Painkiller Already - PKA 584 W/SlushPuppy - Elden Ring, Woody’s Power Move, COD Cancelled
Episode Date: February 26, 2022...
Transcript
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pka 584 with our guest slush puppy back by popular demand taylor this episode of pka brought
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bust a big old nut but well you've been anyways up to lately uh slush you've been playing a lot
of that tarkov you told me before the so much off dude it's uh it's it's an addictive game
it's been a great wipe um is that that's your main game right you don't you don't fuck around
with this stuff yeah i started streaming that so that's been my uh main one but i took last
wipe off because i didn't really like it.
I found it really boring and, like, COD-like.
I was calling it COD with extra steps,
and I thought it was just long load-in times
to just run a gun and shit,
and now they've sort of slowed it down
and made it more hardcore.
They slowed it down again today.
I'm sure you know because you're a pro at it.
Like, they reduced jump height again, you know,
regardless of the strength level.
That's going to hurt Willers.
It's going to hurt people.
No, he'll find the exploit.
No, you just wiggle twice before you see jump.
He's just amazing.
He's good no matter what they do.
There's old people like me.
This will take me a month to adjust to.
I'm going to get shit on for the next month.
Yeah, for sure.
I love watching Willers just do that parkour shit.
He knows his audience likes it too,
so he's just hopping around everywhere
whether he needs to or not.
It's great.
But yeah, I'm glad to see the Wipe's been treating you well
and you haven't gotten burnt out on it.
I'm burnt out.
I haven't played for about a week, 10 days,
or something like that.
I'm probably done for the Wipe.
I just got so rich and I'm so close to max strength
and max endurance that I'm able to do whatever i want and
run whatever gear i want and i still don't lose money and i just got done i sort of like that
you can't just buy all the good gear now though because it's like you need to like you can't just
buy a slick you need to accrue them and like you want a case full of slicks yeah that's like that's
what i've been doing like i've got i've just got so usually i just run with like a gigantic pile
of cash and then just uh buy whatever i need as i'm loading out but now i just have like
piles of shit like cases upon cases just stacked inside each other so yep i did the same i did the
same i'm sure you you put three times as much time as i have i don't know how i mean it probably
helps that you get paid to play i bet that keeps things lively I know, like, do you do a lot of that special stuff
where you're like, all right, today we're only going to use, like,
viewer guns or viewer kits or, like, today we're only going to use...
Do you do, like, goofy shit?
Usually, so I'll do, like, I'll pick a gun and I'll be like,
I'm going to do this today and I'm going to make money with this.
So it'll be like, all I'm going to do is use a double barrel shotgun
or all I'm going to do is snipe all day
or all I'm going to use is pistols and shit like that
but usually it just descends into doing dumb ass shit like just running around naked with
impact grenades and just picking them at people so we did uh we did like vietnam cosplay where
we only used vietnam era weapons and clothing and uh then somebody then you know somebody shits on
you and you're like i'm bringing my good stuff this time so it's you know it's uh it's a great
game i'm glad you're uh you're having fun with it but but yeah i don't want to shift gears
too dramatically and i want to talk anything you want to talk about i want to talk about going to
a skype skype from ukraine but they're about to make the reason i want to talk about little
tarkov is because they're doing it for reals over in uh europe today um russia invaded a sovereign
fucking country of 40 something million people with tanks, with combined arms.
The way we do modern military, all the pieces he moved at once.
Special forces, helicoptering in, airlifted in, rocket bombardment, paratroopers, tanks, armored vehicles, everything.
So I have some army friends.
A lot of army people are into
paramotors and uh they're laying out like they're bringing in the ll88s or whatever the fuck they
are and uh they're like this tells me that they feel comfortable bringing in the big planes
this tells me that they've taken out all the air defenses this tells me it's about to get way worse
and thousands of troops and heavy artillery is
about to roll in via airplane oh and by the way i pointed out they they're doing this in kiev i
think which is the capital and apparently they reclaimed the kiev airport though uh oh i'm out
of date then okay yeah i was reading just this morning that uh so russia bombed it landed
paratroopers and took it and then uh they fought back and
ukraine has uh reclaimed it so but it's it's so hard to find like proper information on everything
it's what do you know that's what they're saying yeah tell you there's uh
i apologize i was saying yeah like i like what he was saying i saw that thing that was like the
kiev airport has fallen but like by the time you get news that they got retaken it could have fallen
again like it doesn't feel like it's a very quick streamline of info when they retook it did they
get those big planes what happened to thousands of people that were in it like how much did they
retake did they get the cinnabon or the whole what i took from that important part what i took from that was that they landed like special forces
there or something like maybe 30 guys and those 30 guys killed a bunch of people at the airport
and locked it down and then the ukrainians because they lived there and there are millions of them
sent in like a bunch of people and killed those people and now they have it again that's what it
says as of seven hours ago, it's under Russian control.
Good information is hard to come by.
Oh, and by the way, as you listen to this on Saturday,
I'm sure this is totally relevant.
Oh, yeah.
Everything we say is going to be wrong.
There's not even going to be any crime. Right?
So maybe we don't give up.
At this very moment, they are crossing the...
Yeah, that's a relevant conversation they are crossing the yeah that that's
that's a relevant conversation but like just the fact that he's done this and the way he's done
this like so it's wild like he just doesn't give a fuck here he there's no real pretense um he's
and and he's got the uh he's coming from belarus as well from the north i didn't see any simulations
uh show anything like that he's he's like whole whole pretense is uh it's like a total throwback though like
because i don't know if you guys know the like the history of the region but like ukraine and
russia used and belarus used to be all the same country and then they split and like kiev was the
capital in the kiev and rus like ages ago this is like sixth century but the uh so they split and then moscow was in charge
of uh the ukraine and then they when they joined ussr they gave them crimea as like a show of trust
and then they wanted it back when after they left the ussr and they were like now we're keeping that
so god and then yeah when they took it back they were like now we're keeping that so god and then
yeah when they took it back they were like yeah this actually belongs to russia so it's like
confused i was i was trying to understand like like wrap my head around how big that
front is you know extending from like belarus and wrapping all the way back around to odessa
whatever the fuck that is in the in the southern Sea down there. I was trying to wrap my head how big that is.
And so I found an overlay of
Ukraine over the United States
because that's what I've driven across.
It seems like it's like three or four
states that they've got there.
It's one of the bigger European countries.
It's the second biggest European country.
Just that front seems to be
like the entire coast from Georgia
to the top of North Carolina or something at least like it's a it's several hundred miles i think the
amount of shelling and like where these troops are seemingly everywhere and the tanks like i
guess it's no surprise but it's like holy smokes this is for real yeah there's way more like i
don't know what i was thinking i don't know shit about it but like
i always had in my head that like oh invasions now are gonna go lighter on tanks it's not world
war ii but like the clips i saw dozens and dozens like hundreds of tanks rolled out and like you
see them like in normal streets like people are like parting their blinds with like their phone
and you can like see tanks going by with like a megaphone which i have
no idea what that means probably stay in your fucking house or you will wish you had like
yeah i think i think tanks are a huge part of uh of land combat especially this kind where he's
i mean he's conquering a country right now uh that what's what's curious and maybe we could
even take bets on this if it's not too disrespectful to do so it's what we think the outcome of this thing is going to be because like
it could go a few ways right like he could just conquer the whole fucking country and say
this is russia now he could install a puppet government if he's able to like take out uh if
he's able to capture the capital and maybe even take out the leadership or at least get the
leadership to flee because as of right now the leadership is still in place in
kiev hiding somewhere i'm sure really and yes it's like so much disparate stuff i thought i
saw something about some high-level ukrainian leadership guy like booking it i mean maybe
some high-level maybe recommended maybe like the treasurer of state left and that would that would
fit the bill but like maybe the prime minister is it a prime minister zelensky zelensky is still there and and he is yeah he got told to
leave he got i would hope so that'd be terrible you can't leave you just know you can't leave
you can't leave no he was he was like no the captain go down with the ship yes or does the
captain go somewhere safer to control the ship no No, the captain goes down with the ship.
Yeah.
He can't be like...
Because this isn't a scenario where he could go to Germany and chill for three years,
and Vladimir Putin's going to be like,
all right, I give.
Y'all talk to me into it.
Take Kiev back and you be the boss.
That is never going to happen.
So it's...
Well, they probably want to instill the previous president because he was like really pro-russia and then he got uh he got voted out
like a landslide elections uh they they told him he right he fled to russia fled to russia after he
got voted out well and so they probably want to try and install him again but i've seen uh i've
seen some really crazy military stuff and and people have been asking me,
what's this gun?
What's that gun?
I'm like, guys, I don't fucking know every AK variant,
but going through the footage,
there were those two gentlemen that were captured.
Two Russians were captured,
and they've got their gear laid out on the ground.
They've got a picture of these two guys.
They look like they're 19, 20 years old,
like little guys.
The young kids, dude.
And they've both got AK-74s with uh those
bake like mags that um potato was telling me they haven't made that shit since the 70s and uh i don't
know they just look scary they got pocket knives like one of them had like one of them had rain
on yeah no body armor someone someone mentioned to me that that it's likely that the reason those
guys are so poorly geared was that they were part of a mechanized unit.
Maybe they were in a truck.
That might be a mechanic in a truck, and the truck broke down.
They ran for it and got captured.
Because Larry was showing me some footage from a month ago of FSB, which is some sort of Russian special forces, I guess, in Ukraine.
And they did not have junk gear.
They had as good a gear as anyone in the planet has they had it they had high-level optics
Western sniper rifles advanced like the highest level shit. No, we don't give anything to the military really good stuff
We had friends. They had French stuff and British stuff
I think I'm talking about the day I think the yeah
So I'm talking about is I'm confused because I feel like they're changing Kyle'm talking about i think they i think they uh i thought that we absolutely helped so i'm talking about i'm confused because i think they're talking about ukraine and kyle's talking
about russia i am i'm talking about russians well i'm talking about russians in ukraine
so so i'm talking about the russians who are invading ukraine and the gear they have
okay i think we weren't on the same page and now we are yeah yeah yeah so so um i don't know the
ones they that i saw them captured today junk, but like I said, I think
someone suggested there might be some.
I saw bodies in the street, though.
The MSB
is the
successor to the KGB,
and so they're like Homeland Security
kind of shit.
Well, they're like the CIA.
Yeah, yeah.
Is Russia putting
their troops along the Poland border?
Is Russia putting their troops along the Poland
border now? That's what I'm reading.
They could be.
I feel like this is moving so quickly by the time
this show ends tonight.
It'll be all new info.
I'm curious.
Obviously, no one knows.
Do you have any fucking clue
what's going to go on.
But, like, what are people saying?
Like, do they think it's likely that Russia is going to take all of Ukraine
or they're just going to take, like, a slice of it?
Seems likely.
I guess that depends on the pushback.
And right now it seems like Russia is winning pretty handily.
And so if it continues this way, they would want the whole thing.
I don't think there's any reason to say that Russia's
winning handedly I don't think we've seen
anything
all I've seen and all I've heard is like
flashes in the distance
and like missiles hitting things
but it's not as if there's like
do you see that map
of all the air bases and shit
that they like instantly off the bat
just fucked up across the whole
country.
So the issue with the
air thing, it doesn't matter.
It's better that they destroyed their
airports right away so that they didn't get their planes
in the air because they only have 50 fucking planes.
They've got 50 million.
The Russians have like
3,000 or something like that, like fighting jet
type aircraft.
It's better that they don't get to put their planes in the air.
They can't have, they have to have more than five, five, zero.
And they're MiGs.
They're out one, five.
What difference does it make?
So it was a given from the beginning.
That's a terrible ratio.
So it was a given from the beginning that the air part was lost because they're just in no way.
They would have seen that coming.
They would have been like, OK, the first thing they're going to do is bomb all the airports.
They would have evacuated them like the personnel and just seen it as a given.
Yeah, I saw video from some sort of like I think it was from a group like what you do, Woody.
Like you some sort of amateur aircraft guy. He uses that airport
and he's like, fuck!
Look at this!
They've hit it with a big bomb that made a big hole
but then maybe some other kind of bomb that makes
so many of these three-inch holes.
A cluster bomb or some sort.
He's just like,
my hobby!
That sucks. The truth and the reality. Yeah. my hobby that sucks
the truth
yeah
no it really does suck I did see
that one guy which I assumed
whenever I see an aircraft go down I don't know if that's
Russians or Ukrainians I don't know if we cheer
or we cry because
we don't know anyway
you're just watching things happen not knowing
if it's good or bad
so I saw like one helicopter go down over water way to yeah you're just watching things happen not knowing if it's good or bad you know um so i
saw like one helicopter um go down over water right and the and the two pilots coming out in
parachutes that water looked cold what's the temperature like in ukraine right now oh it's
gotta be awful cold i can't i can't imagine it's ever nice i always picture r Russia's freezing all the time Oh come on, Ukraine in spring
Ukrainian spring
Let's go hire a yacht
and we'll just watch from the Black Sea
Yeah, it's 35 degrees
Okay, that's not awful
but it's not any good
I did see some
pictures and videos of
shot down Russian helicopters
like the Ka-52, the version
of the, which is essentially like an
Apache. And the field?
Yeah, it was, yeah.
And apparently they shot it down with a stinger missile,
which is like from the 80s.
So it's like, it's pretty retro.
So it looked like the
missile had exploded near it
and like splattered it with shrapnel because I saw like a lot of little damage on the heli.
It's one of those helis that's got like the two things of rotors on top and like the crazy bank of like it has wings with missiles attached on a heli.
And but it's just parked in a fucking field now.
And all these it's I always liked it a little bit, at least like when one of our like space age fucking drones would get shot down over Afghanistan.
And then you'd have that footage of like goat herders,
like stomping on it.
So literally black.
You know,
it's,
it's like,
like they've never seen anything like this before.
It might as well be some star Wars shit landing in,
in the streets of Brooklyn.
But so they're just like stomping on and stuff,
but that's kind of how it was like,
like these,
like people had just now had control of God knows what one of those costs you know tens of
millions maybe 120 220 million u.s dollars jesus christ imagine how many rubles that is
biden spoke i want to talk about the bloody hour it's increasing but okay i don't think i saw it
tell me about it i watched biden's third maybe it was a 35 minute address you know
standing at the podium which is a weird thing i you should have sat at the desk but i think he
stands at the podium when he's speaking to the world and the desk is for the the country that's
my take that's what it feels like so he's at the lectern podium whatever boys look donald trump was
bad on teleprompter a lot of the times and he could ramble if he's not on it. Those are those are two things. Joe Biden can't really speak fluently even when he's reading,
though. And it's frustrating. He didn't do poorly. But like I watched the the Ukrainian
foreign minister, I think maybe he was at the U.N. or somewhere else. Oh, my God. He's so eloquent
and well-spoken. And when they ask him that, was it changed? speaking. Oh, he's good. Oh, my God. He's so eloquent and well-spoken.
And when they ask him that change.
Was it English?
Yeah.
Oh.
Oh, we watched a different thing.
But, oh, sorry.
Perfect English.
Oh, I'm sure he speaks like any language you need him to.
He's speaking in Russian.
The thing I watched, it was outstanding, but I'm interrupting.
He was incredible.
And then I watched our president speak.
And he's just like, just understand.
Now, let me say it again.
What I meant to say was all of them, not just and the republics that he said were republics.
They weren't.
They weren't.
And they're not going to be.
And I said that we were going to do this.
And now we are.
We're going to hit them with the strongest of sanctions.
And they're like, well, what about this, that, and the other?
Well, maybe not right now.
It's like, it's a
pro-minister's design.
No, the sanctions they put down today,
Biden's quote, what he
told me today over YouTube
was that
it's an accurate statement.
Me and my friend Joe.
I heard from Joe today, and he says that the ruble has hit its lowest point ever.
He used the word ever.
Oh, yeah.
It's flat.
Because I don't know a lot about central banking or certainly not global economics,
but he cut off their access to the to western financial
institutions to like several gigantic banks and maybe one of them is the one that like
pays the soldiers so it's like i think he literally may have like made it more difficult
for them to pay the people who are fighting right now in ukraine but i think they're like uh they
they cut off like a bunch of banks and then they also cut
off like a shitload of like super rich russian oligarchs that are like that to the like big
big speakers and shit like that so they cut off like fuck loads of them to try and put pressure
on putin i think yep imports and exports shut down um across the board i saw that like that's
not a big amount like from certainly not from the u.s and russia like back and forth i think we
import like 0.10 percent of their exports come to us or something,
like some fraction of a percentage.
But like 6% of our total exports go to Russia.
So it's like –
So that number, do you know if that was Americans getting it
or American and our allies?
Because I believe that when we sanctioned Germany's sanctions
and England's sanctions and –
Yeah, that's – that's against it though.
They,
Germany voted against cutting them off the,
they wanted to cut them off the swift payment system,
which is like,
that's what the reporter asked about.
Yeah.
And then,
yeah,
they didn't,
uh,
they didn't do that because Germany voted against it.
They didn't want to do it.
Okay.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
We'll see how Germany feels when Poland falls.
I've seen this movie before. Oh no, they're coming again. yeah yeah what's how germany feels when poland falls i saw that thing that woody said where you were like german or maybe it was pkn you're like germany it wants to cancel a like natural gas pipeline from russia into germany and apparently
it already is canceled yeah and then i was like
i was curious since i was like wondering how much of the power germany gets is from russia
it's it's a baffling amount like it's it's a majority of it and so like how is how is well
it's most of europe so what are they gonna so energy prices are gonna go through the fucking
they already have right and they'll continue to get worse and worse if you're a smart man yesterday
morning you brought so many fucking oil commodities i mean absolutely fucking mooned yesterday
not even uh i don't even get a lot i mean i ate a lot of money but i'm just curious like what
how is that going to play out like because if they've been relying on russia for fucking ever
and they were relying on this new pipeline and they just said no we're not getting that anymore like they need a backup plan
like what what and not just like what's gonna happen yeah if they're not getting it from russia
they have to get it somewhere the other thing is i think china committed to buy a lot of russian
exports so china's basically like dude do it do it do it we got your back well you get finance
problems it's cool we'll buy your shit we'll buy your which is a little bit of a different move
from china because they denounced the 2014 grab in the crimea yes but this time they seem to be
at the very least um siding toward russia leaning toward russia yeah for sure it's not like an american siding towards
it is very much intentional like if you i saw the language of their agreement that came it's
hundreds of pages but like the excerpts were like there's nothing that russia could do that would
make us angry with them kind of language like they basically said invade ukraine we're cool with it
well we're gonna buy your exports. We are the closest
to France. And then you've got
Putin's nuclear dog whistle in his speech,
which is always fun to hear.
When he's like,
your countries will face troubles like
they have never experienced in its existence.
And it's like, well, that
was a long way to stay, nuke.
What if he said,
except for you, Japan,
you know what's up.
Except for Japan.
They agreed
with us, took one email.
No, no, no.
Russia got their ass kicked by Japan last time, though.
They fought before World War I
and Japan tricked them.
They were like, yeah, we should have a summit.
And they put all their warships into a dock
and then Japan just bombed the fuck out of them
and destroyed the whole Pacific Navy.
Very sneaky.
Good move.
Yeah, like a fuck.
I tried that move on us.
Plus one illusion magic.
The Japanese are lucky that we didn't allow the Russians
to come in and assist us a little bit more further.
That could have gotten much more bloody.
You know, the other day we said that we should allow the Japanese to rebuild its military
and just forget about that whole World War II thing.
I don't know.
What you just brought up just soured my feeling.
I don't think so.
I think another 50 years or so.
They can only have a military with automaton robots.
That way, it's not going to be a threat for a long time. They're going to advance
robotics on the part of the world, and we basically
have our thumb over Japan anyway. As soon as they get a
cool-ass soldier, we're going to go,
you know what, we're going to go ahead and
take that, and you're not allowed to have it anymore.
Can they be like...
They can be Gundams, yes.
Yes.
I don't want to say Japan, but
now units of military people, like like it's like this
guy's like sergeant so he's the left arm and the captain's the head and they and they take on
russia remember that i don't want to see them with the military last last time that uh last time that
australia and uh us fought against them they'd just be like yeah let's just put this fuckhead
up in a tree with a cup of rice and he'd just sit there for like fucking five weeks and just start killing
people they're too dedicated if i get i get fucking conscripted man i'm lazy as fuck i'm not fighting
against someone with that kind of commitment that's fucked up dude you watching like i know
it's just a tv show but you're watching the band of brothers and like in the first one which is about
the Nazi front
the western front
the allies would be like I fucking got you Hans
and he's like I have been
captured by the Americans
oh no but like in the Pacific
series not as good of a series they'd be like
hey
get over here and the guy's like
ahhh
with like two grenades and i'm like oh my god this is so much worse than the western front
that would be yeah i think you had just running you with a sword and you know what else here's
the other thing like i like to watch those youtube channels they tell all sorts of like
world war ii stories and i was watching one about a guy who had escaped multiple
prisoner of war camps in Germany, or
at least on the Western Front. Let's just say that.
I don't know what country he was in at the time.
Think about that. They treated him
well enough at the first prison camp
that he had the strength not only
to escape, but to go on.
When they captured him again, they weren't like,
oh, we told you what would
happen. They were were like get back
in there and they and like he went on and did some other stuff that wouldn't happen in japan
the prisoner their prisoner camps were awful they just vivisection oh man he would have he would
have been walking out on stumps with his feet so so do his fucking head like oh yeah that's what
happened that's what happened to cotton hill he lost his his shins. What if we put four hearts
in a guy who doesn't
even want them?
Put four hearts in him, he dies.
There was a Medal of Honor winner.
It was Sergeant Cotton Hill.
He had his shins blown off
fighting the Japanese in the Pacific.
They fused his foot at the
ankle at the knee joint.
A man that was once 6'3", 6'4", had to walk around it like 5'0",
for the rest of his life.
But he was a hero.
I mean, like a little-known fact about that story is he didn't need to have his shins removed.
They removed them as material for Japanese leg-lengthening surgeries.
Oh.
Yeah.
Oh.
Well, somewhere there's a six foot tall japanese man as uh
let's not be overzealous five foot three maybe yeah yeah dude this ukrainian is just so fucking
interesting to look at it's wild that we're living through this you know i saw someone
like we're gonna get some revenge and they're're just like, Oh yeah, we're just going to, uh, while you're doing that, we're going to take Taiwan and then invite Japan.
I mean,
China's supporting Russia mainly because of like it,
like they want to do the same thing with Taiwan.
Right.
Yeah.
So yeah.
And so it's kind of like buddies of like,
Oh,
you want to,
you want to sneak in,
take that country, take that, you know, Republic, you want to sneak in? Take that country?
Take that, you know, republic, whatever?
All right, I got your back.
You got my back.
Maybe I'm crazy,
but I would think the Chinese leadership
doesn't want to be viewed as a thug
the same way that Vladimir Putin's being viewed right now.
I think since they've taken so long to like,
I know they've always been a threat with Taiwan
and several areas in that region,
but it's like they've never like just stormed in there and conquered it when they
clearly could have that's that's not what they want then obviously so they really want to like
find some sort of middle ground where they negotiate for it or they win the people over
somehow and like get them to just agree to it that seems to be what they want to do there
that or they're really scared of the u.s and and they're doing a good job of of not showing it
um but uh but vladimir putin is clearly let just i this this will never they're not going to forgive
him for this like the the leaders of the world i don't think he's going to be viewed differently
from now on this is a different thing he's done this time how much longer does he want to lead so he's 69 putin and until recently i
would have said yeah fact check me i think he's 69 um until recently i would have been like he's
gonna retire soon right no one leads past like 71 72 69 and now it's like okay he is 69 but with
with our recent leaders like i think trump's gonna get reelected he's the
he's the favorite right now i don't know how old he'll be when he gets reelected maybe 100
like suddenly 69 seems how are you electing these people like oh we're regretting grand was
my grand was getting shuffled off to a fucking home 10 years before these fuckers even started
running for election like everyone i know that that is that age is fucking retarded
you could probably you could probably get into like fucking fraud why are these people running
dude yeah so all right yeah one why isn't putin retarded by now he's 69 or maybe he will quickly
be in two years or something i don't know all right just be clear like some people like keep
all their wits like throughout their whole life, though. Not everybody goes
senile. That's not a given.
Most of them do.
Right before death, I'm sure.
Betty White wasn't good
for the last three years. Look at this tank of a man.
You think that guy's going senile?
I saw that guy speaking at his white
desk, first of all.
2016? He's 63
in that?
I don't know when that picture was taken or how sharp it is he is he is having work done it's gotta be because i even saw his i yeah you look at
his face from like the russian speech he was given uh like last night or whatever about the invasion
and everything he's he's he's getting some some filler done no 69 year old has that smooth of
foreheads especially somebody as undoubtedly angry as he is.
If you want a good look at him.
Furrowing brows all the time.
Have you ever seen the Oliver Stone interviews with him?
I didn't know those were a thing.
So about five years ago, Oliver Stone sat down across from Vladimir Putin
and did like hours worth of interviews that are on.
I think they're on HBO.
If you search like Oliver Stone Putin interviews, it's fascinating.
And you see how he became a leader and how he won people over because he's very charismatic and he really does seem like a strong, confident leader. UN rep said today, or maybe it was last night at this point, he looked across at his Russian counterpart and said, just to be clear,
there's no purgatory for war criminals. You go straight to hell.
I was like, that's your statement?
Why are we putting up Russian propaganda pictures?
I don't know.
It's such a juxtaposition
for what I'm trying to do.
Zach's like,
no, Kyle, look at him. He's ripped.
Can you imagine
how unflattering Trump would be on a horse?
Like that.
All of that gut.
I imagine he looks
like me.
It's a Clydesdale.
He borrows it from Anheuser-Busch.
Yeah.
Giant fucking Clydesdale.
In fairness, it would be
tough to look good sitting on a horse.
Putin doesn't even do it, and he had all the Photoshop
ists in all of Russia.
All the Photoshopists?
I think he looks fine on that.
I think he looks fine on that horse, and I think
that... He's probably in his 40s I think that... I feel like he's
willfully showing some clear imperfections.
