Painkiller Already - PKA 563 w GoodBadFlicks Kyle's Drug Test, Movie talk, Reddit Admin Drama

Episode Date: March 30, 2021

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Starting point is 00:00:00 pink you already episode 536 with our guest cecil from good bad flicks taylor this episode of pka is brought to you by blue chew and smart mouth a couple of wonderful sponsors we'll hear more about them later kyle was ecstatic when chiz announced we were gonna have cecil on because he's like really i've seen and i'm not exaggerating here literally every single one of his videos and so you've got a million questions to I'm a huge fan. I love your channel so much. Like, like just the intro, the good, bad flicks. Like when I hear that, like I have an emotional reaction to it because it has been there for me through so many ups and downs in my life. Like, like when I, whenever I was like, I got a little legal trouble a couple of years ago and like, I just sat down and watched 15 hours or something of your videos or something like that.
Starting point is 00:00:50 Just drunk as fuck. Just, just like, at least I have this, you know? And, and I, so I, I love every, every one of those videos. I really like what you do. I really like what you do. You jump in here at any time, but it seems to me that you like, you find like some hidden gems,
Starting point is 00:01:10 these good, bad flicks, you know, these movies that maybe didn't get the appreciation they deserved. Maybe they were a little before their time or, or whatever. But, but there's a little something there to be, to be enjoyed.
Starting point is 00:01:23 And a lot of them I'm like, yeah, yeah, I remember that. Why did no one else like that movie? And I, and I, I love it. but but there's a little something there to be uh to be enjoyed and a lot of them i'm like yeah yeah i remember that why did no one else like that movie and i and i i love it i love it thank you man yeah that was really what i kind of intended to do like originally when i started um it was right around uh like late 2009 yeah late 2009 when everybody was into the whole review-averse thing, where it was take whatever popular movie and just crap all over it. And that was the popular thing to do. And I was talking to some friends of mine, who I have friends all over the country. And I was like, hey, if I started doing a video series where I talked about movies that I liked. Would you guys be interested?
Starting point is 00:02:05 And they were like, yeah. So I started putting them together and I am kind of meticulous when it comes to like my the way that I do things. So I originally wanted to have my video out. My first video was going to be out in December and it was going to be a Christmas movie. It was like don be a Christmas movie. It was like, don't open till Christmas. And because of the fact that I couldn't decide what to name the channel, what, you know, all the different details of it. I didn't I ended up not getting that video out until March.
Starting point is 00:02:53 So everybody who has seen the first video, they're like, wait, why was your first video a Christmas movie that came out in March? And I'm like, well, I kind of, I'm a little slow going with some things. I really like to kind of make sure that it. I've had so many people that ask me, you know, oh, why don't you do a video on, like, the room? And I'm like, well, there's nothing really I can bring to the table that hasn't already been said. But a video for something like Species, I was able to kind of not necessarily uncover, but there was the whole angle with that, with the H.R. Giger skull train, the nightmare train that he had and everything
Starting point is 00:03:27 that i had seen like nobody was really ever talking about how much the studio screwed him over on that so i was like well there's a really good angle to throw in there and that's kind of the thing that i do whenever i look at certain movies to cover i always want to see if there's something else that i can bring something, something that will keep people engaged and interested and not just tell me, oh, I've heard that a million times. I'm not an H.R. Giger expert or anything. I'm certainly aware of the work that he did for Alien, you know, designing the creature, the sort of biomechanical fetish that he seems to have as a designer. biomechanical fetish that he seems to have as a designer. Um, but the, uh, the, and I would describe it as a fetish because a lot of his, I don't know what he is. I would describe it as artwork. Uh, I would describe him as an artist. Uh, but I don't know what he did before his work
Starting point is 00:04:19 started getting, uh, used as inspiration and designs for film. What's his background? He's an artist. He's a very unique artist. I mean, he delves into a lot of different things. He'll paint, he'll airbrush, he'll sculpt. As far as his background, I don't know too much of it beyond basically where he started with...
Starting point is 00:04:44 I mean, he's done stuff before the biomechanical thing but i think that was really kind of his landmark that was the thing where oh this is his style this is the thing that he does and that was really the thing that got him the most attention uh the thing with species that really was sad was that um he had designed so many things with sill with the alien version of sill where um every day he would draw something and fax it over because he was still um over in his home country while they were designing you know they were working on the film in in america because he didn't want to leave the side of his sick mother who she was dying at the time so um he was faxing them all these drawings and all this artwork and so many things like uh you can see in the video where um he had written on there do not copy alien do not copy ridley scott's
Starting point is 00:05:38 alien do not make this like alien and it seemed that the director took that as oh okay let's make this just like alien yeah so a lot of the things that they changed were to make it more like alien and it was kind of a shame i didn't like that that they went in that direction i i don't fault the the makers of that movie for steering a little bit away from giger's design because it's like okay you're you're a brilliant artist you have a unique way of doing things. Your mind is something special, but we're on a budget here. We're making something for general audiences. And you want to make some sort of a woman who glows a little brighter every time she mutates more and gets angrier. And by the end, she's just a glowing piece of metal that's bioluminescent
Starting point is 00:06:26 and semi-transparent and you want to see her baby growing inside of her while she's running around murdering people sounds expensive and what will the vagina look like sir i understand you have many sketches of the vagina we're saving money there's like like he like first of all i i love what giger does and anytime i i think you were right in your video that the studio really wanted his name attached just for like just so they could be like oh at hr geeker designed creature because like me as a viewer if i see that i'm like all right let's see what he fucking came up with this time but i wouldn't want to hang out with that guy that guy seems creepy i bet that guy is into some weird shit.
Starting point is 00:07:06 Oh, absolutely. His artwork is all this really like, it's like women, and it's almost all female, and it's almost all semi-sexualized, but it's also like this, they're like half women, half machine, half demon. And they're in like all sorts of weird positions.
Starting point is 00:07:29 And like, it's, it's some, it's really weird to, to look at. Um, and it's, it's beautiful. He's incredibly talented,
Starting point is 00:07:36 but, uh, but yeah, I, I, I don't fault him for not going right along with everything he came up with, but I didn't like that like the i mean the the poster for that movie for example like you pointed out it's like come on this is just a complete rip
Starting point is 00:07:51 off there's even like green glowing light on it come on yeah they they changed a lot of this stuff i mean i don't entirely blame them like you said there's a lot of ideas that he was throwing out there and they were pretty crazy so i don't fault them for trying to steer the ship away from that. But he had a lot of really cool ideas and things that would have definitely helped to set it apart. Like I love the movie too. I wouldn't have done a 40 minute video about it if I didn't love it. But I think that it would have kind of transcended just, oh, naked woman runs around killing people. And it might have been something a little bit special, maybe not on the level of the original alien, but I think it would have been something a little bit more special. And it would have been a little bit
Starting point is 00:08:35 more memorable if they would have listened to him and taken some of his ideas. Cause he did have some cool things where he was showing them and we're like, oh, we can't do that. And then he would do it and show and had them over to his house and be like, no, here's how we're going to do it. And you can do it practically, you know, you don't need to do the CG to do this. And they were like,
Starting point is 00:08:54 oh, but then they still didn't do it. So, uh, I, I don't entirely fault them. I mean, that's the whole thing with,
Starting point is 00:09:01 with production and with going back and forth with producers. Sometimes it's a good thing. Sometimes it's a bad thing with with production and with going back and forth with producers sometimes it's a good thing sometimes it's a bad thing for example george lucas wanted han solo to be a giant talking fish and the producers were like okay look we we said you could have a giant talking dog chewbacca but we're not going to have two we're not going to have a giant talking fish with a giant talking dog so like you have to have some humans in here. So then they ended up letting him make Han Solo be Harrison Ford and the rest is is geek history. So I think that's kind of along the lines of this. It's like you have to have a little bit of back and forth with the producers or you're either going to go too crazy or not crazy enough. Yes.
Starting point is 00:09:45 We always hear about the downsides of studio meddling and how, how it can ruin films. And I do, you see it a lot, but I'm sure there's been plenty of examples of studio meddling that like reigned in a director who was out of his fucking mind. And I think he doesn't know it right there. Like the idea of I'm picturing that movie,
Starting point is 00:10:02 like with Han Solo's voice coming out of a fish but he's got he's like a little bubbly every time he says something like like here's like some water bubbles or something and like like i i just don't i just don't think that works no it would have probably i don't know if it necessarily would have ruined the movie but i think that han solo would not be the beloved character that he is today. Sure. If, uh, if he was a giant fish. So yeah, there are a lot of stories where, uh,
Starting point is 00:10:30 I've, I've talked to a lot of people in the industry and I've been lucky enough to hear a lot of stories. Um, I've also been lucky enough to hear stories that they're like, okay, I'm going to tell you this. You can't put it in the video,
Starting point is 00:10:43 but I'm going to tell you this, you know, because, uh, a lot of people are still working in the industry and they're like, if you say this, they're going to know that it was me that told you, and it's going to hurt future jobs. And that's kind of a bummer. But so,
Starting point is 00:10:58 but it's cool that I have all this like insider information where this director was an asshole or this, this husband and wife couple were filming and they were just arguing and they basically got divorced while they were making the movie. Like that kind of thing. It's always funny to hear. And, uh, I, I do appreciate hearing that. And I like when I can just have a director or somebody who, uh, is out of the industry. Like I talked with a guy who he's been out of the industry for about 15 years and he's just like, Oh yeah,
Starting point is 00:11:26 I'm going to tell you all this dirt and I'm just going to crap all over everybody. And it's great because you're getting that unfiltered, um, like not, you know, not distanced Hollywood answer. You're getting like the real story as opposed to the story that you might
Starting point is 00:11:43 have heard. Are there any details you heard about someone who perhaps has now died and you can say it? Or are they all still living? You've got to keep it under wraps. As of currently, they're all alive. So I don't really have anything. I'm trying to think if there is something
Starting point is 00:12:01 I can throw out there. Not right now, but pretty much everybody is still alive. I have, I mean, one guy who it's, I'll tell you one thing. I'm working on a video on a Sound of Thunder, which was a monumental bomb but i had a feeling that the story behind it was really interesting so i had been trying and digging and that movie had like 12 producers and 11 of which did not want to talk about the movie and i finally found one guy who was you know he wanted to talk about it he wanted to tell the story. But the problem is he only produced all the way up to them filming. So he has an amazing story all the way up to the filming.
Starting point is 00:12:54 And then another company came in to finish it and he left. So I have to try to find somebody else to tell me all through the filming of it. If I can get the rest of that, it's going to be brilliant because the story behind that movie, as far as I know, no one has ever dug it up. And I have like half of the story. Oh God.
Starting point is 00:13:15 It's a, it is an absolute disaster. Um, I've never even heard of it. A sound of thunder. Sound of thunder. Yeah. It was a big,
Starting point is 00:13:24 big movie that, um, I mean, it was, big big movie that um i mean it was um ed uh what's his name um oh god the brothers mcmullen edward um there's a lot of people in it that you would recognize and oh god yeah it's it's absolute mess. They went, they were having major... At least they only got $80 million on it. Yeah, that's right. Yeah, there's a lot of stuff about how they just were doing the CGI for it and they had to redo the CGI for it
Starting point is 00:13:57 and the company was going bankrupt at the time and, oh, so many problems they had. What are your thoughts on CGI versus practical? I've said in a lot of videos before how much I hate CGI because not because I hate it as a whole. But I think that originally when it blew up with like the Abyss and with Jurassic Park and all that it was being used as another tool and now it it used to be just kind of the scalpel and now it's the hatchet it's where it's everything and it's frustrating because um you have a studio that will come along and they'll be like okay this movie is going to be out on and they announce the release date before they've even started filming so they do the movie and then they hand it off to the cgr
Starting point is 00:14:50 artists and then they're like okay um well you you know you've only got this much time to finish and they're like well we can't finish this in this much time and they're like well we don't care and they rush it and that's why so much um of it looks like garbage is because they'll rush it out the door. They won't get it finished. They'll send the footage to like 10 different studios. So that's why when you're watching a movie, some of the effects look really good and some of the other effects look really bad. It's because this studio had a year to work on it. And this other studio had like three months to work on this other scene.
Starting point is 00:15:27 work on it and this other studio had like three months to work on this other scene and it's this is a is a good example of of that scalpel you know like like oh yeah um i don't know was that ilm or somebody um the uh the the sort of the creature comes in and it's it's water it's it's it's not the actual creature it's like a it's like probe. But it's like water in the shape of like a tentacle at first. And then it forms the face of Mary Elizabeth. I can't pronounce her last name. Master Antonio. What an awful last name. They should change that for Hollywood.
Starting point is 00:15:58 She made it more complicated. She got married. And I believe it was Mary Elizabeth master Antonio Foxtrot. Jesus Christ. Yeah. There's like a 90 minute documentary about that movie that I love where they, they, they show the making of it and all the behind the scenes.
Starting point is 00:16:15 And it's absurd. They did all of that in a giant water tank. And like when Ed Harris is, uh, you see like the, the, the liquid going in his helmet i'm pretty sure they're just filling his helmet up with liquid he almost drowned like twice a little
Starting point is 00:16:31 lens in front of it you know like the sippy cups kids have with liquid they wanted the bubbles on his skin or something like that like and and then there's um there's uh the scene where uh mary elizabeth can't pronounce her name is like drowned and she's lying topless on the ground. And Ed Harris is like performing CPR and he's like, live, damn it, live.
Starting point is 00:16:54 And he's slapping her in the face, like full on slapping her. And, and it's, I remember like, there's a part where it was like, she just couldn't handle it after a while. And she just got up and ran out of the room crying.
Starting point is 00:17:07 And I'm like, yeah, you've got her naked on the floor with Ed Harris slapping the piss out of her left and right. It looks great on camera, but still it's like, God, we moved on. I hope they paid her well. From CGI without a break. But no one talks about Wolf of Wall Street. Have ever seen the before and after cgi on that movie i don't that's one i don't think i have so i think the the whole thing with with that actually
Starting point is 00:17:35 i have a buddy of mine who my buddy yoshi who uh he worked for ilm he worked on the last star wars movie uh i mean he's worked on a ton of different movies. And we've got into many discussions about CG where he's like, you don't know. He's like, because the thing with CG is when it's good, you have no idea. And that's the problem is that good CGI, you don't know. Bad CGI sticks out like a sore thumb. That's why so many people don't like it so he's i'm actually doing a video with him that's going to be out sometime hopefully over the summer where i'm talking about uh we're taking some of the worst cgi in the past few years
Starting point is 00:18:18 and dissecting them and pointing out well this is what they did wrong this was what happened and this is why it looks so bad are you going to go all the way back to The Hobbit to start that? Does that count as the last few years? No, we're doing like the Renesmee baby from the Twilight movies. We're doing what else are we doing? We're doing the
Starting point is 00:18:37 monkeys in Indiana Jones 4. Oh, those are awful. Oh, they're so bad. What else were we doing? I would suggest the remake of The Thing. The remake of The Thing, because that's such a really good example because what they did first was all practical, just like the original John Carpenter's version.
Starting point is 00:18:56 And then the studio looks at it and goes, let's paint over all your hard work with CGI. That's the ticket. And so that's what they did. So like, I would imagine that somewhere there's a version with quasi finished practical effects, like,
Starting point is 00:19:13 like, you know, like, like the tentacles and the heads with, with like spider legs and shit. And all of that. Effects are overrated as fuck. No,
Starting point is 00:19:22 they're so tired of CGI. are overrated as fuck no i'm so tired of cgi practical effects are always this bullshit of like models and puppets and fucking cotton spider webs everyone's like look how great this practical is dude it looks like a fucking puppet yoda looks like bullshit baby yoda is is sucks baby yoda should be cgi he clearly looks like a children's toy. It's ridiculously bad. Wolf of Wall Street on the other hand, you need to see the before and after pictures. Like that scene where they're playing tennis at the end of the
Starting point is 00:19:54 federal prison looks nothing like that. Now I'll grant you, it seems like unnecessary CGI. If you've watched it, this is what the marina looked like before and this is what the marina looked like in the movie. Nothing like each other. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:20:07 Like gremlins either different and about the same, but like gremlins, you know, gremlins is bullshit too. It's just a bunch of puppets bouncing around in microwaves. And like, it's like a children, like variety of making a movie, right? They just take shit from around the romper room and tear the little cotton guts out of it. And they're like, look at our fantastic practical effects. It's overrated. It's overrated.
Starting point is 00:20:32 And they say, oh, look at Mad Max. See, practical effects done right. Dude, if you watch the pre-CGI version of Mad Max, it is underwhelming, boring bullshit. And then they CGI it into something wonderful. And guys say, look. Look at this now this is what practical effects are, no, no
Starting point is 00:20:50 practical effects are like 10% of what you're liking there I disagree with the I feel like you're taking the absolute worst example like Gremlins or Baby Yoda when the real example should be all of the human sized actors in every film where like, Lord of the Rings and the hobbit are two excellent examples of it where the hobbit
Starting point is 00:21:08 your uncanny valley alarm is going off the entire time because the every single person on state on screen looks fake except for gandalf there's a breakdown of sir ian mckellen on the uh the set of the hobbit where he's like, this isn't acting! This isn't acting! This isn't why I got into acting! And it showed him on the set of The Hobbit and he has to pretend everything! He's just one guy standing there. Every single dwarf, every character, even the ones
Starting point is 00:21:38 that are portrayed by real actors are added later. So he's not even near anyone. It gets you worse performances out of really good actors like Serena McKellen. also like when you're comparing the practical effects of like lord of the rings they're building the armor even harry potter they're building the armor the outfits look really good you're not getting that tinge in your head of that's not real that's not real that's distracting like it's just better when they do it right it's just better i see like you know gremlins that was like supposed to be silly. It was supposed to be over the top and these little kind of puppet looking things.
Starting point is 00:22:09 In Lord of the Rings, when there are the massive scenes, you know, two towers, I don't know, Battle of Helm's Deep, for example. Is there not a bunch of CGI people rushing in? There is. Only top down. And see, I think that's a good use of it. And initially, Lord of the Rings was so early on that they had trouble with it because all the CGI people would run away, and so they only had real people run for it.
Starting point is 00:22:31 But they fixed that. But it was all top-down. You just see hordes of the men and elves running at Sauron's forces in the very beginning of Fellowship of the Ring. That's a great use of CGI because you just can't equip that many guys. Now you want to see a great use of practical effects watch uh the battle of pelenor fields where theoden and his men all up on the hill there with the horses hundreds of those guys are real and so it like the thunder like of the horses and everything the intensity at all or battle of the bastards right where so
Starting point is 00:23:01 many of those horses were real like you just there's something that you can't that's a terrible you didn't like battle the bastards oh my god it was great it was just like the same thing for 20 it was how many emmys did that went it was drawn out and it was uh confusing to follow and the plot armor you're hard to please no no i like lots of things i just don't like that i i john snow narrowly escaped what they shoot like 5 000 arrows in his general direction and they land all around him like he's that fucking dude on the spinning wheel with a circus that they throw knives at it was marvel movies marvel movies are not we've repaid them on a different scale i like marvel movies iron man deserved to live like i don't know like like back the practical effects thing like the void it's probably a movie you've never seen before
Starting point is 00:23:51 i've seen i love the void i think it's brilliant sam neat it's not sam neill is it no well no sam neill was um was prince of dark well not uh what do you call it mouth of madness mouth of madness yeah that's why i'm getting confused it's the connection there the void was the one that was more recent it was a couple years ago with the with the triangles and all the guys outside wearing the hoods and everything and a lot of practical effects monsters um like like tentacles and nasty nasty body horror stuff and nasty, nasty body horror stuff. It looks excellent. And it's low budget.
Starting point is 00:24:29 I love The Void for what it is. Like, it's, you know, like every movie isn't like on the same level. You know, when we recommend things sometimes, people are like, oh, well, this wasn't quite as good as Avengers Endgame. It's like, well, this movie cost $12 million. Avengers Endgame was a quarter of a billion dollars. And's the biggest movie ever ever ever made different different scales you have the best
Starting point is 00:24:51 budget of any tv show going on right now i'm not sure but it seems like it's going to be super high it's disney it's star wars it's it's it's pretty high it's pretty high i think it's maybe 10 or 15 an episode and baby Yoda looks ridiculous. I, I find baby Yoda to be very cute, endearing, and I don't ever go, I don't ever have an issue with the way he looks. Now I'll admit,
Starting point is 00:25:15 I don't think he looks like, like, like if you were to like put him on like a nature documentary, he wouldn't fit in with the penguins. I'd be like, Hey, wait a minute. That little green fucker doesn't look real.
Starting point is 00:25:25 Like, like I'd be like, Hey, wait a minute. That little green fucker doesn't look real. Like, like I admit that fully, but I think he looks fine for like a star Wars universe creature. Like, I think he looks just as real as that frog woman who was carrying her eggs, you know, in that one episode or, uh,
Starting point is 00:25:37 or the devil man, you know, with the horns that was hanging out with bill Burr. You know, I don't look at the devil man and go, his horns aren't real. I did have a problem with, who was the Jedi that had that?
Starting point is 00:25:51 They're not horns. Yeah, it's like, we had that discussion, whether it's hair or tentacles. It's either hair or tentacles. I'm not exactly sure what's going on. What it is, is about 99 cents worth of foam. And I can't tell what they're even going for.
Starting point is 00:26:06 CGI it. Make it suck less. You saw Clone Wars. I did, but it's been a while. Oh, okay. Well, you know, she looks perfect. As far as like if you're trying to draw from Clone Wars. I see the creases in the foam.
Starting point is 00:26:18 Like it is clearly made of 99 cents worth. It looks terrible. They should CGI it. Spider-Man's costume looks amazing. You don't even know it's not real. It's incredible. And it's more than you can even do in real life. You know,
Starting point is 00:26:31 you can't get Spider-Man to blink and use eye based facial expressions via costume. That has to be CGI. And then we've got this woman and I'm like, what is this hat? It was an arts and crafts day at school. And they just fucking stuck it in the mandalorian it's awful all right we spent 14,999,999 and we forgot about
Starting point is 00:26:54 the lady with the hair I thought it looked okay I saw the crease you're talking about and I was like come on why is there a crease in her hair tentacle thing i'll admit that i'm sorry my here no you got a little my son my son dropped in yeah say hi hey there little buddy go to bed go to bed bud i love you so yeah i look when when practical effects are done poorly though it's not as bad as when CGI is done poorly. Like when CGI is bad and you're watching like it looks like the cut scene from an Xbox OG game, you know, when you're just like, when is this going to be over? Like in the movie Species that we were talking about to begin with, everything looks pretty good. You know, there's a lot of practical effects where like um you know there's like spikes bursting out of her back and she comes out of a cocoon at one point they do it
Starting point is 00:27:50 all for real in camera with you know lots of um um sex lube and trash bags and stuff and like it looks like a person coming out of a fucking cocoon you're not you know there's not a real person coming out of a cocoon but it looks like. But then there's a part where like the full CGI alien is now like widescreen flat right there. She is. And she's jumping around like Spider-Man or something in a cave. And it's like, this looks like shit. Is this the movie cocoon we're talking about? This is species.
Starting point is 00:28:21 This is species. The alien movie aliens. oh 95 i was gonna say 96 i was gonna say i i suspected that i will say the practical effects that are underwhelming don't tend to look super bad 15 years later cgi stuff that i thought was good 15 years later i'm like oh my gosh this is terrible i you know like it looked better that's good upon first viewing yeah that's a good point because like even i think the cg i think the best cgi we have an example of right now as far as like full-blown everything cgi is is endgame right from marvel it looks like you know they spent like 300 million dollars or
Starting point is 00:29:01 something they made that shit look as good as it can look, especially Thanos. Um, and, the Hulk, you know, the way they meld the Hulk with, uh, Mark Ruffalo's face and they've got Ruff,
Starting point is 00:29:12 a Hulk. Um, it's good stuff. 25 years from now, we might look at that and we might have this, we might feel the same way we feel now when we watch Lord of the Rings and like the green ghost army is running up and there or that scene where and this
Starting point is 00:29:28 is actually practical where the the the ints break down the break the dam free the river and there's it's a miniature with water flowing and that is something that you cannot do well with practical CGI water is the best water
Starting point is 00:29:44 they mastered that with the perfect storm two decades ago. Titanic. The perfect storm is even better than Titanic. The perfect storm is outrageous. Those big waves in the darkness with the lightning flashing. And you're like, all right, that's,
Starting point is 00:29:59 that looks real. That looks a hundred percent real. That will always look a hundred percent real. They've just nailed it. But then when you watch them break the dam and the water rushes over Isengard and down to the cracks where the Uruk-hai are
Starting point is 00:30:11 doing their evil underground, it's like ugh. Upon first viewing, I hated that scene. I was like, this is the worst. This looks terrible. It's clearly a model. It's Arts and Crafts Day at middle school. Luckily, I liked it because i thought tree beard was cool tree beard is cool and i was 11 if they ever decide to if they ever
Starting point is 00:30:34 decide to remaster that thing for let's say 8k you know when 8k becomes the standard if i'd be okay if peter jackson was like look um needed we didn't have the technology back then but let's go ahead and slip a 50 million it wouldn't cost that much like 10 million dollars whatever it costs to like make it 50 and then add the scourge of the shire at the end a little bonus oh come on you know that doesn't work as far as storytelling the scourge of the shire can't fit no it wouldn't have made sense any other time but just added it it now. When I read the books last year, I was like, and I got to The Scourge of the Shire, I was like, but the story's over. It's like when you're having sex, you have your orgasm, and then like, you know, sometimes in porn, there'll be like a dominatrix, and she'll be like, oh, it's not over. Yeah, how do you like this?
