Painkiller Already - PKA 590 W/ Ed Bolian: Elon Buys Twitter, Taylor vs Ricky Berwick, Kyle’s New Channel
Episode Date: April 9, 2022...
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pka 590 with our guest ed bullion taylor this episode of pka brought to you by blue chew
feels cbd and lock and load a great cbd product to help you relax and sleep and two wonderful
penis products to have your your dick roaring raging coming more than ever
and we'll talk more about that later ed thank you so much for joining us
oh thank you for having me to work yeah what a thing uh did i pronounce your last name correctly yes bullion thank you all right
cool cool so i was uh i was on your your channel checking up on you again and every time i do that
like i have no i'm not a big car guy but every time i do your vibe and like just the expensive cars i'm like
this looks like a fun life to lead even if you don't care about cars like oh what's what are we
doing today oh we're gonna drive santa monica boulevard and a four hundred thousand dollar
ferrari or something and and i'm gonna critique it which is the best like i don't like the radio
so that's it great for you i'm sure oh life's been great yeah we're having a whole lot of fun I don't like the radio.
That's it.
I'm sure.
Life's been great.
Yeah, we're having a whole lot of fun.
I mean, that's the idea is that obviously cars are the medium through which we communicate.
But at the same time, the goal is that it's entertaining, hopefully a little bit beyond that. And so, you know, one of the biggest praises we ever get is like, you know, my wife can stand it when I watch your stuff.
And that's that's that's about as high as it gets.
Yeah. Go for it um the uh the tesla truck um so i got an update on my phone like 20 minutes ago and it said that it had been canceled that there was going to be no tesla truck and i was like oh
man woody knew it all along and i'm scrolling because i was really considered buying this thing
and uh i got to the bottom and then I realized it was dated
April 1st. I didn't have time
to do any checking up.
Here you are. Do you know anything about this?
Was it an April Fool's joke?
A bad one at that.
It wasn't like the article was written
punched up to be funny.
It was a terrible joke. I fell for it the whole way through.
I fell for it
because it's very believable.
I think that he...
The article was written like, oh, it just turned out
that it was unfeasible to make the trucks in the
giga plants that the Tesla
Y and blah, blah, whatever the fuck else
is much more easily built there.
The pricing model
just didn't come to fruition. I'm like, all right, this is
a professionally written article. This isn't a joke, but it's
April 1st at the bottom. It's just like propaganda I read or something. I'm like, all right, this is like a professionally written article. This isn't a joke, but it's April 1st at the bottom.
So it's just like propaganda I read or something.
I'm not sure.
Car manufacturers have usually had like a real strong penchant for,
you know, elaborate April Fool's jokes.
And so, yes, that's what it was.
But at the same time,
they're not that much closer to actually delivering the things.
It's not as though we're seeing many of them really out testing. There are some in the Texas factory and things like that. But we know that whenever Elon Musk or Tesla
promise something, it's probably going to find a way to happen. But he probably,
at the point of making that promise, doesn't have the slightest clue how it will happen.
I mean, being the richest person in the world kind of makes it easy occasionally to just make
things happen that are important to you it seems
I really like that meme where
Elon Musk becomes the Karen
of Twitter and she wants to speak
to the manager
he just buys 10%
of Twitter and is like I want an
edit button and you're batting it
bitch yeah he's the
largest stakeholder in Twitter
now by a long shot apparently i think
the other two yeah i was reading circle back to ed but i'm really curious how taylor's response
like sorry feels about uh elon musk buying twitter uh it depends if it goes an entertaining
direction frankly like if nothing ends up happening from it who gives a shit if he starts like trump
you're back baby then i'm like hell yes that's that's so much better for the platform get trump
out there i'm back like he's just that was his first tweet what was his first tweet i'm just i'm
back he would get right back into it he'd be like joe finding out quickly that presidential 15 in
the first year like making fun of him getting
fat or something gaining what he would do something what you know how trump could get your vote taylor
if i was i've already said solidarity with you i'm never voting again okay but here's how here's
how i could convince you to vote any anyway to break your pact with me the fellow i would be
trump's campaign manager the first ad would be him losing as the Trump,
the,
the,
you know,
everything was stolen from him to like huge orchestral music.
Think like Lord of the Rings here.
Like,
like when Gandalf falls down,
falls to the ball rock.
Okay.
Like,
like that kind of scene,
that kind of setting with the music,
you know,
Joe stealing the election,
lots of that,
lots of devil eyes I'd put in them,
but you know,
that little glint where you're not sure if that was a reptilian or not.
I'd throw a lot of those in like one frame things where it goes from joe
biden's face one frame of a swastika and back to his face real subtle he gets those goat eyeball
iris yeah one frame one frame in the whole video and and like joe looks confused and then he turns
to goat man and then he goes back to doing what he's supposed to do, what they want him to do.
But there would be a part, Taylor, where everybody would be like,
you'd show the crying Trump fans, right?
And you'd show the cheering purple-headed fat women and all that,
like cackling and stuff.
And then there'd be a moment where the music really dropped,
and the whole screen's washed out white okay and everybody's shielding
their eyes they're not sure what they're looking at and and you hear donald trump's voice he says
i'm not donald trump i'm donald trump the white and he's come back no dye in his hair he's taking
seriously now he's donald trump the white okay he's pulling off full gandalf he's in He's in Gandalf's robes, but he has a hood.
He has the hood.
Oh, Jesus Christ.
He's had it up.
This was a genuine oversight by the costume people.
See, that way you get your dog whistle
in, okay? You get the
Tolkien voting block.
Very important voting block.
You just
locked the whole fucking thing up, honestly.
I'm excited about your fake video.
Yeah, I really
got to learn how to do
some sort of video editing or something so I can make these
things happen. Yeah, you got to pilot that out.
See how people feel. Just test it to a few.
I'm thinking Claymation.
Oh, yes.
I was with you until then.
There's something about Clay the animation that upsets me
that is the worst idea ever
stop motion sculpting effort
alright well I'm just going to turn $8,000 worth
of video equipment
that I've built this whole joke up to
promote okay
I would like if Trump
Trump becomes like a
like he'll only now be on
TV deep faked onto John Cena's body
he's tired of the jokes
he wants to be jacked
that's the only way
I mean have you seen him
recently
he's lost
our theory was right
or maybe it was just my theory that he was going to
lose a shit ton of weight
right after he lost the election.
That's last week, folks.
He could pick up more stars nowadays.
He's in a robe.
Yeah, yeah.
You've never seen this picture, Taylor?
No.
No, I've never seen it.
This picture made the rounds as he was running the first time.
It's just like an embarrassing photo, but it didn't stick.
Yeah, I don't think there's anything embarrassing about it.
I mean, it's not Bert Reynolds on a bear rug.
I don't know. He just looks like a guy
on a bed. Yeah, I mean, it's not like
a good picture or anything. It probably
wouldn't want people to see that one. You know,
you go through your camera roll after you take a bunch of pictures
on like a summer day out with your girlfriend. You're like,
all right, like 80% of those made the cut.
Maybe not the one where the bee chased us okay
yeah it's not super embarrassing but it's also not flattering to answer the elon musk thing i
hope he like brings trump back that would be so good so that that would be a very entertaining
timeline that would be fun to watch it would yeah i i saw
this it was a meme somewhere and they're like you know so jeff bezos buys the washington post one of
america's major newspapers uh bill gates has contributed something like a hundred million
dollars to different journalists and such and then elon musk buys twitter and it's like the
american oligarchs are owning our information sources yeah that's not new like
i just got more though right like to buy twitter is a big deal how active are you guys on twitter
oh i post every month mostly it's a place for like joking every so often but hockey highlights
for me um every time i i like i never post anything
on twitter but i like to go there to read and it always like makes me upset to like see like
there are people who think a certain way like like oh that person is just like so different
from me they're almost like a different like species or something i don't know you know
a lot of people feel that way but twitter doesn't get like me that way at all but i will i'm not immune to it though because maybe last year
facebook would all the time now i watch a podcast where i don't know why i'm pimping them do you
guys know the breaking points podcast at all you're familiar with this no no so they're a news podcast
um their whole spiel is just ripping on mainstream media about how dishonest and how unfair they
paint every story while they themselves are dishonest
and paint every story wildly unfairly.
I get my daily dose of being infuriated
at someone on the internet from them.
YouTube has figured out this dumb ass will
click on every video they put there and off i go it's easy to like like get yourself upset about
stuff that doesn't matter at all like i did this to myself like a week ago it was because like you
know hockey is different from the other major sports in that in football, there are a ton of huge metropolises where that's the biggest team.
So there's a huge Baltimore journalism presence for the Ravens.
There's a huge presence for the Raiders, whatever the hell.
In hockey, it's so much less popular that you only get huge news from Toronto media.
So everything is about the Maple leafs all the time and like i got genuinely mad because
all these leafs fans were like austin matthews is better than connor mcdavid which is going to
mean nothing to you if you don't know the hockey world but it triggered me real good and i was like
responding to journalists like you clown you fucking clown that's so wrong here's their stats
here's this i kept getting blocked by these journalists. I'm like, all right, I'm going to be less aggressive.
I disagree with your take.
Here's their past three years of stats.
That guy blocked me.
And so I'm just getting blocked all over the place from Toronto sports media
for being like, Connor McDavid's obviously better.
He's the best player in the world, bar none.
Stop your Toronto cope.
Is it that bad that you have the second best player in the world? Can you celebrate that? No, he's got to be the best player in the world, bar none. Stop your Toronto Cope. Is it that bad that you have the second best player in the world?
Can you celebrate that?
No, he's got to be the best.
And it just like, that couldn't matter less in my whole world.
And I got mad about it for no reason.
And it just shows like, you'll find a way to get,
if you're in an agitated mood, you'll find something to get.
But it kind of looks good on paper.
I'll grant you that.
But if you actually watch the games,
it's all about Austin.
Yeah, I'm not getting sucked in, man.
I'm not getting sucked in, man.
Found his hot button.
It was a hot button.
And I know that a couple of people
were trolling. Have you ever
been trolled and as you're being trolled,
you can't help but respond? Someone
in quasi-earnest being like,
just take a look at Gretzky's numbers this season
compared to Austin Matthews. And it's like,
no!
It's not even close!
I know you're lying and it's still
getting to me, but I know what you mean.
I don't listen to political
podcasts. That sounds miserable,
but if that is the way you say it is, it doesn't sound fun to listen to political podcasts that sounds miserable but uh if that is the way
you say it is it doesn't sound fun to listen to did you see the video that fox news supposedly
edited to make joe biden look lost and confused i want to know how long it was edited i need we
know how much of an edit there was done though because my guess is look there were it wasn't
a deep fake.
He was walking around lost.
Please tell me then, how much of it was edited?
So what happened is Tucker Carlson showed a video of Joe Biden in two different instances.
And the first one he's looking at, he's kind of like looking lost and confused.
And then they cut it.
So what happened was, is he was looking in the room for someone.
And then he
introduced that person to someone else so right before he saw that person he goes oh you like
come here they cut it yeah so he looked like he didn't know where he was going or what room he
was in he did but in reality he's scanning a sea of people trying to find the person that he's
looking for and then there's another instance where um obama is talking
to someone biden sort of puts his hand on his shoulder like to get his attention obama talks
for a few seconds longer and then turns around and biden introduces someone to obama and right
before obama turns around that's where the cut is so they make it look like obama ignored him for
some indefinite amount of time and there's also like another little clip where like obama ignored him for some indefinite amount of time and there's also like another little clip
where like obama has like a group that has gravitated around his that's the second one
okay and they're off to the left and joe's off to the right kind of like
he looks real he looks like he's trying to make it to the bathroom but it was too late or something
he looks so confused he looks what i remember it he has his hand on obama's shoulder and obama didn't like immediately stop talking i don't think he even
knows whose hand is on his course not you know so uh but so he continues on for a minute turns
around sees it's joe and gives him the attention in any case can we can we can we at least admit
that there are several parts in those videos where regardless of what he was trying to do or who was
in the room he looks like a confused weak old man he yeah he does have uh he has old man face like you know
confused old man face where you're slightly agape when your eyes are too open and you're kind of
yeah just just just a little bit like like just i guess befuddled would be the word he's frail too
it's a bad look and because that like shit i don't know you start beating the same
drum again and again you start looking for that thing right joe biden speaking poorly and
stuttering joe biden looking confused like you just push that narrative out again and again and
again then every time he makes it true it's that's it's that much worse where if you were to do that
same thing to like um jim jordan for example well
he doesn't have a problem with looking like a goof like that he's the wrestler dude who overlooked
the pedophiles he said i don't even know who that is he's a good speaker he's a republican it doesn't
matter i picked him because he's alert and and a cognizant i don't know if that's i'm looking
coherent he's alert and coherent and if you were to try to like find a moment where he was perhaps looking into a sea of people it wouldn't stick because he doesn't have that issue but joe
biden on the other hand it sticks yeah well i mean there's a lot of examples of him looking
befuddled and confused with old man face like just kind of looking out of it or or giving speeches
in ways that are disjointed or like you don't know anything jack like just out of looking out of it or giving speeches in ways that are disjointed
or like, you don't know anything, Jack, like just out of nowhere.
We're like, hey, what do you think about Ukraine?
Hey, Jack, I'll tell you what about my hair.
Yeah, you dog face pony boy or whatever it is.
I like that better than what he said.
Pony boy is funny.
It almost makes it sound like it's some sort of a kink.
He's a pony boy.
Get him out of here.
Fucking creep. What did he really say? soldier dog face pony soldier i don't know what that means
oh neither make any sense but i mean the neurons in his brain are dying like it's just it was just
the four closest words to the number of syllables closest to the phrase he was supposed to say
like they if i remember right the explanation was it was a line
from a movie, but like all
the King's horses and all the King's men could not
find that line in any movie.
He found it out.
He's like, oh, that's from an old
John Wayne film, and they're like, nah.
Fuck out of here.
That would be a funny, desperate cover.
Fact check, it was actually done
in a 1927 student film which
yes it was in german do you know he doesn't speak german you know he didn't speak german
so i got a few bets out there now that that say um varying things about the election like
before it's even begun but i think i got trump winning with a couple people just just right out
of the gate um like i did back in 2016 and uh i'm pretty sure that's what's gonna you put a little
money on it uh yeah like 101 person maybe 50 with another no i've got 100 with uh midi that
trump will not go to jail or receive any charges really like he won't be found guilty of anything
that matters and even if he is it won't be like a felony that sticks to him or hurts him it'll be like oh you missed him misdemeanor mismanagement
charges you've got to organize that paperwork better next time yeah i don't think he's gonna
go to jail yeah so i got 100 on that and middy's like well but for how long and i'll give you four
years what he's like like yeah in the next four years he won't because as soon as the election
process starts like nothing nothing's happening after that yeah are you taking even odds on those bets yeah
wow yeah that's it seems like something should pay out better but probably so
you should give him odds because it's way less likely it's gonna happen though it's it's just
going to happen what's gonna happen? I was looking up the...
One bet is that Trump will not...
Nothing will stick to Trump legally.
That he might hit a misdemeanor,
like mismanagement charge or whatever.
Like some bullshit thing that rich company people get.
But it won't be like,
fucking felony sedition,
hanging from the highest steeple.
Nothing like that has happened.
He ain't going
to jail um and i gave him a four-year time limit that so in four years maybe he's got to pay out
um you should shorten that 2026 with the way inflation goes you're getting the equivalent of
you're gonna get three gallons of gas in 2026
it'll be the other one just winning the election just trump winning the election against the entire You're going to get three gallons of gas in 2026. Oh my goodness.
What was the other one?
Just Trump winning the election? Oh, just Trump winning the election against the entire field of conservatives and Democrats.
I would take that one.
I know that he's the favorite.
Of course you would.
Well, from my point or from like, would you take Trump?
I think Trump will not be the next president.
I think there's a strong chance he's collecting money and he keeps it.
That's what they said in 2016.
And the momentum built.
He saw he could do it and he took it.
So, like, here's the thing.
Trump right now has, actually, as of last month, like April 28th or something like that,
I want to say he had like $120 million in the coffers.
Something like that, yeah.
The entire Republican party has about 45
the entire democrat party has about 44 yeah he has more than more than both of them combined
which really means that he has all of his money and all the conservative money and don't forget
like attack ads don't work on him so any any attack ad they make where they put his face on TV can only serve him well.
There's a reason he has more money.
And it's not because he's collecting more, which you might think.
It's because he's not spending it.
He's not running for anything.
The Trump PACs just collect money and keep it.
The Republican PACs collect money and they buy ads.
They buy legal fees.
They buy transportation.
Whatever it takes to run a campaign.
Trump, on the other hand, just gathers cash.
Whatever it takes to run all the campaigns.
That's the other thing to keep in mind.
Trump's $100 million in money is just for Trump.
Their $40 million has to divvied out to these little state congressional things.
Like anywhere.
Did you want some poster board?
All right.
It's a huge amount of money that he's raised and he hasn't started raising it for real yet
he hasn't even announced yet but he's out there at the rallies and he's doing his old you know
he's doing his whole thing you might be right especially during the early part of the republican
primary i think that money is a big advantage eventually there will be a democratic nominee
and that guy will go swimming in cash.
He'll have no trouble, whoever it is.
You've got to respect the grind, though.
Here's the thing. We're like,
he hasn't announced. It's way too early to announce.
No one has announced.
Even Biden hasn't announced.
True.
And yet, there's only one man out there
grinding right now.
Right now, I bet Donald Trump's on the road somewhere,
like going over his notes, eating fried chicken,
and getting blown by someone who is not that hag that he walks around with.
If I wasn't busy, I would go to his rally this weekend.
I was thinking of going.
It's in North Carolina.
It's like 30 minutes from me or something.
But I will be four hours from me.
So I'm not...
If I'd known that that last one was in Commerce, Georgia,
I'd have absolutely went.
That's where I grew up.
My dad lives like 30 minutes from there.
I'd have totally went.
I'm not a huge Trump fan.
No.
He doesn't know me, but the audience does.
But I would go for the experience.
I just want to see what's up.
I'll go people watching.
I want to see the magic.
My girlfriend and I used to go people watching on the weekends.
We'd go to the jockey lot or the flea market,
those big open market things where you walk around.
One guy is selling turtles, and then some other guy is selling cologne he made himself.
It's that kind of outdoor market.
And the people watching is fantastic.
That's a Georgia thing.
There's just a lot of that happening.
Yeah, it's real cool.
A Trump rally is that on steroids.
It's almost like they're doing people watching and having a fair about it.
it's almost like they're doing people watching and having a fair about it.
Everyone there is celebrating the same, they are of one mind.
And they've got their team colors on.
It's like going to a football game where the other side didn't even show.
It's fun to be surrounded by people of the same mindset. That's a good way to put it.
Yeah, that is a really well phrased.
surrounded by people of the same good way to put it yeah that is a really well phrased um i want to go and see if it's like see you would be foolish to believe that the trump rally is really what all
gas no brakes i think says it is right he surely finds the dumbest guy there and gets them to
like not believe anything trump you gotta find good wrong. So I want to go and see the actual people
and see what they're like.
See, I'm like the opposite of,
I have no interest to go to any political rally ever
because I imagine like,
even though Trump is the funniest politician ever,
it's not going to be like a standup show.
I'll get the highlights.
I'll get the funny clips later.
Like I don't care about the stuff where he's like,
and now let's get serious for a minute can i just can we can we give it up for our cops and it's like
shut up like make fun of someone that would be the disappointing part anything serious doesn't
live up to the hype and you just you're like want to fast forward through it you go there like
gonna talk about our cops our brave hero you mentioned the all gas no brakes guy i think he's channel five news now on on youtube my
understanding like from the outside looking in was that the All Gas No Brakes thing was owned by a media company maybe,
and they paid him a pittance and ripped him off, sort of stole his idea.
And so he rebranded his Channel 5 News, and now he's doing his own thing.
Last I heard, Andrew Callahan, I think is his name.
Last I heard, he was trying to get to Ukraine next.
Last time I looked, he was doing the get to ukraine next after i think last time i looked he was doing the
freedom convoy in dc but like ukraine was on the horizon once he had a passport so i like that guy
yeah yeah he like he had he went and did his own thing now a separate separate from whoever like
had something over on him and uh is doing his youtube channel now under like the name channel
five news so he just introduces himself as channel five news, you know, as the same guy.
Business can be interesting that way.
And like in the YouTube world.
So I have two examples that come to mind where like this company takes
someone,
they take this personality,
they make them huge.
And now that personality realizes that they're really the person in the
driver's seat.
Jenna marbles did that,
right?
She was with bar stool sports.
And,
uh,
after a while while she's like
you know i'm leaving you because really it's about me and she got rich and famous without
paying barstool sports very much and they're like we made you it's like yeah maybe but now i am me
so bite me um yeah i want to watch that happen go ahead i. I was just going to say that's fair, right?
Isn't that fair?
It's not like they developed her.
I don't know.
Even if they did, it doesn't matter.
At some point, you're your own person.
You don't own me.
I'm not a product.
The work I do for you, if you have a thing you're plugging me into,
if I come on and do your show, then that's your product,
that show that we did together. But I'm still me like here's an example let's say did you want to say something
yet oh no i was just going to say that was it's an issue that we've seen a lot in the car world
because 10 years ago you were sort of captive to who whatever platform you were releasing content
on and the same in sports and everything else but when a lot of the publishers had a bit of a failure of imagination
as to what would happen
if they let their writers plug their social channels
and they allowed it
and those that were successful in it
left, took the audience,
built more of an audience
and totally crushed
with the people who they used to write
$100 articles for.
And so, you know,
Doug DeMuro is the biggest example of that in the car world
is that he was writing for Joe Blotnick.
And then they let him embed his YouTube videos
at a time when no one was making any money on YouTube.
He starts to get a subscriber base,
and now he's the biggest car YouTuber in the world.
And so it's one of those things that we see a lot.
And it was just old media approach, right, is the only thing that matters is their ability to be on my site. And that's no longer true.
all the biggest people at the time just kind of left.
Like a lot of those companies were trying to like move old style corporate structures into the new digital world.
And it didn't work out for,
you know,
who's that in the cocaine I was told didn't help at machinima's headquarters.
Oh,
the devil blah.
Allegedly,
allegedly,
I don't know.
Allegedly.
I've only heard from people,
from people I trust only from direct.
People are saying only from verified direct eyewitness people are saying only from verified direct
eyewitnesses who are incredibly trustworthy good people very smart people just people on the ground
that's all the the only people who are managing to stay like to that old media thing and like
keep their shit locked up and they're still able to say fuck you to anybody and everybody's the
ufc though they do they still do that pay-per-view model um they've got espn in cahoots with them like it doesn't matter you
get paid what you'll get paid if you want to be on the biggest stage in the world and it's fairly
competitive like if you get paid what you're worth and a lot if this all right so like um this patty
the baddie guy right getting paid 12 000 to show up and 12 000 to win his barstool sports money
aside because he's getting like he's got a seven figure deal there.
But as far as UFC,
yeah.
As far as the UFC goes,
like he's able to say at this point,
clearly a next fight,
new contract,
right?
There's no way that Dana White's going to be like,
no,
no,
there's no way I'm giving you $75,000 next time.
Right?
Like, that's probably all he has to do. It's like an, it's an extra a hundred or 200,000 next time, right?
That's probably all he has to do.
It's an extra $100,000 or $200,000 that this kid wants.
He's going to make that happen.
But if he wanted $10 million to show up,
Dana White would say, go fuck yourself.
And you can't leave.
UFC contracts are interesting in this way.
Let's say, here's me.
