Painkiller Already - PKA 544 James Burns - F150 Lighting, Conor McGregor's Watch, Concussion Stories

Episode Date: May 25, 2021

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Transcript
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Starting point is 00:00:00 Painkiller Ready, episode 544 with our guest James C. Burns. Taylor? This episode of PKA is brought to you by Lucy and Smartmouth, a couple of wonderful sponsors we'll hear about in a bit. We're going to hear a lot about them. Great, great sponsors. And we got James Burns on. Thank you very much for coming, man.
Starting point is 00:00:17 Good to be here. Yeah, so you were the voice actor in Black Ops 1, 2, 4? No, 4. No, 3. I noticed that. Did your guy die in 3?
Starting point is 00:00:29 No, no. I have no idea what happened there. 1, 2, 4, Black Ops 4, Blackout in Declassified. What happened with 3 and Coldwater? It's a mystery. I have no idea. Yeah, I don't either. I didn't play the fourth one.
Starting point is 00:00:49 Did you ever play them, or did you just show up for work and be like, oh, you can't fucking come at me like that? Did you know it was happening at a given level, or did they tell you, like, all right, you're going to tell Moose that he can't get the diamonds soon enough? Moose, get the diamonds soon. What game was that? I don't know.
Starting point is 00:01:10 Pull your mic in front of your mouth. Just do it. Just do it all the way. But yeah, yeah. Yeah, there you go. Oh, Bush actor, right? What? What?
Starting point is 00:01:21 I mean, really? No, man. You guys, can you hear me or not? Yeah, yeah. I can hear you. It just gets better when you're closer, when you're talking to the mic. Yeah. Man, I tell you what.
Starting point is 00:01:30 I had no idea what I was getting into. Uh-huh. I thought it was just a gig. I almost turned the job down. It was... Originally, I got hired to test the technology for performance capture. They hadn't done it before. September 2009, they needed some guy with weapons training, some training, and I fit the bill.
Starting point is 00:01:52 They brought me in, and they just liked me. They really didn't want a nobody in the park. I had just begun acting. I'd been acting about four or five years, so I was pretty new. acting. I'd been acting about four or five years. So I was pretty new. And I think they wanted a celeb in there because they're trying to beef things up. And then somehow, well, it's a documentary. You won them over. Yeah. Hey, so did you have actual military experience? Like real life? You said you had weapons training. No, I do not. No, but I grew up around guns. I spent a lot of time around the military. I do a lot of these parts anyways and as a
Starting point is 00:02:25 professional hockey player and coach so that that idea of teamwork camaraderie that ball busting kind of alpha thing that you that you sense out of the woods character that's that's kind of organic to where i came from you know so but you the character you play is a military guy. Woods? Oh yeah. You don't feel like that's a Stolen Valor issue? I mean, I'm offended. I spend a lot of time with the U.S. military.
Starting point is 00:03:02 I've been in Afghanistan. They've flown us all over the world. This is the I have a black friend defense of St with the U.S. military. I've been in Afghanistan. They've flown us all over the world. This is the I have a black friend defense of Stolen Valor. I used to struggle with that. I used to think that What? Why would you? Well, because
Starting point is 00:03:17 the amount of adulation I receive for this character is ridiculous. I've been in a combat zone. I've been in Afghanistan. I see what these guys go through. I see what – I've been in rooms with guys who had just been shot in Pakistan.
Starting point is 00:03:36 So the most humbling moment in my life, we walk in, hand out our little cards and shit. Here's a guy with three fucking bullets in him. And I'm like, I have nothing to say to this guy. I'm a... I play at it. This is the real thing. Is there... Are you tempted at all to use your voice and be like,
Starting point is 00:03:54 you'll get through this, soldier. Oh, fuck no. Mission failed. We'll get him next time. Get out! That's hilarious. You mentioned you did stunt stuff as well. Did you do that before getting into the voice side of it? What does that entail?
Starting point is 00:04:25 Driving, jumping around, flips? Here's the thing. Here's the thing. I don't want to present myself as a voice actor. Woods is primarily action. I mean, live action. Everything you see Woods do basically happened on a set someplace with other people. Like a TV or a movie same thing i didn't spend a lot of time
Starting point is 00:04:47 in the box uh just you know barking shit out i actually you know had a lot of great actors around me so we could interact a little bit um the stunt training came and just came in handy you know i'm a precision driver i'm very athletic i'm in shape so rolling and taking punches and fighting people I got fighting skills so being able to do all that stuff is stunt training, I'm not jumping off of fucking buildings I mean I can take a hit you can throw me on a pad
Starting point is 00:05:15 I can take care of myself in a tussle so that's what I mean by that so that was very that was very, it was an element of the character that was needed to be able to do that was had the physical confidence to move well okay you know like i have i've never asked an actual stunt guy about it but like i've always i know we've talked about this before the three of us were like when someone like tom cruise is like i don't i do all my own
Starting point is 00:05:40 stunts nobody else can do my stunts is there there a little bit of like, where it's like, come on, man. Like it's an industry here. Like Vince Vaughn doesn't, you know, jump off buildings, not just because he doesn't think he can do it, but also because like, you know, there's a bunch of people here whose job it is to do that. Well, let me predicate this. I am not a stuntman by trade. I have stunt capabilities. So let's predicate that. I don't make my living as a stuntman. That's why I almost didn't take the job to begin with. I didn't want to be a stuntman. These guys like pro athletes, man, they get hurt a lot, which is why I know the mystique
Starting point is 00:06:18 around Cruz and his stunt things, but he's very smart. stunt things but he is very much he's very smart he also knows that he cannot take an injury because if he goes down the whole movie goes down and that's millions of dollars a day so yes he does certain amount of stunts but there is a lot of uh substitution because he can't he can't afford to lose him he gotta he's good and he's i, I mean, I don't really know him, but I know people who are, and he's just, he's remarkable. You talk about Wayne Gretzky. You just, you put him over there, he's different. You know, he's just a super high achieving guy.
Starting point is 00:07:00 And, you know, he's smart enough to know how to take care of himself on set. He broke his leg in Mission Impossible though, right? Yes, he's smart enough to know how to take care of himself on set. He broke his leg in Mission Impossible, though, right? Yes, he did. And that cost him tens of millions of dollars because he is the driving force, you know? I feel like you called him selfish for putting stuntmen out of work. Maybe. How dare you say that about Mr. Cruise? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:07:23 Mr. Cruise is not to be questioned This is the Tom Cruise Nor is his church This is the Tom Cruise fanboy podcast That's all we discuss here is Tom Cruise And how wonderful he is We're going to talk about Edge of Tomorrow I like that movie
Starting point is 00:07:40 I like that movie a lot It might be his best It's really good It's up there. It was action movies. It's so fucking good. You mentioned that you were a professional hockey player and also a coach. I'm a big hockey fan.
Starting point is 00:07:54 Never played professionally, but how did that go? How did you get into that? Did you just kind of, you grew up into it and then you parlayed into the acting? God, I wish. No, what happened was I grew up in Massachusetts, very hockey-centric place. I played a little bit of college hockey. Didn't go well, so I turned pro my junior or senior year. And then I was good, but I wasn't that.
Starting point is 00:08:18 Hold on. College hockey didn't go well, so you went pro? Yeah. Okay. Okay, okay. Well, in the sense that I wasn't getting along with the coach. Oh. Yeah, I wasn't terribly coachable, I'll be honest with you. Which league did you jump?
Starting point is 00:08:39 Oh, I'm sorry, go ahead. So the American Hockey League, and then i played for the whalers in the a and it's a couple of uh a couple stints like in uh with judica new york you know in the east coast hockey league so about 22 23 i pretty much knew that i'm not going to the nhl i'm gonna stick around i got an offer to go to europe and i went to bel. I played in Belgium for a year and then a time in Italy, which is France. And then I came back and I coached for 20 years before I became a hockey coach, before I became an actor. I had a hockey school, had a hockey school in Quebec. I had a residential training center.
Starting point is 00:09:20 I ran a rink in New York City for a long time. So that was my hockey. Did you ever get a call up or think that you were close to a call up in the AHL? You know, I was late. I was 21. I wasn't drafted. And I would have to be so much better than a guy with a contract. I would have to be like three goals a game because they're already paying him no matter what. So bringing it,
Starting point is 00:09:54 signing a guy like me on an ATO or, you know, PTO, like it's extra money. They don't want to pay. And quite frankly, I'm just one of 22 guys that could play that night and had the same outcome i would have to be like uh just literally scoring four goals a game if they were to bring me
Starting point is 00:10:13 up because they had so many guys in line and depending on the relationships inside the organization where the scout where his alliance is this the politics within hockey and sports in general is is really one of the most uninvestigated subjects there is you know if a scout sees you and you're his guy he will fight for you to move through the ring even if you have a that you're not doing well because it's their reputation so yeah i think i think money ball uh step it's kind of rest that a little bit you know what were you a forward, I guess? Because you're talking about goal scoring, right? Defenseman.
Starting point is 00:10:48 Defenseman. Well, you would have been in the NHL if you were getting hat tricks as defenseman. Yeah, but that's my point. I had to be that good. I was not that good. You know, I wasn't that good. So I was like everybody else,
Starting point is 00:11:00 and they didn't really need me there. I could fill in and they could, oh, well, you know, you're dressing tonight or you're not dressing tonight. Oh, we're going to send you down to Utica. We're going to send you down to Virginia, which is like the, you know, you saw the movie Slapshot? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:11:13 Well, I wish it was as good as Slapshot. It was just, at least they had training rooms. They had tape. They had sticks. You know, it was. It was. They hadn't had sticks. Do you have foil? It was. The idea was that it was a really low-level type of playing pro hockey,
Starting point is 00:11:35 but I had a better locker room in college. Did you have any experience when you were in the AHL where someone from the team who's an affiliate in the NHL, they sent him down for a conditioning stint or where a real deal NHLer comes down. And if you did, was it like, oh, there's a reason this guy is in the NHL and not here. Did you get to experience that at all? Can you pull your mic closer again?
Starting point is 00:11:59 Sorry. Again, the thing is, at that level, everybody, you're kind of all the same as if you get hot, if you get momentum. It's all about momentum. If you're playing a regular shift, you get momentum, you get in the game, you get in the flow, and minimize mistakes, you're going to have opportunities. When you're like me, you're coming off the bench in the third period, you've got to do something special. You're tight. You've been sitting there for 40 minutes, and now you get a shot to go.
Starting point is 00:12:35 Again, it's not as simple as that. Yeah, I've been around some great players. I've been on the ice. I spent summer skating with Brian Trottier and Ron Gay and, you know, and Pat LaFontaine. I mean, Jesus Christ. Yeah. There are certain guys that how is, how does he do that? You know, you, and no matter how hard you work, you just can't compete. So yeah, when you get into the superstar level, it's, they play a different game because they,
Starting point is 00:13:03 they see the game, it's slower. They just, the game is slower for them. There's just, um, they see the game. It's slower. They just, the game is slower for them. There's just more time and more relaxed. Yeah, for sure. I'm sure it's that way with every sport.
Starting point is 00:13:13 Like you're Kyle's our baseball guy, but you know, there's no way. Are they throwing just as fast in the minor leagues and baseball as in the majors? And is that about accuracy at that point? Not this? No,
Starting point is 00:13:24 there's, if somebody's really a standout if they can if they can hit triple digits consistently they're they're getting moved up and we're going to work on that control there aren't a lot of guys in the minors who are throwing like 101 miles an hour consistently and they're like he's just a little too wild nothing we can do to him that's kind of a rarity yeah i think the major leagues in every sport the the cream rises pretty quickly. There's that margin, that gray area.
Starting point is 00:13:49 Hockey is the last, the taxi squad, the last four or five guys. They move up and down. But the guys who are there belong there. And you can tell right away. There's no question. Everybody who's on the margin, you got to find a way to create your space or just have longevity until you catch on before you get too old yeah that's it just interesting like still the gap between the minors and the majors of any sport because i remember i don't remember what
Starting point is 00:14:15 his name is but there's some career ahl guy that's like above point per game like crushes it in the ahl he's like a real superstar in the ahl and you would think looking at those numbers like that guy's at least like a.6 point per game guy in the NHL. Every time they bring him up, I don't know if it's nerves or fear, it's like he's just a ghost, a shadow. And I've looked at forums of people talking about it and they're like, yeah,
Starting point is 00:14:36 look at the speed he can play in the AHL and then look at him try and pull that in the NHL. Immediately, a defenseman is on his ass and he's knocked down and the puck is gone. It's interesting. Sometimes what works at the lower level just doesn't work at the higher level. In basketball,
Starting point is 00:14:52 there are guys who are great passers. They're point guard. They always have an eye in the back of their head, etc. And then they go for passes that work in high school or college at the Pro League. Everybody's arms are longer. What looked like threading the needle passes to him were actually closed holes and he turns it over a lot and when
Starting point is 00:15:11 you see people like like just some no-name bruiser from the nhl will be like i'm gonna go play a pickup game with like the best beer leaguers in boston or whatever and then it's like this guy looks like a fool next to regular nhlers and then he goes out there and it's like the fucking harlem globetrotters music is going and he's dipsy doodling he's he's hitting it over his stick on both sides making people look like assholes and it's like wait but you're the guy you have four goals in your career and he's like yeah and i was the best kid on every team i ever played on isn't that crazy like and that's how it has to be for every single person in the nhl or MLB or NFL.
Starting point is 00:15:46 Like every single one of those guys. And Arian talked about this. Arian Foster of the Texans was like, you're in a room with people who have never experienced until this very moment being the second best in the team. Everyone shows up being the guy on whatever football, basketball, baseball team it is. It's just crazy.
Starting point is 00:16:02 The level of skill you need. Would you play with those really good players i played with some nhl guys it's like it's they pass so fucking hard i can't catch it so i just keep my stick still and they effectively pass to my tape but imagine if i was playing hitting you in the glove imagine if i was playing catch and i didn't catch it and it's like i don't know what your problem is I held my glove still you know like I did my part your job is to hit the webbing of the glove that's what they do all the time and it yeah they make me look good when I'm not those technique things
Starting point is 00:16:39 you that's something you it's an understanding you acquire. And when you find it, oh, is it that fucking easy? And that, like stick handling and catching it, like those hard passes, it's absorption. But you got to understand that it's a, you can't think about it. You got to let go and let the puck do the work. You know, and you see, you can tell very quickly somebody who's played at a high level of any sport, because there's a certain ease, and that ease is just familiarity it means it's something you just you're comfortable doing it and you can absorb it and it's it's part of it you know and the thing is to maintain that ease and that uh that that softness actually as you rise up through levels of pressure because as
Starting point is 00:17:23 you play the pressure gets heavier it's more speed more pressure and it's the guys who don't feel the pressure who really excel are the guys who just are they're so confident and so at ease that i um i played a little bit with ray bork we did some um pro amp stuff some um charity stuff and uh i remember i love playing with ray bork because he i was playing forward. This was maybe five, six years ago. I remember just watching Ray. I knew what he was going to do. He would just come around the
Starting point is 00:17:52 net with the puck. I just split the deep and he would just lay it out like a rifle shot. Because it all clicks back in, just absorb it. It's something where you just see a guy like that like he's just it's just so soft it doesn't he doesn't panic he doesn't because the minute you doubt something
Starting point is 00:18:12 the minute you have a thought you're dead if you think about it you're dead because it's so fast it's reactive it's so fast it's reactive i'm not like that for us mortals I just hold my stick still I hope he doesn't pass to me because I know he can do this on it oh it's coming don't move I remember when I would play there was a guy I played with
Starting point is 00:18:37 and this was just for a nothing no big deal high school team not one of my better teams but the coach would get on to this guy and be like, Dan, you have to let someone else get a chance. Every time you're dangling in, you can't take the shot every time. And so it would be a close game sometimes, like 2-2 and it'd be in the third,
Starting point is 00:18:58 and he'd clearly stop himself from scoring and then wait for someone else to catch up and try and keep it in i'd be like just dan just score just scored it just all right i hated that he's the guy that would show up drunk and hide every single practice and you couldn't tell him not to because he was so good it's like why are we down by one when the score is whatever you want it to be literally sometimes he'd be like hey taylor i'm gonna get a first period hat trick watch that's how he talked he'd be like i Hey Taylor, I'm going to get a first period hat trick. Watch it. That's how he talked.
Starting point is 00:19:26 He'd be like, I'm going to get first, not because that's the way he talks. Just because when he was like wasted, he just started talking like, I'm going to get a first period hat trick. Watch this. And sometimes he would get the puck and skate back towards me.
Starting point is 00:19:35 Cause I played going like Taylor, watch this. And then he'd dangle by everyone's score easily. And then instead of going to like high five, all the people he played with, because we played on a lot of teams together, he'd be like,
Starting point is 00:19:48 just get all the way back and celebrate with just me. It was fun. It was fun to win the league. Where are you guys from? St. Louis. Atlanta. Oh, you're a Blues fan. Of course.
Starting point is 00:19:57 Yes, yes. Well, the Blues are doing badly. That's why my background right now is when we got knocked out in the first round by Mike Yo. Because we are getting butt-fucked by the Colorado Avalanche right now. when we got knocked out in the first round by mike yo because we are getting butt fucked by the colorado avalanche right now it's been brutal we got guys on covid we got guys injured it's devastating i'm gonna owe kyle we're gonna get swept and i'm gonna owe kyle 20 more dollars uh because we have five kyle's an avalanche that's his team for this season i'm always the blues guy woody has the caroline hurricanes, who are tremendous. This very good, tremendous. That'd be a really cool one.
Starting point is 00:20:26 I hope the Hurricanes. Great is it going to be if I pick the fucking Stanley Cup winner preseason. Yeah. You just decided on the Colorado Avalanche because he was like, I'm going to move. I'm moving to Colorado. What's their team name? Avalanche.
Starting point is 00:20:38 Okay, I'm an Avalanche fan. That's my team. You just happened to jump. And you've always been one to say, like, I don't follow teams when they suck. Fuck that. And you just happened upon jumping into, like, what is going to be a golden era of the Colorado Avalanche. They're going to be one of the best teams in the league for years. I might learn what one of their players is called.
Starting point is 00:20:56 Nathan McKinnon. He's got seven points in two games against the Blues. He's just ruining it. My favorite player. Yes, Nathan McKinnon. Yes. Yes. Yes, Nathan McKinnon. Yes. Yes. Yes, Nathan McKinnon.
Starting point is 00:21:06 Can you guys link in a video? Because since you're hockey fans, I want to show you something. I think you're going to enjoy it. Is this an NHL video? If it's NHL, they don't let you show it. I'm not going to say. I'm going to surprise you. There's a way you can link a video.
Starting point is 00:21:18 You can't surprise me with a copyrighted video. Yeah, because they'll take us down if we try and show any NHL video. I did a Wheaties commercial as a hockey player. Uh-huh. copyrighted video. Yeah, because they'll take us down if we try and show any NHL video. I did a Wheaties commercial as a hockey player. It's probably on YouTube. You've got to see the mullet. We can look at it privately and we could probably even take a
Starting point is 00:21:37 screenshot of it and show people. What is it called? Wheaties commercial? It's called a Wheaties ice hockey commercial. Circa 1986. It's probably on one of my YouTube channels. It's probably on my James C. Burns channel. 1985? 85, yeah, sure.
Starting point is 00:21:55 85, yeah, still playing, yeah. Man, Wheaties just don't look good. Okay. Yeah, I'm watching it right now. No, Wheaties don't look good. No, Wheaties, there's not enough. Okay. Yeah, I'm watching it right now. No, Wheaties don't look good. No, Wheaties... Is that you with the mullet? Are you number seven?
Starting point is 00:22:13 I'm the guy in the blue, man. Yeah. You guys all found it, but I didn't. I just searched Wheaties commercial 1985. Here it is. They look terrible. The cereal. Oh. Here it is. They look terrible. The cereal. Oh, there it is.
Starting point is 00:22:27 Yeah, that's it. That's the one. I love the wink. Oh, yeah. The open. What the big boys eat. What the big boys eat. That happened by accident.
Starting point is 00:22:41 I was walking into a practice in a rink in New Jersey. Who likes Wheaties? I can pretend to. I was a pro-amskate, and I was summer hockey. I was going back to Europe. And I walk into a four-rink facility, and I walk in. It's my first day there, and the girl sends me to the wrong locker. There's a girl in front.
Starting point is 00:23:05 Are you here for the auditions? I go, yeah, sure. She's like, you're in locker room four. And I just had no idea. And I walk in. There's not a hockey player in the room. They're all like guys with figure skates and speeds. You know, like, F hockey.
Starting point is 00:23:20 And I was like, well, I hit the rink. And I'm a player, right? And then long story short, guy walks in. He goes, you here for the audition? I go, no, I'm here because I'm skating with Luz guys today. He goes, wait a second. Can you, do you mind coming and eating some cereal? I go, what's going on?
Starting point is 00:23:35 I said, we're doing a weekly commercial. I sat down and that's what it was. Five minutes later, that's all it was. Did they give you that shirt to wear? And they're like, oh yeah, look up and gesture to us with the spoon and go it's what big boys eat they gave me the shirt i have my face in a box jesus what if opportunity just handed to you yeah i'm just walking some people like i want to be on a wheaties box no you just walked into the room and they start in a wheaties commercial commercial? Yeah, you Mr. Magoo'd your way into a commercial.
Starting point is 00:24:05 We were auditioning for a Wheaties commercial. I just happened to walk into the locker room by accident. And then I got on, and I didn't know any better. I got on the wrong, there's four rinks. There's a lot of activity. So I went to the wrong rink. They picked you over everyone trying to get this job. Yeah, because I was a hockey player.
Starting point is 00:24:20 Look at that guy's hair. Love it. Well, it's all about the hair, man. It's all about the mullet. Always about the mullet. That is some strong hockey hair. It's a strong mull it. It's all about the hair, man. It's all about the mullet. Always about the mullet. That is some strong hockey hair. It's a strong mullet. It's a damn shame.
Starting point is 00:24:28 Damn shame what happened to him. I would think something like a mullet would be dangerous in hockey. It's a sport where you've got fights where people are always grabbing and pulling on each other. It seems like somebody would get a big fistful of that hair. Traditionally, you're not supposed to pull hair, but Tom Wilson changed the game just a couple weeks ago. Do you think dreadlocks in the NFL are safe? No, I don't. I wouldn't have those either. Yeah, those seem like a terrible idea.
Starting point is 00:24:53 I don't know what is going through their heads. You look at an NFL guy, and his hair is down to his ass, and it's like, it's going to get pinched or something. I'm going to grab that. It's going to be like D from It's Always Sunny, where just a patch of skull. Just out. You don't want that.
Starting point is 00:25:09 I would be like, well, it wouldn't have to be that short. Just fit in the fucking helmet. I'd shave it short, short. I'd have nothing to worry about. I'd go Marc Messier style. Just freaking cut it off. And you'd have no hair issues to deal with. If I was a professional athlete.
Starting point is 00:25:22 Didn't Marc Messier do that as an aggressive answer to going bald? Like before he went fully bald he was like, I'm gonna win this one. No no no. Yeah he could see he was losing the Norwood battle and he shaved it off. Someone asked me the other day, LeBron or Michael and I was like Michael every single time. Like he won more championships and he was a man about losing his hair. He didn't glue some shit on his head.
Starting point is 00:25:48 LeBron's funnier. LeBron's funnier. Is he funnier? I just, the sweatband thing. Have you seen this when his, Oh, I've seen his hair fall off his head during,
Starting point is 00:25:59 during a game. He had a sweatband, push his fake hair up and it all crumpled. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Catch me up here. What? Let me see if I can lebron james so lebron james is bald like legit and but he glues this
Starting point is 00:26:12 fake hair onto the top of his head like astro turf but when you know you're playing basketball at a professional level he's playing 30 fucking minutes or whatever he's sweaty as hell and he's got that sweatband on his forehead well it gets pushed up and it like pushes the astro turf up so it's all like popped up and either one of his teammates is like yo your hair your hair's falling out and he's just like i have never seen that before somebody that is tech that is hair that is brand management right there that is brand management I love it it looks like the front line where it was it looks like his hair is
Starting point is 00:26:51 washing up on the beach and it's receding you know when you pull a sticker off and there's a little residue left that's what he's got going on there oh my god that's outstanding yeah he should have gone more graceful.
Starting point is 00:27:06 Does he look good now? No. I mean, he looks good when it's all faked on there. It's inconsistent, yeah. It's inconsistent. Like, he always looks different. You never know which LeBron you're going to get. Is it sticker got pulled off too quickly, LeBron?
Starting point is 00:27:20 Or is it like Arsenio Hall, LeBron? You don't know. Arsenio. I wouldn't want to. I mean. Is he going to have that thing Will Smith had in the 90s where it's like raised up three inches like a big thing? Like you don't know what you're getting.
Starting point is 00:27:32 Shave that shit off. Shave that shit off. You're worth like $100 million. Give me a million dollars. What's he worth? A quarter billion? Probably a quarter billion if not more. With endorsements and everything?
Starting point is 00:27:43 How many shoes is he selling? He's a billion dollar baby. Yeah. Probably. Probably., if not more. With endorsements and everything? He's a billion dollar baby. Probably. I don't know. I don't watch basketball. About half a billion, it says, but who knows? That sounds about right. With endorsements especially.
Starting point is 00:27:59 Ridiculous money. You could get that fixed. I bet hair replacement surgery is more difficult for black people. I bet it's a different kind of thing going on. Like, for real. You know, they've got different hair. Probably. Yeah, it might be different.
Starting point is 00:28:10 Because I've seen white people get it, and it's like, holy shit. Like, Jake Paul got hair replacement surgery, and you can't tell. Yeah. Really? Yeah. Like, that's not his fucking hair. He lost his hair, like, four years ago. They hooked him up.
Starting point is 00:28:22 Not Jake. Logan. Logan. Logan got the fake hair. Logan Paul. And a bunch of people have. I Jake, Logan. Logan got the fake hair. Logan Paul. And a bunch of people have. I can't think of them off the top of my head. Derek's done videos on them.
Starting point is 00:28:30 You know, more plates, more dates. But this is clearly a case of like, if money could buy this, it would be bought. And it hasn't been bought. Yeah, he needs requisition scientists to start devoting time to this. Because whatever he's doing doing it's not working yeah he needs something out of a beaker not something that came off of a fucking golf course
Starting point is 00:28:50 i i think you're missing the point here this is brand management this is giving conversation this is making lebron james even more well known there's no bad publicity it's all bad publicity everyone It's all bad publicity. This is one more reason to talk about LeBron James, and he wins. There is no bad publicity. Quote by Jared Fogle. No, not everybody knows about
Starting point is 00:29:17 my sandwiches and that. Well, they know about something else also. They know about something I liked even more than sandwiches. We do know Jared Fogle, though. We do know the name something I liked even more than sandwiches. Children. But we do know Jared Fogle, though. We do know the name. I already knew him, though. Yeah, but I knew him from the sandwiches. Well, he probably is bigger now. I bet he's plumped up on prison food.
Starting point is 00:29:35 What if he comes out and gets me spat? And Subway's like, alright, we're gonna have to double down. You know, it's a big business. Subway can not only help you lose weight, it'll heal you from being a pedophile. And he's just like eating a sandwich look i can i can be in the same room as kids as long as there are officers in between us you know how many years did he get do you guys know how many years he gets out in 2028 you're kidding me because because like i think like he had child porn and like maybe there was some evidence that he'd done something with a young girl.