Starting point is 00:31:22 And the guy's like, oh, stop, it's too much. Stop. No, no. That's what The Scourge of the Shire is. oh it's not over yeah how do you like this and the guy's like oh stop it's too much stop no no that's what the scourge of the shire is it's like it's like this should feel good but i'm so done yeah i'm so done i was done with this 15 minutes ago and oh god it's just painful now why are they that's such a great hob. The hobbits are dying? Because all it does is it leaves you off.
Starting point is 00:31:50 Even watching the movie the first time in theaters, I remember it fading away after the eagles pick up Sam and Frodo from the rock, and it fades out, and I'm like, wow, what a good ending. And then it fades in, and he's hanging out in Rivendell and I'm like, okay. And then they have fan service reintroduction of characters which did happen in the fucking books. And Bill goes in the carriage all over and Bill looks terrible.
Starting point is 00:32:15 I have that old ring of mine. I wish Frodo had been like, motherfucker, don't you know? But he's cool about it. He's like, no, I'm afraid I lost your ring. Instead of just being like, are you fucking kidding me? You're not that fucking
Starting point is 00:32:31 old. You know what happened. You don't know about the fucking battle in the armies. You don't know about this? You don't know about this, motherfucker? That's what happened when he's eating his elf steak or whatever in the morning. His elf steak and egg breakfast. Frodo's back, master Bilbo, and he's like eating his like elf steak or whatever in the morning his elf steak and egg breakfast like frodo's back master bill bow and he's like okay oh hello who are you you're gonna be so mad at me because it really it's pretty clear you know 500 years of or
Starting point is 00:32:58 you know 100 years of this getting delayed is because of me yeah that's the perfect example they just he just, that was clearly J.R.R. Tolkien being so obsessed with his world that he didn't want to let it go. And so he just kept adding more stuff. Pippin and Merry leading the charge against Saruman and Grima coming back to the Shire.
Starting point is 00:33:17 It's just, it's like, now the stakes are so low. So low. Where it's like, hey, send a fucking messenger to A aragorn what is what's he gonna do oh he'll if if this is still going uh he'll just send an army from gondor and conquer anything yeah yeah nothing at stake you've won there's nothing at stake it's it's just i i remember reading and being like god damn there's like 80 more pages like this what the fuck how can that
Starting point is 00:33:41 even be and you know yeah i got through it and the reunion feast was grand they had and it's like oh it feels like it feels like in like the early in the early 2000s you could get like the director's cut or like the dvds that would have all these bonus features and you'd watch them because you love the movie but you'd be like uh i'm glad they didn't include that let's watch the next scene glad they didn't include that. Let's watch the next scene. Glad they didn't include that. It's just like, this is just filler. This was rightfully cut. And then like every now and then there's a little gem
Starting point is 00:34:10 or a different ending that's the better ending, like the Will Smith movie. That's the copy of Omega Man. It's the one where the, with the zombies. I am legend. I am legend. Yeah. Omega Man was the Charlton Heston version. and there's an even earlier version before that uh omega man is great i
Starting point is 00:34:30 like charlton heston but in any case um the the alternate version of that's better uh than the theatrical version of that you know the ending the ending is just it's just better and then there's the um the asylum knockoff, I Am Omega. I haven't seen that. That's so bad. With Mark Dacascos. It basically thinks Sharknado, only the Omega Man. Okay.
Starting point is 00:34:57 Well, Sharknado must be doing pretty well because they made nine of them or something. It became a meme movie. It became a meme. It became like a so bad it's... Look, so bad it's good is people use that too much. There is a became like a so bad it's look so bad it's good is people use that too much like there is a such thing as so bad it's good it's frankly kind of the point of cecil's channel it's just like it's a lot of movies that are so bad they're good or at least yeah this is bad but it's got redeeming qualities you don't even know like look at the backstory of
Starting point is 00:35:20 this like there's a lot of that but sharknado is like silliness for the sake of silliness and it's it's almost like a parody movie at this speaking of like the way you said that where it's like so bad it's good uh cecil what would you do you have any just off the top of your head like the top few like so bad it's good like that you like you personally recommend because i love that's my genre so bad it It's Good, especially horror. Oh, yeah. Well, initially, it's funny. Had I thought about it,
Starting point is 00:35:51 this is just going to be a quick tangent. When I was originally coming up with the name for the channel, I wasn't thinking like So Bad It's Good movies. I was thinking like movies that, you know, talking about the good and the bad, as well as movies that are perceived as bad but really are good and right john carter of mars well actually just john carter because
Starting point is 00:36:13 that's how they released it but i think if they would have put it john carter mars it might have done better it's another one i want to do a video on but um i i think that there's a lot of uh people out there that they'll see the name of the channel. I've actually gotten a lot of people who they're like, I've avoided your stuff for so long because of the name. And then I see it. And that's not really what you're talking about. You're not, you know, they assume that I'm doing something where I'm just trashing a movie where it's like, no, I'm I'm kind of talking about like the love of these movies. But some really so bad.
Starting point is 00:36:46 It's good movies. I just recently saw one. I'd never heard of before. And I saw it. I thought it was hysterical. It was a movie called Dirty O'Neill. It was a movie from the seventies where it was this cop in a small town and every woman just wants to have sex with them.
Starting point is 00:37:02 And like, it's, it's like ludicrous. Like he'll see a girl hitchhiking and he'll pick her up and she's just like, Hey, and then they're having sex. And then, uh,
Starting point is 00:37:14 there's a girl who is, um, she's, she's holding a, uh, she's jumping out of a cake for like a bachelor party. And all the guys are so horned up. They all chase her around the hotel and the
Starting point is 00:37:26 cop happened to be there and he sees her and she's like save me and they go into like a supply closet and then while they're in the supply closet they're like what are we gonna do in here oh let's have sex and then it like about an hour into the movie there's a brutal rape and it's like oh oh it kind of like it hits you. And then all of a sudden it returns, it turns into like this revenge movie. Not everybody. Apparently.
Starting point is 00:37:51 Well, that, well, he, well, that was the thing he didn't, it was these, these gang members who came into town.
Starting point is 00:37:56 It wasn't, it wasn't a dirty O'Neill dirty. O'Neill was the hero throughout all this. And then, uh, he, so he has to go out and get revenge on the guys it's it's a crazy movie uh that one's really good i'm trying to think of horror movies that are uh that are bad there's um
Starting point is 00:38:13 uh scared stiff which is one i did a video on a while ago that one is pretty pretty crazy uh that one's a lot of fun it's all about just evil pigeons and the 1953 or the 1987 there's a 1987 one there's a movie called a horror movie called like the hole or the hole in the ground or something like that where the little boy is going to the hole in the woods and there's like a creature down there or something oh uh the pit the pit yeah where it was actually um the book that it was adapted from it was all about uh this kid who was just like mentally disturbed and when the director who got the job basically got the job because he was the only one at the studio at the time they called up and they were like hey uh you're a director and i was like yeah you want to do a movie oh sure and so like
Starting point is 00:39:10 they gave him this movie to do and he ended up changing the whole thing and made it all about this uh there was actually these little demons and and it's a that that one's a lot of fun that one is another one that's yeah he's like he's like luring people to the hole or the pit and like either tricking them into like he's like go long like you know or and then they'll fall in the pit and basically feeding people to the the demon creatures that are down in the hole that one's kind of a so bad it's good for me um things like the ghoulies uh which is kind of a gremlins knockoff puppet master movies in the mouth of madness to some extent. Like it's it's pretty ridiculous. But I like all that stuff.
Starting point is 00:39:52 I like horror. I like horror for what it is. I can I can watch a bad horror movie and see sort of like, OK, I see what they're going for. This isn't supposed to be scary. This is supposed to be ridiculous. We we talked about this one a while ago. I don't remember if you saw just the end scene or if you actually watched it, Kyle.
Starting point is 00:40:09 The Sleepaway Camp, the 80s horror movie. Oh, yeah, where the girl turns out to not be a girl. Yeah. Have you seen that one, Cecil? I think everyone has. Yeah, I did a video on it a while ago. It's crazy. That one is the I did a, I did a video on it a while ago with it's, it's crazy. That one is the movie where a lot of people,
Starting point is 00:40:29 they don't remember it, but they're like, what was that movie where it was a horror movie and it was a girl. And then at the end, and it's like, Oh my God, it was, you know,
Starting point is 00:40:36 that's a, that's a dick. It's like, Oh, she grew a dick and a foot taller. Same face though. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:40:44 The guy, I may have heard it in your video. They just hired some guy to put on a mask of the girl and just stand there with his dick out. He was really embarrassed and nervous about it, so he got drunk before. He's just standing there
Starting point is 00:41:00 with his dick out in this movie. Maybe even they still don't know who it was. That might have been part of the on in this movie and maybe even they don't they still don't know who it was like like that might have been part of like the mythology of this movie he was nervous for the easiest acting gig in history yeah but his dick's out and like and you know to be fair he's not like a super well-hung guy you know and and this is a feature film you know it's gonna be was this big i mean it's not like a blockbuster but like it's gonna be it's shown across the country you know it played the you know it played the grindhouse theaters it played the drive-ins and stuff and uh
Starting point is 00:41:31 it's uh i mean it wasn't um i don't think it really took off until like vhs when when word of mouth started spreading about it i mean that's when I saw it. I saw it, I think sometime in the early 90s. And yeah, it was a kid. He was a college student. And that was really all the information that they had about him was that he was a college student. He needed some money. And they were like, hey, come here, wear this mask and just stand there naked holding a severed head. And yeah, he got real nervous and he got drunk. And so I'm sure somewhere on the books they have who did it. But they don't want to say probably because nobody knows who it is. And he probably has a family now.
Starting point is 00:42:18 He doesn't want to, oh yeah, there's me naked. What if he's a woman's head on? What if he's a famous actor now? That's Matthew McConaughey. good you know yeah that's what if the woman's head on what if he's a famous actor now that's matthew mcconaughey it was george clooney you know yeah and then like event horizon is one of my all-time favorites like when people ask for people that's the same one right it is the sam neill one and um and lawrence fishburne um when people ask for movie recommendations, and they've seen, I don't know, the canon. You're not going to be like, have you seen The Godfather? They've seen The Godfather. They've seen The Shining.
Starting point is 00:42:56 You can't just go with your top 25, top 100 even. It's like, have you seen Event Horizon? It's like, that's one of my favorite like kind of fell between the cracks it's not a fucking masterpiece but it's a good movie and it's fun it scared the shit out of me as a kid it holds your attention the whole time and i need to re-watch event horizon again but i actually that's one of the videos i watched of yours uh before we had john is uh it was focused on pandorum but you were talking about all like the comparisons between Pandorum and Event Horizon.
Starting point is 00:43:27 And like, I don't know, I'm probably just so impressionable. I was watching you talk about it. You're like, and a lot of people remember not liking Pandorum. And I'm like, I don't remember liking it that much. And then he's like, but they're wrong. It was actually pretty good.
Starting point is 00:43:39 And I'm like, yeah, I guess it was pretty good. I loved it. I love Pandorum. And they are sister films they there are so much like i love i'm not it's it's one of those movies with a like shamalon like twist at the end right like like that twist at the end catches you so off guard and i guess if you really pay attention like maybe you pick up the pieces along the way but you're still not gonna get the full twist no matter how attentive uh attentive you are up the pieces along the way but you're still not going to get the full twist
Starting point is 00:44:05 no matter how attentive uh attentive you are like going through the film um great twist at the end great acting um by uh by everybody involved i i i'm spacing out on the actor's name is the tennis quaid ben foster ben foster kim gig. I'm a big Ben Foster fan. Um, I like him and everything he's done. I thought he was excellent in 30 days of night. Um, he reminds me of like a lesser known Walter Goggins that, that he's just this character actor that when,
Starting point is 00:44:35 when he shows up, he does a great, he was in three, 10 to Yuma. He's excellent in that too. Uh, I like him a lot. I've never seen him do a poor,
Starting point is 00:44:43 a bad job. Him and hell or high water. Holy holy man he was just amazing in that ever see that one meaning to see that that's got um chris pine in it right yeah it's chris pine um uh jeff bridges really terrific film yeah i just i think maybe i had some stuff going on when that came out and i wasn't watching anything there's a few like like my life is like split into these like periods of time where it's like oh no i didn't see anything between 2010 and 2012 like i have no idea what was happening during those years and then like three years ago it's like yeah i didn't really catch anything uh i was, I wasn't around.
Starting point is 00:45:28 But I think that felt that falls into one of those cracks one way or another, but I've been meaning to watch it. I've seen previews and I've seen like a few like teasers of it and little clips of it on YouTube. Like there's a scene at a gas station maybe where they get into a fight or an argument or something. That's really good. But I haven't seen it. So like we were talking about Pandora.
Starting point is 00:45:42 I'm like, I think it probably was good. But I don't really hate any actors or actresses. But there is something about Dennis Quaid. I hate Dennis Quaid. I think he's terrible. Really? I've never seen. As long as I can remember.
Starting point is 00:45:59 If I'm scrolling past something and I'm reading the description of a movie and it seems interesting. And then it says starring Dennis Quaid. He is the one name in all of Hollywood where I'm reading the description of a movie and it seems interesting and then it says starring Dennis Quaid. He is the one name in all of Hollywood where I'm like, you know, I think I'm going to go watch a Nick Cage movie because I actually like Nick Cage. It's funny how like not good he is in a lot of his acting roles, but
Starting point is 00:46:17 you know, I like him. I can't help but like Nick Cage. There's something about him. Dennis Quaid just, I don't know what it is. He never did anything to me. It must be some movie I watched when i was a kid and i'm like this guy fucking sucks i hate him are there any actors like that for you guys where like you'll see the name of the man or woman and you're like you know maybe maybe another day if i see jack black i'm like nope not doing it there's only black like I can't watch Jack Black actually try. I've got to watch him in something like
Starting point is 00:46:48 Pick of Destiny, where he's just sort of playing himself in his own thing. I can't watch something like School of Rock. Oh, I thought School of Rock was good. I thought School of Rock was good and I think he played himself in School of Rock, so I'm not following, really.
Starting point is 00:47:04 He's just got the one character, he plays jack black in every movie yeah black in every movie with the i will say i watched um the the uh jumanji welcome to the jungle and yeah i enjoyed that way more than i expected and he was kind of not jack that's one of the few movies where he was not Jack Black but every other movie he's always oh I'm crazy guy I'm gonna raise my eyebrow oh aren't I funny and I'm just like no you're not funny
Starting point is 00:47:32 that's what Will Ferrell did to me I loved Will Ferrell I thought he was the greatest thing and then second movie it's like yeah still like him third movie I'm like so this is the whole range huh it's just gonna be'm still like him third movie i'm like so so this is the whole range huh they're just gonna be will ferrell in every movie okay yeah oh are you surprised that this situation you're in is awkward huh yeah that's how i feel about jim carrey like the other day
Starting point is 00:47:56 speaking of will ferrell and i was just sitting there my laptop and i was like you know not paying full attention not not even half attention but i'm like scrolling on netflix or something and i see like a movie it's called will ferrell and julia louise dreyfus so elaine from seinfeld and i'm like oh yeah i like elaine a lot and i like will ferrell all right from what i remember let's put this on oh it's a movie about and it was like it was description was like a wacky adventure on a ski trip you know brings up glorious laughter and i'm like okay and like as i'm sitting down like working like it's maybe like 20 minutes in like i'm glancing up and it's like huh no laughs yet no laughs yet and then like they're all sitting out like having the you know they're
Starting point is 00:48:36 married and then they have their two kids there they're like on their ski vacation and they're sitting out on like you know if you've ever been skiing they have those little like mountainside diners where you can stop in and get like hot cocoa or a beer or a pizza and they're sitting there on the outside and they see an avalanche start to come down and they're like panicking and then it gets to the point where they know the avalanche is going to actually hit that building and so they go everybody's freaking out and will ferrell just stands up grabs his phone and runs inside and leaves his family out there. And like I was like, oh, that's kind of funny.
Starting point is 00:49:08 And but apparently that wasn't the joke at all. The entire rest of the movie is like couples counseling of Julia Louis-Stryfus, like going around, like trying to have fun and her being like, you abandoned us and our children. How am I supposed to ever trust you? And I'm like, this is this is like stressing me out because i'm just watching people in a bad relationship the kids are stressed out they don't they don't respect the dad anymore but they're also resenting the mom for driving them apart and it's like not only am i not getting as much done as i should but this i'm not enjoying this yeah i i like some will ferrell stuff um i really like step. I honestly like Ricky Bobby. Talladega Nights.
Starting point is 00:49:47 Yeah, yeah. Elf is good. I think everybody likes Elf. It's one of those classic Christmas movies at this point. And the one I like when actors like him and Jim Carrey do serious stuff. And his borderline serious movie that I saw that I enjoyed was Stranger Than Fiction. Yes. Where he's got the inner monologue going and it's like he doesn't understand what's going on.
Starting point is 00:50:09 It's like narrating his life and he's going a little batshit crazy from it. That's interesting. And then with Jim Carrey, the number 23 is pretty good. The Truman Show, he kind of plays it straight. It's more of a drama. That was a really sad movie. And then Man on the Moon. kind of plays it straight. It's more of a drama. I would say it very much plays it straight.
Starting point is 00:50:27 And then Man on the Moon. Man on the Moon, what's the real person's name? Andy Kaufman. The Andy Kaufman story. That's his finest performance. Him as Andy Kaufman, I think some people will be turned off because it's so wacky,
Starting point is 00:50:43 but what you've got to keep in mind is it's a fifth as wacky as andy kaufman actually fucking oh yeah he played andy kaufman in a movie i want to watch that man on the moon dude andy kaufman was hilarious you know his like shtick where he used to get up there and he'll be like i will outwrestle any woman in the audience that's a huge part of the movie like him and jerry the king lawler like that's a huge part of man on the moon the movie and it tells like his real life story um you know he and he was on that tv show was it called taxi or taxi something or another with with um danny devito and a few other uh people who went on and did big stuff uh kaufman was I don't know. It just,
Starting point is 00:51:26 he's, if you don't know who Andy Kaufman is, just watch some clips. He was a very unique kind of comic comedian. I don't know. He's his own kind of man. Very unique. A showman. You either love him or you'll hate him.
Starting point is 00:51:39 I'll, I'll say that. There's parts of the parts of it. I'm just like, God, I would hate to be in the same room as this human being i would i would have to kick this guy's ass at some point right like like you can't you're not a woman he didn't challenge you he's one of those people who like takes the joke
Starting point is 00:51:53 way too far and it's just like dude are you still kidding or are you being a cunt right now like am i gonna whip your ass that's norm mcDonald. Oh, I love Norm MacDonald. I love Norm. He does this thing where he takes a joke that should be short to medium and makes it extra, extra long until everyone is, like, frustrated and unhappy that this joke is super. Dude, it's one joke. He just keeps doing it again and again.
Starting point is 00:52:23 And I'm like,'m like bro like all right like the first time i heard it may be kind of funny i kind of admire how you don't seem to feel pressure to advance your story but at some point this is just bad comedy i i love him i loved when he was on a weekend update and and he's got that one bit. There's the bit about women or whatever, and I don't remember the whole thing, but there's this one part where it's this real sexist bit, and the audience kind of boos a little bit. He's like, oh, and just so you know, that joke was written by a woman, and the audience is like, oh, okay, we get it now.
Starting point is 00:53:04 That was kind of funny after all. And he's like, yeah, how do you feel now? And he's like, just kidding. We don't hire women here. They're not funny. And then they're just like, oh, poo again, poo again. And it's just like. That's well played.
Starting point is 00:53:16 He takes them up and then down and then up and then down. I loved him on Weekend Update. I like almost everyone on Weekend Update. I don't watch it anymore but uh it seems like a lot of careers when i peaked on weekend update he was merciless with oj when when like people didn't that i don't remember what the the case was but there was some sort of bullshit where like someone at nbc was like an oj supporter or something like that one of the higher-ups at nbc and they were putting the pressure on like uh on the makers of snl they were like hey tell that norm mcdonald guy to lay the
Starting point is 00:53:50 fuck off oj all right he's not he's national treasure all right we he probably didn't cut those people's heads off like tell him to lay off because every week norm is just that turns out oj simpson cuts people's fucking head off heads off yeah that's a thing and and and just every week and they fired him because of that because he was like no fuck you oj simpson cuts people's fucking heads off i'm gonna i'm gonna pick on him on my show and they fired him they fired him for that yeah i didn't know that's why he left he was he was unrelenting with his oj bits it seemed like such a weird line to draw yeah that's what i was gonna say you wouldn't think like that would be the hill that he dies
Starting point is 00:54:33 on not that it's a bad hill to die on it i don't know like you know what i'm gonna take a stand i'm against violent rapists and pedophiles how brave of me right you know you'll get banned on reddit for that kind of oh i want to talk about that maybe not now but yeah we'll shift to that in a little bit and anybody who wants to see the see that see that it's just skip to click this link right here right here there's nothing there we're not that we might overestimate the production quality we're going to bed after this uh so something that we mentioned previous to the show and i wanted to save for it was uh cecil you were
Starting point is 00:55:12 like uh spielberg sucks like spielberg that was me you said spielberg sucks and then i think cecil i don't want to put words in your mouth you said he is really overrated something to that effect i was interested in your your take on on him well it's not so much that that he's overrated i think he made some amazing films but he achieved a point where i really feel like he i don't know necessarily if he doesn't care anymore but i think that um the spielberg that we got in the 70s and 80s that made some incredible films is just not there anymore like after I saw uh Ready Player One which uh I had said was the because every year I do a best worst of the year and I had said that was the worst film of what 2018 I think um or 2019 whatever and i basically poured it down to that movie was everything that's currently wrong with hollywood in one movie there was just way too much cgi it everything
Starting point is 00:56:16 looked fake everything was just hyped up to 11 uh it was references which I understand was what the book was but it was just everything was a reference and it was just tiresome and I was just irritated that I'm like I know that this guy can make really amazing films why isn't he making you know why isn't he
Starting point is 00:56:39 still making amazing he hasn't made a good movie in a garbage he hasn't made a he hasn't made a good can't even remember the last good movie that he made. I've actually got his filmography pulled up because I wanted to be fair with this. And as I look over it, I'm going to draw back a little bit with what I said before. So my biggest problem with him is it seems like he's so obsessed with the childhood aspect of what's going on in a story. Like, like so many of his stories seem to be told from the viewpoint of a child or I don't know. He just sort of like fucking pushes children into the fucking story. But I've got, I've got a few of his move,
Starting point is 00:57:16 his entire filmography here. So jaws, obviously 1975. I'm a huge fan. It's, it's in my top 25 all time. It's, it's amazing. Close encounters with Third Kind, it's very slow, but I love it. It's a childhood favorite of mine. I love it as well. I like all the Indiana Jones movies. They hold up well. I've seen them recently. I fucking love them. They still enjoy them. They're wonderful. Lots of good, to be fair, practical effects when they're on those tanks and stuff. It's great.
Starting point is 00:57:46 The fight scenes with Indiana, when he's like fighting the, the big fucking Nazi guy and he like knocks him into the propeller or when he's got like the stomach flu. So, so he, he was like, look, Spielberg, I can't film that in depth fight scene. And Spielberg's like, you know, it would be great. What if he just just put what if the guy comes out with the big sword does this big flourishing thing goes ah and you just pull out your revolver and shoot him right there in the street and it's like yes oh that's so brilliant like when that happens it's such a great moment um love the indiana jones films all all three of
Starting point is 00:58:21 them because they never made a fourth it didn't happen um et the extraterrestrial i was a it came out in 82 i was born in 86 by the time i was old enough to watch it it was corny to me at eight i was like i don't even like reese's pieces get the fuck out of here it could be that it just landed on the right age for me personally. I think the Back to the Future is incredible. That's where I was headed. The Back to the Future. I'm like, why isn't Kyle? Back to the Future.
