting not rascal mcgovern's
not rascal mcgovern's dude hold steen hey guys rascal mcgovern's here you may have seen a video
of my alter ego chet now chet said some very borderline things and i think you all understand
chet is just a character okay it's obviously a fake name you know nascar in the front finance in the back
would never co-sign those terrible things that chet was saying
anyway i i just found that to be quite interesting and and then obviously i'm still looking for what
the hell happened to this guy.
Like, where the hell is he?
I mean, obviously, the dude's a monster.
It needs to be freaking taken off of the streets, like, immediately.
But dear God, man.
EDP or Rascal?
Oh, no, EDP.
I mean.
Oh, okay.
You know, I have a thing where I feel like if your name is Eat the Pussy,
I feel like, you know, probably
you know, probably not nothing's
good coming out of there. You know what I mean?
And apparently he was
an Eagles fan, I guess. He's known for like being
a sports... Oh, that's the last straw.
Yeah, he's a... Boy, yeah. How dare he?
You know? But yeah,
I'm looking at like his stuff. I'm like
trying to go deep down the rabbit hole
to find like more information.
Getting all Inspector Gadget over here.
I'm a little torn.
We're riding this guy for being named EDP.
I'm over here literally named Woody.
Am I in some sort of trouble here?
Yeah, but you're fine.
You would never go to meet up with a 13-year-old
unless they challenge you to a fist fight online.
Or just a 1v1 on Rust.
I don't know. I don't know.
No, we're not doing any of that gross stuff you're talking about.
We're just going to fight.
Excuse me. Meet me in front of the target.
We're going to fight right now.
Okay.
Like I told you in those messages.
The activity. Not for anything anything are you oiled up there's a document like documentary from 10 or 8 months ago posted on youtube
that's called edp 445 the birth of a predator and like now there's a bunch of comments on there
like age like wine how did you you know you made a 40 minute documentary nine months ago about this.
And now it's coming out.
Like what I'm curious about is obviously this is getting a lot of attention.
But like how did it happen six, five times, I guess, prior to this and nothing happened where it's like, ah, you caught me again.
I was talking to a teen year old, not a 12 year old.
That's disgusting.
A 13 year old not a 12 year old that's disgusting a 13 year old true rascal mcgovern's wasn't on the case before you just had like people just trying to expose
him and like like it seemed like i saw this one clip of him and i'm gonna paraphrase because i
don't want to drag the good name of edp through the mud or anything i'll just know that i'm
paraphrasing a bit but i guess what had happened happened was some 13, 14-year-old had been messaging him back and forth.
And then when things didn't go her way or maybe he didn't want to do something for her, then she uploaded the screenshots and such.
And then I saw a video of him going on this rant like like streaming
from his phone i don't know what platform um but anyway he's streaming and he's all irate he's just
like these little 15 16 year old whores out there just giving that slinging that pussy just giving that, slinging that pussy, just giving it away to whoever wants it.
These little dirty whores twerking and showing their assholes.
Like, they want to message a big time YouTuber and then just upload the screenshots like it's evidence or something.
Well, fuck you.
And it's just like, dude, you just did the prosecutor's job for them.
They don't even have to
make this video for us.
How long is this response video?
It's a minute. It was like a minute and a half.
Yeah.
Boys, I'm down the rabbit hole.
You did this to me, okay?
Good shit.
Can we watch the response video?
It's from yesterday. It's super current.
I mean, all you need is audio only on this one.
Well, it was uploaded yesterday.
Who knows?
Yeah, I guess it was a couple days ago.
It looks like it was filmed.
This video looks like it was filmed 15 years ago.
Are you guys ready?
Yeah.
Off of Nintendo 64.
Are we all queued up, Golden?
Yeah.
Yeah, I'm ready.
Ready, set, play.
And they decided to screenshot the shit and record it and all this extra bullshit.
And fucking look at him being a pedophile.
Bro, let me tell you something, dog, OK?
Let's hear it.
Do you honestly think, right?
Right.
I don't even know why I'm explaining myself to people, but unfortunately, niggas are fucking retarded.
Can't use that word. Do you honestly think
that through all the
bullshit I've been through,
you know what I mean? Wendy's taking away the
bacon name.
The rib witch
going away again. Every year
big rib trauma.
You know what I mean? The cowboy whopper
leaving for some. I have two beautiful, loving,
caring goddamn friends. I have two beautiful, loving, caring goddamn friends.
I have two fucking goddaughters
who are some of the most adorable fucking
things ever.
I just
dropped 60 grand upon a fucking
car. Do you honestly think
that I would sit back and
throw away my life
for some punk ass
that barely even has fucking fucking heroin her motherfucking pussy
Probably doesn't even for a bitch that probably never even heard of the fucking Pythagorean theorem
Come on nigga for real
Think so She can count to 100. That's not cool. Come on, nigga. For real? Is that what he said?
I think so.
Isn't that A squared plus B squared?
I'm sorry, dude.
You motherfuckers need Jesus.
Do you have a weapon?
What does he have there?
Is it a vacuum cleaner?
That's what I thought I saw.
I thought I saw the bottom of a 12 gauge.
I hope it's a vacuum cleaner.
He's got a shotgun. You're right. Oh, God. He's got a shotgun.
You're right.
Oh, God.
He's made a statement with that.
Watch out, Chet Goldstein.
That is the worst defense.
I've seen a lot of people use that defense.
UFC fighters, when they're getting caught,
do you honestly think that after getting caught for steroids, I would do steroids again?
Really? Who would do that?
That's too stupid so
that's the defense he used it it's like yes yes i i think actually you're more likely to do it
having been caught the first time because you're an idiot because you're the kind of person that
does that yeah i think you're retarded i hate i hate when people do that as well like it
like so i used to work with folks who had developmental disabilities and stuff and
you can't drop that right after i say retarded oh i know you didn't but the point i meant
i always i just like when people apologize for me that as as a, as a way of, uh, like deflection,
you know,
like I'll go to something because they feel like that is the most extreme
use of the word.
And then they'll do that as an,
in an attempt to try and like,
you know,
uh,
expunge them of any kind of wrongdoing or something like that.
I always hate that.
And that's how,
you know,
when someone's like guilty right out of the gate,
you just see their body language and their,
and the words that they use,
like how they explain it. Like the whole time he was talking he and guys like you know uh
mccoven's just looking at him right and just talking to him and he's thinking the whole time
what are they going to be the things i need to spin how do i say this you know i mean he got
caught in 4k man you know yeah he was so caught i felt like he thought well the way to get out of this is a
little honesty right i'll admit this much and negotiate an improved version of me you know so
did you write this well we both know i did you know do you think 13 year olds are hot like yeah
we we both know i do and it's gonna go on a soundboard and then uh and then uh you know he's
like but i promise i will go get help it was like he
was trying to solve the problem right there when those guys were not interested in solving any
problems yeah this guy chet mcgovern's version of to catch a predator really walks the line between
to catch a predator and like let's make a deal yes there was one point where i'm like he they
might let him go if they.
I'll call a service that helps me and then we can end this right here.
That was his.
I don't know.
That was his tactic for getting out of this whole mess.
Should have been like officer.
I'm being accosted by people in public.
They've planted information on my digital devices.
I don't know what to do.
Trying to get money out of me.
Yeah.
Or he said, oh, I own a $60 sixty thousand dollar car i'm not interested in children it's like he did he say that no he said
oh really you i just spent sixty thousand dollars in the car and you think i'm gonna throw all this
away and i'm accidentally articulating it too well you know he was of any response or apology video
it was awful scene that's the that is bar none the worst one
and it was literally a non he didn't even apologize i don't know if he even noticed like
that's probably why he took it down uh because yeah he didn't even apologize he he literally
just said i will never do this stuff uh what what are you you stupid i'll never do that i just bought
a sixty thousand dollar car uh fuck out of here and then just walked away and then that was that you could yeah there was even a little hint
of what i was describing earlier where he's like mad at the girl for like like like like the
imaginary yeah yeah yeah yeah victim blaming yeah exactly he's like victim he's like these he's like
calling these girls stupid and like she don't even have any hair on her pussy and it's just like dude you do not know how to defend yourself yeah like you're insulting a
girl for being too young now like what yeah for not being old enough that you should have
approached and like you like this is armchair psychologist like like yeah that's never stopped
us but like really you hit the nail on the head with the whole like he i think he is a virgin thing i reread that and i think you're right it seems like he was probably
a big fat guy his whole life and so no any i know shocking and so like he probably didn't have any
experience getting laid in his teens or 20s like like kind of having a normal sexual development
and so he got to the point where it's like now he's just like angry at all women where it's like oh fucking women and and these it's like these whores are trying to tempt me and
you know can i get on a limb here and say i i think maybe he's i think there is a chance he's
not a pedophile you think i only say that because of what we just uncovered with the virginity
i think that he's so desperate just to get laid that he's he that he thinks like
all right i'm never gonna get a woman but maybe i could convince man a sixty thousand dollar car
to a child is like a bazillion dollars like i've got. Oh, you think that's a lot of debt?
You can play the music.
The kids always know when I'm coming to the neighborhood.
Oh, you think that's a lot of debt?
What are you?
I mean, seeing the interest rate.
Look at me.
18.9 APR I am I feel like at his level of subs and like internet fame he
could have gotten like some girl in her 20s that was like obsessed with his
content he could have gotten someone who really changes sex for money that's the
way that's the way he goes here you overflowing with 18 year old girls when you make gaming stuff no there you go
okay like you've got to like make some like look there are people in the gaming space who who were
it's that percentage thing right like like all right you've got a million viewers
so like one percent of one percent of one percent of that are going to be both women
and want to get with you. So you need
millions and millions of views if you're in the gaming sphere. And there are guys who do it.
There are guys who get, you know, like a hundred million, 200 million views every quarter or
something like that in the gaming circle. It's like, yeah, there's a lot of women in this. It's
like, yeah, no shit. You're getting that 1% of one percent of one percent and the numbers are just so big that's still a hundred women girls yeah yeah yeah like shit
you're getting so many views that that equates to 30 hot girls that want to get with you because
you're good at cod this guy i don't remember how big edp was at his height i i don't know what he
is about 550 yeah about 550 i would say there was one part
in that video where i believe he was going to come they cut him off but he was like i just lost 60
and then it cuts i'm guessing those pounds man this is him 60 down i mean he could lose uh
we're not i shouldn't say easier but it is easier yeah for sure yeah like you know you lose
as you're because i was i was pretty big when i had to do this show and i had lost like in a month
i'd lost like almost 20 pounds just cardio when you're edp size you lose 50 pounds cutting salt
you take a shit you lose 15 20 pounds like no joke like you cut salty foods from your diet like all right no
more goldfish and tostitos you were just saying cutting like rocks of salt in the kitchen you
know what i mean like i thought you were just saying a minimal effort i just cut sodium out
and and just like losing that much water weight yeah it's a lot uh he's the size of a small heifer i mean 550 600 pounds like like my dad has cattle
i know what a 500 600 pound heifer looks like that's a big girl
yeah big boy all right she gets a hold of you in the catch pin you're going down
he's so fat it's like is he five foot four or six foot ten i don't know you can't tell when
someone's that fat he He looks so short.
That's the other thing.
He is a very unfortunate looking human being.
And you know that baldness is not a choice.
No.
No, that was foisted upon him.
Foisted.
That's a good word.
As it is for many of us.
Yes or no.
So back in October, he october the police was a choice
wait what was that alex no i'm sorry i was just saying back in october 2020 was catfished by
someone pretending to be a 17 year old girl and sent them explicit messages this is edp 445 by
the way not our good friend check goldstein uh as well well as threatening them if he found the messages online.
And then in July, this is from a Deserto article in July 2020, just a few months prior, he addressed accusations that had come out against him regarding inappropriate conversations with an underage girl.
He says in the video that he's not a pedophile and thought of it and thought of it.
It gives him the heebie jeebies. Oh, the thought of it gives him the heebie jeebies.
A quote was an actual, they quoted him on that, interestingly enough.
Of course, the repetitive nature of these accusations and the fact that he admits on video with Predator Pultures that he has exchanged these messages with someone he believes to be a minor is pretty bad.
So, yeah.
But no, there's been no legal action reported to him.
And I wouldn't be shocked if uh he posted
that video and his lawyer just immediately messaged him was like you gotta get that shit down
and you think this man has a lawyer look the most ridiculous thing we've said tonight
is the idea that eat that pussy four four four four four five has legal representation
okay but it wouldn't shock me if brian moreland has a lawyer you know
what i mean like i don't know brian moreland that's him that's him yeah he's oh that's his
real name i love that alex has gone deep on the research already it happens to me it happens to
me and i get on the pole and i just can't get out you know we can't have you on when we do
conspiracy episodes you'll be like actually that's not true and it's like damn it that's not the point oh yeah no i'm definitely not the guy for
conspiracy things because i'm i'm always the dude it's like well actually and my wife hates me for
that so i just i just back away you know because i have friends of mine that are like really into
like sasquatch stuff you know like i i squatch in i guess is what it's called yeah uh and then i'm
just like well actually and
then they're like no shut up don't want to hear from you let me hear way too much about gigantopithecus
yeah i just ruined my fun base i i started a hulu documentary like as a background show just the
other day it was like sasquatch it was like follow so and so on their trip for you know looking for
sasquatch and i got maybe like four minutes in
and it was like grainy footage of people just being like i seen him up there and i tell you
what that didn't walk like no buyer and i've seen enough and it's like this is what am i what am i
expecting to learn here i was expecting to like see images with like stats of the different like
theorized bigfoots.
This is so stupid.
The guy was taking it way too seriously.
The presenter talking about
three people were never seen again.
Yeah.
Described as squanch-like.
Whatever the fuck we mean.
Everybody would have said.
How much crow
is everyone going to be eating if that
conspiracy theory ends up being 100 verified true that some sort of ape comes out of the northeast
or northwest everyone would be eating crow on that it's just not a thing no one's just not a
thing there's no way that there's a north american land-based enormous animal that we haven't caught yet.
Like, whenever they're talking about, like, they'll talk about, like, life in the ocean.
And how, like, every time they go down to the Marianas Trench, they're like, yeah, we found, like, ten new fucking things.
It's like, yeah, that makes sense.
First of all, they're all the size of your hand.
And second of all, like, people don't go down there.
People don't go down there ever.
Like, James Cameron and you. Those are the two people who have been there fucking a fucking long time. And don't go down there people don't go down there ever like like like
james cameron and you those are the two people who have done their fucking animals that live down
there can't live up here right so we wouldn't see them swimming around at the shoreline yeah but
we're talking about fucking oregon we're talking about like saskatchewan we're talking about like
north fucking america and we're also talking about something something that the whole idea is it's like
8, 10 feet fucking tall
and it's like bipedal.
It would stick out like a sore thumb.
It would stick out like a Bigfoot is what it would stick out.
Forget thumbs. You could
miss a thumb. You can't miss a Bigfoot.
No.
You'd hit one with a car.
There's no animals
in the woods that don't eventually get hit by cars or like,
I think it's more likely.
I think it's more likely that the Loch Ness monster or some type of version of
the like Loch Ness monster exists before Bigfoot exists.
Yeah.
Because there was an animal called a plesiosaur.
Actually there is that gigantopithecus thing.
And that was only like a hundred thousand years ago.
Whereas the plesiosaur was obviously
millions of years ago but what I'm getting at is like
there was an animal
that looked like what they described
the Loch Ness monster as
but I'm with you
like at least in Loch Ness
there's
a lot of anything that could be under the water
it's like
yeah who knows what's down there it's not of any, anything that could be under the water. It's like, yeah. Yeah.
Who knows what's down there?
Like,
it's not like we're down there exploring all the time.
It's the same thing with space.
It's like,
yeah,
there's almost certainly life out there.
We've just,
it's gotta be,
it's,
there's so much of it and we've,
we've looked at so little of it.
Yeah,
I think there is,
but like,
no,
there's no fucking Bigfoot.
And anybody that believes in Bigfoot is just looking for some shit to believe in.
Yeah. I mean, it seems unlikely because of what you said.
We would have built a road through its habitat.
We would have accidentally found it by now.
Forget about going like we would have accidentally.
You got to keep in mind there is an entire sport called hunting where dudes go in the woods,
like hiding their body scent and they're and wearing
camouflage with high-powered weapons and it's incredibly popular right where they say this
thing is like like i'm like i used to hunt all the time if i'd ever seen a fucking bigfoot i'd
have smoked it like boom headshot and like like i'm gonna be on fucking time magazine holding this
holding this thing up like like for sure you shoot it if you're a hunter when you catch it with the
um is it called a deer camera what are those things called they just yeah yeah yeah yeah
those trail cams okay yeah those things are cooking all the time people are out there putting
bait just so they see what the deer activity is and informs their next hunt they'd find Bigfoot period
they'd find him yeah there's no Bigfoot
now here's the thing though Kyle
if you kill Bigfoot
do you think that because you said
you get on the cover of Time Magazine
there can only be one
yeah that's what I'm saying do you think that you get on the
cover of Time Magazine because you killed
Bigfoot or do you think you get on the cover
of Time Magazine because oh god you killed bigfoot you know handedly hunt species to extinction
i got the mama bigfoot
them little feet tried to get away but i smoked them too you got a couple little feet you hold up
you're like holding them by their leg.
It's a bunch of like fish on the,
like a stringer of little feet.
I think there would be some people who were like,
you kill Bigfoot.
How dare you?
But like every hunter and good old boy in the world would be like,
God damn.
He's a hero.
He finally got the squash.
Yeah. It's a good yeah he finally got the squash yeah it's a creature it has to be i don't even think like loch ness or loch ness whatever would cover it it'd have to be the ocean
like yeah really trolled enough in loch ness people curious like hunting for it like
it would have to be like might maybe literally in the marianas trench like you were saying
and even then there's no way we're to find shit like bigger than a blue whale.
Like, I don't think we're going to find.
We're not going to find like another kind of whale or a monster.
It'd be like, look at this dumb little shiny fish.
You know, bioluminescent because it lives where nothing should.
Yeah, that's true.
think should yeah that's true like and even then right uh as you go deeper like those uh those particular like you know sea creatures like they're not they're not gonna find their way
suddenly up and then have like no problems you know like they're not gonna it's not gonna be
like the meg you know where jason statham has to swing in try and save us all like this is just not
gonna happen right like they're because the
biology just doesn't freaking work like that you're not submerged underwater like in the
deepest part of the ocean was it 200 kilometers or something like that and then and then come up
you know and be like i'm here bitches you know like it doesn't work like that the blobfish like
everybody's like haha look at this dumb ass ugly fish like the blobfish it's like
is it a cuttlefish am I mixed up is that what it
is really called it's not a cuttlefish
the cuttlefish is the one that can change colors and
like manipulate it it can look
like different things the blobfish
it looks that
ridiculous because like it's being
depressurized or repressurized
at a ridiculous rate
lives a mile underwater
and then you drag it up here and it's like insides
are like roiling and like turning inside out
and it's like obviously it's dead by the time it gets
to the surface but
yeah they look like pretty normal fish
deep in the sea
it'd be like
God catching
one of us and then reeling us into
space and being like idiot catching one of us and then reeling us into space and being like
idiot like i saw frozen and crispy and broken yes oh yeah it's weird how the nose sticks out
like it gets more human looking on the surface and it looks like my uncle you know uncle blob
extreme tissue damage being pulled up rapidly by fishers.
Wow. Is fishers the
politically correct term for fishermen?
You know it is.
No.
You know it is. Oh my god, it is.
Fishers.
That actually is kind of nuts.
Fishers.
What do you do for a living? I'm a fisher.
Actually, that works.
It's not the worst.
But nobody would say I'm a fisher.
Well, they would.
You said like...
They don't say I'm a teacher, man.
I'm a teacher-man.
I'm a teacher-man.
That's a Jewish teacher, by the way.
I'm a fire.
Teacher-man. Yeah. a teacher man i'm a teacher man that's a jewish teacher by the way i'm a teacher man teacher man yeah dude that process for the blobfish has to be excruciating to like as they come up i often say
stuff like that and that's where i was headed and then kyle and taylor will be like no they
they don't have the brain to process, like, really uncomfortable situations, really, like, dreadful.
There's probably no existential dread when it's happening.
No, they by definition aren't capable of such a thing.
Yeah, but it's still, it just, it looks so horrible.
I can't imagine he doesn't have like panic.
Yeah.
But it's like a basic, like fear response.
It has nothing to do with like, it's just like, Oh, bad thing, bad thing.
Escape.
It's like, you know, but whereas whales, I think like, I think whales are super intelligent.
Like, like if I had to guess, I would say that like, they're just like, Oh no, my child
is hurt.
My child is hurt my child is hurt like i think
they have like complex like thoughts and like family relationships and a basic not even a basic
language of their own like i feel bad when shit happens to whales isn't it the same way same way
for dolphins too yeah marine mammals in general yeah Yeah. Are all whales rapists?
I don't know that any whales are rapists.
Dolphins are.
Have you not heard?
They're like the rapists of the sea.
That's like the dolphin's whole shtick.
Wait, what?
I gotta look this up.
