Painkiller Already - PKA 583 W/Drift0r - Redemption of Wings, Woody’s New Bike, Woody ASMR

Episode Date: February 19, 2022

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Starting point is 00:00:00 pka 583 with our guest drifter taylor this episode of pka brought to you by blue chew feels cbd and of course lock and load you can find all those links below code pka for 20 off the lock and load product and all the other uh gorilla mind stuff drifter thank you so much for rejoining us so i was over at your channel today getting the kind of feel for what's up with you and everyone who watched the previous episodes, which I'm sure as most people know that you were going through some serious like endocrine system hormone problems, and you seem to be out of the woods. Is that correct? I hope so. I'm definitely a lot better than where I was. I have no more answers than I
Starting point is 00:00:39 had then, despite a disgusting amount of medical tests, including a very expensive full genetic breakdown. The doctors wanted to see if I was an intersexed individual. So that was really fun. then despite a disgusting amount of medical tests including a very expensive full genetic breakdown the doctors wanted to see if i was an intersexed individual so that was really fun no no i was actually perfectly normal did you get it like it's a prize it's like a prize yeah no um it's been wild it's spread to my hands and arms and they've more recently come back the issue these days is not the overall quality but some unpredictability They're just bad days here and there. And nobody knows what's going on. I've done every reasonable sane thing anybody recommended, and it went pretty much nowhere. So I've moved away from all of that. And I'm just decided I'm going to live with whatever's happening or it's going to kill me, but I can't waste all of my free time hunting down medical mysteries because that's just doing testosterone.
Starting point is 00:01:25 You did that for a bit, right? I did not. I tried almost everything else because the purpose behind it was to do things to my endocrine system to see how it would respond. So if it responded interestingly, we've learned something. And I did. I have no I've lost track of how many different things they made me do. And we got nothing interesting whatsoever. well that sucks so you're feeling good now is it like a physical feeling good or is it like a mental like i'm not dealing with this shit
Starting point is 00:01:55 anymore i'm just gonna ignore it a little bit of both a little bit of both i mean obviously when you're not feeling like shit all the time it's easier to be normal have normal thoughts do normal things yeah well that's good i mean it seems like you're in a much much better place two times ago when you were on you're like yeah i wake up in cold sweats and i can't eat and my and my tits hurt and my oh yeah it was all sorts of crazy crazy stuff uh the big one was that whatever happened uh made my hands kind of paralyzy for a little bit but they're back to relatively normal now so hopefully uh maybe within a week or two, I can go back to playing games, first person shooters, though I don't think I can necessarily go back to being the man I was. And I think a lot of you
Starting point is 00:02:33 are very familiar with this. When you step away from the YouTube space for a long period of time, you can't just come back and refill your old shoes. Somebody else has already filled them. The audience has moved on. People see you differently and may not even just generally have a desire to so i'm gonna have to transition from a nerdy analytical cod stat guy to a broader gaming youtuber or perhaps even a much weirder youtuber we're doing a lot of marijuana content on the channel which has been fun so your hands were so paralyzed you couldn't like do x? I had difficulty wiping my ass. I couldn't eat dinner unless I had a baby fork. I couldn't even use chopsticks.
Starting point is 00:03:10 Thankfully, he's hairless. Well, lots of people can't use chopsticks. Yeah, chopsticks thing, I got that too. It's been weird, but that's kind of a dead horse I no longer desire to beat into the ground. I'm just trying to live with whatever in the world is going on and move on with my life. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:03:25 Well, good. I'm glad to hear it, man. And how's the shadow people? Have you been, how are they? The true question. Very little. I think I saw one shadow person very briefly a couple of months ago. So my office, the door is kind of right over here, just off camera.
Starting point is 00:03:44 And I was just sitting here doing my thing. And I saw a door is kind of right over here, just off camera. And I was just sitting here doing my thing. And I saw a humanoid kind of shadow walk by. I looked at it and I looked down at the dog and the dog didn't look. And I was like, well, that's probably not real. And I kind of went back to my editing. That's not too bad. No, it's not. It's not. Let's hope that dog hasn't gotten used to the intruder living in your home. No, I've always had to rely on pets for a little, a little gauge of reality if you hear a weird noise or see a weird thing. Is the dog interested in it? If the dog's not interested, it's probably all up here. You've got a whole canary in the coal mine thing going on for your
Starting point is 00:04:15 hallucinations. Yeah, pretty much, pretty much. Those are extremely infrequent as an adult. As a kid and a teenager, not so much. As an adult, very managed. Yeah, mine are very infrequent. I had none. And then, you know, we're hoping it stays that way. But you never know. Dude, this is just the other night. Like, I had just watched. I watch a lot of, like, campy, shitty horror movies late at night.
Starting point is 00:04:39 I enjoy them. I really, I like them. But, like, you still, like, if there's a ghoulish face or something, it might stick out to you. And, like, I don't really get spooked too much. It just holds my attention. And I was going to bed and like, I was looking at, you know, those like side, like taller windows
Starting point is 00:04:53 that are to the side of your door. Yeah. Kind of see through. I was walking down my hall and I looked and I saw like an angle off of it that looked like the same ghoulish face of that, of that got like monster from the movie and i was like i like didn't respond but i felt my heart rate go like and then i like looked a
Starting point is 00:05:13 little closer and it was like oh that's a that's the light oh tricks and then i went to bed i can't imagine spending the rest of the night with what you did where you're like it's probably not a demon probably it's almost certainly not a demon so this i like i think this is a thing that men do and women don't do when they see something scary at night because i've always do the same thing and i don't know why when i see something that i don't know what it is and like the dark i freeze and i stare i don't want to let whatever it is know that i'm afraid yes and but what it really is is i'm i'm computing in my mind i'm like my mind is like taking that smudgy figure I see and like you know like fucking
Starting point is 00:05:48 moving around trying to figure out like like coat rack coat rack yep it's a hoodie on a it's a hoodie on a chair hoodie on a chair okay on a chair with a demon mask next to it that's not my mask oh no you gotta figure that out right like real quick but I've noticed when my girlfriend would see
Starting point is 00:06:03 something scary it's always and run like I think it's always, and run. I think it's the difference between fight or flight. Not that I'm down to do combat with a demon. I want to run too, but it's just not my first inclination. I'm always just like, you know how a dog will do that instinctive pointer thing where they all stick their tails out? I think there's something like that with us too.
Starting point is 00:06:24 I think maybe so. I hate these things. Hunting instinct, investigation, evolutionarily just built in at defaults to most men. Also a desire to know what the fuck is going on. Cause if something is actually wrong, it would be best to know what is actually wrong instead of,
Starting point is 00:06:39 ah, I'll just go to bed and not think about it. I saw this, I saw this really cool thing on YouTube and they were, um, what they did was they, they, uh, they take these blurred images of animals and they show them to people. And at first, it's so blurred, it's just a jumble of nonsense. And eventually, it's a clear picture of what's being shown.
Starting point is 00:06:55 And on frame three, people can identify the snake. Because our ancestors, the primates that we evolved from, the simians, were so keyed in to evolving the ability to pick out snakes in their environment. They were such a problem. And they said that the eyesight in Asian and African simians was especially acute because those were the ones that did evolve alongside snakes, whereas the primates from, I can't remember the other region that they pointed out, but those guys didn't have any snakes. Oh, it was
Starting point is 00:07:28 those little fucking cute-ass monkeys in New Zealand or somewhere like that. They're like, these guys can't see for shit because they don't need to. But on frame... Oh, is it the lemurs of Madagascar? Something like that. But they show the viewer, like in the video, they've got these
Starting point is 00:07:44 frames, and it's like, dude, I didn't know that was a bird until frame 8. On frame 3, I'm like, you can see the coil and that threatening pose. I wonder if Sam beat a human. Then they did these brain scans. Fire pilots, bombers.
Starting point is 00:08:00 I'm going to hit you, Shane. Then they had like oh for three too too high iq yeah yeah that that's definitely true like i would imagine spiders did they do a spider part of that test kyle no Because snakes and spiders are two things that like, you could easily step on an accident back when like we were in ancient times, prior to ancient,
Starting point is 00:08:30 like we're cavemen with barely any communication. Monkeys in the trees. Yeah, monkeys in the trees. They scream about snakes. They scream about birds of prey too, because they're, you know, they're smaller like macaques or whatever. Macaque, is that what those are?
Starting point is 00:08:43 Those little tiny African macaque monkeys? But that what those are those little tiny african macaque monkeys but yeah they can get like scooped up by birds and so they have like different phrases and sounds whether they're like hey snake or like bird like they make different shirts based on that which is really cool i forget monkeys are dangerous too monkeys will fuck your world up in certain parts of the world. Oh, with rocks and steel stuff and jump you. Uh, so my wife's father grew up on an Island and he had to walk the trail where there were monkeys every day.
Starting point is 00:09:10 And he would usually walk around the outskirts of the Island to avoid the monkey trail, depending on the time of day, or he would have a little bullshit. So, yeah, but there's like 50 of them. And I,
Starting point is 00:09:21 I didn't really believe them. And then I went to go visit the home island, and lo and behold, there was like 40 motherfucking monkeys just sitting in trees watching me. Oh, yeah. This is not a problem. Well, it's woody because they're sneaky. Like, you'll be sitting there with chips, and one will distract you on purpose,
Starting point is 00:09:37 and the other will come to steal chips from you or pocket change. They learned, I was watching some David Attenborough shit, that in some resort, the monkeys learned that if you take a phone, that the person will do anything and give you anything to get that back. And so they'll see you with a drink or a snack, and they stop stealing the snack directly. They run over and grab your iPhone and run away. And before you know it, you're having to make a peace offering
Starting point is 00:10:03 of all of this food and treats to get your phone back. And then it'll grab the treats, throw your phone down, run away and before you know it you're like having to make a peace offering of all of this food and like treats to get your phone back and then it'll like grab the treats throw your phone down no it's like monkeys have discovered taxes yeah there's that other uh that study where it took the monkeys like they had a vending machine and coins and it was a little society of male and female ones and the you know you could put your little coin in and you could get some grapes at the bottom and they figured out the female monkeys almost immediately along with the male monkeys invented prostitution where all the females were like you can fuck me if you give me your coin and the men would go over give her the coin they'd fuck and then the women were all just
Starting point is 00:10:39 flush with grapes so they had a set price too i remember reading this study and it was weird because they had a fixed price for grapes and they had their own little monkey economy and like different females had different values or different uh if you if it was like late at night or they were they knew they were hungry they would charge more and squeeze them a bit and it was kind of interesting i guess we're not that different than them it's's super price gouging. Yeah, I like that a lot. Those dirty, slutty monkeys. When Taylor's face lit up like a child, when you described a scenario where a man had to walk through a monkey path to get to school every morning, he was just like, that could have been me.
Starting point is 00:11:18 Imagine the Taylor who walks through monkey paths to school. You know what I was picturing? I was picturing myself in like Steve Irwin shorts, Steve Irwin vest, Steve Irwin hat, like learning along the way. But really, I'm just like sunburned and tired. And the monkeys aren't novel anymore. You're imagining one is like your close confidant monkey. He gets on your shoulder and like whispers in your ear and then goes and talks to the others. He bridges the gap.
Starting point is 00:11:41 I imagine I want them working for me bringing one day other people's iphones one day some like bullies like roughing you up outside school or maybe or maybe a more likely scenario like a dozen smaller children who you'd been bullying have banded together um and but your monkey pals see this going down and they come to your aid but they go a little too far because they're monkeys and they scratch the rich mayor's son's face, just a little superficial thing. But now he wants to put your monkey asleep. They bite everyone.
Starting point is 00:12:10 They bite all the kids and give them HIV. Sounds like a Netflix original. Okay, well, I was making a little fun, little three-episode show out of this that we could sell. No, one episode. But the HIV. If the kids have HIV, then we need to put these monkeys down immediately.
Starting point is 00:12:24 I didn't know these were... Local man accused of training a band of HIV-positive apes to do his bidding. We suggest avoiding the man as he and his compatriots are remarkably dangerous and infectious. This shows me throwing monkeys at journalists. As soon as the news breaks out, all bug chasers just like flood to you guys and they're like yeah send your monkeys all over me i want to get all the aids in a huge backfire he's canceled the monkey project there's a bunch of yeah we talked about that bug chasing shit like years ago there are some just i'm not gonna get into it because i read some stuff from some forums
Starting point is 00:13:02 about bug chasing if you look around online you can find forums from like 2006, 2007. Everyone there's posting is clearly dead by now. I was about to say, how many users are still active? It's like it's people just making post after post, like whole accounts. And you know how you go on a forum about woodworking. It'll be like Sammy Woodworker posts 8,000 joined 2002. Sammy Woodworker posts, 8,000 joined 2002. This shit would be like 35,000 posts joined 99.
Starting point is 00:13:37 And all of them are like, got my 976th guy paused up today. Just got an IRC chat from him that he was positive. These guys are infecting people. I thought bug chasers wanted to be infected. These guys are two sides of the same coin. So you know positive guys are infecting people but i thought bug chasers wanted to be infected these guys are two sides of the same coin so you have to have an infector yeah an infectee yeah there were people on there who were like please i want aids so bad and there were other people who were like hey i'm just handing out aids here and so what you know any of you guys familiar with continuum magazine it should be a crime. It should be a crime. You guys will like this.
Starting point is 00:14:13 In the early 90s, there was a magazine called Continuum, and it was sort of like an LGBT news magazine. And this was like in the height of the AIDS crisis. Nobody knew what was going on. And they just sort of like denied that HIV existed and ran a whole bunch of sort of pseudoscience articles. And the whole people behind it were real believers. and ran a whole bunch of sort of pseudoscience articles. And the whole people behind it were real believers. The magazine shut down in February 2001 when all of the editors died of HIV. That's, I mean, poetic, you know?
Starting point is 00:14:38 Yeah, kind of like our leopards ate my face. I mean, was there like eight guys in the writer room? And like six months later, there's eight guys in the writer room, and like six months later there's two guys, and they're like, I don't know, they all did seem pretty agey. Oh, and it was just like a thinning out. It just lessened less every day, you know. Yeah. I got a cold and I was crippled for three weeks
Starting point is 00:14:59 because my immune system's dead. Zach pointed out that knowingly and intentionally transmitting aids is definitely a crime i knew that but i was even saying that like maybe like intentionally getting it and then being a strain on like your insurance provider or the health care system in general or whatever you know should seems criminal to me it's like i don don't know. If I'm hurting myself, it seems like insurance fraud, right? I get it.
Starting point is 00:15:29 Should you be allowed to give someone AIDS if they consent? That's like the German cannibal. The guy that consented to being eaten. He consented to being eaten and also ate part of himself. I was okay with that. I'm okay with that.
Starting point is 00:15:44 I was okay with that. Because okay with that i was okay with that but but but because i don't have to well let's it was in germany so it wouldn't matter anyway i'm not responsible anyway but but you know like we're not having to foot the bill for this burial i would assume because that's the aftermath of this but if someone is like because then then the next step to that is like well uh people who are skydiving playing collision sports i don't know we're overweight i was gonna say you're getting dangerously draw the line anywhere like the people should we treat anti-vaxxers at the hospital it sounded kind of like that we should treat them differently yeah everybody should get treated at the hospital jesus christ oh
Starting point is 00:16:17 should not treat people differently it's called triage it's a it's like a cornerstone of that's if there's like a disaster tour like you have to choose who lives and who dies. Like a pandemic? Yeah, like there were hospitals that literally went to triage mode, and doctors did have to decide who gets treatment and not. But broadly, there's a movement of people, clowns, I believe, that want to deny health care to people that don't vaccinate. And I'm more of a believer in that everybody gets equal access as long as they can.
Starting point is 00:16:44 In a disaster, that gets more complicated. How about this, though? How about this, though? Why should their insurance provider have to cover their hospital stay if this person is refusing to get vaccinated? It's like easily preventable. It's it's it's not people. Tons of vaccinated people get COVID. Sure.
Starting point is 00:16:58 But but it's not the hospitals. You could do some easy math, right? The hospital stays a lot less expensive for those that were vaccinated versus unvaccinated. What's the burden like obese people? Is it about the same as the unvaccinated? You're preaching to the choir. I'm glad you agree with me. We should get them lumped into this, too.
Starting point is 00:17:15 I'm saying you don't want to draw any lines. The people who want to skydive, if they shatter their legs, they need to be okay. Skydivers are okay. No, you're wrong about that. I was saying they should take care of them. How are they going to risk their life again if their legs are shattered? Put those things back together. Shattered legs is the last thing.
Starting point is 00:17:33 You're worried about skydiving. You turn into a pancake if it goes wrong. Yeah, if it goes wrong and you end up with shattered legs, that was a really good wrong trip for skydiving. All right. Maybe you're right. Maybe you're wrong. I don't know.
Starting point is 00:17:45 I just don't like it. I don't like it one bit. I feel like if you're unvaccinated, I don't know. Maybe you just go to a different line, Taylor. Separate but equal. You're okay with that, right? You're always saying that.
Starting point is 00:18:01 Separate but equal. One thing about Taylor is that he approves of separate but equal. But now it applies to you. Now suddenly Taylor's involved. Imagine if that was one of my hardcore over the years beliefs.
Starting point is 00:18:18 Separate but equal. All of a sudden he's separated from the equal. I'm teasing. We should treat everybody the same because uh when we start drawing lines uh uh first of all who draws the lines right we're gonna get together and start figuring out who draws the lines fuck all those people no lines get drawn everybody gets treated the same all jokes aside speaking of all jokes aside i have gotten to the bottom of the wings redemption nonsense that's been going on long last okay all right i had to talk to so many people to get to
Starting point is 00:18:53 the bottom of this nonsense and and like when you when you hear like what's actually happened here you're going to like shake your head like what the fuck like who's the good guy and who's the bad guy and the answer is there probably aren't any real good guys here, except for us right here. Always. Clearly, the PKA crew. I do want to apologize to whoever... I just refer to you guys as internet guys,
Starting point is 00:19:16 but I guess it's like Wing Tings and that crowd over there. Sean Ranklin. You guys did not edit that video in a way for it to be misleading. That guy is a liar. I trusted that that gentleman, Wings' friend, who was sitting, you know, I need to start at the beginning.
Starting point is 00:19:31 You know, I need to start at the beginning. Wings is being accused of doing something sexual to his sister by a longtime family friend. Someone Wings has known in real life is accusing Wings of this, saying that through hearsay, mind you, he's saying that he heard this, that, and the other, that Wings did known in real life, he's accusing Wings of this, through hearsay, mind you. He's saying that he heard this, that, and the other, that Wings did something to his sister.
Starting point is 00:19:49 And that's why all these other little things fell into place. And so it's like brought up this huge thing. And so Wings is like, bullshit, bro. Come to my house, sit next to me in a fucking chair and answer for what you said about me on the Internet to these people. And so the guy does so, sits there next to Wings in a chair and and answer for what you said about me on the internet to these people. The guy does so, sits there next to Wings in a chair, and denies it all. I didn't say that. No. They took what I said about
Starting point is 00:20:12 someone else. They edited into here. They clipped and copy-pasted. I couldn't imagine a scenario in which this guy is sitting next to Wings lying to his face about things that are easily disproved. I couldn't imagine that to be a thing.
Starting point is 00:20:28 That somebody would lie to wings? No, that someone would lie about something so easily disproved right next to wings to his face because five minutes later, the people are like, actually, here's the four-hour interview, all unedited, and here's you. You know how pulling something out of context works, right? In a bombastic moment, you could be saying something ridiculous and you like plug that into another sentence and all of a sudden you look like hitler or something like that these are full sentences where he's mentioning people by name and like mentioning dates and stuff he's like this person's mom said this to my mom about this person and it's name name name first names of all these people you know there's no this guy is
Starting point is 00:21:07 he went his wings long time real life friend really a friend of wings brother they grew up together elementary school and shit what it really seems like is wings used to like bully this guy as a kid or something like that or maybe when they worked at dominoes together because they work together as like teenagers
Starting point is 00:21:24 at a dominoes for like a good period of time these guys know each other so they were friends this guy for a while okay yes and this grown-ass man approached like you know the investigators from the internet is like like spamming their inboxes on on um discord with these paragraphs of like hey i'm this guy i know this about wings and that about wings and i know i grew up with him and and I know his brother and I know what a fucking loser like he's and and like finally he says something like and I know something no one knows about his sister and it's that moment where they stop ignoring him and guy desperate for attention willing to say the guy who's desperate for
Starting point is 00:21:59 attention and like trying to hurt wings I guess for some reason says this and and and and so that gets their attention right they're like all right wait what the fuck and so for four hours they sit and have a recorded conversation with this guy where they told him it was being recorded mind you don't let him fucking slip out of that one either um here's the grand here's the here's the thing that nobody wants to say because whenever like this guy this i don't know his real fucking name and i don't want to the guy who grew up with wings um whenever he's like talks about what wings supposedly did he's like oh yeah they said he did some and he gets quiet like he's oh it's too dirty to say
Starting point is 00:22:33 right you know oh oh i'm here to talk about child molestation but it's oh it's too dirty for me to say the things wings did lying and it's like lead with the fucking story bro what the fuck did he do what the fuck did he do he said something what did he say did he say that he did something what did he fucking say that he did right this guy's such a important clarification fact this guy was giving specific dates and internet detectives did a little quick search and the dates that he was giving would also make some of the people underage so they're basically accusing wings of being a pedo yeah yeah yeah here's what happened wings at one point being the uncouth motherfucker he is said to his sister hey you've got some feminine odor that you need to take care of that hurt her feelings she told mom
Starting point is 00:23:19 the mom was like hey you can't say that he like, we're all living here together and it smells. All right? Boys, that is it. That is it. That's what he did. Wings said somebody's pussy stank and everybody's too embarrassed to fucking say it. So everyone's minds run rampant. Like, oh, my God.
Starting point is 00:23:40 Can you imagine the positions and the contraptions they must use? God, can you imagine the positions and the contraptions they must use? The whole thing was him saying, like, hey, your vagina is kind of rough right now. We would love that summer fresh. Get some midnight summer's eve, whatever the fuck that brand is. It's like a young girl's on her period, and she doesn't quite have feminine hygiene. Or look, I don't have a vagina myself. Maybe sometimes there's just nothing you can do about that, bad boy.
Starting point is 00:24:07 I don't know. Maybe sometimes they just are unruly. Yeah, being a guy with rocks. Maybe it's just like a case of swamp ass you can't get away from. I just don't know. That's what I imagine. Basically, Wings was defending the hygiene of his home. That's unbelievable in and of itself.
Starting point is 00:24:30 So how bad do you have to smell before Wings says you smell? Now, look. Now, Kyle will tell you. Wings, I've never met him, but apparently he smells very nice. Really? No, that's something that Wings put forward. That's the thing that I stick to. No, no, that's a Woody thing. I went on this, I forget what it's called alky david flew us out to beverly
Starting point is 00:24:46 hills oh uh millionaire bash thing yeah something oh dude i skipped that one i heard that one was weird as fuck yeah you heard right but um i was around wings for a weekend plus the man smells good don't let anyone tell you wing smells bad the guy's got it on lockdown or at least he did that weekend you know things come in uh streaks i guess you know there was this one time when like every time i would walk past the kitchen i would throw my coke can like not even trying right in right fucking in odds had to be one in a hundred that i did like all day long i was hitting it that's how wing smelling nice for you is he just hit it all weekend long somehow somehow he did not perspire or maybe like maybe only using blade was sneaking up behind him with some axe i don't know like but in fairness when you
Starting point is 00:25:36 were around him kyle you were it was the boot camp he's gonna be sweat if i was doing kind of fps boot camp and it's me i'm gonna smell like dog shit I'm going to be pushing tires over and running around in the yard. You know, when you force me into a corner like this, I have to give anecdotal evidence and just tell you that he smelled so bad that we wouldn't go out with him. And we forced him to bathe one time. And,
Starting point is 00:25:58 and, and I, I was like hinting at it. Like, yeah, I'm going to take a shower. And then I'll take a shower. Yeah. Hey, I'm going to hop. I'm about, I'm going to hop in the shower in like 10. at it like yeah i'm gonna take a shower and then let's all take a shower yeah hey i'm gonna hop
Starting point is 00:26:06 i'm about i'm gonna hop in the shower in like 10 or do you want to get in now before me i don't want to use a bottle of hot water you know you do one of those things to politely nudge like like but but at the core of that what i just said is like we're all taking baths before we go out um what order would you like your bath to be it wasn't would you like a bath sir it's like when you're selling a car what color do you want your car? Not, do you want a car? He's like, no. And you're like, oh, I insist.
Starting point is 00:26:30 You have to feel the water pressure. Insist didn't cut it because he said, no, I'm good, brah. And so I said, you stinky motherfucker, take a shower or I won't go. And so that got it done. You had to be direct like that. And I know now that Wings appreciates that kind of
Starting point is 00:26:48 directness. When you come right at someone and say, hey, you smell bad, fix it. Okay? Some people need that. Some people really just need to be straight up told you can't dance around it. But look, to Wings, Wings' weird fucking real life friend who's like way too obsessed with his life. Dude, what's your deal, bro?
Starting point is 00:27:04 And to the guys on the internet who again I apologize you didn't miss quote this guy he was just a maniac so this guy surprised I did a four hour conversation yeah he basically would lead up to an intense story and then just imply something happened
Starting point is 00:27:20 and then he doubled down said that everyone was lying and the clip channels took it out of context and that Wings was only viewing the clip channels and now it's come out that he did say all this shit and imply it and the clip channels were literally just taking his lies and making compilations of it. Yeah, pretty much. That pretty much
Starting point is 00:27:36 cuts it. And look, if I'm wrong about anything still, I'd love to get to the bottom of it, but I watched all the videos. I watched an hour of the three-part series and then I watched two more videos. I watched some hour of the three-part series, and then I watched two more videos. I watched some old clips of Blade that were really good. You mentioned that. What were these clips of?
Starting point is 00:27:52 Man, I miss old Blade. Blade's been having such a rough time of it that I had forgotten what a chill, smart guy he is deep down, and that he doesn't really do that much anymore because he drinks a lot but but like i don't know i was watching him talk about wings um just completely throw him under the bus one time you know there was an instance where they were doing their podcast or whatever together and wings just didn't show up one week because blade was going to be the guest he just wanted to avoid blade so he just pretended like he was he was sleepy that week and so um
Starting point is 00:28:23 blade had this bit of like stupid internet drama where somebody like photoshopped one of his tweets to make it seem like he had said something about hanging a certain group of people you know how that goes but it's like a it's like a goofy bad photoshop that like and blade's saying this he's like giving like a whole monologue he's he's like i no one thought that was real no No one did. No one messaged me. No one tweeted me. No one even chuckled about it because it was such a bad fake wings. And then it cuts to the clip of wings doing it.
Starting point is 00:28:53 He's like, I can't believe y'all replaced me last week with that racist motherfucker. And then there and then all of wings like co-hosts are like defending blade. They're like blade had a black man with him when he was on. His roommate, I think, may be black. I don't think he's racist, man. And Wings is like, you know how he is when he's confident. Pull it up. Pull it up.
Starting point is 00:29:15 Pull it up. Yeah, look at that right there. What if Wings made it? You said it was badly Photoshopped, right? No, not that bad. And it's in Comic Sans, not centered under the username. It's just not even close. Okay, like okay but but it was just this terrible and wings was so quick to like like like with with a little bit of nonsense evidence to like throw um only use me blade under the bus we should never have
Starting point is 00:29:37 him on our show again we should never talk to people like that again and it's like that juxtaposed with his current the situation is one of those million things that makes it so hard to be on his side time and time again where like when the shoe was literally on the other foot he was so quick to judge from like nonsense evidence and like try to like and throw somebody's reputation under the bus as being a racist only to be played is a lot of things but he is not a racist it seems like most of his friends are black. Kyle, you sent me that video earlier today, the compilation of everything, the Wings compilation.
