Painkiller Already - PKA 583 W/Drift0r - Redemption of Wings, Woody’s New Bike, Woody ASMR
Episode Date: February 19, 2022...
Transcript
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pka 583 with our guest drifter taylor this episode of pka brought to you by blue chew
feels cbd and of course lock and load you can find all those links below code pka for 20 off
the lock and load product and all the other uh gorilla mind stuff drifter thank you so much for
rejoining us so i was over at your channel today getting the kind of feel for what's up with you
and everyone who
watched the previous episodes, which I'm sure as most people know that you were going through some
serious like endocrine system hormone problems, and you seem to be out of the woods. Is that
correct? I hope so. I'm definitely a lot better than where I was. I have no more answers than I
had then, despite a disgusting amount of medical tests, including a very expensive full genetic
breakdown. The doctors wanted to see if I was an intersexed individual. So that was really fun. then despite a disgusting amount of medical tests including a very expensive full genetic breakdown
the doctors wanted to see if i was an intersexed individual so that was really fun no no i was actually perfectly normal did you get it like it's a prize it's like a prize yeah no um it's been
wild it's spread to my hands and arms and they've more recently come back the issue these days is
not the overall quality but some unpredictability They're just bad days here and there. And nobody knows what's going on. I've done every reasonable
sane thing anybody recommended, and it went pretty much nowhere. So I've moved away from all of that.
And I'm just decided I'm going to live with whatever's happening or it's going to kill me,
but I can't waste all of my free time hunting down medical mysteries because that's just doing testosterone.
You did that for a bit, right?
I did not.
I tried almost everything else because the purpose behind it was to do things to my endocrine system to see how it would respond.
So if it responded interestingly, we've learned something.
And I did.
I have no I've lost track of how many different things they made me do.
And we got nothing interesting whatsoever. well that sucks so you're feeling good now
is it like a physical feeling good or is it like a mental like i'm not dealing with this shit
anymore i'm just gonna ignore it a little bit of both a little bit of both i mean obviously when
you're not feeling like shit all the time it's easier to be normal have normal thoughts do normal
things yeah well that's good i mean it seems like you're in a much much better place two times ago when
you were on you're like yeah i wake up in cold sweats and i can't eat and my and my tits hurt
and my oh yeah it was all sorts of crazy crazy stuff uh the big one was that whatever happened
uh made my hands kind of paralyzy for a little bit but they're back to relatively normal now
so hopefully uh maybe within a week or two, I can go back to playing games, first person shooters,
though I don't think I can necessarily go back to being the man I was. And I think a lot of you
are very familiar with this. When you step away from the YouTube space for a long period of time,
you can't just come back and refill your old shoes. Somebody else has already filled them.
The audience has moved on. People see you differently and may not even just generally have a desire to so i'm gonna have to transition from a nerdy
analytical cod stat guy to a broader gaming youtuber or perhaps even a much weirder youtuber
we're doing a lot of marijuana content on the channel which has been fun so your hands were
so paralyzed you couldn't like do x? I had difficulty wiping my ass.
I couldn't eat dinner unless I had a baby fork.
I couldn't even use chopsticks.
Thankfully, he's hairless.
Well, lots of people can't use chopsticks.
Yeah, chopsticks thing, I got that too.
It's been weird, but that's kind of a dead horse
I no longer desire to beat into the ground.
I'm just trying to live with whatever in the world is going on
and move on with my life.
Yeah.
Well, good.
I'm glad to hear it, man.
And how's the shadow people?
Have you been, how are they?
The true question.
Very little.
I think I saw one shadow person very briefly a couple of months ago.
So my office, the door is kind of right over here, just off camera.
And I was just sitting here doing my thing. And I saw a door is kind of right over here, just off camera. And I was just
sitting here doing my thing. And I saw a humanoid kind of shadow walk by. I looked at it and I looked
down at the dog and the dog didn't look. And I was like, well, that's probably not real. And I
kind of went back to my editing. That's not too bad. No, it's not. It's not. Let's hope that dog
hasn't gotten used to the intruder living in your home. No, I've always had to rely on pets for a
little, a little gauge of reality if you hear
a weird noise or see a weird thing. Is the dog interested in it? If the dog's not interested,
it's probably all up here. You've got a whole canary in the coal mine thing going on for your
hallucinations. Yeah, pretty much, pretty much. Those are extremely infrequent as an adult. As
a kid and a teenager, not so much. As an adult, very managed. Yeah, mine are very infrequent.
I had none.
And then, you know, we're hoping it stays that way.
But you never know.
Dude, this is just the other night.
Like, I had just watched.
I watch a lot of, like, campy, shitty horror movies late at night.
I enjoy them.
I really, I like them.
But, like, you still, like, if there's a ghoulish face or something, it might stick out to you.
And, like, I don't really get spooked too much.
It just holds my attention.
And I was going to bed and like,
I was looking at, you know,
those like side, like taller windows
that are to the side of your door.
Yeah.
Kind of see through.
I was walking down my hall and I looked
and I saw like an angle off of it
that looked like the same ghoulish face
of that, of that got like monster from the movie
and i was like i like didn't respond but i felt my heart rate go like and then i like looked a
little closer and it was like oh that's a that's the light oh tricks and then i went to bed i can't
imagine spending the rest of the night with what you did where you're like it's probably not a
demon probably it's almost certainly not a demon so this i like i think this is a thing that men do and women don't do when they see something
scary at night because i've always do the same thing and i don't know why when i see something
that i don't know what it is and like the dark i freeze and i stare i don't want to let whatever
it is know that i'm afraid yes and but what it really is is i'm i'm computing in my mind i'm
like my mind is like taking that smudgy figure I see
and like you know like fucking
moving around
trying to figure out like like
coat rack coat rack yep it's a hoodie on a
it's a hoodie on a chair hoodie on a chair okay
on a chair with a demon mask next to it that's not
my mask oh no
you gotta figure that out right like real quick
but I've noticed when my girlfriend would see
something scary it's always
and run like I think it's always, and run.
I think it's the difference between fight or flight.
Not that I'm down to do combat with a demon.
I want to run too, but it's just not my first inclination.
I'm always just like, you know how a dog will do that instinctive pointer thing
where they all stick their tails out?
I think there's something like that with us too.
I think maybe so.
I hate these things.
Hunting instinct,
investigation,
evolutionarily just built in at defaults to most men.
Also a desire to know what the fuck is going on.
Cause if something is actually wrong,
it would be best to know what is actually wrong instead of,
ah,
I'll just go to bed and not think about it.
I saw this,
I saw this really cool thing on YouTube and they were,
um,
what they did was they, they, uh, they take these blurred images of animals and they show them to people.
And at first, it's so blurred, it's just a jumble of nonsense.
And eventually, it's a clear picture of what's being shown.
And on frame three, people can identify the snake.
Because our ancestors, the primates that we evolved from, the simians,
were so keyed in to evolving the ability to pick out snakes in their environment.
They were such a problem.
And they said that the eyesight in Asian and African simians was especially acute
because those were the ones that did evolve alongside snakes,
whereas the primates from, I can't remember the other region that they pointed out,
but those guys didn't have any snakes. Oh, it was
those little fucking cute-ass monkeys
in New Zealand or somewhere like
that. They're like, these guys can't see for shit
because they don't need to.
But on
frame... Oh, is it the lemurs
of Madagascar? Something like that.
But they show the viewer, like in the video, they've got these
frames, and it's like, dude,
I didn't know that was a bird until frame 8.
On frame 3, I'm like,
you can see the coil
and that threatening pose.
I wonder if Sam beat a human.
Then they did these brain scans.
Fire pilots, bombers.
I'm going to hit you, Shane.
Then they had like
oh for three
too too high iq yeah yeah that that's definitely true like i would imagine spiders did they do a
spider part of that test kyle no Because snakes and spiders are two things that like,
you could easily step on an accident
back when like we were in ancient times,
prior to ancient,
like we're cavemen with barely any communication.
Monkeys in the trees.
Yeah, monkeys in the trees.
They scream about snakes.
They scream about birds of prey too,
because they're, you know,
they're smaller like macaques or whatever.
Macaque, is that what those are?
Those little tiny African macaque monkeys? But that what those are those little tiny african
macaque monkeys but yeah they can get like scooped up by birds and so they have like different
phrases and sounds whether they're like hey snake or like bird like they make different
shirts based on that which is really cool i forget monkeys are dangerous too monkeys will
fuck your world up in certain parts of the world. Oh, with rocks and steel stuff and jump you.
Uh,
so my wife's father grew up on an Island and he had to walk the trail where
there were monkeys every day.
And he would usually walk around the outskirts of the Island to avoid the
monkey trail,
depending on the time of day,
or he would have a little bullshit.
So,
yeah,
but there's like 50 of them.
And I,
I didn't really believe them.
And then I went to go visit the home island,
and lo and behold, there was like 40 motherfucking monkeys just sitting in trees watching me.
Oh, yeah.
This is not a problem.
Well, it's woody because they're sneaky.
Like, you'll be sitting there with chips,
and one will distract you on purpose,
and the other will come to steal chips from you or pocket change.
They learned, I was watching some David Attenborough shit,
that in some resort, the monkeys learned that if you take a phone,
that the person will do anything and give you anything to get that back.
And so they'll see you with a drink or a snack,
and they stop stealing the snack directly.
They run over and grab your iPhone and run away.
And before you know it, you're having to make a peace offering
of all of this food and treats to get your phone back. And then it'll grab the treats, throw your phone down, run away and before you know it you're like having to make a peace offering of all of
this food and like treats to get your phone back and then it'll like grab the treats throw your
phone down no it's like monkeys have discovered taxes yeah there's that other uh that study
where it took the monkeys like they had a vending machine and coins and it was a little society of
male and female ones and the you know you could put your little coin in and you could get some
grapes at the bottom and they figured out the female monkeys almost immediately along with the
male monkeys invented prostitution where all the females were like you can fuck me if you give me
your coin and the men would go over give her the coin they'd fuck and then the women were all just
flush with grapes so they had a set price too i remember reading this study and it was weird
because they had a fixed price for grapes and they had their own little monkey economy and like different
females had different values or different uh if you if it was like late at night or they were they
knew they were hungry they would charge more and squeeze them a bit and it was kind of interesting
i guess we're not that different than them it's's super price gouging. Yeah, I like that a lot.
Those dirty, slutty monkeys.
When Taylor's face lit up like a child,
when you described a scenario where a man had to walk through a monkey path to get to school every morning, he was just like, that could have been me.
Imagine the Taylor who walks through monkey paths to school.
You know what I was picturing?
I was picturing myself in like Steve Irwin shorts, Steve Irwin vest, Steve Irwin hat, like learning along the way.
But really, I'm just like sunburned and tired.
And the monkeys aren't novel anymore.
You're imagining one is like your close confidant monkey.
He gets on your shoulder and like whispers in your ear and then goes and talks to the others.
He bridges the gap.
I imagine I want them working for me bringing one day other people's
iphones one day some like bullies like roughing you up outside school or maybe or maybe a more
likely scenario like a dozen smaller children who you'd been bullying have banded together
um and but your monkey pals see this going down and they come to your aid but they go a little
too far because they're monkeys and they scratch the rich mayor's son's face,
just a little superficial thing.
But now he wants to put your monkey asleep.
They bite everyone.
They bite all the kids and give them HIV.
Sounds like a Netflix original.
Okay, well, I was making a little fun,
little three-episode show out of this that we could sell.
No, one episode.
But the HIV.
If the kids have HIV,
then we need to put these monkeys down immediately.
I didn't know these were...
Local man accused of training a band of HIV-positive apes to do his bidding.
We suggest avoiding the man as he and his compatriots are remarkably dangerous and infectious.
This shows me throwing monkeys at journalists.
As soon as the news breaks out, all bug chasers just like flood to you guys
and they're like yeah send your monkeys all over me i want to get all the aids in a huge backfire
he's canceled the monkey project there's a bunch of yeah we talked about that bug chasing shit like
years ago there are some just i'm not gonna get into it because i read some stuff from some forums
about bug chasing if you look around online you can find forums from like 2006, 2007.
Everyone there's posting is clearly dead by now.
I was about to say, how many users are still active?
It's like it's people just making post after post, like whole accounts.
And you know how you go on a forum about woodworking.
It'll be like Sammy Woodworker posts 8,000 joined 2002.
Sammy Woodworker posts, 8,000 joined 2002.
This shit would be like 35,000 posts joined 99.
And all of them are like, got my 976th guy paused up today. Just got an IRC chat from him that he was positive.
These guys are infecting people.
I thought bug chasers wanted to be infected. These guys are two sides of the same coin. So you know positive guys are infecting people but i thought bug chasers
wanted to be infected these guys are two sides of the same coin so you have to have an infector
yeah an infectee yeah there were people on there who were like please i want aids so bad and there
were other people who were like hey i'm just handing out aids here and so what you know
any of you guys familiar with continuum magazine it should be a crime. It should be a crime.
You guys will like this.
In the early 90s, there was a magazine called Continuum, and it was sort of like an LGBT news magazine.
And this was like in the height of the AIDS crisis.
Nobody knew what was going on. And they just sort of like denied that HIV existed and ran a whole bunch of sort of pseudoscience articles.
And the whole people behind it were real believers.
and ran a whole bunch of sort of pseudoscience articles.
And the whole people behind it were real believers.
The magazine shut down in February 2001 when all of the editors died of HIV.
That's, I mean, poetic, you know?
Yeah, kind of like our leopards ate my face.
I mean, was there like eight guys in the writer room?
And like six months later, there's eight guys in the writer room, and like six months later there's two guys,
and they're like, I don't know,
they all did seem pretty agey.
Oh, and it was just like a thinning out. It just lessened less every day, you know.
Yeah.
I got a cold and I was crippled for three weeks
because my immune system's dead.
Zach pointed out that knowingly and intentionally
transmitting aids is definitely
a crime i knew that but i was even saying that like maybe like intentionally getting it and then
being a strain on like your insurance provider or the health care system in general or whatever
you know should seems criminal to me it's like i don don't know. If I'm hurting myself,
it seems like insurance fraud, right?
I get it.
Should you be allowed to give someone AIDS
if they consent?
That's like the German cannibal.
The guy that consented to being eaten.
He consented to being eaten
and also ate part of himself.
I was okay with that.
I'm okay with that.
I was okay with that. Because okay with that i was okay with that
but but but because i don't have to well let's it was in germany so it wouldn't matter anyway
i'm not responsible anyway but but you know like we're not having to foot the bill for this burial
i would assume because that's the aftermath of this but if someone is like because then then
the next step to that is like well uh people who are skydiving playing collision sports i don't
know we're overweight i was gonna say you're getting dangerously draw the line anywhere like the
people should we treat anti-vaxxers at the hospital it sounded kind of like that we should
treat them differently yeah everybody should get treated at the hospital jesus christ oh
should not treat people differently it's called triage it's a it's like a cornerstone of that's
if there's like a disaster tour like you have to choose who lives and who dies.
Like a pandemic?
Yeah, like there were hospitals that literally went to triage mode,
and doctors did have to decide who gets treatment and not.
But broadly, there's a movement of people, clowns, I believe,
that want to deny health care to people that don't vaccinate.
And I'm more of a believer in that everybody gets equal access as long as they can.
In a disaster, that gets more complicated.
How about this, though?
How about this, though?
Why should their insurance provider have to cover their hospital stay if this person is refusing to get vaccinated?
It's like easily preventable.
It's it's it's not people.
Tons of vaccinated people get COVID.
Sure.
But but it's not the hospitals.
You could do some easy math, right?
The hospital stays a lot less expensive for those that were vaccinated versus unvaccinated.
What's the burden like obese people?
Is it about the same as the unvaccinated?
You're preaching to the choir.
I'm glad you agree with me.
We should get them lumped into this, too.
I'm saying you don't want to draw any lines.
The people who want to skydive, if they shatter their legs, they need to be okay.
Skydivers are okay.
No, you're wrong about that.
I was saying they should take care of them.
How are they going to risk their life again if their legs are shattered?
Put those things back together.
Shattered legs is the last thing.
You're worried about skydiving.
You turn into a pancake if it goes wrong.
Yeah, if it goes wrong and you end up with shattered legs,
that was a really good wrong trip for skydiving.
All right.
Maybe you're right.
Maybe you're wrong.
I don't know.
I just don't like it. I don't like it one bit.
I feel like
if you're unvaccinated,
I don't know.
Maybe you just go to a different line,
Taylor. Separate but
equal. You're okay with that, right?
You're always saying that.
Separate but equal.
One thing about Taylor is that he approves
of separate but equal.
But now it applies to you.
Now suddenly Taylor's involved.
Imagine if that was
one of my hardcore
over the years beliefs.
Separate but equal.
All of a sudden
he's separated from the equal.
I'm teasing. We should treat everybody the same because uh when we start drawing lines uh uh first of all who
draws the lines right we're gonna get together and start figuring out who draws the lines fuck
all those people no lines get drawn everybody gets treated the same all jokes aside speaking
of all jokes aside i have gotten to the bottom of the wings redemption
nonsense that's been going on long last okay all right i had to talk to so many people to get to
the bottom of this nonsense and and like when you when you hear like what's actually happened here
you're going to like shake your head like what the fuck like who's the good guy and who's the
bad guy and the answer is there probably aren't any real good guys here, except for
us right here. Always.
Clearly, the PKA crew.
I do want to apologize
to whoever...
I just refer to you guys as internet guys,
but I guess it's like Wing Tings and that
crowd over there. Sean Ranklin. You guys did
not edit
that video
in a way for it to be misleading.
That guy is a liar. I trusted
that that gentleman, Wings' friend, who was
sitting, you know, I need to start at the beginning.
You know, I need to start at the beginning.
Wings is being accused of doing something sexual
to his sister by a
longtime family friend.
Someone Wings has known in real life is
accusing Wings of this, saying that
through hearsay, mind you, he's saying that he heard this, that, and the other, that Wings did known in real life, he's accusing Wings of this, through hearsay, mind you.
He's saying that he heard this, that, and the other, that Wings did something to his sister.
And that's why all these other little things fell into place.
And so it's like brought up this huge thing.
And so Wings is like, bullshit, bro.
Come to my house, sit next to me in a fucking chair and answer for what you said about me on the Internet to these people.
And so the guy does so, sits there next to Wings in a chair and and answer for what you said about me on the internet to these people. The guy does so, sits there next
to Wings in a chair, and denies it
all. I didn't say that.
No. They took what I said about
someone else. They edited into here.
They clipped and copy-pasted.
I
couldn't imagine a scenario in which this
guy is sitting next to Wings
lying to his face about things that are easily
disproved.
I couldn't imagine that to be a thing.
That somebody would lie to wings?
No, that someone would lie about something so easily disproved right next to wings to his face because five minutes later, the people are like, actually, here's the four-hour interview,
all unedited, and here's you.
You know how pulling something out of context works, right?
In a bombastic moment, you could be saying something ridiculous and you like plug that into another sentence and all of a sudden you look like hitler or something like that
these are full sentences where he's mentioning people by name and like mentioning dates and
stuff he's like this person's mom said this to my mom about this person and it's name name name first names of all these people
you know there's no this guy is
he went his wings long
time real life friend really a friend
of wings brother they grew up together
elementary school and shit what
it really seems like is wings used to like
bully this guy as a kid or something
like that or maybe when they worked at dominoes together
because they work together as like teenagers
at a dominoes for like a good period of time these guys know each other so they were
friends this guy for a while okay yes and this grown-ass man approached like you know the
investigators from the internet is like like spamming their inboxes on on um discord with
these paragraphs of like hey i'm this guy i know this about wings and that about wings and i know
i grew up with him and
and I know his brother and I know what a fucking loser like he's and and like finally he says
something like and I know something no one knows about his sister and it's that moment where they
stop ignoring him and guy desperate for attention willing to say the guy who's desperate for
attention and like trying to hurt wings I guess for some reason says this and and and and so that
gets their attention right
they're like all right wait what the fuck and so for four hours they sit and have a recorded
conversation with this guy where they told him it was being recorded mind you don't let him
fucking slip out of that one either um here's the grand here's the here's the thing that nobody
wants to say because whenever like this guy this i don't know his real fucking name and i don't want
to the guy who grew up with wings um whenever he's like talks about what wings supposedly did
he's like oh yeah they said he did some and he gets quiet like he's oh it's too dirty to say
right you know oh oh i'm here to talk about child molestation but it's oh it's too dirty for me to
say the things wings did lying and it's like lead with the fucking story bro what the fuck did he do
what the fuck did he do he said something what did he say did he say that he did something what did he fucking
say that he did right this guy's such a important clarification fact this guy was giving specific
dates and internet detectives did a little quick search and the dates that he was giving would
also make some of the people underage so they're basically accusing wings of being a pedo yeah yeah yeah here's what
happened wings at one point being the uncouth motherfucker he is said to his sister hey you've
got some feminine odor that you need to take care of that hurt her feelings she told mom
the mom was like hey you can't say that he like, we're all living here together and it smells.
All right?
Boys, that is it.
That is it.
That's what he did.
Wings said somebody's pussy stank and everybody's too embarrassed to fucking say it.
So everyone's minds run rampant.
Like, oh, my God.
Can you imagine the positions and the contraptions they must use?
God, can you imagine the positions and the contraptions they must use?
The whole thing was him saying, like, hey, your vagina is kind of rough right now.
We would love that summer fresh.
Get some midnight summer's eve, whatever the fuck that brand is.
It's like a young girl's on her period, and she doesn't quite have feminine hygiene.
Or look, I don't have a vagina myself.
Maybe sometimes there's just nothing you can do about that, bad boy.
I don't know.
Maybe sometimes they just are unruly.
Yeah, being a guy with rocks.
Maybe it's just like a case of swamp ass you can't get away from.
I just don't know.
That's what I imagine.
Basically, Wings was defending the hygiene of his home.
That's unbelievable in and of itself.
So how bad do you have to smell before Wings says you smell?
Now, look.
Now, Kyle will tell you.
Wings, I've never met him, but apparently he smells very nice.
Really?
No, that's something that Wings put forward. That's the thing that I stick to.
No, no, that's a Woody thing.
I went on this, I forget what it's called alky david flew us out to beverly
hills oh uh millionaire bash thing yeah something oh dude i skipped that one i heard that one was
weird as fuck yeah you heard right but um i was around wings for a weekend plus the man smells
good don't let anyone tell you wing smells bad the guy's got it on lockdown or at least he did that weekend you know things come in uh streaks i guess you know there was this one time when like
every time i would walk past the kitchen i would throw my coke can like not even trying right in
right fucking in odds had to be one in a hundred that i did like all day long i was hitting it
that's how wing smelling nice for you is he
just hit it all weekend long somehow somehow he did not perspire or maybe like maybe only
using blade was sneaking up behind him with some axe i don't know like but in fairness when you
were around him kyle you were it was the boot camp he's gonna be sweat if i was doing kind of
fps boot camp and it's me i'm gonna smell like dog shit I'm going to be pushing tires over and running around in the yard.
You know,
when you force me into a corner like this,
I have to give anecdotal evidence and just tell you that he smelled so bad
that we wouldn't go out with him.
And we forced him to bathe one time.
And,
and,
and I,
I was like hinting at it.
Like,
yeah,
I'm going to take a shower.
And then I'll take a shower.
Yeah. Hey, I'm going to hop. I'm about, I'm going to hop in the shower in like 10. at it like yeah i'm gonna take a shower and then let's all take a shower yeah hey i'm gonna hop
i'm about i'm gonna hop in the shower in like 10 or do you want to get in now before me i don't
want to use a bottle of hot water you know you do one of those things to politely nudge like like
but but at the core of that what i just said is like we're all taking baths before we go out
um what order would you like your bath to be it wasn't would you like a bath sir it's like when
you're selling a car what color do you want your car?
Not, do you want a car?
He's like, no.
And you're like, oh, I insist.
You have to feel the water pressure.
Insist didn't cut it because he said, no, I'm good, brah.
And so I said, you stinky motherfucker,
take a shower or I won't go.
And so that got it done.
You had to be direct like that.
And I know now that
Wings appreciates that kind of
directness. When you come right at someone and say, hey, you
smell bad, fix it. Okay?
Some people need that. Some people
really just need to be straight up told you can't dance
around it. But look, to Wings,
Wings' weird fucking real life
friend who's like way too
obsessed with his life. Dude, what's your deal, bro?
And to the guys on the internet who again
I apologize you didn't miss
quote this guy he was just a maniac
so this guy surprised
I did a four hour conversation
yeah he basically would
lead up to an intense story
and then just imply something happened
and then he doubled down
said that everyone was lying and the clip
channels took it out of context and that Wings was only
viewing the clip channels and now it's come out that
he did say all this shit and imply it
and the clip channels were literally just taking his
lies and making compilations of it.
Yeah, pretty much. That pretty much
cuts it. And look, if I'm wrong about anything
still, I'd love to get to the bottom of it, but
I watched all the videos.
I watched an hour of the three-part
series and then I watched two more videos. I watched some hour of the three-part series, and then I watched two more videos.
I watched some old clips of Blade that were really good.
You mentioned that.
What were these clips of?
Man, I miss old Blade.
Blade's been having such a rough time of it
that I had forgotten what a chill, smart guy he is deep down,
and that he doesn't really do that much anymore because
he drinks a lot but but like i don't know i was watching him talk about wings um just completely
throw him under the bus one time you know there was an instance where they were doing their podcast
or whatever together and wings just didn't show up one week because blade was going to be the guest
he just wanted to avoid blade so he just pretended like he was he was sleepy that week and so um
blade had this bit
of like stupid internet drama where somebody like photoshopped one of his tweets to make it seem
like he had said something about hanging a certain group of people you know how that goes but it's
like a it's like a goofy bad photoshop that like and blade's saying this he's like giving like a
whole monologue he's he's like i no one thought that was real no No one did. No one messaged me.
No one tweeted me.
No one even chuckled about it because it was such a bad fake wings.
And then it cuts to the clip of wings doing it.
He's like, I can't believe y'all replaced me last week with that racist motherfucker.
And then there and then all of wings like co-hosts are like defending blade.
They're like blade had a black man with him when he was on.
His roommate, I think, may be black.
I don't think he's racist, man.
And Wings is like, you know how he is when he's confident.
Pull it up.
Pull it up.
Pull it up.
Yeah, look at that right there.
What if Wings made it?
You said it was badly Photoshopped, right?
No, not that bad.
And it's in Comic Sans, not centered under the username.
It's just not even close. Okay, like okay but but it was just this terrible and wings was so quick to like like like with with a little
bit of nonsense evidence to like throw um only use me blade under the bus we should never have
him on our show again we should never talk to people like that again and it's like that juxtaposed
with his current the situation is one of those million things
that makes it so hard to be on his side time and time again where like when the shoe was literally
on the other foot he was so quick to judge from like nonsense evidence and like try to like and
throw somebody's reputation under the bus as being a racist only to be played is a lot of things but
he is not a racist it seems like most of his friends are black.