I'm an average UFC fighter fighter which is to say amazing but amongst ufc fighters i'm kind of average they're like all right woody i will pay
you a 40 grand to show 40 grand to win and you'll fight other average people if you think you're
about to make a title run i'll pay you 80 and 80 but you're about to go down murderer's row
and a murderer's room might get
you like you could go on a three fight losing streak and find yourself out so patty be careful
what you wish for patty's facing easier competition in the ufc than he did to get into the ufc in the
like minor league shows if he starts getting 75 75 example, then they're going to ask him to fight some
mother truckers.
Since we're kind of touching on
UFC, I got to talk about Kamzat
Zemayev. This guy,
he's fighting this weekend.
The unbeaten guy with the hair.
Are you having a stroke?
He has the name wrong.
Kamzat?
That part might be right.
Did I get the last name wrong?
I thought you started with a Z. Did I make a mistake?
I'd make mistakes. I thought it was like
Zamyav or something like that. I'm about to get it right.
I mean, it's going to be some other gobbledygook
word. It's not like I made
beeps or something.
It's Khamzat Chamyav.
Come on! Y'all freaked out!
Oh!
Oh! Thank you. Y'all freaked out. Oh. Oh.
Thank you.
Obviously.
I know who that is.
He's fighting this weekend.
Everybody's pretty hyped about it.
He's fighting Gilbert Burns.
And so I've been watching his embedded thing and how hard he's training for this fight.
And I've never seen anything quite like this.
He goes to sleep after training four times that day.
And then he wakes up at midnight to train a fifth
time that day and and and and and he starts doing self like affirmations while he does uh speed rope
in the dark while his coach times him and i wrote down what he said how do you time someone in the
dark what he's sitting in the dark with because the speed rope is going click, click, click, click, click, click, click.
He's hitting a speed rope at midnight in the dark with his coach talking to himself.
And this is what he said.
I'm the best ever.
Click, click, click, click.
Better than everybody.
Smash everybody.
Nobody's like me.
He's too slow, coach.
He's too weak.
I'm too strong.
Too fast.
My conditioning has no limit
limited edition conditioning he's and then he said something and then the music like kicks in
and like that little docudrama and it goes he said my right hand coach it broke the mountains
and then he starts going fast and i was like all right i like this guy a lot this guy's great he's
talking about breaking mountains and shit um was he doing it was he saying that like in in kind of broken english
oh yeah in that like cutesy sort of like barely able to speak the language kind of yeah non in
an endearing way very much endearing yeah it's it's uh and when he says smash he says smash
no i'm looking forward to that so he was talking about how he got inspired to go into the UFC, right?
So at this point, he's like the number two Swiss wrestler or something.
I don't know why he wrestles in Switzerland.
He's Russian of some sort.
But anyway, he watches Conor McGregor knock out Jose Aldo in 13 seconds.
Conor McGregor is a bad man right now.
The baddest man on the planet in his weight class.
He says this,
if that guy did that shit, why can't I?
Mentally, I'm stronger
than him. My body,
bigger than him. I was feeling at that
time, if I met him outside, I could
break him. If he makes that money,
why not me? It's like, dude,
when I was watching Conor on
his run, I never thought that. I never thought, why not me? And it's like, dude, when I was watching Connor on his run, I never thought that.
I never thought, why not me?
You know, I honestly thought like, oh, wow.
So they make ninjas in Ireland.
Oh, okay.
Where's Chechnya?
Oh, God.
It's in Western Russia, right?
That's where they had like those ethnic cleansing wars for like a decade
this guy's maybe that's not a hair lip maybe it's a bullet wound i i don't understand russian borders
anymore i don't either well they border like 30 fucking countries but like what is russia what is
just what russia thinks is russia is georgia russia for example yes they'd like it
i think chechnya is russia but again i really i don't know yeah chechnya is a region of russia
so that's why like khabib is is russian well he's not he's from there right no he's from
well i was just using the only other guy I know.
Dagestan.
Now, see, that could be Russia, too.
I don't know.
Relevant, though.
He's just a hard-as-nail motherfucker who grew up in a rough place and really looking forward to seeing him fight this weekend.
He's a real ugly guy, too, which I appreciate.
Do you ever just look at a map of Europe without the names
and realize you don't know anything about how the world works?
Oh, God. I do that with
lots of maps, too.
Can you believe they got...
Let me ask you a real question, Taylor.
How sure are you
that they have cars in Moldova?
I'm
pretty sure.
I bet they're like
Eastern Bloc cars. Either that or is that one of the
places where they have big F1 races?
Here's what I would guess. I would guess that the car
to oxen driven cart
ratio is not one
to zero. You know what I would bet?
I bet they have really
physically hardy women
there. From pulling the
carts. From so many of their men
having died in anonymous
battles and wars probably i don't
know if they fight in wars in moldova they're i mean soon maybe we'll see how things go what's
happening in the dumbass i thought moldova was like uh blue watered mediterranean location
ah that sounds like a much nicer place look at look at the way look you look at moldova on the
map it's one of those countries where like
another country steals all of their uh access to water it's like moldova's here and ukraine's like
it's like have you ever seen croatia the audacity of croatia
pull up croatia and look at what they're doing to Serbia and all these, all these other places in this beautiful beach and Croatia just slices it.
It's,
it's a,
have you looked at Croatia?
It's a total you.
They just stole the entire,
that has to be a byproduct.
I don't know anything about the situation.
That has to be a byproduct of a real bad-ass group of people.
Don't you think?
Like there was at some point,
those are the people wanted access to that
river or coastline, and they were just like,
no, do you want to die for it, though?
That happened at some point, right?
There is an example of a...
Oh, that's not fair!
Look at that!
It goes all the way down!
Look, after the city
of Plos or whatever, there's a
tiny gap for Bosnia to get
its food food and then
croatia said fuck you we're taking dubrovnik as well a little additional bit oh that's the gap i
do see it yeah they let it so it doesn't even connect they just took it that's hilarious we'll
let you have one cheatery there's a there's an example that's closer to home and kyle i don't
mean to hurt your feelings but georgia and alabama got
buttfucked by florida they're just like oh the golf yeah that's mine yeah well we'll see there
was a time when they had the entire southern united states buttfuck remember the like the
louisiana purchase like those lines went all the or some map that I've seen where it just cuts...
The wording was,
from here and everything westward.
They didn't even know what was there.
I was just like, the fuck?
It was a straight line that went to California
and into the Pacific Ocean.
It was like, yeah, all of that too.
It made Oklahoma like a thousand miles long.
Yeah.
Those old maps, it's great.
No, we don't have a lot of coastline. What we have sucks you ever been to Jekyll Island I didn't know there was one
that's what it's a it's a muddy pustule off the coast of Georgia that you have to go on
over a bridge to see um I cut my feet a lot on those conch shells and that muddy water
I don't know what I was doing out there I was so i think back now to how far i walked from shore and it probably pales in comparison to some of
the nonsense woody did back in the day in jersey but like we were easily a thousand yards out like
like half of like you could just walk like it was like up to your like belly button and like we were
feeling around on the ocean floor for like conch shells you know they're sharp and we were feeling around on the ocean floor for conch shells. They're sharp.
And we were collecting them.
I don't know.
We did that for oysters.
We would eat them at night.
You would not want to eat an oyster from where we were.
Good point, Kyle, because I'm sure the oysters on the bottom of Long Beach Island in New Jersey, that's where you want them.
You're coming up with a bucket.
We call this Jersey City Gold.
Just a bunch of rotten oil slippery.
Let me tell you how bad this vacation I was on.
This was also... They had just removed lead from the gas
when I was doing this.
That's what they have instead of oysters is lead.
That's probably Jekyll Island,
but it's like a nice part maybe.
This was the super wow trip, the one where I got corralled into that socially awkward Bible study group for a week in Jekyll Island.
Yeah, it was the worst.
But it was also the year when they had those massive fires in Florida.
And so the smoke was coming up the coast, and it turned the water ash-colored.
There was so much smoke that the ocean water turned to ash.
It was disgusting.
How does Florida burn?
I feel like it's so muggy.
It'd be hard to get anything going.
Oh, they burn.
Central Florida burns like crazy.
Oh, it burns.
Across the highway.
Yeah.
I feel like this is a Kramer answer.
Oh, it burns.
Oh, it burns.
My friend Bob Sacamano was down there two summers ago.
He started a huge place
It's also what will happen
If DeSantis puts up too much of a fight
Against Trump I think
He'll just go Sherman on him
And burn Florida
So I don't know anything about this DeSantis guy
He's the governor of Florida right
So everything I've heard about him
So he's the guy behind the
What do they call
that bill that protects children don't say gay yeah that one um he's behind that bill and um
but but every now and then i hear him speak out like on the covet stuff i remember him being like
super lax yes no masks no closing anything and you know i saw this map the other day that showed
deaths per like thousand state by state
with a color map.
Clearly, Florida was ahead
a little bit, quite a bit.
It was like maybe an extra person per thousand
died versus the places that were
super locked down.
Man, that's not that bad considering that they did
two full spring breaks where
nobody gave a fuck.
They're actively
mocking people wearing masks and
stuff yeah i think this story is interesting so he was a politician not really of note like he
wasn't killing it on the big stage or anything and he was uh what i'll call a traditional republican
oh that doesn't look bad for florida it was what i'll call a traditional republican you know let's
do the small government thing let's do the pro-life thing whatever and then he saw trump's success and he rebranded himself right this is a
guy who went to yale and then he went to harvard to get his law degree he was comes from money he's
like he's really smart but now like his whole thing is like i'm going to the right of trump
on covid i'm going to the right here i on COVID. I'm going to the right here.
I'm the guy.
I'm more Trump than Trump.
I'm Trump, but I speak like an intelligent guy.
But I speak a lot like Trump, just without the stuttering and confusion.
And he's a better Trump than Trump is.
Donald Trump says we need to send back illegal immigrants to their own countries.
I say not to let them pay up.
We send them to to their own countries. I say not to let them pay up. We send them to our
enemy's countries.
That's a good line, too.
But, so yeah,
he's sort of
joined the performative
theater branch of the Republican Party
where he's previously a traditional
one, and he's wildly
successful with it. He might be a good pick
to be the next president he's 43 i yeah 43 yeah i thought that it's weird to see a politician not
elderly i feel like it is these days he's not a great looking 43 he i mean that's valid that's a
lot of sun taxing but the traditional mindset of a politician is that you win the 51st percent.
And that's how you win.
So you target the center.
You end up just your side of center.
And that's how you win.
And unless the other candidate, like Hillary Clinton was, was so polarizing that you've got a chance.
And so Trump proved that you didn't have to do that.
And DeSantis is certainly rolling heavy into that mindset.
Yeah.
Is he like the big guy that they think is going to run?
I would say Trump is the big guy they think is going to run.
But DeSantis is like...
He's number two.
Who else is there?
I don't hear about anybody else.
Marco Rubio, I'm sure.
That guy sucks.
Not him.
Like all of the standard guys.
What's his name? Romney. Romney will want back in. Romney sure. That guy sucks, not him. Like all of the standard guys. What's his name?
Romney will want back in.
Romney sucks.
Ted Cruz sucks.
Rubio sucks.
I mean, I don't like these people.
I'm just telling you who's going to run.
DeSantis would have a tremendous chance if Trump didn't run.
But they will split the same voting group,
and they could end up costing both of both each other
the primary to somebody else who you know just no that's trump's running mate right there that's
the dream fucking team you lock up florida you go ahead and lock up florida you got you got the
younger guy who like you feel so much more secure with like an 83 year old donald trump or whatever
he'll be like that's the dream team kyle's not wrong they
are currently mortal enemies you know they they hate each other but we've watched this play out
with ted cruz and lindsey graham where as soon as there's a clear victory i'm sorry clear victor
then they stop being enemies enemy of my enemy is my friend okay and nobody likes those dirty
democrats trying to take our children and
put them in those indoctrination camps i've seen the camps with my own eyes they're they're
kidnapping kids i mean not literally chaining them up in the it's a small world ride we've
known about this i've seen the camps in my own visions actually based on the new uh definition
of literally according to webster's dictionary i
have literally seen those camps now now and and webster's dictionary i guess literally is
is defined as figuratively because because that's how it's used most often because we have fallen
into an idiocracy in which people didn't know what the word literally meant.
Yeah, but then you wouldn't change the definition because people start using a word incorrectly.
You would hope.
You literally would.
You literally do.
That's how definitions work.
They literally did that in the traditional definition.
That's how we got to where we are.
I promise you, if we step back 50 years, you'll barely understand the language.
500 and you won't be able to speak.
50 years?
They have TV shows from then, dude.
And they sound weird.
Here's a perfect example.
Look at Woody. 50 years old.
Woodworth, doth thou ready yourself
for feasting time?
Oh yeah, I remember when I was a kid.
The ritual slaughter
of animals on our farm.
And serfdom.
Yeah, no. There should at least be a little isn't that the line
that the dictionary is supposed to hold hold the line of word definitions like hey you're using
that one incorrectly no no the line they're not they're not the roherum hold i'm kind of on team
taylor with this in that,
look,
if we invent a new word,
right?
If all of a sudden we start saying like,
this thing is like giga huge.
And that just becomes a way of saying really big.
Fine.
Now we have a new word.
But if I start using literally incorrectly,
we should have a real resistance to changing the definition.
I've resisted it for a decade.
I'm with you.
I resisted for a decade. And what's you. I resisted it for a decade.
And what's the other one that I hate?
Oh, when people say I could care less.
Supposedly. Do you know what you're saying when you say you could care less?
You care quite a bit, I guess.
You're defining the amount you
care as greater than
zero. I could draw this on a
math board. I could
care quite a bit less.
I couldn't care less.
I couldn't care less
about how you want to say that phrase
because you're wrong.
I'm with you.
I take great pride in knowing the
difference between farther and further.
That's one of my things.
Do you ever dominate someone in
public with that?
No.
You meant further.
Sir, get away from me.
You're approaching another customer's drive-thru window.
I couldn't help but notice.
That is not the urinal feedback I was looking for.
I asked you to pull up further.
I meant
when I said get further away,
you knew what I meant.
Get the hell away from me.
I don't know how I stumbled on it, but
someone was talking about Dan Gable,
the famous American wrestler
who was like... I don't know who that is.
He invented the Gable Grip.
You've heard of the Gable Grip? I have.
Anyway, famous American
wrestler, and it was a quote from one of
his roommates.
Let me go.
What? Let me go.
I'm not gay.
Apparently, one night, like jumped out of bed and started doing push-ups like in the middle of the night and um and he was like what are you doing and he had he had
had a nightmare that the russians were training harder than him he had a nightmare that his
russian opponent at the olymp Olympics was out there training right now.
And he slept on a Russian sleep schedule so that he knew that he would be training when they were training.
And he could literally go further, like that mattered.
Yeah, as if that would matter.
Apparently it did.
Apparently it did.
Look at his Wikipedia.
This was an inspirational figure to you?
It has been for some time, yes.
I wake up in the night and do push-ups a lot.
I do.
That's not very good fatigue
management from this guy. He needs to be resting.
He needs to be recovering.
Nothing would make
a Russian competitor happier than knowing
do you know your competitor has had
no vitamin D in the last six weeks
and he's doing push-ups in the middle of the night?
It's like, this is great news for Igor.
I'm going to fuck that retard up.
And I had a question.
Let's pretend I'm buying a thing,
right? Motorcycle car,
that thing. And I'm
reasonably confident everyone's selling this thing
for like eight grand but one
silly head puts it up for six grand does ed try to get that guy to four or does he does he know
he's he's got a deal when he sees it that's a great question there's only been a handful of
times in the car world where i've seen a deal that was so good that you didn't negotiate whatsoever. I think that if you get into a situation like that,
negotiating is one of the best ways to figure out if you're being scammed. And if something is
alarmingly below a market value, if you don't try to get some movement out of a seller,
then you are running a greater risk of being scammed by that person. And so, you know,
it's just one of those things that I enjoy the negotiative nature of
everything. And so, yeah, I'm always going to try.
You're in Georgia. Is that right?
I am. Yeah. North of Atlanta.
In New Jersey, I would a hundred percent agree with you because I feel like
everyone sort of like, they don't get their feelings hurt by your offer.
They're just, it's not so sensitive down here. Like if you're close enough they'll be like no like all right i'll come up no you
closed your door dick you hurt my feelings by coming in a thousand under what i said i don't
want to hear your further offers and i'm not weird to me you know it's possible i think there's always
people who get overly emotional about
anything that's transactional. I mean, at the end of the day, I'm telling you what I'm committing
to pay and you should be telling me what you're committed to ask for. And whoever's commitment
or resolve is stronger is probably the one that's going to come out ahead in it. And I miss that
about the day-to-day car business. I sold Lamborghinis, Aston Martins, McLarens, and
Lotuses at an authorized dealer for six years. And the negotiating with people was the fun of it. Now, if you go in there today,
everything's sold out. So every new car pretty much from almost any brand right now is sold out.
So salesmen are just taking orders. And that sounds like an utterly miserable existence. I
mean, you go work at Target and have the same experience. You can go to the phone. Yeah, exactly.
Here's another thing.
Now, I'm unfamiliar really with the world of high-end cars.
You've sat in a car, I imagine, that is worth $2 million new
and a car that's worth half a million new.
How do they distinguish themselves from each other?
Do you ever sit in that half-million-dollar car and be like,
what is this just leather
from a cow like not even an ostrich or anything like this isn't human skin what the fuck i i like
this feels pedestrian would human skin be the best is that what we really would be the most
prestigious ickiness aside is it the most luxurious probably too thin i'm not sure if it tans very well like oh it is
the uh no not really if you thought about and there aren't a lot of manufacturers that sell
cars throughout that entire range so it's not always apples to apples but like uh i was just
out in vegas with a sponsor and we were doing a bit with uh the law ferrari that ruined steve
wynn's relationship with Ferrari.
And so that's a car that knew was at $1,600,000 and now it's worth about $4 million.
And to be quite honest, the infotainment, the controls of the car, everything feels exactly like the $300,000 car that Ferrari sold.
Now, it has a very exotic power plant.
But the most significant thing about it is that it is built in a lower quantity, and that's what creates the value.
And so it's not a car that they build 25,000 of in a 458 or 488.
It's a car they built, they said, 499 of.
And so, yeah, so that's a lot of Ferrari.
About every decade, they build what they would call a supercar or a hypercar level thing.
Supercar has been sort of brought down a notch as the word hypercar has come out but that's a
you know 920 horsepower hybridized v12 probably be the last um you know a big displacement
version of a car like that that they do and it's always been known to be impossible to get one
and so it's it's an exclusivity and a barrier to entry much more than the tangible value there.
Same thing with a McLaren.
If you compare a McLaren Senna to a 720S or a 675LT, same thing.
It's not that much better.
It might use a little bit more carbon fiber or something like that, but the experiential
nature of it isn't wildly, wildly different.
As cars get older, then certainly some of them start to get to be
valuable based on whatever the criteria is. And hopefully that's because they're legitimately
special. I mean, the way that someone would react to either seeing it or driving it is great. We
shot a car track series last year at the Amelia Island Concours, and we opened by borrowing a
$20 million McLaren F1 and drove it around for several hours,
had a blast in it. And it's one of those things, it's a 90s supercar, the fastest car ever in the
mid 90s and went 240 miles an hour. And today, I have a car that I spent less than $200,000 on
that is faster than it, makes a better noise, is is a lot more comfortable but it's special because you know there's only 106 of those built and it represents a lot of the reasons why we love cars
and so it's much more emotional than tangible at that point oh that makes sense do you have
such a dumb what's your favorite car but like i i you mentioned the f1 and And at the time, if I have my history right, it competed with a Porsche, the 959.
Correct.
And I was always on team 959.
I liked it so much more, as if I've touched either one of them.
But the 959, they lost money on that car.
They were about the same price.
Correct.
The Porsche lost money on their 959.
It was an amazing car they had similar
performance characteristics 959 was maybe a little heavier but i think it had actual air
conditioning and like it's a car you might want to own and live in whereas the f1 was almost like
something lotus would produce like a wildly overpowered go-kart with make-believe you know
carbon fiber shell on top of it and uh i was like oh that just seems cheap
and porsche like the thing i read is the executives would like scratch their head and
you know look down at the ground when you asked them how much money they lost on every one
well the ferrari guys were like we're making so much bank selling this overpowered go-kart to
ferrari fans and that's why I liked it.
So the 959 has always been my, like,
if you could have anything, that's what you want.
So you preferred the Porsche that he showed over this car?
Yeah.
Now, that picture didn't look as flattering as it was in my memory.
Yeah, that was an awful Porsche.
Yeah.
It's a stretched out car.
If I'm being honest, it's the worst Porsche I've ever seen.
Zach, can you find a picture that looks good?
No, Kyle, find a picture that looks worse.
There are some. Some of the prototypes looked really,
really goofy, but it was like an elongated
911 that had
some new vents. There you go.
White is not their color.
It was the car
that Bill Gates petitioned Congress along with a lot of other rich people
that were upset that Porsche refused to sell it to them to create a new law called the
show or display law.
And so they ended up in, what was it?
It was probably done in the 98 or so is when you became, you could sort of apply for cars
that were not street legal in the US to come in, but you were limited to 2,500 miles a year.
And so there was a rich guy lobby that got that bolted on to the third bill it managed to pass on.
And so, yeah, to me, the F1 is the ultimate car.
I think that there's so many things that are distinctive about it.
The big naturally aspirated V12, the central seating position, the exclusivity, and it being the fastest. The 959 was arguably the first car to
officially go 200 miles an hour in stock form, and it was built for Group B racing, which is great.
The McLaren F1 wasn't really built as a race car, although it was very successful against the 959.
And so they're all great. But the great thing is when you find a
dream car like that, it can be something that changes the way that you look at cars in general.
And I think that there's a lot of things about my Lamborghini that I like because of what I like
about the F1. And I think that if you don't have to always get to the point of having the dream car,
the dream car may change over time.
They build new ones every year.
But that's one of the things that I love about how hybridized and complicated and technological new cars are.
They don't make me want them more because I know what things will break on them, especially from being in a dealership setting.
One thing that can change is your idea of what the mission is.
If it's like, oh, I like this car because I enjoy track day. And then over time, you're like, truthfully, I enjoy
city driving. You know, I like to drive in this thing and do a look at me type thing. And air
conditioning is really essential in that environment, whereas it wasn't at the track.
When the mission changes, the car can change. And that's a thing too.
Absolutely. And, you know, one of the things that happens,
especially with some of these, you know, halo cars like that is that if you ever got there,
it gets a lot harder to enjoy cheap cars again. And so many of us have had so much fun in junky
old cars that that was a lot of why we started doing the types of videos we call them car track.
And it's, it's us absolutely knocking off top gear
and we do it because you know it's kind of like comedians and cars getting coffee uh if you watch
seinfeld in that it is abundantly obvious that the first sponsor came to him and he made them agree
to the show concept before but he made him agree to the sponsorship before he told him what he was going to do. Because if he had told them, I'm going to go borrow a car that's nicer than something I would
normally drive to wherever I'm going to drive it, which is going to be a coffee shop. And I'm going
to go with a friend that I already have. And we're going to complain about being famous.
And nobody sponsors that, but they did. And it was successful. And so this was the same situation.
We had a sponsor who was open to kind of us doing whatever we wanted.
And they're like, well, if you're going to tell us we can do anything, we're going to play Top Gear.
And we figured out a way to do that.
And so we come up with a goofy challenge.
And so like most recently, it was that we had to import a car.
So a car that was more than 25 years old.
After that, you don't have to have show or display.
You can just bring anything in.