Starting point is 00:30:06 There was something. Yeah, we looked into it once. Because we have this thing, or I have this thing, I'll say, where I feel like they call... A guy will be 19 and have a 17-year-old girlfriend or something, and they'll be like, pedophile. And it's like, well, wait a minute. I don't think that's a pedophile, boys. But if there's a 40-year-old man going after an 8-year-old girl, all right,'t think that's a pedophile boys like but but like if there's like a 40 year old man going after like an eight year old girl all right fucking pedophile
Starting point is 00:30:28 pedophile like i just like to draw some distinctions in there every now and then but i'm pretty sure jared fogel was a fucking pedophile jared fogel looks pretty good right now does he the other you got like some recent prison pics of him or something this is 2018 so you know it's not now oh, the stress of the last three years. Was he in prison at this point, or was he still not? Yes. Oh, he was in prison for a long time at this point, I think. Why is he wearing a suit?
Starting point is 00:30:54 Is this like some sort of review hearing or something? Let me read into it. I think, guys, the picture you'd want is to be in the executive office at Subway Sandwiches when they got the news. Oh, right. What was going on today? Hey, by the way, board of directors, there's a situation we've got to talk to you about today. It's the chicken teriyaki for the summer. We're way ahead of you.
Starting point is 00:31:23 Trust me. It's going to be a big seller. We're bringing back the $5 footlongs. Oh, and Jared, it turns out Jared's a pedophile. Oh, that's bad. They're probably like, please just have murdered someone. Please. Please just have killed someone in cold blood.
Starting point is 00:31:38 And I know, I guarantee, because there's always one guy. There was one guy in the head marketing area of Subway who, as they were hiring him initially, he's like, this guy just gives me the creeps, man. I don't like it. I don't like this. All right, I'm outvoted. I'm outvoted. And you just know that guy's walking around.
Starting point is 00:31:52 He was always asking for kids in the commercials. They're Subway sandwiches. We don't market to children. We market to adults a lot, but he's surrounded by... I've got backgrounds of him. He was always pushing the Happy Meal, all right? He always wanted us to have a Happy Meal competitor. He brought in kids
Starting point is 00:32:06 to test for it. It was weird. What was he doing with all those kids? Just being a fucking pedophile. He was just being a pedophile. Look at him with all the kids. Look at him with all the kids. And he's saying, you're not going to believe what comes after the sandwich.
Starting point is 00:32:21 Is it just me? Look at those little kids. Don't they look like, are they want-eared? Unfortunately, the word footlong has two, has the connotations all blown up now.
Starting point is 00:32:32 It's ruined. He's a six inch, he's a six inch cold cut man for sure. Look at that little girl on the bottom right. She's looking at him like, you're going to talk to me
Starting point is 00:32:38 about a beef and swift sandwich after what you just tried in the coat closet? Really? No. You're going to try and sell me on a kid's coat closet really you better get me a lot of those macadamia nut cookies buddy because i'm talking that guy the bearded guy in the back who looks like a bodyguard fucking tremendous failure huge failure he's protecting jared not
Starting point is 00:32:58 the kids yeah he was he was in a looter that's Jared's guard. He's the groomer, is he? I got to say, those kids are looking at Jared a bit longingly. No, he's got a bag of cookies on. No, he doesn't. Entrapment, huh? Is that your argument, Kyle? I don't know. That one girl, bottom right, she's giving him the eyes.
Starting point is 00:33:17 No, no, no. That's her mom, and she's not having. Look at that girl. One right on the bottom left hand there, like the little girl that that's someone's mommy look at her face she is she she knows she freaking she knows she's got a six cents wait a minute this guy's wrong this is i'm gonna grab my daughter here yeah yeah there should be a bunch of fathers in there pulling kids out of the picture where are the fathers was jared about little boys and little girls little girls yes i think i'm almost positive it was little girls yeah could have been a mix i'm not sure but he regardless
Starting point is 00:33:58 is a pedophile so in prison how's that translate if his little boy she tried to be dead but little girls oh it doesn't matter no so like usually uh so i've been to prison um so we have a subject matter expert yeah um so i spent a couple months at a federal prison but um but but uh and i get any experience about pedophiles there myself but i talked to plenty of prisoners who had their own pedophile experiences usually those guys are in their own unit or even their own prison. So like the idea that like a pedophile just gets thrown to the wolves is usually not true. Like more likely the circumstance would be like he's done pedophilia before, but now he's arrested for like whatever, grand theft auto.
Starting point is 00:34:40 And then other prisoners find out that in the past he was a pedophile and then they do something awful to him but it wouldn't matter, girls, boys whatever they put all the pedophiles in one prison called a pedulter a pedulter something
Starting point is 00:34:58 it's called a rapuary a rapuary I believe it's called the Catholic Church hot take that one I believe it's called the Catholic Church Hot take That one That's brand new material They usually put those guys in their own unit In their own unit or their own prison
Starting point is 00:35:16 Because otherwise they'll get eaten alive They'll get murdered, they'll get beaten They'll get castrated They should take that unit and combine it With the scared straight stuff And really teach those kids a lesson oh you just get some mystery they have to change the name of the program get some smart mouth 12 year olds in there except instead of scaring them straight they're all like super kind to them and try to get them back to their cell yeah they're they're all like, no big deal.
Starting point is 00:35:46 That's no big deal. Dude, you'll be fine. You know, I got a cool stereo system back in my cell. You want to see it? Isn't that how the pedophile tried to lure you? That's literally my pedophile experience. Yeah, when Woody was a kid, there was a pedophile who was like, I got a cool stereo system back at home. And like 12-year-old Woody is like, for reals?
Starting point is 00:36:03 I really thought twice about it. You got 8 track you almost got raped you got some bg's back home let's go that's how I learned to play pool literally I learned to play pool from a pedophile who was trying to seduce me that was the same guy
Starting point is 00:36:19 back and forth Woody did he ever stand behind you and help you shoot? Yes! How else do you teach someone to play pool? It's all at the rear end, Woody. That's where you get your power from. Right here.
Starting point is 00:36:36 Right on your glutes. Feel how my hips are moving. Feel how my hips are moving. Feel how our hips are in sync, Woody. I hope he chalked his cue before he put my ball in your pocket oh my oh no he went there with it
Starting point is 00:37:02 yeah I don't think I ever had any pedophile experiences as a kid. I was warned of pedophiles, of course. I think when I was like – I was warned like very early because, you know, I – That's when you should. That's when they want you. It's smart, right? Because I spent most of my early childhood – when I'm like five, I spent weekends with my grandmother, and she would always warn me like don't get away. Like a pedophile will
Starting point is 00:37:25 get you and they'll torture you to death and i was just like ah ah like they'll they'll just they'll cut you to ribbons and i was just so scared all the fucking time like in fucking stores and if i had quarters i would have had no use for that pedophile but even like a dollar 25 wasn't because he oh you don't know this. It was an arcade. It was a video game arcade back before everyone had video games at their house. So you'd go to the arcade, and in the back of it, they had pool tables and pinball and shit like that. And this guy was an adult with what seemed like an endless amount of money. I mean, sometimes as much as $2.
Starting point is 00:38:04 Is that a roll in your quarters, mister? Yeah, a roll in your quarters. He mister? Yeah, a roll of quarters. I saw this guy. There was a game that you could put quarters in to extend your game. That wasn't always a thing. It was kind of a new concept. This guy would take a fucking roll of quarters and put it on the glass, implying like I'm not going anywhere.
Starting point is 00:38:22 If you're hoping you're next, go to dinner and come back because I have an entire roll of quarters, which was an unfathomable amount of money to me. And I'm like, how does he do this? And then one day he came still dressed as a postal carrier, and that was his bottomless supply of money. What it takes to be rich to a young kid is not a lot. Yeah, like $45K a year will do it.
Starting point is 00:38:45 We are talking about $25, right? That's what a roll of quarters is. Is it $20 or $25? I'm not even sure. In my head it's $25. Not a lot. Not a lot of money. It'd be a hundred quarters, right? Isn't that what they do? I don't know. I hadn't rolled change since I was a kid. I don't know. Yeah, I haven't done that either.
Starting point is 00:39:01 It's $10. $10? There's $40 of them yeah shit i mean yeah did you ever do that taylor like like i don't know at my house my dad back then like nobody used debit cards debit card um but everybody used cash so every night my dad would come home and he'd take his change and he'd throw it in a coffee can like whatever was in his pocket and then at the end of the year, there'd be like literally four coffee cans worth of change. And, uh, and me and my sister would sit there and roll all this change up and cash it in. And it would be like, like, like that was our money. Like that was the money
Starting point is 00:39:39 that my sister and I would get to spend on our own Christmas presents on top of like whatever Santa Claus and mom and dad and the relatives brought us. It was like, here you go, kids, you roll it up, you get to keep it. And it would be like a significant amount of money. It takes forever to do it. That's why my parents, that's why they were like, just take this money, kids. Like this will be a great Christmas present. You'll learn a little bit of, your fingers will smell like copper for a week.
Starting point is 00:40:03 And you're going to get like $600 to $800. Whoa. And you would like, I remember like, a little bit of your fingers will smell like copper for a week and it would be like six to eight hundred dollars whoa and you would like I remember like four coffee cans full of change when you said it was a significant amount of money I'm like probably at least twelve like I don't know like four or five coffee cans full of change
Starting point is 00:40:20 like full like no concept of what that is I don't keep my own eight hundred dollars at this point I do that but I just give it to Jackie like it goes in her of what that is i don't keep my own eight hundred dollars at this point i do that but i just give it to jackie like it goes in her purse anything that's not yeah i care i like a really thin wallet so there's only 20s in it same and like the little thing like you have if i spend anything and i end up with like a 10 and a couple ones it's like jackie take this this is yours and then um then the coin star was invented you guys are familiar with the coin star machine sure yeah we're like they take like 15 of your shit they do but then you don't
Starting point is 00:40:50 smell like pennies for a week that's true it is it is better i remember being able to use that two minutes as opposed to two weeks so yeah as an adult it's really is a better option because it's like you know what i i don't have time to roll this my time is worth more than the change rolling time but you're it was funny i think kyle or or woody one of you said you have no idea how easy it is to convince a kid like you're rich i remember in kindergarten having like an i've said it before like an earnest argument like conversation a conversation with like other kindergartners like you do you think your family's worth $100? And the kid's like, no, I think we do okay, but $100? I don't think so. And people are asking, and I'm like, I don't know, but $100.
Starting point is 00:41:32 In our head, it's like this is – like we're just learning to count. We haven't even gotten there yet. You understood money better at five years old than you did. This may be a unique thing to you. My dad always had cash. My dad always had cash, so I was kind of aware. I didn't have access to cash in kindergarten. I was five.
Starting point is 00:41:49 They didn't give me anything. Well, I would see the cash, though. I wasn't paying attention, I guess. $100 bills were a big deal when I was a kid. If someone had one, you might get a chance to hold it and look at it. It was an oddity. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:42:03 It seems really gauche now now but there's this picture of me as an infant like in a pile of hundred dollar bills um and it's yeah it wasn't gauche then though i don't know rappers oh this is will kyle he had a diamond grill no he worked you know he worked a lot with cash and he's always been a poker player so there was always a lot of cash on hand to for poker and stuff. And I don't know, there's a picture of me as like this little baby. I may have it somewhere. I'll see if I can find it.
Starting point is 00:42:31 Laying on a pile of dirty poker money. Yeah, laying on a pile of dirty poker money. That's what strengthened my immune system. You smell like cigars. Mm-hmm. Yeah, that's... Nice. You were a pretty cool kid then.
Starting point is 00:42:44 I was. Real, real badass. I never got any cool photos of me taken with money all the pictures i have of like there is such a thing i have like goofy ones like my grandparents my mom would like put me and my brother or brothers in like a cowboy hat and like make us do that but even then my youngest brother's too young i would have said no at the time they tried tried that again. But yeah, there was... Do you ever go back and look at those? I need to go in my basement and look through some pictures and see if I can find some embarrassing family photos.
Starting point is 00:43:12 That would be fun to poke through and see if I can find those. You found it? Do you guys remember your first credit card? Yeah, I mean, I remember I got it early 20s. And I don't remember yeah i think i was instructed to get one in college because they give them out to anybody if you're a college student and you can start that table set up by the alumni hall yeah yeah they all know if you're a college kid your parents probably will pay your bill for you so they just hand them out like candy mine was uh for 90 i think 95 limit on a credit card
Starting point is 00:43:47 kyle and a pile of money it can you can you do your fingers kyle it's just like baby me and a pile of money jesus i thought it was you're showing a crypto or something something like crypto coin me but i think it's only like four thousand dollars now that i look at it more of course i guess that was four4,000 of 86 money. Yeah, he should have put it in Bitcoin. Oh, God. Man, he'd be bloated. He'd have like $100.
Starting point is 00:44:15 Yeah, he should have put it in Apple. Over $100. Over. Yeah, he would put it in Dogecoin. What's been going on with Elon Musk and Dogecoin? Did he say something about it on SNL? I saw that people were discussing it, but I don't watch SNL. It was super high, and then I know a bunch of people were talking like,
Starting point is 00:44:29 he's going to go on SNL, and it's going to go to the moon. And then he said something about it, I don't know what, and it caused it to go down drastically. I'm heavy into Doge, heavy. I do crypto. And here's my theory on this. Because you've got to think about Elon Musk over a long narrative arc. So one of the smartest people ever to walk the planet, right?
Starting point is 00:44:51 So and he got me because I felt for this impending explosion theory. But I forgot about the whole mantra of investment. You know, you invest on the rumor, you sell on the fact, right? On the news. And the rumor, you know, going up, is flying up. I was in it.
Starting point is 00:45:12 I was in early, and then I saw a bounce from 60 to 65 to 70. So it's going. So I got caught. I went heavy right before the SNL. So when you say you're heavy into crypto, you're heavy at 65 into crypto? Into Doge, you're saying.
Starting point is 00:45:29 Into Doge? Doge. Okay, okay, okay, okay. 65 cents. Oh, okay. Okay, all right, carry on, please. You're thinking of Bitcoin, which is a certain type of crypto currency. Yeah, yeah, and it hit 65 grand that it tricked me.
Starting point is 00:45:42 Here's what I figured out. I did it on purpose. He had some type of buyer. He probably had a cell set up so that when it maxed out on $72,000, he probably hit a sell button and then it all crashed and went down to $21,000 yesterday. And you know he bought in back at $21,000 with the profits he made. That's how these guys think. Wait, wait, wait.
Starting point is 00:46:03 This is an evidence-free theory that Elon Musk ran up the price to $72,000, sold it all, and then bought it all back at $21,000 based on him being a genius walking the earth. Wouldn't that a genius do that though? Isn't that something?
Starting point is 00:46:19 If he had a crystal ball. He owned enough of it. I don't know enough about crypto or even investing, but I was reading about it and it was like i mean only because they can print a dogecoin they know who's buying it or the person who owns it buys it and someone was like hey someone bought 1.5 billion dollars worth of doge this morning who do you think it was yeah it's like i don't know if that's true it's probably was? It's like, I don't know. If that's true, it's probably Elon Musk. I don't think- Anyone I know who does well with a lot of zeros, seven and eight zeros, have the same attitude. I will never buy anything that I do not know who
Starting point is 00:46:57 I'm going to sell it to. That is a theory across the board. Investors don't, like most of us, I'm a gambler. I don't know anything. But most guys who do invest for real, they know exactly what's going to happen. And there's no risk because they have either controls. And most people I know who have Uku Cash have inside information. They can lay their bed pretty easily. That's what's going to happen with crypto. Someone who does not follow that same mantra
Starting point is 00:47:28 of knowing who you're going to sell something to before you buy it. Did you see Conor McGregor's new watch? No. Yes, I did. So here's a censored version of it, which is the only one that we can show on the show. Oh, that's hilarious. I don't know what kind of watch this is
Starting point is 00:47:47 because I'm not a watch guy. A Jacob & Co. Rasputin. Okay, so a Jacob & Co. Rasputin, which is probably already like, I don't know, a half million dollar watch or something. I don't know. I'm guessing. But all I know is he put enough diamonds on it to make it worth over 1.5 million dollars.
Starting point is 00:48:03 And then he had this custom shit done so he pushes a button and that little window in the bottom opens up and one of the the swans goes as the dude plows the girl and from behind like he's he thrusts into her on a like with the ticking of the of the clock this is just master craftsmanship it is incredibly trashy well but it is master craftsmanship it is can you trashy. Well, but it is master craftsmanship. It is. Can you imagine the guy in like fucking, I want to imagine Switzerland who was like requisitioned for this
Starting point is 00:48:31 and was like, I've been making all of the finest watches for all the world's billionaires for many years. And he's like, I want you to make your one, except it's me fucking a girl in the ass every time it ticks. Every fucking time. Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. And it's like, I guess I can do this for you, Mr. McGregor.
Starting point is 00:48:50 Your accent's for money for that. That's what he needs. It is so fucking funny to have this much money. Do you think to have this much money to do this and to not have any trouble sleeping that night? Like, it didn't even cross his mind. The way I will buy Chipotle. Like, is the way he does a ass fucking, I'm assuming ass fucking. I'm going to go with that.
Starting point is 00:49:16 Maybe it's, you know, laying, he's hitting the pussy from behind. Sometimes you can't tell from an angle like that. Well, really, this angle, it's more up to what he is, you know, what he decided. Because he dictated it. You get too... As trashy as this is, let's just assume it's anal. Assume it's anal. There's no reason to
Starting point is 00:49:35 not assume it's anal. To give her the benefit of the doubt. This is the trashiest thing. This is the trashiest expensive thing I have ever seen. It is. Iiest expensive thing I have ever seen. It is. I can't think of anything as expensive and simultaneously as trashy ever. And that's saying something in our current world, right? Where you've got people who just do crazy shit all the time with money.
Starting point is 00:49:58 Right. Those people holding bricks of money to their ear, that's classy compared to somebody fucking The people who get gold leaf on their Lamborghinis, classy compared to like somebody fucking the people who get like gold leaf on their lamborghinis classy compared to this that is class i i kind of like that the um the most opulent vehicle i've ever seen it's it's it's nothing compared to what these people do but um there was this uh preacher who had like one of those mega churches here in atlanta and uh he he pulled into our dealership once to buy something else or get something traded in. He wasn't buying Ford, don't misunderstand. But because we had a dealer's
Starting point is 00:50:31 license, he could get cool shit brought in because he wanted to do business with our guy. Anyway, it was either a Navigator or an Escalade. It was one of the two. It doesn't matter. But the inside was all alligator and mahogany. Like everything that should have been leather was alligator. And everything that should have been plastic and like on the dash and stuff where you like tap it with your finger down. You're like, oh, this is a $100,000 vehicle with a plastic fucking dash. How does that work out? No, it's like mahogany inlaid and shit. Everything's metal, mahogany, orid and shit every everything's metal mahogany
Starting point is 00:51:06 or alligator it was sick this happens to me too often where like i hear like oh it was the most gauche terrible looking no class bad taste thing ever and they lay it out there and i'm like actually i think i like that i like our alligator interior that oh that wasn't i don't think that's my style like like that was just kind of fucking nice like is it over the top i don't like the top cowboy boots they need a lone star edition but uh sunshine state edition f-150 but son of man f-150 oh glad you brought f1 uh f-150s i'm totally in favor of using reptiles for their skin for stuff. Like, I can understand that.
Starting point is 00:51:46 Reptiles are assholes. Yeah, reptiles suck. Like, I was at the zoo just the other day, and I was, like, looking at the elephant. And I was with my fiancée, and I'm like, like, I love looking at the animals, but this makes me so sad. Like, one of the elephants is just, like, looking at a wall eating, probably because he's smart enough to be like, I'm tired of people gawking at me. I don't have enough space. Make him look at my butt. Then you look at, like, the other animals, and you're like, oh, man, that giraffe, I don't like him there either. He's probably smart enough. He like, I'm tired of people gawking at me. I don't have enough space. And then you look at the other animals and you're like,
Starting point is 00:52:06 oh, man, that giraffe, I don't like him there either. He's probably smart enough. He shouldn't be there. And then you see the alligators and the lizards and the snakes. And it's like there is no reason anymore that you guys than the insects should not be kept. You're not even with it. You just have a hindbrain.
Starting point is 00:52:21 It's eat, fuck, sleep. That's all they do. They don't even mind that they're captured. I'm feeling judged right here. Yeah, maybe. And I think you just talked trash about Kyle, too. They could take you guys and throw you in there. How dare you.
Starting point is 00:52:39 Us reptilians. There's nothing wrong with that. Did you see the new F-150, though? The Lightning? Yes. Looks pretty good. I guess they've got a gasoline and an electric model. Obviously, the electric model is the cool thing. Two versions, one with like 230 miles of range and one with 300 miles of range. And I think the 300 mile range one is like mid $50,000 mark, but the other one is around 43,000.. But then you've got that federal electric vehicle tax refund thing, which I believe is something like $7,500, right? So $7,500 from $43,000.
Starting point is 00:53:17 And you're into a pretty cheap electric F-150 with 230 miles of range. And it's a four-door. Yeah, that was one of the things. super crew i read yeah which is a is there more than one four-door or does i don't know like they're always changing shit and i really don't keep up with the trend i have a super crab and ford f-150 have a king ranch with a super crew i like the king ranch oh it is. It took me six months to find this truck. Yeah? It's called, it's kind of a brown metallic. It's gorgeous, yeah.
Starting point is 00:53:52 But I got it. I've had it for a year. Then it comes out they have the electric ones coming out. So I'm like, man, really? So what year is yours, 2020? 2020, yeah. Okay, yeah. Mine's 2018.
Starting point is 00:54:06 I would really like the generator, which I think came out in 2020. Anyway. I probably won't get it. I'll probably just drive this truck for a long time. But yeah. It's a nice truck. The new electric F-150 looks super cool.
Starting point is 00:54:17 It does the electric thing. You can plug things into it if that's part of your use case. I think it's not for you, but I would like to camp and have that giant battery available. I could do a little camping every now and then if there's a part of your use case. I think it's not for you, but I would like to camp and have that giant battery available. I could do a little camping every now and then if there's weed involved. Okay, I could see that. And it's super
Starting point is 00:54:31 fast. Like 0-60 in less than 4 seconds? I think that's right. Anything near 4 seconds 0-60 in a truck is fast as hell. Yes. It's outrageously fast. It's really neat and it's affordable and they think they're, it could change the way that people think about electric vehicles. Right. Cause right now they're kind of off to the side a little bit like the Teslas and Prius to some extent, or they're like, ah, it's a, someone's made an alternative choice. But when the F-150 is electric, someone's made a mainstream electric vehicle now. See how that changes the world.
Starting point is 00:55:07 Affordably. Affordably. Because when you look at what Hummer's doing, right? They're making an electric Hummer. It's $100,000. Okay? That's not a mainstream fucking vehicle. When you're talking about something that after the tax credit is going to be $36,000, that's super affordable.
Starting point is 00:55:28 That's super affordable. That's what a new truck cost when I was a kid. Yeah, yeah. But it makes me think, where are they cutting costs on that? I mean, I have a King Ranch, which is a luxury truck, right? Right. And it costs a lot more than that. Yeah. So where are they saving the money?
Starting point is 00:55:48 I mean, the technology can't be that cheap. It could be profit margins too. Like, this is an investment in the future trying to get a foothold in EV before the other guys do. It might be spite taking a bite out of Elon Musk as well. I have a comparable truck. I have the
Starting point is 00:56:03 Platinum, which is, you know, not, not far from the King ranch. And, uh, I think they have a lot of profit margin in it. Like that could be, you can, um, you can look at the invoice. Um, the, it would have a good bit of profit margin in it, but you know, well, actually the invoice would have more to do with what the dealership is making. Uh, now that it not what ford but even the dealership has a lot of profit margin like built into every one of those little accessories from your you know nav system to your stereo to everybody's making money off of those of us who paid two thousand dollars for an upgraded radio yeah yeah absolutely when you're talking about a 60 70 000 truck there's a lot of
Starting point is 00:56:44 profit margin built in. It just had to have the running boards. It just had to have them. Dude, I love my running boards. They go up and down when you open the door. It just had to have the running boards. I had to have them. You had to have them.
Starting point is 00:56:55 I placed so much value, and I still do. I like it. My cruise control slows down when I catch up to the car in front of me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't know what I paid for that. It was worth a lot to me, but I'm sure the profit margins were delicious. You had the glass ceiling, the two panel glass roof. Yes.
Starting point is 00:57:13 In the lot, loved it. I was like, man, this is amazing. It goes back so far. It's incredible, et cetera. I've opened that like twice in the last three years. I live in California. It's 110 degrees outside. I've opened that like twice in the last three years. I live in California. It's 110 degrees outside. I never use it.
Starting point is 00:57:29 It makes you inside. I've opened it probably four times in two years. North Carolina has the best weather on the planet for four weeks a year. The two weeks headed into summer and the two weeks coming out. Those are the times I might open it. Yeah, but that truck's really cool and the price point is extraordinary um if that if that i wonder when the release date is i did that i did not look up let me see no f-150 lightning i wonder if it's it's they have saved on the weight because when
Starting point is 00:58:01 you pull the internal combustion engine out of it you're probably taking a lot of weight out of the truck right just a motor i don't know the batteries are super batteries spring of 2022 is the answer kyle god damn it it's always a year away and then and then then then next year next january to be like yeah maybe fall uh you're thinking of Tesla. I bet Ford hits their dates. I could be wrong. Holy shit. 563 horsepower. 775 foot pounds of torque. And a half ton. And it's instantaneous torque,
Starting point is 00:58:34 mind you, because it's electric. Holy shit. Standard range model 18 inch wheels can hold a maximum 2,000 pounds of payload, which is just comparable to the standard one. Extended range battery, max tow package maximum 2,000 pounds of payload, which is just comparable to like the standard one. Extended range battery, max tow package, 10,000 pounds of available towing capacity.
Starting point is 00:58:50 It's blowing the Cybertruck away in towing capacity. What does the Cybertruck have? It's far less, like half that or less. I thought it was like 4,500 pounds of tow capacity. Really? Sounds like Ford is pushing their shit in. It's what I remember it being. I remember it being like, yeah, this isn't really for towing. I look it up but the real concern no i think you're off target it's 14 000 pounds a cyber truck oh my god it it it tows 14 000 for how long yeah that is right across from one
Starting point is 00:59:20 to the other you should see the tesla's copy on this. With the ability to pull near infinite mass. We attach the Tesla Cybertruck to the moon. We attach it to a fucking black hole. What a hilarious claim. A towing capacity of over 14,000 pounds. The Cybertruck can
Starting point is 00:59:44 perform in extreme situations. Yeah, because I remember they towed a 747 with the truck, like to show off how well it tows. Now, I don't know how well it stops pulling a 747. All right, so here's something interesting, Woody. I don't know if you knew this because I didn't. In addition to connecting to your house when it needs to be recharged, the F-150 Lightning can also power your home if the lights go out,
Starting point is 01:00:04 even without the push of a button. Via its intelligent backup power feature, it can provide full home power for up to three days on a fully charged battery. So this is interesting. Or as long as 10 days if you're rationing the power for it. You know it's going to power my house for like 90 minutes. But here's the thing. I think, I could be wrong, but it was my understanding that's the charging station so it charges like a mile an hour it at 120 something like three miles per hour at 220 these numbers are from my memory
Starting point is 01:00:39 well can you explain what does that mean like how is how much, oh, 120 and 240 are voltages, right? Like normal voltage in your dryer. So like your PC is plugged into 120, your dryer is plugged into 220. Right. Okay. So the higher one, it only does something, it adds like three miles of capacity to the truck's battery per hour, right? So like overnight it gets you somewhere.
