Painkiller Already - PKA 557 W/ Wolf: Kyle's Boxing offer, Taylor Swift is Jerk, OnlyFans ban
Episode Date: August 21, 2021...
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pka 557 the return of wolf taylor this episode of pka is brought to you by postmates blue chew
and lucy a couple of wonderful sponsors wolf thank you so much for coming on on on such short
notice we appreciate it uh thank you very much and uh it's a pleasure to be here i like the npr
voice yeah that's our vibe that's our? Dude, what's new with you?
What's new with me? What the fuck
is up with you guys? I got one guy
flying in the sky and then now he's
motorcycling trying to kill himself. Another guy
gets out of prison. Now he's jacking.
Are you
selling yourself on freaking OnlyFans?
There's a sex slavery now. It's like, wow.
I've been away for a couple of years
and the world goes crazy. Oh my gosh. it's good to be back i missed you guys and uh life is good
can't complain but those paintball guns behind you yeah that's my yes they are it's like a
die damn there yeah two die dams that went up there as that's actually an airsoft gun and i
just uh shot a commercial tv commercial with that
cool and uh they wanted me to play a uh a soldier and um i and i said i i don't have any we need an
airsoft gun because i'm not going to bring my real steel to the set and uh because the paintball
stuff is not realistic looking when you get up close type of thing so i told them to pick up
something cheap and i they pick up this little ar
uh gem and uh we shot a commercial had a rain machine and everything i should be coming out
in the states in a little while so that's pretty fun nice wow but yeah still doing the paintball
thing still you know you've gone hollywood on us though you weren't shooting commercials or tv
before i actually was uh oh yeah yeah yeah Yeah, like back, I started out like doing
a little bit of acting, and I worked in the music
video industry and
commercial industry back in the day,
because we probably discussed that years ago, but
I work as a guy named Director X,
and we shoot like Puffy's videos,
we shoot Drake's
videos, we shoot pretty much anything
that's top ten, we've
done it.
I stepped back to do my professional paintballing stuff, but
we just nominated for
a VMA for Popstar by Drake
starring Justin Bieber
and a couple other videos there.
We got Karen Evans. She's an amazing
director also.
She's been doing TV shows and stuff.
We didn't know you were cool. You should have mentioned that.
Those are some household names.
We thought you were pretty uncool.
That's what they were all saying.
That's my life.
Dre and then there's Wolf, the paintball guy.
I took a backseat to the TV and music video stuff Wolf, the paintball guy. And, you know, I took a backseat to the TV
and music video stuff to
do my paintball stuff. And people think I'm
crazy, but, you know, I don't ever
feel like I'm working type of thing.
If you look around, like if you look on
Drake's videos from the bottom,
you'll see me dancing in the background
with a black shirt and a camouflage hat.
And it's like, I keeps it
real, baby. I keeps it real baby i keeps it real
did you demand to be in the back like no no that was a director's idea because i just you know i
was on set we're doing stuff he goes okay everyone looked like they're in a club scene and like
everyone's wearing black and i just have my camouflage hat with a canadian flag on it and i
just uh you know my guy just said you know what just go in there and dance with that chick i said okay i'm the old guy in the club as chris rock
says but i'm doing my thing you know i mean so it was crazy it's fun lots of experiences none of us
have been in any music videos or you know what kyle have you yeah oh yeah i mean he's been on a Super Bowl commercial for Pete's sake
yeah but
what song was it
it doesn't matter
I don't think it was
by Drake it wasn't by Drake
you asked if I was in a music video
that was the question
it doesn't have to be for Drake or Justin Bieber
back up dancer the question was have you been have to be for Drake or Justin Bieber. Ariana Grande, backup dancer?
The question was, have you been in a music video?
And I answered it.
Bullseye.
I mean, that's still...
Woody and I have no experience in a music video.
Although you did win a dance competition.
Yeah.
I guess I'm the loser.
Oh my gosh, that's hilarious.
Yeah, I've had some experiences man so it's it's
now i just you know flying helicopters and shooting people's paintball guns and stuff
at the same time you're shooting people from the helicopter yeah we've done i've done a couple
games like that where they've hired a chopper and i've taken like one of those with my box
mag out and had 300 rounds going out of the helicopter in the sky so are you like part of the the scenario yeah like dodge the helicopter man it's well yeah i get the
hell out of the way when you see us flying by type of situation but it was fun and i'll throw
smoke grenades out and stuff and is it done to level the playing field like like team a
smashing team b so you come and just mow down A a little bit?
Essentially, yes.
When things are getting a little out of hand and we're pushing the base too much
and you didn't want to spawn camp the other team,
it's not fun for anybody when you're spawn
camping.
Well, it's fun for whoever spawns camp.
Well, not really, because even if
you're killing the guys in their spawn,
it's like, what fun is that?
Oh, I enjoy it.
I managed to get my die down.
I crawled through the thickest nonsense ever at CPX one year and got all the way to the enemy spawn.
And just, I don't know, I shot a thousand rounds before I was empty and then left.
I exclusively play against nine-year-old girls so I can get the same experience.
Right.
The other parents hate it since I don't have a child.
When we did those scenario games, my trick to having fun was cheating.
And just like wiping off when I got shot and being like, no.
And it's like, what are you going to do?
Shoot me again.
I'll wipe it again, idiot.
I'm not going to do? Shoot me again? I'll wipe it again, idiot. I'm not wiping it
a half mile back
and a half mile in.
Yeah, because that just gives me
license to let loose.
That's fine. Shoot me 100 times.
I'll wipe 101 times.
That seems unnecessary.
At that point, you just show it off, Taylor. Well, it got to that point you just show it off taylor well it got to that i remember when we were doing that
scenario game i think it was woody what he was coming we're all sweaty as shit we had pushed
them into their spawn point so much that like if you got shot on our end we had to walk literally
over a half mile like three quarters of a mile back tag and then come back in and i
remember like seeing woody a few times and like we'd been hit similar times and what he's like
how'd you get back here so fast i never left i pretty much what i really did is i would wipe it
off walk to a tree that wasn't part of the battle and then stands there what i thought was an
appropriate amount of time yeah that seems fair
i did the same i was like i was like what they really want is me to be out of the game for 15
minutes that's what's fair so i'm gonna go back here and get my water out and drink it and just
chill for 15 minutes and then i'll come back that seems fair yeah that walk would be a hell
because it was so goddamn hot like like i don't remember were we playing in
june or july or some shit in chicago it was the beginning of june oh may bro is the end of may
it was still brutal it was brutal like it worked out like and you know that feels gone all right
yeah yeah yeah oh yeah paul and the boys the the uh they sold that thing and made a fucking
killing yeah good for them was that the year that like'm glad. It was so hot, and there was that sewage poo leak.
They always had that problem.
It smelled like shit.
A very distinct aroma when you left.
This is what war smells like.
This is real.
It's something about what the topsoil is like in that area, and then it mixes with the gelatin that the paintballs are based with, and then
you have low-lying areas, so you end up
with a mud hole or whatever, and that
just sits there and gets nastier
and nastier and nastier, and it really does
become... If you go back to when White
Boy was dolphin diving in that
shit, he was dolphin diving
into some putrid, disgusting
shit. It was so filthy.
It's better than a real job. It's better than a real job.
It's better than a real job.
That's true, but after he did...
There was a shower right after.
All you guys judging.
It's still better than a real job.
I think I washed him down with a fucking yard hose after that.
You did, because
there was an indoor shower and no one was
cool with him using it in his state.
Because he was covered in actual shit.
I had to like blast him with a garden hose before he was clean enough to use like an indoor shop shower.
Like it was so filthy.
But that game, like the big one now, well, Living Legends still happens, but it hasn't come back to that craziness.
The crazier and now is Ion, Skirmish Ion.
That's 4,500 players. Where does it take place? Thatirmish. Ion that's 4,500 players.
Where does it take place?
That's cool.
I think it's Pennsylvania.
I think.
Oh shit.
That's too far.
Invasion of Normandy.
Invasion of Normandy.
That's awesome.
That's the biggest one in the world.
At the,
what was it called?
Legends.
What was the one that I went?
Living legends.
Yeah.
Living legends.
Yeah.
Living legends.
12,
16 talented paintballers
could make a difference they could like push back the crowd to some extent you know because
most of the people are just drones like me you know that if i was in star wars i'd be dressed
in white i'm just one of those guys but then there's a couple heroes who are good at this game 16 jedis yeah 16 jedis
come in and make a difference that's perfect yeah when there's 4500 people what does it take to have
any impact on winning or losing um that's pure organizational skills and there's the tanks
they're insane like they got if you look on my youtube channel they got a tank there called the mine heron and it's got like uh external cameras all around it so when you're inside the cabin you
got a 360 degree view and it's got night vision on it it's got uh it shoots out smoke grenades
it's got four different ports for gunners and you've got like six tanks going around stuff
like that you've got tank commanders
you got full battalions going out there like it's so it's like the generals putting the tanks in the
right spot and the tanks being talented and there's still a bunch of star troopers but they're just
cannon fodder but you need like instead of you know a dozen guys there's a good strong team of
like a hundred like there's a guy there's a crew there, I think it's the 101st
Airborne, and they find the American
side. But these guys like fly
all over from Europe,
Canada, America, and
it's like a religion to play
together for this specific game. Not so much from Germany.
We get
guys from Germany there, and they're not always on
the American, they're not
necessarily on the German team.
Oh, your cosplay is amazing.
This is vintage.
When I've done those scenario games, I always like being on the defending side
because I feel like you're more likely to win no matter what.
Unless it's like a Civil War reenactment
where you make sure the Normandy side wins.
Then I would want to obviously be on Normandy.
Well, this one, when you're relieved from the beach attack,
because they have boats
in a big, massive open field
that's three football fields long,
the boats come down, and you've got
millions of paintballs.
You remember that final battle
on the big hill where the paintballs
are going crazy? Just times that by
10.
It's straight up uh saving private ryan opening scene when those doors go
down and you're running out and everything like i posted a video from that on my tiktok and i've
got like a million views on one day because it was so insane wow but the intensity was like it was
it was it will set you back for a second because you didn't think there could be that many people playing paintball at the same time.
Well, I remember the top. So what it was was you had to, like, grab a flag at the top of that hill.
And both sides are just laying fire towards the flag, assuming that they're going to hit the other guy.
But like, if you pop up, you're going to get hit arguably more times in the back
from your own team than you are in the front.
And so it was like, I remember there was just a brief little line
of four titans who were just taking turns getting absolutely pummeled.
And if you weren't there, you might not know.
Wolf is in the character, screaming at you like you're in a real war which is a good
thing because it's inspiring it's getting you in the middle of it you don't want a commander who's
like after this uh we have uh we're catering white castle for every like no this is for everything
families back home it was like i'm getting amped up this is is great. Well, the thing is, you know what?
Even though I'm very fortunate to play this game like every weekend
and fly all over the world and stuff, but when you're there,
I treat every game like it's the last game you're going to play
because some of these people, they work overtime for a long time
just to play this one event, right?
So I want every chance they get to be insane and intense,
and I want them going
home with stories so yeah you know i lose my voice after every event because that's how it
and i play with like paid to do your side of the event are you uh like staff i was thinking yeah
like if i were to hold an event i'd want to make sure you were there and i don't get into specifics
i want you to have fun but i also want you to have to make everyone else have fun, which is what you do.
Yeah.
Well, I'm a bit of a draw.
And at the same time, I'm also good for promoting these events.
And I like making trailers and stuff like that.
So, you know, it's to get me out to a field.
You cover a certain amount.
And, you know, I do what I can for you to bring those numbers up every year.
You know what I mean?
If you're making money, I'm going to make a little bit of money. And just everyone's going to numbers up every year. You know what I mean? If you're making money, I'm going to make a little bit of money,
and just everyone's going to have a better time with it.
You know what I mean?
And it's like –
It's a win to get you there for everyone involved.
Well, yeah, and that's what my goal is.
Like, I feel like crap if they're, you know, flying me out there,
and I'm not – you know, numbers are decreasing and stuff.
You know what I mean?
And it's like it was a trip because uh a year ago they flew me out
to mexico to play you want to play payball like a man holy no no i don't want that
i don't care about the insurance you know what i mean like they're drinking like it's funny because
normally my thing is when i go to a game i'm like okay guys you know there's no drinking on the
field and make sure you're hydrated and i don't want you to fall from the heat and i go there and i
do my regular wolf paintball speech and make sure you're hydrated and you know don't be drinking and
they start laughing at me and everything laughing like there's no barrel covers in the staging area
like everyone's just walking guns out we're going out to the field. First of all,
the field was not a field. It was just
some patch of
Sicario land
that some
drug dealers let them use,
which I didn't know about until after because I would have
peed my pants.
There's like, oh, one guy goes,
oh, don't go there. That's a
tarantula nest, so don't go there, don't go there. That's a tarantula nest.
So don't go there.
Snakes over there.
And that's a cliff.
And you'll die if you go there.
So it's like, and they're, you know, walking out to play and they got their mask up and they're drinking cervezas.
And I'm like, oh, my gosh, this is insane.
But it was so cool, though.
It's like, yeah, the the other team is the least of your worries.
It's so cool, though.
It's like, yeah, the the other team is the least of your worries.
It's legit, like, you know, watch your six type of stuff.
But it felt good, though.
You know what I mean?
So do you always use like the the realistic looking guns when you do these scenarios? Always.
That's good.
That's because I remember you were I remember seeing you wearing an amount of clothes that i would describe as smothering
in that heat and being like that guy's so committed he had like ebion bottles like a
bandolier i go i go out full milsom tactical every single time i don't i find it it's like
a challenge to myself to try and push myself as much as I can. And there's a lot of guys out there who wears,
sometimes wear more stuff than I do, but I just, I, I just see it like,
you know,
I'm not comparing myself to like real soldiers or anything like that,
but I'm thinking if those guys can go out in the bush and in Afghanistan and
do it for, you know, six months straight, I can handle it for two days.
You know what I mean? Like man F up and just,
I go out there and like i played in like
los angeles and it was like 114 outside people are dropping like flies and stuff like that and
i'm like i just kept going and it's like you know i get home i do hot yoga to you know to
assimilate myself and stuff like that and it's like did the dog come and eat your potato he ate your whole potato
but yeah man
I wear the full gear
the full camouflage
I got aqua packs, I got radio sets
the whole deal
I look like a Call of Duty character every game
do all of those
guns behind you shoot those
winged balls
that go more accurately?
Oh, the first strike rounds. Yeah.
Those are the new... Well, they're not new.
I don't know. Not new anymore.
No, they're not. If you're
watching this or watching...
Essentially, they're called first strike rounds,
and they're paintballs, and they have fins
on them, and they go about double the distance
of a regular paintball.
So we call them, you know, sniper rounds, first strike rounds.
My thigh dams will shoot those pretty most magazine fed paintball guns will shoot those things.
So they're they're a game changer because I've done videos where I'm shooting with my box mag and I can't reach you guys.
I'll just eject that, put in a magazine magazine, refer to our grounds, and I'll just
boom, hit them in the headshot type of thing.
And that's where scopes
actually work with those things.
I've got a scope on that one,
Supremacy Scope, and it's
dialed in for 120 yards.
And then it's got recticles
where it just works.
It's really cool.
It's a game changer in
certain situations. I'm more used to
using the rental tipmans where you
have to have a vibe for the wind.
Yeah.
The best you can hope
for is that instead of going like
it goes down.
Then it's like, oh, I remember
T-Mart and I got a couple that went down
and we're like, we're bunker busters.
We're like archers getting right behind the bunker i used to think it was your fault because you guys would complain about your equipment and i'm like sure
i'll admit your equipment's not as good but i mean it's the carpenter not the hammer right
until i had to use one yeah i thought it would curve in the same path all the time.
No.
There's a random element to this thing.
You can't aim it.
What's the markers around your mothers too, right?
So like some wool have amazing grouping.
Like my dam, when I have it dialed in, the grouping is like awesome, right?
For a certain distance.
But some you're like, you know what I mean? That's killing by volume at a certain distance but some you're like you know i mean
that's killing by volume at a certain point you get what you pay for yeah you get what you pay
for in paintball to some extent there's diminishing returns on the top end but that's the same i mean
same with ar-15s or like real guns you know like you're gonna get what you're paying for so many
things you know i could say stereo speakers are like that. Oh, for sure. When you go from 100 to 400, they get notably better.
When you go from 400 to 1,000, maybe some people can tell the difference.
From 1,000 to 3,000, I can't tell the difference.
But here's the thing, though.
The higher you pay, the more problems you can have with it.
You know what I mean?
For instance, I drive a Range Rover Sport, and my friend with a Honda has never been to the shop with their car. You know what i mean like for instance i i drive a range rover sport and my friend with a honda has never been to the shop with their car you know what i mean so but
my mind is in there like right now for like a freaking brake sensor type of thing you know
what i mean so yeah and so the di dam is going to have more problems than your basic tippman will
you know what i mean so with that increase in cost and you're going to have a sand of reliability is going to be it's going to be a little more quirky type of thing.
I forget what buying was an empire axe.
Maybe.
Does that sound like?
Yeah.
The axe was the good one.
We got to use the second time we went.
That made it 10 times more fun than me.
I know that there are better ones, but that one to me was like, you know, where the diminishing returns start.
That thing is really good.
Anytime something didn't work right, usually I messed up or you get a bad feed now and then.
And the axe was like an entry level.
Oh.
Yep.
But it's the start that's good, I would argue.
It's just above the tipman.
Yeah.
To me, the gulf between the tipman and the axe was huge.
Yeah.
Maybe it was the hopper.
Yeah, the hopper was a huge difference.
I got so many of those axes now.
I think I've got maybe 10 axes or something like that.
I mean, all of the ones we had are mine.
I mean, you kept yours.
You got to keep yours.
Mine used to be yours.
Yours was for you.
Yours was for you.
I think that's what they told me.
This is a higher-end speedball gun, a space gun. Yeah. Yours was for you. This is a higher end speedball
gun, a space gun.
This is my
die M3.
This goes for a pretty penny.
They wouldn't let me carry that on. They said it looked too much
like a real gun.
What gun?
It looked much like that. It was my axe.
It wasn't this, but no one would not
let you carry it. I don't know who you're talking to.
Oh, I promise you it really happened.
And I held out the – I had the instructions printed out that said you could take paintball equipment so long as it was decompressed and everything.
Are you talking about a plane?
Yes.
Oh.
What did I say?
Did I not say it clearly?
It sounded like you were talking like taking it onto a field.
Oh, my mistake.
No, this is to an airplane.
And as I was checking in, they saw it. And I was like, this is a field oh my mistake no this is this is to an airplane and as i was
checking in they saw it and i was like this is a paintball gun it's here are your airlines rules
that say you can bring paintball guns so long as they're not uh like compression as long as the
compressed air is still not in it and uh they're like well it looks too much like a real gun we
also have rules that say you can't bring like things that look like guns and they had to check
it yeah i always do that like um um what we were always what kitty always said was like uh just
just check it like a firearm so i would always just go go to the place where you check firearms
and be like hey this is where you check firearms like yeah what do you got i'm like it's a paintball
gun but they're not gonna believe that up there they're like oh they'll believe it i'm like look
at this and it's like it's like an ar-15 they're like oh that this is up there. They're like, they'll believe it. I'm like, look at this. It's like an AR-15.
They're like, oh, this is a paintball gun.
I'm like, you see where the problem comes in now.
They're like, yeah, yeah, we better
swab this and check it through as a gun.
I forget, I had a
photographer friend, and
you guys would know, but listeners might not.
When you get a good camera and a bunch of
lenses, that can reach $50,000.
He would put a gun in with his video equipment because the airline wouldn't lose that shit.
They paid special attention to the way they tracked it.
I don't know if it's true, but he said it was.
Oh, it's true.
That shit's getting – that's all by itself over there, the guns are.
Yeah, that has a whole different protocol.
They don't care how much your bag of electronics
costs, but if they lose a Glock, they're in trouble.
Interesting.
I have a friend, you probably know
Kalai Noir.
Black guy.
You should have him on the show because he's
totally awesome, dude.
When he travels, he travels a lot like I do.
I never have any problems because it's a paintball
marker, but I let them know first.
He actually has his own line of troughs a lot like I do. I never have any problems because it's a paintball marker, but I let them know first.
He actually has his own line of
safes
for handguns and stuff like that.
Is it biometric
with your fingerprint?
Yeah.
He's got the whole system laid out. He knows
every state law when it comes to flying
with firearms and stuff. I've never had a problem with traveling with these things because
you know as kyle said you let them know what you're traveling with beforehand you know you
don't do it carry on you always you're always going to check it and it's you know it's funny
because i always have to go through the extra large scanner, the X-ray machine.
And for some reason, they always put the dumbest people on those machines.
And it's like, like, like, you know, an 80-year-old woman who's never seen a paintball gun before hardly speaks English for some reason.
And it's like, it's a paintball gun.
See, I'll have paintballs in the bag with it.
And it shoots this.
You go, no, it looks like a real
gun. No. She has to call
a supervisor over. He's like, oh, it's fine.
He's like, oh, my gosh.
Finally, you make it through, and you whisper to her,
it is a real gun.
I told you.
You told them again. You tricked them again,
boys. Come on. You're responsible.
It's time to happen.
But, yeah, it never fails.
But yeah, as long as you're saying the right stuff beforehand, they're 99% cool.
The only one who's not cool is Air Canada.
And they have a thing with guns.
And I don't know what was Canada.
But I had to fill out the real
firearms paperwork for that and it felt really stupid because it's practically a kid's toy right
so yeah like they're checking the paintball gun a lot but not the paintballs right you can get
some batman shit in there what are they poisoned japanese subways with
maybe i feel like there's some nerve gas they use. I can't remember the name of it.
So what, paintballs?
No, no, no. They poison that Japanese subway with it.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, right? So legit paintball gun, illegitimate paintballs. That's the trick.
Well, I have pepper balls, too.
I was about to say the pepper balls, yeah.
Bring those to a tournament you're gonna win
yeah
you hit someone they're out all day
didn't you get hit on purpose with that
oh no you got hit with pepper spray
pepper spray yeah
it's not so bad
but pain doesn't have a good memory
maybe you're right though I don't know I've never been pepper
sprayed but something about pain is absolutely awful to endure and then even one hour later
it's like yeah you know i tough through it it's okay um the the it's it's not that it hurts so
much it's sort of you have like a a physical reaction to it where it feels it feels like
your eyelids are like flipping up on their own like turning inside out like your eyes won't open
like you can't force them open because your,
your,
your body's reacting.
Like don't open them.
You're dying.
Um,
I dunked my,
we poured a whole gallon of milk into my eyes and then just water for a
long fucking time.
And after an hour I was like a hundred percent again.
Um,
but that video is so funny because like in the,
in the unedited footage,
obviously I'm all fucked up. So like immediately, like in the, in the unedited footage, obviously
I'm all fucked up.
So like immediately, like I've, I've walked off camera, we're putting the milk in my eyes
and I get back home to edit the video and I go to cut right there.
But I noticed like, it's still rolling.
And my dad has gone in front of the camera and picked the gun up.
He's like, Hey there guys, FPS rushes dad here.
Seems like he made a bit of a mistake today, huh?
Well, let's see if we can hit those targets.
And he like ping, ping.
He pops all the targets and stuff.
Yeah, yeah.
Well, hopefully he recovers in time for the next video.
We all have a good day.
That would have been fun.
I wish you could have used that.
If he had a Russian accent, you could have used it.
Right, right.
If he wouldn't have done the accent, that would have been hilarious.
If he wouldn't have done the accent, you're like, don't believe him.
My dad, he likes to play and do fake accents for audience.
He pretend to be from South and he nail it, you know?
That would be a good one.
I remember like probably the first time I went to play organized paintball,
I was 10
and you know how like those childlike rumors spread around everything there was this one kid
that had us all convinced that the biggest threat in paintball was that some adults had
high tier guns that would freeze the paintball as they were about to shoot it and like shoot a
frozen paintball and so we all had like a fear of it, even though I remember in my head,
even at that age thinking like,
but what do they have to gain?
But it goes farther and it shoots straighter.
Taylor is what he said.
And I'm like,
but,
but it's not going to pop.
Like it would be tremendously painful,
but we wouldn't be out.
And they were like,
that's what they do.
They just keep shooting you until you give up.
And I was just like, what kind of household did Jerry come from, frankly?
And then he's this afraid of it.
But yeah, it ended up being a lot.
So annoying because that is still after paintball has been around for almost 40 years.
That is still the number two thing.
The number two myth about paintball that you read about or hear begs the question
because i like i just did a post on tiktok and it got like uh it just went up to 11 million views
for one video and i was showing the difference between the first right ground and a regular
paintball most basic stupid video that went like just shot viral for no reason and the number one uh question are people saying
oh we freeze those and shoot them at people and it's like it's such a myth because you can't
really freeze them and they won't last in your gun first of all they're like uh they're gelatin
based caps like there's almost impossible to freeze these things.