They're very sexually active.
Yeah, I have heard something like that about dolphins.
Yeah, look, I don't know about that.
It's just like wow dolphins rape stats comes pre-populated by google isn't it
vox article too woody that says seven adorable animals that are also murderous monsters go for it i'm on this ranker article. I've never heard of Ranker. Nine uncomfortable facts about how dolphins are actually sexual assault monsters.
Oh, God.
Yeah.
And they don't number the facts, but yeah.
Wow.
Male on male to assert dominance.
Sexual aggression towards humans.
I think there's a video here.
Oh, I've got that.
It's on your hard drive. Yeah. Oh, I've got that. It's on your hard drive.
Yeah.
Oh, listen to this quote.
Gangs of male dolphins may isolate a female, slap her around with their tails, and forcibly copulate with her for weeks.
What?
Rape them for weeks?
Yeah.
Dolphin specialist Justin Gregg disputes that this counts as rape, but even he notes some horrific elements of coercion and dolphin sexuality.
His quote is, yeah, dolphins might use other tactics to persuade a female to mate with them, including committing infanticide, killing calves, so that the females will come into estrus and be more receptive.
My goodness gracious.
I have a new look on dolphins now.
A lot of primates do the exact same thing.
A dolphin once tried to sexually assault Demi Moore.
And also it sexually assaulted Hank Hill in that episode.
Remember that?
Yeah, I do.
Oh, god dang, dolphins trying to rape me yeah they couldn't
show a dolphin cock on on fox so they just made its like midsection turn a little rosy yeah
yeah that's a good episode but like i i like how the dolphin researcher like clearly the reason he
disputes that this is in fact rape which it clearly is it's like dude
rape happens all the time in the animal kingdom if it wasn't for rape orangutans wouldn't be able
to procreate a hundred percent of orangutan babies are made by rape it's like an orangutan female
like sees the orangutan male and it's like run away and then the male is just like if i if i
want to reproduce i have to be a fast enough rapist to catch this
orangutan.
And so then that's how you get
a whole generation of really fast
sexually aggressive orangutans.
I want to appreciate Taylor's orangutan
running.
They're not running like this.
It was great. I'm like, yeah, come to think
of it.
It's like, oh, so obviously dolphins rape.
That's really interesting.
And like Professor, you know, Sprick or whatever.
Just, yeah, well, actually, we don't know that it's I'm not just saying this because I've dedicated my life to studying when I now know I'm still raping species.
You're just, you know, live.
Own it.
Own it.
Say that you know what it is.
Yeah.
Don'tay morning quarterback
dolphin rape okay let's be real
about this you know what squirrels
I saw this like something
was posted online I don't know if it's true but it's like
if you watch a squirrel long enough
you'll see it either rape or be raped
I love that
where did you see that
I don't remember but it makes sense right Jesus Christ. I love that. Where did you see that?
I don't remember.
But it makes sense, right?
I mean, I guess it's way more common than you would think in the animal kingdom
that rape is just how they do things.
There's no concept of consent
at all.
Birds never are.
Did you see that thing the other day?
It was the condoms that come in those
difficult to open boxes that require four hands to open oh i saw a picture the idea is that consent
is required to have sex and i'm just thinking like first of all the rapists don't will either
not use a condom which that's true i just imagine a situation where the rapist was like
i was gonna wrap it up for you but fuck it or like an instance where the rapist was like, I was going to wrap it up for you, but fuck it.
Or like an instance where the person's like,
can you help me?
Can you come over here and just help me out real fast?
If you don't mind.
It's like, oh dear.
This is why we're raping pears.
Ain't that right, Taylor?
I'm not going to put my foot in my dude's.
Oh no.
I'll be raping pears.
I do think that's a good idea though raping in pairs undoubtedly
no not that
god no I do not think that
oh it's too late
I just think that the idea of
of a condom box
that needs to be opened by four people
is actually like or sorry four people
four hands but four people okay
if you're into that kind of thing what you're handicapped i just thought of something oh that's
how you oh they should go after that company for for for being ableist like a bunch of like guys
with nubs for arms just being like how dare you that needs to be a tiktok response video
i'm not deserved to fuck because i fought for your freedom in afghanistan
or whatever the situation be yeah that's the way you do it that's the way you take down this hoity
toity over the top over engineered for people for hands to open it you're just you're just gonna
upset people and they're gonna not use safe sex or you're just gonna buy a better cheaper condom
that doesn't come in a fucking rubik's Cube. Just get a lifestyle one. Just be done
with it. More of a skin fan myself.
Yeah.
There was no sex in the EDP thing.
No.
I didn't need to use a condom at all.
Way to bring it back.
Based on the stories you were telling,
it doesn't seem like
he's ever actually talked to an underage girl seems like
he's been catfished like three times no way right the one time he said he did get caught and was
like but i wouldn't have done anything but like how many times did this dude get bamboozled into
thinking he was talking to like a 13 year old for you would think by that point he may be an
idiot and he's just i'm just gonna keep going back to this poisoned well instead of like how
about you talk to an adult you know do this stress-free so you're not like don't don't
fucking say anything i can go to prison yeah what if at the end of his conversation with rascal
mcgovern's he was just like so so all right i guess there ain't no girl then huh and they're
like yeah of course there's no girl you idiot this is a setup that's why we're here he's like
this is me ain't no cupcake neither There's no cupcake
Asked if he asked rascal about the cupcake that might have been the best piece of defense
That he could have mounted
Like imagine that you're like your honor
All he cared about when he was confronted by these
Journalists was his cupcake. This man has the mind of a chubby 12-year-old.
I'll show you his YouTube channel as evidence of this.
His name is Eat the Pussy.
I found a video about this condom that takes
four hands to open it, and one person easily opens
it by themselves.
Well, that's a shame. You just go like this,
right? Yeah, that's it.
Oh, whoops. You have to
press like eight spots, but
the guy clearly has that many fingers.
I got ten fucking fingers. You've got spares.
I'll get my feet involved if I need to.
I'm not wearing a condom anyway.
We know.
Yeah. What is this called? The two-person condom? It's called a a condom anyway we know yeah what is this called the
two-person condom that's probably
not a consent condom that's all it's
called just a consent condom
yeah it's an Argentinian company
Tulipan
has created a consent condom
that requires four hands to be opened
intending to raise awareness about
consent in the bedroom I mean don't get me wrong
cool cause I'm whatever right like do do what you gotta do but i do think that sometimes
uh products like that can get a little uh a little too convoluted i think it's stupid as
fuck totally convoluted and you know what it's a good cause because this is the first time i've
ever heard about the importance of getting consent before you have. I think there
are genuinely hundreds of millions of people in the developed world who don't know this already.
And so it's good to put money behind these causes. This is not some boondoggle for someone at the top
to get rich. That's silly. That's cynical. You know, this is a real thing that's going to help
a lot. I bet this, this condom has actually been used three times ever. And it was just to make
sure that the third party manufacturer of the
condom that they're purchasing from wholesale actually works in the condom it'd be a shame if
the condom actually doesn't work though you know what i mean like that'd be the worst part like
can you imagine that report uh you know consent condom uh found with a hole in it like oh dear
god that's not good for anyone yeah that's that's absurd you know what if anything the anti-littering
green people should be like what do you do you need that much cardboard for one condom look what
durex is doing you know a little piece of cardboard you fit 30 in there here everyone needs a fucking
you know watch case it's plastic show some fucking blobfish choking to death on that plastic locking
case not blobfish it has to be something cute.
Show a little Bigfoot choking on it.
A little Squatch.
A little Squatch with one of these locking
fucking condom cases stuck
in its asshole because it ate it and couldn't pass
it. Yeah, and that's the
argument where it's like, notice how few
Sasquatches you've seen?
This is why.
The problem you would never think about
Because we're killing them before our eyes
With tulip condoms
Have you guys
Been keeping up with the latest police shootings
Yeah man
There were a couple more today
There's the
I
On my Facebook feed is filled
With defending this cop who shot a 16 year old girl,
which the one who was actually stabbing the other one.
Yeah.
And my knee jerk reaction is there's no one on the other side of this issue.
It like,
look,
I don't,
except for LeBron James.
Uh,
wait,
what was the,
is this the,
wait,
they're defending the cop who shot the girl.
Oh no, no, they should be. cop who shot the girl? Oh no.
No, they should be.
So I'll lay it out as best I can.
I've watched the video.
It's short.
So I've seen it like 15 times.
Cop arrives on the scene as he's getting there.
There's this big girl and she has a knife in her hand and she's uh she comes into view and the cop pulls out his
gun and he's like stop stop or you know don't move free something like that and uh she doesn't
she doesn't it has no impact on her and she takes this other girl who's half her size
pushes her up against the hood of the car maybe you know like like bent over backwards on it
and she's in the process of stabbing the other one with a knife in like as a real quick reaction
the cop shoots her four times i think all four shots hit i know the girl died really quickly
and i will get stabbed i can't tell if like the knife. I haven't heard anything about the real deal blade she's got.
Yeah.
The blade is what do you want to call it?
Four inches long or something like that.
Like it's I don't think she actually got through to this to stab the woman in pink.
And the cop killed her quickly.
Within six hours, the police took the body cam footage and released it to the public.
And I'm like, of course they did.
This is like the best shooting that we've seen in quite some time.
You know,
like in,
in terms of like clearly a justified shooting,
someone who's actively in the process of stab,
like pre stabbing someone else with a knife.
He saved a life that day.
I think.
Yeah.
I mean,
we were watching the very first step
of a murder happen which is yeah lebron james tweeted um knife into someone's like chest cavity
yeah lebron dreams tweeted about this and then um someone made him delete the tweet
but then he's continued to like speak publicly about it was it are we sure this is the i i'm not
oh unless a different black 16-year-old girl
was stabbing another girl and got shot for it
today.
But it was definitely about this one.
It was about this one. Because there is another
shooting I know about in North Carolina.
I'm almost positive it's this one.
It was the girl stabbing video.
So was this yesterday?
So...
Come on, LeBron's always on the right side
of these things.
It's an Alex.
Get in.
Yeah, I will.
So, look, I'm going to be very upfront, you know, like as a minority who grew up in the Bronx, a very dangerous neighborhood.
Right.
Often than not.
The police response was to shoot even and and i'll say this as a like and i know that there's
a lot of people are going to have like differing opinions on the response you know uh but i do feel
like i've seen things like this play out where a taser was used you know like why couldn't that have been the option
why did it have to go to the to shooting first like would that have been equally as effective
at neutralizing the target i'm worried if i'm about to get stabbed by a four inch knife by this
person who's twice my size who's got me bent over yeah no for sure i understand that dude
why haven't you used a rifle at this point
you know what why isn't this a 50 cal is my response if i'm the the person who's about and
at that point too there's also i mean i mean i i'm not i don't like i'm not much to get into this
but i i do want to point this out though like but then think about that kid in the when the the
protests and the riots were going on and he was
like walking to the cops with with uh with uh like a full freaking uh rifle dude i think there was
some white privilege there he definitely got treated pretty kindly they didn't seem to regard
him as like an active super threat like they might have someone else although the kid put his hands
up and tried to turn himself in right so
this girl on the other hand was ignoring the cop yeah i'm trying to kill somebody
so i don't think it's not a great parallel taser if you're being stabbed you don't want the cop to
be shooting a taser at the other person they just don't work very well like like like like like like
we uh i did one for a video once and uh i shot my friend in the
back with a taser and it like it didn't work exactly right like like it it didn't perform
the way it's supposed to what was he wearing blue jeans the the armor of blue jeans is that what you
hit the blue jeans you think yeah yeah part of it and it didn't it didn't go through the blue
jeans and into his skin it was
it was something called a disconnect or something like that one of them stuck into his back and the
other barb stuck through the blue jeans but not into his skin so it was arcing to him um the thing
is they just don't work very well they're not super reliable people have a lot more confidence
in tasers than there ought to be where like it's not a phaser like yeah just tase them
and then they're incapacitated it's like phasers to stun yeah that's what you'd prefer we need to
get phaser technology just instant stun that'd be i agree with that that'd be dope in this situation
like slight little hiccup with his taser that woman's already stabbed four times in dead like
it like you know some situations you're right they jump to the gun too fast especially that oh yeah or accidentally or accidentally with the fucking shit we saw
where they're like i accidentally shot him i i mistook my my two pounds gun for my six ounce
taser there was a guy in south carolina this is a couple years ago the cop told him to get his
license and registration so it was um picture a truck with a bench seat if i recall correctly and he kind of opened the door and went in to get it and the registration. So it was a picture of a truck with a bench seat, if I recall correctly.
And he kind of opened the door and went in to get it
and the cops shot him and killed him.
He was getting his license and registration as ordered.
Yeah, I don't think any reasonable person would say
that there aren't any incidents of cops responding terribly
and actively causing a situation worse with their presence.
I am all about serious changes to our police force.
I like the parallel of pilots.
You know, like you can't have any bad apples in this job.
They carry guns.
You never see Delta saying, what about all the pilots that didn't intentionally smash
the plane into the ground?
OK, some of them are a little homicidal.
Sometimes we've ignored 17 complaints from passengers about drinking on the job.
But, hey, a lot of our pilots don't have these complaints.
Chauvin, who just got busted?
Who's going to jail?
Eric Chauvin.
Chauvin?
He had 17 complaints against him.
And he's still...
All right, 540.
Hands were in the air.
Didn't even touch it this time.
It just stopped.
I don't know.
Woody's charging his motorcycle battery
with some sort of a special charger
and it keeps stopping the show.
And we lose gold, people.
Gold.
The best moment you've ever even...
You can't even imagine how funny Taylor's jokes were.
He did the Saddam Hussein impression.
I thought the man was alive again.
He had a little beret.
I'm not getting the costume back out.
It's too much.
No, at this point, it's done.
It's done.
You just can't replicate that kind of gold again.
The magic is gone the second time.
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Dude, I know we're done with the whole questionable cop thing.
They served a no-knock warrant in Durham, North Carolina.
I think it was Durham, Elizabethtown.
I'm not sure.
Anyway, I keep seeing this guy described as a father of 10.
You call that a baseball coach?
Victim and father.
At some point, that number becomes less of a shame and more of a, what the fuck are you doing?
Did they add a zero on accident?
It's supposed to say father of one.
Surely.
Is this dude from Idiocracy or something?
Yeah, where it's like 12 kids from nine women,
something like that.
I was trying to find out how many moms there were,
but I couldn't find it.
It's got to be multiple or just one trooper.
Right?
Watch it turn out to be this real sad story
and miracle involving birth...
What is it
called like in fertilization of each fertilization yeah but i somehow doubt it i'm within vitro
fertilization because like it's not as scientific as you think like they kind of just fire it all
in there and they have to use multiple eggs and all the multiple sperm just because they're like
you know this it's only 2021 it's not not 2200. This process isn't that great.
We're just kind of shotgun firing stuff in there and hoping.
And so it's like totally common to have twins, triplets when you do that.
I think it's expensive to do.
So they put like four eggs in there, eight eggs in there
for a better chance of success.
And you're just, you know, better to have twins than nothing.
Yeah, for sure.
You'd always get rid of one.
What if it was like, I'm pregnant
with four kids. You do a partial abortion
where they go in and just take one or two out?
They recommend it.
Octomom has
not followed her doctor's advice.
What if they go in and they're like,
alright, one, two, three, four, five,
oh no, we got them all!
Shit, I got so wrapped up in whack-a-mole
don't worry ma'am we got them all what
and we salted the earth when we left so nothing will grow in that barren womb
you get to like decide which of your kids is like
you get to have only the strongest kids like there's one little weak one that's not
quite suckling the nourishment as much so you go in there and snip that one out
and then just don't even remove the body allow his brothers and sisters to consume him
i think you should i mean i don't know why there are these term limits on abortion anyway.
I think you get those third grade report cards back and things aren't looking so hot.
Imagine how much grades would skyrocket.
I was thinking that.
It's like we can still kill you. If you threaten them with death, dear.
I might have studied in high school if my mom threatened me with post-abortion or whatever it's called.
It's called extreme late-term abortion.
That's like the legal term.
Extreme abortion.
You got to snowboard on.
Do it at the top of a mountain on a ski lift.
Yeah, he's only in his 10th trimester,
but I don't think he's going to work out.
He's three at that point.
I think that's a little premature, Kyle.
Yeah, give him a chance.
Yeah, wait until the 100th.
30th or so.
That is too late.
30th trimester.
Yeah, 30th.
You know what else would make grades better?
They should do like if you do good, you can go outside more,
like extra recess time.
I would have liked that a lot.
Yeah.
A tier system amongst students.
You know how Taylor would have been dancing in the grass out there
while I'm inside doing worksheets?
Oh, knocking on the window.
I'm sure of it. I'd be doing bath. worksheets oh knocking on the window
I'll be doing bath remedial bath spelling that annoying that you want to sit I
remember that like kids in grade school even work like Joe if you don't finish
your spelling sheet you can't go to recess and like this kid Joe literally
was specifically John thinking of was just like a shithead kid.
He's like 11.
He's just like, fuck you.
It's like I was like, oh, my God, you can't even say that on TV.
Like that's a really bad word.
I just didn't get it.
He probably had problems at home because like my head, it was like, dude, you just write the word because and then another and then anybody.
And then you can go play kickball with everyone.
And you're just stubborn.
I'm a little torn on that trouble at home thing.
I've heard that so many times.
These bullies, these guys who are struggling, they actually have bad home lives.
But so many times it seemed like the biggest shitheads in my high school had wonderful home lives
very wealthy parents
like I don't know
named Chad and Chet
you have wealthy parents
and you had a horrific home life
and it definitely affected your
progress I am a
lovely person how are you not on board with this
you are a case study
I just it seemed like kids in convertibles, new cars, were big assholes in high school.
Yeah, but you don't know what was happening at home.
Buying cars, apparently.
I don't know why the car equates to a good home life.
Maybe it was like, hey, Becky, you want a new car?
Because daddy needs something from you.
Oh, wow.
That got dark
okay yeah yeah all right yeah you yeah woody for all you know he could have been getting molested
by his father at home yeah you're gonna have to go hang out with my friend edp for the weekend no
or maybe it's just a matter of like them being like, I, I guess not that it's an amazing weekend of baking confectionaries.
Just right.
He's a fucking Gordon Ramsey over there,
like making lemon cream puffs and shit.
All sorts of meringues.
We knew of people who had like,
who I knew people who were,
especially this kid I played hockey with,
like there was like rich and then there's like really rich.
And then there's like,
like a different level of wealth,
like hundreds of millions.
And this guy was that level of wealthy.
And he did,
it seemed like his dad or his parents rather were like the exact archetype you
see where it's like,
Oh,
I don't want to hang out with that little shit head.
You know, we're almost billionaires. out with that little shit head. You know,
we're almost billionaires.
Give him another car,
send him to camp.
Send him to the nicest camp in the world.
Who fucking cares?
I don't,
I don't want to talk to him.
I get another maid,
get another series of maids to come in.
So like maids would quit regularly because he would throw huge parties.
And there was,
there was one time specifically I was,
we were,
we were all underage drinking at his house.
We were like 19 or something.
And the next morning at the house, his parents' mansion, rather, is destroyed.
His pool house is like five bedrooms.
The pool house is five bedrooms.
Enormous.
Totally crashed, destroyed, like totally new level.
No, three tennis courts in his backyard.
In case you want to have multiple and run a tournament.
Run a tournament and like and this poor woman came in and she was like i can't mr cameron i cannot do it anymore i cannot do it anyway so she like everyone was passed out sleeping and like she walked
around with the camera and like sent it to her, you know, boss, that guy's dad and him not wanting to deal with it.
I'm pretty sure he just hired a second maid to come on days where he would
have parties.
So it'd be like,
I'm not going to talk to him about it,
but I'll help.
I'll,
I'll bolster your staff.
How about that?
And it was like,
wow,
that level of not wanting to have conversations with his,
this kid was also like a couple of years younger than me and clearly an
accident baby.
Like his dad was like in his seventies when we were in high school.
And like,
I could definitely see that he could do whatever he wanted all the time,
but he clearly had like a latent and pretty,
not even latent and obvious desire for like,
give me structure.
Give me like,
I want to give me a parenting,
be my dad,
be my mom,
you know,
like don't you know
have me be raised by a series of maids yeah it's a give and take but you know on the other hand you
know but he also never had a day in his life ever yeah i was about to say like i guarantee there's
some poor kid out there who's like mom loved him a ton but he'd have loved a Mustang. That's true. You know, like maybe if EDP as a young man had had a Mustang,
he could have gotten laid in high school despite his obesity.
He might have taken a Ferrari.
This guy, he didn't have a Ferrari.
You might have to step up your car game.
Or just a $60,000 car.
With that same guy, we were going to a gas station to get beer with someone who had a fake ID.
And we were going to hop in and just take his normal car.
His normal car his dad bought him, which is a very nice Lexus.
And he was like, I'm not taking the Lexus.
That thing sucks.
I'm like, all right, we'll take something else.
And he's like, I'm taking my dad's Bentley.
And so we got in his Bentley.
