Painkiller Already - PKA 588 OpTic H3CZ - The K.Y.L.E. System, Jorge Masvidal in Trouble, Men Don’t Cry
Episode Date: March 26, 2022...
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pka 588 with big optic hex taylor this episode of pka brought to you by express vpn
and lock and load you can find both links to that below you want to be secure online and you want to
come like a man so check that out horse really and hex thank you so much for coming your room
looks awesome thank you i was seeing on twitter because obviously I follow you, a couple weeks ago, Optic had, I don't follow esports as much,
but they had an enormous win in COD.
How's that been going for you?
I saw how stoked you were and excited,
and we're back on top and all that shit.
I was excited for you.
1,143 days between championships,
just in the Optic gaming world or logo we won championships in uh in the
huntsman on season one uh which is three two three years ago yeah three years ago um but between you
know wearing the optic logo and championships like none for 1143 days was that the longest
period of no championships yeah we won a championship every COD.
Except for...
No, we won one every single COD, I think.
What does a championship mean?
I know that sounds stupid,
but is that like a whole event or a whole year?
No, it's an event.
Per event, there's...
Like in the past, there used to be several tournaments,
several MLG tournaments leading up to the championship.
It's the same now.
It's like four majors, a couple of little sprinkle tournaments here and there,
but it's the same thing.
Champs is its own and regarded as its own little thing,
and the season's regarded as there's money to be made for the boys,
and that's good, but championships, as you know,
do matter in a competitive world.
So you won a COD championship.
I'm so out of it.
Still four players?
Yeah, still four.
We're playing a game called Call of Duty Vanguard.
I think it's a new one.
And our team now is Shotzi, Illy, which are the two newest ones.
They're the youngest ones.
And then there is Skump and Dashie,
who have been on the team in the past.
Scump joined Optic when I was young.
What the fuck?
He's 26 now.
Oh, that's actually younger than I thought he was going to be.
It seems like it's been so long.
You know how you get to that age where, like,
I'll be 31 soon and the blues hockey
team i like they traded for a 31 year old defenseman and my visceral reaction was get that
old piece of shit out of here he is washed and i'm like this guy's eight months younger than you
and a thousand times your net worth what happens next taylor i'll spoil it for you a guy your age plays and
they're like it's a medical miracle well like you know the only sport i really follow is
ufc right mma man at 35 oh it's just about over you know we're all kind of pitying you at this point at 35 we're like oh
this will probably be the last one right the mind of a 68 year old yeah how old are you now uh
49 that's not bad dude uh well kyle you're you're like younger than me
35 so five years well seven years i'm 42 uh taylor same age range right like
30 something 30 yeah 30 oh man leave the youngest yeah yeah what what he said is true it's uh they
will they will call you ancient unless you have unless you have this skin and this hair you know
what i'm saying then you're just a vampire oh i mean your hair is gonna keep you young forever both of you the reason i brought it up is because like i saw someone on team optic i don't remember his name
and i was like now i don't know shit about esports but i know this guy this guy's an og
and i checked him and he's 25 which means he was kicking ass at like 13 or something who was it i i don't remember he's
got like a million followers or hundreds of thousands on twitter uh yeah like a 25 26 year
old could have been him it was a very young guy redhead yeah redhead guy yes comfy okay well
that's awesome that's that's so impressive he's uh he's yeah he's won 11 championships in 10 different
games um the 11th comes from uh uh warzone he won a hundred thousand dollar warzone tournament
he didn't think he was going to but i'm like if you're you if you're a professional like if you're
a professional call of duty player that skill can in theory and it does translate to warzone but
there's like other elements right rng and all that shit so he was he went in theory and it does translate to warzone but there's like other elements right
rng and all that shit so he was he went in there saying it's like no there's actual like you know
warzone pros that are you know obviously more more used to competing in this in this manner
but he ended up winning it's pretty cool pretty pretty quick on heads man yeah something i've
wondered for a long time about esports is, are there trades?
Like, if you were like, I'm talking to the Houston gamers or whatever,
and we're going to trade.
Scumpy is on the block.
We're looking for some draft picks.
We're looking for some young up and come.
Like, is that a thing?
Yeah.
That's really cool.
It's been a thing since the time you were probably paying attention to it
back in the early teens.
Holy fuck.
It wasn't trades, really.
A guy would get fired because you knew you could replace him
with that guy so much, right?
You didn't actually coordinate with the other team, did you?
No, no, you're right.
Back in the day, it was more one player's like,
I'm leaving.
There was no contracts for a very, very long time.
I don't think that contracts became, in the optic world,
contracts didn't become a thing until maybe 2000 and like 14 15 um but before that it was like
there's this you want to leave you got i mean what am i gonna how can i hold you right even
now with contracts uh some esports org are super orgs are super like legitimate and i say that i
say legitimately because they they will say you
can't fucking go anywhere you can bitch and moan on twitter and you can have all your fans hate us
for that but you're unless somebody pays uh 450 000 or 500 000 you're not getting out of this
kind that's your buyout for you to get out of this contract you're you know that's what it takes
that was my question though i'm sorry it didn't seem like
people wanted to leave it seemed like people got fired everybody wants to be on optic you just
don't always get to keep your seat is kind of how i remember it yeah i mean it's still that way to
to some regard but it's a little bit more organized now right like you you can't just drop a player and cancel the contract
like uh unless you have it specified like hey in case your teammates want to replace you with
someone and and that you either move to the bench or you could drop your choice uh and and that's
that's the way it breaks out uh but there has been instances in which a player has gotten benched and
he collected a paycheck for the rest of the, for the rest of the year.
Socially.
It was always fascinating to me,
right?
Like tournament finishes.
We get second optics,
not here for seconds,
you know,
and three guys are all buddy,
buddy.
And one's not,
he's starting to think like,
oh shit,
are they all talking about dropping me?
Like,
and then you were never, at least at the time that I talked to you,
you did not get involved in that.
Teammates could sort that out themselves,
but you weren't really a guy who hired and fired players.
Uh-uh.
No, no, no.
Politically, I found that it was in my best interest
to leave those decisions to the players.
One, I'm not in the front lines,
and two, I don't get any of the blame. One, I'm not in the front lines. And two,
I don't get any of the blame,
right?
I have like anyone that's met,
they're mad at each other.
Papa is,
Hey,
you know,
this is how it went down.
That's a good way to handle it.
Well,
I think the other thing is,
you're right.
Huh?
Is it still like that?
Yeah.
Yeah.
I mean,
look,
I,
I become everybody that lives in the optic world
is sort of in the same place already so hanging out with people on a daily basis you become friends
with them and there's always going to be you know there's always going to be some utility to
everyone right including me uh when when i'm no longer able to be in front of the camera or
fucking do something there's gonna be some form of you know back out back office
opportunity for somebody else for players the same thing if you're no longer a pro player well
you you can still be a personality right and that's that's where it becomes harder to to
to drop people so i i i truly don't especially because we're putting a lot of the uh we're
bringing in somebody and we're putting all all the green wall fan eyeballs on
this dude that may become a fan of this dude for this dude to take some of them with when they
leave luckily the green wall is super loyal but that that's something that you have to think about
as an owner for sure i i have to ask do you know what pistola is doing now i've always been fascinated by that dude yes so
uh great timing woody uh so uh pistola was on the opticalo team up until like four months ago
um so yeah he he's still around he's still good as hell um you know obviously it comes down to chemistry I don't man I think he's like
27
super old 27 28
he'll be dead soon
but yeah he's still around
he's still godly at the game
but we just
made a replacement early
on the players not me
the players
felt that they needed something more
aggressive so Formal who won The players, not me, the players felt that they needed something more aggressive.
So Formal, who won, I don't know, like 20-plus championships in Call of Duty for OpTic,
retired from Call of Duty.
In the offseason or in that retirement, he got reengaged with Halo.
Halo just came out.
He put in the hours, and the passion got reignited.
So he worked his way up to the starter role in OpTic. so he replaced pistola but he's still good so is competitive halo i mean it used
to be kind of the premier game even when like when i was uh heavy heavy into call of duty
you go to the mlg and it's really about halo yep Yep. Is that, what is Halo like now?
Dude, man.
So Halo had its heyday, right?
What you and I remember.
But due to lack of support of sort on both the developer and, I mean, I would say almost pro sideside community. It had better days, right?
For four years, I think it was like,
actually for like 10 years, bro, it was like dormant.
Nobody was interested.
We tried to stay in it.
We tried to work some stuff out.
We won a championship in it.
A couple, actually.
But at the end of the day,
it all comes down to developer support
and pro player support
right because if you're playing your game as you know
as a
personality or whatever
YouTube or Twitch streamer well that helps your scene
right if you grow your audience
you're sort of making them a fan
of you and the game
and for a while it was just like
dead and then all of a sudden they had this fucking crazy
ass resurgence this past year where the development team had and hired this super cracked esports division.
And it was hot, man.
I don't know about the ranking system right now.
I mean, obviously, something has happened.
Such a cool down period from launch till now.
But they launched and did everything right from the beginning.
Team skins for pro teams that committed to being in the league,
which is us, right?
And then there's G2 and a bunch of others.
But there's a bunch that are in there because of that.
Cool.
Yeah.
That's the update on Halo. Dude, like, it's probably 10 years ago you bumped into pistola we're mlg raleigh
and hex i've told this before he and pistola do a secret handshake and i'm like fuck hex is cool
if you didn't already now weren't you like 40 at least i'm i'm 40 now so it's like it's not weird it's not weird at all i'm woody right now
oh that's fun for me to watch too like when i started the cot the cod scene i was ancient
right i was old i was everybody's, it wasn't just like Dilf.
It was like Gilf or something like Grandpa.
And people were like, they call me a pedo.
And I mean, how can I even exist in the gaming world?
I was 36.
And now it's like.
He was Kyle's age.
And how old is Hutch?
Hutch is probably older than 36 today right yeah no
he's here he's uh he's like 40 he looks he looks like he's 40
he's uh well his hair's making a comeback which is a good thing
zach says 38 yeah 38 yeah he's up there man look he's one of my oldest friends in in not just the industry just
just now in in general uh still still hutch you know so i did it's fun for me hutch i presume
c daners i think he's roughly hutch's age and uh and and the whole gang who was like you know
these kids who thought i was weird you're weird too bro welcome to my club yeah but you were weird when it wasn't even cool man
like you didn't have any excuse for being around back then it was weird we weren't even getting
paid bro well he was there because he knew that this was going to happen and there's going to be
i saw it all coming
I remember like at the time
like when I met Woody like I was
18 you were 36 and like
to an 18 year old 36 is like
oh he's been an adult for generations
and I remember being like
the real thing was he had a family
it was like this is a man with like
adult children not adult children
but like children who are like
walking around having ideas and shit you know what i mean i have a 12 year old a 12 year old
i remember thinking like man how can woody upload like how does he know how to upload videos to
youtube being that old i was like oh no literally wrapping up my master's he's a tech guy so that's how he knows
how to hit upload i don't know how private your private life is do people know is it a boy or
girl is this a thing oh yeah yeah it's uh yeah it's olivia 12 years old oh cool uh yeah it's
like the same one i've had since uh optic was a thing and any other kids no just uh her eight dogs a turtle wait paul hold eight dogs yes eight dogs ranging
i'd say i think i say this every time i check in with you guys like once once uh once a year
right with me you get to retell your stories i've forgotten them all really
i was vlogging as a 42 year old still right and uh And, and I'm like, yo, you know, it's crazy.
It's like,
they don't keep up with anything that I do.
And I don't keep up with like anything that they do.
Like I'll see a PK clip here and there,
but I'm like,
aside from that,
like we don't,
but once a year,
like old homies from fucking 2010 or 13,
14,
like get together and they're just like,
yo,
what you been up to?
So that's what,
I was just talking about you guys on
my podcast with my brother
who had a bone to pick with Kyle
because Kyle
What did you do, Kyle?
Kyle had this
fucking clip where
you guys were watching
I don't fucking remember what it was, but you said
one, some girl
some like American Indian woman looked like my brother I think that that's what it was but you said one one uh some some girl some like american indian uh woman
looked like my brother i think that that's what it was it was so long ago my brother's like my
brother's like mother fuck can i just say that so long ago that not only do i have no memory of like
what you're describing i didn't remember how brother like gun to my head and i know a little bit about you i know about like how rough
things were before you came over to the u.s and everything and like like um but but i had no idea
he had a brother and like i don't even know when i would have seen a picture of him was this 12
years ago was that it had to have been it had to have been episode five or something. Well, Hex's brother, I apologize profusely for comparing you to a Native American woman.
If anything, you should take that as a compliment.
They've got great skin tone.
Great cheekbones.
Purity.
I'm sticking to my guns.
You're a pretty man.
He did.
I don't remember, but he did.
Kyle briefly mentioned rough growing up. I know i asked you about this before were you raised in a house with no plumbing or has your modest beginnings become legend
no no no i i did i did poo in a bucket for was a kid for some period of time um bam i we we gotta
do this like twice a year then so i don't
know because i remember fucking everything and i'm like man we're i'm sure a lot of the fans
that watch this are like we know the fucking story yeah that's gonna roast me yeah no it's good it's
good it's good to catch up i was like i was telling fucking um uh chiz i'm like yo i i've
hit i've texted both of these dudes to fucking hop on the podcast
and none of them have gotten back to me and then kovat happened so that super extended it for
travel and all that shit so i kept on telling him like these guys haven't come on last time
last time you and i were texting i i was being elusive about it because i was like right in the
middle of like doing my whole fitness thing and i didn't want anybody to know what I was up to yeah and I felt like if we talked like you might notice or you
might ask and I didn't want to have to lie straight to your face about what was up um and that that's
what was going on then honestly because I remember like I was texting with you and I was at the gym
like tanning or something like like like like I was like doing like my third hour uh like set of cardio for the day or
something out wait well what uh tell me about the fitness thing what what's oh yeah oh wow you
haven't kept up at all yeah so can you find some pictures while kyle please bring out pictures
so kyle's fucking diced so obviously like obviously like this audience has like heard this
far too many times because i explained it to a lot of guests.
But just in a sentence, I got inspired to do a big body transformation thing.
So I put myself in a hole, and then I dug myself out of the hole over the course of... Oh, fuck.
That's about...
Look at his biceps.
That's 10 months.
I'm looking at everything.
Look at what... That's 10 months. I'm looking at everything.
His armpits have holes and there's
something coming out of them under the bicep.
Find another one, Zach. There's more pictures.
Dude, you got fucking swole swole.
That's a 10-month
transformation.
His skin is as thick as my penis skin.
It's like...
Is it as ridgy as uh
yo wait whoa so so how when is this wait time i'm vaccinated funny uh what is this
i am vaccinated no i believe yeah same i'm vaccinated uh what's what's uh is this your
tinder profile yeah it is yeah yeah so what's up are we still looking like that or
i'm a little bigger than that now but i've got i'm not as cut as that right now because i've
been doing a little bulk thing here for the last several months so um what i did to do that is i
bulked for like seven months or so and then i cut um for three months or so and uh so i'm kind of doing the same thing
again jesus i'm i'm trying to ask you what where do you post these pictures like i oh this is where
you follow no this is where some jerk like tracked down my tinder profile somehow like like and uh
and like screenshot i'm gonna upload them to the internet oh you look like name call kyle i'm right here that's fucking hilarious that's so good woody it wasn't his very own
oh you thought it was me no that's so fucking good oh yeah here's the artsy one i couldn't
help it i had to do the artsy one it It is really artsy. You look like you read.
Yeah, like I'm...
You look like you read.
That was a sick line.
You look literate, Kyle.
Once I realized I could see my jugular,
I decided
that I wanted to go for
a Greek statue kind of thing.
So I just played that up
and went with the black and white. Oh god that is your jugular so what so what does somebody have like what what what was
your like give me one day in the middle of it like at your peak performance for this transformation
what was your one like your all right one day look like from food and exercise obviously so wake up um first thing um
i'm gonna make my decision right then whether i'm gonna do my fasted cardio now or after my first
meal because i'm hungry i just woke up and i'm fucking starving so i can fix that problem right
now or i can do my cardio but at some point of the day i'm doing fasted cardio so i make that
decision then and one of the other happens right i either do 30 or 40 minutes of fasted cardio and then
eat breakfast or vice versa, something like that. But breakfast is like six eggs and like a cup of
rice and a bunch of like spinach and vegetables. Um, and then I do something like that four times
a day for about 3000, three calories a day. Uh, if I'm in the middle of this process, like you're saying,
I'm ranking the calories up as I go.
And I'm taking testosterone throughout the whole thing.
I'm taking pre-workout protein
and working out on a push-pull leg split,
push-pull legs rest split.
So I'm just working out essentially five or six days a week, depending on how you look at the calendar.
And, you know, doing about 30 minutes of cardio on average a day.
But though by the end, I'm doing it out at the end.
It's an hour of cardio a day.
It's Jesus.
It's my calories have been slashed from thirty five hundred or thirty wherever it was.
Thirty three.
Thirty four hundred all the way down to like 2,500 or something,
which I think I just drank 2,500 in this fucking night. No, I feel you. Yeah. Yeah. So yeah, no.
Um, uh, it's, it was just really fucking fun to do the whole thing. I worked with a couple
of professionals to help me out with it and, uh, you know, uh, TRT clinic and all that shit and
just really enjoyed it.
And we've all gotten into fitness.
Woody is as diced as I am.
That's the best part.
Woody is a tremendous shit.
You don't even know.
No, I can tell.
I mean, he's always been.
No, Hex.
Let me explain to you.
Wait, are you about to show me
a six-pack Woody shit?
No, show me.
I can see he's looking for it right now.
I can just tell he's looking for it right now.
He's about to pull it up.
I wasn't even going to bring it up, but I'm going to.
Oh, my God.
No, show the good one.
That's casual Woody.
I mean, yeah, I can tell by the khakis that this is casual Woody.
This picture inspired me to buy pants that fit.
It looks like you beat up a fat man and stole his pants.
Woody, congratulations. Woody,
congratulations.
Show the big boy picture.
Dude, Kyle and...
He pulls up his phone and he's like,
here it is, his background.
Kyle and Woody are
shredded to the max and I am built like
a blacksmith in an HBO miniseries.
I need to hurry up and lose the weight
because I'm getting blown out of the water.
There's better ones I haven't
posted.
Let me see.
Bro, you lose
beefcake?
What's Woody's wrestler name?
This is Wood Nasty.
Father Time.
Father Time.
Bro, that is so...
Bro, what? I need to check in twice a year this is fucking madness to me
look at his doubt look at that doubt with the end that was like three weeks ago that's a man
who programs in python geez man so what is what what don't you what what, what, no, no soda, no sugar, just not, none of that. Right. Woody.
So here, so no soda, no soda and sugar is actually true.
I don't, I don't do those.
I wake up in the morning.
I have an omelet.
Typically I'll have salsa in it.
No cheese, usually not of eggs though.
It's like either egg whites or egg beaters for lunch. I have this chicken sandwich and it's lavish.
So it's not bread or anything it's
something lower caloric less caloric than that and then for dinner uh baked potato because it
solves hunger um chicken and mixed vegetables every day yolks what do you need some egg yolks
that's like the only thing i i i have the same meals almost every meal like i've done very very
much i'm weird i think i'm autistic i don't
know like i'm perfectly fine having the same meal no it's a discipline thing like like i like i like
doing that thing too like if i'm being strict about this thing spartan is the word i use like
man if i were to slip up and throw some velveta in today then then tomorrow it's gonna be velveta
and a little butter and then the day after that
we get let's just get the real cheese and this is yeah there's a slippery slope when you're when
you're on a diet so like so like i like you're fucking 49 you have no business looking like
i eat but i eat uh either tropical fruit or just chicken breast with nothing on it. And let me jump in because Woody's too polite to say it,
but like I,
Woody did this all natural at 49 with,
I wish he'd get his test levels determined now,
but we know just how impressive this transformation is.
Yeah.
Cause if his testosterone levels are 900 and they very,
they very well,
maybe they could be,
I mean,
you're a guy with a high sex drive.
You've got body hair.
You're an athlete most of your life.
You could easily have some 900-level testosterone level
and now it's petered down to a measly 700.
You know what I mean?
My shit was at 320 or whatever when I started
and then we got the syringe out and fixed shit.
So I've got a real unfair advantage.
But you were also like,
your natural T wasn't as low as that 300.
You were eating bad and putting on the Fat Mac stuff prior to it.
I've gotten it tested twice.
It was low both times.
So it was just bad.
Yeah, it had just gotten low.
And I think it had happened
i think i didn't notice it because i was like depressed over like being under the trial and
everything and and the legal shit and moving and everything so i didn't even maybe i still
suppress it like sleep schedule and body fat both of which you struggled with before the
transformation yeah and i think, that mainly though,
like what I was going to say is that maybe it just naturally went down during
that time period.
Cause I was when I was around 32 or so.
And like,
I was like,
yeah,
I'm feeling bummed out.
I have a probation officer.
I'm low energy.
I don't go out at all.
Cause I'm afraid I'm'm gonna get a speeding ticket
and it's gonna like i'm gonna end up back in front of a judge because that's all it would
have taken right like a traffic infraction where like the police engine i was with a girl and she
had a minor you're not exaggerating you're not exaggerating about a speeding ticket i assumed
you were all right a speeding ticket's probably exactly what i'm talking about is like how that
could easily escalate to like me back in jail like a speeding ticket is probably exactly... What I'm talking about is how that could easily escalate
to me back in jail.
A speeding ticket could end up in a road rage thing
or maybe my documentation
wasn't correct.
Who knows what? I'm just so paranoid
because I don't want to...
What happens, what can happen
is the judge can say,
hey, you realize that
you've been released on your own recognizance
until your trial and everything.
They can hold me in jail if they want. He could just say, you know, I get back in that
jail. And I don't know what jail they put me in. If they send me back to Franklin County and that
place where they were starving us on boiled eggs, or if they put me in one of these scary jails
out here in Atlanta. But the point being, I was bummed out right then. And so
maybe my testosterone levels were going down at the same time and i was just like yeah i'm bummed out because of this
trial thing but really it was just my testosterone well doesn't stress chicken and an egg thing
chicken and egg baby um yeah so sorry uh and i know i asked you this last time i think
um how long were you in for oh i 60 days 60 days is it is it like i i know a lot of i know
too many people that are in incarcerated but they they they look like me so is it for somebody like
you do you have to sort of associate with like you know white dudes or like how does that how
does that go because over here like puerto ricans in some
cases won't even mesh with mexicans that well yeah i think in the medium security it's a lot
more like that a lot more segregated um and the max i think it's extremely segregated but where
i was in this uh like low it was well definitely races hung together and stuck together as far as
like jobs and shit like a black guy ran the
laundry crew you couldn't get on laundry if you're white like or mexican like like white and brown
people were not getting on laundry duty but a white guy ran the automotive shit only white guys
did automotive you couldn't get on there if you're brown but then a brown guy did like a bunch of
like other shit and so like yeah that's where you could go and like everybody so i'd be talking my
mexican friend he'd be like,
yeah, I really wanted to get in there and do laundry,
but I ain't having it.
Then he'd start dropping
N-bombs way too loud.
Basically, what I did was
I tried to make friends
that I thought could watch my back
and make sure. I didn't know the rules
in there. There was a couple times where
I didn't wash my hands once after I took a piss and somebody took notice and it was a big fucking deal
and uh and like somebody had to tell me you know and i was like all right all right i won't do that
again and i turned i changed the uh the tv station one day somebody had a fucking meltdown even
though it was the white people tv that i had changed and it was a black man who had the issue
it's either here or there i'm not getting into i was like i was about to be like this is the white people tv though but then i remembered
don't think of yourself as one of the white people kyle you're gonna be here for 30 more days
like it doesn't matter for fuck the tv well that was pretty racist of him to not let you watch
stuff on the white tv i think it was just a morning tradition to watch uh all the local
news channels and he didn't care for everybody who loves Raymond. I bet if
Martin had been on, it would have been A-OK.