You need like liquid nitrogen for them to stay.
It's comparable to like motor oil.
You put it in the freezer.
It doesn't freeze.
Exactly.
And even if you did freeze them,
like I tested it myself on my show and I,
you know,
I took it out of the freezer.
It was frozen like a little bit,
put it in my gun.
By the time I got outside the,
the,
the gel that encapsulates it like
was destroyed after being frozen so when it shot it was just like mush when it thawed out yeah if
people don't know the inside of a paintball is like an oily paint and the outside of a paintball
how do you describe that like what you use for a gel bath things when you throw,
you know,
remember those things that you put them in the bathroom.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Oh yeah.
Like a,
like a bath gel.
Right.
Right.
Or like,
it's almost like a circular Ziploc bag.
Like if it were wet,
like that part goes away.
It has an odd consistency because like,
you know,
when they break,
like it can be kind of like eggshell and it likes to cut you sometimes.
Like if,
if,
if like,
if the, like, like sometimes they they go through the holes in my mask
and splatter on my neck and face
and you get these little cuts.
At the same time, it's sort of bouncy
when you squeeze it. It's a weird consistency.
They'll bounce if you drop them.
Can you squeeze it a little bit? It's off camera.
That's where it breaks.
You can squeeze it a little bit
but oh yeah if you hold a paintball you can deform it a touch it's a little no no they're
pretty solid bro like you can't really yeah if you if you squeeze it enough to deform it
it's gonna pop maybe i'm wrong well so wolf would know what is. You said that's the second most common myth or misconception.
Oh, that it hurts really bad.
Oh, that it hurts.
That part's true. You lying son of a monkey.
No, it hurts a lot.
It is awful.
My thing, hold on.
It's like getting hit with an elastic band.
Like if my 15-year-old son
plays and he's been playing since he was 10.
So my thing is, if a 10-year-old
can handle paintball weekend after weekend,
a grown-ass man can handle it.
You know what I mean?
I can prove that not true.
Depends where you get hit.
That's actually incorrect.
If you're a 10-year-old,
it depends.
It depends where you get hit.
It depends how fast it's going right you know
up like i've been shot like up close and personal on bear skin that stings a little
uh and it depends how many times you get hit like i've never been hit once where it was like a big
deal but something about like the accumulative effect of being lit the fuck up like if you get
shot like 10 12 times like but look at it this way though that hurts you you guys played you guys played in the
big leagues right like you've played in oh yeah living legends like which is one of the most
intense games in the world not your average kid is going to be playing in that like you're going
to start off with your regular small paintball field and you're gonna have like a hopper full
of 80 rounds that cost 500 bucks but you know i mean and it's like you'll get hit once and the thing is with
paintball when the adrenaline is running and you got you know their overalls on especially when i
have my you know plate carrier and all that stuff it's like if you're playing with normal people
it's not going to hurt as much especially but if you're like staying in your background backyard
and someone shoots you with a paintball gun that's going to hurt more because you're like
anticipating it.
There's no adrenaline running.
You know what I mean?
Yeah,
for sure.
My problem is I've never gone a weekend without being shot in the face.
And that's,
and he doesn't mean in the face mask.
Oh yeah,
no.
So I didn't realize it.
Kyle explained it.
Do I have a competition face mask?
That's small and maybe really low profile.
Okay.
So my face is a little too big for
it. And that means that my chin
sticks out just a touch and
my forehead is uncovered.
And like last time I played, I got shot in the
forehead from like
six inches away.
Right? It's a rough one.
A time before I got shot in the
chin just below my mask
twice in the same spot
playing with like they don't believe in mercying people and stuff no no it was his teammates
the teammate like barrel sweeps him and shoots him in the fucking face right next yeah
oh yeah exactly he was holding so what happened was i was like running into a door
like i basically i i did like a brave thing shot my things and then i was retreating back to cover and maybe he didn't know i was on a team or maybe he was just careless but
he shot me in the face from a foot away yeah we were in uh it was in chicago at um what is the
place nitro or something anyway uh not in chicago no it wasn't chicago right it's that other place
that's like that that's like more in the city in any case like we were indoors like sort of cqb and the enemy was
like 20 yards away at the most and uh yeah i i had it on my like helmet camera but i could never
find the footage of it but um yeah he got blasted right in the fucking face it was bad and it looked
bad too it swelled up real big and i could tell at that point woody was done for the day
the other time i think i kept
playing when i got shot in the chair but it's embarrassing like like your face is deformed
you've got a a big like like knot on your head let's take a picture yeah and it looks like
there's a golf ball trying to emerge from my forehead and blood is like seeping slowly out of it i put a band-aid
on it just for everybody else's comfort but it doesn't really hide it i don't know how you
son does it i have no words it was bad yeah yeah it was um i think it was i don't remember which
model but it was they were dye face mask and they're like they are really low profile
oh the older ones. Yeah.
And,
uh,
you know,
they,
I don't know.
They fit my head a little bit better.
I think,
um,
they can,
they cover me up pretty nicely.
And sometimes I'll usually put,
um,
like a bandana type thing on like a head wrap.
That's what you're supposed to do.
Everyone has,
whereas,
you know,
you know,
I lose,
I like to soak the headband in water.
It kind of keeps you a little bit cooler throughout the day to little heat
sink up there on your noggin.
And, uh, I always talk to my, talk to little heat sink up there on your noggin. And,
uh,
I always talk to my,
my channel.
He knows what he's doing.
He does.
He does.
I'm always trying to,
I think I've said this before.
So quickly,
you know,
when you're in the 95 degree heat,
there's that one guy who can handle it very well.
He's the one who's draining the first one to get dehydrated.
The first one to like suffer from heat exhaustion.
That's me.
That's you.
I'm always weighing the balance between like – you know what a padded paintball jersey is like.
It's insulated more or less.
And you put a hat on and a bandana.
And before long, you are cooking in the Chicago summer.
And it's – so I try to find this balance between how much I'm cooking
and how much I'm cooking and how much
i'm getting hurt and uh i've worn a lot of different gear over the years and i think my
favorite shit is the tactical shit that is like so thin like it's the lightest like uh synthetic
fabric ever you got to be fit to wear that shit or you are you it's like you ever see like a
cyclist wearing that cyclist uniform they wear when they're out on the roads?
You got to be so goddamn fit to wear that shit and not have titties and a gut.
It'll be a guy who's legit pretty fucking fit.
Maybe he doesn't have a six-pack.
Maybe he's not lean as fuck.
But he's not fat.
But in that, it's like, whew, you need to be on that bike.
Pedal a little faster, fucker.
Fly the hill. Come come on pick it up
but uh but no i like that really really thin shit and um i i don't know i've played both ways i've
played like speedball marker and and you know like to run around and just spray with that thing but i
also like the tactical shit too i've got the dam and i've got a um what is a geo i think i've got
a geo are you talking about a shirt that's
very thin yeah is it dry fit that i always not no like dry fit is is still sort of like cotton
this shit is like completely synthetic and it's like um i don't know it's so it's like if you've
ever had like um like basketball shorts and you like you like you feel it's like three layers
you've got like two two synthetic layers layers sandwiching like some cotton or something it would be like if you had a shirt made out of
just one of those synthetic layers like i mean it is paper thin like it's almost like you feel
naked out there the wind's just penetrating it perfectly you feel a good wind too it cools you
down yeah it cools you down really well um but but no i mean you're out there all day running
around trucking around and what's not an insignificant amount of weight if you've got like a full pack of uh pods and your paintball gun and your uh your tank and
your mask and everything you're carrying around an extra 20 pounds or something like that and
then you're trucking it all day i would work out before an event like i would start like six weeks
prior like like doing cardio and like you know running hills and stuff because because like i
remember the first event i did at cpx was just like an fps russia running hills and stuff. Cause, cause like, I remember the first event I did at CPX was just like an FPS Russia fan event. And like several hundred kids showed up to play with
me and plunked down like $150 or something like that. And it was like, I gotta be out there every
round. I feel like I'm letting everybody down. If like FPS Russia is not out there to play,
like they're there for me. They don't care about playing paintball. They're here to play paintball
with me. So like, I can't take a round off. So I played every about playing paintball. They're here to play paintball with me. I can't take a round off. I played every round
of paintball for two straight days.
On day two, I could barely walk.
I could barely fucking walk.
I just did a workout.
I posted it on my Instagram.
Someone showed me this.
I have a treadmill.
You put the treadmill on the full
incline. You carry two
30-pound weights and you just walk for half an hour.
And I go, oh, wow, that sounds like a piece of cake.
No, it doesn't.
I was so – I carried my full kit.
Your forearms.
My forearms.
I had my full kit on.
I had 30 pounds in my backpack on at the same time because I thought I was going to be a breeze.
And by the time I was done, I was drenched in sweat.
Don't be a sissy.
Your son does it every weekend.
Speed was on like 1.5.
You know what I mean?
And it was like,
I would do that slow walk for half an hour incline.
It was,
it was,
Oh,
I couldn't,
I couldn't lift anything for,
I couldn't work out after that.
It was,
I do a lot of farmers carries.
Obviously I'm not walking for 30 minutes. i do like three or four sets to failure
you know i just i'll pick up like a 90 pound dumbbell each hand and just walk until i can't
hold it anymore i'll just i'll just drop them on the floor just walking like laps in the gym but
there's a fireman who comes in sometimes while i'm working out and uh he puts on his full fireman
gear like like the o2 tank the full heavy coat and pant,
like everything he would be wearing if he was like walking into a fire and he
gets on the Stairmaster and he goes.
Yeah.
Like once he's done with that,
he goes over and starts doing dips and fucking chin ups with the full gear.
And like, yeah, full gear.
Like, I don't know how much it weighs.
I don't know how much that O2 tank weighs.
I'm sure it's carbon fiber and like as light as tech can make it but it looks heavy and and when
he comes out of it he's fucking drenched he he's one of those guys that brings the full gallon
jug of water with him to the gym and and sometimes when i see that i'm like come on bro who needs a
gallon but for him i'm like you might need to refill that before you're done here tonight, man.
You're killing it.
Yeah.
He hits it so fucking hard.
That's the guy I want saving me.
That's the guy you want coming for you, not some dainty little.
I don't want someone.
Not me.
I'm an equal opportunity firefighter hirer.
Yeah.
Get in there.
Kyle's burning.
I want a hot chick saving me. That's what I'm looking for. Kyle's in there! Kyle's burning! I want a hot chick saving me.
That's what I'm looking for.
Kyle's in there. He's 6'2", 194.
He's down and out. You're gonna have to
kick the door in and get him out.
Shit.
Where's DeAndre?
He was at the gym last night
hitting it hard.
I want DeAndre coming for me, because I've
seen what he can do.
DeAndre can throw me over his shoulder and get me out of there.
No problem.
He could throw me on his shoulder and do that fucking Stairmaster if he wanted to.
That's a big boy.
By the time the woman got through the door to save you, you'd probably only weigh 60,
70 pounds.
Yeah.
There'd be very little of me left.
You know what?
To be fair though, like I had a girlfriend in high school her
name was dawn and she made she was one of the first women to make it on etf which is uh pretty
much toronto swat and um like when she got you know i saw her a couple years after uh high school
she was stacked you know what i mean like she was like look like a body you know what i mean so this is always the counter argument big titties no yeah like what about ronda rousey would you
let ronda rousey save you it's like just no no no no look what is she gonna wrestle that door
she's pretty strong though and she's a judo person she can carry people
true she can flip people i don't know if she can carry people for long distances. I saw that picture of her
nude last night and they hyper
zoom in on her vagina. She's got
that weird moose knuckle thing going on.
It's an older picture, right?
The comment was like, even her pussy has
cauliflower ear.
That's rough.
Google that, guys. Celeb NSFW.
That's the subreddit you want to go to. It's good stuff.
She's really hot. They weren't supposed to release that picture, by the way.
It's kind of shitty they did.
She's covering her tits up,
but it's a full body shot.
They're supposed to crop it at her
waist. In any case,
I don't know, man. There's no way
Ronda Rousey
can truck up some stairs
and fire gear and save a grown-ass man
as effectively as taylor can
yeah like like right now there's just no way no way like i was disagreeing with you until you got
to the end like like i believe she could get up there and do it and then you added as effectively
as taylor and it's like well no not as good as taylor not as good as a guy untrained, some dude. Some dude who can fucking bench over 300 pounds and outweighs more than the person he's saving, right?
That's what you want.
You don't want someone who is pushing what they can do to their limits.
She's like 8 or 9 out of 10 with everything she's got to save me.
Taylor's still at like a 6 out of 10, right?
You want to be able to get in there and
save the person and then deal with any adversity that might come up we're talking about this
magical scenario where okay you go up the stairs third door on the left kick the door in he's on
the floor pick him up then get him out what if a fucking bean falls what if like what if there's a
kid too what if it's me and my son well leave, leave the son, first of all, and take me.
But if you have to say my hypothetical bastard son,
then I think Taylor can get me and a toddler out.
I'll get you out of there.
Get me out of there.
I'll prioritize you.
Prioritize me.
I know you better than your fake son.
The son just represents years of child support payments leave him yeah
i'm like easily carrying kyle like oh no
theoretically i'm i'm of i'm of the mind that you know i'm an equal opportunity employer but i was
watching footage from uh afghanistan and i saw these go you know these Platoon of soldiers holding Back guys from the airport
And it's a pure on
Shoving match right and it's like
You know you got thousands of Afghanis
Trying to get into the airport you see these
Soldiers just pushing them back
You know like when you don't have to
Rely on a gun and it's pure
Energy and power
You know what I'm saying and it's like can a
Woman hold the
line with you like that? Because you just need
one weak link in that line to let
a few guys come in and come up behind
you, right? And it's like,
can a woman do that for a stay?
We always break it down like this.
It's not a woman thing. It's not that
I have an issue with a woman. I don't
want some Nancy boy coming up
there for me either. I don't want some littleancy boy coming up there for me either i don't want some
little fucking 135 pound dude who just barely made the fucking cut coming up there either
i want a bit i want somebody bigger than me coming from me right like where do you find these people
you don't want steve rogers pre-kyle have you met you what i've met me. I'll tell you what, DeAndre's bigger than me.
DeAndre's probably like 6'3", 230, and he may not be lean as fuck,
but he'll drag me right out of the building.
Kyle wants fucking like Jujimufu to backflip in there.
He would be a hell of a backflip.
Jujie, thank you for coming, but why did you bring the dumbbells?
You did farmer's walks in here?
Yeah, well, I have a cup on my back. walks in here on my back he's like on the way out
weighted lunges with flames at his back yeah weighted lunges with me on his back saving my
life like like look i guess he drinks protein i mean steve is a firefighter right steve amy
oches former heavyweight champion of the world in the UFC. That's the motherfucker you want coming for you.
Look, if you want to do something so that women get more directing jobs in Hollywood,
fucking go for it.
I'm not going to watch the shitty movies, but I'm glad that they're getting jobs.
If you want to make sure that enough women are in the front office of professional sports
teams, if you want to make them referees at the NFL games, absolutely.
Great.
Everybody needs to be represented.
Fucking rainbow of colors and shit.
But if I'm burning alive on the third floor, please send me somebody who can handle it.
And I don't mean some little bitch boy is what I'm saying.
More liberal than me on this issue.
I just want it all to be a meritocracy you know that whether it be the guy that needs to get meritocracy and you guys
know but it's not about quality anymore woody it's about for the audience ameritize it's all merit
based right so so if you want to direct a movie then uh you need to be the best at directing
movies if you know there's a fireman you need to be good at that you know there's a big controversy
right now with pbs because uh are you with PBS because you're familiar with Ken Burns.
Yes. Yeah.
So Ken Burns gets a ton of funding from PBS to make those documentaries, a white man.
And there's been a lot of outcry that he's getting so much of that money and that directors of color and female directors and queer directors aren't getting as much funding as Ken Burns.
and female directors and queer directors aren't getting as much funding as Ken Burns.
And so they're trying to cancel Ken Burns to some extent.
But he was smart.
When they asked him about it, they're like, what do you think about this nonsense?
He's like, oh, I think they have a very valid point.
I get it 100%. My network really supports me strongly.
I can see that there's a real disparity there.
And I hope that we can move forward in the future.
And I'm just like, I bet his next documentary is about how PBS is going to fuck him over
because he's about to like, dude makes good documentaries.
Look, I like documentaries.
It's one of my favorite things to watch.
A nice little hour-long segment, learn some shit.
But I don't know.
Getting back to the core thing, if people's lives are going to be on the line, then I
just want someone who is not just barely scraping the bottom edge
of what's acceptable physically to accomplish
that. That goes for cops, firemen,
soldiers who are in active
duty, anything like that
where lives are on the line.
It's kind of nice if you've got somebody who's
above and beyond the
requirements. You want Captain America
coming in there for you. You're such a softie.
I don't care if it's my money on the line.
I want my accountant to be as good as possible.
If it's my prison time on the line,
I want my lawyer to be as good as possible.
You don't want your doctor
to be the guy who got the C in the class, right?
Yeah, but you get to choose
those things, right? You get to
get a second opinion. You get to
fish around, and you get what you pay for many times.
Maybe the accountant who only costs $80 an hour, he's not so great. But the guy who's like $300 an hour,
he's going to find some very creative accounting techniques that won't land you in prison and will
save you some money. Maybe that's a thing. Maybe he knows some tips and secrets. Maybe he's better
at his job.
But you don't get to choose your fireman.
That's the problem.
The legal system is the epitome of that, right? If you get a defense attorney hired by the city who's got 500 cases on his folder and you're just one of the little things versus getting a retainer for $1,500 an hour defense attorney, there's going to be a big difference in how your case
turns out. You still go to
prison.
Can you imagine, Kyle, if you
got in a public defense? You'd still be in
there. Oh, I'd still be in prison, yeah.
You'd be on death row.
It's crazy. It's funny
because I have such a...
My fan base is so very
pro-america type of thing and you know freedom freedom freedom and i'm like and they say oh
canada you're not free and they go but how do you go to jail over weed but that makes no sense and
then people want to claim freedom and stuff it It's like that could not happen in Canada.
You know what I mean?
They don't see what you're allowed to have versus what you have.
And it's like they don't see the little things like that.
There's no reason anyone should get jail time for, what, four grams?
Half an ounce.
So 14 grams.
Who cares?
Even that.
uh half an ounce so uh 14 grams who cares even that like which by the way like was like not even like a month's worth for me like it was concentrate which at the federal level concentrate
smoncentrate like concentrate flour edibles it's all like the same like there's no like i don't
drink i don't smoke i don't i've never smoked weed but I'm Jamaican, so I've been in parties. And you play paintball.
But I'm saying, no, I don't smoke at all, any weed or anything.
I don't do.
But it should be legal.
There's no reason for it not to be.
So why are there so many states down south still slacking on this?
I'm shocked that you don't smoke weed.
Look at all the groups that you're a part of that love weed you're you're a jamaican yep african canadian
who plays paintball and is into like like music industry music oh god you're like if there's a
venn diagram somewhere you are like that tiny little speck in the bottom corner that that like
is is outside it's only you yeah because like like every paintball event i've ever gone to like like
like woody was with me like when i did it i've told the story before but quickly like we wanted
some weed in chicago i did i needed some weed in chicago and uh i was i was walking with woody on
the paintball field like off the field but kind of like out where the picnic tables and shit are
at cpx or was and uh
and i was i saw one of the refs and he's that guy like you might know him like i think um i can't
remember the group but like he's he's a sponsored guy like real long hair big mustache kind of talks
like this bra and he's like five foot nine or something and i'm like oh i think we got i think
we got something here woody i like go over this guy like, hey, man, I don't want to insult you or anything,
but you look like a man who knows where the weed's at.
And he goes, hell yeah, bro.
What do you want?
We had a significant amount of marijuana within a few hours.
It's crazy.
But, yeah, no, I agree with you about the land and the free home
with a brave hypocrisy.
It's some things, yeah, some things with you about the, you know, land of the free home with a brave hypocrisy. You know, it's it's some things.
Yeah.
Some things not so much.
Right.
And even the strip clubs, you got to wear clothes and like that makes no sense.
And I've always said, like, you know, like, what if I was I don't know if it would have
been better or worse if I was black.
Like, like, I think like, you know, like, I think it would have been worse. Would have been worse. I think it would have been worse would have been worse
i think it would have been worse though uh you know better if you weren't on youtube
yeah it would have been it wouldn't have happened if i weren't like me yeah it happened because i'm
me um yeah you know uh and uh i i talked about that a little bit on twitch the other day but
it happened because it was me um and it's whatever you know like like again we like i i put a nightbot thing in my um i just got your message i missed a word
you put a what in nightbot you know the little thing you can type your man in um and it's a
exclamation freedom and it tells you how much time i've got left on my probation so if anybody's ever
out there like i wonder how much time you're's ever out there like, I wonder how much time, you're smoking your blunt, you're like, I wonder
how much time Kyle's got for it. You can hit one of these.
Hop into my Twitch and type exclamation freedom
at any time of the day and it'll let you know. 43
days, 4 hours, 1 minute, and 26 seconds.
That's how long.
That bitch is always ticking down. I'm so
excited. And you go like a blink of an eye. You're in the
final stretch. Oh, we're in the final stretch now.
It's been two fucking years.
And like, but since I've smoked, it's been, let's see, between the time I had, for you that's why the state dropped the charges they had a losing case the feds have a winning case because you you owned firearms it's
like oh shit how much time do i have before the hammer comes down the deal you look you look
confused uh the deal is like no i know i i'm not i'm confused of how stupid that is because you
had oh yeah yeah second amendment bro like it was because the search warrant was invalid. The state had written.
But a state search warrant wasn't required because I've been placed under arrest and I own certain firearms that were registered at that at that domicile.
So they could come in anyway, regardless of search warrants.
So that made the feds that made the evidence they found, you know, like a bong and apparently a gram of weed.
And I wish I'd known that Graham was there i'd have smoked that shit already um the reason i was the reason i had gotten weed was because i was out of weed but
apparently had a gram somewhere they found they got some crumbs up in a drawer somewhere i guess
but um but yeah uh so between the state charges being dropped and the federal charges being played
like coming down on me i was like i asked my lawyer i'm like so i'm like a free man right now
huh because i've been on this state probation for months and uh not not able to do anything not able
to leave the state or do anything really i could still drink alcohol i think um pretty almost
positive because it was but uh i couldn't do anything else and he was like yeah yeah i mean
you do whatever you want and i'm like well what i want to do is fly to denver tonight and get high
as a motherfucker and he's like enjoy i'm like are you serious because I'm on the phone with Delta already and
so like I flew to uh to uh Seattle um I think I flew to I didn't want it like to be part of my
federal case or whatever they're like and your honor just so you know, he just returned from Denver for another
smokecation, I believe he called it.
So I flew into Albuquerque, New Mexico and rented a car and drove to Denver and smoked
for a week.
And then like another month went by and I flew up to Seattle and did the same thing,
stayed up there for about a week, 10 days and smoked it out again. And, uh, and then I had like a couple more months
until like, it was time to like go on probation. So that was sometime in the summer. So it's been
over two years now since I've smoked, it'll be like two years, four months, five months or
something like that by the time it's all said and done. So we got no tolerance. We're heading up
there and, uh, getting real, real good and hydrated.
I'm sure we got some mutual friends up in Colorado too.
Cause I know a couple of people up there with a couple of farming situations
and stuff. So I'm sure we have like, know some common people, but do you,
physically speaking, like physicality,
do you feel a difference after not smoking for a while like do you
do you feel any healthier or less healthy or does it affect you at all you know what i mean like
yeah it's not good for my mental health not to smoke it's easier to get like it's easier to get
bummed out um it's easier to like get stressed out like i've had anxiety and uh and so like like
i kind of need marijuana in my life to keep an even keel. So like, it's easy for me to get bummed out a little depressed,
which is a very common thing. That's why you have medicinal stuff. Right.
So sure. I'm going to get a medical card.
Like that's one of my, my first moves. I'm moving out.
You shouldn't have to man. Like, come on. Yeah.
I'm moving out of the state this fall.
I'm going to go on my little smokecation uh with my boys stay out
there for two weeks maybe a whole month if somebody wants to stay out there with me a little longer
and then i'm coming home and like packing my shit and like leaving the state for good do you think
that you've picked your state for sure it's an immutable final decision or you're yeah yeah i
know where i'm going okay okay you're going up north i take it yeah i go to colorado i'm gonna
move out it's a little
chilly out there you can handle that i love it i love the cold um every time i've like you know
i'm from georgia so it's so hot and muggy down here in the summer like even right now i don't
know what it is like 90 degrees and humid as fuck outside like it's it's terrible but uh every time
i've gone somewhere where it's like blizzards and like the locals are like can you believe this
it's disgusting and i'm just
like i love it can we build a snowman does anybody want to build a snowman and everybody's like no
we don't build a fucking snowman you fucking loser like i'm like a child because growing up we got
snow twice in my life and both times it was just like barely it was so little snow that we'd like
end up with this snowman that was a little muddy because we'd scrape too low in the snow so it's
like a muddy snowman yeah but uh like when we went to killington vermont or the times i've been out to denver in
the winter or down to kill or down to uh telluride in colorado which is really sick i always have a
blast so i'm looking forward to the cold see where's the we're like two sides of the same
coin because i like i don't hate the cold but i love the heat. I'll be in L.A. and Florida.