And I'm like, oh, this is so cool. And then as we like gotten his Bentley and I'm like, Oh, this is so cool. And then like, as we're like leaving his neighborhood, I'm like, that's so cool.
Your dad just lets you drive his Bentley. And he's like, he would never let me drive his Bentley.
Like, Oh, this is the same kid that after one of those big parties, once we were driving down that
same road, he packed a ton of beer bottles and stuff into a black plastic bag. And he had another
friend of ours sitting in that he was driving.
I was in the passenger seat and he was in the back on the driver's side.
And I was like, that's so stupid.
They take their big garbage bag of booze bottles and stuff to,
he said we were going to Taco Bell to throw it in their dumpster.
So his dad wouldn't find the alcohol bottles.
And I was like, whatever, you know, at least we can get Taco Bell.
We're there.
We get right out onto the turn of the main road.
And I hear the window go down and him just go oh my god trash bag full of glass bottles and you
just hear shattering we're going like 45 miles an hour and like you just hear it shattering and i'm
just like dude that that's that's so not cool man like other people are driving here like we have to
you just threw it on the side of the road we're gonna have to drive back to get we all have to we are all our
cars are at your house we all have to drive on this road like what the fuck is wrong the
motorcyclist me gives it a thumbs down yeah thumbs down and then like as we're driving back you can
just see big obviously as soon as the bag hit and the glass shattered it just exploded and there's
just shattered glass everywhere that guy uh often often a bit of a piece of shit
so sounds like it no he he sounds like a joy he really did he sounds like an asshole
through bitching party i need to bring uh nothing okay i wonder how the adult version of him is
because he's a little more responsible is he big into philanthropy is he part of it nah he he dumped
glass in the road the other day i don't know if he's still doing it now he dumps champagne bottles
i was buying fake id last weekend to relive it you know
my name is what what is it my name is rascal mcguffin
what's worse is that like you know i feel i i feel bad for the teacher you know like
in that instance because you clearly like that kid's got like no structure at home right parents
don't care about what he does so they just solve any problem with money kid clearly just wants to
be loved and then what ends up happening the teacher is the one that has to deal with it
then the teacher and and so my wife was a teacher teacher and she would tell me all the time about how difficult it was to,
you know, for some parents, because like, what are you supposed to do when the parent doesn't
give a fuck? Yeah. You know, like you can only do so much as the teacher. You can try to get them
to do their homework, to pay attention, to inspire them. Right. I mean, my wife was a Spanish teacher. So let's be real. Right.
Like these kids were viewing her classes like, you know, just something that they had to do in order to graduate.
Right. Right. So they're not like listening to her and stuff.
And this was in Brooklyn. So she'd sometimes call the parents and she'd explain to them like, hey, you know, this is what's going on.
And then the parents like, well, I don't care.
Just just get them to do their work.
And, you know, that's your job.
And it's like, yeah, no, it's your job as a parent to be a parent.
You know, it's not hard.
You know, like or well, maybe it is for you.
I don't know.
Clearly, it's a challenge.
And like you can't you can't outsource the parenting responsibility no
there's no way to make a kid listen to you as the teacher because like the kid at a certain age
they can't hit me they can't do anything to me all they can do is call my parents and my parents
are not going to enforce anything because they don't care so screw you like there's there's no
one to hold me accountable here i don't i don't know why these teachers give a fuck like if i was
a teacher and there was a kid who clearly just didn't give a fuck, I'd be like, look, Jim, take him aside.
Look, clearly you don't care what's going on in here.
I don't either.
Yeah.
I don't either.
I just need you to chill out because you're making my job harder.
How about this?
I don't give you any trouble.
You don't give me any trouble.
You don't distract the other kids.
And I'll stop calling your mom
because she doesn't frankly jim i think we both know this she doesn't give a fuck either
she thinks you're actually jim no one cares about you i wonder why that is i wonder why that is jim
jim i think maybe it's uh got a little something to do with do you no it must be everyone else's
fault you just start talking like here hang on to this
exacto knife i gotta go out for a smoke come back problem solved i guarantee you
or that kid breaks out of school you know goes to another state changes his name becomes rascal
mcgovern and you know what christy i noticed you've been acting out a lot you know i think
it's because you don't have very many friends. You know why that is?
Because you're not very attractive, Christy.
And you didn't
quite lose that baby fat.
I mean, you're 16 at this point.
It's not baby fat anymore.
It's just fat.
Prom's coming up. I bet you don't have a date, do you?
And then you go right back to the old
X-Acto knife. Hang on to this X-Acto knife.
I'm going to have to smoke knife after a while like what does this have six notches the mortality rate of my english class would be like 17 but we wouldn't have any of these troubled kids no of course not i mean you'd have a
better pass rate than mortality rate and it'd be like it'd be like that that redhead guy in brave
heart who puts a notch on his club every time oh no
that's uh that's gangs of new york oh gangs of new york you're right that's uh john something
john c reilly c reilly it's actually not though he is weird yeah it is that's john c reilly in
that movie um john c reilly is in that i believe but the character you're thinking of isn't played
by him oh well i don't know. I haven't seen
that movie in a while, and it's one of those movies that I
remembered liking a lot, but the time...
It is so daunting to be like...
That's the reason I don't re-watch Lord of the Rings very
often, because it's like, do I have three hours
to do this right now?
And I don't want to sit down and watch a movie
like my favorite movie series of all time, Lord of the Rings,
and not give it full attention.
I don't want to sit there and be on my laptop or something it's it's hard to find three hours of
uninterrupted time i did it on the flight recently uh i was yeah it was a great time so i've been
trying to get my wife to watch lord of the rings forever she just doesn't want to do it because of
the reasons that you stated it's just too long of a movie just has no desire to sit there for that long and watch it although we'll like watch reruns of the office for like six hours but you
know that's neither here nor there right um and uh it's also the same thing with harry potter too
or she just doesn't like harry potter i haven't quite figured out what that one is yet but recently
i uh was watching lord of the rings on a flight i forget what event event I was doing, but I remember talking to her about it.
And she's like,
good,
watch that movie.
Cause I don't want to,
I don't want to watch that shit with you.
I was like,
Oh God.
And you know,
like,
I just wanted to share one of my favorite trilogies ever with my loving
wife who just says,
I don't want to watch this shit with you.
Like that hurts.
She sounds like a jerk based on that story.
Oh yeah.
But she's not cool of her she's a she's you
know yeah she kind of is i've been married for 12 years so you know we just do we we we take
shots at each other all the time like she'll kill me in halo and then she'll like tell everyone
about it or she'll post on facebook and then everyone's like oh your wife killed you in halo
i was like dude she was just sprayed me down with an assault rifle like what was i supposed to do you know what i mean i'm not some fucking magician
down whatever you can't dash i'm not jet you know i can't dash back and forth and try and avoid a
shot like i'm you know what am i supposed to do but yeah shoot her faster are you new to halo
okay what do you know i i know if she's shooting me from behind, there's nothing I can do. You can't turn on a girl.
All you have to do is turn around.
That'd be step one.
1v1 me on Rust, each and every
one of you. Okay, let's just go.
You won't believe how
good I am as I'm pretending to play, but really
I can script someone from the $50 patron to play
for me.
Just recover
the gamer tag. Play a lot a lot of rust oh me uh sorry uh well
i would say 1v1 on rust in modern warfare 2 but oh yeah but but as far as rust goes i have tried it. That's as far as it went. Yeah.
I got into a server
and it was an organized server
that a few friends of mine,
like other streamers and stuff, had put together.
And then
I got my buddy in there and
he had never played before and then
he just went on the rabbit
hole, man. They just Alice in Wonderland
that shit and then
before i i signed in the next day and he's got like a fortress built i was like how the hell
did this even happen you just learned the game like i still don't even know how to like equip
things uh and he um yeah and like he he was telling me like all about all about like how
the wipes work and everything and i thought like oh that's that's that's kind of cool i don't think
i want to like invest time into something and then it just get deleted you know like a few weeks later
so then i just i just stopped playing rust all together oh i love it that's the best part of it
you know i i've heard the whole rust thing we've done it a lot but um the wipe cycle is one of the
things that makes it so attractive because um you know it's this uh it's this race it's this uh technology race you know like a yeah
like like if they get to crossbows long before you even get to a bow then you're just kind of
if they get to ak-47s when you've still got crossbows or like cheap pistols yeah they're
scary it's like a monster movie now not like a first person shooter
it's like yeah there's bad men out there and we stand no chance do you think the rust wipe cycle
is almost a bit of a cheat or workaround for not having a more thought out game or like more
prolonged gameplay does that make sense like it yeah in some games it takes six weeks 12 weeks
to really get to the end game of tech in rust it seems to take four hard days it only takes
four hard days because we're so good at it um if okay seven hard days for a more average player
if you were in a server by yourself it might take you a month
well i'm not a good use case i've never even played it but like that's what but that's the
use case that i'm looking for like like when someone if someone's like brand new and they
don't have if you were brand new and didn't have tutorials god knows how long it would take to like
get there like you just wouldn't know the things to do in um escape from tarkov i was gonna say that if you know if you have a guide right someone who
plays with you every time you want to play who teaches you the the you know the ropes helps you
find the extracts etc it still takes you months to you, sort of get to the point where money is not a problem anymore.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Um,
I think it's,
I think it's what they're going for because they,
they could have easily like changed that design if they'd wanted to.
Um,
it being a one week cycle means that,
so I'm sure there are people who like try to get into a Tarkov for example,
like,
like I don't know where the wipe cycle is currently.
I noticed that,
um,
I think it's like every season,
it's like three months or four months or something.
You know,
it changes with updates.
You know,
there've been some six and nine month wipe cycles.
I don't know where they are currently in the current one,
but if someone were brand new to the game and they wanted to get into it
right now,
they would find themselves very far behind in the tech race.
Right.
And while for someone like landmark,
who I believe just deleted his whole stash. And of course he's prospering like crazy um it's no big deal it's
like yeah i'll start with fucking bare bones and i'll still wipe the floor with these guys and i
you know i'll immediately have everything i had back in in six weeks no like like no problem
but if you're brand new to the game if you're a cod guy coming over yeah it'd be rough whereas with rust you get all these repeated attempts at starting at you know
the beginning of a wipe cycle to like rinse and repeat those first few steps like like that's one
thing that like even though you're very experienced woody you haven't spent a lot of time at say level five, like your level five reps are low.
Whereas like my level five rust reps are outrageously high.
Like I've spent so much time at that.
So many hours and hours at bow fighting just because I've done so many wipe
cycles and,
and like,
and switch servers and done so much different stuff.
It's just a different beast. You know, like I see, I think both are great. so many wipe cycles and and like and switch servers and done so much different stuff it's
just a different beast you know like i see i think both are great i think both are awesome like i
love tarkov for everything it is and i love rust for everything it is but it is easier just to jump
on and get a fresh start just by definition in rust but i don't want to do a lot of rust talk
we've done that to death cool well i i did want to say though i i think that these games in general uh well they're they're fantastic because
they wouldn't have existed without twitch and youtube like it there there's no world that a
game like tarkov would have like the audience that it has and the player base that it has if
it wasn't for i know
that sounds like a very obvious thing but if you think back to like games like ps2 games or old you
know playstation or old pc games even right like those games were you know like there were a lot
of games that were super deep but they didn't have like you know wide spanning communities because
you know people just weren't they couldn't find individuals that they could invest in with it or it was just like a small percentage of people that went deep deep
deep into it and like got really into the game itself whereas like with rust now like i've never
i've played rust like two times i would say i watch uh rust and i watch escape from tarkov way
more than i play the game like way more and i enjoy watching other people play the game because i sure as hell don't
know where the you know x-full points are and i don't know what the hell to do in late game rust
like and i but i like watching other people like you know tackle it themselves so i'm glad twitch
and youtube exists for that because otherwise i wouldn't even know about this game and it is a
really rich awesome game experience,
but it's just not something that I will personally ever get into
as a Halo nerd.
Yeah, you need a group of friends to be your tour guide
for something like Rust.
That's where I was really fortunate.
Both of them.
Getting a guy who was really good to hold our hands collectively
through a wipe cycle and be no no do this not that
and it may it makes things infinitely more fun just just making the right decisions
like you're still doing all the same work you're just like like hey let's not put all of our effort
into making revolvers guys like we'll have rifles tomorrow when you're about to spend all of our
pipes on revolvers don't do that yeah little things little things like that all right i'm
gonna write it down
hold on kind of gaming related fucking mortal kombat is coming out i think tomorrow or the
movie the movie and i'm so excited like it looks good it looks like they're actually gonna do
justice to what mortal kombat is fucking about it looks ultra violent it looks really well done
it looks high budget i don't know if they're going to,
it looks like they've got a story and,
uh,
and like,
like just watching the fight between sub zero and scorpion.
There's a part where like sub zero,
like cut scorpion and like blood shoots out of the wound.
Yeah.
He like freezes the blood as it squirts out of the wound,
grabs the blood stalactite and stabs him with it.
And I was just like,
Ooh, that's fucking cool
that is cool that is cool i've never seen that murder yeah yeah i didn't know there were new
murders out there i've seen so many well i'm assuming y'all saw the trailer right where like
sub-zero like froze jacks's arms and stuff no i i i'm careful with trailers like once i decide i'm
gonna watch something i stop watching the trailers for it like trailers are there to like be like kind of read a book by its cover
and see what the budget is like and and if it looks yeah or not but after that i'm like all
right no more trailers for me i'm it was featured in the first trailer that came out for it was like
literally the first scene i because it was just like them wanting to show that this movie was
r-rated and and i i love
it like i love that they went in that direction because like there's some properties man that like
you just can't you just can't do the cookie cutter you know crap with 13 yeah you can't pg-13 it you
know like deadpool right deadpool's like a really good example like i was really concerned when uh
marvel or when dc got like or not dc excuse me disney got the rights
back for deadpool that they were gonna do a pg-13 version and i was happy to know like oh no they're
gonna it's gonna be rated r which is like huge right because yeah disney produced rated r movie
like who to dunk it um so i'm just glad that mortal combat is getting that same kind of uh
same kind of respect because it needs that in order for it
to be like i love the first mortal kombat movie like a lot like it's one of my favorite movies
as a kid i watched and i listened to that soundtrack so freaking much uh but you know
i was missing uh you know a little a little something something you know and this this
movie seems like and also i would say martial arts movies have gotten exponentially better
since that first mortal kombat movie came out and martial arts movies have gotten exponentially better since
that first mortal kombat movie came out and the the budgets have gotten better for it too because
you've seen movies like the raid or it man that have really like i guess pushed the uh the hollywood
action fight scenes like to the limit and it seems like mk is going to do that but tenfold
is exciting is it pronounced it man i've been
calling it ip man it's it man yeah okay yeah property man he's a lawyer who uh deals with
with intellectual property he's a master now i want to know what he had the theater like
uh could i get a ticket for ip man please And just like, yeah, here you go.
Knowing exactly what it is.
Yeah.
You can go see IP man.
Have you,
have you guys ever seen all,
all of those movies like caught them all or anything?
I have.
Do they have subtitles?
Yeah,
they do.
Yeah.
They're fantastic. The whole thing.
How many are there?
The first one's great.
It's like four or movies.
Yeah.
So there's, there's one. The first one, the first one's great it's like four four movies yeah so there's there's one the first one the first one's really good uh it's the um i want to say it was about the japanese
occupation was the first one i think i just remember that that fight scene in the restaurant
was very cool yeah then there's the second one with the boxer from the UK, I think.
Was that one?
Does he train to fight a boxer in that one?
Yeah, like basically the guy comes to China and he's just like, you know, braggadocious.
I think he's British.
He's like some braggadocious boxer.
And he's just like, you know, I'll go and I'll beat any of these chinese people to a bloody pulp you know and show them what real fighting's like and and then you know and you know you know
how those movies go yeah and then it wins in the end because it's a movie called it man not
shitty british guy yeah shitty british guy who says bad lines going on here i'm gonna knock his
fucking block off yeah and then that he actually does win that would you know we're overdue for just i do want to see one movie of any genre where like the bad guy just wins
in an unexpected way where it's like you really think your hero's gonna make it out and then they
die that would be avengers infinity war yeah but then they immediately follow it up by going back
in time in the next movie and
my wife says endgame didn't happen she just moved on she's like i love the way infinity war ended
and then that was that that would have been such a badass ending right like imagine if the marvel
like there weren't 31 movies there were 30 and it just ended with everyone turning to dust and that
was the like culmination of the entire thing that would have been i mean the
big gangster is fucking that also would have caused like endless amounts of problems for
marvel imagine if the actors got to get like captain america uh i'm doing i want to get the
names right who plays captain america chris evans yeah chris evans uh like robert downey jr uh chris hemsworth right i
appreciate the help yeah if all these guys got together baby thank you if all these guys got
together and we're like you know what we're not making another fuck it we're retired we're done
and uh and left the series right there that's kind of what happened with Justice League? That is...
Well, that's what...
Yeah, I mean, Ben Affleck doesn't want to do it anymore,
but everyone else is like,
we want you to pay us to do it some more.
And they're like,
but you're not really making a lot of money.
Yeah.
I see both sides.
At one point, you cash in by movie four or five.
On the other, it's like, yeah, you got to prove that you're at one point you cash in by movie four or five on the other it's
like yeah you gotta prove that you're making money before you earn money those people at dc are such
fucking numbskulls they they just they i like the snyder cut i like the snyder cut too but like the
snyder cut should have been made five years from now after they've already made a flash movie a
sideboard movie two batman movies, fucking two Superman movies.
Superman should have been fighting fucking, I don't know.
They tried to skip some steps.
They skipped all of the steps.
Every step that you can think of was skipped in order for them to try and cash out on this movie.
The whole time I'm watching SnyderCon, I was like, rather than Zack Snyder needing to cram everything into a four-hour movie, which by the way, let's be real,
could have been a three-hour movie with not all the slow motions
and, you know, like, elongated scenes
for no apparent reason.
But, like,
you just lost so much character
development. Like, The Flash
is such an awesome character. How do
you just, like, relegate it to a
scene? Him saving Iris.
And then, you know know he's with bruce
like what doesn't make any sense i mean that's better than the original theatrical cut where
it's just like oh and he's here and uh we got joss whedon to write him three corny jokes so
he's gonna be very annoying yeah well they tried to make the whole iron man uh spider-man thing
going on that's really what it was that's what it felt like to me. Whereas they just want to shoehorn
this relationship between Bruce
and Barry.
Very well done, although
in a sense, kind of sort of rushed
relationship between Tony and Peter
in Civil War
and stuff. But then they did
a good job of fleshing it out later on.
And then you get a little bit more context behind it. You get as far from home does a good job of fleshing it out later on. And then you get a little bit more context behind it.
You get as far from home, does a good job describing things.
We're never going to get any of that with DC.
Maybe with the Flash movie we will.
Maybe.
I don't know.
Because apparently he's supposed to come back and play a version of Batman.
Because there's supposed to be three Batman characters.
I don't trust them to do anything, right?
Yeah, that's true.
I do like the idea of them involving the multiverse.
And so they've got multiple Batmen.
I know they're getting, oh, what's his name?
Michael Keaton to play one of the Batmen, which is awesome.
It would be cool to me if, I don't want George Clooney,
because I hated George Clooney.
But it would be cool to me if like, I don't want George Clooney cause I hated George Clooney, but like be cool to me if it was Michael Keaton,
um,
Christian Bale and Ben Affleck.
If they used those three Batman,
um,
uh,
and in the multiverse,
like,
like that would be a,
that'd be a huge movie too.
Like,
like the,
I think that would work.
Yeah.
And I do like the flashes character.
I think that he's as close to a personable character as
they have because henry cavill man i don't i don't give a shit about henry cavill in anything
he does like yeah i don't care about him though i like i like the witcher tv show that like like
when he's on camera he's just like boring and gruff and like like he doesn't have any you're not like
when tony stark is on screen you're like oh he's gonna make some jokes and he's gonna be
robert downey jr is that present fun robert jr is so good and so is like chris hemsworth chris
hemsworth when he's just playing that sort of fish out of water like this is a good drink i'll have
another and he smashes the cup on the ground in the diner. Like that shit's funny. Like Henry Cavill doesn't have moments like that.
Henry Cavill is just gruff.
You're right.
You know what else has happened to me?
I've gone full Derek, more plates, more dates.
Because I look at Henry Cavill and I'm like, why didn't he cut more?
Jesus, he's kind of fluffy in this.
Am I alone?
Kyle, come on.
You see it, right?
What movie is this?
Henry Cavill and what super
these guys have to like yeah but they if it depends on the movie or are you talking about
superman or superman the clothesline scene let me just look at again maybe i'm remembering it
wrong that's like peak henry cattle which or he's actually he's chubbier still wait wait no i think
i think he speaks to in wit and richer i i'm seeing this image right here in
the clothesline scene he is yoked he looks great yeah he's in incredible shape i i mean i could
i mean you know good shape or i mean better shape than i'm in he's in good shape he's in good shape
i'm looking like if you're comparing him to the general population sure he's in great shape
he's got he's got his delts are looking good he's the man of steel look I'll tell you he does look pretty good
his abs are better than I remember
because of this he's the man of steel because of magic
you know he could be
the weakest little bullshit nerd on Krypton
would be strong here right because it's mad
because it's the sun
he actually doesn't need to be buff
it just helps that he is
imagine if Superman just looked like a middle aged dad
every day Superman is praying
that one of his high school bullies from Krypton
doesn't show up on Earth.
