Painkiller Already - PKA 601 W/ Josh Wolf - Josh Changes Woodys Life, Sky King, Taylors First Diet
Episode Date: June 25, 2022...
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pka 601 with our guest josh wolf taylor this episode of pka brought to you by express vpn
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uh and yes blue chew and express vpn We did not prepare Josh. I really wish our code
was
jizz or something like
that. Use code
thickload or something.
Here's what I want to know.
Shoot, Josh. Who
on the screen
has used it
and okay, all of you
have used it.
Does it really look i've never been a dude who's been like i just wish there was more come do you know what i mean like that's never
been like so is it a situation where people who aren't aren't getting any come and they just want
some that is that is a potential market i i have gone through the journey that you need to explore, Josh.
I have done the whole, is this even a positive substance?
Why would you want more of this?
This is the thing that women complain about the taste about.
Why would you triple your load?
Now, it is absolutely a win.
It's cool to have pre-cum that is substantial,
that is part of the show
yeah you're really filling up those socks now aren't you
yeah yeah all my underwear by a local middle school where after i finished using it used to
look unused no not anymore now it looks like he has a uti i am discharged like a girl now. I'm not, I'm not, I'm not poo pooing extra jizz.
I was just curious,
like what the benefits,
like if you guys had done it and that's all.
I can,
I can spell the benefit.
So like the initial thing is Kyle and I,
this is a couple of years ago.
Now we wanted to just come a lot more and we thought that was funny.
And so we texted back and forth.
We were really coming on a lot of women on Tinder at at that point in our lives at that time in our lives we
were we were freewheeling and dealing painting the town you know and so we figured out that
it's not the amount so like the amount of jizz coming out that's nice if your girl's into that
that's good but really it's increasing your total orgasm time so like think about it the the primo
of your best feeling of coming is when it's coming out that's the apex and so you extend that time
period while you're pumping and you get a longer good feeling and so that's like the true benefit
of it is that you get a longer orgasm beauty of these is in the eye of the beholder. That's what I'm talking about. Now, that should be on the bottle.
Basically, do you want more cum?
And also, do you want to cum for longer?
Yeah.
Cum for longer, feel better.
More volume, more propulsion, more pearlescent.
Can I tell you what the perfect product for me would be?
Sock.
Coming for longer, but with less cum.
Like less.
You're battling physics here.
Yeah, you're going to need to do some tantric yoga.
I'm just talking about less cleanup, more enjoyment,
more literal, more bang for the buck.
You want like a spider orb silk web of cum coming out for like three minutes.
I would like to cum hot air.
A total amount of nothing.
I would like my dick to go and just like spider webs like a superpower like that like
i got bit by a radioactive spider and that's it or it's just it's just like outcomes like just a
towel you could i mean i that's in the works.
I didn't want to spoil that.
But I think we really hit it out of the park with this one because and you can tell when you say this, when guests come on and they go, they're thinking in their head, this is just some bullshit.
Come supplement.
They sell the porn stars.
Now, nine pills a day is what you need to take five in the morning, four at night.
If we were trying to, you know, it'd be so much easier for us if we sold a smaller.
We'd make so much more money if we told you to take one.
If we put 30 in the bottle.
Yes.
But no, it's nine a day.
You got to.
But it wouldn't work if we did that.
You got to want it.
Yeah.
You know what else I heard recently?
That.
The if you masturbate a lot, your dick
gets bigger.
Because you're using the capillaries,
the capillaries are
expanding more often.
Really? So it's almost like stretching
out your shirt. I just don't believe that.
Interesting. I think we'd notice
it over our lifetimes. That would have solved the incel
problem. I feel like I've done a lot of field research
here. We've done so much field research.
Now here's the deal, Woody.
I'm saying
it has to be a bunch
a lot in a row.
And it's not like
it goes from your three inches to
five, so it's not like a huge difference.
It's just like little by little.
This is the rumor I heard.
It makes sense to me. Old people would be huge, like trees.
Along those lines, wouldn't a vampire have a permanent effect?
And I think that it doesn't.
Dude, there's no doubt an old dude's dick in a locker room hangs longer, dude.
And maybe that's just gravity.
The balls might.
The balls.
I remember as a kid being drug into those locker rooms, and it was the balls that stole the show.
Without a doubt.
The balls are definitely beating the dick.
Especially when you're at testicle level as a child.
Why was I brought in there?
I was never brought into a situation like that.
I'm sorry.
Did they touch you, or did they just make you watch?
No.
I bathed him, and I got those balls sparkling.
Can I tell you?
Speaking of bathing old men.
At the LA Fitness, where I used to work out in studio city the steam room was well known to be a place where dudes went to hook up right
with other dudes and so my youngest son jacob got a job at la fitness once and one of his jobs was he had to go clean out the
and to wipe down the loads well he didn't know and obviously i'm sure newbie they always send
newbie in there right yeah and he's he was he was probably 18 at the time he didn't kind of he was
not hip on what's happening he came home eyes fucking and he goes you'll never guess what's
happening in the steam room at la fitness
i'm like our dudes blowing each other he's like how do you know that
is happening in all of the fucking where do you think i go every day you'll never guess how do
you think i go there for five hours every day yeah jesus christ there's something like and this is
probably wrong but when you're sitting in a steam room steaming and like some other like big sweaty
person is in there with you are you getting any of their moisture on you by sitting in the room
like they're suggesting that their sweat is evaporating and that gaseous and then re-re-convecting
on me is that happening i'm gonna be honest i i don't i think you're fine i think you're fine
i've always imagined that and because i think you're fine. I think you're fine. I've always imagined that in my head.
It was very gross.
I showed you that ridiculous personal sauna I bought, right,
for like $300 on Amazon.
I threw that in the dumpster too.
I was like, no.
It was a piece of shit.
It was one of those that doesn't even have a door, Josh.
It's like you lock your – it's a tent with a hole for your head at the top,
and then you just plug it into a,
I don't know,
a steamer for clothes.
It looks like an old,
when you,
you look like you remember the,
in Star Trek,
the original captain.
It's the episode with the menace with,
with who was before Kirk Pike,
when Pike gets like crippled,
he's in that wheelchair.
That's right.
That's the guy, right?
Yeah.
It's ridiculous.
I don't know why I bought it, but I thought it would be fun.
And it was like $200 or $300.
And I'm like, I'll use it all the time.
My own sauna.
And so you put a folding lawn chair down,
like the kind you'd watch a football game or a sports event outdoors
or something like chill in the backyard.
And then you envelop your thing in this thing and zip yourself up to
the neck and it's even got like a pouch for the cell phone to go in so you can operate it from
inside oh my god i nearly passed out the first time i used it never used it again like can't
you can't find the inside zipper you're dying like you we got one watch though you've got one
we got my my wife bought one of those infrared saunas
with the door like that you walk into yeah an actual door and real wood yeah
do you make your son what a waste of money
hilarious yeah no you know you guys died in that thing and they found me steamed like for a week
in that chair like what would have been left nothing up did i tell you guys we live in vegas
now by the way no how do you like that um i like it it's the most chill place i've ever lived because obviously we don't live on the
strip you know yeah right right but to be 20 minutes from every vice i've ever had in my life
is a dangerous place to live oh yeah are you tempted by the gambling you want to go yeah
what are the devices we're talking about well Well, gambling, and I love doing drugs.
And what a great place to go do drugs is down on the Strip. I just got some LSD.
I took some LSD the other day, Kyle, by myself.
I'm a big fan of LSD.
Is that not a good idea?
That's fine.
Now, Kyle, you know what I had forgotten?
How long it lasts.
Because with mushrooms, I can take enough other shit to go to sleep, right?
But the LSD is like, hey, dude, this is a full day commitment.
Like, don't plan on going to sleep for 16 hours, at least.
Jesus Christ, that's a commitment.
Yeah, but it was a good time i hadn't i hadn't taken
lsd in probably 20 years oh that's a long time how do you know for your other loves drugs you're
not very good at satisfying yourself or he's well i take a lot of mushrooms and smoke
there are people that do lsd like daily like yeah they microdose it i watched a thing i think on
netflix um uh a thing called the alpinist about this uh this climber it's not josh hanold it's
this other guy with curly hair and uh that's like he used to party and he's like yeah i just do acid
every night you know everybody want to do like one tab. And I want six.
You want six tabs.
That way you can go to another realm.
And I'm like hearing my own words come out of this guy's mouth.
I'm like, yeah, I like this dude.
We're a lot alike.
And then I saw what he does.
He climbs the scariest shit on the fucking planet.
And his whole thing is he doesn't even want to have been there before and looked at it.
He's like, that's cheating. He doesn't want the camera crew there that's also cheating that's not solo enough if there's just a guy on the mountain with him with a camera he feels like
that's a little bit of moral support so he's he climbs these things that are like a mixture
between snow ice and rock so he as he's going up these impossible like steep cliffs he'll have to
stop and change his fucking shoes out for the spikes or and go to ice axes for a while he's going up these impossible steep cliffs, he'll have to stop and change his fucking shoes out
for the spikes and go to
ice axes for a while. He's doing this on
LSD.
He doesn't
do the LSD when he climbs. Oh, I thought he
was doing all that on LSD.
What if you see a handhold that's not
I've never done acid, but what if you're like,
sure, there's some secure crap on it.
It's like the little areas where you can put your fingers.
I felt uncoordinated on acid as well.
Not to the point where I'm not stumbling and falling down the ground or anything,
but I shouldn't be climbing mountains.
Dude, Kyle, when you said, yeah, he likes to never have seen it before,
I'm like, yeah, if he takes acid, he's not going like there's no that's why i thought you meant he was taking acid no i was just kind of
like giving a window into his personality like like he he was like wild as fuck like with the
stuff he does um but no i like acid a lot i think everybody should try it because it's not a scary
experience it's um and that's what i thought it was going to be i was like intimidated by it
because it sounds like a real drug and uh and it was just kind of like oh look at that
i have a question wiggly about lsd right so my friend took ayahuasca which i guess is in the
psychedelic sort of mushroom family and it did two things for him. One, it made him think that his thoughts were all
profound and correct. Like they didn't have to survive the scrutiny of reevaluation that a sober
person's thoughts do. Also, it has something called neuroplasticity, which is to say that
he's sort of influenceable for the next couple of days too right that was the thing that he did
do mushrooms do that does lsd do that do any of them make you think that your thoughts are like
aha i figured it out this is well i can only speak for me and kyle look mushrooms
especially lately i'll take mushrooms by myself get my bed, pull the covers over my head, and try to solve issues about myself.
And I find that I open doors and I look for solutions that I wouldn't normally look for.
So my brain is taking me down.
really look for. So like my brain is taking me down. So, and I don't know if I always feel like I'm right, but I always feel the next day calmer and better. It's in happier and more well-adjusted.
Like, I feel like if I want, when I want to have a therapy session on mushrooms it's like the most honest
therapy session i've ever had and i end up finding things that i would have never about myself you
know one thing i found ready for this okay so i used to have kind of big ups and downs emotionally
right and one night i was on i i was having a bad day and i was like fucking i'm
gonna leave the planet tonight listen i just need i just need to go to work i'm trying to right
i took these mushrooms what do you do and about two hours in i was having such a good time by
myself and then my brain kind of tapped me on the shoulder and was like,
Hey man,
guess what?
This is the same brain you had earlier in the day when you were calling
yourself a piece of shit and that you didn't deserve anything.
And that what a fucking asshole you are.
Same brain.
You have the power to not feel this way by yourself.
Your brain can do that.
Like it was a conversation I had with myself.
Like I don't need this drug to feel good.
It's the same brain.
So if the brain can function like that with the drug,
it can function like that without it.
So for me, that was the biggest realization.
And anytime, dude dude for real now
when i start to fucking hear myself bad talk myself or feel bad about myself i just say yo
i choose not to feel this way right now this is not how i want to feel this is not how i want to
talk about myself and the mushrooms i don't i want to say it's but i do
credit that mushroom turning the mirror back on myself which is what it does you know and so
that's the best answer i can give you to that what was your dosage
i was probably at night probably at like three and a half grams. Okay. Okay. Not crazy.
Not like a full hero's journey, but enough to do some damage, you know?
Kyle, is that what you have in there?
Yeah, yeah.
I've only done mushrooms twice.
Actually, maybe three times.
And the first two times, I didn't take enough.
And the third time, I took way too much
and had a really bad experience.
So I'm not a fan of mushrooms.
Alright, let me jump in. I've taken mushrooms twice.
Both times, I forget the
doses, but it was the one or one and a half grams,
which is a mild dose. One time
it did so nothing, I'm not
convinced I took mushrooms. I might have
taken oregano or something. I can't
explain to you how nothing it was. Italian blend. They were shiit took mushrooms. I might have taken oregano or something. Like I can't explain to you how nothing it was. I think maybe Italian blend. They were, uh, shiitake mushrooms or
something that I took the other time though. I had a really good experience. I felt really,
I was at campfire environment and I wrote really good about the guys I was with. Things were
funnier that would otherwise been like mildly funny. uh um i didn't take a self-evaluation
trip like josh did although i'm interested in it i'm in kind of a fucking funk that i'm not happy
with it every winter every fucking winter i get this like sort of cabin fever like you know um
what they call it the season sad yeahal effect disorder. It's every winter. It's fucking June 22nd.
Snap out of it.
It is like the middle of summer.
You're halfway through.
This is the longest day of the year.
I'm like, oh, man.
You're as far away from winter as you will ever be.
It's all downhill from here.
I was close to winter.
I'm just like, how do i fucking snap out of this i'm not i was telling you before before you joined the show so um i hurt my shoulder a little while ago and i'm kind of getting back
at it i'm lifting weights well i added some exercises that i had dropped because of injury
now they're back it makes me happy i hit two prs in the gym today that you'd think that would make
me happy i got some chores done and a little productivity, sense of accomplishment.
And I'm just like, man, you know what?
Woody.
Kind of sucked.
How do you feel about microdosing?
I feel fucking open to anything at this point.
I don't want SSRIs and I'm scared of Benzos.
I was going to suggest carpentry projects.
But yeah, let's micro-dose instead.
Dude, micro-dosing.
I want to make a charcuterie.
Micro-dosing.
So every other day.
So say you did Monday, Wednesday, Friday and did like a 0.3.
It's going to change your world.
It's going to change your world.
0.3, Monday, Wednesday, Friday.
Yeah, every other day.
This is what I understand.
You can take Saturday and Sunday off. But it's going to change your world 23 monday wednesday friday yeah every other day this is what i understand you can take fighting saturday and sunday off um but it's gonna change your world now
that 1.5 dude is the fucking sweet spot with mushrooms because you're not gonna trip
but you're super happy and giggly i would i want to ask, how did you feel the next day after that 1.5?
So great.
But I was having my best day.
I was on, I do these motorcycle camping trips with my guy friends and we ride motorcycles off road for hundreds of miles and then, you know, rough it that night.
This is my jam.
So how was I the next day?
Well, we're fucking awesome, you know, because I, I, I might've been awesome without the mushrooms.
Well,
I would,
dude,
I would,
I would give him a run.
I,
I would,
they've worked everybody that I know that has taken them.
It's really been beneficial,
especially the people who are micro dosing for mood enhancement for it.
That is really been incredibly beneficial for people now this the
the next day of mushrooms i feel amazing i feel more clear more um optimistic about the world
like i feel amazing so i'm not surprised you felt good but riding on the motorcycle i'm sure i had something to do with it right right yeah but yeah i don't know my mind like i got stoned at six
flags what a great day and it's like well it was the roller coasters carrying the bulk of that man
right right right away so like i um i was i was just thinking today like right before the show
i was like i need a fucking happy pill is there such a thing as a happy pill there's so many i i yeah i'm a little nervous like i don't think pot is a happy
pill i don't think pot makes you happy um i think xanax maybe kind of might but i'm scared of benzos
heroin is a happy pill that's like if i understand right i've never done heroin that's like literally
what it does it just makes you okay with everything that's happening but dude opioid i think you've got your drugs mixed up a little bit man uh are you saying so heroin i'm not sure
if it makes you happy i think it's more who gives a shit about anything right now okay i read someone
described their heroin trip i've never done heroin and uh i just got so caught up in this. He's driving to work in the morning.
It's raining, and he's stuck in traffic, and he sees beauty in every raindrop on his windshield.
Oh, that's amazing.
How is he driving to work on heroin?
He does heroin.
He doesn't care.
Are you suggesting he's irresponsible, Kyle?
Do you think he was really on the way to work?
I honestly don't know much about heroin.
What I know about heroin comes from movies and stuff.
I knew a couple of people who had done it in their past,
but obviously they don't want to talk about that shit.
It's probably not their favorite topic.
So I don't know what it's like,
but I just know the way I see it depicted in film.
I didn't think of it as like a,
let me get my fix and go about my day kind of drug.
I've always seen it as like,
let's disappear into a realm of numbness for the breaking bed,
vomit,
drown scenario.
I mean,
maybe it's like,
just like with everything else.
If you're microdosing it,
it just has,
gives you a nice little,
Hey everybody,
microdose.
Don't,
don't,
don't fuck with those, those prescripts,zos like i'm from the midwest i have seen
so many fucking people ruin their lives with this shit yeah so many people can i add on to that the
thing is like yeah who struggles with heroin total losers right who else struggles with heroin
lots of people, people
who had pain, people who had chronic pain, who were just on opioids for some period of time,
who graduated to heroin. What you think you're immune. I don't think I'm immune.
Yeah. No one's immune. They made the company that made the Oxycontin like had documents released
from decades ago where they're like, oh yeah, it's addictive as hell. And we know it is. And
people are going to want it when they're done with their treatments.
And they were like pushing doctors to be like, oh, you have a little bit of pain?
Take one of these as needed for a week, free refill.
And it's like, that's how you get someone fucking addicted to drugs.
And then they can't go back to that doctor and get more always.
So they have to engage in drug seeking behavior.
And when that runs out or it becomes too expensive, then they have to go to the street
because they're going to go into withdrawal and potentially die
if they don't. You go down that
path so fast. And they ruined it for the rest of us
because now I can't have a bottle of Oxy's laying
around. It's so hard
to get Xanax now because these fuckers.
I mean, I'm just trying to feel
good on the plane. I mean, what's the problem?
All jokes aside, I'm a responsible
adult. I wish that I'd go to the store and buy a bottle of like serious painkillers in case like i ever
got injured like like if i ever like break my hand with like dropping a barbell i would love to have
the medication i need to like numb that enough to like get to the er and that's how i would use it
it really would but i believe that you would yeah i love that i love that low-key
that low-key brag about you just you got in there that you work out a lot you know if i drop that
dumbbell on my hand i work out every day so it's like it's the most likely scenario that i'm gonna
get hurt in my yeah maybe a motorcycle accident but but like if i get hurt it's probably gonna
be in the gym that's you getting a motorcycle accident they are gonna hook you up with something because it will be gruesome i saw a dude at the
gym this week dude his bicep snapped from here and rolled up his arm ah he let out this scream
in the gym and everyone was like oh and he looked over and there was no there was
nothing here here it wrapped up to here and i was like oh it snapped off it was the craziest thing
i've ever seen my god did he just i mean i'm sure he was like all right well my lips over
oh my god i gotta go to the hospital right now that's one of those things that heals well no i agree with you like who did that eddie hall like he had fucked up bicep for a while or one
was huge and the other one was all knotted up and gnarled who did eddie power lifter he was a power
lifter and so like when his bicep tore like it was a an amount of mass the size of my head rolling
up his arm and so like it looked like someone had buried
like half a watermelon under like a second dealt it was disgusting so that and the and a pec tear
are really scary injuries uh if you know for anybody that lives those are scary scary injuries
so gross too like i'm just imagining what that must feel like because then like like what now that his bicep exploded
when he flexes now i bet it like tries to curl up like a snail all the way yeah i mean that's
like cosmetic apparently it works yeah that's it they don't fix a different guy too because it
functions fine um it happened to um who's those plates? The UFC fighter who maybe beat Joe.
Anyway, yeah, I've seen it in the UFC.
I've seen it in other places.
His bicep is just as strong, both sides.
But it doesn't look right.
And I guess that's why they don't fix it, because it works fine.
He can still pull just as hard?
Wait, does it still function the way the other one does?
I mean, I read it on the internet.
Don't question it.
They must have reconnected it, and it just doesn't look right.
That'd be my guess.
Maybe. It could be.
I don't know, but they don't seem to fix it cosmetically.
Is there a warning from your body?
Like, if I was bench pressing so much
that my wrist was about to snap,
I feel like I would know
a good way before where I'm like, oh, this is too much.
My wrist is about to snap or anything like that.
Dude, I don't think we have to worry about that.
No, none of us are retarded.
We're not going to lift.
We're not training for the fucking Olympics.
We're just trying to look good naked.
I just don't think that we could tear up like our chest with 200 pounds.
I just don't think that's – I think these guys have 400 pounds or 500 pounds and hurting themselves.
I'm looking at your body, Taylor.
I'm not thinking tearing a peck is
going to be something you need to worry about in the future i don't think so no i need a peck mass
up here to help me out hey i'll outlift you man any day of the week absolutely any day of the week
listen dude at my age i'm just trying not to hurt myself in the gym how old are you i'm 52 dude you look good for
your age great for 50 i have this concept of the injury sniper he's just in the corner always
waiting for me to make a bad decision and to pull the trigger he'll just pop pop out a shoulder or
an elbow or something i this is how but but you hit a certain age where I exercise, but on the top of the list isn't let's get in shape.
Top of the list is, hey, don't get hurt.
Number two is get in shape.
Because at a certain age, when you get hurt, it takes you out of the game for so long.
You're like, do I even want to get back in?
Like I have a torn labrum, right?
And the doctor was like, you on operation? I'm like, no.
For what?
I'm not fucking... I'm not pitching
nine innings for the Reds.
You gotta make the majors now.
You can do the Tommy John surgery.
But then maybe you get that freak, like, rookie
of the year arm.
Getting elective Tommy John at 52 as a comedian.
You and John Smoltz.
Right.
That only makes sense.
I honestly, I did something to my knee the other day,
and I'm like, did I tear my ACL?
Because, you know, an ACL is something you can walk on.
Oh, I've done it.
The straight movement is okay. It's that side to side, right? and because you know an acl is something you can walk on no it's just it's it's the it the
straight movement is okay it's that side to side right and i did i it turns out i just sprained it
pretty good but i was like oh fuck but i was saying to my wife she was like what's wrong i go i think
i did something to my acl i'm not sure and she goes isn't that the one that that sports people
operate on i go yeah but i'll just wear a brace for the rest of my life i was like i i just
i'm not doing a lot of lateral movement and i'll just brace it up i'm like but i'm not an operation
at this point in time it would have to be some sort of life thing not like do you know what i
mean like so i tore my acl and i would re-injure it jumping off like a 14 inch rock getting out of my truck like i i couldn't fucking function
with normal reasonable shit let alone like ice hockey so i i had to get my leg repair because
it didn't hobbies yeah how long ago did you walk around with it how long did you walk around with
it how long it was probably 10 years ago so i'm 49 now i bet it's like 39 ish when i you had a
surgery for it, huh?
Yeah.
I forgot about that.
Yeah, I had it repaired.
You're like a bionic man over there.
You've had a lot of shit put back together.
Yeah.
From head to toe.
For people to know, your patella is your kneecap.
And they take the ligament from the kneecap and the shin bone.
And then with that, there's like bone on either side.
And they put that where the ACL was.
And that was my style of surgery.
That's awesome.
I mean, the technology's awesome.
Joe Lozon got it from a cadaver,
which seems even cooler.
He's part zombie.
That is cooler.
It had to be fresh, too.
Fresh cadaver?
No, well, of course it would, right? You couldn't take a week-old cadaver
and steal a 10-down if it's like...
They probably had to go in there and find them.
They just found the fittest organ donor in the,
in the Boston area and then threw it in there.
No,
it's just like salted meats,
Taylor.
It's not brain tissue where you're like,
it's going to go bad.
You can slap a ligament from last month in a leg.
I mean,
wait,
wait a second,
wait a second,
wait a second.
I don't know. I just want to go back to the salted
meat. Yeah. Are you saying that my tendons and ligaments are like beef jerky? Well, you wouldn't
want to completely dry them out like that. I'm more moist. Like imagine like a summer sausage.