Starting point is 00:58:50 That's like his number one. But it might just be I was the right age for it. When did those come out? 85. The color purple is a fucking masterpiece. What's that about? That sounds familiar. That's the one with Whoopi goldberg and danny glover the like it's it's i haven't seen i've only seen it once
Starting point is 00:59:12 but i just racism thing yeah i was blown away it's it's like whoopi goldberg living this horrible horrible life at the hands of danny glover that was a good one. It's rough. Empire of the Sun is a perfect example of what I was saying, where like, I don't care about this little kid in Japan. There's a bigger world out here. There's a World War II drama to be had, and you're focusing on the kid.
Starting point is 00:59:38 I didn't care. It's like a British boy in Japan during World War II or something like that. I've only seen it once, and I didn't care for it because of everything I just said. It's like a British boy in Japan during World War II or something like that. I've only seen it once, and I didn't care for it because of everything I just said. Honestly, Hook. Again, I've got all these movies pulled up here. Hook was great when I was a kid.
Starting point is 00:59:54 I liked Hook a lot. I rewatched that a dozen times. Love that shit. Robin Williams? The worst movie he's ever made, according to Rotten Tomatoes. Oh, okay. It's one time I agree with Rotten Tomatoes. I don't like it either. Then he made Schindler's List and Jurassic
Starting point is 01:00:10 Park in 1993. That was a big year for him. That was a big year. I mean, I wasn't watching Schindler's List in the 90s. I was watching the Jurassic Park. Of course. Then Amistad in 97. And then of course
Starting point is 01:00:25 in 1988 he comes up, he makes one of the greatest films ever made, Saving Private Ryan. Probably the best war movie that's ever been made. Just a perfectly cast, perfectly filmed, perfectly written drama. And that's my favorite
Starting point is 01:00:41 movie he's ever made of what I've seen. I haven't seen all the ones you've listed. The good about save it private ryan is even though that movie took like a a lot of sort of twists and turns like it wasn't all just about one thing it wasn't about this beach it wasn't about the like a particular battle that they build up to they they were winding around and it all fit they didn't do inglorious bastards where like sudden like dude this was an amazing super duper movie and then there was like a movie theater burning thing yeah and then we just plot entirely for some reason this woman is part of the movie now i look i've said it before i'll say it again that's his worst movie that's that's Tarantino's worst movie, Inglorious Bastards.
Starting point is 01:01:26 I hate the Shoshanna storyline. I wanted to watch a movie about, imagine this, the Inglorious Bastards. The titular Inglorious Bastards. Every scene- When he's going with the bat and he's like, oh, the bear Jew, and he's going to fuck off. I'm like, man, this movie is going to be awesome.
Starting point is 01:01:45 And they should have had a little disclaimer that's like, this is the last time you'll see anyone doing this. Walk out of the theater in about in about 45 minutes. There will be a cool scene in a tavern and then leave. So go take a long shit now. I'll be back in 45 minutes. And I've seen it at the very end is a good payoff. But you're right. There's just a huge.
Starting point is 01:02:06 It's extra content. They could have shortened that movie and made it better, which is something I don't usually say, but Saving Private Ryan, every second of that movie made it better. Agreed, 100%. And then, like, the next, in 2001, he has two more that are
Starting point is 01:02:21 like, a little different for him, right? Before that one, Cecil, you had something on Saving Private Ryan? Oh, actually, I was just going to say, did any of you ever see the inspiration for Inglourious Bastards, 1978's The Inglourious Bastards? No. Never seen that one. Never heard of it.
Starting point is 01:02:39 Well, it's, yeah, it's better. Because I think, look, I like Tarantino a lot, but I do agree with a lot of the things that you said that is Inglorious Bastards. It went on longer than it needed to. And there was a lot of unnecessary subplots and stuff. fantastic um enzo uh g castellari uh just war exploitation film uh with uh with fred williamson and bo svensson uh it's it's out on blu-ray now uh it is a really really just cool movie that uh tarantino like openly admitted that he kind of cribbed the name and then various ideas from that one. He draws from a lot of sources.
Starting point is 01:03:30 Oh, yeah. That's his thing. I'm perfectly fine with it because he almost always... I feel like he's the guy who's making a mixed drink and he's using Coca-Cola. It's like, yeah, he didn't invent Coca-Cola. It's like, he made a nice coca-cola it's like
Starting point is 01:03:45 he made a nice fucking drink here all right we're gonna shit on him for for using coca-cola you wanted to make his own cola first it's just like like he takes coca-cola and some orange juice and some rum and he creates his own fucking thing that's beautiful most of the time look at jang he did a couple of films that are that are sort of like this reimagining of history with a bit of revenge. Right. And Django, it was African-Americans getting sort of their revenge against slave owners. It's that's the whole story. Right. It's it's it's a slave getting his freedom and then gunning down a whole plantation of racist slave owners. of racist slave owners. And Inglourious Bastards was almost the same thing. It's Jews getting revenge against Nazis. But then for some reason,
Starting point is 01:04:33 there's that whole subplot with Shoshanna. And to be fair, that's still Jews getting revenge against Nazis. But God, when the A a side is um um brad pitt and um and eli roth and uh and whoever is playing hugo stiglitz like like like all those guys and then the b side is shoshana who is a fine actress whatever her real name is but like but that's not why we're here that b side pales in comparison to the other thing. Like if they had just stuck with the inglorious bastards and given me like, show me the whole ambush, right?
Starting point is 01:05:10 That leads up to the bear. Do you crack in the, uh, the German with the, with the bat? Let me, let me have a couple of battle scenes. If you pay attention, we never get to see the inglorious bastards do anything. No, they sold us an action movie in the previews. I remember seeing the previews and being like, Oh, it's going to be like a world a an action movie in the previews i remember seeing the previews and being like oh it's gonna be like a world war ii action movie and it's you know mostly dialogue and not that the dialogue is necessarily bad just that it's like oh well this isn't at all
Starting point is 01:05:34 what i was what i bought a ticket for and those scenes with winston churchill and mike myers and um um oh whatever that guy's name who's like like the British spy who's coming in. And he holds up the wrong three at one point. That's a beautiful fucking scene. I love that. It's not that I'm like, come on, Brad Pitt's not on the screen. What the fuck? It's just that whenever Shoshana's on screen,
Starting point is 01:05:59 except for that first part, when you've got the Jew hunter and uh that guy that looks just like you you know have having that whole conversation you have many you have your daughters are beautiful you're harboring enemies of the state under the floorboards are you not yes yes they're you're hiding them under the floorboards. He drinks that poor man's, all of his delicious milk. I love that. Like Christoph Waltz is... Great. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:06:31 Anything he's in, like I was so sad that they couldn't get Christoph Waltz for The Hateful Eight. It's clear that that role was written for him. The mustachioed guy with the hat who's played by... Kurt Russell or something. No, no, no, no. It it doesn't matter i can't think of his name right now but in any case it's clear that that part was written for him christoph waltz is fucking amazing and i love him and everything he does but yeah i i don't know that that movie was a big letdown uh well i mean kurt russell was in it but that's not the role that oh i thought he's one of the bad guys um like english bob or english mike or something like that he's he's one of the the the gang it doesn't matter he's a bad guy really well yeah but but yeah getting back to
Starting point is 01:07:16 the spielberg like filmography um you know minority report i i like that a lot as i go through here i'm like wait a minute I guess he was pretty fucking good I liked AI artificial intelligent that little Haley Joel Osment movie like that was and then catch me if you can he made the same year as Minority Report that's a fucking killer with Leonardo DiCaprio
Starting point is 01:07:37 I didn't like War of the Worlds War of the Worlds was so bad the kid made it like through all of like the uh just when at the end he comes up over i'm like oh no and he made it there before them no i'm not buying this yeah like like come on kill some kids steven spielberg like like like we i don't know his kid thing annoys me it. It's always about a kid. Even in Minority Report, it's all about a kid. It's all about Tom Cruise
Starting point is 01:08:08 and how fucked up he is because his kid has been murdered and everything like that. It's always about kids. Jurassic Park was almost ruined by those kids. He changed E.T. They had shotguns and all that, and they changed it to walkie-talkies and everything.
Starting point is 01:08:25 You can't have guns around children. What it comes down to... I got a little too upset over that. Spielberg's too soft. Yeah. E.T. was the same movie within Out the Guns. Like, that didn't bug me. The Han Solo shooting first, like, that was actually a character development issue
Starting point is 01:08:42 for me. Like, is this guy the sort that does this or that? Like, at the end of a recent Superman, I get their names mixed up, but he killed General Zod. Zod. Zod. Thank you. Thank you.
Starting point is 01:08:54 Yeah, so he killed General Zod, and people are like, oh, my gosh. Superman murdered him. And it's like, yeah, he did. If they changed it to where he didn't, that'd be a substantial change in this guy that we're watching. And it's like, yeah, he did. If they changed it to where he didn't, that'd be a substantial change in this guy that we're watching. He'd be a different person. Han Solo shooting first or not,
Starting point is 01:09:18 we're meant to learn that this guy has flexible morality. Can you fill me in? What does that mean, Han Solo shooting first? Oh, so there's a scene where Han Solo is sitting in a space bar, and this this guy comes up and an alien and sits down with him and they're having a little discussion and i don't remember the particulars but it's something like han owes this guy's guy some money there's some kind of a disagreement business-wise and it's it's gonna come to blows or worse it's escalating and han is gonna lean back all casual and he kind of does this thing where he just shoots the guy under the table and kills him right there and and he shoots first
Starting point is 01:09:52 and it's it's become a meme because they went back and edit re-edited it so that the alien pulls his gun out and shoots misses and then han responds you know it's one of those things like like i might have a good guy but i think i'm right he misses han solo dodges a laser right pause on that and then of course he accurately shoots the other guy and kills him because like kyle said good guy shoots second and it's like oh no no that. That matters because we're establishing whether he is flexibility with his morality. You know, we're establishing that Han Solo is a smuggler. He's kind of a bad guy, but he's our bad guy with a heart of gold, whatever. Like that's we're learning.
Starting point is 01:10:38 So that mattered. On the other hand, E.T., when they put walkie talkies in the Secret Service's hand. Yeah. I don't care. I'm with you 95% of the way there. Yeah, it's important for Han Solo's growth as a character, you know, that he starts off, he's this dastardly guy who's on the fringe of legality and morality. And at the end of the trilogy, he's got to make this decision where it's like
Starting point is 01:11:05 you know what i could run i could i could profit i could escape and live but nope i'm coming back with a millennium falcon i'm gonna fucking ride right in there with and and you know help my friends i'm willing to risk my life for my friends and that's that's han solo's journey it's his growth as a character it's important that he starts kind of... If he starts off as fucking white hat wearing, you know, hero type who shoots second, where does he have to go from here? What's the arc here?
Starting point is 01:11:35 What's the arc? Yeah. There's a funny thing with... Greedo was the character that was going to shoot Han Solo. And when they changed it to where Greedo shot first and then Han Solo reacted and shot him, they actually changed in. Here's my nerd hat going on in the Star Wars RPG. If you wanted to make a Rodian character, they had a negative whenever you were shooting
Starting point is 01:12:08 at point-blank range. So, it was kind of funny where it was like, okay, this guy, essentially they explained it away that he sucks at point-blank range, which is why he completely misses Han Solo. Because if you watch the whatever
Starting point is 01:12:23 remastered edition of Star Wars he misses him by like it looks so awful like he's holding his gun and the bullet the laser just goes way in the other direction it looks so fake I think that's one of the biggest problems with it is that it just doesn't even look like doesn't look right
Starting point is 01:12:39 if you don't know this scene at all to the viewers picture two guys at a bar sitting at a table the size you might play poker at you know like a western type bar table you don't know this scene at all to the viewers uh picture two guys at a bar sitting at a table the size you might play poker at you know like a western type bar table you don't miss from there you don't miss from across the three feet you can touch the gun he could have touched him with the gun well he's not very good at point blank range taylor you know how challenging that can be yeah well you don't understand his species has segmented eyes and at close range, you have to understand, he's seen 18 different Han solos. He hit the one he was looking at.
Starting point is 01:13:09 They should have redone it and made it a, if this is a word, cycloptic creature. And then be like, oh, it's shitty one eye and it's depth percent. At least then you got something, right? It's just bad. It's just bad. Yeah, it's just stupid.
Starting point is 01:13:21 And also, if I'm understanding your guys' point, you want him to fire first. Yeah. There's nothing to overcome. The anti-hero, it's just stupid. And also, if I'm understanding your guys' point, you want him to fire first. Yeah. There's nothing to overcome. The anti-hero, it's easy to... He started as a hero, and he made it all the way to hero. The anti-hero is a relatively new thing. And I think it began with Tony Soprano.
Starting point is 01:13:38 I think it began with Tony Soprano in that scene in the fourth episode, think called college when he kills that rat and he he strangles that rat to death with with a wire while his daughter's at college and murders him like like it's cold-blooded murder like the guy's even like hey like giving him plenty of good reasons to like spare him he's like you know i i'm sorry for what i did i could have killed you last night but i didn't and that was a lie he didn't shoot because there were witnesses you know but you were with your daughter and i and i i said this guy's with his daughter there's no reason to do but it's a believable lie and tony's like fuck you you rat and he strangles him to death right
Starting point is 01:14:18 there and fucking kills him with his bare hands and it like for that time period you know in 1999 it's like whoa our hero our protagonist just murdered a guy in cold blood with his bare hands without that you don't get a walter white you don't get a uh the guy from mad men you don't get any of these great anti-heroes that we have that we all love now like even characters like even characters like Don Draper. Thank you. Yeah. Just real piece of shit, real morally corrupt,
Starting point is 01:14:50 terrible human being. And even like something like, um, um, what's the superhero movie where, um, what's his name is just a total shit bag. Um, Deadpool,
Starting point is 01:15:03 Deadpool. You know, I don't even think you get a deadpool if if you haven't already set this scene that like yeah people love this shit people like a bad guy who who does bad things and is still likable tony soprano started all of that he was the first anti-hero that was like mainstream right there and and and beloved that's a great like scene you're talking about where when he's driving back and Meadow's like, why do you have mud on your
Starting point is 01:15:28 shoes? Why is your hand bleeding? There are puddles. Stop it with all the questions, Meadow. I work in waste management. Are you in the mafia? He's just driving, just looking
Starting point is 01:15:44 forward, knowing the question's been asked then i like they have to figure out like aj is like man everybody thinks i'm awesome at school because because they won't fight me in the in the baseball yard and everybody's like what are you what are you retarded yeah you're your dad's son he's like my dad collects trash and they're like you're an idiot he's like do you know any other garbage men who live in houses like he's like uncle jackie yeah and why do we call him our uncle when he's not even related to us it's because he's part of dad's other family yeah i don't get it aj's just so retarded meadows off like an nyu and going to like scholarship meadow was smart i love that meadow
Starting point is 01:16:26 was smart yeah aj sucked aj's very i wish aj had been killed and i think that would have been a cool like like because by the end it's like oh my god he's got that stupid goatee and he's got that dominican girlfriend aj should have been the varsity athlete his father never was and like played through he didn't have the makings of a varsity athlete that's a lie so I watched a whole 45 minute video today about about the hypocrisy of Junior saying that they're like in reality Junior Soprano is the one who never had the makings of a varsity athlete. He's the older brother, but he's always second fiddle to his brother, Johnny. Johnny excelled at this, at that. He had the most beautiful woman. Junior was described as a creep hanging outside her apartment,
Starting point is 01:17:17 fawning over her, telling Johnny's wife on him for cheating on her. Junior is the one who is surpassed by his younger brother and then by his nephew. He's the one who's physically weak. Meanwhile, Tony is the big hulking guy who used to be able to lift 300 pounds over his head. The guy who was a varsity athlete in football. And Junior's like, you didn't play college ball. It's just like, those guys at seaton hall were seven feet some of them you thought i was gonna be a varsity college athlete like what are you talking about like and that gets under his skin so much he's like oh yeah melfi about it says it on the mic he's a varsity athlete where the fuck does he get off it's very hurtful to me as a kid. He said to all my girl cousins.
Starting point is 01:18:08 Dude, every time I put on my CPAP, fucking asshole Tony Soprano, I'm like, yes, I'm a MiG pilot. Fuck you, Tony. I need this to sleep. It's a medical device. Why are you making fun of me? It's not my fault.
Starting point is 01:18:25 Fuck you, Tony. You're not even alive and your character's not real. I think, Kyle, I think you told me this, that like he was a weirdo. The actor, Gandolfini, like himself, wasn't he like a strange guy? No, I think he's a very beloved human being. Like everyone talks about how wonderful he is. No, not that he wasn't just like an eccentric guy. He took the role very, very seriously, and he was very self-conscious. He didn't think he was a great actor himself, and it made him really try hard.
Starting point is 01:18:56 But I think he's a wonderful actor. Oh, he is. But no, I haven't ever heard anything except for praise for Gandolfini. Really beloved by cast and crew. His family loved him. And all his interviews, he's really genuine down to earth. I was meaning more like Daniel Day-Lewis. Everybody knows he's kind of a weirdo on set.
Starting point is 01:19:20 Yeah, method actor. But he's very good. I didn't know if Gandolfini was the same. Walking around pretending to be Tony the whole time. I don't think Gandolfini was a method actor but he's very good like i didn't know if gandolfini was the same like walking around like pretending to be tony the whole i don't think i don't think gandolfini was a method actor um i i haven't heard anything like that i you know when i normally hear about people who do that um i'm a little annoyed by it it's like come on but when you see daniel day lewis and you hear that you're like whatever gets you there yeah whatever gets you there like it for example in my left foot where he plays a guy with i think
Starting point is 01:19:51 cerebral palsy uh a real life story of a man who only had the use of his left foot and became an artist and a writer like literally operating a typewriter and and using a paintbrush with his fucking left foot and very talented very sad uh story and he would make people carry him around the set he wouldn't walk he would stay in a wheelchair and only use his left foot and it's just like if anybody else had done that i'd really be rolling my eyes right now and it'd be very frustrating and be like come the fuck on like like matthew mcconaughey did that like dude i just i saw you in a lincoln commercial last night you're not that big of a deal but when daniel day lewis does it and you watch the movie you're like whatever gets you there because you just you're incredible cecil daniel day lewis is one of the actors that he could be in anything and i think think Kyle would have an interest in wanting to see that.
Starting point is 01:20:47 Who are the actors that do that for you? If you just see a guy's made a movie, you got to see it. Peter Weller. I think Peter Weller is completely underused. I do too. He is my favorite actor. I will watch him in anything. I've seen movies where he is absolutely giving 100% and the movie is maybe 10%. So I love him. And Lance Henriksen is another one where complete class act always is just amazing. Even if the production is just well below him, he still shows up and does a great job.
Starting point is 01:21:30 So those are two that I will just watch. Peter Weller was really good in Sons of Anarchy. I liked him in there. I thought he was well cast in that. I like Peter Weller too. I thought he was really good. I'm looking at the films. I don't know what they've made. Yeah. Most people, when they think peter weller they think robocop and rightfully
Starting point is 01:21:49 so robocop is just amazing but um i mean the dude has so much more range than just robocop what's the movie he was in um it's not the abyss it was um like the sister film of the abyss maybe it's it's where they're underwater oh leviathan leviathan yeah yeah i like leviathan leviathan is really cool i like leviathan the monster's awful but everything well did i mean i'm gonna get into the the story of the monster was um the production designers and the artists and everything they were coming up with designs for the monster so they were doing all these different designs and they showed it to the to the director and the director said yes and they're like well which ones do you like and he's like no yes i like all
Starting point is 01:22:33 of them so they were like well what do you want us to do well combine all of these monsters into one monster and that's why at the end when the monster shows up it's just this thing with like it because there was no real sexual design it's just like everything thrown into one monster and it's absolutely ludicrous at the end of leviathan there's this there's this part where if i remember correctly i haven't seen in years but it's like peter weller the girl you know like like the pretty girl and ernie hudson you know the black guy from ghostbusters all make it to the surface and there's this moment of like we made it and then the monster comes up and eats ernie hudson and it's like fuck why i like ernie hudson why you why do you have to and i if
Starting point is 01:23:29 i remember correctly even ernie hudson was like the fuck yeah uh ernie hudson was having a disagreement with uh george p uh cosmatos uh he was saying you know he's like okay really my cat he's like i'll do i'll do the job if i have to he's like, okay, really? My cat. He's like, I'll do, I'll do the job if I have to. He's like, but I really don't think that the, that the monster should kill me here. He's like, I went through all this.
Starting point is 01:23:51 I should be able to live. And, uh, cause modest was like, no, no, you have to die. And he's like,
Starting point is 01:23:56 all right. It would be like at the end of Jurassic park when they're all on the helicopter and they're like flying away. And it's like, you know, it's the old guy Hammond who ran the helicopter and they're like flying away and it's like you know it's the old guy hammond who ran the park and sam neill and and you've got that like final moment of him like embracing the two children he's come full circle and he's got nelly with him you know the girl and it would be like if a pterodactyl just came along and like grabbed nelly and like
Starting point is 01:24:21 ate her right there and you were just like fuck and! And then the helicopter did a loop-de-loop and killed it with the blades. And everybody's just sitting in the helicopter like, oh, I thought it was over. The climax has happened. It's that example earlier of the orgasm that's already happened, and we're still fucking jerking it for some reason,
Starting point is 01:24:43 and they eat Ernie Hudson. It's like, God, Ernie Hudson had the best line of the movie when, uh, when they're on the, like the cam phone with, um,
Starting point is 01:24:54 with the, the evil, uh, Meg Foster. And she's like, I can't imagine what you have gone through and gone through bitch. We still here. That's a great line.
Starting point is 01:25:07 And yeah, like I absolutely wanted him to live everybody wanted him to live and uh he's even said i met him at a at a convention a while ago and he had said uh when most people come up and they're like you know hey we loved you you should have lived in leviathan he's like i know i should have lived he still looks good he's mad that he died in the in the movie yeah i'm telling you meg foster by the way has one of the most interesting looks of any actress of all time her eyes are so piercingly blue they're unnaturally blue like they should have had her cast in Dune. The old Frank Herbert's Dune. They're so blue.
Starting point is 01:25:49 It wouldn't have to do with the contacts. You don't even need the CGI contacts or whatever they did to map blue onto everybody's eyes or whatever. It looks kind of bad. It does look bad. I got a soft spot for Dune. I'm looking forward to the remake. She was in Masters of the Universe. I got a soft spot for Dune. I'm looking forward to the remake. But she was in Masters of the Universe.
Starting point is 01:26:07 I got your recommendation, and it was just absurd. Look, when I recommend Dune, I make sure people know, like, this is known as one of the worst disasters of a movie of all time. Like, the director doesn't even like people to know that he directed it like literally like he's just like no that didn't happen what are you talking about that was my my twin yeah that's some other guy um but i like it i i like it and i can't explain why i like it i guess i just like the story and maybe I fill in the blanks of badness. You know, like,
Starting point is 01:26:45 like I like steam in it wearing his fucking like, like, like all ripped and like, like, like oiled up wearing that like cod piece or whatever. He's wearing that space man. Keeney. Like I like the,
Starting point is 01:26:59 the knife fight. I like Patrick Stewart. Um, I mean, that's the guy who like has all the, he like floats around yeah Baron Von
Starting point is 01:27:09 gross guy I can't recall exactly I hate when he's on screen he's so gross he's like spitting in like his underlings mouth and they're like oh he's got like a master yeah he's got like that twink boy slave with like the heart plug that he pulls out.
Starting point is 01:27:26 You know, like just a real nasty group of people. It's a son. It was like it was too reminiscent of the Willy Wonka scene when that lady or that girl like does all the bubble, the blueberry stuff and she's floating or whatever. Yeah, you're absolutely right.