There's a bunch of
there's a bunch of
there's a bunch of TikToks where there's like
people with phones in jail.
Some people have fucking PlayStations
and if they have Wi-Fi, they can play online.
Yeah, I'd hear him talking all the time
at night, like right before lights out or even after lights out they go in the bathroom like pretend they're
taking a shit and they just be like yeah baby no what you need what you need is a gangster in your
life what you need is a gangster in your life i mean and i'm like taking a piss like like you know
i bet there's a lot of dudes out there that use that line. This dude fucking means that shit.
He has a contraband cell phone in a federal prison.
Yeah, that is gangster.
That is gangster.
After lights out.
There's levels to that shit.
If he gets caught with that, they put him in the hole.
That bitch ass ain't got nothing.
Minimum security.
I'll steal his girl.
You need a real gangster like Woody's Gamertag
With the first rule of prison
I have all the trophies in Grand Theft Auto
And he went up to the biggest guy
And he fucked him
I said give me that dick
From the bottom yes
You like go into prison
Like aggressively gay.
When I melted him.
No, you're not raping me. I want you to.
When I melted him.
You don't even get turned out.
You go eager.
No, get back here.
I want some more.
Is that all you got?
I'm going to climb you like a tree, Otis.
Wow, Nazis are sure our pussies.
Quick question.
Is this still called cowgirl when it's you?
That's cowboy.
Cowboy, all right.
No, prison was silly.
I'm glad I'm not in prison anymore.
I'm glad I'm back here.
I'm glad you're not either.
It stressed me out when you were in jail.
Yeah, I think it stressed everybody out. It were in jail uh yeah i think it uh i think it stressed
uh everybody out but i was i was always like it'd be kind of scary in there some days and uh but
i'd be talking to like kitty or i'd be talking to uh chis how's she doing she's good she's good
she's still out there where you're at yeah yeah she's not far from me she um i'm out like uh south
of atlanta so um yeah she's all good we live pretty close to each other like like the
only reason that like we were roommates for years and years the main reason i moved out is because
the feds were trying to act like her etsy business where she sells like candles and essential oils
with some sort of trafficking hub for my like marijuana concentrate business meanwhile i've
never seen more than like half an ounce in my life before they locked me up
do you have a concentrate business fuck no i don't know no they were accusing him of that
it's it's it's look i have i have a i have a cannabis uh company in in in california now
i know you do yeah oh yeah so that's why i like how long have you been doing that i think last time you were on
you mentioned like maybe getting it up no i don't think so i don't i don't remember what month uh
when it was the that i was last on but this started almost a year and three months ago
yeah so yeah like like a year and a half ago uh it's when pine park um pine park got started is that what pine park is
yeah yeah yeah pine park is uh the name of my cannabis company is it tied into the optic
branding at all no no no no separate okay yeah it's i didn't and so the the way that i thought
about this thing is like i was either gonna do a a salsa company right uh something that i can
i cook a lot i'm like well if i'm gonna cook and grill and do my thing like might as well do it on
camera and you know sort of share my recipes with uh with the world my mom's recipes uh with with uh
with the people that watch me so it was either gonna be that or a tequila company uh obvious
reasons and then i was just like man i started seeing all these headlines of the opportunity
there's uh of this.
And I thought about it.
I'm like, man, it's not even legal everywhere.
And this is the sort of money that's out there.
So I was like, no brainer.
And I like smoking it.
Right now, I think Delta 8 and all the other legal variants, being able to jump into those markets that have been nothing but the illegal market before
has got to be huge right now.
I keep hearing little issues with law enforcement.
Right now, I think here in Atlanta, maybe in Gwinnett, for anybody who's local,
they've got some sort of issue where the local law enforcement gave them a letter that was like,
cease and desist, throw all this shit out. No, bullshit. It's against the law.
And so the smoke shop got a restraining
order against all of the officers and everybody else at the department.
And so it's an enforceable restraining order.
They don't know what to do now. I don't know what to do either.
Yeah, it's a funny situation because they're not breaking the law at all
without getting into all the nonsense.
It's still right up in the lamp.
It has less than 0.03%.
I think THC would 9, which is the illegal shit for whatever reason.
Psychoactives, man.
Yeah, you wouldn't want any psychoactives.
Why does it work if there's no THC
in it?
This is THC.
Oh, this is...
Yeah, yeah.
You know the difference, right?
Yeah, I do.
I think it's Delta-8 acetate, right?
Or something like that.
Is technically what it is.
So many variations of it.
Which is what's scary to big pharma,
to big tobacco,
to the alcohol industry,
cotton industry.
I mean, this is what the threat is.
This one plant gives you medicinal benefits.
It gives you a really good time.
Everything tastes better, looks better,
sounds better, feels better.
So yeah,
it's just too natural
and too uncontrolled right now by the
government or by big companies that can
pay the government.
Well, because of the farm bill.
Because of the farm bill,
this is an example of the federal law saying
no, no, no, we agreed.
The hemp stuff's legal.
And the stoners were like,
so we can have hemp?
Yeah, you'd have to smoke a metric ton of it to get stoned.
They're like, well, what if we concentrate it and change it a little?
Wait, wait, wait, what?
What do you mean change it?
What do you think, we're farmers?
We're going back to our fucking laboratory with a metric ton of hemp
and we're not leaving until you get
stoned with one of these.
Senator!
And that's what they fucking did.
That was very good.
That's what they fucking did.
And look,
someone should sponsor me. 3Cheese
should get a hold of me because like i
ordered you can go on a three cheese website and you can order 60 fucking grams of thco
or hhc if you prefer hhc is too thick for vape pens though use a dab break i don't even know
it hits this i don't care what it is i know what it makes me feel like and both of them are about
on the same level and they are the strongest things that i have found by far it's three fucking dollars a gram for 180 you get three like
big ass jars of this stuff i don't have one i have some questions that price you mentioned
is that a low or a high price it's incredibly low why no i don't know a low okay Because I thought there might be listeners who didn't know either.
Okay. So like if we were buying like, um, like marijuana flower, you know,
like, like, like the, the buds, um,
you'd pay like $12 a gram for that. And,
and like that's just enough for a joint, right? This is,
I'm talking about $3 a gram and a gram is what it takes to fill up a cart.
This cart lasts for days and days and days for $3. I have another question. So in, in your prime, right, this is 30 year old Kyle,
an Olympic level smoker. You had a tolerance that, that most could not compete with.
How do you compare to that version of Kyle? You working your way back into smoking shape?
You know, I don't know because I
smoke this stuff and I use this vape pen so that it's difficult to quantify I don't smoke I haven't
been smoking more and more per day I kind of I smoke a good bit during the show because I like
to be silly here but like usually during the day I I smoke like if I'm right before I eat or like
I don't know maybe if I'm gonna watch a movie at night or something. And definitely before bed.
Every night before bed.
Before bed is the best.
If I get high during the day, like, I can go into it being like, I'm going to get high and I'll just have a great workout anyway.
But it's like, it's never the same.
Where are you, Taylor, if you can say?
Missouri.
St. Louis.
So, like, I use the legal stuff here, same that Kyle's talking about.
No reason not to but like
even that like delta eight if i hit it a couple times i don't smoke as quite as much as kyle
like it i'm getting nothing done like the rest of the day most likely like i it and even if i do
it's going to be a level of efficiency that not high me would be frustrated at and it's like what
is the i don't know and i can't enjoy it it'd be like getting drunk like
right before you had to do something really important i need to i need to talk to someone
because i just feel like why don't i have a delta 8 company right now that that we promote on the
show we should no more no more promoting these companies till they reach out because like for
example these products you're talking to him right now you're talking to him right now. You're talking to him right now.
I got you. I got the plug.
The pricing is so outrageous, though.
I might want my own company, Hex.
I don't want any of your marijuana
business. I want some of this Delta 8
stuff. I don't want to step on your toes.
Because
this little pack of nonsense
was like $20 and it's like 20 fucking dollars like like like and
it's it's just rolled hemp and then they how long does it last you i don't i don't use these anymore
this is the the bullshit i started off with when i didn't know what to buy i i bought these pre-rolls
for like way crazy expensive and it says that each one of them is um 400 milligrams of delta 8 and 700 milligrams
of cbd per pack so you divide that by 10 uh and pre-rolls that's 40 milligrams of delta 8
that's bullshit dosage like i got these when i didn't know what the fuck i was doing they're
overpriced and everything again this is three dollars a gram like you could see how much they
had put on here and it was just a spritzing and i doubt it was as potent as this stuff is this was just but the oh what i'm getting at is
the profit it must be a hundred percent like this didn't cost a dollar like this packaging is so
shitty and cheap yeah like it's not like a cigarette package like it's supposed to be
better than that it's supposed to be fucking childproof what it didn't come no lamination
there was just a sticker there's a sticker on the side that keeps it sealed oh some
of those are really strong so i don't mean i don't want to step on anyone's business or talk
shit about it no this was bullshit you're like oh there is so much bullshit at those smoke stores
i swear to god i went in to buy gummies a few weeks ago one of their options just had the rabbit
from tricks on it yeah no i guarantee they didn't get permission from tricks to use that rabbit it was just some guy
they hired to do the graphics so it's called bunny mania
bunny on google image search i bounced around to like all the smoke shops and like little places
that like sell this stuff or that you could get off of google or anywhere on the internet
and most of them are places that used to be like nicotine like nicotine vape places and they've just expanded to this
because this is like what's hot right now at you know next to the hookah section now they've got
delta 8 and other derivatives but like this i'll never forget that one guy i told you guys about
who like man it was shady i should have taken a picture of the outside of his business it was so
like there was no storefront there was just a door and a wall and i went in there and it was shady. I should have taken a picture of the outside of his business. It was so like there was no storefront.
There was just a door and a wall.
And I went in there and it was just two dudes behind a counter and it smelled like real weed.
And there was so much shit everywhere.
And it was all that trademark infringement shit, like the Cinnamon Toast Crunch edibles and Lucky Charms shit everywhere.
And when I asked him for like five grams grams of concentrate he just got a ball out and
started carving off of it with like a like a like a tool meanwhile the body of the actual proprietor
is lying rotten i told him he was like do you like this shit better than regular weed and i was like
i just got off probation i said i just got off federal probation so i'm looking for like something
that's 100 legal i don't want any more trouble he's like i feel that i got off federal probation so i'm looking for like something that's 100%
legal i don't want any more trouble he's like i feel that i got out in like 2018 or whatever
and i was like out of what he's like fpc or whatever like federal prison system
damn i've been doing more than i ever do like my dosage is so small a gummy is 35 and i like a quarter of it
that like i've tried a half and i took a half i'm like am i nauseous i feel like i'm like
not that i want to throw up but i like if i'm asking that question it's too much yeah dude
look at your body fucking fat percentage that's what that's why you're lightweight dude like
you're lightweight you're you're a thin dude that's gonna affect you differently oh i didn't know that but yeah if you take a shot if you take
three shots of tequila right now versus i don't know when you were like heavier like it's gonna
affect you differently no so i take a quarter it just uh makes me tolerant of everybody and
um a little sleepy too it puts me to bed so i had just definitely a
nighttime thing for me and um whatever it's chill have uh have any of you been following the uh
supreme court justice proceedings hearings not even a little so i've tried to stay away from it
because it's so contentious and uh and you know, like either side, when they get their 30 minutes or so to question the nominee,
they use it as this platform for whatever they're into.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
But I did catch the one segment where the lady asked Katonji.
Is that this brilliant person's name?
Regardless, she asked her if she could define the word woman for her.
And that was a tough, tough one to crack.
And because I had been watching this on YouTube,
this guy who I'm guessing is a very conservative right-wing YouTuber type
fellow, I don't know.
I did no research.
Forgive me if I'm so off.
But he's made like an hour
long video where he traveled the entire planet and he can't he he talked to african tribesmen
with the bald heads he talked to like people in saint petersburg square i think like he went
to fight what is a woman and he got you know like the af the Africans are like, oh, this guy, they're laughing at him because he's so fucking stupid.
I didn't watch any of it.
He did this in the last week.
I intend to go back to it.
I don't know how he got it.
No, it's a thing he's been doing for a while.
Because I believe the reason they asked this candidate the question is because it's a it's a it's a it's something that the that certain people have been using against certain people for a long time because it's very difficult question to ask to to answer and not a lot of people.
Yes. In America specifically, it is very hard to answer the question.
What is a woman?
I saw him put the mic in front of four women and ask him what a woman was.
And they were terrified.
Wait, were they Americans?
Of course.
Okay, well, you said he went around the world, so it wasn't obvious.
Oh, well, actually, I don't know if they were Americans.
They were pretty blonde white women, so I just assumed.
Okay, yeah.
Yeah, I don't know what I'd say either.
I feel like I don't know how to answer that.
It's tricky now.
It wasn't previously.
I can answer it, but it requires more than a quick explanation by chromosomes or genitals.
I have to say that and then say, but also there are some people who unfortunately the first two rules didn't apply to by some cruel mix-up at the beginning of their lives.
A cruel mix-up?
Yeah, they didn't get the parts they ordered.
I feel like that's what you got to say.
There was some cruel mix-up in the womb, and this person should have had something, and they didn't end up with it.
But they're still a woman, though, because men can get periods, too.
They didn't end up with it.
But they're still a woman, though, because men can get periods, too.
So that was a big deal question from the whatever it's called, the Congress people asking it.
As Kyle mentioned, anytime there's a Supreme Court justice, it's not just now that there's a Democrat one. The same thing happened when Trump was president and the Democrats tried to attack his choices.
That's what they do.
They go up there and they try to pin them down with the issues they think the other side is vulnerable to.
So there's a whole lot of like critical race theory questions, biological questions like the one he mentioned.
And I forget what else.
But, you know, there.
Yeah, it's a lot of like flavor of the week, like the Kavanaugh thing.
It was like right in the middle of me, so that was like the huge thing yeah i actually
it's like a uh it's like the final exam on your pr test like they want to see how good you are
at deflecting how good you are at not falling for a question it's uh let's just lead Let's just lead with kindness
and common sense.
I think Ted Cruz had this
I don't know anything about critical race theory
because I can tell it will enrage me
the more I learn about it.
It's one of those things where
when I watch a movie trailer
and I see some cool shit, I'm like,
I'm going to watch this. Anything else will only be a spoiler
going forward.
I want to watch this. Anything else will only be a spoiler going forward. I want to
buy it.
Rewind me three
seconds. You were talking about critical race
theory and not knowing about it.
Ted Cruz pulls out this
book that's maybe
at the center of some critical race theory
controversy. There's a bunch of
babies in there. The book
puts forward that the white babies There's some there's a bunch of babies in there and the book puts forward
that yeah that the white baby there's some racist babies in this book you know and i don't wait is
this is this yes yes there's no joking here taylor this is the world no taylor these babies are
racist they're fucking racist ass babies it's not taught and he's he asked her he's like do you think
that there are racist babies or something like that? And like this cunt like refuses to fucking do what we would love her to do and be like,
I'm not an expert in babies nor literature. And I've never seen that book before, but no,
of course I don't believe in racist babies. And that's all I care to say about it. And that book,
Mr. Cruz, like, that's what I'd i'd say like i know you're trying to bait
me into some sort of weird gotcha here but no i don't believe in racist babies but yeah but
who does believe in racist babies she does well no it wasn't no no no she's fine i like she did
it because she never seen that book i mean i didn't even know that book was was in existence
is that like uh i'm looking for her exact quote,
and I wish I could find it super fast,
but it wasn't too bad, according to me.
Maybe I'm a liberal cuck or something.
But she was like,
this isn't something that Supreme Court judges have to deal with.
I've never seen that book.
That book has never crossed my desk in the courtroom,
and I don't have an opinion
on that book without having seen it or read it i wonder is how i recall yeah she's like it's not
my job to to do like you're asking me questions about why don't you at the same time as you want
me to answer this question ask me about plumbing something i also know nothing about or have read
a manual on right uh you see tvc you get new stuff that like just clicks in say it again i think i'll
talk to him knows about plumbing he's flexing on yeah i flex my plumbing knowledge um no i i uh
as i was thinking about it while you guys were chatting i was like i bet babies are racist
though like like if you've got like a white baby who's like brand new and in like continuously like imprinting everything like on this brand new fucking ssd
drive that they got for a brain like and they have never seen a black guy and they're like
eight months old and all of a sudden a black dude walks in their brain is like danger danger danger it has to be right on a similar note i've never seen one
i saw i saw i saw tiktok this morning actually funny that you mentioned that where
and i it may have been fake but it it it looked real enough for me to bring it up uh there was
this one white dude with a camera that met some tribe somewhere for the first time that was the
first white person that they had ever seen.
And every single time the white dude went
and the
indigenous person
touched him, he was like, oh.
Every move that he made, he was fucking apprehensive and that.
It could have been the color of his skin,
but it could have also been
his attire.
They've never seen fucking...
I've seen that too. One is the quote. I have it correct now. She said, Senator, I've not you know his his attire right like yeah they've never seen it's like it's a novelty thing one is
the quote i have it correct now she said senator i've not reviewed any of those books or any of
those ideas they don't come up in my work as a judge which i'm respectfully here to address my
work as a judge which is evidence from my decade on the bench yeah so great great answer to a stupid
question that shouldn't have been asked yep um the other thing kyle was
like i wonder if babies are racist i took it on a similar level i wonder if other animals are
racist we had a bunch of yellow labs and a chocolate lab came in would they greet that
chocolate lab as a colorblind oh well then that's not a good example what are we making
animals in the world they only see black and white
I think it's
Does it happen in the animal kingdom
Do they like obviously
If you bring a bunch of labs
And a wolf comes in
That's a good one
But yeah anyway
I wonder if animals are racist based on fur color
I think they see more than black and
white i think they see like some like they just can't see it's a regular colorblind and i and i
want to know this who fucking said like how the fuck do they know like is there is there something
that they're looking at a at an iris that you can determine by the lack of fucking little lines or
like how do they they know i would i'd be interested in this study i'm gonna actually
look into it more because i don't like thinking... Unless the baby's
first word is, you know...
I think
that they're just babies.
That racism is
also a
learned thing, right?
I mean, you could easily do
some sort of experiment, right? Where you just have a bunch
of toddlers hang out in one of those little
playpen cage areas and pull up toys right? Where you just have a bunch of toddlers hang out in one of those little playpen cage areas
with a pool of toys and shit, and you just
mix the races up a little bit
and you see how they pair off into groups and
holy shit, all the white kids
went over here and excluded
the brown kids.
To me, that's more personality.
For me, I'm super
fucking outgoing. I'll say hi to
fucking everybody, right like no matter
where we go the wife however is a little bit more reserved than she's not as outgoing so i think
babies that are outgoing are going to chill with people who aren't as outgoing or as outgoing you
know what i mean so that yeah we're being scientific about the sex we're not just doing
one study group of 10 toddlers no i'm making thousands of toddlers and every time we injected
a black toddler
they segregated off to the side and is that what happened wait what are you talking about
you're talking about an actual oh no i'm making this up oh no pure fabrication have you ever seen
the show dave chappelle and uh when they when they switched the the house rules right where
they had they had uh no i wasn't talking about what the fuck so anyway i wasn't
talking about i was talking about where uh they do like like uh road rules right like they had
the house the real world right but it was it was all blacks and then one white dude so like that
it's you know it depends obviously how you fucking grew up too right like it's but they don't grow
up that's the point they haven't been imprinted on anything they're infants they shouldn't have
like preconceived notions about they wouldn't they wouldn't they wouldn't grow up. That's the point. They haven't been imprinted on anything. They're infants. They shouldn't have preconceived
notions about... They wouldn't.
They wouldn't act that way.
But they do act that way. That's the point of the
critical race theory book that Ted Cruz is holding up.
Anecdotally, I think that
I'm with Hex. I feel like
babies and people don't start acting racist
until they're 5th grade.
It's a learned behavior.
It sounds like a more distinct line I see with kids
because a lot of my friends
are having young kids.
Is it a learned behavior
to be afraid of snakes and spiders?
It's a boy-girl divide
when a bunch of kids
get together, it seems.
When there's a bunch
of young kids hanging out
because they seem to like
all the boys go do the boy thing,
all the girls do.
That's the line that it seems
to divide more than race.
I haven't thought about that. It depends on the age. At very young ages, it's completely mixed. boy thing all the girls do like that's the line that it seems to divide more than i have a thing
about that i want it depends on the age like at very young ages it's completely mixed i don't
think it i don't think there's a shift there until like seven or eight like even younger i remember
like two or three um hope had a bunch of guy friends right and then she's two or three don't
get it twisted and uh those boys were like wild indians they were screaming
around the house the layout of our apex house was that there was like a stairwell and you could run
in a circle around the steps that was like the floor plan so they're zipping around zipping
around just yelling and screaming or whatever hope is on the steps putting a hat on them as
they go by taking the hat off putting on the other one right
it's just way more chill as a girl than the boys were and and anecdotally that's my experience the
boys are just revved up oh it's not even like anecd like like i said a lot of my friends are
having kids and like all the all the friends i have with daughters who are like three four are
like like having conversations with the ones with
the sons and being like oh you guys have it so hard that little boy's running around look at my
little suzy she's just playing on the ipad doing this and you know the boy parents are like well
yours are going to get harder in the future we're getting our horrible years out of the way
early on so and i should note like i didn't i don't know i'm saying it weird but like
i didn't raise hope to be like girly like i didn't focus on t-sets and dolls and shit like that like
you know i i didn't focus on just girl things and and that's just she just was a girl yeah
yeah it's it's weird how that happens. It still is, actually. I phrased it weird.
It still is a girl. It's weird.
It's like you've got a girl, and she just likes to do traditionally girly things.
And I don't know who's been exposing her to this nonsense propaganda that she should like dolls.
She just does.
We think it's a mental illness we're working on.
It might be a psy-op.
I just liked Tonka trucks.
I love Tonka trucks.
They were my Bob.
I remember feeling more grown up
as a five-year-old
when I used my metal Tonka truck in the yard.
I'm past years of plastic.
I'm an adult.
I was a generation before you.
There were all kinds of toy trucks and stuff like that.
Tonka trucks were built to last back in my day.
They were amazing.
You could get your body in the bed of a pickup truck,
or it's a bigger thing, like a dump truck.
You could ride that shit down a hill as a five-year-old.
And it would hold up.
Any other truck, that thing thing smashed it won't do
you walk into the side of one of those metal tonka trucks your shin's gonna get cut which
um so so so let's flex on uh hex here because he didn't get toys growing up so like every year
that it used to be you zoomers don't know anything about this maybe but like i guess you do like it
but it's always a play state it's always a console now but back in the day like there was a hot item every christmas year and it wasn't another video game console like like now
that seems like the thing it's gonna it was a playstation 8 like like but back then it was like
oh no it's a tickle me elmo doll like every planet every parent is scrambling because they only
ordered three million of them and eight million parents want one this year and uh like like what
was the uh like like the quintessential like toy of this year and uh like like what was the uh
like like the quintessential like toy of the year that you got that was like the big deal like
please please get me the he-man sword with with like audio action the fucking thundercats
uh for me but the one gift to this day that i remember is my bike it was just like a bmx
uh and before that it was just like a bmx uh and before that it was
just like a bunch of socks and fucking i don't know shit unmemorable shit it wasn't toys though
some some were but it wasn't the ones that i wanted it was actually they would give me luchadors
you guys know the mexican yeah so they gave me those little wax those little wax figures instead
of fucking liono or chitara or fucking he-man and like
the shit that i was actually watching on tv it was but i'm still thankful for the shit that i got
yeah you probably needed the stuff you were getting that was just the situation
yeah it was as a kid you don't you don't see that shit yeah i appreciate the socks but i
really wanted that he-man cat do you know about the He-Man castle?
Yeah.
I never had the He-Man cap. All right.
So like, look, I was.
Soul stick.
Dude, I was super into He-Man.
I like the movie.
The movie got me into the cartoon at the age of like four or five.
Oh, wait, what?
That's weird.
Yeah.
So because it came, the movie came out like 86 and I was born in 86.