And so I brought in a right hand drive TVR Cerbera. That was probably the first legal one in the US. And yeah, we make
up some adventures. We go rent a track and have an awful lot of fun. And so, yeah, I think that
as long as you can still find ways to enjoy whatever it is about the automotive hobby or
any hobby that you want, whether it's shooting guns or fishing or anything else, just whatever
it is that makes it mean something to you. That's what you always
have to find a way to gravitate back towards. Yeah. I mean, cars are a fun one. Very,
very high barrier to entry, but yeah. I haven't found that nicer motorcycles change my enjoyment
of cheaper ones like at all like i today i rode
a drz 400 for the few people who know that bike it's a it's an inexpensive suzuki that hasn't
changed since maybe 1999 like if i'm not right i'm really close and uh and i love that bike i
went out the drugstore pickup stuff for my wife and and i'll just zip it around driving irresponsibly and it's it's a blast how is uh how is she doing since the crash
uh oh that's a supermoto version that's drz 400 though she's doing well so uh for ed's benefit
or the audience who hasn't heard my wife was learning to drive a motorcycle and it didn't come easily towards
to her.
And she had a professional instructor who wasn't me to be clear.
And she's having a great day,
just like buzzing around,
picking up speed,
getting into like fourth and fifth gear in an off-road environment on a
small bike.
I think it was like 10 horsepower Honda dirt bike.
And maybe she got fatigued or
something, but she crashed into a tree at full throttle and dislocated. It's the AC joint where
the collarbone meets the shoulder. I'm blocking it in the camera. It's right around here. So her
shoulder for some period of time, like a week, hung down low and hang down low.
And the top of it here was kind of normal.
And then this part was down low.
So the doctor took a, they called it a suture, but basically he took some string, pulled her shoulder back in, and that went really well.
They saw the x-rays like a week later, and he was bragging about how symmetrical she was how he killed it um she goes
to pt once or twice a week physical therapy and um they're very impressed with her range of motion
and she's not wearing a sling anymore she's allowed to use the arm but not put any weight in
it so basically you know their range of motion i don't think she has any restrictions on what she
can do with it but don't try to catch things.
Don't try to lift heavy things, stuff like that.
She's maybe three weeks out from surgery.
And she has five more before they put a weight in her head.
Goodness gracious.
So is she getting back on that bike?
Yes.
Yeah, she says yes.
She's allowed to change her mind.
No one's holding her to it or whatever.
But she claims that this has not discouraged her.
There was a moment where it did.
She's had some highs and lows.
She can be grumpy sometimes.
She's limited in what she can do.
And I have been injured.
Anyone who watches this show knows I make bad decisions.
And, you know, it can get you down emotionally.
Like, shucks, I'm sort of tethered to boring
shit you know she's putting lego things together in the dark that's not fun
that's that's really hard in the dark the why in the dark is because we have a um projector screen
like as a tv so you kind of turn the the room lights down so that the you can watch
on this 109 inch effectively tv which has her like sitting in the dark watching tv putting legos
together this is like like if i was trying to make you depressed that's what i would do to you
i mean the way you said it i didn't see the TV on. So I imagined you walking in like, Jackie?
And she's like Bilbo when he goes for the ring.
It's worse than you think.
She has these magnifying glasses on with like flashlights that come out of either side.
So you're like, Jackie?
And she's like.
Are the Legos the therapy?
No that's just a hobby There's not many things you can do
When you're limited to carrying one pound
And you can't catch
What are your hobbies going to be?
Legos or TV
She just paint my numbers
She enjoys TV shows that I don't.
She's currently in a bionic woman phase.
Holy shit, the old one?
Yes.
Yeah, is there a new bionic woman?
Apparently it's way better than Bionic Man, according to her.
The plot lines were stupid.
I had to tell her.
I was like, look, if you have one really strong
arm, you can't pick up a car.
Have they reinforced her
spine, her core?
How is she throwing rocks
across the desert with one
good arm? That's not how humans
work.
And I ruined the show for her.
She starts crying.
Why do you have to take everything from me?
I can't.
Wait until the last arc all over again.
This show looks terrible.
The Bionic Woman?
Is it from 1976?
I don't know.
But it's super old. I watched it as a little kid.
I watched The Six Million Dollar Man. That's The Bionic Man. but it's super old i watched it as a little kid and um i watched the six million dollar man
and that's the bionic man and the hulk was that so the hulk this is like woody young
didn't get to choose tv like childhood favorites the hulk and dukes of hazards were
dukes of hazard is a good one i didn't watch much of that, but it was so culturally
impactful that I know all the
little cliches and everything.
I remember
I got... I don't know what kind of car
that is.
Dodge Charger.
I remember someone
pulled up next to me in one of those in a gas station
with the rebel flag on the roof and everything.
It was for sale for like forty five thousand dollars.
And I was like.
If you didn't have that fucking flag on it, because it's so cool, dude, like everything about it was it did the horn, the horn had played Dixie or whatever, and like it was the right color.
It had the but it had the fucking doesn't the one.
Does the one from the show have the flag oh yeah yeah have you seen
the movie with johnny knoxville there's a part there's a part where they pull up at like a
college or something you know they're not in hazard county anymore it's all rebel flag on the
roof and like these people can see the roof and they start screaming at him because it's racist
but but like johnny knoxville and like the other guy I can't remember who it is Can you find another picture of Zach?
That doesn't look like it. That's like a toy of it
Yeah, that's a
It's the General Lee
It was the right color but there's
not a set color because
they just mixed a bunch of paint together to paint them
because they crashed like 500
of the cars making the show
but
actually the guy who told today's car story on the VinWiki channel
found the original one and restored it.
And Bubba Watson owns that car now.
There was a rumor that Bubba was taking the flag off the roof,
but he hasn't done that.
It's, but those cars, yes, they were very, very collectible.
I think Bubba paid like $150,000
and I think the peak transaction
of a significant screen used
was probably a quarter million dollars and now
you cannot give them away
because of the flags. And even if you
take them off or put an American flag on the top,
people still know.
Yeah, because then it's not like it's from the show.
I know your car used to be racist.
You know what?
A good workaround for that, considering people are retarded about flags.
Just throw a Union Jack up there.
Do the next one.
He did a General Grant version.
Yes.
I don't like that.
I love it so much.
Well, that flag looks terrible because it wasn't even the right proportions.
You know, your heritage is losing and mine is winning.
When the Duke boys hear of this.
I hear that more as we got to pick a side when we saw who was winning.
Oh, Zach, can you show Oklahoma?
I found something interesting about that.
I always wondered why Oklahoma was shaped like it was.
Can you pull up a like.
Do you have an answer for that panhandle thing i do i do so as
new states joined america if they were higher than a certain parallel then they weren't a lot
then they couldn't be slave states anymore so oh fuck it's a picture without texas but if you
could picture texas where there's like a word oklahoma is the reason that it didn't go higher is because they wouldn't be allowed to have slaves
anymore so they just they just why don't they go further west with that little little dick they got
they probably wanted to and then other states like whoever's to the west of that was like no
new mexico wouldn't have it what is oklahoma like are they the like of that was like, no. New Mexico wouldn't have it. What is Oklahoma?
Are they the come here state?
Everybody's like, come on.
They're the Sooner State?
I think that's just their sports team.
The whole thing is called the Sooners.
Am I the only one who doesn't know what the fuck that means?
I know that they're like,
go Sooners!
I'm excited about it.
Draw a Sooner for me real quick
though. I couldn't. I don't know what it is.
Exactly. That's my point.
What is a
Sooner?
A fan from Oklahoma!
You son of a bitch.
Sooners is the name given to settlers
who entered the unassigned
lands in what is now the state of Oklahoma
before the official start of the land rush
of 1889. So Sooner just means...
They got there too soon. They didn't wait until it was a state.
I think they got the land while it was free or something.
Yeah, it was probably some homesteading thing.
So a Sooner is an Oklahoma pilgrim pioneer, I should say?
That's what it appears to be.
My understanding of history comes from a Tom Cruise movie
where he rode a horse across the field to get his favorite plot of land.
Don't forget that Nicolas Cage movie where he saved the country
and got the Declaration of Independence.
That taught me in volume.
National treasure.
Dude, that's one of my favorite parts of history.
That's the best fucking biography I've ever seen.
And the compelling performance Nick Cage gives.
The Masons.
The free Masons.
The Stonecutters Club.
This country owes more to Nick Cage
than perhaps any other individual
based on the films that I've seen.
Which means we owe it to Bernie Madoff for making him broke enough to take
every possible movie he could get.
Also maybe Turkey or whoever he like bought that Tyrannosaurus Rex skull
from that he had to return and not get his money back.
It was like $25 million or something.
No,
maybe it might've been,
you'd have to Google it.
I heard two different figures and one of them was like absurd,
but he bought a Tyrannosaurus
Rex skull at auction
and then maybe the country
of Turkey or somebody like that came back at him
and was like, actually,
that wasn't their T-Rex head
to sell. That's our T-Rex head.
And Nicolas Cage,
cool guy that he is, was just like, yeah, okay.
Take it back then.
He didn't get his money back? No, because he lost out
his quarter million dollars. He probably had to do a really
stupid movie to get that money back. He just has got his head above water.
Over six million in property taxes and federal taxes he had to pay
back. That's why he's been doing these movies like crazy the last few years.
Yeah.
I'm really still upset about it because he made me watch
Mandy. Mandy was a good movie.
Mandy's fucking excellent. That's a gem.
I recommend it to everyone.
I watched it not too long ago.
Do people hold a grudge for your recommendation
like I do?
Have you seen Mandy, Ed?
No.
It's a very weird, esoteric feeling Nick Cage movie.
And Kyle and I liked it very much.
It's like an acid trip.
Acid is both present in the material of the movie.
Part of it is about this crazy Christian acid cult.
But it's also like you feel like you're on acid a little bit
while you're watching it because the themes sort of
change as Nick Cage does more acid
and the colors
and the sound and everything it's a little bit
like an acid trip in movie form
it's good though
when I watched that movie I hated it so much
I developed this narrative
in my head that Kyle and Taylor
pranked me
like they recommended the movie Suicide Squad.
Like, Woody, you're going to love it.
Suicide Squad is the best.
There's this really cool alligator character.
Wait till he comes on.
It's cool.
It's great.
Watch it to the end.
To the end.
I couldn't get enough of it.
After the credits, too.
I'm thinking about it.
And I'm watching this.
I'm like, those guys are jerks.
I know this movie's bad.
And then you came on the show that week, or maybe it was even before.
Kyle and I were like, huh?
And you're like, you guys fucking sent me on a goose chase.
We were recommending our friend a movie we liked,
and you were sitting there fuming at us.
Pull up the Rotten Tomatoes for that thing.
I bet it's super high i don't
even i don't know what it is i've never looked but like i love it i love it so much i've only
seen it once too but i've seen it five times it's fucking great so the tomato meter is really high
90 the audience score is 67 which isn't terrible but it's not it's a mismatch there yeah yeah i
see that yeah that makes a lot
of sense to me too because i think if you don't have any idea if you're going in blind you could
be you'd be so confused like after a while like if you if you've never seen anything like that
before like if you're expecting like national treasure oh yeah yeah I think, I think maybe you, after the first person got burnt alive in a sack,
you'd be thrown off.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I mean,
it's a,
it's a good movie with the Nick cage,
like dinosaur skull thing.
Anytime I hear about like rich celebrity purchases with stuff like that,
I'm always like,
is this like that art money laundering thing again,
where rich people are like,
Oh,
well,
I bought this for a friend of mine appraised where rich people are like oh well uh i bought
this for a friend of mine appraised this for three million dollars and then i bought it for
three million i bought or i bought it for 10 grand for the artist and then a friend of mine
an appraiser said it's worth three million and so i donated it to this public uh building and i get
to take three million dollars off my tag or whatever i feel like this is a roundabout way
of saying my hunter biden ink blow straw blowing paintings aren't
worth what I think they are.
That's a genius.
His paintings suck.
I actually got
an NFT of one of his paintings.
That would be so funny.
That's the new form version of
bragging about your dinosaur head is the
Paul Brothers bragging about how
much they bought a cyberpunk.
So whatever,
how many apes and zombies you own now.
That's it.
Yeah.
That's really how,
you know,
a celebrity is doing well.
Yeah.
That did one of the,
one of the Paul brothers offered a Kanye and Pete Davidson,
like $30 million each.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I was going to ask Zach to pull that very picture up. I found it. Pete Davidson like 30 million dollars each to fight I'm sorry
I was going to ask Zach to pull that very picture
up I found it too
can we go back to Hunter Biden blowing his
painting
you know he discovered this
while doing cocaine
that is I think he's using his crack
pipe is that recent
yeah yeah yeah so here's the
that's so bad into the um conspiracy
which i kind of do um this guy needs money hunter biden and he has made these ink blowing drawings
right so you put ink on there you blow them with a straw and you get something like you're looking
at on the screen and then people are buying them for hundreds of thousands maybe millions of dollars and it's like this is elementary school art stuff it actually
isn't that bad to me like i don't think i could do it quite as well the top right looks kind of
neat it looks like seven-year-old you know you know they look like petri dishes i'm gonna say
he's an above average ink blower.
You know how you can tell this is bullshit?
Real artists don't have a assembly line of bullshit. Look, he's got his one he finished three minutes ago on the left
and the one he's halfway through on the right.
Just pumping out trash.
And he's selling it for...
Olivia can buy it.
Zach says his kids can do it.
He's selling it for a notable amount of money,
pocketing that, and you might
guess the people buying it
want favors for the Biden administration.
So that's the twist on it.
Well, I think that that is
reaching, personally. I just think that...
I'm sorry.
I mean...
Political families using their connections for personal gain.
I don't buy it.
Hang on.
I can't believe Hunter Biden is the first presidential child to do.
I really don't think he is.
There's 75 to 500,000.
So like,
like,
all right.
So that's,
that's,
that's pretty wild that if they're half a million dollars but but my first thought process was like i just can't
imagine this scenario where like this literal crackhead calls up his father and the president
and says hey daddy um that guy from iran we talked about he bought he bought the the bubbles and uh yeah yeah yeah yeah 400 000 um i gave i gave him
i gave him your snapchat is that cool all right cool he'll hit you up soon yeah yeah yeah no no
he's his username allahu akbar 6969420 yeah yeah he's gonna hit you up now like does that go down there's no way that goes down i refuse
to believe that goes not on snapchat yeah i don't believe joe biden's on snapchat
joe biden's on myspace
oh that's my friend can i just say the flower pot one looks looks cool to me the one with like
like because i don't know if it's supposed to be that,
but like it looks to me like a vase full of flowers, the blue.
I like the one by his legs.
I like that one.
Dude, this shit fucking sucks.
You're so wrong.
This shit is so bad.
I want the one by his legs.
I like that one.
Now that I realize the one in the top right is a human figure,
I'm a little more impressed.
In a landscape with the sun, okay.
This is three out of ten art, Taylor.
Show some respect.
Dude, this is better than I could do.
This is six or seven out of ten art as far as abstract art goes.
You know why I don't love it?
Because there's no depth to it.
When I look at an actual oil painting and you can see the
brush strokes and the thickness and what
they've done, especially if it's an ocean
or something, there's a little
3D aspect to it. With
ink, it just soaks in.
Look how lazy he got with
those mountains in that right one.
No texture there?
Were you too busy?
Oh, this cracks me up... I like the mountains.
That was done with a genuine Donald Trump
sharpie. I mean, 50 years
from now, that's going to be in somebody's
foyer and they're going to...
Why do you have this
painting? And they're going to say, well,
the son of a sitting president
was so broke from drug
abuse that he had to sell them
on Instagram. And yes, that's how I came to own it. sitting president was so broke from drug abuse that he had to sell them on instagram and yes
that's how i came to own it i mean that's an amazing story i that i think that's an amazing
story i what happened to all those payoffs from the chinese
they went to the paintings now they went to the big guy thank you you stepped right into it
oh no you got me
trapped. Check me!
During the 2016 election. We will just give him the money.
They don't have to give us these shitty paintings.
They know we have
an under-the-table deal, right?
Stop giving me this bubble-blowing bullshit.
Bullshit.
I don't want to say anything.
I think his son might be retarded.
I'm dumping your trash here.
During the 2016 election,
there was a broker in New York
that was selling a Lamborghini Diablo
that had previously been owned by Donald Trump.
And Trump's owned 20 Lamborghinis.
But a guy called me for a quote on it.
Cause it was,
they were selling it for probably a hundred thousand more than the car would
have been worth.
And he asked me what I thought of it.
I said,
well,
right now you're selling a Lamborghini that's owned by a presidential
candidate,
which it's not the only time that's happened,
but who knows a few months from now,
it could be a Lamborghini that was owned by a president of the United States.
And they laughed me out of the room.
And I was like, I mean, it's possible.
He's still on the ballot.
And I mean, now the thing would be worth 10 times what it was for that reason.
But yeah, there was a picture of Trump in it, like putting gas in it on Palm Beach Island or something. And
I mean, he drove him around. But it's the same thing. Like, it's a strange thing to
be tied to a president that is certainly going to be a conversation piece for somebody later.
A two-time president, for sure.
There you go. There you go.
Wow.
Two-time president?
Well, one of them could be, I guess.
Who was the other one?
Who's the president that did it twice?
Garfield?
Well, lots of them.
Grover Cleveland comes to mind.
You mean with a gap in between?
The one that left and came back, right?
With a gap in between.
Cleveland?
Was it Grover Cleveland?
Zach says Cleveland.
Oh, come on.
That's a little bit of trivia.
He can add himself to great names like Cleveland.
What did Cleveland do? He discovered the Cleveland, Ohio. he can add himself to great names like cleveland what did cleveland do
he discovered the cleveland ohio that's significant yeah yeah he was hold on just
off the top of your head nobody look it up we have to guess what year cleveland was president
shit are you serious i know i'm not gonna get it right either. We're going to look retarded. I'm going to say his presidency
covered
1927.
1840.
Well, that's wrong.
I'm right.
I'm going to say
1890.
1890.
Oh!
Oh my god! You got it wrong, Taylor.
I missed it!
Taylor doesn't know shit about history.
What the fuck, bro?
Man, that's a tough loss.
That's not going over, bitch.
No, you do not win with 1840 on that.
Yes, I do.
What?
It was 1927.
I was one year off
and two years off.
You were in the middle
of those two, right?
That's, that's...
I mind swept
that competition.
I got as close as possible
without getting on there.
Did you guys...
What were the major accomplishments
just, you know,
besides discovering
Cleveland, Ohio?
Okay, what was happening? What was happening in the 1890s?
Well, we'd gotten way past slavery by then, so everyone was equal.
The cotton gin was around.
It had been like 25 years post-slavery, so everything was all good.
But cotton gin had long been there, because slavery had already been gone for 25 years.
Equal rights and everything everything what else was going on
Spanish-American war was that that was late 1890s right what was going on in Europe I think that's the more important question I think you I think you know more about like specifically France
during the 1890s like that's I I know that period every military was
very into the spiked hat.
The spiked helmet.
Spiked helmets were huge up through
World War I.
See what you do? You take it off and
that spite, you stick it in the ground
and now you had a vessel to shave in
to do whatever. You had a little
bowl to sit there.
I thought that was for a headbutt.
I thought that's where you're going with it.
Nah, nobody headbutts anymore.
You know the scene in Peacekeeper
where the woman is flying headbutts?
That's my interpretation of the spiked helmet.
Yeah, it was a superhero movie.
See, what you've done there is you've confused
a real-life historical event again
with a DC superhero.
I do that, yeah.
Right, like National Treasure.
That's a historical event.
I saw Mobius today. Morbius, right?
It could be.
Wait, who is Morbius?
It's another superhero.
It's another superhero.
It's a superhero origin story
that I had never heard of.
They say it's Mobius. I got it right.
I was asking. I didn't know.
Did he offer you a red or blue pill?
That's a different guy.
That's a much better film.
He's in the Spider-Man universe.
I had never heard of this guy, but I walked
into it thinking I had never heard of any of the
Guardians of the Galaxy, and I kind of dig them now.
So let's see what's up. This is a new
Marvel character they're trying to introduce
me to. Cool. There's a guy guy we meet him when he's super young he and his best friend have
a rare genetic disease that like fucks up their blood so they have to get their oil changed every
three three times a day i think and um no it's like a machine that takes their blood out
uncoagulates it and puts it back time for
dialysis take your pants off so here's what he figures out that uh vampire bats because they
drink blood that's how they get their food according to the movie they have an anti-coagulant
ability so he's gonna take some vampire bat dna mix it with his own and cure himself well
oopsie daisy he didn't anticipate super strength flying uh being able to turn into a cloud of smoke
classic bat traits yeah at first there was some like batty things like he got fangs and then i'm
like well wait a minute like what i don't understand how he's turning into a cloud of smoke but okay like did he literally like gain magical powers through science yes
yes it's a superhero movie and um i mean they usually stick to a radioactive spider they're
like all right is this is this like moon knight right egyptian god magic and thor like
norse god magic iron man money you're right yeah i can't explain the the ethereal part of it like
how he seems to like he can i thought because it was a bat he'd learn to fly but i thought he'd
take the form of a bat i didn't think he'd take the form of a smoking man. A man bat? Is he a man bat?
Well, he looks like a vampire. He's a very vampire-ish type dude. Does he have wings?
No.
He doesn't get wings. That's what I was expecting.
That he would take some sort of bat-like form to fly.
But instead, he
gets a little smoky and
flies around. Dude, this sounds awful.
It was a
6 out of 10 movie. It was good that's the woody scale
folks i do my best uh you know what it was missing i'm just saying that might be a three out of ten
that sounded right like you could get down with a smoky man i i that's not for me though my issue
with it was a weird one like it it lacked the sort of fun that I see in so many superhero movies and enjoy.
So, Kyle, we're in a knife fight, right?
Slash and boom.
We're going for whatever.
And then I come right at your head and you move it.
And then you look at me and you give me this, hey, that could have hurt me look.
We've been in a knife fight for 40 seconds now.
And there's a, hey, were you serious about that one?
Sort of comic relief observation that happens all the time, right?
I stand right next to it.
The knife sticks into the wall right next to where my head was.
And there's like, oh, that could have been a big deal.
They do these reactions, this little comedy, these little snarky remarks.
And they make the movie good to me.
This lacked that entirely.
It was just a...
Took itself very seriously?
They just told the story and didn't really
dance around it. They didn't really
have any flair. They just
walked from beginning to end.
I've heard it's one of the worst superhero movies that's ever
been made.
That actually
made me want to see it and increase my
curiosity around it.
Rotten Tomatoes.
It's more popular than,
than that made it out to be like,
I saw on Reddit,
like Jared Leto,
Leto,
Leto was one of the,
like he was in like the worst Batman.
Now he's in the worst Marvel movie.
And I was like,
all right,
you've got to be curious.
I want to see how bad it is.
Not as bad as it 70% audience score on Rotten Tomatoes. So beats Mandy. Some would say, yeah, but, but, but like, all right, you've got to be curious. I want to see how bad it is. Not as bad as it. 70% audience score on Rotten Tomatoes.
Beats Mandy, some would say.
Yeah, but
you've got to look at who that audience is
comprised of. Geniuses.
Lots of children.
The Marvel Cinematic
Universe could
shit on a plate and it would get
50%. So that's the
trick. Now here's the thing this is why it
interests me it appears that son oh he's in the spider-man universe by the way this is mobius
that sony wants to have a universe so they're kind of like getting the spidey characters that
marvel didn't buy from them and trying to sort of whip up interest in their own universe.
Yeah.
And it didn't work to me.
It's another DC,
like it's better than nothing, but it's hard to dethrone Marvel.