What's that?
He left him a baby, but that's still funny.
What's that?
All right, Potter.
Just like, yo, what up, Clark?
Oh, no, what up, Cal?
It's me, Steve.
Remember me?
I'm your bully.
I'm back.
He just fucking thumps you in the forehead.
What's up, bitch? Oh, God god it's so good superman but lois
lane tonight what do you like how you were true to the story you're like that is funny but he left
as a baby so he wouldn't have been i was thinking the same thing yeah well i'll tell you it was an
amazing man it's fucking chris hemsworth like oh yeah chris hemsworth is fucking thor he is the
god of thunder there's no point
where you're watching thor on screen you're like i don't know i don't know if i'm buying it chris
evans as well like no i was about to say compared to like chris evans where it's just like eh oh
dude but did you go back and watch chris evans in captain america the first one i mean he is jacked like an insane okay really
that's crazy man i don't know guys at every gym that are bigger than chris evans
he's not cut enough in the witcher if he's supposed to be a superhero and this is him
dehydrated by the way yeah he made a big deal of like oh yeah i'm dehydrated for three days
and blue blue blue like yeah okay Like, yeah, OK, buddy.
Oh, that's when he doesn't look that good.
But that's also look at his arms.
Like his arms are probably way bigger than you think.
Sitting at that fuck bigger and bigger isn't even what good looking is.
I'm looking at his delts to his biceps, to his tries, to his forums.
It looks like a hot dog.
He has the definition of a fucking sausage in this picture.
In this picture.
That's what I'm saying.
This picture is very bad.
Sit in that pose where you move your arms back behind you.
So you're going to get a more tubular look in your arms.
You're not like presenting forward where it's going to be looking bigger.
Your traps are totally hidden when you're shrugged that way.
Like you get,
you see not like that's a very not flattering position to sit in.
Like I bet in,
I bet in i bet
in other scenes in this movie or show whatever this is he looks pretty fucking good you haven't
seen the witcher no god oh dude you should see it it's pretty good he doesn't like based on the
video game yeah well yeah but it's not it doesn't like hit you in the face with it you know you
don't feel like you have to watch like me and my wife had never watched like played the witcher like i never played it and we really enjoyed it
i was ripping on it for being made after a video game i just was oh no no no i remember if it was
the witcher the game that was based on like a lore or if they just were like you know this
this game actually has a pretty dope story we're gonna make a tv show out of it yeah well it's
based off of the book uh more than it is the the game it's a good show it's a good
show like your next tv show though should be battlestar galactica like like you you you got
on board and you watched uh snowpiercer which i was surprised by i'm all caught up on snowpiercer
i like that we can talk about that in a minute but uh yeah i have not seen that show yet. Battlestar Galactica is one of the best sci-fi television shows
ever made.
It has a million episodes of that, right?
Or no, that's Supernatural.
Yeah, that's Supernatural.
This is...
I'm going to spoil
the overarching story point,
but
I don't think it makes it less watchable.
It makes it more watchable because then you know of know what the fuck's been going on.
So anybody who doesn't want the overarching story point of Battlestar Galactica, click away now and give me 30 seconds here.
So basically Battlestar Galactica is this, what appears to be a futuristic setting where these guys, where humans are on multiple colonies in this solar system.
And what's actually going on is these are our ancestors. These are our ancestors with space
technology. And they're in a war against this artificial intelligence robots that they made.
And you start recognizing a lot of the names of the planets and stuff because
they're all like based on like um like like uh like like greek gods and stuff like like a lot
of the like there's a character named apollo and there's lots of references like that this is way
before like the greeks way before oh yeah yeah this is like call this like a million years ago
or something i don't know exactly when the same kind of format is like, call this like a million years ago or something. I don't know exactly when. So this is the same kind of format as like Star Wars,
where it's like a super long time ago,
but it's like society has collapsed,
technology has collapsed since then,
and like it's better now.
So the idea is that, so they get into this war,
and like the very first episode,
the first two episodes are like a mini series,
or excuse me, are like movies.
It's like episode one is like an hour and a half, two hours long.
Episode two is an hour and a half or two hours long.
And then you get into a standard format of a TV show with like 45 minute episodes.
So they get into a war with the Cylons, which is the artificial intelligence that they created that they've had an armistice with for like, I don't remember, 30, 40 years or something like that.
We haven't seen a Cylon.
And the last time we saw them,
they looked like giant toasters.
That's what they call them.
It's the sort of derogatory slang they use.
They're like, ah, fucking toasters.
Because they look like these big silver machine people.
Now they've come back and they look like us.
Like they look like fucking Terminators, basically.
And they do have other
models that look like the old terminator styles they're like the hunter killer robots but the the
one the silence that are in control look like human beings and they do this as the sneak attack
on um all of the colonies and they wipe out like 99 of human beings and the remaining one percent exist in this fleet of civilian ships and one battle star
which is their like military vessel think of it as an aircraft carrier they're all just like
relying on one battle star galactica as i'm sure the name and they all just kind of have to be in
like a hive going throughout space just living like that because they have yeah and the way
their travel technology works obviously they've got like slow um it like like every uh sci-fi sort of
universe you have slower than light and faster than light travel and the faster than light travel
is like this big burst of like boom and we zap across the uh you know the galaxy pretty far at
and one in big leaps and. And so that for the first,
like four or five episodes or something,
maybe,
maybe two or three,
that's what they're doing.
They're trying to say one step ahead of the Cylons,
like big,
because they'll leap and then they'll start figuring out where they're going
to go next.
Because the Cylons are only like 45 minutes behind.
Kill them.
Kill them all.
The Cylons want to exterminate humanity.
What do they want from humanity now?
They want them dead.
All the planets.
They want humanity dead.
They are trying to exterminate them like a plague.
They got to make sure,
because they're robots,
they're timeless,
and so they don't want them to escape,
find a new planet,
build up again,
and then in like a million years.
Sure.
And the humans are after what to them
is like a prophecy called earth they're trying to find earth and the and so the whole series
becomes them trying to find this mythical planet called earth whilst trying to stay one step ahead
of the cylons who are both an enemy within and without because like i said the silence look like people now
and every now and then it'll they'll be a bit of sabotage in the fleet and they're like
there's one of them here one of us is a Cylon and they don't know what they're only like nine
models i think so it's not like they have infinite designs that is implausible jared none of us are yeah exactly there's really really strong
acting like the guy who runs the battlestar galactica edward james almost is an amazing
actor he killed incredible um and then you've got like like some of the fighter pilots are
awesome um when they get into these fights they they send out vipers, which are like their fighter pilots to like run interference and do defensive maneuvers and stuff like that.
And then you've got the civilian fleet who elect a new president. And you know how like the order
of secession goes with like governmental institutions. It's like, okay, if the president
dies, the vice president takes over. And if the vice president dies, it's the speaker of the house and on and on and on. Well, when you wipe out 99.9% of the human population, the education secretary
ends up being the president of the colonies. And she's just like, I was supposed to be doing a
seminar on pre-K and now I'm in charge of humanity. And so she has this weird relationship with the
leader of the military and they had this great back and forth going on. And so she has this weird relationship with the leader of the military
and they have this great back and forth going
on. And there's four or five
seasons. The first two or three
are very good. They sort of
like many shows, it's kind of like
first season's the best. Super strong.
Second season is still really strong.
And then it kind of like gets a little worse as you go.
One show that's not like that is Star Trek.
Star Trek The Next Generation. Season one is atrocious and of like gets a little worse as you go. One show that's not like that is Star Trek. Star Trek The Next Generation.
Season one is atrocious.
And then it gets a little better.
On Battlestar Galactica before we change off of it.
A couple things, Kyle.
In addition to what Kyle said, the acting is great.
The writing is great.
There are scenes in this that have impacted my like thought process on politics and life and right and morality and things
like that.
The writing is,
is freaking outstanding.
And,
um,
there was,
Oh,
Oh,
I also like that.
Our heroes are not the most powerful force in the galaxy,
right?
When you watch the star Trek enterprise run around in their fucking
luxurious spaceship,
that that's what it is is overpowered compared to everything.
Half of the engagements that the Enterprise gets in,
there's a moral dilemma on how bad to fuck up the other side.
Should we bestow technology upon them?
Everyone's a fucking moron compared to us.
Mr. Worf will be like,
their weapons pose no threat to us, sir.
Yeah. Battlestar Galactica...
Wait, that's a boring plot thing.
I didn't know that. Yeah, yeah. Battlestar Galactica
is the opposite. Every engagement
they get into, they're
lucky to survive if they survive.
They escape through the skin of their teeth.
People are dying. People, like,
it's a real problem. Guys getting lost
and stranded out there
and they're limited resources entirety of the population of humanity at the beginning of every
episode they'll be like 34 367 and then like a main character will die and next episode when
that thing runs across 33 366 and then sometimes whole ship, like there's this part where,
you know,
they're doing that thing where they leap ahead,
trying to stay one step ahead of the Cylons.
And one of the ship is like,
our engines aren't working.
Our engines aren't working Galactica.
Don't leave us behind.
And they're just like,
jump.
And you just leave that ship behind because it's like,
either we all stay behind and die to defend the one calf who can't keep up
with the herd.
Or we get across this river away from
these crocodiles and
then the next episode it's like
31,214
it's just like population
is going down and then one
episode a baby gets born and it's like
bleep
it's
excellent I am there's a prequel
series too there's a caprica uh which i've heard mixed
things on i've heard some people say it was all right and then others say it was like you know
like most prequels like completely unnecessary uh but the the awesome thing about that shows
is like because you know every every engagement as mentioned it mentioned, has weight to it.
When their fighters go out
to try and ward off an attack,
and they lose five or six of them,
those are all resources lost.
They'll never be able to build any more of those.
Maybe they can repurpose one or two
that they have in
storage i think they did that in like an episode or something like that but it's it's gone you know
and those are monumental episodes when like there's an episode when they're like the chief
who like he's a main character he's like the the the chief of like the vipers he's the one who
repairs them he's like you know what i'm gonna build a fucking ship i'm gonna build one from scratch
and they're all like you can't build a ship come on what are you doing and he like and he does he
like everybody throws in and they pitch in together and they build this fucking hot rod of a ship
that's really fucking cool like a little like fighter jet type thing it's great it's like it's
like all right we've lost eight ships and we made one good good it's
they're just such scrappy underdogs every step of the way that's and dealing with the problems
of the all of human society existing within this fleet like like because one of the ships
is a prison ship it's why you bother they were being transported and when there are
30 000 human beings left period you don't just throw away 3 000 they're not all murderers some
of them that is a good point refugees does keeping the murderers alive increase or decrease your
total population number well it's it's a moral dilemma there are lots of moral dilemmas
we need to and uh everyone with a kd higher than one has got to go and what's fascinating is like
after a while you're just as interested in the cylons as you are the humans because
the the cylons are awesome one of the cylons is played by this actress named Tricia Helfer.
She's so fucking hot.
Is she the one that has a relationship with that one guy?
Gaius Baltar?
Yeah,
I think so.
Yeah.
I didn't like that in the red dress.
A bitch in the red dress.
You remember that?
I love that plot line.
It's my favorite plot line because we get to look at Tricia Helfer.
It's very confusing friend versus foe and what the hell's going on and where i didn't love it is she even really there
right we shouldn't spoil it too much and just because she's in his mind does that mean she's
not really there you know there's a lot going on anyway anyway battlestar galactica if i if i were
going to recommend a sci-fi tv show, I would recommend it over Star Trek
because Star Trek, you've got to be
a fucking nerd.
You've got to be like me.
You've got to really give a shit about
Worf's backstory.
You've got to care that he
takes care of
Moog's
Kittimer incident. You've got to give a shit about the
Empire.
I don't care about that cheese grater takes care of Moog's Kittimer incident. You gotta give a shit about the Empire, alright?
Yeah, I don't care about that cheese grater-headed guy's backstory.
No. You know, his head
changes from season one to season two. You know why?
Because they had continuity problems
in the proper part. Because someone stole the
fucking head. Ah, that was correct.
Technically.
Somewhere out there, someone owns
Worf's original head head and they don't know
what to do with it.
You know,
the kind of guy who would steal that has no
interest in that belonging to
anyone but him.
He's wearing it right now.
He wakes up in the
morning, just puts it on. He's like,
I am Michael Dorn.
I am Michael Dorn.
He's just
flexing at conferences oh we haven't talked about arnold trine with the gum yeah jake paul beat ben
askren you know what i watched that clip and uh ben askren and i'm not a fighting i don't even
follow it hardly other than what these two say uh he didn't even look like he cared like he seemed
disinterested in a couple points one of my paragliding acto friends acro friends said the
same thing that he was upset that he thought ben ashburn didn't give his best yeah he didn't look
like he tried that and i mean that's uneducated me viewing you know but yeah he seemed to just
be there like yeah i'm here i'm punching'm punching in like Fred Flintstone for my paycheck.
And, oh, it's over?
Okay.
All he's ever done his entire career is close the distance and wrestle.
And, you know, he was doing this, I think it might be called a fencing stance
where you have one arm forward and one arm sort of protecting your chin.
And he just kind of did that until he repeatedly got hit and he got knocked out.
He threw like five punches in those two minutes.
I went back and counted.
It's a really low number, maybe four.
And Jake Paul just lit him up.
But it goes to prove my...
That's the most he's ever been paid to fight.
Yes.
It goes to prove my theory that YouTubers are the toughest fighting force on the planet.
That's right.
That a YouTuber has never been beaten by a professional athlete.
And if you want to beat a YouTuber,
you have to bring in another YouTuber.
That's right.
Reference Logan Paul KSI.
So the real question is,
where does Chael Sonnen stand in all this?
Right?
Can Chael Sonnen, now that he's a YouTuber,
beat Anderson Silva?
Is Chael Sonnen...
He beat Anderson Silva the first time.
Oh.
There was the part where he got choked unconscious there was the part where he went five rounds beating the shit out of
Anderson and then got choked out in the last 30 seconds yeah yeah it's the half though that
count you know it's funny though because so on one hand I agree he had a positional dominance
for four and a half rounds he hit him I'm I'm making up numbers, but like 400 times to 30.
It was like ridiculous.
On the other hand, absolute pillow hands.
Did you see Anderson Silva after being beat up for four and a half rounds?
Looked like he hadn't been in a fight.
There wasn't a mark on the guy.
He needs more steroids.
He took all of them.
Not more variety more of each of the individual steroids that he was taking okay yeah how many steroids do you need yes right he got caught with six different
steroids in his system which was the record with guy no yeah right whatever that's not trying you want to talk about not
trying to check it in talk to that dope only did five kinds of steroids so what is a loser
next move like as have any other fighters you know i would imagine some of the fighters who
haven't you know had the huge the biggest paydays you know i don't know how much ben
askren made in his career probably a good but like, I imagine other fighters that are near retirement
might be like, this is the ticket. I need to start some, some drama with Jake Paul and get
a fight with him where I make, you know, 2 million bucks. Yeah. But see, the thing is,
so Askren got about five or 600,000, which is the most he'd ever been paid. Oh,
I think he got 500 600 like cash
and then pay-per-view points then right it was 500 000 disclosed but he said he got a million
okay yeah so the thing is that jake paul isn't just gonna fight anybody because he doesn't have
to i saw tyron woodley like uh they're trying to like pick a fight and and jake paul's like
boxing coach or i don't know one of his posse is like making fun of Tyron.
It's so funny to his face.
He's like, your star don't fail a lot, champ.
Don't nobody care to watch you fight, champ.
And he's like, I got five.
Tyron Wood is like, I got five world titles, five world titles.
He's like, good for you, champ.
Good for you.
Like, like, like, like, they're all they're all just like looking at him
like like what are you even doing here like nobody cares about you and tyron woodley with that ugly
goofy fucking face face it's like no nobody wants to watch you fight tyron you've lost
five in a row in the ufc you boring fuck i was just looking it up it's something like that
yeah well he's getting cut he's like 40 years old he's lost four or five in a row he's getting fucking cut okay out of here it's for it's against a bit of a murderer's row
usman gilbert burns colby covington and then this other guy vincent luca i don't know him
yeah anyway like like the next person to fight jake paul needs to kind of be a b-side first of
all jake paul is a massive draw.
It turns out like,
like that thing did like one and a half million pay-per-view buys or
something crazy.
Like,
like he is.
Ashton was a massive draw.
I disagree.
Let me make the case.
When you look at the videos,
like of all the pre-fight stuff,
like Ben Ashgren videos,
triple pen tuple,
whatever five times is quintuple. Probably. The views that Jake Paul was getting Ben Ashgren videos, triple, pentuple, whatever five times is, quintuple probably,
the views
that Jake Paul was getting. Ben Ashgren's
videos were going viral again
and again and again. And he was complaining. He's like,
I am carrying the promotion of this fight.
Look at the numbers. Look at how
many people are watching what I say,
and how many people are watching what Jake Paul says.
I saw Chael Sonnen point out, he thinks
that the reason the Mike Tyson card did so well
is because of Jake Paul, not Mike Tyson.
He thinks that Jake Paul was the actual draw there
and that nobody's recognized.
He's like, people think that that thing sold a million cards
because of Mike Tyson.
I think it sold a million because of Jake Paul.
I think Mike Tyson's next card isn't going to do very well.
I know Jake Paul's next card is going to do very well.
Jake Paul's going to sell a million fucking pay-per-views again,
no matter who he fights.
And he needs to like,
like he could,
I think he can actually get Conor McGregor.
Now.
I think when,
when,
when that,
when he first called out Conor,
like last year or whatever,
I thought it was laughable.
Now it's like,
dude,
Connor sign up. sign up like like like
like you can first of all you can beat this kid second of all this is probably more money than
like going back and doing another fight with poirier combined with another fight with ds
the problem is connor's under contract so he needs dana white to agree to this and dana white's going
to take his piece and i after that's done you you don't know. I don't know where the profits are.
Right.
The other problem is I feel like Jake Paul's only a star until he gets
wrecked.
Jake Paul needs to find another guy who's surprisingly easy.
Right.
Like he beat up an NBA player.
Okay.
A professional athlete.
Cool, cool, cool.
Not a boxer, but whatever.
Now he beat up a wrestler, right?
And I know they're called an MMA fighter,
but this guy's hardly thrown a punch in his whole career.
He was, on the other hand, an Olympic caliber wrestler.
He beat him in boxing.
All right, cool, cool, cool.
What's the next step up?
Can he beat up Henry Cejudo?
I don't think so, even though he weighs him.
Why do we want to step up?
Yeah, why don't he just stay parallel? You know what?
Fight a professional
baseball player now. Fight a professional baseball player.
Fight an NHL.
Maybe NHL is not for him.
Well, he'd probably lose.
Let him fight Ryan Reeves.
Ty Domi.
Ty Domi must be 55 now, right?
Oh, Ty Domi would get his ass
wrecked. He's probably fat as hell now
his son's in the nhl though but he's not a fighter no i i think his move is famous people and that's
all that matters i don't know who the fuck ty gomey is and neither does anyone else but you two
okay you're right you're right he was a he was Ty Domi was an enforcer in the NHL,
and he was a really good fighter,
but he was interesting in that he wasn't really big,
which is why he popped into my head.
Yeah, he was little.
He was like a 5'9 bulldog, but he was...
How big is Jake Paul?
Probably like 6'2".
He weighed 190 in his last fight.
Yeah, he's...
190 and 6'2"?
Bam.
He looked pretty tall.
Roughly.
Yeah, that's crazy. He was a lot taller than Ben Askren.
How tall is Ben Askren?
By the way, I looked on TMZ.
Apparently, Mayweather
is going to fight Logan Paul
on June 6th
in Miami.
That's a huge
size disparity.
Who's more famous, Jake or logan are they the same
my shit who knows now like like i would have said logan a year or two ago well logan was just on
wrestlemania and he just did they're both very famous yeah yeah it's like it's like it's like
fame is like really for both of them it's like whatever you know like so you just get to that point you're just
famous person like that's what matters it doesn't matter like what their acumen is necessarily he
could fight fucking an actor he could fight some action star from the movies and that would be
huge if he fought like a chris hemsworth type actor or something like that that's his bag he
doesn't he doesn't necessarily need to like find to find the eighth ranked boxer in the world and fight them.
That might earn him some respect with boxing fans, but who fucking cares what boxing fans think?
Not me.
No, Kyle's right.
I do think that the opponent has to be credible a little, right?
So I don't know.
Ideally, it would be like Jason Statham or something, right?
I was literally thinking Jason Statham.
Because I think that guy has a fighting and diving background.
But I think, I don't know, Keanu Reeves can fight, apparently.
Just give him someone who can fight a little, who's an action star.
Both of those guys are very old.