Starting point is 01:01:09 But, or you can have this charging station. And my understanding of how it works is it's like plugged into 220. So it's always filling its battery and then it can dump into the truck quickly. So it does something like 20 miles per hour. These numbers are from my memory. But the concept is this charging station always charges, always sort of tops off its battery so that it can dump quickly into the truck. Or in the case of a power outage, power your house.
Starting point is 01:01:34 That's really cool. It's a neat idea. I wonder how much that costs. I didn't see that. Yeah, I'd like to know. Like if it's five grand. It changes a lot too because that's the thing. Like you look at this truck and you say, ooh, $36,000.
Starting point is 01:01:47 You have my attention. Right, right, right. Plus $20,000 to modify your house to charge it. And are you a renter? Because you're upgrading your landlord's home. Is that cool with you? I'm hoping that it's just something you just wheel into your garage, sit over there, do some basic wiring, and you're good. If that's accomplished.
Starting point is 01:02:07 It says right here that cost of installation is between $800 and $1,300. No big deal. And a solar power went $7,000 and up. That's the cost of installation. Does it include the cost of the unit? Or is that labor? Yeah, because I can install it myself it says the range across the country varies up to fifteen thousand dollars in california the
Starting point is 01:02:31 six kilowatt system which is the uh it's twelve thousand dollars to fifteen thousand dollars jesus christ well don't do it there yeah i mean there's charging stations everywhere out here go do it in fucking utah or, I guess. Every parking lot I go to has multiple charging stations. Really? I still don't see a ton of them. When I notice them, I'm like, oh, they're on the test. I don't know if you have Tanger Outlet there. You go to a shopping center or a strip mall or a mall or a nice restaurant,
Starting point is 01:03:01 there's a charging station. Every parking garage has multiple ones in Atlanta. Yeah, parking garages, I've seen them. We have a lot out here. A lot. Yeah, for sure. That would make sense in California. In a lot of the higher-end parking areas, you see the first, you have the handicap
Starting point is 01:03:16 row, then you have the charging row. If you're driving gas-powered vehicles, you're way in the back of the lot. As you should be, you internal combustion monster. Neanderthal. Yeah, assholes. Dinosaur killer.
Starting point is 01:03:32 So Woody, are you going to... This lightning wasn't announced before you bought your current new truck, right? True. It's not new anymore. It's a 2018, I think. Is there any part of you that's like, I kind of want to give the lightning a go? Because I know you not you're not going to do the the cyber truck i'm like 80 full of crap though every year i think oh this new one looks better than mine and i don't do it
Starting point is 01:03:53 i'm actually interested like i'm going to take a look at it because like i do like the idea of a super fast fucking truck because it like clicks a lot i don't know but not at the end of the day i'm still driving a ford i don't know man. I got the twin turbos of mine. It jets, man. I can jump on a highway pretty freaking quick. So, Jesus Christ. What's the longevity on a twin turbo King Ranch though lately, right? I don't know, man, but tell you what.
Starting point is 01:04:18 I'm taking it to the edge. For now, it's good. I drive it a lot, man. That was the same question I had, right? Like 15 years from now when your truck is not yours anymore, and some lawn crew is pulling around their mowers and a trailer, is that twin turbo really still going to be doing its job? Call Jose's Express Service for your lawn.
Starting point is 01:04:39 We'll be done the same day. Very quick. Before you hang up. They get out of the truck they're all wearing racing helmets they got a roll cage on their their fucking truck fire suit twin turbo
Starting point is 01:04:55 zero turn mowers to rip it all out a twin turbo mower for when you really fucking hate grass I don't want to mow it. I hate it. I have horror grass. I'm struggling to get a price on the charging station.
Starting point is 01:05:12 Yeah. I would... I don't know. I would bet that there's... Go to Edmunds. Edmunds. E-D-M-U-N-D-S. They're like a...
Starting point is 01:05:22 You know Edmunds, right? Sure. Yeah. I used to sell cars. True cost of powering an electric car. Kilowatts, not gallons. But it's the... I'm looking at it here.
Starting point is 01:05:40 The thing I like about the Cybertruck is how ridiculous it looks. I really like how ridiculous it looks. ford obviously looks like a ford and there's nothing wrong with that but it is a boxy truck you know um which isn't my favorite uh look i really like how ridiculous the cyber truck looks that's interesting too like. Like Ford and somebody else came out with electric vehicles, electric trucks that aren't going to be like. I'm looking for a parallel to win resistance that is buyer resistance. Right. You know, if you could just imagine in your head some straw chewing Trump voter who's buying his replacement truck who doesn't want a Rivian or a Cybertruck.
Starting point is 01:06:26 He wants something that looks like the truck he's always had. And Ford and whoever else is going to fill that niche. And if it's that much cheaper, they don't even need to be going for a niche. They're going to pick up everybody who is enthralled by the idea
Starting point is 01:06:42 of an electric truck. Tesla is also right there oh that's such a cool idea well but don't to get that like really high level of tesla isn't that like 85 000 compared to like 30 grand less i think it's like 40 50 60 as you step up in the uh range and power um oh i thought there was like some 10k addition that all of them needed so it was like oh that's like self-driving if you wanted to be self-driving it's like 8k on top of whatever you get and the f-150 has true four has four motors each wheel has its own i'm looking at the frame right now it has each wheel has its own motor that's actually dude dude do
Starting point is 01:07:19 what they should do a tank mode right you should be able to go two forward, two reverse and just like a tank. Why wouldn't it do that? You could pivot in place. When I park, I want to be able to turn 90 degrees, back up, turn 90 degrees and parallel parking is a thing of the past. I bet that's going to be a test for a truck too.
Starting point is 01:07:39 There's no reason it shouldn't be able to do that with four independent motors. Yeah, definitely. That's a really good idea. That sounds pretty fucking cool. Elon, get on the phone with the engineers. Get them moving. And you know there's going to be some sort of smart system where like, you know, some sort of weird like traction control system that's really delivering the power perfectly
Starting point is 01:07:57 to all four wheels all the time. Yeah. They're pretty close to that now. Well, the Audi Quattro has that, right? Does it? Yeah. Yeah. A lot of those all-wheel drive Well, the Audi Quattro has that, right? Does it? Yeah, a lot of those all-wheel drive, like high-end things are already doing that. But when you've got like an independent motor for each one, you can really see some possibilities there. That's what you share about the Lightning.
Starting point is 01:08:16 It has a, I'm looking at it on Forbes. Forbes has a big article about it. And it has, as the taillight goes across the tailgate, it's like a big, so the whole back light lights up. It's sharp looking. Now you got me thinking, you bastards. It looks cool, man. This is King Ranch Twin Turbo. I don't even want it.
Starting point is 01:08:35 It's like going to a strip club, you know. I want one of those. Then you spend all your money on that stripper, and you go, ah, but this other one's got bigger tits. I want that one. I'm out of money. I already gave him a King Ranch. Did your truck have the thing where your phone just opens the truck
Starting point is 01:08:54 when you walk up to it if your phone's in your pocket? Oh, no. The key does that. What's really cool here is that it has a front trunk. It has a trunk space where the engine was. It has golf clubs. A frunk, isn't it? You have the bed, and you have the front storage.
Starting point is 01:09:14 If you haven't seen the frunk on the F-150, the grille lifts with the hood, and it's almost alarming. It's like a tailgate in the back almost. You get right into it. You can sit on the front comfortably. I've never seen another car like that. But you're like, yeah, why wouldn't it do that?
Starting point is 01:09:32 Why would you have a dumbass bucket in the front when you could raise the grill with it? It's cool. It's a good design. Okay, I'm reading. So this is interesting. The entry model is commercially oriented, while the more equipped mid-series XLT is $53,000 They may be selling a $40,000 truck with rubber floor mats and cloth seats. That's probably what we're talking
Starting point is 01:09:54 Well that you can buy that now, you know, that's yeah, I'm sure they can't a platinum for 40 grand I mean we'd all be running by now Yeah, I think I think the uh the tesla is still the uh the cheaper version as far as like getting the most bang for your buck but then it's cool i there's so much to know right does ford include ten thousand dollars worth of self-driving in that 50 40 grand model no are you sure i'm almost it would be in this article if it did right it would be the first thing. It'd be the top of the page. And it drives itself!
Starting point is 01:10:28 Ford has self-driving as an option on this truck, I think. Am I wrong about that? My friends and I were talking about it. That's what they told me. I didn't see it, but it's possible, I suppose. But I don't know. I'm still
Starting point is 01:10:44 leaning toward the Tesla if I were to get an electric possible, I suppose. But I don't know. I'm still leaning toward the Tesla if I were to get an electric truck, for sure. Is it the look that still pulls you over? Yeah, yeah, the look for sure. But also, like, I know that the Tesla just comes with lots of accessories at $40,000. Like, it's going to have leather seats and nice carpets, and it's going to look nice.
Starting point is 01:11:03 They don't call it self-driving. They call it hands-free driving so i it what it probably is is the the cruise control i have now adaptive cruise control which is really really good like it really does pace the car in front of you nice if you're in traffic it'll handle stop and go traffic like that much is good my truck sucks at steering though so you kind of have to do that part starting i think last year they did lane centering which just keeps you in the middle of the lane you add lane centering to their already good adaptive cruise control
Starting point is 01:11:34 you're they probably call that self-driving yeah essentially yeah the the goal obviously is that car that you know you can send to go get its own oil changed. That would be amazing. But I'll tell you, if it just handled the highway part of any drive, that would be the bulk of the value to me. For sure. I agree 100%. But imagine if like – because it does annoy me when I've got to change my oil. I'm like, ah, I've got to go do a thing.
Starting point is 01:12:01 I've got to go to that place. Where do I want to go? What kind of oil do I put in here again? But if I could just be like – if i could literally go to my phone and be like oil mode and just hear the garage door open up a car comes back in an hour this is self-defense mode so if like you you know that intruders are like coming up your driveway you go tesla truck defend the home and And it goes, yes, master. And then it runs them down.
Starting point is 01:12:27 It runs them down. Legally. I feel like I'm the only guy who noticed Kyle wants automated oil changes on his electric truck. That's a good point, right? You know what I mean. That's going to ruin your... You want to be able to send it out on food runs where you put the order in and then the automated voice says to the taco bell window like one cheesy chalupa and then it pulls up it'll have to have some sort of trebuchet system to fire the cash into the window high-tech fucking beautiful truck pulls up and then like a marble
Starting point is 01:12:58 falls like a rube goldberg machine to throw change at the woman i I guess I give the car my debit card, right? I can trust my car with my debit card. He can swipe it with him. Yeah. And then what if someone tries to get in and steal the car? What's the defense then? He won't stand for that. Poison spikes in the steering wheel. Injector seat. When are we going to employ
Starting point is 01:13:19 the injector seats? When is that going to become a thing? How many seats do you want to have to buy? Now you're putting yourself out. Are you going to squat in a seated wall sit on the way back to the Tesla dealership? Well, I've been ejected at that point. No, not you. Someone who was trying to steal your car.
Starting point is 01:13:35 I've been ejected too. So no one's safe. Please don't rob the car. We're both fucked. I think one of the options is going to be you can electrify the outside of the truck as a loss prevention. So you can put a thousand volts in it
Starting point is 01:13:55 so if you touch the car, you can kill people. That would work. It'd probably burn through your battery, though. Why just the outside? As soon as it detects that it's stolen, you just shock the driver. Whoa, shit. Now that's AI right AI right there yeah I'm digging it but yeah so my truck with the key fob in my pocket when I touch the handle it unlocks all the doors which is cool but it makes me feel like it's my superpower
Starting point is 01:14:19 like it's my hand doing it and not the key fob so when I don't have my key fob and it doesn't obey me I I'm like, the fuck? You know me. But it doesn't. You can set that to open when you walk up to it automatically. You can set that up so I can mine once I'm within three feet, it'll open up automatically. It has that.
Starting point is 01:14:37 So I just linked something. Much in the same vein, so this is a South African new anti-car theft device. So if you want to watch that, basically if someone comes up, I guess car theft, huge problem. You can watch it on your own because I guess we can't show it. Yeah, I've seen it. It will, if someone comes up to your window and you don't want them in, you can press a button and it will bathe them in flame.
Starting point is 01:14:59 Like they will be burning alive and running away. And the last thing on their mind is your car. And so you're safe. You leave. You get a cool show in the rear view. It's really, really a good idea. It's like something from a Paul Verhoeven movie. Like, it's absurd. This is AP News. I can't tell if it's
Starting point is 01:15:16 a joke. No, you're verified. This is real. This is actually made by the same guy Flight Lieutenant Mugumbo who created that helicopter. Flight Lieutenant Mogumbo. Flight Lieutenant Mogumbo. Honestly, this would be a lot more impressive invention from him, instead of like, welding heavy steel plates together onto a shopping cart frame.
Starting point is 01:15:38 It was like a shopping cart, some stolen street signs, and a license plate, and he made something plane-shaped. And you have flown this up before, haven't you? And he's like, yes, we have flown this up before. So basically what we're talking about, Sarge, is that there's this guy in Zimbabwe from many, many years ago who claimed to have a functional helicopter. And then when the news came, it's so obviously a bunch of welded, heavy iron plates that would go in a tank. And then a terrible little wind rotor. There's no window in the front he just keeps lying and i i think kyle you've watched the video too do you think that reporter is fucking with him yes a hundred thousand percent first of all there's no way someone who has a you know is a real journalist and they see this guy
Starting point is 01:16:18 and they're like they're like they're like this guy knows his business. This guy has clearly invented a helicopter in Zimbabwe. Like he's wearing a bicycle helmet where he's painted that red shit on. He just got shot out of a cannon. Yeah, he looks like this guy got shot out of a cannon. And this guy's just, and like the reporter's like, and you tell us you've brought this up before. And like the reporter's like, and you tell us you've brought this up before. He's like, yes, we have brought these up before and flown like 10 feet in the air for a distance of six feet.
Starting point is 01:16:53 And it was like, there is no way you've done this. And there's like other people in Zimbabwe standing around. And like that guy is trolling him so hard because in the intro of the segment, before you even see this guy, he plays it up like for so long, Zimbabwe has fallen behind in the world of aviation rights. And now, all this will change with Rupert Magoombay. Let's take a look. And then they get over there and it's just a dirt parking lot.
Starting point is 01:17:17 Those rotors have zero lift capacity. Those are 2x4s? They're facing the wrong way. In the Oppie and Anthony clip, it's been so slow that Jim goes, I can stand on the hood and jump over it. Every time it comes, it's like a slow jump. They're literally spinning at like
Starting point is 01:17:35 5 RPM or something like that. They're just barely going. And then it just ends. It doesn't even move forward. There's no... What engine was in there? Fucking like a bunch of car. There was no engine.
Starting point is 01:17:47 There was no engine. The same engine Fred Flintstone used. I think it was literally like rubber bands. So he had to like turn it the opposite direction a bunch of times to wind it up and then let go. Oh, that's how I want to fly. It's sitting on like, like, like a shopping carts undercarriage. And you see it. It's like, no, if it did fly and land,
Starting point is 01:18:07 everyone involved is dead because it's going to hit the ground like a meteor. And that fucking, that shopping cart is going to come right up into your asshole and tear you apart. I got to say, it is well-made. It's funny. Like if you and I set out to make a helicopter
Starting point is 01:18:23 in my shop, even if we had all the proper tools, like I've got a MIG welder and I've got supplies, it wouldn't look like this. That windshield fits. It does fit. We should give that a go. That can be the next PK challenge. Build your own helicopter.
Starting point is 01:18:39 Build your own helicopter with only tools that Mugambe had access to. Oh god. Well that's not fair at all. No, we Mugambe's tools. No, we have to take advantage of your giant warehouse of tools. I love his... Dude, is that not like a great, like, silly Halloween costume, though? Like, nobody would get it, but like, it would be such an inside joke of a Halloween costume to dress up as Flight Lieutenant Mugambe.
Starting point is 01:19:00 Flight Lieutenant Zibunde. Yeah, and then he would... Yeah, like, you know that, like, one one person if you're out at a big party be like It's a Monday. Yeah, you should you got it. I mean the black face is a little much but I Would just want to know what's with the red dot on the helmet But like why would he? Yeah, he's not in Japan. And Japan is white with the red, not the yellow.
Starting point is 01:19:29 And if he's going to do the dot, he should have got a round sticker or something because he just painted that. He clearly went for it. Yeah, and it was hand-painted. It wasn't even stenciled. He's like, this is close enough. You can see the painting of the red stripes
Starting point is 01:19:41 behind him on the left. And it's clearly brushed. It's clearly brushed and not carefully oh not carefully at all i could be wrong i saw it as like look look at the margins between like the yellow and red stripe on the left and you can see like like like brush marks like like it looks like he took he painted it like a fucking fence in his yard to my eye he just held the spray paint aerosol can on his forehead and went Oh, on his forehead. Yeah, I'm talking about on the chopper. Oh, yes.
Starting point is 01:20:08 He's got a yellow stripe between the two reds. Yeah, it's great. It's one of the funniest bits ever. It's hilarious. I think you got to give some credit to this gentleman because clearly he's in on the joke. It's his joke. It's his joke. Oh, yeah. I just
Starting point is 01:20:23 linked a video. We can't watch it on there. But if you go to like six minutes, you will see them panning down the length of this. And it is the heaviest metal I've ever seen nailed to even heavier metal. Like, it's unbelievably terrible. And he's written on it with like stenciling. Not stenciling. Like, who did the electronics, the coach works, the finance, the administration, and it's all him.
Starting point is 01:20:50 Wait, who could have financed this? That pedophile Woody was talking to in the 70s? He could have used all his quarters to finance this. Probably the 80s. It's got the names here, the mechanic, the technician, the engineer, the designer, the electronics, the coach, corch? I'm watching the prop go.
Starting point is 01:21:12 It's something from a carnival. You know? The guy who does sales, simply known as Mayo. It's so awful. I just realized the side windows, because it the side windows, because it has side windows, are clearly from an automobile.
Starting point is 01:21:28 And the best part is they've painted over the glass so it gives no visibility out of it. They thought painting a big eye on the glass would be a good idea. It's a good move. Oh, and the report, like, this is a comedy bit, dude. This reporter looks like
Starting point is 01:21:44 somebody right out of Monty Python's bit. Like, he's got a mullet. Well, he's dressed like a pretend director. He's got the mullet and the ponytail. He's showing pictures out of a book of other helicopters that fly. You know what I'm starting to think? That maybe the reporter is the mastermind and he just hired this guy to like dress up like this and sit in front of something he made maybe either way
Starting point is 01:22:11 it's so fucking funny i'm starting to think because the reporter is so slick with his like little jabs and jokes i'm thinking he's the mastermind behind this whole thing i mean if this guy flight lieutenant zibunde is truly in it, then he is playing the part to perfection. If you watch the whole video, they actually have an airplane they built, too. Really? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. They have an airplane they built with car tires and suspension, and it is special. This is special.
Starting point is 01:22:43 There's a lot of lumber, a lot of heavy lumber involved here. Now, is this guy going to claim that he flew this? I wouldn't fly on this. Actually, I wouldn't be afraid of flying on this at all. He's using what they call plastic stuff um with plastic things like eyes keep the electronics on board it's like yeah that's that's fucking absurd but you know what i couldn't build a helicopter i've never tried but i couldn't yeah i i can't prove. I just know I could come closer. I know I wouldn't get that deep into building a helicopter
Starting point is 01:23:29 before I figured out I didn't know how to build a helicopter. Yeah. Every helicopter I've seen, the rotors are like, you know, parallel to the ground. I have a hockey question, Taylor. Yeah. Cadre is offered a hearing, faces ban for a legal hit uh yeah was it a bad hit what do you think it was a very bad hit so Nazem Kadri uh he was a player for the Leafs
Starting point is 01:23:52 for many years and now he plays with the Colorado Avalanche and he has a long history of doing stuff like this in the playoffs like head hunting and and doing a lot of like the way the NHL rules it is like was the principal point of head of contact the head and you watch the justin falk one and clearly the only point of contact is justin falk's head like he's clearly concussed he has to go through concussion protocol cadre should probably get suspended for the rest of the series uh if it wasn't the first time he if this was the first time he did this that would be excessive um but he has such a history of doing this and and headhunting people and intent to injure. So fuck him. Yeah. What did he get in the game? Two minutes?
Starting point is 01:24:29 What did he get? It may have just been a two minute roughing. It may have... Did they give him a misconduct from the game? I'm not sure. If they did, then he's definitely... Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was a game misconduct. So they're not going to suspend him.
Starting point is 01:24:45 They'll fine him like five grand. And then he'll be back in the next game. So a game misconduct means he's out for the rest of that current game. Correct. Yeah, they kicked him out for the remainder of that game. But he'll be back, I would guess, unless there's supplemental discipline. I haven't seen anything. So he's almost lucky.
Starting point is 01:24:59 He'll miss half a game instead of a whole one. He missed half a game. Maybe they'll give him something. I'm not seeing anything yet. But the guy who he hit, justin falk he's out he's not going to be able to play probably like he's probably got a concussion protocol thing now so yet another defenseman the the blues are just fucked this year everybody everybody got screwed covid fucked the blues so hard would you describe the blues as fragile? This season, they were getting just, they were stepping on fucking banana peels in their off time,
Starting point is 01:25:29 like just falling and hurting themselves, or just every bad bounce to their face or jaw was happening. Class team. Like, basically what happened was COVID happened in March 2020. At that point, the Blues were coming off a cup win. They were the best team in the NHL, and then COVID happened. And big break, they come back, and they're just not giving a shit. Like, clearly, they just didn't fucking care in the bubble when they came back. Well, they were like the worst team six months before they won the cup.
Starting point is 01:25:55 True. Yeah. So you might call them the most undeserving cup winners in history. I wouldn't say so. I'd probably say one of those Philly teams. Probably one of those Philly teams from the mid-70s. That doesn't sound right. Winning 16
Starting point is 01:26:12 games into June, that's tough, man. I don't know. Winning 16 games, that's a big deal. Somebody does it every year. That's true. This year, it's going to be fucking Tampa again, I'm guessing. I like Tampa. They're probably my favorite team on the east coast because i've gone and seen
Starting point is 01:26:29 you know i've seen a game there because my dad lives there and even though i like them like not as much as the blues obviously because i've always lived here but this and if we're the blues doing it i would be like rah rah shish boom bah so i can't be a hypocrite but so basically what happened is there's a there's a salary cap in the nhl up until the playoffs and then they say no salary cap in the playoffs and so tampa delayed the surgery of their best player until january of this year and said ah we got him in just now he should be fine by the playoffs or by like the later in the season and everybody saw right through it so basically they removed his eight million nine, $9 million from their cap hit. They signed somebody else to fill in or another couple people for depth.
Starting point is 01:27:08 And then he doesn't play a single game all season. Playoffs start. He and what, Stamkos come back or someone else. And now their effective playoff cap is $99 million. Everybody else's, $81 million. And so they've got about 25% more money to play with. And it's all legal. It's a loophole. And so they're not going 25% more money to play with. And it's all legal. It's a loophole.
Starting point is 01:27:26 And so they're not going to get in trouble for it. The NHL should close the loophole. But as long as it's open, I think it's Steve Iserman, who's the GM there. He wouldn't be doing his job if he didn't take advantage of loopholes. So you can't blame him. You can a little, though. It takes out of the ear to the game. But like, what's he going to?
Starting point is 01:27:40 He has the opportunity to take advantage of it. And he knows that the NHL is going to do peanuts. They're not going to do shit. Well, I'm sure you're right. It just sounds like not everyone is allowed. Not everyone has a team happy to go, would you say, almost $20 million over the cap? If they tried that shit in Raleigh, they can't do that here.
Starting point is 01:28:00 That's true. It depends on the level of it. Like Chicago, it was either 2013 or 2015 when they won the cup. They did the same thing with Patrick Kane, the best American player in the history of the game. You know, he makes $13 million a year. And then they go, oh, first game of the playoffs. Patrick Kane's back. Oh my God.
Starting point is 01:28:14 This is so happy. This is so lucky. Who could have seen this coming? Like you weren't okay to play a nary three days ago. And yet here you are, playoff form, dipsy dude. And it's like, manrick kane didn't look like he missed a beat no shit he's been practicing with them for five months like he's just been wearing a no contact jersey pretending that he couldn't get hit and so this shit it's not like the tampa bay lightning are the only ones doing it and i know that's probably like i don't know
Starting point is 01:28:37 anything but the truth is somewhere in the middle right like he did actually maybe need a little rest like if he was 100 healthy they need to well i think they changed it after patrick kane and they said like it needs to be a little more evidence that you're not just hanging out uh but i think that was mostly lip service because kucherov has been practicing with them for months and uh i don't know like i would you really do that would you have a player that cold like it's worth it to you to have him just literally what point what point you think this is about sports is about it's business this is a multi-billion dollar business this is all this is not x's and o's it's ones and zeros man it's dollar signs but it's still about winning or like business is about winning it i don't know if
Starting point is 01:29:22 i just feel like if take whatever lebron james gave him the entire season off and then his first game of the season is yesterday he's probably not lebron james anymore i mean maybe uh but with someone at that high level i think lebron would come back swimmingly very easy and this guy kucherov is, he's not a LeBron in the sport, but he's one of the top 10 best players in the league. To show how stiff and sore he was, his first game back, he scored two goals and got an assist. Look, hockey is a different breed than other sports.
Starting point is 01:29:57 You guys know this because you're rotating on the bench. So you can modify. I coached for 20 years. You can modify your, you know, you can modify, I coach for 20 years. You can modify your, your, you know, like the Olympics, 1980, we won because they just rotated every 30 seconds. They just outscaled the Russians because they had more energy. And a lot of it is just having the knowledge of how to use your players and when to put them into positions and when to put your grinders out, when, who to slow down.
Starting point is 01:30:28 I mean, so there's a lot of tactical things involved with putting your players in the right position to be effective. I mean, Detroit was a master at that back when they had their run. Any team that's really dominant has the ability to have your players lined up. Not everybody's going to be a goal scorer. You have guys who are really good in the corners. You get fourth line scoring. You have all these things that the coaches and the GMs, okay, we got 27 guys
Starting point is 01:30:50 to pick from. Let's keep the energy up. Rotate the bottom guys to our energy guys and let the talent guys kind of float. Watch most of the goals come after some high exchange of energy and then you bring out your studs and they'll pop a goal. And just watch hockey from that point of view now to watch the energy build up how they send energy and then all
Starting point is 01:31:09 of a sudden Patrick Hames up and he's just doodling and scoring and the same thing with Ovechkin because he's really a good recipient a recipient of that build the energy up and then the shift when the energy drops a little bit pop him out that's why tj oshi's so good because he's a master of flow in the game you see him control how the energy moves and then you pop a vest out there give him the puck and he's just he's a killer so yeah just watch just watch the game in terms of how how coaches control so you think you can take the whole season off come back and do that oh god yeah yeah okay yeah. Yeah? Okay. At that level, I stopped playing three years ago, and I'm going to take a trip to Europe this year to play the senior thing.