Starting point is 01:27:42 When he's like puffed up and he's levitating around, like it's just like the blueberry girl scene from willy wonka yeah i never considered that sinister you like this is not an original take at all but i'm sure you guys agreed when you were kids watching willy wonka that tunnel scene scared the shit out of me i remember knowing that it was coming up and i would look away when i was a little kid and then once like you know what what's the song they're playing with like the the the disjointed graphics and everything and it gets faster and faster and yeah it's very unsettling um that's a that's a bizarre
Starting point is 01:28:18 movie um it's gene wilder is a fucking treasure i think he might still be alive or maybe he just died a couple years ago he died not too long ago yeah um love gene wilder my favorite gene wilder movie is um what's the western god damn it the western directed by who by who it's um fuck i'm gonna i can't blank in here too it's uh blazing saddles blazing he rode a blazing saddle oh god you are a shining star oh that's so fucking good everyone should watch blazing saddles yeah the old uh you can't make that kind of movie these days you absolutely would not be able to make blazing saddles these days no not even close i love the scene where he's like it's like walking down the street to the there's like an old lady he goes howdy ma'am how's your day going he goes up yours
Starting point is 01:29:19 and he's just like fuck holy it's just so over the top and aggressive it's just just so bad like like he's riding into town and like the whole town has this welcome wagon literally to like welcome the new sheriff and you've got the old prospector up on the tower with the with the the eyepiece and and uh they're like can you see him the sheriff's coming what's he look like and like the sheriff's and he's saying the n-word but a bell's ringing so they can't hear like every time he says it and then he rides up and they see he's a black guy and they're just all just not having it there's a part where he holds himself at gunpoint that was a funny scene like it's just it's just silly it is silly it's like uh that's from like the 70s
Starting point is 01:30:06 that's a real yeah mel brooks yeah it's great is he still alive mel brooks mel brooks is still kicking yeah jesus christ he must be like a hundred well he came out recently uh just talking about how uh a lot of his movies just they're you know i mean not not even being egotistical but just talking about that style of comedy just doesn't exist anymore and uh and it's it's it's brutal because you go back and you watch them and yeah they're they're still like genuinely funny i mean i love blazing saddles but i don't know i i think um i know i'm probably in the minority on this but i've always been partial to history of the world part one i just that was my first mel brooks movie and i i really think that it's funny because it just it spans so much
Starting point is 01:30:52 different uh time periods and it's just such a unique and bizarre film and really really just funny yeah i like all sorts of humor i i'm a big fan of Monty Python. Um, I like British humor. I like dry humor. I like, uh, I like all that. I like they, uh, like, like the, um, that like Norwegian style of humor. That's really dry and weird. Um, things like, uh, that, that TV show that we liked about the Vikings. Um, Oh, it's not Norseman. Is it? It's Norseman. Yeah. Yeah. Like, like it's a, it's a real weird kind of humor that they have. It's, it's very dark and, uh, and, uh, it's dark and dry. It's it, but it's good. I like it. Um, and I liked, I like different kinds of humor for sure. And Mel Brooks is, has his own fucking flavor. It's, is, it has his own fucking flavor. It's a,
Starting point is 01:31:45 it's, it's outrageous. It's there. There's racial elements. There's no behind Norseman. No, no. We were just talking about blazing saddles a few moments ago.
Starting point is 01:31:56 Okay. My bad. Yeah. I'm, I'm the same way. I like, uh, bizarre humor.
Starting point is 01:32:02 I like all kinds of humor. Like if, if something is funny, it's like funny. I don't like the, the, like there was a, every,
Starting point is 01:32:13 like a while ago, the hangover was really popular. And I thought the hangover was one of the most overrated comedies ever because everything was set up, set up, joke, set up, set up,
Starting point is 01:32:22 joke. You saw everything coming a mile away and they went with the rule of, which is we were talking about earlier, where you take something that's not funny and you keep doing it and eventually it becomes funny. And that really only works if you're very talented or a lot of times it works in British comedy
Starting point is 01:32:43 where it's just, they'll do something and it's just, oh, that's uncomfortable. And then it becomes funny. But when they try to do it here, I think it just fails miserably. And I, I can't stand it and I don't laugh at all. And I get angry. I was okay with the first one, but the sequels were so derivative of the first one. It's just like... I like National Lampoon's Vacation, for example. That's one of my favorite movies of all time. I watch it every Christmas.
Starting point is 01:33:12 It's a childhood favorite of mine. My dad loves it. My mom always thought my dad looked a little bit like Chevy Chase. We have a big laugh about him being kind of like Chevy Chase in that movie. Kind of ridiculous. And then Vegas Vac vacation isn't all that derivative of it it does a different thing and then some people like european vacation i'm one of them i guess i like it there's tits in it um which which is which is different than the rest
Starting point is 01:33:37 of them so i appreciate that always a plus always and uh in the first one uh beverly d'angelo uh she got naked right because they did the you know where they were doing the goof on psycho yeah and he was like oh can i wash your back and she's like i already washed my back he's like can i wash your front are we sure that's right i forgot in national lampoon's vacation beverly d'angelo who has some of the best boobs ever the incredible body uh is topless and i had completely forgotten about that how did you forget i don't know i like that she has a great body and she doesn't play someone with a great body in the film if that makes any sense you know yeah you're like oh dressed are very grumpy yeah now christy brinkley was in that she wasn't you did we not see her nude or it was no christy brinkley doesn't get no she's just she's very
Starting point is 01:34:32 leggy she's in her like ferrari or whatever and she's just in the music's playing and and she's like looking at clark and he's just like her nudity's implied i think she takes her top off and throws it away in the pool i just don't know if it's filmed. Yeah, but you don't see anything. Yeah, yeah. And I love the scene where Clark is trying to eat a sandwich sexy while looking at Christy Brinkley. And in the background, Beverly D'Angelo is like, I think the dog peed on the sandwiches. And Clark's just like. There was a great callback bit i think it was in vegas vacation where uh clark is driving the car
Starting point is 01:35:09 and christy brinkley pulls up next to him in the uh in the ferrari and they're playing the sexy music and all that and you're like oh whoa it's her again and she still looks dynamite and then the car pulls a little bit forward and behind her is like the baby seat with the kid in it and it's like oh clark mouths clark goes my baby and she goes and like speeds away and it's like clark fuck christy brinkley in the first movie i missed it yeah that's good i i like chevy chase now you you were talking about people who are notorious for being douchebags behind the scenes. Chevy Chase is notorious for being a horrible human being in real life. Like nobody wants to work with either of them?
Starting point is 01:35:55 Yeah. Ed Norton and Chevy Chase are two peas in a pod. Nobody wants to work with them. They're just awful human beings well chevy chase is also really old now so he he might not even be acting anymore anyway like i wish i could remember what the oh well chevy was in community recently um i can't remember what the actor was whenever i was working on that stupid movie um a couple years ago my my like assistant or whatever that would drive me around and stuff and get me food.
Starting point is 01:36:25 Like he was telling me that he had, I can't remember what actor he had worked with, but like he, they wanted apples and he had like gone, they're like, go to this store and get me these apples. And he had gone and gotten them apples. And they're like, eat, they like take a bite of the apple and look at him and like, are these organic apples? And he's like, ah like i'm not really sure and they're like like spit the apple out like start screaming at him about organic apples and toxins
Starting point is 01:36:51 in the skin he's just like man i don't know i thought apples was apples i was like well man if you ever bring me apples i'm gonna be happy no matter what i appreciate you driving me in and out by the way this is this is good burger he fucked fucked it up by not just saying, yeah, they're organic. Yeah, I saw a thing on Reddit today about Orlando Bloom where apparently Is he shitty? He did this. He told the assistant
Starting point is 01:37:15 that he wanted Starbucks but he wanted Starbucks from a Starbucks one hour away because it was the best Starbucks in the city. And so the assistant would go to the next door Starbucks, sit, play on his
Starting point is 01:37:31 laptop for 45 minutes, then order the coffee and take it back to Orlando Bloom and he would have no fucking idea. I like it. Maybe Orlando Bloom just thought this assistant was the most annoying guy ever. I want the one.
Starting point is 01:37:47 I want a bagel, but I want it from the Einsteins in Manhattan. Book of Flight. My old Manhattan favorite, Einstein bagels. On one hand, that's douchey, and I can get how. You don't like the guy who asks for that. On the other hand, if you're rich and you've accomplished, if you've reached Orlando bloom stage in life, then you don't have it.
Starting point is 01:38:11 And he's not saying like, you know what? Like, I like that Starbucks. I know it's an hour drive, but we'll pay you the whole time. I, I,
Starting point is 01:38:19 I'm okay with that. What I don't like is people who are rude to people. I don't like the rudeness that, that, that guy was describing to me from, I wish I remembered the celebrity who are rude to people. I don't like the rudeness that, that, that guy was describing to me from, I wish I remembered the celebrity. I used to know, I I've told the story before and I probably mentioned the celebrity's name.
Starting point is 01:38:30 The first time I told it, whatever that is, that's who it was. I don't remember it. Maybe Tom, probably not Tom. I don't know who it was. I don't remember.
Starting point is 01:38:39 But, uh, but I just remember thinking like, wow, there are human beings like that, that like spit apples at other people, like, wow, there are human beings like that that, like, spit apples at other people? Like, over them not being organic or whatever the fuck? Yeah, spitting food at people, very rude.
Starting point is 01:38:53 Incredibly rude. Yeah. Spitting at people. There's a lot of stories of Chevy Chase just being a complete horse's ass like on Nothing But Trouble he was constantly berating Dan Aykroyd because Dan Aykroyd he wrote, directed produced, was
Starting point is 01:39:13 playing two roles in the film and was getting paid I don't remember off the top of my head but I think he was getting paid two million dollars and Chevy Chase was being paid like six6 million or something. And he constantly was just like, oh, yeah, well, they're paying me this much. And they're only paying you this much and was constantly throwing his face in front of the crew.
Starting point is 01:39:35 And to the point of where one of the crew members was like, look, I'll drop a brick on his head and make it look like an accident. It was just because they loved. Then do I get Dan Aykroyd? Yeah. Nothing But Trouble is a great movie. That's another one of those childhood favorites of mine. I don't know how many roles John Candy plays. Obviously, he plays the cop just as John Candy.
Starting point is 01:40:00 And he plays the sister. Isn't he one of those gross like mutant twins that are out in the jungle no um no dan akroyd was was um little little debo and he was one of them and then they hired another actor to do because basically what happened was uh when they were casting for that they could only find one person that was willing to do it so dan akroyd was like all right i guess i'll do it too you know and uh he signed on to do that so he did that he did uh the he did the the judge and uh you know he just really threw himself all in on this and at the time they were filming um bonfire the vanities and that was going to be warner brothers's big
Starting point is 01:40:46 movie for the year and that was having all kinds of problems so the studio was paying attention to that and just let uh dan akroyd go nuts and he was going into the producer's office literally giddy and laughing saying you know we need 35000 to build a model train set and they were like alright here's the money you know there's no one here to say no so they just kept you know kept giving them money and I think the end result it's a shame we never saw
Starting point is 01:41:15 the full director's cut because when the studio finally did see the movie they panicked and they just took a hatchet to it to bring it down to a... It's bizarre. How did Dan Aykroyd's penis nose make it into the final cut? He's got this prosthetic nose on and it's literally a cock. Because it's only in the one scene.
Starting point is 01:41:40 You only see it. It's there, but in the one close-up when he the hot dog, it is when it looks like a penis. And then it cuts back and it doesn't look like a penis anymore. And so I think that's probably is very kind of you because it looks like a horse penis in a bun that he's eating. It's like a boiled like Polish hot dog from the 16th century or something. It's gray. It's clearly wrapped in some sort of intestine it's he's all shaky well one of it one of the things that got cut from the movie was showing that uh the people that they killed they made into the hot dogs so that was one of
Starting point is 01:42:22 the many things that got cut so that's you, you know, on top of being disgusting looking, they were also disgusting because it was a person. And just so much got chopped out of that movie. Demi Moore is so hot in that movie. I'm a big Demi Moore fan. Yeah. She's beautiful, beautiful in that movie. Chevy Chase was complaining because he said that she was,
Starting point is 01:42:43 he was complaining to like the the um uh the clothing designer uh saying that she was dressed too sexy and how dare they uh they do this to her and meanwhile demi more's like no i i kind of like this i look really good like why are you don't don't white knight on my Yeah, she's wearing like this white blazer skirt combo, if I remember correctly. And she's got the short hair like she often did. And she is just a 10 out of 10. Just beautiful woman.
Starting point is 01:43:15 So hot. So, so, so fucking hot. So fucking hot. So fucking hot. Amy Moore. It's a good movie. Good movie. It's a weird wacky. Wacky is the word. So fucking hot. Demi Moore. It's a good movie. Good movie. It's a weird, wacky.
Starting point is 01:43:27 Wacky is the word. Comedy. Yeah. Absolutely. It's absurd. What was the movie where Demi Moore fucked Robert Redford? Indecent Proposal. Yes.
Starting point is 01:43:40 With Woody Harrelson. I haven't seen that one. You haven't? That one gives Woody PTSD. I don't like that one you haven't that that one gives woody ptsd i don't like that one would that be woody's greatest fear in life is that a billionaire is going to gonna offer him a hundred million dollars for a night with jackie oh i don't get to fuck him in this scenario no no oh oh a billionaire offers a offers a offers 10 billion 10 million dollars for a night with Woody.
Starting point is 01:44:08 Yeah, go for it. Jackie, he's like, no. With you. And you're like, well, now we have to do it. That would be a fun one to ask Jackie. What if an eccentric billionaire wanted to spend a night with me for $10 million? She would not be down. I think we asked her that on the show once I texted her and yeah, she just,
Starting point is 01:44:30 there's no amount of money that makes it worth it to her. Yeah. I don't feel like she's thought it through. There's a lot of money at stake in these hypothetical scenarios. I'm down. Right. I would think that you could get that offer. Mention me,
Starting point is 01:44:43 tell them, tell them you're very live you could hire a hypnotist to just remove that memory like no that didn't really happen i won the lottery or maybe it would work it seems like you could gaslight somebody right if you worked at it you'll need to hire a team of hypnotists well you can afford it after $10 million. Look, I'll fuck Robert Redford for free just for the story. Yeah, be gentle. He's old.
Starting point is 01:45:15 Yeah, he might be dead. Is he 80? That was a handsome man. That was one of the best looking men ever at one point. I agree. Robert Redford. Yeah, looking men ever at one point. I agree. Robert Redford. Yeah, good looking guy. I can't picture this. Looking dude.
Starting point is 01:45:29 He is 84. 84. I could fuck him to death. Knocking on death. Yeah, you could fuck him to death. You could absolutely fuck him to death. Yeah. Just get his rate up so high that it just pops in his old chest.
Starting point is 01:45:43 I feel like you're going overboard with it. This is like when Taylor took Accutane for one pimple. You could snuggle him to death. You could smush him to death with just a good hug. 84, you're getting pretty frail. You edge him for a little bit, Kyle. He's done. With my smooth, non-calloused hands.
Starting point is 01:46:04 Non-calloused hands,-calloused hands and he'll like it'll be like who is that guy David Carradine it's like as Redford is busting and coming he'll just die poor David Carradine did he finish
Starting point is 01:46:18 auto erotic asphyxiation and he passed out and hung himself to death while masturbating that much i knew but taylor implied that he masturbated to completeness oh well i hope so i don't think he made it to completeness oh i hope he did for his sake at least you know go out with a bang he has there's a few movies of his now everybody knows kung fu and everybody knows kill Bill. Yeah. That would be an upgrade. Go ahead. But he made like 30 other shit tier movies where he's just blasted drunk. Like,
Starting point is 01:46:51 like, like I can't remember the one, but it's like him and his son are like fighting crime or something together. And they're like, they're like, there's this whole quick draw thing and spinning the pistol and everything. And like the son doesn't know that he's david kerding son he thinks they're just like partners and and in this job they're doing or whatever and david kerding is visibly drunk throughout the
Starting point is 01:47:13 production he's just like yeah what um what are we gonna do tonight he's just like david kerding is just drunk on screen he's not acting His character isn't supposed to be drunk right now. He's just drunk. Oh yeah, he was like, Daniel Day-Lewis was supposed to play an alcoholic, so he became physically dependent on alcohol. And it's like, this guy is like, oh no, you're supposed to be
Starting point is 01:47:38 like an accountant. He's like, what kind of accountant? And the account strength down my gullet. happens so that doesn't work well like actors who like are supposed to be portraying a drunk person actually getting drunk like rarely does that actually work like robert shaw and jaws is a perfect example of that when he's doing the whole uh uss indianapolis speech you know they're down below decks it's like the second night of their journey out to get the shark and uh and he's like uh they're showing off scars him and um um what's his name from um close encounters with third kind of fellow um they're showing
Starting point is 01:48:17 off scars like yeah stingray off the coast of malta and he's like oh yeah well uh this is a thresher shark you know this and that and they're showing and he's like, oh, yeah, this is a thresher shark, you know, this and that. And they're showing it. And he's like, what about that one? And he gets all quiet. And he starts telling the story of the USS Indianapolis. And it's probably the best scene in the whole movie. The first day they filmed that, he got shithouse drunk. Because the characters, they're drinking.
Starting point is 01:48:39 He got shithouse drunk. And it's awful. And Spielberg's just like, that didn't work. That didn't work at all. So they came back the next day. He did it sober. Killed it. Killed it.
Starting point is 01:48:51 It's a wonderful performance. You wouldn't want to be shitty drunk if you're playing a drunk person. But I feel like having a couple drinks, few drinks before, might make it easier. Like you're like, oh yeah, I'm feeling the alcohol in me.
Starting point is 01:49:03 I'm supposed to be acting drunk. Like amp it up. But I guess I'll act in but yeah like straight up like like if nick cage was blackout drunk for every scene and leaving las vegas like yeah of course that wouldn't have worked i'm pretty sure nick cage was drunk for that scene in mandy when he's guzzling that bottle of vodka like you can tell from the camera work in that scene they don't know what he's gonna do really like yeah you can tell by the way it's shot that they're because like they'll zoom in and they'll be like whoa hang on zoom back out what's he gonna do now because he's just getting so wild like they don't know he's improvving he's clearly improvving because like the cameraman doesn't know what and when to zoom in on. Like, like he's,
Starting point is 01:49:47 he's every now and then he just gets a little wild and start screaming and guzzling the vodka and pouring it on his wounds and just, ah, just, and then they get that commercial when he goes outside. That's just so juxtaposed with what just happened with that, like puke monster with the macaroni and cheese. Mandy is another one of those movies that is just instant classic for me yeah i liked it i loved everything about it one thing that that i've got
Starting point is 01:50:11 a real soft spot for in in movies is um that 80s synth stuff um it's one of the things that that i like a lot about john carpenter and the music that he made for his films that 80 cent music really uh like does something for me and I like that and Mandy I like the the scenes of animation they threw in there um and and I like I like a good revenge story it was so trippy all the lights the the weird lighting that's kind of unnerving I liked that Yeah. Yeah. I really dug Mandy. That was one of the best trips. That and Leaving Las Vegas I think are the two movies I've seen for him. He was actually really good in that.
Starting point is 01:50:53 Have you seen The Color of Purple? No. Or The Color of Purple. It's one of the others. He made it right after Mandy and I was like, is this the resurgence of Nicolas Cage? Has he found his genre, these wackadoo sci-fi picks? Not that Manny was exactly sci-fi, but it had a vibe to it. Those bikers were almost supernatural with their vibe about them.
Starting point is 01:51:21 It's either the color of purple or the color purple. I don't recall exactly the color out of space oh is that it color out yeah i may have seen that yeah the uh the one because there was so much purple yeah there was a lot of purple yeah that's oh and just a quick aside um the guy who directed uh to kind of tie this back to what we're talking about earlier uh panos cosmitos or cosmodos is the son of george p cos uh cosmodos who directed leviathan so kind of continuing with the uh the director's thing interesting yeah color out of space is this weird thing where like nicholas cage and his family are in like this farmhouse they've moved out of the big city uh the wife has been recovering from cancer and they've just kind of gotten away from it all
Starting point is 01:52:10 and then like interdimensional aliens come into play and all of a sudden there's a lot of practical creature body horror effects with like cows turning into tentacle monsters and or maybe it's sheep or something like that. I've only seen it once. And then, I'm not going to spoil it for anybody who might want to watch it. It's worth watching. I liked it. It wasn't as good as Mandy.
Starting point is 01:52:36 But, like, Woody hates Mandy. I don't know why. Mandy was good. When we recommended Mandy to Woody, and uh he watched it and he said that like a quarter of the way a third of the way through it he thought we had played a trick a trick on him they found the worst shittiest movie they could built it up like it was good so i'd go watch it now here i am wasting my time those fox those fucks. And then when I told you about that, you're like, what? No, we really like it.
Starting point is 01:53:07 We had that conversation twice and I'm still wasn't sure I've come around to think that you actually like that movie. Although I can't relate to like, not only do I like it, but I watched it with like a group of eight guys. And at the end we had an hour long discussion where we're all just creaming over it. We're just like, and can you believe the colors? Oh, the color skips the way they change with his emotions. And,
Starting point is 01:53:28 and, and when he, when he finally does that acid, the way the music changes and it gets super surreal. And then there's that scene with the black guy from predator where he's going to get his, his like crossbow or whatever. And he's like crazy fucking Jesus freaks.
Starting point is 01:53:44 They fucking kill her. And he's just like, hisesus freaks they fucking kill her and he's just like his acting performance is actually good the man has an man has an oscar that's all i always have to say yes he does he's got an oscar all right all right i'm interested in this mandy since it's a little split here kyle and i like it what he doesn't did you see mandy cecil i'm sure you did yeah I saw it. I liked it because it was just really weird. I think it was one of those rare occasions where I do agree where
Starting point is 01:54:12 they just kind of turned the cameras on and said alright, Nicolas Cage, go! And he went. I think that it's a unique movie. It's a very colorful movie. It's not like anything else. It's a movie where i can absolutely understand both sides of it i can understand if you really love it and i can
Starting point is 01:54:31 understand if you really hate it um some movies i'm kind of like how can people not like this or how can people like this but this is one where i absolutely understand because it is so bizarre it's one of those movies where they knew while they were making it that this was going to be a cult film that this was going to be a film that was love it or hate it there's really nobody like i understand why woody doesn't like it um it but but it just really appeals to me like like i like the chainsaw fight like like there's a scene where like they have a chainsaw fight nicholas cage is like i they have a chainsaw fight. Nicholas Cage is like, I've got a chainsaw. And the other guy is like, I have the biggest chainsaw you've ever even heard of.
Starting point is 01:55:11 Like, the blade is literally six feet long or something like that. And they have, like, a chainsaw fight. Chainsaw v. Chainsaw. Every action scene in that movie is the cinematic equivalent of children on the kitchen floor banging pots and pans. I thought it was good just chaos and i give it a 90 out of 100 on the kyle scale it is uh it's probably it i don't know i would say it's in my top 250 or something like that like like it's a it's in my top 250 like like yeah yeah because i've tried to do a top 100 before and it's like i've run out of in fairness it's in my top quarter million yeah like uh i've watched far far too many movies um and uh if you can't if such a thing is possible
Starting point is 01:56:03 and it's a it's a good film it's i feel like everyone should watch it it there's i think there's a lot of artistic value there um and if you like nicholas cage you gotta see it like like if you like nicholas cage even a little bit and nick cage has made some movies that are that are good and then he's made some that are atrocious you know like i like con air for example i i just like it i think it's funny i i think it's like uh you know i i like the love story he's this sort of damaged fucking you know he the whole reason he's in prison is like defending his wife in a bar fight and everything and he just seems like a nice guy he is a nice guy and then you got steve fushimi as like the lovable child murderer
Starting point is 01:56:46 you know but it's it's fucking got danny trejo in there is like johnny 27 or something like that because he's raped 27 women you know like just a real despicable piece of shit you got john malkovich as like i think cyrus the virus might be his like prison name and he's somehow the second most evil guy on the airplane cyrus the virus you know because danny trejo is like just abominable just an optional rapist they've got the one like female guard and danny trejo is just like all about like getting becoming johnny 28 or whatever the fuck. And even Cyrus the Vire. They ain't going to be Johnny 100. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:57:29 And John Malkovich is like, Jesus, easy with the rape. Let's get free first. You can do all the raping you want when we get out of here. Let's just concentrate on getting free. It's a good one. Okay. I like it. So before we jump to the next thing,
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Starting point is 02:00:25 Absolutely. Absolutely. So I was going to make another mistake about the ads, but I won't. Taylor just saved me a lot of editing work. Taylor, I love your background. It took me like 15 minutes to notice Cecil. You surely don't know.
Starting point is 02:00:43 I moved like four or five years ago and that is my old office that's me younger me yeah i just i bought a green screen and so i was like what's something that's like kind of distracting but not that distracting i was like i gotta find a high def image of woody's old thing and i was like oh fucking easy peasy just kind of yeah you've really that's hilarious. You've got a much nicer space now. It's bigger. You know what? I'm going to steal that space. We're going to get rid of the pull-up rack for you.
Starting point is 02:01:14 Yeah, get rid of the pull-up rack. Green screen's fun, man. I was having a good time on my stream. The first 40 minutes of my stream last night was just switching to different things, like doing impressions and voices.
Starting point is 02:01:28 And like, we, we spent like 10 minutes just on King of the Hill stuff. It's like, it's silly, but it's like, I'm, I'm having a lot of fun with it.
Starting point is 02:01:34 It's the kind of silly I like, like put myself, you are muted Kyle, just in case you don't know. Um, I know. Okay. I didn't know.