But then, because he knows
everyone's going to be like, dude, first of all,
he doesn't give a fuck what you think, clearly.
He's shirtless on a horse right now.
But of course he cares what you think. That's why he's on a shirtless.
That's why shirtless on a horse right now.
Let me see if I have this.
Posting shirtless pictures is a power move.
That's your core. That's what we're getting at.
If you're the leader of a fucking country and you're trying to...
No, no. You and your rules, Kyle.
Posting shirtless pictures is a power move.
I like the rule.
So it's rape, Woody. That doesn't mean it's good.
Woody is a man after Putin's own heart
when it comes to shirtless photos.
When it comes to foisting unwanted shirtless photos
on the world.
I now know how women feel in the workplace.
I feel like I'm in Activision every fucking day.
You said it was time to see him again.
I have to.
I mean, Kyle's our head of HR here.
I text him all the time.
I feel assaulted.
I tell him there's nothing I can do.
I'm being exposed as well.
Yeah. I need him there's nothing I can do. I'm being exposed as well. Yeah.
I need to check this out.
I've never heard of the Putin interviews, so that's interesting.
Yeah, very good.
Very good.
He's sitting there fucking sipping his tea like a Bond villain and telling you why he does things the way he does.
It's pretty interesting stuff.
Oliver Stone caught a lot of flack for it because he, you know, he's talking to Vladimir Putin.
He's sitting down giving him that audience or whatever.
But it is interesting to see what he's got to say,
regardless of how.
Yeah.
Did you know that Sean Penn is on the ground right now
in Afghanistan?
Oh, look at that.
Look at that.
He could lead a country, that guy, I think.
Oh, my God.
That guy would beat the unloving shit out of Putin. He'd beat the shit out of Putin.
He'd beat the shit out of Putin.
They would kill me shortly after.
As long as he lays me to the bedroom
afterwards, I'm not going to be happy.
Could you tweet
that at Russia right now
and Vladimir Putin and say, let's go?
At Russia is actually Russia, by the way.
You'll get to him
slush puppy if i lead you to the bedroom just use a fake bladder mipoo you don't want to upset
the real one i want the bottom i've been doing a lot of glute work and it shouldn't go unnoticed
oh you put a bit of a pale bottom
all right we don't very good that's
blaze kid now we got it
no you look tremendous that's not even your best photo i thought the other photo was better
i i thought i got that's to me is the best i thought that was your best one yeah i guess
it depends what you like the abs weren't as defined in that but yeah but the shoulders
yeah i guess that's a bolder shoulders in that one. Real strong. Well, is there anything else on Ukraine and the world that we can enlighten people three days from now?
Any bets?
I don't know.
It's funny because we could look really dumb in three days.
I bet that Russia quickly scatters their troops around the country, but that there's infighting and sniping going on
like that kind of resistance like like the iraq sort of like hey we did it we rolled in at 80
miles an hour and took the whole country and then afterwards oh shucks you know that now there's uh
what do you call it like a guerrilla fighters guerrilla fighters maybe what i was looking for
there's another word that i can't think of but you know guys insurgents yes i kept saying insurrection in my head now there's
insurgents like popping up all over the place causing trouble yeah my bad as well i think that
if they try and hold it out then they'll probably just ramp up the bombardments and then it'll just
become really bloody i'm sorry i thought there was a break russia's not kind like america is
like america moved into iraq and they're, we're trying to win over their hearts and mind.
I think Russia will move into Ukraine and be like, we are trying to get them to quit.
Fuck these guys.
You know, that's how we won World War Two.
We I think you're right.
But I also think that's a very charitable take towards the US and how we handled Afghanistan and Iraq.
We fucked up millions of people's lives by
doing that. Innocent people.
We've saved them. I think they're a democracy now
and they're grateful for it.
And if they're not, let us know
because we know the way back.
No more democracy, please!
We can't handle 20 more years of democracy!
I also feel it.
No more democracy!
You need any more, just read them.
You just let us know.
Please bring us back to Earth.
Give us an evil despot.
He can believe anything.
The moon is cheese.
Just love democracy.
They just associate democracy with fighter jets and tanks.
Fucking water.
Yeah, it is interesting.
I don't know what's going to happen.
It seems like what you said makes the most sense.
Like, of course, Russia is the stronger military military so they could do that jump on through and like act like that everything they've got up to that line is conquered and then it's a big
clusterfuck for a while i only had 200 000 troops on the border and that's like the ukrainian
military is uh it's 200 000 troops plus called up like reservists.
So I think it's going to be a pretty bloody fight if they're going to do it.
I think they're going to resist.
I hope it does not get to that.
What I don't know how big a factor it is, is the people of Russia that want peace.
of Russia that want peace. It seems like in China, their military and a lot of their biggest fears are Chinese people not liking the Chinese government. In Russia, it seems like they
have a lot of concerns about Russians not liking the Russian government. In America,
I never worry about that. I never really worry about civil war, I guess, until Trump was president.
But prior to that, it was never like there was going to be some insurrection people trying to overthrow our own government um now at Russia they're protesting in the name of
peace like they're all over I think it was Moscow I forget maybe you've seen the video and stuff
yeah I saw one in like St. Petersburg okay um like is that going to have any impact is is Putin
going to care if his people are mad no apparently
there's like a thousand people there was a uh there was a quote let me get my bed in for what
happens it was my idea and then everybody went and then started talking about other stuff um
it seems like they want to uh take the leadership over with the attacks on kiev like them trying to
take the airport them coming in from the north uh via belarus and then uh and then all the strikes in the capital. If they're able to
capture, kill the leadership, you would think that's kind of it. That everything
could just fall at that point. I don't know what happens in a modern war
when the president is captured or killed. And then the capital
is taken, and then they start shooting cabinet members until one says,
I'm the president now and they say
okay, so what do you think we should do? We should declare
peace. Alright, president
go declare peace. That could easily
happen quickly. But if that
doesn't happen, you would imagine that
I don't know, this thing's going to go on for
a long time because they're passing out rifles
right now to the civilians. They passed
out 10,000 rifles in one city today
to just anyone who would take one. Well, right now to the civilians they passed out 10 000 rifles in one city today to the this is just
anyone who would america take one well and maybe if you want military hardware like i don't know
what they're passing out i'm joking but that's a good point no but you make a good point like it's
it would be more difficult because like i mean i guarantee all my neighbors have guns even if i
don't play like they give you one if you needed it yeah yeah yeah i think that like the main point that would make
it hard for to conquer the u.s is just like the the pride in u.s like the second someone landed
there wouldn't be cars driving there would be cars driving away but there'd also be an equal
amount of cars driving there to help yeah the u.s i think it like there would be it would be
traffic jams in both directions that is such an accurate
depiction of the US
if they're like Russia's going to invade
fucking Tampa
like all of Georgia will be like
we're tailgating Tampa
you know at this time
Gators fans and Bulldogs fans
alike can both get drunk
and miss professional Russians
shooting at them.
Except for one professional
Russian.
There'd be rednecks in bass boats.
There'd be some sort of navy
formed.
There's only one man in the United States
with an expertise on Russian military
strategy. Banned from owning a gun
by his own military. In this
world, they call on kyle myers
to take back tampa from the russians i'm going to need 600 watermelon
and zombie fucking Kyle Myers plays Dimitri Potapov that'd be great
except for the old
you know that's what I would do
I would have done killing
but the whole time he was from Georgia
so we'll see how it plays out
if nothing else it's kind of morbid to say this but
it's been fascinating to see like this thing play out um through the internet and everything and on
tv and stuff um true it's pretty awful to see all those dead bodies though i've been on combat
footage um looking at like you know the nitty-gritty videos and i've seen a lot of dead people yeah i is that a reddit yeah combat footage yeah i watch a lot of it's like the media and i kind of want like a fucking
apology i want the whole like they led us to believe that russia was going to invade oh my god
what do you guys fall for anything huh they they want us to think this russia's no threat russia's
defending themselves like that all right conservative media apologize suck my dick
while you're at it by the way like i i'm upset that like the propaganda networks i didn't see
that i did and i'm mad about it and oh and when russia said they pulled back turned out they
didn't like where were there you know i'm sorry we believe russia propaganda and posted it and oh and when russia said they pulled back turned out they didn't like where were their
you know i'm sorry we believe russia propaganda and posted it and acted like democrats were
i don't know chicken little shitheads for thinking that russia was going to go to war
they did we had none of that in australia like it was it was the the first reports were like
russia's russia's pulling back but it's more than likely a hoax
and that was just straight up the straight up how it was said it was like yeah they they they
saying they're pulling back but they're putting like literally nothing on trucks and taking it
back it's they're actually splitting off into smaller groups to start moving so it was pretty
much just like it's happening so tucker carlson is straight up
siding with russia you know and i'm not like inferring that he's like everyone wants you
to believe that if you side with russia and i am that you're on the wrong side and it's like
fuck okay yes it was like you're not taking him out of context the way they do wings of redemption.
There's no other context.
Like it was a point before they invaded, before they took the Donbass region where I was like,
okay, there's, there's two sides to this. And I'm watching both of the, uh, the Russian media and like the other media.
And I'm like, okay, this is why they want to do this.
This is why they don't want to, they don't want them to do this and stuff like that.
And I'm watching that and I'm like, okay i understand russia's like freaking out because nato expansion
in there and they just don't want ukraine to become another basically u.s military satellite
and so yeah they they are understandably aggressive but then the second they invited
it's just like nah like they're just bombing civilians and it's like nah fuck them you know i
did see that one clip it's like a woman and forgive me for saying this but a poorer neighborhood than
i've ever been in looking out her window and it's important to say that because a russian jet flies
over and shoots two missiles at it and it's like there's no way there was anything of strategic
value in there right
like like i don't know anything about anything but but i've played a lot of video games i know that
if you've only got two bombs in your airplane you don't drop them on the little town over here where
the woman's hiding in the apartment maybe you look for an airfield or a fuel depot or a bunch of bad
guys or at least a fucking truck and you play the objective you play the objective he's
just he's just firing some weapons on and like i'm sure anybody who's hearing this can find the
footage they literally fire some kind of i don't know weaponry but fire some kind of a missile
rocket type fucking armament out of a goddamn jet i think i saw that one and i didn't i didn't
know that i couldn't tell it was hitting i couldn't tell it was hitting the building i thought it was like barely going over the building she was in he
struck her neighborhood like he killed my neighbors i must have seen a different one
she's like it's insane and the plane's like straight over her and like hitting the like
rocketing like her neighborhood and but um i don't know i've seen a bunch of crazy shit and
the tank convoys are we could probably get off the ukraine thing it's going to be a wild week of this
and uh i'm gonna keep my eye on it because it's fascinating but um we can shift i can't stop
watching and i like all day yesterday i'm streaming and i'm just all i could do is i
couldn't concentrate on the game i'm just people are just posting like endless videos in chat i'm
just watching them i couldn't
you can't not watch it's like look at a train wreck in slow motion exactly yeah it's it's horrible but you can't look away but we should jump to something else i think yeah yeah it's
one thing the ukraine thing isn't and that's funny, unfortunately. I don't know how to make that one funny. It is not funny.
I did my best with you defending Tampa, but that's not a good thing.
But, yeah.
We can stop making so soon jokes.
Just to be clear.
Too soon as it's not happening yet.
Yeah.
The worst is yet to come.
Hopefully the worst isn't yet to come but it seems
like it has to be definitely like it just just fucking started like no matter how much people
want it to not happen it's gonna it's gonna happen is there anything fun happening in anyone's
world it's not about like you know global war and catastrophe. It's always something, right? I feel like the last few years,
it's been like lots of like historical moments
and have happened.
And it's like kind of done with that.
I'd like to like live through some more of those years
that were like people won't be studying
about what's happening to me right now.
Yeah.
Yeah, we need to get out of the important years.
Like so we can, so when we're really old,
we can look back and be like,
oh, yeah, I remember 20 and 22 and all that.
But hopefully it's not, oh, yes, the easy years.
I remember when things were good.
I remember when you could go to the supermarket to buy food.
Oh, God.
Dude.
Yeah, I remember when meat was available ah those are the days i'm becoming a little anti-union water i'm anti-union
yeah i so so here's my my the the road that i've taken over the years when i lived in new jersey
there was a heavy union presence right lots of union people doing union shit and i't like it. I feel like they were always fucking up, always defending people who
were fucking up, always charging too much, always making things bad. And I didn't see the good in
it. Then I moved to North Carolina where union presence is really, really weak. And I see what
happens when there are no unions. Without the collective bargaining power, nobody makes any money, work environments are less safe. Things suck, right? So I became a little pro union in their
absence down here. Now I'm looking at COVID shortages and I'm kind of pointing my finger
at the unions from time to time. A little bit of like, bro, like you are not working or they previously weren't working nights at the loading docks.
Come on.
Like they're not allowing automation at the loading docks.
Come on.
Like if it was a more free, like capitalistic environment, then the, you know, they would just start hiring people for the night shift.
They would start automating some tasks
to make one person as effective as two.
They would do that stuff all the time.
I'm reading that American loading docks
are not as efficient as they are around the world.
Why is that?
America leads in tech all the time,
but it's because our unions are like,
fuck it, no, you can't move.
You have to do things this way
or we all stop working.
We'll shut this shit down. And they will. And i'm like ah work with me a little bit here like i'm
trying to be pro-union for you but if you want to like fuck up the entire supply chain i can't get
on board you gotta you gotta work with us and be good at your job i get that it's like i mean
we're like probably way less efficient than the chinese but like the the
chinese citizens like unloading shit at like the port of beijing or whatever like they're probably
effectively slaves like go the other way about living tell me you wouldn't have gone the other
way not long ago and be like dude yeah american stuff of course we're the most efficient have you
seen us have you seen china this is like 20 years ago hire 130 people with shovels while we have a caterpillar do we do that same job now
these things have been flipped and you know we've got a a bunch of guys i guess carrying cargo
containers by hand maybe you made that up we have we have the strongest shipping workers.
Meanwhile, they've automated this stuff.
They're just machines unloading ships.
Let's get where they are.
Why aren't Americans the most efficient shipping?
You would think that you'd want to.
Why wouldn't America want't america want it
like you're the biggest western economy you would think that you'd want to have like machines
unloading that shit and then moving towards like a more service-based economy instead of just like
bringing production and shit stateside like it's no no country does that when they become a big
western country they just exploit no country that wants to
be able to fight wars on two fronts does well we are a service-based economy at this point aren't
we yeah like like a huge percentage of our of our like gdp is uh like financial trading and financial
institutions and stuff obviously like you need like you need nationalized like if you're gonna
fight wars you need nationalized stuff otherwise you have no production at all. But growing as an economy, I think you guys took a step back when Trump got elected and started doing a lot more shit stateside as opposed to importing a lot of stuff.
And imports got a lot more expensive.
Maybe you're right.
Maybe that is the way you go towards a service-based economy and take out manufacturing.
But I kind of liked that move from Trump.
I kind of like – well, one, I like what Kyle said.
The reason that America single-handedly won World War II was our manufacturing capabilities.
Single-handedly.
Single-handedly.
Anyone who wants to dispute you has to be on Putin's side now.
Euros triggered in the comments.
If you think the Russians won World War II,
then you're probably pro-Putin.
I said a step back with Trump,
but I didn't mean it like,
oh, no, that's backwards.
You're becoming Cro-Magnons.
It's just a shift in focus, not a bad move.
But I don't understand why that why they did it why why they would focus on that was it just because they're like we want
jobs uh in america or was it because they like we want to become more focused on production here so
we can defend ourselves like one of the things that's really popular one of the things that's
really popular especially with the right is is self-independence.
While not everybody can wrap their heads around a global petroleum economy,
everybody can wrap their heads around, like, we make oil here, we burn our oil.
And they really like stuff like that.
Everyone likes the idea of more jobs, though, because a lot of conservative voters are looking for a dock job or a mining job or
maybe especially like a mining job that because it's it's these areas of industry that are slowly
being phased out with uh green energy and trump's your guy if you're in that field if you're an oil
pipeline welder you do not want to vote vote for biden it's not in your best interest it literally
isn't like like you're gonna have more work all they care about is just getting food on the table like it's yeah you can't expect
that guy to care about anything but putting food on the table don't don't ask him to care about the
c level in 80 years yeah i mean i can care about that kind of stuff because like i i have money
and i barely work so it's like yeah well that's that's one like i i have the time to do that kind
of stuff but like for someone that's like's one like i i have the time to do that kind of
stuff but like for someone that's like working paycheck to paycheck like their only issue is
when their job is getting better and uh how they're getting paid i'm glad you said that
slush but i was watching a tv show recently called long way round and ewan mcgregor and
charlie boorman ride their motorcycles around the planet. It's pretty neat. At one point they're with these Russians and they see a bear just like
scamping through the woods.
They all jump out of the truck immediately and kill the bear.
Now I guess bears are poisonous to eat.
So they skin it,
take the pelt and sell it.
I'm going from what they told me on the TV show.
Kyle seems to know something otherwise,
but I don't know.
I know.
I don't know where that came from
then, but all they did is take the, they said it was usually poisoned.
I don't know what to tell you, but they took the bear's skin and
left the rest of the bear behind and something else, the, I don't know, like the
gallbladder or something. No, it was like, it was a gallbladder.
It looked like giant testicles, but it wasn't cool and they said that the fluid inside that was believed to have had
good properties the people who killed the bear didn't give a fuck if it was true they just knew
they could sell it and um uh well here's what i was getting to ewan mcgregor is like i don't like
this i don't like that they killed a living being. I don't think it is not
correct for these guys to just murder bears like that. And Charlie Borman, who I lined up with,
was like, they don't see it as a bear. They see it as four new tires to keep their truck rolling.
They see it as $600 that feeds their family for a month. They see it as this. And it's like,
yeah, Ewan, easy for you who makes i presume 20 million a movie
to say these guys shouldn't shoot a bear for 600 when otherwise they can't get tires for their car
like that yeah they saw 600 running through the woods and they all jumped out like it was the
most important thing happening right now and i get that that's what happens when you're a broke
well that's like uh i've said, talked to my mates about this before.
And, like, when we had the, like, voting against, like, gay rights in Australia and stuff like that, there's a lot of people that was essentially the left and right voting against each other.
And it was like the left is going to vote in gay rights.
And they made it a political issue.
And I was just sitting there watching it.
And I'm like, it's not going to sway the right because they don't care.
They don't have the luxury of caring about other people's rights
when they're just being fucked on the daily.
All they care about is themselves
because their lives are getting fucking...
They don't have jobs.
They don't have food.
They don't have time to sit down and be like,
I wonder how my gay friend feels or something like that
because they're not like... Caring about other people's rights as a luxury of the rich so the
right in your country is kind of the poverty side no not not poverty but they they're like
i will vote for the jobs that are because those people will be like yeah we're gonna get you jobs
and the other side will be like we're more for like pro-human rights and and things like that and that's how they they focus it but it doesn't like you're
not going to sway voters over from the right to the left by doing that because that's not their
voting it's not their single issue that they vote on the single issue they vote on is jobs
are there any australians yeah is there any uh australian uh intervention in Australian intervention in this nonsense that's going on?
Oh, yeah.
We had our Prime Minister stand up and go,
Ooh, we strongly condemn Russia.
Pretty much just, yeah, open your pocket, Biden.
Can we jump in?
That's pretty much it.
The usual.
That's fair.
That's fair.
Yeah.
Nothing exciting.
I mean, no one gives a fuck what we do
with tony and just gives a fuck woody you went and uh watched tenet right i have not taylor did
shit i i watched it yeah i was not as uh as blown away really you can talk about it yeah
then when i watch it okay i'll watch it with someone else
and pretend that i get it is this oh we're not gonna try to explain it here yeah movie uh with
uh um there's a washington song have you seen it slush i have seen it yeah yep okay didn't really
think that much of it yeah i i it kept i liked it a lot i i it kept my attention i enjoyed the the like backwards
action scenes were kind of neat uh the way they tried to explain the reverse entropy thing
was less helpful than had they never addressed it at all like it just it wasn't a good explanation
at all and i was looking i can't be the only moron on the
there must be listeners well we watched we watched the movie okay so yeah it basically means like
it's something that doesn't make any sense whatsoever that like they're like the people
in the future are reversing the the entropy on bullets and and trinkets and such look we found
one here hold your hand over it and imagine that you've dropped
the bullet. And then the bullet
goes up into his hand as though he had dropped
it. And it's like, well, that doesn't make sense.
Is that what entropy is? Dropping
things?
I didn't think that. No.
So I think you misunderstood that part. And also
they were wrong about the people in the future sending stuff
back. They figured that out halfway through the movie.
Yeah, I was just talking about the explanation yeah
but i don't want to talk about it now since you didn't like it and plus it's way too no no i want
to no i didn't i liked it i just didn't think it was amazing like there was there was lots of
people that were like oh it's like groundbreaking and stuff and i watched it and i was just like
this is i think this is trying to be really smart and then they're just like over explaining this
thing or it's just like i could walk backwards three times and that would be easier so it is
really smart first of all but but where they fail is in some of the execution and god damn it he
can't figure out audio mixing for some reason and you could tell that fucking retard when it comes
to that shit and you can at times it was borderline unwatchable just turn the captions on and so
that's all chris nolan movies though from batman interstellar but uh we just they were noise
like like the the plot though and the time the plot and the time travel and how everyone
fit together clearly even got more complicated than chris nolan wanted it to be because it's
so obvious that he's trying to suggest that the little boy,
that little blonde-haired boy,
is Robert Pattinson.
Yeah.
Except, like,
I didn't even care.
My questioning wasn't about the time travel shit.
I was like, okay, anytime I watch a time travel movie
and something is a bit confusing,
that's part and parcel of a time travel movie.
It doesn't make sense because it's not meant to make sense
because we live in a temporal world.
Like we can't fathom it really.
The thing that turned me off about it was like,
you don't need to go into the time travel shit
to find all the nonsense.
Like it's just interpersonal dialogue.
Like the MacGuffin in this movie is,
if the protagonists were honest with each other,
this movie would be 45 minutes long
because the whole thing is built on the back
of these individuals,
Robert Pattinson and Denzel Washington's son,
I forget his name,
not being honest with each other.
And then the third lady not being 100% honest
and not being transparency there.
And it gets to the point way past in any other movie.
Like you watch a war movie and it's like two point way past in any other movie like you watch
a war movie and it's like two guys who kind of butt heads and in boot camp and then you know
they butt heads on the you know episode three but by episode seven they're fast friends and they've
got each other's back and they're telling secrets to each other in this it is i swear to god half
an hour before the end of this three-hour epic and the the guy's like, can you please give me information
pertinent to this mission?
I know you know something.
And Robert Pattinson's coyly like,
oh, don't you wish I would tell you, don't you?
Yeah?
It's like, no.
Because he can't tell him.
That part was fucking...
Yes, he can!
Yes, he can.
Because he's following the order.
If I'm working with a past version of myself
to try and orchestrate a military organization,
you know what I want is communication with myself because I know how i think i don't want to keep myself in the dark
for my future self's plans it makes no sense there it doesn't make any sense so people act
like it's the time travel shit that's confusing it's the bad structure and the macguffin of the
i gotta keep secrets so that's all necessary and that's a core that's a like a tentpole of the
whole movie is why you have to keep those secrets. And one of the bigger twists is that he's been
keeping secrets from himself the whole movie, right? That he's on this time loop where he's
intersecting himself. He's had to keep those secrets.
Why? Which part why? Why did he have to keep secrets?
You just entered into the because and I should have not.
So the deal is you begin at the end of the
movie and you end at the beginning of the movie um for one character so these two characters who
are friends robert pattinson and um the washington the black guy the washington character when when
they meet each other for the the first time is different for each of them because one of them
is moving backwards through time and one of them is moving backwards through time
and one of them is moving forwards through time.
Robert Pattinson dies at the end of this movie
and it's the end of
their relationship together,
but it's really just the beginning
of the relationship from the black guy's point of view.
They've really just met this week.
But for Robert Pattinson,
we grew up together.
We got some crazy stuff.
But if he informs himself about the way things are going to happen,
they might not happen that way exactly.
Or he may do something that gets himself killed.
Like if he was already going to walk through an airport and not get shot,
telling him that he's going to walk through an airport and not get shot
might make him careless now.
And he'll actually get shot because he's like, yeah, I don't't get shot here the reason he didn't get shot before is because he was wary
maybe you know i don't think i don't think that that cuts it it doesn't really the fact that he's
there to give the instructions means that any way he would give them would result in the same thing
right because he's there giving the instruction and i would need a diagram to know about which specific things
you're talking about. The movie's two and a half hours long.
I'm talking about Washington.
It just, it doesn't
make sense to me that their military time travel
organization, or operation,
is more successful with
people not sharing information between
each other, not being honest, and like
having to decipher a mystery
the whole time. This is the a mystery the whole time from his point of view it just started from his point of view but there's still a future in which
it has been laid out and the version of it's too convoluted convoluted to argue my friend
there's a every step of it has a grandfather that's what that's why i thought like every
step of the grandfather paradox where it's like, you know, if you go back and kill
your grandfather, do you even exist?
No. Well, then now you can't go back and kill him.
Well, what happens now? Every inch of this
is smothered with those, like, onions.
So it's... I thought it was worse
than Inception.
Because it was like...
Unnecessarily complicated.
Yeah, I think Inception was
better. Sorry.
You said unnecessarily complicated. Maybe you I think Inception was better. SuchPuppies said
unnecessarily complicated. Maybe you guys
want to expand on that.
I got it.
It felt like they were just trying to make the time travel the most
confusing fucking shit in the world, which it
is. Time travel paradoxes
and shit like that is confusing.
But it got to the point where it was just like, how many
fucking layers deep away now?
What the fuck is happening? so here's my biggest complaint and if you think about this if you remember back you're gonna be
like yeah all right remember the big assault at the end where you got red team and blue team
who the fuck were they fighting can you even remember where you saw an enemy in that woody
there is a battle scene with two groups of of like badass motherfuckers landing via helicopter, moving in different speed, moving through time at different directions.