See,
I don't like better than nothing.
I don't think it,
it doesn't really exist for me.
Like,
I hope this fails badly to prevent other projects like it.
You know,
I really do. I'm not going to give it a shot. You're not, other projects like it. I really do.
You're not going to give it a shot?
It looks like shit. No, as soon as I saw the character,
it looked like shit.
I'm watching Moon Knight right now just waiting
on it to be awful because I know it's going to be awful.
Moon Knight's just okay.
Who is that? It's the new Marvel
TV show.
He's the guy with the split like oh he's the the guy with the split
personalities and he's got like egyptian god powers i don't know i've watched episode one
and it was just okay uh cgi is wonky and i don't think i give a shit if this guy lives or dies so
i mean i'll watch but i don't care about it it's not any good i'll watch but i'll do so with
i'll tell you what i'll tell you what i care about it as much as I care about season four of MasterChef, right?
They let a blind girl win a cooking competition somehow,
and it's such bullshit.
I'm not anti-blind here,
but they were seeing competitors who were actually talented chefs,
and they got kicked out.
Yeah.
I am anti-blind, and it's bullshit.
When they get down to it down i know you he outed
helen keller um yeah when it got down to four people remaining they do this thing where all
right it gets down to four people remaining and so they pair off into teams of two and whichever
one has the best dish they're safe that night the team that has the worser dishes that lose
that competition they now have to face off against each other
and one of them leaves the show
and it's like right away
they let the blind chick choose
her teammate because that's because she
how?
by name
and she picks the best cook
on the show obviously Becky
and so Becky
has to plate for six people.
It's not just the host of the chef.
It's also three famous chefs, world famous.
So she has to cook and serve for six people.
Meanwhile, the other team has two people.
She gets completely fucked over and she loses the show.
Seems like Becky should win.
That's what I was thinking.
They should have been like, wait, you're missing two things off the plate.
She's like, well, I was working with a blind girl.
That's what she should have said.
Actually, the camera trickery that they're using and the editing skills
to make it seem like a blind girl is still in this competition 10 weeks in
are what really meant that you didn't get your rice cake, sir.
That's why I get your rice cake sir that's why
you get your rice cake sir we were trying to magic a blind girl into winning such nonsense
all they showed her cut they showed her cut things twice in the whole show i watched the entire
season of this shit she went and and she's got a helper all the time and the helper's like that's
good and it's like you're cutting a piece of fish with a razor sharp knife there's no way she's cutting all that shit the time i actually saw like what
she really does was when they did the thing where like all right you four are gonna run a a kitchen
yeah and you know like for a restaurant and like like team one has four people running a side of
the kitchen and team two is running the other side of the kitchen and they're competing against each other or whatever and i'm like so what is the blind chick doing in a
professional kitchen where you see people moving fast boiling water and stuff she's standing there
picking like cilantro leaves off the stems she's the team leader by the way dropping them onto the
ground she's filling up she's she's been filling that bowl which happens to be the trash can for three
fucking hours they asked one of the co-hosts like this guy joe who's like the meaner gordon
ramsey like where do you think she she fits into the kitchen he's like in the coat room
i mean it sounds like joe's right and i was thinking like how's she ever gonna get my coat
back to me she doesn't know who i am or what I was wearing. She has no fucking clue. She's blind.
So she's picking the stuff part. She's the team leader, which means she's the one who's supposed
to be like, ah, more salt in that. Hey, get back over there. You need to be making more salmon
patties. But she's fucking blind. So her helper has to be like, she's not stirring that. And then
the blind girl goes, stir more and it's like there's
no way this is how y'all ran a fucking kitchen for three hours oh yeah there's no when you're
when you're like when your ability to know when something is done is to like just catch it when
it starts burning and smoke fills the air i was i'm like how would i use a blind person right if
i had if i'm cooking oh so many ways i would I would just make her my KitchenAid mixer.
That would be her job.
I have a KitchenAid mixer.
Well, we also have a blind person.
We're trying to find a job for her.
She's also a little Asian girl.
Woody's a job creator.
No elbow grease, Woody.
No elbow grease.
Little Asian girl.
All right?
Does she win the whole thing?
She won the whole fucking thing.
In episode three, they made apple pies, and she was crying because she thought her apple
pie was ugly.
Gordon Ramsay's like, how do you think your pie looks?
And she's like, probably like trash.
She's crying.
And he's like, and for the first time, the camera cuts the pie.
The audience sees it for the first time.
It's beautiful.
And he's like, it's beautiful.
And he starts just really pumping her up.
And she's crying.
And I'm fucking crying watching this nonsense.
But then like 10 episodes
in i'm like i've seen too many good seeing women get cast aside so this blind bitch can win this
fucking quarter million dollars at the end you get a cookbook what do you do put it in braille
you were pro blindy i finished i didn't know they're gonna let her win i was this is pronouns you were so
lame over you're a flip-flopper i didn't know they were just gonna let her win they just let
her win you couldn't see the reveal had been that she's not blind and that was strategy the whole
time i'm glad you brought that up that's my closing argument i'm 45 sure this bitch is not
blind because because there's multiple here's the they have
an audition at the beginning it's like everyone who won the regional events gets brought to la
like 40 or 50 of them show us that blind bitch is that what you're doing yeah look at her what's
you looking at honey what are you looking at i mean she's getting it no she's she's oh that's
chicken or something i thought she had her hand in a bowl of milk i thought she was measuring the
depth of the she's got her hand there so she knows when she's got enough that's
what she's doing she's very blind i feel bad for her for being blind but that's not fair to have
her win if she can't even cut stuff they she can cut stuff she'll be like where's my you said and
she'll fumble around for it and then she's got it it's great you said it was slowly though like
the whole thing of these competitions is like g at them like, Why are you fucking stupid?
Get done!
Not this one.
Not this one so much.
But in the very first episode, the audition episode,
she's got that unfortunate thing that blind people get
where their eyes are all wonky,
and one's looking left and one's looking right, right?
And if the camera is positioned just right,
you can really make that worse.
They did that.
They gave her fucking hammerhead eyes.
And she was like,
What's that fucking that uh that that Pixar cartoon where there's that one weasel with the eyes on the side?
She went full Sid the sloth on with the way they like by the end
Wonky I'd there by the
Don't make fun of her she's alright alright make fun of her because she's blind but not because
she's asian you're this close crossing the line you're this close you called it i call that the
shanghai line there and i won't allow you to cross that is that's really unfair that they let her win
i'm sure she's a great chef but it kind of
can you imagine like every single runner-up knew why they didn't win and but they can all they can
all like rationalize it like oh yeah i was in the season where the blind lady won obviously i was a
better chef like no like if gordon is making a business decision. Usually on these shows, the winning prize, at least on Hell's Kitchen or whatever it is,
is they get a job at one of Gordon's restaurants.
Like a full-time job.
He would not hire a blind woman to work at his restaurant.
In this one, the prize is a quarter million dollars.
And you get a cookbook that they then promote with the whole next season of the show.
And you come on an episode of the next season,
cook a dish,
and then the contestants have to do one of your dishes
from your cookbook.
So you get multiple episodes of a big TV show
devoted to pushing your book.
She now owns a restaurant in Texas.
So she has to write a book she can't read?
She wrote a book she couldn't read, yeah.
I love the idea that she gets hired
at a Gordonordon ramsay
restaurant and she works there for two and a half weeks without knowing it's a wendy's
why do we fry so much here
shut up adam just say yes chef
so are they gonna is she gonna come back and host a challenge where everybody has to cook
blindfolded next year i mean that oh that would be absolutely obvious right oh here's the best
part it's like you're all going to do a challenge in my world and gordon turns her to face the
contestants so like so like one of the things i i learned real quickly when i started like trying
to cook a little bit was like a real chef's knife like that.
You keep sharp is super dangerous and we forget.
You don't realize how much you would cut yourself if you don't.
When you start using a good knife, you cut yourself against what I'm getting at.
They do this thing in the audition where they've narrowed it down to like 50, 60 people.
There's still a crowd of assholes and they line them up with like apples and they're like peel and slice those apples as uniformly as you
can i want perfect half slices of apples no more and no less than one eighth inch thick as many as
you can do and they're like all right where's the peelers the knives are right there no peelers so
so now you've got 60 people as fast as they can peeling and slicing apples with razor sharp
sponsored kitchenware and they're constantly going medic some of them have so many bandages
on their hands that they're just bad they put the bandages on and then they put gloves over
the bandages so they look like balloon animal hands that they're like slicing with at this
point because they've cut every fucking finger some some of these dopes. Meanwhile, Gordon's
walking around like, fail,
fail, not even letting them finish.
These bloody apples. He always
makes sure. It's always something
different. It's not always apples. It could be carrots or potatoes
or whatever the fuck. He gets down to
two of them left. One
of you gets to fight for a quarter million.
The other's going home fucking today.
You just got to Los Angeles. We haven't even gotten to the cool studio yet whoever whoever
i think is the better apple slicer and they're two hours in to slide there's a pile of fucking
these people are looking pale from blood loss and like one poor asshole
leaves like an apple stem in
and he's like get the fuck out of here
and like Susie you're going to Hollywood
which are you blind
and they continuously do that old bit
where he's like
Tommy take your apron off
and put it back on
extra tight because you're staying.
That's so stupid.
Oh, I love the Gordon fake outs.
I hate it.
It's so cliche at this point.
It's so lame.
And yeah.
All right.
So here's my best.
Sometimes it gets you.
My best and final observation from watching MasterChef.
They had a season where they've got.
It's all white people and Asian
people. One black guy. He's seven feet
tall. Really talented chef. They end up
coming in second place in that season. Seven foot tall guy.
This is the blind chick season.
He gets voted
off though. Now there's
only six remaining.
But then at the beginning of the next
episode, now there's only six remaining.
And now it's time for the celebrity chef.
Coincidentally, look who it is.
It's Paula Deen.
Oh, that's crazy.
They kicked the black guy off,
and now here's Paula Deen
cooking some shrimp and grits for y'all
with smiling with her big fake teeth and everything.
I appreciate that favor he did for my last episode.
Right?
That's what I thought.
I was like, that's funny.
I wouldn't have been surprised
if the black guy was like, I will not be on TV with Paula Deen. I know what she said, I was like, that's funny. I wouldn't have been surprised if the black guy was like,
I will not be on TV with Paula Deen.
I know what she said.
Because this is around that time.
That wouldn't surprise me.
The next episode, after Paula Deen's gone, Gordon says,
I've got an idea.
We're going to have a competition with everyone who's been kicked off the show.
One of them's coming back.
They bring the black guy back the next episode.
He's on the show, off the show for a single episode.
Paula Deen comes in and then right back in.
They did a workaround.
I guarantee that's what happened.
It's too perfect for it not to be true
and it's too funny for it not to be true.
Now that is funny, but Gordon has done the you're out
but bring him back in before.
It fits too well.
Maybe. It is funnier to believe it's not everything's a psyop kyle it's like paul adine it's like paul adine
no i'm fine with the blind girl you master master chef over on google it's a fucking ball i didn't
watch uh anything else this week i don't think i didn't i didn't catch up on ball. I didn't watch anything else this week. I don't think I didn't, I didn't catch up on halo.
Um,
I didn't watch anything else.
I don't think I've just been watching Gordon Ramsey.
Oh,
and I've been watching star Trek,
the next generation again,
but on paramount plus where it's in crystal clear,
high definition.
Oh my God.
You've never seen so many bad makeup jobs.
Like,
like,
like,
like there's so many times where like,
where they like mix,
like the makeup of like the fish man there's so many times where like where they like mix like the
makeup of like the fish man in with like his regular face you can like see the line where
it's all glued on and stuff you can see screws in the set like where like the panels are screwed in
um you can see like a bit of schmutz like on the bottom of picard's chair and like where like
people kick the walls and stuff and left scuff marks. But best of all, you can see the deepest, most
vivid camel toe you've ever seen
on a primetime television show.
It's incredible. It's incredible.
Between Mariana
Sirtis, who plays Deanna Troi, she's got some nice
camel toes. I knew it'd be her. I had no doubt.
But
the camel toe
empress, as it were,
is Worf's baby mama.
I can't think of her name right now, but it's the Klingon chick.
No, no, no, no.
They had a kid together.
Alexander's a kid.
This is TNG, not Deep Space Nine.
But she shows up, and she's in this tight-ass Klingon lady sweatpants,
and she's got a real deep one, just a real moose knuckle going on.
It's vivid.
It's cool. It's cool. Yeah. I'm enjoying that. Yeah.
Have a romance or something. They, uh, they were married. Uh, yeah.
So one of the co-presenters from car track named it after star Trek,
obviously,
obviously and there is a full set recreation of like most of the enterprise and everything else down in near savannah georgia
and so it's always been his dream to go and film something there and they are adamant that it was
not created for pornographic purposes but obviously and it uh we shot scenes there of
you know they have outfits and everything it It's surreal to understand people work here.
This is their thing.
They do.
Yeah.
Yeah, that's really cool.
I'm not like a Super Trek nerd.
I just like the shows.
I would never show up at one of those conventions.
I don't think I own a single piece of memorabilia.
I don't have any spa gears or anything.
But I just grew up watching that show with my dad from the time I was like five years old.
I don't know. I've always loved it.
I just despise Star Wars.
My father loves Star Trek, too.
Well, still does.
Which one did he... Probably the original?
No, he liked
TNG. Oh, that's awesome.
Yeah. He liked Deep Space Nine, too.
I wonder how he would feel about if he went back.
There's a few anti-religion episodes.
There's an episode where they get exposed to this Bronze Age culture.
They see Picard, and this guy starts talking about the Picard.
He's like, I saw the Picard.
He lives in the sky, and he fucking brings people back from the dead,
and he flies and shit.
He's the overseer flies and shit he's the
overseer and like picard's like having this meeting like i'm not gonna let these people slip back to
where they were 2 000 years ago this supernatural believing in gods and wizards nonsense like he's
so mad about like the idea of them having a religion it's a very anti-religion episode i
think but it's true like picard has to down, and the dude won't believe him.
And he's like, fucking kill me then.
Kill me.
If that's the only thing that'll make you believe that I'm mortal, shoot me.
And the guy shoots him and kills him.
But, you know, they just sneak him back up and patch him up.
Beam him back to the ship.
Picard taking chances.
People do that.
They're always so, you've never seen examples of, like, I think maybe once you saw it, maybe twice,
where someone came and used their advanced
technology on a primitive race
to pretend like they were a god.
I wanted to see more of that because it seems like
it would be so easy to do. And Picard's
always the first to be like, no, no, no, no, no.
No, no, no, no, no.
Yeah, Picard was a spoilsport with his prime
directive bullshit. Yeah, you could have
easily been like... Captain Kirk would have fucked
with him.
They're trying to make more
Star Trek movies, but I think the problem that's holding them
back is that they want them to
be those gigantic blockbuster
movies, and they just need to be
Star Trek movies. It doesn't need to compete
with Marvel.
But they really seem to want it to be this gigantic, gigantic
thing. I wish they'd just tell a Star Trek story, though. I like the Star
Trek movies, and everybody else hates them. And I get it. I get it. You see
Star Trek, you maybe want something a little less like
the theatric equivalent of Smarties candy, right? But
if you're like, hey, that's what Star Trek is.
Star Trek is space problems
solved with base jumping, motocross, and MMA skills.
This is apparently the skill set you need
to save the world going forward.
The show that I like is so much less boring.
It's a space drama where the problems are solved
with well thought
out negotiations and and like generally and generally reasonable antagonists as well i
watched one last night and and like it's these races who have been at arms for like generations
and one of them's like yells and the other one's like oh yeah well what about this and that and picard's like please gentlemen and the other and the guy's like forgive me for my anger
right i'm like no one has ever said that ever no one's ever been like you know what i got angry
and said something i didn't mean sorry about that literally said that no i like that part i like the
fucking sci-fi of it all but also like the gamesmanship they don't need to even shoot
like there wasn't a lot of shooting in star wars believe it or not like it was mostly like
talking about shooting was goal yeah because something about star wars shooting typically
is like one shot phaser set on stun we put that guy to sleep it's it's it's because the show's
so cheap like and filming action is so expensive right like the shows were
a lot of you know like that's combat like like meanwhile you're like man i'd fuck those star
trek guys up with a shotgun they'd be like and i'd be like boom boom boom boom boom boom boom
like like data's the only one left right why would you have picked a shotgun though anything like why did it make that noise any gun yeah but first of all why did it make that noise
i didn't see you pump the shotgun at all it's a benelli m4 i'm using whatever gun i imagine
it's how many rounds are in your benelli f4 kyle off the top of my head like 10
oh that's what i expected nine round tube i think you do a nine round tube definitely do an
eight i take the whole fuck michael dorn would be the last hold out he played wharf he looks he
still looks like he's a hearty gentleman has he had a career outside of wharf no i wonder if you
would have if you could recognize him. I recognize him personally.
He's best as Worf.
Okay.
They're all coming back for another cash grab next year.
Don't worry.
Picard season three.
Face made for radio.
He has a face made for a lot of makeup.
He's not ugly, but he's just not a notably good-looking guy.
Season three of Picard, I guess, has the whole TNG cast coming back.
Like the whole TNG cast. I refuse to watch any more of that show i stopped at season one brave new worlds is coming out and
it's like a fresh reboot of the original series basically beginning with pike and having kirk in
it and stuff so i'm gonna try that out but i'm done with most of the discovery stuff i had something
i wanted to ask ed and it's about because i know
you're a big negotiator you love negotiating the art of it the art of the deal as they say
as some say are i'm sure you win most of the time are there any instances that jump to mind
where someone like got the better of you and maybe you didn't know at the time or you were
post the fact like god damn it i should have gone for this or i shouldn't have let that fucker take me
that's a great question there were a lot of car deals like that where you you learn that somebody
wasn't really negotiating they were like just posturing to see what you would do and so you
get to the point of like going back and forth and agreeing to a deal and they're like well i was really just testing you to see if after i came in and test drove this car later
in the future if that would somehow like uh that would be that then you would do my deal or work
with me or something like that well i was always also testing you jerk to see if i could trust you
and you failed so don't come i don't ever want to hear from you again but uh oh here's that's it so sorry
my phone was just vibrating against the computer there's a guy from homeland security that just
seized 6 000 cans of a counterfeit energy drink that was being sold as a lamborghini energy drink
and i'm sure i'm not supposed to talk about, but he wants me to destroy them in an entertaining fashion.
And yeah, I don't know why he's calling me at 9 p.m. Eastern.
But yeah, so I got to think of a fun and interesting way
to blow up 6,000, three pallets worth of...
They're aluminum cans?
Yeah.
What size? 12-ounce or like the tall Red Bull cans?
Let's go with the assumption they're 12-ounces.
I mean, they do make those underbarrel grenade launchers
that'll shoot a single can at a time really fucking fast.
But then we'd have to clean up however far they shoot, right?
If we shot 6,000 of them.
No, that's not your problem.
That's right.
Are you going to have it? Are you going to try any?
See if you like the bootleg Lamborghini
energy? Oh, you'd have to try it. Yeah, I'm sure it's
just really white labeled.
I want to hang on to a few cans.
They're about to become very scarce, I think.
What if it makes you feel so good that you don't even
want a Lambo anymore? You're trying to get rid of it.
Yeah, that's why that was
really the issue. What if it's the best fucking soda you've ever had?
Wouldn't that be a problem?
We'd have to take a bunch of stickers
and turn them into some other
name. The FPS Russia
or whatever.
Don't do that.
I don't know how to destroy pallets of soda.
Over time.
In an entertaining way.
The same way Taylor does. Yeah, with stick-to-itiveness. I don't know how to destroy pallets of soda. Over time. Over time.
The same way Taylor does.
Yeah.
I recorded an interview today.
It's probably something like that.
Yeah.
With a guy.
They did this NFT art project.
And the art was pieces of shrapnel from an exploded Lamborghini.
And they blew up a Hurac uh in the desert in nevada and the then they sold 999 nfts of the pieces of it like rotating they put a sticker on
it said like you know 841 and put it on turn to the table or whatever and he talked about the
links they had to go to to make sure that the thing blew up into
that many pieces without catching
so much fire that it burnt.
Yes, that is it.
I didn't think it really
threw.
It worked, I guess.
They ended up
getting a whole lot of people on the internet hating them.
They blew up a $200,000 car and they got $2 million in NFT. on the internet hating them and so uh yeah uh but they raised you know they bought a two they blew
up a two million dollar car two hundred thousand dollar car and they got two million dollars in nft
sales so it made some money jesus christ i mean it's not it's not stupid if it works i guess not
i guess not i have a question for you guys so you did you all start out as video game streamers
before streaming so we made YouTube videos.
Okay, so you made, and then you pivoted the YouTube channel towards
a podcasting thing and just stopped playing video games in the background?
Kind of. I think that our interest in the game we were most popular as,
Call of Duty, faded as everyone else's interest in Call of Duty faded.
And it just sort of transitioned.
Did you call that on target
kyle yeah but but but like you know we we started the podcast you know um after we started doing
gaming stuff but it was always kind of its own separate thing while we did other stuff even on
youtube you know like what he went and did a bunch of uh he ran a minecraft server did a lot of
minecraft stuff for a long time and i did the fps Russia stuff. Taylor had a career in the real world.
That was awful.
Taylor was a grown-up.
It wasn't like a
marketplace pivot. It was just a personal
interest evolution.
No, we didn't
make any money here for the first
five years or something like that. It was just for fun.
It's always been for fun. It was just for fun. It's always kind of been for fun.
It still is really fun. Yeah.
Good. That's fantastic. I was just curious if as you know, right now there's all this push towards like shorts content and reels and,
you know, a different form of, you know, content creation.
And I was curious if there was any thought towards changing the model.
I hate those youtube shorts
you can't seek through the video you have to watch the whole thing again it's like they took the
worst parts of instagram which i don't even use instagram because like i made an account years
ago like i think i followed like juji mufu or someone and it was like oh he did a video of him
bench pressing a thousand pounds and then you like watch it and it's like, oh, I have to hear him talk for 40 seconds
and then I can see the two-second clip again.
And I'm not using this.
And YouTube's ripping that off.
And now you go to your favorite content creator's channels and it's like,
oh, are there any new videos?
Oh, no, there's 17 five-second clips.
Okay, well, this must be the new model of monetization.
Hey, quick guide on how to do a chest press
this is how which that would actually be better i like them sometimes i sometimes i wish the
channels would do more shorts uh i watch formula one a lot i'm not an expert i'm kind of a new fan
i'm one of those drive to survive guys but um I've been watching it and I'm coming up to speed and Lewis Hamilton will
like say a thing,
you know,
like I think our car will be faster if we can get it to stop porpoising.
Okay,
cool.
There's an eight minute video.
Lewis Hamilton reveals his thoughts on current car and then race car sounds
after the break.
And then they go on to something else and then they give a background on who lewis
hamilton is and then they give a background on how the car is doing they give a background on
how the the rules have changed for the cars this year and then in the end you get what should have
been the 20 seconds worth of update on you know what he thinks of the current car in an eight
minute long video i'm sure it is hard to find the meat of this video. You'd think
my expertise of having watched enough of
these, I go about 60% and you'll find
it, but it doesn't work reliably.
And if it was a short,
that's where it belongs.
Like Taylor said,
the
player's garbage.
The Instagram player, I don't
understand why Instagram sometimes lets you scroll and sometimes doesn't.
But I want to be able to pause.
I watch a lot.
My Instagram is just acrobatic paragliding videos.
And there will be like a certain transition that I want to see again and again and again because I aspire to be as good as the person I'm watching.
And you can't do that on Instagram.
