Painkiller Already - PKA 564 w BlameTruth - Lock and Load, Penguin Facts, Woody‘s Injury
Episode Date: October 9, 2021...
Transcript
Discussion (0)
pka 564 blame tooth our guest this week taylor this episode of pka brought to you by blue chew
and lucy and finally at long last lock and load that link is below have huge comes all over your
boyfriends and girlfriends whoever you want your parents i mean your dog your cat your kitchen
table really these loads should be a centerpiece, a display.
Yeah.
It's going to be a huge part of the show.
It's all we're going to talk about now.
Yeah.
One thing that would be cool is if you went through the process,
whatever it takes to get your load.
What would you say?
Three weeks, six weeks, something like that before you've achieved things?
And then if you tweeted them to Taylor, that'd be so funny.
Yeah.
Or to Kyle.
Or to Woody.
You want to send those straight to business at pkaonline.com.
Yes.
We need a pre and a post so we can see how much
your volume has increased.
It's a legit product.
You're going to need yourself a 3ml syringe
and a pack
of cheap jimmies.
You're going to come in the condoms. You're going to
draw out the semen. You're going to be able to measure
it to the milliliter or to the
fraction of the milliliter. You might need multiples.
By the end of
my transition,
nine milliliters.
Nine milliliters of fluid. That's what we were producing with lock
and load. An incredibly stout,
viscous, foamy,
hot load. This is three.
It's milliliters, so it doesn't
sound like a lot, but that's a lot for cum.
It's a huge amount of cum.
The viscosity is impressive.
I use it to lubricate my truck.
I use it to lubricate other people's
trucks and parking lots.
I'm helping.
I'm pretty sure a vial of my medication is like 10 milliliters.
So it's like nine is enormous.
It's enormous.
And it's not going to give you like a watery load.
It's going to be thick.
It's going to like.
You're wrong.
Yeah.
It's like.
Here's the question, though.
It's going to do you wrong.
Here's the question, though.
What if I inject a normal man with my
load after I've been
taking the load stack for some time?
You'll go to prison.
No, he wants it.
He wants it.
This is consensual.
And I do mean with the syringe,
right into his vein.
If he said do it, then you wouldn't get in trouble.
It would probably kill him.
No, it sounds like you've added an unnecessary middleman.
Yeah.
When you're going to come into a condom.
Oh, don't be crass.
Don't be gross.
I'm being sexy.
No, it's finally out.
I know that there were people who didn't believe that we were actually making something called Lock and Load that made your loads bigger.
I told my dad about this about six months ago.
He thought it was fucking hilarious.
Yeah, my dad liked it too.
Yeah, it took a long time.
I thought it was a really funny idea, but that was embarrassing to explain.
I'm hoping my dad doesn't know about it.
Go forth and be fruitful.
Am I right, dad?
Mom's the word, Mom.
Yeah, but finally we're here.
This isn't a joke.
It's not Tilk, which was my fake titty milk company where we were going to sell not just to babies because why do they get it all?
That was our slogan.
This is a real product with real formulations science technology math yeah all the sciences
nice geometry the shape of the most of the math was counting the pills if we're being honest yeah
that's how you can tell this is gonna you know honestly it would have been way easier to be like
just take one pill a day but to get to the amounts needed that derrick was like we need
efficacious dosages the first text he sent to us in the group,
he was like,
guys,
it sounds silly,
but is 18 pills a day too many?
Literally the number was literally,
it was 18.
And we're like,
dude,
Derek,
I know,
but we got to get into less than eight.
The monthly box or it was enormous,
enormous.
And it was after like science and, and really figuring out how to get more in there
that he's like, I got it down to nine.
It's going to be nine.
That's how many it's going to be.
Nine's good.
Nine's good.
Single digits.
It's $39.
Coupon code PKA is 10% off, and there's a link in the description.
I'm excited for this.
Honestly, I've been waiting for you guys to make this
because I come like eight times a day. I'm ready for this. Honestly, I've been waiting for you guys to make this because I come like eight
times a day. I'm ready to just
repaint my walls here.
Seriously. This is perfect
for you. Oh, absolutely. I'm going to have to get
a green screen like you and not to spoil the
illusion here, but you know,
because this room's not going to be brown anymore
after. Yeah, we're going to
have a few different challenges.
We're going to have
one challenge that involves distance obviously we want a distance champion
uh then of course volume and uh i i have one gentleman he's been won't leave me alone but
he said he thinks we should have a an acidity contest he's the only one he's the only one he's
just a few he's like come on get a few p8 strips does this guy burn his girlfriend by chance yeah he mentioned something about that does he take
vinegar shots or something like maybe yeah we yeah no we have a friend of the show who um has
a difficult time making love to his girlfriend because his semen is so uh uh acidic i remember
this guy creative way for his girlfriend to say, I don't want to fuck. Right?
Say no. No, no.
It's chemistry.
It's like a chemical burn,
but invisible to the eye.
Maybe it really is.
I'm like, would facials give her one of those Middle East
scarred women?
She needs to sneak in a couple of
Alka-Stzer in her vagina
next time before they have sex and turn herself into one of those high school volcano projects
what he was used to like vinegar and bacon he just filled the girl's pussy with vinegar
it's the only way i can touch he finishes and he's like you're welcome
no i'm more get off on you having to handle the mess i'm out of here He finishes and he's like, you're welcome.
No, I more get off on you having to handle the mess.
I'm out of here.
Zach, Hotload producer Zach has given a chemical burn to a girl before.
It just says I've given a chemical burn.
That sounds like that was an honor killing.
That has nothing to do with this. Oh, my bad.
Is there a link between fertility and acidity?
This guy had three kids by the time he was like 14
maybe. That's why he's called
the Hot Load Zach. That's right.
That is a real thing.
Okay.
I thought it was another creative way to say
I'm not down to fuck right now.
It clearly didn't work.
No, she's clearly not allergic enough
if the SMB did.
So you mentioned and we glossed over it you you're you're coming eight times a day uh i mean give or take yeah i don't count
you have a tremendous amount of stamina are you just um facing it out a couple hours
yeah the truth is the truth is a few years ago when i was kind of fat, I noticed I wasn't as horny.
And then when I lost a lot of the weight, put on a lot of muscle, cleaned up my diet,
like fucking, it's like I'm 20 again, like as far as that goes.
So I'm just, yeah, doing that because I don't stream anymore.
So I get a lot more free time just to get my thing.
You're just doing YouTube, right?
Just YouTube, yep.
So I can stop the commentary and bust a nut mid-fucking show.
Why wait?
Yeah, exactly.
Yeah?
We had a guy drink his own pee on the show.
I don't know that we've ever had a guy ejaculate on the show.
You've definitely had a guy ejaculate on the show. I guarantee't know that we've ever had a guy ejaculate on the show. You've definitely had a guy ejaculate
on the show. I guarantee it.
I'll keep my hands up.
I won't.
I'm jacking off right now.
Taylor, you should get
green gloves
or whatever and nobody could see.
No one can already see.
It's like, what's the Hulk line? It's's like that's my secret i'm always jacking off
they think that i'm like bouncing my knee 24 7 no i'm like i'm jelking
i just need to make an adjustment
so you're you're just doing youtube now uh still call of duty content or what are you making
uh call of duty sucks rinse and repeat people say i make the same video over like a lot of
critics do they say i make the same video over and over and to that i say call of duty releases
the same fucking game over and over every goddamn year so why don't you yell at them yeah it's their
fault like people like the same stuff over and over they do they like routine they like the
comfort of it's like when you watch the same movie over and over you know like my fifth time watching
top gun in a row i will you know be like wow i feel good now so it's like that but yeah just you two uh pissing fanboys off um yelled at hutch the other day really that's
interesting to me but you disagree on call of duty no he's just a retard um i don't really like you
guys are longtime friends or kind of frenemies right now he's just an idiot i don't know he's
just too stupid i can't i was a good problem we all have from time to time what what is he stupid about uh politically um he had a very unpopular opinion on sbmm and then he claimed he was
triggering the community based matchmaking right yeah yeah so i was trying to think of what
protected group that was i'm like you know know, SBMM. Oh, shit.
So what is...
I haven't played a Call of Duty multiplayer
in years. You are so fucking lucky.
People don't like that you get mad
that if you're really good, you play against really good people
and it's hard to get pub stompy
games, right? It's not just that, though.
The better you are,
the worse your connection
will be because it'll it'll
without getting too nerdy it'll put you it'll value matching you up on skill rather than
connection so a lot of the time it's terrible it's very terrible and there's no arguing like
that that's not terrible you know i shouldn't be getting worse connections on a game in 2021
with better internet than a game like five
years ago you know what i've said for 10 years when you're dying it's not your fault that's the
biggest thing a multiplayer game can do wrong it's so bad connections enable that the uh the thing i
didn't like about skill-based matchmaking is i have friends or you know people who watch the show
who are really good much better than me and it makes them undesirable to play with yeah yeah no yeah i had to i was playing with some friends of mine who are not very good
and they liked me being in there at the start right i would drop the harps or whatever you
know like i'd drop all the big kill streaks but then they didn't like it too much after like an
hour you know because then you get tougher competition
and then i'm carrying everybody and then you know it's never it's never good so if you're streaming
people will join your stream like it or not you're going to be playing with people who are watching
you according to me maybe you have a better idea and uh so it's like all right instead of trying
to fight that i would just fill my team with people from the stream it's a way to interact get back who knows that's what i do and uh i've been like you guys don't understand i get good games when
you're not looking but you know that's what happens it matches me up with people like me
but then i get it then these guys come in and they're people like you and i can't get good
games anymore and it's kind of embarrassing and as a viewer only a tiny percentage of them understand
that like oh this is just a lobby filled with studs yeah and here's the thing i'm not even like
on a scale of one to ten you know ten being like a call of duty god i'm like
maybe an eight on a good day i'm not even that great and if i'm having these issues
imagine what people that are yeah you know like fucking insane are dealing with what was hutch like skill-based
matchmaking even though it caught it's bad for connection he had a very liberal view on it
where he's like liberal yes how could you possibly make skill-based he's trying to take
connections from good players and share them with the lesser players.
I'm trying to get really good
players and this fucking loser
isn't letting me do it.
There's a clip, I swear
to God. Do you guys know Sandy Ravage?
Yeah.
Sandy went on Hutch's...
I swear to God, this is fucking real. He went on Hutch's
stream to debate skill-based
matchmaking with Hutch because Sandy Ravage is against it you know old school guy kind of like us doesn't really
like it and he's on hutch's stream hutch is for it and out of nowhere this is it's on youtube i'm
pretty sure out of nowhere hutch just said says uh you know you uh you kind of sound like trump
right now and sandy's like what he's just like yeah you sound like trump right now. And Sandy's like, what? He's just like, yeah, you sound like Trump
and I'm more of a Bernie Sanders type here.
And I saw that and I'm like,
they were just talking about
there's nothing that triggered that or whatever.
And I'm like, this dude's obsessed with fucking politics.
That is so bizarre.
What a moron.
That's worse than me.
I'm the hero in this conversation.
In the narrative I've constructed about
what could the point be?
Sounds like you're kind of a bad guy.
It should just be by connection.
Why would it not be by connection?
It always works that way.
And so his point was, oh, you just need to stop bitching and play?
Sandy's point was that back in the day, people still bought Call of Duty without this insanely complicated algorithm.
You know what I mean?
People bought Call of Duty, they played it.
It never really affected anything.
And then Hutch was like,
well, no, the new players need a protected bracket.
And I agree with that to an extent.
If you're like dog shit, if you're like fucking horrendous,
yeah, get into the Helen Keller.
No, get good.
I mean, I was just saying,
you can get into the Helen Keller lobbies if you want,
but everybody who's good that I know
wasn't really good at the start,
and the way they got better was facing better competition,
but at the same time...
There was a thing, though.
I'm sorry to cut you off, but take COD 4.
If you were a level 10,
you didn't find yourself with 10th prestigious very much.
It did impact the way the matchmaking worked.
The way it would do it is you would find just a variety of people.
But the thing is that it would primarily just base it on connection.
So you'd match based on the best connection to the lobby.
But you agree with me that it did seem to apply rank in there somehow.
Yeah, I don't think it was skill-based.
It was rank-based to some extent for sure
because we don't make new accounts,
and it's like, oh, look, these guys made new accounts too
because it's like two and a half years into the cycle.
Back in the day, it was very, very light.
So brand-new players like that like that yeah they would get slightly
you know easier lobbies but then also like when we would be like full team of 10th prestigious
like playing late domination at night it's like get matched with six other 10th prestigious who
are all also playing domination yeah that's what i'm saying it existed no i don't think it was
random i don't think that if you were a full team of 10 prestiges
you were not likely to get a full team of like rank one through 10 in in i played black ops 4
for about two yeah about two years straight on stream like you know about daily i would party
up with people from the stream and the way it worked from basically call of duty 4 up until black ops 4
was that there's like a super light skill-based matchmaking system but primarily it's based on
connection as it should be so sometimes the best connection is against noobs sometimes it's against
good players but it's like that's how it's always been. And how it should be.
The connection is paramount.
The skill might be second.
There's also something in there with joining complete games
or what games need a filler.
If there's a six on five, it's really cool to get a sixth
and bring it back.
I mean, if the concern was people quitting quitting or getting beat up on i'm way more
likely to quit a game i suck at because i get bad connection than because i'm losing like i'm if i
feel like if i'm losing because i'm bad at least it's like i can get better at this this is under
my control if i'm losing because my connection is bad it's like i could i could be a titan and
you know what fuck this i'm getting off like no i played i played cold war just uh like three hours ago before the podcast and i got into a lobby it's it's what day is it
thursday fucking four it was like 4 p.m est and i get into a lobby with nearly 100 ping i got
fucking fiber here man i could download like 4k goddamn porn while i stream while i play call of
duty and be fine i have that much bandwidth
why the fuck am i getting 100 ping you know what i mean like there's no like it's on dedicated
servers my nat's open why the fuck am i getting 100 ping like it's 2007 you know what i mean like
when i'm black ops 4 consistently like 30 ping but i don't know man so the uh the dog shit the debate debate between sandy and hutch
so i mean it's the internet debate and so at the end of it everybody
doubled down on their initial position right uh those are the rules of internet not only do i
should you not get a good connection you're donald trump
there's no debating with hutch because he has no other opinion it doesn't matter if he's wrong
misinformed or just being a complete retard he's going to stick to his opinion so there's no point
debating with him it's like debating with his opinion but i don't find him to be like uninformed
and retarded oh he was here i don't okay he was here but like usually he can speak pretty eloquently and defend his position.
Usually.
But here he didn't even understand how the SBMM algorithms worked.
He's also not very good at Call of Duty, so he's not going to be matched up with people that, like, again, me and Sandy,
we're probably around like, yeah, on a scale of one to 10,
like maybe an eight on a good day. I might be overrating myself.
I don't know, but Hutch would be like a six.
If Sandy's an eight, he slipped two.
Sandy used to be really, really good.
He was no commentary and people watched just because it was Duke Nukem clips of
him going on.
commentary and people watched just because it was duke nukem clips of him going on yeah it was it would be like like his videos with shotguns and like cod 4
were the equivalent of watching like grizz with snipers where i would convince myself like
yeah i can go 26 and oh with the break the own shotgun with two shots and it's like
oh no you can't He's just unbelievably good.
He would use the spaz on fucking
Wasteland, that huge sniper
map and still make it work.
His videos hurt my KD because I tried to do that
and it didn't work.
And I asked him, right, because I know
Sandy a bit, and I'm like, what should I do?
Do you have any advice? He's like, just use the ump.
You can't lose. Silly goose,
I can still lose use the ump you can't lose silly goose i can still lose
with an ump no you just you gotta shoot faster instead of waiting like it's like like him not
getting it like instead of waiting to lock on just do it like instantly i like that part where
you shoot kind of close to him to scare him a little bit. I never thought of that.
Sometimes I toy with my prey also.
Like a cat.
He plays with his food.
So what is the pro skill-based matchmaking point of view?
I don't get it.
The pro point of view is that it should – okay okay so here's a good example call of duty hasn't changed much
from 2007 to now as far as like what you do in game so there's not really a lot to do in game
as far as like grinding you know what i mean so if i'm better than the average quality player
and i get matched up against people that are like me and they get matched up you know
against me and whatnot and we we're we're trying our fucking ass off we don't get anything for it
in game you see the problem there like we're we're at a high it's like uh if we were ufc fighters
and we're ranking up and we're there's no title to fight for though you know what i mean like
you're just aimlessly fighting art of competition for nothing.
Yeah.
And even the UFC, if you knock off, like, the number four contender,
then you are probably the new number four contender or something like that.
Here, they make whatever stats you carry don't distinguish between whether the other player was good or bad.
There's no fucking, there's nothing to work towards,
there's no fucking,
there's no,
there's nothing to work towards, uh,
except that better play.
Like the only real difference is that better players get worse connections
because it's going to protect those shitty fucking,
you know,
cog noobs at all costs.
But the thing is,
is that they're going to play no matter what,
like it doesn't matter.
They already bought the game.
They already bought the game.
They're going to buy like $50 worth of skins on on week one it just doesn't make and i'm this is like the first discussion i've ever had
on skill-based max skill-based matchmaking because i don't care and i don't play cod but like it it
seems so common sense to for this in every game go by connection yeah like get in the game and be
able to play like what it just doesn't make sense.
And Hutch doesn't get this either.
This is another thing.
It's easier now to cheat because of the system.
So what you do... How so?
Okay, so I got a PlayStation and I got an Xbox.
So I'll boot the game up on Xbox.
Then on PlayStation, I'll also have the game.
And I'll have a burner account that's like shit.
All I do to get easier matches and better connections for that matter is i just join that bad shitty
account and we search for a game then it backs out and there's no way to turn this feature off
you can't be like prioritize skill or prioritize network or connection there's no way we literally
used to do this back in cod for when we would make a new
account and be like,
Oh,
Joe made a brand new account.
Let's join his lobby.
Cause he would,
he would,
when he played search and destroy,
he'd get,
he would not get a full team of like guys sound or he'd get a jumbled up
mismatch of people of various ranks in the middle that you hadn't seen in
years.
Cause you'd been,
you're like, man, that's what it looks like to be level 31
but uh yeah they think of that though but then like amplified times fucking five you know like
it's way worse now so why wouldn't people do like there's more people cheating than ever
you could even do this and you'll find good players that are sometimes better
than you that have done the same thing.
So you'll get these lobbies that are almost like old cod lobbies where you'll
have like one good guy on the other team,
then like three terrible people,
then like two guys middle of the road.
You know what I mean?
Yeah.
I mean,
the most fun way to play back in the day is when you happened upon one of
those lobbies where you were like the best guy.
And then you just stayed there until like it was a full replacement of new people i've made friends where
i've been playing call of duty and i've been the best guy on my team there's a guy on the other
team that's the best guy you know and we'll go back and forth and i'll be like hey man you want
to party up like after you know and i'm like you don't get that anymore lobbies fucking split apart and everybody's just
like you so there's no point yeah and nobody has their mics on nobody's nobody's being as
mean as they were back in the day i miss the way lobby split up everybody's mic was on yeah that
was so much fun and it was so much fun look two teams played until one team admitted defeat that's how that went right you know like
yeah it was like you and your friends are either going to beat us or realize you can't
yeah they're like jonesy wants to play well we can't back out and get him the other guys
will think we quit on they were afraid gee we got to take them on we on they're the penis going into the butthole clan
and we're F-A-G-S
before they get rid of it
we're all named after alcohol
that was so funny
like in the beginning those clan tags
you could put anything
Tarkov's bad about that now
it seems like there's no filter on what you can
make your name so like like say what you will about the creators of tarkov but they don't give
a shit what you name yourself or uh or what you say in the game like there is no restriction
whatsoever so it's funny you'll be watching your favorite streamer and the players drop dog tags
and you can check that dog tag to like confirm that you
were the one who killed this guy right like hey was it my grenade did i really ricochet a bullet
and hit this guy you kind of can get that information yeah but you also see their name
so they'll like double click this thing and it'll be like the worst string of three words you've ever
seen in your life like the same three words yeah yeah it's your it's your it's the same three words. Yeah, it's your favorite three words strung together to describe one another.
And it's rough.
But they don't seem to give a fuck.
That's good. That's what war is like.
War is intense.
It's not for the faint of heart.
Yeah, you check the guy's dog tags
and he's named...
Sorry, Snowflake.
There's a lot of racism at war.
What a fun take to have this is a realistic war game and it's not even racist come on yeah yeah the new call of duty uh is doing the it's based on world war ii but it's doing the whole
let's add random black women thing which
is interesting um i don't really care you could i could play as a fucking you know like furry for
all i care as long as the game's fun that would be funny yeah i will allow that well they'll
probably have a skin for it in world war ii so you know what that would make it actually on
they can't ever add dwarfs because it would just it would just be the odd job situation from the Bond game.
Do you remember that?
This is where your mind goes?
Yeah, because I don't really care as long as the hitboxes are the same.
But you remember that one asshole friend who would always pick odd job,
even though you had rules of you can't play with odd job.
Maybe they would put them on stilts if they're tiny.
And then they have these... That could be a character, actually.
Like a dwarf
on
robotic legs.
I don't know.
Those dwarf spiders
in Skyrim.
What about Warhammer where he's sitting on the throne
but he's got four smaller dwarves just carrying him around
everywhere he goes?
This is a way better Call of Duty we're imagining.
World War II, you're a magic lizard man.
But I heard what they were doing in the other direction
was that they were adding back in the swastikas,
because I know in the last World War II COD,
they just used the Iron Cross and removed all the swastikas.
It's so stupid.
Everybody knows what the team the Germans are on.
Well, apparently not.
Well, they don't do that.
I think they added the Swastikas in, but they
took away all
country denominations, so it's just
your team versus the enemy
team. You know
what team it is. You know what I mean?
Did people complain about that?
I don't know. All I know is
skill-based matchmaking is in it, so it's going to fucking suck.
I can give a shit about the rest of the stuff.
I haven't played multiplayer in so long.
I guess since... What was the first
Battle Royale that they came out with?
Was that Blackout?
Black Ops 4, yeah. I played a lot of Blackout.
I enjoyed that a good bit.
Just playing with full parties.
Since then, all I've done is Zombies.
Yeah, Zombies is good.
Zombies is... It's too easy now uh though
i mean it's it's fun it's it but it's it's a lot more casual and i kind of always played it
casually anyway so i don't mind but if i were like a hardcore zombies player i don't think i
would like this one very much because i'm just okay at zombies and i've never been beaten by
zombies i just eventually get tired of playing zombies zombies. I do get bored after a while as well,
and I kind of just sleepily throw, if that makes sense.
Yeah, or we'll throw it away where it's like,
all right, everybody back into this corner,
and let's see how long we can hold them here.
We'll make it fun, but at the same time, we're like,
is it bedtime?
There's a lot to do.
It's easier, but there's a lot to do Easter egg-wise. If you lot to do like easter egg wise so if you're like a
hardcore guy i don't i don't really do the easter eggs um if you're a hardcore guy yeah i mean
people still like it but it is easier because you got more you have way more tools and uh ways
you to carry like not so good you know people that you'll match up with as well or yeah like
the ethers the different ether shrouds or whatever are ridiculous and then the armor alone
is ridiculous the armor alone is ridiculous.
The armor and then Juggernaut both.
Yeah, it's pretty nuts.
Yeah, those stacking together.
And then the Wonder Weapons are all good.
The Rake is just okay.
But this last map has so many good spots to train.
And you can hit those zip lines and stuff and get out of jail free card.
I don't know.
It's really, really easy.
Is it easier than the first map?
I haven't played a lot
of the newer maps, but the first map's
pretty damn easy.
I think they're equally easy,
more or less. It's easier to
memorize the first map, I think, because
it's really simple. The most
recent map, it's like the streets of some
German city, I think. It's a little
more complicated because there's
rooftop, street level
and uh underground so you've kind of got to memorize the paths but you get it down cool cool
i mean the x-fill thing is pretty cool yeah i'm adding x-fill because like yeah i used to i remember
playing like the world at war the original zombies and like you would you wouldn't want to let
yourself die you'd be like well i mean i'm already at level 60 i'm not just gonna back into a corner where it was with x fill
you can kind of be like hey let's play a quick 90 minute game of zombies which is quick for zombies
and you get and you get stuff and you get stuff when you do like you get rewards when you do that
so something i don't like but it obviously has to remain this way, is so much of Zombies, at least for me,
is like, oh boy, I got the wonder weapon.
Now the whole game is just me using
the wonder weapon in a fun way.
There's only one of the really good
wonder weapons now, and it's been that way for a while.
I don't even think there's four ray guns
to go around anymore. Not even a baseline
special weapon for people to have that everyone can get.
You can get four ray guns, yeah.
I was in a game where I was.
It's hard, but yeah, you can do it.
Maybe they're rarer, because I haven't
gotten one from a box in
the, what, dozen games I've played of zombies.
There's a lot of luck. You know how it is.
Literally, the last game we
played, the other two guys, Scum
and Middy, were complaining about the Wonder Weapon situation.
They thought, I think I should have it.
The other was like, I think I should have it for whatever reason.
I think Middy had opened it and Scum had just went yoink and taken it.
Oh, what a bitch.
But I was like, I had a ray gun and I pulled the ray gun.
And then two things later, I pulled another ray gun.
And I'm like, somebody just take one of these free ray guns.
And then I pulled it again and pulled another ray gun.