It's incredibly ridiculous with explosions, buildings blowing up, machine gun fire, bombings, aircraft, everything.
And our main characters are right in the thick of it doing shit.
It was a cool set.
You never see the enemy. Yeah, there's no no bad guys you see the enemy in one shot there is like an an
emplacement like sandbags with like an anti-aircraft gun one of these in it and you see some like
white-ish helmets like maybe three guys in there and then the whole thing flows into a cloud it
goes boom those guys are definitely dead because our heroes run over them and can keep going. You never see
any more bad guys. Maybe a glimpse.
I don't know if they're white. I don't know if they're black.
I don't know if they're Middle Eastern.
I don't know if they're ninja masks.
I don't know.
You had my attention. I'm curious.
It's fun to watch.
The part that I enjoyed the most,
I enjoyed the movie. It's fantastic to
just look at. It's one of those but afterwards i really did enjoy watching like youtubers explain
every inch of it to me and it's one of those things where like now i know it exactly for
twin for 10 minutes anybody want to know how this works i'm losing it oh it was five minutes
it was five that's what confuses me just the most i just didn't understand who they were fighting it
was just like the fuck are they fighting for and. I just didn't understand who they were fighting. It was just like, the fuck are they fighting for and against?
I don't know who they were fighting.
I don't know who the enemy was there.
And the future bad guys putting all of their eggs
in the one basket of an insane megalomaniacal Russian guy
with pancreatic cancer, that doesn't make any sense.
They would have clearly diversified to ensure
that they would get their desired result and there wasn't just some madman who was going to blow up
the world and take everyone with it on his whim you know instead of by the plan of but they're
from the future wanted but but but don't they know that it will work if they do that like like
once that's what i thought like like i but then i thought the same thing for washington
to his prior self you know the i mean the only reason everything failed is because uh at the end
are the the bad guys like you know what shoot him before you fix the whole plan and and igor is over
there like are you sure because i just got to push this in shoot him in the head damn it igor
by the way i'm talking to igor over radio he's in the ocean somewhere at vietnam
igor is in ukraine under the ground
radio he's on the same way and there's also there's also like this understanding
like and then i had trouble believing another thing is like i thought up until the end that
like the the megalomaniacal russian guy was
keeping it a secret from his team about his goals of i'm going to gather these nine implements and
i will destroy the entire planet and everyone on it by engaging in reverse entropy and i thought
like man all his henchmen have no idea and then in one scene, all his henchmen around, he's like, I cannot wait to kill world
and everyone in.
He's standing behind him like,
his henchmen standing behind him like, yup,
yeah, that's what we're on. We're on team.
We're on team. I never want to get
laid ever again. I don't want to ever
have a nice steak dinner. Because they were on
board with apparently being vaporized with the rest
of humanity, and it's a bunch of young Russian
soldiers. No one is going to be on the team of humanity and it's a bunch of like young Russian soldiers no one
is going to be on the team of
if you succeed you die
it's like Taylor you're about to
die and Taylor's like so wait I don't
get laid anymore
I've eaten my last snack
I didn't even realize
when I was enjoying it that it was my last snack
he pulls out some Jesus from his pockets
the guy with the Luger
about to execute me walks over and
puts a Slim Jim in my mouth
before he kills me
that part of the movie was really fucking stupid
it's not even spicy.
You just be like, hold on a second, just let me hit this crack pipe.
And now I'm ready.
I feel really good now.
I wonder if crack is that good.
How good does crack make you feel?
It's gotta be. People ruin their lives.
Can we get a crack head as a guest?
That would be amazing.
I did get one.
I was teasing. I was like, slashash Talos. What? I was teasing.
I was like, Slash Talos.
I have taken
a lot of drugs.
Short of intravenous drugs.
I've never taken intravenous drugs,
but I have taken...
This is in a legal environment, obviously, in international
waters, but I have taken...
International waters? Yeah, yeah. DM environment, obviously, in international waters, but I have taken... International waters?
Yeah, yeah.
CMT, acid, ecstasy, fucking mushrooms, smoked weed,
done speed, cocaine, and a variety of other different types of ecstasy.
Like those designer drugs?
We've had had stuff like that
sorry speed is similar on speed is similar to crack cocaine but apparently it's not
like it's addictive which one is the best time um probably acid acid depends really fun
and it depends what you're doing wait wait gets boring
after a little while and then it's just sort of humdrum and okay can i jump in on weed i i
have nearly finished a vape pen and i've had some delta eight gummies that's like my experience
i find weed is a little overblown like there are people who just maybe it's not as good for me as
other people but it's subtle to even being high is like all right i'm definitely high i feel like i have to hold the handrail more
carefully going down the stairs like i'm high i'm high but i don't get why people want to be high
all the time it's almost just a sleep aid to me yeah i'm not getting the fun about it
i like getting hard to watch a movie.
That's good. And it depends how
high you're getting.
Someone like Kyle, he enjoys
getting so blitzed he can hardly remember his
name. I hate that.
That's unpleasant. I don't want that.
I want more than I'm just
tired. I got a nice buzz from it, but that's
about where I want to be with weed.
I don't want to get that motor delay feeling feeling that's very uncomfortable i don't like that but yeah i know
i know i have so many friends in college because everybody was smoking a shit ton of weed in
college as people tend to do and they would like every single time like like hey josh you want to
smoke he's like no dude hell no that shit is evil for me like it gives me like he would smoke sometimes
and just get full-on panic attacks like feeling like like the sky was falling like that started
happening to me like his like his parents were gonna die while he was high or oh i can't even
i'm too high to even drive if my brother in indiana needed help and it's like what the
fuck are you talking about like i'd always smoke so much that i'd be like so high that i couldn't understand what was going on and then i'd be freaking out
thinking that i was having a fucking aneurysm because i'm like oh i'm so high that i can't
understand what's happening which means my brain is shutting down and then i'd have a panic attack
but that only happened after like smoking for years and years and smoking way way too much
but it was probably to do with other drug use lowering my serotonin like taking
a lot of uh taking a lot of speed and uh ecstasy at the time when i was in my early 20s is there
a word for that like a term for it when you mix speed and ecstasy uh no it was usually just
whatever we could get i don't know because like i asked because you just get like that you know
the term is that what candy flipping is?
No, candy flipping is
acid into ecstasy.
Oh, okay.
I was hoping there was some phrase for it like that.
Some term for it like that.
It's always entertaining.
We've got a lot of D-gens
in the $50 hangouts.
Yeah, he was candy flipping.
Went crazy. Never came back. And I'm like, what the fuck are y'all even
talking about?
I've seen some pretty good ones on acid though.
We took a whole bunch with
a few of our mates once and one of my
friends was having a freak out
and he's like up on the
kitchen table just buck-ass
naked with
this like turgid erection
and he was freaking out because he's like
my cock won't go
not hard and he was freaking out
that his cock was like
going to kill him because it had been hard for so long
and he's like wielding a kitchen knife
like threatening to cut his own cock
off
from acid? This sounds horrible
we took a lot but like we're all how much
um like fucking four tabs each yeah i took that much i took that much and i sat in a chair and
watched fantasia and giggled he he just freaked out it was it was yeah he's just up there weirding
threatening to cut his own cock off like it was he just had a really bad trip but
that's every trip
I don't want
a crazy person with a knife
they calmed down eventually
I had a roommate
I would never do drugs with that guy ever again
I had a roommate that went crazy one night
with a knife but he was just like I think
he was just trying to scare me because he had like
the crazy eyes but he chased me around the parking lot with a butcher knife jesus what yeah was he
quick or i guess not see the thing was he wasn't trying to catch that's why i think he was just
trying to scare me because he never caught he could have stabbed me to death if he never wanted
to but he was just trying to fuck with me i never could figure out why he was he never did that
again like he just got really drunk and like i couldn't tell if he was just messing with me or if he had actually like
gotten a little weird that night because he just like got out a knife and like kept like
chasing me around with it until i was outside running around a car
jesus that's scary yeah i just remembered that how did how did it end did did he just like lose
interest drunkenly and like finally the other roommate got home, and
I convinced him to get up some
other hijinks, and I think there was like a...
We went and did some petty vandalism or
something. Keep in mind, I'm 19,
and they're like 25.
It's okay for me to be
there stealing a fire extinguisher in spring
and in a parking lot. They had no excuse.
We all had jobs in the morning.
Yeah.
That's what I was like when I was 25.
Did you like that a little bit?
No.
You'd get high on your candy flipping and then go
fuck with the public parks?
I was terrible up until I
sort of moved in with my wife.
My
girlfriend at the time became my wife.
I was terrible. I i just get high every night
and just fuck around and do dumb shit like that he spends a lot of time in international waters
yeah yeah exactly yeah exactly yeah that's that's i'm stealing that that is the best
way to tell drug stories so one time i was on in international water dmt is definitely the the most intense experience but it's it's
very short it's like you smoke as much as you can and then you just go to space and then you come
back like 15 minutes later that's like if you if it's visuals you're after that shit is just
fucking that's what everyone says did you use a vape? Or did you smoke it out of an oil?
Yeah, I smoked it out of an oil bong thing
that my mate had.
He was like, yeah, do this.
This is insane.
And I'm like, how do I do it?
And he's like, just smoke three as quickly as you can.
And I'm like, all right, let's go to hell, apparently.
But it was intense.
I couldn't see aliens.
You saw them?
Did you see them?
It's because the guys like, yeah, people see like aliens and like these like fucking
overlord things.
And like Joe Rogan talks about this shit where he's like, oh, I see, I saw God and I talked
to God and stuff like that.
But I think if you're going into it and then you're like, this shit makes you see God,
then that's in the back of your mind.
And then when you're in there, it's like, you're going to see it then you're like this shit makes you see god and that's in the back of your mind and then when you're in there it's like you're gonna see it because you were just talking
about it so it's like yeah it's but it's more like just hands coming at you and fucking just
crazy shit i wouldn't like hands coming at me i want to i want to see you remember um
like in like the late 90s what screensavers used to be on yeah yeah i want that see, you remember like in like the late 90s, what screensavers used to be?
Yeah. I want that.
Okay? For you kids out there.
Which one? That's more like
the tubes, right? The tubes?
The tubes or the fish?
I want the tubes and the fireworks.
I want both at the same time.
Those were my two favorites. I just remember I'd go in the library
and this is literally like 1994,
1993, somewhere in there. And you know, they had the computers to check out books and shit already
we were ahead of ourselves and i just remember like staring at those you know like to a seven
year old that was the coolest thing ever because i don't think we got a computer thank you
all right well done hot load like that. I love the tubes.
There are times when we've said, I mean, like.
You can't imagine how that feels the first time you see that when you've never seen technology like that before.
It comes at you.
It was coming at you.
It was as 3D as you could imagine.
And it was on those old, like, you know, CRTV things.
The thing had less power than my phone, I guarantee.
Like, maybe a hundredth of what my phone phone has now it's crazy to think about the times that we would we'd take mushrooms like our friends would pick
mushrooms we'd dry them out and then grind them up and put them into little capsules and we'd go
out to the bar and we just like eat a shitload of these and then come back and then just sit there
and watch visual shit like that on youtube like we just have the tv in the lounge room all of us would just be high off our ass of mushrooms just watching what essentially was a
fucking screenshot so if you just have the best fucking time ever if you search um if you search
like psychedelic video stuff on like youtube you get some great stuff we watch this uh if they have
like music accompaniment uh like like dirty and i were like staring at this thing where it's like the visual is very similar to a very fast boat making that the ripples it makes across a lake
you know how and it's just this this this the the front point of that boat is just never ending
splitting the water around it and making that ripple behind and it's like zooming into that
infinitely like getting closer and closer to the point of that boat yeah but it doesn't matter how much you zoom it's all you're always looking at the same thing it's like it's
like a fractal it's a fractal animation so no matter how much you zoom spin or do whatever
there's more of it and the music is going and it was almost like a like a bass drop like like when
you really like escalate the visuals and i just remember dirty being like yeah when like the bass drop he's like yeah yeah that's it that's it right there
like i don't know what he was seeing but it the visuals and stuff like that are just crazy
if you take enough though you can just stare at the wall and that happens like oh yeah
i do remember once we uh we
took a heap of mushrooms and being in this uh this nightclub thing and pissing into the toilet
and i was i was watching my piss going into the toilet but the toilet bowl was like going like
like making an emotion like that and i was just like that toilet is like sentient and drinking
the piss out of my cock it is like chugging it i'm just standing
there just going drink it up big boy yeah chug it mother fucker
like did he just say drink it up big boy yeah yeah yeah that one was fucking weird yeah did
you have any really just uh horrible experiences with psychedelics all the ones you've said so far
seem like there are a lot of no i've never had a bad one no except for my friends sort of losing
his shit but that was like he calmed down eventually it didn't go on for that long of
course when you're an acid it feels like because i'm for 10 years but i think i think if you're
mentally weak you have bad experiences maybe that's a stupid maybe that's an ignorant thing
for me to say but like like, I think like underlying,
like if you were stressed out,
how does mental strength help your ass experience?
You feel like you're,
I think you can guide yourself away from any time.
Something starts seeming a little odd.
You can,
you can still get ahold of yourself and being,
and be like,
Hey,
I'm here taking this silly stuff.
That's making me see silly things.
I need to get into a better mood and think happy thoughts or I'm going to see nasty stuff or think about.
I think if you're like logical about it, like if you're in there and you're like, it's just chemicals in my brain.
Nothing's happening.
Like, I'm just chilling.
And I'm always able to do that on anything, especially like alcohol.
Like, I've been in the bathroom of a restaurant vomiting and been and and i'm and just wasted barely coherent and
i'm thinking to myself or even saying to myself i like well you did it again everybody's here for
you you're throwing up the chilies you're not gonna get laid you're not even gonna be able to
jerk off tonight you're so fucked are you happy
because like so many times like people would just buy me too many drinks and then i get i
wouldn't be able to say no because it's it's free and i was mental strength part
where we started from like i feel the same way like i often i feel like i do that better than
the other people in my life you know who just get overwhelmed and pressured and whatever.
And I'm like,
all right,
let's compartmentalize this into the things I can control and the things I
can't,
the things I can't put those aside and stop worrying the things I can
control.
What actions am I taking?
Whether it works or not,
if I'm doing the right shit,
stop sweating it.
What else are you going to do?
Yeah.
And some of my
friends i have very little experience with the psychedelic side of things but like the way my
friends who are more into it explained it is they say it's more about mindset going in like if you
just lost your job or if your dog died the day before they would be like no don't don't go in
if you have like stressors and fears and stuff that are kind of forefront that you're that you're thinking about go into it when you
are in a good mood and like it's going to augment whatever you're feeling when you do it and so if
you're in a horrible depressed place and you do it it's gonna it's gonna turn out badly for you
maybe that's you know i'm sure that's not a hard and fast rule, but that's what they said to me. I just lost the majority. I don't feel any of that.
I'm 100% still me.
I'm this me.
I'm just more easily entertained, and I'm seeing some wacky stuff.
That's the extent of it.
So whenever I would see other people being like, ooh, I'm like, sit up fucking straight.
What's your problem?
What are you doing get up why are you
swimming in the carpet the only stuff that ever did that to me was dmt but the rest of the shit
it's like like any of the like ecstasy and uh like speed it's just like it just makes you more
talkative and more sort of energetic like lsd like colors are a little bit brighter and stuff like unless you
take fucking heaps of it but it's then even then it's just sort of visuals but they're not like
it's like the mushroom men are coming it's like it's more like you look at the wall and the wall's
moving and it's bright colors like it's yeah yeah what you what's what's already there for you is
being altered there nothing new is being created though yeah but if you notice i had a hard time
walking i had a hard time walking i had a hard
time walking downstairs uh my knee i was like we were all like weak at the knees for some reason
going downstairs um i inexplicably i don't know was it a perception thing like you know like our
knees were knocking like like like like at the knee it was it was like fluttering like like going
downstairs every time we would put i would put weight on it yeah it was weird i can't explain that yeah i don't know yeah that is bizarre
i had when you're saying speed slush yeah you mean uh cocaine right no i know more like uh
it depends like different kinds of speed like speed sulfate like an amphetamine like amphetamines
like like uh fucking crystal meth and shit like that they just it all gets called speed it's
all the same shit it's just an amphetamine essentially that's and you really enjoyed
those back in the day that was your go-to do that i used to but it was like uh speed was probably
the one that i took the most but it sort of just got old after a while it was like yeah i'm sitting
around just taking speed with my mates having the same conversations this is getting kind of boring it's like yeah that's
enough did you guys come up with uh because i know from being around people doing lots of cocaine
that like they always like come up with business ideas that don't make a lot of sense and they like
want to get you in on the ground floor with some fucking retardation nonsense like did would they do that on speed too because like oh yeah i can like explicitly
picture it at this halloween party from like five years ago seeing two of my close friends
just gacked out of their mind like talking like over the appetizers being like this isn't a bluff
bro we're doing this we're doing that i don't know what they were talking about
dude i'm gonna text you with the fucking i'm gonna fucking were talking about but i know we're doing this dude i'm gonna
text you with the fucking i'm gonna fucking text you in the morning and we're gonna do this we're
gonna set it up i got a guy i got a guy at retail he can set up for and that was like there's no way
that i know both of them that didn't get going speed is like speeds like that so it's pretty
much like cocaine except uh it lasts for way longer and it's not as strong so like if you if you do like one line in the last like a
few hours like it's like uh cocaine is just like bang and then 40 minutes later you're like fuck
that was moreish time for more it's like that's it's a yeah that's what they that's what they
call the rich the rich man's drug because you just end up taking so much when i've uh
when i've tried cocaine in international waters,
I disliked it.
It just stressed me out.
Could it have been because it was a bumpy boat?
It could have been that it was a bumpy boat.
Hard to do a line because of the tables.
I just remember sitting up afterward.
I remember just being like,
huh, well, that tastes terrible.
The nasal drip tastes awful.
That could be because I've had a lot of sinus surgeries.
Maybe it was more present for me.
I don't know.
But it was chemically, and it was gross, and it lasts for a long time.
And so you're like, I can't even have a drink of soda to get rid of this.
I just feel jittery and antsy.
Did the nasal drip last a long time, or the effect of cocaine lasted a long time?
The effect did not last that long,
but the,
and I'm going to say a long time,
like the nasal drip,
like in the back of my throat,
it was probably like 15 minutes.
Like since I did it that like,
I could tell it was there.
And I'm sure that was also because I was like,
and so I was like,
I was also like obsessing about it.
Like,
can I feel it?
I bet I can't feel it.
Oh,
if I,
if I'm even thinking about it,
it's probably there. Like I, I fucking really dislike that. I like downers? I bet I can feel it. If I'm even thinking about it, it's probably there.
I fucking really dislike that. I like downers.
I don't want to be amped up like that.
I would always wake up with
really dry in the back of the top
of your mouth where it's
nasally and stuff like that, but it
depends how much you do.
You feel like shit.
Your nose essentially just feels
like you've been picking your nose all night like it's a bit raw if you do like
fucking heaps of it but it's
yeah I've never done heaps
are mushrooms uppers or downers
am I too quiet?
they're hallucinogenics
they're like acid mushrooms
and like ecstasy
they're hallucinogenics
that's why you can mix an upper or downer with one of your hallucinogens and like you got a whole other category there yeah hallucinogenics that's why you could
you can mix an upper or downer with one of your hallucinogens and then you can that's that's when
things can get a little scary right so if you add if you were to take adderall and lsd you might go
on some frantic scary journey where you're seeing like lightning bolts and you don't like that at
all but uh but you know if you just smoked a lot of weed, you might just really enjoy Fantasia.
I would
fall asleep.
Weed is a waste of money for me
because it just is a sleeping...
Well, unless you need a sleeping drug.
I barely experience being high because...
I don't understand that. I'm so stoned
right now.
I can go pop one and show you.
I am asleep. What what you want to do would you like to see me asleep for the last two hours of the show what do you call this when you add
when you mix bang energy drink with with gas station thco like if this is like this is like
white trash flipping or something like that i don't i don't know what dude the bang is the
more dangerous thing you're holding. Those things are panic
attacks. I'm sipping. I'm sipping.
It's so fucking awful. It's got something called
super creatine in it and EAA
aminos.
You know who would come down hard on that
super creatine claim? Derek.
Because there is not an efficacious dose
and apparently super creatine
is a proprietary name that they
have obviously trademarked and it's not even a bioavailable form of creatine is a proprietary name that they have, uh,
you know,
obviously trademarked and it's not even a bioavailable form of creatine.
Apparently it's literally called quote unquote,
super creatine.
They don't even tell you how much there is.
Yeah.
It's because it's not bio.
It's just like a,
it's a marketing thing.
Super creatine.
Bang.
Yeah.
Why is there no infectious dose of super creatine because it's not viable
yeah i was reading an article about it because i bought some bangs offline like a year and a
half ago because i was like oh this will be good i should have checked how much caffeine was in
it's like a pre-workout because i thought it had like a five gram amount of of uh of creatine and
then i looked into it on youtube and it was one of like the reputable
fitness guys.
I believe like the ones I trust that.
And they were like,
yeah,
this is,
don't be,
don't be bamboozled.
This is not creatine monohydrate that you're looking for.
It's something totally different.
You're if you're,
if you use bang,
that's great for the caffeine,
but don't think you're getting your creatine scoop,
your creatine.
And all seriousness,
if anybody's out there like into fitness and stuff,
creatine is like the most researched and proven like thing out there that
actually works. It's like one of three things
actually do it's something about making the muscle fibers more effective at like grabbing
onto each other it's making the velcro more sticky or something as i was explained to me once but
irrelevant it makes you lift a little bit more in the end and uh so like muscle recovery it helps
with muscle hydration too it's it's the cheapest thing you can imagine it when you buy it buy it off of amazon get a tub that's nothing but creatine
it should be nothing but creatine that's the only ingredient and five grams is like the size of it's
about a bottle cap full like it's like a bottle cap full that's what the scoop looks like um and
you mix that with water and you drink it you don't need like i'm not drinking this to get creatine i
just wanted some caffeine and i got this awful and it's cheap as shit
yeah so like don't don't get fooled by like micronized ultra creatine just creatine monohydrate
that that guy um you don't need to load it either is it jeff jeff nippard nippard whatever his name
is nipple yeah yeah he's he was doing really good talking about creatine and like that that was that was the advice he gave and based on his physique i trust his resume yeah right isn't
that interesting how like once somebody's once somebody's in just a little bit of shape you'll
believe anything they have to say about i i only trust old people that are in shape because like
when i was 18 all i ate was just like gas station fried food and like red bulls and smoke cigarettes
and i was like
in shape like no one no one trusts a 19 year old in shape because that's like fucking easy
but I'm glad you said that yeah yeah you know my favorite example of that is
Princess Leia Leia Leia Leia right Princess Leia was super hot and this is her quote at a time when
a lot of people are super hot in their lives then she got older when
she was like i think she said this after menopause and she's like yeah it was nice i liked it but it
comes and goes and i saw that and i'm like yeah yeah princess leia was super hot i don't know how
she was 23 or something cool i'm not impressed until you're super hot over 30 yeah princess
leia gave up though like everybody can be super hot. It's giving up.
It's giving up.
I'm giving up.
Great.
Slush gave up
a long time ago.
I'm actually going to the gym.
I'm going to the gym today.
My wife, she's
signed me up to the gym, and we're going to the gym together.
Apparently, I'm getting fit.
Do you have a plan? Do you have a workout plan
and everything in place? Oh, fuck no. I'm just going to
go there and lift shit. That's what you want to do.
You want to go in blind. No idea about form.
What you want to do is you want
to bounce around. A little bit of pull.
A little bit of push. A little bit of legs.
One set of everything. One word.
Torque.
The whole time.
You should be twisting in two different directions
at all times.
If your lower back isn't burning, you're not working.
I can tell a guy's an expert
if he's using the gym machines in a way
that nobody else is.
If that guy has made up his own gym machine movements,
hang up.
He's got the barbell, and he's like darth maul he's just
go to that lat machine hang by your knees and and do something cool i like to see the guys that are
like lifting a uh like a car axle with set concrete on it like that's that's a that's the real
professional like some fucking uh some hillbilly that's got like a wooden fucking bench press and
he's just got like big concrete weights on it that's that's what a wooden fucking bench press and he's just got big concrete
weights on it. That's what I want to say.
Oh, and if you want to see a guy...
Oh, go ahead.
Princess Leia was a ton of cocaine back then.
That was her main thing.
Her slender.
That's what I used to call my diet
back then. I used to call it the bong slim diet
because it was like, what do you eat?
It's like, I can't afford to eat. I buy too much weed.
You can't afford to eat i buy too much weed you just get high and sit there hungry that sounds horrible hey eventually you fall asleep yeah but higher because you're on an empty stomach that that's when you get when you get
the munchies just smoke more if you if you get the munchies and there's food in the fridge just
smoke until you can't stand up oh god are you good yeah i keep like sweet last do you remember like uh exactly bongs
you were talking about uh wanting to find someone like using the equipment all weird and everything
there's a guy on youtube named eric bougenhagen who has a fitness channel very funny guy very
jacked huge guy he like his videos like 40 seconds long and it's the title will be like
absolute monster of a beast benches,
five 50 decline or it'll be like a ultra God dominates wife in race.
And it's like him pushing his wife down and running ahead. And like,
he'll like, he, he has the worst,
like imagine the opposite of Juju's gym.
Yeah.
Like it is.
It's it's dirty.
It's dingy.
It's in a two car garage in Florida.
It's the cheapest power rack.
He's using plates from 100 years ago.
And like so much of his equipment, he's like, you're like training today.
Some people do benches.
Some people do squats.
Some people do deadlifts.
Today I'm filling a dummy with concrete powder.
It weighs 96 pounds.
I'm running it out in the rain.
100 laps around the cul-de-sac.
Go.
And he's just running around his cul-de-sac like there's neighbors walking their dog.
And he's like a 6'5", like WWE-looking guy.
So he's like, ah, like lunging with like 100 pounds on his back around his cul-de-sac as
his wife is filming. And he, and he's yelling like, are you getting this?