Kyle, you sent me that video earlier today,
the compilation of everything, the Wings compilation.
You're right.
Wings will sometimes lash out with no evidence.
Not that I've never done that.
I've done that many times.
Usually, I'm trying to joke, make a meme or something.
Basically, you sent me that video and i like my gut reaction to all like like the people calling wings a pedophile
shit is fucked up like that's so not true it's it's really messed up to put that onto somebody
and say that and when there's no evidence that he did that or is planning to do something like that
but like so i always have that instinct of like come on lay up on wings take it easy like stop
fucking with like his head is his share and then i opened this video kyle sends me the first like five clips
are like fuck murka murka can go fuck himself all murka did all murka durka did will show up
and then steal all the money from the show that i made that's all murka durka did and it's like
five clips back to back of like he's shooting it's's like, what's that? Fuck Merkaderka.
Merkaderka can kiss my ass.
He stole my money.
And I'm watching that like, you know, Wings, I'm kind of one of the guys in your corner,
but you're really, I didn't even steal your spot on the show, you fucking retard.
I took a different guy's spot.
It was Lefty, right?
Didn't you replace Lefty?
It was Lefty.
It's been, I've been a host seven years.
2014, I started being a host
on this show and he still thinks I took his place.
Come on.
It was two presidents ago.
What?
Hold on. What if Wings
is like that kid that never, is always
bullied in school and then he gets to be
hall monitor for one day
and just uses this tiny bit of power to
just shit on everybody because wings gets trolled constantly he's been trolled for years it's
honestly not even funny like it's kind of sad i feel like just leave the guy alone like he's
suffered enough but then finally a break light at the end of the tunnel wing sees the ability to
talk shit and troll somebody else and just jumps on it instantly and unloads every ounce of repressed emotions and trolling into whatever evidence or not just going to lash out at somebody.
That's my theory.
Let me let me read you an only blade paraphrased quote.
I wrote it down today that I OK.
Oh, cogent.
that I think is so cogent.
When you're so fat, you can't get on an airplane and simultaneously
such a small man
you can't get into a Skype conversation to
apologize. Wings of Redemption.
Ooh.
When you're so fat, you can't
get on an airplane and simultaneously
such a small man you can't get into a
Skype conversation to apologize.
Was this following when...
It has to be an old quote because it's
about skype yeah i mean it's gonna be like one pre-2017 kind of yeah and be a small man for not
hopping on aim it's uh and hashing this out no it's a uh it's so small i can't get on jabber
you're not hopping on your landline dialing up the wheel and hashing it through.
I don't miss that at all.
We're not having your carrier bridging, right?
That was in reference, though, to like, you know, the previous instance they'd had where he threw Blade under the bus.
And it was like, dude, you know, you always hear that phrase, you owe me an apology.
Rarely do you mean it.
I feel Blade is literally owed that you he is like
it's like hey you owe me an apology like to this day i guarantee wings has never been like hey
you know i was wrong in that moment eight years ago fuck what was i thinking i'm so sorry that's
what i would say like jesus christ you like threw him under the bus like that for no reason um anyway
um if i'm
still missing some pieces to the puzzle i'd love to know but boys like like and i'm talking like
all you investigators or whoever out there like am i wrong it because it seems to me that like
everybody always tiptoed around like what he'd actually done it was always like somebody said
he said a thing about somebody and somebody thought that was bad so we all did this and it
was it was never like oh he'd do every night it would be this that and the other that's i never heard anything
like that i just heard the one thing he said a thing that people didn't like his mom didn't like
the thing that he had said to his mom or to his sister or something like that and when it finally
boiled down seems to me the only thing that's even borderline here would between wings his sister and like drama is him complaining
about a smell and i know everybody's eyes got weird about that but like it's not even that
weird like and if it's your like i don't i don't i don't have a sister and so i but i have brothers
and and i know it's not the same but like if one of my brothers like after hockey or something
smelled like shit and he wouldn't shower i'd be like dude come on you smell really bad like
he wasn't saying it in any other way than that i would imagine can i just
jump in and say look we're not going to be able to like put ourselves into a position where we can
make this make sense for us yeah we would never do this no we would never do this so like like
it doesn't even make sense to try to run the the scenario the issue what you've got to always keep
in mind here is you're dealing with a very odd man. And, and like,
I don't,
I,
I,
I'm trying not to like,
say something really cruel here about wings on the internet.
Like, like,
like something actually like mean here,
but like,
maybe he's not picking up on everything that you guys are laying down all the
time.
Um,
I talked to somebody today about this and they were like,
Oh,
I bet wings
is loving this he's raking in the money and the views and i'm like you have such a loose grasp
on wings or maybe just reality that i'm getting a little mad at you finance like how do you think
money works wings is so afraid right now because people are calling him the worst thing in the
world that he's trying as desperately as he can to clear his name but he's too much of a dumb dumb to be like what tell me what i said tell them what i said to her tell
them tell them what the big bad is what did i do you said her pussy smelled i sure did eight years
ago i told my roommate slash sister that she had bo is that why we're here? Yeah. Alright, anything else?
Anything else before you
try to ruin my life another step further,
you roach?
That's what he should have done. See, that's all that it would
take to handle. I'm curious with you guys.
So, like, if I
don't have a sister, if I had a sister
and I'm living with my sister and my mom
and I'm worried about a pussy
smell, in no world do I, like, knock, knock, sis. and I'm living with my sister and my mom and I'm worried about a pussy smell.
In no world do I like knock, knock, sis.
Like I go, I like go.
You go to the arbiter of pussy.
Yeah, I go to my mom and I would be like,
hey, this is so uncomfortable. But, you know, Stacy,
I think there's some smell coming from her.
Can you have a talk with her?
I don't, don't tell her I told you.
I don't want her to be embarrassed.
Like that's the way a normal adult would handle
that, right? Is that the way you guys
would? I think I would have talked
directly. She smelled fun to me.
No!
Woody's gamer tag enters the argument.
No!
Gaslight Woody. Or no,
we gaslight Wings into thinking his sister's
pussy was never smelly.
I did meet her and she
didn't smell there was no there was no noticeable odor when i met her um right and it could be an
older brother bullying his younger sister the home did smell strongly of some sort of lysol product
though so they cleaned up they had guests coming you know yeah his his mom smoked all the time
right it's like you know you know in the movies you know the movies where they just barely get the crime scene cleaned up in time and
you get the investigators get there they smell bleach and that's just as damning as a smell
i think that's what happened we got there and we smelled cleaning products they had been hiding
that stink from us bleach that poor girl or woman i don't know how old she you know the original um
like original like douching products were made by lysol it's like lysol douche and like like google the old product
photos it's really funny stuff it's almost didn't do bad things to the inside of your vagina because
they would use pretty strong terrible for your pussy it it really fucks up the ph levels if you
do it too frequently um but but it's it's because you're supposed to be using it when the ph levels
are out of whack already like that's the kind of the idea so to use it to just uh i don't know
freshen things up on a saturday afternoon it's overkill like it's funny those those products
that used to do for do so much more stuff like there's the old stuff like the opium tablets oh
yeah yeah yeah this is one of them it does does everything. Feminine hygiene facts.
And I think that back in the day,
Listerine was like also a feminine hygiene.
Listerine, they used to say, was for everything.
They're like cauterize, sterilize wounds,
fix your mouth, fix your pussy, fix your ass,
clean your hands, scrub your floor.
You know, Dr. Lister's ultimate ointment.
And like, that's what it was.
It was just like, get drunk in the street because it's prohibition time.
Or like whatever else you could do with Listerine.
I remember like when I was maybe seven, eight years old, we would have chores every weekend. And like my mom would be like, all right, Taylor, you're on bathroom duty.
You're on kitchen duty,
like scrubbing the floor and stuff.
And one time I unknowingly mixed bleach and vinegar.
Not knowing, you know, that makes chlorine gas.
Bleach and ammonia.
Bleach and, is that it?
Bleach and ammonia?
Whatever makes...
I've made my share of gases. Okay, well, it was bleach and ammonia whatever makes i've made my share of gases okay well it was bleach
and ammonia then i've used it for rats before i remember like i mean i'm a little kid and i like
start wiping the countertop and i'm like i feel sick and i just just left the room and i i nothing
ever came of it it's because i didn't make a big pot of it i was just like a kid so i was like
multiples cleaning agents.
I'll be done twice as fast.
Yeah, that's just spraying them onto the wall.
Thank God it was a tiny like spritz amount of it.
But that still makes enough to like get you coughing and feel sick.
I guess that's chlorine gas.
Yeah, I think so.
Have you ever seen the video, the black and white video of World War One when they would unleash a big wave of it?
They would do it on a day where, I don't know, air pressure
and the wind direction was conducive to
this, but they would basically just have
giant vats of it poured
together on the battlefield, and because
of the weather conditions, it would create this low-lying
fog because the chlorine gas is so heavy.
It gets low to the ground
in this thick little fog, and it
flows. It starts creeping
toward the enemy lines, and there's nothing to do against
it except for pissing a rag and throw it on your face or use that gas mask.
You were issued eight months ago,
right?
Like it sounds terrifying.
Imagine seeing the death fog just rolling in and you know,
that's a slow,
painful death.
It's a,
you might not even be able to outrun it if you just totally abandoned your
station,
all your mucus membranes go into overdrive, and the ones
in your lungs especially, so you begin drowning on
your own fluids, essentially,
while your eyes, nose,
throat, everything are just foaming.
They should make it so you can be safe on top
of the trenches, right? All you need is a little sandbag
so that you can
get above the trench.
Right? Am I crazy?
I'm like, they didn't have those.
That's where the guns are.'s where the boats but no but the guns could all you need is a small hill above the hole like if there's
just a hole then you get out of the hole you die if there's a hole next to a small wall then you
can be i feel like everybody everybody's in the trench and they're like smoke's coming in
head for the hill and the germans are like they're all running for the hill as planned no i'm just picturing a like a sandbag wall a couple feet away from the trench that you
can be on the ledge i think the issue is that you've got like a trench that's like miles and
miles wide that has to be manned all the time because they're you know you've been budding
forces you know somewhere in france with the a year. I think I'm not explaining myself.
When you make a trench, you have excess
dirt. They put that in sandbags
and they pile them up. And now you can
exist outside the trench behind the sandbags.
No. I don't think that's
as safe. No.
I don't know. I would
say if the trenches didn't work, they wouldn't have done them because they
didn't seem like fun.
But I feel like they were figuring out
more fair game.
You also would have lived in the trench.
I need an artist rendering.
I'm not opposed to the idea.
I just need a drawing.
Well, you're in luck.
I draw on a first grade level.
I want one of those
4chan level MS paint drawings
of how you imagine the hill
the trenches do all that
I don't think I could even do that
no because the worse it is the funnier
because if you think that you
let me ask you this Woody do you think that if you could
go back to
World War 1 in a time machine and you
give them this tip do you think
that you could save lives
I'm processing do you think that you could save lives?
I'm processing it.
I think that it's not that I'm smarter than these soldiers of World War I. Of course not. It's just that I have a glimpse into their future, which
involves chlorine gas. So rather than put the sandbags at the edge
of the wall, push them back. See what we have here?
A wall. Where did all the dirt go that made
that trench zach put put your mouse like you're is it in front of the guy there should be like a
sandbag with holes in it that people are shooting through in front of his face okay might have been
a resource issue if you're building miles of wall if you have miles of wall you can't you can't
double your effort to build sandbags and shit when the hole blocks all the bullets.
Where did the dirt go they used to make the trench?
They removed dirt from the trench.
It looks like Woody ground line on the right side.
See, they put it behind them.
That's a terrible mistake.
Put it in front of them.
No, Woody, they're making a little hill behind them to your specifications.
It's in the wrong spot.
I just don't understand in what scenario. You can shoot through the hole in the sandbags. It's got to be delightful. You're going the wrong spot. I just don't understand in what scenario
you can shoot through the hole in the sandbags. It's gonna be delightful.
You're gonna love my trench idea.
Well, I mean, I'm sure that was done many times.
But let's just say we put some sandbags
with a hole in front of them, in them,
in front of this man. How does that save him
from chlorine gas?
Because he can climb out of the trench and be
behind the sandbags.
No, he would have to, but it's going to flow over
the top and then down into the
trench, so it's going to flow over the
fucking sandbags and over wherever he is
and keep going down in a massive
wave that probably lasts for like an hour.
Wait a minute, can you go back to the part I misunderstood?
I thought it was traveling via the trench.
Like stretching up out here, he's going to
choke on it. Zach, bring the image back up.
Bring the image back up because
we have misinterpreted this image entirely look at what this is showing this is showing the back
shitting no they're showing a scenario which this man can go prone and like be underground and shoot
through a fucking hole right is that not what i'm looking at look at look at how he's he's in
position basically right now look at what c b and a are and a he is in a prone position firing through some oh yeah
wait no no no but look at that that's like look follow the ground line and it shows depending on
where the ground line is with that dotted line the different positions you would take so a is if the
ground line is barely lower than the shooting position b is if it's medium level and then
d down there or c you can see his right leg up, and then D, both feet down in the deepest trench.
You see what I mean?
That ground line?
You can tell by, and like, see the M there?
Yeah.
The fuck is that?
That is for, it's like passing treats, snacks, trinkets.
Oh, okay.
Mustaches.
Oh, they got, no, no, no,
it's like one of those sushi conveyor belt
things they got a string yeah and it's just grenades and it's like oh i think i win what
the hell it is m4 i think it's baffled i think it's for like passing stuff between the two sides
so am i the only one when you pass them like looking at stuff like this like i feel like i
don't look at l and g there's some kind of a fucking crawl space underneath there's a bunch of stuff uh so you know war isn't like they knew what people
were doing they built these things sequentially they would build something the other side would
come up with something like chlorine gas that would uh destroy the trenches usefulness and
then they would build their trenches differently to survive the chlorine gas or do gas i think
they're just storage areas, Kyle.
Well, L was a retaining wall
to keep it together, I think.
Thank you.
Oh, color!
Well, we're in color now.
So, Woody, please show me how we
defend against that.
They're kind of doing it here. Do you see the sandbags?
All he needs to do is lay down behind the sandbags.
You still die there! Where the fuck do you think the sandbags? All he needs to do is lay down behind the sandbags. You still die there!
Where the fuck do you think the chlorine gas flows over?
Drifter.
Sorry. I need a chance to talk to you.
My theory was that the
gas was heavy
and going through the trench to get
to you. It was traveling in the trench. Not that it traveled
over the... So that's
where my mistake comes in.
That makes more sense. It's traveling toward your trench, perpendicular
to it from the enemy. Because it's very heavy.
I thought that
it had seeped into the first heavy
thing it found, and then it was traveling via
trench to all of it. No, it roils along the
ground, and it finds all the hidey
holes and tunnels. It goes down
and it goes up. That's why
each side would use it. But that wasn't even the
most effective way
to use it i'm i'm describing like one instance where that i watched them do this thing where
they just combined it raw and like created the gas and let it flow like that that's the shitty
way to do it eventually they use artillery shells to deliver it and and mortar rounds to deliver it
so they could pinpoint accurately explode the gas right amongst the enemy and and and do it in such
a uh cluster that like instantly a whole line,
like hundreds and thousands of people are getting exposed to this gas and going blind.
You asked Woody, you were like, if you go back in time and you share this info,
do you think you could save lives? I go back in time to World War I. They go,
we're about to send troops. We're about to get moving. I go, guys, don't even waste your time on this one.
Let it happen.
There's going to be another guy in about 13 years.
Save your resources for that guy.
I'm telling you.
Like, no, we have to get over there.
Trust me on this.
Let this happen.
Let World War I play out.
We save up all our resources for World War II.
You know how much we took advantage of the UK, France,ance all those countries us giving them huge amounts of resources for loans they
couldn't possibly pay back that then we made them take like manufacturing contracts in our country
in the 50s like and that helped like our our economy grow in a big way like that we could do
that to an even bigger extent we go nope sorry world war one we're not jumping in we have a hunch
because of this really smart guy with a normal-sized head and normal BMI came
back in time.
And he told us not to waste time
because there's a mustachioed motherfucker
coming up in the next 13 years.
And I would be a hero.
Are you sure that there would be a World War II
if you prevented World War I?
Oh, he's going to be too long.
See, the problem with that is Hitler's fighting in World War I, right?
It's his main...
Everybody jokes about the art thing,
but Hitler was upset about the way World War I ended.
And he felt that Germany was a military power
that at the very least could have sued for a better deal at the end
because Germany got really fucked at the end.
They were just like, whatever you want, take it.
They did one of those when in reality
they had a better bargaining position.
So the Treaty of Versailles?
I don't think so, but I'm not great with that.
I thought Versailles was World War II.
But I'm...
No, it's the pomp...
What's the one from Sopranosanos they make fun of it like he didn't
he couldn't he said it wrong but i'm not gonna it doesn't matter something accords yeah yeah yeah
it's the one where stalin and churchill and uh fdr are all there together he's a fucking
interior designer from dickless lovacchia it's like what you're talking about it's like the palm past calm past fucking can't roll off
my tongue thing hot stem agreement that's it that's it did i get it yeah you got it yeah
no that's what i needed i'm just too late to fucking do it apparently
it's better if i struggle for it i like to tap keys while i think think think
i'm sorry it's a nervous tick i tap keys and i dart my eyes around when i'm
thinking okay do you guys notice that your hands will like type what you're thinking sometimes
if you're just like thinking about stuff your fingers will just type a little yeah no my n key
is worn out i uh the g fell off so long ago it gets worked at least twice as hard as the end just some racist guy always typing it
some some some racist rain man um did you is it okay if i shift to a tv show real quick or do we
have more like important like i mean obviously we've got like the global pandemic as bad as it's ever been. Vladimir Putin's moving 7,000 more troops to the border
with Ukraine. Dude, the Ukraine
news coverage is making me crazy. Oh, I've been watching.
Here's what happened.
Fast forward, what's happened to Ukraine. We sort of laid it out last week.
Ukraine used to be part of Russia. last week ukraine used to be part of
russia now ukraine kind of wants to be part of nato russia's like no uh i'm your jealous ex-boyfriend
i want you to come back to me and they're like i'm really kind of feeling these nato guys they
look richer than you and uh russia is like well i'm gonna force you to be my girlfriend you can't
leave all right so that that's the ukraine thing in a nutshell biden is like no you can't just invade
other countries if you do that then china's gonna do it and everyone's gonna do it we're gonna have
all this like lack of peace america being the world's police force was a cool thing and everyone
all the americans are like actually we don't really want to die over this why are we protecting
ukraine's borders that that kind of sounds shitty to me so So Russia says, hey, we're pulling all the troops away.
And here's where the news coverage got me angry.
The Republicans were like, you made a big deal over nothing.
They really had no plans of invading Ukraine.
You're lying to us.
And, you know, fuck you for acting like invasion was imminent.
And the left is like, we did it, boys.
We stopped Russia from invading
they're pulling away now so there's a it was never real and a we succeeded for a brief period of time
now it turns out putin was just lying he didn't actually pull any troops away he just said
he pulled troops away and they believe
how would we not know that because like i
thought all the that news came from like satellite shit where they'd be like we're noticing patterns
said it oh yeah said it and it took us a little while to sort of disprove it and we're like hey
wait wait wait wait we're you know we're watching and you put more troops on the border you said
you sent your troops home but what you actually did was deploy more troops
getting ready to invade Ukraine.
Did I?
That's kind of like when you said there was a genocide going on
in this area of Ukraine and terrorists,
but as it turns out, it was mostly Russian spec ops
and mercenaries doing the genocide.
What?
So where we stand right now is it seems like Putin is going to invade Ukraine.
And we'll see if he does.
I'm never going to take a trip to Ukraine.
I don't care.
That's like number 69, 70, 71 on vacation destinations worldwide.
I'm watching Long Way Round right now.
This is the motorcycle TV show.
It's like 10 episodes where they ride their bike
from the uk around like through through europe eastern europe they go through mongolia russia
alaska canada america back to uk can you picture this yeah long way around they are currently in
the ukraine and uh i am learning what what Ukraine was like in 2003 via TV show.
Well, in Ukraine, like when you were like, they're biking through the UK and Ireland and France.
And I'm like, okay, long way around.
And then you're like, and Russia.
And it's like, dude, just biking through Russia would take a lot of time.
They spend a lot of time in Kazakhstan and Mongolia and Russia.
Kazakhstan, where Borat's from?
That's a big country, too.
You can't just make up countries, Taylor.
You just said Kazakhstan.
It's the largest.
It's either Kyrgyzstan or Kazakhstan.
It's based on what he said.
Kazakhstan is the largest landlocked nation in the world.
So you'd spend a lot of time in Kazakhstan.
Kazakhstan, Yeah.
I don't know.
Kazakhstan?
I don't know.
It's the largest.
Another country I wouldn't go on vacation to.
I don't care if they have war.
I don't care.
Another weird stat is the army of Turkey is apparently just fucking gantic for some reason.
Is it?
Turkey has an autocratic thing going on and i know kazakhstan has a really
important spaceport because they're at a good like launch angle or whatever uh what is it the
bike door all those kurdistan tagikstan man i don't know what goes on this corner of the world
uh stan means land of so i know that or stan was very busy happens around here
but i thought mongolia had a lot more greenery that looks pretty desert i always picture like
horse riders in mongolia i guess that's just the northern part i think that might be modern
day mongolia and whereas like uh maybe the mongol empire would have been like that whole
fucking map there mostly maybe i don't definitely this map isn mostly. Maybe. I don't know. Definitely. This map isn't
perfect because I don't know why it
acts like they gain altitude between
every stop.
They are taking the long way around.
But it's a pretty
neat motorcycle trip. You can sort of see
Oh, dude, that's a motorcycle trip?
Yeah. Holy shit. I thought
I didn't know what it was
at first. That's really cool.
Yeah. It's a motorcycle trip and it appears to be a large chunk of it is off
road.
Like,
are you considering this?
This got me inspired to do it.
It's a,
I think it took them a little more than three months and that's more than
I could.
Can I make a suggestion?
Don't do this.
Can I do it?? Don't do this. Can I counterpoint?
Do it.
Like, I mean, you like a bumpy road, okay?
I think that's a good way of, like, describing you.
You like a bumpy road.
I like a bumpy road.
This road looks like it is fraught with peril.
That's what they said about hitchhiking in Mexico.
No, no.
I would hitchhike with you, like, with our assholes showing in Mexico before I took.
All right.
See, let's start with London to Brussels, right?
Fuck yeah, let's go.
By the time we're going to.
I'm going to have three STDs by the time I get to Kiev.
OK, like like new shit.
I'm going to have three.
That's because of your own carelessness.
That's well.
Yeah, probably.
I'm a bug chaser. Well, what's the most dangerous area of this trip? That's what I your own carelessness. That's, well, yeah, probably I'm a bug chaser.
Well, what's the most dangerous area of this trip?
That's what I was getting at.
I think when you make that bump from like...
Chicago, genuinely, yeah.
From like Almighty?
Yeah, it's that layover in Chi-Town.
They don't play.
They do say that.
I guess it's...
I don't know if they have crime stats or what,
but they were saying that camping in America
was actually the most dangerous part of the trip.
I don't know. They say it.
That's some pussy-ass shit, then.
What I'm afraid of, though, is...
I mean, again, this is my ignorant American point of view,
but these are some big, long lines
that I think go through some lesser-developed countries. i'm worried about if you get hurt in some one of these places that they don't have
that magical doctor who puts the perfect screws in your leg and like when you wake up you've got
like some weird fucking soviet implant in your hip these guys brought a doctor and a film crew
okay in the chase truck right so I have that, it's not
quite the same thing.
Can you imagine? We give you top
of line hip.
It's the same hip they give
Lennon.
When you stop for your trip in Chicago
later, you will be much faster,
more fleet of foot, able to
escape potential aggressors.
It is not safe like it is here
in Volgograd.
You're like, alright, I can deal with that, but why did you
replace both hips?
Two for one special.
We make you six million rubble men made of
jelly beans and
rubber bands.
You're mostly made of...
That's like $400,000.
No, that's worse.
It's $78,000.
You're the $78,000 man.
It is not a pacemaker.
It is one of the batteries used to work
those Lego cranes.
Bionicle.
It's a bionicle heart.
So 6 million rubles is
78,000 US dollars.
Six million ruble men.
That is not a very impressive...
He is made of cardboard
and particle board.
I mean... PVC pipe.
I bet my ankle costs... I don't know.
What do you think two broken ankle surgeries cost
in some rehab? I have no idea.
It depends on where. In America? Everything you got. $ ankle surgeries cost in some rehab? I have no idea. Hopefully, I never get to find out. Where? In America?
Everything you got.
$18,000?
Two surgeries?
I went under twice.
I don't know.
I don't think it's as crazy when it's like your foot or something.
I don't know.
My people that I know in the medical field, we talk about this sometimes.
When they got to open you up, it's when it gets wild.
And that aftercare, if there's a lot of after that's that's pretty stupendous as well and then certain scans depending on your your
health care provider can be obnoxiously expensive but um i don't know both of y'all would know more
than this than me i don't yeah i don't remember i the average cost for ankle replacement surgery
is 24 grand all right they replaced the fucker yeah they replaced it right actually think about that
like 24 grand is pretty good for a new ankle it's worth you can't even get a mustang for that
that's true you can't buy a used mustang for that used car prices are up like 40
dude i keep reading about these car prices it's outrageous right now um i guess ford has started
working with their dealers they're doubling the prices of some vehicles because the supply is just that short.
It was actually 80% more, not 100% more.
But it's outrageous.
So close.
Yeah.
I want to do an example.
So a $20,000 car is like 36 grand maybe.
And Ford is threatening to take away people's dealerships for this kind of activity.
You okay, Kyle?
What'd you do?
I went to take a sip of this stupid fucking energy drink.
And it's like, you know when you take a shit and the water splashes just right to hit you in the asshole?
Uh-huh.
If I took this sip and the water splashed right into my fucking pupil.
It's not water, though.
It's this stupid Georgia.
But did it burn energetically
right like like i've had toothpaste in my eyes and i'm like somehow it's a minty burn
it burned like georgia peach bang with creatine and eaas
nice i don't know why my eyeball needs your vision's gonna get better gonna be in great shape
yeah that's uh that's for his eye gains oh speaking of like face game um
um peacemaker uh wrapped up have you seen oh don't spoil it i have to wait i have to wait
a whole week for my wife to come back so we can watch it together face games yeah yeah he's got
there's a face exercise you know there's a scene in peacemaker where like he's crying and having
like a full-on meltdown over his life in general he's hurting himself he's
so mad at himself for being he's like you push everybody away because you're such a piece of
shit on the inside and he's crying out loud and like his friend is like peeping on him through
the window and he jumps up he's like bro were you crying he's like no i was crying i'm doing my
facial exercises to make my face
more muscular and jacked!