Like I pulled three ray guns out of 10 pulls or something.
Sometimes it's ridiculous like that.
Sometimes I've had games where I go
through 70,000 points trying to
just get a decent
golden weapon or something like that.
I like the addition of
the special zombies, but
they've gone almost too far with it.
The ratio of normal
zombies to special ones
should be a lot higher.
Because once you get to those late levels,
you're not even killing a horde of zombies anymore.
You're fighting off four witches
and a guy in a Bioshock suit.
And it's like, this is barely zombies at this point.
So if they could make those a little rarer
and try and kill you the way they used to,
where it was just like, oh, round round 30 it's just fucking even more zombies like just even more zombies
with no i agree with you because there are so many of those which which things and like you said the
guy in the bioshock suit and it's it's nuts and then you've got your robot you've called in that
you're you're fucking nazi robot named klaus so like there's just a lot of shit happening on the
screen and the flying sucks because like there's no just a lot of shit happening on the screen.
And the flying sucks because like,
there's no worse thing to have to do all the time than to like aim your whole POV up when you're fighting the ground zombies.
Cause you can win like two seconds,
get fucked up or stumble over yourself.
I love the wonder weapon though.
It is cool.
Something on aiming to like,
uh,
maybe it's just where I practice,
but if someone's on the plane
that aiming i'm very good at if i have to add a third dimension and start shooting
insects out of the sky or whatever it's so much harder especially when they have like weird
like deceleration and like they don't move consistently it'll be like a cessna
just come nice and steady as I shoot your way.
Just turns on a dime.
Overall, it's good.
I'm surprised more people haven't just jumped solely to zombies for Call of Duty.
Because the only thing I hear about Call of Duty is from...
Granted, I only hear about Call of Duty from Call of Duty commentators.
And those are the people most likely to fucking hate Call of Duty.
Yeah, well, you know.
So you found that it's a profitable business
model to just fuss about the games people are because people watching your stuff care about cod
yeah so they watch you shit on what they care about if you like blasted my favorite brand of
motorcycle i would stop watching you it's just before you before you answer that i was i was
looking at your channel you're like
skill-based or your your video is just called hutch is an idiot and and then uh like hutch
had a video on his channel called actually skill-based matchmaking is good and your video
had like over 5 000 likes like maybe 150 200 dislikes his video 322 likes 176 dislikes so
it seems that the overwhelming overwhelming majority of people
are on the same page of prioritized connection oh you know what let me stop you're like trump
right now and you need to stop this fucking retard get this he thinks that it should skill
based matchmaking that's what they call it folks that's what they call it it's it's socialism um so the way i do it is so how i am on the show with you
guys this is me but on a commentary i like take me and i pretend i am doing a professional
wrestling like interview like i'm the rocker stone cold steve austin so i do that and then even though i'm complaining
i'm i'm fucking right like everything i'm bitching about is fucking right so even if you like the
game you want to see it better you know what i mean it's like uh it's like you're like a coach
for a basketball team he's not gonna praise you what he's not gonna praise you for what you did
right he's gonna tell you what you did wrong so you can improve. You know what I mean?
Kind of like that.
So even though it's meant to be funny, but the game does really suck.
I do wish it would be better.
So I'm just going to keep doing it because the next one's coming out.
It's going to be so fucking shit.
It's going to be the worst one probably.
You better hope.
Oh, I know.
I already played the beta.
It just depends on it.
What if it is just flawlessly? You better hope. I already played the beta. It just depends on it.
What if it is just flawless?
I'm going to play it on stream. I'm going to go back to streaming.
So you're
not streaming.
Look, at this point, you're
12, 13 years into this job.
You do it
like any professional does this job.
It's not a passion project anymore.
I guess you found streaming is less profitable than YouTube
because most people find the flip.
I was streaming Call of Duty when it was good.
Cold War and Modern Warfare, to an extent,
sucked so fucking bad that I didn't play them on stream.
And I just said, you know what?
I'm not playing this shit unless I
have to. I'm not playing this shit
four hours a day on stream or I'll blow my brains out.
I could make more
money if I streamed and did YouTube,
but I can't do it.
You can't do it.
It's a mental health decision, right? It really is.
It really is. People think I'm joking and I'm kind of being funny and I am,
but I am playing that shitty fucking game four hours a day.
Like every day.
I think escape from Tarkov is a good game,
but there are a lot of streamers who are just thirsting for something else to
do.
The rate at which they release new maps,
new content is pretty slow.
Yeah.
And they're like,
I've done everything
i've gotten into a battle in every part of every map there is nothing new to me and they're like
when this map drops then you know i'll be excited about playing again and i think to myself
no when this map drops you'll go from having like deep knowledge of 100 of this game to like 95
it's just one new map you're putting a lot of eggs in that basket but so
people that stream uh people that get popular for streaming one thing it's it's it can be really
hard to switch you know what i mean like if they're just fucking burn out on tarkov what do you do like at least with call of duty i can go back and grab or play like an old
call of duty for a gameplay you know i can grab like an old gameplay or go back and get something
else and that still works but with like something like tarkov what do you do if you're fucking tired
of it you know what i mean? What's the alternative there?
When people watch you for the gameplay,
then
it's a tough spot to be in.
It seems like a dream at first,
but then it turns into this
nightmare of Groundhog Day.
You have to do the same thing again and again
and again.
It's like, oh, guys,
you sure you don't want to watch me play fall guys or something something casual yeah no um i had that same issue i got uh i got really
addicted to the friday the 13th game when that came out okay and uh i'm like i'm gonna play this
regardless of if people like it or not because i'm a huge fan of the movies and the game game
was fucking awesome.
I played that shit for, like, I don't know,
about a month, two months,
and I noticed each stream,
just less and less viewers,
less and less viewers,
and I'm like, holy shit,
like, I can't have fucking fun with this. Like, I gotta go back to playing
shitty fucking Call of Duty or something.
Oh, dude, if I stream myself playing Magic,
Magic the Gathering,
and that's my favorite game.
My favorite.
I mean, calling it a video game isn't really fair.
It's not like I'm gaming better than them.
It is a video game, but it's not about reaction time or anything.
And so people get bored as shit so quickly.
And most comments are like, make fun of hoarders. There's something like that.
So I feel you.
I had an awakening on my stream, call it like a year or two ago.
And anyway, when people watch my stream, I genuinely like care and want good things for them.
I have text to speech.
So they'll pay $3 and often ask like a life question.
How do you know when it's time to get married um should i buy pmi on my mortgage you know or put 20 percent down
like this is the shit they ask me and i do my best to answer and at some point like somebody
was being an asshole or whatever and i was like guys like collectively you're not being a good
friend i do everything i can to help you and then you shit on me and the guy's like woody we're not friends you're a content creator on my
screen we're not friends and i'm like that's true why did i need to be told that he's so right
i'm an idiot he basically this guy he thinks we're friends
he should have said it should have said dance monkey like right yeah and and like it
it was it shouldn't have been i should be an adult who knows i've been doing this a decade
i was like yeah that actually was news to me i'm a dumb person you say it's a tear like goes
yeah uh so kyle how i thank god you have your dr peppers yeah back up yeah yeah yeah we're good did fish
bring him no i never ran out he was just offering if the if you know if this one runs dry he's there
like a pit crew i feel like we have not mentioned the fact that you are a free man in colorado to
us it seems like we did pkn but most people didn't see that. Oh, those people.
Check out the Patreon for PKN.
An extra hour of the three of us
retards. Oh, the best hour.
The best hour. The one we try on.
Yeah, this
shit sucks.
But it sucks by design.
To make you go buy the good stuff.
You might not know it,
but we do PN shirtless.
Yeah, that's true.
At least Woody always does.
And pantsless.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So I landed in Colorado on Saturday,
and I've just been real high ever since.
Having a great time.
I did do Delta 8 before I came out here
because I wanted to be able to compare the two.
Delta 8 to me is just as strong as like anything else.
There was the gap after midnight where you were free but still in Atlanta.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So I tried that Delta 8 stuff and it was still – it was really, really strong.
Really strong.
I got a Delta 8 vape and then when I got here, I compared it to like a strong marijuana vape.
And I think the Delta 8 is at least as strong and maybe even fucking stronger. and then um you know when i got here i compared it to like a strong marijuana vape and i think
the delta 8 is at least as strong and maybe even fucking stronger it was so goddamn strong i meant
to mention it on pkn because you were like because you talked about how like before you smoked like
you weren't that into vapes you liked like the concentrates like using a dab rig and it's like
it was funny thinking like you were out of the game for so long that technology increased to the point that like you're hitting it.
You're like, it's just like taking a dab.
Yeah.
It's in a pen.
Like, yeah.
I mean, being out of the weed world for four years is like, I mean, like this is the burgeoning industry.
Like it's changed.
It's like one of those prisoners that are like, dude, phones have screens now.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
My phones are gone.
Yeah. phones have screens now yeah yeah yeah phones are gone yeah for those who don't know what you're talking about like when i was smoking a lot of weed five years ago or whatever it seemed to me
that like vape pens were like weak sauce it was like an electronic joint essentially you told me
i hadn't even been high i'm not sure you have but i mean i i want to believe um i'm kind of just just like you know kind of molder
in the x-files kind of kind of thought process a two-hour point um you're gonna go get you know
hydrated yeah you get hydrated right um so but yeah it seemed to me at least like five years
ago when i i would smoke a vape pen out here that like it was kind of weak sauce it was kind of like
a a really weak joint that you had to hit like 10 times to get stoned and even then it was kind of
this like like head high not not really a body high it was kind of a giggly high but um the one
that I got out here immediately like a $60 one gram pen um It is more like a dab rig or something.
It's what it feels like to me.
Granted it's either that technology has advanced and they just literally are
stronger or I just have no sense of like any tolerance whatsoever.
Cause not only does it a small amount get me really stoned,
but it lasts for like three or four hours,
which is something I'm not accustomed to.
So that's in blame truth yeah do you have the expertise to compare marijuana to delta eight because
kyle's opinion doesn't match what i read online yeah i definitely do i do not no i do not uh
it's like i feel like delta eight is more it's I feel like there's almost like a cap on it, like a ceiling.
Like you need to get, like take a ton of it.
And I've definitely taken too many Delta eight edibles before and like woken up the next day and been like, Oh, I'm still definitely high.
But it, it's not as strong as regular edibles or regular weed.
Cause like I've eaten like 50 milligram edibles of like real shit when
i'm out in colorado and i'm real fucking high for a lot of people that's a huge amount for a lot of
people that's fucking nothing like that's how the tolerance thing works but i'm like i'll like get
to like a borderline i'm really uncomfortable and then get away from that and be back to normal
whereas like 50 milligrams of delta-8 like i'm i'm fucking hunky dory it's gonna if
there's no mind aspect to it really like it's not very mental it's just like a body buzz physical
like relaxation high um so i i almost prefer it more honestly like i didn't i didn't understand
if it were if it were legal if regular weed were legal here i'd switch to regular weed if it was the same cost
but delta eight's cheaper than the shit in colorado like kyle like you have that one gram
thing for 60 bucks a one gram thing here with delta eight is like 30 bucks i got like one of
these for like 29.99 what is and they this is the same gum it's a little vape. Delta 8 vape.
And this is a one gram one.
They last.
This is still half full.
I've had this for weeks.
And it was $30 and you had it for weeks?
It's not the only one I have.
But yeah, these last a super long time.
Because again, you don't want to just sit and rip it all day.
I'll take a hit.
It's one of those things where sometimes you have a stressful day and it's like damn i'm gonna hit that pen a million times and i'm gonna soar off into the sky and then like you sit down you hit it once maybe twice and then like two
hours later it's like oh yeah i was gonna hit it a lot it's uh what form was i just assumed that
you had a delta 8 vape pen but i don't think you ever said
what it was yeah yeah yeah i i um i got this little uh it was a like shaped like an oval
uh this vape pen uh from my local like um vape shop and uh i took one hit and it didn't really
work like it wasn't heated up yet and i took. So I took a second that actually did work.
And that was enough to get me so... Just coughing my lungs out and salivating to the point where I'm spitting in the sink and throwing cold water in my face.
It was never that harsh again.
But that first hit was super duper harsh.
Yeah.
It made me cough.
It was like burning some plastic out of the way to like get to the Delta.
Who knows that that shit's not FDA approved. Nobody's looking over their shoulder.
There could be anything in there. That's that's the real.
I do know that I as far as people who have like really high weed tolerances, I have one friend who used to smoke an insane amount and he had to stop because of some job thing.
And then he switched to Delta eight of some job thing when then he
switched to delta eight which you'll still piss hot on delta eight so uh but for him like he needed
like three times the amount of delta eight to get to the same level as weed like and maybe that's
like a specific tolerance thing it's weird it's it's it's like your tolerance varies so much
whereas with like booze like like, you know, it,
it doesn't.
Did someone tell me,
maybe it was Taylor,
but I'm not sure that if you build up a Delta eight tolerance, that doesn't cross over to pot and vice versa.
Yeah.
Someone was telling us that.
Yeah.
Like just anecdotally,
like when,
when I was on vacation and smoked after doing nothing but Delta eight for a
while,
just a couple hits off of the joint or,
or a blunt.
And I was like too high so yeah oh so your tolerance recovered while you did delta a that
because i went and i was i was like we have solved how like a tolerance break sucks
literally yeah we don't do tolerance breaks we just rotate crops we just switch drugs we just
yeah it's great and like i could the biggest edge it has over weed is the price at least here it is
so much fucking cheaper than like even at the dispensary because i've looked online at like
if you get your medical card what the dispensary is like a friend of mine has it and it is easily twice as
much for the same amount at the dispensary yeah um but again you know it's not regulated and we're
not 100 sure what the fuck's in there um which is a little scary i think i'm gonna do some research
online when i get back to like find a more reputable uh like delta 8 source or like company
maybe somebody who does yeah find a good brand that makes you
like the gas stations not no that's like i went i went to a vape shop oh you did okay i don't i
thought it was like they sell it at gas stations they do sell at gas stations but i went to the
vape shop because i felt like it might be a more reputable brand if it came out of a glass case
instead of like some guy reaching back behind the lotto tickets you might be right i never considered this like when i buy a monster energy drink
because i'm driving tired i never consider how reputable the source is no no i guess not that's
because there's no brands with this stuff i mean there are but i don't recognize them so this could
be the coca-cola of uh of delta 8 or it could be like the Hyundai. I don't know.
That's a thing. I went to well, there's a gas station
kind of near me that
best way I can put it is
everything in the store is like expired.
I wish I was joking.
These things have to be 18 years old when they're
Fritos.
I mean, it's everything in the store.
I got some of those
sour punch straws. They're kind of chewy.
You ever had them?
Yeah, when I was like eight.
Fuck it, man. They're good.
These were
hard as a rock. I could have wrapped them
around my hand and used them as brass
knuckles or something. It was
insane. Super expired i still
ate them though fuck it i mean candy i don't know the candy really does expire it probably doesn't
i'm gonna tell myself that at least but neither is canned food out there you know i like to give
a little public service announcement announcement occasionally we've told i've told people a lot
about salt and the non-dangers of it um And then my blood pressure went up. Yeah.
Come on. You got better genetics than Woody though, right guys?
You're not some salt sensitive Nancy
that can't handle a little
more salt on your potato.
Half a hundred are on the
calendar either.
That's true.
But also
the... Oh shit. What were you talking about?
Lost my train of thought.
Delta 8 brands.
He's talking about the candy.
Oh, canned food.
Canned food never gets old.
Canned food has expiration dates on it, like those cans of soup
and stuff, or green beans.
That's just a trick by a big can to make you buy new ones.
They had to put something there.
They could just write,
who knows?
And that's the truth, though 75 years and those peas are still good well it's like uh there's those channels on youtube they eat those what old mre yeah yeah and i mean the way i would
the way i would do it is like if something was i probably there's something about the date though
uh i think i told you guys about this,
but my mom has a problem with expired food,
not throwing it out.
Like,
and so anytime I see a date,
that's like more than six months,
you know,
at,
at,
at a date,
I just throw it out.
Even if it's soup,
I just,
it's some kind of mental thing.
Like I've gotten diarrhea too much from my mom.
So,
Oh God.
Yeah.
Um,
I think that went out of context.
Yeah. That's pretty rough, but it's North Carolina, so, you know.
Did she ever get her hoarding more under control?
Mm-mm.
No.
No, I have a picture.
I don't have it on hand right now.
That's good.
Yeah.
It's the most disgusting.
It would turn your stomach if you saw it.
Oh, no.
What, just a messy house? No. She try me look at all that laundry i might grab it i might grab it a second but no she started uh fucking she she was convinced
there was going to be some kind of food shortage or some shit.
And she started like canning food herself, like jarring it herself.
And I went over to her house one day.
She didn't do it right?
One, she didn't do right.
And it smelled like fucking, it smelled like a dead body.
No, no, that was the dead body.
Okay.
That was the dead body. Okay. That was your uncle. She had like 30 fucking jars of just the most disgusting.
It looks like the Texas Chainsaw Massacre.
What was she canning?
Beef?
Like chicken and beef.
Yes.
Really?
Yes.
And it wouldn't be that bad.
It wouldn't be that bad.
You think I'm joking? You feel like emptying a can of chicken to
put in your preserves jar to to make it last you'll do stuff like that and uh it won't be that
bad but the entire fucking basement she's already done that like it's already the basement's full
yeah so now it's just full upstairs like i it's it's it's bad is food her thing yes okay she thinks those are some of the roughest hoarders
based on the show like the more easy ones to deal with they're like a guy who just loves knickknacks
like there's no way to yeah is there a way is there no way to channel that into like something
like like like constructive like gardening she gardens as well but she gardens oh well i i knew she would but
like i figured like that could be the focus or like like like like maybe if you take it to even
a bigger level like like mate would she love being a farmer like she is she is oh yeah that's the
okay she oh no she takes every like she has um so i have a fireplace behind me in my living room and i haven't
used it yet but i'm gonna try to use it this uh winter you know just because it's fun and my mom
i was thinking like i can go chop my own wood whatever but my mom has i would say a small
forest worth of firewood she has hoarded over the years so I can just go grab some anytime I want.
In some instances, it's good
like that, but then
when am I ever going to eat nasty fucking chicken
that's been in a jar?
Mom, do you have
a jar of chicken
feed that I can borrow?
Do I
ever?
You can literally buy potted beef at the store you can but she thinks the stores are gonna
like lose she's conspiracy theory like she's like i don't know alex jones problem with hoarding
is that they put a lot of value on shit that doesn't have much value so they keep it they
store it and i give jackie a hard time when she keeps stuff i'm like
when are we ever gonna need that yeah yeah but on occasion that woman is right and i hate it
because it validates her messiness from time to time and she's not all that bad but
for the purpose of the show and uh like we were we got colin a trampoline for his birthday
and uh the guys that put it together broke this great big
spring.
And sure enough, she reaches into the
depths of garbage and is like,
I have just what we need.
And it's this spring.
That extra trampoline spring
from a decade ago.
I told you it was good we brought this in the move
dude there is no
she literally moved
with an old trampoline spring
I don't know where it came from or why
we had it but we had it
you've never had a trampoline before?
no this is our first
what she said that's childhood
every little girl
when she's 8 gets an extra trampoline spring in our family.
And today mine is.
That is so bizarre.
I thought you meant that she kept one that came with the kit,
not that she happened upon a trampoline spring and thought,
someday I'll meet a man who buys our child a trampoline.
The people that assembled our trampoline
stretched one of the springs too far.
And you know how that works.
But too far doesn't go back.
And sure enough, she saved the day.
Yikes.
Well, we got that photo.
She's been proven right now.
Now she's got that over you.
Agreed.
BT sent the photo to Zach so you can put that up
for us it's it's it's two of them uh a close-up and then like a wide shot of how many jars she
has her basement no this is her this is her kitchen oh no oh god no this is oh chainsaw
massacre 4 i told you you know what that looks like that looks like Snape's office in Harry Potter. It does. It's bad.
What are the white ones?
I don't know. I don't know.
I'm not sure you believe it's right.
They all started brown.
They all started clear.
Now, I am not a canner, but I know that's not how you do it.
I'm not a canner.
What are you spying?
What is wrong with it?
Okay.
Well, what's wrong with it?
I mean, generally, you don't jar meat.
Generally, you're, like, making preserves.
Like, I know from an ex of mine who had a very Mormon family,
like, Mormons are big on, like, jarring
and, like, making their own preserves and stuff. It's just something they like to do and so i like watched them do it
and all of it was just like saving vegetables from their garden and they'd done it for long
enough that it was all like right yeah veggies like like green beans and you know green beans
tomatoes like definitely not chunks of chicken or pickled but things that you could things that
pickle well right like obviously cucumbers and, but like asparagus and onions and that sort of thing.
And I know people who would can tomatoes, but I have never outside of like the scariest of gas stations seen hunks of meat in a jar.
I think there was a human foot in one of those no no the only thing I can think of and this is a bad thought but I was just like
when this woman
passes away I'm going to have to throw away so much
fucking rotting like food
it's going to be disgusting
yeah throw the whole
jar away there's no way you can open those jars
there's no way I'm going to no
we burn the house
it's it's bad she was convinced she lost a safe
there was a safe no i'm not no no not even lost she was convinced that someone stole it
this is a common thing with her she has so much shit that she's convinced that someone steals
this like one thing and i'm like if someone broke in
and stole stuff they would have stole more than just a safe you know what i mean like yeah it
doesn't look like they would have stolen anything no no you can't you're like i gotta get out of
here i don't want to end up in those jars like the last guy you tried this maybe they're like a
like a warning thing people break in they see those jars and they're like fuck this man like
i mean i mean let's be real.
If you broke into that house and you came in through the kitchen door, you're creeping through, the moonlight is coming through the windows and it's illuminating jars.
Dozens and dozens of jars full of meat.
You cast your gaze around the room and you see the state that it is in.
You turn around and you walk the fuck out.
This person has enough problems
without me burglarizing them.
I like the idea that you go into a house.
It's a total wreck. It's a disaster.
And you just leave 20 bucks
and leave.
Honestly, it looks like
I hope things turn around.
It looks like
if she woke up in the morning
and she had been robbed,
that could be a great step forward.
No, it would.
She has...
So her actual house is
decently...
Aside from the jars,
it's decent right now.
Aside from one room. There's one room that's really fucking bad.
The room she lost the safe in.
But she has
these...
It's still there. Yeah, we found it.
She has these...
You lose a whole safe.
I used to believe you could
walk in it and it stored guns.
She's got...
I'll do a video for the next
time I'm on here, just so you guys can
see.
Uh, I don't think she doesn't know how the internet works or she won't know.
But, um, so she has like three, three storage buildings on her property full of shit.
Uh, yeah.
Three.
Yeah.
Maybe four.
I might be miscounting, but there's at least three.
One is the size.
I swear to God of of a studio apartment.
It's big.
If we cleared it out, I could turn it
into a bachelor pad if I wanted to.
It's that big.
So much fucking shit.
It just
has something to do with...
She was poor growing up,
so maybe that's it.
She's like Mr. Krabs. I don't know.
That's how I always see it.
SpongeBob, it's normal to jar chicken.
You guys see everything is irreplaceable, so they place a lot of value on it.
In reality.
But if I were to say to you, hey, I've got a thing.
It's the size of a mini fridge.
Why don't you hold on to it for four years in case you ever need it you'd be like that thing is worth four dollars i'll just throw
it away and buy one if i ever do need it i mean food it it seems like like food hoarding is like
the most common one for people that grew up poor it's food hoarding but uh as an example so we went
to uh my mom's got my mom's a contractor so she's got
this like discount card at lowe's hardware so she gets like five percent off all her purchases or
some shit frequent buyer discount so i'm like hey come with me to lowe's i need a new fridge mine's
like 15 years old i need your help we go to lowe's and she's like trying to i swear to god she's
trying to like haggle the cost of the fridge down like she's at a
car dealership um work no she's already getting a discount and the guy's like ma'am i just i just
work here like i'm not and i'm like mom this is not a pawn shop get mr depot on the phone
call mr lowes please They have a word.
No, we get it.
Right.
And I'm like, that's a little odd, but it's not a character like she's cheap.
You know, she wants the fucking best deal constantly.
What's weird is that.
So Lowe's will, if you guys ever had a have had a fridge or like an appliance delivered, they'll take off the old appliance.
Right.
My mom's like, no, don, they'll take off the old appliance. Right. My mom's like,
no, don't,
don't take off the old fridge.
I'm like,
mom,
it sounds like a fucking demons inside of it.
When it turns off,
like it,
you know,
the,
the springs are worn out.
It barely works.
I'm like,
it's about to fucking like blow up.
And she's like,
no,
I want it.
And I'm like,
are you going to pay me for it?
And she's like,
yeah,
I'll pay you like 30 bucks.
And I'm like,
okay.
So I just hulked it out and put it on the front porch there.
It's like 30 bucks, whatever.
I'm like, she doesn't need it.
I'm thinking about taking it to the dump.
Someone should steal the refrigerator off her front porch as a favor.
Nobody's going to want it.
It's a piece of shit.
It barely works.
Oh, okay.
She needs that tape.
That's not the right way to do it but yeah i wish you could somehow convince her that junk is junk i have tried so hard to do because it's like an ingrained like but but what it when the time
comes i don't have food and like yeah like if it's like that's your fixation i get it
like especially if you grew up poor. But those houses get gruesome.
The food porters are so...
The people who collect dolls, yeah, they're strange.
But they're dolls.