I want to watch these four seconds repeatedly,
see what he did there.
And YouTube would do it, but Instagram won't.
Yeah, it's a strange push because it's,
you see a lot of inflated view counts,
but they don't really correlate to actually revenue
because there's very few ads played.
And so I was just curious if that had been the rationale
for moving towards podcasting when you did
and if that was, you know, priming any other opportunities.
I would say all of us have been terrible businessmen around PKA.
We have like almost no merch to sell aside from our cum pills.
We don't do shorts.
We have these very profitable highlight channels
that we don't make any money off of because they're not run by us.
People just take our content, upload clips, and that.
Now, I feel like indirectly it's made the show more popular.
Our numbers have improved, et cetera.
The fact that there's an ecosystem of highlight channels, not just one.
I don't even know how many.
But there's all these channels that take what they think are the best parts of the show and upload seven minutes ten minutes of that
and every one of them reliably links to the show that it came from some of them link to the patreon
like they're not enemies of the channel but they are making the money that we're not so you know
it is what it is yeah i was just curious like the kinds of like total views they were getting.
The two biggest ones, PKA clips and PKA highlights.
One of them has like 95 million views on the channel.
The other one has 75 million views on the channel.
And that's just clips of us being retarded, basically.
I keep YouTube pushing old PKA clips to me.
You'd think they'd be old PKA clips, but they weren't.
They were like from the Harley episode just last week.
So I don't know.
There's a bunch that we've nailed three that are getting views right now.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I think it's definitely great for the show because people don't like if you're not familiar with us, you're not going to sit and watch a four hour listen or listen to a four hour program but if they're like oh this idiot spent 40 minutes ranting about helen keller that's you know that
that's a more palatable well i guess it's not palatable either but everyone loves that a little
helen keller hate dude you go to that that video's got like half a million views now i checked on it
the other day and there was a bigger version of it that got taken down i think what's the most viewed video on your channel
is it bigger than that uh no no on my channel i have one with a couple million views i just
totally i just recorded a fucking like trailer for uh the dawn of the dead zombie game in like
2011 and just re-uploaded that immediately as soon
as it dropped and it got caught as like the trailer video but yeah we used to live stream
this show on YouTube and YouTube rewarded interactions at the time careless sure right
so likes and comments and because it was live like we'd start like three minutes late and out of the gate, we've got like 17,000 dislikes on this thing.
And then people would comment and I'd be like, all right, audio check, audio check, right?
Like, you know, fuck Kyle.
If, if you can hear me, boom, boom, boom, just stuff.
And people are commenting.
Anyway, this show got so many views.
It wasn't a, like a standout show in terms of how funny it was but it had 42 000 comments
and tens of thousands of likes and it was on the front page of youtube the front page of youtube
mobile like it really went viral i think youtube changed their algorithm to punish people because
our dumbass show uh you know won all the interaction awards in kind of a weird way
like if it wasn't live, people wouldn't comment
as much. Oh, sure. Yeah. Well, and there's different sort of algorithmic paradigms in which
live content is preferred and when it's absolutely disenfranchised. And so I think a lot of it has
to do with their interpretation of the trends of what audience wants. So right now they think
audience wants immediate gratification. And so we're going to,
you know,
try to make people make less than 60 second content and make them use less
than 15 seconds of pirated music.
And it's just weird.
I don't know.
It's,
I like the exact opposite though.
Like you guys are talking about shorts.
I don't know what they are.
I haven't seen one.
You haven't seen a short on YouTube.
I don't know how I would,
you know, I watched. So YouTube will pivot to you. you like it's any other video be a thumbnail on your page
like you're used to seeing and then when you click on it it's a different player and it's under a
minute i i don't know like how i would end up i don't know i watched the news i watched like like
um you know like like uh ukraine shit russia stuff like geopolitical stuff right now especially
political stuff how it's made learned how to make peanut butter crackers yesterday not how i made
them but you know how nabisco makes them bowling balls learned about that that's going to be key
for you know that's a good episode there's more to the bowling ball than you think they're very
layered there's so many different kinds it was fascinating that is such a great show how it's
made i haven't watched that in forever i watch uh so at night i sleep with my tv on and i put it on these uh live streams of
thunderstorms and so youtube thinks that i just love watching that shit it's like hey hey you
really liked rainstorm on a metal roof have you heard super loud booming thunder in thailand there's like there's like youtubers who like go to cool places and record rainstorms in exotic
locales because they sound a little different now to me i just want loud ass rain and thunder yeah
but like some asshole apparently really wanted to be in that hut in Tahiti, so he sleeps there every night.
But it's suggesting it to you at like 1pm on a Saturday. No, in my whole... Kyle, it's storm
time! There's like 30 of them
recommended to me at any time, and I'm going through them
constantly being like, don't recommend, don't recommend.
No, I haven't gotten any shorts. I haven't seen one.
I like long videos, like hour-long videos
a lot of the times. I watch a lot of documentaries and stuff
about, I don't know, anything from
Napoleonic Wars to Rome.
Just lots of historical shit.
I don't even care about this, but I watch more plates, more dates, and the fitness area, weightlifting area of YouTube.
And I see the trends of what's popular where they'll be like, fake natty alert and stuff like see the trends of what's popular where it's like they'll be like fake natty alert and
stuff like that and i like look that up and apparently greg doucette has fallen from the
light of of uh of popularity in the weightlifting powerlifting community a lot of people don't seem
to like him anymore uh but there are like channels with like you know a hundred thousand subs who you go
and it's like it's a fitness channel teaching you to lift in a healthy responsible way and every
video it's like you have to go back three months to find one about like chest presses everything's
like greg doucette scam artist again greg doucette lying to you and it's like if you had one of these videos i might think
was there something tricky about that greg doucette video but the fact that it's your entire
catalog leads me to believe that greg could come to your house and jack you off and you would like
make a video about how his calluses hurt like there's there's no way that's true yeah like
how his calluses hurt like there's there's no way that's true yeah like it's like i've seen greg just said that fucker's got calluses for sure oh yeah can you show a picture of greg you said
it's a man with calluses this is a man with calluses i can tell you i watched like two
20 minute videos about like and look at this this guy's fake natty and not talking about greg
and then like halfway through the second one, I'm like,
I don't care about this.
I don't know.
I,
no,
I read it all the time.
I weeded out the fitness stuff,
uh,
off my YouTube recommendation.
Honestly,
like,
like I got it.
Like,
like,
like y'all come up with a new thing.
Let me know.
Like,
like,
like don't misunderstand me saying I got it.
What I mean is like loud and clear.
I heard you.
I get it. Like, like y'all haven't told me anything new for it. What I mean is loud and clear, I heard you. I get it.
Y'all haven't told me anything new for like a year.
Kyle, find something heavy
and lift it.
Multiple times.
I saw
who is the funny fitness guy?
He's Italian bro
science maybe?
Something like that. I know who you're talking about.
He does gunshots every time he flexes
he once
did like a meta joke
that made me laugh he's like
I have to come up with content
about something that's inherently repetitive
lifting weights
I mean your 87th video
literally should just be like hey remember when I told you
how to lift weights?
Keep it up.
Like, while you're doing it.
Don't stop.
I watch Greg Doucette probably every day.
I watch at least one video.
And a lot of his videos are defending himself, which is a mistake.
Granted, a mistake I've made.
Glass house, I get it but um he's like this guy
said this about me and this guy said this i didn't really say that i didn't mean that he cut me off
he's always defending himself and it's like bro like your audience didn't come here to listen to
you defend yourself you're you're preaching to the choir oftentimes the people who already like you
uh it's it's rarely the move unless he likes it.
And I think he might.
See, I'm not into that.
He might like anything that's interesting.
I'll be your heel.
I'll be your face.
I'll be whatever you want.
Just let me be it.
And he does drama.
He talks about popular Instagram figures, positive and negative.
And he just wants to be seen.
Yeah, it's a space about something that has been figured out.
You know, it would be like if you had a math channel, right?
Unless you like once you make like the root, you know the course just addition you're never going to be like hey guys solve the equation that no one could fit like that's not going to happen often so you're gonna have that you're like every video you just add bigger numbers together as if
it's harder all right guys you handle 47 plus 23 like a champ 200 200 plus 350. Next video, 3,000 plus 40.
I bet when you started out on the Kyle program,
you could only add single digits.
Now you hard-ass
motherfuckers out there dividing
and shit.
When you started on the
Kyle Mathematics for Anyone program.
I got performance enhancing
drugs there too, so everybody's on Adderall
and they're like
there's like a problem in the community of lying
about using a calculator
and then there's the one guy
who
he's a fake Addy
you got a beverage behind you there's a fake Addy. Yeah, he's a fake Addy! That's so good.
You got a beverage behind you.
There's a ninja person
right there.
There you go.
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Someone else called it.
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It's an incredible review.
People call it baffling.
They call it needless but that's
not true it's tremendous i literally have people dming me all the time and like describing their
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Yeah.
We developed it.
Do you want to tell the story or I can zip through it?
Please, Taylor.
Yeah.
So basically, Kyle and I jokingly during an episode a couple years ago talked about the load stacks that we were messing around with for fun.
Because it makes you cum more and cum harder.
And the longer you're cumming, the longer your orgasm is, right?
So you're getting more out of your fuck.
the longer your orgasm is, right?
So you're getting more out of your fuck.
And so Kyle and I started texting back and forth often,
like, hey, Kyle, I just added sunflower lecithin into my formula and I'm busting more than ever.
And Kyle's like, I gotta get some sunflower lecithin.
And so we basically amalgamated a formula with science
and trust the science.
And we did that.
And then we got Derek involved and we worked with him.
We got the proprietary blend down and we had to stand up for our beliefs
multiple times.
Our faith was called into question with some things where Derek was like,
do we need this amount of sunflower?
Let's sit then because it's really,
really,
really hard to do it that way.
And we said,
Derek,
that's how it has to be.
We're going to deliver an inferior product
to our to our fans i don't think so that doesn't jive with taylor and kyle no sir and so we worked
hard and i i will take credit for this i lobbied hard for the cum splatters on the bottle it was
his main contribution derek derek tried to say oh i run a professional business we can't have
cum splatter on the product of the bank. The credit card processors think I can lose my
livelihood.
The credit card processors might not like the cum on the
box.
No.
We split our ground.
Derek puts on a radio
voice for you guys. He's all like,
yeah, guys, so today we're going to talk about this new fake
nutty. But when we're in conversations
like Taylor Alpha's the shit out of
Derek. Oh, yeah yeah i'm so hard
circling back to our other sponsors i'm so hard i'm leaking
that's another thing that will happen ed i know you're excited to try this
we another product or ingredient that we were adamant about adding was pygeum
now what pygeum is going to do you it's going to kick your prostate into overdrive.
Overdrive.
And so, whereas if you were just pre-coming a little bit before, oh, you're going to be leaking.
You're going to be dripping.
It's going to be pornographic.
You'll be getting yourself checked out.
You'll think there's something wrong.
Okay?
You're just going to be leaking pre-cum most of the day i wear
a little diaper
we also sell cock socks yeah
we should sell diapers sell the problem and monetize the solution
like you you really do have like like so much pre-cum like like when you like it's
it's extra lubricant like also it's gonna for those of you pull out artists it's it's a little
dangerous i must say you're living on the edge man just for women no no i know that they're not
just for women they've been keeping mine to wear clean of jism for quite some time now.
All right?
The bottle says to take nine pills a day.
I take 27 pills a day.
He does not.
Okay?
I take nine in the morning, nine at lunch, and nine at night.
And if I wake up at night, I take nine fucking more, goddammit.
When I cum, it's a lethal weapon.
It takes five capsules in the morning, take another four at night.
Do not exceed nine capsules in any 24-hour period.
I blinded a cab driver.
I'm like, what happens if you exceed nine?
Your hair will fall out.
That's the answer because you'd be getting way too much of,
I can't think of the thing right now,
but you'd be getting like three times your daily maximum.
Just take it as directed. take the recommended dosage.
There are vitamins in there that you can't take too much of.
So just take what's in there.
Don't take 27 days.
Believe us.
It was a joke.
We came up with the most powerful formula possible.
So take it as directed and you're going to be busting so much.
And it's not a meme, Ed.
This is a genuine product. If you you like some we will send you the link
um i think they're like 50 a bottle or something yeah we will let you buy it
we need to start sending these out i do that to everybody i don't know why
care package the url i was watching a video uh do you know who larry wheels is
he's like a super super jacked fitness guy okay i got suggested one of his videos and you know
derek's the big supplement guy in the community they all use the gorilla mind for the most part
and gorilla mode and in the beginning of the episode they're like the
fitness guys it's like one of those collabs and they're all jacked and huge and they're like all
right let's dry scoop our pre-workout and then one of the guys pulls out a bottle of lock and load
and is like you guys tried this yet and they're like no and they're like give it to me man and
so they all start taking lock and load before their workouts it doesn't do what you think it does bro
yes it does support those joints all right you mean look there's a lot of health benefits from
lock and load we just focus on the fact that it makes your loads bigger okay like a lot of the
you know i didn't i stumbled upon some of the ingredients because i was taking so many things you know like like my vitamin bill every month is pretty
substantial it's i i don't care to look at what it is like some of the bottles last for three
months they're so big and some of them only last for like 20 or 30 days so it's like it's hard to
calculate like a daily like cost but like man i bet i'm eating
eight dollars worth of vitamins a day or dude those multi-vitamins you got or that derrick
recommended you the thorn whatever yeah that's like 60 bucks a month or something yeah that's
two bucks a day yeah just for the vitamins yeah the multi-vitamins feel considerably better as
like a human being so before you took them? I do like this whole
stack of things.
People ask me that a lot about
any number of the things that I do.
Hey, does this
make you feel great? I feel
great and I take that, but I can't say
for sure if that is the thing that makes me feel
great. I know that the combination
of things that I take make me feel really
good. I always have lots of energy. things that I take make me feel really good.
I always have lots of energy.
I sleep super well.
I'm really fucking strong.
I can crush apples.
These are the tenets that I built my life around, those core tenets.
Apple crushing.
Apple crushing is big.
Look, I'm from the South.
That's how you show people that you're a man.
When you can crush an apple, that's when you can get a but do you do you ever tear apples in half at the supermarket daring an employee to
stop you uh what i do is i i get the shopkeep over and i say boy these apples are rotten and
then i crush a perfectly good apple and then i watch his confused face and then everyone claps
that lunatic who ruins our produce is back don't look him in the
eyes he gets so sordid he gets off on it he's hard every time he walks in that can't be just
pissing his pants oh it's even worse none of those oh my goodness no but but um i don't know i i feel really good and uh you know
like i basically i just take whatever derek tells me to take and he kind of put together a whole
like list of vitamins and he gave me the list of stuff that he takes um and uh so i just take all
that some of it's like heart health and some of it's for like umaments and joints, I'm sure,
and stuff like that.
But I have no idea what I'm taking,
and a lot of the time I just take it because he tells me to.
Well, he does know.
He's pretty knowledgeable on that stuff.
But if you want to come a lot, I can tell you what's in there.
Yeah.
A lot of good ingredients. TKA for 10% off and 10% off any other products you want
if you want his Gorilla Mode Nitric pre-workout high quality.
That's what Kyle and I use. So you can check that
out. I actually have a question.
It's an ask me anything. We have a Patreon
level. I don't know. Is it $10?
I have no idea. Sounds about right.
All right, Ed.
Is it a bad idea
to keep fucking your ex-girlfriend who
cheated on you?
She's hot and it's
easy pussy at this point. A very
recent breakup one week ago and I've already
fucked her once after we broke up.
Should I keep letting her call me daddy
or should I throw this bitch to the streets forever?
Professional opinions, Ed?
You probably get this question all the time.
Well, yeah. So I would first
want to say refer to the 10 times I've answered this previously.
So if you want the more exhaustive answer.
But I think moving on with your life is probably the answer.
False.
All right.
Let me help, buddy.
So what's happened here?
So you gave your definition of what happened.
Your girlfriend cheated on you,
and now you want to know if you should keep fucking her.
No, what happened was the nature of your relationship just changed.
Now you're friends with benefits.
Now you're friends with benefits.
And here's the best part.
You know she doesn't steal,
which is my biggest concern when I hook up with someone like that.
You've got
to watch them like a hawk or they'll steal it's not disease that can't be true it's absolutely
true you don't woody you've been you had a tango with syphilis to when you were getting al capone
palms and you're the you're most scared by and a little penicillin sorted that the fuck out didn't
it yeah kyle's like woody you've been
married you don't understand all this stealing kyle you've been single you haven't paid nearly
as much as i have i i just don't think that it's i think it's been a long time since a strange woman
was wandering around your house naked at night woody as far as you know as far as i know so what
i'm just saying is like that's the scariest part. You gotta keep your eye on them so they don't steal.
But if it's you, if it's this, you used to
date this girl, you can trust her. She won't steal.
Probably. And, uh, no, keep
fucking her. Of course you keep fucking her. Why would
you...
The alternative
to not continue to fuck
this girl is saying,
I'll get her! No more
dick for you, bitch! Ha ha! I win. No more dick for you, bitch.
Ha ha.
I win.
No more.
No more pussy for me.
Shit.
Like, what are you doing?
Somewhere in the middle on this.
So, Kyle, I actually had that same thought.
I like friends with benefits.
I didn't come up with the phrasing like you did, but I was like, oh, she just she she cheated on you.
But what she did is she resigned herself intoigned herself into like i don't know the
fuck buddy zone right is where is what i'm thinking the only trouble is this if this is
gonna hurt your feelings if if if there's just a period you have to endure where like you break up
and move on then you might want to do that rather than existing in this period of pain that exists
for a long time like that so that's the decision I would tell this guy to make.
Hey, are you able
to have a fuck buddy and enjoy this relationship?
How does it make you feel?
Frankly, that's always the most
important thing and the answer to almost
any question you can fucking ask us.
How does that make
you feel if you continue
to fuck her? If the answer is pretty fucking rad
dude or pussy's great then then you have your answer why do you care what i think yeah because
she's down for it too right so yeah it appears that she she wants to keep having sex with lots
of guys i guess yeah um find yourself another girl and now you've got two girls. It's great.
You did that adding.
Yeah.
Day one of my math YouTube.
You like,
you like really over edit the series.
It's called like the road to,
to wisdom or something.
It's a hundred percent a rip off of the count from a Sesame street.
I even do the accent.
It's one.
Ah,
ah, ah,
ah,
ah,
ah,
ah,
ah.
I liked him.
He was one of my favorite characters.
Dude,
score for you.
Um,
now you get all the things you had before and all the things you didn't have
before you won.
Yeah. If you're not sad or put off
by it, just keep enjoying yourself.
If you are sad by it and it depresses you,
distance yourself from her. Now you don't have to pay
for dinners, but you still get to have
sex.
What's your problem, dude? Now he doesn't even have to go to dinner.
Wait a minute. Pause there.
Friends with benefits, fuck buddies. You don't still
buy dinner? We're going there. Friends with benefits, fuck buddies. You don't still buy dinner? We're going Dutch.
Friends with benefits?
No, usually it's more just like
hanging out and then fucking.
Yeah, we're not going to dinner. First of all, we're not going
to dinner. I might pay for the pizza that gets
delivered. Yeah, I mean, you'll
go to dinner if you're hungry.
DoorDash and Smash, that's the move.
I don't care for that. I also don't
care for the fuck buddy thing. It sounds
a little uncouth, maybe a little disrespectful
to the parties involved.
To who? To any of the parties
involved. It's only disrespectful
if you guys aren't in the same mind place.
No, but she has to explain to her mom that I'm
her fuck buddy. That might be a
little weird. Get her involved.
Yeah.
Now we've got...
Kyle, now we have
two members of the family.
Oh my goodness.
Your mom's like hideous.
You're like, I'm glad I'm getting in before the wall.
Do you have another one?
I like these.
I've got one. I want to do this one
for Ed again. Ed, this one's not so hard.
Are there any good
exercises to become more extroverted in your early 20s?
Going places and
trying to be extroverted. I'm a pretty introverted
person in general. Get out. Yes.
If I go to a car show and I take a picture with a thousand people, I
then need to sit in my car alone in the quiet for a while in order to
feel okay. And that's,
it's not that I don't enjoy everything that comes out of this stuff,
but in a natural sense, I am not energized by it. And so,
but there are, it's obviously,
it can be fun and it's very beneficial for me professionally to do extroverted things.
And I have learned to enjoy it more just by doing it.
It's like any exercise and any character trait or personal thing that you want to change that.
I'm sure there are medications that would help, but there's also just powering through it and spending time and just realizing that whatever it is that makes it uncomfortable can usually be overcome by tactics and schemas and things you like to talk about and better ways you listen to other people to make the encounters more acceptable.
On the end, you said something that's big for me.
Just listen more.
Conversations can go a little better if you listen, if you let that person completely finish their thought,
one thing that I used to do a conversational mistake is, you know, you'd tell your story
and then it would spawn like a similar experience that I've had. And I'd want to tell you about it.
It wasn't one upping. It wasn't like I'm the bigger deal it was how i related but the effect of that would be
maybe you didn't get to finish your story or maybe you'd be like hey this was some me time that i
really enjoyed and now it's you time again that kind of sucks so and that can be especially
compounded when you're talking to someone who's not like also doing youtube shit so like if you're
like if you told me what are you like yeah i was in a helicopter last week with a with an m60. I'd be like, yeah, I've done that too
It's gonna be like he's really yeah, we went to the machine gun range last week and we paid $35
I got to shoot an mp5 like from the games and all that's that's pretty cool, man
I'm pretty good friends with FPS Russia.
One time I flew in a helicopter by myself, though,
and shot a minigun at cars.
It was pretty sick.
You have ruined his day.
In that story, it's a one-up, but it doesn't have to be, right?
It's a ten-up.
But I would tell a one-down,
just as my way of relating to his experience
and one down being
like his story was better than mine
I've never seen a gun before
let them finish their
story let them have their moment listen
carefully be a good listener and that's a huge part
of it and also
in terms of like
it's super easy
they're enjoying the experience of telling
things all right so that's it and i think the what ed described is similar to me like i consider
myself an extrovert sprinter you know if you put me in an environment where i need to be an extrovert
i can kind of nail that for some period of time before i go back to my hotel room and rock in a
corner and recharge yeah we know how to put on a performance um my my uh my recommendation is um if you just
try to like raw dog this thing and like build the like ability to be extroverted and approach a
person have a conversation you can have like negative results right like if you if you used
women for example you can get shot down hard they always say what's the worst you could say and then
you see those memes on the internet of like the actual worst things you can say and sometimes it's like
ew like like it's act is little disgust and it's like all right well that guy's not going to
approach a woman for a decade or more now like he's ruined because he aimed too high right off
the bat maybe if he was a seasoned veteran at like some lower form of being extroverted that being that's that a woman saying ooh to him wouldn't like that would be a crippling experience
jesus christ but like so like if you ever speak to kids that's a fucking captive audience and
they think anything's cool as long as you're not an actual creep like like if you can like speak
to a group of kids about something um i don't know i always like that like like not you can
even be a creep like those kids were stoked to go to never know i always like that like like not you can even be a
creep like those kids were stoked to go to neverland just to be clear i like we go to events
where like kids show up and it's like hey kids how are you today you all came here to see me blah
blah blah like that's what i'm describing again this is another like youtuber to youtuber thing
i think if i explain this to a normal person they'd be like so where do i find a group of
children to get alone and talk to i just realized that's not a thing that that i guess maybe like an old folks home that
those people are like real hungry for for human contact you go to an old folks home and just pick
like one of the ones with the scared joe biden face and start talking to him he'll what what What side were you on in World War II? The union!