Starting point is 00:30:14 You're right. Wings will sometimes lash out with no evidence. Not that I've never done that. I've done that many times. Usually, I'm trying to joke, make a meme or something. Basically, you sent me that video and i like my gut reaction to all like like the people calling wings a pedophile shit is fucked up like that's so not true it's it's really messed up to put that onto somebody and say that and when there's no evidence that he did that or is planning to do something like that
Starting point is 00:30:38 but like so i always have that instinct of like come on lay up on wings take it easy like stop fucking with like his head is his share and then i opened this video kyle sends me the first like five clips are like fuck murka murka can go fuck himself all murka did all murka durka did will show up and then steal all the money from the show that i made that's all murka durka did and it's like five clips back to back of like he's shooting it's's like, what's that? Fuck Merkaderka. Merkaderka can kiss my ass. He stole my money. And I'm watching that like, you know, Wings, I'm kind of one of the guys in your corner,
Starting point is 00:31:11 but you're really, I didn't even steal your spot on the show, you fucking retard. I took a different guy's spot. It was Lefty, right? Didn't you replace Lefty? It was Lefty. It's been, I've been a host seven years. 2014, I started being a host on this show and he still thinks I took his place.
Starting point is 00:31:30 Come on. It was two presidents ago. What? Hold on. What if Wings is like that kid that never, is always bullied in school and then he gets to be hall monitor for one day and just uses this tiny bit of power to
Starting point is 00:31:45 just shit on everybody because wings gets trolled constantly he's been trolled for years it's honestly not even funny like it's kind of sad i feel like just leave the guy alone like he's suffered enough but then finally a break light at the end of the tunnel wing sees the ability to talk shit and troll somebody else and just jumps on it instantly and unloads every ounce of repressed emotions and trolling into whatever evidence or not just going to lash out at somebody. That's my theory. Let me let me read you an only blade paraphrased quote. I wrote it down today that I OK. Oh, cogent.
Starting point is 00:32:21 that I think is so cogent. When you're so fat, you can't get on an airplane and simultaneously such a small man you can't get into a Skype conversation to apologize. Wings of Redemption. Ooh. When you're so fat, you can't get on an airplane and simultaneously
Starting point is 00:32:37 such a small man you can't get into a Skype conversation to apologize. Was this following when... It has to be an old quote because it's about skype yeah i mean it's gonna be like one pre-2017 kind of yeah and be a small man for not hopping on aim it's uh and hashing this out no it's a uh it's so small i can't get on jabber you're not hopping on your landline dialing up the wheel and hashing it through. I don't miss that at all.
Starting point is 00:33:07 We're not having your carrier bridging, right? That was in reference, though, to like, you know, the previous instance they'd had where he threw Blade under the bus. And it was like, dude, you know, you always hear that phrase, you owe me an apology. Rarely do you mean it. I feel Blade is literally owed that you he is like it's like hey you owe me an apology like to this day i guarantee wings has never been like hey you know i was wrong in that moment eight years ago fuck what was i thinking i'm so sorry that's what i would say like jesus christ you like threw him under the bus like that for no reason um anyway
Starting point is 00:33:44 um if i'm still missing some pieces to the puzzle i'd love to know but boys like like and i'm talking like all you investigators or whoever out there like am i wrong it because it seems to me that like everybody always tiptoed around like what he'd actually done it was always like somebody said he said a thing about somebody and somebody thought that was bad so we all did this and it was it was never like oh he'd do every night it would be this that and the other that's i never heard anything like that i just heard the one thing he said a thing that people didn't like his mom didn't like the thing that he had said to his mom or to his sister or something like that and when it finally
Starting point is 00:34:17 boiled down seems to me the only thing that's even borderline here would between wings his sister and like drama is him complaining about a smell and i know everybody's eyes got weird about that but like it's not even that weird like and if it's your like i don't i don't i don't have a sister and so i but i have brothers and and i know it's not the same but like if one of my brothers like after hockey or something smelled like shit and he wouldn't shower i'd be like dude come on you smell really bad like he wasn't saying it in any other way than that i would imagine can i just jump in and say look we're not going to be able to like put ourselves into a position where we can make this make sense for us yeah we would never do this no we would never do this so like like
Starting point is 00:34:56 it doesn't even make sense to try to run the the scenario the issue what you've got to always keep in mind here is you're dealing with a very odd man. And, and like, I don't, I, I, I'm trying not to like, say something really cruel here about wings on the internet. Like, like,
Starting point is 00:35:12 like something actually like mean here, but like, maybe he's not picking up on everything that you guys are laying down all the time. Um, I talked to somebody today about this and they were like, Oh, I bet wings
Starting point is 00:35:25 is loving this he's raking in the money and the views and i'm like you have such a loose grasp on wings or maybe just reality that i'm getting a little mad at you finance like how do you think money works wings is so afraid right now because people are calling him the worst thing in the world that he's trying as desperately as he can to clear his name but he's too much of a dumb dumb to be like what tell me what i said tell them what i said to her tell them tell them what the big bad is what did i do you said her pussy smelled i sure did eight years ago i told my roommate slash sister that she had bo is that why we're here? Yeah. Alright, anything else? Anything else before you try to ruin my life another step further,
Starting point is 00:36:10 you roach? That's what he should have done. See, that's all that it would take to handle. I'm curious with you guys. So, like, if I don't have a sister, if I had a sister and I'm living with my sister and my mom and I'm worried about a pussy smell, in no world do I, like, knock, knock, sis. and I'm living with my sister and my mom and I'm worried about a pussy smell.
Starting point is 00:36:28 In no world do I like knock, knock, sis. Like I go, I like go. You go to the arbiter of pussy. Yeah, I go to my mom and I would be like, hey, this is so uncomfortable. But, you know, Stacy, I think there's some smell coming from her. Can you have a talk with her? I don't, don't tell her I told you.
Starting point is 00:36:43 I don't want her to be embarrassed. Like that's the way a normal adult would handle that, right? Is that the way you guys would? I think I would have talked directly. She smelled fun to me. No! Woody's gamer tag enters the argument. No!
Starting point is 00:36:58 Gaslight Woody. Or no, we gaslight Wings into thinking his sister's pussy was never smelly. I did meet her and she didn't smell there was no there was no noticeable odor when i met her um right and it could be an older brother bullying his younger sister the home did smell strongly of some sort of lysol product though so they cleaned up they had guests coming you know yeah his his mom smoked all the time right it's like you know you know in the movies you know the movies where they just barely get the crime scene cleaned up in time and
Starting point is 00:37:28 you get the investigators get there they smell bleach and that's just as damning as a smell i think that's what happened we got there and we smelled cleaning products they had been hiding that stink from us bleach that poor girl or woman i don't know how old she you know the original um like original like douching products were made by lysol it's like lysol douche and like like google the old product photos it's really funny stuff it's almost didn't do bad things to the inside of your vagina because they would use pretty strong terrible for your pussy it it really fucks up the ph levels if you do it too frequently um but but it's it's because you're supposed to be using it when the ph levels are out of whack already like that's the kind of the idea so to use it to just uh i don't know
Starting point is 00:38:09 freshen things up on a saturday afternoon it's overkill like it's funny those those products that used to do for do so much more stuff like there's the old stuff like the opium tablets oh yeah yeah yeah this is one of them it does does everything. Feminine hygiene facts. And I think that back in the day, Listerine was like also a feminine hygiene. Listerine, they used to say, was for everything. They're like cauterize, sterilize wounds, fix your mouth, fix your pussy, fix your ass,
Starting point is 00:38:41 clean your hands, scrub your floor. You know, Dr. Lister's ultimate ointment. And like, that's what it was. It was just like, get drunk in the street because it's prohibition time. Or like whatever else you could do with Listerine. I remember like when I was maybe seven, eight years old, we would have chores every weekend. And like my mom would be like, all right, Taylor, you're on bathroom duty. You're on kitchen duty, like scrubbing the floor and stuff.
Starting point is 00:39:09 And one time I unknowingly mixed bleach and vinegar. Not knowing, you know, that makes chlorine gas. Bleach and ammonia. Bleach and, is that it? Bleach and ammonia? Whatever makes... I've made my share of gases. Okay, well, it was bleach and ammonia whatever makes i've made my share of gases okay well it was bleach and ammonia then i've used it for rats before i remember like i mean i'm a little kid and i like
Starting point is 00:39:33 start wiping the countertop and i'm like i feel sick and i just just left the room and i i nothing ever came of it it's because i didn't make a big pot of it i was just like a kid so i was like multiples cleaning agents. I'll be done twice as fast. Yeah, that's just spraying them onto the wall. Thank God it was a tiny like spritz amount of it. But that still makes enough to like get you coughing and feel sick. I guess that's chlorine gas.
Starting point is 00:39:56 Yeah, I think so. Have you ever seen the video, the black and white video of World War One when they would unleash a big wave of it? They would do it on a day where, I don't know, air pressure and the wind direction was conducive to this, but they would basically just have giant vats of it poured together on the battlefield, and because of the weather conditions, it would create this low-lying
Starting point is 00:40:16 fog because the chlorine gas is so heavy. It gets low to the ground in this thick little fog, and it flows. It starts creeping toward the enemy lines, and there's nothing to do against it except for pissing a rag and throw it on your face or use that gas mask. You were issued eight months ago, right?
Starting point is 00:40:33 Like it sounds terrifying. Imagine seeing the death fog just rolling in and you know, that's a slow, painful death. It's a, you might not even be able to outrun it if you just totally abandoned your station, all your mucus membranes go into overdrive, and the ones
Starting point is 00:40:46 in your lungs especially, so you begin drowning on your own fluids, essentially, while your eyes, nose, throat, everything are just foaming. They should make it so you can be safe on top of the trenches, right? All you need is a little sandbag so that you can get above the trench.
Starting point is 00:41:02 Right? Am I crazy? I'm like, they didn't have those. That's where the guns are.'s where the boats but no but the guns could all you need is a small hill above the hole like if there's just a hole then you get out of the hole you die if there's a hole next to a small wall then you can be i feel like everybody everybody's in the trench and they're like smoke's coming in head for the hill and the germans are like they're all running for the hill as planned no i'm just picturing a like a sandbag wall a couple feet away from the trench that you can be on the ledge i think the issue is that you've got like a trench that's like miles and miles wide that has to be manned all the time because they're you know you've been budding
Starting point is 00:41:42 forces you know somewhere in france with the a year. I think I'm not explaining myself. When you make a trench, you have excess dirt. They put that in sandbags and they pile them up. And now you can exist outside the trench behind the sandbags. No. I don't think that's as safe. No. I don't know. I would
Starting point is 00:41:59 say if the trenches didn't work, they wouldn't have done them because they didn't seem like fun. But I feel like they were figuring out more fair game. You also would have lived in the trench. I need an artist rendering. I'm not opposed to the idea. I just need a drawing.
Starting point is 00:42:16 Well, you're in luck. I draw on a first grade level. I want one of those 4chan level MS paint drawings of how you imagine the hill the trenches do all that I don't think I could even do that no because the worse it is the funnier
Starting point is 00:42:32 because if you think that you let me ask you this Woody do you think that if you could go back to World War 1 in a time machine and you give them this tip do you think that you could save lives I'm processing do you think that you could save lives? I'm processing it.
Starting point is 00:42:51 I think that it's not that I'm smarter than these soldiers of World War I. Of course not. It's just that I have a glimpse into their future, which involves chlorine gas. So rather than put the sandbags at the edge of the wall, push them back. See what we have here? A wall. Where did all the dirt go that made that trench zach put put your mouse like you're is it in front of the guy there should be like a sandbag with holes in it that people are shooting through in front of his face okay might have been a resource issue if you're building miles of wall if you have miles of wall you can't you can't double your effort to build sandbags and shit when the hole blocks all the bullets.
Starting point is 00:43:26 Where did the dirt go they used to make the trench? They removed dirt from the trench. It looks like Woody ground line on the right side. See, they put it behind them. That's a terrible mistake. Put it in front of them. No, Woody, they're making a little hill behind them to your specifications. It's in the wrong spot.
Starting point is 00:43:43 I just don't understand in what scenario. You can shoot through the hole in the sandbags. It's got to be delightful. You're going the wrong spot. I just don't understand in what scenario you can shoot through the hole in the sandbags. It's gonna be delightful. You're gonna love my trench idea. Well, I mean, I'm sure that was done many times. But let's just say we put some sandbags with a hole in front of them, in them, in front of this man. How does that save him from chlorine gas?
Starting point is 00:43:59 Because he can climb out of the trench and be behind the sandbags. No, he would have to, but it's going to flow over the top and then down into the trench, so it's going to flow over the fucking sandbags and over wherever he is and keep going down in a massive wave that probably lasts for like an hour.
Starting point is 00:44:16 Wait a minute, can you go back to the part I misunderstood? I thought it was traveling via the trench. Like stretching up out here, he's going to choke on it. Zach, bring the image back up. Bring the image back up because we have misinterpreted this image entirely look at what this is showing this is showing the back shitting no they're showing a scenario which this man can go prone and like be underground and shoot through a fucking hole right is that not what i'm looking at look at look at how he's he's in
Starting point is 00:44:39 position basically right now look at what c b and a are and a he is in a prone position firing through some oh yeah wait no no no but look at that that's like look follow the ground line and it shows depending on where the ground line is with that dotted line the different positions you would take so a is if the ground line is barely lower than the shooting position b is if it's medium level and then d down there or c you can see his right leg up, and then D, both feet down in the deepest trench. You see what I mean? That ground line? You can tell by, and like, see the M there?
Starting point is 00:45:14 Yeah. The fuck is that? That is for, it's like passing treats, snacks, trinkets. Oh, okay. Mustaches. Oh, they got, no, no, no, it's like one of those sushi conveyor belt things they got a string yeah and it's just grenades and it's like oh i think i win what
Starting point is 00:45:29 the hell it is m4 i think it's baffled i think it's for like passing stuff between the two sides so am i the only one when you pass them like looking at stuff like this like i feel like i don't look at l and g there's some kind of a fucking crawl space underneath there's a bunch of stuff uh so you know war isn't like they knew what people were doing they built these things sequentially they would build something the other side would come up with something like chlorine gas that would uh destroy the trenches usefulness and then they would build their trenches differently to survive the chlorine gas or do gas i think they're just storage areas, Kyle. Well, L was a retaining wall
Starting point is 00:46:08 to keep it together, I think. Thank you. Oh, color! Well, we're in color now. So, Woody, please show me how we defend against that. They're kind of doing it here. Do you see the sandbags? All he needs to do is lay down behind the sandbags.
Starting point is 00:46:24 You still die there! Where the fuck do you think the sandbags? All he needs to do is lay down behind the sandbags. You still die there! Where the fuck do you think the chlorine gas flows over? Drifter. Sorry. I need a chance to talk to you. My theory was that the gas was heavy and going through the trench to get to you. It was traveling in the trench. Not that it traveled
Starting point is 00:46:39 over the... So that's where my mistake comes in. That makes more sense. It's traveling toward your trench, perpendicular to it from the enemy. Because it's very heavy. I thought that it had seeped into the first heavy thing it found, and then it was traveling via trench to all of it. No, it roils along the
Starting point is 00:46:56 ground, and it finds all the hidey holes and tunnels. It goes down and it goes up. That's why each side would use it. But that wasn't even the most effective way to use it i'm i'm describing like one instance where that i watched them do this thing where they just combined it raw and like created the gas and let it flow like that that's the shitty way to do it eventually they use artillery shells to deliver it and and mortar rounds to deliver it
Starting point is 00:47:18 so they could pinpoint accurately explode the gas right amongst the enemy and and and do it in such a uh cluster that like instantly a whole line, like hundreds and thousands of people are getting exposed to this gas and going blind. You asked Woody, you were like, if you go back in time and you share this info, do you think you could save lives? I go back in time to World War I. They go, we're about to send troops. We're about to get moving. I go, guys, don't even waste your time on this one. Let it happen. There's going to be another guy in about 13 years.
Starting point is 00:47:53 Save your resources for that guy. I'm telling you. Like, no, we have to get over there. Trust me on this. Let this happen. Let World War I play out. We save up all our resources for World War II. You know how much we took advantage of the UK, France,ance all those countries us giving them huge amounts of resources for loans they
Starting point is 00:48:08 couldn't possibly pay back that then we made them take like manufacturing contracts in our country in the 50s like and that helped like our our economy grow in a big way like that we could do that to an even bigger extent we go nope sorry world war one we're not jumping in we have a hunch because of this really smart guy with a normal-sized head and normal BMI came back in time. And he told us not to waste time because there's a mustachioed motherfucker coming up in the next 13 years.
Starting point is 00:48:35 And I would be a hero. Are you sure that there would be a World War II if you prevented World War I? Oh, he's going to be too long. See, the problem with that is Hitler's fighting in World War I, right? It's his main... Everybody jokes about the art thing, but Hitler was upset about the way World War I ended.
Starting point is 00:48:53 And he felt that Germany was a military power that at the very least could have sued for a better deal at the end because Germany got really fucked at the end. They were just like, whatever you want, take it. They did one of those when in reality they had a better bargaining position. So the Treaty of Versailles? I don't think so, but I'm not great with that.
Starting point is 00:49:17 I thought Versailles was World War II. But I'm... No, it's the pomp... What's the one from Sopranosanos they make fun of it like he didn't he couldn't he said it wrong but i'm not gonna it doesn't matter something accords yeah yeah yeah it's the one where stalin and churchill and uh fdr are all there together he's a fucking interior designer from dickless lovacchia it's like what you're talking about it's like the palm past calm past fucking can't roll off my tongue thing hot stem agreement that's it that's it did i get it yeah you got it yeah
Starting point is 00:49:51 no that's what i needed i'm just too late to fucking do it apparently it's better if i struggle for it i like to tap keys while i think think think i'm sorry it's a nervous tick i tap keys and i dart my eyes around when i'm thinking okay do you guys notice that your hands will like type what you're thinking sometimes if you're just like thinking about stuff your fingers will just type a little yeah no my n key is worn out i uh the g fell off so long ago it gets worked at least twice as hard as the end just some racist guy always typing it some some some racist rain man um did you is it okay if i shift to a tv show real quick or do we have more like important like i mean obviously we've got like the global pandemic as bad as it's ever been. Vladimir Putin's moving 7,000 more troops to the border
Starting point is 00:50:47 with Ukraine. Dude, the Ukraine news coverage is making me crazy. Oh, I've been watching. Here's what happened. Fast forward, what's happened to Ukraine. We sort of laid it out last week. Ukraine used to be part of Russia. last week ukraine used to be part of russia now ukraine kind of wants to be part of nato russia's like no uh i'm your jealous ex-boyfriend i want you to come back to me and they're like i'm really kind of feeling these nato guys they look richer than you and uh russia is like well i'm gonna force you to be my girlfriend you can't
Starting point is 00:51:19 leave all right so that that's the ukraine thing in a nutshell biden is like no you can't just invade other countries if you do that then china's gonna do it and everyone's gonna do it we're gonna have all this like lack of peace america being the world's police force was a cool thing and everyone all the americans are like actually we don't really want to die over this why are we protecting ukraine's borders that that kind of sounds shitty to me so So Russia says, hey, we're pulling all the troops away. And here's where the news coverage got me angry. The Republicans were like, you made a big deal over nothing. They really had no plans of invading Ukraine.
Starting point is 00:51:55 You're lying to us. And, you know, fuck you for acting like invasion was imminent. And the left is like, we did it, boys. We stopped Russia from invading they're pulling away now so there's a it was never real and a we succeeded for a brief period of time now it turns out putin was just lying he didn't actually pull any troops away he just said he pulled troops away and they believe how would we not know that because like i
Starting point is 00:52:28 thought all the that news came from like satellite shit where they'd be like we're noticing patterns said it oh yeah said it and it took us a little while to sort of disprove it and we're like hey wait wait wait wait we're you know we're watching and you put more troops on the border you said you sent your troops home but what you actually did was deploy more troops getting ready to invade Ukraine. Did I? That's kind of like when you said there was a genocide going on in this area of Ukraine and terrorists,
Starting point is 00:52:55 but as it turns out, it was mostly Russian spec ops and mercenaries doing the genocide. What? So where we stand right now is it seems like Putin is going to invade Ukraine. And we'll see if he does. I'm never going to take a trip to Ukraine. I don't care. That's like number 69, 70, 71 on vacation destinations worldwide.
Starting point is 00:53:18 I'm watching Long Way Round right now. This is the motorcycle TV show. It's like 10 episodes where they ride their bike from the uk around like through through europe eastern europe they go through mongolia russia alaska canada america back to uk can you picture this yeah long way around they are currently in the ukraine and uh i am learning what what Ukraine was like in 2003 via TV show. Well, in Ukraine, like when you were like, they're biking through the UK and Ireland and France. And I'm like, okay, long way around.
Starting point is 00:53:56 And then you're like, and Russia. And it's like, dude, just biking through Russia would take a lot of time. They spend a lot of time in Kazakhstan and Mongolia and Russia. Kazakhstan, where Borat's from? That's a big country, too. You can't just make up countries, Taylor. You just said Kazakhstan. It's the largest.
Starting point is 00:54:15 It's either Kyrgyzstan or Kazakhstan. It's based on what he said. Kazakhstan is the largest landlocked nation in the world. So you'd spend a lot of time in Kazakhstan. Kazakhstan, Yeah. I don't know. Kazakhstan? I don't know.
Starting point is 00:54:30 It's the largest. Another country I wouldn't go on vacation to. I don't care if they have war. I don't care. Another weird stat is the army of Turkey is apparently just fucking gantic for some reason. Is it? Turkey has an autocratic thing going on and i know kazakhstan has a really important spaceport because they're at a good like launch angle or whatever uh what is it the
Starting point is 00:54:52 bike door all those kurdistan tagikstan man i don't know what goes on this corner of the world uh stan means land of so i know that or stan was very busy happens around here but i thought mongolia had a lot more greenery that looks pretty desert i always picture like horse riders in mongolia i guess that's just the northern part i think that might be modern day mongolia and whereas like uh maybe the mongol empire would have been like that whole fucking map there mostly maybe i don't definitely this map isn mostly. Maybe. I don't know. Definitely. This map isn't perfect because I don't know why it acts like they gain altitude between
Starting point is 00:55:29 every stop. They are taking the long way around. But it's a pretty neat motorcycle trip. You can sort of see Oh, dude, that's a motorcycle trip? Yeah. Holy shit. I thought I didn't know what it was at first. That's really cool.
Starting point is 00:55:45 Yeah. It's a motorcycle trip and it appears to be a large chunk of it is off road. Like, are you considering this? This got me inspired to do it. It's a, I think it took them a little more than three months and that's more than I could.
Starting point is 00:56:00 Can I make a suggestion? Don't do this. Can I do it?? Don't do this. Can I counterpoint? Do it. Like, I mean, you like a bumpy road, okay? I think that's a good way of, like, describing you. You like a bumpy road. I like a bumpy road.
Starting point is 00:56:16 This road looks like it is fraught with peril. That's what they said about hitchhiking in Mexico. No, no. I would hitchhike with you, like, with our assholes showing in Mexico before I took. All right. See, let's start with London to Brussels, right? Fuck yeah, let's go. By the time we're going to.
Starting point is 00:56:34 I'm going to have three STDs by the time I get to Kiev. OK, like like new shit. I'm going to have three. That's because of your own carelessness. That's well. Yeah, probably. I'm a bug chaser. Well, what's the most dangerous area of this trip? That's what I your own carelessness. That's, well, yeah, probably I'm a bug chaser. Well, what's the most dangerous area of this trip?
Starting point is 00:56:47 That's what I was getting at. I think when you make that bump from like... Chicago, genuinely, yeah. From like Almighty? Yeah, it's that layover in Chi-Town. They don't play. They do say that. I guess it's...
Starting point is 00:57:04 I don't know if they have crime stats or what, but they were saying that camping in America was actually the most dangerous part of the trip. I don't know. They say it. That's some pussy-ass shit, then. What I'm afraid of, though, is... I mean, again, this is my ignorant American point of view, but these are some big, long lines
Starting point is 00:57:22 that I think go through some lesser-developed countries. i'm worried about if you get hurt in some one of these places that they don't have that magical doctor who puts the perfect screws in your leg and like when you wake up you've got like some weird fucking soviet implant in your hip these guys brought a doctor and a film crew okay in the chase truck right so I have that, it's not quite the same thing. Can you imagine? We give you top of line hip. It's the same hip they give
Starting point is 00:57:54 Lennon. When you stop for your trip in Chicago later, you will be much faster, more fleet of foot, able to escape potential aggressors. It is not safe like it is here in Volgograd. You're like, alright, I can deal with that, but why did you
Starting point is 00:58:10 replace both hips? Two for one special. We make you six million rubble men made of jelly beans and rubber bands. You're mostly made of... That's like $400,000. No, that's worse.
Starting point is 00:58:27 It's $78,000. You're the $78,000 man. It is not a pacemaker. It is one of the batteries used to work those Lego cranes. Bionicle. It's a bionicle heart. So 6 million rubles is
Starting point is 00:58:45 78,000 US dollars. Six million ruble men. That is not a very impressive... He is made of cardboard and particle board. I mean... PVC pipe. I bet my ankle costs... I don't know. What do you think two broken ankle surgeries cost
Starting point is 00:59:01 in some rehab? I have no idea. It depends on where. In America? Everything you got. $ ankle surgeries cost in some rehab? I have no idea. Hopefully, I never get to find out. Where? In America? Everything you got. $18,000? Two surgeries? I went under twice. I don't know. I don't think it's as crazy when it's like your foot or something.
Starting point is 00:59:15 I don't know. My people that I know in the medical field, we talk about this sometimes. When they got to open you up, it's when it gets wild. And that aftercare, if there's a lot of after that's that's pretty stupendous as well and then certain scans depending on your your health care provider can be obnoxiously expensive but um i don't know both of y'all would know more than this than me i don't yeah i don't remember i the average cost for ankle replacement surgery is 24 grand all right they replaced the fucker yeah they replaced it right actually think about that like 24 grand is pretty good for a new ankle it's worth you can't even get a mustang for that
Starting point is 00:59:50 that's true you can't buy a used mustang for that used car prices are up like 40 dude i keep reading about these car prices it's outrageous right now um i guess ford has started working with their dealers they're doubling the prices of some vehicles because the supply is just that short. It was actually 80% more, not 100% more. But it's outrageous. So close. Yeah. I want to do an example.
Starting point is 01:00:17 So a $20,000 car is like 36 grand maybe. And Ford is threatening to take away people's dealerships for this kind of activity. You okay, Kyle? What'd you do? I went to take a sip of this stupid fucking energy drink. And it's like, you know when you take a shit and the water splashes just right to hit you in the asshole? Uh-huh. If I took this sip and the water splashed right into my fucking pupil.
Starting point is 01:00:41 It's not water, though. It's this stupid Georgia. But did it burn energetically right like like i've had toothpaste in my eyes and i'm like somehow it's a minty burn it burned like georgia peach bang with creatine and eaas nice i don't know why my eyeball needs your vision's gonna get better gonna be in great shape yeah that's uh that's for his eye gains oh speaking of like face game um um peacemaker uh wrapped up have you seen oh don't spoil it i have to wait i have to wait
Starting point is 01:01:11 a whole week for my wife to come back so we can watch it together face games yeah yeah he's got there's a face exercise you know there's a scene in peacemaker where like he's crying and having like a full-on meltdown over his life in general he's hurting himself he's so mad at himself for being he's like you push everybody away because you're such a piece of shit on the inside and he's crying out loud and like his friend is like peeping on him through the window and he jumps up he's like bro were you crying he's like no i was crying i'm doing my facial exercises to make my face more muscular and jacked!