Are you getting this? And she's like, she's like, yes, honey.
I don't think you're getting it. I don't think you're getting it.
Come around to the front. Come around to the fucking front and get my pecs.
Get my pecs.
I love this guy. What's his name?
Eric, his name's Eric Bugenhagen. is eric boogenhagen he's the
guy who has that montage to i need a hero yeah the music's like i need a hero and he's it's just
him cranking out multiple insane lifts one after another set to that like a montage of him and
there he's doing lifts you've never even he's like bulgarian split scott squats with 575 pounds and it's just
like wait what like it's like behind the back dead lifting squat plate rack two million everything
is oh yeah he does stuff like that pounds like verging on a thousand and then it's always behind
the back or over the head or one-handed or like in in the sand. If there's a way to make things
hard and dangerous, he just does it that way.
And then he cranks out 600 pounds.
That's fucked.
I used to work with a guy
who had the weirdest
workout. He was
pretty jacked. He wasn't
the fittest guy in the universe, but he was
45, and he was
probably just as fit as Woody. And I asked him one day, he was like 45 and he was he was probably just as as fit
as woody and i i asked him one day i was like what do you do for fitness and he's like i go out in
the backyard and he has a tractor tire and he just hits it with a sledgehammer for like an hour
that would injure me that's all he does that's naked about me like when i work out i have this
imaginary sniper in the corner
just looking for me to make a bad decision.
He's the injury sniper.
It's this conceptual idea that he's always waiting for me.
Like, dude, you want to max out?
I'm here.
Let's see.
I'm about to fucking fire something at your chest.
I will cripple you, old man.
Yeah.
Yeah.
The injury sniper.
Like, oh, I bet you would like to have four plates on that
bench yeah that's always just like you just you're just going for it you're like oh here
comes the record and then and you're like oh and by four plates i mean two on each side to be clear
i'm not mentioned no four plates on each side no don't specify let people believe
it should be called four it should it should why do they call it two plates No, don't specify. Let people believe. Dude, if there's two on one side,
it should be called four.
It should. It should. Why do they call it two plates?
It's not right.
It's because it's gatekeeping from the super jacked guys to try and make the rest
of us feel bad. Because like when
Bugenhagen is doing a deadlift,
he does a Jefferson deadlift in one of those
where you put it between your legs,
like one leg forward, one leg back, arm between them.
And he did 970 pounds on that and it was like that way i i don't i he must unless he's
unless he's jesus like the amount of weight that is insane i would be terrified for my knees my
back but he's clearly 960 pounds yeah he can live 960 pounds doing that. He's a monster.
What's the record for a normal deadlift?
Well, normal deadlift is harder
than that.
But normal deadlift is harder.
I saw
that dude breaking that record a while back.
I'll tell you one thing I hate is when their noses
start bleeding when they're doing those lifts.
I was at the gym.
And look, I'm going hard as fuck in there. I'm hurting.
I'm tired and playing the strong man.
I'm like, ah, this is great motivation. Look at this
fucking rock of a man lift some heavy
shit. And I'm watching the guy
while I'm doing my laps or whatever.
And his nose starts bleeding. And I
left. I was like,
you know what? I'm not going to
go anymore. That turned me off.
Is it any hall we're talking about?
I think it was.
It was whoever it was.
There was blood gushing down their nose, mouth area as they cranked out.
Looks like an 1100 pound deadlift.
Or that other guy.
Yeah.
Eddie Hall, when doing his deadlift, his nose just starts.
Oh, is that the one where the bar also took all the skin off his shins?
Have you seen that because he's as
he's doing the deadlift that's the world record deadlift he's taking the skin off his shins and
i'm like fuck y'all fuck y'all because because like i'm i'm a pussy about shit like that like
like if you told me i was gonna get punched in the head it's like all right that's an injury that
that's not so bad but whenever i see him on the mat in ufc and black guys especially you can see
have ground their elbows down till they're like pink flesh
on the because the mat is like not quite sandpaper but pretty close i think it's canvas and people
know how rough canvas is very rough grippy stuff and they're on their knees and elbows grinding
that to me is like a like a paper cut kind of like oh i don't like that kind of injury thing
and it's a like i watched two guys go at it the other night in the UFC
match, and afterwards, like, exactly what
I said. He ground his fucking elbows down until they were pink,
and it's a black man. It looked bad.
Yeah.
Yeah, that's unpleasant.
I don't blame you for leaving. When you finally
join the home gym master race,
the only person you'll have to worry about nose
bleeding is you.
Yeah, I'm still moving from here fairly soon, but I said fuck it i'm just i'm just uh so i got my
uh my stuff in place now um so i'm gonna be doing most of everything from here i've got to see if
uh there's anything any holes missing in my game i don't think there really are um i mean there's
some machines that i would there's things i can replace like i don't have cables but i do like
the idea of trying to do it at my house.
I'm going to see how I like it.
I don't know.
I do like my dumbbells a lot.
Those are cool.
I've been doing, like, dumbbells here and then going to the gym
and doing the rest of the stuff because it's so close.
But, yeah, I'm going to try...
Yeah, those dumbbells you got are very cool.
So, Slush, has it...
You can, like, change the weight on them with the...
Because I've seen those where you, uh the weight on them with the is it because i've seen those
where you like you put them in the rack and then you like turn them and then they go to different
weights yeah i don't my opinion is that you're never going to actually like the final product
when you do that because i it just doesn't look like it's comfortable to like do push and pull
with because they end up with these big blocks on either end of your dumbbell yeah that's annoying like you there's just some movements i just don't
think you're gonna be able to do with that like i don't know maybe hammer curls or something would
end up being weird um yeah and i i just i don't like the aesthetic of them either like those big
power blocks and stuff i think bow flex makes one um you just like turn the dials yeah i don't know
makes one i don't like how they look and I don't trust them to be...
Have you seen the Nubel ones?
Really?
I mean, I'm all good now, but
I'll look.
Alright, I'm going to try to...
I'll get a time stamp, but it won't take me very long.
Found it.
Yeah, I'm looking at them.
These adjustable... Slushush you might not know
these adjustable dumbbells like the 10 to like 50 pound or 10 to 90 pound they're like
six to eleven hundred dollars these are these so yeah i'm going back i'm going back to my
concrete blocks so the new girls so the new bells bells are able to convert from five up to 80 pounds,
and they are 775 each.
So you need two of them.
But that's still really good.
This is timestamp.
Can you show this with no volume, Zach, please?
So, yeah, anyway, you
twist the handle that's in the middle, and when you
pull it out, it grabs just the amount on
the ends that you need to have, and he's about to
demonstrate that. So now it weighs
presumably five, I assume.
And then he'll put it in
there, twist the handle a little bit,
and hopefully lifts it again in a second.
Funny if he can't lift it.
That guy's way stronger than you might guess.
He looks like a regular person, but he's a lot stronger than I am.
Pretty strong to wear a mustache like that, man.
Yeah, yeah.
So I don't know if you saw it.
That's probably what I needed you to see.
He twists it.
He grabs three, clicks it again.
He grabs two.
It looks nice.
I think it's impossible to beat a rack of dumbbells,
unless you're concerned about space. Yeah, that's impossible to beat a rack of dumbbells, unless you're concerned
about space.
That too.
Yeah, that too. I like that as well.
I don't know.
I don't have a bunch of them right now because they just don't even
make all the lighter sizes. Although,
I think I have 10-pound dumbbells somewhere
and I wasn't going to pay $80 for a set
of 10-pounders with that grip on them.
Yeah, that's outrageous.
You don't need grip stability on 10 pounds.
If you process it, maybe this is obvious to everyone.
I didn't know it until I thought about it.
An 80 pound adjustable dumbbell only costs a little more than an 80 pound dumbbell
because the material costs are pretty similar.
But what it does is it's an 80, 75 65 60 etc so and a rack and oh yeah i
didn't consider the count of the cost of the rack at first it's a much you do have to buy a rack
typically because you don't want to do it off the floor adjust them off the ground that would suck
but um the rack is real small it holds one dump one pair as opposed to the kind of
rack i have for example which holds i don't know how many pairs oh no that's what i'm saying like
you avoid the big rack yeah oh yeah you avoid the space of the big rack and the cost of the big rack
how much is a pair of 80 pound dumbbells like just a stand adjustable one like we just looked at is
probably 1500 a set would be 1500 to 50. That particular dumbbell would be less than half that.
775 each, and you need two.
I'm on the website.
That's the adjustable ones.
How much is just one 80-pound dumbbell?
Where are they getting the extra cost on this?
Are they just selling the idea of this adjustability thing?
Surely that's both of them.
I think that's both of them, Kyle.
Although the price, I leaned the other way because I just bought my dumbbells and the pricing was the opposite.
It was like, do you want two of them?
Well, then click two, bitch.
I'm like, I don't quite understand.
Does it come with one or two?
How many do you want?
Two?
Well, then click it twice, asshole. Well, that's a lot of money.
It sure is.
It sure is, dumbass. Have fun with your
one-armed workouts.
So I sent him like, I think the whole
set shipped. I take it back. Not the whole
set because I skipped the 10 pounders, but like
12.
Three or four different weights, whatever,
was like 800 shipped or something roughly and
it got here fast like they got here in five days and you got up to 50 pounds right that's just the
highest i think i went higher right i went i went at least to 50 i went at least i didn't know if
they i thought they were so new they didn't have higher than 50 yet maybe i'm i think that is the
case yeah yeah they're in there those look really cool
either way well i hope slush i hope your fitness journey goes well you should yeah before you go
if you ever you know you'll get a lot more you'll get a lot more done if you just like
literally just look up like a ppl routine off bodybuilding.com and just follow something
like following anything is better than going in aimless oh here's the bad if you've got if you're
gonna link to something just throwing at me because i know nothing about this three of us combined are literally one fitness expert
like we literally this is literally like like a hobby for all three of us we spend time researching
and and doing and practicing this and doing it so like if you ever actually want some like
non-comical silly advice like we know how to do exactly what you want to do
and we're really good at it here.
There's a piece of advice you need to hear right away.
Take before pictures.
I will say that.
You can take them privately, you can take them with your wife,
but get your before pictures.
I'll send them to you as well.
I will send you pictures as well.
It's kind of my as well i won't say
no but even if you can't drive and slush like like like you're not you're not like like one of those
guys is worried about what you put in your body anyway like you just told me about doing speed and
candy flipping and stuff i am more now i mean go get yourself some testosterone and just really
throw some some gas on the fire, you know?
Yeah.
So the testosterone stuff, that is, if you take that, it's pretty much like you just, it's just extra muscle build is the go with it, isn't it?
I don't know.
Is there side effects to it?
I don't want to end up with gigantic dick nipples.
So I could talk about this for an hour, but just to, like, give you the broad strokes real quick um you'll just be a better man everything that that makes
a man a man you're better at you're you're you might more sex drive um more you're gonna have
higher energy levels um more like a little more hair growth um you're pretty hairy yeah a little
it might get a little bit more deal with it it. But you're going to build muscle super fast. You're going to recover from physical exertion really fast.
It's hard to tell what to attribute that I've done directly to testosterone because I've done so many things and kept up such a regimen.
But my cardio obviously improved dramatically, blood pressure, resting heart rate, all that stuff.
It's at pretty excellent levels, and I get regular blood work to make sure i'm staying healthy but in essence like you will just be a fitter stronger happier
healthier you not to mention that like if your current levels are at a certain point that's
that's literally low like we're not talking about this as a performance enhancer as much as like
a replacement for guys who have lower testosterone like yeah you've got a deficit right now like
maybe you're you'll think that you're happy but maybe your brain's just not working at 100 to let
you know that you're happy there may be a level of happiness you can't perceive of because your
hormones and any of us who've ever dealt with a hormonal woman know that one day these hormones
can send them into this terrible spiral of depression or fury and anger and the next day
they're if they're
a good person they're literally like holy shit what was that yesterday yeah and you're like you
never really hear about that with men because it's like uh they don't men wouldn't discuss that thing
because they're like yeah because it's like a taboo thing like i have so much testosterone and
my cock's huge it's like like you you hear about someone that people would be like oh he said he's
having testosterone therapy or something like that.
It'd be like, what, has he got a tiny dick or something?
What's wrong with him?
But it's just like.
What's wrong with him is he can't find weights heavy enough anymore.
Yeah, yeah.
It's a real struggle for him.
Yeah, yeah.
He's so strong he's broke off adjustable dumbbell builds.
He kept lifting the gym up and go band but but but like i'm just saying
like like it you know that's a medical thing that you do with a doctor and everything is all i'm
saying with that but but like as far as like regimens diet programs motivation all that stuff
like we're real good about that around here um yeah all three of us have like gotten much bigger
and stronger and fitter than we've ever been in our whole lives, I think, recently. I might be the strongest.
You are.
Yeah, there's no might.
I guess I'm wondering about my college.
I was pretty strong.
You can't swim like you could then, but you'd beat that guy up.
I think you'd beat that guy up.
Maybe.
I'm at my strongest and my fattest.
All right, how about this?
How about this?
I send you back.
I've been bloat maxing.
But if I send you back in a time machine if I send you back in a time machine
it would be so wouldn't it be fun
like I'd watch like don't you wish
that you could do stuff like that like as far as
I beat the shit out of my like 19 year old
self
you know what I want to
do that there was a guy who
kicked the fuck out of me when I had one
arm my other arm was paralyzed in a kicked the fuck out of me when I had one arm.
My other arm was paralyzed in a sling.
It was the first day I went outside after surgery on my nerve.
And we were walking.
My friend was mouthy. He got this other group of guys angry at us.
And for some reason, he fucking hit me in a sling.
I was still dizzy from everything.
It wasn't a fair fight i want me
there let me me right now there i would i could beat the fuck out of that guy that guy dude healthy
me back then could have beat the fuck i was like four inches taller than this guy he hit me so
hard he broke my nose in two places i was so unhappy i would watch this movie i would watch
this movie here's what happened you would kill him and they would arrest you in the past.
And you'd be doing time writing letters to your past father,
trying to convince him to like that you're his future son.
And you're going to need him to get you a lawyer because you just killed
the man on the boardwalk.
No,
it's not.
All right.
And it's not.
You don't know anyone else in the past.
Who else are you going to go to?
Woody's going to win his fight by reversing entropy.
But he has to keep it a secret
from his former self or the movie falls apart.
I want to be my own bodyguard.
That's what I wish I could do. That guy was a real
asshole, man. Who beats up a crippled
person? That's really shit.
I'm a piece of shit.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I saw one of the other.
I don't understand the idea of being anything but courteous to someone who's in a chair
or disabled in some way.
It never occurs to me.
It's always shocking when someone is.
I saw a video the other day, and this guy's on some kind of a bike trail, and he's in
his electric mobility off-roading
type scooter thing. Oh, I saw that.
And this asshole couple,
a man and a woman, like, you know, white people
are like, you know you're
not supposed to be out here with that electric scooter.
You know better than that.
And he's like, dude,
my legs don't work. This is my mobility
scooter. And he's like, you're not
allowed out here with those.
And his wife's like,
what's going on in here anyway?
And he's like,
I'm telling him that I don't have use of my legs.
And this is my only mode of travel.
And she's like,
well,
you should have led with that.
And he's like,
I did.
Yeah.
How can you not lead with that?
You can see him coming.
You can see him wheeling towards you.
Like,
you know,
they thought he was in some sort of like fun thing like some fun like joyrider it did look like fun
it did look like fun i've been joyriding so long he has no muscle the best part is now we can ride
our electric scooters wherever the fuck we want any trail you just tell them my legs don't work
it's just like if you want to take your pet on an airplane
if anybody's got a pet they ever want to fly with and i don't know about you but like i i love pets
like i don't have any currently but i would feel real shitty about checking them and putting them
in that kennel and everything like if that thing depressurizes back there then they just all
fucking die or maybe if you've seen how people handle luggage i don't know if some psycho is
gonna throw my dog around yeah i don't want them to even think of it yeah like so i don't i don't know if some psycho is gonna throw my dog around yeah i don't want them to even think of her yeah like so i don't i don't like the idea no one throws my dogs around kyle
they'll be in a kennel like maybe you're gonna they do them around at best yeah and if they do
fuck with woody's dog if they fuck with ender 71 year old woody's gonna appear from the future
backwards yeah backwards no so that's a mod dog but the way you get around that
if you want your dog on the plane or your anything on the plane they've nailed down a
few specific animals because people abuse this you just slap that service animal tag on there
they cannot question it they can't question it and there's no like like like board of like
service dogs anywhere so like they can't be like hey what's wrong with you
they can't ask that so so so you just said this is my service animal he's with me and it doesn't
even have to be like a smart like german shepherd it could be a retarded chickapoo or whatever the
fuck you've got any dog any animal i said it the other day i went into the supermarket and i was
i had the dog in the car and it was almost 40 degrees and i was i i had to just run in to grab something i was like
i'm not gonna leave him in the car he's gonna cook to death almost 40 degrees very hot right
40 degrees that's like 90 i'm trying to be clear it's cold to us but it's hot i think it's over 100
what's human body temperature in Celsius?
It's like 40-something.
38 degrees.
Okay.
That's helpful.
Okay.
Yeah, I think so.
I can't remember.
But yeah, so I'm carrying him into my arm,
and this woman's like,
you can't bring that dog in here.
And it was just like,
it's my service animal.
And she's just like,
oh, I'm sorry.
Ma'am, if you haven't noticed i'm retarded
and i need to read me the groceries i mean left my own devices i'll just go to the candy aisle
yeah exactly i mean what you're gonna do about it this is like walking in there
like covered in oh it's looking like a fucking blackout
quick topic shift taylor i i've been looking for movies for you.
I like doing this.
I can't find it.
I trust your judgment.
I can't find anything for me to watch.
So I can at least take pleasure in like finding things for you to watch because I've watched too much shit.
I'm out.
There's nothing left.
And I don't want your recommendations anymore because there are huge gaps in my movie viewing.
Like there are times you'll list like six movies and I haven't seen it.
Haven't seen it.
Penny Dreadful is all I have left.
I don't know what. I look
at it and I'm like, someday I'll watch when you're all done.
But there's nothing left
for me to watch. I have nothing.
I saw this movie advertised because I know you like
shitty horror movies and you like
retards. I found a shitty horror
movie about a retarded kid
who looks in a mirror and sees a demon.
I mean full-blown retarded. The actor
is playing it up. And he's just like,
oh no, they're the demon.
And the demon's like, I'm
going to take you over. And he's like, no.
And the demon holds him down and
crawls into his skin. And now it's
in him. Did they hire a non-retarded
actor for this role? If they
did, he deserves a fucking Oscar
because I believed every minute of this guy being a retard role if they did he deserves a fucking oscar because i believed every minute of
this guy being never go did they did they uh did they discover he was kyle did they discover he
was possessed because they went to like a restaurant and he ordered off the menu and
you're like scott you can't read but the demon they're just like there's something wrong with
scott the car honked outside and he didn't lose his fucking mind and start punching a hole in the wall okay we just so the movie is called uh
evil within and uh i'm looking i'm trying to get zach if you search the evil within like maybe if
you do an image search you could find a picture of the kid because like goodness they he looks
retarded um but but it literally is a movie about a retarded guy
who, like, starts talking to a demon in the mirror
and it possesses him.
And I'm saving that one for one night when, like,
I don't know, I have some friends over
and, like, we want to see something awful
because it looks it.
That's a video game.
Wait, hold on.
This says it's a 2017 horror film
written and directed by blah, blah, blah.
It was originally titled The Storyteller.
The film's conception and development was a personal project of Getty's
who largely self-financed it from $4 to $6 million.
Production took 15 years to complete.
How?
What?
15 years?
What, did they build a set?
The guy died in 2015.
Getty, Andrew Getty, the director, died in 2015.
Editing for the film was completed by producer
Michael Luceri.
What the fuck? 15 years
in development? How is that possible?
Well, it took 15 years to get
here, but finally.
It better be tremendous.
A tremendous...
As a child and an adult.
Now, I've seen this actor before, Kyle.
This guy's not retarded.
He's a good actor.
See, this is bullshit.
Non-retarded people are stealing jobs from retarded people.
Can I add one on to that?
I don't think that living people should be able to play dead people anymore.
This makes sense.
They're taking good jobs away from
hard-working corpses.
I would love it if corpses were generally
played by corpses in films.
You mentioned acting
something else about that.
Crying about it. I've been playing
a corpse since 72.
Alright? That's me in
Saving Private Ryan. Here I am with
Tom Hanks.
Sag? Like every All right? That's me in Saving Private Ryan. Here I am with Tom Hanks. Is it SAG?
SAG?
Like every great movie for the last 50 years,
he just zooms in on the background.
That's me, dead on the floor.
Yep, yep.
Dude, this guy that you thought was retarded, Kyle,
look at him again.
Look at his face.
His name is Frederick Kohohler and he's
46 now but he look at his face again he was uh jk simmons nazi son in oz oh okay oh yeah you
talked so so they filmed this 15 years ago see see when you said in production i assumed that
like they built the sets
and 10 years went past, and then they started acting,
and then this got made three years ago or something.
You're telling me they filmed this shit 15 years ago, and it's just now out?
Yeah, this was done.
This was finished and ready to go, but not edited as of 14 and a half years
before it was released.
Well, what you're seeing there is the demon crawling inside of the retarded boy. Forcibly.
That's a lot to crawl in.
Yeah, he's going to fit though.
I'll watch this. I really
like how you can see the strings holding the demon
up. Can you bring that back?
Do you guys notice that? Do you see the strings holding
the demon arms up? No wonder production
took so long.
Look at the strings!
Fuck, I can see them tied in a little knot there at the strings! Fuck, I can see
them tying a little knot there at the joint.
Yeah, see?
That's terrible.
That's great.
They're tying a fucking lazy
Susan knot or some shit right there.
I didn't even
skip off the end.
You'd tie up a snake better than that.
It's like it's a deal.
Why?
I'm going to watch this. I love campy, shitty horror. The Evil Within. I'm writing that down. made to be like a pop it or something it's like uh it's like it's deal why i'm i'm gonna watch
this i love campy shitty horror the evil within i'm writing that down well enjoy enjoy i saw a
movie that combined two of your favorite things and i i just knew i had to get it to you i i got
a little notebook i've been writing ideas down in but i lost my pants so yeah andrew andrew Andrew Andrew Andrew Andrew Andrew Andrew Andrew Andrew Andrew Andrew Andrew Andrew Andrew Andrew Andrew Andrew Andrew Andrew Andrew Andrew Andrew Andrew
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Andrew Andrew Andrew Andrew Andrew Andrew Andrew Andrew Andrew Andrew Andrew Andrew Andrew M.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A.A It's for the bit where he's like, what's the change sales? It's just, it's just so fucked.
It is.
Is there a,
uh,
uh,
ownership involved in the first episode?
Does that happen that quickly?
Uh,
it's yeah.
Oh yeah.
Yeah.
I,
I,
I think already in the first episode he gets booked and his asshole tattooed.
That's what I was.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I think we covered that whole.
Yeah.
It's, um, no, anybody out there is hearing this. Like if you can, tattooed that's what i was yeah that's like yeah i think we covered that whole yeah it's um no
anybody out there is hearing this like if you can't if you give a shit what i think about movies
and tv at all don't just skip oz unless you want a real downer it's a depression show there's no
happiness like look i i like shows that are dark and we could all die at the end i like the new
james bond a lot of people died at the end of that it's fine hey we don't always get away and it's
happy there's never a happy a smirk or a smile in Oz.
It's meant to depress you.
That's the point.
It is depressing.
I want to jump onto that because I am impressed by a film that makes me feel something.
Most films I watch, I'm just kind of neutral on the whole thing.
I'm waiting.
Things might happen to the character, but am I that involved?
Do I give a fuck?
Mostly, no.
I don't give a fuck.
A couple movies, when I watch them, it's like, oh, my God, this is happening.
This is holy smokes.
I had hopes for this.
I thought this was going to be okay.
Oz doesn't make me feel good, but it makes me feel.
So for that, I think it's really well done. I agree with you. The only thing that makes me feel so for that i think it's really well done i agree
with the only thing that makes me feel is my butthole clenching it's just so much anal rape
in it it's and nothing ever goes right now i think you're judging i feel targeted actually
i just don't think they like like you're right it does make you feel something but but
that is that that's not my barometer for great it makes you feel anxiety i do it makes you feel
anxiety um now i do like that but you can have that and still have like not a complete like
it makes you feel tense and then it gets raped and then you make you feel
tense and then he gets raped and there's never a time when you're tense and he doesn't get raped
so after a while worried something bad will happen and then it does then it does it never
doesn't happen that's the problem never goes and when there is sometimes you think that
things are turning around sometimes you're're like, oh, my God.
Thankfully, thankfully, this guy has figured out how to exist in prison in a happy place.
Oops, my mistake.
No.
Yeah.
And to add on to that, like usually in shows, there are little victories that keep you going where it's like, oh, the appeal was won by so and so.
And so they might have a chance to get out and re-litigate their whatever the hell.
But the little victories for the main character in Oz
is he's literally about to get mouth-raped
by the same Nazi again,
and he bites off the tip of the Nazi's dick,
and then the Nazis lose respect for that dickless Nazi,
and so they turn that Nazi out
and a larger Nazi rapes him,
and that's supposed
to be like the little bit of justice and it's like no this is still horrific like this is
oh no wait wait it wasn't that's what it is the the remember that the guy who got his dick bit off
he gets are you sure he wasn't an italian guy no it was it was uh schillinger's number two guy
who got his dick bit off and then schillingeringer was like, you know, dickless, you know, asshole, get the hell out of here.
And then there's this giant guy who's the only guy in the prison big enough to not have to be a member of any gang.
And he's like, hey, cutie, like this giant bald white guy.
He looks like a skinhead, but he's not a Nazi.
And then he just like dolls up this guy and like makes him put lipstick on.
And then he like, dude, some of the stuff they do.
I'm remembering the spoon scene where you want to rewatch it. And like the,
the,
the guy like bends over the dickless Nazi and like licks the spoon is like,
got to get you cleaned out for me.
And it's like,
Oh,
no,
that's not even a thing to do.