The union.
I mean, like, it's not.
I mean, you guys are hitting the nail on the head.
It's like any other exercise.
It'd be like, I want to have a really strong bench,
but I hate bench pressing.
What can I do?
It's like, well, you're going to have to make yourself do it.
Like, your social ability and extroversion,
you need to go practice it. And it's not as complicated
as people make it out to be. You don't need to go out there and put on a performance.
Ask genuine questions about what the person is talking about. Be sincere in your interest
of their topic. And people love talking about themselves. People love to hear themselves talk.
You keep someone talking, you may, after the conversation, go, that person hardly knows anything about me. Guess what? In their head, they go, I met
the friendliest guy. He and I really connected. We connected on XYZ. That's what you should do.
Yeah, to hit that back, that's what I was trying to say about listening, right? Let that guy talk.
Let that guy tell his story. He's loving this interaction. He thinks you're the friendliest guy.
You're paying attention to him.
And on your side as an extrovert in training, you're killing it easily.
You're just listening.
And don't like it's not fooling someone.
It's not being manipulative.
It's not tricky.
Like you're not trying to fool them into liking you.
Like be sincere and genuine.
Find a way to engage them on something
they're interested in and get them talking about it and like people can tell when you're being
genuine well well they can okay they can't always tell but people can tell what there's a difference
between being like really you work at steve's bank what's up with this what's up with that
verse like oh okay i would love looking at your phone
and oh yeah not engaging yeah like you should be able to feign interest in anything tell me
you're a bank teller teller taylor i'm a bank teller oh i've always wondered like how much
money do you guys actually keep behind the counter because like if i wanted to
rob you like what are you getting
away with common misconceptions we mostly deal in human trafficking is this is this the wells fargo
yeah it's mostly guns and do you know mark i'm the desk
do you know mark yeah the glass eye we call him massacre mark he's he's a he's a master oh man we had a little major at his house last week he had these filipino boys uh you must know
oh yeah fresh off the plane what does it take to catch the attention of a bank teller
with a deposit like i have no idea, right? Open your heads! All right, well played, well played.
But, like, you know, if you put in, like, seven grand, are they, like, seven grand?
Is that number 40 grand?
Does it have to be six digits?
At what point are they, like, what is this guy doing?
Like, how did he get this big a check?
Probably a million dollars or something like that.
You think?
I bet they deal with really big checks.
Ed, what's your number? Bank teller. What do you think makes them raise their eyebrows?
A quarter million bucks.
Wow. These numbers are much bigger than
I thought. I mean,
I've put in
six figures
amounts of monies and nobody
came out with their jaws on the ground.
They're all in banks. You must be a real
successful failure. I don't know. came out with their jaws on the ground. They're a fucking bank. You must be a real successful feller.
I don't know.
I don't know.
Nobody was blown away
when I gave them the check.
They were just like,
okay, where do you want it?
They went from there.
Well, your majesty.
It's not like that at all.
I thought the number would be... so to me like 45 grand i that
keeps burning in my head that's an annual salary that you know so some guy i'm listening if you're
a farmer like a poultry farmer like a small poultry farmer um that's your check that's your
like um that's the check you get every uh seven weeks It's about 40 to 50,000 like for a small one.
So like,
like the medium sized ones are getting,
you know,
80,
a hundred thousand dollar checks on the weekly.
And I'm sure that's everywhere that has like,
I'm sure there's an industry like that everywhere.
You know what I mean?
Right.
Yeah.
I'm sure some guys doing,
I'm sorry,
cutting you off a weekly deposits before payroll that are,
and people are buying and selling properties and such,
you know,
like,
like I just feel like if it's like a personal check from like you to me now i think
that's a different situation if you wrote me a check for a hundred thousand dollars i hope they're
raising eyebrows i hope they're going all right we're gonna ballpoint pen yeah yeah exactly and
then they see your handwriting and they're... If they saw you...
Did he take advantage of a retarded person?
That's what would happen.
Literally, if you...
It would kind of be fun to do as a joke.
I promise I'll steal your money.
I won't even cash it for real.
I'll reverse it immediately.
But that would be so funny to see what the actual reaction would be.
Like, if you wrote it in...
Play it up silly. write it in crayon
uh-huh I'll misspell 11
because that doesn't happen naturally
no I think I think that
would literally raise eyebrows because the examples I
was giving is like a
giant like Tyson chicken
writing somebody a check for it those checks are official
and like they're those extra big checks
and they're like got holograms on them.
Not holograms, but those holographic
thingy stickers on them and shit.
But just a personal check from me
to you for six figures,
I would imagine that that should definitely
raise an eyebrow. With your bank,
they should definitely be like,
oh, a lot of money moving
out of here. Let's make sure that's okay.
I've got another one. I like starting with Ed. Ed, this one's nothing to be scared of money moving out of here. Let's make sure that's okay. I've got another one, and I like starting with Ed.
Ed, this one's nothing to be scared of.
The three of you, he meant Kyle Taylor and Ed, I'm sure,
are quite wise and intelligent beyond your years.
Can each of you give us your single best tip on how to succeed in life as an idiot?
So how did you do it, Ed?
Well, when I was a young idiot, to me, it's always been risk.
It's just the way that you approach risk. And it honestly answers the last question as well. If
you're anxious about confrontation or anything, then that's where it becomes hard. But if you
get rid of the anxiety because you drop the stakes and you realize that anything that goes badly can
be recovered from, it allows you to take chances. It allows you to take risks and allows you to
learn how to take better risks as you become less of an idiot. And I look back on a lot of the
decisions that I've made and a lot of the, you know, you'd say investments or ideas or whatever
I've explored, and they were probably pretty harebrained. They were probably terrible ideas, but I made the best
of whatever the outcomes were. And it was that attitude that has carried me to wherever I am.
I'm not sure it's good or bad or indifferent, but if it hadn't been for managing risk, that,
that wouldn't be the answer. I say um always treat people the way you'd
like to be treated especially um well there really isn't especially but but it's also the people who
you seemingly don't matter if you treat them nicely or not like waitresses and i don't know
bellhops people carry your luggage the guy at the airport throws your bag i don't know i don't i
don't i don't even think it's good mojo i don't even believe in karma i just think that like maybe that guy was gonna steal some
shit out of your bag and because you slipped him five bucks and told him to have a good day he's
like that's one of the good ones and like he winks at the other night from the next guy he winks at
the other nigerian and my bag goes in the like black people pile and doesn't get pilfered through
you know like i'm hoping for that to happen or like like you know we talked about the other day where that that youtuber that
we that i watch um somebody had come in stolen his shit and he caught him on camera got the police
involved and they and he was like just give me the 1400 for the cameras you damaged and no charges
and they had that 1400 and he's like you know what keep it keep that money let's just be friends let's be neighbors
and nobody agreed with me i thought that was the smartest move he could make because the alternative
was putting his neighbor that already we know is like trashy enough to rob you in a position where
like you got him for fourteen hundred dollars he clearly needs you won me over
if i recall oh i wasn't meaning you there was there was others you know it was a whole there's
like 25 of us in there but everybody was like yeah they should have nailed his ass to the wall
it's like first of all it's like misdemeanor theft it was like two thousand dollars worth
of shit or something like that now now you're gonna like send this guy to the court system
he's gonna do some community service and hate your fucking guts and he lives right there now are you ever gonna feel comfortable
storing anything in your building again no squash it like like i don't know i always try to like
squash your beefs yeah squash your beefs bury those hatchets and stuff like that um and just
treat people the way you'd like to be treated and I don't know. That kind of karma, I think, leads things to kind of fall into place.
I try to do that the best I can most of the time,
except with women and minorities.
Taylor, were you there to hear the question?
No, I'm sorry.
I think I erased it.
Being wise and intelligent beyond your years,
can each of you give us your single best tip on how to succeed in life as an
idiot?
Oh,
geez.
Yeah.
Do you like my answer now that you know the question?
Yeah.
I think my strength is the grind.
I don't know that I'm smarter than everyone else.
I don't know that I'm funnier or whatever,
but getting the work done, even when you don't feel that I'm smarter than everyone else. I don't know that I'm funnier or whatever, but getting the work done,
even when you don't feel like it.
And I don't know,
just the grind,
grind,
grind.
I feel like that's what my Minecraft server was successful.
Getting the work done when you don't feel like is so fucking hard.
It's the,
it's so hard that most people's strategy is to completely avoid that hurdle
and only,
and try to do that like was it mark twain
that said make your vocation your um um your um make your hobby your vocation perhaps um vacation
your vocation your vacation that's it you really say that it's not from like travelocity
mark twain uh make your vocation your vacation like most people try to do that right they find
what they're passionate about what they love and then they find a way to get paid doing it maybe like this guy
right like like like most people and what he was like i hate this but it pays i hate
like that's hard to do that's what working out is that's what like but the non-fun part of working
out is like when you don't want to if you don't like if every time you felt like what working out is. That's what the non-fun part of working out is.
When you don't want to. If every time you felt like not working out, you just didn't,
you would make no progress.
Because there are a bunch of...
There's those times where for weeks, you're just rolling
and you're excited to get in the gym and you got momentum.
Then there are just as many weeks where you're like,
I have to go pull a bunch of weight again.
I guess so.
But then by the time you're down there doing it, you feel better.
And that's the way all tasks are.
I almost always put off my taxes until it is borderline the last second.
And then I'm that guy emailing the accountant like, this is your problem.
And then I'm that guy like emailing the accountant like, this is your problem.
But like just this last week, I was like, you know what?
You have to do these no matter what.
Let's just do it.
Let's just do it and not be in a blind panic in the third week of April.
And I did.
And after like that first second of starting, you get re-reminded of the previous year. And you're like, this isn't that bad.
It's just adding stuff up.
It's just adding.
And then sending your sum to the guy
with all your deductions and everything.
And so it's, yeah, that resonated with me.
Forcing yourself to do the work
when you really don't want to.
I have no idea what that is.
Somebody's got a beeping noise.
It's not me.
It's not me.
I wasn't attacking anyone. I was scared it was me that was my actual thought
process it's like it's like when you know daddy's gonna be angry and he's gonna hit whoever's
closest yeah no my way of like when i feel uh overburdened like that it's like oh i'm stressed
about this and people in my life will be like hey why don't you just take a break why don't you step
away why don't you feel better and it's like no those things don't solve my
stress and anxiety you know what solves my stress and anxiety getting the shit done that so yeah
so um i was fenster messaged me um i think yesterday or something like yeah we just heard
it beeping that's not there is nothing my shit you can't hear my shit.
She messaged me yesterday, she.
I think he. It's 100% he,
first of all. Although now
it ruins the joke for Ed when I show you
the picture. But that's okay.
I've just been building that up for an
hour.
You just used the wrong pronoun.
I did it on purpose to
fool him into thinking she was a girl
and then I was going to get him all hot. I was going to say that she
was my girlfriend and that I was
uncomfortable with the amount of cleavage that she showed
on her Twitch streams and I was going to get Ed's opinion.
I had a whole thing going.
Oh, wow. This is quite the buildup.
Anyway,
she sent me this picture.
Whoa.
And I was like, we haven't had a girl on the show in a while.
Do you want to come on in a week or two?
And let me see what she said.
Sweet, I'm free on the 14th, maybe not the 21st.
I will find some good outfits, though,
so you can continue to ignore that I'm still a guy.
And I said, sweet, I'm going to continue to ignore it for as long as you do.
You could show that picture.
Yeah.
I mean, she's on stream there.
Yeah.
I don't get it.
I don't see where the – I'm like –
You want some help?
No, no.
I want to make my guess before i get help okay so previously he
had uh what are sometimes called chicken cutlets and you can like put what looks like a chicken
cutlet under a bra and uh it fills out a bra and it looks great they look great but now
this is a whole new thing and clearly you can you can see it's not just filling out the shirt and bra.
You're getting side boob.
I suspect that it's going up to roughly his collarbone.
That it's like a whole lot.
A prosthetic?
Yeah, it's a full prosthetic.
I'm not sure which one he has.
There's some that stop just below the bust line.
There's some that go down to the waist,
and there's some that are like full body fucking creepy mode suits
like in Silence of the Lambs.
But I'm guessing that the choker is concealing it along with some makeup
and maybe in even a bit of like spirit gum, like a glue that's like skin safe,
like to really lay the latex or whatever the material is down.
You can see the latex there. There it is.
The choker's hiding it. Perfect.
Yeah, I feel like there's a
tiny difference in skin tone above and below.
Oh no, there's a lip
there. But still,
10 out of 10
fakery here.
You've killed it. You've become a better
woman than anyone.
You know, I bakery here like like you've killed it you've become a better woman than anyone you know i i that men are better at everything you find me a woman that's as good at being female as he is
and i will change my mind. Another one in the boys column, baby.
Can't stop winning.
Take it away.
I can't look anymore.
You're getting Kyle hot and bothered.
I can't.
I'm on so much blue chew and long and low.
I'm about to blast off over here.
That is definitely new because last time he was just doing uh the like the makeup force
perspective thing right yeah i've never seen this it's a finster on on twitch or or on youtube
whether you like if you like minecraft you can check out finster uh this looking topic change
what i don't know what that means you're gonna check out him on YouTube with his Minecraft stuff or you could
watch
his titties on Twitch.
Friend of the show.
High quality fella.
Okay, well.
We'll get him back on.
That's quite the network.
Yes.
It's quite the revolving door
of guests. Yeah, Finsterster's awesome i like him a lot
he comes into the uh the patron hangouts from time to time because he's a 50 patron so he just
will pop in and show up all dolled up and then we'll chat he likes he didn't come well he came
in last month but only for like a few seconds like he just made an appearance. In other months, he comes and he has so many
knives. He's into knives and I'm into knives.
But now mine are organized
and I was ready to go
knife for knife with him.
Every time he pulled one out, I'd pull one out, try to
match his collection.
He didn't stay long enough. I couldn't do it.
Well, he'll be there this month.
I think he showed up not really
gussied up and I yelled at him.
I was like, I did not want to see you in boy mode.
Get the fuck out of here.
Well, that made Kyle feel some really strange feelings.
Yeah, yeah.
I didn't care for it.
I didn't like how that made me feel.
Kyle lashed out in anger.
Yeah.
I went out that night and beat a stranger terribly in the park.
That's the only way I could make those feelings make sense.
A gay guy wouldn't beat someone up at the park.
Exactly.
I'm a man.
That's not what a gay guy would do.
Wait.
Yeah.
All right.
All right.
I guess another Ed question.
Would the host be interested in trying
ABDL diapers? They're vastly
secure to drugstore brands.
What is an ABDL diaper, Ed?
I don't have the slightest clue.
Subject matter expert. That's why we brought
you on. Yeah, that's
not in the wheelhouse.
Do you guys remember? We did a bit on this
years ago.
It's the adult baby diaper.
It's either life or lover.
Lovers?
Lovers, life, adult baby diaper life.
Adult baby diaper legion.
Oh, I like that so much.
Yeah.
Now it sounds like they've got a mission to do.
Yeah.
To poop in public.
Adult diapers, liners, and pads.
Oh, that's so much.
I'm seeing here.
And what's the question regarding them?
Would we be interested in trying them?
They're vastly superior to the drugstore brands.
So it's a brand name.
I don't really understand.
It sounds like there's some missing information from the question,
but maybe he thinks that he's built a better mousetrap with his diapers
that are superior to the drugstore diapers?
I think that he's trying to get us just to talk about diapers.
I think this is another example of not all questions being well thought out.
All right, all right.
I'm going to take that one on the chin.
That was my fault.
Sometimes the question like what is the last four of woody's social it's like i don't know i don't think i'm gonna we're gonna answer that one
well when it comes to the diaper questions those get through the filter those get through the fence
yeah i mean i would imagine that they're marketing those adult baby diapers to people who like doing it sexually,
probably not for people like Joe Biden.
I mean, but I think people like Joe Biden
want the ones that are sort of stealth.
They really blend in at the top and at the bottom.
I've seen those commercials for those when I watch Fox News.
They blend in really well under your clothes. There's always a grandma playing tennis, top and at the bottom i've seen those commercials for those when i watch fox news uh that they like
blend in really well under your clothes there's always a grandma playing tennis and she like
bends over and you can't see it's great it's pretty hot stuff i kind of like this question
what youtubers which each host box if they were in the idubbbz charity boxing event who would be
a good matchup for each host i want har Harley. I would want to fight Harley. God,
you picked a big'em. I think Harley's
slow, though, and I
think that
I think I would just try
to hit him in the body, and
I would definitely cheat at some point and take him
down. That would be my
goal set. Plus, I would have to
heavily rely on the fact that Harley likes me a lot,
and he wouldn't expect me to be quite as ferocious
as I'm going to be with the chili pepper fists and everything.
I would straight up
dominate Ricky Berwick.
That would be the play.
Do the chili pepper fist thing.
Take some of that OC spray
and put it on my gloves and
get him in the eyes a little.
Is he that guy?
The hot wings
interviews? Is that who Ricky Berwick is?
No, he's
a guy who has really
severe physical deformities.
Oh.
What's wrong with him?
He's a hilarious guy, though.
He's always like...
He's like a comedian kind of guy.
How fucked up is he, though?
Let me ask you this.
Would you feel comfortable sitting across from him at dinner?
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, because I've seen...
You could eat a meal.
He's a very funny guy, so he'd be...
Yeah, Zach, can you show us what...
Yeah.
Is he going to put a shirt on? shirt on no no he likes to make people
uncomfortable and like i'll see him like on twitter and like some someone will mission
accomplished someone will be like virtue signaling like we need to stop like the person being mocked
is totally unacceptable it's out of line and then he'll respond with like an intentionally
out over the line gross video like shut the fuck up bitch
like it's funny
so I could take him definitely
dude that thing I don't know what you
do you have any fighting experience I
wrestled in middle school
and I can walk
so I don't I don't want to brag.
Oh, yeah? What kind of
caster bag do you use?
He's a very funny guy.
I don't care. I mean, he better be.
Can you imagine if that guy
had a bad personality?
Yeah, that would
be insurmountable can you imagine that guy like
like but he's an asshole he's like that guy was a total cunt yeah he doesn't tip like he's the
opposite of what i said before he doesn't tip uh i don't i don't know who's like a similar size
youtuber to me like i i'm not confident fighting ability, so I'm targeting smaller guys like Tucker.
Jericho, I would dominate Tucker.
I'm choosing guys
in my age class.
I want Junkyard129.
I want that other guy. Is it
Ken Burns? Who's the other guy?
I think that's right. Ken Burns.
I don't even know what he looks like, but I just know
he's old, so that's
what I'm looking for. It seems incredibly unfair.
Shouldn't you have to pick people who have the same body fat
percentage as you?
No, I don't want that.
Okay.
I can find
a fat piece of shit who doesn't lift.
It's going to be like that
scene out of Spartacus.
Like a dude that steps out in front of Woody.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
I got a goddamn minute. What's your name?
Sven?
Sven?
Sven what?
Sven Mankiller.
What kind of YouTuber
are you again? You make swords.
Swords, guys.
Yeah, you wouldn't want to fuck with that guy.
I don't want to box anybody for any fucking reason, man.
It hasn't gone yet.
Oh, it'd have to be somebody status that would move me up like Mark Rober.
So my kid would think I was cool.
If I beat him up, that would be.
And he doesn't seem like a natural fighter either.
He's kind of.
And he also seems short.
I'm 6'5".
It would just be a reach thing and just bonk him. also seems short. I'm 6'5". It would just be a reach thing
and just bonk him.
That's huge.
You're 6'5"?
Good gosh.
Ooh, I just had a great idea.
Why don't the fitness YouTubers
do a boxing match?
That would be so popular.
Dude, if Derek boxed somebody,
I would pay to watch that.
If Derek and Jujimufu
decide to square off, I would watch that. that. If Derek and Jujimufu decide to square off,
I would watch that.
Jujie's got the body of someone who can
throw head kicks.
Oh, I forgot how athletic Jujie is.
He's really athletic.
Do you know Jujimufu?
No, I do not. Zach, can you put a picture up there?
This guy looks...
Well, he literally... I think he is an
amateur bodybuilder.
He takes it
professional grade serious, I guarantee it.
Well phrased, yeah.
He looks like a professional bodybuilder.
But he's also like
an acrobat. He's
into parkour. He's
incredibly athletic.
Oh, wow.
If you were to see him standing still, this kind of
shows off some of his flexibility. If you were to see him just standing there, you'd think he'd be muscle-bound
and not that athletic. He's really into indoor rock climbing.
I didn't know quads could look like that.
That's just ridiculous.
I choose to believe that instead of stuffing stuffing socks where his dick would be he puts
them where his thighs are it's like totally different program there but just a colossal
man i would love to talk to him again like yeah maybe about that whole kerfuffle he had a while
back like i don't know if he'd be ready to talk about that or not but i'd ask him in private if
he was yeah basically ed uh we we had him on with
his like sidekick he used to have a sidekick character named tom who was not a muscle bound
like it made no sense because all of this guy's videos were like hey i'm juju mufu and i'm an
absolute monster i invited some of my monstrous friends to do monster things and then you do and
then you'd watch it and there would be this other Tom, who's like snarkily and badly doing the exercises.
And it's like, this isn't comedic relief, you bitch.
A little guy.
Not here for you.
And apparently this guy.
A regular-sized person.
Yeah, a regular-sized person.
And then that guy apparently was pilfering funds from a grip genie, a company that Jujy made with him of like grippers and shit like that.
Yeah, that's the other guy.
And it's like, what the fuck are we doing here?
That is not a funny Jujie.
Once he got kicked out of the channel,
the content got better.
It did not get worse.
It got better.
Of course.
When they were here with us,
I try not to be rude to guests most of the time.
But what I wanted to say to Tom was like, so why does Gigi need you?
Like, why does Gigi need you?
What's your purpose?
What do you do?
Are you like the brains behind this whole thing?
Is he retarded and, like, you have to, like, prop him up
and put a script in front of him?
Or is he, like, why are you here?
It made no sense. Every time he'd talk,
I was like, dude,
I want to hear from He-Man, not you.
You're like He-Man's friend whose name
I don't remember, and I'm a He-Man fan.
Yeah, it's like you. You're the cat
He-Man rides.
If I wanted to know how you would
deadlift a jeep liberty i would ask you but you haven't done that and so like i'm asking the guy
who did wait did he really do that he it was probably a small i'm sure something absurd
something ridiculous yeah so here's my theory i think juuju is a really nice guy. And Tom was someone who needed help.
And he just found himself in the role of helping him all the time.
He helped him get fit.
Tom would flow in and out of depression and happiness and stuff.
Juju would lift him up all the time.
He just wired to help people like that.
I think that's who he is.
Until eventually he was like, well, you't literally just like steal the money while i do
this for you you got to go now and uh my suspicion is that tom is not better off uh than he was
before yeah definitely that would be my assumption as well as well i mean his internet apology went
so badly he deleted the video yeah the internet apology was super cringe it was real funny yeah like i
was dealing with gambling and it's like yeah we know that's why we're here like that's
you gambled the money from my only one that doesn't find that to be a like an excuse like
if you tell me like like like sorry man poker you know it's like yeah okay i don't care how you lost
the money asshole i care that you
borrowed money from me and now you don't have it to return even though you said you were going to
give it to me like like i don't like loaning people money in any way like when if i was going
to borrow money from someone they would not have to come looking for that money when it was time
to get it back to them like i would be hunting them down to get them their money like like like hey we're an outstanding
debt here um let's get this settled up i wouldn't like that meanwhile like you i've always seen the
opposite when i've most of the time i've seen the opposite when i've loaned people money
there's been a few times where i've loaned like you know two thousand dollars or something like
that and like a month later five hundred of it came in a month
later a thousand of it came in and then you know the rest came in like that sort of thing i love
that i love that oh coming back with 500 the next month i'm like i know i'm getting it all like i'm
happy take your time now like like but i've also had people like huh like yeah the money that i gave you the 75 dollars that you remember what huh
when what are you talking about dude if you play law and order i'm feeling targeted here
no you're right kyle but like i i saw the same thing you did where it was like
well it's a gambling problem and And it's like, okay.