Oh, it's 110.
It's too hot.
That's why I don't mind wearing my gear when I play, because I love the heat.
I can't get enough of it.
Because I'm Canadian, and there's so much time for cold.
It's like you really appreciate it that much more to be able to go out and swimming pool outside in January.
So that's why I don't complain about the heat that much.
So,
or maybe it's just a Jamaican in me,
but yeah,
you guys are lucky.
You both like things that are easy to come by.
I like the sun,
but not the heat manage that.
Yeah.
I don't know if you can.
Yeah.
That's a little tricky.
Well,
like anyone who lives on the East Coast knows about eight weeks a year,
10 weeks a year, you get that.
You know, on the way into summer and on the way out, it's beautiful.
To come in.
Iceland, I'm just guessing.
I don't know.
Maybe.
I don't know.
Is it cold?
How's the internet there?
I don't know.
Hot chicks, but too cold, brother.
Yeah, I don't know.
But, yeah, I'm super psyched for it.
It's been like, and I've told this before, chicks but too cold brother but yeah i don't know but yeah i'm super psyched for it it's uh it's
been like and i've told i've told this before but i'll just never forget like getting home from jail
not prison but jail and uh like taking a piss in my own bathroom and about getting out of the
shower and being like someday this is all gonna be over and i'll be able to smoke weed again so we just gotta like hold tight just hold it together
a year two years maybe three we'll be out you'd have to be like 36 at the time i don't know what
it is 30 um yeah i'll be 35 i'm 35 now uh so yeah i'm 35 yeah because so like at the time one of the
investigators that i was friends with i asked him
i was like hey man how long is this shit gonna take to get sorted he's like oh man kyle the way
the the wheels of justice turns slow i saw a case it took three years just to get in front of a judge
and i'm like are you fucking kidding me i'm trying to get this shit over with you know and and it did
end up dragging out forever right because it took like another year just to get this shit over with, you know, and, and it, it did end up dragging out forever.
Right.
Because it took like another year just to get sentenced.
And then they give me that time.
And then that two year clock starts only when I get out of the,
out of prison.
So what was the date?
It started the date that you were at the post office.
You don't know.
No fucking clue.
Have you ever been to Canada?
I bet it's on Google.
No.
And I don't think I'll ever be able to,
because they won't
let you go up there with a DUI.
They're definitely not letting my felonious ass
up in there. You don't need Canada
once you've got Colorado.
I would like to go.
Toronto's a whole different world, brother.
What if I sneak in? What's the worst that could happen?
They'd kick you out.
I've been kicked out of places before.
I've been kicked out of worse places than Canada. I'll tell you that right now ask you to leave you know no all right well
i asked you very nicely though didn't fucking stay then i guess you know he said no well we
were trying to run him down but his car is way faster than our horses and there was the worst Canadian accent ever. It's fucking horrible.
I looked it up.
It all started August of 2017.
Memory lane.
Feels like so long ago.
Yeah, that was a slow burn. What was the year?
2017.
Fuck me. Yeah, I'm right.
August 2017.
Four fucking years. In four years, I'll have only smoked weed like a handful of times.
Oh, it's so awful.
Oh.
That's crazy.
And this will be the first time you've smoked.
I really like weed.
This would be like if they took paintball away from you,
like something that you'd like to do like all the time.
Like right now, you're probably thinking like,
man, if there was like a pickup paintball game outside in the neighborhood,
I mean, I would go.
If you heard somebody outside go yo wolf bring it and you look and they've all got their masks on and they got your fucking tip you'd be like you
little motherfucker that's how i'm about weed like i could just smell some somewhere i'm like oh i
bet they'd like me to join in on that i know i do oh i'm looking forward to it man it's gonna be good
it'll probably be even better like oh it's gonna be for you because i appreciate it more this will
be the first time that you'll be smoking where you're also in like phenomenal physical shape
what's that uh what's that uh movie with dave chappelle and he got a hold of the
experimental weed and he was in in heaven smoking it after.
Isn't it half-baked?
Half-baked.
They just have that whole scene with him smoking it different ways.
Yeah, I just picture that.
I told my Twitch chat that since they had been so cool, I was going to not even start out slow when we get out there.
We're going to start with the distillate.
We're going to start with that 95% pure shit. We're going to start with the distillate. We're going to start with that 95%
pure shit. We're going to
do a dab of that right away.
Hop on Twitch live.
Just baked out of our mind.
I also told them that I would take an enormous
edible for the first
PKA that we do while we're out there. There's going to
be a PKA. This is the
sort of stuff that you guys get to make
happen over on Twitch slash FPS Kyle. Apparently I'm going to be taking aka um this is the sort of stuff that you guys get to get to make happen over on uh twitch
uh slash fps kyle uh apparently i'm going to be taking a gargantuan edible um for the first pka
that we do while we're out there this is how only usb blade got his start yeah yeah yeah not gonna
not gonna go down that rabbit hole i'm gonna have to be a little more careful when i say things like
that because i i would like just you know things got out of hand very very quickly over on twitch in a good way i
suppose but now i have to do some things uh so we're not gonna do things like that anymore i
think my next sub goal is gonna be to stream rust for a week and which is which is so much less
healthy than than smoking weed in enormous amounts but like when i'm when i'm playing rust
it's like i have enough time to like get my workout in shower every day and like like and uh
and play rust and that's that's literally it which i guess will be good for streaming but but are you
guys still gaming like what do you still play at all or i go in uh spurts so i'm not gaming right now i'm kind
of into like outdoor i'm into paramotors motorcycles and fitness it's kind of been my thing lately
i started uh i started up on twitch um last week and that's been going really well so i've been uh
i've been playing a bunch of different stuff to just kind of see what people want to see i think
they mostly just want to chat with me, so everything else is kind of secondary.
I've been playing a good bit of cash game poker and streaming poker
games.
You're allowed to do that on Twitch.
I play
with some friends, so
there's no rake. It's not technically
online illegal poker.
How do you manage the
secrecy aspect?
I put my camera
over my whole cards so they okay so so i and i kind of have fun with that because like the people
i'm playing with are watching my stream there's no way i can like there's no delay if i delay then
i can't chat with the the chat like in real time it becomes an issue so um but i can kind of have
fun with it and play it against the players that may or may not be watching my stream. I'll be like, all right, chat, we got a big hand here.
Let's see if – hopefully he raises this.
I've got nothing.
I'm just hoping that I get to see another card for free
because I'm drawing it a straight or a flush.
Nice.
I've been suggesting that move.
Every poker person says that doesn't work.
Well, see, that's a different kind of move because, like,
it's not that I'm – I'm saying it and they don't know that I know
that they're listening necessarily. You know that I know that they're listening
necessarily. You know what I mean?
They're dumb.
Not all of them are watching the stream. Only a couple of them are.
I never know which ones of them are watching the stream.
I'm talking
to the chat
off to the side. It's a whole thing.
If you're just in the game and you're like,
I've got it. Better not call.
That's not going to impact their decision-making at all.
The best thing you do is shut the fuck up.
Um, cause then the person starts second guessing themselves.
Which game do you, which poker game do you play?
Like, what do you recommend?
I play Texas Hold'em.
No, no.
I'm in the program.
Like, Oh, poker now.
Um, I go to poker now.
And, and again, that's just, if you're setting up like a private game and like, you know,
all the players and like trust them because because we like, you know, we handle buyouts like privately and everything.
Like there's not an interface there where everybody can buy in because like programs that do that take a rake, which makes it a casino, which makes it illegal.
So that's you don't want a situation where the house is making money correct something that is between the people
yeah yeah okay and the game i play in is it's pretty ridiculous like somebody's messaging me
right now even though they know i'm doing the show and he's like hey man maybe you should like
pop back in here join the table there's three thousand dollars on the table right now oh my god
like they're uh they're having a yeah they get wild uh up in our little uh discord
but uh but yeah i played the call of duty than that right oh it's a lot cheaper uh especially Yeah, they get wild up in our little Discord. But yeah, I played –
It's a call of duty than that, right?
Oh, it's a lot cheaper, especially if you're losing at poker.
Yeah.
It can go poorly.
I think I won $100 last night on stream, so like nothing crazy or anything.
Yeah.
But I've had nights where I won a grand in that game.
But yeah, I played a little bit of that, played a little Vermintide,
which is like this hack and slash game where you're killing rats
with your teammates.
You know what we should do?
What's that?
When you're free-free, we should just freaking go to Vegas one time.
I'm down.
We should just go to Vegas.
I'm a free man.
I love to travel.
I've been traveling for years.
Yeah, I'd fly over to Vegas, and we'd just chill for a weekend
and not go crazy or nothing.
We're not getting any hangover room or nothing
like that.
Did you say 45 days and you're free?
Less than that. Slightly less than that.
It's 43 days and three hours.
Those three hours are important.
We're almost to 42 days.
That's right.
Dude, can we talk about
OnlyFans?
There's going to be a lot of broke strippers yeah yeah it's gonna be sad so only
fans to me was a sex workers website it was like patreon for sex workers i guess they had a an
infrastructure there where you could release your nudes or release your videos or whatever. And people would pay them pay to see them.
And,
uh,
they're getting out.
Oh,
I guess you can't have videos or pictures,
maybe two that are nudes and,
or sex or whatever.
So Zach has a article.
I think I have the same one.
I link for myself.
Um,
it's insane.
Fucking pop-ups.
That's how, uh, getting out of the pornography business.
They'll still be allowed to put up nude photos and videos,
but you're right.
They're consistent with only fans policy.
You know,
are they doing that though?
Right?
Yes.
They,
I guess the credit card processors are fussing.
They don't want to be in the sex business.
So they're,
they're losing their ability to receive
money, then
that part of the website isn't
helpful to them. Woody, you know how well
Minecraft was for you. Here's what we do.
We need a website.
Only fans going down.
We started a website called Just Fans.
We allow nudity and we accept crypto.
Yeah, right.
WoodyCraft had issues with credit card processing too.
And we bounced from one motherfucker to the next.
Google Pay.
Google Pay leaves.
Fucking PayPal.
PayPal wants to fuss at us.
We accept the payment like six different ways.
OnlyFan needs to work the system.
They lack ambition.
If I were like Belle Delphine, or I don't know who's big on OnlyFans because I'm not a loser,
but if I were like one of those top 10 people,
I'd get in contact with the other top 10 people or whatever
and be like, we're starting our own.
We've got to start our own thing.
We've got to get JustFans going or whatever the fuck.
FuckFans something.
I don't know if you guys are on Instagram
that much, but it's
such a huge
industry for these dancers and strippers
and a lot of these women have left
the porn industry just for
OnlyFans.
In the adult industry,
sex worker industry, it's a huge
influx
into OnlyFans even what's her name
that the catch me outside girl turned 18 she got a she she uh got it she started her nudes are out
there she made like a million dollars in the first 24 hours like that's how insane that that
requires a little bit of reason i feel like science demands today and it's like it's such a huge thing with a lot of this you know the the whole wap yeah the whole wap generation is
you know independent woman is like all these chicks are out there doing their own only fans
and they were making boat loads of money and there's gonna be these are not innocent nudes
if these are real images would you you link me that, please?
I saw a meme today and it was like
all the OnlyFans creators
on Monday and it was a cute girl
behind the counter at Burger King.
That's so legit.
Like I said,
it's such a huge, huge
thing.
Especially when COVID came around.
She's just having sex, huh?
I'm not sure they're all real.
I'm scared to look.
I'm not going to look. I'm kind of scared.
We don't want any... Hang on. I'll get to the bottom
of this. I know where to go.
No, it's not that. It's just that she's so young.
I don't want...
She should be 18 and all these things.
Here's her subreddit,
which isn't as straight up sex.
I have a paintball friend,
a girl who's got
a legit career on there now
and she's doing straight up adult
movies on there and she's making
some serious coin.
Yeah.
It's scary.
I think it's neat in the way that it puts
power in the hands of the people. There's scary. I think it's neat in the way that it puts like power in the hands of the
people.
There's this like,
there's this meritocracy.
And instead of like the,
a couple guys filming women for whatever,
$800.
And then using that video again and again,
to get most of the porn out there is like four ADP.
And it was shot 22 years ago and they're still making money off of it.
Yeah.
Or you go to something like OnlyFans,
and these people are getting paid their actual worth,
you know, instead of the guy who filmed it
making a million,
and the talent involved making 800.
Like the whole pimp and thing situation, right?
Yeah, I guess so.
Even the pimp, I thought i thought provided some value whether that be
her security her safety the business savvy behind it i don't know like he's doing something
these uh porn producers i i just feel like they're not providing the value they're supposed
to they're taking it's like you can't if you take 98 of money, you're fucking them over.
That's too much.
That's what I like about OnlyFans.
It's like the gig economy for porn.
The sex workers were getting their due.
Once you're putting the work in
and actually making a money, which is great.
I have nothing against sex workers and stuff.
It's been the oldest profession, right?
It's like,
this is going to mess it up for them now.
Chatterbait doesn't seem to be having this problem.
What?
Chatterbait?
I mean, so Chatterbait is, it's like Twitch, but for sex.
Oh, but you don't have to pay to be a part of it, though, do you?
No, but you got to pay.
It's like Twitch, you know, people pay and like,
maybe you want her to start blowing the guy or whatever. Then you would pay
your token.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's webcam. Sometimes it's solo. Sometimes
it's much more than solo.
The real moneymaker is when they've got Lush
toys.
If anybody's out there in the market for a toy, the Lush
3 is just a real steal.
I bought a few the other day.
You can control it with this app on your phone called Love Sense from anywhere on the planet.
And so you can like – it's a vibrator that goes inside the woman, and it's like really discreet.
So you can like wear it at work or whatever. And I can be in Afghanistan or whatever.
And I can like draw patterns.
So it's like the vibration is always like like random so it's like
or i can like hook it up to my spotify i can play like fucking thunderstruck over here and it's like
it's it's an awesome fucking toy but but on like chatterbait and sites like that you can like
tip you can pay a certain price and you gain control of the toy.
So now you're the one controlling it or whatever.
It's in general.
Can you ruin other people's times by just controlling it but keeping it off?
Turning it off.
Yeah.
Yeah, but the thing is with that, again, the Chatterbait, the OnlyFans is the top of the pile for these services right now that's why they're starting to make real money
and that's why they want to switch over
because they're the big big
boys of the whole scene
like 90%
of the Instagram models
have their only fans in their
Twitch too?
Are you guys talking about the only fans thing?
I saw on Twitter
getting rid of adult content on OnlyFans.
What's it going to be? Recipes?
The original use for personal computers.
It doesn't make sense.
What could they possibly offer?
Other than the sexual content.
They are still going to have...
I closed the tab. They still have sexual content. I misunderstood are still going to have, I close the tab,
but they still have sexual content.
I misunderstood it when I first read it.
No,
for now they haven't,
it hasn't,
they haven't switched over yet.
I think you're just warning people still with these pop-ups.
Now I literally can't go to the article,
but yeah,
I'm pretty sure that you're still going to be able to have nudes.
But then what are they getting rid of?
Oh, here it is.
Starting October, the company will prohibit creators from posting material with sexually explicit conduct on its website,
which many sex workers use to sell fans explicit content.
They will still be allowed to put up nude photos and videos, provided they're consistent with the OnlyFans policy.
Oh.
So, like, what is it?
Artistic nudes?
Are we talking about sex acts are now prohibited, maybe?
Yeah, pretty much.
You can't, like, have sex with another individual, but you can, like, masturbate.
Or maybe not even masturbate.
Maybe just be naked.
Yeah, yeah.
But isn't that inherently sexual?
In the way they're doing it?
Only if you're some sort of disgusting man.
And...
It's about art, Taylor.
That's why she's shoving the whipped cream
in her asshole.
It's a commentary on capitalism, idiot.
That's why she's doing anal whippets right now it's it's art okay
i mean she's dressed up as the stay puffed marshmallow man it's a bit it's this is a
comedy show okay if you're getting off you're the sick one it's gonna be straight up furries
on there telling you don't get me started on the furries that's the one thing i have no patience
for no patience for the fur i don't care if you're into feet or if you're into like fucking like jerking off with fistfuls of earthworms but like
if you're if you're dressing up as a blue fucking fox and like opening the like rear hatch or
whatever so that it that's so silly to me i feel personally attacked by this line of accusation
i've seen your costume I've seen your costume.
One word, dry cleaner.
Okay?
You've got to do something about the smell.
I'm not sure that's one word.
One word, Woody.
Take your suit to the dry cleaner.
Please.
That's disgusting.
It's bizarre.
They had furry con here in atlanta and i was just like watching all the people walking out of there like like
wearing their suits in the streets and it was just like what we really are in a bit of a utopia
because like it seems like this is just asking for a hate crime there's nobody who wants to do
anything about this we can't get the the Westboro Baptist Church to protest?
Yeah.
There should be a group of people here that have an
issue with this. There's an abortion clinic
somewhere with a bunch of yahoos outside of it
screaming. If they knew about this, they'd
certainly be here. They'd have more people
on their side.
You know what? They've got a good
point. They've got a good point they've got a good point it's awful
it's so bizarre this makes abortion look pretty reasonable that's what we need just push the
envelope so far too absurd that people yeah a few more abortions they'd be a lot fewer of these man my opinion has never so quickly flipped
buses to abortion clinics ship them off to weird weird con i can't believe they had a whole furry
con oh and it was like it was more than one man can you imagine being the poor guy who's just
like serving hot dogs at a kiosk security there or something like they're taking the hot dogs at a kiosk. Or being security there or something. Yeah, being security. Like they're taking the hot dogs and putting them in dog bowls
for their sub
wolf.
And you know that's happening.
A lot of people in spandex
with their asses out are being walked around
the dirty floor.
You know what?
I've been to a couple of questionable
people.
Yeah, I got no problem with BDSM or kink know i've been to a couple of questionable yeah i got no
idea i got no problem with bds or kink i've been to some scary dungeons okay yeah but like i know
i know wolf has too i wasn't gonna put his business out there but but um but but yeah like
like yeah i don't know something about when you're dressing up is like not even like real animals at
some point when you're like a goddamn unicorn. You identify as a fucking unicorn?
Get the fuck out of here. I don't care
what you want to identify as, as long as it
actually exists.
Kyle's hedging his bets because he knows
Wolf is a wolf. He knows the costume.
He's seen it.
Oh, I mean, if you look at those
pictures... It's just the unicorn
people as I think about it.
They're the weirdos wolves they're
cool i mean it's not a it's it's not a new point at all or a new observation but like everybody
who's into that seems to be like i didn't like if they aren't just one who's into it for the kink
and like they identify as something it's always something cool they all happen to be wolves dragons tigers like no one's like i'm a
no in that scene i'm a bitch made animal i'm a little rat like that are you talking about the
furry scene yeah yeah no it's a whole bunch i don't it's i think it's like a whole bunch of
weird plush stuff it's not even like cool wolves or fox it's like weird it's cool yeah no but i'm
saying it's like they're like i don't know how to put this like weird. None of it's cool. Yeah. No, but I'm saying it's like
I don't know how to put this.
They're like sissy animals.
They look like anime
sissy animals. They're not like
bear outfits.
They have big eyes, big cartoony eyes.
They look like anime characters.
It's really...
Are you sure they're not? I feel like they're...
Maybe not. I don't know.
Taylor's got my mind racing.
I could be the only meerkat at the party.
What are you?
I'm the only gopher here.
Because I like to root around
and stinky furry ass.
Zach,
just Google FurryCon 2021
and pull up that Google Images
thing. I'm looking at it now.
It's all safe for work, but
it just exemplifies everything that Wolf
just said about the sissy animals and stuff.
I'm looking at some sort... I'm looking at a bunch of
pink and purple fucking
canine-like creatures.
Fluorescent stuff.
Here's a pink bunny with a green stripe
on its head.
Yeah.
Oh, this is pretty scary.
That one looks way too realistic.
Did someone bring a collie?
Yeah, I don't like that one.
There's a weird juxtaposition.
Like the cartoony ones are going to take that normal dog into a room and rape him.
See, go back to the collie.
You guys are all like, oh, that collie is too realistic.
I'm like, that collie's
got fat hips. That's a chunky monkey
in that costume. I don't
want anything to do with that middle one. Yeah, there's
no slim costumes
there. It's all plushy, fat
stuff like that. There's a slim one,
I think. They shouldn't have let that lady
on the right end. That is not enough commitment
to the bit. Just having a tail.
Yeah, that's not fair
that's correct what is the tail you guys ever watched the show entourage
never seen that no do they have furries in it it's about like uh uh mark walberg's crew in
hollywood and it's like him and his boys hang out in hollywood anyways there's an episode where um
one of them tricks their friend into a date with this really hot chick.
And it turns out she's into furries and she made him wear a costume every time he came over to get a quickie.
And it was just such a weird episode.
And I was like, and at first he was like disgusted by this.
Like, you know what?
She's hot.
So, you know, I clicked away a little bit too quickly.
But there was a meme
there that said me and the boys heading to furry con and it was just a bunch of tactical weaponry
it was a bunch of handguns and like an ar-15
that was a little dark they're a little too intense in their hatred i mean we hate them
but we want to coexist with them okay i'm I'm just playing that out there. Let them do their weird shit in the sports offseason
or wherever they're doing it.
But you know they're like a whole bunch of accountants
and bookkeepers.
I don't know why you'd hate fur.
I see furries like pot smokers
in that they do their thing
and they don't bother anybody else.
How dare you?
I feel personally attacked.
I see that like alcohol drinkers, they cause societal problems.
They go drinking, they get belligerent, they're hard to get along with, etc.
I meant to say they go driving, not they go drinking.
But pot smokers, they don't seem to cause any trouble for the rest of us.
Same with furries.
Everyone has their thing that freaks them out
that doesn't freak out other
people, right? For instance,
I get freaked out by people who can walk
barefoot on grass.
I think that's crazy.
That is a common, normal thing.
I don't know. It just
grosses me out. I can't
go barefoot on grass or most surfaces. It just freaks me out.
Barefoot people also
don't cause societal problems. I'm okay with that.
Did you step on a nail
as a kid?
There's no logical
explanation for it. I just can't
do it.
Even though I go to the beach, I wear surf shoes.
Oh, man.
Walking in the sand and walking on the
beach those are yummy stuff is in that sand and jellyfish on syringes yeah certain beaches yeah
totally but the ones yeah like one kyle's hanging out at he's just tossing him to the wind when he's
done yeah like everybody someone asked how i dispose of my i dare somebody to tell me not to
throw my l carnitine syringe.
Someone asked in my Twitch chat, they're like, what do you do with your empty syringes?
I'm like, I just throw them in the fucking trash.
You cap them and everything, right?
I'm like, I mean, sometimes I'm in a hurry.
They're just in there.
They're just in there.
I put them in my neighbor's sandbox like everyone else.
They hate it.
But they're too weak to stop me i don't have any steroids so what are they gonna do about it
yeah fuck this i'm sure there must be twitchers who wear furry costumes
i bet i bet oh yeah um oh yeah we were trying to get one. Not furry costume, but just...
Who is the guy who wears...
A lot of them wear the ears and stuff, but I'm sure someone must wear...
Who wears what?
He just dresses up as a girl. A hot chick.
Oh, Finster. Finster's coming on.
Oh, wait. He said yes?
Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah. He's a big fan of the show.
He prefers he, right? We covered this.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's a cross-dressing man.
Finster dresses up as a...
Does he have the hair lip?
No.
Oh, no. Will you pull up Finster dresses up as a... Does he have the hair lip? No. Oh, no.
Will you pull up Finster for us for a sec, Zach?
But you know who I'm talking about when I say that, right?
I don't, actually, but it sounds hilarious.
He's got like a serious hair lip thing.
Does he have a hard time talking?
And he dresses as a woman.
And I don't know his proper pronoun, but...
Holy shit, that's my kink.
This guy's hot. You're about to see. Yeah.
That's a good picture. Do the one with the hat on row three.
Oh, that's trans. No, that's just a guy in girls clothes.
Mike's dressing up. So he's trans. No, no, no.