Starting point is 02:01:43 Yeah. I don't want to loudly shotgun your you know seltzer water whatever that is I'm just very loudly enjoying this diet Hanson diet black cherry soda I was just like ahhh I like the idea
Starting point is 02:01:57 that someone had on our hangout who was like I need to record me you know doing things in the room and then like play that as like i'm already sitting down like have myself bring me a beer have myself bring me and then have the beer just off screen so you can like thank thank you bro get out of here you know fat ass you could get on livestream fails for that. I'm sure.
Starting point is 02:02:28 I haven't seen it done. Maybe it's been done. Yeah. I got drug tested yesterday. I was out. My probation officer called me. He's like, hey, Kyle. And I didn't have his number saved in my phone.
Starting point is 02:02:40 I'm just like, who's this? He's like, it's me, your probation officer. I'm like, oh, hey. How's it going? He's like it's me your probation officer i'm like oh hey how's it going he's like uh yeah can i can you meet me at your house i'm like yeah yeah i'll be there in 15 minutes so i meet him and everything was he at your house he wasn't yet um but you know 15 minutes went by and he was and uh we had a good talk he's a great guy i i genuinely like this guy i think i'd be friends with this guy if you know we didn't have a professional relationship uh seems like a real nice guy um i honestly all my probation officers have been like that like
Starting point is 02:03:15 the one guy we both shared a passion for cooking and uh like he saw my uh my fancy kitchen knives and stuff like that because i was i was like so i've got these knives you know he's like oh yeah that's the japanese oh yeah yeah yeah oh oh you've got the german ones too yeah i was like yeah the japanese is kind of for fish and the german ones yeah for meat right i'm like yeah yeah yeah that's great for me yeah we had this whole great conversation we like the same cooking channels and stuff but yeah this guy i've got right now we we got some stuff in common too cecil might think you're a murderer i don't think we've i am that's that's what it is no yeah um no it's uh i i i got uh arrested for possession of marijuana like three or four years ago and uh i did a little time in federal prison for it and now i now i'm serving the last of my two years of federal probation for marijuana possession.
Starting point is 02:04:10 So I get drug tested somewhat regularly. So someone asked, you know, what the drug test looks like. So I actually saved it. I saved my pee cup. And it looks like this. It's just this little jar. It says drug test cup and it's just like you know the thing you like check your pool water with yeah you know you see
Starting point is 02:04:32 all those lines there um it shows up right away yeah almost instantaneously um i'm gonna try to like yeah yeah so like up here these solid things the blue the orange the things i'm touching are different drugs um and i'll read them off in a moment down here you either get a positive or a negative just like a birth control test and this is sort of a guide for that down here that's what that is uh if there's two lines obviously i don't have it i realize this one is a little faint but there are two lines there i promise um because i'm here not in federal prison or in lockup somewhere but the the drugs tested are um amphetamine um mdma which i think is like uh ecstasy uh stuff like that uh Benzos, THC, MOP, which I don't know what that is describing.
Starting point is 02:05:30 Oxy, which I'm guessing is like Oxycontin and stuff like that. And meth, M-E-T, which I'm pretty sure is like methamphetamines. MOP is morphine. Ah, good call. Excellent. Good to know
Starting point is 02:05:45 Should be more MOR So yeah So yeah that's the deal It's sometimes written as MOP slash MOR Yeah it should be MOR Oh we're going to use the silent P The F sound P Dicks
Starting point is 02:05:59 So yeah and he also had like a secondary thing He like dipped in there I don't ask questions but um it i'm sure it was some sort of one more secondary yeah one more thing on top of whatever this is i'm sure part of you like every time you take those and you see all the drugs you're like i'm glad i only ever had a thing for pop and not these like real deal you know hardcore ones you know like yeah these all sound good they're all fun but like you know like like never done any meth uh but as i look down the line like amphetamines sound great i loved adderall i still have a prescription for adderall the only reason
Starting point is 02:06:40 i'll take it is because i don't want to have to deal with that this you know i had to be like oh just so you know i'm going to test positive for methamphetamine because i take these I don't take it is because I don't want to have to deal with this. I had to be like, oh, just so you know, I'm going to test positive for methamphetamine because I take these. That would be fine, but I just don't want to add any complications. MDMA? Most drugs don't knock you on your ass. So I'm not a drug person. I expect them to. Taylor was talking about the first time he ever used marijuana.
Starting point is 02:07:05 And he was like, this is what high is? Like almost like not sure if it works, right? Alcohol, that one I do know something about. And again, it's like in small doses, you're just a little uninhibited. In bigger doses, of course, you're kind of knocked on your ass. But like I've read about what cocaine is like, and it's kind of like Adderall. You're just up a little bit.
Starting point is 02:07:30 Cocaine is weak sauce. Okay. Really? What's the one that makes every raindrop on the car seem like a thing of me? Heroin. So that would be his Oxy test, or his morphine test, I guess. Okay.
Starting point is 02:07:43 Again, I think when people take it the first time, they're not like, oh my God, I am just like in a different mind space. It's more like, oh, you know, I just am feeling pleasant, feeling uplifted. And it's surprising to me. I thought more drugs were more dramatic. Yeah. Well, I would imagine like you 're muted kyle if i were in a place where like all of these were legal um i wouldn't fuck with
Starting point is 02:08:12 heroin or under any circumstances it just seems like it's so good that you'd be like this is better than normal life it seems to ruin everybody's life i you've never heard of anyone who was like wasn't for me i dabble in heroin abuse uh everyone who's ever done heroin you know like everyone who's ever done it is like it's the best thing it's the bees knees you know like so so i wouldn't even want to dabble in something that's so incredibly addictive and apparently so fucking wonderful. But like if all of these were legal, MDMA sounds like just a blast, you know, just stay hydrated. I think I've been prescribed like benzos before. That's fine.
Starting point is 02:08:57 Like muscle relaxers. Yeah. Yeah. I've been prescribed stuff like that. Very dangerous. I've been prescribed the codeine, right? So that's definitely in one of these families, probably in the... The oxy family, right? Yeah. Or the morphine family. I don't really know. I'm not much of an expert on that sort of thing.
Starting point is 02:09:19 And then obviously amphetamines, I've been prescribed that. And I really, really like those. If you've got shit to do, oh my God. They really are wondrous. They really are wondrous. I started taking a new drug and it's hard to give a report to it because I started yesterday. It's so new. What is it called? Modifinol?
Starting point is 02:09:41 Now I'm on Taylor's camera. It's freaking me out. Do you know the name of this thing you know i saw you write it and it's not something i'm familiar with uh it's for narcolepsy according to chis yes modifinol or something like that if i but i'm just going off of like what you wrote and like i spelled it right modifinol sounds right modifinol m-o-d-a-f-i-n-i-l okay um anyway right? Moda final M O D A F I N I L. Okay. Um, anyway, apparently it is like a safer version of Adderall. I'm not your doctor out there listeners.
Starting point is 02:10:11 I don't know. But, uh, because the government is classified marijuana. So incorrectly, I don't know how seriously to take their classifications, but it's classified as like a lower tier than Adderall is. Um, but it is a prescription thing and it's given out to people with sleep apnea a lot. My sleep hygiene has been garbage for the last two or three weeks. And part of it is my fault. Part of it is like,
Starting point is 02:10:38 I should have more disciplined, turned off the screens, gone to bed. Maybe sometimes I'll like finish working out, having food or whatever and around 6 p.m. I'm not busy and I might nap and that screws up your sleep schedule. Now I'm going to be up till three. So part of it's my fault and I own that. Part of it is I'm just a little screwed. You know, I might not sleep the night
Starting point is 02:11:00 because of the sleep apnea thing. Like it doesn't, I don't, even if I do everything right, I don't fix it in one day like maybe a normal person would and uh they gave this to me and oh my gosh just all day i am fine like alert and okay i uh i don't know i i had a really productive day today you know i hit the gym i fixed three things on my motorcycle i got some practice in i like that's a good day for me i use these the military use these they're called go pills they've replaced something else to be the go they replaced uh dexamphetamine uh which is a component of adderall uh with these okay yeah so apparently it's like a safer go pill and uh i'm digging it and it's like a low chance of addiction and i don't know does it increase your heart rate i don't know it probably does that's
Starting point is 02:11:53 good it's a calorie burner you're cutting weight it's good nice always happy to cut weight yeah i mean like think about you know if you're if you're resting heart rate 70 and this makes it 77 aren't you burning 10 more calories throughout the day like if you're, if you're resting heart rate 70 and this makes it 77, aren't you burning 10% more calories throughout the day? Like if you're, if your maintenance is 2000, isn't it now 2190 or something like that? 2200. Sounds right to me. So, uh, so yeah, I don't know. I, uh, I'm so new on it. I feel like I can't tell people what it's like. It's been, this is day two, help people what it's like. It's been, this is day two, but every day, you take it. No, I decided to take it two days in a row, but I decide every day, if that makes sense, you know, that's smart. Yeah. I was listening to a guy recently, um, do a podcast with, uh, Derek for more plates, more dates. And he was talking about the most efficacious way to use Adderall.
Starting point is 02:12:47 And he's just like, three or four days a week. You've got to take. And they were like, so every other day? He's like, no. Three or four days in a row and then three or four days off. That's the way to get all the while like having as few side effects and, and, and like not mess up your dopamine, uh, receptors and stuff like that. Like, like, like let's not ruin your brain chemistry while at the same time, let's reap
Starting point is 02:13:14 the benefits of this drug. And he described like, um, all of the accomplishments that, that, that he, uh, has done, um, you know, from the Adderall. And it's one of those things. It was like i i i was sending you guys like um my lawyers like acumen like like it like the stuff he's done is like you know leader of the blah blah blah and first in the world to do this and that and princeton harvard yale not a lot he like he tacks off a list like that he's like i couldn't even sit through math
Starting point is 02:13:41 in high school but i i was the number one mathematician at NYU. And is this like, wait, you couldn't figure out algebra in high school and you became a mathematician. It was, it was shit like that, you know, from,
Starting point is 02:13:54 from, from his Adderall use. But, but yeah, that sounds good. I'm glad you got something. Is it helping with the sleep or is it too early to say? I would say it's too early to say last night i was dumb and i like powered my way
Starting point is 02:14:06 till 3 a.m just researching motorcycle trip stuff and uh i'm like you're just making bad decisions what do you but uh have you ever used valerian tea no i don't maybe you've told me about it before so valerian root tea um i got this from the Sopranos, but I did some research and it's pretty accurate. Like there's a part where Christopher has this fucking dope addict girlfriend and they're talking about taking like a lot of valerian root tea bags and putting them in a tea. And she's like, it's equal to a volume if you do like eight or 10 of them. Like, and like I had a girlfriend who always took Valerian root before she went to bed.
Starting point is 02:14:48 She just took like a supplement and it always helped her. And I would take them to sometimes. And it always gave me like restful sleep. It's one of those herbal, like no side effect, frou, frou, hippie kind of things.
Starting point is 02:15:00 It's not an inability to fall asleep sometimes. Like I, I described it as i powered my way to three i wanted to sleep it on time which for me is like midnight ish but um i don't know it's kind of nice when i'm alone no one wants any piece of my time this is when i get to do whatever i want i'm interruption free it's that like block of time that i wanted even though i know it's bad for me. And that's what happened. I didn't mention it before. I was kind of embarrassed,
Starting point is 02:15:30 but on Monday when I was driving home from the COVID shot. I don't know, six, five seconds, I fell asleep driving and I woke up on the, you know, the safety strips there on the side. I woke up on the, you know, the safety strips there on the side. Yeah. And you've maybe hit them through inattention before, perhaps. Sure. Everyone has. But I was like, I was asleep. I was asleep.
Starting point is 02:15:55 I've done that. Yeah. When I was commuting back and forth from Franklin County to Alpharetta, Georgia, that like four hour drive every morning. And then at night, same thing. I was getting like five hours of sleep for like a month straight and working 12 hour days and then driving six to eight hours a day. And it was just like, there's just enough time to shower, go to sleep, shower, go to work to work and like i did that for like 40 days or something like that and toward the end of it i'd be driving and i'd just be like literally i'd smack myself in the face like like hard like i'd be like i can't hit myself hard enough anymore like
Starting point is 02:16:39 like like to keep myself awake and i and i would I would fall asleep and it felt so good. Yeah. It felt so good. It felt so good to like, let yourself like get like, like let your head fall and let your eyes rest for, for a moment. Cause you just, that drive was just so monotonous, you know, it would, it was very dangerous. And occasionally I would just fall asleep and I, and I would, I would tell myself, I'm like, wow, if traffic's light, we'll get there 30 minutes early and we can sleep in the parking lot for a little while. But I'd get there and I couldn't, and then I couldn't sleep in the car. I'd be, this is such bullshit. I'm here. I'm it's the doors aren't even open. No, I'm the only one in the parking lot and I can't even fall asleep. Like it was so awful. I didn't follow it first. I thought
Starting point is 02:17:25 circumstances stopped. No, you were just unable to fall asleep, even though you could have easily fallen asleep while you shouldn't have. Oh, Oh, I was just, I was falling asleep while driving like three or four times at a, during the, you know, commute to work and like, like, like, you know, not for like long periods of time for seconds at a time for like one second or two and a half seconds or something like that. But I would wake up and my heart would just terror, you know, Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh, don't fall asleep. Don't fall asleep. And I would consider even just micro dosing sleep. Yeah. And I would consider pulling over and just like, maybe I just call in and say, I'm going to be an hour late. Maybe I,
Starting point is 02:18:03 maybe I just need to take a nap here on the side of the road and i tried that once couldn't fall asleep it's like all right back on the fucking road and it was awful you know i was 17 i fell asleep flipped the car broke my arm stuff like that that is exactly how that went down i pulled over tried to sleep couldn't sleep brilliant 17 year old me deduced that I wouldn't sleep, right? If I'm trying to sleep and it's not happening, then clearly I'm not going to fall asleep. And 10 minutes later I almost died.
Starting point is 02:18:33 Well, I hope that helps. Because you certainly don't want to be doing your motorcycle trip and having... I don't even know. Is falling asleep while riding a motorcycle a thing? Does that happen to people? I would guess yes. You would hope not. I mean if it ever does happen you don't know that's the reason why they're dead.
Starting point is 02:18:51 True yeah because they will not tell you this story afterwards. You don't get a second of free time like in a car. I imagine you fall asleep on a bike and you're checking out today. Could be. You're losing balance and landing on your head. falling asleep on a bike and you're just you're checking out today like sorry could be could be
Starting point is 02:19:06 you're losing balance and landing on your head that yeah yeah skidding on a meat crayon oh but i asked my probation officer i was like uh you know like i know that once i've served half my probation i can appeal to like get out of this thing early. I was like, is that something you would support if they asked you? And he's like, Oh yeah, absolutely. So that's good news too. So like if they,
Starting point is 02:19:30 if they were to ask him his opinion, he's a, he's a hundred percent in favor of releasing me early. Now that I've done whatever it is, three quarters of my probation. Yeah. It's getting close. How many days?
Starting point is 02:19:42 I'm close. Let's check the old timer. 196. I'm'm gonna say 104 it's way more than 104 i know it days two hours 32 minutes 12 seconds now i'm curious about the end date is will it end when you just pass a certain time of day on the calendar or does it or after that paperwork needs to be filed and someone needs to stamp something. My understanding is it's the former. I think what I'll do, obviously, is let's say I have to do the full bit. I'll call him a week before and I'll confirm all this.
Starting point is 02:20:41 I'll be like, hey, the 4th is my last day, right? And he'll be like, yeah, yeah, the 4th is the last day. Is there any paperwork for me to do? I'm pretty sure the answer is nope. On the third, when midnight rolls over, do as you wish. And I'm pretty sure that's the deal. And so literally what I'm going to do is be at the airport. You're going to be like Fred Flintstone leaving work. Fucking bird, screaming the steam and everything, just beating feet.
Starting point is 02:21:10 I'll be at the airport at 11, you know, 11 PM, you know, on the third. And I'll be, I'll be ready to board a flight on the fourth and get the fuck out. Or I'll be like, like, like whatever I decide to do you know maybe I'm in my car with all my shit in a U-Haul and everything like just driving across the country or whatever I'll be leaving the state
Starting point is 02:21:36 the moment I'm allowed to leave there won't be like a day that like passes where I'm just like maybe I'll go tomorrow no No, I'll be packed up and ready to go. Unless it happens very suddenly. Unless it happens very suddenly, which would be so sick. It'd be so sick.
Starting point is 02:21:54 Oh, you can't. You're going around packing your house and you're like, I'll just buy new stuff. I'll just buy new stuff. I could get my bags packed in 20 minutes. guarantee it like i i i i would just grab shit throw it in the bag grab this whole setup that's not true your tv is too big to fit in oh i don't mean my belongings i mean just for like a trip oh okay okay yeah yeah so like move move it's gonna take at least one full day to get everything. Cause I've got,
Starting point is 02:22:26 I gotta get, I got a good amount of stuff. Yeah. Like it's not, it's not crazy. Like I don't, I, but, but I've got a four bedroom here and my guest bedroom is like full of stuff. My other guest bedroom has some stuff in it. This bedroom has stuff in it. I've got a full living room set, you know, fours or something like that yeah normal house things yeah i've got i've got the things people have in houses yeah you know i'm all i've also uh i've got furniture oh do you have cups and glasses you guys are such pranks spoons enough for multiple people holy shit you know what we got today yeah fork stuff our coffee makers installed we finally i i had in a way jackie's made me two cups since it's been
Starting point is 02:23:13 installed coffee maker i'm not aware it is really not that fancy here's the long story it's it's plumbed right so it goes into like our reverse osmosis filter. We never have to fill the coffee maker reservoir ever again. That's why it's cool. It's just a Keurig. So the scoop is Jackie, we're 48 now, not super young, and her hands aged early. That's just what's up. something about the reservoir like the weight of it sort of aligning it with her fingers in an awkward angle it sucked for her and uh it was like all right we're gonna get a coffee maker that doesn't require that so we did mine is uh mine's right next to my sink so i take that little you know the little hose that the sink that just oh yeah yeah i i use that and i fill it up with that thing we have to carry ours across the kitchen
Starting point is 02:24:10 which you know is not that big a hardship but not as cool as a plumbed coffee maker yeah oh i like that a lot i um i've got one of those brita uh filters on my faucet um one of the ones where you know it'll you can just run the tap like normal or you can flick the little switch on the side. You can get purified water if you're drinking or making tea or something. It exploded last week.
Starting point is 02:24:36 I don't use the word exploded lightly. I turned on the water and it went and fucking shattered and high pressure water went every fucking where and like pieces of it flew across the goddamn room it was absurd like my and i was like dressed to go out to like i i was just like oh let me get a little water before i go and i'm like i'm dressed up i've got like a button-up shirt i've've got my slacks on, and it just soaks me down the front.
Starting point is 02:25:06 And I'm just like... Looks like you... We'll be a little late, I guess. All right. It'll dry by the time I get there, probably. Sitting in wet pants. Have you ever been at work or somewhere like that and really spilled on yourself, like spaghetti down the front of your dress shirt at work or something?
Starting point is 02:25:34 I don't think I've ever had a really bad spill, but I remember once I was working at the rental car place at the airport, and they were like, someone needs to go wash cars and i was always like or at this point i was like so over it i was like boom me do i don't know i can't deal with these fucking people anymore i'll go wash cars and uh i got down there again i thought it was like oh i'm gonna get to wash cars the rest of my like four hour shift and so i'm like getting real sweaty down there doing it it's way better than talking to people i have like earbuds in not dealing with anything it's great and then they're like, we're getting hammered up here. We need you to come back. And I'm like soaked in sweat. I've like taken my, my dress shirt off. I'm no longer dressed like for work. I've got like a t-shirt on. I think I even went out to my,
Starting point is 02:26:16 my car and put on like a sweatpants. And then I had to go back in and like kept doing, and I didn't switch back because it was like, if you know, if you need me that there was no like serious manager there, but yeah, no, I've never had a, a bad spill. I'm pretty good about eating. Well,
Starting point is 02:26:32 not the amounts or the frequency, but I'll say this. I, I, I, my mouth and my food. I don't miss, I don't miss a hundred percent accuracy.
Starting point is 02:26:44 I every morsel. I bite my lips. I don't miss. 100% accuracy. Every morsel. I bite my lips. I bite my fork. I'm a freaking eating moron. Now I have this new thing where I have these braces. So my teeth are a little different every week. And I have like brackets coming out.
Starting point is 02:27:02 They're clear. You can't really see them, but they do exist. And they're just like traps to, you know, clamp down on my gums. I occasionally bite the inside of my mouth so severely that I cry. Like, like, like I, like I,
Starting point is 02:27:19 I've been like eating popcorn or something and bitten it and like screamed out loud like and like felt and like yep there's blood there's blood we really got ourselves and and so that makes you know that makes that little part of the inside of your cheeks swell up so then i'm like all right the pain has subsided we can go back to eating popcorn. And then you bite it again. Yeah. And now it's just in the way. Now it's a little... There's a little knot in there. Like it's all swollen up.
Starting point is 02:27:52 And so now I have to eat like super carefully. I'm like eating consomme for like a week to like make sure I don't fuck up again. Dude, I relate to every word of this. Have you done that with tortilla chips? Where you cut yourself? I did that at a restaurant like maybe a month ago. I was like
Starting point is 02:28:11 eating the tortilla chips and like someone who's never had one, I like took a bite and then like one piece just perfectly went vertical in between bites, you know? And so it like stabbed up into the roof of my mouth and I you know, I didn't break down weeping but I went, oh! And I was like at a restaurant and so it like stabbed up into the roof of my mouth and i uh you know i didn't break down weeping but i went oh and i was like at a restaurant and so i was like man that was
Starting point is 02:28:30 i don't i taste iron and then i like the next morning i woke up i'm like i didn't even eat hot pizza the last night oh the fucking chip it just cut a big i could feel it in the top. It was, you know, I was just too excited for the queso, I think. Too excited? I can relate to that, too. Oh, I love, like, I get so much more eager when the lady at the Mexican place brings out the queso dip than when she brings out my entree. Like, if they could just bring me, like, a salad bowl of that. A salad bowl of that and salad infinite chips that would be that would be great what's uh cecil what's your like uh go-to food when you're being
Starting point is 02:29:14 when you're being naughty i can't tell if you're a very hot guy or someone who loves their food no um i i used well i used to really love hot wings like that was kind of my like oh my god i need hot wings but um i kind of slowed down on them uh because they're not exactly the best thing for you so um i really can't even remember the last time I had them. I actually recently went vegetarian, which I just gastro problems, uh, that seemingly, uh, that made really made a lot more sense to go that direction. Like I'm not one of those people that God, I'd never go vegan, but, um, I'm not one of those people that would begrudge people. You need to eat this because no, it's just, this is what I'm eating. And I, you know, it's really, what's good. What's good for me. Um, but, uh, I'm kind of learning new things to enjoy and it's going to be interesting. It's, it's not going to be, uh,
Starting point is 02:30:34 it's not going to be easy, but, um, cause I, I do love ribs and, uh, a lot of that stuff. But, uh, this, this past year, um, everybody's kind of been cooped up and uh i think maybe i wasn't as like i'm not uh if i i this is a matter of not me being on camera i just don't have a webcam but uh i was i was in uh two documentaries so i have a lot of fans who they're like oh i always wanted to know what you look like and i got your documentary and now i know what you look like so if anybody's seen my documentary you know that i'm not a big dude i just uh you know i don't really go on camera because i have a background in radio and i'm more comfortable being behind a microphone than in front of a camera so um so anyway so just basically saying that uh i i'm not i don't know what i'm
Starting point is 02:31:26 i don't know what i'm getting at i like all kinds of i like all kinds of food and uh but i recently went vegetarian and i'm pretty happy with it so far and uh you're gonna treat yourself to some meat occasionally oh yeah well i'm kind of most likely going to do like the because arnold schwarzenegger right now is a vegetarian and he's doing like the 90, 10. So he's doing 90% vegetarian, 10% meat eater. So, uh, I'm looking into doing something along those lines where every now and then, eh, I might have a hamburger. Eh, I'll have a steak or something. And I, I know that there might be a little bit of pushback. You know,
Starting point is 02:32:07 my stomach will be like, what are you doing? But I guess it all comes down to how, like if I eat it and it really makes me feel like shit, then that will remind me, okay, you know what? Do you really want this?