No,
this is a shit up at this point.
This guy is a sadist.
He got off on,
on hurting people.
And so he was doing anything to hurt them.
The Italian guy, he cups it from like a shilling.
And then he gets out of hospital and he's like, revenge.
And then he goes to stab him.
And then they're just like, no, thanks.
And they just hold him down and just do the same shit to him again.
It's like.
Yeah.
The little Italian guy.
The scene where he dips his hand into the engine grease.
And he's just like, all right, it's time.
It's just like...
It is such a brutal scene.
Because you're right, that little Italian guy
is trying to impress the bigger up,
high up Italian mafioso guys.
And he immediately gets raped by Adebisi,
the leader of the black gang in there,
when he tries to be tough because this idiot goes to Adebisi with like no backup, like like like nobody with him.
And then he gets out of solitary and you're right, immediately gets revenge and then raped by all the Nazis.
And then he goes insane. Remember that?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, really. There's not a single good thing about this show.
That thing.
And the whole time the
main guy who's running it is like we can't stop this program and for some reason no one's like
it failed dude this isn't working crystal palace yeah yeah that's what sort of confused me it's
just like uh it's it was more like a um like a forced sex commune than it was an actual jail
like it was literally just a regular jail cell but designed
by apple like it was like you could see through stuff and it had a lot of white but at the end
of the day it's like that's just made the rapes more visible they still weren't stopping it
yeah they weren't yeah that's a pretty brutal show it puts you in a funk after you watch it
you're talking about it is putting me in a funk. Oh, dude, it put me in such a funk.
The last time I watched a year and a half ago,
I remember the last time I watched it explicitly.
I finished the last step.
It was one of those things was like 1130 at night.
And I was on the last episode of the series.
And I had already felt that feeling that you imposed on me of like,
you know,
this,
I want to finish it.
Cause I started it again,
but I am in such a depressed,
like sad,
like anxious feel right now.
This is,
this is rough.
At least tomorrow I'm going to start in practical jokers or something.
I'm just going to watch something fun and silly.
Next morning I wake up still in a little bit of a funk.
Not as bad.
Get a call.
Mom died.
Yeah.
The day after I finished Oz
and so it was like
this is even worse than Oz
like
yeah
this is even
more upsetting than that show I was watching
so yeah that was
but
that was
that was a terrible way to cap off oz
i'm not re-watching that show again it was it was beyond beyond upsetting no one should watch
that show it's not a good show hey we're talking about oz how is HBO Max different than HBO Go?
Do they both still exist?
Would Oz be on Max now?
Has Max completely superseded Go?
I'm confused.
Yeah, Max has everything on it.
Every show they've made,
you can go into like the history
and hit Sopranos, Oz, Wire, all of it.
I don't think HBO Go is a thing anymore.
Yeah, I didn't think it was.
I've had HBO Max for a coon's age, as they say.
And I don't know. I like it a lot i i feel like there's enough movies on there um and just regular programming to
justify keeping it around because i i re-watched so much stuff and um i've got friends that haven't
seen like some of the mainstays there like boardwalk empire like if anybody hasn't seen
boardwalk empire we never really talk about it because sopranos and the wire and stuff like that
are so much better but that's good company to be in like the first season of boardwalk empire is
excellent after that they kill off a main character and it's it's a different show after that that's
not as good but at that point you can kind of start leaning on the world war two two world war
one veteran who only has half his face and wears the mask then that guy kind of becomes your
favorite he's very cool he becomes very likable. That is a great show.
I need to watch more of that.
I watched the whole thing as it was coming out,
but I can rewatch it. Really good cast.
You recognize a lot of people. Yeah, Steve Buscemi kills it
and everything. Steve Buscemi's really good,
but I still don't think
he's a leading guy. He didn't lead that
show too well, I don't think. You can never
believe him as any kind of a physical
threat, because he's just such a worm of a guy and he's old like it's like maybe like a young
uh steve uchimi could have been like wiry or maybe like like hit you with a bottle or something but
like old imagine like yeah been really cheap in a fight like get eye gouging and shit like that
yeah like the best you can do is order someone to hurt you or maybe shoot you but but you're just not afraid of steve buscemi in that show the same and i know like like tony
soprano wasn't exactly the epitome of health but he was a big burly strong guy yeah oh well i mean
and he demonstrated enough times throughout that show that this big fat lug of an italian could
throw some i mean you can see his hands in the show they're just they're so big they're so
big holiday he has holiday ham hands he's got his back he has like he's got like fucking a super
bowl ring for an o-lineman like on his hand tightly but uh before we move to anything else
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honestly, honestly, like swear. Yeah,
this is not hang with my loads for
sure. Like it's not real
like those ridiculous ones
like maybe it was Peter North or somebody like that
that was known for like soaking women
like get out of here with that. I think
you might have a tube up your asshole
sir. There's nobody behind
him.
My arms, Peteete i'm tired
i don't know how they do that because it seems to come from his dick but i i don't know what to say
that is not it like it's like spider-man how is there even enough like bio-organic matter in his
body where was it where was it before it was on her?
Where was it stored in him?
Because this motherfucker must have a venom sack.
Mark Rockwell is his name.
Mark Rockwell is his name.
Have you guys seen that meme
where Spider-Man buys a spray
and then it just hits that chick in the face?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, Mark Rockwell is his name.
And that guy's a huge loads
I
Think what he'd done there is he used a technique where he where he comes but he's squeezing the head of his penis
Not allowing any out and then he's making it all go out in one burst
And it just hits your face like when Spidey would send the big wide web to capture somebody
technique
Is a pretty funny, buddy.
That was one of the coolest things about Spider-Man.
He doesn't just have a web to grab things with. He's got a whole
wide web of things
that he can do with those things.
Not all of them, though. Which Spider-Man
do you like better, or which version?
The one who is mutated
and so webbing just comes out of his wrist?
Or the one who is smart enough
in addition to being bitten by a
radioactive Spider-Man, that he has created
a super material that he
creates willy-nilly with
his job working at the Daily Bugle
in his apartment
and it just fits a little pod there.
That's such an easy question. You want to be
the guy with the stuff built in.
Which do you prefer, though?
I just agree.
No, no.
I want...
Oh.
Okay.
As a viewer.
It's a different question.
As a viewer, I am more impressed by smart Spider-Man.
And I like, as a viewer, that he impressed Tony Stark.
So that version of the...
But didn't Tony Stark make the web for it?
I thought Tony Stark might.
No, Tony Stark meets him and he's like, this is really impressive stuff.
I can see what you did here.
There's kind of a...
Not that he's Tony Stark's peer because he invents
all sorts of great stuff, but
Tony Stark was impressed with what he did.
It feels like he doesn't have a superpower if he can't shoot web.
What is his superpower then?
It's everything else.
He's incredibly athletic.
He's a wicked pro climber.
He's also got the spidey sense.
It's literally like a sixth sense where he can sense danger.
He can pick up cars and throw them.
He can.
He's got a VW for sure.
Every one of the Spider-Man movies has had a moment
that really got to me a little bit.
It had an emotional response. Are you you're talking about the cranes again
not the cranes not the crane we're going back to toby mcguire we're going back to toby mcguire
the goofiest of all spider-man um i need to watch the new one because i know but the best peter
parker carry on it's it's when he's on the front of that fucking train and and he's he shoots the
webs out and they and but they break it's not enough and so he shoots he shoots the webs out and they but they break it's not enough and so he
shoots a ton of them out and he's trying to slow the train down it's almost gonna tear him apart
he's just screaming and his mask is off and he like passes out from the exertion but he saves
everybody and he almost falls off which would have been death but the people grab him and they
carry him back in and they're doing a totally they're carrying him in like fucking christ or
something you know they're passing his body back really hard and and like he wakes up and the crowd's like at this i don't know like
like one of the one of the guys says he's just a kid it's like no older than my son like they're
realizing this is just a kid that's like saved him on and and they're like he's like realizes he
doesn't have his mask when he wakes up and this little boy like gives him the mask and he goes
we won't tell and everybody just goes yeah we won't say anything and he's just
like that that moment's really emotional for me though i think that's a strong moment it might be
the strongest moment um do they say careful like you're carrying a hero or something like something
like that yeah yeah and they're being so gentle with him yeah it's it's really cool it's a good
scene that seems great and then too often people rescued by superheroes aren't properly appreciative.
Yeah.
They almost are mad at them sometimes.
I think that's a new thing with the movies
and TV shows and properties that we have right now
that are meant to be
these shitty superheroes.
The people have gotten jaded to the existence
of them, just like we would probably.
We're sitting here joking around and meanwhile there's a fucking war going on in ukraine you know like what else can
you do at some point so the same way like after a while you'd be like yeah there's a guy that flies
around it blows people up occasionally he's uh yeah he bends still and he sees through walls
he just does that uh nothing you just live with it i've never seen him like crime rates too small
here he doesn't really do anything for me i don't give a fuck about him i don't know there'll be nobody caring about the lapd it's like i never
see them i don't give a fuck about them here's why you care because the existence of him is the
world's most powerful nuclear weapon right and governments would be trying to manipulate superman
into being on their side superman could end the ukraine war in a hurry
oh yeah imagine what a tank buster he'd be he'd bust up 300 tanks in like 15 minutes you know
like just zooming literally through them in one side and out the other you guys seen watchman
before yeah yeah yeah yeah when they said like dr manhattan i mean he's just like lasering all
the asians just like yeah i want to say the lesser ones were in
vietnam helping a lot too right did dr manhattan just it was just dr manhattan and the comedian
and the comedian's just like setting people on fire i love that one line like me and mike tyson
going to beat people up there's a no the comedian was like the more ruthless of them he was he was
exacting some psychological warfare he's torturing and burning the villages dr manhattan would just vaporize you though but i remember i love the line in
watchman where they're like the war was over three months after my arrival most of them wanted to
surrender to me personally and it just shows like the vietnamese like bowing down like he's a god
but how couldn't you like like he is a god he is he is a god like like yeah what is
he what does that guy say he's like um he's like i think he misunderstood my quote i didn't say uh
there is a god it's like god is born and he's american like yeah like he's just describing him
as is the creator yeah the existence of some sort of a superhero would like like that would like
completely upend like the power system of the world.
There's that comic, what is it, Superman Red Son?
Like S-O-N, not S-U-N.
I think the idea is that Superman crashed in the Ukraine maybe or something like that, and now he's a Soviet.
And they just explore that timeline where Superman is a Soviet the whole time instead of an American.
What would you do if you were a superhero?
What I do?
If you got dropped into nuclear waste and then became Superman, what's your game plan?
Are you taking over a government?
Are you ending all world hunger?
Am I literally like Superman?
Yeah. I think I'll just conquer the whole world. I don't think I'd stop at one government. government are you ending a world hunger are you am i literally like superman yeah it's just oh
i think i'll just conquer the whole world i don't think i'd stop at one government i think i'd pull
it all under one banner and i would make memes a big part of it um because you know you're basically
saying what would you do if you're god um so so yeah i would i would have a good sense of humor
about it but everybody would now i mean the flag would be it would be a good sense of humor about it, but everybody would now... The flag would be...
It would be a meme for sure.
Like the
butt flag behind me from The Simpsons?
Yeah.
It's just your bicep.
I like that.
Oh, I like that.
That's just FBS Roush's spice.
I would
own the new Congress because I'd want
to set up some representation
for the whole world, but they would
only be comprised of WWE
stars and former WWE
stars. We're bringing The Rock back. John Cena
too. Undertaker, I'm looking at
you, Mankind. You gave your body up for us.
I'm bringing you back. You're getting a good job.
What would you do, Taylor?
Well, Ric Flair is going to have a position of prominence.
Would I have a position of prominence
in your government? You would be the head of state.
Yes. I'm down with that.
I didn't say which state.
If I'm the Superman, you can be head of state in mine.
It wouldn't be a real state. It would be like an emotional state.
You're the head of sadness. You're the head of state in mine. It wouldn't be a real state. It would be like an emotional state. You're the head of sadness.
You're the head of despair.
State of despair.
You're the head of melancholy.
The secretary of dome.
Honestly, I always say that when I'm streaming.
People go, what state do you live in?
I'm like, a state of despair.
I like your idea of WWE wrestlers where they're like coming to you and he's like grandmaster kyle i i think we need to give food to the masses and you're like bang bang bang
in character and he's like you know grandmaster kyle i was thinking we could give some food to the masses.
Maybe.
And you're like, not good enough.
Bring in the exhumed corpse of Andre the Giant.
Do I have the power to reanimate that or is that beyond my ability?
Hell yeah, let's throw that in the mix.
All right.
Zombie Andre the Giant.
I would definitely take over the whole world. Actually, you know what? I would definitely take over the whole world.
Actually, you know what? I wouldn't take over the whole world right away.
You could bring back one celebrity.
You could bring one celebrity back to life.
Who do you bring back to life? Jesus.
Fuck you. Why are you bringing Jesus back to life?
Then we all have to go to hell!
I wouldn't be a good judge.
I wouldn't be looking at Jesus.
I wouldn't be looking at Jesus.
I wouldn't be looking at Jesus.
I wouldn't be looking at Jesus.
I wouldn't be looking at Jesus.
I wouldn't be looking at Jesus.
I wouldn't be looking at Jesus.
I wouldn't be looking at Jesus.
I wouldn't be looking at Jesus.
I wouldn't be looking at Jesus.
I wouldn't be looking at Jesus.
I wouldn't be looking at Jesus.
I wouldn't be looking at Jesus.
I wouldn't be looking at Jesus.
I wouldn't be looking at Jesus.
I wouldn't be looking at Jesus.
I wouldn't be looking at Jesus.
I wouldn't be looking at Jesus.
I wouldn't be looking at Jesus.
I wouldn't be looking at Jesus.
I wouldn't be looking at Jesus.
I wouldn't be looking at Jesus.
I wouldn't be looking at Jesus.
I wouldn't be looking at Jesus.
I wouldn't be looking at Jesus.
I wouldn't be looking at Jesus.
I wouldn't be looking at Jesus.
I wouldn't be looking at Jesus.
I wouldn't be looking at Jesus.
I wouldn't be looking at Jesus.
I wouldn't be looking at Jesus.
I wouldn't be looking at Jesus.
I wouldn't be looking at Jesus. I wouldn't be looking at jesus would be really boring current i want to know what jesus is up to like you get there and
he's like a really nice guy he's just like everyone's cool i'm real happy and it's like
i don't hang out with that guy i want to hang out with a guy with a like a really
harsh opinion of something that's like really he's just judges that's like his thing i think
yeah but he's like jesus is going and shit like that it's like i don't want to talk to that con
he sounds like a pussy jesus's dad is a
lot judgier yeah jesus jesus it was a good cop bad cop routine where he's the same guy you know so
like god my dad's definitely gonna beat you up man like yeah jesus good cop hey you know what my dad
doesn't have to break your legs if you accept me as your savior that's not a threat it's a promise
it's like yeah it's both I would like to know
because we've been told what Jesus would think
about current events. I'd like to hear what Jesus says.
Is Jesus even pro-choice or pro-life?
I don't know. How does Jesus feel
about guns?
I bet he would think guns were cool.
Not nail guns.
No, not nail guns.
Is that a Wings of Redemption joke?
No.
Oh, that's what it came from online.
Oh, that's what it was.
That's an old-ass joke.
I thought it was Wings because you took his job and everything.
I get you guys confused.
Yeah.
I remember we had Wings on this show until Taylor.
Dude.
Until I started sending threatening emails to Woody and Kyle.
We better get this guy on the show.
We were watching a wings clip earlier before the show.
I was showing Taylor.
You had seen it before though, right, Taylor?
That clip I sent you of wings on his porch?
I don't believe I'd seen that unless it was on the show.
I didn't remember it.
So it's basically like wings, his grandmother, rest in peace,
and some other lady who looks like i don't know mildly
attractive and about 35 or so uh maybe 40 i don't know she didn't look terrible um but they are
talking about sex toys because gangster grandma's boyfriend has just bought her like this vibrating
little egg thing and she's like oh yeah it does job or whatever and and wings thinks this is funny
so he's recording it all and and then and then the other lady is like, let me get mine.
And she like goes out to her car, I guess, or something.
And gets this big, it gets like a double fisting,
like not a Hitachi.
It looked like something you'd work on someone
who had an injury or something out.
So then she plugs it in this big vibrator
and she's like, and she puts it on her pussy
and she starts masturbating on the porch through the clothes through the clothes through the clothes
and she goes and she's like playing with it for way too long for it to just be like silly business
and then too long on the porch and then she's like get that girl put that on your clit and
she's talking to like wings grandmother who's sitting right next to him. And I'm just sitting there like, how did I forget about this?
I was talking to Kyle about it.
Watching that scene, have you ever stayed up way too late and it's like 2.45 in the morning on Adult Swim
and those 15-minute bad-ass-to-trip shows come on?
It was like one of those.
Like one of those tongue-in-cheek, like satire things almost.
Like it's so bizarre.
I know that it wasn't satire.
Yeah, I don't know.
I think it's on Webby's.
I don't know whose channel that's on.
We can't show it, but, I mean, it'd be easy to find.
If you search like Wings of Redemption and then Vibrator, you get it.
That's how easy it was for me to track down.
I had forgotten that it existed.
And at one point, Wings touches the sex toy down uh it's uh i i had forgotten that it existed and and at one point
wings touches the sex toy and it's like i think they go and produce a third sex toy out of a out
of a bedroom or something and they're plugging them in and it just goes on for way too long and
it's so weird so weird yeah it is it is a bit odd wait is gangster grandma she's rest in peace
oh she is okay r.i.p did not yeah must have forgotten that
we were talking about wings the other day on my stream and i didn't really uh know much about him
and then uh so my chat has sent me down this rabbit hole and they've leaking me like two
hour videos of uh his entire life and i'm just sitting there watching and i'm like
why am i learning about this dude i'm in the video prominently right i always am yeah yeah but i was like i i'm just watching
i'm like i i just remember sitting there just watching it i'm like i actually care
maybe it just feels like every time i watch a wings of redemption lifetime story i'm like there's me again there's me again yeah i remember this yeah one thing one thing i've noticed is like
so many of the thumbnails and like uh like clips like hell i'm behind that camera i took that
picture like like most of them are like the thumbnails are like my my handiwork you know
it's it's stuff that i shot you know like like that's what warms the thumbnails are like my my handiwork you know it's it's stuff
that i shot you know like like that's what warms my heart that i that i contributed that little way
i guess yeah um you know yeah i don't know really know much know much about him and then uh my
chance like he was on pka you've been on pka and you don't know who he is and i like and i was like
like i've heard of him we've known about him because yeah we've we don't have a decade dude
like we we started out like working alongside this guy and like in the same community and like we've been to his house
we've met persons several times um he lived at my house for a month like we know this guy
all right he's a chap was up me chap was just like fucking how do you not know this and i'm
like i'm sorry i'm just saying i'm a boomer i don't know shit Don't leave me alone. It's wings parallel in terms of fame,
right?
Like,
like,
like you might name recognition.
Use that.
Yeah.
Maybe that's better.
Right.
Cause if wings were to stream right now and do his thing,
like a lot of times he doesn't interact with the chat because when he
does that,
it just gives them more avenues to attack him and stuff like that.
So,
so if he does streams right
now he gets a couple hundred viewers and that's cool that's not nothing but it's not
a good indicator of his fame right his level of like he's like i get a couple hundred views on
my stream and i'm nowhere near as famous as wings like that guy's he's been seen by a billion people
maybe i don't know that's a really big number.
It's a lot.
It's a huge amount.
Don't you think?
If you think about all the videos about him,
this tapping the stop sign meme that was prominent
on Facebook at one point.
Oh, if you talk about people who would recognize,
who would say, yeah, I've seen that guy before,
or people who would say, yeah, I've heard of that guy.
It's an enormous amount of people. It's in the tens of millions for sure and and that's a lot
of people spread like like it means that in any room that you're in where there's another three
or four people one of them had will recognize his photo or know his name at least a little
i guarantee it's true it's it is Tens or hundreds of millions
I've been in like Tarkov lobby
Like playing Tarkov and I void and I'll be like
I'll be in a gunfight with some guy who doesn't know me
He's not recognizing my voice and he has
I'm not streaming so he's just like randomly in the game like hey
Do you know who Wings of Redemption is he's like
The big guy
Like if you know that
Then you know Wings
If when I say Wings you think the big guy like that's
enough that you know wings and there's this guy uh frederick nudson who has 1.1 million subs and
like he just makes this series called down the rabbit hole and it's like those like in-depth
documentary things and his videos all have insane views and like his number one video on his channel wings of redemption down the rabbit hole
eight million views over a million more than the next one up it has almost twice as many views as
the the chris chan video on his channel which wings is not as famous as chris chan internet
lore but he's very very famous eight million so like kyle's like tens of millions there's eight
right there yeah that's what i'm saying i was gonna i was gonna mention that as like part like i saw that the other day
because i was talking to chis about this um like you know the the latest stuff i was explaining to
chis that like it seems to me it boils down to some feminine odor here boys and everybody was
too much of a pussy to say that if there's anything else again i i haven't heard like
that was it right am i wrong i want to know, but it seems to me that we're talking about a smelly pussy
and everybody was too much of a
lily flower to be like,
yeah, we're talking about smelly pussy.
What are you scared of? Say smelly pussy, stinky pussy,
cunt. What are you, a baby?
Be a baby? I don't want to talk to a grown man
who's afraid to say a dirty word.
I don't want any grown men in my life
that can't say, I don't want any grown women in my life
that can't say a fucking dirty word.
Look, I'm not saying you have to walk around
all day being foul-mouthed. I don't curse.
I agree. I want to hang out with
children.
No adults at all.
Thank God, Taylor, you said that.
I thought it was just me.
It's a pedo joke right there.
Are there many adults who are really a are like really averse i mean like
aside you know when he's got to do take a piss what do you say when you got it because i because
i usually say p or piss i p i usually say p unless i'm like being silly and i'll say piss i might say
use the bathroom yeah like one of those and he says tt wing says tt okay that you know like like a little piece of information i'm gonna take a tt
be right he'll say i'll be right back i gotta go take i gotta go tinkle like it's just like
i'm gonna go tinkle
that's something that uh undeveloped penises do yeah like like
i have a man's penis.
It's so funny because the same thing happens in The Wire.
There's a scene where the black police commissioner who created
Amsterdam is getting his new private sector
job. The private sector big up
guy is having a dinner with him and a third
party that's cooking it all up.
The big wig who's going to give him the
cool job and hire him, the billionaire, is like,
all right, excuse me. I got to go take a tinkle. And they just don't say anything.
But when he walks away, he was like, you've been taking a minute. Hope you didn't have to take a
dookie too.
And they laugh at this pussy ass white guy who's afraid
to say piss or shit. I mean, dookie is at least
funny.
It's just so silly.
Poopoo would have been better.
That's what you like. In the middle of a meeting,
it's like, I apologize. I have to go poopoo.
I think Dookie is funny.
Ladies and gentlemen
of the board, please hold. I need to
take a dookie.
Do you remember what they had to say in Practical Jokers? The embarrassing way
they had to tell somebody they had to go shit?
I don't remember. I've got to take a
Mondo Duke.
You've got to take a Mondo Duke.
This is probably an Australian one, but
a common Australian one is I've got to go take a
slash.
For poop or pee?
For poop?
Yeah, I don't even know what it means.
I've got to take a slash.
No, I've never heard that.
I don't even know what it means either, but it's just a lot of Australians say.
As a child, I would sometimes say drain the main vein because I thought it was edgy.
Yeah, it rhymes.
It's not a vein.
Well, there's veins in there.
Draining them, hopefully. Yeah, I'm not hopefully about peeing blood. it's not a vein well there's veins in there hopefully
yeah
no I don't know
but yeah he's you know
Wings is an interesting character
yeah he is
he just needs the right handler
and he could be a TV star
I
I don't know why.
I used to know a couple of
medium-time TV producers, the guys
that would want to do stuff with me
that paid okay but took all
your time forever. It was like, hey,
do you want to make $5,000 an episode? It's like, wow,
that sounds good. $5,000 an episode. How many
do you want? 12, 20? Oh, maybe 8
to 15. Oh, that's great. That's a big chunk of money.
Well, we knock that out in two
months and then i go back to my youtube thing right oh no for the next three years you will be
like wait so my entire income will be that this for the next couple oh no no okay but for wings
one of those guys could have produced such a cool show for him like dude if the last five years of
his life even maybe even a little bit more more like all that gangster grandma stuff and all the drama and all the nonsense.
Like if that were I've seen what reality TV is.
Somebody the other day was watching like 90 Day Fiance and I caught some of it.
That shit is garbage, nonsense, bad TV.
Wings is good TV.
And even his staunchest haters would have to agree that if he were on like the e-network
or mtv or tlc or something court tv i don't care he's my viewers tv whatever it would be a fucking
show you the trolls would have such a field day with him if he was on tv though they people that
hate people it's the same passion as loving them they'd watch it just as much wings needs wings here's what
you need to do and i know that like if you want to make some money and i know things are probably
not great right now to make up like a big move like this but they are this is the perfect time
you need to find um someone to produce like a few episodes of the show to you so that you have
something to send to a network because dude they would pay you to make a tv show for them and it wouldn't be fucking millions of dollars but it
would be tens of thousands of dollars you just need a pilot episode you need someone to film a
pilot episode and you will not be producing it they are the ones who are going to tell you what
to do if you could do that then you would make a lot of money and you'd be on tv that's all it
would take all it would take is a good pilot episode that was framed and produced by someone who knew what funny was but if wings
is like all right now film me doing this now film me doing that and then it's going to be as bad as
his youtube videos it's there's no point doing that but his life as it is producer on the phone
just go just take a lot just take a camera and live stream just go to ukraine and walk around
well that's what sean Penn is doing right now.
Sean Penn is filming a documentary right now in Ukraine
documenting the war.
Yeah, the Ukrainian president praised his bravery.
And they took over Chernobyl.
The Russians owned the Chernobyl.
As I read it, they took over the Chernobyl power plant.
Wait, is that thing active?