I think he's identified as a girl. he's just a guy who likes to look like
the thing is he's crossing because twitch wants him to he's he's he's cross-dressing for pay here
like he doesn't do it in his everyday life no they're paying this like it started as a sub goal
i believe and and he was like all right and
he's got like quite a few subs i don't know it might be 5 000 or something i haven't looked
but so like you know making quite a bit of money and uh and so what his fans like is him dressing
up as a pretty pretty girl so he dresses up as a pretty pretty girl and like but when you go there
it's not like hey guys welcome to the stream it's the man voice like guys, welcome to the stream. It's Fenster. Hey guys, welcome to the stream again. It's Fenster.
No way!
I got something very nice for you today.
I got a prom dress.
I got a prom dress today.
And sure enough, I tuned back in
like 30 minutes later and there he is wearing a
fucking blue prom dress, brushing his hair with a pink brush.
And I'm just like, this is hilarious.
Okay, that's a kink.
He found a niche there he did definitely
what if i could get more views he's a cis male cross-dresser femme body
there you go that's a lifestyle he's not doing it just for the twitch then
he's doing that every day he's not though he says he's doing it's not though you don't think
i don't know man okay no like those pronouns and stuff, what he laid out there,
it would be like
if people started offering Woody
$100,000 a month to dress
as a pretty, pretty girl. And he's like,
fuck!
Fuck!
I'll do it.
Fuck!
And Jack's in the other room like,
get that dress on, bitch!
You get it on!
That's too much money to miss out on.
You know what that's going to do in the market?
Decade from now,
get in that fucking dress!
She's over there.
She's doing your makeup.
You know you'd do it.
You'd have to do it.
We'd all have to do it.
Yeah.
You wouldn't do it for 100 grand a month. a month somebody wants you to to to put on your beyonce fucking dress
you're not gonna do it man i'm gonna do it i'm gonna do it it doesn't take nearly that much
he's got like fake titties in like like like like like pop-ins these are a couple chicken cutlets
you know you buy a little silicone fakies and they like go in a bra and now he's got little fake titties okay does he ever do stuff like uh oh if you gift subs i'll go squat yeah
yeah they'll they'll like uh he'll go like i think there was i don't know if it's a sub goal or don't
know or whatever but something happened and so like now he's in public now he's like walking
down the street in in like full girl clothes like streaming he's like it's pretty crowded out i don't know about
this one don't want to get hate crimed just like walking around i'm doing a terrible version of
his accent he's british though but it would be even funnier if it sounded like that though like
it's not too far off it's a very manly voice it's that level of deep just not the axe yeah
yeah yeah yeah no no he's
a chill guy i uh we played a little bit of some games the other day he's in the 50 discord um and
yeah we'll get him on as a guest uh here soon uh i just need to see the schedule so i can i can get
him plugged in are you ready for the next topic yes sir yes sir bare knuckles boxing oh that
sounds like a terrible idea are you thinking thinking about Bare Knuckle Boxing?
No.
No, not me.
Is Fight Club still a thing?
Kyle, would you tell the story?
Oh, my God.
So I guess, like, you know,
since I did the physical transformation thing
and since I've been streaming on Twitch,
it got back to, like,
the owner of Bare Knuckle Boxing Championship,
whatever that organization is that Paige Van Zandt and all those people fight in.
And they basically offered me this deal where they would make a docu-series
about me becoming a Bare Knuckle Boxer,
and I would train with professionals that they provided for like some period of time.
I don't know how long.
If we don't have a long, if it's not,
if we don't have a time machine to go back when I'm 25
and then spend five years or 18 or 12
when you learn a skill like bare knuckle boxing,
maybe, but basically I would be the main event,
I guess, at a major pay-per-view for bare knuckle boxing
fighting Diego, the Nightmare Sanchez,
former winner of the Ultimate Fighter,
former contender at 170 fucking pounds in the goddamn UFC.
And they're like, it's a handsome payday, wink, wink.
And I'm just like, we didn't even set a number.
They did half a million pay-per-views at $50 a piece,
or 300,000 pay-per-views at $50 a piece on their last event
and put 12,000 people in the arena.
So it would be a lot of money.
I don't want to know how much money, Woody,
because it might be a tempting amount of money.
So you didn't attempt to calculate how much money it was?
No, I don't want to know because I guarantee it's very high five figures.
Everybody else wants to know.
It's probably high five figures, probably low six figures. And there is a number in which i do it and i'm afraid i'm so afraid that they're
anywhere near that number because i'm not doing it i'm not fighting diego the nightmare sanchez
and bare knuckle box come on a man who i had just so happened to have mocked relentlessly on this show for weeks before.
This is the guy who had the ridiculous trainer, and I was saying that his
trainer's probably molesting him in private
and doing gay shit with him.
I made fun of him for
drooling and being
washed up and made
fun of this guy on this show relentlessly.
This is the man.
This is a famous
professional fighter who's just too
old now to cut it and the world's
biggest organization. That's it.
It's not that the guy can't fight.
He is a goddamn professional fighter
and has been so for well over
a decade.
No!
Come on, Kyle.
Do they wrap the hands at all?
It's worse than being bare-knuckle.
They wrap them in hand wraps.
So now they cut you.
Now his hand won't break.
It'll just break your face. So you end up cut
to fucking ribbons if the fight
goes any longer than mine.
I would be like, right here!
Right here!
It's grappling feet and everything, yeah?
No, it's just boxing.
I would be more tempted if it was grappling, right?
Because maybe he arm bars me and I tap, he chokes me, I tap.
You could offer up your neck in some way.
I have to stand in there and trade with a killer.
That leads me to this.
Chiz was saying that what you want to do is just train defense for
well i don't know how long the lead-up is six months or so and that is your your idea and i'm
not even does that just get you more longer beating yeah i would imagine first of all if
we were talking about boxing that actually isn't a terrible idea but we're not we don't have big
pillows on our hands yeah i know this is what i've got in front of me this is how much i can block he's gonna beat the fuck out of me there's a he's coming
in from the side he's uppercutting me he's he's just sometimes he's just knocking my hands out
of the way because you know he's a professional fighter and all and just hitting me and at will
he'd be like uh oh of course his body blows yeah he's gonna break my fucking ribs you'd be like
that blonde guy who gets fucked up in fight club he just he'd be listening to the clip of you
saying that he got molested by his coach as he's hyping himself up to go in there and kill but
come on you don't think with six months of training you could handle a guy who's been
doing it for 25 years professionally no no i don't and it's just like it's like i like kitty
kitty like sends me this offer and everything
and i'm just like no kitty do you know who diego sanchez is because she didn't know the the fighter
name i'm like well first of all he's called the nightmare like joe lozon fought this man here's a
few gifts and i just start i send her like a gift of him kicking clay guida in the face and knocking
him the fuck out and like a gift of him like getting hyped the one of him drooling the
one of him coming out holding the crucifix looking insane i'm like i'm like this is an actual crazy
person like this is this is literally an unstable former professional athlete like like this would
be like if they're like hey um jordan is not even like comparing it to playing
ball with jordan because jordan's like like like been out of the game for so long it's like it's
like picking a fucking nfl or who like retired like like what's our boy um that that um that
comes on the show and you know the the baller nfl arian foster it'd be like me going and playing
fucking football with arian foster oh come on kyle he's retired yeah it doesn't that yeah that doesn't
matter he's still probably when i have the details that's a bad idea yeah it's a concussion and it's
worse hair awful i wish i knew the number like i'm like a quarter million this time i don't want
to waste it no not for a quarter million no it's very no he's gonna hurt me real god okay if we're
wearing gloves it's a little bit of a different story.
Then I felt like it's like,
it's like the thing,
you know,
I do that.
How much,
how much would it take you to like suck a dick?
Right. And everyone's like,
Oh,
$6 million.
I don't know,
dude.
Quarter million pays off your house.
Yeah.
A quarter million is a life changing amount of money.
People,
you know,
imagine not having a mortgage,
not having that fucking man's foot
on the back of your neck every day.
That's why you go to work. The first two weeks
of your career is
just, yeah. You're going to trade the figurative
foot on your neck for the literal
fist in your mouth.
What you could do, have you heard that old
thing where they're like, you know, if you're
about to get raped,
try and shit and piss yourself
and keep them from you know and try and get them away from you kyle if you just went in there
and shit your pants and then started rubbing it all over yourself like a mental patient
you he might not hit you but i think i get disqualified for that maybe but on the real note like i compared
it to the oral sex thing what is a beating worth right a beating suck you could be disfigured
afterwards maybe like that'd be awful and i know you wouldn't like that in particular
but dude a paid off house is really nice and you probably won't get disfigured you probably have a
black eye that goes away in two weeks.
Or he could give you a guy with a paid off house.
Just split your lip all the way to the nose.
Can we pull up pictures of bare knuckle boxing contestants
real quick?
You might not even be able to on YouTube. It's so brutal.
It's like just images.
Google image bare knuckle boxing contestant.
Well, not.
We don't want to see them before the fight.
We want the afters. We don't want their stock them before the fight We want the afters
We don't want their stock photos
After they've taken some hits
Yeah, perfect, perfect, that'll do it
Yeah
Right?
Neither of them are having fun
She's got a rough one
That's a cut over her eyebrow
That's not bare knuckle eye that's not bare knuckle that's not bare
knuckle yeah that is actually not bare knuckle but it's just that's the kind of thing you'll
get left is bare knuckle that's bare knuckle oh that's bare knuckle that's what kimball slice
used to do bro oh no his nose went away i don't think so kimball he bought in the streets and
it's kind of bare knuckle though yeah they're all wrapped up here which makes it worse
oh my god this is just yeah this it would be it would be at a goddamn nightmare no i'm not doing Yeah, but that was bare knuckle, though. They're all wrapped up here, which makes it worse.
Oh, my God.
This is just, yeah.
It would be at a goddamn library.
No, I'm not doing that, though.
As your friend, I don't want you to do it.
Is that on American soil, even?
Yeah, it's Florida.
Jesus.
It's illegal.
They have to go do it on Epstein's Island.
Epstein's Island or Florida, both will do.'ve been a martial artist since i was very young like that's how that's part of that's
the reason why i don't smoke or drink actually would you do bare knuckle boxing and uh i used
we used to have to do kumite is full contact but we had gloves on right and uh that was and
that wasn't like boxing gloves. Those were like
the old school martial arts
gloves that you see.
And
I've had my eye
kind of ruptured,
but nothing serious, right? But the
bare knuckle stuff
with an experienced fighter,
if he was fighting against some Twitch guy
or something like that, okay, sure.
But why would you match
him up against a freaking
experienced guy? If it was someone else from the YouTube
firearms industry, he'd be okay.
Absolutely. Kyle versus
Hickok45. Perfect!
He's a big guy.
70 years old!
Hickok45 here, gonna beat
some ass.
He beats the shit out of you.
He beats the shit out of you.
Put up your dukes.
I'm looking at me like, alright, come on Hickok.
And he's like, pow!
Oh no.
I look at his feet and he's got the
fucking Ali shuffle going on.
Kyle, turn your side.
Turn your side.
Let me see the nose.
Side so we can.
Yeah, that's going to break.
That's gone.
Oh, it's been broken before.
It's awful.
Okay, I was going to say.
Yeah.
I've got a fighter's nose.
Like, this thing is not.
You know what I mean?
Oh, yeah.
This is broken.
That's the first thing going on.
Ronda Rousey has a nose like this too
deformed in
they had to have surgery where they pulled this bone
back out yeah it's been broken before
it would immediately break again
that was like a $4,000 plastic surgery thing
that I had to get
it's not a good day
as soon as that nose breaks the eyes are going to start watering
you can't see then you're done for the rest of the fight
it's a mess
how embarrassing would it be if
you just started crying?
That's Daniel Cormier.
But it's
before the fight.
And here comes
FPS Russia, and you're just
I don't know what I'm doing.
This contract is ironclad.
Get your ass in there.
They're dragging me.
They're literally dragging me in.
No!
This is not holding onto the cage.
I'm not looking into the TV camera.
That would be a hilarious walkout
if someone pretended that they really didn't want to. I always get my 20%. That would be a hilarious
Although although what if he doesn't take me seriously and I knocked Diego out
There's always that there's always the odds be on that fight? Oh, fucking one in a million.
Are you kidding? It's so absurd.
You'd be better off playing the fucking lottery.
I was looking for good walkout songs for you.
How about Keep Me In Your Heart?
Is there a song called Please Please No I Didn't Mean It?
I'm so sorry.
That would be a hilarious walkout song.
I'm so sorry.
He doesn't meme your way through it.
That wouldn't be worth it.
That's not bad from Zach, his suggestion.
Yeah, that is rough.
I've got no business doing that sort of thing.
No, you don't.
But it was pretty funny to read.
Logan Paul.
Would you fight Logan?
Logan's a beast.
He knows how to guess.
The bare knuckle thing is the big
turn off.
I don't want to fight anybody if I'm being honest.
I don't want to do that.
Bare knuckle is dangerous.
You can hurt somebody with bare knuckle fighting.
Street fight, I've seen
even in my younger days
I was a bit of a bouncer and I've seen
street fights that just ended horribly.
Because just the way the human body is very fragile man like i mean if when you hit a face when you hit a
skull you can break your hand but at the same time there's a lot of soft parts on soft parts
on the human face like the teeth are gone that i can be that the orbital that you can screw up a
human face yeah we're not doing that.
We're not doing that. But it is
a funny like what if kind of scenario. There's
an alternate universe where I
that's the funny thing about like that the whole like
multiverse theory like there's
definitely an alternate universe where I not only
fight him but I win.
I just wish
that we had that interdimensional cable shit
like Rick and Morty.
So I could just like watch that fight. The one where like Diego has food poisoning or something like that.
And for whatever reason, like I grew up training boxing and no one knew it.
And I somehow win that fight.
But no, I don't have a death wish.
You win by brain aneurysm in the first.
I kill Diego.
You win by brain aneurysm in the first.
I literally killed Diego.
He has brain aneurysm, but it looks like I clipped him.
And that's what they did.
They're like, Kyle's 1-0 in the Bare Knuckle Fighting Championship.
His only opponent, Diego the Nightmare Sanchez, killed him.
Killed him in the first round.
They're carrying my opponent on the stretcher, and I'm still celebrating.
I don't care.
I don't care.
There's literally a weeping, I guess not a widow, maybe his coach,
because I still stand by the fact that that coach has been molesting him.
I know they're not together anymore.
Double down on it now that you know he'll never get to see you. Yeah, yeah.
Good God.
Good God. What a silly fucking opportunity, I guess you'd call it but no we're not doing that we're not doing that
yeah that offer came out of the blue huh yeah somebody are there any retired fighters that
you would fight like how old would you like how old is randy couture i fight ben asked i would
fight ben askren uh like with mma gloves because I don't think that he would hurt me.
I know what he would do to me, and it wouldn't hurt.
I mean, it'd be uncomfortable.
He would win, but he wouldn't injure you.
Exactly.
I have no illusions about competing with any fighters whatsoever.
But I know how that guy fights.
He might stand up just to be silly with me for a minute because he'd want a show and maybe i would he's someone i could talk to before the fight and be
like hey man look you know this is the joke right there's a part in uh rocky i was just gonna say
that didn't he say that before yeah there's a there's a part in rocky one where um they call
balboa in to talk to apollo creed's representation and he thinks he's there to be a training partner
and he's like i just want you to know it's a huge opportunity for me
to train with the champ.
I'm going to be a good sparring partner with him.
I won't get in no cheap shots, nothing like that.
That's how I'd be talking to Ben Askren.
I'd be like, look, we know how this is going to end.
Maybe we dance around a little bit.
You make sure I don't look like a fool.
Then slam the fuck out of me.
Let's go WWE style.
I don't mind.
And maybe pretend like I'm fighting off the choke a little bit maybe let me go and we get up and go
another round but please don't hurt me please don't hurt me sir i'm a big fan of yours this is
how it should go in just like fairness and justice i try my hardest and you professional fighter
make sure no one gets hurt and still wins
that's how children wrestle with adults
right they're doing their best
and you're just making sure no one gets hurt
in this situation
that's how it should go but it doesn't they hurt you
you said
Randy Couture
I actually played paintball with him in Vegas
and I interviewed him on my show
and just for the heck you you know, we were talking,
and he put me on a little mini headlock.
We were playing around the camera.
And he just, like, this was his fist to me.
And I'm not a small guy.
Like, I can handle myself.
And you could just feel the power in this guy's fist
as he just, like, put it to me like this.
And I was like, I was playing tough, but in my mind,
I was like, holy Jesusesus if this guy wanted to
hurt me so your camera froze all he did is hold his hand next to your neck it was hard to see
it was he he put his arm around me like a choke and then he put the neck
his fist on my neck like this and i was like i just felt just for a second. And I just felt the power that that man exuded.
Like,
yeah,
he's,
and he's my age and you don't want,
he's an assistant.
He's one of the greats.
He's one of the greats.
And at heavyweight,
I think he was a double champ.
then he's a bad pick.
Who's another really old.
I'm trying to think of,
is Ken Shamrock old?
Ronda Rousey.
You think? Yeah, that would be a good exhibition.rock old? Ronda Rousey. Yeah, that would
be a good exhibition match. I'll fight Ronda
Rousey, you know. Bitch.
No talent, hack.
With your moose knuckle, cunt.
Like, bring it.
Bring it. She'd break my arm.
She'd literally break my arm.
She might.
Your arm's probably hard to break.
You could curl her over.
That's hilarious.
She's an Olympic medalist in judo.
I don't know.
I would fight her, though, obviously.
But the idea of fighting Diego is just a non-starter.
It's just silly business.
I'm dying.
Living UFC star.
Find one who's not alive anymore.
I'll fight him, too. I'll show up at the graveyard
and do some hate crimes on his
grave plot.
I don't know if you can see the Instagram post
I just put in there, but you can see
what I was talking about real quick.
It's like, oh my gosh.
John Williams. He's like, oh my gosh. John Williams.
He's 70 years old.
Oh.
What a horrible list.
There might not be a 70-year-old alive I can't beat up.
I don't know if I'm talking out of my ass with that,
but it just seems like, come on, 70?
70?
I do think you'd be elite against 70-year i think i would i mean 70 like we're talking about
bone density issues at 70 like like right you gotta be a fit fucking 70 year old to be able to
hang like just the cardio alone of like dancing around for a couple rounds i don't want to fight
anybody though i don't want to fight any fucking body. Have you ever been in a ring? No.
When you do it,
when you watch it on TV,
three minutes around,
it lasts forever
in the ring.
I believe it.
If you think about
punching a punching bag for a couple of minutes,
oh, I could do this.
But if you're in a ring and you're jumping around and you're weaving and you're tucking and you're throwing out
it is you have to be so in shape i've done that as cardio before it's uh like i would uh put on
16 ounce gloves and uh just kind of dance around the heavy bag and and like just like you know
just tire myself out and like multiple three minute rounds you're just huffing
and puffing you're just huffing and puffing like i don't remember exactly what i was doing but i
remember doing three minutes at a time and just every time i'd get done just being just dead like
it was good i don't know that's good cardio um necessarily for like training or anything every
boxing movie is cardio cardio cardio jogging jogging jogging because it's by the end you can barely
lift your arms after like three or four rounds if you're a normal human being it's just it's it's
you have a whole new respect for those guys once you do that and not like i'm not even just talking
about i'm not that's that's just hands and boxing not even just ufc stuff and full body like
grappling you like you got to be so in shape to be able to do that stuff.
It's insane.
Human body is an amazing thing, man.
Once you get it going the way
you want it to.
I'm trying to find
a 65-year-old that you
can fight. Me too.
I found this guy.
Listen to these numbers.
430 squat, 303 bench, 518 deadlift.
He might be stronger than you.
I know you don't do deadlifts.
I don't know if you squat.
430 is way more than I squat.
That sounds terrifying.
Yeah, he's definitely probably stronger.
How old is this guy?
70.
Good for him.
Yeah, but I saw his picture. Kyle would kick his ass
easily, but he's strong.
You know what? Jim Raskin can fight.
That's one thing I learned being in the club scene.
Gym guys cannot
fight. I've seen so many dudes who are
buff and huge and massive
fall to someone who is not.
It's a different skill set. Oh, yeah. Because the guys
in the gym are focused on lifting.
The guys in the other gym are focused on fighting.
Yeah, they're focused on girls.
Largely.
Gym rats get pussy.
That's why they're there.
Yep.
They just want to look huge at the grocery store.
Like, they don't want to get in a fight.
Yeah, but you know what?
Take off your shirt and a woman
finds you hot is a whole different
ballgame.
I used to be overweight back in the day.
Since I lost weight,
it's a whole different ballgame
when it comes to women and stuff like that.
Just walking in a mall
and them giving you the eye and stuff.
It's a whole different...
How heavy did you get when you were at your heaviest?
260. right now i'm 185 very nice how tall are you 510 yeah 260 510 that's were you doing the uf or not the mma stuff at the time or were you no no no physical stuff
then uh i started off a martial artist i got married and I got comfortable and I got fat and I had the divorce and just like started training again.
And I was doing I was doing gym stuff.
I was doing hot yoga and lost weight.
And then paintball, especially like training for paintball.
I train in my gear and stuff, too.
Right.
So I just lost the weight. Keeping up with 20 year olds playing paintball every weekend just had to
yeah that's a fun way to lose weight you don't even realize you're exercising most of it yeah
there's a lot of cardio and paintball you're always a lot and it's full body cardio you know
i mean especially when you're not eating like that no like an easy way to gain weight is to spend time near your pantry
oh yeah it's brutal it's always there yeah it's always there you feel like something salty it's
there it's right there tempting you but when you're like on a paintball field a mile and a
half away from air conditioning you're not eating probably. Even when I know there's nothing good in the pantry,
I'll still make multiple trips to it
every night.
When you get hungry late at night, I'm getting frustrated
and I'm like, who the fuck stocks this
bullshit?
Your standards get lower and lower.
Like, you know what? A spoonful of relish looks
pretty good.
I'll just stand near the fridge and eat
slices of cheese. I've done that once or twice. I'm just stand near the fridge and eat slices of cheese.
I've done that once or twice.
I'm not going to lie.
Yeah, that was part of my thing was like, at one point, Derek was like, hey, if you ever get tempted to go into the kitchen and hit this or that, there are some.
You can do this for appetite suppression.
I'm like, tempted into what?
Like I'm going to get into the oatmeal?
Or we have an extra big like thing of oatmeal one night with some like powdered peanut butter that's 30 extra calories put in it.
Like there's nothing in my house, Derek.
Oatmeal is literally the least healthy thing I own.
Water, water, water, man.
I just drink a lot of water when you have a family in
your house like i'm not that tempted by oreos but i don't we have boxes and boxes of that here
but i don't eat them i i like i i love oreos i like fucking sugary cereal um i like ice cream
i like uh like like those cone uh what are those those ice cream cones have the peanuts on top
you know like like all that shit like like you know a little a little ice cream cone that can you like peel the top off
drumsticks yeah those things are so fucking good oh yeah those oh i know they're little
i don't know if they're peanuts on top they might be but i know exactly what you're talking about
like the magic shell turtle none of those are my weakness i i somehow i'll look at ice cream for
example and feel like the cost benefits not there
but then you get something like trail mix where it's like well I mean maybe a little
but there the cost is way higher than I register it as or at least used to
yeah my new crack is a Werther's popcorn. Oh. I don't know about this.
They have a popcorn out now.
I bet it's good.
It's a caramel corn.
That's how Werther's came out with something new.
What's it been? A century?
They just did something in 1918.
I eat a lot of popcorn.
I use that Orville Redenb bacher uh popcorn's 100 calories a bag
and i'll like take uh like pam like nonstick spray the that's buttered flavored and go
and then like like put some like uh like like flavored popcorn seasoning on there
but uh caramel corn sounds i've started uh taking a page out of your recommended book
because i've i've been like very good the last
few weeks with my fitness pal and it's like at night i just want to eat so much but i'm like
well i guess that point about sugar-free jello and popcorn congealing kind of made sense and
it was like a night last week that i was like so fucking i just wanted to eat and i think i had like two box two packages of popcorn and like
10 of those like five calorie uh jellos and like it was way more my mentality of trying to picture
the amount of food in my stomach than it was a feeling of like like being satiated like i didn't
actually feel full but i knew there was a bunch of food in there. If it's late enough,
I think the move is melatonin.
If it's like 11pm and you're hungry,
take a sleeping pill
and you'll be able to eat tomorrow morning.
Also,
even more than flat water,
obviously I drink a ton of regular water, but
the sparkling waters and the zevias,
I feel like those fill you up
more than the regular water. Maybe that's my brain playing tricks on me. I don't know if feel like those fill you up more than the regular water maybe that's my
my brain playing i don't know i don't know if he'd say fill you up but greg just said that's
a youtuber you watch him too maybe um satiating he often talks about the diet sodas that he drinks
right there's zero calorie sodas and he pounds them constantly and it's not that he argues they're
better for you than water but he argues that like if you're going to be imperfect, this is a low-cost way to be imperfect.