I can tell by looking at your little face through that
mask. Yours is all bony and
angular. It's fucking gross.
And the guy's genuinely like,
well, would you teach me those exercises?
Yeah.
There's another part later
in this series where he's crying
and his fucking autistic partner is like
i guess if you're gonna have a face that jacked you got to do it all the time
that show's great man it is great peacemaker's very good i can't recommend it enough um
don cena surprisingly good actor it's mostly comedic but he does uh the dramatic really well
too and i thought he was really good in Suicide Squad. As a spoiler,
when he makes that swap to being evil
really fast, that was a big turnaround.
They did one of those
things. Multiple YouTube channels
do it, but I think GQ is one of them where
they interview
the actor and they show a bunch of... They do it always
as promo, obviously. They got a new thing coming
out, so it's like, hey, here's Danny DeVito's
take on his whole career to promote maybe a new season of it's always sunny or something
like that well they did that with um um what's his name it's fucking the guy we're just talking
about john cena john cena um and it's really interesting to see him like out of character
completely like discussing this stuff because he's like he's talking about the character of john cena and that's really interesting he's like they told me that you know he was gonna be really
into hip-hop stuff so that's what he was they tell me what to do and i just fucking do it you
know he talked about like his first movie the marine and it was like really thoughtful stuff
like he's just like that movie was supposed to go to steve austin two weeks before it was supposed to go to Steve Austin. Two weeks before it was supposed to begin filming, he canceled.
And Vince McMahon said, I need you in Australia tomorrow.
And I said, why?
Because I'm 24 years old and I'm loving being the wrestling champion.
He said, oh, well, you're going to be in a movie called The Marine.
He's like, well, I'm not an actor.
He's like, well, you are now.
Your tickets.
And just fucking shipped him off and had him making a movie in a couple
days. It was really interesting
to hear from and see.
Seems like a really great guy in real life.
I don't know. Just watching that quick
YouTube video, I took away from it that he's thoughtful
and intelligent and
puts a lot more thought into what
I think most people think of as goofball roles
like WWE stuff
than you would
imagine i really liked him the first thing i saw him in was in that amy schumer movie called the uh
the hangover i think something like it wasn't the hangover it was something else it was um
the design train wreck that's what it was thank you zach yeah something like that um and i'm not
a big amy schumer fan by any means but that's a movie. And John Cena is a big part of what makes it funny.
Like his physical humor, like him being kind of goofy and quirky and vulnerable,
while at the same time being like a Hulk of a man, like in his tighty whities.
That juxtaposition is really comical and funny and something that like Arnold was never willing to do.
He didn't want to be the butt of the joke.
He was kind of the joke. If anything... Kindergarten cop and twins.
He was kind of the hero.
He beat up the crowd of people.
He's fish out of water.
That's fish out of water.
That's not butt of joke.
Because whenever there's a confrontation,
there was the one...
What about Jingle All the Way?
He got fucked up in Jingle All the Way
and was like a putz of a dad.
Yeah.
Now, that's an abomination of a film
like like that that's the one where like he's trying to get the sin bad isn't it maybe yeah
yeah sin bad all right well yeah that's him doing a kid's thing that that's just schlock that's not
even bad might be dead i haven't heard it have you guys seen john cena's reality show overweight
i have not seen uh john cena's tv show okay. I watched a little bit of it in the gym.
And it was actually kind of fun because the one episode was his girlfriend was mad at him because he was more famous or whatever.
So she wanted to challenge him to something.
And obviously, like you said, a Hulk of a man, she can't win anything.
So it was like checkers and putt-putt golf.
And no matter what she did, John Cena just crushed her, like dominated her at putt-putt.
And then he's like, you know what? We're going to do go-karts because you're like 300 pounds or something. And no matter what she did, John Cena just crushed her, like dominated her putt putt. And then he's like,
you know what?
We're going to do go-karts
because you're like 300 pounds
or something.
And I'm a little model.
And he like picks out
the fastest cart
so he has a better advantage
and then immediately
like takes her
and like blocks her
and like won't let her
pass the entire way.
And it's like a whole episode
of him kind of being
like a playful dick
to his girlfriend.
And somehow it was
very endearing
instead of as abusive as I am describing it. no it doesn't sound abuse it sounds more like they
were laughing it's not like he was like you stupid cunt you'll never win like she would just pick
things that she would need like dainty hands for or like little challenges into like huge john cena
would like come in oh i can sew too yeah yeah i can sew too it Yeah. Yeah. I can sew too. It's like those Michael Jordan, Mia Hamm commercials.
Endearing is a good way to describe John Cena
because that's what I took from that GQ video
that I watched of him.
And man, I really dig this show.
It's not fucking like, I don't know,
the best acting ever or anything.
Don't come to it for that.
It's not bad by any means, but it's a funny,
dirty, foul mouth, crude, violent. come to it for that uh it's not bad by any means but but it's you know it's it's a funny dirty
like foul mouthed dirty i want to tell him that i was surprised because i think of john cena as a
very g-rated character who wouldn't want to soil his image maybe i'm off on this but i've only ever
seen him be kind of pure and family friendly he is dude he's buck naked fucking women in in this thing that sex scene is so good
like like it it's so over the top that it's not even gratuitous like like like you couldn't jerk
off to it i guess is what i'm saying you can only laugh at it challenge accepted
i'm like the choker i'm later on he fuck laughing I don't want to spoil it
but later on he talks about the sex
and he's like I made her cum four times
I feel like that should be noted
that I made her cum four times
how is that relevant? I guess it's not
I just wanted to slip it in I didn't think you'd notice
he's talking to the girl and he's like
oh that was great I haven't had sex with
a woman in a long time
he's been in jail
and then when he talks about his dick being so big that it hurts people.
No, no.
It's too big.
It hurts people.
They called me chip arm in school.
Isn't John Cena a human or is he super?
No, he's just a regular human being who was trained from childhood by his father,
who was a supervillain himself.
Yeah, the racist supervillain yeah the racist yeah yeah super racist
man are you sure he's meant to have like literally no superpowers because he does some stuff like
durability jumps off a rooftop uh i don't think he is a meta human i think that he is like a batman
type yes figure talk about it in suicide squad where him and deadshot meet and he's like, well, I'm stronger, I'm
faster, I can shoot better than almost anybody
alive and Deadshot's like, well, that's the same
as me. So they're not
genetically different, superpowered,
but they're super well trained. They're
exceptional Olympic athlete level
people. Yeah, exactly. The way
it's always described in lore is
peak human
physical capability.
Whatever that is.
Okay, he bench presses
450, he squats 1,000,
and he can run a mile in four minutes.
He's a bad motherfucker.
Were there rewind flashback clips
of John Cena's dad?
Like the
supremacist. A lot of that.
Or whatever his name is, and and he's like I'll save that
water fountain citizen
and like he just
bullies Blackula
I noticed something troubling on the front of that bus
and just flies away
what you doing here boy
and just like jet packs them
away but just to the back of the bus
it's a very
short flight know your place citizen
and then flies away like no i took it to be that he was like a terrorist essentially uh more than
anything because that's kind of and when you see his costume it's awesome it's one of the cooler
costumes in all of comic books i think the horns and everything he's he's the white dragon character
build-up was intimidating too like they did a really good job yeah robert the former t-1000
terminator now playing a uh a racist super villain actually kind of works yeah um i i liked uh i like
robert patrick as an actor um uh everything he's been in, I've always really appreciated him.
I love that one insult that the Asian police officer throws at him. She calls him
a walking scrotum.
It's like, holy shit.
They wrote that line thinking of Robert Patrick.
There's no way they wrote
that line and then they cast Robert Patrick after.
They were like, what would you call Robert
Patrick? Call him a fucking walking
scrotum. look at this fuck
get out of sun rob you're gonna you know you know what his you're like a vampire who got
who almost got burnt up by the sun is that the guy you're talking about the white dragon
yeah yeah okay like this guy's hair it looks like he always just like grabbed a live wire
like merv from uh from home alone but i'm looking at his outfit. Marv. Marv, yeah. His outfit with the horns.
Okay, this is a very cool looking
outfit.
The horns,
not a good move if you're a good guy
character, though. He's not a good guy
character. No, he's a villain.
No, but he thought he was a good guy.
No, he didn't. He knew what he was.
It's Peacemaker who has this sort of like...
Right, yeah, because Peacemaker thinks he's a hero. He thinks, you know, I'm going to go out and do good in the world and blah, blah, blah. didn't he knew what he was oh okay it's peacemaker who has this sort of like right yeah because
peacemaker thinks he's a hero you know he thinks you know i'm gonna go out and do good in the world
and blah blah but he's hindered because his dad like fucked him up as a kid and he's basically
a fucked up person now this picture the outfit looks terrible he looks glow-in-the-dark it looks
cheap that's under like really bright lights like in his like laboratory that's the most look it's
a show about people who like it's
a show about a lot of nonsense but the fact that robert patrick has some sort of like pocket
dimension and in his in his ruck room is a little far-fetched yeah he's created he's literally
created like some sort of pocket dimension and like i'm just nerdy enough to know that that's
nonsensical um and and then he's he's and he like pushes a cut look it's
it's a good it's a good show it's fun to watch it's popcorn show um there's there's some great
titties there's some amazing gore there is a i i all upset about i'm not gonna spoil anything but
battle at some point is done with an intelligent gorilla.
Okay?
And you're going to want to... That's like one of the coolest things I've seen in a long time.
I fell asleep in that part.
As intelligent as you can imagine.
Like more intelligent than you.
No.
That is a good spelling.
That's a reasonably okay guy.
I thought it was Gorilla Grodd.
But it turned out not to be. That's what a lot of people... People keep asking me that. I'm like, no, Grodd. But it turned out not to be.
That's what a lot of people are like.
People keep asking me that. I'm like, no, no, no. It's not that.
Gorilla Grodd and CW.
It's a great show.
Check it out. HBO Max,
I guess, or wherever you get your HBO.
Or wherever you download your shows
illegally. Wherever you get your shows
illegally. And so we're talking about shows
and stuff. So I was doing a little more research on the lord of the rings upcoming show and kyle i
i don't know if you know this like they didn't buy the rights to unfinished tales or the silmarillion
they only bought rights to Lord of the Rings trilogy
and the Hobbit trilogy.
And so they're not going to have any characters
from the first stage, the Silmarillion, Unfinished Tales.
It's just going to be the Amazon writers
with like two anchor characters like Elrond and Galadriel
and then just inventing a story of made-up characters
to exist around them in the world
it is going to be
terrible they don't even have the rights
to tell the full story the way it's meant to
so it's literally just going to be
they bought a version of the Tolkien world
and now they're going to invent characters
that never existed to interact with characters
that somewhat did exist and then
ones that did like Elrond and Galadriel in ways
that never happened so it's like what are we doing here guys come come on so you need to buy the
rights to the silmarillion if you're going to tell a historical tale through the first or the
second age i'm predicting another boba fett man it's going to be just like the boba fett so i'm
really good i'm really good at judging books by covers and i feel like i dodge a lot of nonsense
i just go to the library and i just look at books and i just i i dodge a lot of nonsense skills like i just go to the library and
i just look at books and i just i just get a good sense of them you know so-called being racist
i wasn't i didn't mean literal fucking books
although although i could probably judge them quite well by their covers no you know kyle does
have a good intuitive ability with tv shows and movies he does this um i i'll tell you this i i watched mandalorian so religiously and i have like
mandalorian like merch like i'm a big fan like i've got like tank tops and like i got a helmet
in the other room like i'm really into it i dig it i got one of those fucking uh what's what's the
little fucking green cocksucker i got one one of them. And I saw Mandalorian
coming a mile away. I didn't watch
a single episode. I haven't seen it. I haven't even
smelled a whiff of the reviews.
I don't need to know because I saw
pictures of the Mandalorian
and I could beat him to death
if you gave him, if you put him in
his Mandalore armor and he kicked
my fucking door in right now.
I'd beat him to death
with whatever, that tripod that that camera
is on right now. I could kill that fucking
actor in his full
armor with, give him that staff or whatever
the fuck that chunky
elderly get there at 4pm
for dinner because it's $7 off.
In some ways, he did kill the mountain.
I don't know why. Old country
coupon bringing bitch. You're thinking the Mandalorian. In some ways, he did kill the mountain. I don't know why. Old country.
You're thinking of the Mandalorian.
I'm not fucking with the Mandalorian.
He's slick with it.
That guy's probably actually.
Pedro Pascal.
No, I'm talking about Boba Fett.
Boba Fett.
The old guy who's doing action and he's clearly bulging out of the armor
and they have a
Finnick Shan. He's like trying to pose
and be cool like standing straight up doing the
single handed pistol shot. It's a real
iconic like pose you
can take. Not for
Boba Fett, for like action, right?
Man standing holding gun.
It's very iconic. There's a few ways to do
it and it looks good from various angles.
He's trying to do one where shoulders are back, chest is forward.
He's like this.
The problem is when he does that, he doesn't present his chest and shoulders back like a big superhero man.
He's got a bulging gut.
He's got a plate of armor that is powerful.
The armor isn't wide enough to cover his love handles.
There's a scene. I saw this. Powerful. The armor isn't wide enough to cover his love handles. Nor should it be.
There's a scene.
I saw this.
Someone linked me a gif.
Or a jif, if you prefer.
Where he's getting accosted.
Him and his Asian assassin friend.
Who was cool.
I'd rather watch her show.
I bet she's cool in his show.
Because I liked her in The Mandalorian.
The Asian assassin lady.
She's in a lot of stuff.
She's also in the Street Fighterorian the asian assassin lady yeah they're like getting a lot of stuff uh she's also in uh the street fighter movie she's um oh who's the legs uh chun li in that one okay
okay are you gonna draw this back to lord of the rings or are you just making a mandalorian
comparison oh we're shifting gears no like i'm just talking about like i can i can smell a rat
coming i can smell a rat coming and and and i'm not gonna watch a single episode of lord of the
rings unless it's of those things where everybody
is freaking out.
It's like taking over pop culture
and everybody is saying quotes from it.
If that happens, I'm like,
Kyle was wrong again and I'll jump on
board.
The question is, did y'all watch Boba Fett?
No.
Gina Carano is fatter than Boba Fett.
That guy looks like he's 62 years old. That guy is 62 years No. Gina Carano was fatter than Boba Fett. That guy looks like he's 62 years old.
That guy is 62 years old.
And Gina Carano, in the first season, she got fatter.
She was okay, I thought.
Yeah, but it all went to her tits.
Look, I think she's still hot when she's chunky, to be fair.
She's looking pretty fucking good.
You ever seen that video of that big, white, trash, fat woman
who smashed a Coors Light can
with her big heavy tit?
Yeah, yeah.
She could do that.
Gina Carano is literally like a model.
Look, she got too chunky to be an action star.
That's all we're fucking saying around here.
And that old man right there,
I think it's really cool that they cast him
as Boba Fett.
I just wish they'd done it 15 fucking years and 35 fucking pounds ago
when he maybe could have done it.
Because he is not Ewan McGregor, who's still looking pretty fucking good.
This dude looks old.
And look, this is his best shot.
Notice the helmet is covering a lot of his mass.
The helmet is so well positioned.
Look at that big old belt.
Why is that belt three inches thick?
Because it's a girl.
That looks a lot like my belt.
The fucking girdle he's wearing.
You can see it in the show when he has it on and he's stretching.
You can see the bulges under these armor.
You can see the breastplate.
It'll like, instead of just coming down flat, it'll go down and angle out a bit.
That's a titty plate.
That's not a breastplate. That's a titty plate that's not a
breastplate that's a titty plate because that man is overweight and he's too old to play that role
and and if they're gonna like the worst part is even when he's got the helmet on apparently
they're not making him like they're like like throwing a stunt double in there or some shit
like because i saw that thing where like some robots were poking him with some like energy spear
and he was doing some fucking like kung fu shit block him or like grab him you know do that badass shit and it looked
weak you ever see somebody work a heavy bag that can like work a heavy bag yeah or you know anything
boxing related something with your hands something combat related yeah and you're like holy shit that
guy is like an athlete this guy can't do that this guy he doesn't like all the bullets in his
bandolier are different.
Yeah, then, I don't,
none of this makes any sense, but you talk about old people and being too old to do action, you pull
the image back up, guess how old the
actress next to him is? Well, Asian
people don't fucking crack, dude. She's probably
50. 58. 56.
Damn it. She's 58. Oh, no, I was close, I was
close. Still doing her own stunts. Wow.
She's looking great, and that's what she looks
like in real life. This isn't a show with movie magic and you know filters and makeup that's her taylor
taylor hang on no i guarantee this woman looks exactly that age in real life i'm fucking around
all right here's the thing taylor i i i'm i'm very quick to believe that sort of thing out of people
but the problem is she's next to craggle rock there and,
and,
and they've struggled to make fraggle rock.
No,
that's craggle rock.
His aggro crag.
I'm sure that like,
if there's like movie fuckery or Photoshop editing that can be done,
it was done.
And this is the best they could make this man look,
look,
he's not as fucking superhero. Come on. I'm not watching i don't dislike his face like i haven't seen the
show but he does like it like boba fett if he's a bit if he's getting on he's aging a bit like
he does look like a guy that used to be very intense and used to be very fit right like he's
not really maybe it's the bald brow intensity this is the guy this is the guy who
played um the character or look it gets convoluted maybe because they're clones and one of the clones
treated a clone of his ass his son so just fuck all that convoluted nonsense aside this guy was
the character in um the like the trilogy in the early 2000s like Oh, this is the guy that confused me because
they used him as
clone material and
then there's
white, black, Asian
clone troopers in the future.
But it was all gathered from this guy.
Okay, but we're going to recruit people later
because the clones started dying.
After a while, the clones were
degrading in quality
and the source material was...
And I think maybe the clone place got destroyed or something.
There was a whole...
Anyway, they had to start recruiting.
There was also some political stuff going back and forth.
Like one side is like, clones are what we need.
And the other side is like, my special troop doesn't matter.
It's nerdy shit.
But later on, they're recruited.
That's why you got like Black Storm troopers and stuff.
Is there anything in The Mandalorian... i think it's from episode one those like cool robots
they made to kill jedi that i don't think ever succeeded in killing the jedi that have shields
and they roll like a like a sand shrew from pokemon so not like sand shrew stuff but like
and they go with the did you not watch the mandalorian no no i watched up until bill burr was on the scene
and then i stopped well there's that kill bot thing right the one who's like a main character
almost who's got uh benny played by taika yeah yeah i was meaning like that more uh oh that's
more like arachnid looking thing with the curved back almost no no that's some george lucas shit
that needs to stay away that i thought that was cool. But also the last time I saw those movies,
I remember my main takeaway was that General Grievous
was the coolest thing ever.
Yes.
Because I was like 12, 13 when I saw that.
Yeah.
And I was like, I remember watching being like,
man, that's going to be a damn shame if Yoga takes this guy out
because he's a robot.
He's got four lightsabers. They're not even the bullshit like one half ones that seem like they'd be's a robot. He's got four lightsabers. They're not even the
bullshit like one half ones that seem
like they'd be counterintuitive. He's got four
programmed. Like helicopter blades
just going to town. There was no excuse for him
to lose to Yoda. He would buttfuck Yoda.
Unless Yoda used the force,
which General Grievous probably couldn't because you probably
need to be alive to use the force.
No, he was alive. Yeah, he was a cyborg.
He was not a full robot considerably
a human like second most alien the best swordsman i don't know but yoda was i you're as wise as
master yoda and as powerful as master mace windu bad acting trilogy and like who who was mace
windu count dooku that's who it was no that was uh christopher
lee was count dooku and he was my favorite character like as far as just the intimidating
presence of his nature like he was so booming on that box yeah he was so he and he played
saruman to a t he played bad guys for like 65 years so well i bet he did a dracula here and
there yes he was in the old uh hammer
dracula films in the 70 he would play both van helsing and dracula in different films
like real cheap ones i've come to realize that i think obi-wan kenobi is the best character in
all of star wars i think he's got the coolest story um everybody else is a fucking like their
story is either like i don't know it's poorly written or just like i don't
like how for those of us who don't know what is obi what is obi-wan's story obi-wan uh his like
his master's killed at the very beginning right and he and he's it is a responsibility to train
the boy is like thrust upon him like all this responsibility he just has become like a master
whatever now i'm meeting sorry i've pissed my pants and i can't keep training the drink has ruined my jedi skills he also drinks a lot apparently like you see him in
the clone wars and stuff always like drinking alcohol and stuff so so the coolest part about
him right is this like love story that he's got with um that that queen from that other planet
her name escapes me but he's got like this the from that other planet. Her name escapes me. But he's got this...
The Jedi are supposed to be warrior monks.
So he's not supposed to be falling in love with this lady.
I think he could probably fuck her.
I think that would be okay.
But he loves this woman.
And she loves him.
And spoiler, that does not work out
because his greatest enemy kills her in front of him,
the same guy that killed his master.
And he has to watch her die
and her dying words are like i always loved you and he's like i would have given up the
jedi order to be with you and they just cry and she's happening in the movies or no this is clone
wars clone wars and then like you know the whole does happen in the movie oh no this happens in the
in the tv series is canonical so series is canonical, so it happens.
It's real.
It's as real as any of the rest of Star Wars, right? But I'm just
saying his story is the best. And then obviously
losing Anakin, defeating
Anakin,
whisking Luke away to Tatooine,
overwatching him
his entire childhood and
into adulthood, and then guiding
him into the force and then like giving his life for him they coming back as a force goes to
continue to guide him like he's got the best story out of any of them luke story's fucking lame
anakin story is even lamer and you know yoda yoda was around for thousands of years yoda's a
fucking quitter maybe yoda's a fucking quitter is what Yoda is. Go on.
I mean, he lost that one fight with
the Emperor. He's also short.
He lost that one fight with the Emperor and then he retired to that
swamp planet for like 25
fucking years. That is really
embarrassing. Luke did that. Yoda did that.
Probably someone else.
Well, Luke went because he needed some
training, right? Oh yeah, of course.
They all do it. they have to copy and
paste the same story in over and over so of course of course ray had to go to like a planet and train
with luke skywalker fuck all that shit fuck all that made-up dragon shit i am going to watch the
ewan mcgregor thing though fucking fucking obi-wan kenobi show when that comes out it's a mini series
like self it's contained like eight episodes or something dude it's so funny how i can like i can
sit here and like you're talking about star wars and i'm like this is so stupid i can't believe it and meanwhile i'm
like and they're not following the canon of lord of the rings and they didn't buy the rights to
the silver really which means all of our beloved characters from the first age of the second age
are gonna be there no one knows the simmer really in characters tay They do. There are people that read that like the Bible, man.
It is the ramblings of
a madman. I've said it before.
There is no flow.
After I finished the Hobbit series,
I read the Lord of the Rings series first and then the Hobbit series
and I was in middle school because that's when the
movies were coming out. And then I was like,
Simmerillion? This guy wrote more shit?
I wonder what characters we're going to
flesh out. And it is just him being like,
and another thing in the first stage.
Here's something Elendil was up to.
Oh, also, God, I forgot the dwarves at the time.
The dwarves, they found out Mithril,
but not quite modern Mithril,
slightly different Mithril, and this was the mix.
Oh, by the way, the elves also.
Something I can't wait to...
It's like a guy on Coke telling you a business idea,
which if you guys have never been in that position, I'm sure many of you have where like people are doing a lot of
Coke around you and they have an idea for something good. I would rather be trapped in an elevator
with a drunk person for two hours than have a 30 minute conversation with someone gacked out on
Coke because it's like actively stressful. They tell you the same idea six times. They explain it five different ways. None of it makes sense. And it's all just like, and it's like actively stressful they tell you the same idea six times they explain it
five different ways none of it makes sense and it's all just like and it's because i was going
to be like yeah yeah it's going to be like it's like tinder but for like cats it's like
it's like you know all the energy too because they totally believe it in the moment we're
gonna call p for p pussy for pussy you know trying to get it going like it's so down it's a winning it's called nft bro just need a programmer tom cats
tom tom cats that'd be that'd be a pretty good one pretty good one a great name well we're
targeting a user base with no thumbs and no money right taylor i got a question for you if you're
going to be stuck in an innovator and not an innovator elevator do you want to be in there
with the guy
pitching you a regular business idea
or somebody who really believes in NFTs
and that's all they want to talk about?
Definitely the NFT guy.
Unless the original guy is giving me an in.
If he's just describing to me a business
that's totally viable and I have nothing to gain,
it's going to make me like,
God damn it, this guy's way smarter than me.
The NFT guy, I'll either be like, oh oh this guy's bragging about selling nfts he's probably a pretty smart guy
making money or it'll be oh this guy's bragging about buying nfts he's probably a dumbass
but taylor blockchain and there's don't you know they get registered no i don't even know what that
means decentralizing art to warren buffett talk about
bitcoin lately like i listened to it and then youtube is like this guy has a passion for
listening to warren buffett talk so i just start watching another and another like this youtube
videos on warren buffett shit he hates bitcoin he fucking hates it and he does another guy like
charlie mung or something who's like his partner or lover i don't know what the fuck he is he hates bitcoin just as much why do they say
uh basically it doesn't do anything it doesn't have any value it doesn't produce anything like
if you own stocks then you own a piece of a company that's making money that's doing a thing
if you own land then you're owning like i don't know a part of a land that's producing a crop or whatever you own bitcoin
you are literally just you're owning something that doesn't do anything hoping that down the
road someone will pay more than you did for it and it will still not do anything and i get it
it's currency that's what currency does but um that But that's Warren Buffett's argument for it.
And because I also don't know why cryptocurrency has value.
I'm like, me and Warren Buffett, we think the same.
Me and Warren Buffett, two peas in a pod.
Combined, we're billionaires.
two peas in a pod combined we're billionaires you imagine your youtube is all one about the video to wayne like yeah yes yes
you're the 37th richest duo in the world
that like yeah like i don't know anything like i'm in the same boat as you woody i don't really
get the crypto thing enough.
But I see a lot of people putting it forward like,
this is the future of currency.
It's a way to get away from centralized government and power.
But this is even less tangible than fiat cash.
And so it is totally dependent on electrical grid
and on all these servers and things running.
And that confuses me where it's like if everything did go down and it's not going to happen.
But if there was a calamitous collapse of power grid structures, you know, food lines, supply chains, if that happened, it's your like it doesn't it's not really worth it.