Starting point is 01:01:47 I can tell by looking at your little face through that mask. Yours is all bony and angular. It's fucking gross. And the guy's genuinely like, well, would you teach me those exercises? Yeah. There's another part later in this series where he's crying
Starting point is 01:02:03 and his fucking autistic partner is like i guess if you're gonna have a face that jacked you got to do it all the time that show's great man it is great peacemaker's very good i can't recommend it enough um don cena surprisingly good actor it's mostly comedic but he does uh the dramatic really well too and i thought he was really good in Suicide Squad. As a spoiler, when he makes that swap to being evil really fast, that was a big turnaround. They did one of those
Starting point is 01:02:31 things. Multiple YouTube channels do it, but I think GQ is one of them where they interview the actor and they show a bunch of... They do it always as promo, obviously. They got a new thing coming out, so it's like, hey, here's Danny DeVito's take on his whole career to promote maybe a new season of it's always sunny or something like that well they did that with um um what's his name it's fucking the guy we're just talking
Starting point is 01:02:54 about john cena john cena um and it's really interesting to see him like out of character completely like discussing this stuff because he's like he's talking about the character of john cena and that's really interesting he's like they told me that you know he was gonna be really into hip-hop stuff so that's what he was they tell me what to do and i just fucking do it you know he talked about like his first movie the marine and it was like really thoughtful stuff like he's just like that movie was supposed to go to steve austin two weeks before it was supposed to go to Steve Austin. Two weeks before it was supposed to begin filming, he canceled. And Vince McMahon said, I need you in Australia tomorrow. And I said, why? Because I'm 24 years old and I'm loving being the wrestling champion.
Starting point is 01:03:36 He said, oh, well, you're going to be in a movie called The Marine. He's like, well, I'm not an actor. He's like, well, you are now. Your tickets. And just fucking shipped him off and had him making a movie in a couple days. It was really interesting to hear from and see. Seems like a really great guy in real life.
Starting point is 01:03:51 I don't know. Just watching that quick YouTube video, I took away from it that he's thoughtful and intelligent and puts a lot more thought into what I think most people think of as goofball roles like WWE stuff than you would imagine i really liked him the first thing i saw him in was in that amy schumer movie called the uh
Starting point is 01:04:10 the hangover i think something like it wasn't the hangover it was something else it was um the design train wreck that's what it was thank you zach yeah something like that um and i'm not a big amy schumer fan by any means but that's a movie. And John Cena is a big part of what makes it funny. Like his physical humor, like him being kind of goofy and quirky and vulnerable, while at the same time being like a Hulk of a man, like in his tighty whities. That juxtaposition is really comical and funny and something that like Arnold was never willing to do. He didn't want to be the butt of the joke. He was kind of the joke. If anything... Kindergarten cop and twins.
Starting point is 01:04:46 He was kind of the hero. He beat up the crowd of people. He's fish out of water. That's fish out of water. That's not butt of joke. Because whenever there's a confrontation, there was the one... What about Jingle All the Way?
Starting point is 01:04:59 He got fucked up in Jingle All the Way and was like a putz of a dad. Yeah. Now, that's an abomination of a film like like that that's the one where like he's trying to get the sin bad isn't it maybe yeah yeah sin bad all right well yeah that's him doing a kid's thing that that's just schlock that's not even bad might be dead i haven't heard it have you guys seen john cena's reality show overweight i have not seen uh john cena's tv show okay. I watched a little bit of it in the gym.
Starting point is 01:05:26 And it was actually kind of fun because the one episode was his girlfriend was mad at him because he was more famous or whatever. So she wanted to challenge him to something. And obviously, like you said, a Hulk of a man, she can't win anything. So it was like checkers and putt-putt golf. And no matter what she did, John Cena just crushed her, like dominated her at putt-putt. And then he's like, you know what? We're going to do go-karts because you're like 300 pounds or something. And no matter what she did, John Cena just crushed her, like dominated her putt putt. And then he's like, you know what? We're going to do go-karts
Starting point is 01:05:47 because you're like 300 pounds or something. And I'm a little model. And he like picks out the fastest cart so he has a better advantage and then immediately like takes her
Starting point is 01:05:55 and like blocks her and like won't let her pass the entire way. And it's like a whole episode of him kind of being like a playful dick to his girlfriend. And somehow it was
Starting point is 01:06:03 very endearing instead of as abusive as I am describing it. no it doesn't sound abuse it sounds more like they were laughing it's not like he was like you stupid cunt you'll never win like she would just pick things that she would need like dainty hands for or like little challenges into like huge john cena would like come in oh i can sew too yeah yeah i can sew too it Yeah. Yeah. I can sew too. It's like those Michael Jordan, Mia Hamm commercials. Endearing is a good way to describe John Cena because that's what I took from that GQ video that I watched of him.
Starting point is 01:06:32 And man, I really dig this show. It's not fucking like, I don't know, the best acting ever or anything. Don't come to it for that. It's not bad by any means, but it's a funny, dirty, foul mouth, crude, violent. come to it for that uh it's not bad by any means but but it's you know it's it's a funny dirty like foul mouthed dirty i want to tell him that i was surprised because i think of john cena as a very g-rated character who wouldn't want to soil his image maybe i'm off on this but i've only ever
Starting point is 01:06:57 seen him be kind of pure and family friendly he is dude he's buck naked fucking women in in this thing that sex scene is so good like like it it's so over the top that it's not even gratuitous like like like you couldn't jerk off to it i guess is what i'm saying you can only laugh at it challenge accepted i'm like the choker i'm later on he fuck laughing I don't want to spoil it but later on he talks about the sex and he's like I made her cum four times I feel like that should be noted that I made her cum four times
Starting point is 01:07:32 how is that relevant? I guess it's not I just wanted to slip it in I didn't think you'd notice he's talking to the girl and he's like oh that was great I haven't had sex with a woman in a long time he's been in jail and then when he talks about his dick being so big that it hurts people. No, no.
Starting point is 01:07:50 It's too big. It hurts people. They called me chip arm in school. Isn't John Cena a human or is he super? No, he's just a regular human being who was trained from childhood by his father, who was a supervillain himself. Yeah, the racist supervillain yeah the racist yeah yeah super racist man are you sure he's meant to have like literally no superpowers because he does some stuff like
Starting point is 01:08:12 durability jumps off a rooftop uh i don't think he is a meta human i think that he is like a batman type yes figure talk about it in suicide squad where him and deadshot meet and he's like, well, I'm stronger, I'm faster, I can shoot better than almost anybody alive and Deadshot's like, well, that's the same as me. So they're not genetically different, superpowered, but they're super well trained. They're exceptional Olympic athlete level
Starting point is 01:08:38 people. Yeah, exactly. The way it's always described in lore is peak human physical capability. Whatever that is. Okay, he bench presses 450, he squats 1,000, and he can run a mile in four minutes.
Starting point is 01:08:54 He's a bad motherfucker. Were there rewind flashback clips of John Cena's dad? Like the supremacist. A lot of that. Or whatever his name is, and and he's like I'll save that water fountain citizen and like he just
Starting point is 01:09:09 bullies Blackula I noticed something troubling on the front of that bus and just flies away what you doing here boy and just like jet packs them away but just to the back of the bus it's a very short flight know your place citizen
Starting point is 01:09:27 and then flies away like no i took it to be that he was like a terrorist essentially uh more than anything because that's kind of and when you see his costume it's awesome it's one of the cooler costumes in all of comic books i think the horns and everything he's he's the white dragon character build-up was intimidating too like they did a really good job yeah robert the former t-1000 terminator now playing a uh a racist super villain actually kind of works yeah um i i liked uh i like robert patrick as an actor um uh everything he's been in, I've always really appreciated him. I love that one insult that the Asian police officer throws at him. She calls him a walking scrotum.
Starting point is 01:10:11 It's like, holy shit. They wrote that line thinking of Robert Patrick. There's no way they wrote that line and then they cast Robert Patrick after. They were like, what would you call Robert Patrick? Call him a fucking walking scrotum. look at this fuck get out of sun rob you're gonna you know you know what his you're like a vampire who got
Starting point is 01:10:29 who almost got burnt up by the sun is that the guy you're talking about the white dragon yeah yeah okay like this guy's hair it looks like he always just like grabbed a live wire like merv from uh from home alone but i'm looking at his outfit. Marv. Marv, yeah. His outfit with the horns. Okay, this is a very cool looking outfit. The horns, not a good move if you're a good guy character, though. He's not a good guy
Starting point is 01:10:55 character. No, he's a villain. No, but he thought he was a good guy. No, he didn't. He knew what he was. It's Peacemaker who has this sort of like... Right, yeah, because Peacemaker thinks he's a hero. He thinks, you know, I'm going to go out and do good in the world and blah, blah, blah. didn't he knew what he was oh okay it's peacemaker who has this sort of like right yeah because peacemaker thinks he's a hero you know he thinks you know i'm gonna go out and do good in the world and blah blah but he's hindered because his dad like fucked him up as a kid and he's basically a fucked up person now this picture the outfit looks terrible he looks glow-in-the-dark it looks
Starting point is 01:11:18 cheap that's under like really bright lights like in his like laboratory that's the most look it's a show about people who like it's a show about a lot of nonsense but the fact that robert patrick has some sort of like pocket dimension and in his in his ruck room is a little far-fetched yeah he's created he's literally created like some sort of pocket dimension and like i'm just nerdy enough to know that that's nonsensical um and and then he's he's and he like pushes a cut look it's it's a good it's a good show it's fun to watch it's popcorn show um there's there's some great titties there's some amazing gore there is a i i all upset about i'm not gonna spoil anything but
Starting point is 01:11:58 battle at some point is done with an intelligent gorilla. Okay? And you're going to want to... That's like one of the coolest things I've seen in a long time. I fell asleep in that part. As intelligent as you can imagine. Like more intelligent than you. No. That is a good spelling.
Starting point is 01:12:19 That's a reasonably okay guy. I thought it was Gorilla Grodd. But it turned out not to be. That's what a lot of people... People keep asking me that. I'm like, no, Grodd. But it turned out not to be. That's what a lot of people are like. People keep asking me that. I'm like, no, no, no. It's not that. Gorilla Grodd and CW. It's a great show. Check it out. HBO Max,
Starting point is 01:12:36 I guess, or wherever you get your HBO. Or wherever you download your shows illegally. Wherever you get your shows illegally. And so we're talking about shows and stuff. So I was doing a little more research on the lord of the rings upcoming show and kyle i i don't know if you know this like they didn't buy the rights to unfinished tales or the silmarillion they only bought rights to Lord of the Rings trilogy and the Hobbit trilogy.
Starting point is 01:13:08 And so they're not going to have any characters from the first stage, the Silmarillion, Unfinished Tales. It's just going to be the Amazon writers with like two anchor characters like Elrond and Galadriel and then just inventing a story of made-up characters to exist around them in the world it is going to be terrible they don't even have the rights
Starting point is 01:13:30 to tell the full story the way it's meant to so it's literally just going to be they bought a version of the Tolkien world and now they're going to invent characters that never existed to interact with characters that somewhat did exist and then ones that did like Elrond and Galadriel in ways that never happened so it's like what are we doing here guys come come on so you need to buy the
Starting point is 01:13:50 rights to the silmarillion if you're going to tell a historical tale through the first or the second age i'm predicting another boba fett man it's going to be just like the boba fett so i'm really good i'm really good at judging books by covers and i feel like i dodge a lot of nonsense i just go to the library and i just look at books and i just i i dodge a lot of nonsense skills like i just go to the library and i just look at books and i just i just get a good sense of them you know so-called being racist i wasn't i didn't mean literal fucking books although although i could probably judge them quite well by their covers no you know kyle does have a good intuitive ability with tv shows and movies he does this um i i'll tell you this i i watched mandalorian so religiously and i have like
Starting point is 01:14:29 mandalorian like merch like i'm a big fan like i've got like tank tops and like i got a helmet in the other room like i'm really into it i dig it i got one of those fucking uh what's what's the little fucking green cocksucker i got one one of them. And I saw Mandalorian coming a mile away. I didn't watch a single episode. I haven't seen it. I haven't even smelled a whiff of the reviews. I don't need to know because I saw pictures of the Mandalorian
Starting point is 01:14:56 and I could beat him to death if you gave him, if you put him in his Mandalore armor and he kicked my fucking door in right now. I'd beat him to death with whatever, that tripod that that camera is on right now. I could kill that fucking actor in his full
Starting point is 01:15:11 armor with, give him that staff or whatever the fuck that chunky elderly get there at 4pm for dinner because it's $7 off. In some ways, he did kill the mountain. I don't know why. Old country coupon bringing bitch. You're thinking the Mandalorian. In some ways, he did kill the mountain. I don't know why. Old country. You're thinking of the Mandalorian.
Starting point is 01:15:30 I'm not fucking with the Mandalorian. He's slick with it. That guy's probably actually. Pedro Pascal. No, I'm talking about Boba Fett. Boba Fett. The old guy who's doing action and he's clearly bulging out of the armor and they have a
Starting point is 01:15:44 Finnick Shan. He's like trying to pose and be cool like standing straight up doing the single handed pistol shot. It's a real iconic like pose you can take. Not for Boba Fett, for like action, right? Man standing holding gun. It's very iconic. There's a few ways to do
Starting point is 01:16:01 it and it looks good from various angles. He's trying to do one where shoulders are back, chest is forward. He's like this. The problem is when he does that, he doesn't present his chest and shoulders back like a big superhero man. He's got a bulging gut. He's got a plate of armor that is powerful. The armor isn't wide enough to cover his love handles. There's a scene. I saw this. Powerful. The armor isn't wide enough to cover his love handles. Nor should it be.
Starting point is 01:16:25 There's a scene. I saw this. Someone linked me a gif. Or a jif, if you prefer. Where he's getting accosted. Him and his Asian assassin friend. Who was cool. I'd rather watch her show.
Starting point is 01:16:36 I bet she's cool in his show. Because I liked her in The Mandalorian. The Asian assassin lady. She's in a lot of stuff. She's also in the Street Fighterorian the asian assassin lady yeah they're like getting a lot of stuff uh she's also in uh the street fighter movie she's um oh who's the legs uh chun li in that one okay okay are you gonna draw this back to lord of the rings or are you just making a mandalorian comparison oh we're shifting gears no like i'm just talking about like i can i can smell a rat coming i can smell a rat coming and and and i'm not gonna watch a single episode of lord of the
Starting point is 01:17:03 rings unless it's of those things where everybody is freaking out. It's like taking over pop culture and everybody is saying quotes from it. If that happens, I'm like, Kyle was wrong again and I'll jump on board. The question is, did y'all watch Boba Fett?
Starting point is 01:17:21 No. Gina Carano is fatter than Boba Fett. That guy looks like he's 62 years old. That guy is 62 years No. Gina Carano was fatter than Boba Fett. That guy looks like he's 62 years old. That guy is 62 years old. And Gina Carano, in the first season, she got fatter. She was okay, I thought. Yeah, but it all went to her tits. Look, I think she's still hot when she's chunky, to be fair.
Starting point is 01:17:39 She's looking pretty fucking good. You ever seen that video of that big, white, trash, fat woman who smashed a Coors Light can with her big heavy tit? Yeah, yeah. She could do that. Gina Carano is literally like a model. Look, she got too chunky to be an action star.
Starting point is 01:17:56 That's all we're fucking saying around here. And that old man right there, I think it's really cool that they cast him as Boba Fett. I just wish they'd done it 15 fucking years and 35 fucking pounds ago when he maybe could have done it. Because he is not Ewan McGregor, who's still looking pretty fucking good. This dude looks old.
Starting point is 01:18:16 And look, this is his best shot. Notice the helmet is covering a lot of his mass. The helmet is so well positioned. Look at that big old belt. Why is that belt three inches thick? Because it's a girl. That looks a lot like my belt. The fucking girdle he's wearing.
Starting point is 01:18:31 You can see it in the show when he has it on and he's stretching. You can see the bulges under these armor. You can see the breastplate. It'll like, instead of just coming down flat, it'll go down and angle out a bit. That's a titty plate. That's not a breastplate. That's a titty plate that's not a breastplate that's a titty plate because that man is overweight and he's too old to play that role and and if they're gonna like the worst part is even when he's got the helmet on apparently
Starting point is 01:18:54 they're not making him like they're like like throwing a stunt double in there or some shit like because i saw that thing where like some robots were poking him with some like energy spear and he was doing some fucking like kung fu shit block him or like grab him you know do that badass shit and it looked weak you ever see somebody work a heavy bag that can like work a heavy bag yeah or you know anything boxing related something with your hands something combat related yeah and you're like holy shit that guy is like an athlete this guy can't do that this guy he doesn't like all the bullets in his bandolier are different. Yeah, then, I don't,
Starting point is 01:19:28 none of this makes any sense, but you talk about old people and being too old to do action, you pull the image back up, guess how old the actress next to him is? Well, Asian people don't fucking crack, dude. She's probably 50. 58. 56. Damn it. She's 58. Oh, no, I was close, I was close. Still doing her own stunts. Wow. She's looking great, and that's what she looks
Starting point is 01:19:43 like in real life. This isn't a show with movie magic and you know filters and makeup that's her taylor taylor hang on no i guarantee this woman looks exactly that age in real life i'm fucking around all right here's the thing taylor i i i'm i'm very quick to believe that sort of thing out of people but the problem is she's next to craggle rock there and, and, and they've struggled to make fraggle rock. No, that's craggle rock.
Starting point is 01:20:12 His aggro crag. I'm sure that like, if there's like movie fuckery or Photoshop editing that can be done, it was done. And this is the best they could make this man look, look, he's not as fucking superhero. Come on. I'm not watching i don't dislike his face like i haven't seen the show but he does like it like boba fett if he's a bit if he's getting on he's aging a bit like
Starting point is 01:20:35 he does look like a guy that used to be very intense and used to be very fit right like he's not really maybe it's the bald brow intensity this is the guy this is the guy who played um the character or look it gets convoluted maybe because they're clones and one of the clones treated a clone of his ass his son so just fuck all that convoluted nonsense aside this guy was the character in um the like the trilogy in the early 2000s like Oh, this is the guy that confused me because they used him as clone material and then there's
Starting point is 01:21:12 white, black, Asian clone troopers in the future. But it was all gathered from this guy. Okay, but we're going to recruit people later because the clones started dying. After a while, the clones were degrading in quality and the source material was...
Starting point is 01:21:27 And I think maybe the clone place got destroyed or something. There was a whole... Anyway, they had to start recruiting. There was also some political stuff going back and forth. Like one side is like, clones are what we need. And the other side is like, my special troop doesn't matter. It's nerdy shit. But later on, they're recruited.
Starting point is 01:21:41 That's why you got like Black Storm troopers and stuff. Is there anything in The Mandalorian... i think it's from episode one those like cool robots they made to kill jedi that i don't think ever succeeded in killing the jedi that have shields and they roll like a like a sand shrew from pokemon so not like sand shrew stuff but like and they go with the did you not watch the mandalorian no no i watched up until bill burr was on the scene and then i stopped well there's that kill bot thing right the one who's like a main character almost who's got uh benny played by taika yeah yeah i was meaning like that more uh oh that's more like arachnid looking thing with the curved back almost no no that's some george lucas shit
Starting point is 01:22:21 that needs to stay away that i thought that was cool. But also the last time I saw those movies, I remember my main takeaway was that General Grievous was the coolest thing ever. Yes. Because I was like 12, 13 when I saw that. Yeah. And I was like, I remember watching being like, man, that's going to be a damn shame if Yoga takes this guy out
Starting point is 01:22:41 because he's a robot. He's got four lightsabers. They're not even the bullshit like one half ones that seem like they'd be's a robot. He's got four lightsabers. They're not even the bullshit like one half ones that seem like they'd be counterintuitive. He's got four programmed. Like helicopter blades just going to town. There was no excuse for him to lose to Yoda. He would buttfuck Yoda. Unless Yoda used the force,
Starting point is 01:22:57 which General Grievous probably couldn't because you probably need to be alive to use the force. No, he was alive. Yeah, he was a cyborg. He was not a full robot considerably a human like second most alien the best swordsman i don't know but yoda was i you're as wise as master yoda and as powerful as master mace windu bad acting trilogy and like who who was mace windu count dooku that's who it was no that was uh christopher lee was count dooku and he was my favorite character like as far as just the intimidating
Starting point is 01:23:31 presence of his nature like he was so booming on that box yeah he was so he and he played saruman to a t he played bad guys for like 65 years so well i bet he did a dracula here and there yes he was in the old uh hammer dracula films in the 70 he would play both van helsing and dracula in different films like real cheap ones i've come to realize that i think obi-wan kenobi is the best character in all of star wars i think he's got the coolest story um everybody else is a fucking like their story is either like i don't know it's poorly written or just like i don't like how for those of us who don't know what is obi what is obi-wan's story obi-wan uh his like
Starting point is 01:24:10 his master's killed at the very beginning right and he and he's it is a responsibility to train the boy is like thrust upon him like all this responsibility he just has become like a master whatever now i'm meeting sorry i've pissed my pants and i can't keep training the drink has ruined my jedi skills he also drinks a lot apparently like you see him in the clone wars and stuff always like drinking alcohol and stuff so so the coolest part about him right is this like love story that he's got with um that that queen from that other planet her name escapes me but he's got like this the from that other planet. Her name escapes me. But he's got this... The Jedi are supposed to be warrior monks. So he's not supposed to be falling in love with this lady.
Starting point is 01:24:51 I think he could probably fuck her. I think that would be okay. But he loves this woman. And she loves him. And spoiler, that does not work out because his greatest enemy kills her in front of him, the same guy that killed his master. And he has to watch her die
Starting point is 01:25:05 and her dying words are like i always loved you and he's like i would have given up the jedi order to be with you and they just cry and she's happening in the movies or no this is clone wars clone wars and then like you know the whole does happen in the movie oh no this happens in the in the tv series is canonical so series is canonical, so it happens. It's real. It's as real as any of the rest of Star Wars, right? But I'm just saying his story is the best. And then obviously losing Anakin, defeating
Starting point is 01:25:35 Anakin, whisking Luke away to Tatooine, overwatching him his entire childhood and into adulthood, and then guiding him into the force and then like giving his life for him they coming back as a force goes to continue to guide him like he's got the best story out of any of them luke story's fucking lame anakin story is even lamer and you know yoda yoda was around for thousands of years yoda's a
Starting point is 01:26:01 fucking quitter maybe yoda's a fucking quitter is what Yoda is. Go on. I mean, he lost that one fight with the Emperor. He's also short. He lost that one fight with the Emperor and then he retired to that swamp planet for like 25 fucking years. That is really embarrassing. Luke did that. Yoda did that. Probably someone else.
Starting point is 01:26:20 Well, Luke went because he needed some training, right? Oh yeah, of course. They all do it. they have to copy and paste the same story in over and over so of course of course ray had to go to like a planet and train with luke skywalker fuck all that shit fuck all that made-up dragon shit i am going to watch the ewan mcgregor thing though fucking fucking obi-wan kenobi show when that comes out it's a mini series like self it's contained like eight episodes or something dude it's so funny how i can like i can sit here and like you're talking about star wars and i'm like this is so stupid i can't believe it and meanwhile i'm
Starting point is 01:26:49 like and they're not following the canon of lord of the rings and they didn't buy the rights to the silver really which means all of our beloved characters from the first age of the second age are gonna be there no one knows the simmer really in characters tay They do. There are people that read that like the Bible, man. It is the ramblings of a madman. I've said it before. There is no flow. After I finished the Hobbit series, I read the Lord of the Rings series first and then the Hobbit series
Starting point is 01:27:15 and I was in middle school because that's when the movies were coming out. And then I was like, Simmerillion? This guy wrote more shit? I wonder what characters we're going to flesh out. And it is just him being like, and another thing in the first stage. Here's something Elendil was up to. Oh, also, God, I forgot the dwarves at the time.
Starting point is 01:27:32 The dwarves, they found out Mithril, but not quite modern Mithril, slightly different Mithril, and this was the mix. Oh, by the way, the elves also. Something I can't wait to... It's like a guy on Coke telling you a business idea, which if you guys have never been in that position, I'm sure many of you have where like people are doing a lot of Coke around you and they have an idea for something good. I would rather be trapped in an elevator
Starting point is 01:27:53 with a drunk person for two hours than have a 30 minute conversation with someone gacked out on Coke because it's like actively stressful. They tell you the same idea six times. They explain it five different ways. None of it makes sense. And it's all just like, and it's like actively stressful they tell you the same idea six times they explain it five different ways none of it makes sense and it's all just like and it's because i was going to be like yeah yeah it's going to be like it's like tinder but for like cats it's like it's like you know all the energy too because they totally believe it in the moment we're gonna call p for p pussy for pussy you know trying to get it going like it's so down it's a winning it's called nft bro just need a programmer tom cats tom tom cats that'd be that'd be a pretty good one pretty good one a great name well we're targeting a user base with no thumbs and no money right taylor i got a question for you if you're
Starting point is 01:28:41 going to be stuck in an innovator and not an innovator elevator do you want to be in there with the guy pitching you a regular business idea or somebody who really believes in NFTs and that's all they want to talk about? Definitely the NFT guy. Unless the original guy is giving me an in. If he's just describing to me a business
Starting point is 01:28:58 that's totally viable and I have nothing to gain, it's going to make me like, God damn it, this guy's way smarter than me. The NFT guy, I'll either be like, oh oh this guy's bragging about selling nfts he's probably a pretty smart guy making money or it'll be oh this guy's bragging about buying nfts he's probably a dumbass but taylor blockchain and there's don't you know they get registered no i don't even know what that means decentralizing art to warren buffett talk about bitcoin lately like i listened to it and then youtube is like this guy has a passion for
Starting point is 01:29:31 listening to warren buffett talk so i just start watching another and another like this youtube videos on warren buffett shit he hates bitcoin he fucking hates it and he does another guy like charlie mung or something who's like his partner or lover i don't know what the fuck he is he hates bitcoin just as much why do they say uh basically it doesn't do anything it doesn't have any value it doesn't produce anything like if you own stocks then you own a piece of a company that's making money that's doing a thing if you own land then you're owning like i don't know a part of a land that's producing a crop or whatever you own bitcoin you are literally just you're owning something that doesn't do anything hoping that down the road someone will pay more than you did for it and it will still not do anything and i get it
Starting point is 01:30:23 it's currency that's what currency does but um that But that's Warren Buffett's argument for it. And because I also don't know why cryptocurrency has value. I'm like, me and Warren Buffett, we think the same. Me and Warren Buffett, two peas in a pod. Combined, we're billionaires. two peas in a pod combined we're billionaires you imagine your youtube is all one about the video to wayne like yeah yes yes you're the 37th richest duo in the world that like yeah like i don't know anything like i'm in the same boat as you woody i don't really
Starting point is 01:31:04 get the crypto thing enough. But I see a lot of people putting it forward like, this is the future of currency. It's a way to get away from centralized government and power. But this is even less tangible than fiat cash. And so it is totally dependent on electrical grid and on all these servers and things running. And that confuses me where it's like if everything did go down and it's not going to happen.