And he found some study that he referenced that said people who cheat by having diet soda are thinner than people who drink their water and cheat by having something worse.
It makes sense.
You can fool yourself into like, oh, I can have five cream soda
zevias a day. That's what I
have. I have so many of those that
that's my go-to cheat thing where it's like,
well, I can't have any more food and I'm out of calories.
I could guzzle 36 ounces of that
over the next hour and that'll make me kind of
feel something. I drink a ton
of diet soda. I drink a ton of these Gatorade Zeros.
During the whole fitness transformation,
I was drinking a lot of unsweet tea, uh, with just sweetener in it and lemon.
Um, and, uh, and like, like if you saw me with that giant thermos that I always had around,
like that was almost always full of like unsweet tea, like, like just, yeah, it's got a little bit
of caffeine in it. It tastes like something and I'd put some Splenda in there and it would be a
little bit sweet and it was nice. You know?
But yeah, I drank a lot of liquid regardless of what it was a day.
Like close to a gallon. That looks good, but
not a cheap pack.
That is candy.
It's got, what is that, French
under it? It's a rich person's candy.
Like $3 a pack.
Tiny little thing, but. i just remember the flavor of war
there's from my great grandfather's house yep yep every grandmother's got a bowl of those things
right next to that stinky potpourri yeah you don't want to eat the potpourri no it smells good it
tastes bad it did i learned that when i was a child i took an isopi to one of those fucking scented acorns or whatever the fuck's in there if you
smoke it does not get you high learn that as a child yikes you get yelled at you see your breath
is tremendous that's another thing that helps with appetite suppression is this this fucking
douche nozzle that i'm always sucking on like The nicotine is an appetite suppressant for sure. Right, that's true.
Yeah, but then you
start gaining weight when you want to quit.
Why would I want to quit?
Look how cool
I look.
I can't see you.
Look how cool I look.
Like a walking smoke grenade.
It's like a steamboat
walking around.
You're sophisticated and intelligent, this makes me appear.
Pinky up!
You're hitting it.
I mean, but you're at the size
of, you're at the level of bigness now.
Nobody's going to make any
jabs or jibes at your expense.
There's always a bigger fish.
That's true. but you just have to
opt not to fight.
Diego the nightmare.
He's going to do an Instagram
post making fun of your douche nozzle.
He doesn't really have a leg to stand on because
he's embarrassed himself so much over the years.
There's some funny clips of Diego.
I can't believe that not only is he offered bare-knuckle boxing,
not only is it against a trained killer,
but it's against one specifically that I was mocking
just a few months ago relentlessly.
That's a setup.
And he probably knows that.
I'm sure someone told him.
I don't know.
You know what?
I also mock Lizzo.
Can we get her in bare-knuckle boxing?
Yeah, get Lizzo in there. I'll beat the brakes
off that.
I'll fucking work the body.
I'll be fucking
I'll be taking my time. Yeah, yeah.
I'll be doing I'll come in there doing a kata.
I'll transition
that into the robot power down.
Like
I'll make a fool of her.
Don't put me in there against
a former contender for the belt.
Good God.
Put you against a pop star.
A female pop star.
A morbidly obese
female pop star. Oprah? Also, I will
fight Oprah.
There's a long list of obese
old women that I am more than willing
to step into the ring with.
Yeah, don't anybody say that.
Barbara Walters, is she still alive?
I'll take those odds.
That's a yes.
Betty White?
Betty White?
She doesn't even know where she is.
Rosie O'Donnell?
I'd fuck Rosie up.
Roseanne Barr?
I'd get Hillary Clinton.
Don't take her.
She's mine.
I don't even know if you're allowed to say things about her.
I don't want the Clintons coming after me.
You might shoot yourself twice in the back of the head.
Yeah.
It's like that scene from The Godfather.
If he should be shot by a
policeman, if he should hang himself
in his police cell,
in his jail cell, if he
should be struck by a bolt of lightning.
That's what happens when you fuck with the Clintons.
I'm not getting into that.
Kids these days can't even handle those movies.
I watched Godfather 1 and 2 last.
The kids could not
handle the subtlety that is
Godfather 2.
I think they think it was boring.
Yeah, absolutely.
You know what I showed my kids the other day?
Invasion of the Body Snatchers.
1973 one.
Yeah.
And they really liked it, but they thought the beginning was too...
Is that the one with Donald Sutherland?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's a good one.
Yeah.
And they liked it, but they thought the beginning was too boring.
That's what I think about Star Wars.
The old ones? I think about Star Wars. The old ones?
I agree on Star Wars.
If you watch the original Star Wars, in my head, these were like action movies.
But if you rewatch them, there is a lot of slowness in those films.
He spent so much time on the Yoda planet for no reason.
Action didn't happen until Empire Strikes Back.
Is that when it was?
Real action didn't happen until it was. It. Is that what it was? The real action didn't happen until it was the start.
Oh, I'm sorry.
Is that the one on the snow planet where they fight the... Wait, are you serious?
I don't know.
Jesus, Murphy.
Well, the one where they were tying the robots
up was dope.
That was cool.
Are those robots called AT-ATs or AT-ATs?
The small ones are AT-ATs or AT-ATs? The small ones
are AT-ATs.
I'm saying it because there's some
confusion about what you say.
AT-ATs.
Yeah, clearly
AT-AT, not
AT-AT. Who would say that?
I always thought they were AT-ATs.
A lot of people say it.
Empire Strikes Back was the one in the snow. Yes, it was. The second one. No, I can't they were badass. A lot of people said. Empire Strikes Back was the one in the snow.
Yes, it was. The second one.
No, I can't get into them. I think they're pretty
fucking lame.
Rogue One is
very good. The Mandalorian is incredible.
It's not that I'm opposed to the universe or I got some
kind of thing with George Lucas.
I just think that the first trilogy and the second
trilogy just really stink.
The first trilogy?
So the first three movies you didn't like?
The oldest trilogy.
The Luke Skywalker on the...
You didn't like those?
No, I despised them.
I think it's some shitty acting at times
and it's really slow.
When did you first see them?
When I was like 15.
Really?
I saw them in theaters when they came out, bro. That was like 15 really yeah i really just years when they came out bro
that was like brain destroy i bet it was cool back then like i'm saying like it would have been
like the special effects would have been crazy like like you're like you're now like i think
if i'm high and i say this a lot about a lot of things but if i'm high i probably enjoy a little
more because i can i can like calm the fuck down and enjoy myself what about blade
runner i love blade runner and it's slow and i love it to death and i've seen all of the versions
i haven't seen any of them you haven't seen blade runner i'm the i'm far and away the least movie
knowledge of the three really okay i'm a movie oh that's my thing did you read the book blade
runner it's not called that it's called called I Dream of Android Pets or something.
Do androids dream of...
Sheep. Of like robot sheep
or something like that.
It's a stupid name.
It is a terrible book.
It was a bad book, so the movie
was better. I thought it was too slow.
I don't know if I saw the movie.
I just thought the book moved way too slow
and it didn't make its point really.
And I was frustrated.
It was an audio book that I persevered through
instead of enjoying.
I felt that way about Hitchhiker's Guide to the Universe too.
Everyone seems to love that book.
But I liked the book when it came out though.
See, it was, I don't know.
Did you see? I don't know. It see i don't know it's hard to say it's hard to say because like i'm old school so i've seen a lot of these things the
originals when they came out so i can appreciate it's like saying you know a lot of i started
gaming when like you know calico vision was cool and duke nuke i started playing multiplayer when
it was me my friend playing duke nukem on two big-ass PCs, right? So I appreciate
the stuff we have now more
than the kids who grew up with it, right?
So I got to see the whole rendering
come through from 2D.
All right?
The games they have now are so good.
Are there any really popular movies, since we're kind of on that
topic, Wolf, that you hate,
everybody else loves, and you're like, I can't get into it?
What was the thing that took place in the south um with the the mammy and the uh no no no no
holding that um when uh you had the the spoiled rich chick and she had the man coming after her
and then the war came and she had to grow up gone with the wind gone oh
that's way back yeah i agree that's boring that's way before our time people in the 20s had some
real patience yeah yeah yeah um gone with the one they didn't like something i don't know that's a
very good question i'd have to look through my because i like like for i'm one of those guys
who like the old the b the b horror movie stuff like oh dead when it first came out i love evil dead i love horror movies i've seen
more of those than any other genre okay love zombie movie i'll watch anything zombie related
love i love them like that's you ever watch red letter media on uh youtube yeah i watch every
video they make i love that's the worst we're're going to like, like on this Colorado trip,
um,
there's a,
we're going to watch a lot of that stuff.
Like,
like,
um,
we're going to, we,
we plan like a whole bunch of shit.
Like,
like I know Taylor had never seen,
um,
um,
Mars attacks.
That old movie with Nicholson and Pierce and all those guys.
That was good.
But like,
like,
like I like like cheesy ass movies and I really like those like so bad. It's it's good good like movies that are where you can just kind of like laugh at the filmmaking
yeah like come on there's the boom i can see the mic like like even in my videos you don't see the
mic like come on well the original zombie movies like um the one that happened in the mall um
dawn of the dead two dawn of the dead the original not the new one was great but
the original one oh yes that's dawn of the dead i'm thinking of the romero one that was before
the night of the living dead that's what i was yeah and the one after that dawn of the dead
which took place in the mall and you got like the the SWAT guys in the 70s yeah killing zombies in
the really cool special apartment practical like actual like fake blood splat yeah yeah when he's just the actual squids and stuff back in the day and stuff and like no i didn't
know that i love that stuff good movies love that stuff but a lot of kids today you know they
can't handle it but it's scary because one of the the social media things that i mean like totally
invested in right now is tiktok and tiktok started out as just a bunch of chicks
dancing to stupid songs and stuff but now it's like i watch it more than tv really i get more
information there than like like it depends who you follow i guess but i get every like you you
have like tactical guys on there there's a whole bunch of like calling noirs on there
there's a whole bunch of tactical achilles tacticals on there with shooting training
there's a whole bunch of you'll see stuff from afghanistan that you won't see on the news on there
um but you know i have my paintball stuff on there i have and but there's the funniest stuff
on there they'll have black history stuff on there. The people arguing about political issues and not like dumb arguing like Facebook, like videos and stuff.
But people like actually arguing real facts and talking about, you know, the Tulsa, Oklahoma, when they killed like 5000 black people in the black Wall Street stuff.
And they'll talk about the migration of slaves and why you have black poor
people.
And it's like,
it's insane.
The stuff that you see on there now.
And it's like,
you can spend hours just scrolling and stuff,
but the bad part was music videos.
I don't know.
Oh my.
It's so beyond that.
Well,
a lot of funny shit too.
It's a lot of really funny stuff.
I watched a duck attacking a woman today on Tik TOK.
It was my favorite Tik TOK account. My favorite Tik TOK is, of really funny stuff i watched a duck attacking a woman today on tiktok it was hilarious oh my
favorite tiktoker account my favorite tiktoker is um it's this guy with two chihuahuas and he
rides a motorcycle and he's got one attached oh yeah yeah yeah and they've got the helmets and
stuff yeah like he'll pop his visor down and i'll reach him poop pop his visor down too yeah and the
dogs like like like every dog i've ever had would be like freaking the fuck out like his dogs are just like yeah we're cool but there's so much like
there's guys who break down anime movies and guys who break down marvel stuff and there's this
regular comedy and it's like it's like it you know the crazy thing is is american airlines
is going to start offering tikt TikTok streaming on the plane now.
What?
Like, think about how huge that is.
You've got multi-billion dollar, multi-million dollar movies and TikTok.
Not even YouTube cracked that service.
You know what I mean?
Like, how crazy.
I'm a Delta man myself.
I got way too many air miles.
That's the cool, like like when I went to get,
like get this flight for, uh, for, um, Colorado, I haven't flown obviously in like four years or
whatever it's been. And, uh, and I was like, Hey, how many Delta miles do I have? I have like
almost 300,000 or something crazy like that. Like I can fly for free for a very long time.
And they can't get rid of those. No, they save them. So I'm like some sort of like platinum.
I don't know. I got, I got the fucking delta fucking credit card and the sky miles shit like i've got so many
miles i'm gonna do some traveling this year good yeah i i i travel for games like every other
weekend and so i got like a lot of stuff built up too but yeah i might go play some fucking paintball
too i haven't done that in a while i play a little airsoft like not long after i got in trouble
how'd you like it it's
okay man you know it's not the same obviously um but but it's a good time yeah i i i've i've
played airsoft i just don't get the same like you don't have the same sound and the same feel
from airsoft like you have the battery guns and yeah you know what i mean and you don't get the
explosion when you hit somebody right so i i can appreciate airsoft i just you don't get the explosion when you hit somebody right so i
i can appreciate airsoft i just i don't get the same thrill from it like in high school we switched
from paintball me and my friends would play we switched from paintball to airsoft because it was
like so fucking expensive to go there as a high school kid and play paintball whereas
and you had to get the the air and the compressed air and everything and so like you got there and
play paintball and like 45 minutes later someone would be so you could go out there and play paintball.
And 45 minutes later, someone would be like, well, I'm out.
And I don't have a backup tank.
And it's like, well, you can use mine.
OK, well, now I'm out.
Whereas if you just did like we just had bullshit battery charge operated or spring activated.
And you can get 1,000 BBs for $6 with Airsoft.
At least the cheap kind we were using.
So it worked out for us.
But yeah, there's there's no satisfaction of like that wet thud when you hit someone
and there's a physical mark on them showing what you did.
It's more of just like a and sometimes you're so far away.
It's like, I think I hit him.
And even if I did hit him, there's a good chance he doesn't even know it because it
hit a fold in his shirt and it didn't go through.
So,
but they're pretty powerful from what I felt.
Like if you get hit in the right spot,
you'll feel it like a paintball sometimes.
But again,
I'm sure.
But again,
it's,
it's,
you know,
I didn't get the same,
you know,
explode.
Like when I play my videos on my channel and it's that awesome feeling
when you see that paint explode on somebody's helmet you know what i mean so it's like a very
different feeling but i can't yeah i can't knock and i get the i get like i see some big airsoft
games out there and know they're so into their into the military stuff and they're so exact with
it it's like it's pretty darn cool and They can play in spots where we can't.
They get let on certain military bases
because it's not as messy and stuff.
I've seen guys play in
malls in the UK
and stuff like that. That's cool.
All they have to do is clean up stuff after they're done.
We can't do that in paintball
because it gets nasty.
I can appreciate it, but it's just not my thing, though.
I can't hack it. I don't get the the same thrill from it that would be a blast playing airsoft or paintball
in a mall yeah like it would be like a layer of realism where like you can see the anti-ans and
the fucking you know sketchers store while you're shooting that would be awesome well they had a
zombie crawl uh experience in the uk uh for uh airsoft what they did was
they hired like a couple hundred people to play zombies and they turn off the turn off like most
of the lighting in the mall and they treat you like a soldier and they give you an airsoft gun
and or a pistol or whatever and you got to survive in the mall you've got to survive in the mall, and you've got to run through the mall and have zombies chase
you and stuff. That's awesome.
I would want to be a not-zombies
player. Only, yeah.
Only a headshot would drop
the zombies, and they'd chase you through
the mall and all this stuff. That would be
pretty intense. I would love to do something like that.
That would be pretty sick.
Yeah, it's like...
I wonder how much you'd have to pay to cover that
overhead to rent out a whole mall yeah well not only that but paying the actors to be you know i
talked about this a while back about it was you know we were talking about the death of the american
mall how like amazon is just killing them and they're going out of business everywhere and uh
i was like you know like i know paintball isn't like a fucking huge money-making enterprise
running fields with insurance and everything but man there's a lot of real estate out there where
you could do some like cqb stuff inside of malls but like i can just imagine the issue with like
the fucking some kids sliding down the goddamn escalator yeah or falling off the second like
like you couldn't do it the cool way the way that you like like you envision playing in a mall
and like that ain't how it would be but you you blow, you like cut some holes in the walls that like separate the Reebok store from
the fucking,
you know,
Lids hat store.
Remember that?
Remember Lids sold the fucking hat.
All that shit's gone.
Yeah.
I don't know.
Growing up,
I loved going to the mall.
And now it's like,
why would I go to the mall?
Like I've got Amazon.
What is it you don't like about the mall?
There's nothing there I can't acquire online.
If I want to try something on, sure.
Recently, I'm a lot thinner.
I don't know exactly what pant size it is.
My waist was like 28 inches or something like that toward the end of my weight cut.
I envy that.
That's dangerous. I haven't I envy that. That's dangerous.
I could be 2% body fat
and I wouldn't be 28 inches.
You're 6'2 and your waist was 28.
Yeah.
You didn't drink water for three days.
Not exactly.
No, it was 28.
Not with the water depletion.
Just 28. i'm wearing
like a 30 31 right now or something like that like pretty fucking slim yeah i'm at a 32 but 28
was like wow yeah i mean there wasn't any fat left i got down to 8.4 body fat oh my gosh that's good
oh yeah it was not it it was it was fun yeah mall still would be useful for going to try on clothes.
And it's not that I wouldn't go to the mall.
Just the last time I went to one was probably nine months ago.
And I was driving home at this point probably over a year ago.
And I just got a random hankering for some Sarku Japan in the food court.
And I'm like, I'm going to pull off and get some Sarku Japan.
And I went in and the entire food court was gone.
pull off and get some sarku japan i went in and the entire food court was gone there were maybe the only stores there that were like in use was like jc penny nordstrom and and uh well i think
that was it actually elk yeah nine months ago was during covid though it was it was like a year ago
or so so okay i guess that was during covid too maybe it was longer i don't remember i just
remember there's nothing fucking there i can still remember the smell of the mall
like like like the food court had that smell that was just delicious it smelled like thick
filet chinese food and sabaro pizza and like the three of the it's like when cartman was farting
on the burgers and it made this perfect storm of deliciousness like like and right next to it was
the arcade and the arcade
had this plasticky smell that was heavenly too and i just remember like that was the most fun i could
have on a weekend is when my grandma would take us and we'd go watch a movie at the at the mall
because there's a theater attached and then we'd go get some sabaro pizza or some chinese food and
then i'd play a roll of quarters in the arcade i'm trying to figure out why malls failed and you
said well there's nothing there.
I can't get online.
But what you described about liking the mall isn't online.
They don't sell that smell.
They don't sell that experience with your grandmother.
They don't like...
But going to the mall used to be a destination.
Now it's not.
Now it's a less efficient way to get jeans no like the way
it is now right is that i want to watch a movie got it right here right i can download the thing
i can watch it now all the streaming services have new movies anyway i want chick-fil-a well
they'll deliver it to my house i want sabaro pizza it wasn't that good anyway like i can come up with
better pizza than that and uh you know i want some chinese food they'll deliver that right to my
house an arcade i'm sitting in front of five thousand dollars worth of arcade machinery right I can come up with some better pizza than that. And, you know, I want some Chinese food. They'll deliver that right to my house. An arcade.
I'm sitting in front of $5,000 worth of arcade machinery right fucking now.
I can play every game in the world.
Better arcade machinery.
It's the best arcade machine in the world right here.
And I don't have to put quarters in it.
Yeah.
If I go get a joystick, I can fucking do aircraft games.
The only thing I don't have is a chair that, like, does all that nonsense.
Neither does the mall. aircraft games. The only thing I don't have is a chair that does all that nonsense.
Neither does the mall.
The only thing there's certain movies that you can only see
in theaters.
I just went to the theater for the first time
in a year and I saw the trailer for
Top Gun 2.
When you see it
on your computer,
oh wow, that's cool.
When I saw that trailer in the theater
holy shit that just blew it just it was 10 times better just having that and i have a home theater
like i have a good home theater 7.1 surround sound but when you're in a theater and you see
that trailer for that jet and tom cruise yeah there's certain movies you just have to see
i wonder if i think screen i have a i have a decent home theater too i think it's 5.1 surround
sound but i have a 109 inch like projector screen and uh it's pretty good like i i don't know if
the movie theater is better maybe the better movie theaters are better yeah but movie theater style
seats in there woody no it's just my couch it's my living room we have that big projector tv but it's also the
experience with the other people like you remember watching endgame with other people
and then um you know captain america here is on your left and you remember the roar of the crowd
whenever a bunch of moments like that when he held the hammer yeah and that's
what i'm saying like you can't it's not the same on your own or with your girlfriend who didn't
watch marvel comics when she grew up you know what i mean like you have when you experience
that person it's a whole different i'm getting goosebumps just talking about that dude that
know what i mean that was the best example that you used end game it may be the best example in my lifetime of watching movies where everyone else getting excited added to it at the same time like
it was just my yeah but that's not every movie or even most movies or even a third of movies yeah
that's true but you gotta experience certain moments at the yeah i like to watch christopher
nolan shit like anytime they do something cool
with the uh like if they do 80 millimeter uh there's an 80 millimeter projector about 45 i
guess now it's a little farther but in view for georgia there's one uh so i go there and uh get
to watch oh 70 millimeter not 80 70 millimeter uh and because tarantino likes to play with that
shit and so does uh christopher nolan it's a really cool viewing experience i watched hateful
eight and 70 millimeter yeah i watched interstellar and 70 millimeter and it was incredible i saw
tenant in 70 millimeter uh yeah i still haven't watched tenant yet i think i'm gonna there's a
yeah like all the cool movies that came out in the last three years i haven't watched like the
ones that i think are like the ones that i think are like visually cool like yeah because i want to be high when i watch them yeah tenant is so confusing yeah i want to be high when you watch it yeah i've heard that
it's the mind fuck it's it's i've heard that if you thought what was the other one he did with uh
leonardo oh yeah um the one where you go into the dreams uh yeah yeah inception yeah that it's even
more complicated than that inception even more complicated than that.
Inception is more complicated
than most people know.
It's ridiculously complicated.
Google used to do this thing
where they would have people come in and talk to their
staff. Sometimes they were tech topics.
Sometimes they were live topics. Well, they had an
expert on Inception come in
and explain all the shit you missed
in Inception.
It's 45 minutes long. It's online. It's amazing.
And I didn't really...
I thought I knew it.
Inception. I got it. I caught it. Whatever.
I'm not smart enough to watch Inception.
No one listening is smart enough to
watch Inception. If you watch this Google Talk,
it's like 47 minutes long.
You'll be like, Woody was right. I missed half this shit.
I totally believe that
i feel that way about that movie have you seen primer oh yeah oh yeah is that the one with the
travel oh my travel loop one and as i was i remember as i was watching it because the reason
i watched it as many years ago it was because someone was like this is the most topsy-turvy
you know difficult to follow but in a cool way and it's like a low budget thing you can tell from the cameras and the setup and like i was like oh i bet i bet it's
you know just like inception and i watched it and like there were so many times i had to just be
like uh no i don't get it like i don't understand what's happening right oh i get it he's like
coming back into he's like 10 minutes behind. No, he's not.
I don't get it again.
I watch Primer and then I read the Wikipedia to explain Primer to me.
And then I watch it again.
This time understanding
it. And then we'll repeat that
process. And I don't get it.
I need to do the whole thing again.
You can read it. And then if someone's like, can you explain
this? You'd be like, no.
Dude, Primer's so
tricky. If you watch it, you gotta
have four hours because you need to watch it twice.
Yeah, there's a YouTube video like
the one for Inception and
it breaks Primer down and I'll
usually watch Primer. I'll watch the YouTube
video. I'll finally grasp
every bit of it and then
a year will transpire and we'll bring up primer again on the show and i'm like what the fuck was
that about again because there's there's like one part where like he's showing the guy how the time
travel works and they're like sitting in his car and he's like what are we doing here why are we
sitting here he says just wait just wait and you look and it's it's them it's a duplicate of them
like walking into
where the time machine is and like that's us earlier today they're they're going to hop in
the time machine and he's like well what if we go in there right now are they still in there
i will be for like 15 more minutes but then it's just like it i'm probably wrong about that part
like i don't even know if they were still going to be in there when they got in there like it was
it's so fucking mind-breaking the way it's not like back to the future where it's like when this shit it's 88
miles an hour you're gonna see some serious shit like no we don't just like we don't just go back
in time with a delorean delorean it's like this weird complex version of time travel
when a time travel movie lays out the rules of time travel for us right yeah they were
different in endgame than they were in back to the future and they're different in primer and
there's another one i can't recall but they'll lay it out like this is how time travel works in
this movie and then they stick to it i love it i love it they do it really well it's cool that's
funny that they even discussed that in endgame oh Oh, yeah. So Back to the Future was full of shit, huh?
Yeah.
That was funny.
But yeah, Tenet will screw up your head too, trust me,
because they're going back and forward at the same time.
Does it screw up your head in a good way or in the way like Witcher does
where it's just shitty storytelling?