They turned it back on?
Yeah, right? right no but it's
still there it's still probably pretty cool it's it's sort of in between like the the um border
between belarus and uh kiev like the main city so it's like you go you drive down to kiev but it's
just like a short turn off so it's like on the way there i guess i haven't could take it but for no reason
no that's where you're wrong russia wants to control the chernobyl neutral nuclear
factory reactor to signal to nato not to interfere they own chernobyl as a threat
that they'll blow this shit up well they could have done that with an airstrike no yeah oh well i guess i guess what
they're saying is and you're all right that's all all right what's that article from because like
i'm not blaming rooters how do you pronounce it well whoever is a fucking idiot because because
all right first of all vladimir putin has thermonuclear like icbms and he i'm sure he
has some off the coast of fucking South America,
if not North America, right now, in a nuclear
submarine. So forget that.
But the idea of making some sort
of dirty bomb as a nuclear power
is nonsense. But even if he did,
the winds go the other fucking way.
The winds would sweep the
waste across all of Western Europe
and all of Russia. They'd be the ones
most hit by it if they
detonated Chernobyl.
It sounds right because the jet stream
goes that way in general. I think, though,
that last time they kind of went
north and bothered Europe, but
I don't know. But there would
be no reason to do it. It would be cheaper just to
produce a cobalt bomb and then just drop it
somewhere in Ukraine. You didn't
have to harvest Chernobyl and do something. You had to bust chernobyl up and i didn't think you'd
even want to send people there like wouldn't it's it's still not good to be there right like so you
wouldn't want to you can send people there to make it go there you just you can go there it's just
you can't spend a lot of time like close to the reactor. I have no idea why he would want to hold
that, but the idea of him using it as a
dirty bomb is absurd. It doesn't add up,
does it? As you guys mention
it, you're like, you know what? He has really
good options. Why would he want
this cheesy option? Oh, yeah.
He could put a nuclear bomb anywhere
he wants to put it. Why does
he need to take over Chernobyl? Yeah, he's not
playing hardcore mode for no reason.
He's going to take the easy way out.
In all likelihood,
what it really seems to me,
it's a big area on the
way, right between where he entered the
country and where he wants to go, that's
deserted. It seems like that's probably
why he's there. You think of Chernobyl as just
a plant, that radioactive area, but it was
a gigantic city with a huge suburb and everything right it's a big area of land
probably like the river so it's probably has like uh it probably has bridges there that are
strategically important for crossing maybe i'm reading propaganda maybe i'm reading like
putin took over chernobyl as a way to scare me as a way to make chernobyl i'm sorry putin
look bad as like maybe putin took over chernobyl and this is a sign it's the most serious threat
in europe today i'm reading um it's a sign that nato shouldn't fuck with us that sort of thing
maybe none of that is really true and chernobyl is not that relevant militarily
yeah i i would say it's just I would say it's just for bridges.
Like why else would you care?
I wish someone would like,
this is another one of those examples.
I feel like if someone not speaking like jibber jabber to like,
just,
just get a,
get a headline like,
okay,
so what do you think?
Run me through it.
What does he do with Chernobyl?
That's bad.
What does he do?
Perfect.
What's step one,
two,
three,
and four.
And what are the results? Cause like like if you're the idea that they're
making it if anything i feel like we would probably wouldn't want to strike that area
if they were hiding there it's all well the first clue is that the term chernobyl very clicky
use the images from the mini series yeah hbo i know mark it'll be cool
i can tell you i'll tell you exactly why
look at the look at the map it's the only bridge north of kiev that crosses and it's the closest
to the belarusian border that's the the only reason they would capture it yeah yeah that makes
a lot more sense i don't know but um the river is too thick to cross to Kiev. What is a good... I've been watching ABC and CBS,
just their live apps on my Amazon,
but I don't know where else to go for...
I wish I had CNN,
but I don't even know where their app is,
or if I can get it.
You're probably doing better than me.
If you're looking for the battle clips,
those usually...
No, no, no.
Social media before anything else.
Like right now,
not right now, obviously, but after the show, I'd like
to just watch CNN Live because if something
happens, there's going to be a reporter with a camera
pointed at it on a balcony somewhere.
I don't know. I want to watch that later.
I tend to watch. This doesn't fill your need,
but I watch CNN and Fox
and I mostly watch them on YouTube,
the clips. It's not real time like
you're looking for.
I need to find an... Why is there no... There probably is CNN Live.
I think CNN Live is on
their website. Yeah, but I want to do it on my
Amazon device. I bet you
can find a live streamer who's there.
I could probably use the internet browser on my Amazon
device and just go there. It's irrelevant.
I'll get it fixed.
I don't know. I hope this thing doesn't spill over and get any
bigger than it is. It's hard not to talk about
because it's kind of all that's been happening the last couple days.
It's pretty scary.
You notice that we're not talking about the mask so much right now?
I just read
that they're lighting up the mask mandate.
Dude, have you seen
Omicron numbers?
They're gone.
I was right. I am going to do my celebration rain
dance my thing about omicron omicron whatever it is spreading across the world and inoculating
everyone in eradicating the disease in a non-deadly way was true i'm declaring war on covid victory over covid victory george bush style
i like it you need to go on amazon and order yourself a custom plaque
woody 2021 i called it just a feeder defeater of covid savior of mankind yeah for the next 90 days humanity is inoculated against covid that's about how long it lasts if
you get the virus and uh we should be gone did you see the freedom convoy that's headed from
the west coast to dc i did not is it a trucker thing it is a trucker thing? It is a trucker thing, and they're talking about putting the fences
back up around the Capitol.
What is with the Freedom
Convoy? What are they going for?
What are they trying to... I thought that was in Canada.
Oh, they hate tyranny.
Isn't that in Canada?
So tyranny... How are they being
tyrannized? I think I've been pretty clear about this.
They hate tyranny, love freedom.
And they're truckers.
What more do you want to know?
You want names, numbers?
We need your blood type, Slush.
What's wrong with you? They hate
tyranny.
We have the best
protesters outside of
the capital in Australia at the moment. So they've
set up this camp and it's essentially what
they wanted to be, a freedom convoy here here and they're all just like sitting around doing
basically fuck all and uh so there's just been like this going like thing where they're just
freaking out so there's a there's a huge spate of uh pink eye because they're all just like
they just have like they have like they're like shitting in the trunk of their car and stuff like that.
They're all just protesting and eating ass.
Yeah.
Oh, I'm sorry.
The next one they're freaking out about, they're freaking about that they were getting watched from the trees.
And there's like a video of this guy picking out like a, it's like a breather thing for trees.
They put them into trees to help them grow.
And he's picking out this tiny little plastic thing.
And he's like, it's a secret camera and like freaking out they're being watched and then the third one they all got sun
burnt because it was really hot and now they're accusing the government of using sound-based
weapons on them because they're all it is really funny using your smartphone that can track you
anywhere on earth to take a picture of a piece of plastic around a tree. Like, they're tracking me.
Meanwhile, let's put this back in the pocket.
By the way, Slush Puppy is watching a video of this guy saying that he's being videotaped by a piece of plastic in a tree.
But he is being videoed.
Yeah.
By himself, probably.
Oh, I imagine somebody else did it.
Okay.
I was picturing him, like, vlogging it.
So, Pink Eye. else did it okay oh yeah i was picturing him like vlogging it yeah so is that so pink eye i remember
as a kid because you mentioned pink eye and it made me think like the thing as a kid is everybody
was like oh that means you got poop particles in your eye yeah is that that's that's true or that
was a kid thing yeah yeah if you get poop particles in your eye you get a lot of people get it if they
like travel to like i don't get you don't really call them third world countries anymore but like you go to places like i don't understand a shitty hotel in vietnam and
you don't use your own pillowcase and it hasn't been washed correctly with like sanitized water
then it has poop particles in the water you get it from the pillow and stuff like that like that's
usually how people get it or just have you guys had it before not washing their hands properly
remember i thought i had pink eye like like in, I think, but it was a stye.
Oh, that was.
Dude, I popped that bitch.
I popped that bitch.
Oh, that fuck.
There was so much pus in my eyelid.
Oh, my God.
It was so painful that my whole eye was throbbing.
I couldn't sleep on that side.
And I eventually popped it with a q-tip like i was like rolling the pus with the q-tip like under the skin until it just started
like flowing out it was so gross it was awful but like it was one of those things where like i don't
know if you ever like like banged your thumb and got like a blood blister that you had to yeah you
had to pop with like a melted uh melt through with like a hot needle or something but that immediate release of pressure
is so nice
like getting all that pressure
off that nerve like whatever it is
it's just like oh thank god
thank god we fixed the problem
pink eye is going to feel like a walk in the park
compared to that like pink eye is just like
you can't see that well out of I haven't had it
since I was a young kid it seems like a kid disease
because you're just dirty and grimy all the time yeah your face and eyes but like yeah
your eye burns it stings it like gets that crusty shit when you wake up in the morning you have to
pull it off your eyelashes like other than that just like yeah like uh yeah i don't think i don't
think it's that bad but it's hilarious that all these idiots got it because i don't know how to
wash their hands or like i don't know not pick their own assholes it could be have you ever
thought about the government chem trailing poo particles over their parade that's true exactly
yeah you've never you've never thought about that have you dumb ass exactly
feeling a little targeted
but they are filling these entire giant planes with feces and crop dusting, literally, the Freedom Convoy with pink eye.
Yes, that's the reason my eyes are red.
I'm definitely not.
Because I was supporting our Freedom Convoys by eating out an American trucker's ass.
The way you do. The way you do.
The way Americans do.
He is fun.
I haven't seen anything about that guy in a while.
Alex Jones.
Yeah.
I don't know.
I like protesting.
I don't know what they're protesting for.
Is it an anti-mask thing?
Is that what they're...
I think it's anti-lockdowns.
Yeah. That was... I don't know anything about this everything to do with covid mandates or
something like that i don't know i heard canada was about lockdowns i didn't even know america
is doing one oh i think no no most of the canadians are vaccinated yeah like 90 percent
of the truckers across the border Or be a trucker or something.
And they didn't like that.
And so most of the truckers in Canada are vaccinated.
They're just against lockdowns and shit, like mandates.
I didn't know Americans do it.
Are you guys all vaccinated?
Do you all get it?
No, I got that natural immunity.
Yeah.
I got, yeah, I'm vaccinated and I got my booster like late last year before I went to Mexico.
Maybe even this year.
Yeah.
It was just like everyone in Australia has to get it.
But it wasn't like, you'll die because I work from home.
But there was places where it's like, yeah, you can't come into work.
If you're working as a nurse or something like that, you have to have it.
I think we had that too for nurses. For a while anyway.
I guess America, if you had
a government contract,
the government had the ability to ask
you to be vaccinated or they thought
they did. That was enforced
for a little while. If I
have my story right, they lost that court
case and it became not enforced
because if you have a
hospital, you basically work for the government. okay if you have a hospital you basically work
for the government like you can't have a hospital and not take medicare or medicaid so they were
able to sort of say you're a government contractor and then they lost i think it seems like it's kind
of now all this stuff's kind of like fading now uh yeah is that not the feeling in australia that
is like uh yeah you'll no longer they'll no longer ask for vaccination proof jobs and stuff like that but i think that they've gotten to the point where like
80 or 90 percent of the population is vaccinated anyway and they're just like yeah okay it's done
um let's just move on anymore like for example this vaccination lasts about a year
yeah so that's the thing like when the vaccine was coming out it was like this is less than
100 immunity and
you'll never get it again and then they're like now you have to take a booster and then they're
like now you're gonna have to get a third booster and it's like are we because it feels like we you
got told that it was just like one and done and then they're just like no you need more i think
it's more like a flu shot where you need an annual booster. Yeah. Taylor seemed to just hint that it was more than annual.
I thought it was.
Was it six months?
I thought it was some period of months.
I hadn't heard the year figure before.
I could be wrong.
I don't know.
I could be wrong, too.
I'm not very confident in that.
But then I heard someone say, like, what is vaccinated?
Vaccinated means you're not eligible for a booster.
Like, ooh, well, by that definition, a lot of people are unvaccinated again.
Yeah. Yeah. for a booster like oh well by that definition a lot of people are unvaccinated again yeah yeah that would be like like pretty soon the majority again or whatever yeah it's just a time march
right yeah so i don't know i'm happy to be boosted i i feel good that i went to mexico
travel and flight internationally twice and didn't get sick like that's nice but who knows you wear did you wear
a mask when you float did you yeah i actually got a good mask so the truth is i wear a cloth mask a
lot and sometimes i have a mask yeah i don't know but for the flight i was like and for most of the
mexico trip i had like a good m95 tight-fitting mask yeah i think i'd wear one if i traveled and not because even if even if it
wasn't mandated i'm sort of like i haven't been sick for so long because i haven't traveled and
stuff like that i used to get sick when i traveled a lot and now i'm like i look at it and i'm like
even once it's gone i think i'm just gonna wear one when i travel anyway because it's like i
fucking hate getting sick on airplanes it's kind of nice that masks have become culturally acceptable.
Like, yeah, if you wore a mask a few years ago, you were a serious weirdo.
I read an article on Southwest Airlines on Southwest.
You sit anywhere you want.
I think that's how it works.
It is kind of having a party.
And who gets to choose first?
This guy would wear a mask on the plane as if there was any empty seat it would be
next to him because he was a fucking weirdo wearing a mask yeah you see somebody wearing a mask like
what does he have i mean you say the only thing you say to wear like a mask normally it's like
chinese people you see them and you're like oh yeah that like it's all asian yeah yeah
yeah that's normal for asian people to wear a mask but white
people it was weird and not get sick on a plane like i think that'll be a viable cultural option
for a long time yeah it's uh that's one of the places it's still required everywhere here last
time i flew it was like like they still require masks on planes i'm in missouri so it's different
but like the flights are all the same everywhere because airports but like you like walking around grocery stores here like not many like none of the
places say like wear a mask anymore the people inside aren't wearing masks for the most part
i think we i think we still wear masks when every time we go indoors anywhere to like like
public places so if you go to the supermarket and stuff like that so for here if it's a big store
you wear a mask so like i want to say the walmart's definitely the grocery stores in my area
you would wear a mask uh but like the quickie mart at the gas station a lot of people won't mask for
that you know various mom and pop stores that's how it started here is like the gas stations were
like none at all nobody cared
and then like the grocery stores followed that and for quite a while here it's been
most very few like for it's almost the opposite here like like if it's a little mom and pop place
that still wants people to wear masks it'll be like please wear a mask when you're in here and
it's like okay whatever i don't care but most places don't have a sign or anything where do you keep your mask like in your pocket like a key
or is it in your truck i have like a pack of those like uh what not the really good ones like the
the ones that are like they're they're better than cloth but they're they're shittier than
like the good one and i have i just a giant sleeve of those in my closet and i just leave it there
so that i don't lose them. Because I initially, like when
this all started, I'm like, this will be my fucking
COVID mask. And then it was like,
lose it, lose it, lose it.
Okay, I'm just going to buy a giant thing and they're
all right there and I don't fucking touch them until I'm
about to walk out the door.
That's what I do. I always, I have a new
front door and then I just walk out and grab another
one or I have like fucking millions
of them in my car now. I have like three those things gonna gonna take forever to decompose
because that's the number one kind of litter i see now it's absurd it's like they they're
beating their shit out of cigarette smokers dude and it looks terrible like a trampled mask in a
gutter like uh is that what herb is called a gutter yeah it looks terrible it's it's
it's one of the ugliest pieces of trash around you got like you know there's like other people's
face germs in there and then there's other guys like whatever he had it's on the verge of like
oh it's definitely medical waste so it's like it's like it's the next thing i say gonna be a
aids ridden syringe like is there to be a human hand after this?
I was at a stopover on my way home from Mexico
at like Dulles, Texas.
You know, that's Fort Worth, that real popular port.
And in the, what is the VIP section called?
Like the Admiral's Club or whatever.
So I'm in there and i'm i'm like ready
to chill and they have these nice chairs like lounge chairs with tvs that swing in front of
you and i'm like this is where i'm fucking going and there's only one other person in there when
he he's about to sneeze and he takes off his mask he's like ah and he puts his mask back on
motherfucker i'm not going in that room like that's the fucking
opposite of what i want like this guy's gonna really like my move where i fucking fuck with
a condom and then take it off and jizz in her
why would you do that why would you even bother wearing a mask if you're
i understand that impulse because i've been in
public wearing the mask and i'm about to sneeze and your thought like just like that top of mind
like reptile brain is like get this off your face or it's gonna get gross and you're like oh no way
this is i don't want to do that that's why this is here i do that a hold in my sneeze move you know
when i have a mask on oh yeah well i was told
in first grade that that that could pop your eyes out and so i've all i was always afraid
all right well i've been doing it for quite some time that hasn't happened yet but is it like bad
for you is it bad manners i don't know i i feel like when i can't sneeze if i'm in an environment
where sneezing would be bad maybe maybe I'm surrounding by people.
That's my move.
But I also feel like I wasn't supposed to.
I watched a video of a guy and he's like, if you feel like you're about to sneeze, take your finger and push into like that part of your nose, like right there underneath, like push in on your lip, essentially.
And I did that and it seems to work.
Interesting.
actually. And I did that and it seems to work.
Interesting.
Is that like a psychological thing where they're like,
oh, when you get the hiccups, you want to put the
spoon in the water and drink it upside
down? Have you seen people do that?
Yeah.
The only thing I can figure out that
actually helps with the hiccups is nothing
consistently, but holding your breath.
That's the only thing that seems to actually
help. That doesn't even work for me. Sometimes I get hiccups that last for like an hour and it's like do you want to know
how to actually uh fix them i'll hear it i would love really fun okay the hiccups is caused by the
vagus nerve which is uh joined in three places and one's at the bottom it's like a sphincter muscle
one's at the bottom of your stomach and the other one's your arsehole so anal stimulation is apparently i feel like i'm being pranked i'm in
hey don't over don't oversell
to cure hiccups exactly do you need need a dildo, a finger,
or just rub the outside?
Yeah.
Is this what you guys want to know?
A digital rectal massage would lead to
increased vagal nerve tone
and potential termination of hiccups.
What the fuck?
That's on my asshole.
Yeah, it's a termination of
intractable hiccups with a digital
rectal massage. I need more details on a digital rectal massage so i think more details on a digital rectal massage
that's how you get big guys how many knuckles do you get on the aisle
as many as it takes so the hiccups go away i bet yeah you know this isn't getting rid of
this window this is just traumatizing you this is like when i just are you sure you're not like
did you search like what to do if a dog bites somebody and it won't let go?
Because I think it's...
Same thing.
This is what you do if your dog has...
Same thing.
I refuse.
This is an actual piper.
This is a published piper.
What is this website?
NIH.gov?
Oh, the National Library
of Medicine? Why is that NIH?
I have no idea.
It very clearly says... National Institute of Health.
Okay.
I made that up.
It sounds right, Kyle. That's what I would have
guessed. A 60-year-old man with
acute pancreatitis developed persistent
hiccups after insertion of a
nasogastric tube.
Removing it didn't cure it.
Digital rectal massage was then performed,
resulting in abrupt cessation of hiccups.
How did they know?
You know what?
This is literally just scaring it out of someone.
Removal of the tube didn't do it.
Several different drugs didn't do it.
Several maneuvers were attempted with no success.
And then they tried digital rectal massage,
abrupt cessation of hiccups.
Say no more.
I'm in.
I'm in.
I'm sold.
I'll try this.
Next time you get the hiccups,
I'm going to finger my ass.
Next time I have hiccups,
I'm calling switch.
I'm going to be like,
bro,
I need a handy.
A hand. That was a flip. time i have hiccups i'm calling switch i'm gonna be like bro i need a handy a hand that was dude that's that's a really interesting idea to to who thought of that what a unique approach
i guess i just imagine the guy running this probably at a basey what how do we yeah he's
just like i'm stopping every other problem
you know you know what would be funny you know it'd be hilarious is if this guy has a hundred
other papers like solving obesity with digital rectal massage solving heart disease with digital
rectal fingering guys asses for years do I have to salute you
pre-diabetic
vinyl fingering
this is the answer to everything
I found quadriplegics
allow me to do it most
you know how when
we had that thing with North Korea that somehow
Dennis Rodman ended up being a bit of a statesman
and getting involved and maybe even helping
what celebrity would you think
could help with the current situation fps russia all right well that's we're not leaning into that
that's just silly that's a good choice you know what you just be against louis ck you had to be
for something better louis ck okay oh why is that guy that got called the machine by the uh by the russian guys and he stand up you get the machine
over there b yeah it's not burt kreischer is that right yeah yeah yeah the machine
can they go over there just helpless i love it has to be an american celebrity that we think
could be influential to putin so he hangs out with steven scull a lot right or steven seagal
knows putin he hangs out in russia or something yes i've seen that i've seen steven Seagal a lot, right? Or Steven Seagal knows Putin, he hangs out in Russia or something? Yes, I've seen that. I've seen
Steven Seagal and Vladimir Putin in the same room.
Yeah, and like Steven Seagal's dressed like
a monk. What about Conor McGregor?
He's not American,
but Conor McGregor's spotted Putin.
Is that required? American? Oh, I thought I was
imposing my own rules, I guess. Yeah.
Conor McGregor's too frank. We could see
if Ovechkin would go over there
and say, can you stop this?
Well, Louis C.K.'s already there. That's why I brought it up.
Apparently he found a club
that would take him in Kiev.
They didn't have anybody and nobody else would show up.
Click that link. I'm not even kidding.
Click that link.
Can you make this up?
He's going to perform despite the invasion?
Oh my God.
Healing the load with comedy.
That's awesome.
Louis C.K. show in Kiev has not been canceled like Louis C.K. has.
Tickets remain valid for the next few days and do not require an exchange.
Don't you just love that unbeknownst to us, Louis C.K.'s stand-up
career has continued in Eastern
Europe?
I don't speak English.
I think he's been playing places here
for a while, like doing clubs or something.
I didn't know that.
That's not as funny if it's true, but I like the idea
of him having to find
borderline, non-first
world countries to go do his bits in where they maybe haven't heard about his shenanigans.
I haven't started canceling people yet.
What's with you guys and potatoes for every meal?
You know, just article you link the New York Post is such a trash rag.
The New York Post is such a trash rag.
Sean Penn, 61,
looked combat cool in sunglasses and a beige bomber jacket as he sat
in first row at a press briefing
held by Ukrainian President
Vladimir Zelensky on Thursday.
I like that. Really?
He painted a fucking picture for me.
I'm there, Woody. I'm there
next to Zelensky now. Touche.
Okay, I take it back. It's me, Sean Penn
and Zelensky in the room now. Wait, I take it back. It's me, Sean Penn, and Zelensky in the room now.
Wait, Sean Penn painted you a picture?
No.
He's the same.
He's got that cool sunglasses and a beige bomber jacket.
Oh, my God.
I like the nickname now.
I know what Sean Penn looks like.
All weird and like an old guy.
Sean Penn is aged.
What did Louis C.K. do to get canceled? All right, so Louis louis ck is one of the ones that i don't care
for because louis ck would agree ask you for permission to masturbate in front of you and if
you gave permission he would then proceed to do so if you did not give permission he would say oh
shit well all right sorry about that but that was awkward for you you have no idea how awkward this
is for me you can like imagine that coming out of his mouth.
You know he said it.
You know he asked somebody once, and they were like, absolutely not.
He's like, you think you feel awkward now?
Oh, man.
You could have just said yes,
and we could have just avoided this whole awkward conversation.
I bet you feel full of shit.
I'd be cleaning up right about now.
You know? So that's what he would do. I bet you feel foolish. I'd be cleaning up right about now.
You know?
So that's what he would do.
I've heard from Sarah Silverman said something like,
yeah, it was hilarious. He asked if he could jerk off
and he did.
He blew all
over the place. It was hilarious.
At the time that was happening,
the Weinstein stuff was happening
also.
And so these fucking dickhead journalists would be like,
Weinstein and Louis C.K.
And it's like, don't fucking act like what they did is even vaguely similar.
At least beyond.
That's fucked up.
He asked.
Look, I don't know how you get laid as a young man these days. If asking for permission before the sexual act and then doing whatever you're told from there,
like going off of her cues, is not okay.
Just real quick, did Weinman ask?
Did he not ask?
I don't know.
He told.
Or did he offer jobs?
Yeah, Weinstein, thank you.
Weinstein did a mixture of things there were
women that said that he like forcibly held them down and did things but then there were also women
who said you know um it would just be very inappropriate and it would always borderline
on like an actual like rape but but not quite there and then some of them were like coerced
into having sex with him that they didn't want to have and that's it's a whole other uh group of offenses so it was everything it ran the gamut
with him whereas louis ck again asked for permission to jerk off in front of chicks
it was his thing and if they said yeah then like that must have been the best day ever for him
and then aziz i'm sorry of course he got lumped in as well and aziz had sex with a. And then the next day she decided she didn't have good sex and called that like some sort of assault rape type thing.
Small correction.
She blew him.
Oh, that's even better.
Oh, yeah.
She decided that she didn't enjoy sucking Aziz's dick the next day.
And look, that's believable.
But Aziz, he was surprised.
His take on it was like
oh no i thought that was a good date like when she made out with me and then when she went down
on me like i i thought this was going really well it turns out that it wasn't it turns out that you
know they didn't like it but well she it turns out she didn't like it the next day look yeah it sounded like that she lived in
like the um the same universe as tenant where like she she liked it when she was doing it but
but she completely changed her mind the next day and then they made that some sort of like
they tried to like cancel the guy you know i think it fucked with his netflix show and some other
stuff and i'm not saying you're right i remember him like like that
happened to him very briefly and the whole world was like no not this one not this one that's but
but i know we're doing stuff so good um yeah yeah a few of those were nonsense it was it was
you remember uh that what was it the emmys golden globes where uh ricky gervais was like
ripping into like all the celebrities and
everything he's said uh our next presenter starred in netflix's bird box a movie where people survive
by acting like they don't see a thing sort of like working for harvey weinstein after hearing
gasps from the crowd filled with numerous people who have worked for the producer he added you did
it you did it i didn't you did it and it was like and he's never getting invited back and
i was like yeah that's awesome good yeah that's great fuck you and all these people just clutching
their pearls this has been happening and then giving an interview of oh yes we've all known
since about uh 1982 no fuck those people the way those awards i if i had any say first of all i
don't watch the shit anyway because it's garbage TV. We're going to throw a party for ourselves
where we congratulate ourselves and give each other
awards.