So like I'm, the movie's four or five years old when I watch it.
The cartoon's even older.
So, but I had all the shit.
And the He-Man castle was this
big fucking thing.
Oh, wonderful. You got... Yes!
Oh, that's Castle Grayskull, baby!
That's the door that falls, right?
Everything you see there, I had.
I had every...
Must be fucking nice.
You see that green fucking tiger with the helmet? I had. I had every... Must be fucking nice. You see that green fucking tiger with the
helmet? I had that bitch.
I think I had two of them and the other one was
a different color.
I had every ounce of that shit and
I had the fucking full-size He-Man
sword and when you hit
stuff, it made like
noises. It sounded like
a lightsaber kind of but
it was like an impact noise when you struck things with it.
It looked like the
He-Man sword, like how the
pommel and everything is there
and the guard or
whatever. I can still remember
being on the dining room table
smacking the chandelier
naked as a jaybird
screaming, I have the power.
I meant it, god damn it i had uh i had the uh the he-man that the the green tiger and the red shit but i had the he-man that had the the the
shield that was that uh that got destroyed so there's three sightings it was the full shield
the half shield and the destroyed shield and essentially what you did is it was like a wind
up thing where you would go all the way to the to the one and then when another enemy hit them
it would like trigger it to fall and flip can i just say i think my castle was better than that
one the more i look at it i think mine was a lot better because it had a slide on one side
where like they slid down a ramp and came out a door mine was way better are you are you thinking of the knight
castle where it was like those little plastic figurines of knights there were the silver knights
and the gold knights and it was a foldable castle like this no it was it was it was really big
though it was twice as big it had the castle gray skull like skull face on it at a drawbridge and
on the right side it had like a thing where they like slid down a ramp and like came out of door did uh did you have consistency in your battles for stuff like that like when you
were doing that what did no it was a hodgepodge because everybody got in on the everybody got in
um i remember like i had this weird memory of being like four and wanting my dad to like play
like with my army men like i had them set up right i had like the green army men
plus all the he-man shit like everything i had was like piled together and him being like that's
not really a game son i know he just had gotten off work and it's like he does not want to play
army men he wants to like go out but he's like i want to go i'm sure'm sure he was like, I want to go shoot a gun into the woods.
And I was probably like, fuck it.
Yeah.
No, I'm defending Grayskull.
I have this plastic sword.
Why would I bother with a shotgun?
I gravitated toward the gun.
So he was handing them to me at a very young age.
I was older, but my key present was a wetsuit.
So I was a surfer.
And surfing, where I grew up.
It's not just like an activity you do after school.
It's an identity.
It's a friend group.
It's a sense of self-worth.
It's everything.
And you cannot surf a New Jersey winter without a proper wetsuit.
Like you, I think you'd literally die.
Like it's not a thing that you can do.
And surfing was taken away from me as the weather
got cold and it was my christmas present and i just like i had wetsuits that weren't meant for
really cold weather you know like a spring suit or a fall suit and uh they just stopped doing the
job where literally you couldn't survive i couldn't do it wow and uh on christmas day i got a fucking pimp ass winter wetsuit that allowed me to it
snowed like and not even like a good beautiful snow it was like a sleety icy rain type snow
and i'm there in my bomb ass wetsuit like not even cold unzipping a little bit to let the snow
in because i'm melting in there and i went surfing in the slush water and it like it
was like i'm back baby what about your feet though i had booties for my feet i had a cap that gave me
a rash under my neck it looked like i had hickeys but trust me no girls were touching me
not with that rash it was it was like little scabs or something that would serve maybe the velcro rubbed it i don't
know but you needed a hoodie or you get this awful ice cream headache every time you duck
dived under a wave and uh but yeah they hooked me up with gloves hoodie booty and a wetsuit and uh
surfing was back mine was the uh the ghostbusters proton pack um i and i again i have a very vivid memory of being four or five years old and being
and explaining to my dad because i like i want a proton you know they ask you what do you want
proton pack like from ghostbusters the pack and my dad being like yeah yeah we'll get you one of
those because they made them as a toy back then like a legit one and uh and i i i i said now i don't want a toy
i i want you know a proton pack that shoots lasers so that you know i could i i can burn
stuff and and like you know how old are you this time did you also want to
i'm either four or five and and i'm, I'm trying to make it so clear to him because I can,
because I remember him being like,
yeah,
yeah,
we're going to get you.
We already told you,
we're going to get it for you.
Don't worry.
We're going to get it.
What he meant was he has it.
I didn't,
of course I didn't understand that at four or five,
but,
but,
but I was,
I can still remember trying to clarify that.
Like,
I don't want some bullshit piece of plastic.
I want a fucking proton pack,
but,
but like I got the proton pack
and they still talk
like, he was so rude.
We gave him this proton
pack. He pouted.
He pouted the whole night.
I was like,
no, you pulled that shit
that they pull now on kids where they put a
rock in a box and give it to them for
Christmas. I didn't tell you I wanted a toy i asked for a goddamn nuclear powered proton pack
to go waste some ghouls and goblins you couldn't have been any clearer all you had to say was those
don't exist son it's a science fiction movie and i'd have been like oh cool can i have a shotgun
i don't do the same. I just thought a proton bag was cooler.
I'm remembering a present.
I was looking through the most popular gifts of the 90s,
trying to jog my memory.
And I remember one of the most devastating gifts I ever received was one year.
It was probably 96.
So I'm like five years old.
And I can still, if I close my eyes,
I can see vividly the commercial
for moon shoes moon boots they were called there were purple plastic moon boots and they were like
around where your shoes were you would put your shoes on top of this little mini trampoline on
each side you would strap yourself in and these kids on the commercial were soaring they were
over cars and they were jumping over cars.
They were flying through the air.
And I remember my thought being like,
as I requested those for Christmas,
and I remember my thought being like,
now these are no joke, Taylor.
You got to be careful.
That's exactly what they were.
Look at the kids.
Look at the kids.
Look at the kids.
They're in space.
They're leaping among the stars.
And I got these, and I was a big five-year-old, six-year-old.
43 bucks.
That is ridiculous.
They should be seven.
I strap both feet in and immediately sink to the ground.
And you start to jump.
And what happens if you try and jump is because these have no balance whatsoever.
Your foot clips the inside rim of it as it's coming up,
and you damn near kill yourself sometimes trying to get a tiny amount of air.
And when you do get any air, God forbid,
you come clacking down on this hard plastic with no traction,
and you're on concrete because you're in your basement or whatever the fuck.
Flat-footed. with no traction and you're on concrete because you're in your basement whatever the fuck flat footed it was it was the the most like high in the sky so excited seeing that package to distraught
realizing i'd been had i think that was the first time i was like they can lie on tv like i didn't
know that i thought there must be a judge or something like measuring the height of these kids another one uh bop it bop it came out when i was like five or six and i remember thinking that was
cool but i didn't have the dexterity to bop it twist it and pull it fast enough to keep up at
like four or five or whatever play with a partner uh yeah we would cheat it would be like all right
i'm i'm on the i'm on the bop you hold the pull you hold the twist
and then we would do that that's a that's a great tip if you're uh uh if you're a guy put one of
those on your um your coffee table and if you want to like kind of break the ice with a girl
pretend like you're awful at that game and that you need her help you fail terribly in front of
her um she'll like that well i was planning on coming home soon, Cindy, but I'm going to fuck this retard out
of pity.
Let her beat you and bop it and then get her to
come over and then you can engage her physically.
Okay? That's part
of the dentist system. Make her depend on you
to win at bopping. Well, she's going to depend on you
because you let the air out of her tires by jumping
out the bathroom window when you take a piss
and you always want to unscrew the valve
stem. That way they can't just pump that bitch back up now you have their valve stem not that you've not
that you've thought about it that tool costs a dollar fifty you unscrew the valve stem and then
like when when a mechanic tells her oh my god you don't have a valve stem you need a you need a
whole new one and you can be like don't worry baby i'll fix it for you he doesn't know what
he's talking about now you alpha the mechanic in front of her. Jesus. You've never
thought about this before.
You got to go for dumb.
If you want to get back co-workers,
here's the move.
Unscrew the cap on their tire.
Put a rock in the cap.
Screw it back. Have it hold
down the valve stem just a little bit.
They have a very slow leak.
It's not timed to you at all. Oh, that's awful. And it's not destruction of property. It's just putting them just a little bit. They have a very slow leak. It's not timed to you at all.
And it's not destruction of property. It's just
putting them in a hazardous situation.
I guess so.
Hopefully you're not on camera.
We've thought about this before.
Be careful with those cameras.
Or if you're worried about that, just put birdseed
all over their car.
That's the real play. I love that clip.
They made it sound like
these kids were terrorists or something,
but they mixed laxatives in
with bird seed
and put huge
amounts of it out at the beach.
Then they film it to
music. It's like a musical montage
of birds shitting on people.
You're laughing
at it because it's hysterical right and then
i'd be curious infant who's like like like little baby baby like and it shits right on the baby's
head a little bad but you won't remember it but everyone like like don't imagine like occasionally
somebody's like oh what was that like everyone at the beach is staring at the sky and disgust
and wiping themselves because it's raining shit oh well i wouldn't want my day at the beach is staring at the sky and disgust and wiping themselves because it's
raining shit oh well i wouldn't want my day at the beach ruined i don't like it anymore oh it
ruined everyone's day i mean it's taylor it makes them shit their guts out it might kill them i
don't know like it was so much bird shit and they they like they could they couldn't stop
no they they had no choice but to keep shitting
and then die of dehydration later because not only have you eaten the laxative right they had
eaten like all of the bird seed that had been thrown out so they're you know it was they
overdosed on that shit man maybe so i want to talk about um the fucking halo tv show that came out
today fucking today i didn't know anything about it what platform paramount plus um you've all got
that right no no i'm just saying it's a service has these i actually went on watching a new show
it's on am it's on Voodoo. I have Voodoo.
Yeah, I've got a lot of them.
And this is on Paramount Plus,
which I have because Paramount Plus is where I get my Star Trek.
And it is... I didn't know it existed, first of all.
This is the Halo series.
The Halo series.
One episode is out.
It is one hour long.
I'm not going to heavily spoil it,
so don't run to the hills or anything. i'm going to mention some like interesting points that are
going to sell you on it so this thing starts out and uh they they are changing the story a little
bit for they're keeping some of the real important notes is this the one that costs 10 millions an
episode to make i think so yeah it looks like continue i heard something like that okay go go 10 million an episode it could fix esports with that shit it looks good so um they are focusing early on
clearly on so the purpose of the spartan program the met the program that you know created master
chief uh was to quell the uprising of all of the colonies that the UNSC has.
These guys weren't like alien killers.
That's why they were there and ready to fucking fight the Covenant
when the Covenant showed up.
We already had super soldiers built to quell these rebellions and uprisings
because the UNSC wants all the planets under their control.
If they need deuterium, then you, we own this planet.
That's not your deuterium. That's ours. You know, it's, it's, it's very much kind of a,
you can't get behind it a hundred percent. Like they're kind of the bad guys a little bit in this
thing. And, and, and that's always been part of the Halo lore, but that was in the past, right?
Master Chief is sort of at, he's the last Spartan left when you pick up with a master chief story and in the video games well this picks up at a different point and we get to
see um right off the bat like when you start what what i what will really throw me off is a lot of
if there's a lot of build up and like exposition scrolling text characters i'll give a fuck about
and right away there's a group of multi-ethnic teenagers
who are like the kids of the rebellion on a rebellion planet.
And they're going off to the woods to do drugs.
And I'm like, my arms are crossed and I'm huffing and puffing already
because I'm waiting on the big fat black one with the purple hair
to tell me my business or something.
And that's when the covenant
shows up and this show becomes so bloody and gory and child murdery that i'm clapping
because like the covenant that's all the it's the alien race it's it's how do the aliens look do
they look cool they look excellent i would i would i I would say an 8 out of 10 on the CGI
alien scale. At this point, you're rooting
for the Covenant. If they have the coolest
aliens. I was rooting for those kids
to die, and they did. And don't
worry, that's not too bad of a spoiler. This is five minutes
into the show. These were not important kids.
And I'm not talking about
how sometimes a kid gets shot and
the camera cuts away and there's a
bloodless body?
Children's legs fly off. Blood's everywhere.
They try to crawl away, but here comes the double tap to make them explode and leave a bloody crater.
They're on the way to the settlement where all the rebels are.
You get some real cool CGI.
They stay true to the video game with all the sound effects so when when like when body armor uh when the shield drops and he goes you know and then you hide and it goes
that whole like sound effect sequence the way the vehicles all sound um the way the guns sound
uh all that shit is like 100 not just true to the game but they just pulled the sound files
and used them and and so
like fans of the the series are going to love all that shit i think that um i can't remember if i
think one of the spartans is using the voice of uh one of the characters from the video game i'm
sure there's a lot of like nitpicky stuff like that where they tried to weave some game stuff
in that i didn't even pick up on because i'm not like a super halo expert but um i thought
it was excellent i don't want to like spoil the story at all but master chief is like right in
the middle of the story um so is the lady who ran the spartan program um and they're at a point in
the war where they haven't they've been like butting heads with the covenant a little bit
but it's not even like common knowledge what the covenant are yet like
it's not the war hasn't really popped off yet reach hasn't fallen yet the planet reach and um
that's where they may be like buggering a little bit with the timeline i don't give a fuck about
the timeline as long as you don't make master chief like a pussy or anything as long as like
a pink haired like spartan lady doesn't show up and like she's better than Master Chief suddenly somehow
like
I will say this
I mean in the
thumbnail or the cover art
Master Chief's helmet is off and by his side
so like he's gonna take that helmet
off just so you know
do you see the actor in the cover art
you don't see the actor in the cover art
no you see the face I saw the dude's face you like it you don't see the actor no you see the face i i saw the dude's face
okay you see it in the show and yeah yeah and i was i was sitting there waiting when he took it
and when i was like all right that works i mean i just saw the guy's face on on twitter just
looking it up he he kind of looks like how i would imagine Master Chief. Very soldier-looking guy.
Yeah, he's been on other shit, too.
The heads-up display is super cool.
I did like this one part where he looks at this little girl,
and the head goes, non-combatant, female.
And I wanted to be like, did Master Chief just assume her gender?
No, his computer did.
We need to have a whole movement that his like AI system is like assuming her gender there
because I'm not sure you get that one started
I'll jump
it's $4.99 to get Paramount
Plus right now I just opened it up on my
Apple TV and it's
like the first thing like they got
to be paying some cash right now because I opened
the app
the app app
and that's what came up
Master Chief $4.99 a month
cancel anytime
yeah so
it's just one episode that Paramount does
oh Pirate Bay
I think most of the stuff on Paramount does that stuff where
you know get an episode a week I watch
I think that's I don't know what else
I watch they're definitely Star Trek although i've quit star trek picard uh it's it's horse shit i refuse to watch season two
so uh i'm probably going to cancel paramount after i finish this halo thing uh i do that with a lot
of um those like streaming services like i'll have them long enough to like watch my show and then
get get out i just canceled a bunch of shit but uh but yeah it's definitely worth the watch
um the special effects are excellent the way the shield works like like the gunfights and stuff
um is the acting good i mean there hasn't you know the most of the conversations have been
between like oh the acting like back at home base like between like the military and the
scientists who are like part of the smartan program and running the military government stuff.
Yeah, it's excellent.
They're very good actors.
You'll recognize some of them.
They're professional actors that you've seen in stuff before.
You're digging it.
Yeah.
It looks pretty cool.
I don't know anything about the Halo.
I'm going to check it out for sure.
There's other Spartans.
Master Chief is part of a four-man team. So you've got a female one, a sniper guy, and a big guy who sounds black.
It sounds like a voice actor that I just can't put my finger on it.
But those three characters are cool.
There's some cool lines.
I wish I could remember one of them.
But there was this part where she's the lady who runs the Spartan program.
Oh, I don't want to spoil this.
So yeah, check it out. I i promise you you'll like it um when those plasma rifles
that the covenant had you know like like the like the one that shoot the blue balls they're so shitty
when you're actually playing the game because you're always shooting armored targets and stuff
but when you see them used against just assholes with ak-47s it just like turns them into liquid
like when they hit trees and like cover it like melts it it turns into goo that like so it's it's
pretty nasty the what's that one uh stinger the pink one that like it's all the oh we have a
needler needler that's what it is i can't that's what i'm saying like this shit is so bloody and
gory and like r-rated that the needlers got to be terrified.
I don't know. Maybe it's like a
clean solder wound.
They like blood.
One of the characters,
after about
10 minutes in, there's a character
who's completely drenched in blood
and she stays drenched in blood for the next
50 minutes.
This is a bloody show and i really appreciate that when you've got you know like super soldiers and there's
a good part in the beginning where there's characters talking about uh one there's they're
the rebels right there's the old crusty rebel and there's the young brand new rebel guy and they're
all playing poke around the table and and someone and and the the young guy's talking about spartans or something and the old guy's like you ever seen a spartan boy i've seen marines
marines i've seen marines spartans worth a hundred marines he's just like he's talking about how
they can't die they're invincible they're not even human. They're faster, smarter than you.
How many times did you watch the episode?
Once.
I watched it like an hour ago.
I watched it an hour ago.
We're an hour and 22 minutes into the show.
He's watching us.
They're like,
I am Master Chief.
While Woody was droning on about his wetsuit,
I finished up Halo. Well, what he was droning on about his wetsuit, I finished up Halo.
What I'm seeing now is
just...
However, I highly
recommend it. Do whatever you gotta do to watch it.
Steal it. Get on Paramount Plus.
Whatever. I wouldn't be surprised
if whenever they do a big thing
like this, often the first episode, they're like,
hey, everybody, look, episode.
They'll throw up somewhere for free. I'm'm surprised that it's not if it's not um but especially
i know he tried to reach out to you there was a little effort there i i'll i'll i'll try harder
to like connect with him maybe there's a message i need to go back to or something like that that
i missed but but that'd be cool um because i do pay a lot. But no, I don't mind paying for this
because so far, so good.
I know Cortana, they're not going to make bodacious
and sexy as fuck anymore for sure.
There's no way because Cortana is like a sex doll, right?
Is she?
I thought she was a computer.
Yeah, but she's shaped like a fucking sex doll.
She's shaped like...
You remember those early man carvings of like the female deity that's just like titties on a pair of hips like
that's the asses like like no way fertility doll like big ass big she's an hourglass and she's
beautiful they won't do that i guarantee shapelier than any human woman could be. Highly recommend it. Two thumbs up. Oh, Kyle.
Jorge Masvidal
has been in a scuffle with
Colby Covington.
Do you want to lay out this timeline or do you want me to take a shot?
Have you watched? Have you seen the fight?
I can condense it real quick.
So, quick things
to know. Jorge Masvidal,
Cuban gangster from Florida.
Colby Covington, white guy who plays the race
card to get views. They fought recently, fought 25 minutes. Colby dominated the fight. Jorge,
who's a striker, was not only outstruck, but completely outwrestled. It was said and done.
Jorge Masvidal has said in the past that his best punch is his sucker punch. And his second best move is his 50 yard dash because,
um,
real gangsters don't square up with people and say,
let's go outside and fight like men.
Cause that gets you shot.
According to him.
Um,
he says you sucker punch people and you,
you blindside them.
So sure enough,
he tracked Colby Covington down,
uh,
over the weekend,
um,
or this.
Yeah.
And, wearing a disguise, a mask and a hoodie. He ran up behind him. tracked Colby Covington down over the weekend. Yeah, and
wearing a disguise, a mask,
and a hoodie, he ran up behind him,
hit him twice in the face, and then ran off
into the night, and then
went on social media and admitted to it.
So now he's under
arrest, and he's probably out on
bond by now, but I think it's
aggravated assault and
something else.
by now, but I think it's aggravated assault and something else.
Scumbag.
Scumbag.
What I don't like about...
Oh, that's what happens when you talk about somebody's family.
Is it?
You go assault them in the street?
Maybe it is what happens.
But you know what happens next?
The timeline's important. Colby what happens next the timeline's important yeah
colby talked about masvidal's family before the fight to pimp the fight to brit like to sell the
fight i think it was march 3rd was when he did it and um and and you know he they say he talked
about his kids i'm a little confused he didn't talk about his kids very much he talked about
he said colby i sorry, he said that
Jorge Masvidal pimped out his wife or something
in a way I barely understood. I don't know.
It was convoluted. But he definitely talked about
the guy's family, his wife and his kids a little bit.
And he was trying to make
him mad, and he was trying to
get fans
to want to watch the fight.
Isn't that something that people agree to in the beginning?
Like, say, yo, alright. No? fans to want to watch the fight right isn't that something that people agree to like in the beginning like say yo all right like no i have 100 so at a base level there's always going to
be a little something there's gonna be like he thinks he could take me no way i'm going to i'm
gonna dominate i'm gonna make him look like the bitch he is that's like a level two like heater
yeah but but like that doesn't get anybody going anymore at all right
like oh i'm like you always say you want to dominate people tell me us you for me i'll
watch it for the mixed martial arts i really will like like i want i don't need to like the story
at all i usually fast forward through that yeah yeah i can't but for a lot of people i think they
need that that wrestling crowd they need to know why Colby Covington
doesn't like Jorge Masvidal. They need
Colby Covington to throw out that racist
dog whistle. They need to know that he's
one of them, even though he's not.
They need to see him wearing the MAGA hat and be like,
alright, he's our team, and we got a brown guy
that he's making fun of. This is
perfect. This is perfect.
And this is exactly what WWF
was with, like, when we had the Iranian
whole thing with
you know
bring out the fucking Iron
Sheik and guess who's going to face
off against him? Hulk fucking Hogan
living in America. He came
out with an American flag. Iron Sheik
wore that headdress and everything.
So yeah.
But doing that
and sometimes it's
completely fabricated and sometimes it begins as fabrication but one guy goes so hard that the
other guy's real issue is the things that his opponent has said during the build-up he's like
i never had an issue with you before we started pimping this fight and you started going and
saying these awful things now i do hate you now i and sometimes it goes like that but then there's instances like conor mcgregor
where he just would say horrific things as soon as he decided he wanted to fight you or maybe if
he knew someday he might want to fight you he would go and plant the seed of not liking you
so uh they fought colby covington beat him in the octagon if the fight was 25 minutes i want
to say colby looked better for 23 of them something like that and uh i didn't watch it
he absolutely dominated the fight no one had any question that he won all five rounds that like
there was never there's not a media person or fan at the end colby was like teeing off from on top
and and like when he got up colby's gas tank is fucking huge incredible yeah colby could have kept
going as if they done if they done around six seven eight nine ten it ends with masvidal dead
if they just keep rolling the rounds out until somebody's dead or somebody taps then then
masvidal either taps or dies like one of those things happens you know if we're going to the
death and masvidal is going to die tonight like that's how it gets worse for him yeah yeah yeah
um so but yeah he committed a crime and like like uh it wasn't right when connor hit that old man
but like i think that's funny for some reason because the old man i don't give a shit about
him and and you know what you know what like tell me i reason because the old man, I don't give a shit about him.
And you know what?
Tell me I'm wrong.
That old man said something smart to Connor.
100%.
He didn't want to drink.
Connor was insisting that he drank his whiskey
and the old man was like, no.
Weren't they in Ireland?
Yeah, I think so.
At a bar?
I think so, yeah.
That's literally an insult.
So really, he's lucky he got out of there alive.
I just put two and two together.
That's literally an insult.
Like a celebrity just said, hey, everyone have a drink of liquor here in Ireland while we're at the bar.
And the guy was like, I don't want your bloody liquor.