Starting point is 01:31:30 But if there was a calamitous collapse of power grid structures, you know, food lines, supply chains, if that happened, it's your like it doesn't it's not really worth it. Your phone would still turn on. like it doesn't it's not really worth anything your phone would still turn on well yeah but some people think bitcoin would be more valuable then because if that happens maybe the u.s government doesn't have any value so what's the next best alternative that's what that makes sense too i don't know things like mlm it's like i don't know nfts i feel like are the easier one to pick on owning the rights to a stupid picture but other people can still use the picture but you own the rights to the stupid picture but but not a copyright just the flex rights you own the ability to say that you own it i don't know what i am rich app do you remember that one when iphone first
Starting point is 01:32:21 came out you could pay ten thousand dollars and put this little diamond on your phone and it just says, I am rich. Like a red ruby or something. Yeah. Yeah. I kind of feel like NFTs are like that. And the people that push them really hard are like those Karens at home that do MLMs and be like, I'm a CEO and entrepreneur of my own business. And let me tell you all about something. I don't even know what the hell all the MLMs are these days. And that's just what it's like. let me tell you about decentralization and the future of art and how we're going to change the world and did i tell you guys about the doordash person who was like advertising for their um their mlm like on the order was it oh no i want to hear this um um it was avon i think it was like one of those cosmetics like like multi-level marketing
Starting point is 01:33:05 things so like like i don't know i i ordered some uh hibachi it's like perfect thing to order like they'll give you so much fucking white rice and uh and like steak for like 12 dollars anyway and they give you shrimp in the middle as a bonus every time always a bonus shrimp you just gotta throw away that yum yum sauce and it's delicious meal jerry and uh so like i always wait till they leave like not only to to avoid like the awkwardly give me my food oh you need to take a picture of it you want me to sit it down or you want me to hold it you want to take a picture of me holding it do you my face in it like how does this work so i wait till they fucking leave and uh i go out there and i pick up my bag of food and it's got a sticker on there and it's like hey like it's got
Starting point is 01:33:44 one of those um qr codes or whatever that you can scan yeah and it's got a sticker on there and it's like hey like it's got one of those um qr codes or whatever that you can scan yeah and it's got like her alt is like hey i'm diane and this is my mlm like fucking diane and mary k yeah yeah like i'm fucking ceo and president and fucking queen bitch over here at this thing where i sell cosmetics uh i just stuck the sticker to your fucking doordash order so that you can uh be to me. And I'm just like, all right, I'm going to report you now. To DoorDash. So I file this whole report. I'm like, she's advertising her Avon cosmetic business in my order with stickers.
Starting point is 01:34:20 And she had been real persistent at the door. That was the other thing I left out. She knocked and yelled, Door Dasher! Door Dasher! And my note says, leave the shit and bounce, basically. And she's out there trying to get me, and I'm playing the waiting game now.
Starting point is 01:34:35 I'm just looking out the window laughing at her. I'm not going out there, but I am going to wait until you fuck up your driveway on my curb or your car on my curb. So she did that as well. But it was funny. The instant message back from DoorDash was like,
Starting point is 01:34:48 hey, this lady was advertising a multi-level marketing scheme in my order with a scannable picture and a note that she stuck on it. And they immediately reply back, how's $7 sound? And I'm like, that's good. That'll work. How's $7 sound? seven dollars yeah dude if you
Starting point is 01:35:07 like get into the chat function with anyone on like door dash postmates grub and pick any of those and if you're someone who's used it more than three times in the last month you can be like hey they dropped off the wrong food it was 62 bucks i can't even eat this because i'm allergic to whatever you can say whatever you want and they're like all right well uh go ahead and keep that food on us and here's 62 dollars yeah they're pretty good about it because well i mean i'm sure if it's your first run they're not going to be as as understanding but if they see someone like kyle on there they're like make this right like make this consumer happy amazon for for me. Amazon for sure.
Starting point is 01:35:45 If I get something that I'm not totally satisfied with from Amazon, I just take it to a Kohl's near my house in the box, and you just send it right back. Do you ever get your neighbor's Amazon stuff delivered? Yeah, because it's such a rush. The people are pushed so much, they'll just drive by and chunk it out of the truck or do it super fast, so sometimes they get a house or two off. off yeah i don't know how they fuck it up
Starting point is 01:36:07 so badly um i think my address is like really close to my neighbors um like the numbers are just like transposed or something but but he's just like i'm always getting their shit and i keep it i keep it all i'm keeping those fake eyelashes those are mine now i'm gonna put them on sometime i'm keeping beautiful for us i got that ginseng like fucking curcumin like like mick like like going right in the medicine cabinet bro with all the mlm skinny tea i think yeah is that one a skinny tea yeah that's an instagram thing every influencer sells skinny tea which will totally i'll flush the toxins out of your body along with about eight pounds of shit all these toxins are giving me a headache i need i need some tea clear my brain did you see that
Starting point is 01:36:49 pokey main tweet the other day oh about uh this face will earn more money than most of you will in a lifetime or whatever so people like took that the wrong way i think they took it as her like flexing on people like like i'm rich and you're poor what she's doing is like she's like no makeup and look she's an attractive woman obviously everybody's like melting down over how hot she is online but with no makeup she looks very ordinary i suppose you'd say like like that's that's a polite way of saying it and uh and she's just like this face um makes more money in a month than you'll ever see or something like that and i was like i like that i like that because i guarantee she's she's not like saying this out of the blue not her flexing hang on i guarantee that's
Starting point is 01:37:29 not her saying that out of the blue she didn't just wake up one day and say see this face this is the face that makes more money you'll ever see bitch she's responding to some hate she got i guarantee somebody i guarantee somebody said look at this ugly bitch without her makeup. And she was like, oh, yeah, this is a face that makes more money than you'll ever even see. She's not saying that to the world. No, no, no, no. That's how you show you're secure is you take something tweeted by a guy with 19 followers. And then you make something that gets 20,000 retweets to show how much you don't care. I've seen you for a ratio.
Starting point is 01:38:01 It doesn't bother me. I'm not coping in a huge way right like like come on like i don't know the situation but it is like uh it is a total woody is right that it's a total flex of like i make more money than you of course it's a flex but it's a flex in response to something not just there's a difference i'm sure it is i don't know shit about like like like like like if so if everybody's sitting there like there's a difference between like literally flexing for no reason and flexing because somebody thought you were weak like actually i'm not that weak look like like oh okay i was wrong
Starting point is 01:38:35 that's what she's doing they're saying you're ugly and she's like i'm ugly it's these looks that make more money than you'll ever actually i have lots of money ah come on i dug it i thought you think it was defending yourself and i don't look look that's not it's not a good comeback if a dude tweeted that you would be like dude cope like no no no no it's no no no it's like remember when they were going after vin diesel for being like chubby between roles like? This is a guy who transforms his body whenever he needs to to make another $15, $30 million. And in the meantime, the picture of him being chubby, by the way,
Starting point is 01:39:14 he's on a yacht with beautiful women. Yeah, that is tight. They're like, look at, what do they call him? They came up with a pun for chubby Vin Diesel or whatever. And they're making fun of him and it's like come on this is the guy whose physique has launched one of the biggest movie franchises in existence with this fast and the furious thing it's not my my uh thing but every time they make one vin diesel say in response to that he got jacked again and made another fucking fast and the furious. So he didn't tweet about it? No, of course he didn't tweet about it.
Starting point is 01:39:49 He was busy being balls deep and all the women on the boat. He was too busy with his successful life. Oh, you don't like my Audi? You should see the woman sucking my dick right now. Look at how much his forehead wrinkles look like the pie sign. That's wild. 3.1. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:40:08 Look at that. Oh, my God. It's exact. It really does. 3.14. Put the Twilight Zone music as Zach zooms in. That's really funny. Man, he has got an Audi.
Starting point is 01:40:23 Belly button's not an any that I'm Audi. No, I don got an Audi. If your belly button's not an innie, then I'm outie. No, I don't actually know anything about Pokimane, so I don't know what hate she was responding to. It's just, as a rule, when I've seen celebrities and popular people, as a response, like, take a picture of them holding money and stuff, it's like, well, that's not that impressive of a thing. I'm kind of with you. It's kind of weak sauce most of the time. Can I just say, like... I'm kind of with you. It's kind of weak sauce.
Starting point is 01:40:45 Can I just say like... I've got lots of money. It's like, yeah, everyone knows that. Can I ask you this, Taylor? If you knew that she made an absolutely astounding amount of money, would that change your mind? Like if I wasn't talking about 5 million, I was talking about 50,
Starting point is 01:40:59 would you be like, oh, I had no idea? Does that matter? No, not at all. If anything, if you have 50 million, you should be like, people are being angry on Twitter. That's hilarious. I'm on a yacht right now. I don't know what she does.
Starting point is 01:41:14 I don't either. I have no real feelings about her in general. My only exposure to her is that she's got a rust skin, and I see a lot of these fucking weebs putting her as either if someone has her skin on their base it's either done ironically or you know this is a lame fuck it is usually the case because it's pretty i'm just saying maybe i'm missing context
Starting point is 01:41:35 but saying she's just i have a lot of money as a own is not impressive like look yeah there you go the space make the space makes more money than you'll ever see in your life. I like that. I like that drop. I like it. Didn't she move from Twitch and she's yet to announce the new platform which everybody suspects will be either YouTube or Facebook, which is probably another
Starting point is 01:41:58 multi-million dollar contract for her. So she's doing good. And Amaranth, if y'all know her, she bought an inflatable company and a gas station and Amaranth, if y'all know her, she bought an inflatable company and a gas station and all this crazy stuff. Y'all remember the pool girl? The hot tub stream? Amaranth is not the pool girl. Amaranth is the multi-millionaire
Starting point is 01:42:14 like... She's been buying inflatable pool companies. She's gonna be the queen of pools. Inflatable pool companies? How many people are buying those apparently her so amaranth is making millions and millions of dollars from her only fans every month that's why she's on twitch on asmr um and and i was talking to finster that about this the other
Starting point is 01:42:35 day um about like the gargantuan amount of money that amaranth is bringing in and look again like it's not a corner of the internet that i'm like plugged into the same thing with the pokey main stuff but i was explaining to somebody like last night or the night before what asmr was and whenever somebody doesn't know i have to like pull up twitch real quick on my tv and show them and there she is like you know she's incredibly attractive like she's a beautiful beautiful woman and she's she's sucking on two ears and god knows how long she'd been sucking those ears because like i came back three hours later and I was like, you want to see something funny? And I opened it again.
Starting point is 01:43:06 She's still sucking the mirrors. You know, she's working at it. Like, like, like I wonder what does your mouth get sore after three, four hours. I mean,
Starting point is 01:43:14 I bet it tastes like, like latex. My observation is their mouth gets sore way, way before then. Yeah. It's like, sometimes just, I can only get off if,
Starting point is 01:43:24 if my wife whispers at my dick like your wife is a literal dick whisperer you know hard dick and then she's like i'm gonna suck this at some point and i'm like oh yeah keep whispering at me oh my what if you did when you get older and you get kinkier, she starts crinkling saran wrap next to your dick. Oh, no. It's really great. Oh, yeah. Make some sea sounds. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:43:49 Ooh, give me the fog horn. Look at about the food stuff. The weird, like, squishing, like, tomatoes and tearing lettuce and carrots. And you're just going to have all this, like, food all over you. We have strayed so far from God's light. Dudes.
Starting point is 01:44:03 So some of the ASMR people are like genuinely doing ASMR. Like they're trying to create some sort of soundscape to like maybe relax you or help you sleep or whatever their goal is. But like most of them are just like titty girls that want to get as like sexually provocative as possible. But it's fun to scan through like from most watched all the way to the right to like you're going to have a single viewer stuff. It gets weird there. it gets weird there it gets weird there can you do asmr just like a yes probably yeah you can jump right in there right now like oh so here's what i see i see a lot he is playing a flute it's not a skin flute but it's a fluke it's like i was gonna say that you see a lot of yeah and another thing i've noticed that no i i know what the bit is i'm waiting for you i know wait
Starting point is 01:44:51 i know i know it all seriousness all right what was i saying yeah go ahead well now i don't remember talking about asmrs and deep throating ears some of them are actually doing like legit asmr like like they've got like like i don't know like fun things to listen to they're scratching on things or crinkling things or what have you and then i saw oh then i saw i saw one guy and he's just like leaning back and forth in his seat making making it squeak. And I was like, wings missed his fucking calling. Like, Jesus Christ, if we'd only known.
Starting point is 01:45:34 That guy has three viewers and they are just listening. Okay, do you guys like ASMR? I'm just going to say I genuinely never saw the appeal to it and even the really gentle asmr videos they tend to make me very angry it's just the noise won't stop i find it very grating i listen to asmr porn while driving by myself and uh you know it keeps you up what yeah there is asmr porn you can search for that on pornhub okay no i believe that so what is what did you do 10 and 2 or one hand on the wheel yeah it was 10 and 2 except it was right here except only one hand kind of 10 2 and 6 if you can picture that so did you just pick the first one that came up yes well i'm driving i can't spend a lot of time
Starting point is 01:46:33 and uh but basically it's a woman telling you how much she would like to be having sex with you and if you're like sleepy and nothing keeps you up, it does. Jesus. That's really, that's really sad. This is a pro tip. This is a pro tip. You remember 10 years ago when Wings told us Bing was where it's at? Look, if you're sleeping while you're driving, this is where it's at. Does your wife know that you do this?
Starting point is 01:47:02 Not yet. Does she watch the show? Not until Saturday in this episode. She doesn't in this episode oh yeah she's not on the internet thank god taylor you were talking about that being sad uh when i first got uh my vr headsets i was testing stuff out on youtube which by the way i'm gonna oh my god is it stuck that's lovely these little guys 4k vr they're literally sunglasses. They've been super fun. But I'm just like testing out videos on YouTube. And I found a VR section where you're supposed to put on glasses and it's not quite pornographic, but you just have like a loving wife or a girlfriend.
Starting point is 01:47:36 It's the saddest thing I've ever seen because the whole section is you come home and there's a lady like, hi, honey, how was your day? I really missed you. I cooked you dinner. And you like reach out, honey, how was your day? I really missed you. I cooked you dinner. And you like reach out, like give you a pat and just generally be supportive for like 15 minutes.
Starting point is 01:47:50 And there's just like a whole section of that. Tons of views. So there's tons of guys just there in their VR headsets being told how great it is that they're back. Dude, that is so fucking sad. Like these poor guys are just like, they want some kind of affirmation or attention like and they've they're going to vr to get like this the end point of this is not nice
Starting point is 01:48:13 like the end the end point of a huge number of men who are not able to socialize to the extent that they can get laid them resorting and kind of distancing from reality and joining the VR movement as this gets more advanced. Pretty scary. This is a moment in history where you can rally the people with your conservative dog whistles to go back to conservative ways.
Starting point is 01:48:37 Put the women back in the game. Back to 2019 when the Blues won the Cup. But no further than just 2019. 2019. That's what I'm wondering. It's actually specifically June of 2019. Wasn't I in prison? Well, but the Blues were winning the Cup, man.
Starting point is 01:48:56 You win some, you lose some. We all have sacrifices to make. I hated June of 2019. It was scary. Dude, but think about it. Like if VR gets wildly realistic, which it will, because technology seems like a continuous march,
Starting point is 01:49:12 albeit slowly or quickly through different things. And there are a bunch of guys who grow up entirely online because that's how all socialization happens. And they feel uncomfortable in real life, conversing with women, having conversations, coming on to them, making a move, whatever it is it is and if they decide instead you know what path of least
Starting point is 01:49:29 resistance i can get a more accurate skinny big-titted vr bitch to suck my dick while i put this machine on there or fuck like like that is absolutely coming you would imagine right it is uh so teen sex is at an all-time low right now because of stuff like that. Not if Kyle has anything to say about it. God damn right! If you don't think I was about... If you don't think he stole the word about it, then you're just out of your
Starting point is 01:49:55 goddamn glory. That's why we're such good friends. What about the incel army out there? What about when they finally get fed up of not being able to have sex and they want real girlfriends instead of digital ones? What happens? I don't know. Like, I imagine.
Starting point is 01:50:11 Well, that might for some of them, it would be a good thing, like force them to go out and get a haircut and go to a bar or go to a club or something. People think that like showers and parties are the only place to meet women, which is like a Hollywood thing. That's not true at all. You can join a club. You can go to the park. Walk a dog. Walk. Get a cute dog and walk it around the park.
Starting point is 01:50:31 You're welcome. You're welcome. Find a cute dog that belongs to a hot woman. Kidnap them both. You're made in the shade. Well, wait. You don't have to kidnap her. Just the dog.
Starting point is 01:50:41 No. She's the key part. No. If you find a chick that was going to the same park every day, you know, a routine and stuff, if you can nap that dog, then show up three days later, which is really distraught, you know, with the dog. I didn't think, oh, you were saying steal the dog to demonstrate your value. Yes. Okay. Well, that's perfect. I call this the hero play. Okay. You're coming in. Or a.k.a.
Starting point is 01:51:04 finders keepers. find the dog you keep her yeah yeah and she needs to pay you back to get the dog or you'll wink wink usually don't have to pound yeah usually don't have to take it to that place but one way or the other we're going to pound town like like and you and the dog no you well someone is someone is um it's up to her listen lady two of the three of us are fucking today and it might it might just be her and the dog and you have to sit in your sad corner of kookery and watch you never know that this is taking such a weird fucking turn this was funny when we started and it was just i'm still laughing you're just getting cuck getting cocked by her dog.
Starting point is 01:51:46 Damn, that cocker spaniel is hung. Yeah, he kidnaps the dog and brings her back and she's like, oh my god you brought him back. She just goes to make it out with the dog right there. Just right in front of you. Deep throat in the dog. Small shifting gears.
Starting point is 01:52:01 What do you think about people who kiss their dogs a little too much? How much is too much? I'm a pretty big dog kisser. I'm a dog kisser too. First of all... What if my mouth is closed, but I'm hard? Problematic.
Starting point is 01:52:18 I mean, my mouth is closed, but I'm not going to disclose where I kiss my dog. Are you like Winnie the Poo-ing it during the dog? What if my mouth is open and he's hard because both my then you know what your mouth at this point exactly taylor uh i i i keep my mouth closed but but like he can like lick you know like on the bottom of my face lick my forehead or something that's all right that's that's funny dog kisses but i've seen those people who are like full-on like tongue kissing their dogs like where the dog's tongue is like going all up in their mouth and doing that. You know how dog's tongue is like go into like peanut butter jars and explore like they're doing that to people's mouths.
Starting point is 01:52:55 And you brought that up because if the dog's tongue goes in your mouth and you're being kind of a weirdo. On the other hand, if you just slather peanut butter on you, it's the dog who's being a weirdo and not me. Couldn't agree more. I think you've got that backwards. He's hungry. You're disturbed. I'm just sitting there. Being excited, I assume. I mean, it's exciting.
Starting point is 01:53:18 I love my dog. I love my dog! I get so aroused every time my dog comes in the room. He's such a good boy. He's such a good boy. He's trained him so well. Just a great Dane.
Starting point is 01:53:33 The dog's just gaining huge amounts of weight. Getting multiple jars of peanut butter a day. Oh yeah. Just a great Dane dick. I was on this Redditdit thread like a red santa hanging down they said what's the weirdest thing you've ever seen at a sleepover or done or something like that i saw that thread okay so a couple of them were like you know i threw up at
Starting point is 01:53:56 a sleepover i did this i got my first period at a sleepover stuff like that and there was one woman who she was like it was an all-girl sleepover and one of the girls there was like i know somebody else who can masturbate by hanging from the corner of a closet i picture like the door sills but i'm not sure the casing and she would do like a pull up and sort of rub her her mound on the door that was how she masturbated probably fit as shit that's kind of impressive that was the point so she she said she knows someone else who does it and demonstrated it and then that the girls telling the story was like then i realized just how fucking jacked she was i tried it i could barely suspend myself and she's like just doing pull-ups on this door like
Starting point is 01:54:43 look at what my friend does this then her arms are fucking Arnold Schwarzer arms he's just got like only has delts that's the only thing that's all damn good for her that's impressive strength yeah I'm kind of imagining a girl now that looks like Derek I'm picturing Linda Hamilton in that scene in t2 when they like look into her like room like see what she's up to like yeah this is Sarah Connor and she's in there like like cranking out those like did you know that's a real scene those real deal man pull-ups where she's fucking getting up above the bar fucking putting her chest on the goddamn thing and she's cranking them out on a medical bed she's upended so hardcore she's jack is fucking that movie she is very very fit in
Starting point is 01:55:25 that movie she's a very believable athletic female protagonist because you get people all the time like there's a scene where this superhero you know doesn't look like she's tough and it's like okay fair that superhero did clearly wasn't on a weightlifting regimen before she joined the marvel team but like yeah there's a scene alien she looks great that's a different movie oh yeah you're thinking about sigourney weaver who also fantastic female protagonist sigourney weaver was also jacked but not as no and uh well they had vascas in there sigourney weaver had little little tucks in the corner of her she was sigourney weaver was always like a wisp of a little girl um but but but she's like a really great actress and she played a badass character. But she was never like that.
Starting point is 01:56:05 She got a little bit jacked in Resurrection, but that was that thing where they put you through those Hollywood boot camps to get a 45, 48-year-old actress in shape to be in another movie. And she had gotten in shape for that. And that's the best physically she ever looked, the closest she ever looked to muscular. Look at her ass in Terminator 1. That's the flattest ass you've ever seen i'm actually kind of agreeing with so in my mind she was really kind of a badass and i'm thinking about all the
Starting point is 01:56:32 roles she played kind of um in a leather jacket and dressed up where you couldn't see her body yeah she's a little skinny girl like she was never a badass physically she was always she always had a gun or a loader it was her bravery and her life and the fact that she was the one who would be like whatever one would just shut the fuck up and listen just listen and stop panicking like she was that character and and you know she was the she's in the loader she comes out so get away from her you bitch fucking great so good she's a badass she's an action hero action star and uh one of my favorites i think i projected a athlete's physique on her because yeah the role she played that's that's like that's just her doing a good job at like portraying a badass you know that you think of
Starting point is 01:57:16 her that way you know i i don't think of danny devito as quite as short as he is but i bet if you saw him we'd all be shocked even though we know he's like 4'10 or something. Yeah, he is like 4'10. I feel like all the Hollywood on-camera figures are just two inches smaller than you think they are. They are. You've seen Tom Cruise? Tom Cruise is like 5'6". For the longest time when I was watching Sonny,
Starting point is 01:57:39 when season one, two, or I guess not one, but two and three came out when I was in college, that they would... Danny DeVito would be standing there, and I guess not one, but two and three came out when I was in college that they would like Danny DeVito be standing there and he's so little. I would see Mac and Dennis. And in my head, I was always like, damn, Mac and Dennis must be like six, two or something like tall. And then like you look them up online or like in like five, ten, five, nine. Are there Hollywood heights, which subtract a bit from that.
Starting point is 01:58:07 And it's like, damn, what is it with actors and just being smaller people as a whole? And that's what helps actors like The Rock, who is 6'4", 6'5", whatever it is. He comes in and he looks like a giant compared to this guy who claims he's 5'10", but he's 5'6". No, he does those movies with Kevin Hart to play it up. Kevin Hart, a lot of his bits are how little he is, so he's not trying to hide how tiny he is. Of course not. Whereas Tom Cruise would want to hide how tiny.
Starting point is 01:58:37 Do you think Tom Cruise would ever want to take a photo standing shoulder to shoulder with The Rock or Liam Hemsworth? What's his name? Chris Hemsworth? Chris Hemsworth. Liam Hems lee is liam hensworth what's his name chris himsworth liam himsworth is the other himsworth who my dad knows either way one of those guys like he would never want to take a photo there because they would look like so disparate the other thing about actors that surprises me is when you see them outside their roles they tend to be nerdy effeminate theater geeks and it partly of course they are right they were all the nerdy effeminate like high school theater guys
Starting point is 01:59:12 who probably got way more sex than you know well everyone yeah i was gonna say about but uh when you see steve rogers play captain america he's such a badass. I'm watching Ewan McGregor now do his motorcycle trip around the world. And he is like, I don't know, kissy, snuggly. He's not a badass action hero like he plays on TV. He's a theater geek, and it just comes out all the time. That's why Sean Connery was so cool. Yes, I smacked her because she was sometimes a woman. She keeps talking to you and then you
Starting point is 01:59:46 she keeps wanting the last word and you give her it to her but she won't stop there and what are you supposed to do other than give her a smack and do you barbara walters like do you think that's appropriate to give a woman a smack if that's the only option left to you that she's left to you yes of course of course you have to give her a smack and it's like damn this guy's very cool and the way he phrased it was like i've always felt to be a sort of a threat in that moment to barbara walters that and oh man imagine how amazing that would have been if he just back just backhanded Barbara Walters right there in the interview. It is a it is a it is absolutely a veiled threat that he is delivering to her in that moment in an interview.
Starting point is 02:00:32 He is saying sometimes, you know, you've let a woman say what she wants to say. You've let her have the last word and that's still not enough. And then not enough. Yeah. I'll slap a woman in an instance like that, Barbara. Yeah, he was clearly implying like sometimes you get in an argument and you allow them the last word and i've given you the last word and you're continuing that's all he's leaving out is like yeah like he has said everything but and now i'm giving you the last word i'm gonna beat the shit out of you and have my friend Liam piss all over you. Barbara Walters is a cunt.
Starting point is 02:01:08 I don't know anything about her. Is she on The View? Is that right? I hope she's dead. I can't remember which child star it was. But he was coming out and talking about how he was molested by Hollywood executives. Corey Haim? Yeah, Corey Haim. He's telling this woman, Barbara Walters, who's supposed to be
Starting point is 02:01:24 a news media person or a journalist. She was a journalist and she's 92 now. He's saying, I'm part of this thing. And these men molested me for years, these men in power. And she's like, don't you have any concern for what you could be doing financially to a whole industry? could be doing financially to a whole industry and it's like i wish men had come in in that moment and drug her out of that room and fucking capital punishmented her like she what she is saying there is like i don't care that you were raped by men in power don't you understand that me and all these other people in power are all part of the same money machine and you're throwing your little
Starting point is 02:02:04 rape butthole into the mix shut the fuck up take the money and shut the fuck up did i mention yeah fuck up and barbara walters and it's like i'm looking here barbara walters had been involved in show business since 1951 so she one billion percent knew that cory hame was telling the truth about he and all these other child actors in the 80s, 70s, even before and after all being molested. And her response was, don't you realize you're like threatening like the livelihood of everyone who works in this wonderful industry who just all you have to do is suck Harvey Weinstein's dick and any producer and you can get work. I did it. You're not going to do it. Like it was like, like it's easy to forget how much,
Starting point is 02:02:47 cause celebrities do the open secret stuff now where they're like, well, we all knew about this. It was an open secret. And it's like, that's really interesting. Fucking Mark Ruffalo. So everyone knew about this.
Starting point is 02:02:58 I just picked a random, a lot of people know anything about him, but it's like, so everyone knew about this and no one said anything. And now that it becomes politically expeditious to point it out. so everyone knew about this and no one said anything and now that it becomes politically expeditious to point it out now everyone has something to say i it was an open secret since 2012 that this 11 year old was being raped and now i'm coming for oh you didn't come forward in 2012 13 14 15 16 17 like now now that you can you won't lose your gig you'll come
Starting point is 02:03:22 forward which is on like it's easy to throw stones but like if it is an implied threat from a producer or executive producer like hey this job that you've worked your life for will be stolen from you and you will have to go back to work at denny's or whatever like that is a true threat and that's scary but it doesn't excuse it yeah i think she's a terrible person and of course i've seen like tons. I bet if you go to YouTube and search Barbara Walter being a cunt or being an awful person, you'll get a montage. Like,
Starting point is 02:03:51 like just that, that the interaction she had with Norm Macdonald that time when he's been trying to be a little jokey and she's been so fucking serious about the whole thing when he's trying to talk about how the Clintons are murderers. She's not happy. I want to hit you guys up with a weird story because I got invited to one of those parties once. Ooh, an Eyes Wide Shut party?
Starting point is 02:04:13 Kinda, yeah. So I was in LA for a COD event and I caught up with an old friend and I'm going to scrub as many names from this as possible for legal reasons. And this friend works in the film industry. And we talked about a bunch of stuff. And he's like, by the way, very famous person that I'm working for is having a boys party this weekend at the mansion.