Your phone would still turn on.
like it doesn't it's not really worth anything your phone would still turn on well yeah but some people think bitcoin would be more valuable then because if that happens maybe the u.s
government doesn't have any value so what's the next best alternative that's what that makes sense
too i don't know things like mlm it's like i don't know nfts i feel like are the easier one to pick
on owning the rights to a stupid picture but other people can still use the picture but you own
the rights to the stupid picture but but not a copyright just the flex rights you own the ability
to say that you own it i don't know what i am rich app do you remember that one when iphone first
came out you could pay ten thousand dollars and put this little diamond on your phone and it just says, I am rich. Like a red ruby or something. Yeah.
Yeah. I kind of feel like NFTs are like that. And the people that push them really hard are
like those Karens at home that do MLMs and be like, I'm a CEO and entrepreneur of my own business.
And let me tell you all about something. I don't even know what the hell all the MLMs are these
days. And that's just what it's like. let me tell you about decentralization and the future of art and how we're going to change the
world and did i tell you guys about the doordash person who was like advertising for their um
their mlm like on the order was it oh no i want to hear this um um it was avon i think it was
like one of those cosmetics like like multi-level marketing
things so like like i don't know i i ordered some uh hibachi it's like perfect thing to order like
they'll give you so much fucking white rice and uh and like steak for like 12 dollars anyway and
they give you shrimp in the middle as a bonus every time always a bonus shrimp you just gotta
throw away that yum yum sauce and it's delicious meal jerry and uh so like i always wait till they
leave like not only to to avoid like the awkwardly give me my food oh you need to take a picture of
it you want me to sit it down or you want me to hold it you want to take a picture of me holding
it do you my face in it like how does this work so i wait till they fucking leave and uh i go out
there and i pick up my bag of food and it's got a sticker on there and it's like hey like it's got
one of those um qr codes or whatever that you can scan yeah and it's got a sticker on there and it's like hey like it's got one of those um qr codes
or whatever that you can scan yeah and it's got like her alt is like hey i'm diane and this is my
mlm like fucking diane and mary k yeah yeah like i'm fucking ceo and president and fucking queen
bitch over here at this thing where i sell cosmetics uh i just stuck the sticker to your
fucking doordash order so that you can uh be to me. And I'm just like, all right, I'm going to report you now.
To DoorDash.
So I file this whole report.
I'm like, she's advertising her Avon cosmetic business in my order with stickers.
And she had been real persistent at the door.
That was the other thing I left out.
She knocked and yelled,
Door Dasher! Door Dasher!
And my note says,
leave the shit and bounce, basically.
And she's out there trying to get me,
and I'm playing the waiting game now.
I'm just looking out the window laughing at her.
I'm not going out there,
but I am going to wait
until you fuck up your driveway on my curb
or your car on my curb.
So she did that as well.
But it was funny.
The instant message back from DoorDash was like,
hey, this lady was advertising a multi-level marketing scheme
in my order with a scannable picture
and a note that she stuck on it.
And they immediately reply back,
how's $7 sound?
And I'm like, that's good.
That'll work.
How's $7 sound? seven dollars yeah dude if you
like get into the chat function with anyone on like door dash postmates grub and pick any of
those and if you're someone who's used it more than three times in the last month you can be
like hey they dropped off the wrong food it was 62 bucks i can't even eat this because i'm allergic
to whatever you can say whatever you want
and they're like all right well uh go ahead and keep that food on us and here's 62 dollars
yeah they're pretty good about it because well i mean i'm sure if it's your first run they're
not going to be as as understanding but if they see someone like kyle on there they're like
make this right like make this consumer happy amazon for for me. Amazon for sure.
If I get something that I'm not totally satisfied with from Amazon,
I just take it to a Kohl's near my house in the box,
and you just send it right back.
Do you ever get your neighbor's Amazon stuff delivered?
Yeah, because it's such a rush.
The people are pushed so much,
they'll just drive by and chunk it out of the truck or do it super fast,
so sometimes they get a house or two off. off yeah i don't know how they fuck it up
so badly um i think my address is like really close to my neighbors um like the numbers are
just like transposed or something but but he's just like i'm always getting their shit and i
keep it i keep it all i'm keeping those fake eyelashes those are mine now i'm gonna put them
on sometime i'm keeping beautiful for us i got that
ginseng like fucking curcumin like like mick like like going right in the medicine cabinet bro with
all the mlm skinny tea i think yeah is that one a skinny tea yeah that's an instagram thing every
influencer sells skinny tea which will totally i'll flush the toxins out of your body along with
about eight pounds of shit all these toxins are giving me a headache i need i need some tea clear my brain did you see that
pokey main tweet the other day oh about uh this face will earn more money than most of you will
in a lifetime or whatever so people like took that the wrong way i think they took it as her like
flexing on people like like i'm rich and you're poor what she's doing is like she's like no makeup
and look she's an attractive woman obviously everybody's like melting down over how hot she is
online but with no makeup she looks very ordinary i suppose you'd say like like that's that's a
polite way of saying it and uh and she's just like this face um makes more money in a month
than you'll ever see or something like that and i was like i like that i like that because i
guarantee she's she's not like saying this out of the blue not her flexing hang on i guarantee that's
not her saying that out of the blue she didn't just wake up one day and say see this face this
is the face that makes more money you'll ever see bitch she's responding to some hate she got i
guarantee somebody i guarantee somebody said look at this ugly bitch without her makeup.
And she was like, oh, yeah, this is a face that makes more money than you'll ever even see.
She's not saying that to the world. No, no, no, no.
That's how you show you're secure is you take something tweeted by a guy with 19 followers.
And then you make something that gets 20,000 retweets to show how much you don't care.
I've seen you for a ratio.
It doesn't bother me.
I'm not coping in a huge way right like like come on like i don't
know the situation but it is like uh it is a total woody is right that it's a total flex of
like i make more money than you of course it's a flex but it's a flex in response to something not
just there's a difference i'm sure it is i don't know shit about like like like like like if so if
everybody's sitting there like
there's a difference between like literally flexing for no reason and flexing because
somebody thought you were weak like actually i'm not that weak look like like oh okay i was wrong
that's what she's doing they're saying you're ugly and she's like i'm ugly
it's these looks that make more money than you'll ever actually i have lots of money
ah come on i dug it i thought you think it was defending yourself
and i don't look look that's not it's not a good comeback if a dude tweeted that you would be like
dude cope like no no no no it's no no no it's like remember when they were going after vin
diesel for being like chubby between roles like? This is a guy who transforms his body whenever he needs to
to make another $15, $30 million.
And in the meantime, the picture of him being chubby, by the way,
he's on a yacht with beautiful women.
Yeah, that is tight.
They're like, look at, what do they call him?
They came up with a pun for chubby Vin Diesel or whatever.
And they're making fun of him and it's like come on this is the guy whose physique has launched one of the biggest movie franchises in existence with this fast and the furious thing it's not my
my uh thing but every time they make one vin diesel say in response to that he got jacked
again and made another fucking fast and the furious. So he didn't tweet about it?
No, of course he didn't tweet about it.
He was busy being balls deep and all the women on the boat.
He was too busy with his successful life.
Oh, you don't like my Audi?
You should see the woman sucking my dick right now.
Look at how much his forehead wrinkles look like the pie sign.
That's wild.
3.1.
Yeah.
Look at that.
Oh, my God.
It's exact.
It really does.
3.14.
Put the Twilight Zone music as Zach zooms in.
That's really funny.
Man, he has got an Audi.
Belly button's not an any that I'm Audi. No, I don got an Audi. If your belly button's not an innie, then I'm outie.
No, I don't actually know anything about Pokimane,
so I don't know what hate she was responding to.
It's just, as a rule, when I've seen celebrities and popular people,
as a response, like, take a picture of them holding money and stuff,
it's like, well, that's not that impressive of a thing.
I'm kind of with you.
It's kind of weak sauce most of the time. Can I just say, like... I'm kind of with you. It's kind of weak sauce.
Can I just say like... I've got lots of money.
It's like, yeah, everyone knows that.
Can I ask you this, Taylor?
If you knew that she made
an absolutely astounding amount of money,
would that change your mind?
Like if I wasn't talking about 5 million,
I was talking about 50,
would you be like, oh, I had no idea?
Does that matter?
No, not at all.
If anything, if you have 50 million,
you should be like,
people are being angry on Twitter.
That's hilarious. I'm on a yacht right now.
I don't know what she does.
I don't either.
I have no real feelings about her in general.
My only exposure to her is that
she's got a rust skin,
and I see a lot of these fucking
weebs putting her as either if someone
has her skin on their base it's either done ironically or you know this is a lame fuck
it is usually the case because it's pretty i'm just saying maybe i'm missing context
but saying she's just i have a lot of money as a own is not impressive like look yeah there you
go the space make the space makes more money than you'll ever see in your life.
I like that. I like that drop.
I like it.
Didn't she move from Twitch
and she's yet to announce the new platform
which everybody suspects will be either YouTube
or Facebook, which is probably another
multi-million dollar contract for her.
So she's doing good.
And Amaranth, if y'all know her, she bought
an inflatable company and a gas station and Amaranth, if y'all know her, she bought an inflatable company
and a gas station and all this crazy stuff.
Y'all remember the pool girl?
The hot tub stream? Amaranth is not the pool
girl. Amaranth is the multi-millionaire
like...
She's been buying
inflatable pool companies. She's gonna be
the queen of pools.
Inflatable pool companies?
How many people are buying those
apparently her so amaranth is making millions and millions of dollars from her only fans every month
that's why she's on twitch on asmr um and and i was talking to finster that about this the other
day um about like the gargantuan amount of money that amaranth is bringing in and look again like
it's not a corner of the internet that i'm like plugged into the same thing with the pokey main
stuff but i was explaining to somebody like last night or the night before
what asmr was and whenever somebody doesn't know i have to like pull up twitch real quick on my tv
and show them and there she is like you know she's incredibly attractive like she's a beautiful
beautiful woman and she's she's sucking on two ears and god knows how long she'd been sucking
those ears because like i came back three hours later and I was like, you want to see something funny?
And I opened it again.
She's still sucking the mirrors.
You know,
she's working at it.
Like,
like,
like I wonder what does your mouth get sore after three,
four hours.
I mean,
I bet it tastes like,
like latex.
My observation is their mouth gets sore way,
way before then.
Yeah.
It's like,
sometimes just,
I can only get off if,
if my wife whispers at my dick
like your wife is a literal dick whisperer you know hard dick and then she's like
i'm gonna suck this at some point and i'm like oh yeah keep whispering at me oh my
what if you did when you get older and you get kinkier, she starts crinkling saran wrap next to your dick. Oh, no.
It's really great.
Oh, yeah.
Make some sea sounds.
Yeah.
Ooh, give me the fog horn.
Look at about the food stuff.
The weird, like, squishing, like, tomatoes
and tearing lettuce and carrots.
And you're just going to have all this, like,
food all over you.
We have strayed so far from God's light.
Dudes.
So some of the ASMR people are like genuinely doing ASMR.
Like they're trying to create some sort of soundscape to like maybe relax you or help you sleep or whatever their goal is.
But like most of them are just like titty girls that want to get as like sexually provocative as possible.
But it's fun to scan through like from most watched all the way to the right to like you're going to have a single viewer stuff.
It gets weird there. it gets weird there it gets weird there can you do asmr just like a yes probably yeah you can jump
right in there right now like oh so here's what i see i see a lot he is playing a flute it's not
a skin flute but it's a fluke it's like i was gonna say that you see a lot of yeah and another
thing i've noticed that no i i know what the bit is i'm waiting for you i know wait
i know i know it all seriousness
all right what was i saying yeah go ahead well now i don't remember talking about asmrs
and deep throating ears some of them are actually doing like legit asmr like like they've got like
like i don't know like fun things to listen to they're scratching on things or crinkling things
or what have you and then i saw oh then i saw i saw one guy and he's just like leaning back and
forth in his seat making making it squeak.
And I was like, wings missed his fucking calling.
Like, Jesus Christ, if we'd only known.
That guy has three viewers and they are just listening.
Okay, do you guys like ASMR?
I'm just going to say I genuinely never saw the appeal to it and even the really gentle
asmr videos they tend to make me very angry it's just the noise won't stop i find it very grating
i listen to asmr porn while driving by myself and uh you know it keeps you up what yeah there is asmr porn you can search for that on pornhub
okay no i believe that so what is what did you do 10 and 2 or one hand on the wheel
yeah it was 10 and 2 except it was right here except only one hand kind of 10 2 and 6 if you can picture that
so did you just pick the first one that came up yes well i'm driving i can't spend a lot of time
and uh but basically it's a woman telling you how much she would like to be having sex with you
and if you're like sleepy and nothing keeps you up, it does. Jesus.
That's really, that's really sad.
This is a pro tip.
This is a pro tip.
You remember 10 years ago when Wings told us Bing was where it's at?
Look, if you're sleeping while you're driving, this is where it's at.
Does your wife know that you do this?
Not yet.
Does she watch the show? Not until Saturday in this episode. She doesn't in this episode oh yeah she's not on the internet thank god taylor you were talking about that being sad uh when i first got uh my vr
headsets i was testing stuff out on youtube which by the way i'm gonna oh my god is it stuck that's
lovely these little guys 4k vr they're literally sunglasses. They've been super fun.
But I'm just like testing out videos on YouTube.
And I found a VR section where you're supposed to put on glasses
and it's not quite pornographic,
but you just have like a loving wife or a girlfriend.
It's the saddest thing I've ever seen
because the whole section is you come home
and there's a lady like,
hi, honey, how was your day?
I really missed you.
I cooked you dinner.
And you like reach out, honey, how was your day? I really missed you. I cooked you dinner.
And you like reach out, like give you a pat and just generally be supportive for like 15 minutes.
And there's just like a whole section of that.
Tons of views.
So there's tons of guys just there in their VR headsets
being told how great it is that they're back.
Dude, that is so fucking sad.
Like these poor guys are just like,
they want some kind of affirmation or attention
like and they've they're going to vr to get like this the end point of this is not nice
like the end the end point of a huge number of men who are not able to socialize to the extent
that they can get laid them resorting and kind of distancing from reality and joining the VR
movement as this gets more advanced.
Pretty scary. This is a moment in history
where you can rally the people with
your conservative
dog whistles to go back to conservative
ways.
Put the women back in the game. Back to 2019
when the Blues won the Cup.
But no further than just 2019.
2019.
That's what I'm wondering.
It's actually specifically June of 2019.
Wasn't I in prison?
Well, but the Blues were winning the Cup, man.
You win some, you lose some.
We all have sacrifices to make.
I hated June of 2019.
It was scary.
Dude, but think about it.
Like if VR gets wildly realistic,
which it will,
because technology seems like a continuous march,
albeit slowly or quickly through different things.
And there are a bunch of guys
who grow up entirely online
because that's how all socialization happens.
And they feel uncomfortable in real life,
conversing with women,
having conversations,
coming on to them, making a move, whatever it is it is and if they decide instead you know what path of least
resistance i can get a more accurate skinny big-titted vr bitch to suck my dick while i put
this machine on there or fuck like like that is absolutely coming you would imagine right it is uh
so teen sex is at an all-time low right now because of stuff like that.
Not if Kyle has anything to say about it.
God damn right!
If you don't think I was about...
If you don't think he stole the word
about it, then you're just out of your
goddamn glory. That's why we're such good friends.
What about the incel army
out there? What about when they finally get
fed up of not being able to have sex
and they want real girlfriends instead of digital ones?
What happens?
I don't know.
Like, I imagine.
Well, that might for some of them, it would be a good thing, like force them to go out and get a haircut and go to a bar or go to a club or something.
People think that like showers and parties are the only place to meet women, which is like a Hollywood thing.
That's not true at all.
You can join a club.
You can go to the park.
Walk a dog.
Walk.
Get a cute dog and walk it around the park.
You're welcome.
You're welcome.
Find a cute dog that belongs to a hot woman.
Kidnap them both.
You're made in the shade.
Well, wait.
You don't have to kidnap her.
Just the dog.
No.
She's the key part.
No.
If you find a chick that was going to the same park every day, you know, a routine and stuff, if you can nap that
dog, then show up three days later, which is really distraught, you know, with the
dog. I didn't think, oh, you were saying steal the dog to
demonstrate your value. Yes. Okay. Well, that's perfect. I call this
the hero play. Okay. You're coming in. Or a.k.a.
finders keepers. find the dog you keep
her yeah yeah and she needs to pay you back to get the dog or you'll wink wink usually don't have to
pound yeah usually don't have to take it to that place but one way or the other we're going to
pound town like like and you and the dog no you well someone is someone is um it's up to her
listen lady two of the three of us are fucking today and it might it might just be her and the
dog and you have to sit in your sad corner of kookery and watch you never know that this is
taking such a weird fucking turn this was funny when we started and it was just i'm still laughing
you're just getting cuck getting cocked by her dog.
Damn, that cocker spaniel is hung.
Yeah, he kidnaps the dog
and brings her back and she's like, oh my god
you brought him back. She just goes to make it out with the
dog right there. Just right in front of you.
Deep throat in the dog.
Small shifting
gears.
What do you think about people who kiss their dogs
a little too much?
How much is too much?
I'm a pretty big dog kisser.
I'm a dog kisser too.
First of all... What if my mouth is closed, but I'm
hard?
Problematic.
I mean, my mouth is closed, but I'm
not going to disclose where I kiss my dog.
Are you like Winnie the Poo-ing it
during the dog? What if my mouth is open and he's hard because both my then you know what your mouth at this point
exactly taylor uh i i i keep my mouth closed but but like he can like lick you know like on the
bottom of my face lick my forehead or something that's all right that's that's funny dog kisses
but i've seen those people who are like full-on like tongue kissing their dogs like where the dog's tongue is like going all up in their mouth and doing that.
You know how dog's tongue is like go into like peanut butter jars and explore like they're doing that to people's mouths.
And you brought that up because if the dog's tongue goes in your mouth and you're being kind of a weirdo.
On the other hand, if you just slather peanut butter on you, it's the dog who's being a weirdo and not me.
Couldn't agree more. I think you've got
that backwards. He's hungry.
You're disturbed.
I'm just sitting there.
Being excited, I assume.
I mean, it's exciting.
I love my dog.
I love my dog!
I get so
aroused every time my dog comes in the room.
He's such a good boy.
He's such a good boy.
He's trained him so well.
Just a great Dane.
The dog's just gaining huge amounts of weight.
Getting multiple jars
of peanut butter a day.
Oh yeah.
Just a great Dane dick.
I was on this Redditdit thread like a red
santa hanging down they said what's the weirdest thing you've ever seen at a sleepover or done or
something like that i saw that thread okay so a couple of them were like you know i threw up at
a sleepover i did this i got my first period at a sleepover stuff like that and there was one woman
who she was like it was an all-girl sleepover and one
of the girls there was like i know somebody else who can masturbate by hanging from the corner of
a closet i picture like the door sills but i'm not sure the casing and she would do like a pull
up and sort of rub her her mound on the door that was how she masturbated probably fit as shit that's kind
of impressive that was the point so she she said she knows someone else who does it and demonstrated
it and then that the girls telling the story was like then i realized just how fucking jacked she
was i tried it i could barely suspend myself and she's like just doing pull-ups on this door like
look at what my friend does this
then her arms are fucking Arnold Schwarzer arms he's just got like only has delts
that's the only thing that's all damn good for her that's impressive strength yeah I'm kind of
imagining a girl now that looks like Derek I'm picturing Linda Hamilton in that scene in t2 when
they like look into her like room like see what she's up to like yeah this is Sarah Connor and she's in there like
like cranking out those like did you know that's a real scene those real deal man pull-ups where
she's fucking getting up above the bar fucking putting her chest on the goddamn thing and she's
cranking them out on a medical bed she's upended so hardcore she's jack is fucking that movie she is very very fit in
that movie she's a very believable athletic female protagonist because you get people all the time
like there's a scene where this superhero you know doesn't look like she's tough and it's like okay
fair that superhero did clearly wasn't on a weightlifting regimen before she joined the marvel
team but like yeah there's a scene alien she looks great that's a different movie oh yeah you're
thinking about sigourney weaver who also fantastic female protagonist sigourney weaver was also
jacked but not as no and uh well they had vascas in there sigourney weaver had little little tucks
in the corner of her she was sigourney weaver was always like a wisp of a little girl um but but
but she's like a really great actress and she played a badass character. But she was never like that.
She got a little bit jacked in Resurrection,
but that was that thing where they put you through those Hollywood boot camps
to get a 45, 48-year-old actress in shape to be in another movie.
And she had gotten in shape for that.
And that's the best physically she ever looked,
the closest she ever looked to muscular.
Look at her ass in Terminator 1. That's the flattest ass you've ever seen i'm actually kind
of agreeing with so in my mind she was really kind of a badass and i'm thinking about all the
roles she played kind of um in a leather jacket and dressed up where you couldn't see her body
yeah she's a little skinny girl like she was never a badass physically she was always she
always had a gun or a loader it was her bravery and her life and the fact that she was the one who would be like whatever one would just shut
the fuck up and listen just listen and stop panicking like she was that character and and
you know she was the she's in the loader she comes out so get away from her you bitch fucking great
so good she's a badass she's an action hero action star and uh one of my favorites
i think i projected a athlete's physique on her because yeah the role she played that's that's
like that's just her doing a good job at like portraying a badass you know that you think of
her that way you know i i don't think of danny devito as quite as short as he is but i bet if
you saw him we'd all be shocked even though we know he's like 4'10 or something.
Yeah, he is like 4'10.
I feel like all the Hollywood on-camera figures are just two inches smaller than you think they are.
They are.
You've seen Tom Cruise?
Tom Cruise is like 5'6".
For the longest time when I was watching Sonny,
when season one, two, or I guess not one,
but two and three came out when I was in college,
that they would... Danny DeVito would be standing there, and I guess not one, but two and three came out when I was in college that they would like Danny DeVito be standing there and he's so little.
I would see Mac and Dennis.
And in my head, I was always like, damn, Mac and Dennis must be like six, two
or something like tall.
And then like you look them up online or like in like five, ten, five, nine.
Are there Hollywood heights, which subtract a bit from that.
And it's like, damn, what is it with actors and just being smaller people as a whole?
And that's what helps actors like The Rock, who is 6'4", 6'5", whatever it is.
He comes in and he looks like a giant compared to this guy who claims he's 5'10", but he's 5'6".
No, he does those movies with Kevin Hart to play it up.
Kevin Hart, a lot of his bits are how little he is,
so he's not trying to hide how tiny he is.
Of course not.
Whereas Tom Cruise would want to hide how tiny.
Do you think Tom Cruise would ever want to take a photo
standing shoulder to shoulder with The Rock or Liam Hemsworth?
What's his name? Chris Hemsworth? Chris Hemsworth. Liam Hems lee is liam hensworth what's his name
chris himsworth liam himsworth is the other himsworth who my dad knows either way one of
those guys like he would never want to take a photo there because they would look like so disparate
the other thing about actors that surprises me is when you see them outside their roles
they tend to be nerdy effeminate theater geeks and it partly
of course they are right they were all the nerdy effeminate like high school theater guys
who probably got way more sex than you know well everyone yeah i was gonna say about
but uh when you see steve rogers play captain america he's such a badass. I'm watching Ewan McGregor now do his motorcycle trip around the world.
And he is like, I don't know, kissy, snuggly.
He's not a badass action hero like he plays on TV.
He's a theater geek, and it just comes out all the time.
That's why Sean Connery was so cool.
Yes, I smacked her because she was sometimes a woman.
She keeps talking to you and then you
she keeps wanting the last word and you give her it to her but she won't stop there and what are
you supposed to do other than give her a smack and do you barbara walters like do you think
that's appropriate to give a woman a smack if that's the only option left to you that she's
left to you yes of course of course you have to
give her a smack and it's like damn this guy's very cool and the way he phrased it was like
i've always felt to be a sort of a threat in that moment to barbara walters that and oh man imagine
how amazing that would have been if he just back just backhanded Barbara Walters right there in the interview.
It is a it is a it is absolutely a veiled threat that he is delivering to her in that moment in an interview.
He is saying sometimes, you know, you've let a woman say what she wants to say.
You've let her have the last word and that's still not enough.
And then not enough. Yeah. I'll slap a woman in an instance like that, Barbara.
Yeah, he was clearly implying like
sometimes you get in an argument and you allow them the last word and i've given you the last
word and you're continuing that's all he's leaving out is like yeah like he has said everything but
and now i'm giving you the last word i'm gonna beat the shit out of you and have my friend Liam piss all over you.
Barbara Walters is a cunt.
I don't know anything about her.
Is she on The View? Is that right?
I hope she's dead. I can't remember which child star it was.
But he was coming out and talking about how he was molested by Hollywood executives.
Corey Haim?
Yeah, Corey Haim.
He's telling this woman, Barbara Walters,
who's supposed to be
a news media person or a journalist.
She was a journalist and she's 92 now.
He's saying, I'm part of this thing.
And these men molested me for years, these men in power.
And she's like, don't you have any concern for what you could be doing financially to a whole industry?
could be doing financially to a whole industry and it's like i wish men had come in in that moment and drug her out of that room and fucking capital punishmented her like she what she is saying there
is like i don't care that you were raped by men in power don't you understand that me and all these
other people in power are all part of the same money machine and you're throwing your little
rape butthole into
the mix shut the fuck up take the money and shut the fuck up did i mention yeah fuck up and barbara
walters and it's like i'm looking here barbara walters had been involved in show business since
1951 so she one billion percent knew that cory hame was telling the truth about he and all these other child actors in the 80s,
70s, even before and after all being molested. And her response was, don't you realize you're
like threatening like the livelihood of everyone who works in this wonderful industry who just all
you have to do is suck Harvey Weinstein's dick and any producer and you can get work.
I did it. You're not going to do it. Like it was like, like it's easy to forget how much,
cause celebrities do the open secret stuff now where they're like,
well,
we all knew about this.
It was an open secret.
And it's like,
that's really interesting.
Fucking Mark Ruffalo.
So everyone knew about this.
I just picked a random,
a lot of people know anything about him,
but it's like,
so everyone knew about this and no one said anything.
And now that it becomes politically expeditious to point it out. so everyone knew about this and no one said anything and now that it
becomes politically expeditious to point it out now everyone has something to say i it was an
open secret since 2012 that this 11 year old was being raped and now i'm coming for oh you didn't
come forward in 2012 13 14 15 16 17 like now now that you can you won't lose your gig you'll come
forward which is on like it's easy to throw
stones but like if it is an implied threat from a producer or executive producer like hey this job
that you've worked your life for will be stolen from you and you will have to go back to work at
denny's or whatever like that is a true threat and that's scary but it doesn't excuse it yeah
i think she's a terrible person and of course i've seen like tons. I bet if you go to YouTube and search Barbara Walter being a cunt or being
an awful person,
you'll get a montage.
Like,
like just that,
that the interaction she had with Norm Macdonald that time when he's been
trying to be a little jokey and she's been so fucking serious about the
whole thing when he's trying to talk about how the Clintons are murderers.