And something like that went
down and he's like why not he probably said you know because you're a cokehead piece of shit you
haven't won a fight in six years about the weird one right now and connor was like
he was uh he was my favorite fighter like growing up uh matt hughes was fucking obviously illinois
dude so obviously he was like my favorite for a very long time very very very long time um
but connor like connor captured my my you want a new guy you want to know who your new guy is
uh my new guy now if you want to like brand new guy it's patty the baddie oh yeah the the yeah
he's like he's like who fucking wants i don't want a six-pack i just want to be fucking eating
and be happy yeah he's like yeah yeah i like that guy a lot yeah i love that guy um yeah i i more
than he's got a hype person and i love that when somebody's got a hype person because like i think
her name is megan mcmahon she was the fight before him and she's the one who put that spinning back elbow on that
and sent her to another plane of fucking existence like eyes eyes any if if you're a dude
you're fucking i mean how do you think she could do that i mean if she got that hit exactly the
same speed exactly the fuck out anybody anyone right anyone's
gone so hard yeah so bro it felt like you never see those like that's the kind of move that in my
head when you like imagine yourself as a ninja fighting five people you catch one of those right
the guy right behind you that you hit with that batman elbow she nobody ever hits those though
people duck because it's i don't know i guess when you're close, it's slow when you see it coming and you just go under it.
No, she caught her so well with
it and sent her out. Well, she's, in her
post-fight, she's
hyping Patty the Batty.
They
hype the fight before they hype the fight.
Because she was doing it. She was
like, yeah, I just knocked that
bitch the fuck out. But I'll tell you what I'm
excited about. Patty the fucking body. A I'll tell you what I'm excited about.
Party the fucking body.
Party the fucking body is coming out here.
With her disgusting fucking Liverpool accent.
She's like, what I want to hear is, oh, party.
And the whole crowd knows this chant and joins in.
Hell yeah.
And the whole 30,000 people are like, oh, party the body.
And then it comes out. The out knew the chant like i i
i'm never here for these group lessons like whenever they taught the patty chant the electric
slide i don't know how does everyone know this where was i and that is a panicking feeling being
at a wedding and realizing you don't fully know the electric slide you're like oh no i'm in the middle of the sidestep i'm gonna be
which one we go next i don't i don't know where i learned it but that uh the achy breaky heart
shit oh yeah yeah i know that one i mean i don't even know it anymore but
elementary school uh anyway the patty batty when he's coming out like the megan mcmahon girl or
whatever her name is like she was she had asked dana white if she could come out and he was like
yeah she can come out she can sit in my and you know with me in my extra chair so she's next to
dana drunk as fuck already yeah she's drinking yeah yeah and she's like when he's coming out
she's like yeah like like legitimately losing her shit he comes out and like judo throws the guy like
something out of a james bond movie and fucking chokes him the fuck out in the first round and
then he does some sort of like silly little dance and and like had a great post fight himself and uh
it was excellent i'm i'm sold i don't think he's a good he's a very good fighter i was gonna ask
you kyle like because you guys are all much more familiar. Do you think he's a guy that's going to get put up
against a real hitter and just get
fucked?
What organization did he come
from?
It's one of the
silly ones.
It's like the American
World Series of Fighting.
It's one of those.
That's the point. They say he fought tougher people in the World Series of Fighting than right. It's one of those that are like that. That's the point.
And they say he fought tougher people
in the World Series of Fighting than he has in the UFC.
They're giving this guy fights that he can win.
They say.
I've never heard of any of his opponents,
so I don't know how good they are.
I've watched four of his fights.
I don't know who his opponents are.
What I've seen from him in particular
is he's had some really cool submissions,
and his striking is really fun,
creative, and a bit
unorthodox. He's throwing
lots of knees in the clench.
He's got those knees that require
that really crazy hip
dexterity or whatever. I've never seen his
haircut on someone over 18 months
before. Not since the Beatles.
I've seen that a bunch.
Yeah, yeah.
He's a fun
character. He's got a sling blade haircut.
Can you pull up
Patty the Batty, Zach?
He's a really genuine
guy. He only made $25,000
off that fight.
I think he got a fight of the night bonus.
He had 12 to show,
12 to win.
He cuts his own hair.
He looks like that guy from
The Inbetweeners.
12 to show, 12 to win. That's 24.
I think he got a $50,000 bonus.
He looks like that dude from
Matt TV.
Stewart.
Yeah.
Look what I can do.
He's so dumber than me.
That dumb and dumber is going on right there.
He's got a little hairy.
Jeff Daniels?
Yeah, like hairy.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, that's a rough hairstyle.
But I mean, that's part of the reason I guess people like him.
100%.
It already is.
They wear wigs that look like that.
But the reason I want to talk about him
isn't that
any of the things we've mentioned already. It's that
he's the draw.
He's the fan favorite. He's the reason
that crowd was going crazy that night.
He was the people's main
event.
I've heard that said before, but it's like,
yeah, kind of.
I think there was a night maybe where
I'm misremembering that, but he was definitely the people's main event here
and it and to get paid so little it's it's like afterwards they were like do you think it's time
to step up and fight some real competition you know someone in the top 12 15 he's like it's like
absolutely not for that little check for that little check y'all gave me no i don't think so keep feeding them to
me and like that's what i want look when did he say that because he said that long before the
fight is he fighting it also that's his yeah that's when he's sitting at the desk and everything
he's at 145 i'm not 100 sure i think he's at 145 and if that's the case that is a murder look there
are no easy weight divisions in there now
that i think about it it's not like 155 would be easier so it doesn't fucking matter everywhere is
scary this guy we don't want to see this guy try to be the champion this year next year the year
after that feed him eight more like middling guys the way they did khabib for years apparently
and and like let's have some fun watching how this kid does post fight yeah and make people
spin through there.
He jumps on people's heads mid-air and puts them in triangle chokes.
Love that.
Does flying shit.
Give him some more crash test, dummies, and let's have some fucking fun.
And pay him $100K a fight.
He'll be happy with that.
He's got a seven-digit sponsorship deal, so he's okay.
Yeah, Zach found it first.
$155K, which is often regarded as the
toughest weight class terrifying i think it's the toughest although heavyweight right now has had
some sort of weird resurgence there's a renaissance in the heavyweight division heavyweight has always
sucked traditionally there's like three people you care about now that number is like eight and
care about now that number is like eight and yeah speaking of the are you gonna talk about the thor thing no but i was gonna say speaking of ufc speaking of heavyweights man free kane velasquez
man no we can't free kane velasquez wait is he he's in jail? Yeah. Yeah, his name's Velasquez. Someone line it up.
So Cain Velasquez.
I want to hear what Kyle has to say, too, of course.
Beat someone up, right?
Or did he shoot him?
All right, so here's what happened.
I know the whole story.
There we go.
Cain Velasquez, like four or five-year-old daughter or something,
was molested by this man over 100 times.
And the man.
Not daughter.
I'll look it up.
You get it right. Yeah, and the man daughter do it i'll look it up you get it right yeah and uh the man
was released on bond the the molester was um for an for a different molestation i believe um but
but it could have been this one he had and uh cain velasquez got into a car chase after this man
um one of the main and client cain had a gun that he was firing at the man. I believe he fired three shots.
And one of the shots
struck the molester's
brother or brother-in-law,
I don't know that it matters, who was in the passenger side
of the vehicle, in the leg.
Some sort of non-life-threatening gunshot
injury. Kane was taken into
custody, denied bond,
and I believe
the charges are pretty extensive because of the car chase
and attempted murder yeah when you say no it is what it is so um when he decided that he was going
to grab his gun and go chase after a child molester he had pretty much decided that he was forfeiting
the rest of his life then and there he had made that decision he could have as a former heavyweight champion right gone to put his hands on this man and that
could have been understood he could have waited to this thing he had the weapon also though that's
bullshit everybody's a deadly weapon right like like it's not like if i knock a guy out of the
bar and he dies they're gonna be like well look at him he's not he's not he's not he's not even
trained that well what are you you, a white belt?
Get out of here, you.
You killed somebody with your hands. You're a deadly weapon.
You just proved it.
So I thought I had read that it was
like his niece or something,
but I'm seeing
daughter like Kyle said, so I might have been
wrong. I'm not sure.
That's a horrible situation.
I mean, the crime i think here
is that he didn't hit the fucking molester of course it is well i'm all right so that's not
that would have been better if he had look there's plenty of precedent for a father taking
premeditated revenge on his child's molester and the court understanding and assigning a sentence and
then nullifying the sentence in one way or another legally giving them seven years and then suspending
the sentence giving him five years of probation that guy in the airport that classic clip i did
that that was his sentence by the way it was seven years suspended sentence plus five years of
probation i believe that's what they gave they gave him and this is a man who sat and wait for his son's molester to walk past him at an airport in custody and dude have you ever here's
how he shot like like he's holding a phone booth phone to this ear he's doing this so his elbow is
up here he gun hand under the elbow under the the elbow, but from this position, bang, shoots the guy in the head like 12 feet away.
It was some fucking trick shot.
Oh, this is a different video than the one I saw.
Yeah, this is a different video.
I do remember the one where there's a guy on the phone booth, just the way you described it.
He sees the guy coming.
Once he passes, he extends his arm and fully discharges.
Yeah, but then there's like the guy who's yelling.
He's extending it under his other arm, though.
He's not like running at the line of sight.
Dude, if that, I don't think.
That?
Yeah.
I promise.
Really?
I got to find that.
I want to see it.
I hope what you're saying is real
because I want to see some badassery.
He was a badass.
Anyway, what I'm saying is like,
there's a perfect example of the exact same shit happening
and the guy going people.
The legal system will understand that you all if you go to a trial, there's going to be some parents on that on that jury and they're going to fucking understand beating your child molester death or shooting your child molester to death.
They're going to have a real tough time with this whole.
real tough time with this whole i chased him and two innocent people down the highway and i recklessly fired my handgun at at their vehicle striking this that and the other and the only
person i actually hit was the innocent individual blah blah blah blah by the way it's not as if i'm
some like weakling who had to choose a gun for his method of
revenge. Because if he's
some little guy, or a woman,
if a woman had done it, you'd be like,
look, how else was she going to get revenge?
And we all understand this revenge.
You might put those pieces together.
But when you look at Cain fucking Velasquez,
he's just a goddamn
monster. And it's like,
man, why didn't you just go put hands on this guy
like you could have killed this guy
and you could have instantly been like I blacked out
I don't know what happened
and they'd have been like
look he only hit him three times
like you'd have gotten like some manslaughter or something
and they just suspended the sentence
but instead
he literally went on a
shooting rampage
and you can't do that.
For that reason, I say that he's guilty
and maybe not attempted
murder, but he's guilty.
He did some bad things and he should be in jail.
I wish he hadn't done the bad things.
I wish he hadn't done those bad things.
I feel like if your daughter's been molested
it's okay to shoot the molester's friends
I'm not there yet
I'm not there yet
is that what he did right
well this assumes a cabal
of molestation
it's possible the other guy is like
what did you do to this guy
I thought we were going to sonic and to see the new batman
did you guys watch the new batman i haven't watched it yet impressed i haven't watched
yet please don't spoil anything no no we're not we're not i haven't watched it either so i couldn't
even if i wanted to i'm going to watch it soon or or like buy it or whatever we gotta do because
i've been meaning to watch it.
Very overhyped in my opinion.
That's coming from someone who hates comic book
fucking movies. You don't know
who Tony Stark is.
This is a different world. I know who Batman is
and I know who Iron Man is.
Dude, okay.
He's like, I know who Iron Man is.
I don't know this Tony Stark person that you speak of.
Yeah.
And then there's the guy from... I know who Iron Man is. I don't know this Tony Stark person that you speak of. Yeah. And then there's the guy from...
I know the characters.
The guy from Barks and Rack. He's part of it.
He's got you there, Kyle.
It wasn't a terrible movie by any means.
It's just underwhelming.
It didn't feel like anything was at stake.
Hutch, and you guys know him, obviously.
He's dying on the cross that he predicted way before he even watched the movie that this was going to be the
best batman movie that had not only the best batman movie that has ever been but the best
superhero movie that has ever been created and he won't back down no matter how many people watch
if he'll if he'll apply some qualifying like factors,
then I could get on board with the possibility that that's true.
Like,
like I don't think if we're saying,
cause this is like an origin story type thing.
If you're saying like,
if you're saying that,
if we're comparing this to like the first captain America,
the first iron man and,
and all the other like first Batman's in the series,
maybe or something
like that i could see that fourth time convention is not only the best batman film of all time
he's the top five comic book film of all time belongs up there with logan yeah winter soldier
so tdk the dark knight that's the one with heath ledger yeah i watched that with my wife after i
saw the new batman to be like am i being recency bias here am i like given
this one like i'm putting it on a pedestal no the one with the joker is markedly better it's
way better than than this one it just is okay i mean i haven't seen it i have no fucking idea but
um that's super high praise coming from from hutch uh i i you know but he he likes superhero
movies and stuff i do not so obviously we're gonna have he likes superhero movies and stuff. I do not, so obviously we're going to have
artsy movies. I mean, maybe he likes
this because he's built kind of like Robert Pattinson.
Bro, that's
what I said. I'm like, you as a skinny
dude, you want a skinny
Batman so you can be like, yeah, we're in style.
You know what?
I think Screech was the coolest guy on
Saved by the Bell. I'm just saying.
I don't know why he didn't get
all the girls. I'll tell you what I like.
I like the Batmobile. I saw
a little clip of the Batmobile, or a picture
of it or whatever, and it just looked like a fucking hot rod
or something. Like a Camaro
and threw some shit on it. I like that.
In this movie, Batman
wears boots that you'd get at Cabela's.
Why wouldn't you, though?
Is Batman supposed to be
doing...
I don't know. There's so much money applied to
special stuff.
No, you're right.
I think this is an early version of Batman.
You watched the movie. I didn't.
It doesn't fucking matter. The Christian Bale Batman,
they did a really good job of explaining the gadgets,
I thought. He is
a defense contractor, and these are all
failed little projects.
That's what the car looks like?
Yeah.
It looks like a toy car.
I think that literally is a toy car.
Well, that explains everything.
Unless it's a very plastic-faced
man.
You can tell with a toy man inside.
Speaking of, and I don't know so apparently batman wore air jordan the black cats which i'm trying to who was michael keaton
in 1992 wore air jordans as his uh bat shoe, they didn't say that they were Jordans.
Those are the shoes that they used for this thing.
Anecdote.
I want to see it.
I've been putting it off.
I don't know why.
I've been busy.
The other thing I need to see is that new Spider-Man movie.
So good, bro.
I just don't want to pay $20. I don't want to like buy a digital movie i just want to
rent that bitch like why don't you go to the theater you you love theaters and stuff i haven't
been to the theater in a long time dude like do you have your own theater in your house no no i've
got a big ass tv and a blacked out room but uh i don't have a theater or anything but but like i
haven't been to the theater much since.
I'm trying to remember the last movie.
I definitely saw the last Avengers movie
because that was before I went to prison.
I remember walking into that hot ass theater
stressed about going to prison
in two weeks or something like that.
Being like, this is the last
fun thing I'll probably do.
This is my endgame.
Dude, that sucks, man. yeah oh man that was the worst that was so awful i i have nightmares of that all the time not all the time but like
at least once a year i'm like i did something really bad and we go to jail and then i'm like
what it's in there somewhere what have i done what have i done yeah i just remember like like we
stopped at a zaxby's um and what's that it's a chicken restaurant like chicken fingers and fries
um we were like three miles from the prison and we stopped there to like eat because we had like
an hour to kill and i was just the most miserable meal killing time before prison. Oh, I had had no sleep the night before.
And we had gotten Kitty wanted to go with me.
So Kitty and a friend drove us.
And I was just in the back of the car trying to get sleep, like laying down because I'd been up all night, like trying to sleep.
But I couldn't sleep.
And we stopped at that Zaxby's.
And that was just the most miserable, like chicken finger lunch. And and i was just like this is the last thing i'll have oh man
dude it makes me it stresses me out to like empathize and put myself in that situation
and then they drive me up to the fucking prison um i'm like i'm like give me give me some
cigarettes i'm smoking her cigarettes out there i Like burning them fucking down, like trying to get some stress relief.
And I'm like, yeah, I go in right there.
And I go up right there.
And the guy's like, yeah, you don't come in here.
You go in over there.
And I'm like, already, we fucked up.
We got to go somewhere else.
That's an extra month.
Yeah.
And, you know, just finally get again there and trying to, like, feel the guards out while I'm waiting on the metal detector being like
being like
what's it like here?
I want to
really pitch in and do my part.
Shut the fuck up!
He just like punches me
in the face immediately.
In your
heart of hearts, you were walking into prison had any part of you
thought out cool lines to say to what you anticipated they the other prisoners would ask
about like why i was there like what you're in for like yeah what are you in for like like
a cool like i'm an i'm a cool guy i'm a chill guy i'm a nice guy like that kind of approach i i just think i'm
better off my on my feet with stuff like that so i didn't i i um you know i i knew that there were
certain things that i didn't want to say it was the it was the other way around i thought of things
that i didn't that i want to make sure i didn't say or ask so you i'm not i'm not a youtube i'm
not him yeah i want to go in there like... The guards recognized me
so that was a thing right away.
It was more
a list of things that I didn't want to say or ask.
I didn't want to go in there and ask anybody about
what are you in for?
It might be a touchy fucking subject.
For raping someone who asked.
Little things like that.
That night before was so goddamn stressful so goddamn stressful oh my god that whole week leading up to it i i mean for a long time leading
up to it was just like man these days barely matter would you ever wake up and it didn't feel real in prison no no like pre-prison like the the coming punishment
oh it felt real as shit like like like what i guess maybe it's just the way that i like
wrap my head around things like like i always i've told that story before about
like getting home from jail that first night of jail and taking a piss in my own bathroom
and uh like having the hot water running next to me and and being like
today is the first day of me getting through the shit i did yesterday
and there are going to be a lot of days between now and the end but the end day involves me
sitting on a couch and there's a bong on a coffee table at the end of this.
And I don't know how long there is between me and that bong, but we've just got to we got to eat.
We got to grind that shit the fuck out.
And it ended up being like three and a half, four years.
Yeah, it's like a felon's tale.
It ended up being like about four fucking years.
Like a hobbit's tale, but a felon's tail it ended up being like like about four fucking years um like a hobbit's tail but but a felon's tail takes there and back again a felon's tail so whenever i but so i was happy
with the sentence like i was happy with the two months like it wasn't it could have been six
months and it could have been five years of probation and it was two months and two years of probation which was all tolerable but but painful nonetheless
i felt it was look i didn't think anything was just or fair about the whole thing it wasn't
although i was because of your youtube shit yeah more yeah so in the end like though like like
it was like i wasn't heavy-handed and that that also wasn't nothing it just like
i wasn't crying i i walked outside and it was like a sunny day and i was like shaking hands
my lawyer and smiling and i got in my car and i called my dad and i was like good news he didn't
know my sentencing was that day i didn't tell anybody um i i like whenever something's like
stressful or whatever like i shield everybody else from that stuff.
Me talking about it
ain't going to make me feel any better.
Anybody who thinks that,
it's like, what, do you want me to cry?
Do you want me to fucking cry about it?
Why make everybody else fucking stressed around you?
Yeah, I do that too.
I had a conversation.
You're not.
I had one conversation with my parents
around the holidays.
No, it would have been maybe like 4th of July or something like that. I had one conversation with my parents around the holidays or no,
it would have been maybe like 4th of July or something like that.
I hadn't been sentenced yet,
but sentencing was coming up regardless of the timeframe.
And I told him,
you know, I was like,
you know,
this thing's coming up.
I might have to do some time.
I might have to go away for like two or three or four years.
I was like,
at the worst case,
I don't think that's what's going to happen,
but that's what I'm prepared for.
And so I went in prepared for three or four years. I was like at the worst case, I don't think that's what's going to happen, but that's what I'm prepared for. And so I went in prepared for three or four years.
And at the last minute, like things had shifted dramatically in my favor behind the scenes.
And now the worst thing that could happen was six months. And that's the news I got on that day.
And, uh, and I just had watched the judge give a Mexican guy who had been driving a truck of liquid methamphetamine across the border into Atlanta.
He was part of a ring of guys, and they had basically put him away for the rest of his life.
It was like decades, decades.
And that did not feel good to see.
That was scary shit.
So anyway, I was like when i was like dad good news
i got two months and it's gonna be two months and like not a scary place like maybe even in a halfway
house like like i was i was pumped about the the verdict or the the dude you're just man fuck man
i just my chest got tight listen fucking four years oh you want your chest to get tight
listen to this one there was a day all right i'm in bed with my girlfriend it's like
i i don't know what it doesn't matter what day of the week is it's like 9 a.m the sun's coming
up through the windows we're kind of sitting up in bed talking about what kind of breakfast to order
like talking about what we're going to do that day.
My phone rings.
My heart just started beating.
My phone rings and it's the Athens County like federal court.
And they're like, Mr. Myers, where are you?
You are supposed to be in courtroom number three.
We have called you four times.
And I'm like like that sinking feeling in your stomach today is like i don't remember exactly what we're doing
that day but it's there are no not important days in federal court these are essential like
this is one of this is like step two of three or four.
None of these are not important steps.
And so I think I call my lawyer and he's like, yeah, they messed up.
Don't worry.
Get in here as fast as you can, though.
Because I don't know.
He said somebody messed up.
Get in here as fast as you can. That's all I got.
So I think I'm in a tremendous amount of trouble. So in here as fast as you can. That's all I got.
I think I'm in a tremendous amount of trouble. No shower.
Fucking suits going on. Can't find
my belt.
Can't find the right tie.
I'm in a suit and out
the door in seven minutes.
We're driving.
I can't speed on the way to my
fuck.
I'm in the car and i'm just like
do i have my id like like i don't like do i have my money do it like i i'm seven minutes ago i was
fucking like groggy and thinking about what kind of coffee to have where i wanted americano or
whatever the fuck and now and now i'm like apparently heading to some sort of sentencing
guideline nonsense or something and uh when i got there thank god the
prosecutor god rest her soul she said i'm so sorry my bad uh my people should have done this and i
was so happy because you know how cops can be sometimes when they're in the wrong but but you've
got to take the brunt of it like i've literally seen cops rear end people and like get out like show me your hands like are you out of your mind but she was she was like whatever the
error was it was on her end she apologized and i was like don't apologize to me just let me know
everything's okay like i don't care and she's like no everything's fine the judge knows everyone
knows it's not your fault i was like good just good good i was so
fucking scared i'm in that i'm this like ill-fitting suit because i just like grabbed
shit like i'm like like it's like this jacket that shirt that tie pants do i need the pants
jeans my jammies could work no not your jammies all right fine it was it was so i was so fucking
scared getting dressed i was so fucking scared getting dressed
because like i thought you're late man you're already like you're already fucked up in your
head and like i'm supposed to be there now and i still have to drive there and you're worried it's
going to be on some judge report where they're like oh this person clearly doesn't take their
rehabilitation seriously whatsoever that's the exactly and there are people in the system who
do that and those are the those are the those
are the cases you hear about they get maximum sentencing guidelines it's like yeah he spit on
the judge and told them to stick it up their ass they gave him this that and the other well on the
other end there's guys who just like don't show up show up late and shit and they don't show they're
serious about this whole thing oh my god i was so scared that i was i'm like going to prison now we might i was afraid they might be like all right well he's in contempt
of court um uh when uh let's let's put out a bench warrant on him you know he's he's like like oh he's
a he's a he's a fugitive now maybe even because you know i'm i've been released by the federal
marshals like before the federal
like i was i was there was a process one day where i go into a federal building and surrender
and i did the thing where i put my hands up as a joke to try to start off on a good foot
and nobody laughed and then they just took my dna my my fingerprints and like my passport which i still haven't gotten back nobody nobody laughed no
it was and it wasn't a situation where it would have been awkward to laugh they were like it was
me and two guys like in a little room and they're like taking my dna swab i was like i surrender
they're like better check my ass officer that's the plan sir bend over you know you know how like like those reddit things would be like
and then everyone and everyone clapped yeah it was like and no one clapped like like it did not
go over well um but but yeah i've like surrendered myself to the u.s marshal thing and like they'll
come after me if i go running yeah that was a stressful fucking day that was nonsense yeah it is bro that i i tell you i have uh just bad dreams it's either
that or i'm back at corporate work and i'm just like terrified prison was very similar to corporate
work everybody we had cubicles um very regimented yeah fluorescent lighting yeah i wonder if they still use so i i know i know hex has to bounce
but i wanted to ask you something about your your weed company real quick so like the the strains
like yeah obviously the name is just you know whatever you think is the best marketing for it
for the actual strains themselves like were you sitting down and like a lab chemist or something
was like all right we got 10 here sample all 10 you get back to us with which one what you like
what you don't like and then like you kind of whittle it down until you have your like creme
de la creme is that how yeah so season one uh we had a blueberry haze chem driver grapes and cream
peanut butter breath and camera serve and modified mint was season one all right and yes that's
exactly how i went i was in the in the hills of i was in the hills of beverly and we wanted to
record the process and i had to taste everything right to make sure that you know which which ones
i liked the most so we started with one um i think it was modified mintsints, maybe? No, Kush Mints was the...