You can just pick them up and remove them.
Whereas food, it becomes a hazard.
What if you drop one of those?
It'd be like a dirty bomb.
I was
going to say
there's, I think in that picture
actually, there's one you can
see the one that's spoiled. It's the one that's brown
with the white murky shit on top of it.
Can you put the picture back up again, Zach?
Canning is a
pretty in-depth process.
You have to sterilize the inside of the jars
by boiling them first. The first thing you need is edible food. Exactly. pretty in-depth process right you have to sterilize the inside of the jars by uh pre like like by by
boiling them first first thing you need is edible food it's all right so yeah that's that's some
sort of mold or some other bacteria growth that she's got going on in there because it wasn't
properly sterilized the one to the left of that one though let's go to that fleshy one that looks
like that looks like it looks like she just like... Is that pig intestines?
I don't... Dude, honestly,
I didn't ask.
I just said, hey,
something in here smells like shit. Don't ask.
Don't ask. I'm not gonna ask.
Don't ever let her know you're suspicious.
No, I'm not gonna... No, because she'll try to give me some, and I don't
fucking want it.
The one third to the right.
No, Mom, I can't take this.
I have to pay you something.
The one behind the white one has more white on top.
The two to the right of the other one that has white on top.
I can't figure out what the fuck kind of meat is in that one third.
It's chicken, right?
The tall white one?
Oh, God.
I think it's chicken.
With the skin still on it.
Here's the thing.
She has food that
she has food that's so old
that she has in freezers and shit.
She might have run out of room
so she's canning this
20-year-old frozen chicken
out of the freezer.
It's canned,
freezer-burned, decade-old chicken?
That's lost its shape.
Yeah, it looks like intestines now.
I think that's most of this because it's bad, guys.
Chicken qualifies for an antique license plate.
No, like I found a ham that could vote one time in a fridge.
18-year-old ham.
I swear to God, 18-year-old ham.
Chicken can rent a car.
Yeah.
I mean, it's one time, uh, is when I first got my like YouTube paycheck, I was still
living at home.
I was like 18, 19.
So I went to the store and I got some, I got some fucking groceries, you know?
Um, and I came back and I'm like, wait, there's no fucking room in this fridge or freezer.
And I'm like, okay, I'm going to go.
What's the logical thing you do?
You go through, you get the expired stuff out, you throw it away.
So I did that.
My mom comes home and you would have think she had seen a ghost.
She starts digging the stuff out of the trash.
And it's already like thawing and it's not.
It's already thawing.
And she's like, no, don't throw away the stuff.
It's still good.
And I'm like, what are you talking about? Like it's like thawing and she's like no don't throw away the stuff it's still good and i'm like what are you talking about like there's it's it's like 15 years old you know
and it smells like shit and she would just like no no no no like we can't do that and she goes and
like puts it in this secret fucking freezer i didn't know about she's got another freezer
full of shit she puts it in that she's got a secret freezer so no but i can't let anybody
get on to me let's
take the picture down take it off it's disgusting i've had enough of that for for the evening um
we're laughing about this but it really is a serious issue no it is it is uh i thought i i
think within five years i'm going to have to do something. I don't know what.
Yeah. Yeah. Cause it's getting worse. Uh, it's getting worse. It can't be normal. It's not
normal yet. And I know I've asked you this question before, but I'm sure you're, you're,
you're careful, like, like in your own life to make sure that like, uh, when's that expire
tomorrow? Let's go and get that out of here
let's go oh yeah i'm gonna wait no when i got the new fridge uh i just went through and i'm like ah
this sauce expired like three months ago let's throw it the fuck out you know i don't need it
like yeah i'll buy a new i'll buy i don't need it i don't know yeah like like it reminds me the
clips on the show where like there was like some guy will like be collecting food and like his fucking sister who
comes from you know across the country like by the time you're like 35 minutes in and it's the
end and he hasn't changed his mind they're like it's they're like weeping like it's but it's all
crap it's all useless garbage john don't you see that you going to choose this canned ham from 1981 over your son?
And he's like, we don't know when you might need that ham.
He's like, where's that ham at the store?
It's at the store.
No, that's – everybody kind of has that.
You know what I mean?
Like that.
It's at the store.
That's a thing where you want to go you sometimes go overboard like you think you need
more than you do like uh yeah just recently i bought i bought myself a nice watch and i'm like
okay well i need a watch for this situation this situation yada yada yada and i'm like if i'm not
careful though i'm gonna end up with like 15 fucking watches you know what i mean 20 watches
then i can only wear one at a time so i'm like i gotta make these ground rules patently false okay well you just
i ground rules are like uh i can only have five at a time if i get more if i get a new one i gotta
sell the old one and that's been like the rule i've kind of gone with anything like shoes uh
fucking clothes watches food you know what i mean anything
like that like what you're saying is i need two more motorcycles exactly that's it no more than
that though it's solid advice to prevent hoarding i'll get to purchase i need i'm gonna hit my five
limits sooner or later sooner damn that that you said as a kid it wasn't quite like it right it wasn't that bad as a kid uh
my dad passed away when i was younger so i think that put her into super like survival mode you
know after that because it's gradually gotten worse and now she watches like a lot of a lot
of news and a lot of conspiracy theory stuff um so it's just it's just
it just keeps getting worse and i'm like i'm probably gonna have to have a vax yes oh dude
yes but she she is convinced my my uncle is now like a magnet, like a human magnet because of the vaccine.
Because he's vaccinated and you get magnetic afterwards.
That's what she says.
And they're like,
she's talking about how she's like sticking metal to him or whatever.
This was over the summer.
And I'm like,
mom,
like you ever licked a spoon and like put it on your nose?
Like it's this,
it's hot as shit.
When he leans like this, it sticks right on there.
He's like,
that's more of a gravity thing.
I'm looking on just like Reddit.
There are like huge forums with like almost 50,000 people about hoarding,
but it's people like support groups of people who have to deal with it in their life.
Does she recognize on any level that it is a problem what she's doing?
And she'll be like, I shouldn't be doing this.
Or is it like, no, this is all essential preparation for when the stores are out of food.
I think she's somewhat self-aware because
at one point you couldn't get up in her attic
because she had so much shit that it was coming down and covering the stairs jesus but she like she'll eventually get it get rid of stuff to where
she could walk up the stairs like she'll declutter the house but put it somewhere else right she's
just organized efficiently right so she'll organize it's not like it's not like there's
like those jars aren't all across the
floor you know like they're in a neat kind of area on the counter and she'll move them to the basement
but there's a certain point where she'll stop like organizing and buy another storage space
so i don't know she realizes how bad it is i've tried to tell her and i've tried to be like you
don't need all this shit like when you pass away i'm just gonna throw it away like you can't take it with you
yeah so how old is she um 60 i believe yes 61 i think she just turned 61 yes and she doesn't she
doesn't hoard anything but food so she doesn't like keep knickknacks and shit around it's stuff
too yeah she hoards clothes uh food uh anything really
like she's trying to hoard this 15 year old nearly broken fridge and what about cats does she have
any cats no cats no pets her things are like inanimate objects that's good okay yeah like
like a dead cat that has been almost like turned into coal.
They'll discover those.
We used to have bets on my streams and we'd watch and make fun of the show hoarders about how many dead cats there would be by the end of the episode.
I think the worst animal episode ever was there were like 13 dead rabbits, a hand like of four dead cats.
Oh, yeah. dead rabbits a hand like a four dead cats uh it oh yeah they kept having to like fish rabbits out of the wall oh no because they kept finding more and more rabbits living in the wall
because the woman was like i have all my rabbits and they are well taken care of and they like
take them out there and there's like a vet on the scene like i've never seen anything like these
and they're like and he's like he just has rabbit pattern baldness
no it's because he's living in a old clorox container you cut out
wait wait did did this not i mean this is probably a stupid question did this not smell
fucking terrible like if there's it is it was one of the times like matt paxton the
hoarder's guy he walked in he's like let's see what let's see what we have here because god damn like that's
one thing i had a squirrel die in my fucking attic once and that smelled you know yeah um and that
was one smell the decaying rabbit over the probably inch and a half of of actual rabbit shit that coated the entire floor
like you looked taller standing in that room than outside because of like the level of grime and
little so that's so awful i can't watch those shows like like like like those shows make me
feel so bad it's bad but at the same time uh i don't even have to watch the shows. I have a friend.
I just saw her, I don't know, five days ago.
So we've been friends for a long time, but she won't let me go in her house.
The reason being, and she's self-aware.
She'll be like, it's like a hoarding nightmare.
So she's self-aware about it.
She understands it's a thing. And she try to like get a hold on it,
but she,
she can't.
What if she's really just been holding her mother hostage for like a decade?
I mean,
it could be,
it could be,
but her yard's pretty bad too.
So I believe her like,
uh,
you know,
if I pick her up,
maybe it's the yard man,
she's holding hostage.
Maybe it could be,
but,
uh,
yeah,
it's,
it's weird.
There's two dynamics.
There's the people that know it's a problem and still do it and then there's like my mom who probably
doesn't realize it's as bad as it is but and i think my whole family is that way actually like
every aunt and uncle is kind of similar so i think it's just accepting yeah that's that's wild yeah
i i i've never seen that in real life. I've had messy relatives.
But whenever we've had a relative die, when we went over there to, like, clean the place.
In my family, it's never like, let's divvy everything up.
All of the valuables.
Yeah, let's make a big pile of the jewels.
And the heirlooms.
Okay, we got it.
All right, here's the pile.
All right.
Here's some guns, I bet.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Stuff like that.
But it's always just a mess to clean up.
And it's like, where did Grandma get this pistol
she always had up here, apparently?
Now we've got this random...
They always push tools on me.
Woody likes tools.
Woody fixes things.
Woody probably wants this. And it's me. Woody likes tools. Woody fixes things. Woody probably wants this.
And it's like, Woody likes
matched sets of tools.
Yeah.
They like organized tools
with racks. It would be like,
you're going, oh, you like to cook?
You love to cook. You have a kitchen.
Here's three mismatched forks.
Yeah.
No, and that's
how it starts, I think, is when you accept it,
when you're like, okay, I could take a fork or I could take this wrench,
and then you get like a little bit of a dopamine rush, like a tiny little bit.
You're like, hey, maybe one day I find them all.
Exactly.
Nobody's going to be laughing when I got a full set of these.
It's like a Pokemon card or something.
Like you get it, and then it's like a tiny little dopamine rush, and then you rush and you get addicted yeah next thing you know you get like 80 forks that don't match
uh seven of the same wrench you know like it's just the the trick is just being like no so when
my mom anytime i brought over like a girlfriend or something and she's like offering them something
i'll just whisper like don't take it just say say no. Like, don't, don't take
anything. Don't eat any food. Um, just don't do it. Like, trust me, eat any food. Don't eat any
food. She offers you unless I give you the green light. I will go in and check the date. If it's
like a prepackaged thing, make sure it's okay. And I shouldn't have to do that, but no, you
shouldn't. That's rough, man. Yeah. It's bad. Um's bad um but but hey it's bad all over um you know like like as much as like what you're dealing with
is super shitty like not last week's guest because that was finster i don't and apparently he she has
a great relationship with with with his parents but uh the week before we had a fluke was his name joshua josh fluke yeah oh my god like
his family had had had like loaned him they had borrowed so much money from him and and used it
for drugs like oh god and stolen stuff from him like he would he would buy them cars so that they
would have like a weight just he's they'd be like mommy need a job and she said well i would have a way... He'd be like, Mom, you need a job. She'd say, I would need a car to do that.
He's like, here's your car.
She would take that car and
pawn it for drug money.
He'd be like, hey, you're not at work
today? She'd be like, it's my day off.
You've had four days off this week and you're
a cashier, so
what's happening?
He had to learn to keep things in his name.
I'm going to buy you another car, but this one things in his name like all right i'm gonna
buy you another car but this one's in my name so you can't pawn it damn that's fucking rough
that is really bad yeah it sucks it super sucks i've been watching more and more of his videos
i agree with him two-thirds of the time which one do you want about so he has a thing where he kind of like he doesn't like it when corporations take
advantage of people uh mostly employees really it's not about customers and uh he'll be like
hey when they tell you that's a family your family that is a way to get loyalty but i trust me the
second they don't want you in their family anymore they drop you so you should think that way about
them okay thumbs up i agree but then he does other stuff like you know oh do you want to work extra
and get promoted fuck that never do that that's a fool's errand you know that promotion isn't worth
what you think it is etc and i'm like oh it is okay to like and i don't understand that from
like in what context like it's not worth i basically i feel
like he says not do the minimum that would be a overstating what he says but like do enough be
okay but don't try to kill it at work for promotion because that's stupid they're just
they're getting more than they deserve out of you and i'm like i don't know that i go that far
you know there's something to being the guy that gets promoted if hard work paid off 100 of the
time i would disagree but there's a lot of instances where like you know you can have to
be 100 i mean if hard work pays off half the time and you keep at it then you'll do better than
everyone else that That is true.
That's probably accurate.
One thing I've always found in my career is they would say,
you have to do the job to get the job, which seems wildly unfair.
So I have to perform at the next grade level before you give it to me.
I have to act as a manager before I become management or whatever.
And I'm like, no, I feel like I i'm getting robbed but that is how it works and it's like do it or not you know do you want that next job that's how
you get it just get fucked for six months and then you'll be promoted so anyway but i like his
content a lot i think he's pretty smart guy um i just don't agree with all of it that's
all i've only watched his family stuff uh yeah heavy it is it is damn that guy if you guys
haven't seen that episode and you want a bummer of a story go watch that i had so many like like
usually i get usually i get messages like saturday morning or something like that like hey i heard
the show really funny this part with taylor was great i love this story that story stuff the stuff like
that for like a week i got messages like hey man i'm two hours in what a fucking bummer of a show
and i'm like i'm like it gets better it gets better toward the end i thought it was good
sometimes i don't agree with that with the viewers on what's good
and of course they're right i would argue that what they think is what matters not what i think
yeah but you know there'll be shows where it's like drop the mic bitches that one's rocking
and i thought that show was really good but i think it was interesting there's a difference
some of the viewers didn't love it no it was a good show it was just heavy subject matter to
the point where like if if you're here to like feel better about your day like like you might
have gotten the opposite that week it might have been like oh all right here's let's watch some pka
i want to feel better about my oh oh wait what oh he was like and the worst thing about the third time that they stole my car is it reminded me so much of the first two times.
Like, oh, my God.
And then when I found out that in addition to stealing my car, they were using it to solicit heroin from people in Walmart parking lots.
And that's how I found out.
And that's how I found out that I wasn't in a car accident when I was four.
And that's why I'm not... That's why I have two
kidneys. You could totally see them doing that, right?
Like, yeah, you were in a car accident. You lost a kidney. Oh, okay.
As a 30-year-old man, you're like, wait.
Not everybody goes for their first kidney inspection when they're
seven.
Not everybody goes for their first kidney inspection when they're seven.
Take a look at it.
That was super sad.
Oh, you want to talk about my flag?
Yes.
Oh, yes.
So we had a viewer send him a flag.
This is the flag. It's all folded up.
Oh, cool.
What kind of flag is that
it's an american oh is it up to date enough stars so it came with this because i felt like it was like stolen valor almost check oh it is whoa this is presented to official spokesperson of the u.s
marines matt woodworth it says this is to certify the accompanying american flag was flown on the official spokesperson of the U.S. Marines, Matt Woodworth.
It says this is to certify the accompanying
American flag was flown on the first
day of July 2021
in your honor aboard the United
States Air Force C-17A
Globemaster III aircraft during
a combat mission in Afghanistan.
This flag is presented to
Matt Woodworth on behalf of, I won't
dox him, Sergeant US Army dude
And the men and women of the
Sixth Airlift Squadron
While supporting the global war on terrorism
During Operation Freedom Sentinel
Hoorah
Well thank you for your service
Dude there's more
And I'll warn you
He's this unicorn that likes me the most.
I suppose the meaning behind this has changed since I made the offer.
He's talking about a flag from Afghanistan.
No matter, I hope it still means something.
The events in Kabul over the past week or so have been so strange to witness as a member of the C-17 community.
Seeing your colleagues on the world stage of all of a sudden was quite a shock.
I just wanted to address a bit of what you guys were saying on PKN following the Taliban takeover.
When the Afghans were attempting to board the plane by any means necessary, there were actually some things that would have given them the idea it wasn't a foolish move.
There are small windows inside the gear well for emergencies that may have given them hope of being able to enter from there.
Also, this is not the first time something of this nature has been attempted.
People have stowed away in gear wells before with similar results.
I want to say thanks for the entertainment over the years,
from Mail Monday to Modern Warfare 3 to now.
Been watching.
First video I ever saw of yours was wiping out on skis.
I can't wait for a three-body talk show.
Kyle and Taylor got to get on that shit fast.
Finally, get your freaking tattoo, man.
There's no shame in getting something inspired
by Nystat. Once you get one,
you realize they don't have to have
some godlike meeting that hesitancy
passes. Here's hoping you do some
politics talk on Twitch, since
the guys have no clue what they're talking about
in that sphere half the time.
That's not true. I'm going to include
myself in the guys.
Stay jacked, wood tea,
and then he puts his name.
Wood tea, very nice.
What a nice guy.
What a friendly fellow.
Military guy, promotes getting a tattoo,
news at 11.
There's two patches, too.
Oh, cool.
You can get discounts
at stores if you like sew those into clothes
that is the plan yes yes i will i'll put it together but i need them to know just how
decorated i am so i'm gonna have like a navy hat a marine's jacket with some sergeant
make a cape out of the flag
but i bought a um like a shadow box. I think I'm going to replace this Black Ops painting or just move it and put the flag there.
That was really nice of them.
I didn't know you could just fly the flag for people like buying a star.
I don't think you can.
There's a certificate.
Yeah, that looks pretty efficient.
I don't believe that.
It's signed by him and who I guess the guy above it. Okay. Yeah, that looks pretty official. I don't believe that. It's signed by him and who I guess
the guy above it.
Yeah, President
Biden.
It's signed by the five
most recent presidents.
That's really cool. That is cool.
I just didn't know you could...
How do they decide that?
Is it like they take turns?
I'm not worthy.
Why did it come to me?
I don't know.
He had to have paid for it.
I thought it was like buying a star.
Like naming a star after somebody.
I figured they were like...
Buying a star.
Oh, like an actual star.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You register a star with someone.
I think it's like that.
They're like, ah, who are we flying the flag for
today?
Matt Woodworth. All right,
everybody, salute Matt Woodworth.
Who are we fighting for?
Matt Woodworth!
He's like taking fire and he opens.
He takes the picture out,
unfolds it, and it's you.
Kisses it. taking fire and he opens he like takes a picture out and it's you storms the beach man
hilarious
agreed
oh man that's pretty cool yeah that is
really neat i'm so honored by it like
i i got a big head
now i'm kind of a,
you know,
important person over in Afghanistan.
Have you served?
I pretend to serve every day.
Oh,
just because I put this on in my trunk and you saw me walk before I walked in.
I'm a fake Marine.
I'm convinced I can
leverage this into AutoZone discounts
somehow. Oh my god.
You know what? I don't think it's... Is it illegal
to pretend to be a member of an
allied military?
Like if we
pretend to be... Canadian National Guard.
Yeah, if I'm the Canadian
Mounties or if I'm
like... Well, Spetsnaz wouldn't work I guess
England
whatever they have
what do they have
S.A.S.
is it the S.S.
I don't believe it's the S.S.
S.A.S.
the S.A.S.
just total fucking Nazi
I'm undercover The Essex. Just full fucking Nazi regalia.
I'm undercover.
I'm infiltrating a white supremacist.
Oh, that's the air service.
Yeah, I don't know.
I don't know.
You could probably do it, though.
Just pretend to be in the French Foreign Legion.
I guess that's not technically affiliated with France, is it?
I don't fully understand. They're contractors that become maybe French citizens
if they fight in a war, or is that
Hogwarts or something?
I don't know. I always imagined it closer
to Blackwater or whatever Blackwater's
rebranded as now.
Mercenary group you could hire.
But I also don't
know at all.
Not sure.
Kyle, how you doing? I'm feeling pretty good feeling pretty good
yeah i like the time zone difference i like the time zone difference so that it's you know it's
not even seven here yet yeah so yeah i always feel bad for you guys because like it's like
after 11 where you are when we finish i mean it's after 10 for me but like that that would be the
best part about living on the the west coast like
having some more evening at the end of this you know oh not to me really yeah no i would rather
have a larger block of time so i can do things like you know i pretty much have to be home at
six because the show starts at seven sometimes i need to clean or eat or whatever if the show
started at three and ended at what would it be 8 p.m
it's like well that day is fucked what am i supposed to do that gets me home it feels like
you're waiting for the show to start and then you're just kind of waiting exactly what i do
i would sleep in i would burn two hours and then it'd be an hour before the show i can't sleep it
takes me forever to fall asleep after the show you You guys are the same way? Yeah, I'm going to watch
What If, the last one.
Is it out? Yes.
You guys still split? I know nothing other
than it's supposed to be very good.
It ends stronger than it starts.
Are you caught up
right now? No, I haven't
seen the last one.
There's a two-parter.
You've seen the first part of that two-parter yes cool okay then we're we're we're in the same spot same spot yeah yeah it was pretty
good huh like it almost seemed like it explains why the others weren't quite as good maybe
if you consider them like part of a whole okay and um so the premise of it this isn't a spoiler this is the premise you get
in the opening series is that ultron rather than getting in that broken crappy body he was in the
movie gets the cool red one that becomes vision and with that cool red one he's far more powerful
than the guy they had the defeat in the movie and he's a real problem for them and
he's a real real problem for him and at this point i'm like we can't beat him no one can seem to beat
him captain america is not about to leadership him to death no or whatever it is he does
we're fucked so i look forward to the episode that just dropped to know what happens next.
Yeah, me too. I think they've got to go
get the A-team together. They've got to go to
various members
of the Avengers from different realities
and make a team out of that.
I hadn't considered
that they might still be alive in other
multiverse copies.
So there's that.
To me, I'm like'm like well they need people
we haven't been working with with the avengers that i'm accustomed to whether it be captain
america hawkeye or even thor um i would guess i'll get their ass easily kicked by this version
of ultron yeah it's gonna have to be a team effort for sure and we're gonna need like um the
the what are the gods like the super gods called the guardians the the eternals the eternals is
what i'm looking for yeah like maybe a team of eternals can battle this guy or something
i don't know i look forward to it it's been a cool series um you know something else to watch
i uh i have not watched the squid game or whatever the fuck that everybody everybody's so hyped over I look forward to it. It's been a cool series. Something else to watch.
I have not watched the Squid Game or whatever the fuck that everybody's so hyped over.
I finished it. I've heard
mixed opinions.
I can't jump in.
I think about the Squid Game, and you're
good this way, but you might not be on this trip.
It requires your full attention.
The Squid Game isn't really something you watch while reading
Reddit.
Anyway, I want my viewers to know that.
Yeah.
I like it.
I haven't seen it yet, but I've heard good things.
I like it.
I've heard really good things.
It got really good.
The last couple episodes, maybe two, made the others better.
Okay.
Oh, I didn't know.
Yeah. Go ahead. tied in there made the others better okay oh i didn't know yeah now i the the end it it i didn't expect it i don't want to say anything but it did surprise me with how it ended and like
it's one of those shows where like yeah it's it's based around a game where you get killed and
people are in debt and so like it's it's a bit contrived, but if you just sit and enjoy it
as fun, it's a good series.
It kept my attention. I didn't mind
at all the dub stuff.
That doesn't bother me.
Some people get really bothered by that.
Yeah.
I'm with you. The dubbing isn't a problem.
Money Heist is dubbed too.
It bothers me a lot because I watch people's mouths.
Yeah. I watch people's eyes when they're talking i'm a mouth or two these masks are i think my
hearing might legit be not what it was and uh my father went through that too i've talked about it
how he means to make fun of him for that we called him tad for years and he didn't know. You're a mouth looker.
Even in person, you look at the mouth?
Yeah.
Interesting.
I need it.
So I think that I suffer in listening comprehension when someone wears a COVID mask more than most are.
I don't get it.
I don't know what the fuck you're saying.
I'm half a lip reader.
I have a friend that's not deaf at all,
but she can't process what's being said unless she's looking at the person so she's retarded
basically yeah me too though yeah um so it might not be a hearing thing it might just be like
how you learn to process speech it's like you're looking at people face to face looking at their
mouth see what you're saying i'll i my wife and I have a million times.
I'm like,
honey,
you weren't looking at me.
I have no idea what you just said.
Went in the wrong direction.
What are you a dog?
Yeah.
But that's,
it's like,
I,
for one,
I need the volume to come in my direction.
And two,
like,
I need to see your mouth.
I don't know.
Like,
yeah,
it is easier.
Like your,
your brain has that like innate connection to want to be able to take in the whole picture.
I guess I'll look at people's mouths if they have an accent or something
because I want to see how their mouth is moving and how they're making it.
That's easy.
You just make your mouth move the same way theirs is
and look at where their tongue's placed and everything.
Your fascination about that,
and this is like the 50th clue
around it, is super interesting
to me.
I hear you practice
accents in the car
when you can do them wrong with no audience
and just sort of...
I've never done that.
When you watch me do accents on the show,
this is all brand new material, guys.
Usually the way it goes is like you'll try a certain voice or impression
and it's like, oh, that one, that's never going to happen.
I don't have the chops for that one.
And then other ones you'll try and be like, okay, that's not so horrible.