That's, that's, that's what we're talking about here that was my nickname in high school i know i love summer sausage yeah i sent you that clip the other day of those those two guys like
they jump out of a plane together and like they transition two or three times between like
wing suiting and parachuting and i think they may have started off at one point like at one point
the guy is wing suiting and the other guy is just hanging on to a rope tied to him behind
and and you're unaware of just how many parachutes they have so each time they do one of these
maneuvers where they cut their own chute and just grab the other guy you're like how many
chutes do you have left and you know when by the end it's just like they paraglide off a mountain and then they have
a bunch of altitude they like drop the paraglider and now they're like wingsuiting and the other
guy's hanging from the wingsuiter and then he like let's go like you said there's a few transitions
and i wonder how much altitude they have left yeah they both start off with parachutes and then
one guy just flies in and grabs the other guy and takes his parachute off.
And now he's just hugging a man who had another both on one shoot.
And he, like, connects to him.
And then the other guy loses his shoot, too.
So now they're just tied together, falling through the air.
But guy number one pops a wingsuit.
And now they're flying together.
So he's like Batman with Robin tied to his ass.
And you're like, how many shoots do they have left?
That's a lot of redundancies.
But that wingsuit, I've never seen a completion.
Do they also have a parachute?
Because they're going so fucking fast.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
They eventually pull a parachute.
They usually start, they do that a lot from base jumping
and canyons and stuff where the elevation just keeps dropping.
That's when you see those crazy runs where they're like going through rings and stuff i think zero
percent chance that i ever do that it's like really zero have you ever skydived before no
now i want to skydive but here's the thing man i am not a when a, when, when I say I'm like, I'm, I'm not scared of things.
That's like embarrassing things. I think the word, like,
you can't embarrass me. There's not, there's, if you were like, Hey,
go do that in public. I'd be like, yeah.
But adrenaline stuff is not my thing. And so jumping out of the plane,
you got to disassociate. You like, like, like you don't, you don't want Josh Wolf to're jumping out of the plane you gotta disassociate you like like you
don't you don't want josh wolf to go jump out of a plane you want you want to you want to like
come up with an alter ego and he's got to go jump out of the plane and then you just don't care
anymore because he's the guy doing it and just pretend like he's really good at it that's psychotic
this is how i've gotten through my entire life there's another guy that i believe in who's really good at all kinds of things
that's genuinely very good what would that what would my ideal me do
oh that guy's tight let's do that like what would dimitri do at this moment
i do a lot of adrenaline shit i'm waiting for
this video is gonna suck for like the first 20 seconds but i it's my um i don't know proof that
i do adrenaline shit zach will show it he takes like a minute to show a video and uh yeah skip
ahead like 30 seconds because it's not interesting see where that goes yeah so that's me about two weeks ago i do some adrenaline shit and are you upside down dude
it's like yeah like a front somersault maybe go for 20 seconds instead of 30 so you can see it set
up but um oh yeah you were spinning for a long time yeah you get dizzy yes yeah when i finish i'm like
like a extreme version of carsick sometimes but uh but this is one of my hobbies this is what i
like to do and the way that i like get past the adrenaline thing it's this like unfounded
overconfident sense of i can handle it when things go wrong. Like I have this idea that I am a fucking superhero and it doesn't matter if my
motorcycle veers off the side of the road or my glider just gets all jacked up
into a bird's nest or whatever.
Like I've got the,
I've got the skillset to deal with this when things go wrong.
You have to,
when it's something,
especially like what you're doing here where there's like procedures when,
when this goes wrong or that goes wrong.
And you have to you got to be like a soldier, right?
Like using that muscle memory and training to like, OK, I don't know what your procedures are, but I'm sure they're not.
Later that day, that one went wrong.
I fucked it up.
Here I am.
But see, now, I wouldn't do that.
But there's a video online.
I wish I had a YouTube link to pop up of me eating a live cockroach, right?
Oh, like that's that stuff is like, not, I don't care.
Like a really big one.
Okay.
Like, like medium.
Okay.
Is that medium?
All right.
I'm assuming a pretty sizable cockroach.
I imagine he was a very small man.
Yeah. seems like a pretty sizable cockroach i imagine he was a very small man yeah he said he imagines you as a small man so he can't tell i'll tell you i'm teasing yeah no that's fucking disgusting i would rather do the need a roach i used to
i would i hosted a show called naked after dark which was the after show for naked and afraid
and when we sat down with the network they were like how you want to make this i've watched that
show by the way that's so funny to know that's you like yeah yeah that's really cool and so
when i asked them they were like how do you want to make this different and i was like well how about whatever the contestants ate i'll eat but i'll eat it live
on the show and they were like are you sure you want to do that and so the rote show i had three
options of things to eat and before the show they made me pick right and so i could either pick the guy brought like this giant blue
and it was like a magical blue like a harry potter blue almost like the color of the
like a caterpillar like this long way they're like iridescent yeah and thick right and so i go oh i
might eat that he goes okay he said but just know it's going to explode in your mouth. I said, what?
And he said, you're going to bite it,
and it's going to shoot to the back of your throat.
We all know what we're all thinking.
You're going to throw up.
Right?
Come.
Yep, exactly.
Obviously, the caterpillar was taking those dick pills.
But it shoots to the back of your throat.
And he was like, it's a lot.
It's a lot.
It's a big load.
And I was like, okay. So the next was your throat. And he was like, it's a lot. It's a lot. It's a big load. And I was like, okay.
So the next was maggots and maggots I was out on.
Yeah.
Now I ate them baked, but I wouldn't eat them live because maggots come out of dead things.
And so for me, I'm like, and the third one was cat was a cockroach.
Yeah.
And he said to me, he said, um, it's going to be the cleanest thing you've ever, you'll ever eat. And I was like, what? And he said to me he said um it's gonna be the cleanest thing you've ever you'll ever eat
and i was like what and he said farm raised they only get organic food i go yeah but they're in a
cage pissing and shitting all over each other he goes that's the bad part i'm like you fucking
if you can get past that yeah we clean them up
toothbrush put it right in my mouth you know what he told me
afterwards after he goes you know i forgot to tell you something i go what he goes i forgot
to tell you to chew it up good i said why he said well because the instinct for people is to bite it
once and swallow it right and i said yeah and he goes you know when you cut a cat a cockroach in half it
lives right i said yeah and he goes oh my god so what can happen is that top half when you
swallow it can still be alive and it can grab onto the side of your throat jesus stay there
i'm gonna eat a hot dog you don't want to give me a heads up on that pre
like chew it chew your food real well i did
i was imagining how i would do it and i imagined making sure i crushed the head completely uh
that's what i did and like held the legs together because i'm a little afraid those legs might be
barbed like like the way that uh grasshoppers legs can have those little yeah little barbs in a row
on them uh that's awful man i i whenever i'd watch survivor or um or fear factor rather
and they would eat that awful shit that that was always my thought like i wouldn't mind them
sicken the dogs on me i've had that done it's fun when you're in a bite suit and they stick
attack dogs on you it hurts a little but it's fun um yeah and getting drugged behind horses i remember
that that might be the first episode of fear factor but whenever they had to eat those goddamn cave dwelling spiders do you remember those things they
look like little land crabs yeah they're like front legs do this thing where they're like like this
and i was like no i can't because they would eat them like quickly and and they would be bleeding
from the lips because those things are so like horny and barbed oh yeah season one of fear factor
i i re-watched some of that with my
wife within the last year because you know i just remembered it being entertaining and it's like
wild how disorganized that show is where it's just like a 28 year old joe rogan yeah and he's just
screaming at some accountant from cincinnati like you can do it justin you can do it justin and
it's just like you can tell joe's like oh
like getting grossed out by it as well sometimes dry heaving every time i watched that show as a
kid i was like i remember like the dragon behind the horses looked like a cakewalk compared to all
of the eating stuff like every time they had to like draw lots for something and it's like you you have to jump off of a you know quick build building we threw up to look like
an old saloon into this net and it's so scary and you have to eat three of your co-hosts fingernails
and it's like oh do i get to pick no no get me the finger you know what else i did i put a leech
on my butthole
was that a treatment for a hemorrhoid was it a hemorrhoid treatment did he like so i also did a show for facebook called josh wolf's wonderful world of weird feels great and one of the we went
to a leech who she you know medicinally she was talked about how leeches are great right and um she said you know if you have a hemorrhoid this
leech will suck it out and i was like well put it on there it's gonna be funny right and she was
like okay you just happen to have a hemorrhoid at that moment because i carry on tell you so
you know it's funny first of all you have to i had to wear a diaper home because it keeps bleeding
but she asked me she goes you want, you want to keep the leech?
I'm like, for, for what?
She was like, well, I can't use it again.
I'm like, do you think I'm gonna,
do you think I'm just gonna put this leech on my asshole every night?
Sure.
So did it help your hemorrhoid i will tell you this because i put one on my asshole but i also
put one over my liver and i had been having some issues as far as my liver and cleanliness
and um look man i'd also been taking some natural stuff so was it the leech
was it the stuff i was taking but i got better yeah so like it wasn't the leech or explain to me
you said you were having some issues with your liver and cleanliness and i don't know what the
fuck you're talking about so i had some i had some toxins built up in my liver and I needed to flush them out.
What was,
what was the first sign of toxins in the liver?
Ooh,
there's a,
there's a bunch.
Um,
but,
uh,
discoloration of my skin.
Oh,
um,
and my eyeballs,
uh,
I was a little yellow.
Oh no.
Jaundice. And, umice and um the uh it's serious
yeah the leech look man like i said i'm up for whatever if you think it helps you know
let's give it to you you think my butthole helps put it on there let's see what happens
the most unbelievable part about that is that you found a magic
leech that fixes cirrhosis of the liver or something and you said no i don't want to keep it
well you know i got thirty thousand dollars a fucking pop for that thing
i kept the butthole leech just because i felt like we knew each other so well
you know what i mean like you already were sucking on my butthole leech just because I felt like we knew each other so well.
You know what I mean?
You already were sucking on my butthole for 30 minutes,
so I should probably take you home.
You'd keep the liver leech.
You can have the butthole leech. I wouldn't have agreed to the butthole leech from the get-go,
if I'm being honest.
But I guess if I were really worried about my liver
and medical science had been exhausted, I would go to, nope, still wouldn't go to leeches.
Your liver is right in the middle, right?
Like under the stir, like right in the middle.
On the side over here, right?
On the side.
Which side?
Right side?
Left side?
Right side.
Right side.
But here's the thing, Kyle.
Like, I'm not anti-doctors either.
I'm open to, if I have an ailment and you think you have something that can fix it,
I may not do it, but I'm open to listening. I will listen to all that shit because I will tell you
this, as I've gotten older, I've leaned way more Eastern medicine than I have Western.
Like look, if I get cancer, I know I'm getting chemo and all that stuff,
but I really believe that Western medicine has too many Band-Aids and not enough cures.
I want to know why it's happening.
I don't want you to just exit for the next two weeks.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, that's a fair thing where it's like, oh, you're having a lot of pain in your knees?
Well, I don't want to tell you to lose 280 pounds.
Here's Vicodin.
That's right. That's right. So now you can walk on your knee and destroy it even more pulverize it like you're fred
flintstone you know just destroying it at the quarry and you won't know until you need even
more vicodin and then you need more like oh speaking of that did you see that thing i linked
where um my friend got wings of Redemption's Times article framed?
It cost $200.
It's the link I put in the chat over there.
Show it, Zach.
This cost him $200 to frame.
That's how big of a fan this man is of Wings.
Look how nice the frame is.
Dude, my diplomas are framed at that level.
It's got Madden around it.
That's Madden.
Yo, he didn't go to Rite Aid and get a frame.
No.
It's literally like a $200 frame job.
It's professional.
For wings, this article.
What's the article?
He's going to put it on his wall next to his diplomas.
Someone fill Josh in.
It's a long story, that's an that we know that
guy he he's like a notorious internet troll slash guy who gets trolled and recently the new york
times did this article about um how he gets sort of quasi bullied online and and that sort of thing
and um it's kind of a big inside joke but but this guy's gotten that framed. I guess that's the long and the short of it.
You know, if he's a troll, I don't feel bad for him at all.
Well, I'm not going to go into the story.
People don't want to hear me tell you the Wings of Redemption story.
Plus, I couldn't squeeze it into this three-hour show that we've got here.
There's two sides of this story, though.
He can be a little grumpy towards towards his fans and his fans can hit
it right back and you wonder if the punishment's worth the crime on both sides what was there
i guess i missed what happened okay so like they are taking wings and acting like he's the uvalde
shooter or he's the um he's in ukraine or he's a journalist that just died in this thing.
Every time there's a major event,
they say that he's behind it
or they use his image.
They, of course, harass him in real life.
They've sent mechanics, prostitutes,
pizzas, SWAT teams.
They pose as him and harass children
and get the parent.
And then other people go and like report
the fake account that wasn't really him to the parents of the children so then the children get
involved in it and the parents end up making like tiktok videos like this man right here is a
predator we need to get this man this man wings of addiction he's a predator and it's like but why
him what did he what did he do you know so example, he yells at a guy he plays games with too much.
Right?
Like, I hope your parents die in a car fire sort of stuff.
So does that warrant calling the SWAT team and sending it to his house?
I would think not.
Probably not.
Here's the thing.
Asymmetric warfare.
He's a fascinating man.
He really is a human character
there are several documentaries that have been made about him on youtube that are like
over an hour or two if you search wings redemption uh down the rabbit hole i think you'd be fascinated
um they've heard us here talk about it just way too much but the reasons that people dislike him
the reasons people give him a hard time, it's so many.
And it's a span of years, right?
Because it's not like the people who didn't like him in 2011 are still around hating on him.
There's a guy who found out about Wings of Redemption today, and he's like, where do I join up?
He's like, wait a minute, you guys are in this together against him?
Sign me the fuck up.
Yeah, I'm new here.
There's plenty of guys who are recruiting daily.
It's like the armed forces, right?
There's been people retired.
There's Purple Hearts in the Whale Watchers.
It's a whole thing.
I'm going to go down that rabbit hole.
It's fun. It's fun.
Yeah, but...
If there were a museum, I could be the tour guide yeah dude
what is his accusation do we want to cover this i'm out of the loop on what what accusation is
there against wings oh did he say that i was addicted to um adderall oh oh that that now
what why what is the issue he has with you guys? He used to be a co-host
on this show, so we know him really well.
Was I ever on the show when he was
a co-host? I don't think so. I think you were
post-Wings, but he was on the first
like, I'm making up a number, 300 shows.
Something like that. He was on here for a
while.
And I know, he's my
friend, but
not all my interactions with him are positive.
What did he say?
I don't know what he said about me.
He said that you were addicted to Adderall is really all I know.
Yeah, that's what I – and the thing about that is like I've talked about like having issues with alcohol, smoking way too much weed.
We just talked about like doing too many mushrooms and humiliating myself at a Walmart.
I've told that story.
Why would I keep my secret Adderall use a secret?
I don't know.
I've talked about having prescriptions for Adderall
since I was a kid,
but I haven't gotten a prescription filled
a second time in my adult life, I don't think.
I just occasionally get a bottle
and then use it sparingly over the
course of like years at a time like taking them like on moving days and stuff so the idea that
i had an adderall issue was just comical um and like how would he know right like he's the guy
who doesn't know what marijuana smells like right like and he's all and like look at the glass house he's
coming from where his where his own brother is like the ex-con for like being a drug dealer
and his little sister was was doing drugs too like like they're all pill heads over there in
that trailer he lives in so you're saying he's like you've been accused of being a druggie by
a subject matter expert that's the framing i'm going with too
that just made no sense to me because that's the one thing that i've always been so careful with
is like not taking that stuff regularly i and like um i think i was saying like last year that
i think the best way to take adderall is like maybe once a week so that you actually it actually
works yeah yeah that was a weird thing for him to say just kind of throwing something at the wall like maybe once a week so that you actually, it actually works. Yeah.
Yeah. That was a weird thing for him to say,
just kind of throwing something at the wall, seeing if it would stick.
Yeah.
And I definitely didn't do it like during my last fitness thing.
I remember I think like mentioning that I could get a prescription to Adderall
for Adderall to Derek one time.
And he's like, Oh no,
that's like a nuclear option that's not healthy and not conducive to anything
good. And I was like, Oh, okay. Good to to know like when's the last time you even talked to wings
like we text like we text every day i can't remember the last time you even mentioned adderall
ever um maybe like a year ago i haven't talked to wings and oh i don't even know how long maybe
that night we played pub g together like six years ago or something five years ago i don't know i don't know his number or anything but i don't know
why he's like randomly makes up stuff about people like when he has so many issues on his plate
already yeah yeah what do you mean that's exactly why i did you know what i mean it's a it's easy
to deflect away to other people if you got if there's a ton of shit coming to you,
but let me ask you something,
both Kyle and what do you guys have talked about?
All three of you been talking about working out.
All of you are workout guys.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Can I tell you,
I started,
so I'm a two day,
I'm a two,
I work out twice a day.
I'm a bit,
it's kind of one, one of the workouts is like a day. Okay. Whoa.
One of the workouts is like a three to five mile hike I do with my dog every morning and then in the gym.
But I started Pilates.
Have you guys ever taken Pilates?
No.
I don't really know what it is.
Dude.
How is it different than yoga?
My body has never felt better in my life it's such a crazy combination of strength um and stretching and but like dude
you're using your entire body all of the time basically it's such a great workout and so different than lifting weights
and if you are interested in your core look in a certain way you know i've never had my abs look
like this in my life even in my 20s this this how long have you been doing it at this point
two months two months nice how is it different
than yoga because i know that's isn't that yoga's thing as well it's all about like balancing and
and i mean balance is about core right yeah is it like a more cardio heavy version of yoga
less well there's a lot more it's a lot more resistance
oh so you're like you're doing machines and things yes you're on the reformer it's the
machine it's it's crazy now look i'm a uh i've always been my addiction has always kind of
fallen back into working out right whenever i've jumped off everything else so i've tried
everything i've done a little bit of everything throughout my life. This is like, I feel aches and pains not there.
Like those parts of my body that I couldn't body.
I could never quite target with the weights, like the sides feeling stronger in your core.
And you know what it does?
This is the best way I can describe to you guys.
You ever get to a weight where you're, you feel like my muscles can handle this but my arms are shaking or it feels like my
all those the stabilizing muscles right that are needed to lift big weights
pilates hits all the time because it's constant resistance so you're always engaged i still don't
know what it is is it something you went to a gym
and did a classroom environment with like you and a bunch of other people i i go to a uh something
i'm on a reformer it's called the reformer machine have you seen the machine i just i just linked the
reformer machine hopefully that's the right one that can you pull that up so you hop on the
reformer machine man it looks like a machine it looks like a rowing machine i see it's a rowing
machine basically but it has other attachments it's it's a rowing machine except it'll oh that's
not it okay that's not what i look like when i'm that's not what i look like but that's
it's kind of that it's kind of that not it not really but
that's what they call the reformer machine damn she's working out yeah i'm i'm like flexible in
a way now that i've never been but the flexibility isn't a yoga flexibility because it's resistance
also so there's a lot of strength in there. My hips are stronger than ever been.
I can deadlift more now than I've ever been able to because of the muscles
around the muscles that I use in the smaller,
that I usually use the deadlift are so much stronger than now.
It's crazy.
You're still doing traditional lifting as well.
You're just adding in the Pilates.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I,
I,
I'm in the,
I work with weights probably four times a week. Okay. Yeah. Weight adding in the Pilates. Yeah. Yeah. I, I, I'm in the, I work with weights
probably four times a week. Okay. Yeah. Weight training is the most fun. It's more fun than
cardio. It's maybe I could see myself given this ago, but like getting discouraged when I sucked
at the flexibility part immediately from being so that's the best part. That's what kept me
fucking coming back. I don't know about you, but when I can't do something, I need to show up tomorrow until I can figure out how to do it.
Or never try again.
Yeah, dude.
Or never try again.
I'm like, yeah.
But this is like.
Like that's what I did with piano.
If you have.
Like a star.
What a prick.
Did you try to learn to play piano?
Yeah, my mom made me and she just lost hope after like two years of me not like just straight up refusing to practice.
You don't still have the piano, do you? Because we could swap broken hobbies.
No, I do not.
I'm not going to pick up guitar either.
That would be great if you had a piano that you would just swap them over.
You both never do something different
nope the yeah i don't know the flexibility pilates you kind of get my mind spinning i
wonder if i'd like it so you do it at woody you should try a class a class so i should go to a
gym and figure out if i like it well the so i would go honestly to a private instructor first, especially on the reformer.
So you know what the fuck to do,
right?
Okay.
They get to the right,
you know,
poses,
how to do everything.
I would do one or two in there and then I would hit a class,
man.
And like I said,
you're my posture.
Like when I walk on the street like that and basketball shorts and CrossFit sneakers?
Is that about right?
That's what I'd show up with.
I mean, you're going to take your sneakers off, but yeah.
Leotard.
Okay.
Leotard would be great.
Make sure just one nut is hanging out on either side.
Like a handlebar mustache.
What am I, a rookie?
You got a wet spot on the front from seeing everyone else in the class.
You don't understand.
I take nine pills a day.
You know,
I'm constantly breathing.
I'm brimming with pills.
I'm full of compounds right now.
Making up my prostate knots to work overtime.
My penis always has like a head of foam
on it, like a beer.
I think that's an STD though.
Probably.
Give it a try, man. I would love to know what you said,
what you think.
Yeah.
I'm tempted.
Cause it's like,
you like,
so I've been lifting for a couple of years now,
like hard,
you know,
years more than that,
where I like quit now and then,
or I had periods where I just did like lots of pushups and pull ups.
But as far as like a good push,
pull legs routine over a couple of years now,
I've been on it.
And sometimes I feel like I'm really good in those movements and the stabilizing muscles around it need to get a little more action so you're you're winning me over this will
make you your body feel a way it's never felt before that's all i'm gonna say oh yeah no reason
not to try a way that you've never felt before yeah i mean like someone could rip my fingernails
out and claim that like true i'm not saying it's good or bad i'm just gonna say you're gonna feel
different that's right mine's open so pilates is like prostate stuff by the way this is the
second time you've brought a fingernail is that something that you like is that what are you
have you ever eaten somebody else's fingernails is that a no only the is that what are you have you ever eaten somebody else's
fingernails is that a no only the ones that i take in battle yeah kyle's got a bunch of them
on a necklace that's my first move he clips his fingernails dude like a guy a guy on like a
medieval battlefield who sees the guy who takes noses and he's got like nine of them and he's
like i'm never fucking catching up i'm going fingers and he's got like nine of them and he's like, I'm never fucking catching up. I'm going fingers
and he's taking ten from every
guy. It's like, that guy's taking all the
fingers and then back at camp, he's like, that's ridiculous.
Did anyone see me take all the fingers?
Wait a second.
Did they take body parts when
they used to fight? Yeah, they would take trophies.
The Vikings used to make like ear helmets
and stuff to show like, hey,
look at us. Hey, Britons and monks, we're coming for you and look to show like, hey, look at us.
Hey, Britons and monks, we're coming for you.
And look at all the ears of Englishmen we're wearing.
Can you hear me?
Like that, like threatening them.
I don't think they did the last part, but they might have.
They definitely did.
Jokes were around back then.
Yeah, they definitely did that.
I guarantee you.
You think Tarantino made that shit up?
No.
I guarantee people have been cutting others ears off and going hello,
hello into that cutoff ear for thousands of years.
Do you think reservoir dogs, Kyle,
do you think like there were,
there were practical jokers back then and they were like, Hey,
I'm going to cut off this dude's face and wear it to dinner.
Like, do you know what I mean? Maybe not the whole face, but, but,
but I'm just saying
somebody made that little gag that was like i'm steve-o and this is unleash a plague of frogs in
egypt and then they just does that that's that's what the whole bible is it's just pranks did you
see that um this is a bit of a change of topic thank god um but there was controversy over the
the buzz lightyear uh movie that came out because
there's a lesbian kiss no did not i'm not in the demo of buzz lightyear anymore i don't know
anything about it i'm not either and and the worst part is i think i'm probably wrong about this but
i think they got the the guy that used to be captain america to voice him um but that's tim
allen's shtick right tim allen he's just get Tim Allen. He's not dead. Tim Allen was conservative, though. Like, here's my idea with, like, no information whatsoever.
Disney didn't want to hire conservative Tim Allen to voice Woody anymore.
That wasn't it, actually.
Not Woody, because Tom Hanks does Woody.
But wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
Who does Buzz?
Tim Allen does Buzz Lightyear.
Tom Hanks does Woody.
He just, it was a younger, the only reason they didn't go Tim Allen, it was a younger Buzz Lightyear. Tom Hanks does Woody. It was a younger...
The only reason they didn't go with Tim Allen, it was a younger
Buzz Lightyear.
Tim Allen has old voice now and he can't
do it anymore?
They just went with a younger... That's all.
They just wanted a younger actor.
I can hear it.
I'm in the age bracket that when that
came out, I was a kid.
When I hear To Infinity and Beyond, it's in Tim Allen's voice.
Like it's a very like that line is very much like the analogy.
But also it's like none of these kids really.
No, I guess they probably they've probably seen the original.
I've seen the first one.
They've seen them all.
I'm sure they've seen all of them.
That is weird to change.
There's a big controversy because there's a lesbian kiss between some Pixar characters at some point.
And I keep seeing these pictures of theaters in the US where there's like lesbian kiss between some Pixar characters at some point. I keep seeing these pictures of theaters
in the US where there's like
warning parents.
There's a lesbian kiss
12 minutes into the movie. Don't worry, we're going to
fast forward through it, but we might not
be exact.
Fast forwarding through shit that you pay
for?
They banned it in China and Iran and a bunch of other places.
Maybe Saudi Arabia. If bans your movie that it's not gonna make a lot of money at this point right
isn't that why they're trying to get the chinese market i actually don't know they're ground a
little more on that i don't know what were you saying who's been standing their ground disney
yeah like um i don't know tay, but if you were to tell me,
oh, without China, you lose half the world,
so you can't make any money, I'd believe it.
If you were to say, there's no money in China,
they just pirate movies, I'd believe that too.
So I don't know.
I know, like, because some of the superhero movies
and, like, some of the blockbusters
go gangbusters over there and make a shit ton.
So, like, it's definitely on the radar.
That implies the money's You see any Marvel.
Oh,
I don't know.
Have you seen any of the bootleg movie posters from overseas?
Of course.
And those are hilarious.
Amazing.
It's just like,
like,
it's like a,
like they'll,
they'll put like,
uh,
the godfather in Romania and it'll be called like fat italians
that's like how they do stuff on the on their posters it's great you ever watched uh like a
real bootleg like something that was shot on handycam yeah i haven't i don't think i have
oh yeah not in a long time dude do you remember not but i mean listen do you guys
remember seeing um the bootleg video the jesus versus santa claus no that's where the south
park guys got their start oh oh you didn't know they made you know the og vhs that was just passed around yeah yeah yeah
santa versus jesus oh that was in the south park document yes i this is yo but that's what the
look you guys are younger than me but like what do you remember faces of death yes those were those viral videos of just a vhs being passed
around right but the faces of death death was the first one of those that i remember
but that that's that that jesus versus versus santa claus was amazing dude spirit of christmas
that's what it was yeah spirit of christ i mean they did i think basketball was
before they started south park uh joey diaz i remember when listen joey and i were struggling
at the time and i remember when he booked a cocksuck i just i just booked basketball i'm
like i don't know what that is he goes me neither dude that's a great movie i really i love basketball i like it i like in the middle
park oh was it because i thought i remembered uh whichever one of the two does cartman's voice like
he did cartman's voice like making fun of the other characters like i mean you're so gay you
suck man like just and i remember watching back and being like that's just like the pre-cartman
like he just made that like his shitty person voice into Cartman.
But man, they're doing great still.
They're not doing great still, but compared to the fall off of Simpsons, Family Guy, all the rest of those shows, even Sonny, South Park has not dropped off as much.
Their drop off is less to do with the content and more to do with them insisting on full season story arcs when most of their hardcore fans are like,
no, one-off silliness.
That's what I would prefer.
I don't know if you've been keeping up with them.
They just released a new special that's another one of those hour
and something long specials.
I thought it was really good.
What's this one on?
Oh, fuck.
Cartman is so poor now that he lives in,
you know those hot dog restaurants that are shaped like hot dogs?
Yeah.
Yeah. And so the school bus drops him off and it's the walk it's the it's the most shameful walk of shame he has to make to his hot dog house and then he goes in there and his mom's like he's like
living in like a fold-out oven or some shit it's super sketchy and he's begging his mom to get
fake tits so that she can land a rich guy
so they don't have to live in a fucking hot dog hilarious and she's like she's like even if i
wanted them they're ten thousand dollars so without spoiling it he goes out onto a scheme
and tricks people into giving him ten thousand dollars shows back up with the ten grand and
she's like no no i never said i
would do it i just said you don't even have where did you get the money and so he gives himself
breast implants because if she's not gonna land yeah there you go you're not gonna do it i will
and uh and so he gets the breast implants and um and. See that's great. Just stupid
retardation. That's like an hour of that.
And then there's a side plot with Randy and his
weed farm.
Enough! Enough of integrity!
It wasn't funny in the first episode!
If you don't think it's funny yet, just imagine
when it's not even a weed farm anymore.
It's an allegory for streaming services.
It's not even about weed anymore it's there there's like let
there's levels to this that we're supposed to like care about at this point they do you guys
watch archer at all yeah all right so here's what happened with archer like when he went into the
coma i hated it and so i they didn't watch for like three years because they did like three
seasons of make-believe um
like because he's in the coma it's just like fever dreams right so all the characters are mixed up
one of them he's like a like crime noir he's like a detective and one he's in space and one he's a
pirate or some shit i hated all that because i watch archer for the world's greatest spy
and that's it so i but i clicked the other, and they just started a new season, I guess,
where he comes out of the fucking coma.
And he's like, all of his old jokes don't work because it's been like four years,
and they're not saying those phrases anymore, and they're not landing.
Cyril has been pumping iron, and he's like actually fucking jacked. And he's like a combat expert now, so he's like totally taking Archer's place.
So he comes out of his thing, and he's like phrasing, and everyone he's like totally taking archers he comes out of his
thing and he's like phrasing and everyone is like we don't we're not doing that anymore
i think he says sploosh or something like that we don't sploosh anymore we don't sploosh anymore we
don't do that no no no no so yeah they're back to like being a detective agency so i'm gonna
watch more of it now but to answer your question yeah i watch archer i enjoy a little larger myself i like
you know honestly if i was gonna tell you outside of i think family guy for me will always be my
favorite but what got me hooked on that shit ren and stimpy man do you ever feel that was
what i felt like oh you didn't i It was so dark, dude. So dark.
Well, I was a young kid.
I was like nine watching it.
That's scary for you.
I remember thinking like, I shouldn't be watching this.
I was like 14 and I felt the same way.
It felt gross.
Like, I remember like, like the eyelids were always like being opened up and stuff.
Yeah.
Or like, or like.
And they were always like, he'd be asleep and he or like or like cat and they were always
like he'd be asleep and he'd like open the other guy's mouth and like fill it full of cat shit or
something and you know this isn't i don't know who this is for but it's not for 15 year old me um
it was for me
yeah that one was fucking bizarre yeah i haven't even thought about it in forever
what else did they make was ren and stimpy who no it was beavis and butthead that mike judge did
like judge beavis and butthead was horrible it was just trying to figure out a format and then
it became king of the hill which is one of the greatest shows ever yeah beavis and butthead did
not make me laugh i didn't back up did you say beavis and butthead was so you you you were not the right
age and it was i never was my whole life it was so down it was i was and i'll admit that it was
groundbreaking and that it was like just a little dirtier and and the cartoons weren't like that at
the time having said that it was a little simple
right it was it was the same jokes all over again the same cornholio the same rants the same like it
it was a little simple to me i didn't love it so when they did the movie when they did beavis and
butthead do america they kind of stepped their animation game up and they actually had like a
narrative story because they were like on a bus if i remember correctly like literally traveling across the united states instead of what the show
seemed like it normally was was just them sitting on the couch like talking about buttholes
and and and i just i that got old so fast like like even like 12 year old me or whatever i was
when i saw it for the first time i was like you know bart simpson tells like five jokes before
and these guys are still sitting on the couch talking about buttholes or whatever.
Yeah.
And like pulling his shirt up over his head.
And I also found the animation like slightly disturbing.
It seemed like they were like really aggressive, like with the eyebrows and the like giant eyes and stuff.
It was too simple.
You're talking about all the things that I liked about it.
Josh, what's my question to you?
Everything you say, like all they did was talk about buttholes.
I'm like, yeah, that made me laugh.
Do you ever feel pressured to talk about –
when you talk about what you like and don't like,
you're in this industry, right?
You might know some of these people.
Yeah.
Are you allowed to say like, oh, I ran in Stimpy?
That fucking sucked.
It wasn't for me.
Sure.
In case you wanted to run ren like what's he gonna
say no i don't know who makes that but josh might you know josh would be like yeah yeah i made that
he went on to this and right now if i bad mouth that guy maybe i don't get in my next role no i
will tell you something right now i am under no illusion that i'm gonna get hired for any role so i feel pretty free to say whatever the fuck i want
but i will tell you this and i know this about me yeah i'm easily pleased in this way
i am not i don't go in with a critic's mind to anything i don't go in like i hope i fucking like this
i go in like hey this is how i'm choosing to be entertained so let me be entertained and i don't
go in like if i know i'm going to see top gun right which i did i know what i'm going to see
man i'm not going to see you know no country for old men i'm going to see some cheesy 80 80s i want to hear
some tom cruise lines you know what i mean i want to see all the things how long were you
how long do you get into the movie before they play the song what's that how long do you get
into the movie before they play the song? You know, the song.
In the new Top Gun.
Yeah.
I don't remember.
Oh, well, shit.
But I do know this.
I'm in for any Tom Cruise movie at any time.
And I'm going to tell you why.
As soon as he hung off the airplane,
I was like, are you hanging off an airplane for my entertainment?
I'll buy a fucking ticket to that.
Did you learn how to scale that mountain with no ropes and no attachments for my entertainment?
Yeah, I'll buy a ticket for that.
Did you learn how to fly a fucking fighter jet for my entertainment?
Probably not. He did. Did he really? he really yes dude it's all over youtube what kind of like like i know that
the navy like wouldn't let him touch the controls so what kyle oh he's talking about they would
dude the navy would absolutely be willing to like throw 10 planes into the sea after the
recruitment surge they're gonna get because of this i'll say this i saw tom cruise right now drive a formula one car and like so i
saw richard hammond driver for only one car they kind of played it up on how hard it is to drive
they put tom cruise in it and they're like oh oh i see tom cruise is already a race car driver
he knows how to drive race cars going into this.
And he's like,
he's not as good as the formula one drivers right now,
but give him a little practice.
And he could be.
These dude pulled G's on their faces.
Hey,
I'm,
if you're doing that for my entertainment,
I'm buying the ticket.
You have earned the ticket.
And so I I'm on board for that stuff,
dude.
But,
but for me,
like I want to enjoy my entertainment,
right?
So that's the attitude I go in with,
which is look,
I know what it takes,
not just to write something,
not just to find someone to make it.
And then to get distribution,
like there's so many.
So once you get something to the screen
i'm already 80 on your side it has to be such a pile of shit for me to be like yeah i can't even
do it because i know no when the movie starts i put on my white gloves i put on my fucking white
gloves because i'm ready to check for dust all right i want i'm going to inspect that fucking weapon before i hand it back to you make sure it's squared away but why because
i expect if i'm going to pay for something i want a very good product and i like looking for um like
like if i can't find any dust then that's the mark of a really good movie right or at least one that
i couldn't find the flaws and like especially technical stuff and uh and little like um but
continuity errors and stuff
like that like there's a scene in casino where uh there's a guy sitting in a limo having a
conversation with a guy out the window and his zippo is like moving around the fucking seat
like every time they cut back and forth the zippo is in a different place and i'm just like
completely out of the movie i will i agree with you on things like that man on things like that that you should catch in editing i agree coffee cups and game of thrones
we talk about game of thrones real quick because they're making a john snow like sequel
they're which in essence is just starting up season nine they're going to do season nine
yeah well that's the idea like there's no way to recap i didn't i
didn't know they're gonna want to have john snow and fucking that red-haired giant dude and the
wolf fucking touring the north of the wall and there's no way that that doesn't lead them back
to every single one of the main characters coming back onto the show they're talking about starting
the show back up they lost their shot what are they going to do just be like disregard season six seven and
eight no they're going to pick up at the at the end like right where we left off john snow's on
the wall but where we left off is the absolute ruination of the entire story all the lore all
the prophecies everything so what are they going to what are they going to progress from can't they
do a priest like a preaker like a priest why can't they pick it
up from where they are did they really solve all the problems did they seemingly did and like all
i know is what they're what they're talking about doing it's in pre-production is a john snow sequel
so that you know the idea would he's he's obviously back back north of the wall or at the wall guarding it.
So it's going to be that.
From what?
I don't know from what
because the wildlings all came down
and then the wall exploded at the end
because the dragon came through it.
Yeah, what about the night...
Oh, yeah.
He's dead.
Arya killed him.
Yeah, but I'd rather watch...
I'd rather watch Arya
traveling the Easterlands
with her fancy magic dagger
eating pussy.
I want it to be like
Xena, but with Arya.
Let her get
a little Gabriela type character,
like an even younger
blonde chick with long hair who's not as butch
and let them tour around
the unexplored lands or wherever they were going to if i was gonna see a spinoff
from one person that's who i would want to see the spinoff from too i don't need to see the
eating pussy because i got the internet but uh i can see the really fuzzy you know i i have the
same opinion as Josh in that
because they'll be like,
oh, the tits and the pussy and everything
and the nudity and this.
I'm like, dude, it's an action show.
Like, take that out and put more swords
and battles and like charges of horses
like that.
You're so wrong.
You're so wrong.
You're so wrong.
I may be on the wrong side of the table.
You're an imbecile, Taylor.
That's like saying you don't want to.
Taylor, you know nothing about good television.
I want the women to get their tits out
and I want the dudes
to get their fucking guns out,
all right?
Because both things impress me.
It means that you fucking
put the time and effort in
to look like,
I don't know,
a mid-century fuck show
or a...
There should be
a tremendous amount
of shirtless men, yes.
What are they called?
Munchkins or something?
What is that thing called
that gives them the pubic hair?
Oh, a Merkin.
A Merkin.
Look, I was 80% right.
Don't laugh at me.
You put a Munchkin down there.
That's hilarious.
Dude, Munchkins, Merkins.
Woody, stay with the first one.
I think Munchkin way better than Merkin.
Put a Munchkin in there and get the Merkins out.
I want to really commit to this, right?
It's a union job.
These Merkins are basically covering the goods.
If you want to impress me game
of thrones you got to top your old self you have to always keep them i want to see labia
i want to see vagina
you name your munchkin merkin and you have merkin the munchkin and murkin the munchkin is also a wizard so he pops out of
people's pants and he can cast spells on you yeah well that's just silly i don't think that's silly
i think it's a decent idea a murkin man who lives in your pants no but thank you i'll say this like
there was some show that like popped up on my radar the other day and then at the top it said
that it was produced by um what's his name gr g george rr
martin yeah and i immediately was like no no i can't believe he's producing video games and tv
shows and he still hasn't finished his goddamn book less than i do there's no way he's doing it
how about how about this kyle is a good little spin-off it's like a different flavor of westeros
hot pie bleached hair he's the guy fieri Westeros. He's introducing us to the flavors of the entire region.
The flavor town of the North.
But in the background,
there's tremendous amounts of violence and upheaval,
but he's just talking about-
That's all in the background.
Like you literally see like main characters
in the background.
Like Jon Snow walks in the background,
like planning a battle with Thorin and the wildlings,
but you can't hear any of it
because Hot Pie is telling you how to make the most
delicious honey Dora Mouse
exactly
that'd be a better show
they should have pivoted to that in the last two seasons
would have been a better show
I'd watch 30 minutes of that every day
every day
if there was one
if you could think of one TV character this is gonna be a tough
question for you guys to answer off the top of my head you can think of one tv character where
you're like man that show ended but i'd like to see what he's doing now or i'd like to see what
she's doing now it can you think of one where you're like, that is one character that would love to see a spin off.
What's that?
Maybe,
maybe in a couple,
this is so recent.
So,
you know,
recency bias,
I could see in a few years they could do something entertaining with Ozark,
do another little Ozark season or something.
Cause they left that open ended and there's still a lot of potential content
there.
And then like a lot of the other stuff,
a lot of the shows i like
are shows that didn't end so like the simpsons end please end like i so i i want that to to be
done that should have ended 20 years ago probably but yeah probably ozark if i picked one top that's
you know what mine is malcolm what's malcolm from malcolm in the middle up to oh no funny crazy
little genius what's he doing as an adult now?
Like, let's circle back to what would he be, 40-year-old Malcolm now?
What's his career been like?
Is he still hilarious?
You know what actually happened to the man?
I know the actor lost his memory, right?
Yeah.
He doesn't remember making Malcolm in the Middle at all.
What do you mean?
He can enjoy the show.
He's had so many head injuries.
And he has no memory of that part of his life.
No shit.
That blows.
Legit.
I don't know.
It's pretty wild.
That's a really difficult question, though,
the one you asked,
because mine's going to be super nerdy.
They came back and did like Picard,
which is the continuation of The Next Generation.
And it has been like,
it has made everything that came before it lesser.
It has been so humiliatingly embarrassing
what they've done with that poor old man.
But I kind of would like to see what happened
with Benjamin Sisko,
who was the commander slash captain in Deep Space Nine.
In the finale of it he becomes energy and goes to live with the wormhole aliens which is kind of how the scientists view dying and then his soul going to heaven so you know it's two sides
of the same coin and he said he would be back so i guess that one because he's never coming back
you know because they're not going to reboot.
What about Pinkman?
Pinkman? Oh, I don't give a fuck.
They did the movie. They did that movie, right?
El Nino or something?
I got to tell you.
It's interesting.
The Better Call Saul,
which my friend
cast that show.
And she is a fantastic person.
And I love Bob Odenkirk,
but that was like,
I didn't give one.
When that show ended,
I was like,
I wonder what he's doing.
Like that was never even.
And I loved breaking bad.
And I saw one episode of better call saul and was like i just don't
i'm told better about killing it i i was into better call saul for a season great show by the
way i hear it's a great show yeah i just wasn't interested in him it had a dip in my opinion
somewhere around season two or three that it made it lose me and i'm told it's just come back and
it's bonkers now but um really i'm i just have picked it back up um it's been very very good
it it did lose me for a little while it seemed like he was the character was kind of in a rut
but they definitely got out of that you know with a lot of characters died in the in the last season
i like umbrella academy people don't talk about it much but to me it's you know just a room rung below the boys and stuff like i enjoyed maybe i like superhero
oh i wanted to to tell you maybe you know because you follow the nerdy shit i do on reddit um the
next episode of the boys they teased the name i think it's called hero gasm and and it comes with
it we joked about this maybe two weeks ago how how on the, on the boys, the warnings before each episode are so extensive.
They come up with a new one for this week's episode.
That's not,
it's like not fit for any audience.
Disclaimer.
Yeah.
No one at any age should watch this.
I want to get the boys disclaimer,
right?
Uh,
the boys.
So,
um,
the fans of,
I went to their subreddit and the fans of the comics know just how like disgusting and and filthy that universe can be they know about much
more hardcore stuff than happens in the show which is a little which is softer in a lot of ways and
so they're they're like calm down guys it's not to be as good as we think it's going to be.
Just get over it.
It's not going to live up to expectation.
It's not going to be like the blah, blah, blah.
But yeah, it's not suitable for any audience.
A massive soup orgy, airborne penetration, dildo-based maiming,
extra strength lube, icicle phalluses, and cursing.
It is not suitable for any audience.
This is a great disclaimer, right?
Dude, airborne penetration, dildo-based maiming?
Come on.
To be fair, I've already seen all of those things
take place in previous episodes.
Me too.
I'm already a little let down.
By the way, how is airborne penetration
not the name of a band?
It should be.
It should be.
Yeah, The Boys pulls no punches. i can't wait to see it yeah i haven't i've seen every season i haven't started
watching this season but everybody knows like that first episode is intense dude the first
episode this isn't a spoiler but i'll tell you the first five minutes has like five sex scenes it's like they hit the
ground running with their like we're uh not going to scale it back for me it's really like um early
early on there was when someone gets hit with like laser vision usually that cauterizes the
wounds right like in star wars when they get hit with those lightsabers there's never any blood every season they make getting shot with laser eyes more bloody like if you go back to
season one it's like oh that's a lot of blood now everyone in the room is so it's like the it's like
the final scene of carrie yeah it's everybody does that pull you out of it kyle with your with
your white gloves when you're like that is not a human amount of blood for one individual no i'm okay with that because
i live with the dead what did you say kyle it was like what how much blood what was the comparison
it was like the end of carrie when they dumped the pig blood uh i'm picturing like nickelodeon
when the pale of green slime yeah they just get covered i remember like totally buying that as like a six or seven
year old when like some fucking celebrity would go on nickelodeon i'm watching it like on saturday
after school and i'm like john cena's about to get slimed and he has no idea and it's like
and he's sitting under something that says the slime tower and like there's one green chair
and like they're like sit here like all the kids
are like absolutely losing their mind i was i laughed so hard at that like just thinking like
you got got and like but really it's like what some like mixture of soap and i don't know glycerin
got on you and it easily john scene is such a guy. We looked at that video a couple weeks ago
where he had gone to see that Ukrainian refugee boy with Down syndrome.
He went to see him because that boy's mother had told him
that the reason they were fleeing Ukraine was to go see John Cena.
That way he wouldn't be freaking out the whole time as they fled war.
John Cena hears this and he's like, well, let's not let him down.
I thought that the kid had fled to the U S and John Cena had like,
I don't know, went to Florida to see him.
He went to like Poland or Lithuania or something. He, he,
he went to like there to see the little kid.
Did you watch Cena's show on HBO max? Yeah.
Peacemaker. Yeah. Yeah. I thought that was fantastic.
It was a big fan of it he's he's
tremendously talented i like yeah yeah but i love that i love that new style of show where nobody's
really a good guy and you're gonna see some terrible shit and there's a lot of reluctant
heroes like i love that but i thought peacemaker was really fucking good and you you by making the dad such an asshole you humanize john cena
and whatever fault he had his backstory they had to fix him right away to make him uh relatable
and also someone you could feel sorry for and they do that from the very beginning that's right
nobody cared there's no family there to pick him up his cell phone wasn't taken care of he lives in a shitty trailer that he has to break into like nothing is going
his way and then you see his dad and how he treats his dad is like hey hey pop it's me
is it's good to see you is it good to see me and but his pop is just like i see you're here
come on in then like they treat him like such scum and you see what a piece of shit he is
and they also like right away let you know that like john cena isn't racist he's more like michael
scott he just has a weird viewpoint because he's been around pieces of shit so that they make him
like a redeemed character by the end of episode one oh real quick and and you know you in episode
one you start with a racist piece of shit coming out of the
hospital and you end with him naked in a parking lot covered in a in a woman's guts in a crater
and you just want to see more that's episode one that scene was super cool man i i was i was a
little like nervous just because yeah i mean you've seen John Cena in certain roles,
right?
But is he going to be able to carry an entire show?
Right.
Yo,
he carries that entire show.
When he started,
when he starts singing into the Hitachi wand,
I think that's when I was like,
all right,
I'm on board.
Yeah.
Like,
like,
because he looks so good dancing.
It's like,
like,
like he did,
like,
like he's talented in everything he's doing there.
Like, like he's, he's talented in everything he's doing there like
he's he's like doing um like bodybuilder style posing while he does this dance number looking
just tremendous in those fucking whitey tighties are you talking about in the opening in the uh
first episode and that no when he's in that chick's uh apartment oh in the apartment yeah
and when she comes at him with a fucking knife um i love his taste in music too in the show fire boys that's the name of that band yeah he's he's
like oh he's like rockin 80s rock but under the radar 80s rock like when men were back when men
were men when they weren't afraid to be women that's right no it's it's really good and i agree
i like this sort of like new wave of of like i don't know heroes or superheroes or whatever who
are just pieces of shit for the most part it was gratuitous this part into the magic wand no i
thought it was hilarious there's a magic wand in every woman's house I know. Like, it would be – this could easily happen.
I have sang into a Hitachi wand before.
I don't know.
This really hit home for me.
Sometimes a show just resonates with you.