Let's just say this. I fucking smoked
three bong rips after
20 years of having smoked
out of a bong on camera.
It was the highest I've ever been.
I was so high, I understood infinity.
I understood...
To the core of my being,
I understood what
infinity meant.
It was a good experience. I haven't been that high. The last time, and maybe it's the bong
rips, but last time that I was that high was about a month ago when I was
smoking a new strain that we released called Chocolatina.
It tastes great, looks great,
but man, I took a hit it was like a i don't know like a foot
or what not even a one foot it's like a six foot fucking little bubbler and i and i smoked half of
a bowl i took two hits and i didn't clear the bowl let me put that let me put it like that okay
yeah i didn't clear the fucking bowl and i was immediately everything just became 3d on top of 3d like paper like it was
and and it wasn't like in i'm describing what i saw it wasn't like actual paper mache 3d fucking
figures to just what what i experienced it was it was uh it was a good time it was a good time
you got a great get you got a couple awesome gigs yeah right yeah dude it's awesome every every business video games and pot yeah
it's deeper than that right because it's like uh the businesses that i'm involved in
gaming obviously you know that well you guys know pine park with cannabis uh you guys know
uh but i i also am part of a business called guganuggen Baits, which is a fishing company started by Rob Turkle.
You know him, Woody, from UMG, veteran sniper.
Anyway, I advised him a little bit in the beginning about how I would do the thing.
Anyway, long story short, that's another one.
I love fishing.
I love bass fishing, and I'm involved in a bass fishing company. So, yeah story short, that's another one. I love fishing. I love bass fishing and I'm involved in a
bass fishing company.
So yeah, super psyched about it. Right now, I'm also
involved in this company called Good Good Golf.
I'm not a golfer myself, but I
am a YouTuber and I understand what it takes
to be that sort of YouTuber or that sort of success in that
field.
If I'm going to
be having fun, I better be making money while
I'm having fun. Otherwise, what fun is it? Yeah, good yeah good philosophy well it's good catching up with you man it's been too
long next time we'll be hearing about your salsa company yeah no no this is uh pine park is the
last one the last uh company that i found uh and i start that's it it's optic from here and
forever and ever and ever that's my. But I hope to come back sooner
than later, man. Like next month,
you know, something.
So I can tell you guys all about
all the good shit that's happening. I want to hear more
from you guys. For sure, man. For sure, man.
Thank you so much for coming on. Always great having you.
Always a pleasure. We'll catch up
soon. Thanks so much. Thanks, man. Sounds good.
Later, Hex. Peace, peace.
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This episode also brought to you, of course, by Lock and Load,
the finest cum pills available to anyone on this planet.
And we've said before, you can use our code PKA, 20% off this product,
also 20% off any other of Derek's products.
And I know Kyle's been getting
shipped Derek's products
for longer than Woody or I,
but they've been sending us a lot of stuff
and testing it,
seeing what we want to recommend,
seeing what we don't want to recommend
if we don't like something or if we do.
The Nitric pre-workout without the stim
is tremendous. It is the best. Yeahric pre-workout without the stim is tremendous
it is the best yeah if you want to do the stim go woody's way if you want no stim and you want
to do your own cup of coffee or whatever go the no stim way it's great and that glycerol stuff
that he sent me noticeably bigger pump when i take that i'm also pissing more, I will say. Does it? Yeah. A bigger pump.
I'll just add.
It seems like it would make your dick bigger, right?
I mean, if you're going to have more blood flow.
It might.
I haven't done research on that.
But I can tell.
We need to explore.
You know, you're in the middle of a big back day or something.
You get that nice, tight, your back's working like the back i love that feeling and with like the glycerol like
it just feels tighter you know what i mean like i feel like the mind muscle connection is a little
better but you know even derrick is like this is totally extra this is something that you can add
on top of stuff it's probably it's not a huge deal but but I like it a lot. But mainly, if you're only getting
one thing other than the Lock and Load, get the Nitric
pre-workout or the one Woody
recommends. Yeah, I like his sleep stuff.
Look,
if you need one of these
products, then buy them from Derek is all we're saying.
Yep. Because they're real. They have
high quality shoes.
I was about to start,
but then this thing I used is real good.
Like everything I use from his,
like,
like I fixed my cholesterol with one of his products.
Like I,
my,
my pre-workout is one of his,
my,
the stuff I take before bed is one of his things.
Like I take his shit for just about everything.
I want to try his protein.
You use his protein powder,
right?
I use a medley.
Like,
like I,
I can't just use the same one over and over but i
have a thing of his chocolate peanut butter that i do like it's good okay yeah i'll have them send
me some i i have so many fucking met rx shakes i need to get through oh yeah did you ever get
through all that la croix that you had and like like piles and piles or whatever it was you had
like oh i've gone through piles since then my friend i like these
spin drifts they're the best sparkling waters out there if we get a sparkling water sponsorship it
has to be from spin drift because it's not it's not that shit i had a friend i was hanging out
with just the other day no this is uh this is raspberry lime sorry it's got raspberry lime
juice i have a friend who came over and he was like i was like
you want a water or something he's like i just want regular water i don't want that fucking
carbonated shit it tastes awful it tastes like someone like suggesting a flavor near you as
you're drinking it like someone's like i heard i saw a tweet from like years ago where someone's
like drinking lacroix is like drinking sparkling water and someone in the other room yells lemon
but like and that's how most of them are these ones because they have real fruit juice in it
it actually has more kick and it's really good like these ones aren't zero calories this is
five calories so the lemon ones are three how many canned beverages would you say you drink a day
uh it varies wildly but like there are times if I get like stoned to shit late at night i will go
through eight zevias and yeah three or four uh cans of water and then other times i just fill
up like this giant thing and just drink regular water but i just love it it's a it's like a little
creature comfort that i've come to enjoy so much like i'm sitting there like watching it's like
oh am i gonna get a drink of water oh i'm gonna have a little flavored water that's i watched
i watched this video the other day where these guys took a ton of aluminum cans and they forged
them into this big puck of aluminum and uh i watched that too and it made me and i it reminded
me i was first of all i'm not gonna keep big trash bags full of cans, so that's out.
But it reminded me, I saw this old man once who had one of those can crushers.
You put an aluminum empty in there and it crushes it like tiny, tiny flat.
Maybe I kind of considered doing that.
But then I realized that I'm literally agreeing to become a hoarder with the thought that someday I might melt some cans.
Someday you might get into smelting an aluminum brick.
Yeah.
Someday I might smelt some aluminum up.
So instead, I'm just going to continue to throw these Coke Zero cherry vanillas out
and figure they'll find a landfill.
I'm having to limit myself on Zevias now because I went back and on Amazon,
because if you're gonna buy
zevia get it off amazon don't buy those like 14 six packs at the grocery store it's ridiculous
but like now they just upped their price i think i'm single-handedly responsible for them upping
their 24 pack price because it was 17 bucks now it's 24 and so now it's like well i can't
rationalize drinking eight of these you mention your name on CNBC.
One man in Missouri, single-handedly.
It might just be inflation.
I'm going to go out on a limb here.
No, no, no.
It's Taylor.
It's blind demand.
But these ones are still cheaper. And so these are like $16, 24-pack.
And so not quite as bad.
But, yeah, it's funny you mentioned the the canned beverages
because recently i've like you know you wake up the next morning and you come out there and it's
like there's no reason to have had 10 lemon waters last night there's a lot of them out there that's
why i i like these um like little bottles because like if if there's like this much left i'll throw
it back in the fridge and it doesn't feel nearly as wasteful because if one of these motherfuckers gets warm and there's this much left,
I'm pouring that bitch out.
There's no way I'm not drinking that warm diet diet Coke.
No,
no thanks.
Maybe I'll go back to regular diet soda.
If ZV is price keeps going up,
but I,
I'm like,
I'm so accustomed to the ZV a taste now.
Like I don't want to lose that because I've done that before where I drink a
bunch of Zvia for months
and then I go A&W
root beer or diet cream soda
tastes better and
it's cheaper. Then I do a couple months of
that and then you try and go back to Zevia
and you have to retrain yourself for the Stevia sweetness
because Stevia, if we're being
honest, gets butt fucked by
aspartame. It's not close. It's not a competition.
Stevia has no you
have a real fight you know i don't listen to him taylor doesn't know anything about eating stevia
is better taylor i don't think you've put nearly enough thought into this uh soda situation i'm
gonna need you to really sit back it's consumed me entirely my my sparkling beverage situation
yeah i'm loaded up now, though.
My wife went to Costco yesterday.
She got all these iced coffee cans for cheap as dirt, I guess.
They're great.
220 milligrams of caffeine, which is a perfect dose for me.
I had the first one this morning.
I was sitting there on my computer working,
and I finished it, and half an hour later, I was like,
I'm feeling feeling what is with
you today taylor you are feeling good and it's like it's it's the caffeine because i'm i i don't
drink it as consistently as you guys i'll go like weeks without drinking coffee or anything
and then when you jump back in it's like a real drug i have a related story so i have been singing
the praises of modifinol am i pronouncing that right does
anyone know i'm not a pharmacist i'm not sure what it is okay uh you might call it a competitor
to adderall people say it's not as good i think adderall has a dopamine aspect to it that
modifinol doesn't but uh it's the first one i've ever been prescribed in this like spectrum of
drugs that gives you energy and it's this cool kids biohack nootropics drug that people are taking like oh do you want to be smarter
tomorrow just pop one of these I don't take it very often I probably take three modifinol
maybe that's is that not how I'm saying it I'm not sure anyway um my wife was like the day after you take it you're not cool you're not nice you're
easily agitated and i'm like i don't think so so i i took it and then i'm like we'll evaluate
tomorrow and now i don't want my modifinol taken from me so i'm on my best behavior, which makes me at least a little bit of an asshole.
You're just a little edgy.
Yeah.
And every time I'm driving in traffic and some guy's in my blind spot too long.
I'm laying on the horn because the guy's in my blind spot.
That's not normal Woody behavior.
I don't care.
And just other things.
Like, could you believe it?
There's been someone in my way the whole time I'm driving.
And that's not how I normally react to traffic.
And there's another incident that night.
I don't recall the details, honestly.
But basically, at the end of the day,
I had to admit that I was a little short-fused the day after this.
So I might be withdrawing my recommendation from a Diffinol.
Yeah, it wouldn't be nice if it made you cranky.
The next day.
I might take it
two days from now.
I'm going dirt biking with my friend
and then I'll be
grumpy for the PKA
Hangout, which is always a show.
Thank you.
Everyone, best behavior this sunday if woody's edgy we all
gotta be careful show up with bad audio on sunday like somehow around and find out somehow that drug
like saps away some brain chemical that that is that is like liquid like patients.
And so like he's running on empty the next day and he's just waiting on
a motherfucker to have a scratchy mic
or to interrupt him
a little bit.
A little bit. Jesus.
By the way, if you guys want to sign up for the patron,
you always want to do that at the end of the month so you
don't get, you know, like fucked
over. I think you said it backwards. Yeah, I did say it backwards. At the beginning of the month so you don't get fucked over. I think you said it backwards.
Yeah, I did say it backwards.
At the beginning of the month, the beginning of a new month.
If you join at the end of the month, because the way Patreon works is it's a monthly cycle thing.
Yeah, so hypothetically, if you sign up on the 31st, you pay $50 for a day.
You don't want that.
But what I'm getting at is it's about to be a good time to do that because we're at the end of the fucking month.
And you guys who are in the $50 patron hangouts
are coming. You'll be getting an email. They have the email. A lot of people signed up.
Yeah. Some people use different emails so check your email. I'm always
never mind. People can miss it and stuff
but anyway check your emails. It should be there ready for you and
yeah I've told this story way too many miss it and stuff so but anyway check your emails it should be there ready for you and uh and yeah
i i've told this story way too many times but i remember years ago i had a broken leg one of the
people in the patreon said like the meanest thing to me he could which was like woody you're old
that leg will never heal you're ruined etc and i'm like already depressed my summer ends i'm not
a winter person and and i just tore him apart like i went blue shirt wings on this guy where like i
went after his hair his weight is like like everything about him and uh i remember that
now that you mentioned the hair and the weight, I remember. Because I couldn't believe, I was like, damn, Woody's hitting him everywhere. He's lighting him.
It was like in a fight when you're like lighting the guy up. He's like, left eye, right eye, fucking hook.
Body, body, top.
You were just hitting him with that. He was just.
Fuck around and find out.
fuck around and find out so and then we talked about it on the show and uh it created like a patreon explosions a bit of an exaggeration but we had to start booking like second rooms we had
to find technology that could host more people one guy said if i don't get personally berated
by woody i will not have had my money's worth oh and you can like it i know
kyle and i because we're obviously in every hangout we will track the situation as it is
unfurling and so like sometimes like no no i mean we're just like we watch it and like i'll make eye
contact with kyle and i'm like do you see that because the same guy just interrupted woody
for the second time and then five more minutes pass as you log that away.
Woody's trying to talk about his most recent motorcycle trip.
And this guy's trying to talk about tanks or something,
even when he's not the tank expert.
That's strike three.
And I love it when it comes out of left field.
Woody will be like, I'm just looking forward to this trip.
It's going to be a blast.
Do you ever shut the fuck up?
Do you ever shut the fuck up and realize people are trying to listen to this?
And then I'll sit there and be like, I feel like I'm in trouble.
This is not the time for me to interrupt Woody.
And everybody in the room, everybody everybody everybody shuts the fuck up then
because they know that they're gonna get a scolding too if
he's he's fucking handing them out left and right well it's mostly everybody starts laughing at the
person who got scolded yeah it's it's always like well deserved because it does build it is one of
those things where it's like this guy is a serial interrupter,
or this guy really enjoys the sound of his own voice.
He wants to fill any dead air at all with...
He'll just start vomiting words.
There's 25 people on the call,
and that guy will be half of the talking.
It's like, your ratio is way off, bro.
Maybe it's nothing we want to hear anyway.
There's a couple guys that I like.
They're just terrible storytellers.
You know who I'm talking about.
I actually know exactly who you're talking about.
I guarantee.
We're talking about the same guy.
He's a pleasant man.
I bet I can hang out with that guy and shoot the shit and have a great time.
Cool fella.
God damn, he can't tell a fucking story.
He'll go on and on and on.
And nothing will happen.
The end of the story will just be like,
and then they went in the garage and closed the door.
And it's like, you just told me a whole story about your driveway,
the kind of door you have.
And it just ends.
The story just ends. Needs a punch and like and it just ends like the story just ends
needs a punch like like like there was no point to the story he just wanted he was like like
everyone else would be like yeah i woke up today flat tire on my car went to change it
tore my pants open this is a story they're telling you how shitty their day is he'll be like yep
i got in the truck this morning went and got breakfast and on to work i went had a nice day too and it's just like dude are you just gonna recount your fucking day to
me right now because i'm sure somebody's got a better story than just your activities today
and we talk about the it's almost a meme where like we had a guy who's a tank commander and we
asked him a fucking tank question somebody wanted to interrupt this dude and answer the question for
him and we're like shut the fuck up we're asking the goddamn tank commander who has fought
in combat as a fucking tank commander recently last keep in mind that happened a year ago yeah
last month the tank commander's in there and he just wanted to correct everyone and let him know
he is not a commander of a single tank he is the
commander of tanks he has like a tank battalion or something is underneath him he's the guy who
tells all the tanks where to go like at once yeah um and and so like we're like oh
yes sir yes sir by the way i think woody asked hey how about that reactive armor uh on some of
these russian tanks blah blah blah in ukraine you know relevant topical thing here's the fucking
subject matter expert and some motherfucker interrupted him and started and i was like hey
we're asking the tank commander that one was kyle
it was like i'm not gonna let you say another goddamn word before the fucking tank commander that one was kyle because it was like i'm not gonna let you say another goddamn
word before the fucking tank commander like it's we were again repeat offender repeat offender too
it wasn't like he did it once it was like the tank commander can't get a word in about tank
commanding and yeah the hangout is it might might be one of the best parts of the whole uh patron thing it's always so funny
you get to see like sometimes they'll just be like inexplicably like hot chicks hanging out
there and it's like how did you get here like like your boyfriend's not there with you and
like she'll be like oh i'm and she'll have like some cool job and everything and then we'll never
see her again but then there'll be like some fucking like drug addict who's barely conscious
like sputtering and stuff we'll have people vomiting on themselves and fucking each other
and and i'm not making any of this up we'll have people like operating motor vehicles
shooting firearms shooting animals um like like all anything you can imagine on camera like like
in countries around the world so some people are like on the street in restaurants and some people are driving their car down a road in
america and then one guy was in like the jungle somewhere one time it's always something one guy
is consistently farming yeah like in a truck he's plowing fields plowing fields gentlemen if you're listening uh mute yourself mute yourself when you're a tractor yeah um we'll have people like half naked and being like weird
and like getting undressed for weird reasons and like um all sorts of nonsense i got some
characters in there man like like it's it weird. Stories we can't tell in public.
A lot of stuff you can't say.
It's a fun time. It's always a fun time.
Think about the things we have said.
The naked people, the sex, the drugs,
the this and that. And stories we won't tell.
And stuff that's a little uncouth.
We're still talking about not Ken's credit card.
Did you guys, I know you guys talked about fighting earlier.
Did you see the highlights of Thor Bjornsson and Eddie Hall boxing? I didn't know what happened.
I saw the recap, but it only had still photos to do highlights,
so not very well.
Yeah, it was like Eddie Hall so obviously can't use that arm that he had that bicep tear in.
Oh, and so like the entire time one arm just sits here and he is throwing the most powerful right hooks I've ever seen from any like put it put a meter of how powerful it is. I'd put him above anyone in the UFC just by mass.
He has a tattoo on his back of a Spartan,
like arms outstretched and like a big,
big kind of panoramic view.
It's too small.
It's not big enough for the size of this man's back.
But you see like immediately that Thor is going to win
because Thor lost a hundred pounds to get in boxing shape and he's still shredded and enormous
and it was just thor kind of bullying him and every so often like eddie hall throwing a the
most telegraphed punch on earth but like if you get in the way it's gonna fuck you up and like it
was it was very clearly like what were you thinking eddie like you knew before you get in the way it's gonna fuck you up and like it was it was very clearly like what were you
thinking eddie like you knew before you went in that you couldn't clearly throw a punch with your
left hand do you think thor didn't pick up on that after the first three seconds and he wouldn't put
his hands up hardly he was just kind of eating punches like a strong man would eddie hall oh yeah
thor bjornson the mountain he, he looked like a real boxer.
He looked like he put in the time and he like learned correctly,
but someone else who reviewed the fight said that Eddie Hall looked okay.
The beginning,
but gassed out very quickly.
Do you agree?
Uh,
from,
from the highlight I watched where it would say like the round.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It looked like he gassed out way,
way before.
Like if you would have taken a picture of Thor there,
you're like, okay, that's not a strong man he's got visible abs and eddie still had like that
strong man body yeah in a big way i think it was greg doucette who called it by the way you saw it
coming he was like eddie hall has a i'm making the number up, but I'm about right, 30-pound weight advantage, or as I call it, a weight disadvantage.
He is going to get out-cardioed.
He is too big.
And this happens in the UFC sometimes too.
When a guy's really muscled, he can be a V8 engine.
He'll get beat by a Prius like Nate Diaz or something
who just has cardio all fight long.
Yeah, I like those fights. I like to see the, see that, uh, there's also,
there's all kinds of, uh, well, it's a stylistic type thing as well.
Almost. It sort of mirrors the, you know,
you've often got strikers and, uh,
and the grapplers going against one another.
And it's interesting when you've got different,
you've got guys who are real long, you know, real tall guys against,
against maybe a guy who's shorter but much more powerful.
They both weigh 155 pounds, but one's 6'4", and the other's 5'9".
Those are completely different builds and different skill sets and power scales.
That's really neat.
Even though I've watched a lot of fighting and when i picture in my mind's eye
what a scary dude looks like you know he's got tattoos and great big muscles he doesn't look
like max holloway he doesn't look like you know even joe lozano like i picture a guy who looks
more like a tyrone woodley or kamaru uzman um but it turns out that the baddest guys on the planet have all sorts of different
body types yeah i like i don't know much about boxing but and by much i mean anything but
joe or logan paul i i wouldn't take him over either of these guys i don't know if eddie hall
can be hit hard enough to be knocked out because he is taking some hits from a
seven foot two Norseman
and
Eddie's just like, oh, I got a little blood on
my ear.
He's also
right. If he had been
taking those hits for the last 12 years, he might have
less of a chin.
That makes sense.
Have either of you seen the new
Jackass movie? I haven't yet.
Disappointing?
It's so awful.
I won't even watch it then.
Can I guide
your description?
Would you say that it's worse
or it just failed to do
the improvement that you expect
out of every sequel?
It's such a huge step backwards that i'm just surprised that they released it at all um so i'm guessing
a lot of it was filmed during the pandemic i'm guessing which i don't think is a very good excuse
because when you're filming a thing like jackass it's like let's just wait a year let's just wait
this thing out like it seems like if that if it's holding you back from doing some you know like
the public stunts that fill out parts of your movie you know the stuff where johnny's dressed
as an old man and stuff like that uh any sort of the public pranks the stuff that involved that
you know other people but like i expected for in the movies i I expect a mixture of things. I expect funny stuff like that.
I expect the big set pieces where you've got, um,
people in catapults and cannons and like porta potties getting rubber banded
in the air.
Um,
the,
and I expect like a few good celebrity cameos and,
obviously they're going to do stuff with like bugs or snakes occasionally
or in like tasers.
But,
um,
I, I just, I want some funny stuff in there where they're going to jump motorcycles and just have really obscure, funny, cool things.
And the intro of these movies has always traditionally been funny.
The running of the bulls in one of them or the big shopping cart in the first one set to the music.
This one was disgusting this one began with like this like act like godzilla type like acted out thing where godzilla was like an actual penis and balls that was green screened in but it
was and they but they showed like they broke the fourth wall to show that like it's just one of the
guys with his dick and balls like painted and like it's clear that it's a dick and balls by the way
like shooting cum all over
people and i'm just like i decided i would fast forward through the parts that i just didn't give
a shit about and i ended up fast forwarding through 80 of the movie i watched i watched
all the stunts and there were there weren't many and they go they said they went more gross than
daring this time probably because they're like they're not too old to do gross shit but they're far too old to like do a lot of the cannon and bike jumping so they did some stunts johnny like
like by johnny yeah they would do like bike jumps where the intent is to crash really hard i i i
firmly believe that like like i don't know what they spent to make this movie and i'm sure that
like costs get ballooned because of union stuff
and the number of extras
people that have to be there just in case
in case
you could build the sets that they
used and the things
that they done
I wouldn't have put some of that stuff on YouTube
it was so
it was backyard shenanigans
like teenagers would do it was
literally like one of them they just took guys and like laid on top of each other and they put
a ramp on top of that and jumped that with like a scooter onto grass in a backyard like that's in
the jackass that's not even jackass one level shit no it's it's it's super it's super it is
it's like the tv show it felt
like a tv show and that's what it should have been like any of those clips that i saw would
have been fine on a tv show except that there's so much dick and balls and then they like they
did this whole elaborate thing where they wanted to light a fart underwater and then they cheated
that and like pretended like they did it but i saw saw what they did. They just shot a settling gas under the water and it went up into the thing.