Starting point is 01:31:53 And I just started sticking around again. Man, five minutes in the garage, doodling around. You know how to play. What you don't have is the intensity of game. But when you're doing it that long and you're that good at it, it takes you a couple shifts to acclimate. And your coach will get you in. He'll line you up against a softer line.
Starting point is 01:32:14 You see how they kind of bring him back. And, again, 30 seconds. Go out there, take a short shift, get acclimated. Yeah, it's rare that a hockey player needs more than one or two skates to get at that level to come back. Because they're so talented. It's just a gift. Okay.
Starting point is 01:32:33 I think maybe one of the mistakes, I'm thinking of fighting. I watch a lot of fighting. And a guy takes four years off, which is a stretch, but that happens. And then they come back and they have ring rust. Well, they don't get a lot of warm-ups with a non-competitive time they come back in and they're not used to the speed and the pace of a real fight and they get wrecked when they come back from a sometimes gap your favorite fighter i know you're really big on him i'm not so much but conor mcgregor came back and just really destroyed Cowboy. You talk about individual sport.
Starting point is 01:33:10 The ultimate team sport is hockey. You've got 21 guys in the ice. You have four lines. You're rotating through. You can control a lot of rust. 21 guys in the ice. You took a lot of penalties. Did you? Do you remember? Everybody out!
Starting point is 01:33:25 Maybe we'll fool in this time. I got us again. They call me the too many men on the ice coach. We just called you for that. And you got five guys out there. They caught me again. Did this clip Kyle, you just posted of John's injury.
Starting point is 01:33:43 Yeah. Did that is fucking brutal i haven't seen someone knocked out so obviously we can't show any nhl uh content because they're real sticklers but look i don't follow hockey but apparently this player named brad taveras uh good player um he gets taken down pretty pretty strong hit but probably nothing out of the ordinary for the nhl he goes down but then another player comes along at what I'm going to call like 80% of his maximum fucking speed that he can accomplish and gives him the MMA equivalent of a flying knee to the face
Starting point is 01:34:15 and gives him a very, very severe concussion. Did he hit the same guy or the hitter? No, it's a different guy. The same guy. Brad Tavaas gets hit goes down and he is in a poor position and out of nowhere he takes like the guy's skating so you know he's pumping his legs and his and his knee goes right into his face yeah and concusses the fuck out of him like he's trying to yeah and when he tries to get up at the end he is so wobbled
Starting point is 01:34:43 and incoherent i see him drooling at one point. It's early on. It's hard to see, but he's drooling. He looks like he was shot. And for you to know, this is not some nobody player. He's a really fucking good center in the NHL. This just happened, apparently. Yeah, apparently it just happened.
Starting point is 01:34:59 But you could see, and Corey Perry is the one who came in afterward, and he almost made it worse because cory perry's trying to jump over his head let me interrupt by we haven't explained yet that the the bad hit the second one was an accident yeah the second was a total total accident freak accident you can see cory perry try and jump but all that jump ended up doing was making it more energy uh you may have yeah and you know know, Corey Perry's a very dirty guy. No one on earth could possibly say
Starting point is 01:35:26 this was intentional. That's clearly... He was trying to dodge the vulnerable player. Yeah. He wanted to continue on with the play, but instead he hit this guy
Starting point is 01:35:35 harder than this guy's ever been hit in his entire fucking life. Then anyone's been hit. It's outrageous. He was probably moving, what, 22 miles an hour or something like that.
Starting point is 01:35:45 And Corey Perry, thank God he's a little guy. I know he's like 6'4". If an MMA fighter could generate this much energy from their flying knee, they'd be so happy. Like he hit this guy with one of the hardest knees. It's just like a big plastic cap on your knee. He's so lucky that it didn't drive his face shield into his face and cut him. It's an incredibly powerful hit that he took to the fucking head.
Starting point is 01:36:10 He's done. He's trending on Twitter right now. He's so concussed. I know they have those concussion lists and everything, but sometimes it's like, yeah, he got a little rattled. I bet everyone here has had a concussion, like a little one at least. You're okay. You're okay the next day as long as you're not knocked unconscious i've been knocked unconscious and and you're fucked up for the rest of the day i got hit if you get wobbled a little you're all right you're all right i've been wobbled boxing it's like oh that was a little
Starting point is 01:36:40 weird i can still drive a car This guy got knocked the fuck out. Yeah, this guy, usually even when somebody gets knocked out, it's like they're back with it in a few seconds. Yeah. I have not seen somebody get ragdolled like that in forever. And it's the worst kind of ragdolling because this guy didn't see it at all. He'd already taken the hit
Starting point is 01:37:00 and was just getting back up for the next play and then takes a fucking lower ankle to the head from Corey. That's dude. I got knocked out in hockey once. And I have a gap in my memory. I remember the hit. I remember that my knee was injured. I blew my ACL in that play.
Starting point is 01:37:20 And then the next memory is walking to the car. And like what a struggle it was. I used a hockey stick as a crutch. It really sucked. That was a bad day. Yeah. I've been flash knocked out boxing. Not where you wake up looking at the sky.
Starting point is 01:37:37 But where you get hit. And then you're sitting on your butt. And you're looking at the other guy like, Oh, there's a little bit of time there that didn't happen, huh? Yeah, no, the whole thing about changing into street clothes and stuff, like I lost that.
Starting point is 01:37:52 Did you ever get knocked out so bad you lost pieces of the game, James? Lost four days of my life. How'd that happen? We have a winner. Ding, ding, ding. I got a scar right here. i got hit and i was playing defense i come around the guy you know kind of push him off the crease and guy at the point was winding
Starting point is 01:38:16 up with a slap shot and i come right around him and look up and it pinged me right in the forehead all i remember is i remember like all of a sudden everything just stopped it froze i heard a voice in my head hey man i go what's up he goes he's getting hit by a puck i go no shit am i hurt he goes yeah i go what do i do he goes i fall down roll around all right now what do i do no this is a conversation in my head at this time all right with no one with no one in my head there's two this is both these are two voices in my head i'm talking to myself i go yes now what i do he goes okay roll around roll around okay now what um put your hand on your head and let him know you're hurt i go okay and then and then next thing i know
Starting point is 01:39:02 i see the trainer she's over over. They take my helmet off. They undo my helmet because I'm bleeding and everything. And I just remember lights. And then I remember Beth, my trainer, she comes over to the room. And she goes, you all right? I go, yeah. Is the game over? She goes, James, what day do you think it is? I go, it's Saturday.
Starting point is 01:39:27 We're playing. She goes, Wednesday. You've been coming to practice in college. You've been taking classes and coming to practice. It's like you're... I just didn't show up for two days. When I show up, I go, Beth, it's Saturday.
Starting point is 01:39:42 It's not Wednesday. I just don't remember anything but four days of my life i just remember that very distinct conversation i'm had so i was talking to somebody in my head that's fascinating i'm talking to you it's a real kind of and i saw the game film was at that their whole moment from the time i got pinged the time my phone was rolling around it was like like bing bing but in my head it probably took three minutes yeah it's like a dream where you'll have a dream for three minutes and it feels like you watched a whole epic of a movie that's so what did you do during the four days that were lost
Starting point is 01:40:12 you attended classes you went to practice you did and people didn't observe that you were weirdo during those that's why yeah but that's kind of odd anyway so it wasn't like it was acting out out of character i can see that that makes sense yeah but that's kind of odd anyway, so it wasn't like it was acting out of character. I can see that. That makes sense. Yeah. That's fascinating. James is bleeding out of his ears again in class. The part where there's some sort of binary system in your brain where there are two of you to go back and forth is really fascinating to me. I wonder if there's some sort of scientific explanation for that.
Starting point is 01:40:44 That's really cool. I've done something similar. I've had that a couple times. to me i wonder if there's some sort of like scientific explanation for that like that that's really cool yeah i've done something similar i've had it a couple times i had that i was uh i was climbing a mountain i hit an ice patch going out there's a tribe in colorado rapahoe glacier up in colorado and uh i was wasn't paying attention i was coming on icy and i started sliding down the side of the hill and this is like a thousand foot,000-foot precipice, you know, drop off. And I just like, oh, shit. You're going to die. I go, no, I don't want to die.
Starting point is 01:41:11 He says, well, okay. What are you going to do? I said, I don't know. Oh, grab that tree over there. And I stuck my arm out and I just hung off, kind of swung off the cliff hanging out of this tree. And it's the same exact thing. Everything slowed down to a crawl. And something's like, hey, you're in trouble here dude you better grab something wait a minute i'm gonna
Starting point is 01:41:31 you're gonna die oh shit what am i doing all right listen um hmm i'm don't don't grab that tree right that tree there grab that tree i reached out and that was it but it was a definite conversation going i was having with somebody it's like It's like I'm having with you guys. Thank God you had that guy in your head or you would have died. You guys have never had that? The closest I've had to that is this weird thing. When I was four, I fell out of a shopping cart and I hit my head on, you know, those things they hang products on, like at Walmart or whatever. Those little metal things that stick out.
Starting point is 01:42:04 Well, that hit my head and split my scalp open like a big, I have a big lung scar that goes across the top of my head. And so when I was under anesthesia getting my, and also the edge of the shopping cart, you know how it's got like it's kind of sharp
Starting point is 01:42:20 like the edge of a shopping cart still has those spikes that come up a little bit. Those went between my gum and my lip and separated that to my nose so like i can go way up in there now because it's it's it goes all the way to my nose i can touch the bottom of my nose when i stick my finger in there um so that happened and i've never tried yeah they didn't know why i was spitting up blood until they looked so they had So they had to put me under general anesthetic. And I'm like four or five years old, and I had this vivid dream of being in a completely black existence, except for a spotlight shining down from above onto a black man who was in a birdcage.
Starting point is 01:42:58 And the black man is in the birdcage telling me everything's going to be okay. What media had you been consuming? I had never seen any media remotely like classic disney that is as close to the bird that is as close to a like religious experience as i've ever come like maybe maybe it was morgan freeman maybe morgan freeman is god but i was in a completely black not even a room just the existence was blackness. And there was one spotlight shining down from above onto this birdcage, an enormous man-sized birdcage, like, like Tweety bird's birdcage from the cartoons. And there was a black man in it suspended from the floor.
Starting point is 01:43:36 And I was looking up at him and he was telling me everything's going to be okay. And that is bizarre for a four or five. was literally four or five like because i'm i'm young enough that i'm not allowed to walk you know in a store yeah that's bizarre you would think you would have pictured your mom or dad or a t just someone in your life not a random black man and the thing is like like like i didn't know any black men as a four-year-old i didn't know any black men as a four-year-old. I didn't know any, you know, you know how Hank kills dog. Like they think it's racist. Like, like that, that was me. Like I, there just were no black men in my life. Like my dad didn't have any employees who were black. I'm only four.
Starting point is 01:44:15 How many people do I know anyway? And so like, I just didn't, I didn't know any. So it was very bizarre to dream that or see that I guess, whatever it was. I've never had an experience like that like getting hitting my head that hard that it like shook me in that way thankfully sounds awful i know you know concussions once you get past a certain number like you're just kind of fucked like you know about frankie muniz yeah doesn't he he not remember huge amounts of filming? He doesn't remember any of Malcolm in the Middle.
Starting point is 01:44:48 You know what? He gets to watch that show like he wasn't in it. That's great. Frankie Muniz, who played Malcolm in Malcolm in the Middle, a wonderful show, by the way, has sustained several severe concussions in his life. I didn't look into how, like if he's some sort of X Games fucking athlete
Starting point is 01:45:03 or if he just had an abusive uncle. But in any case, he's been knocked in the head so many times he doesn't remember the filming of that fucking show and that was a that was like years that show went on for at least four or five seasons i liked it it was a good show when i was a kid it was one of my favorite shows how old is he too young he looks like he. He looks like he's probably 30, 35. He's 35. Yeah. Like your age, yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:45:32 Damn. I was thinking about that story you just told. Isn't that the plot of Get Out? Movie Get Out? I haven't seen that. Oh, yikes. Yeah. I watched Get Out in prison, so I think we had an edited version.
Starting point is 01:45:46 So I didn't get all the way to the end to the part where – What were you doing in prison, man? What were you – Marijuana charges. Before we finish. Frankie Muniz had a mini stroke. That's what happened. Oh, okay.
Starting point is 01:45:57 Okay. Yeah, I had to go to federal prison for possession of marijuana. I had half an ounce of marijuana, and they made a very big deal of it and made an example of me. So I did a little time in federal prison. Just a couple months. Yeah, still. Yeah. It's no fun.
Starting point is 01:46:15 But I don't want to be like, yeah, I was in the clink. It's your nickel. You burned through a lot of books though. What is two months? It's not a dime because that'd be ten years. Is it two cents? It's not a dime, because that'd be 10 years. It's not even two. Is it two cents? It's at least two cents.
Starting point is 01:46:28 I got a penny. That's at least two or three cents I did. But I feel like a nickel is five years. It is. You've got a doge. I did a couple pesos then, because I was mostly in there with Mexicans. Two pesos. I like that.
Starting point is 01:46:43 That works. Two pesos. And then a whaling dollar. He did a dollar he dues yeah um no i i watched the uh we watched a lot of movies in there uh on tv but they were always like the shitty edited versions with commercial breaks and stuff but i didn't get all the way to get out to the end of get out um but it was pretty good the parts that i watched they were fascinated with it in there. Just went back to bed? Well, the kid, he's captured, and someone took over his body,
Starting point is 01:47:12 and his whole experience, he's in this black room with a little white light up top sitting in a spotlight in a chair, pretty much immobile, and he's trying to get out of there back to get his body back. Okay. That does sound familiar. I need to watch the end of the movie now. Well, it runs through the whole film. He's...
Starting point is 01:47:33 He goes to his girlfriend's house and his parents do the, you know, get him into the machine and have him sent... His body gets... You know, somebody takes over his body and he's trapped inside his own head or his body. The whole movie, the guy's stuck there in this chair crying. It's kind of heartbreaking.
Starting point is 01:47:52 Yeah. It was an interesting concept. I guess I'll spoil it. I don't care. It was something like white people becoming immortal by putting their brains into the bodies of these black guys. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. it's wild the brain swapping technology to be basically basically immortal yeah but i bet that even that wouldn't work because like you know how if you make a copy of a key like a hundred times
Starting point is 01:48:18 like the key is just it's not it's not a workable key anymore like you lose little bits like when you caught when you photocopy a photocopy a photocopy, eventually it's just going to be a big blur. Eventually, no matter how many miles you put in. I think it's more like putting a document in different folders, though, than making a photocopy. What if it's a digital copy?
Starting point is 01:48:39 You can make a digital copy, copy, copy, copy. You just keep copying the file. It doesn't get worse there is there is digital decay but with blockchain there is not it's a constantly reproducing um entity inside the digital system i don't know what blockchain is what does it mean oh jesus um man it's this long basically what it is, you create this, we'll call it very simply, you create an entity digitally, all right, and it's kind of cycled through the system
Starting point is 01:49:13 and it's verified a million times in a second. You have all these nodes that are kind of looking at it, so it has perfect replication because it can't be changed. If he starts it and I change it, you're going to know. It's going to have to match all these nodes at once. So you create a digital footprint that's permanent. It's called minting. I'm getting to NFTs pretty soon.
Starting point is 01:49:38 I'm selling NFTs in this couple of weeks. Non-fungible tokens. So basically what that is, you're creating an entity that's digital that has a permanent signature that can't ever be changed or modified. Non-fungible, you can't change. So it's like a permanent digital record. And you can stamp things. You can take a picture and stamp it. And it's like an original document that's a rare document because nothing else has that stamp. Only that stamp exists on that particular digital file. So those NFTs, I saw something about that.
Starting point is 01:50:15 Yeah. I saw people not liking it. The catch on it is two things. One, the amount of energy it takes to do the Bitcoin. All this stuff is very energy intensive. You got people mining it and you're creating this, it takes electricity to run the internet. So you're really overusing the internet and spending a lot of energy to create
Starting point is 01:50:40 these tokens. And I mean, very, very rudimentary in my explanation here. And a lot of it too, is that a lot of it is that people are afraid that it's going to be create, if somebody gets a hold or is able to get some type of encryption capability, like if you use AI or something, quantum physics, quantum computing, that can break into the chain,
Starting point is 01:51:02 then somebody can basically control everything that's on this internet, on this network, so to speak. So you are... But the risk of that is very, very low right now. Do we have quantum computing? Because that changes the game. Once you have a quantum computer, it changes the game.
Starting point is 01:51:17 Because now your computing power has become something else. Quantum computer. I have a regular PC. I was going to say the name of a simple part, and I realized I don't know any of the names of the parts. I have an NVIDIA graphic. I think there's only two quantum computers in existence.
Starting point is 01:51:48 Google has one, and I think it's the 53 Quibit. And that's a pretty powerful machine. Put it this way. It would take the best computer in the world, like 10,000 years to do a certain computation. Google's computer can do it in like maybe two hours. So you have the world's best supercomputer would take like, to do it, this is a massive equation. This is for understanding the relationship of electrons and neutrons in the universe, right? It's this massive amount of data. A quantum computer can do it in about two hours where the world's greatest supercomputer takes
Starting point is 01:52:24 about, well, they say it's 10,000 years. And they say, no, no, it would only take us three days. But still, two hours, two minutes to three days is still a huge gap in capability. Definitely. Yeah, I don't know. I don't know anything about that. But we will jump back to that in just a moment. Real quick, we're going to hear from a couple of wonderful sponsors.
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Starting point is 01:55:15 so check those guys out links are below i'm out look at the links make us look good always uh damn it i had something in my head and it flew away. Don't you hate that? Don't you fucking hate it? Someone bail me out. Allison Williams from Get Out is one of the prettiest actresses in Hollywood. And actresses in Hollywood tend to be pretty as a rule of thumb.
Starting point is 01:55:38 What's her name? Let me see what you're talking about because I'm going to strongly disagree. Allison Williams from Get Out was strikingly good looking in that movie to me. Her dad is, right? Her dad.
Starting point is 01:55:51 Is her dad Robin Williams? Brian Williams. Handsome man. My daughter's so hot. That's your Brian Williams. That's my Robin Williams. I, that's my Robin Williams. I guess it wasn't very good. I don't know how to do Robin Williams.
Starting point is 01:56:12 She is very attractive and very much your type. My daughter's so hot, it makes me want to do something crazy, something dire. She's definitely your type. She's got the strong jawline And she's shockingly thin Perfect She looks like she has an eating disorder But she still works out her jaw muscles In her spare time
Starting point is 01:56:34 That's how I like them She makes up the fact that she doesn't eat By using one of those chew toys To keep that jaw Fucking powerful and square Well you better You gotta compete with Ricky Van Veen No you don't they divorced in 2019 to keep that jaw fucking powerful and square. Well, you better. You got to compete with Ricky Van Veen. No, you don't.
Starting point is 01:56:48 They divorced in 2019, Woody. Ricky Van Veen. Who the hell is that? Is that the guy she met while she was working on Girls? She's on Girls for the whole thing. Oh, yeah. She's the one that got her ass ate. By who?
Starting point is 01:57:05 Yeah, I remember that was a thing. Yeah, yeah. Allison Williams. It's a new link in the chat. She's on Pornhub? Oh, this is a new link. Oh, yeah, here she is getting her ass eaten. Yeah, here you go.
Starting point is 01:57:17 No, she's just getting doggy styled in this. No, she's getting her ass eaten. I'm watching it. I gave you. I'm watching it. I'm watching it. He's way up there, Morty. He's standing up there. He's not doing that. I don't care about your picture.
Starting point is 01:57:31 I'm watching a man eat her asshole right now. I said not in my link and you said... Anyway, in mine you can see her face and she's really pretty. I like how all pretend fucking there can't be any actual stroke to the fucking or you would see penis so it's all just like like bunny humps
Starting point is 01:57:50 yeah I wonder what this conversation is I don't know I'm not listening I was looking for the ass eating I want to die inside the mouth of a lion that way we can be together forever wow she's into this dude oh here we go If you just send her name and ass-eating, you'll get there. I'm trying to share the link, but I'm bad at it.
Starting point is 01:58:06 Wow. She's into this dude. Oh, here we go. Oh, he's really getting in there, Morty. Really up there, Morty. Get that tongue deep in that asshole. All right, try that second thing I sent. Redirection notice. I think I found the scene.
Starting point is 01:58:21 Okay, I've got it. This time I've got it, I promise. This latest link. This one. Oh, yeah, yeah, this latest link oh I'm definitely seeing it yeah and he comes out and he wipes his face clean do you think he like intentionally ruined that scene over and over
Starting point is 01:58:35 yes sorry I sneezed in your pussy again we gotta start from the top sorry I keep saying those racial slurs hey guys do you want me to spoil it for you as an actor from the top. Sorry, I keep saying those racial slurs while I'm eating your ass. Hey guys, you want me to spoil it for you as an actor? I can tell you what went on there.
Starting point is 01:58:50 He has a... You know what the moleskin is? I know it is a blister prevention thing, yeah. It's like a pad of skin colored. It's like maybe quarter inch thick. She has her
Starting point is 01:59:04 undergarment you wear. skin colored. It's like maybe quarter inch thick. She has her like a undergarment you wear. So he's got his face squarely planted in a cotton pad. So she has like a moleskin protective barrier between her and his face.
Starting point is 01:59:20 Yes. You know what? That's good enough for me. I choose not to believe that. Sexy enough. I like to think that these actors are having a good time but you know i'm a method actor i actually need to eat your ass so that my care that because that's what my character would do and to like get into that headspace for for for the later scenes i'm going to actually need one of the when the biggest our friend dirty is so like closed off sexually. He was like, wait,
Starting point is 01:59:46 you guys actually eat your girlfriend's asses? You do that? You look an asshole? And we're all just like, like everybody in the call, like 15 dudes are just like,
Starting point is 01:59:55 yeah, yeah, yeah. They're like, yeah, I like get my ass eaten too. He's like, ooh,
Starting point is 02:00:01 that's gay. And I was like, how is it gay to have a girl at your ass and he's just like y'all are weird i'm like what are you 12 what are you 12 year old your child 22 doesn't have sex any sense at all it's gay to do something with a girl like a 22 year old baby if you let her watch you get by another guy yeah but that's personal hey nothing wrong with that either.
Starting point is 02:00:26 You're just trying to survive. Is Gettysburg Gay? No. Anything you do with a girl is fine. It's straight by definition. I mean, even if you have her dress up like Burt Reynolds, it's fine. It's fine. I'm glad you said that because that's a load off my mind.
Starting point is 02:00:43 Well, I know that's your thing. I was concerned. I was about to ask about Burt Reynolds. I've seen that collection of fake mustaches you have. I know that you're just not into disguises. I knew what they were for. Thank you. Jackie's like, I don't mind, but the chest hair gets itchy.
Starting point is 02:01:06 Yeah, that's funny. Well, now I know how they do ass-eating and shit in movies. Well, I mean, I guess ass-eating wouldn't be my first guess. This is the first time I've ever seen that in any movie ever. But like... If you go to that... Or you can go to my favorite subreddit called The Extra Mile, and you'll see lots of examples of them just doing it in movies just extra mile is a cool subreddit yeah it's it's all clips from movies where where the
Starting point is 02:01:30 sex acts are not simulated usually movies you haven't heard of not always but usually a lot of french films a lot of indie films yeah it's like this is just porn yeah yeah some of these you know they have pornographic scenes in them in them, but they're scripted films. A lot of times it'll be an indie film, and you'll find out that, oh, yeah, the director cast his girlfriend in this because that way he can fuck her. And it makes sense. That's what in, I think it's Brown Bunny. Are you familiar with Brown Bunny, the movie? Is that the one where she blows him?
Starting point is 02:02:04 Yes, she blows him. Well, that's her ex-boyfriend. And I think she's single at the time, and he's single at the time, and they're exes. And she was somehow like, well, this doesn't even increase my body counts. Like, why not? I've done it before. Like, I could. And I think it ruined her career.
Starting point is 02:02:22 I'll check and see. Really? Who, Chloe Sevigny? Yeah, that's who it is. Is that who it is? No, she's a star, man. I work with Chloe. She's a great gal.
Starting point is 02:02:31 Yeah. I'm glad to be wrong. Yeah, she really likes to suck dick. She's doing it like it's her job. It is. Getting paid well for it. To act like someone who likes sucking dick, which is what she's doing there.
Starting point is 02:02:55 What are you saying? getting paid well for it to act like someone who likes sucking dick which is what she's doing there some of these are just just not even movies with plot lines i guarantee it well you know what there's a movie on netflix with like full penetration and really what's it called on netflix it's something love it's like in love you're not thinking of nine songs or something no no that's a classic one though caligula i mean oh caligula is all over extras like like it's it's the most famous example example of non-simulated sex acts in a mainstream movie yeah there were just two women sucking that guy's dick for a whole scene it was a whole scene. You could see it all. It's undeniably real.
Starting point is 02:03:30 It's a real penis and those are real women sucking it. Absolutely. Let it know if it was the back of the head shot. There's a hand here and there's something going on. It's like, that's a dick. It's the profile shot where you can see what's up. You see the penis go into the mouth. There's no more questions to ask.
Starting point is 02:03:46 Some of these films have ejaculation in them. They don't fuck around. I'm not even kidding. If you cum, it's pornography. Oh, no, that's not fair. I mean, what makes it not pornography if you're cumming?
Starting point is 02:04:01 There's a script. And a script in porn. Not a good i think i think the plot script in porn not a good one that is not sometimes they do sometimes they do yeah i feel like that's out of style now right well no no i guess if it's uh uh the stepbrother thing yeah the whole simply yeah they always have to establish that they're brother and sister, and then they have sex. Yeah, I like that. But. Trying to learn more.
Starting point is 02:04:31 Surprisingly, people did not like Caligula. 23% on Rotten Tomatoes, which was, you know, the renowned rating system of the time. Hmm. I'm getting a little distracted by Extra Mile this summer. Yeah, I'm getting distracted by distracted by Extra Mile this subreddit. Yeah, I'm getting distracted by this lady getting her ass eaten.
Starting point is 02:04:47 And this continual loop on my screen. I'm going to have to... All right, everyone, stop looking at pornography. You're not the boss of me. Yeah, you're right. You're the boss of me. What is this? Jesus Christ.
Starting point is 02:05:04 All right, this is just more pornography your link all right let me see all right here's a dumb topic that's not porn at all so apparently california condors are super rare they're on the verge of extinction and 10 of the planet's condors are fucking with one woman's house in California. She has no recourse. She can't do anything. They just go to her porch, knock over the plants, destroy the furniture, and
Starting point is 02:05:35 leave. Oh, and they poop everywhere. And their poop gets hard like concrete. And she has to have people come in with special tools to fix her trashed deck on the regular. Why does it dry like concrete and she has to have people come in with special tools to fix her track debt or trashed deck on the regular. Why is it dry? Like concrete?