I'm not saying the magic wand's existence in a woman's home is some sort of outrageous thing.
Like, I'm down to play.
I'm just saying, you know know grabbing it and using it as a
microphone seemed like they were doing it for my benefit well but i'm trying to get i mean
the boys is throwing all that shit in what they want people to keep watching to what would you
rather have him sing out of a a uh i'm sure somebody was like hey you should sing out of
that hairbrush and someone was like just go get the dildo.
Like, you know what I mean?
What would have made you feel better?
I felt like the only purpose of the singing scene
was to shock me with the magic wand.
And I was like, eh, I'm not shocked.
That scene to me was showing off his physique.
Because that was the first scene where I was like,
holy fucking shit, John cena is jacked i thought you're gonna say the scene was to show off his joy like he's so happy
to have gotten laid out of prison that that's what i thought the purpose of the scene i love
the the the the the conversation that he's having with her he's like you know i was having just a
a real shitty day but back there when i was inside your pussy i i just started thinking maybe things are looking up you know
he's left like the top secret like dossier in there for her to read
no that no i dig the show a lot and i do like the extreme gore because
i don't know i don't like having to suspend my disbelief so much.
I remember there was a scene in the Superman movie
that came out like 10 years ago that didn't go anywhere.
They just made one and nobody wanted it anymore.
But there's a scene where he lifts an island,
a whole island he lifts.
And I'm like, no, he just go through it.
He's a man-sized thing that's as hard as steel or whatever.
It would just be like a drill bit when he started lifting up from the bottom.
He'd dig through.
You can't lift an island, Superman.
You need a big net.
He needs to use his super breath or something
where the fourth one can be dissipated across.
There's not enough volume.
There had to be an easier way to solve it.
I didn't think he was limited by in that regard
you know what i imagine though i guess he's compressing the air like when he's inhaling
he's compressing that air at like a hundred thousand psi so the fact that he's limited to
like human lungs like that that the volume is irrelevant because the pressure is so great
that's how he gets that ice breath no that sounds made up i think it would keep the air but anyway i love the conversations where you're rationalizing i've definitely seen
him freeze a man with his breath before yeah he's superman he has all the powers that's why he's the
most boring character ever invented excuse me imagine a guy with no drawbacks yeah like yeah
like one of the first superheroes that came out with,
they overshot it because they were sitting down to write and they're like,
what do people like with super heroes,
superpowers?
You know what?
This guy's going to have all of them.
And then they realized we overshot,
but we can't admit defeat.
We got to,
you know what my major problem is.
And,
and,
and again,
I,
when I go back to like movies,
you know how I feel about it.
I'm happy.
I'm there to be,
have fun. But do you know the problem I about it. I'm happy. I'm there to be, have fun.
But do you know the problem I have with superhero movies?
Like say the Avengers.
So let's take the God of Thunder Thor.
How is he just equally strong?
Do you know what I mean?
Like when, when he's fighting low, not as powerful powerful superheroes somehow he gets neutralized but
then when they're fighting like this ultra powerful dude he brings in this huge ultra
powerful move why doesn't he just use that on the lesser villains you know what i mean like
i hate the fact that you know there are some superheroes that are stronger than others
but when you get to the movie
hawkeye is equal to everybody else and he's the fuck he's not a superhero he's a fucking boy scout
who figured out you know what i mean so that's that's the only problem i have like why i have
the opposite some of them are stronger than others right actually yeah like i i see hawkeye for
example and i'm like i like how they found a way to make the guy who's what I consider a low-level superhero.
He can knock a guy out with a playing card.
No, with a quarter.
You know that thing where you snap your quarter and he can knock a guy out with that?
What a loser.
He's a little bit superhero-y.
That's a real Donald Cerrone type character.
That is so embarrassing.
I had a friend in college who could do that.
You compare him to the guy.
He could knock people out.
I could shoot him, but I can't knock anyone out.
I can't even turn on the light switch.
He's in a room.
This guy turned on the TV and the VCR with the same quarter.
This is kind of superhero-ish.
It's superhero adjacent for sure.
That's a magic trick, dude.
That's not superhero.
That's David Blaine shit.
You can do it every time, goddammit.
But they put him on the top of the building, and he's sc scouting and he's organizing for the other superheroes and i'm like i see they took away to make a guy whose powers are really just bravery and archery and
make him a useful part of the team and what's like he as his super powers and he's actually
more useful as a beacon of information than i don't know military helicopters like he's so
good like he's useless there's no capacity that makes any sense for Hawkeye. Even like there's,
and I don't watch those movies.
I don't,
not,
not my thing,
but Hawkeye is ridiculous.
I saw the first Avengers and when they included him,
I thought it was going to be like a joke.
And then they started talking to him and listening to his opinions as though,
as though he didn't take a taxi there.
Fuck him.
If you have to take a taxi to your superhero meeting, you don't belong.
Thank you.
But back to Superman being a boring character,
I don't think Superman's a boring character.
I think he's written in a boring way because Homelander is Superman.
Homelander is Superman.
He is the all-powerful superhero who has every ability that Superman has,
and he's in a world where all the other superheroes are, like, lesser than.
That's right.
Everybody's the flat.
The guy who's, like, the Flash and the voice is fucking terrified of Homelander.
Like, he could just literally pull him apart like an insect or cut him apart.
Is he faster than Homelander, though?
Homelander doesn't even lower himself to running.
He flies, so who knows, right?
It doesn't matter because Homelander can kill him with a look.
His laser beams go at the speed of light,
so it doesn't fucking matter.
But he is the most fascinating character
because he's so scary.
Every now and then, he'll be like,
I'm the Homelander.
I can do whatever the fuck I want but there's like that's right you are there's a there's a childish naivete
to him sometimes that is fascinating to attach to such a to a dude who has such like he doesn't
give a shit about anyone else.
It's nice to see him more recently in this last episode in over his head in the board meeting.
And he gets embarrassed when one of the board members asks a like stock options question,
something very like, like, like black and white that like wherever my head as well,
because I'm not a board member of a global corporation. And he doesn't know how to answer the question.
And he's just like, what did you say?
And so he just has to deflect.
He's like, are you trying to say I don't know what I'm doing here?
Are you trying to say you know better than me?
And she's just like, oh, God, oh, God, no.
I would never say anything like that.
Never, never.
And it has like, it calls back to me to that old Twilight Zone episode
when there's that little boy who can like fucking wink and turn you inside out or whatever.
The way they like, they're like sycophants.
The way they're like, that thing you did was real good, Timmy.
The way you ripped that man inside out, it was real good.
His insides were cool.
Good job, Timmy.
What you did was good.
That's how they treat Homelander.
Yeah.
You're so afraid that
he will literally just turn you inside out for the fuck of it hey hey guys yeah i just got a
couple texts from my wife i think i gotta run i gotta go do something that is yeah thanks for
coming on we appreciate it yeah i'm really sorry i gotta cut this short but she kind of needs me
here is there anything uh you want to push or share with anyone they can check out?
Comedianjoshwolf.com for tour dates. When is this going out?
Saturday.
If you're in San Antonio, I'm there Saturday night. If not,
I'm in basically Florida for, I'm in Phoenix, July 1st, one show,
one night, two shows. I'm there with my son.
For those of you who like watching me with my son,
Jacob,
he's going to be there.
And then he's going to be with me all of July and August.
So I'm in Tampa,
West Palm beach in Orlando.
You know,
the live shows have been crazy.
Nice.
So good.
And by the way,
I have fans of yours come out to all my shows and my meet and greet every
meet and greet.
I'm always like,
I saw you on the show. The fucking great. We love it. Hell yeah. We'll check out all my shows. At my meet and greets. Every meet and greet. I'm always like, I saw you on the show.
It's fucking great.
We love it.
Hell yeah.
Well, check out all the shows he just mentioned and say hi to Josh for us.
Yeah, I will.
Guys, thank you so much.
I'm sorry I got to run, but I got to go do this.
No, no, we understand.
Take care.
Take care.
All right, later, guys.
See you later.
Let's get to Texas.
You see they're talking about seceding again down there?
I don't think that conversation ever stops, does it?
I think they've taken a step.
end down there i don't think that conversation never stops does it i think they've taken a step i feel like there's always a few politicians in texas talking about wanting to do their own it
passed like like so what's that i don't want it fucking passed but like i think it passed the
house like the texas house i don't know what that even means let me see zach just link something i
think it means they're like two
steps away or maybe even one there is no way the u.s would let texas secede it's too big of an
industry center uh i'm sure you're right like yeah there'd be a civil war but but what we're
talking about is what happens before that which is where we are now yes the pre pre-civil war
what if what if a couple other states pull away, too?
What other ones would?
It would have to be, like, attached to Texas, right?
Because, like...
What if it was one you, like, completely different,
like, came out of nowhere?
Like, California wanted to leave as well.
They were talking about that in, like, 2016 when Trump won.
But it was more of, like, you know, people online, nothing serious.
So let me me under a section
titled state sovereignty the platform states pursuant to article 1 section 1 of the texas
constitution the federal government has impaired our right of local self-government therefore
federally mandated legislation that infringes upon the 10th amendment rights of texas shall be ignored opposed refused
and nullified so they want to secede and i thought i read it past something maybe just past a
committee or something but like it has the votes and is the senate more sober sometimes in american
federal politics the house will pass any fucking nonsense because they're a bunch of yahoos
representing a small area but the senators they tend to represent it well they always represent entire states
so they're a little more sober in their voting than like how do they decide who gets which side
of the state you flip a coin which i think they have to share it yeah no no no like
i don't know i don't know you've stumped me but uh yeah i'm not sure like what happens if texas
it is possible to me that texas has enough fucking yahoos in their state government to vote to
secede if they do what now what does the governor do like they can go. There's no way they'll, like,
all the people who would vote for that kind of thing to pass
are going to be getting a call from someone.
There's no way.
A call from who?
Someone in the FBI?
Oh, the FBI of the United States.
Well, you better check in with the Texas Border Patrol
before you come on to our territory.
I don't know why I'm old-timey Southern now. I say,
I say, I don't know
where this bitch going.
But no, that
would be the attitude. Be like, oh, the FBI called
you from the United States. Well,
they had no jurisdiction here in Texas.
That would be so fun. Well, no, they would
call beforehand, but yeah.
I don't know. That would be wild
to see. At this this point i wouldn't put
anything past anything like there's been a million life changing like once in a lifetime
look look look we fucking diverted away from the prime timeline we are that ball that split off and
went to the right instead of the left we are not on the prime timeline anymore anything's up for
grabs i think china invades uh uh taiades Taiwan or whatever the fuck any fucking day
now. I don't know what they're waiting on. The January 6th committee has
my attention. Someone said something on the news today that made me look at it
in a different way. Here's the deal. Everyone knows people don't vote for president.
People vote for electors. Those electors vote for president. That's the electoral
college. Cool. Ele electors vote for president. Right? That's the electoral college. Cool.
Elector is a real job.
It is a job you get from the federal government.
It's like a thing.
You can't just declare yourself an elector.
It'd be like declaring yourself a senator.
Like, oh, are you voting on whatever, the budget?
Well, I'm a senator now.
They're like, no, you dickface.
Like, you're not a senator.
That's a real job. Like, we already know who the the senators are you can't just say that you're one but that was
the trump plan trump was like we're gonna put an alternative slate of electors on there and i was
like these are just regular fucking yahoos that would be akin to trump saying we're gonna put an
alternative slate of senators to vote on this bill like no you can't do that that's like kind of when was this this was uh on january 6th he wanted to have a different set of electors
yeah that was how do you how do you become an elector who makes you an electman i don't know
the hiring process for an elector but i can tell you that they're chosen in advance to do the job
clinton's pick them i imagine whoever picks them, it's fucking shady.
Everything's shady.
I don't know.
I don't know anything about that, but I'll say...
They vote the way that they're supposed to,
so they must be a little nonpartisan
and they just obey the will of the voters.
They can't be total jackasses.
Seems like the least partisan part of the process
because they kind of just do what they're told.
Thank you.
But Trump was like,
hey, I know we have electors chosen and hired
to do this stupid little ceremony thing but i'm going to bring in my own electors that don't obey
the will of the people that are loyal to me and it's like whoa you can't just do that you can't
just like replace the senators with your own badge and that was what he was doing and it's like that's
fucking state coup shit i think that he was just clearly trying to send it back to the states
because they had fraudulently misdiagnosed the situation.
At least that's what the emails that I've been sent from the Trump campaign would allege.
I'll say this.
So when it happened, I watched the news.
I saw it happen, but I really didn't think it was as bad as everyone
was making it out to be i thought that when they were talking about insurrection and a coup that
they were blowing things out of proportion as news medias want to do on both sides all the time it's
always the end of the fucking world um like the only time it's been true is this last time with
the pandemic but most of the time it's it's
it's uh crying wolf it was a big deal to me i'm sorry finish you know yeah so i watched like a 20
minute video on uh on reddit and it was so much stuff that i had never seen before and there's a
part where like i don't think it's the proud boys it's some other like militant type group but like
you can see them like something like. But you can see them.
Something like that.
But you can see them when they start moving through the crowd.
They've all got their right hand on the guy in front of them's right shoulder.
They're all wearing matching tactical gear, and it's good shit.
And they're moving through that crowd like a snake.
And it's like, oh, shit.
I think these boys have a fucking mission.
Do they get in?
Yes, everybody got in. Anyone who wanted in could get in and i mean like within they ended up being i i don't
know if it's 40 feet or 40 meters that that's left me from like uh from pence from like the the the
from them escaping pence is like underneath in a fucking catacomb for a lot of it. And and they want him to get in the car.
And he's like, if I get in that car, you're going to leave.
He's like, no, sir, I work for you.
He's like, you work for me, but you're not driving the car.
If I get in that car, you're going to take me out of the out of the Capitol.
And I will not let the American people see me like driven from the Capitol.
They will not see that happen
to the vice president i'm going to stay here and certify this and he stayed down there like
with flashlights and the photos that i've seen and did the paperwork and uh before they left
yeah it's well i mean that would have been horrible bad for him to get like they're they're
chanting for nancy pelosi and and like i saw a mega care i'll call her a
maga karen but and and she was going one on three with the capitol police and winning
because every time they sort of reached toward her to push she was indignant how dare you touch me
but then she fucking like speak to the manager no she went home for them and like, get back away from me.
I'm getting in there.
I'm after Pelosi.
And they're like, ma'am, stay back.
And she's like, how dare you move aggressively toward me,
you piece of shit.
And she's like backing them down.
And she's got like so many like MAGA boys behind her.
They're just pushing.
And you can see them on the radios.
They're like, we need more men. We need more and they're they're having a club fight with these people like the
cop has a shield in a club but these people don't mind taking a clubbing or two they close the
distance they grab the club and then their buddy comes in and helps them and they rested away from
the guy and push him on his ass because he's wearing so much gear and now now his buddies are like get john get john because john's turtled up and the manga boys are throwing him a vicious beating
jesus christ i had never seen any of that and i'm saying that like i haven't seen that either
but i'm it really what it was is i was blown away that i didn't know that any of that had
fucking happened because i just never seen it they never showed that shit on cnn it's not like i was
watching fox news with my head like i see a lot of the same footage that cop getting squished in
the door screaming in pain it seems like maybe over exaggerating the pain right like i see that
all the time i think i lost an eye though you know you made a lot of noise for one eye i've never
there's a cop he's got brown hair he
looks like he's maybe 28 or so and he was like it seemed like they were closing a door on him i could
be wrong on that and he was just crying in pain and and begging for mercy and he wasn't getting
any from the maga crowd yeah i saw varying uh degrees violence. Sometimes it seemed like a party environment.
Yep.
Guys who were not violent.
They were like partiers.
Like, woo-hoo!
That's what they showed as it was happening.
Those were the videos where it was like,
that was the video where the doors opened
and a bunch of people went in like it was a frat party.
Some people obeyed the velvet lines.
Whoa, we're going to obey the velvet lines.
And other people were like, I'm going to go put my feet on a desk i'm gonna lift this thing up i'm gonna
make a silly face on camera and then like that's what they should have showed they're wearing this
costume stuff and i didn't take them seriously at all and i remember people be and like the line
that maybe the news media took was like can you believe that they stepped foot on this hallowed
ground or whatever and i was like i hope shit
i don't care about your hollowed fucking like that that's not mine yeah the fact is they wouldn't let
they're not gonna let me tour that fucking building and see the beautiful architecture
that's for some that's for some special people clearly there's um yeah i'm trying to remember
the guy's name one of the members of the house representative gave some of the leaders of the Magari
a tour ahead of time.
And you think, well, I mean, how damning
is that really? The guy's taking
pictures of shit that a
tourist wouldn't typically be interested in.
Where the security centers are.
How the hallways are. These were not like
pictures and like how
this was like behind
the scenes how to get to different places uh they do that they were there to kill that they were
there to kill nancy pelosi and and mike pence no no like the fbi confidential informant uh that
told them that they were there to kill mike pence if they could have gotten him they'd have killed him i believe this representative person gave tours to leaders of the insurrection and they were taking pictures
and it's called on security camera of things that tourists wouldn't be interested in they
were planning the attack the next day with the aid of a house of representative members that
makes more sense i thought you meant like they went on the little white house tour and they
were taking photos i'm like i can't imagine they're walking you next to
the the football but yeah so someone like a maga guy basically brought them in prior
and walked them around to and like secretly yeah yeah well a member of house representatives so
this is like a republican a federally elected you know gave tours to leaders so that they could
better plan their insurrection the next day. And these guys are taking pictures of like security stations. What happened to that?
It's going, it's only recently been exposed. I heard about it like today or yesterday.
It always takes so much more time for stuff to come out. Sometimes it does where it's like,
all right, I got a good handle on this. And then three years later, something comes out and you're
like, oh no, I'm 100% wrong on that.
And as far as those gallows go,
they keep showing the picture of those gallows there, like making it out like that's such a big deal.
How many effigies of Trump did we watch burn?
How many times have I seen him get,
like remember that was the thing that Kathy Griffin had
is like the decapitated head in that video.
Decapitated head.
That was, you know, like.
I didn't see many effigies of Trump,
but I saw lots and lots of
mocking stuff.
Piñatas is a better one.
There was an inflatable balloon that seemed to follow him
around Europe or something.
I saw the hangings a couple times.
I saw a couple built
statues. Not a good statue, obviously.
The burn.
Embarrassing statues. I saw one with a very tiny penis in New York that was pretty hilarious. The a good statue, obviously. The burn. Ugly, embarrassing statues. I saw one with a very tiny penis
in New York that was pretty hilarious. Lots of that.
The city was like,
hey, we can't have
any erections of statues
no matter how small. You have to take it
down. It was pretty funny.
Don't put statues of naked people around.
Have you guys seen fucking
Barron Trump lately?
That kid is enormous.
Is he a kid anymore?
He grew way more.
He grew so much that before you show him the picture, Zach,
and please find the most recent one,
he looks like two kids in a big coat.
It's getting ridiculous.
He's going to sneak into a cocktail party to save the world or something.
Dude, that kid's like 6'8".
And he's still got the body of a guy
who's got a lot of growing to do.
It looks photoshopped. He's like Slenderman.
I
This is the one I'm seeing.
He's not super handsome in this one.
He's going to Duke. Oh wait, I didn't read the fact
checking. Is it real? It's true!
It's true. He's just that huge.
Yeah. He's just an enormously tall guy he's absurd looking uh i i don't that that's at 16 like he's gonna be playing
college wait he's college ball now uh it says that oh it the rarely photographed youngest son
of former president donald trump is already six, seven inches tall, even though he just turned 15.
This is from a year ago.
And so I assume he's probably 69.
Look at the hair.
Look at the hair.
Don't you just love that he's chosen to go with his dad's hair?
Like, what is he thinking?
Look at him with the thumbs up and the fucking ill-fitting suit and everything.
Like, what are you doing?
Dude, if Trump is my dad and I watched him be like a superstar in everything he tried and then become president,
I'm like, all right, he looks like a goober, but there's something to the formula.
Thumbs up, hair terrible, 6'10".
Is he grabbing that woman's tit?
No, he's so far from that right hand,
he doesn't know what it's touching.
What are you talking about?
He's grabbing her titty.
He literally has his hand on her titty.
It's on top of the...
It's on top of the titty!
You are ridiculous.
Are you kidding me?
Fucking zoom in.
Show them that his man is right on her titty.
How old do you think this woman is?
Her tit is near the bottom of that fucking...
Yeah, her tit is next to her belly button,
I'm pretty sure.
Yeah.
Slandering this gentleman.
She's literally pushing his hand away.
She's hugging the hand towards him, you retard.
She's pushing his hand away,
and he's clearly about to stick that thumb in her eye.
And that giant thumb's gonna punch right through those glasses. God, he's so enormous, stick that thumb in her eye. And that giant thumb is going to punch right through those glasses.
God, he's so enormous it doesn't look real.
Yeah.
Unless he's the least athletic man on earth,
he's got to go somewhere for athleticism.
I saw a video on Reddit the other day of a kid getting a puppy or some shit.
But anyway, he ran to get the puppy.
And it was the most embarrassing run I'd ever seen.
And so I went to the comment section to see if anybody else was awful like me.
And they noticed this kid ran really fucking weird and stuff.
And don't misunderstand.
He doesn't have a...
There's nothing wrong with him.
He just runs like a fucking girl.
You know what I mean?
He doesn't know how to run.
And I hit controversial comments uh filtering sure enough
everybody the dad should have taught him to run instead of giving him a fucking dog
let's get him some running classes so he's like such a dweeb like the hey sometimes that happens
and you run like a dweeb and you grow out of it.
It was like a little hop, skippy, jump, leaning thing.
It was real bad.
How old was he?
I don't know.
Probably five, six.
Somewhere between 12 and five.
I can't really tell.
It's like, how much does that cow weigh?
Fuck, I don't know.
500 to 1,000 pounds?
My friends who aren't around kids at all like like i've and i've just like picked it up because a few years
ago before a lot of my friends had kids like you know i didn't see him as much like i would see a
kid and i'd be like that kid could be four or he could be a small eight-year-old i don't know i
don't know what what stage is that and now i'm like more locked in but
kyle you're still at that like you see like an eight-year-old and you're like is it the toddler
when i see preteen like i don't like seeing kids places i try not to go places where kids are even
allowed you know what i mean yeah just adult bookstores for me yeah adult bookstores i hang
out at uh god i can't remember the name of the last one I was at.
It had a silly name.
Mickey's Mouse because it attracts the pussy.
No, it was something about lions or something.
The Lion's Den or some shit.
I don't know.
Ooh, that's hardcore.
Yeah.
Is it?
No.
It sounds hardcore.
You got DVDs and dildos.
It's not hardcore.
There's a deviant going on at the Lion's Den.
I don't even think that's what it's, anyway.
Have you ever bought
a dv oh actually i had something specific for you kyle uh deep it the i have to answer the
question i bought a dvd when i was like 18 or 19 because because like i didn't have like
privacy private internet and i was about to move out and I didn't have a laptop and I bought
it then when I was living on my own.
I found it yesterday when I was throwing DVDs
away, stuffed in like
an Xbox 360 game
because I opened them all up because I stuff money
in them. Sometimes I hide money.
Before you throw a book away,
you got to be like...
It's like $1 25 cents in 1984 money i have hang on i'm gonna show you the money
change clearly visible in all your books
bookshelf looks like absolute dog shit yeah that i've never bought a dvd like that ever
i was i was too young i think i've bought dvds um and i wasn't too young i like
was at night school as an adult i might have been married and picked it up on my way home
like after midnight from a fucking 16 hour work day like i'm allowed to buy it yeah but it was
pre like nowadays if you watch porn it gets straight to the good shit most porns nowadays
don't have plots back when i bought it you like what is this like 17 minutes of character
development going on in this dumb ass porn i'm exaggerating but it's still too much yeah i was
just like all right that's so true like imagine the first like porn directors back in the day
when that became legal they're like aren't you just gonna start fucking her he's like no cut make me want to watch
it i don't know who you are yet i don't know who he is exposition you were away on a beach vacation
you didn't have plans of having sex this is all spontaneous seduce her go and then over the years
they're like you know people really actually
dislike this part of it yeah based on our metrics no one's seen it at all everyone goes halfway in
kyle wants to show us his money what do you got kyle just going through the fucking boxes like
looking through like books and fucking xbox games and dvds and to be fair an old wallet
like oh it's mostly ones it's mostly ones but but it
was like there was a bunch of money in there you can tell those are old too those have been in
books for a long time they're like i had to check in everything because i'm throwing so much shit
away i felt bad throwing all those xbox 360 you had one dollar bills and books
because like i don't know if you've ever found something like that like like found a little bit Why do you hide $1 bills in books? Because like,
I don't know if you've ever found something like that,
like,
like found a little bit of money,
but it's a really cool feeling.