And that's what blew up.
Not the methane gas from the fart.
There was a bunch of bullshit in there.
I hated it.
And then they had a bunch of like celebrities who showed up and I didn't know who any of them the fuck were.
And we're all the same guys there.
Like I know Bam isn't invited back, which for bam's legacy with jackass probably
good that he's not in this one it sounds um you know um we man was there and preston was there
yeah everybody else was was there um there was one thing they did and again like this is the level of
like bullshit they were doing they had a giant treadmill like real wide and they turned it on
high and then they all dressed up as like band members and stood on
one side of it and they jumped onto it facing perpendicular to its travel so like so they
yeah it grabs their legs and like turns them like head over heels and sends them into a wall
and one after another they jump on it that johnny and um steve-o both hit their heads on the concrete immediately.
And Johnny's bleeding from the head.
And Steve was just out.
And so it's right immediately to the hospital.
And it's like all he did was jump on a fucking treadmill.
And they're both on the way to the hospital.
And it's clearly like concussions.
And then Johnny did the thing where he stands out there and lets a bull hit him again breaks his wrist breaks his ribs
and does that in every single jackass and he gets very badly hurt every time he's he's laying there
and he goes there we go there we go there we go and we're like yeah it looked great man that might
be the hardest hit you've ever taken and sure enough he does a full rotation midair and slams
head first into the ground break he's 51 years old yeah um but like
but like that's the only cool shit that was in the whole fucking movie the rest of it was like
was so either lame stuff or gross stuff i saw way too much penis and way too much asshole
there was a dude there was a whole scene where preston the fat guy was dressed up in like some
sort of silver body suit and you know they're all gross so like some some guy got close to him so
he tried to fart on the guy.
He shit his pants.
There's a five-minute segment of the jackass movie
that's just that.
He goes, I just shit myself. They go, really?
Everyone goes, yeah, it smells real bad.
I've shit myself. He takes his pants off and he
shows you his shitty ass. That's like five
minutes in the movie. There's no stunt.
It's a fat man
who shat himself himself probably on purpose frankly
i mean do you remember i don't know it was a jackass too that they painted preston uh like um
like king kong they like painted like the black fur and like the chest with the the fake six-pack
and everything yeah they made him stand on top of a porta potty on top of a giant hill.
And then they flew drones at him while he protected we man who was dressed up
as a princess.
Yeah,
that was,
that was very funny.
I liked that because you could tell when Preston accidentally falls off the
porta potty,
it hurts tremendously.
Like they,
they push the limit in,
in,
in ways that like you didn't give a shit about.
There was one part where the game was to do the task without screaming.
And it's like they had the girl lick a taser, like a stun gun.
And she sticks her tongue in the stun gun and doesn't say a word.
And then they put Steve-O in a skateboard guillotine onto both of his shins.
And it was just like, y'all.
And then the other guy just had to try to kiss a cobra.
And the cobra bit him in the face twice.
And his face is bleeding.
Because after it bites him once and he's bleeding, they're like, do it again.
Do it again.
And he's just like.
And the bottom fangs hit his lip and the top fangs hit his his tongue that's how big the snake's mouth is jesus christ and they're like and they're like again and so
he goes back are you sure this is bad that you wouldn't have thought this was good in like 1991
no the stuff i hate well it was like 2001 but but like that's fair i guess but but um this i never
liked the gross stuff i always like thought that was lame. There wasn't a lot of it.
Well, that was just dumb.
I didn't like when they would stick their dicks
in with animals and stuff before.
Some of that was kind of funny.
I've always liked
if they're on a stunt,
a physical stunt thing.
Like on a skateboard,
on a bike, motorcycle, car,
getting launched from a thing. like the the comical stuff when it when he took the car to the
demolition derby i died laughing little stuff like that but i've never liked it when they get
like giving themselves paper cuts or or something weird like that it's it's like this isn't funny
i like the uh just like the the silly pranks the most like and the ones that don't seem like they
like like they were just thought up.
Like, I don't remember which jackass, but it was like just filming guys coming into
their like kind of HQ where they have their breakfast and everything before they start
shooting.
And they pull that giant hand, the size of someone's torso and they have it attached
to like, you know, uh, the most powerful springs you could find at a gym.
And then they just invite someone to come to the door and they just let go of it.
And it smacks all the stuff out of their hand.
It's fun.
I want to get mine in.
I really like the shopping cart related stuff.
That might be my favorite.
It resonated with how dangerous it was to me and how out of control they were about it.
There isn't really anyone who's good at being a passenger in a shopping cart.
That's not a skill you can develop.
You're just fucked.
And you're like,
you see your awful future unfolding in front of you.
And it itself is an awkward,
like obstacle.
That's going to be part of your crash.
Yes.
Yeah.
It's going to cut you. It's going to cut you.
It's going to hurt you.
You pushed me into a median
in a shopping cart
way back
in the day.
I was going pretty good too.
I was panicking.
I was like, how well do you really know
this guy?
At that time, early 2011, not well.
Not well at all.
Not well enough to get in that shopping cart.
I can't believe his tummy got in there.
He's about to go for a ride.
He's going to get kicked out of Walmart.
Yeah, that sucks that Jackass isn't good.
I had high hopes.
It's embarrassingly bad, and the new addition of these other people is off.
It's not good.
And their pranks all look so terribly, terribly cheap. bad and the the new edition of like these other people is is off it's it's not good and their
pranks all look so terribly terribly cheap like like like there's a lot of them that look so cheap
like like they're often in these like set houses that look that they have like particle board walls
with like really cheap like setups i i i like you know arms that slap you in the balls
if you push a button.
There was one where they just put them in a room in the
darkness and they supposedly thought a snake was
loose.
Man, I fast forward through
so much of it because so much of it involved
actual shit or butthole
or balls or just
doing weird shit.
The human poop stuff
is really
disgusting and i don't like it maybe i did i did laugh yeah when they put steve-o in the
porta potty with all the dog shit i did laugh a lot of that that and then they released him
with a bunch of cords and and and some and some of it looked fake um like when they when they
there was a part where steve-o went and got in a porta potty and they just blew the porta potty up
and there was a little flash of fire and it was like nah y'all set that up he knew what was happening
there's no way that that's real there's no way that you can safely blow one of those up there's
no way you put charges in a porta potty and they've just been in there all day and who set
the charges johnny johnny's setting explosive charges you're telling me this isn't a union job
with three professionals on the on the thing and he didn't just go fire in the hole fire in the hole fire in the hole
bullshit like like to jump in that's a thing that having even either been on a shoot or two
or even just made youtube videos you become more aware of um you're like who set these charges
johnny didn't do it this is a a union task. Professionals did this.
I'm sure they put diesel in there.
This explosion means this to me.
I saw the way the fire went.
Kyle sees that and knows how fake it is because Kyle's been on a shoot or two like this.
I was watching this motorcycle thing, and you're watching dialogue between two people.
But I am picturing a 28-pound camera on some guy's shoulder with a shotgun mic or two
guys wearing lab mics wireless things all that that impacts the conversation you know like it
there was a part where ewan mcgregor's wife dropped her motorcycle and he picked it up and
said i'm so sorry that happened to you baby that's not fair that your motorcycle fell over
and she's like look at him and i'm like he's mic'd up
here's a camera there's probably two cameras on him he knows what's happening here stupid cow
that was so um that was my favorite part from your uh you your working with your wife on the bike.
She starts crying
and you're like, would you cry if I were
anyone else trying to teach you to ride a motorcycle?
And she's like, no!
Why are you doing it to me?
That is very alpha.
I like that.
Would you cry at Fridays
then don't do it here
Jesus Christ
I was so disappointed
they had one
the stuff that was in the commercials
was like the whole show
and I heard that
Bam sued or something
and had the movie pulled from
theaters because like he was because of some contractual stuff or whatever right like he
fucked them all over um i watched may i don't know if that has anything to do with like
what i saw i didn't know he was successful yeah i mean i read that um okay and uh anyway i watched it on paramount plus again uh
i was on your four dollars worth all right yeah man getting after it uh real dreadful movie though
uh i if you fast forward and only watch the stunts then you know it's only like 25 minutes long so
you can knock it out real quick topic change yeah yeah ukraine did you see the boat go down slava ukraine apparently they've
only got like one more of those operational in the world that's so one of the issues that russia's
been having in this ukraine war is me talking to the audience i know kyle knows this um is the
supply lines they're having a hard time getting their own soldiers, food, gasoline, diesel, whatever.
So they took over a port,
and then they did, I saw the news reports on it,
the Russians are so happy and proud.
Like, now that we own this port,
the supply line, we're about to start pouring in
fresh soldiers, fresh food, fresh ammunition.
I made that part up.
We have this supply line,
and everything is going to be better now.
Well, the Ukrainians disagreed and they sank
a Russian ship. And the nature of the ship is it delivered
food and supplies. That was part.
And then they damaged two other ships that had to leave the port
and hightail it out to safer waters. Scroll down just a little bit, Zach, and there's a video of it.
Thank you.
Maybe don't do that.
Make it a little
so.
A little bit.
Can you mute it too, Zach?
In any case,
that's where I've seen a different view.
Maybe this is the part I saw. I'm not sure.
I remember it being a different angle. But in any case, yeah.
One boat apparently is sunk.
I'm calling it a boat. I think I should be calling it a ship.
And two more were damaged and they had to hightail it out to safer
waters. And it looked like a big Ukrainian victory.
Yeah. I don't know
about the strategic value of these, but
the guy I was listening to said that know about the strategic value of these but the guy i
was listening to said that there's they've got like four of these total and uh like one of them
is on the other side of the world and the other is like being repaired and this one just went down
so now they've got one of them essentially for the task of landing supplies or something i don't
know what's special about this but uh maybe it's maybe that's a crane right there in the in the
front of the ship like a is that a big crane that like meant to like i can't even tell if that's on
the ship or on the land behind it i'm get like i'm just gonna imagine that the that's a crane
that reaches down into the belly of the ship and there's tons of stuff like inside in the cargo
hold but if i told you that wasn't on the ship, it was the port, would you be like, oh, I see how that's true?
I would absolutely be willing to believe that.
It could be some force perspective thing.
I don't know.
I can't tell too much.
In any case, yeah, another victory for the Ukrainians.
I keep hearing about them making like counter movements and encircling Russian positions.
They took a city back?
No, a suburb of a city back or something.
Sure.
They made it seem important.
It seems like they're pushing russians out of places at times and like i've just seen so many of those drone strikes uh the coolest thing i've seen the most effective maybe they get those drones
up with the uh thermal and uh they're at altitude and now they can see all of the russian stuff so
they're able to like with some sort of advanced probably simpler
than you would think system radio back to maybe to artillery positions you know the big artillery
positions that have like 20 mile ranges 40 mile ranges i don't fucking know and uh just dial those
positions in so from thermal you just see like a bunch of Russians hiding in the woods, individuals, and they're just like,
boom, boom,
boom.
And it's like six artillery pieces
miles and
miles away. So the drone just gets intelligence
and the Ukraine army
has... It's the eye in the sky being
a little to the left, a little to the right.
But I think what it really
is, it's probably like lazing the position
and getting the exact coordinates
and then sending those coordinates back
to the artillery positions.
What's the term for that, Kyle? You always know it. Is it combined
forces or something? Combined arms is
kind of the idea of all your pieces
of working together in that way
so that your guys on the ground are lazing targets
for the planes in the air and the choppers
are killing tanks so that your tanks don't have
to, and your tanks are machine
gunning away the light resistance
and not even having to deal with
everything working together. It's really about the
communication between one or the other.
It's like chess, right?
If you could have your rook anywhere
you wanted, you would always win.
And it seems like the Russians aren't good
at calling in their pieces
anytime they need them at all.
Their communication seems awful.
I would guess Russia would be a whole lot better
if they were attacked than if they were doing the attacking.
If it was in Moscow
and they knew the streets.
Are we going to find out?
Here's what I'm curious about.
Why haven't the Ukrainians
struck into Russian territory?
They're on the defensive.
Yeah, but they could easily do something.
This isn't medieval times or something.
If they want to get into Russia, they can get into Russia.
So my knee-jerk reaction is bad move.
You've got a lot of Russians who are not really on board,
who wish there was no war.
You go to Moscow and just damage a famous building,
then they might react like...
I was going to blow up a refinery.
I actually
picked something that was intentionally
not a big deal.
All you've done is you've taken one of
those onion buildings and knocked the top
off, right? Oh, that's the biggest of deals.
They would hate that.
Okay.
We just shove a dick up the statue of liberty's ass chill about it you're right i don't care for it
i'm kind of into it
proud to be a russian motherfucker so do they pull this one of those okay then um i can't think of a thing where you like don't kill a lot of civilians or
something i would hit strategic target i what i would i would want to hit like fuel depots or
or railroads or something like that like i would want guys like behind enemy lines like putting
thermite charges on railroads every fucking.
That's a perfect one,
right?
It's a strategic thing,
but it's mostly property damage.
The Russians don't have to get wildly upset about it,
right?
Like if I learned that someone damaged America's railroads and there was
zero deaths and tens of thousands of dollars repairs,
I'd be like,
okay,
you know,
I don't know if we want to go bonkers over.
Someone should be doing that right now.
I can't imagine like, like you can easily find the recipe for thermite online um you know you can you
can if your goal is to get the russians to stop attacking you is the move to attack russia no
yeah i i don't think that that that's like telling a one a rape victim that she needs to like stop resisting so much i feel like like like like like so i think it was a good question because you both
had different answers yeah yeah i think uh i think what you don't want to do is like provide some
evidence that you're some sort of terror force that's looking for civilian targets but uh i i
think specifically taking out something like a fuel depot or supply or like railroads that the railroads that like tanks are coming in on.
But it doesn't even seem like it matters that much because the Ukrainians seem to be like, it seems like they're winning.
They're killing so much Russian shit.
Like I've seen so much video of the Russian shit.
The way I figure in my head is like the amount of video that gets to Reddit is like maybe 10% of the amount that's happening.
But the last week, it's been
this massive influx
of videos because all the arms
are getting there. All the various
missile systems and
drone systems. And it seems like they're
just fucking shit up.
I don't know what to believe.
Oh, I'm with Taylor. That's where I was headed. Do you think that
you can get a pretty accurate view of how
it's going?
Even the Russians
version of it is pretty rough at this point.
It's thousands dead.
There's no...
Even the most...
You rattled off numbers at PKN.
Sorry to interrupt, but it's relevant.
I think you said
the Ukrainians are saying
17,000 dead Russians.
The Russians are saying like 5,000 dead Russians.
And the CIA or whatever
Americans who estimate it put it somewhere
in the middle-ish at like 10,000 dead Russians.
All those numbers suck.
And let's assume that ours is...
Three times the wounded, most likely. that ours is the three times the wounded.
Most likely that's the use. That's the cat. That's
like the ratio, I believe. Oh, interesting.
I didn't know that. So
that's
a lot of dead Russians. A lot of
a lot of unhappy
moms. And there's probably
25,000 of them that have something
from ranging from a boo boo
to catastrophic catastrophic head
injuries your foot shot off or something yeah yeah like like like warfare is scary as fuck i
man when you see those bodies and you see what like modern weapons do to human bodies
it's like what it is brutal like these are not those little i i've always known what gunshots
do to like deer and
stuff but when they hit these people with some of these explosive things they're just exploding
and they're burnt to a crisp a lot of the times it's wild so a russian tabloid newspaper i don't
know how much emphasis to put on that zach is telling us claimed about 10,000 Russian servicemen died.
Yeah.
That's a big number.
That's a huge number for like a month into the war.
And it seems like it is,
it doesn't,
it seems like things are only like getting better for the Ukrainian
strategically.
Although there are those people in Mariupol who like,
so there's supposedly 300,000 people in that city and its surrounding
suburbs.
And they've been rocket attacking that thing for weeks and weeks.
At some point, I'm wondering, do they ever run out?
Like, where's the big pile of bullets that they've been shooting?
Like, it just seems like.
I go the other way.
Do they run out of targets?
Right?
Like, that building is leveled.
Now you've blown up the rubble.
What are you just trying to make it dusty?
Like, what's your goal here? Yeah's uh uh i don't know it's then i go the other way i'm sorry to cut you off but like we've all seen hurricane footage where the the news reporter stands in the deepest
puddle he can find and then the other one leans into the wind to make it seem as strong as possible when they show us
the damage to ukraine my mind infers that that's what the rest of the town looks like too but it's
probably more likely that they found the worst damage possible and this building is fucked
it's a little bit of everything i i think we'll know when we see the death tolls um like when
civilian death tolls start getting like like like more accurately counted because i know it's like 140 children dead like like like like
so far in your brain like like just it's it's numbers like that that are just going to get
the children have guns wait 100 1 140 yeah not a big number but not a good number well yeah any
number of dead well, keeping in mind that
almost all the children were evacuated
and the number
of dead children they've counted is 140.
So it's like, how many
dead children are there really? It seems like they're
killing an enormous percentage of the
children remaining.
It's what it seems like to me.
They hit that
hospital, the maternity hospital
or something.
What's...
Two sides to every story. Russia,
what's your story for taking out the
maternity ward or whatever it is?
What's your story? What's your side of
the school? Did you have intelligence
that said they were...
Or were you just taking out civilian
stuff?
They wouldn't answer it.
They would do the same thing.
They would point to the times the U.S. has bombed hospitals
and go, see, it's okay.
No, it's not.
I've seen their double talk and propaganda.
It's like impossible to have a conversation with them.
It's not a conversation that's being had in good faith.
This is like me saying I want to hear whatever, Lincoln's story.
Like, I know I can't have it.
No, it's absurd.
It's cool to see so many Russians dying, I guess.
And I like to see, like, those old women fighting for sugar in Russia.
That was cool.
I didn't see that.
Yeah.
There's not a lot of sugar, guess big run on sugar it would seem
the lady's like i wanted to and it's so funny to hear like this dirty fucking poor ass russian
people like and like like the problems of their day-to-day life this lady's like last month
suri only cost 120 ruble this This week's Suri cost 400
rubles. And I'm like,
is that like
no money? And wait, isn't
Suri some sort of like low-grade
salted Baltic fish product
or some shit? It's probably something gross.
And then like, and she's like,
not only this, the price
of buckwheat. And I was
like, buckwheat? I don't even know what that is exactly
that's the character from little rascals yeah i know i know what wheat is and inferred that
it was related to it but it's some kind of grain or or like like oh oat ish thing it's
we don't eat it anymore we we switch to better grains at some point in the western world we
switch to oats yeah but she's just like quoting these like prices and rubles of sorry and and
and buckwheat or whatever the fuck and good good i'm glad your buckwheat's more expensive
oh i don't i don't want like grandmas to have trouble buying supplies are you sure because
i feel like that's how the war ends i want the grandmas to die i buying supplies. Are you sure? Because I feel like that's how the war ends.
I want the grandmas to die. I want the
Russian people to not...
I heard that the Russian soldiers, that half
of them have frostbite in their feet,
and that made me smile
all day today.
I had my coffee. That's a quantifiable
real number. Half of
Russian soldiers have frostbite in their feet.
Hey, are you a science denier,
Taylor? These are statistics.
Trust the science.
If I need to cite
my work, then I'm going to start asking
the same from each of you.
That's fair.
I'm going to have to cite hockey stats and magic
decks. If you think I can't
find the Reddit comment, I found that.
You have another thing
coming i'm sorry this thing's been brilliant this thing's been brilliant um i can't wait to see what
happens like there's a chance that uh that like uh maybe a tactical nuke gets used i could easily
see that happening like that's horrible what is a tactical nuke a smaller one a little it could be
yeah that could be delivered by any number of means from anywhere from like a backpack to a
uh an artillery shell to like some sort of like i don't know what the what kind of things the
russians have but like the u.s had like every delivery system imaginable for various sized
uh nuclear weapons jesus christ well hopefully it doesn't happen how much damage is a tactical nuke well it would depend on the size right so you could run the
gamut from like a hiroshima size blast down to something that would just blow up a city block
right so tactical doesn't tell you how big it tactical tells me nothing it means that it's
like black and you know it's cool and i don't i don't know it's got sunglasses on i'm sure there's exactly it's got like four sights and three lasers it plays airsoft yeah yeah right i'm sure there's
some sort of like information on wikipedia probably about like the various like special
order like nuclear weapons the soviets or the kgb or the sfb or whatever it is now like like
had or came up with because There's information like that about CIA
projects and US government projects
and the various nukes. I've seen that
nuke video where they have
an artillery piece or cannon and it goes
boom! And then you see a fucking
mushroom cloud hit five seconds
later because it just shot a nuclear shell
into the distance.
So there's any number of them.
But I can see them doing that.
I don't think... I don't know what happened after that exactly if they i don't think we do shit
i don't know i mean why would they nuke ukraine wouldn't it like blow back on them that
oh that's a good it doesn't make any sense they want you they want ukraine they don't want to be
ruling over a desolate nuclear barren wasteland that doesn't make any sense that's like part of
the russian doctrine though like it might be bullshit but they're like if it looks like we're
losing a war then there's not going to be any more russia then there's not going to be many more earth
that's just you guys need to know that if it looks like we're losing we destroy the planet
that's where i on the side like i hope that that's more propaganda than anything You guys need to know that. If it looks like we're losing, we destroy the planet.
That's where I'm on the side.
I hope that that's more propaganda than anything.
But I'm not saying it's tactically sound to use a tactical note.
I'm just saying it'd be cool on our TVs, right?
No.
No.
He's right.
It would be cool on our TVs.
I didn't say it'd be a chill thing to happen.
Kyle's right on this one. It would be neat.
I'm just saying it'd be pretty
impressive to see on television
right in 4K.
It would be a little preview of how the world's
ending during your life.
I don't think we would do anything.
I think we might impose a no-fly
zone at that point and
be like, are you ready for the nuclear war, the full-scale one?
Because now we are as well.
I think that's where things would go.
You're not going to nuke Ukraine.
That doesn't make any sense.
I didn't say it did, but a lot of people are talking about it.
They're saying that Putin could do any number of things.
It's a thing that's being discussed.
Trump said it was genius and savvy.
To nuke Ukraine?
I just made that up. But he said Putin was genius and savvy uh but but um to nuke ukraine i just made that up but he said
it was genius and savvy there was a time where nuclear weapons were thought of as um things to
be used industrially and and on small scale conflicts and and to be used very tactically
it's not like it's going to like really like to make to open tunnels for training yeah
earth moving projects i think it was the soviet
union they had like a huge natural gas leak that was burning for years because they like couldn't
shut it down like the pipe going so deep into the earth and so they used like a giant nuclear
warhead and they deployed it way underground to like close off and destroy the pipe and so
i i didn't know about that i would have guessed it was kind of gas on fire but i don't
know anything yeah i i mean they're still around i get how it works yeah um but but yeah it's been
wild i hope i hope they don't nuke anything i'm just kidding around but uh it's uh it's been
like crazy to see oh i saw this today like like apparently um the united states is sending like
a ton of these s300 missiles
um these these are anti-aircraft missile systems that are like shot off of a truck
like big missiles instead of this isn't a shoulder rocket thing this is a launched thing this is like
a big fucking missile and uh they're soviet made s300s and people were like wait what where'd you
get all them and they're like oh the cia had
this project in the 80s where you know we just got like hundreds and hundreds of soviet weapons
of every kind so that we could you know take them apart figure out what made them take and stuff so
we just got tons of them laying around still you want them so like they're just shipping these over
there we had these somewhere like we had these somewhere like like in a great quantity wow it's not urban
camo uh what would a good urban camo be i don't know it's digital ish put make it look like a
chevrolet yeah like a civilian vehicle put some yeah there's no there's no camouflage and that's
a fucking missile launcher. Yeah.
It's a tank. It has four ballistic missiles on the back. It kind of
sticks out. It does.