She's not happy.
I want to hit you guys up with a weird story
because I got invited to one of those parties once.
Ooh, an Eyes Wide Shut party?
Kinda, yeah.
So I was in LA for a COD event
and I caught up with an old friend
and I'm going to scrub as many names from this as possible
for legal reasons.
And this friend works in the film industry.
And we talked about a bunch of stuff.
And he's like, by the way, very famous person that I'm working for is having a boys party this weekend at the mansion.
And, you know, I could introduce you to social media, whatever.
It's usually a bunch of like teenage male models or whatever.
But sometimes they have fun with regular guys or more interesting personalities.
And, you know, if you wanted to get into the industry, you could come to this party and hang out. And I was like,
what the fuck? And I, you know, I asked a little bit. And the thing was that
I was expected to be open to anything. If I didn't want to consent, I shouldn't be there.
But they're like, hey, you're an interesting person. You can come see if you're their flavor,
blah, blah, blah. And I was like, no, no good i'm not gonna do that that's too weird i'm not down
like that and they're like okay but it's an opportunity really so if you blew me you might
have got a new job i mean you could have had that perhaps on the podcast yeah yeah i mean it was to
the point where they were we waited on you till one in the morning.
How do you think Taylor got the job?
I bet those.
Yeah, it's because I blew both.
It was a lot of layovers and flights that day.
It was a ton.
I got to take 12 hours to blow two guys to get a job.
Woody and I were so messed up on the coke by the time Taylor got there
three, four hours later.
I don't know how many flights it was.
They were so gacked out, I could barely get them on.
We couldn't perform.
So Woody gets his shoe in there
and Taylor can't take it.
His shoe in there.
So Kyle starts taking me from the ass
and I'm saying, put a few fingers in, man.
I need a little depth here.
That's what you do. And lo and saying, put a few fingers in, man. I need a little depth here. That's what you do.
You like.
And lo and behold, he puts them in your pee hole.
You get sounded.
Oh, fuck.
Yeah.
It's just disgusting.
Yeah, that is.
That is scary.
Matthew McConaughey got molested as well.
He talked about it a little bit recently.
I was getting molested before.
Yeah.
Terry Crews, even if you remember his thing, he said that the guy groped him and Terry Cruz, who is a literal wall of a
man, was afraid to do anything to whoever this mystery person was because the power difference
was so great. Yeah. And that's concerning. Yeah. It's a producer in Hollywood, a guy who can make
or break you. Like imagine being so powerfulllywood that you're one of the hundreds or
thousands of producers that you feel confident walking up to the rock and being like nice balls
big boy and then just walking away and the rock being like oh i don't know i don't know i can't
do anything because this guy will destroy my life and it's like super villain powers everyone could
be yours right all the all of hollywood like if you walk up to terry cruz and touch his dick assuming
that it'll work out in your favor like you must think everyone at that party is at your beck and
call and the reason they do that is because historically everyone at that party is at their beck and call.
That's how Hollywood was run.
Oh, you want to be a young starlet?
Suck my dick and I'll give you a role.
Like the fact that like it's funny when they're like these like bullies like Harvey Weinstein, these predators. It's like, no, no, he wasn't breaking the mold.
He was playing the game.
That's what it is.
The same way that they're like, Epstein, thank God
we got that guy, the one guy who was
doing this. No, that was one guy
in a game of many
players. This shit's been going
on forever. Hollywood and
situations like that, especially with young
people, have always been casted through advantageous
older people taking advantage of them.
You can go back to the Greeks.
Who the fuck did Plato and Aristotle tutor? the ones who would suck their dicks like pedestrian was
the name of it yeah pederazzi was was the which which still sounds you got it in gaming too i
mean look at all the stuff going on uh with activision and now all the bad stuff robert
rolling out about bobby kodik and the the woman that the weird one in that story was there was a lady who complained about sexual
harassment,
but then she was forced to go on a work trip with her boss,
which was like a team building cruise.
And she killed herself by throwing herself off the boat.
And then when the police searched his suitcase,
they found a whole shit ton of sex toys.
And it was an accident.
Like it was.
Do we know what kind of toys uh butt plugs mostly
ah it's unrelated yeah so yeah totally
it was a butt plug with a chain and then a giant block of lead
so i tossed them both into the sea he had a there was a small one and a large one in the
suitcase but the medium mysteriously missing.
Very mysterious.
So this is fascinating.
We can get back to it.
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you know what's funny is i was uh i was i was at a super bowl party this last sunday for the super
bowl of course and like you i was at a friend i thought it was for the sex but okay yeah it was
for the sex well that's secondary but it was i'm there and you know how super bowl parties are
first of all incredible spread i ate like so a monster, like an absolute fiend.
Like they had a, thank God,
they had like in their dining room,
they had the spread.
And so everybody's watching the game
and I'm just like mentally being like,
is it too, if I went back to the table now,
would people notice?
Like that I've like hit the table like four times
and like, but I kept doing that.
Basically, I was at this Super Bowl party.
And you meet your friends' friends and stuff like that.
And some guy was like, so what do you do for a living?
And I was like, well, I told him the initial thing,
working in consumer products,
consulting for a few companies.
And then I also do a podcast and
you know he started getting really into that asking me all these questions he like looked it
up on youtube and was like oh shit like i thought you meant like you and like your brother do a
podcast for like six people i'm like no it's been going for a long time we had once of the one of
the internet's first podcast just to be clear like when we
started a podcast no one knew what a fucking podcast was i didn't understand what it was for
a long time those two words i'd never seen put together before when we started doing this and
now it's been so long since you guys started it that it you know you guys got on you were first
adopters of the format but basically i my buddy who was hosting the party introduces me to a friend of his
who we start talking. I tell him I do the podcast. He's
enthralled with the idea of me doing a podcast
as a gig, as part of my job, paying the mortgage with it and shit.
He was like, so do you guys get sponsors and shit? Do you sell
stuff? I was like, yeah, you guys like you get sponsors and shit? Do you sell stuff?
And I was like, yeah, yeah, we get sponsors and stuff.
But we just started a sale on lock and load cum pills. And he was like, what the fuck are you talking about?
And I was like, you want to come like I just started telling a buddy of mine who I'm good friends with who had heard the cum pill spiel before.
It was like, every time we come to a new place, some guy just keeps drilling Taylor with what he does for work.
And then he talks about cum pills again.
I'm like, yeah, I'm working right now.
I'm selling.
He bought a bottle while we were there talking.
Nice job, Taylor.
Yeah, because he was like, is just so you guys know hilarious
the way we handle the payouts for lock and load it's not a standard system we have sort of a
multi-level system built in here so i i came up with the idea along with taylor but i come up with
the idea for the mlm right before taylor could so taylor is sort of a junior member so he's got to
go out there and make those connections so now now I'm in Kyle's downline.
He's in my downline. In Drifter, I'd
love to add you to my downline.
I'll tell you what.
I'll slide you up above Taylor.
You can be in my downline if you jump
in now.
Right now today.
Shake my hand before I walk away.
That's how regular
MLMs work.
Drifter, if you want some lock and load, we can get you a link where you can buy it.
Yeah.
So all jokes aside, last time I was here, I kind of wanted to ask for it.
But given all the weird hormonal things I have going on, it just doesn't seem smart because I'm kind of like a hormone butterfly right i don't want to add
yeah but look at the packaging what if it cured my weird ass problem and i was healthy and just
blew huge loads win win you may make a video it won't make you less healthy well that's a good
start that's a very good start like that is our pka guarantee dude
most of the shit that's in here is shit that most people are severely deficient of anyway
nobody gets enough vitamin d like did you like do you see that i did studies and it's like
80 plus percent of americans don't have enough vitamin d because nobody spends time in the sun
anymore like pretty much everyone needs to be taking vitamin d because nobody spends time in the sun anymore like pretty
much everyone needs to be taking vitamin d supplements oh i need to i meant to do some
research on this do you get vitamin d from a tanning bed yes depending on the kind of light
you can yeah okay good i pop in that thing like every eight weeks or something for like 10 minutes
just keep eight weeks that's not a lot you need more vitamin d too maybe a little more i don't
know every time i'm like i'm like there and it's like convenient to do so like i don't like to like
use it right after someone it's stupid though right like
it's it's it's less appealing to use a toilet seat that someone just got off of
than to wait 10 minutes like if you told me i'm over that now i like the warmth if it's
i was gonna ask about the warmth like what if the toilet seat's warm when you sit i just pretend
i'm in japan and like it's a high-tech thing not another guy you're in walmart in kansas so yeah
but i'm in a mid-missouri walmart so that's probably not right have you guys ever taken
a shit in walmart yeah oh yeah yeah it's yeah it's genuinely not that. Have you guys ever taken a shit in Walmart? Yeah. Oh, yeah.
It's genuinely not that bad as long as you get the crippled
stuff. Here's the thing. If I'm taking a shit at Walmart,
it's going to be over
very quickly.
That's the nature of that shit.
It's like, and we're done.
I'm checking hockey scores. I'm checking records.
American bathrooms
are a little weak. If you go to a
random restaurant bathroom
for a first world country this is not very impressive
the bathrooms you get in random
Mexico
are at least as good as American bathrooms
if you just go to an IHOP bathroom
or a Waffle House bathroom like there's some real
danger there that there's piss on the floor
toilet paper strewn about
that's what it's like don't even get me started on it
a gas
station bathroom well they kind of run these rollers but like they give me the worst of the
worst like it's legit you don't want anything but the bottom of your shoes to touch that floor yeah
even your shoes will be sticky man you'll be like you'll feel it peel off when you walk lame
like no one's in charge of cleaning them well like the thing you gotta do more time
cleaning our floor mats in our cars those things must be i just thought about it that thing's got
to be disgusting those things are rancid do you know what we're talking about floor mats it made
me think of shoes which made me think of this so we've gotten a bunch of snow here recently we got
a bunch of freezing rain and stuff last year when i was like shoveling my driveway i have kind of a
steeper driveway like i almost fell and cracked my head open like three times because i was like shoveling my driveway i have kind of a steeper driveway like i almost fell and
cracked my head open like three times because i was wearing tennis shoes like trying and i would
like start falling and i just like angled the shovel downward like slow me down slow me down
but like it didn't work that well and so i looked up the absolute like grippiest shoes available
after last winter you know doc martin's like uh it's like a brand of boots like
work boots and like on the it is the grippiest shit i've ever worn i don't think you can like
even wear these shoes during like summer because it would be too grippy but it's like and it has
something called an air sole and so it's fly traps that are just glue yeah yeah it's like human size you just
stick or like we need taylor to repair the spaceship quick put on your doc martin so you
stick to the surface of the hole come on and chug up the way and like like i'm i'm like i took the
garbage out today it was sleeting frozen rain there's ice on my on my driveway and i'm wheeling
down my big garbage for the pickup tomorrow. Don't slip once in these
monster shoes. It is like
I've never felt more powerful
and secure moving through the snow and
ice than with these Doc Martin
workers boots. I wish I had snow and ice
to deal with.
No, you don't. It's terrible. I was saying
they have something called an air
sole and so it's like the
spongiest. If like if you're
walking around like on my like my hardwood floors you feel like you're like bouncing almost but when
you're in like grippy shitty environments it's more like you're walking normally because it's
not being as great okay they're they're tremendous i i can't believe i ever shoveled the driveway
without these things granted they didn't sponsor the show no they didn't i wish they did they were
like 130 dollars but everywhere said that they would't i wish they did they were like 130 dollars
but everywhere said that they would last forever and like i could be like 30 years from now still
wearing these shoveling my driveway without dying unless i get like you know heart attack from being
as fat as i am then but yeah still high quality if you're if you're in minnesota the the midwest
somewhere there's a lot of snow and you're slipping all over the place. Doc Martens, man, those grippy as shit.
PSA.
Keep that in mind because apparently it snows every year in Texas now.
Really?
Wait, wait, we're in Texas, just northern Texas near Oklahoma, right?
It'll hit down Austin, San Antonio, Houston.
I mean, last year, Mexico got snow.
Mexico City was white with snow.
That's insane.
Like, yeah.
We had. We're not prepared for that is the weather actually getting more wild or am i just old enough to know now because like yesterday it
was 63 degrees here and today we had freezing weather and snow i think it's objectively getting
more wild because the jet stream is weakening so it makes the weather less predictable because
there's less of a consistency buffer from cold weather coming in i have no idea i just i always
think that i hope so i hope so yeah yeah i mean i wanted to get warmer dude it's gonna it's gonna
we're good oh thank god you're in a terrible place though because i think that you're going
to get more tornadoes there like in the decade or so. I think we all are
and it's going to be interesting to watch.
I love those disaster movies.
We already get some new tornadoes.
Tomorrow and 2012 and stuff like that.
I don't think we're going to see anything like that
because that's science fiction and just
bad movies.
I bet we'll see some big hurricanes and big tornadoes
and stuff. I want to see some
crazy stuff, like three tornadoes melding together and then taking on some sort of like consciousness
and then going like rogue didn't that happen in twister without the consciousness part
yeah there's a bunch of tornadoes in the house that that happened in oklahoma
that happened like eight years ago nine ten years ago here in joplin missouri it just got
totally i remember. It got deleted
from the map, basically. I remember where I was
when that happened. That was such a fucking
disaster. Yeah, that Joplin,
that was crazy. It was
a lot of dead, right?
Yeah, I think it was a lot dead.
The entire town was destroyed.
I wonder,
there's giant tornadoes, but the giant tornadoes that hit
towns are the ones that really get a lot of attention. For all I know, there's a there's giant tornadoes but the giant tornadoes that hit towns
are the ones that really get a lot of attention for all i know there's a lot of giant tornadoes
and they're just destroying a little crop here that's you're right woody like that's the thing
with tornadoes versus hurricanes it's like hurricane there's like one major storm that's
coming tornadoes it's like oh there's we'll get like alerts here where it's like tornado sighting
at fucking 70 and washington whatever it is you know and then
it'll be like uh two more tornadoes uh further east here and here watch out for converging storm
like but like i don't think they ever go twister style and actually yeah you know in the movies
like a lot of times in the movies the thing that like leads to world war three is like the fuel
wars you know like yeah like petroleum yeah mad max and and lots of stuff
like that have that as a concept but uh i was watching this thing about um i think it was the
history of oil or petroleum or something like that which was and it was way more interesting
than it sounds i promise like it starts from like early man finding it bubbling up to like
the point when it started to become more valuable in the turn of the century. And then obviously the rise of OPEC, the first Iraq war, and then on to today.
And I learned a lot of stuff that I didn't quite understand before watching that video.
It was fascinating.
I had no idea some of that stuff.
Oh, but the key thing I took away from it was there's enough known oil deposits right now
to last like another 60 years.
60?
Yeah.
That's not like that long.
That's not.
But I feel like –
No, no.
That's accounting for like a rise in usage.
Like there's an enormous amount of oil.
Wait.
So that's accounting –
And every year they're always finding greater and greater deposits.
Like one year it's like, oh, yeah, we just found this thing in Siberia.
That's like Saudi Arabia 2.0.
And then they're like, actually, with the new tech, the American like oil sands are where it's really fracking shit, man.
We should still get moving towards like solar or something.
I don't want the environment to be fucked up forever.
Taylor, I hate to tell you, but that's not happening yeah we should get off
the train we're like eight inches from uh the building uh yeah i i agree with you that it would
be nice but like we're gonna literally in texas we have a guy running for governor that wants to
ban green energy he wants to shut down all the windmills and stuff because they're evil for
whatever the fuck our windmills i thought windmills were like the really inefficient ones i thought that uh like the solar was way more efficient
neither of them are as efficient as just burning fossil sauce you dig out of the ground
but like yeah no they were fine but it's it's a political thing here to bag on green energy and
go heavy on oil but like you said this train left the station and has been going for
150 plus years. And we never once even thought about slowing it down. And we're not slowing it
down now either. I try not to be like a really like doom gloom, like black pilled kind of guy,
but the environment's not looking so rough. I don't know about you guys, but my retirement
plan is to die fighting in the climate wars. There's not going to be a climate war anytime
soon. All of us will be dead by the time it
really even matters. That Greta bitch will be dead
before it matters too.
But eventually...
I hope you're right.
But in the next 100 years or so,
it might actually matter. But I think we're going to be fine.
We're not going to lose Florida this year or anything.
We're all good. What about food security
though? And also, what about
let's say there's a crop shortage in say brazil and there's like a hundred million brazilians that try to
cross the border that makes our current problem look like a speck of dust we're really good at
that like fixing problems like that we're just really good at it no we've got oh we just kill
them what great that's the future i want to live in. The genocidal one. No.
First of all, it's called Castle Doctrine in Texas,
which is where the Brazilian
invading force is going to be making their
headway.
I'm sure we've got plenty
of drones and missiles
and machine guns and bombs
and napalm. Your attitude
is, so we've got ours and fuck you rest of the
world if you want it you can come take it from my drone i don't pay brazilian taxes
yes i i don't know what to make of this for our own like so i'm gonna look out for americans i
kind of lean on this whole like environment problems are real right you know the global
warming is real you can measure it let's not pretend that it's not real it's happening yeah but it does always seem to be a little farther out
further out i guess it always seems to be a little further out it's just
running out of oil in 60 years i feel like i heard 20 years 20 years ago and then they found
it was peak oil but i remember peak oil i remember peak oil in 1998, hearing about how we were going to run out of oil soon.
And we were peak oil.
And,
and now they just keep pushing the peak along.
Yeah.
The United,
the United States,
um,
OPEC keeps like trimming production and the Russians keep messing with
theirs and the United States is like,
Oh,
you want to mess with the market?
We'll make so much cheap oil.
You never,
and we did.
And we became the biggest producer of oil in the world.
Because it's convenient for our economy if oil is cheap.
That's not how I remember it.
I remember oil went up.
The price of oil went up.
And all of a sudden it was like, oh, well, this shale shit we have,
which is an expensive way to get oil, is now profitable.
You're talking about the 70s?
No, I'm talking about early 2000s.
Oh, okay.
Yeah.
So we're probably at war with Iraq or something.
Who knows?
And oil is super expensive.
And because oil is super expensive,
our expensive way of extracting oil is profitable.
Whereas previously, only their cheap way of it,
popping out of a hole on its own
was profitable. That's mentioned in the video too.
I think you'd like this video.
You're more clued into the history of petroleum
than I was. I
enjoyed it a lot. I enjoyed it
a lot. It explained a lot of
the hostilities between Iraq
and Iran and the whole region
and how all that's tied in.
They're like, even though saddam
hussein was begging them not to invade it didn't matter because the wheels were in motion yeah
yeah that oh that's um that's what i actually um i saw a reddit comment on um that was i sent you
that video of all the russian military helicopters flying over in a convoy. It's some civilian video somewhere in Russia.
Okay, I don't watch it.
All right, so it's a convoy of military helicopters,
one after another in the staggered formation
that just goes on for three minutes.
Lots of them.
And, you know, I don't know if any of us know
what a fucking helicopter, Russian helicopter looks like
or which ones are which,
but the comments are like,
oh, that's their TI-95 and their BR-67s.
They're bringing out the big boys.
This represents 17% of the entire Russian helicopter fleet.
And what you've got to keep in mind, boys, is the expense of just the fuel of getting
those helicopters there.
Bear in mind, the fuel to get them back is waiting on them there.
They sent that weeks ago, and the parts to repair them have been waiting. The orders for new the drinks are on the table the customers are in
line outside to stop now and say we changed our mind it would be a disaster for everyone involved
people have to die they're going in i was watching a thing about are they really gonna go right are
they like there's one thing you can do, which is like a,
you know how guerrillas charge,
but they don't mean to,
all you have to do is stay on your ground and it stops there.
Yeah.
How can you tell if it's that,
or if it's a real attack where they're about to hit you and they're like,
Oh God.
Well,
when they just do the gorilla charge thing,
they just put troops near the border and that's,
that's it.
They amass it.
He's like,
they're doing some other stuff here. They have set up hospitals along the border and that's that's it they amass it he's like they're doing some other stuff here they have set up hospitals along the border mash units they have blood that will
otherwise go bad on the border in these mash units to treat their casualties they have sent propaganda
to their citizens to convince them that it's a good idea to do they don't say they don't
propagandize i think that's a word their own population if they're not idea to do. They don't say they don't propagandize. I think that's a word their own population.
If they're not going to do something that would be counter to their own interest.
Right.
Then everyone's going to think they're a pussy or that they should have done it.
No, no.
They only do the propaganda when they intend to really make this real.
It is every indication that it's not fake.
Which is exactly what you would want to do if you wanted to use this whole thing as a master bluff as a bargaining chip next time there's some NATO wants missiles here and Russia wants fuel rights there sort of thing.
But I would lean on the side of like, yeah, like Occam's razor is that they actually just mean business.
And this isn't some like 3D chess, James Bond villain stuff, although you cannot put that past Vladimir Putin.
James Bond villain stuff.
Although you cannot put that past Vladimir Putin.
I'm,
I'm one who's like, uh,
when they start,
start,
start talking about Hillary Clinton eating babies,
she doesn't seem smart enough to pull that off.
Like,
like after watching her talk about,
talk about wanting to see Pokemon people,
Pokemon go to the polls.
I've got red in my purse.
Like,
bitch,
you've used,
you're,
you're not that bright.
Actually.
It turns out like,
like you're smart.
Don't get me wrong.
You're a genius.
You're smarter than me,
but you're not smart enough to like master a new thing which was like social media and pop culture you couldn't do
that and i would say someone that i would like think of as a genius could like she couldn't
figure that shit out that shit's so cringe like like losing to donald trump is like the greatest
failure in political history that's a pretty big l because he shot himself in the foot and face
over and over again and still won which is insane insane. You talk about eating babies. If that's real and adrenochrome is real and all
that stuff, why aren't there just factories for it in India and China where they don't give a
fuck? Like, why do you need an underground pizza restaurant and cooperation of Hollywood?
Just everybody would fly out to like remote Bangladesh or something and just eat all the children
there.
They'll farm you children.
I don't care.
Yeah.
I look,
I'm just like throwing a wild thing out here,
but maybe the baby eating is almost like that pedophile thing.
Like where it's a,
it's to like make it's like if they all do it,
then they all have that over on one another.
You could never come out and be like,
I'm part of this underground group that's been like pulling the strings on society and the global economic food chain since the dawn of time.
Because immediately they'd like release the pictures of you with like a boy or something like that.
Taking a bite.
Yeah.
Like for all we know, like maybe like that's who Epstein was.
He was the first whistleblower.
He's not a pedophile or a bad man at all.
He was a hero.
He was trying to expose the global elites,
and they coined a phrase by Epstein-ing him.
I think you're right.
Epstein was the real hero in this story.
Oh, God.
I don't think that's true.
I heard you say it.
I never said anything of the kind.
I'm not going to disagree with you.
The better question is, do you believe that there's a real underground, like giant pedophile ring that you got to have like a secret handshake to get into or what?
I a thousand percent know that those exist because.
Why, Kyle?
Because they're uncovered.
Why were you really in jail?
Why don't you tell us now?
That's why I was in jail.
I wouldn't have made it out. I wouldn't have made it out.
Deep cover operative.
I wouldn't have made it out.
No, but those are literally uncovered every month.
I don't know.
If you just peruse Reddit, Reddit's real good about, hey, another pedophile got caught, guys.
Look, they're really good about posting those.
So how often do you see 37 individuals taken out, five terabytes of this, that, and the other?
Here's what I learned about
those gargantuan numbers assigned to the amount of child pornography these guys have. Because if
you ever notice, these guys have astounding amounts of child pornography. And for those of
us who have any concept of what a terabyte of video is, and assuming even that it's 4K video,
of video is um and assuming even that it's 4k video it's just so much even at 4k resolution five terabytes of child pornography is like more movies than i've ever seen in my life
we're talking about arabites of yeah yeah yeah i mean if you're getting 4k that's the really
premium stuff are there even enough kids to make that much apparently so so they make more kids
all the time so here's what it is.
I just watched this.
I saw a Reddit post about this
couple that was going to prison
for some pedophilia stuff. She was a
teacher. Basically, what they
had done is her sheriff's department
SWAT team leading husband
had masturbated on cupcakes
that she then served to her junior high
school students.
And they videoed that.
And that's the leading story in the article.
And anyone who's familiar, do you know what else they did that was like at the bottom of the article? I didn't even know they did that.
Okay.
So like the main thing is the cupcakes with semen on them, which is disgusting.
That they were served to children.
Horrific.
She got a year in prison for that.
But then like the article. Did the guy get any time oh yeah oh yeah stick with me here
they haphazardly mentioned she got 40 years in federal prison total and i'm like what the
fuck else did she do and this article is so trash i had to go to reddit comments they had
raped a 12 year old girl and recorded it together. And, and she was,
and they're both going away for the,
like essentially the rest of their lives for raping children.
And that wasn't the lead.
That was not the lead.
The lead was the,
the come on the cupcakes because that's more salacious,
I guess,
and more unique.
It was ridiculous.
And,
but it's wild.
What was I going to say about the,
the,
the cupcakes,
the, Oh, the terabytes of pornographyabytes of pornography like I read in the comments
because they said that they were possession of five
terabytes and
For those of you don't know that's just a shocking
That's so much if there's a visual representation of how of what it looks like it's one of those things
600 hours worth of HD movies
about right.
That's and,
and like,
that's insane.
But here's the thing.
If you've got a folder of photographs and you put one child,
child pornography picture in there with like a bunch of regular porn,
it is all child porn.
Now that's what happened.
What happened was this guy had a huge amount of pornography,
and he has what is an indeterminate amount of child pornography,
and they will not take the time to be like,
this girl's of age, this one's not, this one is, this one's not.
That's his child porn folder.
That's bullshit.
Yeah, that's what happened to Jared Fogle.
Not that I'm defending Jared Fogle. I'm just saying that is what happened to Jared Fogle. Not that I'm defending Jared Fogle.
I'm just saying that is what happened to Jared Fogle.
I thought Jared Fogle had physical contact and molested young girls.
He also had an enormous amount of child pornography.
Was it young boys?
Was it young girls?
I don't know.
It's girls.
He also had a bunch of child porn.
And when the two are going hand in hand, it's this enhancement type thing.
Yeah, it kind of looks bad, bad doesn't it when you're raping
kids and looking at child pornography not defending him i'm just saying i would say that's
two two strikes against you bucko one more strike for now you're free one more to go for now you're
still an okay guy but one more strike you you don't you don't you don't return it's a good
thing you're the little little league coach because you won't forget the strike thing.
I'm going in a weird direction here.
Let me get my thoughts together.
We were talking about how much 600 terabytes of child pornography is
because that's a lot.
And then I thought, well, my only experience with such things
was very low resolution.