And like the easiest way to do it is to just like,
oh, I'm going to do a retard voice.
Okay, I'll do Nathan from South Park.
Like find some,
or I'm going to do Jesse Ventura.
Okay, well, Anthony Cumia
already has a perfect Jesse Ventura.
How does he do it?
I don't know.
You'll teach me how to do accents.
You'll say, oh, Woody. Okay.
With this accent, the sound comes from
near your teeth. And with this other accent,
it comes from deeper in your throat.
And I'm like, you're a fucking weirdo.
All the sound passes all of those things.
You know how you do
Russian accent all over the back of the throat?
Very far back, you're
pronouncing vowels here.
And then southern.
Now look at where the vowels are coming out there.
It's right at the front.
You know what I mean?
This is a foreign language to me.
I can do both.
Okay, when you're Russian, it comes from the back.
And when you're southern, it comes from the front.
I don't think I do.
Kyle, you're nodding.
You know what I'm...
Yeah, I know exactly what you're talking about.
Kyle can do it too.
Yeah, it's the way you do your tongue.
Those are my two favorite accents, right?
So the Russian one, you're almost like paralyzing the front half of your tongue anyway,
and like almost using the back edges of it to like sort of warble.
And with the southern thing,'s there's there's a
lot of tongue going on like it's moving around everywhere the southern thing is like a front
of the tongue i think yeah like uh taylor said that too yeah there's like a million flavors of
southern i got called shoplift and that's a shabby dealer shit you know like that's all that's all
front of the tongue what'd you do try to steal a pickup truck that's you're getting to like mountain southern there we're in kentucky now between two ferns what's the most powerful thing on your face it's your nose
you can become anyone you want does anybody know where i can get me some i stay
i got caught shop those were between two fernss was good early YouTube funny shit.
I really liked those.
The deadpan silliness where everybody who's watching it knows that it's a put on.
It was funny.
In our last batch of PKA Hangouts, one of the guys, I had stepped away to piss or something.
One group had gotten replaced with another.
I just heard the strongest Southern accent I had heard.
It's so long,
like from across the room through my headset.
He's like,
yeah,
I don't know nothing about all that,
but I've been down here for about three years now.
And I was just like,
all right,
who the fuck is this?
Who is it?
You guys are out talking.
Yeah.
Kyle was hilariously like direct about,
he's like,
you know what?
I used to sound a lot like you, and I've worked
hard to stop sounding like you.
But you are at an age
where you'll always sound like that. It's kind
of a curse. And I'm just like,
ouch, ouch, okay. So that's
what we're doing.
He's the fucking
Shakespeare of his corner of the world,
my friend. He told us where he was from.
He sounds
like an offensive caricature of someone from Kentucky.
It's like, come on, they're not like that.
Nice guy, though.
I liked him.
Yeah, he was a nice guy for sure.
But he had one of those accents where it's like, oh, my,
this has not been tempered at all.
I used to think that when I hear impersonations of a Cajun accent or whatever,
I'm like, people are going to find this offensive.
If you do this from a Cajun person,
and then I see someone doing it to a literal Cajun person in fucking Louisiana,
they're like, man, that's not where that goes over there.
What are you doing?
It's not kind of like that.
It's like, oh, God, they're going to get offended.
They'll reply in that exact same fucking accent. I like oh yeah that's just how they sound the whole state of louisiana
sounds like they just moved here just got to america still figuring out the ropes pretty much
yeah it is like i mean there's a million accents across the u.s but what i think is wild is like the uk is so
tiny in comparison like we have states that are three times bigger than the uk and even in the
uk they've got like regional accents right whereas i feel like you can drive around the entire state
of you know you can drive around a huge state and it's all going to be more similar than the UK is.
Where it's like a Manchester accent is grossly different than a
Birmingham.
Birmingham.
Interesting.
Obviously you know that, but it's because
they don't cross-pollinate as much.
I forget who I was talking to, but
someone hadn't seen their father in two years
because they live so far away.
90 minutes.
What?
90 minutes away.
You can drive like four hours and get to the east and the west coast of the UK pretty much, like four or five hours.
But then, yeah, the accents will be radically different.
If you talk to like a uh uk bartender so the uk
people are alcoholics so if you talk to a uk bartender if people come in from like up north
they won't really be able to understand them you know like it's gonna be a log of that
i guess something like that in in the traditional british area oh i will say this like like
kitty has me talk to her like creditors and stuff like
like like if there's an issue with like the water bill or whatever she's like yes the water bill
and they're like is there anyone in your household who speaks english little girl
you fucking cunts and i'm now i'm on the phone i'm like yeah it's it's the water bill we didn't
receive one this month there was no what i'm looking at her in the eyes water bill water
because it's a bottle of water we didn't get a water bottle and her voice is already like high
and so it's probably even harder i mean like what blame truth was saying like what is that old
saying we're like in the u.s a hundred years is a long time and in the uk a hundred miles is a long distance oh that's good like i
not going to see someone because of a 90 minute yeah but that's not really fair though because
hours away and they're in the same state as me i don't care where you're from 100 years is a long
time but 100 miles shouldn't be a long way if you've got fucking roads and cars i think they
have no excuse and shit we're like a hundred years ago we had this president and it's the uk is like a thousand years
ago we had this king like just a much longer history i uh talked to a british friend of mine
because i thought about going to the uk and i was like i'd probably go here like where are you at
and he's just like oh i'm not really near that at all i'm about an hour and a half away okay well i'm an eternity away from there
a 90 minute drive in my shitty little european car
oh their cars their cars suck fucking dick it's terrible europeans have great cars i just mean
like the the daily drivers and my entire view of this is from like the challenges they do on Top Gear.
That is a documentary.
It is.
And that's such a great show.
Yeah.
I love Top Gear as a show.
And I don't give, you guys know, I don't give two fucks about cars.
It's not my area of interest.
But like when they're like, we're going to drive across the entire Amazon in a Ferrari.
And it's like, all like, I'm in.
Look at the big guy's name.
Jeremy Clarkson.
He beat up Piers Morgan, I think.
Oh, I didn't know it was Piers Morgan.
I thought that he got angry and punched a producer
on the show. I didn't know it was another famous guy.
He beat up Piers Morgan?
I mean, Jeremy Clarkson
I'm googling to see if I have it right.
I don't know anything about Piers Morgan other I'm Googling to see if I have it right. I don't know anything about Piers Morgan
other than he's like a news guy.
He's a news guy, but part of his...
He did punch Piers Morgan.
That's great.
Kind of the way that he does his stories
is he'll maybe pick an unpopular side
and annoy you with it.
What station is he?
Oh,
he's like trying to get out.
He bounces around.
He was on CNN for a while.
I think he was on BBC and he's somewhere else now.
Um,
but he's like an outrage journalist where like he wants people to get upset
by his take to generate attention.
Maybe that's what I accused him of.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I mean,
there's a lot of them who do that.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So anyway, Claire McCl Clarkson was having none of it
and he punched him.
That's so much cooler now.
To know that it was Piers Morgan
that he beat up.
Jeremy Clarkson is the coolest one on that show,
but they have good chemistry.
I always thought that would be a show that you would be super into,
Kyle, with your interesting cars.
Well, it's not about
cars. You're right like it's really not about
cars it's they're more like a comedy troupe that it's like it hangs around a garage comedy yeah
yeah um no i i've liked what i've seen of it but i've just never really gotten into it
um and i would probably like it more if i did if i gave it a chance but i really haven't um
honestly the uh if you're going to jump into it,
don't do the episode-to-episode ones.
The normal episodes can get boring because you actually talk about cars too much
where they'll like, I don't care.
But if you look at their challenges or their voyages,
I don't remember what it's called.
They're on Amazon, though,
where it's them trying to get across the Sahara Desert
in dune buggies that they made like stuff
like that it's kind of it's neat those are the cool ones the uh episode where they go to like
they go to an older one they go to africa or some shit yeah and they have to drive they're just
given like three random fucking cars like one's a subaru so it's gonna do well one's like a fucking
buick you know like finding the source of the nile by chance i've seen that one it might have been that one but
basically you know they just get stuck and uh it's fucking entertaining it's funny i have to
get the locals that like dig them out push them out and shit and like though i don't remember
what area they were trying to drive across but it was a huge amount of area with a lot of different
terrain and they got dropped in and instead of being given a car they got airdropped a car kit
and had to build the car but because hammond and may are the only ones who have like an actual
knowledge of how to build cars and like the engine like jeremy just fucks off
he's like what is over, trying to make you supper
as you made the car. And they're like, you've
burned it. It's an MRE and you've
burned it.
We're trying to help.
It's a fucking great show.
Great content. It bugs me.
I know how staged it is.
Of course.
Of course it's staged. It's great content it bugs me like i know how staged it is too of course it's that like
of course it's staged it's great content but it's not supposed to be staged you're supposed
to think it's real and that yeah it's a little bit there i feel like it's a little give and
take there like you know certain parts are totally fake but like by the end of those challenges
where like they've been sleeping in a tent for a week like genuinely snippy and
angry at each other like you can tell sometimes like sometimes it gets a little too real at the
end where like you can tell they're genuinely upset with one another and they want to go home
and that creates good content too but like i don't know it's the same thing as suspending
disbelief for the squid game for me the squid game isn't trying to convince you
this really happened i don't feel i maybe i'm wrong i feel like some of the stuff is so obviously
put on and scripted that like it's supposed to be like a tongue-in-cheek joke okay like when they
there's like one remembering like there's a service in india where there's like hundreds
of millions of meals delivered like hot meals prepared by the wives of men.
And those get delivered by people whose entire job is to like ride the train with huge numbers of tens and then go deliver them to men at work.
And they're like, the train takes 40 minutes to get there.
Cars are faster.
We can do it.
We're going to revolutionize the way India does lunch.
And like they're driving around with all those things in the back of their in the boot of their car and like they're sloshing around and spilling all over and there's soup everywhere
and they get there late and it's like obviously they didn't think they were going to revolutionize
lunch in india when like two minutes in they're like i didn't imagine the traffic in india could
be this bad it It's fucking India.
I can't tell if those third world countries with the near accidents all the time are very skilled drivers or unskilled drivers.
Oh, it's unskilled.
Apparently, India is like dangerous as shit to drive at.
They're like doubling up death totals of everywhere else.
Isn't it the place where they have those little they look like golf carts as cars.
And then there's like camels and shit on the main road and fucking mopeds like it's just a
smorgasbord of random shit and there's like no actual fucking rules that way like there must be
rules that they know unwritten rules you know when you're in a parking lot right picture at the mall
or whatever you don't back out without looking both ways. It's kind of on you to make sure you don't pull into traffic
and cause an accident. Well, in India, the rules are flipped.
They feel like the person driving has the better visibility.
They should be on the lookout for cars since they can see so well.
And the guy who can't see just pulls out and assumes that you will be on your game.
That's horrible. So horrible okay imagine these conflicting views on who's responsible in the cisco parking lot
maybe i'm just really american but shouldn't both motherfuckers be looking like you know like
that would be ideal i suppose it is up to the guy driving they say that and just back out and don't even look at their
review mirror.
That's what's up.
I don't see a lot of Indian dash cam
stuff though.
I mean, they don't have the internet
or...
Huge swaths of them don't have the internet.
They just make them there.
They live in Hudson.
I think the reason you only see Russians with that
is because don't they need it for their insurance
or something?
Yeah, something about Russian insurance.
Yeah.
The reason Florida Man is a thing is because
Florida has more lax laws
on releasing those crimes.
I heard something like that.
Florida is just filled with, I think, statistically
some of the worst drivers in the fucking... Oh,'re all they're all ancient yeah the florida man like
i think in every other state when they release like today's arrest records they use their name
but they keep them anonymous in florida so just florida man and florida women did this and that
yeah it's like more stuff gets out there because well everyone has the same name, Florida Man. It looks like that guy's insane.
Not Carolina Man.
It's Stevie Johnson.
Exactly.
Stevie Johnson.
Stevie Johnson, notorious
pedophile.
Oh, pedophile.
I've got a bit of a topic about that.
Oh, no.
I'm so afraid of what you're going to say.
I've got a bit of a topic about that.
Oh, no.
I'm not too afraid of what you're against.
It's not actually a pedophile.
Hold on.
I'm getting a link for Zach and I have it bookmarked. So this won't take long.
You guys have heard me rant against Elon Musk before.
Elon Musk is not actually responsible for this.
His estranged father, which is why he's so innocent,
Errol Musk, is having a baby.
He had that baby with his stepdaughter, Jonna.
Awesome.
He married Jonna's mom when Jonna was four years old.
I guess stayed with the mom for some period of time
and then reset.
And now he's fucking the daughter
and they're having a kid.
How old is she though?
It doesn't say here how old she is currently,
but it's my assumption that she's an adult.
Like 11.
I think it's 12.
I think it's 12.
So this was from 2018 it says
So this was 3 years ago-ish
But I just learned of it
But
It's breaking news for me
I'm sure there's more on it
You can probably find her age
Do some math
Just look up Elon Musk's stepmother
How old is she?
I guess she's 19 or 20.
Zach says she's 30.
Oh.
So she was 27.
This isn't nearly as scandalous.
Well, still, he swapped out the mom for the daughter.
I mean, that's pretty fucked up.
Yeah.
Or did I say that backwards?
I said it backwards.
I mean, it makes Christmas a little awkward.
Yeah, it does.
Yeah, it's not pedo.
I presume he waited until she was 18 before
he made you ever seen elon musk's mom no yeah oh man she looks like um like the the fanciest witch
at the uh at the coven she looks like does she really does she looks like that she looks like
the really rich witch when like all the other rich like in the harry potter, she'd be like Malfoy's mom or something like that.
I get a lot of Cruella de Vil vibes.
A lot of Cruella de Vil with the hair, right?
Yeah.
Jamie Lee Curtis for the Activia commercials, whatever they're called.
I'm wondering.
She looks like one of those old people that's taking good care of themselves.
Yeah, she does.
Elon Musk become the richest person in the world, I guess. It's hard to say because you don't know how rich like putin is
or some or you say should he or could he could he because it so five years ago he was super rich
multi-billionaire etc but i kind of felt like he was a bitch billionaire compared to the bigs like
the gates the buffets the bezos the zuckerbergs and they've all doubled while musk
is like 10 banged it or something he was the richest person in the world uh yeah musk he had
a day he had a week where he was for about a week that he traded places with jeff bezos but then
tesla stock fell and bezos solidified his position again. I think that he will be the richest person in the world only because I think that
he's got like three projects that are really wanting
for federal government monies. And if that faucet ever gets
turned on for something like the Boring Company or if the US
government wants to use his space tech for whatever, a mining
thing, a military thing whatever a mining thing a military thing a
scientific thing like i feel like he's got a lot of those faucets that are just waiting on that
government hose to be turned on and that'll just balloon his wealth out of i mean i get that amazon
is amazon but if he starts getting government contracts i think you're right like that money
is unlimited because i mean the government doesn't earn it they just print more of it is printed yep yeah yeah that says that musk is the richest
person but that's from january i want it's been nine yeah i don't i don't think he's currently
the richest i think it's uh bezos because he was the richest for a bit when tesla stock was up
no real time billionaires says elon musk 203.9 billion jeff bezos 192.4 wow okay maybe
real time billionaires so my other question is how much was bezos's number impact by the divorce
oh that's true yeah but yeah you're right he uh he became the richest person again in september
just recently we're just gonna count that as a poor business decision yeah the divorce yeah yeah the marriage he may have got he may have
got a prenup though and then damn warren buffett barely holding in the top 10 he's number nine now
oh what an embarrassment what a fucking idiot if i woke up with that much money i jump out a window
because i don't want to be some bitch do you think any of those like like uber billionaires like like do you think any of them ever get mad when people say that and they're
like and they're like i gave 50 billion away come on this wasn't for business sense i gave it away
come on don't don't don't reduce my my badge at the billionaire conference to the
this looks unfair bernard arnott are all, he's third at $177.2 billion,
but it says him
and family.
You can't like, okay, well then put the
fucking Rothschilds or one of those huge
families in there with a ton of wealth.
It's been divided a hundred ways.
This guy cheated his way into the top.
The Walmart family is also really wealthy,
but it's been divvied up.
Yeah, so then you could probably put the Waltons on there.
Yes, thank you, the Waltons.
Bernard knows somebody at the real-time
billionaires list.
Do you think that's
a real thing? Or I guess it is.
Competition is innate in everyone.
Even though they have more money than
God, they probably still are like,
this fucking cunt, Elon
Musk. I own Amazon, dammit! I should be number one. Once you get that rich, there's nothing else to do god they probably still are like this fucking cunt elon musk i own amazon damn it like
once you get that rich there's nothing else to do except compete with other rich people
i guess kind of scorekeeping right there's nothing you can't have you know like well he's working on
eternal life right now right that that that life extension thing like that's literally what basis
is a new project is that's a good one i was thinking like the other
day if the amount of like excess that is like i'm thinking from my perspective like how much
would i need money wise right now just to be like easy street for the rest of my life it's probably
like 200 grand or something yeah maybe 250 000 yeah especially 200 grand in your easy street for
the rest of your life yeah then i then i do youtube like three months out of the year and
do whatever the fuck out because my house is paid for cars paid for uh no kids no wife so yeah
damn you're like living minimalist hermit mode 200 grand for the rest of your life i mean that would be like a big enough nest egg
you're gonna live to 41 no i mean like uh
it's one year left to live it's so cheap to live and he's got all that canned food to lean back
on there you go no it's so cheap to live here like seriously uh it's insane i think the average income in my area like per year is
some some shit like 22 000 per year wow that's it and that's enough to live so um like for my area
i'm like high like upper tier uh from what i make so if i just had like yeah two hundred thousand
dollars like in the bank right now i'm fucking good that really is like the move for if you're like an internet guy yeah like i'm
always confused when it's like i moved to la and it's like you're that's so fucking ridiculous like
why why would you do that unless you're like big enough that you're gonna make your way into
commercials or something like it's stupid because a friend of the show blame truth surely knows him old school guy um i think that his career is better based in la than it
would be in north carolina someone his size who's like really big really popular and he's gonna have
that draw yeah but like who's to say his size would be his size if he wasn't there like i think
he was hugely popular before he went there. I don't,
I certainly didn't mean it all to say it like wasn't there.
I just think it might've been benefited from like a little networking,
a little,
this,
a little of that,
you know,
that is,
that is true.
People see billboards,
not billboards,
like the app,
maybe billboards,
but I was talking about the bus station advertising, like his picture on it.
See,
see Tucker's bigger,
like somebody my size,
he's bigger.
So he's going to have more opportunities to cross kind of promote and do like cross platform stuff.
So yeah,
it makes sense then,
but at the same time,
what's stopping me from like living here in this cheap place and taking a
fucking plane to California.
If I need to do something there,
you know what I mean?
Like,
I think it's more that they, that he has the ability to like pop into a lunch meeting today yeah like
or if there's if there's something really short notice like hey hey we need somebody to show up
here now could you do that like like being like that flexible has to be part of it but also just
the networking that would come along with just being in town and being amongst that group of people could be huge.
Because like, I mean, just every time I would hang out with like Harley or somebody like that, I'd be like, oh, yeah, you want to do a thing like that?
We know a guy who does a thing like that.
Yeah, yeah.
Call that guy.
If you're doing like, yeah, if you're doing like more not solo stuff, yeah, it'd be great because then all the people are there.
You know what I mean?
Like, I guess it's like a critic. Like when you hit a critical mass of popularity like it starts paying
dividends but like someone who isn't collabing a ton like it just seems easier to be like oh yeah
i live in fucking washington missouri and it's cost of living is zero and i'm making good money
for my online but like like that, yeah,
it sounds like rural immediately.
If I could get a good internet for sure,
I'd take advantage of the opportunities,
but there are opportunities that exist from living in LA and definitely.
Yes.
But I actually,
in my heart of hearts,
I don't know what the right call is that the cost of living is much higher.
And to me for my,
it's not my cup of tea, the lifestyle.
So I don't know if it'd be worth it.
And isn't California state income tax even like ludicrously high?
I'm sure it's too high.
I don't know.
Yeah, but it's not 100%.
Well, yeah, but it would be discouraging to see that amount of money leaving
and cost of living.
But I guess like the people who move there are smart businessmen for the most part.
I would like to I would like to ask Tucker at some point, like if he thinks it's been more beneficial, because I would never like I just could not logically.
I wanted to move to Charlotte, NC, which is not like huge like like huge like la but it's still probably it's probably
like double the cost of living here maybe triple even um just because they had better internet you
know it's like a bigger place more going on but then i'm like you know what like eventually fiber
came here and i'm like there's no fucking reason there's just no like i can work i can do my thing anywhere
in the world why wouldn't i do it in the cheapest place and then just travel to those places if i
need to that's the way i like that no i like your way a lot yeah that makes that makes more sense
to me but i mean if you're a really popular guy with huge amounts of opportunity all the time and
you need yeah like tucker's like sponsored by fucking like monster energy or something it's also too he could just afford it so he wants to
live in la like that's also a thing like i don't want to live in a big city yeah i don't think i
would like that i just don't want to live in la la is one of the worst it's like bottom three
really yeah what do you dislike about it oh homeless i'll answer that's my it's the smell
i didn't notice but it is it's there's a homeless
problem that's huge i know you asked kyle um something about like i think the climate causes
it to be dirty like rain doesn't wash away the dirt from the sidewalks like it just accumulates
in a way that like here the sidewalks get washed clean every so often you know that's true that
town hasn't taken a bath in months thank you that's actually a pretty good like description
and not just the homeless but like also the buildings and the sidewalks and the streets
are places like phoenix really dirty i don't know i can tell you dallas was now you got cleaner
people in phoenix though so it cancels out it's all retired people yeah somehow dallas was super
clean to me maybe the uh the proximity to the ocean gets it a little sticky and the dirt clings,
but like humidity and salt and whatever.
But Dallas was super clean to me.
I was like,
look at this.
All these buildings like glimmer.
It was like dirt repellent.
Philadelphia is dirty too.
Everything's covered with soot and everything's covered with like sand in LA.
I didn't like it.
It rains all the time here in St. Louis is is disgusting la not to mention like the main reason i don't like it is the people
because uh have you guys seen the show uh you television show you no i've never heard of that
one uh well anyway in the second season he goes LA, he's getting like stalked or something. So he goes to LA because he hates it so much that no one would think that,
that to look for him there or whatever.
And a lot of the,
they actually filmed it,
I think on location.
And I'm just like,
man,
it's just like people named like Rosebud walking down the street on Tik TOK,
you know,
pantomiming some shitty fucking song.
And it's like,
shut the fuck up.
Like I couldn't,
I couldn't handle it. Everybody's trying to get famous at the same time
it's just a bunch of bull
everybody is like an alien
sorry LA California people
I've been shitting on you guys
for like a decade
dude it's awkward
you take a cab in LA
and they're like oh you're not from here
how do you like it
it's really nice I just lie take a cab in LA and they're like, oh, you're not from here. How do you like it? How do you like it?
It's really nice. I just lie. I lie with my teeth.
Because your place is shit.
This is one of the worst cities in America.
This is borderline
the worst city.
It's really bad.
There are people who can't wait to get back to St. Louis.
It's not necessarily the people people i do not like the homeless
thing um that that's its own separate thing but like i really don't like the layout of the city
like like it reminds me of it of like a much much bigger version of atlanta how we
like nobody lives downtown everybody made the same zoning mistake like yeah no all right
once you get outside the core no buildings over five stories like all right fuck nards now you're
just gonna spread out for the whole damn state they did that in st louis where they were like
no buildings can be taller than the arch and so it's like well you're kind of forcing like and
the arch is the biggest like man-made monument in the country. So it's not like it's small.
There's still big buildings, but it's still like the fuck.
What a stupid ass rule.
Like people flying in need to see the arch that much.
They can still see it.
It's there on the river.
Yeah.
No, Atlanta sucks.
The traffic's terrible.
You get that massive influx every day of traffic going into the city and and and like what he said like if you talk to someone
who's like not from atlanta who's like from the country they think what they think of as atlanta
is a gargantuan area it's it's like the the top center portion of georgia essentially because like
the city just keeps spreading out and out and out it's i mean 40 miles away there's still still what most people
think of as atlanta if you're not from atlanta yeah i mean that's how i think a lot of cities
are 630 feet tall would you call that 63 stories is that a good estimate yeah right yes no yeah it
is it's like it's huge it's it's 63 stories in the context of a like a city limit isn't like no it's not enough
no yeah yeah it's enough for the fucking arch but like come on it's a cool arch we're not saying
only that when you make a rule saying nothing can be cooler you limit yourself i've never seen
it's not cool i've never seen this so i so I assume it's like the McDonald's Arch.
Let me look it up.
The St. Louis Arch?
No.
You can go up in it.
It's a giant N that stands for Lewis.
Wait, is this a monument in St. Louis?
Yeah.
That's really cool.
I've seen it once or twice.
It looks alien almost.
It doesn't belong. That's really cool. I've seen it once or twice. It looks alien almost like it doesn't belong.
I mean, it's enormous. And they just built a new like park at the base to like clean it up and be nice and everything.
Okay.
And I haven't gone to the park, but there was, it was funny when the blues won the Stanley
cup, there was a Facebook group with like 30,000 people in it where it's like when the
blues win, we're going to people into the St.