How about Bruce Willis
just let's just watch the absolute
shit out of 61 year old Bruce
Arnold Schwarzenegger
Arnold Schwarzenegger might be a good
one I'd watch
I would guarantee I might even buy it
can't even throw a punch man
I'll pay for that too
old man strength definitely a thing but like even with his
muscles like withered and not as big can you imagine when they say old man. Old man strength is definitely a thing, but even with his muscles withered and not as big,
can you imagine?
When they say old man strength.
Old man strength of Arnold grabbing your wrist,
and you're like, oh no.
This is no longer my decision of what happened.
Oh, I disagree entirely.
Old man strength refers to 37-year-olds and 15-year-olds.
It doesn't refer to 77 year olds.
When people say old man, they're still very
strong.
He probably has the T levels of a
16 year old, so he doesn't count.
Why doesn't Jake Paul just fight Mike
then? Just screw it.
Because that would hurt. Oh yeah, no.
He's going to die. I think Mike would
destroy him.
I think Kyle's right with the famous thing.
I think I have a point where you need to get a guy who's like credible, but surprisingly easy.
You know, whether it be an NBA athlete or the wrestler was a great one.
Ben Ashgren was a fantastic pick because he's a professional fighter, but not a boxer in the slightest.
Yeah.
You don't want to, he probably doesn't want to fight Michael Bisping.
No, that'd be a huge...
No, I think Bisping will kill him.
I know Michael Bisping will kill him.
Circle left, circle left, circle left.
Take out old Cyclops.
Is Bisping a big...
Bisping is a retired mixed martial arts fighter
who has one eyeball left,
but he's a very good boxer.
Okay.
Yeah, so he probably would have murdered him.
You're right, Alex. They don't have
wrestling in England, so
they're stand-up fighters mostly.
They don't have wrestling in England?
Is it because they call it something? Oh, it's called fucking
roly-poly, bro.
Obviously, he learned
grappling over the course of his career, but
he entered as a primary striker.
What are you talking about wrestling? You mean squeezy
humping?
I just can't see any... So you mentioned actors.
I can't see any actor
wasting their time with that, truthfully.
I don't think that's going to happen.
It would have to be someone from the sports world.
Does an actor make a million bucks?
Who doesn't make a million bucks? The actors that he would have to be someone from the sports world does an actor make a million bucks who doesn't make a million bucks the actors that he would need to get in order to justify like what
kyle's saying like fight the famous person like that actor is probably making that or near that
money you know like and and it might not be worth it right it's like uh it's like when dwayne johnson
right like would would go back to wwe like
he does that as a favor right for like vince mcmahon he doesn't do it because he needs to now
that said a professional wrestler in the wwe might not be a bad option uh yeah he puts he wants to
win i think when he loses the gravy train stops so he really needs a guy i i like where your head's
at but i can he beat any wwe wrestlers maybe oh oh oh cm punk i i well i don't think cm punk's
ever gonna waste his time or something like that like him being him like he's he's never gonna do
that he's fought in the ufc twice cm no no he'll fight in the ufc but he'll never he'll
never take a fight against someone like jake paul who knows that he's just doing this specifically
for his ego and not you know what i mean like which i guess that a lot of this mixed mixed
martial arts is you know at the end of the day still for your ego yeah why did he fight in the
ufc if it wasn't ego did he i think he thought that he genuinely
because he had a uh i think it was in brazilian jiu-jitsu he was like he's a blue belt i think
yeah no no i remember he didn't go for belts because he didn't want to be tested so he had a
he was competent i guess but yeah it a lot of training so i guess he thought that was good
enough and then you have
you've seen to their credit gave him some pretty easy opponents to like fight the second one the
first one was tough it was that kid from jersey what's his name mickey mickey gall mickey gall
i think it was yeah yeah yeah they they definitely pulled it back for the second fight and then he
still lost you know and then the great CM Punk experiment ended.
And I'm a huge CM Punk fan,
so I would have loved to...
Are you into wrestling?
Oh, yeah, mega into professional wrestling.
It's been part of my whole career.
Okay.
That was one of those things I never watched as a kid.
It wasn't intentional.
It was just like...
I had friends who were really into it,
but it was just never on my TV.
I've never seen a professional wrestling match ever in my life.
Oh, dude, man.
I would love to take you down just an anthology of incredible matches
that have occurred over the years.
So I've been a professional wrestling fan my whole life.
My childhood was like WWE, G4 and freaking playing uh x sega
genesis you know like and that was like my life you know i it was it was amazing well man maybe
not sega genesis probably like that time like dreamcast or something um but uh but what's
awesome about professional wrestling is like you know that it's it's scripted like the results are scripted but the things that
they do in the ring are just always entertaining to me you know it's like almost like going to a
movie and you know you you know that it's scripted you know that it's going to end a certain way
now professional wrestling you don't necessarily know that it's going to end a specific way
there's still that element of mystery of like could they win could they not win yeah
you're watching like a live action play really yeah yeah yeah whereas like but but you have no
idea what the story is you know you have no idea how it'll end um and i think like that that's like
kind of a little bit of pro wrestling and yeah and i had i actually had a chance to commentate
professional wrestling that's awesome.
Yeah.
So I did it for this promotion called All Elite Wrestling.
They're like the, they're like, they just came out.
They're on TNT.
So I did their first, well, I did one pay-per-view for them called Fighter Fest, where it was these two guys.
This is one match you should definitely go and watch because you'll probably find it
for free on YouTube.
It's Jon Moxley versus Joeyey janela right so for context john moxley just left
the wwe he went by dean ambrose there and he was like a pretty big deal he was a champion fought
brock lesnar a few times like you know it's just a it was a big deal right he left to go to the
independent wrestling circuit because that's where he's from and that's what he wanted to do.
So he joins All Elite Wrestling.
And his first match for All Elite Wrestling was an unsanctioned hardcore match.
And that was like the first main event I ever called like that.
And it was brutal.
It was brutal.
Like the things that they were doing to each other,
like, like thumbtacks on the ground with full body slams,
or even like a atomic drops or like the bare feet land on the ground,
uh,
on thumbtacks,
mind you,
uh,
or like,
you know,
tables and chairs.
I think there was,
yeah,
there was actually a thing.
There was a,
there was a joke match earlier because it took place at CEO,
which is like this fighting game tournament. Um, so there was this joke match where was a there was a joke match earlier because it took place at ceo which is like this fighting game tournament um so there was this joke match where
like it was a hardcore match but they put a game like um what is it uh fight stick uh buttons on
the floor and then they like body slammed down there was pretty funny uh but yeah but that i'm
sure that hurt like a as well because like imagine you know landing on lego like that that's just awful um but yeah like pro wrestling just has that has always like hooked me because it's
yeah those people are they're they're tough as shit like uh you know like tremendous athletes
you watch any of the stunts and things they do like there's no denying that and they're in some
of the sickest shape of anyone yeah yeah hands down i've been i've been watching
the matter what's his name who's the guy that says hi is that right macho man randy savage
macho man randy savage who i am cream you they think you know you're coming for me but you're
not gonna be able to handle it because i am the cream he's yelling he's holding this cream dude
and you can like it's funny because like you can tell he's yelling he's holding this cream dude he's holding this little cream and you can
like it's funny because like you can tell he's doing an impression of macho man randy savage
because you can hear him go in and out of it sometimes it'll be and then it'll get a bit
louder and it changes a bit and he pulls it up and he i am it's so i watched that clip the other
night i'd never seen it in my life and i have like i said
i have no professional wrestling experience i was streaming on twitch yeah and someone was like you
have to watch the clip of him going i am the cream and it will rise to the top and doing that and i
watched and it's like he is such an on-point performer and like you tell he's reveling in it like he's like made for that environment
and so if i had almost were like that knowing nothing about this uh uh this sport or whatever
it is he's definitely my favorite macho man randy savage oh yeah he was one of the legends uh an
incredible match actually one of his best matches was him versus Ricky the Dragon Steamboat
for the Intercontinental Championship
at WrestleMania 3 or 4, I want to say.
Yeah.
Incredible match.
Incredible match.
I mean, those two guys...
And Ricky the Dragon Steamboat doesn't get a lot of credit.
Well, he gets a lot of credit
by a lot of hardcore fans,
but mainstream, he's not as well-known. Obviously, he's like macho man or hulk hogan or stone cold
in the rock right um but yeah just a really fantastic match like top to bottom of two guys
who are at the peak of their physical fitness you know and and they just they go and what's funny
is the main event for that one was hulk hogan versus oh shoot was that andre
it may have been andre uh that that that match was so bad like just not because hulk hogan just
wasn't a particularly great wrestler um yeah wrestlemania 3 hulk hogan andre i'm just trying
to see what the card was for that show. Roddy Piper.
Yeah, that was it.
I've watched, you know, it wasn't really
the wrestling stuff, but I've watched somehow
multiple documentaries all about
Andre the Giant's life.
I was more drawn in.
Obviously, he's a wrestler and he's like
all the other wrestlers like Jake the Snake
or these other people.
When Andre grabbed onto to you you know
you were doing exactly what he said you were doing
that's just the way it was with Andre he was too
strong too big you know
I was watching that Joe Rogan
with Jake the Snake knew
nothing about either of it but I just saw like a little
clip on YouTube and I'm like I would love to hear something about
Andre the Giant and like
all the stories about him are so
fascinating and it's tragic like that
his life was so short but it's like he had to know that like you when you're seven foot two
you're gonna die super there's no hope like no there are no seven foot tall 80 year olds and it
didn't help that he was taking bumps you know and he was like hitting the ring hard every every day and you know they're actually
wwe did a few good documentaries on uh some wrestlers and one that they just did of and it
was like man it was heartbreaking was uh yokozuna yokozuna documentary are you are you familiar with
yokozuna yokozuna is no okay so years ago no no no that's my name yeah yes uh let me see uh okay so i'm gonna
send this to you just so you have it a lot of people like have seen him before uh he's he's a
very prominent face because he he was like the guy who was the japanese sumo wrestler uh and he fought hulk hogan
and lex luger who were like the all-american guys and it fought brett hart as well um and uh his
story is so tragic because you know he he's a he's a big guy right uh you know from you know samoa and
he had uh he had a long lineage of incredible wrestlers that
uh you know came before him and after him right he's actually uh i think he's related to the rock
and roman reigns who's me like so you know the samoan dynasty is like really
has a incredible bloodline in in world of wrestling. But anyway, so he was just a big dude and he just,
he just kept going.
Like he just didn't know how to stop because like his character was to be a
big guy.
And then he just got bigger and bigger and bigger.
And it just got to the point where he was just so huge.
And,
and then,
you know,
he,
he passed away in a hotel room in London from a heart attack.
And he got released from WWE specifically because they wanted him to get back into shape.
And they tried to help him get back.
I mean, dude, definitely watch it and check it out.
I think you'll gain an appreciation for it.
I believe it's like an hour and a half.
I'm looking at a couple highlights from yokozuna right now and i will say that some of these other that hulk hogan right here is really giving him a
lot of help with with with the movements where like yokozuna even when he's too fat to be agile
and so the like hulk hogan's having to like almost step into the punch and then really telegraph stuff so that people know yeah he got he got better uh sorry he started really well but then obviously as he got bigger
and bigger and bigger it just wasn't it just wasn't possible like he he simply just he couldn't
keep up with what it was but the guy the guy like could could move like for a big dude he could move. For a big dude, he could move. And then it just got worse and worse and worse.
Yeah.
Crazy stuff.
This shit is so traumatic.
Hulk Hogan on the ground like,
I've been defeated.
Which one are you watching?
I want to see it.
Yokozuna's most gigantic
victories. WWE playlist.
Oh, that's good.
Ring 1993
destroying Hulkamania.
Oh, and you know what else is destroyed
is the Hulk hairline
in this.
Just massacre.
Go to 123
and
you'll see Bret Hart giving Y yokozuna the sharpshooter
uh which is a move where so they describe it like bret hart in the documentary he's like
well you know i mean i had to get those legs up it was so much work to just get his legs up he
couldn't actually hold him for that long and the fact that bret hart manages to lift
the legs higher off of the ground is freaking impressive bro because
go to a minute and 30 seconds on here and you'll see him doing this and i didn't notice this in
the first watch through because we were talking this I guess Japanese coach just
throws sand in the guy's eyes
oh yeah yeah it's Mr. Fiji
Mr. Fiji throws sand in his eyes
pocket sand
oh he had a pocket full
he had a handful of dust
he just threw in the man's eyes
yeah because that was the dust
that they would use that the sumo wrestlers
would use and stuff when they would do do the ritual at the start of a match.
It looks like the chalk you would use
if you're doing gymnastics.
He just throws a handful of chalk in this man's eyes.
What an asshole.
Because there's no way to fake that.
You can't be like,
oh, yeah, and then I'm going to fake getting dust in my eye.
You can't fully block that
out he definitely got shit in his eye yeah oh did you see the one at uh two minutes and
like five seconds in uh it's hulk hogan so it's destroying hokumania he takes a picture uh mr
feige takes a picture of hulk hogan and turns out it was a flashbang that went off and Hulk Hogan couldn't see. So a little fun thing about Hulk Hogan.
So there's a terminology used like losing clean.
So when you lose clean, that means like you got hit by the finishing move of your opponent.
You took a one, two, three, no shenanigans, period.
It sounds exactly as it is, right?
It sounds exactly as it is, right?
So Hulk Hogan was notorious for never losing clean because apparently he had such an ego.
And around this time, he was threatening to go to WCW.
So Hogan wouldn't want to lose the belt cleanly
to another wrestler.
So they would do shenanigans like,
there's no way that the immortal Hulk Hogan could lose
to Yokozuna
unless there was some help from the outside
and that was like the whole thing
and it just became this like massive gag
where like he just kept doing it
you know because he wouldn't Hulk Hogan can't
lose apparently it was just so stupid
so everything has to be a trick where he steps
on a rake or gets a bang
well even like uh that one that you saw there with brett hart right uh at wrestlemania 9 so
another fun story about that was they didn't want to send the people home angry and also there was
a rumor at that time specifically that hogan was leaving for wcw like he bags packed out the door he was
gonna go and vince was like we'll give you the title if you stay but the title at the time was
on the waist of brett hart and he was gonna drop the title to yokozuna so yokozuna wins the belt
okay and then hulk hogan comes. And then I guess he's like,
there was some like beat down,
you know,
after the match was done.
And then Hulk Hogan marches his way out.
And Bret Hart,
the former champion goes to Hulk Hogan and says,
go in the ring and beat him.
And then he goes into the fucking ring and he hits him with one leg drop and
beats him.
And it was like,
what are you doing?
It made no sense.
Like, it devalued the entirety of the match.
Almost like it's not real.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah, for sure.
But it's still like, there's a story, you know?
Like, imagine if you had invested so much into the story of Bret Hart versus Yokozuna,
which is what they do, right?
They build these matches for, like, weeks and months, you know?
All those fans there in las
vegas watching this match expecting between hulk oh sorry between brett hart and yokozuna and then
the story pays off yokozuna wins but then in comes hulk hogan out of nowhere you had no idea that
this was going to happen it was just it was just ridiculous but like looking back on it heart that
reminded me of i don't remember his first name is
but there was another wrestler with something
heart that died
because they like that was his brother
brother heart did they
didn't rig him up correctly
like he was at some event he was supposed to like drop
in from the ceiling yeah
yeah he was and he just
fell out of it and like
died of injuries from like 60 feet from the amphitheater onto probably a bar.
I don't know what he did.
So what happened was he had a character called the Blue Blazer at the time.
It was like a superhero, but everyone knew it was Owen Hart because of the story.
It was comedy.
It was more of a comical storyline.
and heart uh because of the story it was like calm it was comedy it was more of a comical storyline um so the thing was that he was supposed to descend from the top of the arena down to the ring
uh and then they were going to hook him up in this harness or something but for some reason
they changed it last second uh because the harness was too obvious they didn't want it to see they wanted it to seem like he was flying from the from the sky uh you know because why not and um and then the
i think it was either the the the material that holds the harness broke or it was the actual
link that you know the hook of the of the metal hook that latch that broke i don't know
which one it was i don't remember um but yeah it caused like quite a controversy for a very long
time because like you know obviously w like he died in the middle of the wwe ring and the heart
family just like i said about the samoan family they're, they're a long family of wrestlers in Canada.
So like,
you know,
it was,
it was bad review event.
Yeah.
It was called over the edge,
which made it even worse.
You know,
like it was just,
it was morbid,
man.
Really this Saturday,
this Sunday to free fall the new event.
Yeah.
It's oh my God,
man.
And it was crazy.
And then,
you know,
like they,
they had to carry on
with the show but it was definitely like this dark undertone the entire time and then they announced
that he had he had died and they still had to finish the freaking pay-per-view they had like
no choice because people paid for it that was it was nuts man crazy i was uh this is off of
oh shit i fucking lost the link well basically i was i saw on twitter earlier
that there was a uh well let me ask you this Kyle before i say it what what was the amount
of tannerite you used when you were blowing something up like how many pounds depends what
was blowing up like a car like a car something like that uh 12 15 pounds okay what was the
biggest thing you ever blew up with tanner? Like that required the most, I guess.
We had like a barrel of it once and it was like a couple, I don't know.
It was hundreds of pounds.
A ton.
Yeah.
Okay.
Not a ton, but like 100, 200 pounds, something like that.
Well, this gentleman in New Hampshire, I guess, shook houses in a 20 mile radius because he did a gender reveal party with almost 100 pounds of Tannerite.
Yeah, 100 pounds is pretty nutty. So the video on like the CNN news clip is of a ring doorbell in a town four and a half, five miles away, picking up movement because of the like the rustling of all the trees and like the shaking of the window.
Oh, my God.
Yeah.
And the authorities straight up said they're like, the man immediately turned himself in and they're still trying to figure out what the punishment is.
You don't know what they're gonna do like but even the guy was like oh i gotta i gotta go to the police station that was way too much
explosive for him yeah it's a that's a lot i wonder uh i wonder if he purchased it uh
or if he made his own you know both both would be legal um what if it was a boy or a girl.
Yeah, I'm curious.
Asking real questions, Woody.
Real questions.
I think there might have been some sort of, I don't even think it's a law,
but maybe some sort of mandate about
you could only use X amount of it at a time.
I remember something like that,
but it didn't apply to me at a certain point
because of some licensing i had
so i didn't really look into it too much but um yeah he's probably in the clear it like that
they might find some sort of like disturbing the peace charge or some sort of nonsense that they
sort of fold into like uh giving him a hard time but he hasn't done anything wrong does he do much
damage to to taylor's windows just shook houses
just shook houses just annoyed people i think so i've never seen tannerite explode uh because i've
never i never even i didn't even know that this was a thing until like 10 minutes ago but i uh
just looked at this video of you know this guy shot a fridge packed with tannerite and uh holy crap
the fridge the door of the refrigerator catapulted at him i don't think this is you kyle
oh it's not me i was like wait what did you do he shot a fridge filled with tannerite
we can't show videos anymore everything gets copyrighted
clean youtube's all automated now have you have you never seen any of my videos
i well now i gotta see this hold on
i gotta see this this is this is this is awesome
i don't know what to call it what to call it
FPS Russia blows up fridge that'll find it
oh it's uh
I'm gonna time stamp it
I'm just gonna get to the part
where it happens
like I've just
I just never
I think it's awesome
to like experiment with stuff like that but I would just not be able to do it like I know never I think it's awesome to like experiment
with stuff like that but I would just not be able
to do it like I know that I
know that I would be freaking out man the
whole time that's a that's time
stamped when it happens
holy shit dude your head could have been
taken clean off a compilation
called why is FPS Russia not
dead that's fun
and what's great is the thumbnail is just your shirt saying i piss excellence
a lot of those that's too good yeah it fucked my uh my cousin up pretty good
there's a picture on my uh instagram of his leg let's go and pull that up
damn that's insane dude
yeah oh here it is i don't know how to link things on instagram let me know if this instagram is the
worst i don't know why that website is so popular the content is pretty cool obviously that's why
it's popular i don't know but the video player to the the where you can't control it oh yeah that irks the hell out of me
you can't control the volume if I recall
correctly
oh man oh yeah
that's not a blood
guy but yeah that
that was that was that yeah no that
that looked like it hurt like a motherfucker
dear god
I was kind of a bitch about it if I'm being honest
oh man damn dude that's that's wild fine now he's good i was talking to him a minute ago he's okay
he should have let me he should have let us just sew it up with some fishing line and let me give
him the thousand dollars instead of going to the ER. I'd do that.
I'd take that trade.
Would you?
No.
Yeah.
If I were him,
I would though.
Okay.
Yeah.
Yeah.
A thousand dollars means different things to different people.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Um,
yeah.
The shit.
What else did I have?
Oh,
oh.
Do you think DC should be a state
that the
house just passed it to make
the I think
everyone knows it's even non-Americans but Washington
DC this is where the state's capital
is it has 700
and some thousand people
oh I'm sorry the country's capital
and I forget
the exact number but I think it would make it like the fifth smallest state or something. Not the smallest, but certainly not average or anything.