But if you replace that with like,
no,
no,
you don't understand.
Tom is like a severe alcoholic and he spent all the money on the
fanciest beer and the,
whatever the fuck,
or,
oh,
he's addicted to cocaine and he needed that,
that Colombian white,
like immediately people would be like,
yeah,
that's bullshit.
He still stole.
But with gambling,
because it's not a physical substance,
it feels like there's a little
extra leeway given to it almost no leeway i don't care i don't care how i was meaning from the
public oh you mean to me it doesn't i don't care how you spent it like if it was like woody why'd
you steal that money i'd be like yeah i really like buying things you to see these knives.
I like buying things a lot. I like having
new things, nice things.
So I took your money.
Yeah.
That's what I heard.
Honesty
goes a long way there. Well, guys, it's been
fun. I got to head out for the night.
Thank you so much for coming on.
Absolutely. Y'all take care.
Yeah, good night. See you later.
See ya.
Check out Ed's channel below
if you want to sub to him. Check out his
very entertaining car stories.
He is a gifted storyteller.
You'll like his channel. Watch my video. See if you're
hooked. Yeah, he's really good.
Sorry, what were you leading into, Kyle?
I think I was going to ask you if you'd ever loaned some money to someone and then they didn't pay it back or had a hard time getting the money back.
I think I've been fortunate enough to hear from friends of mine who got in sticky situations with lending family or friends money that I've never done it.
But there was one time, this was 20...
When did they make weed legal in Colorado? 2014? Is that
right? Sounds right. So like 2014, 15 around there, I heard from a cousin of mine at the time
who I hadn't heard from in a while. He's a great guy, but I just hadn't heard from him in a while.
And he was like, hey, I got got a business thing i need like a thousand
dollars i totally understand if you can't but i'll pay you back and i was like and at this time like
i'm i'm i was in idaho i was making no fucking money and i was like okay what's it for like i
really don't have a grand to just like be doling out right now and he was like well
they just legalized pot in colorado and so we've got a system with this like torn down car that i'm
gonna buy a thousand dollars worth of weed from all these different dispensaries pack it into the
doors of this civic and then i'm gonna drive it through kansas and missouri to like somewhere else and
we're gonna sell it there and i'll pay you back your your money once i've uh done that and i was
like man i'm gonna have to pass on this like i'm getting involved in felonies like state lines like
please as a favor to me, don't mention this
to me ever again in any capacity.
Taylor, you promised me you'd never
tell that story.
Well, you've already served the time.
I feel like I can come out
and add you to the limitations.
That is ridiculous.
First of all,
that's not even that big of a money-making
venture because dispensary prices are not like crazy low like if anything it would be smart if you could like
grow your weed there like have you have a big crop that you harvested and then take that
somewhere else like maybe you could grow it there safely but but like the idea of buying
from dispensaries to sell somewhere else seems like, I don't know, you're not making a lot of money.
Yeah, I don't remember the crux of the deal.
Maybe it was like, I'm getting a huge amount from a friend of mine who owns a dispensary.
Once I heard the business plan, I was checked out.
Yeah, no thank you.
Not going to be involved in this.
Yeah, let me just throw you $1,000 in my fucking enterprise rent-a-car money that i'm floating in clearly like
oh that's because we're gonna need a lot of cars we're gonna need a lot of guys can you get us a
deal can you put your employee code on the fucking uh youn that you're going to ruin on the way there. Discount.
Dude, I want to tell my story.
So this guy wrote to me in the last year or two. I'm trying to
anonymize it a whole bunch.
And he was like an acquaintance
of mine that I used to see.
I've probably seen him 15
times total. And we would talk
but not like hang or like
anything. We were particularly particularly close and he says matt
already he's calling me matt right we're tight like this because all my good friends call me matt
sadly i'm stuck in a state in america my wife is not doing well she's losing weight and she's at
97 pounds now currently i'm full-time caregiving and it has me in a bind. Is there any chance you could spot
me $200 until the first?
I can return it as soon as our check
hits. I don't ask this lightly.
Full-time caregiving is killing me.
We do Cash App, Venmo,
Zelle. If you can help me, please let
me know. Then he says goodbye.
It's a weird
spot for me. Everyone knows I have
$200. I could. it's a weird spot for me right everyone knows i have two hundred dollars like i could but i barely
know this guy and i haven't talked to him in five years and he reaches out and asks for two hundred
dollars i'm like what is the what is the even ethical thing to do what am i supposed to do
um i don't know like why don't you guys answer first what would you do
break him down an interest and payback plan.
No, I'm good.
I would just not respond. I haven't talked to this person in half a decade
and they're coming to me asking for money. I would feel bad for them, but
no, I'm not going to get involved. I don't know.
The reason I'm struggling to answer the question is I don't have a
face to put it it to like in my
life like if i had an individual like like there are people that could ask and i absolutely wouldn't
then there are people that would ask and i'd be like it would be awkward and i'd probably just
like lie or something or or be like what for or like talk it out more and then there's people
i would definitely just ignore like it really just depends on who it is.
What I did is I mentioned I have a friend.
He rented that beach house.
He's very wealthy, much more so than me.
And I was like, dude, I need ethics advice.
This guy needs money.
I have money, but we're not friends or anything.
He's just hitting me up randomly asking for cash.
What would you do and he's like
I read that message
it looked like he copied and pasted
that to a lot of people
hey you know what
we did this already did we
yeah I'm sorry
I wonder if I came up with
the same conclusion the first time
I don't know
I'll fast forward to the end then I apologize for anyone who's heard this before I wonder if I came up with the same conclusion the first time. I don't know.
I'll fast forward to the end then.
I apologize for anyone who's heard this before.
But I ended up not giving the money.
He was like, you know, this is a copy-paste.
It's not really about you.
But, yeah, it's weird.
If $200 really stretched me, it'd be easy to say no.
That's what I noticed when you read it um just then was when he listed like three
or four different like ways to pay him that's sketchy like like i it was only i only didn't
mention it because like you were like oh and this is a person he knew like and then i'm like foggy
about just how well they know each other so it's i don't know but like if some if i'm asking someone
for some money in that initial message is not the four odd different
ways that i'll take it's like however you can get the money to me is how i want the money like i'm
not going to be like yeah the ways where you can't get it back and there's very little record
like hey could you say crypto he wasn't hacked though because he mentioned my name he put his
own name and i anonymized the name of his wife like i didn't include it but he did so it wasn't hacked, though, because he mentioned my name. He put his own name and I anonymized the name of his wife.
Like I didn't include it, but he did.
So it wasn't like, you know, some random.
What's wrong with the wife?
I'll tell you privately.
Oh, shit.
Well, God damn it.
Now you're pulling me back the other way.
Apparently, whatever's wrong with this guy's
wife is so bad it's unspeakable so i'm like so now i'm like god damn maybe they need the 200
dollars it sounds like that like hitler raped her in the face with a flamethrower or something i
don't know what happened but it sounds awful yeah that's the case give her the money but
he really should give her the money shouldn't he yeah why stop at 200 i should have introduced him to you taylor if you really want to make
an impact in these people's lives that you're gonna have to definitely break into the four
or five figure range yeah that is also curious where it's like, I have a huge medical bill. I'm going to need $200.
Like, what's that?
The payback on the first implied to me
he needed it to make ends meet.
Like, he had to buy food between now and the first
or something.
They're eating good.
I don't know.
It's all insulin.
He hasn't eaten in a fortnight.
Did you see the Democrats pass something to make insulin cap at
35 i tried i was like just a week ago i'm like you know i give up they're both the same
and then every single republic i think maybe all but two republicans voted against it
such a joke and the democrats and i was like? I guess not the same. Are you diabetic?
Oh, and weed decriminalization.
What happened with that?
I know the Democrats passed weed decriminalization.
Republicans generally didn't.
But it did get through the House, I think.
And I guess the Senate at some point, whenever they feel like hearing it, I would imagine.
Who controls the Senate?
Is it Democrats or is it tied?
The Democrats have the tiebreaker. So it's 50-50, but the VP is the tiebreaker is it tied the democrats have uh the tiebreaker so it's 50 50 but the vp is the tiebreaker oh push that shit through you think yeah but then it's gonna be
like one dude probably mansion or cinema you know who just isn't for it oh i don't even know who
those people are but i believe it i totally believe all the republicans who 80 of them need insulin like they're so
fucking fat like they don't care though it is bullshit like gouging people on insulin is fucked
yes and the epi pens was a big thing i don't know if they cured they they not cured um whatever
sorted that out yet yeah i i'm still thinking thinking that there's going to be a shortage of wheat this fall.
I just don't see how there couldn't be.
I read somewhere fertilizer was a bigger issue than the wheat itself.
But who knows?
I don't know what to believe.
That's great.
Yeah.
Fertilizer seems real important.
You know who's going to make the big bucks?
People with extra chicken shit laying around.
Yeah.
All the geniuses who have been hoarding
huge amounts of nitrogen-rich
fertilizer on their property in secret
for years.
Kyle's going to be heir to the
Christian fortune.
I don't know why you're saying those things.
I don't have anything of the sort.
Oh, he definitely doesn't have rooms and rooms
and an entire basement filled with chicken shit.
I don't have a basement.
He doesn't have any chicken shit
stored in the guest room, the dining room.
Well, chicken shit is its own thing.
I have nothing to do with chicken shit.
You just have an underground silo of savings.
Talk about ammonium nitrate. I don't want to hear that.
So this is, I'll put the tweet in there.
A little update, Zach, you can show this,
of our buddy Harley with Sam Hyde.
They're there, they're training,
and put that picture up when you can, Zach.
So there's the first picture.
I had to go to Sam's, one of his 50 banned Instagrams
that he's worked around on,
but he said he's using that hammer
for Harley's situational awareness training.
He says it's time to hammer him up.
You can also see that he's holding something
to keep his fingerprints off the hammer.
And then the second photo is implying
that home defense pepper gel is going to play a part
in getting Harley ready for this match.
Dude, I'm going to buy that shit right now.
It's made by Sabre Red.
I have a question about Sam's glasses in the right picture.
Are they actually
different sizes, left versus
right? Oh, can you show the other
picture, Zach? You can hit the little right arrow.
Boop.
Are those glasses different sizes?
So, like,
something about the photos Sam will
upload is he'll, like, intentionally
put bad focal points and, like things slightly to like look bizarre.
And so or it could just be that he's a weird looking dude.
Zach, can you please go back to the other picture?
Is that what that is?
It looks like the focal point is too close.
And so it's like stretching his face backwards and like ballooning the glasses out.
I can't tell, but I see your point.
Like it's possible that one is just a completely different diameter.
I know.
It looks like the eyes look about the same.
Either thing is a likely option.
It could be either one.
There's a there's a YouTube short I saw today that Harley uploaded.
And it was Harley like trying to get a response from Sam and Harley filming him like, Sam, you're a big dude. You're bigger than you told me you were. You're as big as I am. Because it's a meme, Sam Hyde lies about being shorter than he is. And it's Harley going like this five times. Sam, look at me. Sam, look at me. And Sam's like looking around
other stuff on the floor. And then he's like,
Sam, please look at me. And he
finally looks at him and the video ends.
And it's just like
he's just dealing with that. It's so
fucking funny. I can't wait to see Harley
absolutely maul this guy with the
support of, with the expert training
of Sam. It's going to be great.
I don't know what's going to happen.
Oh, can we talk UFC?
Yeah, sure.
Kyle, we talked about
Chimaev a little bit.
I'm kind of looking forward
to the Peter Yan.
His name,
Aljamain Sterling?
What is Sterling's first name?
Aljamain Sterling. It's like a first name aljermaine aljermaine sterling and it's
pete it's like a pitor or page how does that fucking rush oh p-e-t-r peter yeah so sterling
versus yan this is an interesting fight so they met before the first time kyle probably knows this
but for the audience's benefit um peter yan just worked with me on the names and sterling yan got
the best of him like you can't find 10 seconds in a row where sterling looked like the better fighter
yan would just taking it to him and i forget how many rounds it went but call it four i don't know
something like that and uh yeah so the white guy was just beating him every moment of that fight virtually and then
at one point sterling who's on the right the black guy is down on his knees and peter yan
knees him in the head so then that's illegal and the ref turns to sterling this is the black on the
right of the picture and says can you continue and he knows
if i can't the other guy gets disqualified and i become champion of the world champion of the world
and uh with the champion doesn't just come prestige like you might think that they get like
i think pay-per-view points i don't know if every champion has the same contract.
But there's definitely a lot of money involved in getting the belt.
I know that the Venom deal, what used to be the Reebok deal. It's a whole different contract.
Yeah, it's good stuff.
It's good stuff.
This is life-changing money, and all he has to do is say,
I can't go on.
And keep in mind, he's just had his butt beaten for all this time.
It's not his night.
We all know it's not his night.
We know it's not his night. We know
it's not going his way, but he made the business decision and said, give me that belt. Well,
initially everyone hated him for it. They were very angry at this guy Sterling on the right,
because they're like, you're not a champion. You lost that fight. We all watched it. We all saw
you lose. That is not what winning a fight looks like and he was like yeah
i'm injured i can't go on is it then he changed his tune then he he just started leaning into it
he's like i'm gonna beat this guy down that guy was so scared of me he had to find a way out of
the fight that's why he need me in the head he knew i was about to whoop his ass so he found an
exit door i've seen his i've seen his instagram videos making fun of this like like like he's leaned completely into it and everybody loves him now he's the underdog but
he may have to pay for his jokes oh i don't love him i think he's a bitch and i hope that uh
pistol pete as i like to call him um puts a puts a real painful whooping on him. I look forward to that. But the people's main event is Kamzat.
Like, that's the fight.
If I could only see one of the fights that's happening that night,
it would be it.
The girls' fight, it's maybe Tisha Torres.
It's two pretty girls, which is a rare...
Mackenzie Dern.
Yeah, yeah.
Mackenzie doesn't look pretty in this picture, but I agree with you.
I think of her as one of the prettiest girls
I saw them at the presser
sitting across from each other
both of them looked great
one of them was a big head
I'm with you on the people's main event concept
this
Cosmot vs Gilbert Burns
Cosmot Chimaev
Kamzat?
it looks like Kamzat? Kamzat?
It looks like Kamzat.
And then Shemayev.
Anyway, this guy has my interest.
He hasn't... He's 10-0.
So it's confusing when I say he hasn't beaten
anybody, but
he hasn't faced
top competition, but
people who seem to be able to
break down fighters say he's the guy he they're
talking about title shots for him even though he hasn't beaten a ranked opponent now he's going up
against the number two guy not just ranked but like the top of the rankings and if he wins this
burns his number two yeah i'm confirming that yeah i'm right wow i had no idea yeah i knew he was a ranked opponent but i didn't
know he's second so number two is kind of three it goes champion one two oh no i feel you but but
like number sometimes i say things for the listeners ah yeah um wow i'm even more excited
now this is a this is a huge test for him yes yeah so uh i saw them meet each other in a hallway and they were super friendly but
kamzat is like got that jokey kind of weird way about and he's he's like he's like you look small
brother you look weak brother you need a banana or some chocolate because he's all dehydrated you
know for the weight cut he's like show me your power and like i think he wanted to like bear hug
each other and squeeze i think that's what he wanted he's like show me your power and like i think he wanted to like bear hug each other and squeeze i think that's what he wanted he's like show me your power and like reached out he's like i'll show you on saturday he's like
show me your power and like he's like indignant and then at the press conference they're like
what do you think's gonna happen he's like i saw him i saw him yesterday and i told him show me he would not if he asked me to show
him my power
I'd be like
I'm all out of power
I don't know
I can't remember the name of the female fighter
but she was talking about how he is
in the gym
he just comes up to me and says what's up and then like shin on shin kicks me
and i'm hopping around and he just walks the right way laughing he's like he's always trying
to wrestle and i'm just like we're in the sauna maybe later he's with some naked slippery wrestling
he just apparently like always like yeah me too no she was not complaining in like a sexual kind
of way she's just saying like he's just like a always wanting to like fight even if it's a jokey
fight kind of guy all the time he seems really funny um i agree with daniel cormier he needs to
like stop being in front of the camera so much it'd be more of a mystery because that's what
he's been up until now and now he just kind of seems like darren till's goofy roommate yeah i i saw him and darren
till just like they're like talking on facetime or something but it's getting recorded and uh
he's like you know cosmonaut like what would you do with this and he just randomly has like a 12
inch bowie knife that he pulls out he's's like, oh, I will do this.
And it's like, Jesus, this guy's psycho.
I don't know.
I like him on social media with Till, but I can see the other argument too.
Yeah.
Cormier was trying to make it out like they were gay or something on his show.
He's like, what is this?
What is this?
You guys are like always hugging.
You're like close and you're kissing.
And Kamsa was perfect.
He was like, yeah, I've seen you do all that with khabib all the time all the time you
and khabib hugging and kissing and he's like all right well but you know you know do you think it's
a good idea like he's just trying to like change the subject right away you remember when he got
luke rockhold to say he loved him yeah yeah it made a weird place but uh but it's it's it's been good i i i'm
i'm i'm afraid that like if like if dana white weren't in the sport it would be shitty i really
think it would be i think i think that he is the guy who's close enough to like what the people
want and like like he he's right there between like giving us and, I don't know,
the people who own that multi-billion dollar corporation,
and he's able to really shape the product in a way that's awesome.
And you bitch and moan about fighter pay all you want.
I don't give a shit how much money they make.
I want to see them beat each other up.
Pay them less.
I think that Dana White is not the only person,
or even the best person, at giving the fans what they want.
Oh, no. I agree they give the fans what they want by and large.
They try to make it happen.
Everyone knows what the fans want.
I can go to Reddit. I feel like I know what the fans
want. I feel like I could batch these people
up.
What Dana did is he made the sport
profitable and he grew it
at a time that that was hard to do.
I think he did that by
making a good product.
I agree. And he also did that by
keeping them in the black.
People, not accountants. That means they
made money. He kept the
company profitable throughout this period
of growth and reinvestment.
And that's hard to do and I admire it.
But now they are in a bigger
sort of already succeeded zone, in my opinion.
I think there's a lot of people who could make good matchups,
but probably wouldn't tighten the screws so much on every athlete.
I think.
I'm happy with that.
I think that if you pay them too much, they won't fight as much.
There's a reason we see conor mcgregor
every two or three years um you know because they pay him 10 million dollars every time he shows up
uh you pay him less is what i say they should i think you're right i've said that before i'm
sorry to cut you off i said that before and i forgot that point it if you make it they will
fight less and they will become prima donna you know who the best factory workers in
the world are the chinese they're also the lowest paid okay they live in that dark little dungeon
eating their cup of noodle right bunk triple bunk beds i saw them the other day it was great
i saw this video they had to use a flashlight to show you the living conditions right so they
they turned the light on and all these dirty Chinamen are in these quadruple bunk beds
in this God knows what
floor. They're all eating
cup of noodle with fucking chopsticks
and shit.
They're shying away from the light like something out of an
X-Files episode.
On the other hand, I can buy a backpack for $9.99
somehow.
Get that Amazon Basics.
That shit is so cheap.
Do you know about
this coffee cup?
It was a penny.
It was a penny.
You were talking about
China fucking sucking like that.
Have you heard of the 996
work system in China
that some areas do?
Tell me. It means you work nine to
nine or 12 hour shifts six days a week so nine to nine every day one day yeah so they still get a
day off hours a week so you're telling me that they spend half their time lazing about and one
day out of the week they don't do shit?
When you frame it like that, it is pathetic.
With work culture like that, they should be passing us by every metric.
Soon.
That would be horrible.
They can work harder than that.
You could easily do 16 hours a day.
And I don't know about this day off thing.
Depends on what you call work.
I've talked about how I work long hours
before and
while it was true, some
of those hours were live
streaming Minecraft.
I had a genius
programmer sysadmin in Australia
but he was young and he really
only worked if you stayed on the call with
him.
I'm sure the adult version of him is better now.
I'm not looking for any Chinese Twitch streamers.
I'm going to give him the lash.
I would just stay on the call till like 5am cause he's in Australia,
6am babysitting him while he worked and it's easy hours,
but it's a lot of hours and it,
so you can work a lot of hours if they're like that
if it's literally digging holes or whatever then you can't work that much yeah this is chinese
factory work i'm pretty sure like most of those videos i see with people getting sucked into
lathes and exploding that that's these are like chinese factories yeah i that one where the guy
is on top of that gas turbine or whatever,
and he's like goofing around with it.
And then all of a sudden he just like explodes.
I don't want to watch that.
I've sent it to you with no warning before,
but like all the pieces of him rain down like confetti.
And all of his coworkers are like, the fuck happened to Chang?
It happens so quick.
It's zero to a million instantaneously.
He's just like fucking around.
And then he's dead.
He's so dead.
Those lathes are really scary.
Oh, it wasn't a lathe.
It was some sort of like, it was like a big, I don't know what it was.
I don't know how to describe it.
It's a gigantic like tank of gas.
Let's call it that.
And then he's like messing by a portal
on top of it like a door and then maybe it ignited on the inside and so there was an explosive
fireball that was focused directly into him like the size of a manhole cover and he just vaporizes
and like the pieces of him fall from the ceiling it It's wild. It's probably a very quick way to go.
Oh, the quickest.
It's how I want to go.
Really?
Yeah.
You want to be splattered about?
I figured you'd be one of those leave a pretty corpse people.
Oh, no.
No, see, when you go in that coffin, they seal those things up hermetically and everything.
The worms can't even get to you, so you're just in there all petrified.
hermetically and everything.
The worms can't even get to you, so you're just in there all petrified. Did you hear about that mortician
in Cincinnati who they found had been
raping every corpse
for 30 years?
Is it called rape if they're dead?
Isn't it defiling?
It might be.
You don't rape a corpse.
Isn't that like... I made that up,
but isn't that believable?
That someone would do that?
That someone would rape a corpse?
Yeah, there's definitely guys like that out there.
You're assuming the corpse didn't consent, and I think that's bold.
You know how it just so happens that so many priests happen to be pedophiles?
I would imagine that the same is true for morticians and necrophilia.
And look, God bless them,
because I don't want to deal with that morbid shit, all right?
If what you need to get through another day
of sucking body fluids out of loved ones
and sewing eyelids shut or whatever the fuck,
if what you need to get through that day
is like cornholing some old black lady when nobody's around,
get after it.
And look, if it falls to me
to to to be that black lady you cornhole then then then then get after it you know yeah this
is why i'm choosing cremation among other reasons they can't get you among other reasons what are
the other reasons for cremation i think it's just easier on everybody like you saw that rapper this
week who had the funeral and he was like fucking taxidermy like chilling with his homies again that's upsetting yeah i don't see
that i don't want the xbox controller try to find us a picture of that zach that's my next business
idea taylor people are going to do lines of blow off my corpse for a hundred dollars a bump nobody
money in the grave baby i gotta provide for the family after I'm gone, and I'm gonna do it with my
corpse.
Jack, he's like,
15 bucks and you get half an hour
with the body.
I only
want five minutes.
$15? It was
103 weeks ago.
He's blown out now.
Check this out. This is his funeral.