Starting point is 02:05:50 What are they? Just bones. I mean, they're buzzards, right? We don't know where they came from, but somewhere around 20 condors, 10% of the planet's population,
Starting point is 02:05:59 uh, of them just decided to show up. And they really seem to take a shining to my mom's house, particularly her deck and her roof. They just hang out and have fun. They spent the last week knocking over plants and law ornaments and leaving claw marks on the deck and defecating all over the roof.
Starting point is 02:06:17 Do we need these guys? I don't know. I mean, if we've survived with only 200 of them left, there's no way we need them. They're like a 14-foot wingspan and they're just wrecking this poor woman's deck and roof. If it's that big of a bird, then we should keep it. That's pretty cool. We're running out of really big animals.
Starting point is 02:06:34 A pack of teenaged condors figured out that my mom's house is situated at a sweet spot. Her mom's an animal lover and enjoys watching the condors fly overhead and would never harm them once a day she has to hose the condors off a roof but they come back the next day um oh the bird droppings have a powerful stench it's basically like cement i have to get someone to come in and power wash and scrub it off but she's waiting for them to leave because she doesn't want to have to have it cleaned repeatedly so yeah they're just wrecking her house i thought it was funny that these condors were like fuck this woman in particular yeah they're just eating dead animals like dead rotting carcasses and then shitting that vile nonsense onto this woman's porch but you know what it's her porch and she doesn't seem bothered by it whatsoever why doesn't she like kill the condors
Starting point is 02:07:24 are they like protected species? There's only 200 left in the world and 20 of them are at her house. Am I the only one who just wouldn't give a fuck and would kill those condors and not tell anybody? You'd go back to jail. I wouldn't tell anybody about the condor killing. Okay, well then you'd probably be okay.
Starting point is 02:07:39 Actually, you'd have to go throw them off a cliff because they're all tagged. They'd be like, hey, 10 of them haven't moved. 10 of them stopped moving in this guy's furnace. What's so weird? We had a similar issue. But they weren't condors. They were chimney sweeps, the opposite size of the coolness and size spectrum.
Starting point is 02:07:56 But apparently chimney sweeps are like a thing. I don't know if they're endangered or what because we had i don't want to exaggerate but like 400 swift maybe it's i said sweet but i think it's swift and we had maybe 400 of them living in my chimney and we just moved into this house and jackie's like what is the rumbling coming from the chimney and i'm like once again you're insane you always think there's something wrong with the house once again what other noises does she hear every time
Starting point is 02:08:32 there's like a crack in the drywall I keep hearing someone speak latin in the closet I was right about the porch bear it's like ah lucky guess about the porch bear what about the pool lizard i told you about the there's a closet demon i told you about that's not every time there's like a crack in a drywall
Starting point is 02:08:54 or you know like you know where like you put there's two pieces of drywall there's tape you put the mud over it that drywall mud and sometimes it cracks if it's thin or something or too thick and it's like this is just normal house settling chillax we're not like built on a if it's thin or something or too thick. And it's like, this is just normal house settling chillax. We're not like built on a swamp. It's fine. We're built on top of like a hill made out of granite. Anyway. So she hears the,
Starting point is 02:09:13 the chimney rough, like rustling, vibrating. And, uh, she's like, yeah, you know,
Starting point is 02:09:20 there's, there's, there's something happening there. And I tell her that she's insane, that it's like, I have to do enough of this. You stress over this house and it's fine and uh then i start hearing it and i'm like was that it was that it and i think it's like the wind blowing over the top of the chimney and causing it like like you blow over the top you blow over a bottle or pen or yeah yeah
Starting point is 02:09:41 like a pen cap like that that bottle's better because it has the same sort of tone that we're hearing. This whoo-hoo. And it turns out that that is the sound of 400 birds. Thanks. Flying out of your chimney. It's a little like that. But like flappier. And so there's – and then the odor comes from the chimney.
Starting point is 02:10:05 Now, I guess these guys are seasonal. So it's not like it was there when we bought the house or anything, but like it shows up and it smells like urine in our chimney. And it's like, oh, fuck. So I call an exterminator or something. And that was the wrong move. He's like, you have to keep those birds for this long. Like I can't come, like Now that you've told me,
Starting point is 02:10:26 I felt like I was on a register of some sort for these birds. And it's like, fuck, you know, we've got this bird problem. And... And I ask a question. Yeah. You're in your fireplace, right?
Starting point is 02:10:42 Right. Why not? Why not, you know, use your fireplace? right right why not use your fireplace as intended I had to solve this problem in the amount of time it takes to start a fire I had that idea
Starting point is 02:10:59 I guarantee they wouldn't like that a bit I could I gave them a little time to leave, like a couple of weeks. You're too gracious. Well, you don't know the end of the story. This is the same thing that happened with the contractor. If you'd set the contractor's trailer on fire, problem solved. Fire is almost always the answer to these sort of things.
Starting point is 02:11:22 Well, I waited for them to leave, and then I capped the chimney. And that solved most of the problems. Most of the birds were gone. And then the fire, which might have been like, in hindsight, I should have gone in the other direction, right? Because what turned into a scare them away was more of an alchewitz kind of solution so you you put a cap on it and then you turn the fire on and you just hear like trying to get now the chimney smells like in my defense there were only babies left in the chimney so they made it. They have a terrible track record.
Starting point is 02:12:06 Yeah. So that is a thing. And I guess, you know, they just sort of settled themselves. We took a broomstick and got all the things at the bottom that we could and just heated it up. And now the chimney's fine. And it's capped
Starting point is 02:12:22 so they can't come back. I'd have started that fire immediately. I think that was the way to go. And it's capped, so they can't come back. I'd have started that fire immediately. I think that was the way to go. It would have been fun, too. It was a propane fire. I could have got it done. And the best part is, I'd have gone an extra step.
Starting point is 02:12:33 I'd have filled the chimney with propane gas for a while and then lit it and then been outside to watch the fireball and the little mushroom cloud that would come out. Oh, that would have been spectacular. Would have been lunch. Would have been lunch.
Starting point is 02:12:49 I don't know what chimney sweeps taste like, but I mean. One way to find out. Only one way to find out. They're a North Carolina delicacy. Yeah, I don't want to protect any sort of fucking protected critters in my house. They're going to need protection. They're going down. I'm not telling anybody.
Starting point is 02:13:07 Wiping them out. Oh, these termites are the protected kind. I don't fucking care. Get out of here. They're endangered. Good. You have no idea. I've told the story of my buddy who had the bats before.
Starting point is 02:13:20 And fast forward, bats in his chimney. He calls people. They put them on a list. Now he can't get rid of the bats. He has to house the bats until they choose to leave. Now he's a bat keeper. Yeah. Everything in his attic needs to be thrown away.
Starting point is 02:13:36 He and his family need to be vaccinated. I guess when you get, like, bat rabies or something, the chances of this are too high to fuck with. By the time you show symptoms, you're dead. You can get treated for it, but you can't wait for symptoms to see if you have it. Then you're dead. So he and his family all needed to be treated for rabies, which cost $6,000 for each member of his family of six. He has four children. He could have bought an F-150.
Starting point is 02:14:10 I'm going to bring that up to him. He could have bought a sound generator for $100 and driven him out of the acoustic. Yeah, he would still need the rabies treatment. A shotgun and a bunch of shells and handled it in the afternoon. A shotgun, yeah. It absolutely sucked. And then I it in the afternoon. It absolutely sucked. And then I guess in the fall
Starting point is 02:14:27 they left on their own and he was able to put up barriers so they don't come back and throw away everything because they just they went like California Condor on all his belongings. Yeah, that's ridiculous with the protected shit. Like I, you know, I hunted a lot and I wouldn't poach things
Starting point is 02:14:44 but like every now and then, something would just accidentally happen. I shot a banded pigeon down one time. And it's like, do you think we should go tell somebody about this? Fuck no. We're going to throw him in the bushes. We're going to throw him in the bushes. What, do you want to have a bird funeral? Right.
Starting point is 02:14:57 I could see doing that too. You don't know what it is at a distance. Pigeons and doves look a lot alike to a kid. I was like 12. I'm blasting. They look a lot alike to someone pushing 50 as well it could be a california condor for all i know i can't read that far now i was on a dove field one time you know opening day of dove season and this jackass shot a hawk down and uh and they look nothing like like we all saw the hawk coming and we're all like look a hawk because like a hawk does not look like a dove a hawk looks like a fucking hawk
Starting point is 02:15:31 and uh and and this one fucking jackass and he wasn't even a good shot but this was like his one in a million fucking shot and he just folded this fucking hawk in half and it just right in the middle of the field and they're all standing there like trying to figure out like you shot it no i didn't you shot it he's like i didn't shoot you shot it and we're all like we all saw you shoot it and then this one guy who's got some common fucking sense like rides up on an atv he's like who fucking cares who shot it fellers we gotta hide the body i like that guy i'm on team that guy that's exactly how he sounds too he's a good old fella i know him real well and uh and then he went and hid the body real quickly and like not even 10 minutes later a game warden shows up just to like check licenses and everything so it's a good thing that he wasn't there when this guy fucking blew a hawk out of the goddamn sky.
Starting point is 02:16:29 Because they're federally fucking protected. You don't shoot hawks. Well, it's not like he'd spend two months in jail. I don't know what they do to you for shooting a hawk, but it probably involves a hefty fine. And oftentimes when you do something like poaching related or like you shoot the wrong thing or do it in the wrong way, like they'll take everything that you used in the commission of that crime um so like if you like spotlight deer from the side of the road like put a spotlight on them and shoot them at night they'll not only like find you and potentially give you like community service or even a little bit of jail time they'll take your pickup truck and your gun that you used in the commission of that crime there should be insurance for that
Starting point is 02:17:07 the guy was insurance it was stolen by the raleigh pd coaching insurance yeah i don't know but but but but yeah uh and a lot of people have gotten that before i know a guy um who pulled a gun on a game warden one time he went to prison pulled a gun what was game warden one time. He went to prison. What was he thinking? He wasn't thinking. He was a fucking idiot. What was the situation? Game warden caught him and my cousin hunting and I think that they didn't have hunting licenses
Starting point is 02:17:36 which isn't a huge deal. That's like a fine, isn't it? It's like a fine. My cousin is of course like well I guess it's time to pay a fine. And this other guy is like, guess it's time for someone to die. And, like, pulls a gun on the game warden. And the game warden, like, jumps back in his car and
Starting point is 02:17:51 grabs his AR-15. So now they're in a standoff. And my cousin's just, like, hiding on the ground. I'll pay the fine! So they arrest the other guy, long story short. And he went back to prison. The key word being back. Because he had spent, like, a lifetime in and out of okay the key word being back because he had spent like a lifetime in and out of juvenile detention centers and uh in real prison because he had stabbed so
Starting point is 02:18:10 many people he is likes to stab people guy he kept the steak knife on the odometer of his truck so that he could stab people with it he liked stabbing people he used a steak knife yeah yeah well i mean he had one on his odometer like like right out of the kitchen used a steak knife? Yeah, yeah. He had one on his odometer right out of the kitchen. Like a steak knife. Like you would cut your steak for dinner. Okay. I've never stabbed anyone, and I assume none of us have. Oh, you can't imagine.
Starting point is 02:18:36 But don't you think you'd like it? No, no. I don't want to hurt somebody like that. No, me either. There's got to be a conversation. I stabbed a pig. Yeah, true. I did fight that wild boar.
Starting point is 02:18:51 Actually, yeah, I'm on Team Woody now. It is fun stabbing stuff. You like stabbing the pig, though, not a person. Oh, come on, Taylor. Aren't there people you want to stab? Are you imagining you're attacked? Sorry, go ahead, James. What did you stab it with?
Starting point is 02:19:04 What kind of knife? Like, not even the right kind of knife. Like, so we were hunting wild boar in Houston, and we had this writ from the sheriff's department that said we could hunt them within city limits. I needed that. I needed that for sure, a nice little tomahawk. But I had shot it in the ass with three and a blackout.
Starting point is 02:19:23 Oh, yeah, that would have done the fucking trick because all i had was a big ass pocket knife but it was uh i'd slowed it down with uh with a shot of uh 300 blackout so he couldn't get away and uh then like i wanted to film my my cousin fighting it with a knife because it was like a 250 pound like russian boar and uh and he's like goes at it with a knife and it sort of like runs at him and does this scare tactic maneuver. It's like, don't fuck with me kind of thing. And he's like, fuck this.
Starting point is 02:19:49 So I'm like, all right, give me the knife. I'm going to fight it. So I went and fought it with a knife and killed it with a knife. I'm going to fight it. I'm going to fight the boar, man. I'm going to fight it. That's exactly what happened. Please tell me you weren't sober when you did that.
Starting point is 02:20:01 I was very sober. I was very sober when I did that. sober when you did that i was very sober i was very sober when i did that um some some weed would have helped though because it bit my inner thigh and like made this blood blister like and i'm lucky it didn't like hook me with its tusks because that's what it was trying to do it could have like ripped my femoral artery out and killed me out there in that fucking field in texas for 250 pound boar ain't that that's not a joke i thought i got on its back i got on its back and like it was it was back and it was tall enough that my feet were still barely touching the ground
Starting point is 02:20:28 when I'm on its back. It was huge. It's a powerful animal too. I cut its throat. Yeah, of course you did. It was a lot of fun. Then you got to eat it, right? Or someone ate it.
Starting point is 02:20:42 We left it in that field of rot where the rest of them were shot. That's what they do out there. It's about parasites or something, they said. But I don't know. We were just there to exterminate them. Well, yeah, you don't want to fuck around if there's a parasite thing.
Starting point is 02:20:53 I don't know. Not my business. I cut the ear off, though. We had that bag of ears. You make a necklace of them? We did make a necklace of them. It's in the video. Nice.
Starting point is 02:21:00 You didn't grab the tusk? You didn't grab the tusk off? Cut the ears off. Cut the ears off because we'd watched too much Rambo. We were trying to make a stupid video. So at the end of the video, he's wearing an ear necklace. Were you taking both of the ears
Starting point is 02:21:16 from every pig? Just one. We weren't cheating. You know what? I respect that. One ear from each one. We didn't want to cheat. Those are all right ears he's legit man i thought he was gonna fool me but those are all right ears i know a hog's ear better than i know you had to beat my wife
Starting point is 02:21:35 but no i don't want to stab anybody that would be all i do what i what the thing i want less than stabbing someone is to be stabbed though what you hate to get stabbed i didn't no one would like sliced slices sliced is worse sliced is worse i feel like if you were to stab me a doctor could probably let's assume it's repairable right oh you're in for surgery you're in for whatever three weeks of healing and then it's a story that you tell. If you slice me up, I am permanently maimed. Slice up like where? What do you mean? Just across the belly or something?
Starting point is 02:22:10 You know, like six random big cuts across my front. Yeah, that's true. My father stabbed me when I was 12. With what? With a steak knife, actually. How did you provoke your father? How are you bad? Why do you think I...
Starting point is 02:22:25 I've known you for two hours and 20 minutes now. It's a good guess. Were you not talking into your microphone? My uncle had just gotten out of prison. He'd been in prison for 20 years. Your father's showing off. Trying to look cool. Remember Cheston the Molester, the cartoon character?
Starting point is 02:22:46 Sure. My Uncle Bobby looked like Chester the Molester. I was like 12. And my father hadn't come to the house. I was like, you know. Him and my father went out over the hill. We're in Massachusetts. So I went to New York State to buy some beer.
Starting point is 02:23:02 They got drunk. I took the family car. Bobby comes back. I'm waiting to go to Little League practice. Uncle Bobby's in the car. He hasn't driven in 20 years. Both drunk as shit. They smashed the car into a tree in front of our house. So now I'm not
Starting point is 02:23:15 going to baseball practice. I'm shitty about it. We're at dinner and my Uncle Bobby had a stutter. He talked like, hey, hey, hey, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim. I'm 12 and I'm a smartass. And my sister's got big knockers, right? And Bobby, hey, hey, hey, can I date Karen?
Starting point is 02:23:33 And I'm like, my father, they're just hammered. And I started fucking with my Uncle Bobby. Hey, Bobby, hey, Bobby, Bobby. Hey, Bobby, hey, Bobby, Bobby. And my father just cut it out. And my father just, cut it out. My father, my mother used to keep this tree of cups, coffee cups in the middle. And one of those steak knife holders in the carousel.
Starting point is 02:24:04 My father gets up, comes over the table, and he swipes at the cups. And I grab them and I fucking throw it at him. my father and I pop him right in the head my father grabs a steak knife and he comes it launches across the table and I jump up me right there enough right in the oblique right and the fucking things like wiggling right and I'm fucking pushing I hit my father with a glass with a cup Jesus Christ here and that was yeah took off and I had a fort. I hit my father with a glass with a cup. Jesus Christ. I'm out of here. And that was it. I took off, man.
Starting point is 02:24:27 I had a fort down by the river where I lived. Went there for three days, man. I wasn't hanging out talking to anybody. I just ran away. My takeaway from that story, you owe me an apology. I knew it was you. I knew you did something.
Starting point is 02:24:40 You antagonized the stutterer. It couldn't have gone in very deep if you were able to hang out for three days. Well, what happened was it was about maybe an inch and a half, but it's right here. He caught me right, and it got under the skin. So it hit the oblique and bounced off my hip muscle and got caught in the flesh, right? But it was in pretty deep, and I couldn't. It was like wiggling, so I ran.
Starting point is 02:25:03 I went down to the fort, and I was trying to get it out, but it was in pretty deep and I couldn't there's like wiggling so I ran I went down to the fort I was trying to get it out but it was serrated so and I was like ah I kind of it's like I kind of had it out and I had I got kind of fishing gear fishing hooks and nylon wire so I kind of like look it like it's like the hook and I kind of knocked the clip on the barb off and I kind of, like, four stitches in there. None of this happened. You're calling bullshit on this, Kyle? None of this happened. How old were you when you Rambo-style sewed your stomach together?
Starting point is 02:25:40 Look, I'm from a rural place, right? There's a group of rivers. I don't know what that's like at all. This is commonplace where I'm from. A lot of drunk people, like getting cut. You get cut, you get your head split open. I got kicked in the face with a hockey skate right there, and it split my face open.
Starting point is 02:25:59 My coach took some white tape, wrapped it around my head, and put me, I didn't miss a shift that was me at nine or ten years old so by the time this happened i got cut i got beat up all the time and my father was just a nightmare do you have a good relationship with your dad now or he's dead i don't know if he's alive or not i'll get your dad too much drinking and swinging knives around did uh anything like that happen again? No, no, no. I was like, I don't, I didn't go back home for like a week. Kind of like sitting in the fort in my grandfather's house,
Starting point is 02:26:35 and then Uncle Bobby went away. And, you know, we just kind of, we weren't a family that talked about shit. It's like I just kind of came home one day, and he's sitting there. He's always at work and he's at the factory or at the bar or in jail or something. So I come home, I avoid him. I think I avoid him for like a month.
Starting point is 02:26:53 I had my eye contact. Fine. I need a ride to practice. All right, get in the car. So that's kind of how it was. I sat there and didn't see him. I probably didn't talk to him for the rest of my life. Was your dad in and out of jail, you said?
Starting point is 02:27:07 Yeah, yeah. He had issues. What did he go in for? I mean, violent stuff, it sounds like? He had bar fights. He was, he's got a lot of, you know, angry guy, bar fights, petty criminal. He stole some shit. But we were lucky because it's a small town so
Starting point is 02:27:26 you go in and the uh some of the people i know were law enforcement or judiciary so they kind of had help and then a lot of times they just put him in a nut house they would they take him over and put him in a place called jones which is a psychiatric ward at the local hospital so he spent a lot of time in there you know reagan got rid of those didn't he all those psych wards wasn't that a big thing that he turned them loose put them out on the street yeah and then like a lot of them ended or just like put them in print maybe that's an exaggeration maybe it was like he's releasing these insane people and then they go out in the world and they commit crimes or they're homeless and like you know do something transient or
Starting point is 02:28:04 illegal and then they're thrown into prison with like real criminals. And it's just like someone who had a, you know, paranoid schizophrenia. Did you ever hear about that, Woody? Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 02:28:12 This is, as far as I know, that's all right. Yeah. Cause like, are they back now? Like they don't really, I don't think so.
Starting point is 02:28:20 I don't think it's ever been undone. No. That's what homeless are oftentimes, you know, people. I was just downtown last week. I don't think there are mental. I don't think that's ever been undone. No. That's what homeless are oftentimes. For sure. I was just downtown last week. I'm making a music video, and I went down to shoot some video down there. And, you know, again, I spent some time with my father. You know, he exposed me to this type of psychosis, really.
Starting point is 02:28:40 And it's very recognizable that the gates, the way you walk, the way you carry yourself, all the indicators are, you know, 99% of the people I saw downtown, and I saw hundreds, I mean, it's a, downtown LA has blocks and blocks of tent buildings, and the gate, the walk, you can tell the, some are on medications. There's no reality. There's thousands of them down there. And those are the individuals that should be sort of being helped in an institution someplace, but they don't exist. We have an old prison that could easily be transitioned into some type of facility to help these folks, but we don't have the political will to say, at you know let's put them in there get them help get them to treatment but we don't want to but it's about their dignity they they're you don't want to infringe on their dignity well you live in a
Starting point is 02:29:35 fucking street where's the dignity in that yeah yeah there's i mean a lot of it very few people that i believe on the street that i've run into are there because they want to be or because they have a choice not to be. Or even if they are making that choice, they're not capable of making that choice, really. Exactly. Yeah, when I was in Seattle, that's the worst I've ever, I mean, I've seen the tent villages in LA and it's awful. But there was something about seeing them in Seattle where where like we went down by i don't know if it's called the wharf or whatever but it's like down by the water where all the like there's a carousel and like it's where all those seafood restaurants are it's a real nice little trendy
Starting point is 02:30:14 area and we all went down there for dinner and then we started walking back to the hotel it's maybe half a mile walk like everything's uphill in seattle for some reason and like we just walk through this area and there they are they're just coming out of the shadows like a michael jackson thriller video just like 80 90 of them just like what and i don't know if it was like methadone night or like they were all heading toward the same place for some reason or another but it was ridiculous and then the same thing in atlanta whenever i picked uh chiz up from the bus uh station that time they were uh they were having like they had the food truck out there that was giving away like the same thing in Atlanta, whenever I picked a Chiz up from the bus station that time,
Starting point is 02:30:49 they were, uh, they were having like, they had the food truck out there that was giving away like the meals for, uh, for all the homeless, these, you know, styrofoam plate meals. And there must've been between 50 and a hundred of them like lined up getting these meals. And then you could see them like they get the meal and it was probably like a sandwich and some chips and an apple or something like that, because, like, they'd eat it rapidly and then throw the fucking styrofoam plate on the ground. And so you just saw them, like, tumbling in the wind every fucking where all throughout, like, that park area. It was absurd. Super fucked up.
Starting point is 02:31:19 That's where, like, Chiz got off the bus or train or whatever the fuck it was, whatever mode of transportation for the 1800s he picked that week. Horse and carriage. He got off the bus or train or whatever the fuck it was whatever mode of transportation for the 1800s he picked that week. He got off the fucking carriage and immediately got propositions for weed. He's like, I just had stepped foot into the state of Georgia
Starting point is 02:31:38 and this guy was like, yo, you want some weed? I guess so. I mean, yeah, I guess. Am I mean, yeah. I guess. I'm not going to say no. I took the bus so I could bring my own, bud. You guys hip to Kathleen Madigan? Comedian?
Starting point is 02:32:01 I've heard the name, but I couldn't put her name to a face. Yeah, I'm not that she has a whole thing she does on homeless people it's funny alright go ahead I don't know I just think I don't like the homeless I think we should do something not with them but to them you know we
Starting point is 02:32:20 with all these professional sports just it seems like every single professional sport, of the four major ones here, all the ratings are going down. People are losing interest. Create a new one where the homeless people are fodder? A new sport with the homeless. No, no, they're not fodder.
Starting point is 02:32:36 They're paid, I won't say well, but better than homeless. You know, like, give them, pay them $15 an hour, and then you just, they're paid a non zero sum of money to do a non zero sum of money. And it starts out with just like making a mirror league to the NFL. And it's the HFL, the homeless football league. And it'd be like the recently homeless football,
Starting point is 02:33:01 you know, they'd have to do some marketing, punch it up, you know, show like, we got a fucking, we got a storage container. They all live in now. They love it. So what you're saying is the bum fights guy was a hero ahead of his time absolutely well he was he was a little well you know what i will i'll i like it because bum fights was entertaining as hell but i think it's
Starting point is 02:33:17 a little that kyle used kyle's word gauche at this point it's overdone bum fights has been done are we going to double dip in that no no no we don't go back to that we have millions of homeless people to utilize we don't go to one-on-one fighting we can do we could we could do war reenactments with them all sorts of things you guys are triggering me left and right here okay i was like i was 14 i'm riding home my bicycle i get this fucking horrible feeling in the pit of my stomach right i drive up there's this little bar by my house called carnews and i just had this you know it's just forced yeah going home always sucked and i just had this bad feeling of course i'm driving by carnews and there's this big crowd out in the parking lot i just oh no i drive up there's my father and having a fight with this old old drunk a guy like in his 60s, right? This big old dude.
Starting point is 02:34:05 And my father's losing, all right? So it's like I'm watching. And the worst thing is, back in the day, getting T-shirts that had school names on was a big deal. We had played at Hotchkiss Prep School. And I got it. I stole this great T-shirt, Hotchkiss Prep on it, right? And it's my favorite T-shirt.
Starting point is 02:34:23 My father's wearing it. And it's torn. and it's my favorite t-shirt my father's wearing it and it's torn and it's bloody and i go up and i'm standing there like everything go your father's getting your ass his ass kicked i go go ahead fred have a good night man jesus christ so he ruined your shirt and he probably took it out on you a little bit later because you probably went in fights by that time i could kick his ass so it stopped. Did you struggle in school?
Starting point is 02:34:48 I was good in school. You were good in school. A lot of times, kids who have trouble at home have trouble outside the home too. I was hell-bent on getting out of there. I wasn't going to use any mode necessary. Education was the...
Starting point is 02:35:04 I got a scholarship to go to a local parochial school. Athletic or academic? Okay. And the academics were great. And it also got me out of the public school, which is a lot, and a lot of distractions. There's a lot of racial divide, a lot of problems. I was always dodging, the black kids always dodging. I had a target on my back. So going to this private school, I wasn't living there, but going other side, it gave me an opportunity to actually not be in that world anymore. I just wish I learned how to type, though. There's one thing I wish I really took an advantage of. Learning how to type. i remember my grandpa who's
Starting point is 02:35:45 you know in his late 70s now he talks about like doing class where he's like i'm the shit and he was a farmer and you know trucker that kind of guy and was like shit i remember they were trying to get us they told us these top riders are fuck they said they're like the way of the future and i was like there ain't no way in hell i'm learning this bullshit this is for the girls they'll do it and then like he'll even say he's like i wish i took it serious some you know he's probably at the time he's like i'm 68 and i can't top worth a lick and like he's still like hunting and pecking or like dictating to people i've said before he for it wasn't until 2019 that he started texting his only text up to 2019 was my grandma texting him and saying like hey do you mind if we have company
Starting point is 02:36:26 over tonight and he just said no like don't that was it no I took it the other way do you mind no I'm sorry he said can we have company over tonight no and she's like and I was kind of proud of him I didn't think he knew how to text I was expecting him to call me
Starting point is 02:36:41 dude when I was young so I went to college in like the early first half. Well, I started college the first half of the 90s. And there was like debate over whether or not computer skills were good, right? Because there was an argument that it would pigeonhole you into a worker position. And if your aspirations were like management and senior management then those are not typing positions like that was the thought process they saw it was like you'd be walking around dictating to someone sure sure that's probably around that same time where that there was that like life um article
Starting point is 02:37:15 about computers being a fad or something like that though right the internet the internet was going to be this fad that would just like come and go that's that's an idiot economist like paul krugman who's wrong about everything where he was like, by the time 2003 rolls around, the internet will have had no more impact on the economy than a fax machine. It's like, this guy's still allowed to give opinions about the economy.