So I hide money a lot.
You're not finding it.
You're hiding money from yourself that you have.
Yeah,
but I forget about it and I find it again and it's fun.
And it's not a huge amount of money.
I mean,
there's,
there's a few twenties in there and stuff,
but like,
it's a few hundred dollars.
Look at the money head. It's yeah. All the fun you can money. I mean, there's a few 20s in there and stuff, but it's a few hundred dollars. Look at the funny head.
Yeah, all the fun you can have.
And like, hey, if I die and you come to go through my belongings
to get them to goodwill,
you're going to come out easily 600 bucks a head.
That's going to pay for your gas and travel to come here
and rifle through my shit.
Yeah, and most of your funeral?
I don't know about that.
It's going to be cheap.
It's going to be cheap.
A casket about the titanium.
This is what we found.
I've been watching nothing but mountain climbing disaster videos
and things that are like, I shouldn't be alive.
People go down into the canyons and get lost.
Before we do that, I'm going to do the ads real quick.
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All right. Oh, yeah. Kyle, you wanted to talk about a couple of people.
Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Like I said on PKN that I despite all of these videos about people dying while hiking, mountaineering, canyoning.
dying while hiking mountaineering canyoning i'm kind of it makes me want to go do it because the reasons they're getting into trouble are always stupid or like arrogance like there was
one guy who liked to hike ultralight and he just went off to a place where he couldn't survive and
died basically because he was arrogant there was a couple there was a couple that thought they were
taking a fucking shortcut in a blizzard
and just drove off into a nature preserve because they couldn't tell they were on gravel
instead of pavement because of the snow.
Went 50 miles into the wilderness and got the truck stuck.
Ended up losing all of their toes and barely getting out alive by the time they were done.
They both lost all their toes?
They both lost all their toes, husband and wife. They had the baby in like a sleeping bag dragging it through the snow and instead of
turning around and going the way they had come in which was 50 miles they looked at the map and
they were like oh we could just cut across the wilderness area and it's about 20 but that's
mountains and rivers and shit yeah and they're wearing like sweats because they didn't
expect to go mountaineering that day so like the the woman like she gives out a gas like
10 miles in he has to put her in a cave go back to the truck and then go 50 miles to help
he lost all the baby die the baby was fine it was breastfeeding and staying in like
i don't know three layers of shit you know it was gonna live in a situation like that the baby die the baby was fine it was breastfeeding and staying in like i don't know
three layers of shit you know it was gonna live in a situation like that the baby will live as
long as the mom will but like they both lost all their toes and then the interviews with them
they're just the wife's like oh i didn't mind losing all my toes as long as little jesse lived
and i was thinking like i'm so mad at that man who had military service. And the whole trip was to go to, like, a second cousin's funeral or some shit.
Who cares?
Yeah.
Every single one of those stories starts that way.
It's like they shouldn't be there to begin with.
There were these three old men who took some 15-year-old Boy Scouts into the Grand Canyon and got lost.
year old Boy Scouts into the Grand Canyon and got lost.
And as each of
the old men fails, like physically,
they get left behind until it's just
the boys climbing down a
200 foot sheer rock face
to get to the Colorado River.
One of the three
boys dies of dehydration
100 yards from the river.
Dehydration 100
yards from the river? They couldn't Christ. Dehydration 100 yards from the river?
They couldn't hook him up?
He collapsed.
They ran the rest of the distance,
came back with water,
and they got rescue services to him
because they ran into kayakers
when they got to the river.
But they helicoptered in.
It didn't matter.
They were like, sorry, your friend's dead.
And all the old men lived,
but they're all just fucked.
Like they went into the desert
and on day one of a day three thing, 75% of their water is gone. And all the old men lived, but they're all just fucked. Like they went into the desert,
and on day one of a day three thing,
75% of their water is gone.
It's such easy math to know you got to turn around.
Yeah.
Like it's more than... That's a horrible amount.
How do you not notice that?
Like, hey, does everybody have their water?
I only got a couple sips left.
All right, forge ahead, boys.
We're only 2,500 miles from the river.
They were so far away from the river.
And apparently it was some
unusual heat wave there, so it was 112
degrees in the canyon.
Oof.
I don't know how the old men didn't die then.
Woody, didn't you go on
a pretty considerable
hike, like
through a trail or something? Yeah, the John Muir
Trail I did with a couple friends. How is that we went i think 80 miles that's a serious
hike how many days seven okay no we planned seven i think we did it in six or five okay yeah these
people will end up you know obviously they're doing death marches it's like let's get out of
here we're gonna die and they'll be doing 20 miles a day and it's like oh my god and their feet are rotting off
like like they have not just blisters but sometimes jungle fungus and like all sorts of nasty stuff
going on that's the part with me i'm kind of a bitch about my feet once i get a blister or
something or like i don't know if you've ever had like shoes that are rubbing the back yeah i had
one of the guys i was with was a fucking trooper like it he had blisters on his feet that were as
bad as any blisters you've seen in real life they covered the entire back edge like not just the
back of his heel but the back of his heel wrapping around the back of his heel wrapping around. The bottom of his heel was blistered.
At the end of camp, he would just peel off more skin than I knew you had to spare.
Fuck.
He never complained once.
What a man.
He didn't even mention that his feet hurt.
Was he ex-military or something?
Who is this man?
Is he an accountant or something?
What's his background?
He was P.K.A. Dan's friend from childhood. Just friend from childhood just nice guy dude yeah i don't have that in me like like growing up we would
work hard but if if i ever got blisters i was like well i'm done that's why i'm always so serious
about i always wear gloves with anything i do that's like if i'm gonna do mechanic work or go
under a house or anything i'd always put leather gloves on and dad would even give me a hard time like get your gloves on let's go and then some jobs it's like you're gonna get sucked
in wearing those fucking gloves this is not a glove job anything right spinning thing it's like
you know i don't i don't do that but i was wearing my gloves the other day operating a side grinder
my finger got sucked in and it fucked the glove up not me and it was like oh thank god like the
glove is all sanded down i can see my finger through it but i'm fine yeah yeah angle grinder is one where
i'm not sure you know would you have maybe just glanced off it and not been hurt but you got
pulled in a little more or like you said like i've also had it where like the last inch of my
glove got pulled into a thing but not my finger you know maybe it saved me yeah but i i don't have
the safety backing thing on the grinder you know it's just me yeah but i i don't have the safety backing thing on
the grinder you know it's just the wheels spinning i can't often reach what i'm trying to reach yeah
i think it's less likely to pull you in because there's nothing to like pinch you against
you know you can't get pinched against that guard i watch videos somewhat like the ones you talked
about but they're aviation based and it's always a cascade of mistakes it's never like one thing
went wrong and boom now the guy's falling out of the sky yeah it's like a cascade of mistakes. It's never like one thing went wrong and boom, now the guy's fallen out of the sky.
It's like this thing happened and then he reacted improperly to that and then he reacted improperly to that.
And by his fourth mistake, he had no more chances to correct it.
Yeah.
Same sort of thing?
It's always that.
There's one where they're on like a pleasure cruise and a fairly fairly large sail slash it's got a motor but it's
a big sailboat and um it goes down in the night because they don't have charts for the place that
they're in they don't have the proper charts they have charts for where they're going but they don't
have charts for the emergency stop that they need to make because they let that the noob go up top
and she got flung in the waves and her back hit the
the railing and she's fucked up so as the boat's going down the girl with the back injury holds
on to the rigging and the and the master whatever is it's going down gets tangled in it and gets
gruesome cuts on her legs from the from the cabling then the the good emergency bag gets lost to the
sea the thing that had like the radio the transponder the food the water the
desalination the sunscreen this sounds really helpful it's literally like like god mode like
oh we're good oh they'll be right here hey bring us some champagne because we're pretty happy
you know that but we've got so much peanut butter in this thing. You guys got jelly and bread? Yeah, it was that, but they lose that,
and now they're in a shitty dinghy.
And they're being buffeted by waves.
They're still in a storm, so they go under.
They flip it upside down, and they go under,
and the girl with the cuts, she's afraid.
She's claustrophobic.
She's not an ocean girl.
They're interviewing the survivors and there's like a
bad bitch in the group like she's got her hair up in a very like i don't know athletic kind of way
and she can tell she's pretty but like i don't know she's had a lot of sun in her life you can
tell and she's just like she was not a seaworthy woman or something like that oh yeah i like it
she looked down on the other woman she's like I don't even know what she was doing up there to get flung into the railing.
She should have been below deck, as she was told.
Every step of the way, she's talking about how one of the men got themselves killed.
And she's like, we did the best we could.
We told him not to drink the water.
He drank the water.
Then he saw a boat.
And then he started swimming.
He swam until we didn't see him anymore.
Then we heard him scream as the sharks ate him.
Because the sharks are
everywhere beneath the boat because of this
woman's bleeding leg. At one point
the guy complained to someone. He's like,
stop kicking my legs. And she's like,
alright, I'm just going to look down and
find his fucking legs so
I don't bump them anymore. So she sticks her head
underneath and she's like, it's a swarm
of sharks.
She's like, there are no less than 30
sharks beneath us.
And they still have their legs in the water?
Only two of them
ended up living. The rest of them
succumbed to their injuries or
swam away. The woman and
one guy ended up
living. Jesus Christ have that sounded like
a really good one that being out at sea would be the scariest place to be stranded there's
something very horrifying about the ocean to me like even woody being like oh i just sometimes
would swim until as far as i could i'm like ah why why would you do that because i'm conquest
focused i think you and and I are in particular,
because we've been in the ocean water so much less than Woody.
Maybe 1% of what he has would be generous.
Not even 1%.
There's no way it's 1% as much like time in the ocean.
It's a quarter of a percent.
So to me, it's a very scary place full of scary,
lasophobia-like you know when I see
that endless blue deep below
you and when I see like apex
fucking predators that are in their element
and my dumb ass cannot
swim I mean I can stay afloat
but I ain't going nowhere
okay I'm not going anywhere
you're not winning any contests and you're certainly not
winning a contest against an animal
that lives there.
Do you know why you can't drink salt water?
Do you guys know why?
I think it takes more to process the salt out of your kidneys than you get from the water, right?
You're exactly right.
I didn't know that until I was older than you.
You learned it faster than me.
I was like, I know you can't drink salt water, but it's water, and it's the only water available.
Why isn't it better than nothing?
And it's because when you have too much salt, you need to drink water.
The concentration of salt in this water is greater than the amount of water you get from it.
It's like that old Simpsons where they get stranded and Homer misremembers the line.
He's like, yeah, remember the line?
Water, water everywhere.
Let's all have a drink.
No, Homer. No, Homer.
No, Homer. No, stop. water everywhere let's all have a drink no homer no stop
flanders flanders is like the pro right he's like oh don't worry we've got our hip our survival kit
there with rations that'll feed us survival homer's eating like a week's worth of everyone's
food and now he's got the fucking uh swiss army knife with every blade popped out on a on a dinghy
and he like it drops it and it's bouncing with every pokey thing imaginable and then the gag
is it lands and the the magnifying glass melts a hole in the book man old simpson's so funny
so funny but do you like um who framed roger rabbit i've never seen that what never seen
that's the one where it's like half cartoons.
Yeah, I bring it up because I just saw
I don't like that style.
I remember even as a kid when that was big.
There's no one else who doesn't like this.
It is unique
in the way that it combines
2D animation and live action.
No one has ever went to the trouble
that they went to to do it
the way
they did it because they would have they would have animated characters carrying around real
objects and to achieve that they use like animatronics and robot arms and like like like
lifted stages with like tracks hidden underneath to carry plates around and stuff and all sorts of
shit on strings there's a scene where there's like an octopus bartender and you know he's like shaking multiple drinks and doing all sorts of stuff so they have
actual drinks like hung by wires being dangled up in the air and stuff uh i only mentioned it
because i just watched red letter media do a whole thing on it and i hadn't seen it forever either i
might watch it no oh if you don't have any more cool survival tales, I wanted to ask you.
So it's weird.
You mentioned this like two months ago out of nowhere where you're like these fucking solicitors.
They keep coming to my house, these solicitors.
And I was like, that's weird.
Like, I'm trying to remember the last time.
And I was like thinking back like, oh, yeah, last summer, every once in a while, a bug person or a pest person would cold call you or uh a gutter person like oh you need our gutter guards like those are like the
two big people that would come and find you tree removal people windows i've never gotten a windows
person there's maybe one person last summer i got total and in the past two weeks i've gotten like
four people five five people.
And I am like, you were talking about how like,
I just straight up told this guy to fuck off.
I was getting irritated. And I always try to like be, I know what it's like to be in shitty jobs.
Then, you know, you're bothering someone or inconveniencing them.
And like, so I don't want them to feel uncomfortable or bad or anything.
And so I'm usually just like, you know, I, I'm sorry.
Like I,
I just,
I want to save your time as much as mine.
I'm not going to buy anything today.
You know that I apologize for the inconvenience.
Like,
and then they just leave.
But this guy today just like,
would not take no for an answer to where I,
he kept being like best.
Like,
and he's like,
show me pictures of all the pests they handle.
And I'm like, that's great.
I actually had a pest control problem last year
and I hired a termite company
and I have had zero problems since they came,
removed the termites
and then set up these traps outside my house.
And he's like, what company did that?
What brand?
I'm like, you can read it on there
if you want to bend down.
I could not tell you.
But this is not a good time for me.
I was in the middle of something.
I'd been spending all morning on a project.
I needed done by early afternoon and I needed that shit fucking done.
And I was like, can you get rid of this guy?
See that?
You know what?
I don't have a real test problem.
Yeah.
Yeah.
These guys show up around noon, knock on my door, even with the sign and everything.
And they try to sell me
services that I could have easily acquired
on the internet. Can you put bear traps
around here or something like that?
If you could get up in that tower with
a rifle, and if you
see the fucking Orkin man coming,
no warning shots. Take his knee out
immediately if you see him. Dude,
I got so...
What the fuck? No, I i hear you but you're stuck there you are
yeah you're fine no i had a fucking just went black oh okay okay i'm back now i'm back now
uh oh anyway so the guy i was talking to him and i i was i don't think I was like overtly rude, but after like the fourth, no, I was like, dude, this is a bad time. And I just closed the door and went back to work and he left. And like, I felt guilty about it being like, being like, man, that was like, I should have been nicer to that guy. But, but he was pushing me so much. And like, it was obviously not a good time. Like he he could see he could like from my front window
i was like it's not a good this is not this is really not a good time this is a bad time right
now and i closed the door and tell you're not even bad i know after working at enterprise
i feel really i'm very sensitive about it i once i i didn't want to say this because it's this has
come up a couple weeks in a row.
Fuck, I'm going to take shit for this.
There was a traveling steak salesman that passed not one, not two, but three no soliciting signs on the way to my front porch.
And I had just moved into this house.
This was like six years ago or something.
I was very excited about the lack of solicitors.
I thought my driveway, which to me anyway, is enormous, right?
Like maybe in the scale of driveways, it's not that big. It's a big driveway.
Yeah.
We don't get any trick-or-treaters, that's for fucking sure.
But traveling salesmen, I guess we get a couple.
So the guy comes up the long freaking driveway,
and he wants to sell me steaks out of a cooler.
And me today, maybe I listen. The guy comes up the long freaking driveway and he wants to sell me steaks out of a cooler.
And like me today, maybe I listen.
But at the time I was like, no, no, you're invading my palace.
I just moved here.
I thought this wasn't going to happen to me anymore.
We were in my last place, like two blocks from like the big Mormon place.
Oh, God. And they were constantly trying to get me to believe in this Mormon shit all time.
And then if it wasn't the Mormons, it was all like the high school kids.
Hey, here's my football team.
Here's whatever.
And we gave to them, but I didn't like it.
Anyway, this guy comes and I might have said something exactly like, get the fuck out of here.
Way worse to the orcan man
you're not gonna take shit for that that's three no soliciting signs yeah and the guy was like what
what did you say i looked him in the eye and i said get the fuck out of here i was like you
passed three no soliciting signs you know exactly what you did you completely disregarded our wishes and now here you
are in my front doorstep trying to sell me something just go and like he didn't want to go
because i had made it like a manhood challenge or something i'll tell you how to fix that
there were two of them and they were all beefed up on steaks. They're eating nothing but bread and meat.
His two mountains barreling towards my driveway.
But yeah, eventually, I don't even know how it...
I didn't back down, and I guess neither did they,
but we managed to just separate,
and it's like they're not making a sale here.
I could have said no.
You could have gotten a gun.
I could have probably, yeah. If he wins one of of those guys i tell you what you wing the steak man i guarantee he tells the fucking guy with the vinyl siding the guy with the window tinting vacuum dude's
never coming around and guess what you forget about on your front porch when you get winged
the steaks they leave all that behind.
It's like charcuterie.
You shoot one of them in the knee
and they go to wheel their
thing of steaks. No, no, no. Leave the
steak.
Is it worth your life, boy?
Why do you start talking like that?
The Orkin man did the same exact shit to me.
I don't like people knocking on my fucking door to begin with.
So like,
I go out there and I'm like,
what,
what do you want?
You know,
like I'm,
I see his fucking silly hat.
You know,
he's got that helmet on and shit.
Like he's doing some real industrial shit,
that Orkin man helmet.
And I was like,
what,
what do you want?
And he tries to shake my hand.
I know he's the fucking Orkin man.
I'm like,
I refuse to shake his hand.
And I'm like, I look back at the no soliciting signs.
And I'm just like, you walk right past all the signs. I was like, they say no soliciting. That means you, that means you. And he's like, yeah, yeah. Your neighbors had signs too,
but they said they had a lot of pests last last sprint and he goes into this like thing about
my neighbors and their pest problem yeah and i'm like i don't give a fuck about their problems
i was like you need to leave he's like what i was like you need to leave and he didn't leave quite
quite quickly enough i felt i think it was the same thing what he's describing so i did this
thing where i went oh you don't want to leave i know how to fix this
and i like darted back into the house like i was going to get something he fucking ran i could hear
his feet as i was like he pitter-pattered the fuck out of there i didn't have anything to grab
like there's nothing in there you could probably have a cattle prod just for situations like oh
oh i love the idea of like like just to threaten him a little
if it made that yeah yeah just start answering like okay but once you've been told to go
once you've been told to go once you're trespassing um and you know you saw i just
watched that that gif again or the whole video whatever whatever the guy in Texas, who's gets into the confrontation with the guy on his front
step.
He's like the stepdad and the real dad has shown up to pick up his kid and he was supposed
to be, but they disagree on that point that the two men and he's like, get the fuck off
my porch.
And the guy doesn't get off the porch.
He goes in and he gets a gun.
Like a cool gun.
It's like a pistol caliber rifle with a suppressor on it.
And he's like, get the fuck out of here.
And the guy says, I'll take that away from you and kill you with it.
You do not want to say that.
That is not a threat you want to make on camera.
That's like probably legally what a threat is.
I'm going to take that from you
and kill you with it so he says those words and then they can you sign something to that effect
because it's gonna help me even more then the guy gives him a warning shot you know but it just goes
thunk you know an old boogie it gives him the old warning shot and the guy tries to take the gun
away from him he wins the
tussle for a gun and then double taps and dead right there on the on the front porch and like
the guys like family is recording it and her reaction is so weird i don't think she knows
what has just happened even though the man's laying face down like the family of the man
in the house is videoing no no there's a person in the driveway with a camera okay okay like giving
you like a front row seat to this whole thing no charges uh for that guy by the way like i loved
going through the comments of that thing and them being like i bet this guy's getting the chair
and i bet he spit good riddance to this guy long time in prison and then some like
wonderful person just tells every one of them, nope, no charges pressed.
What retarded comment section is this on?
Oh, Reddit.
Yeah, that checks out.
And look, I don't mean to tell that story in a way that makes it seem like the dead man was in the wrong
because he was there to pick up his child
and he had an appointment.
Uh-oh.
Jesus.
So it doesn't seem like...
It seems like that could have been handled better. That's where I am on it, Jesus. So it doesn't seem like seems like that could have been handled better.
That's that's where I am on it.
Yeah, I think I think they're bad at de-escalation.
Room for improvement.
Better luck next time.
Yeah.
Oftentimes when you see these shootings, it's two people who aren't good at de-escalation.
Two people who didn't who never said, you know what?
Like even the guy who was found a justifiable homicide they found it completely in the right
everything's cool i bet if he could redo it he'd be like you know this was actually not my favorite
way for it to go down yeah now he's got a stepson and he smoked the kid's dad
that's gonna be awkward around christmas time that's a strong point he killed that
yeah last one and we just went through father's day how you think things were rolling over at
that house right like what'd you get him a gun yeah like that's the other thing he's not a part
zach says he's not part they oh they left the stepdad she divorced the stepdad so apparently
killing your ex-husband makes you an ex-husband too. Well, shit.
Well, I'll say this.
Do not threaten people's lives because that's a legal thing you're doing.
Things are going to a level you're not prepared for, potentially,
when you say, I'm going to kill you.
Don't say that.
Don't say that.
You should have said, don't point that gun at me.
Someone could get hurt.
That'd be a good thing to say.
But don't tell anybody with a gun that you'll take it from them and kill them with it.
Because then they are well within their rights to shoot you.
When you try to then take it from them.
No, that one was crazy.
Do you remember that video?
Which one?
Oh, I was going to say, do you remember that video? The, the two big fat shirtless guys like on a gravel driveway.
And it was something,
I looked it up.
It was something about a mattress.
And this guy was either trying to like throw away a mattress or box spring on
some other guy's property or disputed property.
And these two guys,
like the big fat guy had like a shotgun on his back and the other guy had a
hand.
Yeah.
Yeah.
They killed him.
Yeah. I'm trying to find out what actually happened if those guys went to prison in georgia it was a
father and son i think the it was the two guys that were together and then they were in one of
those ridiculous arguments that you only see frankly in our country where there's there's
there's two drunk guys with their shirts off who both have guns,
and they're arguing about, like,
you know, get the fuck out of here or I'll shoot you.
No, you get the fuck out of here or I'll shoot you.
And it's like, whoa,
maybe we should both put our guns down, gentlemen.
Like, maybe that's step one. Could we fight about this, please?
Like, I don't know why they both have fucking guns
and are, like, talking shit back and forth.
And they basically talk shit until one of them
pulls the trigger and kills the other one.
Yeah.
I don't know why you're talking shit like I was 12 years anyway.
This one was definitely not at all
justifiable, this one.
It's just an argument where two people have guns
and one guy doesn't.
It's not worth killing someone over a fucking mattress.
One guy just said do it pussy too many
times for his own good.
It's what happened.
I don't know why you're talking shit to a guy holding a shotgun.
I would be so fucking terrified if somebody had a shotgun pointed at me.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, I just watched that video again.
Jesus Christ.
It's so wild how fragile we are.
Like we can be like so robust in some ways with repairing ourselves.
And then in other ways, it's like, oh, that guy was just walking around.
He probably had a dinner plan or something he wanted.
And then he got into a fight stupidly with these two maniacs with guns.
And then he's just, it's over.
I saw two guys pass each other on a sidewalk, right?
And they bump shoulders.
They turn around and one of them wants to talk shit.
He goes to talk shit
and make a thing of it and the other one
punches him. He falls over
into the path of a bus and is
immediately decapitated.
All he had to do was be like,
we're good. Excuse me.