And there's one argument that says these guys pay full taxes, but they don't get fair
representation, right? They don't have a house of rep people that vote, I think. They certainly
don't have any senators and uh they have taxation without
representation this is wrong you should fix it the other argument and they're probably both right
is that the democrats only want to do this because it would add two democratic senators
they'd be reliably democrat all the time and that um the way that current politics is Democrats are underrepresented, that there's 50-50 senators and the 50 Democratic senators or something.
I'm making this up like 70 percent of the population.
Meanwhile, a lot of the Republican senators are from like Wyoming, North Dakota, South Dakota, et cetera, et cetera.
States with no people, just a bunch of land.
And that's that.
Apparently, I've just been learning about this today. Every time these states get put into place, it's political like this.
North Dakota and South Dakota are not two separate states because they are culturally and economically
diverse. They're two separate states because they saw a chance to get twice as many
senators and they took it.
And that's why they're separate based on what I read today.
So here are the Democrats kind of doing that.
I think the argument for statehood is pretty sound,
but I feel like the motives are not all that pure.
Yeah.
It's not like they're going to ask me to vote on it anyway. but I feel like the motives are not all that pure. Yeah.
It's not like they're going to ask me to vote on it anyway.
So I,
you know,
it's just like,
do it,
do what you want.
You know,
I don't care,
I guess.
Anything that might give me some legal weed,
you know, like maybe a,
DC is another state.
Maybe we get a couple more votes for my legal weed.
Maybe my record expunged a little
bit you know like they do have legal weed in dc i think legal shrooms as well um they really
yeah i'm pretty sure like like that's awesome 80 sure on the shrooms like like pretty fucking
sure on the weed uh so like you know i anything that that bolsters that whole thing is a go for me i don't like you know i don't
care about anything else like i'm pretty big on second amendment but uh i can't you know
can't have a gun until they fix the whole weed thing anyway so like
main concern is the weed thing so i don't care what i like you know everything's fine but really the weed thing
that's the thing though i do appreciate that that's the main thing it's all i care about
you'd be surprised the things i would i would agree to for legal marijuana like well we're
thinking maybe we'll just enslave the entire state of new mexico we're actually going to sell it to
china but we'll get legal weed but we get legal weed
i told kyle i would fuck it as many gave me head didn't even yeah yeah i did i did
oh man gateway drug i was gonna say like dc i i i support it only because of the the taxation
without representation thing you know like that does make sense because isn't that like
the reason why our country exists you know uh so that part is you know i i get it uh i do agree
with you though what about the you know like it is nefarious in in in essence because it's like
you know democrats want to have a a stable advantage um and it will give
them two more senate seats right uh but then there's also then i think about like puerto rico
you know uh which obviously is important to me uh being puerto rican and oh i just thought you're
tan no no no yeah no i'm definitely uh tan and puerto rican um yeah i'm double whammy boom boom you know
but that that whole conversation is so interesting because the uh like there's a part of the
population of the island that don't want statehood because you know that means that the culture
goes away right quote unquote you know the culture goes away they don't want
to pay the federal taxes though yeah they don't pay proper taxes in puerto rico that too but there's
there there is a for a lot of older uh puerto ricans areas that there's because there's about
what happened to hawaii is always what's brought up where it's like hawaii kind of just became like
just super touristy location the problem that i have with this, that Puerto Rico has become that.
And, you know, it is a it definitely is a problem because what ends up occurring is in Puerto Rico.
So many people, young folks like they'll they'll go to school or whatever, and then they just go to the mainland.
They just come here and then they don't take their skills back to the island because you know why would you you
know you're just gonna go and live your life elsewhere um so that kind of creates uh an
interesting dynamic between like the residents who like stay in the island choose to stay in
the island and then those who are like me that are puerto ricans that are like yeah you know
give puerto rico statehood but then what do you think about this like just best guess
do you think it is it like a 50 50 thing more people don't want to be a state more people
want to be a state dude they voted on it like like eight times already it feels like i'm probably
you know over exaggerating the number uh but they voted on a fair amount huh they've said no every
time like no no they say yes every time.
It's just not by a ton. I want to call it
55-45, but I'm looking to get it
right. Yeah, I don't know
the exact number, but it's a close win
every time for
yes. But then, you know,
like, Trump
was in office, so that wasn't going to happen.
But even then, it didn't happen with Obama
either, so it's like... Yeah don't know yeah but you know then then then always the the case is
like yeah but you know republicans control the senate of the house so like that's why it didn't
happen which again you know i guess it kind of sort of makes sense but still it's like it's
we've had opportunities in the past we've just you know never have done it um what are the benefits
of not being a state other than i guess not paying
federal taxes because that's fucking huge yeah is that true that you don't pay federal taxes
they it's not that simple they pay some kind of taxes and it's not the same as american taxes so
i don't know how to rego puerto rico residents are required to pay u.s federal taxes
but most residents do not have to pay the federal personal income tax that is the federal tax that
everyone gives a fuck about though like like yeah oh do they pay federal use tax like the
the out of state items they declare like what the fuck taylor it adds up to tens if not dozens of dollars a year
i love sassy woody about taxes
oh don't even oh was it use tax and i'm sitting over here like yeah i i know
you know when you use something at the paper i'm definitely not an expert on tax law you know so i mean sorry i didn't get that part of the
training uh in in esports commentator hang around here you'll pick it up quick yeah
but i i mean i really don't i really don't know i i've the argument that i've heard from my family
from you know family members that live in the island and stuff it's it's about culture that's
typically what it's been about but then i'm like yeah that doesn't make a lot of sense considering you know
like we still got our culture but you know we out here using the u.s dollar and stuff so it's like
what does it really matter i don't know why we're losing why would we want puerto rico to be a state
though like we keep talking about it from the angle of like yeah what do puerto ricans want and it's like i don't care
um i just yeah it's like what do americans want i think the idea would be is it better or worse for
the united states of america puerto rico becomes the state and gives you legal weed are you down
we could make the capital in puerto rico and san juan for all i care and and and if that gives me
my my legal weed i'll move there yeah i bet it's better weather i'll i'll i'll do the accent it is
beautiful so i did look up some votes uh the last two were 52 and 54 percent in favor of being a state. Wow. Razor thin. Wow. Yeah, yeah. Well, 54%
in a political race isn't
razor thin, but I also
feel like it's not this overwhelming slam dunk
when we're talking about statehood.
And then,
oh, I'm kind of on the, I kind of want
him to be a state, and my reasoning isn't
very sophisticated. It's just that
you know, every other time
ever in American history we've
made anything a state it turned out to be a good idea i'm glad hawaii is a state it's a huge revenue
generator i'm glad alaska's a state that thing was a joke and it turned out okay let's not compare
puerto rico to hawaii and alaska though those are like all-star states it's like yeah you know
there's that one thing that's as big as one third of the contiguous United States and gives us vital resources and a strategic launching point for the Russians.
We produce Bacardi.
That amazing tropical island chain that everyone in the world.
Puerto Rico is an amazing tropical island chain, too.
It's just not run by America.
It gives us a jumping off point to the to the to the to asia for
strategic purposes it's where pearl harbor is and then there's puerto rico sir we're next to jamaica
so yeah those jamaicans ever get uppity okay god damn jamaicans with their weapons of mass
destruction we're ready in our borders we're at the front line isn't Puerto Rico pretty fucked up right now
from that last hurricane
it sounds like a real
fixer upper of a state
yeah so
it'll be like a majority of the United
States then
I mean let's be real
there are a lot of states out there that need a lot of help and a lot of infrastructure and a lot of work.
Wait, wait, wait.
There aren't a lot of states out there that don't have electricity, though.
Yeah.
9% unemployment in Puerto Rico.
But they're not run by America yet.
You got to get in there, get some good management, you know, under new management, and it'll be the next Hawaii.
I don't know why.
Of course, it was 11% in 2017, so things will look good.
Yeah, at this rate.
I thought there were more than 3 million people there.
I thought there were a lot more Puerto Ricans for some reason.
I guess not.
There will be if you make a mistake.
No, what happened is we all came out here.
That's why.
We're all in the East Coast.
That's the reason, you know.
And then we just came out here and populated like rabbits.
The average income, $21,000 a year.
Oh, well, that's terrible.
Well, there's no industry in Puerto Rico.
There's no industry. They have wonderful natural resources like Hawaii, probably.
And they just need...
Do they have natural resources or is it just like tourism would be their thing
tourism is a natural resource for the purpose of this argument tourism would be the thing tourism
is the thing right but uh you know covid and then the storms and all that stuff like
so the chief export goods of puerto rico are as follows chemicals rum yeah uh beverage concentrates and uh canned tuna i went to
puerto rico and this i don't know how to say that like to my surprise it was just filled with
puerto ricans but like what do you expect woody i just didn't think they were going to have like cars on financially irresponsible wheels playing loud music in the streets and stuff.
I'm like, oh, right, right.
Puerto Ricans.
Yeah.
That's our people.
Literally rum.
So I Googled Puerto Rico exports, but they've got the thing on Google.
People also ask, and the people also ask, I clicked, was, what is Puerto Rico good for?
And it says Puerto Rico is one of the biggest and best rum-producing nations in the world.
Rum is their national drink.
You can buy it in almost any shade.
And Puerto Rico is the world's leading rum producer, with 80% of the rum consumed in the united states hailing from the island i figured out how to get kyle's vote they need to chop down the
rainforest and start growing pot they don't have a rainforest there uh well they they don't have a
rainforest but they have um uh what is it no it's el yunque is the uh i'll find it for you
uh it is our national It's our national forest.
Sorry, it's just a regular national forest.
I bet there's a park in my town in Atlanta
that's bigger than their national rainforest attraction.
It's not sold on Puerto Rico.
It's 28,000 acres.
28,000.
Oh, yeah.
That's actually not that big.
I know a guy who...
Our friend Brent has 80,000 in Texas. actually not that big. I know a guy who our friend Brent has
80,000 in Texas.
Well, you know what? I don't appreciate
this shit on Puerto Rican
show that you guys have going on.
What he was
talking about statehood.
You came on here. You're like, look, I'll come
on the show, but I want
my pro Puerto Rico platform
to be.
I came on to.
And then you made us sing the Puerto Rican anthem.
I did.
I didn't even know what I was saying.
I don't speak Spanish.
Neither do I.
God knows what I'll do.
You don't speak Spanish?
That feels like cheating.
I don't.
I don't.
We're called Nuyoricans.
That's not racist. Yeah. it's it's like a thing it's it's spelled differently too it's not new york rekans it's new yorkans
it's like a weird spelling of it and they they they equate us to basically you know regular
americans but we're poor we look like them but we're not them so that's there's there's a big difference a little bit
of a traitor i bet like ah leaving the homeland going to no most of them most of them are just
like he probably has a lot of money you know and then they're just probably more than 20 grand a
year yeah they're they're probably like yeah he's he's probably good. Meanwhile, I'm making like 25 grand a year.
Whatever, right?
Yeah, it's not the best situation out there. But to the original point of all this
regarding statehood for D.C.,
you know, yeah, I think it makes sense.
And, you know, give Kyle his legal weed
and then we're good to go.
Oh, D.C. you were talking about initially.
We initially started with D.C. and then I brought up puerto rico because obviously you know i would be more
interested in puerto rico than dc anyway so i'm glad yeah me too it's much funnier i have a
question golden boy do mlg pros pull tail out there i i they're like what are they called
something like that they they're pro hos just who just
dig professional gamers right i mean i i i think back then there was a lot of girls that there
were a lot of girls that were coming to events you know with with uh you know some of the players
and maybe some of them were single some of them were dating dating. I don't know. As I said before, I've been married for 12 years.
So I genuinely don't know anything about that whole world.
You don't even know, though?
Come on.
No, I truly don't.
I know NBA stars are pulling tail.
Oh, yeah.
Well, I'm sure the players are as well.
But you have to see it from my perspective.
When I was doing these events, I was oftentimes managing them commentating them managing all the talent like
when it came down to it i just wanted to grab a beer and then pass out and that was like my event
experience like everyone thinks like this glamorous thing but like back then especially where everyone
had to wear like multiple hats you know like one guy was a graphics guy but he was also a ref you know then another guy was our audio dude but he had manned man cameras on the main
stage like you know we had to figure out like all these different things to do because we didn't
have the money to pay people to do all of this so yeah i genuinely don't know i would imagine so you know uh i feel like if i'm a roadie for whatever aerosmith or something then i still
know about the aerosmith uh shenanigans even if i'm not a participant yeah right but you are
getting blown too yeah i was gonna say but roadies are also engaged in all that right
yeah you were married i'm pretty sure that's not the case i don't think these mlg I was going to say, but roadies are also engaged in all that, right? Yeah. Well, I wasn't engaged.
You were married.
I'm pretty sure that's not the case.
I don't think these MLG guys are fucking getting a lot of pussy.
I just can't see it happening.
Like, if they're good looking, then yeah.
But I think the real question is, are there like nerdy, gross looking guys who are good at video games who are getting pussy
because of that and i cannot imagine the answer to that ever being yes well you took it a little
far with gross nerdy good hygiene you've seen these people woody ah but the pros have a little
more together some do like i think if it's a good looking guy he's he's doing well regardless and and maybe being
on a stage means that more eyes are on him so it's like i don't know it's doing like a a super
swipe on tinder or something you know you just get yourself in front of more eyes you'll you'll
get laid more but i don't think that anyone is like oh his drop shot is so good. I'm just fucking soaked.
I'm fucking soaked.
Did you see?
Did you see how he built in Fortnite?
Did you see that?
I'm fucking dripping, Amy.
I'm fucking dripping.
Maybe we could blow him together.
Do you think he'd like that?
Do you think?
I don't know. Do you think he'd construct while we do it?
A couple of college girls like us.
Do you think he'd construct while we do it?
A couple of college girls like us.
He's probably just up to his ears in high school cheerleader poon.
We're probably just old hags to him at 19.
Jennifer, you think he would want to come watch our naked pillow fight?
How arrogant of you. I feel like anything said in that context just sounds so unreal.
Exactly. It's meant to. I don't see it happening. I just don't. But what I do see is like,
you know, there's some good looking guy who just happens to be on the main stage or whatever at
MLG event, blah, blah, blah. And now that means there's 50,000 people. And amongst that crowd of
50,000 are 10,000 women. And amongst that crowd of 50,000 are 10,000 women.
And amongst those 10,000,
there are 500 good looking ones of age.
And amongst those 500,
there's three or four who are like,
yeah,
fuck that guy.
Why not?
And that's the way things go.
So from his point of view,
man,
every city I go in,
there's three or four women throwing themselves at me.
That's good odds, I guess.
It's great odds.
Not bad. Well done.
Tremendous.
So really, if you're going to be famous,
there's no way to
get less sexual interest than being
a professional gamer, is your assumption.
Oh, it's got to be on the lower end of the total.
No, I think the lowest end is probably
professional eater. Janitor of the total. No, I think the lowest end is probably professional eater.
Like janitor of the year 2020.
Professional eater is gross to me.
I can hardly watch that event.
The Japanese guys are better because they're normal size.
Kobayashi.
So is Joby Chet?
Joby Chet's not.
Imagine being so good at eating hot dogs that you're a household name.
That's where Kobayashi's at.
That's crazy.
But everybody knows who he is.
He looks normal.
And so when you watch him eat,
it's like he trained his body and stretched his stomach.
You're muted, Kyle.
He trained his body, stretched his stomach,
literally worked out abdominal core stuff
to like, it is a bit of digestion
or whatever the fuck he said.
I bet there's so many gay men who are super into him.
Maybe. But he's standing next to absolute monsters,
to Woody's point, where it's like, you know,
Joe Bob, Jim Bob, is not training all year.
He's just showing up for another day of overeating,
and that's why he's going to get blown out by Kobayashi.
Isn't Joey Chestnut the best?
Yeah, yeah, the American beats that guy,
and he's not fat.
Yeah, Kobayashi is just known as the i looked it up he's known as the godfather of competitive eating so he's
like the guy who like he's 43 years old yeah he's 43 years old and it seems like he dude he just
weighs 128 pounds that's nice he's 5'8 5'8 128 pounds is he always hungry no he's five eight five eight hundred twenty eight pounds always hungry no he's definitely
not always hungry he's just like good he probably has tremendous willpower but do you see like if
you worked out every day by like drinking a gallon of water to stretch your stomach
would that not give you the impression that your stomach is empty go to his wiki and scroll down
a bit and you can see him flexing with a
competitive eating thing.
He looks better than Henry Cavill.
He's lean as can be
and clearly
he's immediately running all of this
hot dog calorie. I literally
think he has more desirable arms than Henry
Cavill.
He's also
5'8".
When you're shorter,
you get a nice bicep benefit
because your arms are shorter,
so your arms, like, your biceps bunch up more.
Whereas Henry Cavill, I'm sure, is taller.
I actually think Henry Cavill's physique is pretty good.
To me, it's Chris Evans who has the, like...
The overrated?
Like, you're Captain America.
Like, come on. Damn on damn man every gym has two
or three dudes who are more impressive than captain america i saw a dude the other day
wearing cowboy boots like walking out of the gym that's near me who looked yoked as fuck and he had
been working out in cowboy boots and he would beat the dog shit out of chris evans he was like like he like he had like like
crazy traps like bulging out of a t-shirt and it's just like yeah this i mean this guy is has a great
aesthetic like i think he's a super handsome man he's got an awesome chest but i don't know he's
just not a huge dude he's not like he doesn't look like what you now the top picture there
that's his best look i've
i've never seen him look so good as that top picture yeah that was the one i saw when i
looked up chris evans uh captain what the fuck is that from where he's got fake tattoos and and and
traps those are those are real tattoos apparently it says all of his tattoos and meanings so maybe
he covers up tattoos clearly yeah well those are some ugly tats i mean he looks he looks great
there his
traps are incredibly oversized so he's on yeah that's i don't like his traps they're too big
they're not i do like his traps and i like it because they're huge but like you know that his
honestly like his delts look good all right but like compared to his traps it is a disjointed
look on his delt where it's like dude if your
traps are that enormous unless you're on peds like your your delts are going to be out looking
like boulders not just like pretty on pds i think oh for sure well like wait what is it like
like all you have to just being on steroids makes your traps bigger because there's so many
androgen receptors in that area yeah and so clearly he's on
something but he looks great in that photo and even the one that's too the one what he said i
think he looks really good that's a decade ago you got to keep that in mind as well uh that bottom
picture there that's like captain america one you're right i mean time's flown but yeah like
clearly that's actually nuts that was that was a really long time ago. He's not skipping chest day.
Clearly.
Yeah.
He's gifted that his pecs,
like in the picture you linked with the tattoos,
his picture almost as overdeveloped as his traps,
but I don't mind it in the pecs.
It's great genetics.
It's just great genetics.
But still,
I was thinking more like that scene that I saw Derek point out where he and
Tony Stark are in the backyard arguing and Captain America's chopping wood.
And they've got him wearing like one of those Nike sport shirts that are like that thin ass material.
And it's like a size too small just to make him look like kind of big.
And it's like, no, no, you look like strong guy from any local gym,
but not strongest guy.
You look like strong guy.
I mean, honestly, you...
Even looking at that picture Woody, I'm sure,
has shown people watching,
you throw a tank top on that guy and change the face,
and that's someone I don't look twice at at the gym.
If I'm at the gym,'m i would probably look at some honestly if i see someone like that at the gym my thought
is like dude that guy's discipline with his diet is outrageous god i wish i could avoid overeating
the way that guy clearly has trained himself it wouldn't whereas there are other people at the gym
where it's like oh my look at the size of that guy's fucking quads it's like a it's like my torso you know it's so fucking you know so yeah it wouldn't even be like that guy's so muscular
thing it would be like a diet and overall fitness because i mean i would yeah i was gonna say i
would like yeah i would like i would much rather have that look on my body than my current one
i would lose a couple inches of my arms but but that's okay. I don't know how
big his arms are. They're not small.
I'm looking at it here. I'll show you the picture I'm looking at.
He doesn't have very big arms.
True. I mean, in terms of
elite people.
I think you guys value
size more than me because I see this aesthetic and I'm
like, that's fucking perfect. He's
nailing it.
He's nailing that. I'm with you, Woody. Make it bigger. Shoulders wider. Arms bigger perfect that's he's nailing it he's nailing that i'm with you woody make it
bigger shoulders wider arms big i just don't look look i think he's a handsome man and i think that's
a really great aesthetic i just don't think that's captain america i just think it's just like let me
let me hang up yeah what would what would a better captain america look like can you think of a person
like you you don't want captain america to be as jacked
as thor right like you like you don't want captain america to be a juji mufu
that's that'd be too big he wouldn't fit in that shirt
yeah and i also agree with your point about like the the optics of each uh hero as they stand next to each other. Like it shouldn't make sense that Captain America would be bigger than the God of Thunder.
Exactly.
You know, even if like you're suspending disbelief.
They're like, OK, this guy is super strong.
He's Captain America, but he's not even in the same realm as this guy's strength.
Who's Thor?
Like our animal human brain would not like it if we had
to internalize that let's imagine Captain America Chris Evans is twice as jacked and built and huge
let's say they put Brian Shaw or Jujimufu or some bodybuilder in his shoes are we supposed to watch
scenes with him six inches taller than Thor and broader by a foot and be like, oh, but that guy's still weaker
because of blah, blah, blah.