Starting point is 02:37:36 First of all, the fax machine had a huge impact on the economy that can't be overlooked. But the internet, of course, is just I mean, what compares to the internet? The fucking industrialization? A lot of early internet stuff was chat rooms. And it was chat rooms and like company billboards. It was the equivalent of like a glossy pamphlet they'd hand out.
Starting point is 02:37:58 You know, five or six pages for Coca-Cola that explains why you drink soda or something. I don't know. And chat rooms was, to me, early internet. And there was legit debate over whether this was the next CB radio. CB radio, I'm told, in the 70s was this hip thing, everyone talking to each other, and then it just kind of faded away. Did you ever have one? Like, fuck around on?
Starting point is 02:38:22 I have one in the Tacoma. Yeah, i wanted one really bad as a kid for some reason i was fascinated with like walkie talkies i thought i thought the science of being able to like talk to a guy you know that wasn't in front of me was really cool obviously we had telephones but this is the thing you carry in your pocket and this is pre-cell phone so like i loved walkie talkies i always wanted a new set for christmas and uh and then finally i learned about cb radios and i was like i want a legit cb radio my dad got me one that had like this huge antenna like i don't know i don't want to exaggerate how big the antenna was but it was
Starting point is 02:38:56 like it had that magnetic base so you could stick it on the roof of your truck and like maybe eight feet of antenna and so like i don't know what the range was, but at least 20 miles, something like that. Because we could sit at my house, and I could talk to guys who were on the interstate system, which we lived near, and just fuck with truckers. Just be an asshole kid. Breaker breaker one nine.
Starting point is 02:39:19 Breaker breaker one nine. Or you'd hear some lady talking to a guy, like having a private conversation. Like it was like hey how you doing tonight and he's like i'm just sitting down on my easy chair about to have a beer and that the dog's here just looking at the moon thinking about you and she's like oh that's so sweet i come on there i come on there like making fart noises or whatever like on their channel they're like what was that i don't know was that not on your end and i'm just like i'm fucking bart simpson over there being an asshole
Starting point is 02:39:51 like 12 year old dude we did so i had a cb radio a handheld one it doesn't sound quite as cool as yours but it was cool and antennas went up like four feet out of a handheld radio and like big thick telescoping antenna and uh mostly i was just a dumb kid with nothing interesting to say so i would ask for radio checks you know i'd be like all right this is a pirate bear could i have a radio check they'd be like coming in five by five it's just the only way i knew how to get people to respond to me i'd ask for radio checks i do it every fucking day 10 times a day i'd ask for radio checks and uh although one time i did what you did which was like to sort of interrupt people's conversations and maybe doubt that somebody was telling the truth like that kind of thing as they're you know talking on the radio and this guy i i don't know what system he had but I think he used my signal strength
Starting point is 02:40:45 to find us and yeah so I keep talking and he's like I'm finding you I'm finding you and I'm like you know how the hell you are you can't find me on a CB radio and then he's like
Starting point is 02:41:00 yeah and then he's like I'm in a tow truck and I'm in front of your house. And he was. It was like this motherfucker. Oh, my God. Now, I wasn't dumb. I'm like 14, so I'm pretty dumb.
Starting point is 02:41:14 But I'm not like a dumb dumb. And it's like he doesn't know which of these houses it is. He just knows that I'm nearby. So we went radio silence there and the thread ended and stuff. But yeah. Getting close, loser. Yeah, but he legit found us in his tow truck.
Starting point is 02:41:32 There's a horror movie that has this premise where they're like messing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, and then like the semi chases him down. Yeah, it's like a guy. Is that Jeepers Creepers?
Starting point is 02:41:44 I don't think it's Jeepers Creepers. No. It's like a guy and a girl on a road trip and they're goofing around on the radio. Oh, I know what it is. I know what it is. I think it might be Jeepers. Anyway, it's like the guy in the semi
Starting point is 02:41:59 is on there and the dude who's driving the car gives the radio to his girlfriend and she's flirting with him. He's just like well i don't i don't i'm not much to look at and and she's like looks don't mean anything to me big bear like like i just like your voice and i can tell that you're a real man a working man and i and then like they do this whole thing where like she's flirting with him and she tells him that she's staying at this motel. And they're at the motel. And then the truck driver actually shows up, goes to the motel room that she told him about, and kills whoever's in there.
Starting point is 02:42:33 Because it's just some dude staying in a motel room. So he's— And he's unrelated to her, the dude. Unrelated to her. And she's just like, yeah, bring a bottle of pink champagne. And he shows up with this bottle of pink champagne. and it's a dude, and he murders him. And then the movie really goes off the rails as it goes on. I can't remember the name of the movie.
Starting point is 02:42:53 I think I just linked it. I think it's called Joyride. Yeah. Yeah. I think that might be it. Yeah. I've seen that movie. It is, you know, it's not great.
Starting point is 02:43:02 It's not good. I'm surprised you remember that much about it. Yeah. The part you got to, or or just describing it doesn't get any better it's that over and over and then i think in the end like like there are a lot of opportunities for the smaller car to escape from the semi of course because it's faster and it's a semi conceivable way yeah yeah it's not even just a regular semi i think for a lot for most of the movie he's like pulling a load yeah yeah he's seeing them at 58 oh jim beaver is in this uh he's the guy from um um what's the movie the two brothers who fight fucking crime and fight fucking vampires and shit um vampires supernatural supernatural yeah i couldn't think of it for a second he's the he's uh he's in he's in that he's in a lot of western stuff
Starting point is 02:43:50 i think i saw this on june 9th what does loki oh very cool yeah i i know someone who's a stunt double in that movie yeah do you yeah do you know who's stunt double he is i don't know exactly um actually i do know exactly i'll tell you later um i just don't want to say uh uh here um but uh but yeah it's um i'm excited but i think it's gonna be the best of the marvel tv shows they've been getting better as we've went um because i i wasn't crazy about the wandavision i really liked um the falcon and winter soldier i think i think it got better as it went on uh even though those are two of the weaker characters uh in the i think once they got more into like the wider universe at play and and got away from the flag smashers which is the the stupidest name for a group of people.
Starting point is 02:44:46 We're the Flag Smashers. All right, who came up with the name? Me. It's the stupidest fucking name ever. The Flag Smashers? Yeah, I think the premise was during the five years that Thanos had removed half the population, kind of all the countries ended
Starting point is 02:45:01 and they got unified and just, you know, whatever. And then when the people came back, they're like, Oh, okay, let's just do it. Like we did five years ago. Yeah.
Starting point is 02:45:08 There's a group of people who felt like the United way was better. So yeah, well they had this situation where like, obviously like in like Eastern Europe, for example, like you lose half the population in the United States. There's probably enough people to like fill a lot of those working jobs, like,
Starting point is 02:45:23 like who will come in and like do them. But over it's like the the estonia is just fucked like there's not enough people to work the factories and stuff so you had all these people who would be later deemed as refugees who came in to work those jobs but when the old workers come back now they want their jobs back so these these people who have come into the country Quasi legally it's like get out of here we don't need you anymore and and it caused a lot of a lot of a lot of a Lot of issues that you don't want to see in a Marvel movie because you just want to see superheroes fighting each other I don't know. I think the world disagrees with us. I think WandaVision got was more popular than Captain America that yeah, I think it's because women make up 50% of the viewing audience,
Starting point is 02:46:08 and a lot of chicks like those shows. I was talking to a girl the other day, and she was like, yeah, I like Handmaiden's Tale and The Flash, and Law & Order SVU, and she named five chick shows. And I'm like, yeah, I don't watch any of that shit. Those shows are made for women. Wait until September comes and all the new shows are coming out of LA. Most of it's going to be gender-driven for females.
Starting point is 02:46:35 You think so? Well, I get the breakdowns every day, so I see what's being cast out there and what roles I'm being put up for. Trends are obvious when you look for them. So most of the content is political climate is swinging. Hollywood, I believe, dictates culture. I believe that we, you know, that's why people love and hate Hollywood at the same time because, you know, it kind of dictates, you know, commercials dictate what we buy.
Starting point is 02:47:06 And a lot of the programming comes out really informs the nation. They set the political climate. It informs your perception, yeah. Yeah, I get that for sure. And I see that. It's like, I'm a huge Star Trek fan. I have been since I was five years old.
Starting point is 02:47:23 I can remember being five years old and watching the original Star Trek with my dad like sitting on the living room floor and like I that carried on throughout my entire life like even now I go back and watch the next generation and all the movies and stuff but like this new Star Trek is it's like I don't think there's a straight white man in the show I don't think that's allowed anymore I I really don't think so and it's it's like or if he is he'll be the bad guy I think if somebody heard me say that they would think that's allowed anymore. I really don't think so. And it's, it's like, or if he is, he'll be the bad guy. I think if somebody heard me say that, they would think that's an ignorant thing for me to say, but it's like, why can't I be represented in a show? Like, like, isn't that what everyone's
Starting point is 02:47:54 always saying? Like, I want to, I want someone who represents me in the show. It's like, okay, I get that a hundred percent, but like, why can't I have somebody who represents me in the show too? Like, like I'm not saying Jean-Luc Picard represents me, this 50-year-old intellectual, but still, at least he's a straight white dude. And he doesn't have to be the captain. The captain doesn't have to be a straight white dude, but why can't the guy who flies the ship be one? Or why can't the transporter guy be one?
Starting point is 02:48:18 Everybody is either trans or gay or, I don't know. Is this Star Trek you're talking about? Yeah one yeah yeah what's it called i'm trying to find it's called star it's called star trek um the new one discovery yeah star trek discovery like all the characters are um they're i'm unaware of any straight white men who are not like who are main characters who aren't villains yeah i mean I mean, that's not that surprising. I watch a lot of right news, mostly Fox, and I see them fuss about this kind of thing. And oftentimes I push back and be like,
Starting point is 02:48:53 you know, in my little bubble, I'm not seeing any of this. Or the little bits I see are so minor, it's not worth fussing about. And then every now and then, like, they're right. Like, every now and then it's like, ah, yeah, this was too far. I hear them complain about the woke military a lot. And then I saw a Go Army ad today.
Starting point is 02:49:11 Have you seen that? The girl? Yeah. It starts off, there's this girl. And she's like, yeah, you know, I was a little kid. I had two moms. And I heard it. And I'm like, that's going to piss some people off.
Starting point is 02:49:24 But, you know, fuck them. I don't really care if you piss off jerks. And then the whole ad is about how wonderful it is to have two moms, how she was so blessed to have lesbian parents and her lesbian mom showed such strength and power that she felt obligated to give back for the great upbringing she had by joining the army. And it's like's like why you really drilled the mom thing hard like it I think the end goal is for it to be like an unimportant detail of her childhood okay look at this not the central focus that she's owes for look at the go army thing the banner there they say the calling first of all just like awesome
Starting point is 02:50:04 propaganda to get you into the army and then like the group of people they have Up there looks like you remember the Burger Kings Club. Did you look like this like ratio? Oh, I haven't I just went to the page. I haven't clicked on any of the videos yet click on the Emma the calling Ema all right. I'm on it. It's 947 up 40,000 down. Oh, they turned the comments off. Why? Raised by two loving and inspiring mothers,
Starting point is 02:50:30 Emick excelled in school, but as a college student, she realized the challenge she truly sought required a surprising new direction. See how our soldiers' lives could inspire your own. Guys, the Army is totally progressive. It's progressive to join the Army and go fight overseas for interests that don't involve you. It's progressive. I think maybe I'm a little for interests that don't involve you. It's progressive.
Starting point is 02:50:45 I think maybe I'm a little more like I'll call woke tolerant than average, right? I am too. I think I am too. Yeah. And I, you know, whenever I hear people fussing about woke, it's like, oh, shut up. You're just trying to be an asshole. This one, I feel like they're right. You know, this isn't what an army ad should be.
Starting point is 02:51:06 Like, I mean, we know people in the military. Did the army be advertising? I saw, I think it was on Twitter today, somebody juxtaposed that against a Russian ad for their military. Okay. Yeah, so it's just, let me look it up. I got to find it. I imagine it's like it was it was like
Starting point is 02:51:26 these jack to kill real people jack you know just russian toffee guys in ice water you know running through the snow nick you know there's and then you show this little girl it was you know it's it's unfair comparison but you can see how you can use that i found it yeah that's it yeah that's literally what I'm watching right now. So far, I'm only 20 seconds in, but so far this commercial for... China appears to be very serious about the military based on this commercial.
Starting point is 02:51:52 Yeah, it's called, if anyone wants to watch it, it's Army Recruitment Ads, China versus Russia versus the USA. I'm on the China one right now. It's all like discipline, honor, service. Like it's all just fucking hardcore dudes standing still fucking saluting wearing their fucking gear and then someone speaking in a very monotone kind of voice in chinese and like and and like now we're transitioning to like the other branches like
Starting point is 02:52:18 they're showing rockets and computer stations explosions medics uh computer operators operating this big command center missiles artillery it's like saving private power they're blowing shit up shooting rockets from naval vessels shooting crazy shit out of airplanes and helicopters tanks going over the horizon explosions and smoke soldiers running along it looks like a fucking action movie it's like a movie you want to watch two minutes minutes, it gets more hardcore. It switches over to Russians. And it's this guy. If I'm interpreting it right, he goes through his transformation where they shave his head and he becomes a soldier.
Starting point is 02:52:54 It's like a Halo ad. It's like the Halo ad when they're becoming fucking Master Chief. Wait, I'm watching the Russian one right now. This sounds intense. Yeah. He starts off as like back home, right? Got a girlfriend. He starts off as like back home, right? Got a girlfriend. He likes to play soccer.
Starting point is 02:53:06 And he starts off monotonous. And now he wakes up and he's fucking ripped. He's jacked. He's fucking suiting up, belt buckle, pants. Fucking beraced. Now it's a bunch of shaved head dudes fucking cranking out pushups and climbing walls. Are we in trouble? We're in trouble.
Starting point is 02:53:26 He jumps out of a plane that becomes a sniper. I don't know if snipers jump out of planes, but okay. Dude, they look so hardcore. They've all got those dead eyes. Now we're switching over to America. And they speak in Russian, which is scary. He did the walk away and don't look back when he landed in his parachute. He just cuts the parachute like he's fucking Captain America
Starting point is 02:53:46 and keeps going. I'm on like three minutes, nine seconds. There's an overweight woman who needs to lose like 15, 30 pounds. Dude, the Russian one, it looks like it ends with a boy going through. The American soldiers look soft as fucking cotton. They're showing these American soldiers and it looks
Starting point is 02:54:02 they're literally fat women. This woman is not capable of delivering food for Jordan. These are our commercials. There are cartoons in it. There are cartoons in it. Ours are animated like Saturday morning fucking cotton candy. I was going to use a bad word, but... This is lame as fuck.
Starting point is 02:54:20 I don't know if I can... This is so cringe. I can't watch this. Oh my fucking God. I can't watch this oh My fucking god afford to get real explosions really it's a family now. It's a blue-eyed family I can't believe there's a straight man in there which would second timestamp you on oh wait. That's not that's a woman, okay? It's a very good I was wrong. I was wrong. It's a lesbian. I was like oh look at Standard nuclear family big river, and then I realized that's a lesbian. I was like, oh, look, it's a standard nuclear family.
Starting point is 02:54:47 And then I realized that's a very butch woman. Okay. Dude, this is so funny. They're holding love each other. Respect everyone's signs. This is about killing. The Chinese are over. Oh, my God. The Chinese have slow motion of rifles firing at one point. of rifles firing at one point. Like, like... There's a, there's a, there's a guy, there's a YouTube channel, and he was talking about how living in
Starting point is 02:55:09 Shanghai changes the opinion of, of, of America. And he goes, he was reporting that he's, on the bulletin boards, they, they, they announced, we are going to war very soon. We better be prepared, join the military. That is, like like an ongoing that the ads
Starting point is 02:55:26 are very ominous and very dire that they need to prepare for war now and that's he goes that that's terrifying because who are they going to fight against what are they going to what is that they're going to fight against these cotton candy losers that we're watching right now these these fucking doordash employees these overweight women yeah this is this is straight up embarrassing juxtaposed with the chinese and the russia one both the chinese and the russia one it felt like i was about to start watching a movie like the way it starts on the russian guy i don't know i don't know what he's saying but the russian guy just even starting but not in this like it is. How do you do that? You know what he's saying?
Starting point is 02:56:07 He's saying, honor duty service, honor duty service. He's saying some shit like that. And also, I am jacked as hell. And it's like, wow, you are jacked as hell.
Starting point is 02:56:16 And you're throwing yourself over this. And then there's like, there's a lesbian wedding in ours. That doesn't have anything to do with the military. There's a part where the Russian guy, he's having a dream of what he's fighting for, right freedom and and friends right that's what he's dreaming about but he wakes up and he's in the fucking like like like barracks right and he
Starting point is 02:56:35 like sits up in bed shaved head and he's yoked he looks like he's been pounding the fucking iron for three fucking years he's fucking yoked he's like, and there's like a of him like buckling his uniform like boots, buckles, and buttons. Just fucking suited up and now he's in fucking formation. Blue berets on everybody. Getting fucking ready
Starting point is 02:56:57 to do some shit. Everybody's got sniper rifles, parachutes. They've got those dead eyes, like I said. And then you go to this cotton candy, lame-ass shit that we're putting forward to apparently recruit children and women. It shows us that's who we're going to have fight. There's a soldier as a child crying, clutching a teddy bear in a hospital. There ain't no teddy bears in Russia and China.
Starting point is 02:57:16 I guarantee it. Honestly, using this narrative to try and encourage, especially it looks like women and children, into joining the military is tremendously manipulative number one if anything it's more manipulative than one showing explosions and bullets and crawling under barbed wire this is like join the military it's it's woke and it's cool and it's progressive and and the u.s military is you know we've got all the right priorities just like you just like you join the military we have your best interest in mind it's like no you you don't you don't military so yeah that's so shocking all right now to be fair you would put me in charge
Starting point is 02:57:50 of this commercial and said like make this a parody i might have done this like i might have been like what if it's a what if it's a fucking cartoon man that would be so funny yeah we pick a bunch of people i'm hoping that we're that we're just looking at the worst version. Maybe the Army is who's being lame. So I'm looking at the Marines 2020 commercial now. I'm seeing what's the difference. If you remember, the Marines, they used to have where you charge up the mountain, and then you stand there with the sword.
Starting point is 02:58:16 It's a cartoon. What are we doing with the cartoons? The Navy needs to do a parallel one where everyone's gay. There's women. The Navy should do a gay parent, but they're dads. All right, it it's not as hardcore but it's not as soft either it's somewhere in between the battle somewhere in between it's guys remember the guy was guy was uh trying to get up the hill he's battling all these demons he gets to the top of the hill and puts the sword up on a lightning strike remember that that that yeah that inspired me a child, I wondered if you joined the
Starting point is 02:58:45 Marines if you'd get a real sword. That was my number one thought. Do I get the sword? If they're handing swords out willy-nilly, I'm signing up for it. There are easier ways to get swords, but I'm with.
Starting point is 02:59:00 Sword? True. Don't say true. eBay. I guarantee I'll buy a Marine fucking sword right fucking... Well, I can't because I'm not allowed long blades, but... Oh, really? You don't have restrictions?
Starting point is 02:59:15 Not until October when my probation's up. I got to keep my kitchen knives in the fucking kitchen, dude. Marine officers and non-commissioned officers get swords. Oh, well, that's not even worth it. Museum replicas. Okay. I guess you could go to college and then just immediately be a Marine officer and get your sword. That's the way to do it.
Starting point is 02:59:34 Isn't that a ceremonial thing? They have no control over what I... I tell you, they can't control what I'm going to do with my sword. That's stupid to say, right didn't see her course of ceremony general we're taking tremendous losses in the melee that column of pikemen that we sent around to the flank did not make it through.
Starting point is 03:00:07 How are the cavalry doing? Well, terribly. The horses are very afraid of the artillery fire. Oh, are there different swords for NCOs and full-fledged officers? Yeah, I bet they have little things on there, like signets or emblems that denote the rank. But yeah, I wanted the sword too. I don't know's it's a bad look um i hope i hope that we don't have to go to war with with those with someone who's actually capable of fighting a war against us because we haven't done
Starting point is 03:00:35 that since vietnam and we lost um so i'm really hoping that we just keep picking on these little countries for a while yeah keep do it the is, right? Pub stomp the unarmed. We haven't talked about Israel at all because it's such a fucking touchy subject and I don't know enough about it to talk about it, but man, it just seems like they have been massacring people. I think there's a ceasefire right now, but I keep reading that they're blowing up the buildings
Starting point is 03:01:02 where the media is staying and uh and just there's one there's one crazy clip where it's like some palestinian journalist on top of a roof and he's like filming just kind of out and it shows like a preliminary like i guess a targeting strike and it like hits this big like you know 12 story building like nearby and then you just see like like five more shots or whatever and just like the whole like half the building just shorn off and just in Israel's defense I heard a Palestinian mock somebody's
Starting point is 03:01:32 uncle they have some really powerful slingshots over there Palestinians with their powerful slingshots I'm sorry what were you saying but hey but 4,000 rockets coming into Israel. I mean, again, this is impossible to have any type of opinion on
Starting point is 03:01:53 because, number one, what's the source of your information? I don't know what's going on. Yeah, I don't know. I don't know enough to talk about it. The source of our information is largely Israel, right? Yeah, yeah. All I see is like— But CNN, MSNBC, they're going to be biased one way, and then you're going to have counter. know enough to talk about information is largely israel right yeah yeah like all i know but cnn
Starting point is 03:02:05 msnbc they're gonna they're gonna be biased one way and then you're gonna have counter we don't no one knows this was i don't know what's really going on the second thing is if you're what side am i on if if the palestinians stop throwing missiles i'm on their side. Okay, now Israel, stop it. But what do you do? How do you mitigate that? 4,200 rockets in the last week? Okay, how do you handle that? How many casualties? I think it's, isn't it one? Isn't that irrelevant?
Starting point is 03:02:37 Well, I mean, it's not irrelevant if one side is using bullshit. If I start rocketing your house, Taylor, your concern will not be the quality of my rock kyle kyle how about this i come to your house i force you out of your house then i bulldoze your home and then i build my own house there and you protest and then the police on my side shoot you with rubber bullets and then your side starts shooting rudimentary rockets and then my side uses scorched earth but taylor i'm just laying it out did Taylor, I want to lay out the one important detail, though. Like you said, you forced me out of my home.
Starting point is 03:03:11 Didn't you own the land I had built my home on? No. I, meaning you, my ancestors from 2,000 years ago owned it, so now I own it? That's absurd. Yeah, it's outrageous. Are you sure? Yeah, I mean, like they can go in there me claiming i don't know ownership of some england land from my great great great great great great
Starting point is 03:03:32 great grand again i don't know the details it all seems pretty messy to me it seems like israel is really punching down a lot of the times well let's talk about that. If Israel wanted to genocide and eradicate Gaza, they could do it in a heartbeat. They're not. I mean, I just want you to look at the logic of it. With their capabilities, if they wanted to take out Gaza, it would have been done already. So you've got to look at that point as well. They're really showing some type of restraint here. I don't know.
Starting point is 03:04:02 The restraint is being a problem, the loose support in the international community. Yeah, that would be the thing. And like what you see is that they just kind of inch their way in. And so they take bits, bits, bits, bits, bits. And the international community the whole time is stop, stop.
Starting point is 03:04:15 The only people who are supporting you are the U.S. Well, I guess that's all it takes is the U.S. And that's, you know, that's the way it's kind of gone is like slowly, you can look at the images
Starting point is 03:04:23 of like what Israel looks like 60 years ago, 40 years ago. What do you think the option is? Because if they stop, if they stop mitigating the launchers, what are they just going to, what I, what I've read, I don't know shit. Cause I don't, I don't either. They are coming after the people launching the rockets and the people
Starting point is 03:04:40 launching rockets are, again, I don't know if this turned out, but the story is that these people are being embedded in homes ap building that was the headquarters for uh communication for them so they're targeting the source of of the rockets so that's that's what they're going after and the the thing is that when you put military capabilities in a civilian population, it's going to happen. It's a horrible thing. What's the option? Just let it – okay, just – well, we know we're going to keep shooting rockets here because they're afraid to shoot back at us. So how does Israel mitigate – and Iron Dome is going to run out of missiles eventually.
Starting point is 03:05:24 They're a lot more expensive than the things that they're shooting from the they come from iran so they won't run missiles we give them four billion dollars a year yeah we give them plenty of money for all that like they're not they're in their military is not lacking for anything again and i'm not claiming to have any answer i'm asking a question here what what are the options available to them to protect israeli lives which include uh muslims christians uh druids that there's there's people are dying across all face over there so what is their option to mitigate this these rocket they can't how do they say you know i i have no idea but like the way i'm looking at it is this is clearly a feud between tribes of people who have been there for thousands of years before the U.S., Russia, before these were countries.
Starting point is 03:06:14 Warring groups of people there, and for us to think we could solve it is, I think, silly. And so I don't know what they need to do over there, but they're not the United States. And so what the U.S. needs to do is just back off a bit. We're not going to solve this. All we're doing is hemorrhaging lives, hemorrhaging money, losing tons of friends internationally for defending this all the time. It doesn't benefit us. Do you support sending more money to help the Palestinians? No, no, no.
Starting point is 03:06:39 I'm saying pull all the foreign aid, totally. We have enough problems in the U.S. We can handle problems here. That's Taylor's. We have enough problems in the U.S. We can handle problems here. That's Taylor's... We talked about homelessness. It's not as if there's never any nuance, but if you were to predict Taylor's stance, it would be stop interfering all over the place everywhere.
Starting point is 03:06:56 Yeah, we keep losing. We keep just tripping ourselves over and over. Oh, this will be the time that she holds the football down and this goes off without a hitch. Yes, this time we kick the football, Taylor. It's going to be different. I mean, we talked about so much with homelessness earlier. I'm pretty sure if we took all that money we're using – you're muted, Kyle.
Starting point is 03:07:13 If we took all that money, we could pretty easily reopen a lot of these asylums that people need. That's where this kind of money should be spent, helping people here. I don't think our audience gets the Charlie Brown references. Oh, I bet they do. They live through Christmases and Thanksgiving. Everybody sees those, right? I barely get it. Oh, well, maybe my grandparents had it on a lot more than you.