But yeah, I guess we had a bunch of those
and we're sending those as well. It's fun
to see everybody go into
their attic and behind
their couch and find all their old
shit and be like, send it to
Ukraine. They can shoot some Russians with it.
And everybody's just cool about that.
And Russia's like, are you guys all seriously cool with the fact that you're on TV being like,
yeah, I sent the Ukrainians exploding bullets.
And you're like, oh, really?
I sent them flaming bullets.
They burned the Russiansians eyes out first
and and like all the people are watching this like good burn their eyes out then blow them up
like as a russian you got to be like wait what the fuck really y'all all are against us i saw
it's it's like you see the green text where the guy's like finally had like found a girlfriend
and everything like like
he's like she finds out i'm but i was she knew i was russian immediately breaks up with me
what the fuck bros yeah i didn't see that he's like i didn't do it like i killed 4 000 ukrainians
dude i go so hard not calling it the ukraine right because i would never say like we're going to war
with the mexico
right yeah mexico yeah that i fuck it up sometimes and now i'm like yeah they're ukraines
no they're ukrainian it is okay or it's maybe the ukrainian war yeah yeah why was it called
the ukraine it it's just a grammatical mistake that everybody makes my guess earlier was that it was once um the the ukraine
region and before it was a country oh like that was russian empire that was just my guess because
for some reason i had that thing uh of calling it the ukraine like i've heard that said like in
media and uh and so like i i guess i really don't care though it doesn't know how it got that way
i never saved the delaware like by now but it got that way. I never say the Delaware by accident.
It's because we've heard people say the Ukraine.
It's basically the Ukrainian government.
Do you want to read that?
The use of the Ukraine
is officially deprecated by Ukrainian
government and many English language
media publications. Ukraine
is the official full name of the country. As stated in its Declaration of Independence and Constitution,
there's no official alternative long name.
All right, don't be all sassy about it, the Ukrainians.
All right?
We're all wearing, we got our blue and yellow on.
Be who we want you to be.
Yeah, why hasn't Facebook added a filter
that I can just do that to my profile picture or something?
Do you guys donate?
Just go ahead and make that switch.
Dust those hands off.
And I've done my part.
Make sure all of your friends see it.
I'm trying to virtue signal here.
Would you give me a filter?
Did you guys donate to the Ukrainians at all?
You know, who I donate to is none of anyone's business.
That's fair to say.
I donate to the Taylor's Spindrift Fund.
That's fair to say.
I saw there were some fucking dogs or something that were fucking hungry over there
and like a bomb shelter vet center and they needed some money.
It blows me away you picked to donate to a dog charity in Ukraine right now.
Dude.
Truly, it is genuinely befuddling.
Who do you think?
All right, all right.
Because the story I saw was this pretty girl who went back into the war zone to save the dogs, and she got killed.
And they were like, we're going to save these dogs that she died for.
That was the story that I saw.
And it was like, here's how you donate.
Taylor, let me list a couple of groups,
and you tell me which ones Kyle might donate to.
Okay.
Men.
Moms.
No.
Children.
Despicable.
Pretty girls and dogs.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's exactly right
of course they had a pretty girl
with a bunch of dogs over there
the girl was dead
and the dogs needed some cash
to get out of the Ukraine
a women's charity?
the very idea
what is a woman?
nobody knows
but you know what a dog is
yeah
no I had to
I felt bad for those fucking dogs
the fucking Ukrainian dogs and the Russians are bombing
them and then like this other thing I saw
and it was like these are the dogs that were
here the Russians already killed them
and it's like the Russians are killing the
dogs but then like in every video I see where like someone was trying to escape and gets like
gunned down in the streets they've got their dog with them and the russians have killed the fucking
dog like i've seen i've seen way too like whole family dead in the street papa bear mama bear
baby bear and then their dog and like whole family is dead there in the fucking street and it's just like why kill the
going after dogs they must be watching a lot of american it's because they're shell i think they
shelled them uh i think they hit him with some sort of indiscriminate like artillery fire or
shelling or something like that and just killed him on the street well definitely indiscriminate
with dogs like i can't imagine they were like you know get they might be targeting dogs they might
be targeting dogs dogs i can't say for sure that they're not that's fair it's equal 50 50
that's where i stand they either are or they're not 50 50 chance yeah um it's been a while though
i i i don't know what's going to happen if uh velota mirza linsky gets killed though i'm
wondering what happens if that happens who's the next guy i guess we don't really what's going to happen if Volodymyr Zelensky gets killed, though. I'm wondering what happens if that happens.
Who's the next guy?
I guess we don't really know who the next guy up is.
The next guy would be the former PM or former president,
that older gentleman who gets his own share of airtime.
He's often in the streets wearing his vest with his boys.
Oh, I don't even know that guy.
Yeah, he gets like 30% of the airtime zielinski gets
zielinski like every day has like a zoom call with the like congress of a different country
like like he's he's getting some face time these days well what i like about him is he buys clothes
the way i do like 15 of the same shirt you know so 5'11 tactical clearly sent him a care
package because he's like
it's like tactical gear
clothing and holsters and
everything really.
It's clear they sent him some sort of
care package early on.
That's smart. That's smart. I wonder what
guy in their marketing or whatever the fuck
was like
get Volodymyr Zelensky a fucking crate of shirts and whatever the fuck was like get vlodimir zelinski a fucking crate of shirts
and whatever the fuck else you can send him everything that we have i don't care how you
get it there take it yourself you pick it up and you get it there let go run swimming dick he had
511 gear on like day one this address to congress is brought to you by postmates like
more eyes saw him that day than than like anything else he he he's been speaking to
billions of people must have seen billions must have the entire free world the entire free world
and most of china you think yeah most of china yeah oh i don't know yeah i think china seems to be
more on uh russia's side with all this i saw that the uh i saw that the like the bricks nations had
a meeting and the brick nations yeah it's like emerging economies it's like brazil russia china
india uh no brazil russia india china south africa okay and they were i saw something i
remember which news channel it was being like oh these these leaders are all having a meeting
they're not too pleased with the u.s doing xyz or something i didn't look they weren't pleased
with the u.s yeah and that that was surprising to me when i saw it because it was like oh
that's not like what you would expect based on what we're hearing and everything. But who knows
what they actually talked about. I saw Biden went to
Europe today or recently. He's there now.
I'm curious if it's literally because
Kamala didn't do a good job because that's what it seems like because they sent her
a little time pass and they immediately sent Biden and uh man I watched Biden walk out to uh
I believe his helicopter is called Marine One he was uh you know walking out to that
and he walked like Mr. Burns with his hands out like this
Smithers he took very met he took measured steps like he had his ankles tied together
with string like a boxer.
And he had his hands up like this.
He's so fucking old and decrepit.
I need to see it. He looks good on a bicycle.
I don't know why I'm defending him.
When did he look good on a bicycle?
1972.
Before he was elected.
2015?
No, no, no.
Right before he was elected.
That sounds right.
He lost it.
I can't believe you. You saw the video I did and I'm not telling you you're wrong.
Oh, I mean, it's just his words.
I saw him speak today.
I watch him speak almost every day.
He was better today.
He was better today,
but he still...
It's like we had him speak before sundown.
He was a little more competent.
At 3 p.m. is kind of his sweet spot.
Wait, did you feed Biden after midnight?
Don't give him a mic.
This motherfucker can't speak.
I've seen so many news reports, just on fox news but uh because i try
not to watch that because it's wild over there i do not like a lot i try to stay away from their
coverage of this shit it's been crazy over there who's candace jones that that cute little black
chick that the the republicans like so much is she is the is the liberal stance that she's a
traitor to our country or something like that because she's hot i have no idea i just see her
so my criticism of her is that she's a little bit skin deep on her things you
know like she'll take these strong positions like global warming is fake and then if you ask her
like well can you explain why the temperatures are going up she has no answer um but she's a
pretty good speaker she's the half decent debater if no one's arguing back and uh she's pretty reliably
republican yeah okay i don't know i've like tommy lauren she was on there when i when i like clicked
on the fox news but for the most part i've been watching mostly like european news i think there's
a like german french and british um i don't know um i've got access to all those news with
subtitles no they have english um versions of those it of those. It's their channels, but it's English-speaking news.
My sources are probably bad,
but I watch a lot of the Reddit underground stuff,
Fox, and CNN.
Those are where I get my stuff.
I try to get all sides.
That's my objective.
Although when you say yours,
I'm like, I think he might be doing better than me.
Al Jazeera.
And I watched some of that.
And I watched some of Indian news.
I don't even know what it is.
They've got this weird fucking symbol.
There's not even a number for their channel or whatever.
Okay.
But it's also English.
And the Indians are the most close to being pro-Russian.
But it's not anywhere near pro-Russian.
It's still like, the Russians continue to murder children today.
But were the Ukrainians asking for it?
Tonight at 5.
Tonight at 5.
YouTube has figured out that if they give me Tucker Carlson's latest monologue, I can't resist clicking it.
Oh, no.
And sometimes I do. And they're they're like well here he is again i'm not gonna resist twice jesus
love tucker carlson every day and and i'm like i'm totally onto his formula it's not that hard
to figure out like absolutely shaky untrue premise build on top of that shaky untrue
premise as if it were rock solid.
The Hunter Biden stuff is coming back
and it seems like
what is definitely true
is that Hunter Biden left his laptop
at a laptop repair store
and it has been recovered
by someone.
And there are incriminating emails on it.
The biggest one in my mind
is that
in this deal, I think with
China, they were saving
10% for the big guy.
And most people infer that to be
Joe Biden himself
in on this backroom deal.
And
it's not good. It's backroom deals
with China, Ukraine, and Russia.
I didn't know about the Russia one, although I'm not saying you're wrong.
It's $30 million from Russia.
Wait, they called this whole thing a conspiracy a while ago.
Hang on, hang on.
Not only did they call it a conspiracy,
Facebook labeled it as a conspiracy
and deleted posts and removed accounts who tried to mention it
yeah i know people got banned for bringing it up they went orwellian on something that has turned
out to be factual that is a problem with fact checking in general like uh joe rogan brought
this one to my attention you know because we talk and uh he was like there was a period where if you
said cloth masks are bullshit and don't work
then you were labeled as some sort of traitor you know anti-american anti-science etc and then a
little time passes and they're like right cloth masks are pretty ineffective maybe your breath
doesn't go quite as far but for the most most part, they're bullshit. You want a more effective mask.
But there was a time when if you were like,
cloth masks were just a theater,
then you would get fact-checked on Facebook
and on Twitter and such.
You have to join the mob or be ridiculed by it
or be exterminated by it in every turn.
And sometimes it's like, yeah, join us, dummy. We're
in the mob that drinks clean water.
You've been drinking river water
all week. That's why you're vomiting
and your wife died of cholera yesterday.
We're in the clean water
mob, so get on board or
die like your wife. But then there's
like the, look,
fucking vote or die, motherfucker.
Vote or die.
And it's like like first of all you
already told me i can't anymore and second of all i don't think it matters yeah the um uh so with
the cloth mask thing maybe i'm foolish i believe they made an honest mistake with the hunter biden
thing it doesn't feel like an honest mistake it feels like a little bit of
protectionism for someone who was a powerful man and i don't know like this is wild here's what
happened this week that trump has been at least twice exonerated and and like shown to be correct
about something stormy daniels he's gonna have to pay him three hundred thousand dollars for the
defamation i know the details on that do you want them no i i like the broad
stroke better that that means your attorney has been in jail for all i'm hearing is trump won again
so let me let me lay it out because it is worth knowing um she filed a defamation of character
suit against him it is very hard to win a defamation of character suit against him.
It is very hard to win a defamation of character suit. You have to basically prove that someone said something,
knowing it was untrue with the intent of causing damage to you.
She wasn't able to prove all those things.
So now she owes Trump his attorney's fees,
which is $300,000.
So I guess if you file a suit and lose,
sometimes you have to pay the other dudes legal costs.
And that's the case.
So that's what he won.
Can you imagine Trump like calling his lawyer and tell him to run the bill up at some point?
Yes,
I can imagine that.
I can imagine.
I can imagine some sort of rich people legalese fuckery in which there's a point where the lawyers know that they're going to win.
And someone's like, hey, you're going to win.
You'll know Thursday.
And they're like, let's make some phone calls to Mr. Trump.
Would you do us a favor and sit the phone on your desk and walk away?
Yes.
There's 24 of us here who need to speak to your empty phone.
We're going to need to meet. No, I'm'm just gonna have a long conversation about nothing at all mr trump just
like just running the bill up on him right like like i hope that that happened for whatever reason
and then obviously like like trump was pushing this hunter biden thing and like you i'm trump
spoke so much here's the here's the advantage of speaking so much the disadvantage is you're
gonna find so many clips of him saying something wild but it's okay because there
are so many clips of him saying something wild that each wild thing seems less wild
the the the average it becomes such it's like he says wild things all the time look oh there's
another one see or you're gonna chase that one down too? Woof, woof, woof, woof, woof, woof. Chase it down the street, dummy.
But when he says enough things, then I'm sure he was like,
there's a conspiracy happening right now.
Facebook has called truth lies.
This thing happened like this, that, and the other.
He probably laid it out exactly the way it has gone down and the way it was at some point in one of his fucking crazy rallies he did.
And they're going to drag that shit back up and they're going to be like, here's what Trump said.
Here's what Biden said. Here's clip after clip of you know how dismissive Joe Biden is when it's anything that he he wants to like belittle and like tamp down.
He acts like you are insulting him and you're a moron and he will call you names and curse at you to your face.
He's done it time and time again in front of crowds of people.
So just imagine how he treats people when nobody's looking.
Kyle, I think Trump is not going to do much politically next election.
I don't either.
The midterms will be a barometer.
He's out right now campaigning.
He's working hard at it, which is not something you do
for... Remember when the Russians started getting blood to the border and it was like,
why are they bringing extra blood? Yeah, right, right. That's not part of a propaganda campaign.
You don't bring fresh blood to MASH hospitals. Trump's out campaigning for the midterms like
he thinks it matters. And uh i think that trump is going
to make another run at it and he'll certainly be on that course where he can pull up at any time
and it'll just be a good publicity thing and money money made uh but but i think he's trying to go
again yeah i think he wants to be the president again and i think he's going to do everything he
can to make that happen i think that becoming the president might be his best shot of galvanizing himself against any legal problems from his previous presidency, because those things
are, and that's why I made that hundred dollar bet with a midi that like put any timeframe you
want on it. Trump ain't going to jail for anything he did. He's not being found guilty for anything
in any sort of meaningful way because the legal system moves so slow i saw in my bullshit case and you're talking about something
with the president united states and like far-reaching like like political stuff this is
this time it takes years so if he can get another presidential candidacy rolling like it'll become
suddenly like inappropriate conduct for the fbi to even investigate a candidate all of a sudden.
So the investigation stopped. Investigators phase out. Now they're onto new projects and moving around. Things get stalled for years and years. Now he's the president. Now he's a good
president. It will never happen. He's not getting any trouble. At this point, if there's a betting line right now i it's much more likely that
biden is in legal issues than trump is in legal issues the person who was people that high up
don't the person issues the person at most at most professional and political uh risk right
now from legal issues is joe biden not donald trump like more more like on the laptop
thing way more troubling than like whatever's on the laptop i haven't looked into it is like
knowing fully that big tech companies censor shit unilaterally for political motivations
like that's scary twitter did the same thing facebook did where they would shut you down if
you said about it i didn't follow it at the time but i know that like they were censoring
it and whatnot like and think about it that's the way especially at the time that everyone was
communicating with one another that was the main kind of ability to communicate facebook twitter
instagram youtube election and it's like and for those companies to be able to for any reason just shut down discussion of a
topic is really fucking scary uh it's the same way in some ways with with with covet and look again
like going back to what i said about the drinking clean water mob like sometimes it's a good thing
that you can just shut people up about their disinformation that involves drinking bleach
for example like like and that's not like a made up, like,
example. You don't have to stretch it to ivermectin. I remember
when they were drinking bleach. I do not want Twitter and Facebook
deciding what is public discourse in the country. That's not good.
I'm with Kyle. It is hard to
get it right.
Ivermectin is a good one,
I think,
because the right absolutely believe that this was a thing that cured COVID.
It didn't.
I,
so I follow the news on this a lot.
It seems report after report after report comes out and says,
Ivermectin doesn't fix it.
Like there was one poor study that said it was good in an effort to make COVID seem like a smaller deal than it was.
The right latched on to this conspiracy that there is a cheap, readily available, widely known drug that cures it.
And they're just trying to hide it from you so that you don't get a cure to COVID because reasons.
And it was bullshit.
And it's been proven bullshit time and time and time again.
And I do think that having, say, a fact check on misinformation could be good.
Well, so what is that?
Because of this information, people were thinking there was a viable option aside from vaccination.
And there were people who were dying and or seriously injuring themselves.
who were dying and or seriously injuring themselves.
Like, apparently an overdose of horse ivermectin causes things like sterility, shockingly.
Like, it literally makes men sterile when they take too much of it.
Well, that's just Darwinism at that point.
Which, to me, was like, slow down with the warnings, boys.
Right, right.
And where can I get some ivermectin?
All right. Right, yeah. boys like right right is that the oh and where can i get some ivermectin all right right yeah see like that you're giving too much power to these tech companies that they can unilaterally
decide what is and isn't discourse and it and it's not going to end where you like it
it's not going to end where we like it um but but it's also it's not. A related thing to what Taylor's saying.
I'm sorry, did I cut you off, Kyle?
A little.
Do you want to go?
Look, it's a private thing.
Twitter's not a fucking public organization.
This is the way we communicate.
In the modern world, they should be platforms where people can say stuff.
And you can talk about anything.
It's how discourse is done.
I'm sure there are, and they're just not very popular. And I don't think
that... I mean, are you
suggesting that there should be some government overreach?
Do you want some politicians to go in?
Yeah, absolutely.
These companies should be like a public utility.
They control our ability to communicate
with one another.
Where do we draw the line?
I'm a free speech absolutist.
I think that people should be able to say what they want on these platforms,
whether or not I agree with it.
Because the only other alternative.
If you're telling a company what it can do and can't do,
then that in itself is not free speech.
We told those bakeries they had to make gay cakes.
Why can't we do this?
We actually did the exact opposite. We told the bakeries that they could serve who they had to make gay cakes like what why can't we do we actually did the exact opposite we
told the bakeries that they could serve who they wanted to they want the other way regardless the
baker would be the bakers won and then that has been society lost and that has actually been like
a counter argument to this sort of thing then i apologize for being wrong on that i do it every day yeah like it is my whole thing
is it is really fucking scary to allow these multi-billion dollar companies who control our
ability to speak to one another to other citizens of our country letting them decide what is and
isn't discourse is not a good long-term plan a litmus test i want to jump in this what i was
going to say that i apply to myself a lot is like i don't care who your favorite president is right let's say biden is
your guy and they're like okay they've just given the president the ability to declare
martial law and now no one's allowed to quit their job and no one's out allowed at night and you say
well all right but with biden i trust that he will use that responsibly. I think
it's cool. No, no, no. You need to pretend your least favorite president is president. Whoever
that is, maybe it's DeSantis, maybe it's Matt Gaetz or Madison Cawthorne, the wheelchair dude,
right? Pretend he's president. See if you still like that law and apply that test to it before
you do your thing. line out of veto is a
better real life example right the problem is the senate the house they put all these stupid little
riders in the law and they say all right we're gonna like lower taxes for disabled moms and
we're also going to put in this big fat bridge and the president can be like all right we're
passing it but not the bridge part. That's just pork. Okay.
You might like that idea when your favorite president is power, but you're going to hate it when the next guy is.
Maybe the president can't pick and choose how these laws go through.
Okay.
Now, with tech, I'm like, absolutely, we should censor ivermectin talk.
You know, people are dying because of it.
It's a public hazard.
Oh, yeah, Woody. Well, do you like it. It's a public hazard. Oh yeah, Woody?
Well, do you like it when they censor
something you do believe in?
Well, not anymore.
It's a tough thing for me.
It's not a road that you want to go down.
They already decide what you can and can't talk about.
I don't think that's a good thing.
Woody, what's a woman?
There's no telling.
I met them, but I can't define them.
A woman is me
winning college championships
in swimming.
You've met them
and you can't define them.
I've met them and I won't define them.
Who's to say?
Not someone who wants a twitch account yeah yeah when you talk about when the women were boggled i loved seeing the women go like uh what we talk about like it closer to
this show has been demonetized the last six shows in a row that's a lot that is huh like we and and
if you it's like a ufc fighters record what if you go back before that well it's like nine out a row. That's a lot. It is.
It's like a UFC fighter's record. What if you go back before
that? Well, it's like nine out of the last
11. It's not like it just started.
We get demonetized all
the time. That's ridiculous.
Yeah, that is silly.
We don't say anything edgy.
I wonder if it's the
lock and load ads.
Because it's usually language
oh really
yeah I don't say anything that bad
I wish we knew which words like
if like there's like one word that's like
doing it like cunt
like one cunt
are you sure it's not cock sucking
I don't know how the algorithm works but I think maybe it has like voice recognition in it.
Like it does close caption.
So I saw a police video today and he was like,
I hear those finance guys like get crazy CPM.
So it's just like ATM fucking wall street,
wall street,
wall street,
wall street,
NFT,
NFT,
crypto,
cryptocurrency,
crypto,
crypto,
Bitcoin,
Bitcoin,
Ethereum,
Ethereum. I don't know, ATM,
ATM, let it rain, boys, let's go.
Also my Patreon down below.
I was like, hell, I'm going to sit
through all this. Let's keep going.
To me, it's the makeup girls, mascara,
blush, something else.
Yeah, Revlon,
eyeshadow, smokey eye.
Spring fashion.
How do we we if we can
there's probably a whole list of words we could do
we could do like 30 minute segments where we just say
like keyword everyone skip
ahead to 345 we'll stop
saying Revlon
McGregor McGregor
we got that covered
yeah he's saying he wants to
fight fucking kamaru uzman who's 170 pound champion of the world and he seems fucking
serious about it i saw an interview where he's like saying it and he looked like he fucking
meant it dude he looked like he really meant it he was like if i knock out kamaru you know
you know what when i knock out kamaru uzman and it was like it really seemed like he meant it
he is demented if he seemed to mean it i'm sorry that there's more but uh tyrone woodley was the
champ before kamara uzman and at that time connor seemed to be wanting smoke with tyrone woodley
yeah and in hindsight maybe he was right fuck he seemed to catch him at the end of his reign.
He might have beat him.
That's when he should have struck.
Now, looking back, I remember when that happened. That was like seven years
ago.
Connor was so hot then.
I think he was
champ-champ, I think.
I think he could have taken Tyra
maybe like a year.
I didn't think at the time, but now. I think he definitely could take him now. I think he could have taken Tyron. Like maybe like a year. I didn't think at the time, but now.
I think he definitely could take him like now.
I think you take him now.
Dude, fuck it.
100%.
Jake Paul could beat him.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm clearly stoned.
Jake Paul beat him twice.
Jake Paul beat him twice.
Tyron Woodley's a bum.
Tyron Woodley's a bum.
Tyron Woodley would kick my ass
just like J. Paul would.
Yeah, I don't have
to be a professional athlete to recognize a
bum.
He's a fucking bum.
And there's plenty of fucking professional athletes
who'd say the same fucking thing. What a loser.
What an absolute loser.
Untalented,
clearly. Journeyman with a good body
apparently i don't know what the fuck you got to a championship with it it seems like some
i i feel like it's a glitch in the matrix that that he was so good and
seemingly for all those years it doesn't make sense to me now
like seeing jake paul beat him twice and, and seeing like knocked him out the second time.
And I think I've mentioned it before,
but I watched him on like that Japanese game show thing where he competed
against an average Joe in this like rally competition where like,
you know,
a little bit better than that dad,
the dad,
he lost,
did he?
Oh,
fucking lost to a white dude.
Who's like a fireman or something.
How embarrassing losing to a white person. And it was like an or something. How embarrassing. Losing to a white person?