Starting point is 02:04:34 And, you know, I could introduce you to social media, whatever. It's usually a bunch of like teenage male models or whatever. But sometimes they have fun with regular guys or more interesting personalities. And, you know, if you wanted to get into the industry, you could come to this party and hang out. And I was like, what the fuck? And I, you know, I asked a little bit. And the thing was that I was expected to be open to anything. If I didn't want to consent, I shouldn't be there. But they're like, hey, you're an interesting person. You can come see if you're their flavor, blah, blah, blah. And I was like, no, no good i'm not gonna do that that's too weird i'm not down
Starting point is 02:05:09 like that and they're like okay but it's an opportunity really so if you blew me you might have got a new job i mean you could have had that perhaps on the podcast yeah yeah i mean it was to the point where they were we waited on you till one in the morning. How do you think Taylor got the job? I bet those. Yeah, it's because I blew both. It was a lot of layovers and flights that day. It was a ton.
Starting point is 02:05:37 I got to take 12 hours to blow two guys to get a job. Woody and I were so messed up on the coke by the time Taylor got there three, four hours later. I don't know how many flights it was. They were so gacked out, I could barely get them on. We couldn't perform. So Woody gets his shoe in there and Taylor can't take it.
Starting point is 02:05:57 His shoe in there. So Kyle starts taking me from the ass and I'm saying, put a few fingers in, man. I need a little depth here. That's what you do. And lo and saying, put a few fingers in, man. I need a little depth here. That's what you do. You like. And lo and behold, he puts them in your pee hole. You get sounded.
Starting point is 02:06:11 Oh, fuck. Yeah. It's just disgusting. Yeah, that is. That is scary. Matthew McConaughey got molested as well. He talked about it a little bit recently. I was getting molested before.
Starting point is 02:06:22 Yeah. Terry Crews, even if you remember his thing, he said that the guy groped him and Terry Cruz, who is a literal wall of a man, was afraid to do anything to whoever this mystery person was because the power difference was so great. Yeah. And that's concerning. Yeah. It's a producer in Hollywood, a guy who can make or break you. Like imagine being so powerfulllywood that you're one of the hundreds or thousands of producers that you feel confident walking up to the rock and being like nice balls big boy and then just walking away and the rock being like oh i don't know i don't know i can't do anything because this guy will destroy my life and it's like super villain powers everyone could
Starting point is 02:07:04 be yours right all the all of hollywood like if you walk up to terry cruz and touch his dick assuming that it'll work out in your favor like you must think everyone at that party is at your beck and call and the reason they do that is because historically everyone at that party is at their beck and call. That's how Hollywood was run. Oh, you want to be a young starlet? Suck my dick and I'll give you a role. Like the fact that like it's funny when they're like these like bullies like Harvey Weinstein, these predators. It's like, no, no, he wasn't breaking the mold. He was playing the game.
Starting point is 02:07:42 That's what it is. The same way that they're like, Epstein, thank God we got that guy, the one guy who was doing this. No, that was one guy in a game of many players. This shit's been going on forever. Hollywood and situations like that, especially with young
Starting point is 02:07:58 people, have always been casted through advantageous older people taking advantage of them. You can go back to the Greeks. Who the fuck did Plato and Aristotle tutor? the ones who would suck their dicks like pedestrian was the name of it yeah pederazzi was was the which which still sounds you got it in gaming too i mean look at all the stuff going on uh with activision and now all the bad stuff robert rolling out about bobby kodik and the the woman that the weird one in that story was there was a lady who complained about sexual harassment,
Starting point is 02:08:27 but then she was forced to go on a work trip with her boss, which was like a team building cruise. And she killed herself by throwing herself off the boat. And then when the police searched his suitcase, they found a whole shit ton of sex toys. And it was an accident. Like it was. Do we know what kind of toys uh butt plugs mostly
Starting point is 02:08:46 ah it's unrelated yeah so yeah totally it was a butt plug with a chain and then a giant block of lead so i tossed them both into the sea he had a there was a small one and a large one in the suitcase but the medium mysteriously missing. Very mysterious. So this is fascinating. We can get back to it. But first, we're going to hear from a couple of wonderful sponsors for tonight's program.
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Starting point is 02:13:12 is it and lock and load yeah lock and load you've been coming like a bitch made motherfucker for way too long come like a man buy our comp pills code pka 20 off lots of people you know what's funny is i was uh i was i was at a super bowl party this last sunday for the super bowl of course and like you i was at a friend i thought it was for the sex but okay yeah it was for the sex well that's secondary but it was i'm there and you know how super bowl parties are first of all incredible spread i ate like so a monster, like an absolute fiend. Like they had a, thank God, they had like in their dining room,
Starting point is 02:13:52 they had the spread. And so everybody's watching the game and I'm just like mentally being like, is it too, if I went back to the table now, would people notice? Like that I've like hit the table like four times and like, but I kept doing that. Basically, I was at this Super Bowl party.
Starting point is 02:14:08 And you meet your friends' friends and stuff like that. And some guy was like, so what do you do for a living? And I was like, well, I told him the initial thing, working in consumer products, consulting for a few companies. And then I also do a podcast and you know he started getting really into that asking me all these questions he like looked it up on youtube and was like oh shit like i thought you meant like you and like your brother do a
Starting point is 02:14:36 podcast for like six people i'm like no it's been going for a long time we had once of the one of the internet's first podcast just to be clear like when we started a podcast no one knew what a fucking podcast was i didn't understand what it was for a long time those two words i'd never seen put together before when we started doing this and now it's been so long since you guys started it that it you know you guys got on you were first adopters of the format but basically i my buddy who was hosting the party introduces me to a friend of his who we start talking. I tell him I do the podcast. He's enthralled with the idea of me doing a podcast
Starting point is 02:15:16 as a gig, as part of my job, paying the mortgage with it and shit. He was like, so do you guys get sponsors and shit? Do you sell stuff? I was like, yeah, you guys like you get sponsors and shit? Do you sell stuff? And I was like, yeah, yeah, we get sponsors and stuff. But we just started a sale on lock and load cum pills. And he was like, what the fuck are you talking about? And I was like, you want to come like I just started telling a buddy of mine who I'm good friends with who had heard the cum pill spiel before. It was like, every time we come to a new place, some guy just keeps drilling Taylor with what he does for work. And then he talks about cum pills again.
Starting point is 02:15:55 I'm like, yeah, I'm working right now. I'm selling. He bought a bottle while we were there talking. Nice job, Taylor. Yeah, because he was like, is just so you guys know hilarious the way we handle the payouts for lock and load it's not a standard system we have sort of a multi-level system built in here so i i came up with the idea along with taylor but i come up with the idea for the mlm right before taylor could so taylor is sort of a junior member so he's got to
Starting point is 02:16:23 go out there and make those connections so now now I'm in Kyle's downline. He's in my downline. In Drifter, I'd love to add you to my downline. I'll tell you what. I'll slide you up above Taylor. You can be in my downline if you jump in now. Right now today.
Starting point is 02:16:39 Shake my hand before I walk away. That's how regular MLMs work. Drifter, if you want some lock and load, we can get you a link where you can buy it. Yeah. So all jokes aside, last time I was here, I kind of wanted to ask for it. But given all the weird hormonal things I have going on, it just doesn't seem smart because I'm kind of like a hormone butterfly right i don't want to add yeah but look at the packaging what if it cured my weird ass problem and i was healthy and just
Starting point is 02:17:13 blew huge loads win win you may make a video it won't make you less healthy well that's a good start that's a very good start like that is our pka guarantee dude most of the shit that's in here is shit that most people are severely deficient of anyway nobody gets enough vitamin d like did you like do you see that i did studies and it's like 80 plus percent of americans don't have enough vitamin d because nobody spends time in the sun anymore like pretty much everyone needs to be taking vitamin d because nobody spends time in the sun anymore like pretty much everyone needs to be taking vitamin d supplements oh i need to i meant to do some research on this do you get vitamin d from a tanning bed yes depending on the kind of light
Starting point is 02:17:56 you can yeah okay good i pop in that thing like every eight weeks or something for like 10 minutes just keep eight weeks that's not a lot you need more vitamin d too maybe a little more i don't know every time i'm like i'm like there and it's like convenient to do so like i don't like to like use it right after someone it's stupid though right like it's it's it's less appealing to use a toilet seat that someone just got off of than to wait 10 minutes like if you told me i'm over that now i like the warmth if it's i was gonna ask about the warmth like what if the toilet seat's warm when you sit i just pretend i'm in japan and like it's a high-tech thing not another guy you're in walmart in kansas so yeah
Starting point is 02:18:35 but i'm in a mid-missouri walmart so that's probably not right have you guys ever taken a shit in walmart yeah oh yeah yeah it's yeah it's genuinely not that. Have you guys ever taken a shit in Walmart? Yeah. Oh, yeah. It's genuinely not that bad as long as you get the crippled stuff. Here's the thing. If I'm taking a shit at Walmart, it's going to be over very quickly. That's the nature of that shit. It's like, and we're done.
Starting point is 02:18:58 I'm checking hockey scores. I'm checking records. American bathrooms are a little weak. If you go to a random restaurant bathroom for a first world country this is not very impressive the bathrooms you get in random Mexico are at least as good as American bathrooms
Starting point is 02:19:14 if you just go to an IHOP bathroom or a Waffle House bathroom like there's some real danger there that there's piss on the floor toilet paper strewn about that's what it's like don't even get me started on it a gas station bathroom well they kind of run these rollers but like they give me the worst of the worst like it's legit you don't want anything but the bottom of your shoes to touch that floor yeah
Starting point is 02:19:36 even your shoes will be sticky man you'll be like you'll feel it peel off when you walk lame like no one's in charge of cleaning them well like the thing you gotta do more time cleaning our floor mats in our cars those things must be i just thought about it that thing's got to be disgusting those things are rancid do you know what we're talking about floor mats it made me think of shoes which made me think of this so we've gotten a bunch of snow here recently we got a bunch of freezing rain and stuff last year when i was like shoveling my driveway i have kind of a steeper driveway like i almost fell and cracked my head open like three times because i was like shoveling my driveway i have kind of a steeper driveway like i almost fell and cracked my head open like three times because i was wearing tennis shoes like trying and i would
Starting point is 02:20:11 like start falling and i just like angled the shovel downward like slow me down slow me down but like it didn't work that well and so i looked up the absolute like grippiest shoes available after last winter you know doc martin's like uh it's like a brand of boots like work boots and like on the it is the grippiest shit i've ever worn i don't think you can like even wear these shoes during like summer because it would be too grippy but it's like and it has something called an air sole and so it's fly traps that are just glue yeah yeah it's like human size you just stick or like we need taylor to repair the spaceship quick put on your doc martin so you stick to the surface of the hole come on and chug up the way and like like i'm i'm like i took the
Starting point is 02:20:56 garbage out today it was sleeting frozen rain there's ice on my on my driveway and i'm wheeling down my big garbage for the pickup tomorrow. Don't slip once in these monster shoes. It is like I've never felt more powerful and secure moving through the snow and ice than with these Doc Martin workers boots. I wish I had snow and ice to deal with.
Starting point is 02:21:17 No, you don't. It's terrible. I was saying they have something called an air sole and so it's like the spongiest. If like if you're walking around like on my like my hardwood floors you feel like you're like bouncing almost but when you're in like grippy shitty environments it's more like you're walking normally because it's not being as great okay they're they're tremendous i i can't believe i ever shoveled the driveway without these things granted they didn't sponsor the show no they didn't i wish they did they were
Starting point is 02:21:43 like 130 dollars but everywhere said that they would't i wish they did they were like 130 dollars but everywhere said that they would last forever and like i could be like 30 years from now still wearing these shoveling my driveway without dying unless i get like you know heart attack from being as fat as i am then but yeah still high quality if you're if you're in minnesota the the midwest somewhere there's a lot of snow and you're slipping all over the place. Doc Martens, man, those grippy as shit. PSA. Keep that in mind because apparently it snows every year in Texas now. Really?
Starting point is 02:22:12 Wait, wait, we're in Texas, just northern Texas near Oklahoma, right? It'll hit down Austin, San Antonio, Houston. I mean, last year, Mexico got snow. Mexico City was white with snow. That's insane. Like, yeah. We had. We're not prepared for that is the weather actually getting more wild or am i just old enough to know now because like yesterday it was 63 degrees here and today we had freezing weather and snow i think it's objectively getting
Starting point is 02:22:40 more wild because the jet stream is weakening so it makes the weather less predictable because there's less of a consistency buffer from cold weather coming in i have no idea i just i always think that i hope so i hope so yeah yeah i mean i wanted to get warmer dude it's gonna it's gonna we're good oh thank god you're in a terrible place though because i think that you're going to get more tornadoes there like in the decade or so. I think we all are and it's going to be interesting to watch. I love those disaster movies. We already get some new tornadoes.
Starting point is 02:23:11 Tomorrow and 2012 and stuff like that. I don't think we're going to see anything like that because that's science fiction and just bad movies. I bet we'll see some big hurricanes and big tornadoes and stuff. I want to see some crazy stuff, like three tornadoes melding together and then taking on some sort of like consciousness and then going like rogue didn't that happen in twister without the consciousness part
Starting point is 02:23:33 yeah there's a bunch of tornadoes in the house that that happened in oklahoma that happened like eight years ago nine ten years ago here in joplin missouri it just got totally i remember. It got deleted from the map, basically. I remember where I was when that happened. That was such a fucking disaster. Yeah, that Joplin, that was crazy. It was a lot of dead, right?
Starting point is 02:23:56 Yeah, I think it was a lot dead. The entire town was destroyed. I wonder, there's giant tornadoes, but the giant tornadoes that hit towns are the ones that really get a lot of attention. For all I know, there's a there's giant tornadoes but the giant tornadoes that hit towns are the ones that really get a lot of attention for all i know there's a lot of giant tornadoes and they're just destroying a little crop here that's you're right woody like that's the thing with tornadoes versus hurricanes it's like hurricane there's like one major storm that's
Starting point is 02:24:16 coming tornadoes it's like oh there's we'll get like alerts here where it's like tornado sighting at fucking 70 and washington whatever it is you know and then it'll be like uh two more tornadoes uh further east here and here watch out for converging storm like but like i don't think they ever go twister style and actually yeah you know in the movies like a lot of times in the movies the thing that like leads to world war three is like the fuel wars you know like yeah like petroleum yeah mad max and and lots of stuff like that have that as a concept but uh i was watching this thing about um i think it was the history of oil or petroleum or something like that which was and it was way more interesting
Starting point is 02:24:55 than it sounds i promise like it starts from like early man finding it bubbling up to like the point when it started to become more valuable in the turn of the century. And then obviously the rise of OPEC, the first Iraq war, and then on to today. And I learned a lot of stuff that I didn't quite understand before watching that video. It was fascinating. I had no idea some of that stuff. Oh, but the key thing I took away from it was there's enough known oil deposits right now to last like another 60 years. 60?
Starting point is 02:25:27 Yeah. That's not like that long. That's not. But I feel like – No, no. That's accounting for like a rise in usage. Like there's an enormous amount of oil. Wait.
Starting point is 02:25:38 So that's accounting – And every year they're always finding greater and greater deposits. Like one year it's like, oh, yeah, we just found this thing in Siberia. That's like Saudi Arabia 2.0. And then they're like, actually, with the new tech, the American like oil sands are where it's really fracking shit, man. We should still get moving towards like solar or something. I don't want the environment to be fucked up forever. Taylor, I hate to tell you, but that's not happening yeah we should get off
Starting point is 02:26:07 the train we're like eight inches from uh the building uh yeah i i agree with you that it would be nice but like we're gonna literally in texas we have a guy running for governor that wants to ban green energy he wants to shut down all the windmills and stuff because they're evil for whatever the fuck our windmills i thought windmills were like the really inefficient ones i thought that uh like the solar was way more efficient neither of them are as efficient as just burning fossil sauce you dig out of the ground but like yeah no they were fine but it's it's a political thing here to bag on green energy and go heavy on oil but like you said this train left the station and has been going for 150 plus years. And we never once even thought about slowing it down. And we're not slowing it
Starting point is 02:26:50 down now either. I try not to be like a really like doom gloom, like black pilled kind of guy, but the environment's not looking so rough. I don't know about you guys, but my retirement plan is to die fighting in the climate wars. There's not going to be a climate war anytime soon. All of us will be dead by the time it really even matters. That Greta bitch will be dead before it matters too. But eventually... I hope you're right.
Starting point is 02:27:13 But in the next 100 years or so, it might actually matter. But I think we're going to be fine. We're not going to lose Florida this year or anything. We're all good. What about food security though? And also, what about let's say there's a crop shortage in say brazil and there's like a hundred million brazilians that try to cross the border that makes our current problem look like a speck of dust we're really good at that like fixing problems like that we're just really good at it no we've got oh we just kill
Starting point is 02:27:38 them what great that's the future i want to live in. The genocidal one. No. First of all, it's called Castle Doctrine in Texas, which is where the Brazilian invading force is going to be making their headway. I'm sure we've got plenty of drones and missiles and machine guns and bombs
Starting point is 02:28:01 and napalm. Your attitude is, so we've got ours and fuck you rest of the world if you want it you can come take it from my drone i don't pay brazilian taxes yes i i don't know what to make of this for our own like so i'm gonna look out for americans i kind of lean on this whole like environment problems are real right you know the global warming is real you can measure it let's not pretend that it's not real it's happening yeah but it does always seem to be a little farther out further out i guess it always seems to be a little further out it's just running out of oil in 60 years i feel like i heard 20 years 20 years ago and then they found
Starting point is 02:28:38 it was peak oil but i remember peak oil i remember peak oil in 1998, hearing about how we were going to run out of oil soon. And we were peak oil. And, and now they just keep pushing the peak along. Yeah. The United, the United States, um,
Starting point is 02:28:52 OPEC keeps like trimming production and the Russians keep messing with theirs and the United States is like, Oh, you want to mess with the market? We'll make so much cheap oil. You never, and we did. And we became the biggest producer of oil in the world.
Starting point is 02:29:06 Because it's convenient for our economy if oil is cheap. That's not how I remember it. I remember oil went up. The price of oil went up. And all of a sudden it was like, oh, well, this shale shit we have, which is an expensive way to get oil, is now profitable. You're talking about the 70s? No, I'm talking about early 2000s.
Starting point is 02:29:28 Oh, okay. Yeah. So we're probably at war with Iraq or something. Who knows? And oil is super expensive. And because oil is super expensive, our expensive way of extracting oil is profitable. Whereas previously, only their cheap way of it,
Starting point is 02:29:44 popping out of a hole on its own was profitable. That's mentioned in the video too. I think you'd like this video. You're more clued into the history of petroleum than I was. I enjoyed it a lot. I enjoyed it a lot. It explained a lot of the hostilities between Iraq
Starting point is 02:29:59 and Iran and the whole region and how all that's tied in. They're like, even though saddam hussein was begging them not to invade it didn't matter because the wheels were in motion yeah yeah that oh that's um that's what i actually um i saw a reddit comment on um that was i sent you that video of all the russian military helicopters flying over in a convoy. It's some civilian video somewhere in Russia. Okay, I don't watch it. All right, so it's a convoy of military helicopters,
Starting point is 02:30:29 one after another in the staggered formation that just goes on for three minutes. Lots of them. And, you know, I don't know if any of us know what a fucking helicopter, Russian helicopter looks like or which ones are which, but the comments are like, oh, that's their TI-95 and their BR-67s.
Starting point is 02:30:45 They're bringing out the big boys. This represents 17% of the entire Russian helicopter fleet. And what you've got to keep in mind, boys, is the expense of just the fuel of getting those helicopters there. Bear in mind, the fuel to get them back is waiting on them there. They sent that weeks ago, and the parts to repair them have been waiting. The orders for new the drinks are on the table the customers are in line outside to stop now and say we changed our mind it would be a disaster for everyone involved people have to die they're going in i was watching a thing about are they really gonna go right are
Starting point is 02:31:41 they like there's one thing you can do, which is like a, you know how guerrillas charge, but they don't mean to, all you have to do is stay on your ground and it stops there. Yeah. How can you tell if it's that, or if it's a real attack where they're about to hit you and they're like, Oh God.
Starting point is 02:31:56 Well, when they just do the gorilla charge thing, they just put troops near the border and that's, that's it. They amass it. He's like, they're doing some other stuff here. They have set up hospitals along the border and that's that's it they amass it he's like they're doing some other stuff here they have set up hospitals along the border mash units they have blood that will otherwise go bad on the border in these mash units to treat their casualties they have sent propaganda
Starting point is 02:32:17 to their citizens to convince them that it's a good idea to do they don't say they don't propagandize i think that's a word their own population if they're not idea to do. They don't say they don't propagandize. I think that's a word their own population. If they're not going to do something that would be counter to their own interest. Right. Then everyone's going to think they're a pussy or that they should have done it. No, no. They only do the propaganda when they intend to really make this real. It is every indication that it's not fake.
Starting point is 02:32:40 Which is exactly what you would want to do if you wanted to use this whole thing as a master bluff as a bargaining chip next time there's some NATO wants missiles here and Russia wants fuel rights there sort of thing. But I would lean on the side of like, yeah, like Occam's razor is that they actually just mean business. And this isn't some like 3D chess, James Bond villain stuff, although you cannot put that past Vladimir Putin. James Bond villain stuff. Although you cannot put that past Vladimir Putin. I'm, I'm one who's like, uh, when they start,
Starting point is 02:33:06 start, start talking about Hillary Clinton eating babies, she doesn't seem smart enough to pull that off. Like, like after watching her talk about, talk about wanting to see Pokemon people, Pokemon go to the polls. I've got red in my purse.
Starting point is 02:33:17 Like, bitch, you've used, you're, you're not that bright. Actually. It turns out like, like you're smart.
Starting point is 02:33:20 Don't get me wrong. You're a genius. You're smarter than me, but you're not smart enough to like master a new thing which was like social media and pop culture you couldn't do that and i would say someone that i would like think of as a genius could like she couldn't figure that shit out that shit's so cringe like like losing to donald trump is like the greatest failure in political history that's a pretty big l because he shot himself in the foot and face over and over again and still won which is insane insane. You talk about eating babies. If that's real and adrenochrome is real and all
Starting point is 02:33:49 that stuff, why aren't there just factories for it in India and China where they don't give a fuck? Like, why do you need an underground pizza restaurant and cooperation of Hollywood? Just everybody would fly out to like remote Bangladesh or something and just eat all the children there. They'll farm you children. I don't care. Yeah. I look,
Starting point is 02:34:09 I'm just like throwing a wild thing out here, but maybe the baby eating is almost like that pedophile thing. Like where it's a, it's to like make it's like if they all do it, then they all have that over on one another. You could never come out and be like, I'm part of this underground group that's been like pulling the strings on society and the global economic food chain since the dawn of time. Because immediately they'd like release the pictures of you with like a boy or something like that.
Starting point is 02:34:38 Taking a bite. Yeah. Like for all we know, like maybe like that's who Epstein was. He was the first whistleblower. He's not a pedophile or a bad man at all. He was a hero. He was trying to expose the global elites, and they coined a phrase by Epstein-ing him.
Starting point is 02:34:54 I think you're right. Epstein was the real hero in this story. Oh, God. I don't think that's true. I heard you say it. I never said anything of the kind. I'm not going to disagree with you. The better question is, do you believe that there's a real underground, like giant pedophile ring that you got to have like a secret handshake to get into or what?
Starting point is 02:35:12 I a thousand percent know that those exist because. Why, Kyle? Because they're uncovered. Why were you really in jail? Why don't you tell us now? That's why I was in jail. I wouldn't have made it out. I wouldn't have made it out. Deep cover operative.
Starting point is 02:35:26 I wouldn't have made it out. No, but those are literally uncovered every month. I don't know. If you just peruse Reddit, Reddit's real good about, hey, another pedophile got caught, guys. Look, they're really good about posting those. So how often do you see 37 individuals taken out, five terabytes of this, that, and the other? Here's what I learned about those gargantuan numbers assigned to the amount of child pornography these guys have. Because if
Starting point is 02:35:50 you ever notice, these guys have astounding amounts of child pornography. And for those of us who have any concept of what a terabyte of video is, and assuming even that it's 4K video, of video is um and assuming even that it's 4k video it's just so much even at 4k resolution five terabytes of child pornography is like more movies than i've ever seen in my life we're talking about arabites of yeah yeah yeah i mean if you're getting 4k that's the really premium stuff are there even enough kids to make that much apparently so so they make more kids all the time so here's what it is. I just watched this. I saw a Reddit post about this
Starting point is 02:36:29 couple that was going to prison for some pedophilia stuff. She was a teacher. Basically, what they had done is her sheriff's department SWAT team leading husband had masturbated on cupcakes that she then served to her junior high school students.
Starting point is 02:36:46 And they videoed that. And that's the leading story in the article. And anyone who's familiar, do you know what else they did that was like at the bottom of the article? I didn't even know they did that. Okay. So like the main thing is the cupcakes with semen on them, which is disgusting. That they were served to children. Horrific. She got a year in prison for that.
Starting point is 02:37:04 But then like the article. Did the guy get any time oh yeah oh yeah stick with me here they haphazardly mentioned she got 40 years in federal prison total and i'm like what the fuck else did she do and this article is so trash i had to go to reddit comments they had raped a 12 year old girl and recorded it together. And, and she was, and they're both going away for the, like essentially the rest of their lives for raping children. And that wasn't the lead. That was not the lead.
Starting point is 02:37:34 The lead was the, the come on the cupcakes because that's more salacious, I guess, and more unique. It was ridiculous. And, but it's wild. What was I going to say about the,
Starting point is 02:37:43 the, the cupcakes, the, Oh, the terabytes of pornographyabytes of pornography like I read in the comments because they said that they were possession of five terabytes and For those of you don't know that's just a shocking That's so much if there's a visual representation of how of what it looks like it's one of those things 600 hours worth of HD movies
Starting point is 02:38:05 about right. That's and, and like, that's insane. But here's the thing. If you've got a folder of photographs and you put one child, child pornography picture in there with like a bunch of regular porn, it is all child porn.
Starting point is 02:38:21 Now that's what happened. What happened was this guy had a huge amount of pornography, and he has what is an indeterminate amount of child pornography, and they will not take the time to be like, this girl's of age, this one's not, this one is, this one's not. That's his child porn folder. That's bullshit. Yeah, that's what happened to Jared Fogle.
Starting point is 02:38:44 Not that I'm defending Jared Fogle. I'm just saying that is what happened to Jared Fogle. Not that I'm defending Jared Fogle. I'm just saying that is what happened to Jared Fogle. I thought Jared Fogle had physical contact and molested young girls. He also had an enormous amount of child pornography. Was it young boys? Was it young girls? I don't know. It's girls.
Starting point is 02:38:56 He also had a bunch of child porn. And when the two are going hand in hand, it's this enhancement type thing. Yeah, it kind of looks bad, bad doesn't it when you're raping kids and looking at child pornography not defending him i'm just saying i would say that's two two strikes against you bucko one more strike for now you're free one more to go for now you're still an okay guy but one more strike you you don't you don't you don't return it's a good thing you're the little little league coach because you won't forget the strike thing. I'm going in a weird direction here.