I don't know. I like the storytelling in Tenet. I don't know about... Wait, Witcher is the one
with the... Henry Cavill. You didn't like
Witcher? I did like it, but I felt like I needed a little hand
holding. It changes. It jumps into the future and the past without telling
you. And it takes a little
while to even figure out that these are the same characters they're just future and past versions
of those characters if i recall yeah the problem was that as a witcher henry cavill doesn't age
and then like like and also like they don't do a good job of like aging the queen at all either
so like if they had aged people appropriately you know like in modern movies
when they do something like that you're like oh i see that guy's got a cell phone now like we were
in the 80s a minute ago and now there's like that guy's got a tesla but like future is kind of blue
tinted and past is kind of sepia tinted yeah yeah yeah there's no like orange tint so like it was a
little i was lost as well on like the first episode. And I don't remember at what point I figured it out.
But like pretty quickly, I was like, oh, shit.
Now I get it.
They're fucking going back and they're doing flashbacks.
I didn't even realize.
But but yeah, I agree that they could have done a slightly better job considering that one of your characters doesn't age.
Yeah.
That's how they messed up five bloods.
I don't know if you saw five blood yeah
i have okay did you find that weird how the the old guys the vietnam vets were old throughout
the whole thing except for the except for it was super weird and that was really messed up wasn't
that spike lee right yeah and i was like what it was making any sense to me like i guess he was
doing that are the bloods referring to the gang?
No, they were five guys
who were in a Vietnam platoon together
and they went back to Vietnam to dig up some
stuff. And they kept the
old actors
in the
old footage and
the new footage.
They didn't have the budget to de-age
them.
I think it was an artistic choice yeah he did on purpose and it has the guy from uh who was black panther the
actor who passed away chadwick boseman was in it and he was their commander from the past
but he was young but they were old in the past like it didn't it was just really stupid yeah it
it wasn't a very good movie either.
Like I was kind of bummed out of the way that whole thing ended.
Like whenever I'm watching a movie like that,
where we're just trying to like,
uh,
you know,
get the treasure or whatever.
And it doesn't,
it,
I always want them to get the goddamn treasure.
I'm like,
I want them to get the treasure.
So if they end up like,
I don't like Hollywood endings though.
I don't like Hollywood endingswood endings though i don't like hollywood endings i like weird alternate endings i suppose so have you seen the new suicide squad that just came out recently that was great that's great it's on it's on either
hbo or disney it's probably the first one was it's on hbo already yeah it's on hbo or at least
it was that's where i watched it okay i saw in theaters yeah it's excellent i think they did both at the same time um it's
really fucking good they kept some of the actors obviously they kept what's her name that plays
harley quinn yeah and uh but but they've got and flag uh i had completely forgotten him and the
lady who runs the whole thing but uh john cena is in there he's hilarious he was funny there was a comedy
almost yeah and um um idris elba elba one of my favorite actors uh he's in there he's doing a
great job he's kind of taking over the will smith character it's a different character but he was
good though he did not look like he was in shape um he wasn't a lot of armor who are we talking about idris elba
the black guy from the black guy they wanted to be james bond oh i know him he looks out of shape
right now i'd be okay with him as james bond he's the guy that has he's not a woman james bond is
he the guy that knows the effect he has on women from the office yeah yeah i'm aware of the effect
i have on women yeah but he's not in shape now huh i didn't know
him from the office he didn't look everything else he does oh he's great in the office like
he's kind of a he's michael scott's job for a little bit oh uh actually no he's he's the he's
the uh he's the he's the he's the vp of um regional sales um okay yeah he's my hero it doesn't matter
i want to be him.
You're doing really good right now.
I feel like we're not doing our job right if we don't talk about your
music experience.
What do
you do exactly?
My brother
started a company called Maximus Entertainment
back in the day.
And we work with a guy named, a director named Director X or Little X.
Director X worked under a guy named Hype Williams.
So Hype Williams back in the 90s made the biggest music videos that you've ever seen in your life.
So he did all the Busta Rhymes videos for like a million dollars. He did all of Diddy's videos.
Busta Rhymes videos for like a million dollars.
He did all of Diddy's videos.
He did Missy Elliott's videos and she's got the big black inflated suit on.
And then you stand the rain.
And, and then X came up under him and we were part of X's crew.
So, you know, we did the, you know, casting direct.
He did the directing.
We did everything behind the scenes.
Is X a musician or a producer? He's just, he's the director. We did everything behind the scenes. Is X a musician or a producer?
He's just the director.
He's a straight director.
So if you Google Director X, you'll see all the stuff he did. And he's done Archer's videos, Diddy's videos.
Anything that was top 10 in the 90s, he did them.
And you were on X's staff?
Yeah, pretty much.
So behind the scenes stuff and everything.
What did you do?
Very cool.
Everything from casting to production assistance to sound.
Like, it's just wearing many hats depending on the budget of the videos.
Just get shit done.
And, yeah.
And so I've done everything from helping to hire bikini models to helping hold booms to sweeping up sets to watching editing type of thing.
And, you know, it just and then we also started we started doing producing parties for artists.
So whenever Jay-Z had a concert in toronto or new york we'd host the
after party the crazy stuff or uh when diddy did one of his legendary videos we we would host we
would host that party in a certain club and we you know take care of everything so i got you know i
i'd hang out with alicia alicia keys for three days in my car type of thing. Name one big music star who's
cool to everyone regardless of status.
Hard question, apparently.
No, it's...
The answer is not Drake.
No, Drake's pretty nice
actually.
I can tell you he's evil.
Okay.
That was the next question anyway.
Is he evil?
Very big female artist.
Lizzo.
Blonde chick.
Oh.
The blonde chick with the huge ass?
No. Bigger than that.
Britney.
No. No. She's crazy, but
I haven't met Britney. Christina Aguilera.
Lady Gaga?
Bigger than her.
Is this a white girl or black girl?
Really, top 40.
Is she a white girl?
Yeah.
Fuck, I don't know top 40 people.
Taylor Swift is not cool. really oh you're breaking what he's hard evil
person oh why is she this is a whole family like sir i'm devastated you can't look at her in the
eye you can't you can't look at her in the eye if she passes by she can't like people get fired
if they like talk to her directly.
Now that you say it, I know that she came from a privileged house
and she was never
on the bottom. You can't look at her?
That's crazy.
Not directly,
you fucking peon.
You treat her like
the son.
Autographs, nothing.
My little girl's pictures.
All that stuff.
Oh, fuck those little girls.
I can kind of get on board.
I don't know.
I'll tell you.
Buster Rhymes is extremely nice.
He's good.
I like him.
Anyone from Tribe Called Quest is really nice.
Did he die?
I'm mixing him up with
Biz Marquis.
I've never actually got to meet Barth Marquis.
I've met
some movie guys. I just
posted me and Tyrese on my
Facebook page.
Usher, hung out with a lot of times.
But yeah, Taylor Swift is not cool at all let me ask
you this about taylor swift whenever i meet someone who like knows me from youtube i try to
be the best version of me because my fear is that they're gonna be like i met woody he's actually an
asshole and you know like i know the true what do you think you don't know because you just know
him from online the real woody behind the scenes is like this.
So it's like, I don't want that to ever happen.
I don't want that to.
Plus, you know, like, I don't know if they actually like me, then I don't want to like.
Yeah, but that would suck for them.
There'd be a bad experience and that would make me suck.
So is it possible, though, that she did that, that she just was in a dick that one afternoon and now
you have a false impression of her no this is from her staff and past staff with no grudges to bear
this is just you know and it's like it's because i'm like you like in the paintball world
you know i'm kind of popular and you know, I have my little clothing line and I sign posters when I go to game and I
sign merch and I take pictures of lots of people. And like,
even I have haters, like I have, I have wolf hater groups. Oh, he just,
you know, he just plays for the camera and he only shows up when there's money
involved and he only does this. And, and, uh,
I talked to him once and he was a hole i go i wasn't even in that country but
nothing you can do to stop it and i take that into consideration when i you know i i see stuff
like this right and it's like it's it's and i like nine you'll never see a picture of me
angry or mad and you know what i mean? I'm very appreciative of all of it.
People can like you for no reason
whatsoever. There are people who will
not like you just because you're known.
There's people out there who don't
like popular people.
Period. No matter who
they are.
People assume I have an ego
because I
want to be famous. If I want to be famous.
If I wanted to be famous, I wouldn't have chose paintball to do it in.
You know what I mean?
I know famous people.
I would have stayed in that world.
You know what I mean?
One thing that can happen is everyone says Wolf's the nice guy.
Everyone who meets Wolf knows that he's a nice guy.
Wolf is a nice guy.
And then one guy says, actually, I have the inside scoop. The truth is he's a stinky poo-poo head.
And then they're like, oh, really? You know the inside
scoop? And they believe that instead of the mountains of evidence
they've seen that you're a nice guy. A negative rumor were spread
across the world faster than you can wake up in the morning.
There's nothing you can do about it. um someone wants to believe something bad about you you could do all you can to prove otherwise
and and there's nothing you can do and so you can't you can't spend your time trying to fight
that because that's that's their narrative but on the question you couldn't come up with a guy
who's just really nice no i did i told you I told you. I'm sorry. You're right.
There's several. There's a lot
of guys who are very appreciative of what they have.
You know who I met? Mark Wahlberg.
Mark Wahlberg is one of the nicest guys
you'll ever meet. Andre3000
is one of the most humble guys you'll ever meet.
I didn't expect Mark Wahlberg.
Yeah, I met him on a set of Four Brothers.
And he was totally cool.
Very cool dude.
You're like, some people will hate you just for being famous.
I made assumptions about him because so many girls considered him their dream guy, right?
Was it Backstreet Boys?
When he was doing his underwear modeling days.
The underwear modeling days.
And then he was in a boy band.
Help me.
Was it Backstreet Boys?
No, his brother was in the boy band. Mark Wahlberg was not in a boy band. Help me. Was it Backstreet Boys? No, his brother was in a boy band.
Donnie O'Rourke was not
in a boy band. No, he was on his own. He was
Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch.
Well, there was the Funky Bunch.
That wasn't a group. It was just Marky Mark.
He was never in the group? No, it was his brother.
His older brother was in...
And he also hated
Mark O'Rourke.
Yeah, but...
I was going to go there too. I was going to go there too.
I was going to go there too.
He wasn't in New Kids on the Block.
That's his brother, Donnie
Wahlberg.
I'm sorry, Zach wrote it in a way that can...
Donnie Wahlberg is the younger
brother? Zach set me up for failure.
Donnie is the older brother.
I didn't know that.
You learn something useless every day.
But yeah, anyway, because he was an underwear model, because he was in music, I was like,
all these girls are throwing themselves at him.
I bet he considers people a little disposable.
Like, I just projected this upon him.
But people think that about me.
Right? They think that, oh, because
he gets flown out to games
and he plays for free.
You know, they think the same
stuff about me. But I think that's
a normal human reaction for
some when you see someone who's
all the glitz and glamour, right?
You don't see the human.
You just see
what you see proposed in front of you.
But it's, you know, I put it this way.
Like, I've gotten to meet Brad Pitt a couple of times.
And, you know, if you live your entire life
with people always taking your picture
and you can't go anywhere,
I mean, as a regular person,
that sounds like a dream almost.
Drake can't leave his house and go for a walk type of thing
in Toronto without getting...
That could
get you upset.
It would drive you crazy for a while.
You have to buy out
a whole restaurant to go and eat.
It would be in a bathroom.
Eminem said he'll be in the bathroom with his daughter and making sure she's okay and fans
will try to come in and get autograph you know what i mean like there's certain things where
it seems like you're being a douchebag but you just want to live like you appreciate your fans
but at the same time there's a lot of people who don't know boundaries right no they'll try and get you every time like
you can't like i heard brad pitt say you can't sign autographs with black ink you gotta do with
blue ink because then they'll take your autograph and put it on other stuff and pretend oh this is
an original by brad pitt and yada yada you know i've always thought that was a little like
like a movie star would be like i'll'll sign something for you, but I want to make sure you don't profit off
of it. And I'm like,
why? It doesn't hurt you at all?
But people can take it
like, for instance,
there's guys out there
who will
and I know Drake personally
and
there's guys out there who would take pictures
with him and they'll go out and get
business deals and say, Hey, this is my friend, Drake.
He's in this business too.
He's in this deal too.
So you can invest with me.
It's safe.
And I hear you.
I don't know.
Well, if you told me my signature was 15 grand, I'd give you three.
I don't care.
You need four.
I can do it.
Yeah.
I'd give you three.
I don't care.
You need four.
I can do it.
Yeah.
Like,
but yeah, again,
we can't,
we,
it's hard for us to think of ourselves that high up because when it's
millions,
it all is at stake and reputations and jobs and coming.
I'm going to take Brad Pitt's fucking signature and put it on a
Hitler.
I'm going to have him signing the furor and like,
like,
like best wishes. I'm, I'm your biggest fan. And the Fuhrer and like best wishes
I'm your biggest fan
and then I put that on Hitler
and sell that and then we'll see how his reputation
is taking him as an example
can you make this out to my nephew Adolf
but it's
because like I said
I've gotten to hang around like you know
Alicia Keys
and we were driving around for a while
and
she was the nicest person
ever and little girl came up to her
and you know what I mean
and it's like nicest person ever and then
you get the people who start taking it too far
you know what I mean and just start
trying to take earrings
from her and clothing
and getting souvenirs
and stuff. There's a lot of them
out there. I saw Ewan McGregor get stopped
in the street earlier today.
He's signing stuff for him. He's like,
could you take a picture with her? He's like,
you can take a picture of me, but I
got a jet.
Then he smiles.
If you've ever seen Ewan McGregor smile,
even watching the video, I was like,
oh.
Dude's so fucking good looking.
But I was just like, yeah, that's fair.
That's fair.
Dude's fucking walking down the street. You've stopped him.
You've impeded his...
He's clearly going somewhere.
Yeah.
I don't know when that video was from, but
if it's any time recently, I don't want to get
too close to people anywhere.
Do you get vaccinated, Fish?
I mean, not Fish. Wolf.
I got a friend named Fish.
Where did you get Fish from?
My friend Fish has been messaging me.
I got double Vax.
Yeah, me too, man.
I got kids.
I got responsibilities.
I know I want to travel again. Taylor, did you get vaccinated no not yet yeah we were are you one of the
conspiracy theorists or what's what's the thought process no i don't think it's out to hurt anybody
or anything it's just there's no long-term fertility studies yet my wife and i want to
have kids and so we just want to make sure that there's nothing. I mean, it did get rushed.
And so it doesn't have the normal breadth of time that you have to analyze.
And so that was our main thing is we want to wait for a longer period.
I'll go get another shot.
You just need a shot every six months to stay in trouble.
The Pfizer, the J&J.
You're going to have to.
Well, you're going to get another shot.
They're injecting people with something over my Circle K.
I'm going to go get some of that too.
Yeah, I mean, I called Walgreens the other day to get a prescription,
pick one up for my wife, and they're doing third shots for people now there.
Yeah.
Already?
As soon as I can get it, I'm getting it.
Yeah, yeah.
Did you guys feel anything after the second shot?
I didn't feel a damn thing.
I felt a little bit like I had the tiniest bit of muscle soreness.
And I had a sore throat, but I think that was unrelated.
I think I just got a little bug or something or maybe just slept with my mouth open.
But I inject myself every day.
So occasionally, the problem is I think that they go too fast.
They're just like, wham.
And I'm like, you know, ma'am, I know you're a nurse, but I inject myself
twice a day, every fucking day.
And I go nice and slow so it
doesn't hurt. I get that there's a line
of people here, but they just jam that
thing in. And I think that that
caused the bruising. That's what they do to military guys, right?
That's why they call it the chow.
I didn't feel
much soreness, but I had the chills
the night after, big time.
Big time. Big time chills.
But the day, and I was a little tired
the day after, but after that. Which one?
I had
AZ, the first
one, and Moderna, the second one.
Oh, okay. You can do it like
Pokemon cards?
Like magic combos?
You can mix and match?
You're not supposed to collect them all.
Because they said the AZ was not as effective
as they wanted it to be, so they recommended
Moderna for the second one.
AZ is the one they shut down in Europe.
Right?
Yeah, I think so. They might have.
Temporarily or permanently shut down?
Temporarily.
Because the Europeans got a different one than we did.
Apparently. But again, they said permanently shut down. Because the Europeans got a different one than we did, apparently.
But again, they said to Mitch,
and I have two doctors
in our family, and so I don't
go on the
weird web that conspiracies theory is.
You don't go to Facebook to get your medical advice?
No, I'm sorry.
I get mine on TikTok.
Unironically.
What I'm happy about is all these guys,
I thought they were virologists,
but now they're military experts.
Facebook is full of every kind of expert.
Just wait for the news to drop that day
and they'll know.
Yeah.
If you had sent my Facebook feed to Afghanistan,
they'd figure that shit out
in two weeks yeah bro i i i i've seen too many like i look at it this way all the people who
are have the conspiracy theories against it is not anyone i would take medical advice from
like they're all you know i mean they're all they're all my friends who are you know they're i don't have any issues with what they do for a living
but none of them are near the medical profession you know what i mean i think there's a certain
kind of guy who has found like acceptance in this club this club that is like anti-vax and sort of conspiracy-oriented and MAGA, perhaps.
QAnon. These guys, they all
support and like each other, and now they're finding some
support and group dynamic and happiness in their club.
It's just a shame that that club is projecting
vaccine silliness. It's crazy. And it's like a shame that that club is projecting vaccine silliness.
It's crazy.
And it's like,
there's people in getting into fistfights over wearing masks,
like little cloth masks.
I mean,
like,
dude,
like it's,
there's some 30 seconds.
Come out the store.
Like,
it's like,
great thing.
It's,
it's,
it's,
it's,
it's killing them.
So in Texas,
just ripped a mask off a teacher at a parent
teacher conference jesus christ you know you sit down oh you guys might not i don't know if we'll
have kids anyway you go you meet your kid's teacher maybe twice a year and he told you about
his child he's got kids we're three hours no two hours and 49 minutes ago. Can I have a pass? I need a pass right now. You guys had a discussion about his son.
This is like that episode of The Office where they're roasting Michael, and he's like,
yo, Michael, you always say we're a family, right?
It's like, yeah, that's right.
We're all very close here.
See this gentleman back here?
What's his name?
And there's a black guy in the back.
He's like, um, Roy?
Roy left here years ago, dog.
Specifically asked for a pass. I'm right years ago specifically i drove home last week we sat in traffic for an hour and michael's like i i i'm sorry i don't know michael his name is also michael
so as you're saying woody it's a wonder I can find my car in the car park.
Is it hot in here?
I think it's hot in here.
Anyway, parent-teacher conference.
Dude ripped the mask off the teacher.
I thought it was next level insanity.
That's super shitty.
There should be a punishment for that, a serious one.
Taylor, you want to... That's assault, too.
You can't just grab somebody and do shit like that. I agree.
Spitting on somebody is assault. If that shit Boogie did
is aggravated assault, then pulling somebody's mask
off is aggravated assault. Can you imagine
tearing somebody's shirt off in public
and they didn't want you to take their shirt off?
Yeah. Yeah, that would be
assault. So that's
pretty cool. Oh no, not my shirt.
Oh, Kyle.
Oh no. Oh no, you're shirt. Oh no.
You're taking off my shirt at the yoga studio.
Enough for me and the kids and filters for two.
You're the different kind of Facebook person.
I see.
I'm one of those.
He's on the other side of the Facebook continuum.
I'm the one with all the toilet paper.
We can jump back to whatever, but we've got a few advertisements.
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Yeah, so
that was my other gas mask. I carry
one. I have a go bag in
my car that I have with me at all times
in case there's a dirty bomb that hits or something.
Damn, you're prepared for the
biochemical attacks.
NBC
CBR rated for nuclear
fallout and stuff.
Iodine capsules.
Iodine capsules.
I've got six
55 gallon drums of water.
No, I got
my work for
a pharmaceutical firm.
He's dead.
If there's an apocalypse, I want to die.
I want to die early.
Really?
There's not a lot of happiness that happens
afterwards.
I want to make it.
When the world collapses?
I don't know.
I don't think I'll do well.
Everyone imagines they'll do well, but some gang
of guys like Wolf has been preparing and they're gonna be they're gonna be rolling down the street as you're like like
counting the number of cans of ravioli you have i feel like i just need to find that group and
they'll be like are you fbs russia i know he has guns a lot of guns i'm very popular amongst right
wing militia groups all right i I'll do A-OK.
That could save you in the end.
Can I hang with you guys? Hang with us.
Can we make him Colonel Conner or something?
It has a ring to it.
I think I'll be OK.
It's AI
got it all. I've been doing that.
I've got generated. I've been doing
that stuff since the 90s
blackout.
Yikes. Wow. You're ready.
What kind of like...
You have MREs? You may have just said a minute ago,
but I didn't hear you. Yeah. I've got a few.
A lot of MREs I don't
trust because they don't last long term.
I just
keep rotating certain food
sources. Yeah. I got
obsessed with this YouTube channel
that reviews MREs.
Yeah.
And he makes them seem delicious.
He's like, oh, we've got a 1986
Czech Republic
fucking MRE. This is the MRE
that they gave to the pilots.
You crack it open and it's like
all sorts of disgusting shit.
He's just like, mmm.
That's got a nice smoky flavor and
i'm sitting there like does it now i'm hungry watching this it's like it's like sitting and
watching someone like a like a food network or something next thing i know i'm on not even amazon
i'm on ebay buying like european mres from like the early 90s oh wow none of them are good they're
all awful yeah just disgusting i i did end up with a case of i still
got a case of american like current issue mres yeah price stuff yeah yeah i think they're like
12 bucks a pop or something like that yeah um they're not cheap but they're actually not too
bad i think maybe like there's some sort of like cheesy chili macaroni or something like that like
vegan stuff now and everything,
man.
Yeah.
They've got like vegetarian pasta.
And,
uh,
some of those are like anything that's like noodles and like tomato sauce.
Yeah.
They have that figured out.
Yeah.
But if you try to do like an MRE hamburger or an MRE hot dog or anything,
that's no good.
The thing is the,
the thing is,
oh,
you got to think of it when you're,
if you're at a point that you're starving so badly, you're gonna care no about the right like no you wouldn't care and from my
what i've learned from experience you don't want to get stuff that tastes good in your storage
because people are just gonna start eating it when they don't need to you know what i mean like
i mean it works for a diet you know yeah You just want to store some dry oatmeal.
Yeah, because it's like the pantry is running low. The kids are just going to go
downstairs and get the food that they like in the
emergency supply. In the early days
of the coronavirus,
somebody was making the point
about what happens if
the gasoline gets shut down. What if the guys
who run the oil
fucking systems
are all too sick to
work or whatever and i did go get like i don't know less than 10 pounds but more than five pounds
of rice and dried beans yep but this if people don't understand how weak or how independent the
system is like grocery stores only carry enough food for 72 hours so if say for instance the
trucking industry stopped they'd run out of food in like two days at most three because everyone's
gonna be rushing out getting food like crazy look at how fast everything emptied during the beginning
of covid look at how fast every the shelves empty. If that happened on a long-term basis,
oh my gosh, it would be insane.
And it's funny because I talk about this
and I was like, people think like,
oh, you know what?
It wouldn't be like the movies.
People aren't going to attack each other
over when shit hits the van and stuff.
You go, are you crazy?
Have you seen how people act
during a Black Friday sale?
And that's over a tv how are people
going to act when their kids are starving like and we're so far away from that third world
mentality we're so first world that we can't even envision what like what it'd be like like we don't
like humans in north america don't look out for each
other like we just want people to like wear a mask and we got people fighting over that
you know what i mean like think about it i feel like they're on this the mask thing to me i'm
sorry if i could it's like the downside of wearing a mask is you wore a mask when you didn't need one the upside is you've saved
lives and and to me it's just a no fucking brainer like like these conspiracy theories who were like
oh this and that about the virus it doesn't it's not even that dangerous etc and i'd read that i'd
be like you know like some it does seem like a healthy young man like myself would be okay i get that but like what is
what what is at stake here me putting on a mask like i don't know about y'all but i've got a super
comfy mask i've got one of the ones that's like a neck uh neckerchief like it's like a stretchy
like pantyhose type thing that comes up first of all everybody looks better in a mask second of all
second of all like i i feel like
it's almost like wearing sunglasses around other people you like don't have to deal with them i can
kind of like it i can kind of go to my own little place so when i walk into like a pharmacy or
something now i was in the pharmacy a couple days ago like 15 people in there waiting in line
and i got my fucking mat i'm like a bank robber i even said that when i got up there i'm like you
know if i'd walked in here two years ago with this you'd call the cops because i got like the full like thing up covering half this much of
my face yeah and then i got my like sunglasses on i don't mind it a bit i don't mind it got into
watching formula one and they all have these like stylized european cut masks they look great i was
like that's what i want so that's what i I have. But as Kyle was saying, how little
does it take
to look out for other people?