Starting point is 02:32:21 And I had a girlfriend that was a vegetarian for gastrointestinal reasons she just couldn't process meats it was just a problem it would make her really violently ill and uh but like maybe once every two months or so she'd be like let's get some zaxby's chicken fingers like she'd get like three chicken fingers and she'd just be like, oh God, this is so much better than quinoa and firky. Bullshit. Yeah, like faux turkey or faux chicken, like all those fake meat patties, black bean burgers. And when she would cook, that's what we would eat. burgers and like you know when she would cook that's what we would eat so i don't i can't tell you how much like fake meat and quinoa i had to choke down over the over the years it was
Starting point is 02:33:11 it was not awful but it was still like man some meat would be good oh for sure so are you gonna cecil are you are you finding because i know a lot of people who go vegetarian are you finding because I know a lot of people who go vegetarian they're just they fall into a rut of like eating like well I eat broccoli and I eat asparagus and I eat a salad and then cheese and eggs and it's
Starting point is 02:33:34 like and that's what I eat have you like experimented cooking a lot more stuff expanding your horizons like how long I should ask how long have you been doing it first it's been about a month so it hasn't really been too long like I'm not sick of anything yet which is good uh i'd be really upset if after a month i'm like ugh but um um i'm also a pretty good cook so experimenting with like new ideas and new recipes and stuff uh it hasn't been too terrible um i'm at the point now where I'm not really disgusted with things I hope that I can kind of keep that going
Starting point is 02:34:08 because there's a lot of recipes and things that I've never tried before some things though I try and I'm just like no I don't like this at all there's been a couple of recipes where like tonight we had like a instead of a basil pesto it was an arugula pesto. And I'm like, OK, yeah, this kind of sucks. But it's so much more bitter than basil. But it was like that.
Starting point is 02:34:36 It's just a matter of trying to find something that that is good. good but the thing is my gastro had gotten to the point where it was like physically making me incredibly sick and i was just miserable for days and the thing too is largely my job consists of my voice and it was messing up my voice um i also stream on twitch and there were a lot of my fans that were listening and my voice was cracking like numerous times a night. And at the time I didn't know what the hell was going on. I was going to different specialists and doctors and everything. And they were trying to figure out what the hell was going on. And they finally nailed it down to it was gastro problems. And if I have to go vegetarian and if that's going to make me not feel like complete garbage and not ruin my voice well I'll suffer
Starting point is 02:35:31 you know whatever and honestly the the food isn't so bad versus how bad I felt so even though it's only been a month, I already feel better. So that to me is like, all right, I'm definitely going in a good direction here. If I can sleep at night, if I can go through a day without constantly burping and having my voice crack, that's a good thing. Yeah. Yeah, that makes sense. I would do that. I could do the vegetarian thing. I wouldn't want to do it long term.
Starting point is 02:36:05 I really like beef and chicken. Yeah, meat tastes so good and chicken yeah meat tastes so good yeah meat so I do too but like I could I could definitely do it for like I could do the 90 10 thing I think like especially if I can still eat eggs and I want to say fish and seafood but that's a pescatarian so that's not not exactly that's a little that's kind of cheating. If I can have fish, I can really make the switch. If you're doing a 90-10 and a bunch of fish, isn't that just like eating healthy? Yeah, essentially at that point, right?
Starting point is 02:36:35 Because if I can have 80-20 with some fish. If I can have some salmon and some tilapia and some shrimp, it's like, the fuck? We're a meat eater still you know it's it's fine but but even if it was just eggs and dairy like that's the point where like it just seems impossible it's it's like how do you even go somewhere and order something if you can't have anything dairy or anything with uh eggs in there because like but those are like the bases of so many foods yeah you know you can't oh oh well first of all anything with sauce i need it without the sauce because that's got eggs in it or whatever
Starting point is 02:37:11 like going to any restaurant would be a pain in the fucking ass yeah yeah you'd have to go to a special restaurant vegetarian um unless i'm completely wrong on this, but vegetarian will allow you eggs and milk because you're not killing the animal to get them. Yeah, exactly. I'm really talking about being vegan. Vegan is when it's just, yeah, vegan is no way, especially because I briefly dated a vegan and I was hanging out with her one day and she's like,
Starting point is 02:37:45 here, have a not dog. And she's like shoving it into my mouth. And I'm like, Oh God, like this is the worst. I'd rather just eat dirt. Yeah.
Starting point is 02:37:53 For you. Yeah, exactly. No, there are microorganisms in the dirt. You can't eat that. Do you know how many, how many little bunnies are killed by threshers in those fields?
Starting point is 02:38:03 Every time they're harvesting, we should eat the bunnies out of respect. Yes. Out of respect for their life force. So have you tried any of the tofurkey fake meats? Found anything good there yet or not really venturing out? The only thing, like I've had black bean burgers, but I had that before I even went vegetarian. They were actually they're really good.
Starting point is 02:38:27 You know, I mean, they're not a burger, but they're pretty good. Yeah. I've had the beyond meat burgers. Yep. And they're they're pretty good. I mean, again, not as good as a hamburger, but, you know, not something i would have all the time but sometime if i really wanted a hamburger and for whatever reason i couldn't have meat uh i would probably go there um but then i've had some wacky stuff uh i had a general so's cauliflower i was like oh this is gonna be good and i'm like it just tastes like cauliflower with hot sauce on it um uh i've had uh satan uh i had a a ruben that was made out of satan uh instead of
Starting point is 02:39:09 uh the whatever the meat that they put in rubens and that i was surprised at how good that was yeah i don't know satan is some kind of soybean um not a big soy eater but that was one of those things where i'm like okay you know what that looks pretty good let me try it and it was like legit good um i think that's probably the best thing that i had as far as and that was actually a vegan thing that wasn't a vegetarian thing but again i i wouldn't be able to go like full-on vegan the main protein found in wheat yeah it's it's it's just wheat gluten yeah oh okay weird yeah i mean it's yeah whatever they did whatever they did to it they marinated the hell of it they put russian dressing on it and and i thought it was delicious i'm looking at like some dishes with it and like it appears that they can create the consistency of like
Starting point is 02:40:02 various meats with it and it looks like meat um i'll say that for it that's cool it does it does fool you i mean i would think it's that is one of those things where if somebody gave you a reuben made with satan uh you most people would not be able to tell uh if it was done well enough um but there's a lot of things where they're like, oh, this tastes just like it. And you're like, no, it totally doesn't. Right. Cauliflower or anything. It's like, look, I get it.
Starting point is 02:40:30 You've managed to make cauliflower into the shape of rice or something else. But it tastes just like cauliflower. Yeah. And you put a pile of cauliflower rice on your plate. It wants to return to its original form. You put a bunch of rice on a plate leave for an hour come back oh that's rice yeah this like it's just a cake now it's just a pad it's like you're buying some sort of voltron cauliflower over there where they assemble let me send you my mashed potato recipe because you're gonna be blown away it's like the different
Starting point is 02:41:02 dots of cauliflower when i made valentine's day dinner for uh my lady friend uh i was i was like let me know what you think about these mashed potatoes and she was like they're the best mashed potatoes i've ever had and she wasn't bullshitting me like like of course not like no i'm serious like like since then she's like been bugging me she's like oh the yankees i love the yankees too we share all the same interests tell me more about tiger Woods, their best player. This is the exception to that rule. When I cooked Wings of Redemption food, I was like, what do you think about these stuffed bell peppers?
Starting point is 02:41:35 It's the best food I've ever had. This was a rare instance of him being polite, clearly. And he was very hungry. But in this situation, it's like she's been bugging me for the recipe since then like like two or three times she's like she's like how does this work um but i took uh i took riced cauliflower and i uh i sauteed it uh with uh chicken stock and uh and i cooked out most of that cauliflower fucking taste right there like let's get let's make this not taste like what it is and then um i added greek yogurt and i've got a um a uh
Starting point is 02:42:14 immersion blender yes you nailed it immersion blender yeah you got that from this i love that you got that yeah i used an immersion blender immersion blender with Greek yogurt. I blended it. And to try to give it the consistency of mashed potatoes, I cheated. And I took half a potato and I boiled it and I threw that. Now, just stick with me. Taylor's like, well, if you cheated, you made mashed potatoes. No. Don't forget my point because you know it's right.
Starting point is 02:42:41 There's half a potato in in a big bag of cauliflower. There's just a little bit. Just a little bit of potato. Part of you knew that it couldn't compete on the level of playing field. So you had to dice a little bit of PEDs in there. I put some PEDs in there. You're dancing the dish. The cauliflower needed a little juice.
Starting point is 02:43:02 All right? The cauliflower needed a little juice. All right? And when I was done, though, it was Greek yogurt and like a 70-30 cauliflower to potato mixture. And it was fucking delicious. It tasted just like mashed potatoes. It's as good as regular mashed potatoes. It was 95% as good as mashed potatoes. Sometimes these things fuck.
Starting point is 02:43:22 Do you remember during the Hangout, Jackie brought me carrot sticks and onion dip i did onion dip look just like onion dip it was like yogurt with not yogurt what is it would you just say greek something greek yogurt it is yogurt yeah greek yogurt with onion powder in it or something i had a couple dips and I'm like, this is not onion dip at all. It's the same color and shape as onion dip. I'll just eat the carrots. Totally what I did. Yeah. A lot of those like faux foods, like you've said before.
Starting point is 02:43:57 Yeah. I've said like, you know, it's 80% is good. Only 20% as many calories. But there's some of them where it's like rice cakes, where it's like, what i doing like this is not even that good for you they're 35 calories that bread that i sent you is the same amount of calories and it's bread and it has four grams of protein in it i do eat rice cakes sometimes they're minor 50 calories they're rice rollers they're minor 50 calories. They're rice rollers. They're on Amazon. Yeah. And, uh, they kind of satisfy a sweet tooth. Like there it's like apple PB two on there.
Starting point is 02:44:29 No, it's coated with like apple caramel, probably fake sugar. Okay. And, uh, it's a snack. It's 50 calories.
Starting point is 02:44:37 If you have it, you can have a sweet thing if you want it. They're terrible. Awful. Like you have not had them. No, no, no.
Starting point is 02:44:44 I'm talking about the rice cakes i've had the oh the rice cakes i just like lightly salted rice cakes like that's what they'll be serving at the whole foods run gulag i it took me a long time to put together the rice cakes are just rice like i know it seems obvious to everybody else but i was like rice cakes are like totally healthy they're like super over the top what you eat if you're on a crash diet, rice cakes. It's carbs. It's literally fucking rice. It's not a lot of it.
Starting point is 02:45:11 It's all puffed up. But you're having rice in cake form. Usually every time I've seen it promoted as a diet food, it's been more not from what I've seen. I've never seen it like this is really good for you. I've seen like, if you need a full stomach feeling, you pile like three of those twice as large as a hockey puck things in your stomach. I don't even think it's good at that. No, it still isn't. You know what is good? All right.
Starting point is 02:45:37 So let's say you take three of them. It's 150 calories, right? Yeah. That's a serving of oatmeal. Like you could make a bowl of fucking oatmeal for the same thing. And it's oatmeal. So filling. It's like putting fucking cement in your stomach.
Starting point is 02:45:51 It's just like, well, that ain't going nowhere. I would hit your stomach like flame retardant foam. And you're like, all right, I'm good for the day. Yeah.
Starting point is 02:46:00 Yeah. There's no more filling meal than like a thick bowl of oatmeal. I hate rice cakes um i haven't eaten a rice cake since i was a kid and they were just happened to be some of the cupboard and i was like oh a snack and it's like nope false like you can't put enough frosting on this thing to make it good mom you bought one of the back they forgot some of the ingredients you could put cake frosting on that thing and it still wouldn't be very good no you have to put it under a ribeye yeah the last time i tried rice cakes i got one and it was like, it was like cheddar cheese rice cakes. I opened the bag. They smelled like feet.
Starting point is 02:46:47 I immediately threw it in the garbage. I'm like, I'm not even, no, just this sucks. Not even going to give it a go. Yeah. I'm not going to try this.
Starting point is 02:46:56 Yeah. I mean, if that like, like one of my favorite snacks, like always has been peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. Like that's what I'm vaping right now. This is peanut butter and jelly. Like it's, it's one of my favorite flavors and, uh, shit, you can get like PB two or, or, uh, or one of those powdered peanut butters. To me, it's just
Starting point is 02:47:14 as good as peanut butter. It's not 80% as good. It's like 99% as good if you mix it just right. And, uh, and sugar-free jam and preserves, that shit tastes just as good to me too. Like you can have a peanut butter and jelly sandwich that's got 150 calories total. I'd much rather have that than three naked rice cakes. That's true, yeah. A PB Fit or PB2, whichever one. It's just not – I don't think's it's i think it's closer to 50 as good as when you mix it is it the consistency of peanut butter when you're done or is it watery
Starting point is 02:47:51 it's like it's like peanut butter is that not right yeah it should be like like i use i use milk to to mix it instead of water or syrup i think i'm just gonna buy the regular peanut butter is that even less calories with milk yeah yeah well i mean it's cashew milk it's 25 calories for eight ounces okay yeah i hadn't even heard of cashew milk i thought i was doing well with my is it almond milk i think is it yeah that's 40 calories or 35 calories he found waterier milk but it comes with vanilla flavored you can get vanilla cashew milk it's 25 calories for eight ounces cashews are just nuts that heard a rumor about milk they're not i don't even want like like i'll make i'll pour a full glass of it and i'll drink it and i'll be
Starting point is 02:48:37 like god that was good you know what two glasses can. Can I scare it? It's so fucking good. If I had the choice right now between whole milk. This is hard to believe. I swear to God. It's so tasty to me. The vanilla kind. Not the plain. The vanilla cashew nut. Is it at Whole Foods?
Starting point is 02:49:00 I go to either Publix or Sprouts or Ingles or Kroger. Those are my options in Atlanta. Does it taste the same as vanilla almond milk? To me, it tastes better. Because I like vanilla almond milk. That's pretty good stuff.
Starting point is 02:49:16 To me, it tastes better than any milk that I've ever had in my life. I would rather have that vanilla cashew milk than the fanciest of whole cow milk that's like 120 calories for eight ounces. I don't know about that, but it does make sense what you're saying because cashews are like the premium nut. The macadamia nut is the premium nut. No, they're not nearly as expensive. It's the king of the nuts. No, cashews blow the pants off a macadamia nut.
Starting point is 02:49:43 Then why are they so much more expensive Because of a lack of demand There you go Fair enough That's how that works I guess No that's just delicious to me I use that to like mix my Peanut butter powder
Starting point is 02:50:02 And I'm licking the spoon It's so fucking delicious to me I also add salt to it to mix my peanut butter powder. And I'm licking the spoon. It's so fucking delicious to me. I also add salt to it. I add a sprinkle of salt to the PB powder and maybe a little bit of sweetener too. By the time you're done, it tastes like Jiffy or something. It tastes like one of the least healthy peanut butters,
Starting point is 02:50:19 like the best peanut butter you've ever had. It's fucking delicious. I need to try the little additions you're doing because I bet that takes it to the next level. A little bit of salt. I'm searching for Kyle's milk. There are so many things that milk comes from.
Starting point is 02:50:35 I do oat milk. I've done that too. You can get milk from oats. You can get oat milk. That's my personal favorite. our lord and savior so many things on this planet to milk and you're getting it from oats can you milk a cat yeah you can you can milk anything with anything with nipples yeah that that's the exact stuff right
Starting point is 02:50:57 there i fucking love it like it's one of my like like i'll i'll just be i really want to go in the kitchen right now and like get a glass of it it's it's so i'm thinking about it now it's so fucking tasty creamy cashew milk it's so fucking good what does that say made with creamy cashews made with creamy cashews fucking delicious man creamy cashews milk made with creamy cashew checks out milk made with creamy cashew. Checks out. Checks out. FDA insured that and it was made of
Starting point is 02:51:30 indeed creamy cashew. They sell it at Amazon. I bet. You don't have to make it into the planter's container. They go to the Silk Corporation. Probably. That's how baby carrots become baby carrots. It's cheaper at Amazon.
Starting point is 02:51:44 They're whole carrots that were an abomination and nobody would have bought them so they just shave them down into those little baby nubs and put them in a bag. Of course it's delicious. I've had the oat milk. I've had the cashew or the almond milk and obviously
Starting point is 02:51:59 I've had cow milk. That's my favorite. The cashew milk. It's fucking delicious. I put it in the Amazon card. I will at some point have it. Yeah. Let me know what you think. I really dig it.
Starting point is 02:52:12 You can get hazelnut milk. Will they deliver it or you have to do the thing where you reach like a certain threshold and then they mail it all from like Trader Joe's or whatever? This is Amazon. You're asking me. They have free delivery. Okay. Amazon's really confusing for food.
Starting point is 02:52:30 There's Amazon. Yeah. Where you can sometimes buy like potato chips and things that hold up. There's Whole Foods and Amazon Fresh. That's it. Whole Foods. And they're different. I think one of them has a hundred dollar threshold for free delivery and the other is 35.
Starting point is 02:52:45 I think. And I think this is them has a $100 threshold for free delivery, and the other is $35, I think. And I think this is the $35 one. I don't know why Amazon has three stores. It should be seamless to me. I shouldn't have to know or care where it comes from. Work it out, Amazon. I want to get that. I'm going to see about that Amazon Pharmacy stuff,
Starting point is 02:53:03 because they're doing drugs now. Really? Oh, I remember reading about that, and then I hadn't heard about it since. Yeah, I got a little like pop up from Amazon today or yesterday. It was either in an email or even on the Amazon app. But I kind of glanced over it
Starting point is 02:53:16 and I was like, oh shit, get all my drugs from there. Amazon is going to take over everything. I got no problem with it. Everybody's like Jeff Bezos is a slave master. I'm no problem with it. Everybody's like, yeah, he's a slave master. I'm like fucking whip. I'm good.
Starting point is 02:53:28 Jeff, keep it coming. Yes. Prime names. Two days. I should be able to wake up confused about what day it is. Have my package arrive and figure it out. That's what,
Starting point is 02:53:40 that's what needs to happen. I missed the two day delivery. It's, it's true. It's true. But you know, they're making some good original programming to make up for it, I suppose. I don't need your excuses. I need your performance.
Starting point is 02:53:52 I agree. I agree. At this point, I just keep a steady stream of Impulse purchases coming. You're not alone. They're arriving every day. It's like, oh, I could use five new blazers. Sure. Yeah, I'm a businessman.
Starting point is 02:54:11 Well, how many times have I gone out in the last year? Well, that's COVID related. How many times have I gone out in the last two years? Well, that's... You guys are about to see me wearing a few blazers over the next couple of weeks because Kyle got a little ridiculous on amazon the other day and ordered a cool half dozen uh blazers they are uh archer and he wanted to have your own closet like that i i don't know what what i
Starting point is 02:54:38 watched but i was just like oh that blazer looks nice i can wear a graphic t under that that looks it that looks slick all right yeah give me half a dozen of them and uh so yeah they arrived uh yesterday and today and i went to the tailor today to have them all uh tailored up real nice and i'll have them next thursday i have been shopping non-stop for this motorcycle trip i have coming up all i do is lift weights and research motorcycle it's called farcle if you guys haven't heard of this term functional sparkle and uh i am farcling the fuck out of this motorcycle we gotta get some luggage attached on this thing we need usb charging for the gps we need gps mounts bigger foot pegs i bought a sheepskin for my seat so i can look like mad max would look like it's gonna be fucking awesome uh
Starting point is 02:55:32 and i'm looking at my amazon cart okay there's trouble in there oh god i ordered so some of this i needed right i got my nasal spray i got some like got some like Zycam anti-congestant spray. Sometimes at night I have a hard time sleeping just because my nose is a little stuffy. This stuff makes it so easy to sleep. I fucking love it. I got my face wash. I got three different weird pairs of underwear I found that I thought looked cool. A t-shirt.
Starting point is 02:55:58 I got some wood glue so I could fix one of my kitchen drawers that broke the other day. I got a memory stick so I can take all the videos off my phone and stick them on there because I got a bunch of old. You got a plan for clamping that wood glue? It needs clamping pressure. I'm going to go to Home Depot. I was going to buy the clamp on here, but you have to buy a pair. And so I'm going to just go to Home Depot and get one clamp.
Starting point is 02:56:19 You're absolutely right. Saw it through? Okay. Yeah. I got a new leather jacket that came with the blazers. I may have spent an ungodly amount on this leather jacket. I hope you all like it. How much was it? Let us know. Come on, you're dodging it.
Starting point is 02:56:37 Tell the truth. I mean, you know, it's less than a thousand. Less than a thousand. It's like the Seinfeld. You say nothing, I don't think it's more than a thousand. You spent a thousand. It's like the Seinfeld. You say nothing, I don't think it's more than a thousand. You spend more than a thousand dollars on this jacket, Jimmy. It's cashmere. It's cashmere.
Starting point is 02:56:53 I got a fancy belt, t-shirt, then all my blazers. I got a couple of button-ups, some pizza crust. With the blazers. Yeah, more underwear underwear i have so much underwear now good god um let's see i got some hot cocoa i got some uh i had a pair of shoes that weren't fitting so i got these little slip-in things that go in the back of the heel
Starting point is 02:57:16 so they fit a little better socks t-shirt t-shirt uh epson salts more. How much underwear have I bought this month? This is like $80 worth of underwear. Four more t-shirts, uh, five, a polo, a hairdryer, some ginger garlic paste, some swad finno Greek,
Starting point is 02:57:36 which is this Indian fucking spice, some Indian red chili powder, double-sided tape, pants. You use a hairdryer? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. A lot of clothes.
Starting point is 02:57:47 A lot of clothes. Cereal, shampoo. My drinking straw in my water bottle was gross, I saw. So I got these little straw cleaning brushes to go under. Do they have any louder ones? I think it's, you know, I do do the best i can there's barely any ice in there i gotta keep it cold uh i got an air fryer i got some cereal um i got some lingerie that's not for me um you know some more face wash three more pairs i have so much underwear where
Starting point is 02:58:21 is it where even is it at this point what brands of underwear are you buying what what special brand all sorts of stuff man all sorts of stuff like like all sorts of like different stuff like like longer boxer briefs shorter boxer briefs different styles different like materials i never cared about underwear at all right like not like just same kind old whatever uh cecil doesn't know I recently started getting in shape lost 23 pounds something like that now that I look good for you I have a whole new vibe
Starting point is 02:58:53 you know what I need some smaller underwear this underwear is like boxers like down to my knees can't have that I'm not skipping leg day can we get something smaller? Underwear is more fun for me now. I got a lot of underwear in here.
Starting point is 02:59:11 What are these? These are called Dream Catchers. These are men's underwear boxer briefs, cotton boxer briefs, underwear, open fly, pack of five. They're called Dream Catcher. Does that not just spark thoughts of wet dream? Sure, catch it.
Starting point is 02:59:32 Okay. They look nice. They're actually diapers, but okay. You know. I mean, I thought there was going to be a fun pattern. I thought there'd be an elephant trunk. I just got the multi-pack. I must have spent $200 on underwear this month. Good God.
Starting point is 02:59:50 Well, now next month you don't have to spend anything. Fuck. I need to have to. None of these were have to purchases, Taylor. You need to uninstall Amazon on your phone. I need to uninstall it. Every now and then I do that, I'm like this app is just not healthy. I don't need this app in my life.
Starting point is 03:00:04 I feel like have to had nothing, this app is just not healthy. I don't need this app in my life. It's gotta go. I feel like Have To had nothing to do with most of these purchases. None of those purchases were really necessary. No. No. It was just like, ah, I want that. And all of that. And who? You know what would go with that other stuff I didn't need?
Starting point is 03:00:19 More underwear. More underwear. You like ordered some and then you pick a different brain. Like, well, that's not stupid. I'll like A, B, test them and see which one I'm going to go with in the future. Yeah, I went to the tailor and she's like, oh, you got so many suits. What, am I a fucking idiot? Do you want all six of these off Amazon?