Starting point is 02:39:31 Let me get my thoughts together. We were talking about how much 600 terabytes of child pornography is because that's a lot. And then I thought, well, my only experience with such things was very low resolution. And the majority of the time you see that, it's like a really compressed cheapo file and then you're gonna say holy shit this guy's watching child porn i did have a personal experience with this during it was like 2018-19 2020 ish when i was being harassed by eight thoughts and all the trolls and stuff
Starting point is 02:39:57 uh there was a day for i think oni-san or somebody on youtube got accused of child porn man gets on twitter makes tons of jokes about child porn and molestation and blah, blah, blah. His community is filled full of horrible, nasty incels. And at the time, I was spying on the community with a burner account in their Discord so that I would have advance notice if they were planning a swatting night or something like that. Right. OK, so I didn't think anything of it, and I go check Discord to write down all the illegal shit every day and send it to the police like I normally do.
Starting point is 02:40:30 And since today was all jokes about kitties getting diddled, the Discord was just shit tons of child porn all the way down, just like nasty stuff. I had no fucking idea what to do. So I called my lawyer to tell them and I'm like, Hey, you know, this, you know, makes my case look great, but I, how the fuck do I handle these files? Is it legal for me to like save this? And they're like, we don't fucking know. So we got to go and we got to call the police. And the police is like, well, this is online and
Starting point is 02:40:58 it's not like local to us and there's not much we can do about it. So they're like, let me put you in contact with the FBI. So call the FBI and the FBI is like, yeah, don't download anything. Don't save anything. It's questionably legal. It's bad for you, blah, blah, blah. And what we want you to do is write down all the usernames and IDs
Starting point is 02:41:17 and everything you know about people posting this. And if you've seen anything, we want a detailed description so that we can hopefully identify the victims. So you in a shitty situation where you're having to, like, be a commentator for child porn. Yeah. So I had to write detailed descriptions of all of the child. Yeah.
Starting point is 02:41:42 And it was really awful stuff. of the most it was mostly like super low res videos of infants being jesus i'm just kidding so these guys were like the topic of child porn came up and their response instead of like absurdist humor and jokes was to post child pornography if you like you press the like button if you don't leave a comment that's they did eventually get cleaned up like somebody with brains showed up and said holy shit this is bad but it was up for like 8 or 12 hours just sitting there and it was it was one of the most miserable days of my life to sit there and just like write descriptions of shit to mail to
Starting point is 02:42:25 the FBI. And I talked to them and I'm like, Hey, you know, I'm having all these other problems. Maybe this gets you interested. And they're like, no, we're going to handle this. We got a whole team to handle this. Uh, but it came up because what's insane about it is you say 600 terabytes and my limited sample of this is all of these files are like tiny shitty like cell phone copies like five ten megabytes so if you're talking like 600 terabytes at 480p or less hours yeah 1600 hours is about the average so that gives an even greater scale for what the average hall is like which is honestly terrifying and nobody's laughing this got too dark no no that is that is terrifying it it is darkly humorous imagining you scrolling through abhorrent photos and having to be like
Starting point is 02:43:15 light pink backdrop naked child bow and hair yeah out okay Okay, next. Scroll down. That seems like a horrible afternoon. It was. It was not a fun one. Could you have been like, you know, no, no, you guys are the FBI. I'm not an agent. I'm telling you what there is. You pick your most perverted agent to look through
Starting point is 02:43:39 this shit. I almost want to be like, look, here's my login for this Discord account so that you can go in there, but almost want to be like look here are here's my login for this this account for this like discord account so that you can go in there like but you gotta be careful these days like if someone is completely tech retarded they won't understand that you're they'll be like i logged into his account and there was child porn whoa you don't know how discord works so we need to take a whole time out here sir like no no you're
Starting point is 02:44:05 logging into account that has joined a room in which other people are doing criminal things it's yes like you picture real world rooms okay and you walk into one and some shit's going down i am allowing you to walk into a room sir it is not my room it is just a room yeah and that's an excellent point because some some boomer judge would absolutely be like his account was logged into and there was a terabyte of child porn found in that forum. Right there on Discord. Yeah. And then a boomer jury might fall for that. What was the guy's name?
Starting point is 02:44:36 He had a whole bunch of prison stories with Bowie. Sean Atwood. It wasn't, though. It was the other. Oh, Josh Palalp. That's what I'm looking for yeah he was the one who went to a website and didn't download a game and they had no idea the difference between downloading and not downloading and he was like i have all the evidence that
Starting point is 02:44:57 proves i didn't download it i hear my logs etc they're wrong i didn't do this thing they said i did and they're like well i'll just grant you that point because I don't know the difference anyway. But I don't know what download means. Yeah, because it was like shit. So I won the point, but you haven't changed your mind about me. That's what happened to him. Yeah, it happens
Starting point is 02:45:17 a lot in court. You know what? Download me. It's so scary. You know, when someone in a courtroom is ignorant about something because you're not in a position where you can be like, I'm not going to deal with you if you don't know what you're talking about, Your Honor. You're stuck here and you've got to make do with what you have and hope that your lawyer can tell you. When I was being trolled and swatted, the police just seemed to have no idea that I wasn't the person doing it or that I wasn't instructing all these people to do it or that I wasn't the ringleader of a, you know,
Starting point is 02:45:49 people are ordering stupid pizzas and sending them to my house. And the pizza guy had no idea that it like, that I didn't want this to happen either. So they act like it's your fault. Like, what did you do to deserve this? You're getting bullied for a reason. Don't encourage these people.
Starting point is 02:46:05 Your reactions fuel. This is like, I'm reacting because crazy shit's happening. They asked me like, why don't you just stop being online? And I, I told him my salary and he's like, okay.
Starting point is 02:46:17 I mean, you're, you're so right. Like, why don't you stop being a police officer? Right. When I've gone to like local PDs,, when I get doxxed or something happens, and I tell them, hey, if you get a call about this, there's this.
Starting point is 02:46:29 No, here's my private number. You call me. If you get a cop who is, and I know because I've done this multiple times, if you get a cop who's in his mid-40s and above, like Woody, obviously a huge outlier in that age group, they think that you are like bringing it 1 million percent on yourself the last time I did it which is probably over a year ago at this point it was a guy probably between me and Kyle's age like early 30s and he like as I said the name of
Starting point is 02:46:56 the show he like had his phone out pulled it up like oh this actually is a pretty big show okay I see what you're saying I'll make a note of this on your file for your address and i was like thank you thank you so much thank you because lieutenant live in this drawer right here yeah the first guy i talked to who was like probably almost 50 was like what's that yeah i'm gonna keep this safe right here in the circular file and it's like god damn it man like please don't show up my house and shoot me oh god um you could have the opposite experience i got kind of spooked by a cop one time uh all this nonsense is going on uh i go out for a walk and there's like four squad cars outside my house and i think fuck not again right turns out had nothing to do with me and it was my neighbor having a we'll say domestic
Starting point is 02:47:46 dispute with his wife that turned out unpleasant. And I guess the police around here didn't have much to do, but I didn't know that. So I just walked up to an officer and I asked him kind of like, you know, what's going on? What's your business here? And he told me and I'm like, okay, that's good. I was like, four cars is a lot. I'm telling you, I've had some harassment problems. Is this anything related to me or am I just good to go on my walk? And then he called me by name and said, you're good to go. And I'm like, what? And he's like, yeah, I know who you are.
Starting point is 02:48:11 I know what's going on. And I'm like, oh, you're working the case. And he's like, no, I've just seen it on stream. And I'm like, oh, well, that's really cool. It's nice to meet you. Are you one of my stream regulars? He's like, no, I don't watch your stream. What was the only other stream where that was happening?
Starting point is 02:48:33 Yeah, yeah, yeah yeah that's yeah ideal nope um nothing you can prove or do anything about that but i was just like cool that's uh that's that's rad that's unfortunate yeah it is good times good times let me steer the topic back around to something a bit less let's see uh tell us about another time uh tell us about another time the shadow people oh good okay that's more light. Okay. Keep it light, you bitch. I saw a glowing light one time. Well, I've seen the old hag, not the hat man. Excuse me?
Starting point is 02:49:16 Glowing lights. Oh, you've never seen that? You just said hat man. When my wife saw hat man. Oh, does she abuse Benadryl? No, none of us do. No Ambien, no Benadryl, none of that kind of stuff or a fun one. I used to live on a property that was formerly owned by a cult and it was really weird and it was kind of haunted-y.
Starting point is 02:49:39 So some of my Spanish in-laws thought it'd be a great idea to have an exorcism. So I got to watch that when I was a little kid, which was a bizarre short version. We bought a house way out in the middle of nowhere in Texas. It bedded like 18, but mostly in weird bunk beds that were built into the attic. And it was very fish, like
Starting point is 02:49:57 greenhouse, very self-sustaining. And the people that lived there all of a sudden moved like overnight and sold it like dirt cheap. This is a lot to ingest. I'm a lot of people in a lot of things. You were growing up in fucking Waco or something. It's a lot more remote than Waco,
Starting point is 02:50:16 but yeah. Damn. The town had 40 people. David Koresh was terrified of our compound. We kicked him out for his simpleton views. It wasn't extreme enough for us. The house was very weird. There was always weird noises, always weird shit going on. You could never sleep because something would go bump in the night.
Starting point is 02:50:37 Nothing like super horrifying or shadow people or whatever, but it fucked with everybody in the house. Mostly would come from my brother's room, which was weird because we thought he was getting up in the night. So we would make him sleep downstairs and it would still happen. Or if he slept up there, he said he would never hear anything, but downstairs sounded like a nightmare. And it happened once when one of my in-laws was at the house and she happened to be a devout Spanish Catholic and it freaked her right properly the fuck out. And she came back with some of her friends I don't think they were priests
Starting point is 02:51:08 and they started putting oils on the walls and crosses and out with you demons and then shit in Spanish that I couldn't understand and concentrating and cursing and blessing and I you know I'd seen scary movies growing up so I was like oh this is really cool I want to see this I've never seen an exorcism or a blessing or a demon
Starting point is 02:51:24 warding whatever it is that they're doing because i don't speak spanish i don't know and uh i was very pissed off because i was not allowed i was the only person not allowed to witness the exorcism because i was the only person in the house that was unbaptized and they were all afraid that the ghost or whatever would go into me so i had to go away on the other side of the property while they banished evil spirits or whatever and the short version is it didn't do a goddamn thing all the spooky stuff kept happening so i'm of course because it's all fake what are you baptized yeah i believe these people buy nfts yeah probably you're not me yeah i am now i'm i'm the only one huh i guess i don't think i'm as remotely religious as I used to be
Starting point is 02:52:06 so I don't know if that counts but I did get baptized you're going to hell so hard you know I don't know why but we used to do that thing me and Woody are going to be fucking high fiving riding a tandem bike up in heaven on a cloud somehow
Starting point is 02:52:22 you're not getting any traction can I just Oh, God. On a cloud somehow. Yeah, I'm not getting any traction. Can I just... I'll hit you guys with a less crazy one, more of a funny one. It was when I was like 16, 17 years old. I had moved away from that bad place to a, we'll say, different place in Mississippi. I lived in a very small house. We were not rich people. My dad made like $4,000 a year, and there was a little bit of subsistence hunting kind of stuff going on.
Starting point is 02:52:48 And I was big into video games. I'd play. Hold on. Yeah? $4,000 a year. Forget that, Taylor. Could you just say the words that you hunted for your own food? A little bit.
Starting point is 02:53:00 It wasn't anything crazy. You catch fish from the river. You shoot a deer here and there if a redneck has something they want a trophy and not the meat i'll take it this is awesome yeah so stuff like that my wife would eat raccoons and stuff and possums and whatever the fuck made they're really chewy and gamey but we did a lot of that kill them or find them by the roadside you're not supposed to kill them i just pop them shoot them with the 22 but the point is we lived kind of broke as a really small little house and i lived in a really small little room we
Starting point is 02:53:29 didn't have any heat or air so whatever it was outside it just was inside and i had to deal with it uh but i would sit there on my little tv and i'd play video games and i was big into video games one night i go to bed everything's normal and i hear this giant fucking crash and slam and like glass breaking. And the only thing I can think is that my brand new fan that I got installed, by the way, I lived like three years with no fan in the summer. Super happy to have my fan. I thought the fan had fallen down because we used the cheapest repairman possible. And I thought, fuck, I'm gonna have to spend all summer with no fan. So I get up and go kind of like around the walls of my room to avoid stepping on glass and turn on the light. And everything is fine. Everything is totally fine and normal.
Starting point is 02:54:11 And I'm like, have I lost my mind? And then I look over to my little desk where I would do my homework. And there's a giant pile of old video games. And when I say old, I mean 1980s old, like the Ghostbusters game and Super Mario Duck Hunt, the original boxes in pretty good conditions. And what was weird about this is these were things that I had owned eons ago, right? Desk was clean when I went to bed. These are things that I had not seen in 10 plus years at that point. When you give something to a three-year-old in 1989, it tends to get torn up i remember moving and throwing them away and then suddenly in the middle of the fucking night for no reason there's a whole pile of vintage games just sitting on my desk you know there's no explanation no nothing
Starting point is 02:54:55 you know drifter i find you to be a charming and time man i i i really enjoy it when you're on. I look forward to it. Okay. There's a but, though. But when you talk about things like this, I think that, well, I hope that everyone's ears are perking up and hearing these things. And, look, I have a side of me that thinks that there's a chance that you are haunted by demons. I have not made that a zero-sum thing. Okay? You you are haunted by demons. I have not made that a zero-something.
Starting point is 02:55:25 Okay? There's... You may be haunted by demons. I want you to do paranormal videos where you, like, film yourself. Like, set up one of those night vision cameras by your bed, dude. And, like, if anything ever happens and you could string this together, I'd be a viewer. Because you creep me out by telling me this stuff the same way.
Starting point is 02:55:46 Um, uh, what's our friend who came out a while, a while back who does the scary stories. Uh, when did it's the, when did, when did Taylor,
Starting point is 02:55:54 I'm muted. I'm so sorry. When did, when did, yeah. Oh yeah. Yeah. When did good.
Starting point is 02:55:59 When you start telling me like stuff about your childhood or adolescence, or maybe even the last few years, this, this stuff about seeing things, it creeps me out the way that, uh, when toendigo i want to get his name because i do like him i watch his videos all the time it's just i think it's like wendigo but uh wendigo yeah yeah but well it's because there's i think there's a mythical monster called a wind uh wendigo wendigo is a wendigo yeah walker kind of eats people exactly yeah it pretends to be people and that's like yeah and and that's one of those monsters that's one of those monsters that like something that
Starting point is 02:56:30 takes the form of humans those are the ones that like if you're whatever you want to call it open minded or goofy or or silly enough or or whatever to believe in crazy stuff that's one of the ones that can make sense to like sneak by like no you don't understand of course we don't know they exist they take the form of what we see every day people looks like a normal guy just walking down the street or maybe minding his own business in the woods you don't know it's like the thing which is the greatest horror movie ever or maybe like reptilians you know taking the form of uh, you know, the whole overlord thing. The reptilian part, it doesn't make sense because like the reptilian conspiracy thing, it says they're underground.
Starting point is 02:57:13 They're cold blooded. They'd be way too hot. They'd be warm down there. They'd be warm down there. They'd need that to stay warm. They'd need that to live. They'd live on geothermals and to live above ground. They want to, they've taken positions of power
Starting point is 02:57:26 no it's it's not like basking in the sun hot down there it's unbelievably hot it depends how deep you go taylor okay have you been to the mines of korgoroth i think no i'm making this have you seen have you seen the steam pools of the deep gogola? If I hadn't, I wouldn't have made it. Where the reptile men are numbered in the millions and the reptile women do whatever you want. Do you think they have tits? No, they have cloacals, man.
Starting point is 02:57:56 You ever seen one of those alligator cloacals? That little slit? Humans could learn a few things about vaginas from alligators. And dolphins. Yeah. And dolphins. humans could learn a few things about vaginas from alligators and dolphins and dolphins I saw an Impractical Jokers bit where he's like you ever wonder what dolphin puss looks like
Starting point is 02:58:15 he has to say that to a pretty woman and she literally goes I think it's just kind of circular she just rolls with it and it's just like damn every once in a while they run up against a cool person who's just as down to be silly yeah but but but back to the thing i worry that that that may be like like you know you're hallucinating right do you think
Starting point is 02:58:36 you're hallucinating i probably that's the most logical thing right and i'm not trying to be shitty i'm not trying to be shitty about this or like like like we've talked about this when you weren't here and i don't i don't want you to think that like i'm doing that behind your back or like anything like that kyle kyle's fascinated by this whole thing okay i really i don't get offended easily so it's no worries yeah don't think that i'm like behind your back like laughing it up no no or it's ridiculous i tell these stories because the situation is just ridiculous and it's it. It's interesting to me, like genuinely. Yeah. Last time you were on, Kyle was like, guys, we should have stayed on the paranormal shit the whole four hours.
Starting point is 02:59:11 I'm fascinated. I could go on about that forever because so much like weird shit happened. But the short version is Woody's gone. I feel like I feel like he just didn't want to hear this shit. And he probably. No, no. He's home improvement stuff. He's going to get in a snack.
Starting point is 02:59:24 Yeah, yeah, yeah. The reality is that a lot of this happened at a very not so great time in my life. My home life was broken. I was moving a lot. I was stressed out a lot. I mean, I was the kind of kid that would have to stay up late at night and keep the shoes by the bed because you might have to bounce like that. And it's very realistic to say that the stress of that does not do good things to the psyche of children for sure
Starting point is 02:59:46 So as I move into adulthood these things happen far less frequently they do still happen So I think well did I really like did this shit like really happen which the subreddit your subreddit tore me a whole new? Asshole about this about supposedly lying or whatever but the practical version is I have to think well it only happened lying or whatever but the practical version is i have to think well it only happened experientially in here most likely because i don't live my life making decisions based on what i think shadow people or demons or whatever the fuck are going to do i'm a very logical scientific person that's what i appreciate about what you're saying because you're not coming here and you're like dan akroyd for example a guy that i really am a huge fan of since i was a kid i think he's a brilliantly funny man from snl andL and Ghostbusters and all the writing
Starting point is 03:00:25 he's done, but he's a whack job when you hear him speak. When he talks about aliens or secret societies, he's got that really quick Chicago accent. He's explaining it to you, and you're just like, Crystal Skull Vodka! Then he starts talking about aliens and you're just like, okay, you're a whack. Dan Aykroyd is into aliens?
Starting point is 03:00:42 His whole family used to be psychic mediums. Dan Aykroyd is incredibly aliens and shit? His whole family used to be psychic mediums. Dan Aykroyd is incredibly wacky. You know his character in Ghostbusters? How he's like a paranormal psychologist? Yeah, but I thought that was just him. No. Well, they were all kind of paranormal. A lot of the wackadoo writing is him
Starting point is 03:00:58 going to Ivan Reitman, who just ripped, who just passed away, and being like, oh, we gotta have some stuff about the occult in here. They wrote that fucking movie, and he has always been wacky like that with the occult conspiracies aliens and and he believes stringently and he does he has that crystal skull vodka company and that's his company yes yeah yeah he makes a lot of money selling that is that is like so many people know that like you walk through like your grocery store and go through the alcohol aisle and like so much of it is just the coolness of the designs that gets you where you're like okay well this one looks like a wine bottle and it's $7.99 this one looks cool as shit
Starting point is 03:01:35 it's got a skull and it's $11.99 i'm gonna always go skull it's cooler the that is one of the best gimmicks i've never had that it's not great vodka but it's not awful vodka and you get a skull out of it it's cool like you can fill it up with sand of different colors like doing those little sand art things you can you can do a lot of stuff with it i saw someone take this glow-in-the-dark sand that you can like and they filled it up with that and then the whole skull would just glow under black light i don't know they're neat little props to like throw on a desk or something like that too i think but what i was getting at i'm sorry i don't know they're neat little props to like throw on a desk or something like that too i think but but what i was getting at i'm sorry i don't get away from the point is like go for it that's a wacky guy who i think is just a loon i don't think that of you at all
Starting point is 03:02:12 i appreciate that a lot of people do but when you casually talk about this stuff it can lend itself so but what i i see from you is not someone who's trying to convince me that there are paranormal things happening it's someone who's telling me about what you're talking about your mental illness essentially and and how like traumatic events have triggered uh this but more uh at certain points in your life and how you basically see things that aren't there and how you and i don't know how you cope with that because if i thought like right now i've got my monitors in front of me some lighting and shit but like across that room there's a door over there if i look ever looked up and i'm alone at my house right now if i ever looked up and i saw something look at me through
Starting point is 03:02:55 there it would upset me so much that i don't think i could live alone anymore i talked about this with someone like yesterday when i because because someone asked me who was coming on and we had very similar discussion to what we're having right now but but i told him like i i couldn't even live alone anymore i don't think and i don't think like getting a a full-time like live-in girlfriend would do the trick i think i'd have to move back in with my father to feel safe again if there were dark men in my house like that sounds silly if there's static man or shadow if there's dark dark shadow people or something like and something i'm interested in with what drifter said is i'd be so scared when you described experiencing it as a kid you talk about like seeing a figure for extended periods of time when you described it just now as an adult
Starting point is 03:03:46 you were like a fleeting image in the corner like is that how it tends to be now as an adult it's more of a fleeting like it could be a shadow and it's just your childhood reminding you like oh that could be that yeah something like that as an adult very fleeting. I don't hallucinate things very infrequently. Three, four times a year, tops if it's busy. Audio is a little more frequent, but it's usually just very, very small things. It's not whispering voices and crazy shit like that. But I think the improvement came to an improvement to my psyche when I left the very toxic environment, but that doesn't change the memories of these things. And as a kid, I was rationally like you, very scared. I wouldn't stay certain places. I wouldn't do certain things alone. I wouldn't go places. I wouldn't touch things. And they take me to child psychologists
Starting point is 03:04:33 and I would tell them about these things. None of them were impressed. I got a variety of medications which kids probably shouldn't have. Agreed. But at the end of the day, even though I'm very cognizantly aware that there's like a 99% chance that everything I see exists only up here, it doesn't change the reality of the memories for me. Like, so Kyle, you're or Taylor, you're very reasonable people. If a very unreasonable thing happened, a very spooky shadow person or ghost just peeked around the corner and said, fuck you, Kyle.
Starting point is 03:05:02 And then just disappeared. And you saw it for real, totally for real. You couldn't unremember it. You couldn't remember it like any other different way it would be in your mind forever. So let me ask you this. I like what you've led me here. The memories that you have of these encounters, let's call them. Are they just as grounded? Do they feel just as real as like your 15th birthday party or something like that? Yes, 100%. That's why when I first started my YouTube channel, I can see you laugh already. I endeavored to tell these stories and I told almost all of them in about a 10 or 15 part series so that as I get older and my memory changes and you recall and your retell and things change,
Starting point is 03:05:44 so that at least the best memory I had available at the time existed as a sort of log. But I do remember them as real. Matter of fact, I had something happen when I was 15. It was a bunch of weird noises that made me leave my house. I didn't really like it. I didn't know how to deal with it. So I just fucking left and went to a friend's house. And I had a very awkward conversation telling my friend that, yeah, I want to spend the night here because something is following me around the house and making noises. I don't expect you to believe that. Just humor me.
Starting point is 03:06:09 Oh, not only would I believe it, but I would be like, Mom, he's back. You promised you'd do something. Like, Mom, you said you'd call the police this time. He keeps coming back. You know he's haunted, right? I saw it, too. They say if he sleeps at your house, it kills you in seven days. It kills you in seven days. It kills you in seven days.
Starting point is 03:06:27 Don't watch any VHS he brought with him. You're being drug away by your mom. You're like, it's Jurassic Park! That's very interesting. That's weird. You said that the visual hallucinations, as kid, very intense as an adult fleeting. And it's more almost maybe an anomaly in the corner of your eye that triggers an internal memory of a similar shaped thing is auditory. The same thing where now when you were a kid, it was full sentences, full voices.
Starting point is 03:07:00 And now it's more of just kind of something curious that you don't think exists well weirdly um i had no voices as a kid nothing really oh so much every now and then you would get thoughts that weren't yours uh so to speak more of an idea and less of a less of a words of voice babbling time out again okay so up until now again i don't know much but up until now, again, I don't know much, but up until now, it seems like you've described a lot of things that seemed like they were external. You experienced them as external events, but now you describe something that you experienced as an internal event, something where you had a feeling or a thought that didn't feel like it was yours, which is maybe a sister mental illness, but I don't think coincides with the same illness. I wish we, next time you come on, we're going to have a doctor here.
Starting point is 03:07:51 Okay. Yeah. You can bring a doctor. I'm sure I'll give them all sorts. I'm keeping doctors busy right now, as a matter of fact. And I'm glad that you're open to it. And you realize that I'm not trying to like make light of this, that like I'm genuinely like interested. And I'm telling these stories because they're interesting. think it is interesting content you know it's very interesting content i love spooky supernatural stuff or or just hallucinations you know all right all right if
Starting point is 03:08:16 you if you do then like i mentioned a minute ago but windigoon like like god i hope you get your name right bro uh yeah i fucking love you by the way um he's uh i watched his video about like sea mysteries and maybe i was just in the right mood and the lighting in the room was right it was like two in the morning when i watched too it was creeping me out i was getting like the chills a little bit like like i was getting a little uncomfortable you were getting like those goosebumps pulling the blanket up a little bit. Because he's telling a story of this turn-of-the-century boat going from America to Europe. And the captain brings his wife and his young child. He crews the ship with 15 good men, half of which are close friends and confidants, all experienced sailing men carrying a thousand barrels of ethanol to Europe.
Starting point is 03:09:08 And the ship is found about a few hundred miles off the coast of Europe, completely empty and with no signs of struggle. Food is on the tables. Ink and parchment is out on the table. So the ship couldn't have rocked very much. There's a little water in the hole, but that's kind of standard for those ships of that age. I'll get to that. One of the lifeboats, the ropes have been cut,
Starting point is 03:09:35 and it's missing. Wendigan makes the point that in that time, you wouldn't cut your rope as a sailor at sea on a cross-Atlantic voyage. You have so much rope, and then you have no rope, and your rigging is your life out there. It's a commodity. You need it. They need that rope. You wouldn't cut the rope except in an emergency.
Starting point is 03:09:56 We need it now. There's no time to untie a knot. Ten seconds doesn't exist here. 10 seconds doesn't exist here. And so the people who find it, another experienced captain who takes the ship in to get the salvage rights. So then there's a court proceeding to determine if everything's legit
Starting point is 03:10:13 because you have a... And so they investigated this thing thoroughly and came up with every conceivable theory. And in the end, no one has any idea what happened to the captain, his family, his 12 or 15 crew. They can't come up with a scenario that makes sense yeah for for them to abandon their ship like
Starting point is 03:10:33 that or and the other thing the valuable cargo anything stolen from the show that's what i was going to say the valuable cargo is there the captain's sword is in his quarters you'd think that you know if if things got rough he'd have the sword you know not under his bed illogical yeah so what what was the conclusion of it like that's the they have no idea so he tells like five or six stories about the sea in this one video and the end of every story is who knows like like no one knows and um that all the cargo is intact a thousand barrels of ethanol which i suppose is like reasonably valuable at the time certainly not um a small amount of money yeah it's uh for some reason those creep me out it's it's alcohol yeah yeah so it's just alcohol it's alcohol for industrial use oh you know it's not ghosts right it's not bullshit no
Starting point is 03:11:22 so why did the why would people leave the ship quickly? If you think the ship's going to go down, you leave the ship. If the ship is in a position where you think she's going down and the lifeboat is a more reasonable choice than staying on board. So you've got to think of all the scenarios in which that thought occurs to you. Playing from pirates, weirdly. Well, pirates would rob you, right? They and all you think um so like in my mind i have to get so convoluted all right maybe pirates come but it goes bad and the captain's family is killed and the pirate one pirate turns on the other pirate and he kills that pirate because he doesn't like
Starting point is 03:12:00 that a family's been killed he's there for the money not for all this craziness and then everybody had to go but no that doesn't work it doesn't make any sense there's been killed. He's there for the money, not for all this craziness. And then everybody had to go, but no, that doesn't work. It doesn't make any sense. There's no blood. There's no sign of struggle. I want to say that the 300-pound block that they put the compass in, I don't know what those are called. It's some nautical term for the thing the compass goes in on a sailboat.