And these guys are...
And look at all these friggin' cases
building up in Florida now
of all these governors and
Tucker Carlson is like, oh, man, now you gotta
get the vaccine.
It took people to die for people to change
their ways. Like I swear,
sometimes humanity just asked for it.
Like,
it's like,
Jesus Murph.
Like I was wearing masks before you had to wear a mask.
Like I,
two,
I like the January when the January before COVID really broke out,
I sent up,
I had a box of N95 mask.
Like you can get it from home Depot for 1899 box of N95 masks. You can get them from Home Depot for $18.99, a box of 20.
And I just sent a text to my family, go out and buy a couple boxes of these now at Home Depot.
All right?
And they all laughed at me.
LOL, oh, you and your end of the world stuff.
Oh, you and your pepper.
And I said, just please, go out and buy.
Two months later, gone.
You couldn't find it.
And not even the hospitals could get 95 masks, right?
And now you try and get them now.
They're like five bucks for one disposable mask for our 95.
Really?
Yeah.
Wildly expensive.
Wildly expensive.
And they're so cheap to make.
How much does it cost to make that?
Like three cents?
At least.
At the most.
And it's like, I still have boxes in there.
But it's like, I mean, imagine if just with a real pandemic.
Like something, what was that movie with?
World War Z.
His wife was cheating on him in Beijing.
And she came back and brought the disease over.
It's with the guy from
not
it's not going to come to me now.
That's not Contagion, is it?
Yes, Contagion.
Have you seen that movie?
Go watch that movie. That will get your good
paranoia going really good.
So I've argued against the survival
stuff a couple times on this show.
Okay. The thought process was like,
it's almost like these people wish there was an alternative world where they
get to be Negan and there'll be in charge.
And if you really want to change your life for the better,
go to community college and learn to weld or HVAC or whatever.
That was the thing I put out there a bunch of times now that we're deeper
into this COVID thing.
And I'm watching how people respond.
And I've just finished watching the whole walking dead.
It's like maybe maybe Wolf is on to something. Maybe, yeah.
Tell me your worries. I don't think it's your first thing.
I think that maybe the first thing you get to, if you're young
in life, you're broke, you have no skills, step one, go to community
college and learn HVAC repair.
Step two,
accumulate a little money and buy some
memories.
Maybe not step two, but anyway, I'm not saying
that should be your primary
focus, but if you have some of your other bases
covered, it's not
dumb. I'm not one of those doomsday
guys. Have you seen
that show? Doomsday Preppers?
With the mask on, you cosplay
as one.
You definitely are.
You're more similar to that show than you're letting on.
I've seen that show.
It's a cool show.
There are people out there
who live that 24-7.
That's a real meme, right?
Him wearing that mask with what looks
like guns behind him and then text saying,
I'm not one of those doomsday people.
I'm not some weirdo.
There are guys out there who
take their families out in the middle of nowhere
and start trying to live
off the grid and solar panels and
drinking rainwater and eating.
Guys who drive themselves into poverty
by decking out shipping containers.
They invest all of their money into it.
No, dude.
I have properties.
I have businesses.
I have kids going to college.
I've got hot women.
I have a lot.
Your other bases are covered.
Very much so.
I'm not going broke
buying
equipment, but at the same time,
when something
did happen, I didn't have to run out
and get toilet paper.
I didn't have to run out.
There was a point where
chicken broth.
Everyone started buying all the chicken broth
for some reason. I already
had that in storage. There's no calories
in there.
I don't know why it happened. It's just random
stuff. I have
a generator if the power goes out.
I have most of the bases
covered that I can survive for
a few months without.
You know what I mean?
How many watts is your generator?
How many watts is your generator? I'm not even sure, actually. a few months without, you know what I mean? Yeah. I don't know. I've got,
huh?
How many Watts is your generator?
I'm not even sure.
Actually.
I,
I just started every couple of months and make sure it's running.
Okay.
But I have enough,
like,
I'm not like,
again, I'm not that into it that I know the specific wattage and yada.
I know I have enough power to keep certain things running if need be for a
good amount of time.
But again,
seeing a human,
the reality of how humans react when it comes to hard times,
made me realize that a,
the government,
I'm not anti-government guy.
I'm not one of those guys.
The government's not going to look out for you because they'll just shut everything down and all those government guys are rich anyway so they're
just being mansions and you know it's it's how many movies have you seen where the government
just shuts down and people go crazy it's like that's not that's a human condition thing it's
not like you know we're not people are not going to be singing kumbaya on campfires as the zombies are coming.
They're going to be trying to take each other's food.
Well, that's what every zombie movie is about.
Every zombie movie has the undertone of it's not the zombies that are the number one thing to deal with.
It's the other people who are going to be trying to steal your generator and take your food and pilfer your toilet paper.
And it's 100% true. be trying to steal your generator and take your food and pill for your toilet paper and you're talking about uh true doomsday preppers like the way you said it is a million percent true because
there is there is no middle class prepper on the planet based on that show it is someone who has
thirty thousand dollars to their name and built something that's not i wouldn't spend a weekend
there on a bet or there are guys who are multi, multi millionaires
and took a little piece of their fortune.
One guy built an actual castle.
He's like, I want to be able to survive,
and I also love the Middle Ages.
So I built a castle.
And he has his nine children come there
and do a contest.
A survival contest. Literally handing them bows. Like, you know what I've taught you. his like nine children come there and do a contest and like a survival con literally like
handing them bows like you know what i've taught you i can't leave this to all of you and some of
you don't take it seriously so we're having a competition to see who will get left this
really valuable piece of land with this goofy castle on it and it's like his kids competing
in like archery and some of them are like over getting talked to by the camera like this is
fucking retarded man i don't i don't even want it and then some of them are like over getting talked to by the camera like this is fucking retarded man i don't want i don't even want it and then some other ones are like
yeah i want the fucking castle i could sell this for like four million dollars
you know which land is on this we have a lake moving water you know there's well water we got
everything yeah i can sell this to some you know land settlement company but it's like it's it's it's you know like again like
it's just basic survival instinct i guess but i don't especially when i have kids i want to make
sure they're okay you know what i mean like when you see all these survival movies 99 of them are
a guy surviving on his own you know what one thing One movie that struck me was...
It's not going to come to me now.
The movie with Brad Pitt and his family and the zombies.
Oh, that's World War Z.
That was the first movie
that really took
a guy and his kids and put them in that scenario.
And I was like,
holy shit, could I survive that?
Everyone thinks about it on their own.
No one thinks about it...
No, he survived four plane crashes in that movie.
That's true.
That was stupid, but I'm saying.
There's like an RV with the keys in it just when he needed it.
Yeah, I know.
I'm not saying it was great, but I'm saying.
He escaped Israel at one point.
That scene was so cool, though.
That scene was so cool, though.
Escape from Israel.
I play that game.
If people don't
take it seriously, and people
are freaking out just because they have to wear a mask,
and like I said, if food ever
runs dry for real,
you're going to see some nasty
stuff from humanity. If the internet
ever dies, if there's one EMP
and there's no way to talk to each
other and there's no government to tell you what to do and you know there's no radios maybe ham
radios but if like one good emp dirty bomb sets off after you know some guy from afghanistan comes
over says it off people like just go crazy and crazy and start stealing stuff from stores
and take this and take that.
I taught my kids how to use
my Bolt Action 308 the other day.
Someone was a little worried about it. Are you
crazy to me? They learned how to
use my AR the weekend before that.
And go, how many kids don't
know how to actually
safely operate a firearm?
Especially in Canada.ada actually the states too
mostly we have four years old already it's time to learn it depends on the state here like every
single person i knew being from missouri they learned how to shoot guns when they were younger
but like friends from like even like colorado california they're like wait what you were a
child and they gave you a gun it's like yeah, yeah, my grandpa gave me my first shotgun, a 20 gauge
when I was six. Yeah, but I lived
in New York for a very long time.
No one knows how to shoot there.
Very few know how to shoot there. And they're also like
or not all, that's not a fair generalization,
but like so many of them treat
guns like they're just gonna go off
being around it. Yeah. They're like, this is
intrinsically dangerous.
It's like, no, it's a paperweight until you pick it up and then you need to have the right it's either that i've
found like people who are from areas that aren't big on guns it's either like don't even want to
touch it don't even want to like be around it which i would prefer to the other kind which is
like does not treat it at all with the reverence that it deserves where they're like oh we're just
goofing around with guns like aha so we're like we're like a bunch of dumb rednecks aren't we and it's like well
you just barrel swept four people you fucking cunt uh what's wrong with you like this isn't a joke
like just because you think like some hillbilly is this is just you think it's a hillbilly thing
doesn't mean those hillbillies are going out there like yeehaw like shooting each other like
they're all being careful yeah or they're dead. And Canada, it's like there's no...
I don't want to say there's no need for guns up here,
but a lot of Americans don't know what it is like in Canada.
It's so...
I lived in New York and chose to move back up here
because it's so much more peaceful and less racism
and the healthcare
system is so awesome and you don't have to worry
about anything, right?
But the thing is,
if I was a
gangster, I would take my
crew and move up to Canada because you could
take everything.
I've seen so many mob movies that have done that.
Nobody has guns to protect
themselves.
Police are completely...
If you're ever a joker and came up to Canada, it'd be a field day.
You know what I mean?
There's no protection
of any kind because we're so used to...
I mean, we have a few shootings here,
but it's not...
It's only people who...
Guys who are selling drugs who shoot each other.
We don't have school shootings. We don't have school shootings.
We don't have random shootings.
Once in a while, we get some crazy person and run people down under a truck on the side or something like that.
But they're so spoiled here that when I say I know how to use a firearm, they look at me like I'm the full-on crazy doomsday prepper just because I know how to use them or at one.
So it's so far removed up here that I'm going to be an alpha if anything should really hit up here.
You know what I mean?
So it's like it's scary.
But I what do you got to think about?
You know, and you have, you know, I mean, you've been on that property for a while now, but you've got the land and the resources to be able to accumulate a few things.
Don't go crazy, but just think about, you know.
I've got two generators, and I don't know how many guns.
So there's a good start.
No, but you need to eat something, man.
The most tempting thing about panning out.
He has neighbors.
If one neighbor grows food, I wonder how many guns he has
i'll let you live if you keep growing the food
what is three days without water three weeks without food yep and the three or i think of
three minutes without air or something like that, but it's three, three, three. It's like, yeah. And it's like a, what a gallon of water a day per person.
Yeah. At least if you're, if you're marching around,
that's not even for washing and stuff. Right.
So it's like people don't think about these things and like,
Lord forbid that remember if the power goes out,
water goes out because the water is pumped by the power
so you know what i mean like it's people don't think about stuff how does your water come what
oh we have a well the generator can run it okay there you go that's nice that's still ran by the
power though yeah we're coming to your place i mean if i had to pick another country to live in
is it the kind of well that's drilled or bored?
I actually don't know. Could you lower a bucket
in it? I'm not sure there's a concrete
thing on the hole.
Is it this big around?
Yeah, it's like a manhole cover size.
Yeah, you could pop that out.
I don't know what's under the cover though.
For all I know, it's a manhole size cover in a
six inch hole.
You wouldn't expect that. You could pop that cover off. You can see all the way down to the water. size cover in a six inch hole. You wouldn't expect that.
Oh no, you could, you'd pop that cover off.
You can see all the way down to the water.
You could lower a bucket in there.
I grew up with a well.
Go look.
Okay.
Or figure out at least a hand pump system.
Like one of those, you know what I mean?
I don't know how deep it is.
I know there's a lot of flow.
Like that was a thing we look for in the house.
I, uh, I would be, I'm number one. Canada would be the place was a thing we looked for in the house. I would be
number one.
Canada would be the place I'd move if I couldn't live here.
The hockey is the biggest selling point.
The hockey sucks here now.
Leafs need to get in the playoffs.
Yeah, the Leafs humiliate themselves.
The Leafs had a documentary crew
follow them all season because they were supposed to be
so good. HBO did it. It was going to be called
All or Nothing. They lost in the first round.
Yeah, we're not. It should just be called
Nothing. Do the Leafs have a
do they use the full budget? That's what I'm trying
to ask. Oh, yeah. I stopped watching.
The Leafs have so much money. Even though
they use the full budget every
year, they can't feel
they cannot get out of the first round.
They'll be world beaters and really impressive
no matter what season. The last game, they gave up one of the five, one lead or something like that.
The Montreal Canadiens, the team that played in, which is absurd.
But the other thing is like health care.
I would love that in Canada.
I'm going through so much fucking health care bullshit right now.
This isn't a funny thing thing but i've been obsessed about
it my my wife has uh a tumor in her spinal cord in the spinal cord we found uh and it's causing
bleeding and it's she has so much fucking nerve pain she can hardly function she like walking is
difficult everything's become and it's getting like real mobility really it's called, she has so much fucking nerve pain. She can hardly function. She like walking is difficult.
Everything's become,
and it's getting like real mobility,
really fast.
It's getting real so fast. And we're both like fucking terrified over it.
Cause spinal things are fucking scary.
So we've even,
I'm like,
I'm barely fucking holding it together.
But,
um,
like,
so we're worried sick about it.
And like,
we're just trying to find like the best hospital and surgeons that can do
this.
Because like we, we went through her health insurance and looked at like neurosurgeons because you need like a really good neurosurgeon to do something like that because you fuck up a spinal cord surgery.
It's it's you don't want to think about it.
But we went to the first one and the guy was like clearly not paying that much attention when we were like telling him things like like I was there in the office with my wife, and we're talking to him, and he's like, move your feet, move your leg, move this.
I can't measure her response to things.
Asking about level of pain, and she's being a trooper, not saying as bad as it is.
And I have to be the husband, like, no, it's fucking brutal.
It's brutally painful.
She can hardly move.
no it's fucking brutal it's brutally painful she can hardly move like bent she she picked up our 12 pound dog the other day and was in excruciating pain for hours because of this nerve pain wrapping
around she's like she started to come on suddenly it we thought it was a pinched nerve for a few
weeks probably probably the better part of a month we thought it was a pinched nerve and then we went
in and she got the MRI and they were like,
we think it's a bleed in the spinal column or the spinal cord, not column.
Cord is even worse. And then we went back,
she had to get it with contrast and they were like,
it's a tumor that's probably causing a bleed, but they think it's a, you know,
it's a benign tumor is our knowledge right now. Thank goodness.
Is it inside or outside the dura?
I don't know my spine that well.
I don't know.
I don't know.
So basically, we got all the details we can right now.
And we go in to talk to this initial neurosurgeon.
We're like, I'm not sold on this guy, but he's who it covers, I guess.
And he's saying things that are discouraging the whole time.
We're like, what's kind of the prognosis?
Like what, what do we need to do?
What about, and he's like, well,
you need this test and that test to rule out this.
And you know, with the spine, it's, it's up in the air.
You never really know, you know?
And we're like, this is a really fucking scary thing to hear.
And we're both like torn up about it.
Unbelievably.
I'm barely sleeping.
And she, the doctor was like any other feelings
you're feeling and my wife's like yeah my hands have started to feel like tingly and numb and
burning at certain times and uh the doctor was like oh hands yeah that's uh that it wouldn't
have anything to do with your hands and we're like okay even sitting there i'm like that doesn't
sound right thank god i have a cousin who just happens to be friends with a neurosurgeon like literally i was
putting out feelers to every fucking person i knew like can you please help me and my wife find like
more information about this like we're desperate and he was like uh you know my neurosurgeon friend
i gave him all the information and he said that that guy saying that hands wouldn't play into it is alarming and really speaks to his lack of knowledge surrounding this because this guy does some or is adjacent to other neurosurgeons who do it.
How is there a neurosurgeon who doesn't know this shit?
Who doesn't make that connection?
It's insane.
And so that basically took us and we were like, okay, zero fucking percent chance I'm putting my wife in this asshole's hands.
I'm not doing that.
And it's one of those things where it's like you think about money and saving and everything like that.
And then like something real like this happens.
And it's like, I don't give a fuck if I have to sell my house and it's every penny I've saved.
give a fuck if i have to sell my house and it's every penny i've saved we are going to whoever the best fucking person is in the country to do we're going wherever they have the most experience
with this and so we've been on that road trying to like end the insurance game and what what's
covered and what's not and the the authorizations needed and the well it'll cover this but not this
and oh actually you can't even come here. We won't even
take you. And you, there are some hospitals now where you can't go there unless you have an
insurance. Not even if you pay a hundred percent out of pocket, you can say, I'll pay every dollar
of this procedure, every dollar of the surgery, every, every single fucking penny. And they'll
be like, no, you can't come here. And sometimes that's the best place. And so we're trying to
work around that right now. And it's like, we, we we got her in in the next couple weeks but that
neurosurgeon friend of a friend of a family member is pulling or trying to pull some strings to get
her in earlier somewhere because unlike the original piece of shit doctor who was like 70
years old clearly on the back nine of his fucking career doesn't really care doesn't pay attention. Another thing he did, my wife has an allergy to the contrast in CT scans.
So she gets, it's not like a, I need a Benadryl. It's like, she's can could die if she gets that.
And it's not treated correctly. I've had to drive her to urgent care before because she got one in
it. Like we were at home and she started getting like, I can't breathe. It was like a while
afterward. And we explicitly told him that because he wanted another one of those tests, this original guy.
And she's my wife's like, I'm allergic to the the contrast.
And he's like, oh, OK, well, we'll we'll put a note in there for that.
The dude didn't put that it was important to expedite.
The dude signed up and said that it should be done with contrast.
And then my wife was calling, trying to organize this.
This is the end of last week before I moved on from this guy.
And she was like, even if we go somewhere else, maybe we should get the test.
I'll call and see if they can at least have somebody there watching me while I'm having it done.
So that if I start to have a reaction, they're there immediately.
And their response was, no, we're not going to do that.
What we'll do is she'll be in there alone.
Someone will be kind of watching. And if she starts to freak out, we'll just not going to do that. What we'll do is she'll be in there alone. Someone will be kind of watching.
And if she starts to freak out,
we'll just send her to the ER.
And it's like, that's unacceptable.
And I'm like, I'm living through this whole thing.
It's been an absolute fucking nightmare.
I can't sleep without obsessing about it.
I can't.
I have no waking hours between waking up and falling asleep. I'm not obsessing about it i can't i have no waking hours between
like waking up and falling asleep i'm not obsessing about it i'm worried i've never been
like worried sick before in the way that like there are times i feel like i could fucking vomit
i'm so like on an edge of like crying uh so but hopefully we can get her in sooner that that other
the good neurosurgeon
who we have a connection with was like trying to pull strings at these clinics and these doctors
trying to get her in sooner because even though the original guy was like oh just wait until
fucking october november like whatever it would have been would have been forever like this other
surgeon guy is like no what the hell was that guy thinking this is this needs to be done now
like this needs to be done yesterday a gauge on if it's growing if it's the bleeding did like do we know how this is expected to progress we really
don't we really don't because your doctor sucks yeah because they gotta see the new one together
and so we need to get into this new person or team as soon as fucking possible and so that's
been like the last week and a half almost two weeks of trying
to do that and it's like like i'm not sleeping i'm i'm still eating but uh i'm not getting nearly
as much done as i should for my offline job and my work like i just it's yeah it's hard to man
yeah it's been it's been fucking americans fight so hard against change because they're so scared of
it. And it's like and it's like I've I've never received a hospital bill ever. And I have two
kids. And it's like, you know, knock on wood. But it's like, you know, it's it's if you need to see
a specialist up here, you know, your doctor recommends one. And depending on the urgency,
it might take a little while or it will be immediate depending on the urgency, it might take a little while, or it
will be immediate, depending on the urgency.
And the thing about doctors up
here is that you have to be really good
to be a doctor, because it's really
hard to get into medical school.
Meanwhile, in America,
this could cost,
in the US, this could cost the same as a house.
Yeah, easily.
People get $20,000 bills
when they have children, right?
It's fucking brutal, man.
How can I get VinWiki
to advocate on my behalf?
Don't you just want that fucker to come in and
negotiate? He'll get you to the doctor's office
tomorrow somehow. Yeah, he might
be able to help.
Anyone he's offered.
A good house.
But yeah, man, I'm praying for you brother because that's rough i appreciate it thank you it's it's i it like i said i
well i mean the only problem i have up here that i can't get you know um weapons with uh suppressors
on them but i mean like overall it's like i don't you know when i lived in new york i i had a firearm
legally because you know in certain areas someone might break into your house right but you don't
that doesn't happen up here we don't have home invasions we don't have the crime rate like that
like i said if there's a home invasion that happens it's usually someone who knows someone personally who knows they have something in their house, like drugs or something.
Right. So it's like there's never been a case.
There's been very few cases of people having to break in and defend themselves, which I can do.
But it's like, you know, the peace of mind.
It's, you know, if someone makes a lot more taxes, do I pay more in taxes?
Yes.
Right.
It's like, but at the same time, we don't, you know,
there's hardly barely a homeless problem here.
But if someone breaks in your house and beats you up,
you can go to the hospital and they will take care of you.
There's a part in your story where I got a little lost.
Is your cousin's friend the one you're trying to see,
or is he arranging for you to see a friend the one you're trying to see or is he
arranging for you to see he's trying to arrange it that guy specifically the friend of my cousin
is not like the neurosurgeons have a ton of different specialties and his specialty is
something different it's not uh tumors in the spinal cord and like looking around online like
trying to find like who the fuck does like
good operations with this who has a good track record like the the one bad sign the hospital
that we that her insurance covered that word wasn't even on their website like the word of
what she had oh my god has isn't even on their website and so we're like there's a zero percent
chance did you forget it or are we not saying it? No, no. It's some long medical word.
I've had so much medical stuff in my head.
I can't keep it straight.
There's so many.
This is how I learn anatomy.
Injuries, sickness.
Hospitals should not be in business for profit.
Exactly.
It's fucked up.
Even when you guys pay for insulin or EpiPens down there, it's insane.
You're the only ones in the world who pay that much for that stuff. Yeah. When you guys pay for like insulin or EpiPens up down there is insane. Like no,
you're the only ones in the world who paid that much for that stuff.
Yeah.
And people will die if they're a quarter of the price here. And most of it's free here.
And it's like,
then people are like,
Oh yeah,
but we're free.
I was like,
dude,
you're freaking corporations are running all that shit.
Yeah.
You're like,
you're like one medical thing away from potential bankruptcy.
It's scary. It's like, Oh my gosh my gosh and i feel not me let him die i gotta work around reading from kyle's book
fuck them all but i i i man it's i like i said it's, I, like I said, it's,
if it wasn't for the winters, like I, I, I don't know.
I'd go over to LA or something like that, but it's like, I, uh, I, I,
it's, it's a scary thing, especially when it's a loved one, brother.
I don't know.
Absolutely. It's, it is rough. It's been rough.
Sorry everyone. If I wasn't very good tonight.
No, it's all good.
It's not in a funny mood.
I wasn't going to say anything.
You've been kind of dog shit all night because you're unbelievably anxious.
If you have any questions about Canada, let me know and I'll do it.
Like I said, it's funny because I have a residency in the state still and i have businesses in new york and stuff and and i you know i it's i see what my employees go through
in the states and my and my tenants because i have a couple of apartments there and i see my
tenants go through when it comes to stuff especially during covid how you guys were only getting like
like getting so few money that's not even english how you know they're the
people are being getting such little compensation for any help financially from the government
and up here like we're getting a good amount of money you know what i mean and it's like
like people oh i want less government interference and stuff like that. But it's, you know, people don't know what socialism is.
And people get confused with communism and socialism.
And they say, oh, we're really free here.
And it's like education is a thing, people.
Like it's just because you think Canada is socialist, we're the same as the U.K. and Germany.
And Sweden has free universities you know what i
mean and like us has the most expensive universities in the world like why is that people got to
question the system well i mean you want we don't have enough protectionism what like you want like
the or i guess interventionism would be the word like you do want like for the hospital system like
the government should be getting involved being like you cannot charge this you cannot charge that that's illegal if you do that that's a crime and
the board of your company will go to jail that'll never happen the lobbyists control those guys man
and it's like yeah big pharma is unbelievably powerful and they make a shit ton of money
like in canada big pharma is not allowed to advertise like you see if you're watching news
and states and stuff,
you see the drugs advertised and all the side effects,
maybe this and this and this.
You can't advertise drugs in Canada because you're not allowed.
And you can't, like all the politicians.
Well, I kind of like that we can advertise drugs because, I mean,
everyone just needs to know about Blue Chew and all the wonderful things.
Oh, yeah. i changed my mind
you know and uh they hook you right up very true much needed i might try some one time um i i
strongly recommend you try some it not only is it good for your blood pressure and helps you get a
great pump in the gym but you know just make your penis so goddamn hard it hurts. Yeah, I don't know if I want it. Oh, you want it.
You meant that it hurts her.
Nobody's
leaving without feeling some pain, I promise.