Excuse me. He turned around
and wanted to make a thing of it and the other
guy shoves him or punches him, I don't remember which,
and his head exploded under the tires of a a bus or some shit it was it all happened
so quick it's a quick death that fragility is crazy the guy and my head's on paramotor accidents
i have seen guys like fail to launch on a picture of paramotor with wheels on it and they're trying
to take off and the thing just tumbles and yard sails with pieces
of prop and netting and cage and who knows what just flying everywhere with scattered debris
behind him and the pilot gets up and he's 100 fine i have seen other guys take a hard landing
and their butt just kind of scoops hits it and now they're fighting to to walk again and it like didn't even look that bad i know a guy
on a motorcycle so i made a left hand turn in front of him and he went like over the car so
imagine going over the hood kind of feet first somehow i don't know and he landed on his butt
and that guy's mostly paralyzed from the waist down too have you seen the guy he's he's parachuting
he's landing i don't know what he was he's landing in a parachute i don't know how he
how he what happened before then but he's sort of like pulling down the toggles and like scooting
his butt up to sort of like get his legs kind of straight out to like sort of slide in sure sure
sure and and there's like these little man-made ponds almost that seem like they'd
be good to skid into but he skids right at the end of one where there's like an embankment and
you can see from his gopro his legs compound fracture as they hit it and it's one of those
things like when i'm on reddit i'm just like watching gifs like like it could be anything
from like a mom making pie for her kids to
what i just described so i'm usually real quick to like nope i don't want to see anyone get burnt
alive and like fix that but like i i didn't know what was going to happen it was like oh i bet he's
going to do that like skid across the water thing that right you see people who do it really well
he fucking blew both of his legs up they like like you saw like red meat and bone just bow out of both of them.
And I was just like,
ah,
no,
no,
no,
no.
Paramotor pilots do that too.
So that the speed of a,
of a canopy like that,
whether it be a paraglider or a parachute is fixed.
They always go the same speed pretty much.
But if you go down,
you can temporarily increase your speed.
So they kind of dive at the ground level out and then
they can go extra far with that extra speed that they call energy you're playing chicken with the
ground hoping to turn it just the right time a lot of my friends are really good at it i'm not
it's not a skill i've ever worked on um this is my safety like philosophy I do boring launches, boring landings,
exciting flights. Very smart.
That's my thing. But the launch
and landing, it should be very boring
and just like I meant it to be.
Swoop landings look fun.
Or it looks horrific.
Have you ever heard of Bebo Russell?
No idea. Is that a fictitious person?
They call him the Sky Thief.
So Bebo worked baggage handling at an airport.
Oh, I remember this guy, the Sky King.
He played some video game simulators with planes,
and occasionally he'd ask pilots,
what's that switch to?
What's this switch to?
One time they even caught him in the cockpit toggling around with the switches that he hadn't been told about before.
And they reprimanded him.
Well, turned out the Bebo was depressed, suicidal, like really kind of done with life.
And so he stole a large passenger plane, took it out.
And as they're like, hey, oh, you do not have clearance to move on the runway, or the
he just ignores them, takes it off perfectly,
and then starts doing tricks in it that most experts
say are beyond them and they would never attempt, especially not at those
altitudes. This man has a medium-sized passenger plane
doing barrel rolls and and
loop the loops there's a there is a loop that he does where i'm gonna guess he it looks like he's
gonna crash i'm like oh this is him dying because he's he's he's like coming out of the loop and
like he's losing so much altitude he's right above the ground in this big plane and he recovers it
and takes it back up and he's talking to them as like
more calmly than i am right now he's like yeah i think i'm gonna try to do a barrel roll and
if i make it through that i think i'm just gonna put her down in that island over there
i really didn't think i'd i'd make it this far frankly and he just sort of like gives his suicide
letter right there he's like there's
gonna be a lot of family and friends that are gonna be disappointed in me i'm real sorry but
i guess i'm just a guy with a few screws loose and i'm just done yeah here's apparently some
quotes like some conversations between them they have the audio yeah i've heard it just flying
around the plane you seem comfortable with that is the operator oh hell yeah it's a blast i've
played video games before so uh you know i know what I'm doing a little bit.
Okay.
And you can see all the terrain around you.
You've got no issue with visibility or anything.
Nah, everything's peachy.
Peachy clean.
Just did a little circuit around Rainier.
It's beautiful.
I think I've got some gas to go check out the Olympics.
Damn it, Andrew.
People's lives are at stake here.
Ah, Rich, don't say stuff like that.
That was another guy they're talking on the same thing.
I don't want to hurt no one.
I just want you to whisper sweet nothings in my ear.
They asked him.
Well, Rich, I already talked to him.
Just like me, what we want to see is you not get hurt
or get anyone else hurt.
So if you want to try and land, that's the way to go.
Hey, I want the coordinates of that orca. You know, the mama orca with the baby. I want to go see that guy.
What the fuck? Sorry, my mic came off. I threw up a little bit. Sorry about that. I hope it
doesn't ruin your day. Hey, do you think if I land this successfully, Alaska will give me a job as a
pilot? You know, I think they would give you a job doing
anything if you could pull this off yeah right nah i'm a white guy oh that's gold
the middle one i'm sorry my mic came off i threw up a little bit i'm sorry about this i hope it
doesn't ruin your day it's so funny he just from his quotes he seemed like a guy that
just he just was having a blast flying around wanting to have no you don't get it he doesn't
have any future like that's his no i know he's having some fun there he's having some fun on
his way out is what he was trying to i wish we could show like the footage of him flying the
plane because it legitimately doesn't look real like like like what he's doing in that plane. He's doing like stunts and a passenger plane for the fun of it.
And he's,
I had seen like this old footage of,
I don't know,
one of the big Boeing planes doing those maneuvers in Nevada,
like when they were proving them.
And it was a test pilot with a parachute.
And he was at like high altitude doing these maneuvers.
This kid has never been in a plane before and he's
doing them over a lake like the public is out watching it's absurd he's apparently he said he
wanted to do it over the lake so that if he fucked up no one would get hurt other than him eventually
he put it down on a little uh when i say put it down he fucking crashed it nose first as fast as
he could into the ground uh in an unpopulated area if he would have landed it successfully like i feel like by this point that was a few years ago now like he would have been
like doing kimmel or something like they like sure stealing a plant actually no he'd be in
fucking guantanamo probably he'd either be doing kimmel if people thought it was funny and it was
like a popular thing to meme on it or if it was like this guy's a domestic terrorist then he'd be if he got to be on tv in court if they had like his court thing on tv
he would win over like everybody based on his personality there right because he he's very
endearing seems funny he's all those nah shucks you know sweet nothings that kind of language i
heard his voice he's so chill it's um i feel for him. He's clearly in pain. He committed suicide.
He didn't want to hurt anyone else.
He did steal some
pretty expensive equipment.
Good for him.
Yeah, I don't know.
American on the way out.
I don't really like the airlines myself.
Delta's the best.
I don't care what anybody says.
Delta. I thought you'd say virgin i
thought you were you're you're a you're a georgia guy so i've only been able to fly so virgin doesn't
fly flights out of atlanta seemingly i don't know they they've rarely been an option in the past i
i've only had one virgin flight that was really chill now that i think about it that they had this
like purplish uh pink lighting in first class and
it was a nighttime flight from like seattle down to la or something like it's only like a two and
a half hour flight but it was super chill and i just remember kitty and i are up in first class
and i'm in the window and their first class is pretty nice the seats recline and then you still
have like it it's like you're in a recliner and then you could get out of the recliner and stand and look back at the leg thing kicked up there's there's still enough room to stand there
and this little asian lady snuck up out of coach and like walks into that space like she's between
us and the people in front of us like we're reclined we're like curled up in blankets like like in our first class seats
it's night time and she's like poking kitty hey hey like waking her up and asking her how much
the tickets up here cost how much your tickets cost i refuse to help i refuse to help or translate
because kitty wakes up and she's like well what's it all about oh what is it oh what does it want
finally the flight attendant showed up and shoot that little lady back to where she belonged
in the back i like it when the flight attendants do that because it makes me feel special i think
this is schreudenberg like when you take pleasure from other people's pain i may have that word
messed up but again paramotors i talk about much today there have been days where i launch and it's
cloudy and it's yucky out and the whole area everywhere i went to north carolina is stuck in
this shitty gray day but there's a few holes in the clouds and i go through those and now i
am in the sun all you fucknards are having a shitty cloudy day but i am up here above the clouds in the sun and that somehow makes it nicer than if we were all in the sun. All you fucknards are having a shooty cloudy day. But I am up here above the clouds in the sun.
And that somehow makes it nicer than if we were all in the sun.
I just imagine you getting just low enough so that you can skip along the tops of the clouds.
And you're playing like, I'm walking on sunshine.
Yeah, you can totally do that.
Yeah, you can hang out way above the clouds and get a better view of them.
You can just drag your feet in it.
Clouds smell a certain way.
Let me ask you this.
Maybe this is a stupid question it is there ever any like instance where you would be
worried about like getting sucked up in some sort of uh updraft and taken to like scary high
altitudes yes but these are not those kind of clouds yeah these are have you ever been like
adjacent to those kinds of clouds where it's like oh we better not go over there or
we could possibly get sucked up and like pass out from from no oxygen people do i haven't i like
when they warned us and taught us about cloud suck it was like quicksand as a child like careful
cloud suck careful cloud suck is going to be a major problem in your free flying career
this is what cloud sock could look like.
And, you know, there's these people at 32,000 feet freezing to death.
Oh, my God.
Yeah.
And meanwhile, when I actually free fly, like without a motor, I'm doing everything I can to scratch and just stay in the air.
It's very hard to fly for more than an hour or so.
And, you know, they act like I won't be able to get down.
That's never happened.
That, to me, is very similar to being sucked out to sea by
the current and taken out to that
nothingness where
you just can't really do anything.
When they get sucked up to those high altitudes,
they lose
consciousness because it's so cold.
Then they'll
drop down enough so they
wake up again and they're all icy and they're like fuck fuck we gotta fix this problem but
then they start going back up again and they pass out and like who knows how long that could happen
for i've seen the problem people like usually you carry um it's what is a fucking cutting knife
called the the hook knife i'm looking for so that they carry a hook knife they destroy their wing they cut the lines they throw their reserve parachute but even it descends too quick
not quickly enough so they get sucked up and now they're under parachute and they can't steer or do
anything about it oh my god i haven't seen it i've seen on youtube yeah how high can you go up in the
paramotor or any kind of parachute i guess before the air gets too thin and it just doesn't hold you up anymore.
It's not that.
It's the time you're up there as well.
I want to know how close to space you could float to.
I would say it caps out around 30,000 feet.
It's as high as people have gone, 32,000 feet, 37,000 feet.
Where is space?
What's the line there?
50, right?
No, it's like kilometers, right?
But Kyle probably knows this.
50,000 feet?
I remember that there's a lot of back and forth about where space actually is.
But then I watched NASA pick a line.
They have picked a line.
I don't know where it is.
It might be 50 kilometers.
I don't know.
It's where it turns black instead of blue.
Oh, man. We're so off.
Yeah, 62 miles.
Yeah, and 50,000 feet would be a little less than 10 miles.
Like 320,000 feet or something?
Wait, wait, wait. 62 miles
is over 300,000 feet.
Yeah.
That's dumb.
I refuse to use that number.
Why?
That's absurd what did that guy
what did the red bull guy jump from that because that was fucking space the red bull guy had to be
like 50 60 000 feet he wasn't he wasn't 300 000 is so fucking okay he was felix took off from 128 000 feet so 24.5 miles yeah so and that guy's in
space you can see the curvature of the earth and it's black above things yeah it's black above
that's the line here's what i say it's space when the fucking sky turns black above you
obviously blue is oh wait that's just nice space well When it's daytime and yet the sky
turns black above you,
you're right on the edge of space.
It's always daytime somewhere.
You're orbiting at 300 miles, I feel like.
Maybe I'm wrong, but Jesus Christ, it seems real high.
It doesn't fucking matter.
It's a good thing I know.
All I know is that
if you're up at
15,000 or 20,000 feet for extended amounts of time,
you're going to have headaches and all sort of diminished capacity.
I don't know where you just pass out and how long you have to be exposed to that.
But I would imagine 30,000 feet.
Obviously, they're pressurizing aircraft already.
30,000 feet, it's quick.
I know below 10 grand, don't worry about it.
You're fine.
There's no that.
Above 10 grand, I want to say at 10 grand,
you get an hour or something like that.
I forget.
There's a guideline for it.
It took this guy 90 minutes to fall.
To reach target altitude and then pull.
He fell for an hour and a half.
He probably had a fucking Pixar movie
and a little screen.
This guy had 26,000 feet roughly.
It took him 90 minutes to pull a chute. No, red bull guy the 128 000 feet that includes the ascent though right
it's a bomb gardener about 90 minutes to reach oh yeah fuck yeah yeah you can't fall i was
imagining him like crossing an immense amount of distance over time like wow he's just skimming
he's like skipping across
i wish i paid more attention to it today but uh but today i watched a little documentary about
these three men who wanted to go to the north pole and uh in a nitrogen balloon or some shit
and it was like forgive me i don't remember the year but it was around the time when they thought
you could go to the north pole in a nitrogen balloon did richard branson get involved a little
bit dude this is like black and white photos times when this happened so so these guys get into this
fucking thing and they think they can steer it using ropes they're dragging but immediately like
two of the ropes like fall off i don't know what the balloon was made out of it was giant it had a net around it this is like old timey as fuck okay they ended up nowhere near the north pole but way
up where it was cold they get out on the ice because you know they've ran out of like it won't
float anymore they thought it would last 900 days that was their initial estimate for how long it
would stay alive it stayed up like it stayed stayed at three weeks or something like that.
They ended up on this
ice pack and then that broke
away from the mainland and started
floating away.
They're hunting polar bears
and they're eating. There are very
few polar bear out on the ice, but they're
shooting them and eating them. They're eating
the brains and the livers
and everything.
Sea life, their livers are full of like vitamin A or some shit.
You can't eat those.
So like they're getting like vitamin A poisoning from the seals and the bears.
Taylor, you knew that already?
Yeah.
Yeah. I knew from a documentary they were like talking about how if you eat too much liver, it poisons you.
they were like talking about how if you eat too much liver,
it poisons you like,
well from a polar bear specifically because of how much vitamin A accumulates in their,
in their liver.
And what an obscure piece of knowledge that both of you have.
Hey,
hey,
hey,
careful,
careful,
careful.
Not too much polar bear liver.
There's no room on my plate for a,
for a bit of polar bear liver.
That'll,
that'll ruin my,
my macros.
But anyway, they ended up fucking dying. Like they went up there and fucking died like i really like
those videos of the disasters and stuff um there's so many of these dumb asses who are like they'll
get three quarters of the way up a mountain and then the weather will come in and they'll be like
we can do it and it's like dude come back tomorrow or the next day or next week.
They always die.
They always die.
I want to know what the forecast they saw was.
I judge that a lot.
Again, with the motor stuff.
But yeah, in flights, we just got caught in bad weather.
What can you do?
You can check the forecast.
I want to know what the forecast said when you made that call.
Then I'll judge you. I mean, back i mean the forecast now aren't even like aren't
even that great but back then were they kyle mentioned he switched it to mountain climbing
oh i'm sorry yeah yeah we're going back and forth between screaming about my dog shut the fuck up i
i don't know i wish that there were uh more shows like that because that's the shit i like i like
that life-threatening um like disaster type
stuff i like seeing how people found the will to to get out of that stuff whether whether they had
to cut their hand off or just march to the desert way beyond what they should have been doing and
they talk about hallucinating and hearing things and it's fucked like the guy who had to walk and
so far he lost all of his toes he was hallucinating that
his wife's ghost word was there urging him on and he thought his wife had died he thought that meant
his wife was dead and that only the baby remained behind and so he's like i gotta go i gotta go
that's such a scary situation to imagine yourself in. Yeah. And he got himself into it.
Like when you watch like the first 15 minutes of every episode, you're like, well, you deserve anything you get.
Well, there's a reason that all of the episodes are like that.
And it's not like on a Sunday,
Bear Grylls went out for a week long expedition.
Being an expert, he packed exactly enough supplies
and he left safely seven days later
after finding a safe way to survive long term. Like these people are guys who like probably went to a subreddit about outdoorsing
bought a bunch of expensive shit and then took their brand new sneakers out to be
the wild boys like i would imagine because that's just retarded you have to you have to be a
a stone cold because the one where it was like they were in a blizzard and they got lost on the road that one is way more understandable than oh i decided to go on a cross-ocean expedition with
no experience whatsoever yeah i saw one where the guy was there oh he was in some country some
third world jungle country there to like get rid of mines for the un or something like that he
actually had an independent organization that demines war zones and he's an american white guy no british white guy in this
third world fucking country and they get uh kidnapped by um who was paul pott where was that
at that was in cambodia that's where he is he's in fucking cambodia and like paul pott's like
child soldiers or not child soldiers there are child
soldiers but his military fucking captures them and and him and his his like workers and they
don't understand that he's an independent organization he's got a translator but everybody
that he talks to is real pissed that he's there and they're talking about torturing them to death
and killing them and like every step of the the way, he's like manipulating them.
He's such a smart guy.
He's like, so I just thought right away, I couldn't let them treat me like I was a regular prisoner.
I was a white man in this country.
I was a British man.
And that still meant something to these people, maybe.
He's like, whether you like it or not, I used it.
So when they told me to walk into the
river and see if it was too deep for the truck, I refused. And I said that they should send the,
one of his men. And they did. It's like, whenever they told me I had to come with them, I said,
it was against the rules of my organization. And they would think about it a minute and it would,
they'd be like, no, you have to, but they thought about it for a minute and he was sort of getting into their head that he was to be treated as an E.
It doesn't seem like a reasonable rule.
And there was a part, he's like a long distance runner.
That's his thing.
So like there's a part where they let him go take a bath and I guess they were respectful of his privacy.
So they like let him go around the way and like strip down.
He's like bathing himself in the river.
And he's thinking like, if I run,
they'll never catch me.
I can,
I can run up this river.
It leads all the way back to town.
I run marathons.
It would be nothing for me to knock out 10 or 15 miles,
you know,
up this,
up this river.
But if I leave,
they're going to kill all my little work,
my little Cambodian friends.
And then they interview one of his little Cambodian buddies.
And he's like, he's like, John, John, he a brave man.
He could have left.
Many people would leave me.
Many, many people I know would leave me.
John would not leave me.
He goes, John is a brave man.
And I was like, yeah, he is.
And John ends up getting to...
He literally befriends the head poobah of the death squad
and has a nice meal with him
where they give him beer and their best food.
And then they send child soldiers to escort him
out of the war zone.
He used his power power persuasion and his
I'd be fucking killed.
Yeah, that's what I'd do.
Just what John did.
I mean, I would try to, but I don't know how that would go.
He would charm the head poobah
and get it done.
I'd be like, it's a 15 mile run.
Kill me!
I'd tell you what I'd do.
I'd have ran up that fucking river
and left those Cambodians behind.
That's what I'd have probably.
We need to combine our forces.
I think I would have stayed behind,
but lack the charm.
He would have read,
but had the charm.
Together.
We could save these people.
He was like,
he was like human beings.
When we get down to it are very selfish.
And I really wanted to run up that river and leave it.
He was really weighing whether
he should abandon these guys that that's a that's a really fucking brave val valiant is a better word
it's a valiant way to behave he then then uh he got blown up by a mine a couple years later in a
different country in a in a in a different country it blew his right leg off and his right arm.
Oh, he's okay.
And so he got a prosthetic leg.
It's not on the Kyle spectrum.
So then he got a prosthetic leg. Hit me out here because this is how hardcore he is.
He got a prosthetic leg and a prosthetic hook arm,
and he competed in that thing where they run seven marathons
back to back to back in the Sahara.
Yeah, but that just depends on how charged
your electric wheelchair is no he's running with his prosthetic leg through the sahara desert
bionic leg he cheated yeah oh it does not look a good leg yeah it wasn't a blade like they hadn't
come out with that yet he's in the sand he's in the sand he's just like a stump so it was a big
inflatable tire um that was a hero i shouldn't be alive guys i don't know what's his name john
john john chrisham yeah he wrote the pelican brief
taylor are you reading any books right now yeah actually uh i'm at like page a thousand of um
stormlight archive book four so i've 220, 230 more pages to go.
So I think after this.
Does it suck?
No, I'm loving it.
I don't know where in the book you like thought it started getting boring and shitty.
I'm really enjoying all of the drama and everything surrounding the kind of home base of Erythru now.
Or Erythru.
I don't know how it's pronounced in the audio of Erythru now or Erythru I don't know how it's pronounced in the
audio. Erythru
that's probably how that sounds more official
Erythru is how I've been doing it in my head
but it's great. I'm really enjoying it
I even planned out I got some more stuff
from our Death by Gummy Bear sponsor earlier
today so I've already planned out after
this show's over I'm going to drink some of that new
pineapple flavored syrup he just sent me to sample
before they take that live.
The little capsules, right?
No, it's the syrup
container. It says like Delta 9 or something.
I think I need to have a vape to use
some of this stuff.
Yeah, you definitely got
some cartridges that need to be screwed into
a vape pen
that are Delta 10, I think.
And then you've got these cough syrups
that are delta 9 and there's also some like little nugs of weed um that i just i haven't used um but
they're i haven't used them either they're right here yeah they look like little space rocks but
i don't have a grinder or a pipe or anything i don't i don't smoke weed um but i do like that
syrup i tried some of that scissor the other day i unlike you i did not mix it with sprite and make I don't smoke weed. But I do like that syrup.
I tried some of that Sizzurp the other day.
Unlike you, I did not mix it with Sprite and make a whole cocktail out of it.
That was a mistake.
Don't do that, folks.
And this isn't even available yet for purchase for what we're pushing. They were just telling us this will be available.
Or it's available somewhere.
But it's very good.
So my plan after this show tonight is, I mean, it's available from a couple of games.
What's the dose?
What's a beginner's dose of the syrup?
Like you want to.
So the whole container is 650 milligrams.
And so for you, you'd probably want to like take a spoon and just like do it like that.
Like it was medicine, like a small table.
Yeah.
Shake it first.
So you get it good.
But yeah, after this show, like that was my plan.
I was I texted Kyle earlier. The whole group. shake it first so you get it good um but yeah after this show like that was my plan i was i
texted kyle earlier the whole group i was like oh after the show tonight i'm gonna drink some of
that syrup right out of the bottle get absolutely blasted off my ass and then like read a fantasy
novel it's gonna be i'm excited thinking about it's gonna be a great evening i only started
drinking the scissor as i choose to call it uh last week i cracked open like the grape or something and and i started off
carefully like one sip and then felt that and then had i'm up to four sips whatever that is
i just turned the bottle up and drink it and it's pretty strong stuff like and it's i don't know it
doesn't taste terrible no it doesn't taste good it doesn't taste great but when i made the mixed drink with the
with the syrup and the sprite i thought it was going to be fancy and it was it was it's better
to just just just drink the syrup get it over with yeah it reminds me a lot of you ever have
dimetap elixir as a kid that great cough medicine yeah first of all that as a child was my favorite
flavor like like i whenever i had a cough
it was like do we have dimetap or do we have that bullshit robitussin like if she's got the
robitussin it's gonna be that bitter nasty shit the grape dimetap was like grape candy it was so
delicious this kind of tastes like that but it's you know it's doing a hard it's having a hard time covering up that stank that is the drug but it's pretty strong it is it is strong and it i feel like it hits you even
faster that's probably just like a liquid thing like the liquid's gonna get into you faster than
the solid right i don't know uh it does feel like it works faster though it really does feel like it
works faster uh but he sent like a shitload of gummies today they're uh
2,500 milligram jars about this big yeah they just added those options onto their site that
they're strong i had a couple people tweet me today and they were like taylor i didn't take
you seriously when you said to start very slow you were right and i was like yeah yeah like i
wasn't memeing dude like be like don't i don't
want you to get so blasted you're not enjoying yourself i want you to have a nice comfortable
high like you feel good like don't don't pk we take care of your brain and your dick around here
take care of your brain your dick the all sorts of body parts we need that's about it you know
you're right that is mostly those two have you guys kept up with the Uvalde police stuff?
Yes.
I haven't.
Or no, I saw that picture of them.
They were hanging out in the school, apparently.
And previously, they were like, we weren't in the school at all at that time.
We didn't know what the situation was.
Dude, it seems like the police are lying every step of the way.
They said that the server has lost all the body cam footage now. and it can never be released. We'll see if that holds true, but oh my god, no one believes that bullshit.
If the body cam footage makes the police look good,
it's out in like 45 minutes they release that shit.
If it makes the police look bad, it takes weeks, years, or maybe just gets
damaged in a file server error as it does here.
What was I going to say?
It seems like the whole city is on the side of covering up for these corrupt police.
Look at these pussies around the bend.
There's children in there with a murderer, and they're thinking about what to do next.
Just right down the hall somewhere on the right or left.
I don't know if the halls are like somewhere down there.