Starting point is 03:12:20 It's a big thing. That was knocked over, which was odd because it's heavy. sailboat it's a big thing that was knocked over which was odd because it's heavy and so so in uh i'm assuming in all these examples everybody who jumped ship and like got on the lifeboat they died before they got to shore so there was never any never felt like oh the the ss uh ulysses i was on that what happened was xyz no no this is this is like 15 men who were never seen from again another one was more modern this was that because the first one's 100 years ago the second one was three guys on what looked like a um a catamaran like like maybe like fishing vessel type thing yeah and uh like like all three of them somehow they found found the boat with the sail ripped empty.
Starting point is 03:13:06 And the food was laid out on the table again. You know, the engine was in neutral. And there's a fishing pole out on the deck. And the fishing line is, the hook is in the rigging under the boat. These are all the clues we have. And so they had to do another one of these, like coroner's report things in a situation like this. And the coroner has to write the most plausible thing for what he thinks happened. And his is that guy gets his fishing line stuck, falls in the water. The other guy says, oh no, I'll save you. He jumps in the water.
Starting point is 03:13:40 Third guy throws the boat in neutral because two of his friends are in the water. And the mast swings around and hits him three stooges style, knocking him into the water. And the boat in neutral because two of his friends are in the water. And the mast swings around and hits him Three Stooges style, knocking him into the water. And the boat cruises off, leaving them all to die. This doesn't make any sense. That's what Wendigan said. He's like, so it needs to be like some sort of slapstick comedy. You need Moe and Curly to make that work. Clean out the whole ship.
Starting point is 03:14:02 They're all gone. What about a methane gas bubble? But that would probably sink the whole ship. They're all gone. What about a methane gas bubble? That would probably sink the ship too. If something like that happens, then maybe that could explain people abandoning a ship though, right? But that wasn't the case. The boat didn't have water in it.
Starting point is 03:14:18 In the case of one of the instances, the records were so meticulous that you could tell the hour that it had happened. It was like, all right, it happened between 9 a.m. and 10 a.m. on August the 3rd. Something happened. Because there's an account from 8 a.m. to 9 a.m. and then 9 a.m. to 10 never happens. That is bizarre.
Starting point is 03:14:41 It is. And these make for very creepy stories. Yeah, he's got. That could be you. Stories. He's got. You could go on a boat with your friends and just disappear. You don't know. The ocean is so fucking scary.
Starting point is 03:14:50 And that was. Scariest. Like demons are arguably the least scary thing out there because I don't know if demons can swim. Sharks can. Octopus can. Everything in there that wants to eat you can. Like the ocean is like a big murder factory.
Starting point is 03:15:04 Like if aquaman could hear he would just hear constant screaming of everything eating everything else constantly yeah have you never like read those like excerpts or vignettes from soldiers who were part of like like a destroyer in the pacific that got sank in world war ii and they're just like hanging out bobbing for hours and hours waiting for rescue. And there's like, they have people writing journals, like some of the soldiers, like, yeah. And every, you know, every so often
Starting point is 03:15:33 someone just gets torn down. And it's like, you're just waiting for yourself to be that. I don't know how many sharks they were. 500. Dark eyes, like a door's eyes. Yeah, yeah. Fucked up shit. That's very interesting though. Oh, and Drifter. Dark eyes like a door's eyes. Yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 03:15:46 Fucked up shit. That's very interesting, though. Oh, and Drifter transitioning seamlessly to the standing desk. I usually mute and try to do it less noticeably. The motor can be a little loud. No, we didn't hear a thing. No, we didn't hear a thing. That's the USS Indianapolis, right?
Starting point is 03:16:07 The World War II bomb transporting ship. It might be. I don't know many of the U.S. I think they surrendered on the USS Missouri. There was a USS Connecticut or something that got sank during the war. I don't know the USSes. I don't know if I'm making a joke or not. I'm talking about the boat from the Jaws story. That's a true story about the boat going down
Starting point is 03:16:25 and the men in the water with the sharks. That happened. Well, I'm sure it happened a lot of times throughout history where a boat goes down and there's sharks. No, no, no. The story, the spooky story they tell the night before in Jaws. Jaws is based on that bull shark or whatever that swam up the Jersey River
Starting point is 03:16:39 and attacked a few people in that brackish water inland. They loosely base it on that. But the story that Quint tells, they're down below deck drinking, showing off scars, right? They're laughing it up. You see this one? No. She broke my heart.
Starting point is 03:16:59 And they all laugh it up. And he's like, what about that one? What about that one? And he gets real sober and quiet. That's a little tattoo I had removed. What did it say? Mom. It said USS Indianapolis.
Starting point is 03:17:13 He's like, you were on the Indianapolis? Yeah. And Roy Schneider's like, what happened? Tell me the story. And it's just like not a happy story. They were transporting the fucking bomb. And the mission was so secret that they never radioed that their boat had been torpedoed because their boat wasn't supposed to be there. So like 1500 men or something go into the water, burnt badly in oil slicks that are still burning in some cases, covered in oil, shit, blood and death as the ship sinks.
Starting point is 03:17:43 And no one's going to be coming looking for him for a week or something like that and they're bobbing up and down and the sharks show up and it's the pacific fucking ocean so there's a lot of them and they ate hundreds of men do you guys ever arguable how many sharks ate and how many sharks killed but it was a lot of men who were eaten and killed what's the tv show the website with the gossip i have like tnt in my head but tmz tmz thank you did you see the shark attack on tmz like this yes this dude just swimming and goes under for a second and then kind of man part of a body comes back up so on tmz it was a little blurred out yeah yeah and you're floating face down and half your body's missing odds ain't so great you know i must have seen a blurred version but uh what was
Starting point is 03:18:32 remarkable to me was the blood because i just saw a blurred version and they're like oh my god that guy's this is shark attack and in my head like if someone's in that much trouble you contemplate helping but the shark is ripping him apart. All you can do is give the shark more food. You can't do anything against a giant shark that's eating a person. And if you look at the, I'm sure I can picture this. I haven't seen the video. I'd love to see this video.
Starting point is 03:18:57 But the amount of blood is like, I imagine you, Woody, as a pro, you would be like, oh, that individual is already dead. I'm not going in there. That doesn't make sense. I want to say like a 12-foot diameter circle turned pink and red. It's insane. It was outrageous. Even if you do go in, what are you going to do? I mean, it'd take you 10 minutes to get there because you move like a turtle in water. And you're going
Starting point is 03:19:20 to rescue a dead body. You can see it here if you click on this. I don't think we can show it to the viewers, but it is outrageous. If someone's being attacked by a... Right? This isn't a shark attack.
Starting point is 03:19:36 It is a shark attack. This is a man being eaten. He's very much dead. This is a shark feeding. The man's been dead, right? Well, he wasn't dead till he met the shark this this doesn't even look like an area this doesn't even look like an area of the beach that you would swim out to is he a surfer there's no beach there there's no waves to surf like what does he do right and now look at that look at how quickly all the seagulls descend on his dead corpse to eat him at 36 seconds
Starting point is 03:20:06 you can see how like bloody the water is it's outrageous so you can see like i think what that is woody is that the shark like surging upward with the body and then like turning back down you see some sort of something oh that's a big shark eh yeah and like so i was trying to say is like if a person's getting attacked by a pit bull any one of us could do something right we could hit the pit bull we could dissuade it from continuing the attack we could probably stop it we could hit it with a stick like i probably got a multi-tool in my pocket like there are things we could do this shark i have nothing that catches the shark's attention They're saying at least 13 feet A 13 foot shark
Starting point is 03:20:47 That's more than twice as tall as me Yeah they're saying at least 13 Probably heavy too Probably 4 times my weight Have you guys ever touched sharks, dolphins Big water animals, big fish They're like strong and muscular Like when they hit you, you just bounce
Starting point is 03:21:03 If you move your hand the wrong way On like a shark muscular like when they hit you you just bounce if you move your hand the the wrong way on like a shark even like a nurse shark you can feel like just just ancient scales of armor like you this way totally smooth this way you're like oh no wonder they're so fucking tough there's just an a layer of like enamel and cartilage or whatever it is surrounding them it's an 800-foot muscle just moving through the water. They're terrifying. For some reason,
Starting point is 03:21:32 those hippies told us that we couldn't kill them anymore. Now there are just so many out there. That is not true. The sharks are going extinct. They're saying that not only are there more sharks now than there have ever been at any time in the planet's history this is a pka fact but they're saying that now these sharks because
Starting point is 03:21:51 of the hormones and the people they're eating are a much larger aggressive shark i believe you made that up no i believe it you know milk is making girls get hit puberty at nine. And then the sharks are eating, you know, you know, getting puberty. You know, it all comes full circle. The reason that wings is in all of this hot water. And the reason we have these shark attacks is the hormones. He's a retard. Okay.
Starting point is 03:22:19 The hormones. He's a dumbass who has the PR skills of Harvey Weinstein. No, even Harvey was clever enough to pretend like he was crippled and sick. Even Harvey pretended to be retarded. That would have been such a funny thing if Harvey was like, After being accused, Harvey slipped on the stairs and is now retarded. Are we going to convict a retarded man for having to put him in a hole in the well, man? I don't even remember vaping who's the kyle i need help with the name his name is pete something he's on sml he dated kim
Starting point is 03:22:58 kardashian all right so i know the answer and sml okay well yeah it's p's Pete Davidson. SML doesn't exist. No, no, no. Kyle. Saturday Night Live. Let's say SML. Anyway, he has a great story about Louis C.K. I guess Louis C.K. was on SNL and while he was on it, Pete Davidson smoked weed.
Starting point is 03:23:22 When he goes to Lauren or something, the guy who's in charge of it. Lauren Michaels, yeah. Lauren Michaels and says this guy should get fired. He's smoking pot on SNL. So Lauren Michaels calls him in and he's like
Starting point is 03:23:37 Pete, were you smoking pot? And he's like yes, I always do. And he's like yeah, always do he's like yeah that's what i thought and the story kind of ends but when he tells it it's fantastic because louis ck is like a titan at this point and he's like louis ck is this comedian and he's hosting snl and he's like he's the boss his career is peaking at this point i'm a new comedian nobody knows me i've got this little role on snl and i'm trying to break into the business and he's this guy whose
Starting point is 03:24:10 approval you might want trying to break into the business he's on snl well yeah but he's they do break into there's that's a starting job they make 250 000 a year i think and it might be out of date yeah but um uh anyway he's like so he's the guy whose attention you would want he's the guy who who's maybe respect you would value at the time at the time this is a person who uh who you might look up to at the time and he just kept like nailing how louis ck uh is no longer so we give louk okay well then i i ended great davidson was cool with a smoking weed thing but if he's ripping on louis ck he can go fuck himself louis ck i don't know anything about pete davidson i haven't watched this snl right thing since then but i'm saying started it all
Starting point is 03:24:58 he did was smoke pot on snl and louis ck went to his boss and tried to get him fired. Well, that's Pete Davidson's side of things. Yeah, that is Pete Davidson's side of things, first of all. And he has butthole eyes. And Louis C.K. on his worst day is funnier than butthole eyes on his absolute best day. Go back. This is a PSA to everyone out there. All these comedians you think have gotten too soft, look at Opie and Anthony shows with Louis C.K. from 2008, 2009. Look at ONA shows with bill burr from 2006 to
Starting point is 03:25:27 2012 or actually 2002 2012 with bill burr look at all of these tremendous comedians and look at how fucking edgy they were amy schumer was dirty offensive anti-pc she said wild shit on the opiate anthony show back in the day like that's how people got end up comedy they were hilarious i don't know anything about uh amy schumer's comedy i haven't watched her stand-ups but like louis burr all these i i'll just fixate on louis because apparently that's who pete davidson decided to challenge pete davidson is a fucking loser compared to louis ck louis ck is funnier on his on his worst day and ariana grande i don't give a fuck they're comedians the bar by which they are judged is funniness oh i'm a comedian the bar in which they judged is who they bone if you uh if you judge a comedian based on who they're fucking, then they're not funny.
Starting point is 03:26:26 And chicks dig funny guys. Look at that guy. Look at how unfunny he is with his AIDS status. Everybody saw the Suicide Squad, right? Jim Kardashian and Ariana Grande are after him for his... I liked him in Suicide Squad. Look at that. He's posing with what looks to be an exhumed corpse. That's Machine Gun Kelly, right?
Starting point is 03:26:46 No. I don't really know. But that guy's mouth looks fucking photoshopped on. Alright, well, I've had enough of this. I don't care. I'm defending Louis C.K. Louis C.K. was a funny-ass comedian, and if Pete Davidson is hunting down Louis C.K.,
Starting point is 03:27:03 no, I'm taking Louis C.K.'s side. Pete Davidson won. Pete Davidson won. We'll see. comedian and if pete davidson is hunting down louis ck no i'm taking louis ck started your guy davidson one a pete davidson one we'll see yeah we'll see i guess that's okay i got a new motorcycle no one is beating down the doors did you say you just got a new motorcycle this was megan how many do you have now is that six no um i I have... Is it five? I have three street legal bikes and a dirt bike. So you could... Some people count the dirt bikes. What's that come up to?
Starting point is 03:27:33 Well, some people don't count the dirt bikes, but so three or four. I have three or four motorcycles. I count them all. We're going to say four. I count the dirt bike too. To me, it's a motorcycle, but... Some people,
Starting point is 03:27:42 the people who are addicted to buying motorcycles, don't count it. If there's some cocksucker out there that would take issue with Woody answering the question, how many bikes do you have? Four. Actually, that's not road legal. It starts to make more sense when the dirt bikes get smaller and they're like pit bikes
Starting point is 03:28:02 or little things without suspension with a lawnmower engine like wheels and a motor bike you got a motorcycle well then i have four kyle that's a lot of bikes you're starting a gang yes uh here's what happened like so all my bikes have like dirt tires on them which is fine they're street legal but they're they're kind of a hybrid. And I wanted a real road bike, one that could take corners faster and had smaller tires. And I was going to make a supermoto out of one of my bikes. And I forget who I was talking to. It might have been Scum, but he was like, if you can afford another bike, you should do that.
Starting point is 03:28:40 You don't want to have to swap the chain and tires for changing the purpose of the bike. Just get another bike. You'll be happier with that. And I just happened to update the chain on one of my bikes. And it took me like half a day. And I'm like, fuck it. I'm not fast at this.
Starting point is 03:28:55 I don't want a half a day's work in the heat every time. It's all right. I'm looking at classifieds. And the guy's like, I don't want money. What do you have as a trade and I'm like I got a pickup truck that's been rotting in the sun for three years
Starting point is 03:29:12 you want it and he's like yeah so I take it to the car wash the battery dead as a doornail I had it on a battery tender and it still was fully fully dead but I could jump it it wouldn't take a charge the alternator wouldn't charge it so i bought him a new battery ran it through the car wash and i traded the old tacoma for a new motorcycle and
Starting point is 03:29:35 i've been having a blast with what do you have what bike so it is a ktm 500 exe in supermoto trim it also came with the dirt wheels. Is that the orange? It is orange. It is a hooligan bike. It's basically a scooter that goes 100 miles an hour. It looks like a motorcycle. Low-end torque, like a torquey bike that you could wheelie.
Starting point is 03:29:56 If you just turn it, it wheelies by accident. It is outrageous how powerful and zippy this thing is. All of my bikes have like 21 inch wheels yeah that's actually looks a lot like that yeah all of my um all of my bikes have like 21 inch front tire and i guess 19 in the rear and uh um you know they don't lean and turn and change direction quite like that zippy little thing so you've got tires like that on there i do yeah
Starting point is 03:30:22 man that's gonna be you're gonna be able to do some slick stuff if you wanted to with dude i'm already driving like an asshole the first day i took it out i went down like a flight of stairs in front of some store that was closed down into the i would so was hoping you were about to say some high school kids or something to show them up yeah no i'm just like driving over curbs, pulling wheelies at like every stoplight in Raleigh. You're like, oh, what's the ticket? $150. Give me two because I got more wheelies. That's the price of admission.
Starting point is 03:30:56 You're like, that's cheaper than a ticket to Six Flags. That's more fun than I can imagine for $150. I'm just driving it like yeah driving it like an asshole everywhere i go every day i taught my wife to learn to drive it today so we went last week to the harley davidson dealership we were like what if we get one of those big bikes you've seen them on the highways where the woman is like elevated and she has arm rests i was like what if we do that and? That becomes like a weekend vacation for the Woodworths every now and then. It'd be fun.
Starting point is 03:31:27 And then she got the idea like, what if I learn to ride a motorcycle too? And I'm like, well, fuck. We'll try it on and see how it fits. I was going to put her on the DRZ, but it sat too tall, so I put her on this ridiculous machine that does wheelies by accident,
Starting point is 03:31:44 but it turns out in the grass if you turn the retire just slides yeah yeah so uh anyway she can't fuck this up what could go wrong she did fall twice but um i've got her all in her own like gear and everything she's all padded and man this is great i. I love this. Is she your lieutenant in the gang? Woody, do you know Zach, will you pull up the Pokemon picture where it's the guy and girl back-to-back with their arms crossed?
Starting point is 03:32:16 Like wearing their trainer uniforms? Team Rocket? Oh my god. Team Rocket with Jesse and James. You know what's funny? In the later seasons jesse uh trained uh hang on a minute i want to watch woody's wife ride a fucking motorcycle here yeah i want you to like that but when you're motor yeah leather armor and shit like helmets on and everything where does it my
Starting point is 03:32:41 it used to be when i turned my phone sideways, the image would go. Anyway, there she is. There's a setting for that. If you pull down from the top. There's a wobble selector. There's a setting at the top? Yeah, there's a wobble selector. Woody, is that your yard?
Starting point is 03:32:58 You have a wonderfully flat, usable yard. That's great. We do have a pretty flat yard. It's nice for launching the paramotor too oh i i know that that's true woody but how long before we put in the bmx stuff in the backyard how long until the rc every every day every day you put the bmx stuff off is a day you don't have bmx stuff imagine this that is undeniably true i don't have BMX stuff. Imagine this. It's undeniably true. I don't know how much one of those foam pits cost with the foam cubies. I bet they're too expensive. That would be wild. You could do any kind of acrobatic stuff you ever wanted.
Starting point is 03:33:34 That would be awesome. You could learn to do backflips on a motorcycle safely for, I guarantee, less than $12,000. I mean, why wouldn't I? Yeah. Woody, are you trying to lose money on this deal of foam cubes that you could put in a pit in your yard? Think of the property valuation. Oh, there's a huge pit with rotten foam cubes in it
Starting point is 03:33:57 because it rains here because it's the world. I don't know how you solve the rain on the cubes scenario. Just cover it when you're not using it, right? You would think maybe a big slide over the top, like a swimming pool. Yeah. You could just use a swimming pool. Drain that bitch. Foam goes in.
Starting point is 03:34:13 But if you miss, you hit concrete. Yeah, well, the water will fuck up your bike. You're on a bike while you do this flip. Are motorcycles waterproof? No. No. What if you take it out real quick no water gets in the carburetor let's waterproof the motorcycle that's clearly the job but anyway yeah we'll call it a wife
Starting point is 03:34:33 i got a new motorcycle my wife's riding it uh she doesn't have a license or anything she's riding in the yard and uh she learned to stop and start and go around and i'm having a blast on it i ride it i'm ridiculously irresponsible and it's a good time. That's a really good way to learn. The idea is, so that's like the thing we're trying on to see if it fits. You know, the idea was she would be my passenger and then she's like, maybe I want a bike. And I'm like, fuck, that sounds like fun too. So we'll see where it goes.
Starting point is 03:35:03 That's really fun. That's very nice that your wife is taking an interest in that i've experienced something on my own level of nerddom i'm not into bikes i'm into to weightlifting and archery and that kind of and magic the gathering those are my main hobbies women repellents just Just an absolute retard. I am the other side of the magnet with women with those hobbies. My wife recently was like, I bought these
Starting point is 03:35:34 they have, it's called Game Night. It's a magic set that you can buy offline and it's there's green, black, white, red, and blue. Those are the five colors and it comes with five decks, each one monocolor and then turn down life dice and like other stuff. And so I bought a set because I have some friends who like want to learn. And I was playing that with my wife.
Starting point is 03:35:55 We were playing like in person because she was like, you're always playing magic. Like, I want to learn how to play it and play it with you. And I was like, first of all, you're awesome for indulging my nonsense in this. I was like, first of all, you're awesome for indulging my nonsense in this. And she starts playing and I get her after the physical games into arena. And I download arena on the laptop I bought for and put it on there. And we start playing on arena. And it is it is so much fucking fun. Like she's enjoying it.
Starting point is 03:36:24 I'm enjoying it. I'm enjoying it. I'm teaching her tactics and strategies. She'll play a game against someone online with a deck that I built for her and be like, Taylor, I don't know what to do here. And I'm like, hmm, it's good you came to me. Because if you play this card first like you wanted, you're not going to activate those three triggers. You want to play this one, then this one to counter a potential thing and then finally the third one she's like okay that kind of makes sense
Starting point is 03:36:48 that kind of makes sense and so like i'm getting all the enjoyment of getting into magic again with my wife and we're playing all the time like i'm i never thought and i like and it's one of those things where i'm like are you actually having fun or are you still humoring me like are you really having fun and then like i realized she was like really having fun when like we were sitting there and i'm playing magic she's playing magic and i we just have impractical jokers up as the background thing and i like get up to be like looking behind her like can i just kind of make sure this woman to be exactly like you beard and all beard and all married dwarven woman i get up to go behind her to like look at her screen so i can help her because she was working on the color challenges and i was like
Starting point is 03:37:32 so you want to play this and she's like don't don't fucking say anything i need to learn this i need to know on my own what the right moves are and i'm like okay and like i'd walk behind her to watch and she would be like don't don't watch me i'm and i'm like okay and like i'd walk behind her to watch and she would be like don't don't watch me i'm embarrassed i'm embarrassed that you're gonna see me do a move that you think is stupid and then you'll think that i'm stupid and i'm like no let me help you you had her where you wanted her all you have to say is you want my wife fucking rules you hug her and you say you know me so well you kick her from the top of the head and then you sit across from her and glare.
Starting point is 03:38:08 Just sit across. Play the fucking card. And then you have one of those chest timers. Click. No. Because she's trying to figure it out. I took the time and I built like seven decks
Starting point is 03:38:23 just from comments. and that's that's called pauper that's a format it's called pauper you only play with common cards not uncommons not rares not mythic rares because obviously the rarer a card gets the better it is and so it's a fun tactic to try and make a car a deck with just commons and so i was playing her with these commons decks and unfortunately because i'm actually good at magic i made some fucking dope ass commons decks with really good combo replay like they wouldn't survive in like main match but like against her she was like why are your decks so much better than mine it's like because yours are one fucking stoned intern for five minutes at wizards of the coast being like this is a bunch of green
Starting point is 03:39:06 cards put them together and like mine is like i actually built a deck and so i the next step to get her further into it is i need her to go to the deck builder and take the time to search the cards to build a coherent strategy because once you've built your first deck independently you you you you internalize the strategies more and it becomes more second nature and so i'm i'm having a great time just late at night randomly it's like hey let's uh let's have some fun and then we can play some magic and it's like oh this rules this is great like let's just let's just play and then sometimes i'm like no not until after we play magic 10 times that's your warm-up.
Starting point is 03:39:45 That's what gets you going. But what are you going to do when she gets really good and she just starts dominating you in Magic and she's like, I wear the pants now and she does the show and has the beard. She won't. I'm too good at Magic. She can't be stopped. I'll go with the other. Taylor
Starting point is 03:40:01 married a wonderful woman and turned her into him. Turned her into me. No, she's still like... Something I didn't realize, Woody, which you were hiding this under a bushel basket or whatever for so long, is that when you get married, you don't have to worry about
Starting point is 03:40:20 anyone's birthday or anything to celebrate ever again because your wife just kind of logs it yeah and just takes care of that stuff which is very hey what are you getting everyone for christmas well i got my wife something shiny and everything else was handled on my behalf and that's great i love those feels let's think of you get a partnership you kind of balance each other out you have different skill sets you do different things that's kind of stuff and i grade it yeah uh it's a system that works we have i've said before we have y'all y'all y'all smoke and play
Starting point is 03:40:55 delta eight or you just oh no we we uh we we smoke uh a tremendous amount of delta eight i take a huge amount of edibles usually and then I'm just ripped to shit playing whatever either Magic or sometimes we play Super Smash. She doesn't like to play Super Smash that much because she doesn't know the moves and I just kind of dominate. But yeah, Delta
Starting point is 03:41:18 8 rocks. It really is like I've had people in my real life push back and be like, no, it's not the same. And then they like have to step back because of the same. And then they have to step back because of legal stuff. And then they start smoking Delta-8 and they're like, yeah, it was the same. You were right. You just have to take literally twice as much.
Starting point is 03:41:34 So Delta-8 doesn't really do it for me. But THCO does. THCO is pretty wild. I thought you liked Delta-8. That's dangerous shit, bro. That gives people seizures. Not yet. What is THCO, Drifter? Can you lay it out? you like delta that's dangerous shit bro that gives people seizures not yet what what is t good luck oh drifter can you lay it out why uh thc is thc delta i forget the delta but it's an acetate they add an acetate molecule to it which i don't remember the details it changes how it's
Starting point is 03:41:57 absorbed in both your bloodstream and in your brain and there's blah blah blah math basically thco is roughly twice the strength of regular like california weed and a lot of people like it it also tends to be more hallucinogenic which is super fun but at least in the state of oklahoma they had a series of people having seizures from it because i i guess it was too strong or something a bunch of pussies i have somebody gave me a shit ton of it for free, and I was too afraid to even try it because it seems unhealthy. Isn't THC like a natural?
Starting point is 03:42:31 I can just mail it. THC is a natural seizure suppressant. Say that again? It's supposed to be. I don't know why it does that. THC is supposed to suppress potential seizures. But if you want free cannabis i'll give you a tip all you need to do is upload a weed video not long after the octoberish
Starting point is 03:42:50 appearance i posted a tour of a cannabis farm where we did the whole thing it was like 40 minutes of like me and this whole like endless field of weed or whatever and it's like 700 000 views and all these companies they just like google people that are making weed videos. And I get emails all the time. Hey, do you want to try my products? Hey, do you want to try my products? Hey,
Starting point is 03:43:08 we got a Delta eight and it's pretty much just like, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. And now I have this literal like basket of Delta eight. I can carry around the house with everything that you can imagine.
Starting point is 03:43:18 It is. Let's, is there a way we could pivot the podcast into getting Kyle and I a bunch of legal. Is there a way we could pivot the podcast into getting Kyle and I a bunch of free legal? I was just imagining sort of a situation where we would just we'll talk about this later. Don't give away any good ideas sponsor or pivoting off of that in a weird way. Delta eight fixed my back recently. So you may know it's spines broken, two pieces, not super comfortable.
Starting point is 03:43:47 I do a lot of core work to mostly hold myself up with the ab muscles. They're not anything impressive. It's unfixable. What does that mean? That means that the surgery you do to get it fixed has a much higher chance of failing than helping. So it's smarter, especially since i'm younger and relatively okay to build muscles instead but that's not really the point bad back whatever uh did a bunch of
Starting point is 03:44:11 delta eight with my wife very much so like what you were talking about taylor we did a lot of that and we played video games while i have no some adult swim shit was on tv that was my night and then we moved on to other adult activities. And as a guy with a store back, yeah, I have to be a little bit more careful. We got to pick our positions a little bit, you know, tactically, but I'm highest. Fuck, I am lit. I'm not thinking about anything of that. I'm just jumping on there like I'm 19 and like, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang. It's kind of dangerous given the problem. And midway in, I do it and I feel a pop. And I'm like, oh, shit, because I can feel it in the vertebrae that's not so well connected.