Do you guys want to watch? Look what I wore!
You know, it's just like,
I hate you people so much.
But if I were going to watch, it would be for Ricky Gervais
or Gervais, whichever it is.
And I wish
that there was some sort of like fucking
petition or something
i could sign that said i wouldn't watch unless he was hosting i wish that it would get so big
that they just couldn't have it without ricky gervais and then he would get up there and he
would start pointing out how many cowards refused to show because he was there and start going
through their offenses because those people cannot stand up to questioning uh that would be great if
he did that so many i hate those people so much and and it really showed when he was up there telling the
truth about like how they had been essentially party to sexual assault for generations and they
all acted like they were shocked oh my just like those guys who can't talk about a smelly pussy
you're just looking like clutching your pearls over there. Didn't he say that shit before?
It was just the same thing.
I bring Wings back into all this.
Wing, Harvey Weinstein, same bruh.
Didn't he do that before all that Weinstein shit came out,
or was it after?
Wings?
It was after.
No, no.
He's been at this for a while. There heaps of there was heaps of like clips
going around of people joking about harvey weinstein raping women and like this was before
it all came out heaps of people had made jokes about it in the past and they were just like
hey it's um that's what courtney love courtney yeah she made that comment yeah she's like i'm not gonna say anything about anything but uh if harvey weinstein invites you
to your hotel room after a party say no yeah i just saw that when i was looking up ricky gervais
that was a 2005 thing like yeah everybody knew about this everyone knew and and like and even
now you can tell how much of cowards a lot of them are,
because even when it was like the whole me too thing was going like,
like a lot of them seem to act like that Weinstein guy,
we got him mission accomplished.
And it's like,
no,
no,
no.
This is an endemic thing happening in Hollywood where procedure for
producers are holding rolls over people's heads for sexual favors and
coercing people and
abusing them.
The real epidemic
is girls
using their sexual appeal to get
jobs.
I wish that the
ugly actors of America
would get together and form
their own group where they're like...
Steve Buscemi at the front.
Steve Buscemi and their own group where they're like steve bishami at the front steve bishami and fucking uh who's that redhead guy from all the 80s movies
ron howard's brother clint howard yeah yeah the ugliest man in america ugliest man in america
clint howard and and uh maybe there's there's a few more there's got to be a dude from that
movie you recommended earlier yeah that guy's not attractive. But those people
were literally fucked
out of their roles by
prettier people who were less
talented, even if the role didn't necessarily
require the prettiest person. I love when
Sandra Bullock gets a role. If you read between the lines,
this is the true story of how Taylor took
Wings' job.
It's because I took it up
the ass. I deserve this gig.
He sucked what he wants.
Thanks, Dick.
Taylor didn't take it up the ass.
I don't work on my glutes for nothing.
Woody surprised me because he got me in the hotel room
and then he presented.
And then Kyle was in the corner. He's still allowed to have
guns at the time, so I'm terrified.
I'm like that one hillbilly in Deliverance
just rubbing the shotgun.
Which way is what his asshole?
Back the way you came?
Do you know how they achieve the banjo scene in Deliverance?
Achieve it?
I didn't know.
What do you mean achieve?
Because they don't really play it?
Because retarded children can't play the banjo like an expert. Oh, that scene. I don't know how they did that.
Okay. Oh, well, look into that little feller, Zach.
Zach, can you pull up the retarded banjo kid's picture and just point out that both of these
individuals thought that he was actually playing at a banjo?
I was going to deny it, but I did think he was playing the banjo.
Deliverance.
Deliverance banjo kid.
So what they do is they put the kid in a little jacket,
I think, or something of the sort.
And then they got like a banjo expert
reaching through the fucking sleeves
and playing a banjo in front of this kid's face.
That's why he looks so retarded.
Someone's playing a banjo magically in front of him and he's like
Yeah, that was an actual retarded
person. Looking back
Did the other guy play the
They thought this guy was an expert
banjo player. He plays that
thing like no other
I mean it's just like
Those don't look like grown up banjo player. He plays that thing like no other. I mean, it's just like...
Those don't look like grown-up hands.
They kind of fit, you know?
I am with Taylor on this.
It would be funny if they were like big mitts.
They're black.
Taylor, what size gloves do you wear?
I bet your hands are huge.
Usually just the XL Like the stretchy XL ones
I like them very very tight though
And they don't fit
Here I had a friend in high school
My friend we called him Jaws
He was a shorter guy
Like I don't know maybe 5'6
Something like that like not uncommonly short
But shorter than me and my other friends.
And he bought size 11 and a half shoes.
He didn't have a size 11 and a half foot.
I think he just bought clown shoes because he liked to have like,
like he liked to cosplay as a bigger man.
So he wore these size 11 and a half shoes and flopped around.
He's wearing daddy's clothes.
And we used to tease
him about that all the time. We're like,
dude, what? Just buy shoes.
You knew.
Once you found out, that's like
that's like
you got lips in your shoes, right?
Whenever I did film a thing with Richard Ryan,
I'd always wear my big boy boots.
I can't. Richard Ryan's like an inch taller than me. Easy. And if I don't wear with Richard Ryan, I'd always wear my big boy boots.
Richard Ryan's like an inch taller than me, easy.
If I don't wear the right shoes, I usually filmed in sneakers
when I did that FBS Russian shit. I don't wear fucking combat
boots, but he's wearing workman
boots because he's a workman. I'm just like,
oh my God, you're like two and a half inches taller
than me with workman boots. I had to get
my crazy big boy boots, throw an extra pair of socks,
then get on my tippy toes. I'm not letting Richard Ryan
be taller than me on that. Are you kidding me? like my crazy big boy boots, throw an extra pair of socks, then get on my tippy toes. I'm not letting Richard Ryan.
So we teased him so relentlessly about his big clown shoes that now I'm sensitive like 40,
not 40 years later,
but 30 years later about having done the same thing.
And I,
I sometimes like I buy large gloves.
I'm like,
what,
what do you just buy fucking gloves that fit your extra large hands?
Like,
what is wrong with you? But I'll be like, I'm a 10 and a half. I'm like, Woody, just buy fucking gloves that fit your extra large hands. What is wrong with you?
I'm a 10 and a half.
How do you buy bigger gloves?
You go in the double XL gloves?
Yeah. I belong in
XL, but I sometimes, even recently,
like last year, I bought larges.
I'm not a large. They're XL. They don't fit
me. They hurt my pinky. It takes your hands
to push them in. I don't like any
looseness in my gloves
like i like it to be very tight like so i feel like i'm actually like getting the same tactile
response i really like my uh pokemon trainer gloves i wear um you know with the wrist strap
and everything gotta catch them all yeah kyle you are a moody i was like i'll go ahead uh i think
those are extra large but like the largest definitely don't work. My motorcycle gloves are extra large, but I feel like I want extra large.5.
I want to go a little bit bigger because still, with my motorcycle gloves, I feel like I can't.
I don't know.
They're a little bit too small.
Just a little.
If you go up on them, you feel like you're laughing around.
I'm not getting a good purchase
and then it's like it's like fuck this ain't even on you got that uh got those little flappy
bits at the end and you're constantly pulling the glove down and i know it's like buying a
regular size condom am i right it sucks
like that impractical jokers where they're like,
Murr has to go sit next to a woman
and they're telling him questions to ask.
And they're like, ask her, why are condoms always so baggy?
They're going to be like, why are condoms so baggy?
They're just always falling off.
And he's sitting there just like, oh, this is so embarrassing.
And the woman's like, i'm so sorry for you
a turning point in my life when i stopped buying large socks and like special like like found like
the link or whatever like the the area of the sock store that has like the 12 size 12 to 15
size 15 there we go those are so much but i was in like the 10 to 12 for the longest
time and then i went up one and i always i was every time every like three days or like every
like third use of those like 10 to 12 socks in my shoe the bottom sucking under my my heel and like
it's not even staying on my foot but the shoe thing you were talking about woody that guy
my my feet grew before the rest of me. Like it, my feet finished
growing by eighth grade. Like my feet got just dominated my growth. I wore size 13 when I was,
uh, in eighth grade. So I was 13, like 14 years old. And I was like, so self-conscious about it.
Like I would like sit with like my feet like further under the desk
because i didn't want people to make fun of my feet because like when you're a kid you like don't
you don't get it you know like you don't anything that's different is like i don't want to i don't
want to be noticed for that you know what i mean when you're not like at full size i looked i see
pictures of myself when i was in like seventhth and 8th grade. I look like an asshole with like my feet are enormous
compared to my not-grown-yet body.
Like a hobbit.
You were a hobbit.
Yeah.
Have you seen the episode of...
You've seen the South Park?
I just look like a fucking lollipop.
That she's a hobbit.
I have not.
You haven't seen it? I always just had a massive
head so when I grew up like my body
didn't I didn't
grow like I was still skinny in like
high school but I just had a giant like
man sized head
like a lollipop
you have a big head
like a fucking huge head
I wonder if you have the bigger noggin
I think Slush might have me beat
This might be the new head honcho
The new head honcho
You know this is a crown
I want to pass off
You're going to need one of those measuring things
that goes around
Slush Puppy and I are the kids at Burger King
who took two crowns
and had to cinch them a little tighter
Like Christmas hats
and shit like that? None of that goes in my head.
Not happening.
I can't get that shit on my head.
I don't look good in hats either.
I can't even wear a flex
fit hat. I can't wear a flex fit hat.
You need a cowboy hat.
I think I need a bigger one.
Do I wear
those 5150 hats?
It says eight and a half.
Oh,
not really.
That would be absurd.
But I am not a hat person.
No,
neither.
If you wear a hat all the time,
people assume you're bald.
Hmm.
Yeah.
I have a theory that people that wear even more even more make you go bald i think so that
could be true too a little bit of friction like all the hat guys that i'm going it can't be great
right like like always up there i can't remember i can't remember what streamer it was but like
there was some streamer that like took his and like leaned and it was like a huge bald spot oh
he was like like he didn't know he didn't know he didn't know it i can't remember who it was but
his chat was like yeah you're bald he's like what the fuck are you talking about i'm bald like look
at this look at this he's like you know what do you mean under the headset he goes and like leans
down and it's just a streak of bald like a skunk and he just goes oh he didn't know oh that's gotta be i think it was uh i think it was the song that did that
yeah it's like yeah that's far yeah i saw a landmark switch to those uh crazy expensive
earbuds yeah i'll get a pair of those on the way actually i uh these are my these are my
ear impressions they look like chewed up bubble gum oh i went and got uh they take your impressions and then they custom mold yeah like a silicon they put into your ear
hole and then you um then you send them off and they custom made mold you earphones the same
company that i did them for landmark sent me an email and they're like well i make you some
and so i'm gonna send off these ear impressions and get a set of those but apparently they're amazing but extremely expensive but yeah like 1200 is entry level
like that's the cheapest that's crazy so i saw so back at shot show in like 2012 maybe i ran into
some people that were making those as ear protection like active ear pro you know it's
reacting to gunshots and such like just like a taco but you know they did the same thing they
would take a mold of your ear and they and he was showing to me and then all they do all sorts of
colors and they could make it all wacky if you wanted but it was like this perfectly molded in
the ear um active ear pro and i i thought it was super cool but i think they were really expensive
like close to what you're talking about i like have $800 in my head, but it could have been more.
I just remember being like, yeah, if you give me some, I'll wear them.
I've only ever seen people get like custom-molded.
They essentially just end up looking like this,
but they're custom-molded like earplugs for people that work around
like super loud machinery and stuff like that.
But I've never i've never
seen actual molded headphones before and so i need to try them yeah i've never had um earbuds
of any kind that don't cause like real ear pain after 10-15 minutes like like every time i'm on
a flight i just bring a headset now because those i'd get off and i'd be like rubbing the inside of
my ear my thumb like god that fucking aches that hurts so fucking much it's like uh if you ever play football and like
like that first day of getting used to a new helmet like it's just crushing your skull like
it's just awful i hate wearing earbuds but something like that i could get down with but
not so yeah that's what i was worried about because like i i used to wear in inner ears when
i worked as a software engineer
and i'd keep i'd have them in my ear all day and then i started getting um ear infections because
it was just like so many like so much time spent with them like eight hours a day it was obviously
like i'm sweating inside there and then i'm like it's like it's back a lot of bacteria and stuff
in there that's like you start yeah i started getting ear infections and so i switched to
headphones but i'm hoping these uh i'm hoping these are better like more breathable because they
look like that they've got like an open sound stage like they're open back so like get a bit
of air and stuff yeah i notice he touches them a lot you know like to really seat them well um
landmark uses the they're called duo ones so they're not the custom molded ones they're just
like the same as normal ones but they're not the custom molded ones they're just like the same
as normal ones but they're really expensive like drivers and like high quality sound um he does i
don't think he uses these custom ones on stream i was talking to him about it the other day and
he said he uh prefers the duos because they're more open back for streaming but he does use the
other ones for other stuff yeah yeah but i'm gonna get the custom ones and
try those and see what they're like yeah he's the only one i've ever seen that like rock those and
um you know i watch him a good bit but shit that is expensive i'd be so afraid of like i don't know
i can't step on this and break them but like i guess you're gonna treat them like what they are
like like all right he's back yeah i can protect you gonna be really careful i'll probably just
i hang my headset off
my microphone um so like if i get up and it's on my head it just falls and then hangs so it's like
i'll probably do the same thing yeah i hope they work out well they must be good because he uses
them someone was like yeah but they pay him and i'm like he makes enough money that he wouldn't
use a headset you didn't like like i always say that about like uh
sponsorships and they're like oh they're paying you a copy realist it's like i wouldn't choose
to be sponsored by someone that i don't like because i wouldn't want to push the product
and i wouldn't care about it and like i have enough money to not give a fuck so it's like
why would you bother why would i waste my time yeah yeah i'm like oh so you think that landmark
is using a headset that that he doesn't like and doesn't work very well for the amount of guys like paying him obviously a millionaire
he had way more money than me and he's killing it i earned more than enough to not care about that
so yeah it's absurd uh he likes that headset and if he could if there was something better that
would give him any edge over it he'd use that instead but yeah that's not like uh these ones
like the i've been trying to get sponsored by bay dynamic for ages they just they're not interested in it and okay i've been
set so many gaming headsets and i use them i'm like these are shit and i'll get offers for like
multiple thousands of dollars a month just to wear a headset and i just i'm like nah i know
they're just so shit i couldn't i can't in good conscience recommend
these to people and be like these are better than my biodynamics i don't i don't have any experience
with like multiple headsets i've never sat there and worn more than one at a time i just pick them
and buy them but yeah i can hear so well in tarkov with these like like better than my than anybody
else i play with i'll be like stop moving. What have you got? The AX,
the A50Xs or whatever.
They're really good, yeah.
I'm
always the one that hears people in Tarkov.
I'm the ultimate sound whore.
Which is probably because I don't have any way of
like, I know a lot of people put
I can't think of what you call it, but like a limiter
so they don't blow out their ears.
Compression. It just gets loud for me like if you have a high quality headphone though that doesn't matter because what high quality headphones like if
you have like shit drivers when it gets loud it becomes really uncomfortable because it's just
like synthetic fucked noise that's like mixing together but if you have a high quality drivers
when it gets loud it's not as uncomfortable so you can crank it up quite loud and before it becomes a garbled mess i play really
loud if i'm playing any kind of shooter where hearing steps matters um yeah 100 otherwise i
don't you know i don't really mind so much the only game i've seen recently that i'm really
excited for um um what's that game the uh the warhammer 40k uh game that's coming out the the something tied uh
total war oh uh vermin tied not vermin tied but it's the it's the sequel to vermin tied the 40k
dark tide dark tide that's what it is i'm excited for that but then i saw some people some some
gameplay from elden ring yesterday and i had just downloaded that today that looks so cool i was
just looking at that earlier today i wrote it down to talk about it looks like Skyrim
it looks sick I want to get it
do you guys ever played Dark Souls
before? Popular and just got
second on Steam like all time
yeah
have you guys ever played Dark Souls before?
no but I'm aware it's a Dark Souls like game
yeah
the combat is very similar
I haven't played it yet
i uh i got my press copy last night and didn't even realize i could play it and so i i got on
this morning and started that up and it's really fucking good i watched the reviews are 10 out of
10 exactly that was gonna say the reviews i'll say 10 out of 10. I watched the review yet today, I think. And this guy's like,
look, 10 out of 10 doesn't do it.
Okay?
This is just the best
game that's ever been made.
He's like,
I'm only going to show you a fraction
of what there is to see, and it's more
than I have time to show you.
He's like, the worlds are so big, the combat is so
incredible. Just every fast of the combat is so incredible like just every
fast of the game he was like he would stop me like they didn't have to do this they didn't have to
but they did he's like look right here look randomly a cave guess what it's an enormous
cave it goes on for miles it's hidden back here behind the like a shed in the mountains there's
no reason to even be here you It's just like, he was
really stuck in this game's dick, and it
didn't seem like he needed to suck it that hard.
George R.R. Martin is involved in it.
Did you see that?
Yeah, but that's in the fantasy world.
All that means to me is...
Shit rodder in a cellar.
It means he needed a paycheck
to be on there as a consultant.
Fuck that guy.
I hope bad things happen now.
So Lost Ark is the game I'm talking about.
It's incredibly popular.
It's the second most popular on Steam ever,
and it beat Counter-Strike, I think.
It's a call?
Oh, yeah, that Lost Ark is...
A lot of people are addicted to that at the moment.
So I haven't played it yet,
but apparently it's quite good.
It beat out Dota 2. It beat out
Counter-Strike Global Offensive.
I'm trying to figure out what got first. The most popular
game ever. It's way ahead of
even second place.
It doesn't seem to be in this article.
What kind of game is it?
It is a RPG.
Oh, okay.
Interesting.
Action RPG.
I'm watching my friend just here. He's really. Interesting. Action RPG. I'm watching my friend
just here, and he's really into the
Dark Souls games, and he was
really pumped to play Elden Ring. He's
like, I can get it on PC,
but it releases 10 hours later.
But he's like, I'm going to get it on console instead
so I can start playing it at midnight.
And he's been live
for 19 and a half hours he's been
playing it for straight. Is he going to lose his progress or stay on console? I think he's going live for 19 and a half hours. He's been playing it for straight.
Is he going to lose his progress or stay on console?
I think he's going to finish it on console
and then most likely finish it on PC.
When's the release date for S. Peasants?
It's already out.
It's out now.
It was 10 a.m. this morning for me,
which is four hours ago.
I might look into it because it looks pretty fucking cool.
Actually, I fired it up this morning just before joining the podcast
because I misread the time and I got up really early.
And so I was like, oh, I'll just fire it up this morning while I'm waiting for you guys.
And I've enjoyed it.
It's the start of it.
It looks like for us, the midnight release is tonight.
I might get it.
I might get it tonight. Check it out. Dude, it looks so good. It looks like for us, the midnight release is tonight. I might get it. I might get it tonight. Check it out.
It looks so good. It looks awesome.
It looks a lot
like Skyrim. I need to look into it a little bit more.
Is it RPG-esque? Is my magic
going to keep getting better?
I'm going to find
better and better swords.
There's also
the combat's more skill-based.
I saw that. I liked that.
It's a lot more. combat's more skill-based than uh i saw that i like that yeah it's a lot more it's it's more about like like dark souls you can you can finish the game at level one with
your fists if you're skillful enough and you can dodge enough attacks to be able to do one damage
to this end boss if you're really good at the game but like it does have the rpg elements where
you level up and stuff like that but it's also about becoming like proficient at the combat and learning the weapon style that you choose and stuff like
that so it's it's half and half like in between like a good fighting game the review that i watched
talked about how they made the combat much more complex and varied by making it more rewarding
to do moves that weren't as popular i guess guess like heavy attacks weren't popular, but now heavy
attacks like break an enemy stance so
that you can then do some sort of execution
move or something. So now that's going to be in your
toolbox where it normally wasn't. The way he
described it is before, you could just use
the quick attack over and over, like
slash, slash, slash, slash, and just kind of go through
most of the enemies. And now it
was going to be a lot more complex and
complicated and fun yeah
and the horse combat looks so slick i saw good he's on a horse with like a big sickle or something
and he's being chased by three bears each of which are the size of an elephant and and when
they chase him they like hit trees that fall out of the ground like the i saw a dragon blow fire
at him and all the trees burnt and turned to crisp and fell over.
It was it's a it's a really slick looking game.
I had no idea.
Yeah.
Enemies are way tougher.
Like I'm watching just a stream of Ludwig playing it on YouTube just to see it was the main one suggested.
And I just happened to pull it up while he was fighting some giant like Templar knight.
And like I've never seen a bad guy in skyrim do like side dodge rolls and
stuff like that and like try and get behind you and it fucking killed him it smoked him
he was not prepared for what that guy was bringing to the table there's enemies in there that are
like uh they're meant to be like spirits and they're they're essentially the player character
but then they have like different kinds of armor and different builds and when you summon those
like i've i've had times where i was playing dark souls 3 where i've
summoned one i'm not the best like i don't know that much about the game i'll be fighting one
and i thought it was actually pvp because i'm like this guy's fucking my shit up and then
everyone's like that's ai man you're just shit and i'm like they're like they're like trolling
me and like rolling away from all my attacks and stuff and i'm just getting
so that's an aspect of the game i'm curious about because i i i only know like tangentially that
you can do that sort of thing because i know that like wings would play that dark souls game
and he'd sort of like throw out an open challenge that i guess you can like
raid his single player game and you can portray like one of his bosses or bad guys or
something and so like if you have it so it's like on you can have you can summon people to either
help you or to uh people can invade your world so they'll just like spawn inside your world as
like a essentially a shade like ghosts like they'll be glowing like red and then you just
fight this dude it's like a
similar level to you and in that location you just be fighting like monsters and then someone will
invade your world this outworked in dark souls 3 and then you'll just have this bloke running
around who you're going to deal with or you can summon your mate and he can come and do the same
thing but help you kill bosses and stuff like that so i wonder if that's it do you know if that's an aspect of this uh elden ring game i believe it is yeah yeah that's really cool
yeah i think there may be an issue with the pc multiplayer at the moment because they discovered
like a remote code execution bug and they're trying to fix it on the service so the multiplayer
service it's a pc yet so it it's also a beautiful game like just watching like him
ride around on that horse and like the sky is some sort of like fucking acid trip to begin with
like like i don't even know what that sky is i don't know what the background of this game is
like like what what universe this is or time period or what kind of magical nonsense is
happening but it looks fucking always the the story in them is always sort of like vague and you have to
sort of delve deep to understand
what's going on but they're
super super beautiful
like the level design and stuff is
fucking amazing yeah I'm probably gonna play
this looks hard as shit Ludwig has
died three times since we started talking
about this I bet he's had the difficulty on maximum
though no there's no
max difficulty
you just get fucked there's no max difficulty. You just get fucked.
Wait, there's no difficulty?
Well, there wasn't in the previous ones
and I'm pretty sure there's not in this one.
It's just you get fucked.
Come on, this game.
Taylor, ask him if there's difficulty.
Is there difficulty?
There's got to be a difficulty setting.
I don't think there is.
I don't think there is.
I don't think there is.
I've never heard of a game that didn't have one.
No, no.
Well, the idea is in the other ones that if you died,
you just have to get better.
And that was the draw of the game.
The Dark Souls games before don't have difficulty settings either.
No, no.
And the idea was if you can't beat the boss,
you just need to learn how to dodge its moves better
and block it and fight it.
This is a concept that I'm unfamiliar with because, I don know i play games like call of duty halo doom i guess you know like like all the rpgs that you can think of that are like triple a but like
i've never seen an elden string no matter how hard the players try and holy shit it doesn't
have a difficulty setting and ludwig's getting shit on right now three times in a row but yeah he's he may not he
may not be leveled up he may not be that's the thing okay that's fair and but it's like as i
said if you're good enough you can finish the game on level one yeah yeah previous yeah but i but i
i was i don't know what i was thinking of course is that an achievable level of good enough like
do people do that yeah there's there's runs where, like, people do speed runs of all three Dark Souls games
without getting hit once at level one.
And so they'll, like, just run the entire thing
without getting hit.
Okay, that makes a lot more sense for us.
I forgot for a second that it's going to be
this big sandbox open world thing
where, like, of course you could...
It's just like in Fallout New Vegas.
It was, like, turn left and go to, like,
Pram or something like that.
This happy little town
where you could get gear and free levels or make a right and head toward the death clause but i
always went toward the death clause like can we make it through past the death clause at level
four let's see it let's find out okay yeah yeah it was like i would kill that giant in skyrim
near white run yeah way before you were supposed to yeah you shoot him well i would assume that
like if you if
you are going into it the dark souls games are notoriously difficult i like hard games and i i
i uh i'll get into it like like the dodging mechanics is just going to be muscle memory
but i look forward to like a challenge um yeah i uh i'm really looking forward to that that uh
dark tide game though that's gonna be so much fun, because I like
games where I can co-op with two to
three friends or something like that.
You can co-op
this. You can co-op Elden Ring.
Really?
Yeah, four players.
Now, is it one of those things
where I could play with Taylor for an hour,
and then he could go to bed, and I could continue playing, and it wouldn't...