They don't give them that much credit.
They're so,
they're so scared.
They're so,
no,
that wasn't,
that wasn't credit.
I'm saying they can hear shots from a hall.
They can definitely hear the shot.
You remember high school,
right?
You could hear someone talking.
Currently they're blaming.
It seems like they're trying to pin the entire thing on the,
the commanding officer on the scene,
which I'm a little confused.
But my understanding of it from just picking up Reddit information is that this guy was the chief of police or something like that.
But now he's on the city council?
Yes.
He made that transition right after this.
So he got voted in before this.
Oh.
But it took a little while for him to actually
get the job what wonderful timing for him yeah so they uh i think they should have given him the job
because i'm really cautious about ignoring the will of the people like even though it's probably
pretty clear but they can't recall him because he has to be in there for like eight months or
something like that and they can't do something else but what they can do recall him because he has to be in there for like eight months or something like that. And they can't do something else.
But what they can do is deny his leave of absence, which I think they're doing.
Yeah.
So he's going to get fired.
Basically, it's the only legal mechanism they have to fire him from his next promotion.
We're not talking.
Taylor, don't don't misunderstand and think that this is the only thing that's ever going to happen to him.
This is just the thing that's happening right now is they're trying to get him kicked
off the city council this is moving too slow I feel like we have enough evidence that they didn't
but um but but no you can't just kick him off because it's a it so Taylor I think that you'll
respect this position he was voted in by the people this is the will of the people now we
all agree that he's a fuck shit and that he needs to get fired and put
in jail or whatever,
but we were careful about the precedent of ignoring the will of the people.
He got voted into this job.
He should get it on some level.
Yeah.
I hear where you're coming from.
It's just the,
the,
the justice collides with the reason on things.
It doesn't even matter.
Like he's never,
apparently never shown up for a meeting, you know, like, because he doesn't want to face the people but like even before
right they may know he was just sworn in like two or three weeks ago well fair enough then
in any case it seems like they're trying to pin the whole thing on him like like but but it's like
okay so he ordered you not to go in and you like we don't have one guy who's like, well, if they tell me not to,
I won't go and save the children.
We had one Border Patrol guy.
I just can't imagine that the chain of command at Uvalde is so intense
that when your commanding officer, this good old boy says, nope, don't go in,
everybody sticks their thumb up their ass and lets the kids die.
His argument is he didn't know he was in charge. He's like, I didn't know that I was in charge
at the time. Great. So the way you tell the story,
he's acting in charge and telling people not to go in. I'm not sure if that's true. It might be. Maybe you
heard something I didn't. Yeah, that was the story I was reading today. I don't know. The whole
thing's awful. They were in there really quickly and then they stayed there
at the end of that hallway and didn't do anything.
So I don't like that they're trying to blame
this on one guy and act like,
oh, those poor other cops.
Everybody, every cop there wanted to
storm in, but they
couldn't because orders are orders.
They're trying to do that right now
and it's just like, oh, all those cops.
All of them. Every one of them.
Except for the ones that tried to go in and were restrained and had their guns taken away.
There was that person was off duty, right?
The guy's wife called him and says, I'm bleeding.
I'm shot.
And he tries to go in and they they tackle him and take his gun away.
Like it's like make believe it's that's like despicable.
At this point, the police were pretty much in partnership
with the murderer basically an alliance like it like it it sounds crazy but like everything the
police did in that situation expressly acted to the benefit of the shooter inside not one thing
they did offered any threat like it if anything their presence there made people think this is under control
you know kind of step back
if they hadn't been there
the people in the neighborhood would have solved it
so fucking fast
so much faster than those cunts
I don't know man
the whole thing is fucked
I'm really shocked that it would happen in a small town like this
I think of those guys
as the ones who would
I don't know go take care of some know i don't know shit about the shooter
really good that's for the best i think anything i don't even tell me i don't care enough to even
know i i don't know like sometimes they have this well thought out like like uh the unabomber right
like when you read his manifesto it was like like, oh shit, this guy was really fucking smart.
He just had some,
he took things a little more seriously.
This guy was not the Unabomber.
The Unabomber was a mathematical
generational talent
who got MKUltra'd
into becoming a maniac.
This guy, on the other hand,
really just seems like a piece of shit
who like, we're wasting our time
to get inside of his head.
Yeah.
Agreed.
I've been mentally disrespecting i don't believe across the nation and like do they deserve that i don't know yeah they suck i don't
like them they suck and they're and like if something bad were to happen to any of the three
of us they're not going to be the ones to solve it they're not going to stop anything from happening
it's not in their job title to stop things from happening what would
actually happen is they would like come and make problems for you after the fact like they they
wouldn't be helpful like i hear that all the time that they it's not their job to break up a fight
it's not their job to protect you from this murder it's not their job to protect you from this murderer. It's not your job to protect you from this knife-wielding dude. And I'm like, I kind of thought that was your
job. It's best to protect and serve.
That's marketing. That's marketing, dude. Their actual job is to
bring their power to enemies
of the state. When something happens to a politician or
a really powerful billionaire or something, oh, the rallied oh they're there oh they're protecting that
mansion they're protecting that block like they know or at some level they must know who they
serve they're not going to protect like random people in the middle of a fucking you know 2020
blm riot or their businesses they're not doing any of that shit they just fucking stand there
and do nothing and get ordered to stand down and in some
of those situations i get it i i've talked about it i have a friend who is a cop who got called in
to like the 2020 you know riots when all that shit was going on that like wild summer and he got
called into st louis and was like yeah they just like would tell us not to do anything like there
would be bottles and bricks and shit thrown at us, and we would just stand there and just absorb blows.
Oh, dude, I saw this guy.
And then sometimes it would just go wild,
and they'd start beating the shit out of people.
I saw a guy break into a cop car in the middle of the day.
He just doesn't care that there are people around witnessing him
smash the windows of the cop car in,
and then he reaches in and he reaches
in and steals a laptop and i expect him to take off running he like nonchalantly like dusts it
off and inspects it like yeah this'll do and then like strolls away like he didn't he did not give
a fuck have you seen videos in san Francisco Of the Best Buys
They started out running in
And just stealing shit
And now they're getting carts
Before they go in
They're like taking the time to bring
Backpacks and carts and then just steal shit
And then nonchalantly walk out
Because apparently we don't live in a real society
In San Francisco where you can just steal shit
I saw the guy come in
To a CVvs and he's
on an electric bike and he's got like a giant sack i mean like 40 gallon sack and he gets every piece
of cosmetics in the cvs every lipstick and eyeliner and like you know there's like really
expensive for the amount they weigh yeah yeah yeah 18 all and it's like like this like zips
right out that they can't do anything i saw a whole montage of them um zach i don't know if
you played the audio from that thing i just sent you but that's a real 911 call that i feel like
is just i don't even know how to react to it it's it's a real quick one though that i found on reddit
i think what is it 30 Oh, you sent it.
I see.
Yeah, I don't know if it's possible to play that here, just the audio maybe.
The video is irrelevant.
It's just like video to take up the space of video.
It's not related to the audio.
But it's a 911 call from a mother with some rowdy kids.
After I heard it, I want to see what your take is,
whether you think the mother making the call is a piece of shit or the 911 operator is a piece of shit.
Because I can't decide.
And I'm usually like real quick right down the middle and I kind of take a side.
But I couldn't on this one.
I feel that they might both be assholes.
But we'll see what you think.
What is your emergency?
Yes, I need a police officer over here at 7th Street.
What's going on?
I've got two teenage daughters, and I just got home from work.
They were physically fighting with each other, and one of them kicked a hole in a door.
They're 12 and almost 14 and
the 12 year old is completely out of control and i i can't physically if she's as big as i
am i can't control her okay did you want us to come over to shoot her
are you there excuse me that's a joke okay so who are you what is your name mike forbes
that's a joke okay so are you what is your name mike forbes mike forbes cool guy of the week cool guy of the week locked up i've we haven't done that bit in
a year but in the week mike forbes a little golf clap for that guy well you want me to come over
and fucking shoot your daughter you dumb daughter just the the intonation
of his voice in that is hilarious it would be funny if if it would be funny if that weren't
a likely outcome of calling them to respond to something like that um like go to that police
activity channel and for the most part the cops are in in the right when they pull the trigger. I'll say that for sure.
But you'll see so many where it's like, there's no de-escalation. It's so easy to take steps
backwards and just get out of there. Like there's an old lady with a knife that I watched. I've
referenced it before because I've seen her die so many times. It keeps popping up on Reddit.
it before because i've seen her die so many times it keeps popping up on reddit and she's just so old and so out of it holding this knife and she's in the house and he's in the garage and he just
has to take one backward step and he's in the yard now but he's just like put it down put it down
and it's like dude does she look like she's going to negotiate with you right now she she thinks
fucking kennedy's the president right now she's she's got two knives and she's being wacky with them like you're not going to be able to
negotiate you need to you need to take a step backwards and we need to find somebody with a
fucking net or something you know in the movies that comical like net they throw over crazy people
it's like a um a comical net or maybe like the lasso with the stick like they use on a dog's neck you know that would be so effective
yeah I was thinking
like like I've seen they usually use it as like
a prop in a jokey movie but
it's like it's like one of those nets you would use for
fishing but it's person sized
and you like throw it over a crazy
footage lately of the cowboys who got
the runaway cow cows on the highway
yes
yeah they could have handled this woman I like who got the runaway cows on the highway? Yes. Yeah.
They could have handled this woman.
I like that so much.
Whenever I see a guy who can operate that fucking lasso,
I think that's such a talent.
I didn't know that was real life. How do they get the back legs?
He's flinging them at them.
It's amazing.
I couldn't hit the back legs with a baseball while I was riding a horse.
And he somehow captures them with a lasso.
Why aren't the legs on the ground?
I don't know how they do it.
It's incredible.
He's throwing a big loop that they end up walking into and then cinching it up and catching a leg.
You think they walk into it?
They're not catching the leg while it's pointed in the back?
I don't know.
They're usually catching the cow while it's pointed in the back i don't know they're usually catching the cow when it's like in motion so i think they're just throwing like under it and
like leading the target and hoping that it like i don't know i don't know i'd love to talk to a
cowboy about something like this right we should get somebody terrible at telling stories oh you
gotta find one of them storytelling cowboys yeah you do the plays the guitar and everything. Ukulele? Yeah. Like, I would like that.
Kyle, there was
a motorcycle question here that we could answer
while Taylor's away.
Woody and Kyle, from the perspective of both
a new and long-time rider, what is the
verdict on learning to ride a motorcycle?
I've been holding back, jumping onto the hobby
for a while. I feel like I'd really love it.
The risk-reward dilemma is what's keeping me hesitant. I'm 25. I can afford it. I live in
California, and I'm pretty risk-tolerant. Should I jump in? Yeah. Yeah, you think? Yeah, it's really
fun. I would say I probably ride, I definitely always ride at least two days a week, and then
there'll be a week where I ride every day.
I haven't ridden probably in three or four.
I'm packing.
I'm packing and throwing things away.
I talked about it earlier, going to more of a Spartan version of Kyle that doesn't have any possessions.
I've thrown so many things away.
I highly recommend getting a bike.
I think that you should ride a bunch of them if you can before you pick one.
I'm not sure I love my bike more than I might like something else.
I don't have a lot of comparison.
I've ridden a couple of other bikes, and I haven't found anything that I like more yet.
But I'm sure there's something that would just, I'd be like, oh, what have I been missing?
I wish I'd gone through a process where instead of picking something that looked cool i'd have like
ridden 30 bikes and like found the one that felt really cool not again not that i don't like my
bike and it feels good it takes curves really well not that i take them too fast anyway but
i just like cruising around on my motorcycle on cool days and um usually at night lately i like it a lot
i like mine too mine's partly a social thing you know like it i put i think i have on my facebook
like half of my friends think helmet head is just what i look like you know like whether it be from
the paramotors or from the motorcycles or what have you, it's a shared activity that gets me out camping and it gets me out riding and it gets me out doing things with other guy friends.
And I like motorcycles for motorcycles.
I do ride by myself.
I just went on a long ride two days ago.
But I also like that it's helped me form part of my friend group.
you know, it's helped me form part of my friend group.
I like knowing that like, if I needed to escape the city,
I could throw my backpack on and fill my little saddlebag thing up,
my tank bag up with like the bare essentials and just zip on out of the city.
And I could split lanes if I needed.
I mean, if it's an emergency,
like we'll just scrape along between cars if we need to.
Who fucking cares if we're like,
if like Putin is nuking cities or something like that
and I need to head west...
He's in California, so he
can split lanes anytime he wants to.
And he pays California gas prices.
It's like, wouldn't you like to have 60-70
miles per gallon in split lanes?
Is that what you get?
Not me, no. But there are bikes that do.
Mine gets like 50-50.
42.
Yeah. Mine will do 42 if I go fast enough. not me. No, no, but there are bikes that do mine gets like 50, 50, 42. Okay.
Yeah.
I think I'll do 42.
If I turn,
if I go fast enough,
I'm in the forties when I go a hundred.
I don't,
I don't think it's a,
I think my back bike's just not very fuel economical or something like that.
Maybe it's a product of being a four cylinder.
I don't know.
I know.
I know.
Just,
I don't know.
I don't know much about bikes.
Not nearly as much as you do.
I was showing a couple of my friends that little –
you sent like four pictures of you on your adventure bike,
and one of them was on its side.
I accidentally started with that one, and I was like,
my friend Woody's on an adventure.
Look.
And she's like, oh, it doesn't look like it's going very well.
I'm like, no, no, no, hang on, hang on.
Go back.
That's his worst moment.
Trust me.
Most of the time it's upright.
But I like that you include that picture what he's like on an adventure and it's like his bike in like three or four pristine cool
little areas and then on its side in a mud hole is the last picture yeah yeah it doesn't always
go the way you planned dude i'm glad that it's like i like the idea of like dropping that thing is just a learning experience and not, Oh fuck.
You know,
one thing I,
for a new rider,
I like the idea of being able to drop the bike and it not being an event,
you know,
like if you get a super moto or an adventure bike or a couple of bikes are
just built to be dropped dirt bikes.
I mean,
I fall all the time,
maybe a couple of times a day on my dirt bike.
It's supposed to be dropped.
They built it with that in mind.
And then there are other bikes like the naked street bikes or the full-sparing race bikes.
I did in my tank when I went down.
Yeah.
They didn't have falling in mind when they built that bike.
Whereas mine, I didn't even pick it up.
I took pictures first.
That was one of the most embarrassing moments and i had in a long time
jumping that bike at the intersection oh picking that thing up with those people like i could see
them like like i've got tinted lens so they can't see my eyes thank god so there's a little bit of
anonymity there but i'm look i can tell they're they're like staring daggers at the idiot who
just crashed right in front of them and i'm just trying to get that fucking thing up and start it again and like up into like dirt i'm
having to ride it through dirt and stuff at first it was i don't know what other people see when
they see me in my gear with my tinted lens but i see the coolest guy in the world i'm fucking
batman you can't see my face like i bet they think i'm like handsome
and 27 years old that's probably their assumption probably their assumption drive by aarp license
plate i uh i like when i'm in town and there's like glass in the windows and you can look over
and you can see yourself on the bike i'm like oh i look good on the bike like matches like like like the bike's red i'm red um and you know um how a suit jacket can give anybody
like a really nice v and stuff like my protective jacket it's got i don't know if it has padding up
here maybe it does i just feel like it it v's me up in a really attractive way and uh and then i've got the i got the tinted face mask and i just think
i look athletic and sharp in it and yeah i think you look athletic and sharp and just about
anything you put on big boy thank you kyle i think that's just how you look you guys are both so cute
you know what the last hour of our show every week should just be encouraging each other.
I try to get the gym talk
flowing again. Like, hey guys, let's talk about
this. Did I send a video? No, I don't think
I shared the video of me doing dips today. I hit a new
PR. You sent the PR thing. I sent
back when I saw it. You look awesome.
Great job. I want to see you guys
start working. Hey, look what I did at the gym
today. I'm too self-conscious about my body i'm gonna i'm definitely gonna send pictures like i'm about
to be assembling the new gym so like i'll definitely be sending like pictures as i get
everything put into place and i'm gonna send pictures of the smoked meat i've been making
i like the mirrors and lighting and music sometimes we're going full steam and sometimes it's not full steam.
Yeah, I had to switch houses.
The one I was going to move in,
they moved my move-in date
past the date that I have to be out of here.
That's no good.
At the last minute,
I'm having to choose a completely different house.
The only thing I care about is the garage.
If people don't know,
his move-out date is about four days before his move-in date,
leaving him homeless for a few days.
Yeah, and my belongings in the nether realm.
The way Cal describes it, I guess one or two people own the planet's real estate now,
so he's choosing amongst their other properties.
Yeah.
So I got to pick one.
I think I got like three in mind,
but the only thing I care about
is how big the garage is for this gym.
So that's my main thing.
I'm hoping that I've got enough room
that I can put everything I want in there
and also like throw like a ratty couch
and a TV in there.
And like, I think if I hang out in there,
then like not only,
I'll be able to get like two a days in.
Like I'll just randomly be like, yeah, let's lift'll be able to get like two a days in, like, I'll just
randomly be like, yeah, let's lift this a little. Like, I think if I could work that if I lived in
a gym, it's what I'm going for. Cause I watched pumping iron the other day and they talk about
how Arnold lived in the gym for a while. He's like, Arnold just, he just moved in and he lived
back there in that little, in that little room. And he had his protein powder and they'd come out and
then he'd lift weights and then go back in there and sleep for eight hours. And this is like,
I kind of like that. What if you lived in a gym? That's so funny that like you say,
like the whole, like if I'm just hanging out, I'll just start doing stuff. I'll go through phases
where most of the time, like when I, I try and keep it separate because I used to do that where
I'd hang out in the gym more, but like, it me go slower and so i would be like all right the next two
hour block i'm just busting ass like the first hour and hour and a half or so is my set and then
the next 30 minutes i'll just do accessories that i kind of want if i'm not feeling quite pooped
enough and there were times like where my wife would come down and be like are you gonna come
up for dinner at all and i'm like i mean i finished my workout two hours ago i'm just kind of firing off overhead presses curls and and uh
seated rows every time i feel with energy and she's like that's stop you're mixing push and
pull you fucking psycho it was it was an off day it was an it was a rest day that i didn't want to
rest and so i was like like long breaks i can kind of do a little bit of everything on team Kyle with this.
I can see the idea that if you have the room right there,
you might use it all the time.
But the thing is I do that not with the gym,
but with the pantry.
If I spent too much time near the pantry.
So, so I think I'm going to go cheap on this this rack because i just don't see any reason to have
an expensive one so i'm gonna get the cheapest one i can find like i'm gonna get like a four or
five hundred dollar one or something make sure the depth is comfortable enough like that's the
biggest thing you need to work where otherwise i wish i kind of wish i could do overhead press
in the rack like if it was that tall.
Yeah. Oh, yeah. I want the tallest one. I want 93 inches or whatever.
I think there's some that are like over that, like in the hundreds.
But 93 inches is definitely what I want. That's a requirement.
But I've got to buy a really nice piece of cardio equipment.
So I think I'm going to put that money there so they can instead of spending 1500 or 2000 on like the
cadillac of k of power racks that i just really don't have a use for other than to look at and
say that looks cool i think i'm gonna put that into a nice piece of cardio equipment i've looked
at the road no i've got i've already got one of everything i've got on the yeah so i for cardio
i've been going outside and like walking or even power walking for long
times, but now it's 90 out at like 8 PM. A hundred degrees today. Yeah. Yeah. It was 97 at 5 PM here,
5 PM, 97. Now I don't know what it was after sunset, but still too hot. So I've been thinking
about cardio now, please, where are you landing on your cardio? Okay. So elliptical is the only
way to go. It's it to me, it's which kind of elliptical is the only way to go it's it to me it's which kind of
elliptical because there are some that are that bow flex makes one that's more like a stepper
that's really a lot of glute activation and it's almost like endless stairs because it's so
but then like um um i i'm i can't think of the brands right now but maybe it's solo or something
soul or something like that.
Just a standard.
The real important thing I've found is they need to have adjustable stride because as six-foot-tall men, we need to be able to adjust it.
And a lot of them are made for five-foot-eight men and women,
and that just won't feel right.
But that's the best thing I've done for cardio.
You'd like a bike though.
I bet you'd like,
Rogue makes an air bike that's like $800.
Titan makes one that's $700.
The Peloton being a game would help a lot.
That's a very distracting thing.
And if you gamify something,
the last time I rode on a bike for hours on end
was 2018 during our fitness competition i i rode a bike for four and a half hours straight
because of the competition we were having like that that's what you need is that i thought about
a treadmill with a shelf for the computer for entertainment and the upside of the treadmill
is it can go vertically against the wall and not take any space i don't like the treadmill i'm listening i just don't like the treadmill you
know like you're you're gonna you're walking right like that that's what we're getting to
is just indoor walking run i hate jogging on it like i've seen the ones that don't have motors
now that are like this weird like suspended yeah where you like push it with your own your power action i don't know i would just cheat to the point where i do
dips and watch netflix i got i got uh this is i don't think i've ever told this on the show before
i got i got like slightly basically my mom was hyper sensitive about weight stuff because she was always like trying to look good and like wear nice things and
everything.
And so when I was like 10,
I was,
I was not fat.
I was not fat.
I was playing hockey constantly.
And she told me I was getting chubby and I couldn't have regular soda
anymore.
So that's why I'm like into diet and everything.
But she,
Oh fuck,
fuck.
I just forgot where I was going with it.
Your mom,
she was always weight
sensitive and she imparted that on you as a child you weren't really chubby but you were
she thought you were she basically like gave she like set this is a different thing but because i
forgot where i was going but she set me up with that like you're fat all the time thing when i
was a normal weight like not all the time but she would like like, you're fat all the time thing when I was a normal weight.
Like, not all the time, but she would, like, say, like, you're getting borgies.
And it's like, I'm playing competitive hockey, like, seven times a week.
Like, I'm not fat.
And I got to the point in, like, my mid-20s that I became, like, over fucking weight.
And, like, for a bit, I was like, you're not that fat.
Like, you're just, like, you're thinking about your mom's voice in your head again saying
you're overweight and then like i saw myself like naked out of the shower one day and it's like your
mom's so right like she's you're an animal you're an absolute like sack of of bacon grease like just
just i went the other way like let's say that now i think my perfect weight is just under 200, like 198, 199. I think I look pretty good.
But I'll weigh like 206.
And it's like, oh.
So you're within striking distance.
You probably really weigh 203 if it were earlier.
And 203 is kind of like 198.
And I just lie to myself until I get like 10 pounds heavy.
And it's like, all right.
208 is not 198 they're not that's not
your morning cut yeah i i would i would like i'm so much more delusional like i would like
put on a pair of pants and be like ah these never fit
you shrunk them again you shrink one more of my shirts bitch you shrunk everything in this house
all of my clothes are too small how did you make the bed
that's how that's like how how like denial you get sometimes it's like i've been doing my laundry
too hot no no hot cycle has always been good to you, Taylor.
It's only now.
Oh, but back to the cardio equipment.
To me, it's an elliptical because of the low impact.
So you're not fucking up your joints.
I don't have any issues with my joints.
I think my right hip can give me a little bit of trouble if I do a deadlift just the wrong way, I guess I'll say. Or if I go too deep on a squat or something, my hip can give me a little bit of trouble if I do like if I do a deadlift just the wrong way I guess I'll
say or if I go too deep on a squat or something my hip can give me a little bit of trouble but
other than that I don't really have any issues at all oh shit I'm doing the thing Taylor did I'm
losing my train of thought oh yeah so that's low impact I've never liked treadmills because I can't
commit to steady state times on a treadmill like the idea of jogging for an hour seems insane to me.
I know that there's a lot of people who enjoy that,
but I'm just fucking done with it after a while.
Whereas with the elliptical, you can kind of use your legs for a while
and then your arms can kick in and help a little bit.
And you never really get burnt out.
You're just doing cardio for the sake of cardio.
Does it tell you what to do or is it you deciding
like because i would rather have a machine like all right woody for the next 45 seconds i'm gonna
kick your ass made it like so what i do um i want to say um 130 is uh it's when we're burning
calories it's like cardio and so derrick said to get to 130 130 beats per minute and stay there
for 45 minutes, an hour,
whatever it was.