In an athletic endeavor?
It was an athletic endeavor.
It was like sprinting and jumping, climbing,
carrying weight.
Lots of like...
And this is a guy who looks like
he should be able to handle that.
They're like, alright Mark, your competition
is Tyron Woodley,
four-time world champion of the welterweight division of the UFC.
And Mark is like, no sweat, bro.
I got this.
And they're like, and here's Mark.
He can program in Java, JavaScript, and HTML.
Let's go.
I thought too.
Don't forget.
And he just knocked it out and beat Tyron by like 15 seconds or something silly like that
it wasn't even close that's crazy now fuck that loser i can't i can't believe you
just just embarrassed fell off now the one thing about tyron though is he's older than you'd guess
if you were to just go by his physique um let me i'm gonna look him up is he 40 can't be 40 uh he is 39 okay he is but but like he
sucked four years ago like did he when did he lose his belt to use me he hasn't won a fight
here's a funny little way to like always remember when he won his last fight the last fight he won was before he wrote that song called
i'm gonna whoop your ass he oh really he came up with a rap song called i'm gonna whoop your ass
and he never won a fight again like and when he wrote it it was like dude if anybody's gonna be
rapping about whipping ass tyron woodley's the guy. You were like, all right, first of all, champ,
maybe you should be focused on the fighting, not the rapping.
Although I'm going to whoop your ass seems like a good title for a song from you.
And then he'd never want to fight again.
Yeah, he's on a nice little loss streak.
Oh, and I want to say this because I'm always the Jon Jones defender.
I finally saw the body cam footage of John Jones being taken into custody,
and he cried like a little bitch man.
And I lost so much respect for him.
As someone who's been handcuffed a couple times
and thrown in the back of a squad car for various reasons.
You were a man about it.
I was absolutely a man about it.
I didn't cry.
I didn't cry in front of those people, those police officers. I didn't act like I was absolutely a man about it. I didn't cry. I didn't cry in front of those people, those police officers.
I didn't act like I was
upset.
I asked a few simple questions.
I was stoic throughout the whole thing.
I didn't give anybody
anything.
Not you!
John Jones is like super bitch made and he's like whining
and crying and like being all emotional
and shit and begging
and then he gets all violent and then he cries
he cries he like weeps like a
woman
isn't that what he said in Godfather
he's weeping like a woman
he took a lot of heat for headbutting a police car Isn't that what he said in Godfather? He's weeping like a woman.
He took a lot of heat for headbutting a police car.
Now, I can't imagine that the car cared very much.
What is your take having seen the video?
He dented the fucking car with his head.
He's 6'4", right?
He came from all the way up to all the way down to something down here.
He slammed the fuck out of that car.
Now, that being said, who fucking cares he'll give him a new car but but like it was just a childish outburst that that preceded his emotional breakdown like where he was crying like a bitch like i said like all you gotta do is
say yes officer yes officer i don't think i want to answer any more questions um that don't pertain
to like your personal safety in this arrest I don't have anything on me.
I'd like to be quiet now.
That's all he's got to say. You're not going to talk
away out of handcuffs. Nobody's ever fucking talked away
out of handcuffs.
You know why you're there.
Stop being a bitch. He cried.
Super embarrassing.
He's an
impressionist and he likes Daniel Cormier.
He was channeling him. I thought it was inexcusable when Daniel Cormier. So he was channeling him.
I thought it was inexcusable when Daniel Cormier cried on the mic too.
It's like, get away from the mic.
You can cry, but get away from the mic.
In Daniel's defense, I think he had just been knocked out.
Yeah.
So I think people can sometimes be emotional after that.
Yeah.
I've cried during a knockout before and it was
like completely on like when i was having that seizure on the ground i was sobbing uncontrollably
it wasn't that it wasn't like a character thing it was like i was just sobbing uncontrollably
like out of character like it's not something you would normally do oh i don't cry unless unless
it's time to cry unless you see a sad movie yeah oh i cry victory in movies all the time like
like anything emotional in the movie i'll i'll fucking tear time movies all the time like anything emotional the movie i'll
fucking tear up and cry the other spider-man show up when he's weeping oh i know i'm gonna
cry in the new spider-man because i know that like multiple spider-man they're so funny
they're all here
dude that's gonna be big that going to be big for me.
I know I'm going to cry when I see it.
There's going to be a moment when, like,
when it's, like, when one Spider-Man can't do it,
two Spider-Men can't do it,
and then the third Spider-Man comes,
and it's just, like, done.
Like, the bad guys, like, trying to, like,
put, like, the key into the scepter that opens the MacGuffin box.
And they're all working together to stop him.
That moment's going to come.
And I'm just going to fucking jizz and start crying at the same time.
It's going to be great.
I'm not going to actually say another word.
But as you might guess, there's an action scene towards the end and it was really
well done i'll stop yeah yeah i need to get on it um you guys need to watch the new batman my
i'm guessing i'm guessing woody finds it five out of ten kyle i bet you find it six out of ten
i don't think either of you will be very impressed. I think Woody will hate the amount of drag in it.
I knew you'd say that
as to why I liked it less than Kyle.
Sometimes I'm a softer critic
than you guys. I like a thing you guys
didn't.
If you want a cowboy
show, I got one more show
recommendation and I'll shut up.
It's the prequel to Yellowstone.
It's called 1883.
That's really prequel. It's the prequel to Yellowstone. It's called 1883. That's really prequel.
It's like 100 years ahead. The whole premise of Yellowstone is that
Kevin Costner is that it's the Dutton Ranch. And so you find the first
Dutton who went out west and did his thing.
Tim McGraw? Tim McGraw, Faith Hill,
who are husband and wife,
country music stars.
Um,
they are,
uh,
two of the main characters.
Their daughter ends up being like the real star of the show.
And Sam Elliott,
who's the big,
the mustachioed cowboy from tombstone,
the older one.
Um,
he's,
he's sort of the guy who's leading the cattle drive.
Um,
and he's got like a whole bunch of German immigrants, uh, and gypsies who like don't
know shit.
And, and like, you can't teach him shit.
They literally have like a crash course in like wild west survival where he's like, this
is a rattlesnake.
It will bite you and you will die.
This is water.
If you drink it, you will die. If you boil it, you will die this is water if you drink it you will die if you boil it you will not and
like he just goes through it that fast like like through some shit like that next thing you know
they're all drinking the river water like they're like right away bit in the ass by a rattlesnake
like like like they're like the oregon trail it's the oregon trail they're constantly dying
and but the little girl who's like 16 or
something is like the star of the show first of all she looks who's the girl from hunger games
what's her name jennifer or something lawrence jennifer lawrence this girl it looks just like
jennifer lawrence except like 16 or 17 is what she plays in the show like much hotter jennifer lawrence somehow and right because
she hasn't hit 18 yet and she's like your face does look a lot like jennifer just like her
she becomes like you're the main star of the show and she's like cow girl can do anything girl
like she can ride and shoot and rope and she's right away she's like goes to the gypsies and
she's like i want some in pants i want pants and she's like trades with the gypsy woman to make some fucking pants for her
and uh so now she's got like cowboy pants on that some gypsies made her and she's got her gun and
she's like doing her thing how much of this thing kyle i've seen the whole fucking thing oh because
i googled it and i thought i saw a big spoiler. Do I have to watch Yellowstone before this?
Well, it begins with a real...
It's one of those things that begins at the end and then goes back.
You do not need to see Yellowstone at all.
This is all Wild West shit.
It's good.
Yeah.
So here's my only complaint about it.
And this actually might be at saving grace for some people.
This is another one of those things that I think would be a real good date movie or like husband and wife thing or not movie it's a
it's a it's a series uh it's a it's it'd be really good to watch with your wife or significant other
because the girl is such a strong character and she's like do it she's like my pussy my decision
like she's right away like finds herself a cowboy to fuck and losing her virginity and then doing big girl stuff and paying the consequences along the way
and owning it and being a really cool character.
This show made me – I'm not going to spoil anything,
but I cried quite a bit at the end when I realized where the journey was headed.
Sam Neill's a...
You know, now that I started thinking about it,
this is a sad story.
Sam Neill's a...
Sam Neill...
Oh, not Sam Neill.
It's Sam Elliott.
Sam Elliott.
I like Sam Neill, too.
I like Sam Neill, too.
But yeah, it's a cowboy TV show.
Lots of people getting killed.
Not nearly rapey enough,
because here's the thing.
It's not realistic. It'd be very rapey enough because here's the thing this
is not realistic it'd be very rapey back then this girl like makes herself like a cowgirl outfit
right away because she she's she starts out in a dress and it's like we need people who can ride
and none of these fucking germans know how to ride a horse and it's illegal in germany to know how to
swim so yeah at this point at 1800s i guess so like none of these fuckers know how to swim so they
have to cross rivers with a bunch of people who don't know how to swim so they're drowning left
and right too how would the cops get you if you started swimming in germany they could
the guy explained it you're going to wait for you to come out
that's what they did to catch surfers he He explained it at one point. I guess it was
like death penalty to learn to fucking swim.
Because all the
German fuckers are so useless
that this girl is like,
we need you. You know how to ride a horse.
You know how to shoot a gun.
You're competent. So she's right away
one of the gang.
That's it.
I want to see it. What platform is it on?
I don't know. I'll have to look it up.
I have a topic. I'm curious about your take
on it.
Dana White does not
like it when his fighters
get in fights outside
of their fights. That was phrased
weirdly, but yeah. He doesn't like it when people
get in street fights. He's held it against him.
I can name fighters, but I can think of fighters that he's
ditched for it before.
On the other hand, when it's a guy like
Connor, you know,
business matters.
And he kind of looks the other way.
John Jones in DC went
at each other very heavily.
Yeah, all he had were
some harsh words.
In that particular one, he used it in the fight promotion.
He's like, you guys never do that again.
And then they're like, come see John and Daniel fight.
The guy throws a shoe at him.
Do you think Jorge Masvidal will get in any kind of trouble
for sucker punching Colby Covington?
With Dana, will it affect his –
Yeah, with Dana.
I'm sorry, that's the key.
No, no, I don't.
I don't think he will.
I think that Dana will call him an asshole, an idiot,
and everything in between.
Right.
But inevitably, Dana White's a businessman,
and it's not going to matter.
It doesn't matter what these guys do.
As long as they don't do anything that's unforgivable by by the fan base that that something repugnant like
you can't uh sexual crime would would do it um if you beat a woman severely enough and she complained
about it that would do it but you can't just be this nonsense where like john jones slapped his
wife and they saw the bloody lip and then she was like fuck you i didn't say nothing like like that doesn't do it i'm still
still watch jones john jones fight there was a lesser known i can't remember his name but he had
just been um he sort of got a push on the ultimate fighter right so you can imagine how new his
career is he's had yeah brand new but yeah. And he didn't get into a fight fight,
but he kind of bullied and manhandled a valet.
And it was captured on a casino security cam.
And Dana's like, the fuck?
You're not even famous yet.
And you're already an asshole?
You're cut.
You're cut after your first fight or before your first fight.
Makes sense.
And so it's like, right you do that and then you picture connor who's undefeated in the
bar scene and it's a very bar and hotel lobbies he's getting win after win and you know like yeah
i don't think anything he's done is really like a turn off to anybody like like nobody sees that
and thinks oh i'll never watch him again. I think less of the UFC because they employ
a man who punched an older gentleman in a bar
one night. I think less of them
because they employ a man who
enjoys a bit of cocaine
and fucks whores.
And it's like, god damn, he sounds cool!
That's all I hear.
You telling me that
what you'd expect, right?
Everybody's like, oh, I want a darker hero.
I want an antihero.
I want a Batman that kills people.
All of a sudden, your professional athlete is slapping old men around when they get mouthy.
And, oh, that's too rough for me.
Be nice, Connor.
Get a charity.
Fuck that.
Connor got a reckless driving charge and $180,000 Bentley last night.
He's got another one. not drunk driving, a reckless driving charge and $180,000 Bentley last night.
He's got another one.
He's barely ever counted his fucking car.
He's got three or four.
Counterpoint. And they blood tested
him clean.
No alcohol address. Okay, I didn't know that.
Counterpoint, I've heard
Dana say, man, we work so hard
to make the world think you guys aren't just a bunch of thugs and savages.
They call it human cockfighting, and we do everything we can to make this a sport filled with professional athletes.
And you assholes go and get in bar fights.
You people are beating up valets.
Do you know how many times I've been on ESPN saying these guys are cultured civilians?
And then you do this civilians and then you do
this and then you prove them all right he hates it i think they've rounded the corner on that a
little bit though because you know they're on espn now they're not calling it human cockfighting it's
in new york they're expanding all over the world the fan base has a lot of ladies in it now a lot
of young people in it now um you know there's celebrities every night at the events. He can print
money at the UFC
facility now because he
sees the numbers that he can get
by just doing it right there.
He can just print money no matter what
the world does.
It doesn't matter.
He holds the event in a UFC
building and makes a ton of money.
His expenses are already covered.
Okay.
Yeah, they own the fucking building.
I think the UFC is in a different place from then.
I think he's fine with it because he sees the pop that it gets.
The reason I know who Jorge Masvidal is is because of three-piece and a soda
because he attacked another guy named Leon Edwards who he wasn't in a fight with. But I was okay with that.
And I'll tell you why. Because Jorge stood there and
put his hands behind his back. It was like, oh yeah? Oh yeah? Oh yeah? And the guy approached him
and they're jawing at each other. They're squared up and the man's hands are behind his back.
The fact that he leads with a punch and doesn't say, defend yourself!
It's hilarious that he had with a punch and doesn't say defend yourself it's hilarious he had his
hands behind his back like so he's talking to leon he has his hands behind his back and then he's
like sucker punches him to hear him tell the story it was like he was handcuffed like my hands were
down there was like you know he was coming at me i had to defend myself so i hit it with the three piece in the center to me jorge masvidal is the dude who beat up ray ray back in the kimbo
slice days like he's have you seen that fight i've probably seen it but i don't know by like
i don't know the guy's name you might enjoy it uh ray ray is a guy if you were to look at him
next to each other ray ray has clearly the better physique. Jorge Masvidal is a little bit skinny, young Jorge.
But then
you watch him throw and you're just like,
fuck, this guy, he's
accurate. He's got cardio.
And he's getting hit too. Ray Ray's no joke.
Ray Ray's a good fighter. Ray Ray
beats up any two of us at once.
But
Jorge Masvidal is a professional
fighter. And slowly but surely
he starts turning the tide
he's just getting more hits in
and Ray Ray you can tell
wants to quit like he gets
knocked down or something and everyone
is like get back up back up you can do it
and he's like
okay
I'll face another
ass whooping which he does and he loses until it's like everyone is like, yeah, you can stop now.
It's a good fight.
You should see it.
Yeah, I don't know what's going to happen here.
I think that what will be interesting is I really hope that Colby presses charges, civil suit, anything he can.
Like, go for blood.
Like, go for the throat um i hope
he drags this out and the only problem is with legal stuff if you're smart you don't you speak
about it in public but i think that if like colby hasn't if well he's getting his tooth fixed dude
like like his tooth is out it's what it's what everybody's saying like like it knocked i heard
broken i don't know what to say. I imagine they're the same,
but broken in half and now
some of it's gone. I don't think
he wants to be on camera until his tooth
is fixed. It kind of sucks. Last time
he lost a fight, his jaw was broken, so
he couldn't even talk shit afterwards.
Immediately after this, he's missing a tooth
so he can't really go on camera.
I think that's what's happening, that he's getting that fixed.
That, and I bet legal counsel is saying, say nothing.
That's my thought.
Say nothing.
Like right now, he's over there admitting to the crime on TikTok.
You have said nothing.
Your story can be whatever it wants to be whenever we want to tell it
based on however much stupid shit he's gonna say on tiktok
like like you know let let him let let him uh run the line out so i hope that that's the case i
really hope that's the case um because i'm liking jorge less and less like also that's that's that's
so shitty so in the world of fighting it can be a bit of a bitch move to like sue over getting into a fight the man move
would be to be like you know what let's you and i go into the octagon again i don't care if i get
paid or not we'll go into freaking joe lozon's octagon he'll host the fight we'll do whatever
that's the manly move but colby covington is a heel it is you know he'd be like i hired a donald trump attorney you know this is
the same guy who served the president of the united states you know the greatest president
we've ever seen and as vidal would be so fucked if he got a billionaire team of attorneys
does trump even get the best of these what he's gonna hire michael cohen so uh but but
it would be funny that would be more in character for him to be like yeah that's my attorneys are
he'll be petty and he'll petty be dirty be don't forget the whole reason that this happened is
because the man is is because colby went after the man's wife and children and we couldn't remember
exactly what he said about the child but it's not as if he hasn't gone after the man's wife and children. And we couldn't remember exactly what he said about the child.
But it's not as if he hasn't gone after other people's children directly.
I mean, I remember what he said about Poirier's kid.
He doesn't give a fuck. I don't remember what he said.
He said that that was Connor's kid.
About Dustin Poirier.
He was like, your son, whatever his name is, Christopher, whatever the fuck.
That ain't your kid.
That's Conor's kid and that Jezebel wife of yours.
Conor McGregor told Dustin Poirier that he had slid into his wife's DMs.
He did.
And then he showed the screenshots proving it.
I need to see them.
I didn't see the shots.
There's nothing inappropriate going on.
They're just talking.
But it's still like,
God damn it, why are you talking to Conor?
Yeah, I agree.
Don't talk to Conor McGregor!
How hard is that?
How hard is that, you bitch?
Can you imagine having to tell
either of your wives,
I have one fucking rule.
You don't slide into Conor McGregor's DMs.
That's it! That's my only rule! And you have broken fucking rule. You don't slide into Conor McGregor's DMs. That's it. That's my only rule.
And you have broken a DM.
So when Colby
talked shit trying to get a fight with Dustin
Poirier, he kept referring
to Dustin's kid as
Conor's kid.
That his wife had actually fucked Conor McGregor.
And that's whose kid it really is.
Which is rough. That is child.
That kid has to go to school
people might say that to that kid they get blows um when he talked about jorge's family he definitely
he said this is his real wife and that he somehow whores his wife out to get in with a manager
i couldn't follow the story he's like everyone says this is jorge wife. It's not. This person over here is Jorge's wife.
That person is someone else.
Jorge's wife is now being whored out for this solution or whatever,
and you're her pimp.
I didn't follow the logic.
I couldn't even tell who his real wife was.
I just know he's talking shit.
I think that's his goal is for you not to be able to tell who his real wife is anymore.
So that maybe somebody's like, is this your real wife then?
Yes, it's my real wife who
said it wasn't well colby actually said that she was uh i'm not sure what the word i want to use
it's to put him into that situation i'm sure um it's just mean shit that he makes up he's the
he's a he's a mean bully who who i can't tell how quick he is on his feet because he's one of those guys who memorizes and
writes like like he's but but that doesn't take anything away from him um his performance can be
shaky um he's not okay to show up prepared yeah he shows up overly prepared though he has he has
like a line prepared and he'll stutter over it sometimes and it's like god damn it you gotta hit
that like that's your line that's you
know it's the one that you scream into the mic at the end like like he'll fucking slip up on a word
or something it's like come on dude you should have been in the mirror all week saying that shit
like remember that scene in um reservoir dogs where uh like he's he's in there talking to the
mirror about like gangster shit it's like you need to be doing that you need to be doing that
you gotta be practicing this shit he didn't look good but uh crime what jorge did and i hope he
pays some like criminal um penalties for it because that's that seems wrong um to me to
unprovoked like like like like and don't get me wrong i'm not trying to be hypocritical when
connor hit that old man i'm not saying that's the right thing to do it's just something that i think is okay because i because what i'm hearing is that old man refused a free drink in
ireland in a bar from a fellow irishman that's what i would do if connor offered me i'd probably
just try to be polite we'd all take it right we'd all take it right can you imagine if he was like
hey hey i bought a round of drinks i drinks. I noticed you didn't take one.
They're free.
They're free, friend.
I'm Conor McGregor.
Ha ha.
See, it's my bottle.
I own this whiskey.
And you're like, no, thank you.
I don't want one.
I don't drink.
It's like, you have a drink in front of you, though.
Yeah, I like this drink.
I don't want your drink.
It's an insult.
It's an absolute intentional insult.
It's what it feels like. I bet he's the only one in the bar
who didn't want a free drink from Conor McGregor
he's a fucking national
hero over there they only have so many
it's Ireland
one probably
I think
Atlanta has like 5 million
people in like metro Atlanta like out in the suburbs
or something like I think that's how big Ireland
is probably I'm like seven million people over there or something like that and
conor mcgregor offered any of my alcoholic friends in ireland five five yeah five million people
about the same as like atlanta and some of most of the suburbs it's come on if he was from here
and we were he'd be a god like you couldn't turn down
like what would he offer you you wouldn't take a peach cola a coca-cola that's a population
six million conor mcgregor offered you a coca-cola you'd have to take that bitch like you'd be like
no i don't want i would take the coke i mean i would take the fucking if conor mcgregor was
like watching you take a shot of his whiskey, would you like...
Because I guarantee I would be trying to be like,
I'm going to have the coolest, most just shot,
like, I can taste the notes of...
Oak, maybe?
I would absolutely be like,
I'm getting a lot of pine barrel and rust.
Ooh, that is a lot of ethanol like
that's alcohol i haven't uh i haven't had this whiskey i i hear it's like
you know mid-tier whiskey i bought it like a year ago or so and it is yeah i don't know whiskeys or
at all but it was like the most forgettable, middling, whatever, this is fine.
I think I only had one drink of it with ice in it,
and then I was like, I'm just going to put soda with it.
I don't know the details of the deal he made,
but he sold the company, or at least a substantial piece of it.
He's still featured, however, in all the advertising,
and it still has the same deals with the UFC and ESPN.
So it seems like, I would imagine, he's still reaping benefits somewhere or another.
I doubt he's just a paid spokesman. He's pimping it for some
reason. He must be motivated to do so. Can we do my topic?
Zach, do you have it queued up, that Instagram link I gave you? Sure. This is a
modern day Paul Revere, a hero. It happened during COVID
times and I thought it was funny. It needs audio.
Can you zoom in?
It's short.
I've seen this one. This is good.
Oh, have you? I have not, but I'm not watching
it yet. I watch a lot
of the internet.
Hit play.
It's awesome.
Folks are coming. That's awesome. The cops are coming. The cops are coming.
The police are coming.
The police are coming up the hill.
The police are coming.
I guess there was a COVID thing, public gatherings,
and the pilot just came by and warned everybody.
I liked it.
You can't be flying around up in the sky alone.
That's dangerous.
Come and get me.
He's the only guy.
Social isolating?
Is that the term we used?
God damn it.
I forgot about that.
Yeah, like socially isolating.
God damn it.
I'm so glad that's over.
For good, I guess. I don't know. We've so glad that's over i if we're good i guess i don't know well no we've
decided it's over i don't argue with it i hope so yeah i heard um i guess it was china where
covid was making a big comeback a few weeks ago they just locked down a city like twice the size
of new york it was like 18 million people or something in the city they locked the fuck down
they have so many
huge cities. It's wild. I know.
You'll find a city with a population
of like 17 million and it's like
this is the 11th
largest city in the region.
It's like how?
How is it possible?
Oh wow. America's still doing great.
I'm looking at the cases.
It hasn't been this low since
last summer.
Nice. Good.
I wonder how...
I'm done with it.
I'm so done with it.
Although now there's the threat of nuclear war.
Maybe that'll kill the virus.
A little radiation.
It can't.
It will bomb coronavirus.
Yes.
We'll trick it into one place.
That's what Vladimir said.
Vladimir wouldn't say that.
He should say that this is a special military operation to eliminate COVID pockets in Ukraine.
And that would be great.
Taylor's idea is ridiculous.
You can't get coronavirus in one place.
You have to spread the radiation far and wide.
It would have to be a wide brush we paint the earth with.
That's my plan.
It'll work better.
Well, COVID's gone, but everyone has leukemia.
From the radiation.
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