I think it just drops into your
world and it just joins you on your adventures and his character is just his character i'm
downloading tonight if you want to play uh i'm gonna play um and we could get i i'm sure i could
fill a lobby up with uh with other people who'll buy it i'm gonna tell everybody to buy it right
now yeah you need to go on i guess we have to wait till midnight right yeah damn
yeah you have to you have to find these things uh they're called like fingers and then you can
summon people into your world but in the previous games you could get fucking heaps of them and
they were pretty easy to find so it was like i finished the whole of dark souls 3 co-oping with
my brother using these summon items to summon him it was like this chalk thing and you like
throw in the ground and then
i just summoned my brother into my co-op game and then it had a bit of a weird thing where it's like
if he if i did the boss in my world and he helped me then he wouldn't have completed the boss in
his game so we'd like complete one area with my character and then he'd summon me into his world
and then we go back and do the the boss again in his world and then just like i mean it was a good it was it's such a good game that i didn't mind doing all the
bosses twice so no no no yeah i i feel that for sure um no i'm looking for a new game and like
everything else right now is like man that everything i've seen about halo makes me so
sick to my stomach it just doesn't look bad um i i'm correct me if i'm wrong like like because i just like go through
like memes and like word of mouth but like i think they introduced like a girl character with like
pink hair who's like like i'm already sick who like beats up master chief and like like jokes
about that he's he's shorter than he should be and then she like saves the day or something like that
it's pretty accurate don't's got a pink hair.
Such a justice butt?
I don't know. Maybe I'm completely wrong.
Take away the whole girl part and just be like they hire
anyone to come
in and make fun of Master Chief
and beat him up.
It's like, no, you can't do that.
I don't know what actually happens.
Again, I'm going off of memes and shit I read on Reddit uh i haven't played halo since halo 3 so it doesn't matter anyway
same with gears of war i don't understand how like that's go make a new thing if once you
complete the trilogy like go do another creative thing yeah and they just tried ride on their
previous achievements yeah those things were self-contained like there was no more it was done yeah yeah it was both times i love the gears trilogy did you hear that um call duty
is not coming out this year bullshit yeah yeah this is the first year in like forever that they're
skipping a year so there won't be a new one until 2023 sales have been dropping and people think
it's getting worse and i want to say in the previous year, they didn't do single player because they didn't have time
for it. Maybe there was a studio change.
There was a problem. Multiple studios
have been having two to three studios
collabing.
That's a clear sign
that maybe modern game development can't
be done every single fucking year
like that by any one studio.
Zach says they're not skipping this year. They're skipping next
year. Maybe I was confused. That's even better.
I like that even more.
I envision a scenario where they're like,
Raven, you make
it this year, but Treyarch,
you got two years. Get started.
Make me a masterpiece.
Zombies better be incredible.
Yeah.
It's not going to be
this is how software works
if you give a software development team
24 months to build
something they will build it
in the last two
it always happens
don't tell our secret
this is how I used to get
paid to do nothing
how do you think i became a streamer i used to just say i'm working from home every day
and then just finish it on the last day
it's not gonna make a better game to give them to you why not they're gonna spend a year and a
half talking about what they should make and then some time fucking around and then they'll quick put it together
you're probably right yeah well hopefully they don't do that um because like like you said like
i think they failed to make the last couple cods like on time and with all the features that they
initially wanted um i haven't really enjoyed a cod since blackout or whatever when we had uh i
think it was black
ops 4 maybe it's the one that had the first battle royale i thought that battle royale was sick um
they felt like there was a cod you kind of liked for a little while the multiplayer i played it a
bunch oh is that the one with those stupid overpowered shotgun that they had yeah i liked
i i liked playing like balance the guns but it but it seemed like I played that a good amount. That's how I got back into
streaming. Yeah, yeah. I think that
like... But, you know, I was playing that kind of
ironically, right? Because we
would just camp rooms and be assholes.
We didn't really want to play the game,
play the game. We mostly just
like... We mostly camped rooms.
It went back to shit we would do back
in Call of Duty 4 when we were super bored
after years of playing that game. We'd right how about this what if what if a team death
death match began you couldn't find the other team like so so we'd start a tdm up and like five of us
would jump on some glitch spot or something and one of us would like get a single kill and then
he'd run back and jump into and we'd hide we'd hide for the whole fucking game and it was just to be obnoxious like like you know there's a youtube
channel that was like the whole battlefield that's like all the battlefield was like that
when battlefield came out it was like what can we do to be annoying and it was just like
oh we found the most annoying vehicle let's all just jump in hovercrafts and just be fuckheads
and then that was it it was that was the game it was already within like two games we're just memeing and it was just all of us running cunts
over in a fucking hovercraft that such a shit game i remember the youtube channel he used to do
1v1s there was a 1v1 mode in call of duty and he would have the most clever hiding spots and your name popped up above you but he it's cage match access and uh yeah it was pretty neat like he'd find a spot to to lay down and you
wouldn't think of it right like it'd be true it wasn't just laying down in the tall grass it was
like glitching into a rock or something and it was a fun channel we would um yeah i played a lot of
cage match back in the day it It was one of my favorite things.
We would play game battles, 1v1s and 2v2s in Team Deathmatch.
Can you imagine how frustrating it is to play 2v2 Team Deathmatch hardcore on Call of Duty 5?
On a map like CeeLo or something?
One of those gigantic maps that's meant to have tanks on it me and socrates would like go get one or two kills and that that's one of those maps that's
like almost tarkov size like you can there's a field over there yeah way over there yeah let's
go get in it it's like how are they gonna find you just sniping super annoying super frustrating
that's like one of my favorite things to talk of though just find
like the most obnoxious spot ever like sitting on top of like a cabinet laying down and someone
comes up and and then you start wiping out the music like hey fuckhead hey hey fuckhead they're
just like what the fuck last time i played i was just i was just running too much gear on factory
that was kind of like the fun that I was having then.
If you run in there with an Alton and a fucking slick on,
like fuck on everybody.
Kyle, do you know how to get on top of the file cabinets in the office?
Yeah, you just hop up.
I didn't know there was a trick to it.
I thought you just hop up there.
No, you have to open the drawer,
and then before it closes all the way, hop on the drawer,
then hop on the top of the file cabinet.
Oh, back in the left corner. Okay. no yeah as you walk into your left yeah and uh on that spot okay here's what
happens you kill the first guy you've got a nice position of advantage you're shooting down at his
head he's not even expecting you to be there now you have a body now everyone else that walks in
is looking at the loot on the ground and you're standing on the file cabinet, a spot no one gets to. I have had
bodies piled up, you know, scabs and
players like six high.
It's like waist deep of
dead bodies and they open the door like,
ah, you killed the next guy.
I feel like, honestly, Tarkov's
too easy. I think it's way too easy
to play. I see people complain
and I don't get
it. That game is so don't get
me wrong i run into people who like push my fucking shit in like there are people there's
so much better than me that i i know about the game i know they're not cheating but i think
somebody else might be like oh you just got cheated i'm like no he's just really fucking
good like did you see a spray like he pre-fired me the whole way he just destroyed me like but
that doesn't happen most of the time most of the time i just fucking win and make money like like yeah like my stats aren't
like i don't even play properly most of the time and i usually have a good 50 survival rate and
fucking millions of cash like yeah which is not not the best like i don't have like i can't have
like 85 but i don't play seriously like Last night, we were just running around in
outings of forts trying to knife people
with the cultist knives.
We've done that as well. It's really funny.
What I wanted to achieve was to stab somebody
with a cultist knife and then to hold
the antidote ransom.
To be like, I have the antidote.
I'll pull it out of my gamma
if you give me X, Y, and Z.
I wanted to have that. Now, obviously, you could me x y and z like i wanted to have that now obviously
you could just kill them and take anything you wanted but it's more fun to do it that way and
kind of go through the negotiation um but then i've beaten a lot of people death this wipe too
i got that m2 tactical sword and just bonk them on the head yeah but you have max drinking and
one hit people as well it's funny yes yep it's uh no it's fun to do that but i'm kind of just
burnt out on that so i'm definitely looking for a new game. And this Elden Ring thing might be it.
I see a couple people are down to play tonight.
So yeah, I'm going to jump right into that
thing after dinner tonight.
I'll be interested in what you
think of it. Elden Ring you're talking about?
Yeah, I mean, I'll turn the stream on
in the Discord.
I'm so bummed out
that it comes out at midnight. I won't have
any time to play tonight.
I just want to fucking grind until 8am.
What are you going to do tomorrow?
I have to do shit.
I got morning meetings.
I got shit I got to do.
What happens if you don't make your meeting tomorrow morning?
Probably nothing, right?
People won't be pleased about it.
Did they know about Elden Ring?
I'm very sick with Elden Ring flu.
I'll be out until tomorrow.
The best call in sick.
You call up and you say, I've got something wrong with my eyes.
And they go, what's wrong with your eyes?
And you go, I just can't see myself coming into work today.
And they just hang up the phone.
And the guy's like, you know what?
I like that ballsiness.
You're promoted.
And then you're like, fuck you.
And he's like, oh, you overstepped.
You're fired.
I once got fired once during the end of my job because I called in sick and the woman called me back.
And this was my uh
substitute manager at the time and she is i was like yeah i'm taking the day off sick and then
she was like oh what's wrong with you and i just like none of your fucking business and then just
hang up on her they had a real problem with that here's the move here's the move if you want to
call in sick you tell them you have an upset stomach because
they don't want to hear any more about it
and you're not expected to be
a little upset stomach tomorrow.
It's the move.
Also, migraine works.
You can't work with a migraine. You can't even see.
You can't read. And you're not
supposed to have a slight migraine the next
day. Yeah, that's a good
call.
You just can't.
You just, I mean, maybe
something wrong with your eyes is the best.
Yeah, I'm wrong with your eyes.
I can't do literally
anything you need of me because I can't
see. Or I can just say I lost
I'm out of contacts and I lost
my glasses. I'll be out for the next
three to five weeks
waiting on shipping.
Because Canada, they're coming from Canada
and they can't get through the
Freedom Train. Three to five weeks, that's a
long time. Well, this game is hard.
It's tough.
Can't change the difficulty level.
And I have to take this.
I don't understand.
I hope that is something they add when they release the game.
Meetings aside, I'll be on tomorrow evening as well.
Like, if you want to play.
I don't think I have anything going on tomorrow night.
And so I will definitely be on playing.
This looks like a blast.
Yeah, it looks really good.
I love that it's co-op.
I didn't know that.
This could be very addictive for me. Up to four, you said right slush i think so but uh with the pc thing as uh
as i said before i don't know if the multiplayer servers are up for pc yet because they had like
a security issue with it so it may yeah may not be up for but it'll be up for console. I believe it's up for console now. Okay.
Is this a huge game to download?
Is it like one of the card-sized games?
I think it's 40 gig.
So it's like one map in Call of Duty?
Mm-hmm.
Do you remember that? Or not even remember.
That's still going on. When we tried to play
Call of Duty, or at least when I would try and play
it, because I would mess around and be like uh the one where like you're you're you're
like you're a box or a tire and you run prop game or something like that yeah i was messing around
with that i swear to god i had half a terabyte on my computer like 550 560 gigs all call of duty
and it's like oh yeah what the fuck what are fuck? What is the opposite of compressing a file?
Exploding it?
Because it doesn't make any sense.
I've never heard of tech, like anyone to ask,
how can you make this file take more space?
We could actually write it out on paper, I guess.
I mean, you download that and it it's like it's a new map pack
and you expect him to be like worthy of that size.
And it's like the size of Crossfire from COD 4.
Just a basic map, except you can't even glitch out.
I think the reason that they're so big, those games,
is because they include like every texture.
So they'll have like a 160p textures for cancer to plan on a toaster
and then like the 4k textures for people that have like a dope gaming pc and they just put
all of them in when you could just like download them after i think doom when you're downloading
doom it like gives you some sort of option about like shaders or something like that like i know
a lot of games are good about that yeah they, they should do that. But COD is a catastrophe.
You're right.
And sometimes I'll just want to play zombies
like tonight. I don't want this even on
my hard drive. It's frustrating.
And when they
update it, they might make a small update,
but they just package the whole thing
and give you most of the game again.
Tarkov will fix
solar panels, and it's a 95 gig
download, and you're like, what the fuck?
Why are you giving me everything you had already again?
You're gonna worry if they encode, it's like,
do you understand delta change,
or are you just fucking retarded? Like, where's
this game going if you don't even understand that?
Like, the most basic fucking principle
of, like, an update, so.
Look at you.
Over my head. but i'll take you
are you a fucking moron and but it's like but it's like maybe just the other one
all they have to do is like look at the old file and then go what's changed just ship them what's
changed not the whole new fucking file it's like yeah or if there's
like 30 files and you updated one how many do you need to send yeah exactly 30 they're like
the entire thing just just reiterating our entire friendship in this text message
now we're caught up again that's it so what kind of coding did you do slash i did lots of um data analytics
so it was like big data extraction and then uh incredibly lucrative uh yeah depends because
where i live is a really small town it could be more lucrative if i moved but i didn't want to
move because i like when it works online
now well they didn't when i started though like yeah it was only sort of just like coming about
that australia is pretty behind on that kind of shit i think that if like uh streaming comes to
an end that i will probably go back to doing that as a contractor i feel like you can find
an american company that pays you like 300 million for that
i've already got like uh i've already got people that i've met that are like if you stop streaming
we'll hire you and stuff like that so that's the kind of thing that i probably look into but
might not be as fun as video games might not be still fun i don't know yeah at this stage i'm
just sort of i'm just like yeah let's just, yeah, let's just ride this wave, see what happens.
Yeah.
I mean, you're a world champion.
Oh, yeah, exactly.
Three-time world champion?
No, just one.
Just one? All right.
Yeah.
Do you have any world records, Taylor?
Any championships?
Do I have any?
Yeah, do you have any championships or trophies?
Oh, like hockey stuff from when I was younger, yeah.
I have a box of those things downstairs
yeah any mvps any mvps yeah yeah i uh i have an m i think i have one i got a most valuable
player at as the goalie in a tournament it was either in chicago or detroit when i was like 15
or 16 i don't know but I know that like, I really,
I really thought you'd be like 18. No, it would be more than that. I got it.
Why did you get 18 shots on goal? Yeah, exactly. Well, if I got 18 shots on goal as a goalie,
you bet I'm getting fucking, but yeah, it was one of those times where like my team
was not like the players were not up to snuff of the level we were playing. And so we was one of those times where like my team was not like the players were not up to snuff
of the level we were playing and so we were one of the worst teams there and so i was just getting
fucking shelled and it was one of those things like our team lost most of the games but i kept
a pretty good save percentage to the whole thing so at the end they did like a like they kept track
of like the total number of shots total number of goals allowed and they were like all right well
we're this guy's on a bad team, but
you guys wouldn't have won any if he wasn't here.
And so they gave me a little
shitty trophy.
No, I don't think so.
No, we didn't, because
right after that, we had to
drive back to St. Louis.
So I didn't get to have a pizza party.
Did your dad throw you a participation trophy out the window?
That was an MVP trophy, god damn it.
Yeah, I was the most valuable player on my team
for all of those losses.
Perhaps the most valuable player on any team.
It was...
You deserve a pizza party.
If you've never played goalie in any sport,
it is fucking beyond frustrating
to have your team in front of you
know that like they're the worst team and it's like the middle of the second period and i see
like dalton or someone not back checking because he knows we're gonna lose anyway and it's like
dude like another three on oh the fuck like at least help like we get like after the game like
i noticed like a little some sweat and i'm like about to have i we get like after the game like I noticed like a little some
sweat and I'm like about to have
I need to like almost go to the hospital
I'm so fucking dehydrated
oh that was brutal
I've never used to play
it's a really good feeling to be like I'm in control
because that's why I liked playing goalie
is I liked being in control of the flow of the game
like even if my team was sucking ass like
I had the power just me to potentially win it that doesn't usually happen
because if you're getting dominated they're gonna make cross-ice passes you're just not fast enough
as a human to keep up with the puck shot by a stick but like it feels so good when you're like
yes like i'm the reason we fucking won this game i felt really good i was i always enjoyed watching
my brother he was uh he was played field hockey as the goalie.
And when they play against, like, they play for the state team,
and he was, like, 16.
He'd be playing for, like, the over 21s.
And watching these, like, full-grown men just, like,
absolutely fucking peppering him with balls.
It's just, like, he's just, but he's fine.
It's, like, he's just not breaking under the pressure or anything like that.
He's just getting beaten by fully grown men when he's a child.
I can never do that.
I have respect for lacrosse goalies because like,
like hockey goalie, like an expected save percentage,
just easy numbers for like a youth thing, 90%.
You want to save nine out of 10 shots you're like that come at you you
want to like pretty solid if you're a you know minor league guy like young league guy but in
in lacrosse my youngest brother played lacrosse i was like what's a good save percentage for a
lacrosse goalie because i watched a couple of his games and i'm like fuck this is like
11 to 9 is the score and he's like like, yeah, usually like 50% or so.
And I'm like, oh my God, what a horrible position to be.
Half the time you lose and get scored on?
It must be the most discouraging position in the world.
I never would have played hockey.
Do you wear leg protection?
Do lacrosse goalies?
I said it wrong. I'm sorry.
Yeah, I think they...
No, no, no.
Some of them wear shorts
and some of them wear like soccer pads if i recall dude it seems not very hard to get a ball past somebody's
legs into a lacrosse ball goal i have a quick thing it's not we've got several professional
athletes here and and a professional gamer um uh i have have this little human benchmark thing
that'll measure your reaction time
in less than 10 seconds.
You just click it and it'll tell you
when to click and you click.
Let's see who's got the best reaction time.
Mine is slow. It's embarrassingly slow.
Mine is
217
milliseconds.
I got 209.
176. Oh got 209. 176.
Oh, 227. That sucks.
154.
212.
212.
Close.
This is good content.
173. I'm going to say that was the real one that's your time to be that's your time to be no one could possibly get that write it down
i'll go i'll go 154 i think that's kind of anticipated on the 173
i don't even think that's good score. The median score is 273, apparently.
That's okay.
That's allowed.
Really low 200s is my actual number.
Yeah, me too.
Like 215, 220 is where I've been.
Apparently, yeah, 200 is the average.
I bet you could get real quick
if you kept trying.
Drag race drivers
have a whole setup setup just like i
mean nowadays you've seen those things you sit in that are like a whole vr thing almost but like
they had those things years ago with like the pedals and everything with like a screen that
would do what we're looking at you know it would be the lights like at a drag race and they're just
clicking that thing if you ever watch that stupid reality show that john force had with his daughters
like you'd see him doing that a lot but the drag race i think it's called a christmas tree that's
the light yeah for people who don't know that's there's like a bunch of red lights or maybe a
reds and a bunch of yellows and a green at the bottom and i want to say the timing on that is
very consistent so you can learn how long it takes and when to press the green you're not observing
it turn green like we were
just doing no you are you definitely are observing it no no so so you've got some lights that are
like the previous lights are like get ready and then you don't know when it's gonna go green yeah
and if you go too early like uh one one light goes on when you get to a certain point and so
you're pulling your car forward and then a light goes on and then uh and then you pull right up to the line and the rest of the lights go on and then
once the other guy pulls up and all of his lights go on then it comes on at a random time
oh okay and you're the one turning those lights on yeah depending on the drag race as well they
come on at different times as well for each for each person depending on the style of drag racing i understand
all right so i was mistaken i was under the impression that like my green light and your
green light are not in sync maybe you've seen video games where they go boop boop boop and
that's when you go oh you can very much learn like when that longer boop happens in swimming
uh swimmers will pay attention to the tendency of
the guy with the starter gun and start timing are they always consistent or are they ever human
so you know it yeah that is what a christmas tree looks like and so anyway in swimming it's a human
and here's the way it works if there's a false start everyone gets a false start if there's
a second false start then those guys get kicked out of the race so they restart it all together
if like you all go i'm mostly right on these rules yeah and uh so it's kind of to my advantage to try
to time the starter the first time and then the second time you're fucked if you messed up yeah
yeah but that's like a tennis serve
like you get one off like the tennis serve so the first one you just fucking pepper it as hard as
you can it's that makes sense the second one's a bit sort of yeah you want that to go in there
is a swimmer it does get easier the more you do it i got down to 147 like just sitting there waiting
like you just think that's. Like you just train yourself.
But we'll never know because I got that's my best score and it's going to stop.
But yeah, there is a swimmer.
He was like sort of a candidate for the gold, but people kept beating his time, beating his time.
He couldn't win.
He couldn't win, but he was still like the best in America and people thought he had a shot.
And he's like, this is swimming not turning and what he's saying is that
in this 50 meter race
when there's no longer a flip turn in the middle
he's the guy who can still win that
and if you watch the race
this guy is like half a
body length in front of everybody off the start
and he finishes like a hand
length in front of everybody he got
beat in the race but he won the start
by so much that he got a gold medal.
That's awesome.
Yeah.
He's pretty cool.
I know we're,
we're close to wrapping,
but this Woody,
this is don't show that Zach,
you can't show this.
It could squeamish.
This is the worst cut on a hockey player.
I didn't know.
Good gosh.
I was going to tell you.
Yeah.
This is in a swedish league
i've never seen a face cut that bad he has a second mouth now well i i needed a warning
i was i was giving you the warning i was saying but but zach can't show things for any number of
reasons i saw ukrainian war footage earlier not nearly as graphic as what you just showed me
in the hockey ice.
Was it a sticker or a skate?
A skate.
Sliced him so open right there.
Usually not on the ice.
Yeah, that's brutal.
But he gets to try to skate on his face, I guess.
What probably happened is
someone tripped near him
and their skate came up and kicked him
Sometimes people get kicked in the face with a skate
And it cuts their
Like a full fucking face mask I guess
Right dude I used to wear
They call it a cage
It had like
It was just a wire cage that you could see through pretty well
Anyway every single game I was
Reminded this is why good looking people
Wear cages this is what you need a cage if you're a good-looking person my face is my fortune baby
but uh but yeah like sometimes i'd get hit in the cage other times i'd see someone who didn't
have a cage get hit and hurt guy lose a tooth and it's like every game i was reminded why i wanted
a cage and i played better with it if i didn't have a cage
let's say that i get knocked down and i'm like on my knees i can play the puck or i can get up or
whatever if i if i do have a cage i can do that if i don't have a cage i have to protect myself
yeah it's just if you're not in the nhl put a cage on like come on those guys have like a team of
every team has like a whole list
of like medical professionals that don't do anything but work on them a third of them are
dentists and oral surgeons like just constantly putting their teeth back i like i like the
canadian ones where like all the crazy players are just fucking a butt ugly they just look like
they've just been beaten to death every so often you see a guy, like he's a star, and he's been in the league for like 14 years or something,
and his face looks like the guy from Boardwalk Empire,
you know, with the mask and everything.
And then you see some new, like, first-round draft pick,
and he's all handsome with his fresh face
and his uninjured nose and teeth.
And it's like, ah, ah sweetheart if this goes well for you
this won't go well for you it's it's i like it's funny like like ryan o'reilly the captain of the
blues he's missing his one of his main front teeth and so when like he does interviews to like pop
his or flipper in so it looks like he has teeth sometimes but this guy bre Burns on the Sharks, I think he still plays for, he's lost so many teeth in the same front upper area.
He looks like a six year old,
like Brent Burns.
He's like this six foot seven giant bearded defense.
Yeah.
And he's,
he's missing all the whole row of teeth up here,
just gone.
And he looks absurd.
But no one says anything when you're 6'7".
He looks like he's in the fucking
Croods, man.
That fucking movie about cavemen.
In the Croods, yeah.
He's simultaneously
30 and 6.
Yeah.
Yeah, 13 or 30.
Get that fixed.
That's horrible.
He does.
His skin is good, too.
This is from when he was younger.
I'm sure his skin's still good.
They're all athletes who take care of themselves.
But, yeah, that's the gums of someone who's had missing teeth there long enough for, like, the gums to reseal.
Like, Rob Brindamore has, like, he just looks like he's been cut open a lot.
Rob Brindamore was a hockey player for a long time and a coach of my local team.
You can, like, see part of his face is fucked up when he talks, like, from, like, a cut or a scar he got.
Like, his mouth.
Yeah, Brindamore.
His mouth doesn't move, like, 100%, like, symmetrically.
Which I think is common to those guys.
Man, you don't see people this ugly these days.
People legitimately go out and get that shit fixed are you talking about robert endermore or yeah yeah man he looks like his head's been run over they love him in my area so he's i'm sure
i'm sure he's a great guy but man most people go get that shit fixed dude he they call him rod the
he's a great guy but man most people go get that shit fixed dude he they call him rod the bod he's in amazing shape and i think he's in his 50s but he looks amazing and apparently like he coaches
like youth teams and shit in addition to our local pro team and uh like he's just great with all the
kids and every mom wants him that's his reputation he's definitely
shredded but that nose man
holy fuck
that's the nose of a guy who's been punched a lot
yeah that is a
thing I thought I had a bad nose
that counts as fucking intense
I want to curse like an Australian
it looks like a block of wood attached to his face.
That's probably what it feels like at this point.
He's definitely
a snorer.
Can you imagine how he breathes?
He wants to rod the bot.
All the moms want him. Imagine him huffing and puffing on top
of you give me the the mouth breathing oh please he doesn't have to breathe he's in good shape
he is uh you guys want to call it a show yes my dinner is ready
slush anything you want to pimp oh Oh, yeah, I'll buy my merch.
I've bought a shitload of it,
and now I don't...
I haven't sold it or whatever.
I've bought merch.
Nobody else.
How much do you have?
I brought like $2,000 worth of merch.
Oh, no.
They were like,
hey, yeah, we'll do this.
This is fine.
We'll print them as they're ordered.
And they ordered like fucking heaps of them. And I'm like, the company's like, yeah, it's $2,000. I'm like, hey, yeah, we'll do this. This is fine. We'll print them as they're ordered. And they ordered fucking heaps of them.
And the company's like, yeah, it was $2,000.
I'm like, for fucking what?
And they're like, for all the t-shirts we printed.
Yeah, buy a fucking shirt. Slushpuppymerch.com
Slushpuppymerch.com
Yep.
Yeah, get on there.
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That's a good idea. I'm going to take before photos before going to my starting my gym journey and of my load and then i'm going to take the gum pills and then work out it's amateur hour
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and then you you draw out the semen with something like this and measure it to the milliliter.
Okay.
And then you show the girl how impressive it is,
the one that's tied to your radiator. You've got to spray her in the eyes
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This is your dinner.
The slush puppy was going to show two pictures of his wife.
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