Starting point is 03:07:30 Taylor's younger than you. Yeah, but he's old-timey. Get it to the video for the Charlie Brown reference. Get us here. That's Lucy. She's that Lucy. It's a clusterfuck that we're not used to. No, I don't know what the answer to,
Starting point is 03:07:44 but isolationism is sort of an attractive option. but yeah it's a clusterfuck that we're not no i don't know what the answer to uh but but isolationism uh that is is sort of uh attractive option you know just just staying out of it i saw biden just sold them i saw biden just sold them a ton of shit it was in the hundreds of millions of dollars the weapon deal he just did with israel it now a lot of these people are like oh both parties are the same and i'm like no, no, they're not the same. In this regard, I can't tell the difference. Yeah. Yeah. Both parties are pro-Israel, which is interesting.
Starting point is 03:08:10 You know, it's almost like they know something we don't. In the Democrat side, pro-Israel was a very safe stance. Now the Democrats seem somewhat divided. You know, there's. Yeah, there's a lot of people from the other side in the Democratic Party now. It seems like the lever holders, though, like the Chuck Schumers, the Pelosi's,
Starting point is 03:08:30 they're all still the same. It's more like the young... Yeah, Biden. It's more like the young AOCs who aren't. So we're doing our $50 patron hangout coming up pretty soon. If you want to take part, you can sign up in the Patreon below.
Starting point is 03:08:43 It's coming up. And we have an Israeli tank commander in that group of people. So we'll get to talk to our boy. I don't want to use his real name because of what's going on right now, but he's an Israeli tank commander. It's interesting. Somebody
Starting point is 03:08:57 ask him his kill-death ratio. I'm going to. Well, clearly, in finesse, he's alive. He apparently going to uh we're gonna uh well clearly infinite he's alive he's uh he apparently had a really productive talk with fish he's from lebanon the other day um i guess i guess they like both of them they made it sound like if we could get we could get those two to like handle the peace uh talks maybe we get somewhere get him and yeah Two members of the RSK group have apparently made peace in the Middle East. I rarely use any type of television as something that is educational right now, but there's a show on Netflix called Fauda, F-A-U-D-A.
Starting point is 03:09:38 It was written by a former IDF soldier, and he's an undercover operative working in Gaza. soldier and he's uh as an undercover operative working in gaza and they do and it's a joint uh production between arabs and israeli producers and they do a marvelous job of showing just how complex and just how um just impossible the circumstance it doesn't it's not like israel bad palestinian good it's like it's just how it's just this tribal you know you okay he you're about to kill me so i kill you but now their brother's pissing me he tries to you know it's just the chain reaction and they got it he called it uh hana rabi's goat and see this funny part he says basically this all happened when uh hana robbie's goat went into somebody's field and ate the turnips and the guy killed it and he wouldn't pay the
Starting point is 03:10:30 guy for the goat because the goat ate all the guy's turnips so that's how they see that's how it began 5 000 years ago the goat crossed somebody's garden and it's been escalating ever since that's kind of but but it was just but it's a great show it's's called Fauda, F-A-U-D-A. It's one of the best written, and it's subtitles, but a friend of mine. I'm out. No, that looks interesting. I'm reading about it right now. It's, again, a friend of mine, his name is Gotti.
Starting point is 03:10:58 He's a former IDF soldier, and he turned me on to it, and I was just like, all right, let me watch it. And I was reticent at first. I had a background. And then the guy who's the lead actor, he's a former soldier, Israeli soldier. And he's one of the main writers on it. And he's such a good actor. He's like, oh, my.
Starting point is 03:11:17 Because he's so authentic. His weapons handling was like, first, like, look at this guy. You know, his weapons handling is just spot on. And I read about sure the guy's a former he's a he's a former operative and it's i recommend watching it so you get just how just how convoluted and impossible it is to find ground because it's all it's all revenge it's all revenge it's all it's all balancing energy you know and how do you how do you come out of that spiral my fucking fear is that, man,
Starting point is 03:11:45 that we're spinning that directions ourselves right now. You know, there's very little generosity or kind of trust that, okay, maybe somebody can do something different if I just give them the benefit of the doubt. You know, there's a, you know, like our poor, like, again, we're heading down that road faster than we think from my observations.
Starting point is 03:12:06 There's a little miniseries coming out called The Human Factor that's on Amazon. I don't know if it's out yet, but it's about Israeli-Palestinian negotiations in the 90s, and it looks very good. And it seems pretty prescient, but, you know, coming out now. What do you think of the trying to form a 9-11 style commission to look into one six have you guys followed that at all what's one six wait an insurrection with trump and the when oh when they went into the capital and they're gonna they're gonna use that as a pretext to get more spying on us more spying on everyone like they're they're just trying to get information
Starting point is 03:12:43 on people trying to get you that's, that's not how I saw it. I saw it as using it as a pretext to smear Republicans Benghazi style for the next four years. No, no, I think it's bigger than that. Like, they want to do, like, and maybe I'm being silly, but, like, it feels reminiscent of, like, the Patriot Act, where at the time everyone was like, well, yeah, this seems like a good idea. Like, what, are you a fucking terrorist? You're against this? And then, you't did bush didn't let that go and it's still there today and so it looks like they're they got expanded under yeah they're trying to expand it they did you know that right under obama expanded
Starting point is 03:13:17 yeah yeah and i think they're trying to expand it again with this so that they can look at domestic people right or am i wrong and then that would basically be like under the auspices of going after these people it's actually all of us or who are you know getting in that big net well i think what when the when the other dangers to that the whole thing is that when that that whole event depending how you spin it it what it did, it dismissed the entire conservative point of view. It made it now like it's invalid because of that. So basically that was the best event for swinging things to one side of a political spectrum because now, well, if you're conservative, you're an asshole because you stormed the Capitol, but that's such a small percentage of a conservative viewpoint. And so basically we were bifurcated to a point where, you know, if you agree with abortion,
Starting point is 03:14:13 now you're a fucking enemy of the state and everything that you can have. You can't have multiple, you know, like I believe in gun rights and I believe in personal rights. I have a lot of, I believe in fiscal conservancy, but I believe in generosity of spirit and helping people out. So unfortunately, that puts me in the, divides me between these two areas. Either you got to be all in on one idea or all in another. There's no, the middle ground is being destroyed. That's the danger of this commission. It's like, it's going to solidify the
Starting point is 03:14:45 bifurcation of our political attitude. If you're conservative, 1-6 was a bad play. It definitely took a lot of people in the middle and pushed them to the left. Agreed. Sure. It's a small percentage thing. Maybe amongst the voters, but
Starting point is 03:15:01 amongst the leadership, fuck. They just ousted Liz Cheney. It's the majority who are trying to bury this thing, make sure it's okay. Guy goes out there and says, there was really like tourists, really. They're walking orderly in a single file line next to the rope, barricade, whatever that thing's called, the velvet rope. And it's like, I did see that picture. I also saw the picture of the guys you know smearing human feces on the walls of the cap where did they get the feces
Starting point is 03:15:30 did they shit in their antifa put it there um that's it's like dude if you really think antifa was behind this why are you against this one six commission that was always it seemed like it was kind of only a stupid person would think antifa was behind that. That's stupid. But it's an argument that people want to believe on the right. I have no doubt that they were participating in it. Did they start it? No, but it'd be too good of an opportunity. You have no doubt that Antifa participated in 1-6, waving Trump flags as a false flag operation.
Starting point is 03:16:00 Think of the opportunity that would be. Think of the opportunity that would be if you want to really disrupt in unity. Wouldn't that be great to be part of that and be a bad actor? Just like it's a flip like, okay, all the riots up in Portland this summer. Well, it must be conservatives getting involved. It must be the Boogaloo Boys. The thing is, if that were to be true, it would take hundreds or thousands of people to keep a secret.
Starting point is 03:16:30 Right? All those Antifa guys, not one of them, blabbed their mouth and said, yeah, we were involved. Yeah, it was actually us. You know, I was part of Antifa. I had a change of heart. Didn't one come out and say that he was participating in it? Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 03:16:43 I mean, the guy with the bullhorns, right? The guy with the bullhorns, they've shown his... He's not Antifa. This is the QAnon shaman dude? I didn't say... Oh, somebody else. Maybe not specifically Antifa, but he's clearly like a psycho crazy person who's from the left. No.
Starting point is 03:17:00 Yeah. He is from the right. I saw him at like a Bernie event. He came out and was insulted that people were saying he was from the left and made it very clear that he is being mischaracterized. This is him. Now we listen to the Buffalo Man. Now we listen to the Bullhorn.
Starting point is 03:17:15 Please, you're choosing whether you listen to him very selectively. I'm choosing whether we look at him or not. This guy is the QAnon shaman, and you're trying to cast him as from the left. You're trying to cast him as a reputable source. No, no. It is not in question that this guy is from the right. It is really not.
Starting point is 03:17:35 I'm questioning it. People are saying, yes. And your evidence that he is not is that he told you he wasn't. He's dressed as a buffalo. Him and his lawyer and his history. He is apparently a player in the QAnon thing and whatever. But I will agree he's a wacko and he's stupid.
Starting point is 03:17:56 Oh, yeah. I don't think you can take anything he says as anything important. He asked Trump for a pardon. He said, Trump, I supported you. Now I want a pardon but headdress is pretty cool that headdress do you think there's any possibility that there's some type of of uh covert um from outside the country any influence happening there do you think uh yeah uh yes but not on the ground i i think that you're definitely having actors from overseas fanning the flames online with bots and such,
Starting point is 03:18:30 making little things look bigger than they are, and inflaming people and trolling, and really getting tempers to rise. But I doubt there's actual Russians or Chinese people on the ground waving Trump flags or Biden flags or Antifa flags or whatever. They were all Trump flags, just to be clear. I'm not talking about this event specifically. I'm talking about the hundred events we had last year from both sides. The side that was burning cities down to the ground and the side that was waving Trump flags and the side that was waving QAnon flags or whatever they wave. I don't know, dead babies or whatever QAnon's into these days. The flat earthers, all of them.
Starting point is 03:19:14 I've never seen a flat earth flag. I haven't either, but I mean – What does the earth look like on a flat earth flag? Dude, I saw this guy explaining that the other day. They have a ball. No, because they believe there's an ice ring around they believe different things this guy was trying to explain the other day that it was like an eyeball with an iris and that it had like this comet tail behind it and we lived on this stripe in the middle of the ball but it's not a sphere it's like it's more like a i don't know a teardrop like a long teardrop is what we would shape like
Starting point is 03:19:46 and we're this stripe that goes around the don't listen to anything they say the fact that we're discussing it is giving it credence it's absurd it's absurd we've seen it gives it credence i don't think so we've seen the thing from space and and and the fact that no those are lies the fact that they think that every person every space organization in the world is in on the same lie is one of the most absurd things ever. That for some reason, China, Israel, Russia, and the United States all have common ground on this one thing. And those are just like a few of the powers. There's that? Do I agree?
Starting point is 03:20:20 But they also have to extend that to the whole maritime industry, the whole aviation industry. There are other people who count on the earth being round. Last year, a guy took a balloon up to what? 80,000 feet and he jumped with a camera on his head. Remember this guy? You saw pretty much that, okay, this is a round thing. This is a guy. He was up there.
Starting point is 03:20:47 People saw him come down. Are you talking about the Red Bull guy? So the Red Bull guy was up there like in space. Remember that like the biggest free fall ever? 80,000 feet. Yeah, you could see the curvature of the planet like as he's falling. You can see that same curvature from a commercial airplane. Can you?
Starting point is 03:21:06 I'm not 100% sure. Like when you look at the horizon, the horizon got a little curve too does it i need to look again go to the beach look out there you notice how at some point the boat just disappears it's going over the fucking piece by piece yeah yeah i i flown uh james doesn't know i fly this little personal aircraft called a paramotor and i've gone to about 12 000. It's like a parachute with a fan on your back. I know exactly what it is, yeah. Okay, cool, cool. I go to 12,000 feet. Earth looks flat, completely flat.
Starting point is 03:21:32 And I was looking. I wanted to see the curve. I'm willing it into existence, and it's like it's just flat. It's flat from everywhere at 12,000. You can't see it. I don't know at 36, maybe. You can see it. Like when you look at the horizon,
Starting point is 03:21:47 the horizon's got a little curve to it. You're up there. I did some mountain climbing. I was up at 16,000 feet. It's flat as hell. At 16,000? Yeah, 16,000 feet is flat as hell. That's because the topography of the Earth,
Starting point is 03:22:03 it doesn't give you that linear thing. You are going to have your... Plus, the curvature has a reflective thing with the light that bounces that there's all kinds of science yeah i feel like if the earth was really flat like russia or china by now would have exposed it and made us look like fools been like oh look at them they they lied to you about this rounder and and then they show verifiable proof it's flat. You know what? That would have happened by now. I Googled it. It says Kyle's right. It says you should be able to detect it from an airplane.
Starting point is 03:22:32 They cruise at about 35,000 feet, but you need a fairly wide field of view, 60 degrees. Do you get that from a window? Probably do. You put your face all the way in. Right? You should be just short of one. And I do. I'm a child.
Starting point is 03:22:43 Not a full 180, but yeah. It depends's what aisle you're in i think if you're in that middle i would get to sleep right next to your face there right if the wing's not there but if you go to like maybe all the way in first class and put your face in the window you probably get 60 degrees if you try and barge into the pilots i need to have a word with you i need to know it's curved you start barking about the curve the flat earth and pounding on the pilot's door they'll let you ride in every time you know it'd be a cool feature for planes you know how they have those little tvs maybe this is already a thing well you can
Starting point is 03:23:14 you can put stuff in you can like check where you are in your flight and whatnot they should have a camera where you can like see through the front of the plane they have that they do yeah oh i've never seen that before yeah i've seen that on Delta flights. Really? It's very cool. So there's like a GoPro on the front? I don't know where it was, but you can see outside the plane. I like to believe it's suction cupped. You can see a bird when you crash into it then. You can see the birds
Starting point is 03:23:36 coming as you crash into it. You've got a bird. It's going to be a real problem. It must happen all the time. I'm going to get the fuck out of the way. They had those hawks at airports to run the birds off. I'm sure we've all seen that demonstration from Boeing where they're throwing frozen turkeys
Starting point is 03:23:54 into the 747 engines or whatever. I need to find this. The fucking turbines in super high speed photography are going like slicing. It's like slice slice slice like like like like segmenting a frozen turkey an inch at a time what a time saver that would be cool ah james is thinking um yeah what was i gonna say i was gonna talk about the fucking ufo like footage that that keeps coming out with from from like the navy and the air force is really fascinating to me
Starting point is 03:24:31 i saw the one debunked one it's green there's there's so many i don't know i don't know that anything got i didn't know anything got debunked but i i see like you know is there a video brief there's lots of video so there's a green one. It's through night vision and there are triangles sort of moving around in like a weird way and they pulse a little bit
Starting point is 03:24:55 and like it just doesn't look like anything we've seen and the government came out and said it was a UFO, which doesn't mean aliens. It means unidentified flying aircraft or object. So the Internet sees it. And this guy is like, I know exactly what this is.
Starting point is 03:25:13 This is unfocused bokeh. And he recreates it. Exactly. He's like, these are what stars look like when it's not focused. When the I think it's called the iris of the camera is triangular. You know, they open and close it to change how much the light is for the speed, whatever. And he's like, when it's out of focus and it's triangular, all the stars look like triangles. Airplanes look like triangles.
Starting point is 03:25:36 This one's blinking. That's because it's an airplane. And they even identified which plane it was, like based on like the time and location that it was shot. Going by, blinking, and it's just an unfocused blinking triangle because that's what happens when you have a triangular iris. This is from three days ago. This is not the one I'm talking about, but carry on. Yeah, this is some sort of flying object that eventually,
Starting point is 03:26:02 I think this might be the one who that disappears into the water at one point like goes underwater and then comes back up it's uh i don't know they're following it with fucking aircraft like like air force aircraft no no this is this is from the navy ship this is yeah that always adds a certain credibility to me when um it could be a navy pilot or it could be even like a commercial airline pirate pilot. Like these are serious people at work. They're not rednecks drinking. Those guys have been trained to look at, look at,
Starting point is 03:26:30 look at like a radar signature or even like the, the, the like outline of a plane and identify it. Like, like those guys are like trained to do that. They look at the sky all the time. They know what's normal, you know?
Starting point is 03:26:41 And, and so when it like a, I'll just say a naval aviator says, this is something weird oh well that's something different than woody at a campfire seeing something weird yeah agreed 100 or or maybe it hasn't been explained or maybe just some video that gets uploaded and you're like all right who doctored this how was this filmed where was it filmed like is this even cgi like what am i looking at but when you've got something that's got like you know it's from a naval aircraft or ship or
Starting point is 03:27:10 something it's it definitely adds some credence to it it'll be up to congress to get to the bottom of this all right we'll never know yeah that's top comment they're like are you fucking kidding me yeah it's absurd well i i was looking at this report on this, and some research said that most of the triangular ones are the new version of the drone, the jet-powered drone that has stealth and is built in. It's invisible because it has a camera, and it projects what's above it below. So basically it's invisible to human sight. It's a next generation drone that's being launched off of naval carriers right now. And he was
Starting point is 03:27:54 talking specifically about that video where it comes in the water out of the water. It was actually, they were testing the cell systems on this particular new drone. It's a new camera. It may be the Icarus. Check out the new drone it's a new camera it may be the icarus check out the maybe it's called the icarus um the invisible drone or something that that one i know this is the one i was talking about the most recent one i linked and uh i'll play it real
Starting point is 03:28:18 quick you can see on the screen but people watching can this sort of blinking triangle and then he shows what the night vision thing that it was recorded through looks like and another way to create it and he uses that equipment and makes more of it but yeah if it's out of focus and you have a triangular opening like
Starting point is 03:28:37 that you get this UFO image so we'll see what comes of it I don't know I like You get this UFO image. We'll see what comes of it. I don't know. It's exciting to think there could be aliens.
Starting point is 03:28:52 I hope. Yeah. Come on. Wouldn't it be great to meet somebody with a flying saucer? I mean, come on. It's like a ghost. Wouldn't you love to meet a ghost? Hey, wait a minute.
Starting point is 03:29:05 Come here. Are you dead? What's it like on the other side? I feel like I'd regret it if there were aliens. If I could choose whether or not there were aliens and I said yes, I would be throwing a Molotov cocktail on society. And there are some people who think that's a great idea. There are some people who are just like, yeah, fuck it. I don't like society. Let's throw a molotov cocktail
Starting point is 03:29:25 on it and see what see what the next version's like who cares and but me i'm like no this is cool this is cool i like what we got here um i don't want to throw a molotov cocktail in society but i can't deny that it's interesting i can't deny that i do kind of want to know what happens if there's aliens right yeah yeah I'm with you I wish I think they'd be really cool if aliens landed fucking went on YouTube that would destroy the cost of Bitcoin
Starting point is 03:29:56 they became the best they became the biggest tiktokers like fucking Xenu and the boys right like turns out that like when they talk it sounds a little like a kazoo and people just go wild for it. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 03:30:10 That'd be pretty fucking cool. That's that's how you would like make yourselves known instead of like trying to like go to the White House or the Kremlin or something. You just make a TikTok. You just make a TikTok introducing yourself to the to humanity. TikTok's controlled by the Chinese. I don't I don't believe it. You got to put it on Twitter for me to buy it.
Starting point is 03:30:27 Yeah, you can do it on Twitter too. Go everywhere. Yeah, they'd have the most followers right away. I think you put it on Reddit, extra mile, put it there, it's going to get a lot of observations. I would catch it. I don't know. I think it's probably government technology that's a generation or two ahead of what we're aware of
Starting point is 03:30:51 that's looking ridiculous. And I think that's probably what we're seeing because I just, I don't know. I don't think that aliens are able to come here. And if they were, I don't think they'd just be flying around. I don't know. They're obeying the prime directive well if they're from like the star trek universe then they are i guess although they are revealing themselves too you think we just made that stuff up kyle i'm pretty sure gene roddenberry just made that up um well it's funny how like
Starting point is 03:31:22 gene roddenberry was thought of as this real woke guy, you know, because he was so inclusive, right? You got a Russian fucking right there behind the, I think, yeah, he was flying the ship or no, no, that was Sulu. Well, you got an Asian guy flying the ship, a Japanese guy, not all that long after World War II. The first interracial kiss on TV, the first interracial. It was like a rapey kiss. They were being forced to kiss each other.
Starting point is 03:31:44 It's true. There's a saving grace there. And you had a black woman running communications. You had the Russian guy running the weapons, middle of the Cold War. And you thought of it as real woke for the time period, but there is a part where they're like, oh yeah, well, women aren't allowed to be Starfleet
Starting point is 03:32:00 captains. That's literally a line in the show because they're so flippant. You couldn't have a female captain. captains like that's literally a line in the show because they're they're so flippant you know you couldn't have a female captain huh that that is funny that's not very woke we were talking about the american army and stuff i wish that jobs all over the place had physical requirements right like it what happened there was a cop i went off on her yeah oh she's a Yeah. She mixed up her taser and her Glock. And a lot of people thought the root cause of that was mixing up the taser
Starting point is 03:32:29 and the Glock. I saw it a little differently. The guys were like establishing risk control and pulling them out of the car. She can't play that game. So she went straight to weapons. And I feel like this is just the natural byproduct of weak cops. And I don't mean women cops the natural byproduct of weak cops
Starting point is 03:32:45 and I don't mean women cops although they are often weak I'm talking about weak cops if you can't do 30 pushups you either lose your job or we find a desk job I think all cops should be able to bench press 150 let's just let's make that the minimum sure two reps
Starting point is 03:33:02 150 you got a racket okay yeah and boom now there's a physical requirement Let's make that the minimum. Sure. Two reps, 150, you got to rack it. Okay. Yeah. And boom, now there's a physical requirement. Now there's no female cops. If you go to the army, different jobs could have different physical requirements. If you're going to find yourself in a scenario where you might have to pull a dude out of a tank, then you need to whatever fucking. Ah, the G.I. Jane scenario.
Starting point is 03:33:26 Is that a G.I. Jane thing? But yeah, then you need to be able to chainsaw 50 pounds or whatever, right? Like, all right, this is a phys requirement if you have that job. If my brother-in-law was in the Air Force and his job was to look at pictures that were taken by surveillance, he was in intelligence, and just circle things that he thought people up the chain should look more closely at.
Starting point is 03:33:48 A job like that, pretty much no physical requirements. You can curl three ounces, you're in. Right, right. If you can drink a beer, you get that job, or whatever it is. Yeah. You know, like, so yeah, different jobs,
Starting point is 03:34:03 if you work in IT, probably super low physical requirements. If you're marching with a gun, probably super high physical requirements because you might have to pull someone to safety. And of course yourself and your gear. Yeah, the whole thing from G.I. Jane, it's the movie where Demi Moore signs up to be the first female Navy SEAL. And the recruitment, or the sergeant or whatever, the training guy who's played by Viggo Mortensen tells Demi Moore's character Well, he's beating the shit out of her
Starting point is 03:34:30 He's like you couldn't even pull your body weight out of the ocean this morning because you were soaking wet wearing your gear Which by the way would be an incredibly difficult physical task after you'd already done all that PT But she couldn't she couldn't pull her own body weight out of the water into the boat Soaking wet with her gear on after doing physical stuff already. He's like, I pulled a man out of a burning tank, a 200 pound man with his gear on out of a burning tank. I helped lower a man into a tank one time. It is incredibly awkward. He weighed 150 pounds. It was hard. Cause like, it's just real awkward to like lower him in there. He was a handicapped veteran and he wanted to be able to shoot a tank. So we're like carefully lowering this guy who doesn't have the use of three of his limbs into a fucking tank. And there's three grown men doing this. And we're all sweating by the time it's done.
Starting point is 03:35:25 Because, you know, you don't just throw this guy in there like a sack of potatoes. He's already fucked up. So we're trying to easily get him in there. It was hard. You might have a higher tolerance for bumping him on the edges if you're just rescuing him. Yeah, and there are edges. Tanks do not have forgiving edges. I was like, I wonder if modern ones do.
Starting point is 03:35:45 Because I assume it wasn't like a current tank. It certainly wasn't like a brand new tank. I don't remember exactly what it was. But, you know, whenever I've been in them, I usually wore some gear. Like, especially if I wasn't on camera. You put the goofy-ass helmets on and you can bang your head around in there. It doesn't hurt so much. They look absurd.
Starting point is 03:36:10 I've never been in a moving tank but i'm guessing it moves in unpredictable ways right like you don't get to see like a car and sort of anticipate all the stuff that's gonna happen it's just shaking around right it's so heavy that it doesn't it can't like do jolty stuff really everything it does is this like slow roll and pitch kind of thing because it's so big and heavy i've been in a tank destroyer and um what kind was it i don't know i got a video yeah you know with the thing about physical requirements as you're talking about that, you know, it's curious to me because, you know, the world's on a bell curve, would you agree? Like you have most of us exist in the middle, then you have the extremes.
Starting point is 03:36:58 Sure. You have like, so you have some women who are extremely strong who could probably do certain things, but there aren't a lot of those. And then you have another space where there are a lot of men who just aren't capable to do what an average woman does, this bell curve. So with that in mind, if you remove the idea of gender from it and just go on capability for these specific jobs, that's a very easy thing to do. jobs that's a very easy thing to do but why do you think that's so um becomes so uh difficult put that idea into into into like into the police force or fire departments or you know a search and rescue or the military what what what is the what is the resistance to that it hurts people's feelings right it it has to be that simple it is to me anyway like it just hurts people's feelings. Right? It has to be that simple.
Starting point is 03:37:46 It is to me anyway. Like it just hurts people's feelings. And there should be... I used to be a lifeguard. I was a lifeguard on the beach and we had, you know, a couple dozen or hundreds of rescues every year. So you actually had to be able to fucking do this. And
Starting point is 03:38:01 you re-qualified every year. I forget what. I think it was a two minute 200 meter swim and a six minute mile right and if you didn't get that you were fired and uh you know we had i think 135 people and six of them were girls that's what the police force would look like if they had physical requirements that mattered you know and i disagree i don't think there'd be any women. I don't think there'd be any women. Because I think you should be able to, I don't know. I think there should be some real physical requirements. Like if we look at the job,
Starting point is 03:38:34 I would say that being a police officer is more difficult than being a lifeguard. And I do not underrate how difficult being a lifeguard is. I just think that your main job is dragging people out of the water. Swimming out long distances and perhaps rescuing somebody who's so panicky that their first intuition is to take you down with them flailing. That's not hard to deal with though. Yeah. You just go under, you sink and then they
Starting point is 03:39:01 don't want you anymore. Oh, you want to go down? Well, let's go. Yeah, yeah. I'm not the one panicking. How long can you hold your breath, sir? My record's three and a half minutes. Woody, is that the move? You just start sinking, and then they go, oh, okay. Yeah, it's literally, they get a manual out to every rookie.
Starting point is 03:39:19 You read it, and then you do it, and it works every time. That's great. But if you're going to have to wrestle with, with people in the streets who are armed criminals, like, I don't know. I don't think, I don't know that I'm qualified motherfucker.