Starting point is 03:00:42 I'm a businessman. I need eight suits. Oh, that's fine. I don't think I've owned eight suits in my life and I'm really old. Yeah. That is one of the nice things about being off camera. I just sit here in my pajamas
Starting point is 03:00:59 all day long. I think I have one suit and that's for weddings and funerals yeah that's the way i would prefer well i like wearing yeah i got one for every day of the week there you go and i don't know why cecil when obviously movies are a huge huge passion of yours uh what are some like what are your kind of go-to hobbies when you're i mean i guess for you because anything you turn into a turn into a job is a job. And so, like, when you're trying to get a break from all that, are you a video game guy, fitness guy? What do you kind of spend your time doing when you have your druthers? my number one go-to uh when i just need to like zone out and just not think about work and whatnot uh you know i got hit with like three copyright claims in a day and i'm just like i need to you know blow stuff up so i'll go and do that um and my other one uh i play the guitar uh very poorly
Starting point is 03:01:59 and but i'm trying to get better um i've been playing on and off for years, and I finally really said, all right, you know what? I am really going to learn how to play this year. So I've been doing that a lot more, and it's getting to the point of where it's starting to be fun again. Like, I'm starting to remember all the things that I had since forgotten
Starting point is 03:02:21 because I hadn't played in a few years. So, yeah, between video games and playing the guitar um because i i long long long time ago uh i was in a band and i sang but i always wanted to learn how to play i always want to learn how to play the guitar and i have a bunch of them and i mean i can kind of play but i'm not like really good i can play like you know i can play pearl jam and stuff and like but that's you really good I can play like you know I can play Pearl Jam and stuff and like but that's you know I want to play like Megadeth I want to play Opeth I want to play stuff like that so
Starting point is 03:02:51 that's the stuff that you really have to like learn how to play and not just learn how to play power chords so yeah between those two things you can see I dabble with the guitar as well it's on camera that's as well it's on the camera yes i see that i see his shoulder back there i keep thinking it's a beanbag
Starting point is 03:03:14 oh no that's him that's him i know yeah you can see the woody's old Yeah, I haven't gotten the new systems yet because why? Like there's nothing good on them and why are you going to rush out and buy the first Xbox, first PlayStation 5 when you'll have like one game to play on it and you'll end up just going back to the old systems anyway.
Starting point is 03:03:40 So yeah. So right now, pretty much I'm just playing stuff on the PC, uh, or I'm playing stuff on a PS4. What games are you playing? Um, on, uh, the PC, I, uh, I just finished a honey pop too, which, um, never heard of that. Oh God. It is, uh, it is a is a hentai dating game.
Starting point is 03:04:08 I guess it's really a piss. It's just wrong. It's called what? I'm sorry. Honey Pop 2. Double date. Honey Pop. Yeah.
Starting point is 03:04:21 Good God, man. What is this? Can adults play this game yeah oh it's so i'm looking at the cover art this appears to be a 12 year old girl making the cunniling cunnilingness i can't say the word cunnilingus yeah thing with her fingers and tongue uh clearly a lesbian porn scene about to take place well the whole the whole game you get to choose like do you want to be a girl do you want to be a boy and you basically go to this island named uh isle in a depuna and you haveuna, you have to get into, I think you need 20 threesomes in order to get, like every time you have a threesome, an angel gets its wings. them because there are two demons that are waking up after their thousand year slumber
Starting point is 03:05:25 and they're going to destroy the earth if you don't present them with the 20 wings and then have a threesome with them. And it's I mean, it's just stupid and fun and wrong. But I
Starting point is 03:05:42 had fun with it. But then to play something serious, I've been playing this on Twitch. No, you can't. Actually, it's banned. You can't play that on Twitch. Okay. Because there's like hardcore nudity in it. I've been playing Surviving the Aftermath,
Starting point is 03:05:59 which is a post-apocalyptic city builder. That's a lot of fun. It's very depressing, but in a good way. And then on PlayStation 4, my go-to is usually, I just played The Surge 1 and 2.
Starting point is 03:06:17 They're kind of like Dark Souls, but in a sci-fi universe. They're really fun. And yeah, they're kind of my go. I'm looking, I'm not sure what I'm going to play next because right now there's not really a whole lot out that's interesting to me. I'm teasing you about this game,
Starting point is 03:06:41 but really my attention is still stuck on it. I'm watching, I wanted to see what but really my attention is still stuck on it. And I just, I'm watching, I wanted to see like what this, what it's like, the nudity and everything. So I went on YouTube and put in honey pop to nudity. And there was one,
Starting point is 03:06:54 it says double date ending. It's like nine minutes. I just clicked through and it's like three alien women were like, you can see like pussy underneath their little thing. And like the little frozen bit of dialogue on the bottom. I don't know what the context is, but the middle woman of the three is saying think of all the pussy you've crushed to get here do it for them do it for the pussy
Starting point is 03:07:12 it's shit funny like the writing behind it is largely why it's so good because it's so like they know the kind of game that they're making and they just kind of went all in on it it's so good because it's so like they know the kind of game that they're making and they just kind of went all in on it it's just really silly and oh wow yeah it's looking at this thing that you do
Starting point is 03:07:37 it's on steam it has very good reviews. I'll bet. Yeah. And it's... Like, right now, they're kind of... I'm waiting for them to announce, like, a DLC or something for it because there were a lot of... There were a lot of women that were in the first game that didn't make it into the second game. And so a lot of people are like, hey, they're going to make it into the second one. And, yeah lot of people are like, hey, they're going to make it into the second one.
Starting point is 03:08:05 And yeah, it's a piss. Like it's just really stupid and fun. And I mean, it's a match. If you boil it down, it is a match three game and your reward is anime titties. And it's really all it is. It's's just funny my wife thinks it's hysterical because she's like she's like i hear this like laughing and she's like and i come in and it's you and i look and like it man that you must need to use your right arm a lot in that game
Starting point is 03:08:41 because you were using your left hand to click around well there there are uh not not that oh god what was the one there was some anime game on steam where they had like a one-armed mode and i'm like oh come on like they're not even you're not even being subtle about it it's gonna be funny they're like oh man we made this great game and then it's like everybody's buying this game and playing but nine minutes in they're logging off they're never gonna get halfway through the intro scene we're setting the world and you know we're we're too aggressive but yeah that one uh what else have i oh and i've been playing um getting back to the guitar
Starting point is 03:09:26 uh i've been playing uh rocksmith which uh is like uh which is like guitar hero except you're actually playing the songs yeah i know that they um i think you can use a regular guitar too like your guitar they sell guitars that are actual guitars, and you can also put a device on your own guitar and learn to play. All you have to do is if you buy, like you can buy it on Steam, but you need to get this like cable. And it's basically a guitar cable on one end and a USB plug on the other. And you just plug it into your computer.
Starting point is 03:10:04 You set the delay on it to make sure that it's synced up right. And then notes come up on screen and you just kind of play along. Okay, what's the game called? Rocksmith. I'm buying that. I've got a guitar sitting right next to me
Starting point is 03:10:19 that I haven't played in a while. I got to get your email or something and i will send you a site to go where uh you can get a bazillion other songs that uh they they don't have so yeah there's people that do uh charts and uh it's just it's really awesome so it's like kind of like they have over a thousand songs that you can buy, but then there's other ones where you can get a lot of songs that they would never carry. YouTube left me unsatisfied. I went to Pornhub and I found the nudity on Honeypot 2.
Starting point is 03:10:55 There you go. There you go. Oh, because YouTube is... YouTube has gotten ridiculous I did a video a little while ago on a movie called Slave Girls from Beyond Infinity and I try to follow
Starting point is 03:11:19 YouTube's laws as best I can and there's a scene in the movie where there's a girl and she's wearing lingerie. And I'm like, okay, you know, what is wearing lingerie? They flagged it as 18 plus. And they said that YouTube does
Starting point is 03:11:36 not allow women in lingerie. And I'm like, well, you better tell the Victoria's Secret channel about that because they don't seem to be behind an 18-plus age gate. And that really kind of irritated me. So YouTube is getting more and more ridiculous every day. So I knew you weren't going to find the uncensored version there.
Starting point is 03:11:57 More than likely, they probably wouldn't even put it behind an age gate. They would just block it outright. This is a really dirty game. Well, yes. It really is. Keeping with that tone with your game with the underaged child.
Starting point is 03:12:15 The girl who's there, she's actually a thousand year old fairy. I knew it! I was going to say that as a joke! She looks 11 so we were talking about this I've been fascinated by this all week
Starting point is 03:12:33 the issue with the reddit admin and the ridiculous drama that went on this week for those of you who don't know I'm going to go over some of the highlights here I posted a little link there to an article The Verge did on it. And I'm going to try to find right when it kicks off here and just read it straight to you verbatim. Okay, so essentially, I can't find the right part of the article.
Starting point is 03:13:06 okay so essentially um i can't find the right part of the article but the issue is that uh this transsexual woman was hired as a reddit admin and her background is that uh she witnessed her father rape and torture a 10 year old child uh when she was growing up um as a member of the green party if i remember correctly she was running for some candidacy not so long ago she made her father part of the campaign um with that as his background her current husband um he had some interesting tweets recently i'm gonna read one of those verbatim let's see um she's british i don't think you mentioned that. She is, right? I believe so, yeah. Here's a tweet from her husband. I want to find the right one.
Starting point is 03:13:53 The one that's absolutely absurd. Did the guy who raped and tortured the kid go to jail? Good question. That I don't know. She um i fantasize this is her husband i fantasize about children having sex sometimes with adults sometimes with each other uh sometimes kidnapped and forced into bad situations sometimes coerced through fantasy mind control that's uh that's straight from his twitter and there. And there's about eight others that are pretty similar. Good God.
Starting point is 03:14:26 So he's into pedophile stuff. Her father was a pedophile. She watched her father do pedophile things, but we don't hold her responsible for that, I guess, because she was super young. She was a kid. I'm assuming. This is the first I'm learning.
Starting point is 03:14:40 Well, she also made him part of her cabinet when she was running. I was headed to that. Yeah, yeah. But we do hold her responsible for her more recent actions where she put her father in her professional life, I assume, as running schools. I don't know. Convicted that year of raping and torturing a 10-year-old child. Damn it. It doesn't say if there was prison time or something it just says
Starting point is 03:15:05 convicted yeah how long ago was this I mean not that it makes it any better but just out of curiosity I mean this is horrible but like when when was this because he could be out like I mean when he when he was just yeah if she's an adult it's been
Starting point is 03:15:21 a long time so maybe he's out of prison by now but like he must be if he's like getting offered a job at for the whatever green party her name is uh amy knight by the way if anybody wants to like do a little research on her it's a-i-m-e-e and then night like night to the round table so it seems though that she no longer works at reddit it seems like reddit's real crime was hiring someone without a very good background check they knew all of this uh going in and um they only fired her after many subreddits uh privated um out of protest because um there were people who were saying hey wait, wait a minute. Um, this
Starting point is 03:16:05 person is pro pedophilia. Her husband is pro pedophilia. Her father is a literal pro, uh, pedophile. Um, and you've, you've got her on it and they were saying, how, how dare you dox this woman and be transphobic? Yeah. Kyle, you're coming off as a little transphobic right now. I I've, I've called, listen, here's an image of Amy. Um, I have referred to Amy as a woman every step of the way. Uh, she's got those same glasses. Dirty has, does she? She's got those same glasses Dirty has. Does she? Do they share the same glasses? So much magnification. Oh, yes.
Starting point is 03:16:49 We're not... Let's... No... You're coming off as transphobic again. You're coming off as sightist right now. I have nothing against the ocularly impaired, okay? Certainly not. We're proud people.
Starting point is 03:17:03 Anyway, this is ridiculous. I don't know why Reddit hired someone with that background. As an admin. I was just going to say, I saw that they posted a thing saying that they didn't vet the person properly. So they were kind of trying to say that. So I don't know i i kind of came in on this i think yesterday uh i saw that there were a bunch of subreddits that uh had gone private and that was you know strizain effect i was like okay well what's going on here and i looked into it and then i was like oh god i kind of wish i didn't look into this so they wrote as of today the
Starting point is 03:17:43 employee in question is no longer employed by Reddit. We built a relationship with her first as a mod, then through her contractor work on Reddit Public Access Network. We did not adequately vet her background before formally hiring her. Debate and criticism have always been and always will be central to the conversation on Reddit, including discussion about public figures and Reddit itself. As long as they're not used for vehicles of harassment,
Starting point is 03:18:09 mentioning a public figure's name should not get you banned. So I don't know. It sounds like they thought they knew her, didn't run a background check because they thought they knew her. And then once they learned who she really was, they fired her. Well, I mean, that's good they fired her, but maybe I'm not getting it. So so admin obviously like that's actually working for it not a mod couldn't they have just opened up all of those those subreddits if they wanted to
Starting point is 03:18:34 like nope you you can't lock down or i guess that would draw even more attention to it really yeah i'm not sure that was the right move yeah that's true and it wasn't like all right so like it wasn't like i don't know name a small subreddit it was like pictures and like that like videos like videos yeah it was like major subreddits like were privating themselves like like i don't know but out of the top 25 subreddits like like several of those you know and and the people who are um moderators and admins for those are like they're part of the team you know like like like they're i guess they were really caused a sting to like start and be like all right well you don't want to open pics then uh we'll just click
Starting point is 03:19:21 a clean house here it is that that's not gonna happen is there money in being a mod on a big subreddit i wouldn't think so like forever i wouldn't be surprised if there's like a side hustle to be had like i feel like there's money in being the r videos mod in the same way that there's money being in politics oh no no no the money's not from the politics exactly you know the money comes in a more circuitous route or i might misuse that word but yeah um i could see that by the way can i can i write this off if i as wardrobe if i wear it on the show that's how it works right i think it has to do with uh whether or not you can wear it anywhere else. That would be a gray one. Kyle, I don't think you can wear that anywhere else.
Starting point is 03:20:10 I don't think so either. Yeah. If it was like overalls that said Jiffy Lube on them, then you could clearly write that off. If it was a costume used in a performance like cats or something, you could clearly write that off. On the other hand, if you bought, I don't know anything about men's pants, Dickies or chinos or something you would wear to like a business conference because you didn't have them already. You can't write that off because those are normal clothes that you're going to make as part of your wardrobe.
Starting point is 03:20:43 Fair enough. I don't cut any corners with my taxes. I don't think I've ever written off clothes. Never thought about that before. But I've also... Oh, no, wait. I have. I've done that with costumes for the show.
Starting point is 03:20:55 I was totally going to say, those Al costumes? Yeah. Unless you're trying to convince me you wear them on weekends with the wife. Or the ex-girlfriend, as we call her. Those all hang out in that closet right there. A big bunch of costumes. There's no closet there. I know that room like the back of my hand.
Starting point is 03:21:09 That's a window. You're right. He caught me. That closet back there? Yes. There's a closet back there. Yeah, that's the closet. Because it's my house, obviously.
Starting point is 03:21:22 I know. Yeah, so that whole thing was ridiculous i saw that uh earlier this week what a disgusting background um yeah my god i i i don't get the the um i'm really worried that like pedophiles are are gonna do their best to become part of the LGBTQ++ plus crowd. I mean, they're already attempting that, but I'm worried that at some point they're gonna be allowed in. You think so?
Starting point is 03:21:56 Well, every time I see it come up, you know, they're quickly rebuffed. But I wonder how long that'll last. And the fact that lesbians don't give respect to bi chicks. Right? If they won't let bi chicks in
Starting point is 03:22:11 fully, then they're not going to let pedos in. Do they not let bi chicks in? They have the B in there. I mean, in the broader group, but in the cool kids club? No sir. There's a hierarchy part of the acronym though
Starting point is 03:22:27 but there's the B down the road a little bit it starts with L bitch don't you forget it it does start with L it starts with L like that was an important thing when they're starting they're like G T L no BLT
Starting point is 03:22:43 no that's taken BLT is taken by lesbians and trannies that would ruin the BLT because they'd have to add additional letters pickles I don't know
Starting point is 03:23:01 I guess you'll have to keep an eye on it Kyle you'll have to keep your eagle eye on the situation and keep us surprised if anybody sneaks past the goalie. If anybody gets in like, hey, I'm just a normal gay guy. And you're like, hey! Nah! Your boyfriend's 11. You can't fool me.
Starting point is 03:23:22 No, I always shop at Oshkosh Bigosh. Hidden in the center of the clothes racks like i just i can't believe there's like safe havens for these people on the internet like like it's pedophiles essentially yeah like i i really don't like the whole like oh no she's 9 000 years old thing. I'm not a big fan of that. I'd be fine if she was 9,000 and she looked like an 18-year-old woman. Yeah, but I think that defeats the purpose of what they're going for. It absolutely defeats the purpose
Starting point is 03:23:57 of what they're going for because they want a child-looking avatar and then also to be able to be like, no, what I'm doing isn Isn't, isn't ridiculous. It's science. It's, it's magic. It's magic.
Starting point is 03:24:09 I'm also into Harry Potter, you know, but, but, and I think it's so much worse than just liking 18 year old women who look young. Like, like,
Starting point is 03:24:20 like that to me is fine. Like, like, like, like the faux bait, uh, subreddit that i was i was joking around about a few months ago it's like these are 18 year old girls who just look very young they're 18 year old women though like they're adults but this guy is like no no no i fantasize about it i wish i still had i closed the fucking window because i don't want to look
Starting point is 03:24:43 at it anymore but it was just. But it was just like, his tweet was just like, it wasn't even that he liked underage girls. It was, it was that he liked children being forced to do things with adults, forced to do things with other children. Yeah. He said,
Starting point is 03:24:57 didn't he say like, and some, and the children being forced to do sexual things with magical mind control or wizardry. And it like hypnotism there was a whole thing about hypnotism and like like brainwashing and like there was something in there about dragons and animals and like it's just so fucked it's like dude you gotta go outside man you gotta go outside and play some softball or something and get this weird fuckery out of your head you've been inside too long you know
Starting point is 03:25:25 it's bullshit too like they're just trying to get around not being pedos because like if you were to tell them like hey write a whole write a five page story about your this world with little you know you know fantasy girl that's 11 000 years old what does she do how does she get to the castle it would be like she arrived at the castle and saw a well-hung goblin and then it would be like five straight pages of just the sex stuff they wouldn't talk about the magic in the world there'd be no world building it would just be basically writing fantasy child pornography you know yeah and i don't even i don't even mind like the fantasy non-consensual stuff because it's like, all right, whatever you're into. It's a fantasy.
Starting point is 03:26:08 It's a little fucked, but goddammit, at least there's no children. Fuck. Although I still think that that stuff shouldn't be illegal. We've talked about this before, how I think you should be able to draw whatever the fuck you want. I'm sorry. This goes back to like- It doesn't just protect the stuff you want like like no yeah i'm sorry like this goes back to like just protect the
Starting point is 03:26:26 stuff that you like it it's not that you don't need free speech laws to protect the stuff you like it's not what free speech laws are for it's to protect the shit not everybody likes and sometimes that's the majority of people likes like this it really is it really is but but that being said it's perfectly within your rights to say hey i don't think i want to be associated with a company that hires people who are pedophile adjacent yeah and and that is what she is um she is pedophile adjacent clearly but uh that being said i feel like you should be to draw any fucking thing you want to draw. I feel like drawing is no holds barred.
Starting point is 03:27:09 I feel like you could do anything I could want. I want with a pencil and a piece of paper and I can't, I just don't understand how anything I can do with a pencil and a piece of paper could ever be illegal. Yeah, I agree with you there. Immoral, disgusting,
Starting point is 03:27:27 wrong. Yeah, but illegal, imm illegal immoral disgusting reprehensible vile you know yeah terrible but not illegal yeah well i didn't know anything about this story but it looks like they got it handled pretty quick good seems like a dumb question coming from me right now, but glasses. People think I wear glasses. These are reading glasses. I only wear them here at the computer. When you wear normal glasses, do they work up close? Do they work at all distances? Can you read better? I was like, I was working on my motorcycle today with one of these sort of like one eye proper distance things like, all right, here's my maximum vision. If you had glasses on, would you just have like, would you just been fine?
Starting point is 03:28:14 Uh, I mean, I can see like if I'm wearing my glasses, I can, I can read everything on this table or my current glasses. I might have to like go like that or mess around cause it's starting, I starting to lose it uh with that particular prescription but like real close i can't read that uh on my glasses real far away obviously like so you just have one pair do you have a reading pair and a no driving pair for example no i just have one pair like reading glasses wouldn't do anything for me they're not uh curved enough like it wouldn't help uh so yeah i can see everything but like these contacts are so much fucking better like i can read everything so much crisper so much cleaner and this is the exact same prescription as my glasses but because i think glasses are always like making little micro movements on your nose and so like the lens is moving little bits and that may not seem like a big deal if you don't
Starting point is 03:29:03 wear glasses you're like, oh, whatever. But like that's also shifting that area outside. And this is probably varying in intensity depending on how bad your vision is. But that's also shifting the area surrounding the glasses. And that that's really unpleasant, at least for me. Like I I hate like trying to look at something out of the corner of my eye with my glasses on. Oh, yeah. This is a thing. Like if you have really bad vision like me and you try and look at something out of the corners of your eyes because the glass is so thick there it'll be wonky and so you'll almost
Starting point is 03:29:28 have to like turn your head like you have a neck brace on to to see it right whereas if i go like this with my contacts i'm hunky dory i'm good there's a sweet spot in the lens and you should look through there if you like look through the corner of it that can be wrong sometimes yeah yeah exactly like i'm sure yours are like a lot less noticeable with that or maybe not like mine are mine are kind of complicated too i have double vision so now i can focus and pull it together but yeah it becomes a strain over time and it gives you a headache and stuff so these i'm just freaking chill and everything is always good. What causes double vision? I don't know.
Starting point is 03:30:09 What causes it? Like, birth defect maybe? I was curious because, like, I was like, all the rest of shitty vision. Stigmatism is, like, that eye isn't the right shape. Like, my left eye has astigmatism, so I have a toric lens in that one that rotates slightly every time I blink to keep it centered so it doesn't float off. So like I was wondering just if they ever told you like, oh, you have double vision. That's because your corneas are swapped.
Starting point is 03:30:34 I think that I'm like you can't see it like no one has ever in my life and I can't see it myself like cross-eyed. But I think that's what it is. One's just a millimeter off or something like that. OK, you have good eyes, Cecil, for watching all those films. but I think that's what it is. One's just a millimeter off or something like that. Oh, okay. Um, do you have a good eyes Cecil for watching all those films? Yeah.
Starting point is 03:30:50 Surprisingly. Uh, I'm the only person in my family, my mom, my dad, my sister, like they all have horrible vision and I somehow, I guess I ate a lot of carrots when I was young because my vision's fine. So I don't know.
Starting point is 03:31:04 Even my, yeah, yeah. I, I don't know. Yeah, yeah, I lucked out. But yeah, my sister is like one step before legally blind. So her glasses are like ridiculously thick. And I was just like, nope, not getting to that point. So I don't know. I mean, I might get to a point sometime in my life when I might need glasses. But as of currently, I'm fine. Which is funny because I stare at, you know, monitors and TV screens all day long and haven't destroyed my vision yet. I learned this year how the carrot vision myth started.
Starting point is 03:31:42 Do you know this already? Yeah. No, I don't. So apparently the British during World War II had invented radar and the Germans didn't know how they were seeing them at night. So the British started a rumor
Starting point is 03:32:00 that their heavy carrot diet allowed them to see planes at night so they wouldn't suspect radar yeah it's really interesting but like i wonder but also like like the german scientists like making rockets and stuff so i imagine like whatever like non-scientific general was like we have to have carrots for every single soldier so be you know, he was fucking with you, right? Like, that's like, I know you like totally like, Oh my God,
Starting point is 03:32:28 you outrank me. I mean, like in five years, I'm going to have a cush job at NASA and you'll be fucking dead. But who cares? But anyway, like, let me get back to the rockets.
Starting point is 03:32:39 I, wow. He must give them all the care. Did you hear that? I'm a retard. Dude, we must give them all the carrots. Did you hear that, retards? This fucking idiot is in charge. Dude, we are fucked. Dude, we have the dopest lunches in all the planet and we're going to fucking lose. This is trash.
Starting point is 03:32:56 I have an even stupider thing. I always thought that... I thought it was because of rabbits. Like, rabbits eat carrots and they have really good vision to be able to you know see predators and so that's kind of where i thought it came from like it's like oh well rabbits eat them they have good vision then if humans eat carrots then they must you know must be good for their vision i didn't know rabbits had good vision yeah i don't know i honestly don't know if they do or not
Starting point is 03:33:25 I always just kind of took it It's so killer No Bugs Bunny he ate the carrots He did Never got killed He was never getting the best of Elmer Fudd Did Elmer Fudd have glasses? No.
Starting point is 03:33:48 I think he needed glasses. Yeah, he probably needed them. He was too proud. Kyle. What kind of gun did Elmer Fudd have with that big funnel on the end? It was a shotgun. It was just, you know, a cartoon shotgun.
Starting point is 03:34:03 That was disappointing. It's a blunderbuss, isn't it? That's what the pirates would use. Oh. I mean, those had that barrel. You know, that's so you can load them faster. You got to funnel to the end so you can just pour the powder and the shot in. Yeah.
Starting point is 03:34:16 But you always think of pirates when you see those, or at least I do. And I imagine it's because it's like, oh, you're out on the high seas and you got to, you can't, you know, be, you're swaying. You need to be able to pour it in. Is that right? That does seem right. I bet it's because it's like, oh, you're out on the high seas and you can't be, you're swaying, you need to be able to pour it in. Is that right? That does seem right. I bet it is. He always seems to have a regular shotgun in these pictures. I remember it being a blunderbuss. I don't know, maybe it's because when he would shove a carrot in there and it would kind of banana peel up.