Louis, the Missouri side of the river are are gonna push and people on the illinois side are gonna pull and we're gonna
take down the arch in celebration and it was it didn't work obviously but wait did they try
they did a bunch of people gathered like push
you go like what if it weren't that thing that would be so fucking funny if they actually ruined
it but uh yeah i remember a story when I was a kid.
Some guy was trying to be a daredevil.
And so he tried to land after skydiving on top of the arch.
And he did.
And then he was going to slide down the side and pull out another parachute.
And I don't think it panned out for him.
Actually, but you go up in the air. The thing about aviation is being half successful is not that good.
It shakes so much when you're up there.
The one time I've gone to the top of the arch,
first of all, they didn't spring for regular elevators.
They're little orbs because it goes up diagonally.
And so everybody sits in a little white pod seat,
and they take you up there.
And the higher you get, you get to the top, and you're obviously standing on an arch.
But you're blowing in the wind.
You can feel the whole thing move when you're up.
It was unsettling.
I'll never go up again.
I didn't like it.
Wait a minute.
How old were you when you went?
Oh, I was probably six, seven.
Okay.
Well, that does sound terrifying for a six or seven year old.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I mean, now it would be fine because people did it all the time.
But did you learn an inordinate amount about the arch in like Missouri public school?
There's arch courses they take every year.
Yeah.
There's arch courses.
And what's the best thing about the arch?
It's there. It's the arch? It's there.
It's certainly there.
It's really archy.
Yeah, no, the big, like, Missouri history thing they talked about was Lewis and Clark.
Or they'd be like, oh, Lewis and Clark departed from right there where the arch is.
You, like, wheeled out that stat really quickly earlier.
You were like, oh, it's the biggest monument. Oh, they make a big deal of that down there were like, oh, it's the biggest monument.
Oh, they make a big deal of that down there.
They're like, it's the biggest monument
next to the most dangerous city.
It's so funny to go down there
because it's like surrounding the art.
It's such a nice area.
Everything's meticulously picked up and clean.
And it's like they spend all their resources
keeping that little park safe
and Forest Park, which is a big park
in the city like Central Park is.
It's like they spend all their resources on that
and the rest of the city is an absolute
shithole.
Baltimore and Camden
both do that.
They keep the parks pristine.
They both have aquariums. Baltimore is obviously
way better, but they're the pretty pimp and everything is lovely there and it's safe and i mean you could
go to the camden aquarium and feel like you're in a nice place yeah but nowhere else in camden
would you think that oh yeah like think like the best thing we have here is probably the zoo
like st louis like oddly has a phenomenal one of the best zoos in the country. Might be the biggest one in the country.
I love Taylor St. Louis Pride.
We never see this side of it.
We got the most badass
man-made monuments and zoos
in America.
I didn't say it was the most badass. The most badass
would be Mount Rushmore because that's like
carving into stone. I've never seen it, but I
imagine it looks cool.
I rode my motorcycle there this summer,
and I flew a helicopter over it.
How big is it, actually?
Medium.
Fuck!
I wanted to imagine it was like hundreds of feet of face per guy.
The faces, I don't know.
It's hard to judge perspective,
but a lot of people were super disappointed. They were like, it's so much smaller than I don't know. It's hard to judge perspective, but a lot of people were super disappointed.
They were like, it's so much smaller than I thought it was.
It was the size I thought it was, maybe because that low expectation was set.
But it was pretty neat.
The helicopter ride's pretty cool.
To your point, there is nothing to brag about with St. Louis.
And so people will latch on and be like, well, we got the arch.
We got a really fucking nice zoo that's free
You pay $20 for parking
And other than that
It's like and the Cardinals
Only the Yankees have won more
Let's go Cards
But that's about it
I was going to say
The Drew Carey show
That's in Cleveland
I was thinking of the song And I'm like wait it's not st louis rocks like
it's cleveland rocks yeah yeah they have the rock and roll hall of fame uh i was gonna say it's it's
in nc we don't have a baseball team so we have to root for the closest team to us which is the
atlanta braves which I find odd.
Like why don't we have a baseball team?
Yeah,
really?
So I would have said we don't have a baseball team.
So instead we root for the Durham Bulls.
Maybe it's because I'm so close to them.
Maybe,
but I didn't know.
North Carolina didn't have a baseball.
I didn't know anything about baseball.
I figured it was a big enough state.
They'd have also,
I don't think we have Panthers here.
No,
we have a better name would have been like the Carolina Mountain Lions.
That's a good point.
Why are we the Carolina Panthers?
This is our NFL team.
Why is there a catchphrase, keep pounding?
Because it sounds very sexual.
I like that.
Actually, I'm against you on this one.
Keep pounding is perfect.
Keep fucking.
Keep fucking.
It gets better.
Keep fucking.
What?
Is St. Louis' keep arching
or something?
Keep arching, keep hammering.
That's what it would be.
Hammer that
World Series home.
And run to your car afterward.
Cougars are panthers.
But these are like black jungle
panthers. It's the mascot.
It's the thing.
So it doesn't make sense.
I definitely wouldn't live here unless I was born.
I would call it the Carolina bankers.
The Carolina bankers.
The Carolina, I don't know, gold panners or something.
Yeah, I don't know.
The St. Louis murderers.
The Carolina used car dealers.
Something like that.
I like bankers.
They're scarier than cougars to me. Yeah, true. scarier than murderers in a lot of ways yeah right powerful people they
control all my money so i know we're a bit over before we get to the next topic we're gonna hear
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like a man this is the worst this is the worst thing i've ever heard of this is good shit man
they made hundreds of bottles derek is concerned they're going to sell out so we we're going to
put the link in there as i guess right away because i have the link um we wanted to give
a patreon's first access is what i'm getting it there is another batch already being manufactured
so even if it's sold out of the back order should be filled pretty quickly but um yeah it's covet
times everyone's constantly out of stock so get it while it's hot it's made it while you can buy
it now it's like literally ready to ship it's tremendous my bottle should have been here today um i know i was hoping it would arrive so i could show it
off on the show yeah he tried to overnight it and i'm so i'm guessing tomorrow we're all gonna get
the some very expensive bottles of lock and load that got overnighted but took two days
yeah more more cost on the shipping than the product i saw this oprah meme like your item
is backordered your item is backordered everybody's item is backordered
that's just what we're up to now
I don't think that's the case here
because it's literally Derek putting it in a box
and mailing it
it just didn't make it
I think they said something like
the USPS is changing something
so it'll be slower overall
I think I read that
just in time for the holidays. Nice.
Can you imagine this holiday season?
What a nightmare it's going to be with the masks
and with the back orders and everything.
It's going to be wild.
This is a Trump thing.
I sometimes get accused of making everything political,
but that's what's up.
I don't understand why, but the Postmaster General
can't just be fired. Not very easily.
Trump put in this guy who has his own vision about making the post office more profitable.
And he's able to save some amount of money by making shipping slower.
The counter argument is we have huge shipping problems in America right now.
We've got this giant supply chain issue, and he's cutting back on what the post office does is that good for america's
infrastructure like i think it's not but what the fuck do i know about post and shipping and
whatever it's can't be good that's where i land but we're getting more and more we're getting
less and less uh like retail out like go to a store retail outlet. We're shying away from that and
using Amazon
online orders, stuff like that
way more. It seems like the demand
for shipping is going up. Why are they cutting
the supply? I was going to say there are
there are like I
used Poshmark to get rid of
a bunch of shit. You guys know what that is?
It's like an app where you can just
sell your clothes and shoes and shit like
that online.
You just take pictures,
put it on there,
kind of like eBay,
but a little bit more streamlined.
Okay.
Uh,
so I just,
I've been selling shit on there just to get rid of old stuff,
you know?
And,
I would notice a lot.
I get little notifications just recently saying like,
Hey,
this item you shipped is going to arrive like four days late,
you know,
whatever.
And it's supposed to be like a three day shipping thing,
you know,
through Poshmark.
So I don't know how that's going to work because if you're paying the same
amount on the app for the same shipping,
that's worse.
You know what I mean?
How's that going to affect shit?
And that probably goes for every fucking site that uses the USPS and stuff
like that.
So I don't know how it works.
Yeah.
I don't know. What I read online
is that the amount of money saved isn't
worth the degradation in service.
Yeah.
Again, what am I going to tell the postmaster?
How to run a post office?
It sounds like
daylight savings time
like i've been trying to figure out what the fuck does this shit actually do every year you know
what i mean like i google it and i i'd research and i can't find anything like i like well it
used to give us more time to harvest crops yeah but it's 2021 like i think some states stood away
with it like i think it's arizona did it just did away with it. I think it's Arizona just did away with it.
New Mexico? The argument I always
heard was that kids would be waiting for the school bus in the dark.
And I thought about it.
That's a fucking school problem.
Fucking start the class, like start it an hour later.
Don't change the entire fucking
United States time. Would you adjust the class
time? Would you be like,
alright, you know what, come November
to March- would march we push
it back a day an hour i would just get rid of it all together because it's fucking pointless it's
just annoying um but twice a year you have to change the time and like i'm still i just i can't
find a fucking reason for it like can somebody give me a concrete reason and in certain states
are doing away with it all together obviously it's not essential you know what i mean like so what's the fucking
is it just tradition at this point is it just to be annoying like what's the point
what's the purpose i like it i like it too i thought i was alone you like you like it switching
yeah i like switching it around a little bit okay you know i it when that happens it's usually like
oh nice a little more sleep at night or uh or oh, okay, finally we get a full day's worth of sun.
Finally the sun doesn't go down at 5 p.m. or something.
Yeah, it's nicer.
It's a nicer way of living for the most part.
And it was also really fun when I was working with people where you had to show up somewhere to see who would forget.
I guarantee that dumbass has no way of knowing today is daylight
savings time.
He won't be here.
He won't be here.
There's no way.
Yeah.
Just,
I don't know.
It just seems like an annoyance because if it was just,
let's say,
uh,
what is it?
Spring forward,
fall back.
If we just stayed spring forward,
it's like,
I don't see like you still get the daylight
you know the extra debt like it's like uh i don't know it's just it's i just don't get it i've tried
to fucking research it again like what's the point no i would be okay with it not being a thing
anymore i just i just wouldn't care either way okay um i don't know i don't know what the benefits
are at this point because obviously you know the kids don't need extra time to harvest the grain necessarily anymore.
But it has to be a negative, right?
There have to be like X amount of people on that one day a year who aren't showing up on time.
It has to be a negative.
And then.
Like, not that it's like on the whole negative, but there are some drawbacks to it.
Yeah, I just don't. I don don't know i just don't get it um
and again i think a few years ago there's a few years ago that uh the the states did away with it and that's when i realized kind of like oh shit like we don't even fucking need this why are we
doing it like these guys don't need it why do we do it so i don't know it's very strange um if
somebody on reddit or something wants to explain it to me please let me it so i don't know it's very strange um if somebody on reddit or something
wants to explain it to me please let me know because i don't think it actually does anything
i don't have anything against it though i do but i'm just i'm angry so it's fine next topic
all right this we looked at this the states with the highest and lowest iqs what is this next topic alright this
the states with the highest and lowest IQs
what is this
it is an infogram and therefore
accurate oh wow
any surprises here
who's the winner Massachusetts
oh California
48 fuck them that surprised
me actually I think of California as one of the tech states
where the Silicon Valley...
Bunch of retards.
I was surprised they were
48. I wasn't surprised to see the
Southeast do fairly poorly.
My state's the smartest of everyone here.
Really?
Well, if I knew which one your state was,
I would.
You don't know which one you don't know which 25 right
in the middle yeah 25 wait can you guys not name every state as you see it uh it would be a test i
bet i i can get i bet all of them are maybe 40 i can get most of them i can get most of them a lot
of the middle stuff in the middle i don't know like uh because i don't care the middle is where
i get weaker but i think i would get them all a lot of people suck at the northeast but i grew up there tell me the one tell me a number that
you don't know blame truth and we'll see um i don't know um
we'll go with fucking
25 that's you okay that's missouri i feel like 15 and 8 i'm like all right
and then 15 is nebraska and that was my guess yeah i've been i went to both of those this summer
i've been in nebraska yeah um see people forget people sleep on the midwest i know all the
midwest yeah you're right you know
i felt like i had an advantage coming from the northeast because a lot of people are like
vermont new hampshire connecticut massachusetts they all kind of bundle into this tightly packed
group of didn't look at chem uh where's rhode island um but i know those because i like i
grew up in new jersey yeah now you have a similar advantage with these states no one cares about,
like whatever number 11 is.
Kansas.
No, that's – wait, there's two 11s.
Oh.
One of the 11s is Kansas and the other one is South Dakota.
Yeah.
Oh, I see.
You're right.
This has ruined this entire – this probably isn't even science.
Well, it only depends.
Is there a 12?
No, it's just a tie. It's okay.
No, it's a tie.
New Jersey is 11 too.
Oh, is there a 13?
They must just be a tie.
A three-way tie.
South Dakota, 11.
North Dakota, 3.
What's going on there?
I don't know.
North Dakota is one of the smartest there I don't know North Dakota
one of the smartest states
man that don't sound smart
I mean
according
I mean this is
verifiable fact
but they were
the 311
so the 311
it's okay to have
a three way tie
you guys are really
stuck on that
how would it be a tie
you know what I mean
like if it's
if it's by average
how would it be a tie you know what I mean they just don's if it's by average how would it be a tie you know they just don't have enough precision in their measuring system to differentiate
what are the kind of differences is it like is california like 89 and then you know what's number
44 is that i don't know how they i assume it's based on smartitude i'm not exactly sure smartity
i mean i'm sure i give them a standardized IQ test.
Truth be told, I'm surprised at my state being 29.
29, because we're around a lot of red and orange.
And then 16, Virginia's 16.
That's what?
I do feel like North Carolina and Virginia are a bit of an oasis in dumbness.
Yeah, it's weird.
I don't know.
Maryland's right there above you.
You know what? I hate,
hate the shape of Maryland.
Maryland's 32.
That's way worse than us.
The shape is
horrible. I remember even as a
kid being like, what kind of fucking retard
picked these lines?
Was Maryland gerrymandered or something
for political reasons?
It looks like
one of those and then west virginia that little spike it has going up why spikes weird and also
florida give some of that coastline to to share a bit fuck right it's not fair florida just just just has all of it. Who's 45?
There is 45.
Louisiana, Mississippi,
something? That's New Mexico.
No. No, there's two 45s. Oh, there's two 45s. I'm like, look at that dumbass.
He thinks it's New Mexico.
Yeah, this doesn't seem like a very valid
list at all.
The other number is 45.
Yeah, 45 is Alabama, which I could buy that.
But New Mexico.
I just thought 45 didn't get its rightful amount of coastline.
Kyle, you can look at any state and know what state that is, right?
I would not say that, no.
Huh.
Not any state.
No, no. Like some of them them like i'm going through right now like especially even even as fucked up as i currently am like i think i could do okay
but uh but definitely there's gonna be some i don't fucking know what is what is number 31
it'll take me a minute to find 31. Center? It's near the center. It's light yellow.
Touches a great lake.
That's Illinois.
Yep, that's Illinois.
What's number nine?
I was going to say above that's Minnesota, right?
No.
No.
Minnesota's the really tall one.
It's number five up there.
How about 19? What do you got there, Blim Truth?
Fuck, man. I couldn't tell you, honestly. when it's number five up there okay how about 19 what do you got there bloom truth fuck man um
i i couldn't tell you honestly where's 19 19 is just to the right of 31
it's indiana and i think we've all been there oh yeah that's right it is indiana is indiana
18 super easy one to the right of that everyone knows ohio right oh. How about 34? Right below that.
That's Kentucky.
What a great podcast.
Hang on.
Okay, good one.
I got lost in the moment.
Guys, we're doing a new bit
where we spend half an hour
naming numbers.
I think we should stay on the same topic
and just continue talking about our favorite numbers.
Our favorite numbers, actually.
Where I took it was any surprises
and get the conversation rolling.
Taylor took it too.
Let's make this a pop quiz.
It's a pop quiz.
I thought for sure this was going somewhere.
You're going to be like, aha, that's what you think. That's what everyone thinks. But it for sure this was going somewhere. You're going to be like,
that's what you think. That's what everyone thinks.
But it turns out, this is Indiana.
I am directionless.
I'm just saying
stuff. How high are you?
You're sabotaging me.
Let's have a...
What's number 22? No!
Take the map off!
Turn the map off!
I didn't find What's number 22? No! Turn the map off! Yeah, take the map off.
I didn't find 22.
The map was a terrible influence.
And if you want more of this,
go to our Patreon.
Because all of the bonus episodes
are us talking about maps.
Oh, wow.
This is... Alright, so i just found this topic i must have bookmarked it earlier or maybe somebody i think
maybe a fan sent this topic to me what thomas steeman sentenced to 10 years for stabbing a
woman with a semen filled i heard about thiseren't we talking about that at the top of the show? We literally were.
Wait his name is Steeman?
His name is Steeman.
Steeman the semen stabber.
Steeman Seeman.
That was his high school nickname.
And I guess he took it.
Steeman stabber.
He took it literally.
The semen stabber.
Yeah he should be in jail.
You can't have people injecting cum into people against their will.
No.
The defendant's actions were truly horrific.
He intentionally went into our community with the goal of assaulting unsuspecting women.
With this one sentence, he will be removed from our community for a long time.
Ten years?
That feels like it should be more than ten years.
You're attacking someone, and as far as that lady that got injected knows,
she could have AIDS or something.
Here it is.
It's like a big deal.
Yeah.
On February 18th,
2020,
a woman called to report an assault that earlier that happened,
that occurred earlier that day in a parking lot to the grocery store.
She told officers while putting back her shopping cart,
a white male bumped into her and she felt a pain in her buttocks.
She jumped back and asked the man
if he burned her with a cigarette.
He responded with,
yeah, felt a little like a bee sting, didn't it?
Once she got home,
she observed a small red spot.
How is there a transition now?
Once police arrived,
how does he just go home then?
She observed a small red spot in what appeared to be a puncture wound on her buttocks.
She said she also felt a wet substance on her pants after the assault occurred.
What?
Police reviewed the surveillance video, which showed a white male walking up behind the victim,
pulling something out of his pocket and pushing it against her.
The surveillance video also showed the same man lunging at two additional female subjects.
The next day, the victim
observed a large, round, red
area on her buttocks. She was attacked
and sought treatment at an area hospital.
Ouch.
Steven was identified by tips from the community
and was arrested. A search
warrant was obtained. During the search,
officers found a large syringe
in the driver's side door that had an unknown liquid inside.
It was cum.
There were additional syringes found in the defendant's residence, including one syringe containing an unknown subject.
They recovered a sweatshirt pant.
That's boring.
The syringes were sent to the crime lab for DNA analysis, and the police obtained a search warrant for the
defendant's DNA. The substance
found inside the syringe
in Steemans River's side door
was identified as semen and a
DNA match.
Second-degree assault.
For his contact with a 17-year-old...
Wait, wait. Let me...
Steeman also pleaded guilty to second-degree assault
for his contact with a 17-year-old girl who was not harmed. Oh, wait, let me. Steeman also pleaded guilty to second degree assault for his contact with a 17 year
old girl who was not harmed. Oh, yikes.
So I guess he had a failed attempt
on a younger girl. Yeah. A failed
attempt? Like he missed? Well, he
wasn't harmed, so that's how I interpreted it.
He goes to stab her, but he's like
slow motion and she just matrixed out.
Well, I mean, he just came. Yeah.
You get that post-nut
clarity and you're all shaky shaky yeah should i be doing this
what are the odds that we were just talking about injecting people with cum with a syringe like i
thought you guys were talking about that yeah like no because i'd heard about this article before
no it's just a coincidence but it's so funny his name is steeman yeah well i mean you love that
i don't know if that's possible, if that's actually true.
But what a psycho.
Police arrested Gregory Rapist today.
Philip Pedophile finally brought in on charges of embezzlement.
finally brought in on charges of embezzlement.
I'm looking at the other articles on this website and they all seem legit.
Maryland's new budget politics nonsense.
CBS.
Dead body found.
It looks legit.
Holy shit.
Well, that's really disgusting
that he was running around injecting women with semen yeah i want to know what happened with like felt like a bee sting
didn't it and then what happened like it just cuts the conversation did she like
are you a fucking psychopath hang on let me take a picture of your face real quick and call the
cops she's just like don't do that again and then walks home like i don't know she's got to be
spooked by that interaction so her first thought no shit get away from this person not like yeah you know
hold an inquisition ask yeah why he did that i don't know i think you start screaming
yeah psycho yeah but i mean in the moment like it's probably so bizarre you don't suspect
something like that that someone's going to syringe you in the middle of a parking lot you
just you don't you don't a parking lot. You don't suspect
a cigarette burn either, so I'd be like...
I don't know.
It's a weird situation.
Wait, where's your cigarette, though?
Yeah.
Was he smoking?
All I have is this syringe full of cum.
Yeah.
It wasn't me.
This guy sounds like a real maniac. He's just he's not he's gonna he's just gonna hold
the syringe up be like only one person run away only one person here has put cum in a syringe
i'll just say that for science for the load stack lock and load the love of the load stack. Lock and load. For the love of the load. For the love of the load.
That's a good... Dude, we'll buy Facebook
ads and have them for the love of
the load.
Do you want to inject women with even
more cum?
Tired of those pesky
prison sentences? Well...
This is the greatest product idea ever.
Those guys out there are like,
can we get a link for that lock and load, man?
I'm going to use a turkey baster
to get it in them after this.
No more syringes.
Jesus Christ.
I mean, but 10 years does not seem like enough time.
I don't know.
Chemical warfare? Biological warfare?
It's really fucked up, but
that guy's crazy, right?
He needs to be yeah he
needs to be put in a in an institution i yeah because like like um this isn't the kind of crime
that makes sense to me it doesn't make any sense no so so like this is his fetish this is like the
first thing a batman villain does on his road to becoming a batman villain he got caught injecting
women with syringes of semen. The Riddler?
What do you think I injected
into you? Like his dicks
out?
A bunch of question
marks on his body suit?
I really
hope it was pee.
Guess again!
I don't know what the Riddler sounds like.
That's good enough.
The Riddler, I don't know the universe at all,
but it seems like he is budget Joker.
He's not doing anything as a kid.
As a kid, I always thought that.
He's like the Joker, except he asks more questions.
He's like the Joker with mass burgers.
Yeah.
He can't punish you until he asks you...
The Joker if he's really high or something.
One tells punchlines,
the other tells jokes, right?
Two ends of the spectrum.
I guess. But yeah, I always preferred
the Joker. Most people
would probably agree but uh yeah that
seems like a little a little bit redundant for bad like they're low on ideas as a matter of fact
a lot of the traditional villains are garbage to me it's like they didn't have any good ideas
the penguin as a villain makes so that's the dumbest thing first of all the penguin as an
animal isn't
very good at what it does.
I can beat up a hundred penguins by myself.
Do you know how big it...
I would have agreed with you. Not the emperor penguin.
I know, right? The emperor penguin.
Guess how big they are, Woody.
Just guess. Two and a half feet.
Eleven feet.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thirty-seven feet tall i see where you're going i didn't fill out the rest of the joke yeah let's see how tall they're actually pretty big i mean
but they're really fucking big penguins i think they're like three and a half feet tall at least
danny devito played the penguin in that bat wow Wow. Yeah. And he's awesome. True to size.
Kyle did not go 3.6 to 4.3.
Yeah.
I didn't expect.
I thought three and a half foot would be like, well, sure.
Maybe like Arnold Schwartz a penguin.
But no.
Three, six to four, three.
I did four foot tall penguins.
Yeah, right.
What are their defensive moves?
I can beat up two of them.
They don't have any. I watched the whole thing about penguins yeah right what are their defensive beat up two of them they don't have any i watched
the whole thing about penguins the other day why there are penguins on the south pole but not the
north pole and uh and like all the different kinds of penguins and stuff and i was really
surprised when we got to the emperor penguin we found out how large they are you were surprised
i was surprised people um i didn't see one next to people, no. But they did that thing where they have a cartoon
of a human being next to
the penguin, and the same thing they do
with Megalodon and stuff.
Yeah, I was like,
that's a big fucking penguin.
Yeah, they're pretty fucking big.
There's a limited number of those that I could take on
and hand to Flipper Combat.
Yeah, I mean, especially if they pack.
I like hand to Flipper, It shouldn't go unnoticed.
Do they peck?
I peck. I'm sure they do.
I mean, that seems to be the number one defense.
Oh, they peck.
I believe I could grab a beak
and just hold it.
Control the direction it goes.
How many hands do you have?
But then you've got
his comrades coming in.
It's like a kung fu movie you you separate he has an infinite number of friends from what i've seen
also i would grab them by the beacon swing around like i was on a sitting way now we're talking
can't you just fucking run away can't you just fucking run away they're pretty slow
like we have to fight them like Your back is to the ocean. Okay.
Your back is to the sea.
In that case,
I would just do a football run through.
You know what I mean?
No, you're going to be too cold.
The entire beach is slick
with penguin shit.
This is like a movie fight scene where I'm trying to
point out the
illogical parts. No, it's too cold, man.
Back to the ocean.
It's chilly.
If you've ever seen what those penguin beaches
look like, it's a slick
of frozen penguin shit
everywhere on hard volcanic
rock or something.
It looks awful for
a human to be doing combat
on.
It would be harder to run. to be doing combat on. Okay.
It'd be harder to run.
Oh,
you couldn't get away.
No.
Okay.
Okay.
Well,
in that case,
yeah,
I would,
uh,
grab the beak and then start doing some like more Chinese.