So clearly that's structured in that way as well.
Suspension of disbelief doesn't...
Yeah, they told Chris Evans to keep...
Hey, don't get too big.
Be sure not to get too big, Chris.
We don't want people thinking anything weird.
Of course, we do have Captain Marvel over there
who's a dainty little girl
and she is our strongest superhero but forget forget about that but she is imbued with a uh
an infinity stone so you know just throwing that out there kyle super hashtag lord dog
everyone knows this different universe that's i'm pretty sure you're fibbing well when you
so the picture you linked
of cat so the only the only issue with like the way that the comics drew captain america like
because then at that point right like find a picture of thor you know because four looks
like old school four like what you showed with the old school cap like it just is ridiculous like no no human looks like that that's my issue like i i
i see sometimes girls say oh it's not fair we need to live up these unrealistic hollywood standards
yet here like fake guys literally no man on earth has ever looked like this you know no man on earth
has ever looked like he-man i think some of these muscles don't even exist on human beings
right they didn't just take reality
and enhance it they added
a new reality the guys have like
10 packs and shit like
so
I don't know I guess Kyle's saying he'd like him to
come closer to this standard but
it's pretty hard to hit
I mean this drawing he's pretty jacked in this drawing
i mean look at the size of his arms man like written and this isn't even this doesn't even
state his size right like how tall thor is because i know that there's like a marvel uh catalog of
like the all the stats with all the superheroes and stuff.
He might be cool without that cape.
Yeah.
He might be cool without it.
They've danced with it a few times.
They've taken the cape off.
They've left the cape on.
They changed the cape style.
They're battle ready and fearsome without it.
Whereas with a cape, it's like you're going to a fancy dinner.
Right.
It's a special event. Now we now now look at look at chris hemsworth now like chris hemsworth looks like a
fucking comic book hero yeah boxing in this video because he is a comic book hero he's fucking
yeah it looks like he's the actual god of thunder. Is he getting ready for Thor?
He's getting ready for the new Thor movie.
Yeah.
This is in September, by the way.
This is in September.
He's had seven months.
He's almost eight months bigger now.
You sure it's not Hulk Hogan he's getting ready for?
Well, I mean, he's got both projects going on.
I don't know which one's happening first, but he's doing Hulk. I Well, I mean, he's got both projects going on. I don't know which one's happening first,
but he's doing Hulk.
I mean, I think both are the same body.
I don't think he's going to be like,
all right, now time to get even bigger for Hulk Hogan.
Like, I think he's just going for as big as I can fucking get
because he's, you know, for Thor and Hulk.
Dude, as big as you can fucking get is a great goal.
It's just, it's hard to, you know, make that about muscle gain and not just eating.
Well, have you seen recent pics of freaking Dwayne Johnson, man?
I mean, the dude is, yeah, he's a-
I have never heard anyone call him Dwayne Johnson.
Oh, come on.
That sent me through a little mental loop.
I was like, wait, Dwayne Johnson?
He would have said The Rock.
Well, prepare to go for a real spin
because I actually call him DJ.
Oh, now you're like five degrees Kevin Spacey
or whatever the fuck that is.
Holy smokes.
He looks like Juju in this picture.
Yeah, but he's getting massive, like well because he's doing black adam
so i guess like what's he made him super oh superhero yeah marl in dc dc universe oh so
okay if you've seen uh shazam uh that's the that's his like villain but black adam has become
an anti-hero now kind of like venom so they're you
know doing that whole thing uh yeah i mean he's getting just jacked out of his mind
or a quarter of a billion followers on instagram jesus christ i'm starting to think he's not just
on a testosterone replacement dose you know i think he might be on something more serious would he call me crazy i may be call me a kook he may have elevated levels of tea i don't think dj is
you know everything about you see the protruding chest vein tells me there's
there's a couple of injections i just went to his actual
instagram page i'm gonna get a couple he's yoked out of his mind but yeah he's he is on quite the
step i definitely think that picture is uh for sure either wide end or something like that i
don't know because there are a few other ones too where like it looks a little slimmer his
profile is a little slimmer so i don't know but yeah he's he's just he's jack dude like everybody likes the rock yeah he's incredibly charismatic
like and he has good like little motivational tips all the time and it is you know people think
that stuff's stupid you know if you if you allow yourself to like get into it it's not you know
hey he's a good dude tips and things of you know
like jocko willink is another guy like that except he does it the wrong way i think because he'll
he'll do stuff like i wake up at 4 10 in the morning and then i work out until six and then
i podcast and then that's my entire day why don't you guys do this? And it's like, well, because people have jobs, Jocko. My frustration with Jocko is how he's like,
it happens with Navy SEALs a lot.
They get his perspective on stuff where he lacks expertise.
You know, hey, would you like a Navy SEALs opinion
on police brutality?
Would you like a Navy SEALs opinion on DC statehood?
We asked a Navy SEAL what they think of the latest Marvel movie.
There's a Navy SEAL weighing
in on it. We went to Jocko Wilnick,
former Navy SEAL, to talk about
irregular periods.
That's right, girls. Listen up.
Actually, I know a lot about
spotting.
You guys did great with it.
I was a spotter in the Marines.
Spotter in the Marines.
Now who's Jesse Ventura talking about yeah i just completely switched at that point yeah um i i do like
like getting a navy seals opinion on some things like especially if it has to do with navy seals
yeah or like or like if we're looking at marine corps training and we're comparing it to
like navy seal training who better than a fucking navy seal beautiful like but but if it again if
it's a regular period close quarters combat you know let's talk about let's hear what a navy seal
has to say about this guy who's actually fired his weapon with aggression like i like it yeah
but yeah putting stuff he doesn't know that much.
BenQ's new gaming monitor has a refresh rate
of 240 hertz.
We went to former Navy SEALs.
It's like,
I don't know what that means, but
it's a high number.
It's a high number.
The higher the better.
That's all I know.
Now we're talking about delays.
You want a low number on that, the input lag.
Oh, input delay.
Oh.
If you're not sub five milliseconds, you've got a real problem.
Let's go to Jocko Willing to see what he thinks.
But, yeah, I put it all on Jocko.
It's not just a Jocko thing, but he does have kind of a podcast about his expertise fucking everywhere.
And it can be a little like,
Hey,
you know what?
Like,
uh,
I've got a workplace politics situation.
Let's weigh in.
Let's get a Navy sealed away in on workplace politics.
Tell you how to navigate the office there.
Speaking of workplace,
workplace politics.
I saw this clip the other day and it's this,
uh,
this trans woman.
And,
uh,
and she's very
attractive by the way i had no idea she was trans she's beautiful and she's just like um so i wanted
to go home the other day i was just done so i go to my boss and i look her straight in her face and
i say i need to go home my period cramps are terrible.
That's hilarious.
Because what could she say?
She can't say anything.
In my head, I'm just like, what are you thinking, Jackie?
What are you about to say next?
Because no matter what it is, if it's not have a nice day, I'll see you tomorrow, then it's transphobic.
That's right, baby.
I'm going home.
I'm going home.'m going home and i was just like you couldn't say anything to that like if if if a trans person like if you're why not hey that happens to everyone and
we don't take off work for it you mine are too let's see if we can tough it out together that
girl power yeah that's because apparently the boss's name was jackie she needs to
pull the i'm a girl too and i work through it that's what i was thinking in my head but clearly
it didn't go that way because she's at home making this instagram video gonna get herself
what an asshole it was on i think it was on i'm a total piece of shit it was on that subreddit
it's a total piece of shit thing to do.
Be like, hey, guess what?
There's an HR loophole where I can go home every day.
Yeah.
I'm having one of those 15-month periods, huh?
Yeah.
You know how it is.
You know, the hormone therapy and everything.
I got to go home again.
Got to go home.
Too good.
You know, if you find out that you can play that card
why not play it every single day you know i would if i'm in if i'm in her shoes
fuck that every day i've got cramps or some problem until they call me on the shit you
could yes some girls say you have diarrhea terrible terrible uh menstrual cramps and it's like debilitating um so i i see no
problem with the video well i mean i don't either i think it's funny that well i mean i think it's
funny i just think that like if i said hey boss i have god-awful diarrhea i need to go home
immediately and then i went home and pasted on Facebook. I fooled my dumb ass boss. I'm really fine.
Well,
now see the difference would be if your doc,
if you're,
if your boss knew you had a colostomy bag and you were complaining about
diarrhea.
And I just,
I was like,
Hey,
I've got diarrhea boss.
I looked him right in his fucking face while I was holding my colostomy bag
in my hand.
Cause what could he say?
No matter what you're about to say,
it's going to come out anti-veteran.
Yeah.
No,
I got shot in the intestines and interact.
Stand in here,
dripping shit onto your floor.
Get the hell out.
Go home,
go home.
Don't unplug that bag again,
please.
I don't think diarrhea is a real problem.
If you've got a colostomy bag,
I feel like you,
you can just like,
like it,
you can just eat whatever you want.
I mean,
maybe not to the point of getting
fat, but they don't care about it. I hear people always like, oh, I can't eat Taco Bell anymore.
It just goes right through. First of all, you've got a digestive problem. If you can't handle Taco
Bell, if it's going to ruin your life, you've got bigger problems than your food decisions.
There's something wrong inside of you. You should know.
Because there's nothing that I can eat that will give me crippling diarrhea.
You know what?
White Castle does a number on you.
How many White Castles do you have to eat before you have an actual gastrointestinal emergency, though?
I mean, usually if I'm'm eating white castle it's a minimum
of like 15 okay well i think we just put our finger on the problem taylor you're eating 15
burgers that are covered with and i know you know this not onions but cabbage that's true it's
cabbage flavored onion or onion flavored cabbage correct in addition to those 15 burgers i offset it by drinking like
40 ounces of diet pepsi and i mean that's cheese fries now that you mention it like the last time
i really did have like like so like like intestinal cramps and it was painful and it was a problem
white castle white i remember it so well because it was like i've hurt myself with white castle. I remember it so well because it was like, I've hurt myself with white castle.
Like I was in a,
I went up to Tennessee to visit this girl.
She was like,
she was there on a work trip and she had this nice suite and in some hotel
and,
uh,
and she had weed.
And,
uh,
and I was like,
yeah,
let's,
let's go downstairs.
Let's go get some fucking great food. Like let's sort of fast food, white downstairs. Let's go get some fucking great food.
Like some sort of fast food.
White Castle.
Let's go get some fast food.
And then let's get stoned in your car.
Let's come up here, eat the food.
Fuck.
And it's going to be the best night ever, right?
And so we go to White Castle.
You didn't fuck that night.
Oh, we did.
Because the White Castle doesn't kick in for us.
You had the energy after White Castle?
Oh, absolutely.
You probably didn't have 15 of them. Oh, I don't Because the White Castle doesn't kick in first. You had the energy after White Castle? Oh, absolutely. Especially with the weed.
You probably didn't have 15 of them.
Yeah.
Oh, I don't remember how many I had, but it was more than 15.
Because when you go to White Castle or Crystal, which is the southern alternative, which is more likely what we had.
It's like, all right, you can get eight burgers for like $5.
I'm making numbers up.
Or you can get a dozen for seven dollars or
you can get the the white castle crave case right a crave nice round table bag that has fucking
38 burgers in it and 14 orders of fries and you can mix and match them and you can get some chicken
chicken burgers too and it's only 37 cents that's right it's almost we're giving them away and it's like well shit i got i'm
losing money if i don't get 40 burgers right now so i just remember i ate an ungodly amount of
those burgers and i i can remember how painful the cramps were i had actual like cramping from like
eating those fucking burgers and never again have i eaten more
than like six at a time you you can't you should not eat more than five at a time but even five
white castle burgers or crystal like you're saying crystal white castle it's the exact same thing
uh five of those doesn't even equal i would say five is like one quarter pounder from mcdonald's
worth of like yeah legit meat and food and like i've said this
many times and anyone who's eaten white castle knows this that the the shit after you eat white
castle it doesn't smell like shit white castle it smells like you're back inside white castle
it's like you i like you you're like laying in bed and of course i'm like laying on my
side with like my knees tucked up if i had a bunch of white cast all the gas out and like you'll rip
ass and it's like it's it smells like i'm hungry again rings and those are in like but there's
something off-putting about a fart that smells exactly like the establishment that where you
ate the food that created the fart and so like i've also noticed that if you're in the shower after
eating a bunch of white castle and you fart somehow that the speed of that fart that fart
that asshole to nose transition that speed it's even faster than a normal fart like usually it's
almost instantaneous with white castle you can smell it before you've even made the decision to fart. So if you ever want to make your own White Castle, I made this recipe.
That's absurd. I have illegal immigrants to do it for me.
I made this recipe when it came out back March 25th, 2019. It's incredible. So this is Sam,
the cooking guy, one of my favorite cooking YouTubers. And he like, I don't remember exactly
how you do it,
but I remember you'd like press out this like rectangle of beef into a very thin patty and you
pre-score it so that you can break them into chunks and you poke the holes in it, just like
the burgers have for the steam to go through. And then you freeze that in the freezer so that it's
solid. And then you put this frozen burger patty on top of the onions.
And I think he might use jalapenos in this video.
And the onions and jalapenos steam comes through the holes in the burgers
and cooks them.
And then you're able to like tear them off into individual burgers.
And you put them on Hawaiian rolls.
They're incredible.
They're super fucking good.
It sounds better than White Castle burgers.
It is better than White Castle burgers. It has probably actually good ingredients. Yeah, because you're super fucking good. It sounds better than White Castle Burgers. It is better than White Castle Burgers.
It has probably actually good ingredients.
Yeah, because you're making it yourself.
So you're not using cabbage.
You're using onions and jalapenos.
When you look at a White Castle Burger,
you know where the burger itself is.
You can hold a quarter up to it,
and it's barely bigger than a quarter.
The grease soak lines into both buns
are way thicker than the burger itself.
Yeah.
I actually like the little hot dogs they have at those places and the chicken sandwiches.
They're hot dogs.
They're good.
I'm watching this video, by the way.
It's so good.
I'm watching this video, too.
I love shit like this.
I love it.
You'll love this guy's channel.
I like him a lot.
He's got like's got he cooks some
really great recipes.
If you're wanting to do some sort of a cheat meal
or something like that,
he's the one who makes, he's like an epic meal
time who's like a gourmet chef.
So it's not just absurd
amounts of bacon, no offense Harley.
It's like
here's a professional chef
making an epic meal for one and uh and
and so he'll make he'll make like filet mignon burritos and it's like oh my god you made burritos
i love this little outdoor kitchen i was about to say it's very aesthetically pleasing it's got a
calm aura to it i like that yep and uh and and just like harley he's jewish and jewish people
do everything better so his his whole like that that that uh that uh like stove top thing he has
is very expensive i looked it up once it's like eight or ten thousand dollars or something
really ten thousand dollars i don't know you're talking about the the actual stove itself not the
like that top thing.
Yeah, the circular thing to his right.
Those are super expensive.
His dynamic range sucks
in this video.
I like how he's just rolling.
He's improved. This is 2019.
He's a huge channel. He's 2.7 mil.
He's making this whole thing.
He's not even going to take apart
the beef or the
bread, the buns. He's just going to make apart the beef or the the bread the buns he's
just going to make it all as one thing he'll tear them apart once it's cooked that's that's very
smart so he's allowing the steam from the onions and the peppers to go through the burger patties
into the buns and so he's steaming the buns melting the cheese and uh and everything while the burgers
cook and when it's like i cooked this and um for for me and a girlfriend and it we were blown away
by how fucking turned out really well i bought a like a special like stovetop cast iron skillet
thing it's like a big giant square cast iron griddle to like do this on that goes on top of like
I've got a gas stove so you just put it
on top of the eyes and turn them both
on heat them up it's amazing everything
he cooks just about you're like oh my god
that looks incredible I want to take it back
though he's he has enough pros
to outweigh that con I'm not wrong as dynamic
rain is bad but what does that
mean production value
the bright spots are all blown out like
if you look at any scene where behind him there's like son he can't son max does all that um and and
he's like this he's a professional but he's gotten better like like and their relationship is really
funny because he'll give his son a hard time if he's not getting the shot right and his and and
the son will give the dad a hard time
if like he's not presenting well like he's just like well we can't see anything now yeah your
arms in the way do it left-handed he's like all right i'll chop the meat left-handed let's see
how that goes for us i like dynamics like that that's my favorite juji's channel as i think is
improved with that now that his wife runs the
camera there's a guy called um it might be jenny's garage he like fixes small motors and stuff and uh
he does this thing he always pretends he doesn't know who his wife is who's filming him so he
refers to her as camera girl and he's always like you know the camera girl's getting this wrong or that wrong and
it's pretty hilarious so yeah this guy's great for cooking stuff um so is uh chef john from
foodwishes.com with he's got this cool cadence that he does everything with and he's got a
million fucking recipes it's um i think it's called food wish wishes is his youtube channel um he's he might be my favorite
and then um the other one is uh i'm drawing a blank fuck fuck cooking with babish or whatever
it's called binging with babish that's it oh you're thinking of binging with babish yeah that's
really what i was saying yeah but i know you him. I learned a garlic bread recipe from him that he did from Scott Pilgrim vs. the World.
Yep.
That he like emulated Scott Pilgrim's – well, not emulated because he just put it in a microwave.
I know a thing or two about product integration and how much those pay.
Binging with Babish is making so much goddamn money.
I think if I had to guess i would say 10 million a year
he is making so much goddamn money like that's just my guess just like based on watching his
videos and seeing how often that there is product integration like how big is this channel um i
don't know several million but but it's it's just it's the targeted demographic and 8.7 million wow and how
like to the forefront the products will be like like he did one he'll do like one for the national
port review or some shit and it's like yeah we're just cooking with pork this episode sponsored by
the national port review or it'll be like butcher box or it'll be bounty paper towels and he'll find
excuses to put to say bounty the quicker picker picker upper and put it
right in the shot and like be like yeah thank whoops i spilled stuff everywhere thank goodness
i've got my bounty quicker thicker and he'll like go through a whole thing and i'm watching i'm like
yeah i don't mind i don't mind that you're selling paper towels to me because i i'm liking this
recipe like he got so much money dropped on him
by bounty for that that's what i was thinking like that one in particular that's such a massive brand
isn't bounty a j and j company or a p and g company it's huge it's one of the main ones like
they're owned by like one of those giant conglomerates that's like a third of consumer
goods period it's like procter and gamble where it's like oh is that one of the brands you like
at the store well there's a 30 chance it's procter and gamble yeah yeah it's
like arm and hammer too they they own everything um he did uh he just did one with uh spongebob
squarepants i don't think so he won't get paid for stuff like that for like i'm almost certain
he got paid for this one because but it's not like there's any news.
What was the scenario for it?
He's making the Krabby Supreme from SpongeBob SquarePants.
This was in 2019.
The only reason why I say that he did is because I did a conference for Kellogg's.
And they talked about their integrated brand stuff for spongebob and uh yeah they're very
they're very clever with how they incorporate things into spot or like incorporate spongebob
into daily life like they were touting the fact that spongebob squarepants was like the most
memed piece of content like i think the number was something absurd it was like every
second like 200 spongebob gifs are shared across instagram twitter reddit like that like they they
they track it all i don't know god knows i don't know how but they were going through the numbers
and i'm like bro these people are yeah the only reason I didn't think it was would be branded at all is because I didn't realize
that Kellogg owned SpongeBob and was using it for products.
I was I guess there's like SpongeBob fucking Pop-Tarts or some shit that I don't know about.
Yeah.
Yeah.
They have like they have the SpongeBob relationship.
So like they were talking about how spongebob is so integrated in media and then it
was just like this real crazy conversation that they had so it wasn't necessarily like kellogg's
own spongebob it was like kellogg's has the distribution of food products the same way that
like like like like uh like i do have some background in consumer products so i like so
you know crest colgate oral spider-man spider yeah stuff like that they'll
purchase the rights to spongebob spider-man superman whoever and have their you know oh we
have a superman we have a spongebob toothbrush and so even though like the show's not that big
anymore the ip for it is insanely valuable yeah yeah again though he might not have gotten paid yeah yeah probably not but
the ones where he's clearly getting paid for is like like he'll tell you like this episode's
being brought to you by the national pork review like like like the other other white meat pork
what's for dinner or whatever the fuck he says and then he'll cook like all these pork stuff
and by the end of it i'm like god damn i want some pork tenderloin i want some pork tenderloin i
didn't know you could take a whole pork tenderloin and roll it up with
prosciutto in the middle and fucking like bake the whole goddamn thing.
That looks incredible.
Oh my God.
He got,
he makes incredible stuff.
Like,
like he does such high,
like for four 20,
he made this space cake from some movie.
I mean,
uh,
I'm pretty sure he was putting weed frosting and,
and weed butter in it
because New York just legalized marijuana.
It looked really fucking cool.
I'm watching it right now.
I'm watching it right now.
Skip to the end just to look at how beautiful the cake is.
Oh, dude.
I texted you guys in our group chat today.
Did you see Virginia legalized marijuana finally?
Yeah.