My watch has it exactly
and using my watch,
I was able to calibrate the handles on the machine
that I'm holding. I'm like, okay, it's
four beats fast or whatever it is
and then I could use that and I would
just keep it at 130 for the whole fucking time.
If that meant
taking it kind of easy for a while yeah let's take it easy for a while as long as we keep our
heart going and if I see it start getting 132 131 oh let's bust ass let's get going and then I'd
shoot it up to 170 sometimes and see how long it took me to cruise back down taking it easy
just always keeping it at a rate where I was burning fat,
burning calories at a decent enough rate,
and then doing that every single day for three fucking months.
I remembered what I was saying.
While dieting and doing 10,000 steps a day.
The 10,000 steps a day are huge.
If you can just get that in.
It's so easy to get 10,000.
It's so much less than you think.
Well, I also like my moves.
When I'm on calls
that's completely separate from my workout
I only wear the pedometer
when I'm doing my walk
I make that it's own fucking thing
like those 10,000 steps
are on top of like living
those are in the neighborhood
lately I've been not doing them
because it's 103 fucking degrees
out there.
Yeah.
So you just need to pace around your living room and talk to yourself.
I get a lot of steps that way.
Do you ever yell at yourself?
Yeah.
I it's funny that Josh brought it up earlier, but he's like mushrooms like taught me to like be a little less critical on myself, like in my own head, because for the longest
time, like the vast majority of my adult life, my internal monologue,
like anytime I do anything was like,
you're,
you fucking suck.
Like you,
you're like,
you suck at this.
You're bad.
Stop trying.
Like,
fuck you.
You're a,
you're a loser.
Like you,
like I,
and it was like only in the past couple of years that I was like,
you know what?
Like,
that's like a really bad way to talk to myself in my head.
Like I need to like be like more uplifting in my head like if
i if i miss a workout or if i overeat or if i do something i don't like i need to like cut off on
like the roast session that i have for the next few days and be like you know what yeah you did
that you fucked up like you can do it you've done it before where you've lost weight where you've
gotten like looking good like just do that like do that again like that's made a big difference it really has it
sounds silly but like changing your pattern of thinking really is i have a balance it makes you
better on one hand i do like to keep my standards high hey bro that wasn't good enough but it's
balanced with you know one loss doesn't make you a loser yeah the golden state warriors won the
championship the year they probably lost like 30 games i don't know yeah won the championship the other day. They probably lost 30 games. I don't know.
Including the playoffs.
I'm kind of interested in the bike
that allows you to do the competitive thing though.
That sounds fun. Yeah, there's two.
There's the Peloton and the
Swift. I don't know how to pronounce
Swift starting with a Z.
Swift.
You guys do that easily.
There's different methods you can buy like a kind of expensive one like you suggested and it's a full
indoor stationary bike you can put a regular bike on top of something that has a wheel under the
tire uh and there's a whole range i i mean i want want it. I'm going, I want something that I'll enjoy doing when I do it.
Cause that's the main thing.
The thing that I had to do,
God,
it was so fucking awful.
I literally,
this might sound a little silly,
but I,
I tried to meditate my way into a,
a state of not being aware of how awful what was happening was like,
I would be like 25 minutes in and,
and want to be done like i'm like
but i've got to do an hour and i'm just like i it's so excruciating that i have like ants in my
pants wanting to get off this fucking machine about to have a fucking attack i'm like i want
off this fucking machine i want off of it and i just close my eyes and like just just go to another
happy place imagining i'm falling through darkness or something like, just, just go to another happy place. Imagine I'm falling through darkness or something like that infinitely and
just go to a happy place.
And when I would open my eyes,
eight minutes might've passed and I'd be like,
Holy shit.
It worked.
Let's do it again.
Goodness.
No,
I'll do that during planks and I can't get 30 seconds to pass.
Oh,
I will do that during planks too.
And the amount of time between me being like
zone it out and this is unbearable is embarrassing where it's like like like a minute in your i'm
saying like i i like planks i like the way planks are part of what i'm done i actually do side
planks and they're part of the mcgill big three to like bulletproof your back oh i didn't even
know those were good for my back. The side ones where you go
like this. I will say I was having
a hard time not laughing at Josh about
that nonsense. The Pilates?
Yeah. Come on.
Come on. No, Pilates is fine.
It depends on what your goals are. Yeah, that whole machine
he wanted to be yanking on and stuff
with the water thing.
Come on.
Stretch. Come on. on youngest looking 52 year
old i've ever seen in my life oh the pilates did that that he started like last month how long
it seems like it's the fucking drugs actually so i was i was telling my friend that he was our
guest tonight i was kind of excited and i googled him and he has shirtless pictures on the internet
and it's like fuck he's he's fit he looks good he's like pilates is a
isn't it a girl isn't it like girl fitness like like that's i really okay i do think that having
said that i like a lot of girl shit so yeah pussy i don't know like i i guess i was just thinking
they're fucking shoes every time i'm'm in the girl section of REI, I'm like,
this is my jam.
Are those Taylor Swift Velcros?
I guess I just don't know anything about Pilates. It seems real
fucking stupid to me.
Yeah, you're making an ass of yourself.
I just don't know what they are.
I try to get people to explain it.
He couldn't even explain it
It's like you asked him what a producer does
He was like well you uh
Well show that weird machine with someone doing a scorpion tail
With a pulley on their foot
Yeah that's Pilates
Well but not really though
And it's like what the fuck do you do bro
Because if you asked me what jiu jitsu was
I could tell you in a heartbeat
Like I could lay it out for you.
You kept asking, do you go to a class? Are there people? Is there an instructor?
It's just go with the flow, bro.
It's like, what is Pilates? You're thinking
Ferrari. You should be thinking
Lamborghini.
There's my problem.
You're thinking yoga. You gotta
think Pilates.
I remembered the oh there's my problem you're thinking yoga you're gonna think pilanes i remembered uh the the stupid treadmill like mom thing i was gonna say when i was like 15 i was playing 15 16 years old i was playing so much competitive hockey i was active every single
day and when i was home like i was like wasn't like sitting playing video games very
much i was playing cod for a little bit it had just come out in 2007 when i was 16 but not that
much mostly i was very active and my mom and to a lesser extent my dad made me feel like i was a
little like fat that summer and we're like you need to use we're gonna make you go on the treadmill
every day for like a certain amount of time.
And it was like, I'm going to fucking like hockey practice all the time.
It was incredibly active.
Probably the most like activity I could have ever done in my life.
I was constantly doing it from like 15 to 18.
I was in great shape.
And I remember I would go in the basement where the treadmill was.
And the first couple of days, like I ran and did it.
And I would, I like leave and my
mom would be like, how much did you run? And I'd like say the amount, like distance or whatever.
And so like after the first few days, I'm like, this is fucking bullshit. Like I'm, I'm so active
all the time. And so what I would do, I would go in there, I'd bring a bottle of water and I would
turn on the treadmill as fast as it would go. And I would turn on the TV to something and I would stand on the sides of the treadmill as the distance was going by.
And then before I went out, I'd pour some on my head, on my shirt and go out and be like, man, what a run, mom and dad.
And so I did that.
And they like by the end of the summer, we're like, we can tell we could tell a difference.
And it's like, yeah, that's the fucking three hockey teams i'm on right now that's definitely not that's the three on
three if what do you know like you know hockey you know three on three sure that's where you
segment the ice kyle you imagine the full facing you that's the rink my hands like kind of the
rink facing you flat side up there's a line here and here that segments that rink into three
portions there and there
and so you can have three games going laterally horizontally on the ice and it's three on three
and there's still two goalies and everything and what it means is that goalies get absolutely
shelled i in a three on three game i had 122 saves once because that's how exhausting it is
because it's like oh they got the puck in they're shooting and it was i was doing that constantly i was like leaving so sweaty and like it's only now
that i'm saying all this out loud 30 feet apart yeah exactly like get it shoot that way get it
shoot that way and there's no hitting for the players because there's no boards on one side
and so like they're just loosey-goosey passing setting up plays and it's just like a
training regimen for goalies and i was doing that fucking constantly at the time and so like looking
back now i'm realizing like yeah that was absolute bullshit i was in tremendous shape when i was in
my mid-teens playing so much hockey that was fucked up of them to make me think i was so fat
i had to run on a treadmill i thought i. I won the skating competitions with my team.
I was the best skater on the team. It's
often said the goalie's the best skater on the team.
When they would get punished and be like,
hey, Taylor, you're part of the team too.
We're skating, bag skating.
Obviously, going forward, I was not good
compared to the players because we're going forward.
Going backward as a goalie, that's
my fucking jam. I know the exact
crescents to cut.
Foo, foo, foo, foo, foo, foo, foo.
Like, I was great at that.
And, like, that was such trash.
I'm going to talk to my mom in heaven about that and my dad next time I see him.
That was bullshit.
I was not that fat.
Explain to your mom that even if you were getting chubby, that the treadmill is not really where it's at.
The kitchen is.
Mom, you're responsible for this. that the treadmill is not really where it's at. The kitchen is his mom. Yes.
You're responsible for this.
If you want me to cut weight,
it's done in the kitchen,
not the gym.
That's true.
The amount of pork I was served as a teenager was outrageous.
Like it's, it's a,
you know how every region has like their own,
like kind of shitty food that everybody likes.
And they're all like,
Oh,
it's yeah,
it's crappy and shitty but it's
good pork steak is that in st louis it's just the cheapest fucking pork meat you can imagine
and it was because it was st louis used to be a very low income all around city and so they get
these cheap ass cuts of meat and you have to literally like saute it in in sauce so it doesn't
dry out because it's inedible because it's already
so dry and i remember like having those twice a week and even at the time being like you know
this isn't this isn't real steak like is this is this good fitness oriented i say well that looks
really good those are some very good looking italian steaks. I say stupid, stupid shit like, you know, restaurants, all they care about is that the food tastes good.
You know the problem with restaurants?
They're all about the money.
Well, the fucking restaurants, they just want their food to taste good.
Who could eat that?
They need it to be like low calorie and not salted no butter and
all that nonsense no restaurants don't focus on that at all but uh did you guys hear elon musk
is like going through with the twitter thing and he's introducing hard r tuesdays oh nice yeah
it's wild i'm excited about is there any truth to him? I thought the Twitter thing was not happening.
I did too.
Apparently, the board unanimously approved him
because the price he was buying at was over value for the stock.
So they have to agree.
It would be a bad business move not to.
So yeah, it looks like it's moving forward.
June 21st.
Yeah, so Zach just linked something from yesterday. So it's very
current. Twitter board approved proposed $44 billion sale. Yeah. So here's my understanding.
Elon Musk wants to buy Twitter and he wants to do it with Tesla stock. So he says, I'll give you
$44 billion worth of Tesla stock. I hope this is right. And Twitter is like 44 billion. Yes, that's way more than
anyone else thinks this company is worth. Thumbs up. Since then, Tesla has crashed,
but that doesn't impact how much Twitter sells for. He didn't say, I'll give you a whatever,
a thousand shares. He said, I'll give you 44 billion worth of shares. Now it's a bigger
portion of
tesla than he originally intended to pay for it if this makes sense yeah and now elon musk is like
i don't know if i still like twitter because like there's a lot of bots on it i think i might back
out but he expressly signed something that said that that's not a reason he can back out
so if he's trying to back
out can they still make him buy it they accepted his offer or not i don't know i have no idea
either i mean i i would be it seems like the bot thing would be worrying like if you bought a social
media platform and it was like by the way 18 of people are totally fake like that'd be a huge deal you
like you're buying basically the the user base like that's the point of twitter so zach said
something shares of twitter were up one percent hovering around 38 far short of the 54 20 420 54.20. 4.20. That Musk offered to pay. So the fact that it's trading for 38,
but Musk wants to pay 54,
implies that a lot of people think it's not really going to happen.
Otherwise, it'd be trading for close to...
Wouldn't you buy something for 38,
knowing that it's going to be 54 in a few days?
Of course you would.
Yeah.
So a lot of people don't have faith that the 54 will really happen
that's why it's selling at 38 personally i don't know interesting i can't see how it goes
i just wanted to bring fucking bring trump back let him get wild online again guys come on
i don't think he's gonna get wild online again i'm the only guy who thinks Trump has no I think Trump's same old
bullshit.
He's a comedian
who's been on the circuit using the same jokes
for eight years now.
And I think it's dull.
I don't think Trump...
Now he's what? Build the wall.
The election was robbed.
Same old jokes.
The same applause lines every time and the stuff he did
before like sort of lame name calling his company like little marco well that that was funny it was
but i don't i think it's great it's well he needs he lost his punch because he's been removed from
public discourse aside from clips of what he says like it's posted to social
media i think if you get him in a debate with the other republicans like if you do that if you do
one of those debates where it's him and like 12 other republicans that's where he shines man what
because when when it's his turn he's gonna take all the time he wants you know he is like he's
just wild with those he was so good off the cuff at those at like isolating and eliminating his competition you know and and he always he watches so much tv
that he always had his finger on the pulse of like where people's numbers were and and if they
had fallen you know behind of expectations and he'd put it right in their face you know they're
they're it was wild you'd never seen that before and i think he'll do it again to understand reality because on one hand he won
let's not like let's yeah he won i shouldn't forget that like the first time he ever ran for
a political office he became political president of the united states that is amazing political
instincts let's let's grant him some credit for that on On the other hand, it didn't work on me. I always thought it was lame and stupid.
So to me, it's still lame and stupid.
I'm like, this is lame and stupid.
Why can't everyone see this?
Maybe now they are.
I think something I might say for you a little bit would be the way people are like, oh, the reason Biden got so many votes is because it was like an express vote against Trump. Like the reason Trump would
get a ton of popular support isn't so much about, you know, what he's saying about his policy. It's
about a bunch of people who feel disaffected and going, oh, the media, the CIA, NSA, FBI,
institutional politics, every mainstream media corporation, every big bank, every big institution, all these people, they all hate this guy.
Well, this guy is becoming became an avatar of fuck you to all those institutions.
And that's why I liked him.
That's why so many people liked him.
He was literally an avatar of fuck big banking, mainstream politicians fuck the mainstream media fuck
big tech and their censorship fuck all of this bullshit with all of these powerful institutions
trying to control our ability to speak you hate this guy well i hate you so he's my guy how about
that like that's how so much of it he hates the people i hate too yeah i get that and then there's
a handful of people who just wanted to throw a molotov cocktail in washington dc that's what i wanted to do absolutely i like all those people i liked making those pieces of
shit on the left have to rub elbows with donald trump i like making the right sell their souls
to to donald trump that he went in there and it doesn't matter if if you were right or left
you were left lesser for for what he did as the president.
The left had to rub elbows and address him.
Nancy Pelosi had to walk her ass into the Oval Office and sit down across from that guy if she wanted to get anything done.
You know they hated it.
And then all the Republicans had to sell their fucking souls to ride him to the white house yeah like they had to throw out
all of that theologian nonsense i mean you can tell that's where kyle and i came in a good bit
because like in 2018 whatever it was like you and i were both like yeah as far as like a challenger
someone like bernie's pretty great because ever all those people seem to fucking hate Bernie too. They obviously hate him
way less than Trump, but even
so, it's still a fuck you
vote. And if something
happens again that gives me the opportunity to say
fuck you to all those media
banking institutions,
then fuck them. I will vote
to fuck them again. I will use the only
minuscule amount of power I have
in voting to vote for
whoever those people don't like fuck them i'll watch you do it i'll vote you know what i'm gonna
do i'm gonna you know what i'm gonna do kyle i'm gonna fraudulently vote in your name don't do that
what if i fraudulently vote for Biden? That would be so funny.
Yeah, I think that's a serious crime for you to commit, and they will track you down.
I've already said I'll never vote again out of solidarity to one of my wonderful friends, Kyle.
Never again.
That's right.
Unless I want to.
No, I agree with everything you said about Trump.
I loved it.
I loved all of it. I loved all of it.
I loved all of it.
Everybody was like, oh, he paid a porn star hush money.
Awesome.
That's so fucking cool.
Dude, I wish I've never paid a porn star hush money.
Dude, but Kyle, he drank a glass of water with two hands,
but he's never fallen off a bike.
You've got to admit.
Did you see him promise to never
ride a bike? He's like, I make this
promise to you.
I will never ride a bike.
That's so funny.
And he's safe out because
Where do you? i will never write a
what if he what if he what if he's been spending this time learning to ride a motorcycle
and he showed up at the head of one of those harley uh like like like cruise cruises with
like a thousand bikes could he win your respect if he showed up with just like the skull cap thing
on like like whatever you call like that helmet that's just the skull cap thing on, whatever you call that helmet
that's just...
I think it's called a half helmet.
That half helmet thing.
Fucking legs kicked up
like real Ford
pegs and he's just cruising
and he looked like he could operate a big boy.
Could he win your respect then?
Me? Oh, if he were to
join America's largest cosplay organization
yeah fuck it i'm here i want a truly honest response from this one trump goes out there
and he goes lots of people talking about crazy abby's this may seem silly It's called paramotoring. I get into it.
Obviously, double fans.
I get up.
I run.
I go.
Watch me.
I've been practicing this.
It's so much better than being president, being a paramotorist.
If he got into it and he was like, and you know what?
This should be a more popular hobby.
Lots of people.
Lots of good people.
Smart people.
What is Gamertag from YouTube.
He's doing this.
He's doing it.
Obviously, I'd vote for him if he did the paramotoring.
If he starts talking about paramotoring?
I can picture Woody
real time in his house like,
okay.
Jackie, shut up.
He's right.
Donald Trump wanted
to like paramotor with you
from Raleigh down to
like Charlotte or something
like that right we'll do the first flight
oh you'll do the first flight thing yeah
you know you'd be down
what if he was like
but don't make me look bad
nah I'll do it
fuck it I can't make you look bad. I'll do it. I'll do it. Fuck it.
Help him watch. I can't make you look bad without me looking like a shitty pilot.
So, of course.
I know this.
He's going to love it.
Oh, he's going to hit him with a ball, huh?
Oh, there he goes.
And he's down.
Wait, was that really a Trump drive?
Yeah.
He's a good golfer.
He's an amazing golfer.
Jesus.
He's a good golfer he's he's an amazing golfer jesus he's a very athletic man he's one of those
guys who looks like he's fat but you just know it's a real beefcake a powerful man you know like
you know from his early days he did a lot of physical labor and he built that that that base
that infrastructure was his years in the military it was his years in the military. It was his time in the military.
I've seen him there. It was his time
on the
Apprentice.
When he owned all those casinos,
he was a seaman. He was a seaman
with his yachts in Atlantic City.
Oh, Captain. Captain Trump.
I prefer seaman.
Seamaster.
Seaman Trump. Seamaster.
Seamaster.
That is a better name. Is that a title?
Did you make that up?
A seamaster?
I mean, all titles are made up.
Well, no shit.
But is that something they call you in the Navy?
Like you're the seamaster of the ship?
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
You have a captain, and then right below him you have the sea master.
Now his real job is more of a weather
and aeronautics thing.
That's what his thing is. He's
monitoring sea conditions, the swell,
the weather conditions, barometric pressure.
I want to believe you so I'm going to.
About a
sea master.
You have the master of the watch
and then you have the Seamaster.
Master
of the house.
Like it's
I don't know what
master of the house is.
I don't know.
There is no
Seamaster. There is a really good russell crowe movie though called master and
commander about uh that is a good one yeah yeah they're they're on a big ship of the line or
something i don't know much about that stuff but uh they're out that was one of the first movies
i watched after i got surround sound in my living room back in apex i think it's a good one for that
yeah and i i turned it up stupidly loud
and there's like cannonballs
zooming behind you and stuff.
That Band of Brothers also has really good
audio. Yeah, it does.
Anybody who's never seen Master and Commander,
it's a very good
naval cannon
shooting ship movie.
It's not really a pirate movie.
They're the good guys.
It's got Russell Crowe in it.
I always thought that little kid was so fucking hardcore they had like a like a yeah 11 or 12 year old like and he gets a little orphan he like
loses his arm and uh he feels bad about it and then someone gives him a book about some famous
captain who also is missing the arm and the kid's like instantly like fuck yeah
i'm gonna be hard as nails one-armed captain and like gets a hook and just goes back to fucking
work like that kid would have bled out immediately there's no way he survives that on that pirate
ship oh it's a good movie though i like it a lot i like i like genre pieces like that where
where you've got i like westerns i like pirate stuff I just wish there was more of it. I'm tired of sequels and I'm sick of Marvel.
I'm done with Marvel.
Don't get me wrong.
Don't celebrate yet.
I'm going to watch
the main movies.
I'll watch the Thor movie
and I'll stick to
this. But this Miss Marvel
thing, I'm not watching that.
I'm not watching any more of their TV shows. I'm done with their TV shows.
I don't like them. Captain America.
That guy, the wizard.
Captain Time.
Doctor Strange.
Captain Time's a better name.
It is.
Doctor Strange's not too bad.
Captain Time's a way better name.
I'm just done with the TV shows, I think.
I don't think I want to watch any more of that shit.
I still like them, but I've lost excitement right like it used to be like so
many guys there's new like marvel content out there there is a lot of it but there was a gap
like the pandemic hit and there was this gap and then the tv shows landed everyone was excited for
wandavision wandavision yeah and i think that's what it was called. In any case,
something at the WandaVision level today
would be a flop.
I did not like it.
I'm done with it.
I hope they start flopping.
I want more.
I want fucking a good horror movie.
I want a good pirate movie.
I want a good cowboy movie.
I want a decent space movie.
People have to stop watching
these fucking marvel
movies because all of these titans of production have just figured out how to expedite production
in one way where they're like you know we can make enough money on our little fucking powerpoint
presentation to just do this kind of movie just do superheroes and never branch out oh you're right
it's like eventually people are going to get tired of it right like they have to like clearly kyle's getting tired of it it's got to be so formulaic at
this point being an adult watching a superhero movie that you're like i need more i need something
darker i need something grittier i don't need this fan service we're laughing about like eating
grapes in iron man's office whatever the fuck's going on i. I'm with you. I don't want to give up
on Marvel. I'm still excited about it now.
There's a new Thor coming out that I'm
down for.
He's jacked.
He's jacked. Christian Bale is in that one,
right? No.
Oh.
It's Chris Hemsworth,
the blonde Australian guy who
looks like Hulk Hogan
now that makes me so much happier I saw a commercial for uh the new Thor and I thought
it was Christian Bale in it and I was like oh come on man like no no I I want you get involved
in the Marvel universe you're like one of my favorite actors I don't want you to be relegated
to just that now I I know oh one thing that's coming out that might actually be decent.
So I really like The Predator, the first Predator movie with Schwarzenegger.
And then the sequel to it has Danny Glover, and they're in Los Angeles.
And it's just okay.
You can watch it.
But after that, it's been just a shit show after shit show for like four or five sequels or something.
They're making another one.
I think it's called Prey.
And this one takes place like 150 years ago,
and it's Comanche warriors versus a predator.
So I'm kind of into that.
That looks fun.
It looks like you're going to have maybe a female protagonist,
Comanche warrior lady,
and she's going to be like her and her tribe are going to try to fight a predator
with Comanche
bows and arrows and spears and shit. I think that'll be
fun. Maybe. I'm hoping.
It's been so shit forever.
It's been so shit. That last one
with the autistic
child, that made so
little sense. It was
so weird.
Because the child was autistic he was that they were like
oh that means that he can use predator technology then they're they're like he'll immediately just
learn he'll immediately just learn their like uniformic space language and be able to read it
and operate their machinery because he has super autism
his name's woody he's the best operator we've ever come across don't interrupt him
they basically like made autism like whatever remember rain man superpower yeah like whatever
rain man had they made it that he was uh what is that called idiot savant i don't think it's
idiot though it's like idiot savant something like that i think it's idiot idiot savant yeah yeah where
it's like you're you're really good at one thing yeah i think so yeah we could wrap up i didn't
realize we're over four hours i've been having such a good old time i've been having a good
time just talking to my friends online you're gonna go smoke something i'm gonna go uh drink some of that syrup and start reading my book in about you know a few
pages in i'm gonna start feeling send me a picture whenever you smoke those ribs that's what i was
actually uh talking it's idiotic ribs yes i've been saying idiot savant my whole life it's spelled
that way so that's a reasonable thing but it's idiosyncratic but oh the t is silent yeah
interesting i you learned something you learned something i wish we had that star thing
the more you know more yeah as it goes 601 by our compils