Yeah.
Uh, you don't want to go to the ground.
There's no,
um,
you're covering penguin shit.
Nice.
What's I knees distance slide distance.
I think I'd use a gun.
I didn't know a gun
was an option. I thought we were just hand to hand.
You got a yes and.
You know?
I would use a lawnmower.
I would just mow them down.
You know those tree mulchers?
Oh, God!
The tree mulchers. Hey, you guys got guns and lawnmowers.
That's what you want.
It's this apparatus on a skid steer
that kind of grinds away the tree
and brush in front of you.
That would fuck up any number of penguins.
Penguins are fucked up, though.
I was looking at the most fucked up things that penguins do
and the most fucked up things
that happen to penguins.
I don't know which is worse because if a penguin um like if its baby dies or it like breaks its egg or whatever uh it'll get really bummed out so it'll go and it'll
steal somebody else's egg or somebody else's baby and like take it yeah but then like right away
they lose interest in that fake one it's just like i feel better now and they'll just leave it to die
like they just want a replacement for like the weekend to like get them over losing theirs and
then they're like nah i'm good um but then i also saw where uh i believe it's it looked like a
walrus to me but i don't know know was just raping the shit out of a
big penguin and the penguin is just
under it like ah and all
the other penguins are like watching like Pulp Fiction
style and this enormous like
walrus thing is just
there you go I found it it's sea lions raping
penguins
but I don't want to miss
any penguin facts I'm riveted
this is wild we don't have to miss any penguin facts. I'm riveted.
This is wild.
We don't have to show this video.
I was going to say.
The name of the video is sea lions raping.
Oh, no.
That's not consensual.
All the other penguins are just standing around watching. All his friends are seeing this happen.
They don't care.
They don't give a fuck.
Look at like six seconds.
The sea lion even goes in for a kiss.
Come out and watch this.
Oh my God.
That poor penguin.
It keeps flipping back to it.
They're like, hey, check out how this beautiful landscape is.
Yeah.
Poor penguin rapes.
When they're not being raped, they live in a beautiful area.
You know, i thought this would
be more rough just because the word rapes in it but he's like just like i don't know like a dog
humps a pillow kind of like it's not he knows if he goes too hard in the paint then the the penguin
will just explode okay dude like go to like 40 seconds they do a close-up of the penguin being raped.
It looks bored.
Looks kind of like that. The penguin's all dressed up in a tuxedo.
He was kind of asking for it.
Oh, my God.
Well, sea lions seem like really rude animals.
You know, this is just like...
Rude.
He lacks...
He lacks tact.
Public sex things, it looks like to me.
It looks kind of consensual. It's pretty awful. Pretty awful. Relaxed. Relaxed tact. Public sex things, it looks like to me.
It's pretty awful.
Yeah, I don't need three minutes of this.
I think we just ruined the show again
talking about videos we're not showing people.
They can look it up.
I mean, we broke it down for them pretty well.
Exactly what they imagined is happening in the video
is happening.
It's a sea lion raping
a penguin yeah look the sea lion's gonna survive
though like I didn't
haven't people been raped by horses
I'm sorry the sea lion I said I meant to say
the penguin looks like it will be fine
I don't think the penguin is going to be fine
I think that's a dead penguin
he seemed okay
he seemed okay
he must be crushed by an 800 pound animal.
I'm not saying there's no mental trauma.
And then I don't want to minimize his pain.
There's an enormous amount of physical trauma to go along with the mental trauma.
Penguins lay eggs, probably.
That was a male penguin, Woody.
He wasn't built for it, as you
affectionately like to say.
People can have sex with chickens.
You'd think they'd be too small, but eggs
come out of there. It looked like dry humping
to me, then. That's what I was thinking, too.
I was thinking that it looks more like
I don't think he got his dick in.
I think he was dry humping it.
It looked like a dog humps a pillow.
Kyle's point point being that
big and on top of a bird with hollow bird bones like yeah that thing's fucked he probably dry
humped him because he's not a gay sea lion i'm gonna go like do you think the other sea lions
are like god teddy keeps fucking raping the penguins like i feel bad for him because he can't i feel
bad for him because he can't get any sea lion pussy but this is absurd guys he's just raping
should we say something should we bring this to the high council
the high council that should be your new thing you do on Twitch.
Just do this kind of narrative.
Make up some kind of story.
Watch a video like that.
The emperor of the emperor penguins.
Then just let my disjointed thought process
to take the rest of the bit go.
There's no way you'll get banned.
No.
I mean, hey, I'm the only one of the three of us
who hasn't gotten suspended on Twitch.
Wait, you got suspended too?
Yeah.
Wait, what did you get suspended for?
I assumed you hadn't, actually.
I didn't know you had.
Oh, I got suspended for stealing a weeb emoji emote.
I think I'd asked...
It's a funny story. I think I'd...
Somebody said, like, hey, I made this. Don't use it.
And I, like, just didn't listen.
And I just used it anyway. So I got banned
for...
I think it was seven days.
It wasn't very long.
No, it might have been less than that.
Yeah.
I got suspended for raping a penguin.
I wonder if there's any laws against that.
Yes!
Yeah, there's no way we could do that.
I don't even think you can bring a penguin here.
I feel like there's air bud rules in play here.
They didn't think of that.
They literally thought of that.
Your honor, my client had no way of knowing you're not supposed to rape these birds.
He had seen it online.
There aren't laws specifically protecting the penguin from rape, but just animals in general are protected.
Yeah, like an animal endangerment law.
And bestiality laws.
Yeah.
It's good we have those as laws.
I don't know about that.
it's good we have those as laws I don't know about that
I mean
maybe like I don't think
anybody is like not
fucking animals because it's
against the law like the kind of person
they can't express themselves they can't have
their parades they do furry stuff
oh my gosh
I bet the furry people would appreciate you
not linking them to the beastie out
people no I don't care.
Because there's no connection at all.
If a furry wanted to dog sit my dog, I would not let them do it.
I'd pay them to go away.
He shows up in his suit.
Yeah.
The dog immediately shits itself.
No, that's like, I view that as like one step away.
You know what I mean?
Like you're one step away from fucking me.
This is just the way I like to dress.
Well, then why are you hard?
I looked up North Carolina's rape laws
because I was trying to see if it was okay to rape penguins.
Asking for a friend.
The rules changed in 2019.
Good.
Previously, if a
woman gave consent
and then during the course of sex changed her mind, the guy had a right to finish.
Like you weren't.
Yeah.
No, you're making this up.
It was referred to as a rapist's right to finish.
And it should have never been in the law, let alone for 40 years.
But Thursday, this fight, the state finally did away with that unbelievably regressive loophole in its sexual assault law,
which said a person could not legally withdraw their consent for sex once underway, even if the person turned violent and abusive.
The such loopholes were not abstract points.
violent, and abusive.
The such loopholes were not abstract points.
Men were acquitted or had their charters reduced or never brought to court because they recognized
their rights over the person saying no.
I mean, it makes sense.
Your Honor, why turn one rape into two?
Just let him bust.
Get it out of his system.
But it sounds like maybe he didn't understand.
If it started as not rape,
and then she said no, maybe he got violent
or abusive, then she didn't
have the right to say no. She already green-lighted
it. That's terrifying.
Dude, your state is so scary.
Not anymore. It's been two years
since then.
Not anymore.
You're like a real-life Pawnee.
Dude.
I love...
Those are some of my favorite bits from Parks and Rec
where she's like, here's an illustration.
Here's a mural of the time
when a traveling salesman
came to town. They took him for a witch
and burned him at the stake.
And then the camera zooms out and burned him at the stake and then the camera
zooms out she goes the year was 1973 and they're they're in a car parking lot with like buicks
everybody's wearing like baseball jerseys holding pitchforks like they're burning a salesman alive
i was gonna say modern clothes yeah
that law is why it's that law is why it's so cheap to live here
in north carolina like specifically oh yeah that's they don't tell you about the good side
economic stability holy god that's awful no that's that's really bad i didn't know that
was a thing for the jim crow we've talked about the jim crow laws too and like the gun right stuff
up there um i can't remember specifically what it was but what he was like okay we've talked about the Jim Crow laws too and like the gun right stuff up there
I can't remember specifically what it was but what he was like
we've got this cool law up here in North Carolina
that like
we were disagreeing about needing a permit
for a pistol I think
and you're like that's not how it works
and I said it was
I just bought them so I was fully confident
and it turned out to be
the permit for
pistols was basically used in North
Carolina so that the sheriff
could say yes to white people and no to black people.
Have you seen those
tests? Like those old school
voting tests?
Oh, yeah, yeah. That are specifically meant
to be difficult to do. It was meant to
keep people from voting.
Where it'd be like, before you vote, you have to take this test.
Where it's like, circle the first capital letter of this sentence.
And every word would be capitalized.
And they would be like, well, you circled the first capital letter in this sentence on the page.
Or something like that.
Intentionally, if I circle the T here,
then that's not right.
Do I circle the top, the instruction one?
Intentionally vague and confusing, yeah.
It's so funny.
If you pull those up,
it's clearly just made to keep black people from voting.
Do you think there should be any test
before voting?
Yeah, they should make sure you don't rate penguins.
Is that like a blood
test? I'm sorry, sir.
You have HIP.
How would you design
a test designed to stop
black people from voting?
Just fill it with ice hockey and
Vergara questions?
Bad topic.
Even Kyle's like, let's go back to the penguin race. got a question i mean if you're gonna make any group of people not be able to vote it would
just be exactly that like just convoluted intentionally confusing questions to keep
people from succeeding oh where the maybe the person grading it has like leniency or flexibility
in what's right. Yeah.
Yeah.
Where they're like, oh, this one definitely came from a black guy.
They're like literally trick questions.
Yeah, literally trick questions.
I mean, let's just reinstitute that for everyone and see how it goes.
Only the people who see through the tricks can vote.
And see how it goes.
Only the people who see through the tricks can vote.
So the final tally is like three to one.
For like a presidential vote. The more people get all the questions right.
47 states had no successful votes.
So it comes down to three guys.
We're going to go back to the IQ map.
The IQ map.
Just one through five.
I mean,
according to that,
my IQ is, is 25,
which is severely retarded.
Mine's 29,
which is slightly less retarded,
but still retarded.
Yeah.
If only we were from Alabama or California.
They,
yeah,
they,
they used like,
what are the words they used to,
I mean,
retarded
was the word for a long time but like the old school terms they would say like this person is
feeble-minded i like that he's been studying hard he's no longer a moron now he's an idiot
i want to say literally yes they'd be like there was like a bracket that just said moron
and then idiot and then feeble-minded yeah that's a real
thing you've seen that right uh-huh like all in forrest gump yeah forrest gump well that's real
i mean it is a documentary that is a documentary uh you know it's based on a biography that's uh
so it's true that's real true story um forrest gump but uh but yeah definitely so i read forrest gump too it was terrible
oh yeah you told me about that it was it was kind of ridiculous i did not know until right
now it was a book forrest gump is a foul-mouthed character in the books really you can't get mad
at him he's well fuck jenny why won't you suck my cock It's good she didn't
Because she has AIDS
Movie better than the book there
Much better
Lord of the Rings is the same situation
Where J.R.R. Tolkien
Master world builder
Not a great author
At getting to the point
I was going to say the shining.
I prefer the movie over the book.
Books good,
but the movie's better.
Yeah.
All of like Stephen King's books are all so overwritten.
Like are all the ones I've read and I've read probably a dozen of them.
Like they're also,
they're long.
Yeah.
They're long.
I mean,
I,
I haven't read it in a few weeks,
but needful things,
the ones where, uh, you know, they, the devil has the store and he's selling things.
A few weeks? You are very current.
I haven't read it.
I haven't had sex since just before the show, so my memory fades.
That's why I stopped reading Stormlight Archive,
was to get through Needful Things and then I can bounce back to it.
But it's like
150 pages
will go by and
you'll be like one
person will have developed a little bit
or gotten more vindictive towards their
dead father's killer or whatever the fuck.
It takes fucking forever
to get through Stephen King books.
Yeah.
I've read The Shining.
I think the paperback was like 600-something pages,
and then I bought it, the book, and it was like 900-something pages.
And I'm like, man, it's a long one, so I still haven't read it.
Did you get to the underage sex scene in It?
I know about it.
I haven't read the book at all i bought it
do they have sex with each other yeah all the boys in the in the group all have sex with the
girl in the group it's like a train kind of deal like is she consenting yeah yeah yeah it's not
yeah but they're like they're like it's just an underage sex like an 11 and 12 thing yeah and it's like out of left field it's a little
weird yeah you're trying to hunt down it and figure out pennywise's history and then there
are pages of kids having sex in the movie it's like uh the new movie or whatever with uh
scar scar whatever his name is bill Bill Alexander, one of those two.
They do it much more tastefully where it's just like,
hey, these are young teens.
They're going to the river to swim
and they look at the girl,
you know what I mean?
While they're swimming.
And that's it.
That's all it does.
And I'm like, thank God.
I know about that scene.
And you don't even need that.
You don't even really need that, no.
It didn't help him catch Pennywise and it didn't really lead to a lot of character development.
It just shows that they're like what we already know that they're 13, you know, and that was not my experience at 13.
No, I was.
Would anyone be surprised like if Stephen King was accused of a bunch of ghoulish stuff like no one would i would
actually because you think so yeah i would because i think he gets his bad like his thing was always
drugs and i think any kind of like demons beyond that he got out in his writing he has like that
that outlet which is why his stuff is so long long winded and why maybe he wrote that weird fucking bit in it.
I never bought into the outlet part.
Like,
I don't know.
Some people say they like to hit things or whatever,
get all that anger out.
I like to lift weights and afterwards all my frustrations are gone.
No,
my problems are like caused by what's ever causing that problem and non
solutions like punching a wall or lifting a weight don't help me at all.
I mean, I hear where you're coming from.
We're like, you still have whatever issue you're dealing with to overcome.
But like, it does help manage my stress to lift for sure.
We're like, I'll be less anxious at the end of a lift than I was before.
Not necessarily like, oh, it's all better.
There's a lot of other positive things lifting does for me. I tend to get my sleep schedule on
point when I'm exercising hard. I tend to have my diet on point because I'm all recovery-based,
like, oh, today was freaking monstrous. I'm going to make sure I have enough protein. I'm not going
to burn my calories on sugars and fats or whatever.
Oh, and I tend to get like a little mental wellness and maybe even self-pride when I'm adhering to a good exercise schedule.
But it's certainly not anger.
When I'm angry, I will usually do a boxing workout.
It works for you.
Yeah, yeah. That works for me.
Yeah.
a boxing workout it works for you yeah yeah that works for me yeah boxing specifically because you feel like you are best way i can put it is you feel like you have a uh before you're getting
the physical frustrations out but you feel like you're you're improving your ability to fucking
punch somebody in the face if it comes down to it so it makes you feel better in a weird way but
you're not actually doing it are you good on a heavy bag uh i'm decent yeah i used to box when i was a kid
and i've been doing the uh it's it's on youtube for free it's uh boss rutin's boxing workout which
is mostly about cardio but i like to use good form when i do it um yeah it's it's a lot of fun
i like it are you still lifting a lot yes um i did i got a i had a shoulder injury or some
shit uh yeah some something happened with my rotator cuff so i had to take a break for a few
months there but uh i got back to it and i'm there now i had to take eight weeks off it ends on the
15th did you get a shoulder injury too wrist yeah i had a wrist thing too um when i took off for a it was like a something i couldn't
figure out and when i took them off my shoulder the wrist healed on its own as well so i fell
off my skateboard yesterday you sent a picture of it and it was so funny the 48 year old man
i fell off my skateboard.
Here, give me a second, and I'll get the picture to Zach. I want to see it.
I thought you were just making it look.
Oh, why am I doing that?
I literally have it on my body.
Oh, shit.
So this is, I can't seem to show it.
This is the elbow.
It's not deep at all.
It's just a little road rash.
Yeah.
The knee, you can't tell too much, but it's a little deeper.
Ooh, yeah. yeah um the knee you can't tell too much but it's a little deeper and uh i don't know both my wrists got a little banged up and my hip is bruised up uh and my ankles twisted somehow i don't remember
what part of the accident how did you fall like what were you doing
so i took my truck to get a couple recalls done and oil change
tires and i had to get home it was like six miles away so i brought
it what i call it a skateboard it was a one wheel um if anyone knows what that is and uh here i
actually have this time stamped zach can you show this just for a few minutes or one wheel i've seen
those um so i used this thing to get home and i got almost all the way home. I was like in the neighborhood.
And of course, you know what a manhole is.
You know the little ones that are like six inches?
Yeah.
It was that.
And surrounding it was a big sort of dent, you know, a low point in the asphalt.
And I just hit it too fast.
I hit it at full speed.
I got kind of –
Oh, this thing.
Yeah.
I got like little speed wobbles and
ate it because i i intentionally ran over it i i saw it identified it as no big deal and i was
wrong is that harder or easier than regular skateboarding on the big wheel harder but if
you're good at it it's a little better for running over stuff because the wheel's so tall you don't
ever get stopped up by
like a rock or even a small tree branch or something you can do it in the grass i was
gonna say uh when i did injure my shoulder i wanted something to do so i i got a skateboard
sent it back within like three days because really yeah because i just i can't i don't know i couldn't
uh it's not your cup of tea.
Not my cup of tea.
I felt unsafe.
So I got a fucking scooter.
Like you are unsafe.
I did it a lot when I was young.
There was a period in school where bicycles became uncool.
So you had to either like walk or take a skateboard to get to school.
So I would, I skated as transportation when I was a teenager sometimes.
And, um, uh, I surfed. That was like my whole identity and stuff when I was a teenager sometimes. And I surfed.
That was like my whole identity and stuff when I was a teenager.
Yeah.
So I have a little bit of board skills that like above average.
I'm not special. I skated when I was younger, like high school.
And I got decent at it.
But when I stopped, that's why I kind of went back.
And I'm like, man, I've lost everything.
And I don't feel like good um doing it i don't know i felt very good until i realized i'm not
very good overconfidence yeah but i i'm like both my wrists hurt i'm limping on the one ankle like should i start acting my age
when you when you said that i was like i hope you never start acting your age because that is like
the most endearing thing about you almost 50 and you're like you get into a new hobby and you're
like i'm i'm fucking in both feet jumping in i'm flying around i'm
skateboarding i i remember back to the the lawn care thing that was like just the woodworking
that was a long long time ago but probably even that was before your youtube it was yeah i had
a website did you get good like woodworking what could could you make? Or what did you make, I guess? I enjoyed bigger things.
And the prestige in woodworking,
the way to be beyond just average,
was to do the Neanderthal stuff.
So I got good with a hand plane.
I'd hand cut dovetails with a saw.
And I made things and tables.
I made beds like the headboards and the bottoms and the footboards.
Tables are super easy.
You can bang those out kind of quickly.
I guess that's it.
I made a sleigh bed, which was pretty badass.
I always imagine like being really into woodworking,
you're probably not really into like the staining and finishing part.
Or maybe you, because like, I feel like you'd like like the staining and finishing part. Or maybe you,
because like,
I feel like you'd like build the whole thing and be like,
okay,
now there's a chore that I have.
So a little mixed up the prepping for the staining,
which is like,
it's the sanding basically is a chore.
You do all the cool stuff.
All you're like feeling of accomplishment is this thing is starting to
assemble.
You don't get that in sanding.
Instead you get like emphysema and and really small amounts of progress like it's a little smoother now than before and but if you don't do it well then your laziness shows up during the
staining and the staining is not a ton of work, but it reveals like it converts what's kind of a plain wood thing to a piece, you know, the finished product.
Do you have anything in your house now that you built?
And the guest?
Yeah, yeah.
We've got a table that I made for kids that now the George Foreman's use.
I have the bed in the guest house I made.
The end tables in the master
bedroom are mine. I don't know. There's stuff around.
That's awesome.
That's one of those
intensive hobbies.
I'll look into stuff
like that. I'll watch people like
blacksmith or woodwork and be like, okay, this is
far beyond my ability.
I need to find a hobby that's
a little more my style and archery
has been fucking awesome i've been shooting that bow every day a ton i bought a 3d turkey to put
in my backyard i've been shooting at that it is i am like i'm loving it and with 30 pound draw
like i i think i shot it i have a dozen arrows broke. I think I shot about 400 arrows in a day,
like just over and over trying to get better at it.
Like in between, like looking at you.
Was 12 the right amount of arrows?
Or do you wish you had like 20 though that you didn't have to retrieve?
Yeah, I already ordered more.
I wish I had a lot more arrows.
But the guy at the store tried to sell me like three.
And it was like,
dude,
don't you're losing yourself money right now.
Like tell me to buy a hundred and I would have,
but I hear three.
I'm like,
what is this?
A cardio program?
I'm into archery.
Not hiking.
Like already,
like my sunroom,
which obviously walks out to my,
my backyard has three archery targets a couple bows
like and i already have i i got different uh what are they called tabs that you use like around your
hand when you're pulling and that was just because the guy at the archery store i was like should i
buy a glove or tabs and he was like definitely tabs it's a it's a much easier release and it
was 100 right i ordered a glove off amazon before he had told me that I got the glove today and it's way too
small. They said to buy like a size smaller than your like normal gloves. And so I, and my,
it fucking sucks. My hand barely fits in there. So I'll probably return it. Um, I'm, it is like
such a fun little hobby that I'm into now, like in the middle of the day now just,
Oh,
I don't have a meeting again until one.
I've sent out all my feelers,
everything I need to do for whatever work I'm doing that day.
I'm going to go shoot a couple quivers of art.
Not like I'm wearing a quiver.
I'm in my backyard. So I just put it all on my,
uh,
the table by my grill and I just shoot from there.
But it is,
it's like a fun,
satisfying feeling when you hear like that like when it hits right where
you're aiming it's awesome i'm really enjoying archery so far are there reactive targets in
archery uh i don't know what react oh so on guns you could like um shoot a tree and the target like
flips to the other side you maybe you've seen them, like the dueling. Yeah, I've never used one of those with a gun even.
Oh, I've lost several times.
I've never won.
Yeah, I don't think.
I have a badger bag that makes a nice, satisfying thunk when I hit it.
I have this foam one that doesn't really make a sound.
But even after shooting at the bag for the week or two i've been doing this
a lot the the holes don't go away obviously like when you pull out of this bag and it's already
fucking peppered and destroyed the entire thing whereas the foam one it doesn't give you that
satisfying thunk but like you can barely tell i've shot that thing like you think it'd be like a sandbag that
the holes do go away yeah i i don't know i i just bought that one and then the turkey thing i have
i i'm so glad i went with a 30 pound draw because it's almost going through the turkey at like
15 20 yards and if i had the 50 poundpound draw, which I did buy 55-pound
limbs to try a new thing,
but even after
that, I'm like, I don't think I can shoot this in my yard.
This would blast through
my... I have a back fence,
a big privacy fence,
and even with the 30 pounds, I missed
the target the other day,
and it buried
an inch past.
Like it went through the fence about an inch.
Was the arrow damaged?
No.
Ironically, the arrow wasn't damaged or from what I can tell it wasn't.
But I also go to the archery subreddit and people will post like people will post dresses or something.
Yeah.
People will post pictures of an arrow that has like the tiniest little crack.
And they'll be like, do not shoot that.
Do not shoot it.
And it's like, I don't want to get this into it.
Like, you know, I also don't want to do it.
That wouldn't matter.
They're worried arrows are going to explode.
Yeah.
But a 30 pound draw, which is only like 35 at 30 inch draw is it's hopefully not going to shatter but you have have you tried
the 55 pound draw yet it hasn't arrived yet oh i thought you said you had it yeah i i have it
or i i ordered it okay but it hasn't arrived yet and so i'm excited to try that out i don't think
i'll do it in my yard i have a couple friends who have like farms and big properties and so i'll go
out there to fuck with it because I don't want to blast
an arrow right through my fence.
I want you to do it like Lord of the Rings
to see how far it'll go.
Just towards the road.
Yeah.
But if you go...
Would you be able to find it again?
You'd be able to. Oh, no.
If I just shot way up in the air,
that shit'll go a long way i
probably won't be able to find it like after harvest maybe you know i'm pretty sure now
i'm pretty sure you could uh put one of those little trackers on it with an app on your phone
and just like find a sod farm shoot that thing as far as it'll go that would be fun like pretending to be at hell's deep
yes and I'm defending
and I'm defending the castle against
the Uruk-hai yeah
that's pretty good shoot a couple in a row and have more
than one arrow in the air
I like you know when like
you become internally embarrassed
by your own thoughts
like I'll be like out
there like shooting and I'll be like I there like shooting and I'll be like,
I'm like fucking Legolas.
And then like,
and then my own subconscious will be like,
that is so gay,
dude,
doing that.
But I don't want to,
it feels good.
It's fun.
But yeah,
it's a really fun little hobby,
man.
If you like doing it,
just fucking keep doing the Lord of the Rings,
you know,
role playing and stuff.
Oh, I'm not going to stop archery because people are making fun of me.
I play Magic the Gathering.
That has tempered my soul to mockery.
I think I really want you to have a bow and arrow based Halloween costume this year.
Oh, yeah.
Legolas would be fantastic.
That would be cool. Halloween is like three. Oh, yeah. Legolas would be fantastic. That would be cool.
Halloween is like three weeks away. Order.
I'm just the
fattest Legolas
in the land.
Long blonde hair.
Just vastly
overweight. Please do it. I really like Robin Hood.