Starting point is 03:34:38 That might be what we're thinking about. I've been looking at cars a lot lately, and I'm not interested in this deal, but this is one of the best deals I've ever seen on a car. So I'm pretty sure it's still active, at least through the month, I think. But you can get a 2021 Camaro LT1. That's one step down from the Supersport,
Starting point is 03:35:04 but you get the va the touchscreen navigation i think you can get leather seats just not heated leather seats um they're like 10 speed paddle shift transmission um it looks like there's a 1500 bonus here that won't be applied unless you're already coming out of a Chevrolet lease. So just ignore that. So $1,500 down, almost $2,000 down. And I think it's $274 a month for a 39 month lease with 10,000 miles a year. You're getting a $35,000 car for for 274 a month with 2k down and it's 455 horsepower it's it's a v8 brand new camaro that's pretty cool but it's ridiculously cheap no consideration there because you need a little change of pace i would think you're you're pretty you're pretty
Starting point is 03:36:01 stuck on the corvette now that was it c8 8, 8C. I am interested in the Corvette. Um, that, that is almost certainly what I'm going to go with, but, um, I could, I could do another Camaro, but I would want a super sport at least. Yeah, you should, you should, but yeah, I want the Camaro. Yeah. Corvette for sure. I sort of haven't, am I the asshole? Yes.
Starting point is 03:36:29 sure i sort of haven't am i the asshole yes super quick before i get into the the layout i am telling what i think is the truth it is possible if you heard the other side i get something wrong but this uh i'm not intentionally lying all right so i'm going to get my motorcycle fixed they tell me it'll take three days something like that it ends up taking 14 days. And I am head over heels enthusiastic about getting it back, practicing. I'm buying equipment for it. I really wish I could like see it up close and make sure things fit. And it is the way I remember. So I anxiously want it back. At first, I wasn't really nagging them too hard because you know they said it would take three days you don't call on day two and is it done yet like fucking chill so uh I call on like day four like hey you know can I come get it and they're like no trouble so far I uh we need to buy a new computer
Starting point is 03:37:22 and it's like and we need you to approve the purchase of the computer it's more expensive than original so okay misdiagnosed out of the gate that's cool i'm a not a good mechanic but i enough that i know you don't always get it right on the first try like cool cool cool but why didn't you call me instead of me calling you yeah Yeah. How long was it going to sit there unordered before you called me? That would be my first question. Right. So I approve it and they order it.
Starting point is 03:37:52 And then I call two days later and I'm like, hey, status update. And they're like, oh, it didn't come in because we ordered it the wrong way. We have to order it a different way. Oh, Woody, you don't understand. BMW is so hard to work with.
Starting point is 03:38:07 They're such a pain. They're this, they're that. Are you the BMW parts guy? You should be an expert at working with BMW at getting parts. This is literally what you do for a living. But they're like, don't worry. We'll order it the correct way now. And I'm like, all right.
Starting point is 03:38:23 So then I call. Has it come in? And they're like,'re like no turns out it hasn't come in i'll open a case every time it's like kyle mentioned like progress hadn't been being made until i called and i'm like i should have called two days ago you know like this set unfollowed up because i didn't follow up and if i don't follow up like when i follow up progress gets made right on the spot like while on the on the phone there they open the case and something you know that makes them like kick it into gear it gets shipped while i'm on the phone they're like oh it turns out this was never gonna come because we ordered it incorrectly like it's me calling that's making this progress.
Starting point is 03:39:07 Well, I put two and two together and realize I need to call all the fucking time. A couple times a day if I need to. They don't pick up the phone. Hardly ever they're picking up the phone. So I'll call three times in a row, just ring, ring, ring, ring. You know, okay. The service isn't picking up parts because there's like this voice tree thing parts isn't picking up sales sales always picks up hey
Starting point is 03:39:32 can you walk over to service they don't answer their phone and uh and they do and i'm hoping perhaps this is embarrassing right perhaps when the rest of the store is always saying, you know, half my job is getting you to pick up your phone. You know, there's something wrong, right? I should be able to call a business and get a person to pick up the phone. Most of the time, they pick up like 10%. So anyway, this happens. Things are pushing along and they needed an answer from me, whatever. I called.
Starting point is 03:40:09 They didn't pick up. I go to Parse. They didn't pick up. I go to sales. Eventually, the guy talks to me and he's like, Woody, Woody, we need you to leave a voicemail when we can't pick up the phone. when we can't pick up the phone, I was on the phone with another customer and I'm like, Jeff,
Starting point is 03:40:30 I'm not sure you've ever called me back. I've tried that way. And things don't get moving along. I need to talk to someone. I was like, I hear you, but that hasn't been working. And he's like, I hear you,
Starting point is 03:40:41 but I have 3,500 customers to which I'm thinking at once, right? Like right now you're like, really? And it just created this sort of awkward moment for me. They eventually finished the bike. I think they were happy to get rid of me and I was happy to get rid of them. But it had me. And by the way, by the end, I'm calling a lot, you know, twice a day. You're two weeks late. i'll call twice a day
Starting point is 03:41:07 i need a person you know like i need to talk to a human and know that's it and like kyle mentioned earlier things don't move along unless i nag so uh at the end like picking up the bike i'm like i shouldn't feel awkward i'm the customer, right? He's the one who told me to leave a message. You're the one not picking up the phone. Right? In my weird head, I'm like, I don't want to get fired as a customer. There's not that many BMW
Starting point is 03:41:35 motorcycle dealerships around here. I do need a guy who wants to fix my bike. But anyway, am I the asshole no i would have gone i would have taken down i would have gone so insane um i would have wanted i i would have talked to the general manager of the store i'd have went and saw him in person because that that would have caused a real stink he's everybody's boss um i'd have called like someone at like, I'd have been tweeting at BMW. I'd have
Starting point is 03:42:06 been looking for a BMW representative, like someone who does with customer service like nationwide. I'd be, I'd be finding out if there's some way you can report these people. If there's some way, if there's some sort of like customer satisfaction rating, some way you can damage their business. If, if they don't do X, Y, and Z. I'd have been looking for alternative places to take the bike, and I'd have been considering calling a lawyer. A lawyer? Yeah, yeah, absolutely. I would try to find damages.
Starting point is 03:42:37 You know what? I was going to use that bike to make these vlogs. These vlogs would have earned this much income. You've damaged my income because I've missed x amount of the riding season you've cut i'm seeking damages in the in the area of 10 to 25 000 that'd be fun yeah i mean you're like well i guess i gotta make double daily videos again no you don't have to make those videos you just have to prove that you intended to make those videos which is pretty easy to do you were intending to make those videos you just have to prove that you intended to make those videos which is pretty easy to do you were intending to make those videos indeed i uh yeah i i don't know he's he's he scolded me and uh it's like well yeah i am totally like getting salesman to walker you know
Starting point is 03:43:17 the guy's like i'm in the indian portion and i know it that's the far side of the shop. But I was fine with that. I was like, yeah, I'll wait. Yeah, you had to do your job today, huh? Right? You've got 3,500 customers? Where am I in that line? Am I the most annoying? You'd think you'd want to get rid of me as soon as possible.
Starting point is 03:43:38 I wanted them to think that. I was like, if I'm them and I have four bikes back there, I'm like, fucking work on the black one. You know, he's calling at lunch today to find out if we worked on it. You know, it. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, you didn't do anything wrong. Like, yeah, Jeff, I am calling.
Starting point is 03:43:56 And just so you know, so maybe you can free up a little time. I'm calling tomorrow at 1130 a.m. and again at 430 p.m. When do you take your lunch and what's your cell yeah yeah did they ever explain what the delay was like why they kept like or they just kept saying they didn't have the parts and that was what the delay was or dude the explanations were not satisfactory it was stuff like bmw so hard to. With COVID, shipping is unreliable now. Although that turned out not to be the thing. Once they shipped it, it came right away.
Starting point is 03:44:30 But they said that. They said that they ordered it like any normal part, but it turns out it was – I needed a computer, an ECU maybe. With that part, you have to order it through a different place. Like you order a key. And I'm thinking, this is really a lot more information. Oh, like you order a key. All cleared up for me now. Like that means fucking anything to me.
Starting point is 03:44:56 And then, well, when you order the key, it tends to come overnight. So we hope we have it tomorrow. Call tomorrow. Nope. Call the next day. Nope. Oh, look, I'll open a case to find out why it hasn't even shipped yet. This is the kind of explanations they were giving me.
Starting point is 03:45:10 And it all resolved in my head to you're not very good at ordering parts. First, you did it the wrong way. Next, you didn't notice it wasn't coming until Squeaky Wheel over here picked up the phone. Like how long would you have waited if I wasn't calling? Yeah. Like, look, it's a completely different scenario. I dropped my watch off at a watch repair place today. It was early in the day.
Starting point is 03:45:36 He said, oh, you need a new clasp. I said, yeah, yeah, I know. We don't have to replace the band, dude, because the band is $800. He's like, no, no, no. We can get the clasp. That's $40. I can overnight one if you want, or there'll be one here in three days. It's for, it's a, it's a $40 class, $10 to overnight it to $3. If you can wait three days, I'm like overnight, it'll be here tomorrow,
Starting point is 03:45:56 right? Yes. I'll have it ready for you by noon tomorrow. And I'm like, awesome. If that thing ain't ready by noon tomorrow, there's going to be a problem. There's going to be a problem, Woody. I'm going to raise a lot more stink than you just raised. And this is a class for a watch that I don't plan on wearing this week. I'll see
Starting point is 03:46:18 damages. I think I was in the right on this thing. I didn't know what time it was. I was late to a very important meeting. I was in the right on this thing. I didn't know what time it was. I was late to a very important meeting. I was going to vlog. I was going to start to watch vlogs. I was going to buy a lottery ticket. You owe me $6 billion.
Starting point is 03:46:33 I missed it. Welcome to FPS Russian Watch Review. Everybody's like, what the fuck? This content sucks my watch better be ready tomorrow six years and it comes back with four years intermediate level knowledge of watches at best
Starting point is 03:46:56 this one's very gold now he's bought at this this one is blue and this one is black. I'm looking forward to getting my watch back. That class has been broken for a long time. You've been enjoying looking at watches recently. I bought a silicone
Starting point is 03:47:13 wedding ring. I don't know. I don't even know how I feel about it, how I wear it. I'm not sure I know how to measure my finger. I was like, why aren't I wearing it? The reason I stopped wearing it five years ago or something is because we mow with farm equipment and I was working, why aren't I wearing a... The reason I stopped wearing it five years ago or something is because we mow with farm equipment and I was working on the stable.
Starting point is 03:47:29 It was like, I'm going to get degloved. But then the silicone thing came along around that time. Anyway, I bought a black ring. We'll see. The silicone thing? It seems like the smart move. That's what I'm going to do, I'm sure.
Starting point is 03:47:43 I used to wear one a little bit. My girlfriend didn't like me appearing to be single um okay what so i was like how would you would it make you feel better if i wore a wedding ring and so yeah yeah so you know what's going on huh wow we'll see i don't want you to your single but on the ring i like the gold one i used to tap it and uh i remember it a long time and it looked like it like it was shiny and now it's almost like a machine roughed it up or something like every i don't know micrometer of it was scratched and it was almost like uh like it was supposed to be. And I like things that have a little wear to them, things that have been through life with me.
Starting point is 03:48:32 But the deglove thing. Ooh, don't want that. Yeah. Don't want that. Does lifting ever deglove people? It seems like it's a... Nah. It wouldn't deglove you,
Starting point is 03:48:44 but it would probably cut you if you caught it wrong on any hard pole movement. You'd have a hard time catching it wrong, though. How? Even if you're doing power clenching. You almost have to try. I could see you pushing it and having something on your finger that's not round anymore.
Starting point is 03:49:00 I guess. But that might even be better than just destroying your finger. I don't know. I wouldn't worry about it. Well, with the silicone one, definitely. With the silicone one, yeah.
Starting point is 03:49:14 We're talking about a gold one and not a silicone one. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No harm, no foul with the silicone one. Nothing bad can happen. I mean, I guess it could melt to your hand. Maybe the silicone one will be so good at improving grip that you just. Right. I look like Michael Jordan on his fifth championship.
Starting point is 03:49:34 Yeah. It's like a workout tip. You know, give yourself rings. Yeah. You're going to look ridiculous. Your hands aren't going to go together all the way. They're going to go like that.
Starting point is 03:49:46 27 of them down your fingers. It's called a straight finger deadlift. You've got to hook your hand. You want to talk about going somewhere and seeing a lot of shiny things that are tempting? At Watch Store today. Yeah? You've reignited an impulse. I mean, I always like things that are shiny sometimes it burns brighter than others always always i like shiny things you know and and he had like lots
Starting point is 03:50:14 of nice watches and then lots of nice like golden fucking jewels and shit i'm like i mean i could use a diamond ring i mean why not i mean you get like this big like men's ring that looks like a fucking super Bowl ring or something like that. It's got bunches of gold chains and shit. I don't know. I like shiny shit. It looked like fucking Smaug ought to be sitting on top of his countertop in that place. It's ridiculous. He had
Starting point is 03:50:35 a lot of nice watches, too. Huh. That's not my jam. I don't relate. I like them. Watches I relate to a little bit. Do you have the Fitbit bling? That's about as far as I go. Does Fitbit still make nice stuff?
Starting point is 03:50:55 I feel like they disappeared with Apple Watch. Are they still kicking? Well, you know, it's funny. I call it Fitbit, but it's like a knockoff fitbit so i don't even know if they're i'm assuming they're still going i mean they were kind of the thing uh i don't even know what brand this is but uh it essentially does the same thing and it was a lot cheaper so because the last one i wore i was on the subway and somebody bumped into me and it like hooked onto like the
Starting point is 03:51:27 side of the subway door and it tore right off i was like oh great you know now i'm at 150 bucks so i had to go uh get a new one and i got like a knockoff fitbit and it it's been doing the essentially the same thing i've got the samsung s3 and i really like it it's got lots of i don't know it's it it does a lot of shit. Just all sorts of health stuff and it pairs with my phone and it lets me control my phone. I can control the camera on my phone from my watch
Starting point is 03:51:53 and I can control all sorts of music stuff and I dig it a lot. How do you get your pulse? Do you wear a chest thing or does it come from your wrist? Right from your wrist and it'll do, it keeps your pulse all day so it'll give you your high and your wrist and it'll do um uh it'll do like it keeps your pulse all day so it'll like
Starting point is 03:52:07 give you like your your high and your low and your average but it'll also do like instantaneous pulse readings um so yeah it's pretty cool i think it does blood oxygen content somehow as well i don't even know how the fuck that works well it it seems reasonable right normally they just put a light through your finger or something so i don't know how that works either well yeah me too yeah yeah i i don't know how that works i'm well aware that it's red it's got a lot of functionality it was a little bit expensive i think it was 280 or something like that i probably should have spent another like i think 30 more dollars and i could have gotten the LTE version and it's got its own fucking like phone number or whatever. Like I don't even need my phone to like have a communicator on my wrist all the time. Would it be 10 bucks a month?
Starting point is 03:52:56 That I didn't look into. I think maybe if I've already got a Samsung, it like pairs for free. I don't know how it works exactly. But it's way easier to get 400 out of me than 10 bucks a month. Agreed. Agreed on that. Yeah. But I've always got my phone in my pocket.
Starting point is 03:53:16 So it's so easy just to like Bluetooth and they're both connected. And anytime, like I keep my phone on silent, but if I get a message or something, my wrist will go vibrate a little bit. And I can, like, swipe to the right, and I've got my messages. And, you know, I can do everything from it. I like it a lot.
Starting point is 03:53:33 You know what I like about the iPhone? It has facial recognition to log in. Yeah. And when I first saw that, I was like, oh, that sucks. I'd rather have the thumb. You know, like, why is that even good? Here's why it's good your phone goes right like it's vibrated you look at it and by the time i've like observed it
Starting point is 03:53:52 it's recognized that i am me and now it's unlocked and instead of just saying like whatsapp notification it says kyle wrote this because it's unlocked it's not private yeah yeah that's that's probably great for you um as someone who has had their phone become federal evidence before um i don't like the idea of a cop being on huh what do we have here let me just uh all right let's see what we got right they just point it at you. And they'll do that. Yeah. I wouldn't doubt that. I don't have any evidence on my phone anymore. What do you have to do? Just be like... Sunglasses.
Starting point is 03:54:34 You're sitting there making a ridiculous face. They're like, what's wrong with him? He doesn't want us to get into his phone. I need my attorney. Fuck you. I'm smarted us. It doesn't work with sunglasses and it didn't work with a mask like for COVID. Makes sense.
Starting point is 03:54:52 But Apple said, I don't know if they updated it or if they're about to, but it will work with a mask. That's exactly coded. I just I've got like a 10 digit code and at this point I can type it so goddamn fast.
Starting point is 03:55:06 I'm in a second and a half. It's fine. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven. It's the same combination on my luggage. Exactly. Yeah. I saw that was the most secure to just have like the number pad thing. And, you know, I don't like the idea of biometrics.
Starting point is 03:55:29 Not because I'm like paranoid. I don't think Bill Gates is going to inject me with any microchips. And I don't care about my biometric data. I just don't think it's very secure. Yeah, that's definitely what jumps out. And, you know, I've got like financial stuff on here. I've got like, you know, PayPal and bank information and stuff. So, yeah, might as well keep
Starting point is 03:55:46 it secure better safe than sorry i get it i get it i want to eat so bad i'm so hungry oh hold on i actually have so we were talking about motorcycles woody what do you think of this japanese lady going around what is gonna happen around on her motorcycle. Kyle, you should look as well. I'm looking. Oh, I had her as a topic too. Did you? I did. So what do you think, Kyle?
Starting point is 03:56:17 What am I missing? Do you think she's a real biker? A poser? I'll tell you there's something off about this. Scroll down and look at the top four-way picture. You know, as I look at her here, I think that maybe, okay, Yamaha. Yeah, I'm positive. That's like a 45-year-old man.
Starting point is 03:56:37 You knew. You didn't know. You knew. You didn't know. 50-year-old man with great hair. Yeah. So I have this linked I'll share my link with you guys so
Starting point is 03:56:55 ads on daily mail are outrageous here's the picture chat if you're looking at this her arm is like a 45 year old man's arm. I can't even notice on this top picture. She's making like a peace sign. And, uh, but the, the internet did cause nothing gets past the internet and it turns out she's
Starting point is 03:57:20 been filtering herself and this is what she really looks like. Hilarious. That is the ultimate catfish. Wow. Yeah, that forearm, that is so true. That's not a good woman's forearm. I would just assume it was weird lighting or something. That is like loose skin.
Starting point is 03:57:38 Yeah. It's a 50 year old man. That is a good filter. Yes. She's hot. Yeah, he's cute. I bet he's got a great body that's why like things like that and all the deep fakes are gonna be just i mean this is just the beginning of this like imagine what they're gonna be able to do in a couple years it's like did you see the the tom cruise video Yes. That was insane. This is scary.
Starting point is 03:58:14 It used to be you couldn't trust still photos, but videos were very hard to fake. Now, idiots on Instagram are faking even video now. It's a matter of time until some politician or like billionaire gets caught like, we have you on camera on Epstein's Island raping someone. It's like, that's a deep fake.
Starting point is 03:58:33 Everything's deep fake and you can't prove it's not because it's 2030 and it's completely indifferentiable from reality. Yeah. And it is. Yeah.
Starting point is 03:58:42 You know, like Kyle was saying how they're very good at cgi water now at the top of the show yeah dude random people on reddit make amazing water simulations like this is a hobbyist level thing today that back in the titanic it was groundbreaking now it's anyone can do it uh this deep fake stuff like teenagers with their phones are going to be faking politicians and sex scandals yeah 50 year old japanese men are going to pretend to be hot women that's the real crime it is i think it's i think honestly what's going to happen i'm kind of surprised it hasn't happened yet, is some high school kid will deep fake.
Starting point is 03:59:27 Like, let's say he has an ex-girlfriend and he he'll do a deep fake and send it to like her new boyfriend. And it just kind of escalates from there or like a husband wife thing where that happened last week. Oh, did it? or like a husband white thing where that happened last week. Oh, did it? So, so essentially is a, a high school cheerleader,
Starting point is 03:59:48 um, had some sort of issues with the squad. She was on the cheerleading squad and her mother made deep fakes of the other cheerleaders on the squad, smoking cigarettes and drinking alcohol, and then tried to get them kicked off the squad. Like, like,
Starting point is 04:00:03 like, like, like administration. now you're the only cheerleader left honey let's go let's go you guys might be looking down but that's a mom who cares that's a mom who tries you want to talk about a mom who cares i saw this story today this mom showed up to school with boxing gloves and beat the shit out of a kid who was who was causing problems for her daughter i like it she's arrested wow did she bring boxing gloves and beat the shit out of a kid who was causing problems for her daughter. I like it.
Starting point is 04:00:27 She's arrested. Wow. Did she bring boxing gloves for the girl? No. She showed up with her own boxing gloves and beat the shit out of a child. It's not very sporting at all. She went full like, what's the, Step Brothers, when John C. Reilly and Will Ferrell just beat the shit out of all those kids on the playground.
Starting point is 04:00:45 Damn. And she's in jail now because she beat up a child. I used to daydream about that as a parent. Right? You know, like Hope having some social issue at school. It's like I could beat the fuck out of all of her friends. I don't mean to act like a badass, but she's
Starting point is 04:00:59 11 at this point. I mean, I could just, maybe I'll get a mask. I could really scare the fuck out of an 11-year-old. You just threaten to rape an 11-year-old and they are terrified. Believe me, you.
Starting point is 04:01:17 Sissies. Just, you just, you're just going around giving like, like fake punches to the kids. Like throwing heavy things. They crash. Nobody's going to believe you, you little cunt.
Starting point is 04:01:30 Guess what? Nobody's going to fucking believe you because I'm a grown-up and you're a little shit-nosed kid. Meanwhile, I'm actually a boomer and she's recording. Yeah, right. What the fuck is Facebook Live?
Starting point is 04:01:43 Just say some shit that's so ridiculous What the fuck is Facebook Live? It's so ridiculous that it'll sound like it's being made up. Right. You notice her recording and being like, shit nose kid, I'm going to beat the shit out of you is what I would say to someone who threatened you or anyone. I'll set your house on fire and shoot your parents
Starting point is 04:02:06 while they run for cover. What? No one will believe you. And they wouldn't if an 11-year-old went and said, Casey's dad said he was going to set our house on fire and shoot mom and dad
Starting point is 04:02:21 while they were running out. I don't think that sounds like Casey's dad. If they came to you, you'd be like, what? Now, Mr. Myers, we were entirely on your side for the first time this happened. This is now five separate incidents. I can't even say that. I'm going to say something even more horrific,
Starting point is 04:02:45 but I can't say that. So, oh, well, uh, Cecil, where can everybody find all your stuff, all your Twitch,
Starting point is 04:02:56 your YouTube, everywhere you are online? Uh, you can find me primarily on YouTube at good, bad flicks, uh, as well as Twitch, Twitter, Facebook,
Starting point is 04:03:06 and the under construction, but it should be back soon, GoodBadFlicks.com. So I had a very nice person was redoing the site for me and fixing all the SEO problems and all that stuff because I had built it way, way back when and I didn't know
Starting point is 04:03:25 I'm not a web designer I didn't know what I was doing so I got somebody who was a fan who wanted to do something nice for me and said hey can I you know I've been watching you for free for years can I do something I'll rebuild your website I was like very nice absolutely dude thank you very much so nice we'll check him out all those places thank you so much for coming on cecil yeah if you're gonna check out one of his videos i recommend um exploring galaxy of terror thank you yeah that one uh i was actually really happy and also shocked at how well that one did um because i had a lot of people that it's funny the majority of people were like oh my god this was an amazing episode and then i got a lot of other people that were like oh what the hell this was all about james cameron and i'm like well yeah that kind of was the story that's the one with the slug rape right yes that is the one with the the slug rape where
Starting point is 04:04:14 the let's leave let's just leave that just as we leave it there it was the yes the one the one with the slug rape the one with the slug rape that almost killed the woman The one with the slug rape. The one with the slug rape that almost killed the woman. The woman was almost raped to death for reals. Well, she was almost crushed by a two-ton animatronic slug. Oh, so you don't explain it. See, don't explain it. Now, everybody's got to go watch the video.
Starting point is 04:04:39 But there's more. But there's more. Go check it out. It's great. It's really good content. One of my favorite YouTubers. I watch hours of your content. I have.
Starting point is 04:04:52 Will continue to. Thank you so much for coming on. Really enjoyed you. Thank you so much for having me, guys. I had a really good time. PKA 536.

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