And the majority of the time you see that, it's like a really compressed cheapo file and then you're gonna say holy shit
this guy's watching child porn i did have a personal experience with this during it was like
2018-19 2020 ish when i was being harassed by eight thoughts and all the trolls and stuff
uh there was a day for i think oni-san or somebody on youtube got accused of child porn
man gets on twitter makes tons of jokes about child porn and molestation and blah, blah, blah.
His community is filled full of horrible, nasty incels.
And at the time, I was spying on the community with a burner account in their Discord so that I would have advance notice if they were planning a swatting night or something like that.
Right.
OK, so I didn't think anything of it,
and I go check Discord to write down all the illegal shit every day
and send it to the police like I normally do.
And since today was all jokes about kitties getting diddled,
the Discord was just shit tons of child porn all the way down,
just like nasty stuff.
I had no fucking idea what to do.
So I called my lawyer to tell them and I'm
like, Hey, you know, this, you know, makes my case look great, but I, how the fuck do I handle
these files? Is it legal for me to like save this? And they're like, we don't fucking know.
So we got to go and we got to call the police. And the police is like, well, this is online and
it's not like local to us and there's not much we can do about it. So they're like, let me put
you in contact with the FBI.
So call the FBI and the FBI is like,
yeah, don't download anything.
Don't save anything.
It's questionably legal.
It's bad for you, blah, blah, blah.
And what we want you to do is write down all the usernames and IDs
and everything you know about people posting this.
And if you've seen anything,
we want a detailed description
so that we can hopefully identify the victims.
So you in a shitty situation where you're having to, like, be a commentator for child porn.
Yeah.
So I had to write detailed descriptions of all of the child.
Yeah.
And it was really awful stuff. of the most it was mostly like
super low res videos of infants being jesus i'm just kidding so these guys were
like the topic of child porn came up and their response instead of like absurdist humor and
jokes was to post child pornography if you like you press the
like button if you don't leave a comment that's they did eventually get cleaned up like somebody
with brains showed up and said holy shit this is bad but it was up for like 8 or 12 hours just
sitting there and it was it was one of the most miserable days of my life to sit there and just
like write descriptions of shit to mail to
the FBI. And I talked to them and I'm like, Hey, you know, I'm having all these other problems.
Maybe this gets you interested. And they're like, no, we're going to handle this. We got a whole
team to handle this. Uh, but it came up because what's insane about it is you say 600 terabytes
and my limited sample of this is all of these files are like tiny shitty like cell phone copies like
five ten megabytes so if you're talking like 600 terabytes at 480p or less hours yeah 1600 hours
is about the average so that gives an even greater scale for what the average hall is like which is
honestly terrifying and nobody's laughing this got too dark no no that is that is terrifying it it is
darkly humorous imagining you scrolling through abhorrent photos and having to be like
light pink backdrop naked child bow and hair yeah out okay Okay, next. Scroll down. That seems
like a horrible afternoon.
It was. It was not a fun one.
Could you have been like, you know,
no, no, you guys are the FBI.
I'm not an agent. I'm telling
you what there is. You pick
your most perverted agent to look through
this shit. I almost want to be like,
look, here's my login
for this
Discord account so that you can go in there, but almost want to be like look here are here's my login for this this account
for this like discord account so that you can go in there like but you gotta be careful these days
like if someone is completely tech retarded they won't understand that you're they'll be like i
logged into his account and there was child porn whoa you don't know how discord works so we need
to take a whole time out here sir like no no you're
logging into account that has joined a room in which other people are doing criminal things it's
yes like you picture real world rooms okay and you walk into one and some shit's going down
i am allowing you to walk into a room sir it is not my room it is just a room
yeah and that's an excellent point because some some boomer judge would absolutely be like his account was logged into and there was a terabyte of child porn found in that forum.
Right there on Discord.
Yeah.
And then a boomer jury might fall for that.
What was the guy's name?
He had a whole bunch of prison stories with Bowie.
Sean Atwood.
It wasn't, though.
It was the other.
Oh, Josh Palalp.
That's what I'm looking for yeah he
was the one who went to a website and didn't download a game and they had no idea the
difference between downloading and not downloading and he was like i have all the evidence that
proves i didn't download it i hear my logs etc they're wrong i didn't do this thing they said i
did and they're like well i'll just grant you that point because I don't know the difference anyway.
But I don't know what download means.
Yeah, because
it was like shit.
So I won the point, but you haven't changed
your mind about me.
That's what happened to him. Yeah, it happens
a lot in court. You know what? Download me.
It's so scary.
You know, when someone in a
courtroom is ignorant about something because you're not in a position where you can be like, I'm not going to deal with you if you don't know what you're talking about, Your Honor.
You're stuck here and you've got to make do with what you have and hope that your lawyer can tell you.
When I was being trolled and swatted, the police just seemed to have no idea that I wasn't the person doing it or that I wasn't instructing all these people to do it or that I wasn't the
ringleader of a,
you know,
people are ordering stupid pizzas and sending them to my house.
And the pizza guy had no idea that it like,
that I didn't want this to happen either.
So they act like it's your fault.
Like,
what did you do to deserve this?
You're getting bullied for a reason.
Don't encourage these people.
Your reactions fuel.
This is like,
I'm reacting because crazy shit's happening.
They asked me like,
why don't you just stop being online?
And I,
I told him my salary and he's like,
okay.
I mean,
you're,
you're so right.
Like,
why don't you stop being a police officer?
Right.
When I've gone to like local PDs,, when I get doxxed or something happens,
and I tell them, hey, if you get a call about this, there's this.
No, here's my private number.
You call me.
If you get a cop who is, and I know because I've done this multiple times,
if you get a cop who's in his mid-40s and above,
like Woody, obviously a huge outlier in that age group,
they think that you are like bringing it
1 million percent on yourself the last time I did it which is probably over a year ago at this point
it was a guy probably between me and Kyle's age like early 30s and he like as I said the name of
the show he like had his phone out pulled it up like oh this actually is a pretty big show okay
I see what you're saying I'll make a note of this on your file for your address and i was like thank you thank you so much thank you because lieutenant live in this
drawer right here yeah the first guy i talked to who was like probably almost 50 was like what's
that yeah i'm gonna keep this safe right here in the circular file and it's like god damn it man like please don't show up my house and
shoot me oh god um you could have the opposite experience i got kind of spooked by a cop one time
uh all this nonsense is going on uh i go out for a walk and there's like four squad cars outside
my house and i think fuck not again right turns out had nothing to do with me and it was my neighbor
having a we'll say domestic
dispute with his wife that turned out unpleasant. And I guess the police around here didn't have
much to do, but I didn't know that. So I just walked up to an officer and I asked him kind of
like, you know, what's going on? What's your business here? And he told me and I'm like,
okay, that's good. I was like, four cars is a lot. I'm telling you, I've had some harassment
problems. Is this anything related to me or am I just good to go on my walk?
And then he called me by name and said, you're good to go.
And I'm like, what?
And he's like, yeah, I know who you are.
I know what's going on.
And I'm like, oh, you're working the case.
And he's like, no, I've just seen it on stream.
And I'm like, oh, well, that's really cool.
It's nice to meet you.
Are you one of my stream regulars?
He's like, no, I don't watch your stream.
What was the only other stream where that was happening?
Yeah, yeah, yeah yeah that's yeah ideal nope um nothing you can prove or do anything about that but i was just like cool that's uh that's that's rad that's unfortunate yeah it is
good times good times let me steer the topic back around to something a bit less
let's see uh tell us about another time uh tell us about another time the shadow people
oh good okay that's more light. Okay. Keep it light, you bitch.
I saw a glowing light one time.
Well, I've seen
the old hag, not the hat man.
Excuse me?
Glowing lights.
Oh, you've never seen that?
You just said hat man.
When my wife saw hat man.
Oh, does she abuse Benadryl?
No, none of us do.
No Ambien, no Benadryl, none of that kind of stuff or a fun one.
I used to live on a property that was formerly owned by a cult and it was really weird and it was kind of haunted-y.
So some of my Spanish in-laws thought it'd be a great idea to have an exorcism.
So I got to watch that when I was a little kid, which was
a bizarre short version. We bought
a house way out in the middle of nowhere in Texas.
It bedded like 18,
but mostly in weird bunk beds that
were built into the attic. And it was very
fish, like
greenhouse, very self-sustaining.
And the people that lived there all of a sudden
moved like overnight and sold
it like dirt cheap. This is a lot to ingest.
I'm a lot of people in a lot of things.
You were growing up in
fucking Waco or something.
It's a lot more remote than Waco,
but yeah.
Damn. The town had 40 people.
David Koresh was terrified of our compound.
We kicked him out for his simpleton views.
It wasn't extreme enough for us.
The house was very weird.
There was always weird noises, always weird shit going on.
You could never sleep because something would go bump in the night.
Nothing like super horrifying or shadow people or whatever,
but it fucked with everybody in the house.
Mostly would come from my brother's room, which was weird because we thought he was getting up in the night. So we would make him
sleep downstairs and it would still happen. Or if he slept up there, he said he would never hear
anything, but downstairs sounded like a nightmare. And it happened once when one of my in-laws was
at the house and she happened to be a devout Spanish Catholic and it freaked her right
properly the fuck out. And she came back with some of her
friends I don't think they were priests
and they started putting oils
on the walls and crosses and out with
you demons and then shit in Spanish that I couldn't
understand and concentrating and cursing
and blessing and I you know I'd
seen scary movies growing up so I was like oh this is really
cool I want to see this I've never seen an exorcism
or a blessing or a demon
warding whatever it is that they're doing because i don't speak spanish i don't know
and uh i was very pissed off because i was not allowed i was the only person not allowed to
witness the exorcism because i was the only person in the house that was unbaptized and they were all
afraid that the ghost or whatever would go into me so i had to go away on the other side of the
property while they banished evil spirits or whatever and the short version is it didn't do a goddamn thing all the spooky stuff
kept happening so i'm of course because it's all fake what are you baptized yeah i believe these
people buy nfts yeah probably you're not me yeah i am now i'm i'm the only one huh i guess i don't
think i'm as remotely religious as I used to be
so I don't know if that counts but I did get baptized
you're going to hell so hard
you know I don't know why
but we used to do that thing
me and Woody are going to be fucking
high fiving riding a tandem bike
up in heaven
on a cloud somehow
you're not getting any traction
can I just Oh, God. On a cloud somehow. Yeah, I'm not getting any traction.
Can I just... I'll hit you guys with a less crazy one, more of a funny one.
It was when I was like 16, 17 years old.
I had moved away from that bad place to a, we'll say, different place in Mississippi.
I lived in a very small house.
We were not rich people.
My dad made like $4,000 a year, and there was a little bit of subsistence hunting kind of stuff going on.
And I was big into video games.
I'd play.
Hold on.
Yeah?
$4,000 a year.
Forget that, Taylor.
Could you just say the words that you hunted for your own food?
A little bit.
It wasn't anything crazy.
You catch fish from the river.
You shoot a deer here and there
if a redneck has something they want a trophy and not the meat i'll take it this is awesome
yeah so stuff like that my wife would eat raccoons and stuff and possums and whatever the fuck
made they're really chewy and gamey but we did a lot of that kill them or find them by the roadside
you're not supposed to kill them i just pop them shoot them with the 22 but the point
is we lived kind of broke as a really small little house and i lived in a really small little room we
didn't have any heat or air so whatever it was outside it just was inside and i had to deal with
it uh but i would sit there on my little tv and i'd play video games and i was big into video games
one night i go to bed everything's normal and i hear this giant fucking crash and slam and like glass breaking.
And the only thing I can think is that my brand new fan that I got installed, by the way, I lived like three years with no fan in the summer.
Super happy to have my fan.
I thought the fan had fallen down because we used the cheapest repairman possible.
And I thought, fuck, I'm gonna have to spend all summer with no fan.
So I get up and go kind of like around the walls of my room to avoid stepping on glass and turn on the light. And everything is fine. Everything is totally fine and normal.
And I'm like, have I lost my mind? And then I look over to my little desk where I would do my
homework. And there's a giant pile of old video games. And when I say old, I mean 1980s old, like the Ghostbusters game and Super Mario Duck Hunt,
the original boxes in pretty good conditions. And what was weird about this is these were things
that I had owned eons ago, right? Desk was clean when I went to bed. These are things that I had
not seen in 10 plus years at that point. When you give something to a three-year-old in 1989,
it tends to get torn up i remember moving
and throwing them away and then suddenly in the middle of the fucking night for no reason there's
a whole pile of vintage games just sitting on my desk you know there's no explanation no nothing
you know drifter i find you to be a charming and time man i i i really enjoy it when you're on. I look forward to it.
Okay.
There's a but, though.
But when you talk about things like this, I think that, well,
I hope that everyone's ears are perking up and hearing these things.
And, look, I have a side of me that thinks that there's a chance
that you are haunted by demons.
I have not made that a zero-sum thing. Okay? You you are haunted by demons. I have not made that a zero-something.
Okay?
There's...
You may be haunted by demons.
I want you to do paranormal videos where you, like, film yourself.
Like, set up one of those night vision cameras by your bed, dude.
And, like, if anything ever happens and you could string this together, I'd be a viewer.
Because you creep me out by telling me this stuff the same
way.
Um,
uh,
what's our friend who came out a while,
a while back who does the scary stories.
Uh,
when did it's the,
when did,
when did Taylor,
I'm muted.
I'm so sorry.
When did,
when did,
yeah.
Oh yeah.
Yeah.
When did good.
When you start telling me like stuff about your childhood or adolescence,
or maybe even the last few years,
this,
this stuff about seeing things,
it creeps me out the way that, uh, when toendigo i want to get his name because i do like him i watch his videos all the time it's just i think it's like wendigo
but uh wendigo yeah yeah but well it's because there's i think there's a mythical monster called
a wind uh wendigo wendigo is a wendigo yeah walker kind of eats people exactly yeah it pretends to be people and that's like
yeah and and that's one of those monsters that's one of those monsters that like something that
takes the form of humans those are the ones that like if you're whatever you want to call it open
minded or goofy or or silly enough or or whatever to believe in crazy stuff that's one of the ones
that can make sense to like sneak by like no you don't
understand of course we don't know they exist they take the form of what we see every day people
looks like a normal guy just walking down the street or maybe minding his own business in the
woods you don't know it's like the thing which is the greatest horror movie ever or maybe like
reptilians you know taking the form of uh, you know, the whole overlord thing.
The reptilian part, it doesn't make sense because like the reptilian conspiracy thing, it says they're underground.
They're cold blooded.
They'd be way too hot.
They'd be warm down there.
They'd be warm down there.
They'd need that to stay warm.
They'd need that to live.
They'd live on geothermals and to live above ground.
They want to, they've taken positions of power
no it's it's not like basking in the sun hot down there it's unbelievably hot it depends how deep
you go taylor okay have you been to the mines of korgoroth i think no i'm making this have you seen
have you seen the steam pools of the deep gogola? If I hadn't, I wouldn't
have made it. Where the reptile men
are numbered in the millions
and the reptile women do whatever
you want. Do you think they have
tits? No, they have cloacals, man.
You ever seen one of those alligator cloacals?
That little slit?
Humans could learn a few
things about vaginas from alligators.
And dolphins. Yeah. And dolphins. humans could learn a few things about vaginas from alligators and dolphins and dolphins
I saw an Impractical Jokers
bit where he's like
you ever wonder what dolphin puss looks like
he has to say that to a pretty woman
and she literally goes
I think it's just kind of circular
she just rolls with it and it's just like
damn
every once in a while they run
up against a cool person who's just as down to be silly yeah but but but back to the thing
i worry that that that may be like like you know you're hallucinating right do you think
you're hallucinating i probably that's the most logical thing right and i'm not trying to be
shitty i'm not trying to be shitty about this or like like like we've talked about this when you
weren't here and i don't i don't want you to think that
like i'm doing that behind your back or like anything like that kyle kyle's fascinated by
this whole thing okay i really i don't get offended easily so it's no worries yeah don't
think that i'm like behind your back like laughing it up no no or it's ridiculous i tell these stories
because the situation is just ridiculous and it's it. It's interesting to me, like genuinely. Yeah. Last time you were on, Kyle was like, guys, we should have stayed on the paranormal shit
the whole four hours.
I'm fascinated.
I could go on about that forever because so much like weird shit happened.
But the short version is Woody's gone.
I feel like I feel like he just didn't want to hear this shit.
And he probably.
No, no.
He's home improvement stuff.
He's going to get in a snack.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
The reality is that a lot of this happened at a very not so great time in my life.
My home life was broken.
I was moving a lot.
I was stressed out a lot.
I mean, I was the kind of kid that would have to stay up late at night and keep the shoes
by the bed because you might have to bounce like that.
And it's very realistic to say that the stress of that does not do good things to the psyche of children for sure
So as I move into adulthood these things happen far less frequently they do still happen
So I think well did I really like did this shit like really happen which the subreddit your subreddit tore me a whole new?
Asshole about this about supposedly lying or whatever but the practical version is I have to think well it only happened
lying or whatever but the practical version is i have to think well it only happened experientially in here most likely because i don't live my life making decisions based on what i think shadow
people or demons or whatever the fuck are going to do i'm a very logical scientific person that's
what i appreciate about what you're saying because you're not coming here and you're
like dan akroyd for example a guy that i really am a huge fan of since i was a kid i think he's a
brilliantly funny man from snl andL and Ghostbusters and all the writing
he's done, but he's a whack job
when you hear him speak.
When he talks about aliens or secret societies,
he's got that really quick Chicago accent.
He's explaining it to you, and you're just like,
Crystal Skull Vodka! Then he starts talking about aliens
and you're just like, okay, you're a whack.
Dan Aykroyd is into aliens?
His whole family used to be psychic mediums.
Dan Aykroyd is incredibly aliens and shit? His whole family used to be psychic mediums. Dan Aykroyd is
incredibly wacky. You know his character
in Ghostbusters? How he's like
a paranormal psychologist?
Yeah, but I thought that was just him.
No. Well, they were all kind of paranormal.
A lot of the wackadoo writing is him
going to Ivan Reitman, who just ripped,
who just passed away, and being like, oh, we gotta
have some stuff about the occult in here.
They wrote that fucking movie, and he has always been wacky like that with the occult
conspiracies aliens and and he believes stringently and he does he has that crystal skull vodka
company and that's his company yes yeah yeah he makes a lot of money selling that is that is like
so many people know that like you walk through like your grocery store and go through the alcohol aisle and like so much of it is just the coolness of the designs that gets you where
you're like okay well this one looks like a wine bottle and it's $7.99 this one looks cool as shit
it's got a skull and it's $11.99 i'm gonna always go skull it's cooler the that is one of the best
gimmicks i've never had that it's not great vodka but it's not
awful vodka and you get a skull out of it it's cool like you can fill it up with sand of different
colors like doing those little sand art things you can you can do a lot of stuff with it i saw
someone take this glow-in-the-dark sand that you can like and they filled it up with that and then
the whole skull would just glow under black light i don't know they're neat little props to like
throw on a desk or something like that too i think but what i was getting at i'm sorry i don't know they're neat little props to like throw on a desk or something like that too i think but but what i was getting at i'm sorry i don't get away from the point is
like go for it that's a wacky guy who i think is just a loon i don't think that of you at all
i appreciate that a lot of people do but when you casually talk about this stuff it can lend itself
so but what i i see from you is not someone who's trying to convince me that there are
paranormal things happening it's someone who's telling me about what you're talking about your mental illness essentially and and how like
traumatic events have triggered uh this but more uh at certain points in your life and how you
basically see things that aren't there and how you and i don't know how you cope with that because
if i thought like right now i've got my monitors in front of me some
lighting and shit but like across that room there's a door over there if i look ever looked
up and i'm alone at my house right now if i ever looked up and i saw something look at me through
there it would upset me so much that i don't think i could live alone anymore i talked about this
with someone like yesterday when i because because someone asked me who was coming on and we had very similar discussion to what we're having right now
but but i told him like i i couldn't even live alone anymore i don't think and i don't think
like getting a a full-time like live-in girlfriend would do the trick i think i'd have to move back
in with my father to feel safe again if there were dark men in my house like that sounds silly if there's static man or shadow
if there's dark dark shadow people or something like and something i'm interested in with what
drifter said is i'd be so scared when you described experiencing it as a kid you talk about like
seeing a figure for extended periods of time when you described it just now as an adult
you were like a fleeting image in the corner like is that how it tends to be now as an adult it's
more of a fleeting like it could be a shadow and it's just your childhood reminding you like oh
that could be that yeah something like that as an adult very fleeting. I don't hallucinate things very infrequently.
Three, four times a year, tops if it's busy. Audio is a little more frequent, but it's usually just
very, very small things. It's not whispering voices and crazy shit like that. But I think
the improvement came to an improvement to my psyche when I left the very toxic environment,
but that doesn't change the memories of these things. And as a kid, I was rationally like you, very scared. I wouldn't stay certain places. I wouldn't do certain things
alone. I wouldn't go places. I wouldn't touch things. And they take me to child psychologists
and I would tell them about these things. None of them were impressed. I got a variety of medications
which kids probably shouldn't have. Agreed. But at the end of the day, even though I'm very
cognizantly aware that there's like
a 99% chance that everything I see exists only up here, it doesn't change the reality
of the memories for me.
Like, so Kyle, you're or Taylor, you're very reasonable people.
If a very unreasonable thing happened, a very spooky shadow person or ghost just peeked
around the corner and said, fuck you, Kyle.
And then just disappeared.
And you saw it for real, totally for real. You couldn't unremember it. You couldn't remember it like any other different way
it would be in your mind forever. So let me ask you this. I like what you've led me here.
The memories that you have of these encounters, let's call them. Are they just as grounded? Do
they feel just as real as like your 15th birthday party or something like that?
Yes, 100%. That's why when I first started my YouTube channel, I can see you laugh already.
I endeavored to tell these stories and I told almost all of them in about a 10 or 15 part series
so that as I get older and my memory changes and you recall and your retell and things change,
so that at least
the best memory I had available at the time existed as a sort of log. But I do remember them
as real. Matter of fact, I had something happen when I was 15. It was a bunch of weird noises
that made me leave my house. I didn't really like it. I didn't know how to deal with it.
So I just fucking left and went to a friend's house. And I had a very awkward conversation
telling my friend that, yeah, I want to spend the night here because something is following me around the house and making noises.
I don't expect you to believe that.
Just humor me.
Oh, not only would I believe it, but I would be like, Mom, he's back.
You promised you'd do something.
Like, Mom, you said you'd call the police this time.
He keeps coming back.
You know he's haunted, right?
I saw it, too.
They say if he sleeps at your house, it kills you in seven days.
It kills you in seven days. It kills you in seven days.
Don't watch any VHS he brought with him.
You're being drug away by your mom.
You're like, it's Jurassic Park!
That's very interesting.
That's weird.
You said that the visual hallucinations, as kid, very intense as an adult fleeting.
And it's more almost maybe an anomaly in the corner of your eye that triggers an internal memory of a similar shaped thing is auditory.
The same thing where now when you were a kid, it was full sentences, full voices.
And now it's more of just kind of something curious that you don't think exists well weirdly
um i had no voices as a kid nothing really oh so much every now and then you would get thoughts
that weren't yours uh so to speak more of an idea and less of a less of a words of voice babbling
time out again okay so up until now again i don't know much but up until now, again, I don't know much, but up until now, it seems like you've described a lot of things that seemed like they were external.
You experienced them as external events, but now you describe something that you experienced as an internal event, something where you had a feeling or a thought that didn't feel like it was yours, which is maybe a sister mental illness,
but I don't think coincides with the same illness.
I wish we, next time you come on,
we're going to have a doctor here.
Okay. Yeah. You can bring a doctor.
I'm sure I'll give them all sorts.
I'm keeping doctors busy right now, as a matter of fact.
And I'm glad that you're open to it.
And you realize that I'm not trying to like make light of this,
that like I'm genuinely like interested.
And I'm telling these stories because they're interesting. think it is interesting content you know it's very interesting content
i love spooky supernatural stuff or or just hallucinations you know all right all right if
you if you do then like i mentioned a minute ago but windigoon like like god i hope you get your
name right bro uh yeah i fucking love you by the way um he's uh i
watched his video about like sea mysteries and maybe i was just in the right mood and the lighting
in the room was right it was like two in the morning when i watched too it was creeping me
out i was getting like the chills a little bit like like i was getting a little uncomfortable
you were getting like those goosebumps pulling the blanket up a little bit. Because he's telling a story of this turn-of-the-century boat going from America to Europe.
And the captain brings his wife and his young child.
He crews the ship with 15 good men, half of which are close friends and confidants, all experienced sailing men carrying a thousand barrels of ethanol to Europe.
And the ship is found about a few hundred miles off the coast of Europe, completely empty and with no signs of struggle.
Food is on the tables. Ink and parchment is out on the table. So the ship couldn't have rocked very much.
There's a little water in the hole, but
that's kind of standard for those
ships of that age.
I'll get to that.
One of the lifeboats,
the ropes have been cut,
and it's missing.
Wendigan makes the point that
in that time, you wouldn't
cut your rope as a sailor at sea
on a cross-Atlantic voyage.
You have so much rope, and then you have no rope, and your rigging is your life out there.
It's a commodity. You need it.
They need that rope. You wouldn't cut the rope except in an emergency.
We need it now. There's no time to untie a knot.
Ten seconds doesn't exist here.
10 seconds doesn't exist here.
And so the people who find it,
another experienced captain who takes the ship in
to get the salvage rights.
So then there's a court proceeding
to determine if everything's legit
because you have a...
And so they investigated this thing thoroughly
and came up with every conceivable theory.
And in the end,
no one has any idea
what happened to the captain,
his family,
his 12 or 15 crew. They can't come up with a scenario that makes sense yeah for for them to abandon their ship like
that or and the other thing the valuable cargo anything stolen from the show that's what i was
going to say the valuable cargo is there the captain's sword is in his quarters you'd think
that you know if if things got rough he'd have the sword you know not under his bed illogical yeah so what what was the
conclusion of it like that's the they have no idea so he tells like five or six stories about the sea
in this one video and the end of every story is who knows like like no one knows and um that all the cargo is intact a thousand barrels of ethanol
which i suppose is like reasonably valuable at the time certainly not um a small amount of money
yeah it's uh for some reason those creep me out it's it's alcohol yeah yeah so it's just alcohol
it's alcohol for industrial use oh you know it's not ghosts right it's not bullshit no
so why did the why would people leave the ship quickly?
If you think the ship's going to go down, you leave the ship.
If the ship is in a position where you think she's going down and the lifeboat is a more reasonable choice than staying on board.
So you've got to think of all the scenarios in which that thought occurs to you.
Playing from pirates, weirdly.