Starting point is 03:39:32 Like, I think you need to be a, I actually, can I choose my purpose? I could do some. I want to go after white collar crimes. I think most men aren't qualified to be cops. I think that most cops aren't qualified to be cops i think that most cops aren't qualified
Starting point is 03:39:46 to be cops i'll say that like like most cops i see i'm like i whoop your ass you can restrain you'd have to shoot me if i was crazy like if i were crazed you'd have to kill me because you're not physically capable of doing anything else and for women that's like a hundred percent of the scenarios a hundred percent of scenarios you've been in a fist fight before in the street, right? You've boxed, you've fought, you know, you've fought in a ring, which is one type of fighting. But you've been in a street fight, you've been like where the stakes are pretty freaking high.
Starting point is 03:40:15 The movies have polluted our brains as to what physical interactions are. I've been in hockey fights, and it's okay because there's a referee and my chances of getting killed are very slim because somebody's going to intercede if things go bad. I've also been in fights in bars and even that has seen but on the street when you're dealing with somebody, the idea if you're going to get them into a choke hold when they're manic and crazy, just like knife defense. If you're in a knife fight, that's slashing a fight.
Starting point is 03:40:47 You're not going to put a – you're going to take damage. Oh, no. I take my shirt off and wrap it around my fist so that – No, you're going to take fuck off. I'm just kidding. I'm kidding. I'm not stupid. Even if you're highly skilled, somebody has a knife.
Starting point is 03:41:03 You're going to take a serious amount of damage. They're going to slash and jab. You're going to take a serious amount of damage. They're going to slash and jab. You're going to take a lot of damage, and you're looking out with your life. So when you put a cop in a situation who's got to deal with somebody who's agitated, hyper, and somebody who may be on drugs or may be agitated, there isn't many people in the world who can take down somebody of an equal size when they're agitated and violent and like i you know again you fought you fought you've been in fights like it's a it's it's a battle i don't think i've been in this kind of fight no i've been in an adult street fight you fought for your life in the streets right we all have well i don't know if I could have fought it. Maybe James has. I have not. No, no. There will be boxing every now and then.
Starting point is 03:41:46 I've been into my share of arguments, okay? I've shouted. Was that James? No, but even if you're in like a pushing – you're pushing somebody, it escalates quickly. And unless you really know how to balance yourself, unless you've got a lot of practice, even a pushing match can be very eventful. It's just when I see some of these videos of cops dealing with people, if you don't understand what it takes just to keep yourself safe, you're not going to dominate somebody. I mean, maybe if
Starting point is 03:42:17 you're a great heavyweight MMA guy, you may have a chance that somebody smaller, they're not going to take any damage. But there's this unrealistic idea that cops can somehow subdue somebody without any type of physical... I disagree. All the videos I see, cops are absolutely dominating the other guy. And Taylor, you're right, it does. And it's because the other guy's hardly fighting back. Like when a person resists arrest, they're kind of like just not fully putting their hands behind their back in most of the videos I see. They're just kind of like
Starting point is 03:42:51 walking away or like, you know, slipping towards... They haven't gone into full attack mode. They're more in like no, I don't wanna. They're like a kid who doesn't want to get in the car. They're just like, no, I don't want to get in the car. I never see a guy square up with a policeman. It's rare.
Starting point is 03:43:09 There's rule of thumb here. Always watch the first five minutes of the video and the last five. Not just what we're fed on our outlets. Because I'm in a business. I can manipulate everything. When I edit, I can make the same scene look polar. Oh, yeah. You're going to come off terrible on this podcast.
Starting point is 03:43:33 By the way, we've been here four hours. These are 30 minutes long. You guys have no idea how racist he's about to look. You just watch it on Saturday and it's like, my name is Jamesames and i am gay it's like they really they really screwed me i i fucked up more of my share believe me but the idea is that you know it's like the it i don't know man i i'm friends with a lot of cops.
Starting point is 03:44:06 I've been on drive-alongs. I've been in my share of confrontations. And it escalates. And it's the idea of when do you – you don't know what this person has. You don't know what the – and here's a – I mean, you guys take a class on weapons, CCW. I have a CCW. You have to take a law class. I think we all do. Yeah, we've all done it.
Starting point is 03:44:28 Or have. So in the class, what is the effective range of a knife? Well, it's 15 feet. That means if you've got a knife, by the time I get to my gun, you've got me stabbed. So there's all these relevant tactical things that you have to remember when you deal with suppression of violence, suppression of criminals, that you – people don't understand how difficult it is to get somebody to be compliant, to basically comply with that. Listen, resisting is a dangerous thing for a cop. It's a dangerous thing.
Starting point is 03:45:08 And I think part of the issue is that, again, I'm not sitting here giving cops free range to do what they want. I'm not saying that. I think that we have to change the way police teams are handled. I think police have got to be done in teams, and they've got to rotate out. When a guy gets hyper, hey, tap him out, get out of here, walk off. You're excited. Because
Starting point is 03:45:29 when the adrenaline goes, you lose your finer nuanced skills. You become more base oriented. If fighters know that, you know, when you go, your adrenaline and you lose your finer capabilities or your reason, you go to this more sort of a more base approach but i also think that we've got to start making a conversation into communities that are hard hit by at the scenes teach your kids to be respectful teach teach your kids to hey cops is it until we can fix it i have a lot of kids on my channel who are you know or who are called non-white. And as a hockey coach, I lost kids to street violence in New York, and it's fucking horrible for me. I get attached to people really quickly, and I keep saying,
Starting point is 03:46:12 guys, I don't, it may not be politically correct, but please, if somebody's pointing a fucking gun at you, just do what they tell you to do. Especially if it's a cop. That means he's afraid. Someone pulls their gun. I carry. If I pull a gun, it's because I'm really thinking I'm in danger here. So when a cop pulls his gun, it's not a joke.
Starting point is 03:46:33 It's not a challenge. Don't antagonize. Don't challenge somebody who's pointing a gun at you. It's like just teach us to, hey, all right, maybe find a way to take the fear out of being thrown in jail. Maybe have people who are indigenous and who don't have money build a fund. OK, I'll take the pinch because I know that I'll have some type of legal representation or there's money there. So if I am sort of just on the edge edge of things i can get out of jail fix it that way but can you know compel people to comply especially when they see a cop holding a gun
Starting point is 03:47:12 fuck what do you somebody hold a gun at me yeah what do you want man i agree with you there like i've had cops pull guns and it's just like yes sir would you like me to do? You're both right. You should comply, right? I try to do this quickly. I drive a motorcycle. You can't just go blasting through green lights expecting people to see you on a motorcycle. In a car, you can do that your whole life. They kind of see it. People don't tend to make lefts into you.
Starting point is 03:47:41 And if they do, the consequences aren't that high when the motorcycle you got to drive through green lights in a way where you're prepared to deal with somebody making a mistake cool yeah everything's your fault well not everything's your fault but everything's your problem somehow police compliance comes like there's a parallel here should i completely obey yes but the consequences are fucked up. I don't know. Maybe the parallel is not working. But there was a shooting in North Carolina.
Starting point is 03:48:10 I have a video. I'll open it at current time. Perfect. What happens is these cops roll up. I don't know why they're going there. But it must be pretty serious. Because they're all dressed in their tactical gear. And there's like six of them in the back of some sort of pickup truck maybe this is SWAT okay they don't have a cool SWAT armored personnel carrier but uh they're all they're ready to get
Starting point is 03:48:37 shit done um here I'll just flip through it for people holy shit right so they come out of this thing and they find the dude uh there's no sound in this wow but um here's the is this the guy we're gonna see him any second now oh i think i maybe skipped past the good part a minute and 30 in we haven't seen the guy yet we're just seeing mostly this guy's forearm holding a gun. Okay. I gave you a bad timestamp. The amazing stuff happens around one 10. Well, he's dead. Yeah.
Starting point is 03:49:10 He's dead, right? Yeah. So I think so. Here's, here's what happens for people watching it. I'm at like one Oh nine for you guys. There's a car right here.
Starting point is 03:49:19 This car rather than just comply with all these cops pointing their weapons at him, he gets in his car. There is a policeman here on the right of the screen. I'm at 111 right now. And I think there's one at the top of the screen. The guy is clearly driving in between two cops. Take note of where this cop's feet are because he does not run over this cop. He doesn't run over where the cop is standing. He's driving around the cop in an effort to escape.
Starting point is 03:49:49 The cop kind of shuffles right even further into his path. In spite of the fact that the cop shuffles the wrong way, I'm at 113 now, he still doesn't hit where the cop was. The cop could have stood still. He didn't hit him. Now he drives past the cop, and he's kind of like escaped
Starting point is 03:50:06 they all start shooting and the guy dies now he shouldn't have done that right he shouldn't have hopped in his car and tried to drive what was he driving towards i couldn't was he he was like in a yard heading towards a house okay i think he was just driving towards freedom and you don't get to see his eventual path because he gets killed. And so once he gets past the policemen and they're looking at his rear view, they all open fire and the guy dies. Now, like, you can't do that. It wasn't the guy's fault, but it's the guy's problem and that's he wasn't even driving uh motorcycle through the green light parallel came through like it's not your fault but it's your problem this guy's death was caused by his bad actions was caused by his
Starting point is 03:50:57 reckless actions is a better take but there shouldn't be a death penalty for driving away from the police and the prosecutors have looked at this and decided not to file charges. It's done. The reason why is because the car is considered a lethal weapon. True. I don't know if you know this case, but that's exactly what they said. Legally, well, this again law this is a law class legally a car if you take your car and you drive at somebody that's uh you can be charged with assault with a deadly weapon that and i think that's nationwide i don't
Starting point is 03:51:37 think that that's that's and that's no i agree though there's got to be there's got to be another way to uh prosecute that interaction there because that again i don't think cops are allowed to be judge a jury in execution that's that's wrong that's you know so finding finding new ways to handle those circumstances that is that is the change we have in law enforcement not taking away their powers finding you know getting people how do we handle that what can we do better here how change we have in law enforcement, not taking away their powers, finding, you know, getting people. How do we handle that? What can we do better here? How can we have how can we is letting that guy go? Is that helping? Then what happens when he whatever it is, he does something that hurts somebody else or justice isn't given to the person that was whatever it was. All these things have got to be laid out and until we
Starting point is 03:52:25 can have a conversation like this across the board say okay you're right there's two parts of the story we have to enforce the law this is the law how do we how do we solve the actual technical problems it would give a man a problem he can solve how do we how do we tactically handle something that better how do we make i i think they should have prosecuted these cops and here's the thing a lot there's two ways that i like solutions i hear for this all the time one is these guys just need more training and i'm like jesus fucking christ every time cops murder someone they're like well they just need classes on how not to murder people you know what sometimes there should be penalties
Starting point is 03:53:05 they should have in their head yeah those guys from north carolina are in jail right now because they shot a guy in the back who was driving away from them right if you want what was he headed towards like because if someone's listening they might think that he got onto a road and was going down the road he looked to be like driving through people's yards like i i can't tell what he was it looked to me like he was driving out his front yard through his neighbor's front yard. His plan was to hit the street. You said a really interesting thing. And I want to point it out.
Starting point is 03:53:32 Use the word murder. And that's part of the issue with getting getting this change. That's not murder. That that's necklace. That is negligent homicide. That is them. They didn't intend to go there that day and murder somebody. That was a police action. Now, what you're looking at is actually just bad work. They are
Starting point is 03:53:56 negligent at their job. They don't, they have to find a better way to do that. What if he was on foot? If you prosecute, if he's on foot, you can't sue a hypothetical because how can you know what's going to happen? You can absolutely do hypotheticals. We'll do one right now. If they say stop and he runs away on foot and they shoot him in the back,
Starting point is 03:54:16 that feels like murder to me. It's definitely worse than this because at least on foot he doesn't have a fucking car to drive into people. But they shot him as he was driving away. If they shot him while he was driving towards them, I would feel a lot differently about this. What else is going on?
Starting point is 03:54:34 What else happened? What else is going on? You can't just throw out this simple hypothetical without adding other mitigating factors either. And again, the one, that poor gentleman years ago got shot, he was just running away. That, that's, that was horrible. And we got to add in what, we didn't make it hypothetical.
Starting point is 03:54:53 You got to put a whole bunch of what was happening? What's the circumstance? Where, you know, what are the other elements for that justify policemen's actions? I don't agree that you can't do a hypothetical. If I say, hey, this guy's driving away.
Starting point is 03:55:07 If he was running away, it'd be a very parallel situation. And you say, what about all the other things? Well, we'll make them the same. Period. Problem solved. Now we can do hypotheticals. This guy was driving away from the police and they shot him while he was driving away.
Starting point is 03:55:22 Right. And I'm not saying he was a good guy. I'm sure he is. I guess he has other crimes in his history. The SWAT team's rolling up on a guy. He's probably a yucky dude. We're discussing that. Do cops get to be judged during execution
Starting point is 03:55:36 or any circumstance they choose? That's the real conversation, right? That's what you're saying. When they act like that, they are becoming judged, jury, and executioner in that moment. And once you do that there's you don't get to take that action back that's a permanent action and and i think we should prosecute cops when that happens if they're bad you know this guy was driving away can't shoot can't shoot a guy for trying to escape i don't
Starting point is 03:56:04 like it it's just that there's not a death penalty for it right this guy should have been caught later that afternoon and right spent even longer in jail and kicked himself in the butt for the next eight years because he tried to escape the police you know that's that's whatever eight years whatever but um yeah you know eight months i can't i mean i can't debate that it can't be you're not as harsh for my prison sentences as someone who's done two months It sucks Whenever I hear somebody it's like yeah, you got five years for embezzlement I'm like God did some orphans die or something like what the fuck okay how much did he embezzle do take the
Starting point is 03:56:45 driving uh he didn't hit a cop and he didn't even drive where a cop was standing it's not like the cop had to dodge him but he did endanger a cop i mean like he drove in their general direction it looked scary like i don't know um all i know is like i put my he drove into that one guy didn't he and i think cops have to be held to the highest i went frame by frame i think if you're gonna patrol the streets with a fucking gun if you're gonna patrol the streets with a gun you should be held to a very high standard and so i i say like i you know i've done some crazy things and i don't really get scared of too many things and i'm thinking like would i be if I were like, not even in front of the car, but just near the front bumper? Like, like, like, like I can look and see the wheels of the front of the car. There's no way he can hit me. He could maybe rub against me a little
Starting point is 03:57:32 if he makes a sharp turn, but I'm not in danger. He's not going to kill me. I can shuffle step to the left and I'm fine. Would I be scared? No, no, I wouldn't be scared. I'd be having fun. It'd be like, oh, this is exciting, isn't it? I wouldn't be afraid though. Especially if you've got a goddamn AR-15. Like what's, what's he going to do? Like one handed shoot me with a pistol as he drives past. If I see a pistol, I'm going to shoot him, but I'm not just going to like open fire on a guy who's driving away from me. They're still shooting when he's driving away. They start shooting when he's driving away. It's absurd. It's absurd. It's absurd. They murdered that guy.
Starting point is 03:58:06 And you can frame it. You can be like, well, technically cars are lethal weapons. He was fleeing the scene with a lethal weapon. They had no idea where he might go next. Alright, that's one way of looking at it. But don't try to act like it's the same as him running away with a blood-soaked machete toward a school.
Starting point is 03:58:21 That's not what was happening. He was just trying to get the fuck away. And he shouldn't be. He shouldn't be. And like you said, that's another charge. That's another charge. You're fleeing the police or whatever it's called. And if he bumps a cop, I don't care how lightly, he just assaulted a police officer.
Starting point is 03:58:37 But you don't murder that man. I wouldn't have pulled the trigger. I know I wouldn't have pulled the trigger, and that's the level that I'm holding them to. What would I have done? I wouldn't have pulled the trigger and and that's the that's the that's the level that i'm holding them to what would i have done i wouldn't have pulled the trigger if a cop can semi-reasonably say i feared for my safety then i give him a lot of latitude but if a guy's running away you didn't fear for your safety you silly no no if we're in a dark if we're in an apartment i saw a video where like the female cop is trying to wrangle this guy and he's just not having it. And, uh, and they get into like a tussle in his living room.
Starting point is 03:59:10 And the whole time I'm thinking, shoot him, shoot him, shoot him, shoot him. You should have already shot him, shoot him, shoot him, shoot him. And eventually everybody's shot. Cause like, cause like, uh, the male cop has to show up and start shooting people. And like the woman has been shot by like her own gun or something. And then the male cop has said to come in and shoot the other guy with, with his personal gun. And it's, it's a whole thing. It's like, you should have shot him a long time ago. So it's not like I'm always on the bad guy side or anything. It's just, there's levels to this shit. And that was a situation where the cop shouldn't have shot a guy who was driving away
Starting point is 03:59:40 from them menacingly. And, uh, but then there's some situations where it's like we're in a dark room and it's just me and you and all that's standing between me and you kill between you killing me is me killing you like i'm gonna have to shoot and especially if it's a crazed person like are we there for a guy who stole some watches and was selling them on the street are we there for like psycho billy the guy who's got like three murders on his rap sheet, and he's looking for a fourth gang member to shoot today? Like there's a big difference. In North Carolina, as a general rule of thumb,
Starting point is 04:00:13 as a concealed carry, you can shoot someone if you fear death, serious injury, sexual assault, and you have no ability to escape. That's roughly when you can shoot someone. Take away the no ability to escape thing, and we have a good guideline for cops. Do you think Alabama
Starting point is 04:00:27 or Arkansas or wherever Boogie's from has the same law? Because he was definitely in fear of sexual assault. He was in fear of it. Do this. Doesn't the castle doctrine let you shoot people on your property? Almost for trespassing?
Starting point is 04:00:44 Yeah, we've got this friend um this guy this crazy guy from the internet showed up to his house and tried to sissy hypno him and so he came outside and fired a warning shot and now he's in a bit of trouble for firing a warning shot into the air because that's technically aggravated assault in a school zone i don't know if you caught the fact where i said the man was there to sissy hypno him but that's the funny part i don't know if you caught the fact where I said the man was there to sissy-hypno him, but that's the funny part. I don't know what that is. He was trying to hypnotize him into being a femme boy gay slave of his, a sexual slave,
Starting point is 04:01:14 a servant. He was trying to turn him into a sissy. And my god, if he hadn't fired that warning shot, he would have had him. He would have had him under his spell. Really? A pair of fox ears and a little mini skirt.
Starting point is 04:01:28 The only reason Boogie doesn't have an anal plug with a tail coming out of his ass right now is because of that warning shot. The only reason he's not in an apartment somewhere tied to a radiator, begging for loads. Begging for... What was that shit I said the other day?
Starting point is 04:01:44 Or maybe he'd be very happy. You don't know. He'd be a very happy boy. He'd be very happy. Oh, shit. So fucked up. So fucked up. What is this world we live in?
Starting point is 04:01:56 It's pretty awful. Things seem simpler in the 90s. Yeah, we were younger. We were a lot younger. There was no fear of being sissy hypnoed in the 90s? No. No, YouTube wasn't really around. Not something I really thought about.
Starting point is 04:02:10 Now every day, it's all I think about. As being the only one in this crew that was alive in the 60s, shit hasn't changed. I mean, we just have internet now. Everybody, we have phones. Like, shit was crazy. Shit's been crazy since day one. We just now are very much more aware of it.
Starting point is 04:02:28 I agree with you a hundred percent. I was just kind of making a joke about the sissy thing, but I agree with you a hundred percent. I think if anything, it's tamer now and there's less violence. It's just that we hear about every scrap of it anytime. Because you can tell like whenever a specific kind of issue is sensitive, we get flooded with it. It's like, holy shit. Are we in an epidemic of racial violence? It's like, no, no, no. The news networks just know that anything edgy racially is big news today. So
Starting point is 04:02:57 they're just like digging through the archives. White guy got stabbed. No good. No good. Asian guy got stabbed. No, no, that doesn't work.'t work that's for next month um a black man was stabbed that's this month's headline we're doing asians next month just put it on the back burner we'll use it next month no we're going to use it mr fam was he's going to be big news for us don't worry that's season two guys that's season two that's a twist we're saving that for sweeps the thing is you know you it's we also have our own echo chambers too like that you know is it very true and it's just you know what's what's this saying that if you see something three times you recognize it you see it seven times you believe it is this is a psychological
Starting point is 04:03:40 profile that has that that ratio something to that effect yeah i mean in advertising it's called frequency the first time someone sees an ad it doesn't make any imprint they need to see it profile that has that ratio. Probably something to that effect, yeah. I mean, in advertising, it's called frequency. The first time someone sees an ad, it doesn't make any imprint. They need to see it multiple times, and then over time, they start to associate your brand. I know that you're right, and I've heard that. It surprises me, though, because if I didn't know that, the untrained version of me would think that the first impression, the first time you hear about it is the biggest impact. That's it. And every other one is like a little bit wasted.
Starting point is 04:04:08 You know, I already know about this. I already know about this. And a lot of companies, that's all they're doing. Like Coca-Cola is never going to say anything like specific about their flavor. They're a big enough. They just have to remind you that they're a drink. How would you describe Coca-Cola's flavor? Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 04:04:21 Coca-Cola, that exists. That's enough to me. I know exactly everything. They don't need to explain anything. You see it everywhere. It's everywhere. It's remind me of good times I've had with it. And Coca-Cola has a good ad, but yeah, like, um, I don't know that F one 50 lightning, right. I would have guessed that the first time you tell me about that is the best, most is better yet the most important ad that you've done. But it turns out it's the fourth or the sixth one that lands the sale.
Starting point is 04:04:50 And it depends, like if it's digital or if it's TV. TV takes a lot longer to build up frequency because people aren't paying full attention to the commercial spots. Whereas online, and I know I've done this personally, knowing about it doesn't keep you from it. You'll scroll down and you'll get served an ad that's following you because of some cookie on some site. And it's like, that's a really interesting adjustable dumbbell. I like that.
Starting point is 04:05:11 Don't really think about it. I remember that. I saw that the other week, you know, it's like the third or fourth time. It's like, I don't click on the ad cause it's going to take me to some bullshit thing. I just wear you down of there. They wear you down and they pique your curiosity just enough. And because they're following me with the like fitness equipment, the exact stuff, like weightlifting equipment, the stuff I want, like,
Starting point is 04:05:28 like it's, it's so fucking crazy how atomized digital marketing is. Like, like they know every company knows what you do, what you like. Like if the government wants to know a little more about you, they don't go to some secret room. I mean,
Starting point is 04:05:41 they've had the NSA, but they're going to go to Procter & Gamble and Johnson & Johnson and the biggest consumer products and if they want things about your day-to-day buying behavior and stuff because they have it atomized and layered and so many others. If J&J, they could take from you, Woody, and be like, yeah, Jackie is going to repurchase paper towels. We're estimating about four days from now. And they'd be like, oh, we were right.
Starting point is 04:06:03 I figured we were all getting the same ads, right? You guys are getting motorcycle gear, weightlifting equipment, and anal plugs? No. One out of three ain't bad. You get those headbands with the ears on top? That ad, oh my god. It's everywhere. The fox ears.
Starting point is 04:06:18 The fox ears. I get ads for gay conversion therapy, but to make me gay. It's to make you gay. It's to make you gay. Yeah, to make me gay. It's literally sissy hypno. Oh, fuck. I've been paying these guys for months.
Starting point is 04:06:31 I'll go on Amazon, and I'll look at something that I'm thinking about getting that I don't need, like a new pair of boots. I've already got three pairs of boots. They're all very nice. They're too nice. I wasted money on each of these individual pairs of boots. They're all very nice. They're too nice. I wasted money on each of these individual pairs of boots. They're wonderful boots. But then there'll be like a brown pair of like yucca boots and I'll be like,
Starting point is 04:06:52 those look nice. Those gray boots. Those gray boots are nice. But they'll be like $325. I'm like, I'm not spending $325 on a pair of fucking boots. Get out of here. I want them I don't I haven't earned a treat I haven't earned a treat pair of boots this month Let them forget about it
Starting point is 04:07:12 And then like all of a sudden I'm like on some website like looking at a recipe for like steak And there's my fucking boots like down there in this little pop-up bed. I'm like man those boots are sick The fifth or sixth time at like now they've reminded me like two weeksup bed. I'm like, man, those boots are sick. X. And like the fifth or sixth time, like now they've reminded me like two weeks later. And I'm like, you know, I have been good. I have been good. Another thing, Amazon has another funnel trick I've been tracking.
Starting point is 04:07:38 When I started buying this hatchet, I was looking for hatchets. And so I found one that was like maybe 34 bucks, you know, $30. Oh, that's what i want something the price point that's good for me it's affordable and then they have that all of a sudden they pop up oh other other things you may be interested in and little increments of quality improvement like oh this one yeah it has oh it has this really good leather. Oh, this has got a special, this has got hickory instead of ash. And $125.
Starting point is 04:08:06 I went from a perfectly useful one for $35. I bought this Swedish imported designer leather. It's $130. These chops are even better. You could fight a fucking Swedish warrior with that shit. It's what a Viking would take to war. Oh, wouldn't you rather have a Swedish berserker axe? Yeah.
Starting point is 04:08:30 Goddamn right I would. They sent me that. And that's exactly what came up. A berserker axe. Oh, man. I'm amused when they get it wrong. Right? So I bought a dispenser for, I don't know what you call wet toilet paper, but like a wet wipe, right?
Starting point is 04:08:44 For adults. dispenser for, I don't know what you call wet toilet paper, but like a wet wipe, right, for adults. Rather than have it in the dumb plastic thing, like we have a nicer, like, push-top sealed thing so they don't dry out. Good wet wipe dispenser. Cool. Guys,
Starting point is 04:08:56 this is a one-time purchase. I need one wet wipe dispenser and I'm cool. But the internet now believes that I am like a wet wipe dispenser aficionado. They're like, Woody, can I interest you in more wet toilet paper dispensers? How about
Starting point is 04:09:12 this one? Wouldn't this be pimp in your toilet? And it's like, no, man. I only have one ass. It's not really a hobby. It was just a one-time thing. It's not really a hobby. Oh, I wipe my ass. I'm really good at it. I'm really into it. People taste whiskey.
Starting point is 04:09:28 They use different essential oil wipes. Oh, that's very nice. I can feel the peppermint. Is that safe? My goodness, your anal tongue is quite... It's like how wine tasters will put it in their mouths, but then they'll spit it back
Starting point is 04:09:44 out. You're wiping your ass, but then they'll spit it back out. Like, you're wiping your ass, but then you're smearing it back on your ass. You want to do it again. That was tremendous. I'm here for a very long shit. Oh, that was a good clean wipe. It's my lucky day. It's a magic marker poop. It just keeps wiping and wiping and wiping.
Starting point is 04:10:06 I dream of this. But yeah, I like it when they waste their advertising dollars on me. Yeah. Oh, I just want to say anybody who is into Civilization V, into the LEC mod, we've been playing long games of LEC mod in the 50 Discord. So if that's your thing, if you want a group of people who plays consistently and join the 50 and come play with us, the boys have been asking me to advertise for them
Starting point is 04:10:32 because there's only like five of us and we would like a sixth, someone who can play regularly. Just want to throw that out there for them. Cool, cool. All right, James, where can our audience find your stuff? Oh, Sarge's corner uh youtube we do a live stream uh three days a week and james c burns james c dot burns at instagram and james c burns on twitter very awesome we appreciate you coming on we had a good time
Starting point is 04:11:01 guys this is a blast wow it was good yeah we do this so we should every week we talk hockey we talk ufos we talked ass wipes i mean this is it's the big three the titles those are the 544

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