Bearded. Yeah, Robin Hood
could work. Ooh, intense though.
Oh, you know like Robin Hooding?. Yeah, Robin Hood could work. Ooh, in chains, though. Oh, you know, like Robin Hooding?
Apparently it's like an archery term.
Like, oh, you Robin Hooded an arrow?
Like, it's not even uncommon.
And like these real archers, I don't know why I put quotes.
They are better archers than me.
I fucking suck.
But they'll be like, I always try to not do the Robin Hood.
The first dozen, two dozen times, it's a little cool.
But after that, you just start to get mad about the lost money and arrows.
And it's like, this is not a problem I'm going to have.
Of accidentally being so accurate that I hit the same arrow.
No chance.
It's a bunch of fun.
Kyle, I saw that bow that you linked me.
The one that's like $1,700. Or no, it was like $1, kyle i saw that that bow that you linked me the one that's like 1700
bucks or no no it was like 1100 bucks maybe something like that yeah i think you're gonna
pull the trigger and get it uh it'll probably be that one if i get a bow yeah um because uh
i like that it's the fastest one uh and that's literally all i'm going on so that's good enough
fps yeah yeah it's like 362 feet per second or something like that. That's really fucking fast
for a bow. I want to hear that in an
arrow.
I don't even know. It has to make a
...
I don't know.
What sound does it make?
I'm going to put some...
Kyle knows.
No, no, no. The sound that you want to hear.
It goes...
What does an arrow sound like at 300 feet per second i'd like to put some of those you know
those things that they put on the hood of cars to make the like whistle so it scares deer away
i want some of those but on my arrow so it just screams every time you fire it
maybe you'll trade deer to dislike them advanced hunting i want them to have a 0.6 second where
they know they're gonna die oh they can hear it they can't react quite fast enough but like you
can see the slow motion like when he releases the bow it makes that ka-thunk and you'll see
in slow motion the deer will start reacting it'll start like getting low on its haunches or whatever
to like take off but like it's not nearly
fast enough to dodge an arrow that one that you have you don't even pull it back with fingers
right like you have a little switch that you gotta release yeah like straps it straps to your wrist
and then you're holding on there's a lot of different designs but you're holding on to a
thing and it's essentially giving you a rifle trigger on a thing that probably makes you a
million times more accurate.
Oh, yeah.
Having to fiddle fuck with your fingers, because that's something I'm having trouble with is like I'm watching these with the recurve, like these videos instructing it.
And they're like, don't release it.
Just create back tension and push forward and then just relax your hand.
But it's so unnatural to like relax when you're holding something because like you get halfway into relaxing and now it's just being held a knuckle up it's very i don't know it's it it's hard and
i watched a video you want to keep your pupil directly under it because otherwise if you're
like too far to the left pulling like that it's not going to shoot straight but then i put my
pupil behind where it's being pulled and i can't see any fucking thing because it's i'm looking through the bow you know what i mean
and i'm trying to figure out aiming correctly it it's tough yeah the uh yeah it's a lot easier
with the compound because you've got like a rifle trigger you know you're pulling that's really you
have a sight and you have a sight yeah you know you've got a peephole in the back and you've got
a nice bright little pin in the front yeah i don't know it's a fun little hobby i'm enjoying it i don't
if i ever wanted to hunt with it i would definitely learn how to do a recurve bow
but i imagine a recurve bow with a fucking release would be so intuitive after like learning the
muscle memory of how to draw a recurve yeah i don't know um
i've shot both but 95 of my time was on compound bows i kind of got the recurve bow just to goof
around i mean that's what i'm doing goofing around and i was telling you in the in the text like i
was imagining myself when i was first shooting like missing the target by huge amounts like
it really is a pretty intuitive like draw and shoot thing
like i'm even though i'm a fucking bad archer like i'm still hitting the target pretty much
like it's only 20 yards away at most but it yeah it's a cool little i i have a friend
who is so into guns he spends thousands of dollars a year. He has a ridiculous armory.
And I was texting him about archery
and he's like,
yeah, that's how I got started
in obsessive gun collection
is I got into archery
because I thought it would be cheaper.
And then a friend of mine
had me shoot his gun
and now I own 67 guns.
So we'll see.
Maybe I'll get into guns later.
But there's something like
aesthetically fun
about like pulling it back,
seeing the arrow, the thunk
of the target. I'm really enjoying it.
I can't see the bullet. I only
mentioned that because Kyle can
somehow.
I don't know.
You can shoot a steel target, which doesn't really leave
a mark. If you've never shot
a steel target, audience,
then it's obviously
a piece of metal. There's already
130 little dots on it.
You don't shoot it and see your new dot.
It's just lost in the noise.
Kyle adjusted
my scope for me.
He's like, yeah, I just shoot with my eyes open.
Look where the bullet...
See the bullet fly through the air at
whatever, Mach 1. Then adjust the scope accordingly. look where the bullet like see the bullet fly through the air at whatever mach one and then
adjust the scope accordingly i can't see bullets fly in the air how did you learn to do that kyle
you just don't blink and you can actually you can see the bullet you can see that it depends on the
bullet in question right so like a 30 caliber rifle bullet, not so much. You can see the vapor trail, but with like subsonic stuff,
especially like 22 stuff.
And really, if you've got the sun behind you,
so it kind of shines off the back of the bullet.
Yeah, you can see those bullets.
How far away do you have to shoot before you can see it?
We weren't far.
It depends.
It depends on what you're shooting.
But for me to see the vapor trail, it kind of needs to be far.
We were like 25 yards from the target.
Yeah, if it's something smaller, especially if it's 22,
you can definitely see them.
And it depends on the weather, too.
There's no way I can see a bullet.
There's no way.
You're almost certainly going to see the vapor trail
and not the actual bullet outside of certain subsonic situations and obviously tracers and then i've
seen them from like longer ranges i can see if i've got the sun behind me yeah yeah well i mean
even at short distances i felt like i saw tracers you know yeah you see it yeah and it depends on
the tracer because like the 5556 tracer doesn't light up
until pretty far out.
It's lame.
But pistol tracer,
like 9mm and.45 and.22
lights up right out of the barrel.
So you've got a Star Wars ray gun.
I shot a saw that had tracer ammo in it
at a car.
And that was really neat.
You could use the tracers to adjust your aim.
Which I guess is the idea, right?
Yeah.
Yeah.
It works great.
And your,
your dad taught you all that or were there other people in your life that
were,
Oh,
most of my dad that I learned to shoot from.
Cause,
and,
and most of what we did was rifles,
like bolt
rifles and shot told me this that i'm going to retell kyle's story but his father told him that
he needs to be good at adjusting scopes because it's a rare talent and now everyone needs you to
do it for him and it's a good place to be and it was like there's some fucking mental jujitsu
happening that's not good.
That's like having a truck when people are moving.
It can be.
It can be.
Okay.
I guess it depends on who's asking, you know, whether you want to twist the knife.
Like, yeah, sure, I can adjust your scope for you, but I have to move.
So we'll call it even.
Yeah.
Well, you'd want to adjust your own scope, right?
Because otherwise, next time they're not near you or an expert,
they won't know what the fuck to do.
You just go back.
I mean, if you've got your scope on correctly
with good mounts and stuff like that,
you've really got to fuck up to get it off.
Like, you've got to bang your rifle pretty hard.
Or, like, changing bullets or changing scopes.
As long as you're, like're leaving everything the way it is,
it'll kind of stay set for years and years.
Especially if you're like me
and the guns rarely leave the safe anymore.
Yeah.
I own a gun I've never fired,
just a 12-gauge shotgun,
because I can't...
I own a couple that I've never fired.
I inherited them.
I just haven't taken them to a range or anything.
So do you have no interest in shooting in blame truth?
I bought this shotgun because a it's America and I can be,
it's for home.
Like it's cliche,
but it's for like home defense.
I got fired guns before.
So I only plan to use it if I have to.
What stock is on it?
Is it a full one you put on your shoulder
or like a little it's a full one yeah um i can't remember the i think it's like an off-brand kind
of like mossberg-esque uh 12 gauge uh it's been in my closet for years but yeah it's just i have
one of these i think i saw a richard ryan video where he threw something in the air, had a shotgun in one hand with a pistol grip, and shot something in very slow motion.
And he looked like such an action figure hero.
I was like, well, now I need one of those.
They look cool.
I went to a pawn shop, and there was one that he was in a bit of disrepair.
and there was one that it was in a bit of disrepair.
It was sticky and gummed up
having lived under the bar
for bad
people, I guess.
There was an endless amount of Jack Daniels
and shit spilled on it.
I cleaned it up and fired it
and it seems super reliable
and the action is good now. It's not hard to clean
the shotgun.
It's like, oh oh i got an expensive
shotgun with little history which i think i was gonna say the the history part is one of the
coolest things like it's a fucking rough bar like right you know like defense mechanism in a way
and all that jack daniels and shit i'd be fucking cool i i kind of like that over a new one honestly um i think so too yeah i got it at a pawn
shop yeah pawn shops around here uh you can get so many good deals um in north carolina so you know
yeah like so many good deals on guns um yeah i got this one from a friend and it was just like
i think i had a uh what was it um i can't remember what it was but it was really old it
was some inherited shotgun and um i'm like i want to get something a little bit newer
that's more trustworthy and i just got this from a buddy of mine and yeah it's just sitting in the
closet but i have a double barrel shotgun and it seems like they're worse in every way. Cooler.
They're fucking cool.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I can see why they're so popular in like television and movies.
It's just that flip.
And then like the way that it breaks open.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's so fucking.
Yeah.
And then you can fire one or two barrels and you can fire two at once on some of
them you can they got like hammers that you cock in the back uh you can so you can give them both
barrels i don't have much experience with mine but i don't think it works like that it doesn't
there's like a trigger that or like a lever that chooses which one of the it activates yeah and
it's always the same one first. Oh, okay.
Have you seen mine? It sounds like you know it better than me.
I'm just guessing the type that you have, that you don't have some sort of
old Wild West style with the hammers
and the double triggers. Okay.
Yeah.
I got it from my father-in-law, and I like that
history about it, too. I liked it.
Yeah.
Yeah, that's one thing my mom does hoard that's good.
It's guns.
They're in there.
They're in there somewhere.
They were in the safe where that's been stolen and lost.
No, I think she's got a separate gun
safe.
I'm not sure how many she has. I'd say
probably
a dozen. Last I counted, roughly. I'd say probably a dozen.
Last I counted, roughly.
I got a survival gun that's like double barrel.
And one barrel is a shotgun and the others are 22.
Interesting.
I've seen those.
Yeah.
I've seen it.
The Russians used something very similar in their Soyuz capsules when they would come back from space.
Because sometimes those things would go off course
and they would land in Siberia or something.
So they needed this thing that would do several different things.
So they could defend themselves from a bear,
but also maybe shoot a squirrel.
Ah, okay.
That's very cool.
Yeah.
Well, if I'm ever in a space capsule,
I can bring my own gun thank you
no that's that's really awesome though I'll have to see what my mom has next to my mom here um
I'll take some more pictures of the hoarding as well but the uh I want to say she's got a double
barrel um I want to say she's got several rifles um i'd have to look but yeah she's got a
pretty extensive little collection i think a lot of them were uh heirlooms as well like you know
things passed down so these might be really fucking old actually yeah there's a lot of those
rifles that have like different uh like two different caliber barrels on them uh the
one that i always wanted as a kid was called the contender and it's uh they always had it like at
the gun shop and it was this like pistol that had like i don't even know how many different calibers
it could be but it was a bunch like it was bunches of different barrels you could put on this pistol
and uh and then they had like all the bullets that would the different calibers that could be
listed on it it was always fascinating to me.
It was like, yeah, you just need the one gun and you got them all.
But of course, it was just a real weird, unique piece of junk.
I like the cowboy guns.
And I'm totally into it.
Taylor and I should play cowboys and Indians because I would be all about the lever action and the western pistol and the
chaps and fucking a horse yep fucking horses totally i'll i'll be the bow guy when you and
i will get absolutely dominated as we saw i have set myself up for success can we be teammates
maybe we just be teammates do you you think that was a funny realization?
Who's the enemy?
Who is the enemy?
You show up at Plymouth Rock
Look, it's the Irish!
They still have bows and arrows.
We're going to win so hard.
The Spanish conquistadors,
they probably thought the same thing when they landed.
They're like, this Mayan Empire, they've got rocks strung to sticks.
They're fucked.
We have armor and we're armed conquistadors.
They literally thought that the conquistadors on horses were one thing.
They thought that was a giant four-legged man wearing armor.
What a bunch of dumbasses.
They should have seen when he got off.
You know what I mean?
I guess clearly.
I guess they didn't get off.
You guys should see the Halloween thing,
like Woody's the cowboy and Taylor's the Indian,
although I don't know.
I got my costume already.
I was COVID concerned, you know?
Sometimes I want to show up.
Fair enough.
I do.
We do cowboys and Indians, but I show up
in brownface with a dot.
And Woody shows up as a football player.
Isn't it great?
I was going to say, I don't know the
ramifications of you wearing the
Native American headdress, but you just took it
a step further, so there you go.
I got a topic.
Yeah.
It's interesting to me.
So China created more billionaires than America.
And now they're doing what the left talks about doing,
which is like a wealth redistribution.
They're cracking down on billionaires.
They said they're going to regulate
excessively high incomes
and encourage high income people
and enterprises to return more to society.
I guess they have 600 million people,
which is a lot,
that live on $150 a month.
And then they have more billionaires
than America does.
You hear about America's income inequality,
but China takes it to a greater extreme.
And now the Communist Party feels like in order to stay in charge
and stay popular,
they need to start redistributing the wealth of the billionaires.
Is that good? Is that smart?
I mean, it sounds good, that smart i mean it sounds good but who knows
it sounds good if it's a bunch of liberals on this podcast well no it sounds good if it's
billionaires like there's a certain point where like like maybe i'm just more frugal than most
people but like i would never i wouldn't know. You could get by on just $1 billion.
I could snake buy.
I don't know, Blanchard.
You sound a lot like Trump right now.
This is a sick callback.
But I'm Bernie Sanders.
You say with the brown face and the red dot on your head
I'm Elizabeth Warren
I'm more of a
Senator Warren type
but no
I don't know
there's a certain point where it's like
you're just kind of a dick
if you're that rich and there's that many people
poor but at the same time.
I agree with you.
It's a slippery slope.
I wouldn't come after millionaires.
I think it's...
No?
We'll not do that.
How about half a bill?
Not like a 3-4 millionaire guy. Half a bill.
Half a bill?
That's a lot of money.
That'd probably be the cutoff. I think over half a bill. Half a bill? That'd probably
be the cutoff. I think over half a bill.
I'm going to inflation proof it. Keep it at a billion.
Don't index it to cost of living.
Anything more than a billion,
I mean, I saw this on Reddit. They name the dog park
after you, they say you won capitalism.
And they give the rest to the people.
I was going to say, the billion thing is like
so much more than
a million. You know what I mean?
It's crazy.
It's the difference between.
Oh, maybe you're going to say the same stat.
Oh, I was going to say.
No, I wasn't.
But I was going to say it's like the difference between somebody that has $1,000 and $100,000.
It's a big fucking difference.
I'm going to ask Blaine Truth because I've asked Taylor before.
He might get it right.
All right.
A million seconds.
How long do you think that is?
I don't know.
Throw a number out there.
This sound really stupid.
No,
it's okay.
Now when he gets it right.
Million seconds.
I don't know.
All right.
Three years.
It's 11 days.
Oh,
okay.
Damn.
You were so off.
I was very off.
Billion seconds.
How long do you think that is?
Three years.
It's 32 years.
Okay.
There you go.
From 11 days to 32 years.
There you go.
You've told me this before and I forgot and I'm surprised again.
If that's not perfect, it's really close.
And it's just like, whoa, 11 days and 32 years. Like, I don't know.
You hear millionaire and billionaire, and they do have a lot of letters in common.
So they're probably about the same.
No, they're very, very different.
Very different.
Yeah.
I have a friend that lives.
Well, I don't know him, know him, but he's like an acquaintance.
He's a, I think he's a millionaire,
but lower end, like $2 million
or whatnot.
That is so much
different
than a
billionaire in general.
It's so fucking far off.
He can afford to live
well for the rest of his life, not to spend any money.
That's what a millionaire is. He can afford yeah he's a low-grade multi-millionaire he can afford to not work if he never makes a financial mistake yeah he's just got to watch his finances
maybe work a little bit you know with i think his thing is uh i think he was a some sort of
trader i can't remember but uh you know You could work very little and just maybe make some investments and play it safe and you're good to go.
A billionaire can afford to make a lot of financial mistakes.
They can make penis-shaped rockets.
Exactly.
It's so different.
Exactly.
It's so different.
And even a low-level billionaire like Trump,
he can have a million, not a million,
like failed ventures, a ton of failed ventures.
And it's like, oh, I'm still a billionaire.
Who cares? Even being worth like three or four billion
is low-level billionaire, but that's fucking absurd.
It's outrageous.
To me, it's the things you can do
without noticing the money's gone like if you were if you woke up one morning and said i kind of want
to have lunch in france like there's a place there i think is cool you could you could just go yeah
that's just on the table and you're flying and there's no thought in your head
about cost like it doesn't even hit your your sense of of money like it's so nothing
wild world to live in it's like you buying lifesavers i feel that literally yeah i feel
that way when i'm like i wake up and and I'm like, I want fucking Waffle House.
And I go and I get it.
And like lunch in France would be like that.
You know what I mean?
If I was rich as fuck, like just I'll take my private jet.
I will go to France.
You know what I mean?
I'll wear my goddamn $9,000 suit, you know, like stuff like that.
Yeah, a $9,000 suit that you don't even look good in.
Yeah.
Because you're so fat.
Because you're a billionaire.
And you can just be as fat as you want.
Oh, yeah, Trump.
Yeah.
I mean, I'm sure there are a lot of other fat billionaires.
Probably most of them are a little – they struggle with their weight.
I don't know actually the ones
in my head don't gates doesn't bezos doesn't zuckerberg doesn't that's fair did you see uh
did you see that video and and i don't even know if i judge him i just thought it was funny that
it was a video it's zuckerberg uh being picked up in uh like a suv and he just stands by the
door like waiting on the driver to get out,
come around, and open the door.
For a minute. Maybe I'm exaggerating.
Call it 35, 45 seconds.
He's just standing at the door like,
am I expected to operate this thing?
It'd seem like a bigger pain
in the ass to have someone open your door than
to hold on the handle.
Am I giving him way
too much of the benefit of the doubt to
suggest that maybe there's a germ thing?
Or maybe he's afraid of syringes
behind door handles or something like that?
Maybe Zuckerberg has a reason
not to open a door?
Or is he just an asshole?
He is. Yeah, me too.
His haircut is
outrageous.
Wait, wait. You were the dumb and dumber
bit where he pulls him over and he calls him a
pumpkin pie haircut.
That's what he looks like.
He looks absurdly worth, what,
40 billion, not more than that,
probably almost 100 billion dollars,
and he's cutting his own hair.
He has a transformation coming. I'm calling it.
I'm calling it.
And what, a lizard?
As was named with Alien.
Elon Musk go from, like, super ugly losing it dude to kind of buff, strong, hair came back guy.
We've seen Bezos go from, like, Walter White to Heisenberg.
Zuckerberg, it's coming, man.
That guy is going to look – he he's gonna get testosterone injected into him
he's gonna get a new haircut and he's gonna be an enhanced version of himself and then he'll
still be five seven is he yeah yeah he's fine so is jeff bezos yeah all right this makes me feel a
little better not because he needs a beard i don't think he can grow one that can be solved
you can minoxidil your cheeks
am I right Kyle right?
and get a better haircut
you really
hammer it home get a better haircut
that's the one
he's right he looks
like an asshole
that's what helped Elon Musk not look so
ridiculous he looks a million That's what helped Elon Musk not look so ridiculous.
He looks a million times better.
I think Elon Musk...
Look, I could be 100% wrong on this. Has he had
some plastic surgery where
maybe he falls into that category of
would he have looked better without it?
I don't think he said plastic surgery. I think he's just odd looking.
Yeah.
Can we get a current Elon Musk picture, please?
Because if he has like weird
like when he smiles if wrinkles don't form then he probably had something but if he looks like
normal look a little bit like the character from saul yeah yeah they look lumpy yeah and i'm like
oh maybe maybe he's had some surgery and i'm not saying like i always argue for the plastic surgery
like yeah this guy doesn't look great but um who knows what he would look like without it at all he don't i don't think
he's 50 something 50 if i told you he was a rough 39 you'd be like you kind of see it yeah but we
you got to take into account again um he went he was going bald really early. The hair restoration. Yeah, and he got hair plugs.
Amazing.
That's beautiful.
That's the main thing, yeah.
And the hair color.
I don't see a single gray in there.
For a 50-year-old, he must dye it.
Now, he doesn't have any forehead wrinkles,
which I remember from my mom would get Botox,
and she just stopped getting forehead wrinkles,
and you look like an absolute ghoul when you smile
when you don't have forehead wrinkles and you look like an absolute ghoul when you smile.
When you don't have forehead wrinkles or proper side wrinkles.
I can't...
Maybe he's just...
Maybe that's edited out or something.
It's probably Photoshopped.
But you only have forehead wrinkles
in some...
Mine only...
If I were relaxed, I would have zero forehead wrinkles i
have always like crow's feet yeah um he's got a little crow's feet there a small amount you can
i don't know i can't i've seen him as a as like when he was younger his face doesn't look any
real like it doesn't look different the only curious part to me about like having had
treatment is the left side of his mouth are right looking at it yes it's not as upturned as the
other side and i totally remember that from my mom like just not being able to smile correctly
anymore oh so you think like uh botox was applied imperfectly i i would think maybe there or maybe not even
imperfectly because i'm sure you're the best people but sometimes that's just what it does
like it yeah maybe maybe they inject it perfectly and your body's asymmetrical reacting to it yeah
yeah you know if if he did get the hair restoration it's not out of the question that he yeah maybe
he got something oh he 100 got the hair restoration oh yeah absolutely i mean i'm just saying one
thing leads to another you know you get one and then you kind of if he didn't get hair
restoration he's sitting on a secret more valuable than his empire no this is funny
bald elon pictures on the internet balding and then uh what's his name jeff bezos he
like that picture of him and the like compared to him in the late 90s.
He legit looks so much cooler.
He looks like the Terminator.
I think the Walter White to Heisenberg transformation is descriptive.
That's good.
For sure.
I like that a lot.
Yeah, he got pretty fucking big.
And then he went to space.
And he's breaking out of that you know that nerdy bookstore
yeah right it's like running amazon is no longer his passion it seems from a distance that now he's
like oh there's other shit i'd rather be doing yeah look at that look at that look at that right
arm vascularity dudes i was gonna say i would i would love to just dress like this. He has four-digit testosterone levels.
Oh, yeah.
And those glasses, even those are cool.
Those are cool.
Not everyone can pull them off.
Can you make it bigger?
He looks great.
That's what she said.
Ah, the Zynga.
His arms are huge.
Schillinger.
Schillinger. Schillinger.
Schillinger.
Is it Mike from Breaking Bad?
But Schillinger's better.
Yeah, he's about to rape a guy
and put a swastika right next to his
butthole. That's what he looks like.
He looks exactly like that guy.
It looks like he just did that 10 minutes ago this is his post-rape strut talking about that actor i don't recall what
jk simmons is that right that's jk simmons that's his name is i i watched like i had in my head him
as the hard nazi like scary guy from oz and i watched months and months ago with my brothers,
uh,
the movie where he's like the band camp guy or like whiplash whiplash.
And it was like really difficult to reconcile,
like how hardcore he was supposed to come off as with the fact that he's
telling people to drum faster.
Like,
it's like,
this guy is a bitch.
Yeah. He's a little music minded bitch who isn't
very threatening and everybody's scared of him i guess because their future careers depend on him
but yeah it's just like his like whole like oh this guy's so intense he's more annoying yeah
he's more like dude shut the fuck up like you're a college music teacher that's not my tempo
yeah okay he's screaming it
although it what i will say it was a great movie i yeah he's very he's very good in it but yeah
it's a it's weird because he's not gonna punch you in the face you know what i mean like yeah
you can't do anything it's like the the stakes were so low in my mind because i'm so not music
minded that i'm like who cares you clearly are tremendous at drumming. Go find a guy who's not an absolute cunt to you
and he'll say you're great at drumming.
Yeah, exactly.
Not this guy.
Did either or any of you watch the Sopranos movie
after we talked about it?
I watched it.
You turned me off to it.
I don't even want to anymore.
I watched it.
I thought...
I need a more toned down word than exaggerating.
When you said it was the something Moltisanti,
what's his full name?
His first name.
Dickie Moltisanti.
When you said it was the Dickie Moltisanti movie,
I was like,
all right,
it's not going to actually be the Dickie Moltisanti movie.
It's going to be too much of him when we really care about Tony.
No,
no,
it is not about Tony.
I can hardly think of a parallel. care about Tony. No. No. It is not about Tony. Tony...
I can hardly
think of a parallel. It's like saying
Star Wars was about BB-8.
Like, this is a side character
that barely had a role.
I don't know what they were thinking.
Like, Tony Soprano is like...
And this is the guy who made the show, right?
He knows Tony Soprano is the point of the Sopranos.
He knows he's the main character.
I mean, but, but somehow, and I get this isn't really Tony Soprano, but like, you've got
to know that if I'm watching your movie, it's because I want to know more about Tony Soprano
as a child, not, and I want to see his mother.