Starting point is 03:44:52 And I'm like, oh, God. Oh, I'm like having a fucking anxiety attack. And I'm like, well, it's not hurting. Might hurt like a motherfucker in the morning. This might be my last time for a while. Better go here. And, you know, just pass out like that weed hanger. We're just like dead. Wake up in the morning. and the first thing i remember is like oh fuck i had rough sex last
Starting point is 03:45:10 night and i popped my back so i'm like getting out of bed like really cautiously with like all the little support handles and i'm like okay it doesn't hurt like weird and like move around i'm like wow that actually feels kind of good back there you bend over stand up do a squat i'm like wow i think that's like way better than yesterday what the fuck did i do i think i literally yeah i fucked it back into place i was super happy with that and i say that is marijuana not marijuana it's delta doing its job yeah that's medical i'm first of all it's great that you fucked your back back into place oh it's lovely best way to do it kyle you were you liked delta eight for a bit until you were like this isn't well i discovered there's something stronger well it was never but is dealt is dealt is thco is it the same feeling i'll get from delta eight and regular weed because that's what i like about delta eight yeah is it
Starting point is 03:46:03 gives me the same relaxation as regular weed. I don't mind that it takes twice as much to get to the same level because it's the same sensation. Like THCO, I don't want to feel like fucking neurotic or like really energized or something on it. You get like really, really itchy but it's mostly your eyeballs
Starting point is 03:46:20 so you can't scratch them. This is so fun. You're not going to scratch your eyeballs unless you do too much and then you go like crazy at them but just don't you don't do too much just do a reasonable amount of thco no it feels exactly like marijuana um it's just it's just you need way less of it than delta then like delta a and it's you know it's all cheap like like i uh i i order it from that uh that website where you could it's like 50 cents a gram or something like that it's so goddamn cheap what's your standard dose what do you what do you take i i've been using like mostly these vape pens like this is actually from my gas station this is from the website this is
Starting point is 03:46:54 called canna beast c-a-n-n-i-v-e-a-s-t canna beast.com and i've got the uh what is this fucking acapulco gold acapulco Gold. Acapulco Gold. They even spell cannabis with an I instead of an A. It's like cannabis. It's not the same. Yeah. The girl at the gas station, she's like, we have Delta 8 and 1.5.
Starting point is 03:47:18 I'm just like, no, I want the THCO. Why is the girl at your gas station talking to you in this way? Does the hallucination part of it work? It's supposed to be more psychoactive? Does it make you see things? Fuck no.
Starting point is 03:47:32 That's a shame. I love that shit. I've done a lot of acid before, and I saw things there, but even then, you're seeing things alter themselves. You're seeing clouds pulsate or breathe, or colors expand and shrink and stuff. seeing things alter themselves you're seeing like clouds like pulsate or breathe um or like colors sort of expand and shrink and stuff you're not seeing like a fucking pink midget dance into the room or all right that's fine yeah never anybody wants that i would love that but but if a pink
Starting point is 03:48:00 leprechaun came in he was like oh and like like had some gold and had to chase him around for half an hour that'd be the best drug in the world. I don't know what I'd say. I, if they were like, it's a thousand dollars a hit, I'd be like, how long does it last?
Starting point is 03:48:13 You've definitely done the most for that. Have you ever had synesthesia from cannabis or Delta eight or THC? I don't know what that is. That's where you can like your senses get mixed up. You can hear things visually. You can taste sounds and stuff like that. No. It's where your brain doesn't interpret input correctly.
Starting point is 03:48:34 And so seeing blue might make you taste something. Or feeling something might make you imagine. I'll tell you what. If I ever taste blue, then I'm going to reevaluate this whole Delta 8 thing. No, it's not that you're tasting blue. It's that seeing blue triggers something that makes you taste potentially something else.
Starting point is 03:48:54 So it could be water and oil. I refuse to draw a distinction between what I said and what you said. They're both ridiculous things. Yeah, one was retarded, one was well thought out. Same thing. I'm just curious. That's something that happens to me when i get really high and very infrequently that'll happen and i can like taste a sound or something that's really weird but i think it's kind of fun it's not harmful
Starting point is 03:49:16 or scary it's kind of like you know uh what was a sound that you tasted and what was the sound and what did it taste like um a creaky door a little bit less of a flavor felt like a potato chips like i was crunching on something in my mouth because i think it was creaking and my brain was interpreting that as more of a crunch uh certain flavors would translate to like skin tactile sensations and interesting the biggest one was that sound would come out a little bit more visually like if i hear certain musics and whatever that i could i started seeing like a lot of multi-color triangles and stuff but each little beat was a little different and wait i'm
Starting point is 03:49:55 curious about the sound thing so it was this at the same time period that you were experiencing that much more mild synesthesia or was it oh uh like the the other kind you were talking about where you might taste a chip i think i mean it all happens at kind of the same time interesting uh it's not super intense or insane or anything it's just really neato it's like a it's like a neat sensation that you don't normally get so it's been fun no i guess most people would never experience that because like and and it sounds like a neat sensation that you don't normally get so it's been fun no i guess most people would never experience that because like and and it sounds like something that like before we understood the science of the brain people would be like that's bullshit you're making stuff up that's
Starting point is 03:50:33 nonsense but because we know the different areas of the brain associated with different tendencies and feelings and sensations like it is weird that you could have a sensation on your tongue triggered by your eye. So like I got I got a good one. I watched a YouTube video about this. I can't recall what it is, but it's when someone has no sense of fear. They can't experience fear. And it's because a certain part of your brain gets damaged. It doesn't really matter.
Starting point is 03:51:01 So there's there's a handful of people who have this situation. And there's this one woman that was part of the study. And she had never in her life experienced fear because that part of her brain had been destroyed. I don't remember why. Maybe a virus or something or a fever. In any case, someone would come up to her and say, give me all your money. And she'd be like, how dare you pull that knife on me? I'll beat you up.
Starting point is 03:51:22 Just not afraid at all. Just sort of insulted rather. There's no fear. She doesn't know what experience she never had. And, um, they were trying to determine where fear comes from in the brain. And obviously because she has this part of her brain destroyed,
Starting point is 03:51:36 she can't experience fear. So they were trying to find out if there was a more primordial fear. What is the, the most base of fears? What is the, the, the first fear? And, uh And it turns out that it's- Probably loneliness.
Starting point is 03:51:48 It's high concentrations of carbon dioxide in the blood from an external source. So that could mean drowning. That could mean exposure to carbon dioxide gas. So what they did is they took this woman who had never experienced pain, fear ever in her life. And they gave her increasingly large amounts of carbon dioxide gas and the parts of her brain that and the parts of her old brain parts in her brainstem that would process fear in a different kind of animal fired. And she was terrified for the first time in her life by the sensation of having low, high carbon dioxide in her blood because that old reptile
Starting point is 03:52:32 brain is saying we're dying. So basically, she got to the point. Waterboarding is another way to trigger that same fear. Waterboarding for science. So she has her whole brain in function and then they start to inhibit oxygen with the co2 and so it shuts down the least important parts of the brain first what you know parietal occipital frontal uh that's not what was happening here and then it gets to the hind brain
Starting point is 03:52:59 which is the reptilian brain which has no impulse to give you other than i'm hungry i want to fuck and i want to sleep the area of the brain i'm scared no so the area that's causing the fear is theorized to be part of like like the brain stem or the old part of the brain but but but it has nothing to do with like um you know the other parts of the brain shutting down simply the high levels of carbon dioxide caused a fear response like immediately even though her like amygdala obviously like was less responsive because of the lack whatever that part of her brain is that causes fear doesn't exist like when you look at a scan it's a thing it's the amygdala isn't that what there's like there
Starting point is 03:53:35 were like two lobes like all for stress and so they showed an mri or a ct scan or whatever and there was like two dark spots that were symmetrically placed sort of in the frontal part of the brain. And they were like, this is the fear sector. They're black. They should be white. They're gone. Like she can't experience fear.
Starting point is 03:53:52 And they did. Did this help? Did she experience fear again afterward? Because, you know, the brain can rewire and relearn things sometimes. No, the only. No, they. But they did do this experiment to other people who had the same. They didn't sense where they couldn't experience fear and they had the same results.
Starting point is 03:54:10 They could frighten them with it. But the core concept of the whole video was what's the, you know, the scariest thing. And so, like, they came to the conclusion that, like, the scariest thing is that it's uncontrollable, high levels of carbon dioxide in your blood from an uncontrollable external force. But that is a chemical change to manufacture a situation in which chemically you are scared. It didn't find out what is the actual scariest thing to be confronted with, you know? No, no. I think that's clowns. Our brain is afraid of drowning. Our brain is afraid of suffocating at a at a at an older part
Starting point is 03:54:45 of itself and and if you simulate that um then then it just fires regardless of whether you're drowning or not that's why waterboarding like like woody mentioned is so effective like you're we goofed around with that i certainly wouldn't say i've been waterboarded but like we strapped me a chair turned it upside down and poured water on a rag into my mouth for maybe 20 seconds or something and i fucking hated it it was awful i've heard that what you think works doesn't like 20 seconds i think i can hold my breath for 20 seconds right full-on hold nose mouth closed 20 seconds i've got that yeah why is it that waterboarding fucks people up in like five seconds what if um you're you're it's uh it's going into your nose so and because your nose and your mouth are connected like your mouth and that backwards
Starting point is 03:55:33 throat starts to fill up as a swimmer right you're upside down sometimes like uncomfortable in this way i exhale very slowly through my nose and that just keeps the bubble keeps everything traveling in the right direction. Maybe you guys have done this too, right? Where you're upside down underwater and I exhale slowly through my nose and it's not a problem. Taylor grew up with a pool. He knows the scoop probably. Why doesn't that work
Starting point is 03:55:56 waterboarding? So they take that rag and put it over your nose and mouth and hold it pretty tightly so you can't really get rid of the excess water that's in there in a quick and faster than they're adding it back there's always like you're always three quarters of the way to drowning you can get enough out to get a gasp in and then it's kind of filling up to the brink again and like even if you started with if you started holding your breath you've got 20 seconds of
Starting point is 03:56:20 fuck you buddy unless they punch you in the stomach right and then it's like i might actually die now and then you're like gasping a little bit and like apparently like you know like the jackass guys used to say like the best bit is one that hurts a lot and looks like it doesn't hurt waterboarding is the opposite it looks like nothing a walk in the park but everyone who's experienced it says that it is the most grueling i can't breathe like i'm inhaling water my lungs are now heavy they're not working the same and so you guys are young for this ish but there was a time when there was a national debate over whether or not water boarding was even torture right it was okay so you get people who really sort of stake their claim and their reputation on the idea that waterboarding
Starting point is 03:57:05 is not that big a deal it's not torture and it's certainly not true that it doesn't seem to damage people it just yeah we may have even taken that position on this show because i know we've debated before could be yeah and then these like pneumonia i guess what i'm trying to say without saying it is like right wing radio hosts and tv hosts would say that it's not a big deal. They get waterboarded and in seconds turned around. I can't remember the names of who it was.
Starting point is 03:57:33 I think Hannity was one of them. That's what I was thinking. Rush at the time would have died if he tripped. Sean Hannity said he would in a debate. He's like it i'll do it and then like i can't remember who it was but they'll be like it is now day 12 573 since sean hannity said he would get waterboarded next week this is gonna upset a lot of people but sean hannity is a retard and i don't
Starting point is 03:58:02 like him i don't think that upsets that many people. I know, that's the joke. Like, everybody hates this guy. Yeah. You ever listen to his show? No, never. Only on Fox. His radio show.
Starting point is 03:58:13 Do you guys watch the news? I don't watch the news. I listen to news radio, or if you can call it that. I listen to conservative. The Joe Rogan show? I listen to conservative talk radio when it's on because I find it to be very fascinating.
Starting point is 03:58:26 They're the most popular guys in front of microphones in the world. Conservative talk radio guys, you don't hear about it. Nobody goes, Rush Limbaugh hits 13 million concurrent this week. Let's all clap for him.
Starting point is 03:58:42 He's dead. You said they're the most popular people in front of a microphone in the world. That might be Joe Rogan. current this week. Let's all fucking clap for him. He's dead. He is dead. The most popular people in front of a microphone in the world. That might be Joe Rogan. Well, he's lumped in with them. Joe Rogan is like the eternally curious. The hard conservative right. Joe Rogan, Sean Hannity,
Starting point is 03:58:58 Mark Levin. Joe Rogan, that hard right winger. Right, the guy who's for gay rights. And Joe Rogan who's like clips of him being like, yeah, I'd fuck a trans person, who cares? As long as he's mad. He lets looming people on his show
Starting point is 03:59:15 say whatever. Dude, there's nothing I hate more than what radio hosts let guest talk interrupted. Fucking hate it. It needs to be curated so I can know what to believe. Thank you, Taylor. who should curate it um no i like sean hannity has a very good radio show um he he'll present you with facts and he'll present you with experts that are like you know experts in their field and and then he'll leave it up to you he doesn't do i haven't heard him do that anti-mask nonsense.
Starting point is 03:59:45 I have seen him hawk his vitamins, but he's always like – What kind of vitamins is he selling? Like immune support or something like that. But his thing is like – Is it real shit or is it like actually immune? I think it's like a shitload of vitamin C. Like D3 and zinc and – I think it's a shitload of vitamin C and stuff.
Starting point is 04:00:01 But he also talks about like everything, right? Like I think he's former like clergy. I want to say like he was a priest in his younger years like okay so he's gay too look i i don't know when i listen to that guy he seems very intelligent to me it just seems like i don't agree you're talking about listen have you ever listened to a show i've never listened to him why are you like you are sean like yeah yeah that he did go to says he went to seminary school is he a lot different that's what i show than he is on his tv show uh i think he's more extreme um and more willing to like dog whistle and uh it's kind of fun because he has like sidebar
Starting point is 04:00:38 with um like his like engineer this woman who's there who doesn't get a lot of mic time, but she's kind of there to, for him to bounce his ideas off of like, you believe this, you believe what they're saying now. Yeah, that's right. These guys, he's,
Starting point is 04:00:51 you know, he's, he's definitely, I like listening to a rhetorical observer. The rhetorical observer is amazing when you're talking about something like trans teen athletes, for example, something that,
Starting point is 04:01:02 that we all fall on the right side of that little Venn diagram, right? They were like, yeah, I don't know. It seems like women's athletics kind of ends if we allow trans athletes to compete against them because there's no- Just make a trans league. Boom. Problem solved for everybody.
Starting point is 04:01:18 Well, then there's like two athletes, right? I don't care. Then the worst you can do is silver. See, I told you people, you didn't believe me. Separate but equal Taylor, right? I don't care. Then the worst you can do is silver. I told you people you didn't believe me. Separate but equal Taylor. Well played. That is very well played. Comedy comes in threes
Starting point is 04:01:35 and so does bigotry. Why not a non-general Taylor? The third right. For a reason. Not the fourth, not reason. Not the Fourth. Not the Second. The Third. Nazis. You never hear anything about the Second Reich. That must have been a colossal failure.
Starting point is 04:01:53 I think it lasted a lot longer than the Third one. Oh, well, don't correct. I want to say the tagline was like, you know, a Reich to last a thousand years. For the Third Reich. years for the third right or for the second uh whenever i see that footage of that big nazi swastika exploding on the building it like i always thought of that as like like cgi for some reason like it looks like such a fake
Starting point is 04:02:17 explosion when they do it but it just really looks like that it's a it looks like something i don't know animated if you i remember like learning about world war ii and being so like the only thing i took away from it was that every country had different kinds of tanks and all the tanks had advantages and disadvantages and so i got really into tanks for a while when i was like 10 what's your your favorite tank? Well, I like the Tiger. I like the Russian Tiger because it basically was... That's a... No, no, no. It was the tactics they used with it
Starting point is 04:02:54 because the only reason that the Tiger on the USSR side was able to even compete with the German Panzer was because they brought so many. And the meme is always, oh, it's the US with the Shermans that brought so many and the meme is always oh it's the u.s with the shermans that brought so many the russians did the same thing and the t2 tiger tank had yeah that's what i was thinking we got a fact check live here uh tiger tanks are german i was trying
Starting point is 04:03:17 to say that from the very beginning but um what's the big one what's the giant ussr oh oh go no no well what you want to go to the is the uh the mouse uh but it's like however you spelled mouse in german like like e34 i was saying t22 or some shit the t34 soviet tank that was the big one where you did you ever play that company of um company of heroes the the game where you move the squads around the rts game yeah i mean you and I played it together. I probably remember that's you that played that with us back then. Did you play that with us where you could move the tanks around?
Starting point is 04:03:52 It was an RTS with tanks and squads and machine gunners. You're talking about Red Alert, right? Maybe. That was a great game. I haven't played that in a while. I've been playing so much Tarkov, but I could be lured away. Tarkov needs tanks. Tarkov does.
Starting point is 04:04:08 Tarkov's getting APC soon, right? The scab boss on the next map's rolling around on an APC. They'll have tanks before you know it at this rate, right? I hate tanks in a game. I hate it when, like, oh, the way to do well in this game is to get in the tank, and then you can kill all the people who are on foot and pretend you're good.
Starting point is 04:04:27 Wouldn't it be fine if they gave the tank enough downside that one subversive person could throw a bomb on it? We were playing a game recently. We were playing a tank game a while back. I didn't care for it, but everybody else was down. We were three or four men controlling a tank, and everybody had a job, so it was kind of neat. One guy's driving, obviously, and one guy's on the coaxial machine gun,
Starting point is 04:04:52 like the little one, and then somebody's on the main gun. And then we may have even had a fourth in there as our spotter who's just all the time just looking. And he's like, oh, fucking 3 o'clock, fucking 3 o'clock, like on foot. And the coax spins around. They're chopping guys down. And working as a team like that, because in that game, it was really well balanced. It seemed like it was hard
Starting point is 04:05:12 to use a tank. The guys who had rocket launchers in the woods, it'd be hard to spot them. Battlefield did that when they added tanks, right? They made them really hard to control. Battlefield is kind of dead right now. Is it? tanks right like they made them really hard to control as i played battle games i didn't need kind of dead right now so is it battlefield 2077 was a massive flop and yeah in a lot of ways a lot
Starting point is 04:05:34 of ways yeah 2040 2042 whatever 27 it just i just didn't they go free to play or they're considering it or something yeah yeah that's the idea oh good, because I saw this video and look, I don't play Battlefield at all. I haven't played since Bad Company 2, which was a great game. But they showed like a comparison between the previous entry in the series. Was it like 1942 or maybe a World War II? It was World War II and then Battlefield 4 from 2013. Okay. Well, they showed things like sprint animations, like gun
Starting point is 04:06:10 inspect animations, like mag check stuff. There were so many steps backwards on the fine details of the game that you had to imagine that the broad strokes were cheaped out on as well. So many copy paste, but poor copy paste. And so many just step backwards. It's like when you used to pull an empty magazine out of your weapon
Starting point is 04:06:28 it would appear empty there wouldn't be any rounds in it now there are rounds in it it's like look come on like i'm i hate nitpick but this is a triple a title like and you had already like figured this out like you took a step backwards you took a step backwards i would have liked if you step took a step forward and like maybe a step backwards. I would have liked it if you took a step forward and maybe there were scratches there because bullets had been in it or something. Add more detail, not less. Tarkov is getting more and more detailed every
Starting point is 04:06:54 time they put a little patch in. It's getting so... The game, every patch, it seems like the game slows down a little and becomes a little bit more tactical and difficult to play. T tarkov's crazy that i don't know if another game will ever match it in its level of detail and gunplay and realism and like what they do with ballistics what they you said you check to see if your magazine's empty right in tarkov you don't just see if
Starting point is 04:07:23 there's bullets every bullet looks different people who know the game better than me look at what the bullet looks like externally in their magazine to know what is loaded in this thing like if i take someone else's gun i'll look at it and see the mags uh it tarkov is super the uh like i was watching willers play today and I subscribed and I chatted with him for a minute there while he played. He's a really nice guy. He mentioned you. He said that you guys have played before. Yeah, he carried me through a kill scat.
Starting point is 04:07:54 Dude, so it might have been bullshit. I had to kill like 10 scavs with like out armor or something like that. And I'm on woods because I do kind of well getting scavs there. If or something like that. I'm on woods because I do kind of well getting scavs there. If I go through the woods, it's pretty common.
Starting point is 04:08:10 I can get four or five scavs on my own just playing solo and survive. Willers is like, what, you need 12? That should be no problem. He is just finding everything for me, taking me around. He knows where they are. if it's a pmc he
Starting point is 04:08:26 handles it for me he he carried me through that um quite nice he's he's he's the best movement guy and all tarkov he is a parkour master he is he's one of the few players who can make this so this game's movement feels sluggish it feels um cumbersome you can feel like a boat moving in the water sometimes, especially when overloaded. And when Willard's plays, he's playing so slick. He's like a parkour game or something. He's sliding down rails and tucking into windows
Starting point is 04:08:55 and phasing through windows that you didn't think. It's outrageous. He's jumping on top of shipping containers and stuff that you didn't think you could get on top of. Boing, boing, boing. It's great. top of shipping containers and stuff that you didn't think you could get on boing boing like i might maybe i could like get on top of the shipping container if i try it repeatedly and i'm not under pressure and i get a chance to you know and it's like three jumps just to do the hard jump so you know but him he does it in the heat of battle hitting this stuff like like it's nothing
Starting point is 04:09:24 yeah and and like i've literally seen him jump on top of people's heads, and they're confused as to what's happening. He's got a good. He's got my favorite thing about him, though. It isn't how good he is at the game. It's his sort of like entire attitude about streaming, being online, and how to handle that. He is a really chill guy.
Starting point is 04:09:47 He always just says, you know, GG, and like the chat will get toxic or whatever. He'll be like, hey, hey. He played the game same as I did. He came in the raid, he risked his gear, he played his game and I played mine, and guess who's dead? Me. Get over it. I don't care.
Starting point is 04:10:04 Why should you? Don't go to his chat and bother him. Oh, he's talking shit? Hey, people cope with stuff differently, right? He just lost a gunfight. It sucks. I know how that is. GG to him. Don't go over there and bother him. Let's have fun. And I'm just like, damn, this guy's positive. This is good shit. It's really
Starting point is 04:10:20 good stuff. I like Anton's vibe a lot. He interacts with his chat a ton and uh it's often fun and i when i first streamed tarkov would like throw a temper tantrum when i died yeah then i watched better tarkov streamers not do that and do that and i'm like man i gotta be like these guys i gotta be chill i gotta relax i do not like watching people throw a temper tantrum and i think in my fucked up head was almost trying to convince people that this doesn't happen all the time you know like oh this is very upsetting for me can you believe i died so so so
Starting point is 04:10:55 like i i play for like a handful of people in like the discord some of them have no idea what the game is so when like i went in like wiped out like a full five man squad and then two or three more players and like in sequence and i was like this was my best game ever you should know um i've never done anything like this especially that part where i screamed at them you're all going to die this doesn't usually happen this was an all-star moment for me just so we all are clear but then later on like when i completely fuck up i'm like you see what happened there was i thought i knew how to throw grenades i like i don't know what stream i was watching a streamer the other day i can't remember which one it was but it was one of the big tarkov streamers a guy with five six ten thousand hours or something and they were like why don't you
Starting point is 04:11:38 bring grenades he's like i don't trust myself to throw grenades it's like this guy has literally played this game like like he's halfway to that 10 000 hour thing he's had enough air against him with grenades to know it's not his jam like he doesn't think that he's good enough at the game to use frag grenades and i was like fuck this game i mean if he's not good enough you clearly clearly aren't. No, no, definitely not. Definitely not. I kill myself with grenades a lot. I did it very recently. Yeah. And sometimes grenades don't do what the game shows you.
Starting point is 04:12:17 So, like, I saw Larry threw a grenade. And what you do is you yell, bad nade, bad nade, if it doesn't go like you meant it to. Yeah. And that means everyone knows. Shit, bad nades happen to all of us. Get out of here. There's a nade about bad nade. If it doesn't go like you meant it to. And that means everyone knows. Shit, bad nades happen to all of us. Get out of here. There's a nade about near our feet.
Starting point is 04:12:32 On my screen, it was a good nade for a second. For a second, I saw the nade go out the window and everything was fine. So I'm like, Larry's mistaken. It wasn't a bad nade. And then the nade comes back through the window and it's at my feet and i die and it's like fuck i should have listened to him he told me it was a bad need i thought i knew better because i saw better tarkov man was that a glitch yeah yeah oh yeah yeah the game is you know it's a game that's been in development this whole time and there are pros and cons to that people shit on that and i don't like it well i mean there's a very big pro to as a developer saying a game is always in development because then
Starting point is 04:13:09 you're above reproach see that's one way to look at it but but these guys aren't above reproach that they they take part in like community podcasts which discuss the state of the game and where they want it to go and stuff they're pretty transparent about that and i appreciate it uh there's they know it's a work in. They're pretty transparent about that. And I appreciate it. Uh, there's, they know it's a work in progress and it is. And so you kind of have to like take the bad with the good, I guess. But the good part of that is like,
Starting point is 04:13:32 unlike a game like this most recent battlefield game where they're scrambling and like, maybe we just make it free. Huh? Like Tarkov can make, had have a bad patch where they like break the fucking game. And it's like, don't worry.
Starting point is 04:13:43 We'll fix it in like a week or two. Like we'll get you soon uh you know we'll you know like we'll fix it as soon as we can you know we broke the game don't worry we'll fix it and when it comes back it's better it's interesting you're saying that but like also anyone who is super into a game will say like oh yeah after a week it's all good like don't even like it's all gonna be fine oh i will not tell you that about tarkov tarkov has i started playing like two or three years ago it was a fucking shit show it it was so terribly optimized fair enough so many issues i'm still playing the same game they've improved all of those terrible things about 30 it's about 30 better across the board it's still poorly optimized
Starting point is 04:14:26 but i get 90 to 115 frames i can play on 90 to 115 i'm playing in 2k um it's it's still like glitchy but the servers are pretty decent i haven't disconnected in months like maybe three times this wipe i've like disconnected and been like, what the fuck? What do we do? Reconnect, reconnect. That used to happen so much. And this is a game where fuck, that can be punishing. There could be an instance where you were the best you and you shit on everybody and you took your time
Starting point is 04:14:56 taking the magical bullets out of their fucking clips so you could stick them in your asshole and you just piled money on top of money and you're trucking it out and then the game disconnects and you're like I only have 60 more seconds before the game is over I have to get out and you don't have 60 more seconds to like fucking reconnect
Starting point is 04:15:11 you can get fucked you get Tarkov'd as they say like that where it doesn't matter how good you are or anything the game just says no yeah it's addictive as fuck having a great time having a great time as always having a great time so check out tarkov if you're interested in
Starting point is 04:15:32 no check out uh i can lock and load buy some girls girl uh check out uh check out drifter and uh and whatever his endeavors may be right now anything you want to plug drifter uh just my twitter i do a lot of twitter videos uh probably more on twitter than on youtube so i'm very active there at drifter with a zero right yeah same i'm just drifter with a zero everywhere awesome okay uh and uh check out our jizz biz pills. Get yourself a manly load. We're load positive here. We're load positive here, but not. No pause loads, but.
Starting point is 04:16:15 And what else? What are the sponsors? Feels and Blue Chew, I think. Feels and Blue Chew. Get a hard dick and take CBD to help you sleep with your hard dick. So there you go. All right. PKA 583.
Starting point is 04:16:28 All right.

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