That's a nice first step.
They were saying the first southern state.
Maybe I'm weird.
I do not think of Virginia as southern at all because it's not even further south than Missouri.
And I don't think of Missouri as a southern state.
I think of Missouri as a southern state before Virginia.
What's that?
They're a blue state now, which is kind of not Southern, but
where was the capital of the Confederacy?
I just mean geographically.
Richmond!
Richmond, right?
Then they're relocated to either
Georgia or Alabama.
Something like that, yeah.
To me, Southern
is about the war.
About the Civil War. That's what Southern is to me war, about the Civil War.
That's what Southern is to me.
So they were like not just a participant.
It's the Mason-Dixon line.
Yeah, right?
Well, that went right through Missouri.
Virginia's like the capital of the Civil War.
They're the leading arm, the tip of the spear on this thing. Tip of the civil war it's they're the the leading arm the the tip of the spear on this thing
it's funny how you look at it because like literally i'll look at it and like i live in
st louis for alex's benefit and i'll just like draw a line like with mentally across the country
and if it's north of that it's like that's not a southern state what What are you? I don't live in the South. I'm in St. Louis.
And so like,
I feel like,
like what I consider the South is like Florida,
Georgia,
Alabama,
Mississippi,
Texas.
I guess I'd throw,
well,
Arkansas.
And I might even throw,
I'll throw Kentucky and Tennessee in there too.
But you know,
that,
that whole section
and even tennessee is a stretch because they're barely to the south of us but like and then i'll
talk to other people i'm like oh missouri like a southern state it's like no not i totally look at
it about civil war participation like texas for example i was kind of before the south you know
is new mexico part of the south no like no that's the new south that's a different thing
yeah uh okay we have a different definition of east but i'll take it
as soon as he said it i was like ah you know what their show so i don't want to say anything
okay stepping on us for being retarded.
It's kind of my thing.
So you're stepping on my routine.
No, but yeah, yeah.
I'm all about like when you were like, Tennessee is kind of sound like Tennessee, Kentucky,
Virginia, Alabama, North Carolina.
This is like South, south. Georgia, this is where the heart of the slave-owning southern shit came from.
I don't think North Carolina is the south.
And that's south of Missouri.
I guess, yeah, looking at the map, Florida, Georgia, South Carolina, Tennessee, Alabama, Mississippi, Louisiana, Arkansas, Oklahoma, Texas.
Those would
be the ones I consider the true South. You go to Southern Missouri, Missouri, or they call it that
instead of Missouri. That is very Southern, but I still barely think of that as the South.
Wow. The list of Southern states is not what I expected. I Googled it, right?
Yeah.
These are not going to be on your list. All right. So Alabama, Arkansas, Delaware.
What?
Florida, Georgia, Kentucky, Louisiana, Maryland, Mississippi, North Carolina, Oklahoma, South Carolina, Tennessee, Texas, Virginia, West Virginia, D.C.
West Virginia. West Virginia, D.C. West Virginia.
West Virginia is totally southern to me.
Maryland is blowing my mind that they're saying Maryland is southern.
That is so north.
The Mason-Dixon line runs through New Jersey.
I grew up south of the Mason-Dixon line.
That's why I discount that bullshit.
See, I think that maybe it was just different the way we were taught here.
Because Missouri was such a split state, see i think that uh maybe it was just different the way we were taught here because like uh because
missouri was such a split state a ton of people in missouri didn't even like fully participate in
the civil war uh and so like yeah i guess from the missouri perspective like the southern part
of the state was more southern but they didn't even really fight for the south that much and
the northern part was more yeah they, they were kind of hanging out,
we were taught.
Like, they had some other problems in the same era.
The Mormons were a huge issue in Missouri in the 1800s.
There was the Missouri Mormon War.
You can look that up, where a bunch of Missourians were like,
these fucking Mormons are marrying 15 people and they're acting weird. We don't
like them. That's why they're all in Utah now.
The Missourians chased them out.
Literally
warred with them and chased them out. That's why there's no
Mormons in Missouri anymore and they're all in
Utah. I think I was wrong about the
Jason line.
Locally, we always thought it went
straight across.
It seems like a hard right angle.
I've seen several pictures that just have it duck south for some reason.
Did Delaware even have slaves?
I don't know.
I don't know what the hell's going on in Delaware.
They're not growing produce and cotton.
Are they?
I don't know what happens in Delaware.
Delaware's just chilling, man. Their estate is just chilling. and cotton and are they i don't know what they i don't know what happens in delaware delaware is
just chilling man their estate is just chilling you know that's where that's where you go to
fake a business and operate it out of california you know what i mean now delaware's chief income
is those like three fucking tolls on i-95 they get you back to back to back yeah exactly
why is it another two dollars i've been four miles like yeah welcome to delaware
with those state taxes here we just get tourists uh that's funny not even delaware tourists people
who wish they were new york on their way most people just going through it you know what i
mean and they're just they're the contact contact tourism yeah you know uh we were just talking about which states were southern kyle kyle yes is north carolina a southern state yes okay virginia um we don't really think of it as such
at this point but um uh i think they're more southern leaning for the most part like if i had
they're more southern than northern but but
they're very i think of it as mixed you know like like it's it's biracial west virginia
oh big time southern state yeah okay and how do you pick whether a state's southern or not
is it geography for me it was participation it's more about the culture it's it to me it's about
the current culture i do see your civil war point in the mason dixon line
um but uh but but for me it's uh it's it's it's more about how the culture is there and what that
what that's like and when i think west virginia i think mountain folk uh coal miners uh blue collar
hard working not so educated and all of those things just scream southern to me by your
definition large parts of pennsylvania are southern yes i mean i mean yeah yeah it's
pencil tucky for like most of their land area yeah i agree with that a hundred percent that's
absolutely true i've been up there yeah Yeah, uh-huh, it is.
It's like a big time.
I didn't go to Scranton, but I was close enough to Scranton that there were road signs that said Scranton X amount of miles.
So I was probably within 50 miles of it.
And that's where they paid me to like fly up there and appear at
that gun show that time and i'm gonna tell you there was some good old boys all right they that
it was one of those gun shows that had way too many nazi artifacts for sale for my liking like
like like look i'm all for for historical uh you know I noticed there wasn't
a whole lot of
British stuff laying
around on shelves and there wasn't a whole lot
of Russian or
Japanese. There wasn't a Nambu.
Were they at least selling
this is a German gun from World War II?
Or was it like, this is my flag
collection?
Because that would make a difference for sure yeah yeah
seemed a little gung-ho on the nazi stuff yeah i like your description of it too that
historical artifacts i've covered this so many times but i especially like ones that have seen
combat you know like uh just the idea that some guy in fear clutched this in mud while taking
cover is is fascinating to me like this has been there and it's not just war like i i went to a
spot where um native american indians washed their clothes and it still looked like you could you
know like you could see why they chose this part of the riverbank and stuff.
And I was like, huh, I bet there was quite the social scene right here.
You know, women squatting next to the moving water, talking to each other, hanging out with like the gossiping and the social stuff that would happen.
Like we've said it before on the show.
And it's like, like.
There's nothing wrong with owning historical artifacts, obviously.
You have a Luger or some gun that a Nazi carried.
That's pretty fucking cool.
That's a piece of history, a literal piece of history.
What you don't want is to be a guy who only collects Nazi stuff.
Be a World War II guy.
Yes.
Look at this. Balance it out. look at this japanese really weird look they put a magazine on top isn't that crazy and it's circular you know and then
look at this luger this german piece of engineering so cool instead of like welcome to the nazi stuff might be more i have historic british american japanese and russian
like guns you got to get a german one round it out man i they must be expensive or something
there must be a reason that i don't have like i mean they literally made better guns than everyone
else in world war ii so it makes more sense to be more desired. I don't like to believe that.
American guns weren't as good?
No, we got...
We did beat them.
We did beat them, but it was by sheer numbers.
I was reading this really interesting thing.
This was years and years ago.
A friend of mine who was in the military turned me on to it
because he was talking about World War II tactics and stuff.
I was saying the same thing you were, Woody.
I was like, dude, we buttfucked him.
We won.
He's like.
Yeah, 1911 was cool.
Look up the equivalent of the kill-death ratio in World War II.
And look at what divisions are the best.
And I was like, okay.
That's not fair.
Russia was pub stomping.
They were like.
No, it wasn't Russia.
It was Germany.
Germany ran up their numbers by hanging out in russia
damn it i didn't think of that point yeah when we were you might be right i don't know if they
were counting like civilian deaths or what but like it didn't make us look good like especially
i think his name is rommel rommel the guy who was in Northern Africa, who everybody respected as a very brilliant journalist, not journalist, fucking general, where he, I think Kyle's talked about this, where he manufactured a charge towards a much superior numerically enemy in order to build big, huge clouds of dust behind him so that they would think a much larger force was storming towards them.
And like they,
they retreated and that's something that was brought up,
but it's like a faint in boxing.
But yeah,
his box is,
was what he was called.
Um,
yeah,
it's super successful.
Uh,
I want to say,
um,
D day would have gone down differently if Rommel hadn't been like either on
vacation or injured. I don't remember
which it was but it was one or the other like he was either back home with his wife or or something
like that and and that's why like yeah dude if Rommel was there we probably would have been in
big trouble because like he and Patton are referred to as like the the top military tactic generals
at the time hmm yeah I don't know about Patton really as much I don't know about Patton. Really?
As much.
I don't know about any of them.
Patton had gotten into so much trouble with the War Department.
I want to say maybe it was part of D-Day
where they assigned Patton
somewhere way off, somewhere else
as a diversionary tactic
because the Germans believed him to be our
greatest general and they were like well they got patton over here there's no way they're coming over
there and uh like maybe and and i know they had a lot of pr issues with patton have you ever seen
the the movie uh patton with george scott yeah it's a good where it opens in the winter where
he walks out on the stage with his crop or whatever.
His riding crop and his bloused pants.
Yeah, he looks really cool.
Come back.
That movie's like four hours long or something absurd.
Yeah, I'm actually looking it up.
It's 172 minutes.
1969.
Yeah.
It's not as good as Lord of the Rings.
He didn't believe in PTSD. He thought those men were cowards.
He'd slap them around. Well, back then not as good as Lord of the Rings. He didn't believe in PTSD. He thought those men were cowards. He'd slap them around.
Well, back then it wasn't called PTSD.
It was called shell-shocked.
Yep.
It's called being a pussy.
It's called being a pussy,
and you're not standing up to what you need to do, soldier.
It's like, my nerves are frayed and destroyed, General.
I need to go home, please.
I'm going to have lifelong problems with forming and trusting people because of what you've done they covered shell shock really well
in um band of brothers like you'd see people kind of like guys who were they went from kind of
rookies or maybe just good to great to like somehow over the hill courage wise you know not with it anymore
yeah a little well yeah you've worn out i think it's the bastone episode of that show
where the the guy who was previously like a very strong like look to him he'll lead us he's blonde
right blonde guy exactly i don't recall his name but you know exactly i'm
talking about and like but i remember seeing that episode for the first time and part of me was like
wait no no this is a strong character no this isn't how it's supposed to go and then like it's
kind of like no no one is so strong that they're resilient to these things i felt like it led up to
that like previous episodes showed him not as great
as he had been that's true yeah yeah it does show him leading up and kind of getting jaded
maybe jaded's not the right word but i guess you know ted wasn't in the game yeah he had kind of
become disenfranchised with whatever mission they had and was more like this is this is hell war is hell five miles up five
miles down what a great fuck and they are the guy uh david schwimmer guy from friends
he played i killed that role he did so well not to say that he played that because as i'm watching
it i'm like i fucking hate you david schwimmer yeah and you're supposed to they got me too they hooked me
into really disliking
and not respecting him
you know and when Colonel Winters is like
hey you know we salute the uniform not the
man or something like that or the rank
not the man and it's like
I don't he needed to
be told that the fuck you know
like he was being a baby
and like I don't know the fact
that i'm upset right now yeah it's a testament to how well he killed that role yeah he did great
he did great the same way that like you can i mean i was going to use joffrey as an example
but frankly ramsey swept in and stole his thunder as far as like those kind of characters that are
easily hateable in Game of Thrones.
Joffrey was so snotty.
Like you hated him and it's a different kind of hate.
Because you didn't respect him.
Yeah, Ramsey's scary.
Joffrey, because you know you could
beat the shit out of Joffrey.
Yeah. But Ramsey is gonna
like come at y'all shirtless in a
corridor with a blade in each
hand and he might he might come in his pants if you stab him like like he's such a fucking weirdo
joffrey never earned anything he had joffrey was completely undeserving of all that power
and ramsey earned everything he had that is actually very true you're changing my mind it's very true oh ramsey ramsey was a
freaking amazing uh villain like i feel like both were oh a joffrey and ramsey both were great
villains yeah like joffrey in different ways yeah in different ways i hated joffrey i i i really
hated joffrey and then afterwards i was like oh what am i gonna do without joffrey to hate
joffrey like he was so perfect and the actor retired yeah did he really yeah yeah he didn't
like being an actor he he decided to go to medical school instead really yeah i think it was something
like that he's a very smart guy. I remember watching some interview
a long time ago because I was like, I need
to see an interview with this kid so I don't just
irrationally hate him forever.
I watched it and he was like,
what do you think about everyone hating Joffrey?
It was just a nice kid.
Really, if anything, it speaks
to how well I'm playing the part.
I'm supposed to be hated and so it's a good
thing. They're like, you don't want to continue acting? He's like, no, I think I'm supposed to be hated, and so it's a good thing.
And they're like, you don't want to continue acting?
He's like, no, I think I'm going to pursue higher education instead.
Something to that.
He's semi-retired, apparently.
It says that he's independent theater,
and he's in a movie right now, or he's in a series on BBC.
That's about it.
Oh, okay.
Yeah.
I think it was $20 because I think it was $10 for the death pool we agreed on and then uh i owed you five for the blues losing to the avalanche last week and the blues
just now i didn't want to send it because they were tied two to two for a bit and then
colorado pulls away three to two in the third and they score on the empty net. 4-2 win, so I sent you the full $20 dues.
This has been just what an awful year to bet every single game.
St. Louis versus Colorado, where St. Louis collapses.
So Alex, Kyle, and I bet.
I'm a huge NHL fan.
I'm a huge St. Louis Blues fan.
And Kyle just follows it to humor me,
and he liked the Colorado Avalanche this year.
And so we bet $5 on every game.
This year?
In the preseason.
Like before the season started, it was very well known.
You know, the Blues are going to be very competitive.
The Avalanche are going to be very competitive.
And so I'm like, oh, this is going to be really cool.
They're in the same division.
It's a COVID division.
And so they play each other like seven times throughout the year.
Really cool.
And Blues win the first game and after the blues win the first game we make the bet so i got no no no five dollars for the first game they played so it was you know potentially
30 bucks it's a good year for me i just the blues have gotten injured so bad and colorado has been
on the hottest –
Colorado is going to win the fucking Stanley Cup this year.
My God.
They are strong.
I'm so mildly interested.
I can't even stand it.
And then the only bet I've lost I think that I can remember is the Ben Askren bet,
but I kind of knew that –
I just wanted to bet.
If I were betting real money, I'd have probably put it on Paul because Askren can't fucking box.
Of course he can.
Dude.
I think that's the only one I've lost.
So I won the money on that, Kyle and I bet.
Yeah.
I started to lose confidence.
I felt pretty good about my Ben Askren pick.
I'm sorry, about my Jake Paul pick.
Because Ben Askren's boxing, I followed it for years and it's awful.
Yeah.
And then everyone started saying ben was
clearly gonna win dana white wanted to bet a million dollars chel sunnins got my head all
twisted as if he could pick a winner um and he was hitting mitts everyone said his hitting mitts
was amazing i watched it it wasn't fucking amazing i don't know if you guys have ever had anyone hold
mitts for you but it makes even a slow
boxer like me look twice as
fast because he meets you halfway.
The guy holding the mitts is sitting here hitting
all your hands. I could move my hands
four inches and might look half
decent on mitts if the guys
do all the work for me.
It sounds so loud. I don't
hit all that hard.
The guy just
playing patty kick.
It's like patty kick, patty kick.
Breaker's man.
He's having a good time.
He's just going for it.
If someone's good at holding mitts, and you've worked with him a little bit,
so you know the sequence is like I'm not reacting to what mitts I'm supposed to hit.
He tells me.
It's left, right, left, right, right, left.
So you're not like reacting to some small
thing it's just a pre-planned sequence and they said ben looked great and everyone's saying he
looks so great he didn't look great to me but the whole world is telling me i'm wrong i'm starting
to think i'm wrong and then he got knocked the fuck out in the first round after barely throwing
any punches it was embarrassing i didn't watch it like i saw like like i told you they were doing
that that watch party um for the fight but i was actually watching the ufc at the time like like
there was a decent ufc card and it was like um um whatever the ones that are free oh we didn't
cover it at all this week so those of you who hate ufc talk um you didn't have to sit through it but
god damn the card this saturday is massive three title fights three of my favorite
fighters it's it's a big fucking card you got rose nama unis fighting uh way lee i love both of them
and then shevchenko uh who doesn't look as fit to me as she normally does but will probably still win because she's fucking amazing
you're against jessica andraje or something who is this just run at you fearless and she looks
like a man man like she looks so tough uh if you just look at him at the weigh-ins it's like this
is a boy against a girl holy smokes but very masculine
yeah and she's got her hair cut like a guy yeah it's combed to the side and it's short on the side
yeah and um you look at it and just like this is a woman against a man how is she gonna hang
but she's the bullet she always hangs and she always looks great I can't wait to see that fight. I can't wait to see Rose fight and fuck Usman for taking an easy win against
Masvidal.
He just went for a day off.
He went for another payday and I'm fine with it because I like my Masvidal and
I'll watch him fight again.
I re man.
I would love it.
If Masvidal won,
obviously Usman is my favorite in this.
Like, my favorite to win.
I don't care for Usman personally.
Those foot stomps are so goddamn lame.
I can't even begin to.
Here's what they should have done.
They should have had Masvidal fight Colby for the title shot.
And then you would have gotten to see that.
After this, Masvidal's star will stop shining.
The BMF title he got over Nateate diaz that he refuses to put up
yeah this is bullshit um yeah although he does wear it around at the press conferences like
it's an actual fucking title or something does he wear it to the ring or that's the ring to octagon
i'm not sure about that um probably not i wouldn't imagine but he wears it at the
press conferences and stuff he puts it out in front of him on the table like he's a champion of some sort.
But if Colby had fought Masvidal, then we would have got to see that robbery.
Colby would have won, of course.
And then he would have got the title shot.
And that would have been great to see.
That's what they should have done.
Agreed.
What they did instead is lame.
Agreed.
But still a good card. It'll still be a good fight like like look masvidal is a good fighter and uzman's a great fighter and i think
they'll put on a good show i hope it's better than last time uzman like a pussy last time
hugging masvidal the whole time holding him against the fence it's like you should be able
to outclass this guy in open space if you have to win like this it's a little embarrassing like to be fair to john jones i bet there was plenty of times where he could
wrestle fucked his opponent and made a boring fight but he kind of knows the game to some
extent and he went out there and he struck with people even though it meant he was going to get
tagged a few times that's possible i i view john jones through this distorted lens of disney yeah instead of
you should be shit to color glass i'm like he lost his wrestling he doesn't have it anymore
and you're like oh no he's putting on a show and i i could be wrong that's just what i choose to
believe i just know that like i don't know how you lose wrestling like that seems like the last
skill to go to me like like that's what dc can still fucking do that's what like i just don't know how you lose wrestling like that seems like the last skill to go to me like that's
what dc can still fucking do that's what like i just don't you don't see too many guys like oh
yeah he got old he can't wrestle anymore um they all stop wrestling i almost see it as the opposite
dc became a striker and fucking john jones became a striker who's the the white guy who almost beat gsp big oh matt sarah oh man what
did beat him uh big rig johnny hendricks oh johnny henry lost his wrestling that's a pd thing true
um but yeah i just feel like a lot of people dan henderson they all go wrestling seems to
me like a lower body strength thing and god damn if john jones hasn't been putting in the work there like like just you see him squatting and dead lifting
like huge huge heavy weights i don't know i don't know maybe i'm wrong maybe he can't wrestle
anymore like somehow like maybe if he had like hurt something in his back and he can't shoot
anymore he certainly wouldn't tell us you gotta practice it that's what i think he's not practicing it but who knows who knows anyway uh my voice is just about to give out um but i thought
that was good show thank you for very much for coming yes i enjoyed you tremendously thank you
so thank you i appreciate it thank you guys for having me back on soon where can everybody find
all your stuff uh yeah uh well i I stream all the time at twitch.tv
slash goldenboyftw.
Everything goldenboyftw, typically.
And I'm on
G4. We're relaunching G4.
Cool. Check it out.
Yeah, so I'll be on there.
We have a few videos. We got esports.
I'm more focused on the esports side, but I do things
with Adam Sessler and stuff.
Yeah, it's pretty awesome.
So, yeah, man, it's been a blast.
Thanks for coming on.
Everybody check him out and all those places.
PKA 540.