I'd love it if uncle junior's in there, if his, if Tony's dad is in there, but like Dickie
is who I'm least interested in because he's someone I heard about one time.
I want to see how you've recast the young versions of characters I knew and how those portrayals come off.
That's kind of what I want to see.
And I especially want to see Tony.
I care about Tony.
And I guess she wouldn't be in this, but Chris Moltisanti's wife I always thought was kind of an interesting
character
the hot stripper chick
well Adriana wasn't a stripper
okay
she could have been
anyway
she was a good person in the midst of the mob
and I thought that dynamic was interesting
but she was too young for this
it was about Tony for me
and I was really dynamic was interesting but she was too young for this. It was about Tony for me and
I was really disappointed.
Yeah, me too.
Not only was it not as good as I hoped
it would be or compelling,
it wasn't about what I wanted it to be about
and my theory is they're milking
it. Like the next one's going to be
about Sal or the next one's
going to be about Pauly and
finally someday we'll get our tony one
and it's like no they're done is it going to be a series of movies no they're done
my theory was they wanted there to be a series of movies but this one's not successful enough
to carry it this is true i i don't know what i don't know what they were thinking if if anything
they should have made like Mini Saints of New York
TV show. You could have done that.
And then maybe
it's fine that you spent the first
two episodes with Tony Soprano
as a side character for some reason.
He's all I care about. I don't care about
Dickie. I don't care about Ray Liotta's
character either.
Yeah. Characters, right?
Did he play two guys?
Yeah, he played twins or something.
I'm watching it.
I remember three quarters of the way through it being like,
I'm done with this. I just went to bed.
I don't think they finished it.
Yeah.
If you ever watched the last quarter, you to see the uh the ending which took me by
surprise but um i i bet i could guess do you want to yeah but um i think the answer will spoil it
for these two i don't care you can type it i haven't seen i haven't seen soprano all right
so my guess okay i do not care i am gonna type it so that it doesn't so. I haven't seen Soprano at all. I am going to type it
so that we don't spoil it for the audience.
I'm guessing the surprise is who kills
Dickie Moltisanti. Is that correct?
It's this guy,
wasn't it?
Nope.
Oh, well, shit.
That's the twist I wanted.
Oh, well.
Wait, are you right? I don't even fucking remember who i
well i could be wrong i'm sure i'm sorry yeah well shit
fuck i'm sorry you know me in these shows i'm the worst person to play this game
dude speaking of new shows my wife and i have been watching like she's she likes harry potter
a lot and fuck yeah i had in my head that i had because my youngest brother was likes harry potter a lot and i had in my head that i had because my
youngest brother was into harry potter as it was coming out and everything and so i was in the room
as a lot of the movies were playing and i had in my head like yeah i probably by osmosis even
though i wasn't paying attention kind of absorbed most of it not at all like i didn't know a huge
amount about the harry potter universe i've the first six now, and I think there's two more.
And it's great.
It's a really good series.
I'm enjoying it.
I like Neville a lot.
He's a cool character.
Neville, aside from the core three, Neville and Hagrid,
definitely tier one characters.
I like both of them a lot lot and they do a good job.
I just last night watched the one with the
woman in the pink
outfit.
Like being shitty
to everyone. She's the worst character.
Yeah.
She plays
it perfectly.
The book version is awful.
The book version is so awful.
Of her?
Oh, you hate her so much.
Well, I mean, she tortures the kids with writing,
and then you have pen marks on your fingers and stuff.
But as far as the same way that Joffrey and Ramsay,
you got to respect how well they played that character.
This character, she played the
unlikable bitch to a t and i really liked that about it uh i just got i are the one i most
recently finished is where dumbledore dies at the end which i knew was gonna happen because
it's part of like the everybody's ethos everybody's seen it by now it's yeah i'd never
i'm kidding okay it's it's a really good series i'm enjoying it a lot and it did markedly get
darker after the fourth film yeah so here's what a lot of people don't understand like
jk rowling is fucking brilliant for this all right first of all the first book i want to say they're
i don't know like, like five years old.
So their problems are a five-year-old's problems.
Like I get that we're having to fight an evil wizard, but you do it in like a five-year-old's way.
They're like 11 or something.
Yeah, maybe they are 11 in the first one.
Yeah, that makes a ton more sense.
But they're still like fucking children.
And it's meant to be read almost by an 11 year old at that point and every year it kind of progresses to the point where
the last book, they're like 19
years old, they're fucking
each other and
at any moment we could be
tortured to death terribly and
murdered and so it's kind of meant
for like a 16, 17,
18 year old to be reading. It grows up with
you. Yeah, it grows up with you yeah it grows up with you
i mean no wonder it was such an epic series and so many people are are attracted to it because
it's really good like i have i was talking to my wife as you're watching she's like who do you
think's gonna die and i was like well dumbledore for sure because i know like the meme of dumbledore
dies like when that movie came out everyone was like oh dumbledore dies and so i know that i knew i i guessed and was right
that serious black dies because he would have been the the guy to like bring harry back to normalcy
and so you obviously can't allow that you have to keep him estranged from everyone other than his
friends and then uh snape i'm split on him i think Snape is gonna die in the next
two movies and in like
because he's been so shitty to Harry
but like as more movies are coming like
it's clear he's not actually a bad guy
and I
imagine he's gonna be like
sacrificing himself for
Harry in the end but I don't know
I don't know so I'm
excited tomorrow night my wife and
i are planning to watch the last two because book seven there's like two book seven movies
and we're gonna watch both of those because that's all we have left oh yeah i cry at the
end of the first one uh at the end of the first of the of those part one yeah part one of book
of book seven at the end of that i cry well don't spoil it because I'm actually interested in seeing what happens.
I know that Harry doesn't die because he's the main character.
And I know that Ron and Hermione aren't going to die because they're main characters.
Or at least I don't think they will.
You'll be surprised, man.
By the end, not a lot of people left do they go game of thrones style and like people
are dropping left and right i hope neville doesn't die don't give game of thrones that credit those
people have plot armor i mean you'll get to a point where it's just like and and you get a death
and you get a death and like every little group and family kind of like i i didn't like well not
that i didn't like because i knew the uh what is his
name the guy from cedric diggory that's his name when he gets a vat of cadavered by that that that
little mousy rat guy yeah like i liked how they did it because that's the way it would have went
down it would have just been voldemort going to kill that guy just unceremonial just dead yeah so i liked that uh and then they're taking my surprise
he just goes i'm not gonna happen and it's like boom he's dead and you're like oh wait yeah wait
this isn't one of those we can't take that one back he's just dead like like like that guy's
kind of been like i didn't like that because i i liked him as a character and i'm like great guy and harry are gonna be good friend oh no they're not gonna be good friends and then
i felt bad for uh crumb the oh yeah the russian guy where it's like you know he he's not he's
not a bad guy they're treating him like a bad guy he just likes to play sports yeah and so i'm enjoying it a lot so far it's a good series
20 years late on watching harry potter i watched all uh is there eight yeah eight of the movies
yeah uh i've watched all eight just i think it was three or four years ago for the first time
so i mean i did the same thing you're doing i was just like it's fucking time you need to do it put them off you know like let's do it now that it's not
like popular i guess i'm because i'm a hipster i don't know it's great like i really like this
i i never it's not that i watched didn't watch it because i didn't want to it was more like i feel
like i got the gist of that series i you know my younger brother he was watching all the time i was
in the room but yeah no i was not paying attention clearly because there's a huge amount i don't know
yeah i i like snape a lot he's great he's my favorite character the way he delivers
the way he delivers lines is hilarious alan rickman alan's a very good actor yeah yeah he
was uh i mean he's great going all the way back to die hard you know he's the villain in die hard hilarious. Alan Rickman. Alan Rickman's a very good actor. Yeah. Yeah. He was, uh,
I mean,
he's great going all the way back to die hard.
You know,
he's the villain in die hard.
Yeah.
He's the one like that.
They always do that.
Like behind the scenes where they're like,
they told him they would drop him on three,
but they dropped him on one to get the genuine reaction.
Like that,
that old name.
He's got the law.
He's got the,
I don't remember if that's the one where his arms look weird or not. I think's robocop he's in robocop no no it's it's a different thing like
they throw a guy out a window in robocop and the special effects go wonky and his arms get like
eight feet long but they just left it in huh i don't remember that yeah yeah it's great
yeah well what else was popular 20 years ago that I should watch now?
20 years ago?
Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
The Wire. Requiem for a Dream.
I couldn't stay into The Wire. That second season took
me out of it so much I haven't gone back.
Fair. It is not the best season.
I did not give a fuck
about that dude and his doc.
I didn't either.
I do not care about that Eastern European fuck and his doc problems.
I don't care.
You can skip season two and be pretty well in the know.
Just roll right into season three.
You could watch that previously on The Wire,
and you're pretty much good if you don't care about the polos.
If you want to skip it, you could probably read a Wikipedia,
like what happens in every episode.
Take you 90 seconds and you're ready.
Yeah, yeah.
I should.
I should get back and watch.
It's great.
How many seasons of The Wire are there?
Like six?
Fewer, I think.
Five.
Might only be five.
Yeah, I think it's five.
Yeah, like it wraps up really nicely in the end too.
I've heard it's a really good series.
I think I might check it out pretty soon.
It's great.
Do the Sopranos verse. Okay, yeah. I need to. I was just going to say, series i think i might uh check it out it's uh it's great i do the sopranos verse okay yeah i
need to i i oh oh so i was gonna say i had this thing where uh once i start something i will
finish it but it's the act of starting it so i need to just start fucking sopranos and the wire
because they're classics and i should watch them think about the wires the first season's the best
one and that's i hate it when
that happens right you like to see it like oh dude it'll hook you in two episodes and i was
gonna say who tops it and tops it i think it's really good but i don't think it's the best
i got spoiled from breaking bads where each season kind of got better and uh better call
sauls the same way it's like each one gets fucking better and better. There was one season where Omar was kind of a bigger part of the show
when he was going around getting revenge.
I think I like that season a lot.
I like that girl who kills people with a nail gun.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I can't think of her name right now, but it's Snoop.
Yeah.
Well, she doesn't kill him with a nail gun, but she seals up bodies with him.
I love that whole conversation he has with the nail gun salesman.
He's like, what you really want is this one here, not that pneumatic stuff.
You want this one? It uses.25 caliber blanks.
And just going through the whole thing. And she just pays him cash.
He's a Home Depot employee so she
gives him like $500 in the hallway
and walks out the door and he's like
what the fuck? This is way too much.
He's like, oh, you earned that tip like a motherfucker.
Kyle, you gotta check out the Squid Game.
I think you'd like it.
I would suggest it after this trip.
Yeah, probably. It sounds like, I think a lot of these guys have watched i think you'd like it i need to watch it i would suggest it after this trip yeah probably it sounds
like uh i think a lot of these guys have watched it and i kind of watch it by myself so i'll check
it out when i get back home um we've been watching a lot of garbage we watched um a good bit of troll
2 it's awful um it's uh is that the one with jennifer anis no that's leprechaun leprechaun
um it's uh is that the one with jennifer anis no that's leprechaun leprechaun troll 2 is fucking really bad really bad there's no trolls in it for one
and it's literally it's literally not even a sequel to troll one like they made troll
it did okay and then they made they had this movie and they were and it was like looking
terrible and they were like let's just it Troll 2 and maybe we'll make
a little money just because people get
bamboozled.
The movie's about goblins, not trolls.
Do you know the Oh My God
meme?
What is it?
Oh my god!
It's just this kid going
they ate him
and now they're going eat me oh my god
that's how he delivers the line yeah that's from that movie a lot of the lines are delivered
just like that just like i don't know why you would think that jenny is it meant to be tongue
in cheek no no it's like uh it's not intention it's not self-aware at all it's whole premise, as far as I could tell, was these goblins were trying to trick these people into eating this green goo that turns them into like half plant, half people hybrids, because that's their favorite food.
It's a vegetarian knock, basically.
Horrible.
Yeah.
And the town is called Nilbog.
Nilbog, which is it's called nilbog and it's
goblin backwards okay i like that that's it's so fucking shitty there's what is that like oh go
ahead i was gonna say there's a scene where uh what is it uh there's like corn on the cob oh
yeah between the two like lovers yeah the guy and the girl like making out and so
she takes like a whole ear of corn and puts it between their mouths and like i guess it's it's
so hot what they're doing the corn starts popping and but there's no way to make that a visual
effect do they throw popcorn at them yeah that's hilarious they end up in a room full of popcorn
yeah yeah yeah because they were because they were fucking so hot yeah and they only had one year of porn so it made those bits so like i know you're a huge horror movie
guy what are your go-to's because i'm always looking for maybe a little more obscure go-to's
because i'm always looking for campy bad horror i love it it is my favorite genre of movie you
want campy bad horror can't be bad horror you need
to watch everyone needs to watch right now this is my favorite can't be bad horror movie sleep
away camp oh seen it yeah i've seen it okay um what's another good one here um off the top of
my head it's been a while since i watched we've been watching the freddy's and those are freddy's
are good yeah um let's see here. Maniac
is good. I haven't seen Maniac.
Watch the old one.
The New York Ripper
is good. New York Ripper.
New York Ripper, Maniac.
What's another one here?
Those are actually pretty good though.
I wouldn't call them bad.
I'm down for regular good horror okay there's something endearing to me about campy bad horror films that i really enjoy watching the 80s has a fucking shit ton um
what are some other ones wait sleep sleep away camp that's not the one where uh that's with the dick right the chick has a
dick at the end right yeah it is there we go yeah i have a light switch in my room and it's her
with the knife and the light switch is her penis so you can you you flip it on and off and yeah
yeah that was some college student they paid to wear a mask um and uh he got really really drunk
before he did it, they said.
Yep.
Why would you get drunk before?
Because he was embarrassed because he was about to be in like a feature film with his dick out.
Yeah.
Because he got a mask on.
Yeah, but still.
Still, yeah.
Fair enough.
You know, you want to look your best.
So you want to get bloated and drunk.
Yeah, exactly.
I wouldn't volunteer for that spot.
My big fat fucking belly hanging out.
That'd be so embarrassing.
I don't know what they pay him.
Probably fucking nothing.
It was an 80s horror movie.
Case of beer.
Case of beer and a honey bun.
Yeah.
Not much to it.
I can't think of anything else.
Is Maniac from 2012? It's a recent movie?
The 2012 one is
the Elijah Wood remake.
It's not bad, but watch the old one.
I love Elijah Wood.
I know we've talked about it before,
but I would recommend The Void.
The Void is good.
The Void is this Lovecraftian horror thing
with practical effects instead of CGI for the most part. The Void is good The Void is like this Lovecraftian horror thing with real special
like practical effects instead of CGI
for the most part
A little bit of body horror mixed in
with the Lovecraftian stuff, it's cool
House of the Devil is really cool
It's a newer
horror movie, it's like 2009
I think it was made, but it was made to be
and look like it was made in the 80s
Ty West I think made it
that's a good one oh we watched that shit on netflix what is it the um there's there's like
a three-part movie series that's horror where it's like different time periods oh uh that's that new
thing um i know what you're talking about i watched it too it was good the first episode is like in
like 1994 or something so we watched that one um i haven't followed up but it was okay it's very gory yeah it's very good yeah it was actually a
good one it was almost like stranger things uh hackle hackle lantern is one if you want can't
be bad good 80s horror hackle lantern that is that is a really fucking good one i'm gonna watch that
one again actually i'll spell it out for you hackle lantern hackle lantern that is a really fucking good one. I'm going to watch that one again. Actually, I'll spell it out for you.
Hacko lantern,
hacko lantern.
That one's a fucking great one.
I'll check all these out.
I,
this is my favorite genre of movie.
Just love it.
Yeah.
I'll stop my head.
I've watched so many that I don't remember the names of most of them.
The beyond is good.
What do you just, you don't enjoy the campy bad horror
at all right it's it's like um you know like do i like rap music kind of i i like the best five
percent of the songs and not the others um do i like horror movies same thing you know like if i throw a dart at a horror movie i
probably don't like it but i like some okay i like there's a really horrible one called shrooms
i've seen that i watched that shit the first time i got high off of uh that weed bad idea i was
convinced the i heard like a car door slam, like a,
like,
I don't know,
half a mile away.
And I was watching it with my,
my girlfriend at the time and her friend.
And I heard that car door slam and I, I just shut off the fucking TV,
shut off the lights.
I'm like,
it's the fucking cops get in the,
get in the room and shut the fuck up.
And I'm like,
I just turn off all the lights in the house.
I was convinced a hundred percent convinced.
All because of shrooms, that horrible movie where they're like in the woods i was convinced 100 convinced um all because of shrooms that horrible movie
where they're like in the woods doing drugs and it goes poorly it's bad yeah it's not very good
not very good not very good what is you on netflix is that horror or something else
it's a really good show i'm watching it with my girlfriend right now um we so do you have you seen dexter
yes yeah yeah it is like dexter but the guy is not really self-aware of what he's doing and it's
more romance based like he's a very essentially he's a very dangerous stalker simp
that sets up these relationships,
and there's death and stuff along the way.
Okay, so he's like a relatable character.
Yeah, it's...
We all know one of him.
Yeah.
It's better than Dexter, I think.
That's high praise.
Dexter was really good for a while.
Dexter's about to come back for a season.
It is, yeah.
Dexter in the last seasons was absolute dog shit.
It didn't make any sense.
I just wish he'd gotten it over with and fucked Deb before she died.
Seriously.
Yeah, if he killed that annoying face sister, that would have been great.
God, that last season of Dexter was rough, yeah.
It wasn't the ending so much as the last season specifically was fucking bad.
It had been getting bad like like
i don't know he every year he found a new fucking sidekick to be weird with
yeah dude it's like in harry potter like i i didn't know like the plot line but every single
season there's a new teacher of the dark arts it's like dexter there's a new scene like it is a huge
spit in the because i didn't know until the most recent one that Severus Snape wanted to be the dark arts guy.
And they kept hiring other people
instead of just moving...
It wouldn't even be a promotion.
It seems like it'd be a lateral move.
Transfer, yeah.
It's a lateral move.
From the dark arts.
And it's like they keep fucking him.
And I didn't know if that was because
he's not very good at dark arts,
but then I watched more and it's like no this guy knows
his dark arts he was
you know a little too well
where I am now is it's not
a hundred percent confirmed whether he's
working for
Voldemort because he's
trying to steal information from
Voldemort or if he's working for them like as
a double cross against Dumbledore
I assume it's it he's
trying to give information back
to the good guys but I don't know have you come
to the realization that Dumbledore
could easily kick Gandalf's
ass oh no
it's totally
it's totally different forms of
magic no no
not even completely different
forms of magic it's too different
oh at the nerve what what what happened after nerd oh the nerd
i thought you're saying the nerve of me completely i mean what happened after gandalf died oh he
came back 10 times more powerful what happened after after Dumbledore died? They gave him a
gay-ass ceremony in the
dining hall. You haven't gotten to that part yet.
You don't know what happens. Yes, I do.
I saw them do the fucking parade,
and they're like, oh, poor,
poor Dumbledore. No, no, he
doesn't, you know, just keep watching.
He might come back. No, he's coming
back in the same way that, like, Luke
came back.
He's not casting magic. He's not doing any of that and so yeah gandalf would absolutely gandalf would be the sea lion and dumbledore
gandalf would go oh you've killed me again'm even stronger. Because my mission in life is to rape you.
So the lords of the Valar will bring me back.
What magic does Gandalf have?
He enchants moths and makes small firecrackers.
Yeah, he fights underground demons.
That's swordsmanship, and I'm not impressed.
Yeah, I do.
I'm literally asking,
what magic does Gandalf have?
Well, the thing about Lord of the
Rings is that they don't use
magic as an out
the way Harry Potter does. I was watching
Harry Potter and...
They would if they could.
If your magic wasn't garbage.
If only I was better
written.
I would use my magic now
No, you're saying it but oppositely
Like
They didn't need magic
They didn't need magic to get out of
things in Lord of the Rings because the dude was so
autistic for his world building whereas with
Harry Potter, it's like oh unlock us doris it's like oh okay and then what would i just about this point that
the magic is so much better no it's they're more reliant on they have time travel in harry potter
they would just go back and try again those are regulated. But apparently that trick stops working
after the fourth movie.
You can't use time.
Time travel is so powerful.
It's hard to write for it.
They do explain why they can't use it.
Oh, the Ministry of Magic.
Might it illegal?
They broke all of them.
They broke all the time.
All of them.
There was one box of them.
It's always been established that there's a huge amount of hiding places
in this world, so I don't believe it.
But the thing I was making fun of, even to my wife
when we were watching last night, they were walking around
and they're like, this is the room
of necessity.
It shows up when the writer hasn't
decided how people
are going to get better at casting spells.
And it's like... No. First of all, it's the room casting spells. And it's like, no.
First of all, it's the Room of Requirement, and it's very well written.
Oh, it's very well written, is it?
No, this certainly isn't something used by authors
when they can't figure out where to go next.
The Room of Requirement.
Are you fucking high?
It becomes, yes, yes.
Probably.
The Room of Requirement. So just a cure-all pan. Yes, yes. Probably the room of requirement.
So just a cure all panacea room where anything that needs to happen can become a bathroom.
If you need to go, that's not bad writing.
Really?
You know, she was like twenty nine single living at her dad's house.
It's pretty damn good.
It is good, but don't you fucking tell me the room of requirement is not a loophole
to to write i haven't heard you say anything that proves that gandalf is more powerful gandalf is
taller oh if only they were a spell to make you know i used to get them confused back in the day
i would call one the other and i people thought I was just doing it to be a dick, but
they look similar.
Gandalf would abuse
Dumbledore until
he was dead.
What? That Gandalf
doesn't need to use spells as often?
You sound like Trump right now.
I mean, part of it...
Lots of people talking about this.
It just seems to me that like.
I'm nearly enough recognizing Gandalf.
I'm not saying he should, but he could rape him.
I just think Dumbledore is stronger.
I just think Dumbledore would be stronger.
Dumbledore can't wield the sword.
Well, first of all, sure he can.
He's got that Phoenix who will come and like airdrop it to him throughout through a magic hat if you that phoenix would probably do like really dope against like
dozens of giant eagles that are bigger than it right they come back to life so they're i mean
automatically better at winning they have infinite lives so i i think i think they're kind of kind of
do you think do you think the eagles attacking dumbledore would be very patient to allow the
phoenix to rebirth and then come back to fight. What are you?
Have you not thought this through?
I like that you have to solve your Lord of the Rings
issues with eagles.
Why do the eagles have to be part of attacking
Dumbledore? Well, we're talking about everything
he has in his recruitment, right?
I just think that in Harry Potter
you actually have combative wizard magic
as a trained skill
whereas in Lord of the Rings,
it's just...
They're just like, oh, I don't know.
The amount of fucking magic they use in Harry Potter,
they may as well be those people
from WALL-E, where they're just
wheeling around obese
foodus enterus.
That's my point. The magic is way better.
No, it's just they need
to use it more because they're lazy.
They have actual combative magic.
I like the way Kyle phrased it. They have
a spell for every occasion. You
said that yourself. And then you
got Gandalf over there. If he's got a lock
to pick, he breaks his fucking sword out or something.
He doesn't have any magic.
He has no magic
and I won't discuss it further.
You guys want to call it a show?
I think Harry Potter
could probably beat Gandalf if we're being fair.
Don't you fucking trigger me.
In the first movie
he could.
I could just put pedophilus
on him and he'll go to jail.
That would be the funniest thing for harry potter to be like pedophilus and then it's like oh no now the media is coming for him because he's a
pedophile wait wouldn't he have to rape harry first is that not now where are you going with
the accusation is no no the accusation is enough yeah and then everyone thinks he's a pedophile that's a useful spell
not fucking doris unlockus or whatever the fuck they say i'm guardio levioso i'm close i mean and
also like the harry potter spell names like she got pretty lazy with those yeah she she she's been
sticking to her latin for a while and then she just was like,
fucking one guardian leviosa.
Let's go.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Boom.
You know,
we'll see.
Maybe I'll change my mind as I finished the last two movies.
I won't come to the realization.
They're not even close in power.
There's a lot less,
uh,
uh,
fucking what's it called when they fly around in the
brooms and they play soccer quidditch wizardry yeah there's a lot less quidditch by the end
which is welcome i like quidditch i like that i like it when it's just a stupid i like it and
i like it in the books because you can like make a book as long as you want and it doesn't seem to
like have timing issues but like in the movies i was like maybe maybe less quidditch i don't know i thought it
was cool just because it was cool to see i guess you could die like technically you would just have
everybody go for the the seeker ball or whatever it's called yeah it seems like that's all that
ever matters like nobody's winning by points because it was like 10 points a goal or like
200 points a quidditch ball or something.
Every single time I've watched a Quidditch in the movies, the points, it's like whose line is it anyway?
The points do not matter.
You just wait until the seeker gets the seeker ball.
And that's how you win.
Mm-hmm.
Which seems to make it a shitty sport.
Yeah, probably so.
Just like soccer and basketball.
You're not going to convince me otherwise there.
I think we're all done there.
You need to get back to your friends in the other room.
Get high.
I don't know what I'm going to do.
All right.
P.K.A.
Oh, wait, wait.
Blame Truth.
Anything you want to pimp?
No.
I'll put some more on my YouTube.
Just search my name.
I'll put some more horror movies in chat for taylor i appreciate
it i'll check those out i love check out our sponsors pka 564