Well, pirates would rob you, right? They and all you think um so like in my mind i have to get so
convoluted all right maybe pirates come but it goes bad and the captain's family is killed and
the pirate one pirate turns on the other pirate and he kills that pirate because he doesn't like
that a family's been killed he's there for the money not for all this craziness and then everybody
had to go but no that doesn't work it doesn't make any sense there's been killed. He's there for the money, not for all this craziness. And then everybody had to go, but no, that doesn't work.
It doesn't make any sense.
There's no blood.
There's no sign of struggle.
I want to say that the 300-pound block that they put the compass in,
I don't know what those are called.
It's some nautical term for the thing the compass goes in on a sailboat.
It's a big thing.
That was knocked over, which was odd because it's heavy.
sailboat it's a big thing that was knocked over which was odd because it's heavy and so so in uh i'm assuming in all these examples everybody who jumped ship and like got on the lifeboat
they died before they got to shore so there was never any never felt like oh the the ss uh ulysses
i was on that what happened was xyz no no this is this is like 15 men who were never seen from
again another one was more modern this was that because the first one's 100 years ago the second one was
three guys on what looked like a um a catamaran like like maybe like fishing vessel type thing
yeah and uh like like all three of them somehow they found found the boat with the sail ripped empty.
And the food was laid out on the table again.
You know, the engine was in neutral.
And there's a fishing pole out on the deck.
And the fishing line is, the hook is in the rigging under the boat.
These are all the clues we have.
And so they had to do another one of these, like coroner's report things in a situation like this. And the coroner has to write
the most plausible thing for what he thinks happened. And his is that guy gets his fishing
line stuck, falls in the water. The other guy says, oh no, I'll save you. He jumps in the water.
Third guy throws the boat in neutral because two of his friends are in the water. And the mast
swings around and hits him three stooges style, knocking him into the water. And the boat in neutral because two of his friends are in the water. And the mast swings around and hits him Three Stooges style, knocking him into the water.
And the boat cruises off, leaving them all to die.
This doesn't make any sense.
That's what Wendigan said.
He's like, so it needs to be like some sort of slapstick comedy.
You need Moe and Curly to make that work.
Clean out the whole ship.
They're all gone.
What about a methane gas bubble? But that would probably sink the whole ship. They're all gone. What about a methane gas bubble?
That would probably sink the ship too.
If something like that happens,
then maybe that could explain people abandoning
a ship though, right?
But that wasn't the case.
The boat didn't have water in it.
In the case of
one of the instances,
the records were so meticulous
that you could tell the hour that it had happened.
It was like, all right, it happened between 9 a.m. and 10 a.m. on August the 3rd.
Something happened.
Because there's an account from 8 a.m. to 9 a.m. and then 9 a.m. to 10 never happens.
That is bizarre.
It is.
And these make for very creepy stories.
Yeah, he's got. That could be you.
Stories.
He's got.
You could go on a boat with your friends and just disappear.
You don't know.
The ocean is so fucking scary.
And that was.
Scariest.
Like demons are arguably the least scary thing out there because I don't know if demons can
swim.
Sharks can.
Octopus can.
Everything in there that wants to eat you can.
Like the ocean is like a big murder factory.
Like if aquaman
could hear he would just hear constant screaming of everything eating everything else constantly
yeah have you never like read those like excerpts or vignettes from soldiers who were part of like
like a destroyer in the pacific that got sank in world war ii and they're just like hanging out
bobbing for hours and hours waiting for rescue.
And there's like, they have people writing journals,
like some of the soldiers, like, yeah.
And every, you know, every so often
someone just gets torn down.
And it's like, you're just waiting for yourself
to be that.
I don't know how many sharks they were.
500.
Dark eyes, like a door's eyes.
Yeah, yeah. Fucked up shit. That's very interesting though. Oh, and Drifter. Dark eyes like a door's eyes.
Yeah, yeah.
Fucked up shit.
That's very interesting, though.
Oh, and Drifter transitioning seamlessly to the standing desk.
I usually mute and try to do it less noticeably.
The motor can be a little loud.
No, we didn't hear a thing.
No, we didn't hear a thing.
That's the USS Indianapolis, right?
The World War II bomb transporting ship.
It might be.
I don't know many of the U.S. I think they surrendered on the USS Missouri.
There was a USS Connecticut or something that got sank during the war.
I don't know the USSes.
I don't know if I'm making a joke or not.
I'm talking about the boat from the Jaws story.
That's a true story about the boat going down
and the men in the water with the sharks.
That happened.
Well, I'm sure it happened a lot of times throughout history
where a boat goes down and there's sharks.
No, no, no.
The story, the spooky story they tell the night before in Jaws.
Jaws is based on that bull shark or whatever
that swam up the Jersey River
and attacked a few people in that brackish water inland.
They loosely base it on that.
But the story that Quint tells,
they're down below deck drinking, showing off scars, right?
They're laughing it up.
You see this one?
No.
She broke my heart.
And they all laugh it up.
And he's like, what about that one?
What about that one?
And he gets real sober and quiet.
That's a little tattoo I had removed.
What did it say?
Mom.
It said USS Indianapolis.
He's like, you were on the Indianapolis?
Yeah.
And Roy Schneider's like, what happened?
Tell me the story.
And it's just like not a happy story.
They were transporting the fucking bomb.
And the mission was so secret that they never radioed that their boat had been torpedoed because their boat wasn't supposed to be there.
So like 1500 men or something go into the water, burnt badly in oil slicks that are still burning in some cases, covered in oil, shit, blood and death as the ship sinks.
And no one's going to be coming looking
for him for a week or something like that and they're bobbing up and down and the sharks show
up and it's the pacific fucking ocean so there's a lot of them and they ate hundreds of men do you
guys ever arguable how many sharks ate and how many sharks killed but it was a lot of men who were eaten and killed what's the tv show the website
with the gossip i have like tnt in my head but tmz tmz thank you did you see the shark attack on tmz
like this yes this dude just swimming and goes under for a second and then kind of man part of
a body comes back up so on tmz it was a little blurred out yeah yeah and you're floating face down and half your
body's missing odds ain't so great you know i must have seen a blurred version but uh what was
remarkable to me was the blood because i just saw a blurred version and they're like oh my god that
guy's this is shark attack and in my head like if someone's in that much trouble you contemplate
helping but the shark is ripping him apart.
All you can do is give the shark more food.
You can't do anything against a giant shark that's eating a person.
And if you look at the, I'm sure I can picture this.
I haven't seen the video.
I'd love to see this video.
But the amount of blood is like, I imagine you, Woody, as a pro, you would be like, oh, that individual is already dead. I'm not
going in there. That doesn't make sense.
I want to say like a
12-foot diameter circle turned
pink and red. It's insane. It was
outrageous. Even if you do go in, what are you going to do?
I mean, it'd take you 10 minutes to get there
because you move like a turtle in water. And you're going
to rescue a dead body.
You can see it here if you click on this. I don't
think we can show it to the viewers, but
it is outrageous.
If someone's
being attacked by a...
Right?
This isn't a shark attack.
It is a shark attack.
This is a man being eaten. He's very much dead.
This is a shark feeding.
The man's been dead, right?
Well, he wasn't dead till he met the shark this
this doesn't even look like an area this doesn't even look like an area of the beach that you would
swim out to is he a surfer there's no beach there there's no waves to surf like what does he do
right and now look at that look at how quickly all the seagulls descend on his dead corpse to eat him at 36 seconds
you can see how like bloody the water is it's outrageous so you can see like i think what that
is woody is that the shark like surging upward with the body and then like turning back down
you see some sort of something oh that's a big shark eh yeah and like so i was trying to say is like if a person's
getting attacked by a pit bull any one of us could do something right we could hit the pit bull we
could dissuade it from continuing the attack we could probably stop it we could hit it with a
stick like i probably got a multi-tool in my pocket like there are things we could do this shark i
have nothing that catches the shark's attention They're saying at least 13 feet
A 13 foot shark
That's more than twice as tall as me
Yeah they're saying at least 13
Probably heavy too
Probably 4 times my weight
Have you guys ever touched sharks, dolphins
Big water animals, big fish
They're like strong and muscular
Like when they hit you, you just bounce
If you move your hand the wrong way On like a shark muscular like when they hit you you just bounce if you move your hand
the the wrong way on like a shark even like a nurse shark you can feel like just just ancient
scales of armor like you this way totally smooth this way you're like oh no wonder they're so
fucking tough there's just an a layer of like enamel and cartilage or whatever it is surrounding
them it's an 800-foot muscle just moving
through the water.
They're terrifying.
For some reason,
those hippies told us that we couldn't kill
them anymore.
Now there are just so many out there.
That is not true. The sharks are going
extinct. They're saying that not only
are there more sharks now than there
have ever been at any
time in the planet's history this is a pka fact but they're saying that now these sharks because
of the hormones and the people they're eating are a much larger aggressive shark i believe you made
that up no i believe it you know milk is making girls get hit puberty at nine.
And then the sharks are eating, you know, you know, getting puberty.
You know, it all comes full circle.
The reason that wings is in all of this hot water.
And the reason we have these shark attacks is the hormones.
He's a retard.
Okay.
The hormones.
He's a dumbass who has the PR skills of Harvey Weinstein.
No, even Harvey was clever enough to pretend like he was crippled and sick.
Even Harvey pretended to be retarded.
That would have been such a funny thing if Harvey was like,
After being accused, Harvey slipped on the stairs and is now retarded.
Are we going to convict a retarded man for having to put him in a hole in the well, man?
I don't even remember vaping who's the kyle i need help with the name his name is pete something he's on sml he dated kim
kardashian all right so i know the answer and sml okay well yeah it's p's Pete Davidson. SML doesn't exist. No, no, no. Kyle.
Saturday Night Live.
Let's say SML.
Anyway, he has a great story about Louis C.K.
I guess Louis C.K. was on SNL
and
while he was on it,
Pete Davidson smoked weed.
When he goes to
Lauren or something, the guy who's in charge of it.
Lauren Michaels, yeah.
Lauren Michaels and says
this guy should get fired.
He's smoking pot on SNL.
So Lauren Michaels calls
him in and he's like
Pete, were you smoking pot?
And he's like
yes, I always
do. And he's like yeah, always do he's like yeah that's what i thought and the story kind of ends
but when he tells it it's fantastic because louis ck is like a titan at this point and he's like
louis ck is this comedian and he's hosting snl and he's like he's the boss his career is peaking
at this point i'm a new comedian nobody knows me i've
got this little role on snl and i'm trying to break into the business and he's this guy whose
approval you might want trying to break into the business he's on snl well yeah but he's they do
break into there's that's a starting job they make 250 000 a year i think and it might be out of date
yeah but um uh anyway he's like so he's the guy
whose attention you would want he's the guy who who's maybe respect you would value at the time
at the time this is a person who uh who you might look up to at the time and he just kept like
nailing how louis ck uh is no longer so we give louk okay well then i i ended great davidson was cool with a smoking weed
thing but if he's ripping on louis ck he can go fuck himself louis ck i don't know anything about
pete davidson i haven't watched this snl right thing since then but i'm saying started it all
he did was smoke pot on snl and louis ck went to his boss and tried to get him fired. Well, that's Pete Davidson's side of things. Yeah, that is Pete Davidson's side of things, first of all.
And he has butthole eyes.
And Louis C.K. on his worst day is funnier than butthole eyes on his absolute best day.
Go back.
This is a PSA to everyone out there.
All these comedians you think have gotten too soft,
look at Opie and Anthony shows with Louis C.K. from 2008, 2009.
Look at ONA shows with bill burr from 2006 to
2012 or actually 2002 2012 with bill burr look at all of these tremendous comedians and look at
how fucking edgy they were amy schumer was dirty offensive anti-pc she said wild shit on the opiate anthony show back in the day like that's how
people got end up comedy they were hilarious i don't know anything about uh amy schumer's comedy
i haven't watched her stand-ups but like louis burr all these i i'll just fixate on louis because
apparently that's who pete davidson decided to challenge pete davidson is a fucking loser compared to louis ck louis ck is funnier on his on his worst day and ariana
grande i don't give a fuck they're comedians the bar by which they are judged is funniness
oh i'm a comedian the bar in which they judged is who they bone if you uh if you judge a comedian
based on who they're fucking, then they're not funny.
And chicks dig funny guys.
Look at that guy.
Look at how unfunny he is with his AIDS status.
Everybody saw the Suicide Squad, right?
Jim Kardashian and Ariana Grande are after him for his... I liked him in Suicide Squad.
Look at that.
He's posing with what looks to be an exhumed corpse.
That's Machine Gun Kelly, right?
No.
I don't really know.
But that guy's mouth looks fucking photoshopped on.
Alright, well, I've had enough of this.
I don't care.
I'm defending Louis C.K.
Louis C.K. was a funny-ass comedian,
and if Pete Davidson is hunting down Louis C.K.,
no, I'm taking Louis C.K.'s side.
Pete Davidson won. Pete Davidson won. We'll see. comedian and if pete davidson is hunting down louis ck no i'm taking louis ck started your guy
davidson one a pete davidson one we'll see yeah we'll see i guess that's okay i got a new
motorcycle no one is beating down the doors did you say you just got a new motorcycle
this was megan how many do you have now is that six no um i I have... Is it five?
I have three street legal bikes and a dirt bike.
So you could... Some people count the dirt bikes.
What's that come up to?
Well, some people don't count the dirt bikes,
but so three or four.
I have three or four motorcycles.
I count them all.
We're going to say four.
I count the dirt bike too.
To me, it's a motorcycle, but...
Some people,
the people who are addicted to buying motorcycles,
don't count it.
If there's some cocksucker out there that would take issue with Woody
answering the question, how many bikes do you have?
Four.
Actually, that's not road legal.
It starts to make more sense when the dirt bikes
get smaller and they're like pit bikes
or little things without suspension
with a lawnmower engine
like wheels and a motor bike you got a motorcycle well then i have four kyle that's a lot of bikes
you're starting a gang yes uh here's what happened like so all my bikes have like dirt tires on them
which is fine they're street legal but they're they're kind of a hybrid. And I wanted a real road bike, one that could take corners faster and
had smaller tires. And I was going to make a supermoto out of one of my bikes.
And I forget who I was talking to. It might have been Scum, but he was like,
if you can afford another bike, you should do that.
You don't want to have to swap the chain and tires
for changing the purpose of the bike.
Just get another bike.
You'll be happier with that.
And I just happened to update the chain on one of my bikes.
And it took me like half a day.
And I'm like, fuck it.
I'm not fast at this.
I don't want a half a day's work in the heat every time.
It's all right.
I'm looking at classifieds.
And the guy's like, I don't want money.
What do you have as a trade
and I'm like I got
a pickup truck that's been rotting in the
sun for three years
you want it
and he's like yeah so I take it to
the car wash the battery
dead as a doornail
I had it on a battery tender and it still was
fully fully dead but I could jump it
it wouldn't take a charge the alternator wouldn't charge it so i bought him a
new battery ran it through the car wash and i traded the old tacoma for a new motorcycle and
i've been having a blast with what do you have what bike so it is a ktm 500 exe in supermoto
trim it also came with the dirt wheels. Is that the orange?
It is orange.
It is a hooligan bike. It's basically a
scooter that goes 100 miles an hour.
It looks like a motorcycle.
Low-end torque, like a torquey bike
that you could wheelie.
If you just turn it, it wheelies
by accident. It is outrageous
how powerful and
zippy this thing is.
All of my bikes have like 21 inch wheels
yeah that's actually looks a lot like that yeah all of my um all of my bikes have like 21 inch
front tire and i guess 19 in the rear and uh um you know they don't lean and turn and change
direction quite like that zippy little thing so you've got tires like that on there i do yeah
man that's gonna be you're gonna be able to do some slick stuff if you wanted to with dude i'm already driving like an asshole the
first day i took it out i went down like a flight of stairs in front of some store that was closed
down into the i would so was hoping you were about to say some high school kids or something
to show them up yeah no i'm just like driving over curbs, pulling wheelies at like every stoplight in Raleigh.
You're like, oh, what's the ticket?
$150.
Give me two because I got more wheelies.
That's the price of admission.
You're like, that's cheaper than a ticket to Six Flags.
That's more fun than I can imagine for $150.
I'm just driving it like yeah driving it like an
asshole everywhere i go every day i taught my wife to learn to drive it today so
we went last week to the harley davidson dealership we were like what if we get one of
those big bikes you've seen them on the highways where the woman is like elevated and she has arm
rests i was like what if we do that and? That becomes like a weekend vacation for the Woodworths
every now and then. It'd be fun.
And then she got the idea like, what if I
learn to ride a motorcycle too?
And I'm like, well, fuck. We'll try it on
and see how it fits.
I was going to put her on the DRZ, but it
sat too tall, so I put her on this ridiculous
machine that does
wheelies by accident,
but it turns out in the grass
if you turn the retire just slides yeah yeah so uh anyway she can't fuck this up
what could go wrong she did fall twice but um i've got her all in her own like gear and everything
she's all padded and man this is great i. I love this. Is she your lieutenant in the gang?
Woody, do you know
Zach, will you pull up the Pokemon
picture where it's the guy and girl
back-to-back with their arms crossed?
Like wearing their
trainer uniforms? Team Rocket?
Oh my god. Team Rocket with
Jesse and James. You know what's funny?
In the later seasons
jesse uh trained uh hang on a minute i want to watch woody's wife ride a fucking motorcycle here
yeah i want you to like that but when you're motor yeah
leather armor and shit like helmets on and everything where does it my
it used to be when i turned my phone sideways, the image would go.
Anyway, there she is.
There's a setting for that.
If you pull down from the top.
There's a wobble selector.
There's a setting at the top?
Yeah, there's a wobble selector.
Woody, is that your yard?
You have a wonderfully flat, usable
yard. That's great.
We do have a pretty flat yard. It's nice for launching the paramotor too oh i i know that that's true woody but how long before we put in the bmx stuff
in the backyard how long until the rc every every day every day you put the bmx stuff off
is a day you don't have bmx stuff imagine this that is undeniably true i don't have BMX stuff. Imagine this. It's undeniably true. I don't know how much one of those foam pits cost with the foam cubies.
I bet they're too expensive.
That would be wild.
You could do any kind of acrobatic stuff you ever wanted.
That would be awesome.
You could learn to do backflips on a motorcycle safely for, I guarantee, less than $12,000.
I mean, why wouldn't I?
Yeah.
Woody, are you trying to lose money on this deal of foam cubes
that you could put in a pit in your yard?
Think of the property valuation.
Oh, there's a huge pit with rotten foam cubes in it
because it rains here because it's the world.
I don't know how you solve the rain on the cubes scenario.
Just cover it when you're not using it, right?
You would think maybe a big slide over the top, like a swimming pool.
Yeah.
You could just use a swimming pool.
Drain that bitch.
Foam goes in.
But if you miss, you hit concrete.
Yeah, well, the water will fuck up your bike.
You're on a bike while you do this flip.
Are motorcycles waterproof?
No.
No.
What if you take it out real quick no water gets in the carburetor
let's waterproof the motorcycle that's clearly the job but anyway yeah we'll call it a wife
i got a new motorcycle my wife's riding it uh she doesn't have a license or anything she's
riding in the yard and uh she learned to stop and start and go around and i'm having a blast on it
i ride it i'm ridiculously irresponsible and it's a good time.
That's a really good way to learn.
The idea is, so that's like the thing we're trying on to see if it fits.
You know, the idea was she would be my passenger and then she's like, maybe I want a bike.
And I'm like, fuck, that sounds like fun too.
So we'll see where it goes.
That's really fun.
That's very nice that your wife is taking
an interest in that i've experienced something on my own level of nerddom i'm not into bikes
i'm into to weightlifting and archery and that kind of and magic the gathering those are my
main hobbies women repellents just Just an absolute retard.
I am the other side of the magnet with women with those hobbies.
My wife recently
was like, I bought these
they have, it's called Game
Night. It's a magic set that you can buy
offline and it's
there's green, black,
white, red, and blue. Those are the
five colors and it comes with five decks, each one monocolor and then turn down life dice and like other stuff.
And so I bought a set because I have some friends who like want to learn.
And I was playing that with my wife.
We were playing like in person because she was like, you're always playing magic.
Like, I want to learn how to play it and play it with you.
And I was like, first of all, you're awesome for indulging my nonsense in this.
I was like, first of all, you're awesome for indulging my nonsense in this.
And she starts playing and I get her after the physical games into arena. And I download arena on the laptop I bought for and put it on there.
And we start playing on arena.
And it is it is so much fucking fun.
Like she's enjoying it.
I'm enjoying it. I'm enjoying it.
I'm teaching her tactics and strategies.
She'll play a game against someone online with a deck that I built for her
and be like, Taylor, I don't know what to do here.
And I'm like, hmm, it's good you came to me.
Because if you play this card first like you wanted,
you're not going to activate those three triggers.
You want to play this one, then this one to counter a potential thing and then finally the third one she's like okay that kind of makes sense
that kind of makes sense and so like i'm getting all the enjoyment of getting into magic again
with my wife and we're playing all the time like i'm i never thought and i like and it's one of
those things where i'm like are you actually having fun or are you still humoring me like are
you really having fun and then like i realized she was like really having fun when like we were sitting there
and i'm playing magic she's playing magic and i we just have impractical jokers up as the background
thing and i like get up to be like looking behind her like can i just kind of make sure this woman
to be exactly like you beard and all beard and all married dwarven woman i get up to go behind her to like look at
her screen so i can help her because she was working on the color challenges and i was like
so you want to play this and she's like don't don't fucking say anything i need to learn this
i need to know on my own what the right moves are and i'm like okay and like i'd walk behind her to
watch and she would be like don't don't watch me i'm and i'm like okay and like i'd walk behind her to watch and she
would be like don't don't watch me i'm embarrassed i'm embarrassed that you're gonna see me do a move
that you think is stupid and then you'll think that i'm stupid and i'm like no let me help you
you had her where you wanted her all you have to say is you want my wife fucking rules you hug her
and you say you know me so well you kick her from the top of the head
and then you sit across from her and glare.
Just sit across.
Play the fucking card.
And then you have one of those chest timers.
Click.
No.
Because she's trying to figure it out.
I took the time and I built
like seven decks
just from comments. and that's that's
called pauper that's a format it's called pauper you only play with common cards not uncommons not
rares not mythic rares because obviously the rarer a card gets the better it is and so it's a fun
tactic to try and make a car a deck with just commons and so i was playing her with these
commons decks and unfortunately because i'm actually good at magic i made some fucking dope ass commons decks with really good combo replay
like they wouldn't survive in like main match but like against her she was like why are your decks
so much better than mine it's like because yours are one fucking stoned intern for five minutes at
wizards of the coast being like this is a bunch of green
cards put them together and like mine is like i actually built a deck and so i the next step to
get her further into it is i need her to go to the deck builder and take the time to search the cards
to build a coherent strategy because once you've built your first deck independently you you you
you internalize the strategies more and it becomes
more second nature and so i'm i'm having a great time just late at night randomly it's like hey
let's uh let's have some fun and then we can play some magic and it's like oh this rules this is
great like let's just let's just play and then sometimes i'm like no not until after we play
magic 10 times that's your warm-up.
That's what gets you going. But what are you going to do
when she gets really good
and she just starts dominating you
in Magic and she's like, I wear the pants
now and she does the show and has the beard.
She won't. I'm too good at Magic.
She can't be stopped.
I'll go with the other. Taylor
married a wonderful woman and turned
her into him.
Turned her into me. No, she's still
like...
Something I didn't realize, Woody, which you were hiding
this under a bushel basket or
whatever for so long, is that when you get married,
you don't have to worry about
anyone's birthday or
anything to celebrate ever again
because your wife just kind of logs it
yeah and just takes care of that stuff which is very hey what are you getting everyone for
christmas well i got my wife something shiny and everything else was handled on my behalf
and that's great i love those feels let's think of you get a partnership you kind of balance each
other out you have different skill sets you do different things that's kind of stuff and i grade it yeah
uh it's a system that works we have i've said before we have y'all y'all y'all smoke and play
delta eight or you just oh no we we uh we we smoke uh a tremendous amount of delta eight i take a
huge amount of edibles usually and then I'm just ripped to shit
playing whatever
either Magic or sometimes we play
Super Smash. She doesn't like to play Super Smash
that much because she
doesn't know the moves and I just kind of
dominate. But yeah, Delta
8 rocks. It really is like
I've had people in my real life push back
and be like, no, it's not the same. And then
they like have to step back because of the same. And then they have to step back
because of legal stuff. And then they start smoking
Delta-8 and they're like, yeah, it was the
same. You were right. You just have to take
literally twice as much.
So Delta-8 doesn't really do it for me.
But THCO does.
THCO is pretty wild.
I thought you liked Delta-8. That's dangerous shit, bro. That gives people
seizures. Not yet.
What is THCO, Drifter? Can you lay it out? you like delta that's dangerous shit bro that gives people seizures not yet what what is t
good luck oh drifter can you lay it out why uh thc is thc delta i forget the delta but it's an
acetate they add an acetate molecule to it which i don't remember the details it changes how it's
absorbed in both your bloodstream and in your brain and there's blah blah blah math basically thco is roughly twice the strength
of regular like california weed and a lot of people like it it also tends to be more hallucinogenic
which is super fun but at least in the state of oklahoma they had a series of people having
seizures from it because i i guess it was too strong or something a bunch of pussies
i have somebody gave me a shit ton of it for free,
and I was too afraid to even try it
because it seems unhealthy.
Isn't THC like a natural?
I can just mail it.
THC is a natural seizure suppressant.
Say that again?
It's supposed to be.
I don't know why it does that.
THC is supposed to suppress potential seizures.
But if you want free
cannabis i'll give you a tip all you need to do is upload a weed video not long after the octoberish
appearance i posted a tour of a cannabis farm where we did the whole thing it was like 40 minutes of
like me and this whole like endless field of weed or whatever and it's like 700 000 views and all
these companies they just like google people that are making weed videos. And I get emails all the time.
Hey,
do you want to try my products?
Hey,
do you want to try my products?
Hey,
we got a Delta eight and it's pretty much just like,
yes,
yes,
yes,
yes,
yes.
And now I have this literal like basket of Delta eight.
I can carry around the house with everything that you can imagine.
It is.
Let's,
is there a way we could pivot the podcast into getting Kyle and I a bunch of
legal. Is there a way we could pivot the podcast into getting Kyle and I a bunch of free legal?
I was just imagining sort of a situation where we would just we'll talk about this later.
Don't give away any good ideas sponsor or pivoting off of that in a weird way.
Delta eight fixed my back recently.
So you may know it's spines broken, two pieces, not super comfortable.
I do a lot of core work to mostly hold myself up with the ab muscles.
They're not anything impressive.
It's unfixable.
What does that mean?
That means that the surgery you do to get it fixed has a much higher chance of failing
than helping.