Back into OnlyFans again.
I take a lot of
flu to you.
Damn, okay.
Whatever you're doing, can't complain. Thank you, Woody.
It's
no fun.
Sorry to be such a downer. I've just, I've been
mowing over that. Let me try harder next time.
Like, maybe like
a little pep in your step.
God damn it.
I'm over here getting teary-eyed.
You just take your bad news and put it in the past, Taylor.
What's wrong with you?
Just bury it down deep.
Just bury it down deep.
I'm so fucking stressed out now.
Taylor's stressed out because his ex-girlfriend's sick.
Jesus Christ.
Yeah, man.
What a jerk I am.
Goodness gracious.
No fun, man.
No fun.
It gets really real when it's someone that close to you.
Well, you need to join me on the field sometime again. No fun, man. No fun. It gets really real when it's someone that close to you.
Well, you need to join me on the field sometime again.
You have no idea how much it is releasing that
pain and just letting all the
stress out. I've been drawing some
child in their head. Some of us collect the
pain during paintball.
I have been lifting
so fucking hard
the past couple weeks because
I need to do something
like i can't just yeah like lifting we all lift actually right now uh but like even more so like
i've been spending extra time in there because it's like i need something fucking positive to
to put attention on i can't just like be like like every like i have like bad dreams about it
it's getting the point like i wake up in the morning and there's like a split second
where it's like, oh, that was a dream.
No, this is real life.
Like this is something you're dealing with right now.
And it's, so I needed something and lifting has been very good for me.
Ironically enough, like my diet's been very, very good.
I know I made a joke.
I was still eating.
My diet's been great.
My lifting's been great.
And it's like, I think a lot of it is just like a mentality that I'm trying to force myself to have of like, you need to be fixated on positive things and so much as you can right now.
So it's not just a deluge of, you know, worry.
If you work out hard enough and eat right, you'll cure her.
With a little chicken and Brussels sprouts.
Have you ever tried meditation?
I have.
Yeah.
Didn't work out?
No, I liked it.
Okay.
Yeah, I should do that more.
I do it every day and it's done wonders for me, but it depends on the person.
It depends on how you learn it and whether you're doing transcendental or what have you.
Everyone has a different experience.
I don't do it like that in depth.
It's more of a thing where I don't do it like that in depth. Like it's more of a thing where like,
I don't do it as much as I should,
but like when I wake up,
like I make a mental note or if I'm feeling like down about something,
I'll like go through a list in my head of like all the stuff I'm grateful for,
all the things that I'm blessed with and fortunate to have.
And like that,
that really helps clarify and put things in perspective sometimes.
And then other times it doesn't at all.
Like I haven't been doing that recently.
I probably should.
Yeah.
Just, just hoping for a good outcome to all this.
Do it instead of warmup, maybe.
Instead of warming up.
Immediately pop my shoulder.
I know it's the dumbest question to ask.
What are you benching lately? I just want
to know. I haven't done flat bench.
I hit over 300 on flat bench
last time I was doing that. That was many months ago.
My incline bench,
I've been hanging out around
like 180 for a while.
I didn't expect the difference.
Damn, bro. Okay. Wow.
Incline bench is just over half a flat.
Yeah, it's normal-ish.
It's way...
When you look at the incline,
the first time I ever incline benched,
people were like,
it's way less weight than you can do.
And I was like, oh, come on, a little bit of lean?
That's going to make that much of a difference?
Yes.
That's what I do as well.
It's three times as hard.
Like 180, 185.
Do you know what your
flat is kyle i don't know my max is no i work out with like 225 or something like that that's my
goal i uh for people don't know 225 is two plates on either side and 245 plates on either side and
it looks cool that to me is like where where good is. I work out with 190.
So I think that's a 25 and a 45 on either side.
Maybe.
No, that's 185.
Anyway, it's not where I want to be.
I'm back at my high.
This is like as high as much as I've lifted lately.
But it's not at my goal.
After I hit like the over 300 benching a couple times i was like all right i'm
over it uh i'm just gonna go back to a much lower weight and higher reps because i don't want to
destroy my show like kyle you're doing 225 already you know you got the four plates
kyle has been a million percent right i throughout the the fitness thing like he changed my mind on
a lot of things i'm like for many months now i've been doing like the the lower weight higher reps hypertrophy training
like going for when i do three by 12 or three by 15 depending on so like uh incline bench i do three
by 12 tricep push down i do three by 15 uh chest pec deck i do three by 15 i used to do three by 15, uh, chest pack deck. I do three by 15. I used to do three by 12 of that,
but I want to push it on pack deck.
You do that.
I throw shitty.
I get through my whole workout on push day.
I get through everything. And then I usually add an extra pack deck thing at the end because like
nothing makes like the activation feeling quite as much as that.
And I really like it.
It makes me feel,
cause sometimes like you can,
you can incline bench with perfect form and be like,
did I hit my chest
enough? Really? I feel like I was getting a little
too much tricep action in there.
You've got to flex your titties when you're getting that thing up.
Honestly, it helps me to look at them.
It helps me to look at my pec
when I'm doing chest exercise and be like,
do it, you little bitch.
When I'm doing pec tech, I'm head
down looking at my pecks.
Yeah. And just like...
My mirrors are good, bro. They get so
fucking sore. That's the
one thing I can make get sore, because I'll put
275 on the peck deck and go four
sets of 15. And that last
set, I'm just like...
That's the exact weight
I do on my peck deck. That is that is bizarre i mean we're about the same size
roughly uh i got a i got a whole bunch of gabagool and nonsense
i mean i mean we get that gabagool gone in like 60 to 90 days and you could be lean as a
fucking you could be dick skin tight. Yeah, I'm aiming that.
I'm trimming down now. I don't know how much weight I've lost
because I haven't weighed myself, but I can tell
I've lost a decent little chunk.
Good for you.
Are you meal prepping
or just regular?
You said you were...
You don't use chronometer. What do you use?
I use MyFitnessPal.
I don't prep the meals or anything,
but like I have a food scale.
So I,
I,
I weigh everything.
I,
we did,
uh,
we did like burgers the other night.
It was just last night.
My wife made some,
some burgers with like the 97,
three,
uh,
ground bison or whatever.
And then these like keto buns that are 70 calories 10 grams of protein and
i mean it's not the same as a real good bun but it's better than you would think and then like
we were eating those and they were like cooked perfectly everything was good and my wife's like
something something's like not quite right with these and i'm like that's the 97.3 like what
would taste right is if we had a nice 80 20 here and we're like you know 85 15
whatever it is but i did see i saw one of those tubes you were talking about at the grocery store
yesterday kyle it was it was 70 30 which is and what we're talking about of course is the uh the
lean to fat ratio in the ground beef and you know 97.3 it's it's not what
i want in my beef but it's good it's been before that's what i find with all my diet like swaps
you know is stevia as good as sugar no but it's good enough is almond milk as good as milk no but
it's good enough and like every one of these changes i make is is just a small sacrifice for some big wins yeah yeah i've gotten over like the the
the ground beef thing is the thing that i that's the easiest to me because like i don't make
burgers because you gotta add the bread ends but but like i usually do like a like a like a just a
big bowl it's just like ground beef and rice and peppers and spinach and i'll like pour some salsa in there sometimes so it's got like a little bit of a tomato base
but salsa is like zero calorie anyway yeah sometimes i'll dice up some jalapenos in there
or something like that and uh i i love that shit like like when i was eating two pounds of fucking
beef a day that was the only way to fucking do it. Like, like I would, I would just make gigantic, a gigantic bowl of it with like four meals of ingredients,
which was,
which is two pounds of beef plus like all the rice and everything else.
And then I would literally just draw lines in the,
in the pan with a spatula and like section it all off.
And like,
this is,
this is now,
this is next meal.
This is the next meal.
And this is the next meal after that.
You guys are making me hungry and I can't eat this late at night i gotta bloody i uh i like
this i don't have any groceries right now so i had to order some food but i used postmates
link down below to order uh a steak and uh rice and broccoli from uh from applebee's so i'm about
to get into that in just a few nice i'm am fucking hungry. What time is it there? It's almost 11 p.m. I was going to say, you got stuff from Applebee's?
Yeah, Applebee's is open late. That's their slogan, right? They're open
at 1 a.m. or something like that. Seriously? Yeah.
Sometimes I'll fuck up my eating schedule. Maybe my sleep schedule can be weird.
I'll always get my 8 or 10 hours, but it's questionable exactly when
that's going to occur.
So sometimes I wake up like this time of day and I'm like,
fuck,
what am I going to eat?
And I don't know.
My Walmart isn't a 24 hour Walmart back in the day.
I'd be like,
all right, we're making the drive to Walmart,
but that's makes us the go-to for stuff like that.
I want it to be tomorrow.
You want it to be tomorrow so you can hit it and get some more calories in.
There's that.
There's two parts of it. If I to bed now nice calorie deficit two i start my moto
trip i'm going to this 2 000 mile motorcycle trip it's called the mid-atlantic back road
discovery routes basically dirt roads from virginia to new york and uh i'm pretty excited
about it it's me like four other guys going one guy the one guy i don't know
he brings a dog with him he's got a dog on the gas tank that's how he goes okay that i i was i
was reading his posts online he said one time he had an accident the dog jumped ship it's fine
every he jumped ship they all just abandoned the bike. Picked it up later, hopped back on, and they kept going.
And the dog wasn't spooked or anything. That's cool.
I'm not getting back on that thing.
Give me like
30 seconds and I can put together
a picture of this guy and his dog,
which I think is pretty awesome
because the dog wears goggles.
We were just talking about that earlier. Oh, they're actually called goggles?
Wait, they're called doggles?
Doggles.
Okay, doggles. I get it.
I just need to drop this picture
on the imager so Zach
can share it.
Anyway, yeah, yeah. So we're going on a 2,000
mile trip. I'm pretty excited about it.
Sleeping is like time travel.
I'm just going to pop some pills.
I'll wake up and it'll be trip time.
It'll be tripping all right.
All that melatonin.
Just be careful, brother.
That's all.
Melatonin, I'm talking about.
I use melatonin. That's about as soft as it gets
yeah i love it yeah yeah i take a good bit of it as well maybe i won't find this picture what's
wrong with me anyway so yeah i'm pretty psyched about it go another adventure and uh it's been
occupying my thoughts lately yes that's good. You need that in your life.
Don't you? You gotta do cool shit
every once in a while. Or you're a guy who doesn't
do cool shit.
That makes sense.
I'm hosting the biggest game
in Canada this weekend.
Awesome. Where is it? It's at a place
called Wasega Beach Paintball.
It's expecting about
1,000 people, hopefully, after its first
really big one after COVID
has mostly ended.
Nice.
It should be good to get
a two-day game, lots of pew-pews
involved,
and get some
good kills for the video.
Should be dope.
I'm going to be streaming tomorrow, starting at 5 p.m. I. I'm going to be streaming tomorrow
starting at 5 p.m. I think I'm going to stream
Friday, Saturday, Sunday.
I also ordered a badass gaming
laptop. I got one with an Asus
CPU, and
then I got a...
What do you call it? I think it's got a 3080 Ti
as well. Do you play with console people?
Or are you just strictly on PC?
Just on PC. What are you going to be playing? as well so you play with console people or you just uh strictly no okay uh just on pc what are
you going to be playing um i've been playing a few different things i've been playing some
vermin type which is like a hack and slash like game where you're murdering fucking rats and like
medieval times with magic and shit um and uh um i've been playing some like cash game poker
and uh we tried to play call of duty zombies last night,
but I was having some issues.
That's why I ordered the laptop.
So I can run the stream off of that.
Yeah.
That sucks.
Cause there's a new,
a call of duty battle for Verdansk or something like that coming out soon.
We're supposed to be like this special mission on war zone and like a,
a truck or plane crashes and everyone's going for that.
There's supposed to be previewing tomorrow
something like 1.30 or something like that.
That probably
would be the big thing happening.
I've been playing Apex lately with my son.
Yeah, that's a game.
That's the dude.
That's cool.
I don't know him yet, but he's coming with us.
I like the dog shield. That's cute.
That's very cool. Is he tethered to him i can't i couldn't see like pulling a dog on there i don't i just assumed the
dog was balancing the whole time but i'm not sure that'd be a little they should definitely have him
buckled in or yeah like that you're like uh i don't know if i if i were to do it i think i'd
have him on the back sitting in like a box or a bucket kind of contraption, right?
Where he's not necessarily chained to the bike in case shit goes wrong, but he is supported by the sides.
Like, that's how I would handle it.
Like, it would be tiring to balance on there for hours.
You know what I mean?
I hear you, but he's done it and we haven't, so I'm
guessing
we need to tell him how to do it right.
Good point.
Good point.
Of course, I have
a big-ass husky, so she's
not balancing on anything like that.
Yeah, my dogs aren't getting that done either.
No. They need side
cars. Yes, they do.
They need side cars. They steal my they do. They need sidecars.
They steal my goddamn potatoes.
I love that he came in
and ate your potato.
That was so cool.
You were like,
I ate that potato.
You reacted like you were
planning on eating
the rest of that potato later.
You're like looking at it like,
all right, I got that
in the back pocket.
We'll go to that potato
if you get a little hungry.
I don't know.
Could you like reheat a potato
and eat it later
or is it crappy?
Yeah, sure. You can heat it up. potato and eat it later is it crappy you can
heat it up yeah well that would have been the plan i just imagined like for that dog he was just like
like it was popcorn like when we were talking about that time about how wings
eats uh those banquet meals how he eats like a dog how it's just choo-choo swallow choo-choo swallow it's fucking gone must be great on dates well yeah you
know i gotta get to the end of the date yeah my cat brought a mouse to me my bed last night that
was fun oh big ass squeaker bleeding all over my sheets gross was. Was it alive? Yeah, barely. She was so proud of herself.
Cats are monsters.
Cats are frigging little
serial killers, man.
I've never met a good cat.
No one has.
You've met liars, though.
I saw a Reddit post today
and it was like
a picture of this lady's
like old ass cat.
It was like
Tom lost his fight to a raccoon tonight.
Poor guy was too old to defend himself.
And I was thinking,
he probably started the fight.
Raccoon was acting in self-defense.
Yeah, I guarantee that raccoon
was acting in self-defense.
It was like a Trayvon Martin situation.
The cat was like,
hey, what are you doing in this neighborhood?
Huh?
What are you doing around here?
The raccoon has turned around and is just laying a real ass whooping down on the cat.
I love that story.
It was a racist cat.
It was a racist cat.
A specious cat.
Raccoons are just cooler cats. We should have chosen them. We should have... I think how much cooler it would be if the Egyptians picked raccoons are just cooler cats we should have chosen them we should
think how much cooler would be if the egyptians picked raccoons well they would need them there
first but yeah if they worship those if they saw raccoons they would have said fuck you cats we're
not worshiping you like this is clearly some sort of half person half animal deity like they're so
cool that's my that's my pick for exotic pet, hands down.
Raccoons?
They have hands. They have those little
thumbs. They can do stuff.
You know who else keeps raccoons in their pick
for exotic pets?
My clown friend.
Well, I mean, broken insane clock
is right twice a day.
Woody has a clown
friend. He's an adult who dresses as a... I'm not a clown guy. He's an adult.
I'm not a clown guy.
That just sounds effed up.
He's an adult who identifies as a fucking weirdo.
And he routinely dresses as a scary clown.
And he drives an ambulance that he has converted into some sort of scary bang bus.
And his job, his hobby in life is
apparently just to weird people
the fuck out.
What does he do for money?
He makes what he needs.
His primary job is installing
floors, but his clown business is
profitable. It's like a side gig.
Yeah, he gets to keep all the wallets
and purses after he's done with his victim.
Of course it's profitable profitable he's probably selling their fucking gold fillings and shit that's so goddamn creepy i don't even want to
be in the same room with that we have a picture of what he's scary ass clown friend because i feel
like i need to some people like look at kyle making fun of that that guy who's clearly just
one of those happy clowns that wants to bring fun and happiness
into children's lives. He probably does birthday
parties for little make-a-wish kids.
No, this is that scary fucking clown
out of a Rob Zombie movie.
Nobody's paying him to do it.
Pennywise, if Pennywise
was giving him tips, he'd be like, there needs to be
some subtlety to your evil.
You can't go
full evil. Be kind of evil. You can't go full evil.
Be kind of evil.
You've got to try and hide it a little bit.
Jesus, that doesn't sound...
I'm not a huge clown guy, so that's not even...
No, I don't like clowns either. Nobody likes clowns.
Nobody likes clowns.
Nobody likes them.
We have a game at Paintball Explosion
called Clowns vs. Zombies,
and I play as a zombie team every time
because i'm not uh playing with no clowns because you want to kill the clowns all day i'd rather be
team zombie also that would be no that is not his outfit please tell me that's not his outfit
yes it is this is right after he got kicked from the insane clown bossy. The brass knuckles on the tattoo, that's real.
I think he doesn't shave his beard like that anymore, but
that was his beard every day
for a while. That guy has someone in his
hair right now.
He's a super nice guy.
It's just scary.
And a pretty cool clown.
A pretty cool clown.
Because he's afraid of this man.
This is exactly how a beaten spouse sounds.
He's a nice guy.
Rachel, your nose is broken as you say those words.
What's the syndrome called?
You don't know him like I know him.
Stockholm Syndrome.
He's so funny
sometimes when he's not beating me.
You don't see the clown
that I see.
He says, hurry after him, bring me flowers.
What he showed me is the guy's
wedding photos and the guy
didn't dress as a clown for his
wedding and I was shocked.
I was like, this is your day.
How's the wife look?
Lovely lady.
Don't do this. She's lovely.
Okay. I'm just checking, man.
I just, you know,
he must have a nice personality, as you said.
Lovely lady.
I don't know.
That gentleman frightens me, though,
and it should be illegal to do what he does.
Look, if somebody was going around wearing blackface we'd be like whoa come on dude what are you doing but this guy can just walk around dressed like that and nobody can say
anything that's true it's the same thing i'm so much more offended by what he's doing. Nobody sees someone in blackface and is like, I'm afraid.
I guarantee if you pulled like a hundred black men and you were like,
all right, we're going to outlaw one of two things.
It's either this gentleman.
Then they show Justin Trudeau, of course,
and what he's doing or this man.
I've seen those videos on youtube of like when the people like
run around and like dress as a clown and try to freak black people out and those and nine times
out of ten black people have one of two reactions they're either terrified or immediately go violent
yeah like it's it's there's no in between and sometimes it's both which i love they're like
wait a minute you're just a man and then they
just jump him and beat the shit out of him i love i saw one where they ran the guy down in a honda
just fucking hit him just fucking hit him and i'm laughing anytime you're near a clown
that's self-defense clowns what's wrong they're just trying to make you happy he's not trying to
make anybody happy that guy's fucking weird look He looks sinister. Sinister is the word. He's doing
a Halloween clown thing.
Have you ever seen a Halloween clown?
Jesus Christ. I don't know when that
picture was taken. That was April.
Yes.
Getting ready
for the Labor Day. That was the July 4th
weekend. There is no excuse.
Halloween is like his busy season.
No shit?
No. I thought he was a big bar mitzvah guy. There is no excuse. Halloween is like his busy season. No shit?
Oh, I thought he was a big bar mitzvah guy.
Christmas is busy too.
I don't know why.
Christmas?
This guy's going to come if you're not good.
That's Krampus right there.
Jesus.
He is. Krampus vibes. Krampus, whatever it is. He is. He's very much Krampus vibes.
Krampus, whatever it is.
Man, therapy.
That's all I'm saying.
Goodness gracious.
Clowns are awful.
They're not fun loving.
They're not.
They know that more people are terrified of them than are enjoy.
No one has seen a clown and had any mirth in their heart since like 1890.
I don't know if that's true because you said mirth.
I was using a word similar to what they would have said at the time.
Not even rodeo clowns wear clown makeup anymore because it scares the bulls.
Like, seriously.
Yeah, and at least rodeo clowns have a purpose.
They're to keep
the the bull rider from being killed yeah they might wear a red nose that's it they're not going
to wear the makeup and stuff anymore it's yeah and that's fair they could dress silly in any way
because you're cheering for the bull at that point right so yeah i would i cheer for the bull in like
the the ones where they try and stab the bull.
Bull fights, you mean?
Yeah, bull fights.
That's evil.
But just the regular bull riding, I don't want to see some guy get his head caved in.
And it happens every 25 minutes.
That was a real man's sport right there.
So, Woody, you saw that they did the thing with wings where they made him seem to be a journalist who had passed away in afghanistan right yes yes um someone linked me to a bunch of these today these
are apparently the yelp reviews from the conway wendy's would you like to hear jesus christ sure
yes excellent service however i and my family couldn't help but notice the 450 pound mounds
450 pound man screaming and flailing his arms around,
going on and on about how a Wendy's isn't supposed to run out of chili and how his name was not Richard.
We decided to seek safety in the restroom, but the big meaty mongrel barreled into the bathroom with us
and started screaming at the top of his lungs about how this one's coming out sideways.
and started screaming at the top of his lungs about how this one's coming out sideways.
All in all,
a wonderful dining experience
with a nice touch of added danger and risk
from the Richard
who always seems to be hanging around.
Big ups.
Big ups.
How many stars?
That's four stars.
Here's a five-star review.
They were out of chili and the Pepsi machine was down. However,
otherwise, I had a great experience.
Had me a four-for-four and sat
down with a nice man that the locals there
called the Conway Conman. He drove
a 2019 Ford Raptor and pulled his wife
around. Okay.
We don't need to be mean.
I didn't know they got mean. I'm trying to have
a good time in here.
Give me the cold notes of what happened
to Wings. Did he go crazy
or something?
He just has a rabid fan base.
He's known for eating Wendy's chili
and drinking Pepsi.
Is he still doing the interview?
Oh, he lost his Twitch streaming
partnership. Has anything changed?
Is he on YouTube?
He's streaming on youtube now okay
they never have any chili they never have any pepsi there is always a v6 mustang double parked
poorly i might add i see this man in there named richard and his they were yelling at the staff
and calling them trolls over a door dash order i believe the couple ate it honestly oh wow that's crazy
i was enjoying a meal with my family when a large grotesque man stumbled into the store he had
numerous stains on his shirt which advertised richard's vacuum parts with all of this given
the man attempted to sell vacuum parts for banquet meals and chili eventually when his
unprofessional way of doing business didn't succeed he stormed out of the store proclaiming see y'all and ban world otherwise
the service was good four stars there's a lot of these um it like he has single-handedly made it so
that the um the wendy's and conway south carolina has probably the highest ratings of any Wendy's on the planet.
I noticed there are a lot of four stars that are handing out fives.
Having said that, for Wendy's, that's good.
No, they're enjoying their experience there.
I think he lightens the mood for everyone.
Wings is just way more famous than his numbers let on.
I mean, I've introduced so many people to him alone like like every time i have like a friend or somebody over i'm like do you know about wings of redemption and they're
like what the fuck is that and i'm like oh buckle up we're gonna be we're gonna be at this for a
while and uh you know i go through the whole catalog we watch the fps boot camp we watch uh
we watch uh rock bottom we uh we we
play a little bit of the the the songs you know all those songs that uh that are on spotify i
listen to some of the songs spotify the challenge songs no there's like people took hit things he
had said and songified them into some raps that are actually pretty fucking good okay like you
can legit listen to them and be like,
alright, it's not bad.
It's actually not bad. It's not good,
but it's not bad.
Wasn't there a dance challenge going on at some point?
Nah, I wouldn't
remember anything about that.
And, you know,
Wings has done a little back and forth.
Yeah,
yeah, and up and down.
That's crazy.
But yeah.
I think he's...
He had that bariatric surgery...
What has it been? Three years now?
I would have guessed three also.
It didn't take?
No, it didn't take.
It took for a bit.
He beat it. He beat the surgery.
That's not a good thing, I don't think.
No, it's not.
No, it's not.
That's the joke.
Yeah.
Pretty wild.
Anyway, that's probably a wrap there.
I know Taylor wants to get back to family and such.
Thank you.
We really do appreciate you coming on.
Oh, thank you.
Thank you.
We don't need to wait so long next time.
I'm definitely glad you were able to make it on such short notice.
We really do appreciate it.
I'm here any time for you.
Next time we'll get into the BDSM clubs.
Hell yeah.
Sounds good.
Hell yeah.
All right.
PKA.
Oh, wait, wait, wait.
Wolf, is there anything you want to pimp, tell people about?
Hey, please.
Wolf Paintball on YouTube.
It's the black guy playing paintball.
For some reason, I lost a whole bunch
of, I think it was a gun thing,
but I lost a whole bunch of subs.
Feel free to come over,
subscribe to Wolf Paintball, and we're giving away
an action camera on there
in the next few days.
I mentioned you saw me on PKA,
and I'll throw in a little something extra
in your prize.
PKA?