He is dead. That. Check this out. This is his funeral. He is dead.
That is a dead body
that is standing up.
He's got a Burger King crown on.
He is.
It is his day.
Man.
He's in a club.
That's ruining everyone else's evening.
He's in the club there, but they move the body
to the wake.
I saw that body propped up and sitting down like they moved it around everywhere
it's literally have you ever heard the country music song it's like prop me up beside the jukebox
if i die no For those of you audio only boys,
Taylor opened his mouth,
inhaled, and like drew back
a pointy finger, leaned forward
and said no in a way that crushed
my soul.
I thought that was funny.
Just like getting you, no.
I was like, awesome, he's heard the song.
No, I haven't't god damn it i want to i want to find more images of this guy do they have him doing anything else because you've seen the
original i'm sitting have you no is that a different guy because there's the guy from a
couple years ago who was like uh it was a black guy who was sitting down holding like a playstation
controller but he was dead you know i had no idea
that another black man had been taxidermied recently um so it's possible um i saw a couple
images today and i just assumed it was all the same rapper who had been taxidermied and and you
know it might be zach see if you can find that image of the guy who's dead sitting down, like obviously limply holding an Xbox control.
Oh, by the way, that that that that little video I sent you today of the the horse going crazy with the guy on the back.
That was a dead body. That was supposed to be a that was that was like a funeral ceremony.
That was like that was like his last like horse ride or something like one of those ceremony type things.
Went poorly. He's like like grandpa's going gonna ride his horse one last time type deal and then the
horse went crazy and he landed face down in the mud um i saw that video that you sent me that's
that's actually better i thought that was a living person who was already injured and died
after being thrown from and i just say dude is looking pretty fresh. Like, his sneakers are brand...
Look at the bottom of those Air Forces, right?
Brand spanking new.
Brand spanking new.
His boys did him right.
He's got...
And I bet he's getting married with those Jordans or whatever
on that pedestal over there.
Oh, he's got...
I'm sure what are his, like, favorite snacks on that table?
Oh, that's sad.
Is that a Clark bar?
The fuck?
I don't know.
I don't think they make Clark bars anymore.
Do they? I thought that was a candy of the past. No, I had one the other day.
It's a peanut buttery wafer-y type thing. It's pretty good.
Well, I think those are Lay's original
flavor. Solid pick.
Solid pick. I love Lay's.
Yes, this is the one I was thinking of.
This is a different guy. He's got some
like, is that
blueberry or something like chocolate no that's chocolate chip crunch that's the cookie monster
uh cereal it's got that barks root beer there
oh that's my favorite root beer that's the best root beer got some got some nacho cheese
this guy was a man of class he's got his slides on like what's he got up there he's got a is that
xbox or a playstation i think it's oh i have no idea the xbox please i don't know he's got his slides on. What's he got up there? Is that Xbox or PlayStation?
I have no idea. Xbox?
I don't know. He's got his earbuds in. That's pretty slick.
We're looking at taxidermied
black people. This is
the new thing.
They prop you up like you're still alive at your weight.
I'm way ahead of you. According to these
two examples, it's a new thing.
Why are you ruining this for me?
He doesn't believe that.
This is a business that I have been trying to get into for a while.
I'm going to provide a service, a one-stop shop.
We will taxidermy your loved one.
We will have a fashion consultant come to your your home or with him you know to his
home with you and you know we'll go through his wardrobe all right gonna pick out a couple
different looks up to four we have a couple different packages um and we're just gonna do
a whole photo shoot uh and you know we'll sell prints of that but we're also gonna like you know
style him up at the at the weight in different ways, however you'd like.
Get creative with it, depending on what the guy was into in real life.
I know for a fact if a loved one of mine died
and they got taxidermied with their favorite things.
You'd feel like you're able to connect with them that one last time.
You stole the words out of my mouth.
Yes.
Yes, I would want to feel the lack of warmth.
And by connect with them one last time, we're talking about sex.
No, no, no, no, no, no.
We warmed them up.
So we have a system where there will be a catheter in the jugular and another one in the groin.
Okay?
And we are going to be cycling warm water through your loved one.
Okay?
For extra, we'll make it purple drink. Don't go to Kyle's cheesy business because I will microwave your loved one. For extra, we'll make it purple drink.
Don't go to Kyle's cheesy business because
I will microwave your loved ones.
Don't do that.
He gets Luke one and one
quite frankly.
That's what I'm ready to hear me.
I will microwave
your loved ones to the point where they can
warm up your coffee if you put it on their lap.
Oh, God.
This would be like a prank channel should do this where they're like, all right, I'm a rich millionaire YouTuber and my grandma died.
What my family doesn't know is when I offered to handle the funeral, we're going to do things a little differently.
Remember to like and subscribe.
And it's like her descending like an angel from the rafters or something did you speaking of like rich youtubers doing crazy shit did you see the
guy like jump the tesla he jumped oh on maybe it was a san francisco street yeah he jumped a tesla
like up you know how some hills are in streets how like he jumped it with a tesla going like 120 or
something and like plowed into some innocent people's cars
and fucked them all up totaled the tesla the jump was outrageous the amount of air he got
because you know this is like spaceships already they go so goddamn fast so quick
he got so much air it was i don't know he really didn't build up to it right the move was to hit
it at 15 to hit it at 25 to see what's what this guy just hit it at 15, to hit it at 25, to see what's what.
This guy just hit it.
Okay.
100 miles an hour.
Here's the caveat.
Maybe, I hope you don't know.
Taylor might like this.
It was a rental.
Hit it hard.
Hit it hard.
Oh, Jesus Christ.
Dude, that photo on the right is like a UFO. that is so much higher than it was in my memory if he asked you to ride along would you go
no i would 100 go i would taylor here's my question if i bought the insurance before i
rented it how do things work out for me if you don't show them this photo you're fine they know it became a real big deal of course yeah
they would the reason that guy did that is because a youtuber kind of put him up to it i don't remember
the finer details and they're irrelevant but the individuals whose cars got hit made their own
youtube videos where they're like hey i'm not a famous youtuber or anything but
one was up the street for me last night and he had some jackass jump a rental Tesla, like Batman,
and right to the back of my Jeep Wrangler.
So here I am out of Jeep Wrangler, and it's just like, oh.
I think they got me some trouble.
I don't know what ended up happening, but I would absolutely ride shotgun for that
because I'm guessing.
Is he okay?
I bet he's fine.
I'll tell you what i
would do i threw on some some like uh some catcher knee pads because that's what always gets hurt you
slide and hit your knees on the on the shit and a helmet and you'd be fine maybe i mean that's a
lot of air oh i would have gotten more he kind of pulled it out he he needed to hit that thing going
100 miles per hour i don't know how fast he was going but
like i feel like he could have gotten more air like you're only gonna do this once you are never
gonna rent a car again after this there's gonna be some kind of a alert when you try to rent a
car in the future they'll be like oh there'll be a url with that video attached i try to rent a car
dude we used to like sit there on the little system when we were bored and look up celebrities names and see who
was on the do not rent
list. Really? Yeah.
Can I read this? The rented
2018 Tesla was
abandoned at the scene. There is currently
no description of the driver, police said.
LAPD said the driver
who remains on the loose will face
hit and run charges. There's a
$1,000 reward for anyone who provides
information leading to the offender's
identification, apprehension, conviction, and
resolution through a civil compromise.
Jesus fuck! They have a high bar?
If I just point at the guy, I want a grand.
Don't tell me you need identification, apprehension,
conviction, or resolution.
Jesus. But, um...
They don't know who it is.
The guy got away with it it would seem for now
i mean or i guess yeah that does seem pretty finite so definitive rather there is like whoever
rented it was associated with youtuber in some way and whoever was driving it was probably also
associated with the youtuber one way that was probably his jeremy and and so you
know jeremy thing and then left as he was always going to uh and they got their fucking clip i
don't know how many views that has um i don't know if it provided any bad will toward him as a youtuber
but pretty badass if you ask me to jump that fucking thing when you said that they were going
to jump the car have you seen those videos of people
letting a car speed towards them and then they try and jump over it there are some really cool
videos of that but i saw one recently it was with the tesla that's what i thought you were talking
about where the guy jumps way too late and like gets flipped and clipped like both shins broken
prop like could have died i tried you kind of deserve
it i wanted to do that in a video one time but i wanted to like run up the front of an uh of a car
um like the car was going to drive at me and i was going to run in the car and i was going to
try to time it right so i could take like two steps so i wanted to like step on the hood with
one step and then maybe one more and just jump and let the car go under me.
Stupid idea.
I know,
but you know,
we're making a YouTube video.
I'm going to get paid a lot of money.
So let's,
let's try some break a leg.
It would be worth it.
We get a cool shot of it.
And that's when Jeremy went and like took my test car and did donuts and like the dirty fuel got mixed in and went into and stopped up the fuel
filter.
And now we didn't have a car.
So I,
I took his
car away from him and we blew up his car that day that that was that time and by his car i mean
my car that i had lended to him on a permanent basis that'll show him it did show him then i
had to go pick him up when i needed him to work for me. Showed him good. Did you get him a new car?
Fuck no, I didn't get him a new car.
I had to blow up my... I had paid like $3,500 for that
thing.
Oh, Kyle, you just muted yourself.
Yeah.
Or maybe he
maybe when he touched the
mic or something.
Yeah. No no it was that was it was almost worth it um you know for him to like fuck up the initial car i was gonna blow up
to see the look on his face when i was like all right get your shit out of my car get your shit
out of the pathfinder he's like we're blowing that fucking car up today you know what i'm you know what we're doing we
were working for a movie for like white house down or something like that or the discovery
channel or something i'm like today's film day we're blowing the fucking car up now you don't
have a car find somebody to get you back to your house after this it was it was almost worth it um
we lost the car um the the authorities actually took that car and tested it for high
explosives um that that car explosion is a big part of what like got me on the radar with them
in some way because it was so fiery and beautiful i did such a good job with that explosion i believe
the pathfinder explosion yeah that was a good one one. We got that big orange bright fireball.
It was pretty.
But I guess it looked like high explosives to some people.
It was Tannerite.
Probably they weren't.
Oh.
It was 100% Tannerite.
I know exactly how much and exactly how much diesel and gasoline I used.
I remember well.
In any case, because we had the Pathfinder,
I still wanted to try the thing where I ran up the hood.
But it was a fucking SUV.
So instead, I took one step off the bumper and tripped and rolled into the windshield with my
back broke the windshield and the glass cut my back so we we we nixed that whole idea and just
i think we like faked it with some like um like we made it funny like silly like clearly we're
faking it now when i'm jumping over a car kind of thing like we just made it silly instead of serious i wanted to know before because i know
we're near the end last week kyle you talked about uh your new hobby you're gonna start yes
have you expanded your horizons to anything beyond the coding and the piano? Or are you still set on one of those? Hmm.
Hmm.
I'm leaning away from coding because I saw some people in the Discord have this overly passionate discussion about whether I would actually like coding or not.
And I decided I just didn't want to be involved with something as controversial as coding.
Jesus fucking Christ, y'all um uh so i think i'm just gonna shut up about my hobbies in the future and just just do it on my own so that nobody gets angry um i'll go i'll go buy a piano and i won't
tell anybody which one i bought i'll play it by myself that's probably the best thing to do until
you get really good and then you can blow everybody's pants off no i'll never share my talent i'll never share my my talent that i'm considering maybe starting to
learn my potential possible future talent oh i'm going to talk about this show um did you ever get i know you've seen the first three seasons of snowpiercer the tv
show have you started on the fourth season no no i haven't bought the fourth one yet you you said it
was good not great and that's kind of been the the nature of the whole show good not great
but it holds my attention and like it's one of those shows where the the premise and kind of
the limited structure they have to all behave within is super fascinating yeah like i like
those movies where it's like they're trapped in a situation they can't leave and you have to make
do with what's here and so that by itself drags me along for it. And Sean Bean, I like him and everything. I like Sean Bean. I think he's very good in it.
Season four.
Um,
I don't want to spoil anything,
I guess,
but I'll say the ending means that,
uh,
season five is going to be really different.
Season five is going to be really,
really different.
Um,
every,
uh,
huge,
massive gargantuan changes at the end of season four.
Um,
uh, completely different show. I hope they don't kill the main guy the end of season four. Completely different show.
I hope they don't kill the main guy.
Completely different show now.
A whole different show.
I still need to get a bad way.
I mean, we'll see. I don't know.
It's just been okay for a long time.
It's just a nice little sci-fi show to pass
the time. It's just
okay. I wish...
It seems like they made all their bad guys good
guys because they all have to live on the train together they've had to make peace with the bad
guys so many times that it's like we're all kind of just frenemies now like we all want the same
thing it's just who gets to hold the fucking steering wheel at this point and it's not and
we're not trained so it doesn't even fucking matter like like just just let whoever the best behaved little boy is steer the train the whole um premise of
this season is that we think there might be a safe place to go to but it might be risky to go there
like down on the horn of africa And they normally don't take that track,
like down into Africa.
They just continue through Europe, I guess,
and like past Egypt.
But like half the train wants to take this risky trip
to the Horn of Africa,
where it might be a little bit warmer.
And the other half is like, that's a death sentence.
We will fight to the death to prevent it.
So one of those things happens.
Well, I will end up watching it.
Pretty good. Pretty good. It's an okay show in general uh i like the cast i can't think of pretty white lady jennifer
connelly jennifer connelly's uh awesome so i think she carries the show for me i am i haven't watched
i'm like three episodes into season five of uh last kingdom yeah and i haven't watched an episode in
The better part of a week
I am losing interest rapidly
In that show because
Nothing that was really important
Last season or the season before
Is even like addressed now
It's just all of it is Uhtred doing
The only accent by himself
Demanding Bebbenberg
Be given to him for his sacrifice
for England, even though
many times I have decided
to fuck England.
And it's like, that's a pretty
good Uhtred of Bebbanburg. I'm gonna let you
guys out there. The uninitiated,
you people who don't watch this show, that's
pretty good Uhtred. Pretty good. You'll notice
who Uhtred is because he's the only guy
that sounds like that. None of the other Vikings. The other Vikings are like, hey Uhtred. Pretty good. You'll notice who Uhtred is because he's the only guy that sounds like that.
None of the other Vikings.
The other Vikings are like, hey, Uhtred, where are we headed?
We are headed down to Bebbanburg.
Don't point it out.
Yeah, I need to do a little higher.
No, no, no.
It'd be up to Bebbanburg.
Up to Bebbanburg.
Yeah.
We're still not at Bebbanburg.
I don't think we're ever going to make it.
It's the last episode.
Of course.
Of course.
And, like, it's almost like a video game where he'll be like,
this time I am not just fighting normal Vikings.
I'm fighting Ugnar the Slayer.
And then he kills Ugnar the Slayer.
And then Vlad the Impaler comes up and he's like,
this Vladimir the Impaler makes impaler makes like a bitch i have i have no chance against him and it's like and how many
times in that series can the the king of england or wants to be england be like utrid betrayed me
the last three out of the five times we've worked together we gotta use Uhtred as our messenger here
it's like sir
I don't know if we should send someone who has a foot in both
camps to be our emissary
to the Viking lords
and he's like if you ask me another question I'll have you
beheaded Uhtred is our friend this
episode
and it's just back
and fucking forward
they still trust him these fuckers in england deserve every
bit that's coming to them like he should have been excised a long time ago i'm glad it's over
and the back rationalization of like why can't we kill utrid he's a danger to our society and
he's like because we need men of action okay you have a whole army lord with many men who've committed
many actions he's like no no we we're not gonna get ratings that way and that's erratic loser
and like they can't even explain like what's so cool about utrid because he's not smart
and he's yeah he's a good sword fighter he's an okay leader but he's terrible at making like big decisions it
seems like and he's just retarded like he's slow like like he's easy to get one over on he's almost
never the guy who's like see those are the heroes that i like i like the heroes that are like
got a little bit of trickery little you know like yeah yeah you know like sure well he's not really a hero he's just a really cool sneaky character but like um who was um it's um in the uh the the uh the oddest the odyssey what's
the what's the king that's going back to his wife odysseus odysseus when he's like dealing with the
i like characters like that they're like most of the time he's not gonna like arm wrestle his
problems into submission he's gonna like
think his way out of them like when he told the cyclops his name was nobody yeah and that that
works and it's a more endearing character whereas utrid like i'm i was i'm like getting frustrated
at the show as i'm watching because it'll be like someone who's clearly utrid's enemy will be like
utrid you need to go to the Northern Lands.
He'll even talk like this and be like,
you must go to the Northern Lands
and rescue your fair maiden.
And he's like, but to do that, I have to
abandon England.
And then he is pensive about that for two seconds.
And then he just leaves.
Says fuck you to everyone he was previously
loyal to.
Each time for a bitch.
Each time. Just give up on the show if i'm being honest because you're not gonna like no you're committed
you need to know how it ends here's what you really need to do you need to pick up vikings
vikings is good but that's a silly one no no just the norseman it It's called Vikings. No extra letters or add-ons or numbers or subtitles.
Except all the I's are ones.
All the I's are ones.
And the part that says Kings is all bedazzled and shit.
Because they're all black.
The S's are five.
Yeah, the Vikings.
It's the Vikings.
All right, anyway.
Is this better than Last Kingdom?
This is infinitely better season one of
that is legit like almost as good as like game of thrones type stuff it's excellent it's very very
good tv i feel like i started this and maybe just forgot to keep watching thinking it was the last
kingdom oh i'll check it out vikings are a cool little genre that's the best i can seem like it
gets explored very often that's the best viking show um i don't
remember when it gets bad oh i do remember when it's bad there's a particular character um and
he dies and then it's like all right you can stop watching now they go on for three or four more
seasons with like the sons of like the main characters from the yeah but it doesn't work
as well um but the initial guy is badass his wife's badass his kids are badass like it's great can we
new topic speaking of badass heroes uh will smith has checked into rehab speaking of badass
what's he in rehab for uh it's a luxury rehab because he's having a hard time dealing with
the stress and anxiety from the backlash he's been getting. I bet.
I mean, I feel like he needs it.
I wish him well.
Shouldn't slap Chris Rock.
Everybody likes Chris Rock.
Yeah, everybody likes Chris Rock.
So I would say in the opening hours,
opinions were kind of split, but they have definitely solidified on Will Smith is wrong.
Chris Rock is right.
Yeah. Am I on target there or it is even yeah even jada was like like couldn't back it here's here's somebody who's wrong though
all right will smith in the wrong for the slap jada smith in the wrong for not sticking with
him all right she was stuck with her hardcore right he laughed at that i'm sorry he laughed
at the joke initially we all saw that
and people acted like oh he was not really upset he was being insincere and whatever no he just
knew that socially the move was to laugh at yourself that's what you do you don't get up
and fight typically every time someone makes a joke at your expense cool and then maybe he saw
she was upset or whatever he He decided to take action.
She needs to stand by him.
Or at the very least, she didn't even go halfway.
She could have said, he did this for me.
And times have been tough for us.
But I'll always know.
She could have made a joke.
She's embarrassed him in public so many times.
Oh, have you ever heard him telling the story of her 40th birthday party?
No, I bet it's embarrassing for him. Will Smith began planning.
He told the story himself.
So every word of this is from the horse's mouth.
He started planning her 40th birthday party right after her 37th birthday.
What? Mary J. Blige was in attendance she's saying um there was like apparently it was this like extravagant ridiculous thing with celebrity guests and and
and a whole thing you know what she said this is a monument to your arrogance she said that the
will something like that like not verbatim but like basically
that she she she hated it and told him that he was being like arrogant or something for like
for her doing it that is so bitchy and you know will said and she was right and it's just like oh
why why was she right i don't know i don't i just see something on newsweek here that says will
smith called party he threw for Jada his quote low point.
Like it doesn't seem like a low point.
Seems like based on what you're saying,
you spent a lot of effort and time organizing a party for her, right?
But it seems like she does not like him at all.
A lot of clips came out where like in one of them,
he's literally attacking a guy who has alopecia.
And then when someone goes
oh to the joke he goes come on it's just a joke like like literally yes but like he's on like
the arsenio hall show or something and the drummer's got like alopecia and will smith makes
a joke about how he has to wax his head every day or something like that i think that's you know i
think that's what those guys do. And everybody went, aww.
And he's like, come on, it's a joke.
I think I saw that too. I didn't recognize
that the drummer had an alopecia.
An alopecia, I think, covers normal men boldness.
So I'm not sure if they were...
But I think in that same
clip, Kyle, he made fun of
a... I guess the gay community
was giving him a hard time.
This was a long time ago.
He looked like he was an old teenager or like in his early twenties.
And,
you know,
he's there with like,
remember that guy who bitch slapped the woman in the leather jacket with the
number eight on the back.
He's dressed like that.
Okay.
He's in like leather head to toes.
And,
and back when that was popular and he's like,
so gay people people this is what
I want to say to you I'm
sorry that I hurt your
feelings I'm so sorry
for that like he was doing his effeminate
gay apology but
obviously mocking them and
it wasn't a cool thing to do I'm certainly
not on team Smith in this issue
I'm also aware
that was like 30 years ago yeah that was just
yeah i i grew up back then that was uh that was that was a will smith celebration of lgbtq
for the times like that that's pretty light stuff uh you could it's incredibly light you could say
whatever you wanted about that group it was on It was on Reddit as him being insensitive himself.
That's a bad example.
They've had better ones.
There's a couple of him saying some stuff.
I don't give a shit anymore.
Look, we all agreed he did the wrong thing.
I wish he'd just be like, is it a hanging offense?
That's one of my favorite scenes in Sopranos
when they had been ripping off cable.
Who's Tony's second in command um with
the awful hair that owns the strip club he'd been stealing the cable from the from the uh from the
construction site and tony already warned him about it once and he's basically admitting like
yeah i did it on purpose right right in front of you i did it yeah i disobeyed you and i took the
money and tony he's like is it a hanging offense he's basically saying you're gonna kill me over tony and tony's basically
said probably made about 15 17 g's huh and he's like yeah i'll have your cut to you tomorrow and
that's it that's it i love that fucking show so much i need to re-watch it i'm so sad that the
fucking sometimes i like the way they do conflict resolution on that show i was gonna bring it up
earlier but i instead quietly waited for my turn and it passed.
But they just sort shit out sometimes
real quickly and get to the bottom of it. I like it.
Well, it wasn't that show.
It was a movie involving gangsters. And you talked about
debt and it just tied into this scene where guy owes him 20
bucks and he's about to chase him down but then the the leader of the like the older wiser mobster
is like played by joe montana is that right yeah it was like you know what's that guy are you 20
dollars so now he's completely avoiding you do you like this guy he's out of your life for 20
dollars 20 dollars well spent.
Just let it go.
He'll never come back to you.
And it's better than beating him up and all the trouble that would have brought him.
Yeah, it's a good movie.
Yeah, he's schooling that kid, but his dad back home doesn't like it too much.
Played by Joe De Niro.
No, Robert De Niro.
Robert De Niro.
Joe De Niro, the less known De Niro brother.
The less known Joe De Niro. I found out I mispronounced morbius the entire movie review which is uh on brand for my movie
wait if it really was morbius i think it was yeah i looked it up right away but i didn't say anything
well i'm like you know what it's fine that way. Because Zach wrote Mobius
in the chat.
All he did was write that word,
which to me implied that was the right answer,
but he might have been like Mobius LOL
but it was text, so I didn't know.
Or he may have been trolling you. I believed him when he
wrote it because I was like, it's Morbius, right?
And then he wrote Mobius and I was like, oh, okay.
So you interpret the same way I did. He might have been trolling me.
I don't know.
He fucking trolled you.
Alright.
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