So it's smarter, especially since i'm younger and relatively okay
to build muscles instead but that's not really the point bad back whatever uh did a bunch of
delta eight with my wife very much so like what you were talking about taylor we did a lot of that
and we played video games while i have no some adult swim shit was on tv that was my night and
then we moved on to other adult activities. And as a guy with
a store back, yeah, I have to be a little bit more careful. We got to pick our positions a
little bit, you know, tactically, but I'm highest. Fuck, I am lit. I'm not thinking about anything
of that. I'm just jumping on there like I'm 19 and like, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang,
bang. It's kind of dangerous given the problem. And midway in, I do it and I feel a pop.
And I'm like, oh, shit, because I can feel it in the vertebrae that's not so well connected.
And I'm like, oh, God.
Oh, I'm like having a fucking anxiety attack.
And I'm like, well, it's not hurting.
Might hurt like a motherfucker in the morning.
This might be my last time for a while.
Better go here.
And, you know, just pass out like that weed hanger.
We're just like dead. Wake up in the morning. and the first thing i remember is like oh fuck i had rough sex last
night and i popped my back so i'm like getting out of bed like really cautiously with like all
the little support handles and i'm like okay it doesn't hurt like weird and like move around i'm
like wow that actually feels kind of good back there you bend over stand up do a squat i'm like
wow i think that's like way better than yesterday what the fuck did i do i think i literally yeah i fucked it back into
place i was super happy with that and i say that is marijuana not marijuana it's delta doing its
job yeah that's medical i'm first of all it's great that you fucked your back back into place oh it's lovely best way to do it kyle you were you liked delta eight for a bit until you were like this isn't well i discovered
there's something stronger well it was never but is dealt is dealt is thco is it the same feeling
i'll get from delta eight and regular weed because that's what i like about delta eight yeah is it
gives me the same relaxation as regular weed. I don't mind
that it takes twice as much to get to the same level
because it's the same sensation.
Like THCO,
I don't want to feel like fucking neurotic
or like really energized or something
on it. You get like really, really itchy
but it's mostly your eyeballs
so you can't scratch them.
This is so fun.
You're not going to scratch your eyeballs unless you do too much
and then you go like crazy at them but just don't you don't do too much just
do a reasonable amount of thco no it feels exactly like marijuana um it's just it's just you need way
less of it than delta then like delta a and it's you know it's all cheap like like i uh i i order
it from that uh that website where you could it's like 50 cents a gram or something like that it's so goddamn cheap what's your standard dose what do you what do you take i i've been using like
mostly these vape pens like this is actually from my gas station this is from the website this is
called canna beast c-a-n-n-i-v-e-a-s-t canna beast.com and i've got the uh what is this
fucking acapulco gold acapulco Gold.
Acapulco Gold.
They even spell cannabis with an I instead of an A.
It's like cannabis. It's not the same.
Yeah.
The girl at the gas station, she's like,
we have Delta 8 and 1.5.
I'm just like, no, I want the THCO.
Why is the girl
at your gas station talking to you
in this way?
Does the hallucination part of it work?
It's supposed to be more psychoactive?
Does it make you see things?
Fuck no.
That's a shame. I love that shit.
I've done a lot of acid before,
and I saw things there,
but even then, you're seeing things alter themselves.
You're seeing clouds pulsate or breathe,
or colors expand and shrink and stuff. seeing things alter themselves you're seeing like clouds like pulsate or breathe um or like colors
sort of expand and shrink and stuff you're not seeing like a fucking pink midget dance into the
room or all right that's fine yeah never anybody wants that i would love that but but if a pink
leprechaun came in he was like oh and like like had some gold and had to chase him around for
half an hour that'd be the best drug in the world.
I don't know what I'd say.
I,
if they were like,
it's a thousand dollars a hit,
I'd be like,
how long does it last?
You've definitely done the most for that.
Have you ever had synesthesia from cannabis or Delta eight or THC?
I don't know what that is.
That's where you can like your senses get mixed up.
You can hear things visually.
You can taste sounds and stuff like that.
No.
It's where your brain doesn't interpret input correctly.
And so seeing blue might make you taste something.
Or feeling something might make you imagine.
I'll tell you what.
If I ever taste blue,
then I'm going to reevaluate this whole Delta 8 thing.
No, it's not that you're tasting blue.
It's that seeing blue triggers something
that makes you taste potentially something else.
So it could be water and oil.
I refuse to draw a distinction between what I said
and what you said.
They're both ridiculous things.
Yeah, one was retarded, one was well thought out.
Same thing. I'm just curious. That's something that happens to me when i get
really high and very infrequently that'll happen and i can like
taste a sound or something that's really weird but i think it's kind of fun it's not harmful
or scary it's kind of like you know uh what was a sound that you tasted and what was the sound
and what did it taste like um a creaky door a little bit less
of a flavor felt like a potato chips like i was crunching on something in my mouth because i think
it was creaking and my brain was interpreting that as more of a crunch uh certain flavors would
translate to like skin tactile sensations and interesting the biggest one was that sound would
come out a little bit more
visually like if i hear certain musics and whatever that i could i started seeing like a
lot of multi-color triangles and stuff but each little beat was a little different and wait i'm
curious about the sound thing so it was this at the same time period that you were experiencing
that much more mild synesthesia or was it oh uh like the the other
kind you were talking about where you might taste a chip i think i mean it all happens at kind of
the same time interesting uh it's not super intense or insane or anything it's just really
neato it's like a it's like a neat sensation that you don't normally get so it's been fun
no i guess most people would never experience that because like and and it sounds like a neat sensation that you don't normally get so it's been fun no i guess most people would
never experience that because like and and it sounds like something that like before we understood
the science of the brain people would be like that's bullshit you're making stuff up that's
nonsense but because we know the different areas of the brain associated with different
tendencies and feelings and sensations like it is weird that you could have a sensation on your tongue triggered by your eye.
So like I got I got a good one.
I watched a YouTube video about this.
I can't recall what it is, but it's when someone has no sense of fear.
They can't experience fear.
And it's because a certain part of your brain gets damaged.
It doesn't really matter.
So there's there's a handful of people who have this situation.
And there's this one woman that was part of the study.
And she had never in her life experienced fear because that part of her brain had been destroyed.
I don't remember why.
Maybe a virus or something or a fever.
In any case, someone would come up to her and say, give me all your money.
And she'd be like, how dare you pull that knife on me?
I'll beat you up.
Just not afraid at all.
Just sort of insulted rather.
There's no fear.
She doesn't know what experience she never had.
And,
um,
they were trying to determine where fear comes from in the brain.
And obviously because she has this part of her brain destroyed,
she can't experience fear.
So they were trying to find out if there was a more primordial fear.
What is the,
the most base of fears?
What is the,
the,
the first fear? And, uh And it turns out that it's-
Probably loneliness.
It's high concentrations of carbon dioxide in the blood from an external source. So that could mean
drowning. That could mean exposure to carbon dioxide gas. So what they did is they took this woman who had never experienced pain,
fear ever in her life. And they gave her increasingly large amounts of carbon dioxide
gas and the parts of her brain that and the parts of her old brain parts in her brainstem
that would process fear in a different kind of animal fired. And she was terrified for the first time in her
life by the sensation
of having low, high carbon dioxide
in her blood because that old reptile
brain is saying we're dying.
So basically, she got to the point.
Waterboarding is another way to trigger that same
fear. Waterboarding for
science. So she has her whole brain
in function and then they start to inhibit
oxygen with the co2 and so it shuts down the least important parts of the brain first what you know
parietal occipital frontal uh that's not what was happening here and then it gets to the hind brain
which is the reptilian brain which has no impulse to give you other than i'm hungry i want to fuck
and i want to sleep
the area of the brain i'm scared no so the area that's causing the fear is theorized to be part
of like like the brain stem or the old part of the brain but but but it has nothing to do with
like um you know the other parts of the brain shutting down simply the high levels of carbon
dioxide caused a fear response like immediately even though her like amygdala obviously like was less
responsive because of the lack whatever that part of her brain is that causes fear doesn't exist
like when you look at a scan it's a thing it's the amygdala isn't that what there's like there
were like two lobes like all for stress and so they showed an mri or a ct scan or whatever and
there was like two dark spots that were symmetrically placed sort of in the frontal
part of the brain.
And they were like, this is the fear sector.
They're black.
They should be white.
They're gone.
Like she can't experience fear.
And they did.
Did this help?
Did she experience fear again afterward?
Because, you know, the brain can rewire and relearn things sometimes.
No, the only.
No, they.
But they did do this experiment to other people who had the same.
They didn't sense where they couldn't experience fear and they had the same results.
They could frighten them with it.
But the core concept of the whole video was what's the, you know, the scariest thing. And so, like, they came to the conclusion that, like, the scariest thing is that it's uncontrollable, high levels of carbon dioxide in your blood from an uncontrollable external force.
But that is a chemical change to manufacture a situation in which chemically you are scared.
It didn't find out what is the actual scariest thing to be confronted with, you know?
No, no.
I think that's clowns.
Our brain is afraid of drowning.
Our brain is afraid of suffocating at a at a at an older part
of itself and and if you simulate that um then then it just fires regardless of whether you're
drowning or not that's why waterboarding like like woody mentioned is so effective like you're
we goofed around with that i certainly wouldn't say i've been waterboarded but like we strapped
me a chair turned it upside down and poured water on a rag into my mouth for maybe 20 seconds or something and i fucking hated it it was awful i've heard that what you think works doesn't like
20 seconds i think i can hold my breath for 20 seconds right full-on hold nose mouth closed 20
seconds i've got that yeah why is it that waterboarding fucks people up in like five
seconds what if um you're you're it's uh it's going into
your nose so and because your nose and your mouth are connected like your mouth and that backwards
throat starts to fill up as a swimmer right you're upside down sometimes like uncomfortable in this
way i exhale very slowly through my nose and that just keeps the bubble keeps everything
traveling in the right direction.
Maybe you guys have done this too, right? Where you're upside down
underwater and I exhale
slowly through my nose and it's not a problem.
Taylor grew up with a pool. He knows the scoop
probably. Why doesn't that work
waterboarding? So they take that rag and
put it over your nose and mouth and hold it pretty tightly
so you can't really get rid of the
excess water that's in there
in a quick and faster
than they're adding it back there's always like you're always three quarters of the way to drowning
you can get enough out to get a gasp in and then it's kind of filling up to the brink again and
like even if you started with if you started holding your breath you've got 20 seconds of
fuck you buddy unless they punch you in the stomach right and then it's like i might actually die now and then you're like gasping a little bit and like apparently like you know like the
jackass guys used to say like the best bit is one that hurts a lot and looks like it doesn't hurt
waterboarding is the opposite it looks like nothing a walk in the park but everyone who's
experienced it says that it is the most grueling i can't breathe
like i'm inhaling water my lungs are now heavy they're not working the same and so you guys are
young for this ish but there was a time when there was a national debate over whether or not water
boarding was even torture right it was okay so you get people who really sort of stake their claim
and their reputation on the idea that waterboarding
is not that big a deal it's not torture and it's certainly not true that it doesn't seem to damage
people it just yeah we may have even taken that position on this show because i know we've debated
before could be yeah and then these like pneumonia i guess what i'm trying to say without saying it
is like right wing radio hosts and tv hosts would say that it's not a big deal.
They get waterboarded and in
seconds turned around.
I can't remember
the names of who it was.
I think Hannity was one of them.
That's what I was thinking.
Rush at the time
would have died if he tripped.
Sean Hannity
said he would in a debate. He's like it i'll do it and then like i can't
remember who it was but they'll be like it is now day 12 573 since sean hannity said he would get
waterboarded next week this is gonna upset a lot of people but sean hannity is a retard and i don't
like him i don't think that upsets that many people.
I know, that's the joke.
Like, everybody hates this guy.
Yeah.
You ever listen to his show?
No, never.
Only on Fox.
His radio show.
Do you guys watch the news?
I don't watch the news.
I listen to news radio, or if you can call it that.
I listen to conservative.
The Joe Rogan show?
I listen to conservative talk radio when it's on
because I find it to be very
fascinating.
They're the most popular
guys in front of microphones in the world.
Conservative talk radio
guys, you don't hear
about it. Nobody goes,
Rush Limbaugh hits 13
million concurrent this week. Let's all
clap for him.
He's dead.
You said they're the most popular people in front of a microphone in the world. That might be Joe Rogan. current this week. Let's all fucking clap for him. He's dead. He is dead.
The most popular people in front of a microphone in the world.
That might be Joe Rogan.
Well, he's lumped in with them.
Joe Rogan is like the eternally
curious.
The hard conservative right. Joe Rogan, Sean Hannity,
Mark Levin.
Joe Rogan, that hard right
winger. Right, the guy who's for
gay rights. And Joe Rogan who's like
clips of him being like,
yeah, I'd fuck a trans person, who cares?
As long as he's mad.
He lets looming people on his show
say whatever.
Dude, there's nothing I hate more than what radio
hosts let guest talk interrupted.
Fucking hate it. It needs to be curated
so I can know what to believe.
Thank you, Taylor. who should curate it um no i like sean hannity has a very good radio show um he he'll present you with facts and he'll present you with experts that are like you know
experts in their field and and then he'll leave it up to you he doesn't do i haven't heard him do
that anti-mask nonsense.
I have seen him hawk his vitamins, but he's always like –
What kind of vitamins is he selling?
Like immune support or something like that.
But his thing is like –
Is it real shit or is it like actually immune?
I think it's like a shitload of vitamin C.
Like D3 and zinc and –
I think it's a shitload of vitamin C and stuff.
But he also talks about like everything, right?
Like I think he's former like clergy. I want to say like he was a priest in his younger years like okay so he's
gay too look i i don't know when i listen to that guy he seems very intelligent to me it just seems
like i don't agree you're talking about listen have you ever listened to a show i've never
listened to him why are you like you are sean like yeah yeah that he did go to
says he went to seminary
school is he a lot different that's what i show than he is on his tv show uh i think he's more
extreme um and more willing to like dog whistle and uh it's kind of fun because he has like sidebar
with um like his like engineer this woman who's there who doesn't get a lot of mic time, but she's kind of there to,
for him to bounce his ideas off of like,
you believe this,
you believe what they're saying now.
Yeah,
that's right.
These guys,
he's,
you know,
he's,
he's definitely,
I like listening to a rhetorical observer.
The rhetorical observer is amazing when you're talking about something like
trans teen athletes,
for example,
something that,
that we all fall on the right side of that little
Venn diagram, right?
They were like, yeah, I don't know.
It seems like women's athletics kind of ends if we allow trans athletes to compete against
them because there's no-
Just make a trans league.
Boom.
Problem solved for everybody.
Well, then there's like two athletes, right?
I don't care.
Then the worst you can do is silver.
See, I told you people, you didn't believe me. Separate but equal Taylor, right? I don't care. Then the worst you can do is silver. I told you people you didn't believe me. Separate but equal
Taylor.
Well played.
That is very well played.
Comedy comes in threes
and so does bigotry.
Why not a non-general Taylor?
The third right.
For a reason.
Not the fourth, not reason. Not the Fourth.
Not the Second. The Third.
Nazis. You never hear anything about the Second Reich. That must have been a
colossal failure.
I think it lasted a lot longer than the Third one.
Oh, well, don't correct.
I want to say
the tagline was like, you know,
a Reich to last a thousand years.
For the Third Reich. years for the third right
or for the second uh whenever i see that footage of that big nazi swastika exploding on the building
it like i always thought of that as like like cgi for some reason like it looks like such a fake
explosion when they do it but it just really looks like that it's a it looks like something i don't know animated if you i remember like learning about
world war ii and being so like the only thing i took away from it was that every country had
different kinds of tanks and all the tanks had advantages and disadvantages and so i got really
into tanks for a while when i was like 10 what's your your favorite tank? Well, I like the Tiger. I like the Russian Tiger
because it basically was...
That's a...
No, no, no.
It was the tactics they used with it
because the only reason that the Tiger
on the USSR side was able to even compete
with the German Panzer
was because they brought so many.
And the meme is always,
oh, it's the US with the Shermans that brought so many and the meme is always oh it's the u.s with
the shermans that brought so many the russians did the same thing and the t2 tiger tank had yeah
that's what i was thinking we got a fact check live here uh tiger tanks are german i was trying
to say that from the very beginning but um what's the big one what's the giant ussr oh oh go no no
well what you want to go to the is the uh the mouse
uh but it's like however you spelled mouse in german like like e34 i was saying t22 or some
shit the t34 soviet tank that was the big one where you did you ever play that company of um
company of heroes the the game where you move the squads around the rts game
yeah i mean you and I played it together.
I probably remember that's you that played that with us back then.
Did you play that with us where you could move the tanks around?
It was an RTS with tanks and squads and machine gunners.
You're talking about Red Alert, right?
Maybe.
That was a great game.
I haven't played that in a while.
I've been playing so much Tarkov, but I could be lured away.
Tarkov needs tanks.
Tarkov does.
Tarkov's getting APC soon, right?
The scab boss on the next map's rolling around on an APC.
They'll have tanks before you know it at this rate, right?
I hate tanks in a game.
I hate it when, like,
oh, the way to do well in this game is to get in the tank,
and then you can kill all the people who are on foot
and pretend you're good.
Wouldn't it be fine if they gave the tank enough downside
that one subversive person could throw a bomb on it?
We were playing a game recently.
We were playing a tank game a while back.
I didn't care for it, but everybody else was down.
We were three or four men controlling a tank,
and everybody had a job, so it was kind of neat.
One guy's driving, obviously, and one guy's on the coaxial machine gun,
like the little one, and then somebody's on the main gun.
And then we may have even had a fourth in there as our spotter
who's just all the time just looking.
And he's like, oh, fucking 3 o'clock, fucking 3 o'clock, like on foot.
And the coax spins around. They're chopping guys down.
And working as a team like that,
because in that game, it was
really well balanced. It seemed like it was hard
to use a tank. The guys
who had rocket launchers in the woods, it'd be hard
to spot them.
Battlefield did that when they added
tanks, right? They made them really hard
to control.
Battlefield is kind of dead right now. Is it? tanks right like they made them really hard to control as i played battle games i didn't need
kind of dead right now so is it battlefield 2077 was a massive flop and yeah in a lot of ways a lot
of ways yeah 2040 2042 whatever 27 it just i just didn't they go free to play or they're considering
it or something yeah yeah that's the idea oh good, because I saw this video and look, I don't play Battlefield at all.
I haven't played since Bad Company 2, which was a great game.
But they showed like a comparison between the previous entry in the series.
Was it like 1942 or maybe a World War II?
It was World War II and then Battlefield 4 from 2013.
Okay. Well, they showed
things like sprint animations, like gun
inspect animations, like mag
check stuff.
There were so many steps backwards
on the fine details of the game
that you had to imagine that the broad strokes
were cheaped out on as well. So many
copy paste, but poor copy paste.
And so many just step backwards. It's like when you used to pull an empty magazine out of your weapon
it would appear empty there wouldn't be any rounds in it now there are rounds in it it's like
look come on like i'm i hate nitpick but this is a triple a title like and you had already like
figured this out like you took a step backwards you took a step backwards i would have liked if
you step took a step forward and like maybe a step backwards. I would have liked it if you took a step forward and maybe there were
scratches there because bullets had been in it
or something. Add more detail, not less.
Tarkov is
getting more and more detailed every
time they put a little patch in.
It's getting so...
The game, every patch,
it seems like the game slows down a little and becomes
a little bit more tactical and
difficult to play. T tarkov's crazy that i don't know if another game will ever match it
in its level of detail and gunplay and realism and like what they do with ballistics what they
you said you check to see if your magazine's empty right in tarkov you don't just see if
there's bullets every bullet looks different
people who know the game better than me look at what the bullet looks like externally in their
magazine to know what is loaded in this thing like if i take someone else's gun i'll look at it and
see the mags uh it tarkov is super the uh like i was watching willers play today and I subscribed and I chatted
with him for a minute there while he played. He's a really
nice guy. He mentioned you. He said that you guys have played
before. Yeah, he carried me
through a kill scat.
Dude, so
it might have been
bullshit. I had to kill like 10
scavs with like out armor or something
like that. And I'm on woods
because I do kind of well getting scavs there. If or something like that. I'm on woods because I do
kind of well getting scavs there. If I go
through the woods, it's pretty common.
I can get four or five scavs
on my own just playing solo and survive.
Willers is like,
what, you need 12? That should be no problem.
He is just
finding everything for
me, taking me around.
He knows where they are. if it's a pmc he
handles it for me he he carried me through that um quite nice he's he's he's the best movement
guy and all tarkov he is a parkour master he is he's one of the few players who can make this
so this game's movement feels sluggish it feels um cumbersome you can feel like a boat moving in
the water sometimes,
especially when overloaded.
And when Willard's plays, he's playing so slick.
He's like a parkour game or something.
He's sliding down rails and tucking into windows
and phasing through windows that you didn't think.
It's outrageous.
He's jumping on top of shipping containers and stuff
that you didn't think you could get on top of.
Boing, boing, boing.
It's great. top of shipping containers and stuff that you didn't think you could get on boing boing like i might maybe i could like get on top of the shipping container if i try it repeatedly and
i'm not under pressure and i get a chance to you know and it's like three jumps just to do the hard
jump so you know but him he does it in the heat of battle hitting this stuff like like it's nothing
yeah and and like i've literally seen him jump on top of people's heads,
and they're confused as to what's happening.
He's got a good.
He's got my favorite thing about him, though.
It isn't how good he is at the game.
It's his sort of like entire attitude about streaming, being online,
and how to handle that.
He is a really chill guy.
He always just says, you know,
GG, and like the
chat will get toxic or whatever. He'll be like, hey,
hey. He played the game
same as I did. He came in the raid, he risked
his gear, he played his game and I played
mine, and guess who's dead? Me.
Get over it. I don't care.
Why should you? Don't go to his chat and
bother him. Oh, he's talking shit?
Hey, people cope with stuff differently,
right? He just lost a gunfight. It sucks.
I know how that is. GG to him.
Don't go over there and bother him. Let's have
fun. And I'm just like, damn, this guy's positive.
This is good shit. It's really
good stuff. I like
Anton's vibe a lot.
He interacts with his chat a ton and uh it's
often fun and i when i first streamed tarkov would like throw a temper tantrum when i died
yeah then i watched better tarkov streamers not do that and do that and i'm like man
i gotta be like these guys i gotta be chill i gotta relax i do not like watching people
throw a temper tantrum and i think in my fucked up head was almost trying to convince people that this doesn't happen
all the time you know like oh this is very upsetting for me can you believe i died so so so
like i i play for like a handful of people in like the discord some of them have no idea what the
game is so when like i went in like wiped out like a full five man squad and then two
or three more players and like in sequence and i was like this was my best game ever you should
know um i've never done anything like this especially that part where i screamed at them
you're all going to die this doesn't usually happen this was an all-star moment for me just
so we all are clear but then later on like when i completely fuck up i'm like you see what happened there was i thought i knew how to throw grenades i like i don't know what stream i was watching a
streamer the other day i can't remember which one it was but it was one of the big tarkov streamers
a guy with five six ten thousand hours or something and they were like why don't you
bring grenades he's like i don't trust myself to throw grenades it's like this guy has literally played this game like like he's halfway to that
10 000 hour thing he's had enough air against him with grenades to know it's not his jam like he
doesn't think that he's good enough at the game to use frag grenades and i was like fuck this game
i mean if he's not good enough you clearly clearly aren't. No, no, definitely not. Definitely not.
I kill myself with grenades a lot.
I did it very recently.
Yeah.
And sometimes grenades don't do what the game shows you.
So, like, I saw Larry threw a grenade.
And what you do is you yell, bad nade, bad nade,
if it doesn't go like you meant it to.
Yeah.
And that means everyone knows.
Shit, bad nades happen to all of us. Get out of here. There's a nade about bad nade. If it doesn't go like you meant it to. And that means everyone knows. Shit, bad nades happen to all of us.
Get out of here.
There's a nade about near our feet.
On my screen, it was a good nade for a second.
For a second, I saw the nade go out the window and everything was fine.
So I'm like, Larry's mistaken.
It wasn't a bad nade.
And then the nade comes back through the window and it's at my feet and i die and it's like fuck i should have listened to him he told me it was a bad need i thought i knew
better because i saw better tarkov man was that a glitch yeah yeah oh yeah yeah the game is you
know it's a game that's been in development this whole time and there are pros and cons to that
people shit on that and i don't like it well i mean there's a very big pro to as a developer saying a game is always in development because then
you're above reproach see that's one way to look at it but but these guys aren't above
reproach that they they take part in like community podcasts which discuss the state
of the game and where they want it to go and stuff they're pretty transparent about that
and i appreciate it uh there's they know it's a work in. They're pretty transparent about that. And I appreciate it. Uh, there's,
they know it's a work in progress and it is.
And so you kind of have to like take the bad with the good,
I guess.
But the good part of that is like,
unlike a game like this most recent battlefield game where they're scrambling
and like,
maybe we just make it free.
Huh?
Like Tarkov can make,
had have a bad patch where they like break the fucking game.
And it's like,
don't worry.
We'll fix it in like a week or two. Like we'll get you soon uh you know we'll you know like we'll fix it as soon
as we can you know we broke the game don't worry we'll fix it and when it comes back it's better
it's interesting you're saying that but like also anyone who is super into a game will say like oh
yeah after a week it's all good like don't even like it's all gonna be fine oh i
will not tell you that about tarkov tarkov has i started playing like two or three years ago
it was a fucking shit show it it was so terribly optimized fair enough so many issues i'm still
playing the same game they've improved all of those terrible things about 30 it's about 30
better across the board it's still poorly optimized
but i get 90 to 115 frames i can play on 90 to 115 i'm playing in 2k um it's it's still like
glitchy but the servers are pretty decent i haven't disconnected in months like maybe three
times this wipe i've like disconnected and been like, what the fuck? What do we do? Reconnect, reconnect.
That used to happen so much.
And this is a game where fuck, that can be punishing.
There could be an instance where you
were the best you and you shit on
everybody and you took your time
taking the magical bullets out of their
fucking clips so you could stick them in your
asshole and you just piled money on
top of money and you're trucking it out
and then the game disconnects and you're like
I only have 60 more seconds before the game
is over I have to get out and you don't have 60 more seconds
to like fucking reconnect
you can get fucked you get Tarkov'd as they say
like that where it doesn't matter how good you
are or anything the game just says
no
yeah
it's addictive as fuck
having a great time having a great time as always
having a great time so check out tarkov if you're interested in
no check out uh i can lock and load buy some girls girl uh check out uh check out drifter
and uh and whatever his endeavors may be right now anything
you want to plug drifter uh just my twitter i do a lot of twitter videos uh probably more on twitter
than on youtube so i'm very active there at drifter with a zero right yeah same i'm just
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